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English
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Part 7 of Tumblr Title Fics
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Published:
2024-08-03
Words:
543
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1/1
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I Don’t Think Even Natasha Knows What’s Going On

Summary:

Bucky's been flirting with Tony despite Tony already being in a relationship with Steve. Natasha is going to get down to the bottom of it.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

I Don’t Think Even Natasha Knows What’s Going On

 

Steve felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and very carefully did not jump up from his seat into a defensive position. He wasn’t going to give her the pleasure. Then he felt a knife against his throat, and he sighed, closing his eyes. “Damn it.”

 

“You should have run when you had the chance,” Natasha said ominously.

 

Steve considered just chucking her, but then something cold hit his wrist with a loud click, and he ignored the knife to look down in shock. “Did you just handcuff me to this chair?!”

 

“Vibranium handcuffs,” Natasha confirmed smugly, crossing her arms over her chest. “I stole them from your bedside drawer. They’ll hold you.”

 

Steve turned his eyes on her, mouth hanging open in shock. He didn’t know which fact to address first—that she’d handcuffed him to a chair (which wasn’t made of vibranium, so the only thing really keeping him there was his unwillingness to break it) or the fact that she’d been in his room, in his bedside drawer, which was full of other stuff he didn’t want her to see, like that Iron Man vibrator Tony had gotten him as a joke, or the Readers Digests he’d started hiding because the entire team had started howling with laughter when they’d seen him reading one. Somehow the idea she might have seen his magazines was more embarrassing.

 

“Now, Steve,” Natasha began, tapping the blade of her knife against her shoulder idly. “I have questions. You’re going to answer them. If I think you’re waffling, I will stab you, just so you know.”

 

“Okay?” Steve answered, still a little bewildered. He still didn’t understand why he was handcuffed to a chair.

 

Natasha stared at him for a moment, just to make sure he understood the gravity of what was happening (he didn’t, but he figured she knew that). Finally, though, she asked, “What’s going on with you, Tony, and Bucky?”

 

“I was not part of covering your doorknobs in lube,” Steve said.

 

Natasha stared at him a little longer. “What?” she finally asked.

 

“Also Bucky’s been trying to seduce Tony just to see if he can,” Steve added. “If Tony doesn’t figure out he’s flirting within six months, Bucky owes me pizza. If he does, I owe him the same.”

 

“…And you’re okay with that?” Natasha said, narrowing her eyes skeptically. “I was there when Tony joked about you being the most jealous man he knew and you jokingly asked if he knew other men. There was a little sincerity to it.”

 

Steve shrugged. “Bucky’s not a threat. Besides, you don’t know my kinks.”

 

“I know some of them,” Natasha deadpanned, glancing at his handcuffed wrist.

 

“I did not invite you into my bedside drawer so that’s your fault,” Steve retorted.

 

Natasha hummed, frowning in that way that meant ‘you’re right but I’m not going to acknowledge it because I’m better than you.’ “…What did you say about lube on my doorknobs?” she asked, narrowing her eyes again, but this time it was threatening instead of skeptical.

 

Steve grabbed the handcuff by the chain and yanked, breaking the arm of the chair, and sprinted for the emergency stairs.

Notes:

Listen all Steve wants is to sketch Bucky fucking the life out of Tony but he's not going to SAY that.

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