Archive of Our Own ^beta

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"what if gordon told the other gordons/barney told the other barneys when the universes collide"

joke is theyd all touch their respective puppy gordons :)

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mama freeman who was cut from the plot

  initiation

YES the incest is canon genuinely what do you expect of them me

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basic rundown for context

normal puppy gordon au until he gives birth. normally, they die a few days after, but here they live and gordon probably is back to adult the next couple days. the kids grow until theyre abt 12-ish human years. charlie one day begs and begs and beggggs to go out w the scouting party, barney recultantly agrees, she dies etc. jack soon slits his wrists from his grief, gman hires him before he dies etc, jack works hard enough to bring charlie back everyones happyyyyyy everything stays happyyyyyy

au of the au (pups survive) of the au (pup gordon) of the au (theyre dogs) where jack was born female! i dont... really intend to write *that* au but.. well. anythings possible in the future. the main things to get is that physically, other than jacque having longer hair and like. different genitals i guess., they are IDENTICal. essentially they grow up the exact same, all that shit, BUT instead of slitting her wrists too, she overdoses on pills. (jack has issues w anemia/too little blood after getting hired, jacque has seizures mainly triggered by stress) while jack gains courage and like. isnt evil, jacque is just straight up a man hating lesbian sister-lover. vague plot of that au is she somehow gets more power from gman than she should, takes her chance (aka, has the audacity) to do things HER way, and one end of the au is literally everyone BUT charlie n jack are dead and theyre in the void 4evar, or jack is either killed or otherwise wounded into submission. in normal au charlie is relatively very happy while in fem!jack au she is..... definitely nawtttt taken advantage offffffff

rhis is where she finds out she has allergies

he remembers why hes in love with her

re: jack's anemia. he finds out the hard way what ignoring his body's alarms will get him

I *dont* actually intend a sexual gman and jack relationship LOL. at most ill tease abt it in the fic but like..... i imagine if they have sex its incomprehensible to the human eye... maybe this was just to really get to barney or... something

Gordon finally turns to him. He’s got more blood pooled in the collar of his HEV suit, a few scuffs in the material from bullets. He’s only pretty sure Gordon’s eyes don’t glow, but they look close to it.

Gordon tilts his head, nods, ears tilting up, of course.

not particularly pup au but its going here anyway

i wish i could fit mama freeman into the au but. i dont think i coulddddddd. she lives in the forest oblivious of literally EVERYTHING. has tea w gman every other week

was so so high (hence all the weird grammar/misspelling) but wanted to draw something, so i defaulted to my fav; refs! redacted part is just bc i dont have a name for whatever could cause that LOL

that one meme. tbh i probably traced after gordons model in this one kdjghkd im getting flashbacks remembering it was wayyyy to passed bedtime to draw this

not canon at ALL!!!!! but.. yknow. it fits. i wish i had more ideas for this situation bc shes sooo cute here to me

I draw charlie (and sometimes jack) with felvin every now n then! [proceeds to not be able to find any goddamn more of them totgether]

this started as a joke........ but charlie is soooo horny for like. any male in her vicinity. girl get help 

bg i made for my puter

another "not particularly in pup au but not impossible to put it in there" ig. other character is my sona/self insert thats a weird alien thaang, takes care of the grubs n antlions. the idea of gordon fairly anti-alien but liking shit like snarks or even fucking the 

saw the screenshot on the combineover wiki and it killed meeeeeee

itty bitty young'ins get one of those rarer times out of the bunker

baldney

trying so hard to figure out hair for him but like. with them big ass ears and the unlikeliness of him having long hair... i struggle

idea for winter fit

felvin and mama! he would be expecting him to have to pay her back via sex the entire time they hang kjhfklja

this doesnt go here at all but i like it way too much im sorry. im not sorry. freemind and canon barney

this hardly goes here either. warriored their cats. i really dont care how to possibly make this universe mashup work KHDKHSDFL

jack gets a pretty bad fever when he first brings charlie back, barney and gman have a short conversation

barney accidentally scares charlie, cant properly help her because he's gotta help fight. Barney manages to talk to jack for a bit

"the best thing abt having a son that can dimension-hop, is that he can take you to an olive garden when those havent existed for years" or whatever my original caption said. we ARE ignoring how much jack would hate cum on his peets

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maybe i had some vague reason, but i think i mostly thought itd be funny if beauty and eddie had unbelievable beef. eddies the kinda guy to have nicknames for everyoneee

well i dont remember the context for this, and my 2 seconds of trying to find the original post, but like. i think it boiled down to eddie always butting heads w barney specifically, probably abt gordon LOL. eddie literally would not care if he killed barney hes being NICE

idk either how eddie can capture him. who cares! penis in little boy!!

eddie gets curious, gordon knows

and if he had a pussy! whoooooops!

i guess gordon hid the pregnancy? i dont care. youll find in these aus i either dont know or dont care. ANYWAY eddies sister, barbie (afaik the entire family i made for him are ALL ocs of mine) opens the door, very quickly realizes what her brother did. big daddy isnt happyyyyyy

i remembered at least one of them dies or gets real sick pretty young but i cant remember any of the other details </33333

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starting off strong huh? i had imagined that jacque would hate barney SO much, but knows how much charlie loves him. doesnt stop her from suicide baiting him, and then rewinding time a little :) if i say "like the scene from skinamarink", that might give an idea to what shes like ksdfgjh

even if she doesnt like him at all, theres still that teeny tiny, little bitty part of her that still craves his approval

charlie loveloveloves her sister of course, but shes not into other girls </3 i had half a thought that it was barney fucking her but that adds a loooooot more weight to this image bahaha

this au is a buncha disjointed "ohh what if i do it this wayyy" scenes. jacque had wanted to kill gordon for a looooong time, though gman always stopped her. at some point in her power syphoning, gman and gordon get the chance to like... lock her? in the void together. either they win and will have to explain what they did, BUT everyone is safe, OR she wins and like. either gets free w gman AND gordon dead (which means barney next to go and alyx not far behind) ORRRR is stuck in the little pocket they made. forever.

OR...... she can get a lobotomy :) she was beating their ASSESSSSS........ until she gets worked up enough to have a seizure. quite literally the only thing in this specific ending that saves the day is the way she killed herself all that time ago. loooove the idea that gordon gets a flashback to *his* lobotomy fic, in a completely different universe, when he stabs her. i imagine hed be human in the flashback but i probably didnt wanna go through all that work in this ksdjhgdfk before hed done that though, i think she knew exactly what theyre trying to trick her into going to and manages to get a snare around gordons throat pretty quick into the fight. its not even That terrible of a wound considering, but all the fighting n shit lead him to truly exert himself, because if he goes down *and* takes her, then thats a job well done

gman is already pretty weak  himself at this point. even before the fight, hed already been weakened by breaking away from his workplace (imagine gman crashing at the bunker or whereever they are. lol. grown ass dawg is jobless), and him being capable of being stabbed in the paw further cements this. hes using the last bits of his powers to keep gordon from Actually Literally dying as they come back. hes probably like.. in a medically induced coma while he heals up and gman watches over jacque for a bit

if i cared to write this au out more, by now barney like. would probably have killed himself by now skdfjghkl. and gman probably couldnt bring him backkkk kgjhsdkf. idk what charlies reaction to this is.... but now she has a sister thats only evil in small, relatively harmful ways! like. insult you or pull pranks that are really annoying at worse. i *think* the collar she has on is supposed to keep her powers dampened or something, i cant remember....... it couldve been a plain color to keep her leashed for all i know

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Charlie never knows how to tell her no.

It’s not like she hasn’t tried, exactly. Well… it’s hard to tell her no outright, but still. It’s not that big of a deal.

So that’s why Charlie lets Jacque tie her up.

It’s… fine, really. Jacque’s careful with her scars and her bad leg, and the rope isn’t that rough on her fur.

Her arms are bound together, wrists roped to her neck. Her ankles are tied to her thighs, bound open so she can’t close her legs. It’s embarrassingly revealing. Jacque spends minutes on each knot, tying it expertly. Where did she learn to tie so well? Surely this isn’t average-grade boy scouts.

“Jacque-” she starts.

“What?” Jacque snaps. She pulls a rope tighter, Charlie’s good leg bound almost uncomfortably to itself.

“How long-” she’s surprised to find herself winded, “are you keeping me like this?”

“However long I want.”

Charlie shivers, whimpers.

“D-dad…”

“What?” Jacque sounds bored. She tightens another knot, carding the rope through another loop around her middle. The ropes hug her tightly, comfortably. Secure enough she’d never get out without Jacque’s help.

… Charlie can feel how wet she is. How can she say no when she’s this eager?

“He’s going to see…”

“And?”

That gets Charlie’s heart picking up. “Jacque!!” she thrashes uselessly in her bindings, only managing to exhaust herself. “Jacque, no!” panting, she tries to meet her sister’s eyes, having to crane her neck uncomfortably, hoping she sees the panic in her eye.

“Shhh,” is all she offers. The rope around her middle tightens more, nearly restricting her breathing. “I know you want him.”

“N-no!!” not like this! Charlie continues to flail, the rope holding strong. In a panic she begins to chew at the rope around her wrists, teeth chattering too much to do much damage.

Jacque pulls her mouth away, cloyingly gentle. “Do that and I will bind your mouth until I’m done.”

Charlie hangs onto the eye contact Jacque gives her like a lifeline, willing her breathing to calm. It takes minutes, but it’s time Jacque has. She blinks hard, inhaling a last time before properly calming down. Okay…

“I don’t want him to see,” She finally mutters.

“I know.”

Charlie rests on her side, unable to move much anyway. It’s not uncomfortable but its heavy in her mind that she can’t move, that she’s at Jacque’s mercy. Jacque stands up, checks some of the knots.

And then, behind her, Charlie hears the door close.

“J–!” she can’t turn around enough, the door behind her and on her blindspot. With the way she’s tied up he can’t even move over, can’t see anything. “Jacque!!”

Her breathing is too fast, dizzy with it. The room’s dark and silent and empty, bare furnishings and extra rope the only thing to keep her company. Her legs are spread, and when she tries to pull her arms away from her chest, it only slightly chokes her, furthering her nervousness. Her eyes water, hot under the collar. 

It’s not the first time she’s had a panic attack, but it’s the first one she’s been alone for. She tries to breathe in deep, hitching all throughout. She attempts to exhale smoothly, failing. Where is Jacque? Surely she knows, knows how she feels. Why is she doing this?

She repeats her breathing a few times, only feeling like it’s suffocating her as she tries to keep it even. Charlie whimpers pathetically, shivering even though she’s not cold. Every intake of air reminds her of the rope tight around her, pressing into her fur, into her soft flesh.

Minutes pass. She feels the time slug by with no ticking of the clock, no change in position of the sun. Nothing. If anything, she’s just glad Jacque left her eye uncovered. She thinks she’d be sobbing by now if she was blinded. Her teeth chatter audibly until she grinds them together.

More time passes. She’s still needy between her legs, dripping with her desire. She doesn’t know where, but somewhere deep in her mind, she wants this.

She never really calms down, but her mind slips somewhere. Her thoughts muddle and her trembling lessens. She relaxes against the rope, lets it hold her like a tender embrace, one devoid of warmth.

It wouldn’t matter if Barney saw. Jacque would get in trouble but she wouldn’t care. Barney would be weird towards them both, weirder, but it wouldn’t matter. As long as Jacque is there to protect her, nothing matters.

Her eye closes, blinking slowly. She hears a soft shuffle behind her but she doesn’t care. She lets time pass.

“That wasn’t so difficult, was it?”

She doesn’t jolt, but it still startles her. It’s Jacque. She never left the room.

Charlie’s mouth moves around the shape of her name, no sound coming out. Her eye is lidded when she meets Jacque’s gaze. Jacque rolls her onto her back. Licks her cheek under her missing eye, holds her head for a moment. Charlie leans into the touch.

Jacque doesn’t say anything when she makes her way down Charlie’s body. The knots in the rope are already digging into her flesh, leaving little indents in even the fur, a temporary marking for when they’re done.

Charlie breathes out hard, a silent sound, when Jacque’s mouth meets her pussy.

It surprises her, really, for Jacque to service her. It’s not unusual, but Jacque had gone the entire time tying her up without even hinting at anything further. Charlie sighs out a moan, wanting to thrust up into the heat of her mouth. Jacque licks, sucks. Works her tongue inside her, licking at her wetness.

Charlie’s head tilts back, baring her neck. Any other time, she’s sure Jacque would nip at her neck, biting hard enough to mark.

But she doesn’t. She’s gentle between her legs, caressing her shivering thighs. Jacque licks up where she’s dripped with diligence. For a few precious seconds, she focuses on her clit, humming around her. This finally gets a noise out of Charlie, her teeth clench to silence the sound.

Her paws clench, cunt clenching around Jacque’s tongue. She’s close–

She should’ve expected it really, when Jacque pulls away. Charlie makes this miserable Mmmnn noise, head falling back onto the floor as her body relaxes. She wants to beg Jacque to not do this to her, not now, but her tongue is too thick and heavy in her mouth.

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So there was… another him.

He knew this fact, somewhat. It makes sense, every perspective of any given universe he was allowed to inhabit has a “him”, but… they’re all part of him. All controlled by him. At any moment he could choose to become that him.

But this one… Yes she looks exactly like him– brown fur, a lighter face and paws, a dark saddle over the back – but it’s still bizarre seeing this… alternate version of himself. Even their mannerisms are the same, though the way she twitches her ear and her lips twitch whenever certain names are mentioned are rare enough to him that it’s alien.

Would his employer have these alternates? Would he even want to tell Jack, or is that something that’s better off blissfully unaware of?

He files that thought away for later.

“I knew we would look similar, but I didn’t think like that,” Jacque’s smile isn’t genuine, but when Jack looks in the mirror, he doesn’t think his is any more convincing. She has longer hair, bangs that are perfectly trimmed. Even the lowlights look identical between them. “It really is…” she leans closer, though as if she wants to get a better look while keeping a safe distance from something unsavory. “... like you were copied from me and had one..” her gaze shifts, looking down his body, “little thing changed.”

“Hm.” He tilts his chin up a little, tries to work the words around in his mouth. Even their suits look identical, not a thread out of place. “It is strange.” Bold to think she’s the original, that there’s any distinction in time and space that would distinguish them. 

“Well,” Jacque starts, “go on. What do you do?” she rolls her eyes, shifting in place. “Let’s compare and contrast.”

Jack blinks, balks a little. Logically, they would also have the same exact jobs; why would his (their?) employer give them anything different? But also by that logic, she should also know he isn’t to tell anyone else what he does unless strictly necessary. He closes his mouth with a soft click of his teeth.

Her face scrunches up like she saw something cute, like a baby bunny all alone. Jacque snorts, tries to purse her lips together to stop her cackle, and fails. Their laughs… they almost sound the same. Almost. Like a distant echo that’s just, just slightly off. He fights to keep his face neutral. There’s something there, something… darker. Something……

She raises a paw to her mouth, stifling her giggling. “Come on, don’t be so uptight. I didn’t expect you to tell me anything– though I’m sure we basically have all the same duties.” She rolls her eyes, big ears spanning back. “Honestly, you’re just like him.”

He resists the odd, hot flush of shame that threatens him. “Him?”

Jacque jabs a paw into his shoulder. “Your boss?” She tilts her head down, looks at him through long lashes on lowered eyelids. Her smile drops like nothing. “He’s so…” she does this vague hand movement, something he catches himself doing trying to find the right words to someone who might not understand him. “Overbearing. He’s always trying to wrangle me in, as if he didn’t give me all this power.” her ears flatten behind her. “He thinks he’s so smart sometimes, but he's no match against someone on his own level.” Jacque looks at him again, that smile and glint in her eye back.

“My boss?” he wonders aloud, and then, very quietly, “what..?” 

Something dawns on him.

And then it drops again, her face. She groans audibly. “You haven’t figured it out yet?” She steps closer this time, close enough their noses nearly touch. “He’s using you!”

His eyebrows raise. He takes a very deliberate step back. “I know.”

It’s her turn to stall. Just like him, she blinks, lips parted for a moment before they close, a sour look on her face. She retreats a respectable distance away, not quite facing him, “...I see.”

He inhales quietly, tilts his head at her when he exhales. “I wasn’t that stupid when I was…” he falters. “before he hired me. I would give my life up for Charlie if I had to. A thousand times over.” His voice goes soft.

She peers at him a little oddly, head turned to the side and ears askew. “Huh.” she scoffs.

No, she was wrong earlier. There’s more than one thing different about them, it just may not be physical. “Don’t tell me you…” he swallows. “don’t.. care…”

She gives him that really unimpressive look again. “We both killed ourselves,” she starts, “we both ran off to the same place in White Forest,” She stands and steps closer again. Jack holds strong. “And we both did it because our sister died.” Her teeth bare, ever so slightly. Her head cocks to the side. “Having our employer on a short leash is just a plus.” Her lips voluntarily curl into a smile.

Jack's ears pin back. “How is she?” His voice croaks.

But she’s just as weak for Charlie, so Jacque doesn’t comment. He steps back again, placated. “She’s fine. Alive.” Her tail twitches, like she’s resisting letting it wag. “Her father keeps her happy while I’m gone.”

Jack’s ears focus forward. The amount of vitriol in her voice was so sudden and excessive, Jack would’ve thought Barney killed someone dear to h–

Ah.

“Ah.” he says. Yes. That difference between them is very emotion driven.

“What?” She turns her head again, “don’t tell me you–” her teeth almost chatter, “gave into his pleas for forgiveness.” She sneers down her nose at him.

And he thought they were so similar. “He never plead for my forgiveness,” he says, astounded. “He– I don’t–”

He needs to collect himself. He pauses while Jacque continues to look at him like he’s decided to stand on his head and do tricks. She gives him plenty of time, though. She would need just as much to compile a list of reasons against his opinions.

“I don’t… favor him. He’s only my father by technicality,” though it’s not like Barney doesn’t try. Jack simply just doesn’t need a father. “But he made a mistake, one he never took lightly.” He knows how often he breaks down from it. He could be on the other side of the universe and know. It doesn’t change between perspectives, not really. “I can only blame him so much, especially now that I have the ability to rectify his choice.” he lifts a paw, seeing the faint scar under the fur on his wrist.

She looks him up and down, gaze going between his eyes for a very long moment. “You don’t know, huh?”

He stops, voice weak when he asks, “Know what?”

Her lips curl in a nasty grin again. Her teeth show, her eyes darken. “How easy it is to get him to kill himself.”

For the first time since coming back, for the first time that wasn’t thinking about Charlie, Jack feels his heart plummet. “Wh… what?”

Jacque rolls her head back, finally breaks eye contact. Points her nose up like she’s reveling in a job well done. “Charlie can’t know, of course, but reversing time is easy once you learn it.”

She says it so… so simply. Jack’s still frozen, his heart a frigid mass in his chest. “You… made him kill himself?” His voice is barely a whisper.

“Ugh. What’s hard to understand here, yes! It was incredibly easy!”

He shakes his head, composes himself a little. “That’s not– you can’t– he will remember if you go back in time with him!” He shifts in place, restless. Their fathers shouldn’t be any different, what warrants Barney to deserve to die like this–

Jacque giggles, once, under her breath.

Jack goes still again, breathing still in his lungs. “You knew.”

Jacques eyelids lower, just a fraction. Her smile grows that little bit more.

No, they aren’t the same at all.

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Birds don’t chirp on this side of the valley, but Gordon still wakes up to the sun shining. 

It’s getting clearer every day– the sky, that is. Makes it a little easier to pretend some things are normal.

He lays like that; eyes open, staring at the wall in front of him. If he cared to wake his mind up, he’d be annoyed how his ear is folded under his head, or how dry his mouth is. Alas, he’s barely moved the muscles of his face since technically gaining consciousness. A glimmer finally catches his eye. It’s a stream of sun that came across the bottle of morphine and its most recent needle. He forgot to put it away before falling asleep. Fuck.

This would be a sign to finally try and stop, something inside him might say– or maybe it’s on the other side of his house. The brown dog finally lifts his head, paw slapping on the bedside table to snatch his glasses. Normally, Gordon wouldn’t even wait for a sign for something he’s so… dangerously dependent on; normally, his biggest gripes were all-nighters and caffeine.

But… give him a break. He’s tired. He’s always hurting. Just like every morning, he lifts himself up, lets the blankets fall from his shoulders. He’ll rouse the snark that cuddles beside him, walking around its small form as he slides off the bed. Not every morning, but enough of them, he’ll step wrong on his bad ankle, curse himself for it. Next, he’ll beeline for the coffee machine, if he doesn’t hit the bathroom first.

Slinking out of the bathroom, today specifically, he will look down to the living room, and see it. 

He will pause… he pauses. His crowbar has not seen blood– alien or not –in some time, he’s been good about that. He’s taken good care of the thing; he owes it that.

Gordon will… blink. He will tear his gaze from the item. He walks to his coffee, focuses on how steaming bean water warms his lungs. 

But still, he sits next to the crowbar. He takes the remote from beside the thing, turns on some mindless rerun that’s more static than not. On his couch, a gaudy orange leather that looks far too synthetic for the day and age, he’ll curl on one side, looking at the crowbar out of the corner of his eye hogging the other end.

It’s fine. This morning is alright, if he doesn’t think about having to see the morphine if he goes back to his room, or if his tongue doesn’t run over the missing chunk of tooth that fits his weapon. His salvation. The coffee tastes alright; it was one of the few plants to survive the Combine invasion. His mug clanks on the table beside the couch loudly.

His tail brushes against his tool. Gordon tenses, head turning over like the item had touched him. He inhales, forces himself to relax. Mm… if there was one thing that could get him to relax… 

He forces himself to sip at his coffee, still too hot. It burns his tongue, and even so far from the HEV suit– locked away in the bunker –he could imagine the Warning: Extreme heat damage detected. He sighs, hoping if he keeps his eyes shut long enough, the static may warp into chirping and rustling leaves.

Some time later– minutes, hours –he gets up. His claw is on the off button of the remote, but something makes him turn around, turn to… it. He doesn’t care to think twice about setting the remote beside the weapon, taking a moment to note how it leans against the back of the couch. Are you enjoying retirement too? The corner of Gordon’s mouth ticks up.

He stretches his back out on the stairs, tail wagging a couple times as he imagines the crowbar watching him saunter to the kitchen, say, oh yes, of course!

Maybe… maybe… are you kidding? There’s more out there, let’s go! Haha.

He hasn’t gone to the bunker or through the passage behind his house in a bit, so he’s left with slightly-less desirable food, mostly some kind of headcrab. Mostly not-earth species entirely. 

It’s fine. Anything actually food inside his body aside from what he’d accidentally bitten off in a hunt after so many days (years… ha!) was fine. Really, cooked headcrab doesn’t taste that awful, even wildcaught specimens. 

Gordon noses open his fridge, pulls out a couple eggs (earth chicken) and bacon (god-knows what). Paws full, mouth unmoving, he asks, Do you want any?

It’ll hum, flicking through channels with a dying remote. I’ll eat half of what you do.

He nods, expecting the answer, so he closes the fridge. He’d already gotten enough, and he wonders how lucky he is to find something he can connect to. Knows it like the back of his paw. 

He keeps getting lost in his head, so he keeps his eyes locked on the scrambled eggs. Still ends up burning-yet-undercooking them. Whatever, still edible. The bacon’s purple sheen makes it hard to tell if it’s thoroughly cooked, but he hasn’t gotten sick yet.

The snark is lured out of his comfy bed, chittering when she comes to the other side of the kitchen’s island. Gordon steps down and licks Mavis’ head, nudging her side so she tips over. Flops on the rug with wiggling legs. He grins, tail twitching. He’ll break off a little bit of bacon, blow on it until it’s cooler, then toss it to the alien. 

He’d try and grin through its chastising of feeding that damn thing. 

Mavis is my pet, Gordon would respond, but he’d never say dear or honey or Weapon, because he isn’t really one for petnames. I wish you’d say what about a raw diet? I know your mentor thinks aliens should eat some earth food, but it must be so unnatural for her… 

I’ve been thinking about it. Gordon’s never been the biggest fan of sweets, but this bacon seems to… caramelize quite nicely if he doesn’t burn it. He could get lost in the smell, but then he’d get lost entirely, and something would really catch on fire. Even that can look beautiful if he appreciates it. 

Looking at the snark, he flicks his nose to the living room, shooing it away. He plates the bacon, sectioning off enough of the meat and eggs for the both of them. If he can stand being up and about, he’ll mix some of Mavis’s food with the grease.

He’ll nearly trip over the snark on his way, but his paws are steady enough that he barely breaks stride. His ankle still hurts when he bends it too far– it’s just two steps, he has to get better. He stretches out his back after setting the plate on the table, doesn’t even acknowledge the sat-upright crowbar beside him.

He eats most of his breakfast, wants the rest but a wave of nausea clenches his belly. He’ll sigh, fork clanking on the plate. In that case, that might be all he’ll be able to choke down today. 

“Lucky day, Mavis,” Gordon will sign with a single paw, putting his plate on the floor for his snark to pick at.