Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Time was running out. That was the only fact Sebastian could be fully certain of, his advantage was waning, every drop of power he held slipping away.
With every day that passed, the expendables sent down here grew more and more competent. It had been great at first, more were making it to his shop, business was booming, he was getting his hands on a steady stream of data, but they continued to improve even after that. Soon, the number of desperate men eager to waste their money on the nearest medkit they found started depleting, they didn't need as much, were already equipped, some didn’t even buy anything, they didn't need him.

This had cut off his revenue, he was getting less and less, profit declining at an alarming rate, no one had managed to retrieve the crystal yet, although there had been a few blackouts caused by those that got far enough to try and flee the blacksite, but it wasn't gone, he knew he wouldn't stay that lucky for long.
He needed more data, just a bit more, and he was sure he'd be able to figure something out.. just a bit more..

Sebastian was pulled from his worries by the sound of a small group crawling through the vent into his shop, to which he gave his usual speech. He didn't even have to think about what he was saying anymore.
This was fine, everything was fine, he just had to pretend everything was alright, sell his wares, and he'd be-

“Damn sexy, bend over!”
“Fucking hell, what a hot piece of meat!”

Sebastian had to fight to not just tear the hollering group of expendables apart that very second, the comments having his tail flicking ever so slightly in irritation, he refused to respond.
He was, unfortunately, used to this, these people hadn't just become prisoners for no reason, many were… rude, to say the least, would sexualize anything that moved, hell he'd even seen an alarming amount of sex offenders sent down, and that only accounted for the ones that saw fit to tell him about their deeds.

He'd been catcalled far too many times for comfort, at least someone telling him to bend over wasn't as bad as some of the things he heard… at least they didn't go into detail about how exactly they wanted to fuck him. Hell, he had even had some particularly ballsy expendables offer him data in exchange for sex… looking back on it… that gave him an idea… It was a last resort, but it was possible, one last shot in the dark for if he was truly in need.

The group got what they wanted, which wasn't much, merely some batteries and a codebreaker, leaving him with pathetically little data, truly he deserved far more compensation for dealing with a group so rude. They left with a few more wolf whistles and highly sexual remarks, leaving him in relative peace once more, left alone with his thoughts, falling into a trap of his own making…

… Was he really desperate enough to sell himself..?

The thought repulsed Sebastian, he couldn't imagine stooping so low. He had already been used, twisted into what others desired, he couldn't possibly do that again, could he? He did really need the data..
And it was just sex, he had done that before, it had been a while, but he wasn't some pure virgin, and he never really held onto the belief that sex was some big deal.
Yeah, he could do that, it seemed easy enough, he doubted many of the expendables here even had good stamina, he could just go for a quick fuck, and even get paid for it!

At that moment, it seemed like such a good idea, a genius solution to the problem that haunted him most, simple and effective. He didn't even have to doubt whether anyone would be interested, plenty of people had stated to his face that they'd be more than willing to fuck him, and yes, those remarks made him want to throw up, but they confirmed he'd have a good number of clients.
Those comments were odd in a way, he hated them, God he hated them so much… But they were also a distant comfort. He had thought himself ugly after becoming who he was now, had been able to see nothing but a monster when he caught sight of his reflection, yet still there were those that found him attractive, even like this, and that had to mean something.

—

By the time the next expendable rolled around, this one a lone explorer, confident and not needing a single thing Sebastian had to offer, he had already put together a rudimentary sign, containing things such as prices and rules, the basics.

Prices were high, incredibly so, he wasn't just going to make himself into a cheap whore, no, he wanted to be an expensive whore!
Plus, he had based the listed prices around what he had seen others offer, it would cost a lot, but he figured the price was reasonable.

As for rules, well those covered pretty basic things, no leaving physical marks, no intentionally causing pain, pull out in time or pay extra, that kind of stuff, he did still want to protect himself, and he had limits.

As the expendable caught sight of the sign, he felt his stomach sink, a cold pang of dread making itself known, he could still back out, it wasn't too late, maybe this wasn't worth it after all-

They had already pulled out a hefty bundle of data, and he simply couldn't refuse.

With a grumble that he hoped sounded annoyed instead of scared, he lowered himself down, knowing they wouldn't be able to reach anything useful in his usual position, trying not to flinch as they laid a hand on his tail.

“Be gentle, yeah? The really freaky stuff costs extra.”

Sebastian reminded them coldly.

“Yea yea, shush, I'll go easy on you.”

He nearly gave into the urge to bite them at their dismissive tone, they could have at least pretended they were nice, perhaps he could offer a discount to those that were polite, not that that discount would come up a lot judging by the types of people that came down here.

He couldn't help but wonder what this guy had done to land themself here, who knew, maybe they had just tried evading taxes, maybe they were extremely abusive, there was no way for him to know, and in the end.. if they were providing what he needed… well he wasn't exactly in a position to send anyone away.

“So, how will this work anyway? What parts you got, and where?”
“There's a slit, use it.”

He had to turn away as he gave the instructions, not able to push down enough of his shame to face them, especially not as they started feeling around near the base of his tail, eventually thumbing over what they were looking for, drawing an involuntary shudder from him, he hoped they'd just get this over with quickly.

They were already unceremoniously dropping their pants, cock springing out, ready for action.
Sebastian was torn between the need to look, keep control by seeing what was going on, and simply not acknowledging what was happening, leaving him side eyeing them with noticeable irritation.

“What, am I not big enough for you?~ I know I'm not the best, but you could at least pretend.”
“For the love of God shut up!-”

He couldn't keep that remark in, words slipping out with a low growl, making it all the more obvious that he was not exactly pleased with this situation. He distantly hoped the expendable would pick up on that, show some level of sympathy and back off. They didn't.

He tried not to gag as the pressed on, stepping forward and rubbing their dick around the opening they had found, trying not to think about their hygiene situation, who knew how long they'd been down here facing horror after horror, who knew when they'd had their last shower? It was disgusting… but they were a paying customer.

Sebastian gritted his teeth as they tried far too soon to push in, they hadn't even bothered with foreplay, but hey, who bothered with that when it came to buying sex. He shifted away ever so slightly, as the complete lack of any preparation or lubrication had their premature efforts stinging. Not getting the message, they simply tried again.

“Knock it off, asshole! I'm not ready!”
“What, you're not wet? That's weird.”

Oh, right, he forgot that he meant to be so incredibly turned on by a below average dude who probably hadn't showered in days, who of course also didn't bother with getting him arouses in the slightest, surely this had to be the sexiest thing he had ever experienced.

“Right, yes, I forgot to manifest my undying lust for you out of thin air, how could I not, go right ahead then!”

He snapped back, about to just put an end to this already, his protests halted as they whipped out another pile of data, significantly smaller than the first, but still quite a lot.

“How about we just start already, okay?”
“...just get it over with.”

Sebastian gave in, maybe this turn of events was for the best anyway, he didn't think he could bear this guy's attempts at getting him wet, and he'd get more money this way.
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to relax, a flinch mostly held back as they lined themself up. It wasn't a big deal, he wouldn't let it be, it wasn't-

His scrambled thoughts were quickly pushed aside by the stinging sensation of their cock being forced into his slit, a miserable pained peep escaping him before he stilled himself and shut up.
It hurt, far more than he had predicted, the emotional turmoil just as bad, as the physical pain, if not worse.

He kept himself as still as he could as they moved, pace uneven and sloppy, something he was grateful for. Moving too much made it worse, so he remained as still as he could, ignoring everything, ignoring the disgusting sounds ringing out through his shop, the clammy and invasive hands of the expendable fucking him, the way he could feel them throbbing within him at every little whine he let slip.

He considered it a mercy that they merely sought to use him, as he quickly grew to despise the thought of being forced to enjoy this, caring only about themself had them going quite a bit faster right now.
Soon enough he could feel their movements start to stutter more and more, before finally, to his great relief, the pulled out, their cum shooting out onto his belly. As gross as it was, at least it wasn't inside him.

He distanced himself from them with a glare, curling in on himself as they laid the data they had promised out on the table, leaving without a word, abandoning him to process what had just happened, not a surprise, he hadn't been expecting after care.

Sebastian felt far worse than he could have ever predicted, utterly defiled, a wreck, almost as if something in this encounter had sealed his fate.
… it had worked, gotten him more data than he had seen all day, he had desperately hoped it wouldn't, would just be some stupid idea that he'd be able to pass off after a try or two. He hadn't cried in quite a while, always fighting to keep himself tough and presentable, but he cried now as he came to the realization that he'd have to do this time and time again if he ever wanted to get out of here.

Chapter Text

Sebastian's last supply run had been a bit different, as was evidenced by the new trinkets now sat beside the sign with his prices on it.
He tried very hard to not acknowledge the things he had picked up in the way, stomach turning every time he caught sight of the lube and condoms now nearby.

He had considered not getting anything of the sort, but decided it would be best in the end. The lube was to make things less painful for him, he didn't want a repeat of last time, as for the condoms… well he didn't know how exactly his anatomy had shifted since becoming who he was now, and he had read in his file that he had been given female anglerfish DNA specifically, he absolutely did not want to risk ending up pregnant, that would be far too much to deal with.
At least he could be grateful that the staff members here at the blacksite had gotten freaky before, as he didn't have to work much to get what he was looking for.

When Sebastian heard someone approaching, he resisted the urge to just say his shop was closed for the day, he had only just gotten started, he couldn't take a break yet.

It was a relief to see that his customer was once more a single expendable, boring, typical, the same as everyone else, he'd be able to forget them with ease.
He avoided eye contact as they took notice of the sign, along with the things placed next to it, and cringed as they laughed at him.

He barely resisted the urge to bite as they dismissively threw data down before them, sheer panic of the realization of what this meant enough to make him feel ill.

He couldn't do this, not again, he couldn't-
But what other options did he have?

Trembling, he lowered himself down to allow better access, pliant and passive, they hadn't given much, just enough for oral, that had to be better than the other options, they'd just use his mouth and be done with it, it wasn't that intimate he'd tasted gross things before.

The world blurred around him as he zoned out, opening his mouth with great reluctance, and closing his eyes, this would prevent him from preparing, but it would also prevent him from having to witness his own violation.

He gagged as they thrust into his mouth, sent spiraling by disgust and shame alone, it didn't even hurt, it wasn't that bad, it couldn't be that bad.
They weren't even trying to overpower him, they wouldn't stand a chance, if they tried he could just bite them and put an end to this, and thus him not doing so would make this his choice, even if compliance made him feel like he was being attacked.

He barely even noticed when they came, at least they had shit stamina. He coughed as they pulled out, trying to clear the disgusting taste and texture of semen, only for them to clasp their hand over his mouth, their vile expression enough to have him whimpering, as if he was utterly helpless. But he wasn't help, that was impossible, he was far bigger and stronger, he had control here, this was his doing, even if he wanted to pull away now, it wasn't their fault that he remained frozen in barely disguised panic.

Sebastian did not want to comply, this was filthy, but he did so regardless, muffled pathetic whine slipping free as he forced himself to swallow, having to try a few times, as he kept gagging, body simply refusing to do what he needed it to.
Once he did, the expendable pulled back, and he backed up, trying to resume his usual position, make it seem like this hadn't affected him in the slightest.

“You'll have to pay extra for that.”

—

It was a bit of a struggle to clean up the vomit now in his shop before anyone else arrived. He had managed to hold himself together until the last customer left, and had then promptly purged everything within his stomach, nearly throwing up a second time at the white splotches he could see among the puke.
At the end of the day, it was a fairly simple problem to fix, merely requiring some rags, a bit of hard work, and a whole lot of willpower.

He was still hunched over trying to get the last few specks as two more expendables entered his shop. At first, they were merely looking at the items on his tail, allowing Sebastian a glimmer of hope, until they caught sight of the sign, and shot into a flurry of excited chatter.

“You think we have enough?”
“Not for the both of us, no.”
“Damn, what's the cheapest thing?”
“Oral, but look at its teeth, I'm going nowhere close to that.”
“So, standard? We'll have some to spare, hold on, I have an idea!”

They turned to him.

“How much for one of us to watch and fap as you get fucked?”
“...200.”
“Best I can do is 100.”
“Fine…”

Sebastian reluctantly agreed, feeling as if he was being ripped off, but it was better than nothing, he'd set up proper prices for voyeurs later, but right now he simply needed the data, and would take what was offered.

Once more, he took the position he found most comfortable for this, struggling to calm his nerves as the one who was presumably going to be doing most of the action stepped forward.

They didn't waste time, as he was expecting, merely unzipping their pants, grabbing the lube and one of the condoms offered, and got right to lining themself up.
Maybe he preferred it like this, that meant he didn't have to think all too much about what was happening, and it was over with quicker.

Despite them having lathered their cock in lube, he still whined when they pushed in, not out of any sort of pain, but out of a deep seated terror and misery. He just had to hang in there, get this over with, quick and easy, nothing else.

The expendable shot him a look of understanding and pity, and he didn't know if that made things better or worse. On one hand he needed every shred of kindness they felt like showing him, on the other hand, such a look indicated that they fully knew the suffering they were causing and still chose to continue.

“Just try to relax, focus on something else, or don't focus at all, it makes things easier.”

At least they decided to give him some advice, something that might actually work and help, though he doubted their motives, it was unlikely they were being compassionate, probably doing this for their own enjoyment, which he understood, he wouldn't want the prostitute he was fucking to start crying if he were them either.

He found he didn't exactly care about their motives, because if it helped, then he'd happily take what they said to heart.

Sebastian turned his attention to a little corner in his shop, there was nothing special there, but it was something to focus on that wasn't the disgusting sight and sound of his own violation.
The world was blurry, far too fast yet far too slow, sensations both distant and the only thing he could feel. This couldn't be healthy, he knew that, but it helped with building a mental barrier between his mind and body, allowing him to every so slowly construct the means to seperate from the reality of what was happening.

Distantly, he wondered what exactly it was that was happening to him, it wasn't simply sex, that label didn't seem to fit, but it also couldn't be rape, he wasn't kicking, screaming, trying to fight these expendables off, something he could have definitely done, nor had he said no, he was going along with this, that had to mean it wasn't rape.
He couldn't help the pang of guilt that sparked within him at the fact that he had even considered the thought, disgusted by the fact that he'd accuse others of a crime so heinous when this was all of his own accord, just because he didn't like it didn’t mean it was rape.
They had paid for this, and he had accepted, that must make it okay.

He closed his eyes and tried to pretend nothing was happening as the expendable within him came, grateful for the barrier provided by the condom, meaning he didn't have to worry about ever touching their repulsive semen.
They pulled out, giving him a quick pat on the tail as they did so, the closest thing to kindness he had received in a long while. The touch had him both flinching and yearning for more, frightened of more harm befalling him, yet yearning for more touch that didn't come with the intent to hurt.

“I'll put in a good word for you!”

They promised, perhaps meaning to be friendly with bringing him more customers, yet the remark made Sebastian want to beg them not to. The data he collected from this was good, and he had no other options, yet he still distantly hoped this business venture would be a failure, just so he'd never have to do this again.

Instead, hoping he didn't sound as miserable as he was, he gave the two a kind goodbye as they left.

“Pleasure doing business with you!”

Chapter Text

Every single day seemed to get harder, time passing in a miserable blur as Sebastian retreated further into his mind.

The skill level of expendables coming through here seemed to be reaching an equilibrium at least, all getting close to finishing their assigned task, yet none succeeding.
He was relatively safe for now, his worries about someone getting away with the crystal and destroying all his work still present, but less intense, buried beneath entirely new concerns and far more pressing concerns.

He was currently trying his very best to clean himself and relax in a shallow patch of water, coming from a leaking pipe above, flowing into a decently sized spring that had formed itself in the rubble filled hole that used to be the floor of this room.
He felt absolutely disgusting, and was in desperate need of a bath. He hadn't really felt the need to before, as he didn't pick up all too much dirt natural and didn't want to waste time in leaving his shop, now when tormented by the disgusting bodily fluids expendables saw fit to leave in or on him, well his skin crawled at the thought of keeping that on him longer than was necessary.

Sebastian was scrubbing at his tainted form so hard that it hurt, and yet still it felt as if he was making no progress, the nudity required to take a proper bath nearly being enough to send him into a panic, made him feel exposed and far too vulnerable. Logically he knew clothing offered him no extra protection, nor did he need it, if anyone tried to harm him he could tear them to shreds within seconds.. but he'd been feeling painfully vulnerable as of late, as if far more small and fragile than he actually was.

But he wasn't vulnerable, he was a monster, a disturbing beast to be feared, and a tool to be used at best, these recent experiences had only served to remind him of that fact.

Nobody cared how he felt, they shouldn't, either didn't bother with anything but taking advantage of him, or merely shushed him so he wouldn't be a nuisance.
At least he hadn't encountered anyone actively malicious so far.

He tried to reflect on some of the funnier experiences, even if the most humorous and pleasant encounters had still been deeply distressing, maybe he could try and laugh at the fools.
Some of the expendables that bought his services knew embarrassingly little about the workings of both sex and his anatomy, one or two had even insisted on weird animal dirty talk, ranting about claiming him, calling him their mate, that kind of stuff, acting all high and mighty as if they weren't that bad at fucking that he could just zone out with ease.

Unfortunately, his thoughts were spiraling again, going from the nearly amusing to the gross, those that stuck with him for less than positive reasons.

Most expendables were easy to deal with, quick fuck, get paid, send them about their day, maybe with a few supplies if they saw fit to buy more…but some.. some were absolutely disgusting.

A small group had asked him to lay on the ground, as low as he could, kneeling before their feet, and they had seen no issue with repeatedly coating him in layers of semen.
He could count it a small blessing that he had merely been a passive participant during that, merely a doll to be played with, and they had paid very well, but afterwards he had to find out the hard way that it was pretty damn difficult to get cum out of his hair.

Once, a specific expendable had refused to pull out in time, he had wanted to scream, bite, tear them away from him, but he had frozen up, was unable to do anything as they finished inside.
They had been kind enough to pay extra and left shortly after. He must have slumped there on the ground, panicked and sobbing, for up to an hour before he finally collected himself and nearly gave himself internal injuries with his frantic effort to get their semen out right there and then.

With a sigh, Sebastian soon realized he was crying once more, his tears not locked away in memories alone, and laid the upper part of his trembling body down on the edge of the dirty spring.
He was ridiculously tired, both his mind and body spent, he needed some proper rest desperately. Even in his misery, he managed to relax enough to let his eyes drift shut, knowing a quick nap would do him good, that was at least until;

“Hey, you're that shopkeeper, aren't you?”

He shot up the second he heard someone speak, scrambling to sink into the water to hide his body, only his head peeking out. He tried not to seem as startled as he was.
Down the hall stood an expendable, a relatively big man, surprisingly well groomed, appearance neat and tidy for a prison sent down to a monster filled underwater hell hole.
Their smile was kind and inviting, though Sebastian knew better than to trust them.

“...that would be me.”

He spoke up slowly, cautiously, quiet in his efforts to keep his voice even, tail swaying behind him in light agitation.

They approached, plopping themself down by the water's edge.

“People pay you for sex, yea?”

Right, of course that was what this was about, word had gotten around, and now people were even looking for him outside of his shop, great.
He shouldn't be glaring at them like they had just insulted his entire lineage, they had merely asked a question, and they had been correct in their assumption as well, yet he still couldn't suppress that reaction born of misery and shame.

“I have been getting into that recently..”
“Right, right, I have a question about that actually! Someone told me about your prices, but they're pretty vague, and don't really apply to what I want… so.. I'd like some clarification.”

Sebastian was staring, he knew that, ear fins pinned back in an animalistic display of unease. What could they possibly want that he hadn't listed?
He hoped it was something fairly innocent, a mere oversight, but he knew some expendables were freaks and were into some weird shit that he just had to decline.
Hell, he'd even had one guy come up to him and ask to pee on him, he had to shoo them away within seconds, because he was absolutely not doing that. He just hoped this one wouldn't be similar.

He stayed quiet, a nonverbal prompt for them to continue.

“I want to get you off.”

What.

He froze, not able to bring himself to speak for a few seconds, trying to process what the hell they had just said, whether they had truly meant what he thought they meant, surely they didn't, surely-

They must have noticed his immense confusion, as they spoke up again with a chuckle.

“I'm assuming nobody has cared to think of your pleasure? I think you're cute, and I want to see how you'd react while beneath me, coming your brains out.”

They spoke far too casually for this, leaving Sebastian completely unsure as to how to respond.

Should he charge extra for this? Seeing as he found it far more unpleasant to deal with the sensations he'd have to deal with. Or should he charge less? As they would be doing all of the work.
No he definitely couldn't charge less for this, as he knew it wouldn't be a good experience for him.
More data it was then.

“Standard pricing, plus some extra.”

The expendable pulled the data they had collected from their pocket, flipping through files, double checking clusters of USBs and vials, they were carrying quite a lot.

“Good, good, I should have enough for that!”

They handed him a stack, which he cautiously put to the side, safely away from the water, he couldn't afford to get any of this wet. He didn't look to check whether they had scammed him or not, it looked like enough, even a little more than what he was planning on asking for, so he wouldn't complain.

“Get out of the water, would you? I want better access. Let's get you sat up against a wall or something.”

Reluctantly, and avoiding eye contact the entire time, Sebastion lifted himself from the safety of the spring, doing as instructed.
This was not a particularly comfortable place to sit, but at least he could get himself somewhat relaxed, not having to worry about falling over while they went about what they were planning.

His tail was laid out in front of him, slit exposed as he leaned back. He took a deep breath as the expendable approached, leaning back and fighting to keep calm, he'd just have to endure, put on a good show, and they'd be gone afterwards.

They placed a hand on his tail, feeling, tracing along scales, headed upwards, towards softer and more sensitive flesh, their touch teasing and sensual, enough to send a shiver down his spine.

They took sight of his slit, a quiet hum slipping free.

“Well, that wasn't what I was expecting, but I can certainly make it work.~”

His face flushed, and he had to turn his head away, not wanting them to see him like this.
Obviously they had expected him to possess more typical male genitalia instead of… whatever this was… even that part of him not spared from mutations.

He closed his eyes as they traced around the sensitive slit, he didn't want to see what was being done to him, feeling and teasing. Despite everything, despite the fact that he didn't want this and was only doing this to get paid, his body still responded.
Trying not to pay attention would soon come back to bite him in the ass, as he had no chance to hold in the sharp breath that escaped him when they cautiously slid a finger in, his shamefully wet walls clenching around the intrusion.

He hated the fact that this felt good, gritting his teeth in an effort to not make any more noise. He knew his efforts would be worthless in the end, this expendable was after his pleasure, and wouldn't stop until they saw him react. Fighting it still made him feel a little better though, gave him the false sense that he still had some control in this situation, thus he put all his effort into not shattering too soon.

They were uncannily good, even if clearly not familiar with his specific anatomy, they had clearly been inside similar things before, and knew just how to look for weak spots, a process absolutely horrible to him, as they caressed each little sensitive spot until they found what they were looking for, a particularly soft patch that had him gasping at even the lightest touch.

Sebastian was trembling, tensing to try and hide that fact, hunched over ever so slightly in an attempt to curl in on himself.
Another stroke had him whining, eyes remaining snapped closed to try and hold back tears, the delicate tips of his cocks poking out of the upper part of his slit, tinted a blue tone and giving off just the faintest little glow to light up the darkish area.

For just a moment, the expendable paused, before smirking and turning their free hand to stroke at his cocks, the one within him now simultaneously continuing with its earlier work.

Once the first whimpering moan escaped Sebastian, he knew he had gone beyond the point of no return, many more following quickly after.

He felt dizzy, struggling to blink away miserable and overwhelmed tears as he was quickly turning into a complete mess within the hands of his tormentor, moans shifting to cries as they sped up, now relentlessly tormenting but his cocks and the soft spot they had found, motions without mercy, leaving him spasming around their fingers, squirming where he sat.

He was panting, unable to catch his breath as he rapidly grew close against his will, fighting back the urge to sob, he was well aware that some were rather uncomfortable with him crying, said it was a turn-off to know he wasn't genuinely enjoying himself, and had even demanded refunds, thus he tried to keep it together so he'd still get paid properly after this.

With a high and shuddering gasp, prefaced and followed by a flow of whimpers, he came, semen splattering onto his belly, dripping down to coat the expendable's hand.
This was disgusting, he was disgusting, he didn't even take a second to come down from this high to immediately start hating himself for this.

At least they were somewhat merciful, pulling back before they could drive him into overstimulation.
He risked a quick glance as they inspected their hand, before bringing it up to their mouth and taking a swift little lick, sampling his taste, taking a few moments to consider before whispering.

“...delicious..”

Sebastian wanted to throw up, quietly gagging, but keeping everything in, he couldn't puke in front of customers.

He felt like a lifeless toy as they gave him a quick and superficially comforting pat on the tail.

“You did very well, I'm sure we'll see eachother again soon.”

No, please no, he did not want to have to deal with this again. But he didn't vocalize his thoughts, merely curling in on himself, and glaring at them with a visceral and unquestionable hatred, the few words he spoke a sharp hiss.

“Leave, let me be..”

They held their hands up in mock surrender, backing away, until reaching the door and continuing on with their journey.
He made very sure to wait until they were thoroughly gone, until he was sure nobody else was here to bother him, and once alone, he couldn't hold himself in anymore, and cried, his despairing and breaking wails echoing through the surrounding halls.

Chapter Text

Somehow, things just kept getting worse and worse. Sebastian could feel his life spiraling out of control rapidly, pushed onward by little moments of madness, and he had no way of stopping it.
The option to stop this was thoroughly gone by now, barely anyone came by for his supplies anymore, word had gotten out about his new job, and interest in that had peaked.

With every little boundary broken, every tiny under discussed violation, he sunk deeper into this horrible fate. There was no going back now, either his plans worked and he'd escape, or he'd break in his efforts.

He couldn't suppress a miserable sigh as yet another expendable made their way into his shop, which was starting to look and smell like a nasty motel room every single day, an utter mess, stinking of despair, sweat, and sex.

Sebastian didn't bother making eye contact, he didn't want anyone to see him like this, pretending they couldn't see him if he didn't seem them was just about the easiest way to cope with that.
His voice was ever so slightly raspy as he spoke, low with exhaustion.

“What do you want.”

It was more of a statement than a question, he knew full well what they want, he was just engaging in some talk beforehand, clients always found it harder to get right to things when not prompted, and he didn't exactly need the awkward mess of some virgin trying to sputter out of they wanted to smash as politely as they could.
At least this guy didn't seem to need any sort of extra prompting, stepping forward within seconds, the smirk nearly audible in their tone.

“Oh you know exactly what I want, baby.~”

They were already touching him, cold and rough hands trailing down his tail, unsettling and merciless, drifting suspiciously close to scars.
In the past, he might have backed off, hissed at them to get away, even just outright killed them, they hadn't paid yet, so he shouldn't be going along with this. But that fight had long since dissipated, it had been a firm boundary at first, no touching without paying, but everyone simply kept doing it, the tiniest little grazes, soon he couldn't waste his energy to snap at all of them, thus letting more and more slip, as long as he got paid in the end.

“Fine, you can see the prices,” he gestured vaguely at the sign, which had long since been filled with a far longer list of prices and terms, seeing as plenty of guys down here had freaky kinks, and he had to set up proper listings for things that came up more than a few stray times, “hope you can afford it.”

They seemed mildly offended at that.

“What, do you think I'm broke?”

Sebastian didn't bother with an answer there, he knew their type, insecure and edgy, best thing to do was not bother with answering, they'd take it out on him no matter what he said in response regardless, exactly what this guy seemed intent on doing.

“Oh, a little brat aren't you then? Master will teach you a lesson.~”

Ew. Ew. Triple ew. He barely managed to stop himself from cringing in response to just how repulsive their words were, they made him want to shrivel up and die, made him almost wish he had never been born so he could have never learned to comprehend what they were saying.

Regardless of his own disgust, he let them continue, they were a paying customer, as long as he could just zone out and let this happen, everything would be fine.

That was at least until they grew bolder, and he couldn't help but actually flinch when they traced along a deep scar on his tail.
The touch sparked unpleasant memories, leaving him almost able to see and feel the cold touch of researchers cutting him apart piece by tiny piece, his breath hitching before he had time to suppress the reaction, he couldn't allow himself to panic, not here, not now, yet his effort to calm down were useless as they expendable had not yet stopped…. In fact, they seemed to be relishing in his reaction, eager to see just where they could push to send stress rocketing down his spine.

“T..that'll..if you want to..- pay extra!”

Sebastian struggled to get the words out, wanting to communicate that if they were going to fuck with him, he'd want something in return.

“Awhh, don't worry, baby, I'll pay you real well. There's no need to cry about it.”

Was he?- yup. As he brought his hand up to his face to feel, it was damp, just a little, but undeniably there.

“You can keep up those tears if you want to, it's hot as hell.~”

That simultaneously made him want to cry more and hide every single hint of tears he had ever shed. It was degrading, horrible, sparked a familiar wave of sheer despair, and overloaded him with the desire to hide his every weakness so they could never get off to his misery again.

They didn't push the issue, and he would have sighed in relief if they weren't moving on to the actual meat of the act, cock whipped out, which they were now rubbing up against his tail, teasing and taunting, drifting along his slit.

He almost chose to just demand payment here and now, have them stop until they proved they had the data needed to go about this how they currently were, no protection, no lubrication, nothing.
In the end, he decided against speaking up, doing so before had lost him clients, often it made them reconsider if they were truly willing to waste data on this, and had them backing off in turn, both a relief and a curse.

Looking away didn't feel like enough, he wanted to tear his damn eyes out so he'd never have to see the way they were staring at him again, expression drowned with a disgusting and predatory lust.
He sucked in a deep breath as they forced themself in, teeth gritted as to prevent him from crying out in pain, this hurt, at least he could demand they pay extra for this.

The expendable wasted no time in getting right to things, pounding into Sebastian with an eager violence, huffing with the effort, it nearly seemed like they were trying to hurt him, he wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

Zoning out like he usually did was difficult, as they just kept tracing over scars and scrapes, waves of terror that he had thought long buried resurfacing with each touch or biting remark.

“Fuck!- you're one hell of a freak! At least you're useful for something!-”

He'd never admit it out loud, but that stung, every move they made served to put him in the place of nothing but an object to be used, every comment a taunt, poking and prodding at his deepest insecurities.

They seemed to enjoy the hints of misery he let slip, so he let himself go just a little, not too much weakness, just a fraction, if he let everything out he felt he'd just break, instead he silently cried, trembling beneath their touch, the occasional whine slipping out with particularly harsh thrust.

It worked, luckily it worked, pushing them onward with a flurry of curses, cock throbbing within him as a response to his stress, something that made him want to throw up the little scraps he had managed to force himself to eat today, but at least it was a sign they were getting close.

It didn't take the expendable much longer to cum after that, dirty nails scraping against his tail as they pulled themself closer, their semen stinging and far too hot within him, this time he did nearly throw up, left gagging and dry heaving, body yearning to get rid of the toxic intrusion in any way it could.

They pulled out soon enough, a small mercy, even if they did see fit to slap his slit has hard as they possibly could on the way out, eliciting a startled and pained yelp, he was feeling way too sensitive for something like this.

Sebastian put on the best glare he could currently manage, wiping away tears and angling his tail away so they wouldn't be able to see their cum oozing out, and got to the most important part, actually getting paid.

“You'll have to-”
“Chill out! I have the data, I'm not that much of an asshole!”

They appeared a bit grumpy as they rummaged through their stuff, occasionally referencing the price board to figure out just exactly what their actions had cost them, which was quite a lot. Had they hoped to break him? Stress him out enough to keep him from sassing back? That was likely, he knew their type, far too familiar with those like them, both now among their fellow expendables, as well as some of the urbanshade employees he had to deal with back in the day, eager to tame and control, only seeing his resilience as a challenge.

They handed over the data wordlessly, which he of course counted thoroughly, he was not about to get ripped off after all of that. Everything seemed to be in order, all necessary data accounted for, even with some extra, either a tip or a mistake, he wasn't going to question it either way, data was data, and he wasn't going to make them question giving him a little more than needed.

With his apparent approval they left, one last comment surely enough to haunt him for ages.

“See you again soon!”

—

Sebastian did not want to admit it, but that one tint remark stuck with him for the next few days, nearly the only thing he could think about. Whether he was scavenging, selling wares, servicing clients, that one remark stayed present in the back of his mind, a constant worry.

He didn't want to acknowledge how badly the encounter had affected him, they had made him feel horrible, and they had enjoyed it, digging up so much that he meant to keep hidden.

He was now once more plagued by memories he had done his best to force away, both old and newer, had started flinching at touch, had made a habit of crying himself to sleep each night. All he wanted was to get out of here, what had he done to deserve this?

Today many expendables passed him by without asking for any more intensive services, more so going for his wares, many buying just a bit more than was necessary out of sheer pity, something he both hated and was wildly grateful for.
Just from their looks alone he could tell that they knew he was absolutely exhausted, slowly breaking, what little light was left draining from his eyes with each encounter, bags dark and heavy, he must have looked like he was ill.

Sebastian's luck that day wouldn't quite hold up, as soon enough he was met with the sound of what he quote possibly hated most, clambering into his shop, chattering, one voice rising above the other, the voice of the one that had dented his will so thoroughly last time, now accompanied by three other expendables.

Once in, they seemed cheery enough, something that couldn't possibly be good, their teammates already producing stacks of data before they even had a chance to speak.

“Good to see you again, I've brought some friends this time!”

He sighed, tired, but knowing he was unable to escape this fate.

“I can't say I'm able to return the sentiment, what do you want?”

“Oh I think you know what I want, some buddies of mine were tagging along this run, told them all about you, and they wanted to have a turn.~”

In response, he merely looked away, the action or getting himself into position now far too familiar. Lower himself, try to relax, look the other way, and just take it. It sounded easy when laid out like that, just a few steps for easy cash.
He didn't have to say a word for the original expendable to step forward, the rest of their team cheering them on, at least he wouldn't have to speak to them to get them going.

Within seconds, they were already rubbing their cock up against him, something that didn't even get a visible reaction out of him anymore, in the past he always used to cringe, but he was far too used to it by now.
They were speaking, and he was only half processing their disgusting words.

“Hell yea, that's it, I bet you missed me, you must have, sat over here yearning to have that ugly freakish cunt fucked, it's the only thing you're good for after all.~”

Every word stung, and he tried to deny it, he knew they were just going about their twisted form of dirty talk, he had not missed them in the slightest, and he liked to believe he could do far more than just sex. Still, it all cut deep, he was already struggling with viewing himself as a monster, a freak, so to just have someone confirm all those worries to his face did end up affecting him.

“J..just, just put it in, and get it over with, asshole!”

The way his voice sounded was humiliating, ripe with despair, cracking and wet, already easily giving away the fact that he was about to cry again.

“Oh, eager, aren't you?”

He tried to snap back, but they forced their cock in when he did so, and whatever sassy remark he had been preparing dissolved into a distressed whimper, truly embarrassing, it had him feeling like he was about to die, unable to bear the fact that four people were looking at him suffering like this, unable to take a simple fuck without falling apart.

“There you go, much better, at least I know how to shut you up, beast!”

They were already moving, relentless, some of the expendables currently standing by also working to undo their pants, with amount of data provided they'd most likely have a turn later as well, but it seemed they didn't feel like waiting too long and had gotten right to masturbating at the sight of his suffering.

Sebastian felt he should be used to this by now, he wasn't, especially as the group's leader found more and more ways to poke and prod at his sanity, fishing for remarks that got the biggest reactions, honing in on those, laying every single one of his insecurities and worries bare, and mocking him for them relentlessly.

They were still talking as they sped up, close, words interrupted by panting, each comment hurting just as much as their thrusts.

“Yeah!- fuck- that's it! Just a monster, Made to be used!- you were made for this!-”

He couldn't suppress a tiny sob in time, and was startled by the fact that they nearly instantly came in response, leaving him a shuddering and dirtied mess.
It wasn't long before another expendable took their place, resuming the torment, at least it didn't hurt as much this time, as he was already stretched open somewhat, and their cum seemed to act as a form of lubricant, but that didn't mean it was pleasant, still as miserable and degrading as before.

Just one round had him crying, he couldn't stand the thought of all of these men taking turns, but as he looked over to the pile of data laid out on the table, he reminded himself that he had no other option, even if he questioned whether all of this was really worth it.

By the end of this, everything ached, they had maneuvered him into all kinds of positions, dug up a variety of insults he had never even considered, used him over and over again for their own enjoyment, it felt like it had been an eternity, even if logically he knew every expendable had just neatly taken one round, and then backed away to watch, even four seemed infinite.

With the ease of individuals who didn't care in the slightest about how he was doing, they left, a few shooting taunts at him through the vent, all of which he was too tired to hear, curling up into a miserable little ball, slit dripping with far too much fluid.

He needed to rest now, he didn't even bother with the data, merely sobbing until he passed out once more.

Only hours later, once the expendables were firmly gone, would he wake up to discover that they had only paid about half of what they were supposed to.

Chapter Text

Sebastian had a lot of time to think lately, and he absolutely hated it, trying to find anything he could to keep his mind occupied.
He went out more, scavenging for items, almost always conveniently when he estimated the next group of expendables would come around.
He had since come to the firm conclusion that this was absolutely not worth it, but he was in too deep, there was no stopping now, his stuff was barely getting bought anymore, only a stray battery or flashlight here and there, mostly out of pity or politeness, most if not all with strings attached.

He really wished he could just stop, this was maddening, but if he wanted freedom ever again he just had to hang in there, besides, he couldn't just stop now, not after everything, that would throw all his efforts into the trash, the thought of having done all of this for absolutely nothing was worse than what he could imagine coming from continuing.

Today was simple, repetitive as always, go out for a quick dip, somewhere a bit more private now just to be sure nobody could find him, scrub himself until he bled and still feel dirtied, get out, go looking for supplies and loose data, easy and effective.

Everything seemed fine, it was fine, even, nobody took the time to harass him, helped by the fact that he stayed mostly out of sight, but that would all come crashing down as he arrived back at his shop, and found someone waiting inside.

An expendable, duh, bulky and ragged from a lifetime of crime, covered in a wide variety of prison tattoos, flaunting murders and bad behavior. This was someone who knew how to hold their own, was not to be fucked with, and they were greeting him with a smile.

“Hey, you're back! How much do I need to pay to choke you?”

Sebastian sputtered, for a moment baffled at their forwardness, they were eager to get into this, weren't they? They looked like they had been waiting for hours, yet still hadn't read the sign, which clearly displayed his prices.
He gestured at the sign like they were an idiot, which they probably were, before coming to the conclusion that they were probably unable to see very well, as one eye was mangled by a nasty scar, and the other looked strangely blurry.

“300 to choke me while we fuck, making 2300 in total.”

At the realization that they couldn't quite see, he decided to elevate his prices a little, they'd been waiting a while, were eager, and appeared to have enough to pay him half a fortune, he figured they'd easily accept if they didn't know he was jacking up the price.

“Deal!”

He was right, they took the offer cheerfully, and he got right into his usual position, only to be interrupted.

“Get on your back, would you? I want you beneath me.”

Sebastian resisted the urge to snap back, but that wouldn't do him any good, he knew that, so instead he just did as told, going along with it no matter how much he hated it, hissing out a slightly heightened price, he at least wanted to be paid well for this.

“2400.”

The expendable rolled their eyes in return, though seemed to agree as they didn't fight, instead spending their time clambering onto his tail, a task still somewhat difficult due to the fact he was still slightly wet, and thus quite slippery.
Unfortunately, they managed, this position having him feeling once more like a weak toy, completely beneath them, at the mercy of whatever they might want, he half regretted accepting their request for choking.

They struggled a bit with their outfit, taking a while to properly get their pants out of the way, a whole minute or two going by before their cock was finally out in the open, and he truly wished it wasn't.

Either they were just incredibly impulsive, had been dared to do some wild things, or were a complete freak, seeing as they had seen fit to rather thoroughly pierce their genitals, thing barely recognizable as a regular dick anymore through the barbells and metal ornaments, he absolutely did not want to think about what that would feel like going inside of him.

At least he could be sure they'd be going at it without a condom considering whatever they tried putting on would undoubtedly rip. He didn't dare jack up the price even more, he was already pushing his luck, they might be partially blind, but they could still get suspicious if he asked for too much.

Soon enough, he wouldn't have to worry about what their cock would be like, as they pushed in with absolutely zero warning, forcing out a startled and pained yelp, Sebastian’s body soon wracked with involuntary shivers at the horrible and completely unnatural sensation.

One thing he definitely hadn't been prepared for was how cold it would be, seeing as there was quite a lot of metal, thoroughly cooled by below average temperatures and chilly water, that sensation alone enough to force him to some limited degree of awareness.
If the fact it felt like someone had shoved an ice cube up his slit wasn't enough to keep him focused, then the way this damn thing seemed to scrape at every inch of his insides, leaving nothing untouched, would most definitely do the trick.

This was all far too overwhelming, and he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to at least block some of it out, some stray tears already falling.
One of the many downsides of their incredibly cursed cock filling him so intensely was the fact that it brushed against every tiny spot, both the spots that hurt, and those that felt disturbingly good, every little move leaving him squirming and panting, ear fins folded back and pinned against his head in a show of distress, something the expendable much to his dismay seemed to like quite a bit.

They were panting as well, already moving fast, sloppy and uncoordinated, a small mercy, they didn't appear to have much stamina.

They were talking, but he was slow to tune into it, mind feeling like a miserable mush.

“Oh you're so cute! Probably the best slut I've been with, real once in a lifetime experience, I'll tell you that-”

Sebastian usually tried to ignore what his clients were saying, none of it was good, all degrading or insulting or even both, even gentle praise so humiliating it made him want to curl up and die. This time, however, their words were the only thing he could focus on besides the horrid mix of pain and pleasure coursing through his used form.

“I bet you're curious how I ended up here, huh?”

For a second, he thought it almost ridiculous that they seemed to want to ramble on about their life story, but he listened regardless.

“I killed some low life street hooker.~”

Sebastian's heart sank at the words, entire body ice cold with a deep pounding terror, especially as they chose that moment to start with the choking, and wrapped around his throat the very second they confessed to their murder.

Lack of air had him quickly weakening, gasping and peeping out pleas he couldn't quite form, they weren't going easy on him in the slightest, grip crushing, not allowing a single bit of oxygen to spill through. As an instinctual response, his gills flared out, trying to suck in anything that could help, which only proved to do the opposite, wildly ineffective, only worsening his experience, stinging and aching from the failed attempt at taking a breath.

“That's right! Bitch tried to scam me out or my damn money, so I dealt with the problem myself.”

Clawing at the expendable's arms proved ineffective, even while he left bleeding scratches, either they were some kind of masochist, or they genuinely didn't care, crushing his throat beneath their grasp. He was starting to see black spots in his vision.

“Do you know how it feels when someone's pulse stops beneath your hands? It's intoxicating, best thing I've ever felt! Wished I could have enjoyed some more of it, but some snitch nearby had called the cops!”

As they didn't let up, his struggling growing far too weak to do anything, rapidly growing closer to blacking out, he was sure he was going to die here, sure that they had found out he'd tried to trick them.
They had killed before, specifically those that tried to scam them, and he had taken a shot at doing just that.

He didn't want this to be the end, he so desperately did not want to be the end, didn't want to die choked out by some psycho, who was, of course, still actively fucking him.

He tried to cry out, scream for help, one last time, but that only came out as a weak and terrified croak, the last noise he'd ever possibly make.
The last thing he'd think about would be his own misery, lamenting the fact that this was how his life ended up, useless, filled with nothing but suffering, and soon to be forgotten by the few who still remembered him.

—

Sebastian, in all honesty, had not expected to wake up again, yet here he was, vision swimming as his body convulsed with wild coughs, throat more sore than he'd ever felt before.
He didn't understand why he wasn't dead, a small little part of him disappointed by that fact, but he couldn't afford to question it, no matter the reason, he was alive now.

After a few minutes, he took a look around his shop, nothing had been stolen, everything still in place, with the only difference being that something had been added, a pile of data, a glass of water, and a little note thanking him for a good time.

They hadn't known after all, they hadn't figured it out and they hadn't killed him.

He eagerly gulped down the water, it barely helped, but even the slightest difference was welcome, trying to relish the little good things, knowing full well he'd probably be having another breakdown later.

Chapter Text

At the very least Sebastian was getting used to this new routine, it was repetitive, samey, even if it was torturous.
He'd go about his day, and then most of the time when he heard someone coming into his shop he would prepare to get used, most expendables weren't that creative, just wanted a quick fuck, in and out, easy.
Simplicity made it far easier for him to just dissociate, only coming back to deal with the mental and occasionally physical anguish after the act.

So all this led to him expecting exactly the same today, he had no reason to believe he'd ever have a break, no reason to believe in the kindness of people.

Into his shop this time crawled a woman, getting up there in age, possibly around her 50s, paper thin to the degree her uniform was baggy against her form.

He couldn't help but relax slightly, yes, he was aware that anyone regardless of sex, gender, orientation, or whatever else, could still very much hurt him, everyone was a threat here. But more often than not the women had proven to be a bit more trustworthy, barely any of them saw fit to actually use his services.
It was most likely because of incompatibility, he figured, most ladies didn't exactly love the idea of massive sea snake weiners all up in them, intercourse with him was far simpler for the men, but a fair bit of them also refused to take advantage of him on principle.

He half hated the pity filled looks some gave him, heart sinking at the fact that they could easily recognize he was struggling, but he had to take every pit of comfort and sympathy he was offered, and was not about to antagonize anyone that wasn't out to get him.

The first thing this woman did upon entering his shop was cough as if she was hacking up a lung, throat raspy from a life of smoking.
Sebastian didn't want to judge anyone's looks, but she certainly didn't look healthy, weakened and old, he was left baffled by the fact she had even made it that far.

Her somewhat tough and stony expression softened when she took sight of the sign of prices and terms, at that moment he could already feel his world starting to blur in preparation for what was to come, worsening when she produced a fairly sizable stack of data, putting it down on the table.

He was already lowering himself, a learned behavior, getting into position, only to be interrupted by the expendable's voice, just as weathered as he had expected her to sound.

“Hey, you don't have to do that, relax.”

No doubt he was pulling an incredibly confused looking face as he got himself into a more comfortable position, curled up, something that felt way safer, didn't let him be as exposed. She must have noticed the look he was giving her, as she soon sighed and elaborated.

“I don't want anything, maybe just to talk if you don't want to just take it and leave, consider it a donation.”

He opened his mouth to ask the one question on his mind, ‘why’, why was she just giving him this, why was she being so nice, but as he caught sight of her grin, half of her teeth missing and the rest rotting from a lifetime of drug abuse, her resembling the living stereotype of a worn down corner hooker, he knew.

A few tears pricked at his eyes before he had a chance to blink them away and compose himself, and soon enough he was crying openly, finally able to express his misery before someone that truly understood.

She shushed him gently, as one would do to a pet when it was in distress, yet it didn't feel demeaning, instead it felt… almost nice… like someone was finally taking note of his suffering, now trying to help him through it.
Soon enough, she was by his side, hand held out every so slightly.

“Can I touch you?”

That question only had Sebastian crying harder, even while he was trying his very best to just control himself, no one had asked him that in such a long time, it must have been years, a decade even, when someone last asked for his permission to do something.
She even waited for him to answer, proof this wasn't just for show, wasn't just someone playing nice to get their rocks off.

He nodded, the motion distantly fearful, worrying that the second she touched him that all of this would come to an end, she'd decide he was actually rather disgusting, or even worse, decide she wanted to take advantage of him after all.

Despite the rough nature of her skin, scarred and dry and cracked and covered in wrinkles, it was still some of the best affection he could remember receiving since all of this had started, her hand laid cautiously on his tail, only moving with the occasional gentle motion, mere soothing strokes, never trailing too close or getting to intimate like most things he had grown used to.

With barely any hesitation, he dropped down completely, upper body laying on his tail, curled up like a particularly shy snake, and his expression alone pleading for more attention.
Luckily, she obliged, stepping closer and pulling him into her arms. He felt so small like this, but not in the way he usually did, not ashamed, not frightened, and while he did feel vulnerable, he also couldn't help but feel safe, guarded against the evil this place held.

She held him as he cried for a long time, muttering hushed reassurances, consistently knowing exactly what to say, as if picking at his every little weakness, and patching him up instead of tearing him apart like many others.
Meanwhile, she was also fending off anyone that tried to interrupt, the attitude she held towards other expendables a stark contrast to the kindness she was showing him, rough and grating voice doing wonders to scare away anyone that she saw fit to shout at.

All in all, Sebastion, for once, got quite a nice break, an hour or so of no work, of just… existing, finally shown compassion after a marathon of suffering, comfort with no strings attached. It was just about the nicest thing he had experienced since all of this started.

Finally, once his weakening sobs fully subsided, he pulled back a little, chuckling humorlessly, finally able to bring himself to speak.

“God, how are you so good at this?”

She regarded him with a sad little smile, expression speaking of nothing but years of experience, a lifetime of seeing things like this.

“I used to help out some of the younger girls I met, girls that had gotten into this kind of shit through abusive boyfriends, or just to finance drug use, that sort of stuff, you remind me of them, at least you don't have to deal with a pimp.”

The fact that she knew what she was doing most definitely showed, and she must have noticed just how curious he looked, as she wasted no time in just.. talking.

She was good at talking as well, apparently, able to weave tales like an expert, which made sense considering she told him she'd always wanted to be a writer.
She elaborated on her life story, her experiences, the highs and lows, both the funniest and worst experiences. She told him how she had gotten into the field, how others had been pulled in, she'd done it because of a debt to some dangerous people, had actually managed to pay it off and nearly quit, only for that path to be taken away as her pimp had started offering her drugs, which then got her into further debt to fuel that habit.

What he tried to memorize most, however, was her stories of how she coped, some coping mechanisms obviously not very good, things like getting too high to feel anything before a job, but some genuinely effective and even somewhat healthy, perhaps things he could try to replicate.
She was eager to share with him tips for after care, which he took note of, as he wasn't exactly happy with the idea of crying after every single time like he did now.

In total, she stayed around for a solid few hours, even after the talking was done, shop blanketed by a comfortable silence as they both rested.

Soon enough, sadly, she had to leave, and he saw her off with a reluctant goodbye, knowing he'd be unable to stop her journey, even if he knew very well she probably wouldn't make it.

Shortly afterwards, however, he headed out, spirits ever so slightly higher, as he finally had an idea, something that might actually end up working.
It was time to scavenge again, root through leftover scraps lost in the panic of his breakout, and this time he wasn't looking for simple supplies, no, he was looking for something else.

Within an office space was where he found his first haul, a leftover bottle of medication within an employee's drawer, adderall. Sure, it wasn't the best he could get, if he was going to get seriously fucked up he'd need a lot of this, but it was still technically similar to meth, wasn't it? It could do the job of having him actually enjoy himself for once.

Soon enough, pretty close by, he found more pills, it was easier now that he knew where to look, antidepressants, anxiety medication, that kind of stuff, all things he could use.

At the end of the day, the laboratory storage closets and cabinets were the most fruitful, containing a wide variety of drugs, most was unusable, but the sedatives he found would certainly do the trick.

Everything was soon stashed in his shop, carefully hidden behind junk, piled in. He didn't take anything yet, he couldn't, he knew it was a bad idea, but the knowledge that he had something to fall back on in the worst case scenario helped.
Now with a solid collection acquired, he felt quite a bit better, and curled up, eyes drifting closed.
For once, he got a good night's sleep, not plagued by worries or nightmares.

Chapter Text

This lifestyle did eventually appear to get easier for Sebastian, not that that meant it was pleasant in any way, it was most definitely not, but things had been worse.
He got used to it, ability to dissociate from what was truly happening to him growing with every client, the stash of drugs he had hidden away a great reassurance that he always had something to fall back on if this got worse again.

Today's clients had been bland so far, all wanting just about the same, quick fuck, in and out, done within five minutes or so, and he was absolutely not complaining, it was far better than the alternative, he quite liked it when his days were boring, as when they weren't that just meant he got hurt.

That evening (at least he thought it was evening based on the little clock he had snatched early on after the lockdown started) he was packing up to close his shop, items taken off his tail and hidden away as he worked to tidy things up so he could get right back to work tomorrow.

Through his own quiet humming he had failed to take note of the sound of an expendable crawling through the vent leading into his shop, only spotting the fact they were watching him once he turned around and noticed their head poking out.

Sebastian quickly shut himself up, rushing to take on a more professional appearance, welcoming them with a kind and relaxed greeting, one more customer for the day then, and he'd be done.

“Welcome, I was just about to close, but you're right on time!”

As he spoke, he was sizing them up, trying to get a feel for their personality, their strength, what they wanted from him.
They seemed friendly enough, but he knew appearances could be deceiving, keeping his guard up in response. They could hurt him, he knew they could, if they just had the data to pay for it.

“Hi there, sorry for coming in so late, I don't mean to be an ass..”

They paused for a moment, unable to bring themself to look him in the eye. A shy one, then?

“..are… uhm.. Your special services still available this late..?”

Right, of course, he should have expected that, shouldn't have let himself believe they were just here for supplies, it was a false hope. Nobody came for supplies anymore, he hadn't had to go out to restock in two days.

He couldn't hold back a sigh, pretty sure that his expression noticeably dropped. He didn't want to do this, but it was necessary, he couldn't blame anyone but himself, he had put himself in this position.

“..yes, as long as you pay enough, what do you want?”

“”Well you don't seem particularly thrilled.”

They were right, Sebastian's heart dropped at the realization the had spotted his reluctance with such ease. Ashamed, he looked away.

“Does it matter?”

A brief pause. Silence filled the room as both parties tried to figure out what to say, the expendable the first to speak.

“Well… Yes, I don't want you to be uncomfortable. How about we grab something to eat first, just talk a bit? I would have taken you out to a nice restaurant, but I think the cafeteria a few rooms back is the best we'll get, the vending machines still have some stuff in them. I'll pay you extra for your time.”

That did sound a little nicer than them just fucking him right here right now, but it was also worse in it's own unique way, basically going on a date with them beforehand allowed him to dread what was to come, allowed him terror, prevent him from blocking everything out.

“I..I mean.. you don't have to.. I'm just offering, you don't have to do anything you don't want…”

“I'll take you up on that, lead the way.”

His response had them beaming, a smile decorating their face, one that could be taken as kind. With a few stuttered words, as well as some grabbing for a condom and the lube, all needed for later, they scrambled through the vent and out of his shop, waiting for him to follow.
Getting through was a difficult task every single time, he wasn't getting any skinnier, that he knew for sure, reminded of that fact every time he had to squeeze himself through.
It was possible though, as he eventually freed himself with a fleshy pop, giving an affirming nod to the expendable to send them on their way.

It was about a five minute walk to where they decided to take Sebastian, the two of them eventually arriving in a half broken down cafeteria, quite a few of the tables knocked over, and one of the lights flickering in a viscerally annoying manner… how romantic..

They led him to a table, face decorated with a blush as they pulled a chair out for him, debated their actions for a moment, and eventually just tossed the chair aside at the realization that he would most definitely not fit in it.
What they did didn't matter much to him, he just made himself comfortable at the table.

“Just wait here a bit, I'll get us something to eat!”

And with that, they were off, rushing over to the nearest full vending machine, positioned in a side room, leaving him a bit of peace to try and gather himself.

With a deep breath, he fought to calm himself, they were being nice so far, this couldn't be that bad, he doubted they'd go at him as brutally as some did.

The expendable returned with a solid collection of junk food, mostly bags of chips or snacks, some chocolate treats in wrappers. It wasn't much, but it was nice, even if it wasn't particularly healthy.
Along with that, they had brought something which they now set on the table, a tiny little fake candle, flicked on by a little switch to emit just the faintest glow, a mockery of fanciness, but he figured this was the best he'd be getting.

Their haul now laid out on the table, they took a seat opposite to him, fuck, this really did feel like a date. Sebastian took a pack of beef jerky, his body having grown more used to meat than sweets, trying his very best to act like this was completely normal and not putting him in an incredibly awkward position.

This expendable, now looking right at him while munching on some chips, might be treating him kindly, but that didn't mean he wanted to have sex with them.
He could recognize what this really was, this wasn't romance, merely a pretty play put on to make them appear better, this was purely transactional.

This may be nice in some way, a break from the constant misery, but it came with strings attached, he'd have to deal with being violated once more after this was over, the lines of consent blurred to the point he wasn't even sure they existed anymore.
They knew he didn't want this, they knew that very well, he was not looking forward to what was to come regardless of how pleasant the dinner they treated him to was.

The two of them ate mostly in silence, this occasionally interrupted by chatter from the expendable, as they insisted upon the fact that Sebastian might feel more comfortable going forward if they actually knew more about them, which didn't help in the slightest, as he blocked most of that out. He didn't care, he didn't want to get to know them, they were just a client. Still, he usually nodded half-heartedly whenever they saw fit to tell him about some fact related to their interests.

He tried to eat slowly, savor the taste of food, but his mouth felt numb with dread, nothing processing quite right, and he could only draw out the inevitable for so long until the pile of snacks was completely done.

Soon after, they led him over to a new place, a little employee side room that contained a couch, motioning for him to lay down on it.
It was far too small for him, most of his tail hanging off, but he figured it was better than getting pounded into the floor like usual, at least this wouldn't taint his only safe space, his shop, any further.

“Right then let's get to it, I'll go easy on you, don't worry, if you ever want me to stop you can just say so, okay?”

He nodded, despite knowing full well he wasn't going to tell them to stop, as he fully expected them to go and ask for a refund if he did so, it had happened before, he doubted they were saying this for any reason besides the fact that they wouldn't feel as though they were raping him if they did.
No kindness came for free here, he knew better than to assume this was for his sake.

He didn't pay attention as they undid their pants, slipping the condom on and taking hold of the lube. He never looked when clients actually bothered using the supplies provided, he didn't want to see, it only scared him, he'd just let them use him and get this over with.

He didn't even look their way when they lined themself up, staring into nothing and nodding blankly once more when they asked him if he was ready.
He was zoning out completely, even an idiot would be able to recognize that, pushing his mind away from what was happening to his body.

He only winced at the now familiar feeling of something being pushed into him, leaving him feeling ill even in this dissociated state, half hoping they'd just go faster and get this over with, the fact that this didn't hurt almost worse than the pain.

They were talking as they started thrusting, hips colliding with his, what dirty talk they managed severely impacted in quality thanks to the fact they weren't particularly familiar with sex and thus were somewhat getting lost in the sensation.
He knew better than to pay attention to what they were saying, focus drawn to the ticking clock on the opposite wall, though he was sure he heard the expendable blurt out things such as ‘good boy’ multiple times… absolutely vile.. as if he couldn't get objectified and dehumanized any more, he wasn't a damn animal.

Most expendables didn't last long, and this guy wasn't an exception, only able to keep up the pace for about two minutes, Sebastian would know, he was looking at the clock, before eventually cumming, leaving him grateful for the barrier the condom provided, it meant he didn't have to worry about scrubbing his insides raw again.

He was aware that the expendable was trying to speak to him again, having pulled out while he was too out of it to even realize, now busy fixing up their clothing. It didn't matter, nothing except for data mattered now, as long as he got paid, everything was fine, he was fine.

He hoped they'd just go away, leave their payment with him and fuck off back to what they were supposed to be doing, but they didn't leave, now at his side, hand on his hip as they tried to gently shake him, forcing him out of the completely gone state he found himself in.

“Hey, you doing alright there?”

“Huh? Oh.. sure..”

Sebastian's answer was noncommittal, unclear, but they didn't ask further, they wouldn't like the answer, they were simply trying to pretend he was a completely consenting partner that was totally okay with all of this.
He knew that, he wasn't going to prove them otherwise, doing so might have them cheaping out on his pay.

They placed the data necessary neatly beside him, stepping back awkwardly, probably suffering from the worst post nut clarity known to man.

“I'm just going to… go..”

He only acknowledged them with a nod as they left, not looking up, counting through what he had been given.
It was enough, plus a fair bit extra, a small and bittersweet kindness.

Today wasn't that bad then, was it? He was totally fine. He had made quite a lot, had even had a somewhat good time with dinner, and the sex had been easy and simple, he didn't even have to deal with everything hurting in the aftermath, a benefit to not being plowed on the floor.

Maybe he should look into getting something to lie on set up in his shop.

Chapter Text

Another day, another set of wild requests Sebastian had to deal with, he swore the expendables here were getting way wilder, their inhibitions shed thanks to the realization they could do just about anything here. No one was watching, no one was judging, and the cops couldn't bust down the door to break up a prostitution ring down here.

He had found himself turning down way more offers than usual these last few days, it seemed some idiot had spread the word of his work around the wildest circle of freaks down here.
If he ever got out of here, he'd have so many stories to tell, both comedic for curious internet forums, and tales he'd only speak about to an unfortunate therapist.

Just a few hours ago, a group of expendables had come in with the offer to pay him real well if he let them piss on him, an offer he had firmly declined, because no matter how desperate he was he was not desperate enough for that.
At least they had taken it well, hadn't made a big deal out of it, respected his wishes and left, as opposed to some guys.

One dude had asked him to cover up the upper part of his body with a sheet while fucking, pretty normal, easy cash, he would have taken the offer if not for the fact they decided it was a great idea to inform him that they wanted this because they had been wanting to bang an actual fish and his human half ruined that for them.
Yea, he had sent them out after a yelling match, he refused to let himself be used for someone's weird zoophilia fish fetishes.

So when Sebastian took sight of his next customer, he expected the worst. He had yet to have someone that explicitly asked to beat him or something during sex, maybe this guy would be the one.
His theory that this would be a weird and unpleasant encounter was only fueled by the fact that he found this expendable to look quite familiar.
Fun, he was getting repeat customers now.

He held zero memory of what they might have done before, but he knew they had done something, and now they were back for more, looking over his sign of prices, which had now turned into multiple signs, there were far too many things he had to specify and account for now to be able to fit it all on one sign.

“Hey, so the thing that I want is not on here.. does that mean it isn't allowed?”

In response, Sebastian sighed, already expecting them to come up with some crazy shit.

“No, it's probably still allowed, I just haven't ran into enough people to specify it yet, as long as you tell me, we can discuss a price.”

“Well in that case, I want to suck your dicks!”

..ah.
Suddenly he found himself remembering just where he recognized them from. This expendable had been a group before, went along with a good old fashioned gang bang.
Their teammates did all the work that time, and it might have even been a good time if he actually wanted it, they had brought him to orgasm at least once.
What he remembered this guy from specifically was some of the aftermath, where they had stepped close once all was said and done, swiped some cum off his belly, and then promptly licked their hand, expression like that of someone savoring a rare delicacy.

With that in mind, he figured he could probably give them a higher price and still have them accept.

“A thousand to suck me off.”

“I've got two thousand, can I get two rounds?”

A paused, considering, his words of rejection interrupted right before he could get them out.

“I can get you five hundred extra.”

“Deal.”

He was absolutely not a fan of overstimulation, it was possibly one of the things he despised most, combining every worst thing from every other experience perfectly. To say he hated it would be an understatement, to say he'd like to put the idea alone in a box and throw it off the nearest cliff would be an understatement.
But if they were willing to pay extra, then he could put up with it.

He got into position, leaning against the wall with his tail curled beneath him, allowing them access to his slit. He never got used to this, it always felt horrid, left him too exposed and vulnerable, but that was kind of the point, and he knew or no better positions that wouldn't make him look like an idiot.

“Get to work then, they're not getting hard by themselves.”

Just because they were paying him didn't mean he didn't get to sass them.
They didn't take offense to it, that could be considered a positive outcome, merely grinning and meeting them with equal attitude.

“Yessir, I'll get to it.~”

And indeed they did hands drifting towards near the top of his slit, to where they could just barely touch the concealed tips of his cocks, grazing over those gently, at least they remembered where to go, he had experience with some expendables who'd just give some of his folds a vigorous massage that did absolutely nothing for him and then get pissed when he wasn't automatically way into them.

Every so slowly, the blue tinted tips poked out, wiggling like curious worms, still something he wasn't used to. His anatomy was so bizarre now. He had been just a regular guy before, and now here he was, two weird blue tentacle dicks and a pussy. If he had informed his younger self that this would happen he'd probably be institutionalized.

Sebastian hated that this felt good, it wasn't great, especially considering the fact he still did not want this and was merely doing it for money, but it wasn't bad or even neutral, sending just the tiniest unwanted sparks of pleasure down his spine.

With his fins pinned back against the side of his head, eyes squeezed shut so he didn't have to look at what was happening, he resisted the urge to cry for them to stop. He shouldn't be so scared, it was stupid, this was only happening because he was allowing it to happen, there was no reason he should be overreacting, yet the thought of sex alone made him want to sob.

He didn't even have to do anything, it was no big deal.

A pathetic squeal escaped Sebastian’s mouth as the expendable sunk their head down onto his cocks, not taking him all too deep, but most definitely doing enough to draw out a reaction.

It was overwhelming, disgusting, felt so terribly good. He both wanted them to stop and wanted to shove their head down all the way so he could finally enjoy something distantly nice.

A few little tears made their way down his cheeks, a reaction of misery, though of course they interpreted this as them being really good at what they were doing, driving them onward.

He hated the noises that escaped him, pants and gasps and animalistic whimpers, sensation leaving him with nothing to do but squirm and whine like a kicked dog.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, for him, this expendable was pretty skilled at what they did, this more so being thanks to the fact they worked well with trial and error, able to seek out just the right ways to move, the right places to run their tongue, to draw the most dramatic of reactions out of him.

They were relentless in their efforts, going at it like they were trying to suck him dry, milk him for all he was worth, which was undeniably what they were going for.

Sebastian's hands shot down, clutching at their hair as one more skillful twist of their tongue had him practically cumming buckets into their mouth, shuddering involuntarily, tail nearly twisting itself into knots as he gasped frantically for air, hips bucking towards their face as his body cried for more.

They were briefly left choking, trying to swallow everything down, but they managed, pulling away the second he'd let them, though they still remained mere inches from sinking right back down, somehow appearing menacing despite their position.

For a few seconds, they were just licking their lips, cleaning up some spilled drops, not wanting to waste even the tiniest bit.

“Give me a moment, this is a lot.”

Sebastian didn't need to be told twice, he'd prefer a little break as well.

While they rested, he did something he'd prefer he wouldn't have to do, which was taking hold of his cocks, the aching appendages already practically crying to retreat back to safety. He doubted they'd be able to get him hard again if he gave himself a proper break.

He didn't really do much besides hang tight, the sensation of ‘too much’ fading ever so slightly, a small mercy, at least they were letting him recover from his orgasm a little bit.

This mercy, sadly, wouldn't last forever, as soon they were in proper shape to get right back to it, having disposed of all they had managed to suck out of him before and now ready for more. Hell, the freak would have probably done this forever if not for the fact they had to pay.

They gave him zero warning before enveloping his poor cocks once more, drawing a humiliating sound from him, somewhere between a long moan and a struggling winded exhale.
The world felt like it was spinning, everything an overwhelmed blur.

Once more his hands clutched their hair, not to push them onward, not to pull them away, but simply to ground himself. At least they seemed to like it, a muffled moan reverberating throughout their throat as they swallowed him as deep as they could, that extra bit of vibration only adding more unwanted and sickening pleasure.

“Fuck- h..hold on- please- a moment- t..too much.. it's too much-”

Sebastian didn't even realize he was speaking until he could feel the words scraping through his throat, choked out among overwhelmed tears, every sentence sounding more like a sob than speech.

Still, the expendable didn't stop, and he wasn't sure if he should be grateful for that. The words had been involuntary, just like basically anything involving sex was for him these days, but he had meant them. At least if they just continued he wouldn't have to give them a refund.

His muscles were clenching painfully in response to the sensations washing over him, every part of his body impossibly tense, miserable cries slipping through gritted teeth, yet he couldn't bring himself to pull them away, focus entirely set on the data he'd gain from this, it was necessary, he just had to hang in there.

With the fact that his body was interpreting every touch as impossibly intense, he was able to bring himself to cum again rather quickly, mind set to just doing so already and getting it over with, like he could will himself to orgasm. His mental pleading might have hurried him up a little, he didn't know, but it didn't matter in the end.

While the last one had been accompanied by fairly basic gasps, this one had him practically screaming, desperate and suffering cry ringing out rather far, surely spooking away any nearby creatures, none of the other beings down here wanting to find out what had managed to hurt him this much firsthand.

It took him all his strength to not topple over the second they pulled away, completely spent, now thoroughly deciding that if anyone asked for this later on he'd tell them to go fuck themselves, because he had absolutely hated this, hadn't even been able to zone out, an aware participant in his own abuse, this event finding a nice home among his rapidly growing stash of trauma.

The expendable who had done this to him was promptly scared away with sharp hisses and biting words, a weak defense to hide his misery, he couldn't let them see how much this had affected him.

With the payment put on the table, they left, and Sebastian immediately took to looking through the files among the pile, he needed something to put his mind to work, and he needed reassurance, needed to find something worthwhile that would have him feeling better about himself.

What he found was… a bunch of absolute nothing.
Construction plans, passwords to sectors with doors long broken open, list of useless chattering emails between bored employees, nobody would be interested in this.

With a wild cry, he chucked the useless data right at the nearest wall, and collapsed, curling into a little sad ball, anger fading just as fast as it came, too tired to hold onto his rage.

With absolutely nothing gained but more horrible memories, he gave up for the day, once more crying himself to sleep, something he was growing used to.

Chapter Text

Sebastian had been feeling… worse than usual, an ever present sense of paranoia trailing him everywhere he went, whether he was safe within his shop, scavenging to fill up his various stashes, or just hiding out anywhere private, the consistent feeling of being stalked remained.
Along with that, he'd been dealing with a particularly bothersome customer as of late, a rather average man, they would have been fairly unassuming if not for the fact they were very clearly obsessed with him.

They had been the first expendable he had been able to consistently identify as a repeat customer, turning up every few days with more data and eyes hazy with lust and desire. They had even been the first in a while to actually buy his document, and had chosen to read through it entirely right in front of him, eventually paying extra to be allowed to jack off while they read, which he had reluctantly accepted, as he needed the data, even if the clear implication that they were getting off to what had happened to him made him hate them even more.

All in all, things could have been better, but at least the data was flowing in consistently, and he was pretty sure the paranoia was just thanks to his rapidly declining mental state. He'd bet that everyone who did the same job he was doing were also plagued by the burning sensation of being watched as a result.

Right now he was out and about, on a trip to find just about anything he could use. He had nothing in particular in mind, but he'd grab just about anything he could take advantage of, whether that be supplies, drugs, or even some toys left behind my particularly frisky staff members, he didn't care, it all worked fine for him.
So far he had gotten his hands on some batteries and a flashlight, not much, but it was better than nothing. The flashlight he could sell, the batteries he could keep around got anything he found that might need them.

Along with that, he had found something in a desk, a pack of small pills, birth control, the tiny dots innocent and colored a warm pink, which he near immediately snatched.
Upon looking inside, he could see most of the pill strips were still fairly full, this hadn't been used much before it got left behind, would last him at least a month or so.

He should probably start taking these, shouldn't he? How did these work again?
He had never bothered gathering much information regarding the intricacies of birth control, as it had been irrelevant for most of his life, but right now…? Well better safe than sorry.
He'd get to it this evening then, one a day the package said, so he should probably make it a routine, he was lucky enough to not end up pregnant or something already, and while he doubted that he actually could, he didn't want to risk it.

He figured these would be fairly easy to find, both just in the desks of female employees and in the rooms where medication was stored, as this was probably the most used kind of medication in the entire blacksite, which was now very convenient for him.

… As he turned to stuff the recently found pills into one of his pouches, he could have sworn he saw someone shifting to hide behind a corner.
It couldn't possibly- no, no one would be stupid enough to actually try and stalk him, he could kill anyone that tried to with ease, anyone would be able to recognize that, he didn't even get up to anything interesting, who would want to watch that?

It must just be some expendable that had accidentally stumbled across him and ran away, as they should, he was to be respected and feared. Yea, that was it, just an expendable, nothing to worry about.
He.. he was fine… everything was fine…

God it felt like he was losing his mind.

—

Ever since Sebastian had spotted the silhouette around the corner, he had grown more fearful and wary, always looking over his shoulder every few seconds when out, even if he tried to convince himself he was just crazy.

Regardless of what he was trying to tell himself, the evidence was undeniably, he had gotten himself a stalker.

He had spotted them a few more times, always peeking from behind corners and doors, always slipping away too fast for him to make out their identity.
This shouldn't matter to him, not in the slightest, they posed no threat, he'd be able to kill them easily, and if they wanted something they could just show up and ask, with the correct payment of course.
It really shouldn't be a big deal, but it was, it was creeping him out so much.

He didn't want to be followed, didn't want to be stared at like an object, didn't want to have to live in fear of getting caught off guard if they ever decided to take action, the stress that came from this was nearly enough to have him looking himself up in his shop until this went away.

He was keeping an eye out again, just about the definition of paranoid, and practically leapt forward when he heard a shuffle, nerves burning with the need to run, and sending him running right into the one who had caused the noise.

It was unusual for his stalker to actually be positioned in a path he was currently making his way through, but that appeared to be the case right now, as that turn of events caused him to collide with whom else but his most obsessed client.
Oh.
He should have been able to guess this was how it was.

Despite the situation, the expendable tried to play it off like nothing weird was going on here at all, dusting off their clothes from the fall, and looking up at him with a far too smug grin.

“Oh hey, baby, did I startle you.~”

Right, that reminded Sebastian of his most recent issue, the fact that they had deluded themself into thinking the two of them were in some kind of relationship. He had refused to play along a few times, but they had simply waved some data at him and he had folded, something he began to regret more and more with every escalating encounter.

“I was just checking to see how you were doing, yknow, to make sure no creeps are bothering you.”

“Screw off dude, I'm not working.”

With a hiss, he turned to slither away, hoping they'd take the damn hint, but of course they did not care in the slightest, pracing right after him without a care in the world.

“Cmon, don't be like that, you're no fun.”

“If you're that desperate, you have a hand, use it. I'm busy.”

He honestly could not reject them any firmer, but they remained on him like a parasite, eventually even following him right back into his shop to his dismay.

“You can't just neglect your husband like this, baby, do you want to see me get frustrated?”

He had told them many times before that they were not his ‘husband’, they weren't even dating, he had never shown any genuine interest in them.

When he turned around to face them, it was to shoo them out, with violence if necessary, but he stopped in his tracks as the absolutely ungodly amount of data they were holding, which they teasingly wiggled at him.
…dammit, they really knew how to get to him. He knew he shouldn't be encouraging this behavior… but they were offering quite a lot.

So, with a reluctant sigh, he prepared himself for a horrible time.

“...Fine, what do you want?”

He was sure the expendable would have jumped with joy if not for the fact they were trying to play the role of a dominant sexy partner, but they held themself back, he could still recognize how they lit up regardless.

“Oh nothing much baby, just a regular fuck, you know the drill, I'll make you feel real good.~”

Unfortunately, Sebastian didn't doubt that, as from previous experience he had discovered that they were rather good, a fact that he absolutely hated. They were always able to keep him in the moment, wracked with unwanted pleasure as they took and took whatever they wanted with no remorse.

“Though.. I do have something special to ask of you, I can pay you even more for that.”

Oh God, he did not like the sound of that, already dreading what was surely to come.

“Don't keep me waiting then.”

From their pocket, the expendable pulled something he could quite identify, a little bag with some innocent pills inside of it. He wasn't much into drugs, never had been, but he could recognize that whatever they held was suspicious.

“These will make everything so much more fun, I promise you that.”

At first, he hesitated, obviously not all too eager to take drugs from a clearly malicious stranger… But if it would get him more data, he'd do it.

“Alright, but you pay up front, just so you don't run off without paying the second you can.”

“Oh darling! You know I'd never do something so mean, but fine, I'll play nice.”

The way they moved as they neatly put down the data was.. infuriating. They were going slowly, every movement exaggerated, over dramatic, as if they were trying to put a child throwing a temper tantrum at ease.
If they were trying to make him regret asking for data up front, they were failing, as their idiotic behavior only solidified his belief that he had made the right choice here, they would have most scammed him if he hadn't, at least if they were making this big of a deal out of having to pay.

“There, is that better, sweetheart.”

He was half tempted to just snap at them and tell them to stop with the damn names, but they were a paying customer, he couldn't afford an attitude, so instead he let his body sink down, doing his best to relax in the position he had figured out they were most fond of, which was half on his side so they had easy access to his slit without having to maneuver much.

“You're being so good for me, I can tell you're excited.~”

If they thought he was actually into this, they were an even bigger idiot than he had expected, a fact he made very clear by looking at them like they were the biggest fool in the entire blacksite.
As they got closer, hand trailing to caress at his neck and cheek, he wondered when they'd actually offer him the drugs they wanted him to take. Maybe they'd just forget, that would be better.

He seriously thought it might have slipped their mind, at least until they popped a few pills into their own mouth, pulled his head up to meet theirs by his hair, and kissed him about as aggressively as they possibly could have, wasting no time with this other form of disgusting violation.

Their tongue was prodding at his lips, fighting for access, and he could do nothing but oblige.
The expendable tasted of cigarettes and rot, to such a degree it nearly made him gag, but he was used to this by now and knew how to suppress that reflex.
What he wasn't used to however was the sensation of little pills pushed into his mouth with the help of this sloppy kiss, pushing him to swallow.
Well, he had already agreed to take the damn things, so there was no point in resisting, as he swallowed, he just hoped this would be over quicker as long as he went along with this.

Mercifully, they pulled back, licking their lips like an absolute pervert, leaving Sebastian to try and catch his breath, trying to disguise his disgust enough to allow them to think his reaction was brought on by their skill. Customers with an ego didn't take their anger out on him, so he let them believe they were just great at kissing.

“There we go, good boy.~”

Oh, ew, no, he did not like that, but hey, what could he do in response? Absolutely nothing. If they wanted to call him that, he'd unfortunately have to let them, just so he could get paid.

With their focus shifted from that horrible kiss to a new goal, their hands drew lower, grasping at his hips, squeezing and fondling the built up fat and muscle located there.

“God, just how are you this hot?”

He didn't respond, he didn't want to respond.
He could confidently say that the part he hated most about this was being considered attractive, fetished because of how he looked. He hated this body, it was something that had been forced onto him, to have it eyed with lust made him feel sick, reminded him far too much of researchers standing over him, feeling and prodding, taking notes as if he were nothing but a thoughtless specimen, obsessed with the monster he had become.

He tried his very best not to think of all the things that had happened to him, of all the things that were still yet to happen, and he found doing so to be easier by the second, as everything was starting to feel… fuzzy… that must be the drugs then, at least they weren't having any particularly nasty effects, he could even learn to enjoy it.

Right now everything felt relatively nice, leaving him relaxed, his worried and inhibitions suppressed, he even found himself enjoying the expendable's touch to some degree.
It still wasn't something he fully wanted, but it didn't feel as disgusting and horrible as it usually did, even providing a slight comfort.

A small rumbling purr started up at the back of his throat as they played around with his flesh, seeking out sensitive spots with one hand and dropping their pants with he other, the noise briefly startling him out of his semi relaxed state.
…He didn't know he could do that… That was tragic, wasn't it?

“Great, isn't it? Those damn things will make you feel so good… you're beautiful like this, so fragile and submissive.~”

Normally, Sebastian would have protested, not fond of that kind of talk, would have at least shot them a glare, but he didn't feel like it right now, eyes closed as he basked in the few pleasant sensations he was allowed to experience.

He could feel it when they lined themself up, something slick pressing against his slit, he was grateful they were willing to lose lube, but didn't exactly have much time to think about that fact as they pushed in.
He was already panting before they had even bottomed out, trembling as he laid back, everything felt so much more sensitive right now, just felt so damn good, it was intoxicating.

Their first proper thrust already nearly had him crying out, but the noise was more so shifted to a drawn out and breathy moan, soon followed up by a torrent of others as they set a steady pace.

As always, there was still a solid part of him that hated this, wanted everyone to just leave him alone and never come back, but right now, drugged, sensitive, and compliant, his body yearned for more, his mind soon following it's lead.

He reasoned it wouldn't hurt to at least try to enjoy this, it was going to happen anyway, he might as well have a good time instead of forcing himself to cling to disgust when he just wanted to let go.
Everything hurt so much when he fought, tried to hang onto his dignity, this was a bittersweet break from reality, let him relax and let go for just a moment, even if he'd most definitely hate himself afterwards.

Right now his mind wasn't set on consequences, seperate from the consideration of how he'd feel about this after, thinking was too hard for that, everything was hazy.

He only realized he was crying, his deeper misery shining through, when the expendable wiped away his tears as he sniffled pathetically between moans. All of this was… he hated it, he loved it, he deserved it, he didn't even know anymore.. it simply was, and it was horrible and intoxicating, he couldn't think properly.

Reality was failing before Sebastian's eyes, him with it, the only thing he could really do was try to focus on his abuser's words to keep him grounded, even if everything they said was highly disturbing.

Most of what they said consisted of things he had heard before, degrading terms, shitty dirty talk, the likes… except..

“Fuck- you're so good- I'm going to cum inside you, make you care my kids!-”

With most, he wouldn't have taken notice of those kinds of comments, but this time..
Well they weren't wearing a condom, and they had already convinced themself the two of them were in a relationship. All in all, everything he knew about them pointed to the fact they most likely fully meant what they were saying, were indeed trying to knock him up.

Finally, after remaining compliant for most of this, he resisted, facing them with a sharp hiss, though the noise was still far weaker than he had intended.

“..d..don't you fucking dare!- pull out, idiot!!-”

They weren't listening, they weren't fucking listening, and in this state, drugs leaving him more plaint than ever, he discovered rather quickly that he could no longer squirm out of this, held down with ease by even the weakest of men.

This was most definitely reason to start freaking out, yea? Yea. Which was what he was doing, struggling to fight his way out of this, yet failing, everything still feeling poisonously good despite the circumstances, every second they kept him held down flaming his panic.

“that's perfect, baby- I know you want this.~”

“No!- no!!- stop!- pull out!!”

Ignoring his desperate protests, they continued, and he could feel his stomach drop as a flood of wet and sticky warmth hit his insides, immediately stilling in pure shock.
.. he was supposed to have at least some control here, should have a say in what happened to him.. but that belief had been firmly shattered.

With a misery fueled burst of strength, he swung his tail, a suffering and enraged cry tearing itself from his lips as he flung the expendable violently into the nearest wall, the crack he heard quickly determined to be from their skull, as their head was bleeding and they weren't getting up.

Okay, okay, he could panic later, he had things to do right now. He needed to clean up the body, wipe the splatter of blood off of his wall, make it seem like nothing ever happened here. If everyone knew he had killed a client like this nobody would ever be dropping by his shop again, nobody would trust him enough to provide him with what was needed.

With trembling arms, Sebastian took hold of the corpse, swung it over his shoulder, and fled.

He'd have to see if the site's medicinal storage contained plan b on his way back.

Chapter Text

For Painter there were quite a lot of things they could expect to see down here. Expendables up to some shenanigans was common, that shenanigans often included getting shot or eaten by the nearest angler, but they considered it shenanigans nonetheless.

They'd seen a fair few things, always kept up to date on the latest blacksite drama, currently very invested in the story of two expendables that had been in for a while. The two were constantly bickering, a man and a woman, had been shouting at each other since the moment they got out of the submarine.
They'd heard quite a few interesting things, but had only really focused on those two when a divorce was mentioned.

Turned out, they knew eachother beforehand, had both landed in prison completely separately for unrelated manslaughter cases, neither knowing that the other was in the position they were in, at least not until they ended up as expendables in the same sub my complete accident.

The drama was delicious, they loved it so much, they were so invested.

It was during their search for their favourite relationship drama that they spotted something they hadn't expected, Sebastian, now he alone wouldn't be strange.. but he wasn't in good shape, face wet with tears as he carried about an expendable's corpse.

At first, before noticing anything was wrong, they were tempted to go greet him, have a quick little chat, just to be nice, as friends did.. but he'd no doubt shut down if they tried their shot at conversation now.

He looked completely disheveled, a mess, even stumbling a little every so often, like he was drunk or had taken something, miserable sobs ringing throughout the hallway.

To say they were concerned would be an understatement. They knew he wouldn't tell them himself, he was too prideful for that, but something was wrong, they had solid confirmation of that fact now.
They had suspected that something was up for the last while, whenever he came to visit them he looked… blank, expression distant and deeply miserable, like he had looked when urbanshade was still experimenting on him, but they were always told he was fine when asking, not that they believed that for a second.

He needed help, they were sure of that now, was experiencing something horrible that they knew nothing about, trapped in a new cycle of trauma.
They'd need to have a word with him when he next came to visit.

—

Sebastian was fine!! Everything was so fine, it was unbelievable just how fine he was. He totally wasn't a mess, having the worst trip of his life as he disposed of a client's corpse, and he definitely was not worried in the slightest about getting pregnant!

How would that even work? He didn't want to think about it, but his mind drifted.
He had read his own file, and knew there was a horrible amount of ways this could go, it could be a live birth, like a shark, or he could end up laying eggs.
But that wouldn't happen, because he was completely fine, and not losing it in the slightest, he was absolutely not close to a complete mental breakdown!!

Breathing was hard, but he did his best, choking on the tears he tried to stop from rolling down his face as he tossed the body he was carrying into the deepest darkest hole he could find.

He had a job to do, he couldn't break now, he had to go back to work, had to get data so this would all be worth it, so he could be free.. and if he failed at getting enough in time..
Well there was no need to think about the possibility of having sold himself for nothing!

He got himself together to the best of his abilities as he made his way back to his shop, ignored the expendables he passed on the way, how they called out for him, lewd remarks, genuine concern, it didn't matter to him, it wasn't important, it shouldn't be important, he just had to get back, sit pretty and act like everything was fine, and get the fuck over it.
Plenty of expendables had fucked him raw before, there was no way this one time would end up with him pregnant, he probably couldn't even get pregnant.

He doubted an abomination like him had a stable enough body to carry young.

The first thing he did when he got back was alter the sign, yanking it up as it just stood there, mocking him, screeching at him the prices that he was worth.
Some rules needed to change.

First, condoms were now no longer optional, yes even if someone claimed to be infertile, he doubted the average expendable was above lying about the fact that their dick doesn't work just to be able to fuck raw.

Next, discounts, everyone liked discounts, he was sure he'd be able to lure in some new clients with these. Usually he didn't do discounts but these.. well they were beneficial to him as well.

Anything rough had it's price lowered, discounts would also be applied for the size of whatever was shoved into him. Hell, if someone decided to punch him in the stomach he'd probably end up paying them, just to be sure.
If he really could get pregnant, and also got incredibly unlucky in regards to his previous encounter, he could deal with it this way. It wouldn't be pleasant, but getting beaten into a miscarriage was far better than actually carrying a child to term down here.

It was during his work to change the pricing and set up the newest hot deals that a client entered, and he whipped around, startled by the sound of someone clambering through the vent, animal mind urging him to run and to fight and to hide wherever he could because they were here to hurt him-
But he fought back, and instead met them with the biggest and fakest grin he had ever given anyone.

“Welcome! I was just changing some things up, feel free to take a look around, buy anything you think may help on your journey. Plus, there's some real steals in regards to some of the special services I offer!”

Sebastian was absolutely losing it, at least that's what all this felt like, getting into his usual position, fidgeting around more than usual. He didn't know what they wanted from him, but whatever, he'd let the expendable take a look around, have their fun, and get on with his day.

They bought a flashlight for the road ahead, and then turned to look at his pricing, a grin forming on their face as they were already busy pulling out data.

He knew his prices by heart, regular session, rough, as was to be expected due to the applied discounts.

He couldn't take this right now- he couldn't fucking take this, not so soon, he needed some rest.

He lowered himself down to allow easier access, doing his best to relax, and staring up at the ceiling. He had to do this, but there was no need for him to pay attention, they hadn't paid for that.

They undid their pants, wasted no time in even talking to him, and got right to things, while he focused on zoning out, only distantly paying attention to whether they'd qualify for the size discount.

He was lost in thought as they fucked him, the stinging stretch distant, plus he hadn't had much time to recover from his last client, so he was already pretty loose, it didn't hurt as much thanks to that.

There'd definitely be some questions in regards to his new pricing, there were some clients who figured themselves to be saints, talked nice to him before getting to what they actually wanted. He knew it was a lie. They always double checked whether he actually wanted this, and he always said yes, that was enough to soothe their guilt, they wouldn't take note of the destroyed look he wore after they were done, didn't pay attention to the fact he was very clearly completely dissociated throughout everything they did.

Those kinds of clients would no doubt ask what was up, sweet talk him with their chit chat and questions about whether or not he was okay, and he couldn't just tell them “it's because I'm trying to make sure I end up miscarrying in the case I might be pregnant”... So he'd have to degrade himself further, spin sexy little lies about how he was suddenly some kind of size queen.

It was horrible, but it was better than telling the truth. He hated all this, hated that he'd have to lie, but he couldn't spark their concern, it'd drive them away, he needed every client he could get down here.

He yelped, ripped out of his thoughts, as something interrupted the standard in and out repetitive routine, another object, shoved roughly into his slit, leaving him cringing back at the painful feeling.

He looked down, confused and startled, and was met with a sight he had most definitely not expected.
The expendable had shoved the flashlight in, now moving along with their dick.

He couldn't help but let out an angry growl, confused, hurt, and frightened.

“What the hell?!”

“This enough to qualify for that discount?”

Motherfucker- he wanted to bash their skull in so bad.. but yes, that would be enough to qualify for the discount.

The way he backed down, let them go about what they were planning, must have been approval enough for them, as they continued on with their cruelty soon after.

This hurt quite a lot more, but he was fine with that, he was used to pain, he could take quite a lot, even if it wasn't exactly pleasant.
So he just closed his eyes, focused on the good this would do, and let his mind escape.

He didn't exactly want to be mangled and injured, but it might be beneficial. With enough internal injuries he could be sure of his infertility, wouldn't have to worry about that aspect of things.
There'd be a lot of other things for him to concern himself with, but one less worry was always nice.

Maybe if he got hurt enough he'd start going numb, that was a nice thought, but probably only a fantasy, most likely things would actually get worse if that happened, irritating and tearing open scar tissue wasn't particularly pleasant.

He almost didn't notice when the expendable came, wasn't paying attention to anything outside of his own head, didn't hear his own whimpers and whines, their disgusting moans, and was only snapped out of this state when they pulled out.

He curled up the second they were done, nothing more than an injured animal, he was half tempted to lick his wounds, find some way to ease the stinging pain, but he wasn't going to do that in front of them.. plus it was disgusting.

Luckily, they took the hints evident in his hurt and defensive posture, and didn't try sticking around for much longer, only confirming that they'd indeed get that discount, and leaving once he nodded, even if it pained him to see them take some of the data back.

At least with condoms there'd be less cleanup, allowed him to just get on with his day, forget anything had happened, forget that anything would happen after.

He was fine, as long as he didn't think about it, he was fine.

Chapter Text

For the last few days, Sebastian had been eyeing his supply of collected drugs with a manic desire, but at least he had been successful in pushing the thought of using them out of his mind.. for now..

He was, as was to be expected, not doing very well, feeling more alone than ever despite the constant presence of expendables within his shop.

They were never good company, just used him and left, none cared about him, they all just saw him as a piece of meat to use and toss to the side, like everyone else.
At his darkest moments, he often wondered if simply giving in to urbanshade would have been a better fate, they treated him no different, but at least he didn't get raped as often, he'd prefer getting cut open any day over this.

It was hard to remember why he was doing this, that he was fighting for freedom, that this actually had a reason. Sometimes he just got used to it too much, got into the flow of things and forgot he was anything besides a cheap whore at the mercy of those with more exotic tastes.

He knew getting himself addicted to something would make this situation so much worse, would make it so much harder to get out properly, would make it harder to live his life when he did escape.. but it would also make the pain easier to manage, it was a horrible dilemma.

As he heard someone entering the shop, he rapidly slammed the drawer he had been looking for closed, hiding the various meds he should not have. Both because he wanted to keep up appearances, and because he didn't want to get robbed. These expendables were criminals, and many were done here thanks to actions taken in the name of drugs, he wasn't looking to get his shit stolen by some wannabe mobster.

As he turned around, took in the sight of who had entered, he could feel his heart drop.
Not this fucking guy..

This specific expendable was familiar, painfully familiar, face painted with a look of cruelty.
They had used his services a number of times already, and it had not been fun for him in the slightest, as he had quickly discovered that they enjoyed hurting him, and worse than that even, enjoyed triggering him, tearing him apart as they sent him spiralling into his darkest memories.

Suffice to say, he didn't like the fucker, but they were still a paying client.
At least he didn't have to explain everything to them, they could read, and had done this enough times to be familiar with the process.

As they put down just about the largest stack of data he had ever seen, his face must have twisted into something of both fear and want, as they didn't even bother trying to hold in a laugh.

“Am I right to assume this will have you doing just about anything?”

He wanted to kill them, get rid of them quickly and just take everything they were offering, but that would put a stain on his reputation if anyone found out, it would scare clients away.
Then they'd stop coming by, he wouldn't be able to get more data, and he'd probably just kill himself at that point because that would already be the end for him, and then everyone else would die and it would all be his fault-

No, he had to do this, he couldn't just murder and rob them, he had to go about this the hard way.

Sighing, he finally spoke up.

“Yes, yes you are right, as long as it's within the rules.. just do it..”

Sebastian felt horrible about this, knew it would be an absolutely horrible time, if he wasn't seriously considering just throwing back a handful of pills before, he sure was now.

“Great, I've got something in mind, just follow me!”

This wouldn't be the first time that someone had taken him out of his shop, and it definitely wouldn't be the last, but he couldn't care less, he didn't consider this spot safer than any other, there were barely any places here where he could truly consider himself safe.

“Yes.. sir.”

That last part was added with quite a lot of hesitation, and an obvious amount of hatred. He knew it was something they liked to be called, and he'd do so, because they had paid him a goddamn fortune, but they hadn't paid him to be happy about it.

They gestured at him to follow, and left, going through the vent from which they entered, Sebastian right on their trail.

They had done similar things before, had taken him to different locations just for the fun of it, often they didn't even have anything in mind, just led him around and watched how he reacted, how frightened each turn made him, something that had ended up with the both of them fucking in his old cell as he cried and cried until he was beyond dehydrated.

Sebastian tried not to pay attention, he really did, if he could just zone out and act like nothing was happening, maybe he'd be fine, but they knew just how to get to him, how to frighten him, kept him alert as they led him to-
No.
No he was not going in there, why had they?-

Oh he knew exactly why, who was he kidding, they wanted him miserable, that was why.

They had brought him to an old operating room, now stood outside as they waited for him to gather the courage to enter.

“Cmon, you want that data, don't you?”

He took a deep breath, and entered, nearly driving himself into a panic already.

The room like many others, was still perfectly intact, neat and organised and in perfect shape, even a bit neater than most, something that had him turning to the expendable, concerned.

“Did you.. did you prepare this..?”

He felt like he could cry when they nodded with a smile.

“I sure did, only the best for my favourite toy. Now why don't you lie down on the table over there, and we'll get right to it.”

What choice did he have, obedience was the only true option available to him here. Between old misery, bitter memories, and newer terrors, that sense of helplessness bubbling within him only grew.

He should be above this, should be able to kill them right here right now, but they felt so much stronger than him in the moment, and he found himself following orders like second nature, lying down on the awfully familiar metal surgery table, the awful restraint straps built into it ready to be used, like they had been many times before.

The expendable gave him a quick approving pat on the shoulder, and set to securing the restraints, straps drawn across his arms, his neck, his chest, and there were even a few to keep his tail in place, pretty effective at preventing any wiggling, as had been proven time and time again.

The very second everything was in place, Sebastian regretted agreeing to any of this.
This was so unbelievably stupid, most restraints he could break out of pretty easily, but these? They were built to contain him, and he was awfully aware of the fact there was no backing out now, that fighting was impossible.

His heart hammered in his chest as he imagined all kinds of horrid scenarios, with the most prominent one being the possibility that they'd keep him here, like this, bound and helpless, long after they had gotten what they had paid for.

He looked on anxiously as they turned away, searching through a variety of medical devices, luckily none appeared particularly sharp… but all looked incredibly threatening.

He couldn't hold in a quiet hitched intake of his breath, forced out by panic, as they picked up something he had hoped they would ignore, a sleek metal speculum, too big for any regular human.

He had experienced a few internal exams before, and knew he absolutely hated it, he always tried to make sure he was never the only one that left injured and distressed, lashing out at whoever dared to get close, though he rarely managed to do any actual damage given the fact he was often strapped down, sedated, or both.

Sebastian was starting to regret this, but there was nothing he could do now, stuck and trying to force away memories, well aware that his fear was what they were looking for.

He was staring as they prepared themself, donning an old dirty lab coat they had no doubt found either on the ground or on a corpse, as well as single use latex gloves, pulled from a box as though it was a tissue.

The expendable place a hand on his belly, something that had him shuddering, flinching away, their touch simultaneously too hot and too cold, a horrid reminder of all he had been through before, a tiny but insistent flash of his past, of hands on his stomach before he was cut open, banged at his mind, something he desperately suppressed.
He knew he'd break, they were determined, and it was inevitable, but he wanted to hold on for as long as possible, it was always worse when he gave in.

“Good boy, right where you belong. Life would be so much easier if you stopped pretending to be someone.”

In a way, they were right, life had been easier when he was just an experiment, discarded within a locked box whenever it wasn't time to break him again, rip him into little pieces for the sake of science. He didn't have to think when his life was like that, no planning and scheming, just an aching misery that remained the same every day..
..but he couldn't go back to that, it had been hell. While thing were definitely more complicated now, he also had hope, a promise for quite possible future.

“Just because you're paying me doesn't mean you can just say whatever the hell you wh!-”

His words were cut off, devolving into a cry of pain, as they rather roughly shoved the speculum into him, no preparation or lubrication of course, because why would they, urbanshade employees hadn't spared him that mercy either, his comfort was irrelevant here, if he bled, it just got treated as another useful part of experimentation.

He couldn't help but twitch and squirm beneath their torment, trying his best to breathe through gritted teeth, eyes squeezed shut to hold in tears, it hurt, but of course it did, he hadn't been expecting anything else, he had signed up for this, this was his problem down.

A sharp whine escaped him as the thing inside his guts was twisted, a noise he couldn't suppress no matter how hard he tried, God it felt like he was being stabbed, but he'd prefer being stabbed over this any day.

They were planning something, he knew that, he wasn't an idiot, they were angling the thing just right to allow for-

He gasped as something hit a horrifically sensitive spot within him, would have definitely bucked himself off the table if he wasn't tied down.
The expendable had put something else in, a medical device, surely, but the name and function currently escaped him, metal edges just the same unfeeling kind of tool as everything else, it didn't matter, but he could recognize they were not quite using it for its intended purpose, whatever this was, it had no reason to be in him in this manner, only used as an extension to their form, to reach deeper and discover.

What else did he expect? At the end of the day, no matter how deep they got into their sickening little role play, they weren't a doctor, had no clue what any of this stuff actually did. Perhaps Sebastian could cling to that fact to prevent himself from descending into past trauma.

“There we go, that was fast, huh?”

Whatever they were searching for, they had found it, and all he could do was dread what they had planned.

Far too many times, they rubbed the tool against that sensitive spot they had discovered, which had his body heating up, him seeing stars, pulling against the straps keeping him down as he squirmed against the horrible mix of pain and forceful wrong pleasure.

The noises that escaped him were of the kind he'd rather forget, pathetic whimpering and broken keeping, far too vulnerable and laying open before the expendable's cruel gaze.

He knew they were enjoying this, and that was the worst part.

Fluid dripped from within his slit onto the table below, he prayed it was blood, but he knew it wasn't. Somehow, through their torment, they were actually able to bring his body to react, a sickening arousal twisting in his gut, it made him want to throw up.

Sebastian always felt disgusting these days, but that feeling was even more present than normal now, quivering like a broken toy, with his own fluids carving a path along his belly, he was sure he already looked wrecked and they had only been at it for a minute or two.

He hated them, he hated them so much it hurt, he tried to focus on that instead of misty memories screaming for acknowledgement.

The cry that escaped him when they swapped the tool for their fingers was like something from a wounded animal.
Normally, he wasn't all that sensitive, about average, probably, not that he'd know what the average really was, he had zero experience with how these things should work, but it seemed right.
Now though, with his most vulnerable spot poked and prodded, every touch sending cold fire down his spine, that norm went right out the window.

The tool they had been using wasn't big, actually fairly small, able to jab and tease, but with their fingers, they could actually apply some proper force, making the earlier torture seem like absolutely nothing.

He came within a matter of seconds, another gush of fluid staining the material beneath him, he felt as though he might black out any moment, the control he barely held on to shattered like it was nothing, a slim barrier broken into a million pieces.

In all honesty, he thought he was in a nightmare, at least distantly, as in truth he had little idea of what was actually going on.

People danced around him, scurrying around like ants, the blinding shine of surgical lights schutting out everything besides his misery and those that wanted to hurt him.

He was spread open before them, emotionally and physically, tears trickling down his face as he sobbed, tried to prevent them from taking even more pieces of him, for them to please God just get out of him and leave him alone.

But nobody showed him mercy, not the man tormenting him in reality, and not the shadowed figures of trauma he was seeing before him.

He was shaking so hard it looked like it hurt, every move drawing a raspy cry from him as he tugged and tugged against his bindings until blood flowed down his wrists.
Whatever pleasure he may have gotten from this was gone, replaced by the persistent ringing of overstimulation and too much sensitivity.

What was within him shifted every few minutes, as they experimented with just what they could do, though at the end of the day, fingers seemed to work best.
His insides tried to clench around them, force them out or do practically anything, but with metal holding back his walls he could do nothing, laid bare, vulnerable beyond belief.

Everything was wet, utterly soaked, even with the most thorough bath he could get himself it would most likely still take days for the smell of his own unwanted arousal to fade, hell, he was distantly sure he could hear hit dripping onto the floor below.

At some point, Sebastian came again, a fact he was only aware of thanks to a spike of anguish that stood out from the rest, along with the sound of his own cracked wailing.

Anyone walking in on this would probably rightfully be convinced he was having a seizure from how much he twitched and writhed.

He felt like he was dying, had no clue what was going on around him, couldn't even see more but blurs of colors, and still, the expendable, now sat comfortably atop his tail, didn't let up, although their removal of the speculum could be mistaken as a small mercy.

Sebastian tried his best to breath, couldn't through hitched breaths and sobs, a gut feeling telling him this wasn't over, even as his insides were finally allowed to at least try and press back together.

He was soon proven right as something new penetrated him.

They couldn't just stand by and watch, they enjoyed this, yes, but they wanted some action, and thus decided to wrap this up with some proper fucking.

Their movements were uneven, shallow on some occasions and deep on others, the pace stuttery and unpredictable, as they were too far drawn into their own needs to force more agony from the creature beneath them, who whined and cried despite their sub par performance.

They pulled out just before they came, and Sebastian could feel something warm, with a texture he could only describe as disgusting, land upon both his chest and head, wriggling into his hair like a parasite.

He twisted like dying prey as his body betrayed him once more, fluid dribbling down as the sudden stop confused his spent form, and he came to the sensation of his own walls clenching to a degree that it hurt.

When they were done, he looked lost, distant, his eyes hazy as he pleaded to shadows of his past for mercy, whining names the expendable didn't know nor cared about, him left entirely unaware of their presence.

While cruel, it appeared they would honor a deal, and when what they had paid for was done, they untied him, letting him curl up in a puddle of his own fluids, hands clawing at his chest like he was trying to rip out his own heart, but that wasn't their problem, and they continued on with their doomed suicide mission soon enough, leaving him alone to sob.

Yea, he'd need to dig into his supplies of drink and drugs after this.

Chapter Text

When the next expendable came in, Sebastian was not himself, something beyond obvious to anyone who saw him like this.

The last encounter he had endured had shaken him to his core, it took him at least an hour or two to collect himself enough to realise what was going on around him and come to his senses, and quite a bit more time until he felt ready to move again and head back to his shop.
All in all, he was a mess, still wiping away tears and choking down sobs as he made his way back.

He didn't even consider what he was doing as he opened the drawer housing the various drugs he had looted, and he didn't even look at the labels before forcing down whatever he could get his hands on.
He hoped desperately that it would make him feel better, or at least bring him some salvation. Hell, accidentally overdosing didn't seem so bad to him right now.

There was still hope for him, buried deep beneath the misery, distant and tiny yet there, something he had worked so hard for, but such a little spark was easily buried when he couldn't stop hurting, and right now he just wanted that to stop.

Logically, he knew that chugging down a bunch of drugs, flushing down the pills with ungodly amounts of alcohol, was a bad idea, but everything he had done in the past few weeks had been a bad idea, and he didn't care anymore, he just needed something, anything, that could possibly make him feel better.

His handfuls contained quite a lot, from antidepressants, to prescription Adderall, to some sedatives and painkillers. Some stoner employee had even managed to get in some straight up drugs under the ruse that they were medicinal.

In short, more than enough to get him thoroughly fucked up

The effects kicked in fairly quickly, almost all strange and conflicting in nature. Everything felt a bit tingly, and he was quite sleepy, which, with his sense of shame suppressed and him in a particularly giddy mood, led him to flopping down on the ground to roll around a bit.

The world was spinning, but it was nice and pretty, he couldn't help but reach for the shiny colourful stars floating before his eyes.

His emotions were all over the place, at times he felt numb, but more often than not, every single thing was elevated, whether that be joy or misery.

At one point, he had come to the conclusion that snakes didn't have legs, and that was really sad, only to be led to the further conclusion that he was now technically kind of a snake, and didn't have legs either, a realisation that only had him crying harder.

It was a long time before a visitor came, during which he was lying on his back, once more rolling around like a cat, and looking completely dishevelled, the upside down form of an expendable looming over him as he refused to pull his head from the ground, eyes cloudy and everything blurry beneath a drunken haze.

“Heyyy.. you here to fuck me?”

He couldn't even pick up on just how unstable his voice sounded, warbled, cracking, and weak, his words almost painfully giddy despite his own hatred for the idea, but whatever, this was his life now, he might as well just get this over with already, because why not, he didn't have much to lose right now.

“What?- no- are you okay??”

He huffed, unable to understand their confusion, and vaguely gestured at the direction where he thought he had put the sign.

“It's all I'm good for these days anyway.”

The way they looked at him at that comment.. he could have taken it for concern if he didn't know better, nobody cared about him here, and the few that did really shouldn't, and he currently had nothing stopping him from blurring out every single bit of his worries and self image issues.

“..you.. you're high.. or drunk, or both..”

“Yessir! Plenty of good stuff down here! You want some? You have to pay though..”

The new business idea came to him in a flash, it was genius, many down here were way into drugs, and if he sold them, he would make a fortune! ..he.. he should have done this from the start.. if he hadn't, he wouldn't have to do all of.. this..

God he was such a failure.

Tears sprung to his eyes as he weakly hiccuped, the idea that he could have been doing something else, something far easier, all along, setting in.
Why didn't he? Had he wanted this in some way? Or maybe he just knew he deserved it.
If his vision wasn't blurry enough already, the tears were now helping quite a bit, and as the expendable reached out to try and touch him their hand was nothing but a blob.

Sebastian flinched just a little as they touched him, hand coming down on his shoulder to help roll him over, but he was far too out of it to actually be as afraid as he normally would be, only babbling for a moment.

“Nuh uh.. payment first..”

“Shh, I'm just rolling you over, I don't think it's safe for you to be on your back like this.”

Yea, he remembered vaguely reading something about that, but that was about drunk people that were sleeping, and he wasn't sleeping.. but he wouldn't really complain about choking on his own vomit if it meant an out.
He could probably pass that off as an accident, so he wouldn't have to feel the shame of others knowing he had actually killed himself. What would they even think? He had promised to save so many others, and if he actually killed himself..? He couldn't bear the thought of disappointing them.

A freak accident however, that was fine, nobody had to know that he hadn't bothered fighting his demise.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the fact that the expendable seemed to be trying to talk to him, the world was clearing up now that he wasn't looking at them from upside down, and again, they seemed concerned, he couldn't understand why.

“Hey, hey, you there?”

“Yea? Where… where else would I be?”

They sighed, a sound mostly of relief, though still undeniably stressed.

“You weren't responding.”

He noted that they looked young, younger than most, probably somewhere in their early twenties. Androgynous build, dyed hair, face containing some scars from where piercings would have been, the actual material long since removed from their arrival at prison.
Somehow, all of this made him feel more at ease.

His usual customers were men, older, and quite frequently very stereotypical cis white guys, though he hesitated to call them straight, even if most insisted they were, but come on now, they were paying to fuck him, and he was still a dude.

This person didn't fit those standards, more so fitting within the groups that avoided using his services, looking at him with disgusting amounts of pity, though he appreciated that most bought plenty of stock and tipped very well, even when he was sure they didn't even need it, nobody needed two fully charged flashlights.

While this expendable did appear more kind and caring, they also appeared way out of their depth.

“Do you have any friends…? Anyone who can help you like.. this..?”

Friends! Yes, he had those, right now completely forgetting that they had vowed to never let anyone they cared about know.
He couldn't rely on eyefestation like this, she was quite literally a shark and he didn't think sharks would make good trip sitters, but he also had Painter!

Painter, the best pal, good old buddy, absolutely nothing else, there was no time to think about those kinds of complicated feelings like that.
Besides, he couldn't get into a relationship right now, he'd always be cheating thanks to his job. So this was an issue to be shoved under the rug and never considered ever again.

“Yea I've got- my friend!-”

Sebastian tried to get up, keyword, tried, as he was left rather violently stumbling, something that looked incredibly awkward without legs.

“Great!- Okay, that's good, do you want to?-”

“Let's go!”

Should he have waited for an answer? Probably. But he didn't care, nothing else really mattered right now, because he felt as if he'd start crying again if he didn't get to see Painter within the next few minutes.

As he got up once more, he tried leaning on the expendable for support, which, thanks to some miracle, actually worked and didn't end up with him crushing the poor thing in a few seconds, though they were noticeably strained by having to support even a part of him, but they, the absolute angel they were, did not complain, and merely helped guide him out.

The vents he needed to pass through were an issue. They always went first, and even with just the vent leading out of his shop, he nearly fell asleep just crawling through it, a humiliating snoring sound driven from his exhausted form, only interrupted when they assisted in pulling him out, and continued on their journey with him leading the way.

It took a while, as his sense of direction currently wasn't… great.. The two of them hitting a few dead ends, but they managed, even if Sebastian broke into tears on multiple occasions.

Finally though, with both of them exhausted and the expendable undoubtedly carrying some new bruises from the sheer force he put on them alone, Sebastian got to the familiar terrain just outside Painter's room, and gathered up the energy to rush ahead on his own.

The door couldn't open soon enough, and he was mere moments from just clawing through it before he was finally allowed to rush in.

“Painteeerr!!!”

The ai was very obviously incredibly surprised by the fact that he was here in the first place, popping in unannounced, and very obviously both high and drunk out of his mind.

They didn't even have time to say anything, merely having a second to turn on and push out a surprised peep, as Sebastian was already tearing open the door to the grated safety cage they rested in. Who needed a key when he had claws, huh?

Soon enough, the expendable followed, regarding Painter with a very confused shrug, no doubt having been sent a look of horrified bewilderment themself.

A few words were exchanged, but Sebastian wasn't paying attention, the outside world muffled as he purred and nuzzled up against his all time favourite computer, who was rapidly starting to heat up both thanks to the closeness and the fact they were trying to figure out what the hell was happening here.

At some point, the expendable must have left, as he could practically sense Painter lowering their guard just a little bit, voice taking a more gentle tone.

“..Sebastian, are you okay..?”

“Mh. No.”

“...”

“I'm tired..”

The fact that a computer could sigh was pretty impressive to him, that fact entirely overshadowing his ability to pick up on just how stressed out his friend was getting.

“I need you to be honest with me, okay?”

“Mhm, got it, boss..”

“What did you take?”

He paused for a moment, thinking. What did he take? He didn't even know himself, the consequences of not paying any attention, and thus replied with the easiest answer he could think of.

“Everything.”

“..right.. I'm sure you did, bud..”

Something about how they spoke.. dejected and worried.. everyone always so fucking worried, when nobody should even think to care about him, sent him into another bout of sniffling cries, weak and sad as his tears dripped upon their chasis.

He didn't know what to do, he never knew what to do these days, simply miserable, his sense to try and hide this completely obliterated by the many drugs he could get his hands on.

All he could do was cling to them, exhausted, overwhelmed, and yearning desperately for rest.

“I'm uh.. hugging you in spirit..”

The comment made him snort, momentarily snapped out of his mood enough to teasingly mock them.

“Idiot..”

It was lighthearted, and not very creative, but he wasn't exactly in the business of coming up with unique play insults, was he now, merely poking at them a little as a show of affection.

As he calmed just a bit, he yawned, jaw stretched far wider than that of a regular human would, revealing sharp fangs and dark gums, before he finally settled down, eyes drifting shut.

There weren't many places he felt safe anymore, but he was able to calm down here, take a breath, assured that no one could get to him here.

He slept better than he had in years.

That morning, when he awoke, actually fairly rested thanks to the lack of nightmares though with a killer hangover, he waited until Painter was distracted, whether that be busy with something else or shut off, and only left when he was sure they wouldn't immediately notice his absence, the only way to avoid the very awkward conversation that would no doubt ensue if he stayed.

No matter how much he wanted, he knew he couldn't come back here, not when they knew something was wrong, that he had let himself be weak before them, the shame far too great.

As he left, he didn't notice what was possibly the worst mistake he had ever made, the fact that the door, embedded in the cage that was Painter's only proper protection, had been left broken due to his half forgotten actions the night before.

Chapter Text

Even with so many new horrible experiences, Sebastian still held the energy to absolutely despise supply runs.

The monotony and simplicity of it all had been a relief at first, a break he desperately needed, but now it was just annoying.
Still, he needed access to stock to sell, as well as food of course.

It was on one of these many supply runs, where he had been gradually getting more frustrated over finding absolutely nothing, that he heard a strange noise. It was some kind of mix between peeping and chirping, distressed in nature.
For a moment, he considered just moving on. He didn't have the time to try to save every little creature here.. but the longer he listened to its whining, the harder it became for him to move away…

…he'd just take a quick peek, see if he could quickly help whatever this was, and move on.

He didn't spot anything at first, but that was before he looked down. The blacksite had been gradually falling apart bit by bit ever since he had broken out, with the damage done and without regular maintenance, it had become unstable and dangerous.

On the ground was a new pile of rubble, and beneath it lay the source of the miserable peeping. This had been a sea bunny den, then, a little safe space for its inhabitants… most of which would have undoubtedly been crushed in a matter of seconds.
Over to the edge of the pile lay what he could only assume was the sole survivor, it's hind side buried. He could smell blood.

…there was no way he was leaving that there.

It took him zero effort to lift the rubble, it wasn't much, and he was strong, it was little more than a pile of rocks to him, yet it was more than enough to pin a small helpless creature down.

The sea bunny whimpered and whined as he worked, squirming, frightened and hurt, he couldn't tell if it wanted to run to him or run away as fast as it could in the other direction. Probably the former, seeing how social he had heard these creatures were.

His theory was quickly confirmed when he managed to get the last of the rubble off, and it hobbled over as fast as it could to nuzzle into his hands. He could see from its gait that it's back legs were injured, that only confirmed now that it was close enough for him to inspect, and he could see the nasty cuts and bruises staining its right hind leg. He didn't know if these things had bones, but if they did, this creature's was definitely broken.

He had planned to move on after freeing it, really, he had, he had things to do, he couldn't take care of every sad little bunny he saw, and yet here he was scooping it up into his arms and soothingly cooing at it.
He wasn't heartless, he couldn't just leave it like this. This was a domesticated animal, made to be loved and adored, unable to care for itself, relying on the kindness of humans to get by, it would never survive injured and with its den gone.

Well, there went his attempt at a supply run. He had plenty, sure, but it definitely would have been nice to get a little more. He just didn't want to haul this poor thing around, still injured, while he went about his business, so instead he made the decision to head back to his shop.

It had settled down quite a bit by the time he got back, cuddled up into his arms, only occasionally whining in pain, his heart clenched at every one of those little sounds it made.

Once in, Sebastian sat it down on his lap (or at least the closest thing he had to a lap now that he had a tail), snatching up some nearby medical supplies while he was at it.
Now more than ever, he often got hurt, often ended up with aching cuts and bruises. He'd get fairly compensated for each wound, of course, but that didn't make them go away.
So, he'd had to take care of himself, and now those circumstances allowed him to help another creature.

The sea bunny sat still as he took a closer look at its most clearly injured leg, even when he knew his fiddling with the spot no doubt hurt. This little thing was intelligent enough to know he was helping.

He couldn't quite tell if it's leg was broken, he didn't really feel anything wrong, but it was just so tiny, asking him to feel for a break would be like asking someone to feel for a crack in a chopstick through a thick layer of cotton. Did these things even have bones?

Whatever the case, it was most likely sprained at the very least, he had seen its earlier little hobble over to him how it had limped, so he decided he'd rather be safe than sorry, and set up to make a little splint for the poor thing.

He took the time to first treat the cuts on its leg though, and it sat still through most of it, only squirming slightly when he got to disinfecting it.
Soon enough, it's leg was wrapped up in a neat layer of bandages, with him having used some stray bits of plastic he had lying around to construct the makeshift splint.

By the time he was done, it had well and truly made itself comfortable on his lap, cuddled up in his arms, quietly snoozing on the new companion it had found for itself.

Well… he was stuck here now.. wasn't he?

—

Even after a few days, even after it had recovered, the sea bunny stuck around, practically glued to his side every hour of the day. He hadn't planned on adopting a pet, he was in no position to take care of another living being, but he wasn't just going to kick it out, not when it was looking up at him sadly every moment he didn't keep it held firmly in his arms.

Eventually, he came to accept that this little creature was staying, whether he liked it or not.

That means getting something to address it by, a name. He had planned for the current one to be temporary, really, he had, he just needed something to call it, and he hadn't been able to come up with anything good in the short time frame he gave himself. And now, even with his attempts to give it a new, more meaningful, more proper, name, it refused to respond to literally anything except ‘Jugs’.

It had just been a joke, it truly had been nothing more, just his idiot brain throwing out the first thing it could think to temporarily refer to this creator as, and now he was stuck with a sea bunny called Jugs.

It was a given that, in time, Sebastian would have to tend to clients. A few days had passed quietly with not much activity, just a few looking for supplies, some even paying extra to pet Jugs, who would have probably happily received the attention for free if he didn't grab at whatever avenue he could to make some money. Sure enough, when the next expendable came in, it was beyond obvious his rest period was over with.

They came in already clearly wanting, data in hand. They already knew what to do. Maybe they had been a client before, and he had just forgotten. So many faces came by, he couldn't possibly remember them all.

But as they approached, lustful gaze locked on him with a disgusting lack of shame, Jugs stepped forward from where it had been napping, and did something he had never seen a sea bunny do before.

It growled.

The creature had stepped between him and the expendable, it's posture tensed, it's back arched like that of an angry cat, firmly refusing to back off.

“Hey! Jugs, no, bad, be nice-”

He tried to scold it, already feeling bad before the words even came out. It was just trying to protect him, it was a smart creature, of course it would want to protect him from someone that so obviously wanted to harm him. But it didn't understand, he had to do this, he had to let them.

“It's okay, just go back to sleep.”

It didn't relent, only growing more agitated as the expendable tried to approach despite its warnings, snarling and growling like its little life depended on it. It reminded him of an angry chihuahua, not seeming to realize how tiny it was and trying to fight things 10 times as big. It would have been funny if not for the context of the situation.

Finally, as the expendable stepped just a little too close, it snapped, lunging forward and leaping at their legs.

He had seen the little tooth like protrusion on the creature’s face before, had wondered if they were functional. They were.

It's fangs sank into their leg in an instant, easily drawing blood, and it clung on even when they started kicking and screaming, shaking its head like a dog trying to maul a small animal.

It was absolutely vicious, completely merciless, only eventually relenting when they hastily began to retreat, rushing out of the vent like their life depended on it.

At the entrance of his shop only the sea bunny remained, panting lightly, still tensed, splashes of blood decorating its mouth.

He shouldn't encourage this behavior, he couldn't have it scaring away customers.. but part of him was grateful. It had meant well, even if that completely fucked over his plans, could he really fault it for protecting him?

So, he scooped it up, pressed it close to his chest, whispering reassurance to the shaking little creature. It had done well.

—

Ever since finding Jugs, going out for supply runs had been a lot less of a pain. It's enthusiasm for taking walks was infectious, it often spotted things he wouldn't have on his own. It wasn't much, but things were looking up. He still had to do what was necessary to survive, to get enough data, managed to shoo it away far enough when working for it to not try to maul anyone… usually.. there had been a few incidents. But when all was said and done, he had this little creature to fall back on, this little creature that always made itself comfortable on his lap when he was feeling particularly horrible, that would miserably paw at him whenever he reached for his drug stash and convince him to not go overboard.

He should have known. He should have known things wouldn't stay good forever.

He hadn't been looking at his surroundings much, too busy watching Jugs frolicking and messing about. That was until he heard chatter from a nearby room.

Painter, and a voice he didn't recognize, an expendable.

He could have moved on, logically, he would have moved on. But the situation sounded tense, whatever was going on here was bad news, that was obvious. So he stuck around, took a peek through the doorway where he knew he would find his friend, just to be sure. If something really was the matter, it would be better to be safe than sorry.

The door to the mesh cage that kept them safe from any who may seek to intrude was wide open.

“Cmon, I know you're with that fish, just take the data, I know you need it, it's not that big of a deal.”

“I.. I really don't know what you're talking about-”

He couldn't see Painter's expression, but the confusion and fear was evident in their voice. The expendable was getting too close, way too close.

“Fucking prude, just let me, would you, I'll pay well, I'm just curious.”

It clicked, he went pale, shooting into action the second Painter started screaming.

Sebastian caught the expendable with their pants already half way off, not pausing for a second to even consider the fact as he tore into them. Human flesh was no match for his claws, nor was human bone, they were dead in seconds, blood and brain matter quickly starting to leak onto the floor as he discarded the corpse.

“Sebastian?!- what's going on?! Why would they?!-”

“Hang on, please- just- just-”

He inspected the mechanisms that should have kept the door shut, should have kept them protected. It was broken beyond repair, he recognized his own claw marks in an instant.

This was his fault.

“It's not safe here. I know you have questions, I can't answer them, not now..just.. just hang on, it'll be fine.-”

They couldn't stay here, not after that, they weren't protected, someone could so easily come in and hurt them, they had no way of defending themself. So he picked them up, and he rushed out, blocking out all their frantic questions. Nothing else mattered, he just needed to get them to his shop, it would do for now, he didn't have any other options.

He would have a lot of explaining to do.