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Chapter Text

The remnants of the storm were evident in the overcast sky. Heavy clouds hanging low, obscuring the sun and casting a dull, grey light over the scene. Snowflakes continued to drift down harshly, adding to the thick layer already on the ground. Trudging through it, you made your way back to your temporary base, hands grasping a firm hold of your horse’s reins. Every few minutes or so the wind would let down slightly, and you were able to look up and ahead of you for a longer period of time without the harsh snowflakes boring into your eyes. Using the thick woollen scarf you had wrapped around your head as a shield for your eyes you assessed your surroundings. “Not far left”, you muttered to yourself while giving your mare an encouraging pat. 

Most back at Colter had deemed you crazy for willingly heading out in the current state of the weather, however you internally deemed it crazy not to. You were all starving, only a small selection of various canned foods to share amongst yourselves. Looking over your shoulder you eyed the three snow-pelted rabbits hanging limp from the back of your saddle. You had hoped for a better catch, but realistically you wouldn’t be able to find much better than this until the weather calmed even more. Even the rabbits were a lucky find in this gust, their tracks only revealing themselves in the snow after you trudged deep into a big grouping of trees shielding the area of the wind. Facing back ahead you thought to yourself that the rabbits would do more than well for the time being.

“Who goes there!”, you could just barely hear Lenny ask over the howling of the wind and snow boring into you. Getting just a little closer you called out your name, and you could finally see him, immediately lowering his rifle. Relief washed over his features as he repeated your name. “Thank god you finally came back, I was starting to worry we’d have to send Javier and Arthur right back out again”. You brought your horse to a halt once you were next to him, and Lenny rested an arm against its neck looking up at you.

“They’re back?”, you asked, relief hiding behind your questioning tone.

“Mhm, maybe an hour or somethin’ ago. John too, tho he’s in a bad way”, Lenny sighed, looking over at the main hut most of you flocked to to keep warm. You followed his gaze, wondering just how bad. “So you caught something huh”. Your gaze immediately snapped back at Lenny as he took notice of the result of your efforts. 

“Yeah, just about”. You got off your horse with a soft huff as your feet hit the deep snow, walking over to feed her a little sugar cube you had found you still had in your saddle bag. “I didn’t expect to find much, tho I can’t lie, I'd hoped for something with a little more meat on its bones”, you said earnestly, and he let go of the rabbit he was inspecting.

“Ahh I reckon this is more than enough for now”, he assured you, giving you a soft pat on your shoulder. “You should pass these on to Pearson and get back inside”.

You gave him an appreciative smile before wordlessly making your way to the hitchpost. 

“You did good girl”, you praised her with a pat before detaching the rabbits and hurriedly seeking refuge in Pearsons little makeshift butcher shed. You found him halfway passed out on the chair he’d propped as close to the roaring fire as possible, a bottle in his hand. Rolling your eyes, you kicked him lightly in the shin, yet he didn’t move a muscle. Trying again, just a little bit harder this time, it only elicited a slurred groan before he stilled again. You’d been outside for hours now, the cold had already settled deep inside your bones. Yet, after letting out a frustrated sigh, you swallowed your urge to just dump the rabbits on his snoring face and head inside. With stiff steps you forced yourself over to the table right by the edge of the shed, unsheathing your knife. It didn’t take much to skin those small mammals, however it was a bloody affair and you didn’t know when you’d get the chance to wash your gloves so you were forced to take them off to get the job done. Once skinned you tied them up on the metal rack hanging on the wall of the shed, before giving Pearson one last push. This time his eyes finally opened, and he looked around in desperate confusion, slurred words leaving his lips. 

“I got you some rabbits, all skinned and ready for cookin’. Please make us something nice and warm”, you explained while already heading for the exit. Behind you his slurred words ultimately cleared slightly as he processed your words, a rapid thank you amongst them as he shuffled up to his feet clumsily. “Mhm”, you mused quietly, only enough energy left in you to make your way to the hut. 

“See, I told you she’d be fine”, you heard Arthur announce to someone once you made yourself present. Multiple eyes darted your way, and you huffed with a smile.

“Course I’m fine”, you said, looking down at your bloodied hands. Walking over to the water barrel in the corner of the room you scooped some of it into a bucket and started cleaning yourself. The water was excruciatingly cold against your bare hands, and you scrubbed through gritted teeth. “Caught some rabbits, Pearson should have something more proper to serve tonight”, you let them know, and the sudden delight in the room was palpable. Mary-Beth walked over to hand you a cloth to dry your hands, whispering her thanks. The room had fallen silent again, as it was most days. You suspected it would continue to be silent until the weather cleared and the thaw finally came. 

Absent-mindedly you reached for your gloves, only to realise you had left them behind by Pearson’s table. Cursing under your breath, refusing to head back out there, you brought your frozen hands to your lips in a feeble attempt to warm them. The warm air from your shallow breaths only brought temporary relief. 

“Aquí, let me”. You hadn’t even realised Javier had moved from where he was leaned against a desk to stand next to you, his hand outstretched towards you, waiting. It took a second for you to understand what he wanted, and hesitantly you lowered your hands to his. Brows furrowed, he reached for the bottom of his poncho with his other hand, wrapping it carefully around your hands, before enclosing them between his own. Already you could feel the heat return to your fingers, and it no longer felt like they were about to fall off. You couldn’t help but lean slightly back against the wall, eyes fluttering close, finally letting yourself relax a little. Javier must’ve taken notice of your change in demeanour, as he smiled lightly before letting himself look away from you. 

~

You had never felt so restless as you did here at Colter. Though you’ve always been one of the more dependable workers in the Van Der Linde gang, you seemed to outdo yourself up here, filling every minute of your days with some sort of chore. Even when there were none left you made some up, determined to keep moving. A day had passed since your hunt, and the weather had calmed significantly. Still no sign of the sun, however the wind had come almost to a complete still, and the once harsh snowflakes now fell soft and lazily from the sky. You were in the middle of chopping more firewood, the motions tiring but doing wonders to keep you warm. 

“You don’t stand still much, do you, locquita?”

Stopping your motions you turned to look at Javier who was crouched down by the small fire outside their cabin, leaning his weight lightly on his rifle. He was shaking his head slightly in disbelief of how you kept it up the way you have been, a crooked smile forming on his lips. You looked back down at the firewood, aware you had already chopped more than enough a good while ago. Hacking the axe down into the thick log with a firm swing, you let go of the handle, turning on your heels.

“Suppose I don't”, you admitted once you reached him by the fire. He had been watching the way you went from one thing to the next ever since you all settled here, always keeping your hands busy. 

“The rate you’re going, even Miss Grimshaw will be left without nothing to do”, he said in an amused tone, and you let out a small laugh. Miss Grimshaw idling was unheard of. The corners of your lips settled into the smile, eyes on the flickering fire.

“Well, old habits and all”, you shrugged, warming your hands, and he quirked his brow at your words. 

You hadn’t been a part of the gang as long as he had, however you’ve been a part of this chosen family nearing at least a couple of years now. At this point you knew everyone’s story by heart, at least the ones who've been around for a while. Despite this, you’d never really shared much stories of your own past, or more so of your upbringing. It wasn’t like you had a lot of reasons not to share them, so you supposed it just simply came down to the fact that you don’t really like thinking about it. If that topic of conversation was ever directed at you, you only talked about the handful of years right before you crossed paths with the gang. 

“Eh, well I was actually brought up here in the mountains”, you decided to share. You waited a bit, eyes flickering up to look at him. But Javier still didn’t say anything, seemingly waiting for you to continue. “I lived with my uncle after my mother passed when I was eight. Moved from a small home in the sunny Scarlet Meadows to this little shack my uncle had built himself on a mountaintop somewhere close to Lake Isabella. Dormin Crest he’d named it”. You weren’t sure whether or not to keep going, however you still felt Javier’s gaze on you, showing no sign of interrupting as he continued on giving you his full attention. “My uncle”, you sighed “-ever the man of nature, had moved up to the mountains many years prior to prove he could ‘live off of only what nature could provide him’, even in a barren place such as this. Prove to who? That was never clear, but he was ever passionate about it. It sounds commendable enough, tho people in town had always deemed him mad. Somewhere along the way there turned out to be some truth to it. Being up here, it changed him.”

“In what way?”, Javier couldn’t help but ask.

“Well, I was quite young, but the first thing I realised was that he wasn’t speaking anymore. Like at all. No matter what I did to try and get him to talk, the efforts always fell short. All them years up here alone, he’d become hermit-like. As the years passed he taught me every skill he’d obtained; every weapon, every item, everything, all was crafted using whatever materials he had around’m. It would be impressive had it not been for the total obsession that came over him, it was hardly anything to admire anymore. I tried mastering every skill, thinkin’ he’d come around and start acting normal again if I made him proud or somethin’. Never seemed to work tho, so I started working hard for myself, to keep myself occupied and warm”. You mindlessly poked into the fire with a stick as you spoke, watching the embers glisten. “..When I was around thirteen I came down with an awful fever. My uncle had some remedies but the selection of herbs are limited in this environment as you can imagine. I was close to dyin’ to it , and even then he never thought to seek out a doctor or take the trip to buy me some medicine, just this once”, you paused, your brows knitting together at the memory. “ Somehow I lived, slowly getting back on my feet. At some point along the years after that I’d stopped bothering speaking to him at all, it wasn’t like I'd get any replies anyway. For five years I hardly spoke a word”.

“..Ay”, Javier let out sympathetically, brows furrowed.

“Yeah”, you huffed. “Surprised I could even talk still, after all that”.

“How’d you end up back south then?”, he asked curious. You let yourself settle even more in your spot, finally looking at him again.

“I must’ve been eighteen, close to nineteen, back in 1894, and I’d had just about enough of it all. It felt more like I was some sorta apprentice learning trade than a niece who’d lost her mother and needed her uncle. Uncle was never a cruel man, at least not with intent, but he was a distant one as you’ve probably gathered already”, you raised a brow. He hummed at the obvious statement, and gave you a soft nod. “I packed whatever I had, which wasn’t a lot, and made my way down the mountain and never turned back. Don’t really know what became of my uncle, if he’s still there, if he ever really wondered where i went… Back south I would use my skills to hunt food but other than that they weren’t really useful for much else outside of my uncle’s little bubble. Turned to stealin' and robbin’, at first by holding people at ‘gun-point’ using my bow”, you let out a small chuckle to which Javier huffed amused. “I know, not too frightening”.

“Ehh, I don’t know, chica, sounds scary enough”, he smirked, amused by the thought. 

“It worked well enough, at least it did its job until I managed to get an actual gun and teach myself to use it”, you continued, thinking back. “And the rest you know”, you added cleverly, giving him a nudge. 

“And the rest I know”, he repeated, looking back at you. 

You had come across the gang two years prior while running away from some local brawlers of the saloon in Armadillo . After stealing the grand pot of the town’s annual poker tournament, you had sent yourself running down the town’s avenue with a saddlebag of money slung over your shoulder. Unfortunately for you they had noticed sooner rather than later, and way too quickly were you being chased by at least six men hurling threats and curses your way. Rounding the corner you’d bumped straight into an unsuspecting Javier walking with Mac, who you later learned was in town scouting for leads. The pair had brought you back to camp after the commotion, where you only intended to heed Dutch’s invitation to stick around, for a few days. A few days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, until you just never left. After being on your own for really your entire life, you revelled in the closeness this gang seemed to share, too quickly settling in with the people you today consider your only family. This past week after the Blackwater fiasco has been hard on all of you, and you realised you’ve barely even taken the time to process it all, filling your days with endless distractions.

After some silence, Javier opened his mouth as if to say something. However, you both turned your heads at the sound of snow shuffling behind you, and the low voices of Arthur and Charles making themselves known. “I’m gonna hitch Taima over here”, Charles told him calmly. His arms were curled up as close to his body as they could be while holding the reins. You could tell he was freezing. You hadn’t even noticed how the wind had picked back up again during your conversation with Javier, a chilly gust settling over you. 

“We brought some food back boys!”, Arthur announced loudly, before he noticed the two of you by the fire. He smiled and motioned over to the back of their horses, two decent sized deers stowed limp across them. Your face lit up. You could tell he was proud of his first proper hunting catch. 

“Nice”, you affirmed, getting up to your feet, and you noticed Javier doing the same. You suddenly remembered he was supposed to be on guard duty, and you couldn’t shake the guilty feeling from distracting him from his duties for so long.

“Hey, won’t you come help Charles with that deer, I really think he should rest that hand now”, Arthur asked you, Charles already shutting him down claiming to be fine. You glanced over at Javier who glanced right back at you. 

“I should take my rounds now, I’ll see you guys later”, he excused himself, reaching out to place a light hand on your shoulder for a lingering moment, as if to thank you for sharing, before turning and walking off. You watched him trudge his way towards the edge of the little town. Facing away, you shuffled through the snow over to Taima, stopping Charles from removing the deer.

“I don’t wanna hear it Charles”, you interrupted him before he could even start protesting, hoisting the animal across your shoulder. It was heavy but considering your knack for hunting this action was nothing new. Charles reluctantly stopped insisting and instead simply followed the two of you to Pearson’s shed. 

“Oh, and thank you, for teaching me how to use the bow properly”, Arthur told him once he caught up.

“I only showed you a little, takes a lifetime of practice to master”

Reaching the table you put the deer down, taking a breath. Once Arthur put his down you nudged him playfully. “I only wish you’d let me take you huntin’ earlier when I’ve asked you to, you’ve always been so negative to it”. He let out a huff of a laugh, dragging out the first word. “Yeahh, I guess I have been, haven’t I. I’ve been missing out, clearly”. He looked down at today’s catch. 

When Pearson appeared behind him, going on about techniques of skinning the deers and whatnot, you snuck away.

The gust really had picked up, and you brought the scarf closer around your face with your hands. Glancing over to the guard post you noticed Javier still hadn’t made his way back from the rounds. You decided you’d stay out of his way the rest of his guard shift and went on your way to gather all the firewood you’d left neglected in the snow previously.

~

“Come on Dutch”, you sighed frustrated. The long awaited thaw had finally settled and the conditions were no longer bitingly cold, which only meant the time had come for you to take a shot at the train job the O'driscoll's so kindly, and unwillingly, had tipped you of. A train job Dutch seemed to have written you completely off of, despite robberies being one of your specialties. He didn’t bat an eye as he continued to prep the Count for the trip, though he let out a softer sigh countering yours. Finally he turned to face you.

“Listen, kid, I need someone reliable back here with the others”

“There’s plenty of them who can hold their own and you know it. We’ll be back before whoever’s on guard duty’ll even get cold”, you continued, tone as convincingly as you could muster. It wasn’t really like you to voice much opinion on whether or not he put you on a job, usually he’d count you in on plenty and you trusted his intuition as to who was needed, however this past week he’d been putting you aside when it came to anything outside of camp. You feared your overdrive with the chores had left him forgetting you didn’t join them all that time ago solely to stay back, minding and tending the camp. 

Dutch seemed to give it a thorough thought, looking over at the rest of the men prepping before exhaling firmly. The crease between his brows smoothed.  “Ah why the hell not, an extra pair of hands won’t hurt”. He gave you a quick, singular pat on your shoulder, and you beamed pleased with his decision. “You join Bill and keep an eye out for any trouble while he’s setting up the explosives. The rest of us will join you later”, he called out after you as you’d already set off to your trusty mare, body aching to get back in action. 

“Sure thing, Dutch!”. Your guns were already prepped and ready, as they had been every day since you came to this godforsaken place. You spotted Bill by the outskirts of town, seemingly waiting for you. Untethering your horse, you prepared to get up, but not before the most vexing voice you know made itself known. 

“So the camp maid’s joining us, huh”. There was no need to even look to know the annoying smirk Micah had plastered on his face. It was an audible expression, and it made you tense up. 

Micah had always been a nuisance to you. To everyone, really. He had a backwards view on most things, and if it wasn’t about the colour of someone's skin, it was about gender. Or more specifically his opinion of you having such active roles in the gang’s activities. The number of pleasant conversations involving him in all of the past six months he’s been riding with you were something you could count on a mere half a hand. If it was up to anyone else he’d be long gone, but Dutch seemed to see something in him. What that was you don’t think you’d ever understand. “Don’t want a pretty little thing like you getting all messed up, is there not some laundry needin’ to be tended to? ”. He was looming so close behind you that you could feel his breath gracing your exposed ear. Fighting an internal battle, you composed yourself as you put a foot in the stirrup, hoisting yourself up. 

“No, but-”, you swung a foot firmly into the side of your horse, letting the motion flow back out harshly to where the metal stirrup hit him square in the face. He groaned as he reached for his nose, just a little blood trickling down his chin to land on his coat in tiny droplet patterns. Your horse started moving “-now there might be”, you called out behind you, tone as light and carefree as feathers, though making no effort hiding your amused grin hearing his muffled murmurs of pain. Ahead, you could hear Bill impatiently urge you to hurry along, and you reached him promptly. “I’m here, I’m here”, you dismissed his restlessness. The two of you wasted no time heading off, descending the mountain all while he gave you a rundown of what’s what. It was all pretty simple really, and it didn’t require much elaboration on his end for you to have a clear overview of it all. 

The train wouldn’t be of the passenger-kind, which meant cargo and guards with guns. You wondered just what you’d find in there, but to be that guarded it simply had to be valuable enough to be worth checking out, right? Bill kept on talking about some point of the plan he’d already explained, so you found your mind wandering off as you eyed the scenery around you. A light layer of snow was still adorning the ground, however a significant increase in temperature had you letting out a relaxed breath. It wasn’t long before spots of green grass would appear in the midst of the white powdery snow, and the sight alone was enough to fill you with relief. 

It was the same kind of relief you felt leaving the mountain behind all those years ago. The looming sense of uncertainty of what was to come, however, laced through and through with a sense of hope and solace in the promise of warmer and richer days ahead. Back when everything went wrong in Blackwater, you had suggested taking the trip up towards the mountains, assuring Dutch you knew the terrain well. The treacherous environment would serve you well in disappearing with little trace, almost too well it turned out in the end. The unexpected storm got the better of you all, and you could only thank whatever higher power out there that you scraped by just enough to make it through that blizzard. You couldn’t help the creeping feeling you felt on your way up the mountain back then, knowing Dormin Crest and your uncle was nothing but a short ride away. It’s been looming in the back of your mind every waking moment you spent at Colter. Was your uncle still there? Could you even face him after all these years? It was a gnawing feeling, and in afterthought you suspected your constant need for distractions through chores were as much a result of your conflictions about seeing him or not, as it was a ploy to keep warm. 

“We should leave the horses here in the trees, they won’t get spotted from the tracks”. Bill’s voice finally protruded your train of thought, and you realised you’d reached your destination. Moving the horses to the trees behind some rocks, Bill started setting up. The area was calm, not a sound except some birds chirping from time to time. You settled on a low rock, hand resting on your holster keeping your eyes peeled for any unwanted movement. Time passed without much happening.

“Need any help?”

Bill grunted his answer, too concentrated to look away from the dynamites he was struggling slightly to attach. “Sure, unspool the wire over to that detonator by the rocks. Don’t bother with the attachment, I'll handle it”. You shrugged and did as he said, and as if they were called on you heard hooves trampling from your right, six figures appearing on top a ridge. Bill met you by the rocks. “You regroup with them, I got it from here”, he shooed you away, and you whistled for your horse.

“What’s going on? Everything in order?”, Dutch inquired as soon as you were close enough.

“He says he’s got it all under control”. You settled your horse in between Javier and Arthur, the former eyeing you keenly as you appeared next to him before looking back at Bill fumbling with the attachment. 

“I guess we’ll soon find out”

“Any trouble?”. Dutch was currently looking through his binoculars.

“No, none, it’s been real quiet. I don’t think we’ll have much trouble as long as we keep it brief”, you answered confidently, leaning back, reaching for your bandana tied to one of your saddlebags. 

“Good. Now you stick by Charles and keep lookout for any outriders. I’ll take out the engineer while Lenny and Javier go deal with guards upfront and Arthur and Micah head straight for Cornwall’s private car”. He announced your last name followed by a loud “gentlemen”, putting away his binoculars. “- train should be here any minute now, cover your faces and keep your eyes and wits sharp. We don’t want no more trouble”. You had some trouble getting a proper hold of your bandana from the angle you were sitting, and before you could move to adjust yourself, Javier had leaned over to untie it, offering it to you.

“Thanks”, you said lowly, and he gave you a quick nod as you took it off his hand. 

A low rumbling of the tracks alerted the lot of you, and you wordlessly covered your face up to your nose, eyes peeled on the vibrating railroad. “It’s time”. Dutch’s voice was low, foreboding. “Good luck, all of you. You all know what to do”. The train rounded the corner, Bill got into position. You all expectantly awaited the ear deafening blast, yet it never came. In the distance you could hear Bill curse desperately.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me”. The sheer frustration in Dutch’s voice was palpable, and groans could be heard from all around you.

“Where did you find that moron?”, Arthur grumbled loudly, the train passing by fast. 

“She said it was fine”

“Hey, that's what he told me”, you persisted, only Javier’s urgent voice interrupting you. 

“Well come on!”

Him and Lenny were already off their horses, motioning for Arthur to follow them towards the other end of the tunnel. The backend of the train had already disappeared through the  underpass, and the rest of you wasted no time getting a move on. Previous agreements were thrown out the window in an instant as you descended the hill to follow the train. Once at the end of the tunnel you spotted Javier hoisting himself up from the ground in a clumsily manner. It was clear he had a harsh fall. 

“Javier!”. His gaze snapped over in your direction upon the call of his name, and you reached out an arm once you closed in on him. Reaching his minorly injured arm out for you he swiftly got up on the back of your horse with a hiss. A series of foreign curses lowly rang out from behind you. You kept up the pace, determined to catch up with the train.

“You okay?”, you asked him over the loud clomping of the hooves hitting the metal tracks. 

“I’m fine”, he answered curtly, clearly annoyed he didn’t stick the landing. “ .. mierda ”, he once again hissed under his breath while shaking his arm lightly, as to will the pain of the fall away. 

The train was already out of sight, and you could only pray Arthur and Lenny managed to stop it before it slipped even further away from your reach. “What’s taking them so long?”, Javier asked, mirroring your own thoughts. His grip on your waist tightened a little as he shifted in his seat to try and get a better look ahead.     

Finally, distant gunshots and a loud screeching implied they’d reached the engineering car, and you immediately picked up the pace. From the sounds of it, there were quite a number of guards, and you simply couldn’t reach the pair quick enough. 

The train came to view once more and you reached for your revolver, Javier shuffling to do the same. By the time you caught up, Arthur and Lenny had dealt with most of them, but there were still some stragglers. With the rest of you there you made quick work of them.

“Arthur, get over here!”, Dutch called out, and the pair emerged from the shadows of the night. Javier let go of your waist as he slid down from your horse, and you followed him with a light thud of your feet against the ground. The sudden failure to detonate the explosives had dragged out the time this job was supposed to take immensely, darkness engulfing you as the sun had set. “Are you two alright?”

“Yes, let’s just get the money and go”. The discontent was clear in his voice as he walked up to Dutch, facing the door of Cornwall’s private cart. You moved over to Lenny, your expression a silent question asking if he was fine. He gave you a reassuring nod, before you both turned your focus back on Dutch upfront. 

“We got some fellers holed up in this last car”

“Ahh, shit”, Arhtur muttered, annoyed that you couldn’t just simply head in and get out already. You started getting restless too, nothing about this job had gone the way any of you expected. 

“What are you boys planning on doing in there?”, Dutch asked loudly, firmly announcing your presence, moving in closer. You took a firm hold of your guns, the lot of you following his lead. “Listen to me, we don’t want to kill any of ya.. Or rather any more of ya ”, he added, too low for the men inside the car to hear, eliciting some low and amused laughs from the men around you. You let out a light huff. “I give you my word, but trust me… we will''

Not even a split second after, someone shouted from inside the cart. 

“We work for Leviticus Cornwall!”

“Come on, boys”

“We’ve got our orders!”

“Okay, you asked for it”. Dutch motioned for you to draw your guns. The man kept up resisting as Dutch counted down. Once the countdown came to an end the car had gone silent. Dutch turned to face you, in quite the theatrical manner. “Seems our friends have gone deaf. Let’s wake them up a little!”

The sound of gunfires and bullets hitting metal rang out repeatedly, enough to deafen any other sound a mile away. The side of the car was peppered with holes. Still the men refused to exit, and Dutch ordered you to hold your fire. 

“This is getting ridiculous, let's just blow our way in”, you uttered, and Dutch looked to Bill. “Mr. Williamson, give our lady here some dynamite”. Bill fished some explosives out of his pack, and you made a swift way to the doors. Not wanting to waste any more time, you attached the dynamites and lit the fuse. “I’d move away from the wall if i were you”, you hurriedly warned the men inside before regrouping with the others. Only a mere second after you reached Javier and Charles standing on the far left side could you feel the force of the blow, and the doors were no more. One after the other, three men exited the car. 

“Now, we don’t wanna kill you , we just wanna rob your boss. Mr. Morgan, Summers and Bell, go check out the car”. Dutch turned to you and Charles, motioning towards the three men now sat by a rock with their hands in the air. “Make sure they behave”. Arthur made swift work searching the place while you kept your revolver aimed at the Cornwall boys. 

“You got something Arthur?”

“Yeah, some bonds”, he presented Dutch with his finds, a stack of notes clutched in his hands. “You reckon they’ll be worth something?”. Dutch looked at the papers with keen eyes, slow nods turning quicker as he seemed pleased with the content of them.

“Sure, these are bearer bonds. I bet we can sell these pretty easily. I'll get Hosea to take a look, good work everyone”, he claimed your attention once more. “Now Arthur, you deal with these gentlemen however you see fit and start that train, the rest of you, split up and head back to camp”. 

You lowered your gun, placing it back in your holster once you saw Arthur making his way to you. The group was already dispersing. Your name was called softly by the time you made it to your horse, and you turned to meet a pair of brown eyes. 

“Javier?”

“Boaz never followed and now he can’t hear my whistle, you think you could give me a ride back the way we came?”. He seemed slightly hesitant to ask you for the favour, but you only smiled. 

“Course, hop on”. He wasted no time, effortlessly getting back atop the rear of your horse. 

The ride was as silent as the night that surrounded you, and you kept a comfortable pace while keeping your eyes peeled for any unwelcome individuals who might’ve heard the ruckus the lot of you just caused. Only the occasional sharp whistle could be heard whenever Javier tried to call his horse. It usually was either quiet or the complete opposite with you and Javier. The pair of you could spend a whole evening next to each other without exchanging many words, and it would feel as natural as breathing. Yet other nights you’d spend them unable to shut up, it was always either or with you two, and you found relief in how easy it was to be around him. A fair number of trees and rocks passed you by before Javier seemingly decided to break the peace. 

“Thanks for getting me back there by the way”. His voice was low, and the close proximity caused it to tickle your ear. “...and for taking me back now”, he added in a sigh, one that made it clear he felt like a nuisance to you at the moment. The man never could stand being an inconvenience. You quickly waved it off.

“No need to thank me for that, Javier”, you huffed amused. “How’re you feeling by the way?”, you turned your head slightly, as if to look at him. He only shrugged, moving his limbs to assess the damage.

“It still aches como el infierno , but I’m managing”. You found it endearing how he seemed to switch over to Spanish a lot more often around you. Maybe he did so because you were one of the few who cared enough to pick up a phrase or two from time to time. You didn’t always understand, but you were starting to. At the very least if it was words he repeated often. “Worst thing ‘bout it was how stupid it looked tho”. You could practically hear his coy smile on his voice, and you couldn’t suppress your laugh. 

“Oh don’t worry about that, at least you didn’t screw up the explosives, huh?”. Javier chuckled at that, shaking his head.

“ Ay Bill.. ese tonto ”, he muttered in dark amusement to himself. 

He brought his fingers to his lips once more, a high pitch whistle cutting through the air. Finally you heard a familiar neighing of a horse, followed by its trampling hooves. Pulling your reins you came to a halt, and Javier jumped down to meet Boaz halfway. “ Eres un chico sordo, ¿eh? ”, he said while giving him some gentle rubs on his muzzle. You watched them keenly, leaning forward to rest your arms and cheek against the neck of your horse while he moved to get atop him. Few you’ve met have quite the bond with their horse as Javier has with his Boaz. Javier was eyeing your tired demeanour as he grabbed a hold of his reins. Your fond gaze observing them had stiffened as exhaustion overtook you. He moved closer to you, and the motion snapped you out of the stare you had been unknowingly holding. 

“Come on, somnolienta , let’s head back”, he gently nudged you with a tender smirk.

Chapter Text

~Armadillo, New Austin, 1897~

“Get back here!”. You didn’t even spare a glance towards the rowdy voices calling out for you as you sprinted, inhaling way too much of the desert dust covering the ground through your quick gasps for air. It was an especially hot day, sun scorching down mercilessly onto the little town of Armadillo. 

You hadn’t originally planned on stopping by this little desert hamlet, however when you caught wind of the annual poker game happening around this time from a few drunken fools in Tumbleweed you were too tempted to let the chance pass you by. 

Normal poker nights weren’t much buzz when it came to prize pools, howbeit this annual tournament brought in gamblers from several surrounding counties and was one of Armadillo’s biggest attractions. The prize pot was said to be quite notable.

Getting to the prize money was an easy enough feat. Surveying the town a few days in advance, you had noted that they would store it in a safe in a shack separated from the saloon itself. You only had to wait patiently until the games were well underway, and the patrons had started taking to their drinks to drown their losses. It gave you the perfect window to sneak up on the shack unnoticed, quickly knocking out the single guard posted outside. Throughout the past years you’d gotten a knack for cracking safes, and almost too easy you opened it, feasting your eyes on the stacks of banknotes so temptingly placed inside. There had to be at least close to six hundred dollars, if not more. Quickly filling up your saddlebag, you hurried back out the door. 

It had gone smoothly. Too smoothly.

A drunken slurring alerted you as you stepped foot outside, turning your head to meet the hazy, and now increasingly angry, eyes of a man supporting himself on the saloon porch. “Hey, you”, he pointed weakly, squinted eyes darting between you and the shack you just exited. You cursed under your breath and didn’t waste another second hearing him out, already scurrying off. Behind you he called for people inside the establishment, and it wasn’t long before several male growles could be heard along with the stomping of their boots against the dusty road.

Your plans of running off towards the train track were ruined the second you spotted some deputies in the distance turning around once they noticed the commotion. Luckily they were too far away to get a good look at you. Assessing your surroundings, you opted for the next best thing; embark on a full sprint down through the town promenade. 

You panted as the heat started getting to you. Despite spending the past four years further south than you’d been all your life previously, the western desert was no joke. You took a moment to spare your pursuers a glance once you reached the funeral home building. Though determined, the men’s hazed minds from their one too many drinks affected their abilities to run efficiently, and you were easily half the town ahead of them. You had one thing going for you at least. 

Accelerating, you took a sharp left turn, paying more mind to the ones following you than any potential pedestrians around the corner. A sudden force knocked the wind right out of you as you crashed into something, hard. The impact was so harsh you fell straight to the ground with a strained huff. Groaning, you instinctively reached for your throbbing head.

“¡AY,  idiota , mira por dónde vas!”

You blinked a few times in sheer confusion, seeking the source of the berating, foreign voice. A man slowly getting up into a sitting position groaned harshly as his hand mirrored your motion, protectively resting against his forehead while his eyes were still shut closed. Blinking a few times more trying to get rid of the haze, your eyes quickly looked from the man you knocked over to another man towering above you both. He eyed you shocked, before a cheeky cackle left his mouth. 

“Shit, Javier, I didn’t realise the ladies literally throw themselves at ya!”, he teased in a flagrant tone. With this the eyes of the dark haired man, who you now learned was named Javier, shot open. He looked up at the blonde man in mild annoyance, before finally sparing a glance at you and your cowering form still on the ground next to him. His gaze moved from your eyes to the saddlebag with clips of money now slightly spilling out of it, landing lastly at your pistol that had flopped right out of your holster and currently rested next to him in the dust. You always hated that flimsy holster of yours. 

Upon meeting your eyes once more, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but he was quickly cut off by the roars of the brawlers now sounding closer than ever. 

“Where’s that little bitch run off to?!”

The two men traded quick glances, unspoken words exchanged so fast you couldn’t even catch it if you tried. Before you could even react yourself, you were being whisked off of the ground and into a nearby alleyway, Javier pulling you along by your wrist. The tall blonde had grabbed your saddlebag, and before you could utter any sort of protest, Javier put his index finger to his lips, urging your silence. Your lips sealed shut just as quick as they’d opened, and you held your breath in anticipation as your pursuers passed the alley. Though threatening, the men didn’t really excel in observational skills, clueless of the three of you hugging the exterior walls of the buildings in complete silence. Keen ears listened out for their footsteps, and you released the breath you’d been holding once you couldn’t hear them anymore. The men’s shoulders lowered almost simultaneously, seeming to relax. 

The silence lingered a few moments more before a low rumble of a laugh could be heard from the blonde. He turned to look at you with an amused smirk. “A little troublemaker, ain’t ya?”. You suddenly became all too aware of the fact that your saddlebag was flung across his shoulder now, and you had no clue as to what his intentions with it now were. 

Javier seemed to notice your sudden edge, and nudged the blonde lightly. “Ay, relax Mac and give her the bag”. You immediately took note of his accent. You fairly often came across Mexicans in these parts, however mostly just in swift passing. Mac looked over at him prolongedly before rolling his eyes, handing you the bag. 

“I wasn’t gonna keep it”, he raised his arms slightly in feigned surrender, shooting you another smirk. Your tightened hold on the bag relaxed a little at that. Not realising how long you’d been eyeing the pair, Javier let out a small, amused huff from his nose. 

“Did you get your speech knocked out of you as well, señorita?”. It was as if you finally snapped out of your haze. Your eyes found his, a playful smile tugging on your lips.

“No, just trying to decide if I best shoot y’all or not”. They both snickered at that.

“Would be hard to do without a gun, eh chica?”, Javier said cheekily, and your eyes widened slightly as he presented your pistol in his hand, giving it a skilled little spin before properly handing it to you. Swiftly you holstered it.

“..Thank you”

“Ahh, don’t thank us quite yet sweetheart, seems you’ve still got some friends left”, Mac motioned over to the other end of the alley, a pair of deputies looking around by the buildings across the road. 

“You got someplace you can go?”, Javier asked you hushed, eyes keen.

“Somewhere that’s not some dusty old desert road? No I do not”, you said earnestly, trying to think of a way out of there. You missed another exchange of glances between the men, Mac clearing his throat in a manner that made you turn your head to face him.

“We know a place you can come and lay low for a bit”. You quirked a brow, sceptic at his proposition. You might’ve lived most of your life isolated from other people, but that didn’t mean you were naive to the possible danger of strangers.

“What kind of place?”

Mac snorted.

“Relax, just a camp. You can leave whenever you want, it’s up to you”, he shrugged as if to act casual, yet in his eyes you noted a silent keenness for you to follow. You thought about it for a few moments, before reluctantly nodding.

“Okay I’ll come with”. They both smiled at your decision, focus now shifting to your surroundings. 

“You got a horse?”

“Yeah, tho I hitched her right outside of town towards Hanging Rock”

“Why outside of town?”, Mac raised a brow.

“Cause I was trying to sneak in and out undetected, and leaving my horse seemed a little less conspicuous”

“And how’d that work out for ya?”. He looked amused.

“Oh, shut up”, you smacked him lightly in his arm, a sheepish smile on your face. While Mac seemed more preoccupied with teasing your unfortunate execution of your little robbery, Javier on the other hand had already worked out an escape plan. Without warning he swiftly removed his poncho, draping it across your shoulders, before removing his bowler hat and placing it atop your head. The poncho covered the little saddlebag still resting over your shoulder. Clever , you thought to yourself.

“Hide your hair”, he instructed, and you promptly stuffed as much of it as you could into the hat. “We’ll walk over to our horses just around the corner. If we keep our cool we should stay undetected”

And he was right. While the whole town was on the lookout for a woman matching your hair colour and clothing description, they turned a blind eye to the three seemingly normal men making their way to the hitching posts. Internally you thanked yourself for opting to wear pants instead of your skirt that morning. Keeping your head down, you walked in between your unexpected partners in crime. You wondered to yourself how Javier was able to wear his poncho in this blazing sun, the extra layer making you feel like someone just placed you next to a heating boiler. He probably didn’t wear it all the way down like you now had to to hide the bag.

“Our horses are right this way”

Javier got atop his horse first, swiftly offering an arm out to you. You felt a sudden reluctance stopping you from taking his hand. Could you really trust them to take you where they said they would? “Come on, niña mona , we need to go”, he encouraged you. Taking a breath you grabbed his hand, letting him help you atop the back. 

They immediately headed off towards Hanging Rock, and not long after you spotted your horse idly munching on some desert grass, right where you left her earlier. It was far enough to where she wouldn’t be spotted from town, but close enough to reach rather quickly, even on foot. Slowing down to a halt, you slid yourself off of Javier’s steed, walking over to quickly ascend your own. 

“What is your name, señorita?”

You offered them your name with a smile as you climbed atop your horse, and in return they introduced themselves again, properly this time.

“Javier Escuella”

“Mac Callander”

“A pleasure”, you pulled the rains, turning your horse to face them. 

Following their lead, the three of you resumed your travels away from Armadillo, moving west.

“Why are you guys even helping me?” you felt inclined to ask after some time had passed. They owed you no such grace.

“We got a code we live by, we shoot fellers as need shooting, save fellers as need saving, and feed 'em as need feeding”. You reflected on Javier’s words for a moment.

“Seems like quite the admirable philosophy”

Javier looked rather proud. “ Sí , I think so too. It’s something our jefe told us”.

“Also, let’s just say we’re in the same trade. At least from what I can tell”, Mac turned his head to eye you cleverly.

“You guys also rob then?”

“Oh, is that what you were doing?”, Mac shot you a playfully incredulous look, “It looked to me more like you were runnin’ unsuspecting people over”. Your jaw went slightly agape; the humour of this man. You couldn’t help but laugh astounded at his direct teasing. 

“Why yes actually, I was robbing. You gentlemen just caught me on an off day is all”, you retorted, the grin on your lips remaining as you shook your head at his comment. 

“Maybe we’ll get a proper demonstration sometime then, when your day is not off ”, Javier enunciated the last word, and you turned to meet a crooked smile.

“Hey, I got the money now, didn’t I?”, you huffed, before earnestly adding; “..but maybe you will”. His expression mirrored your own.

Some time passed in collective silence before you claimed Javier’s attention once more. “Clever idea, by the way”. He eyed you, a charmed look on his face. You reached up to remove his hat still on your head, your hair falling down from its hold and flailing free along with the motions of the breeze and the movements of the horse trotting. Riding close enough you handed him the hat, and he placed it back on himself with an appreciative bow of his head.

“I would’ve just shot my way out of there, but that’s just me”, you heard Mac say and you shot him an astonished look. 

“Ay dios”, Javier uttered in a tone that indicated that was quite a frequent statement from the blonde, ending with a short snicker. “Which is why we never send more than one hothead on jobs”, he added, shooting Mac a clever look. You giggled lightly, Mac just laughed it off. 

“And here I was thinking you guys were just worried about me”, he feigned hurt, and Javier tutted amused. 

You took particular note of the referral he made to several people, suddenly reminded of where you were heading. Or more so your lack of knowledge of where you were heading.

“What’s this camp y’all are taking me to?”

“We’re a good bunch of people… a gang if you will”, you looked at Mac intently. “-staying at this spot close to Rathskeller Fork, layin’ low for a while. Escuella and I were just out looking for some leads”, Mac looked back at you, ever the sly smirk present on his lips. “Tho it’s looking like you just swooped up the biggest lead we had”. He eyed the little saddlebag now hanging across your horse's neck in front of the saddlehorn. You smiled to yourself. Seems like you got to the money not a minute too soon.

“We just came in from Arizona”, Javier chimed in, his eyes squinting a bit as he scouted ahead. “Ah, here we are”. You followed his line of sight, spotting a huge half-cave like opening in the red cliffs some distance away from the tiny road you were on. Tents and other structures were installed across the lot, a little campfire area placed inside the half-cave, probably as a means of shade during the hours of the ruthless high-sun.

The camp bustled with life. Eyes scouring the area, you counted at least fifteen people, either conversing or doing their own thing.

Reaching the hitching posts a short walk away from the outer part of the campground, Mac swiftly slid down from his horse, stretching his arms with a tired sound. You remained in your saddle, eyes falling down to look at the saddlebag. “Hey”. The men looked at you. Opening the flap of the bag, you grabbed a fair amount and divided that equally. Gaze lifting back up, you reached your hands out towards each of them. “Have this”.

“ Ay, no , you don’t have to-”

“You guys helped me, it’s only fair”. They hesitated for a moment, Mac caving in first. 

“Why thank you, sweetheart”, he flashed you a smile, before turning his gaze towards camp. “I’ll go fetch the boss. He’ll be sure to love your generosity”, he winked. “Dutch!”, Mac called out loudly, immediately walking off to find the man and introduce him to you.

Watching him walk away, you realised the other half of the money was still sitting pretty in the palm of your left hand, and you eyed Javier expectantly. Upon seeing him still act reluctant, your expression softened, your tone of voice matching it. “I insist, now take it”.

Finally he did as told, and pleased you jumped down from your saddle with a slight wobble to your feet once they hit the dusty ground. It had been a long ride.

You stayed behind by the hitchpost, suddenly kind of nervous upon seeing the many faces spread across the place. Javier got down from his horse, walking over to you. Once again, he seemed to pick up on your hesitations. 

“Don’t worry, they’re all great people. Tho I’d say watch out for Bill when he gets drunk and starts singing… Bad business”, he made a face of discomfort as he pointed to a scruffy man walking around with a bottle in his hand, the corners of his lips quirking into a smile upon hearing you snicker softly at his comment. You relaxed slightly.

Carefully, you removed his poncho that still draped over your shoulders, handing it to him. “Sorry for knocking you over”, you winced slightly with an apologetic smile. He only laughed at that.

“Don’t worry about it, looked like you knocked yourself just as good”. He was right about that, a faint throb still very much present in your skull. Javier was about to rejoin the members of the camp, some of whom were stealing curious glances your way as they finally noticed the stranger, but he stopped upon hearing you call his name.

“Thank you for helping me back there… And now”, you said sincerely. 

“Anytime, preciosa ”

~

“Mr. Morgan-”. Miss Grimshaw loudly asking Arthur of your whereabouts from across the town had Javier sharpen his senses, and impulsively his eyes wandered along the snowy landscape. It was late afternoon at Colter, the low sun reflecting off the white layer. Arthur scratched the side of his beard, trying to remember when he’d seen you last. “Can’t say I've seen her for some time”. 

“I see, well if you do, you tell her to come find me. I got some chores needin’ taken care of before we head off tomorrow and she’s the most capable hands around these days”, her sentence ending in an irked tone, eyes darting towards the cabin where most of the girls stayed put nowadays. She left him at that after he assured her he would. Arthur slowly turned to scan the area, but seemed to come to the same conclusion as Javier. You weren’t around. 

“Javier!”. He snapped his eyes over at Arthur, his arm raised as to hail him down while he moved towards where Javier was idly keeping watch by the guard post. “You seen her lately?”. 

“No…”, he answered earnestly, eyes once again darting across the area. “But Lenny might’ve, he had the morning post”. Arthur bid him a thanks and a firm pat on his shoulder before walking off to track Lenny down inside the hut. Straightening his posture as if to sharpen his senses he took yet another look around. It was usual for you to roam about on your own whims, usually doing some chores or whatnot, but you always turned up before anyone could think twice about your whereabouts. He couldn’t even recall the last time you’d been away for long enough to make people worried. The door behind him suddenly swung open and Lenny’s voice calling out startled him. Arthur walked out firmly with Lenny close in tow.

“She passed me on her horse this morning saying she would head out for a bit. My guess was huntin’ as usual, so I-I didn’t ask where”. He slightly flailed with his arms as he spoke.

Arthur sighed deeply, his hands resting on his hips and his head low. “I’d have thought so too, but she’s too proficient to be taking this long”. Lenny’s expression turned from auspicious to slightly desperate, trying to think of whatever else you could be doing leaving camp. Javier also started backtracking in his mind, trying to recall if you’d said anything about the area around Colter other than its hunting qualities.

‘This little shack on a mountaintop by Lake Isabella’. Your voice rang out in his head, and he pictured the way you’d been sitting, deep in thought poking into the fire with the stick. Could you have decided to go back there?

“I think I know somewhere she might’ve gone”. Both Arthur and Lenny looked at him expectantly. Javier swiftly handed the guard rifle to Lenny. “You take over, I'll go look”, he said matter of factly. 

“You need any help?”

“No, no I’ll be fine, it’s not too far”, he assured Arthur while hoisting himself atop Boaz, who whined in small protest, not too keen on heading back out into the snow. “ Perdoname, cuate ”, he said lowly and gave him an apologetic pat on his neck. 

“Okay sure, you be careful now”. Javier waved off his concerned warning with a casual nod. He knew you were more than equipped to get around on your own in these surroundings, and if he was right about where you’d gone off to he wasn’t too worried about your physical safety at least. It was the thought of not finding you there that gnawed sorely in the back of his mind. If that was the case, there would be grounds to be worried. He wished to find you sooner rather than later to get rid of the sudden edge that currently plagued the three men.

“Always am, brother”

(~A little earlier~)

You deliberately hadn’t mentioned where you were going or what you were doing to Lenny who had spotted you leaving the little run-down mining town during the morning hours. It wasn’t that you were trying to be secretive, it was more so the fact that you weren’t even sure you’d make it there before your nerves made you retreat straight back to camp. 

“You know where to go, don’t you girl”, you praised your mare, steadying your voice. You barely had to pay attention as she knew the paths back to the shack by heart just as well as you did. It was seemingly a good thing she fared so well on autopilot as you kept getting distracted by your own thoughts. Would he even let you in? What should you say to him? “Who am I kiddin’”, you muttered to yourself. Unless some unknown miracle had happened these past five years it’s not like he’d respond anyway. There’s always hoping, you suppose. 

In your internal confliction you hadn’t noticed your horse coming to a halt, and looking up your breath hitched as you took in the familiar sight. 

Dormin Crest.

Carefully you slid off the saddle, hitching her to a nearby tree as you mustered every bit of courage you owned. The shack seemed slightly more run-down than you could remember it being, lacking the maintenance your uncle usually made sure to apply every once in a while. You embraced your horse for support, her warmth comforting you. A deep inhale and exhale filled you with the confidence you needed to slide your arms off of your mare and walk up to the door.

A careful knock.

No answer.

“Uncle”, your unsteady voice called. You cleared your throat, trying again. “Uncle Benjamin”, voice more distinct this time. Not even an indication of movement could be heard from the inside. Waiting a moment more, you grabbed the handle, pulling it towards yourself. It fought against you, stuck like it hadn’t been opened in a while. Yanking harder it snapped out of its position, and you finally came face to face with the familiar sight of your childhood home. Little had changed. There were still two chairs by the little table, and your thin mattress by the foot of his bed still resided just as you’d left it five years ago. The space was so small, it took you less than a second to note that your uncle wasn’t in here.

Your eyes moved to the only difference you could spot, which was sheets of paper pinned to the wooden walls. Walking closer you quickly recognised your handwriting. They were all random notes you’d written throughout the years, some as mundane as a to-do list of things you needed to get done before the height of winter settled over the land. Your brows furrowed as you wondered why he would nail these to the walls. “Uncle!”, you called out once more while turning on your heels. He must be somewhere close, if his routine had stayed the same he might be out hunting… Or fishing? It was a calm day out, no biting wind and no clouds for miles. 

There were no tracks other than the ones you and your horse had made getting up here. Other than that the snow surrounding the shack was left untouched. You walked over to a small top by the shack overlooking the river snaking down the mountain below. Pulling out your binoculars you looked along the water’s edge, not spotting him at any of his normal fishing spots. Perplexed, you lowered the binoculars before placing them back in your satchel. 

Retracing your steps, you decided to head for the other lookout spot a little way behind and up from the shack. It had a great overview of the valley below, as well as the whole of lake Isabella. Once ascending the small hill, you lifted your arm to shield your eyes from the sun. You were high up now, scanning the area when your eyes finally located him. 

“Uncle!”

Facing away from you, just the slightest bit down from where you were standing, he sat deep in the snow, watching over the valley below. He didn’t move a single muscle, and you frowned. Could he not hear you? Trudging through the abysmal powdery layer, you finally reached him.

“Uncle, I’m-”

Your voice faltered as you processed the sight in front of you. Upon facing him you noted his icy skin and stiffened expression. Eyes frozen into an eternal stare over the landscape below. His hands were tightly gripping his bow, next to him a burnt out oil lamp rested. His hair and long unkept beard was adorned with ice and snow. Falling to your knees, you reached out with a shaky hand. You flinched upon touching the almost purple skin of his hand as it was like touching pure ice. 

Swallowing thickly, tears pressed threateningly on the back of your eyes, but your mind was too confused to let them fall. Why would he ever stay out here long enough to freeze? If you knew one thing it was that he knew when it was time to turn back, no matter where he was in these mountains.  But here he was, sitting with his legs crossed, overlooking the valley where the main roads through the mountain pass intertwined and passed. Frozen solid… Dead .

The tears trickled freely now, the salty streaks running cold against your cheek. Instinctively you wrapped your hands around his as if to warm him, but even in your shocked state you knew he’d been dead for a long while. You squeezed your eyes shut, guilt flaring up in your chest at the likely possibility that he sat here by the lookout day after day, in hopes of spotting you down in the valley. Forever waiting for your return. Your head dropped down to your hands as you cried. You felt nauseous, regretting the way you left him without as much as a word of where you were heading. Disgusted by your past actions. ‘ But I didn’t think he cared ’, a small voice in the corner of your mind tried to soothe you. It did nothing to rid you of the lump in your throat as you dared look back up at his stiffened face. 

You stayed there a while, sitting next to him with your knees tucked close to your chest, arms tightly holding yourself together. The tears had stilled, the remnants of them leaving icy traces on your face. The sun had moved, and the late afternoon cast an orange hue over the white scenery. 

You took a deep breath, knowing what had to be done. Beneath the snow were only mountains and rocks, there was no way for you to dig into the ground. 

Hoisting yourself back up to your feet, you walked back to the shack and got the axe. It was in the same place it's always been. Cutting down branches and smaller logs, you gathered as much burning wood as you could into a big pile. Once you deemed it enough, you braced yourself walking back to the overlook, hesitating a second once you laid eyes on him again. He looked so fragile, and you felt scared to touch him. Like he would break the second you took a hold of him. Fighting the stinging of warm tears, you crouched down.

“I’m sorry”

Carefully you embraced him, pulling him along as gently as you could back to his beloved Dormin Crest. The pile of wood looked uncomfortable, and you went inside to grab your thin mattress and placed it on top. It wasn’t like it would matter much, but in the haze of it all, you made excuses for your irrational actions. 

Your uncle was now resting against the cushion, and next to him you placed his bow and his hunting hat. Some things you knew he cherished. Lastly you included a little drawing you’d made him the first year you came to live with him, that he had nailed to the wall along with your other notes after your disappearance. With a heavy heart and tear-stained cheeks, you set the pile alight, watching it turn ablaze a few steps back. Once again you softly fell down to your knees, eyes unable to look away from the warm, orange flames engulfing him. 

~

Javier had quickly located the traces of your horse in the powdery snow. Luckily for him the lack of wind and falling snow preserved the tracks, even though it’s been half a day since you passed through this way.

Boaz skillfully jumped across the small river separating a mountaintop from the rest of the snowy valley, and he kept a keen eye on the tracks leading up a slightly steep hill. Further down to his left he could see Lake Isabella, and judging by the smoke rising up to the sky further up above him he concluded they must be close.

The sun was close to setting, and a shadowy layer started casting itself over the mountain. Stars were slowly appearing in the sky one after the other. Finally climbing the hill, Javier first locked eyes on a little shack, however they quickly averted to look at a burning pile of dying embers. 

He called your name warily but soft once he saw you kneeling in the snow in front of it. Tiredly, you turned your head to meet his gaze, and he could just about make out your expression in the dark. Brows furrowed, he slid down from his saddle urgently, cautiously making his way over to you. He crouched down by your side, his gaze examining, and he knew you could read the question on his mind. 

Your gaze faltered, returning to the dying embers. You just couldn’t bring yourself to say it. Saying it out loud would make it more real. Make the guilt you now carry, knowing your actions caused his untimely demise, into a reality. You felt too cowardly to face it. Too cowardly to let Javier know. You barely registered his hand softly running up and down your back. His eyes never left your face, and his brows stayed furrowed. Though his confusion had fused into a look of sadness. A look of sympathy. The comfort his gentle hand gave you felt almost too overwhelming, and your heart welled. 

“He’s gone”, was all your weak voice could muster in a feeble attempt to offer some clarification. Your tears had long run dry, and your eyes were red and sore. Javier reached out his other arm to embrace you when he felt your head fall to rest on his shoulder. 

“ Oh dulce niña ”, he spoke softly. 

You stayed like that a while longer, until the embers finally died out, no longer emitting warmth, and the cold evening sent a chill through you. Javier was the first to break the silence. 

“Preciosa, we should get you back now”. His tone was firm, yet gentle, and you didn’t protest when he helped you back up to your feet. He started leading you towards Boaz, but you halted in your tracks.

“Wait”. He looked back at you with a quirked brow. Softly you retracted your arm from his grasp, and you walked over to the burnt pile. Behind you Javier uttered small protests, gently urging you to join him back to Colter. Ignoring his wishes for now, you grabbed a basket from the shack to collect the ashes. 

Javier promptly followed you once he saw you follow a trail leading behind the house and up a small hill. Despite not having a verbal confirmation, you always knew your uncle liked that spot overlooking the valley, and now standing here with his ashes in hand you found comfort in it being the last thing he saw. His forever resting place. 

Observing from further back, Javier silently watched you release the ashes out across the mountaintop, the dust flowing gently in the slight breeze before falling down below. 

Quietly you walked back to him, leaving the basket behind. None of you said anything walking back to the horses, and you stayed just as quiet when you once again felt Javier’s hand taking a hold of yours, leading you both to Boaz after untethering your horse. Your self deprecating thoughts consumed you, Javier could tell. He insisted on taking you back on Boaz, and you were in no state to decline. 

Wrapping your arms around him, you buried your face into the soft fabric of his poncho, letting him take you back home.

Chapter Text

Horseshoe Overlook, your new home for the time being, was a stark contrast to the harsh and snowy conditions of Colter. Its tranquil mornings, with the sun rising over the rolling hills of the Heartlands, would cast warm, golden light across the landscape. It was a gentle place. More forgiving. 

Javier had kept a watchful eye on you from afar in camp if he wasn’t with you. After finding you at Dormin Crest he felt on edge. Like walking on eggshells seeing he couldn’t quite read your emotions the way he usually could. You were inwardly fighting a circumstance he'd never seen you in before. The first few following days it had been clear enough where your head was at though. You had barely spoken to anyone, keeping to yourself. It naturally raised a lot of questions amongst the other gang members, but you never answered any. 

Now however, days seemed just a little brighter. For you, but also everyone else in camp. The warmer and greener environment did miracles to the morale. Despite Javier’s astute notes of the way you retracted yourself from the others at certain points of the day, you seemed to do better. There was no longer a protective shell around you. He’d catch you smiling and laughing with Karen from time to time, conversing with people during mealtimes and calm hours. With the coldness and isolation of the mountains left behind, you started acting more and more like the you he knows. It was enough to pry away the edge that had made his eyes seek you out time and time again throughout the day. You were a resilient woman, he knew that. Maybe he worried too much.

Slumping down into a chair at a free table, you let out a strained breath, stretching your legs. The Smithfield’s Saloon was quite empty compared to the amount of people it can actually accommodate, the calm sunny afternoon keeping most people occupied with their work elsewhere. Despite this a fair few surrounding tables were occupied with other patrons sipping their drinks and smoking their cigarettes. The room smelled rich of tobacco and wood, the mix of the smells accompanied by the chipper piano playing and low genuine laughter from the folks of Valentine around you felt somehow comforting. You relaxed into your seat, resting your forearms on the table.

Absent-mindedly, you pulled out your pistol, placing it on the wooden surface. Your thumb traced the wooden carving on the handle like you’d sometimes do when you were waiting, feeling the intricate grooves of the design caress the pads of your fingers. Staring at the familiar design you slowly zoned out, tuning out the hustle and bustle surrounding you.

“Good morning miss”, the gunsmith greeted you as you entered the little gunsmith store in Tumbleweed. You flashed him a smile and returned the greeting. “Anything I can assist with today?”

“Yes, actually”, you looked down to your old, flimsy holster. You were in sore need of a new one. “I’m looking to replace this, it ain’t holding the gun like it should”, you explained, handing it to him. The man inspected it closely, humming in agreement. It was practically ripping at the seams, the leather worn and scratched. There was even a bullet hole adorning the side of it. 

“Mhm, this has seen better days alright”. He turned around, looking through some drawers behind the counter before placing a few different holster variants in front of you. You scanned the selection keenly. “Any particular price range or style in mind, miss?”. You pursed your lips slightly, thinking. 

“ Affordable is just about my only criteria, sir”, you answered earnestly, and he let out a soft huff. 

“You should aim for one of these three variants here then”, he pointed to three quite simplistic holsters made of leather. “Good quality, sturdy and reliable, and some of the lower cost options I offer in this here store”, he pitched. You eyed your options, wishing you could afford to splurge on one of the variants that came with embellishments or other pretty decorations. Alas, it had been half a year since you paired up with the gang, and despite having joined a fair amount of smaller jobs here and there since then, the money in your personal lockbox was starting to run low. Expenses were getting higher and higher by the day it felt like. 

“I’ll go for this one then, sir”, you took your pick, accepting the fact of the matter. You just needed a more functional holster, and the one you chose would do just fine. 

“An excellent choice, miss, now what colour-”

The gunsmith got interrupted by the door to his shop being pushed open, a grouping of male laughter filling the room. You turned around, one hand still leaning against the counter as you eyed them.

“Ahh, here you are sweetpea”, Mac exclaimed with a flash of his smile and his arms out. “The lady of the hour”. Following him was Davey, Javier and Arthur. You had ridden into town with them, as well as with Karen, Tilly and Sean, splitting up seeing you had decided today was the day you finally rid yourself of that little inconvenience made of leather. The other three men offered you their smiles as well. “We wondered where you ran off to, the rest are waiting at the saloon, ready for some proper celebratin’ !”, he continued, his tone urging you to join them.

“Well can’t you see I’m in the middle of a transaction here, where’s your manners?”, you asked him with a shrewd smile, and he laughed.

“My apologies, miss ”, he said satirically, leaning against the wall. His hands rested on his belt as he eyed you. You huffed through your nose softly.

“Okay then, we’ll head back to the others. You come meet us there after, okay?”, Arthur asked, placing his hand on Davey’s shoulder and pointing a finger your way as he took a step towards the door. You met his eyes.

“Sure thing, Arthur”. He smiled before ushering the men to get a move on.

“Javier?”. Javier was lingering behind, making no moves to exit alongside them.

“I’ll join in a bit, gotta stock up on some ammo like I said”, he reminded him, Arthur only nodded and raised his arm in a short wave before closing the door behind him. With a sheepish smile, you turned back to the salesman. 

“Sorry about that mister, what were you saying?”

“What colour would the lady prefer?”. You looked down at your gun belt secured by your hips, asking for something to match it. He nodded once before turning, looking for the right colour in one of his drawers. Javier took a spot next to you by the counter, crossing his arms as he leaned his forearms against the surface. Your gun laid resting on the countertop in front of you. 

“I’ll throw in a free cleaning”, the man offered once he returned with your new holster, and you thanked him appreciatively as he picked it up to polish the minorly rusty metal. “This is a fine pistol you got here by the way”, he continued, admiring it as he skillfully rubbed the cloth over its surface. “I offer carvings and engravings too, if that’s of any interest. Would look nice on this piece here”.

You smiled. “I’m sure it would, but I don’t think it’s in my budget, unfortunately”. The man only hummed in understanding.

“Awh, come on, I think you should get some”, Javier spoke up from beside you, straightening up his crossed arms to prop the palms of his hands against the counter. “Hey, you know what, my treat”, he then added, giving your upper arm a soft nudge with his knuckles. You immediately whipped your gaze to give him a befuddled look. He only smiled back.

“No, that’s too much-”

“ ¡Ánimo! It’s your birthday, I insist”, he interrupted you, motioning towards the salesmen with a flick of his head, yet his eyes remained on your face, your expression still unsure. Your birthday was the whole reason the lot of you were here in the first place. Mac had insisted on taking you to the saloon for some celebratory drinks, the others more than willing to accompany you once they caught wind of the potential plans. ‘A grand day to get plastered’, Sean had said with much elation. 

You weighed his way too generous offer a couple of moments more, before reluctantly giving in. “Well okay then”, you voiced, and the corners of his lips quirked pleased. 

“What would the lady like?”, the gunsmith asked upon your compliance. “I can either do some animal carvings from a pre-selected menu, or something custom?”. He presented you with a book, various animals like wolves, bears and snakes pictured on its pages.

You looked at Javier, brow raised. “You pay, you choose”, you stated, and he rolled his eyes ever so slightly before shrugging. He figured you’d say something like that.

“ Claro ”. Javier leaned back down against the counter, resting his forearms while he rubbed his chin a few times with his fingers, thinking. “Ah, maybe the colibri !”, it dawned on him. Meeting both yours and the salesman’s confused looks, his brows furrowed as he mumbled to himself. “ Cómo se dice en inglés… ”. He thought for a little while longer, wrecking his brain for the right word. You pulled out your little notebook from your satchel, offering it to him. Immediately he started drawing this pretty little bird, with a very long and narrow beak.

“Oh! A hummingbird?”, you recognised the creature.

“¡ Sí ! A hummingbird!”, he immediately agreed elated, testing out the unfamiliar word. He then pushed the notebook towards the gunsmith. “Something like this, just… prettier”, Javier shrugged at his own artistic skills. 

“Sure thing, mister. And what for the engravings and the inlay metals?”. You let Javier choose the engravings too, only weighing in about your preference for the inlay metal colour. Javier ended up choosing the art nouveau style for your metal engravings. “I’ll have this ready for you within the next hour, miss”, he assured you, heading for the backroom of his shop to start the customisations. 

You and Javier decided to idle about the shop until everything was ready. He really did need to buy more ammo, and you concluded the rest of the bunch at the saloon had already started drinking enough to where they wouldn’t notice your absence for just an hour more. 

“Why a hummingbird?”, you asked him from your seat on a bench resting against the exterior wall of the shop. He leaned his back and head against the wall, lifting one leg to rest atop his lap casually, getting comfortable. 

“ La colibrí is a very advantageous bird in our culture- lucky . Back in Mexico they symbolise strength, resilience and resurrection, all good qualities when handling a gun, ¿no? ”, he looked at you. You only nodded with a fascinated smile. Javier sharing things about his culture never failed to intrigue you. You don’t reckon you’ll ever leave the states, so hearing about foreign places was enough to sate your suppressed desires of travel. 

The next hour passed quickly, the salesman stepping out to let you know your items were ready. The pair of you eyed the fully customised pistol with mesmerised looks, your thumb caressing the graceful little hummingbird now carved into the handle. A fond smile crept up on your lips as you examined it, remembering its meaning.

Javier paid the expenses while you paid for your new holster as well as insisting on covering the small cost of his packets of ammo. It wasn't equal in amount at all, but you knew he’d never agree to split it fifty-fifty. Feeling as though you should at least repay him somehow, you persisted in buying the cartridges, and he eventually agreed, knowing there was no changing your mind. 

Leaving the shop to rejoin the others at Tumbleweed Saloon, you took another look at your pistol. “Thank you… really ”, you said in a tone laced with sincere gratitude, and he shrugged before smiling at you fondly, his hand reaching out to pat your back softly.

“Feliz cumpleaños”

“Careful with your gun out in the open like that”, Lenny broke your trance, and you looked up at him holding two glasses of whisky, offering you one of them. You accepted it with a sheepish smile, putting the gun back in your holster. 

“I got it, kiddo”, you assured him calmly, taking a sip. He rolled his eyes at that with a huff through his nose. A twisted smile on his face. He found your teasing about his age bothersome, especially since there were only mere four, close to five, years between the two of you. However you loved to tease him. He was like a younger brother, how could you not?

Too tired to protest your jesting, seeing he’d already done so many a times before, Lenny sat down next to you. He let out a breath, relaxing into his chair in the same fashion as you had. “It’s nice around here”, he stated content, taking a sip of his own drink. You hummed in agreement.

“Yeah, for a while it felt like we’d get stuck up there”, you shuddered at the thought, that old familiar feeling creeping into the back of your mind. “Tho camp was starting to feel a bit cramped too right now, thank you for taking me out today”, you said grateful, tone overflowing with relief. Dutch had kept you all cooped up in camp the first week down from Colter, preaching how you had to lay low a little while longer before you all could start sniffing out leads for jobs amongst other things. He still had an edge to him, even when he tried to act mellow. Only a few carefully selected people had his permission to leave, although only for strictly provision or scouting related matters. 

Two weeks had now passed, and finally Dutch seemed to regain some of his old spark. It was obvious he felt more at ease, encouraging the lot of you to pull your weight and get out in the area. The Heartlands were a pretty place, and you felt excited to get a proper feel of the region. 

Lenny had found you lounging by a tree, legs propped up along the trunk while your upper body and arms were splayed out on the ground. You were staring holes into the leaves above you. Your whole demeanour screamed of dreariness, and you were deep in thought. He could tell you desperately needed some space from the campgrounds, even though you otherwise really liked it there. 

“Don’t mention it, I needed the break as much as you did. Micah is starting to get on my nerves”, he said in small frustration. You laugh.

“When is he not?”

A rowdy male voice interrupts Lenny’s laugh before he could even respond, and the two of you immediately seek out the source. A table away, a man was hollering, slightly slumped over the table towards his buddy on the other end, the latter seeming rather skittish by his volume. “But I thought old Dodd got rid of that gold, long time ago, don’t try and fool me!”. He’d clearly had one too many beers, slurred lips chasing his own words while leaning over to his friend. The other man quickly shushed him, eyes scanning around them nervously. You and Lenny retracted your gazes immediately, suddenly extremely interested in your half-empty glasses of whisky. 

“Shut up!”, he hissed in a hushed tone. The rowdy man slumped back in his seat, seemingly confused. “Course you thought that, that’s what he’s been telling everyone. But I heard from his brother Frank that he still has it stashed in that run-down piece of shit cabin of his. Frank ain’t too happy Dodd ain’t willing to share it with him. He’s talkin’ of takin’  it for himself”. Lenny exchanged a knowing look with you, and you kept your ears pointed, eyes never leaving the glass that you idly toyed with in your hands.

“Cabin? I thought he lived in a farmhouse?”

The other man sighed. “No, that was his last spot. He moved back in 1878, to that little cabin across the Dakota River just north from here… Frank said he was paranoid someone would come take his gold away. Wonder if Frank’s paid him that visit yet…”, the man pondered, scratching at his long, grey beard. The other man pondered too, before he felt his bottle was too empty and got up to fetch a fresh one, almost knocking several chairs over on his way. 

You didn’t even have to say anything, the two of you simultaneously got up from your seats, leaving the saloon as casually as you could muster. Inside however, excitement grew and took a firm hold. This could be big.

Not even three steps outside the swinging doors of the saloon, you let out a thrilled squeal, however hushed. “I mean, we have to take a shot at this, right?”, you asked Lenny, already confident you knew his answer. He shared your buzz. 

“Oh definitely”

Getting straight back on your horses hitched outside Smithfield’s saloon, you couldn’t help but pull out your map stashed securely in one of your saddlebags once you reached the border of Valentine. “North from here, huh?”, you said to yourself, eyes switching between watching the map and the road ahead. “Looks like there’s some areas fit for a little cabin right past the river here”, you showed Lenny, who took a good look at where your finger was pointing by Window Rock. 

“Sure, yeah. If that man was talking any sense, we shouldn’t need more than you and I on this. He’s alone in a small remote cabin… We’ll get in and out without any trouble, it’s too perfect to pass up”, he continued on enthusiastically. You smiled as you nodded. It’s been some time since you and Lenny had gone on a job together alone. Last time it hadn’t gone too well. Granted, you got what you came for, however accompanied by a heap more trouble than what you’d planned for. It was a year back or so, not too long after Dutch had first brought Lenny to the camp. Though he could handle himself just fine in a fight he was pretty new to robberies. It was an easy job, and you’d offered to take him with you. Ease him into it. Only, with a bit of carelessness from Lenny’s end, it ended in a brawl and the two of you being hunted down by a handful of lawmen through the harsh shrubs and trees of a thick forest in the night. You only just narrowly evaded getting caught. At the very least, your chase made for a fun story around the campfire. 

He’d improved since then, and though you’ve been on plenty of missions alongside him, you’ve yet to redeem that first job the pair of you did together. 

Holding up your hand towards him, he eyed you, before quickly and firmly smacking his palm against yours with a grin. He was thinking the same as you. 

You headed north across the Dakota river, scouting the area through your binoculars from a safe distance away. Low and behold, there was a cabin fitting the rather destructive description the man at the saloon had given it. Staying for a while longer you tried to see if there were anyone around, but you couldn’t spot any movement. The cabin was a bit closer to the nearest trail than what you’d prefer, but you estimated with the cover of the dim night any riders passing by wouldn’t get a clear vision of you from the road. The two of you shared content looks. There shouldn’t be much risk of getting caught with this job.

The rest of the way back to camp you discussed strategies. Lenny emphasised the importance of getting it done as soon as possible. Seeing word was already getting around about Dodd’s hidden stash you wouldn’t want someone else to get there first. You decided on going the next evening. A simple masked robbery, no casualties. Just in and right back out again to disappear without a trace. It was far from camp after all, there was no way for anyone to trace you. 

If only Dutch didn’t have other plans for Lenny…

“But Dutch, I got my eyes on something big, can’t it wait?”, Lenny tried to reason after Dutch asked him to go scout a nearby town with Micah of all people. It was the next morning, you and Lenny had been sitting by the table closest to Pearson’s wagon, enjoying some morning coffee while discussing what route to take to Dodd’s cabin.

“Sorry son, I need you to do this for me”, he rested a hand firmly on his shoulder, his gaze locked into Lenny’s, seeking confirmation. Lenny paused for a bit, before sighing ever so softly. He couldn’t deny whatever Dutch asked of him. 

“Sure thing, Dutch”

“Thank you son”, Dutch smiled before immediately making his way to his tent. Lenny shot you a defeated look, to which you reciprocated. 

“Damn it”, you muttered, pushing the map away before resting your head on the palm of your hand, elbow propped atop the table surface. Scouting another town would probably take a fair few days, if not more. It all depended on the distance and whatever circumstance they would find the town in. Lenny sat deep in thought for a moment, before looking back at you.

“I still think you should give it a go, take someone else with you or something”

You pondered at his suggestion, glancing over to the small group who’d also woken up early, gathered by the campfire to eat their breakfast in a tired manner. Only Uncle seemed awake and especially chipper this morning, enthusiastically retelling a story you all must’ve heard at least ten times by now. “Maybe I will”, you eventually said, looking back at him. He gave you a smile before getting up from his seat. Across camp you could see Micah prepping Baylock for the journey, and you grimaced. “Good luck”, you added, motioning towards Micah with a flick of your head. Lenny laughed grimly.

“Thanks, I’ll see you later”. And with that you were sat alone, drinking the last few sips of your coffee that had already gone cold. So much for trying again.

Feeling significantly deflated by the sudden change of plans you folded the map back down for now, getting up to join the others chatting by the fire. 

~

“Time’s up, kid”. Bill’s grunt coming from behind startled you there you stood keeping watch with the guard rifle firmly in hand. You quickly composed yourself before turning to hand him the rifle, pleased your hours were up for the evening. 

“Have fun”, you told him, to which he only gave you a tired look. You giggled at that, trudging back towards camp, through the little bushes and lush greenery adorning the forest grounds. Guard duty was a bothersome task, mostly consisting of staring into nothingness with nothing but your own thoughts for hours on end. It was rare anything major happened, which in hindsight you’re grateful for because it meant you were all safe, but god could it get stale. 

While you had been standing there the past afternoon, you were considering your options for Dodd’s cabin. You could do as Lenny had suggested and bring someone else along, however Lenny’s words from your way back from Valentine kept popping into your mind. ‘ He’s alone in a small remote cabin’ . 

Surely you could just take a shot at it alone? 

You didn’t feel too keen on briefing someone else on everything, just to bring them on a job where only one person was really needed. It felt to you like a waste of their time, they probably had other things going on, right?

You quickly wolfed down whatever uninspired version of a rabbit stew Person had prepared, before getting your things. It was already dark, most either relaxing by their tents, preparing for bed, or idling by the fire in good company. 

In the background you could hear Javier’s gentle strumming of his guitar, and you felt like dropping everything you were doing to sit down and listen. Your idea of a nice and fulfilling evening consisted of good conversations by the warm blaze of the burning logs, followed by a song or two from Javier. No one had to ask him to play, he mostly started playing on his own whims throughout the day, and you were certain you’re not the only one who finds the sound of it comforting. He could change the entire atmosphere of the camp with just a few skillful motions of his fingers across the strings. 

“Are you not heading for bed?”, Mary-Beth asked you curious, and you jumped slightly in your spot. She was already stripped down to only her chemise, on her way to her mattress and her book resting atop her pillow when she spotted you packing your horse.

“No, I'm heading out for a bit, don’t worry about waiting up for me”, you reassured her, though it didn’t quite do the job. She looked up at the night sky, the moon and stars shining down on the campsite, before returning her gaze to you.

“Right now?”

“Yeah, it can’t wait”, you tried to assure her again. Her brows stayed raised as she seemed to think to herself for a second. Reluctantly, she exhaled. 

“Mm’okay then, be careful tho”, she warned, slightly worried, and you brushed it off.

“Of course, always am, Mary-Beth”, you smiled, taking her hand. She returned your smile, seemingly a bit more at ease. Letting go, she started walking off. “Goodnight, don’t stay up readin’ now”, you called out after her with a small smirk. 

“Yeah, yeah”, she waved off leisurely, with the tiniest giggle. “Night”, she then added, before disappearing behind the wagon. You turned back to your horse, adjusting the saddle and packing your bag. If you were efficient this wouldn’t take longer than a couple of hours tops. You doubted anyone would even notice you were gone before you returned- 

“Are you going somewhere?”. You halted your preparations to turn around, meeting Javier’s quirked brow and quizzical look. During your conversation with Mary-Beth you hadn’t even noticed his soft strumming coming to an end. He’d gone over to the water barrel by the food wagon when he noticed you quietly packing. 

“Uh, well yeah, there’s this cabin I’ve been scouting so I was just-”

“Alone?”, he interrupted you.

“Yes. Or no, with Lenny actually. We overheard some men talking about it at the saloon, but then Dutch sent him off with Micah”, you explained swiftly. “I figured I’d just go anyway”. Tightening the saddle ever so slightly you took a small step away from your horse, hands propped on your hips as you scanned her to make sure you were good to go. Javier’s brows furrowed.

“So you planned for two, but now you’re going alone ?”. You held his gaze, silent for a few moments.

“Well.. yeah, essentially”, you eventually agreed. 

“What if there’s more people there? Or you get followed?”

“I know what I’m doing”, you added nonchalantly, patting your horse’s neck. Javier eyed you for moments more before huffing. A series of spanish mumbles left his lips as he ran his hand across his face disapprovingly. 

“ Ay, qué obstinada, ¿Qué pasa si necesitas ayuda y ninguno de nosotros está allí, eh? ”. He spoke so lowly and with such speed you only managed to catch one word you recognised, and you tutted.

“Hey, I’m not stubborn”

To that he raised a brow with an amused smirk toying on his lips. He shook his head slightly. “If you say so, muchacha tontita ”. You cocked your head at him questioningly, but shrugged it off with a confused smile, getting up in your saddle. You were just about to bid him your goodbyes and leave when he spoke again. “-But I’m coming with”, he declared once you settled into your seat, wandering over to Boaz hitched just a few horses away. You sighed.

“Javier…”

He stopped to give you a look. “Either me or I go get…”, he looked around, scanning the area for the closest person still awake and moving. His eyes stilled on someone, and a sly smile crept up on his lips. You followed his line of sight, fighting the malcontented sigh threatening to leave your throat once you saw who he was looking at. “...ah, Uncle''. He peered back at you with a knowing look, his tone feigning innocence. “Your pick, chica ”.

You huff, rolling your eyes. He already knew your answer. “Saddle up then, cowboy”, you gave in, and you just about caught the look of triumph taking over his expression in the form of a smug smile as he turned to Boaz. He let out a content close-lipped chuckle to himself before hoisting himself up. 

“Lead the way”

~

You had briefed him on the plan during your ride to the cabin, and he quickly assented that the circumstances all worked in your favour. Now the two of you snuck quietly through the night, settling by some bushes and trees on the back end of the cabin. 

“Still don’t understand why you were trying to go at this alone”, Javier picked up the thread from earlier, and you sighed.

“You seem to forget I used to do jobs alone all the time”, you challenged him with a quirked brow.

“ Sí , sure, but now you don’t have to, is the thing”, he retorted with a shrug. You didn’t answer, silently reaching for your satchel. 

“You see anyone?”, Javier whispered. You were peering through your binoculars, scanning whatever part of the interior you could see through the window. The angle didn’t allow for a full view, but from what you could tell there was no movement. 

“No… A few lights are still on in there tho. I reckon he’s either asleep or out the house”, you thought out loud, lowering your binoculars. “Maybe in town for the night?”, you shrugged at him. He looked from you to the window, one leg slightly bouncing in his crouched position as he weighed the different possibilities. “Either way, now's the time. If he’s in there one of us keeps him in line while the other searches the place. And if he isn’t… well this night just became a hell of a lot easier”

He looked back at you, nodding. “You’re right”, he pulled at his bandana, covering half his face, a slight glimmer in his eyes. “Let’s go”.

You covered your face as well, both getting up from your hiding spot. You took a hurried step to the right, suddenly feeling yourself lose balance as something tugged on you. A branch of the bush had snagged the bottom hem of your skirt, and you wobbled backwards, trying to stay upright at the unexpected entanglement. Javier reached out and grabbed a firm hold on your waist with one hand and your wrist with the other, stopping you from fully tumbling over. 

“Shit”, you uttered, slightly shaken up. You met his eyes, his saving grip on you caused your faces to be mere inches apart. His deep, brown eyes seemed somehow fiercer with the rest of his features covered, and your gazes lingered on each other just a tad bit too long, before Javier straightened up, getting you back to your feet properly in the process. Before you could even collect yourself, he knelt down to untangle the branch from your skirt. 

You eyed him still feeling slightly nervy, but as he got up to eye level again his lingering gaze from before was all but gone, replaced by his usual poised mirthfulness. 

“ Cuidado, preciosa ”. You shook out of it, your focus back on the task at hand.

“Stupid skirt”, you finally said, turning around. He only chuckled lightly at that before following you towards the cabin. 

Pistol ready in one hand, and the other firmly opening the door, you entered the cabin. You scanned the room at your eyelevel, but as you spotted no one you let your gaze fall to the floor. 

“Christ!”, you exclaimed stunned, taking in the scene in front of you. 

“What?”, Javier quickly asked upon hearing your tone, taking a step into the cabin, but there was no need for you to elaborate as he too eyed the floor with widened eyes.

Two men were splayed out on the wooden boards, covered in their own blood.  “You think someone got here before us?”. You crouched down slightly to assess the state of the men more closely. 

“I doubt it, they’ve been dead at least a few days and judging by the axe and the crowbar it looks like they were fighting”, you estimated by their wounds and the foul smell filling the small room. “The guy at the bar did say his brother wanted to take the gold for himself…”, you added in an afterthought. 

Javier looked around the room, searching a few nearby drawers. “Reckon the gold’s still here?”

“It has to be”, you said determined, patting down the dead man’s pockets. Your fingers enclosed around something rugged and firm, and you pulled out a handful of gold nuggets, presenting it to Javier. “There should be more here somewhere, stashed away for safekeeping”.

Javier eyed the golden lumps in your palm before scanning the room once more. Keen eyes took notice of how the floorboard underneath the cabinet was more worn than the rest, and he walked past you to push it out of the way. Dropping down to his knees, he started prying on the board. It didn’t take much for the wooden piece to pop out of its place, and a satisfied smile reached Javier’s eyes. “ Y aquí está” , he countered your gold nugget with a nicely sized goldbar clutched in his hand, looking up at you from the ground. You let out a thrilled titter, walking over to him. He handed it to you for you to put in your satchel, and sanguine the two of you stepped out of the cabin, grateful for the fresh air filling your nostrils.

Javier whistled for Boaz, and you did the same for yours, both basking in the success of the evening. “I’m sure we could fetch at least-”

“Ey! What are the likes of you doing here?”, a male voice called out and you froze. It was the man from the saloon, his drunken feller on tow, though notably more sober than last time you saw him. His narrowed eyes went from the cabin to Javier, then you, noting the bandanas still covering your features. 

“Crap, you think they got the gold before us?”, his friend asked hushed, and the other guy’s narrowed eyes narrowed even more. 

“I guess we’ll find out”. You just about managed to evade the shot he fired in your direction, hurriedly seeking cover behind the small elevated terrace in front of the entrance to the cabin while Javier found cover behind the closest tree. 

“ ¡Malditos cabrones! ”, he said through gritted teeth, pissed, reloading his gun before firing back at the men. You got your pistol out as well, having quite a clear shot of the drunken feller from your spot. His reaction skills seemed dulled as he fumbled to reach for his gun. By the time he had it raised you shot his hand and he dropped it instantly, screeching in pain. With another bullet to his head he was silenced.

“Henry!”, the other man called out in rage. “You’ll pay for that!”, his eyes bored into you, and if looks could kill you’d be dead already. However he too fell limp to the ground once Javier hit him with a couple of shots to the chest. Slowly, you got up to your feet, a hand on the splintering wooden terrace supporting you. Javier hurried over to your side, his hand resting against your upper arm.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine”, you assured him. Both made it without as much as a scratch.

“We should leave before someone comes looking”, Javier ushered you to follow, and you hurriedly got back on your horses. Once closing in on the river by Bard’s Crossing bridge, you removed your bandanas. 

You’d been riding in hurried silence until now, however feeling as though the coast was finally clear again, Javier let out a laugh. “Quite the night ¿eh? ”. You looked at him with an amused grin.

Once again a job hadn’t gone at all the way it was planned, and you sensed it as quite a common theme as of late. You shook away the gloomy aspect of your thought. At least it worked out in the end, and that’s gotta count for something. 

“Hosea told me he’s been looking into this potential fencing spot, I reckon we can sell the gold there once he’s got it all figured out”, you shared enthusiastically. Javier nodded, smiling content. 

“Just name the time and place and we’ll go, chica ”

Chapter Text

Camp had been quiet for a while, with the exception of Swanson’s drunken singing and Uncle’s constant chatter. The day after your little robbery, Javier had gone to Valentine with Charles, Bill and Arthur, but only Bill came back. You had asked him what happened but you only got some grumble of an explanation of how they got into a fight and Trelawney showed up saying Sean was alive. Desiring more information you sought out Dutch, who didn’t have much else to add other than that Javier and Charles went scouting ahead with Trelawney. You naturally felt nervous that the lot of them were returning so close to the one place in this country you shouldn’t be right now, but of course you had to try if there was even the slightest chance Sean was alive. “Have some faith”, Dutch had told you, the usual line. Maybe they’d find out more information about Mac’s whereabouts as well. Your last interaction with him plagued the back of your mind like a lingering curse.

It was supposed to be a risky but doable job...Swift and efficient… Well planned and just as well executed… This job was supposed to be a lot of things, but not this deadly . 

“Jenny!”, you knelt down by her side with frantic hands on her cowering form. She pressed her arm to her stomach, thick, red liquid spreading across her abdomen, staining her yellow dress. She could only wheeze through feeble breaths. You looked back the way the guards had come, both now dead on the ground from standing on the receiving end of your pistol barrel. But even so they had managed to get some shots in before you detected them. Cowards, shooting at you from behind, while both were unsuspecting. How the hell did they know what you were doing here anyhow, the plan hadn’t even properly commenced.

Your head stayed cool and collected, but within your chest panic started to flare. It was a festering kind, one that told you things wouldn’t end in your favour. There was just so much blood. 

“Don’t worry Jenny, you’ll be alright”, you tried to soothe her, tearing off a good chunk of your skirt to bind her pulsing wound tightly. You desperately longed for Susan or even Strauss’ first aid expertise, but you were so very far away from camp. The fresh lake air on this otherwise fine sunny day stood in grim contrast to the metallic scent of Jenny’s waist. From her lips only quivering mumbles of words you could barely make out was heard.

“Shit!”

Your pistol was aimed at the voice before your head could even turn, but you lowered it as soon as your gaze followed and your eyes met Mac. 

“Mac, they know we’re here-”

“I know”, he stopped you and knelt down on one knee next to the pair of you. “We heard the gunshots down here from the upper floor and Dutch sent me to look. Those sons of bitches surrounded them right after I left, I barely slipped away in time”, he swiftly explained through gritted teeth. Your stomach dropped. Another whimper came from Jenny, and you moved her brown hair away from her face as if to help her breathe better, feeling her skin damp with sweat. She was burning up. Mac got her up from the ground and you took a firm hold of her with her arm flung meekly across your shoulders. “You take her off the boat and get the both of you to safety, I’ll hold off anyone coming this way” 

“But Mac-”

“Just do it!”. There was no time to argue, he was just as headstrong as you, and Jenny’s shape was getting progressively worse. Before you could leave fully, however, he grabbed your upper arm, and you eyed him intently. “Now, you don’t stop for no one, don’t take any bullshit, you only worry about yourself, ya hear? You… you keep yourself safe now”. There was something in his tone you couldn’t quite recognise. 

“I…”, you struggled under his fierce yet somehow solemn gaze. “I will, Mac”. His tense grip loosened at that, and he let go. You hurriedly readjusted your grip on Jenny. “You take your own advice now too then!”, you turned your head to say as you started moving. 

He smiled, arms out slightly like a casual shrug. “I always do, sweetheart”. Somewhere in the distance you could hear someone yell to check the back of the boat. “Go!”, Mac ordered, and you did just that, not looking back.

There was no time to worry about the rest. No time to assess the chaotic situation that was now unfolding. You could only focus on Jenny and getting her off this godforsaken ferry. There weren’t exactly a lot of escape routes available to choose from, the luxury of simply calling your horses and running away was removed the second you all stepped foot on the ferry a couple of hours earlier.

You were now at the very back end of the boat, calls and screams of panic and fright filling the air thickly from the top deck at the front of the vessel, from where you knew the others were stuck. If the citizens back on land in Blackwater hadn’t been alerted before, they were sure to be alerted now…

“Wait here”, you told your bleeding friend, propping her against the railing. You had a plan, a risky one at that, but then again any action you took from this point on would be. You had no overview of where anyone on this boat was. For all you knew someone could appear and finish the job the previous guards started this very second. You looked across the water towards the town, contemplating the range. There was simply no way for you to swim the entire distance. Even if Jenny could manage to get across, the guards most certainly surveying the water by now would detect you immediately. 

Grabbing a hold of your knife strapped to your ankle under your skirt you cut the ropes of the surrounding life boats. They all hit the water with deafening splashes, floating off along the streams of the ever large Flat Iron Lake. 

Jenny called your name in a weak rasp, and you hurried back over to her. “I’m here, sweet girl”. Carefully you lowered her into the water, making sure to hold onto her tightly. She wimpered from the cool temperature, a stark contrast to her growing fever. “It’ll be cold for a little bit, just hold onto me”, you whispered and you followed her into the lake, minimising your motions so as to not disturb the water too much. 

When you heard voices calling to check the bottom level of the ferry once more, time was of the essence. Swiftly moving as fast as you could with Jenny hooked onto you, you grabbed a hold of the rope that adorned the rim of the closest lifeboat. It was your hope that the several empty boats would throw them off your trail long enough for you to reach the shoreline, and so you remained hidden behind the lifeboat, your bodies still engulfed in the dark water. 

The swim alongside the wooden raft was a slow endeavour. Jenny wasn’t exactly getting better but it seemed the slightly more regulated temperature helped her regain some sort of consciousness, her honey eyes staying open for longer periods of time. Deeming the distance placed between you and the ferry was enough, you helped her into the boat, hoisting yourself up after her with a strained grunt. The many layers and fabrics of your societal gowns worn for the mission weren’t exactly made to float. The absorbed water weighed it down as heavy as rocks, and you flopped harshly against the wooden bottom

“We’re almost back on land Jenny”, you croaked out in sheer physical exhaustion as you crawled over to the ores. She was curled into a ball on the floor of the boat, breathing heavy. You pulled the ores as if your life depended on it, which it now did. A secluded beach at the far left of town was your goal. 

You kept on rowing, fighting against your tired arms burning and screaming for a respite. Not even when shots and horrified shrieks alike started ringing out from the ferry that was now getting closer to the docks did you stop the motion.

The lifeboat hit the sand with a thud, and you found yourself surrounded by horror-stricken onlookers, some calling for others to come see and others calling for officers to come help. 

Immediately you slipped into the role of a damsel in distress, though you very much were. Jenny were growing weaker and weaker by the second. An officer approached your boat with hurried steps. “Oh my, sir! The ferry! Those awful men, they shot her! My sister!”. Your cheeks were wet with a mix of tears and water from the lake as you grabbed her, the salty streaks real in contrast to the over the top act you were putting on. You needed to get her out of there immediately and warn the others in camp. There was no way you could stay here after this, and you were starting to get desperate. You could do nothing but pray the rest on the boat would make it out okay, but for now your only focus was on the girl dying in your arms. 

“Move away”, the officer ordered the curious folks surrounding you, and he assisted the both of you up to the main cobblestone street. “Here miss, I’ll help take her to the doctor’s office-”

“No!”, you interrupted him almost too fast, and his expression contorted into one of confusion. “Our daddy, he’s, uh, he’s a well renowned doctor, I’ll take her to him”, was the best you could think to say in your despair. 

Trotting over to a horse that most definitely wasn’t yours, you hoisted yourself up. “Please help her into the saddle for me, mister”, you asked politely, however the stress laced in your voice wasn't one he could miss. Though a little confused he did as told, and Jenny now sat in front of you on the saddle, resting back against you. The back of her head was propped atop your shoulder, her shallow, rapid breathing going straight to your ear. 

The streets of Blackwater were a disaster, crawling with lawmen and civilians alike, either running to or from the ferry now docking. You kicked the horse into an immediate gallop, just barely evading anyone in the crowded street. 

Reaching the hill marking the edge of the town you headed straight for camp the second you were certain no one was tailing you. Jenny mumbled something indistinguishable, and you peered down her front to meet a grim sight. The blood was starting to seep through her binding now, crimson red mixing with the blue fabric of the piece you tore off your dress. “Don’t give up just yet”, you said strained, a plea not just to her but for yourself as you pushed the horse to its very limit all the way back to camp. 

…though, the efforts were in vain. Upon arriving, only a few shallow breaths indicated she was still alive. Not even with Miss Grimshaw and Herr Strauss rebinding her wounds and presenting her with one remedy after the next, did her fever calm or her breathing strengthen. By the time the others from the ferry came stumbling into the busy camp, the air had already left her lungs, and the life faded from her once lively eyes…

Mac and Sean were nowhere to be seen, Davey in just as bad of a condition as Jenny had been right after she was shot, and the rest of the men covered in blood, dust and grime, having just barely scraped by. Camp was pure chaos, things left behind in an effort to leave faster. There was simply no time to bury sweet Jenny, and you carefully placed her in the back of one of the carriages to be buried wherever you got the chance to stop next. None of you knew when. The image of Lenny’s face when he saw her lay limp and with the colour of her skin dulled will be burned into your memory forever. Javier too looked like someone had just punched him in the gut. You were all close to her, but Lenny most of all. He didn’t leave her side for even a second, until Dutch made him ride next to the carriage once you neared a couple of open areas on your refuge up towards the secluded mountains. 

You weren’t sure if Mac made it somewhere safe after the ferry, no one had a good answer for you. During a calm evening by the fire Charles had told you he got off the boat alongside them but they lost sight of him in the chaos of the shootout that followed right after. You always kept your eyes and ears peeled when in town for any sort of information that could even have the slightest correlation to him, a fair amount of your small scraps of money in your personal lockbox went straight into the pockets of Valentine’s paperboy. Inadvertently you had become his most loyal customer, never missing a single issue of the New Hanover Gazette, in pure optimistic anticipation for just the tiniest hint of Mac’s fate. It had turned into such a routined event that if the boy simply spotted you within the livestock town, he wasted no time approaching you.

Lenny had returned from his and Micah’s scouting trip before Arthur left for Blackwater. He had been quite shaken up, frantically retelling what went down on their trip, the bottom line being that Micah was now stuck in a cell in Strawberry. Arthur seemed to be in no rush getting him out, and you honestly couldn’t deny the slight hope circling your mind that he’d get there too late. Not that you’d admit to it in front of Dutch, he seemed to grow impatient at any patronising comments about that despicable man. 

You were playing dominoes with Tilly a few days later when that familiar hollering broke the peace in camp. “Did yous miss a handsome Irishman by any chance?”, Sean’s heavily accented voice howled.

You and Tilly both immediately turned towards the sound, your game of dominoes long forgotten. A wide grin replaced both your surprised expressions as you watched Sean wave from the rear of Javier’s horse. Boaz’s rider, however, seemed quite tired as he pulled the reins, slumping down from the saddle lazily after Sean jumped off, a pep in his step. 

The two of you ran over to embrace him with gleeful chortles. “I’d get captured more often if I knew I’d get all the lassies in my arms”, he joked, and Tilly shoved his shoulder playfully offended as you rolled your eyes. 

“Careful now, or we might just let Karen know”. Sean’s eyes widened at your words. 

“Christ, okay okay”, he raised his hands in front of him, and you huffed. “She miss me?”, the devilish smirk now on his face was audible in his voice.

“Why don’t you go find out?”, Tilly nudged him again, however your small reunion was cut short as Dutch claimed your attention.

“Sean! My boy!”, Dutch walked towards him upon hearing the ruckus, with arms open and the rest of camp following in tow. Tilly and Sean joined them over by Pearsons wagon, while you stayed behind, watching them. Turning to the hitch posts, you saw Charles and Arthur appear from the shadowy trees, and peace settled within you. They all made it back safe and sound. Arthur gave Charles and then Javier a firm pat on their shoulders, seemingly meant as a pick me up for the tired Mexican. 

“You look like you’re gonna pass out there, Escuella”. Javier stalled upon hearing your voice, he had barely noticed you standing idly by Hosea’s tent. He joined your side, sliding a hand across his face with an exhausted sigh. 

“He wouldn’t stop talking.. The entire ride… Estupido.. ”. Javier’s eyes looked over at Sean giving a loud speech for the rest of camp as he particularly enunciated that last part. You stifled a snicker. Sean’s mouth could be quite the bottomless pit of words, and you felt for the man next to you.

“You poor thing”, you said with a mix of amusement and genuine empathy. He huffed, a small smile finally breaking his stone-faced expression. 

“Mr. Macguire is back! So come on… let’s have ourselves a party!”, Dutch ordered so passionate his voice broke, for all across the campgrounds to hear, eliciting delighted cheers from everyone gathered by him. 

“Sí, gracias a Dios!”, Javier muttered to himself with a sigh of both relief and exhaustion. You eyed him with a quirked brow. “You heard the man”, Javier walked over to one of the crates of beer, grabbing two bottles and handing the other to you. “Enjoy yourself”, he winked before turning around to walk over to the campfire. 

The party had commenced fully, and there were few places in camp one could go to without stumbling into people loudly laughing or drinking. The sun had set and camp was alive with joyful chatter and flickering orange light from the fires and lanterns embellishing the scene. 

“Good job getting him outta there”, you told Arthur as you joined his side by the table next to Pearsons wagon. “It’s good to have him back”.

“I guess we’ll see about that”, he said in that tone only Arthur could do, as he took a swig of his bottle. 

“Arthur!”, you exclaimed with a suppressed laugh, nudging him.

“What?” His voice feigned ignorance, though he couldn’t hide the hint of a laugh threatening to leave his mouth by the slight quiver and smile now on his lips. 

“Oh, you’re a funny guy Arthur Morgan!”, Sean exclaimed next to him in an offended puff, before smirking drunkenly. “I know ya love me!”. Arthur only grunted with a roll of his eyes, and you looked between the two with amusement. 

“Mhm, you’re a real charmer”

“Listen, my friend, do you know the Louisville Maid ?”, Uncle hooked a hold of Javier as he passed the table. There was no need for a verbal confirmation, Javier getting a crate to join you across the wooden surface. He promptly started plucking his strings and Uncle sighed pleased upon recognising the tune of his request. Uncle’s voice roared out as he waved his hands towards your group as if he was directing a choir. Karen joined in without hesitation and surely,  Sean, tailed by Arthur’s grumbling voice, quickly followed their lead. You were starting to feel the slight buzz from your previous bottles, and you sang along with the rest of them. The wide grin now on your face had come to stay. Your alcohol-touched mind didn’t care if you hit all the right notes, singing your heart out while Karen draped her arm around your shoulders to pull you into a slightly unsynchronised side-to-side sway. “ I put my hand upon’er ass, mark well what I do say! She said ‘let’s lay down on the grass’ and diddle-diddle-diddle all day! ”. The song came to a close with hollers and laughter, followed by uncle calling out. “And we diddle-diddle-did too!”. You giggled at his words, only surpassed by Arthur’s loud cackle. Settling down again you took another good swig of your bottle. 

“Ah it’s good to be back. I even missed you, ya old bastard”, Sean nudged Uncle, who let out a cackle.

“And I missed a good excuse to celebrate!”. Sean laughed as you huffed. Of course he did.

“Me and you, never need one of those, Uncle!”

“I didn’t think we was gonna see you again”

“Ah, it’ll take more than that to take down Sean Macguire. A hundred bounty hunters there were!”, he laid it on thick, and upon sensing the start of a very long and exaggerated tale, your eyes darted over to Javier who was already getting up with an annoyed look. You had to stifle yet another giggle. He had likely heard this very story more times than he’d ever agree to on their ride back from Blackwater, and he would rather chop his ears off than listen to it again. Javier felt your gaze and gave you a knowing look with a slight eye roll before walking away someplace else. Anywhere else. You yourself braced your ears for quite the waterfall of words about to be spilled out of Sean’s mouth as he began his passionate narration.

~

One after the other you had all left the table, and under the dim golden light of various lanterns you now found yourself nursing another bottle, swaying slightly by yourself to the soft music of Dutch’s gramophone. Dutch were swaying along with Molly through skillful steps, and while your eyes stayed shut, you heard Mary-Beth timidly ask Arthur for a dance. You took yet another healthy gulp from the whatever numbered bottle you’d grabbed tonight; the exact amount would remain a mystery. However, upon opening your eyes you put it aside on the wooden table next to you with a firm thud. Sight now regained, you watched the two couplings spin about the ground of dirt and grass. You leaned back to rest against the table, observing them with a mix of fondness and longing. 

“Wanna dance, ¿ chica ?”. You almost tripped over nothing when Javier’s serene voice made you jump in your spot. He had walked over so quietly you hadn’t even noticed him. Or maybe it was just your intoxicated mind dulling your sense of awareness. Either way, his hand stayed outstretched towards you, in silent offering. 

You studied him, suddenly quite stunned. He had discarded his hat and poncho somewhere. Knowing him it was probably neatly folded and placed by his tent. “No gentleman leaves a lady without a dance, ¿no? ”, he shrugged when your stunned look didn’t let up. His speech was the tiniest bit slurred, but delicate nonetheless. Your expression softened as you raised your hand to accept his.

“I suppose not”.

It was clear he’d also depleted a fair few bottles earlier, if not just from his tone then from the tiniest wobble notable in his movements as well. But even so, he smoothly led you over to a free spot next to the other pairs. 

He pulled his arm that was linked to yours in towards himself, pulling you close. He didn’t hold you quite like Arthur and Dutch held the other girls. Javier had you settle into him much closer . He placed your left hand on the small of his neck and positioned the right side of your face against his cheek in a fluid motion. His right hand now rested on your upper back as his left intertwined with yours, keeping it up at shoulder height. You couldn’t recall the foreign name but it was a Mexican style of partner dancing. You only recognised it as such cause you had asked him once, sometime years ago, what dances in Mexico were like. He’d described a lot of them as more sensual and proximate than what you’d find here, and now with your body flushed against his, and your face inches away from his neck you definitely understood what he meant. Your face previously warm from the alcohol was now running hot and prickly for a whole different reason. You couldn’t recall the last time you were this close to someone.

With a few too many drinks in your system, you struggled slightly to keep up with his suave rhythmic movements, but nevertheless you let him lead you along, trying your best to match his sway. The way he was holding you felt almost protective... safe , and you started leaning into the feeling.

“We’re beating them”, you heard him murmur next to you. You giggled against his cheek. 

“Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean we look better dancing, preciosa ”. You only smiled to yourself. You had worried you were doing a poor job following along his latin flow, making a fool of yourself, but the way he spoke eased your mind.

At some point he’d decided to pick up the pace and have some fun. He had a clever glint in his eye as he twirled and flung you around so fast you could hardly keep up. You didn’t know where this all came from, the classical music softly playing from the gramophone was hardly fit for such excessive and hurried movements. Yet he didn’t seem to care. You had looked so solemn before, on your lonesome by the table, all he wanted to do was to cheer you up and keep your laughter going. To hell with the music. His grin grew wider and wider at your laughter, you couldn’t stop it even if you tried, your head was spinning and the motions made your stomach tickle. “Javier!”, you croaked out between the bursts. If you strived to keep up with his calm movements before, you definitely struggled to stay on your feet now, stumbling around while he expertly executed the rapid spins and motions of the Cumbia . Once his grin couldn’t possibly get any wider, laughter erupted from his chest as well. It wasn’t all that often he’d laugh louder than a chuckle, and even then it wasn’t as loud and genuine as this one. The sound of it tickled your brain unlike anything else. 

He dipped you one last time and you clung onto him for dear life as you tried to catch your breath. “Christ, Javier, I think I need to sit down for a minute”, you heaved, head spinning, yet your smile never faltered. His grin softened into a smile as he straightened you both, letting go so you could stumble over to the closest chair. Javier watched you from his spot for a second, before ultimately joining you from across the table. 

“I think we scared them off”, he said after a moment had passed, pointing towards where the others had danced previously, the gramophone now playing in lone company. You followed his finger, a snicker leaving your lips as your head slumped to rest on your hand against the table.

“And I think you scared off my breath, you silly man, I can hardly catch it”, you retorted, and Javier smirked. He took it as a hint you needed a second so he stayed silent, simply looking at you. Your dizzy mind kept your face tilted upwards at the sky while your eyes stayed closed shut.

As he looked at you the tingle and buzz from his fair share of bottled spirits calmed ever so slightly. 

“Come on, one dance won’t hurt ya, girl”, Mac insisted, hand outstretched to where you sat by the fire, Javier strumming a lively tune on his guitar. Javier had already been sitting there awhile, people coming and going, listening and talking. He didn’t mind what, his sole focus was always on the songs and the notes he played. Mac had joined him, staying pretty much silent the entire time which Javier found unusual, but he wasn’t the type to pry the very second someone acted a little out of character. It all changed though, when you came sauntering over. Javier found people didn’t pay him much mind while he played at the campfire, often letting their masks slip as if he’s not really there. He noted how Mac’s eyes got a slight spark to them once he laid eyes on you making yourself comfortable by the log, ready to unwind to his music like Javier would often see you do. A smug smile immediately appeared on Mac’s lips. 

You only looked up at the blonde by his request to dance, a smile on your lips yet an expression on your face that was hard to read. When you didn’t budge, Mac looked to Javier. “Escuella, don't ya think she should dance with me?”. Javier only looked at him and huffed with a casual shrug of his shoulders, fingers ever picking at the strings. He didn’t care to meddle. “Thanks man”, Mac puffed, eyes back on you again. He raised his brows, and you sighed. 

“You’re insufferable, you know that?”, you said, reluctantly getting up to your feet. 

“And you’re a stubborn lil’ thing, ain’t ya”, Mac grinned as you took his hand, immediately swinging you around to the rhythm of Javier’s guitar. Mac definitely had two left feet, moving so clumsily you seemed to not be able to help the enlivened laugh leaving your lips from his inept steps.

Watching your calm expression while your eyes were sealed shut, Javier remembered how he wished he could read your mind back then. He found he struggled to really understand what laid behind it all. You were always so complying, bending over backwards to keep those around you content. Did you really want to dance with Mac? Were you just being nice? He had watched the way Mac’s clumsy steps had made you giggle, how his continuous spews of cheesy and sometimes downright shameless teasing made your eyes roll, but never made your smile falter. Maybe you really wanted to. That same feeling of yearning for just a copper for your thoughts crept up again now years later. He found despite reading you well he struggled to fully grasp your drive and your passions. Did you act out of duty? Kindness? Loyalty? 

Across camp, both of you could hear Uncle’s voice sing out over the grounds again, interrupting Javier’s deep train of thought. You opened your eyes, looking in the direction of the campfire with a grin as you got up to your feet, a sudden burst of energy. You turned to the umber eyed man next to you, grabbing his hand. “Will you play along on your guitar? Please?” You pleaded as you pulled him up to his feet. You wasted no time waiting for an answer, dragging him along while he stumbled after you.

“ Cálmate ”, he cooed amused once you reached the others and you finally slowed your pace. “‘Course I will”. Eagerly you sat down on the log. Javier grabbed his guitar and seamlessly played along to the song that had already begun, much to the other’s pleasure, Uncle giving him a single, solid pat on his back. “ She went off to be a whore, hung this sign upon her door ‘A dollar for each, and three for two, to take a crack at my ring dang doo’. The ring dang doo, now what is that ?!- ”. You sang along in pure elation, spurts of giggles leaving your lips at some of the more foul words. 

The song reached its inevitable end, and at last you started to truly feel the effects of the unknown amount of bottles you’d ingested throughout the evening. “I think…”, you voiced out loud, many sets of eyes darting over to look at you. “I think this is where I say goodnight, gentlemen”, you managed to say through your progressively slurred speech. A few small groans and awhs of disappointment left some of them. The night sky was starting to turn just a few shades lighter, ever closing in on the early morning hours. 

You got up to your feet in a stumble, Sean protesting. “Awh come on, this is the night to celebrate!”. 

“You keep on celebrating Sean” you waved him off. “I fear I’ll take a tumble off this here cliff if I keep this up”, you giggle, lids heavy in your intoxicated haze. Arthur who sat closest to you lifted his arm to rest his hand against your back briefly. 

“You have a good night now”. You smiled at him, grateful. 

“ Buenas noches ”. At the calming cadence of his voice, your eyes immediately found Javier’s. The light from the fire gave his skin an orange glow, and in your state it was almost mesmerising. You just about managed to pull yourself out of the trance before it properly festered to shoot him a smile. 

“Night”, you bid them all, before stumbling off on your way to your bedroll. You were sure to feel the effects of your poor drinking choices tomorrow, and you dreaded the thought of the rays of the morning sun as your spinning head hit your pillow.

~

A couple of days after Sean’s return you had asked him about Mac when the Irishman had come to relieve you from guard duty. Like most others he had no definite answer for you. His estimate was a bit more morbid than Charles’ though. “Looked like he got shot up pretty bad, my guess is he died. But I didn’t really hear nothin’ so I don’t know for sure”.

Under the overcast sky it was almost like you could sense what Arthur was gonna say watching him close in on you with sombre steps. His face was usually so relaxed, nonchalant . But now, after returning with Jack from their little fishing trip, his face was in worried folds, turning gloom after he relayed some information you couldn’t make out from the bustle of everyday life in camp, to Dutch by his tent. Busy washing some dishes you stood idly by, eyes flickering up to eye the pair from time to time with a gnawing feeling inside. The fact he went straight towards you after walking away from Dutch only confirmed your suspicions. You’d been the one pestering everyone about Mac since you got down from Colter, and you even recalled making him promise to seek you out the second he learned something new.

You don’t know what you’ve been expecting. It’s been weeks, closing in on a month, since the Blackwater massacre, and there had been no signs of him anywhere. A part of you had already accepted the probability he was dead just from the overwhelming lack of signs of life. But the rest of you deluded yourself so willingly into believing he’d slipped away somehow, laying low until he could safely regroup with you all.

But as it turned out, it simply wasn’t the case, and improbabilities would forever stay improbable.

You couldn’t stand lingering about in camp that evening. It was full of gloomy chatter and longing memories from your folks remembering the Callander boys after the news about Mac’s untimely end reached them all. Seeking some form of retreat, you sat by the edge of the smaller cliff just left of the main campgrounds. There was an old broken wagon there, left and forgotten by a previous owner who must’ve camped in this very plot of land many-a years ago. Mary-Beth had shown you this spot the previous week. She often came here when she needed some peace to read.

All evening your mind had been running, and you had barely sensed where you trudged off to until the tips of your boots reached the edge. And there you stayed, alone with nothing but your own whirlwind of thoughts for company, desperately shutting everyone else out. Jenny, Davey, your uncle and now Mac… when would it end? 

“Ah, there you are”. Javier lingered just by the trees behind you, unsure if you wanted company. You offered him a friendly look, one that silently told him his presence wasn’t unwelcome, before returning your gaze ahead towards the landscape of the valley below. He closed the small distance still separating you, slumping down to rest with you on the grassy cliff side. His poncho was tucked neatly around him, but upon noting your short sleeved shirt and the goosebumps adorning your arms, he effortlessly removed it to drape it across your shoulders. The corners of your lips quirked upwards, nuzzling into the soft fabric.

“Thanks”

He’d been looking for you upon realising you still hadn’t returned after disappearing for the entire evening. You had not been this defeated after Davey’s death, and thinking back on your past dynamic and interactions with Mac, Javier couldn’t help the little inkling he got as to why you were this sad. He was about to ask if you were okay, though it was obvious you weren’t, when your voice piped up. 

“I don’t want anyone else to die, Javier”. Eyes widened slightly at your plea, and he propped his leg up to rest his arm atop his knee. Your voice was so fragile , so soft , he wasn’t quite sure how to respond. His mouth worked faster than his mind, offering the only comfort he personally clung to these days. The one truth he’s ever known since crossing the border.

“We gotta trust Dutch, he’ll see us right. He’ll take care of us”. You sighed slightly.

“I know, it’s just… everything that happened, and now Mac..”, you struggled to sort out your thoughts, so you let your voice falter, falling back into silence.

The air was filled with the sound of rustling leaves from the slight breeze running through the valley, only countered by Dutch’s gramophone playing its soft melodies in the distance. The stars above you peaked out from behind any odd clouds floating by. It was a beautiful night, even if mournful. 

“He was sweet on you, you know”, Javier decided to share upon the passing of a few quiet moments, however not quite expecting your response.

You started laughing, and Javier's brows knit together, a confused smile on his face. “ Ay , maybe it’s for the better he’s not here to see that reaction”.  You composed yourself a little, laughter dying down to a small hum. “No, sorry.. yes I was aware. I’ve hardly met a more persistent man in my life. He was always so direct no matter what… I don’t reckon it was hard for anyone to miss”. You stared at the ground, before a smile crept up your lips upon picturing a memory Javier couldn’t see. “Remember the time he threatened to shoot that whole train station northwest of Tumbleweed just cause that one fancy guy bumped into me?”, you let him in on your thoughts with a little laugh and a shake of your head. Javier joined you in your amusement, the memory clear in his mind too. 

“He was a.. what do you call it here again? A Desperado?”. You nodded, humming. “A Desperado, alright”, he mused to himself with a huff. There was no arguing Mac was a violent man, perhaps a bit too much so, but when it came down to the people he cared for, he truly cared. The pair of you fell silent again, Javier fighting the burning question on the tip of his tongue. Mac’s infatuation with you had always been obvious to everyone, but whether or not it was mutual was still in the wind… He couldn’t help it from slipping out.

“You ever sweet on him too?”

A moment passed, then a small smile tugged on your lips once more. “…no, not really”. Javier’s eyes never left your face as he listened. “And I think deep down he always knew that. But he never let up trying, I’ll give him that”. 

“I think Davey knew that too, he was placing bets saying Mac wouldn’t be able to win you over”, Javier recalled, and you looked at him with a raised brow.

“Bets, huh?”. He shrugged, looking away, and you leaned in just a little closer, eyes searching. “You ever put in a bet, Escuella?”. He immediately met your gaze. 

“No no, claro que no ”, he sputtered, almost too quickly. He looked positively staggered at your words. You backed off a little, amused. “I told them it was stupid”. Javier’s arm flicked upwards, almost like a shrug.

“They were always just a bit over the top those brothers, weren’t they”. You looked up at the stars, inhaling deeply. “I do miss him tho. He was caring, in his own special Mac- kinda way”, you hummed, before your smile faltered again. “It’s the same way I miss Davey… and Jenny..”. Javier’s gaze fell slightly hearing their names. “They were family, things feel a lot more quiet ‘round here without them”.

As right on cue, Sean roared out from the campfire far behind you, drunkenly attempting to engage whichever poor unfortunate souls around him, just trying to enjoy a quiet evening. “Ah, come on yous! You know this one!”, he interrupted his own tune when no one joined him, however promptly carrying on with his song.

The pair of you looked over your shoulders towards the noise, Javier rolling his eyes. “You were saying?”

Nudging him playfully you turned your gaze back around.

“Well I at the very least am grateful we got Sean back”

“ Claro que sí , when he’s not chewing our ears off”. You laughed at that, looking at him. 

“Oh I don’t know, times are strange… I even missed his excessive talking”, you quirked a brow.

“I’ll remind you you said that in a few weeks and we’ll see what you think then”, he huffed through his nose, getting up to his feet with a slight strained noise. He motioned towards camp with a flick of his head, and you took a deep breath. Pushing yourself up you wrapped the colourful poncho closer around you to keep your warmth in the chill of the evening, finally rejoining the others in Javier’s silent company.

Chapter Text

The sun had settled over the heartlands a week later in a manner that calmed you from the moment your eyes fluttered awake, all the way throughout the early afternoon you spent on horseback side by side Javier. Birds sang their chipper songs from the treetops and wild puny critters hurried along within the grass at a speed that made the green blades rustle. The atmosphere had reached a level of tranquillity you’ve been soundlessly yearning for ever since your situation went south. Things almost started feeling like old times again. Like the massacre never happened, and you were all simply living your days free of the heavy worries of civilization and its strict rules. 

Yet, barely even a moment after your return from selling the stolen gold at the fence of Emerald Ranch, that peace was broken as Dutch came riding into camp. His reawakened edge a reminder of the predicament you were very much still a part of. That in the grand scheme of things, nothing had changed. Somehow, in some way, the past would always find a way to sneak up on you. To send you off running, yet again. 

With John and an injured Strauss close in tow, Dutch barked out orders for everyone to pack everything and prepare to move. Mood that were once light and mirthful from the newly acquired money clips were once again strained as you hurried along the increasingly familiar routine of filling up the wagons knowing someone was breathing down your necks.

You were surprised when your entourage of wagons headed south-east towards Lemoyne, it being the last place in this region you’d ever think Dutch would even consider moving to. But times were strange, and scepticism was a sentiment you found wouldn’t fester for too long at a time these days. None of you quite had the luxury to be picky. 

Subjected to the oppressing weight of the thickly humid air, the gang now set up camp at Clemens Point. The heat was ever palpable, pressing down on everything like a heavy blanket, making even the smallest movement feel like an effort. Lemoyne . The Scarlet Meadows … You were back in the county of your birthplace. The land where you would’ve grown up to be quite different from who you were now had your mom not passed. Though ‘what could’ve been’ wasn’t something you neither liked or intended to dwell on. Despite your current way of living not being a stable or moral lifestyle by any means, you were content and surrounded by people you cherish. There wasn’t much else you cared for in this cruel life other than that. Though, you admit, it wouldn’t have hurt to grow up to gain some tolerance for this humid climate, it was quite the contrast to anything you’ve experienced before. 

Despite struggling slightly to adjust to the heat, you liked it there. There was something almost safe with the way the water of the Flat Iron lake curved around the campgrounds, and the thick treeline separated you from the openness of the meadows. The seclusion felt like a breath of fresh air, in contrast to the moist atmosphere. The beautiful sunsets and sunrises in themselves were enough to charm you, and within yourself a new flame of hope for your situation ignited. Morale was back up again, and you held onto the somewhat naive faith that you wouldn’t have to move again until you could all head back west like Dutch had always intended.

“I like the new look”. Sadie paused at the sound of your voice, letting her hand clutching the chicken feed fall as she eyed you. “Suits you better than my skirts”, you added amiably, before leaning against the trunk of a tree offering a solacing shade from the sun. She scoffed, smiling, letting go of the grains in her clutch and brushing the remaining dust off her hands. 

“Yeah, it was about time I got myself something of my own”, Sadie’s hands propped by her hips as she eyed her slacks. “These felt more fitting anyway”

“Hey I know the feeling, sometimes a nice pair of pants really makes all the difference. Nevermind what these men say”, you smiled cleverly, pushing your back off the tree, but Sadie’s voice stopped you in your tracks after a few steps. 

“Thank you tho… For lending me your things, I’ll make sure I get it all back to ya”

“ ‘Course, no rush”, you waved it off with a motion of your hand, and she resumed spreading the feed by the chicken coop. Your eyes scanned across the lot. As per usual everyone was doing their own thing. Mary-Beth was sat reading under the shade of the big oak by the water. Little Jack was running around with a long stick, challenging bystanders to duals, while Miss Grimshaw charged around making sure everyone kept up with their responsibilities. Internally, you sure hoped Mary-Beth had finished her chores already. You didn’t feel up for witnessing yet another bickering altercation; Dutch and Molly seemed to do enough of that to go around as of late..

Removing your eyes from the irked woman now trudging firmly towards the oak tree, they found rest at the hitch posts. Or more specifically, at the man currently residing there.

“ Hola ”. The way your name rolled off of Javier’s tongue following his greeting as you approached was as soft as the golden morning light emitted across the camp. He was adjusting Boaz’ saddle.

“Heading off somewhere?”, you inquired curiously, stepping over to gently run your hand up Boaz’ muzzle. Javier’s eyes sought you out from where he was placing an item into his saddlebag. You could vaguely spot a tied piece of fabric, containing something you couldn’t quite make out. Instead of giving you a verbal answer, he swiftly grabbed something resting on the ground next to him, presenting it to you.

“Fishing, huh?”

“Yeah, I met this feller who told me about a couple of spots”, he told you cordially, resuming prepping his bag. “I’ve already checked some of them out, but figured I’d try this last creek too”.

“Sounds nice”. As Boaz leaned into your slow rubs, you let your cheek rest against his muzzle while your fingers scratched lightly at his chin groove. “I’m looking for an excuse to head out soon, I want to get a proper look around this place”, you shared sincerely, eyes flickering around to take in the scenery surrounding your camp. You were yet to really experience what this southern country had to offer, other obligations in camp taking priority. There was little to choose from by the means of clear memories from your short time as a child here, however you wondered if it was anything at all as you remembered it. 

Javier’s gaze sought you out once more, however now it was accompanied by a sudden eagerness in his demeanour. “Well, why don’t you come with me?” 

“Fishing?”

“Yes!”. You lifted your cheek from where it rested against Boaz, your hand moving to mindlessly caress his white-spotted neck. 

“You know… I’ve never actually tried it, fishing was the one thing my uncle did on his own”. Your words seemed to do nothing but spur Javier’s excitement on even more.

“I’ll teach you! Come on, it’ll be fun!”. Even if you had despised the idea, Javier’s sudden and quite audible enthusiasm would’ve been enough to have you surrender instantly. Though, on quite the contrary note, you felt excited about learning to fish. Maybe if you got the hang of it it could be another excuse to head out of camp for other things than jobs or hunting. 

“Sure, why not”

Javier’s lips quirked upwards, and you matched his expression as you turned around, leaving Boaz to get atop your horse. “It’s not too far from here”, Javier assured you once you caught up with Boaz’ pace. “Ringneck Creek, if that tells you anything”. It didn’t, but you still nodded with a gentle look. 

There truly was something about the sun in this country. It was as if it made the greenery even greener and the sky ever bluer. Having had a few days to adjust, the climate started to grow on you too, and you could even argue you preferred this place to your last encampment. 

The duration of the ride was spent taking in the scenery while listening to Javier expertly talking about the smallmouth bass and how this country was perfect for them. You always knew he had a knack for fishing, but you suppose you’ve never really noticed just how passionate he was about it. You couldn’t help but find it endearing, and the way you gave him your rapt attention mirrored the sentiment. 

The small creek was quite the pretty little spot. Enclosed by trees and positioned at the crater of a small hill, it was the perfect spot for anyone looking for some time in solitude. As you hitched your horses, you cursed under your breath once Javier removed his fishing rod from the back of his saddle. Your annoyed hiss made him turn his gaze to you. “What?”.

“I’ve only gone and left the damn fishing pole back in camp, haven’t I”, you answered him defeated, suppressing the hint of timidity flaring across your face. Javier’s confused look turned to one of amusement as he let out a laugh, shaking his head. 

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll share mine. I’m teaching you anyways”, he shrugged, the amused smile remaining as he motioned for you to follow him. You wasted no time trudging after him, looking up at the leaves and branches covering you from above like a blanket, specks of golden rays seeping through the greenery. 

“Here should be good”, Javier settled at a rock hovering a nice height above the water. You joined his side, keenly watching the way he extended the wooden fishing rod. His fingers grasped for the hook, and your eyes stayed on the sharp metal gently clutched between his thumb and index finger while he turned his head to look at you. “Now, fishing is all about the bait. You gotta know what the fish likes. If you got the wrong bait it’s just like trying to lure us using Pearson’s cooking, it’s just not going to work”, he shrugged, and you let out a quiet chuckle, meeting his eyes amused.

“I see”

“So..”, he reached for the tied piece of fabric from earlier that was now attached to his gun belt. “I prepared some crickets here. Try attaching one to the hook”, he instructed, and you reached your hand towards the fabric forming a small bowl. “The fish here usually feed in the mornings and the evenings since that’s when most insects come out”, he further explained, watching you pierce the tiny critter with the hook. “Which should be right about now”

“Yeah, I noticed that much”, you fan away some annoying mosquitoes swarming about the air closeby. Javier hummed.

“Gotta sacrifice some comfort to reap the rewards”

Handing you the pole, he gently placed his hands on your upper arms from behind, guiding you to where he decided would be the best spot. You let yourself be moulded, like you were his very own piece to sculpt and move to his will, as he readjusted your arms and fingers. “Hold the line with your finger right here-”, he softly placed your finger atop the line in the right spot on the rod for you, and you pressed in firmly against it so as to not lose your grip. “-while you lift the pole behind you, and let go of the line once you whip the pole in front of you again”. He took a couple of steps away from you so he wouldn’t be in your way, and you lifted the pole, positioning it behind you. Your finger clutching the line to the wooden pole rolled slightly in its place trying hard not to accidentally slip. In a firm motion you cast the line, only you must’ve done something wrong, the hook crashing into the water not even three steps in front of you. 

“Damn it”, you exhaled sharply, and Javier took some steps towards you. “Now, I don’t know much about fishing, but I know it should go further than that”. Javier hummed once more.

“You let go of the line too late, try letting go once it’s above your head”, he encouraged you. You repositioned yourself, following his advice, and to your satisfaction the hook soared through the air properly this time, landing in the water a fair distance away. “ ¡Bien hecho! ”, he praised, and you couldn’t fight the smile overtaking your lips. “Now, slowly reel the line in, but not too slow”. You tried your best to find a nice pace, and since Javier uttered no protests you figured you had to be doing something right. The line reeled in until the hook was now back in front of you, lifting up from the water. No catch.

Javier quickly noted the slight look of defeat in your eyes as you eyed the lonely cricket on the hook. “A perfect first try!”. You eyed him from the corners of your eyes. “Fishing is a test of patience, just keep trying”, he smiled warmly. With your will now a little more renewed at his words, you cast the line once more. Javier sat down on the rocky ground a few steps away from you. His eyes would wander away from the line in the water every so often to watch you. The concentrated look on your face and the crease between your brows furrowing upwards as you attentively watched the river basin in front of you. Ever since he had met you, there had been few things you didn’t already have some sort of knowledge of. You were the kind of person that would make things look so easy, even if it didn’t reflect how you actually felt on the inside. Quite rarely could you accept not getting something right. To Javier, you could’ve been holding the pole upside down and thrown the line into the bushes for all he cared. Whether or not you caught fish didn’t matter much to him, but the way you were so very visibly trying to get it right stirred something within him. The way you were so immersed learning from his constructive instructions, he couldn’t help but ardently observe you with fond eyes. 

It took a fair few tries before the line started bobbing up and down, a force fighting against the pole. “Javier!”, you exclaimed upon the sudden movements, and abruptly he got up to his feet, swiftly walking over to stand by your right side. 

“Just keep reeling in, but make sure to pause and let the fish tire itself out when you feel it struggling. You don’t wanna snap the line”, he eagerly informed you while you fought against the slippery bastard. Your quirked brows of surprise furrowed once more as concentration overtook you. Some intensive reeling later, a medium sized smallmouth bass desperately wriggled as it broke through the water surface, and you let out a thrilled titter. “Ey, quite the size for your first catch!”, he reached out to grab the line, expertly unhooking it before giving the bass a swift cut of his knife, stilling its frantic writhing. 

You basked in the triumph and adrenaline of a successful capture. Javier turned back to you after putting the fish away into a bag he’d flung on the ground. Your satisfied look made the corner of his lip quirk. “Wanna try again?”. You nodded eagerly, prepping your hook with another cricket.

Only, it looked like your luck had run out, and no more fish seemed to bite your hook no matter how slow or fast you reeled. Letting out a sigh after closing in on your tenth time recasting the line, you lowered the handle to the ground, turning your head to look at Javier still situated on the rock next to you. He gave you an understanding look. “I think that’s it for me today”, you admitted bashfully, walking over to him. “You take over”. He got up to his feet, taking the rod from your hands. 

“Don’t sound so defeated, you did good”, he reassured you, a lingering hand resting on your arm as he passed you. 

“Well, I tried at least”, you hummed in a shrug, settling by the edge of the rock, letting your feet dangle over the water. The sun was getting higher, and more light made its way through the openings within the trees above. 

Time passed in idle chatter, and it was almost ridiculous how often Javier seemed to get bites on his hook compared to your attempts. But it was only natural, and you thought to yourself that it couldn’t just be boiled down to the bait as Javier had so previously claimed. There was very much skill involved, and he was just being humble. After some moments in silence you started walking about the little area surrounding the creek.

There were mostly leaves, dirt and bushes adorning the ground, however as you rounded the water you came across patches of luscious grass in a spot where the streaks from the sun were especially prominent. The temptation wasn’t to be reasoned with, and you laid down to rest atop the cushioning green blades. Eyes closed, soaking in the rays of the golden sun seeping through the leaves, you let your body relax. Your hands rested comfortable atop your stomach. 

From across the water, Javier reeled in his sixth fish. He admitted to himself it took a while to get that one to bite, figuring it was getting a bit too late in the day for the fishes to feed. Looking back up he noticed the absence of the relentless mosquitoes and flies as well. The time must be well into the afternoon by now. After merging the last bass with the rest of your collective, but mostly Javier’s, catches, he called your name. He only got a soft hum back from you in the distance, and immediately his eyes sought you out. He scanned the area a few times before his gaze finally landed on your form lying within the grass. Leaving the bag and the rod, he silently made his way over.

“The Insects are gone so the fishes won’t bite”, he said once he stood by the top of your head, towering over you. “..Do you wanna head back?”. He watched as your eyes fluttered open at that, gentle eyes peering up at him from below. They were a pretty colour, he’d always thought. 

“Soon. I just wanna lay here a little longer?”, your tone formed a question, as if asking him if you could. He wasn’t about to deny you.

“Sure”, he agreed, and content your eyes fluttered closed again. Slightly hesitant, but not lingering too long, Javier lowered himself down to the ground. The lush grass sure looked inviting. He laid down the opposite way as you, though his head found rest next to yours. Raising his arm, he propped the back of his head on top of his left hand that he used almost like a pillow. He crossed his legs at the ankle, idly watching the blanket of trees above you and the blue sky peering through it. The rays of the sun, softened by the leaves, warmed his body. Before he could quite help it, his eyes flickered over in your direction, watching the way the sun illuminated your skin. It looked so soft from the closeness your faces now shared, only countered by the softness of your relaxed expression. Your lids were still closed as you basked in the gentle sunlight, facing the skies above you. He forced his gaze away, finding an anchor in the branch of a tree overhead, where a bird was building its nest. He watched it come and go a fair few times, each time returning with little sticks or straws to add to its roost, before your voice finally piped up.

“How come you won’t tell me what those nicknames you give me mean?”. He turned his head to look at you, meeting your gaze already faced towards him. He smirked.

“You gotta work for it”. You scoffed.

“Work for it, huh?”. He shrugged, the smug smile like glued to his lips. In a fluid motion, you turn around to lay on your stomach, propping yourself up by your elbows as you look over at him still on his back next to you. “Okay then, señor Escuella , teach me something”, you challenged him cleverly, and a charmed glint flashes in his eyes. His gaze moved from yours, back up towards the trees as he thought.

“Hmm, claro ”. A few short seconds later he let out the smallest snicker, his eyes reuniting with yours. “First things first, maybe we’ll start with my name then”. Your brows quirk.

“I ain’t saying your name right?”

“You are…”, still on his back, he propped himself up on his elbows to meet you at eye level, corners of his lips tugging into a smirk once again. “-if it was American”

“Then how do you say it?”

“Escueya”

“What?”

“E-scue-yah”, he repeated, enunciating each parting.

“But where did the L’s go?”.  A quiet rumble escaped his throat in the form of a chuckle. 

“Two L’s makes a y-sound, now come on, try”, he quickly explained before urging you on. 

“Escueyjah”, you tried from memory, only it failed you.

“Escueya”

“Escuaeia”

“Say yes for me”

“Yes”

“Yellow”

“Yellow”

“Yard”

“Yard”

“ Escueya ”

“EscueYAH”, you repeated, a little too forced at the end. He was visibly fighting a laugher, lips quivering slightly as he suppressed a wide grin from forming. 

“Don’t overdo it now”, he teased, and you bashfully buried your face in your hands with a small groan. He nudged you gently with his knuckles to make you look at him again. “Come on, you almost had it. One more time”, his tone was gentle, encouraging. 

“Escueya”, you tried again. Your voice was slightly unsure, making the pronunciation a little wonky, but it was the closest you’d gotten it. Javier smiled. 

“ ¡Excelente!” , he praised you, and you huffed, the corners of your lips upturned. He was just being kind. 

“I think… I’ll just stick to Escuella for now”, you admitted in defeat, and he laughed. 

“Fine by me, preciosa ”

“You say that word a lot, what does it mean?”

“What word?”. Javier lowered himself back down and his head rested against the grass, looking up at the trees.

“ Preciosa ”, you tried your best to mimic his pronunciation, eliciting a little smile to form on his lips as his eyes darted to look up at your face. 

“Precious”, he answered simply, and your brows quirked upwards ever so slightly. Idly playing with the blades of grass between your fingers, you huffed.

“I should’ve probably guessed that, it kinda sounds similar”, you admitted, and Javier shrugged. “Why precious?”

“Cause you can act precious, sometimes”, he shrugged once more.

“ Sometimes , huh?”, you challenged, and he huffed amused, however he didn’t follow up on his statement. A short moment passed in silence as you eyed the grass.

“Teach me something else”, you appealed, however a small rumbling noise coming from your stomach stole both your attention. A gentle puff of air left Javier’s nose as he looked at you. 

“ Tienes hambre ”, he said, hoisting himself back up on his elbows. 

You repeated it. “What does that mean?” 

“You’re hungry”, he nudged you, now properly sitting himself up, turning his head to where he could still look at you. 

You roll your eyes before admitting to it. “How can I not be when we’ve caught so many delicious fish… Or rather you’ve caught so many”. Javier shook his head lightly.

“ Ay , you stop that now. I’m telling you, you did good with the fishing”

“If you say so, you’re the expert”, you retort wittingly. Javier got up to his feet before extending an arm out to you. These days he opted to wear less layers, currently sporting his deep blue vest with a white buttoned-up shirt that had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Small triangular sections of the bottom of his shirt had escaped the confinements of the vest, peeking out to cover the buttons of his pants ever so slightly. He had left his hat with Boaz, and the red necktie was slightly loosened to give way for more air in this hot climate. He really suited this more roughened up version of his style, and you couldn’t help but let your eyes linger on his exposed forearms. His muscles were toned and firm from all the activity that comes along with a man of his lifestyle.

“I do. Now, let’s head back so we can taste these basses. Even Pearson can’t ruin such fine specimens”. You hoisted yourself up to your knees before reaching out, letting him help you up to your feet. Your interlocked hands lingered for a moment, before they slipped out of each other's reach. Javier started walking back to the rock, and you followed close by. 

“We shall see”

~

Javier let you have the honour of handing the fish over to Pearson, who announced his appreciation and excitement so loud Javier could hear it from across camp. It was another calm evening, the sun gracefully setting, casting a fiery light over the camp. 

Guitar in hand, Javier lounged by the campfire. He was strumming the ever familiar tune of ‘Oh, My Darling Clementine ’, letting his thoughts wander. Within the bustle of camp’s evening life he could hear Karen and Susan sing a raunchy song somewhere in the distance, Kieran meekly trying to string a coherent sentence together for Mary-Beth by the coffee pot, Abigail and John yelling something incoherent at each other by John’s tent, and Person singing to himself while he prepared the fishes he was given. 

Some people had come and gone by the fire where Javier currently resided, only Arthur was still there. Though, he must’ve had a long day, his hat was tipped down over his eyes and his breathing soft in his dozed off state. Javier wondered to himself whether or not you would join him. He’d long since noticed you usually did whenever he’d pull out the guitar. Almost like his eyes were on autopilot, he sought you out in the crowd.

From across the lot, his eyes rested on the familiar sight of you. Accompanied by Tilly and Lenny, you sat at the table next to the oak tree by the water, seemingly in deep conversation. The theme of your conversation however couldn’t have been too serious, as the three of you burst out in laughter over something he had no shot of hearing from his seat on the log. Upon observing your wide grin and hearing the sound of your gleeful laughter, he suddenly felt a strong urge to know what had made you laugh so hard you had to wipe away tiny droplets of tears forming in your eyes. Or rather, he wished he was the one who had made you laugh that way. 

When Uncle audibly slumped down on a chair next to him, he forced himself to look away from you, eyes keenly watching the warm flickers of the flames instead. The entire time his fingers had never stopped picking at the strings, the same way his ears now remained listening out for the sound of your cheery voice in the midst of the many busy noises surrounding him.

Chapter Text

“Hurry up, then!”, Jenny called out from the hitch posts. 

“I will, I will”, you yelled back, with a slight shake of your head. “Don’t be so impatient”. You just about caught her rolling eyes before you turned your gaze back ahead, heading straight for your bedroll. 

Hurriedly you dug through your things to find your towel, while behind you, firm footsteps closed in on the compact dirt flooring of your camp in tall trees. Still crouched down and hands searching your trunk of clothes, you sighed. “Jenny, I swear to god, if you can’t wait even just a minute-”, your voice fizzled out once you turned around to see Lenny. He wore a look of surprise at your irked tone, raising his hands in innocence.

“Woah, hang on now”

“Sorry, I thought you was Jenny”, you excused yourself bashfully. He snickered.

“Now I got that”. Fingers clutching your towel, you got up from the ground with a gentle look. Lenny looked from you, to across camp where Jenny and Javier were still waiting for you. “You, uh, you guys doing something?”. His eyes lingered on the brunette a little longer than he’d probably like for you to notice. You smiled.

“Yeah, it’s a warm day, so we figured we’d go for a swim. Jenny hasn’t stopped talking about this waterfall by the lower Montana River ever since we passed thataway a month ago”, you shrugged, seeing how Lenny slowly nodded along while his eyes flickered back to her. Waiting a moment, observing his longing looks, you spoke. “Why don’t you come with us?”. Immediately his gaze returned to you, and you couldn’t quite read his expression.

“What?”

“Come swim with us”, you urged again. 

“Oh, well I…”. You could practically see his mind working overtime for some sort of excuse. You had to suppress a knowing smile. He only needed a push, and you were going to give it to him.

Your hand wrapped around his wrist as you started pulling a surprised Lenny along. “It’s good to get out of camp, come on now!”. Behind you he sputtered out some incoherent words, however you didn’t have to pull him for too long before he started following you quite willingly. 

Javier and Jenny both looked at the pair of you trudging towards them.

“Left for a towel and came back with Lenny, huh”, Jenny smiled. You huffed.

“He’ll come swim too”

“If that’s okay”, Lenny followed your statement.

“Of course it is, the more the merrier!”, Jenny immediately assured him, leaving no room for doubt. She then turned to you with a clever glint in her eyes. “As long as you're ready to go, this girl has kept us waiting long enough”. You audibly sighed, walking away from Lenny laughing softly at her jab at you, hoisting yourself up atop your saddle. 

“Well, let’s get going then”

~

“Shit, it’s freezing”, you hissed, dipping your toe in the stream. Your voice was barely audible through the loud cascade of the waterfall, but the others heard you nonetheless. 

“Oh, come on, it’s refreshing once you get in”, Jenny assured you from the river, her body already engulfed by the water. Lenny trudged past you as if to act casual, yet you picked up on his suppressed shivers. 

Carefully you submerged half your foot in the water, trying to get used to the cold stream. The hesitation had a firm grip on you, and you felt like turning around. Sure it was a warm day, but not that warm. 

A force hitting your back had you let out a strained huff as you clumsily plunged forward, fully submerging in the icy water. Just as quickly as you fell, you reemerged, hearing the laughter of the others, though one in particular caught your attention. Eyes snapped over to Javier still on dry land, snickering with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“You idiot!”, you spat, splashing some water his way which he skilfully evaded. He was stripped down to only his shirt and pants, sleeves rolled up to reveal his toned arms. 

“You just looked like you needed a push”, he shrugged as he freed his hair from its usual tied ponytail. In a swift motion he joined the rest of you in the stream. Letting out your frustration through a firm exhale, you swam over to where Jenny and Lenny lingered. With each swim stroke the temperature settled within, and you internally admitted Javier’s push was rather helpful, however you were not about to tell him that.

The sun had almost set by the time the four of you were back on land, drying yourselves off as best you could. The clothes would have to air dry on your way back. 

Jenny rambled on about something you’d long lost track of, and a shared look with Javier told you he was just as lost. Jenny was a lively girl full of spark and energy. She had enough to go around, and her enthusiasm often rubbed off on the rest of you. As a result of this, it could sometimes be hard to keep up with her even if you paid her your full attention, so you’d long grown used to it. She never seemed to mind too much anyway.

The pair of you smiled the familiar sentiment off. Looking back at her drying her wavy brown locks with her towel, you realised it didn’t matter much if you were lost or not. Lenny was giving her his rapt attention, and in return she was turned towards him as she continued her speech. Javier and yourself could’ve left already and they wouldn’t even have bat an eye. As this continued on you almost did just that, however eventually Jenny’s voice came to a halt as she finished up her story. 

“Damn, I’m hungry as a horse”, she uttered while stretching, arms reaching for the orange sky above. 

Wordlessly, Javier dug through Boaz’ saddlebag, fishing out a handful of pears. One after the other he passed them over to the other two. “You thought of everything, huh”, Lenny said in a subtle praise, taking a bite of his fruit. Javier walked over to where you were sat on the ground, handing you an apple. You smiled as you gratefully took it from his offering hand, touched that he remembered the time you told him you never really cared for pears and made sure to bring you something you’d enjoy. After Countering your smile, he looked over at Lenny, a satisfied look on his face. 

“That’s not all, amigo”, he followed up cleverly, trudging back to Boaz, hand digging through the other saddlebag. Theatrically he pulled his hand back up, presenting three bottles of beer clutched in his raised fist. The rest of you let out impressed hollers as he rejoined you, slumping down in between you and Jenny. 

“Now we’re talkin’”, Jenny contently eyed the bottle now in her hand. Javier handed the other to Lenny and the last one to you. 

“I don’t have enough for everyone cause of our surprise guest”, he eyed Lenny with a smirk. “-but you guys enjoy”, he then shrugged, taking a bite of his pear and turning his head to face the evening sun. 

“Nonsense”. He opened his eyes to peer at you. “You’ll share with me then”, you insisted, handing it to him after taking a small swig. He hesitated for a small moment before giving you a bow of his head and bringing the bottle to his lips. 

“Ya know..”, Jenny broke the silence, smiling down at her bottle. “-this reminds me of this one time years ago when my brother and I stole our daddy’s liquor and went off to get drunk in the woods”, she giggled slightly at the memory, and you all eyed her expectantly.

Peace settled by the riverbank as the four of you enjoyed the setting sun, sharing stories, and eventually once the light was gone and the chill came over you, you set off back towards camp.

~

Early afternoon hustle kept everyone in camp busy as per usual. You had been trying to scout out leads for small jobs for a while but you found out pretty quickly that it was slightly harder to come by in this southern country. Dutch had made it a point to not do anything that would interfere with either the Braithwaites or the Grays, and around these parts it seemed like everything somehow could be traced back to either one. You weren’t quite sure how you felt about two-timing such powerful families, and in their own territory even. Both were crooked and horrible in their own ways, and sticking your noses up in their business didn’t seem like something someone ‘laying low’ should be doing. However both Dutch and Hosea seemed rather confident, and you knew if both of them were on the same page about something, more often than not it had a good outcome for you. You could only cross your fingers and hope your luck had turned.

As a result of the lack of jobs, you spent most days doing chores or hunting prey for Pearson’s mediocre recipes. This day you had completed your chores rather early, and decided to fill your time by taking a dip in the vast lake that enclosed your camp. 

After spending your morning chopping firewood and carrying various heavy bags and buckets, you longed for the relief of washing the sweat and grime off of you. It didn’t help that the sun was especially ruthless today either. You had some time before your afternoon guard duty shift after all, so you quickly made your way to the slightly hidden part of the sandy beach where most of you went to wash yourselves if you didn’t feel like riding off to a rental bath.

The water felt heavenly as it hugged your body, and you let yourself fully submerge. Breaking the surface you ran your hands across your face, removing any stray pieces of hair sticking to your face.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know anyone was here”. You turned perplexed, meeting Javier’s umber eyes. He was turned slightly to avoid looking directly at you. Instinctively you crossed your arms by your chest. You were still wearing your chemise for modesty reasons, however the thin material didn’t exactly leave too much to the imagination once wet. “I was just going to take a quick dip but I can come back later”, Javier quickly followed up upon your lack of response. 

“No it’s okay”. Javier, who had already started trudging off, stopped in his tracks. You lowered yourself slightly further into the water as he turned to you. 

“You sure?”

“Yeah, there’s more than enough room and I’m decent… enough”, you huffed a small laugh through your nose, and he smiled a small smile. 

“Well if you’re sure”, he concluded with a shrug, and returned to the water's edge. You turned a little to give him some privacy, yet your eyes stole a few glances as he removed his shirt following his vest. Javier kicked off his boots and once you heard the sound of the water surface being broken, you relaxed, turning your head again. 

He slightly shuddered from the switch in temperature, but quickly acclimatised, letting out a satisfied sigh. He leaned back to soak the back for his head in the water, eyes closing.

“What a shit day”, Javier uttered from his relaxed position. You quirked a brow.

“Oh?”

His eyes fluttered open, watching you from the corner of his eyes.

“Yeah, John said he sniffed out this good job with the Grays. This old gringo promised us some horses belonging to the Braithwaites was worth five thousand dollars”

“Five thousand for some horses?!”, you exclaimed in surprise. Javier turned from his backwards leaning position to fully face you. 

“That’s what we said too”, he sighed. “But we went and got them either way, sold em to these gemelos idiotas… - twins“, he swiftly clarified upon seeing your confused look. “…for six hundred and fifty”

“Christ…”, you shared his malcontent. “The Braithwaites won’t be too happy their horses got stolen, you think they’ll trace it back to us?”, you couldn’t help but think out loud.

“Hopefully they’ll think the Grays were behind it”, Javier said nonchalantly, yet you noted the slight hint of uncertainty in his voice. 

You eyed him for a bit, studying his expression, before your troubled gaze softened. “Yeah, knowing them they’ve probably made that conclusion already”, you offered him a reassuring crooked smile. 

You took a few steps more away from the shallow end, the water reaching your neck. Javier’s eyes followed your motion. “For what it’s worth, at least you got to head out and do something today, I’ve been stuck here except for the odd trip to Rhodes every now and then”, you shot him a look over your shoulder. His expression mirrored yours as he too took a couple of steps towards the deeper end, once again by your side. 

“Hey, at least you’re making Miss Grimshaw happy, which is keeping her off our case… most times”. You huffed through your nose, a smile playing on your lips.

“So in other words, you guys owe me”, you countered him with a quirked brow. Javier chuckled, looking towards the sunny sky before locking eyes with you again as his laughter quieted down. 

“I suppose we do chica ”

You held his gaze, which seemed to grow deeper the longer you looked. You almost felt as though you were about to fall into the pool that was his umber eyes, set alight by the sunlight dancing on his irises. The soft and steady cadence of his voice pulled you out of it.

“Remember how Jenny would always see how long she could hold her breath for”, he reminisced, inviting you in on the memory. You smiled bitter-sweetly. 

“She always held out longer than me… At least I could beat you”. Javier’s brows raised amused at your words.

“Oh, could you? That’s not how I remember it”

“I sure did. And still can” you claimed confidently.

“Okay vamonos , I’ll show you I’ll hold out longer”.

His challenging tone sparked the competitive side of you that would only appear every once in a while. And no one knows how to provoke reactions out of you quite like Javier does.

In silent agreement you both submerged your heads, mind set on outlasting him, when nimble fingers tickled you at your waist. The air left your lungs as you shot upwards. Javier shortly followed, a clever smile already present on his lips as he wiped the water off his face. You coughed as you heaved for air, shooting him a look.

“Didn’t take you for a cheater Escuella”, you managed to croak out. 

“Cheat? I only said I had to outlast you, and I did”, he feigned innocence. You forced your coughs to a halt, rolling your eyes before sending a splash of water his way. He must’ve not anticipated it as it hit him square in the face. 

“ Ay , what did you do that for?”, he sputtered, wiping his face. You huffed at his professed cluelessness.

“You know damn well what”, you giggled. At this he got a glint of something you couldn’t quite make out in his eyes. Before you could even register what he was doing, you were being hoisted up atop his shoulder. His hands held a tight grip on your waist, and you propped your upper body upwards by pushing yourself up from his bare back. 

“Javier! Put me down”. He took a few steps towards shore, however stopped upon hearing your pleas.  He stood still for a moment, before shrugging.

“ Claro ”

You realised your mistake too late. “No wait-”. Javier had already thrown you back in the water before you could finish your words. Once again re-emerging accompanied by coughs, you heard his gentle laugh. The sound brought a smile to your lips that you couldn’t suppress no matter how hard you tried. “You sly man, I oughta-”, you started saying through small spurts of laughter.

Javier braced himself for whatever it was you were about to do, however Miss Grimshaw’s voice calling your name stopped you dead in your tracks. The pair of you looked in the direction of camp. The atmosphere calmed in an instant.

“Shit, must be time for my guard duty”, you realised. You couldn’t even recall how long you’d been in the water. Javier turned to you. Arms now once again crossing over your chest, you passed the man now eyeing you keenly. “I’ll leave you to get yourself washed in peace”. 

Javier looked like he wanted to say something, however the thought must’ve passed as his furrowed brows smoothed out and his expression turned soft. “Sure, see you later”, he said, followed up by your name, which you swore only he could make sound like a melody. He lowered himself back into the water and you left him there with a smile, gathering your things and trudging back to camp before Susan’s impatient tone had the chance to turn irritated.

~

Guard duty was long and uneventful. Pure elation coursed through your body as you spotted Lenny approaching you, marking the end of your shift. Almost too eager, you  handed him the rifle.

Tired you had made your way back through the woodland path, pouring yourself a bowl of stew and a cup of coffee once you reached the warm atmosphere of the campfire. You ate in the company of Sadie and Abigail, who caught you up on their afternoon adventures, which in truth had been just as uneventful as yours. After spending some time with Jack to allow Abigail to catch up on some of her chores, you took a walk along the water. You found that part of camp to be the most peaceful.

The beautiful sound of guitar strings made you turn your head. Javier was sat with his back leaned against the oak by the beach, closed eyes, playing one of his usual tunes.

The evening sun left a trail of comfortable warmth over your camp. Only Javier’s quiet strumming of his guitar could counter the tranquil atmosphere around you. Silently you walked over to take a seat next to him, and just as quietly you watched his hands work the strings like second nature.

The way his fingers moved was almost mesmerising. His strong, calloused hands accustomed to rough violence and killing moved now with such grace and gentleness you almost reached for them to feel if they were as soft as the motions they currently performed suggested they were. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sight to you, you quite often sat in shared silence as he played and you watched him. 

So you don’t quite know what made you speak up this time. 

“How do you play?”, you heard yourself say, and his hands faltered slightly as he directed his eyes towards you. 

“What?”

“How do you play?”, you repeated your question, however your voice wasn’t as direct this time around. He looked at you confused, like he didn’t understand your question. As if you’d just asked him something that had such an obvious answer it was almost stupid to ask. He had taken it too literally.

“How I play? With the strings of course”, he looked down to his hands before looking back at you, a curt laugh escaping his lips. You processed his answer for a second before it was your turn to chuckle. He looked positively confused now. 

“No, sorry, I guess I meant could… could you teach me?”. Picking at your skirt you awaited his answer, almost wishing you had never said anything at all and could go back to listening instead.

Javier wasn’t one to lend out his guitar all willy-nilly, you knew that. His brows raised ever so slightly, like he was surprised you asked, before he slowly nodded. “Sure”

Carefully he handed you the instrument as you readjusted yourself. You missed the way his lips quirked upwards into the softest of smiles as you eyed the guitar now in your gentle clutch. He positioned himself slightly behind you so he could assist you better.

“What song do you wanna play?” You thought for a second. 

“Oh, what about the one about the angel?” 

“ Ángel de amor ?”. The question rolled off his tongue as soft as butter. 

“Yes! That one and the one with the calendar are my favourites”. Javier’s lips quivered as he tried to suppress a smile. 

“The calendar?”, his voice heightened a pitch at the last word. 

“Yeah” 

“La calandria?”, he asked again. 

“Yes!”, you exclaimed upon the familiar name. He chuckled with his head hung lightly before looking at you. “…that’s not what it means, is it?”, you add, upon noting his reaction. 

“You’re not far off, it can mean that, but in the song it’s a bird”, he thought for a moment. “-a lark ”, he recalled the name. You smiled. 

“Well, you haven’t played the angel one in a while”. Something inside him stirred at your words. He didn’t realise you took such particular notice to the specific songs he sang, especially not to the extent that you would notice which ones hadn’t been sung for some time. He smiled softly. 

“I guess I haven’t…”. Without another word, he adjusted your grip to the correct cord, having you hold the strings while he softly strummed the familiar tune by plucking at just the right strings. “It’s actually not about an angel, but about Cupid”, he shared, and you eyed him keen as he leaned his head over in front of you to adjust your fingers to fit the next cord. You knew you should pay attention to his directing fingers, but you couldn’t find the will to look away from his face. “Angel of love”, he said as he returned his face next to yours again, and even though it made it clear you’d been staring, you didn’t shy your gaze away, eyes only widening at his words. His gaze was just as locked on yours. “- that’s what it means” he then added, plucking at the strings again, though this time keeping his eyes on yours.

His almost honey-pooled eyes from the setting sun kissing his skin felt as though they burned you. Like they saw through every layer of you until your very soul was on full display.

An off-key note had you whip your head towards your left hand, and you realised one of your fingers had slipped. “Sorry” you said bashfully. 

“No, you’re doing good”, he assured you calmly.

He let you try strumming at the strings now, playing on your own while he stayed just as close. The beautiful melody sounded a bit clunky and hesitant from your inexperienced hands.

After some time your fingers started aching a little, and it must’ve been visible on your face as Javier took note of it. “Yeah, you’ll have to build up some more calluses for it to stop hurting”, he said earnestly, presenting his palm to you. You raised your hands up to touch his, feeling the pads of his fingertips. They felt rough, a result of more than just guitar playing you reckoned. Javier eyed your gentle fingers running exploringly against his, his eyes flickering up to watch your face inspecting his hand. “I’m surprised your hard working hands don’t have more calluses already”, he added with a smirk. You huffed smiling, eyes still on your intertwined hands. 

“A lady has her ways”, you shrugged.

You suddenly became all too aware of the closeness, of the sudden pooling and fluttering feeling in the pit of your stomach and the tightness in your chest. Your eyes flickered up to see his already set on your face, running increasingly hotter from his half lidded stare. Your tight chest ached for air, and you felt yourself breathing just a little quicker. His skin looked so soft in the orange hue of the Clemens Point sun, his whole being so inviting. So… tempting. You couldn’t think clearly.

Desperate to rid yourself of the tightness in your chest, you felt yourself let go of his hand. The sudden loss of contact made his gaze break from yours to look down at his now lonely hand, the warmth of your gentle touch still lingering on his skin. You took the small window of no eye contact to collect yourself, carefully handing him the guitar before getting up to your feet. He followed your motions the entire time, eyes and furrowed brows forming a silent question. 

“I, uh, I should go help Tilly, I promised to give her a hand with the laundry. Thank you for teaching me”, you managed to make out a coherent sentence through your hazed mind. His expression stayed the same for a bit, like he was thinking, before he smiled, leaning his weight on his arm propped behind him.

“Anytime”

Without another word you turned to walk away, your lungs finally able to catch up on the air you were so suddenly denied in his proximity, trying to calm the pounding in your chest. Your mind was racing at the same pace as your heart, trying to understand what exactly this feeling was. 

Behind you you could hear Javier had resumed playing the song he just taught you, his voice singing the familiar lyrics going straight to your heart despite the meaning of the words themselves being foreign to you still. Arms crossed over your chest you stopped to turn your head. The oak he was leaning against blocked your view of him as he was facing the water. ‘Angel of love’, you thought to yourself, a small smile slowly appearing on your lips. 

Chapter Text

“That’s a nice size there, got some proper meat on the bone”, Charles praised, giving Arthur a pat on his shoulder. Arthur was crouched down by the buck he’d just shot. He winched and his movements were accompanied by a pained ache. A strained grunt left his throat when he made a wrong motion trying to lift the animal. Swiftly you crouched down next to him.

“Here, let me help you-”

“No, I got it”, Arthur adamantly assured you, doing his best to sound nonchalant, before you could finish. Taking a breath he hoisted the buck over his shoulder with a groan, making his way to his horse with weak yet persistent steps. You and Charles exchanged looks from behind him. 

It had been a bit over a week since Arthur returned from the torturous clutches of Colm and the O’Driscolls. Under the strict supervision of Miss Grimshaw he has spent the time leading up resting, though it ironically left him feeling utterly restless. Charles and yourself had taken it upon yourselves to bring Arthur out for some slow-paced hunting once he felt well enough to walk around without assistance. It would do him good to move around, though he wasn't ready to get back into his usual activities quite yet.

Still, seeing him ache from such mundane movements struck a sympathetic nerve once again. You had all been so worried when Dutch and Micah returned without him, and even though Arthur had eventually explained what exactly went down in that cellar, you couldn’t even bring yourself to fully picture the terror of what he went through. 

Catching up to him, you watched him slump the deer down on the back of the horse, feeling content when he didn’t protest you helping him secure it with a rope. He’s always been a survivor and a fighter, and watching him now you could do nothing but admire his resolve. A faint smile appeared on your lips. Despite how worried you had been, at least he had made his way back to you all, and he was going to be fine.

“I reckon this should be enough to keep Pearson happy for a few days”, Charles noted, eyeing the whitetail bucks resting on the rear of each of your horses. Reaching for Taima’s reins he found his seat in her saddle, looking up towards the sun. It was rather early still, however you’d been at it for hours already, tracking easy prey under the heat of the Lemoyne sun. Arthur seemed to be needing a proper respite back at camp. “We should head back”.

Neither you nor Arthur fought him on that, settling onto your horses and riding off towards the road leading back home. Conversation flowed freely from time to time. You enjoy these rare moments you get with Charles outside of camp. He’s a man of few words, and in the busy hustle of camp he rarely takes the word. Out here however, riding next to you and Arthur in the shade and privacy of the trees he would join in on casual conversation more commonly than if you were surrounded by everyone else. 

Passing by a particularly dense forest area, something stirring within the trees caught your eye. You slowed the trot down to a walk, your change of pace not going unnoticed by your riding companions. 

“What is it?”, Arthur asked cautiously, following your line of sight. Within the green leaves and bushes, men you recognised to be Lemoyne Raiders were packing up some crates loaded with rifles and other firearms. Much like those Arthur and Lenny had brought back from the Raider’s base at Shady Belle some time ago. A little further away by the edge of the modest forest, a small grouping of horses you assumed to be theirs ate from the vegetation surrounding them. An opportunity presented itself in your mind. There weren’t even that many Raiders there, probably about six or seven. If you were smart about it the three of you could definitely get your hands on those crates.

“How much did the firearms you and Lenny got sell for again, Arthur?”, you asked him lowly.

“Well I… I ain’t so sure. A fair bit, why?” He now looked back at you, when he finally realised the idea that was already forming inside your head. He took a breath. “Oh, I don’t know about that”. You look at him.

“Oh, come on, they’re not that many, what do you think Charles?”. You hoped he would agree with you. Charles seemed indecisive. He could get almost anything done if he really had to, however he was weighing whether or not it was worth the risk. 

“Arthur?”, he eventually turned to the man between you. Arthur reached up to rub the back of his neck as he contemplated, but the motion sent a shooting ache to his shoulder that had him wince in pain. He reached up to place the other hand atop his injury. Your brows furrowed into worried folds.

“I can’t say I’m of much use right now” 

“Oh, yeah, of course”, you were swiftly reminded of the current state of things. He might’ve been able to track and hunt harmless animals, but robbing with the possibility of a high-speed chase? No way. Not for now anyway. “Let’s forget it for now”, you quickly dismissed your own idea. You were the first to start moving again, and the pair were quick to follow. 

The subject of Lemoyne Raiders and firearms were quickly dropped for the duration of your ride back to Clemens Point, however it didn’t quite leave the back of your mind, lingering like a festering parasite. 

~

Bill sat by the table closest to the water, musing, grumbling so loud that Javier couldn’t help but pause as he passed him. Eyeing the fussy man, he decided to make an attempt at a little humour. “Hey, what’s wrong Bill?”. Bill immediately looked up to meet Javier’s look. His expression revealed the confusion and curiosity residing inside his mind. “You look, uh, kinda confused, like someone just asked you where the sun goes at night”, he tried to keep his composure, yet he could not suppress the gentle, amused chuckles now leaving his mouth at his own comment. If Bill was confused before, he was positively befuddled now, and it presented itself in the usual grumpy tone of his. 

“What do you mean?”.

As quick as it came, Javier’s small laughter elapsed. He paused for a moment, before letting out a soft puff through his nose. It wasn’t worth it. “Nothing, nothing”, he dismissed simply with a wave of his hand, facing away to resume his original path straight past the man. 

“Yeah, better be nothing”, Bill was quick to assert, craving the last word. Javier stopped dead in his tracks, starting to turn around with an exaggerated puff of his chest.

“Ay, I love it when you talk to me so tough and manly!”, he responded boorishly, taking a step towards Bill. “You know you make me feel like a little Mexican peasant who’s gotta be scared of the big American soldier! ”, Javier presented the last words theatrically, laced with sarcasm. His eyes quickly glanced over to the right to see Arthur, who had stumbled into whatever this little altercation of theirs had turned into. He was silently watching them with a look of both amusement and a slight vexation. Javier barely managed to deliver his remark before Bill got up from his seat.

“Well now, you wanna start something, buddy? ”. His fists were clenched in silent warning, however Javier stayed put, just eyeing Bill with a plain look.

“Why are you always so angry, Bill?”, he then asked him genuine. Bill seemed taken aback by his question. Flustered, he took a few steps backwards until he once again sat down on the crate. 

“You shut up.. Shut up ”. He looked down at the ground now. Javier eyed him for moments more, before seeking out Arthur again. 

“Arthur, why is he always so angry? You got any clue?”

“He’s every right to be angry, he’s been dealt a bad hand”, Arthur defended the man. Both Javier and especially Bill seemed rather surprised by this. “I’d be angry too, you carry on Bill”, he said with a nod and a curt, encouraging point of his arm. Bill looked from Javier to Arthur, slightly apprehensive before he eventually spoke in surprised gratitude. 

“..Thanks Arthur”.

Javer only shrugged, raising his forearms up in capitulation. “Alright, I give up”. He started walking, but soon turned back around to ask Arthur if he had seen you around anywhere. 

By the time he had woken up that morning you were already gone, and when he asked Karen after breakfast she’d told him you went out with Charles and Arthur. At this time he’d seen both of the men, however not even the slightest glimpse of you. Arthur gave the camp grounds a quick scan with furrowed brows, hands resting on his belt.

“Can’t say I have. Last I saw her was when we dropped off the bucks”, he shrugged, before looking back at the raven haired man currently scanning the area again with a slightly anxious look. He reminded him of a lost puppy. “I’m sure she’s fine, Javier”, Arthur decided to add after observing him for a moment, prompting Javier to immediately meet his gaze. 

“Yeah, I know”, he tried to say nonchalantly, however it came out a little unsure. Before he could dig himself deeper into the hole, he finally walked away, moving towards the hitch posts. Running the brush across Boaz’ mane, he tried to rationalise his thoughts. Arthur was probably right, though he simply couldn’t help wondering where you had run off to. What could’ve been so urgent that you disappeared again before he even got the chance to see you after your hunt? 

He did not however need to wonder for long. 

“Christ! I’m sorry Herr Strauss”. Javier turned his head to see you at the other patch of hitch posts across the lot, picking up Strauss’ ledger that he assumed the old man dropped from you bumping into him. You seemed to be in a haste as you swiftly handed the book back to the old man uttering surprised assurances that he was fine, walking away before Strauss could even properly finish his sentence. 

Watching you look around with determined eyes, Javier’s expression relaxed as they locked with his. He was debating whether or not he should walk to you or just call you over, but stopped himself when you hurriedly walked straight towards him.

“ Hola linda- ”, he began greeting you with a smile, however his relief from seeing you quickly turned to confusion as you grabbed his wrist and pulled him with you to stand a little further away from any prying ears. “Hey, what’s going on?”, he asked hushed, a little concerned now from your approach. You looked to the direction of the treeline for a second and he almost followed your line of sight but you stopped him by finally speaking up.

“Okay so I need your help”. Javier’s brows only furrowed more at your request, it didn’t help his unease.

“With what? Where have you even been this whole time?”

“Charles, Arthur and I came across these Raiders packing up some crates of firearms earlier. Arthur obviously ain’t well enough to get back out there like that yet, so I went back by myself after we dropped off the deers”

“You went back and stole their rifles alone ?”, Javier interrupted you with a tone as perplexed as his expression, hurriedly eyeing you from head to toe, as to assess if you had any wounds. 

“No, relax, I'm not an idiot… I stole their horses ”

“Their horses?”

“Yeah, they had this grouping of seven to eight beautiful horses outside of the trees they were hiding in. Quite stupid of them actually, it was rather easy to go grab a few”, you shrugged, Javier’s bewildered expression didn’t let up. 

“Well.. what do you need help with?”

“I was thinking of what to do with them, then I remembered those brothers you told me about a few weeks back”. Javier huffed with a ‘tsk’ at the mentioning of the pair. “-hey I know what you think of them but-”

“They’re fools”

“Yes, but we’ll get more from them than we’d get at a stable, these horses ain’t got no papers”, you plead your case once again. Javier looked towards the trees behind you and reached up to run his hand over his mouth, thoughtfully rubbing his chin a few times. “It’s already done, I can't exactly go back and return them, can I? Now come on”. Softly you captured his hand between yours, gaining his attention again. His brows were raised as his eyes wandered from your interlocked hands to your gaze seeking his. “Please?”.

Javier could never deny you, not even if he wanted to. He used to tell himself that he’d help anyone he respected around here with anything in a heartbeat, and that was all there was to it. But now… with you … Well he wasn’t so sure it was that simple and straightforward of a reason anymore. His heart picked up the pace, and he shook himself out of the stare he was unknowingly holding, before slipping his hand out of your grasp.

“ Claro , just, uh, show me the horses”, he then said after clearing his throat. A grin spread across your lips as you motioned for him to follow you through the woodland path separating your little camp sanctuary from the rest of Lemoyne. 

“There you are! I was starting to think ya just left me watching these horses to take the piss”, Sean said upon seeing you emerge from the trees. He was holding the reins of the four horses in each hand. 

“Is he coming?”, Javier asked, a little unimpressed. 

“Calm down shiny boots , I don't even know where yous are going…”, Sean then looked to you, a little hopeful. “Am I coming?”. You shook your head with an apologetic smile as you took the reins from his hands.

“No, two is more than enough”, you looked at the ginger with a knowing look. “And you’re also still on guard duty, you know”.

“Alright, suit yourselves”, he said like it didn’t matter to him, trudging off with the rifle in hand. 

“Thank you Sean, we’ll be back a little later”, you called out after him, receiving a couple of aloof ‘yeah yeah’-s in return. Javier eyed the stolen horses, letting out a short, impressed whistle. You beamed at him as he reached out to pat the mane of the closest one to him, content.

“I know, right? These are fine horses, too fine for them to have bought. I bet they stole them from a third party we don’t even know about”. You were quite right about them being quality horses; a Palomino Dapple American standardbred, a Chocolate Roan Dutch Warmblood, and a Brown Leopard Appaloosa. But the one you were most excited about was the Dark Bay Turkoman. “We’ll get a nice amount for ‘em”, you pat the rich coloured coat of the turkoman. 

“I think at least a hundred to two hundred per horse”, Javier thought out loud through his inspection.

“We’ll have to cross our fingers”, you say in anticipation, getting atop your horse. 

“Let me just grab Boaz-”

“Just ride one of them there, less horses to drag behind us”, you suggested, meeting his gaze. You answered his internal question before he could even speak it out loud. “We’ll just share my horse back”, you shrugged. Javier only uttered a ‘sure’, seeming rather content when he got himself atop the Brown Leopard Appaloosa. 

“So where is the horse fence?”, you asked him once you reached the dusty trail. 

“It’s just down the road here, Clemens Cove”. You face him briskly.

“It’s that close? I thought it was further away”. Javier smiled with a hum. 

“No, it’s by that old run-down house over there”, he points to a ruin amidst the stone fences in the far end of the grass field. You squint your eyes and lean forward.

“Huh… Well that was rather anticlimactic, wasn’t it”. Javier chuckled softly at your words. It didn’t take long before you both stopped in front of the building in question. You looked around, assessing your surroundings.

“At least it’ll be quicker this way, we won’t draw too much attention”, Javier said from behind you, gathering the horses. You walked a few steps forward, looking for any signs of the Davis brothers. 

“Hey Javier, I don’t see anyone here”

At that he joins you by the back of the building structure, giving the place a scan of his own. “They should be here.. Let’s just stick around for a bit”. The pair of you move all four horses to the back so they wouldn’t be visible from the dirt road up ahead, before settling on top of a stone fence. You waited a while, some of it in silence, some of it talking nonsense about random bypassers on the road up ahead.

The comforting golden rays of the sun were slowly disappearing as heavy grey clouds closed in. 

“Shit, I hope it won’t rain”, you muttered looking up, and Javier followed your gaze.

“Well look who’s here Clive”, a voice unknown to you cut through the increasingly humid air. You both turned your heads towards the man brusquely. Him and his brother were trudging over from the road leading to Rhodes, eyeing you with visible interest. “The Cuban lover, and…”. The man paused expectantly, waiting for either one of you to tell them your name. From beside you you just about managed to catch the small sigh Javier let out. 

Taking a step towards them, Javier presented you before you could even open your mouth. 

“A pleasure, miss. I’m Clay, and this is my brother Clive”.

“They don’t like Cubans”. Javier’s tone was passive, and you could tell he just wanted this entire transaction to be over already. The rim of his bowler hat was angled slightly down as it is whenever he’s uninterested in having a conversation. You eyed him with a raised brow at the random piece of information. There was clearly something you’d missed from their previous encounter. 

“Indeed we don’t”, Clay agreed with a clever look. “Now, miss , got some horses for us?”. You looked to Javier, who motioned for you to take the lead.

“I sure do”, you made them follow you to the back. Javier lingered behind by the stone fence, keeping his distance, though with a watchful eye. 

“These are some nice horses”, Clay concluded after a swift inspection. “No papers I’m guessing?”, he eyed you, and as you shook your head he smirked. “I’ll give ya six fifty for the lot of ‘em”

“Is that your standard price or something?”, you heard Javier say irked from the stone wall, and Clay looked at him with a vexing little laugh. 

“Still as funny as last time, ain’t he Clive”. You cross your arms, looking between the men. Clay then turns to you. “Since I like ya, and it’s your first time dealing with us I guess we can add a little extra.. These are some fine specimens afterall”, he pat the brown muzzle of the Chocolate Roan Dutch Warmblood. “How about… six eighty”, he held out his hand to you. Carefully you eyed it, your arms staying put in their crossed formation.

“Seven hundred and I’ll throw in the saddles too”, you said firmly, presenting your own hand. Clay’s smile dropped ever so slightly, before it came back even wider accompanied by his distinct laughter. He looked to his brother.

“Oh I like her”. Clive didn’t respond, naturally, though he mirrored Clay’s amused expression. Gaze back towards you, he grabbed your hand in a shake. “Seven hundred it is”. Finally you returned his smile, walking back to Javier contently with your hand clutching the stack of bills. “Nice meeting ya, don’t be shy coming back!”, he called out after you.

Javier held the gate open for you, and with the palm of his hand resting against your lower back, he ushered you away with him towards your horse. By this time the sun was fully masked by the clouds looking angrier by the minute. Low rumbling in the distance warned of an incoming thunderstorm.

Javier had already sat himself in the saddle, offering you a hand. You took it with little to no hesitation, wrapping your arms around his waist once you found a comfortable seat behind him.

“Well that went… well ”. The transaction had gone quite smoothly, though you understand now why Javier was so hesitant to return. They were a strange pair.

“Better than when we went there”, Javier hummed. “You handled yourself just fine there, belleza , don’t know why you needed my help”. He turned his head slightly to look at you through the corner of his eye, the corner of his lip quirking into a smirk. 

“Cause I didn’t know where to go and with you there I knew they wouldn’t try to rip me off…”, you said as you looked at him, however you looked off to the side and rested your cheek against his shoulder so as to hide your face running increasingly hotter before you spoke again. “...also I rather enjoy your company”. You felt his body stiffen slightly in your hold before it relaxed once more.

The rain had started trickling down from the skies above, for now in soft patterns. The cold droplets ran down your intertwined forms making your way down the road.

“Do you now? That’s good, cause I rather enjoy yours too”, he eventually said with his clever little smile audible in his tone, and your heart skipped a beat as you smiled into his shoulder. You both knew this already of course, but there was something about hearing it being conveyed through verbal affirmations, especially with how your pulse has quickened and heart has fluttered whenever you see his face or hear his voice around camp lately. That familiar stir in the pit of your stomach appeared once again.

“Javier-”

“Ain’t you in the wrong place, greaser ?”. As abruptly as Javier brought your horse to a stop, you halted your speech. You both looked to the jarring, interrupting voice, eyes narrowing slightly at the sight. Blocking the road ahead of you were four men all wearing a signature mustard yellow neckerchief. Lemoyne Raiders …

“Excuse me?”. Javier’s voice had an edge to it, and you could feel how his body tensed up.

“You heard me”, the particularly filthy looking man who spoke earlier said snidely. You could tell from the way Javier's entire demeanour stiffened that he was doing the utmost to compose himself. He’d long learned it was best to not let such comments get under his skin in certain situations, however that didn’t mean it came without effort. 

“Where I am is no business of yours”, he eventually spat, giving your horse a soft kick with the stirrup. He was done indulging them. “Evening to you”, he added in an attempt to de-escalate, however the men were nowhere near as done with this holdup as you were.

“Now hang on just a minute”, the man spoke up again while raising his arm, his tone so obnoxious it had no trouble being heard over the sound of the rain now pouring down in buckets from the clouds. The three other men blocked your access to the road once more, while the fourth moved his horse to stand next to you. “I’m sure we’ve seen this one before”. He squinted his eyes to see you better through the rain, seemingly finding what he was looking for. As you got a better look at him in return you realised you’ve seen these men before. This very same day in fact.

“You must have the wrong woman”, Javier curtly stated, his tone a silent warning, matching the threatening look in his eyes as he turned your horse so the man couldn’t look at you so closely anymore. “Now let us pass”, he stared daggers into the man, hand resting atop his main-hand holster facing the rest of the men.

“No.. no I’m certain she’s the one who decided to sneak up on us with her slippery little fingers.. You made a big mistake showing yourself out here again, miss”, he now directly addressed you. You kept your hard stare while carefully sliding one arm away from Javier’s waist, finding your gun. The atmosphere was so tense you could cut it with a knife, one singular wrong move from any party and bullets would start flying. “You see, we don’t appreciate horse-thieving bitches ‘round here in Raider territory”, he spat, aiming his gun, however Javier was quicker.

In the matter of a second the familiar ringing of a gunshot spread across the field, replacing the relentless noise of the rain. The man slumped lifeless on the ground, a red, fleshy hole gaping where his face once was. The very next moment your horse was in motion, galloping in the opposite direction of your camp. The three other men, now violently agitated, followed in hot pursuit. You pulled out your pistol and turned to shoot, however the thick rain acted like a blurred curtain now that there was some distance put between you. It would make it easier to slip away, sure, but in return much harder to aim right. 

That didn’t stop the growling men from trying though, swooshes of bullets zooming past you seemed never ending. They closed in ever so slightly and you were not about to waste your chance. Firing mercilessly, you managed to hit one of them in his shoulder and abdomen. He bent over on his horse in pain, screaming out excruciatingly as his steed slowed to a trot. The remaining two men looked back at him, resulting in their own horses falling ever so slightly further behind you.

“Hold on!”, Javier called out loudly through the rain hitting his face relentlessly. You tightened your hold on him as he reached the train track, making a harsh turn north-east in hopes of throwing your pursuers off. He kept his course, abandoning the paved roads and riding out across a grass field.

Gunshots resumed in the distance, no doubt they figured out you’d turned somewhere in this direction, however the span told you they had been thrown off just long enough for the two of you to shake them off your trail if only you kept this pace up. 

From beneath you your horse stirred and whined, understandably startled. “Calm down girl”, you tried to soothe, however you weren’t even sure your voice could be heard through the thunder rumbling. It probably didn’t sound as soothing as you attempted it to be anyway. “Easy now”.

It was all too much for her when a lightning struck down on the other side of a nearby hill, sending out a particularly frightening roar. She got up on her hind legs with a screech, and the force of it was so unexpected that you couldn’t even catch yourselves. Both of you fell to the ground with pained groans, feeling the trampling of her hooves in the dirt as she ran off spooked. Clumsily you got up on all fours, whistling for her and calling her name, but there was no use in this weather.

“We gotta move”, Javier insisted, pulling you up from the ground without waiting for a response. He pulled you along after him, and together you sprinted towards a familiar treeline, away from the sound of bullets piercing the air behind you. 

Once behind the shrubs, Javier pulled you down with him to crouch behind a tree. “Stay down”, he whispered, eyes keenly surveying the area where the Raider men would undoubtedly emerge from soon. You did the same, not moving a single muscle until you saw the men ride past, seemingly oblivious to the fact that you were no longer on horseback, and now currently hiding in the forest surrounding Ringneck Creek.

A few more minutes passed before Javier’s tense shoulders relaxed, and he released the breath he had been holding. Carefully you got up from your position, the man next to you doing the same, tiredly supporting himself against the tree by propping his forearm against it. You both remained silent for a moment, letting yourselves process and think about whatever the hell just happened, and what to do next. The thunderstorm seemed to be passing, only a bit of heavy rain left, which also seemed to gradually let up by this point. 

You had no idea where your horse went and there was no way of knowing if the raiders were looking for you in the area between here and Clemens Point.

“Right, so I don’t reckon we’ll be able to get back to camp the way things are looking right now”, you break the silence. Javier turns to look at you. He seemed to be in his own thoughts for a moment before he ran his hand across his drenched face.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same.. We should set up camp here tonight, down by the water. There’s no way they can spot us from up here”. He was right, the downwards slope to get to the little pool of water perfectly concealed you from any prying eyes of bypassers up in the fields. The thick treeline also helped out immensely in this circumstance, especially since you came to find the leaves above had kept vast sections of the ground and vegetation beneath it mostly dry from the storm. 

You wasted no time collecting any fully dried sticks and branches you could find to make a small fire. Quickly after the pair of you had descended the slope and the adrenaline had worn off, you finally started feeling the uncomfortable effects of your completely soaked clothing. The fabrics stuck to your skin and slowly started sending cold chills through your bodies. 

Under the protection of the trees and with the fire crackling, you both removed any pieces of clothing you could spare without being too indecent. The dim light from the sun that had been hiding behind the dark clouds was long gone as night settled over you. You hung your skirt and shirt over a branch to dry, kicking off your boots and peeling off your stockings to dry them as well. Javier removed his grey vest and white shirt, following your lead with his boots and socks too. Quietly you found a seat on the ground by the fire, feeling the relief of its delicious warmth spreading atop your skin and drying the damp chemise you were still wearing. You closed your eyes, only opening them when you heard Javier walk past you to take a seat across from you. 

None of you really knew what to say, and for the first time since you could remember, the silence between you didn’t fully feel comfortable. It was clear Javier was bothered by something, or at the very least plagued by some thoughts of some kind. He wouldn’t fully meet your eyes, and his jaw was clenched. After some time you had hoped he would take the word, however the wait was getting too unbearable.

“What’s the matter?”. At the sound of your voice he immediately looked up. He stayed silent for a moment more.

“That was reckless”

“What was?”

“Taking those horses alone… showing yourself to them”. Your brows furrowed at that.

“Well we all got to do spontaneous things every now and then-”

“What if you were alone just now, huh?”, his arm flung out to the side in a frustrated motion. “That was not spontaneous, that was just reckless-”. You didn’t even let him finish before you got up from your curled up position, towering over him from the other side of the fire.

“-Hell, everything we’ve been doing lately is reckless, you’re acting as if this was somehow different than you, Marston and Morgan going off to steal straight from under the Braithwaites’ noses!”, you said passionately, raising your arm demonstratively as if you were pointing towards the Braithwaite plantation house. At this he got up from the ground too, taking a step towards you.

“It is different”. You scoffed with your arms crossed and turned around. Needing some space you took a few steps away from him towards a nearby tree. Not that it helped much when Javier followed you with adamant steps.

“If anything this was much less impactful in the grand scheme of things, how is this different ?!”, you said as you turned abruptly, jumping slightly at how close he suddenly was.

“Because you could’ve-”. He didn’t finish the sentence. You took another step back, almost fully against the tree now. Javier reached his hand out and you almost thought he would place it on your cheek, but it passed your face to make contact with the barked trunk behind you. 

Trapped between him and the tree, you stood perfectly still. His nostrils were flared and his eyes flickered up and down, swapping between looking at your face and the ground. For a moment everything froze, the only sound heard and movement noticed was the firm breathing from both of your rising chests. 

“I could’ve what?”, you speak softly, yet insistently. His eyes met yours once more, and you could have sworn his face was even closer than before. 

“You could’ve gotten hurt”, he finally adds the missing piece. Your eyes widened ever so slightly.

“That’s not a reason”, you persisted, and he exhaled sharply.

“I don’t want you to get hurt”. You swallowed thickly, refusing to let your eyes falter from his, though after a moment you were unable to stop them from wandering down his face to rest on his lips instead. He was just so close . Voice slightly unsteady now, you repeat yourself.

“Still not a reason”. At this he let out a small, frustrated laugh.

“Ay, niña tonta y hermosa, don’t you see?”

“See what?”. You could hardly process your own words, let alone his. He only looked at you, and so you tried again, his name coming out in a soft whisper. “Javier-”

The back of your head hit the rough bark of the tree with a surprised yelp as his lips crashed into yours. 

Taken back by his sudden action, your eyes remained wide open as he cupped your cheeks. His soft lips moulding against yours sparked a sleeping ember within you that now lit up into roaring flames. Eyes closing, you all too quickly leaned into the feeling, melting into his desperate worship of your lips. The gap between your bodies closed in an instant as he pressed you impossibly closer against the tree.

Your cold, nimble hands ran exploringly up along his torso, causing him to shiver under your touch. Your fingers found refuge in his hair, feeling the dark, soft and slightly damp strands encapsulating them. Javier removed a hand from your cheek to place it against the tree before adjusting his leg, positioning it between yours. Slowly he leaned into it, the pressure roaming higher and higher up your inner thighs until it reached that aching spot. You gasped lightly against his lips, and he took it as an invitation to deepen the kiss.

His tongue danced deliciously against your own, and you thought to yourself you had tasted nothing quite as sweet as this.

You slipped a hand out of his hair to run it along the arm that was supporting him against the tree, reaching up behind you to anchor it firmly atop his. This was all already enough for your body to desire more, and you found enough leverage in this new position to shamelessly grind yourself on his thigh pressed so tightly against your throbbing pussy. 

Javier let out a shaky breath, feeling the way you rubbed yourself against his straddled leg. He pulled away from your lips enough to look at you through half-lidded eyes. His expression did little to nothing of hiding his dire hunger for you. “ Mierda, no sabes lo que me estás haciendo ”, he spoke between breaths, his face nuzzling into yours in a desperate yearning to stay close. You didn’t know what he was saying, yet you couldn’t find it in you to ask. Your thoughts no longer made sense, and everything inside your mind ran at such a fast pace you could hardly keep up. This feeling was all-consuming. Javier was all-consuming, and you realised you wanted just that. To have all of him. 

He dipped his head back down to reconnect your lips, all while the hand that still resided on your cheek traced pretty, little patterns down your exposed skin. You shivered under the mercy of his wet tongue darting out to lick your lower lip, before his mouth moved to kiss along the previously drawn line of his finger down your neck. Tilting your head, you couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped your parted lips when Javier latched onto the very nook of your neck, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin. You felt him smile against your supple flesh. His hand had continuously moved downwards, sneaking up under the hem of the chemise to freely roam back up to your exposed chest. While his tongue blessed your neck, he ran a nimble thumb across your nipple. Another gasp forced itself out of your lips. He started gently rubbing at your perked nipple, flicking it until the sensitive nub sent waves of chills through you.

“ ¿Sí?” . His tone was almost innocent sounding if it wasn’t for the obvious cleverness hidden beneath. He didn’t even really need to ask to know that you enjoyed the feeling, he only wished to hear you admit it.

“Yes”, you said breathlessly, and it was his turn to let out a poorly suppressed whimper. 

“ Me vuelves loca, mi hermosa ”. His hand slid down from your breast, stopping at the hem of your chemise once again, bunching the fabric into his fist. Slowly he started lifting it, gaze finding yours in a voiceless question. Without hesitation you removed the material yourself, discarding it on the dirt woodland flooring. Retracting his leg from between your thighs, he gently reached for the waistline of your bloomers, and with a simple tug they fell down to your ankles. In front of Javier’s heavy, mesmerised gaze, you stood completely bare for him. “ Ah, tan divina ”, he praised softly, repeating the words like a prayer as he ran his hand down your side, soaking in the sight of how your flesh formed under his touch. The serene waves of pleasure from your previous straddle of his thigh lingered still. Your breath hitched in your throat; this was almost unbearable and you craved for some sort of relief. You needed more.

“Javier”. Immediately you had his attention. He waited for you to speak, but you didn’t trust your own voice. Hands finding his waist, you started unbuckling his belt. His eyes flickered down for a moment, his jaw slack as his mouth fell slightly open. He made no move to stop you as you moved on to the buttons of his jeans, neither of your eyes faltering from the heated gazes you were exchanging. Javier’s eyes were so heavy with lust, you were not sure how your knees didn’t buckle from being on the receiving end of their fierce stare. His breathing was uneven, and you could practically hear the anticipation in each breath. As you fickled with the buttons, you felt the warm hand resting on your hip wander towards your core. The buttons were pried open, yet your hands froze, grasping at the fabric as his calloused fingers slowly moved along your slit. 

His forehead crashed into yours, eyes closed, as he cursed under his breath. “ Tan mojada ”. You exhaled breathily as Javier started moving his fingers back and forth. “So wet for me, huh?”, he said in a yammer. You could only nod in a pathetic attempt to keep yourself composed. “ Ay, mi belleza ”. Your head was spinning, and you lost all strength in your hands as the pants slipped right out of your grasp, falling to the ground with a thud. Your arms found support around his neck as you pulled him in closer, capturing his lips once more. 

Javier only quickened the pace of his fingers rubbing merciless circles on your slick, hardened clit, before smoothly entering a digit into your weeping pussy. You whimpered against his tongue which in turn only egged him on further. He promptly inserted another finger, pumping them in and out, up and down along the sleek walls until your skin started prickling in pleasure. “So good”, he praised, pressing himself impossibly closer to you. Through closed eyes you felt his hard cock against your stomach, just as you felt the way Javier started thrusting into nothing ever so lightly, lost in the moment, seeking any sort of relief for his pleasure-hungry ache. “ Tan, tan buena ”.

One of your arms slid down from his neck, a deliberate hand cascading his chest and abdomen, before carefully running exploringly along his throbbing length. Javier jerked slightly by your touch, groaning against your lips. As your thumb swiped over the tip, he hissed, your name then spoken in a moan. You broke the kiss with small breaths for air. 

“More”, you uttered in an exhale.

“ ¿Qué?” , he asked in Spanish, mind too fogged to translate. Lips moved to kiss you by your ear, and you found it hard to find your voice again as you leaned into it.

“Fuck, I need more… please ”

“Yeah?”. You swore that tone of his would be the death of you. His flushed and breathy voice, with that slight croak laced within it as he worshipped every part of you, inch by inch. You hummed as you nodded, and he backed away from your ear to rest his forehead against yours. His smile was sweet yet so full of desire as he looked down where your bodies connected, removing the two fingers now coated in your slick. Instead of wiping it off, he grabbed a firm hold of his cock, spreading it along the shaft as he gave it a few pumps with his hand. Your breathing quickened at the sight.

He reached for your leg, lifting it up by the knee to hook it around his waist. You lifted your pelvis away from the tree to give him better access, supporting yourself by gripping at the barked surface behind you. 

Carefully, he inserted the head inside your entrance. Slowly, and almost agonisingly so, he pushed himself further in as you adjusted to his size. His hand still residing on your raised leg grabbed at the flesh of your thigh. His other hand found comfort on your cheek, thumb caressing you while he whispered sweet, foreign words you couldn’t understand. 

Your hands clawed at the raw bark, seeking some sort of grounding. It was a sweet pain that would turn blissful once you managed to relax fully. And so you grabbed the wrist of his hand on your cheek, revelling in the feeling until his pelvis was fully flushed against your own. Javier stilled the movement for just a moment, letting the sensation settle, before he started thrusting with more purpose than before. 

Your eyes fluttered open to meet his fierce gaze, and your quiet whimpers turned louder as he gradually picked up the pace. Javier’s caressing thumb moved from your cheek to your lower lip. He pulled it down a little before diving down with a delighted grunt to devour your lips once more. “ Tan buena para mi ”.

As he fucked himself deeper and deeper into you, your hands caressed any piece of him they could reach, seemingly urging Javier on even more. “No sabes cuanto tiempo te he anhelado”, he sighed through his groans. “Tan perfecta”, he nuzzled his nose against your cheek. “Tan magnífica”. Your skin was overtaken by goosebumps from his words, even if their meaning remained a mystery. The way he spoke them was as addicting as the strongest of morphines, and you knew if you ended up having to listen to them spill from his lips for all eternity then you were indeed in heaven.

Javier was not blind to the way your body responded to his words, and his heart stirred while blood rushed right down to his already hardened cock. “ Te gusta cuando hablo español, ¿eh?” . You moan as he thrusted into you slightly harsher. “Do you?”

“What?”

“Like it when I speak spanish”, he finally translates. You were gazing into the forest surrounding the two of you as waves of intense pleasure kept washing over you, however Javier took a grip of your chin, redirecting you to face only him. “Do you?”.

“Yes”, you admit with a nod. He did not let go of your chin, only moving his head to where his lips were right next to your ear as he kept pounding into you.

“ ¿Te excita? ”, he followed up in that seductive tone that you vowed could end you. You kept nodding though you weren’t sure what exactly you were admitting to. “ Dilo ”. Now that you understood.

“But Javier, I don’t under-”

“ Dímelo, cariño” . He urged you again, sucking gently at your earlobe. Your best guess was that he asked if it excited you, which by God it did. So you quickly indulged him.

“Yes, yes!”, you cried out, head spinning from the sheer intensity of the pleasure building up inside you. Hearing your breathless wails as you answered him elicited a row of curses to spill from Javier’s lips.

“ Ay dios ”, he sighed deliciously into your ear. “ Mi querida ”. You felt it before you could see it, his thumb now rubbing relentlessly against your aching clit. The pressure was building up so quickly, and you grasped at him desperately for support. 

“God, yes!”, you said strained, accompanied by uncontrollable whimpers as you felt your inevitable release approach. “Feels so good”. Javier was breathing heavily, each breath full with fervour. 

“ Tan bonita... Siempre eres tan dulce, cielito lindo”, he said so tenderly through his ever growing pleasure. As you reached your peak, you cried out in pure ecstasy, while Javier’s breath hitched in his throat from the way you squeezed him. 

“Javier”, you whined as you rode out your high, and he almost choked on clean air as the breathy sound of his name falling from your lips so passionately sent full body shivers coursing through him. It was all too much. 

“ ¡Sí! Yes, say it again, just like that”. The pace in which he thrusted himself into you was close to ruthless, and you could hardly form a single thought. The only thing you knew was him . Only word present in your fucked-out brain was Javier . “ Di mi nombre, hermosa, sé que puedes hacerlo ”. It was clear by the strain in his voice that he was trying to hold himself back. His words evoked a gasp from your throat, and you immediately folded.

“Javier”, you repeated over and over, and you didn’t even stop when he crashed his lips against yours. You felt so overstimulated, it took everything in you to keep yourself upright.

“Oh cariño ”, he moaned, slipping out of you so he could spill his release atop your lower abdomen. As he came down from his high, you both breathed in heavy unison, calming your racing hearts. Your leg fell down from his waist softly, and carefully you tried to straighten yourself up. If it wasn’t for the ecstasy and adrenaline still coursing through you, you’d already be feeling the soreness from your careless position against the harsh bark, however your limbs felt like jelly and your skin prickled with pleasure. 

Javier’s breaths finally calmed as the effects of his orgasm stilled. His head was slightly hung when his eyes peeked up to look at you. Meeting them you smiled softly, which he quickly reciprocated, leaning forward to rest against your forehead once more. 

After lingering for a moment, Javier went to pick up his neckerchief, which he used to carefully wipe your stomach clean of his spill. You were initially stunned by this as he always takes such particular care of his clothing pieces, and you would have never imagined him using it as a rag. However you let him care for you, eyes closing fondly as he put a finger under your chin and placed a tender kiss on your forehead after you thanked him. 

Wordlessly you got dressed again, and by the time you laid down on the ground to rest, Javier had already fed the dying embers of the little fire, the flames roaring anew, emitting warmth and a comforting light. Your eyes felt heavy as you looked over to see Javier lie down next to you. The orange and amber hues of the flames danced across his skin, highlighting every subtle movement of his gentle expression as he watched you too. The slow rise and fall of his chest was almost enough to lull you to sleep, so when he rolled over on his side to move some of your hair out of the way to freely and softly caress your face, your eyes fluttered close as you drifted off to heavenly sleep.

Chapter Text

Waking up by the creek, the first thing you noticed was the soft, melodic sound of birds chirping. Their songs were gentle and rhythmic, filling the air with a sense of tranquillity. 

As your eyes opened, the dappled sunlight filtered through the leaves above, casting warm patches of golden light onto the forest floor where you laid. Each beam of sunlight was soft and welcoming, gently caressing your face.

You looked around while sitting up, tiredly wiping your eyes in an attempt to wake yourself up properly. A few faint wisps of smoke lingered in the air, barely visible. You gazed upon the remnants of the fire behind you. The pit was now a scattering of cold, grey ash, the remains of charred logs lying in brittle, blackened pieces. 

It was then you remembered why you were in this forest to begin with, and also that you weren’t there alone. Or not supposed to be anyway, Javier was nowhere to be seen. You got up to your feet in an instant, circling around yourself while you attentively looked in between the many tree trunks surrounding you. 

Your gaze dropped to the woodland floor upon spotting his bowler hat resting right where he left it the evening before. Careful hands reached for it while your pulse quickened. Had something happened to him? He wouldn't just leave you, would he?

The hat was a bit dusty, little sprinkles and specs of dirt and tiny leaves adorning the black fabric. You dusted it with your hand, trying to remove what you could. Deep in thought as you viewed the familiar headpiece now clutched in your hands, you didn’t notice the faint rustle of steps closing in. A voice made you jump and turn around in an instant.  

“Good, you’re awake”

Your body was tensed up, ready for a fight or flight situation. However upon locking eyes with those umber ones you adored so much, you let out all your sudden tension through a deep exhale, stiff shoulders relaxing. Javier seemed taken back by your edginess, immediately attempting to defuse it.

“Woah, sorry linda . I wasn’t trying to scare you”

“No, it’s fine”, you brushed it off once collecting yourself, though not quite calm yet. “Where were you?”

“I went off to look for your horse”, he turned his head to point up towards the top of the slope, where the forest edge met the fields. Following his line of sight you recognised your horse, hitched to a slim tree. Javier looked back to you, a gentle look on his face. “Found her grazing nearby behind this hill. Figured we should head back soon, or they might get worried”. You nodded slowly, in silent agreement. Looking up at the sun shining in big contrast to the previous day, you reckoned it was closing in on the early afternoon already. 

“Christ, yeah. How long was I even asleep for”. He chuckled at that.

“You were out cold”, Javier hummed amused, the little glint in his eyes revealing the thought behind his statement more than his words.

With the reminder of your shared evening your face ran hot, and now that you finally came face to face with him again you were rendered speechless. Your mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, and quite frankly you didn’t know what to say. So you didn’t. He eyed you for a moment more, before his expression softened.

“Come on now , I’ll take you home”, he motioned for you to follow. Before he could take another step, however, you grabbed his wrist. Javier turned to you with quirked brows. 

“Here”, you extended the hat towards him. The corners of his lips turned upwards as he accepted it, placing it atop his head in a slick motion. 

“ Gracias, belleza ”, he uttered as smooth as the motion of his arm. You smiled, and as you were about to let go of his wrist, Javier quickly captured your hand in his before it had the chance to drop fully. He pulled you along after him, trudging up the dirt flooring until you reunited with your beloved mare. Swiftly you reached out to wrap your arms around her neck, caressing her mane as you placed your cheek flush against her. 

“Sweet girl, waited for us closeby, huh?”, you whispered with your eyes closed, feeling her relax under your touch. You had been worried about her after she took off in a panic. Eyes fluttering open, you quickly scanned her body for any visible injuries from the shootout, content when you spotted nothing. “You deserve a little treat”, you said upon backing away slightly, running your hand over her muzzle gently. You were about to walk over to the saddlebag, but stopped in your tracks when Javier already pulled his hand out of the bag, handing you two carrots. 

“Thanks”, you offered him an appreciative look in return, your horse enthusiastically munching the vegetables from the palm of your hand. 

Javier climbed into the saddle, and you let him help you up on the back, taking as comfortable of a seat as you could muster. The ride back was mostly silent, the atmosphere calm, though your mind on quite the contrary note was not. Casual remarks came from Javier from time to time, and you wondered if you should address the elephant in the room.  Although, the distance between the creek and the camp didn’t allow for it as you found yourselves trotting through the well known west-side path through the trees leading to camp, all too soon.

Curious faces turned to the pair of you stopping by the nearest hitch posts. Javier got down first, about to hold out a helping hand for you, however you didn’t notice, jumping down on your own. 

“Well look who snuck back in, eh”, Sean said loudly with a little laugh. “I thought yous said you’d be back before the sun set”

“Something came up”, you voiced. The three of you had caught the attention of the gang members within earshot. Dutch was sitting with Arthur and Tilly by the domino table, suddenly not so interested in the game anymore as they all slowly but surely joined Sean’s side. 

“Something happen?”, Dutch inquired with that suspicious look of his, his hands resting on his belt. 

“Nothing too serious, we had a run-in with some Raiders”, Javier answered before you could utter your explanation. “Got away but lost the horse, so we camped out for the night”.

“You sure you weren’t followed?”, Arthur asked.

“Of course not, we ain’t seen them since before we decided to camp”, you answered confidently, crossing your arms by your waist.

You could feel Tilly eyeing you, and it didn’t occur to you until then that after the chase, being drenched in the rain, falling off your horse, followed by your little diversion against the tree, that you probably didn’t look quite presentable. 

“Okay, good”, Dutch nodded slowly, thinking. He looked like he was about to leave it at that, when another question had him stay put. “What were you two doing to be meeting them Raiders anyhow?”. Your eyes flickered over to Arthur for a split second, arms tightening in their crossed formation. 

“Well I went and grabbed some of their fine breed horses to sell”. You heard Arthur groan slightly at that.

“I thought we agreed on leaving them be”. You didn’t even have to look at Javier next to you to know he was giving you a knowing look. 

“I know, spare me the lecture”, you sighed. “But it was too good of an opportunity, and it worked out well enough in the end”, you dug through your satchel, fishing up the clips of money. Turning to Dutch, you handed him the amount for the camp savings, which he took off your hands without hesitation. 

“You did good, we all have to do our utmost and take some chances every now and then”, he announced to the lot of you, before placing a hand on your shoulder, giving you a gentle look. “But don’t act too hastily, first of all I want you safe”. He had that look in his eyes that one simply couldn’t shy away from, and you nodded earnestly. Dutch kept his hand on you when he then looked at the others, one by one. “I need all of you to stay with me”.

He received various promises and affirmations that indeed you were going nowhere, to which he walked away content. 

“You look a mess”, Tilly wasn’t shy to tell you, taking a couple of steps your way. “Come now, we’ll get you a change of clothes”, she grabbed a hold of your upper arms on each side, noting the dried mud on your skin. “And maybe a scrub, you even got some bark in your hair”, she said with furrowed brows, picking at the piece entangled within your messy strands. 

You didn’t miss the subtle look Javier shot you, before Tilly whisked you away. 

“You should get a scrub too, shiny boots, you’re not looking so shiny anymore”, Sean teased Javier further behind you.

“Shut up”

“Just looking out for you, honest”

“I wonder if those two can ever go a full week without squabbling”, Tilly snickered. You shook your head with a smile. 

“Oh I’ll believe that when I see it”, you joined in on her laughter.

~

You sat down in the shallow water, scrubbing at your arms while Tilly helped you wash all the dirt and grime out of your hair. It would have been rather peaceful, had it not been for your mind being thousands of miles elsewhere. Ever since you woke up you had attempted to observe Javier, trying to get even an ounce of understanding of what he was thinking. How he was feeling. He seemed so normal to you… casual . It gnawed sorely on the back of your mind no matter how much you tried to pay attention to whatever Tilly was telling you about while she scrubbed at your scalp. 

The rest of the day you found yourself strategically placing yourself wherever Javier was not. One time he had joined yourself and Karen by the fire, and you stuck around for a few uncomfortable minutes before fleeing the scene, making up some sort of excuse about chores. Same thing happened later on when Javier appeared once more, offering you some help cleaning the chicken coop. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be near him, quite the contrary, you wished nothing more than to be close to him again. The previous evening played shamelessly on repeat in the back of your mind. It was more so a result of the fact that even after sharing the night the way you had, you couldn't help but feel more confused than ever.

You had crossed this threshold now that was impossible to simply revert back across. That night by the creek had released everything you had kept suppressed. It had revealed the dust under the carpet; how these feelings you’ve had for him since you bumped into him all those years ago, that you’ve so quickly shrugged off to just be a close friendship, indeed meant something more to you. And it scared you.

Javier was the very core of your thoughts now, and there were few moments in the day where you were even able to push him out of your mind long enough to think of anything else. What if your shared night meant something else to him? 

What if he just had a need to relieve some stress and tension and he thought you were in need of the same? A mutual exchange of favours… You couldn’t possibly face him, because that meant you’d have to face the possibility he wanted nothing to do with your uncovered sentiments, and your nervous heart wouldn’t let you face that music. 

The next day went by just the same. Being the expert of distracting and excusing yourself through chores as you were, Javier attempts of casual, everyday-talk stood no chance.

Though at one point in the late afternoon, there were simply no more chores left to claim. And so you cannot even explain the relief that washed over you when Abigail called you over, asking you to spend some time with Jack while she took a swift trip into Rhodes with Hosea to buy the boy a new set of clothes. You’ve never said yes faster. Now sitting at the very end of the small pier, with the child’s cheek resting against your upper arm, you read him one of his books. 

“They had been overrun by detectives outside of Blackwater and had fled north and east as man-hunters posed in various guises, scouring the countryside as everything from lighting rod salesmen to itinerant peddlers of farming implements in their desperate search for Otis and his gang of kindly outlaws, and the sizeable bounty their heads were worth”. You stared at the pages with brows raised. This part of ‘Otis Miller and the boy from New York’ bore an eerie resemblance to your own situation. Tipping your head down slightly to your side you looked at Jack. “Quite a book you’ve got here”.

“Yeah, uncle Arthur got it for me back at that other camp”, he answered you without taking his eyes away from the comic resting in your hands. 

“Did he now? That was kind of him”, You smiled before picking up from where you left off. “ Whiskey, neat, with water back ’ he said to the barkeep. The barkeep eyed him suspiciously. ‘ You wander in off some farm? ’. ‘I reckon maybe I did’ . He put a dollar down on the bar and looked the barkeep in the eye. A voice behind him hollered out: ‘ Don’t get much of your lot here in New York City-”

“No, I reckon maybe you don’t’ ”. Jack delivering the following line before you could even say it made you pause your reading.

“You know this book that well already, huh”, you looked at the boy again, and this time he lifted his gaze to meet yours. 

“I’ve read it ten times”

“Really? Well, is there no other book you can read?”

“No, I forgot my other storybook that time we left so quickly, uncle Arthur says we can’t go back there”, he said in a shrug, face dropping down to look at his bare feet dangling off the wooden pier and splashing in the water. You felt sad for the boy. He still didn’t, and hopefully never would, understand exactly why you had to leave that camp right outside Blackwater so hastily. You let go of the right side of the comic to snake your arm around him, giving him a couple of comforting rubs up and down his upper arm. 

“I’ll keep an eye out for one, Jack”, you promised him, watching the kid’s face light up slightly. By the time Abigail made her way back and called Jack over to show him his new clothes, you had read a couple more chapters. You walked over to their tent, gently placing the book by Jack’s pillow while sneaking peeks of Jack excitedly showing off his outfit to Abigail and Mary-Beth by the campfire. The wholesome sight made the corners of your lips quirk upwards into the softest of smiles. 

Turning your head, you scanned the campgrounds, eyes landing on a lonesome figure sitting on the giant log stuck on the sandy beach. Remembering what Jack told you, your smile dropped slightly. You had to give it a shot.

“Hey there”. You appearing from behind seemed to startle John, though he quickly composed himself. “Mind if I sit?”

“No, uhm, make yourself comfortable”, he assured you as you took a seat next to him. None of you said anything at first, just looking out over the quiet lake.

“That scar seems to have healed up pretty nicely”, you broke the silence, and he huffed with a small smile. 

“Sure, got pretty lucky there. It nearly ruined my best features”, he joked and you huffed through your nose with a roll of your eyes. You fell silent once more, before clearing your throat lightly, speaking up.

“I.. was reading with Jack earlier”, you began, looking at him through the corner of your eye. 

“Yeah, I saw”, he responded simply, tilting his head towards the pier. 

“You know, Jack’s been quite into books lately, but he’s read them all many times now…”, you let another pause in, once again peeking over at him.

“That so?”

“I was just thinking, maybe you could take him to go pick out a new one?”, you finally made your point known, and John looked at you at last.

“Why?”

“Because it’s a great way to spend some time with him-”

“Why would I do that?”, he interrupted you, and you sighed.

“Cause you’re his father, he’ll do well to have some time with you”

“Oh give it a rest, I hear this enough times from Abigail in a day”

“Well maybe you should start listening instead of just hearing , John”

“I ain’t got the time for that stuff”, he dismissed.

“Oh please, you spend half these days whittling aimless wood pieces that you end up using as food for the fire anyway”, you flung your arm in the direction of the campfire demonstratively. 

“I-”, John’s words got stuck in his throat. He didn’t quite know how to answer that. Sure enough, he looked down at the piece of wood he had absentmindedly cut into with his knife all afternoon, letting it fall into the sand by his feet with a soft thud. 

“Come on, John, you know I’m right. You know Hosea and Arthur are right. You know Abigail is right”, you stressed her name, gaze seeking his.

“I don’t know what you all expect from me”

“Nothing more than being there for him, John”. John stared holes into the ground, a flash of frustration and uncertainty came across his expression. He eyed you quickly with a flick of his eyes, opening his mouth as if he was about to answer. However, only a sigh left his lips as he got up with a quick wave of his hand, stumbling off somewhere. You watched him leave in silence, releasing a long exhale through your nose. You could only hope he’d open his eyes one day. Both Jack and Abigail deserved better. 

~

After your failed attempt to talk some sense into John, you wandered off to relieve Sadie of her guard duty. You had been trudging around the western entrance, closest to the water. The path inwards that way was more hidden, without a clear sight of the main trail across the field, so you didn’t see much sign of life other than the odd squirrel or a small rafter of eastern wild turkeys every now and then. 

This particular evening was especially rare considering everyone was holed up in camp. Usually someone would be out, however even Arthur who would come and go quite often stayed put. It only made the guard duty easier seeing you didn’t have to look out for the return of anyone in the gang, only keep your ears peeled for any unfamiliar movement coming in.

The sun was setting, the solitude amplifying the thoughts of uncertainty plaguing your mind. Mindlessly you trudged off the path and into the denser part of the forest separating your camp from the fields. From the other side of the minor hill you could hear the distant lively chatter and laughter from camp, and if you turned your head you could see the glowing light from the fire illuminating the trees further behind you in a dim, orange hue. The flickering light was the only visible sign of your camp from here. With tired legs, you sunk down, taking a seat amongst the tiny bushes. 

You found a sort of solace in your environment. The thick treeline and bushes encapsulating you felt like they shielded you from anything unwanted. Which if that was the case, you suppose there’s no wonder why Javier so easily found you. Because, oh, how badly did you truly want and yearn for him. 

You had heard footsteps approaching you, yet you were still taken aback when you turned your head to see him standing there, the soft light from the moon dancing on his skin wherever the shadows from the trees couldn’t reach. “ Hola ”, he said with a gentle smile, and there was almost something careful about his tone. 

“Hi”, you greeted him back with a quick smile before getting up to walk away, feeling the slight panic spread through your chest like it had been every time he approached you these past days. However as you went to pass him he reached out, stopping you.

“What’s going on, I can barely get two words in with you lately”, he asked with furrowed brows. You stared back at him, moments passing in complete silence.

“It’s nothing”, you eventually said, turning around to face him fully. His expression revealed he didn’t believe that one bit.

“Come on, it’s not nothing”. Gently he pulled you in a little closer by your arm. “Tell me what’s bothering you, querida ”, he urged again, eyes so full of care they burned into you. You sighed, hand slipping out of his hold as you sat back down. Javier followed your lead, gaze set on you while you looked straight ahead. 

“Is it about the other night?”, Javier guessed in an attempt to make you talk when your lips remained sealed. Your eyes flickered to meet his, and you felt your face heat up under his stare. 

“No… Yes ”. His brows quirked ever so slightly at your words, and you quickly averted your gaze from him. You so desperately wished to protect what the two of you had, who knows what would happen if you spoiled it. “I don’t know”, you added in an effort to give yourself an easy way out should the conversation take a wrong turn. You still felt him look at you, noting the soft puff of air leaving his nose. 

Javier took his time observing you. It didn’t take him long to connect the dots, and he spoke softly to regain your attention. As if drawn by an invisible force, his delicate mention of your name made you face him with quirked brows. You awaited his next words curiously, however not quite anticipating what he was about to say.  

“Can’t you tell I’m sweet on you?”. Your eyes widened.

“You are?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, hermosa , I thought I made it pretty clear the other night, ¿no? ”, he said with a soft laugh. Gently, he reached out to enclose both your hands between his.

“Well I… I don’t even know what you said half the time”

“What?”

“The names.. those words. I don’t know what it all means, Javi . I wasn’t sure if it was all just some one-time impulse”, you admitted, freely spilling every thought and insecurity you had tried hard to keep hidden. His eyes widened slightly at the mention of the nickname slipping out from your lips. It was a name you had used to call him for a period of time after getting to know him following your recruitment. Though it got lost along the way when you grew tired of Sean and Mac’s relentless teasing. It was around the same time Javier’s budding fancy for you came to a freeze, taking your sudden shift as a sign he should let it go. After all, why else would you take Mac's words to heart, he had thought. Of course, you never picked up on it.

“You wanna know what I said?”, he stopped your rambling, overtaken by a newfound confidence. The air between you suddenly shifted. It turned thick with anticipation, a silent promise lingering that you did not yet know of. Something shifted in his eyes too as he intently awaited your response, growing ever the more sensual. Javier leaned in just a little closer, one hand leaving yours to be placed softly against your cheek. You could do nothing but nod ever so lightly, eyes like glued on his.

“Let me show you what they mean”, he then said so low it was almost breathless, and you swallowed thickly. The hand on your cheek travelled backwards towards your nape, a couple of his fingers entangled in your hair by the root. The feeling sent chills down your spine and you held your breath as Javier leaned in even more, his lips now inches away from your ear on the other side. “ Hermosa ”, he said in a murmur, fingers caressing the back of your neck in deliberate strokes. Your breathing picked up again as you closed your eyes. “Beautiful”, he then translated, giving you a chaste kiss right below your earlobe. “ Cariño ”, he kissed his way down your neck. The hand resting on your lower neck travelled back to the front, his other hand meeting it by the collar of your shirt to unbutton it enough to expose your collarbones. “Darling”, he latched onto the skin, kissing the supple flesh with such attentive care. Your breathing hitched in your throat, feeling the pads of his fingertips tenderly exploring the skin he had unveiled.  

“Javier”, you yammered slightly, head already spinning.

“Shh, ten paciencia mi querida señorita ”, he removed his face from your neck to meet you at eye level. “Be patient my dear lady”, he smiled cleverly.

“Well I got that-”. He kissed you tenderly, and whatever you had started saying simply melted away as your whole being welcomed him. Your hands had been grasping at the leaves and grass surrounding you the entire time, now finding refuge by his shoulders. 

A nimble hand ran down your body, stopping to rest firmly on top of your lower back. He broke the kiss to mumble against the corner of your lip, his nose nuzzling into your cheek. “ Me vuelves loca, mi hermosa”. A soft sigh escaped your lips. “You drive me crazy”. His voice was sensuous, yet laced with evident restraint, and as he looked up to meet your eyes you could see the sheer lust radiating off of them. 

Leaning forward, he effortlessly supported himself while he guided you to lay flush against the ground. “ Mi belleza, my beauty”, he went on, kissing your jaw, running his hand along your arm delicately. The tingling feeling went straight from your head down to your core, and you whimpered breathily.  “ Tan divina, tan perfecta”. He moved down to the exposed part of your chest, groaning softly when he felt your hands grip at his hair. “So divine and perfect”, he said as he tilted his head to watch the way you bit at your lower lip. You could feel him smirk against your skin. 

Javier got up to his knees, which grabbed your attention. Hand running down from your waist and down your leg, he positioned himself between them. He lifted your leg to rest atop his shoulder, head turning to place wet kisses on your calf. Your ankle-length skirt slid down along the leg, leaving you completely exposed apart from your bloomers. You propped yourself up slightly by your elbows, watching the man worship your limb. “ Linda ”, he continued, hand following the contours of your muscles and bones down the leg and pushing itself past the pliable rim of the leg of the bloomer. Your breathy gasps turned to whimpers as he came closer and closer to your aching clit. “Pretty”.

The desperate sounds leaving your throat were addicting, and Javier could do nothing but stare down in awe like you were the most angelic thing he’d ever seen on this cruel earth. And you were. Through his half lidded stare, under the moonlit night, you looked ethereal. Your heaving chest and flush skin. Your lips plump and wet from his kisses. And your eyes . Oh, your glistening, wide-blown eyes looking back at him like there was no one else but him. Nothing else but him. 

“Javi?”, you uttered carefully, pulling him out of the trance. A gentle smile spread across his lips, as if to tell you he was okay. More than okay, in fact. 

“ Cariño” , he almost stated, like it had always been your name, resuming his kisses down your leg. Your brows quirked upon watching him kiss his way over your bloomers, pushing your skirt up to reveal the waistband. 

“What are you-”

“ No sabes cuanto tiempo te he anhelado”. Your question got stuck in your throat as he spoke the familiar words. Javier met your gaze from where his head rested against your inner thigh. “You don’t know how long I’ve longed for you”. Your breathing picked up once more.

“Really?”

“ Sí, precioso ”, he smiled tenderly. Your awed expression softened. Javier started gently pulling at the waistband, sliding your bloomers off with deliberate care. Your eyes widened again when he trailed kisses from your lower abdomen towards your folds. A surprised gasp left your throat as he used his fingers to spread you open, licking a wet strip along your entire slit. “ Tan mojada” , you heard him murmuring to himself.

“Javier, wait”, you tried to steady your voice as best you could as he continued on lapping his tongue over your clit. “The others… back at camp, they-”, another whimper forced itself out of you. Javier didn’t let up, only humming against your throbbing core, which did nothing to dampen your waves of pleasure. 

“Better be quiet then, right?”, he teased. You bit down on your lip again in an effort to regulate the sounds being drawn out of your from Javier’s pleasing tongue. He pushed one leg down, keeping it there by the force of his elbow pressed against the inner thigh. Your head fell back as you moaned through sealed lips, two of Javier’s fingers now clenched inside your drenched pussy, caressing your slick walls with purposeful motions. His lips closed around your swollen glans, sucking mercilessly at the bundle of nerves. You could no longer support yourself, falling back to dig the back of your head into the ground while your back arched from trying to contain the waves of pleasure washing over you.

“ Javi ”, you managed to croak with a small gasp. He looked up, admiring the way you squirmed under his touch. 

“ Sí , cariño, does it feel good?”. As if he had to ask.. His voice was husky, breathy from his continuous ravaging of your throbbing core. 

“Yes, fuck , keep going”, you said strained. It took every ounce of restraint in you to keep from crying it out. “So good”. At the sound of your praise he groaned, letting the thumb of his free hand take over the pleasing of your clit, matching the pace of his fingers working inside of you. Desperately, you grabbed a fistful of his hair when you felt his tongue join his two digits, your other hand grasping fervently after anything next to you that could help ground you. You settled with digging your fingers into the dry dirt. 

It was all so much, the overstimulation stronger than your will to hold yourself back. You were dangerously close to bursting. Feeling that sweet pressure building up, your fingers tensed around his hair, pushing him closer against you. The whimpers couldn’t be stopped as he only upped the pace. “You’re doing so good, preciosa , such pretty noises for me”. You squeezed your eyes shut, revelling in that delightful sensation within your body as you neared your peak. “ Tan dulce , let me taste all of you”, he coaxed, and you couldn’t hold back any longer.

Javier eagerly kept up the pace as you came undone around his fingers, riding out your orgasm. You whined from the overstimulation as he made sure to drink you up, licking the slick from your entrance. As you came down from your high, he finally slowed his movements. You were both a heaving mess as you released your clutch on his hair, and he lifted his head to look at you.

After a moment you propped yourself back up by your elbows, meeting his gaze which stared back at you in utter adoration. The smallest gasp left your lips as he retracted his fingers, leaving you empty. Slowly, he closed in on you, placing the fingers atop your lower lip. Holding his stare, you opened your mouth, taking them in as far as they could go while sucking them clean of your release. His breath hitched, and he looked utterly flustered. 

“ Mierda ”, he muttered, swiftly removing his hand to crash his lips against yours instead. You could still taste yourself sweetly on his tongue. You giggled softly against his lips at his eagerness, a sudden surge of confidence taking a hold of you. Pressing a hand against his shoulder, you pushed him, flipping him over on his back as you followed in tow, straddling his waist. Javier blinked surprised as his head made contact with the woodland floor. You beamed at him from above, caressing his chest before moving your hand up to his face.He leaned into the palm, looking up at you while his hands found anchor on your thighs. His thumbs rubbed small circles over the fabric of your skirt.  You studied every crevice and feature on his handsome face, noting the intricate details of the scar adorning it. You could not get enough of him, every part of him drawing you in.

“You’re gorgeous”, slipped from your lips in pure awe of the man in front of you. His brow quirked, the corners of his lips tugging into a smile. 

“I’m gorgeous?”, he asked you, his tone sounding amused, like he didn’t really think you were serious. There was no hint of taunt in your answer.

“Yes you are”. He only looked at you when noting the sincerity of your words, his expression softening before it turned mischievous.

“Gorgeous, huh?”, He sat himself up, arms propped up behind him to support himself as he came eye-level with you. “ What else?”. You rolled your eyes lightly, pretending to think hard and long. He squinted at you, lips quivering as he tried to suppress his amused smile. “By all means, take your time”, he scoffed as you didn’t let up, and you chuckled.

“Easy now, I’m only teasing”. You eyed him. “You’re… dazzling”

“Dazzling?”

“Yes”, you giggle. Leaning forwards with your arms draped over his shoulders, you nuzzled against his face. “And bold”. One of his hands moved to rest against your lower back, pulling your body in a little closer. “Not to mention generous”. Javier turned his head ever so lightly, his lips running along your cheek before they connected with yours. “And sweet”, you added between kisses, melting into his worship of your lips. 

He kissed you like a man starved, fisting up the fabric of your shirt by the small of your back trying to grasp at any part of you he could reach. His hand pushed you further down against his hardening bulge. You started moving your hips ever so lightly, just enough for Javier to hiss against your lips at the sensation.

“Hello?”. You both jolted at the sound of Lenny calling out for you, and you thanked your lucky stars it was too far off the trail for him to spot you in the veil of the night. Hurriedly you got off Javier’s lap, straightening out the creases in your skirt and smoothing out your hair the best you could. 

“I’m over here!”, you called out as casually as you could muster. Beside you Javier readjusted himself, correcting his crooked neckerchief before fixing his ponytail. He made sure to position himself in a way where his obvious arousal wouldn’t be so visible.

“There you are”, Lenny said with a relieved laugh, though pausing when he noticed you weren’t alone. “And Javier too, we wondered where you walked off to”.

“Just thought I’d keep her company for a bit”, Javier shrugged.

“Alright, tho you missed out on one of Micah’s  ‘thrilling’ stories”, he said satirically, to which Javier rolled his eyes with an amused huff.

“Sounds like I left at the right time”

“Sure did”, Lenny chuckled, looking from Javier to you. His laughter died down and he looked rather hesitant. “Your shirt”, he began, and you immediately started buttoning the top.

“I was hot”, you quickly excused yourself as you fumbled with the buttons. At least it wasn’t all the way open, and Lenny seemed to buy it considering even at night the temperature stayed moderately warm. Either way, he left it at that, looking at the rifle next to you.

“So you wanna give me the rifle or do you fancy taking the night shift too?”, he asked in a humorous tone. 

“God no”, you immediately replied, getting up on your feet to hand him the gun. As much as you wanted to stay right there with Javier for as long as possible, you knew it was careless to do so while you were supposed to keep watch. Besides, who would willingly sign up for a double watch, it would be utter torture. Lenny snickered while the corner of Javier’s lip quirked up into an amused smirk.

“Fine by me. How long since you took a round?”.

You crossed your arms by your waist. “Uhm, a good while”, you admitted.

“I’ll take a round straight away then, you guys should turn in for the night”, he motioned towards camp with a flick of his head. You smiled appreciatively.

“Thanks Lenny, see you in the morning”. Lenny bid you both a good night, walking off. 

The pair of you strolled back through the path in shared silence, stealing glances every now and then. Right before you reached the end of the path, Javier grabbed your hand. You turned to him perplexed.

He placed his other arm behind his back, like some distinguished gentleman, bowing down to place a delicate kiss atop your hand. “ Dulces sueños, cariño ”. Straightening up, he lifted your arm to spin you around once. You snickered, watching him fondly once you came face to face with him again. Taking a step forward, you placed a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“Goodnight, Javi”. Your hand fell from his, and quietly you walked back to your tents. 

As you prepared yourself for bed, kneeling down onto your bedroll wedged in between Tilly and Mary-beth, you couldn’t help the permanent smile adorning your lips. Not even when Tilly’s eyes fluttered open, awakened by the slight rustle from you lying down.

“What are you smiling for?”, she asked you tiredly, rubbing her eyes lightly. 

“Nothing, go back to sleep”, you answered simply, pulling your thin blanket over yourself. Tilly only hummed drowsily, sleepy eyes closing as quickly as they had opened. Only the calming crackle from the fire pierced the quiet of the Lemoyne night, lulling you straight to sleep.

Chapter Text

You never should have meddled.  

You never should have underestimated those feuding families. They never should have taken that walk in that pretty town... Well, there’s a lot of things you shouldn’t have done, in the aftermath that’s always the conclusion drawn. Truth was it was too late now to preach what you should have done instead. Too late for ‘why’s ‘I told you so’s. Now an entire town's worth of Grey men were slaughtered and a mansion burned to ash. Not that those crooked families deserved better, but you were on the run now, once again cowering in the shadows, and for what? False riches, a dead comrade and a stolen boy. 

Shady Belle offered little comfort when you were all plagued by anxious thoughts looming over you like a hefty cloud. Still grieving the sudden loss of Sean, and worried sick by Jack’s unknown whereabouts, days felt slow and heavy like the thick swamp enclosing your new camp. 

Sean… Jack… Oh what a mess you’ve made of things.

You already missed the brighter atmosphere back at Clemens Point. You would’ve stayed longer had agent Milton not waltzed right into the campgrounds like it was his vacation home. You had stood your ground by Dutch, finger on the trigger just like the rest, however it left you with an uncomfortable knot in the pit of your stomach. You’ve always had such faith in Dutch’s assuring words that you were all one step ahead of the Pinkertons, one step closer to your days of freedom, yet they always seemed to show up right when you’ve managed to settle. Though you suppose the way the gang has been carrying yourselves recently didn’t help your case much either. You have been much too indiscreet, and now the consequences have forced you into a corner once more.

‘Trust him, he knows what needs to be done’, Javier had told you when you confided your worries to him the evening of the move from Clemens Point to Shady Belle. A couple of days had passed since then and Arthur and Dutch were now in Saint Denis to see what they could learn about this italian bigshot, Mr. Angelo Bronte . 

You were lounging across one of the couches within Shady Belle’s bottom floor, where you and the girls were assigned to sleep. It was a nice change to reside inside four walls with a roof over your head. The sunlight peeked in through the dirty windows. It didn’t matter how many times Miss Grimshaw rubbed and scrubbed at them, they were tainted and worn after many years of neglect, much like the rest of the old plantation house. However, it was still homely in a sense. At least in the evening, when dim candles lit it up in orange and warm hues, the shadows covering up the broken pieces and tattered wallpaper. 

Clutched delicately between your fingers was a single flower you had woken up to, resting on top the armrest by your head earlier that morning. The white, thin petals of the ghost orchid felt soft under your touch. After getting dressed and ready for the day you had decided to linger inside, the others long since walked out to eat what Pearson had prepared for breakfast. It was peaceful, admiring the orchid as the comforting background noise of the people you held dear seeped through from the outside. 

A couple of creaks from footsteps atop the floorboards stole your attention, and your eyes shot up towards the sound.

“Javier”, you sat yourself up with a smile. He slumped down next to you, his arm resting on the backrest behind you.

“ Buenos dias, hermosa ”, he greeted with a fond gaze. His eyes dropped to the flower still in your grasp. “Do you like it?”. His tone was hopeful.

“Yes, it’s beautiful ”

“Like you”, he responded with no hesitation. You rolled your eyes slightly in sheer bashfulness, trying to downplay the way his words made your heart race and your face heat up. Your smile betrayed you, however, and he saw right through it. “I saw a couple of them on the trunk of this tree closeby the house…”, Javier reached over to take the orchid from your hands, gently lifting it up to place the short stem behind your ear. He paused to take in the sight of you. “Made me think of you”. 

You could never grow tired of the way he looked at you now. His gazes were filled with awe and adoration, concealed within gentle and longing expressions he’d give you while you were going about your days. Leaning forward, he placed a chaste kiss on your lips, one leaving a lingering mark as he pulled away slightly. “Thank you”, you spoke softly, to which he smiled. The moment loitered some more before Pearson yelling outside made Javier’s eyes follow the sound.

He backed away a little more so his back was leaning properly against the backrest, looking at you. “Why haven’t you eaten yet?”.

“Oh, I just needed some quiet..”, you shrugged. 

“Hey, don’t worry, I’m sure Dutch and Arthur will come back with some news of Jack. We’ll find him”

“I know… I’m just concerned. I’ve tried comforting Abigail, but that poor woman won’t come around until the boy is home safe” 

“Everyone is looking for him, even John is going above and beyond”, Javier said reassuringly, and you supposed that was true. Jack’s disappearance really rattled the man. He’s been a wreck these past days, same as Abigail, just in his own way. 

“You’re right”, you sighed, feeling the knot in your stomach loosen a little. 

“Now you should come eat”, he got up from the couch. “I would’ve preferred it if Pearson could make some pozole, but his unflavoured stew will do”, he shrugged exaggeratedly with his arms, before extending one to you. You chuckled, letting him help you up. 

Opening the side door from the living room, you were met with the beaming sun, the thick, humid air and Pearsons roaring. You glanced over at Javier as the two of you approached the food wagon, but he seemed to have no clue why the man was so riled up.

“I’m talking meat, fish, vegetables! I can cook any of these things, the one thing I cannot cook is air !”. As you reached the pot you poured yourself a bowl with the last few scrapes of the ladle. A small group were still eating by the campfire, seemingly the main targets of Pearsons words as he waved his arms towards them. “So please , somebody, go hunting. Come along,  you guys… you’re getting lazy!”, he threw his rag on the ground harshly. You looked between him and the group, taking a spoonful to your mouth. Bill and Uncle who had been slouching by the logs grumbled their excuses, to which Pearson rolled his eyes. He mumbled something incoherent, and you could only catch the word ‘useless’. 

Pearson turned to you and Javier, eyes fixed on the latter. “You then, Javier, I could really do with some fresh fish”. 

“Sorry, but Trelawny wanted to talk to me about something, he said it was important”, he explained, and as the camp cook sighed frustrated you glanced over at Javier once more with a questioning look. He only smiled softly, placing his hand on your upper arm briefly before walking off after a slight dip of his head, heading to track down the Englishman you assumed. 

You walked over to take a seat next to Tilly, who was sowing into a piece of fabric. Pearson was not done, however, uttering your name in an almost pleading tone. “Would you please?”. He didn’t even need to specify his wish. You took another spoonful, looking at him.

“I would but we’re all out of arrows. I will need to make new ones, and that could take some time-”

“Well what about tracking down something immoble then?”, he interrupted you eagerly, and you furrowed your brows confused. He noted your expression and elaborated. “I spotted a nice patch of wild carrots just up the road past where the path splits when we came here, maybe you could go collect them. It’ll do for now until we can get more arrows”.

“I guess I could”, you agreed after a moment of deliberation, finishing the last scrap of stew in your bowl. 

“Fantastic, maybe Miss Tilly is free to give you a helping hand”, Pearson concluded content, and Tilly lowered her fabric to look at the man. 

“Pick carrots?”, she stated with a quirked brow. He didn’t answer, only kept up the hopeful look on his face until she gave in. “I suppose why not”, she sat her sowing aside, getting up from her seat.

“Thank you ladies”, Pearson smiled pleased, walking back to his wagon. You got up as well, sharing a look with Tilly before walking over to place the metal bowl in the tub for dirty dishes. Passing the back of the wagon you grabbed an empty basket to place the carrots in as you collected them.

“Alright, let’s get this over with”, Tilly said once you rejoined her. You decided you would both take your horse, it wasn’t too far away after all. She climbed up on the back behind you, holding the basket as you took the reins. 

“Pretty flower by the way”, Tilly spoke after some time, and you remembered the orchid still placed in your hair. 

“Oh, thank you”, you simply answered, face remaining ahead. You slowed the pace as you passed the split road, scouting out for where this patch of wild carrots could be. 

“You don’t usually wear stuff in your hair”, she continued, and you shrugged.

“I guess I’m trying something new”

“Seems you are”, she replied, and you could hear the smirk in her voice. You turned your head slightly to look at her.

“How do you mean?”, you asked after a moment of hesitation. 

“Oh, I don’t know, just that I see you two together all the time. Even more than before anyway”. She didn’t even have to say his name, and you felt your face heat up. Tilly snickered. “Plus I saw him place the flower there this morning, he’s not as sneaky as he thinks”, she added, and you joined in on her lighthearted laughter. 

“You two are nice together”, Tilly then spoke sincerely once the laughter faded. You smiled fondly at her words.

“You think?”

“Sure do, ever since him and Mac brought you in you’ve always been around each other in some kind of way. If anything I thought you’d get together much sooner”. You didn’t answer her, facing back ahead as her words elicited a train of thought taking you back to the time you were newly introduced to the Van Der Linde gang and its then-current members. Had you really been that blind to it all along?

Just as quickly as she had sent you down memory lane, she pulled you right back out of it. Eagerly she pointed ahead. “I think I see some over there”. Redirecting your gaze you followed her finger, and surely enough, you spotted a fair amount of healthy looking green stems with white flowers sprouting out of the ground. 

You halted your horse, the pair of you lowering yourselves down to where your feet met the tall grass. Leading your horse with you away from the path, you left her to graze while you joined Tilly by the sprouts. 

Placing the basket between you, you started pulling at the stems. Luckily it seemed the carrots were almost fully grown, and you contentedly continued on yanking them out of the dirt. 

“Hey, did you ever find that necklace of yours?”, you asked her after a while of shared silence. 

“No, I was looking everywhere for it since we left Blackwater, but I reckon that’s where it stayed”

“What a shame”, you sympathised, however Tilly brushed it off.

“It’s alright, Arthur managed to find me a replacement the other day, I left it in my jewellery box for now”

“He did? That’s fantastic”, you smiled, pulling yet another stem. 

“Yeah, it was real kind”.

“Arthur’s been pretty busy then, I heard he found a new storybook for Jack and one of those fancy fountain pens for Mary-Beth”, you continued on, and Tilly hummed in agreement. “And I was wondering what he’s been up to all this time whenever he leaves camp, he must’ve been all over the place”. Tilly snickered.

“Yeah, he’s a hard worker. Sometimes I think he works too hard.. he deserves some rest”.

“Me too.. Tho I guess right now there’s a lot at stake”, you sighed, and Tilly hummed in agreement once more. 

“I hope they find little Jack soon, I hate to see Abigail so distraught”. You nodded somberly, taking a deep breath.

“I’m worried for Karen too. She’s never been shy with the bottle, but now it’s gotten worse”

“I know, I tried talking with her. Mary-Beth too, but you know how she gets”, Tilly sighed, yanking a carrot. 

“We best keep an eye on her… Hide a crate or two in the evenings”, you suggested with a shrug.

“Yeah, maybe that’s a start”

Time passed and you had almost filled the whole basket. Brushing some of the dirt off of your hands you stopped to inspect your collection. Tilly had moved on to a spot behind you, and so you spoke out loudly so she would hear you. “I reckon we only need a few more, then we should head back, or what do you-”. Rustling and the sounds of Tilly struggling behind you made you turn around rapidly. 

Your eyes were blown wide as two sets of eyes stared back at you, Tilly’s terror-stricken ones excluded. Immediately you reached for your pistol, aiming it at the tall man restraining her. He had his hand over her mouth, the poor girl squirming in his hold trying to get loose. 

Your eyes narrowed. “Let go!”, you demanded. The two men only looked at you cleverly, finding your request humorous somehow. Outnumbered, you refused to show even the slightest hint of nerves. As long as you kept it aimed at what seemed to be the leader they wouldn’t do anything irrational… you prayed.

You cocked the hammer of your gun, your stance unfaltering as your stare only hardened. At the sound of your hammer clicking, there was a slight notion of uncertainty flashing in his eyes, before they darted over to fix on something behind you . At the realisation there could be more out there you quickly turned your head, but it was already too late. You felt a sudden, agonising blow to the head, instantly collapsing to the ground. All your senses faded into a dark, silent, numb, nothingness. 

“Shit, Michael, you hit her too hard”

“Well I didn’t mean to outright kill her, but the girl had a gun-”, Michael defended himself, crouching down to try to lift you up.

“Just leave her, ain’t no point in taking her now. We got who we came for anyway, didn’t we Tilly ?”, he looked down at her with a crooked smile. Michael released his hold on your shoulders, your lifeless body slumping back down onto the ground with a harsh thud. Tilly yammered panicked behind Anthony’s hand covering her mouth, sprawling desperately in an attempt to free herself, but to no avail. 

The men called for their horses, and Tilly watched helplessly under restricting ropes and bindings as a thick, red stream of blood started trickling down from the crack on the side of your head. Once again she attempted to free herself, however as she was slumped up atop the back of a horse, she could do nothing but watch you and the path leading back to camp fade further and further away…

~

Your head was pulsing, pounding mercilessly as your eyes fluttered open in painful, twitching motions. The sharp light from the sun did nothing to ease your pain. Your horse was pushing at your shoulder with her muzzle, and it took you a moment to understand where you were and what was going on.

Dizzily, you sat yourself upright, instantly overtaken by a nauseating feeling. You groaned, bringing your hand up to the part of your pounding head that was hurting the most, the pads of your fingers meeting the warm, red fluid. You hissed at the contact, retracting your hand instantly to eye the taint on your fingers. Next to you, your gun rested within the grass blades, and nimbly you picked it up to place it back in your holster. Moments passed by until you regained some sort of control over the nausea, finally able to feebly support yourself up to your feet by gripping at your horse's saddle. 

Taking slow breaths, you rested your torso against her, hand gripping onto the saddlehorn for dear life. Looking down to your feet, you spotted the once white ghost orchid, now torn and red, halfway drilled into the dirt. Slowly, you turned your head to where you last remembered seeing Tilly. You weren’t even sure how much time had passed since then, and you had absolutely no time to lose.

Through pain-filled cries, you hoisted yourself atop the saddle, giving her a meek but firm kick with the stirrup. Swiftly she went into a trot, heading straight for camp.

You knew you had to find Miss Grimshaw, she was the only one who would truly understand the urgency of the situation. The motions of the horse only worsened the pounding in your head, even though you were starting to see clearer again, and the stuffiness in your ears started to clear out as well. 

Karen, who you knew was on guard duty, was not by the post of the entrance, most likely in the middle of taking her rounds. You looked for whoever was closest, head hanging as you stopped by the hitch posts. 

“Susan”, you croaked out, clumsily sliding off the saddle. You brought your hand to the wound on your head, forcing yourself forwards. “Miss Grimshaw”, you tried calling out again. Walking as quickly as you could, you crossed the small bridge, reaching the fountain. With your hearing still slightly muffled, you didn’t register someone calling your name until they got closer. 

“What happened to you?”, a nervous voice asked as hands reached out to grasp at your upper arms, grounding you from your unbalanced walk. Lifting your face you met Kieran’s worried expression. He had spotted you from where he had been polishing some of the saddles by the gazebo.

“I need Susan”, you managed to say in a haze, and Kieran seemed to pick up on the urgency in your request. 

“I-I’ll go find her, uh, sit down”, he guided you over to the fountain, assisting you until you found a secure seat at the edge of it. “Keep putting pressure on it”, he said before he left you, and you did just that. 

Your name was uttered once more, Javier’s tone alarmed as he had casually rounded the corner of the house to spot you by the fountain. In the matter of seconds he hurried over to you, kneeling down to seek out your lowered gaze. “ Mierda , what happened?”, he asked all while assessing the state of you. Noting the obvious red taint from your head he ran over to Pearson’s wagon to grab a rag, carefully removing your hand to apply firmer pressure to your wound. 

“Tilly, she-”. Right as you started explaining, the front door to the house was forced open, Miss Grimshaw marching out with Kieran in tow. 

“Dear God, who did this-”, she started fussing over you, but you cut her off. 

“Tilly, they got Tilly!”. Susan stopped dead in her tracks, something you didn’t quite catch in your haze flashed across her face. 

“ Who ?”

“Foreman”, you recollected, and Miss Grimshaw’s shocked expression turned enraged. Quickly after your move to Clemens Point, Tilly had shared her concerns with you and Miss Grimshaw about the Foreman Brothers and the possibility of them coming after her after their run-in back in Valentine. Things had been going fine however, and there had been no signs of them anywhere… until now.

“ Anthony Foreman?”.

“Yes, him and one… no two other men. At least that I could see”.

“What did they do to you?”

“One man snuck up from behind and smacked me in the head with the pointy butt of his rifle… bastards probably thought I was dead so they left me there”, you answered, leaning into Javier’s hand still applying pressure to your head.

“ Malditos cabrones ”, Javier muttered under his breath.

“I’m gonna make those bastards pay for ever laying a finger on my girls”, Miss Grimshaw barked furiously. Turning on her heels, she trudged off somewhere. 

“Go get Swanson”, Javier ordered Kieran, and he scurried off right away. All alone now, Javier sought out your gaze once more.

“ Ay, cariño , how are you feeling?”

“My head is pounding, and I’m so very dizzy”, you answered tiredly.

“I know, we’ll get you patched up. Hang on a little longer”, he assured you, his other hand reaching out to caress you softly across your other cheek.

“Do we need more guns?”, you heard Arthur ask, lifting your head to see him follow a determined Grimshaw as they walked in your direction. As Arthur spotted you his eyes widened. 

“You and I can handle this, Arthur”, she said, as determined as her walk. 

Before you could think, you hoisted yourself up, and Javier swiftly followed, supporting you as you lost your balance slightly. “I think they came in from north-west of here” 

“I should come with you guys”, you heard Javier say, and from the way his hold on you tightened you could tell he was holding back just how agitated he truly was.

“No, mister Escuella, you see to that she gets help from Reverend Swanson”. Grimshaw saw his frustration remained and added hell-bent; “Mister Morgan and I will make sure they all get what’s coming for them, don’t you doubt that”.

“Of course”, Javier replied in a sigh, looking down at your cowering form. 

“We’ll find her”, Arthur promised you, before joining Susan atop a wagon, hurriedly making their way out. 

Before you could utter another word, Javier was already leading you towards the campfire where his tent was.

~

Swanson’s checkup on you went by rather quickly, however painfully. He patched up the wound as best he could, the gash just deep enough that he had to sow a couple of stitches to properly close it. Once he finished up, he left you with a strict order to rest. 

In the meantime Javier had filled a small basin with water, carefully cleaning you up as you rested atop his bedroll. He urged you to eat some apples he had fetched, as well as forced you to drink water he brought. He had suggested moving you to your couch inside, however you refused, anxious to see when or if they would return with Tilly. 

And so he stayed put by your side, watching over you as you floated in and out of sleep. At one point he reached for his guitar, softly playing one of his lulling, wordless songs.

“Hey, is she awake?”, Pearson quietly approached Javier in the middle of his strumming. Javier glanced over at your peaceful form, fast asleep, a small crease between your brows from the remaining throbbing in your head no doubt. 

“No”, he answered curtly, that much should have been obvious to the man when he walked up, he thought.

“I see, well I was gonna ask if they managed to get some of those carrots at all-”. The strings of the guitar came to a sudden halt as Javier looked at Pearson, his expression making the cook second guess his approach. “I- I just need them for the dinner is all”, he began justifying.

“Well go look for your damn carrots then”, Javier countered, slightly irked that the man thought to wake you for such a trivial thing.

“I-”, Pearson sighed. “Sure… of course”, he walked off, Javier eyeing him as he did so. Just as it looked like he was about to head off to get the carrots himself, poor Kieran happened to pass him at just the wrong time. “Hey, O'driscoll boy!”, he waved him down, much to Kieran’s dismay.

“When are you going to stop calling me that”

“Sorry, Kieran ”, Pearson corrected himself. “Would you mind picking up the wild carrots the ladies collected earlier, it should be right past the split in the road up ahead”

“I guess so”, Kieran agreed, walking away from a pleased Pearson. Javier scoffed to himself after witnessing the exchange, moving his attention back to the strings of his guitar. He gently resumed his playing.

Once again, time had slipped your mind completely, and after you woke up from a closely monitored nap, you had no idea how much time had passed. Javier noted the confusion in your eyes as you sat yourself up, reaching out to place a supporting hand on your back. “What’s the time?”, you asked him, and he reached for his pocket watch. 

“Around four”

“Are they back yet?”. He seemed reluctant to answer.

“Not yet”. A new lump started to form in your throat, and your breathing picked up slightly. “Hey, hey, they’ll get her, you know nothing can stop Miss Grimshaw”, he tried to calm you, and it honestly worked a little. “How are you feeling now, preciosa ?”, he handed you your cup of water, which you accepted with a small sip. 

“A little better, I think”. Your head still pounded whenever you turned your head too harshly, however your vision and hearing was back to normal, and you didn’t feel quite as dizzy. Javier seemed visibly relieved.

The sound of a wagon approaching had your face light up, and you got up to your feet as quickly as you could manage. “Easy now”, Javier reminded you, getting up as well. However, his words fell on deaf ears as soon as you spotted Tilly huddled up next to Grimshaw.

“Tilly!”, you called out relieved, ignoring the shooting pain in your skull as you ran towards them. As soon as she heard you, she straightened herself up, seeking you out. The second the wagon came to a halt she jumped down, meeting you halfway as you engulfed each other in a tight hug.

“I was so worried for you”

“For me? I thought they killed you!”, Tilly said with a mix of sheer disbelief and sorrow. Taking a step back, you assessed each other.

“They got close to… Did they do anything to you?”. Her pretty, yellow dress was discarded, and she was only wearing the shirt and skirt she wears underneath her dresses. And even those looked torn and dirtied, like she had been dragged across the ground.

“No, Arthur and Susan got to me just in time”, Tilly explained with relief, and you shared the sentiment. You let your eyes wander behind her, noting how only Grimshaw returned with her.

”Where's Arthur?”

“He said he had to meet John and Dutch in the city, I don’t know what for-”, she started explaining, when Grimshaw joined the pair of you, placing a firm hand on each of your shoulders. Her expression revealed the alleviation she felt seeing the pair of you back here in one piece. Despite having escaped without much bodily harm, the whole ordeal seemed to have taken a heavy toll on young Tilly. She looked utterly exhausted.

“Now ladies, I think you should get back to resting. Miss Tilly, you follow me”, she looked over to where Javier had stayed put by his tent, looking from a distance. “As for you, I think someone’s already waiting for you”, she motioned over with a smile, before leading Tilly away. 

~

“Here”. You looked up as Mary-Beth took a seat next to you by the fire, presenting you with a bowl of steaming hot vegetable soup. “I brought one for you”

“Thank you”, you smiled gratefully, taking it off her hands. The sun had set over the swamp, various light sources illuminating your camp. The atmosphere was lively enough; people doing their own thing, getting their daily supper, making small talk. There was still no sign of Arthur since he went out to meet Dutch and John in the city, and you were hoping Javier who was on guard duty would alert you of their return any minute now.

“I’m glad you’re okay”, Mary-Beth spoke sweetly, eating her soup. Before you could answer, Micah slumped down across from you, ever the sly smirk plastered on his face.

“A little hit to the head? Where’s the fuss, you got off lightly I’d say”, he shrugged. You lowered your spoon, eyeing him unimpressed.

“Oh, did I?”

“Sure, I once found myself on the bad end of a very bad ambush. Received quite the beating, but I got away with the skin of my teeth”

“How unfortunate for us”, you answered, and Mary-Beth stifled a laugh. Micah looked at you a second before chuckling.

“Very funny”, he pointed to you, before his forced laughter died down, turning into a mumble. “Very funny indeed..”. Bill and Hosea came over to take a seat. 

“How are you”, Hosea kindly asked, and you gave him a reassuring look.

“I’m just fine, Hosea”. He smiled at that, resting his hand on your shoulder for a moment before turning his attention back to his portion of soup. Micah, however, seemed to be stuck on your previous conversation, shaking his head to himself, deep in thought, before speaking up again.

“No.. no, I’m not like you guys. I make my own luck. I drop down in the mud and pull myself right back up again, by myself. See, even joining this little merry gang, I didn’t need to be saved by Dutch. No, I saved him”. You heard Hosea scoff quietly from your left. Where this whole monologue came from was beyond you, so you kept your mouth shut. 

“No, no, that ain’t true”, Bill got up, provoked, pointing at the blonde man. Micah only laughed darkly. 

“Ain’t it? Why?”, he leaned forward in his seat, voice taunting. “Cause I need to sit around and boast about things I made up cause I failed fighting redskins? That so?”. Micah laughed once more, leaning back in his seat as Bill took a small step forward. 

He only stared at him though, keeping still. Micah seemed to grow bored waiting for him to retaliate, so he rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. “Good day”, he said to the rest of you before sauntering off. You all silently watched him leave, and Bill seemed to have no interest in staying after Micah’s comment so he grumbled, marching off towards the gazebo. 

A small yelp caught your attention, and you narrowed your eyes as you watched Micah remove the foot he had used to step on a sleeping Cain’s tail. The man chuckled to himself before continuing his walk. 

“Cain, come here boy”, you called out for the dog, who immediately made his way over to sit by your feet. Reaching down you gave him some scratches that were enthusiastically welcomed. 

“He’s quite something, ain’t he”, Mary-Beth sighed tiredly, glancing at Micah currently stabbing his knife repeatedly into the wooden surface of a table. You turned to reach for Javier’s little bag he kept by his bedroll, sneaking out a small piece of dried jerky, hoping he wouldn’t mind. Sitting back around you fed Cain the meat.

“He’s a thorn in our asses”, Hosea said matter of factly, his tone making you and Mary-Beth giggle.

“More like a tic, nasty creature sucking the life out of ya”. Mary-Beth and Hosea both chuckled at your words, the man’s wheezing laughter soon turning into a coughing fit. Your brows furrowed as you hurried over to hand him a cup of water.

Hosea initially waved off your offering hand. He’s never been one to let himself be fussed over, however you persisted and he finally gave in. “Thank you dear”. You smiled, taking a seat again. He took a few sips of the water, and though the cough calmed, it still lingered a few moments more. Hosea noted both yours and Mary-Beth’s concerned gazes. “Oh don’t you two worry for even a minute, it is what it is”, he insisted, offering you both a comforting look. It eased your worries only slightly, not able to overlook how saddening it was to watch him grow weaker and weaker, despite his strong willpower.

“Hosea”, Abigail called for him by the front porch. She was nervously trudging back and forth on the old floorboards, anxiously awaiting any news of Jack like she did most of these days. It seemed only Hosea could calm her, so she stuck by him whenever it all felt too overwhelming. Hosea looked at her, coughing a few times more before he looked back to you.

“Excuse me, ladies”. As Hosea walked over to a nail-biting Abigail, Karen walked past you, more than halfway through a bottle you saw her pick up only a minute ago.

“Oh, what are we to do”, Mary-Beth sighed once you were alone. The consistent noise of crickets in the background intensified as you fell silent.

“I-”, you started, not too sure which words to follow up with. Mary-Beth looked to you. “ We keep going. We’ll keep trying to talk to Karen, and for Jack; I’m sure he’ll come back soon and everything will be a bit calmer around here again”, you said as certain as you could muster, though concurrently realising that believing everything would simply revert back to your ‘normal’ and simple times was wishful thinking at this point.

At the sound of the young boy’s name, Cain looked up. You smiled softly, petting him once more. “You miss him too, huh”.

“ Hola, señoritas ”, Javier greeted you both as he discarded his jacket by his bedroll, taking a seat next to you. You smiled.

“Hi Javier”, Mary-Beth greeted happily. “Did you see anyone out there?”. You all knew who she was referring to. 

“No”, he shook his head, propping a leg across the lap of his other. “Just trees and bushes. Sadie took over just now”.

“I see”, Mary-Beth said, mind running elsewhere. Time passed as the three of you made trivial conversation.

“Hey, have yall seen my-”, Uncle appeared by the log, however a powerful voice cut him off from the path.

“Abigail!”. You all turned your heads towards Dutch’s call. “We got you your son-”

“We got him”, John’s hoarse voice called out in an echo. “He’s fine!”

“Momma!”. Both Mary-Beth and yourself got up to your feet in an instant, watching a relieved Abigail run straight for her little boy. “I’m fine momma, they fed me good Italian food. You ever eat that?”.

“Come here you silly boy”, Abigail embraced him, holding him tight. 

The widest of grins spread across your faces as you ran over to the fountain.

“I got my son back!”, Abigail called out happily, turning to lead him towards you. Karen had also heard them, sprinting over to join you.

“Jack, Jack, Jack, how are you boy?”, Hosea knelt down.

“I’m fine!”, the boy assured him confidently. He looked even better than fine. He wore new clothes that looked as soft as silk, and not a speck of dirt anywhere. Not even one strand of hair looked dishevelled. Hosea patted his back before walking over to Dutch, Abigail leading Jack over to the three of you eagerly awaiting him.

“Oh, Jack, it’s so good to see you”, you said as you crouched down to hug him. You got up to give room to the other girls, Jack smiling up at you. 

“I’ve been in this huge house, and I had my own room filled with toys!”, he announced, and you quirked your brows. 

“Really? Now that didn’t sound too bad”, Karen said, and Jack shook his head.

“It was fun!”. Before any of you could say anything else, Jack turned to his mother. “Can I play now?”. Abigail snickered.

“In a bit, first we gotta get you some food in your belly”. She led the boy away and you all followed them back to the campfire, Dutch calling out for a celebration further behind you. 

“How are you, you okay?”, Arthur quickly hooked a hold of you in the midst of the many cheerful voices. Last he saw you, half your face was covered in blood.

“Yes, I’m alright”, you assured him, and he nodded pleased before wandering off to sit on a crate by the bonfire

“That’s it, come on in here!”, Uncle called for everyone to circle around the fire. Mary-Beth grabbed your hand, pulling you to stand by one of the tents. You looked over at Javier who had already grabbed his guitar, making his way towards you with a soft smile. Relieved and merry laughter surrounded you as the excitement over Jack’s return was palpable. The young boy sat atop Abigail’s lap, with Cain by his feet and John huddled up next to them both, surrounded by everyone who had anxiously awaited his return. Your heart felt impossibly full as you eyed your chosen family. It had been so long since you all felt this united. 

“Come on, are we celebrating here or what?”, Karen called out cheerfully, meanwhile Javier took a seat on the ground next to you, guitar at the ready.

“Javier! Play us away”, Uncle cued, slumping down in his chair. As per his command, Javier started strumming the strings to a lively tune, one he always plays on nights like these where you all sing together, joyous at heart. 

You held Mary-Beth as you swayed along to the melody, wide grins all around. “ Ay, ay, ay, ayyy, canta y no llores!” , the lot of you sang at the top of your lungs once he reached the chorus, Javier continuing on wherever the rest of you weren’t able to sing along. You hummed onward, Mary-Beth grabbing your hands to skip around in a small circle and move along to the joyful moment, laughter bubbling out from your chests. You caught glimpses of when Javier would glance your way, his singing lips quirking up into a smile that reached his eyes.

“ Corazones ”, Javier held the note through cheers and applause as the song came to an end, finishing up with an extravagant strumming of the strings. 

Abigail helped Jack down, getting up, closely followed by John, which didn’t go unnoticed by you. “Alright, let’s give this boy a little bit of space”, she said with a smile, leading him away from the crowd.

“See you later!”

“It’s good to have you back, Jackie”, Karen called as they passed her. From beside you, Javier started picking at the strings once more, some getting up to grab themselves a drink, while a few stayed to listen. 

Yourself and Mary-Beth stayed put. She’s always adored his playing, same as you, and tonight was no different. You listened in attentive silence, the atmosphere calm yet bubbling with life. 

The peace held up for the majority of his song, however your trance broke as Molly and Dutch’s voices cut through from behind you. It was enough for you and Mary-Beth to turn your gazes. “You have ruined my life!”, the poor woman said through choked tears.

“I see things differently”

“Oh I’m sure you do… Leave me alone!”, she stumbled off towards the back of the house.

They’ve been squabbling more than enough recently that most others just ignored them. Oh Molly…

You shared a look with the woman next to you, one of concerned pity. 

“ Es el bien de mi vida ”, Javier concluded his song, pulling the pair of you out of your distractions to cheer him on. The man got up to his feet now, standing by you.

“That was wonderful, Javier”, Mary-Beth complimented him, and he tipped his hat.

“ Gracias, miss Mary-Beth”. She beamed as she turned on her heel, squeezing your hand still in hers lightly before leaving to join Tilly, who was taking it easy by the house. You followed her with your eyes as she walked, feeling a hand softly caressing your lower back. “How are you feeling, mi vida? ”, his words tickled your ear as his lips found a spot next to it. You whipped your head around to meet his charmed expression. 

“Just fine”, you smiled, his hand dropping from your back to reach for your hand, your fingers just barely intertwining as you moved yours around his, like a caressing dance. His eyes glanced down at them, his eyes softening. 

“And what do you think of my playing, miss? ”, he asked cleverly, the cadence of his voice smooth and low, and you huffed softly, your smile widening. 

“You know very well what I think of your music, Javi”

“Do I now?”. Your soft toying of your joint fingers came to a halt as he interlocked his with yours properly to gently pull you along with him a couple of steps back. The rest of camp had already been too busy with their own to pay you any mind, but now next to the thick tree by the tent you faded even further into the background. You huffed a soft laugh as he held your eyes intently.

“Well I would like to think so, how awful wouldn’t it be if you thought I joined you every time you play just to internally critique you”, you answered, and he snickered lightly. Javier rested his head against the trunk as he looked at you and you did the same, tipping your head to the side. He reached out to move a stray piece of hair away from your face, letting his fingers caress your cheek in the process of retracting his hand. He looked at you like it was his first time seeing anything at all, eyes full of wonder, the hand not clutching the neck of his guitar reaching out for yours again. 

“Yeah that would be pretty awful”, he played along finally, and you giggled lightly.

“Javier, where are you? Come play for us!”, Karen called out slurred from the table further back where she was joined by Grimshaw and Pearson. You looked over your shoulder to see her look around, seemingly not yet noticing that Javier was in front of you.

Turning back Javier huffed softly, lifting his guitar as a way of conveying his duty was calling. You gave him an understanding look, heart fluttering watching him lift your hand up to place a supple, lingering kiss on top of it. “ Te encontraré más tarde ”, he added quickly, before stepping away, finally noticed by a restless Karen.

“There you are! Come on slowpoke!”. You looked after him as he sat down, playing along to their little raunchy song. With a soft exhale, you pushed yourself off of the trunk to wander off toward the food wagon, pouring yourself a cup of water. Despite feeling tons better than before, you still had a modest throb in your head you couldn’t seem to get rid of for right now. But it was a pain you welcomed compared to how much worse the outcome could have been. 

Distracted by the pain, you jumped slightly as someone accidentally bumped into you. “S-sorry”, Kieran was quick to apologise.

“You’re quite alright, Kieran, I just got startled is all”, you reassured him with a smile, and he seemed to relax at that. You looked between him, here at the outskirts of the celebration, and the very core of it around the well lit tables and campfire. “Why don’t you join in on the festivities?”, you urged him. 

“Oh, no, that’s alright. I’d rather give you all your moment”, he explained, looking down at the beer in his hand. You nodded along in understanding, however not missing the longing glances he sent the others enjoying themselves. 

“Hey”. Kieran swiftly met your gaze. “I wanted to thank you for helping me earlier”, you said sincerely, and he seemed taken back by your heartfelt gratitude, immediately attempting to downplay it.

“No need, I, uh, of course I would help”, he smiled carefully. You reciprocated the smile, clinking your cup of water to his bottle. 

“I’m glad we have you around, enjoy your evening”, you straightened up from where you leaned against Pearson’s crafting table, about to leave when Kieran, whose eyes were widened from your considerate words, spoke up.

“By the way I-”, you turned back to him. “I noticed your horse had some of your blood on her coat, so I cleaned her for ya”. His tone was a little careful, like he was half expecting you to be upset he managed your horse without asking first. Your curious expression softened. 

“That’s very kind of you Kieran, thank you”. He gave you a nod, the careful smile manifesting into a genuine one as you walked off. 

People seemed to have calmed down by now, except for a few who had decided tonight was the night to drink themselves half blind. You weren’t surprised, however still concerned, to see Karen was one of them. Her head was currently in a bush as she hurled up the contents of her stomach all while Mary-Beth rubbed her back comfortingly. “I told you you’ve had enough…”

You almost jumped again when Javier appeared out of nowhere it seemed, pulling you along with him. 

“Where are we-”. He shushed you gently, and you let him drag you along, only stopping when you reached the very outskirts of camp, past the various shacks and huts in the back. Before you could repeat your question, he pulled you in close, letting himself be trapped between your body and the trunk of a tree. His lips met yours hungrily, and you kissed him back with just as much fervour. 

His hands cupped both your cheeks as he held you tightly, and yours found refuge by his waist, your fingers caressing him over his vest. “You’re so beautiful”, Javier murmured against your lips, and you sighed softly to his praise. One hand left your cheek, and you half-mindedly wondered where it went as you didn’t feel it touch you anywhere else.

A short moment later it was back by your ear, fingers tucking your hair behind it before placing something there. Curious, you opened your eyes, the worship of his lips pausing as you pulled away slightly, reaching up to feel the soft petals of a flower.

Upon realising, you looked back at Javier who wore an enticed expression, one drunk on love as he observed you. Glancing above him you spotted a cluster of ghost orchids. He smiled tenderly as he watched the cogs turn in your head. “Had to make sure you got a replacement”, he eventually said, his hands dropping to grab a firm hold of your waist, thumbs caressing you over the fabric. 

You eyed him for a moment, your heart feeling as though it was about to burst, swelling at the sheer sight of the man in front of you. Raising your arms, you wrapped them around his neck to pull him close to you again, eyelashes fluttering against his skin as you nuzzled into him. You placed supple kisses along his jaw before reconnecting your lips with his once more, and he welcomed you in like he was a man starved and you had just knocked on his door with a three course meal.

His hold on you only tightened as you went on, encapsulating you in a way that felt like you were shielded from any harm that could ever reach you. The atmosphere, your thoughts… it was all him. All the two of you . Your entire body felt warm and your heart full as the moment melted into the faint forming of something like a silent promise. A promise of safety and devotion unlike anything you’ve experienced before .

Chapter Text

With Jack returned to camp safe and sound, it was as if everyone could breathe easier, the tense atmosphere would’ve just about been fully dispersed right around this time if not for the remaining uncertainty regarding the Pinkertons. Dutch had spent the previous day boasting about your newly established connection to Angelo Bronte, and their personal invitation to this extravagant event held by the mayor of Saint Denis that very same evening. He was ever the man of opportunities, you don’t reckon that will ever change. You still didn’t quite know what they’d gotten up to there yet, the previous night, but they must’ve had quite a time, as Arthur was still fast asleep in his room.

Strolling about the property with a half-empty cup of coffee in hand, allowing yourself an easy start to the early afternoon, you ended up at the back of the old plantation house. It was another bright day, the thick moisture from the steaming swamp noticeably enhanced from the heat radiating off the sun. You walked along the edge, making sure to keep away from the water. With everything going on at the moment you’d rather not add an alligator attack to the list. 

The unkept lawn was mostly adorned in green blades of grass or tiny, dry yellow plants, so passing by the contrasting pink flowers, you took a closer look. The Oleander Sage was unmistakable, protruding through the green with its poisonous, vibrant petals. You looked around, seeing if Jack or Cain was anywhere in this area, which luckily it seemed like they weren’t. As a general rule, Abigail didn't let him wander off around there in the back because of the alligators, however you still didn’t want to take any chances of either of them somehow accidentally ingesting the deadly plant.

You rolled up the sleeves of your shirt to relieve yourself of the heat at least a little, crouching down starting to yank the tall Oleander out of the dirt by the root. It’s quite the pretty flower, despite its fatal qualities. 

Eyes trailing your working hands, you didn’t pay mind to whoever was walking behind you. At least not until they crouched down next to you. 

“Javier”, you said his name in a smile upon facing him, which he fondly mirrored. Lost in your gaze it took him a moment to revert his attention back to the reason why he spotted you down by the ground from across the lot. A flash of amusement and curiosity came over his face. 

“Someone piss you off?”, he asked cleverly, eyeing your hand clutching the Oleander Sage. You looked at him bewildered for just a second before making the connection. Huffing softly through your nose, you looked down at the flower. 

“Yeah, I might just accidentally slip my hand over Micah’s bowl of stew later”. Javier chuckled lightly at that, standing back up. You accepted his hand as you followed his lead, letting go of his hold to flatten out any creases in your skirt.

“In that case I won’t try to stop you”

Snickering once more, you held the seedlings out for him to take. “Actually, they’re for you”.

“For me?”, he asked with a brow raised, and you caught his playful undertone. 

“For your knives , dummy”, you corrected with a slight eye roll, watching the glint in his eyes as he laughed. Javier took the plant from your grasp, replacing it with his hand.

“ Gracias hermosa ”, he pulled your arm lightly towards himself, and you stumbled forward just enough for him to plant a kiss on your cheek. Watching him affectionately from the close proximity of your faces, any teasing thoughts or comments disappeared, replaced by sheer adoration. Javier eyed you with the same tenderness, however as a thought appeared amidst his racing mind, a look of determination flashed over his features. “Why don’t you come with me to the city today?”, he asked you, and your brows quirked.

“Saint Denis?”

“Yeah, I need to get a new necktie for the river boat job later… We could, you know, make a day out of it”, he shrugged, his expression nonchalant, however bearing a notable trace of hopefulness. You had been so taken by his words and soft gazes that you only now realised he was decked out from head to toe in one of his best suits, and it took everything in you to not get lost in just how well it fit him. It was like it was created with only him in mind, sculpted and tailored to his exact measurements, the colour and details complementing his naturally alluring features. 

“A day? You certain you have time?”

“Sure, it’s not until sunset anyway”, Javier looked down at your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours before finding your gaze once more. “Besides, how long has it been since we just went out somewhere for fun?”, he added. 

Forever…

“You’re right… alright, let’s go then!”, you said, unable to suppress the excitement now coursing through your body at the thought of spending some time alone with him while exploring a new city again, the feeling manifesting itself in a smile reaching your eyes. Javier flashed a grin at your answer, taking a few steps back while his eyes remained on you, his body language telling you to follow along. And so you did, not wasting a second.

Javier dropped the Oleander Sage off by his tent, meeting you by the horses. You were just about to get on yours, when Javier clearing his throat made you turn your head towards him. He was waiting by Boaz with an arm already held out towards you. “ Señorita ”, he said in an exaggerated elegant tone, and accompanied by the suit he reminded you of a proper high-society man.

You let go of your horse’s saddle, stepping towards him. Once you stood flush in front of him he placed his hands on either side of your waist, and with a soft jump he helped lift you onto the back of Boaz, before he climbed up to take a firm seat atop the saddle. You placed your arms around him, careful not to crumple his fancy attire as he kicked Boaz into a light trot. 

~

The western entrances of Saint Denis were greyer than you imagined, nothing Arthur told you could’ve prepared you for the sheer amount of thick, polluted clouds piping out of the tall chimneys of the giant factories. The air also felt tainted as soon as you reached the city limits, however as you ventured further inside, the factories faded into the background, opening up for the view of the many narrow streets and alleys of eastern Lemoyne’s industrialised big city. You’ve never been to such a densely populated place, almost feeling overwhelmed observing the many people you rode past, each one with their own life, problems and daily routines. 

The bustling noises from buskers playing their instruments, the trolleys driving along the clinking metal tracks, and from fame seekers preaching their teachings through books and pamphlets they were trying to sell, overpowered your senses as you tried to take it all in. A particularly nasty feller calling out for racial ‘purity’ elicited a chain of tired, mumbled curses to leave Javier’s lips. Kicking a few extra times with his stirrup he upped the horse’s pace to get out of earshot from the racist man’s invasive and ridiculous attempt at advertising his separation ideals. 

Hitching Boaz outside of the little square park, Javier led you over to the tailor’s shop. ‘C.D. Coursey’, the sign dangling above the heavy wooden entrance read, and Javier held the door open for you. You’ve been to a proper tailor before back in Blackwater, sure, however this particular one was something else entirely . The ceiling was tall, the space wide and adorned with polished tile flooring, lavish patterns, and furniture alongside decorative details embellished with golden accents. The air inside was freshly scented with a faint mix of florals and the clean scent of unsoiled fabrics; spotless, polished, and ready to be used. 

“Hello, come on in”, the shopkeeper greeted you politely as you took a look around the foyer. Various different clothing items and outfits were already on display, vibrant colours and elegant garments neatly folded at the different stations. You flashed him a kind smile before walking over to a display table, tracing the textile softly with your fingers. 

It’s been some time since you allowed yourself the luxury of splurging on a new set of clothes. Usually you just rotate between the few couple of skirts, pants or shirts you acquired years ago, current day fashion trends be damned. Most in camp do the same, though you reckon Javier is the one with the most variation in terms of wardrobe. He’s always been quite the one for upkeeping good appearances.

Looking back over at where Javier resided, you saw him try on a top hat. You couldn’t help the tiny giggle escaping your lips as he turned to you. 

“What?”

“Nothing… You’re looking quite fancy. Like you’re-.”, you cocked your head slightly to the side, trying to figure out who he reminded you of. Your smile only widened when you figured it out, expression turning clever. “-like you’re Trelawny’s distant Mexican cousin”. It only took a moment before the top hat no longer sat on Javier’s head, being neatly placed back down. 

Giggling once more, he gazed at you, before huffing a laugh along with you, ushering you off. “Okay, okay, I saw it too, now go back to looking”. You gave him a knowing look before turning back around, eyes once again fixed on some hats in the corner that were decorated with faux florals in vibrant colours. 

“What do you think of these?”. You looked up as Javier approached you after some time, holding up two different puff ties in each hand, switching between holding them up in front of his collar by the mirror. You took a step closer, inspecting the black and dark grey striped one, comparing it to the emerald green one clutched carefully in his right fist.

“I like the darker one, it complements the suit”

“ Perfecto ”, Javier agreed pleased, putting away the spare, walking over to ask the tailor to show him his shoe selection. He’s always been one for admiring a good pair of elegant and robust boots too.

While he remained occupied, you took a stroll around the room, perusing the intricate clothing of the current city style. None of it seemed rather practical for the ruffer and more rugged part of your everyday life and occupation, but the peculiar shapes and high-end looks of the dresses did pique your interest. In the back of your mind you started wondering just what kind of life these women lead. Their search for their spot in civilised society, their dreams and worries probably much different from yours… Or perhaps not too different in the end. 

Deep in thought, you paused in front of a displayed outfit. A pure milky-white shirt with elbow length sleeves and delicately laced doily detailing at the front. The shirt was paired with a gorgeous dark royal blue skirt, with a complimentary frill at the middle-region as well as on the bottom hem. Next to the pairing, a beige round straw hat with an elegant bow tied around as the band rested on its own pillar.

“You see something you like, miss?”. The tailor’s approach startled you slightly, and you looked to the man now standing next to you.

“Oh, I’m just look-”

“Now this is extremely popular amongst the younger ladies in the city”, he cut you off as if you never opened your mouth at all, motioning towards the display you had just admired. “The ‘ Doily Shirtwaist ’ is elegant, yet light for the southern summers, and paired with the ‘Constance Skirt’ it ensures that high-end finish to your overall look”, he explained, reaching to lift the hat off of the stand. “Especially paired with the hat you’re sure to stay protected from the sun without spoiling the rest of the ensemble”, he tipped the headwear to present the different angles to you.

“It’s all very lovely, but-”

“All the pieces come in their own variations of colours of course, you’re more than welcome to try”, the man looked you up and down, eyeing your current, worn, attire before glancing at your hands. “-just make sure to clean up a bit before grabbing anything”, he added before placing the hat back down and making his return towards the register. 

Stumped by his comment you raised your hands slightly towards yourself, noticing the slight remnants of the dirt and weak green stains tainting them from when you had dug up the Oleander Sage earlier, before moving your eyes further down to inspect your clothes. They weren’t necessarily dirty, however the once vibrant colours had faded slightly as you’ve worn them over the years, leaving them with an overall dull visage. You’ve always taken good care of your clothing, however there’s only so much you can do to prevent wear and tears living the way you all have been. 

Suddenly, you felt quite out of place in the midst of the regal appearance of the shop. While rubbing your hands together covertly to rub away the dirt as if to rid yourself of the unforeseen undignified feeling taking a claim on you, a gentle hand was placed on your lower back. 

“Come on”, Javier ushered you along towards the dressing room, grabbing the respective clothing pieces as he passed them.

“What?”

“You should try it on”, he gently pushed you by the lower back all the way to the door in the back of the shop. You turned your head towards him, shooting him a look.

“Don’t be silly, we came here for you”, you paused as his arm guided you past the door frame, swiftly grabbing the wooden trim to turn around and face him fully. Lowering your voice now you made sure the tailor couldn’t overhear. “Besides, I’m not even going on the mission”.

“Doesn’t matter, querida , if you like it you should try it”, he held the clothes out for you to take, and once again you looked at your hands. “Nevermind that”, he said upon watching your motions, and you exhaled prolongedly before wiping your hands on your skirt one last time, taking the attire from his waiting arms. He smiled as you closed the dark hardwood door behind you, taking a comfortable seat on the luscious red cotton couch in the lounge area.

Now alone amongst the equally decadent decor of the dressing room, you sighed, placing the outfit on top of a stool in the corner. Facing the mirror you spotted a modest table with a basin and a matching carafe of water resting atop it. Seems the tailor was prepared for any sorts of people to enter his pristine shop. Carefully pouring the water into the basin you scrubbed your hands clean of the earthly residue, wiping them dry on a towel hanging neatly off the side of the table. 

Swiftly you started undressing, not caring too much for the way your clothes fell all crumpled to the floor as you picked up the items neatly folded on the chair. The fresh fabric felt soft against your skin when you draped the doily shirtwaist over your head, threading your arms through the sleeves. Tucking the shirt into the deep blue skirt, you tightened the band, adjusting it to fit your waist snugly. You smoothed out your hair as well as you could using your hands before placing the hat on your head. 

Turning to the mirror you spared yourself a few glances, making sure everything sat just right. You had hardly processed the reflection before a few knocks on the door made themselves present. 

“I’m dressed”, you answered, turning around when the doorknob twisted open. Javier peeked his head in first before entering properly, his eyes instantly running up and down your form as a smile crept up on his face. He let out a short, soft, teasing whistle, and you rolled your eyes lightly.

“You look lovely”

“Like a proper city girl, eh?”, you asked cleverly, propping your hands on your hips. Javier’s smile widened at your tone.

“Prettier”

“Prettier than these flourishing, finely groomed, high-society women?”, you followed again with a little exaggerated southern flair to your words. Javier huffed softly.

“Those city folks all look stuck-up anyway, you wear it better”. You only smiled at that, letting up as your arms fell gently to your sides once more, your gaze moving to observe what Javier currently carried in his hands. 

“What’s that?”. His gaze still fixed on you broke at your question, and he swiftly presented the items so you could see. 

“I just saw these and thought they’d fit nicely. I noticed a lot of people around here wear them”, he shrugged, handing you the pair of black, heeled shoes. “Uh, Verity stocking shoes he called it”, Javier added upon recalling the name, gesturing a thumb over his shoulder towards the direction of the tailor in the next room. The heels on them were similar to your other shoes, however the overall style was more elegant than the Atteberry lace boots you usually wear with your skirts. 

“I guess I can try ‘em out”, you said through your inspection of the shoes, kneeling down to untie the laces of your dark brown boots. The stocking shoes fit surprisingly well, and you got back up to your feet to feel them out properly. You lifted the skirt ever so slightly so you could see the shoes in the mirror, twisting your foot a little to take in all the angles. It was only then you finally took a good look at yourself, and you felt as though someone else entirely stared back at you. Still you, however a version of you that appeared more put together. A version of you who had everything lined up for her, who you’d never think ran actively with a notorious gang of outlaws living off the land and whatever they could rob. 

Javier stepped into the reflection too, eyeing you admiringly through the mirror, before reaching for something he had placed in his pocket; a silky, satin ribbon matching the colour of your skirt. Gently he tied it around your collar, a delicate bow adorning your neck. 

“ Magnífica ”, he murmured softly, hands snaking to rest at the sides of your waist. His chin rested atop your shoulder as his gaze stayed marvelling at your form in the mirror. A bashful smile snaked up across your lips as you let yourself take in his affirming words. Javier turned his head slightly to place a slow, lingering kiss on your jaw, which in turn only made your closed-lipped smile wider. 

“We look quite proper, don’t we”, you broke the silence, making Javier turn back ahead to take another look at the both of you together. At this, he straightened up, expression keen as his eyes found yours. 

“I bet we could walk around like this all day and no one would even think it’s our first time here”. You snickered at the thought, looking down at your skirt, clutching a hold of the material. 

“Yeah”

“Maybe we should”, he followed up, and you looked at him with quirked brows. 

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s an entirely new wardrobe”, you started saying unsure, mind on the price labels you read next to the displays. 

“Come on, think of it as… an investment!”, Javier argued easily. He let go of you to pick up your discarded clothing from the floor, before turning back to look at you with a glint in his eyes. “Don’t think this will be the only time I take you out, hermosa ”. 

You felt your heart flutter lighty at the implication of more time alone with him, however your expression remained hesitant as you weighed your options. Noting your continuous uncertainty, he spoke up once more, taking a step towards you as his index finger lifted your chin so your gazes could meet. “If it’s the cost that’s bothering you, cariño , I can cover it”.

“No, Javier, that’s a waste of your money”

“You deserve to feel as beautiful as you are, mi vida. Allow me to help you feel that way, screw the money”. You might’ve not noticed it yourself, but Javier caught the glint in your eyes when you first took in your reflection. As much as saving money was an admirable trait of yours, he still wanted you to enjoy whatever small sources of happiness you could find in your everyday life. If one of those sources could be splurging on new clothes every now and again, then he would make damn sure you didn’t just shut it down out of pure habit.

Life’s too short, he had long since realised after watching people close to him die throughout all stages of his life. Enjoy and stay loyal to what you have and keep on pushing ahead was his day-to-day mantra.

“You already do that without spending anything on me, Javi”. Your expression finally softened out of its sceptical folds, as you reached for his hand that was supporting your chin. “I’ll cover it”, you assured him, turning your head to eye your reflection once more. He was right, it did make you feel more graceful and charming, a sentiment that is scarce in your current lifestyle. The colours and rich material complemented your complexion and made your hair look more vibrant and lively. Reaching up you removed your hat. “Tho I think I’ll drop the hat. I snuck a peek at the label outside and it costs almost as much as the shirt and skirt combined ”, you gave him a look, before passing him.

Leaving the dressing room, you walked up to the counter, letting the tailor inspect your attire to ring up the correct amount. “An excellent choice, miss, you look quite ready for the southern city life”. Smiling politely at his complement, you reached for your satchel, handing him the bills. 

“You wait outside, I still have to grab that puff tie”, Javier directed you, and you took your previous clothes and shoes out of his grasp, turning on your heels to exit the store after bidding the shopkeeper your goodbyes. 

As soon as you stepped outside, the bustling noises filled your ears once more. Two women pranced by you, deep in conversation, however taking the time to shoot you a couple of respectable smiles as they glanced your way. They were quickly bypassed by a man going in the opposite direction of them, seemingly in a hurry. As he spotted you on his merry way, he tipped his hat in your direction. “Miss”. You only exchanged a quick ‘sir’, before he disappeared around the corner. Suddenly, you didn’t feel quite so out of place. At least on an exterior level, you felt all the more comfortable being in the midst of all this commotion. 

You always preferred blending in rather than standing out. It allowed you to remain in some sort of control. Your lonely, hermit-like upbringing might be to blame for the overwhelming feeling washing over you whenever you neared a crowd that was just a tad too grand. Hence why you preferred smaller towns and sticking to the sides of the people close to your heart. A place like Saint Denis was hardly your forte, however, it still felt somewhat exciting now that you were in the very core of it, eyes wandering across the tall facades of the lavish buildings framing the intertwining streets. 

As the bell above the door rang, you promptly felt something being placed on your head. Hand reached up to grab at the sturdy, straw rim of the hat you intended on leaving behind, swiftly turning to look at Javier. “Oh, come on”.

“It completes the look”, Javier justified with a shrugging motion. “Now be grateful”, he then added with a little cleverness to his tone, and you held his stare, a smile creeping up on your lips to match his. 

“Thank you”.

Javier reached out, his fingers resting under your jaw to caress your cheek with his thumb in a couple of sweeping motions, before letting his hand fall back down. “De nada”. He turned his head to look around you, his turn to take in your surroundings. “Where do you want to go?”

“Oh, I don’t know… Maybe there’s some small saloon we can go to where we won’t attract too much attention-”. You paused as Javier scoffed.

“Today we’re just like the rest of these fools, remember? Let’s not hide away”, he presented his arm to you, and you eyed it before swiftly taking it, interlocking your arm with his. Spending a day as ‘high-society’? Could be interesting, you thought with a growing smile. 

“Sure”. Javier bowed his head slightly with a pleased expression at your answer, letting his gaze wander once more. It stopped in the direction of distant piano music.

“Are you hungry?”

“Starving”

Without another word, he led you along towards the La Bastille , a quite fancy-looking saloon across the road from the park. Passing by Boaz, you stopped to stuff your clothes into one of the saddlebags, swiftly joining Javier once more as you entered the saloon. You were greeted by a waft of smoke, expensive wood, and the delicious smell emitting from the kitchen. The room was filled with small talk, cheers from the poker table and the gentle notes from a piano in the corner of the wide set of stairs. 

The barkeeper greeted you from across the room as you took a few steps inside. Javier relaxed his arm, moving it from yours to place a hand at the small of your back. Leaning in slightly closer to your ear to make himself heard over the noise, he spoke, “Go find a spot upstairs, I’ll get the food”.

Exchanging sweet looks you split up, ascending the many steps up the staircase and ignoring the men eyeing you keenly from the lounge in front of the rental bath. Passing the bath’s door, you bumped into a man exiting the room, hair still dripping wet. “Watch yourself there sweetheart”, he called out through a smirk, a hand finding your upper arm. 

“You watch it”, you mumbled before snaking yourself out of his hold and past him through the tight corridor. Hand twisting the doorknob, you exited out onto the balcony, taking a breath. Around you the busy noise from the streets appeared once more. To be such a big town, it felt so very constricting. Like you could hardly move around. Surveying the balcony you couldn’t spot anyone, only an array of empty tables. 

Pleased to be alone, you took a seat at the closest one, observing the streets from above after you fished out a cigarette from the pack in your satchel. You took slow drags as you shamelessly listened in on a lady and some man arguing on the road below. He had gotten off his horse just a tad too close to her, making her tumble a few steps backwards. 

“How dare you?!”

“Ma’am, I-I swear to you I wasn’t trying to-”

He was cut off as her hand made contact with his face, the sound of the slap audible all the way up to your seat on the balcony. You watched it all unfold with enthusiastic interest, your lips wrapping around the cigarette for another inhale of smoke.  

“You wench!”, the man yelled at the lady while cradling his sore cheek, who sharply turned back to face him with daggers for eyes.

“Vulgar, young man, don’t you speak like that to me!”

You hardly noticed Javier appearing from the doorway, clutching the plates of prime rib and a medium sized bottle of wine tucked under his arm. He gazed upon the way the soft breeze moved a few strands of your hair, and your gentle expression staring out onto the street with the cigarette resting comfortably between two of your fingers. “I’d take a picture of you if I had one of those cameras”, he said with a gentle expression, making his presence known while setting the food down in front of you. You shot him a smile, bringing the cigarette to your lips once more before tapping the stump into the ashtray. As he poured you a glass, you eyed him. 

“Why not”

“Why not what?”

“Why not get a picture taken? Arthur showed me this fancy photo they got of him with Dutch and Hosea long ago, you know, for the memories. I think it could be fun, since we’re looking so smart already and all”. Javier had taken a seat while you spoke, watching you keenly from across the little wooden table.

“ Claro , would be a shame to not immortalise your beauty somehow”. He gave you a light nudge under the table. 

Sheer warmth emitted from his eyes, and excitedly you crossed your feet at the ankles, straightening up from the backrest of the chair to cut into your food. 

It was honestly the best meal you’ve had in months, and you savoured every bite until the plate was empty and the bottle of wine had a notable dent in its liquid content.

Javier got up to circle around the table, placing his hands on the back of your chair to help scoot it away from the table. Once you were on your feet again, he offered you his arm, in which you hooked your own into snugly. 

Walking the streets once more, you felt light. The most relaxed you’ve felt since things started to go south in Clemens Point. In your mind, Pinkertons were a mere fantasy; a threat that felt so far out of reach at that very moment, you’d almost think they'd never even been real in the first place if you allowed yourself not to ponder on it. It was just you and Javier, existing together in the midst of a mixing pot of life and culture. Just a couple of strangers to anyone you passed, no one batting as much as an eye at your presence. At least as long as you stayed out of anyone’s direct path.

“Here it is”, Javier announced as you came to a halt. You tilted your head upwards to glance at the shop, reading the many advertisements for portraits and photographs written across the building. 

As you entered, the shop was completely empty, save for the equipment and some quite exotic looking backdrops placed strategically against one of the walls. The bell must’ve alerted the photographer as he peeped his head out of a door in the back of the room, furrowed brows smoothing out as he spotted the pair of you by the door. “Please, come on in!”, he enthusiastically invited you to take some steps away from the door while he entered the little back room once more. “Excuse me for just one moment!”, you heard him say in the midst of some rustling and clinking noises. He must’ve hurried to finish up what he was doing, promptly exiting the room fully to greet you properly. 

“Now, what can I help you two with today?”, he asked with a pleased grin, looking between you and Javier. Javier glanced at you for a second before clearing his throat. 

“Well, we’d like a photo”

“Fantastic! What do you have in mind? I offer a variety of services. Headshots? Architectural? Wildlife? Portrait? Or perhaps a documentary photograph, those are so very interesting”. He spoke fast and passionately as he listed them, his smile was still wide upon awaiting your answer, however Javier looked more confused than ever. 

“Just a photo”, he eventually shrugged, not knowing what to say. The man, his smile frozen in place though his eyes revealed he did not understand exactly what photo you wanted, glanced your way.

“A, ehm, a portrait?”, you hoped to clarify, and the photographer regained his prior energetic demeanour in tenfolds. 

“A portrait, of course, I just love doing portraits”, he clapped his hands together, keeping them closed as he turned towards the backdrop. “Please, take a seat, position yourselves however you like”, he then motioned towards the equipment, ushering the both of you to take your spots. A little unsure of the process, the pair of you carefully made your way over there, almost jumping just a little when the man spoke up once more. “Oh! I almost forgot, you need to pick the scenery. Take your time choosing whatever you fancy”. He motioned towards a rope by the canvases, and you quietly stepped over to give it a yank. 

The contraption made a squeaking sound as another backdrop rolled into place, depicting a beachfront view with distant waves and palm trees framing the canvas. “Well look at that… quite exotic, ain’t it?”, you glanced over at Javier who shared your knowing smile. This wasn’t quite what you had in mind.

“Lovely, isn’t it. I got that done by a painter who’s travelled to some of the islands in the Caribbean. Have you fine folks been down that way?”

“I fear not, sir”, Javier answered him politely.

“Me neither, a shame really…”, the photographer spoke bummed, more so to himself than you. You pulled the rope once more, eyes widening upon setting eyes on an island and a ship closing in, which at first glance seemed normal. However, looking around, various humanoid figures were placed in the sky or in the water, one of them holding lightning bolts while the one in the water held this fork-looking thing. They looked kind of regal or important somehow, painted with some faint glow surrounding them, though you had no clue what they were meant to be.

“ Oh my …” you said through your lack of words, trying to sound polite.

“Ah yes, this is a special one. Are you familiar with the Odyssey?”. Upon noting both yours and Javier’s confused looks he quickly took the hint. “It’s a Greek-… nevermind”.

“Do a lot of people request this?”, you asked in all earnestness. The man opened his mouth as if to answer yes, however stopped himself.

“… well no, only the historian at the library wanted it but his wife insisted on anything but that…”, he seemed a little upset thinking back to that past appointment, however quickly regained his positive composure. “They went for the Caribbean theme instead, which is always sure to add a fun touch to the portrait”. You only smiled at him before pulling the rope again. There was no need to even ask to know Javier wasn’t feeling that one either.

The next image emerged, revealing a part of a white fountain in front of a yellow intricate building with a sturdy white stonewall enclosing the small area in the background. Beyond that you could see tall red-stoned cliffs, small patches of green cactuses amidst desert grounds, and a huge river cutting through the land in the distance. You looked over to Javier who seemed to have his eyes glued to the canvas.

“Now this one is a gem from across the border. The same painter who traversed the Caribbean also went south through some of the closest mainland countries. Quite an explorer that one, got this motif from this place, uh, Chuparosa ”, he pronounced in a thickly Americanised way. “That’s in-”.

“Mexico”, Javier finished his sentence for him, gaze still not breaking from the painting. 

“You've been there, sir?”

At that he looked away, eyeing the photographer propped by his camera. “Yeah I’ve been through there…”, he looked back as he added a little quieter, “a long time ago…”.

You had been observing him during their exchange. It wasn’t often Javier’s homesickness showed externally, and so seeing the way he clung to the image with his eyes, and the look on his face… you’re not quite sure you’ve ever seen him this visibly longing for the home he once knew. This was most likely the first time in five years he’s even seen a visual glimpse of his homeland.

“We’d love to do this one, sir”, you spoke up, certain, and Javier at last looked at you. His expression was a mix of many things, however you picked up on appreciation the strongest of all. 

“Excellent! Now make yourselves comfortable. Feel free to use the chairs or not, and if you’d like you can move the table with the flowers, whatever you prefer”. As he rambled on whilst adjusting his camera, Javier reached his hand out for you to join him. He chastely kissed the top of your hand placed safely in his while giving you an affectionate look as you went to take a seat on the chair.

Straightening up you angled yourself slightly to the left, Javier took a spot right at your left side as well. You still weren’t quite sure what to do, the whole experience rather humbling as the eager photographer peered at you from the camera, waiting for you to give him the green light. After some fiddling and self-conscious readjustments, you finally found a position that felt somewhat comfortable.

Gently, Javier, with one arm already positioned behind his back, placed his right hand atop your shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. You felt an urge to place your hand on top of his, and before you could even register it, your left arm moved, fingers and palm finding anchor on his warm skin. 

Almost as if being pulled, you turned your head to look up at him, meeting him already peering down at you with fondness radiating off his expression. You mirrored it, the sweetest of smiles dancing in your lips. Before you could quite think, a dawning flash erupted in your peripheral, and the two of you instinctively looked to the photographer.

“Oh, was that the photo?”, Javier asked. Neither of you had quite meant to not face the lens.

The photographer seemed surprised, then apologetic. “I thought you were ready, my mistake”, he quickly excused himself, however you stopped him. 

“It’s fine, we’ll want two pictures either way”, you spoke for the two of you, feeling Javier glance at you. 

“A fine choice, miss, cause that photo was just excellent . What I call candid, which is just the best kind of photograph”, he went on talking, while fiddling with the camera, removing the undeveloped photograph to prep the camera for your next picture. “Now, let me know when you’re ready”.

You straightened up once more, keeping the same pose, however this time making sure to smile directly at the camera. After a few moments the bright light flashed again as he took your portrait. “Lovely! Now give me just a few minutes and I’ll develop these for you”, he assured you as he walked back into the room he came out from earlier.

You let your hand fall to your lap before getting up, seeing that once again Javier’s eyes were scanning the familiar scene behind you. Walking around the chair to stand next to him, you gently intertwined your fingers with his as you grabbed a hold of his upper arm with your other hand. Resting your cheek against his shoulder you spoke softly, “What was it like there?”.

Javier glanced down at you, your eyes remaining ahead. “Chuparosa? Rugged town that attracts a bunch of bandits… But, it’s still a piece of home”, he shrugged, and his smooth voice almost broke just a little. At that you peered up at him, pressing your lips against his shoulder before resting your chin on it.

“You think you’ll ever go back?”

A light puff of air left his nostrils as a weak smile appeared on his lips. His umber eyes found yours at last, giving you a bittersweet look. “I don’t think so, cariño . I’ll be hunted down as soon as I step one foot past the border… I’ve left it all behind me, and I’m at peace with that”, he sighed lightly, almost like a weight was lifted off his shoulder as he spoke the words out loud. You didn’t respond, only inspecting his expression closer all while your brows furrowed in slight worry. You felt sad for him, always have ever since you learned of his past. But no matter how many times you’ve heard it before, whenever you listen to him talk about Mexico, your heart breaks just a little more for him each time. He was not as at peace with it as he tried to convince himself he was.

Javier seemed to note your concern, moving his free arm to place his hand atop yours clutching at his bicep. “Don’t worry yourself, preciosa . Plus, the way things are over there right now I’m not sure it’s the safest place to take you”, he spoke, expression turning sympathetic. 

“What, you don’t think I could hold my own over there?”, you challenged teasingly, and Javier picked up on your clever tone’s attempt at lighting his mood. He snickered at that, a smirk planted on his lips.

“Of course you can. I was thinking of my safety, since you’d probably accidentally out me the way you can’t help your ’sticky fingers‘, that end up stealing anything you set your mind to”, he joked, pinching your nose lightly which made you scrunch it as you backed your head away, chuckling. 

“I’m not an idiot, I’d never do anything I knew could put you in danger”, you defended yourself, to which he only snickered once again. 

“Lo sé, mi vida”, he kissed your forehead lovingly.

“I’m sorry for the wait, but art takes time!”, the man declared upon opening the door, and at that you reluctantly let go of Javier so you could greet the photographer. “They turned out beautifully ”, he presented the photos to you both, and your eyes widened as you stared into the rectangular portrait. It was quite something else to see a moment captured this way, to know you’d leave the shop with a physical memory to keep of your time here. It made your heart swell, reaching out to take one of them out of his hands carefully. Besides, this was the first time seeing yourself in a photograph. 

“Look at that, Javi”, you pointed to the pair of you, and he leaned in closer to look more properly. With a smile, he faced the man.

“How much for them?”

“Ten dollars would be just perfect”. Javier reached for his pocket, handing the man his payment. 

“Thank you”, you spoke gratefully once you finally managed to look away from the images. 

“It was my pleasure, you two make sure you stop by again if you’re ever in need of any other photographic assistance”.

Leaving the photo studio, Javier held out the other picture to you. “Oh no, we keep one each”, you insisted, and a pleased smile snaked up on his lips as he retracted his arm. He had hoped you’d say that. 

“Which one do you want?”

“I’d like to keep this one”, you said, holding up the one where you were facing each other. You couldn’t get enough of it, as it felt like you could feel the way he looked at you then, as if he was still gazing upon you with such care and adoration, every time you looked at it. 

You placed the picture safely inside the little journal you keep in your satchel. The very back of the book had a slot for a photograph that you’ve never known what to do with. Until now. 

Javier only gave you a fond look at your answer, holding out his hand clutching his photo once more. “Could you hang onto it for now, I don’t want to lose it on the job later”.

“’Course, I’ll put it with your stuff when I get back”

It was Arthur who had once inspired you to keep a journal, however unlike him you weren’t as persistent with it, often forgetting all about noting down your daily endeavours, be they important or otherwise. It’s still the very same one you’ve had for years, barely even used to the halfway mark. Filled with random notes, it contained trivial scribbles that carried no connection or coherency. You still kept it close though. During sleepless nights where your heart felt extra heavy, you’d skim through the pages, fondly examining the ones that were scribbled on not by your hand, but by others. Mac, Jenny, Mary-Beth, Lenny, even Arthur, had all at different points in time grabbed your book to leave little messages or doodles at moments where camp life was calm and uneventful. You often circled back to the page with Javier’s drawing of the hummingbird from back in Tumbleweed… In terms of personal items, you didn’t have much of such belongings back in camp, but this journal… it was simply irreplaceable. A gold mine of memories from back when they were written that only you could decipher behind the incoherent content. And now, harbouring your portrait, you only treasured it more.

You wandered a couple of steps ahead, turning on your heels to walk backwards, your fingers laced into each other behind your back as you faced him with a grin. Javier’s brow quirked. “How do you feel?”. The giddy feeling in your heart spread throughout your body, and your smile widened as your steps felt light and airy. 

“Like some sweet southern girl with her bigshot, oilman-daddy’s trust fund and not a care in the world”, you answered him humorously, while putting on that southern flair and sweet tone to your words once more. At that you grabbed a hold of your skirt to take a demonstrative twirl. Javier’s smile reached his eyes as he looked at you, snickering sweetly at your imitation of some young southern belle.

You let out a huff of air as your back came in contact with something firm. 

“Watch it-”. You swiftly turned to the dark voice, eyes widening when you recognised the man in front of you. And as it would seem, he recognised you too… “Looks like you just can’t help yourself from crashing into me today, huh, sweetheart ”, the man from the saloon’s bath said slyly, a smirk dominating his expression. 

You didn’t answer in an effort not to humour him, taking a step away, when he reached out to encase your wrist in his iron grasp. “Don’t you try-”

Javier, his expression stone cold, was just about to uppercut the guy, however he didn’t even make it one step before you stomped on the man’s foot. Your hard, wooden heel bore into his leather shoes and grinded at the bones within. He cried out in pain, and you took the small window where his grasp relaxed to yank your arm away. Taking a deep breath, you slapped him hard across the cheek, courtesy of the woman you had observed earlier that day. A red pulsing patch marked his pale skin and he quickly placed his hand atop it. 

“ You fucking bitch ”

You were already in motion, taking Javier’s hand in yours while pulling him after you. “Come on”. The man started limping after you, pained. Hearing his increasingly louder screams of profanity thrown after you, you only upped the pace. 

You were now sprinting down the busy sidewalk, trying not to hit any unsuspecting pedestrians. The more you ran, the more the uncontainable feeling of laughter started bubbling within your chest. You let out a couple of hiccups of laughter, and still being pulled behind you, Javier spoke your name in a question in between his breaths for air. 

Spotting an alleyway ahead to the left, you did a swift turn, slowing your pace as you led him deeper into the narrow path. You came to a full halt once you reached one of the many hidden courtyards of Saint Denis. There you let go of him, bringing your hand to your chest as you caught your breath. Javier did the same for a moment, looking around as if to be certain the man hadn’t followed. 

As your breath calmed, and your mind went back to process what just happened, a couple more spurts of laughter left your heaving chest, catching the attention of your lover. He spoke your name again, and you met his gaze. 

“Are you okay?”, he closed the distance separating you, eyes examining you carefully. You swallowed before calming your breath fully, nodding.

“I’m fine, Javier”. He reached out to capture your arm between both his hands, turning and inspecting your wrist for a moment. Not seeing any visible mark, he seemed to relax, bringing it up to his lips to gently press a short kiss against your delicate skin. “I mean it was unpleasant, but the look on his face-”, you tried to suppress the laughter once again threatening to leave. It was a mixed reaction Javier didn’t fully understand, however in your mind you couldn’t shake away the image of the man’s twisted expression, writhing in pain from your high heeled shoe, and the shock after you struck him. It was quite humorous, in a contorted kind of way. He was all bark and no bite. 

After eyeing you for a moment, Javier’s brows quirked as he too let out a chuckle, picturing what you were seeing in your mind as well. Shaking his head lightly, he closed in to press his lips against your forehead, catching your hat before it managed to fully tip off your head. 

“ Ay, tontita ”, Javier murmured lowly against your skin, a light puff of air from his nose hitting your forehead as he let out another short snicker. He then backed away just a little so he could look at your face properly. “I was going to say I could’ve handled it for you, but you handled yourself just fine, cariño ”, Javier spoke softly, lifting your chin with his index finger and leaned in to capture your lips in his. 

Light pressure turned heavier and more persistent as you let yourself get fully enraptured in him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him ever closer. His right arm wrapped itself around your waist to anchor you in place, the other one still with your hat in its clutch, rested against your right shoulder blade. 

Kiss deepening, your tongues danced that familiar, delectable dance. You sighed into his lips, fingers clawing at whatever part of him they could reach. 

You were both completely and utterly lost in eachother, the intoxicating and sheer addicting essence of the other blurring all other senses. If it wasn’t for a stranger’s gasp coming from across the courtyard, you’re not sure how you would’ve even been able to break away from him.

Eyes shooting open, you immediately turned your heads towards the sound. An older lady wearing her finest clothes, clutching her parasol with her silk-gloved hands, stared at the two of you with an aghast expression that turned offended as you met her gaze. “ C'est horrible. Épouvantable. Vous, les jeunes, n'avez-vous pas honte de vous prostituer en public? ”

You only stared at her as she scolded you. Quite frankly neither of you spoke a word french, so there wasn’t exactly much else you could do. “ Ce n'est pas une façon pour une femme de se comporter, mademoiselle” . She kept on saying, the appalled look on her face remaining strong. You glanced over at Javier, fighting a smile as he had the same kind of confused look as you. 

“Let’s go”, you whispered, and you didn’t have to ask him twice, Javier already leading you out of the courtyard with his hand on your lower back. From further behind you could hear the french woman letting up her persistent scolding. 

“Les Américains…” , she sighed, defeated, and safely hidden behind the walls of the narrow alley where you entered earlier, you giggled baffled.

“Christ”. You only had to share one look with Javier to know your thoughts were the same, and once again walking amongst the many citizens of Saint Denis you shook the encounter off to move on ahead. 

Javier carefully placed the hat back on your head, taking your arm in his again like earlier.

“So what now?”, you asked him, noting how the sun had lowered considerably from its high position in the sky when you first got here. “Is it time for the river boat?”.

“Not just yet, there’s one more place I want to take you…”

~

“Now I’ve seen everything, dancing with fire ?”, you spoke in sheer fascination on your way towards the harbour from the Vaudeville show at Théâtre Râleur. 

“I was sure she’d accidentally set her hair on fire”, Javier professed and you swiftly agreed, shaking your head lightly with an awe-struck smile

“And that lady, she sang wonderfully, I haven’t heard live music like that in quite some time”. As you neared the docks, your heels making a deep clicking noise atop the wooden boards, you slowed your pace just a little. The sun was almost setting, and Javier had to be on his way soon. “Thank you for today”. Javier paused at your words, looking at you with a sweet smile.

Grabbing a hold he raised your hands up to his lips, kissing at the knuckles of both of them. “I should be thanking you for coming with me”, he winked smoothly, and you rolled your eyes softly. Of course you’d come, you’d go anywhere he asked you to go in a heartbeat. He let his hands fall, motioning with his head for you to follow, and as you resumed your walk, you could spot the riverboat just down the way from you. “You sure you’ll make it back to camp okay?”, Javier asked you, to which you promptly assured him you would. Shady Belle wasn’t all that far from this part of town anyway.

“ There he is”, Trelawny announced as they spotted the two of you closing in, and you bit at the inside of your lip as you realised both him and Arthur were already there, which meant they had been waiting…

“Where were you?”, Arthur asked him, and based on his expression you could tell he was a little irked by the delay.

“Sorry, she helped me with some preparations and we decided to check out the theatre”, Javier excused himself smoothly, pulling out a cigarette from the pack in his pocket, leaning against some stacked crates next to him. 

“Oh, the, uh, Vaudeville show?”. He butchered the pronunciation, but you paid no mind to it as the fact that he knew the show piqued your interest. 

“Yes, you seen it?”

“Yeah, with Mary”, he hesitantly answered, and your brows shot upwards at that disclosure.

“You saw Mary again?”. Arthur nodded, clearing his throat as he held out his hand towards Javier, who reluctantly gave him the cigarette after eyeing his fingers for a prolonged moment. “Well, how is she?”

“Good… she’s well”, he shrugged to himself, however you didn’t let your seeking gaze falter as he brought the cigarette to his lips.

Everyone in camp knew about Mary, if not from actually meeting her while they were still together, then from hearing about her after the fact. Opinions were split about their liking for her and Arthur’s pairing, but you always figured it was a result of the way things ended between them rather than a judgement of her actual character. 

From the little things Arthur has told you himself, she seemed like a lovely woman, and you reckoned it was all simply down to everything around them being too complicated. Arthur always downplayed his hurt whenever the theme was brought up but he never was able to hide just how much care and affection he still carries for her. 

“Tho, not much has changed”, he eventually added, eyes on the wooden floor. You just hoped their reunion didn’t reopen closed wounds… Tilly and Mary-Beth have both certainly not been shy in expressing their scepticism for her intentions. Arthur is a selfless man in the context of caring for loved ones, no matter how much he tries to deny it. He’s always out doing everything for everyone else in camp, oftentimes with barely anything in return. Arthur has admitted many a-times how much Dutch and all of you mean to him, and it didn’t take you many weeks being a part of this gang to see that he’d do just about anything to protect what you have. It’s not a life he could make himself leave behind at this point, and so this rekindling of his old flame both excited you as much as it worried you for him. False hope and doomed love could be a dangerous thing.

“I see…”, you spoke softly, not wanting to press the matter further. This wasn’t exactly the time and place for it anyway.

“Now, I think after all that, gentlemen, champagne is on dear old Arthur”, Trelawny said theatrically, loud enough for the guards and hosts waiting by the gangplank of the ship to hear. Arthur rolled his eyes and flicked the remaining piece of the cigarette into the water. “He’s rich as can be and feeling luckier than a turkey that survived thanksgiving!”. 

Collectively, you made your way down the dock. “Hello gentlemen”, the guard posted on the pier greeted the men, nodding curtly as each of them passed him to walk onboard. You paused, watching them step off the gangplank and safely plant their feet on the boat. “Miss”. You hadn’t noticed the guard holding out his arm to you, offering his hand to help you up the plank.

“Oh, no I only came to uh, remind my grandfather not to gamble away the entire family fortune tonight”, you swiftly made up your excuse, motioning over to Herr Strauss now eyeing you perplexed. The other men subtly held back a laugh, glancing over at the man who was certainly older, however not quite grandfather age yet, as he constantly seemed to have to remind the rest of you.

“Grandfather?!”, he blurted out baffled, before he could catch himself, and the guard looked between the two of you with obvious confusion and a slight hint of suspicion.

“Oh, stop that, we’ve talked about this”, you quickly pretended to scold Herr Strauss, turning back to the young man in the light blue and white thin-striped uniform, adding in a slightly more hushed tone, “He still don’t like me calling him that. I was adopted you see, and he’s still bitter that my parents didn’t ‘continue the bloodline properly’ ”. You rolled your eyes subtly. The creases between the man’s cautious eyes smoothed out at your apparently satisfactory explanation.

“Oh.. oh , yes I see”, his eyes quickly peeked over to Herr Strauss, making internal judgments of his newly acquired information on his character no doubt. You ‘dropped’ your satchel that was hanging off of one shoulder, the strap sliding right down your arm. 

“Oh dear, I-”, you began reaching for it, however the man held out his arm to stop you.

“Don’t worry, miss, let me get it for you”, the man immediately crouched down to pick it up for you, and you flashed him your most charming smile.

“Thank you sir, now you wouldn’t happen to know where I can get a carriage? It’s my first time in this city and it’s quite daunting. I’m as lost as a needle in a haystack”. The guard snickered politely at your comment.

“Certainly, miss, follow me”, he motioned the way with his arm.

“You boys keep an eye on him for me then”, you said to the rest as they gave you knowing looks in return. In your mind’s eye, the ‘him’ you were referring to was not Strauss, but indeed the raven haired man now giving you a subtle wave with his hand resting down by his hip.

“Of course!”, Trelawny gave you a slight bow, turning around. You just about caught him lowly speak to the hazel-brown haired man next to him, “You could learn a thing or two from her performance there, Arthur”

“Shut up”

You stayed close to the guard as he guided you back across the dock. The art of conmanship and performance… It’s not something you tend to resort to a lot, as your methods of robbery are pretty straightforward. However, you still take mental notes whenever Hosea pulls you aside to give you a lecture or two about the importance of a good act, and how detrimental it could be in defusing a situation, either while or before it has even escalated. 

The guard offered you his hand once more, assisting you up a small level change in the floorboards. You had reached the cobblestone road now, the noise from the busy street ever loud.

“I shouldn’t move too far from the ferry, but the carriages are straight down that road, you won’t miss them”, he pointed down the street towards the trolley bus station. 

“Thank you so much for your help sir”

“No problem at all, miss. You have a splendid day”, he grabbed the brim of his hat and gave you a bow of his head. After returning the sentiment, you went on your way.

The sunset illuminated the city in orange hues. As you neared the station you saw the carriage, available and ready for departure. Closing in now, you continued on right past it. You had contemplated finding Boaz still hitched somewhere in the city, however concluded that Javier might need him later on, especially if the whole job ended in a chase. And now once you actually saw the carriage, you decided to rather stay on your feet. A rented carriage would be a waste of money on such a short distance, not to mention unwise to give a stranger any sort of notion as to where you were located.

Your heels clacked on atop the cobblestone, reminding you of the sound of a horse walking with horseshoes. The satchel was now safely hanging across your body rather than off one shoulder, and with determined steps you were nearing the bridge at the edge of town. People passing by seemed too busy to notice you, and that served you just fine. Though, after a long day on your feet, the brand new heeled shoes were starting to gnaw at your feet a little more noticeably now..

“Need a ride, miss?”. You turned to see a man decked out in a nice casual cotton suit, halting his horse as he looked down to you. He must’ve taken notice of your increasing discomfort through your walk.

“If you don’t mind”, you answered him earnestly, and he extended his arm.

“Not at all”. You let him help you up the back of his horse. “Where to?”

“Do you know Calliga Hall?”

“Sure”

“Could you take me to one of the southwestern field entrances? I’m a distant cousin. I’ve come to visit after the fire”, you lied effortlessly, placing your hands on his sides to steady yourself as he kicked his horse into a trot.

“Ah, yes I heard. Such a shame”

“Isn't it, I don’t understand who’d do such a thing”. After a moment, your eyes dropped downwards, before you turned your head carefully to eye the saddlebag on the opposite side of where your legs were, the flap undone and fluttering up and down in rhythm to his horse moving. “Now, what brings you to Saint Denis, mister?”, you asked him, leaning your face closer to his shoulder, and as he felt your chin against it, he turned his head just enough to eye you from the corner of his eye. 

“I’m only passing through for some important clients, my usual place of work is in Blackwater. I, uh, I’m an entrepreneur ”, he answered you, straightening up just a little.

“An entrepreneur, huh? A fine man such as yourself, I should’ve known”, you said sweetly, and the man swiftly glanced at you through the corner of his eyes once more. Removing one hand carefully you started lightly moving the fingers of your other hand that was still on him. “What’s your business?”. He swallowed thickly, feeling your nimble fingers just ever so slightly caress at his waist, before clearing his throat.

“Polisher, miss”. As he explained his trade further, you reached for the saddlebag, keeping your chin and attentive gaze right where they were, honey-eyes ready to meet him anytime he dared let himself glance your way.

You placed whatever you could reach in your satchel. By the feel of it, he had several jewellery boxes in there, most likely some rich clientele’s accessories who had enough other pieces like that to last a lifetime. Not testing your luck too much you deemed your catch enough, retracting your hand from the bag to place it back on his waist.

“That’s awfully interesting”, you spoke in feigned enthusiasm, and the man looked rather gratified. 

“I suppose it is”, he said content. “Name is Frank Caldwell”, he then introduced himself properly, clearly waiting for you to tell him your name.

“Bessie Mayfield”, you quickly answered, Hosea’s late wife for whatever reason popping into your mind. 

“A pleasure, miss Mayfield”. You were nearing the southern fencing of the Calliga Hall property. Frank seemed to notice right when you did, his demeanour turning slightly sunken. “Is this the place, miss? I could take you all the way to the estate, wherever you need me to”, he fumbled for a reason to keep you there. 

“Right here is quite alright, mister Caldwell”, you responded, the cadence of your voice soft and reassuring. “They won’t take too kindly to seeing strangers past their property lines right now, you see”, you further excused, to which he nodded in understanding. Frank assisted you down while remaining in his saddle, however as you were about to step away, he tightened his grasp on your hand still in his.

“It’s been quite a pleasure coming across you today, Miss Mayfield, you don’t think perhaps I could, or I mean, we could… meet up for dinner?”. You cocked your head slightly, and upon noting your quirked brows he followed up his initial invitation with swift nervousness. “Cause, well, I think it’s a shame not to continue our conversation, is all”. Your expression softened as you looked up at him. 

“I quite agree, but I’m only here for a short time before I travel back to my New York estate”. Frank looked visibly disheartened.

“New York, huh…”. Reluctantly he let go of your hand. “That’s quite a way away. A shame”, he then weakly nodded a few times, straightening himself up as if to shake away his disappointment. “Safe travels, miss”.

“Goodbye Frank”, you waved as he left you behind on the dirt road. Once he was just a small outline of a shape in the distance and you were certain he couldn’t see you walk the opposite way of where you told him you were going, you turned on your heels, heading straight for the swampy road leading towards camp. 

As you trudged on your way past the thick greenery of the twisted roads, the noises from the loitering alligators and the million crickets chirping protruding from the bayou, you inspected some of the velvety boxes now filling up your little satchel. 

Your eyes widened upon observing the intricate details of various expensive looking metals and pearls. In the pit of your stomach a feeling of slight guilt churned upon thinking about what kind of trouble this would cause poor, unsuspecting Frank. However, he seemed to be doing more than well enough for himself, you told yourself in an attempt to self-soothe. And so you shook away the feeling as quick as it had appeared. 

By the time you reached the entrance gate of camp, Lenny was already well into his guard shift. He quirked his brow upon noting your fancy attire. “Well look at you”, he said, and you smirked at him.

“What, you must’ve forgotten that I clean up quite nicely”, you said in a slight tease and a motion of your hand over your outfit, and as he jokingly whistled, you huffed and gave him a light yet firm shove by the shoulder, to which he laughed, “Shut up, you silly fool”. Lenny raised his hands in feign surrender. 

“Where were you all day?”, he then asked you, and you wished to immediately recount the day’s events to him, however as your feet ached and your stomach begged for some supper, you glanced over towards the campfire further down the trail towards the plantation house. 

“Oh I was all over the city”, you turned your head to face him again. “Come find me when you’re off duty, and I’ll tell you all about it”, you smiled, which he mirrored.

“Sure thing, go get some rest”

Passing by the familiar scene, reentering your small, safe bubble within the camp, you found Javier’s tent. You knelt down to fish out his little lockbox, first placing a case containing a nice pocket watch that you picked up from your random encounter inside it, before searching through your satchel for his portrait. As your fingers clutched a gentle hold of the fragile photograph, you took time to really look at it once more. A smile almost instantly took a hold of your lips, your thumb very gently running across the glossy surface where Javier’s face looked upon the camera.

“My, my, why isn’t that an extravagant ensemble”, you heard Karen point out from behind you, her tone a mix of excitement and wit. With a grin you turned your head to see her accompanied by Tilly and Mary-Beth, who looked just as eager for you to come over and show them your new attire. Facing back towards the lockbox, you carefully placed the portrait in it before closing the lid and sliding it back where you found it.

You got up to your feet, promptly making your way over to your enthusiastically awaiting friends.

Chapter Text

Your knife sliced through the carrots with crisp cuts. Pearson usually prepares his ingredients by himself, however today he had been complaining about being overworked in this swampy climate, going on about being the only one doing something around camp as of late. And so after some coercion, you and Abigail rolled up your sleeves to give him a hand. 

You didn’t mind it much, except for his constant high pitched whistling the past hour while he prepped the meat. 

“You know, John asked for Jack and I to stay with him”, Abigail told you lowly, however her tone was laced with subtle excitement. And if you hadn’t picked it up on her tone you would’ve seen it on her face as you glanced over at her cutting up the potatoes across from you on the little side table. You smiled genuinely, switching between minding your cutting and looking at her.

“I noticed you all staying in his room since Jack returned… How’s it going?”

“Oh, I suppose… well? I mean he’s, he’s different. Even keeps an eye on the boy-”, with her knife she subtly pointed over at Jack sitting by one of the wagons. “-from time to time”. You could tell she was hesitant to speak prematurely. Most had noticed a shift in John’s overall attitude since Jack disappeared, that much was undeniable. Poor woman just didn’t want to let herself be disappointed once again if this change didn’t stick. You gave her a supportive look.

“That’s great, Abigail”

“About time, I’d say”, she retorted cleverly, changing the tone of the conversation, and you huffed a laugh through your nose, a smirk settling on your lips.

“Ain’t that the truth”

“Mister Pearson!”, Mary-Beth walked up to him with hurried steps. “Have you seen Kieran anywhere?”

“No, my child, not today”. Pearson barely looked up from the pot he was mixing. “I’ve spent the day working, I haven’t seen anyone but these lovely ladies helping me out”. Mary-Beth eyed him for just a moment before sighing defeated.

“Okay…”, she turned to leave, but Pearson stopped her as he spoke up again.

“I remember, long time ago, we lost this feller at sea… bad business, I think a shark took him”

“You think a shark came and ate Kieran?”, Mary-Beth asked in a mix of worry and perplexion. At this you and Abigail finally turned to her, giving Pearson a look. The camp cook let out a careful laugh, realising his poor timing.

“No, no! No, it wasn’t directly relevant. I was just making conversation…”

“What do you girls think?”, she then asked the two of you cutting the vegetables. 

“ I think there’s no sharks for miles around here, he’d be more likely to come across an alligator”, Abigail said matter-of-factly as she sliced yet another potato.

“So an alligator then”, Mary-Beth’s tone stayed troubled. You nudged Abigail firmly. So much for not giving the girl ideas.

“No, hun, I just meant you shouldn't worry about no animal eating him, unless he went swimming in that dirty swamp, which I highly doubt”. Mary-Beth eased slightly, though you could see the anxious thoughts still held a firm grasp on her. There might not have been any animals feasting on him, but the poor man had been gone quite a while. Putting your knife down you walked over to her, grabbing both of her hands.

“I’m sure he’s okay. You know people around here have started growing used to him… maybe he’s just out enjoying the leash being loosened a little”, you guessed with a shrug. 

“Yeah… Yeah maybe you’re right”, Mary-Beth thought out loud, pursing her lips slightly. 

“I’ll tell you what, if he’s not back by tonight I’ll help you gather some folks who’ll be willing to have a little look for him”, you sought out her gaze, finally meeting it.

She gave your hands a little squeeze, a weak smile on her face. “Okay then”.

As she walked away, you went back to the cutting board, ignoring the way Abigail was looking at you. “Where would they even go to look for him, he ain’t been seen for two days. Does anyone even know what kind of place he’d go to outside of camp?”.

“I don’t know, but everyone leaves traces… He likes fishing, don’t he? Maybe he’s by a creek somewhere?”, you pulled out of thin air. Abigail only looked down, mumbling a ‘maybe’ as the three of you silently finished up prepping the rest of the ingredients.

~

The sun had been beating down on you all day, and you seeked refuge under the shade of the front porch as soon as you were done helping Pearson. You had taken the time to catch up on some supply work, sharpening your hunting knife as well as prepping a handful of arrows. You preferred to replace and adjust the fletchings at the end yourself to make them more stabilised, the way your uncle had taught you all those years ago. At some point Sadie had taken notice of you, joining you in the chair next to you to borrow your sharpening stone as she too prepped her knife, all while you kept up idle conversation.

“How you doing, Mrs. Adler?”, Arthur asked her as he almost passed you, turning away from the door he was about to open to rather lean against the pillar facing you. 

“I’ve been well, I guess”, she lowered her knife. “Been quite a journey since I… well since I joined you fellers”.

“Yeah”, Arthur agreed, lifting his hat just a little to wipe at his glistening hairline. A smart expression overtook Sadie’s face as she leaned slightly towards him.

“And now you and Dutch have joined high society? My lord above”, she shook her head lightly and Arthur sighed deeply at the reminder as you let out a soft snicker at the thought. Sure he could clean up nicely, but Arthur willingly spending any more time with the so called ‘elites of society’ than he had to was a ridiculous concept when you know how he is.

“Yeah, seems so”

“I think my days in polite society are over”, Sadie then professed, examining the sharp blade in her hand. 

“Well…”, Arthur leaned closer towards you. “I just saw Bill Williamson at a party at the Saint Denis’ mayor’s house-”. You and Sadie both chuckled. Now that was a real funny mental image you wished you could’ve seen with your own eyes. “-If he can do it, anyone can”

“Well, how was it then?”, you asked him eagerly, putting the arrow you were altering down on the ground by your feet. Considering you had spent the entire previous day in the city, you were yet to hear of any stories from their time at the party. 

“You fellers get any leads?”, Sadie followed your question just as eager. 

“Yeah, I think so-”

“You know so, Arthur Morgan”, Dutch interrupted him as he walked up to the door, patting his shoulder as he paused next to him. “Come on, we need to talk”. He then looked to you with a curt bow of his head. “Will you ladies excuse us?”.

You only smiled as you looked back at your feet, reaching down for a new arrow to prep. Sadie, however, turned in her chair to face Dutch and Arthur now halfway through the door. “When you gonna let me come robbing with you, Dutch?”, she insisted, and Dutch eyed her in slight surprise at her forwardness.

“My Lord, a few more like her, we could take over the world”. He disappeared through the door.

“Few more like her and there wouldn’t be much of a world left”, Arthur said after him, closing the door behind him as he followed Dutch inside.

Sadie scoffed in modest disappointment, redirecting her attention back at her knife.

The following minutes resumed in silence, before Sadie turned to you. “How long did it take before he let you join?”. You paused your binding, meeting her gaze. 

“Oh, well it took a little bit of time before he let me take part in the bigger stuff. Wanted to make sure I had what it took. It’s for our own safety, he says”. Sadie rolled her eyes at your last addition to your answer. You smirked at her reaction, looking back at your working hands. She reminded you a little of yourself during the first few months after you joined; so ready and willing to go with, yet held back by the lack of opportunities to prove yourself. “I think Javier and Mac vouching for me sped it along a bit. Still don’t take part in everything , but you win some you lose some”, you added with a shrug, and Sadie idly ran her finger against the metal of her knife as she chewed on your words. 

“Guess I need someone to vouch for me then”

“Well I haven’t exactly seen you in ‘action’ just yet, but from what Arthur’s been saying I’d back you up”, you offered your vote certain. Sadie smiled at you, nodding slowly to herself as her head shifted towards the sharpening tool rubbing against her knife’s edge once more. 

A horrific shriek from across the lot startled you and tensed your muscles so instantly that the wooden shaft of the arrow snapped between your previously gentle fingers. Immediately you got up from your seat to seek out the source of the scream, however next to the pillar you remained frozen with your mouth agape and a permanent crease between your brows  at the sight you were met with. 

“ Dear Lord ”, you just about registered coming from Sadie now stood beside you. 

“It’s Kieran!”, Mary-Beth cried out from the gazebo. 

An unfamiliar brown horse slumped into the camp grounds with slow steps, carrying a decapitated body tied with rope in all manner of places to keep it in a seated position in the saddle. In the tied hands, Kieran’s head rested, gaping holes where his cautious, blue eyes once were. The white shirt was stained bloody red down the front.

It was indeed not an animal that had gotten to him, but something far worse …

You barely managed to tear your gaze away from him to scan the treeline when the shooting started. 

O’Driscolls…

“Everybody, take cover! O’Driscoll’s boys are coming!”, Dutch yelled out his command for all to hear, his voice breaking from the strain. Sadie ran for the pillar on the other side of the opening of the porch while you pressed yourself flush behind the wooden pillar you already had your hand resting against. 

Instinctively you reached for your hip, only to be met with nothing but the fabric of your skirt. You internally cursed yourself for not wearing your gun belt already. It was stashed under the couch you sleep on, where it usually stays whenever you haven’t planned on leaving the camp for the day. “Shit!”.

As shots rang out, bullets piercing through the house and everything in between, you took a deep breath, crouching down to reach for your bow and arrows slumped on the ground by the chair. With the bow firm in hand, you peeked towards where you had last seen Mary-Beth. She was using the wooden foundation of the gazebo as a shield, unable to make a run for the house as two O’Driscolls found cover behind the fencing on the other side of the ditch across from her. 

“Women and children, inside! The rest of you, hold your ground!”, Dutch barked out his next order. If only you could take out at least one of them she could make a run for it. Grabbing an arrow and drawing the string tight, you took your aim from halfway behind the pillar. You held the position as steady as you could, until finally, the man came out of his hiding. After readjusting your aim, you released your fingers in an instant, and the arrow went flying, hitting him by the collarbone.

“Go!”, you yelled at Mary-Beth when Arthur or Dutch shot the other remaining man in the head from the balcony upstairs. 

You ditched the bow to hurriedly run inside, not stopping until you knelt down by the sofa, clasping your gun belt securely around your hips. “What’s happening?”, Molly asked panicked by the back entrance. 

Pearson ran inside, closing it after him. “O’Driscolls”

“Hold in there, and get away from the windows!”, Arthur told them as he ran downstairs, headed for the main door with a rifle in hand. 

“Get upstairs, It’s safer up there! You too Pearson”, Hosea waved them away, herding them towards the stairs. You did a headcount from the archway between the stairway’s corridor and the living room as everyone sprinted past you. You couldn’t spot either Sadie or Karen anywhere amongst the crowd fleeing from the walls of the house being peppered in holes. You grabbed Hosea’s arm. 

“Where’s Karen?”

“I don’t know, I think I saw her upstairs earlier”

“And Sadie?”. Hosea looked around you, expression still unsure.

“Wasn’t she with you?”. You remained silent. Sadie had disappeared the second the shooting started. Hopefully she went straight to a safe room. Swiftly you let go of him, running up the many steps. 

You looked around yourself as you reached the top. Most of them had grouped themselves in the tiny hallway between John and Dutch’s room as it was the furthest away from any exterior walls. “Karen is outside on the balcony!”, Tilly informed you gravely from down on the floor, pointing the way. With furrowed brows and your pistol cocked and ready you made your way to the back door of the second floor, crouching down to find a spot next to the blonde still firing shots from behind the bannisters. 

“Karen, you need to get inside!”, you urged her, however she stayed put.

“These assholes need to leave us alone!”, she spat, firing at some men rowing in from the water now. 

“Christ”, you muttered upon seeing at least three small boats coming in, moving over to get a better shot. You managed to hit four of them, and Karen a few others, by the time Arthur and Sadie came running out from behind the old stable, skillfully taking out the remainders of the O’Driscolls docking in from the back. 

“They’ve got it from here, now come on!”, you urged Karen once more, this time pulling her in with you by her upper arm. After a while of keeping your pistol aimed at the top of the stairs while the protruding sound of the bullets hitting the wooden walls continued, the persistent noise eventually quieted down until everything went completely silent.

“Is it over?”, Reverend Swanson asked quietly from further inside the hallway. You waited just a moment more before slowly getting up on your feet, closely followed by Hosea, calmly stepping down the creaking steps of the old stairs to sneak a peek at the bottom floor. Hearing Dutch speak in the distance you deemed it to be safe.

“It's clear”, you called up to the others, who all relieved got up from their huddle in the corridor.  

You exited through the front. “We okay?”, Hosea asked Dutch cautiously from the doorway.

“I think so… except for Kieran here. Poor kid”. Dutch took a spot beside Kieran’s body and head now splayed across the ground, the brown horse from earlier long gone. You scanned the people gathered by the fountain, not finding the person you were anxiously looking for.

Placing your pistol back in your holster, you promptly started moving again, making your way towards the wagons on the southwestern side of the estate. “Mister Swanson, would you take the boy and bury him?”, you heard Dutch ask from behind you now, however you blocked them out as you kept on going. You passed both Micah and Bill without sparing them a second glance, both trudging towards where everyone else seemed to gather at the front.

Breathing quickly through your increasingly heightening nerves you let your eyes wander across the thin treeline directly behind the tents and wagons. You refused to blink until your attentive eyes spotted something blue and red amidst the greenery. Relieved, you relaxed your tensed muscles, jogging over to Javier who was standing with his guns still at the ready. He scouted after some O’Driscolls running away, already far across the field separating this side of the estate from the thick forest to the west. 

Right as you closed in on him, Javier holstered his pistols, taking a step backwards while his eyes stayed on their running forms. Preoccupied with the fleeing men, he got notably startled when you crashed into him, your arms wrapping around his torso as you buried your face into his chest. Earlier, when you finally caught a moment to think while standing guard at the top of the stairs, the fact that you hadn’t spotted him even once since the shootout started, worried you almost to the point of nausea. “You’re alright”, you murmured against him, finally able to let go of that last bit of unease that had claimed your mind and body as you felt him breathe in your embrace. 

Getting over his initial shock, his tense arms relaxed and his expression softened upon looking at the way you clung to him.

He wrapped one arm protectively across your upper back, while his other hand rested against the back of your head. Javier leaned forward to place a soft kiss atop your head, prompting you to straighten yourself up just enough to where you could meet his gaze. 

“So are you”, he answered relieved, moving his hand from the back of your head to let his knuckles softly caress your cheek. Nodding gently as you peered into his eyes, you moved forward to meet his lips for a lingering moment. His knuckles straightened out to cup your cheek while he returned the kiss. As you retracted your head none of you had to say a word to know what the other was thinking. Simultaneously you let go of eachother, instantly longing for his touch once more. Alas, there was work to be done, as you weren’t deaf to the sound of Miss Grimshaw and Pearson barking orders for everyone to help clean the place up in the far distance.

Javier stepped away from you to hook his arms under those of some dead O’Driscoll by the closest wagon, pausing as you followed his lead to grab the same body at the knees. He gave you a look as if to tell you you didn’t need to help with that particular task, but you only rolled your eyes. “Just start lifting, Escuella”, you prompted him steadfastly, to which he let out a little huff of a laugh. 

“Fine, cálmate, jefa ”, he said smartly yet strained as he hoisted the corpse up by the arms, and you lifted it just the same from your end.

~

The following day was a busy one for Lenny as he joined Arthur and Dutch in town to carry out that Trolley station tip Dutch had gotten from Bronte. The atmosphere back in camp was rather dim considering the things you witnessed the day before, and Mary-Beth spent most of her time staring at the ground with a permanent forlorn look on her face.

You brought her a bowl of stew around late afternoon that she still hadn’t taken as much as a spoonful out of. Instead she let her head fall so she could rest her cheek on your shoulder, and quietly you wrapped your arm around her, placing yours on the top of her head. She hadn’t said much all day, and no one pushed her to. It’s not like there was much for the rest of you to say either, Kieran’s gruesome end rattling you all.

The next day Mary-Beth seemed a bit more present. Her plain sorrow was replaced with moments of bitterness and frustration, almost matching the same sentiments plaguing Dutch following the utter setup the Trolley Station tip turned out to be. The three of them had barely made it out of the city unscathed, the chase leaving Dutch with a nasty hit to the head that he was recovering from under strict orders from Susan. 

You were roaming about the estate alongside Mary-Beth when she spotted Arthur talking with Javier by the fountain. Immediately she made a beeline for the pair and you hurried on after her to keep up. “This has all gotten a little crazy”, Arthur grumbled.

“We need to find where those O’Driscolls are hiding and hit ‘em back!”, Javier urged him, expression bearing traces of disgust as he mentioned the rivalling gang. Arthur took a deep breath, thinking a moment before sighing.

“I don’t know… I ain’t sure that’s the right move”.

“Oh, Arthur”. They both turned towards you upon hearing Mary-Beth call, watching the two of you close in. “I can’t believe those pigs did that to him”. Her voice was airy, filled with emotion. 

“To Kieran?”, Arthur asked hesitantly, his voice low.

“He was such a gentle soul”, Mary-Beth poured from her heart, and you reached out to place your hand on her back as her tender voice sent a small ache to your chest.

“He saved my life one time… I’ll miss him”, Arthur then professed, tone still low as his expression wore one of regret. 

“You make the bastards pay, Arthur”, she then told him firmly after taking in his words, eyes stinging with a buildup of salty tears, her voice fierce.

“If we get the chance to, we surely shall”, he agreed, and at that Mary-Beth trudged off towards the house, picking up her book that she had left outside on the chair to read in solitude. You all watched her leave with saddened faces. You crossed your arms at your waist, lifting one of them to rest the pads of your fingers against the corner of your lips. 

“I don’t know what to do”, you told them earnestly, gaze still on the doors she had just walked through. When Sean died, you were in the same predicament with Karen, though she reacted quite differently. She wouldn’t let her feelings show too much externally, at least if she could help it, picking up the bottle one too many times within the hours of the day, rendering herself completely numb. Still did too, and honestly it had only gotten worse since then. You rarely saw her without one now, and it seemed there was nothing you, the girls, or anyone could say that would get through to her. That, however, did not mean you had given up trying. Arthur sighed thoughtfully, prompting you to turn to him.

“She’ll be alright… with time ”, he assured you.

“We should’ve looked for him… poor Kieran”

“We should’ve”, Arthur sighed once more, before shrugging. “But we didn’t…”.

He was about to walk off after a quiet moment where you all contemplated his words, when you stopped him.

“Hey, you spoken to Dutch yet?”. Arthur paused, looking up to the second floor of the house before meeting your eyes again.

“Not yet, why?”

“Miss Grimshaw asked me to bring him some breakfast this morning and, well, as I walked to his door I kept hearing him mumble something about Bronte. I thought maybe Hosea was in there with him but he was alone… He just seems pretty… upset ”, you told him for lack of a better word. 

“Well I would be too if Bronte played me like a fiddle… and a foolish fiddle at that”, Arthur answered you with a gesture of his arm.

“I know that”, you sighed. “Just a little worried with everything happening is all”. Arthur’s expression softened at that.

“I’ll.. I’ll check up on him”, he assured you before walking away, and you turned to Javier who had been silently watching you.

“Listen to Arthur, everything will be fine, cariño ”, he took a step towards your anxious form. You glanced at him, eventually nodding though inside your head, your thoughts were running all over the place. It seemed like anyone was able to find you so easily these days; first the Pinkertons, then the O’Driscolls… Was there truly anywhere you could be safe? You so sorely longed for the safety of everyone here, was there even a way to ensure it at this point?

Javier’s fingers wrapping themselves around the wrist of your arm that was still propped against your face pulled you out of your own head, and your eyes finally looked at him with presence, as he placed a peck on top of your hand. “Let’s find something else to occupy your mind with, eh hermosa ?”, he offered you an amiable smile while backing away, pulling you along slowly without waiting for an answer. He could tell you were in need of a distraction, and he was sure to give you whatever you needed in any way he could. After conflicted thoughts battled each other inside your mind, you finally forced yourself to let go of your worries for now, following Javier to the campfire, grateful for an escape.

Javier sat you down on his bedroll, reaching for his guitar to place it in your lap. Knowing you, he was certain it would demand all of your attention, leaving no room for uncertainty or concern. He chuckled through your half-hearted protests, insisting that you should give it another go, saying it had been ages since your last ‘lesson’ afterall. Eventually, with a bashful smile, you gave in, allowing him to teach and guide you through a song of your choosing. 

After going at it for the rest of the afternoon, your execution of the song still wasn’t perfect, but it surely had done its job of keeping you distracted. Though Javier in and of himself had been a distraction to your distraction. You found you could hardly focus solely on the guitar when he sat so close, giving you that charming look of his, or cleverly let little comments slip here and there that would make you giggle. 

As Pearson called out for dinner, Lenny and Hosea took a seat by the fire, bowls of steaming hot vegetable soup clutched in their hands. Before you even had the chance to put the guitar back in its place, Javier claimed their attention, asking them if they would like a little performance from you. Much to your dismay, but not at all surprising, they both eagerly urged you on. 

Swallowing your pride, you reluctantly gave in, playing them the song with some notable mistakes, and at a much slower pace than what they were used to hearing from Javier. Brows furrowed, you focused hard on your hands. Hosea and Lenny alongside Javier, still seated next to you, listened keenly, thoroughly entertained by your attempt, as well as the small, sharp curses you would let out under your breath whenever you’d pluck at the wrong string or a finger slipped out of place. Despite it all, you received quite the generous cheers as you played the last note. 

“With a bit more practice, we could all start over as a travelling band of musicians, instead of a travelling gang of outlaws”, Hosea joked between spoonfuls of soup, and you chuckled as you handed the guitar over to Javier, whose smile oozed of pride as he met your gaze. As Javier placed the guitar against the barrel next to his tent, he turned to the men by the fire.

“So long as Bill doesn’t sing”, he joked along, eliciting laughs from the rest of you. A chuckling Lenny took another spoonful to his mouth, swallowing the soup before clearing his throat.

“Or Swanson”, he added, pointing the spoon at Javier, prompting another round of laughter. Javier got up to his feet, stopping you from following his lead as he told you he’d get you a bowl as well. 

Offering him a thankful smile, you moved to sit properly around the fire with Lenny and Hosea, taking a seat on the chair closest to the tent you just sat under. 

“So, how you feeling?”, Lenny asked Hosea.

“Okay… been better”, the older man shrugged before taking another spoonful. As if right on cue, a couple of wheezing coughs left his mouth. You and Lenny both gave each other worried glances from across the fire before returning your gazes to Hosea. “How are you?”, he then asked, shifting the focus away from himself.

“Fine”, Lenny also shrugged, staring into his almost empty bowl with a look revealing something was indeed on his mind. He could sense both yours and Hosea’s inspecting looks, removing his eyes from the metal dish to look up at you, followed by Hosea. “Hey, do you guys think… do you worry…”, he seemed to struggle putting his thoughts into words, leaning in just a little closer to the both of you as if to make sure he wasn’t heard by just anyone potentially walking behind him. “Do you worry that maybe we’ve lost our way?”. Hosea eyed him for a moment.

“How do you mean?”. Before Lenny could elaborate, Hosea held up his hand to stop him. “Actually, I won’t pretend ignorance, I know just what you mean”. You and Lenny both gave him your rapt attention. He sighed as he pondered his answer internally, finally speaking, “But I don't know… things seem bad”, Hosea said sincerely. “The world is changing, and… I’m not making much sense am I?”, he then sighed once more, with a weak smile as he eyed the pair of you. However, his words resonated with you perfectly. You’ve all come so far from where you started, the selfless philosophy and gang mentality all but changed along with time to match your need for survival, the world around you changing just the same, if not more rapidly. And it felt like whatever you’ve done as of late has only dug you deeper and deeper into a hole you couldn’t climb out of.

Lenny huffed a short laugh, before turning more serious, “No… but somehow you’ve summarised just how I feel. It seems awful, and then it seems the same as always”, he looked between you and Hosea as he earnestly continued, “-and then it seems like there’s just no other way, and I-I… I just-”

“Listen”, Hosea interrupted him calmly. “We’ve gotten out of worse situations than this. Done plenty of bad things we’ve all forgotten about”.

“Sure, but if this is how we’re feeling, then when do we stop? How do we stop before it gets outta hand? Before we’re beyond saving”, you spoke up finally. 

“My dear, don’t take Dutch’s patter about redemption too seriously”, he covertly looked behind himself as if to look for the man in question. “We’re doomed. Just like every other creature on this rock, but unlike them, we’ll go down fighting”.

There was a moment of contemplation between you all, Lenny shifted his gaze from Hosea to the scraps still left in his bowl, then back to the old man. “Is that what you believe?”

“I don’t know son, I don't know what I believe… Apart from wishing I wasn’t going to find out sooner than I’d like”. Hosea sighed yet again as he leaned back in his seat a little. You and Lenny were both a little stumped by his final profession, not quite sure what to say. 

He watched your discouraged looks, his expression softening as he took a breath. “You know, for twenty years now, life… well life has made sense. We know it’s cruel. It isn’t my fault, all the unkindness and misery in this world, and I can't stop it… can’t change it. But , I can improve things, just a bit. It’s a lesson I've learned, and that I'm trying to teach all of you fools”, he said with a glint in his eye, and you let a soft puff of air out through your nose as you smiled gently, completely enrapt in his words. “Life can be better . Not perfect, but… we can protect people we love . When somebody doesn’t lie in this world, and you don’t lie to them, then together you can achieve great things”.

Lenny nodded to himself as Hosea finished talking, both of you taking in his advice and reflections, however this time in a silent gratitude rather than silent confliction. You found truth in his words, comfort even. 

‘We can protect people we love ’, Hosea’s voice told you once more inside your head.

“Here”. You had hardly noticed Javier returning with the food. “Sorry it took so long, Pearson apparently had a lot on his heart tonight”, he then huffed carefree, and you pulled yourself out of the whirlwind of thoughts now rummaging your brain. Reaching out, you took the bowl he presented you with out of his hand.

“That’s alright, thank you”, you smiled at him.

“It’s getting late, I’ll leave you all to it”, Hosea got up from his seat with a strained grunt, Javier and the rest of you wishing him a good night. Lenny also seemed to shove your previous conversation aside for now, moving closer to the pair of you to engage in a little more easy going conversation. 

Worrying thoughts about the gang and where you were heading disappeared, replaced by laughter and joyous discussions. 

~

You had been right in your assessment of Dutch’s growing despise for Angelo Bronte. Albeit well placed, the sheer obsession that seemed to be overtaking him is what ultimately troubled you. You didn’t learn of the exact plans Dutch had made for his retaliation until after the deed had been carried out one late Lemoyne night. All you knew was that Hosea strongly disapproved, the man in a particularly discontented mood while they were away, keeping to himself on the balcony, musing into his book.

Judging by the way Lenny wouldn’t even tell you just what happened to the Italian following their little nocturnal ’socialcall’, as Dutch had so meticulously called it, it couldn’t have been anything nice…

However with Bronte now out of his mind, Dutch seemed to look ahead once more. His focus was now back on the city, or more specifically; Lemoyne National Bank.

Hosea had already been looking into the bank while Dutch were preoccupied with Bronte, and so he was quick to set the gears in motion, sending a rotation of you girls to check out the bank and its surroundings while he and Dutch took care of the technical aspects of the plan.

You and Karen had just taken a walk around the city, stopping for a little respite on the bench outside of Saint Denis’ courthouse, conveniently placed across the road from the bank. For the following hour or so you spent it talking about trivial things as you kept a watchful eye on the motions of any employees or clients entering or exiting the building. Once Abigail walked up the street, you and Karen got up from your seat, pretending to be in a continuously deep conversation while leaving the area. Behind you, Abigail crossed the street to enter the bank while Tilly, walking over from the tailors, took a seat at the Trolley stop, where the trolley conveniently had departed right before. This left Tilly to seemingly aimlessly look around at the surrounding buildings while she waited for the trolley to return. 

Two hours after you and Karen had made it back to camp, Tilly arrived, followed by Abigail. You all reported your finds from the day’s observations; One armed guard posted outside the side exit, and an additional two policemen inside, however just one of them was armed with a firearm, the other closest to the main entrance carrying only a baton. Karen even went back in the evening with Trelawny as a chaperone to scout out what you’d be up against during darker hours. This rotation had been repeated a couple more times at different hours of the clock, with a different variation of which one of you went where, to ensure you had covered all bases. 

Two days passed like this, the result of your observations staying exactly the same. You would spend the day scouting the city limits and if not that you were attending various strategic meetings where Dutch and Hosea would update you and the rest of the crew for the heist on the current state of your plan. Any changes and alterations would come directly from them, keeping things as clear as possible. Still, all the preparations claimed most of your focus and energy, leaving time for socialising and leisure slim. 

“We’ve done all the preparations we can do. Tonight we take it easy, unwind, and be ready to leave in the late morning tomorrow”, Dutch declared in front of your crew, following Arthur’s endorsement of Hosea’s opinion to carry out the job during the day. Around you, the rest of the men got up from their seats with tired groans, dispersing to go fetch a drink or rest by the fire outside. Next to you, Abigail rested her hand on your shoulder for a moment while giving you a soft look, one telling you to have a good night, before she got up to join Jack in their room upstairs. 

You felt ready for the following day, however still nervous. All the details of the plan had been meticulously mapped out and explained, leaving no room to doubt that everyone was sure of exactly what to do. Even so, with big scale jobs like this, there’s always a risk. Blackwater was an example of what such risks could cost you, and you weren’t quite sure you would be able to go through such a thing again.

Shaking yourself free from the jitters, you exited the house to join the group who had gathered by the fire. Lenny was in the middle of retelling an engaging story from his early teenage years, and alongside Arthur, Tilly, Charles, Uncle and Javier, you listened intently, with an amused smile plastered across your face. 

The sun was setting, the warm hues matching the warmth being emitted from the good company you kept. Even Bill and Karen joined in after a while, howls of laughter breaking the otherwise calm atmosphere surrounding Shady Belle. 

After some time, Javier got up from his seat on the ground. At first you thought nothing of it, assuming he was going for a drink or something of the sorts. However, when he gave you a look and a small motion of his head for you to follow before he rounded the corner of the house across the lot from you, you waited a minute or two before you excused yourself. 

You trudged your way over the dirt path leading past the fountain in a calm fashion. Right as you reached the end of the front porch, you froze upon noticing Molly. She was sitting at the edge of the wooden flooring, staring holes into the ground as her head rested against one of the pillars. 

“Molly?”

The redhead looked up with a tired expression. You could see from the sore, red colour in her eyes that she had been crying again. She didn’t say anything, only holding your gaze.

“Are you alright, Molly?”, you asked carefully. You knew she wasn’t, but it had been almost impossible for any of you to properly get through to her lately. If it wasn’t you trying to extend a hand, it was someone else, and she’d either snap at them or simply shrug it all off. You had caught enough to know she had said she didn’t like the lot of you pitying her, but it was hard not to whenever you’d stop and notice just how miserable she looked…

“I’m fine”, she muttered curtly, running the back of her hand over her eye. You inspected her quietly, not believing that for a second. That much must’ve been apparent in your expression as she scoffed slightly annoyed before you could even open your mouth to speak.

“Are you sure, cause if you need anything I’d be happy to-”

“I told you I’m fine!”, she snapped, scowling at you for a moment, before deflating back into her tired position against the pillar. “I don’t need your pity”, she then added, much more quietly. You lingered a moment more, debating whether or not you should push it any further, ultimately deciding against it. There was no use right now anyhow, her whole demeanour keeping you out, like she had locked a door between you.

“Alright”, you sighed softly, taking a careful step away, followed by another, until you turned away from her completely to continue on your path to wherever Javier had walked off to.

You spotted him further ahead, shoulders and back leaning casually against the exterior wall of the house facing the swampy water. Without sound, you walked over, assuming the same casual lean just next to him, your hands tucked behind your back. Minutes passed in comfortable silence, taking in the sounds of the intensifying chirping of the crickets as you got closer to the sun fully disappearing. 

“One last time, huh”, you eventually broke the peace, glancing over to see that Javier was already looking at you. 

Gently, he smiled. “ Una última vez ”, he said almost like a confirmation. You stared back at him, mesmerised by the way the dim light from the last little bit of sunlight framed his figure. Like an enchantment it pulled you in without warning, and before Javier could even properly catch it, your lips were on his. Hand travelled up his arm to find anchor at his shoulder while you kissed him with fervour, a hunger he could not resist to indulge himself in. He immediately found your waist as he took a firm grasp, fingers kneading into the supple flesh through the fabric of your shirt.

Your hand slid down from the shoulder to rest by his chest, grasping and clawing at his necktie in a desperate attempt to loosen it. At that he paused for a moment, struggling for breath against your kisses. “Wanna get outta here?”, Javier asked hoarsely against your wet lips, and your brows quirked slightly at his proposal as you backed your head away just enough to look at him.

“And go where?”

“Just take a walk”, he shrugged easily. Javier looked at you through his eyes half-lidded, his gaze searing with lust, and you let your hand fall down from his chest. 

“Lead the way then”

The corner of his lip curled up into a smirk, and you felt one quick peck being placed atop your forehead as he leaned in before swiftly removing his hands from your torso. He took a few steps away while still facing you, making sure you followed. As soon as you pulled yourself together and caught up with him, he turned back around to face ahead, seemingly with somewhere in mind as his steps appeared determined, however for all you knew he could just be walking wherever his feet took him.

As you crossed the back of the estate and went off walking across the little grassy field leading to the forest, you began placing your bet on the latter. It was getting darker now, the heated atmosphere from before calming just slightly as you simply enjoyed wandering around in his presence. Further behind you now you could hear the distant chatter form the folks still lounging about the campfire. However, as you passed the treeline and walked deeper in amongst the trees, the comforting sound of their laughter faded, replaced by a slightly eerie feeling. You had passed some wild goats and eastern turkeys earlier, still noticing the rustle of them moving about the shrubs. This wouldn’t all be so uncomfortable if it wasn’t for that other noise you heard in a completely different direction, not quite able to place if the sound was human or animalistic. Once again you had left your weapons under the couch, so you were relieved to notice Javier still had his gun belt securely clamped around his hips… just in case .

Upon hearing the strange noise once more, Javier also seemed to notice it, looking in the direction of it before eyeing you. The darkness laid over the forest like a thick blanket, the trees casting additional shadows from the moonlight seeping through, merging and forming into various shapes. 

“You know, back home…”, he looked around you cautiously before he leaned just a little closer to you, speaking lowly, “We have this creature that eats livestock and people alike. It waits until nightfall, when it's all quiet…”. You didn’t outright believe him however what he told you along with the eerie atmosphere did its job to make you feel just slightly on edge. “And when no one can hear you, it sneaks up on you from behind to… drink your blood”, as he said that you felt something pinch both sides of your waist, and you were audibly startled, scooting away while turning around in an instant as you looked for whatever just touched you. Your jumpiness calmed as you only met Javier, who was mere seconds away from laughing due to your reaction to his little antic that had been more significant than he thought it would be.

“You asshole”, you scoffed, though not able to suppress a smile as you shoved him away from you. He laughed heartily, losing balance just slightly from your push. Steadying himself, he returned to his spot next to you.

“ Cálmate, cálmate, mi vida, you’re safe with me, you know”, he reached out to drape his arm across your shoulders as you kept walking ahead. You rolled your eyes, calming your racing heart. “It’s just something my mother used to say anyway, to make me behave”. 

“You don’t say”, you huffed with a knowing look, and he glanced at you with a smirk.

“If I'd have been half as easily led on as you, she might’ve not had such a handful with me”. 

“Hey, I’m not that easily led”

“Well you followed me and Mac only minutes after meeting us”. You quirked your brow at his clever tone.

“You saying I shouldn't have?”

“No, of course not”, he swiftly spoke, eyes slightly blown wide. “I’m just saying as far as credulousness goes…”

“ You followed Dutch right after meeting him, and you couldn’t even understand what he was saying.. I’d say that’s pretty credulous, if we’re talking in all practicality”, you countered his logic.

“That’s different, he was helping me”

“And you guys were helping me , remember? I was in a pretty tight spot…”

“I guess you’re right”, he doubled down. “Maybe I didn’t really become so easily led until I was in a situation where I felt like I had no choice”. 

You eyed him with care, watching him pull himself out of the dismal thoughts before you could even say a word, to look at you with an expression full of tenderness. His arm slid down from your shoulders, letting go.

“She would’ve liked you”. 

“You think?”. You felt the pads of his fingers touch your wrist as he let them softly run along the palm of your relaxed hand until they found your fingers, securely lacing them between them.

“Yeah, she kept telling me to put the fighting and dreams for revolution aside and settle down.. She never could quite see things for how they were, or maybe she chose to ignore it for her own peace of mind… She wished the same for me. ‘ When are you gonna find a fine woman to love, and settle down, hijo ’, she’d always ask me every time I’d stop by home”, he said with a little delicate snicker at the memory playing in his mind, before he paused, looking a little dejected, “I thought I had found what she talked about once, but it turned out to be all lies. But now, with you, it feels different. Feels right”. You smiled sincerely at his words as you gave his hand a soft squeeze, one telling him you understood exactly what he meant. He had already told you long ago about the particular incident that led to him fleeing the country for good. Told you about that woman he had given up everything for, the woman he had killed for, who in the end would wound up breaking his trust after everything he sacrificed. And trust and loyalty meant everything to Javier.

Watching him remember his late mother with a sentimental smile while glancing up at the stars as you walked, you then felt a sense of sadness. His mother truly just wanted him to be safe and loved, knowing she wouldn’t be able to be there for him throughout his life. With the way things were, and regrettably still is like over there, she knew she would either depart much sooner than she should’ve, or he would end up being killed for his rebellious acts against the tyrannical government. Even if you could be the one to love him the way he deserved, your current situation was far from safe- far from secure. Far from what his mother so desperately wished for him.

“Well, we ain’t exactly in a position to settle anytime soon here either”, you eventually spoke, and he met your slightly apprehensive eyes. 

“Yeah… But if Dutch is right and tomorrow goes as planned, we might just get there sooner than we think”. 

“A ‘ fresh start in a faraway tropical paradise of freedom, farming fruits and taking life slow ’, huh”, you repeated some of the promises Dutch had presented to you all with his change of goals; starting anew in the far pacific south rather than the american west. “I guess we can only hope…”. 

“We’ve come too far to start doubting him now”. You looked at him, eyes dropping to your linked hands between you as you took a moment, before looking back up at him with an easy smile. 

“I suppose you’re right”

Appearing out of the trees was a little cabin, or more so a rundown building the size of a shack in the shape of a hut, with warm, orange light emitting from the small windows.

Your brows furrowed in slight confusion when Javier walked up to the door, resting his hand on the knob while holding the other out for you.

“There’s no one here”, he assured you, and so you closed in, placing your hand in his reluctantly. As he opened the door, lamps were already lit in the otherwise abandoned looking hut, as noted from the outside. Although run down, the wooden panels enclosing the place were still intact. There was a simple counter to the right of the entrance, and a mattress in the far right corner of the small space, a familiar blanket draped over it, one you recognised from your camp. In the tiny fireplace to the left of the mattress, logs were already stacked, ready for Javier who walked right over to set them alight. 

“Did you do all this?”, you asked once you put the pieces together. He gave you a soft gesture with a small pull of his shoulders, however his eyes conveyed his answer. “When?”. 

“This morning while you were away. Stumbled across the place the other day while I took my rounds, and cleared out the worst of the junk lying around”. He walked over to you slowly as he explained, letting the fingers of his left hand run along the countertop you were leaning your hip against until he stood right in front of you. “I’ve barely gotten to talk to you lately with all this planning and preparations… And you’ve been looking so… tense ”. Extending his arm, his thumb and index finger grabbed your chin gently as he peered down at your lips. He watched the way they folded inwards for a second as you subconsciously wetted them, taking in the way he so hungrily looked at them. 

“Well of course I am, you should be too”, you managed to finally utter serenely, moving just a little closer to him.

“What makes you think I'm not?”. The light flickering from the various lanterns cast a warm hue across his tanned skin, illuminating shapes and pretty patterns on his slightly exposed neck that you desperately wanted to trace with your tongue.

“In that case…”, you looked down to where your hand now ran up his torso slowly. “Can’t have you be distracted tomorrow, now can we?”, you looked back up with a glint in your eyes that Javier caught onto right away.

“No…”. Pressing yourself against him now, you nudged him enough to where his back was fully turned to the counter, and he caught himself before he could lose his balance. Javier was leaning against the edge of the counter, his arms propped against the wooden surface firmly as he eyed your movements intently, jaw slightly slacked. “That would be bad for everyone”.

Leaning in close to his throat, you ghosted your lips just right over his skin. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as the mere expectation of your inevitable touch excited him, feeling the small puffs of air from your nose hit him softly. You could sense it all emit from him as if his thoughts and feelings were directly interlinked with your own, your bodies and souls perfectly in sync. Javier seemed to be quite responsive to your grazes this evening… It only made you want to test just how long you could refrain from any substantial touch before he broke. “That’s true, we all gotta do our part…”. You could feel him breathe heavier from where your fingers gently caressed his chest, toying with the buttons of his blue vest. “So, what’s my ‘part’ tonight, handsome?”. 

A noise of restraint left his throat as he stirred under your touch, everything within him anticipatingly awaiting your next move. “I”, he exhaled to steady himself, “I think you know”. You smirked from his neck, hovering just enough to where he could faintly feel your lips on his skin, moving up to ghost right above his ear, your tone feigning innocence.

“Oh? Do I?”

Javier didn’t speak, only nodded keenly as he kept his eyes trailed on your exposed neck outstretched right below his chin, your skin so bare and enticing, practically begging him to claim it with his lips. His eyes fluttered closed as he kept himself from grabbing your waist and taking you right then and there.

Your nimble fingers had successfully opened the vest, moving on to stroke their way downwards, feeling his muscles through the shirt. You were starting to lose yourself now too as you pictured peeling off the layers, unveiling that tanned, strong body just waiting for you underneath it all. Waiting for you to kiss your way across it, let your tongue run along the defined lines while he reached out to feel you… To hold you. The imagery alone sent waves of excitement to your core as you pressed your own thighs together. Biting down on your lower lip you pulled at the hem of his shirt, freeing it from his confining denim pants, finally letting the pads of your fingers caress his abdomen. “You want my touch?”. The feeling of your slightly chilled skin now on his sent shockwaves through him, only adding to the fire roaring within; one he struggled to contain more and more the longer you kept this up.

“Yes, shit ”, he hissed, turning his head towards you just a little, so his hot cheek could nuzzle against yours, patience visibly running thin. “I want you , mi belleza ”, he said barely above a whisper, yet his tone so needy you couldn’t help but oblige. “ All of you ”. At that he broke your restraint, not that you would’ve been able to abstain much longer anyhow, sheer desire overtaking your senses. You allowed your lips to fully meet his skin now, right underneath his earlobe as you nipped and kissed anything you could reach. Javier’s hands curled slightly, nails digging into the wood as he welcomed your advances. Your pelvis was flush against his, and you could feel him grow harder as you pressed yourself impossibly closer.

Moving up, you left a trail of kisses along his jaw, working your way to his lips. The moment they connected Javier kissed you back hungrily, sighing into your mouth as you melted into him. Loosening the cherry-red neckerchief, your fingers kept working the buttons of his shirt, moving down to fickle with the buckle of the gunbelt once you freed his chest and abdomen from his shirt. 

Once the belt was off you half-hazardly dropped it at the back of the counter behind Javier without breaking the kiss, feeling his right hand grab at the small of your back while you proceeded to unbutton the front of his pants. At this point both Javier’s hands were at the collar of your shirt, fumbling to open the tiny buttons. He didn’t, however, get far before your mouth left his to leave a trail of wet kisses down his throat, continuing on their journey past his chest and following those deliciously firm bumps and crevices of his abs.

He grabbed a hold of the edge of the counter once more to ground himself while he eyed you keenly, admiring your pretty eyes looking up at him through your lashes from where you now sat on your knees before him. Your face was inches away from his pelvis, teasing fingers running along the waistband of the pants still covering him, toying with the half-opened fly piece. Javier let go of the counter with his left hand to nimbly let it caress your cheek, gaze never leaving yours. The action made you smile, to which the corner of his lip quirked upwards. In a smooth motion his hand left your cheek to reach for his bowler hat securely placed on his head, removing it to then place it atop yours. Javier gave it a little tap to put it in place and your smile turned crooked as you smirked. 

“How do I look?”, you asked playfully, backing away from him just a little as if to show it off. Javier grinned as a short chuckle left his throat, before the smile turned softer. 

“What was that word you used again…”, he thought out loud, before what he was looking for popped into mind, “ Dazzling ”, his hand found your cheek once more, eyes fondly looking at the way your smile reached your eyes as you snickered.

“Well then… I best borrow it more often then”, you teased while keeping your eyes on his as you closed back in. Your lips latched onto the exposed part of his pelvis, immediately prompting a suppressed moan to escape through his sealed lips, hands pulling at the waistband to let his pants fall to his ankles. 

“ Dios ”, Javier muttered under his breath once he felt you grab his length, slowly pumping it in your hand as you moved your kisses closer and closer. His hand on your cheek moved to the back of your head, his fingers tangling themselves into your hair from underneath. While looking up, you licked a long strip along the shaft, hand still working him at the base in small, controlled motions.

Reaching the end, you placed your lips around the tip, giving him just the tiniest suck. You watched him eye you hungrily, eyes screwed shut for just a moment as he relished in just the smallest wave of pleasure. As his eyes fluttered open once more you’re not sure you’ve ever seen him this desperate, jaw slightly slacked again as he lustfully took in the sight of you taking more of his cock into your mouth.

You worked your mouth further down his length, filling it up while upping the pace of your hand just enough. Sucking in once more, you began moving your head back and forth, matching the speed of your hand. He groaned, fingers slipping out of your hair to grab at the top of his hat on your head firmly, half-way guiding you half-way just trying to steady himself again as the satisfying and near euphoric effects of your warm, wet mouth on his cock were instant. “ Niña bonita ”, he sighed watching you below him, followed by a row of hissed foreign curses.

You glanced up at that, your free hand traveling up to grab at his exposed chest, exploring the soft flesh beneath your fingers as you dug them into his skin. Moaning around him he choked on his breath as he let out a strained sigh, his hips involuntarily thrusted forward as a reflex. You whined instinctively at the unexpected movement, the sound coming out muffled. 

“Sorry”, he murmured through uneven breaths, however he couldn’t stop himself from assisting you further with smaller thrusts of his hips as the pleasure heightened. You let him fuck himself into your mouth, the uncontrollable whimpers and moans leaving you sounding like the most beautiful of melodies to his ears as you dug your nails into his abdomen. “Such pretty little noises, cariño .. shit ”, he hissed as the pace picked up once more. “ Tan buneo ”. His voice was but a whisper. A desperate, breathy mess of a whisper.

It was all too much, Javier couldn’t hold it back much longer as that familiar fire set ablaze. “ Basta … S-stop”, he managed to croak out, grabbing your chin to lock you in place. You relaxed your jaw, releasing him from your mouth, looking up at him with raised brows and a curious expression. “I don’t wanna finish just yet and you feel too good, cariño ”, he professed earnestly, the tender look he gave you and the way his fingers caressed your chin were almost like a request for you to stand up and join him.

With that you got up to your feet, instantly engulfed in his arms as he wrapped one around your waist and the other hooked under your thigh. Javier lifted you up in a smooth motion and you instinctively wrapped your legs around him while your hands found the back of his neck and your lips crashed into his. He turned the both of you around and placed you atop the creaking counter. Your hands slid down from his neck to peel off the shirt and vest that was still hanging lax over his shoulders, feeling his toned biceps flex as he currently worked on unbuttoning your shirt properly this time. 

You pulled him in closer by the legs, grinding yourself against his hardness through the fabrics still covering your lower half. Javier groaned into your mouth, biting down on your bottom lip just enough to make you gasp lightly. Inside you an insatiable fire roared, aching and begging for more to fuel it.

Reluctant to break the kiss, however too overtaken by his lust for you, Javier backed away just a little to be able to remove the rest of your clothing. As soon as you lowered your ass back to the counter after raising your hips to assist the removal of your skirt and bloomers, he pulled the chemise over your head. His eyes scanned your bare skin illuminated by the warm light from the fire, lost in the soft, tenderness that met him. “So beautiful”, he spoke his mesmerised thoughts out loud, leaning back in to capture your lips once more. Javier’s hand found a spot on the small of your back to hold you close, the other reaching up to remove his hat from your head, placing it on the counter next to you in exchange of his fingers now grazing and smoothing over your soft hair. 

As his tongue danced against yours, his hand slid down from your hair, lower and lower until it grazed your sides and found rest on your thigh. You hardly registered it before his calloused fingers moved along your inner thigh, running across your aching clit, eliciting yet another delicious gasp from you. Javier’s thumb stayed there, rubbing slow and steady circles on your nub while his index and middle finger coated themselves in your slick to then push into your weeping pussy. 

Your head lulled back, hitting the wall softly while your eyes squeezed shut. Whimpers fell from your lips as you arched your back. He closed in to kiss his way across your chest, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking and lapping his wet tongue over it again and again, each time heightening your already racing pulse. Your airy gasps for breath mixed with soft moans was all the encouragement Javier needed. That however didn’t mean he would settle for not hearing your voice tell him just exactly how good you felt.

“ Dime, hermosa ”, he hummed against your supple skin, the loose framing pieces of his hair caressing your chest as he moved over to encapsulate the other nipple with his sweet lips. “Tell me how you like it”.

You cursed under your breath as he curled his fingers inside you just as you opened your mouth to reply, and you could’ve sworn you felt him smirk against your mound. “Faster, please ”, you managed to say, your hands grasping at his firm shoulder blades, clinging to him for some sort of support as you felt your limbs grow weak. 

“Yeah? Like this?”, Javier asked while upping the pace of his thumb and two other digits alike, moaning around your nipple as your approval manifested itself through sweet whines of pleasure. “ Mierda, querida ”, he murmured,“ Tan atractiva, tan caliente… me excitas tanto ”. His voice was heavy with desire all while that delightful, glorious pressure within you started nearing its peak. Javier’s fingers kept up their merciless pace, pumping them in and out of your sensitive, supple walls, the nerves of your hardened clit begging for that sweet release.

“Don’t stop”, you sighed desperately, your hands moving to cup his face, pulling him up to your eye-level so you could crash your lips against him just as desperately as your tone. “So good, shit ”, you whined against his lips, the pressure reaching that long awaited release as soon as Javier hit just the right spot. 

“ Ay, sí linda , come on my fingers”, Javier croaked as he felt your pussy spasm around his digits, savouring each of your gasps and sounds of pleasure as if they were the world’s most valuable treasure. 

You had barely managed to get down from your high when Javier removed his fingers, raising them up to his lips to clean them of your delectable release. Moving your hands to hook your arms around his neck, you placed a chaste kiss on his lips, one Javier returned instantly. You both took a second to breathe as his arms snaked themselves around your waist, feeling your soft flesh beneath the palms of his hands, bending and shaping underneath his touch. Your legs were still shaky from the overstimulation, however you hooked your ankles together as you tilted your head in the direction of the mattress. “Would be a shame not to make the most of finally having a mattress, don’t you think?”, you asked him softly, your undertone clever. A look of pure yearning flashed across Javier’s tender expression as he looked at you, the corner of his lip quirking upwards.

Without warning he picked you up like you weighed nothing, and moved a few steps towards the mattress. Javier gently released you onto the soft blanket before ridding himself of his boots and pants still hanging around his ankles. He fell to his knees between your legs, nimbly dragging his hands along your leg to lift it up as he rested it atop his shoulder. Javier untied the laces of your boots smoothly while placing loving kisses along your calf. 

As soon as the laces were untied he peeled the shoe off, followed by your stocking, mirroring his actions on your other leg as well. Your bare feet gingerly fell from his shoulders as you sat yourself up to meet him at his level. Before he could utter a word, you got up to your knees to push him down against the mattress, his back hitting the soft material with a delicate thud. Javier propped himself up by his elbows, a brow quirking as he eyed you intrigued. 

Slowly, gaze never leaving his, you climbed atop him to straddle him, fingers running up his toned chest to give him the softest of nudges. “Lay down, cowboy”, you teased, suppressing a giggle as he huffed with a grin. Nevertheless, he obeyed, falling back to where the back of his head met the blanket. Your hand was still resting atop his chest as you experimentally started rocking your hips a little back and forth. At that Javier’s breath hitched in his throat, and his hand reached up to clutch around the wrist of your arm on his chest. 

The wetness still remaining from your previous orgasm only made the sensation feel a hundred times more pleasurable as you grinded your clit against his increasingly hardening shaft. 

When Javier audibly moaned your name you lifted yourself up just enough to grab his length and ease yourself down around it, feeling that delicious sting as it pushed you open. His breathing stuttered, feeling how tightly you squeezed around him, and you let out a soft cry once you sat down flush atop his pelvis, relishing in the sensation of him all the way inside your pulsing walls.

You took a moment to savour it all, savour the image of Javier clinging to your wrist as his hungry eyes drank you in. After allowing yourself time to adjust to him, you started rocking your hips once more, this time with slow and calculated motions. You sucked your bottom lip in, biting down on it as the friction from your sensitive nub rubbing against him sent waves of bliss coursing through you. The pace that had started slow quickly turned faster as you chased that heavenly feeling. Javier clearly felt it too, however he still noticed that small crease between your brows as you attempted to hold yourself back just a little, whimpers muffled through your tightly sealed lips. Meanwhile he himself could not hold back even if he tried, a constant stream of moans stirring in the back of his throat as you felt absolutely divine around him. The way you rode and grinded yourself onto him was a pleasure unlike anything he had ever experienced before. 

“I wanna hear you, mi vida” , he groaned, “You feel so good, shit , you’re so so good”. At the praise your jaw slacked and you pushed yourself down harder, nails grasping at his skin. Your breathing was uneven as delight-filled whines left your mouth. Javier propped himself up on one elbow, the other hand reaching for the nape of your neck to pull you down where he could meet your lips. He pushed himself deep into your mouth, swallowing your whimpers as you kept up your euphoric movements. You started lifting yourself up slightly to swiftly lower yourself back down, repeating the motion. Javier sighed heavily against your lips, pushing himself up to a seated position, his chest flush against yours as he cradled you in his arms.

He held you tightly as you kept on bouncing on him, moving his lips from your mouth to paint a pretty picture with his tongue down along your throat, finding a spot to latch onto by your collarbone. He nipped and sucked, worshipping your skin as he repeated praises over and over like a prayer. “ Hazme el amor, preciosa, puedes hacerlo ”. Your head fell back while your hold around him only tightened, fingers releasing his hair from its tie so you could entangle yourself within his dark locks.

You were close, oh so close, and Javier was not far behind, chasing his own ecstacy… Yet your body couldn’t deny the burning exhaustion- the repeated motion beginning to tire you out. As if he could feel it himself, Javier’s hand fell down to your lower back while the other propped itself firmly on the mattress. With his motion as fluid and sensual as his kiss, he turned you around to rest against the mattress, taking over as he pounded himself into you. “You did so well, hermosa , such a good girl”, he affirmed as silky as satin in your ear before he kissed down your neck. Javier hummed against your skin as you squeezed around him. 

Once you started repeating his name through your airy breaths, he knew you were nearing your peak for the second time, and so he moved his hand down between your bodies to rub at your clit while he continued fucking himself deeper into you. “You can do it, mi belleza , you feel good, yeah?”, purred against your neck.

“Yes, yes, yes!”, you immediately sputtered, your skin prickling with that electrifying feeling all over your body, heat pooling down in your abdomen as the knot began to loosen. At the sound of your desperate response, he upped the pace of his thumb.

“ Mierda, eres tan buena para mí, ángel ”, Javier groaned softly. You felt the knot loosen completely and the crash of the wave of blissful satisfaction hit you like a frenzied driverless horse carriage. “That’s it, preciosa , that’s it”, he hummed tender while keeping up his thrusts, fucking you through your orgasm. Your breathing calmed as the sea of stars in your eyes cleared, small whimpers still leaving your throat as Javier now followed you with determined jerks of his hips.

His head dipped down again to kiss you senseless as you muffled his delicious noises with your tongue finding his. Without moving away, he swiftly slipped out of you, grabbing his cock to release his spill atop your abdomen with a few additional pumps. His breathing staggered as he forced himself to a calm, soothed by the way you caressed his back.

After resting his forehead against yours for a moment, the two of you catching your breaths against each other’s lips, he backed away a little to peer down at you. His expression was tender, eyes so full of love and care as he examined your face, taking in every little crevice and detail. Your heart swelled with pure elation and affection watching him, hand reaching for his face to push some of his hair out of the way, which fell right back down. His sweet smile turned sweeter at your action, and he slumped down to his side while he cupped your cheek, making you follow him with a turn of your head.

“You’re like heaven”, he eventually spoke, and the corners of your lip quivered at his words as you turned your body to face him, ignoring the way his spill trickled down your stomach, soiling the fabric you laid on. Blanket be damned... You scooted closer, reaching up to softly caress his lips with the pads of your index and middle finger, gaze following the motion keenly before you met his eyes again.

“If I’m heavenly then you’re like the whole universe”. Javier scoffed humorly at your response, giving you a soft nudge with his hand on your cheek before pulling you in by his arm wrapped around your upper back and head, cradling your face against his chest.

“Nothing beats the heavens, tontita ”, he said in a humorous tone, however you still caught that earnestness within his words. He kissed the top of your head next to where his hand rested, fingers caressing your hair. “ Pones a las estrellas en vergüenza ”, he whispered softly, waiting a moment before translating just as tenderly, “You put the stars to shame”.

You forced your head up just enough to look at him once more, your heart stirring within as you met his eyes, the umber gaze overflowing with devotion. At a loss for words you could do nothing but smile just as lovingly, placing a chaste kiss on his forehead before resting yours against his.

Both of you settled into the embrace, neither wanting to move a muscle as moving meant it was time to meet the unknown of the morrow. Staying put, right here and now, it was safe and known. It was simply the two of you alone in this world, existing together underneath your own little canopy of warmth and security. Your very own brief taste of a full life, evergreen.

Chapter Text

The late morning sun beamed down on you, though the intensity of its persistent rays were yet to reach its eventual, bordering unbearable, heat. It had been a quiet ride out past Shady Belle’s surrounding walls of trees and swampy rivers, the familiar sound of crickets chirping and the odd bird flapping its wings as it ascended from a nearby branch calmed the coiling feeling in your gut. Or at least just a little.  

You had almost spaced out completely by the time you reached the dirt road leading towards your destination, had it not been for the soft mumbles leaving Lenny’s lips as he quietly ran through the various steps of Dutch’s plan for the umpteenth time that morning. 

“You okay Lenny?”, you turned your head from where your cheek was resting lazily against Javier’s back, overlooking the water to the right, to observe him pulling at the orange bandana seemingly tied too tightly around his neck.

“Sure, just wanna make sure it’s all fresh and well in mind”, he didn’t hesitate to answer with a certain smile, his voice light and assuring, though you caught the slightest tinge of nerves hiding beneath it all. Lenny has always been eager to take part in the bigger jobs, his mind set on proving his worth, no matter how many times he’s already proven just that before. Today was no different. Still, you knew Blackwater and its direct consequences hung heavy on his mind, as it did yours. There was no stopping the floodgates of memories from opening as you neared the polluted big city. An inner flash of determination and focus made you tighten your hold around Javier from your rear end seat atop Boaz. Flashing Lenny an understanding look you went back to staring across the body of water surrounding Saint Denis. 

Dutch had decided that the three of you would ride ahead of the rest. This operation demanded carefully timed and precise movement, but above all else you needed to avoid standing out at all costs. It would look conspicuous for the lot of you to ride up at the same time, and this way you also had the chance to assess the situation one last time. Should anything be alarmingly different from your previous weeks of meticulous scouting and planning you had the opportunity to halt the reins and put a stop to the entire thing before it had the chance to go south. You, however, internally uttered a small prayer that it wouldn’t be the case. As nerve wracking pulling off such a big heist again was, you found yourself inspired by Javier’s display of unwavering belief in Dutch and Hosea’s grand, final plan the previous night. The final job to end all hardships- the last struggle before finally settling down someplace where riches in the sense of a safe and full life alongside your chosen family would be all you knew. Pain and troubles a distant memory.

You had to believe he was right. 

Maggie and Boaz came to a halt when you reached the end of the bridge connecting the city to the rest of Lemoyne. “See you in there”, you smiled at Lenny, your fists meeting in a soft bump across the backs of your horses before you slid down, your feet hitting the wooden floorboards of the bridge with a thud. You smoothed out the creases in your skirt before looking up at Javier. It was a silent exchange of looks, your eyes conveying every wish and longing for the other to stay safe and to survive better than words ever could. His concerned eyes softened then, hand reaching out to gently engulf your own, and with delicate care he brought it up to place a chaste kiss atop the back of it. There was something assuring about it,- a promise .

Your mouth twitched at the action, the corners of your lips turning upwards as your heart swelled. And once he let go and the pair continued on ahead, the feeling of his lips lingered atop your hand as if they had never left your skin. The warmth from embracing him the whole ride there was already dissipating, your body yearning to feel that comforting heat seep back into you once more. Javier and Lenny’s forms turned smaller and smaller as the distance now put between you grew, and once they turned a corner you stood completely alone.

Oh, you simply had to believe he was right.

Straightening up, you turned your focus back to the matters at hand. You would walk up to the bank and enter as some unassumingly, normal patron. If the guards posted there aligned with your earlier observations, you’d place yourself next to the one carrying arms. He was to be knocked out as soon as the others made their entrance, ensuring a smooth start to the part of the job that, depending on the willingness of the bank manager, takes the longest; opening the vaults.

The heels of your shoes clicked atop the cobblestone, the jean materialed pants you were wearing felt slightly uncomfortable underneath the many layers of fabric making up your skirt. You adjusted it ever so slightly as you closed in on the yellow building, taking a deep breath in before straightening your shoulders and gently pushing the door open.

“Miss”, the guard posted near the side exit greeted you with a swift nod of his head, and you plastered a friendly smile on your face, walking a few steps further in. It seemed to be a somewhat busy day, busier than the other times you had been there to observe, however nothing to indicate you had to halt the robbery. The bank manager was much preoccupied with other patrons, which boded well for you. You could linger about the guard under the guise of awaiting your turn, staying well and clear away from the attention of the others. A breath of relief left your lungs. This could really be it.

Whenever you were certain he wasn’t looking you let your eyes wander across his form. The guard rifle was firmly clutched in his hands, however the pistol by his hip had a thick metal grip with a heavy blunt end by the looks of it. It rested lazily in the holster, placed openly enough for a swift grab.

The silent anticipation waiting for the loud sound of Hosea’s distraction was deafening, and you found yourself following the intricate patterns adorning the decor of the bank’s interior as time moved slower and slower.

Then . A ground shaking blast accompanied by shocked and horrified exclamations rang out around you as everyone clung to the nearest surface. You nearly toppled over yourself, caught last minute by the guard grabbing a hold of your upper arm to help stabilise you. Your eyes immediately searched for his face, but he was looking in the direction of the explosion, serious lines drawn across his face from his furrowed brows. His own gaze sought out the other guard, one who had the same mixed look of confusion and alertness. Any second now…

The door was kicked open with such force, the sound of it hitting the walls startled even you. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is a hold up!”, Dutch's distinct voice called out as he stepped inside, guns held up and on clear display. The guard immediately let go of you to aim his rifle, however as soon as his fingers unwrapped themselves from your flesh you reached for his pistol, applying all your might into the blow you applied to the back of his head with the blunted metal end of the weapon. The man fell to the floor with a thud and you reached for your throat, hooking your finger into the fabric of your bandana to pull it up and over your nose. “Don’t do nothing stupid”.

The men and women alike let out frightened cries upon being faced with masked men and pointed guns, the rest of Dutch’s boys slipping in past him, knocking out the unarmed guard on their way. Charles, Micah and Bill focused on crowd control, and after grabbing the rifle from the unresponsive man at your feet, you swiftly joined them, ushering them into a room in the back of the bank. A particularly stubborn man dared to oppose Javier’s orders for him to move, refusing to leave his spot with his hands up in the air; “Who do you think you are?”. You took a step towards them, cocking the rifle as you too now aimed at him. The man’s resolve seemed to falter upon staring head on into two barrels of rifles pointed to his face. His gaze lowered and he took a shaky step back, and then another, until he joined the rest in the room. Bill locked the door, and you all posted yourselves at different spots in the room, keeping eyes and ears open for any abnormalities outside. Your back rested firmly against the door keeping the hostages inside, and your fingers were gripping at the rifle between your hands. Arthur, Dutch and Bill were working the bank manager inside the vault at that point. Now you only had to wait …

But it was taking too long. 

The heel of your foot bounced restlessly as you waited. By the time Arthur had managed to finally open the first safe, John’s voice rang out across the room from the entrance. “We got trouble! Looks like the law!”. You cursed under your breath as your eyes narrowed, trying to get a good look through the window from where you were standing on the opposite end of the space. John’s tone only grew more urgent as he took another look. “Think we got a problem out here!”, he insisted once more.

Dutch called for Arthur to follow, and as the rest closed in on the windows, you carefully made your way forward too, stopping when you reached a little round table in view of the glass separating you from lawmen and pinkertons alike. Shit .

Your brows knit and your grip steeled when you heard Milton’s jarring voice. However it was when you heard Dutch mutter Hosea’s name and John’s concerned voice that your stomach dropped, “Shit, Abigail…”. You couldn’t see them from your spot by the table, and so you switched between eyeing Arthur and Dutch across the room, and the lawmen outside the windows closest to you, every fibre in your being on edge, mind desperately trying to keep yourself prepared for whatever outcome this would have. 

“Dutch! Get out here!”

“Someone must’ve squealed”, Dutch insisted lowly, looking towards John, however John immediately countered him.

“We never should’ve gone after Bronte, Dutch”.

“Mister Milton!”, Dutch yelled from the cover of the wall by one of the windows. “Let my friend go… Or folks… they are gonna get shot unnecessarily!”

“Your friend? Hah, why would I do that?”

“Come on, Milton”. Dutch’s hand twitched, and he looked to be desperately thinking of a way to convince him. 

“It’s over. No more bargains. No more deals.”, Milton said finally. You adjusted yourself slowly, to where you could just about sneak a peek through the open doors Lenny and John hid behind. There you saw him. Hosea with Milton’s gun aimed at the back of his head. 

“Mister Milton, this is America. You can always cut a deal”, Dutch’s insistent tone was back now.

“I’ve given you enough chances…”. Milton pushed Hosea harshly, making him stumble a few steps ahead, right out of viewpoint from your little roundtable. Your body jolted as you heard the shot and Hosea’s cries, Milton’s finger pulling snuggly at the trigger. Your eyes widened at the pained exclaims from Arthur and Dutch, them and Micah the only ones in full view of what just happened. “There’s your deal, Dutch”, Milton continued, and you felt your stunned body take half an involuntary step away from the table, as if to go right outside to check on Hosea yourself, however a hand wrapped itself around your wrist, and your wide blown eyes found Javier’s furrowed ones. Silently he pulled you down, and it was as if the careful motion physically pulled you out of the shock that had paralysed your senses. You were far from this being over, far from any notion of safety. You forced yourself to stay level headed. For all you knew Hosea could still be alright… Right ? You just had to find some way out of this, like you always do.

Crouched behind the table you attentively watched Dutch for any sign of your next move, his face contorted into one of pain, anger and bewilderment all at the same time. “Hosea…”, he spoke under his breath, staring at nothing until the emptiness in his eyes turned into something with a determined presence. “Hosea! Goddamn it, kill those bastards!”. The frame shattered with a jarring sound as his pistol made contact with the glass, and almost instantly bullets rained all around you. 

John and Lenny quickly shut the entrance, shooting from the shattered windows once adorning the grand wooden doors. “Where is Abigail?!”, John yelled, Arthur made his way across the room to the windows you and Javier were currently shooting out of from your cover behind the table.

“How the hell do I know?”. His voice grumbled with a fierce edge to it. “Throw every goddamn bullet we got!”. You fired your rifle every chance you got, interchanging between crouching behind your cover and getting up to your feet. Though it seemed for each person that dropped dead, two more appeared out of thin air. The sheer despair taking a hold of the lot of you was so profound you could grab onto it. You wished to reach for it and choke it, to remove it from the atmosphere and allow you all to leave unscathed. However even Dutch seemed to grasp at straws, Arthur’s demands for some sort of retaliation or simply an escape plan met only by uncertainty. “Just keep shooting! I need time to think!”. 

“Shit, I’m out of ammunition!”, Lenny cursed at his revolver. Your gaze snapped to the door he stood by, remembering the pistol laying by the unconcious guard's side.

“Lenny!”. His eyes found yours just in time to see the rifle fly towards him, catching it clumsily. You crouched back down, turning towards the back of the room.

“What are you doing?”, Javier near hissed, however you ignored him as you quickly set off towards the guard, rounding the back of the bank counter with your head and torso as low as you could get them. 

“Arthur, are you still alive?”, Dutch called out from the middle of the counter, looking around for the man in question.

“Just about!”, Arthur replied from somewhere, the relentless fires exchanged from both sides drowning out most noise. You reached the man, your fingers making contact with the cool metal of his pistol. You quickly checked the magazine. Only one bullet was missing, good. “For christ sake, Arthur! Get over here!”.

You were close to the window Dutch had been at previously, sneaking up to the wall to exchange a few shots before moving back to your cover at the table, however the sight you were met with made your insides coil up and your heart sink so heavily you thought you were about to hurl it back up through your mouth. Hosea curled up on the dirt road, blood pooling around where there was a hole in the top of his chest. You could scarcely believe your eyes. He had been there that very morning, giving your shoulder in a reassuring squeeze, telling you to make sure you stayed vigilant and safe. That by nightfall you’d all be packing up camp to leave this godforsaken county, and that the next round of drinks for everyone would be on him. But there he was… still as the granite statues adorning the city’s graveyard. 

“Hosea… He isn’t moving!”. The words came out on pure instinct. As if somehow uttering them out loud would give someone a chance to do something about it. Or maybe you were just hoping one of them would tell you you were wrong. That your mind was playing tricks. That he was still breathing .

“Of course he ain’t, he’s dead!”. You glared in Micah’s direction, your back pressed tightly against the wall underneath the windows. You had to get away from there. There was no way you could bear to witness the sight again when you next had to get up to shoot at the apparently endless amount of lawmen swarming around the building.

“Set it up by the wall!”, Dutch instructed Arthur to get on with something you missed entirely, swiftly finding your way back to the table where Javier still fired from. 

“This is worse than Blackwater!”, Micah groaned, not even the bullets capable of drowning out his grating tone. He hadn’t even needed to say the words, you were all thinking it. 

“Get behind something!”, Dutch yelled, and you caught Arthur running to cover behind the counter. Instinctively you braced yourself, only mere moments after the building shook as the explosives tore a hole through the exterior wall on the other side of the area you found yourself in. “Everybody, out!”.

Javier didn’t waste even a second pulling you up to your feet, and you both rounded the corner to face a gaping hole. “Wait”, you told him, reaching for the knife attached to his gun belt, slicing a considerable line through the top of your skirt. The tear only opened wider as you pulled on it, stepping out of the fabric now pooling on the floor. Placing the knife back in its spot you continued, hurriedly following Arthur, Bill and Charles as they climbed up a ladder of the neighbouring building. 

Things only seemed to worsen from then on. You had made it out of the building, sure, however reinforcement didn’t dwindle down despite the many lawmen whose blood was currently painting the cobblestoned street red. Arthur made swift work of the cursed gatling guns, thank god, and all made it up the ladder at last. Well, all except John… 

“What happened?”, Arthur inquired insistently as soon as Lenny and Dutch stepped onto the rooftop. 

“We lost John”

“Killed?”

“Arrested… I couldn't help”, Dutch sighed, and Arthur seemed as lost for words as you felt. 

“Well we better go or we’ll be next”, Arthur eventually said, hand propped on his hips as he shook his head. Lenny crouched down next to you, eyes scanning you for any visible injuries. He seemed to relax a bit when he found none. 

“You alright?”, he eventually asked you between the bullets whooshing past. 

“No”, you answered in earnest, and he let out a huff accompanied by a forlorn smile. This was too familiar in the worst possible ways.

“Me either”, he replied, and you exchanged a knowing look. This was all too much like last time . It wasn’t supposed to go this way.

“What you think?”. Arthur only looked at Dutch for a moment, deep in thought, before he started looking around. 

“I… I reckon me and Lenny try and find a way across the roofs, so if you’ll cover us”. Lenny looked up at him at that before turning his head back to you.

“Sure, sure.. Go on!”, Dutch promptly complied, and Arthur motioned for Lenny to get up. You felt Lenny’s hand in yours before you registered his movements, and he yanked you up with him as he picked up the pace. “Come on!”.

“You can’t die like her ”, was all he said when you uttered his name in confusion. You both moved faster than Arthur, Lenny’s determined hand dragging you along his pace. Once you jumped over the small half brick wall separating the two buildings, Lenny turned his head to look in Arthur’s direction. “We can get across here!”. What occured next happened in an instant.

Ahead of you a door opened, and you spotted the man quicker than you could really process his presence. Reflexes earned from years being a part of this gang led your hand still clutching the gun to raise itself despite your mind still catching up. There was no time for warnings, only action. Finger pulled the trigger, however a sharp agonising ache shooting through your hand the very next second made you drop the pistol instantaneously. You cried out in pain. The man you shot at was indeed dead on the ground, a bullet shaped hole piercing his now bloody flesh, but he wasn’t alone .

Lenny had just managed to turn back around when the other man fired once more.

“No!”, Arthur roared out from behind you. Lenny, still grasping your hand, pulled you down with him as he collapsed to the ground. You fell to your knees, three shots ringing out from above you as Arthur shot the man still standing at the door good and dead. 

“Lenny!”, you reached for his face, bloodied hands painting his cheeks. Whatever throbbing pain you had felt before was immediately dulled by the shock and you could not tell if the blood was yours or his…

Your eyes desperately searched for life in his brown ones staring back at you, but it felt like looking into a stranger's eyes. It lacked the usual warmth and comforting presence that radiated from Lenny’s gaze. “Lenny, we need to keep moving”, you pleaded, voice weak. He didn’t respond, and you watched as his eyelids fluttered ever so slightly before he completely stilled. “ Please ”.

Arthur had finally caught up now, kneeling beside you. “He’s dead”. He sounded utterly distraught, voice loud enough for the rest to hear. 

“Oh God, no!”, you heard Dutch yammer further away, though you could not bring yourself to look away from your friend’s face carefully clutched between your hands. Charles reached out towards him for just a moment, before taking a deep breath and moving on ahead. “There’s nothing we can do, we gotta keep moving!”, Dutch then proceeded to say, Micah and Bill running straight past you with great speed. Dutch passed next, sparing a short glance Lenny’s way.

You felt paralysed once more, body unwilling to part with the fading warmth of his skin. It wasn’t supposed to go this way.  

Dutch only stopped when he noticed the pair of you staying put. “Let’s go!”. Javier knelt beside you, looking over Lenny’s body with a pained expression, before redirecting that attention to you. He spoke your name.

“Come on, querida, we gotta move”, he insisted, tone more urgent than you’ve ever heard him sound before, grabbing you by the shoulders as if to shake you out of your frozen state. You yammered quietly as he pulled you up, dragging you along, and you winced audibly when he grabbed your injured hand, looking back at your dear friend one last time. 

“Watch out ahead!”, Javier warned you, forcing your attention back towards where you were headed. A considerable gap between your rooftop and the next was approaching, and he let go of your hand as he made the jump, landing harshly atop the slanted roof tiles. Getting back to his feet he turned back to you. “Jump, I got you”, he promised. His arms were outstretched, ready to catch if needed, and you accelerated before leaping off the edge, feeling the air caress your skin before hitting the tiles hard. The force sent you tumbling forward slightly, however Javier was ready for you, arms wrapped around you before your knees could hit the ground. 

“Arthur, we need to move!”, Dutch continued to press, hesitating by the verge of the rooftop still. It seemed this time Arthur finally obeyed, and Dutch turned to make the jump. You straightened up quickly, dropping yourself down the small incline to join Charles and the others taking cover from any prying eyes in the alleys below. 

Once everyone had caught up you moved in synchronised urgency, until you finally found a spot Dutch deemed safe enough to enter. You barricaded yourselves inside a dusty room of crates and old furniture. 

You slumped down on the floor, back hitting the wall with an uncomfortable thud. You brought your legs up to your chest, you chin resting atop your knees. The others were rambling on, arguing about where the fault lied or who to blame, and what course to take next. However, your lips remained sealed, and your eyes stayed glued on the floorboards, only moving to observe your bloodied hands. 

You couldn’t help the slight tremble. Hiding your face in your forearm you let the tears stream freely, only the softest of muffled gasps could be heard every now and then. 

“-we leave… we lie low … we come back for the rest in a few weeks”, you tuned back in to what Dutch was saying, face remained hidden. He’d been talking about leaving- something about boats. Arthur let out a long sigh.

“I’m guessing it’s that… or we die out there right now”

“Exactly!”. You felt the floorboards shake slightly as Dutch got up to his feet. "Now everybody… calm down ”. Authority was back in his voice now, tone insistent. It even managed to pull your face up from its hiding place, tear stained cheeks slowly drying up at the contact with the air in the room. Dutch and Arthur found their seats once more, and from the corner of your eye you saw Javier moving towards you. 

No one in the room said a word, not even Javier as he took a seat next to you. What was there to say really, after what had just transpired. It was almost impossible to grasp how two of you who were just there that very morning were with you no longer. You would never lay eyes on them again.

The adrenaline trickled away in the same fashion as your calmed tears, and you could now feel the sting return to your hand. Hissing slightly you lifted it up to inspect it, finally noticing that the blood covering it was not only from Lenny, but your own oozing out of a wound piercing straight through your palm.

“Shit, you’re hurt”, Javier broke the silence with a hushed voice after quietly observing your inquisitive motion. Carefully he reached for your wrist, bringing it closer to him. You had very little in means of first aid available in your current predicament, so after a moment of contemplation he reached for his necktie and tied it snugly around your hand. His hand moved to support yours, and his touch lingered there, featherlight, wanting to help you properly but could do nothing more but this simple gesture. The sting turned to a throbbing ache, yet you kept your hand there, and even closed your fingers around his, ignoring the pain the action caused. Gaze remaining on where you now linked, you let your head fall to the side, your cheek resting atop his shoulder. There really was nothing more to say, no words justified the worth of uttering them. So you just waited, feeling the silence. Taking in the pain that accompanied it, letting it cloak you. It wasn’t supposed to go this way…

~

The escape from your hideout to the ship had been a close call, only Charles’ possible sacrifice saved you all. Hence, now under the glaring sun, far out into open sea with only salty water stretching towards every horizon, you prayed he had made it back to the others unscathed.  

“What are we gonna do in Cuba, Dutch?”, Bill asked curiously. 

“Hold up for a while, then hurry back and gather the rest of our family”. The cigarette clutched between Dutch’s fingers swayed comfortably as he answered matter-of-factly. Him and Bill were leaning against the railing of the ship next to you. Your arms rested atop it, your chin propped up on top of them while you stared at the way the water hit the side of the boat beneath you. The breeze flowed through your hair, stray pieces hitting your face from time to time. The air smelled heavily of the salty ocean surrounding you. “At least we got some money now. Money and loyalty . With that you can do whatever you please”.

“So you reckon they’ll follow us to Cuba?”

“Like Colonel Waxman on a jolly? I highly doubt it, Bill”, Dutch answered with assured ease. “I reckon we hold ourselves to ourselves, and this is done and dusted”.

“Let’s hope so..”, you finally spoke, gaze not moving from the crashing waves. 

“I ain’t no sailor but uh-”, Micah cleared his throat from where he was leaning against a barrel. “-those clouds look like good news to you?”. At that you finally looked up, spotting dark clouds closing in in the distance, cloaking the water beneath it in an intense shadow. 

“Let’s count on the captain knowing what he’s doing”, Arthur shrugged from his seat next to Javier. 

The lot of you then put the alarmingly dark clouds to the back of your minds, night falling upon you as you found your way to the small bunk at the bottom of the ship that the goldbar Dutch had offered the captain earned you. The bunk beds were crammed in there, and by no means comfortable, but they did the job and you knew when not to be ungrateful. At least being able to walk around freely on the ship and to have an enclosed room at night was better than remaining hidden within the tight spaces of the crates as you did when you first boarded the ship two days ago.

The rocking of the ship had been surprisingly comfortable at night, lulling you into slumber that was sometimes peaceful and other times plagued by vivid dreams of death and regret. This night however, the rocking was everything but comfortable. The waves crashed against the metal of the ship with such intensity, you were certain it might punch a hole straight through if it kept happening. The ship swayed back and forth fiercely, and if it wasn’t for Javier’s arm around you acting as an anchor, you would’ve long since rolled straight out of your bunk.

Eventually sleep managed to take you… only to be woken up by Dutch’s panicked orders. 

“Wake up!”

Your eyes shot open at once.

“Everybody, wake up! Wake up!”

You looked around, the men groaning at the disturbance. You needed only take one look at Dutch’s expression to understand the gravity of whatever was happening. Immediately you turned to Javier, shaking him awake. 

The others slid out of their beds, Bill headed straight for the ladder despite the confused looks he sent Dutch’s way. Arthur however seemed to struggle regaining full consciousness, eyes heavy with much needed sleep. “Come on, Arthur!”. You and Javier followed suit, Javier toppling over as he got off the bunk. 

“Why, what’s going on?”, Arthur now awake, asked in a hazed confusion. You helped Javier back to his feet, holding onto the frame of the bed to keep yourself upright. 

“I don’t know but we are getting off this boat! You come on!”. Dutch yanked Arthur up, done waiting for him to come to his senses. As Arthur made his way towards the ladder he began coughing, breaths hoarse and quick as if he couldn’t catch his breath properly. “Get a move on your sleepy bastards!”, Dutch yelled, and Micah pushed his way in front of you to climb the steel ladder. 

“Go on”, Javier ushered you to go next, however you hesitated as Arthur’s increasingly powerful coughing fit ensued. He held onto the bunk frame, knuckles white, knees buckling beneath him.

“Arthur-”, you immediately walked over to grab his arm. 

“I need a second-”, he wheezed as he took a desperate gasp of air. Behind you you heard Javier speak your name urgently.

“Go, I’ll be right behind you!”, you quickly assured him, turning your gaze to look at him. He hesitated, not breaking eye contact.

“Come on, Javier, move!”, Dutch then grabbed him, pushing him towards the ladder. And so he climbed with Dutch following close behind. You put Arthur’s arm over your shoulders, supporting him the best you could to the other end of the small cabin. 

“Jesus”, Arthur muttered hoarsely as the coughing calmed just a little, enough to where he could support himself. “You go first”. He motioned with his arm for you to climb, and you grabbed onto the cool steel as you made your way up. Arthur ascended the steps as soon as you stepped foot onto the next floor, and you both braced yourselves against the closest wall as another big wave tossed the ship sideways. It stayed that way for what was longer than normal, and you forced yourselves to walk forward, struggling against the force of gravity. 

Javier and Dutch waited for you both at the end of the hall, visibly relieved when they spotted the pair of you. “We need to reach the lifebo-”. Another crashing wave cut Dutch off, his voice drowned out by the sound of crates and coffers falling out of their secure bindings. Arthur yanked you backwards, the heavy load just missing trapping you beneath their crushing weight. The lot of you took a second to catch your breaths, eyes scanning the blockade now separating you. Javier called out on the other side, only a small hole allowing you to peer through. 

“Javier”. You got back on your feet, holding out a hand for Arthur to take. 

“Dutch!”, Arthur grumbled through a strained cough. 

“I’m okay!”, Dutch assured him. The intense alarm bell ringing in the distance was relentless, and the rocky waves didn’t let up for even a moment.  Javier walked up to the hole, trying to move the crates he already knew were too heavy. But he had to try . You met him there, reaching a hand through to stop his efforts. 

“Go on with Dutch, Javi, Arthur and I will find another way”. Dutch cursed in the background, but your eyes remained only on Javier. He looked at you, the cogs in his brain working overtime trying to come up with something, anything , that didn’t entail having to split up. But there was no more time. Javier reached for your hand. You gave Dutch a look, and the man walked over to grab a firm hold of Javier’s shoulders.

“Come on son, let’s go”. He was yanked away from the hole, from your grasp, and immediately you turned on your heels to meet Arthur. 

“I reckon we try that way”, he pointed towards a tiny corridor back the way you came from. You only nodded before you both set off, fighting to stay upright through the small space and the swaying of the boat that made it tilt almost completely sideways at times. Eventually you found a set of stairs leading to a door, and you thanked everything holy that it was unlocked. 

Arthur opened it with much force, and it swung wide open. Instantly you were hit with salt water spraying from the waves, and the powerful winds causing the unrest of the waters. The rain poured down, only illuminated by the deafening thunder and lightning, and the orange hue of a fire that had started spreading across the upper deck.

The crew were screaming in terror, and you could hardly see anything as the forces of nature hit your struggling eyes with much ferocity. Arthur took a step outside, and you followed close behind, grabbing onto the railing for dear life. You could faintly spot something in the water a small distance from the tilting ship. “Hey! ”, Arthur called out, waving his arms. Bill and Dutch called his name, and you realised they had all made it into a small life boat. A lifeboat that was currently drifting further and further away from you. “ Dutch!”, Arthur yelled with all his might, and you faintly heard your own name being called over the bell ringing closeby. 

You both watched them fade away between the giant waves, realising there was no reaching them. An oil lamp exploded near you, spreading the raging fire further. You shielded your eyes from the blast, looking towards Arthur who met your desperate gaze with one that mirrored it. The ship was nearly fully tilted now, and you had only mere moments until it would be swallowed by the vast ocean. Taking a breath you placed a foot atop the now slanted railing, reaching out to grab Arthur’s hand. He matched your determined demeanour as he did the same. Desperate screams as the ones still remaining on the boat either got engulfed in the flames or fell off the ship filled your ears. You waited until the boat steadied just enough before squeezing his hand. “Now!”.

You took the leap. 

Powerful underwater currents pulled you in every direction, and instantly you lost the grip of Arthur’s warm hand. The salt stung your eyes and the waves confused your senses; you had no idea which way was up or down.

Muffled sounds were all you heard as nothingness engulfed you. It was so very dark.

Chapter Text

It had been days . Days without any notion or sign of either you or Arthur. Javier had not known a second of relief since the crates fell over onboard the ship. Since telling the others on the lifeboat to help him in his struggle against the crashing waves to turn the boat around. Since calling your name until his voice went hoarse and throat sore while watching your form turn smaller and smaller from the ever growing distance. Utterly helpless.

Days on this godforsaken island. Guarma , as some locals they had met had informed him it was called. An old sugar plantation island, the second island east of where their ship was originally headed. The intense heat of the Cuban sun would’ve left him scorched if not for his exposure to such rays in his own upbringing back home. The same could not be said for his fellow shipwreck survivors, their skin as red and burnt as their will to move from the little camp they had set up in the comforting shade of some high rocks by the beach. And so there they stayed. 

Javier allowed himself to look for you, as far as his eyes could reach, ignoring the ache in his heart whenever night fell upon them and he had once again seen no sight of you. Something within him knew it was foolish to hope. They had been in a lifeboat and almost hadn’t made it themselves because of the violent waves for god's sake. Still, he swallowed that lump, only sleeping a few hours at night before his sore eyes would open once more, instant in their search for you somewhere along the coastline.

And so when Arthur’s weak call for Dutch pierced his ears, his heart nearly jumped out of his chest. There he was, close to passing out atop the sandy beach. And if he was here, wouldn’t that mean you would be too?

“You’re alive… Arthur! You’re… you’re alive!”, Dutch exclaimed in sheer disbelief, matching the surprise of the rest of them as they all got up to their feet, stumbling over to meet their friend. They surrounded him, supporting his trembling form as they exchanged astounded laughter at his miraculous survival. “This is a miracle! Get this man something to drink!”, Dutch ordered over Arthur’s coughs, and Bill quickly retrieved the water canteen that was starting to run alarmingly low. Though overjoyed from seeing his friend alive and, well, not exactly well , Javier couldn’t help his heart from sinking as he looked in the direction Arthur had stumbled in from. That foolish hope had once again blossomed in his chest, mind betraying him by picturing you walking on after him, but he came alone. Only Arthur’s footsteps could be traced with the naked eye for miles over the wet sand. And Javier knew if you had been with him there was no way he would’ve ever left you behind. Which could only mean the two of you had gotten separated after jumping into the vast, deep ocean. 

The question on his heart got stuck in his throat, and he watched as they helped him back up to the small fire that was still crackling. The blooming hope turned rotten as the leaves wilted, making way for the ache once more. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it up. Perhaps this time his hope had died for good, the petals forever discoloured. Forever changed, turning to dust under the crushing grip of reality taking a hold of him. 

If only he had forced you to go on ahead. If he hadn’t hesitated, or if he had helped Arthur instead, you would’ve made it to the lifeboat. You would’ve been here , alive. Maybe you would’ve been the one looking for him the same way he was desperately searching for you. Maybe you would’ve been subjected to that same suffocating, allconsuming anguish, but at least you would’ve been alive.

So when they were rounded up by some military men, and Javier later laid on the ground writhing in pain as he clung to his bleeding leg, he called for the others to run. To leave him there as reinforcements closed in. He would not hold anyone else back. No one else would die from the efforts of trying to save him. “Don’t lose faith son! We’ll find you!”, he could faintly hear Dutch promise him, though the assuring words didn’t comfort him the way they usually would. How could he believe in the impossible anymore? The reinforcements caught up to him, a range of rifles pointed at him as they surrounded him. No, this had to be it for him. All that was left for him was to make sure his surrender didn’t put the others in danger. He could only regret with a painful throb of his heart that matched the pulsing wound of his leg that he hadn’t been able to give you that way out before your selflessness had become your undoing.

~

“You keep killing folk, Dutch”, Arthur gave him a pointed look, eyes narrowing. On the ground next to him the old Guarman woman laid dead. Dutch paused his motion to climb up the wooden ladder, instead turning towards Arthur slowly. His face was stern, brows furrowed as he considered Arthur with unimpressed eyes.

“I’m just trying to make sure that we survive, Arthur ”

Arthur huffed at that. “Like Hosea, or Lenny? Or-”. As Arthur followed up with your name, Dutch’s eyes narrowed even further.

“Now-”, he barked lowly, cutting Arthur off instantly. There was a definite authority in his tone. A warning to not press the matter further. Arthur could only look at him with a mix of confusion and unease, however his lips remained sealed. Dutch seemed content at that. “ Shall we proceed? ”, he asked pointedly. 

Arthur remained in his spot for a lingering moment, before taking a few testing steps forward. “I guess”, he finally spoke once he grabbed a hold of the ladder.

“Listen.. son”, Dutch cleared his throat upon following Arthur up the wooden steps. His tone had lost that alarming edge, back to its determined nature. “You think I want any of this?”

“I don’t know”, Arthur said in earnest.

“Of course I don't”, Dutch insisted in an instant. “But I made a pledge to you all. We would survive. No matter what ”. He pointed towards a stone wall, the pair taking cover while looking out for any sign of Javier at the Aguadulces; Fussar’s compound. 

“So how did you know she was gonna betray us? What she say?”

“It was in her eyes, and the way she was leading us”, Dutch answered certain.

“But you said you knew spanish”, Arthur’s brows furrowed.

“I know human beings, Arthur”

Arthur shook his head slightly to himself with a huff, conflicted or simply just fed up. “Are you gonna strangle me next?”

“I’m doing the best I can-”. Before Arthur had the chance to question him further, voices from across the compound claimed their attention. 

Soldiers laughed as they circled around Javier being pulled by his bad leg behind a donkey over the uneven ground. 

“But my friend! I do not understand, who are you?”, one of the men dressed too finely to simply be one of the soldiers proclaimed loudly. Even from their spot across the grounds, they could hear the pain in Javier’s voice.

“I come from Mexico, I never met those men!”

“Does anyone believe him?”, the man who Arthur had to assume was Fussar asked loudly once more, receiving a choir of amused no’s in return. “Mister Simon doesn’t believe you… even the mule doesn’t believe you!”, he chuckled at his own joke as he nodded toward the donkey, earning yet another round of laughter from his men. Levi Simon whistled for the mule to stop, slapping Javier harshly across his face the second the animal came to a halt. Javier yammered in more pain. 

Fussar took a step closer, any trace of his previous ‘playful’ demeanour as if wiped clean off him. “ Eso no fue fuerte, así que deja de actuar… ”. Javier was still trying to collect himself as Fussar spoke to him, hand to his aching face as if it would dull the pain faster. “ Sabemos que nos tu bastante fuerte”

Javier huffed through his prickling discomfort. “ Fue bastante duro.. ”.

Fussar laughed condescendingly as he crouched slightly. “ No… La próxima vez será aún más duro ”. The soldier’s expressed noises of anticipative amusement at Javier's expense, and he looked at them from his helpless position on the ground trying to keep his composure. “ Bueno, ha sido un placer” , Fussar straightened himself up, throwing his bottle harshly, the firm glass crashing against Javier’s ribs. Simon whistled for the Donkey and they moved once again. “ Siempre me encantaron los mexicanos” . That sickening ‘playfulness’ was back in his voice now as he moved towards the main building, leaving the men to deal with Javier in whatever way they deemed fit before disappearing inside the vast doors.

Dutch and Arthur exchanged disturbed looks as Javier clung to his injured leg in pure agony, getting no relief from the way the noose around his ankle pulled him along the muddied dirt ground. “I have had enough of this”, Dutch grumbled under his breath, motioning for Arthur to follow him.

~

Despite finally being rid of the rope and the donkey accompanying it, being locked inside the cage did Javier no better. His wound was still bleeding, now muddied up from being dragged across gravel and harsh terrain for god knows how long. If it wasn’t for the intense pain pulsing from his injury, he would’ve felt the cuts and bruises on his back a lot clearer. He tried to apply pressure on his leg, but found it harder and harder to put in the effort. Two guards stood by his cage, throwing insults at him. Hoping to break him and make him talk. To agitate him. Give him a reason to act out so they could punish him accordingly. Not that they really needed a reason, but it was all a game to them… Every time Javier became too still for their liking, they shoved and poked at him with their weapons, mocking his cries of discomfort. He almost didn’t catch the change in the rest of the soldiers’ demeanour as he concentrated on his trembling hands upon his bleeding flesh. 

High pitched whistles and small excited exclaims erupted from a few of them. “ Por fin estás aquí ”, one called out to a group appearing by the stone fenced entrance to the compound.

“ Claro… Este nos estaba causando algunos problemas ”, the guard pulled you close to him by a forceful grab at your chin, his face contorted into a disgusting grin. “Didn’t you, hermosa ?”. You flinched, trying to pull away as best you could, but your efforts fell short in his iron grasp. Your body still hadn’t really recovered from your fight against the ocean, and by the time the soldiers had found you washed ashore, you used up the last of your energy to try to fight them off. For a mere moment it had seemed like you would’ve been able to slip away and disappear into the tropical jungle, if not for one of the three soldiers just managing to reach for his rifle and smacking you in the head with it. 

You swallowed the urge to attempt another escape. Anyone could see it would be in vain surrounded by armed men watching your every move with an uncomfortably keen interest. The guard still close to your face had red marks on his cheeks and throat from where you had fought yourself free of him before. The ties around your wrist behind your back prohibited a repeat of such an act, and he knew it. Reveled in it .

The surrounding men laughed, entertained by your struggle. “Put her inside the free cage, we need Fussar for this one. He’ll want to oversee this personally ”. The guard that had greeted you spoke in your tongue to make sure you understood him. Your frown turned into a thin, tight line as you forced your gaze away from his sneering face. He chuckled at that, however to your short lived relief did not utter another word as he forcefully led you towards the cage.

From within his own confinement, Javier was almost certain his mind was playing tricks on him. He’d spent the last, god knows how many days, hoping, praying, yearning to see your face appear. To know you made it out of the ocean just fine. To know that you were alive. His hazed mind from the searing pain coursing through his body must be torturing him worse than his captors if it was truly making him hallucinate your presence in this wretched place. 

He had to restrain himself from calling your name when he finally concluded it was in fact you, in case it would worsen your already poor treatment. He had to stick with the story he had already given them, lest he put everyone he cares about in danger. You most of all. He came here alone . He did not know the Americans. Though his heart was filled with such relief upon facing you it was almost painful, adding to the already harrowing hurt coursing through him. He felt himself grow weaker and weaker for each minute his wound was left open and untreated. They flung you into the cage posted next to his, and you hit your head on the metal bars, unable to catch yourself due to your restrained arms. You looked weak too, in spirit as well as your physical state. Your pants had rifts in them and your shirt was missing buttons and torn halfway at the sleeves. Much like his own attire, yours were coloured by dust and dirt, your hair unkempt and tousled from the many struggles you had faced. A part of your jaw was bruised, and there was a notable cut across your delicate lips.

“ ¿Qué es esto? ¿Eh? ¿El mono dejó de bailar? ”, one of the soldiers posted at Javier’s cage noted the change in him, and dug the barrel of his rifle into his injured leg. Javier cried out in pain, writhing in his spot. 

Having just been forcefully pushed into the cage, all notion of disorientation left your mind as you heard his cries. Instantly you turned towards the sound, heart beating impossibly faster at the same time as it dropped to your stomach. He was here . You shouldn’t even have been relieved because of the dire circumstances you were both in, but you were .

The other guard posted by the cages noticed your reaction to Javier hurting, and lifted an inquisitive brow. In a single stride he made it over to you, crouching down to grab your hair by the roots at the back of your head. His grip was locked as tight as his control over your movements. “ Estás preocupada ¿Eh, linda? ¿Por qué? ”. Your chest rose up and down harshly as your breathing became laboured. Your eyes flickered between the soldier from the corner of your eyes and the brown ones inside the other cage that you loved so dearly. “ ¿Lo conoces? ”. Upon receiving no answer from you he pushed your head forward, your face pressed uncomfortably against the bars of your cage, having no choice but to stare directly at Javier. “You know him?”, he asked again, this time in english. You saw the warning in Javier’s eyes.

“N-no”, you struggled to say against the metal, trying to keep yourself as neutral as possible. From outside of your line of sight, the soldier motioned for the other to repeat his earlier offense, the man not hesitating to shove his rifle deeper into Javier’s leg. He cried out once more, and you suppressed the horror you felt watching him in such agonising pain, eyes twitching slightly. 

“ Cabrón ”, Javier muttered strained, the word muffled slightly as he kept his lips tight. He gasped for air the second the guard relieved some of the pressure. However it wasn’t long before Javier cried out once again. 

“ ¡Vamos! ¡Baila!” , they laughed in unison. Javier hissed sharply, body twitching. Beads of sweat ran down his face, and you could’ve sworn he went limp for just a moment. Javier grew quieter the longer this went on. The soldiers repeated it a couple times more until they seemingly grew bored with the lack of response from you both.

Finally he let go of you, and the pair of them took a few steps away with their backs turned to the cages to catch up on some entirely unrelated matters of conversation. Carefree, like they hadn’t just tortured a man close to unconsciousness. 

Scooting closer to the bars once again, you whispered desperately, though quiet enough to be ignored by the preoccupied soldiers. “Javier”. You never thought you would ever see him again. He hushed you softly, giving you a look that told you he had been thinking the same thing. “Did the others make it? Are they also on the island?”, you spoke, barely audibly. 

“Sí, they’re somewhere, we got split up”. Your immediate relief faded somewhat upon assessing the state of him now. He was actively bleeding from an open gunshot wound to his leg, the rest of him completely disheveled, dirt and grime adorning his clothes and skin, while fresh scrapes could be seen on the back of his arms and neck. Your immediate instinct was to reach over and help him, but the restraint from your ropes reminded you of your predicament. You could do nothing but watch him as the haze in his eyes grew stronger by the minute. “ Mi cielo… ”

“Please, Javier, just… just hold on as long as you can ”, you whispered in quiet desperation, trying to sound reassuring. “I’ll… I’ll think of something”. But what could you possibly do from in here with your hands tied? You looked around for anything that could help. Anything at all. Javier, however, didn't look away from you for even a moment. He started feeling too faint to speak, rather settling on anchoring his focus on you as he clung to his last remaining piece of consciousness. 

A great force washed over you all, the ground shaking violently and your ears ringing upon one of the buildings close to you blowing up seemingly out of nowhere. You coughed as the dust settled, watching as all the guards still remaining ran over to the ruins now in flames. Confused, you turned back to Javier, as if to get some clarity. But the eyes staring back at you struggled to remain open. You felt the panic grab a squeezing hold of your heart, wrist wrestling against the tough rope gnawing at your flesh as you tried to free yourself. Once again you looked around. If only you could find something sharp enough…

Attentive eyes caught movement closing in from behind your cage, and what you saw was close to knocking the breath straight out of you. 

“Arthur, Dutch-”, you spoke in disbelief, and the pair in turn looked positively dumbfounded upon laying eyes on you. 

“Am I glad to see you”, Javier managed to speak relieved as Dutch fired at the lock on his cage and then your own. Arthur spoke your name like he couldn’t believe it was really you, kneeling down to cut the ropes behind your back. Quickly he looked over you, noting no major injuries.

“You always find a way out, don’t you?”

“Well I learned from the best, didn’t I”, you retorted with quick wit as he helped you back up from the ground. You rubbed at your sore wrists, skin raw and irritated.

Arthur placed his hand on your back, handing you a spare pistol with the other. “Maybe so. Don’t hold back now”, he ordered as the guards finally noticed the ongoing escape plan. Arthur took cover by one of the half-walls, firing at any soldiers getting too close. 

You covered Dutch as he moved Javier behind another half-wall. Javier yammered at the rough movements. “It’s gonna be alright, son”. He joined Arthur further down while you took cover by Javier, eyes peeled, aiming at anyone coming in from the sides while the others concentrated on the group up front.

Your brows furrowed further as Javier’s already uneven gasps for air turned weaker. “Hold on”, you reached for his cheek in a moment of respite, in a moment of vulnerability. He tried to reach for your hand, though he couldn’t quite get there. You fired some more rounds, taking in a sharp breath as you dodged a bullet that got too close for comfort.

“Dutch!”, you called out upon seeing the way Javier’s head started swaying slightly from side to side, like he was fighting to keep it upright.

“I’ll grab Javier! You shoot us some space, Arthur”

Dutch regrouped with you, and bent down to hoist Javier over his shoulder with a grunt. This time Javier didn’t even utter a noise of discomfort, and your stomach dropped.

“Javier-”, you turned his face from where it hung limp over Dutch’s back, seeking some sort of reaction or awareness… Nothing .

“We gotta move, Arthur!”, Dutch barked out, and you followed closely as he made way towards the sugar cane fields. You covered him as best you could, swapping your pistol with a fallen soldier’s rifle once your magazine had emptied of the last of your bullets. 

It seemed endless, like time was moving fast and slow at the same time. It was crucial Javier was treated as soon as possible, but at every turn at least five new guards appeared. 

Finally making it to the other end of the fields, you made your way hurriedly down a steep slope leading to a body of water. “Let’s get across the river, we can hold them off from there!”, Dutch yelled out.

The water slowed your movements considerably as you caved your way across its stream. Finding coverage behind some trees, you took a moment to catch your breath.

“Is he okay?”, you asked Dutch as Arthur caught up with you, and you shot Javier’s limp body a worried glance. You couldn’t tell if his breathing was just too faint to see, or if it was nonexistent. 

“He’s passed out”, Dutch spoke troubled.

“Or dead…”, Arthur followed up, and you shot him a glare that turned frightened in a mere second. What if he was right? The mere thought left you lightheaded.

“Oh, he’ll be fine”, Dutch immediately assured you both. “We’ll get him out of here”, Dutch looked to you, before seeking out Arthur’s gaze. “You stay here, take care of these fools a bit”. Arthur nodded in understanding, and you looked between them perplexed. 

“Wait, alone? I can help”

Dutch walked over to grab your wrist. “You, my dear, look much more faint than you realise”. You met his eyes, brows quirked as you took a moment to assess. He was right. You never got the chance to truly regain your energy after everything your body has been put through these past few days, only able to hold your own thus far out of sheer willpower and adrenaline. However your reserves were quickly depleting. Almost instantly you felt your limbs grow heavy and weak, a numbing prickling sensation spreading across the palms of your hands. Arthur placed a hand on your back as if to usher you forward.

“It’s no problem, you two go, quick!”

And at that you defied your heavy limbs, making your way up and through the dense jungle vegetation, trusting Dutch to lead you where you needed to go.

Once you had put some distance between yourselves and the shooting, Dutch finally spoke again while you both continued trudging on ahead. “Oh am I glad you’re alright. We thought-”. He seemed hesitant to speak the words on his mind aloud. “-well we thought you didn’t wind up quite as lucky as old Arthur after jumping off that ship”.

“Until about half an hour ago I thought you guys didn’t end up so lucky”, you huffed with a weak smile, one that faltered rather quickly. “Tho after this ‘welcome’ I guess none of us did…”, you added, a bit more quietly.

“We still got each other, we will find a way”, he answered confidently. Something seemed to wash over him, and he paused in his tracks as a fierce expression took hold of his face. He turned to face you, placing his free hand firmly atop your upper arm, making sure you looked right back. “-I promise you”. You didn’t answer right away, only looking at him, brows furrowing slightly at the intensity of this oath he seemed to feel extra inclined to give you at this moment. He had a wild look to his eyes that you couldn’t quite shake.

“Yeah. Okay Dutch”, you eventually nodded as he looked to be awaiting your response. You weren’t sure what prompted such a proclamation. It was almost as if he was expecting you to start berating him or doubt his words. 

“Good… good ”, Dutch seemed to accept your answer, nodding to himself before motioning for you to keep up as he resumed his hurried pace. “Let’s get you two back to the safe hut”.

The furrowed brows remained as you followed him. Something was definitely off with him, in a way you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Maybe it was this place, this situation, but he seemed more neurotic than you’ve ever seen him be before… 

~

Back at the safe hut you helped Dutch lower Javier carefully to the ground behind the safety of a cornered stone wall. It was more like an old, tiny ruin than a hut, only small areas still sheltered by a roof. However the vegetation gave you shade from the sun, and you let out an exhausted breath. There was more to be done.

Bill and Micah were just as dumbfounded to see you return alongside Dutch, as he and Arthur had been to find you in the cage. They followed you over, watching a limp Javier on the ground. Somewhere along your voyage through the jungle, his breathing had picked back up again, though he remained unresponsive. 

“You okay?”, Dutch checked in once more as he straightened back up, and you gave him a nod.

“More or less”. At that he exhaled as well, stretching his back and rolling his shoulders. 

“Good. Once Arthur gets back we’ll regroup and figure out the next step”, Dutch explained somewhat tiredly, looking around himself while running a hand across his burnt face. “But first we gotta… we gotta get poor Javier back on his feet”. You looked back at Javier lying at your knees. 

“I’ll take care of it”. Without wasting any more time you tore off a bottom piece of fabric around the waist of your shirt. You reached for the bottle of alcohol Micah was about to take a swig off, ignoring his annoyed protest. “Do we have some water?”.

Bill fetched a small bucket. “Not sure it’s safe to drink”, he shrugged as he placed it next to you.

“I only need it to clean some of this muck off”, you spoke, though it came out in a mumble as you directed all your attention on his leg. 

“Give her some space, get back to your guard post. Arthur should be here any minute…”, Dutch then shooed the onlookers away, following them after placing a lingering hand atop your shoulder. Steadfast, despite your tired, shaking hands, you cleared the dirt, promptly using a healthy amount of the alcohol to disinfect the wound as best as you could. For only a moment you felt grateful for his unresponsive state. At least he was spared what would’ve been quite a burningly painful endeavour. Or at least you hoped he couldn’t feel it… Nonetheless, you whispered you were sorry before applying some more.

Once you were satisfied you had done all you could with the little you had, you tied the piece of torn fabric tightly around his leg, enclosing the wound effectively. You reached for his face, caressing his skin. He was burning up… You relaxed back down, wiping the sweat away from your hairline with the back of your trembling hand. At last, you allowed yourself to take a deep breath. Javier’s breathing was still shallow, but it was there . You could work with that.

Your skin felt clammy and hot, none of which helped the exhaustion festering in your body. Forcing yourself back to your feet, you stumbled over a nearby table. Shaken up, you reached for the canteen, swallowing a considerable gulp of its content. You swore to yourself you’d never take water for granted ever again. The liquid passing down your throat felt positively divine, and you closed your eyes in a brief moment of relief. Not one to be greedy, you took a smaller sip next, feeling the dryness in your throat being soothed.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Arthur make his way past the walls of the ruins, and you placed the canteen back in its spot. Before he really got the chance to halt his steps, you met him where he stood, embracing him tightly. 

Arthur froze a lingering moment before hugging you back. You had both survived the impossible . Unprocessed thoughts swirled around in your mind like a whirlpool, and you were unable to find the right words. It turned out you didn’t have to though, Arthur understood.

“I know”, he patted your back calmly, and you backed away gently to offer him a sweet smile.

“How is he?”. Arthur looked in Javier’s direction. You crossed your arms at your chest, face now in worried folds.

“I’ve dealt with the wound as best I can. He’s not reacting but he’s breathing… We just gotta wait and see when he wakes up…”, you chewed on the inside of your cheek. The sun was still high up, and it wasn’t getting any colder soon. The sweat was starting to trickle down your back. “He has a fever, and we could do with some more water for washing up and cooling down…”

“Sure, I’ll help you”

The water source wasn’t too far, about a ten minute walk into the jungle. You carried a wooden bucket each, filled to the brim. It looked to be clear enough for washing, though you had to agree with Bill’s hesitation to its possibilities for consumption. You weren’t about to add potential illnesses to the mix.

“Arthur I need you”, Dutch called from across the lot. You exchanged a knowing look of exhaustion as he took a tired breath in, offering him a sympathetic smile as he pressed on ahead towards what was undoubtedly more demanding work.

You knelt down next to Javier’s sleeping form, cupping your hands together to gather some water to run along your clammy skin. The effect was instantaneous, and you felt fresher than you had in days. Cool hands roamed across your neck and exposed forearms, and you took a moment to simply revel in the relief of getting to wash yourself.

Tearing off another little piece of fabric, you dipped it into the bucket. Gently you smoothed it over Javier’s feverish skin. You took your time cleaning him up, removing whatever dirt still clung to him. Dipping it once more you drained some of the excess, placing the cool cloth firmly atop his forehead. You moved to rest against the wall next to him, hand remaining on his face as you traced tiny patterns along his cheek. 

His breathing had strengthened enough to where you could clearly see his chest move with each quiet breath. The sight alone blessed you with enough peace of mind to allow yourself to catch up with your exhaustion. Careful not to bump into him too much, you scooted down to splay yourself on the ground beside him, turning on your side to face him. Your hand moved to rest atop his chest, comforted by the rise and fall, as your head inched forward to rest your forehead and the tip of your nose against the side of his face. 

Your lashes fluttered against his skin as you felt your eyelids grow heavy. In your state of exhaustion you weren’t certain if you imagined it or not, but it felt as though he stirred ever so slightly once you settled, his steady breathing wavering for a moment. Regardless, you softly spoke your reassurance. “I’m here”. Had he indeed stirred, his breathing now calmed once more, the gentle rhythm of his heart lulling you right to sleep.