Archive of Our Own ^beta

Trapped in the cage, her bugs sing; trapped in the cage, her son would not.

To be here and then to be gone. A constant fear that lingers at the edge of the knowing.

That is what she felt day and night. It was the rats. She feared the rats. As she looked, they would be gone.

If she looked away, the Kingsguard would cease to exist. They were not near as they should have been. They did not watch as they were bid—a constant fear lingering at the edge of the knowing.

Helaena misliked it when she drifted; when she drifted in the before she was not as afraid as she was now. She did not see the rats then. The blood didn’t stain her neck. Now? Was it now? The rats brought her fear, and blood would spill on the child's sheets.

She would choose her girl to die. There was no choice in the choosing.

But…but

Did she have to choose?

Helaena did not plan. She moved without thought and only with lingering foresight. At the hour of the wolf, when birth and death are simultaneous in their multitude, she gathered her babies. She wrapped Maelor to her front, snug and asleep. The twins she took by the hands, wrapping them in cloak and hood; she made them start walking with haste. They did not utter a word, use they were to their mother's manner.

There was no king's guard that night. Ser Cole had taken guard of another bed chamber. No guard was to take his place, occupied as they were with the king and their drinking. Lord Commander is useless in his position.

She feared the rats.

She walked where the servants slunk into the dark, dusty passages and corridors where highborn's do not tread. Down they went, from the upper level to the warmth of one of the many kitchens. No servant yet laboured, but a kitchen boy slept by the hearth, covering himself with a flower sack and rag. She dropped the twins hands and left them to hover by the entrance, eyes now wide and awake.

They know their mothers fear.

Helaena makes her way to one of the many pantries. She flinches as a colony of rats scrambles away from her shadow; if only if it could always be so. She grabbed a hard cheese and cured venison; good enough for the babies to eat. At her breast she felt Maelor begin to stir. She must make haste.

Helaena grabbed up a cloth to wrap the food before making her way back to her children.

“...ya’ soun’t be down here. Cook will beat ur’ behind with a spoon like he's done to me. Shoo.”

Helaena’s heart was in her throat as she cautiously approached the boy. He was covered in soot but there is nothing that could hide his pretty, shiny, platinum utterly Targaryen. He was a beautiful little dream; this little keeper of the fire. So a like to her children that he could be one of hers. Was he one of hers? No; she’d had her mothers pain twice but blessed three times. He was not one of hers but from a brother.

“You did not see us.” Helaena spoke softly, soft as a dream. “Go back to sleep boy, if not sleep then go kill any rat you see.” Helaena tried not to look at the boy as he stared, purple eyes wide in wonder. She walks past the boy and takes up the twins hand again, pulling them along. The boy would not give them away, he was no rat. He would feed the hearth to make blackfyre. This she knew at the edge of knowing.

“Wait, please Lady.” He would not tell because he didn’t not know them. But she did not wait. Her feet had wings as they disappeared into the bowels of keep, and further to the dragon pits. Her children were tired and wanted to stop. But they could not, if they stopped the rats would get them, if they stopped they would die.

The dark passage opened up into a cavern so dark and deep it swallowed all light. The twins gripped her night dress, scared of the dark they were, trembling in true terror. They have yet to meet their dragons, and do not yet know the safety these caverns bring. There are no rats here to run over their feet, fearful as they of being eaten by dragons; as it should be.

Her Dreamfyre awaits. They would have to pass Sunfyre but he would pay them no mind, gentle as a dragon could be to Aegon’s kin.

Torches lit their way as they entered Dreamfyre’s den. Helaena’s hand sweat from the long trek and the fear of fire for her children. Dreamfyre’s head rose up to meet her rider, letting out an exasperated huff at haven been awoken.

“...pretty...”Jaehaera whispered out looking at the wall of the cavern, reflections of Dreamfyre’s silver scales danced across the wall. This seemed to please Dreamfyre as she took in a great breath of air to smell at the little people before her. They belonged to her rider and so they too would be allowed to ride.

Helaena brought the twins to the wall of the cavern and let go of their hands. She moved to the chains that secured Dreamflyer and set to work removing the iron pins. Her hands knew no work but embroidery, but they would have to due to set the chains loose. They trembled as she pulled one, two, three, and finally four free.

She walked back up to Dreamfyre’s head before pressing her forehead to her dragons, mindful of the baby on her chest.

“...Take us away, Dreamfyre. Take us far, far away. You feel my fear, with these rats.” Helaena rubbed Dreamfyre across her nose, letting fear melt away for a moment. The unmistakable smell of dragon could never be described as a pleasant one but it is comforting nonetheless.

They must go. They must fly away and, hopefully, never return. With her gone, there was one less dragon to rain fire down on the people. One less dragon to be a weapon in an asinine war.

She gathers up the twins and pushes them up onto the saddle. She followed them up, trembling; the fear had returned. One would be in front and the other behind. She ties them tight, so tight they both give protest. They are scared now too, never having been on a dragon. But they must go or the rats will eat them alive, they must go or blood would stain the sheets.

They must go or be trapped in the cage. There is fear in not knowing where they will go. But there is more fear lingering at the edge of her knowing. Fear in knowing. They would go where there was no rats.

“Sōvēs”