Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

4:45… Just fifteen more minutes…

The fluorescent lights were starting to become blinding, as if her vision weren’t already blurry enough behind her thick square glasses. One would think after about 20 years of this kind of environment, she would be used to it by now. But something about the hum of the overhead lights, the distant sounds of typing, and general dead silence of her world was more mind-numbing than usual today.

4:46. Just fourteen more minutes. Eyes are starting to feel heavy now. Despite going to bed as early as she could, it’s as if she just felt more and more tired with each passing day. Maybe she should schedule a doctor’s appointment… on her lousy insurance? “World’s finest coverage” for sure. With the workload her boss dumps on her each day, asking for time off would be a losing battle anyway.

4:49… Maybe she could just rest her eyes for a second and no one will notice. All the usual office snitches had already left for the day. Hopefully taking her boss with them. Yeah, just a few minutes to get her energy back so she can survive the rest of the day…

“… Pamby…”

Her head shot up. At first, she thought it was a coworker that caught her sleeping, or was ready to assign her another last minute report to fill out. But the cubicle room was empty… still illuminated by the dull light above. All except for the open doorway, leading into pitch black darkness.

“ Paaaaamby…”

She blinked. Despite her lack of a reaction, her mind was wracked with confusion, but also a fuzz that covered her common sense… slowly, she stood up and floated forward towards the darkness, her little square wings buzzing with anticipation. The voice grew clearer… it sounded so captivating.

“Pamby… Pamby… Pam…”

The closer she got, the thicker the fog in her mind became. It was setting every nerve on fire. But in a way that was… pleasurable. Euphoric, maybe. Her hand ghosted around the dark shadows surrounding the doorway before stretching towards the abyss…

“Pamby…”

“Pamby…”

“PAMBY.”

The pixie jerked upwards from her desk, so fast it nearly gave her vertigo. Blinking, she shook the sleep from her mind and held her aching head. What time was it…? Her pink pupils drifted to the clock on her computer, which was now on the dull single color screensaver.

5:32. Oh… Her eyes drifted to her right. The bored but stern face of her boss met her gaze. Oooh…

“Normally, I wouldn’t have bothered and just locked the door behind me again, but lucky for you I need your assistance before you leave.” he droned in his usual monotone voice. He lightly tapped the side of his “#1 Boss” coffee mug on her computer monitor. “It’s not like you to sleep on the job, y’know. You know how we feel about wasted company time.”

“R-Right, I’m sorry, sir… I’ve been looking into getting checked for signs of narcolepsy…” Her fingers pinch her temples as she pushes strands of her dark brown hair out of her eyes.

“As long as you keep it from affecting your work, I really don’t care.” Head Pixie’s apathy for her well-being was so common it was practically just casual banter to her at this point. “Anyway, let’s get going so the security can lock up. Unless you want to spend the night here again.”

The very low-energy threat was still enough to force his intern to rise from her chair. She grabbed her work bag off the counter and floated behind him silently towards the door, her mind still lingering on that foggy feeling from her dream… Had she heard that voice from somewhere before?

“We’re going to be meeting some colleagues at the downtown Blande Eatery. As you know, you’re taking over Sanderson’s duties while he’s out on his second honeymoon, so I expect you to be on your most professional behavior. Which means no sleeping at the table.” No chuckle with that delivery. Of course not. Humor isn’t exactly “professional”. H.P. stopped before they arrived at the elevator, however. “Oh, and one more thing before we go.”

Something was shoved into Pamby’s hands. She squinted. His coffee mug? 

“Decaf. No cream or sugar. You were late with my mid-afternoon coffee so I’m being generous by giving you the chance to fetch it now. You have one minute.” he demanded, still completely monotone. Pamby’s tired and dead gaze met his for a moment, almost as if she was struggling from spitting a retort back. Tight-lipped, she simply nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

-

The streets of Pixie World were much more straightforward and uniform than its more unpredictable and colorful fairy cousin, making navigation much easier. The square-headed identical pixie drones roamed the busy streets, either on a business call or completely glued to checking the stock market on their magical phones. With the new technology of the day, a few had even upgraded to wireless earpieces or with their communications and business files embedded into their shades. In between this, they checked the street signs and subway schedules to make sure they were going the right way, as the usual teleportation fairies were used to was downsized to save on magic costs.

Everyone was thoroughly distracted and in their own narrow view of their world… a perfect cover for the shadowy figure currently skulking through their pixelated city.

“Feh… this place is even more boring than when I last saw it as a child.” A smarmy British-accented voice spoke out to himself. He was hidden from sight within a dark alley, watching the world’s residents float by like a lion lying in wait for its prey. He had to keep an eye out for someone in particular… if he missed him, his conquest plan would fall apart before it even starts. “No matter. If I couldn’t claim Fairy World for the anti-fairies, then this is still the next best thing. It’ll be more fulfilling stealing it from out under their fingers than signing into another one of their predatory contracts for a business partnership. I work alone now! I don’t care what you have to say about it, FATHER!”

His voice raised slightly enough to make a couple of pixies look around for a second, making the anti-fairy squeak and go back into hiding, his hands over his mouth. Luckily, the pixies weren’t risking being behind schedule and continued on their way almost immediately. He let out a sigh of relief.

“That was close… I thought I had finally grown out of the habit of talking to myself. I guess you can take Irep out of Abracatraz but you can’t fully take Abracatraz out of Irep…” he grumbled, brushing some dust off his leather jacket. His pointy ear twitched suddenly at the sound of monotonous laughter. He knew that despicable voice… Well, it was what everyone sounded like here, but he had run into their obnoxious leader enough times to have his dull headache-inducing tone drilled into his brain. A sinister grin grew across Irep’s mustached face. His target shouldn’t be too far behind.

“So I said to the guy at the DMV, ‘Only a 15 hour wait time to get a license renewal sent in? What kind of sloppy work are you doing back there? I bet those IDs are being made with copy paper and crayon on that kind of rush job.’” H.P. entertained a group of other pixies floating beside him, who all began to laugh with him in that same lifeless tone. Peering like a phantom from within the alley, Irep tried his best to make out H.P.’s kiss-up assistant in their group. Why do all of these freaks have to look exactly the same? Were they made in a factory or something? He needed to be sure it was Sanderson specifically for this plan to work… Well, that sunglasses-clad robot was usually to H.P.’s left as if he were his shadow, so these other ones must be somebody else.

As the group floated towards the door of the beige and flat restaurant ahead of them, one of the pixie colleagues suddenly patted his suit pocket.

“Oh, nuts. I forgot my wallet. I’ll have to sit this one out.” he stated flatly. H.P. shook his head, however.

“Don’t worry, Desterhoft. It’s on me tonight.” he offered, the other pixies letting out a very bored sounding “Yay.”. H.P. snapped his fingers to his left. “Pamby. My wallet, if you would.”

Irep’s face scrunched in confusion. Who in the devil’s name was…? Then he saw: a smaller pixie, wearing large square glasses hiding very tired eyes, in a matching suit similar to their colleagues. Only… this pixie looked nothing like them everywhere else. A chubby body and cheeks, a round nose, dark chocolate colored hair held in a downwards bun… and she was very clearly a girl pixie, something he didn’t know was possible. Irep’s eyes widened in surprise and curiosity. His brain fogged over the more he stared at her, nearly forgetting why he was even there as he watched her take a small grey wallet from her workbag and hand it to her boss.

“Here you go, sir.” Her voice was just as tired as her eyes, and yet with a bit more life in it than the others. Almost as if she was forcing herself to sound monotonous along with them. The slight southern twang was still noticable though, making Irep’s ears twitch. Her boss didn’t even thank her as they made their way into the restaurant, Irep catching the girl pixie sighing to herself before disappearing behind the double doors. Once she was out of sight, it was like his mind snapped back to reality as he shook his head a bit to focus. 

Who WAS that? Were there always female pixies? Could pixies actually look different this whole time? Or was she some kind of… exchange employee from another realm? And WHERE was Sanderson?? The blue fae held the sides of his cube-shaped cranium in thought, his brow furrowing. 

Well, a change of plans was needed quick before they made their move again… Originally, Irep was going to try and manipulate H.P.’s right-hand man to join his side in usurping his boss so Sanderson could be in charge instead. He had found out recently the man had gotten married a few years ago, and thought maybe he could use that angle to convince Sanderson to revolt by befriending his husband. But if he’s gone… then maybe…?

With a snap of his fingers, Irep teleported in a dark cloud over to a shaded corner by the restaurant, just close enough to peer through the window. In the middle of the restaurant sat the group of suits at a nicely cleaned booth table. As that blowhard kept conversing with his colleagues over a basket of saltless french fries, the stand-in assistant Irep saw was sitting to the far side, her head down as she boredly rolled a few fries on her plate. Irep stroked his goatee in thought. She looked… completely miserable. Not in the usual apathetic attitude of a pixie, but just absolutely dejected, like she hated every second she was there. 

The fae’s dark eyes kept focus on her body language as she listened to her coworkers continue to talk. Suddenly, H.P. elbowed her in the rib slightly while gesturing to her, still smiling to the others. Irep couldn’t exactly hear through the glass, but whatever that arrogant old man said clearly touched a nerve, Pamby’s face heating up as she glared at the floor while the others laughed at her expense. Observing this, an idea began to form in Irep’s mind, making him grin evilly. Oh, he could definitely work with this.

After tapping her fork against the table and failing to drown out the sound of her coworkers’ mockery, Pamby sighed and sat up, saying something to H.P.. Her boss simply rolled his eyes and waved his hand to tell her she’s excused, his overworked intern nearly jumping up from the table and making her way to the front door. Irep’s ears stood up in a panic. He had to hide, and quick. In another puff of dark smoke, he vanished, just before Pamby made her way outside.

At first, it seemed like she was heading to a nearby restroom on the side of the restaurant… but she hesitated before passing by it right into an alley next to it. She floated to a dark corner of the greyscale brick wall in front of her, placing a hand onto it to steady herself as she sighed in exasperation. Silence filled the air for about a minute… before a growl tore out of her and her fist collided into the stone.

CRACK.

Despite such an uncharacteristic outburst for a pixie, her one moment of breaking character went unnoticed by the forever-moving world around her. Just like it always did. Even the crack that now lined the wall blended into the background, along with its creator. Pamby’s hands slumped to her sides.

“Why did I agree to this… I should’ve told Sanderson to find someone else to cover for him. He knows how hard the boss pushes me already.” she muttered to herself. She rubbed a hand up her face, pushing her glasses up slightly. “But I did promise Hellfur… I just don’t know how much more I can stomach this. With him on his honeymoon, there’s no one here to talk to so I can at least vent my frustration. No one else even cares what he says about me… or how he treats me… nobody cares at all.”

She sniffled, but quickly wiped her eyes with her sleeve. No need for that while still on the clock, she needed to get back before H.P. suspects something. Straightening her suit out and adjusting her tie, Pamby turned to leave the alley, but was halted by a sudden cloud of smoke forming. Sparks of blue electricity flew out of the darkness, and from the center were a pair of glowing red eyes staring her down. The pixie froze up like a deer in headlights.

“Don’t be too sure about that, my dear… I know someone who does care.” A shrouded and smooth voice called to her, making her perk up in shock. It sounded so familiar…

“W-What? I mean-,” she cleared her throat, trying to speak out of her panicked tone and back to her neutral one. “…Who are you?”

The smoke dissipated along with the sparks, and from the darkness floated out her square blue spectator.

“The name’s Irep. ” he purred out, slicking back his dark pompadour and grinning a sharp-toothed smile at her. Pamby covered her mouth in surprise, now that she could see an anti-fairy had been the one eavesdropping. Hm, he was afraid of that. If this was going to go well, he needed to be as charming as he’s ever been. “Don’t be afraid, love, I’m not here to harm you… or fight you… or give you bad luck. No no, I’ve come to you for a good reason!”

Pamby’s hands slid down from her face as she tilted her head in bewilderment. Before she could interrogate, Irep had gently grabbed one of her hands and placed a soft kiss on top of it like a gentleman. Pamby’s cheeks burned red. His skin is so cold…

“Wh… what reason could an anti-fairy have to even approach me? I’m of no value to you, or anybody, I wouldn’t be of any use to whatever scheme you have planned.” She was trying so hard to stay professional, but the shakiness in her voice was undeniable. A small nervous whimper came from her as Irep continued to hold her hand, making him smirk. Cute.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but there’s no schemes being planned here, I can promise you. I was just passing by and couldn’t help but overhear your terrible situation. I have history with that lousy employer of yours, you know, so I’m perfectly aware of what you’re going through.” The mention of her boss made Pamby’s eyes widen in panic, but Irep shushed her before she could react, tenderly stroking her hand. “My only goal is to help you.”

“…Help me? Help me by doing what, exactly?” She eyed him curiously now, making the blue fae grin wider. He knew he’d pique her interest eventually. He squeezed her hand in both of his, putting on as soft and compassionate a voice he can.

“You hate living like this, don’t you? The demeaning and ungrateful coworkers, the unfair expectations and constant pile of tasks on your plate, your boss treating you more as a servant than an equal… you despise it here, don’t you?” His words were what finally made the fear leave the pixie’s face, her expression now downcast as she stared sadly at the ground.

“I don’t… well… it’s not just that.” she sighed, causing Irep to tilt his head now. Pamby stared off into the distance. “I… I hate this world . Since the first day I existed, anything and everything I ever enjoyed was… wrong. My emotions were treated as a liability, a flaw holding everyone else back. I couldn’t even physically conform in the way everyone expected.”

She gestured to herself, her tired eyes now becoming moist again. Irep instinctively squeezed her hand as he noticed this.

“My coworkers resent me for being different. My mentors resent me for being different. I know my boss loathes even looking at me because I can’t perform perfectly to his every demand. Since I got here, I’ve been seen as nothing but a… failure. A blemish on Pixie World.” she sniffled, once again furiously wiping her eyes as they became red and puffy. Hearing the last part, a flash of empathy could be felt inside Irep’s tiny cold heart, just momentarily. He clutched his shirt. Hopefully that’s just heartburn… Swallowing, he brought the pixie closer and rubbed her back to comfort her.

“Oh, you poor thing… you don’t deserve to be made to feel like a failure. Not by someone who’s been bested several times by children in the past, anyway…” he scoffed, rolling his eyes slightly. The anti-fairy hugged her to his side with one arm, giving her a warm smile. “What you need is to find the inner strength to embrace your individuality, no matter what anyone says. Luckily, following your own rules despite the protest of others is my specialty! With my help, I could help you break out of this corporate prison you call a home and be whoever you want to be!”

The kind words and affection were such new sensations to Pamby… at least outside of her one friend. But even then, she was never held like this before while being told her feelings mattered. The pixie’s cheeks reddened once again, her eyes locked on her new potential friend’s hand gripping her shoulder. Despite this new warm feeling, she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Wh-What exactly do you get out of helping me, though? I know anti-fairies don’t just do things out of the kindness of their hearts, and I’m not willing to get scammed.” She narrowed her eyes in doubt, making Irep tense up. Urgh… he was going to have to get out the big guns, then. Suddenly, the anti-fairy slid his hand to hold her thigh, and dipped her back in a romantic pose. Pamby nearly yelped in surprise, clamoring to wrap her arms around Irep’s neck to keep from falling. Her face was as red as a tomato, Irep smirking at the sight. Jackpot.

“Although my intentions aren’t sinister, I can’t help but confess my interest stemmed from how much you… enchanted me at first sight. I was determined to get to know you on a more personal level, my dear.” he growled out sensually, winking down at her with a toothy grin. “In this lifeless and colorless hellscape, you are like a beautiful ray of light shining through the murky fog. I couldn’t bear to live with myself if I let this place snuff that light out…”

Needless to say, his poetic praise worked better than expected. Pamby was speechless, laying in the air under him with large sparkly eyes and a face so red even her ears were tinted pink. She stared into his dark purple eyes for just a moment before bashfully grabbing the edge of her suit and covering half her face, her eyes shut tight from the embarrassment. The adorable display of shyness made that fog in Irep’s once again cloud over, and for a second he forgot what he was doing as he watched the pixie under him with an amused grin. But luckily, not for long. The anti-fairy blinked to clear his mind, his cheeks a dark blue, before he awkwardly cleared his throat.

“S-So, um… Will you let me assist you in freeing yourself from your chains?” he stumbled, slowly pulling Pamby back upright. The poor girl was still heated up, barely registering what he had said as she stuttered out.

“I-I… Well…” The two jumped in surprise, however, when a one-note ringtone started to blare from Pamby’s coat pocket. She scrambled to yank her phone out and look over the message that was just sent. Her eyes dropping back to their usual downtrodden expression, she sighed. “I need to go. My boss is looking for me.”

Irep’s expression fell. Damn it. Was I too forward? His hand reached out slightly as his companion began to float back toward the restaurant, his ears drooping in disappointment. Once again, he failed another mission…

Pamby stopped halfway. Frozen in place, her back still turned to Irep, who watched in confusion. After a long contemplative silence, she suddenly rushed back over to him and pulled a piece of paper from her coat pocket. Was that a business card? Summoning a pen, she scribbled something down onto it before shoving it into Irep’s hands without a word, and then swiftly made a beeline for the restaurant door. Once she was gone, Irep gazed down at the card she just handed him, reading it carefully.

9211 Straight and Narrow Rd.

Floor 5, Apartment 303

Meet me when I get home at around 7 pm. See you soon.

The anti-fairy’s bushy eyebrows shot up. He did it… she said yes! Smiling like a madman, the goth did a silent victory cheer to himself, pumping his fist in the air. He started to fly quickly towards the address listed on the card, not wanting to waste any time. The sinister grin returned to his face as he let out a small cackle.

“Phase one of my plan was a success… now for the fun part.”

Chapter Text

“Finally. I was thinking maybe you fell in.”

“S-Sorry, sir, I just got caught up in… something.”

“Based on how red your face is and how out of breath you are, I’d rather not know what that something was.”

6:59…

Pamby’s eyes blinked back at the grey flat entrance to her home. It looked exactly the same as each door down the long outdoor balcony of the apartment building, down to the exact color and size. The only difference in any of them was each apartment number neatly centered on the metal. She wondered if Irep would get lost up here looking for her door… She had written the correct number down, right?

Her eyes panned down to her hand holding the doorknob, gripping it so tight her hand started to turn pink. Did she even want him to find her again? Accepting any alliance with an anti-fairy was a risk she usually knew better than to ever even dream of… even riskier than any pixie contract. At least they had to legally abide by their own rules. An anti-fairy lived on no rules, only anarchy. Letting him speak to her, let alone know where she lives, may as well have been the same as handing her house keys to a wanted criminal. Even then, though… The idea was so thrilling . Plus, what she stated to him before was the truth.

Her life had no value. What else did she have to lose?

Steeling her nerves and taking a deep breath, Pamby finally turned the knob and forced herself inside. The door quickly slammed behind her with the automatic locks setting in place, her anxiety making her take all precautions to avoid potential witnesses. The darkness of her home enveloped everything. Cutting costs on magic resources also extended to conserving their electrical energy as well, with all lights needing to be off before one leaves the house. This didn’t necessarily bother Pamby, though… The soft solitary light of a single lamp in the corner of the room was preferable to those blinding fluorescent bulbs.

Feeling around in that usual corner, she found her lamp and turned it on, the cold atmosphere of the dark now replaced with a cozier one. The light was enough to reach halfway across the living room, Pamby’s eyes adjusting quickly to the dim light as she made out shapes in her apartment. Nothing had been moved. No little blue footprints on the floor. It didn’t feel like anyone was present… She pulled out her phone.

7:05…

Maybe he wasn’t coming after all then… the part of her brain storing common sense should’ve been more than relieved. If so, then why did she feel so disappointed?

The pixie slowly floated onto the couch seat behind her, her head slumped onto the side of it as she stared sadly at the floor. Well, maybe this was a good time for her to practice getting more sleep. She was so exhausted mentally and physically from today she didn’t even try to shuffle herself out of her work clothes. Why bother? She was sure H.P. will be blowing her phone up at 6 a.m., anyway. She sighed, curling up onto what felt like a cushion laid against the seat. She nuzzled her face into the soft leathery material, trying her best to drift to sleep… Something wasn’t right though, and it interrupted any potential fatigue. Why was this pillow so cold? She didn’t keep her apartment this chilly, even if she did prefer it colder. She inhaled slowly.

Was that… hair gel?

Her eyes shot open, and slowly trailed up the object she was laying on. Black leather… a skull print… and a blue face shadowed in the dark, with sharp half-lidded violet eyes staring down at her above a smug grin.

“Ready to get started, my friend?”

WHAM!

Irep’s cubicle head made a deep thump as it collided with the seat of the couch, his once smug expression turned panicked as he squirmed under his pixie host, who had her hands locked around his throat. Luckily for his nearly-crushed trachea, this sudden flash of primal fight-or-flight vanished in Pamby’s mind as she yelped, letting him go immediately and sitting back.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! You startled me!” she whimpered. Her surprise guest coughed into his sleeve, breathing heavily as he struggled to sit up. She couldn’t see due to the dim light, but Irep’s now sweaty face had turned such a dark shade of blue he continued to hide it behind his arm. It didn’t help that she was still sitting on him…

“I-IT’S FINE, it’s… fine.” his voice cracked, his other hand rubbing his throat. Gods, what were they feeding these pixies that gave them such an iron grip? Not wanting to dwell on that thought too long, he waved his hand to signal her to scoot off of him, which she complied instantly. “I guess you wouldn’t be used to anyone giving that kind of surprise entrance, I should’ve considered that… No worries, though!”

The fae pushed himself into an upright position and laid his feet up on her coffee table, the leather of his boots glinting a bit in the light. He was clearly trying his best to go back to that cool and laid-back position he had started in, although his flushed face ruined the facade just slightly. Irep clicked his fanged teeth at her.

“So, as I said, were you ready to begin your journey into rebellion?” The question made his new companion tilt her head a little.

“Like… right now? Isn’t it a bit late?” she asked quietly, slumping back down on the couch next to him. Irep groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Too late ? The night hasn’t even begun!” I guess it did make sense that anti-fairies and pixies would have way different sleep schedules. The goth man teasingly pinched her cheek, making her squeak. “What did you think we were going to do when I came to your apartment? Have a sleepover?”

“W-Well, no… I just didn’t think we’d be doing anything crazy right away. To be honest, I’m still really nervous about this whole thing. You just being here is making my hair stand on end… no offense.” she mumbled, bringing her knees up to her chest. The hesitance further annoyed her guest, but he had to be smart about this. Pamby was clearly a sensitive and timid soul. Rushing her through this will probably be the easiest way to scare her off for good, and he’d be damned to do that after getting her to trust him so easily. He’d have to take baby steps, and do things on her terms. The anti-fairy scooted closer and ran a comforting hand up her back, making her shiver a little.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, dear. I was just eager to… have some fun and spend time with you!” he grinned, seeing his faux kindness was making that familiar blush burn across her face again. His clawed hands rubbed circles into her back. “Perhaps we can just try something small then, to help you get started. We’ll do it right here in the comfort of your own home, and with a little assistance from my magic… it can be anything your heart desires.”

At the mention of magic, Irep’s wand poofed into his hand, a miniature mace covered in sharp spikes. The tool was extremely intimidating to Pamby, but left her staring at it with intrigue. Its ambient dark indigo glow waved slowly in her face, almost as if it was tempting her. She pondered in thought for a minute.

“Hm… Well, I guess there is one thing I’ve always wanted to do. I was just afraid I’d get in a lot of trouble for it. It doesn’t exactly follow the office dress code…” she muttered, tugging on her sleeve nervously.

“Pfft, dress codes are for the WEAK. I choose my own style, and I’m obviously the coolest being you’ve seen in this entire realm, right?” Irep smirked, striking a flamboyant pose as he popped the collar of his jacket. Pamby blinked, before giggling.

“Well, you’re definitely not boring like everyone else here, so yeah.” She tensed as her partner in crime pulled her over with one arm, fiddling with her neatly folded tie.

“So then, what do you want to change up? Makeup? Flashier clothes? Maybe even upgrading that absolutely drab cellphone they force you to carry around?” That last one did sound fun… but Pamby had something simpler in mind, of course.

“Actually… I wanted to try dying my hair.” she confessed, playing with a strand of her bangs. Irep squinted. That was all? Maybe this plan will be easier than he thought with how easy it is to please her. He waved his wand around in the air, making it glow even brighter.

“Easy! I’ll have that whipped up for you right n-“

“WAIT!” Her tiny hand suddenly gripped his wrist, forcing his arm down from granting the wish. She flinched and looked away nervously when he gave her an annoyed look about it. “I know it sounds weird, but we pixies usually don’t take magical shortcuts like you and the fairies do. Spontaneously changing something so drastic about myself just sounds too terrifying… I think I’d be more comfortable doing it the normal way. Could you help me?”

Her gaze hesitantly met his own, and surprised him as she put on the most pathetic and sweet pleading expression she could muster. It was like seeing a small stray puppy beg at your feet for you to give it your food. The annoyed look on Irep’s face didn’t drop, but his cheeks were once again tinted a dark blue. Damn… she’s too good at that.

“Ugh… Fine. You’re lucky I have experience in hair dyeing from my experimental highschool days.” The pixie’s puppy dog eyes immediately turned into an elated smile, her hands clapping in celebration. Her cutesy act was starting to seriously sicken him. With a small shake of his wand, a collection of hair dye boxes floated above her, each holding a different color. “Choose whichever you’d like to try. Now do you want just a few streaks, or do you want to transform the WHOLE thing?”

Her pupils followed the movement of the boxes, as her tiny hand pawed at a specific one: a bubblegum shaded box labeled “Prissy Pink”. At his question, she pulled at her tie nervously.

“Oh, just streaks, please! I’m not ready to go that wild just yet…” she chuckled. She handed her chosen box to him politely. “This one, please.”

The light of Pamby’s bathroom flooded the rest of the dark hallway as she helped Irep drag one of her dining chairs in. With a snap of his fingers, towels covered the floor around the chair, and Pamby was sat in place, her tight hair bun now unfurled around her shoulders. The sound of running water could be heard behind her.

“Just sit still and let me work my, er, “magic” so to speak. I’ll need minimal distractions if I want to do this right.” Irep instructed, pulling off his jacket and laying it across the counter. Reaching from behind, he pulled her glasses and suit top off over her head, making her yelp. “Now, I’ll need to wet your hair. Close your eyes.”

Nodding obediently, the pixie shut her eyes and stood as still as she could, her hands gripping the edge of her seat in anticipation. She could’ve sworn she heard a “ding” sound, followed by silence. Strange. He should be leaning me back to the sink by n-

SPLASH!

To the outside observer, Pamby could’ve been mistaken for a large drowned rat with the amount of water Irep had just dumped on her. A large bucket floated above her head, poofing away as soon as its job was done. With a snort, Irep nudged the now dripping and shivering pixie.

“Just wanted to make sure I was thorough, my dear! You understand, right?” His soaked friend did not verbally answer, but did give a small shaky thumbs up. That pain in his chest from earlier flared up for a moment. Was that… too mean? Irep immediately scoffed at the idea to himself. Of course not, that was child’s play to an anti-fairy. She’ll be fine.

As he readied the bottle of dye, Pamby continued to stay as still as possible, her soaked hair covering her face as she stared at the floor in silence. She could’ve just been trying to stay out of the way and let him work. But… she could also still be upset. Either way, the quiet was too deafening for Irep’s liking. He cleared his throat.

“I know I said no distractions, but I don’t mind conversing as I do this. I am an excellent multi-tasker!” The pixie under him shifted awkwardly in her chair. He took that as a cue to begin grabbing strands of her hair, carefully applying the pink goop slathered in his hands. “If you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

“…Who’s anti-fairy are you, exactly?” Oh, gods. Had to start off with a banger, didn’t we? Irep’s face contorted into a pout, huffing in irritation.

“You mean it isn’t obvious ? These stuffy suits really don’t let you go out much, do they?” His words hit a but too close, Pamby’s sad eyes returning to gaze at the floor. Shit. Reel the attitude back a bit, Irep. “I’m that pompous purple pest, Peri ’ s, anti-fairy counterpart.”

“…Who’s Peri?” The question hit Irep like the bucket of cold water he had just hucked at her. What in the nine rings did she mean “Who’s Peri”? Did his celebrity status not reach Pixie World somehow, despite how hard they tried to kidnap him at birth? She had to have been messing with him.

“Ha ha, SO funny, Pam. As if you had no clue who one of the most well-known fairies in every realm is. I’m unable to fly even 500 yards without hearing his stupid name somewhere, even when we were children.” Even with his thick sarcasm, the pixie just blinked back in confusion, shrugging her shoulders. Irep’s incredulous tone slowly dropped. “…You mean you REALLY don’t know about him?”

“‘Fraid not.” she replied flatly, that same southern twang coming back up, which left a tickle on Irep’s eardrums. The pointy appendage on the side of his head twitched.

“Interesting… I’ll give you a hint, then. Purple all over, big swirly hair, suspenders? Was the first fairy baby in one thousand years to be born? Which led to ME, forcing me to play second banana to that cretin for my entire life.” A small squeak of pain sounded from Pamby suddenly, making him realize he yanked on her hair a bit while seething. He quickly loosened his grip, gently rubbing the spot he pulled on. “Your creepy boss tried babynapping him before he was even born.”

“Oh… OOOH, that guy! Oh yeah, H.P. told me about him when I was little. He’s been having some of his spies keep track of him as he got older, I think I’ve caught glimpses of him once or twice when passing the security room.” That bit of information made Irep pause in his work momentarily. Were the pixies still thinking about kidnapping him? Feh… as if he’d be of any use now. That geek couldn’t even last a whole month as a fairy godparent. “Weird… you really don’t resemble him at all. Besides the backwards name, I guess…”

“Well, of course I don’t, you goof- I mean, sweetheart. I’m his opposite! I’m everything that he isn’t. That's why I’m OH so handsome and intelligent.” he hummed. Pamby frowned, shaking her head as much as she could while he still held it in place.

“No, that’s not what I mean… You don’t really seem like some kind of extension of him. I know I don’t personally know the guy, but even then you don’t feel like some kind of mirrored version or evil twin. You just seem like, well… you.” The look on Irep’s face was completely blank. His clawed hands rested flatly on top of her scalp.

“Wait… what? What does that even mean?” His tone was less angry and more bewildered, unsure on how to take her bizarre observation. Pamby chuckled.

“Sorry, I’m not great at explaining things. I guess I mean that I don’t really see that guy when I look at you. I’ve seen my fair share of anti-fairies and their counterparts before, and they always just felt like a recolored bizarro clone of the original. You seem much more unique, though…” Her blue companion just remained quiet this time. Unique… Pamby scratched at her face awkwardly. “I’m probably just rambling, though. Again, sorry, I’m not all that articulated when I get talking. I guess it’s because no one ever lets me talk for very long at work.”

Irep’s attention snapped back to reality, his cheeks and ears tinted dark blue once again. After a moment of hesitation, he silently continued to work on her dye job. Now more focused than ever on doing as amazing a job as he could manage…

-

“Alright… Its effects will be much better looking once it’s all dry, but I think this might be my finest work yet!” The sound of Irep’s voice made his pixie friend jump in surprise. He had gone so quiet for the last several minutes, she was almost afraid she had upset him. The anti-fairy leaned over the side of the chair with a grin, finally seeing her face-to-face. “Are you ready to take a peek, love?”

She answered with her own excited smile, nodding eagerly. The blue fae floated off and returned shortly, placing her glasses gently back onto her face.

“Then I give you… the new and IMPROVED Pamby!”

The chair was spun to face the mirror, and a breathless gasp came out of the pixie. Her damp hair fell in light curls around her shoulders, the side strands and bangs adorned from the root of her head to the ends with a brilliant shade of pink. The bright and exciting color meshed so naturally with her dark browns, almost like a perfect swirl of chocolate and strawberry resting on her head. Even if it seemed simple on the surface, it was leaving Pamby absolutely speechless. She slowly floated towards the mirror, a hand pressed to the glass.

“I know, I know, my talent and skills know NO end!” Irep bragged, a satisfied and smug grin crossing his face. He checked his nails, flicking bits of pink still stuck in a few places. “Even so, this wasn’t easy to accomplish. I think you owe me a lot on this one, wouldn’t you agr-“

“I… I LOVE IT!” The elated outburst made Irep flinch, his batlike wings flapping in surprise. Pamby’s entire body wiggled, barely unable to contain the excitement, making her look like a talkative bumblebee. She bounced up and down in front of the mirror, her square wings buzzing like crazy. “I love it, I love it, I love it, I LOVE IT!”

“Ha! Ah, well, uh… I’m sure you do. Anyway, as I was saying-“ The fae was suddenly tackled, making him let out a tiny scream in shock. Pamby’s arms were locked around his torso, practically squeezing the life out of him. Oh gods, was she trying to kill him again??

No… No, he was pretty sure this was just a hug. That made much more sense. Pamby’s chubby cheek was pressed against his flat one, the adorable barrage of giggles bursting out of her now.

“Thank you for all your help, Irep! This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!” While the praise felt good, calling him “nice” certainly left a bad taste in his mouth. “You’re the BEST, Irep!”

The… The “best”?

Then it hit him. It felt similar to the sharp pain in his chest from earlier, but it came in a quick flash that didn’t leave this time, starting from his back and flowing through the rest of his body. The feeling was like electricity in his veins, heating the tip of every nerve in his system, and of every thought that tried to form at that moment. But it wasn’t painful… in fact… he had never felt so euphoric . Pamby’s beautiful voice echoed in his mind now, like a symphony of angels calling him to heaven.

The best… the best…. the BEST…

His arms fell limp around her shoulders as she held him tenderly. His wings continued to flutter, like that of a butterfly’s. His stomach churned. His face… burned. What was this feeling? He could’ve sworn he had felt this before, but never this intensely. He didn’t think it was possible for a creature like him. And yet…

While still processing what had just happened, Pamby finally pulled away to smile at him. The sudden loss of her warmth nearly made him whimper, but he held back using what little consciousness he had at the moment. His lack of response (plus the fact he looked like he had just seen a ghost) made the pixie frown, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Uh, Irep… are you doing okay, hon?” Her soothing and concerned voice finally broke him out of his spell, Irep sputtering like a busted water hose before he finally locked his eyes with hers, laughing nervously.

“YES! Ah, I m-mean, yes! I’m perfectly fine! Definitely not experiencing intense and scary new emotions I don’t understand or anything! I’M FINE .” Smooth one, Irep. The odd exclamation made Pamby raise an eyebrow.

“Uh… If you say so then.” She gazed at the clock on the wall curiously and gasped. “Oh geez, that took up so much time! I should really be getting to bed, I can’t be showing up to work exhausted a third time this week.”

Taking Irep’s hand (his ears twitched like a rabbit’s at the contact), she lead him back to the living room and looked around in thought. Irep took the small moment to brush aside the clouds in his head and act as casual as he could.

“Well, if you want to, you can crash at my place for the time being. It’s the least I can do, anyway.” With a light tap of her hand on the side of the couch, it suddenly unfolded out into a futon bed, with pillows and a blanket already neatly laid out. “It’s not much, I know, and you don’t have to use it if you don’t like it.”

“Oh, there’s no need for something so common. With a flick of the wrist, I can easily turn this into a bed fit for a king like myself!” he declared, once again pulling out his mace. The fear that flashed on Pamby’s face made him freeze, however. He sighed. “Let me guess: you’re not comfortable using magical shortcuts on your furniture either?”

He didn’t mean to sound so deadpan when he said that, but it unfortunately brought Pamby’s sheepishness back out. She looked away shyly.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m being difficult… If you want, I can make it up to you and just share my bed with you. It’s big enough for two people.” It shocked Irep just how nonchalant she stated this suggestion, which didn’t help his body from going into near mental shutdown again like it did before. Irep suddenly teleported into the futon bed, already tucking himself in.

“N-NO! No no, that’s okay!!! This looks plenty comfortable actually, perfect even! Thank you, and goodnight!” He stuttered all this in one breath, grinning a wide toothy grin to help distract from how sweaty he had already become. His new friend just watched in confusion again, but slowly nodded in compliance.

“Ah, alright then… Goodnight, Irep! Don’t be afraid to come get me if you need something, okay?” The fae in front of her simply nodded, shooting a thumbs up to her with that same crazed grin. His eyes followed her as she floated to her room, his ear perking at the sound of a bedroom door closing shut. In a flash, he jumped out of the bed and flew like a missile towards the bathroom, shutting the door tight.

Irep gripped the sides of the sink, hunched over as if he was going to vomit. Based on the insane fluttering inside his stomach, he probably would. Breathing heavily, he slowly looked up at his reflection. His hand trailed gingerly over his face, pulling down on his lower eyelid to check for strange symptoms of any kind. Anything that could explain this wretched new feeling.

“What’s happening… what’s WRONG with me?” he whispered to himself. As his eyes darted everywhere for a sign, he suddenly spotted something: a hint of pink, sticking out ever so slightly behind his torso. Did he get some of the hair dye on the back of shirt somehow? Maybe this was all just a strange allergic reaction he was having. He began to pry his blue tank top off, but couldn’t get the bottom to move out of place, no matter how hard he yanked. Something was prying it down from behind… What could it…?

Slowly, with goosebumps rising on Irep’s skin as he did, he turned to the side to finally get a better view of his backside.

Oh no.

A short, glossy, pink and white arrow stuck straight out of Irep’s lower back. Fluffy feathers decorated the top, with the pointed end that was currently lodged in his skin designed to look like a pink heart. In a panic, Irep reached back and yanked the arrow out, a pained “YIPE!” leaving his mouth as he did. Maybe if he was quick enough, the effects will just wear off!

…But Irep still felt queasy. He could still hear Pamby’s angelic voice sing in his mind. And before he could even act, the arrow in his hand evaporated into several pink hearts, which floated up and popped one by one like soap bubbles. Unfortunately, Cupid was getting the last laugh this time.

Irep just stared off into space with a terrified expression. He slumped over in defeat onto the bathroom counter, held his head in his hands, and muffled a frustrated scream.

“THIS WASN’T PART OF THE PLAN!”

Chapter Text

Ah. He had been here before.

The setting was all too familiar by this point. He had ended up here many times as he gradually got older, and it never got any better. He had always theorized it was a manifestation of all his past failures and unsatisfied revenge plots come back to haunt him at his most vulnerable. As if the devil himself was visiting to rub salt into the wound, until his spirit was finally broken.

Or maybe it was just because he wouldn’t stop eating double fudge brownies before bed like mother warned him… he didn’t know, did he look like a dream interpreter?

It always started the same, though. He was forced at the edge of a cliff, standing under the dark sky that drowned his world in a constant shade of night and shadow. Crowds of those he knows surround him and continuously intimidate him back, their eyes full of hatred and hope for his downfall. They’re laughing. Their faces were barely illuminated, but he could always make out the same array of people: his rival, his insipid parents, Jorgen, his old Spellementary School classmates he grew up with, his mother, and even some new faces… Those of the blasted children who foiled his most recent takeover.

At the center of them all floated towards him… his father.

“Failure… FAILURE… You were born a failure, and you will always be one.” his voice came out in a taunt, spitting the words like venom. “No matter how many promises of greatness you make, you have lived up to none of them. ”

As always, he opened his mouth to protest, but struggled to make the words. He wanted to fight back, summon his wand and stop the taunting permanently, but his limbs were glued in place. He couldn’t even bring himself to fly away, his wings locked to his back. He was left defenseless.

His father’s hand came down like a gavel, gripping his shoulder. The minute their eyes met, a hateful scowl across the older man’s face, the hand shoved him backwards.

Now the less painful part. He was falling into the abyss, the rush of the wind around him drowning out the nightmares from above, as he plummeted to his doom. A sad fate, but soon he’d awake like nothing had happened, just like every other night.

He closed his eyes, and braced for impact.

…Why did he suddenly feel so… warm ?

When he opened his eyes, he was nearly blinded by light. The air around him had stilled to a halt, and he could feel two arms holding him in a loving embrace. His face was enveloped in a soft bosom, with one hand softly stroking his back, making his wings finally spring back to life and flutter momentarily. The smell of her was intoxicating and overwhelmingly soothing, like a batch of fresh bread in a bakery… He tried to look up at whoever his savior was, but the light shielded her face.

All he could hear… was that same angelic voice that lulled him to sleep the night before.

“ You are safe now… you are cherished here. ” Her tone was direct, much like his father’s scolding, but now with positive affirmations instead of reminders of his failures. The tune rang inside his head like windchimes, and his mind felt like it was floating on a sea of clouds. One of her hands delicately stroked up his cheek, and despite being unable to see her, he could feel the warmth of her breath inching closer towards him. He closed his eyes, following her lead, and slowly inched his lips towards her own.

“ I love y-“

“AH!”

Irep immediately sat up, now wide awake. The first thing he took notice of was how coated in sweat he was, and how his face felt so hot it sent shivers down the rest of his body. His hands were shaking, and his wings wouldn’t stop twitching… Why would his usual monthly nightmare turn into that ?

His eyes, once he blinked the sleep from them, scanned around the room. He was still in Pamby’s apartment. His expression turned pained, as his face fell into his hands.

“What is wrong with me?…” In a last desperate prayer, he had hoped all those new and terrifying feelings that possessed him the night before would be gone after he had slept them off. If that dream was a sign of anything, it seemed this crush would be sticking around for a while. Perhaps even for good.

A smarter man would’ve probably bailed on the mission entirely knowing he had been emotionally compromised. But… Irep had no other avenues to choose from if he wanted to come home with some kind of accomplishment. He couldn’t keep having that same nightmare all the time… even if she had now mutated it into something less scary.

Oh, crabapples… wasn’t she still home?? The fae scrambled off the futon bed in a hurry, zooming around the room for any signs his new friend could’ve been nearby to hear his mini-mental crisis. Luckily, the apartment was still and silent. After a minute of looking around, he noticed a piece of paper left neatly on the kitchen table, next to a plate of muffins for his breakfast. The kind gesture nearly made his heart catch in his throat, but he swallowed it down as he picked up the note.

Left for work. I’ll be home around 5. Help yourself to anything in the fridge and be careful! Call my cell phone number if you run into trouble.

• Pamby

This “road to rebellion” was starting to feel less like a revolt and more like them slowly becoming roommates… even then, he did promise himself he’d let her take this at her own pace. Besides, having her as a roommate does seem to come with its perks. Irep grabbed a muffin off the plate and practically chomped it down in a single bite. He grimaced. This is the dryest thing I’ve ever tasted.

As he chewed, a dreadful realization suddenly came over him. Did she keep the new dye job in before she headed to work? Or did she hide it under something? She did mention something about a strict dress code at her job… Despite having encouraged a little rule breaking before, the potential consequences of it were now settling in on him. Blast this damned crush! Now I have to actually WORRY about this girl…

Well… maybe there wouldn’t be harm in popping by to check on her. It wasn’t that hard sneaking through the place the first time, and he knew where her office building was. But was he really going to risk his safe hideout just to make sure she wasn’t getting lightly bullied by her coworkers? He’s only known her for a day, is Cupid’s magic really making him this pathetic ?

He checked the clock on the wall. 11:35. It would probably be her lunch break in a little while. With a final sigh, he pulled his jacket and boots back on, and snapped his fingers. In a puff of dark smoke, he vanished.

I guess I really am this pathetic.

-

Somehow, the inside of Pixies Inc. was a lot more complex than the massive streets surrounding it. Once he had teleported inside, Irep traversed down each hallway disguised as an object, looking around as quickly as he could for Pamby’s department. Whichever one that may be… did she ever specify what exactly her job position was? All he knew was that she was forced to play coffee girl to that obnoxious egomaniac of a boss she had. She could really be anywhere…

As he zapped himself into the company break room (conveniently disguised as a dark blue folding chair), he overheard the dull and sleep-inducing laughter of a few pixies nearby. Staying tucked under the table, he listened curiously.

“I know, right? Her head looked like she had gotten it caught in the photo copier’s ink dispenser.” one dryly chuckled, taking a sip from his coffee mug.

“More like she tried taking hairstyling tips from a fairy.” The prejudiced dig drummed their laughter back up, Irep’s eyes widening in surprise. There’s no doubt who they were talking about… and despite his best attempts to stay apathetic, even hearing these light insults made the fae’s blood boil. Oh, this crush will be the death of me for sure.

“Y’know, she hasn’t left the bathroom since H.P. hilariously dunked on her this morning. Probably for the best, maybe she’s using that time to wash that gaudy shade of pink out.” Irep bit his lip to keep from growling. How dare they… he worked REALLY hard on that dye job!

“Normally I’d be against doing that on company time, but it’d be in everyone’s best interest if she just stayed in there. At least then our eyes won’t start bleeding again.” Okay, he had heard enough. Right before one of them could float over to sit on him, he teleported once again out of the room, making the pixie fall onto the floor. He scratched his head in confusion.

“What just happened?”

-

Hopefully this was the right bathroom. Being that they only had one woman in the city, the restrooms in the building were all uniform and non-gendered, making them all blend together. Irep considered it a miracle any employee here could remember where they were half the time.

A soft noise alerted him that he had chosen correctly, though. A very subtle but audible whimper could be heard from the stall farthest from the door, followed by a few sniffles. Irep’s ears twitched at the noise, his heart already aching. Slowly floating towards the door, he softly knocked and heard the sound of sudden movement.

“Psst, don’t worry, it’s just me.” he whispered, his voice slightly cracking. He awkwardly tapped his claws together. He was never the best at these types of situations. “…Are you alright?”

“I-Irep?” She sounded terrible. Clear congestion clogged her voice, and a hiccup held onto the end of his name. With another sniffle, he could see her shadow move forward towards the door. “What are you doing here? I told you I’d be home by five…”

“Yes, well, I didn’t trust your coworkers to be able to act civilized about your new look for an entire eight hours. Call it a hunch, I suppose, but I doubt you’re stuck in this stall by choice.” he grumbled. He drummed his claws against the wall in thought. “I, uh… I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”

She didn’t answer for a few seconds, the anticipation hanging around Irep’s neck like a weighted chain. But after a minute, Pamby finally turned the knob and opened the door.

Irep’s heart dropped instantly at the sight, and in that moment his mind raced with feelings of concern… and of rage. She looked even worse than she sounded. Her eyes were puffy and completely bloodshot behind her glasses, which were smudged and fogged. Tear stains painted her round cheeks and halfway down her heavily wrinkled suit. Her hat had been discarded, as she had seemingly tried to do something about her hair while she was in here, her usual bun now completely undone. The dark brown and bright pink layers were a frizzled mess, framing the most depressed expression he had seen on her so far.

His better judgment pushed down the absolutely violent urge to rush forward and embrace her. Partially because he refused to fully give into this newfound love cursed onto him. But also, because she was clearly in such a fragile mental state… the sudden affection might frighten her. Instead, he gently grabbed onto her hands and helped her to the sink. He fished for a paper towel from the dispenser and tenderly started to wipe the tears from her face, being careful to not accidentally poke her eyes with his claws. As he swept her bangs from her face, the pixie made his body go completely tense as she grabbed the hand holding the towel… and leaned her head into it. Finally, she let out a sob.

Without thinking, he tugged her into a tight hug. He just couldn’t help himself anymore.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Irep spoke softly, continuing to stroke her hair back into place. Pamby paused in her sobs to speak, her hiccups even worse now.

“I-I’ll get in even more trouble if you do…” That rage boiled back inside him once again. What kind of chokehold did that old man have on this poor girl? His arms tightened around her.

“I promise they won’t come looking for you. Everything will be fine.” No sound came from her, but he had his answer as he felt her press her face into his shoulder and lightly nod. “Right… let’s get you out of this hellhole.”

In seconds, the two teleported back home.

Irep wasted no time sitting her on the futon bed (he felt slightly embarrassed he failed to clean up before he left). Running to the kitchen, he fetched her a glass of ice water and plopped onto the bed next to her. All the while, he had regained momentary consciousness enough to try to rationalize that this was necessary to the plan.

If I show what a supportive friend I am, she’ll trust me enough to spill Pixie World secrets… Right, that’s it… Like clockwork, though, his thoughts fizzled as he felt Pamby lean her head onto his chest. Her soft hair tickled his neck, making his face heat up like the hot summer sun in July. All of this luckily went unnoticed by the pixie while she quietly sipped her drink. Irep cleared his throat.

“S-SO… hm… Do you want to talk about what happened?” His hand gingerly wrapped around her shoulders, which only encouraged the girl to lean into him further. Irep felt like his brain was going to melt out of his ears.

“Well… it started right after I arrived at work. I don’t wanna bore you with the details, but my new look… didn’t go over so well.” she sighed. She rubbed a tear from one of her eyes. “I knew my hair was going to get me a few mean comments, but I just… I thought I was strong enough to handle how bad it could get…”

Irep simply nodded, staying quiet to let the pixie vent out as much as she needed. He rubbed the space between her wings and felt them flutter.

“The comments started out tame… a pixie’s insults are so long and drawn out they usually stay on the level of a playground bully. That was, until my boss saw me. While the others laughed at me, he just… stared at me with complete disgust. He thought I ‘looked even worse than usual’, that I had taken many steps backwards from conforming to pixie standards… not that he ever thought I’d come close.” Her sniffles started to bubble over her words now, and Irep’s grip on her back tightened. “He s-said… at this rate, I’ll never deserve anyone’s respect, especially not his…”

Her face fell into her hands as her gentle sobs filled the living room. Irep wasn’t sure what to say anymore. Internally, he was still trying to keep those rabid and overprotective thoughts brought on by Cupid’s arrow locked in the back of his mind while he worked. But if he had to hear another story about her horrid employer, that wasn’t going to last long. Swallowing the lump in his throat, the fae tried his best to cheer her up.

“Pamby, please, you can’t listen to anything that blowhard says about you. You looking and sounding different isn’t some inherent mistake, or a reflection of your worth. He’s just a maniacal control freak who wants everyone to be as boring and uninteresting as he is. Anything he says is an attempt to get under your skin, possibly even out of envy.” While he was trying to sound as convincingly supportive as possible, it came out more naturally than he expected. Probably because I’m not completely lying… “If I was him, I’d be angry too that I kept getting shown up everyday by my pretty pixie underling.”

Pretty pixie? Why did I say that!? However, his compliment made his friend giggle through her sniffles, her cheeks tinted pink. Irep couldn’t help but grin. At least she was easy to flatter…

“I know it seems like I want his approval out of respect, but it really isn’t. I promise that I loathe him to my very core, but… he’s also the leader of all of Pixie Society. Living here is bad enough when your peers don’t respect you, but when the one they all follow blindly doesn’t either it’s a harder pill to swallow… ” Her hand played with her hair, a nervous habit she had failed to grow out of for years. “Do you think I should just take the dye out and try to stay out of the way?”

“What?? Absolutely not! First off, you’re not washing out my hard work just like that. Second, if that pompous pointyhead told you to your face you’d never earn his respect, then why bother even trying? It’s a losing game he’s setting you up in!” His protests made the pixie stare at the floor in sadness.

“So I should just… stop trying and accept being a loser?” she whimpered. Irep groaned in frustration. She’s lucky she’s so cute, or I’d think she was incredibly dense.

“NO. What I mean is you should stop trying so hard to conform to pixie standards and just live how you want to live. Go the complete extreme, even. Don’t just dye your hair, wear flashy and scary clothes. Play loud music in your apartment! Throw rocks at moving cars! Put hot sauce in all your coworkers’ coffee!” he grinned, letting out an evil cackle. “You don’t need to lie down and suffer through all this, you can fight back! What are they going to do, lock you up?”

“Well… yes?” she answered in a confused tone. Irep yanked her closer and summoned his wand, the dark magic inside sparking out and illuminating the sinister grin on his face.

“With ME here, they won’t. This was what I was talking about earlier, my dear. I can help you lay total chaos onto this realm, and completely destroy and rebuild it from the inside! We’ll exploit all the secrets you’ve gathered about this world, and take it all for myse- I mean, ourselves!” He placed the handle of his wand into her hands, closing them over it and holding them tightly. “Just tell me what you want, dear sweet Pamby, and I’ll make it happen.”

The pixie just stared incredulously at the mace, the dark aura around it reflecting back in her bright pink eyes. She didn’t push back, or look even hesitant this time, just… weighing her options. Going over every painful memory, every insult, every put down she had ever been put through by the hands of Head Pixie. How much the judgment followed her through all her career, her intern training courses, her homelife, running errands in public, and even down to when she was first born… She never had anything close to a normal childhood. She was treated as less than a drone the minute they saw her, and was always made to feel like it was her fault. She’d never be free of this unless she did something drastic… after a few minutes of silence, Pamby’s dead eyed expression morphed into something new. Something much more enraged… her hands held tighter around the handle, and Irep could swear its magical aura grew brighter. Pamby let out a snarl that made his ears perk up.

“I want to kill my boss. ”

That finally did it for him. That singular death threat that growled out of the back of her throat was like another arrow to Irep’s heart… and to other parts of his body he was too bashful to confront just yet. His wings had outspread with an audible FLAP the minute he heard her, and his face could not be any sweatier than it was. Despite how absolutely tantalizing the idea of assisting her with murdering her superior sounded, that was rushing way too far ahead. He wanted to take over the place, not necessarily kill their leader.

…Or did he? He’ll figure that out later. In a panic, he nearly struggled to pull his wand from her tight grip and patted her back with a nervous laugh.

“H-HA, ah, let’s not get too hasty now! I hate the man as much as you do, believe me, but let’s start with something a little more… inconspicuous.” Like a mask being placed back on, Pamby’s deadly expression was swiftly replaced with her usual sad eyes. She blushed in embarrassment and turned away from him.

“Right, I’m… I’m sorry. I got caught up in the moment, I didn’t really mean, uh…” she stuttered, but Irep interrupted her as he gently pulled her into his lap.

“It’s fine, love. A little murderous rage is nothing to be ashamed of! But before we make our plan of attack, we need to do something about these tangles.” In a flash, his wand was replaced by a purple hairbrush. “I want the great job I did with your hair to really shine, and it can’t do that while looking like this. Now, hold still.”

Pamby’s cheeks pinkened even more as she felt him gently comb through her hair. A small smile crept onto her face. In all her years, she never expected such a gentle and sweet touch to come from an anti-fairy… But Irep handled her like she was the most precious and valuable thing he ever held. Had she not already shed so many tears today, his compassion would’ve made her weep. Instead, she leaned back against him and closed her eyes, causing him to hesitate.

“Thank you, Irep… you’re a good friend.” A good friend… A good… friend. The fae wordlessly watched her cuddle into his form, thoughts failing to form inside his mind. A good friend… but was he really?

He gently squeezed her shoulder in reply, continuing to brush through her soft pink tangles.

I don’t know if I’m really your friend. But… I think I’d like to be.

Chapter Text

“I am taking my vacation this week.”

Head Pixie didn’t take his eyes off his computer. He took a long drawn out sip of his coffee as he scrolled through whatever boring report he had opened.

“Hm… couldn’t even last the week, huh? Can’t say I’m surprised.” No response. H.P. took another sip from his mug. “You know you can’t leave your post without someone to fill in-“

“That’s already been arranged. Gunderson in Accounting was very eager to take the position of your replacement lackey for me.” The tapping on her boss’s keyboard slowed to a halt.

“Interesting… Well, there’s still the matter of the paperwork needing to be filled out for this transfer of-“

WHAM!

A large stack of papers slammed down onto H.P.’s desk, causing it to shake a little. Now finally at attention, the older pixie peered over the tall pile at his subordinate.

Her face was blank and completely unreadable.

“I’ll be taking my leave then. I’ll see you next week, sir.” Before he knew it, her back was turned and heading towards the door. The flash of pink and brown from her backside made her boss squint his eyes in annoyance.

“While you’re gone, do something about that awful hair dye already, would you?” His final bit of snark made the pixie woman’s hand hesitate at the door knob. She inhaled slowly… and opened it, leaving without a word.

-

Pamby made her way carefully to the elevator, using every bit of willpower to keep her deadpan demeanor until she was in a safe place. The quiet trip down should hopefully help her calm herself… that is, if it wasn’t interrupted by a grumpy voice muttering from under her suit.

“Perhaps killing that wretched old fool isn’t such a bad idea after all…” Irep growled to himself. Considering a magical disguise could probably be seen through pretty well here, he had gone with the simple trick of shrinking himself to hide. He sat bundled up under Pamby’s suit jacket, pouting. Her bubbling rage managed to subside quickly seeing him like this, a giggle coming from the pixie.

“Well, maybe we can build up to that. We’ve got a whole week now.” She stroked a finger under Irep’s chin like one would a cat, making his ears wiggle in surprise. “It was a good call to use my PTO instead of just flat out quitting. I don’t need the boss getting suspicious, or risk getting kicked out if I do…”

The blue fae under her hand practically purred at her touch, nearly missing her compliment entirely.

“H-Hm…? OH, right! With him out of the way and all this free time, we can start our plan of action with ease! No pesky paperwork, overtime, or annoying coworkers breathing down your neck for seven glorious days.” he grinned, tapping his claws together and letting out an evil snicker. “Instead it’ll be you learning to embrace your inner party animal! Then we’ll be ready to usurp that egomaniac once and for all!”

“Mmhm. Just you and me, alone together for a whole week…” Pamby subconsciously moved her hand to pet Irep’s dark blue hair, innocently humming as she waited for her stop on the last floor. All this at once made his brain suddenly buffer, his face darkening up to his pointed ears. Alone together… spending time… bonding… getting closer-  

“So, what’ll be first on the agenda? We have the rest of the day to get started on my ‘corruption arc’ as you’ve been calling it.” Pamby giggled, exiting out of the elevator and out the back entrance of the building. Her voice shook Irep from his daze, his eyes darting around for potential witnesses before he zapped himself next to her, now back to normal size.

“Well…! Hm… we should start getting you a taste for mischief. So what if we pranked a few unsuspecting saps downtown? Maybe even find a few of your most annoying coworkers to give absolute hell?” he suggested with a sinister smirk, nudging her arm. At the word “prank”, Pamby felt a familiar warmth of excitement in her stomach, causing her to snort cutely.

“That would be nice… I do know where Rondleman and Jankroe take their lunch breaks. They always snitched on me for every little thing, even when we were still in training courses together.” she grumbled. Irep couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. What kind of goofy naming system did Pixie World run on? The laugh became a small choking noise when Pamby suddenly began pulling her work jacket off. “But first, I’m taking this stupid suit top off. I can’t stand wearing this thing, I can barely breathe in it!”

Before Irep could say a word, the pixie’s jacket was flung his way, landing right on his face. He really did feel like the universe was torturing him bit by bit with this girl… Slowly pulling her jacket down from his eyes, he was just in time to see her shake her hair down from its usual bun and loosen her black tie. The fae’s face burned once again. Why did Cupid have to make me so attracted to girls like this!?

“Alright, much better! C’mon, then. We wanna get to the bakery before the lunch rush comes in.” Pamby smiled, holding her hand out to her now slightly trembling friend. Irep grinned back as casually as he could (which of course looked like he was trying to hold in a sneeze) and nervously grabbed her hand, floating with her down the sidewalk. That comforting heat from her made his already overworked heart go into overdrive.

Hopefully my blood pressure kills me before this crush gets any worse…

-

The bakery was fortunately still fairly empty, save for two identical pixie men in the far corner of the building. As the two conversed over some plain bagels, they failed to notice the two pairs of eyes leering at them from the window. Pamby and Irep had managed to find a convenient spot in the bakery’s outdoor seating, the perfect place to keep watch on the first targets as they thought up some ideas. Pamby pouted as her eyes glanced up the building every so often.

“…I hate this place.” The shrunken down anti-fairy sitting in her lap raised an eyebrow at her comment.

“You hate everything here. What sticks out about this place in particular?” he whispered, leaning his tiny head back on her soft stomach.

“I have to rush over here almost every single day to do a bagel run for everyone in my department, and it’s an absolute chore every single time because of how far it is from headquarters. There’s a reason I had us take the subway here.” The two pixies inside laughed among themselves in their usual deadpan manner, Pamby glaring at the sight. She rested her head in her arms. “No one ever even thanks me for it… as usual.”

Her little friend frowned in concern, patting a comforting hand on her thigh. His brow furrowed.

“…Is that why you smell like bread all the time?” he wondered out loud. The pixie’s eyes shifted towards her lap.

“You’ve smelled me?” she asked calmly. Irep’s pupils dilated in panic, his only answer being a loud series of coughs.

“U-UH, HM, SO… what kind of revenge do you have in mind??” he stuttered out, posing as casually as he could. “Giving them the plague? Poisoning their bagels? I’m privy to using poisonous spiders in my acts of torment, personally. But it’s your enemies, you choose the punishment!”

Pamby squinted, returning her focus back to the two annoyances still floating inside the shop. After a moment of thought, she nudged her hand into Irep.

“Could I borrow your wand for this? I can’t really use my pixie phone, they track the magic we use on them…” Her tiny companion nodded, poofing his mace into her hand. “Thank you, sweetie.”

Sweetie~… The pet name already had Irep’s brain steaming up harder than a sauna, an uncharacteristic giggle leaving his lips. He swiftly silenced it with a hand clamped down over his mouth. What am I BECOMING?

With a mischievous smirk, Pamby flicked the wand towards the two men inside, the mace sparking to life and poofing its power over the two bagels they held, right before they took their next bite. Within seconds of tasting it, both pixies started to spit and cough violently into their hands, earning a slightly menacing laugh from their tormentor. Irep became giddy at her reaction.

“Ooh, nice one! What’d you do, fill their bagels with broken glass?” he snickered, but Pamby shook her head.

“Worse. I changed them to everything bagels!” she smiled excitedly. The tiny devil in her lap seemed less than enthused.

“Is that it ?” he shrugged.

“I know it seems small, but a pixie’s taste buds can’t handle that many new flavors all at once. To us, it feels like the equivalent of someone electrocuting our tongue with a car battery.” The description made the fae wince slightly, but he continued to watch unimpressed. Sure, the coughing and gagging was fairly amusing, but he still expected a bigger bang. Especially with his magic. Pamby could sense his boredom and frowned in worry, frantically tapping the wand. “…B-But that’s not all! Just watch.”

The bits of bagel still sitting in the mouths of the two suffering suits poofed once again, and the two froze in fear. Irep nearly believed the two went into sudden rigor mortis, until…

FWOOSH!

Streams of bright hot fire shot out of the two’s mouths, their monotonous screams of pain now audible through the glass. The sight made the anti-fairy jump back and bump into Pamby’s torso, the pixie smiling hopefully down at him.

“Ta-da! I added some super spicy hot sauce into the mix too!” she chimed eagerly. Irep turned his head up in shock, and noticed her expression. She was so eager for his approval, she had put the puppy eyes back on… With a cackle, Irep hopped to his feet and patted her on the arm.

“Now THAT’S some classic evil hijinks! Well played, my friend!” he congratulated, holding up his tiny hand for a high five, which Pamby delivered with an elated giggle. She did it! The first prank was a success! Maybe this timid little nerd had the nerve in her after all… A deep wave of pride filled Irep as he watched her giggle harder with delight when her coworkers burst out of the building and screamed their way down the road.

This felt right, somehow. So fun, so cozy, and oddly… familiar. … Have I done this somewhere before? Suddenly, Irep was scooped up into soft hands as Pamby stood from her chair. The smell of fresh bread once again filled his lungs as she held him close in her arms.

“Where should we go next?? I’ve got the hangout spots of even more of my stupid coworkers memorized. Mainly so I could avoid them all…” Her little pal pushed his smushed face off of her chest for a moment to breathe, shaking his mind back into focus again. She wanted to keep going? That first taste of evil really hit the spot for her, huh. The grin on Irep’s face grew, now motivated more than ever to keep this new addiction alive.

“How about we go in order and… see where the day takes us, shall we?”

-

The balcony of Pamby’s apartment had a decent view of her drab and muted city for a long distance, the city lights in the evening at the very least creating a relaxing atmosphere for those witnessing it. The feeling of the crisp air adorning the sunset and the dim array of streetlights peppering the road certainly did feel relaxing…

At least, until the massive water balloon from above exploded onto your head.

“Ooh, bullseye! You even managed to flatten him onto the concrete! He looks like a little rectangular pancake.” Pamby laughed giddily, swinging her legs over the side of the balcony railing. A sparkle of indigo summoned yet another large sloshing balloon into the air, the projectile plummeting at top speed at another pixie who had stopped to check on the unconscious one, now joining him on the pavement. The sight sent the fem-pixie into a giggle fit, the sound feeling like a chorus of angels on Irep’s continuously wiggling ears. He just couldn’t get enough of that noise, no matter how much he tried to help it.

“Thank you, my dear. I’ve always been known to have an immaculate aim. You should’ve seen what I used to do to the other kids during dodgeball in middle school.” he grinned evilly, cackling at the memory of the screaming children he would terrorize with flaming dodgeballs.

Even then, this was such a nice closure to their first day of teamwork together. Although the killer water balloons paled in comparison to the pack of wild dogs they had snuck into the DMV earlier, or the exploding golf balls they created at the golf course, it was just as fun. Even more fun with how they could make each other laugh with each pixie they struck down below. Pamby scooted closer to the blue fae, her arm brushing across his chest to point at a pixie currently trying to call an ambulance.

“Ooh, that one! Get that one! He’s still standing there even after we pelted him with water torpedoes twenty minutes ago, the dumbass.” she chuckled, her sudden cursing and closeness rushing heat to Irep’s body yet again. Breathing in to stay conscious, he obediently summoned an even bigger balloon this time, and hurled it at top speed right at the pixie’s angular face. The suit did a flip in the air before landing several feet away on the other side of the road, the display bursting another fit of laughter out of Pamby.

Gods, if only I could make her sound like this all the time… With each bubbly noise she made, the crush poisoning Irep’s better judgment was beginning to create an iron grip on his mind. He could only stare lovingly at her now, his eyes half-lidded and a goofy smile creeping up his face. One could even swear his violet eyes had started forming hearts, his body going nearly limp as he leaned into her. Memories of why he came there in the first place were beginning to fade, replaced with plans for a future. One where he and his beloved little pixie could continue making the lives of others around them miserable, while they only grew more attached to the hip… It’d be such a paradise… What use would he have for Pixie World after that, if all he wanted at that moment was her?

Wait. What am I thinking? No… NO. I can’t abandon the mission now! Focus, Irep, FOCUS. This isn’t about your love life, this is about preserving your reputation! Remember the plan! Remember the-

“Hey, Irep?”

The anti-fairy suddenly remembered where he was, his eyes the size of saucers as he blinked down at his smaller companion. Her head lay nestled onto his shoulder, that tickle of her hair present again on his neck. Her expression was full of curiosity. Oh no. She didn’t notice anything, did she?

“Y-Yes? Something the matter, my dear?” he gulped, barely able to keep eye contact. Pamby’s soft hand trailed gently over his as she tried to put her words together.

“Does something about this feel… familiar?” She had felt it too? He could feel her gently grip his wrist. “I mean… I keep thinking to myself that I’ve never been this happy before, or have ever had this much fun. But, it doesn’t feel true. I swear I’ve felt like this before, years ago. I just… can’t remember why.”

Her joy from earlier had now died down into her usual anxiety, a look of concern crossing her face as her grip grew tighter. Irep instinctively put an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder.

“I possibly understand what you mean. I think… I think I felt it too.” The confession made her eyes widen, but the fae quickly tried to laugh it off. “Don’t worry, though, I’m sure it’s nothing serious! I probably just had a friend similar to you back when I was too little to remember. I’m sure it's the same for you.”

“But… I didn’t have any friends when I was little.” Her sad tone smacked Irep in the heart like a mallet. Way to make her feel worse, doofus. Pamby’s face scrunched in thought. “At least… I don’t think I did. I really can’t remember.”

“Hm… Well, like I said, it’s nothing to worry about for now.” Seeing the still confused pixie curl into herself, he squeezed her shoulders and smiled. “Hey, how about we get our minds off of it by staying up to watch scary movies? Whoever screams first has to sleep on the futon bed this time!”

The offer finally broke Pamby from her thoughts, and a snort soon came out of her.

“Y’know, if you hate that futon bed so much, you can just ask to share mine or trade with me. I really don’t mind.” Her companion snickered and spidered his claws into her side, making her giggle.

“Sure, but where’s the fun in that? Let’s make it a competition instead! What, afraid you’ll lose ?” he teased, continuing to tickle her into another laughing fit. The pixie chortled before pushing his hands down, a determined look on her face now.

“Alright, you’re on then!”

Chapter Text

Sunlight peeked in through the living room blinds, landing directly onto the face of a particular slumbering anti-fairy. His face scrunched in annoyance. This was way too early to be getting up…

Plus, the light had just rudely pulled him out of a lovely dream. Another one about that angel from above that saved him in his last one… who he was certain now was her .

Unfortunately, it was no surprise he’d be dreaming about her after the fun day AND night they had together. They had stayed up so late, binging scary movie after scary movie he conjured up to play on her DVD player. He had not only gotten a good read on what her fears are (particularly insects and ghouls), but also on how fascinated she was by being frightened. At least, in an entertainment sense. He’d never admit it to anyone outside this room, but while some scenes of violent murders left him noticeably shaking and hiding behind his own wings, Pamby was left completely entranced. Like it was a form of high art to her. He wasn’t sure whether to find that scary or… kind of attractive. Either way, it was all information he could probably use later.

Even with his work on his mind, he couldn’t help but admit the night was a blast… despite the fact he had lost their little wager. The creak of the futon under him played out as he shifted slightly, trying to acquire a comfortable new position to sleep in this peaceful morning. Although it was continuing to leave an ache in his back, he was too tired to get up just yet… and honestly too relaxed to want to. His arms squeezed around the bundle of warmth pressed to his chest as he breathed in slowly, attempting to ease his mind back into dreamland.

… Do I smell bread?

Oh, gods. He had completely forgotten.

Irep’s tired eyes shot back open and quickly shifted down, his gaze landing right on a key detail that managed to slip his mind. While Irep had lost the bet and had to continue to sleep on this uncomfortable couch, Pamby was still wide awake when he had decided to turn in for the night. She insisted on continuing to watch movies while he slept next to her, now with the volume turned down low enough to not disturb him. Considering he falls asleep with the television on constantly, it didn’t bother him one bit.

If only he had weighed the possibility of her falling asleep in front of the television as well…

Had the sight in front of him not looked so serene, he might have screamed in surprise. His sweet little pixie was completely curled up under his arms, her soft face pressed into his chest. She was so close he could feel the gentle rise and fall of her breathing, her plump arms tightening around his waist when she felt him shift beside her. The action coaxed out a nervous squeak from the fae, but he stayed frozen as his mind raced for his next course of action. Should he get up? No, she was holding him too tight. Should he push her off? Eh, she might get the wrong impression and feel embarrassed. Should he wake her?

Irep’s gaze began to relax as he stared at the slumbering expression on her face. He softly traced a claw up her cheek to push a strand of hair from her eyes. He noticed now without her glasses just how exhausted she truly looked… her eyes were a bit dark, with bags formed underneath. Poor thing… she should be able to sleep in for one morning, at least. Just calm down and let her have this. Breathing in slowly, Irep rested his face within Pamby’s thick brown hair, closing his eyes once again. At least now he had an excuse to enjoy this…

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

Well, that moment of bliss lasted about five seconds. Irep’s whole body went stiff in shock with his ears standing up in alert. Did she normally have visitors at this hour?? Pamby didn’t mention having any friends… The knocking continued, causing the pixie in his arms to finally stir and mutter a “Hm?” through one big yawn. Her friend had yet to notice just how protectively he was holding her, his wide eyes focused on the door.

“Miss Pamby, are you home? We just have a few questions to ask about the recent incidents that have been occurring. We assume you know which ones.”

Oh, BEANS.

Both were wide awake now, and looked three seconds away from panicking. Untangling themselves from each other and flying off the bed, they searched the ground and table for their clothes, while Irep held his sweaty cubic head in his hands.

“What are we going to do!? I didn’t think they’d suspect you this quick! Where should I hide? Where should WE hide!?” he whispered to Pamby as she shoved her glasses back on. The pixie’s expression remained empty as she inhaled slowly, focusing on an escape plan. A sudden memory hit her at that moment, her head turning to look at a piece of paper hanging from her fridge by a teddy bear magnet. Yanking the paper off the door, she shoved it into Irep’s hands.

“Send us here. We’ll hide out until the heat dies down.” The paper she gave him was a different array of colors, color coded to match the different magical realms it was inviting to attend… a magical career fair? Must’ve been something advertised to Pamby in the mail. Hopefully, to encourage her to switch jobs. Irep poofed up his wand on command but froze in thought.

“I don’t know if the heat will die down if you just disappear without an explanation…” As if she anticipated this, Pamby suddenly grabbed a piece off a nearby notepad and wrote a quick message down, slapping it onto the fridge. Before Irep had a chance to read it, more knocking came from the door, startling both. Having no other choice, he yanked his companion to his side and sparked up his wand. “Off we go, then!”

Silence filled the entire apartment now. The monochrome space was left deadly still, until the sounds of the front door opening interrupted its peace.

“Thank goodness H.P. let us borrow his skeleton key. Do you see any signs of her?” droned one of the pixie duo as they floated into the living room. The place was more of a mess than they expected, with a few bottles of club soda littering the floor, some unsalted popcorn left in a bowl on the dining room table, and the television left on static. But no trace of the homeowner.

“Seems she left in a hurry this morning. Didn’t even make time to clean up this disaster of a sitting area. Hm…” the other pixie drawled, neatly placing the empty bottles on the table. “It’s too bad. She could’ve gotten a heads up about the maniac sneaking around town and pranking people.”

Snickering, the other simply shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh well, then. Guess she’ll just have to get pelted by water balloons next.” The pair snorted and laughed that familiar flat chuckle. Wind from the open door fluttered inside, making the unmistakable crinkling of paper fill the room. One of the pixies finally noticed the note on the fridge, and slowly pulled it off before reading it over.

Gone fishin’.

• Pamby

“Huh… I didn’t know she liked to fish.”

-

The Magical Career Fair was massive, larger than the two new guests were even expecting. Lines of fairies, cherubs, witches, wizards, leprechauns, and even elves were scattered everywhere and attending different booths and seminars. The countless variety of available jobs made it conveniently crowded enough for the two to hide as best as they could, with the most populated section being the ones for aspiring fairy godparents. Teleporting right behind an empty booth, Irep and Pamby laid low to the ground while they came up with a game plan.

“Hm… the crowd might be enough to keep us hidden, but blending in might be the hard part.” Irep thought out loud, still protectively holding his pixie partner to his side. While several different magical creatures had attended, he hadn’t spotted one pixie or anti-fairy for miles. Anti-fairies not being allowed in made perfect sense of course, but the pixies’ absence was a bit odd… perhaps they weren’t scheduled to visit today? Pamby’s presence might cause a bit of a stir, then. Glancing over to her, Irep’s sharp eyes scanned her up and down, making the tiny pixie blush from the attention.

“Is, um… is something wrong?” she mumbled out nervously. Her friend’s eyes were now glued to the square wings buzzing softly on her backside. Without warning, Irep suddenly yanked off his leather jacket and pulled it onto the other fae, perfectly covering them up.

“Not anymore. With this on, you should blend in perfectly with the other fairies.” he grinned, patting her on the back. Pamby’s eyes shifted back from the jacket and back to her friend, trailing down his lanky but built frame. I never noticed how hairy he is…

“What about you, though? Are you just going to stay transformed all day? Or am I navigating the place on my own?” she whimpered, scratching the back of her head. The sound pushed Irep to grasp her hand, squeezing it tight.

“Don’t worry, my dear, I’ll be by your side the whole visit. I won’t let you get lost out here as long as I’m-“ His voice suddenly faltered and became lost in his sudden shock, his eyes locked on a familiar figure from across the crowd. Swoopy pink hair, small feathery wings, and a crisp clean diaper… the BASTARD that threw a wrench into his plans just had to be here too. Irep suddenly dropped Pamby’s hand. “I’m sorry, love, I’ll be back in just a second.”

Just like that, Irep had vanished in a puff of dark smoke, leaving the pixie frozen in place and utterly confused.

“I-Irep…?”

-

“…and with my top of the line training course, you can help me continue to spread love all over the world!” Cupid had just finished repeating his business pitch for what felt like the twentieth time that day. It was a pain in his perfectly groomed feathers, but he needed to make sure he could interest as many new recruits as possible. He had been lucky enough to hire one of the older cherubs to govern romance on Earth for him, but this job was still stretching him thin here… Fortunately, the fairies crowded around the booth clapped for him, and were already lining up to grab application forms.

“Thank you all SO kindly for your time today! I’ll be taking a teensy break, but this gorgeous face will be back to review your applications shortly!” he sang flamboyantly, snapping his fingers and vanishing to a tent near the booth. His posture immediately slumped forward as he groaned in exhaustion. “Jeez, you are not as young and spry as you used to be, Cupid… I guess that’s the price of putting parenthood on your already full plate for twenty years!”

Pulling out a thermos full of chocolate milk, the angel man leaned back against the tent curtain and gulped down half the bottle in seconds. These few minutes of peace and a good sugar rush should help him get through the rest of his session, at least he hoped. But as he put the cap back onto the bottle, a blue clawed hand reached out from the darkness inside the tent… and yanked the man inside.

Inside the barely lit room, the cherub thrashed and fluttered his wings against his kidnapper. He tried to scream out but was quickly silenced by their other hand. He could hear the sound of the tent door’s zipper being pulled up, and a spark of magic enveloping the entire room in a veil of indigo. Now, the assailant finally let go of the older man now, Cupid wiping his mouth and shedding feathers all over the ground.

“Whoever you are, if I owe you money or a favor you should’ve just called my agent like a CIVILIZED person would! There’s no need for the whole scary abduction act!” he huffed. The figure in front of him just growled in response.

“You owe me a little something more than that, Cupid… ” he snarled. With a flick of his wand, his face was suddenly lit up by its blue light, revealing Irep’s hateful glare. The minute Cupid recognized him, however, all fears died away immediately as he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, it’s just you . Does your big important daddy know you’re here, mister? Haven’t you been banned from enough places already? I don’t think he’d be very happy if you added another to the list.” he sassed, checking under his fingernails. The snide attitude made Irep’s anger flare up even hotter, the fae grabbing the other man by his bowtie and pulling him to eye-level.

“I don’t need my father’s permission to do anything, you glorified pigeon! Now stop playing dumb, you know EXACTLY why I’m here!” Despite growling at him like an angry dog, his display of intimidation hardly budged the cherub clutched in his claws. Cupid simply pursed his lips and looked around the room, shrugging.

“…I have NO idea what you’re talking about. Can I go now? I’m a very busy guy.” The blue imp only shook him violently in response, his fanged teeth barred and clamped tightly in anger.

“You expect me to believe it wasn’t YOU who set me up for failure? Who’s been making me second guess my brilliant plan? The one who made me fall for that rosy-cheeked, doe-eyed, little fluffball back in PIXIE WORLD!?” His voice rose to a shout, finally making use of the sound-proof barrier he had put around them. His grip had tightened so hard on his bowtie it could’ve ripped apart at any moment. “You did this on PURPOSE, didn’t you!? To humiliate me!”

“…Maaaaybe.” Cupid tapped his fingers together tentatively, before letting out a chuckle. “To be fair, that was just a bonus to why I shot you. You’ve been on my love list for a while now, ya butch cube, I just had to wait for when you two could meet officially this time!”

Irep’s anger faltered at the odd confession, but only slightly. He squinted down at the frilly pink angel.

“What do you mean ‘this time’?” he questioned. Cupid giggled and covered his mouth like a gossiping schoolgirl.

“Oh, you really don’t remember, do you? Well, don’t expect any spoilers from me. You have to figure that out on your own!” That did not help make this any less cryptic. That didn’t matter at the moment though, as Irep quickly shook the confusion off and pushed the cherub off of him.

“I don’t need to figure anything out! What I NEED is for you to remove this accursed crush from my brain!! I know you can, where are those anti-love arrows you carry around!? Shoot me with them NOW!” he loudly demanded. But once again, the angel was less than impressed.

“Geez, you’re just as bratty as you were when you were a toddler… Look, in this particular situation I can’t reverse this, because I didn’t start these feelings if you can believe it. All my arrow did was speed up the process to form that inevitable crush.” At the word “inevitable”, panic flashed across Irep’s face, which only fueled his frustration even more. Cupid stood up and brushed the grass stains off his pink suit. “You two are so compatible that the romantic feelings would’ve developed one way or another. I just felt like you needed a push down the hole is all.”

“B-But… there has to be SOMETHING! This crush will surely be the death of me- or my reputation -if you don’t do something about it!” he pleaded, pulling on his long ears anxiously. Cupid couldn’t believe how pathetic he was being over this. Had he not learned yet which would be the less hollow victory to achieve? Despite his better judgement, the cherub sighed and dragged a hand down his face dramatically.

“Well, if you’re going to act that embarrassing over it, I could try to transfer the magic to another party. Maybe someone who will actually be appreciative of their feelings for her.” he sneered while giving the begging fae an annoyed look. Despite the offer of a way out, Irep’s face fell at the idea.

“You mean… someone else would be pursuing her instead?” He had just wanted to shed all these mushy feelings, not create competition for himself… He may not want to be in love, but why should someone else be able to gloat about their happiness to his face?

“Bingo, kid. Don’t worry, though, I already have a couple of nice young men in mind to send her off to. I have been trying to find a good enough partner for my own son…” he pondered while fixing his bowtie. Irep raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t know you had a son.” While he was sure Cupid wasn’t lying about him being “nice”, the idea immediately left a bad taste in his mouth. “Honestly, I would prefer it if it was someone I already knew. At least then I’d know if they’re good enough for her.”

Despite his hatred for his own emotions, Irep didn’t want to just push any random person onto Pamby. She deserved better than that, much better. Maybe… even someone better than him. As if a monkey’s paw curled a finger, Cupid spoke up from his spot in front of the tent entrance, which he had managed to slightly unzip.

“How about your rival, then? Seems like the two have already hit it off great!” … What? WHAT ?! Irep zipped right next to Cupid, practically pushing him out of the way to see. Through the light of the barrier, the sight was even more horrible than he expected. Pamby had managed to find company in someone during his absence… and it was in the form of that insufferable goody two-shoes, PERI . The two were deep in conversation already, and watching Pamby blushing as the two laughed over something that purple nuisance said immediately tore a feral snarl out of Peri’s arch nemesis. “Honestly, I can’t think of a better match over the guy you mirror off of. Now she can get all the parts she likes about you without any of the headache! Sound like a good idea, Ir-“

The cherub was suddenly shoved out of the way and onto the ground, as Irep burst through the magic barrier like a glass window and made a beeline for his two targets. Smirking, Cupid just shook his head and snickered.

“I knew that’d get him.”

-

Shortly after Irep left, Pamby felt too unsafe staying hidden in one spot for long. It’d probably grab less attention if she explored the place rather than hide from the entire event. But without a partner to travel with, she just felt more and more lost trying to navigate the many colorful booths that seemed to blend together into a rainbow mush. She had tried her best not to look anyone in the eyes either. Last thing she needed was to get stuck in a conversation with a stranger…

But as if to test her, this strategy led to her bumping right into someone and knocking them over. Falling onto her back, she scrambled to a sitting position and covered her face with her sleeves in embarrassment.

“I’m s-so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going!” she apologized, whimpering as she heard a groan of pain from her accidental victim. She peeked through her sleeves and saw the silhouette of a well dressed young man sit up in front of her. He’s very… purple?

“Hey, no worries! It’s not the first time someone’s run me over by accident. Even my own dad’s done it once before!” he laughed, which perplexed Pamby on whether that was just a joke or not. The stranger soon got back into a floating position and held his hand out, which she hesitantly took, letting him help her stand back up. The fairy flashed a charming smile at her. “Say, you look a little familiar… have we met before?”

Pamby tilted her head in thought.

“No, I don’t believe so… I don’t, uh, go out much.” The pieces of his appearance started to form a puzzle in her head. Purple swirly hair… suspenders… maybe she had met him before? The stranger smoothed his hair back into place as she looked him over.

“Well, you’re out now, and you’re already making connections! Even if it’s not in a way that would land you any job opportunities…” he snickered. Clearing his throat, he held out his hand. “Let’s start this professionally this time, then. The name’s Peri! Nice to meet ya, miss…?”

Pamby tried her best to stay as stone faced as possible, as at the sound of that name her mind flew into shock. How did I not recognize him after being around Irep so long? Keeping one sleeve still over her face, she shakingly grasped his hand and shook it.

“Pamby. It’s nice to meet you too… Peri.” she gulped. Her hand quickly retracted and clutched Irep’s jacket further around her. Well, Irep ran off somewhere else, so maybe she can shake him off after one short conversation… Pamby cleared her throat and tried her best to calm the trembling in her voice. “Uh… so are you here looking for job openings?”

Peri grimaced slightly and scratched the back of his head.

“Hm, sorta… it’s a long story, but my fairy godparenting job is on pause until I can get assigned to a new kid. In the meantime, I’m just browsing for any alternative options while I have the chance… y’know, just in case.” Well, Irep did mention something about him not keeping his godparent position for long. If he’s such a big shot, how did that manage to go downhill so quickly? Laughing off the awkwardness, Peri nudged her shoulder, making her flinch. “So what about you? You lookin’ into fairy godparenting too?”

“UH…! N-No, I already have an office job… I was just browsing for other options too, I guess.” she shrugged. That wasn’t totally a lie, at least. The fairy in front of her proceeded to look her up and down, with a hand under his chin in thought.

“If you’re looking to make a good first impression on potential employers, you miiight wanna rethink that outfit then. Not to sound judgemental, but kids will probably get intimidated by that scary biker jacket you’ve got on.” The comment made Pamby pout a little. Irep’s jacket was really cozy, not scary… The pixie proceeded to pull the material even tighter around her, as if to make a point.

“Hey, I like this jacket! Ir- Uh, I mean, a good friend gave it to me.” Her face brushed the inside of the coat’s collar, which wafted a very strong scent over her senses, making her face light up. It smells like his cologne… She would’ve nearly lost herself in the scent, but her sensitive nose betrayed her as she let out a squeaky sneeze. Peri snorted a little.

“A good friend, eh? From the way you’re clutching it for dear life, it sounds like this is more than just a friend thing.” he snickered, winking down at her. Pamby’s face could’ve fried an egg from how hot it became from that accusation. Did she really come off that way? That she liked…? Seeing her go silent and bright red, Peri giggled and poked her in the belly. “Relax, I’m just teasing! You’re so easy to fluster.”

This didn’t seem to help, as Pamby was still focused on his words from earlier, staring down at the jacket gripped in her tiny hands in silence. Peri winced a bit, and lightly patted her shoulder.

“Hey, I’m sorry if what I said was over the line. My mom often reminds me to watch my sassy mouth when meeting new people. She would know, I got my gift of the gab from her.” Another nudge from him finally made Pamby remember where she was, as she quickly locked eyes back with Peri and let out a forced awkward laugh.

“H-Haha! It’s okay, I wasn’t offended or anything. Just thinkin’ is all.” she stuttered, her change of tone making Peri grin.

“I like your accent. That charming southern drawl is just so cute!” The compliment caught Pamby completely off guard. She didn’t realize her accent had been starting to slip out. This is the first time anyone’s ever said anything nice about it either. Anytime it slipped out around H.P., he’d enroll her into yet another boring speech class to keep her as monotone and robotic as possible. Pamby suddenly let out an involuntary giggle, a genuine one this time.

“Oh, thank you! Honestly, I don’t know where I picked it up, I’m not from the south. I try hard to talk out of it…” she admitted, brushing some hair from her face.

“Well then stop trying, cuz it’s adorable! It sounds nice on you.” he smiled, winking at her once again. Pamby gulped nervously. I really hope he’s just being nice… “Speaking of, where are you from? Any part of Fairyworld I know of?”

Uh oh.

“OH! U-Um… I, uh…” Pamby shook, her face now starting to coat with sweat. This was the one thing she couldn’t think to make up a story for. She didn’t KNOW any places in Fairy World, she had never been! Not even for important business trips, as her boss just refused to take her for some reason. Sanderson was restricted from doing so as well, leaving his hands tied even if he did want to take her. She never got a reason as to why either… not that she’d ever expect that old goat to tell her anything. She was running out of time though, and needed to think quickly.

Like an angel answering her prayers, something caught Peri’s eye that made him forget the conversation entirely. From his widening eyes and paling skin, whatever it was was striking fear into his soul right this instant. He slowly pointed to a figure right behind her, hidden completely in shadow with red eyes burning from the dark.

“U-Uh… Who is-“ Suddenly, the figure flew past Pamby at the speed of a train, colliding right into Peri and knocking him to the ground. The speed made the pixie spin in a circle for a moment before she steadied herself, shaking her head so she could properly recognize who just attacked her new “friend”. Through sounds of growls and of Peri’s high-pitched yelps, the two’s eyes widened at the blue fae that had his purple foe pinned to the ground.

“…IREP??”

Before Peri could question what the hell had gotten into his rival, the anti-fairy let out a snarl and started to swipe his claws at the violet man under him, with the only words he shouted being “DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!!!! ”. Luckily before he could puncture his jugular like he had hoped, Pamby grabbed the feral imp around his waist and yanked him off, holding him back as best as she could while he continued to swipe wildly.

The now slightly scratched up fairy on the ground scrambled into a sitting position and shielded himself with one arm. Despite the ferocity Irep was displaying, Peri seemed much more annoyed than terrified now.

“What did I do to set him off this time!?” he cried out. Pamby continued to restrain her friend, with her arms flexing as much as possible to keep him locked to her.

“I-I don’t know!” The pixie was suddenly yanked forward as Irep made a sudden lunge at Peri, biting at the air like a dog with rabies. The constant resistance and struggle quickly started to bubble up frustration inside Pamby, and she finally slammed her feet to the ground with a huff. Using all of her strength, she slammed Irep down to the ground and pushed all her weight on top of him, hugging him as tight as she could. “IREP! Calm down, NOW, or else!!”

Her sudden aggressive tone was a surprise to all three, even herself. Right after that command left her lips, it left her in a stunned silence while she still held her friend down. She’s never had a chance to speak that way to anyone… let alone express her anger without consequence. That felt… good.

A muffled cough could be heard under her. Irep had stopped flailing. Or… moving at all. Panicking, Pamby quickly jumped off of him and helped the pacified anti-fairy to his knees.

“Ah, I-I’m sorry, sweetie! I nearly suffocated you!” she whimpered, brushing her hands over his chest and hips to clean the grass stains. Her words combined with her touch sent a jolt through Irep’s body, shivering before swiftly grabbing the pixie’s wrists.

“I… I’m fine.” he said in a hoarse whisper, and now both his friend and arch-nemesis could get a good look at his face: it was INSANELY purple, the blush traveling all the way up to his ears and even around his neck. Sweat was coating any visible part of his skin, and his eyes were practically bugged out in shock. Irep shakily pushed his now messy hair back into its normal slicked-back form, as he tried to steady his breathing as best as he could. “Forgive me for scaring you, my dear. You can’t really blame me for how I react when I see him around.”

His bloodshot eyes glared directly at Peri, who just scoffed and let out an annoyed groan.

“I was literally just standing here! That did NOT warrant you to try to gouge my eyes out like a feral cat!” he pouted. He pushed himself back up into the air and brushed off his own grass stains, with his eyes scanning the area for any potential security guards. Huh… the crowd just had to conveniently leave before he got viciously assaulted, didn’t they? “What are you even doing here, anyway? Anti-fairies aren’t welcome at these events, everyone knows that!”

Pamby tilted her head innocently. I didn’t know that… Peri’s face suddenly scrunched up as he observed the two. From them holding each other so close, to Irep missing his signature leather getup, to Pamby having said leather getup on… oh no. There’s no way.

“Are you two like… together?” The question made Pamby heat up nearly as hard as her friend, who looked like he could’ve passed out from the constant head rush he kept getting curveballed with. Since Pamby was at a complete loss for words, Irep pulled the smaller fae protectively behind him.

“We’re friends , and that’s as far as you need to know, PERI.” he spat, though his explanation hardly pushed away the other’s suspicions. I mean, he’d sooner believe someone pitied the guy enough to just hang out with him rather than full-on DATE the lunatic. But even then, there was something way too… intimate about their body language. Plus the fact this “good friend” Pamby was talking about was very obviously him.

The intense emotional spikes finally caught up with the anti-fairy, unfortunately, as his eyes blinked unevenly and his large head started to sway side-to-side. Luckily, his smaller companion managed to catch him before he could collapse.

“Oh beans, all that excitement made you so lightheaded, didn’t it?” she cooed, stroking Irep’s cheek softly as she supported his weight. As she cuddled her ailing friend close, she turned to Peri. “Could you please keep an eye on him while I go fetch him some water? Don’t worry, he doesn’t have enough energy left to attack you again.”

Not true. I could be bloodied and bruised and have every bone broken, and I could still find a way to kill him. The hate filled stare he gave Peri made his skin crawl, but he reluctantly sighed.

“Sure, go ahead. Just do it fast so he doesn’t get a chance to go for the throat this time.” he grumbled. His nemesis was gently placed on the ground at his feet, making him instinctively float at least three feet away.

“Thank you, Peri! I’ll be right back, okay, honey?” Leaving him a loving pat on the cheek, Pamby flew away as fast as possible to search for a drink stand, leaving the two opposites to awkwardly wait around in silence.

Well, it seems that maybe Pamby’s statement was correct. Even when she was out of sight, Irep made zero attempts to finish what he had started on his rival, instead just pulling his legs to his chest and staying huddled while glaring down at the ground. Against his better judgment, Peri couldn’t help but smirk that his enemy was currently left unarmed. The fairy smugly leaned onto his cane-like wand.

“Sooo… you only attacked me because I was talking to your crush ?” The absolutely ferocious death stare Irep was now giving the man could’ve melted steel with its intensity, but with him stuck on the dirt it only made Peri grin wider. The other simply growled at him.

“Go away, you wretch .”

“Aw, c’mon, is that it? If you’re gonna insult me, at least make it hit harder than that.” he teased with a snicker. Irep whipped back around and bared his teeth.

“KILL YOURSELF.”

“See, now that’s more like it!” Peri laughed. His reaction just made the punk growl even louder and fall flat on his back in defeat. With a giggle, Peri floated right over his face, lazily lying back in the air. “Oh calm down, I’m just messin’ with you, man! I think it’s great you found someone who actually tolerates your presence.”

He was trying his best to actually be encouraging, but his love of riling up his evil clone like this was too much to hold back. Even so, he was telling the truth. Irep just grunted in annoyance, turning his cubic head as best he can to hide his purple cheeks.

“I already told you, you invasive pest, that we’re only FRIENDS. And she doesn’t just tolerate me, she thinks I’m cool! Much cooler than you .” he childishly taunted, even sticking his tongue out at the man above him. Peri just rolled his eyes.

“Jeez, relax, I’m not gonna take her from you or anything. I think you deserve a nice girl like her to keep you on a leash.” The backhanded compliment almost made Irep leap up at him, until he heard the last part. Instead, his ears twitched as he turned even more purple. The fairy in the air scratched his chin in thought. “So does this mean I have to, like… date her anti-fairy now or something? Is that how that works? I hope not, I already made dinner plans with someone else…”

Irep’s eyes widened in panic, his fingers tapping together nervously.

“No! Not technically, because she’s… uh…”

“I’m back!” Oh, thank the gods. Pamby floated over with two ice-cold water bottles in her arms, handing one to Peri (which Irep glowered at him for) and sitting down on Irep’s legs to hand him the other. “Drink it slowly, it’ll hydrate you faster if you do it in small doses.”

“Why, thank you, Pam Pam!” Peri chirped, the little nickname making Irep nearly squeeze his water bottle to death. Grumbling a quiet thanks to his friend, he gingerly sipped the water down. Peri watched from above with amusement, as Pamby continued to practically sit on his rival’s lap while petting his cheek to comfort him. He couldn’t hold back, he had to push his buttons further. “Say Pam, if you and Irep are ever free this Saturday, you should come join me and my partner at that fancy new italian restaurant in Fairy World! We can make it a double date!”

Liquid spat all over the ground as Irep nearly choked on the water in his mouth, causing Pamby to pat his back to help clear his throat. Oh, I’m going to tear a new one out of that purple smarmy piece OF-!

“U-Um, we’ll try to see if we can fit you in on that day. I’m on vacation and Irep and I were planning to spend the whole week together.” Pamby explained, her cheeks also burning now.

“Great! You’re gonna love Starlette, they’re always the life of the party!” he swooned, with hearts practically popping above his head. With a wave, he whipped out his wand. “Well, I’m gonna go explore the other side of the convention. Maybe a less stressful career is waiting for me over there… hopefully. It was nice meeting you, Pam Pam!”

“Nice to meet you too, Peri!” Pamby waved back, while Irep sat up in fury.

“DON’T YOU RUN AWAY, YOU FU-“ and just like that, the fairy poofed away. lrep’s arms slumped to his side. Great. At least he was finally gone… he didn’t want to have to hear that obnoxious voice for the rest of the week if he could help it. A sudden cold sensation on his forehead finally made him focus back on the girl cuddled up to him, who was holding his water bottle to his face.

“Don’t get worked up again, sweetie, I don’t want you making yourself sick.” With him now alone with his love once again, Irep could feel all his hatred and anger melt away in an instant. Why did she have to be so caring? Coming from anyone else he’d be repulsed, but Pamby was always focusing it on him alone. The unconditional compassion sent feelings of affection coursing through his mind… along with worry. His hand gently held onto her arm.

“Are we really going to have dinner with that pestilent cotton puff?” he spat, giving her a pout. Pamby giggled a bit at his insult, handing the water back to him.

“I mean, as long as you’re okay with it… It might be hard to continue hiding the fact I’m a pixie though. Unless you let me keep your jacket.” she laughed, but went silent when her friend failed to laugh with her. His pout soured into a more sorrowful expression, the fae turning away from her.

“…Do you think he’s cooler than me?” he muttered. Pamby went completely wide-eyed in shock.

“What?” Her companion still wouldn’t look her in the eye, now huddling up even tighter.

“I mean, you two get along so great. It’s no surprise though, everyone else loves him no matter what he does. While I only exist to be his inferior version…” This pitiful speech seemed to be more directed at himself than Pamby now… “You don’t have to lie to me to protect my feelings, you know. You can go hang out with him on Saturday if that’s what you really want. Just don’t expect me to show up.”

Pamby just frowned in concern. What was he talking about? Had she accidentally made him feel unwanted? She had always thought he came off as someone overcompensating, but she didn’t realize it ran that deep… The pixie quickly scooted forward onto his lap and pulled him into a tight hug, gently rubbing his back to soothe his bruised ego.

“Irep, I would never think any of that about him, or you. I already told you that you stand out on your own from your fairy, and that didn’t change even after meeting him. I don’t ever see or think about Peri when I look at you, sweetie… I promise.” Her soft hands trailed up to his cheeks as she looked into his eyes, and for a moment Irep’s breath hitched. Feeling her fingers caress slightly over his mustache, his wings started to flutter in anticipation. “No matter what, you’ll always be my best friend, and no one’s ever going to rank over you in my life.”

… Oh. Irep’s wings stopped on a dime as his expression subtly fell.

“Right… friends.” His insistence on their friendship would of course bite him back later on, and he didn’t know why he hadn’t expected it at all. This is what he wanted, right? Keep things professional, so it’ll be easier to use her help later and move on. But now the thought of committing to that… was making him horribly sick to his stomach.

The heavy silence between them could’ve flattened them at that moment, and it only left Pamby feeling even more concerned. Maybe he needs something to show I meant that… Softly gripping his face, she gently pulled Irep’s face downward… and pressed a warm kiss to his forehead.

Had you pressed your ear to his chest, Irep’s heart at that moment would’ve sounded like it was on the verge of imploding. Like magic, the muscles in his wings started up thrice as fast as before, with his ears practically dancing in delight. That chorus of angels from his first day with his beloved could be heard clear as day in his head, like a heavenly form of tinnitus. 

The stunned anti-fairy could only stare back at his adorable, enchanting, beautiful pixie smiling up at him with the sweetest gaze imaginable… before he suddenly vomited into his hands.

“OH, CREPES! Are you okay!?” Pamby whimpered, hugging the poor fae and patting his back. He couldn’t bring himself to respond, staring at the bodily fluid in his hands in horror while still slightly choking on it. Pamby immediately pulled him up into a floating position, taking his wand out of his pocket. “Let’s get you back to the apartment. We’ll be safe hiding the rest of the day out in my room, so you can get some rest, okay?”

Not waiting for Irep to speak, she waved the wand and made it spark, its magic vanishing them back home in a heartbeat. Their patch of grass was now empty, save for a crushed half-empty water bottle…

…and a pink heart-covered puddle on the ground.