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Chapter Text

Namjoon has always been a poet. 

As a pup, he started talking early, wrapping his tongue around words as though tasting fine fruit. He wanted to know the root of each syllable he heard, reveled in the way his sounds were suddenly meaningful. He craved learning the way most of the other pups craved a bout of wrestling or an extra portion of meat. 

He was always eager to get to the little alcove of the cave used for teaching the pups. They learned all sorts of things: how to use their noses, how to communicate in howls and barks, how to shift forms and use their teeth safely for play. They learned how to care for their fur and where to grind down their claws if they got too long. 

Their teacher also told them stories of wolves past, detailing their ancestors and their legacies. Most of the stories were about alphas, their feats of strength and leadership, the hunting strategies they developed, the pack lands they sowed. The roles of betas and omegas were strangely absent from most of the stories. 

But Namjoon’s favorite part of lessons was always learning how to read and write. 

Many of the pups (and even some of the grown wolves) felt this a waste of time, especially when some pups were certain to present as alphas. Reading and writing were frivolous activities, useless but for the preservation of history and the entertainment of restless omegas. What need did an alpha have for stories, when they would certainly be occupied with protecting the pack? And what need did a beta have for writing, except perhaps to label remedies in the medicinal stores? Truly, even the omegas should be otherwise occupied with caring for the pups and their alphas. The idea of writers , of artists , was scoffed at. What a human mindset, to wish to become something that contributes so little to the pack. Wolves have no need for the frivolity of art, of poetry. 

Only because it seemed certain that Namjoon would present as an omega, his dreams were loosely entertained. 

His teacher let him linger in the alcove after lessons, patiently answered his questions about definitions and images, cleared a space for him to practice his letters in the dirt long after the other pups had bounced outside to play. He loved watching the words form, loved the magic of creating something from nothing at all. 

“Where did language come from?” he often asked curiously. No matter who he questioned about this, the answer never satisfied him. He didn’t think something so huge, so complex, could have come from a single wolf. Nor did he particularly believe in any sort of higher power. The only explanation that made any sense was some kind of magic. 

And Namjoon was bewitched. 

There aren’t many books available to Namjoon. Few of the other wolves are interested in reading, not when there are far more exciting activities and tasks that need attending to. So Namjoon has gone through the meager shelves over and over, always dreaming that a new story will appear, that a new book will somehow grow from between the slats of the bookcase. 

When that doesn’t happen, he starts to make up his own stories. 

He stumbles through it at first. While many of his favorite tales seem so simple, he realizes quickly that there is an art to that simplicity. The words must be carefully chosen, the characters clear without an overabundance of description. His first stories are jumbled, the plot meandering and weaving in ways that are really only intelligible to his young mind. 

The older wolves seem endeared by his performances, though. They simply smile at the machinations of a simple future-omega. Surely he’ll grow out of this hobby once he presents, once he has real aspirations and duties. They do not ask all the questions that his peers do when he tries to bribe them into storytime, either (“But why did they jump into the river? Did they not smell the predators? Why would the wolf want to be a writer?). 

Eventually, as he grows older, Namjoon learns to take these questions and use them to improve. He tries to think of them himself as he constructs his plot, his characters, his settings. What would he think if he read the story? Would he be confused? Do the characters make sense? What motivates them? 

Still, he is wont to tumble into flowery turns of phrase, to pile simile upon metaphor, to incorporate complex symbolism that is little appreciated nor understood by his pack. He is a quiet student, now that he has his writing to entertain him, but he still manages to use sound in clever ways too. His teacher Sakura marvels at his natural talent, but she has no real way to assist him other than providing him encouragement. 

And one day, she introduces him to poetry. 

“Namjoon, I was tidying up and realized that I had this book hidden away in my den. Would you like it?” she offers him a small volume, the edges a bit damaged, the cover in a state of disrepair. 

But all Namjoon sees is a new book, finally, finally. 

He does his best not to snatch it from her hands, though he’s not entirely certain he succeeds. 

“Thank you, teacher,” he says, lowering his head in gratitude. She nods softly at him, letting him retreat to the little corner he loves to curl up in. He is gentle with the pages, despite his excitement. He doesn’t want to ruin this wish, this perfect gift that he’s hoped and hoped for all these years. 

He is a little disappointed at first, when he realizes many of the pages are only half-filled with words, the chapters short and choppy-looking, the margins different from any other book he has seen before. It doesn’t seem to be a story at all, not in the traditional sense. 

“Teacher? What kind of book is this? The words are broken up all strangely,” he asks, frustration coiling in his chest. 

“Oh, it’s called poetry. The words are supposed to be kind of like music. It’s the sort of thing you must read many times to truly understand, so I think you will enjoy the book,” she tells him absently. 

Namjoon frowns, but returns to the first page anyway. He’s not going to turn his nose up at any book, even if it doesn’t seem to follow any of the comfortable rules of all the books he’s read before. 

And actually…actually, the book isn’t bad, he decides. He doesn’t understand it all, not even close, just like his teacher said. He has to ask about words often, and even she doesn’t know all of them. He tries to see the images of each poem, to understand their messages, but they seem to be shrouded in layers of dust that he must carefully clean away. 

He carries the little book with him everywhere, thinking about it constantly. The mystery of the words, the way they are so beautiful yet so impenetrable…it haunts him. He wants to understand how someone could write in such a way. He wants to do that too. 

The desire consumes much of his youth, his focus unbreakable. He has little interest in the activities of the other young wolves; he hardly joins in the wrestling matches or the runs through the forest. He exists most vibrantly within his own mind, only participating in the most peripheral of ways in pack activities. He feels deeply that he’s found his purpose: he is meant to be a poet.

Their pack lives deep in the forest, far from humans and any other packs, at least as far as Namjoon knows. He’s always been taught that pack is safe, but everything outside is not. Sometimes, the alphas will venture off to collect supplies from the closest human village, but this only happens a few times a year. Mostly, they are self-sufficient. 

But when the supply runs happen, if the alphas are feeling generous, they sometimes take requests. Usually, this is for courting gifts or items for celebrations. Namjoon wishes he could ask for books, but he knows the alphas wouldn’t want to waste their energy carrying heavy volumes all the way from the village to the forest. So he never asks. 

He is shocked, then, when his parents present him with a birthday gift soon after a supply run. 

They have gotten him a typewriter. 

Namjoon has never seen such a thing, never even imagined a contraption so magnificent. He wants to whimper and howl with excitement, with gratitude, when they explain what it is. 

“We thought perhaps it would be helpful when it comes time for you to begin a courtship,” his father explains. “Your wolf may be rather plain, but an alpha might be lured by pretty words too.” 

“Perhaps it will be a way for you to assist with some of the omega duties as well,” his mother suggests. “Labeling the herb stores, helping the teacher with lessons, writing little love notes to please your alpha…”

Namjoon resists the urge to crinkle his nose. Though he is old enough to present now at twenty-two, he still has yet to officially become an omega. Everyone is quite certain that’s what he will be, and for a long time he just accepted the belief as truth. But…there is something inside Namjoon that feels restless at the assumption, at the idea that he must find and submit to an alpha. He shakes it off; he clearly knows little of these things, and cares to think about them even less. 

Instead, he focuses on the gift. 

He knows that parchment is expensive, and that he is unlikely to come by more with any regularity, so he uses it sparingly. He taps ever so slowly on the keys, wanting to make as few mistakes as possible. He will often write out his ideas in the dirt first, drafting and redrafting until he feels confident in making his thoughts more permanent. 

He writes poems. 

He doesn’t believe for a moment that his parents want him to explore the beauty of language, to truly become a poet. It’s more about the optics of such a thing: an omega with an expensive typewriter, one that is intelligent but only insofar as it benefits the pack and his alpha. One that writes stories to entertain the multiple pups he is sure to bear. One that will perhaps record the greatness of his alpha, of his pack, for future generations to see. 

But Namjoon’s poems are never about alphas, and they never sing the praises of his pack. 

He writes about the wind, the way it feels like a different entity against his fur than against his bare skin. He writes about how this is the only touch he feels, often for weeks on end. He writes about the way he can lay absolutely still, yet the world moves around him. He writes about the way he feels lonely, even when he’s surrounded by his pack. 

He doesn’t show his poems to anyone, not anymore. Most of the wolves don’t care much to read them, and those that might don’t really understand. 

“The words sound beautiful, but I’m not sure what they mean,” he’s heard all too often from his only friends, Seokjin and Hoseok. He knows they don’t mean to hurt him, but he wishes that someone did understand. He wishes that his words meant something. 

He keeps on writing, the poems piling up in the small corner of his family den. He’s even found a few leaves that are large enough to hold some of his shorter poems if he writes carefully. He can sometimes even make use of both sides of a piece of parchment, as long as he allows enough time for the ink to dry in between uses. He thinks perhaps he can find some semblance of happiness in this routine. Maybe there will be an alpha that will allow him to continue carving out small moments of peace in a life that he is otherwise ill-suited to.

When Namjoon finally presents at 25, everything changes. 

He feels strange for a few days before, his body lagging behind his mind, his limbs heavier than usual, his nose attuned to every small shift in the air. He thinks maybe he’s getting sick, or maybe he lingered too long in the chilly river after bathing. He doesn’t really even consider that he might be presenting, since he hasn’t thought much about it in years. He is a bit older than typical presentation age, but it’s never been a concern. He’s always been told that he’ll be an omega, and he certainly wasn’t in any rush to reach the stage of his life when he would be forced to seek an alpha. 

That turns out to be the opposite of his problem. 

Namjoon wakes one morning with his cock aching, drenched in sweat, mind hazy and confused. He whimpers, his body sore and feverish, his hand reaching down to feel for the source of the pain, and finds…a lump. 

What is wrong with him? Has some sort of insect crept into his bedding in the night and bitten him? Why is he so swollen? And why does it feel sort of…nice? 

He’s afraid to look, finding any sort of injury or ailment he’s seen or had before a bit nauseating. Hoseok always says that he’s a baby when he’s scraped a paw or hit his head on a low-hanging tree branch. Namjoon, however, thinks it’s perfectly natural to be disturbed by swollen or bleeding body parts. 

He also hasn’t spent a lot of time considering his cock, not when there is so much else in the world to think about, but he supposes that he now has to. He wriggles out from beneath the furs he was sleeping under, peering anxiously between his legs. He grips his half-hard cock, tilting it forward to inspect more carefully. 

He…he has a knot. 

But that can’t be possible. Namjoon has always been an omega , or at least he was supposed to be. He is soft and quiet and content to follow the whims of others. He prefers his own company, likes to craft his small poems and admire the river and listen to the birds. He rarely thinks about sex, doesn't care about power or influence or any particular subgender, to be quite frank. 

He isn’t supposed to be an alpha . 

He doesn’t know what to do, has never even considered the possibility that he would present as an alpha. He thought he might not present at all, given his age. It could happen, though he doesn’t know of any wolves in the pack that haven’t presented eventually. Maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part. 

His family is sure to smell him soon, if they haven’t already. There are huts set aside for presentations, ruts, and heats for wolves that don’t have a partner or still live in their familial den. He realizes hazily that he’ll have to make his way to one of those, embarrassing as it may be to cross the pack grounds smelling like…like… burning mahogany . 

He’s always smelled a bit woodsy, but now it’s like he’s a campfire, smoke and ash and distress wafting off of him in waves. He’s sure the scent will even out after the next few days, but the whole pack will know he’s presenting as soon as he emerges from the den, if they don’t already. 

And…and they’re all going to know he’s presenting as an alpha . 

Namjoon knows that scents don’t predict anything, and lots of wolves will experience significant scent change as they age. Some will become sweeter, others lighter, and still more will shift to a new scent altogether. So it was nothing to be concerned about when his scent did have more of an alpha profile; it would likely just change once he presented, shifting to be more appealing to the alphas he was supposed to attract. 

Instead, now he has this intense, musky smell. Alpha.  

He wraps himself in a fur despite the heat, hoping that maybe it will conceal at least a small amount of his dignity. He glances around the den, looking for anything that might provide him comfort in the days to come. He wishes he could bring his typewriter, but it’s too large to carry, and he doesn’t want to break it. He’s certain his family would never buy him a new one, especially considering the new circumstances. Plus, it’s unlikely he’ll be clear-headed enough to write anything in the next few days anyway. 

Instead, he grabs a few pieces of parchment and ink, his book of poems, and his water flask, and steels himself to trudge towards the rut huts. 

He keeps his head lowered, trying not to attract attention, but it’s simply impossible. While Namjoon is usually able to blend in, moving from place to place without notice, today every head turns towards him. He shrinks in upon himself, stifling the whimpers and increased waves of distress he’s surely emitting. 

“Namjoon! Where are you—” he hears Seokjin call out to him. His sentence ends abruptly, likely when he catches Namjoo’s scent on the breeze. Still, after a pause, he continues to follow him, gesturing wildly at Hoseok to come too. 

Namjoon crumples inside the first hut he reaches, letting his fur blanket drop away and his belongings scatter on the floor around him. Seokjin and Hoseok dart in the door behind him, shutting it quickly and sharing a glance before kneeling at his sides. 

“Namjoon…are you…are you presenting? As an alpha? ” Seokjin asks him softly. 

Namjoon nods miserably. 

“Oh. Oh. Well…that is certainly not expected. But it’s okay! We’ll help you,” Hoseok says. Namjoon whips his head up at that, eyes wide and terrified. “Not like that, Joonie, relax. We’ll be here if you want us to, or we can just come back to check on you? Make sure you eat and have water?” 

Namjoon whines, hiding his face in the fur. He doesn’t know what he wants, doesn’t know what to say to the offer. He’s ashamed, embarrassed of his scent and the heat coursing through him. He doesn’t want anyone to see him this way, but he also doesn’t want to be alone. What if something goes wrong? And how will he get food or water? He won’t be able to bathe, won’t be able to write, won’t be able to go look at the river or the clouds or the grasses in the meadow. 

“How about we start out staying with you, and if you get uncomfortable, we can go?” Seokjin suggests. Namjoon nods, thinking that he will probably lack the resolve to ask them to leave once the rut-like phase of presentation hits. It won’t be a full rut, won’t cause him to feel quite so desperate, but his body will be changing, adjusting to accommodate the influx of new hormones. He’s sure to feel achy and exhausted and sick. He’ll need their support, even if he hates to ask for it. 

His friends help him to the large covered floor cushion in the corner of the hut, already made up with lightweight sheets. Beside it, there are plenty of blankets in a basket for omegas who want to nest. 

That should have been me, Namjoon thinks blearily. He should have been nesting, should have been testing out the blankets to assess which was softest, which would hold his scent most effectively, which would be the nicest for the innermost layers of his nest. 

Instead, he is hot and sweaty and stinky. He is growing a knot. He is going to be expected to breed . He is going to have to take charge, to participate in hunts and pack politics and patrols. He’s going to have to become someone else. 

His emotions battle within his head, exhausting him further. Honestly, he welcomes that feeling. He would rather be asleep, unable to think about the reality of what is happening to him.

“Drink some water before you rest, Namjoon, you’ll need it,” Hoseok brings his canteen forward, and Namjoon drinks. Slowly at first, but then greedily as he realizes just how desperate he is for water. He feels the stirrings of hunger too, but he’s not going to ask his friends to feed him. He’ll think about it when he wakes up. 

He sleeps, fitfully but enough. He hears Hoseok and Seokjin moving about the small space when he starts coming to, smells the food they must have fetched while he slept. That’s what really wakes him; the gurgling in his stomach insists that he go investigate. 

He still aches all over; his legs feel as though he’s been wandering the woods for days without rest, and his head swims when he sits up. He still feels the strange swelling of his cock too, but he cannot indulge in any sort of relief for that in front of his friends. Beyond that, he just feels wrong in his body, more so than ever before. He can’t imagine being able to surmount that mental barrier, regardless of the discomfort it may bring him. 

“You hungry, Joon?” Seokjin asks him, offering a bowl of stew. It smells delicious, plenty of seasonings and deer meat and vegetables heaped into his dish. He gratefully accepts, wolfing it down so quickly he wonders if it was ever there to begin with. He feels a bit more sated, so he assumes it must have been. 

“How are you feeling?” Hoseok asks, gently brushing Namjoon’s sweaty hair back from his forehead. “We didn’t have many symptoms at presentation, since we’re both betas, but we’ve seen enough others to help.”

Namjoon knows that’s true. Hoseok has worked with the healers for as long as he can remember. Even as a pup, Hoseok was intrigued by all the herbs and concoctions made there, wanting to know how the healers remembered so much. He was determined to learn it all himself, too, and did so with surprising speed. He took over for the lead healer when he was growing old, unable to go out searching for the right plants for all the little tinctures and potions. 

So Hoseok has certainly helped plenty of the pack through presentation, and will know what to give Namjoon to make his symptoms less dramatic. Perhaps something to ease the pain, to reduce his fever. Plenty of water and food to keep his system as balanced as possible. 

But what he can’t offer…is a way to reverse this. 

As much as he’d like to pretend that this won’t make a difference, as much as he knows he’ll still try to cling to his dreams at first, Namjoon is resigned to his fate deep down. He knows the way the pack runs. He knows the way of the world. He can’t hope to spend his days in the woods, dreaming up stories and writing little poems. Not as an alpha. There are expectations, or really, requirements , for alphas. Though they are often the most esteemed in the pack, they are also the rarest presentation. 

There will be so many more eyes on Namjoon every day. He won’t be able to slink away so easily, won’t be able to have many moments to himself. There will always be someone needing him, for protection or guidance or breeding. 

He shakes his head at Hoseok, not having the words to express what he’s feeling. How does he begin to say that he doesn’t want to be an alpha? That he feels wrong in his body now, more so than he ever has? That he worries about the tectonic shift happening inside him? Can he survive something so monumental? How does a person live when their wolf isn’t the same as the rest of them? 

Seokjin silently clears away Namjoon’s empty dish, then returns with a small jar of liquid. “Drink this, it will help with any of the discomfort.” 

Namjoon does so without a word. The other two exchange worried looks. 

“Maybe we can help build you a nest? It might feel more comfortable, if we add some of our scents too?” Hoseok offers. Namjoon considers, then nods. He starts to parse through the blankets and pillows, looking for the right options. He’s always been good at making a comfortable nest; just another reason it was certain that he’d present as an omega. But now…he questions every selection he makes. Won’t this one be too hot? And that one too scratchy? Would he even want pillows? 

Frustrated, he crawls back under the single sheet and curls up in a ball, turned away from his friends. Maybe becoming an alpha made him lose any semblance of nesting instincts, any ability he had to comfort himself. He feels Hoseok rustling around behind him, shuffling the blankets about, tucking them into a loose nest around him. He and Seokjin crawl in behind Namjoon, nosing at his wrists and neck, trying to soothe him. 

He breathes in their calming pheromones, Hoseok’s sandalwood and Jin’s eucalyptus. It helps a little, makes him feel slightly more settled, at least physically. Everyone is biologically inclined to respond to a beta’s scent; it’s part of their role in the pack. They’re the most useful in many ways, making sure that the pack is fed and healthy, that anyone who becomes sick is cared for, that there is someone to calm stressed alphas before they get too caught up in knotheaded arguments. 

Namjoon would have been okay with presenting as a beta. 

Actually, it might have even been ideal if he had. Betas have a lot more leniency in how they conduct themselves, in the variety of activities they’re allowed to do. Namjoon has spent a lot of time in the medical hut with Hoseok, observing him work. He’s even scripted some labels for the herbs and plants and remedies, since Hoseok always says he has nice penmanship. 

“It’s from all those hours of writing,” Namjoon would always tell him. 

He’d also sneak in to see Jin while he worked on meals for the pack. He would often playfully scold Namjoon, accusing him of trying to get a taste of the meal before everyone else (which wasn’t always wrong), but Namjoon knew that Jin enjoyed his company. Jin was always careful to save any part of their kills that could be used, scraps of fur and antlers and bone. He was one of the few wolves that seemed to care at all about the sanctity of hunting. 

Namjoon was never much help in the kitchen, lacking the stomach for all the dismembering and cutting of meat, as well as any sort of finesse for seasoning or cooking. He could sometimes collect mushrooms or vegetables while he was out, but beyond that…he was much better at offering conversation while Jin worked. 

Beyond their designated tasks, Jin and Hoseok are able to do as they please, far more than omegas or alphas. Much of their work depends upon the other wolves bringing in meat or ingredients, so in the absence of that, they are allowed to help with classrooms, with searching for plants, or with other tasks as they desire. 

Namjoon will never have that privilege. 

He whines softly, and Hoseok’s arms tighten around him. 

“It will be alright, Joon. We’ll figure something out. Let’s just get you through the next day or two first, okay?” 

Namjoon wishes that he could turn his brain off like that. He usually doesn’t mind the constant stream of thoughts, words, phrases galloping through his mind. It’s useful, especially when it comes to his writing. He has all sorts of topics to explore, and having so many ideas makes it feel less like he’s writing the same poem over and over. He wishes he had more words most of the time. 

But right now? It would be nice not to think at all. He’s almost tempted to beg Hoseok for some sort of sleeping draught, anything to just be turned off for a handful of hours. He’s going to have a lifetime to confront the pain of being wrong inside; he just wants a few more hours not to feel it. 

Eventually, the betas succeed in getting him to drift off for a while. He wakes sweaty and aching, the stupid knot back to being hard and swollen. He wants to stuff it somewhere else, wants to chop it right off, but doesn’t think his instincts would actually allow such a thing. He hopes that neither of his friends have noticed. 

But of course they have. 

“Joon? Do you…do you need us to go for a while?” Seokjin asks him gently. Clearly he can smell the change in Namjoon’s scent, though he’s doing his best to keep the tone of his voice neutral. Namjoon’s whole body burns; with hormones, with arousal, with shame. 

He’s never felt arousal like this before. Rarely felt it at all, actually. He just…never felt one way or another about sex. He supposed it was something he would have to partake in eventually, once he was claimed, once he was expected to carry pups. But it wasn’t something he craved. He never noticed any of the other wolves in that way, never wanted to crawl into their beds or be filled by an alpha’s cock. 

He thought maybe it had something to do with not being presented, but he’s heard (and on a few unfortunate occasions, seen) plenty of unpresented wolves fucking. He’s had to change his forest exploration route several times after stumbling across a few packmates in the midst of sex so intense they didn’t even smell him nearby. 

Even now, though his body is insistent that he needs to come, needs to slide his knot into the nearest warm space, his mind isn’t exactly on the same page. He feels…he feels disconnected from his body. Almost like it belongs to someone else now. He isn’t proud of his knot; he’s horrified. He doesn’t want to come, can’t convince himself to put his hand around his cock, even though he knows it might make it hurt less. 

“No, you don’t have to go. I don’t…I’m not going to…” Namjoon trails off, not sure how to put it. 

“You can, Joon, it will probably help to break the fever. Your body wants the release,” Hoseok explains gently. But Namjoon just shakes his head. 

“I don’t…don’t wanna touch it,” he whispers. 

Seokjin and Hoseok look sadly at him, then at each other. 

“Would you be comfortable with one of us doing it?” Hoseok asks. Namjoon shakes his head again. That might be even more mortifying. He knows it wouldn’t be… sexual exactly, more like clinical, especially for Hoseok. But he doesn’t want anyone to see his stupid knot. He’ll just deal with the pain. 

So they spend the next day and a half together, Namjoon mostly curled into a sad ball on the bed and Hoseok and Seokjin trade off leaving to get supplies. They don’t seem to want to leave Namjoon alone, even when he’s sleeping. He can tell that they’re concerned, especially with his refusal to… take care of himself.  

He’s willing to eat, and drink. He even lets them swap out some of the sweaty sheets for freshly scented ones. But he won’t do what his biology is screaming at him to do. 

Maybe…maybe if he just pretends the knot isn’t there, it will go away. Maybe if he doesn’t consummate the presentation, he’ll revert back to being unpresented. He wouldn’t say he was happy that way, but it was better than this. Better than becoming an alpha. 

Namjoon is intelligent. He knows he’s not being logical. But he also knows that he can’t be blamed. Presenting is one of the most heightened experiences a wolf will have; the foggy thought processes are part of the territory. It’s why there are separate huts for presentations. No one wants a freshly presented omega to be begging for the pack leader to knot them, dripping slick all over his good furs. Likewise, no one wants baby alphas accosting omegas or starting up fights with their elders. It’s just the safest method. 

Most wolves are expected to go through their presentation alone. Namjoon is actually a little surprised that his friends have been allowed to stay with him. Maybe everyone is so shell-shocked over him being an alpha, they forgot to enforce such rules. Maybe they think that he’s going to be such a weak alpha, certainly there is nothing he could do to two betas. Maybe they didn’t even notice his absence at all; everyone none the wiser to his predicament, to the betas harboring in the presentation hut with a new alpha. 

Maybe I can just run away before they find out.  

Namjoon doesn’t know where the thought comes from. He’s never considered running away before. It wasn’t something that crossed his mind, wasn’t something that’s ever been a choice. His pack is the only one he’s ever known. He hasn’t even smelled another pack in his entire life. He doesn’t know where he’d go, or how he’d survive, or if he could even find another pack to take him in. And as much as he enjoys spending his time in the forest, in the quiet…he doesn’t want to be alone forever.  

But…well, what is his alternative? Living a life that he despises? Being forced to hunt, to patrol, to find an omega to breed? He doesn’t know which option is worse, and he certainly doesn’t have the brain power to think about it right now. 

When they all emerge from the hut two days later, Namjoon desperate to slink off to the river to bathe, his hopes for going unnoticed are demolished. It seems like half the pack is in the clearing nearby, either blatantly staring at him or pretending to do tasks that require them to be there, glancing none too subtly his way. 

“We tried to be discreet but…well, everyone was bound to notice the new alpha scent at some point. They all got curious. I’m sorry, Joon,” Seokjin says apologetically. It’s not his fault, though. There was nothing to be done. Namjoon’s brief ponderings on running away are quickly dashed; there’s no way the pack would just let him leave, especially when they always want alphas for patrol, to bring in more meat. 

His body wants him to growl at all the stares, something he has never done. Even when other pups talked him into play wrestling, he would always roll and offer his belly rather than grumble or show his teeth. The others quickly got bored with that sort of play fight and found better wrestling partners. Namjoon didn’t mind. 

He’s just a peaceful wolf. He doesn’t want to use his claws or his teeth to get his way, doesn’t want to rumble or scruff or tower over the others to show his dominance. He would much prefer to use his words, to communicate via paper and pen rather than scuffles and snarls. 

But…clearly something in his biology has changed, because he can hardly contain the frustrated growl trying to rumble from his throat. 

“Let’s go get you washed up,” Hoseok murmurs, his scent protective and calming. “Seokjin, can you grab some soap and furs to dry off quickly?” Seokjin nods and disappears into their small hut, emerging only a few moments later with the requested supplies. 

No one approaches them, not yet, but Namjoon is sure he’ll have to speak with the pack leader soon. There will be new assignments, new responsibilities for their new alpha. And with that, he’s sure there will be a lecture on alpha behavior too. A lecture he could live his entire life without hearing. 

Namjoon is tempted to shift, to run through the trees and the grasses, but he’s afraid that his wolf form will also feel different, wrong , and he wants to hold onto the memories of all the times it’s felt right for a while longer, just in case. 

So he and Hoseok and Seokjin all walk down to the river in silence. There isn’t anything to say, at least not yet. There aren’t any words that will change this, nor any that will truly comfort Namjoon. There is only loss and grief and confusion. 

They bathe together, though Namjoon turns away from the others, not wanting them to see him. He hopes this feeling doesn’t last forever, that he can adjust to…to having a knot, and feeling too large for his skin, and smelling so much more potent than he’s used to. He doesn’t know how he’ll cope with the feeling of his body no longer fitting him indefinitely. 

He lays back in the water, lets the river envelope him in silence and cold. Lets it wash away the sweat and stress and scent that has built up on his skin over the last two days. He wishes it could wash him away entirely. 

Instead, he feels Hoseok’s hands on him, pulling him above the surface. 

He goes, unwilling as he is. He allows Hoseok to massage his scalp, cleansing his short hair, rubbing the stress out of his neck and shoulders. Using his scent to calm Namjoon. 

They spend far longer in the water than they need to, though no one complains. It feels like a final reprieve, the last moments of quiet and calm before everything shifts. Maybe the last moments they’ll get to spend together for quite some time. It’s not considered especially proper for alphas to spend time alone with betas or omegas that they aren’t mated to, or that aren’t related to them. Namjoon isn’t sure why; maybe because there is concern for the alphas to coerce the other wolves into doing something they don’t want to? But that doesn’t make much sense either; everyone generally gives an alpha what they want. 

“Are you ready to go back?” Seokjin finally asks. They’re all a little cold, the breeze chilling their skin and the sun hidden behind the clouds. “We don’t have to go if you’re not.” 

But Namjoon sees how his friends are shivering; in their wolf forms, they’d probably have their ears pinned and tails lowered. He doesn’t want to cause them any more discomfort, especially after they’ve been caring for him over the last couple days. 

“I’m ready,” he says softly. Even though he’s not. Even though he’ll never be ready for this, hasn’t had nearly enough time to prepare or process. Even though his instincts are telling him to run run run.  

He offers his friends the furs they brought to dry off first, lingering for the last couple seconds in the water. Once he is dry and dressed, he has to walk back into the pack territory…as an alpha. 

Namjoon tries to take everything in as they walk back. He couldn’t say for sure, but it seems like the others are walking purposefully slowly, giving him as much time as they can buy. 

It’s still not enough. 

The moment they cross into the clearing, pack alpha beckons Namjoon to come to his den. 

Most of the wolves sleep in small huts or den-like structures, but a larger space is designated for pack alpha’s sleeping quarters. It is one of two small caves beside the clearing; the other is used for food stores. If it gets particularly cold, the pack alpha will bring young pups into the cave to be sure they stay warm, but mostly it is his den to share only with his mate and pups. 

Namjoon enters with his head bowed, nervously making eye contact with the dirt and furs on the ground. 

“Have a seat, Namjoon,” pack alpha says. 

Namjoon does, still keeping his eyes lowered. He feels even more sensitive to pack alpha now than he did before, as though he needs to make himself even smaller, even less threatening. Just because I’m an alpha now doesn’t mean I need any power, any notice , he wants to say. Let me be the way I was. It wasn’t enough, but it was better than anything else I can have.  

“So. You are an alpha now,” pack alpha says. It’s not a question, though there is an air of disbelief around the statement. “That is…not what we had anticipated, I’ll admit. We must discuss how to appropriately allocate duties to you, now that you have presented.” 

Namjoon nods somberly. He hopes it’s not something awful, though he knows the youngest alphas are often given the worst assignments. Everyone has to experience the more grueling tasks; building new huts, patrolling the furthest borders of the territory, carrying the kills made on hunts. Once new alphas present, these tasks can be passed to them, and the older alphas can move up to more desirable assignments; doing the hunting coordination and kills, closer patrols, selecting a mate and proceeding with courting. 

But to Namjoon, none of those things sound desirable. 

He liked his pseudo-omegan existence. He liked waking early enough to help in the classroom or to watch Seokjin preparing breakfast. He liked wandering in the woods and curling up beside the river to write and to dream. He liked being able to avoid any sort of courtship; not that anyone showed much interest in the strange, quiet wolf with his typewriter and his poems. 

“I think assigning you to patrols will be a good place to start. It will build your endurance to go to the edges of the territory, in preparation for learning to hunt. I would normally give you additional responsibilities, but because this is a…surprise, it seems best to start a little more slowly. You will begin tomorrow,” pack alpha instructs. 

It is probably the best Namjoon could hope for. He doesn’t look forward to being a hunter, not like the other alphas. They always arrive back at the camp reeking of blood and sinew and adrenaline, their muzzles spattered with the evidence of their violence. Sometimes they’ll continue their antics, too high on the rush of the kill to simply curl up and rest. They’ll wrestle with one another near the fire, nose at the omegas, nip at the scruffs of the pups. Always smelling like danger danger danger.  

Namjoon doesn’t know how to be dangerous, doesn’t know how to survive around wolves that like to use their teeth and claws for something other than reading aloud and carving letters into tree trunks. 

He doesn’t know how to survive being an alpha. 

He has to hope that the time he’ll spend patrolling on his own will be beneficial in some way, that maybe he’ll be able to clear his head and think about where to go from here. He knows that he has to give up on most of his dreams, but maybe he can hold on to some piece of himself, something that makes his identity his. Even if he can’t spend his days in the classroom, even if he can’t pass the hours by reading the small collection of books over and over…maybe he can still be a poet. 

Surely he’ll have a bit of time to himself. And if he does everything else that’s required of an alpha, if he protects the pack and helps the hunters and maybe…maybe even courts a mate, surely they’ll let him have this one thing. 

He doesn’t dare to ask, not now, not when everything is so fresh and new and muddled. But he will. He will find the courage to ask. He’ll allow himself this small particle of hope, because it’s the only thing he can imagine will help him survive. 

Namjoon is assigned to patrol with one or two other alphas the first couple of days, learning the routes and the areas he must check. Though he has never heard of any issues with their borders, never so much as glimpsed a wolf from outside their pack, it is the way of things to secure the territory, to ensure that they never do catch a whiff of intruders. 

Once he knows the route, has the curves of land that mark their territory memorized, Namjoon is left to patrol alone. It certainly says something about the level of concern pack alpha has about actual danger, letting just one baby alpha do the patrol. It’s as though he’s been given busy work, as though he’s a pup that needs to be distracted with a trinket. 

Namjoon can’t say he minds too much, though. The walk to the edge of their territory takes about a quarter of the day in wolf form. Sometimes, if he wants time to himself, he’ll run the border in wolf form, then retreat to his sunny spot on the rock by the river. He can’t bring his typewriter (actually, he’s left it tucked away by the shelf in the classroom hut, hoping that it won’t be taken from him if no one remembers he has it), but he does have several patches of dirt and leaves he likes to write on. He tries to tuck the leaves beneath the rock, or under tree roots, to protect them from the elements, but even so, many of them are blown away or soaked by rains once he manages to return. 

When there are words he feels particularly attached to, he’ll use his claws to carve them into the tree trunks or into fallen branches. 

He doubts that anyone else visits this spot; he’s never seen anyone here, hasn’t even told Seokjin or Hoseok about his place. He’s careful not to spend too long there, not to get entirely lost in his head when he visits. He doesn’t want pack alpha to question why his patrols sometimes take longer, doesn’t want to end up with another alpha assigned to scrutinize his behavior. He already gets enough of that from the rest of the pack. 

Ever since his presentation, he feels their eyes on him constantly. Hears the whispers about the omega-alpha , hears them saying that he must be confused, that they should check and see if he even has a knot, because they’ve never seen an alpha like that . Even Namjoon’s parents have put a purposeful distance between them over the last handful of months. His presentation and subsequent trail of disappointments corroded their already-fragile relationship, so he expected no less. He sees the looks of hesitation and bafflement when he goes on patrols; no one believes that he could protect them from anything more than an ant. 

And he knows some of their assumptions aren’t even wrong. He doesn’t think he has very strong protective instincts. He’s never been in a fight, hardly even participated in play fights as a pup. He uses his claws to write , for fuck’s sake. He doesn’t know how to use his teeth, doesn’t growl, doesn’t like the sight of blood. 

He feels lonely, more so in these months of being an alpha than ever before.  He was lonely before, too, but at least he had a bit more control over how he spent his days, how his life was going to pan out. He could still act like himself to a degree. 

But now, he has to be fierce and decisive and strong. And he doesn’t feel like any of those things. 

For that reason, it’s almost lucky that he spends most of the days alone. He doesn’t have to put on the facade of alpha when he’s walking the woods. He smells like an alpha, and that should be enough to spook anyone lurking in the trees. 

Not that there is ever anyone there. Not that anything Namjoon is doing matters. 

He feels time pass intensely and strangely. At once, it feels torturously slow, dragging by in sludgy seconds, but also with sharp speed despite the monotony. He feels that he’s been living the same day for years and years, but also that he only just presented days ago. 

After six moon cycles, he finally musters up the courage to touch his typewriter again. It has grown dusty, no one else showing the slightest interest while he’s been avoiding it. He aches for the stiff keys as he brushes them off. 

I’m sorry, he thinks. I didn’t want to abandon you . 

He finds that he doesn’t have any words to type, despite often feeling like he may burst for lack of outlets. There are many days that his brain swims with phrases and images, all the lines he wants to write down before they escape him. And sometimes he’s successful, reaching his spot in time to scrabble them into the dirt or onto a leaf. But other days, he loses the image he’s been trying so desperately to hold in his head. Or he’ll write down something he’s proud of, only to find it washed or blown away once he returns. 

That’s the biggest benefit of the typewriter. Not the neat lettering or the fancy machine itself, but the safety of the scripts it produces. He always knows that his poems will be secured beneath the furs in his little hut, that they won’t be stolen by rain or wind or time. 

He lets his fingers brush against the keys, feeling restless and bottled up. This isn’t how he normally feels when he types, but it’s been so long, maybe he’s forgotten how to find his rhythm. 

“Namjoon?” 

Sakura’s voice breaks into his thoughts, startling him. He didn’t expect anyone to come by, not so late in the evening. His heart beats frantically; he’s afraid to have his one important possession taken away after finally working up the courage to type again. 

“Ah, teacher, I was just…I just missed this, I wanted to…” he starts to explain, then trails off, staring down at the typewriter. 

“I wondered if you would come back for it, or if becoming an alpha would change how you felt about writing,” she says softly. He looks up at her, searching her face. Despite being an omega, she doesn’t seem to be on edge, alone at night with an unmated alpha. 

“It…it should have, I suppose. But it didn’t,” he admits quietly. He hasn’t said that aloud yet, not wanting to solidify the possibility of his dream being taken away permanently. He doesn’t think he could bear it yet. Maybe not ever. 

“It should have, yes. I don’t think that pack alpha will like you coming here,” she tells him, her eyes sad. 

“He doesn’t have to know,” Namjoon says, equally as soft. 

But he knows that isn’t true, knows that he can’t ask that of Sakura. He respects her too much to ask that. He wants to, wants to have a secret reprieve, wants to clandestinely convene with his typewriter every night. But it’s too big a risk. 

“He’ll know. We both know that he will,” she says. 

“So…so what does that mean?” Namjoon asks, a hint of desperation leaking into his voice. Will he have the typewriter confiscated? Broken? Or just left to gather dust in the classroom? Maybe a real omega will be allowed to have it. But he doesn’t know of any in the pack that would be even remotely interested. As evidenced by it gathering dust in a corner all these months without him. 

“Well…you can just leave it. I won’t get rid of it, but I won’t be able to let you sneak in to use it either. Or…” she looks at him anxiously. “Or, you could ask him.” 

Namjoon almost shudders at the thought of either suggestion. His heart breaks thinking of the typewriter sitting unused when it’s meant to be filled with words and poetry. But his heart cowers at the thought of asking pack alpha to allow him this. 

No one has ever made such a request, he’s sure of that. After all, it seems no alpha has ever wanted to be a poet. 

“Why am I like this?” he asks miserably. 

She doesn’t have an answer for him. No one ever does. 

Namjoon contemplates his options for weeks. He doesn’t return to his typewriter, too afraid that if he does without having asked permission, something terrible will happen to it. To him. He’s sure that his teacher assumes he’s chosen the first option, to just let the typewriter rust and decay, to let it meet the same fate as his poems, as his mind. 

But he has to try the second option. Even if it makes him nauseous to consider, even if he wants to dig his claws into his palms at the thought of getting on his knees and begging for this one thing to remain his. 

He has to do it. He has to ask pack alpha to let him keep his words. Even if it’s not alpha behavior, even if it makes him an outlier, even if everyone ostracizes him for it. It doesn’t matter; they treat him that way regardless. So having his poems to comfort him seems like the best possible outcome. 

Namjoon catalogs all his best words, writes and rewrites his little speech in his head for days. On his patrols, he hardly glances around him, too focused on the thoughts swimming through his mind. When he visits his rock, he doesn’t write poems, but persuasions. He doesn’t gaze up at the clouds or wonder over the miracle of waterbugs; he constructs counter-arguments to the anticipated responses pack alpha might give him. He envisions success; he envisions failure. He considers bringing forth some of his collection and wonders if offering to write courting messages for other alphas would be useful. He hopes that his dream will be seen as trivial enough to grant. 

Even though to Namjoon, it is anything but trivial. 

No amount of time seems enough to prepare. He worries that he hasn’t found the right phrasing, the right arguments. He worries that if he waits too long, he’ll lose the chance entirely. He worries about every possible outcome. 

When he finally does go to pack alpha, he keeps his head low, doing his best not to smell distressed or anxious, even though he’s sure it’s futile. He has a hard time controlling the strength of his scent, especially since it only became more potent when he presented. He doesn’t really know how to change it, how to at least conceal the underlying emotions in it. He considers asking the betas, since they seem to be masters at this particular practice, but it feels…embarrassing. Like he’s just a pup that doesn’t know how to use his limbs quite yet. He just…doesn’t seem to have that mental connection with his scent glands. 

“You had something you wished to discuss?” pack alpha prompts him when Namjoon has settled in his den. Namjoon has to resist the urge to lower himself further, to bow, to kneel, to press his head to the ground. His mind tells him that he must appear non-threatening, small, unobtrusive, while his instincts protest the behavior. 

“Yes, pack alpha. I wished to bring up…my typewriter. It is currently stored in the schoolroom, but as the teacher pointed out, it might be…it might appear improper for me to spend time there, all things considered. So I was hoping…perhaps I could move it into my space?”

Pack alpha assesses him, no emotion on his face. Namjoon tries not to keep babbling, tries to patiently wait for an answer. He doesn’t want to anger pack alpha, not at this important moment. 

“What use do you have for it now? I doubt there is much time for your…activities, considering the patrols and needs of the pack,” pack alpha questions. 

“Of course, I would not take time away from my duties. I just hoped…that perhaps, when I had a moment or two, I could continue my writing,” Namjoon finishes with a whisper. 

Pack alpha sighs. “Namjoon, I know that presenting as an alpha is not what you anticipated. But it is a good thing; our pack can always use a strong alpha. And I just don’t see what good it will do for you to continue writing these…stories, when you could be selecting a mate or helping the pack.” 

Namjoon tries not to panic, forces his worries down and remembers the logic that he had practiced all these weeks. “I understand. But do you not think that perhaps I could assist with courting? I could write poems for the omegas, help establish pairs…” But pack alpha is already shaking his head. 

“Namjoon…alphas are not poets.” 

Namjoon doesn’t hear much of what pack alpha says after that. His mind is just filled with a refrain of alphas are not poets. Alphas are not poets. Alphas are not poets…

That means Namjoon is not a poet. 

But he doesn’t feel like an alpha either. So what is he supposed to be? 

“You are dismissed, Namjoon.” 

Namjoon doesn’t even raise his head; he’s sure pack alpha has probably already tried to get him to leave several times, based on the tone of voice. He drags himself to the healing hut, grateful to see that it’s just Hoseok there today. 

“Namjoonie? What’s wrong?” Hoseok asks, startled from his organizing of herbs. He carefully sets down the plant he was holding to kneel before Namjoon, who still hasn’t spoken. He just curls into the corner of the hut, breathing in the mixture of scents, trying to find comfort in any of them. 

Hoseok, noticing Namjoon’s deep inhales, presses their wrists together, trying to soothe him with his scent. He rubs in gentle, firm lines, and Namjoon tries to focus on the sandalwood aroma.  “What happened? Did something go wrong on patrol? Are you hurt?” Hoseok starts running his hands along Namjoon, looking for the source of the pain. 

Namjoon doesn’t know how to tell Hoseok that it’s just him . He is the source of all his hurt. If he just accepted that he’s an alpha now, if he stopped trying to change the way of things, if he could just behave the way he’s supposed to…it wouldn’t hurt so much. 

Finding no injuries, Hoseok tilts Namjoon’s head up, meeting his gaze. It’s then that they both realize Namjoon is crying. 

“Oh, Joon. Why are you crying?” Hoseok asks softly. He tries his best to tuck Namjoon against his chest, though it’s a little comical, considering their size difference. 

“Alphas…aren’t poets,” Namjoon mumbles into Hoseok’s shirt. 

“What?” Hoseok asks him. Namjoon doesn’t know if he just didn’t hear him, or if he doesn’t understand the statement. 

“Alphas aren’t poets. That’s what pack alpha told me, when I asked if I could keep my typewriter,” he manages, before the tears get worse. 

Hoseok hums sadly. “I can’t say I’m surprised. But why does he care if you keep it? Did you explain you would still do all of your duties, that it would just be for if you had extra time?”

Namjoon nods. “But…”

“But alphas aren’t poets. Got it,” Hoseok sighs. “I’m sorry, Joonie. I hoped that maybe he’d go the opposite way and just not care. Maybe we can sneak it off somewhere? I’m sure he’s not going to be thinking about it often, so if you just kept it in the den…”

Namjoon shakes his head. He’s terrified of the repercussions if he gets caught hiding the typewriter, directly disobeying pack alpha. Plus, the typewriter needs ink and parchment, and while he can ration those supplies, they won’t last forever. And it’s not exactly a quiet machine; he’d be caught for certain. He hates to imagine the fate that would await the beautiful machine in that scenario; it would likely be smashed to pieces or tossed off a cliff. He can’t bear it. He’d rather it gather dust if those are the only options. 

“If…if a beta, or an omega wants it…I don’t want it to go to waste,” he whispers. Hoseok gazes at him with big, sad eyes. They both know there’s not a single other wolf in the pack with an iota of interest in writing, especially not with some fancy machine. But neither of them says it. 

“You can still write, though. You did it before the typewriter, on the leaves and in the dirt and on bark. You don’t have to give it up,” Hoseok tries encouragingly. 

Namjoon doesn’t know. He wasn’t expressly forbidden from writing, he supposes. But there aren’t many places to hide his work, and if anyone came across it…well, it would be obvious what he had been up to. He isn’t supposed to spend his time on writing. 

He and Hoseok sit quietly curled on the floor of the hut for several minutes, maybe longer. Namjoon loses himself inside his head, as he is wont to do, but this time it’s not in the meandering lines of poems and the winding images that burst into his mind. It’s just in a cavern of hopeless, endless darkness.

Chapter Text

Jimin was never made for traditional pack life. 

He was always comfortable with being a leader, getting the other pups to come together for games or figuring out how to keep their dens warmer at night in winter. He was first to jump in for a puppy pile, first to explore beyond the boundary of their little camp, first to try to sneak onto a hunting expedition. He always wanted to voice his opinion, especially if he didn’t agree with the majority. 

He wasn’t the biggest wolf, but he loved to swim and run and climb, so he was one of the most athletically gifted. He could confidently navigate the woods on his own by the time he was twelve, though he technically wasn’t supposed to be off wandering without an older wolf. He loved to adventure on his own, though, and older wolves made things less fun. 

Sometimes he’d convince his best friends, Taehyung and Yoongi, to come exploring with him. It was usually more fun to have them along. Taehyung was always ready to splash and have a water fight while Yoongi lounged in the shade, watching over them. Taehyung easily went along with whatever game Jimin dreamt up and Yoongi easily fell into the role of referee. Many days, they’d shake off from the river and discover that Yoongi had found some tasty berries for them to share. He’d nose them over, making sure the younger two got plenty to eat. 

Jimin also loved to learn, devouring any books the pack could get. There weren’t many, though sometimes a kind alpha would be willing to bring a few back after supply runs to nearby villages. Jimin always tried to be first in line to read, but Taehyung would occasionally snatch one up before him just to tease Jimin with possible spoilers. 

As was the way of things, each year there was much speculation on who would present as which subgender. The pack was on the larger side, perhaps seventy-five members, so new presentations happened somewhat regularly. The smaller wolves were usually considered obvious omegas, though now and then this proved to be incorrect. The wolves who were rowdier in play-fights and confidently asserted their opinions were certain to be alphas. Wolves that fell into the gray area in between were most likely to be betas. 

So it seemed obvious that Jimin would be an alpha, Yoongi a beta, and Taehyung an omega.

Instead, Yoongi presented as an alpha and Jimin as a beta. Taehyung was the only one to fall into his expected subgender. 

There were many rumblings in the pack after that, especially about Jimin. 

It’s too bad, he would have been a great pack alpha.

I wonder if that omega friend of his will still want to mate with him. 

He would have been my pick for mating, but a beta? That won’t do much good in pack politics. Makes him less valuable. 

I bet he still tries to become pack leader. No way is that gonna fly; delicate little beta would get his throat ripped out if he challenged an alpha. 

He hears all of them. And he wants to argue, has been arguing about the bias against subgenders within the pack for as long as he can remember. But he’s fighting a losing battle; most of the wolves benefit in some antiquated way or another from the traditions, so they don’t want to make any changes. They think that change will cause an avalanche, that anarchy will certainly break out if there are leaders who aren’t alphas, if omegas dare to dream beyond bearing babies, if betas have a single iota of power. 

Jimin wants to change things, but when it’s one wolf against seventy, it feels nearly impossible. 

He does try to become pack leader once, despite being only twenty-two, despite being a beta, despite knowing that no one in the pack will support it. 

“There’s a reason it’s called being pack alpha , Jimin,” the pack alpha tells him, paw pressed to his throat. “If I were a less forgiving wolf, I would teach you that lesson in a more painful manner. As it stands, you need to drop it. Or I won’t hesitate next time.” 

So Jimin leaves. And he takes Yoongi and Taehyung with him. 

It’s not easy, learning how to be a pack of three, when they’re used to living in a pack so much bigger. They have to do everything themselves, from hunting to finding a place to sleep to medicine when they get sick. 

They each find their roles easily enough, though. Jimin falls into the lead, as he was meant to do. He runs and runs until he finds a territory that seems safe, that they could grow into and improve upon over time. He patrols the perimeter over and over, sniffing for any trace of other wolves. The closest pack seems to be miles away, and there’s only one. He watches from afar, sees the area they patrol, and figures out his own borders accordingly. 

They all hunt, though Jimin and Yoongi are the primary pair. Taehyung enjoys it less, doesn’t like the gore of it all. He’s happy instead to help keep their den comfortable, to look for plants and berries and herbs they can use. He likes to look after them all, to cuddle the others close and nose his scent into their skin after a long day. Yoongi grumbles about it more than necessary, which only makes Jimin believe he likes it. 

Yoongi is a quiet caretaker, always on the lookout for ways to make them all more comfortable, items that could be useful, needs that aren’t being fulfilled. He knows when the best time to bathe is, loves to help groom his packmates when he’s feeling sleepy and trying to get them to settle. He seems to have a knack for finding the best resources, always has a sense of when the right time to hunt or gather supplies will be. 

Though it takes time, they find their rhythm as a small pack. The territory has good bones, several clearings clustered together with space to build cabins and a few caves for storage and warmth. Jimin thinks about what it would be like to add more wolves, if they will ever grow, or if it was meant to be just the three of them forever. 

He gets his answer when they find Jungkook. 

The three of them are out by the river to bathe. It’s a sunny day, the water is warm from the beaming rays, and Jimin and Taehyung are splashing around just as they did when they were pups. Yoongi carried one of their furs down to rest on, and he’s cleaning his paws and ears with languid licks. They spend a lot of time in their wolf forms, especially when they aren’t in the den. It just feels safer. They don’t have to worry so much about not hearing an intruder sneaking up on them, or about anything sharp cutting their more delicate human feet. 

All of their splashing in the water must hide the sounds of someone else in the trees just beyond the river clearing. 

It’s Yoongi who notices first; his ears pricking up and head swiveling, looking for the source of the disturbance in the air. A growl rumbles in his chest, and the others immediately freeze their play session. After a few moments, they seem to smell it too, quickly moving to flank Yoongi where he has stood up, gazing at the trees. 

It’s hard to see, but there is a wolf there. They can all smell him, smell the distress and fear coming in increasingly strong waves. Yoongi’s growl subsides, but his fur remains raised, his body tense. 

Jimin tilts his head, watchful. He doesn’t sense danger. Though the moments directly after he realized there was someone there were a bit jarring…he thinks that a wolf with poor intentions would have done more to conceal their scent, approached with more stealth. 

This wolf…he seems to have no control over his scent. It’s difficult to say what it might be when he’s happy, but in his current state, waves of wilted flowers float over the clearing. His black fur is matted in places, appearing unwashed and scruffy. He looks underweight and so, so young. Perhaps only a year or two past presentation, if Jimin had to guess. 

Slowly, Jimin steps forward and shakes off. It’s necessary to remove the remaining water from his coat, but it’s also meant as an appeasing gesture. We won’t harm you. You can come closer. 

The black wolf slinks out of the underbrush, and Jimin notices that his foreleg is injured. He’s doing his best to conceal it, but he clearly can’t bear his full weight on the limb. His ears remain back, eyes darting between the three wolves in front of him. 

Hello, Jimin offers in a neutral tone. Are you lost? 

No. 

The black wolf doesn’t elaborate, just glances at the water beyond Jimin and Yoongi. Taehyung remains partially in the river, though he is just as still as the others. 

If you need water, we won’t stop you, Jimin tells him. He flicks his snout at Taehyung, and they both move out of the black wolf’s path. Yoongi is a bit slower to retreat, keeping his eyes on the wolf as he moves to join his pack. 

The wolf seems torn, but it’s obvious that he needs to drink. He slinks forward, tail tense, muscles ready to spring away from danger at any moment. Jimin sits with his tail curled around his paws, watching. Now that he’s closer, he can see that the wolf is clearly malnourished, his ribs nearly visible through his patchy fur. He’s not groomed, bits of mud and sticks caught in his tail and his haunches. And his scent…it’s truly distressing. Jimin can imagine it being soft and soothing, but in this state, it’s nearly painful to breathe. 

The wolf drinks desperately, as though it’s been days since he last found water. It may well be so, based on his condition. He’s too young to be out all alone; he should have a pack, or at least packmates with him. He must be far from home, considering the fact that Jimin carefully scouted their location and never saw signs of another pack for miles. 

What’s your name? Jimin asks when the wolf finally pauses for air. He’s greeted with suspicious eyes and silence. My name is Jimin, and this is Taehyung and Yoongi. We don’t wish you harm. This is our pack land, but we are peaceful. Will you tell me your name? 

The wolf continues to eye him sideways, but his ears flick forward a bit, the tension in his body and tail lessening slightly. Jungkook. 

Is your pack near? We don’t often see wolves from outside our own pack. 

Don’t have a pack. 

Jimin tilts his head at this. No pack? That’s…uncommon. Certainly, some wolves break off from their packs, as he did, but usually with the goal of forming their own smaller pack. Lone wolves are not just uncommon…they’re nearly unheard of, and generally only in cases of exile. And this wolf is so young…Jimin can’t imagine what he might have done to earn such a fate. 

Did something happen to your pack? Is there danger near? Yoongi asks, ears flicking up and tail swishing. 

No. 

You’ll have to give us more than that, pup. We want to help, but we can’t do that if you won’t talk to us, Jimin coaxes. 

They didn’t want me. 

Didn’t want him? What sort of answer is that? Packs aren’t supposed to work that way; they’re families. They’re supposed to weave together, to create stronger units by allowing each member to focus on their strengths and filling in for one another’s weaknesses. They aren’t supposed to exile newly presented pups just…just because they don’t want them.  

So you’ve been all alone? You’re just a pup, Jimin says with a hint of a growl. Jungkook both shrinks back at the tone and fluffs up his fur a bit at the comment. 

I’m not a pup, I’m 21. 

Barely presented, then, and either way, wolves are meant to live together. We need each other, Taehyung speaks for the first time. 

Not wolves like me. 

Jimin doesn’t know what that means, exactly, to Jungkook, but it’s a sentiment he’s felt all too often. Wolves like me don’t belong. Betas can’t be leaders.Too many ambitions. Too strong. Too opinionated. Too much. And he hates it. Hates that it’s the way he’s been made to think, hates that it’s affected him and his little pack. Hates that it’s affected this bedraggled young wolf, to the point that he’s dehydrated and starving, hardly presented, hardly an adult, and already dying from these expectations. 

Well, lucky for you, we are all a bit different too. If you want, we can show you around our pack land. If you like it, perhaps you’ll stay. 

Jimin knows it’s a bold offer, knows that it could shift the trajectory of their little lives, freshly made as they are. Perhaps he should have discussed it with Yoongi and Taehyung before speaking, but he knows deep down they would have come to the same conclusion.They all know what it’s like to not fit into a pack, how easily they could have been this wolf. There is no reality in which they’d leave him behind.

As it happens, letting that little black wolf follow them into the woods does change the trajectory of their pack, though not in the ways Jimin might have predicted. Certainly, it is an adjustment, becoming four instead of three, learning to hunt and sleep and communicate together. There are a thousand little ways that Jungkook changes them, even in those early days when he hardly says a word.

But the way he changes the pack the most is making them a place for the lost wolves to call home. 

Jimin doesn’t know how, exactly, wolves begin to find them over the next few years. They are still quite small, still very secluded in their territory, but now and then a new wolf will appear near the river. Always near the river. Some are worn down in the same ways Jungkook was; fur dirtied, ribs too visible, skittish and wary. Others are older, but worn in other ways; their minds filled with ideas that they don’t belong, that something about them caused their exile, their mistreatment by a pack. Still more are pairs or trios, rejected for loving the wrong subgender, for not wanting to bear pups, for being unable to bear pups. 

Jimin welcomes all wolves the water brings him. 

It feels nearly symbolic to him, bringing him more certainty than ever: the traditional pack system is broken. And he is destined to lead a pack that heals. 

Perhaps half a decade later, when Jimin starts to see the gray wolf at the river, he expects things to go as they always have. A skittish first encounter, maybe some mild resistance, and then they’ll welcome a beautiful new alpha to their pack. 

But for the first time, the new wolf doesn’t come to him. He doesn’t even seem to perceive Jimin, and after an hour or so, he disappears back into the woods where he came from. 

Jimin worries about him, wonders if he should have followed the wolf, but…his instincts told him to remain cautious this time. The wolf will come back. He knows it. And unlike many of the other wolves, this one doesn’t appear to have been wandering alone. His fur is tidy, his ribs aren’t visible, he isn’t desperate to drink from the river. He isn’t on high alert the way others have been either; he doesn’t even acknowledge Jimin’s existence. 

Jimin has often wished his fur weren’t white; it’s one of the hardest colors to camouflage in the woods, especially during the warmer seasons. So he knows that he’s likely visible to the gray wolf, even if they don’t speak. Even if Jimin is just sitting on the rocks by the water, or at the edge of the clearing, his fur stands out. 

In other circumstances, Jimin might have just spoken to the wolf. But for now, something tells him that would break some sort of spell, would pull them further apart rather than encouraging the wolf to engage with him. 

So Jimin waits. 

He sees the wolf many times, and each time he appears to be in his own world. Jimin has noticed him gazing up at the clouds for so long he worries the sun might damage his eyes. Noticed him crouching in the grasses to watch insects making their way towards their tunnels and caves. Noticed him drawing with a single gentle claw in the dirt, or more rarely, in the trunks of trees and branches that have fallen to the ground. 

When Jimin goes to inspect the trees, he is amazed to find not drawings, but words. The wolf has been writing poems.  

Jimin only knows they are poems because the alphas in his familial pack once brought a book of them back to the pack. Taehyung got to it first, but he was immediately disinterested in the sporadic bursts of words, the complex nature of the verses and lines, the lack of an obvious storyline. 

“You can keep that one, Minnie, it’s boring,” he remembers Taehyung saying. 

Of course, determined and stubborn as he was, Jimin read the collection cover to cover. It was difficult at first to adjust from the stories and novels he’d always read before. He stumbled upon many lines he didn’t understand and had to go back and reread most of the pieces. But that became part of the joy in the poems; he was often able to uncover something new when he opened the book, and he had to truly focus on the words. Even when he didn’t necessarily understand the meaning, he could understand the sentiment. He could understand that these words were beautiful, and they made him feel.  

He never received any other poetry collections, but the book was one of the few things Jimin brought with them when they left. He’s wished for more poems to dissect, for another opportunity to read words that are so carefully constructed, but it hasn’t been something he could prioritize over the last few years. It’s hard work to build a pack from the bottom up; he is exhausted most nights even though it’s been years. There is always a new need, a new project to organize. And he loves being at the helm, he does, but…he wishes for a few quiet moments, a few hours for his heart to beat faster at the words on a page. 

Or in this case, the words carved into fallen tree trunks and the smooth edges of a boulder. 

dandelions pirouette across the field

gray, like me, but i cannot dance.

take root between the wildflowers, germinate 

hope: perhaps plain beasts such as us can belong.

bloom glorious & defiant, bursts of gold in a sea

of petals far more ancient, far less naive. 

for to be vibrant in the midst of monotony, to resist 

conformity is equivalent to spite,

is to be torn from the ground, is to be 

chewed into compliance

is to be spit into the wind and then

become gray again. 

Jimin reads this particular poem over and over again. He wishes he could pick up the tree trunk and carry it back to the den so he could always have it near. He wishes he were better at memorization, so he could at least hold the poem in his mind. What if something happens to this tree? What if a beetle scratches at the script? What if the rain damages the wood and the words fade away? He doesn’t want to lose something so beautiful. 

He wonders why the wolf leaves his words here, so far from wherever he must live. He doesn’t come daily, and sometimes Jimin will go weeks without seeing him. He must have a den, probably even a pack. Can he not write his poems there? Jimin doesn’t really recall poems being a point of contention within his familial pack, but then again, he was the only one interested in them. And he certainly didn’t have this talent for writing them. 

But how could anyone want to withhold this from him? Jimin wonders. He’s incredible. 

Once he’s read all the poems left behind, he aches for more. He begins visiting the river more and more often, hoping to catch a glimpse of the wolf with the talent for words. He’s not sure if he’s just lucky, or if perhaps he’s just caught onto the trend of the wolf’s timing, but after a few months, he seems to see him more often than not. 

Jimin stays a respectable distance from the wolf, letting him determine when they’ll finally speak. Sometimes, the wolf will gaze at Jimin, watching him back, but he still doesn’t say a word. He’s even more impressively silent than Jungkook was in the beginning. Jimin wishes desperately to talk to him. He wants to put a voice to the speaker in the poems, wants to imagine the gray wolf reading them aloud as they were meant to be heard. He wonders what thoughts are running through the wolf’s majestic brain when he looks up at the sky, when he curls up in the sun, when he closes his eyes at the sound of birdsong. 

He supposes that the wolf does speak through his poems, though Jimin doesn’t think he can parse out exactly what he’s saying. They all seem to have a sense of longing, of feeling lost. That makes sense, considering all the wolves that find Jimin’s pack have felt similarly. But what Jimin doesn’t understand is why the gray wolf keeps walking away from here . He’s made it so close to a new family, a new pack, a new life. All he needs to do is take a few more steps forward, and Jimin is ready to welcome him home. 

Jimin isn’t sure how long he’s been watching the gray wolf, conducting silent meetings by the river, when he finally speaks. Perhaps ten moon cycles? An entire year? He wishes he’d noted the day he first saw him so he could say exactly, so he could tell future pack members, “You think you were slow to warm up? This one wouldn’t talk to me for an entire year!” 

He almost wants to laugh when he realizes what the roadblock may have been, wants to whack himself with a hefty paw for his stupidity. 

What would my life be like, if I were you?

The gray wolf speaks so softly, so contemplatively, Jimin nearly misses it. He’s been laying in a sunny spot, the light breeze ruffling his fur in such a pleasing way he’d nearly been lulled to sleep. The gray wolf had been doing much the same on his favorite rock, but when Jimin looks back at him, the gray wolf finally meets his gaze. 

Would you like to find out? 

The gray wolf sits up so fast, Jimin is worried he’s going to bolt away, never to return. Did he say something wrong? Was his tone not gentle enough? How could he have frightened him with only a handful of words? 

Please, don’t go. I won’t harm you, he tries to reassure the gray wolf. It’s just…I’ve always hoped you’d speak to me eventually. 

The gray wolf remains where he is, though his posture doesn’t change. And Jimin can smell his distress on the breeze, his musky scent going burnt and dark. It makes his beta want to soothe, but he doesn’t know if that would be welcomed. Probably not, considering how long it took for the wolf to say a word to him. 

You…you’re real? the gray wolf finally replies. 

Of course, I’ve been here all these months, you’ve seen me many times, Jimin replies. The gray wolf thought he was…what, a ghost? An apparition? A figment of his imagination? Perhaps in some ways that is flattering, but right now, Jimin just wishes he’d known that was the case. 

I thought I had conjured you from my dreams. I come here to…well, to imagine a different life. One that’s less gray, less constrained. One where I’m more like you. 

Oh. Jimin sees what sort of hurt this wolf carries now more clearly. He must be from one of the packs that follows traditions and makes wolves that don’t fit within those parameters feel less than. He’s not sure what exactly makes this wolf fall outside those boundaries, but he suspects it has something to do with poems and daydreams. 

I see. I’m flattered that you find me dreamlike, Jimin tries to joke. But I can assure you, I am real. My name is Jimin, I’m the pack leader of the Heartleaf pack. We take in many wolves like you, the ones who wander, the ones who are adrift. I’ve been hoping you’d speak to me for a long time. What’s your name? 

Pack leader? I didn’t know there was a pack other than mine near here, this is the edge of our territory. I’m supposed to patrol, they’ll be angry if they find I’ve let another pack’s existence slide…they might reassign me, might put me in the hunting patrol…

Jimin can sense that the alpha is spiraling into a panic, so he tries to backpedal a bit. We aren’t so near, if this is the edge of your territory. Our dens are perhaps ten minutes away in wolf form. 

How could I have missed other wolves? How could I have failed my pack again? I am a bad alpha, not really an alpha at all…

Hey. Can you tell me your name, at least? Jimin tries again. 

The gray wolf gazes at him miserably. Namjoon. 

Okay, Namjoon. It sounds like you’ve been doing a great job, checking the far borders all on your own. Not many of us come here, like I said. It’s not the closest water source. You haven’t failed. 

Namjoon doesn’t reply to him right away. He still looks and smells distressed, his ears flat and tail twitching anxiously. His scent comes in waves, like he can’t control it at all. Jimin has noticed that some days his scent is stronger than others, usually when he seems more stressed. Most wolves, alphas especially, learn to regulate their scents in the months after presenting. But Namjoon seems to struggle with it. 

Would you mind if I moved a bit closer? Jimin asks. 

Namjoon shakes his head minutely, so Jimin walks slowly nearer. He sits with his tail wrapped around his paws a few yards away from Namjoon, allowing him space but putting them in a more conversational position. Ever so delicately, Jimin lets a bit of his calming scent through, hoping Namjoon isn’t offended by the effort. It does seem to help; Namjoon’s tail slows and a bit of the tension leaves his body. 

You…you’re a beta? Namjoon asks. 

Yes. I’m sorry if that was too forward, I just wanted to help you calm down. 

I…usually my friends are the only ones that use their pheromones to help me. I mostly just have to…figure it out. 

That breaks Jimin’s heart. Betas are designed to help their packmates regulate their emotions; it’s one of the most deeply rooted instincts for their subgender. For a beta, or any packmate, to ignore a pack member in distress, to purposely rescind their scents and pheromones…it’s an act of immense cruelty. It would certainly harm any wolf as a single instance, but as an ongoing behavior? He’s amazed that Namjoon is as whole as he seems. 

I’m sorry to hear that your pack has treated you that way. My pack would not treat you with such disrespect, Jimin tells him solemnly. 

When you say your pack…you really are the leader? Even though you aren’t an alpha? 

Jimin nods. This is something that most of his wolves wonder at first; they’ve never encountered a pack without a pack alpha. Maybe there’s been a brief interim leader, but never a permanent pack leader of any other subgender. The response varies initially, but he thinks all of them have grown to love the idea that anyone can lead. 

We are not traditional, to say the least. And we welcome all wolves that come to me here at the water. That’s why I’ve been waiting here, hoping you’d be ready to speak to me. 

Namjoon tilts his head. But…but I didn’t come looking for a new pack. I can’t leave my pack; that’s not how things work. 

Why not? 

It just…wolves are meant to live with their packs forever. Or…or they’ll die. 

But you would still have a pack. One that values you and treats you with kindness. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I don’t get the feeling that your pack is that way. 

Namjoon looks at him silently, and Jimin worries once again that he’s pushed too hard. Namjoon is at least his age if not older, so he has twenty some years of learning the ways of his pack and nothing else. Jimin can’t blame him for being apprehensive. 

I have friends there. I can’t just leave. And what if they come to find me? What if they hurt your pack? What if they hurt my friends? I’m already a bad alpha, I can’t bring more shame to my pack. 

Jimin recognizes that he probably won’t win this wolf over in one conversation. Namjoon is right; he didn’t come upon the river in the same way as the other wolves. He hasn’t been exiled, hasn’t been formally rejected from his pack. He may live on the outskirts, may be neglected in all the ways that are important to a wolf, but he still feels those instinctual ties to his pack. 

You don’t have to just leave. But know that the offer is there. I would happily welcome you and your friends, too. How many are there? Jimin asks, hoping that the topic of Namjoon’s friends will help calm him again. 

Just…just two. Seokjin and Hoseok, both betas. 

Jimin wonders how large Namjoon’s pack is. He wonders how painfully obvious it is that he only has two friends in a group that should all be family. What are they like? 

Namjoon tells him about the two betas. Hoseok, one of the pack healers, who has always allowed Namjoon refuge in the healing tent. He taught Namjoon about herbs and plants, gave him opportunities to go out into the forest and look for ingredients, something that helped to calm his mind. And Seokjin, one of the best cooks in their pack, talented at making the winter stores last through the colder months and turning plain ingredients into something delicious. He too lets Namjoon help with the meals and the preparation when he needs a place to retreat. 

They sound lovely, Jimin tells him honestly. 

They are. They…they’re the only way I make it through, sometimes. They’ll wonder where I am if I don’t go soon. 

Jimin hates that Namjoon is going back to that pack. Even if this is their first conversation, he feels so connected to the gray wolf he’s been watching for all these months. He doesn’t want to let him go, but he knows he has to. 

When will you be back? 

I’m not sure. Maybe a few days? A week? 

Jimin nods. I’ll be here. And Namjoon? I, um…if you don’t want your pack to know about me. Perhaps you should rinse off in the river. To make sure my scent doesn’t linger. 

Namjoon looks a little put out at the suggestion, but he agrees. Okay. Only…only because of that, though. It’s a nice scent. Like…lotus?

Water lilies, Jimin corrects. But close. 

He does his very best not to preen at the compliment. Sometimes floral scents are less appealing than the fresher or sweeter ones, especially because they can go damp and rotten so easily with stress. He’s pleased that Namjoon finds it nice. 

Jimin steps back again as Namjoon goes to the water and unceremoniously dunks himself below the surface. His gray fur looks nearly silver with the water droplets tumbling off of him. Jimin wonders why his poems make the color seem so…bleak. He thinks it’s beautiful. 

Travel safely, Namjoon. 

Namjoon merely nods and disappears into the woods. 

The next time Jimin sees him is perhaps a week later. He comes to the river every day, hoping Namjoon will be back, not wanting to miss him. He finds ways to bring his duties to the river, offering to assist with plant collection for the medical hut, keeping an eye out for fish that he can catch and bring back. He anxiously rushes through his other tasks that take him away from the water, worrying that Namjoon will come when Jimin is away. He doesn’t want the gray wolf to think that he’s made any empty promises. 

Namjoon is already curled up on his favorite rock when Jimin arrives. He’s watching…something in the grasses, tail flicking with interest, ears tilted forward as though listening to the tiniest orchestra. 

Not wanting to startle him, Jimin pads purposefully through the underbrush so Namjoon will hear him. His head snaps up, but he relaxes when he realizes it’s just Jimin. 

Hi, Namjoon. What are you doing? 

I was watching the ants building their anthill. It’s amazing. Can you imagine how much effort it takes for a creature so small to build something so large? 

Jimin gazes down at the dirt, where there is indeed a parade of ants burrowing into the ground, a small mound forming behind them. There is no discernable progress in the moments he watches, most of the work likely happening below ground, but it’s sweet to see Namjoon so fascinated. 

How has your patrol been today? Jimin asks.

Uneventful, like it always is. Sometimes I see beautiful things, though. Like the ants, or the birds flying in formation. So it is not so terrible. Does your pack have patrols?

Yes, though we usually go in groups. It helps to have more than one set of eyes, and protection if we need it. Usually, it is quite peaceful here. 

It is the same for us. I have rarely heard of wolves from other packs. Has your pack always lived here?

Jimin shakes his head. No. I left my familial pack years ago, and this one…it has grown in the time in between. We are a chosen pack. 

Namjoon looks confused at that, his forehead crinkling in a most adorable way, head tilting, ears pivoting. Did it not hurt you to leave your familial pack? And all the other wolves? Were they not…damaged? 

Not in the way you mean, I don’t think. It was not easy. There were growing pains, but it did not harm our wolves, our spirits. It only allowed us to flourish, to grow stronger in the ways we were meant to, but could not within the constraints of tradition. 

Namjoon grows quiet with that response, and Jimin watches him considering the words. He knows that there is a lot to think about when it comes to leaving a pack, especially as a grown wolf. He knows all too well the ideologies and barriers imposed by elders, the way that tradition and ‘the way of things’ can be convoluted to exert control over wolves like Jimin, like Namjoon. 

Will you tell me more about your pack? Namjoon finally asks. 

Certainly. What would you like to know? 

How…how did you become a pack leader, as a beta? 

So Jimin tells Namjoon about how he always wanted to be a leader, how he expected to present as an alpha ever since he was a small pup. It felt so natural to him, to guide other pups, to make decisions. He had these instincts and fell into the role with such ease and confidence. No one doubted what his presentation would bring, including him. 

And then he presented as a beta, and everything changed. 

Jimin had never understood the many rules that came with traditional pack life. He always had questions about why. Why did the pack leader have to be an alpha? Why couldn’t the omegas have more prominent roles in the pack? Why did the betas have to take on more labor than everyone else? He’d always asked these sorts of questions, but he became even more determined to get answers when he presented. 

Why couldn’t he have a leadership role as a beta, when he was still the same wolf he’d been before, the same wolf that everyone whispered about being a top contender for pack alpha? 

Why was subgender allowed to determine so much about how a wolf could live? 

Why did he suddenly become smaller, less worthy, less valuable when he became a beta? 

His pack did not appreciate these sorts of questions, even if the examination of the answers might have created better circumstances for many of them. No one was interested in change, in revolution. And Jimin could see that he was never going to have the life he wanted, the life he deserved , in a pack like that. 

So he left. And in a pack that began with three, Jimin was the only one interested in leading, so it was a simple choice. 

And your friends…they came with you? They weren’t sad to leave their families? Namjoon asks wonderingly. 

No, I don’t think so. None of us…none of us felt entirely accepted there. And that’s far worse than taking a risk to find something better, don’t you think? 

Namjoon seems contemplative. Jimin waits for his reply. 

I don’t know. It is hard to measure the risk versus the reward when the reward is…is a life that I’ve never dared to imagine. 

Jimin hopes that Namjoon can begin to imagine better. Even if it takes weeks, months, another year of meetings by the river, he wants to let him imagine a world that he’s allowed to be himself in. A world where he can be an alpha, but also a poet. 

I think you’re on the right path to imagining far more than you ever dreamed. 

Namjoon continues to emerge in the early afternoons at the river. Sometimes he makes it twice in one week, but more often his visits are closer to every other week. Jimin wishes they could somehow schedule their encounters, but he knows that would be far riskier. Namjoon still seems unwilling to leave his pack, still washes his fur carefully before departing to ensure not a trace of unfamiliar wolf remains. 

Some days, they sit quietly together, much like the earlier months. Namjoon will trace out letters in the dirt, brushing his palms over the words that don’t form as he wishes. He only carves the finalized poems into the trees or the rocks. Jimin is fascinated by his process, the way the lines shift and the tiniest adjustments create an entirely new feeling. He doesn’t mind the silence; it feels more purposeful, more peaceful, now that he can lounge at Namjoon’s side.

Once, Namjoon quietly tells him about the typewriter he once had, the way he loved the sound of the keys and watching his words appear on the pages. But when Jimin asks if he ever writes the poems from the clearing on it, Namjoon just shakes his head. 

I’m not allowed, is all he’ll say about the subject, scent twisting into burnt tendrils.  

On other days, Namjoon is full of questions, always asking about the structure of Jimin’s pack, what the roles are like, how they hunt, if they have pups, if there are teachers. Where did they all come from, were they afraid, were they alone? Jimin is all too happy to tell him about his little family, the way they’ve grown to nearly thirty-five wolves now, the way that no one is expected to be a particular way because of their subgender. 

Most of us were banished or left our packs because we didn’t fit into those boxes. Or didn’t want to anymore. 

What are your alphas like? Namjoon wants to know. 

Jimin thinks about it. The alphas in the pack are so different, it would be hard to categorize them in a particular way, hard to say that they’re all one way or another. He thinks that’s probably the case in most packs, but the stereotypes are so heavily enforced, the differences become suppressed. 

They’re all different. Yoongi is the alpha I’ve known the longest. He’s quiet, introspective like you. He takes care of us that way, notices when someone doesn’t have enough furs for winter or is getting sick, and makes sure they get what they need. He’s excellent at finding resources too. It’s like he has a sixth sense for where plants or berries grow. 

Do the alphas…do they have to hunt? 

Jimin shakes his head. No. Our hunters are all skilled, and all volunteered for the role. One of our omegas, Jungkook, is actually one of the best hunters. 

Oh. That’s amazing, Namjoon tells him emphatically. 

I’m sure he would appreciate hearing that. He’s a bit shy at first, but he loves compliments. 

Jimin loves seeing Namjoon’s response to the way his pack operates. Even if it’s just an explanation, even if it doesn’t do justice to actually seeing the way the pack moves and works together, he can tell that Namjoon is intrigued. 

One afternoon, he gets the courage to ask if Namjoon wants to come with him to the pack grounds. He’s not sure if it’s a good idea, doesn’t want to get his pack members (or himself) too excited about the prospect of finally welcoming the new mysterious alpha, but he wants so badly to show Namjoon what he could have. He wants him to know, without a doubt, that he would be welcomed in this pack, that no one would expect him to hunt or make big decisions or wrestle with other alphas in some show of misplaced dominance. 

You don’t have to stay, but…but the pack would love to meet you. I’ve told them a lot about you. 

Namjoon flicks his ears anxiously. I…I’m not sure it’s a good idea. What if…what if my pack smells them on me? What if they think I’ve been helping another pack encroach on our territory? What if they make me show them where your pack is, hurt you, hurt your family…

Hey, it was just an idea. We don’t have to, Jimin soothes, letting his scent curl around Namjoon. They still don’t sit especially close together, but he can’t help letting his pheromones wrap through Namjoon’s fur most days, can’t help but offer him the solace and comfort that he so clearly lacks. 

I’m sorry. I just…I’m afraid. I don’t want to ruin everything. 

Is that what you’re worried about? That your pack will search for you? 

That, and in doing so, they’ll ruin what you’ve created. This…this pack oasis, this pack that’s saved so many wolves. I just don’t want to be its undoing. 

Jimin understands where he’s coming from, but he just doubts it will come to pass. Packs like Namjoon’s don’t usually become possessive over wolves they find to be useless. It’s harsh, but it’s true. It’s not worth starting a war over an alpha that doesn’t want to conform to their subgender expectations, one that doesn’t want to hunt or lead or breed. It’s the same with the other wolves; packs don’t want betas who challenge alphas, omegas that don’t want to be bred, alphas that aren’t aggressive. 

And that gives Jimin an idea. 

What if there was a different way? 

It’s only half a plan, and Jimin doesn’t even know if it will work or if Namjoon will agree to it. But he can hope. 

Jimin’s idea is simple: Namjoon should just prove that he’s a useless alpha in his pack’s terms, enough so that he is actually asked to leave. He doesn’t want to call it exile or banishment, but…it sort of is. 

What do you think you would have to do, in order for them to not want you to stay? 

I…I’m not sure. I’ve always tried to follow the rules, mostly. Even when they don’t make sense. I don’t know much about…about rebelling. 

It’s fascinating, Jimin thinks, that Namjoon’s pack believes in all these traditional alpha traits, yet they’ve made him into such a docile creature. It’s such a baffling form of forced submission, a complete mindfuck. They probably don’t even realize the damage they’ve done to his psyche.

Well, what do they expect of you? What are your responsibilities? Perhaps you could ask for different ones, or do the ones you’re assigned poorly? 

They go over Namjoon’s usual schedule. He’s on patrol several times a week, and he is usually supposed to check the far border here once a week or so on his own. The task is apparently undesirable. It’s like busy work for alphas that are lower on the totem pole. He’s also supposed to attend leadership meetings, which consist entirely of the pack’s alphas discussing mating, hunting strategy, and other utter nonsense that Namjoon has no interest in. Sometimes, he’s assigned to hauling materials, like wood for building new huts or furs that are ready to be distributed. Nothing of great interest or importance. 

It’s funny, how the alphas seem to spend most of their time running or wrestling or drinking together, while the betas and omegas do all of the actual work. 

That’s probably the most Namjoon has said against his pack before, Jimin notes. He’s certainly had similar thoughts when Namjoon describes the pack dynamics. It sounds as though the alphas have made quite a cushy life for themselves, enjoying the labors of others while only partaking in the tasks they deem worthy of an alpha. 

When Jimin holds meetings, there’s a purpose. Planning out the builds for new cabins, discussing the status of medical or food stores, finding ways to improve their rudimentary education system as there are now a few pups in the pack. And it’s not for just alphas––it’s open to any member of the pack that wants to attend. Pack discussions should take place like a forum, so everyone can offer input. He can’t imagine using them as something exclusionary, as a way to appear as though he’s working when he’s not. 

They brainstorm some options for Namjoon to become more of a burden, to make it obvious that he doesn’t belong in the pack. Jimin has some suggestions that make Namjoon wince: asking the pack alpha why only alphas do certain tasks, explaining that he doesn’t want to breed an omega, that sort of thing. The bold sort of statements Jimin would make in his place. 

But Namjoon isn’t like Jimin; he doesn’t want to be brazen or blunt. He is softer, kinder, gentler. So Jimin tries to temper his suggestions to mold towards what Namjoon is comfortable with. Perhaps requesting to be removed from any hunting tasks or asking to be reassigned to tasks such as cooking or medical store cataloging. 

I could ask about writing again. 

Again? You asked and they said no? 

Namjoon wraps his tail around himself. Yes. Alphas can’t be poets. 

Jimin wants to whack him with a chiding paw, but he’s not sure if they’re at that point just yet. He often wishes to touch Namjoon, but it seems too much of a risk. Every now and then, their tails will brush, or their paws might overlap as Jimin gestures to something Namjoon has written in the dirt. And each time, they both pull away, but…Jimin wishes he didn’t have to. 

Namjoon, you are a poet. And you are an alpha. I hope that you can see that soon. Being an alpha shouldn’t mean you can’t be something else, too. It’s just part of your biology, nothing more. 

But that conversation does provide a good place for them to begin, a good place to start creating craters in a pack relationship that’s already cracked.

Chapter Text

Namjoon is planning an escape. 

Those are words he never thought would cross his mind, nor ones that would be true. Who is he, weak and soft and pliant, to be envisioning something so grand as a new life? What chance does he have out in the world, with a pack that has no loyalty or blood ties to keep him? 

He knows that’s what pack alpha would say if he knew what Namjoon was up to; knows it’s how all the other wolves would feel, minus Seokjin and Hoseok. It’s how he felt too, up until a few months ago, when he started talking to the white wolf, the one that gave him reasons to hope. 

Jimin. 

Namjoon is still astonished that he’s real, still wants to reach out with a tentative paw and make sure he’s not an apparition, a ghost of unbidden daydreams. On the few times their fur has brushed or they’ve grazed paws, Namjoon feels like he’s been electrocuted and has to pull back immediately. The solidity, the reality of this white wolf, this beautiful creature that seems to want Namjoon in his life…it’s too much. 

He wishes he didn’t waste so much time thinking the wolf was a figment of his imagination. Why is he such an idiot sometimes? How could he ever have been oblivious to the soft scent of water lilies, the watchful expression, the all-too-real movements of Jimin’s fur just a handful of paces away? Would he have learned about the Heartleaf pack so much sooner? Would he already be with them? 

Still, he has immensely enjoyed the afternoons he’s gotten to spend with Jimin, nerve-wracking as it may be at times. There is so much beyond the borders of his pack’s territory that he could never have imagined. Even with Jimin, he’s found it hard to believe that there are packs that just…don’t subscribe to tradition. It’s taken him all these months just to accept the possibility, to trust that finding out for himself is worth all the risks he might incur. 

After a few conversations with Jimin, he dares to speak of the white wolf to Seokjin and Hoseok. 

He has to be careful, so careful, not to let anyone overhear. He can’t have the other alphas finding out that he still writes his poems at the borders of their territory in fallen trees and sun-dried dirt. He can’t have them knowing that he’s spoken to a wolf outside of their pack. More than once. He can’t let them know he’s thinking of betraying the only pack he’s ever known, the one that allows him to stay even when he is a bad alpha. 

They can’t know that Jimin’s scent calms him more than any other. 

He wishes, briefly, that he could just bring Seokjin and Hoseok to the border with him so they could meet Jimin themselves. That way, it will prove once and for all that he’s not a figment of Namjoon’s imagination. Honestly, he’d be pretty impressed with himself if he could come up with something as glorious as Jimin anyway. 

But since that’s not possible, he opts to join them on a foraging day. 

None of the other alphas ever have interest in assisting with foraging. They’re meant to hunt, to bring home meat and carry heavy objects, not kneel in the grasses searching for edible mushrooms or picking flowers to use in poultices. So it’s guaranteed that no alphas will wander across them as Namjoon spills his secret in hushed murmurs. 

They start out in their wolf forms to cover more ground and reach the best foraging location more quickly, but it’s entirely ineffective to try and pick herbs or flowers with clumsy paws, so they shift into human form once they arrive. Hoseok directs them towards which plants to focus on: daisies for wound tinctures and lavender for sleep teas, chamomile if they can find it for pain relief. 

After they’ve collected several handfuls each, Hoseok turns to Namjoon. “So, are you going to tell us why you’re acting all jittery? Usually these trips calm you down.” 

Namjoon chews on his lip, glancing around. He’s sure no one followed them; there’s no reason for anyone to be suspicious of the three of them going foraging together. They’ve done it dozens of times. He’s just anxious. He doesn’t know how they’ll receive the information. He’s hardly managed to process half of it himself, and he’s known about Jimin for months. He’s only going to be able to give Seokjin and Hoseok a few hours at most to digest it before they’ll have to return to the pack grounds and remain silent about the information. 

“I…you know how I was assigned to do the far border checks?” Namjoon begins. The other two nod. “Well, I sometimes stay an hour or two; there’s a stream, or maybe a river, and a nice patch of dirt for writing, so sometimes I sit for a while.” 

“Okay…is that why you’re nervous? Because you think you’ll get in trouble?” Seokjin coaxes. 

Namjoon shakes his head. “No. Um…I met someone there. Another wolf.” 

The others stare at him with wide eyes. Namjoon flinches away from their surprise; he didn’t mean to make it sound like that, like he’s been having some sort of tryst with a secret lover. That’s not what Jimin is, not at all! He’s just…he’s a friend. A beautiful, strong, enchanting friend. 

“No, no! Not like that. He’s the pack leader for another pack, one that’s…different from ours. They don’t use the traditional roles, subgender doesn’t matter. He’s a beta, but he's the pack leader. Anyone can mate, or have multiple mates, and no one has to have pups. And…and he wants me to join them,” Namjoon says all in a rush. 

His friends continue to look at him in astonishment. He probably could have presented it differently, more calmly, but it’s all been so overwhelming in his mind. Once he had the opportunity to let it all out, he couldn’t think about the way he was phrasing everything. 

“Joon, what…are you serious?” Seokjin finally asks. “You’ve been meeting some strange wolf for…for months, talking about leaving the pack? And you’re just now bringing it up?” 

“Well…” Namjoon hesitates; don’t they see? “I thought, at first, that I was just imagining him, but finally I just said something to him, and he was real all along. He’s…he’s different from the wolves here. His pack is different.” 

“How do you know, Joonie?” Hoseok asks gently. “Have you seen his pack, talked to any of them? He could just be trying to lure you in, figuring out the things that would sound most appealing to you.” 

“But why would he do that?” Namjoon asks. 

“I don’t know…maybe to use you as some sort of…bait? Or leverage? Other packs can be dangerous, that’s why we don’t associate with them,” Hoseok says, but he sounds a little unsure. 

“I don’t think I’d provide very good leverage. If that’s what he wanted, he’d go after an omega, or a wolf the pack leaders actually care about,” Namjoon says. 

“Joon,” Seokjin says warningly. “Don’t talk like that.” 

“It’s true though, isn’t it? The alpha that isn’t really an alpha? The one no one wants in their hunting party, that doesn’t talk just to hear his own voice? The one any omega would be ashamed to court?” Namjoon feels his cheeks turning pink, the frustration building. He knows his friends don’t feel that way, but the rest of the pack does, and they can’t pretend to be blind to it. 

“Okay, so let’s say this wolf is what he says he is,” Seokjin says quickly. “What then? You just disappear one day and expect no one to come looking for you?”

Well. That would be ideal, wouldn’t it, Namjoon thinks. “No. I just have to be asked to leave, and then no one will have a reason to look.”

Seokjin and Hoseok look at each other. He can tell what they’re thinking: has Namjoon lost his mind? But then they seem to come to a conclusion. 

“What if we came with you?” 

And that is more than Namjoon could have hoped for. Because of course he doesn’t want to leave his best and only friends behind; they’ve been the only certainty in his life for as long as he can remember, and he would love to keep them at his side forever. But…he didn’t think that it was something he could ask of them. They’re of greater value to the pack; they can actually fulfill the roles they’re supposed to, contribute in the ways expected of them.

“Come with me?” he says uncertainly. “You…you would really want to?” 

“Well, we’d need to talk about it more, but…yeah. Where you go, we go,” Seokjin says. 

So in quiet moments and hushed voices, they add to Jimin’s plan. Not only does Namjoon have to make himself utterly useless, but Hoseok and Seokjin have to tie themselves irrevocably to him. Then, when the pack asks Namjoon to leave, they’ll have reason to go with him. 

“What if we just offered to escort you from the pack land?” Hoseok proposes. But Seokjin and Namjoon both shake their heads. 

“They’d want an alpha to do that, if they thought it was necessary. They probably wouldn’t trust us,” Seokjin says. Namjoon agrees. If there were any question of whether he actually would leave the territory, an alpha would be assigned to remove him, and they don’t have any alpha allies. 

“We could all find ways to get kicked out, but…I think that would look suspicious too,” Namjoon says. “It can’t be clear that we’re trying to leave, it has to seem like it’s coming from them.” 

“Well…I think that leaves us with only one logical choice,” Seokjin says. The other two gaze at him expectantly. “We have to start courting you.” 

While Namjoon’s initial response to this is stunned silence, and Hoseok’s is uncomfortable laughter…it’s not a bad plan. There’s little hope for any omega to be interested in an alpha like Namjoon, and he’s of an appropriate age to begin courting. It would make sense for him to court a beta. He’s not sure if it makes sense for him to court two betas, but there have certainly been rumors about Seokjin and Hoseok being together so…if they play into that idea, it might just work. 

They start small, with Hoseok and Seokjin being seen together more often than usual in the pack grounds. It’s not especially out of the ordinary, but there are more whispered conversations, less distance between them at meal times. Here and there, Seokjin will slip into the medical hut or Hoseok will emerge at his side for meal preparation. 

After a few weeks of this, once they’re certain the pack has taken notice, Namjoon presents them with his first courting gift. Realistically, if he were to court someone, he would want to offer his own work, poems or stories that he’d written to convey the sincerity of his feelings. But since this is all for show, he opts for a more traditional gift: a carefully made rabbit pelt for each of them, as well as a rabbit’s foot for luck. Though the pelts are small, they are softer than some of the others and make excellent additions to a nest. 

He offers the gift after the pack has gathered for a meal, so that everyone will know he’s begun the courting process. Again, if it were real, he’d prefer privacy and intimacy over some sort of show, but…the show is what’s important. 

When he kneels before the two betas, silence falls over the pack. 

“Will you accept this gift as a gesture of my intent to court you?” he asks them softly. 

Hoseok and Seokjin exchange glances, then look to Namjoon. They nod in unison. “We accept.” 

There are murmurs amongst the pack, but no one moves to stop Namjoon. No one shouts that he can’t court two betas, or that he must court an omega instead. While it’s not technically traditional to court two wolves at once, there are some mates that accept courtship from a third wolf, or alphas that opt to court a second wolf after their first, so it’s not completely unheard of.

Namjoon continues to offer gifts to his two friends over the next few weeks, though he is more strategic in his choices. He wants to offer them things they can take with them, things that might be useful in the new pack, or that they could present as thanks to Jimin for accepting them. He gives them carefully selected stones that are shaped just right for striking a fire. He gives a pelt large enough for both of them, scented and plucked from his own little nest. He gives a bag that he helped to sew, with little pockets and a closure at the top. 

For their part, Hoseok and Seokjin continue to act a bit more giggly, a bit more borderline romantic. A hand on the thigh here, a lingering gaze there. Honestly, Namjoon isn’t even sure at this point how much of it is acting, and how much of it is just natural behavior between them that they’ve had to suppress. Because while alphas are expected to mate primarily with omegas, betas are also expected to await alpha courtship. It would likely be frowned upon for Hoseok and Seokjin to be together when there are still eligible alphas in the pack. He can’t think too deeply about it, but…he wonders. 

And all the while, Namjoon is making himself less useful in every way he can think of. 

It’s difficult to rebel, even in small ways, when he’s spent his entire life trying to hide away and blend in. It makes his body feel shaky and his mind buzzes when he does things he knows will upset the other alphas, but he reminds himself of the end goal. He reminds himself of that sunny spot on his favorite rock, the promise of a better life, an easier life . He reminds himself of all of Jimin’s stories, the way that alphas can be gentle and omegas can be fierce, the way that betas can lead. 

He reminds himself of Jimin. Just Jimin. 

That’s what he thinks of most when he asks, once again, to be excluded from the hunting party. It’s what he thinks of when he walks more slowly than the other alphas carrying firewood and pelts to the camp. It’s what he thinks of when he’s extra clumsy and spills the water he’s been carrying back from the river. It’s what he thinks of when the other alphas growl and snap at him, and he remains silent. 

It’s what he thinks of when he’s finally summoned to the pack alpha’s den. 

“Namjoon, do you know why I have called you here?” pack alpha asks. 

Namjoon shakes his head. You have to feign innocence. He can never know you want to leave. 

“I knew when you presented as an alpha, it would be a difficult transition for you. I had hoped, given some time and far more leniency than I would have shown any normal wolf, you might adjust. But it appears that is not the case,” pack alpha says sternly. 

“I apologize, pack alpha. I am trying my best,” Namjoon says with as much sincerity as he can muster. He is trying his best…to exemplify why he is a bad alpha. 

“Unfortunately, that is not very good,” pack alpha replies. “I cannot abide by an alpha that shows no interest in courting omegas, nor one that refuses to participate in hunting and slows down any other task he is assigned by at least half.” 

Namjoon hangs his head. It is shameful. It’s been far too easy for him to slip into this role, to refuse the tasks that he associates with violence and discomfort and all the posturing that comes with being an alpha. He hasn’t missed any of it. He probably should be more distressed by his lack of alpha instincts, should be more ashamed of his behavior. He should be on the ground begging pack alpha to forgive his misdeeds, to give him another opportunity. 

But he isn’t. He won’t. 

“Will you rescind your courtship of the two betas if I offer you an omega to court instead?” pack alpha offers. Namjoon snaps his head up. What? “I’m sure you are aware that pups are an important part of continuing our pack’s legacy. While it was no easy task, I have found an omega that is willing to…overlook some of your more questionable qualities. It is our hope that courting and mating an omega will awaken some of the apparently dormant alpha instincts you must have. And perhaps breeding an omega would be the best way to do that.” 

Namjoon stares in horror at pack alpha. Breed an omega? No. Absolutely not. “Pack alpha, with all due respect, I have already made my courting decision. I cannot take it back, nor do I want to. I’m sure that there are other alphas much more suitable for that role.” 

Pack alpha stares evenly at him. “It is not of any benefit to this pack for you to court two betas, particularly two betas that already seem… enamored with one another. It is not as though you will leave them bereft; they will have each other, and you will be contributing to the pack, which is something you have failed to do thus far.” 

Hold steady. Even though this wasn’t in the plan, you can do this, Namjoon tells himself. He shakes his head again. “I’m sorry, but I cannot do that.” 

“Namjoon, I do not think you understand me. I am not making a request. I am not asking you if you will end your courtship and do what is proper for an alpha. I am telling you it is what you will do.” 

“And if I still refuse?”

Namjoon thinks he sees surprise flash across pack alpha’s face, though he conceals it just as quickly. “If you refuse, you will be in direct conflict with me. And that is not something I can tolerate. You will be banished from the pack.”

Namjoon does his best to remain stoic, not to let the fear and anxiety that he feels about his plan show through. “I will not abandon my courtship, so if that means leaving the pack…then I will do so.” 

Pack alpha looks astounded. “You do realize that few, if any, lone wolves survive? You are agreeing to a death sentence rather than mating an omega?” 

Namjoon nods. “I will discuss my decision with Seokjin and Hoseok. I do not wish to force them into leaving with me, but they deserve to know that I made this choice with my affections for them in mind.” 

Pack alpha shakes his head. “If they have any sense, they will be glad to be rid of you.” 

Even though Namjoon knows Seokjin and Hoseok feel no such thing, the words still sting. He bows to pack alpha before exiting his den. He makes his way to Hoseok’s hut, where he and Seokjin are waiting. 

“What did he say?” Seokjin whispers as soon as Namjoon enters the hut. 

“It worked,” Namjoon breathes. “He…he told me that I should end our courtship, that it was my duty to mate an omega instead. And that…if I didn’t, he would banish me.” 

“What about us? Did he say anything?” Hoseok asks. 

Namjoon shakes his head. “Not exactly, just that you’d be foolish to follow me.”

“Well, we’re fools then, because we go wherever you go,” Seokjin declares. “We’ve already put some things into the bag you gave us in preparation. We’ll have to travel pretty light, but I’ve been saving some bits from meals, just preserved meat and some vegetables and such. And of course all your gifts. When do we need to be ready?”

Namjoon doesn’t really know; pack alpha didn’t specify when he had to make a final decision. But honestly, the sooner the better. He wants to get away from all of this, all these oppressive concepts that make him feel worse and worse about himself by the hour. He knew what pack alpha would say, at least to some degree, but he wasn’t prepared for the way it would make him feel. He knows it isn’t wrong for him to court a beta, knows that Hoseok and Seokjin would both be worthy mates if he felt that way about them. He knows he is worth more, capable of more than breeding. But when pack alpha says those things…it makes it hard for him to remember any of it. 

“Let’s go tomorrow morning. If we leave early, maybe there won’t be a big scene,” Hoseok decides. 

The other two agree, and they separate to gather what little they’ll be able to take. It can’t come across as an easy decision. It has to look at least slightly hasty; it can’t be obvious that they’ve all been setting aside a bit of food here, a treasured stone or fur there. 

Namjoon doesn’t have much he cares to bring with him. Even though it’s still warm out, he’ll bring his traveling fur. It can serve well as part of a nest or to be worn on his human body in the colder months, so it seems the best one to take. He’ll bring the scraps of parchment that he’s saved from his writing over the years and the book of poems he first read as a pup. Beyond that, the only thing he wants is the typewriter…but he knows that’s something he could never bring. It’s too heavy, too cumbersome, and it would more than likely be broken in the journey to Jimin. 

He assumes that Hoseok and Seokjin will be much the same, plus a few herbs and medications from Hoseok, and some dried fruits and nuts from Seokjin. And of course, the courting gifts. He hopes that he’s not making them leave behind anything they can’t live without. He hopes that they’re all making the right choice. 

When morning comes and the three friends gather together at the edge of the pack’s camp, few of the other wolves have woken yet. Namjoon counts them lucky; he worried that word of his departure would spread quickly and the pack would be more alert, ready to observe the fallout. Pack alpha is there, though, watching them appraisingly. 

“You have made your decision, then?” he directs at Namjoon. 

Namjoon nods. “I have. I will leave peacefully.” 

“And the betas?” 

“We will go where our future mate goes,” Hoseok says. 

Pack alpha snorts. “You really want to throw away the security and comforts of being a beta with a pack for half of an alpha?” 

If Hoseok were in wolf form, Namjoon suspects his tail would be thrashing angrily, ears pinned back in irritation. As it is, he isn’t doing a very good job of concealing his emotions. Please, let’s just get out of here without a fight, he wants to whisper. We’re so close. 

“The bond of mates is strong. We have made the commitment with all the factors in mind, so we will go peacefully with Namjoon,” Seokjin intervenes. Namjoon shoots a grateful glance at him. 

“Very well. Once you leave the territory, you will no longer be welcome back. Do not make me prove the truth of that promise,” pack alpha says. 

And that’s all. Pack alpha returns to his den, the few others that are awake whispering amongst one another, but no one approaches the trio. Not wanting to push their luck, the three wolves pick up their things and depart, never glancing back. 

Once they get a bit further into the woods, they opt to shift so they can reach the edge of the territory more quickly. It seems safer to have their instincts sharpened anyway. Namjoon doubts that they’ll be followed, but just in case…he doesn’t want to bring any trouble to Jimin’s pack, especially on the very first day. 

You okay? Hoseok asks as they trot together, bags clutched in their jaws. It looks a little silly, a human-sized satchel dangling from a giant wolf’s jaws, but it certainly wouldn’t fit as a backpack, so they have to make do for now. 

I will be. 

And even though he isn’t entirely certain that’s true, for the first time, Namjoon dares to hope that it is. 

When they arrive at the border of the territory, Namjoon glances around for Jimin. Sometimes he’s already there when Namjoon emerges from the woods, his white fur luminous in the afternoon sunshine. Sometimes he pads leisurely from the brush minutes or even an hour after Namjoon gets there. But Jimin never fails to appear on the days Namjoon visits. 

They hadn’t been able to communicate an exact day or time for Namjoon to arrive. It was impossible to know when exactly the plan would work, how much time they would have, what the situation would be. So many pieces of the puzzle were unknown; they just had to hope they could predict the behavior of pack alpha well enough to get out safely. 

So Namjoon is a little nervous that Jimin won’t be there, that he won’t know to expect Namjoon. It’s a bit earlier than he usually arrives since they left just after sunrise, and patrols normally don’t begin until after breakfast. Even with Hoseok and Seokjin, two wolves that don’t travel long routes nearly as often as Namjoon, they made good time, and it’s only late morning when they arrive. 

Is this where you’ve been writing? Hoseok asks, nosing at the fallen tree with words carved into the trunk. It looks like art. Double art, with the words and the carving. 

Namjoon snorts, nudging Hoseok away from the tree with his snout. Yes, but you don’t need to read it. It’s private. 

Private? You left it on a tree in the middle of a forest, how is that private?

Does Jimin get to read your poems? 

Namjoon does not appreciate this line of questioning, and it’s lucky that Jimin himself chooses that moment to emerge, his paws crunching in the underbrush as he pauses a handful of meters away from them. 

Hello, Namjoon. I see you’ve brought your friends. 

Hoseok and Seokjin tense instinctively at the presence of a new wolf, but Namjoon has the opposite response. He nearly wags his tail when he sees Jimin, which is…a little much. It would be embarrassing to be so obviously excited. Especially when the circumstances are still kind of…grim. Technically, he has just been exiled from his pack. This is not a tail wagging occasion. 

Yes, this is Hoseok and Seokjin. We…we officially left the pack today. And I’d like to accept your invitation to join yours. 

Jimin flicks his ears, and Namjoon could swear that he’s holding his tail back from wagging too. I am glad to hear it. It’s very good to finally meet you both. Do you also wish to join my pack? 

Hoseok and Seokjin nod. We go where Namjoon goes. 

I’m sure Namjoon has told you much about me, but I’d just like to go over a few things since this is our first meeting. Would that be alright? 

The other two betas nod, tilting their ears forward to show their interest. Namjoon watches curiously, wondering what Jimin will say. 

Our pack is the only safe place many of these wolves have known. With few exceptions, they have all come to me in this very spot. Many have experienced similar circumstances to all of you. Many have endured the worst the world has to offer. So there are three things that I ask of all my pack members. If you can agree to them, I will gladly welcome you and consider you my family from this point onward. 

Namjoon hasn’t heard this part before. He hopes the three things aren’t terrible. 

First, we maintain no expectation or bias based upon subgender. All subgenders are capable of all roles, duties, and tasks. There will never be requirements of leadership, bearing pups, mating, or anything else, especially based upon your subgender. 

Secondly, all pack members must actively participate in a way that betters the pack. This role will be your choice, but in order to keep the pack healthy, we all pitch in with responsibilities. You can discuss this role with me or other members of pack leadership as you feel comfortable. 

And finally, pack means family, but beyond that, it means equality. We treat one another with respect. Each pack member has led a very different life from the next. Some of us are still unlearning behaviors and biases that we have known our whole lives. We do not judge one another for this, nor for anything else. 

Jimin waits for all of this to sink in. Namjoon, Seokjin, and Hoseok gaze at one another. None of these rules are anything they could have imagined; they sound like excellent pack parameters, nothing like the rules they’ve grown up with. Don’t challenge an alpha. Omegas must bear pups. Mating is expected. Your subgender dictates your future. Pack is family, but family is not equal. 

Do you agree to these three rules? Jimin asks, looking at each of them in turn. Namjoon is the first to nod, his legs feeling a bit shaky with anticipation. Seokjin is next, and finally, Hoseok. 

We agree. 

Then I would like to formally welcome you all to the Heartleaf pack. 

And for the first time since he started visiting this spot, Namjoon follows Jimin from one territory into the next. And he doesn’t look back. 

Namjoon isn’t sure what he imagined when he thought about Jimin’s pack, but it certainly wasn’t this. 

Instead of the rickety huts and tents most wolves used in Namjoon’s old pack, Jimin’s pack has little clusters of carefully constructed huts and cabins inside a larger semicircle of cave entrances. There must be at least fifteen small structures. He wonders how they constructed such a place; it must have taken many moons, and many skilled hands to do it. He can imagine that the cabins are warm and lovely, much cozier than anything he’s known. 

Everything in the grounds appears well organized and purposeful, which is soothing to Namjoon. There is a medical hut near the center of the space, the scent of herbs and tea wafting from the opening. Namjoon glances at Hoseok, wondering if he’ll want to continue working as a medic or if he’ll choose to do something else in this new life they have. 

There are clusters of wolves throughout the clearing, some working on cleaning furs and blankets, some working on preparing vegetables for a meal, and still others chatting and grooming one another. There are plenty of people in human form, some clothed in furs and others bare. Others are in wolf form, observing or stretching out in sunny patches. Everyone seems comfortable and content in their tasks. 

Namjoon isn’t sure if it was the best choice to enter the camp in wolf form, but it just felt a bit more secure. He doesn’t think he’d be quite as confident walking in as a human; his anxiety is best concealed behind fur and fangs. His senses are heightened this way too, so he feels more capable of processing his surroundings. 

He didn’t account for the onslaught of new scents, though. There is no separation of wolves here; the alphas and betas and omegas all overlapping, sweet and soft and musky and clean scents all intertwined. Most of them are curious, a few neutral or uncertain, but no one smells hostile. Namjoon can’t imagine his own pack would receive three new wolves so calmly. 

Jimin is also still in his wolf form, but he turns to Namjoon briefly. I’m going to shift to speak to everyone about your arrival. You may remain in whatever form you feel most comfortable in, and I’ll show you to your new den afterwards. 

Namjoon chuffs his agreement, glancing at Hoseok and Seokjin flanking him. They seem to be in agreement about remaining in wolf form for the time being; there is still something a little too vulnerable in shifting to human form. 

Jimin pads to the center of the grounds, his shift elegant and seamless, one of the other pack members handing him a robe to slip on as he passes. Namjoon has heard the ancient stories about shifts that were painful or gruesome, but over time, the wolves evolved to shift quite quickly and gracefully. It’s almost like stepping across an invisible boundary, from one existence into another. It’s no surprise that Jimin moves with such grace. 

What Namjoon was not prepared for was Jimin looking like that. 

He knew that his wolf form was beautiful, the white fur mysteriously pristine despite living outdoors, despite presumably encountering the same mud and rain and debris everyone else does. Jimin as a wolf is elegant and lithe, clearly powerful, clearly made to lead. But Jimin as a human…he’s something else entirely. 

He’s not especially tall, certainly shorter than Namjoon, but his gait is purposeful. He holds himself with the air of a leader, which makes him seem…if not larger, more intimidating. His hair is a pale blonde, nearly white itself. It falls around his face, reaching just below his chin. His lips are so plump, Namjoon doesn’t know how anyone looks away from them, his cheeks slightly round and soft, his eyes gentle but commanding as they sweep over the pack. 

Jimin is beautiful. 

“Hello, everyone. As I have announced before, we have new wolves joining our pack. This is a long awaited moment, and I am pleased that we have finally found our way together. I’d like you to warmly welcome Namjoon, Seokjin, and Hoseok. Please help them feel at home here. For this evening, we will have a celebratory meal. Tomorrow, we can begin considering what roles our new members may fit into.”

Oh. Oh, his voice…it’s entirely more beautiful than his wolf voice conveys, Namjoon thinks. Jimin has an almost musical cadence to his speech, soft but entrancing. It’s easy to see how he’s earned the respect and attention of his pack. 

“I will personally be showing the wolves to their new dens, and then we will return for the meal later tonight. I’m sure you’re all eager to get to know them, but remember how it felt to transition into a new pack. Please allow them the time and space each of you were granted. I know you will all do your best,” Jimin concludes.

Namjoon is a bit too busy being dazed by Jimin to realize he’s finished speaking and is now heading straight for them. He’s not sure if Jimin will shift back, or if he’ll remain in his human form. He’s making Namjoon feel much more nervous this way, so he hopes it will be the former. Jimin can still speak to them in human form, but he won’t be able to hear what they’re saying back. So he has to shift back, right? He’ll give Namjoon an opportunity to really take in all of that before he has to talk to Jimin as a human? 

Luckily, Jimin does shift back, seeing that all three new wolves are still in animal form. 

This way, please. Most of the dens are on this side of the territory. Some wolves prefer to use the cabins, others like to sleep in groups in the caves. You are welcome to do either, but we tidied up one of the spare cabins in case that was your preference when you arrived. 

But…but we never even told you when we were coming, Namjoon says questioningly. 

I knew you would eventually. I wanted to be ready to welcome you. 

The other three exchange a glance. Jimin’s confidence is different from what their pack alpha had; it’s somehow more endearing, gentler. His certainty seems…kind, rather than abrasive. 

There are some extra furs here, though I see you brought a few of your own. It’s not required, but we did put in some clothes for your human forms as well, if you wish to use them. We also set aside some water canteens and a few bowls for you. Each wolf is responsible for tidying their space and their items, and we alternate other duties, like cleaning up the cooking area. Some wolves prefer that task, especially if cooking isn’t their forte and they can’t contribute there. 

Sounds like Namjoonie, Seokjin quips. Do you need help with any of the cooking duties? That’s what I did for the pack before, and I enjoyed it. I’m rather good at it too. 

Humble as always, Hoseok huffs fondly at him. 

We can always use help in most tasks, since we are a fairly small pack without traditionally designated roles. Do either of you two have anything you’d prefer to do? Jimin asks, looking between Hoseok and Namjoon. 

Well, I am trained in the medicinal field, but I’d be happy to try something new as well. I enjoy it, but…it’s all I’ve ever done. I’d be glad to learn new skills too, if there is anything your pack needs, Hoseok explains. 

Namjoon is a bit surprised by this. Hoseok had never expressed any such sentiment to him; he thought he was destined to work in the medical tent. But maybe it’s just another bias, another stereotype that he’s been brainwashed into believing this whole time. Maybe Hoseok was just better at concealing his discontent than Namjoon. 

And what about you, Namjoon? Jimin asks gently. 

And that is the question, isn’t it? Namjoon was so focused on getting away from his pack, on being somewhere that he wasn’t expected to be everything that he isn’t, he didn’t put much thought into what he could do instead. What does an alpha that hates hunting and leading do? 

I…I guess I just want to feel useful? he replies. He knows that isn’t exactly an answer, but he’s not sure he has an answer at the moment. He hasn’t considered the options, doesn’t even really know what the options are. He knows that he likes to read and write, that he wants to continue doing those things, but…that doesn’t really contribute to the pack, does it? He’s not especially good in the kitchen, unless it’s very simple preparation work. He’s always been far slower than the other wolves at most tasks, always felt self-conscious about how long it took him to master new things. He doesn’t want Jimin to regret allowing him to join the pack, so he’ll need to work extra hard. 

Well, that’s a lovely answer. We can show you the ropes of everything around here, and see where you settle in best, Jimin says. Namjoon feels a little better after that, hopeful that maybe with a bit of patience, a bit of trial and error, he can actually find his place here. 

Please, rest for a bit and then feel free to come back out here. The other wolves will be eager to get to know you. I know it may seem overwhelming, but many of them have experienced similar lives to yours. They won’t push too hard. We’ll have dinner in a few hours. 

With that, Jimin departs, leaving the other three to look around the small hut in wonder. 

It seems too good to be true, Hoseok says. How has a pack like this always been out here and we’ve never known? 

Well, not always. I think Jimin said he only formed the pack a few years ago. But you’re right, it’s hard to realize it’s been only half a day’s journey away even for that amount of time, Namjoon says. 

They nose around the hut, just large enough for the three of them. Namjoon especially likes the furs they’ve been given. They smell like Jimin. He wonders if he scented them, or if his water lily scent just clings to the fibers of the furs naturally. He hopes it was purposeful. 

The bowls are beautifully crafted; Namjoon wonders who in the pack learned to make them. He wonders if he could learn as well, but quickly dismisses the idea. I’d probably break them before they could be used, he thinks. He’ll have to be extra careful using these ones; he doesn’t want to offend the pack by breaking their gift. 

Do you want to shift before we go out, or stay in wolf form? Seokjin asks. 

I…I think I still feel more comfortable in wolf form? But it’s okay if either of you would prefer to shift, Namjoon says honestly. He doesn’t think he’s ready to interact with anyone in human form just yet. Plus, what if Jimin doesn’t like how he looks? It’s one thing for him to have seen Namjoon’s wolf, but it’s another entirely for him to see Namjoon as a man. 

We’ll stick together, then, Hoseok decides. Namjoon appreciates it; he doesn’t want to feel like the odd one out.

They decide to take a quick nap, their limbs heavy from walking all morning. Namjoon rarely gets to sleep beside anyone, since he’s never had a mate and alphas don’t often cuddle. It’s nice to feel the warmth of his friends against his sides, tails curled around noses, soft breaths in sync. He thinks maybe, once he gets to know more of the pack, he might enjoy sleeping in one of the dens with the other wolves. It sounds peaceful, safe, to be surrounded by pack. By family. 

When they wake, they can already smell the scent of meat cooking on the fire, spices and herbs filling the air. Namjoon can see Seokjin’s snout twitching as he wakes, already alert to the scent of good food. He rumbles in laughter, waking Seokjin fully. 

What’s so funny? Seokjin grumbles, blinking at Namjoon. 

You’re already thinking about how they’re cooking the meat, aren’t you? Namjoon says, watching Seokjin curl his lip playfully in response. 

Maybe. I’ve never gotten to learn another pack’s cooking methods, okay? 

Once they’ve all shaken off their drowsiness, they make their way out to the center of the pack grounds. It’s not terribly crowded yet, the afternoon still drawing to a close, but several wolves are milling about. A few in human form are working on the meal, putting meat over the fire and setting aside vegetables. Namjoon looks around anxiously, trying to spot Jimin, but he isn’t anywhere in sight. 

Hello! Did the cabin suit your needs? Are you settling in alright? 

Namjoon nearly jumps when another wolf approaches them, his steps cheerful and bouncy, tail swishing eagerly. His coat is dark gray with white speckled throughout, which gives him an almost silver appearance in places. His scent is sweet, something like cocoa or almond. Namjoon doesn’t want to inhale too obviously, doesn’t want to come across as an overeager alpha sniffing a new omega, but he thinks it’s lovely. 

Oh, I should have started with my name! I’m Taehyung, one of the original pack members. The wolf—Taehyung—wags his tail, waiting for them to introduce themselves. Namjoon has never encountered an omega that’s so…friendly? Confident? No omega in their pack would even consider approaching an unfamiliar, unmated alpha just to say hello. And they certainly wouldn’t do it while wagging their tails. 

Um, hello. I’m Hoseok, this is Seokjin, and this is Namjoon. We found the cabin very nice, thank you. Is there anything you need help with to start the meal? Hoseok asks politely. 

Oh, no! It’s your first night, enjoy the time to relax and start getting to know the pack. There will be plenty of time for Yoongi and the others to put you to work later, Taehyung says. Would you like me to introduce you around? 

The three exchange glances. It feels a bit nerve wracking, especially without the buffer of Jimin, but they might as well start learning names and faces. Okay, Namjoon tells him. 

Taehyung happily trots in front of them, calling out to various wolves as they approach. They all blur together in Namjoon’s mind, but he does his best to appear friendly, ears perked, gentle sniffs of each wolf’s scent, a tail wag here and there. He hopes his anxiety isn’t conveyed too obviously through his body language or his scent. He’s still not the best at regulating it, especially when he’s nervous or stressed. 

It’s a bit harder for Taehyung to introduce them to anyone that’s in human form, but he does his best, running up and yipping, turning his snout in the direction of the new wolves. Most people get the hint, introducing themselves and then nodding at each wolf in turn. Namjoon feels a little guilty for opting not to shift, but it seems common enough, considering that plenty of the other pack members are also in wolf form. 

Taehyung holds up much of the conversational threads, chatting about this and that, telling them all sorts of little anecdotes and stories about each of the wolves they meet. He seems quite content to do most of the talking, seems to understand that the others are still fairly nervous and stressed. And truthfully, it is rather soothing, to see an omega taking on such a role. Greeting newcomers, not a sign of anxiety in sight. Comfortable with every wolf they meet, regardless of subgender. Namjoon remembers the subtle wash of anxiety in the omegas’ scents when he or the other alphas were nearby in their old pack; it was truly the polar opposite of Taehyung. 

Finally, after they’ve met what feels like a hundred new wolves (but is probably closer to about ten or fifteen), Taehyung settles near the fire, curling up in the short grasses there. Dinner should be ready soon. Yoongi is a great cook, he’s taught a lot of us how to make things well. Not me, I’m kind of hopeless when it comes to that, but I’m really good at cleaning! 

Is Yoongi in charge of the cooking, then? I don’t think we’ve met him? Seokjin asks. 

Sort of. He shares the duties with lots of other wolves, but I think he’s the best, Taehyung says fondly. 

Is he…is he your mate? Namjoon asks. 

Not officially, but in most ways, yes, Taehyung says. He looks rather dreamy, as much as a wolf can. He didn’t want to admit that he liked me, thought I was just an annoying young wolf always nipping at his heels and trying to get his attention. But I grew on him. He was helpless to resist. 

Hoseok and Seokjin chuff in laughter. Namjoon is astonished by the way Taehyung phrases these things. An omega, courting an alpha? That is unheard of. It’s similarly unheard of for an alpha to reject the interest of an omega. Alphas tend to run on pride and love the idea of being surrounded by wanton omegas begging for their knots. 

But…but maybe that’s not true. That’s not how you feel, is it? Namjoon chastises himself. He has a feeling that being in this pack is going to give him a lot of thinking and unlearning to do. There are certainly concepts and stereotypes that he recognizes as wrong, but it seems that there are going to be a lot of implicit biases he has to confront as well. 

Which one is Yoongi? Seokjin asks curiously, gazing over to the group working on the meal. 

Oh, I think he’s off with Jimin somewhere. They do a lot of the organization of the pack together, though we discuss things as a group too. Anyone that wants to be involved in decision making and such can! Taehyung says. I don’t mind just being told how I can help, though. 

Namjoon wonders what Jimin and Yoongi are discussing. The new pack members? Some sort of initiation? Ways to put them to work? What if this is all some sort of elaborate scheme after all? Namjoon wonders vaguely. He knows he’s just being paranoid, the anxiety and stress of the day taking its toll, but it’s hard to trust. Even if he’s spent hours with Jimin, talking and getting to know one another, Namjoon has a ways to go in fully trusting his pack too. 

Namjoonie? Hoseok asks, nudging him gently with his snout. You okay? 

Namjoon realizes that his scent has gone a bit sour with anxiety and does his best to reel it back. It’s embarrassing to wear his emotions so blatantly. He hopes he can figure out how to remedy it. Maybe Jimin will know what to do? His scent is always so nice. 

I’m okay. Just nervous, Namjoon replies. 

Don’t worry, Jiminie won’t leave you for long. He’s been talking about you joining the pack for ages, basically never shuts up about it, Taehyung says. 

Namjoon isn’t sure what to make of that. Jimin has talked about him? A lot? What has he said? How Namjoon thought he was imaginary at first, a beautiful apparition? How he’s a bad alpha with no proper instincts? How he couldn’t manage to do any of his duties correctly and probably would have gotten kicked out of his pack eventually anyway? 

Or…or maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe Jimin has said kind things about him. Maybe he’s talked about the alpha that he spent hours discussing poems and language with. Maybe he’s talked about the way that Namjoon isn’t a typical alpha, and how that makes him better. Maybe he’s said that Namjoon is gentle and kind and considerate. Maybe he’s said that he deserves to be here. 

It’s going to take some work to believe the second option, for Namjoon to adjust his inner monologue…but being here has already wound a thread of silver optimism through his fur.

The pack dinner is a bit overwhelming, but Namjoon certainly feels better when Jimin approaches, taking Namjoon’s bowl and filling it with a generous portion before bringing it back to him. Namjoon has never been served a meal this way before. It feels…strange, but nice. Jimin settles into the spot beside Namjoon, smiling gently at him. Namjoon is very glad that he’s in wolf form, because he would absolutely be blushing otherwise. As it is, his scent becomes pleased, tail twitching while he tries to resist a full-on wag of happiness. 

Oh, I see how it is, only Namjoon gets fancy treatment, Seokjin teases. But of course Taehyung overhears, and quickly scoops up Seokjin’s bowl in his jaws, carrying it over to request that it be filled. He then does the same with Hoseok’s bowl. 

I was just teasing, Taehyung! We can get our own meals! Seokjin protests weakly, but Taheyung is on a mission. 

You shouldn’t have to, we want you to feel welcome, he insists. 

So they each eat out of the bowls they’ve been served, and it’s impossible not to lick them clean. Even outside of wolf form, Namjoon thinks he’d have licked the bowl, because it’s delicious. He doesn’t think he’s ever had vegetables taste so nice. He’s sure that Seokjin will be chomping at the bit to discover all the culinary secrets of the pack. 

This is amazing, Namjoon tells Taehyung. Better than anything we’ve ever had. 

Watch it, Seokjin warns, but there’s no heat behind it. He’s only had what he’s been taught to work with so far, very little flexibility or encouragement to experiment with flavors and new ingredients. Namjoon is sure that he’s going to be a hundred times better in no time with the opportunity to do so here. 

You know what he means, we never used spices or anything like this. Too much time, or whatever the reasoning was, Hoseok tells Seokjin. Seokjin huffs in resigned agreement. 

Yoongi is great at flavor profiles, he even has some of the spice rubs premade in containers so we can use them easily when we need to, Taehyung says proudly. 

Did he come up with all of this? Seokjin asks. 

He and Taehyung delve into a conversation about herbs and meat preparation, which Namjoon tunes out. He doesn’t need to know how to make the food taste good; that won’t likely become his responsibility, especially if they already have so many talented cooks. He wonders where he will find his place, though. 

Jimin has been quiet beside them. Since he’s in human form, he can’t exactly join the conversation, but he watches the way they interact with Taehyung fondly. Namjoon wonders if he instructed Taehyung to make them feel welcome, or if it’s just something he does naturally with new wolves. It’s hard to imagine, given that as far as Namjoon knows, most packs are insular and territorial. How did Taehyung turn out to be so welcoming to new wolves? 

“I hope you enjoyed the meal. I can get you more, if you’d like?” Jimin says softly to Namjoon. He glances at his bowl, entirely licked clean. “You had a long way to travel, I’m sure you’re hungry.” 

Namjoon tries to shake his head, but his stomach grumbles audibly in interest at just that moment. Jimin smiles sweetly at him, picking up the bowl before Namjoon can show any signs of protest. 

Already spoiled, Hoseok says teasingly. Namjoon nips his ear playfully. 

Am not, I didn’t ask! You can share with me, if you want. 

But Namjoon doesn’t have to share, because Taehyung is already taking the other bowls up for seconds too. Please eat well. 

It feels somewhat strange to eat so much; usually, food was distributed based upon status in their pack. Alphas first, then any omegas that were expecting and pups. Betas next, and then the rest of the omegas and unpresented adult wolves. Somehow, Namjoon often got skipped over, eating small portions with the last wolves. Honestly, it made sense, since many of the other wolves didn’t consider him an alpha at all. 

It’s nice to have a full belly for once. 

Namjoon only wishes that Jimin were in wolf form, so he could feel his warmth. As it is, Jimin keeps a respectful distance between them. Namjoon understands; usually, it’s a bit odd to touch a wolf while in human form unless you’re very close or mated. But a part of him craves Jimin’s hands running through his fur, wants to feel the way Jimin would carefully undo any knots, remove any sticks or leaves that might be caught in his coat. 

It’s a new urge, but Namjoon can’t bring himself to feel differently. Any time Jimin is out of his sight, he feels more anxious, wanting to glance around and find him, to make sure he is still near. He wants the reassurance of belonging that Jimin brings with him. 

He wonders where Jimin sleeps, if he has a cabin or den of his own, or if he sleeps in one of the caves with his packmates. Namjoon can’t imagine pack alpha ever doing such a thing, but Jimin seems like he might like to cuddle, like he’d view sleeping in a den with the pack as something valuable. 

He shakes himself out of those thoughts; he doesn’t need to be seeking out Jimin’s warmth to sleep, shouldn’t assume that Jimin would even want or allow such a thing. He has Seokjin and Hoseok; he should be happy enough with them at his side. 

“If there’s anything else you need for the evening, Taehyung can bring it to you,” Jimin tells them as the pack begins to depart from the meal. “Tomorrow, I can show you around the territory, or one of the other wolves can.” 

I want to go! Taehyung bounces around Jimin, nudging at him and nearly knocking him off balance. Namjoon watches with wide eyes, but Jimin just laughs and pats Taehyung on the head. “You can come too, you nosy wolf.” 

Namjoon wishes he could have a pat on the head, but he’s not nearly as bold as Taehyung. 

“Sleep well, you deserve some rest,” Jimin tells their group, and then he heads back towards a few of the other pack members. 

Is there anything you need? If you’d like to wash up, there’s some water basins, or the stream isn’t too far. But if you’re going to stay in wolf form for now, it’s not really as necessary, is it? Taehyung says. I like being in wolf form more too. It’s just more relaxing. 

I think we have all that we need. More than that, really. Thank you, Seokjin tells him. Taehyung nods, then bounces off, probably to find Yoongi. 

Despite having rested a bit before the meal, there’s something about a full belly and the warmth of the fire that made Namjoon feel exhausted all over again. Jimin is right; they have traveled far today, and there’s been a lot of change. It will be good to sleep some more, curled up beside his best friends. He can worry about all the new things and smells and people tomorrow. 

When Namjoon wakes, he has Seokjin’s paw across his stomach and Hoseok’s tail tickling his snout. Still, he feels comfortable and safe, their familiar scents surrounding him and making him slow to wake fully. He blinks heavily, taking in the small hut, their blankets neatly piled beneath them, the stack of bowls by the entrance, the bits of sunlight creeping in from the doorway. 

And beneath all of it, the hint of water lily. 

He isn’t sure how appropriate it would be to request that Jimin scent the furs he’d given them. Is it normal to want the pack leader’s scent nearby? It could be, something soothing and reassuring. Why wouldn’t everyone want to have Jimin’s scent on their bedding, on their clothes, on their bodies? 

Okay, maybe not that last one, Namjoon thinks. 

Namjoonie, it’s too early for you to smell like that, Seokjin grumbles. 

Smell like…oh. Sorry, sorry! Namjoon whines, embarrassed. Now he can detect the traces of pleasure and desire that have wandered into his scent as he wakes, thinking of Jimin. 

What are you dreaming about, then? Hoseok asks sleepily. 

Nothing, I wasn’t dreaming about anything! 

Okay, daydreaming then? Fantasizing? How would you like me to phrase it? Hoseok huffs. 

None of those, I was just… Namjoon can’t come up with a good explanation, so he doesn’t continue.

I think we all know what he was thinking about, Seokjin teases, stretching out his legs. Namjoon growls lightly at him. 

Alright, Namjoonie, it’s okay. We’ll try not to tease you too much about your little crush, Hoseok says, probably wanting to avoid any sort of scuffle inside the small hut. That’s probably for the best, both because Namjoon doesn’t really think he would win, and because it would be poor manners to start a ruckus so early in the morning on their second day with the pack. 

Don’t have a crush, Namjoon denies half-heartedly. But…but he supposes he has something . Ever since he started talking to Jimin all those months ago, he hasn’t been able to go long without thinking of him, of the way his fur glimmers in the sunlight, of the way he holds himself so confidently, of the sweet freshness of his scent. And seeing Jimin as a man , not just in his wolf form…well, that has certainly compounded some of Namjoon’s…feelings. 

Sure you don’t, Seokjin chuckles. But they don’t push it, letting Namjoon stew over things in his head. They know well enough that Namjoon needs to overthink things twelve times over before he’s willing to discuss them, even if it causes him distress while he’s doing it. 

They pad out of the hut together, ready to investigate the options for breakfast before they go on their tour with Jimin and Taehyung. The camp is quiet, most of the wolves still sleeping. Someone must have gotten up even earlier than them, though, because they can smell traces of food in the air. 

Morning, a sleepy Taehyung greets them. Yoongi made some breakfast, just fruit and some potatoes, but it’s good. Are you hungry?

The three wolves nod, eager for more of the delicious food. 

I’ll get him, he can be kind of shy about introducing himself, Taehyung tells them, and trots off. 

A shy alpha? Maybe he’ll be friends with Namjoonie then, Hoseok jokes. 

Namjoon doesn’t think he’s shy , necessarily. He just…he doesn’t always know how to express himself, and he doesn’t like feeling awkward. So he’s just quiet. That’s different. 

Taehyung comes padding back over with a man about Jimin’s height, but with dark, nearly black hair and very fair skin. Namjoon wonders how he avoids getting sunburnt. His eyes are sharp, but his posture isn’t threatening. Namjoon cautiously sniffs for his scent, looking for traces of aggression or protectiveness, but he doesn’t detect anything. Yoongi’s scent is sort of like Namjoon’s, but fresher. More like…bergamot? 

“Hello, my name is Yoongi. I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet last night. I hope the meal was to your liking?” 

His voice is quiet but so deep, Namjoon instantly wants to take a step back. He feels a bit nervous, intimidated despite Yoongi’s small stature and neutral scent. He hasn’t even said anything frightening, but Namjoon hears alpha alpha alpha in his tone and it ignites an anxiety in him that he didn’t realize he had. He hasn’t met any other alphas in the pack yet, only smelled them from a distance. He didn’t realize that he’d have any sort of response to an alpha, but he’s just…inexplicably scared. 

Namjoon?

He hears Hoseok and Seokjin asking him if he’s alright, why he’s backing away, but he just wants to get away to somewhere safe. 

He doesn’t know this territory yet, doesn’t really know where he’s going or what he’s doing, but he runs in the only direction he can think of, towards the water. It doesn’t matter that the border of his old territory is so near, doesn’t matter that he’ll probably be easily found with the trail of distressed wolf scent he’s left in his wake. He just wants to splash beneath the surface and breathe in fresh air without the scent of other wolves, other alphas around. 

Somehow he doesn’t get lost on his way, finding the little river in only ten minutes or so. He pads up to the water and drinks, letting his paws cool and calm his nervous system. He wishes he could just float in the water, gazing up at the sky, but it’s a little difficult to do in his wolf form, and he’s even less willing to shift now that he’s alone at the edge of pack territory. 

Namjoon? 

He flinches at the sound of another wolf entering the clearing, but it’s only…

Taehyung? 

I’m sorry I followed you; I just wanted to make sure you were okay. 

I am. I just… Namjoon doesn’t know how to explain what he was feeling. Only that he was scared, and he needed to get away. Only that every alpha he’s ever known has made him feel worthless and less-than and small, and…and he’s afraid to find out if that will be the case here. Afraid to find out if he can break those associations, especially when they’re unfounded with these new wolves. 

I didn’t really care much for alphas either.

Namjoon whips his head to look at Taehyung. But…but he’s your mate? 

Taehyung wags his tail. Well. As many wolves would tell it, that’s just biology. Omegas belonging to alphas, right?

Namjoon’s ears flatten, tail low. No. I don’t think that’s right. 

I don’t either, anymore. But a part of me…I felt like maybe it was? Maybe I just wanted him because he was an alpha, because my omega thought that was what we needed? And it’s scary to want something that’s hurt you or someone you love. 

Namjoon nods. What changed? 

Well, Mimi is my best friend, and he’s never believed in any of that shit, not really. But also…Yoongi asked me what exactly I thought ‘alpha’ meant. And I started naming all the stereotypes, you know, leader, strong, fierce, wants to breed everything in sight…

Namjoon can’t help but chuckle at that. So, a knothead. 

Taehyung thumps his tail in agreement. Exactly! And then he asked if that’s how I saw him. Some of it is. He’s fierce, and he’s protective, and he can definitely be a leader. But he’s much quieter in the way he goes about things. Softer. Respectful. So, he said, what does that say about subgenders? Aren’t you just attracted to me? What does my alpha have to do with anything? 

Namjoon considers this. It’s an interesting way to think about it. He certainly feels…not separate, but disconnected from his alpha a lot of the time. But he still thinks that it’s a part of him. But doesn’t that discount a part of him? Even if he doesn’t fit into your definition? 

I think that’s just it. There’s no way to define subgenders, no way to just throw them all into these categories and boxes. It’s just…one tiny piece of a whole. What I’m trying to say is, all our wolves are good. But if you need time to adjust to other alphas, they’ll give it to you. 

Namjoon whines anxiously; he doesn’t want to be this way, doesn’t want to be the alpha that’s afraid of other alphas. But he thinks that might just have to be the case, at least for a while. 

There’s a rustling in the underbrush behind them, and they both turn to see Jimin’s white wolf emerging cautiously. Namjoon? Are you alright? 

I’m okay. Taehyung already checked on me, Namjoon tries to assure him, feeling guilty that he caused such a commotion. 

Jimin pads over and noses at Taehyung affectionately. Thank you, Taehyung. That was very kind of you. Would you mind if I spoke to Namjoon alone for a moment? You can let the pack know that we’re alright. 

Taehyung glances between them, looking like he wants to nuzzle against Namjoon before leaving but isn’t sure he’s allowed. Namjoon doesn’t mind the idea; Taehyung’s light scent is calming. He steps forward and gives him a gentle bump with his nose. Thank you. 

Taehyung gives a happy wiggle and trots off, probably to tell Yoongi that his stupid alpha voice and scent were no match for Taehyung’s soft demeanor and warmth. Namjoon hopes he doesn’t feel the need to explain too much. He’d like the alpha to know that it’s nothing personal . He’d love to be able to get to know everyone in the pack. It just…might take him some time. 

Jimin comes to sit beside him. Want to swim? 

It’s a bit of an odd question, but Namjoon does want to swim, wants to feel the water soaking through his coat and cooling him, wants to feel the weight of his body lifted from his paws. Okay. 

The water isn’t especially deep, so they could reach the bottom with their hind legs if they really wanted to, but instead they paddle around the little river, no direction in mind, just enjoying the quiet ripples. Namjoon wonders if there are ever fish in the water, if they’re disturbing another creature’s peace for the sake of their own. He wonders what it would be like to be a simpler creature, one that only needs to worry about floating and eating…what exactly do fish eat, anyway? Probably nothing as good as the food Yoongi makes. Yoongi, who might not want him to eat his food anymore, not after Namjoon literally ran away from him…

You’re thinking very loudly, Jimin tells him. 

Am I? Namjoon can’t always distinguish when he’s talking and when he’s just keeping his thoughts to himself in wolf form, especially if he’s stressed. It’s still easier to hide his emotions this way, but sometimes a rogue idea or anxiety slips through his defenses. 

Well, perhaps not literally, but. I can tell, Jimin amends. Do you want to tell me what happened? 

I…the other wolves I’ve met so far have all been betas or omegas. Yoongi was the first alpha, and I just…it made me anxious.

You know you’re much bigger than him, right? 

Namjoon yips in surprised laughter. I doubt he would appreciate you pointing it out. 

I’m sure he wouldn’t. So it can’t be his size that makes you nervous. Was it something he said? Jimin probes gently. 

Namjoon splashes a paw aimlessly against the water. No. He hardly said anything at all. I’m just…I’m used to alphas treating me poorly, I suppose, and it’s obvious that he’s important. I didn’t…I don’t want him to hate me. 

He won’t hate you. I’m sure he’s just as worried that he’s done something to offend you, Jimin assures him. Namjoon doubts that, but he appreciates Jimin trying to make him feel better. 

Did you have any alpha friends in your old pack? Jimin asks curiously. 

Not really. They were all so different from me. No one ever thought that I would present as an alpha, so it wasn’t really the group that I spent time with as a pup. And by the time I presented…it was a little late to become part of their group. Not that I really wanted to. I was happy to avoid them. 

Jimin gazes at him, and Namjoon can’t help but squirm under the attention. He’s embarrassed about his response, about his inability to fit into a pack for even a day. 

You know, some of the other wolves felt the same way when they came to us. I don’t think it’s terribly uncommon, especially for wolves coming from traditional packs. Many alphas are raised to be that way. But none of the ones here are. 

I want to give him a chance.

I know. You will. It’s only the second day, don’t expect yourself to be at ease immediately. 

They wade together in the water a while longer before shaking off and stretching out in a sunny patch of grass to let their fur dry a bit more. Namjoon thinks if he’d ever been caught doing such a thing before, just…relaxing, he’d certainly have been reprimanded. Despite the other alphas often lazing about while the other wolves worked hard to keep the pack fed and comfortable, Namjoon was the exception. 

Have you met Jungkook yet? Jimin asks, his eyes closed but head turned towards Namjoon atop his paws. 

I don’t think so. What does he look like? 

He’s like Taehyung, likes to spend a lot of time in his wolf form. His wolf is black, an omega. He tends to be pretty quiet with new people, but I think he’ll like you. 

Namjoon flicks his tail anxiously. He wonders if…if Jimin is trying to set him up with an omega? But he wouldn’t do that, right? He said there were no expectations in regards to mating, especially in regards to which subgenders went together. Why do you say that? 

He’s a lot like you. You might have a lot to talk about. Perhaps he can assuage some of your worries. 

Namjoon doesn’t know what worries Jimin means. His lack of alpha qualities? His inability to befriend or even feel comfortable around other alphas? His fear that he’s brought his friends to a new pack that he has no idea if they’ll fit into? The list is so long, he doubts a single wolf could shorten it by any meaningful degree. 

Perhaps we will meet today, Namjoon replies. He’s not sure how much social energy he’s going to have today though, the remnants of his anxiety attack making his mind feel foggy and his body heavy. 

Are you ready to go back? We can walk. 

Namjoon agrees, stretching and shaking off his fur one last time. He’s not sure how Jimin manages to look so sleek and regal, even with damp fur. Namjoon feels like rainwater runoff, gritty and gray. 

As they walk back, Jimin notes various landmarks along the way. A berry patch here, a spot where butterflies tend to land there. And there, a tree that has an excellent spot to perch and watch birds, or to find his way if he loses the path. Namjoon isn’t sure if he’ll remember, but he tries to keep everything tucked away in his head so he doesn’t get lost. He doubts that he’ll be required to do patrols, but…he doesn’t entirely mind the task anymore. It gives him an opportunity to think, to get lost in his ideas and immerse himself in the world of poems in his head. 

When they reenter the camp, Namjoon glances around anxiously, but no one seems to pay them any additional mind. A few call greetings, but otherwise, everyone remains focused on their meals or their work. Namjoon sees Taehyung curled up beside Yoongi by one of the tents, but no sign of Hoseok or Seokjin. Maybe they went back to their cabin? He doesn’t know if he’s ready to explain what happened, though he’s sure they already understand to some degree. They’ve both always been better at concealing their feelings and managing their stress than Namjoon. It’s one of the best parts of their friendship; they’re able to be calm when he is not. 

Do you want to go find your friends? Jimin asks. I need to do a few things this morning, but we could have lunch together, if you’d like. There should still be some fruit and perhaps bread by the meal hut, if you’re hungry now. 

I’ll find Hoseok and Seokjin first and see if they got to eat. And I’d like to have lunch together, Namjoon says shyly. He doesn’t know if it’s just part of joining the pack, if Jimin offers this much attention to every wolf he adds, but it feels nice to be cared for. Usually, he’s been on the outskirts of meals, rarely invited to eat with anyone other than Seokjin or Hoseok, and both of them often had duties that kept them away from the primary meal times. It’s comforting to have an offer of companionship. 

That’s all it is, though, Namjoon reminds himself. He’s just being a good leader, making sure you get adjusted. It’s not him trying to…to make you feel special. 

Regardless of if that’s the case, it’s how it makes Namjoon feel.

Chapter Text

Jimin is so very, very enamored with Namjoon. 

He knew from all those months they met in the forest by the water that Namjoon was anxious. It was written in his skittish movements, his uncertain scent, the images of his poems. It was easy to see that he was not confident in his abilities or his place, but he was also eager to be helpful, to be useful in some way to his friends and his pack. Jimin privately thinks that might be why Namjoon was willing to tolerate the mistreatment for so long; he just desperately wanted to be good. 

Jimin did not entirely anticipate how on edge Namjoon would be about other parts of pack life, though. He is reluctant to make any sort of assertion on what tasks he would enjoy, saying only that he wants to be helpful. He’s skittish around the other alphas, though he hasn’t run away again, which Jimin counts as progress. Truthfully, there aren’t too many alphas in the pack anyway. It seems like alphas are the subgender most ensconced in traditional pack values, the ones that have the hardest time leaving that sort of life behind. But Jimin feels that means their alphas are especially strong, especially progressive, to be able to accept a more non-traditional pack and role. 

“I can’t believe you scared Namjoon away,” he tells Yoongi jokingly that second night. “You’re the tiniest alpha I’ve ever known, and I’ve never seen you be scary in my life.” 

Honestly, Yoongi isn’t much ‘tinier’ than Jimin, and he can definitely be scary, but Jimin likes to tease him anyway. He can certainly see how Yoongi might be intimidating with his gruff voice and his stoic features, but in truth, Yoongi is pretty good at welcoming new wolves. He doesn’t push the way Taehyung sometimes does. He lets them observe if they want, keeps his scent neutral, doesn’t nose around skittish omegas or wary betas and alphas. He’s a good teacher too, carefully showing cooking techniques or the best places to nap. 

“I told Taehyung it might be too soon to introduce him to a new alpha, based on what you’ve told me about him. But he insisted. You know how he gets excited to integrate new family members and all that,” Yoongi says. Jimin nods; he knows exactly how Taehyung is. Well-meaning as he is, he doesn’t always remember that many of the new wolves have recently experienced some level of trauma, often at the hands of alphas. “The other two are a bit less nervous. Seokjin will be a great help with meals; he’s already learning about the seasonings we use here and asking about foraging spots for vegetables.”

“I think they experienced less…suppression? Certainly, their pack leader sounds like an ass, but as betas, they were able to fly a bit more under the radar, I think. Namjoon, on the other hand…” Jimin trails off. He doesn’t want to reveal more than Namjoon is comfortable with him sharing, but he does think it’s important for the other wolves, especially the alphas, to recognize why he might be reluctant to accept them. 

“Agreed. It’s completely fine, I don’t take offense to it at all. None of us will. They all deserve to take their time. Have you had any luck finding something Namjoon connects with for his duties?” Yoongi asks. 

“Not yet. I was considering asking if he’d be interested in doing some sort of teaching, like showing the others how to write poems, or maybe…a book club? But that wouldn’t be his central task, and I think it’s best tabled for when he’s feeling a bit more settled here anyway. He also might do well to help with the pups. There are only a few, but I think pups help everyone let their guard down a bit,” Jimin suggests. 

Yoongi nods thoughtfully. “That might be perfect. I know those three are getting to be little troublemakers. I’m sure their parents would love a break now and then. There’s the school cabin building to consider too.” 

“I’ll discuss it with the parents first, see what would be most helpful. My other thought was having him start on some sort of pack record? Since we’re fairly new, we don’t have any sort of written history, and I think that will be important for the future. He likes to write, and even if that’s not particularly creative, it could be a start.” 

They toss around other ideas, trying to collect a number of duties for Namjoon to test out. Jimin wants to incorporate his writing somehow, to allow Namjoon the creative outlets he’s been denied for so long. He just isn’t sure the best way to do it. He doesn’t even know if Namjoon wants to have a creative duty, or if it’s something he prefers to keep more private, more of a hobby. Jimin can see him being good at plenty of things, so he wants to offer a variety of options. 

“I’m happy for him to help with the food, but I don’t want him to be uncomfortable,” Yoongi says. “Do you think it would be any better with Seokjin there?”

Jimin hums. “He was with him when you met before, so I’m not sure. Maybe if he was able to mentally prepare a bit more, and had a task to focus on, it would be okay. I think he said food isn’t really his element, so it probably wouldn’t be a good fit permanently anyway.” 

They settle on a foraging trip, working on some hut repairs, and the schoolhouse to begin with as options. Jimin offers to take the lead on showing Namjoon the ropes, and Yoongi chuckles. 

“What? I’m just being a good pack leader, making sure our new wolves settle in nicely,” Jimin defends. 

“Sure, because you were so active in every other wolf’s integration process,” Yoongi says dryly. 

“I was! Well…kind of. I delegated a bit, but that’s fine!” Jimin says grumpily. He knows he’s putting more energy into Namjoon than he has with other wolves, but that’s because it’s Namjoon. His beautiful gray poet. His sweet, shy alpha. 

When did Namjoon become yours? he wonders. He doesn’t often feel particularly possessive, but it seems that with Namjoon, he is just different in all kinds of new ways. He’s reluctant to actually do anything about it, especially seeing how anxious Namjoon is to fit in. He’s not sure that advances from the pack leader are going to make him feel any better. Jimin just hopes that Namjoon starts to recognize that he is welcomed here, that all of the wolves are ready to accept him as family and help him find his place. 

And after that…well, after that, maybe Jimin will be able to court him. 

He doesn’t want it to seem as though he just brought Namjoon to their pack for that reason. He doesn’t want Namjoon to feel indebted to him, or as though this is somehow part of the deal, like he has to be with Jimin in order to stay. He doesn’t know if that’s how Namjoon will see it, but he doesn’t want to have any doubts. He thinks Namjoon could feel the same way about him, if the glances and his anxious-pleased-curious scent are anything to go by. He doesn’t mention it though, doesn’t want Namjoon to feel more self-conscious about his lack of control over his scent than he surely already does. 

Instead of pushing, Jimin extends subtle gestures of care to Namjoon. Offers to have meals together, making sure that he always has enough food in his bowl, getting him second helpings because he knows Namjoon will never get them himself. He sits a little closer than he would with his friends, allowing his thigh to brush against Namjoon’s side. He’s still waiting to see Namjoon in human form, wonders when he’ll feel confident enough to shift. Wonders if Namjoon likes his human form. 

He does end up taking charge of teaching Namjoon each new potential duty as well. Even if it means he’s up earlier or later in order to attend to his own responsibilities. They focus mainly on foraging and gathering materials, since Namjoon can’t do the other tasks Jimin had in mind until he’s in human form. 

A few weeks after Namjoon’s arrival, though, Jimin still hasn’t seen him shift. He decides to go to Jungkook for help, knowing that the black wolf was all he saw of his younger packmate for weeks when he joined too. 

“Hi, Jungkookie,” he says as he approaches. Jungkook is working on a deer hide, making sure that each part of the animal is used. He’s one of their most skilled hunters, and Jimin appreciates his dedication to ensuring that prey is never just killed for the fun of it, but to be used for the betterment of the pack. Jimin is glad that there are wolves who don’t mind the messy work of making their prey into meals, because he prefers to be as far from that process as possible. 

“Hi, Jimin. Came to help?” Jungkook asks, knowing that the answer is no. 

“Came to ask you for help, actually,” Jimin replies, settling into a patch of sun near where Jungkook is working. 

“Help with what?” 

“You know Namjoon, right?”

“Your new wolf crush? Yes, we’ve met,” Jungkook says drily. Jimin crinkles his nose at him, but doesn’t correct the comment. It would be futile anyway; Jungkook has been around long enough to know that Namjoon is definitely getting special treatment in comparison with other new wolves. 

“Well…have you ever seen him shift to human form?” Jimin asks, trying to be casual. He’s fairly sure that Namjoon hasn’t shifted since he’s joined the pack, but if he has…if he has in front of one of the other wolves, Jimin will have a hard time not being jealous. He wants Namjoon to be comfortable, but he wants him to be comfortable around Jimin. And the rest of the pack, but especially around him. 

“No, not yet. But is that so strange?” Jungkook asks. 

Jimin chews on his lip. “It’s not, but…it just makes me a little worried that he’s not settling in, or that something is holding him back. I was just wondering…why did you first decide to shift back when you joined us?” 

Jungkook looks thoughtful. “I guess it was when I started to feel at home. When I realized that no one was going to try and force me to do anything, to be someone’s mate or breed me.” 

Jimin goes to Jungkook and wraps his arms around his belly, nestling his chin on his neck. “Sorry, Kook. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.” Jimin knows that a large part of why Jungkook was exiled from his pack was ‘omega insubordination’. Refusing to carry pups, or be what his pack considered a good omega. It took a long time for him to learn that being good just meant being respectful and kind to his packmates, nothing more. 

“It’s okay, it’s been a long time. I don’t mind talking about it. But I don’t think that’s why Namjoon hasn’t shifted yet. He’s an alpha, so that wouldn’t be what he’s worried about,” Jungkook says, leaning back into Jimin. 

“So why do you think he’s stayed in his wolf form?” Jimin asks. He has his theories, but he doesn’t know if any of them are right. He doesn’t want to ask Namjoon outright just yet either. It might make him feel like he’s doing something wrong, like he has to shift within a certain time frame. Jimin doesn’t want to pressure him; he just wants to make sure nothing is wrong. 

“Being a wolf is a bit simpler, isn’t it? It’s a little easier to conceal your stress, to just lean into your instincts instead of getting too caught up in human anxieties,” Jungkook posits. 

Jimin hums thoughtfully. That sounds about right. Namjoon is often caught up in his anxieties as a wolf anyway, so Jimin can imagine that it only gets worse as a human. 

“Also, if he feels the same way about you…I can see him being shy to shift,” Jungkook throws in casually. 

“What does that mean?” Jimin asks, lifting his head up to look at Jungkook. 

“Oh please, you know you’re pretty. He’s probably nervous,” Jungkook giggles. 

Jimin fights to keep the blush out of his cheeks, but he can’t win. Could that really be even the tiniest factor in Namjoon’s behavior? Is he nervous for Jimin to see what he looks like? 

“You’re just being a little shit,” Jimin tries to cover how flustered he is, but Jungkook definitely notices. He just smirks and continues with his work. 

“If you want me to talk to him, I can. I was going to go for a run later anyway, I’ll invite him to join me,” Jungkook says.

“You should go to that redwood section of the forest, I bet he’d like that.”

Jimin smiles at the image of Namjoon there. The redwoods are a work of art, and he’s sure they’ll inspire Namjoon. He’s not sure if he’s still been writing since he came to the pack. Jimin hasn’t seen him doing so, but he also doesn’t have any paper or writing utensils to offer Namjoon. There might be some buried in the run-down cabin they’re converting to a schoolhouse for the pups as they’re getting older. He’ll have to check. 

Jungkook does indeed invite Namjoon to go on his run with him, and they arrive back a few hours later. Jungkook shakes off, clearly damp from a post-run dunk in the river but pleased with his workout. Namjoon looks a bit worse for wear, and Jimin feels a little guilty. Maybe he should have warned Namjoon about how intense Jungkook can be with his runs. The redwoods also aren’t exactly close , and he didn’t think about whether it would be a strain for Namjoon to run that far. 

Quickly, Jimin shifts so he can check in with Namjoon and make sure he’s okay. 

How was the run? Did Kookie take you to the redwoods? 

It was…long. I didn’t realize we’d be going quite so far, so I think…I slowed him down a bit. But the redwoods were worth it, Namjoon replies. Even inside Jimin’s head, he still sounds a bit out of breath. Jimin approaches slowly, giving Namjoon the opportunity to back away, and when he doesn’t, nudges his nose against Namjoon’s neck. 

I’m sorry, I didn’t think about how far it was. 

It was your idea? Namjoon seems a bit surprised. 

The redwoods, yes. Jungkookie suggested going on a run together, and I thought you’d like to see them. They’re beautiful, and you appreciate beautiful things. 

I do. 

It takes all that Jimin has not to react to the way Namjoon smells when he says that. Like he’s not talking about nature at all. Like he’s talking about appreciating a beautiful person. When he’s looking right at Jimin and smelling so strong and interested. 

Even without a word from Jimin, Namjoon seems to realize he’s being a bit obvious and retreats a few steps. I’m going to check in with Hoseok and Seokjin before dinner. I…I’ll see you then? 

Okay. I’ll see you then. Maybe take a quick nap, Jimin suggests, not wanting Namjoon to be too exhausted. He still feels a little bad about sending Namjoon into Jungkook’s fitness-obsessed clutches without proper warning. 

Namjoon thunks his tail once in agreement before heading off to his cabin. Jimin had hoped that he might join the pack for co-sleeping at some point, but it seems like that’s another goal that’s further off than expected. It’s alright; Namjoon will make progress at his own rate. He seems content, his basic needs met (not in short because Jimin always serves him meals and refuses to let him pretend he’s not hungry for more when he’s worked hard all day). He is eager to learn new tasks and has slowly started to open up a bit around some of the other wolves. Of course, Taehyung is the fastest to wear him down. It’s often that way; it’s hard not to like Taehyung. Jimin just feels a tad more jealous about it than usual. 

After shifting back to human form and checking in with a few of the other pack members, Jimin goes to settle at the little circle they’ve made for meals. There are a few tables and carved seats for those that want to eat in human form, as well as some smoothed logs near the fire. Those that prefer to eat in wolf form usually opt to sit in one of the grassy patches or use the logs as a place to set their bowls. 

Jimin glances around, hoping to spot Namjoon when he emerges so he can get his bowl to fill. He’s not sure if it’s his beta instincts or something else, but he feels satisfied and warm when he sees Namjoon eating well from a bowl that he’s filled. He loves finding little ways to care for the alpha, but this has to be one of his favorites. 

As more and more of the pack filters out to eat, Jimin wonders if Namjoon took a longer nap than anticipated. He almost gets up to go check on him, not wanting him to miss an opportunity to eat (although Jimin would happily set aside a portion for him if he truly was too tired) when he smells Namjoon’s woodsy scent. He looks around for the gray fur, but the gray wolf is nowhere to be found, only a group of three men walking cautiously towards the clearing. 

Jimin’s mind takes a moment to catch up, but then he recognizes Hoseok’s sandalwood and Seokjin’s eucalyptus scent, their calming pheromones floating around the man in between them. The man…the man that is Namjoon. 

There are a few whispers, a few darted glances at the trio as they join the rest of the pack, but everyone thankfully seems to be on the same page about not making a huge deal over the three new wolves finally shifting. Jimin suspects that Seokjin and Hoseok may have shifted a few times already, to participate in their new duties more efficiently, but always went back to wolf form in solidarity with Namjoon. 

Remaining collected may be the greatest show of Jimin’s self restraint in history, because good lord, Namjoon is stunning. He has to completely throw away his theory about Namjoon being nervous to shift due to his appearance, because there is absolutely no logical way that can be the case. There is no way that a man who looks like that, with beautiful silvery-gray hair and broad shoulders and soft brown eyes can think he’s unattractive. 

Except…except Jimin thinks maybe he can, based on the way he tries to conceal himself between the two decidedly smaller betas and keeps his eyes lowered to the ground. His posture is anxious, his shoulders rolled forward and his fingers rubbing nervously together. Jimin sees exactly what Jungkook meant, about it being harder to conceal anxiety in human form. Sure, he could smell Namjoon in wolf form, could tell that he usually had an undercurrent of stressed energy, but he couldn’t see him picking at his cuticles or chewing the inside of his lip. He couldn’t see the changes in his posture or the attempts to hide himself behind other people. 

He also couldn’t see the way Namjoon blushes when he finally looks over and sees Jimin staring. 

Composing himself, Jimin gets up to take Namjoon’s bowl, gesturing for him to sit. 

“I’ll get your meal, you sit down. You’ve had a long day, your legs must be tired,” he tells Namjoon softly. Namjoon barely meets his eyes, but whispers a “thank you” before heading to sit in the spot Jimin had been waiting in. 

He joins Seokjin and Hoseok in line for meals, presenting Namjoon’s bowl first, and then his own. 

“Did you help with the meal today?” he asks Seokjin. 

“I did! Yoongi showed me how to forage for some new mushrooms, so we incorporated those into a sort of stir fry. I’ve never tasted anything like them. Who knew fungus could be delicious?” he giggles. 

“Ugh, don’t call it fungus, I don’t want to think about that while I’m eating,” Hoseok grumbles lightly. 

“But that’s what it is!” 

The two of them argue playfully as they walk back over towards Namjoon. Jimin thinks they make a cute pair, though he notices that they don’t have any sort of mating marks. He doubts that beta-beta pairings were encouraged in their pack. He’s heard a lot of different stories about the way betas are treated elsewhere from his packmates, and it often sounds more like servitude than truly being part of a pack. Since betas can breed omegas, Jimin would guess it more likely they’d be added to an alpha-omega pair rather than allowed to court whom they wish. 

“You two are cute together,” he remarks quietly, so just the three of them can hear. He’s not sure if it’s a misstep, but he wants them to know that here, it’s okay. If they want to be together, it’s more than okay. 

The two betas pause, staring at him intently, then glancing at one another. 

“Thanks,” Hoseok finally says. It’s simple, but not aggressive, not offended. His scent remains neutral, though Jimin has noticed that both betas seem to be experts at keeping their scents contained, no emotion or distress filtering through. He would hazard a guess that they both developed that skill for self-preservation in their old pack. 

When they sit down, Jimin is gratified to see that Seokjin’s hand rests on Hoseok’s thigh, a level of affection he hasn’t previously spotted even between their wolves. There’s been a careful distance between them most of the time, something strategized and practiced, something that tells him they’re very good at keeping up appearances. He wants them to let those walls down, and if letting them know that he thinks they’re a cute couple does the trick, he’ll happily remind them. 

Namjoon is twisting his hands together and looking far too stressed for Jimin’s liking. Almost without thinking, he starts to release calming pheromones as he sits down beside him. Hoseok and Seokjin exchange a brief glance of surprise. 

“Is this alright?” Jimin asks quietly. He doesn’t want Namjoon to feel like Jimin is subduing his emotions, just wants to provide comfort if he’ll allow it. 

“Yeah. I…I like your scent,” Namjoon admits, just as quiet. 

Happiness swells in Jimin’s chest and belly, infiltrating his scent before he can even think to stop it. Namjoon looks up in surprise at the shift, and Jimin feels himself blushing. He really didn’t know what he was getting himself into, wishing for the gray wolf to shift into a man. How is he ever going to get used to those eyes on him, that beautiful wash of fire-smoke-woodsy scent, the pink cheeks and shining hair? 

“I’m glad to hear it. I like your hair; I’ve never met a wolf with gray hair like that,” Jimin says. He wishes he could reach out and run his fingers through the short layers, admire the way the sun hits the strands and makes them almost shimmer. 

“Oh, my…my pack said it was a genetic defect,” Namjoon says. He sounds sad, ashamed. Jimin marvels at all the small slights Namjoon must have endured in that pack to make him believe that even his beautiful hair was something ugly, something to be ashamed of. 

“I’m not sure how anyone could call this a defect,” he tells him firmly. “I think it’s lovely, unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Now, Seokjin told me he helped cook the meal tonight, so eat well.” 

Though there is an undertone of uncertainty, Namjoon's scent shifts from sadness and anxiety to…something a bit more hopeful. Jimin will count that as a win. 

Jimin is overjoyed to be able to speak with Namjoon as they eat. Of course, they’ve had plenty of conversations as wolves, spoken about many topics, but there is a distinct pleasure to talking as men, being able to hear his voice aloud, being able to listen as Namjoon shyly details his run with Jungkook. Jimin is hopelessly endeared by the way Namjoon gets frustrated trying to put the glory of the redwoods into words. 

“They were just so…so utterly magnificent, dwarfing everything around them. I felt so wondrously small, and not in a bad way. Just in a…a way of being a tiny component in this enormous world. In a way that made it feel okay to be insignificant,” Namjoon rambles. Jimin smiles as he watches him go on about the way he tried and tried to see the tops of the trees, only to fail. He’ll have to go with Namjoon next time, experience this wonder together. 

Part of the pleasure of conversation is Namjoon’s voice alone. It’s hard to know exactly how someone will sound when you’ve only heard their wolf voice in your head, so Jimin wasn’t certain exactly how Namjoon’s voice would be. 

And it is spine-tingling. 

That’s the only way he can describe it. Though Namjoon often speaks quietly, as though trying not to disrupt anyone, when he gets excited, he grows louder and more animated. A few times, Jimin manages to make him laugh, and if he had his tail, it would be wagging wildly each time it happened. Namjoon’s voice is deep and rumbly, full of gravelly spots and Jimin adores it, but his laugh is kind of goofy, and Jimin adores that even more. 

So lost is he in Namjoon’s voice, he doesn’t even notice that he’s turned mostly to face Namjoon, nor how close their legs are on the log. He doesn’t notice that much of the pack has dispersed from the clearing, or that the sun is setting slowly behind them. He doesn’t notice Seokjin and Hoseok leaving, or the sly glances from Jungkook and Taehyung. 

Namjoon seems to notice all of these things at once, though, which jolts Jimin out of his reverie. Namjoon’s scent returns to anxiety as he glances around at the few wolves still milling around the fire, basking in the last rays of sunlight. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been blabbering away and keeping you here, I didn’t mean to…”

“Namjoon,” Jimin stops him immediately. “You haven’t at all. To be honest, this has been the best part of my day. I don’t want to embarrass you, but…I’m just so happy you felt comfortable enough to shift. Do you mind if I ask…what changed?” 

Jimin isn’t sure if it’s the wrong thing to ask, but he is curious. If Namjoon doesn’t want to tell him, that’s entirely fine, but he would love to know. If Jungkook had something to do with this…well, he’ll have to think of a way to thank him for giving Namjoon this boost of confidence. 

“I just…I wanted to be able to talk to you, and not just in my head. And…I wanted to show you that I do trust you, and the pack. I’m just not used to feeling…secure. And being in wolf form makes that easier. But tonight, I felt like it would be okay to shift,” Namjoon says. 

Jimin nods. It’s not much of an explanation, doesn’t tell him if Jungkook said or did something to help Namjoon, but he’ll take it. “I’m happy to hear you’re feeling safe here,” he tells him sincerely. “That is the most important thing to me.” 

Namjoon smiles a bit at that, and Jimin very much wants to say more things to make that happen more often. As it is, he settles for walking Namjoon back to his cabin, insisting on carrying his bowl all the way there. It’s a shallow excuse for walking together, and Jimin can admit it. He just wants another few moments with Namjoon. 

They stand a bit awkwardly together outside of the hut, Seokjin and Hoseok’s murmuring voices carrying out to them. Jimin wants desperately to hug Namjoon, to praise him for his bravery and scent him all over until he smells more like water lilies than campfires. As it is, he sets the bowls on the ground and reaches for Namjoon’s wrist. 

“Do you mind if I scent you? Just here?” Jimin presses lightly against Namjoon’s scent gland, relishing in the way that he shivers even from that small touch. 

“Okay,” Namjoon whispers. Jimin noses gently against his wrist first, and then presses his own wrist against Namjoon’s, letting their scents intermingle. He’s pleased with the way they combine, wishes he could spend much more time on making Namjoon smell this way. But he holds himself back, knows that it’s bordering on inappropriate, especially considering the way Namjoon’s scent is so obviously vacillating from pleased to sated to slightly aroused. 

Just from scenting his wrist, Jimin marvels. He would very much like to explore this further, but he knows that they have a long way to go, many conversations and learning about one another, before he can take that step in good conscience. 

“Goodnight, Namjoon,” he says, releasing his wrist. 

“Goodnight, Jimin,” Namjoon replies, looking a little dazed as he retreats into his cabin. 

Now that Namjoon is spending a bit more time in his human form, Jimin is having a crisis. 

His mind is suddenly flooded with ideas of dates, of hand holding, of… courtship . 

Traditionally, alphas are meant to court omegas, offering gifts and showing that they can provide for a mate, for future pups. The process can be lengthy, with many rituals and proceedings. Some wolves court for months, others for as long as a year before mating officially. Of course, there are plenty of ways to go about it, and sometimes young wolves do get lost to the pheromones and excitement, cutting the process short. 

But in Jimin’s pack, any subgender can start the courting process. So technically, Jimin could offer Namjoon a courting gift. He already does many of the things he’d do in an official courting for Namjoon. He brings him meals, sits beside him to eat, scents him whenever he’s given the opportunity. He compliments Namjoon as often as he’ll allow, reveling in the blush of his cheeks and neck. He finds ways to spend more time in his presence, even if it’s just to walk him from the fire to his hut in the evenings. 

If it were any other wolf, if the situation were different in a thousand tiny ways, Jimin probably would offer Namjoon a courting gift. He’s not sure what he’d choose exactly, but he would definitely find something perfect. 

But Namjoon is skittish, and since it’s only been a few months, he’s still finding his place in the pack. He’s not yet willing to remain in his human form for more than a few hours, and he still hasn’t determined exactly what sort of role will suit him best. He still gets quiet and anxious when one of the other alphas is around, and does his best to look small or hide behind one of his friends. 

Jimin needs to wait for him to make the first move, as much as he hates to admit it. But that doesn’t mean he can’t plan his own gifts in the meantime. He has plenty of ideas, lots of little things that he wants to offer Namjoon. Scented furs and clothes for him to wear when he’s in human form or for in the colder months. Carved sticks that he can use for writing in the dirt when he’s brainstorming his poems. Parchment or perhaps a bound journal for him to collect all those beautiful thoughts together. 

And when he has the most grand idea, a gift that Jimin desperately wants to give to Namjoon…well, he’s going to put a great deal of work into getting that surprise together by the time he’s able to properly court his perfect gray wolf. 

“So, let me get this straight. You, Jimin, the one who said he would never wait around for some alpha to court him…are waiting around for some alpha to court you?” Yoongi asks him one afternoon when Jimin is looking particularly mopey. Namjoon hadn’t been back for lunch, and Jimin had been looking forward to eating with him. Of course, he understands that they don’t have to eat every meal together. But he likes to check in, to see how Namjoon’s day is going. To feel his warmth and listen to him ramble about the bugs he saw on the path or the way he’s able to identify six new types of flowers. 

“I’m not waiting around for some alpha. You know Namjoon is different,” Jimin grouses. 

“An alpha is an alpha!” Taehyung chimes in from beside Yoongi. 

“You of all people should know that’s entirely untrue. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a subgender,” Jimin reprimands lightly. “It’s not about waiting for him because he’s an alpha. It’s about waiting for him to be ready for a courtship.” 

“We know, Min, just teasing you. I’ve never seen you interested in anyone, so it’s just new,” Yoongi says. Jimin considers that and supposes it’s true. Once he presented as a beta, he became less desirable in a lot of ways to other wolves. He doesn’t know if it was self-preservation or just actual disinterest that made him avoid any sort of romantic entanglements after that. He didn’t ever want to be with someone that thought he was somehow less because he was a beta. He didn’t want someone whose wolf wanted to subdue him or have some sort of power over him, especially if it was related to his subgender. He had his pack, and that was all he needed.  

“I know. Just…do you think I’m wrong? For waiting on him? He can be so shy, I don’t know if he’d even want to make the first move. But it feels like too much to try and court him right now?” Jimin asks, putting his thoughts into words for the first time. 

“You know him better than we do, Min. If you think this is what he needs, I’d trust your instinct,” Taehyung tells him gently. 

Jimin nods slowly. He does know Namjoon, though only pieces of him. Only the small glimpses he’s been allowed over these past months. But he thinks that those pieces are part of something beautiful, something he wants to continue putting together for as long as he can. There’s a certain satisfaction in getting to know someone over time, and realizing all at once that you know them now. Jimin feels a bit of that with Namjoon sometimes, like when he remembers he prefers the tart berries to the softer sweet ones, or when he sees a tiny school of minnows flashing under the water and knows how excited Namjoon will be to watch them. 

He decides that he’ll start with a small gesture, something adjacent to a courting gift, but not quite there, to see how Namjoon responds. He has just the thing in mind. 

“Namjoon, would you like to come take a look at the schoolhouse we’re building?” Jimin asks after breakfast a few days later. “I thought perhaps you’d enjoy helping to build it, going through the materials we’ve collected and seeing if there is anything missing that we should add.” 

Namjoon looks at him with wide eyes. He’s opted for his human form this morning, something that doesn’t happen often in the earlier hours, so Jimin thought it a perfect time to ask. While Namjoon can do many of the tasks they’d discussed in wolf form, this is one that he’ll need to have the dexterity of his hands for. “Me? I don’t have much experience with building, but I…I spent a lot of time in the schooling den of my old pack, so I might have some ideas there.” 

Jimin nods in satisfaction. “We have the bones of the cabin already, but since it was originally made as a home, it needs some changes. We only have a few pups now, but they’ll be old enough for some lessons in the next year or two. And who knows if there will be more one day?” 

Jimin enjoys having the pups around; they remind him of what it was like to be small and carefree and innocent. They will never know the hurts of the older wolves––Jimin will make sure of it. And part of doing so will be making sure they learn all about their pack, and how to behave respectfully towards all wolves. 

He leads Namjoon over to the small building at the side of their central space. Some of the larger spaces they use are part of the natural cave system near the clearing, but it seemed better to have an actual building for the schoolhouse, something that could have windows and shelving and light to make the lessons more enjoyable for the pups. They’ve started on the exterior already, gotten most of the basic building ready, but it still needs some work. 

“We’ve found a lot of the wood for the updates already, as you can see,” Jimin gestures to the pile of neatly stacked logs beside the structure. “We have the base and the walls pretty well done, but it still needs some roof patching and windows. We haven’t decided if it’s worthwhile to get actual windows and transport them here, or if figuring out an alternative would be best.” 

Namjoon nods along, looking very impressed with the progress they have so far. Jimin thinks it’s pretty amazing too, that they’ve been able to figure this out all on their own. Some of the wolves that joined the pack later had a bit of experience with construction, having lived in packs that preferred cabins to other structures. He’s grateful for all their knowledge, because he’s pretty sure the building would have just fallen right over if it were entirely up to him. 

“If you’d like to help, I’m sure that Hajoon and the others would teach you what you needed to know,” Jimin tells him. “There are a lot of smaller jobs involved, like making sure the wood is peeled and sanding it down so it’s not too sharp anywhere on the inside. But the part I thought you would like the most is inside.” 

He leads Namjoon into the little cabin. It feels a bit strange to be inside with parts of the roof missing. The floor is still a bit rough too, but he thinks once they put in some furniture and furs to cover it, the whole thing will look quite cozy. There’s one small shelf inside with books, all the ones that Jimin has managed to collect over the years, as well as some writing utensils and…

“There’s paper?” Namjoon asks softly. Jimin had tied the pieces of parchment together with a little bit of twine, making it look tidy and presentable. There isn’t too much, perhaps only twenty sheets or so, and many have small tears or worn spots, but it’s something. 

“There is. We’ll get more, of course, but I was able to put some together between a few of the other wolves,” Jimin tells him proudly. “I thought…I thought if you’d like to write anything, you could use some too?” 

“Oh, I couldn’t,” Namjoon says right away. Jimin feels his heart fall a bit; even though it’s not an official courting gift, he doesn’t want Namjoon to reject it. “It’s for the pups, I want them to have it.” 

“They won’t be old enough to use it for a while yet,” Jimin tells him. “Realistically, all they’d want to do is scribble on it or tear it up. I thought it would be better served for some lesson plans, or maybe…maybe some poems or stories they could read?” 

Namjoon chews on the inside of his lip. Jimin can tell he’s doing it, though he’s sure Namjoon thinks it’s a subtle way to release his anxieties. It might well be; other people probably don’t look at Namjoon quite as intently as Jimin does. 

“You want me to write poems?” Namjoon asks at last. 

Jimin nods. “Of course I do. Do you still want to?” 

Namjoon is quiet for a while, and Jimin worries that maybe Namjoon doesn’t want to write poems anymore. Maybe he’s lost the passion, or maybe he’s been under too much stress to even consider his past aspirations. But then Namjoon breaks his silence. 

“There’s nothing I want to do more,” he pauses, looking conflicted. “It’s just that…I don’t know if my poems are good enough to use to teach? And I…I haven’t had anything to write on in a long time, I’m probably rusty.” 

Jimin reaches instinctively for Namjoon’s hand, letting his scent wash over them, calming and gentle. “Of course they’re good enough, but if you aren’t comfortable, you don’t have to share them. I’d just love for the pups to learn about poems, about reading and writing as a source of joy. Most of us only learned for the sake of convenience, like being able to label things or read pack history or for visits to the human regions when we need supplies. Very few of us were taught or encouraged to do those things for enjoyment, and I can think of no one better to show our pups the magic of words.” 

Namjoon looks at their hands clasped together, his scent strong and wild and anxious. Jimin can tell that he’s itching to pick up the parchment, to feel it in his hands and cherish it. 

“You’re allowed to have good things, Namjoon. You’re allowed to have this,” he tells him softly. “I want you to have this. Even if it’s just for you.” 

He didn’t expect Namjoon to cry. Maybe to be anxious or conflicted about accepting the gift. But he didn’t anticipate the tears sliding down his cheeks as he picks up the packet of parchment. He didn’t expect the flood of sadness in his scent. 

“Why are you crying?” he asks him, concern and worry trying desperately to push their way into his scent. He doesn’t want to make Namjoon feel worse, but he can’t help his scent dampening a bit at the sight of his…of Namjoon crying. 

“I…I haven’t been given a gift like this in a long time,” Namjoon whispers. “And never since I presented as an alpha. It’s just…it’s overwhelming to feel like it might be okay to want this. Especially when it’s coming from you.” 

Jimin doesn’t know how to take that. Does he mean because Jimin is the pack leader, or just because he’s… Jimin? Either way, his instincts are screaming at him to comfort Namjoon, to soothe him in any way possible. He steps forward slowly, making sure not to startle him, and puts his arms around Namjoon’s waist. He can just reach the crook of his neck here, lightly running his nose across Namjoon’s scent gland. He hears the parchment flutter to the ground and Namjoon’s small whine, but he doesn’t release his hold. 

“It is okay. You can have anything you want,” he tells Namjoon softly. He hopes that Namjoon picks up on what he means by that; it’s not just the parchment, not just the poems, not just a place in the pack. He can have Jimin. He can have everything. 

When Jimin takes a small step back, Namjoon is looking down at him, eyes still damp from tears, cheeks pink, his scent jumping from worry to desire to confusion. It’s probably the closest they’ve ever been. Certainly closer than the light presses of thighs at meals or the brush of wrists outside of Namjoon’s hut before he goes to sleep or the passing of bodies in the water when they swim together. Jimin wouldn’t mind being this close all the time, wouldn’t mind looking at the pieces of Namjoon’s silvery hair falling into his eyes or the smoothness of his skin or the way his lower lip is a little pouty…

“You really want me to help with teaching the pups?” 

Jimin is shaken out of his daydreams about Namjoon’s mouth by the question. He thinks that might have been the point, since Namjoon seems to be having trouble actually making eye contact with him at such proximity. Actually, it seems like Namjoon might be looking at Jimin’s lips too. Jimin smiles a bit at that, but reminds himself that he’s not here to push Namjoon. Just to give him the opportunity, the validation, that if he does want to make a move…Jimin won’t be the one to step back. 

“Of course, if you’d like. You don’t have to, though. Like I said, you can just use the parchment for yourself, or not at all. I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to hide your poems away. It doesn’t have to be a secret. I’m sure plenty of the other wolves would love to read them, or to learn about poems in general,” Jimin tells him. 

Namjoon looks down at the parchment on the ground, finally stepping back to pick it up gingerly and replace it on the shelf. “I can’t take all of this, but…but I would love to have a few pieces. I’ll think of something good to share, and I’ll try to write down a few forms and ideas. Maybe…maybe it would be nice to have two versions, one for the pups and one for the adults, if anyone would like to learn?” 

Jimin sighs internally at the loss of contact, at the loss of the beautiful view of Namjoon’s features, but he lets it go. One day, he won’t be so shy, he thinks wistfully to himself. One day, you’ll be able to kiss him and hold his hand and listen to that voice reading poems in your nest together. 

“I’m sure there will be some takers. I’m excited to see what you come up with,” Jimin tells him. 

They talk a bit more, about the ideas Jimin and the other wolves have for the school cabin, about the items they might need to get on their next trip to one of the human towns. Namjoon tells Jimin about some of his favorite books and offers to let him borrow the one he brought. 

“I’m not sure these will be useful for the pups yet, but I love to read. I was always disappointed when I finished the last new book we had,” Jimin tells Namjoon. 

“Me too!” Namjoon says, the spark of joy Jimin loves seeing flickering in his eyes. “My pack…they didn’t really put much stock into reading, said it wasn’t a very useful skill. So we didn’t get books very often, especially because hardly any of the wolves were interested in them. But sometimes one of the betas in the traveling group would take pity on the few of us that did want books and bring some back. Those were the best days,” Namjoon recalls. 

Jimin’s heart hurts for that version of Namjoon. He can imagine him as just a pup, quietly asking one of the older wolves to bring back a book or two for him. He can imagine how it must have hurt to be denied something so small, so simple. He can imagine how years of similar denials built up these beliefs that Namjoon has now. That he can’t ask for what he wants. That he doesn’t deserve gentle words or a piece of paper to write on. That he shouldn’t want to write poems. 

 “Well, if you want something, all you have to do is ask,” Jimin tells him. “Or, if you’d like, you can go on the next trip to the village. It’s maybe a half day’s journey, so usually the group sleeps at an inn or finds a spot in the woods before coming back. You could pick your own books.” 

Namjoon looks awed at the suggestion. “Aren’t…aren’t books expensive? Wouldn’t it be more worthwhile to trade and buy other things?” 

Jimin shrugs. “Many towns have stores for used books, depending on where we visit. And we have plenty of goods to trade or sell, so it really wouldn’t be a problem.” 

Though Namjoon still looks conflicted, Jimin vows to himself to bring back a book for Namjoon at the earliest possible convenience. Maybe he should bring a few books and then he can use them as courting gifts…

Stop getting ahead of yourself. You know he’s not ready for a courtship, and he needs to make that choice before you start collecting gifts, Jimin tells himself. 

But it’s a near-impossible task to stop thinking of gifts to give Namjoon. At every turn, there’s something new that sparks an idea. He wants to give him one of the lip balms Taehyung created, to make sure that all his lip biting doesn’t cause him more pain. He wants to give him bound journals to write all his thoughts and poems down in, so he never forgets a single word. He wants to give him scented furs and clothes to make sure no one mistakes this alpha as available. 

He wants to give him everything. He just has to wait for Namjoon to be ready.

Chapter Text

Namjoon has discovered that joining a new pack can feel incredibly awkward. But he also finds that awkward is better than distressed, which is how he usually felt in his old pack. 

He’s constantly learning new things here, and while it can be a bit overwhelming and stressful, he’s also finding his place. And that is immensely satisfying. He does love learning, especially when he discovers something he’s good at. It feels like he’s snapping puzzle pieces into place, like he’s been trying to force the wrong corners together all along, and finally figured out what to do. 

He enjoys going with Hoseok and the other wolves that tend to the medical needs of the pack—Dojoon, Jieun, and Goeun—to search for plants and herbs needed to make their various poultices and medicines. Once he knows what to look for, he’s actually quite adept at spotting the right things and carefully collecting them in their satchels. It’s a peaceful routine, usually quiet and focused as they walk through the woods or along the stream. He enjoys being together, but also in their own little worlds. 

He also enjoys helping where he can with the small construction jobs and handiwork in the pack grounds. While he doesn’t have much experience with such things, he finds that he’s a fast learner. He can help with cutting wood into appropriately sized planks or repairing the sides of huts that have deteriorated over time from poor weather conditions. He can build simple shelves (after only one or two failed attempts) and he can even sew some very simple patches on worn clothing. 

But he is most excited to write again. 

It felt, at first, as though writing was something he would need to put on the back burner as he got acclimated to the pack. Truthfully, for the first few weeks, it wasn’t something he even had the capacity to think much about. He was in a constant state of anxiety, worrying that he would do something to make Jimin change his mind and ask them to leave. 

However, as he got adjusted, he felt that familiar itch in his brain, the one that made him want to draw out his claws and write words on any surface he could find, the one that insisted he pause and gaze at the flowers or the sky. He pushed it away, certain this was not the time. He needed to figure out how to fit into this pack, how to make himself valuable and worthy, before he could consider something as frivolous as poems. 

He didn’t realize that it was something Jimin wanted him to do. He didn’t know that any pack leader would ever encourage him to write, to teach the other wolves about poems and words and magic. 

He didn’t realize part of what Jimin likes about him is that he’s a poet. 

Something finally clicked that day in the half-finished school cabin for Namjoon. He’d known for some time that Jimin was not just another wolf, not just a pack leader he admired or someone that he enjoyed being around because of his kindness and patience. He’s made a few friends here and found all of the pack to be kind and patient. He doesn’t get anxious or jittery around any of them, doesn’t feel the intense desire to please and scent and be close. That only happens with Jimin. 

And after examining that feeling…Namjoon realizes he wants to court Jimin. 

The problem…well, actually there are several problems. The primary one being that Namjoon has no idea how to court a pack leader. Or really any wolf at all. It wasn’t something he was especially concerned with in his old pack, and his courtship of Seokjin and Hoseok was entirely a farce, mostly planned by the betas themselves. Namjoon never imagined that he would need to court another wolf. He wasn’t a desirable alpha, didn’t have very much to offer, so why would it matter? Why would he pay attention when other alphas started the courting process? He could kick his past self for such careless behavior. 

He tries asking Seokjin and Hoseok, but they just giggle at him. 

“Oh, Namjoonie, you have to figure out your courting gifts on your own,” Seokjin tells him. “We can’t tell you what to give him, it has to come from you.” 

Hoseok nods in agreement. “It’s important that you give something meaningful, but you need to decide what that is yourself. Maybe it would be good to talk to the other wolves here about any courting rituals they have, though?” 

That’s something to go on, at least. Namjoon goes to Jungkook next; the black wolf has been a good companion for him, just like Jimin said. Jungkook doesn’t mind Namjoon tagging along when he goes for runs, and he’s usually up for a swim or a trip to look at the redwoods again. He’s calm and quiet much of the time, but Namjoon has noticed him becoming more playful as they get closer. 

Jungkook? Um, I wanted to ask…are there any courting rituals the pack follows? Namjoon asks awkwardly after one of their runs. Namjoon always feels a bit out of shape in comparison to Jungkook, panting and ready to splay out all his paws by the end. Jungkook, on the other hand, hardly seems winded. 

Courting rituals? Like, for mates? Jungkook tilts his head at Namjoon. You know I’m not mated, right? 

Oh, I didn’t mean…I was just wondering in general! He doesn’t want Jungkook to feel uncomfortable. Namjoon does his best not to do anything to make him feel odd about spending time with an unmated alpha, and he worries for a moment that he’s made a misstep. But then Jungkook chuffs at him. 

I know you don’t mean me, it’s obvious that you’re head over tail for Minnie, he snorts. I just meant, I don’t really…I don’t have the same instincts as most of the other wolves. It’s part of why I left my pack. 

What do you mean? Namjoon asks, not understanding. Jungkook doesn’t have mating instincts? 

I don’t like sex, Jungkook says bluntly. Namjoon is glad he wasn’t drinking from the stream, or he might have choked. I never wanted pups, never wanted to fulfill my omegan duties, as they put it. It’s called being asexual, but I’m more gray-ace since I still like the romantic aspects. You know, cuddles and nesting. Kisses are okay too. 

Oh. I…I didn’t know that existed. But it makes a lot of sense. Namjoon thinks about how he hasn’t ever been inclined towards sex the way other alphas are, the way only Jimin has made him feel any sort of desire. And even that came after he formed a bond with Jimin. He wonders if maybe there’s a way to describe that sort of feeling too, but he’s a little too shy to ask. 

Most wolves don’t. I thought that…I thought that I was broken, a bad omega. Like, what kind of omega doesn’t want to be bred? We’re supposed to be made for it. But every time I went into heat…I felt like I was fighting my wolf. I didn’t like it, I didn’t want anyone near me, I’d snap and snarl and get so defensive of my nest. And when the pack alpha said that I had to mate, that I had to participate in the next mating chase or leave the pack…I had to leave. I couldn’t live that way. 

And then you found Jimin? Namjoon asks. He hates to think of his new friend feeling so trapped, forced to be something he’s not, to pretend or be exiled. He knows exactly what that’s like. 

I was alone for a little while. But yes, I found Jimin. And he and Tae and Yoongi are the ones that told me I wasn’t broken, that it’s normal to not want those things, even if I’m an omega, Jungkook says. He pads up closer to Namjoon, playfully nosing at his ear to catch his attention. Just like it’s normal for you to want things that aren’t considered traditional for an alpha. Tradition doesn’t mean truth. 

Namjoon noses back against Jungkook gratefully. Thanks, Kook. I know you’re right, but it helps to be reminded. 

Jungkook stretches out his limbs and then turns back to Namjoon. I bet Tae would have some courting ideas for you, but personally I would just say go with your instincts. What does Jimin love most? What would make him happy? 

Namjoon huffs. I feel bad asking Tae when I’ve been so distant with his mate. 

Don’t feel bad, he gets it. I’m sure you and Yoongi will be great friends once you get a little more comfortable. He’s a big softie. Gives me extra meat all the time at dinners if I look at him with sad puppy eyes. 

With a snort, Namjoon stands to stretch as well. Fine, I’ll ask. Are you ready to head back? 

Without a word, Jungkook takes off into the woods, Namjoon doing his best to keep up. 

He has to work up a bit of courage to ask Taehyung about courting rituals, but Jungkook was definitely right. Taehyung is full of ideas. 

“Oh, Namjoonie! Are you going to court someone?” Taehyung asks excitedly, and Namjoon resists the urge to shush him. They aren’t especially close to the center of the pack’s territory, so it’s doubtful anyone is around to hear, but he’s still nervous. They’ve been sent out to look for more berries and fruits to add to the food stores since most of their supply is getting low. 

“Well, I…I was thinking that I might try…or get something together in case…” Namjoon stumbles over his words. Jungkook had just immediately known Namjoon was asking about Jimin, but Taehyung didn’t mention Jimin by name, and Namjoon isn’t sure if he wants to put that out there if Taehyung doesn’t already know…

“Oh, don’t be silly, of course you’re asking about Jiminie!” Taehyung giggles. “Anyone can see you two tiptoeing around each other. We were just wondering who would give in first.” 

Namjoon breathes a sigh of relief. He still feels shy about expressing his feelings and thoughts, and he’s especially shy about maybe, possibly, perhaps considering the idea of courting Jimin. What if the pack doesn’t think that he’s worthy of their leader? What if they think it’s presumptuous of him to join the pack and only a few months later start courting someone? What if they think he only wants to be part of the pack to court Jimin? What if…

“Namjoonie, you’re making that worried face again. Do you think Jimin doesn’t want you to court him?” Taehyung asks quizzically. 

“I…I don’t know? I thought that was sort of the point of courting, to decide if you’re interested in one another?” Namjoon says. Isn’t that right? Maybe it isn’t. Courting in his pack…well, it was mostly just a courtesy of the alphas informing the omegas who they intended to mate. There wasn’t a lot of choice in the matter. Maybe more so for betas, but even then…

“Well, I suppose so. But usually, you already know. Or at least, your wolves know. I remember when Yoongi and I started courting…” Taehyung looks wistful. 

“Did he give you any courting gifts?” Namjoon asks. He thinks Taehyung would probably be easy to pick gifts for. He’s so happy with the smallest of things; a handful of berries in a nice bowl would please him. 

“He’s given me lots of gifts over the years, but my favorite was the first one. He was being so mysterious, spending a lot of time on his own, avoiding me, and I thought I’d done something wrong. But the truth was, he’d been sneaking away to work on this blanket he’d made. He sewed together pieces of old clothes we didn’t really wear anymore, lined the inside with fur, and made sure it was scented, every inch. It’s always in our den, and I can never get through my pre-heat without it.” 

“Oh. That’s so beautiful. He sewed together pieces of each of you into something warm and practical,” Namjoon murmurs. 

“That’s exactly it! I didn’t have an eloquent way to put it, but it just felt like…like he put so much thought into giving me something I could cherish, something that represented us. We’ve known each other our whole lives, so it seemed fitting to have something that displayed all those different phases,” Taehyung says. He smells content even talking about it, and that’s what Namjoon wants. He wants to give Jimin something that he’ll look back on years later and feel cherished. 

“So…do you have any ideas about what Jimin would want?” Namjoon asks. He hopes that Taehyung will have more concrete suggestions than Jungkook, and he’s not disappointed. 

“Oh, Jiminie doesn’t get gifts very often, so he’ll love anything you give him. He likes to keep his fur all shiny, so maybe one of the scented oils they keep in the medicine stores? They’re nice for when you’re needing a bit of extra comfort. Oh, or books! He likes to read, and we don’t have any books he hasn’t read already. Most of our copies aren’t in very good shape. Hmm…he likes lots of foods, but you said you don’t cook, right?” 

Taehyung rambles on for several minutes about all of the things Jimin likes. Some of them, Namjoon is proud to realize, he already knows. Others are entertaining surprises, like the fact that Jimin likes to lay in the flower field in his wolf form, waiting for butterflies to perch on his snout. Jimin likes silver jewelry, but he doesn’t often have occasion to wear it. He wears sweaters in the winter that some of the older wolves crocheted, even if they’re not very pretty and cover up his entire hands. 

Despite all the ideas, nothing feels exactly right to Namjoon. Nothing seems to encapsulate the emotions he feels towards Jimin, to represent the way he’d like to see them together. Nothing is enough, until Taehyung finally says, “You know, he also loves your poems.” 

Namjoon halts his berry picking at once to look at Taehyung. “My poems?”

Taehyung nods, popping three berries in his mouth and placing one in the basket. “He’s always going on about how much he wants more of them, how he wishes he could have an entire book of them to read.” 

“I…I didn’t know. I thought he was just being nice, you know. Encouraging me to pursue my interests,” Namjoon says. 

“I’m sure he does want you to do that, but why encourage you if you were no good?” Taehyung says. “Jiminie is nice, but he’s not very good at pretending. If he doesn’t like something, you’ll be able to tell.” 

“Really?” Namjoon asks. He tries to think of a time when Jimin seems to be lying or putting on a facade, but he can’t come up with much. A few times, he’s noticed Jimin trying to conceal his scent, but that seems more like…common courtesy? Or maybe just…shyness? It’s usually when he’s trying to make sure Namjoon is calm, like he doesn’t want to show his own worry. 

“Yeah, one time Yoongi tried to get experimental with dinner, added some weird seasoning to the meat, and I’m pretty sure Jimin spit it out on the ground,” Taehyung giggles. “Some of the other wolves tried to be nicer and just eat it, but it was pretty terrible. Or, once Jungkook needed a haircut, and I cut his bangs a little too short. Poor Jungkook asked Jimin how it looked and Jimin couldn’t stop giggling at him. He stayed in his wolf form for like two weeks while it grew out a bit.” 

Namjoon can’t imagine Jimin being purposefully mean, but he can definitely see him being blunt. Jimin has always been pretty clear-cut with him, always doing his best to assuage Namjoon’s worries and give him honest feedback. So he really has no choice but to believe that Jimin genuinely does love his poems. Which gives him an idea of his own. 

“Taehyung, what if…what if I gave Jimin a poem?” he asks. 

Taehyung squeaks excitedly, almost dropping his handful of berries. “Oh, that would be perfect! And so romantic too. He’s going to love it!” 

Namjoon isn’t exactly sure he can write a poem that’s good enough to communicate all his thoughts, all the ways that Jimin has made his life and him so much better. But he’s certainly going to try. 

Namjoon does his best to conserve the pieces of parchment he took for his final drafts. That means he’s spending a lot of time scribbling in patches of dirt or on fallen tree trunks. A lot of time lost in his head, letting words stumble over one another until he finds a phrasing or an image worth writing down. Several times he’s hurriedly wiped the work away when he hears someone coming, worried that Jimin will appear and ruin his own surprise, but usually it’s not even him at all. 

There are a lot of beautiful things in the world, flowers reaching for the sun and ripples of water in the wake of fish and traces of broken clouds in the sky after rainfall. Namjoon spends much of his time admiring these things, the mysteries and magic of the world around him. He’s spent more hours than he can count considering the best ways to describe the fragile life of an insect or the infinitesimal shifts in the air as the seasons change. 

Yet he thinks that all those words are nothing in comparison to the reality of Jimin. 

He’s set himself what may be an impossible task. Because while it was difficult to write the sensation of wind on skin, the glory of petals opening to sunshine for the first time in spring, the confusion of being an alpha and also a poet…it’s impossible to write the perfection that is Jimin. 

Namjoon has no idea how to put into words the way Jimin’s white fur feels like a guiding beacon, so bright and luminous, so dreamlike it took him months to realize such a wolf could even be real. 

He has no idea how to write the way Jimin’s voice can at once be so soft and gentle, yet so confident and clear. 

He has no idea how to write that the brush of Jimin’s wrist against his own, the first affectionate scenting he’s received from anyone besides Seokjin and Hoseok, felt simultaneously like sharp flames and gentle waves. 

He has no idea how to write that one white wolf could change the lives of an entire pack. 

He has no idea how to write that he’s only seen water lilies a few times, but they’ve quickly become his favorite flower, his favorite scent. 

He has no idea how to write that he’d never have found the courage to compose another poem if it weren’t for Jimin. 

He has no idea how to write that he is in a constant state of thoughts, anxieties, worries, stress…until he’s with Jimin, and then he’s able to actually stop. 

He has no idea how to write that his alpha has never been entirely at ease, never completely settled, not a single time since he presented, until he met Jimin. The first time his alpha ever felt peace was the first time Jimin touched him. 

But somehow, he has to try. He assigns himself the task of writing for at least a few moments each day, even if it’s just scraps of poems, a couple of words to remember for later. He does his best to engage with the world around him, to inspect each moment for hints of beauty that could represent Jimin. 

He doesn’t want anyone to ruin his surprise, so he keeps his plans a secret. He told Taehyung over and over that no one can know, that he must keep the plan under lock and key, even from Yoongi. He’s not sure if Taehyung will manage; he looked anxious at the thought of keeping anything from his mate, but he promised. Namjoon will just have to trust in his word. 

He does wish that he had someone to brainstorm with, to tell him whether the words are flowing nicely together or if they feel clunky. He thinks that poetry is meant to be shared, to be heard or read by others, to communicate messages that might otherwise go unsaid. But for Namjoon, poetry has always been something secret, something private, something he’s supposed to be ashamed of. It’s difficult to break out of that mindset.

It’s unlikely that any of the other wolves could help him anyway, Namjoon reasons. No one has ever been particularly interested in the workings of poetry besides Jimin, and he’s the last person Namjoon could go to with this. 

Really, his only option is Taehyung at the moment, so once he has a few lines that he finds acceptable, Namjoon tucks them away in a tree trunk and brings Taehyung there under the guise of collecting more fruit. 

“Do we really need more berries?” Taehyung asks, popping one into his mouth as they walk. 

“Yes, if you keep eating them all before we can store them,” Namjoon tells him. Taehyung giggles, smiling up at him. Namjoon has gotten more comfortable with the omega in these few months, able to actually tease him and treat him as a friend. It took him a little while to gain the confidence, but Taehyung was so consistently open and friendly, it was impossible not to fall into an easy friendship. 

Once they reach the spot where Namjoon has hidden his poem, he glances around, making sure no one else has thought to come here today. Taehyung notices and tilts his head in question. 

“Why are you being so weird?” he asks. 

“I want to show you something, but it’s a secret,” Namjoon tells him, pulling the parchment out from the tree. 

Taehyung perks up immediately. “Is that Jimin’s gift?” 

Namjoon nods. “Well, a draft of it. I’m not done yet, but I just…I’m having trouble deciding how to finish it, and if it’s any good at all. I thought maybe…you could read it and tell me what you think?” 

Taehyung plucks the parchment out of Namjoon’s hand before he can second guess his decision. “Of course, I’d love to! I don’t really know anything about poetry, but I am great with vibes.” 

Namjoon holds back a snort. He’s not sure if he asked for a vibe check , but it will have to do. Taehyung is one of Jimin’s closest friends, so surely he’ll know if the style and feel of the poem is right. 

While Taehyung is reading, Namjoon fiddles with his hands, not knowing where to look or what to do. He doesn’t want to just… stare at Taehyung, but he does want to see his reaction to the poem. But what if Taehyung is just hiding his response because he knows Namjoon is watching him? There doesn’t seem to be a good solution to his predicament, so he alternates between sneaking sly glances at Taehyung’s face and gazing at his cuticles. 

“Namjoon,” Taehyung finally says, looking up from the paper. Namjoon snaps his head up, searching Taehyung’s face for any clues, any evidence that the poem was enough, or terrible, or something. 

“Was it…was it alright?” he asks tentatively. 

“It’s stunning. He’s going to cry,” Taehyung says cheerily. 

“What? I don’t want him to cry! What should I change?” Namjoon says, already reaching for the parchment to scratch out whatever words are so offensive they might cause Jimin tears. 

“Joonie, it’s okay, I meant cry in a good way. Like it’s going to make him emotional,” Taehyung reassures him, holding the parchment out of reach until Namjoon stops looking like he might tear it into bits. Namjoon still feels uncertain; he’s not sure if that’s the response he’s looking for, but he understands what Taehyung means better now. It’s like when Jimin gave him the parchment; he felt so many emotions, the only way his body knew to respond was tears. 

“Are you sure that’s a good thing? I can edit it, make it less…something,” he says. 

“It’s definitely a good thing. Mimi doesn’t show his emotions enough. Or maybe he just hasn’t met someone that makes him feel enough yet,” Taehyung says. “You’re good for him. He talks all the time about not conforming to stereotypes, but I think that he still feels he has to have this sort of…strong demeanor as pack leader. Like he’s not supposed to be quite as soft as he is.” 

Namjoon hums; he can see that. He notices a lot of moments when Jimin seems soft, though. He loves that about him, loves that Jimin’s wolf sees fit to be soft with an alpha. Sees fit to be soft with him.  

“You really think it’s good?” Namjoon checks again. 

“I really do,” Taehyung says. “You have a gift, and I think he’s going to love that you’re using it to write about him.” 

Namjoon feels himself blush, though he tries to hide it by ducking his head and inspecting the parchment again. “I probably still need to edit it, add some more imagery and tighten up the language. It doesn’t feel perfect yet,” he says. 

Taehyung shrugs. “I didn’t notice anything glaring, but like I said, I’m not a poetry expert. All I can tell you is that it feels very romantic. I think it communicates your feelings well.”

Namjoon continues to fiddle with the phrasing and structure of his poem for the next couple weeks. He’s equally anxious about making it perfect and actually giving it to Jimin. He desperately wants to just sneak into his cabin and leave it there for Jimin to find, but that doesn’t seem like a very appropriate courting gesture. He’ll need to actually work up the courage to hand Jimin the poem. Maybe he needs to do something more grand than just that, though? Could he plan something like…like a date? Or at least somewhere private to offer his gift? He can’t fathom the horror of the whole pack looking on while he stumbles over his words, staring at his red cheeks and shaky hands.

No, that will not do, he decides. He has to figure out a way to get Jimin alone. Truthfully, they already spend a fair amount of time alone, but it’s always Jimin's doing. Somehow, he’ll end up at Namjoon’s side while he’s working on building a shelf for the school room or bundling together water reeds for the thatched roof repairs. Or Jimin will appear at Namjoon’s regular bathing time to help wash his fur. Or after a meal, Jimin will remain beside Namjoon, talking about their days and letting the fire keep them warm. 

After much thought, it seems most fitting for them to go to the spot they first met, the place where Namjoon has written so many pieces of poems and spent so many hours thinking about Jimin. 

Jimin had also mentioned the importance of that spot to the pack, how it seemed as though the water brought him wolves in need. Namjoon doesn’t know if the water had anything to do with him finding Jimin, but the sunny rocks and the edge of the forest still hold great significance. He still finds himself drawn there now and then when he’s looking for solace.

Solace. He thinks that’s exactly what Jimin is to him, one of the best words he can come up with. He’s the one that gives Namjoon courage, but also peace. He’s the one that has brought that for his entire pack, guiding so many lost wolves home. It makes this gift, this courting gesture, seem all the more important to Namjoon. Jimin deserves so much, the absolute best courting any wolf has ever seen. 

And while Namjoon knows little of courting or romance, he’s determined to learn enough to give Jimin exactly what he deserves. 

It takes some time, several more weeks of fiddling with the poem, writing and rewriting it onto the parchment, carefully scenting it (Namjoon will not admit that he tore two pieces of paper while trying to get his scent perfectly onto the page) and tying a small ribbon around the final product. He frets over the presentation of his gift too, skulking off with Taehyung several times to discuss. It probably looks suspicious, the two of them spending so much time together, though Yoongi never seems particularly bothered. Namjoon wonders if Taehyung slipped up and told him about the plan, or if Yoongi is just that secure in his mate’s loyalty. Maybe both of those things are true. Regardless, he’s glad that Yoongi doesn’t point it out. 

True to his statement about being good at vibes, Taehyung has lots of suggestions for setting up the little clearing for Namjoon’s big night. He suggests bringing some flowers, perhaps scattering them in the water or along the rocks where Namjoon and Jimin have sunbathed so often. Namjoon points out that by the time he got back to the clearing, the petals would certainly have floated or blown away. Taehyung huffs. 

“Well, I could stay and put them out when I hear you coming. We could have a signal!” he suggests. But Namjoon immediately shakes his head. 

“The whole point of coming here is so we have some privacy. I’m already nervous enough, I don’t need you giggling behind the trees,” he tells Taehyung. Taehyung pouts but they both know that’s exactly what he would do if given the chance. 

“Fine, so how about a bouquet?” 

That they can agree on, but it leads to an entire discussion of which flowers are most romantic, which are most reasonably attained in this area, and how they’re going to get them without anyone noticing. They settle on mountain grass, goldenrod, and camelias. It might seem like a strange mix, but Namjoon thinks they create a beautiful symmetry, both in shape and symbolism. 

“I know you want to keep everything a secret, but what if we ask Yoongi to help make a picnic for you?” Taehyung suggests. Namjoon hesitates; it would be nice to share a meal together, one that’s just for them, but he’s nervous to ask for Yoongi’s help. He’s gotten better at co-existing with the alpha, even exchanging a few words here and there, but he continues to feel a bit antsy in his presence. 

“I don’t know, Tae. I know he’s your mate, and I know he’s close with Jimin, but I feel guilty asking him to help when I’ve hardly been able to get to know him still,” Namjoon admits. 

Taehyung shakes his head. “He gets it, Joonie. He sees how good you are with the pack, with me and Jimin and even Kook. And you’re getting more comfortable with him, right?” 

Namjoon nods slowly. “Yeah, I don’t have that same instinct to run like I did in the beginning. It’s just…I feel awkward? Like, I don’t know how I’m supposed to be around another alpha?” 

“The same as you are with all of us. There isn’t a different way to be around people just because of their subgender, you know? You don’t have to defer to him or submit or whatever archaic bullshit traditional packs want you to believe. We all just treat each other with respect,” Taehyung says simply. 

Namjoon sighs. “I know you’re right, it just feels harder with alphas. Like I’m fighting my wolf in ways I don’t have to with betas or omegas. I hate it.” 

“Well, it takes time to rework habits and instincts like that. I think you’re doing great, and this would be a good step towards doing even better,” Taehyung says. 

Namjoon agrees with him, so even though it’s difficult, he steels himself to ask for Yoongi’s help. He knows it will be noticeable if he tries to get Yoongi alone, so he watches him carefully during the day, waiting for an opportunity. Yoongi is often with at least one other wolf, working on prepping ingredients for the evening meal or helping Jimin with…whatever it is those two do in their leadership meetings. Finally, Namjoon spots him sitting with Taehyung, who’s in wolf form, working on getting some knots out of his coat. 

Namjoon approaches slowly, making sure they see him coming. Taehyung thumps his tail slowly on the ground, his eyes soft and mouth open in a pant. Yoongi gazes at Namjoon quizzically, seeming slightly surprised but otherwise neutral to his approach. 

“Um…hi Yoongi, Tae,” Namjoon says awkwardly. 

“Hi, Namjoon. Is there something you need?” Yoongi asks. 

“Well, I…I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor?” Namjoon says nervously. He glances at Taehyung, who gives a small yip of encouragement. 

“What kind of favor?” Yoongi asks, looking between Taehyung and Namjoon with a bit of suspicion in his eyes. 

“Well…I’m not sure if Taehyung told you or not…I’m planning to ask Jimin if I can court him, and I wanted…I wanted to set up something special, out at the clearing where we met. And Taehyung suggested you might…might be able to help me pack a meal for us?” 

Yoongi hums thoughtfully. “Taehyung did not mention that specifically. But I’d be happy to help. Is there something you wanted to make?” 

Namjoon is honestly shocked that Yoongi agreed so easily. Namjoon had expected that he would need to explain, possibly even beg for the other alpha to consider assisting him. He hadn’t thought that it would just be a quick request and immediate delving into a conversation about food options. 

“Umm…well, I didn’t even know if you would agree, so I hadn’t quite thought that far,” Namjoon admits. 

“Why wouldn’t I want to help you? You’re my packmate, and Jimin is one of my best friends,” Yoongi says simply. 

Namjoon is a bit amazed by this simple logic. Sure, they’re packmates, but how can that hold any meaning when Namjoon has been so skittish around Yoongi? How can it mean that Yoongi accepts him so readily? How can Yoongi be so…good? 

“I just…I haven’t done much to be a good packmate to you,” Namjoon says quietly. Taehyung whines in protest at that, and Yoongi tilts his head at Namjoon. 

“I don’t think that’s true. You’ve made my pack leader and my mate very happy, and you work hard every day to be helpful to the pack in any way that you’re asked. Just because we don’t spend a lot of time together doesn’t mean we never will, and it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad packmate,” Yoongi pauses, seeming to consider his next words. “And you’ve stopped running away from me.” 

Taehyung barks a warning note at Yoongi, but Namjoon gives him a tentative smile. “I guess that’s true. So…so you’ll help me?” 

Yoongi nods. “I’ve eaten a lot of meals with Jimin, so I think I have a few ideas on what he’d like.” 

They chat for a few minutes about options, Taehyung keeping a clear lookout for anyone that might overhear. Though Yoongi initially suggests seafood, Namjoon’s crinkled nose suggests that it might not be the best option. 

“You don’t like fish?” Yoongi asks. 

“Not really. I mean, I’ll eat it, but it’s not my favorite. It’s a little better than hunting other prey, though. I just…I like to look at the fish swimming, and I don’t like thinking about how I’ve eaten their friends,” Namjoon mumbles. Yoongi keeps a straight face for a moment, but then he dissolves into giggles. 

“Alright, no fish. We could do a venison steak, and I could wrap up some baked potatoes to go with it. Those would probably travel pretty well too, even though it’s not too far,” Yoongi suggests. 

That sounds much better to Namjoon. “Do you…do you think we could do a dessert too? Something with berries? I know I don’t really contribute to the hunting, but Tae and I have gathered a lot of berries. It would feel good to know I helped gather the ingredients.” 

“Sure, I have a couple of recipes, but Jimin definitely likes the twist on a cake I made for his birthday a few years ago. It’s a no bake recipe, sort of like a cheesecake but lighter. Does that sound good?” Yoongi seems to already be considering what ingredients they have in the stores. 

“That sounds amazing. We never had anything like that in my old pack, desserts weren’t really a thing,” Namjoon says. He can’t even imagine anyone trying to make a cake of any sort; the alphas would say it was a waste of time and resources. 

“Interesting. Seokjin has certainly picked up on a lot of recipes quickly, especially with that in mind. Have you asked for his help?” Yoongi questions gently. 

Namjoon shakes his head. “No, he and Hoseok would be too loud and I don’t want them to ruin the surprise. Plus, you’re in charge of the food.” 

Yoongi smiles slightly. “I suppose that’s true, but I’m sure that he would be happy to help too, if you wanted to ask. He’s quite talented.” 

Namjoon bites his lip. He does feel a little guilty about keeping his friends in the dark about his plans, though he’s sure they suspect something is going on. It’s not as though he’s been very subtle about the way he feels for Jimin; it’s impossible to conceal emotions of that size, especially when he’s not used to having emotions like that at all. But he still hesitates to let yet another person in on his plan. If he tells Seokjin, he’ll most certainly have to tell Hoseok too. And he just wants to have a few moments of privacy, to keep this part of himself just for Jimin as much as he can. He knows that after the night he offers up his courting gift, it will become much more public knowledge. The whole pack will know within days, if not less. And he just wants there to be pieces of this feeling that are only his, even if it’s temporary. 

“I’ll think about it,” he tells Yoongi. “I was considering asking Jimin in a few days, at the half moon. Is that too soon?” 

Yoongi shakes his head. “Not at all. I can get some of the prep work done tonight or tomorrow, and just cook the steaks as an extra that afternoon. If anyone notices, I’ll say it’s for a date with Tae. I’ve done that before.” 

Taehyung gives a playful grumble, as if to say, not recently, you haven’t! Namjoon smirks at him; he knows very well that Taehyung is entirely spoiled by Yoongi and certainly doesn’t want for any treats or special treatment, regardless of his complaints. 

“That sounds perfect. I really appreciate you helping me,” Namjoon says. 

“Of course, I’m happy to. Any time,” Yoongi tells him. Namjoon just nods and makes his way back to the roof thatching, watching contentedly as Yoongi returns to detangling Taehyung’s fur. 

It should come as no surprise that Jimin appears at his side not long after he returns to work, but Namjoon still jumps when he sees him. 

“Were you talking to Yoongi? All by yourself?” Jimin asks him right away. 

“Um…yes? Is that okay?” Namjoon hedges. He knows Jimin isn’t upset, but he hadn’t realized he was hanging around to notice Namjoon’s abnormal behavior. 

“Of course it is, I’m just surprised. I didn’t know you two…talked,” Jimin says. He doesn’t sound suspicious; actually, he just sounds happy. Namjoon can’t help but breathe in Jimin’s slightly pleased scent, his own scent deepening in return. 

“We don’t really, but…but I want to keep trying. I like spending time with Tae, and I know logically he’d never pick a mate that’s dangerous. I’m just…working on settling the instincts that tell me otherwise,” Namjoon says, and he’s being honest. He’s just not offering the full conversation, the full scope of why he’s chosen now to work on his relationship with Yoongi. 

“I’m so proud of you, Joonie,” Jimin tells him, leaning against his side slightly to squeeze his arm.

Oh. He’s proud of me? Namjoon feels a little delirious at the compliment, like he might just start to vibrate with the pleased sensation of making his pack leader, his beta proud. His.  

Soon, he tells himself. Soon, you can call him yours, and it will actually be true. As long as he says yes. As long as you do everything right. 

“Thank you,” he tells Jimin. He recognizes the way his scent is swelling, the way it must be so obvious to Jimin and anyone in the general vicinity that he’s very much affected by Jimin’s words. Or just by Jimin in general. But he’s never been good at reigning that in, so he just lets it happen. Jimin doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest, breathing in the smoky scent like it’s the freshest air in the world. 

Maybe…maybe Yoongi will be able to help me with controlling my scent, after this, Namjoon thinks absently. But he’s not entirely sure he wants to when Jimin responds so well to it. 

The next few days pass in a swarm of anxiety and anticipation. Namjoon does his best to keep up the facade of his usual self, just working on the tasks he’s assigned, spending time with Taehyung and Jungkook, settling down for the evening with Seokjin and Hoseok. He almost wants to avoid Jimin, feels nervous that he’ll give something away in these final days before he can execute his plan, but that would also be too obvious. It would be nearly impossible at this point to go a day without Jimin anyway; he’s almost always at Namjoon’s side for mealtimes or checking in with him while he works. Even on the days that Jimin can’t actually stick around to work on the building or foraging or whatever Namjoon is assisting with, he pokes his head into the school room and shyly asks to scent Namjoon’s wrists before he heads out for the day. 

Namjoon manages to sneak off a few times that week to the clearing, checking that everything is in order, hiding a blanket and his poem and some extra stones and ribbon to keep everything in place around the edges of the little spot. He noses around the food prep area until Yoongi shoos him away, assuring him that everything will be ready when it’s time. He even shows Namjoon the little basket he’s prepared to place all the picnic items inside. 

“Go on, go write another poem or take Jungkook out for a run if you’re just going to be jittery,” Yoongi encourages. Namjoon doesn’t think that’s a bad idea, actually, so he goes off in search of Jungkook. 

As usual, Jungkook is in his wolf form out in one of the nearby clearings. He seems to be taking a break from moving stacks of firewood. Namjoon sets down his small bag of supplies, then shifts and nudges up against him with his snout. 

Want to go on a run? he asks. 

Always! Jungkook pushes playfully against Namjoon’s side. Want to race? 

Honestly, Namjoon normally wouldn’t take Jungkook up on a race. First of all, he knows he’s going to lose, and secondly, he doesn’t always have enough energy to even put up a good fight. But today, he’s full of nerves, so it seems like as good an idea as any. 

Sure, where are we racing to? 

Jungkook yips in excitement, twirling around in a quick circle before looking around. How about we race to that big stone, you know, the one by the wildflower field? 

Namjoon does, in fact, know this exact stone. He needs to visit the flower field anyway to pick out his bouquet for Jimin. Sounds perfect. Are you rea—

Go! 

Jungkook is off into the woods, Namjoon only realizing a baffled second later that the little sneak cheated. He’s already faster than Namjoon, and he still tricked him with a sudden start. 

He snatches his bag and races off after Jungkook, forgetting for a few minutes that he’s asking Jimin about courtship tonight, forgetting that this may be the biggest evening of his life. All he can think about is catching up to Jungkook and tackling him. 

Of course, Jungkook beats him far and away to the end point, and he’s strategically placed himself behind the rock so Namjoon can’t follow through on his plans to tackle him. 

I win! Jungkook barks happily, tongue lolling out from exertion. 

You cheated! Namjoon grumbles, panting hard. 

Did not! I’m just faster than you, Jungkook tells him cheerfully. 

Namjoon knows there will be no arguing with Jungkook about this, so he just flops down to catch his breath. Jungkook recovers much more quickly and starts nosing around the flower field. 

Are we going to pick flowers? he asks innocently. Namjoon eyes him suspiciously; he definitely had not disclosed that part of the plan to anyone besides Taehyung, but Jungkook often seems far more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for. 

I was planning to, he admits. 

For Jimin? 

Namjoon huffs. Honestly, can no one keep a secret around here? Yes, for Jimin. I…tonight, I’m going to give him a courting gift. 

Jungkook gives a happy yip, swishing his tail dramatically. Finally! 

You know I’m still older than you, do you have any respect? Namjoon grumbles. 

Nope, not when it comes to two dumb wolves finally getting it together instead of staring at each other with starry eyes, Jungkook quips. 

I do not…no one has starry eyes! Well, sometimes I think Jimin does, but that’s not because he’s looking at me… Namjoon trails off. He doesn’t know why he even bothers. Maybe because he feels kind of like Jungkook is a younger brother, so it’s easy for his wolf to lean into the teasing and silly dynamic they’ve developed. He didn’t have any siblings by blood, so this is all new to him. But he enjoys it, even if Jungkook makes him a little crazy sometimes. 

Whatever you say, Jungkook says. What kind of flowers are we looking for? 

Namjoon tells him the ones he and Taehyung decided on, and Jungkook nods. There are lots of mountain grass patches here, so that will be easy. The goldenrod too, we just have to find a good sunny part of the field. The camelias will probably take a little longer to find. Those grow on bushes, and they need more shade, but I think I’ve seen some around here. 

I didn’t know you were a flower expert. 

Jungkook tilts his head. I like flowers. They smell nice, and they’re good gifts. Jimin will like these. 

Who are you giving flowers to? Namjoon asks. He doesn’t expect the shy dip of Jungkook’s head. Sorry, you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal. I didn’t mean…

No, it’s okay. Um, remember how I said I’m not interested in a lot of the traditional parts of mating? The sexual parts? 

Namjoon nods. I remember. 

Well, I still…I still like some of the other parts, like the romantic, courtship parts. It’s just…most wolves, when they realize I don’t want to carry pups or have sex, they aren’t interested in me. And…and I don’t usually want to put myself in that position, because it hurts. 

Namjoon can’t help the way his scent sours in sympathy. I’m sorry, Kook. That’s terrible. You would be a wonderful mate. 

Jungkook thunks his tail once in thanks. I know I could be, but it would have to be the right match. And…I think that for me, that might mean more than one mate, which I know isn’t always something packs approve of. 

As they pad through the flower field, Namjoon considers this. His pack did have some wolves with multiple mates, but it was always the alphas collecting omegas like they were prizes. It never seemed like true love, like all their wolves were interconnected. It always seemed more centered on breeding, on power. 

I don’t think that’s wrong at all, Namjoon tells him. If your wolf connects with more than one person, it seems like…like fate, and that can’t be wrong. 

For me, I’ve always thought that having multiple mates would just feel right. It seems like…like I shouldn’t have to hold back from loving, and like one person might not always be able to provide for my needs, and vice versa. If my mate wanted a sexual component to our relationship, I wouldn’t be able to give them that, you know? Jungkook tries to explain. 

Something twinges in Namjoon’s brain at the explanation, some sense of it being not quite right. I see what you mean, but…but Kook, you know you’re enough as you are, right? You don’t have to offer sex, and a good partner would never make you feel that way. 

Jungkook giggles. You sound like Jimin. Yeah, I know. Sometimes, on a bad day, I forget, but I don’t feel like I’m somehow less worthy of a mate because I’m ace. I just also want to see my mate, or mates, satisfied in every way they want to be, so I’d be fine with mates that aren’t ace, you know? 

I know more now. I’m glad you told me. But you didn’t say, who have you been picking flowers for? Namjoon circles back to his original question. 

Well…there’s a really cute beta couple that I kinda like. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed the flowers yet, honestly. 

It takes Namjoon’s brain a few moments to connect the dots of Jungkook’s statement. A beta couple… holy shit. 

Are you talking about Hoseok and Seokjin? Namjoon whips around to stare at Jungkook. In his old pack, that movement would have been enough to startle an omega into cowering or backing away, but Jungkook just swishes his tail and flicks his ears. 

Yeah. I just…I like them a lot. Seokjinnie is so good at cooking, he feeds us all so well. And Hobi is really smart, he teaches me all kinds of new things about herbs and tending to both our wolves and our human bodies. I want to…I think I want to court them both. 

Namjoon doesn’t know what to do with that information. First of all, he’s never been entirely clear on what the relationship between Seokjin and Hoseok is. He knows there’s something there, but they’ve always been a bit cagey about what exactly that something is. He gets it, especially in the context of their old pack, but he hopes that they start to feel more comfortable exploring it here. And now, to hear that Jungkook might also become part of it? 

You smell confusing, Jungkook tells him. 

I am confused. It’s just a lot of information to take in, Namjoon admits. 

Do you…do you think it’s weird? Jungkook asks, and he sounds a lot less certain than a few moments ago. I know they’re your best friends, and there was some…some talk about maybe you courted them? 

Namjoon snorts. I guess that’s technically true, but it was just a way for us to get away from our pack. I’m not interested in them…like that. I don’t think it’s weird, it’s just new. They were never…our pack didn’t think much of betas, especially if they were together. So I’m not used to seeing them as a couple yet, I guess. 

Jungkook growls softly. They’re a beautiful couple. It makes me sad that they had to hide it. They still do that a lot, don’t they? 

Yeah. I don’t think they’ve ever explicitly told me they’re together. Maybe…maybe you’re the piece that they’ve needed all along? Namjoon theorizes. It makes a lot of sense, actually. There’s something about Jungkook that just inspires courage. Namjoon has felt it himself, found a way to explore and climb and wander more freely with Jungkook than he ever did on his own. 

I hope you’re right. I want them to be comfortable here. I want them to see that they can love whoever they want, no matter what it looks like. 

And if Namjoon had any lingering reservations or doubts, that statement certainly wins him over. Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s make some courting bouquets. 

After a meticulous flower selection process, Jungkook and Namjoon have three bouquets between them. Jungkook is definitely a flower expert, and any denial of such is immediately shut down by Namjoon. He knew exactly where to find all the wildflowers Namjoon wanted to include, as well as a few others for his own bouquets. Namjoon opted to shift into human form for more dexterity and let Jungkook guide him wherever he could find the best blossoms. Along with clothes, Namjoon also packed some ribbon in his bag, and there’s just enough for tying off all the flowers. 

Looking around, Namjoon considers where the best place for the bouquets will be. He doesn’t want them to get squished or blown away, but it’s far too risky to bring them along on their way back to the camp. Someone is sure to see and ask questions, and they’re much too close to the big moment for it all to be a waste. 

“Maybe…do you want to come drop off mine at the clearing? I don’t know if you want to give yours tonight or not. If you don’t, we can store them with mine too?” Namjoon asks. Jungkook barks, approaching to carefully take his bouquets in his jaws. Namjoon has to laugh at the sight of this big black wolf with a mouthful of flowers. 

“Do you mind if I stay in human form? It’s only about a fifteen minute walk. I just don’t want to squish these,” he asks Jungkook. Jungkook huffs around his flowers and starts to pad towards the river. 

“You know, I can carry yours too!” Namjoon calls after him, but Jungkook ignores the offer. “Stubborn wolf,” Namjoon mumbles fondly. 

They make their way through the woods towards the little clearing. Namjoon can hear the water as they approach, the soft gurgle of stones beneath the stream soothing to him already. He already knows just where he’s going to set his flowers, tucked into the hollow trunk of a tree with the rest of his supplies. He hopes they won’t wilt before tonight. If only he’d thought to bring a jar to tuck the stems in…but at least he has the blanket to wrap the base of the bouquet. 

Jungkook waits patiently as Namjoon fusses with his flowers, but finally gives a huff and nudges his hip with his snout. 

“Sorry, Kook. You want me to put yours here, or do you want to take them back with us?” 

Jungkook considers, then keeps the flowers in his mouth. Namjoon laughs. “Okay. I’ll shift back and then when we get there, I’ll make sure no one is watching and you can put them in your cabin, okay?” 

Jungkook wags his tail, appeased. With a final glance at the clearing, Namjoon shifts back to his wolf form. Want me to carry one? 

No, I’m good. Got a good grip on them this way, Jungkook assures him. They trot back towards the camp, not too fast, to avoid any damage to the flowers. When they arrive, Jungkook lingers in the trees while Namjoon checks for onlookers. A few wolves are working on dinner, focused on chopping potatoes and seasoning meat. The pups are over by the schoolhouse with their parents, checking out the progress. There’s no sign of Jimin, Hoseok, or Seokjin. 

Namjoon turns back towards the trees and gives a low whine, signaling Jungkook that the coast is clear. He keeps watch as Jungkook slinks towards his cabin and disappears inside. 

We did it! he says happily when Jungkook comes out, shaking off all the excitement of their secret mission. 

What did you do? 

Namjoon nearly yelps when Jimin appears out of thin air beside him. He was sure that he would be able to smell Jimin coming from a mile away at this point, given how attuned he is to Jimin’s scent, but he still manages to surprise him sometimes. It must be a beta thing. Or a pack leader thing. Maybe Jimin is the one that should teach Namjoon about how to control his scent better. 

I’ll let Namjoonie explain that to you, Jungkook replies slyly. I bet he’s got something to ask you, anyway. 

And with that, Jungkook flounces off, tail swinging and ears perked in amusement. 

He’s such a brat, Namjoon grumbles, trying to avoid Jimin’s pointed gaze. 

He certainly can be. But I would love to know what you two have been up to, Jimin replies. Do you really have something to ask me? 

And Namjoon does , of course he does. Of course he’s put off asking Jimin to have dinner with him until the last possible moment, and what if Jimin has other duties tonight? What if he can’t even come? What if he’s not hungry, or if he’s had a long day and wants to go to bed early? Namjoon should have given him more warning, should have given him an opportunity to plan for this evening instead of springing it on him at the last minute…

Namjoon? 

Sorry, I just…I do have something to ask you, I’m just a bit nervous. Do you…do you mind if we shift to talk? Namjoon doesn’t know why he makes that request; he can hold a conversation with Jimin either way, and he honestly thinks it might be easier without having to look at his very pretty lips or his sparkly eyes or his soft blonde hair. Fuck, Jungkook was right, I do look at him with starry eyes…

Of course. Did you want to go to my cabin? It might be a little quieter, more private. Can you just tell me if everything is okay? 

Yes, I’m okay. Just. Just anxious. I’d like to go to your cabin, please, if that’s okay, Namjoon tells him. 

Let’s go, then. Jimin leads him towards his cabin, one that’s just like all the others in the camp. Namjoon thinks vaguely about his old pack alpha, how he took the largest cave space all for himself. How different Jimin is, how he never puts his own needs or comfort above that of his pack, how the cave space is reserved for communal needs or pack sleeping. 

Namjoon quickly realizes that he left his bag behind, so he doesn’t have any clothes to change into in Jimin’s hut. While he’s more than used to some of the pack opting to go nude or mostly nude, he prefers some sort of covering for himself. Luckily, Jimin seems prepared for this, and holds out some clothes for him once he’s shifted. 

“I know you prefer clothes. These should fit, they’re a little big on me,” he says as he slips on his own pants and shirt. Namjoon is grateful that his beta knows him so well. 

Not yours. Not yet. 

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Jimin checks in again once Namjoon is dressed and settled on the ground across from him. 

“Yeah. I wanted to ask…if you’d like to have dinner with me tonight?” Namjoon hurries to say. 

Jimin tilts his head. “We usually have dinner together. Why were you nervous to ask me that?” 

Namjoon shakes his head. “I know, I meant…just us. I planned something on our own, out at the clearing by the river. Would you…would you have dinner with me there instead?” 

Jimin stares at him, surprised. “You planned dinner, just for us?” 

Namjoon nods. “Well…Yoongi helped me. I’m not that good at cooking. So it’s edible, I promise.” 

Jimin giggles at that. “I trust you. I’m just surprised, no one has ever planned a meal like that for me. Is there an occasion I don’t know about?” 

If Jimin is being coy or teasing, Namjoon can’t quite tell, so he just shakes his head. “No occasion, just…I’d like to spend time with you.” 

Jimin looks a bit more flustered by that comment, his cheeks and ears turning a little pink at the edges. “Okay. I’d like to spend time with you, too.” 

Namjoon contains the desire to wriggle in excitement at his success. One step closer to presenting Jimin with his gift, to knowing if Jimin will accept his courtship. He wishes he could fast forward a few hours so he’ll know the result, but he’s also too anxious to truly desire that. What if he says no? What if he doesn’t like the gift? 

“I have to finish up a few things and get ready, but we can go in about an hour, if that’s alright?” Jimin asks. Namjoon nods, still a bit shocked that Jimin agreed so easily to come with him. 

“I’ll meet you outside your cabin then, okay?” Jimin says. 

“Okay,” Namjoon replies. He almost wants to bow as he leaves Jimin’s cabin, but that would be weird. He needs to not be weird tonight of all nights. 

Once he’s back in his own cabin, he finds Hoseok curled up on the furs napping. He bounces over to him and gives him a gentle shake. 

“Hobiiii, wake up,” he says. 

“Mmmph,” Hoseok replies, rolling away from Namjoon. 

“I have news! You can sleep later,” Namjoon insists. 

“What is it?” Hoseok opens his eyes halfway and looks at Namjoon. 

“I’m having dinner with Jimin tonight,” Namjoon says.

“You have Jimin for dinner every night,” Hoseok says, still half asleep and more or less uncomprehending. 

“I would never have Jimin for dinner, you idiot. You’re not listening!” 

“You’re right, I’m not. I’m sleeping !”

“I’m going to ask to court him.”

That finally gets Hoseok’s attention and he rolls back over to face Namjoon. “You’re what? Have you told Jinnie?” 

Namjoon shakes his head. “I’m telling you. I just asked him if he’d have dinner with me out by the river, and he said yes! I have everything planned, I even got him a gift and flowers. Jungkook helped me,” Namjoon glances sideways at Hoseok to see if he reacts to the mention of the omega. He gets nothing. Which is honestly not surprising, given how good Hoseok and Seokjin are at concealing their emotions.

“Namjoonie, this is exciting! Why didn’t you say so?” Hoseok sits up, shaking off the last of his sleepiness and trying to flatten his hair. 

“I did say so but you were too busy sleeping,” Namjoon pouts a bit at him. 

“Fine, I’m sorry! I’ll never ignore you again! We have to tell Seokjin before you go,” Hoseok says. “Do you want me to go get him? We can help you get ready.” 

Namjoon nods; he does want them with him right now. It’s the best way for him to feel grounded before such a big moment. Hoseok scurries out of the hut to find Seokjin, and Namjoon glances at their small collection of clothes. Truthfully, he has no idea what the best thing to wear is, but he’s pretty pleased with wearing Jimin’s clothes right now. He likes the way Jimin’s scent clings to them, floating around him as though he’s just been scented thoroughly. 

Only moments later, Hoseok is back with Seokjin. “I hear you have news?” Seokjin says. “What’s going on?”

“I’m having dinner with Jimin, and asking to court him.” 

“You are?! Namjoonie, I’m so proud of you!” Seokjin wraps his arms around Namjoon and nearly knocks him to the ground. 

“Thanks, Seokjinnie,” he says fondly. 

“So, what do we need to do to get you ready?” Hoseok asks. 

“Well…Jimin gave me these clothes, so I’d kind of like to keep them. But maybe fixing my hair, and if…if we have any of those lip colors, I’d like to wear one of those,” he says shyly. 

“Oooh, you’re going to let us make you pretty tonight?” Seokjin says gleefully. Hoseok gives him a subtle kick, but Namjoon just blushes. 

“I want to look pretty for him,” he says softly. He can tell that both betas are moments away from cooing over him, so he turns away to rifle through their belongings for the crushed floral balm he knows is around here somewhere. 

“We can put it on your cheeks too, though I’m sure you’ll be blushing enough naturally not to need it,” Hoseok says when Namjoon finally finds what he’s looking for and hands it over. “What do you think about putting some oils on your cheeks instead? It will make you look kind of shimmery, and they smell nice too.” 

Namjoon considers, then nods. He doesn’t really get to look nice very often. He’s never had any sort of fancy clothes, never truly courted another wolf, never needed to be especially presentable. He’s never had the desire to look pretty for someone. But tonight, he wants to. 

“What do you want me to do with your hair?” Seokjin asks him. “It’s gotten a little longer, so I could put part of it up, do some little braids. Or I could put some wax in to hold it back off your forehead?” 

Namjoon usually just lets his hair flop into whatever position it wants to. Sometimes, he’ll use a headband or a hair tie if it’s getting in his eyes too much, but he thinks that’s too casual a look for his night with Jimin. Having his hair pushed back, though…that might work. He thinks that’s a more mature hairstyle anyway; perhaps a good contrast to the pretty lip color as well. 

“I think having it back off my forehead would look good,” he decides. 

“I’m on it!” Seokjin says, swooshing his hair up dramatically. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t let him mess up your hair,” Hoseok whispers to Namjoon. 

“I can hear you, you know,” Seokjin says drily. 

“Good, then you won’t mess up!” Hoseok tells him. 

Namjoon glances between them. They’ve always been a bit playful with one another, lots of bantering and teasing. He just never picked up on the more flirtatious undertones that he senses now. 

“Um…you guys know that you can talk to me, too, right?” he asks suddenly. 

Hoseok and Seokjin exchange looks. “What do you mean, Namjoonie?” Hoseok asks him carefully as he dabs a bit of oil onto his cheek. 

“Just…if you’re together, you can tell me. I won’t be upset, or weird, or whatever,” he mumbles the last bit, already getting embarrassed. What if Jungkook was wrong, and they aren’t actually a couple? What if they don’t want him to know? 

But both of them start to giggle at once. Confused, he looks between them, waiting for one of them to explain what’s so funny. 

“Oh, Joonie, we didn’t think we needed to say it. We figured you knew,” Seokjin tells him. “I mean, we never wanted to make you feel like a third wheel, so we’ve probably just toned it down a lot naturally in front of you. But yes, we’re together.”

“And we appreciate your support,” Hoseok adds through his giggles. 

Namjoon scowls at them. “How was I supposed to know if you never told me?!” 

“I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious. We’re always together, we scent each other constantly. I feel like you’ve seen us kiss on multiple occasions?” Seokjin starts to list. 

“I have not !” Namjoon exclaims. Well, maybe once or twice when they got a rare bottle of wine or spirits to share. But he figured they were just drunk? Friends sometimes kiss when they’re drunk? 

“Well, we can say it now. We’re together, and we’ll do a better job of kissing in front of you, how about that?” Seokjin offers. He starts to lean towards Hoseok, and Namjoon yelps. 

“You do not have to do that! I mean, if you want to, but just…not at this moment, please,” he amends. 

Hoseok laughs and turns so that Seokjin can kiss his cheek instead. “Let’s just focus on making Namjoonie pretty for his mate. ”

Namjoon certainly can’t argue with that logic, and apparently neither can Seokjin, because he goes back to styling Namjoon’s hair away from his face. He parts it to the side, letting just a few strands fall over Namjoon’s brow bones, with the rest held back by the hair wax. Hoseok pats a bit of pink glossy tint into Namjoon’s lips, and when he’s satisfied, he produces a little mirror from somewhere for Namjoon to take it all in. 

He hasn’t spent much time looking at himself, since he’s usually in wolf form by the water, and there aren’t really mirrors around. He tends to think of himself as average at best. Gray is boring, bland, of no great interest. He’s been told that his whole life. But somehow, with just a little bit of color and styling, he thinks he looks…

“Pretty,” he says softly. Hoseok and Seokjin nod in agreement. 

“We did well,” Seokjin says. Hoseok frowns at him, but Namjoon appreciates the way that his friend always keeps things lighthearted. It makes it harder for Namjoon to focus on his anxieties. 

“Are you ready?” Hoseok asks him. “Is there anything else we can do to help?” 

Namjoon shakes his head; they’ve already helped settle him and make him a little bit more presentable for his…for Jimin. “I think I’m good. Thanks, guys,” he says. 

When they step out of the hut, Jimin is already waiting for Namjoon. And if Namjoon looks pretty, well. Jimin looks breathtaking. Namjoon has no idea how he does it, no clue what he puts in his hair to make it look so soft and shiny, what mystery lies behind the plumpness of Jimin’s lips. He’s dressed just as casually as Namjoon, with loose pants and a flowy top, but he looks so ethereal. When he smiles at Namjoon, he almost scurries back into his cabin, almost decides to scrap the entire plan until he can properly breathe around a creature so beautiful, but Hoseok and Seokjin are blocking his escape route. He has no choice but to go to Jimin. 

“You look pretty,” is the first thing Jimin says to him, and Namjoon shivers a bit at the words. He thinks I’m pretty? 

“So do you,” he manages to reply. 

“Are you ready to go? Do you need to get anything?” Jimin asks, and Namjoon is glad for the reminder. His brain is so fuzzy, he probably would have forgotten to grab the basket of food from Yoongi. As it is, he sees Yoongi is already headed towards them, basket in hand. 

“For you,” he says, offering it to Namjoon. Namjoon nods gratefully, and he catches a glimpse of Yoongi’s smile as he heads back towards the food prep area. 

“This was it, I’m ready,” he tells Jimin, though he’s not entirely sure he is. He carries the basket in his outer hand, and Jimin immediately catches the hint, reaching out to hold his other hand. Namjoon wants to whine, wants to melt at the feeling of Jimin’s hand in his, but he forces himself to keep walking, to try and think of any conversational skills he has left to fill the quiet between them. 

“Where did you and Jungkook wander off to today?” Jimin asks curiously. “I thought it was going to have to do with your question, but I didn’t see Jungkook by the food today, so that can’t be it.”

Namjoon tenses; he’s not ready to reveal all of his surprises just yet, but he doesn’t want to lie to Jimin. “We just went for a run and talked a bit,” he says vaguely. 

Jimin hums. “And then decided to act very sneaky on your way back just for fun?” 

Namjoon nods and hopes Jimin buys it. He doesn’t think that he does, but he lets it drop for now. 

“What did you do today?” Namjoon asks, trying to steer the focus elsewhere. 

“Oh, I helped with some planning for our next trip to one of the human villages. We have to go through all of the stores, see what needs replacing. I also like to ask around the pack, see if anyone has specific requests for items we can’t get on our own out here,” Jimin explains. 

“What sort of items?” Namjoon asks. He was never involved with any of the village trips in his old pack, so he doesn’t really know much about how they worked. He does know, however, that it was not as simple as making a quick request to convince pack alpha to obtain special items. 

“It depends. Sometimes mates want to get each other a gift for an anniversary or birthday. Sometimes we get requests for things like books, or cloth, or sweet treats like candies. Someone requested that we bring back a toy car for one of the pups this time,” Jimin says. 

“That’s sweet,” Namjoon replies. He never had a toy like that as a pup. He thinks he might have liked having something like a doll or figurines, something he could have acted out the stories in his head with. Sometimes, one of the older wolves would carve something out of wood, but those figurines were often made more for display, with sharp edges and a high probability of splinters, so they didn’t make great toys for pups. 

“It is. You know, you can make a request too, if you’d like,” Jimin tells him off-handedly. Namjoon glances at him, but Jimin is just gazing ahead, no hint of his meaning on his face. 

“What would I request?” Namjoon asks. The only thing he can think of would be parchment and books, but he already has some of both of those. He couldn’t ask for more; not when the pack has plenty of other needs. Not when the pups deserve to have lovely toys. 

“Anything you want. It’s just a thought, something to keep in mind if you ever want anything,” Jimin says. Namjoon wonders if he’ll ever feel brave enough to make such a request. He can see himself perhaps asking for a gift for Jimin, if he agrees to be courted. But how would he keep it a surprise? Maybe Yoongi goes on the trips sometimes and could help him? Interesting, how you’re becoming more open to him, Namjoon thinks. 

They arrive at the little clearing after about twenty more minutes of walking. Namjoon pauses, realizing that he still needs to set up a few things for the scene to be perfect. “Do you…can you wait here for a minute? I just need to get one more thing ready,” he tells Jimin. Jimin agreeably settles himself against a tree just outside of the clearing, smiling up at Namjoon. 

“Sure, just let me know when you’re ready.” 

Namjoon hurries over to the tree where he left all his supplies. He carefully takes out the blanket and the flowers he wrapped inside first, pleased to see that they haven’t wilted much at all over the last few hours. He spreads the blanket out in front of the large rocks so they can lean back against them if they want, setting a few smaller stones on the corners so the blanket won’t be moved by the wind. He places the picnic basket in the center, peering inside to find each part of the meal carefully sealed in containers, along with bowls and silverware. There are even two squares of fabric that Namjoon can only assume are to be used as napkins. Good thinking, Yoongi. 

The final pieces are his gifts, and he’s uncertain whether to display them right away, or if he should wait until after the meal. He decides to compromise, keeping his rolled poem in the tree trunk while placing the flowers beside the basket. He hopes Jimin likes it. Honestly, if it all goes wrong, he can just leave the poem and pretend he was never going to offer it in the first place. But there’s a tiny tendril of hope inside of him that says it won’t go wrong. For the first time, he starts to believe that it might actually go right. 

“Okay, I’m ready,” he calls over to Jimin. He watches as his beta— fuck, why can’t he stop calling him that? —walks towards him, looking around at all the little details Namjoon has included for their evening. Namjoon is still standing beside the blanket, fidgeting anxiously with his hands and watching Jimin’s face intently. 

“Shall we sit?” Jimin asks him gently, and Namjoon nods. 

“You really planned all this for me?” Jimin asks him as they settle onto the blanket. 

“Yes,” Namjoon breathes. “I…I wanted to do something special for you, something for just us to spend time together.”

“Why?” Jimin asks, and Namjoon could swear there’s a hint of teasing in his voice now. But he does his best to stay brave, to start putting his thoughts into words as well as he can. 

“I wanted you to know how much you’ve come to mean to me. Not just for taking me and Hobi and Seokjin into your pack, but for…for making me feel like I belong somewhere. Like I can be soft and shy and…and a poet, and it doesn’t make me less of an alpha. Like I’m not wrong for simply existing.”

“Joonie,” Jimin breathes. But Namjoon is determined to say it all now that he’s started. He doesn’t know if he can get through an entire meal with this confession, this request hanging over his head. He has to do it now. 

“I didn’t think I would ever find a wolf that wanted me to be a poet. It wasn’t something I had even dared to imagine. How could there be a wolf in this world that would want an alpha like me, an alpha that’s learned so many broken traditions and would rather use his claws for writing in the dirt instead of hunting? I didn’t think it mattered to me, not really. I just wanted to be good in some way. And if that meant pretending not to want everything I cared about, if it meant useless border patrols and kneeling in submission for the rest of my life, I was ready to do it. 

And then I saw you. This beautiful white wolf, luminous and wise, everything that I’m not. You looked like something I might have imagined, a wolf dropped down from the clouds, a wolf so ethereal he couldn’t be real. I didn’t believe that you were real, not for a long time. And when I discovered you were, when I was actually able to talk to you…I had to come to terms with it all over again. Because how could it be possible for a wolf and a pack like yours to exist?”

Jimin is already looking close to tears, and Namjoon hopes that Taehyung is right, and that he’s going to cry only good tears, because he has to keep going. He has to explain to Jimin everything he’s done for Namjoon, every reason he wants to stay by his side, to court him. 

“You have taught me so much in only a short time. So much that’s incredibly important about who I can be and what I can accomplish. But I’m also finding that I am capable of falling for someone. And I hope that he’s capable of falling for me too, even though I still have a lot to learn. So I wanted to ask…” Namjoon reaches for the poem, offering it to Jimin with shaky hands. “If you’ll accept my courtship.” 

Jimin takes the poem from him almost reverently, untying the little ribbon and unrolling the parchment. “You wrote me a poem?” he asks. Namjoon just nods, waiting for him to read. 

every time i read about love

it was written in intangible metaphor

stardust, sunrise, supernova.

i grew to believe in that truth; affection 

as something abstract, a constellation

i’m meant only to long for. 

i gaze into the sky, wishing, alone. 

as often as i dreamt, i could never

conjure a companion in the stars.

each moonrise became dimmer

as hope faded from my eyes. 

the clouds must have taken pity 

on me, water vapor tumbling 

down to earth & forming a white wolf,

gazing across the river at me. 

my longing grew legs, a snout, teeth

that did not snap but spoke 

kindly. my loneliness faded 

with each gentle glance. 

are you lupus, made from stars?

are you human, glowing nebula? 

are you everything that has been transcribed

about love, affection, home? 

will you walk beside me

until i find the unwritten words for you?

Taehyung was entirely right, because by the time Jimin reaches the end tears are gliding down his cheeks. He looks up at Namjoon, and Jungkook was entirely right too, because they are definitely making starry eyes at each other. 

“I accept,” Jimin whispers. 

And then he climbs right into Namjoon’s lap and kisses him.

Chapter Text

Jimin finds that patience results in great rewards. 

It’s a lesson he’s learned many times over his life, but this past year or so especially.

When he saw Namjoon for the first time, his wolf knew that Namjoon was skittish, that he couldn’t just brashly bound forth and offer him salvation. No, he had to sit, tail curled around himself, the picture of poise. He had to wait.

When he never knew the next time he would see the mysterious gray wolf, he had to wait. 

When he explained that alphas don’t have to fit a certain mold, but Namjoon still chose to go back to his pack, he had to wait.

When they finally made a plan to get Namjoon out and he didn’t see his gray wolf for weeks, he had to wait. 

Still, Jimin has never exercised more patience than while waiting for Namjoon to offer his courtship. He has been itching to shower the shy wolf in gifts, yearning to groom his beautiful fur and snuggle close to him, but it was far too risky. Instead, he had to contain his instincts and allow Namjoon to come to him. 

So Jimin thinks, after all that patience, he can be forgiven for kissing Namjoon the very second he gets the chance. 

His alpha ( really his now) freezes beneath him at first, startled by a lap full of Jimin, but then he feels Namjoon’s hands go tentatively around his waist. He would love to see how Namjoon responds to the pressure of Jimin’s hips against his own, the probe of his tongue against lips, but he pauses after only a few kisses. 

“Is this okay?” he asks, his mouth mere inches from Namjoon’s, just far enough away so he can look into the alpha’s eyes and assess his answer. 

“Yeah, just…surprised. And I…” Namjoon glances down, looking anxious. 

“And what?” Jimin asks softly. “If you’re not comfortable, I can—” he starts to slide off Namjoon’s lap, but finds he is being gripped more tightly at the waist. 

“It’s just…I haven’t really kissed anyone before,” Namjoon admits. Jimin is certain he would whine in embarrassment if he were in wolf form. 

“That’s okay, it’s easy,” Jimin encourages him. 

“Just…wanna be good,” Namjoon mumbles. 

Jimin does his best not to wiggle with endearment in Namjoon’s lap. Why is he so cute? 

“You are,” Jimin assures him. 

Namjoons still looks nervous, but his eyes continue to wander to Jimin’s lips, like he can’t help himself. The same way he couldn’t help but hold onto Jimin, keeping him squarely in his lap. The same way he can’t control his scent, the way it’s thick and enveloping them both. 

Jimin leans forward again, pressing his lips to Namjoon’s ever so gently. He wants to memorize the way Namjoon’s mouth feels at this moment, the way his lips are almost equally plush, with just a bit more swell to the lower one. He wants to remember the soft sighs Namjoon lets out as Jimin kisses him, the way Namjoon’s hands tentatively wrap around his waist, his neck. 

Jimin is less shy about letting his hands explore, running them through Namjoon’s hair, gripping onto the base of his neck to hold him where he wants. He can feel the muscles of Namjoon’s shoulders, the breadth of him so entrancing beneath Jimin. He could comfortably sit in Namjoon’s lap for hours, feeling small and held in the best way. He normally prefers to feel strong and in control, but there’s something about Namjoon that allows him to settle into the role of being smaller. 

Slowly, not wanting to spook him, Jimin licks against Namjoon’s mouth, testing. Namjoon instinctively opens his lips, letting Jimin taste him. Jimin thinks he’s probably losing control of his own scent when he feels Namjoon’s tongue against his, softly meeting. 

I want to devour him, Jimin thinks, and he doesn’t know if that’s more him or his wolf talking. Maybe both. Every part of Jimin wants Namjoon, wants to be pressed this close to him at every moment. He doesn’t want to go back to the small brushes of hands, the careful, polite distance they’ve kept thus far. He wants to press his scent into every inch of Namjoon’s skin, wants to wear the musk of mahogany and smoke proudly on his own skin. 

He finds himself trying to do exactly that, breaking away from Namjoon’s mouth to kiss his jaw, biting gently at his neck, rubbing his own scent gland against Namjoon’s. 

“Ji-Jimin, feels…” Namjoon doesn’t seem capable of forming coherent words, nothing like his eloquence on the page. Jimin loves it, loves knowing that he’s the cause of Namjoon losing his composure. He wants to always be able to break Namjoon out of his head, to get that big brain to do something other than worry and stress. 

“Feels what, Namjoonie?” he teases, breathing in Namjoon’s pleased scent right from the source. He has never wanted anyone’s scent so desperately, never felt even a hint of the itch to bite. He won’t, of course he won’t, but one day…he wants to leave his mark right here. Right on Namjoon’s pretty skin, where everyone can see. Jimin’s alpha. 

“Feels good,” Namjoon manages. 

Jimin hums, licking softly at Namjoon’s scent gland, feeling almost drunk on the way the alpha smells. Namjoon’s grip on Jimin has only tightened, and he’s unconsciously pressing Jimin down against his hips. Jimin can certainly tell it feels good for Namjoon, even if he couldn’t smell him, even if he hadn’t said so. He debates for a moment on whether to tease the alpha, torn as to whether he’d just whine cutely or if he’d be truly embarrassed. But there’s no resisting the temptation in the end.

“I can feel that, baby,” he says, grinding his hips down ever so slightly to meet Namjoon’s. Namjoon does whine cutely, trying to turn his head away from Jimin, but he doesn’t push him away, doesn’t try to move Jimin out of his lap. “It’s okay, I like knowing that you feel good, even just from a few kisses.” 

And really, a few kisses is all Jimin intends to happen today. He wants more, wants everything with Namjoon, but he wants it when the alpha is ready, when they have the time and the space for Jimin to really take his time. He wants to get his mouth on every inch of skin, wants to taste Namjoon’s sweat and cum and moans, wants to make him feel all the pleasure he deserves. 

But a few kisses just doesn’t seem like enough, so it turns into many, many kisses on every part of Namjoon he can reach. When he senses the alpha getting too overwhelmed to kiss him back, he moves to his neck, his jaw, his cheeks and nose. Jimin is overwhelmed too, but perhaps in the opposite way from Namjoon. He’s overwhelmed by his need to caress and kiss and worship every piece of his alpha. Overwhelmed by the need to show him how much he adores him. Overwhelmed by his desire to give him all the love he’s been missing. 

Eventually, Jimin manages to drag himself out of the scent-induced haze, looking down at Namjoon. He’s gone very pliant beneath Jimin, accepting every kiss and touch with the gentlest reciprocation. His pheromones are spiking between contentment and desire.

“I told you that you’d be good. Fuck, I don’t ever want to stop. But you planned this nice dinner for us, we should eat,” Jimin says. Namjoon nods dazedly, finally allowing Jimin to slide out of his lap. He doesn’t go far, keeping himself close to Namjoon’s side while he pulls the food closer to them. He takes out the plates and utensils, then the containers with the food. 

“Um, Yoongi made everything, but I helped pick what he made. And I gathered the berries for dessert!” Namjoon says. 

“You did well,” Jimin assures him. “I love his steaks, and he always makes the best potatoes. I don’t know how he always bakes them to the perfect softness.” 

“Probably magic,” Namjoon mumbles. 

Jimin giggles. “Just because you don’t cook doesn’t mean that it’s magic, baby. I think Yoongi would actually consider it closer to science.” 

He doesn’t fail to notice the way the alpha’s scent spikes when he’s called baby. 

They eat the meal quietly, not having realized how hungry they were. Jimin loves watching Namjoon eat well; it pleases him to no end, knowing that his alpha is fed and sated. It doesn’t even matter that Jimin didn’t make the meal, didn’t even plan it. He just likes knowing Namjoon is happy. 

“Is it good?” Namjoon asks him nervously. “Yoongi said you like seafood more, but I…I don’t really like it, and I wanted us to be able to eat together. I guess I could have asked him to make two different meals, but that seemed like too much, and—”

“Namjoon, it’s okay. I love it, it’s delicious. I don’t mind not having seafood, and I’d much rather you be able to enjoy the meal with me,” Jimin tells him softly. And it’s true. He doesn’t mind what they’re eating; it could be a bowl of grass for all he cares. He’s just happy to have this evening for themselves, to see Namjoon eat well. 

“Okay,” Namjoon says tentatively, peeking at Jimin’s empty dish. “Are you ready for dessert?” 

Jimin nods enthusiastically; he saw the little containers of cake and berries, which he loves. He wishes they had whipped cream so he could tease and put it on Namjoon’s nose. Or maybe on his lips, and then he could lick some up with each bite…

No, you need to focus on how sweet it was for him to plan this, not how much you want to kiss him again, even if that would also be sweet, Jimin reprimands himself. He’s not sure why a few kisses have caused him to lose all the self-control he’s exhibited over these last months getting to know Namjoon. Logically, he’s very aware that Namjoon might want to take their courtship slowly. He’s never even kissed anyone, let alone truly courted someone. It’s possible, likely even, that he will want to do things properly. Slowly. 

Namjoon carefully puts their plates into the basket and sets the desserts in front of them. He seems proud of this part, and Jimin can imagine his wolf is pleased at having helped collect these berries. 

“It looks good, alpha,” he says carefully, watching Namjoon’s response. He’s not sure if he’ll like being called alpha or not, and he’ll refrain from saying it at all if Namjoon wants him to. 

But instead, Namjoon’s cheeks get pink, and he almost fumbles the bite of cake he’s scooped out of the dish. Jimin smiles softly at him. He’s so easy to fluster; it’s going to be hard not to tease him all the time. 

The cake is delicious, one of Yoongi’s best. Jimin is sure he put a little extra something into making it, knowing what Namjoon was planning. He’ll have to remember to thank his friend. And maybe ask for some whipped cream next time. 

Once they finish their meal, Jimin resists the urge to climb back into Namjoon’s lap, settling instead for curling against his side. Namjoon cautiously puts his arms around Jimin, and he sighs contentedly. 

“I’m proud of you, you know?” Jimin says. He doesn’t know if proud does justice to the way he feels, but he’s not as good with words as Namjoon. 

“Why?” Namjoon asks, surprised. 

“You’ve changed your whole life in the span of hardly a year,” Jimin tells him. “You met a wolf from a different pack, befriended him, found the courage to leave behind everything you’ve known. And then you found your place here.” 

“I don’t know if I’ve really found my place yet,” Namjoon says honestly. 

“You have. It’s with me,” Jimin says firmly. 

As much as Jimin would like to spend all night with Namjoon in their little bubble, he knows they have to go back eventually. He definitely steals a few more kisses first, though. 

“Would you like to announce that you’ll be courting me?” Jimin asks him as they walk back towards the pack grounds. It’s traditional for courtships to be announced in some way, both so that other wolves don’t attempt to court the same wolf and so the pack can support the courtship in the ways they see fit. With a pack leader especially, it will be important to communicate, but Jimin knows that Namjoon still feels quite shy with the whole pack around. 

“Um, announce it?” Namjoon asks nervously. 

Hmm. Maybe it wasn’t tradition in his pack, then? Jimin wonders. It’s certainly possible, considering all the backwards things Namjoon’s pack seemed to engage in. “Yes, we usually gather the pack together to announce courtships. I can do it, if you’d prefer. And we can certainly request privacy, if you’re nervous about that.”

Namjoon nods quickly. “I don’t mind everyone knowing, it’s not that. It’s just…I want this to be for us, not something for everyone to…to speculate over,” he explains. 

That makes perfect sense to Jimin. And while there’s the unfortunate matter of his pack being enormous gossips sometimes, he’s sure that their soft spot for the shy alpha will win over in the face of this request. 

“I’ll make sure of it. Would you like me to do that tonight?” Jimin asks. It’s not too late, the sun still visible on the horizon, casting a golden light over the trees. 

“Can we wait until tomorrow?” Namjoon asks. And who is Jimin to refuse a soft request from his sweet alpha? 

“Of course, baby,” Jimin says fondly. Honestly, he’d break every rule if it made Namjoon feel more comfortable. They definitely have to tell everyone; the pack leader can’t just secretly start a courtship, but one night won’t hurt anything. 

“Um, but…but, if you want to tell Yoongi and Taehyung tonight, that’s okay. And Jungkookie, he already knows I was going to ask anyway,” Namjoon decides. 

“Okay,” Jimin laughs. “And you can tell whoever you want too, okay? It’s not a secret, we’ll just save the whole pack announcement for tomorrow.” 

Truthfully, it’s kind of nice to think about having the evening for just themselves. Most wolves only go through a single courtship, though sometimes it won’t work out and they’ll be glad to have not simply mated in the early days. Jimin knows in his bones that won’t be the case with Namjoon. He’s already wanted to court him for months, and it’s just finally becoming a reality. Jimin does want some time to relish in that. 

“Okay. I’ll probably tell Seokjin and Hobi you said yes, then,” Namjoon says. “They…they might tease me though.”

Jimin very much wants to kiss the pouty expression off of Namjoon’s face, but they’re getting a little too close to the pack for that to be wise, unless they want an impromptu announcement. As it is, Jimin doesn’t even want to let go of Namjoon’s hand. He knows he’ll have to in just a few minutes, but that doesn’t make the prospect of it any more appealing. 

“If they do, tell them that’s my job now,” Jimin says lightly. He knows that Namjoon and the other two betas are close, and that they’re protective of Namjoon to a fault. He can’t help but feel a tiny twinge of jealousy over the fact that they’ll get to sleep beside Namjoon tonight, giggling and snuggling, while Jimin will be on his own. He wishes Namjoon was ready to sleep in one of the pack dens, and then maybe he could cuddle beside him surreptitiously…

“Aren’t you supposed to say that you won’t let them tease me or something?” Namjoon continues to pout. Jimin giggles. 

“Don’t be silly, you should know that teasing is half my communication style,” Jimin tells him. But he’d be willing to drop that down to say, twenty percent if he can replace the remainder with kisses and physical touch. 

They hold hands until the last possible moment, breaking through the trees to step into the pack grounds. No one seems to take much notice of them, much of the pack already back in one of the dens or their cabins to sleep for the evening. Jimin is grateful for that, because he doesn’t really know how he’d explain where he and Namjoon have been for the last couple of hours. Not that he has to explain, but he’s sure there would be questions. 

“I’ll take the basket back over to the food hut. Are you going back to talk with Seokjin and Hoseok?” Jimin asks. Namjoon nods slowly, his scent hinting at his anxiety. Jimin wishes he could do more to comfort him, but the best he can offer is some soothing pheromones and a light brush of their wrists. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay. Goodnight, Jimin,” Namjoon says softly. 

“Goodnight, Namjoonie,” Jimin replies. 

He’s only been back in his cabin for a handful of moments before there’s a knock at the door. 

Honestly, Taehyung has supernatural hearing, how did he know I was back so quickly? Jimin wonders as he goes to answer. 

But it’s not Taehyung, or Yoongi, or even Jungkook. 

“Namjoonie? Are you okay?” Jimin asks, concerned. He thought the alpha would be well into recapping his night with his friends by now. But instead, he’s standing in front of Jimin with his hands clasped and his eyes on the ground. 

“Just…just wasn’t ready to say goodnight yet,” Namjoon admits quietly. “My wolf…it feels…”

Jimin ushers him inside immediately. He understands; courtship is a big deal, and Namjoon has the compounded emotions of his general state of anxiety and his first kiss on top of that. “Sshh, it’s okay. What can I do to help?”

“Will you…can you scent me?” Namjoon asks. 

Jimin is more than happy to oblige; he should have thought of that before, but he didn’t realize that the scenting from their makeout session earlier might not have been enough. “Of course I can. Do you want to scent me too?” he asks, and Namjoon nods shyly. 

Jimin starts with their wrists, pressing their scent glands together and carefully covering Namjoon’s arms. He then noses at Namjoon’s neck, kissing softly along the skin and enjoying how relaxed Namjoon becomes in his hold. He resists the urge to suck on his scent gland, to swallow mouthful after mouthful of his scent. He wants Namjoon to feel calm, not aroused. Though it’s hard to separate those things out when he has such a beautiful alpha in front of him, an alpha that’s letting him put his claim all over his skin. 

Once Jimin is satisfied with his work, he presses a soft kiss to Namjoon’s lips, pleased when the alpha leans forward for another as Jimin pulls away. 

“Do you want to do me now?” Jimin asks him. 

“Yes, please,” Namjoon says. Jimin tugs him over to his pile of furs, sitting comfortably so Namjoon can better access his neck and wrists. Namjoon is cautious at first, gently letting their wrists press together, but he gets greedier once he reaches Jimin’s neck. Jimin hums happily as Namjoon licks against his scent gland, nudging his jaw in long swipes to cover more of Jimin’s skin. He wishes Namjoon would bite, just a little, just a taste of what’s to come, but he’s sure that won’t be happening tonight. 

“Feel better?” he asks when Namjoon seems satisfied that Jimin is drenched in his mahogany scent. 

“Yeah. I think…I usually feel really detached from my wolf, but it was so clear tonight that I needed you,” Namjoon says. 

Jimin is torn between worry that Namjoon still feels such a disconnect with his wolf and pleasure that he’s the reason something has finally sparked. “You can come scent me anytime, okay? Do you want to take one of my furs with you tonight?” 

“I’d like that,” Namjoon says. Jimin immediately sifts through for the softest one, rubbing it against his scent gland for good measure. He sleeps here most nights, so the furs all certainly smell of him anyway, but he wants to make sure his alpha is settled and gets a good night’s rest. 

“Do you think…do you think you’d want to sleep in the same place at some point soon?” Jimin asks tentatively. He doesn't want to push too much, doesn’t want Namjoon to feel like their courtship has to be fast-paced, but it seems like something the alpha’s wolf may want. Even if Namjoon himself hasn’t recognized it. 

Namjoon nibbles on his lip. “I…I’ve never really slept with anyone besides Seokjinnie and Hoseokie,” he says. 

Jimin nods. He knows that Namjoon was often excluded from pack activities, and he’s sure that included co-sleeping. It gives him a pang of sadness for Namjoon; sleeping beside his pack on cold nights or after a celebration is one of his favorite things. He loves the closeness and warmth, loves tucking his snout against a soft belly or nuzzling his way between Yoongi and Tae for cuddles. 

“But,” Namjoon continues, “I think I might like to try. I think…my instincts are telling me to try.” 

Jimin gives a little wiggle of excitement. “I’d like it too,” he says. “Do you prefer to sleep in your wolf form?” 

Namjoon nods. “Sometimes, yeah. It’s just warmer and um…” he starts to blush again.

“And what?” Jimin asks, curious. 

“Jinnie says my snoring is better when I’m in wolf form,” Namjoon mumbles. 

Jimin bursts into laughter. He can just imagine his cute gray wolf snoring away on his back, oblivious to his best friend glaring at him or whacking him with an irritated paw. 

“I sleep in both forms, just depending on the night, but more often human. I’m happy to do whatever you’re comfortable with,” Jimin says earnestly. He doesn’t mind either way, though he would definitely like to spend more time kissing Namjoon and exploring his body. He’s going to have a very hard time resisting with Namjoon laying beside him in the nest. 

Namjoon nods. “So…so after you talk to the pack tomorrow, maybe we can try it?” 

Jimin nods. “Tomorrow night, then.” 

After a few more gentle kisses, Namjoon leaves with Jimin’s favorite fur in his hands. His wolf is quite satisfied, knowing that their alpha is going to sleep nestled beside the fur and covered in Jimin’s scent. 

If Jimin thought he was going to have a moment of peace after that, he was wrong. 

Taehyung comes flying through the door only a few minutes later, Yoongi giving a cursory knock behind him and shaking his head. 

“Tae, what if he’d been in the middle of something? You can’t just go bursting in without knocking,” Yoongi tells him. Jimin is sure he’s told Taehyung this exact same thing a hundred times, and Taehyung has astutely ignored him every time. 

“He wasn’t, we saw Namjoon leave,” Taehyung snips back, then turns to Jimin. “What happened? How did it go?” 

“Well…” Jimin pauses, enjoying the suspense for as long as he can. Taehyung looks ready to burst out of his skin. Jimin is honestly just glad he’s in human form, because he’d probably have gotten a nip to the ear by this point if not. “He asked to court me.”

“And?!”

“And I said yes, of course,” Jimin says. Taehyung dives to wrap his arms around Jimin, squeaking happily. 

“Did he give it to you?” Taehyung asks into Jimin’s neck. 

“Give what to me?” Jimin asks, smirking. Yoongi rolls his eyes at them but settles down onto the ground for the story nonetheless. 

“The gift! He worked so hard on it, was all worried you wouldn’t like it. I told him you’d cry. Did you cry?” Taehyung is still going at a mile a minute. 

“I…might have cried,” Jimin admits. He doesn’t know if Taehyung read the full poem, or if Namjoon just showed him parts of it. It doesn’t really matter to Jimin, he’d share it with his best friend anyway. Namjoon’s words deserve to be shared. But it does feel a bit raw, a bit vulnerable.

“I knew it!” Taehyung giggles. 

“And did you like the dinner?” Yoongi asks. 

“Of course we did, I heard he even helped pick the menu,” Jimin says. “I can’t believe he came to you all on his own.” 

“I was surprised too,” Yoongi admits. “I wanted to make sure it was really good, so he knows he can trust me.” 

“I think he’s getting there,” Jimin assures him. 

Even though Jimin feels a little bit protective over the details of his evening, it does feel good to talk to his friends about it. He keeps some pieces for himself, the way Namjoon explained his feelings, the soft sighs when Jimin licked against his mouth, the way he fit perfectly into Namjoon’s lap. But the rest, he’s happy to share. He’s proud to be the one that Namjoon sees as worthy of courtship.

“I can’t believe you kissed,” Taehyung sighs. “I thought he’d be so shy, but maybe he’ll be bolder with you than he is with the rest of us.” 

“I mean, I made the first move,” Jimin says. 

“Of course you did,” Yoongi replies. Jimin crinkles his nose at him. “What? Just because you have an alpha partner doesn’t mean you’re going to stop being assertive. It’s just how you are, and I think it will work well for you guys.”

Jimin considers this. He does like to have control in a lot of aspects. He’s happy to initiate kisses and touch with Namjoon, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to come across as pushy. He wants Namjoon to be comfortable enough to take what he wants too, or to tell Jimin to slow down. 

“I guess so. I don’t mind that, I’m just afraid that I’m going to push too hard. He’s still…I don’t know. Delicate?” Jimin huffs in frustration. “Like, I’d love to just jump into everything headfirst, get him naked, bite him, fuck him…but I also want to do more of what we did tonight? Just spending time together, walking around and looking at plants or the water or the sky. Listening to him read or watching him write. Teaching him and learning from him. It’s weird.” 

“It’s not weird. That’s how I feel about Yoonie too,” Taehyung says. Yoongi looks at him deadpan. “Like, yeah, I love doing domestic shit with him, but he’s also hot.”

Yoongi snorts. “I think what Tae is trying to say is the timing will work itself out. You don’t have to have these self-imposed goalposts of, we need to go on this many dates before we can fuck. Or, he’s not going to be ready for this until we’ve been courting for so long. Just talk to him about it and see where he’s at, don’t assume.” 

Jimin nods. He knows Yoongi is right. It’s just hard not to treat Namjoon like he’s fragile sometimes, knowing all the trauma he’s experienced. He wants to be a place Namjoon can come to heal, not to hurt. 

“Thanks, Yoon. I’m going to tell the pack tomorrow, but we just wanted tonight to be ours,” Jimin says. He’s glad they decided that too, so he has some time to process everything and consider what he’ll say to everyone. He wants Namjoon to know how proud he is to be courting him, wants to spend at least half an hour singing his praises to the pack. But he’s also certain Namjoon would not enjoy that, so keeping it simple is probably best. 

“Cute,” Taehyung says. “Can we sleep here tonight? Wanna cuddle my Minnie before Namjoon steals you away.”

Jimin doesn’t know how Taehyung even figured out that he plans to spend more nights with Namjoon in the near future, but he doesn’t question it. It will be nice to have his friends to cuddle tonight if he can’t have Namjoon. 

“Yeah, you can stay,” he says, though it’s not like he could have removed a clinging Taehyung anyway. 

The pack announcement goes as well as Jimin can hope for. He decides to do it at their evening meal, so everyone will have the night to digest the information. It’s certainly a challenge to keep his hands off of Namjoon all day, so he busies himself with checking in on various projects throughout the day, probably annoying half the pack by lurking about.

When it’s finally time, Jimin makes sure to fill Namjoon’s bowl early so he can nestle himself at his alpha’s side. He intertwines their fingers, making sure they’re both ready. He notices Seokjin and Hoseok lingering behind Namjoon as though to make sure he’s supported from all sides and Taehyung, Yoongi, and Jungkook are gazing fondly at them from across the clearing. Jimin is glad they were each able to talk to their friends, to feel these early signals of support in the face of the actual disclosure.

“Alright, everyone, I’d like to make an announcement,” Jimin says once he sees most of the pack settling in for dinner. “As you all know, we welcomed several new wolves to the pack a few months ago, and I had spent quite a while getting to know our Namjoonie prior to that. I’m happy to say he has asked to court me, and I have accepted. We’d like to keep some level of privacy, but we also wanted everyone to know. I’m very proud to consider him my future mate.” 

Of course, there is a lot of excitement and congratulations throughout the meal, everyone wanting to approach the couple and express their happiness to finally have a match for their pack leader. Jimin keeps a tight hold on Namjoon’s hand, hoping it isn’t too much for him, but his scent remains cautiously pleased. He worries that the alpha isn’t eating his meal, and gently nudges the bowl towards him. 

“You should eat, I’m sure you’re hungry,” he tells him softly. 

“Just anxious,” Namjoon admits. “Everyone is being so nice, but it’s…it’s a lot.” 

“I know. Can you have a few bites, at least? I can get you more later if you get hungry tonight,” Jimin urges. He feels unsettled at the idea of his alpha going hungry. He knows it’s silly, knows that Namjoon is more than capable of feeding himself, but…

“Okay,” Namjoon agrees quietly. Jimin preens silently as Namjoon accepts a bite from his bowl. 

Once he’s certain that everyone has gotten a chance to offer their congratulations and that Namjoon has eaten as much as he’s going to manage, he picks up their bowls. Truthfully, he’s exhausted from the day, full of emotions and excitement. He very much just wants to curl up with Namjoon in his little nest of blankets and furs. “Do you still want to come back to mine?” he asks Namjoon. Namjoon nods quickly, making Jimin smile. 

“Let’s go, then,” he says, reaching out his hand to help Namjoon up. 

Jimin ignores the looks from their friends, pretending he doesn’t see any of them. He knows none of them are judging; in fact, they’re probably just excited for the new couple. He just doesn’t want to make Namjoon any more self-conscious than he already is. It’s not like they’re sneaking off to have sex, but maybe in the future…

Calm down, he instructs himself firmly. You can be alone with Namjoon without thinking about sex, you’re an adult. 

He sets their bowls down on the small table by the entrance so he’ll remember to wash them tomorrow. Namjoon stands near the door, looking like he’s not sure where to go. 

“Did you want to sit?” Jimin asks him. “I have the mats here, or if you’re ready for bed, you can come to my nest.” 

Jimin is rather proud of his little nest. He knows it’s not necessary for betas to make them per tradition, but that’s clearly never been something he cared about. He’s taken a lot of time to collect the softest furs, scenting them and making sure they’re cleaned carefully. He’s purchased a few blankets from human shops too when they’ve been on supply runs. He likes to look at all the patterns and colors, testing the feel of the materials against his skin. He wishes he knew how to make such things, but he has to settle for buying the best ones. He even has a few pillows, something most of the wolves don’t bother with. Jimin just finds it comforting to hold them sometimes. 

“Oh, I guess…I am pretty tired,” Namjoon says, eyeing the nest from across the room. 

“Do you want to sleep in human form, then?” Jimin asks. Namjoon nods quickly. “I have some pajamas, if you’d like. I don’t always wear them, but would you be more comfortable that way?” 

Namjoon looks torn, but in the end he nods again. Jimin figured as much; he wouldn’t mind sleeping naked beside Namjoon, but it’s probably too much too soon for his shy alpha. He offers him a loose pair of cotton shorts and a shirt. 

“Um…I don’t…would it be okay if I just wore the shorts?” Namjoon asks. 

Oh. Maybe not as shy as I thought, Jimin muses. “Of course, whatever you’re comfortable with. I’ll do the same, then,” he tells him. He swaps out his day clothes for a similar pair of pajama shorts and tucks the matching shirts back onto the shelf. Doing his best not to peek as Namjoon changes, Jimin crawls under the blankets in the nest and gets himself settled. 

“You’re sure it’s okay for me to be in your nest?” Namjoon asks, and Jimin looks up at him. He’s seen glimpses of Namjoon’s body, of course, but to be able to just look at his bare chest…it’s very pleasing.

“Of course, Joonie. I hope you’ll share my nest for a long time,” Jimin tells him, patting the spot beside himself. “Isn’t that part of the deal with courting?” 

Namjoon blushes and nods. “I guess so. I’ve just…I’ve never done this, so I don’t know what the timeline looks like? I hadn’t really planned too far past the asking part.” 

Jimin resists the urge to try and squish Namjoon as soon as he climbs into the nest beside him. “Well, I suppose that’s something we should talk about. I don’t think there has to be a timeline, per se. Some wolves court for a very short time before mating, and others have a much longer courtship. Mating is forever, so I can understand taking your time.” 

Namjoon nods, nosing surreptitiously at one of the pillows. “That makes sense. Um, what do we do during the courtship? I thought…maybe we could go on more…”

“Dates?” Jimin asks. He’d love to spend more time alone with Namjoon, having meals and going for walks and exploring together. 

“Yeah, I guess that’s what they’d be. But is there more to it? How will we decide when it’s time for…to mate?” Namjoon asks, his ears and cheeks getting more and more red as he tries to phrase his questions. 

“Well, usually there are a few gifts, and a lot of conversations about where we both are in the process. But like I said, we don’t have to follow any sort of tradition or set timeline,” Jimin explains. Truly, he feels confident about mating Namjoon, and he thinks that feeling will only grow as they spend more time together. 

“What sort of gifts?” Namjoon asks. 

“It can be lots of things, it depends on what your mate likes,” Jimin says. “You gave me a wonderful courting gift.” He motions to where the little roll of parchment sits on his center shelf. 

“Are there other things you would want?” Namjoon asks. 

“Are you trying to get me to give you hints for more gifts?” Jimin teases. Namjoon shakes his head, but Jimin is certain that he’s lying. “What if I want to give you a gift too?” 

“I don’t need anything, you’ve already done too much for me to repay,” Namjoon says quickly. 

“I don’t want you to see it that way, Joonie,” Jimin reprimands softly. “I don’t want you to feel like there’s some sort of balance between us that you need to even out. We’re equals, no matter what. It wouldn’t matter if you gave me a hundred poems or only one.” 

Namjoon nibbles on his cheek, and Jimin reaches to touch his face, gently correcting him. Namjoon freezes and looks at Jimin, his eyes almost immediately sliding down to Jimin’s lips. 

“Don’t bite,” he tells Namjoon. He’s not sure if Namjoon takes it as not biting his cheeks, or not biting Jimin, but he doesn’t really care. He’s just pleased with the way the alpha cautiously moves forward, only a breath away from Jimin. 

“Can I…can I kiss you?” he asks, and Jimin nods. It gives him a shiver of pleasure, to have his alpha asking so politely for what he wants. He knows that the Namjoon of a few months ago would never have dared. 

Namjoon presses his lips to Jimin’s, slow and sweet. He doesn’t bite, just as instructed, though Jimin wouldn’t be upset if he did. He seems entranced by Jimin’s mouth, suckling softly on his lower lip, letting Jimin lick against him. Jimin tugs at his arms until he’s got Namjoon rolled on top of him, the weight of his body heavy and warm. It’s not something Jimin could have predicted enjoying, but he’s quite pleased to feel like his alpha is gently pinning him in their nest. 

Jimin lets Namjoon explore, allowing him time to figure out what he likes. He seems especially interested in Jimin’s neck, his chest, nosing along the skin with careful brushes of his nose, then his tongue. He sucks at Jimin’s scent gland, swallowing down every wave of his scent in pleased gulps. He leaves kisses trailing down Jimin’s shoulders, his collarbone, his chest. Jimin whines when Namjoon licks his nipple, and Namjoon pauses, glancing up at Jimin. 

“It’s okay, feels good,” he encourages him. And that is all Namjoon needs to continue, to suck Jimin’s nipples with fervor. He’s sure they’re going to be swollen for hours, but he can’t complain when it feels so good. Namjoon is relentless, acting as though Jimin tastes better than any meal. I knew he’d be hungry later, Jimin thinks foggily. Every now and then, his teeth graze against Jimin’s skin, and he almost wishes he hadn’t mentioned not biting. He wouldn’t mind.

There’s no hiding the way his cock hardens in the loose pajamas, especially with Namjoon pressed against him, his stomach right on top of Jimin’s hips. He doesn’t move further down, but Jimin is certain he can feel the way he’s affecting him. He can definitely feel Namjoon’s cock too, pressed against his leg. He’s tempted to push his thigh forward, to see if Namjoon responds to the pressure, but he resists. Not yet. 

He doesn’t know how long they spend like that, Namjoon worshiping every inch of exposed skin he can find, covering Jimin in kisses and tiny bruises where he’s suckled a little too hard around his nipples. He’s sure their combined scents of pleasure are thick in the air, though he can’t be upset about that. He’s too lost in the haze of Namjoon, his mahogany scent dark and alluring, his body warm on top of Jimin, his mouth the most pleasurable sensation Jimin has ever experienced. 

Finally, Namjoon makes his way back to Jimin’s lips, though Jimin is only capable of lazy reciprocation at this point. He hums happily when Namjoon initiates cautious licks into his mouth, easily opening to his tongue. 

“Joonie,” he whispers. 

“Hmmm?” Namjoon whispers back. 

“Just…like kissing you. So good,” Jimin says sleepily. 

“I like it too,” Namjoon replies. “Are you falling asleep?” 

“Nuh uh,” Jimin denies, but he is. Having Namjoon here, feeling how warm and safe he is, being kissed and treated so carefully, it all has him feeling very relaxed. 

Namjoon laughs softly, rolling onto his side and pulling Jimin close against his chest. “I think you are. Let’s sleep. Just…kick me if I snore, okay?” 

“Not gonna kick you,” Jimin mumbles. Although he probably has kicked Taehyung in his sleep more than a few times, so maybe he shouldn’t make that promise. 

He falls asleep curled against Namjoon’s chest, their fingers loosely intertwined, the nest smelling of blooming water lilies and sun-warmed mahogany. 

They fall into a routine easily, like it was always this way. They wake together in the mornings, Namjoon insisting that he needs to get up and start working on whatever project he’s currently assisting with, and Jimin insisting that it can wait a few minutes while he gets his morning kisses. 

Their days vary, since Jimin has plenty of duties to attend to as leader. Sometimes he’s able to spend more time in the pack grounds, helping with checking the food stores or working on building repairs for some of the small cabins and huts. Other days, he has to go out with the hunters or to patrol their borders. There are meetings with other parts of the pack, plans for improvements to their territory, mediations on the handful of occasions there’s some sort of argument pack members can’t resolve on their own. 

Jimin enjoys having so much variety in his routine, but he also finds that he loves the stability and predictability Namjoon brings into his life.

Dinner is the meal they can always share, Jimin still making sure to fill his alpha’s bowl with plenty of food and watching carefully to ensure he eats well. Sometimes he sneaks in a quick wrist scenting, if they haven’t been together all day. He wishes it were more proper for him to just sit in Namjoon’s lap, but that seems like a slight breach of decorum. At least for now. 

And the evenings are the very best. Sometimes, they’ll just go back to Jimin’s nest, cuddling under the blankets and talking until one of them gets distracted by their need for kisses. Jimin is pleased to find that Namjoon’s neck is incredibly sensitive, and every time he manages to get his mouth on it, Namjoon has a very hard time keeping himself quiet. He acts embarrassed when Jimin leaves little bruises there, but his scent gives away how much he likes it. 

They still sleep with their pants on, which is probably the only thing keeping them somewhat civilized. Jimin just…as much as he wants to take Namjoon’s pants off, and as many times as he’s allowed his hands to wander just a little beneath the fabric, he feels like it’s not quite the right time yet. 

On the days they have a bit more time, they’ll convince Yoongi or Seokjin to give them extra food––some fruits or sandwiches, a real dinner if they’re feeling generous––and they’ll sneak off to have their own private picnics. Jimin takes Namjoon to all of his favorite places, wanting to show him everything beautiful in the entire territory. He wishes he could draw, so he could keep all those moments to look back on later. He wants to remember Namjoon in a field of flowers, the sun setting behind him. Namjoon swimming in his wolf form, barking happily as he splashes Jimin with a big paw. Namjoon in his nest, shirtless and curled around Jimin’s favorite pillow as he snores softly. 

It feels like they go on dates often, though Jimin isn’t sure if all of them count as actual courting dates. He figures that those are the ones when Namjoon gets all jittery and presents him with new poems. So they’ve had…six? official dates at this point, but perhaps a hundred nights of falling asleep side by side. A hundred wonderful nights that Jimin wouldn’t exchange for anything. 

Eventually, it comes time for a supply run and Jimin has to go, interrupting their routine. It’s over half a day’s journey, and they usually stay in town for a night or two to collect everything they need. He hates being away from Namjoon for so long, hates when they aren’t able to fall asleep together. He wants to bring his alpha with him everywhere, even though he knows it isn’t logical. 

It’s especially not logical because Jimin has big plans for this particular supply run. He’s been plotting for what feels like ages to get Namjoon the best courting gift. While he does plenty of small things for the alpha, often bringing him food or a new fur or pairs of pajama pants, he doesn’t feel like they’re nearly as meaningful as Namjoon’s poems. He wants to do something that makes Namjoon feel the way he does when he reads his poetry. He wants Namjoon to know that he sees him, and that he values all of the intricacies that make Namjoon his alpha. 

“You’re sure that we’ll be able to get it back here?” he asks Yoongi, who rolls his eyes at him. 

“Don’t let Jungkookie hear you questioning his strength, he’ll be upset,” he replies. Jimin knows that Jungkook is great at supply runs, able to carry the heaviest loads without a problem. It’s probably all those runs he goes on, or maybe the years of helping hunt for the pack. 

“It’s just…they’re delicate, aren’t they? I don’t want it to get broken halfway here and disappoint him,” Jimin frets. 

“Well, it’s not like he knows you’re getting it for him, so if that happens…we just try again next time,” Yoongi says logically. 

And Jimin is aware that Yoongi is right. He’s one of the most sensible people Jimin knows, rarely confounded by emotion. But that doesn’t mean Jimin’s brain works the same way, especially when it comes to his first real courting gift for his alpha. 

“But I want to give it to him now, ” Jimin whines. 

Yoongi laughs. “I think you just want to give him your dick, and somehow in that twisted brain of yours, you got the idea that this is the step before that.”

Jimin scowls at him. Yoongi isn’t wrong, exactly, but he didn’t need to say it so bluntly. “Just…I want to do things right for him, and it seems like he deserves a courting gift,” Jimin grumbles. 

“I’m not disagreeing with you. If your wolf is telling you this is the way to do things, then it’s fine,” Yoongi tells him. 

That seems like a more apt way to put it. Instinctually, Jimin wants to offer Namjoon a gift. It feels like a way of solidifying their courtship and of demonstrating that they are in fact equals. If Jimin just allows Namjoon to shower him with poems and doesn’t reciprocate in any way, it feels imbalanced. He knows Namjoon probably doesn’t see it that way; he seems to genuinely enjoy presenting the poems to Jimin. But Jimin is just afraid there are some remnants of that warped mindset Namjoon referenced, that he somehow owes Jimin all these acts of service and gifts because Jimin helped him leave his old pack. 

So he’s going to get Namjoon the best gift. Even if that means he has to be gone for a few days to obtain it. 

He isn’t sure what to expect when he explains to Namjoon that he’ll be traveling for a couple days. He knows that his own wolf feels whiny and irritated about it, but he’s not sure if Namjoon will feel the same. Obviously, they’ve gotten used to spending a lot more time together, but he doesn’t know if Namjoon’s wolf is as unsettled by the idea of being apart as his is. 

“So, we’ll leave tomorrow morning, and we should be back in about three days,” he explains. 

Namjoon nods quietly. “You’ll be careful?”

Jimin smiles at the question. “Of course, we always are. It’s not a dangerous trip, we’ve done it plenty of times before. I’ll miss you, though.” 

“I’ll miss you too. It’s gonna feel weird to sleep without you,” Namjoon says, gazing at the ground. 

“You can stay in my nest if you want,” Jimin offers. He doesn’t know if that will make things better or worse. He thinks it might be better? But then again, maybe Namjoon would prefer to curl up beside his friends for the next couple of nights instead of sleeping alone in a nest with only the fading scent of himself and Jimin together. 

“Maybe,” Namjoon says. “Just…it might be lonely.” 

“Yeah, it might be. You could sleep with Jin and Hobi, I’m sure they’d be happy to have you back for a few days,” Jimin suggests. He doesn’t want his alpha to be lonely; his beta is already howling in his chest over it, worrying that going on the supply run won’t even be worth it. Does he really need to get this gift? Will it make up for letting his alpha be sad for a few nights, alone in their nest? 

“I might do that,” Namjoon nods. “It’s only two nights, right? We’ll be okay.” 

“We will,” Jimin affirms. 

It’s weird to feel so…attached to another wolf. He has plenty of friends, plenty of close relationships, but he’s never felt quite so adrift when he has to spend a few nights away from Taehyung or Yoongi. With Namjoon, though, it just feels strange. The moment he stopped holding himself back from physical intimacy with the alpha, it was impossible to reel himself back in. He hopes these next few days go quickly. 

He wakes in the morning with a clingy alpha wrapped around him. Normally, their roles are reversed, Jimin trying to convince Namjoon to stay in bed a few moments longer. Today, however, Namjoon isn’t even awake yet and he’s already glued to Jimin’s side. 

“Joonie,” he says softly, wiggling a bit. “I have to go soon, you’re going to have to release me.”

All he gets in response is a grunt and a tightening of the grip Namjoon has around his waist. 

“Joonie,” he says, a little more firmly. “I can’t kiss you goodbye if you won’t let me up.” 

A huff against his neck, and finally Namjoon loosens his arms enough for Jimin to turn around. Namjoon’s eyes are barely cracked open, his lips in a confused pout. “‘s time for you to go already?” he mumbles. 

Jimin nods. “I’ll be back before you know it. Maybe you can write some poems about how you long for me while I’m gone.” 

He means for it to be a playful comment, but Namjoon nods thoughtfully. 

“I will,” he says, squishing Jimin close to him again. Jimin tilts his head up to kiss Namjoon, sighing into his mouth. He doesn’t want to remember what it’s like to wake up and not have Namjoon next to him, their legs tangled together, Namjoon breathing softly into the crease of his neck. 

“When I get back, we’ll go on another date, okay?” Jimin promises. And then I can give you my own courting gift, he thinks. 

“Okay. Be safe. Come back fast,” Namjoon says, pressing one more kiss to Jimin’s lips before finally letting him go. 

“I will. Don’t worry,” Jimin tells him. He wishes there was something better he could say, but he doesn’t think he’s quite ready for it yet. He’s definitely falling for Namjoon, definitely feels very strongly about the alpha, but he wants to express that at the right moment. Soon.  

He makes his way out to meet with the rest of the wolves that will be traveling to the town. Yoongi and Jungkook are among them, a sleepy-eyed Taehyung pressed into Yoongi’s side. Jimin knows that he’ll help keep Namjoon company; perhaps they can prevent one another from missing their mates too much. 

“Are we ready to head out?” Jimin asks as he approaches, looking around to make sure everyone is there. They don’t need much for the journey to town, though they do bring a few goods to trade and sell. Mostly furs and other animal products, but also a few medicinal tinctures and such that they’ve had good luck with in the past. They have money saved up as well, so they can buy what they need outright in the case that they aren’t able to sell much. 

Everyone nods, making the final decisions about who will carry which items so they can shift appropriately. They’ll travel in wolf form, but for the wolves like Jungkook that will be carrying some of the larger packs, it’s easier for someone else to strap the items onto them instead of struggling to do it in wolf form themselves. 

Surprisingly, Jimin notices that Seokjin and Hobi have come to say goodbye…to Jungkook. He’s not sure what’s going on there, but he has to admit that it’s kind of sweet to see Jungkook get shy with them. He’s usually the first one shifted and ready to go, but he lingers by them until the last moment. Interesting. 

Anything you want to tell me? Jimin murmurs once they’ve gotten moving. 

About what? Jungkook evades, glancing around to make sure no one is listening in. 

Your little goodbye party, Jimin replies, tail swishing teasingly as they trot near the front of the pack. 

Nothing to tell…yet, Jungkook says. 

Jimin leaves it there for now, though his curiosity lingers. He knows that Jungkook doesn’t usually seek out any sort of romantic relationship, though the same could have been said about him before Namjoon. Sometimes it’s just a matter of finding the person that kindles an interest, he supposes. 

Well, I’ll be ready when there is, then. They’re good people, aren’t they? he says, meaning their three newest wolves. 

They really are. I’m glad you found them, Jungkook says. 

Jimin wonders, though, if it was ever a matter of him finding Namjoon, or if their paths were simply fated to cross.

Chapter Text

Namjoon has quickly become spoiled sleeping next to Jimin.

He never thought he’d be upset about cuddling Seokjin and Hobi, but with the way his scent deflates that evening, he thinks they might regret letting him stay at all. 

“‘m sorry,” he says sadly when he sees Hobi’s nose twitch as he comes in for the night. Even the vase of fresh flowers on their table can’t cover his scent. “I just…I miss Jimin.” 

“We know,” Hoseok says, looking guilty. “You’ve gotten used to being with him, and your wolf already recognizes him as a mate. It’s hard to be separated.” 

“I’m surprised you two haven’t already mated, to be honest,” Seokjin comments. 

Namjoon tilts his head. “It’s only been a few months.” 

“Yeah, but you’re just…it’s obvious that it’s right, you know? You basically found each other by the luck of fate, and he’s so smitten with you. Always has been, even if you were too busy worrying to see it,” Seokjin says. 

Namjoon thinks about that. He’s still not sure if it’s true. He finds it hard to believe even now that Jimin really chose him , really wants to spend the rest of his life with Namjoon as his mate. He doesn’t think that Jimin is lying about his feelings, but it’s just so much to process after a lifetime of loneliness. 

“I think they’re both just being cautious,” Hoseok responds. “Which is fine, you should go at whatever pace you’re both comfortable with. Just don’t let your doubts be the only thing stopping you or slowing you down, you know?” 

“I don’t have any doubts about Jimin,” Namjoon says right away. “I know that he’s my mate. It’s more…I’m just worried about me, I guess. Like, what if he gets tired of reassuring me? What if he realizes I really am a bad alpha, and he doesn’t want to be mated to me after all?” 

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Joonie. He would never feel like that, and I think he’d nip you if you said those things about yourself in front of him. Would you call him a bad beta because he’s a pack leader or makes nests?” Seokjin asks. 

“No, of course not. He’s amazing, and we can’t just dictate someone’s behavior based on their…oh. Oh, I see what you’re doing,” Namjoon grumbles, scowling at his friends. 

“You two are made for each other. So if that’s all that’s holding you back, I think you just explain your worries to him, let him reassure you the way we just said he would, and mate officially,” Hoseok declares. 

“You make it sound so simple,” Namjoon sighs. 

“Here, I think it is that simple,” Seokjin tells him. “If you feel so strongly about someone, and your wolf knows it’s right, and you know it’s right, and they feel the same way…well, nothing else matters.”

“We’re allowed to have good things here,” Hoseok says quietly. 

Namjoon considers for a few moments, then nods. “You guys are right. When he gets back, I’ll talk to him on our next date. I know we don’t have to follow mating traditions or anything, but the full moon is coming and that just seems…” 

“Ah, romantic,” Hobi teases. 

Namjoon isn’t going to deny that. He loves to romance Jimin, even if he’s not always very smooth about it. Sure, he can write poems and shower him with kisses, but he still stumbles over his words half the time when he tries to say something sweet. He still unknowingly brought Jimin to the most mosquito-ridden part of the river in an attempt to have a nice lunch together. He still can’t actually cook a meal for them and has to beg for Yoongi or Seokjin to help him. 

“I do what I can,” he says primly, and the other two dissolve into giggles as they settle down for bed. 

True to his word, Namjoon tries to fill the days Jimin is gone with writing. He wants to have a new poem to present him with on their next date, and he wants it to be the best one yet. He just doesn’t know how to make this one stand apart from the rest. 

“Namjoonie, he’s going to love it no matter what, why are you so stressed?” Taehyung asks, stretching out his limbs as they settle down in one of Namjoon’s favorite little writing spots. There’s a secluded sunny patch atop a small rocky wall, and if Namjoon stays still enough, he can usually spot some pretty butterflies or colorful birds peeking out of the trees nearby. 

Namjoon chews on the inside of his cheek. Should he reveal his plans to Taehyung? He did last time, and everything turned out okay. Plus, Taehyung is the closest to being mated of all of his friends, so maybe he’ll have some good advice. 

“Well, I was thinking…I want to talk to Jimin about mating,” he admits. 

Taehyung squeaks in excitement. “Really? That’s amazing, he’s going to be so happy! Where do you want your mating mark? Are you going to do it during your rut? Will you go to one of the rut cabins? Do you need another picnic made? Oh, does that mean you’re going to be the pack…alpha? There must be a title for the leader’s mate…” 

“Tae,” Namjoon laughs, “slow down. I think the most important part will be the conversation, don’t you?” 

Taehyung pouts. “Ugh, boring. Of course he wants to mate you, you’re basically attached at the hip already! The more exciting part is the sex. Have you guys…?”

Namjoon shakes his head, cheeks aflame. He and Jimin have kept things mostly above the waist, though sometimes he can’t resist gripping onto Jimin’s ass or grinding against his thighs if things get more heated. “Um…I’ve never. It’s just, I didn’t even think I would be an alpha, you know? So having a knot, and still feeling so far apart from everything else I’d ever known to be alpha…sex wasn’t something I thought about very much.”

Taehyung’s eyes get big and sympathetic. “I’m sorry, Joonie, I wasn’t thinking about that part. I shouldn’t have made light of it.” 

“No, it’s okay. I…I want to, with him. It’s just…I’m nervous, especially when it sort of feels like everyone could hear us? And…and I think he’s trying to keep things slow for me, which is sweet, but…I don’t always want him to,” Namjoon admits. 

Taehyung nods thoughtfully. “Well, I think you’re right about the conversation part, boring or not. But Joonie, if you just tell him all of that…I’m sure he’ll fuck you stupid after.”

Namjoon is very glad he’s not eating anything, or else he might have choked. “Um…thanks?” 

Taehyung giggles and nods. “Also, I’m sure he hasn’t told you about this in case it feels like added pressure. But we do have a couple of heat/rut cabins a little outside the main camp. They’re insulated and built a little more sturdily, so they don’t let out as much sound or scent the way the smaller cabins and huts in the camp do,” Taehyung explains. 

Namjoon had noticed one of the cabins outside the camp during his runs with Jungkook, but he hadn’t thought much of it or realized what it might be for. “Oh. That’s…that’s a good idea,” he manages. 

With a wiggle, Taehyung starts to list all the ways the cabins could be decorated for romantic vibes. Some of his ideas are way too over the top for Namjoon (spelling out their names in flower petals or capturing a bird to serenade Jimin, to name a few) but he thinks some others will be usable. Simple bouquets, a table cloth, well-scented furs…those are all reasonable.  

“Now I just need the perfect poem,” Namjoon sighs. He has a lot of pieces, a little bit of this and that, but nothing that feels cohesive yet. He hates this stage, when he has a few lines that he thinks could be something but he can’t get them there. 

“That is something I don’t think I can be much help with,” Taehyung admits. “Is there a particular central message you want to get across? Or maybe an…image?” 

Namjoon smiles at Taehyung’s use of the handful of poetry terminology he’s learned from Namjoon’s ramblings. He thinks about the questions carefully. What sort of imagery does he want for this piece? There are plenty of things that remind him of Jimin, from the thick clouds drifting along in the sky to the soft blanket he has folded neatly in Seokjin and Hoseok’s hut. But those are just…not right for a poem. It needs to have drama, power, meaning.  

“I don’t know about an image,” he admits. “Nothing feels like it’s enough, if that makes sense? It feels almost like I’m watering him down by trying to compare him to the wrong thing.”

“What about a message, then? Maybe if you figured that out, you’d have an easier time with the other elements?” Taehyung suggests. 

The message…well, Namjoon knows in the back of his mind exactly what message he wants to convey. It’s beyond just asking Jimin to become his mate, beyond explaining that he misses him every moment they’re apart. 

Love, his brain helpfully supplies. You want to tell him that you love him. 

But how does he do that? How does he convey something so enormous in just a handful of stanzas, a few brushes of ink to a page? How is he supposed to expound upon an emotion that he barely understands, can barely identify in his own body? How can he tell Jimin he loves him when he can’t even come up with a good enough metaphor for Jimin, let alone the way he makes him feel? 

“Whoa, are you freaking out again?” Taehyung asks, and Namjoon realizes his scent has grown stronger and sour as he thinks himself in circles. Taehyung nudges at his wrist, offering his own calming pheromones, and Namjoon takes a deep breath. 

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Namjoon sighs. “I…I think I know what I want the message to be. It just feels…overwhelming.” 

“You want to tell him you’re in love with him, don’t you?”

Namjoon whips his head over to Taehyung, who laughs at his dramatics. “Oh come on, it’s been obvious this whole time that you two are head over heels for each other. I can’t believe you’ve gone this long without it slipping out, honestly. What are you worried about?”

“I’ve never told anyone that before,” Namjoon admits. 

“Oh,” Taehyung breathes. “Well, I don’t want to just say it’s easy, but…when it’s right, to some degree it is.” 

“I just want it to be good, you know? He deserves…he deserves probably more than I can give him, so I want to make sure everything I do give is my best,” Namjoon says softly. 

“One day you’ll realize that you’ve deserved him all along,” Taehyung says as he closes his eyes and lays back in the sun. Namjoon blinks at him for a few seconds, and then starts to trace out the beginnings of his poem in the dirt. 

Though Namjoon did his best to stay busy while Jimin was gone, he can’t help being antsy the day the traveling group is supposed to return. He knows they probably won’t be back until late afternoon or evening, but he’s tempted to just stick around the camp and wait for them to arrive. He wants to greet Jimin as soon as he gets there. If Jungkook were there, he could probably talk Namjoon into going on a run and letting off some of his nervous energy, but he doesn’t want to go alone. 

Taehyung is right there with him, the two of them finding the smallest tasks that can keep them near the spot where their mates will return. Sorting through some kindling for the fire to make sure it’s all dry? Portioning out the berries to be used for preserves? Entertaining the pups? They’re happy to do it all, right from the center of the camp. 

“You know they’re not going to come back faster if you just sit here, right?” Seokjin teases. But Namjoon notices the way he and Hoseok seem to be a bit more interested in the treeline today too. 

It’s normal, he tells himself. Everyone is eager for their pack leader to come back. And it’s normal to want your mate nearby. 

The day passes by excruciatingly slowly, more so than any of his days with this pack ever have. He’s so used to actually enjoying his tasks and responsibilities now, he forgot what it was like to feel this sort of anxiety. 

He and Taehyung finally concede defeat and simply sit together, watching the woods. 

“They’ll be in wolf form when they get back, do you think we should shift?” Taehyung asks. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Namjoon says “I mean, that way we can actually greet them, right?” 

Taehyung nods. “These trips are good for Yoongi, he doesn’t get to spend that much time in his wolf form since he can’t do a lot of his duties that way. I’m glad he gets to reconnect with that part of himself.” 

They shift into their wolf forms, happily curling up beside each other to wait. Namjoon thinks it’s the perfect plan, especially because they’ll better be able to hear the pack coming this way. Taehyung rests his snout on Namjoon’s paws, thumping his tail slowly. 

It’s a little easier to relax this way; Namjoon is able to settle his head on top of Taehyung’s, closing his eyes and listening for the sound of paws in the distance. It’s nice to have Taehyung close, to have someone just as eager to see his mate as Namjoon is. He breathes in Taehyung’s soft lavender scent, letting it calm him. 

Finally, finally , they hear the far-off sounds of wolves approaching. 

It’s them! They’re coming! Taehyung yips, nearly smacking Namjoon’s jaw as he hops up from their position. Namjoon can’t be upset with him though, not when he also leaps to his feet, tail wagging, mouth open in an excited pant. 

How far, do you think? he asks Taehyung. 

Maybe six minutes away? 

They pace back and forth, unable to sit still even for those few remaining minutes. A few more pack members come to join them, eager to see what the group will bring back from the town. Of course, some of the items will be necessities, just restocking of ingredients or items they’ll need in the coming months. But there’s always something fun to add as well, like toys for the pups or tasty treats for everyone to share. 

When Jimin’s beautiful white coat appears through the trees, Namjoon has to restrain himself from rushing to the beta. He’s carrying a pack, and Namjoon wouldn’t want to crush the precious items he’s brought all the way from the town. Still, he hardly contains his joy as Jimin spots him and immediately wriggles his way out of the straps holding the bag to his back and darts over to Namjoon. 

Missed you, he says, nuzzling against Namjoon’s neck to scent him right away. Missed you every night, hated sleeping without you. You’re coming with us next time. Or I’ll stay here. 

Missed you too, Namjoon tells him, basking in the scenting and itching to do the same to Jimin. Was the trip okay? You were safe, got everything you needed? 

It went smoothly. Even got a few surprises, Jimin says slyly. Namjoon tilts his head, but he’s too focused on making sure Jimin smells like him again to really ask questions. 

As much as Namjoon wants to go straight to their nest and cover every inch of Jimin in kisses, he decides to be a good packmate and help put away the supplies. He looks around for Yoongi and Jungkook, wanting to make sure they’re safe as well. They feel like pieces of his new family, and his wolf wants to be sure they’re all home. He sees Yoongi with Taehyung, nestled together with their limbs all intertwined as Tae intently scents his alpha. Jungkook, however, is nowhere to be seen. 

Where’s Jungkookie? Namjoon asks as he helps Jimin carry some of the parcels towards one of the caves to be sorted. 

Oh, I think he’s probably putting away his bag? He always insists on carrying the heaviest ones. I think he had some ingredients Yoongi asked for, Jimin replies. 

That settles Namjoon’s wolf a bit. And if Jungkook is over by the food preparation area, he’s probably just reuniting with Seokjin. Namjoon can greet him later and make sure he’s okay after the long trip. 

Did you miss Kook more than me? Jimin teases as Namjoon glances around one more time. 

No, of course not. Just, my wolf…it wants to make sure he’s safe, I guess. 

Jimin tilts his head. You’ve been more connected with your wolf recently, hmm? I think it’s been good for you to have a pack you actually see as family. 

Namjoon hadn’t considered that, not exactly. He knew that a big reason he felt disconnected from his wolf was because he didn’t feel like a traditional alpha, and he didn’t know that there were ways to be any other kind of alpha. But now that Jimin says it, he thinks there were probably other factors too. He didn’t have a reason to display any sort of protective instinct, because there was very little he felt he could protect, very little that he had reason to be protective over. 

I think you’re right, he replies slowly. It’s not that I feel like I need to…defend, or fight, or anything like that. But…I want to know that my packmates are safe. It makes me feel…unsettled, if I don’t know that they’re okay. Is that normal? 

I think it’s very normal. It’s not even just an alpha thing, at least not to me. I feel the same way. I think it’s just part of loving your pack, Jimin tells him. 

Love. 

That’s the second time in as many days that the idea has been brought up. It’s still overwhelming, but it also feels right. The way he feels about the pack is definitely different than the way he feels about Jimin, though; it’s a little easier for him to identify it, a little easier to accept it. 

Once they’ve put away Jimin’s pack, they shift to get their bowls from Jimin’s cabin and head to dinner. Namjoon is certain that a little extra effort has been put into the meal tonight to welcome their usual cook back, and all of it smells delicious. There’s a stew with lots of well-seasoned meat and potatoes, some sliced bread and rolls from the pack’s trip into town, lots of roasted vegetables, and even a few desserts. 

Jimin, as usual, fills Namjoon’s bowl with far more food than he would ever take for himself, insisting that he needs to eat well. 

“I haven’t been here for two days to make sure that you’re eating,” he tells Namjoon sternly. 

“I did!” Namjoon claims, though he certainly didn’t eat the amount Jimin has served him tonight. 

Jimin looks at him skeptically but doesn’t comment further. They sit next to Yoongi and Taehyung, who are also back in their human forms. Namjoon basks in the simple pleasure that is eating with Jimin at his side; it’s hard to imagine going back to the way his evenings used to be, never knowing if there would be a serving left for him, or if he’d eat alone. 

Despite enjoying the meal and getting to hear all the stories from the wolves that went into town, Namjoon starts to feel antsy once he’s finished eating. Now that he’s seen Jungkook tucked between Seokjin and Hoseok, happily accepting bites of food from both of their bowls, he’s ready to go back to Jimin’s nest. 

“Are you listening, Namjoonie?” Jimin asks softly. Namjoon shakes his head; he very much was not listening to whatever Taehyung has been saying, though he doubts that Taehyung really minds. He looks like he’s just as ready to take Yoongi to bed. 

“Sorry, Tae. I’m just tired,” he says, and it isn’t a lie, exactly. He is tired from all the waiting he did today, all the anticipation of Jimin finally coming home. But he also wants to stay up and hear every detail of Jimin’s trip, wants to see him comfortable in his pajamas, curled into their nest with his head on Namjoon’s chest. 

“Me too, I’m ready for bed,” Taehyung yawns dramatically. “Let’s go, Yoon, we’ll see you guys in the morning.” 

Seeing his opportunity, Namjoon tugs Jimin up too, making him laugh at his enthusiasm. “You’re ready for bed too, I take it?” Jimin asks, and Namjoon nods. He wants to be back in the little cabin with Jimin, making sure that all the furs smell like him again, getting to feel his soft skin, holding him tight and remembering what it’s like to fall asleep at his side. 

Once they’re inside, though, Namjoon finds himself a little anxious, a little awkward. It’s only been a few days, but he seems to have forgotten how, exactly, to initiate physical contact. He’s a bit worried that all his thoughts are going to come bursting forth at the first brush of skin, the first meeting of lips. He’s not quite prepared to let everything out, not certain that he knows what he wants to say when he confesses fully to Jimin. 

Jimin hands Namjoon his favorite pair of pajama pants, and Namjoon can’t help but sneak a glance as Jimin changes into his own. His skin is so smooth and pretty, little freckles dotted along his thighs. Namjoon wants to touch all of them. He wants more time to admire them, but Jimin is already sliding his legs into the pants and turning to Namjoon. 

“Are you going to change?” he asks softly. Namjoon nods hastily and wiggles into the pants, folding his shirt to set on the little shelves. He’s not sure, but he thinks he catches Jimin sneaking a glance at him too. 

Jimin doesn’t seem quite ready to get into bed yet, though, stretching his arms out and wincing in discomfort. “I forgot that the trip always makes me sore. My muscles are going to hurt for days.” 

“Can I help?” Namjoon asks. He doesn’t know how he could help, but he has to ask. He doesn’t want his beta to be in pain. “Maybe Hobi has something for muscle pain, like a salve?” 

Jimin shakes his head. “It’s okay, I’m sure he’s already settled down for the night anyway. But…if you want, I wouldn’t say no to a massage.” 

Namjoon swallows. He doesn’t really know anything about massage, not like the medically trained wolves. He has no idea where pressure points are or what technique to use. He doesn’t know how to actually help Jimin with his sore muscles. But…what kind of idiot would he be to refuse the opportunity to touch? 

“Okay. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I’ll try,” he says. Jimin smiles sweetly at him, then lays on his stomach in the middle of the furs and blankets. Namjoon stares down at him for a few seconds, trying to determine exactly the best strategy. He could sit beside Jimin, but then it would probably be hard to reach his other side effectively. He could sit between Jimin’s legs, but that might be uncomfortable for him. So the best solution seems to be for Namjoon to just…

“Is this okay?” he asks Jimin as he straddles his hips. He thinks privately that it might not be okay for him, considering the fact that he can feel Jimin’s ass right against his groin. He’s definitely going to get hard, and this is supposed to be about Jimin. Not about Namjoon, and how sexy he thinks Jimin is, with all his lithe muscles and pretty curves and very pleasing ass…

“It’s okay, you’re not that heavy,” Jimin mumbles into the blankets. Namjoon isn’t sure what to make of that. He thinks he is kind of heavy. 

He starts with Jimin’s shoulders; he remembers that a lot of tension tends to gather there. He presses his thumbs into the muscles, trying to be gentle enough that he doesn’t hurt Jimin.

“You can go harder,” Jimin tells him. 

So Namjoon does. He presses the base of his palm against Jimin’s shoulder blades, trying to draw all the aches out of him. He makes small circles with his thumbs, covering every inch of his back, imagining that he’s pulling all of the stress and soreness out. He spreads his palms across Jimin’s waist, amazed at how much of his skin disappears under Namjoon’s large hands. 

“Is that enough?” he asks, hesitating to delve further down. Sure, Jimin is wearing pants, but…but Namjoon doesn’t know if he has enough self-control to put himself through massaging Jimin’s thighs. It’s a lot of temptation. 

“Could you do my legs too? All the walking just makes them feel really tight and sore,” Jimin requests. He already sounds more relaxed, almost sleepy. He barely turns his head to make his words heard. 

“Oh. Um, yeah, I can do that,” Namjoon replies, staring down at Jimin’s ass. “I’ll just…start here, then.” 

He scoots down a bit to give himself space, beginning by pushing the pants up over Jimin’s calves. He presses his thumbs into the muscle, admiring how toned Jimin’s legs are. He’s glad that his beta is so strong, able to go on long journeys and return to him safely. He’s glad that he’s allowed to touch something so beautiful. 

He spends probably more time than necessary on Jimin’s calves, needing to prepare himself mentally for the glory that is Jimin’s thighs. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to just touch when presented with all of that gorgeous muscle and curves. He wants to pull Jimin’s pajamas off, wants to see the way the skin grows pink under his hands, wants to see the imprint of his fingers and lips and teeth on Jimin’s thighs. 

That’s not what he asked for. He wants a massage because he’s in pain, and all you can think about is devouring him, Namjoon scolds himself. He had no idea that a few days apart would cause him to be so starved for any touch he could get. He’s never craved another person this way before, even in the days that he was most lonely. He certainly wished for gentle touches, perhaps to be held or to curl up in the warmth of other wolves, to be scented by his friends and feel that instinctual comfort. But he never wanted someone like this.  

“Joonie?” Jimin says questioningly. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Namjoon says, finally letting his hands slide up to Jimin’s thighs. They’re just as muscular as his calves, the sinew and strength obvious even from a brush against them. Namjoon can only wrap his hand around perhaps half of the thickest part. He tries to massage mindlessly, tries not to think about how much more than this he wants. He tries to focus on the fact that Jimin has been traveling for days and needs to be pampered and cared for, that he’s asking his alpha for something. 

Somehow, this helps Namjoon make it through the remainder of the massage unscathed. Mostly. He only has about thirty thoughts regarding how he’d like to massage Jimin without his pajamas on, and how he’d happily put his hands on any part of him, and how he’d like to use his mouth and tongue on all of those parts too. 

“Thank you, alpha, feel so good,” Jimin slurs beneath him. 

Namjoon never thought that he would enjoy being called alpha. But when Jimin says it…it sounds like a prayer, a praise. It sounds like his mate calling him home. It doesn’t sound like any of the other things he’s come to associate with being an alpha; nothing like defiance or violence or coercion. 

He crawls under the blanket to scoot behind Jimin and pull him against his chest. Jimin turns in his arms to face him, looking at Namjoon with soft, sleepy eyes. 

“You smell happy,” he tells Namjoon, nudging his nose against Namjoon’s neck. 

“I am,” Namjoon whispers. 

They spend the next morning lounging in their little nest, exchanging lazy kisses and going over Jimin’s trip. Jimin tells Namjoon about the bookstore they visited, and Namjoon can’t help but feel a little jealous. He’s never been to a bookstore, can hardly imagine seeing more than twenty books all in one place. He doesn’t even know how he’d decide which books he wanted, so perhaps it’s for the best that he didn't get the chance. 

“Did they have any poetry collections?” he asks wistfully. He’s read far less poetry than he’d like, and he wishes he had more books to peruse. He wants to learn more about the craft, wants to become better, and he thinks the best way to do that would be to read more. 

“They did, none as good as yours, of course,” Jimin says. Namjoon crinkles his nose at him; he’s certainly not up to the standard of a professional and doesn't have nearly enough experience to claim such a thing. 

“What was the town like?” Namjoon asks instead. 

“The same as usual. It’s a little odd to be around humans, but they’re usually pretty nice. They have a lot of interesting stores and goods, it’s very different from us. They have shops for all sorts of things, like crafts and clothing and even kitchenwares,” Jimin explains. 

“Oh, I bet Yoongi loved that,” Namjoon says. 

Jimin nods. “He did, always comes back complaining that our food systems aren’t advanced enough. I mean, we have the best that can be expected out in the woods!” 

“I think it just makes his skillset more impressive. He doesn’t need all the fancy tools and things, he can just make delicious food for an entire pack with fire and some seasonings,” Namjoon reasons. Jimin giggles. 

“Well, I’m sure he’d say he’s a bit more complicated than that, but I agree with you.” 

When it reaches late morning, Jimin finally stretches and sits up. “We should probably get up soon, I don’t know how much longer my post-travel excuses are going to hold up for avoiding my duties.” 

Namjoon does his best not to protest, even though he could probably spend the rest of the day wrapped up with Jimin in the blankets. He doesn’t want to be far from him ever again, just wants to have his skin bathed in Jimin’s scent and keep him in sight for the next…forever. 

“Okay,” he agrees, but neither of them move. 

“Can I…can I scent you first, though?” Jimin asks. Namjoon nods eagerly. He’s sure that he already smells more like Jimin than himself, after being in the nest with him for hours, but he’ll never turn down a scenting from his beta. 

Jimin noses at his neck, pressing soft kisses to the skin and sucking gently at his scent gland. Namjoon does his best not to wiggle in satisfaction at the sensation. Jimin smiles against his skin, so he’s definitely not doing a good job keeping still. 

Next, Jimin rubs his wrists all along Namjoon’s arms, coating him carefully in the scent of blooming water lilies. Namjoon feels himself going limp, his alpha rumbling happily at being so thoroughly marked and cared for by his beta. 

“Want more?” Jimin asks him, and Namjoon nods mindlessly. He doesn’t really know what Jimin means by more, considering the fact that he’s already covered the usual areas more than efficiently. He definitely didn’t consider the fact that Jimin would go for the scent glands at the junctures of his legs and groin, but that’s exactly what he does. 

“Smell so good here, Namjoonie,” Jimin murmurs as he noses at Namjoon’s hips, only millimeters of light fabric separating his mouth from Namjoon’s skin. “Want to smell just like this, want everyone to know that you’re mine and I’m yours.”

Namjoon whines, barely able to restrain himself from bucking his hips, from encouraging Jimin to slide his mouth just a little further to the side. He wants so much, but he doesn’t know what he needs, doesn’t know how much he’s ready to take. 

Just as he’s considering asking Jimin to just take off his pants already, Jimin stops, looking satisfied. “Perfect,” he says, straightening up and rummaging about for a change of clothes. 

Namjoon just stares at him, mind blank. He wants to pull Jimin back into the nest, to ask him to continue doing…whatever that was, because it did not feel like just scenting. But Jimin is right, they have to actually get up at some point, and Namjoon really doesn’t want to explain why they were so late getting started on the day. He’s sure that his scent is going to give plenty away at this point anyway. 

He manages to make his way over to the school cabin only a few minutes after Jimin heads off to check on the storage of all the goods the traveling party brought back. They’ve been making good progress, and Namjoon is confident that the cabin will be ready in plenty of time for the pups getting old enough for lessons. He’s gotten several shelves completed, and when he looks around, he notices a few wrapped packages on the floor. 

Curious, he sits down to open them; perhaps some new materials for building were purchased in town? He’s not sure what else they could need, since they already have lots of tools and plenty of wood, but he also doesn’t know much about renovation. 

Instead of tools or paint or other construction materials, though, Namjoon finds…neatly tied stacks of books. The first set are aimed at children, stories and coloring books and a few with lessons on making letters and shapes. He smiles to himself, remembering similar books from his own childhood. They’d all have to trace over the marks of previous pups, since they didn’t get new workbooks often, but it was still fun. 

The next stack of books are novels, ones Namjoon has never seen before. They’re all paperbacks, a bit worn with folded pages and small damages here and there, but that doesn’t bother him a bit. He loves seeing traces of the lives books have lived, the hands that have held them and the places they resonated with their readers. He hopes that these books will be available to everyone, that he can borrow them to read himself soon. 

The third stack of books has a small note taped to the top, only stating DO NOT OPEN. Of course, it makes him want to open it even more, but he doesn’t want to get in trouble. He wonders if there are more novels, but maybe…maybe they’re explicit in nature? He can’t imagine Jimin spending their money on such a thing, though. Unless someone requested he do so? But that just doesn’t seem likely. 

What could be so secret about these books? Or maybe there aren’t books at all in the wrapped parcel? Maybe it’s something else entirely, hidden amongst the books to keep it secret? 

“What are you looking at?” 

Namjoon jumps, startled at almost being caught…well, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Yet. He turns to see Jungkook peering into the cabin, head tilted. 

“Um…some books that came back with you guys. Are they for anyone?” Namjoon asks. Jungkook steps inside, looking at the pile of books in front of Namjoon, and then to the still-wrapped parcel beside them. 

“Yeah, probably. Jimin really went overboard with the books this time. I think he’s getting excited for the pups to learn to read. You’re not supposed to see that one, though,” Jungkook nods towards the pile with the note. 

“Why not?” Namjoon asks. 

Jungkook just grins impishly at him. “Well, the note says do not open, doesn’t it?” 

Namjoon scowls at him. “You obviously know what’s in it, why won’t you tell me?” 

Jungkook just shrugs. “It’s not my secret to spoil. Although it wasn’t too smart to store it here when you’d obviously see it and get all curious. Anyway, I wanted to see if you would go running with me later?” 

“You want to go running after you just trekked…what, sixty miles? In the last couple of days?” Namjoon asks. 

Jungkook just nods. “Yeah, I get restless if I don’t do something every day. I’m used to doing my runs or hunting most days, so I don’t feel too bad. It’s just the old wolves like Jiminie that get sore from walking a little extra.”

Namjoon feels almost like…growling? He knows Jungkook is just kidding, and that Jimin isn’t that much older than Jungkook anyway, but his alpha wants him to defend his mate. He’s never felt like growling at anyone over a joke, though. It’s strange. 

“Whoa, don’t get all grumpy on me,” Jungkook giggles, noticing the shift in Namjoon’s scent. He still hasn’t managed to figure out how to mask subtle changes in it, keeps meaning to ask Yoongi for tips. 

“I’m not, I know you’re just kidding. I just think…I was telling Jimin, I feel a little more like my alpha is awake recently. Like, it’s been sort of…disconnected from me for a long time, and I haven’t had many instincts that I’d attribute to it. But since I started courting Jimin, and feeling more at home here, it’s like…I get a little protective, sometimes,” Namjoon tries to explain. 

Jungkook nods. “I get it. I thought that all my omega instincts were supposed to be related to mating and breeding, so I just figured I didn’t really have any. Or that my omega was broken, or something. But it’s not true, it’s just that I wasn’t letting it be anything else. I had to figure out how to tune in to those instincts.” 

“Did you…did they feel kind of overwhelming, sometimes?” Namjoon asks hesitantly. He feels pretty normal most of the time, but there are just a few instances where he suddenly gets hit with a wave of instinct, whether it’s the desire to protect or to make sure his packmates are safe or to cocoon his beta in their nest. 

“Yeah, especially at the beginning. I thought of it as my omega reawakening, so it felt really strong sometimes. Now I’m more used to it, so it’s not as intense,” Jungkook explains. 

Namjoon hopes that will be the case for him. He wants to understand his alpha. He spent so many years forcing it down, ignoring its existence, wishing that he were anything else. He feels a little bad, because it turns out his alpha isn’t so bad. It’s just the idea of traditional alphas that scared him. He was afraid that if he even tried to embrace his wolf, he’d somehow be dragged down into being like them. Violent and bullheaded and lazy and cruel. Unable to think about anything but power and sex. 

“So, run later?” Jungkook asks hopefully. “Sounds like maybe your alpha needs to get some extra energy out too.” 

Namjoon sighs, then agrees to go running. He hopes that Jimin won’t be done early, that the run won’t cut into time that they could be spending together. But then he reminds himself that it’s not healthy to only spend time with Jimin, and that he should be spending time with his friends as well. Don’t be a lovesick idiot, he tells himself. 

But it’s hard, when he has to contain the confession of love. It makes him way more of an idiot. He thinks once he gets to say the words a few thousand times, he’ll feel a lot less dizzy and dumbstruck. But for now, he’ll just have to deal with being a dumb alpha in love. 

As it turns out, Namjoon doesn’t have to wait very long to find out what’s in the third parcel. He plans to ask Jimin about it, sure that he won’t be able to resist telling him, but he doesn’t have to. Jimin brings the package to him. 

They’re back in Jimin’s cabin after happily sharing dinner together, thighs pressed against one another and eating bites from their bowls like lovestruck pups. Namjoon doesn’t even want to imagine what they’ll be like after they’re mated. 

“I have something for you,” Jimin says. Namjoon tilts his head, looking around.

“What is it?” he asks. He doesn’t really need anything; he has plenty of food and a warm place to sleep and a beta that he…that he will tell about how much he loves him. Soon. 

Jimin rustles around in the corner for a moment, pulling out a familiar package from a box. 

“The secret package!” Namjoon exclaims. Jimin looks at him inquisitively, and Namjoon blushes. “Oh, um, I saw it in the school cabin earlier, with some other books. But it said not to open…”

“You didn’t look, right?” Jimin asks quickly. “It wasn’t supposed to go there, but whoever put away that pack must have thought all of them went together. But these are for you.”

“I didn’t look. I wanted to, and maybe I would have…but Jungkook came in and told me not to, that it was a surprise,” Namjoon says sheepishly. 

Jimin laughs. “He’s so nosy, I’m surprised he didn’t encourage you to open it anyway. Hoseok and Seokjin must be a good influence on him. Do you want to open it now?” 

Namjoon nods, reaching out for the parcel. It’s heavy, feels like it definitely must be more books. He’s never had books that are just for him before. He hopes it really is books. Carefully, he unties the twine wrapped around the paper, then unwraps the paper from…an entire pile of books. 

They’re tied together inside the wrapping as well, probably to keep them stable. There must be at least…Namjoon counts ten spines, most of them fairly thin. They’re all titles he’s never seen before, and most of them seem to be collections of poetry. One is a book on types of poems and styles, like a little pocket guide to the genre. Another one looks brand new, and tucked into the side of it is a fancy pen. When Namjoon opens the book, he realizes it’s…blank. 

“What’s this one?” he asks, showing Jimin. 

“That’s a journal, for you to write all your poems in,” Jimin explains. 

Namjoon closes the journal softly, gazing at the little pile in front of him. 

“Do you…do you like them?” Jimin asks quietly, sounding worried. Namjoon notices that his scent is a bit anxious too, like he’s unsure how to read Namjoon’s response. Quickly, Namjoon raises his head to look at Jimin. 

“Joonie, why are you crying?” Jimin asks, hurrying to his side and instinctively nosing at his scent gland, trying to soothe him. Namjoon shakes his head; he’s not sad, or not exactly, or not just. 

“I…you got all of these just for me?” he asks. “They must have been so expensive, you shouldn’t have…” 

“Joonie, I’ve saved most of the extra money from anything I’ve traded for years. There’s never been much that I’ve wanted for myself, and now I know that I was just saving for the moment I had someone that I wanted to spoil. Of course I should have,” Jimin tells him. 

Namjoon bites on his lip. A part of him understands; he would give Jimin anything, wouldn’t hesitate to offer him every poem he writes for the rest of his life. He doesn’t really have money or other avenues of getting gifts for him though, so it makes him feel guilty that so much must have been spent on these books, books that he doesn’t need regardless of how much his fingers itch to page through them. 

“Plus, we went to a used bookstore. Lots of these books weren’t expensive at all, and I think the woman gave me a discount when I told her I was getting everything as part of a courting gift,” Jimin adds. 

“Do humans…have courting rituals?” Namjoon asks. He didn’t think so, and he assumed that the wolves just masqueraded as humans when they went to trade goods, but maybe he was wrong? 

“Not in the same way we do, of course, but it’s common to give gifts. It’s more of a show of wealth for humans, I think. Or maybe power? Regardless, she thought it was romantic,” Jimin says. 

“It is,” Namjoon breathes. It’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for him. He can’t believe that he owns so many books. “Did you read any of them yet?” 

Jimin shakes his head. “I like poems, but I thought it might be nice to read them together? Or you could share your favorites with me?” 

“I’d like that,” Namjoon says. He carefully looks at the cover of each book, trying to decide which one he wants to read first, but he finds it to be an impossible decision. They all look so interesting, so full of new knowledge, he can’t pick just one. “Will you choose which one we start with?” 

Jimin nods, easily selecting the book on top of the pile. “This one was actually recommended by the shop owner, she said she enjoys poetry too.” 

“ Transformations by Anne Sexton,” Namjoon reads. “Oh, it’s about different fairy tales! That’s such an interesting idea, I can’t wait to read it.” 

They move over to settle in Jimin’s little nest with the book, Jimin tucking himself against Namjoon’s chest so he can read along with him. However, after a few pages, Jimin starts to wiggle restlessly.

“What is it?” Namjoon asks him.

“Could you…will you read them out loud?” Jimin asks. “I know it sounds kind of silly, but I think hearing them aloud would help me understand them the best. And…and I like listening to your voice.” 

Namjoon is glad that Jimin can’t see him blushing over that. 

“Sure,” he replies. 

There was no possibility that the Namjoon of a year ago would have imagined his life like this. He never could have pictured himself having a mate. He never could have pictured that mate being as beautiful or as kind as Jimin. He never could have pictured Jimin on his chest, breathing peacefully while he listens to Namjoon reading poetry. He never could have imagined receiving a courting gift at all, let alone one so perfect. He never could have imagined embracing his alpha and discovering that he could be so much more than the alphas he’d known. 

He never could have imagined being this happy.

Chapter Text

Jimin’s first courting gift goes over well, minus a few overwhelmed tears. But he’s most excited to give Namjoon his bigger surprise. 

“You’re sure you actually hid this one well?” he asks Jungkook. He can’t believe that Namjoon almost saw the poetry books before Jimin could give them to him. He doesn’t even know how they got mixed in with the school books, but he’s glad that Namjoon wasn’t curious enough to open them, or at least that Jungkook was fast enough to stop him. 

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s literally in my cabin, I see it every day,” Jungkook says exasperatedly. 

“Well, I’m just making sure. I want it to be perfect,” Jimin says. 

“How are you going to give it to him?” Jungkook asks. “It’s kinda heavy, I don’t know if you can carry it anywhere.”

Jimin scowls at the implication; he’s plenty strong, thank you very much. “Well, I have to decide that part still. I could have you carry it somewhere, since you’re so big and strong.” Jungkook snorts. “Or I could give it to him in our cabin. But…I kind of want it to be a little more private than that? I mean, it’s not like anyone will be at the door listening in, but…”

“Actually, Taehyung probably would do that if he knew you were asking Namjoon about mating,” Jungkook giggles. “I can imagine it now.” 

“Okay, well, exactly then. So I was thinking about maybe using one of the heat cabins. Those are a little bit more private, and it won’t be too far to move his gift,” Jimin says. 

Jungkook nods slowly. “Yeah, that could work. And then we could all keep our innocence if he says yes.”

Jimin rolls his eyes, cheeks pink. “You certainly have a lot to say about it.”

“I can see the appeal, theoretically. If I were into sex, I bet Namjoon would be—”

“Alright, that’s enough out of you!” Jimin cuts him off. 

Jungkook giggles. “You know I’m just teasing, I won’t try to steal your alpha. I already have two betas, my hands are full.” 

“How is that going?” Jimin asks, softening. He knows that Jungkook hasn’t ever pursued another wolf before, so he was surprised when he expressed interest in not just one, but two. 

Jungkook smiles, his cheeks round. “It’s good. I like them a lot. They’re really sweet to me, and we’ve talked a lot so far about what it would look like to include me in their relationship. I think it’s going to work.” 

“I’m happy for you, Kookie,” Jimin says. He feels a sort of pride when he thinks about how far Jungkook has come from being a terrified omega to this quietly confident man. 

“I’m happy for you, too,” Jungkook tells him. “Now, let’s figure out a plan for you and Joonie, because if I have to see you two dance around finally mating for much longer I might combust.” 

Jimin has never attempted romance before, but he finds that with Namjoon, it comes incredibly naturally. He wants to take care of his alpha, wants to make sure that he’s always warm and fed and happy. He wants to shower him with gifts and affection and praise. He wants to plan dates and eat meals together and be pressed against his side at every possible moment. 

However, his idea of romance does not meet the grandeur of Taehyung’s idea of romance. 

“Don’t you think there should be flowers? Or music? Maybe a swarm of butterflies?” Taehyung suggests as they assess one of the nicer heat cabins together. 

“Where, exactly, do you think I’m going to acquire a swarm of butterflies?” Jimin asks. 

Taehyung shrugs. “I don’t know. You make amazing things happen when you put your mind to it. Maybe if you went out to the flower field and asked nicely?”

“Have you been drinking spirits or something?” Jimin laughs. 

Taehyung sighs. “No one understands my romantic notions. Except Namjoonie. Maybe I should ask him what he thinks about butterflies…”

Jimin shoves Taehyung’s shoulders. “You will do no such thing! Because then he’s going to want to know why, and you’re going to tell him, and then it won’t be a surprise when I ask him to mate.” 

“Fine, fine, but I’m going to ask him after, ” Taehyung pouts. “Why doesn’t Yoongi ever do anything romantic for me?” 

“Maybe because of the hundred or so times you’ve gone on a rant about how mating doesn’t define a relationship, and you don’t need a bite to know how you feel about someone, and that it’s all just part of the inherently anti-omega system?” Jimin asks. 

Taehyung shrugs. “We’ll probably never know.” 

Despite his romantic notions and silly suggestions, Taehyung is actually helpful with setting up the cabin. He has an eye for decor and knows just how to make everything seem cozy. 

“I want to say it’s my omegan instincts, but that seems sexist,” Taehyung comments. 

“Maybe it’s just your general wolf instincts?” Jimin suggests. “I mean, wolves do make dens, so it would make sense for you to be inclined to do that.” 

Taehyung nods. “We’ll go with that, then. Do you think you should bring some of the blankets and furs from your cabin? That might make it feel more welcoming and it would smell more like you.” 

“That’s a good idea,” Jimin says. “I was also thinking about bringing one of the books of poetry, since we’ve been reading those together.” 

“Now you’re getting the hang of things! That’s romantic,” Taehyung cheers. 

Jimin rolls his eyes. “What about some candles? We brought a few more back from the town, and we have plenty. We’ll need to be able to see enough to read.” 

Taehyung nods. “Scented or unscented? I may have a small backstock if you need options.” 

After a few hours of fiddling with all the details and only a couple of arguments about what is too much for a mating proposal, the heat cabin looks brand new. 

“We did a great job,” Jimin says, looking around proudly. There’s a cozy little nest in one corner, composed almost entirely of the blankets and furs from Jimin’s own nest. The small table is set with two places and a vase of flowers in fresh water. Candles adorn the windowsills and there is a small pile of books beside the nest. And in the center of the room, sitting atop a low table, is a box wrapped in a large bow, personally delivered by self-proclaimed muscle wolf Jungkook. There are no butterflies, no fancy platters or grand setups, but Jimin thinks it’s just right. 

“Are you going to ask him tonight, then?” Taehyung asks, wiggling excitedly. 

“Yeah, tonight is the night,” Jimin replies. He feels a burst of excitement in his belly, accompanied by a bit of anxiety. What if this is too fast for Namjoon? What if he doesn’t want to mate? What if he’s offended by Jimin being the one to ask him, when he was the one to request courtship? 

He shakes himself out of those thoughts. He knows that Namjoon doesn’t care for traditions in those ways, and that he’s on the same page as Jimin about mating. Every time Jimin’s mouth is near his neck, his gland, he can smell the desire in Namjoon’s scent. Beyond that, they’ve discussed it, in whispers and longing conversations at night, pressed against one another in their nest. Part of it is instinctual, the desire to bite and claim the wolf they see as theirs, but Jimin knows that Namjoon is more than just an alpha to claim. He’s his mate, his partner, the person he wants to know inside and out, the wolf whose mark he wants to carry proudly everywhere he goes, the alpha he wants to feel across their bond if ever they’re apart. 

Jimin also likes the idea of balance in their relationship, which can come from many places, but it seems right that since Namjoon asked for courtship, Jimin can ask for mating. It’s not a requirement, and he certainly wouldn’t be upset if Namjoon were the one to ask, but he’s enjoyed the planning and the buildup to getting to ask Namjoon something important as well. 

“Is Yoongi making anything special for you two?” Taehyung asks, breaking Jimin out of his thoughts. 

“He’s doing a pasta dish for us, car…carabonara or something like that?” Jimin says, stumbling over the pronunciation. He doesn’t know where Yoongi learned all his fancy chef words, but he definitely can’t keep up with them. 

“Carbonara? Ooh, that’s a good one. Simple but delicious, it’s perfect,” Taehyung says approvingly. “And I’m guessing that you’re the dessert?” 

Jimin snorts. “Maybe, we’ll see how it goes.”

“At least that’s not a no!” Taehyung giggles. “God, if you two are already this insufferable and you haven’t even fucked yet, I’m not sure I’m ready for anything more.” 

“We are not insufferable!” Jimin refutes. 

“Oh, so what do you call the leaving dinner early to cuddle, the gazing into each other’s eyes, the overwhelming scenting…” Taehyung begins to list.

“Okay fine, just say you don’t want us to be happy!” Jimin grumbles. 

Taehyung softens. “Of course I want you to be happy, you know I’m just kidding. I’m sure Yoongi and I were just as annoying in the beginning.” 

“Still are…” Jimin mumbles, but he doesn’t really mean it. He’s never been bothered by other wolves showing affection to one another; he thinks it’s sweet. He’s happy whenever he sees love blossoming in his pack, especially when it’s between wolves that might not have had an opportunity to experience it in their previous packs. He doesn’t want anyone to feel like they need to hold back for his sake. 

Taehyung just laughs at him. “All I’m saying is, you two are obviously in love, and you deserve it.” 

“Thanks, Tae,” Jimin replies, smiling to himself as he makes a few final adjustments to the nest.

It’s going to be the perfect night. 

The rest of the day seems to drag by, made more obvious by Namjoon’s absence. Jimin doesn’t see him at the school cabin, nor in the medicinal hut with Hoseok. He can’t be out with Taehyung, since Jimin has spent most of the day preparing the heat cabin with him. Maybe he’s out for a run with Jungkook? 

Jimin spots Seokjin with Yoongi, both of them stirring pots and chatting animatedly. He’s a little surprised at how quickly the two became friends, but Seokjin seems to draw Yoongi’s goofy personality out in an adorable way. 

“Hey, have either of you seen Namjoon? I wanted to ask him about dinner tonight,” Jimin asks, trying to be casual and communicate silently to Yoongi not to give away the plan. Although, as he looks more closely, it seems like it might be too late for that, since they seem to be working on the cara…carbonara. He really needs to remember that pronunciation for tonight. 

“I think he went out for a run with Jungkook not too long ago,” Seokjin says. “Kook has really latched onto him as a running buddy. He knows Namjoon can’t say no to his puppy eyes.” 

Jimin nods; he’s noticed that too. Jungkook is adorable when he wants to be, though if anyone ever calls him that, he’s quick to make a show of his strength and muscles in protest. “If you see them when they get back, will you tell Namjoon I was looking for him?” 

They both nod and Jimin wanders back to his cabin. He could get started on some of the organization for the pack history project he wants to start, cataloging all the wolves and their origins and stories, but he’s too antsy to really focus on something like that. Instead, he starts tidying little spots of his cabin, rearranging the books and straightening the remaining blankets, going through his clothing and finally landing on the poem Namjoon gave him when he asked Jimin to court him. 

He’s sitting on the floor reading it when Namjoon pokes his head in. 

“Hi, Jin said you were looking for me?” he asks. He looks a little bit flushed, his hair damp, likely from a swim after his run with Jungkook. Jimin smiles up at him and reaches out to pull Namjoon down to the floor with him. 

“I was, I wanted to see if you’d like to have dinner tonight, with just me?” he asks. Namjoon nods right away, looking down and realizing that Jimin is holding his poem. 

“What are you doing?” he asks. 

“Just reading. I love that it seems to say something new every time I read it,” he admits. “Have I mentioned that you’re very talented?” 

Namjoon shakes his head, then nods. “Well, yes, but I’m really not…especially reading more poems, it just makes me realize how much I don’t know.” 

“That doesn’t mean you aren’t talented already! In fact, I think it’s even more impressive. You’ll only get better with time,” Jimin says, leaning into Namjoon’s side. “I can’t wait to read all your poems over the years.” 

They stay there together for a while, Jimin listening to Namjoon’s heartbeat and his description of the cloud he saw earlier that looked just like Jimin’s tail. It’s very domestic, and Jimin almost forgets his anxiety about the evening to come. Then Namjoon’s stomach grumbles, and he is reminded all over again. 

“I guess going on those runs works up an appetite, hmm?” Jimin teases, sitting up and carefully placing the poem back on its shelf with the others. Namjoon blushes but nods.

“Jungkook said we could probably catch some fish in the river, but I don’t really like fish, and we’d have to wait to get back here to cook them anyway, so we just had some berries,” he says. 

“Well, lucky for you, Yoongi made us something special tonight, no fish involved,” Jimin tells him. 

“He did?” Namjoon looks very excited at the prospect. “So is tonight…a date?” 

Jimin nods. “It is, I wanted to spend some time with just you. I actually set up one of the heat cabins so we would have a bit more privacy. I hope that’s okay.” He doesn’t want Namjoon to feel like he’s proposing they have sex (although he wouldn’t say no if Namjoon wanted to). He just wants them to have a little more space from the pack than his own cabin provides. He wants tonight to feel intimate and secluded, just for them. 

“Yeah, it’s okay. That sounds really nice,” Namjoon says, his cheeks pink. He seems to be having trouble making eye contact with Jimin. He’s definitely thinking about other implications of privacy, Jimin thinks to himself. 

“Do you want to go see if he’s ready? I know he was working on cooking earlier, while you were out with Jungkook,” Jimin says. He’s more than ready to head out anyway, wants to get their night started. He always wants to spend time with Namjoon, but tonight he’s especially eager. He wants to see his reaction to his gift, wants to curl up beside Namjoon in their little nest, wants to be with him in every way possible. 

“Okay,” Namjoon says softly. 

Together, they walk out of the cabin, hands intertwined, looking around for any sign of Yoongi. 

“Yoon! Are you finished with the…the pasta?” Jimin asks hopefully. 

Yoongi smirks at him. “Yes Jimin, did you forget the name of the dish already?” 

Jimin shakes his head. “Car..bonara,” he says determinedly. 

Yoongi grins at him and extends his hand with a basket of food. “Here you go. I hope you enjoy it,” he says conspiratorially. 

“I’m sure we will, you’re an excellent cook,” Namjoon chimes in. 

My sweet, innocent alpha, Jimin thinks. He really has no idea. 

“Are you ready, Joonie?” he asks. 

“Yes, I just…I wanted to get one thing first, can you wait here?” Namjoon says. Shrugging, Jimin agrees. He has no idea what Namjoon could need for the surprise date he had no clue about until an hour ago, but he doesn’t mind waiting a few more minutes. He’s got an entire lifetime with Namjoon. 

Namjoon returns quickly, holding a small roll of parchment in his hand. 

“What’s that?” Jimin asks curiously. 

“Um…it’s a gift. I’ll give it to you later, when we’re alone,” Namjoon hedges. 

Interesting, Jimin thinks to himself. He hopes it’s another poem. He loves Namjoon’s poems, and he especially loves when he’s given one as a gift. 

They walk together, hand in hand, towards the small cluster of cabins outside the main camp. None of them are too close to one another, in case they need to use more than one at once. They’re also constructed with thicker walls and better materials to allow for privacy. Even so, Jimin selected the one furthest from the main grounds.

“Oh, you decorated?” Namjoon asks as they enter, looking around at the blankets and the table and flowers. 

“I wanted it to be romantic,” Jimin says. “Taehyung helped too.”

“He does love romance, doesn’t he?” Namjoon says. Jimin giggles; he’s glad he’s not the only one subject to Taehyung’s romantic daydreams. 

“He may have suggested that I enlist the help of a swarm of butterflies to woo you,” Jimin tells Namjoon. 

“And you didn’t do it?” Namjoon looks around playfully, as though trying to find the butterflies. 

Jimin sighs dramatically. “They were not agreeable to the plan, unfortunately. The flowers and candles will have to do. Speaking of which…” Jimin picks up a pack of matches to light the candles around the room. 

“Pretty,” Namjoon says softly. Jimin assumes that he’s talking about the candles, but when he turns from lighting the last one, he finds that Namjoon is looking at him. He’s glad that the cabin is dimly lit, or his blush might be much more apparent. As it is, he’s sure that his scent is swelling with pride at being pretty to his mate. 

He places their basket of food onto the table and starts to unpack the meal. Of course, Yoongi couldn’t be satisfied with just the pasta, so he also included several side dishes, vegetables, fruits and bread. All of it is so carefully packaged into containers, and it’s still warm, steam gently drifting from the lids as Jimin serves them each a plate. 

“Yoongi always outdoes himself, doesn’t he?” Namjoon asks, settling into one of the chairs. 

“He really does,” Jimin agrees. He makes sure that his alpha has plenty of food on his plate, eyeing Namjoon warningly when he looks like he might complain. 

As they eat their meal, Jimin listens to Namjoon recount his run with Jungkook and how he’s been getting a little faster, starting to keep up with him more easily. 

“Although, I think he might have been holding back for my sake,” Namjoon admits. “He’s honestly got way more energy than seems possible.” 

“Yeah, that’s definitely true. I felt like laying in bed for two days after we got back from traveling; meanwhile he’s already itching to go running within a few hours,” Jimin laughs. “It’s nice to have someone like that around, though. He actually helped carry your present here.”

“Present?” Namjoon asks. Apparently he hadn’t noticed the giant box sitting in the middle of the room. 

“Yeah, I couldn’t wait any longer to give it to you, and tonight seemed like the perfect opportunity,” Jimin says. He’s already cleared his plate, though Namjoon still has a couple of bites left. “Finish your food and we can open it.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want more? I really don’t need…” Namjoon trails off at the look from Jimin. “Okay, I get it! I’ll eat.” 

“You’re the one that went running today, you need the extra food,” Jimin chastises gently. “It makes me feel good when you eat well, anyway.” 

Namjoon nods. “I know, it’s just…a hard habit to break, I guess. I’m not quite used to someone looking out for me like that yet.” 

“You will be eventually,” Jimin tells him. “I plan on it.” 

Once Namjoon finishes and they’ve tucked all the dishes and containers back into the little basket, Jimin settles beside the table in the center of the cabin. “I picked this out for you when we were in town. I didn’t really know what I was looking for, exactly, so I had to ask around a bit. The shop owner assured me that this was the best one, and that it should last for a long time. There are a few smaller pieces to go with the big box, so you can choose which ones you want to open first.” 

Namjoon considers, but ultimately decides to open the large box first. He’s just as careful with unwrapping it as he was with the books, as though he doesn’t want to harm the paper or uncover the surprise sooner than he has to. 

“Jimin…” he says as the paper falls away from the box. “Is this…did you really…” 

“Open it all the way and see,” Jimin encourages. He’s planned and waited and kept this secret for so long, he just wants Namjoon to finally be able to enjoy it. 

Namjoon pulls the rest of the paper away, revealing a typewriter in a half-open protective case. It’s a sky blue color, something that inexplicably reminds Jimin of Namjoon. There were other colors, ones that didn’t stand out quite so much, but this was the one that seemed to be made for Namjoon. 

“You got me a typewriter,” Namjoon breathes, his hands hovering over the machine. 

“I did. And some things to go with it, if you want to open those too,” Jimin says, scooting the smaller gifts towards Namjoon. Namjoon opens them just as carefully, revealing the dusting kit, replacement ribbon, and packet of parchment pages. 

“It’s too much, this must have been so expensive…and how did you even get it back here?” Namjoon asks, eyes wide as he gazes between the typewriter and Jimin. 

“Well, you know Jungkookie, always bragging that he can carry the heaviest packages on our journeys. He was the one that brought it and hid it until I could give it to you,” Jimin explains. 

“I can’t believe you did this for me,” Namjoon says. 

“I wanted you to be able to write,” Jimin says. And it’s true. He’s seen the way that Namjoon writes as small as possible on his little scraps of parchment, trying to make sure he makes them last as long as he can. He’s seen him continuing to write in the dirt or the sand, drafting out his words over and over before committing them to paper. “I want you to know that I’ll always get you more paper, more ink, whatever you need. This is your passion, and you deserve to have everything you need for it.” 

Namjoon gazes silently at the typewriter. Jimin hopes this wasn’t the wrong move; he remembers Namjoon talking about the typewriter he had to leave behind so wistfully. He remembers the way he looked so broken-hearted when he mentioned it, the way he seemed to crave a way to create his art in a more permanent format. 

“Do you like it?” Jimin asks softly, needing to be sure. 

“I…of course, I love it. You’re sure this wasn’t too expensive, though?” Namjoon asks. 

“It wasn’t, I promise.” 

Even if the typewriter had been a million dollars, Jimin would never tell Namjoon, would never let him feel guilty for one beautiful gift when he deserves a thousand. 

“Thank you,” Namjoon says, looking teary but happier. 

“I wanted to ask you something else tonight too,” Jimin begins. Namjoon turns to face him, looking inquisitive. “We’ve been courting for a while now, and we’ve talked a bit about what we want in the future.”

Namjoon nods, looking unsure as to where Jimin is going.

“So, I just wanted to make sure we’re still on the same page with everything. I love spending time with you, and that feeling grows every night we spend together. I want to eat every meal with you, watch you flourish, and support you in everything you want to do. I want to be the one you turn to when you need someone to listen or to help, even if it’s something small. I want to keep taking you on dates and seeing the way you blush when I compliment you. I want to be a reason you feel empowered to keep using your talent for words. I want your scent on my skin when I wake and when I fall asleep. I want you, in every form, every iteration, for the rest of our lives.”

If Jimin thought that Namjoon looked teary before, well, he was wrong. The tears are now sliding down Namjoon’s cheeks, and Jimin pauses in his speech to brush them away gently, cupping Namjoon’s cheeks in his hands, pressing their foreheads together for a moment. 

“So, all of that to say…I wanted to give you this as a final courting gift, and to ask…if you’ll be my mate, officially. I want to wear your claim proudly, Namjoonie, and I hope you feel the same.” 

It takes Namjoon a few moments to be able to respond, to speak the words that Jimin hoped to hear, that his wolf felt certain he would, but that his mind whispered doubts about for weeks. 

“Yes, I’ll be your mate.” 

“You will?” Jimin asks, wanting to hear it again, wanting to make sure this is real. Namjoon laughs and reaches for him. 

“Of course I will, I…” he trails off, looking into Jimin’s eyes, his hands faltering at Jimin’s waist. 

“You what?” Jimin whispers, his mouth only inches away from Namjoon’s. 

“I love you,” Namjoon says. 

Jimin presses his lips to Namjoon’s, the happiness flooding through him. “I love you too,” he whispers between kisses, not wanting another inch of space between them. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to tell you for weeks, but I was worried it would be too fast, and I didn’t want to push you…”

“I have too, just…got anxious,” Namjoon breathes. “I thought maybe I needed to figure out better words or the perfect moment but…this is it. This is that moment.” 

“Let’s go to the nest, wanna show you how nice I made it,” Jimin suggests, though he mourns the handful of seconds he has to detach from Namjoon in order to make that happen. 

“You brought your blankets here?” Namjoon asks, noticing the familiar blues and greens from Jimin’s cabin. 

Jimin nods. “Wanted it to smell right, but I also added a few new ones. This one, the gray fur, and this one, the white knitted blanket. Kinda looks like our wolves.” 

Namjoon is quiet for a moment. “You know, I used to think that being a gray wolf was terrible. The most boring color. And when I saw you, I just wondered…what would it be like, to be so beautiful?” 

Jimin whines. “Your wolf is beautiful too. I’ve always thought so.” 

Namjoon nods. “I know you have. It made me think about why I was so convinced that my wolf wasn’t good enough. I think it was everything that also made me believe being an alpha had to be all these specific, terrible things. Stereotypes, prejudice, that nagging voice inside my head. But meeting you, and the pack…I’m slowly learning how to combat all of that. And I think these—” he motions to the new additions to the nest—”just show that there’s more than one way to be good.” 

“Come here,” Jimin tugs him into the nest, needing Namjoon as close as possible. “Want my beautiful wolf here.” 

Namjoon carefully climbs on top of Jimin, sliding his leg between Jimin’s thighs and nosing against his neck, breathing in his scent. “Smell so good, my beta,” he groans. 

“Yours,” Jimin breathes. 

Namjoon takes his time sucking on Jimin’s scent gland, not even seeming to notice that Jimin’s hips keep thrusting up against his thigh. He’s too busy drowning in Jimin’s scent, sweeter and sweeter with every lick of Namjoon’s tongue, every gentle brush of his teeth. 

“Joonie…do you…should we,” Jimin pants, finding himself unable to actually form a full question. He hadn’t exactly planned beyond asking Namjoon to mate him, isn’t sure if Namjoon wants to claim him tonight, or if they should have an actual ceremony with the pack first. Jimin doesn’t really mind either way, and honestly, his body is begging for a bite right now , but he wants to ask before they get carried away. 

“Hmm?” Namjoon mumbles into his neck, his hands tracing along Jimin’s waist. 

“Can we…can we pause for a second?” Jimin manages. “Just…wanna ask something.” 

Namjoon pulls away from his scent gland, eyes hazy but trying to focus on Jimin. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, just…do you want to mate tonight, or…?” Jimin asks. “We can do a ceremony, anything you want, wait for a full moon if you wanna be traditional…”

Namjoon considers. “I…can we wait? Wanna…wanna talk about it more, but I can’t think straight right now, just need…” 

Jimin nods. “Yeah, need you too.” 

As much as Jimin wants Namjoon’s bite now, as easily as he knows he would bear his neck to his alpha at any opportunity, he also knows that Namjoon is right. They need to talk more, decide where their mating bites will go (well, Jimin already knows that he wants his on his neck) and if Namjoon wants to knot him…

Namjoon goes back to nosing at his neck, suckling tiny bruises into Jimin’s skin, making him preen at the thought of any marks that will be left behind. He’s so warm, blanketing Jimin’s body, that Jimin can hardly stand to have his clothes on anymore. In fact, why does he still have clothes on? 

Somehow, Jimin manages to wriggle out of his shirt, and Namjoon immediately moves to the newly exposed skin, licking against Jimin’s nipples. Jimin whines, jolts of pleasure flooding down his chest as Namjoon’s teeth brush his skin. 

“Joonie, can you…can you take yours off too?” he whimpers. He wants to feel Namjoon against him, wants only the warmth that his alpha can provide. Namjoon is quick to comply, and actually…actually, he complies too well, because before Jimin knows it, his shirt and his pants are off, and… oh. 

They’ve spent a lot of time in Jimin’s nest together, touching and kissing and feeling other parts, thighs and hips and chests. Namjoon has probably grabbed Jimin’s ass a few more times than he’d be willing to admit. But they’ve both shied away from below the waist for the most part. Some of that, Jimin thinks, was just due to the lack of privacy in his cabin, not wanting to share those intimate moments and sounds with the entire pack. Some of it was probably the lack of experience on Namjoon’s part, the anxieties that still clearly run through him. 

But if Jimin had known…if he had known just how gorgeous Namjoon is without his clothes, with his hard cock and the hint of his knot all flushed with arousal…he probably would have forgotten every one of those reasons. 

Jimin is able to shake off his amazement long enough to get out of his own pants, and then Namjoon is back on top of him, and every inch of them is pressed together, and Jimin doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to go back to the chaste nights with Namjoon half clothed in his bed. 

He lets his hands wander, first running through Namjoon’s silvery-gray hair, which has gotten longer in the last few months. He’s pleased to find that when he tugs slightly, Namjoon moans against him. He skims his fingers along Namjoon’s shoulders, his muscular arms, feeling him shiver against the light touch. He keeps going, feeling the strength of his back, the slight taper of his waist, the swell of his ass. He grips him there, guiding Namjoon’s hips to slide against him. 

“Fuck, Joonie, you’re so…” he doesn’t even know how to express the way it feels to have his alpha hard against his thigh, the way his beta is preening at the precum sticking to the fine hair on his legs, marking him further in Namjoon’s scent. He doesn’t know how to explain the way that he both desperately wants Namjoon to fuck him, but also wants to flip them over and open him up, see how pretty he looks getting filled. 

“Jimin, need…need you,” Namjoon whines against his chest. He seems almost lost to his own desire, desperate to touch and taste and lick but unsure exactly how to begin. 

“I’ve got you, alpha,” Jimin promises, shifting to press Namjoon into the bed. “I’ll give you whatever you want, just tell me if you need me to stop, okay?” 

Namjoon nods, his legs splayed apart, perfectly displaying himself for Jimin. His cock is flushed and hard, curving against his belly, dark hairs curling around the base and his balls. Jimin pauses to admire his alpha, until said alpha starts to wriggle and whine. 

“Min, please…” he asks so softly. 

“Please what? I need to know what you want, what you’ll take,” Jimin says, tracing his fingers along the insides of Namjoon’s thigh. 

“Want…want your mouth,” Namjoon decides. 

“Okay, baby, how about here?” Jimin asks, kissing Namjoon’s thigh, his hip, licking teasingly at the base of his cock. “Is that what you want?”

Namjoon nods, then shakes his head. “More, please.” 

Jimin giggles at Namjoon’s polite request. Oh, he loves his pliant alpha. And he wants to tease him all night, but he also very much wants to get his mouth on his cock, his ass, everywhere. He gently suckles at the head of Namjoon’s cock, letting the pleasing taste of his precum saturate his tongue, humming in satisfaction. He lets him go, chuckling softly at Namjoon’s whine of disappointment, followed by a gasp as Jimin licks against his hole. 

“What about here, Joonie?” he asks, lips inches away. “Is that what you wanted? Want me to eat you out?” 

“N-no…” Namjoon says, but he doesn’t sound at all sure. 

“No?” Jimin asks, his lips so close to Namjoon’s rim, his tongue giving the tiniest teasing lick. “Seems like you’re enjoying it, though.” 

“A-ah, alphas don’t…” Namjoon trails off, and Jimin looks up at him. 

“Alphas don’t what? Deserve to be pleased? Deserve to have their pretty holes licked and sucked? I think you do deserve it, Joonie. Wanna make my alpha feel good,” Jimin says. He watches Namjoon closely for signs of discomfort. He doesn’t want to push too hard, but he has a feeling that this is just one of the many rhetorics he’ll need to continue unlearning. 

“But…but want you to feel good too,” Namjoon protests weakly. 

“Oh, baby. I do feel good. I feel good doing this—” he licks leisurely across Namjoon’s hole, letting his spit drip down onto the blankets—”and I’ll feel good when I get my fingers in you too, get you nice and ready for my cock. How does that sound?” 

Namjoon whines. “You…you want to?” 

Jimin pauses. He wants to make sure that Namjoon is okay before he continues. “Of course I do, but I want to be with you any way you’re comfortable. I’d love to fuck you, but if that’s too much right now…or ever, that’s okay too. Just tell me what you want, Joonie.” 

Namjoon wriggles a bit, his cock still reassuringly hard. “I…I hadn’t thought about it before. Just…thought I’d have to top? But…but I think I want to try both, please?” 

Jimin preens at the polite request. “Of course, baby. I’d love to ride your big cock, feel you make me come with just that. But tonight, let me take care of you, okay?” 

Namjoon nods, hand reaching for Jimin’s, and he happily laces their fingers while going back to Namjoon’s ass. “Have you ever touched yourself here?” he asks, tracing one finger of his free hand along Namjoon’s hole. Namjoon shakes his head. “No? Never tried to find your prostate?” Another head shake. 

Oh, this is going to be fun, Jimin thinks to himself. He’s so eager to make Namjoon feel good, and he’s even more excited to see how he reacts to a good prostate massage.

Jimin rummages around the top of the nest, producing a little bottle of oil. It’s something they often get on their trips into town, though usually under the pretext of using it for cooking. He pours a bit onto his fingers, making sure it’s warm before pressing against Namjoon’s skin. “Gonna start with one, okay baby?” 

He can feel Namjoon getting tense, so he leans forward to take the head of his cock back between his lips. As he feels him relax again, he slides just the first knuckle of his finger inside. 

“Okay?” he asks, letting Namjoon’s cock fall from his mouth. 

“Feels…feels weird,” Namjoon says. 

“But not bad? Doesn’t hurt?” Jimin checks. 

“No…it’s okay. Feels good when…when you had me in your mouth too,” Namjoon says, and Jimin can just hear the blush in his tone. He wants to tease and tease and tease, wants to see his alpha dripping for him, wants to make him come so prettily on his cock, but he reminds himself that they’ll have so much time for all of that. 

“Okay, I’ll keep sucking your cock, baby,” Jimin says, and goes right back to work. He licks at Namjoon’s length, getting him nice and slick, tasting every drop of precum from his tip. He suckles at the head of his cock, tracing each line with his tongue. And all the while, he continues to slowly stretch Namjoon on one, then two fingers. Each time he feels Namjoon start to tense, he sucks more intently at his cock, distracting him as he curves his fingers, searching…

“Ah!” Namjoon yelps and jolts. 

Jimin hums in satisfaction around his cock. Found it, he thinks. He rubs the pads of his fingers against Namjoon’s prostate, relishing at the way his body shivers in response. 

“Min, Jiminie…fuck, what…” Namjoon babbles, seeming unsure if he should press into Jimin’s touch or pull away. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Jimin says, stroking slowly over Namjoon’s cock with his other hand. 

“Feels…like I’m gonna explode? Or pee?” Namjoon says. 

Jimin giggles. “Poor alpha, never had his prostate stimulated. Imagine this was my cock,” Jimin presses hard into the little gland and Namjoon moans. “It’s going to feel so good.” 

Now that he’s found Namjoon’s prostate, stretching him becomes a much easier task. Jimin adds a bit more oil to his fingers, making sure his mate never feels pain, only pleasure. He alternates between teasing Namjoon’s prostate and swallowing around his cock, keeping him as relaxed as possible. 

“Look so good with my fingers in you, angel,” he says, watching his fourth finger slip easily inside of Namjoon. “Gonna look even better on my cock, aren’t you?” 

Namjoon whimpers in response, his hips pressing ever so slightly back against Jimin’s fingers, like he’s trying to guide them back to his prostate. Jimin smiles as he watches his alpha respond so well to him. 

“Are you ready for my cock, Joonie?” he asks softly, watching Namjoon closely for his response. Honestly, he’d be happy just making Namjoon come like this; he can feel his own cock aching from the view alone. He doesn’t want to push Namjoon too hard, but he also very much wants to fuck his alpha. 

“Want it…but…” Namjoon seems to struggle with finding his words. 

“What do you want, baby?” Jimin encourages, tracing his fingers along Namjoon’s hip. 

“Can you go slow?” Namjoon asks shyly, looking anywhere but at Jimin. “Just…wanna feel you, but ‘m nervous.” 

“Of course, I’ll go as slow as you want,” Jimin promises. He slicks up his cock with the oil, making sure every inch is covered. He doesn’t want a moment of this to be painful for Namjoon. He can’t help leaning down for a kiss, wanting to breathe him in, to be as close as possible. 

“Min, please…” Namjoon mumbles against his mouth, and Jimin laughs. 

“Okay, angel, you’ve been so patient, haven’t you?” Jimin says. He stays where he is, though, wanting to watch Namjoon’s face, wanting to be able to kiss him and suck on his scent gland while he fucks him slow. He guides his cock to Namjoon’s hole, pressing until just the head slides in. Namjoon whimpers and squirms under him. “Feel okay, Joonie?” 

“Feels…full,” Namjoon says, and Jimin can’t help his giggle. 

“Feels full already? That’s just the tip, baby.” 

Still, Jimin lets him adjust, kissing Namjoon until he forgets about being full, until Jimin can slide his cock a bit further, a bit more. He licks into Namjoon’s mouth, sucks on his neck, bites softly around his scent gland; anything to distract him until Jimin is fully inside. Namjoon pants into his mouth, his eyes glazed, scent thick and so intoxicating. 

“How about now, Joonie? Feel full?” Jimin asks, and Namjoon only whines. “Do you want me to move? Or do you just like being full, keeping my cock nice and warm?” 

Namjoon shifts his hips a bit, and apparently it’s all he needs, because he moans and tosses his head back. 

“Oh, did I hit your prostate again?” Jimin teases, grinding his hips forward, letting his cock press against that spot again. Namjoon’s legs jerk and he whimpers, but his hands go to Jimin’s hips, not letting him back off at all. 

“Jimin. Min, need…move, please,” Namjoon says. 

“Ready for me to fuck you now?” Jimin asks, letting his cock slide out just a few inches. 

“Mmm, ready,” Namjoon agrees. 

Jimin goes slow, just like Namjoon requested, only pulling out a little bit at first, letting Namjoon adjust to the stretch, the feeling of being fucked. When Namjoon finally starts to pull at Jimin’s hips, encouraging him to move, he starts to give him languid thrusts, pulling out nearly all the way and searching for that perfect spot each time he presses back against Namjoon. 

It’s lucky he wanted it slow. He feels so good, this is the only way I’ll last, Jimin thinks to himself. Namjoon is so tight around him, even with the extensive stretching, even with four fingers to prep and plenty of oil to keep him slick. 

Finally, when he doesn’t think he can last much longer, Jimin grinds against Namjoon’s prostate, feeling him start to spasm around his cock. 

“Gonna come for me, Joonie?” he asks, and Namjoon nods, biting at his lip. “Do you wanna knot my hand?”

“Don’t…don’t like knotting,” Namjoon shakes his head. 

“Okay, Joonie, you don’t have to, just want you to feel good,” Jimin says. They’ll have to talk more about that later—does he not like knotting at all? Jimin would happily take his knot if he wanted, but he doesn’t need it, especially if Namjoon doesn’t feel good about doing it. 

For now, Jimin leans in to nip at Namjoon’s neck, licking over the red marks he leaves behind. He keeps up his small thrusts against Namjoon’s prostate, keeps his firm strokes over Namjoon’s cock. Namjoon is hardly coherent, just whining and moaning against Jimin. All it takes is a final suck against his scent gland and Jimin feels Namjoon coming, clenching around his cock, warm cum spilling against Jimin’s fingers. 

“Fuck, yes Joonie, come all over me,” he encourages, stroking him through every moment. When Namjoon goes limp beneath him, Jimin carefully pulls out and uses his come-covered hand to stroke himself. He’s so close, the sight and smell of his sated alpha beneath him already nearly enough to push him over the edge.

“Jimin,” Namjoon whispers, eyes cracking open to watch Jimin’s hand. 

“Yeah, baby?” 

“You can come on me,” Namjoon tells him, and Jimin doesn’t need to hear more than that. In seconds, his body grows warmer, his orgasm washing over him in waves. He thinks he could almost come a second time, seeing his cum all over Namjoon’s thighs and stomach. He resists the urge to rub it into Namjoon’s skin, though based on the twitch of interest in Namjoon’s cock, he’s not sure his mate would be opposed to that. 

Ignoring the fact that it will only make them messier, Jimin presses himself to Namjoon’s chest, kissing him slowly. Namjoon responds in kind, his lips lazy and gentle. Jimin could kiss him forever. Will kiss him forever, he’s going to be mine, he thinks hazily. 

After their kisses turn even slower, hardly more than mouths remaining pressed together, Jimin pulls back a bit, checking Namjoon’s face for any signs of distress or pain. “How do you feel?” he asks. 

“Happy,” Namjoon replies, his hand tracing the contours of Jimin’s face wonderingly. “Love you.” 

“I love you too,” Jimin says. “We should probably get cleaned up before we go to sleep, hmm?” 

Namjoon frowns. “I…I like smelling like you, though.”

Jimin laughs. “I should have known you’d like that. I’ll scent you some more after, how about that? You’ll feel all sticky if we don’t at least wipe down.” 

Namjoon begrudgingly agrees, and Jimin grabs a few towels to clean them up. Even though he knows it’s illogical, he does feel a pang of regret, wiping away his scent from Namjoon. He shakes his head, knowing that he’ll definitely regret it if he lets them wake up in a damp, sticky nest. 

Instead, he makes up for it by carefully scenting every inch of Namjoon he can reach, interspersed with breaks to kiss him, making sure his alpha feels good. He nuzzles against Namjoon’s neck, his chest, even daring to press against the scent glands by his inner thighs. 

“Jimin…we’re gonna have to clean again if you keep that up,” Namjoon squirms, and Jimin can smell the beginnings of arousal from his position between Namjoon’s legs. 

“Sorry, just…you smell so good down here,” Jimin says, begrudgingly moving back to snuggle against Namjoon’s chest. They lay quietly for a while, pressed together at every possible place. Jimin loves having all of this skin to touch, loves feeling Namjoon’s warmth so intimately. 

After a while, his beta itches inside of him to confirm one more time that Namjoon is okay. It’s one of his stronger instincts, to care for the wolves around him, to make sure that they don’t hurt or need anything from him. He tried to deny it, since it was one of the more stereotypical beta behaviors, but…truthfully, he thinks all of the subgenders have some caretaking instincts, so he’s willing to accept that his are just especially strong. 

“Joonie, was everything good for you? Are you sore?” he asks softly, letting his hands circle comfortingly along Namjoon’s belly. He hasn’t spent nearly enough time appreciating his alpha’s soft tummy, the skin so warm and pleasing and vulnerable, all exposed to him. It makes his beta feel like purring, knowing that his mate feels safe enough to lay belly up beside him. 

“It was so good, Min. You take such good care of me,” Namjoon replies. “I feel…a little sore, maybe, but not too bad.” 

“We’ll rest tomorrow, then. Don’t want you to hurt,” Jimin says. 

Namjoon laughs. “Well, I don’t know if we can just take the day off every time you want to fuck me, but maybe just this once.” 

Jimin giggles too, but secretly he thinks that he will definitely be taking days off to fuck his mate in the future.

Chapter Text

Namjoon can’t believe that he’s going to have a mate. And he really can’t believe that his mate is going to be Jimin. 

Though he’s sure no one will believe it based on the way he and Jimin were drenched in one another’s scents upon their return to the pack, they did actually spend a lot of time talking too. Talking about how they wanted to mate, whether they wanted to abide by any of the traditions, whether they wanted any sort of ceremony or involvement from the pack. 

“Our pack was traditional, but there wasn’t a lot of…romance involved in mating,” Namjoon explained to Jimin. “Usually the alphas would select an omega, and the pack alpha would approve the selection, and within the week they’d have a bite. Since the bond was more of…an ownership thing, he didn’t care about making it under the full moon or doing any sort of ceremony.” 

“Oh, Joonie. I’m sorry, that sounds awful. Especially for the omegas,” Jimin said. “Our pack was also traditional in a lot of ways, but they at least believed in developing bonds for those that wanted to. We had quite a few mating ceremonies and most wolves did prefer to mate at the full moon.” 

Namjoon glanced away shyly. “Actually…I was already thinking of doing something for the full moon…”

Jimin tilted his head in question. “Oh?”

“I…I wanted to tell you that I’m in love with you,” Namjoon admitted.

Jimin giggled, gently holding Namjoon’s face in his hands. “I guess I stole your moment, hmm? But we can still have a romantic night, angel. You can tell me again, and I’ll pretend it’s the first time, if you want.”

Namjoon crinkled his nose at Jimin, but he couldn’t be upset. Not now, when they were planning their official mating at the full moon instead. And especially not when Jimin gave him apologetic kisses. 

They agreed that there was no need for anything extravagant, but it would be nice to share a mating ceremony with the pack. Jimin explained that the pack also does a forest run together to celebrate the full moon, which sounded like a lovely start to the night. After that, they could retreat to one of the cabins for privacy to exchange bites and finalize the bond. Jimin insisted that they would need at least a few days to themselves, and while Namjoon doubted that “need” was the right word, he certainly didn’t argue with Jimin. 

“Where do you want your bite?” Jimin asked him, and Namjoon shivered at the thought. There were so many options, so many places he would happily take Jimin’s mouth, his teeth. He could have a bite on his thigh, a place Jimin seems to like very much. He could have it on his shoulder, or his wrist. But…

“I want it on my neck, here,” Namjoon showed Jimin, right over his scent gland. The most traditional placement, and also thought to be the most effective at creating a bond between a wolf and their mate. 

“Me too,” Jimin agreed. “We’ll match, then.”

With all the major decisions made between them, they return to the pack to announce their mating will occur at the next full moon, in two weeks time. Namjoon is pleased, if a bit overwhelmed, to be surrounded by celebration and excitement over the announcement. It’s comforting to know that the pack continues to support their bond. 

And of course, Taehyung is perhaps the most excited and supportive of all. 

“Oh, we have so much to plan!” he cheers happily. “Are you going to wear anything special? Will you be doing the bite in front of the pack? Are you going to have a mating chase? Wait, did you already fuck or are you saving yourselves for mateship? Though, it might be a little late for Jimin…”

“Taehyung!” Jimin growls. “We are not doing any of that. It’s just going to be a simple ceremony so we can celebrate with the pack. No public biting, no chasing, and no questions about our sex life. Namjoonie is shy.” 

“Am not shy…” Namjoon says, but he is a little. He doesn’t have any experience besides Jimin, and it seems like Jimin probably has plenty. He tries not to be self-conscious about it, but he definitely doesn’t need that announced to the pack at large. He would definitely prefer to keep their sex life private. But it doesn’t mean he’s shy. 

“Ugh, fine. What about vows?” Taehyung asks. 

Jimin looks at Namjoon. “What do you think?” 

Namjoon considers. He’d have to speak in front of the whole pack, which is a little intimidating. He doesn’t like reading his work aloud; he even gets nervous with just Jimin. But it does feel like a romantic idea, to tell Jimin why he wants to be his mate in front of everyone. 

“Can I think about it?” he asks. 

“Of course, no pressure,” Jimin replies, taking his hand. “We’re going to bathe now,” he tells Taehyung, tugging Namjoon away. 

Namjoon doesn’t really want to bathe; he likes having the remnants of their combined scents on his skin. But he also has gotten far too many knowing looks after only being back for half an hour, so he supposes it’s for the best. 

Jimin can always scent him again later. 

Even for a small ceremony, there is a fair amount of planning to be done in quite a short time frame. They have to decide on outfits, location, food, decorations…the list seems endless. Namjoon can only imagine what it would be like if they let Taehyung take the reins and plan the ceremony he wants. They probably would have to wait for an entirely different full moon. 

Namjoon thinks carefully for a few days about exchanging mating vows, and ultimately decides he does want to write something for Jimin. Even if he doesn’t end up sharing it publicly, he thinks it’s important to document and write out all the emotions he feels about his mate in these early days. He’s a little afraid of what time will do to those feelings, since he hasn’t seen or known romantic love that lasts before. 

But…he can hope that this is it. And he’ll always have these words to remember where it began. 

“Tae, did you ever write anything for Yoongi?” he asks one afternoon as they’re looking over options for a menu. Yoongi wrote out a number of recipes he could put together, and Namjoon is honestly overwhelmed in making selections. 

“Oh, definitely not. That is not my strong suit. I wish I could write like you,” Taehyung says, flipping over the page to inspect the dessert options. 

“Did you two have a ceremony or anything, since you decided not to exchange bites?” 

“We didn’t really. Maybe that’s why I like helping to plan for people that do?” Taehyung muses. “It’s not necessarily that I wish we were traditionally mated, because if that was it, we could easily just exchange bites. It’s more…there just aren’t many parts of life that are inherently considered romantic, right? So there’s more purpose and intent in the ways that we find to express love.” 

Namjoon nods thoughtfully. “I see what you mean. I definitely want to keep that sort of mindset even after we’re mated.” 

Taehyung smiles at him. “Happy to inspire you. Now, what do you think about this cake, but asking Yoongi to make it five-tiered?” 

Really, Namjoon is happy to defer to Taehyung for many of the decisions regarding their ceremony. He likes all sorts of food (except seafood), all sorts of flowers. He hasn’t ever had any especially nice clothes, so he doesn’t even know where to begin when Taehyung opens up a chest of pretty silk robes and dress clothes for him to look through. 

“Some of the pack brought these with them, others we’ve either made or bought for other ceremonies. Since we don’t do many formal celebrations or rituals, it made most sense to keep them as communal items, unless someone had particular pieces they wanted to keep,” Taehyung explains. 

Namjoon lets a pastel pink robe slide between his fingers, admiring the way the material is almost like water. “They’re all so beautiful. Is there anything you think would look good?” 

Of course, Taehyung has plenty of opinions, and he makes Namjoon try on far too many outfits before declaring that the second one he put on is the best. 

“You couldn’t have known that an hour ago?” Namjoon grumbles. 

“Nope, I needed to see everything on you!” Taehyung replies cheerfully. 

Namjoon has no idea what Jimin has selected to wear, but Taehyung assures him that he won’t allow them to clash. 

The last major decision is where to hold the ceremony. There are plenty of beautiful places in the pack’s territory, many of which Namjoon has explored with Jimin. He considers the flower field where he first selected a bouquet for Jimin, the redwood trees where he’s run so often with Jungkook, even the main pack grounds themselves, where he’s slowly become more comfortable with his new life. But he keeps circling back to the clearing where he first saw Jimin, the place where he met the white wolf and wondered for the first time if things could be different. 

“Do you think it would be too risky to do the ceremony there?” he asks Taehyung. He knows that it’s technically at the border of their territory, but since he’s not doing patrols for his old pack anymore…might a new alpha be responsible for that? Would they be looking for signs of Namjoon? 

“I don’t think it would be,” Taehyung says thoughtfully. “It seems more like fate than anything that you and Jimin met. We’ve been here for years and never seen anyone else from your pack. But if it’s going to stress you out, we have other options.” 

It is a little stressful, but Namjoon can’t help but feel that spot is the one. It feels like the essence of their relationship is laced into the water, the rocks, the air. It’s where he asked Jimin to court him officially, it’s where they had their first kiss. It feels deeply romantic. 

“I think it has to be there,” Namjoon decides. “We’ll be there in the late afternoon anyway, so even if there was a chance for crossover with a patrol, they’d be long gone by then.” 

Taehyung nods. “I think you’re right, it’s the perfect spot. Now I’ll just need to get a group together to transport all the decor, and the food…” 

Namjoon leaves the rest to Taehyung; he trusts that he won’t go too far overboard, if only to avoid Jimin’s wrath at disobeying his directions. The important parts are all taken care of, and he can just focus on writing his vows. 

Since he’s never heard mating vows exchanged before, he’s not sure exactly how they should go. Is there a format? A length requirement? Specific words that he needs to say in order to make it fitting? He wishes there were some sort of reference material for these kinds of things, though he’s sure that if there were, it would be riddled with subgender stereotypes. 

He tries writing in a sort of essay style, but he can’t make it flow the way he wants. It feels too formal, too clunky. It doesn’t seem right for the occasion. He tries making it more of a speech, inserting little bits of wit and humor, but that doesn’t seem right either. It’s not a toast, it’s a declaration of love and commitment. It doesn’t need to be entertaining, he tells himself. It needs to reflect your heart. 

And truly, he should have realized from the beginning: the best way he can do that is by writing a poem. 

He finds himself wandering to a little clearing with plenty of dirt to start drafting. He’s well aware that he has an entire journal and a typewriter now. And he really does plan to use them, but he doesn’t want to waste the materials on his first drafts. He thinks it might be nice to have some pieces of the draft process in the journal to look back on, and the final product will certainly be typed. He just needs to organize his thoughts first. 

He’s using his claws to draw out a few concept maps when he hears someone padding up behind him. Listening, he can tell it’s not Jimin, so he doesn’t haphazardly erase his progress.

“Didn’t I lug an entire typewriter here so you wouldn’t have to write in the dirt?” Jungkook asks, emerging from the bushes. 

“I’m going to use it! Just…once I have something good,” Namjoon mumbles, staring down at his scribbles. 

“I don’t think you’re capable of writing anything bad…although I’m not sure you need quite so many mentions of Jimin’s eyes,” Jungkook says, squinting at the words in the dirt. 

Namjoon scowls at him. “He has pretty eyes.” 

“Sure, but isn’t one line enough? You don’t see me calling Hobi’s eyes stars and lights and…does that say tender flames?” Jungkook giggles. 

“It’s a work in progress, but I see your point. Brevity is appreciated,” Namjoon sighs. 

“Maybe a run would take your mind off of things? I’m also open to swimming,” Jungkook suggests. 

“You think you can come out here, insult my poem, and then talk me into a run?” Namjoon says. Jungkook just pouts sadly and of course, Namjoon caves. 

Once they’ve shifted, they take their usual route through the woods, Jungkook leaping over tree trunks and bouncing off rocks like the world is his personal obstacle course. Namjoon does his best to remain on a more straightforward path, avoiding any excessive exertion or risk to his general bodily well-being. 

Come on, slowpoke! Jungkook yips to him as Namjoon starts to slow down. We still have a few minutes until we get to the river! 

Why do you have so much energy? Namjoon huffs back. 

It’s called youth, you might remember it, Jungkook teases as he bounds forward. It really is quite amazing to watch him; his wolf is beautiful in action, fur shining in the flashes of sunlight between tree branches, eyes alight with happiness. Jungkook was made to be in the woods, made to be a strong wolf, made to hunt and run and be free. Namjoon can’t imagine him in any other pack; no omega in his old pack ever looked so joyful. 

When they reach the river, Namjoon is happy to wade in up to his belly and flop into the cool water. He wishes he could just float in his wolf body, but laying in the shallow part of the river will have to do. His fur grows heavy and he feels pleasantly grounded. 

How are things going with Seokjin and Hoseok? he asks Jungkook. He sees them together often now, sometimes in pairs but more often all three of them at once. He thinks he’s even seen Jungkook padding out of their cabin on a few mornings, his hair rumpled from sleep and eyes only half-open. 

It’s good. We don’t have to be quite so official with our courtship, so I don’t know how public our relationship is. Which is fine, I like the privacy, Jungkook says as he doggy paddles back and forth past Namjoon. 

Do you ever think about mating? Namjoon asks. He’s curious as to how that would work with three wolves instead of two. He’s heard about small packs that are all mated, and knows about alphas that take multiple omega mates, but he doesn’t know about a courtship between three wolves. Would they all need to bite each other? Who would go first? Would one bond be stronger than another? 

Maybe, if we all wanted it. It’s just…mates like us aren’t common, you know? I’m a little scared that it wouldn’t work, or that the bond would mess things up since it’s not just two of us. 

Namjoon nods; that’s exactly what he was thinking. Well, Taehyung and Yoongi aren’t mated, but they’re still mates. I don’t think the bite is what matters the most, you know? 

Yeah, you’re right. I still…I think some of it is instinctual, the way that I still want it, even though there’s a risk. But maybe that’s good, and it means my instincts are telling me it would work out? Jungkook wonders. 

Maybe. I don’t think you’ll know without doing it, but that does seem like a good sign, Namjoon tells him. 

For now, I just like being with them. It’s nice, having someone to scent and hold and sleep next to, Jungkook says. 

I knew I saw you sneaking out of their cabin! Namjoon accuses. 

I wasn’t sneaking! It’s not like we’re fucking. Or at least, I’m not, Jungkook replies, and Namjoon can just hear the smirk in his tone. 

Ew, no, I do not need to hear anything about my best friends fucking, he growls lightly. 

You mean you don’t want to know— Jungkook doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Namjoon leaps from his spot in the water to dunk Jungkook. Of course, he doesn’t stand a chance against the wily omega, and they’re both quickly soaked to the bone and panting. But the distraction works, and he doesn’t have his poor brain tainted by images of his best friends doing…anything. 

They shake off their fur before stretching out in the sun for a bit. Once they run home, the breeze will help to dry off the rest of the water, but it’s nice to lounge a while before going back to their workout. 

So, did this help you come up with any more ideas for your poem? Jungkook asks. 

Hmm. I’m not sure. I just want it to turn out perfect, especially knowing that everyone will hear it. So I think I’m just getting into my head about it, Namjoon admits. Like, it has to be the greatest thing I’ve ever written. 

It will be great, but I don’t think you need to put that much pressure on yourself. Just write what comes naturally, and then add a little pizzazz, Jungkook suggests. 

Pizzazz? Namjoon tilts his head. 

Yeah! You know, sparkle. Like Jimin’s eyes. 

I’ll tackle you again, Namjoon warns. 

And you’ll lose again, Jungkook quips. 

Deciding it’s not worth getting covered in sand and dirt while his fur is still wet, Namjoon opts not to follow through on his threat. But that’s the only reason. He’s definitely going to tell Seokjin and Hoseok that their little wolf is getting far too sassy these days. 

“Oh, Jungkookie is ours now?” Seokjin replies when Namjoon does actually try to complain about Jungkook teasing him. 

“Well…” Namjoon says, wondering if he’s overstepped. Jungkook has talked about their relationship with him though, he doesn’t think it’s supposed to be a secret. But maybe they aren’t ready to discuss it?

“Don’t make it worse, Jinnie, you two are far too much alike already,” Hoseok chastens. “Sorry, Joonie, they rub off on one another.” 

Namjoon frowns. “We’ve been friends our entire lives and you’ve abandoned me for a wolf you’ve known a few months.”

Hoseok and Seokjin just laugh. “Everyone is weak for Jungkook, it’s just the way of things,” Hoseok tells him. And Namjoon really can’t argue with that. He’s the same way; every time Jungkook asks him to do something, he somehow ends up saying yes. He should have known that his complaints would get him nowhere. But that doesn’t mean he can’t tease his friends for revenge. 

“We were talking about mating today,” he says slyly instead. 

“About you and Jimin, you mean?” Seokjin asks. 

“Nope,” Namjoon replies, grinning at them. 

“About…about us?” Seokjin and Hoseok exchange glances. 

Namjoon just shrugs. “Maybe you should ask him.” 

The two weeks between their announcement and the full moon seem to fly by far too quickly, but also not nearly fast enough. Namjoon wants to be mated, wants to feel the full effects of his bond with Jimin, but he also wants to have time to perfect his poem, to make sure that he’s ready to recite it in front of the whole pack. 

There’s also the matter of the actual mating, which Jimin insists on discussing in detail ahead of time. 

“Joonie, we need to decide all of this now, so I don’t overstep or make you uncomfortable,” Jimin tells him when Namjoon tries to hide his face in his chest. “We already talked about where we want our bites, but what about when we want to receive them?”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asks. 

“Well, it’s going to hurt, at least a little. But…if we do it during sex, it will feel better. The endorphins will cover up some of the pain,” Jimin explains. 

“Oh,” Namjoon murmurs, his cheeks growing warm. He’s gotten more comfortable with physical affection, even initiates kisses with Jimin pretty often now, but he still feels awkward talking about sex so openly. He appreciates that Jimin is so intent on open communication, but he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be so confident.

“You said that you wanted to try topping, right? Do you think you’d like to do that this time?” Jimin asks him, combing his fingers through Namjoon’s hair to soothe his anxious thoughts. 

“Maybe? I just…I’ve never really knotted before,” Namjoon admits. Certainly, his knot swelled during his presentation, and when he went through ruts, but he could never bring himself to actually squeeze his hand around it, to actually engage that part of his body. 

“Do you want to?” Jimin asks, his voice as patient as ever. 

Namjoon considers. His reticence about his knot has always been rooted in the disconnect he felt from his alpha. It seemed like just another element of the subgender and body he didn’t want, a breeding appendage that was, for him, largely superfluous. It was a reminder that he was expected to become something that he wasn’t. 

But now? He thinks there might be a chance to see it differently, to actually allow himself pleasure with a partner, to explore that part of his body in a new way. 

“I want to try,” he says softly. 

Jimin nods, kissing the top of his head. “A lot of alphas find that knotting during the mating bite is the most pleasurable, and it makes the pain nearly non-existent. Do you want to bite me first, or do you want me to bite you?” 

Namjoon wriggles anxiously, trying to determine what his instincts want. “I think…it feels like I should bite first? I don’t want to say it in a weird way, but my alpha…I think it wants that.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Jimin tells him. “Do you want to try knotting beforehand and see how it feels?” 

“Right now?” Namjoon asks, surprised. 

“If you want,” Jimin says, his hands sliding down to Namjoon’s chest to tease at his nipples. “You could knot my hand, or my mouth.” 

Namjoon whines at that suggestion, the image of Jimin’s mouth stretched around his knot making his cock stir with interest. “I…you want that?” 

“I want to make you feel good, angel. If that means you don’t want to knot at all, then that’s what we’ll do. But if you want to try, I’d happily take your knot,” Jimin says casually. 

“Okay,” Namjoon whispers. He watches as Jimin scoots out from under him and settles himself on top of Namjoon instead. 

“Okay? You don’t have to, but it feels like you want to,” Jimin says, letting his hips press down against Namjoon’s half-hard cock, only their thin pajama pants separating them. Namjoon is sure he’s already leaving a damp patch where he’s started to leak precum. 

“Want to knot your mouth,” he decides, and Jimin grins down at him before licking into his mouth eagerly. Namjoon loves the way Jimin kisses him, loves the confidence of his tongue and the way he tastes. He could nearly forget that Jimin has promised to suck on his cock, to let him knot, if it weren’t for the way his hips keep insistently pressing into Namjoon’s cock. 

“Let’s take these off, then,” Jimin says at last, tugging on Namjoon’s waistband. He lets his fingers brush purposefully along Namjoon’s ass and thighs as he drags the pants down and off, then settles himself happily between Namjoon’s legs. “So pretty, alpha. Dripping just thinking about my mouth, aren’t you?” 

Namjoon nods absently; there’s no denying the way his body responds to Jimin, especially when he teases him and talks so gently about the dirtiest things. 

Jimin licks softly along the head of Namjoon’s cock, and he shivers at the warmth of his tongue. It’s delicious and tantalizing, a promise of more to come. He wants to thrust forward, wants to slide the rest of his cock into Jimin’s mouth, but he knows that will only prolong the teasing. He holds onto the blankets around him instead, trying to focus on the pleasure instead of his own impatience. 

“Such a good alpha, letting me take my time,” Jimin praises him, and then subsequently lets Namjoon’s cock slide into his throat. Namjoon very nearly lets his hips thrust upwards, but he manages to hold back, letting Jimin swallow around him. 

“Fuck, Jimin,” he whimpers, looking down at his beta, mouth already stretched so prettily around him, drool all over his cock, his hair ruffled from where Namjoon’s hands have wandered to grip it. Jimin looks so content to have Namjoon’s cock in his throat, his scent washing over Namjoon in waves. Pleased. Sated. Happy. Namjoon’s alpha responds, his scent equally pleased, equally sated, equally happy. He’s making his beta feel good, he’s filling his mouth so well. 

Jimin starts to move, sliding his mouth along Namjoon’s cock, letting his tongue press against the underside as he goes. Namjoon can feel his spit dripping down his balls, keeping him so wet, and he loves it. He looks utterly sinful with his lips stretched around Namjoon, sucking him like he’s a delicacy. He watches as Jimin wraps his hand around the base of his cock where his knot will swell, and while he’s a little nervous, he has to admit…it feels good. The pressure and warmth and slippery slide of Jimin’s hand is just right alongside his mouth, and he feels the tension quickly growing at the base. He’s surprised at how quickly Jimin makes his knot swell, how urgently he wants to fill his mouth with come. 

“Jimin…” he tries to tell him that he’s going to knot, wants to ask if Jimin is really sure he can fit the knot in his mouth. He wants it, wants to feel the warmth and the way Jimin swallows around him, but his lips are already stretched so wide. He doesn’t want to hurt his beta, only wants to please him. 

Jimin seems to sense his anxiety, letting Namjoon’s cock slide from his mouth but keeping his hand wrapped around him, stroking slowly along his length. “You okay, Joonie?” 

“Just…don’t wanna hurt you. ‘m afraid…it’s too big,” he admits. 

“Alpha’s knot is too big for me?” Jimin asks, tilting his head and inspecting Namjoon’s cock. He licks against the base where his knot has begun to swell. “Don’t think it’s going to fit?”

Namjoon whines and nods. “Can I…can I knot your hand instead?” 

“Sure, Joonie, you can knot wherever you want,” Jimin tells him, going back to suckling on his tip. “What if I keep sucking your pretty cock but keep my hand here?” He wraps his hand around Namjoon’s base, the pressure delicious against his knot. 

“Yeah, yeah that’s good,” Namjoon breathes. Even through his worry, he knows that his orgasm is close. His cock is so hard, and Jimin’s mouth feels so good. His little kitten licks against Namjoon’s tip, the way he seems obsessed with swallowing down every drop of precum, his happy hums of pleasure around Namjoon’s length…he doesn’t know how he’ll ever last long when faced with Jimin. 

And to add to that, having Jimin’s hand around his knot, massaging…it’s incredible. He’s never felt anything like it, his alpha rumbling with pleasure in his chest, every instinct telling him to let go, to knot and claim and come all over his mate. 

“Min, gonna knot, gonna come,” he pants, wanting to give Jimin the opportunity to move back, to let his cock slip from his mouth, even though he knows Jimin won’t. He just moans around Namjoon, pressing his tongue against his length, and that’s it. Namjoon feels Jimin swallowing around him as he comes down his throat, feels his knot swell fully in Jimin’s hand. Even in his hand, it feels so large; he can’t imagine how much it would have stretched Jimin’s mouth. 

Apparently, knotting also means his orgasm lasts far longer. Wave after wave of pleasure sears through Namjoon’s body, and it’s only compounded by the way Jimin moans with satisfaction each time another burst of come slides into his throat. Only compounded by the way Jimin seems to know exactly how to stimulate his knot, gently squeezing around it with every pulse of Namjoon’s orgasm. 

After what feels like eons, Namjoon finally goes slack, feeling his cock begin to soften in Jimin’s mouth. That doesn’t seem to concern Jimin, though, because he continues to suckle around him, licking up every bit of his come and spit until Namjoon whimpers with the overstimulation. 

“Min, come here,” he reaches for Jimin, and Jimin easily moves up to lay on his chest. Namjoon pulls him down by the neck, licking into Jimin’s mouth and tasting himself on his tongue. It’s strange and new and inexplicably hot. 

He can feel that Jimin is still hard, his cock pressed into Namjoon’s stomach. His kisses are sloppy and wanting, and Namjoon feels his alpha roar with the desire to please his beta, to make sure that he feels just as good as Namjoon does. 

“Min, let me,” he whispers into Jimin’s mouth, and Jimin nods, rolling to lay on his back beside Namjoon. “Do you want me to…suck your cock?” Namjoon still feels a little silly saying things like that, but it’s worth it for the way Jimin whines and nods frantically. Namjoon noses one more time against his scent gland, licking up more of his mate’s pleased scent, before kissing down his chest, his stomach, letting his fingers slide under Jimin’s waistband and tug his pants away. 

Jimin’s cock is flushed and pink, smaller than Namjoon’s but still plenty to fill his mouth with. He’s even wetter than Namjoon, his length glistening with precum. He’s made a mess of himself grinding into their nest and against Namjoon. Namjoon loves it, loves seeing how his beta has responded to him. He licks cautiously from the base of Jimin’s cock up to the tip, letting the head slip into his mouth, feeling the way Jimin leaks even more for him. He takes his time at first, licking every inch of Jimin, but he can feel him getting impatient, his hips squirming and tiny whines spilling from his mouth. He decides that his desire to lick every inch of Jimin will have to wait for another day; he wants his beta to come. 

Namjoon isn’t as skilled at sucking cock as Jimin, but he’d like to think that he makes up for some of that inexperience with eagerness. He lets Jimin’s cock slide as far into his mouth as he can, remembering how nice it feels when Jimin touches his balls and doing the same. He’s pleased to earn a moan from Jimin, but nearly chokes when Jimin’s hips press upwards in response. 

“Sorry, just…feels so good,” Jimin breathes, his hand winding through Namjoon’s hair to pet comfortingly. 

Namjoon can’t answer with his mouth full, but he whines, trying to let Jimin know that he’s okay, that he just wants him to feel good. He finds that he doesn’t really mind the choking sensation, especially when it’s accompanied by Jimin’s sweetened, pleased scent and his soft breaths of pleasure. He swallows experimentally, letting his tongue press against Jimin as he slides his mouth further down. 

“Fuck, Joonie, want me to come in your mouth?” Jimin asks him, and Namjoon moans his assent. He very much wants to taste Jimin’s come, wants to swallow it down like a good mate. “Okay, I’m close baby.” 

Namjoon’s alpha feels strangely pleased every time Jimin calls him baby. 

He swallows around Jimin again, rolling Jimin’s balls in his hand, feeling his own spit dripping around them. It’s pleasing in an instinctual way, having his drool and scent all over his mate, and Namjoon moans at the thought of marking every inch of Jimin with his scent. Jimin’s cock pulses in his mouth, warm come sliding down his throat. Namjoon thinks he might get hard again as he gasps for air, so focused on making his beta come that he almost forgot to breathe. He has to let Jimin’s cock slide from his lips for a moment, but quickly goes back for the missed bits of come. He wants to clean Jimin just as thoroughly as he cleaned Namjoon, making sure to savor every taste. 

“Fuck, that…your mouth feels so good, my sweet alpha,” Jimin murmurs, watching Namjoon lick his base, his thighs, his stomach. There’s something incredibly soothing about licking Jimin, feeling his soft skin beneath his tongue. He wonders absently if that’s some sort of innate wolf instinct, or if he just likes the way Jimin tastes. Maybe both. 

He slowly makes his way back up to kiss Jimin, their kisses lazy and soft now that they’re both sated. Namjoon almost feels like he could fall asleep on top of him, their legs tangled together, nothing to separate their bodies, their scent clinging to every blanket and fur in the nest. He almost feels that way, until Jimin whispers, “How much do you want to bet that Taehyung is going to ask how the sex was tomorrow?” 

Namjoon isn’t an idiot; he’s not taking a losing bet. 

Taehyung actually does manage to hold his tongue in the morning, though he gives Namjoon and Jimin at least thirty knowing glances and sniffs the air pointedly when they make their way to breakfast. The combination of Jimin and Yoongi’s glares seem to be enough to warn him not to ask, though. 

Or at least, he doesn’t ask until he and Namjoon are alone. 

“Did you get any inspiration for your vows last night?” he giggles, watching Namjoon drop the berries he’d been picking for a snack. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Namjoon replies primly, though he’s sure his blush gives him away entirely. 

“You know, I think that erotic poetry is an entire genre,” Taehyung continues. “It’s totally normal, sex is just a part of––”

“I’m not putting sex into my mating vows! That’s such a…a knothead thing to do!” Namjoon bursts out. Taehyung stares at him with wide eyes. 

“But…sex is romantic. Or, it can be, don’t you think?” Taehyung asks him softly. 

Namjoon shakes his head, then nods. “I mean…yeah, it is. Or can be. But…it’s also private. I don’t want to share that with the pack, you know? It makes me uncomfortable.” 

Taehyung looks guilty. “I’m sorry, Joonie, you know I’m just teasing you. Of course you should write what you want, and only what makes you feel comfortable. I think I’ve just always been really comfortable talking about sex, and it’s part of what I consider romantic. I didn’t realize I was making you uncomfortable.” 

Namjoon nods. He knows that plenty of wolves are totally blasé about sex, and that’s fine. He just isn’t one of them. He wants that part of his life to be just between him and Jimin. “It’s okay, Tae. I know you didn’t mean to. It’s all still pretty new to me, but I think it will always be something that feels private.” 

Taehyung nods. “Okay. So, what are you putting into the poem? Jungkookie said something about stars in Jimin’s eyes?” 

Namjoon sighs. He’s never letting Jungkook see his drafts again. And he’s definitely going to have to scrap that line. 

On the day of the full moon, Namjoon wakes up to Taehyung banging on the door of their cabin. 

“Wake up, love birds! It’s time to get ready, and you’re not supposed to see each other until the ceremony!” 

Namjoon groans into the back of Jimin’s neck, clinging onto him and the last remaining dregs of sleep. He doesn’t want to spend the day apart from Jimin, what kind of stupid rule is that? But Taehyung is persistent, and there’s no way Namjoon is going to be able to fall back asleep. 

“We’re up!” Jimin calls, turning around in Namjoon’s hold to nose at his scent gland. Namjoon thinks that there must be some effect of sleep on their pheromones, because Jimin smells especially good when he wakes up, and Jimin seems to feel the same way about him. He licks firmly against Namjoon’s neck, breathing in deep gulps of his sleepy scent. 

“Then why are you still in there?” Taehyung yells back. 

“Just give us a minute!” Jimin grouses, kissing softly along the column of Namjoon’s neck. “Scent me before he drags me out of here,” he whispers to Namjoon. And of course, how could Namjoon say no to that? He tugs Jimin up so he can nose at his neck, nipping softly at his skin and licking soothingly at the small red spots. He presses their wrists together, methodically rubbing his scent into Jimin’s skin. He doesn’t manage quite as thorough a scenting as he’d prefer, because Taehyung does indeed start threatening to burst in if they don’t hurry up. 

“I’ll see you tonight, then?” Jimin asks, seeming reluctant to let go of Namjoon’s hand. 

“Tonight,” Namjoon nods, his nerves fluttering in his chest. 

“I love you, Joonie. I can’t wait to be your mate,” Jimin says, kissing him softly on the lips. 

“Love you too, Min,” he breathes against his lips. My mate. 

As much as he didn’t want to spend the day apart from Jimin, he’s certainly not provided with many moments to think about missing him, or to think at all, really. Taehyung has an entire itinerary for them to follow, carefully crafted so their paths don’t cross during the preparations. Seokjin and Taehyung are in charge of Jimin while Hoseok and Jungkook are tasked with Namjoon. Somehow, Yoongi must have convinced Taehyung that his cooking was too important to play a role in anything else. 

They’re given their meals in separate cabins and taken at alternating times to bathe at the river. Despite Namjoon insisting that he can wash his own hair, it’s apparently vital to Taehyung’s plan that he receive a scalp massage. Which isn’t so bad. Hoseok gives nice scalp massages, and he even brings some of his fancy oils to make Namjoon’s hair all shiny and refreshed. He only has to reprimand Jungkook once for trying to instigate a splash war after he’s arranged Namjoon’s hair just so. 

“Sorry, Hobi,” Jungkook says, and Namjoon nearly gapes at them. 

“Never once have you apologized for splashing me,” he grumbles. 

“Well, it’s your mating day. Consider it my gift to you,” Jungkook says cheekily. 

They make their way back to the cabin at the specified interval, with Jungkook going ahead to make sure that there are no accidental sightings of Jimin. 

“Coast’s clear,” he calls back to them, and Namjoon is hurried back into the cabin. 

They put him in a robe while they work on the rest of the preparations. 

“I’m sorry, Namjoonie, but there’s no way you wouldn’t spill something or manage to rip your outfit at the last moment, so this is for your own safety. Taehyung would have a heart attack if he had to re-coordinate your outfits,” Hoseok informs him when Namjoon frowns at the robe. And honestly, that’s a fair enough assessment. And Namjoon definitely doesn’t want to encounter an angry Taehyung. He hasn’t yet, but he can imagine that it would be very frightening. 

From somewhere, they also manage to conjure up some makeup and Namjoon is plopped down on a pillow to be fussed over. He’s never really worn makeup before, hardly even seen other wolves with it on, but Jungkook insists that for special occasions, it’s very proper. 

“We won’t do anything too dramatic, and if you don’t like it, I’ll take it off,” he promises. 

Since the scalp massage wasn’t so bad, and his hair does feel especially soft and luxurious, and the robe is fairly cozy…Namjoon figures a bit of makeup won’t hurt. 

He sits patiently while Jungkook turns his face this way and that, patting some sort of powder across his cheeks and eyelids, blotting some gloss onto his lips. 

“What do we think about doing some sparkles?” he asks. Namjoon crinkles his nose, and Jungkook sighs. “Okay, how about these instead?”

He presents Namjoon with a little box of jewels. They are very pretty, but Namjoon has never thought about making himself pretty. It’s on the list of things that don’t describe alphas. He’s not supposed to be delicate and glimmering. He’s not supposed to want it, and for that reason, he thinks it’s the perfect choice. 

“Maybe just a few,” he agrees, and Jungkook gives a wriggle of excitement. 

“I can put them here, to bring out your eyes,” he says, tapping the corners of Namjoon’s eyes. He’s not sure exactly how jewels will bring out his eyes, but he lets Jungkook work his magic. It’s actually soothing, to have his friends tending so carefully to him and helping him look nice for Jimin. 

“Done!” Jungkook says. “Do you want to look now, and then if you don’t like it we can take it off before putting on your outfit?” 

Namjoon nods, and Jungkook brings him a little hand mirror to inspect his work. 

“Oh,” he breathes as he turns his head to look at each angle. He feels…strange. He doesn’t want to go so far as saying he doesn’t recognize himself; Jungkook stayed true to his promise of not doing anything dramatic, just small touches here and there. But…Namjoon does feel unlike his usual self. He doesn’t often look at himself in mirrors, only sees passing glances of himself in the river, really. But today, he wants to look. 

“Do you like it?” Jungkook asks hesitantly. “If I need to redo it, we’ll have to start now so we won’t be late to the ceremony…”

“No, it’s…it’s pretty,” Namjoon admits. Jungkook has added something to the high points of his face that shimmers a bit in the light, a bit of brown shadow smudged along his eyes, and some pink for his cheeks and lips. He looks glowy, and the little jewels in the corner of his eyes add a small pop of glamor. 

“Good, I think so too,” Jungkook beams. “Jimin is going to love it.” 

Namjoon hopes that’s the case, because it’s what he wants most of all. He loves the way that Jimin looks at him, like he’s something soft and precious. Even when he’s being a clumsy alpha, tripping over his own feet or licking too eagerly against Jimin’s mouth, he looks at him so fondly. 

“You think…you think he’ll like that I’m pretty?” Namjoon asks softly. He knows he shouldn’t question it, knows that Jimin will support him however he wants to present himself, but…the thoughts still creep into his head, making him need to voice the question. 

“Of course he will, Joonie,” Hoseok pipes in. He’s been fluffing at Namjoon’s outfit, making sure no wrinkles manage to sully it before it’s time to get him dressed. “I’m sure he thinks you’re pretty every day, but he’s going to love seeing you dressed up for him.” 

“He definitely already thinks you’re pretty,” Jungkook attests. 

“He said that?” Namjoon asks. He doesn’t think that he’s pretty on a day to day basis. He actually feels kind of grubby half the time, working on the school cabin or traipsing through the woods with Taehyung or Jungkook. Definitely not pretty, not the way that Jimin is, with his soft blonde hair and his eyes all scrunched when he smiles and his happy water lily scent…

“Oh, he never stops. ‘Namjoonie is so cute, have you seen the way he looks today? Namjoonie looks so pretty in the morning in our nest, I don’t know how I’m supposed to get anything done.’ I don’t know how I’m supposed to get anything done when he gets started,” Jungkook gripes playfully. 

Namjoon can feel his cheeks getting even pinker beneath the makeup; maybe Jungkook could have saved some, since he’s sure he’s only going to be blushing more as the day goes on. “I didn’t know that,” he says quietly. 

“Jimin talks about you a lot, Joon,” Hoseok tells him gently. “And it’s always about how much he admires you, how beautiful and strong he thinks you are, how much he wants to be as intelligent and talented as you.” 

“But he is all of those things!” Namjoon protests. He doesn’t know why Jimin would ever consider himself less than Namjoon in anything. 

“Ugh, we got him started now too, didn’t we?” Jungkook asks Hoseok over Namjoon’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay, Joon. It’s part of what will make you two good mates, I think. You’re both great at seeing the best in one another,” Hoseok says. Namjoon likes that idea. He likes the thought of being a reason for Jimin to feel good about himself. He likes the idea of building each other up. He hasn’t ever thought of himself as someone that could do that. 

“Let’s get you dressed, then?” Hoseok asks, and Namjoon nods. 

Taehyung ended up selecting a deep navy matching set with a bit of iridescence to them, similar to a modernized hanbok. They’re silky and soft, the pants oversized while the shirt is a wrap style, curving around his chest and waist like waves. There are hints of gold along the shoulders in a subtle floral design. It’s fancier than anything he’s ever worn.

“It looks great with the makeup, don’t you think?” Jungkook asks. Hoseok nods in agreement. 

“It’s not too much?” Namjoon asks. 

“I mean, this is probably the biggest occasion you’re ever going to attend, so I don’t think ‘too much’ applies here,” Hoseok shrugs. “But no, I think you look great.” 

“Jimin is going to love me…I mean, your look,” Jungkook smirks. 

“Do you know what he’s wearing?” Namjoon asks. 

“As if I’d risk the wrath of Taehyung by spoiling that surprise,” Jungkook scoffs. 

“What if we clash?” Namjoon asks. 

Hoseok and Jungkook both roll their eyes, and Namjoon has to admit defeat. He knows that Taehyung would never allow such a thing. 

After a bit more fussing with his outfit and hair, Namjoon is finally deemed ready to go. He carefully tucks his folded mating vows into the pocket of his pants, patting it several times to make sure it’s secure. Hoseok and Jungkook make a big show of inspecting the perimeter before authorizing him to walk with them to the ceremony location. 

As they get closer, he feels a bit like he’s not actually there, like he’s having an out of body experience. Parts of him feel numb, his hands and feet, while other parts feel strangely tingly. He tries to focus on each step, moving his legs in a normal fashion, but it keeps getting harder. He can’t possibly be walking to his mating ceremony. He doesn’t know how to make it feel real. 

“Hobi?” he asks nervously when his legs start to feel wobbly halfway there. “Do you think we could…pause for a second?” 

“What’s wrong?” Hobi instinctively begins to put out soothing pheromones, inspecting Namjoon for the source of his distress. 

“I just…feel really weird,” Namjoon says. His body feels very light, and everything sounds a bit strange. 

“Okay, let’s just sit down here, this is pretty clean,” Hoseok guides him to sit on a fallen tree trunk and presses his wrist methodically along Namjoon’s. 

“Are you going to pass out? I can probably carry you,” Jungkook says conversationally. 

“I’m not…you definitely can’t carry me,” Namjoon tells him. He wants to curl up on his side, but he knows that will ruin his outfit and his makeup. He wants Jimin here to scent him and tell him not to worry, that they’re going to be mates, and it’s not something to be anxious about. 

“I definitely can, but I think it would probably freak Jimin out if I walked into the clearing carrying his unconscious mate,” Jungkook says. 

Namjoon definitely doesn’t want that. He wants to see Jimin happy, not make him worried. 

“Are you just anxious about the pack being there?” Hoseok asks. “Or the entire thing?” 

“Um…” Namjoon considers. Sometimes, when he’s anxious about multiple things, it’s hard to parse them out into separate pieces, but it does help to do so. He can sort through things more easily that way and figure out how to make them feel more surmountable. “I think I’m nervous about reading the poem, and that the pack will think…that I’m not good enough to be his mate, or that it’s not a good mating vow.” 

“But you’re not nervous about mating with Jimin?” Hoseok asks. 

“No,” Namjoon says with certainty. He knows that Jimin is his mate, and he doesn’t need to worry about that. Jimin asked him to be mates. He can sense it in Jimin’s every word, his scent, the way he touches him. 

“Well, that’s the most important part then, right?” Hoseok encourages. “As long as your bond is solid, you don’t ever have to worry about how other people perceive it.”

“And I think I can say with confidence, the pack loves seeing you two together,” Jungkook chimes in. “Of course, we’re pretty unconventional in a lot of ways, but we also have a bunch of romantics. And they’re always prattling on about how poor Jimin doesn’t have someone to take care of him, he works too hard, he needs to relax. You’re making the pack feel more…settled, on behalf of their beloved leader.” 

Namjoon hadn’t thought of it that way. He had actually thought it might be the opposite: becoming their leader’s mate might make the pack feel resentful of him, like he was taking away Jimin’s time and focus. He’s pleased to think about their mating doing the opposite; allowing Jimin the time to relax and focus on his own needs too. Namjoon will always do his best to make sure Jimin is always cared for.

“Thank you,” he says softly. 

“Are you ready now? We can sit as long as you’d like,” Hoseok tells him, but Namjoon shakes his head. 

“No, I’m ready. I don’t want to keep Jimin waiting,” he decides. 

Though he can tell the other two are worried, especially by the way they bracket him as though he might collapse, Namjoon does feel ready. He just needs to stay focused on Jimin. That seems to be the best way of conquering his anxieties in recent months. He wonders if that has something to do with his biology settling now that he’s found his mate, or if he’s just learning better coping methods, or if his new pack environment has helped. Probably all of it; a lot of his anxieties stemmed from issues that were rooted in the traditional pack dynamics he was steeped in for so long. 

As they approach the edge of the clearing, Namjoon can hear the murmurings of the pack, lots of excited voices and scents. He’s not sure exactly what to expect, since he mostly let Taehyung have free reign over any decor and setup once the location was settled. 

And he definitely did not disappoint. 

There are cushions and blankets scattered all throughout the clearing, and the pack sits comfortably on them in the closest semblance of rows they could achieve. There are flower petals on the ground and floating in the river, and the large boulder Namjoon likes to sun himself on has been made into a clear central podium. There are petals there too, as well as a bouquet of all his favorite wildflowers, tied and wrapped carefully with twine. 

But most important of all is Jimin, standing atop the boulder, dressed similarly to Namjoon but in white and silver. He has little gems beneath his eyes and somehow Taehyung has managed to get tiny pieces of silver tinsel into his hair. He looks nearly more majestic than his white wolf, his skin and hair shimmering in the sunlight, his lips tinted pink, his eyes instantly focused on Namjoon. 

“Do you want us to walk you up there?” Hoseok asks quietly, but Namjoon shakes his head. He doesn’t need to be given away. He’s finally in a place where he can make decisions for himself, and this one will be the easiest of all. 

He keeps his eyes on Jimin, feeling the presence of Jungkook and Hoseok fade away as they find a spot to settle on one of the blankets. He hardly notices Taehyung beside Jimin, making final adjustments to his hair and outfit, whispering something into his ear. He doesn’t even take a moment to wonder what it might be, too focused on being able to look at his mate. 

“Hi, Joonie,” Jimin says quietly when he reaches him. “You look pretty.” 

“So do you,” Namjoon breathes. “Sorry if we’re a bit late, I got nervous.”

Jimin tilts his head, looking over Namjoon carefully. “Nervous about what?”

“Just…want to be good enough for you, and for the pack. And about reading my vow,” Namjoon admits. “But I feel better now.” 

“See, Tae, I told you keeping us apart was a bad idea,” Jimin pouts at Taehyung. 

Taehyung just shakes his head. “It’s romantic, it creates anticipation!” 

“It’s okay, I’m glad to be surprised by your outfit,” Namjoon soothes Jimin. He doesn’t want him to worry; they’re together now, and there will never be another reason for them to remain apart. 

“Should we get started, then?” Taehyung asks, clearly eager to take the reprieve from Jimin’s annoyance. Jimin and Namjoon nod, keeping their gazes on one another. “Alright, everyone, I think we’re ready to begin! Please settle into your seats so we can get our pack leader mated!” 

Jimin rolls his eyes fondly at Taehyung’s dramatics, but Namjoon can see the faint blush beneath his shimmery makeup, can smell the hint of pleased in his scent. 

Once everyone seems to have settled into their spots, Taehyung addresses the pack once more. “We won’t have a lengthy ceremony, but as you all know, Jimin and Namjoon have decided to mate, and they’d like to share this happy memory with all of us. I know they have both prepared a mating vow, and after that, we have a wonderful meal prepared by Yoongi and Seokjin. Once it is dusk, you are all welcome to participate in a run as the moon rises, and then we’ll return to the pack grounds.” 

Taehyung turns to Jimin and Namjoon. “I’ll hand it over to you, then.”

Once Taehyung has climbed down to settle beside Yoongi on one of the nearest blankets, Jimin reaches out to take Namjoon’s hands. “Thank you, everyone, for joining us. We chose this spot because it’s where we first met. And actually, it’s where I met many of you as you found your ways to this pack. But right away, I knew something was different about this gray wolf. He didn’t speak to me, just sat quietly looking at the clouds or the water. He seemed…sad.” 

Namjoon swallows; he was sad. Even though the feeling becomes more distant each day, it still hurts to remember the way his life used to be: empty, monotonous, aimless. That’s not the point of today, though. The point is how far you’ve come, he reminds himself.

“I noticed that sometimes, he would use his claws to draw in the dirt, or on tree trunks. I went to investigate, and I found poems. I had read so few before, but enjoyed those seldom pieces I came upon. But Namjoon’s poems…they were the best I’d ever read. They made me want to know him more desperately than ever before. They spoke of such loneliness, such yearning. Yet something told me…if I rushed to him, if I offered the embrace I wanted to give so badly, he might never return. 

“It took months for him to speak to me, and when he did, I felt like fate was unfolding slowly before me. Finally, I was able to know this wolf, a wolf that made me feel longing and curiosity more than any I’d known before. But I also felt a deep pain as I learned the way his pack treated him, the reasons he existed on the periphery of his territory for so many hours most weeks. My wolf insisted that I find a way to get him out.”

Namjoon already feels emotional, but he forces himself not to cry. He didn’t know how strongly Jimin had felt about him from the very beginning; he didn’t realize that the wolf he was all those months ago could ever have meant something to a wolf like Jimin. 

“Namjoon, once you were part of our pack, I thought perhaps my beta would feel more settled, knowing you were finally safe. Instead, I found myself craving your company more than ever. You were so close, but every moment felt so fragile. What if you walked away from me, from this pack? What if what I felt for you was too much, too soon? I wanted to take every precaution, to make sure that when I finally expressed what I was feeling, you wouldn’t have the urge to run.

Jimin pauses, looking carefully at Namjoon with those shining eyes. In this moment, Namjoon can’t imagine a time that he would have run from Jimin, even though he knows he probably would have. But now, all he wants is to run towards him, to never be far from his side. 

“Every precious moment of patience was worth it, because now I’m able to stand here beside you, to call you my mate. I’m able to say in front of everyone that matters how much I love you. I didn’t…” Jimin starts to get a bit choked up, and Namjoon squeezes his hands encouragingly. He’s sure that he’s not going to do any better. “I didn’t know if romantic love or mating or any of this was in the cards for me. I’ve always been ambitious, wanted to be a leader and to create a welcoming pack for all types of wolves. And when that meant that I had to leave home, to start almost entirely anew…well, I figured that should be enough for me. And in many ways, it was, for a long time. I didn’t need anything more, not with the love of my family, my pack. 

“But I don’t think that mating you is about need. It’s about want, about wanting to make a commitment to the most thoughtful and caring wolf I know. It’s about wanting to spend every day knowing you and supporting you. It’s about wanting to hold each other together when the days are hard, and lift one another up when the sun rises tomorrow. It’s about wanting to watch my alpha use his claws for poems. It’s about wanting you, Namjoon, every day, for the rest of my life.” 

“I love you,” Namjoon whispers. How is he supposed to get through his vow after that? 

“I love you too,” Jimin smiles up at him, leaning forward to kiss him softly. 

Faintly, he can smell the way the pack is responding to them, their scents happy and sweet, seeing the two wolves together. He can hear a few sniffles, certain that Taehyung is one of them. 

“Are you ready for your turn?” Jimin asks him. “We can take a moment, if you need.” 

Namjoon takes a deep breath, then removes the piece of parchment from his pocket. He’d carefully folded it into a neat rectangle so that it wouldn’t be terribly creased after the journey to the ceremony. He’s glad that he decided to write the piece down rather than memorize it, because he doesn’t think he could remember a single thing he’s written at this moment. 

“I don’t have nearly as beautiful a speech as Jimin, but I did write something to share,” Namjoon begins, his hands feeling damp and sweaty. 

“Um…as most of you probably know, I like to write poems. It was a big part of the reason I didn’t fit into my old pack. ‘Alphas can’t be poets,’ our pack leader said. Everyone said it to me, really. I started to say it to myself, too. ‘Alphas can’t be poets, Namjoon. You need to give this up, it’s never going to bring you happiness’. But I could never quite let it go. I was always coming up with lines in my head, and I wanted so desperately to write them down, to play with their structure, to learn more about the craft. But if I did it anywhere I could be discovered…I was sure I’d be punished. So I did the only thing I could think of, and I used the trees and the dirt on my patrol route. 

“At first, I thought that Jimin was…a daydream? An apparition? Something my mind had conjured up, an imaginary comfort. He was…all the things I wished I could be. So at ease, so beautiful, so free. Surely he couldn’t be real; there were no packs in this area that I knew about. So of course, I never thought to speak to him, but he kept appearing, and…well, Jimin told you the rest. 

As a part of my vow, I wanted to express the hope and the courage that Jimin has given me over these last months. He has indisputably changed my life. I don’t know if there are words to do that justice, but I think I’d like to keep trying to find them.”

Namjoon gazes down at his poem, hoping that it has come together as well as he hoped. He steals one more look at Jimin, his eyes already glittering with tears, and begins to read. 

i have been trapped 

in a garden, eaten

alive by the sweet promises

of power i never wanted. 

i have claws

but they are gentle.

i have fangs

but they distort my poems. 

i could vaguely imagine

a better world, a better pack

but the details were blurry, a white

cloud floating on my horizon. 

you have been freed

from the garden, sated

by the sweet promises 

of power you earned. 

you have claws

but your hands are soft.

you have fangs

& i dream that they claim me. 

you could imagine a better pack

& you made it reality,

a cloudless sky, moonlight beaming

upon every wolf in turn. 

dare i suggest a we?

a convergence of souls

not in a garden but a forest

not parched but drenched.

we have clawed

our way to freedom.

we will bite

to seal our fate. 

there’s a white wolf 

on the horizon. gray 

fog surrounds him 

in an embrace. 

there’s a gray wolf made of rain 

clouds, warm white 

sunbeams caress 

& dry his fur. 

there are two wolves curled together

they look like you & i. 

moonlight beta, starglow alpha

we reflect each other’s light. 

Namjoon continues to look at his poem for a few moments after he finishes, not quite prepared to see Jimin’s response. As much as he anticipated being nervous about the pack’s response, he forgot to worry quite so much about how his mate would receive the poem. He knows that Jimin loves his poetry, so he’s sure that he’ll like it…right? 

“Joonie.” 

He hears Jimin speak his name softly and finally brings his eyes up to look at Jimin. Jimin, whose pretty shimmering makeup now has tear tracks running through it. 

“Jimin?” he asks, worried, reaching out to brush the tears away, to pat at his damp cheeks. How can he still look pretty even when he’s crying? 

“It’s okay, I’m okay, it’s just…such a beautiful poem. And you wrote it about us,” Jimin says, laughing a bit at himself. “God, I said I wasn’t going to cry, and I cried for both our vows.” 

Namjoon can’t help but laugh too. “It’s okay, it’s healthy to cry.” 

He hears some of the pack members giggle at that. He can hardly pay them any attention though, not when he’s still unsure if Jimin is alright. He very much wants to nose at his neck, to scent him until he stops crying. But that might be a bit much in front of everyone. Tonight, he promises himself.

“Well, that was all very beautiful,” Taehyung declares, wiping his own tears away as he steps back up beside them. “I’m so happy that Joonie joined our pack, and that he’s going to be my Minie’s mate. You both deserve this. Now, who’s ready to eat?” 

The bustle towards the food gives Namjoon and Jimin a few moments to collect themselves, and Namjoon cautiously nudges against Jimin’s neck, requesting to scent him. Jimin tilts his head obligingly. 

“I’m really okay, Joonie,” he says, though his scent settles into blooming florals much more quickly once Namjoon has finished scenting him. 

“I know, just…I didn’t like being apart from you all day. Missed you,” Namjoon murmurs against his skin. 

“Missed you too. But we have all night together, and I think the pack will understand if I take a couple extra days off to celebrate my mating, don’t you?” Jimin says teasingly. 

“Definitely,” Namjoon agrees. 

“Do you want to do the pack run, or do you want to go straight to our cabin after the meal?” Jimin asks. 

As tempted as Namjoon is by the prospect of finally being along with Jimin, he does want to spend time with the pack as well. He’s never been on a pack run before, and with as many runs as Jungkook has talked him into, he thinks it might actually be pretty fun. 

“I think we should do the run, just for a bit,” he says. 

Jimin nods in agreement. “I think so too, it feels good to run with everyone. Did you ever do pack runs, before?” 

Namjoon shakes his head. “Not really, no. Sometimes the alphas would go out together, but it definitely wasn’t something to do as a pack. It was more of a…toxic alpha thing, like, who can run the fastest? Who would have caught the most omegas back in the day?” 

“Ours aren’t that way at all. It feels…well, it’s going to sound kind of dumb, but it feels sort of magical? Like we’re all part of something, connected by this huge history. Makes you wanna howl at the moon,” Jimin grins cheekily. 

“Well, we can do that.” 

The next few hours pass in a blur, all of the pack members wanting to come up to Namjoon and Jimin to offer their congratulations and well wishes. It seems like for every bite of food Namjoon is able to gulp down, there’s another person approaching to speak with them. He’s glad that Jimin takes over much of the conversation, because he’s feeling a little overwhelmed by all the attention. Jimin’s hand in his, the comforting beta pheromones he surrounds Namjoon with, are the only thing truly keeping him grounded. 

When the sun begins to set, Namjoon can feel the pack’s excitement. Many of them begin to fold their clothes and pack them away carefully, a few of the older wolves that aren’t interested or able to do the run taking charge of bringing things back to their cabins. Namjoon isn’t sure he’s ever seen all of the pack shifted, so he’s eager to meet everyone’s wolves. 

“Ready?” Jimin asks him, and Namjoon nods. Jimin guides them over to a secluded spot, seeming to sense that Namjoon isn’t comfortable changing and shifting in front of everyone, and he folds their clothes carefully to be put back with the case of fancy garments. They both shift and rejoin the pack, the moon nearly visible in the sky now. 

Are we gonna race? Jungkook’s black wolf appears from nowhere beside Namjoon, tail whooshing excitedly. 

Definitely not, Namjoon snorts. 

Don’t wanna lose in front of your mate? Jungkook teases.

Namjoon playfully snaps his teeth at Jungkook, who dodges easily. It’s my first pack run, just wanna enjoy it. 

Oh, your first? It’s so fun, you’ll love it! We can race another time, then. Jungkook trots off, probably to try and talk someone else into racing him. 

You can go with him, if you want, Jimin tells him. He looks so effortlessly regal in wolf form too, tail curled around his legs, head slightly tilted. 

I don’t, I wanna run with you, Namjoon replies. 

Okay. We’ll go together, then.

And with a single howl from Jimin, the pack begins to run.

Chapter Text

Pack runs are always filled with adrenaline and joy, but Jimin feels particularly euphoric tonight. 

There’s something about the combination of the wind in his fur, the moonlight filtering across his snout through the trees, and his mate racing along nearby that makes this the best pack run ever. 

Joon, Joon, wait for me! he barks after Namjoon, who has sprinted ahead of him, spotting the glimmer of the river in the distance. 

Let’s swim, Min! Namjoon calls back, yipping excitedly. 

All around them, the rest of the pack is running too, leaping over branches and howling excitedly as the moon continues to rise in the sky above them. They feel like one, all their wolves singing happily, tails high, fur of every color illuminated in the evening light. It’s something beautiful, and for that moment, Jimin lets himself revel in the fact that it’s also something he helped create. 

Jimin! Namjoon calls back to him, already at the water’s edge. 

A quick swim, and then we have to go, Jimin agrees. He’s ready to focus the rest of his energy on his mate tonight. 

They pad into the water carefully at first, but they’re quickly surrounded by the splashes of the rest of the pack, everyone eager to cool off and enjoy the river. It’s mostly shallow enough along the shore for the wolves to lay belly flat in the water and still keep their snouts out, though other pack members swim into the middle, paddling up and down, still energized from the run. Still more wolves stretch out along the edge, drinking and stretching out for a brief rest. 

It’s nice, isn’t it? Jimin asks, seeing Namjoon taking in the pack around him. 

It is. No one is excluded, even when we break off into smaller groups. It feels like…being home. 

Jimin has rarely felt the urge to purr before, but something similar rumbles in his chest at that. Namjoon turns to him, surprised at the sound. Sorry, I don’t…I just feel good, hearing you say that. It’s what I wanted, to create a pack that felt like a home. 

You did it, Min. Namjoon wades over to him, nudging his snout against Jimin’s. You made all of this. I don’t know where any of us would be, especially me, without you. 

Jimin closes his eyes for a moment, trying to hold this feeling in his body for as long as possible. He doesn’t ever want to forget this. Thank you, baby. Are you ready to go soon? The moon is getting high. 

I’m ready. 

They shake off the water from their coats, Jimin giving a brief howl to announce their departure. The pack howls softly in return, their eyes shimmering in the moonlight, scents pleased and encouraging as they send off their pack leader and his mate.  

Deciding to remain in wolf form until they get to the heat cabins, they set off at a trot. Taehyung apparently set up the most secluded one for them again, and Jimin is eager to get there and be alone with Namjoon. As much as he enjoyed getting to celebrate with their pack, this is the part he’s been most looking forward to. Every part of him, his wolf, his soul, feels the most settled when it’s just them. 

Jimin is quick to shift once they arrive, turning to see that Namjoon has done the same. He doesn’t hide himself the way he once might have, though Jimin can see he’s trying hard to resist the urge, his cheeks already flushed at Jimin’s attention. It doesn’t stop Jimin from letting his eyes roam along Namjoon’s chest, his waist, his pretty soft cock. 

“Ready to see what Taehyung’s idea of tasteful, romantic decorating consists of?” Jimin asks once he drags his eyes away, reaching out to take Namjoon’s hand. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Namjoon replies. 

They step through the doorway, looking around in the dim light filtering from the door. The heat cabins mostly only have small, high set windows for a greater sense of privacy, so there’s not much light. Navigating carefully, Jimin finds a box of matches to light a few candles and flicks on the battery powered lamp near the nest. 

“It’s nice,” Namjoon admits. “He actually didn’t go overboard, I’m proud.” 

“I may have given him some very specific guidelines,” Jimin says. Which really means: he told Taehyung exactly how he wanted the cabin to look, from the materials for the nest to the number of candles and lighting. He specified what meals he wanted in the cooler and when to place more water and food outside the door as well. There is nothing to get in the way of his perfect handful of days pleasing his new mate. 

“Do you…should we go to the nest, then?” Namjoon asks quietly. 

“Yeah, baby. Let’s go,” Jimin pulls Namjoon towards the nest, pleased to find that the blankets he’d scented earlier that day still smell just right, and the ones he snuck out of their own nest are just as fresh. Still, he knows they’ll be much better once he’s had Namjoon spread out on top of them. He pushes him into the nest first, nestling himself comfortably on top of Namjoon’s lap. 

“So…” Namjoon says, his lips only a few inches from Jimin’s, all his bare skin so hot against Jimin’s. 

“So,” Jimin says, pressing kisses along Namjoon’s jaw, his tongue brushing softly against his scent gland. 

“I…how are we…Jimin, I can’t think when you’re doing that, fuck,” Namjoon wriggles under him as Jimin grinds his hips forward, letting his cock slide against Namjoon’s. 

“What else am I supposed to do when my pretty alpha’s cock is right here?” Jimin asks teasingly. 

“I just…wanted to ask…” Namjoon still doesn’t manage to get his question out, because Jimin sucks on his scent gland at just that moment. God, he tastes so good, can’t wait to bite him. 

“What did you want to ask?” he replies innocently. 

“Can I still fuck you tonight?” Namjoon finally blurts out, seizing the brief moment that Jimin’s mouth isn’t on him. 

“Of course you can, my sweet alpha, just like we talked about, yeah? Want to bite me while I’m on your knot?” Jimin murmurs against his neck. “Want to fill me up with cum, let me keep your cock warm?” 

Namjoon nods, his scent so thick Jimin can hardly take a deep breath so close to his gland. He both wants to relish every second of this night and wants to fast forward to the moment he gets to bite right here, into Namjoon’s soft skin, letting his mouth fill with the thick musky scent. 

“Min…can you help me prep you?” Namjoon asks softly from beneath him. “Don’t wanna hurt you.” 

“Yeah, wanna feel your fingers next to mine,” Jimin breathes, feeling his cock dripping precum onto Namjoon’s stomach at the thought. “But this first.” 

He needs to taste Namjoon, needs to feel his tongue against teeth, needs to breathe the exact same air as his mate. His kisses are fierce and claiming, unable to stop himself from nipping at Namjoon’s lips, sucking on his tongue. He could get lost in this, could kiss Namjoon beyond being breathless. 

But he can also feel Namjoon’s cock hot and hard against his thigh, the mess of precum sticky between them already. 

Jimin feels around the side of the nest for the bottle of oil he’s sure Taehyung will have left there as instructed. Once he finds it, he breaks away from Namjoon, just for a few seconds, to coat his fingers in the oil, teasing along his own rim. 

“Here, Joonie, let me put this on you too,” he says, carefully pouring the oil onto Namjoon’s fingers as well. It’s very clear that Namjoon’s fingers are far thicker, far longer than Jimin’s own, and he can’t help but whine at the difference. “You can touch me, feels good to have your hands on me.” 

Namjoon hesitantly runs his slick fingers against Jimin’s hole, following the same motions of Jimin’s own hand. Though the pressure against his hole feels good, Jimin has little patience for the teasing, not with the promise of Namjoon’s cock, his knot, his bite looming so near. He lets his first finger slide inside, moving slowly but with purpose, letting himself adjust to the feeling. 

“Yours next,” he pants, pressing himself back against Namjoon’s hand. “Want to feel you, please Joonie.” 

Namjoon is gentle with him, only using enough pressure to let his finger slip in beside Jimin’s. “It feels okay?” he checks, watching Jimin’s face carefully. 

“Feels good, you can move,” Jimin assures him. He feels like he’s got three of his own fingers inside, with the difference between his own and Namjoon’s fingers. It’s far more pleasurable, having his partner help stretch him. When he’s done this himself, it feels more like a means to an end, a necessary step but not a pleasing one. But with Namjoon…he wants more, wants to feel his fingers stretching him endlessly, wants to feel his alpha getting him ready for his cock. 

“Please, need…” Jimin trails off as Namjoon gains a bit more confidence, letting his finger press more intently against Jimin’s walls alongside Jimin’s own, searching for just the right spot to make him fall apart. 

“What do you need, Min?” Namjoon asks.

“Need another,” Jimin requests, even though he’s hardly had more than a few minutes with two. 

“Let’s get you a bit more stretched first,” Namjoon suggests, and then he hits his prostate and Jimin doesn’t have the words to argue.

Namjoon seems to remember just what it was like when Jimin teased his prostate, because he does exactly that, pressing and rubbing against it until Jimin is hardly moving his own finger, his limbs too loose and his brain too fuzzy. He can feel his cock dripping, the length throbbing angrily at the stimulation that’s just on the wrong edge of enough to come. 

After what feels like far too much teasing, Namjoon slides another finger into Jimin’s hole, scissoring them apart and continuing to tease his prostate when Jimin starts to squirm. 

“Joonie, want…want to come,” he whimpers, nearly forgetting their plan for him to come when Namjoon bites him. 

“Can you come twice?” Namjoon asks, going back to his leisurely fingering, avoiding pressing against Jimin’s prostate, ignoring his poor cock. 

“I don’t…don’t know,” Jimin admits. He thinks he probably could, especially with Namjoon, especially with the way his body and scent and fingers and cock affect him. But…

“Don’t you think you should wait then?” Namjoon asks him, and he’s so gentle but so mean . Even if he doesn’t intend to be. Jimin huffs. 

“Fine, then I want your cock now,” he decides. 

“But Min, you aren’t stretched enough, not for my knot…” Namjoon protests. 

“Don’t you think your cock will stretch me enough for your knot?” Jimin retorts. He just wants Namjoon, wants to come and feel his knot and his teeth and their bond in full. 

“One more finger, then you can have it,” Namjoon bargains, and only because Jimin knows deep down that he’s right, he acquiesces. 

Namjoon presses his third finger against Jimin’s rim, and he whines at the fullness. He might as well have used a pinky for all the good his own finger does beside Namjoon’s. 

“Can you give me four, and I’ll take mine out? Wrist hurts,” Jimin pouts. Really, he just wants the satisfaction of Namjoon’s fingers; his own will never be worthwhile again. 

“Yeah, just give me some more oil. Want you to feel good,” Namjoon agrees. Jimin quickly slides his finger out and pours oil along his hole, letting it drip between his legs and all along Namjoon’s fingers. 

“You look so good, all pink and dripping,” Namjoon groans, watching Jimin’s cock slide against his stomach as Jimin ruts back against his fingers. 

“All yours, alpha,” Jimin says, watching Namjoon’s eyes snap up to him. 

“Fuck, okay, do you think…”

“I’m ready, baby,” Jimin tells him immediately. He scoots back enough to let Namjoon’s cock rest between his legs, pouring more of the oil onto him and slowly slicking him up, admiring the way his cock is so hard and flushed, just from fingering Jimin. The base is already slightly swollen too, which doesn’t always happen, only when Namjoon is particularly turned on. “Joonie, your knot is already growing.” 

“I know…feels good today,” Namjoon says, but his cheeks are still pink. It’s adorable, and Jimin wants more.

“I can’t wait to feel you, gonna be so full,” Jimin whispers, holding Namjoon’s cock against his ass, letting it slide between his cheeks. “Fuck, feels so good even like this, could just warm your cock this way for hours.” 

But that’s not what Jimin needs now, not even close. He lets the head of Namjoon’s cock catch against his rim a few times, finally guiding it to slip inside. He can feel Namjoon’s hips resisting the urge to buck beneath him, and he’s glad that his weight is holding them down, because Namjoon is a lot.  

“Let me go slow, angel, then you can fuck me,” he says, focusing on relaxing enough to let Namjoon’s cock slip further in, inch by inch. Namjoon whines beneath him but stays still, his hands gripping Jimin’s hips so tightly Jimin thinks he’ll bruise. Good, more marks from my mate.  

The pressure of being filled so completely makes Jimin ache all over, the sweat building on his brow and making him feel like he’s beside a fire. His cock throbs, sticky with precum and flushed from being neglected for so long. But the warmth is pleasing too, the waves of satisfied alpha scent and content beta pheromones encapsulating them in a glorious cloud. He grinds his hips down in tiny thrusts, finally feeling Namjoon’s knot at his rim. 

“Knew I could take all of you,” he breathes, letting himself revel in the full length of Namjoon’s cock inside of him. 

“Fuck, Min, I…you’re so fucking tight, feels like I’m gonna come if you move,” Namjoon moans as Jimin chooses that moment to shift his hips, lettings his hands wander his alpha’s chest as he keeps his balance. 

“You don’t want to fuck me first?” Jimin asks, adjusting his angle and letting Namjoon’s cock slide a bit further out of him before pressing his hips back down. 

“Want to…can I?” Namjoon asks. Jimin pretends to consider, just for a second, but he knows his body is ready for it, craving it now. 

“Fuck me, Joon,” he says, wrapping one hand around Namjoon’s neck to pull him into a kiss. 

For an alpha that wasn’t sure about topping, Namjoon certainly seems to have an instinct for it. He’s gentle at first, giving Jimin soft thrusts, only pulling out a few inches, but his body quickly gets greedy for more. Jimin finds himself holding onto Namjoon’s hair, panting into his mouth as Namjoon starts to fuck him harder, letting Jimin feel the feel length of him sliding in and out of his hole, the slick of the oil and the pressure of his knot at the end of each thrust making him feel insane. 

“Joon, ah, gonna come soon, please…please knot me, bite me,” he whimpers. He knows it will hurt, all of it, the bite, the knotting, but he thinks the pleasure of being filled, of feeling Namjoon’s cum inside of him, their bond blossoming, will overcome it all. 

“You…you’re sure you want my knot?” Namjoon manages, and Jimin nods ferociously. He only wants it more, finally feeling it swell against him. He grabs the oil, pouring some into his hand and then wrapping his fingers around Namjoon’s knot, making sure it’s slippery enough. 

“I’m sure, please alpha,” he whispers, and he could swear that Namjoon’s eyes flicker darker. 

Namjoon’s thrusts grow harder still, and Jimin can feel his knot at every move. He presses back to meet Namjoon, and finally, finally, he feels the knot start to slide in. 

“Fuck, god Min, gonna come inside you, make you mine,” Namjoon growls, and Jimin yelps as the knot finally pops past his rim. He turns his head, offering his neck to Namjoon instinctively, feeling his orgasm only seconds away. 

“Bite me, Joonie, please, please,” he begs, and Namjoon doesn’t hesitate. Jimin feels his teeth on his neck, and all the sensations occur simultaneously: he feels the bite, feels Namjoon coming, feels his knot throbbing and keeping all the come plugged inside of him, feels himself come all over both of them, all of it endless, the pleasure surging through him like nothing he’s ever felt. 

“Min, bite me too, you have to…” Jimin sees Namjoon turn his head, offering his neck to Jimin in return, and he manages to lean forward, nosing once at Namjoon’s scent gland before biting down. It feels like he’s coming again, or maybe like he just never stopped; he knows instantly that he can feel Namjoon’s pleasure too, the way his every instinct is on fire, tied to Jimin in every way. 

Jimin licks at Namjoon’s neck, carefully cleaning and sealing the bite as best he can. He feels euphoric, like each drop of sweat and blood and saliva connects him more completely to Namjoon. He admires the bite, perfectly centered on Namjoon’s scent gland, each indent of his canines clear. He hardly notices that Namjoon’s knot has begun to go down until it slides from his hole. He whines as the cum starts to slip out of him, and Namjoon lets out a breathless chuckle. 

“Who knew you’d like being so messy?” he murmurs. 

“Just like being close to you,” Jimin replies. “Felt good.” 

“Yeah? I did okay?” Namjoon asks, and Jimin laughs. 

“Baby. I’ve never felt anything like that in my entire life. You did amazing,” he tells him. “Felt like I was never gonna stop coming.” 

“Let me clean your bite, and then we can clean you up,” Namjoon says, but Jimin stays stubbornly put on top of him. “Minnie, don’t want it to get infected, want it to stay this pretty forever.” 

Jimin does want to see his mark, so he allows Namjoon to lick over the wound a bit, then tells him where the first aid kit should be. 

“Don’t wanna bandage them, though,” he insists. “We can clean them, but I want to look at them.” 

Coincidentally (not at all, he asked Taehyung for it ahead of time), there’s a compact mirror in the first aid kit, so they can admire their bites. Jimin thinks they both look amazing, well-placed and deep enough to scar over well. “I’m glad we planned ahead for where we wanted them, I’ve seen some really ugly marks from unplanned matings,” he comments. 

“Me too,” Namjoon replies. “Yours is so nice, I’m gonna want to touch it all the time.”

“Same,” Jimin says. “Can you…do you feel the bond?”

Namjoon nods immediately. “Yeah, feels like…I can just sense traces of what you feel, and like all my emotions are kind of…compounded?” 

Jimin smiles. “We’re probably just feeling a lot of the same things right now, then. I think the intensity fades after a few days or weeks, but now…you’ll always know how I feel, especially about you.” 

“I’ll probably still second guess it, though,” Namjoon says abashedly. 

“That’s okay. I don’t mind repeating how much I love you, as often as you want to hear it,” Jimin tells him. 

“Can you say it again, then?” 

“I love you, Namjoon.” 

Despite Jimin’s protests about the nest smelling nice with the combined scents of sex and cum and oil, Namjoon convinces him to switch out at least a few of the blankets. 

“We’re just going to fuck again, I don’t see why it matters,” Jimin says. 

“I don’t want to be sticky,” Namjoon replies. 

And Jimin is entirely weak for whatever his alpha wants, so he replaces the top blankets with new ones. But only after Namjoon promises to let him scent him, and all the blankets. It’s the perfect excuse to lick against Namjoon’s new mating mark, to admire his work for a few extra minutes. 

Once they’ve perfected the nest (or, more accurately, Jimin has perfected the nest and then placed Namjoon in it), he brings over the cooler so they can eat in bed. He’s very attached to the idea of feeding his alpha, making sure that he’s cared for and full after making Jimin feel so good. 

“I can feed myself,” Namjoon says, seeming a little embarrassed by Jimin’s focus on giving him bites of fruit and bread and meat. 

“I know, but…I just want to,” Jimin admits. “Makes my wolf feel good, and I like watching you eat well.” 

He can tell that Namjoon doesn’t really mind; it’s more that he just doesn’t always know how to accept the extra care that Jimin wants to provide. He’s getting better though; Jimin knows that the Namjoon of a year ago could never have eaten more than a few bites this way. 

“I can’t believe we’re really mates now,” Namjoon says after they’ve finished eating. 

“Me neither,” Jimin says, nestling himself against Namjoon’s chest. He lets his fingers run along Namjoon’s stomach and hips, admiring the softness of his skin. He can’t seem to get enough of touching him today; it feels dramatically more intense to be separated from him, even for a few moments. “I’m so glad you dreamed me into reality.” 

Namjoon chuckles. “It does sort of feel that way sometimes. But then I realize, I couldn’t have ever imagined you. Not entirely, anyway, not all of the pieces of you. You’re beyond anyone I could have dreamed.” 

Jimin turns his head to look up at Namjoon. “I feel the same way about you. I didn’t ever think to dream about a mate, really. Especially once we left our familial pack, it just seemed like…I was meant to lead this pack, but that meant sacrificing other things. And I was okay with it, until I met you.” 

“It feels like fate, doesn’t it? Us meeting, all of these…instinctual responses to each other. Even your pack existing; that was part of how I got here, got to you. It all fits together,” Namjoon muses. 

Jimin nods. “It does. I don’t know if it was fate, or luck, or just the way the cards fell. It doesn’t really matter though, does it? I don’t care how we got here, as long as I get to keep you.” 

Namjoon wraps his arm around Jimin, pulling him closer. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Their handful of days in the cabin turns into a full week, their wolves entirely unable to cope with the idea of being apart just yet. Jimin had no idea that mating would feel this way; his body and his mind and his wolf constantly crave Namjoon. It’s more than any hunger or thirst or desire he’s ever experienced, and after a few days, he worries that it might last forever, that he’ll never be able to do anything but think about fucking Namjoon, hearing his voice, tasting him, sleeping beside him. 

“Joonie, need…need you,” he mumbles when he wakes up, already reaching for Namjoon’s cock, eyes hardly open. He doesn’t experience heat or rut cycles as a beta, but he thinks this must be the closest he’ll get. He’s never felt so horny before, never woken up multiple days in a row feeling like he’ll explode if he doesn’t get to come quickly. 

“Okay, fuck, do you need me to…” Namjoon asks, fumbling for their second bottle of oil. 

“No, just wanna be full,” Jimin says, straddling Namjoon’s hips and sinking down onto his cock as soon as Namjoon has gotten it slick enough with the oil. He couldn’t have imagined waking up stretched enough to take his alpha’s cock, but it turns out that fucking so often has kept him looser than usual. 

Once he’s settled on Namjoon’s cock, he feels much more at ease, letting his chest press against Namjoon’s and kissing him leisurely. Namjoon grips his ass, kneading at the cheeks, the pads of his fingers digging in deliciously. He licks against Namjoon’s lips, parting them easily, moaning as their tongues touch. Namjoon tastes so good all the time. Jimin can’t resist sucking on his tongue, feels Namjoon’s cock throb inside of him as he does. 

In the mornings, cock warming is usually enough for Jimin; he’d happily sit on Namjoon for an hour or two, just enjoying the fullness and the heat of his alpha, but it’s rarely enough for Namjoon. He can remain patient for a while, letting Jimin lick and suck at his lips, his neck, but eventually he’ll start rutting up into Jimin, unable to stay still. Sometimes Jimin complies, riding Namjoon’s cock and coming the moment he feels Namjoon’s cum inside of him. Other times, if Jimin is feeling too sore or tired, he’ll suck Namjoon off or eat him out. Which usually leads to Jimin fucking Namjoon, teasing his alpha relentlessly by grinding against his prostate but ignoring his leaking cock, only touching it if Namjoon whines and begs prettily enough. 

It’s not just a sexual craving, though. Jimin wants to stay awake as long as possible each day, wants to ask Namjoon a thousand questions, wants to hear him talk through all his favorite books and flowers and poems. He wants to imagine their futures aloud together, from the mundane moments to the larger milestones. He wants to relish in this uninterrupted time together, wants to strengthen and solidify their bond as much as possible in these early days. 

And when they’re exhausted, when their sentences are hardly making sense anymore, Jimin wants to fall asleep tangled up in Namjoon. It doesn’t matter that it’s too hot most nights, or that they’ll be forced to roll apart in their sleep to avoid sweating to death. He needs to touch his alpha, needs to smell like him and scent him often, needs to make sure that their mating marks are healing well and that his alpha doesn’t want for anything. He needs to feel Namjoon’s breath against his hair, needs to feel the way the grip of his fingers relaxes as he falls asleep. He needs to hear the gentle snores that tell him his alpha is truly resting well. 

On the fifth day, they finally start to feel a semblance of normalcy, the bond settling and letting their wolves calm down a bit more. There’s still a hint of intensity, a deep-seated craving for one another, but Jimin can sense how it will shift. He can once again begin to consider the possibility of more than five minutes apart from his mate. 

Still, it doesn’t stop him from continuing to kiss Namjoon until his lips are numb and swollen for the next two days. 

Jimin can’t help but feel a little mournful when they finally decide to return to the pack. He thinks that he could probably hide away forever with Namjoon, but maybe it’s just the hormones and the high of mating. He knows, logically, that he’d eventually miss his friends and his pack family and all the duties and routines he’s created for himself. It’s just that he’ll also miss having nothing but pleasuring Namjoon to do each day. 

“Just a few more minutes,” he insists when they’ve tidied up the cabin and piled up all the blankets to be returned to Jimin’s cabin later. Namjoon said something about washing them, but Jimin definitely plans to keep at least a few with their intermingled scents for himself. He’s pretty sure that Namjoon still isn’t going to be comfortable with sex in the vicinity of the pack, especially considering how much noise he can make, so it’s not as though they’ll be able to recreate the glorious scent on a regular schedule. 

“Jimin, you said that yesterday and then we didn’t leave at all,” Namjoon reprimands softly, and Jimin pouts. He did say it yesterday, but he definitely wasn’t actually ready to go. He still needed those hours with just Namjoon. He’s ready today, but he just needs a few more kisses…

“Sorry, Joonie,” he breathes against his mouth. “Just…you taste so good, and I’m going to miss doing this all the time.”

“Are you sure that you don’t get heats?” Namjoon teases, but he holds Jimin flush against him when he tries to pull away.

“I don’t! Just…don’t you feel it too?” Jimin whines, his cheeks feeling hot with embarrassment. Maybe he’s just more affected than Namjoon? It sends a pang of sadness through him, thinking that there’s some sort of inequality in their bond. 

“I do, don’t look like that,” Namjoon quickly reassures him. “I think that I just…I know we’ll find plenty of time together. And I also have less on my plate than you, my sweet pack leader. I can always come find you if I need more kisses, right?” 

Jimin nods, nuzzling against Namjoon’s mating mark. “Any time. Nothing is more important, I’d say.” 

He manages to keep Namjoon for another half hour, carefully licking his healing mark, scenting each inch of his exposed skin twice over, kissing his already-swollen lips. He almost wishes they hadn’t returned to wearing clothes, but he thinks he might feel a little jealous if the whole pack got to see Namjoon naked. He knows many of them don’t care about nudity, don’t consider it sexual innately, but…he feels a little possessive, especially now. 

“Am I ready now?” Namjoon asks him, a bit breathless after Jimin finally stops kissing him to look him over. 

“Think so,” Jimin replies. “Everyone will know you’re my mate for sure.” 

“I think they were all aware before, you know, with the whole ceremony and the announcement…” Namjoon yelps when Jimin nips playfully at him. 

“What happened to my sweet alpha that read me poems? He would never talk to me that way,” Jimin laments dramatically. Still, he lets Namjoon intertwine their hands as they start their walk back to the pack. Jimin only drags his feet a little bit. 

As they cross the threshold of the camp, Jimin has to admit that it feels nice to come home. He’s missed the bustle of his packmates tidying up, building the fire for the evening, and hurrying around the kitchen area. He missed the sound of the pups playing and their parents scolding them for being too rough or rowdy. He missed the smell of meat cooking and the scents of his friends. He missed…

“JIMIN!” 

Taehyung comes barreling up to him, nearly tackling him to the ground since Jimin has almost no time to brace himself for the embrace. 

“You didn’t say you’d be gone for a whole week ! I would have mentally prepared myself better!” Taehyung grumbles into his hair, and Jimin giggles. 

“As if you and Yoongi aren’t gone just as long when you’re in heat,” he replies. 

“Did Namjoon go into rut?!” Taehyung gasps, whipping his head up to look at Namjoon. 

“Tae! Do I already need to remind you, no questions about our sex life!” Jimin scolds, and Taehyung pouts at him. 

“Oh, so you can come back from an entire week away smelling like you’ve been fucking that entire time, and I can’t ask a single question about it? What kind of friendship is this?” 

Jimin looks mock-sternly at Taehyung, stage-whispering, “You can ask… later, when Namjoonie isn’t listening.” 

They’d known Taehyung’s curiosity would be far too much to keep at bay after they mated, so they’d discussed ahead of time what was okay to talk about. Namjoon said he didn’t mind Jimin sharing some details with Taehyung, as long as he wasn’t within earshot and they weren’t too intimate. 

“I don’t want him knowing, like…the sounds I make, or what we talk about during, but…if you want to say what felt good, and the general experience, that’s okay,” Namjoon told Jimin, already hiding his face against Jimin’s chest in embarrassment. 

Jimin agreed easily. He wants to keep some of the details private as well, but…well, he also wants to brag about his alpha to his best friend a bit. 

“Really?!” Taehyung cries happily. He glances at Namjoon, then smiles sweetly. “Joonie, can I borrow your mate for a little while? I promise I’ll bring him back in time for dinner.” 

Namjoon shakes his head fondly, tugging Jimin to him for one more kiss first. Jimin smiles against his lips; Namjoon rarely, if ever, would have initiated a kiss even a few weeks ago in public. He hopes Namjoon can feel the flush of pleasure at his confidence through their bond. 

“I’ll be back soon,” he promises Namjoon before letting Taehyung pull him off to his cabin. 

“Let me see the bite,” Taehyung demands immediately, and Jimin tilts his head obediently. Taehyung examines it closely, humming in approval. “He did well, it’s so nicely placed. What did it feel like?” 

“The most amazing feeling in the world, Tae, I can’t even describe it,” Jimin says, already feeling dreamy thinking about it. 

“I bet you can’t, you were probably knot-drunk when he did it,” Taehyung smirks. 

Jimin smacks him. “I was not ! At least…not really,” he amends. 

“I knew it!” Taehyung giggles. “You don’t have to tell me anything that goes across your boundaries, but…I’ll listen to any details you want to share.” 

And while Jimin won’t admit it to Namjoon, it’s definitely nice to be home, curled up with his best friend, giggling about being in love and how much they adore their alphas. 

It takes a few days to get back into the routine of things, of having to wake up at a normal time and actually go about his business instead of lounging against Namjoon’s chest for hours. There may have been a few discrete moments where they met up midday to…catch up, and scent one another, and maybe share a few kisses. 

“Min, you smell like Namjoon. Again,” Jungkook complains when Jimin emerges from the cabin to help Jungkook with logging their meat stores for the coming cooler months. 

“He’s my mate, I’m supposed to smell like him,” Jimin retorts. 

“In the middle of the day? When you were supposedly taking a ‘quick lunch break’?” Jungkook asks skeptically. 

“We had lunch together,” Jimin says petulantly. 

“God, stop, I don’t want to know about your lunch,” Jungkook crinkles his nose. “Do you think that we’ll need to do a few extra hunting runs? We have a good amount, but the pups are growing and now we have a few new wolves too, so I don’t want to depend on last year’s numbers.” 

Jimin nods in agreement. “You’re probably right. I’d rather have a little extra than not quite enough.” 

They chat a bit about when to send out the hunting parties and how to best preserve the meat over the cooler months, but Jimin’s mind starts to wander quickly. They’re lucky in that there’s little snow in this area, only a bitter chill to the air and some bracing winds in the cold season. He thinks having a mate to curl up with will make those months far more tolerable…

“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” 

Jungkook is staring accusingly at Jimin, and he shakes himself out of those thoughts. “Sorry, Kook. I know I’m being annoying. It’s just…still intense.”

Jungkook softens a bit at that. “Yeah, I’ve heard that the bond can feel really strong in the beginning. But…it’s good, right? You’re happy?” 

Jimin nods. “It’s kind of overwhelming in some ways, that’s why my mind just isn’t all here. I can feel him all the time, and it makes me want to be with him, make sure he’s okay, you know? But it’s settling, it’s not as much as it was the first few days. I think it just needs a bit more time.” 

Jungkook bumps his shoulder against Jimin’s. “As long as you’re not a space cadet forever. We need our level-headed leader, you know?” 

“You all do plenty for the pack without me, though,” Jimin replies. And he knows it’s true; there was hardly a ripple in the daily activities with him gone, though it was a planned absence. He knows his pack can run smoothly without him, knows he has plenty of trustworthy packmates to step into his various roles. 

“Sure, but everyone looks to you for guidance. You’re kind of like our north star, or something,” Jungkook says. 

“Aw, Kook, you can say that you love me,” Jimin teases, wrapping an arm around him. Jungkook wiggles for a moment, but then relaxes into Jimin’s hold. 

“I do,” he admits. “I’m glad you’re happy, Min. I’m glad you brought Namjoon and Jinnie and Hobi to us, they belong here.” 

“Maybe you’ll have mates of your own soon?” Jimin asks, tilting his head to examine Jungkook’s expression. “Or do you want that?” 

Jungkook shrugs. “Maybe? I like spending time with them, and the way you describe the bond…I think that would feel good, for all of us to be connected? But…I’m not sure if it’s right for us. We’ve talked about it a bit, but we have plenty of time to think about it. You and Joonie will be the test subjects to see what it’s like.”

“I’ll be happy for you, either way. I see how much they both care for you, feeding you and brushing out your fur and keeping you scented,” Jimin says gently. He knows that Jungkook sometimes gets shy talking about Seokjin and Hoseok, so he doesn’t want to push if it’s not welcomed. 

Jungkook nods, his ears and neck a bit pink. “Yeah. I…I try to mostly take care of myself, you know? I want to be able to be self-sufficient. And I know I can rely on the pack, but it’s nice to have them too. Just…different. But it’s good,” Jungkook nods, and Jimin takes that as a sign to switch the topic back to the food stores. But he does make a mental note to keep checking in with Jungkook; he wants to make sure that all remains well with the younger wolf, wants to make sure that he is being taken care of in all the ways he needs.

It’s strange in some ways for all of his original little pack to have found partners. They were all so young when they created the Heartleaf pack, and mates were the furthest thing from their minds. But it’s also kind of incredible that so much love has sprung up amongst them. 

Jimin thinks it’s just another tendril of fate, the mysterious effect of the river and a pack that heals.  

Jimin brings up the idea of working on a pack history to Namjoon a few weeks after they’ve mated. Namjoon and the other wolves have made great progress on the little school cabin; only a few small adjustments are needed before it will be finished. He knows that Namjoon wants to continue feeling useful, so it seems like the perfect time. Jimin would be happy for him to take a break between projects, but he’s sure that suggestion wouldn’t go over well. 

“Joonie, do you have any thoughts about what you’d like to do after the school cabin is done? I know we talked about a couple of things months ago, but I didn’t know if anything had changed since then,” Jimin asks one evening after they’ve curled up in their nest. 

“Hmm, well, I like helping Taehyung and Hoseok with gathering plants and berries. It’s nice to get out and explore the territory a bit, learn it better,” Namjoon says thoughtfully. “But that’s not an especially big task, so I’ll definitely need something more substantial. I know you mentioned maybe…teaching a bit about poems?” he says hesitantly, and Jimin nods. 

“I would love for you to do that, especially now that we have a few more books. I bet you would get a lot of interest,” Jimin encourages. “Maybe once or twice a week would be a good place to start, and we can go from there?” 

Namjoon nods, looking nervous but excited. “I thought…maybe we could read a poem, and then try writing one in the same style? That might make it easier. And then if anyone wants to share, they can, but I know that can be a lot to ask, so it wouldn’t be required. It wouldn’t be big enough to call a class, I suppose…but more like a club?” 

Jimin is pleased that Namjoon feels confident enough to try his suggestion at all; he hopes that at least a few of the other wolves find the same comfort in poems that Namjoon does. He wants Namjoon to be able to share that part of himself, to discuss words and writing with other wolves that understand what it means to him. 

“I had another idea, too,” Jimin says slowly. He doesn’t want to overwhelm Namjoon, but he thinks that he’d be the perfect fit for this role. 

“What is it?” Namjoon asks eagerly, and Jimin smiles up at him. He loves how his alpha always wants to help, how he’ll happily jump into any task asked of him, even if he’s not sure he’ll be good at it. 

“Well, since our pack is fairly new, we don’t have any sort of pack records,” Jimin begins, and Namjoon nods. “I was wondering if you’d like to help me create one so that we can keep track of our history, and we’ll have something to pass down to other generations.” 

He feels Namjoon breathe out, his arms tightening around Jimin. “You…you want me to do that?” Namjoon asks quietly. 

“Well, you’re the only writer we have,” Jimin says. “Who could be better than you?” 

“But…but everyone has been here for so much longer than me,” Namjoon protests. “You don’t think it should be someone else?” 

Jimin shakes his head. “I think that’s what makes you perfect for it, actually. You haven’t heard everyone’s stories yet, you don’t know all of our histories. You’ll have the freshest perspective on all of it.” 

Namjoon chews on his cheek, and Jimin gently traces his fingers along his face, reminding him to stop. “How do you want me to do it? I don’t really have any experience with this sort of thing.” 

“Well, I was thinking about collecting some of the same details for everyone. You know, the basics, like birthdates and names and family members and maybe when they joined the pack? But beyond that, I’m open to suggestions.”

“What about pictures?” Namjoon asks, and Jimin hums thoughtfully. He hadn’t considered that part, but it’s a good idea. 

“We don’t have a camera, but Jungkookie is pretty good at drawing, and Taehyung isn’t bad either. I bet they would help with that. I’m not sure everyone will want to actually sit still for a portrait style drawing, but they can get creative,” Jimin says. He’s actually positive that those two will find a way to make a game of it, maybe competing over who can draw the most accurate renditions of their pack members. 

“Will it include subgenders, too?” Namjoon asks. 

“I think that should be up to everyone individually,” Jimin says carefully. “It could be useful information for families, maybe? From a genetic standpoint? But…I also feel like it doesn’t especially matter in this pack.”

“I think it would be nice to include alongside the stories, or maybe at the end?” Namjoon suggests. “Like, here’s a wolf that hunts and helps with the preparation of meat and carries the heaviest packs on supply runs. He’s never had pups, never wanted them. But he’s also an omega.” 

Jimin nods, pleased with the idea. “I like that too, showing the core reasons why we formed the pack in the first place. And I hope that over the years, those ‘twists’ to the story don’t come as such a surprise anymore. Like, any subgender can hunt, any subgender can choose what sort of family they want, any subgender can lead.” 

“An alpha can be a poet,” Namjoon says softly. 

“Exactly,” Jimin says, turning Namjoon’s face so he can kiss him gently. “My alpha is a poet, and he’s the best one I know.” 

Namjoon is quick to get started on his new project, and Jimin loves watching him shyly approach new pack members to ask about interviewing them for the pack history. It’s adorable to see his tall, broad alpha acting so shy and sweet. 

To ease himself into it, Namjoon starts with Jimin. He has a little list of basic information to fill in, and then he dives into the more interesting questions he’s come up with. 

“What does being a beta mean to you?”

“You left your familial pack because the traditional values didn’t fit the lifestyle you envisioned for yourself. What are the values you want this pack to carry on in the future?” 

“Do you believe in a particular hierarchy system within a pack?” 

“What is your favorite place in the pack territory?”

“Well, that one is easy, at least,” Jimin laughs. “My favorite place is at the edge of the territory, along the river, where I met this wonderful gray wolf. He didn’t say much at first, but I knew instinctively that there were a lot of beautiful words inside that head.” 

“Min, I can’t put that in here,” Namjoon complains. 

“Why not? It’s true, and it’s a good answer to the question!” Jimin protests. 

Namjoon can’t argue with that, but he continues to grumble under his breath, something about professionalism. Jimin ignores him; Namjoon is part of his history, and he doesn’t want to exclude a single one of those beautiful details. 

However, Jimin could definitely do without Jungkook and Taehyung arguing over who gets to draw his portrait for the records. He’s honestly surprised that they don’t shift to wrestle over it, but they’re about three inches from that at this point anyway. 

“I’ve known him longer, I should get to draw him!” Taehyung grouses. 

“But I’ve been drawing for longer, so it should clearly be me,” Jungkook retorts. 

Jimin rolls his eyes at both of them. “How about you both draw something and we can decide from there? Or you could work together on one drawing?” 

Of course, that leads to a long spiel from both of them about how our styles are completely different, how could you even imagine that we could draw one together, and if we make it a decision between the two of us, someone’s feelings are going to get hurt! 

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you! How about one of you gets to do my portrait, and the other does Namjoon? Will that make it fair?” Jimin says exasperatedly. 

He should have known that would lead to an argument about who gets to draw Namjoon. 

In the end, Yoongi writes each pack member’s name down on a piece of paper, tears them off into squares, and puts them in little folded pieces in a bowl. He puts Namjoon and Jimin in their own bowl, and then presents them to Jungkook and Taehyung. 

“This way, it’s completely fair, and then we will have no more whining,” he says firmly. 

“Wow, that was hot,” Taehyung says, gazing at Yoongi. “I love when you’re decisive.” 

Taehyung draws Namjoon’s paper, and Jungkook gets Jimin. They seem pleased enough with this outcome, and Jimin wonders why they couldn’t have just decided without all the drama. 

“Taehyungie’s style really suits Namjoon’s features,” Jungkook says, and Taehyung nods agreeably. 

“And Kook’s lines will really make Jimin come to life!” 

Jimin has a suspicion that he will be purchasing a lot more parchment and art supplies on the next trip to the human villages. He doesn’t mind, though. He likes seeing his friends working together on something like this, all putting their talents together to create a lasting history. 

He’s most impressed when Namjoon brings him a new suggestion for the project. 

“There’s something I was thinking about adding to the history, but it’s a little…ambitious,” he admits. 

“Let’s hear it,” Jimin says. He’s not in any rush to complete the project; he’d rather it be done carefully and with plenty of details. 

“I was thinking…what if we also included some sort of poetic element for everyone? I could write poems for some of the wolves, the ones I know best, and if anyone is interested after the class…maybe some others would like to write poems as well? Or include a line from a poem that they enjoyed?” Namjoon suggests. 

“Oh, I love that idea, Joonie. I think that what you’ve said, about alphas being poets, is so powerful. I wonder if maybe that should be part of the inscription? Or like, a subtitle of some sort?” Jimin ponders aloud. 

Namjoon nods excitedly. “That’s what I was thinking too. Maybe it could be like, ‘A pack where alphas can be poets, betas can be leaders, and omegas can be hunters’?”

“I love that!” Jimin exclaims. “Do you think we should keep it like that, or maybe make the omega subject a bit broader? Not all of our omegas hunt, so I want to make sure it feels inclusive.”

Namjoon chews his thumbnail thoughtfully. “Well, not all of the alphas are poets either, so if that’s the qualifier, I’m not sure the concept works. We can brainstorm the word choices later, though. Maybe get input from the rest of the pack, see what they think?” 

The pack history quickly becomes a larger pack project, and while Jimin initially worried that it would make Namjoon feel like he was contributing less, he thinks it’s actually done the opposite. He watches as Namjoon flourishes, sees him writing nearly every day, listening carefully to the cadences and words of the pack, writing in the tiniest script possible in his notebook. Sometimes he still wanders off on his own to write, and Jimin will find him gazing up at the clouds or across the flower field, but there are other days when he’ll be happily settled beside Taehyung or Hoseok, scribbling away on the page or in the dirt. 

He watches as Namjoon learns the stories of each wolf in the pack, listening with such gentle attention that Jimin is sure it will break his heart as it swells. He sees even his shyest packmates opening up to Namjoon, and he sees Namjoon breaking down his own barriers in turn. He doesn’t flinch away from the other alphas anymore, especially after hearing the way they experienced similar treatment to him in their previous packs. He watches as Namjoon hears how Woosung was expected to continue his pack bloodline as the alpha son of a pack alpha, but he refused to mate with the omega that was chosen for him. He sees Namjoon hold Kazuha’s hand in sympathy as she tells him about how she became nauseous at the sight of blood but was forced to join each hunting party, often being carried back to the pack because she had fainted. 

He watches as Namjoon becomes part of the pack, more and more each day. With every story he hears, with every wolf he calms with his steady presence. He watches as Namjoon uses his paper so sparingly, even now, even after Jimin insisted that he didn’t have to, that there was plenty to go around. 

“I need to save it for the typed versions,” Namjoon says, and Jimin just sighs. He wants Namjoon to feel free to use his typewriter and his notebook and every gift Jimin has given him, but he knows it will take time to get rid of the scarcity mindset he’s lived with his entire life. 

When Namjoon does finalize a story, Jimin loves to watch him at the typewriter, his fingers moving so slowly, trying not to make a single mistake. It’s inevitable, of course; sometimes the lines don’t quite fit onto the page, or sometimes he realizes that he hasn’t transcribed things in quite the order that he intended. Jimin does his best to keep his pheromones calming, to make sure that Namjoon doesn’t get too upset over metaphorical (or once, literal) spilled ink. 

It’s a painstaking process, but Jimin is incredibly proud of his mate and how seriously he’s taking the task. He spends hours with each member of the pack, making sure that any story they wish to tell is heard with open ears and included in the most tactful and sensitive way. He is clearly the best fit for the job, even though he still questions it now and then. 

Since Jimin’s interview was the first to be completed, Namjoon also has his typed version completed first. Jimin tries not to think too much about it, tries to forget that he’s going to see himself, once again, through the scope of Namjoon’s eyes. It’s always a little breathtaking, to realize exactly how Namjoon views him. It’s exactly the way that he wanted to be seen, even as a pup, even when he didn’t realize exactly what he was envisioning. He wanted to be a leader, but gentle. He wanted to be sensitive but logical. He wanted to be valuable and loved and kind. 

When Namjoon writes about him, Jimin is all of these things and more. He’s not entirely sure he believes in the reality of those words, not entirely sure if there’s some sort of rose-colored mating glasses that cause Namjon to see him in a more ideal light than anyone else, but no one seems to bat an eye, so…Jimin has to believe that there’s some truth in the words. 

“Do you want to see?” Namjoon finally asks him, after fussing over the pages and typing them up at least three times. The drawing isn’t included yet; they decided it would be best to do those separately and then attach them to the pages once the book is put together. Jimin supposes that they could have gotten a camera and added photos, but the drawings just seemed like a more accurate representation for the pack. It might not be a bad idea to add a photo section in the back, though, he thinks to himself, making a mental note to look into cameras next time they go to the town. 

“Of course I do, but only if you’re ready to show me,” Jimin replies. He’s absolutely itching to see what Namjoon has written, which details he felt were most important to include, but he doesn’t want to push him before he’s finished. He knows how Namjoon is about his writing; even with this project, where the larger percentage is non-fiction, he finds a way to put his creative spin on it, and that results in his perfectionist streak coming out. 

“I’m ready, I think,” Namjoon says, and Jimin giggles. “I just…I don’t know if I’ll ever think it’s perfect, but…it feels complete, so you can see it.” 

Jimin reaches out for the pages, taking them carefully from Namjoon’s hands. There’s a space at the top for the drawing, and below that, the biographical details he’d provided. His name, birthdate, and status as pack leader. Of course, Namjoon included the most intelligent lines he’d collected in the hours of conversation, making Jimin seem far smarter than he thinks he actually is. He comes across as a revered leader, which he isn’t entirely sure he deserves after such a short time, but he’ll accept it. He loves the sections about how he believes a pack should all play a role in leadership, how he thinks everyone’s opinions need to be taken into account to have a successful dynamic. 

But the best part, in his entirely unbiased opinion, is the poem that Namjoon included at the end. It’s not especially long, but it feels all the more potent for its length, like every word was chosen with precision and care. 

i’ve heard the ancestors are like scattered 

stardust or like ancient redwoods. 

i’ve heard love is like cool water

or like a brewing windstorm. 

i’ve heard i am like delicate ceramic

or like chipped gray stone.

i’ve heard life is a dichotomy,

painted in dual tones.

but heartleaf can’t be broken

into only two; our roots hold strong,

a growing pack planted by you. 

“Namjoonie,” Jimin whispers. “Are you going to write poems like this for everyone?” 

Namjoon shakes his head, smiling softly. “You’re the only one that I want to write like this about. It just…happens naturally. I think it’s because you’re the one that really made me believe that I could be an alpha and a poet. You’re kind of my muse, as cheesy as it sounds.” he chuckles at himself. 

Jimin shakes his head, settling himself into Namjoon’s lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. “No, it’s perfect. I love it, I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Namjoon murmurs against his lips. 

When the book is finally finished, almost a year after Namjoon began working on it, Jimin purchases a book binding kit so they can put it all together. But he also makes a special order for the cover to surprise Namjoon with, something that will last for years to come. 

The cover is embossed with a silver inscription just below the pack name. It reads: “Heartleaf Pack, A History: Where alphas can be poets, betas can be leaders, and omegas can be free.”