Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandoms:
Relationships:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2024-07-20
Words:
565
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
8
Kudos:
23
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
252

The Phantom Thieves of Mwehehe

Summary:

It's been a few years since the Metaverse reappeared on Futaba's phone. And while most of the Phantom Thieves have decided that they're not touching the damn thing with a ten foot pole, Futaba has managed to convince her girlfriend Sophia to help her use it for silly bullshit.

Silly gay bullshit.

...so what if the best way to hit on a girl was to steal her crappy dad's heart together?

Notes:

This fic was written as a celebration for my account reaching 3,000 kudos! I allowed people from my Discord to brainstorm and vote for an idea to be written, and the winner was:

'Futaba Gets a Weird GF'

So here it is!

Please, feel free to join my Discord at The Paradox. It's full of silly nonsense like this, we'd love it if you stopped by! :D

Work Text:

“Hello, Mr. Gregorie von Varley!” A girl’s voice rang out over the loudspeakers of Von Varley Veronautics headquarters, a smiling red-haired avatar appearing on each of the companies’ screens. “My name is Sophie, humanity’s companion! And I’m here to tell you that you suck!”

“Your business is awful, stealing from the disadvantaged just so you can make a profit!” The girl tilted her head from side to side as she spoke, sitting on nothing as she kicked her legs and smiled, seemingly oblivious to the chaos consuming the offices as she spoke. “You exploit the needy, underpay your employees, and when you promised a Christmas bonus, you took it all for yourself! That is very rotten!”

“And worst of all, you mistreat your own daughter.” Von Varley froze, his eyes glued to the screen and his lips moving to form silent, unspoken words. “You made her scared to even be in the same house as you! That’s awful! You were her dad, and you made her life miserable. Boo! Boo on you!”

“But don’t worry! After tonight, all that will stop!” The girl flashed a thumbs up as she stood, still smiling broadly. “Tonight, Alibaba and I will be stealing your Heart! I hope it helps you decide to make things right! Bye!”

And then she was gone, and chaos reigned once more.

---

As soon as Sophie was back in her body in the Metaverse, she was being pulled into a hug by a girl with goggles on her head, and a sharkish grin on her face.

“That was pog as hell Sophie!” Oracle squeezed the other girl enthusiastically, mischief and pride dancing in her eyes. “You’ve got him running scared!”

“Thank you!” Sophie blushed hugging back with a big smile of her own. “Was it enough for a kiss?”

“You goose, you know you don’t need to prove anything to me for a kiss.” Oracle winked, nonetheless, leaning forward to give her girlfriend said kiss before she could even think to be disappointed. “Now, watch, as the great Alibaba kisses you anyways, mwehehehe!”

“Thank you, Ms. Great Alibaba!” Sophie giggled as Oracle pulled back, floating up and away through the power of her Persona. “Does that mean we are okay to infiltrate?”

“If Bernie’s ready!” Oracle’s grin grew even wider as she flipped her goggles down. “Then we can start this speedrun whenever!”

“Oh- uh- I-“ The girl with the purple mask who had been watching the pair suddenly turned a shade of bright red, her eyes darting around as if to pretend she had been doing anything but. “Y-yeah, I’m ready! Ready ready! Y-yeah!”

“Perfect!” Sophie smiled, lowering her mask to cover her face as the display turned to illustrate her feeling of ^_^. “Come on Ms. Cute Bernie, we are going to steal your father’s Heart!”

“Mwhghah?!” Bernie turned even brighter red as Sophie took her hand, tugging her forward toward the mysterious castle that loomed ahead of them in the Metaverse. “Wh-what do you m-mean Ms. Cute Bernie!?”

“She means you’re cute af Bernie Bear!” Oracle grinned as she jumped into her Persona, Al Azif rising to follow after the other two as it lifted up into the air. “Mwehehehe!”

Sophie was just glad that Von Varley had already gotten their calling card.

Because she was pretty sure the sound of Bernie’s gay panic would have tipped him off otherwise.

^_^