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Chapter Text

Eren spread his arms wide to feel the floating sensation of his burdens dying and silencing their existence. The screams of the rupturing earth below his feet seemed so far away as he gazed beyond the white clouds.

Was this how it felt to be truly alive?

His lips curved into the most genuine open smile he had made since he lost his dearest mother.

"Finally... I've reached it." He had achieved the freedom he was searching for. "That scenery." The freedom he had created with his flesh and blood.

Everything would be alright from this point, and they could be happy.

With his voice dripping with delight, he called for him .

"Right, Armin?"

Eren rotated his body to gaze at his best friend—the person who opened his eyes to the truth all those years ago. He deserved to experience this liberation with him.

Everything would be fine now.

His best friend stared at him, eyes wide and glazed. He muttered Eren's name, and his face contorted in anguish.

"Why..." He screwed his eyes shut and turned away from the brunet. "Why are you showing me this?"

The childish glee surrounding Eren's blue skies cracked, shifting to the sand plains of The Paths.

"What do you mean, Armin?" Eren's voice strained, and the blond refused to look at him. The shadows cast by the light from the coordinate power distorted Armin's soft features, causing Eren's eyes to hurt. "Isn't this what we wanted?"

We are finally free from this world!

"I've never wanted this."

"Huh?" Eren's wobbling smile made his cheeks twitch in pain.

"I—I can't do this anymore." Armin's fists shook at his sides. "I..." His gleaming tears wetted the white sand below. "Want you out of my life."

Armin's words tore his frail heart in a way he thought impossible, yet Eren laughed, tasting charcoal smoke.

"You're lying." Clearly, he heard it wrong.

The blond would never say such a thing to him. His ears were only playing a trick on him. Sure, he broke their friendship that day, but he knew Armin and Mikasa would understand and return to him.

They always did.

They always would.

"Just because you chose this path doesn't mean I have to go along." Armin gave him his back, and Eren felt his world slowly crumbling. "I don't want to see you, so please never call for me again."

No, this isn't right!

Eren grabbed his head as an intense pain seemed to be about to split his head open.

It wasn't supposed to be like this!

The soothing sound of the ocean waves made him blink his tears away as he saw himself walking towards an Armin sitting on the beach sands.

"Armin, you need to sleep." It was late into the night, but Eren wasn't surprised to see his best friend outside their tent. "What will you do if you doze off and fall from your horse?"

Armin chuckled, and the light ocean breeze made their long hair sway. "I couldn't sleep, and..." He sank his toes in the sand. "I feel like if I take my eyes off this view..."

Eren clenched his fists, and the blond gave him a friendly smile. "Do you want to stay with me?" He patted the spot next to him, and his heart tugged painfully.

The brunet sat, crossing his legs, and Armin returned to watch the dark tides. Not much in Armin had changed, becoming the new colossal titan, at least nothing noticeable at first glance. His blue eyes had lost some of their usual luster and became a little sadder every time he had to interact with anyone.

Armin moved his hand over his knees slightly, and Eren saw he was holding something. "What's that in your hand?"

The blond clenched the object and took a moment to answer, which didn't sit well with Eren. Since when was Armin reluctant to show him anything?

"Oh, this?" Armin revealed it, and it was a palm-sized, silvery-colored seashell. "It's just something I got to remember today."

He wanted to ask why he hadn't shown it before, but bit the inside of his cheek instead. It would sound too childish, and it wasn't like Armin had an obligation to him.

"It's nice..." Eren failed to disguise his emotions, and his shallow compliment did not go unnoticed.

Armin retracted his hand. "It's a good thing it was only for me." He chuckled, but his laughter was hollow, making Eren feel worse.

"Armin, I—"

"Eren, you—"

Both paused, blinking.

"Sorry! What—"

"No, it's—"

They did again, and Armin laughed a little, releasing the pressure of his chest. He placed his elbows on his knees with a more relaxed expression.

"You can go first, Armin."

The blond's lips parted, taking a second to speak. They sat there, only staring as the torches around the camp began diminishing their fire. The look in those blue eyes, Eren couldn't decipher, but it made his heartbeat accelerate.

"You..." Armin glanced at the ocean, not turning his head, and closed his eyes. "It's alright; it's nothing important." His discomfiting smile was a sign for Eren to drop it.

"But—"

"It's getting late." The blond rose to his feet and dusted his clothes as best he could. We should go before Levi or Hange notices we aren't in our tents."

Eren almost blurted out for Armin to wait, but held it in. It was best not to cross that growing bridge and watch the blond from afar, even if it made him want to scream.

The image shifted as a sudden ache in his head blurred his vision. The sound of drunken peals of laughter, foreign fabric aromas, and cheering conversations dispersed the dizziness.

A used food can with clear alcohol rested in his hand, shoes discarded somewhere along with his tie. The warmth of the kindness shown by the refugees, along with the rare feeling of contentment among his friends and family, made him smile. It was small and full of regret, but it was still honest.

The somber future he decided on wasn't far, but he wanted to forget this cruel world for at least a few hours. So he let himself drift and burn into his memory those smiles and Mikasa's lovely giggles as she enjoyed this unburdened moment. But he was missing from that perfect scene.

Where was—

"Ereeen~!"

Someone threw themselves on him from behind, and some of his alcohol slipped from his can, wetting his fingers and trousers. Eren turned to see Armin pressing his soft red cheek on his shoulder and smiling drunkenly.

"Whatchu doin', bestie friend?"

Those beautiful, half-lidded, bright blue eyes made it difficult to make his stupid tongue work. Armin giggled and crawled to sit beside him.

"Wha's wrong, Eren?" Armin cocked his head to the side, his short hair disheveled. "Are you tired? Or do you have a stomachache?"

It wasn't often, but some of Armin's mannerisms reinforced that he was the cutest person in that forsaken world. His light freckles, accentuated by the alcohol flush, contributed , too .

Eren shook his head and looked to the side before he pulled the blond into a hug. "I'm ok, Armin."

"Hmmm." Armin creased his brow, his upper lip jutting out. "You sure?"

The corner of Eren's lips twitched as he tried not to laugh at the pouting blond. "Positive."

Armin blinked lazily and smiled again. "You know Eren? You surprised me today." The smile turned to a mischievous grin, and Eren's body felt too hot under his formal clothes.

The brunet cleared his throat. "Really?" He attempted to unfasten his tie, forgetting it was already on the floor.

"Yeah," Armin placed a hand on the floor to support his weight as he slumped on his shoulder. "To see you be the first to taste a strange drink from somewhere none of us know about was quite the shock." He took a sip from his can. "I mean, you hate alcohol."

Eren wanted to stretch his legs, but didn't want to disturb Armin from his position. "I don't hate alcohol."

Armin snorted. "Yes, yes, you do." He raised an eyebrow, looking at him by the rim of the can. "You can't even drink wine, let alone beer, without spitting it out."

Eren moistened his lips; should he take his jacket off ?

"Maybe I just wanted to be respectful?" Before Armin retorted, he continued, "Besides, it tasted better than those."

Armin lowered his gaze, lips still on the can, and Eren reminded himself to stop staring at them.

"It made me happy to see that."

His dark eyebrows lifted high. "Why?"

"Well," The blond's round cheeks reddened further, and Eren's teeth ached to take a bite. "Since we discovered the outside, you've never seemed to enjoy what it brought to us, not that I blame you." He closed his eyes, still smiling. "So to see you like something as simple as a new drink from another continent... felt nice."

Eren's pink cheeks felt like fire, and he almost squashed the metal can in his hand. What could he even say to that?

Armin left his empty can on the floor and leaned closer to Eren, making him almost jerk back. "A-Armin, what?"

"You know," Eren's eyes widened as Armin tucked a brunet fringe behind his ear. "I've never told you how cute you look with this hairstyle." The blond's fingertips brushed the top of his ear to his earlobe. "It really suits you." He whispered, smiling softly.

Eren shivered, his heart beating too loud in his ears. Was Armin ever this bold before? Why was he staring at Eren like that? It couldn't be possible; Armin had—

"Guys, we got more!!" Jean and Connie screamed as they ran inside the tent, arms filled with bottles of various kinds of alcohol. "Come and get it, everyone!"

Armin snapped from what he was doing to look at the entrance as more people flocked inside. Mikasa had to pull Sasha's ponytail so she couldn't fight with Connie over the bottles.

"That's a lot." The blond glanced briefly back at Eren, but he averted his eyes, gulping the rest of his drink. "Eren, I—"

"Hey, you two!" Jean stumbled to them and wrapped an arm around Armin's neck, pulling him up. "Let's see who can drink more!"

Eren stiffened, seeing Armin laughing happily with Jean as he fed him more of the drink. It wasn't his place to intrude, but he snatched the bottle from Jean all the same.

"Oi, idiot! That's mine, give it back!" Jean tried to retrieve the bottle, but Eren used his foot on his chest to stop him.

Jean cussed him again as the brunet began to drink all the contents, not caring about it going to his head. He would not let the "horse face" win with Armin watching.

"Don't start without us!" Sasha ran towards them while holding Mikasa's hand.

Connie soon followed with some other refugees, and the night blurred together. Their exhaustion and drunkenness left them unable to sit straight. And as sleep started to take hold, Eren could almost weep, seeing everyone lie closer.

It was funny to imagine this could be enough, but reality would crush it the next day. And for him to start his plan and bring devastation to all.

Eren blinked his tears, not bothering to wipe them. Why was he seeing all this? For breaking him further?

"Whatever I do. Whatever I choose. I do it of my own free will." He said to the three occupants sitting at that restaurant table.

The silence following his words tightened his throat and heart, but he wouldn't lie. He doesn't want to, at least about this.

"No, they are controlling you," Mikasa said, voice pleading, and Eren gave his all not to sigh. "The real Eren would never involve civilians and children, even if they lived in the enemy state. You've always cared and thought about us more than anyone..."

Mikasa wasn't wrong about the last part, but that doesn't mean he would stop. No matter how much it killed him to see them hurt.

She tugged her scarf, but his gaze remained unmoving. "Aren't I right? You saved me from those kidnappers and wrapped this scarf around me because you are kind, right?!"

And look at what that kindness did to you! You became a slave and blind to your desperation!

Eren would never regret saving Mikasa and welcoming her to his family, but this love wasn't healthy. Even in his fucked-up head, he could see what it had done to her. He wished she could realize she didn't need that scarf anymore.

He was going to order her to place her hands on the table, but a soft voice prevented him.

"Is this your final answer?"

The brunet had avoided looking at those blue eyes since he sat at the table, but even with so many accumulated frustrations between them, he was ready to face them.

"Yes."

"No, this isn't you, Eren!" Mikasa desperately tried to grasp a different reality, and his lips pulled into a thin line.

Armin sighed and ran his hands over his face. "After everything we've been through, I can't believe it all came to this..." Eren opened his mouth but closed it when the blond lowered his hands. "But I shouldn't be surprised by that."

Mikasa's brow furrowed, and thankfully, her eyes weren't watering as much. "Armin, what do you mean?"

"Don't you remember what he said that day we found the ocean?" Armin asked, and Eren flexed his fingers, his stomach churning. "It was only a matter of time before everything would fall apart."

Mikasa shifted her gaze briefly to Eren before returning it to the blond. "Everything was fine before Eren disappeared—"

"Mikasa." She and Eren tensed from Armin's tone. It wasn't cold, but it didn't have the familiar warmth he always reserved for them. "You know that this isn't true."

Armin's impassiveness made the weight in Eren's chest suffocating.

"He's been spending less and less time with us for years, being vague about many things, and now he admitted he planned all this." He closed his eyes. "His brother just facilitated things for him."

Eren tried to speak, but the words dried out on his tongue, gluing his mouth shut. He could almost see the invisible walls between them, getting denser with each inhale and exhale—walls they both built during these five years.

Mikasa tugged her scarf again, her knuckles white. "That's..."

Armin gazed at the restaurant windows. "But it wasn't as if we tried to acknowledge or fix what was happening."

That confession made the room cold. There was no lie in the statement, but for Eren, Armin's indifferent behavior hurt the most.

"You're wrong," Mikasa whispered, eyes bright from new, unshed tears. "You're wrong, Armin."

"Is that why you kept visiting Annie?" Eren asked, finding his voice, but with no alleviating pressure. It wasn't because of Bertholdt's memories' influence?

Did you fall in love with the enemy of your own volition?!

Eren had predicted he would lose the two in this process and final conversation, but he doesn't remember if he had seen this kind of outcome.

"There is no point in talking anymore." The blond rose from his seat as the truth of their bond lay bare in the open , shattered.

"Armin, what are you going to do?" Mikasa asked, tears falling from her pretty dark grey eyes.

Armin walked past them without a glance, and Eren had a despicable thought. The frozen feelings he had locked away went to the front, and he almost prevented the blond from going anywhere.

Anywhere away from him.

"Our friendship means this little to you?" Eren asked, too bitter and on edge to reflect on his blatant hypocrisy.

Armin halted his steps but didn't turn his head, and Eren gritted his teeth, feeling the beginning of forming tears and the inside of his nose burn.

"A whole year spent crying over those mistakes was enough."

He was a fool.

"Just keep doing whatever you want, like you've done these last five years without me."

He was worse than a fool.

"Armin—!"

"Why are you sad?" His child's version looked at him curiously, eyes bright purple.

Eren could only stare at the childish glint in those big eyes with the shape that resembled his dear mother's.

"I—"

"Shouldn't you be happy?" The boy raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what we wanted?"

"But Armin, he..." Those purple eyes were nauseating.

"Does it even matter?" The boy spread his arms, smiling innocently, but it seemed so deranged to Eren. "Wasn't that the reason you hurt them in the first place? Transform all the Garrison soldiers into Titans and let Sasha die?"

"Stop talking."

"Nothing else is more important than our freedom, you know that."

"Shut up."

"We were born to be free." The boy laughed and spun in place. "So let's live and die happily in our new world!"

Without his friends, without his family,

Without his Armin.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP."

As if needles pierced his brain, his heart screamed alongside the lacerating despair. The overwhelming smell of blood and the ocean washed over him as it engulfed his senses. He fell to his knees, and the cold, putrid waves wrapped around his waist.

"I don't know what to do." His blunt nails dug into his head. "Why is staying alive so unfair?"

A pair of hands gently held him, and the pain dissipated. Calloused fingers ran over his hair, and he could think again.

"Mom?" Eren opened his tired eyes and saw an adult, Ymir Fritz, watching him with a warm but sad smile. "Lady Ymr?"

"I couldn't keep watching your mind getting torn apart." Ymir pulled him gently to his feet. Surprisingly, she was as tall as he in her adult form.

He was a bit lost for words since it was the first time she had spoken directly with him. She didn't seem to mind, though.

"Eren, I stopped the rumbling."

That shocked the brunet to reality. "What? Why?!"

"Because I don't think that is what you want anymore." Her gaze was still gentle. "We can continue, but is that what you desire?"

"Of course, it's what I want." It was supposed to be an affirmative statement, but it sounded more like a question in his soul.

"Can you truly achieve that freedom without that person beside you?"

Eren flinched and lowered his eyes, ashamed. "I came too far to stop now."

Ymir studied him and snapped her fingers, dissolving the paths around them. Eren was about to ask what she was doing when he saw they were in Shinganshina of the past. Before them, a memory he held so dear to his heart played. That day, his earth veered as he stared at Armin in his sky-blue eyes.

"Why are you showing me this?" He whispered, sounding strangled.

Ymir hummed, "I think you know why."

Eren stayed silent as the smiling children discussed the prohibited book and the wonders they wanted to see.

Together. Always together.

She glanced at the walls and back at the children. "What is your answer, Eren?"

Eren sighed through his nose and clenched and unclenched his fists. "That depends." He turned to her, eyes sparkling, determined. "How much of your power can you lend to me?"

"That depends," Ymir smirked, the air around her form etheric but calming. "What are you willing to do to trade for them?"

Chapter Text

Eren didn't need to think too hard about this. "I can only offer the things that belong only to me." He grabbed his chest, gripping his worn-out shirt tight. "I will give you my life, body, heart, and soul."

The brunet swallowed his anxiety, knowing it was laughable to offer something so meager to a god, but he had nothing else that was truly his.

The edges of Ymir's eyes crinkled, and she grinned, dissipating the memory with a hand wave. "That's a good answer."

"Wait, are you serious?" His eyes widened briefly, but he narrowed them next, not buying it. It couldn't be this easy. "Why would something so little be good enough for your powers?"

Her grin softened, and the blonde woman motioned for him to be beside her. Reluctantly, he did. She clasped her hands behind her back, and they walked to the coordinate.

"Because, Eren, those are the few gifts a free person can have."

Ymir said with so much simplicity that it took Eren off guard, but he understood. She lost those gifts thousands of years ago and has just now managed to break her chains.

"Besides, I want to see you be happy."

The brunet felt his eyes watering and cheeks heating from the sweet words. It was something he knew his parents would have said to him. Eren bit his lip to control the tightness of his chest, not wanting a god to see his fragility slip even more than it already had.

"I see..." And with a few more steps, they halted before the light.

"There is another reason for me to want those gifts." She extended a hand to the tree, and the light encircled her body slowly. "I want to feel alive through you, Eren."

"What?"

"I will give all my powers. With them, I want you to take hold of your future and let me taste the freedom of living with you." Ymir raised her other hand to him. "What do you say?"

He goggled at the glowing woman and reached for her, even though a twinge of fear spiked up his spine to his nape.

"Alright."

Eren held her hand, and the power surged to him almost overwhelmingly. But it felt so benevolent compared to before, when he awakened the colossal titans from their slumber. There was no hatred this time, and he fell into her arms, closing his eyes.

"Good," she cradled him close. "I can't wait."

The two beings shone brighter, and the tree's light engulfed everything. The remnants of the rays disappeared into the starry sky, and Eren opened his eyes to see the Milky Way.

"Ymir?" Eren's left eye pulsated weakly, and he heard a woman's voice.

I'm here, Eren.

A bit spooked at the new voice inside his head, he blinked quickly. "What happened?"

I merged our souls. Now we are one.

"What does that mean exactly?"

You can use all my powers without any restrictions created by the royal lineage. I will feel what you feel and disappear alongside you when your time comes.

Eren doesn't know what he should be feeling, but after so many bizarre things that have happened to his body over the years, he knows he will accept it eventually.

"I see..." His bones and skin thrummed with the founder's power, and he clenched his fist. "Zeke is useless to me then."

He has been since you woke me up in terms of power.

"Hm, good."

What are you going to do first?

"Let's call them here."

Eren concentrated on pinpointing the people he needed and pulled them to the paths. Nine people stumbled over the sand, getting their bearings.

"Eren?" Mikasa's voice trembled as she stared at the brunet, and all the other eight turned. "Eren!" She tried to approach him, but Jean stopped her.

"Mikasa, we don't know this Eren." Jean seemed apologetic, but didn't let her walk any further. "We need to be careful."

"What's going on?" Falco asked, and Gabi hugged him to calm him down. "Where are we, Gabi?"

The warriors glanced at Eren uneasily, and Reiner got in front of the children.

"What the hell is this shit place?" Levi asked, wanting a chair to sit on.

"Oh, right. You were unconscious when Eren called us here before." Hange creased their brow, getting closer to Levi. "Why did you call us here again?"

"I don't think that guy is Eren," Connie said, getting into a defensive position.

"What are you talking about, Springer?"

"One of his eyes is blue, almost purple even," Pieck said.

"Now that you mentioned..." Hange squinted their eye. "You're right!"

"Where is Armin?" Eren's voice wasn't loud, but they all felt it was a command to focus their attention on him and nothing else. "Why isn't he here?"

"How the fuck should we know?" Levi's glare worsened. "The stupid kid left."

"Left?"

Mikasa sighed. "Armin told us he needed to leave to gather his thoughts and told us not to waste our lives trying to stop you."

"It was quite the shock to hear him say that." Hange mused, keeping an eye on Levi's frail state. "We thought he just needed a few hours alone. When he didn't come back last night, we checked his room. It was empty."

"He took all his things except that book and a letter," Mikasa added, and Jean placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Knowing that kid, he probably thought he was doing us a favor," Levi grumbled. "Thinking he wasn't good enough to help and shit like that. If I could, I would have beaten that notion out of his head."

"I should have known what was on his mind from how he was looking at us yesterday." Mikasa sighed.

"He wrote that he doesn't know if he will return," Connie said, looking at the strange Milky Way. "He's... gone."

Eren's heart burned from how frantic it began to beat. No, it can't be. "I can't locate him." The Paradisians looked at one another in different levels of worry, and Eren's veins turned to ice. "I-Is he—?"

Eren, calm yourself, or you will strain your mind.

He winced, still not used to having another person in his head that wasn't one of his father's memories. He pressed his nails to his scalp, wanting to rip the skin.

How can you tell me to calm down?!

Armin Arlert is alive. If he had perished, you would have felt it through the coordinate.

Eren narrowed his eyes. What are you talking about?

A demonstration could be more useful than mere words. Why don't you slay one of the other shifters before you?

You want me to kill them now?

Weren't you planning to do it anyway? They are your enemies, after all.

Eren shook his head, clenching his fists. Forget about them for now! If Armin isn't dead, why can't I call him?! Or feel his presence?!

I suppose there's no reason to keep it hidden, but before we merged, I had closed the connection with him.

His spine straightened as he felt his stress building. You did what?!

It was what that unfortunate boy wanted, so I considered his wish. I know you are angry and hurt, but I believe it was for the best.

You don't have the right to decide what is best between him and me! Didn't you say you wanted me to be happy?

Yes, that did not change, but you would have gone against that boy's wishes if you had the connection. Do you believe he would reciprocate the feeling of wanting to speak with you after last time?

You can't be serious!! Was it all a lie, all that talk about the royal blood?

No, it was not. A forced marriage doesn't turn a slave's blood into royalty.

Eren ducked his head, pressing and twisting his lips. But how can I fix things between us if I can't talk to him?

He is on your island, and you can always find him.

And how will I do that if I have no clue where to begin?!

You are a shrewd young man, Eren. I know you will find a way.

Ymir, let me open the connection!

I apologize, but that won't happen until you both talk face-to-face away from the paths.

You—!!!

"Why do I feel I will see the biggest tantrum of my career?" Levi asked, deadpanned.

"It's like I'm seeing the Eren from the past." Reiner lifted his eyebrows, still close to the cowering children.

"Haven't seen that murderous expression in years," Connie said.

"It's a little nostalgic." Hange reminisced.

"Maybe there is still hope for us," Jean said to Mikasa, and the woman nodded, feeling more optimistic. "Hey, Eren! Why don't we—?"

Eren dropped his hands to his knees and screamed, head down. "Fuck!!"

After this is all done, I will eat a full plate of horseradish without vinegar.

Are you going to torture yourself to give me a lesson? That seems a little counterproductive. Although it will be my first time tasting it. It will be an intriguing experience , no doubt .

Quiet!

"Alright, let's get this over with." He rose to a more dignified posture and neutral expression. "I called all of you here to say I won't continue the rumbling."

A collective of surprised comments and questions followed, but it soon quieted down when he continued.

"But Marley will be destroyed since it still has the armament and technology to destroy Paradis. And before any of you ask about fairness." Eren locked eyes with Reiner, making the blond man and the children flinch. "You were the ones who threw the first rock when you broke those walls."

"Please, you can't do that!" Gabi begged, and this time, Falco had to tug her close. "My family is still there! I'm sorry for what we've done, but please!"

"I will give you a chance to stop me, but I'm warning all of you. The moment you set foot on that soil, you will die." Eren said frigidly, and they could almost feel a shift in that strange place. "No one from the island will stop you from getting to the ships."

Eren waved his hand and made the Marleyans disappear from the paths. He doesn't want to do a back-and-forth with them.

"What made you change your mind, Eren?" Hange asked. "From how you spoke before, you weren't going to stop at just Marley."

Eren clenched his jaw. He couldn't explain something so personal and probably so stupid. "The founder Titan made me see another way through their power." Let's go with that. "I can protect the island without destroying the rest."

The relief from Mikasa was palpable, and even though Jean was staring at him with distrust, he seemed calmer.

"Really? Just like that?" Connie asked. "After all the things you did?"

"I—"

"Forget about that crap." Levi pushed Hange out of the way and stomped his way to Eren. "I don't give a shit about the rumbling. I just need to kill that monkey bastard. So where are you hiding him?"

Even with all this power, Eren could feel sweaty beads on his forehead from Levi's hateful gaze. Hurt or not, he was a man who couldn't be messed with, much to Eren's chagrin.

"I needed him to open the way for the founder, and since I have all their power, Zeke is meaningless. When I return to Paradis, I will give him to you."

Levi wanted to level him down—too suspicious Eren would let him have Zeke that easily. "You better, if you don't want me shoving a blade up your—"

"Oooookaaay!" Hange pulled Levi back far away from the brunet, laughing awkwardly. "Let's not be too graphic in front of kids. Right? Right." They whispered something to the shorter man, and he tsked.

"Will any of you still try to fight me?" Eren asked, praying he didn't need to do what he did to Annie.

"I can't talk for all of them, but I won't." Hange chewed their lower lip. "I may understand why Marley needs to disappear, but I will never see it as a good solution." They sighed, exhausted. "But it isn't like I created a way before all this mess to help us anyway."

Mikasa seemed to want to ask something, but refrained from it. Her sad, downcast eyes spoke volumes.

"Eren, can you..." Connie hesitated, his eyes bright. "Can you turn my mother back?"

Eren guessed he could, but it would be best to ask Ymir rather than give him false hope. Would she respond, though? After the way he talked to her?

Ymir, can we do it?

Yes. Ymir said with no fanfare and didn't seem mad. You will know if I ever feel angered.

Eren held in a shudder and responded. "Yes, I can turn her back to normal."

"I don't want to doubt your new almighty powers, but from your confidence, I can trust you will come back alive, right?" Jean asked.

"Tell me you will come back, Eren." Mikasa pleaded with a hand on her chest.

He would smile to help ease her worries, but he had no energy. "Don't worry, I will come back home."

When he sent the others back, he had to talk with Floch not to hurt or hunt any of them or the other foreigners. Any resistance to his orders, he would not take lightly.

Floch wasn't happy but followed his orders and would pass them to the other Yeagerists. He believed in his plans and wouldn't back down after all they'd done together. Though Eren didn't tell him, the plans changed.

"Let's see what the Marleyans will do." Eren needed to deal with them and the rest of Marley as fast as possible and start looking for Armin.

However, he wasn't expecting how long it would take him to find him and made sure to voice his displeasure every chance he got with Ymir. On the other hand, Ymir appeared more amused than frustrated by his remarks, infuriating Eren even more.

Chapter Text

The birthday party was coming to a close around noon, and as the guests bid their farewells, Eren studied at the farthest table on the property. He hadn't moved from his seat during the five-hour party and didn't offer to help clean like Jean and Mikasa.

"Why don't you take a break?"

Historia placed a piece of carrot cake on his table and pulled a chair beside him, taking extra care not to hurt her pregnant belly.

Eren, eat the cake.

"Not now, Historia," Eren said, ignoring the goddess and writing something on a large map. "I'm busy." 

Eren, eat the cake.

"Mmhm." Historia ate the piece she bought for herself and watched her daughter play with her friends over the green farm fields.

Eren.

"Good thing we placed the cloth covers over the tables, or you would have cooked in the sun. Again."

Eren.

The brunet pressed his pencil on the map, using more force than necessary, making a harsh line in the paper as he wrote the next letters.

Cake.

"For fuck's sake. Fine!" Eren took the fork and stabbed the cake, taking a sizeable chunk. He shoved it into his mouth, chewing with great suffering. "Happy now?"

Much so, and do not forget to drink the juice from those expensive green apples.

Eren groaned and massaged his temple, wishing for the hundredth time he had a way to block her voice.

"Are you talking to me or the founder in your head?"

"You know it's the voice." Eren shoved more cake into his mouth and threw the fork on the empty plate. "She is relentless about this type of too-sweet and disgusting food. Good thing it's not everywhere."

"So you're the reason the merchants don't sell sugar from sugar cane the entire year, and here I thought you were just not interested in the subject when I brought it up." Historia grinned, seeing his face turn from bothered to guilty. "Besides the usual prejudice, we've been trying to understand why for some time."

It is too unfortunate; not even I can make you see reason often.

You're always saying that because you want sweets, and I don't. You're the one acting like a child here.

Perhaps.

Eren humphed, feeling he had won for a change in their daily back-and-forth.

Or someone has influenced me to act more selfishly since the said person does not like to listen.

Eren's eye twitched, and he broke his pencil in his hand. Can you stop doing that?

Drink the green apple juice, Eren.

"Uuuuurhhhhh." Eren ran his hands over his face, his stubble prickling against his palms.

"Sometimes, I wish I could hear what she says to make you act like that." Historia chuckled at Eren's continuous melodrama with the goddess.

"One voice is enough for me, so don't give her ideas."

Historia finished her slice of cake and observed Eren reading his notes. He could tell she wanted to talk but was having difficulty getting started. He could predict what she would ask.

"Have you found any clues about... Armin?"

Eren closed his eyes. "If I had, I wouldn't be here without him."

She pressed her lips together, knowing his temper would worsen if she kept talking about Armin, but she needed to say it. "Eren, about Armin. Do you—

"Historia," Eren cut her off, his tone surly. "My answer will never change." 

"It's not about you finding him, but..." She glanced at her hands. "Your feelings."

Eren didn't like where this conversation was going. "What about them?" 

"How will you handle it if he doesn't feel the same?"

His shoulders tensed as a familiar anger brewed in his heart, but Historia knew he needed to acknowledge it. Everyone had been skirting the subject for years, but it's been too long.

"What if he already has someone or a family of his own? What will you do?"

"This conversation is over." He rose from his seat and grabbed his things, crumpling the map. "Tell the others I said bye."

"Eren, please!" Historia shouted.

Eren refused to listen and stomped to the stables, making the chickens and ducks scatter out of his way.

"It's been nine years!"

His head began to throb from how much he was clenching his teeth and fists. He entered the stables and closed his eyes. Did they think Eren hadn't imagined every scenario he would find when meeting Armin again? How many times had he cried, imagining if Armin didn't forgive him or if he couldn't make him return?

How, in those disparaging nights, did he have to control himself, imagining he would find Armin in another's arms? Someone other than him who would cherish Armin and have all his attention?

Eren opened the map and the plans for his next destination, feeling his heart aching.

But it's been so long...

Clearly, Armin didn't want anything to do with them, or, for that matter, him, so why does he keep trying? Wasn't he wasting his days and nights in an endless goose chase, and for what? To get his heart broken? To take Armin from the happy life he may have now?

What was he even doing?

Eren ripped the map into pieces, his anger growing by the second. He was an idiot! Eren was the biggest idiot in this ugly world!

"Eren," Mikasa called his name softly by the door, and he realized he had been crying.

He did not turn to Mikasa, who walked to him and silently began picking up the pieces of his torn map on the wooden floor.

"Why haven't you ever asked me to stop looking for him?" Eren asked as Mikasa handed him the pieces.

"Because you are not the only one who wants him back." Mikasa dusted off her hands next. "Go and apologize to Historia before you go, and come to our house. I packed some food for your journey."

Mikasa was as blunt as ever, and as he watched her leave to gather the kids, Eren relaxed a little. Armin's absence was a gaping hole in all their lives. He often forgets he wasn't searching for Armin for himself but for the rest of their family.

Are you ready to continue?

"Yes." Eren wiped the tear tracks off his cheeks.

Good. Then let's depart at sunrise.

Eren's lips twitched in a semi-smile, and he went to get Umi out of the stables. At least she forgot about the juice.

I nearly failed to remember that you haven't obtained that apple juice.

Facepalming, Eren let out a loud, annoyed groan.

Now be a dear and make haste before the children drink it all, or you will have to produce it.

"I will go talk with Historia..."

"How strange." Eren pulled his mare's reins to stop at a large ravine. "I can't see any cornfields the guards told us about."

They had been tracking a lead about a secret farm where some Marley refugees were hiding. There was no sign of any farm upon following the main river across the Holst district, but nothing came from quitting so soon.

With a little fortune, this river flows into the ocean.

"Yes... It's been a while since you played in the waves, hasn't it, Umi?" Eren petted the mare's strong neck, and she snorted. "Well then, let's see what we will find."

Galloping for an hour, Eren saw some smoke coming from deep inside the forest they were passing through and investigated. It seemed like a small settlement, seen from outside the old, long, wooden plaque gates.

The guard at the entrance would let him pass, but he had to put Umi in their stables, and Eren hesitated. The guard didn't recognize him or his voice, which was a good thing, but leaving Umi could be dangerous.

With Ymir's powers, he made the guard forget he had come with a horse after safely hiding Umi in the forest. Eren could feel many eyes upon him as he walked over the dirt road, but with no imminent danger, he began asking the few people he encountered about Armin.

While describing Armin to an older couple at their food stand, a young man, about nineteen years old, asked for Armin's surname.

"Arlert, Armin Arlert." Eren didn't miss how rigid the young man's posture became and the alarmed look in the older woman's eyes.

"If it's alright with you, can I ask why you are looking for this Armin guy?" The older man asked—suspicion was evident in his tired, grey eyes.

Eren frowned at the intrusive question and looked around.

You can tell them the truth. The people of this village aren't malicious.

Alright.

"He is—was my best friend, but I hurt him, and he left." Eren sighed, relaxing his features. "It's been nine years, but I've never given up on finding him to apologize for what I've done."

The man stared at him for a second. "There is Armin Arlert, who comes here once every few days to sell fish."

Eren's eyes widened, and he felt dizzy with the pent-up emotion begging to be released. He hated feeling this inconclusive hope, but he needed it, even if he would later drink away his frustrations when it turned out to be false.

He leaned back and sat on his small chair behind his stand. "Before you ask, no, we don't know where he lives."

The older woman seemed to relax with the response, and Eren resisted the urge to narrow his eyes and use his powers.

Eren stepped back from the stand. "I see... thank you for the information. Have a good day."

If it had been his younger self, he would have forced the truth from those three, but he knew better now.

They seemed quite protective of this person.

Yes, that's a good sign, but for now, let's make camp and monitor the gate for a few weeks.

Eren was halfway walking back to the village gates when the young man from before called for him.

"Please, sir! Wait a moment." He stopped before Eren, a little short of breath. "I think I can help you."

Eren arched an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes, uhm, I don't know exactly where Mr. Arlert lives, but I know he likes to bring us strange salty fish, and he often smells of salt water. He doesn't have a horse or mule, so he walks to get here, but I don't know the direction. Mr. Arlert is very reclusive and doesn't like to talk a lot about himself, and he refuses to come live here."

"That's quite helpful..." Eren squinted his eyes, and the young man perked up.

"You can call me Felix!"

"Nice to meet you, Felix." Eren stretched out his hand, and Felix shook it. "You can call me Kruger, but can I ask why you're helping me?"

Felix stared at his own hand and blushed when he took too long to answer. "S-sorry, it's because Mr. Arlert has helped us a lot, but he looks so sad sometimes that I've always wanted to help him in some way." Felix smiled, blushing slightly.

It irked Eren, but he quickly disposed of the useless jealousy. It was probably puppy love or admiration; besides, he wasn't sure it was his Armin yet.

"And you trust my story?"

"It's the first time someone has asked about him, and the little he spoke about was about losing his friends and, well..." Felix rubbed behind his head, looking away. "You have the eyes of the person who had been his best friend."

Eren blinked two, three, and four times before he could think of a response, but in the end, he only said, "Thank you for your help," and walked away.

The color of his eyes was something very uncommon, and if Felix was right, it meant he...

Eren halted, feeling dizzy and almost having an out-of-body experience, but a little jolt of energy made him snap out of it.

You need to focus, Eren.

Eren ran a hand over his face and closed his eyes. "Right, you're right. It's just... I wish you would tell me; I will be right this time."

Ymir didn't respond as Eren placed two things in his mouth and whistled. Umi appeared from the trees, and Eren petted her head.

"Well, at least we have a natural ocean magnet, isn't that right, Umi?"

Umi neighed and bumped her muzzle on his face, making Eren chuckle.

"Let's go then."