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Year 3 

      Two years had passed since Estella had been in the Autumn Court. She hadn't particularly wanted to go back after her row with Eris.

     But Rhys had sent her to meet with one of Beron's sentries, who was undercover and reporting back to the High Lord of the Night Court. 

     Estella had only met the sentry in person once and hadn't quite liked him. But it was an alliance, and her opinion of him mattered very little. She had orders to follow. 

      She didn't like disappointing Rhys, so she had gone without complaining. He'd always been there for Estella. He was like an older brother to her. 

     While Azriel was the only one truly related to Estella, she also considered Cassian and Rhys to be her brothers. And they'd always loved and protected her like she was their little sister.

     Estella's shadows hid her in the crook of a large tree. She was almost 100% sure these were the coordinates she had been given, but he still had not shown up. 

"Not coming, not coming, not coming," a shadow whispered in her ear. She shushed it, then realized how ridiculous it was to shush a shadow. 

     She decided to wait another twenty minutes, then contact Rhys. If her brother did not provide any information, she would go home. 

     Her shadows wrapped further around her body to blend her into her surroundings as she leaned into the tree's bend.

     She felt she'd never become accustomed to the autumn foliage. Its beauty was exquisite, with the forest floor covered in a chaotic array of red, orange, and brown leaves.

     The crunch of the leaves beneath her feet was frustrating while trying to sneak around, but she'd have appreciated it if she were merely going for a walk.

     As time passed, Estella began to grow concerned. What if something had happened? What if he had been discovered and ratted her out?

"You're not as sly as you think you are, fawn."

     Estella jumped, nearly falling out of the tree's bend as she turned around and found herself facing Eris Vanserra, as annoyingly perfect as he'd been the last time she'd seen him. This time, he donned a brown tunic with a gold belt and black pants.

"Why didn't you warn me?" she mentally scolded her shadows.

"Not a threat," they merely replied.

     Before she could be informed on how Eris Vanserra, of all people, wasn't a threat, she realized he was staring at her like she had grown another head.

"Are they speaking to you?" he questioned, a perfectly groomed eyebrow raised.

"Yes," Estella replied smugly, crossing her arms. "What would their purpose be otherwise?"

"To keep you hidden?" he guessed, a smirk on his lips. "Though, they're doing a shit job at that."

     Estella wondered with a tight chest when the small talk would cease, and he would turn her in. She could be imprisoned or killed for spying and trespassing. 

     She supposed she could fight back, at least until he had his sentries on his side. But the Autumn Court had an endless resource of soldiers and guards. And she knew very well that Eris had smokehounds. He could sic a number of them on her if he had to, just enough so she didn't stand a chance in a fight. 

"Don't be concerned," a shadow assured her. 

     The shadows were irritating Estella with their strange behavior and indifference towards the male standing before her. As far as she knew, he was one of the cruelest males in Prythian. 

"I assume you're here to meet with Graham?" he guessed. Estella masked the sickening shock that coursed through her.

"What did you do to him?" she snarled.

"I didn't do anything," he drawled. "My father, however, had him beheaded an hour ago."

     Estella's stomach twisted, threatening to be sick at the words. Her shadows quietly confirmed his words, only making her feel worse.

"You are a monster," she hissed at him, glaring daggers at the male.

"I am not responsible for my father's actions," he snapped, his eyes going from teasing to firm within a second. "Did we not go over this the last time we met?"

"Yes, yes," Estella recalled, leaning against the tree. "No need to get vicious again."

"Watch how you speak to me," he warned, tilting his head slightly. "I could turn you in very easily."

"You won't," she claimed, shrugging her shoulders, though she had no reason to believe he wouldn't besides her shadows being so calm. 

"And why wouldn't I?" he demanded, stepping closer to her. 

     Her senses were overwhelmed with his scent. He smelled of cinnamon and smoke. Smoke from a bonfire. Not the kind of smoke she remembered choking on as her hands burned and burned and--

     Estella desperately tried to think of an excuse, her mind distracted by him so close to her.

"Because, now, I owe you a favor," she replied, hating the words the moment they left her mouth. 

      He studied her features, his amber eyes narrowed with mistrust. She could almost see the gears in his pretty head turning.

"Leave before I change my mind."

     A sharp sting made Estella wince, a harsh breath leaving her lips. She glanced down at her burning wrist to find a small, black tattoo in the shape of a leaf. She glanced back to see Eris studying his own wrist.

     Of course, it had to be somewhere that would be impossible to hide from her brothers. She saw a lot of long sleeves and bracelets in her future. 

     Instead of complaining, as she expected from him, Eris just smirked at her before winnowing away, leaving her frustrated and upset yet again. 

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Year 3

     The night of the Autumn Equinox fell on the weekend Estella usually spent at her mother's. The last weekend of every month, she spent three days and two nights at the little cottage Azriel had bought for their mother. 

     Sometimes, Azriel joined her, but this month, he was busy. So she packed her bag and showed up at her mother's door alone. 

"Oh, I've missed you, little Stella," her mother expressed as she opened the door. 

"I missed you too, Mama," Estella grinned, dropping her bag and leaping into her mother's embrace.

     She felt safe in her mother's arms—she always had. Inhaling the scent of ravensara brought her back to her childhood, to that hour a week she spent with the female. Her mother had always smelled of ravensara, and it was one of the most comforting scents in the world.

     Estella's mother opened the door, allowing her daughter to bring her bag inside the little cottage. Estella's shadows swirled around her mother, greeting her with affection. 

"I bought everything we need to make your favorite for dinner--lamb chops," her mother announced. 

"Oh, that would be lovely," Estella said with a smile. 

     Lamp chops had been her first real meal after she had been rescued from her father's keep. It was the first authentic meal she'd ever had in her life. 

     She continued, "We could go to the orchestra; I know how much you love it. " 

"It would have to be tonight or Monday," Estella sighed. 

"Well, I was thinking tomorrow night," her mother disputed. 

"Mama, do you remember the Winter Solstice ball a few decades ago?" Estella asked, fidgeting with her hands. "Well, I spent the night here and left my dress behind." 

"Yes, it's in my closet," she told her, brows furrowed. 

"Well, I was invited to a ball in the Autumn Court tomorrow night," Estella said anxiously.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" her mother exclaimed. "I've been waiting for you and your brother to settle down and start families, Stella; I mean, you're both five centuries old-" 

"It's not like that," Estella denied, a flush creeping onto her cheeks. "In fact, I despise the male that invited me. But so do Rhys, Cass, and Az. Especially Az. And they forbade me from attending, so . . . " 

"You felt you needed to attend out of spite?" her mother guessed, rolling her eyes. "You've never changed." 

"Yes," Estella admitted. "But I also do want to attend. I haven't been to a ball in years, Mama. You know how much I loved them." 

"Yes," her mother sighed with a slight smile. "Then I assume you don't want me mentioning this to your brother?" 

"Gods no," Estella scoffed. "He would kill me." 

"Oh, Stella, you know I can't stand to lie to either of you," she fussed, shaking her head. 

"Mama, it's not lying!" Estella disputed. "It's just withholding misinformation. Please." 

     Estella's mother met her gaze and let out a sigh. She studied her daughter's features and saw the desperation on her face. Her mother had never been able to deny her little girl anything. 

"Fine," she agreed, stroking Estella's cheek. "I'll get the dress out for you. But you come right home after, and if your brother finds out, I didn't know a thing." 

"Okay, Mama," Estella smiled, affectionately leaning her face on her mother's hand.

»»————-　♔　————-««

     Estella looked gorgeous if she did say so herself. 

     The dress was a floor-length, midnight blue satin gown featuring an off-the-shoulder neckline and a fitted bodice. It flowed into a graceful A-line skirt embellished with delicate silver embroidery along the hem for an extra touch of sophistication. There were slots in the back for her wings. A pair of white elbow-length gloves covered the scars on her hands. She wore silver strapped heels that complemented the embroidery on the dress. 

      She added a pair of delicate chandelier earrings with sapphire stones that she borrowed from her mother, along with a simple silver bracelet. Her mother did her hair in an elegant updo to showcase the dress's neckline and earrings. Her mother also did her makeup, painting her eyelids with blue and silver to match the dress. 

      She knew the low neckline was too scandalous for the Autumn Court, but she also knew that Eris had only invited her to irritate her. So she would irritate him right back.

     Estella stared down at the leaf-shaped tattoo on her wrist as her shadows whispered to her, warning her not to go. To her, if it pissed her brothers off, it would be worth it.

"Are you all ready?" her mother asked. "How are you getting there? Are your shadows going to winnow you?" 

"Yes, Mama, flying would ruin my hair," Estella reminded her. 

"Oh, right," her mother said softly. "I always forget you can fly. It's so rare for a female of your age." And there was a bit of sadness in her eyes as she said it. 

     Estella frowned, leaning in to kiss her mother's cheek. Her mother had never told her about how her wings were clipped, but she assumed it had happened when she was young, like most Illyrian females. Selene had saved Estella's wings, and she was forever grateful for it. 

"I love you," Estella expressed. "I'll be home before midnight, Mama." 

     With that, Estella's shadows winnowed her away. 

     She landed in front of the Forest House, where she found herself surrounded by Autumn Court High Fae. Some shot her looks, likely due to her lesser Fae heritage and shadows. 

"He's staring," a shadow informed her. 

     Estrella glanced around until she met Eris's eyes. He stood just a few yards before her, his amber eyes taking in every inch of her.  

     His smirk made her want to claw at his face. But she let him make his way towards her, though she glared at him with every step he took.

     She couldn't deny how handsome he looked. His hair was combed neatly, and his suit was black with an emerald coat and tie. He smelled nice, just as he had the last two times she'd spoken with him. 

"Shall we?" was all he said, holding an arm out to her. She scowled but took it. "I'm surprised you agreed."

"I only agreed to annoy my brothers," she said, hoping to humble him.

"And how does your cousin feel?"

     She yanked her arm away from him at the words, a genuinely hateful glare twisting her face and pointing in his direction.

"You don't deserve to even speak of her," she snarled at him.

     He didn't reply. He just gripped Estella's arm again, tugging her into the ballroom. 

     The ballroom was gorgeous, with tiles of gold and walls of marble. Fae all around wore fancy suits and gowns. A few of them had to dodge Estella's wings, shooting her dirty looks as they did so. She just glared back at them.

     Eris didn't speak to Estella as his hand slipped around her waist, his other joining with her gloved hand. She begrudgingly began to dance, only because she could imagine the looks on her brother's faces if they were to see her.

"Why did you invite me here?" she demanded.

"You pissed me off in that forest," he said to her, his voice smooth. "It seemed only fair the favor you owed me be something that pissed you off, as well."

     Estella scoffed, rolling her hazel eyes as she danced with him.

     She noticed a couple beside her whispering to each other as they eyed her. Then, it hit her why he had invited her.

     He was trying to embarrass her. He knew everyone would stare and judge her for being Lesser Fae. For her darker skin. For her shadows. For her Night Court fashion.

"I wouldn't think your father would be too happy about you inviting me to this," she said, her shadows sticking close.

"My father doesn't care who I fuck," he replied. "Just who I marry." Her eyes went wide, and she shook her head.

"Sex is not part of the arrangement," she reminded him anxiously. He was out of his mind if he thought he could call that in as a favor. 

"Of course not," he assured. "But people will assume. And talk. And if my father gets word, he won't care."

"He sure seemed to care who your mother was fucking," Estella shot back.

"Careful," a shadow warned. 

     Estella didn't know if the rumors were true, but everyone mentioned his mother and Helion and how Beron found out.

"What did I tell you about saying a word against my mother?" he snarled, his entire demeanor changing as his grip on her waist tightened.

"You invited me here to humiliate me," she replied smoothly. "I will say what I please."

"I don't know what gives you that idea," he denied. "Besides, you and your brother are bastard born, so they say. I can only assume the worst of your mother."

"You know nothing of my mother or the conditions under which I was born," Estella replied, face heating.

     She thought of her mother, the female who had done her hair for the night. The female she had only been allowed to see once a week for the first six years of her life. She hadn't spoken a word to her in those years, her trauma rendering her speechless until she was 11.

     But she loved Estella. She would hold her during that hour, letting Estella nuzzle her face in her neck as she stroked her hair and sang to her.

     She was everything to Estella. She and Azriel were all Estella had for so long.

     Hearing Eris insult her struck something deep in the girl. Her sweet mother had been insulted enough, having two children out of wedlock. She'd been shunned, shamed, and tormented. Not to mention how unbelievably cruel Estella's father had been to the female. She didn't deserve any of it.

     Eris was studying her as she lost herself in her thoughts. She glanced back at him, eyes narrowing.

"Neither of us will speak of the other's mothers," she said.

"Fine," he agreed.

     The dance was one she'd never learned. But he was leading, and she was picking it up quickly. He spun Estella around, then dipped her.

     Estella looked up at him and admired the stunning amber color of his eyes. She found herself captivated, her brows lifting in surprise at his beauty. There was an undeniable connection pulling her toward him, something she could almost feel.

     At that moment, she gasped as if an invisible thread tightened between them, intertwining their fates.

"Mate, mate, mate," her shadows whispered.

     His eyes went vast, wild, as she tore herself from his grip.

"Wait--" he insisted.

      But her shadows had winnowed her away before he could say another word.

Chapter Text

Year 4

     It had been a year since that night. The night that the bond had snapped.

     Estella had winnowed back to her mother's house and woken the female with tears streaming down her face. 

"He's my mate," she had sobbed to her mother, begging her not to tell anyone.

     Her mother promised and listened to her daughter cry about how much she hated the male and how cruel the Cauldron was. 

     Since then, she'd screamed into her pillow, sobbed herself to sleep, and tried to ignore that string in her chest, leading her to him. In fact, that had been her little routine nearly every night.

     She wouldn't call herself a romantic, but she had grown up hearing stories about mates. Her mother would tell her romantic tales to calm her down during the hour that she saw her.

     She'd always dreamed of finding a mate--one she loved. But Eris was far from that. She despised him. To have him as her mate, of all people . . . it was a cruel twist of fate.

     Estella hadn't told a soul besides her mother about the bond. She hadn't even dared to speak it out loud since. Even her shadows hadn't repeated the word 'mate' since.

     But she decided to put aside her self-pity for a few days. Rhysand was taking the family--except Cassian--to the Summer Court for a nice vacation. Cassian was quite upset about it, but he had been banned, and the rest weren't giving up the beach for him.

     Mor had let her borrow a black bikini--one she knew her brothers would disapprove of. It was skimpy enough to leave little to the imagination.

     She found Rhys already on the beach, sitting on a chair with his wings put away and sunglasses on. Mor settled down on a towel beside him, stretching out to tan.

"Az is gonna make you change if he sees you in that, Stella," Rhys warned her.

"Mor gave it to me," Estella shrugged. He raised a brow at his cousin, who only grinned.

"You're lucky Cassian isn't here, Mor," Rhys joked. "He wouldn't be happy." She just rolled her eyes at him as she sat in the chair beside him.

     She closed her eyes, sighing contently as she relaxed. The smell of sea salt and the sound of the waves hitting the shore put her at ease.

"I want a drink," Mor complained, propping herself up with her hands as she tilted her head towards the sun.

"I can get us some," Estella offered, getting to her feet as she adjusted her bikini bottoms.

"Get me a piña colada," she said, flopping back onto her towel. Estella raised a brow at her until she added, "Please."

     Estella went to the beach bar, tucking her wings in so she didn't hit anybody with them. Leaving the Night Court as an Illyrian was humbling. Everyone stared at her constantly, and her shadows didn't help.

"Two piña coladas, please," Estella ordered with a polite smile.

      The bartender nodded as she paid for her drinks. She sighed and leaned her arms on the bar, waiting.

"A male is staring," her shadows sang to her.

     Her shadows had always brought gawking males to her attention, and she loved making those males uncomfortable for their staring.

"Are you enjoying the view?" Estella called, not bothering to turn around.

"Very much."

     She knew the voice immediately. The string in her chest went taut, something it hadn't done since the bond had snapped. She spun around, finding herself facing Eris.

     He wore simpler Summer Court clothing. His face remained as perfect as she remembered, unchanged despite her wishes.

     His scent of cinnamon and bonfire smoke seemed so out of place in the Summer Court. While Estella wore bracelets to cover her bargain tattoo, his was on display.

"Stare at some other female's ass," Estella glared once she had recovered from her shock.

"None of them measure up to yours," he taunted. She wrinkled her nose.

"You'll have to make due," she replied.

"Such a shame," he sighed with exaggeration. "I'll have to store the view away for later."

"Pig," Estella snarled. He only chuckled, which managed to piss her off even more. "Are you stalking me?"

"I'm here for business," he shrugged. "I noticed a particularly attractive female, and I didn't realize it was you until I got closer."

     Estella doubted that very much. How many other females had wings and shadows?

"How could you tell I was attractive?" she demanded, crossing her arms. "You only saw the back of me."

"The back is all I need," he grinned. She groaned, rolling her eyes at him.

"Two piña coladas," the bartender said, placing them on the table. She thanked him before picking the drinks up.

"You bought me a drink? How thoughtful," Eris teased.

"The other is for Mor," Estella said, tensing as she brought her cousin up. "And I suggest you leave before she sees you."

"I would if I could, but as I said, I'm here on business," he reminded her.

"What business?" Estella demanded, quirking a brow.

"Autumn Court business," he replied vaguely with a wave of his hand. "Speaking of my Court, you left hurriedly the last time I saw you."

     Estella froze up at the mention of that night. She'd been hoping he wouldn't bring it up.

"I wasn't feeling well," she lied.

"Really?" she heard in her mind, causing her to flinch. "So the bond didn't snap for you, too?" 

     Estella tried to force him out of her head, as Rhys had trained her to, but she could not. It had to be the bond. She was stuck with him in her head because of this stupid fucking bond. 

     Estella knew the Autumn Court took mating bonds very seriously. If his father knew about them, she would be forced to marry Eris. If her brothers refused to allow her, he could start a war over her hand. She would have no choice.

     She thought of how Mor got out of marriage with him. Estella wasn't a virgin. She had lost her virginity at 18 to an older Illyrian male in Windhaven named Marcus. He had told her he loved her, then broken her heart for another young female after he got what he wanted from her. After that, she'd been careful about who she gave herself to. She'd only been with a handful of males since.

"I'm not a virgin," Estella blurted. 

     He stared at her, wide-eyed and confused, before breaking into laughter. Her face went red at the sound.

"What?" he laughed, his eyes twinkling.

"You can't force me to marry you; I'm not a virgin," she repeated.

"First of all, I wasn't planning on forcing you to marry me," he said. "And second, none of that matters once the mating bond is in place. You'd still be my property, and I'd still have to marry you if my father knew. But he doesn't. And I'm not going to tell him."

"Why not?" Estella asked warily.

"Because I have no interest in marrying you," he answered bluntly. 

     She didn't know why the words almost made her flinch. She had no interest in marrying him, either.

     She went to reply, trying to find harsh words that would hurt him, but her shadows began to swirl around her.

"Brother approaching," they warned.

      Her head turned slightly, eyes meeting Azriel's as he neared the both of them.

"I heard you were here on business, but I did not expect you to have the nerve to speak to my sister," Azriel snapped, his hazel eyes narrowed at the male.

"We were just catching up," Eris smirked, winking at Estella.

"Leave her alone," Azriel snarled.

      With that, her brother led her away with his hand on her back. Her scarred hands still held the drinks, and his shadows moved to cover her ass from Eris's view as she turned away from him.

"You're changing into a different bathing suit," Azriel grumbled.

Chapter Text

Year 4

"That mask makes you look so mysterious," Mor teased Estella as she got ready.

     Amarantha was throwing a masquerade ball Under the Mountain. Rhys had no choice but to make an appearance, and Estella had insisted that she go with him. She didn't want him to be alone. Besides, he rarely let her go on dangerous missions. He usually left those to Azriel.

     The only thing she was dreading was facing Eris Vanserra. While she knew he was invited, she wasn't sure if he would attend. It had been two months since she saw him in the Summer Court. She hadn't felt that thread in her chest since.

     She wore a stunning floor-length gold gown crafted from luxurious silk. The dress featured a fitted bodice with a sweetheart neckline and delicate lace detailing. The skirt flowed gracefully to the floor, and there were slots in the back for her wings. She wore gold metallic heels on her feet. 

     She wore diamond stud earrings and a delicate gold bracelet, which Selene had gifted her as a teenager. 

     Mor curled her hair, leaving it loose on her shoulders. She also applied makeup, using sparkling eyeshadow and a bold red lip. A gold masquerade mask was placed over her face.

"The males will be all over you," Mor continued, grinning at the younger girl.

"I don't want any of them," Estrella told her, rolling her hazel eyes.

"A female, perhaps?" she grinned, winking at Estella.

"Oh, hush," Estella pouted, glaring. She just laughed.

"Well, come on, Stella," she insisted, hauling herself to her feet. "Rhys is waiting."

     She had been keeping Rhys waiting for twenty minutes now, but he was well aware that she always took her time getting ready.

"Look who's finally ready," Cassian taunted as Estella and Mor finally emerged from her bedroom.

"You would understand if you put effort into your own appearance," Mor shot at him.

"It was good enough for you when we were seventeen," he reminded her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

     Rhys was standing in the foyer, his hands in his pockets. He donned a black suit with a black undershirt. The jacket and pants were embroidered with stars.

"Are you ready, milady?" Rhys joked with a smile.

"I am," Estella confirmed with a nod.

"You look beautiful," he complimented.

"Thank you," she curtsied.

     He bowed, kissing her gloved hand, before rising again. She couldn't help but grin. Her brothers had always treated her like a princess despite her being a bastard-born nobody. They made her feel like she was special.

     Within a second, he winnowed the two of them away. She clutched onto him, her shadows surrounding her.

     When both of them materialized, she was in a place similar to Hewn City.

     Estella had heard the rumors that Amarantha had modeled this place after the Court of Nightmares. It seemed she was in a throne room, one almost identical to the one Rhys ruled in.

     The room was crowded with High Fae and Lesser Fae alike, all in their finest clothes, wearing masks.

     Her shadows whispered to her, warning her to be careful. But they had been on edge all day, so she brushed them off.

     She spotted Amarantha on a large throne, wearing a crimson dress that matched her long hair. Her lips were twisted in a smirk as she watched the crowd.

"I have business to attend to," Rhys said smoothly. "Stay safe. Don't wander off. Reach out to me if you need anything."

     With that, he disappeared into the shadows. Estella went off by herself, glancing around as she did so.

     Estella strolled over to the refreshments, pouring herself a glass of red wine. Most of the Fae around her were already drunk and stumbling around.

     As she took a sip, she felt that abandoned string in her chest go taut. She was well aware that Eris had approached before her shadows told her.

"Mate," they whispered to her.

"I didn't take you for a red girl," she heard him muse.

"What?" Estella demanded, whirling on him with narrowed eyes.

"Your wine," he clarified with a raised brow. She glanced at the red wine in her hand, then at him.

     He wore a golden undershirt embroidered with autumn leaves. Over that, he had an emerald jacket and brown trousers. His short hair was combed neatly. And his face was adorned with a golden mask.

"You don't know anything about me," Estella mumbled, swirling her wine in the glass.

"It was just an assumption."

"Listen, if you want nothing to do with me, why don't you leave me alone?" she questioned, glaring up at him.

"Maybe I quite enjoy pissing you off," he grinned. She scoffed, rolling her hazel eyes.

"Maybe you're just a prick," Estella corrected.

"Both can be true," he mused.

     She wanted to snap--wanted to piss him off right back. But the sound of fingers snapping distracted her.

     Amarantha was situated on the platform, accompanied by all seven High Lords, who were all holding glasses of wine. Rhys fixed his gaze on her, nothing but pure hatred in his eyes.

"I'd like to offer an apology to the youngest Vanserra," Amarantha crooned.

     It had been said that this ball was her apology for carving Lucien Vanserra's eye out.

"We shall toast to him!" she commanded, raising her glass. The High Lords raised theirs as well before drinking deeply.

     But she could tell that something had gone wrong the moment she saw Rhys's face.

     The fierce power that generally radiated from the High Lords had diminished significantly. The night that glowed around Rhys was almost entirely gone.

     Amarantha's red lips formed a grin as she gleamed with power that had not existed before.

     A commotion broke out all through the room. Every one of the High Lords seemed to realize they had been robbed of their magic.

     Estella met Rhys's eyes, but he shot her a warning look. One that told her to stay where she was.

     Eris was already shoving through the crowd, likely to get to his father, but Estella didn't budge. She trusted Rhys.

"Welcome to my court," Amarantha smirked. "I am your Queen. Don't bother trying to leave."

     Estella's eyes went wide, her mind going to her family. Azriel, Cassian, Mor, and Amren. What would she do without them?

     Chaos broke loose, Fae shoving through the crowd. Estella grunted as she was pushed to the side. She clutched onto the table, holding herself steady as everyone went wild.

"And, you, dear Tamlin--" Amarantha practically purred, dragging a finger down his chest. "Shall be my King."

     Tamlin snarled, shoving her away from him. She stumbled just slightly but quickly got her bearings.

"I would sooner take a human to my bed--I would sooner marry a human than touch you," Tamlin shot at her. "Even your sister preferred a human's company to yours. She chose Jurian over you."

     Everyone in the room seemed to halt at that. She let go of the table, standing up straight. That was too far, and Tamlin was well aware of it.

"You're quite lucky I'm in a generous mood," she crooned. "So I'll give you a chance to break the spell you're all under."

     Tamlin spat in her face, and she paused, fire in her eyes as she froze for a moment. But the fury in her gaze was short-lived, and she laughed cooly, wiping it away with her sleeve.

"You have seven times seven years before I claim you," she stated. "If you want to break the curse, you only need to find a human girl willing to marry you. But not just any girl--a human with ice in her heart. A human willing to kill a faerie. And the faerie must be one of your men. And only if she kills him in an unprovoked attack. He must be killed for hatred alone--just as Jurian did to Clythia. So you may understand my sister's pain."

     Tamlin could only glare at her. Without his power, he was completely defenseless.

"The Spring Court is free to leave," she announced. "The rest of you shall remain here."

      Estella tried to meet Rhys's gaze again, but his was so focused on Amarantha, his eyes narrowed.

     She met his eyes, a smirk on her red lips. She kept eye contact with Rhys as she flung The Autumn Court power out--towards where the Court of Nightmares was gathered.

     Estella felt the heat on her face as the flames struck the court, hitting half of them—half of Rhys's court. Amarantha kept her eyes on him the whole time.

     Shrieks echoed from the entire room, and Estella realized that she, too, was screaming as she watched hundreds of Fae burning to death. The scars on her hands seemed to ache, just as they always did when she was around flames.

     They started to fall in fiery masses, their skin burning away until they became nothing but charred remains.

     Her shadows had gone quiet, and when she looked down, she realized that they had disappeared entirely as if they had never existed. 

     Rhys finally met her gaze, and she gave him a pleading look. He shook his head slightly at the girl.

     Estella noticed Eris standing with his mother, his arm around her protectively. She was always surprised by how fiercely he protected her. Whenever she mentioned the female, he got defensive.

"I still have a small portion of my power left," Rhys said into Estella's mind. "I've secured Velaris. I've informed our family what happened. You need to lie low, Estella. I will find you when I can."

"I'm scared," Estella admitted to him, eyes wide.

"I know," he said. "Just stay away from her until I can get to you, and you'll be fine."

Chapter Text

Year 4

     Estella followed Rhys's instructions and laid low for precisely three days. But on the fourth day, when he still hadn't come to her, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

     She spent two days spying, which was more difficult without her shadows. She listened in on conversations and blended into her surroundings until she found out where Rhys's room was located.

     Today was the sixth day, and she was sitting on his bed, waiting for him to return. She noticed that the room was quite bare, which didn't surprise her. Her room was also plain, but it was better than a cell.

     Estella had been sitting on his bed for twenty minutes when the door finally opened. She glanced at Rhys as he entered his room wearily.

     The first thing she noted was how worn he looked. There were awful bags under his eyes, his hair was unkempt for the first time in his life, and the look in his eyes was haunting.

     His face seemed to fall slightly when his violet eyes met Estella's, and he sighed in defeat, shoulders drooping.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. "I told you to lay low and find you when I could."

"It's been six days," Estella pointed out, sitting up straight, her wings tucking in behind her.

"I've been getting things under control," he said. "How did you find me?"

"I'm a spymaster, Rhys," Estella reminded him, rolling her eyes. "It's what I do."

     A groan loosed from his throat as he ran his hand over his face. He neared the bed and slumped down on it next to Estella. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away. He glanced at her apologetically.

"Is it . . . Is it true?" Estella asked delicately. "What they're saying?" He couldn't meet her eyes. "You don't have to tell me."

"It's true," he barely whispered.

"Oh, Rhys," Estella sighed, her heart aching for her brother. "I'm so sorry."

     Tears sprung in his eyes, and they fell even as he tried to blink them back. Estella didn't want to touch him again, but she didn't know how to comfort him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Don't apologize," Estella assured him. "You can cry in front of me. I mean, how many times have I cried to you?"

"Too many to count," he recalled, a slight smile on his lips.

"Right," Estella smiled. "You're my brother, and I'll always be there for you."

"I know, little shadow," he said softly. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I know where your room is. I'll come by when I can, okay? Don't come here again. It's too dangerous."

"Okay," Estella agreed with a nod. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he expressed, squeezing her hand as she got to her feet.

     Estella stepped into the hallway, carefully ensuring no one was around when she exited the room. She didn't want to get him--or herself--into trouble, especially not with Amarantha.

     A million thoughts were whirling in her head as she wandered down the corridors to her room. He was being forced to be Amarantha's whore. He was putting up with it to keep their family and Estella safe.

     Just as the guilt consumed her, a hand gripped her wing, yanking her back. She shrieked, despising the sensation of having her wings touched. 

     When she turned around, she encountered a man who resembled someone from the Winter Court. His skin was nearly white, matching his curly hair.

"Let go of my wing, asshole," Estella glared. He obliged, a smirk on his lips.

"You seemed lost in your thoughts," he observed. "Care to share?"

"I have no interest in sharing with you," she snarled at the male.

"I didn't realize they made such pretty Illyrian females," he said, his eyes raking up and down the girl. "Usually, they look worn."

"When that's the case, it's usually the fault of you males," Estella scoffed, crossing her arms.

"I bet I could wear you out," he flirted, stepping towards her.

"Not a chance," Estella declined, taking a step back.

"Have you ever been with a Winter Court male?" he wondered, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She flinched away.

"No, and I don't feel the need to," she said, glaring.

"You'd be surprised with what we can do with our ice," he hinted, continuing to step towards her as she continued to step back.

"I'm not interested," Estella repeated, her heart pounding.

"I didn't know Illyrians were prudes," he scoffed.

     Her back slammed against the wall, and as she looked around, she realized he had cornered her.

"Leave me alone," Estella snarled at him.

      She had no weapons and no shadows, leaving her defenseless. He was a lot bigger than her, but she would fight back with every bit of energy she had. 

     As he advanced on her, she played back every bit of self-defense her brothers had ever taught her, prepared to kick and scream--prepared to fight her way out. 

      But the male never touched her.

     Her focus broke, her head snapping up as the male let out a pained groan. Once her initial shock wore off, she realized he was in the grip of none other than Eris Vanserra.

"I believe the lady said she wasn't interested," he growled at the Winter Court male. "In fact, I believe she said it many times."

"Fuck off; she doesn't know what she wants."

     Eris didn't take kindly to that response. Flames lit from his hands, reducing the male to a shrieking mess beneath him.

     Estella squeezed her eyes shut again, trying to block out the screams, the heat, and the fire. It was as if his screams belonged to her brother again--belonged to her. It felt as though her own hands were the ones on fire.

     She wasn't in that hallway anymore; she was a three-year-old girl, locked in a cell as her older brothers tortured her for no reason other than their own entertainment.

     She was screaming, screaming, screaming as they laughed, as Azriel screamed beside her, not able to help her in his own pained state.

"Estella," she heard. "Estella!"

     When she opened her eyes, it was just Eris in front of her, and his fire was gone. She didn't know what he did with the male, but she didn't have it in her to care. 

     Eris approached Estella, extending a hand, but the girl flinched away, a quiet squeak escaping her lips as the image of that fire replayed in her mind.

"Don't touch me," Esetlla begged, still feeling the heat radiating from his hand.

"I just saved your ass; a thank you would be nice," he scoffed at her, his hand retreating.

"I had it under control," Estella sneered, standing up straight and smoothing down her dress.

"Oh, is that what that was?" he scoffed.

"You're such an asshole," Estella glared, infuriated that he thought she needed to be saved. She was a spymaster, for Cauldron's sake. 

"When I see another male putting his hands on my mate while she's telling him to stop, I react quite harshly," he snarled, fire in his amber eyes. "I apologize."

"Mate," she repeated with a scoff. "I haven't accepted the bond."

"You haven't rejected it either," he mused, straightening. "And why is that, Estella?"

     Estella narrowed her eyes, unable to find an answer. She didn't know. She had no idea why she hadn't rejected the bond yet.

"I believe it's because you find me quite attractive," he taunted, his eyes stripping her bare. "And you're curious."

"Curious about what?" Estella demanded.

"About what I could do to you," he smirked. "How I could ruin you."

     Estella's breath hitched in her throat as he towered over her. She did find him attractive. She had since the moment she first laid eyes on him.

"So what if I am," she admitted, her cheeks flushed.

     A taunting smile spread across his face, and as she stared at it, his lips collided with hers.

     She was slammed against the wall by the force of his body. His hands cupped her face as his tongue slipped into her mouth. She kissed him back, arms wrapping around his neck.

     He picked her up, and her legs wrapped around his hips. Neither of them pulled away from the kiss as he carried her to what she could only assume was his chambers.

     He slammed the door behind him, quickly throwing up a ward to keep sound in, and the door locked. Estella ripped his shirt off, buttons flying through the room as she tore it from his body.

     He snarled, throwing her onto his bed, the force making her whimper. But she looked up at those beautiful eyes, full of wild lust. He was usually so put together--so restrained. But it seemed his restraint had snapped.

     Eris got onto the bed, sitting above Estella as she lay there, staring up at him with anticipation. His hands began bunching her dress up; then he slid her underthings down. He lifted her skirts so he could get a full view of her.

"So beautiful," he breathed, taking her in. She whimpered, her face flushing.

     He wasted no time, his fingers finding that perfect spot and rubbing circles on it. She moaned, throwing her head back and relaxing as she spread her legs wider.

     She had only been with Illyrian males, so foreplay was foreign to her. Of course, she knew what it was. She'd read of it, and females talked. But she'd never experienced it.

     Most Illyrians didn't care much about female pleasure. Though, none she had been with were forceful or cruel. Even her first love, Marcus, who had manipulated her and broken her heart, never physically hurt her.

     The Illyrians she'd been with after Marcus were kind males. But it was in their nature to be impatient, selfish lovers. She'd only been brought pleasure a handful of times by them.

     Two of Eris's fingers slid inside of her, and she mewled beneath him, grinding her hips against his hand.

"I didn't realize what a whore you were," he sneered at her.

     She hated the way her core clenched around his fingers at the words. She hated that her body betrayed her, letting him know precisely how aroused the degradation made her.

     She sensed she was nearing her peak, her eyes rolling back as she whimpered, almost crying from ecstasy.

"You gonna cum on my fingers, you filthy fucking slut?" he asked her. She could only nod, getting off on his words. 

     He smirked, withdrawing his fingers, leaving her core clenching around nothing as her release escaped her.

"Eris!" Estella cried, sitting up and supporting herself on her elbows, wings twitching behind her.

"The first time I make you cum, it will be on my cock," he declared, dragging his thumb across her lower lip.

"Then hurry the fuck up," Estella glared.

     He narrowed his eyes, then forced his ring and middle finger into her mouth, making her suck her release off of them.

"Don't speak to me like that," he warned. "Or you won't be cumming at all."

     He withdrew his fingers from her mouth, meeting her glare, then started to unbuckle his belt, lowering his pants and taking his cock out of them. 

     She couldn't help but stare, finding it was bigger than she expected. Not as big as an Illyrian male, but certainly bigger than the average High Fae male. 

     Her breath hitched as he pinned her down to the bed, dragging his cock up and down her folds.

"Eris," she whispered, desperation heating in her lower stomach. "Oh, Eris."

"I'm gonna fuck every thought out of that pretty little head of yours," he uttered into her ear. She moaned, her back arching. "Till you're reduced to nothing but a stupid, little whore."

"Just fuck me," she grunted in frustration, sick of him dragging himself up and down.

     He chuckled, then sunk into her cunt. She cried out in pleasure, her sharp nails digging into his back--into what felt like scars on them. But even as curiosity got to her, she knew now wasn't the time to ask. He let out a harsh breath but didn't tell her to stop.

     He picked up the pace, fucking her more brutally than she expected. She whined, wrapping her legs around his waist, which made him hit a new spot inside of her. A spot she didn't even know existed. But it made her see stars.

"Such a tight cunt," he praised. "Feels fucking incredible."

"Harder," Estella gasped out.

"Beg," he instructed. She would usually never be reduced to begging, but she needed it so badly.

"Please, Eris, fuck me harder," she pleaded.

     He snarled in approval, slamming into her at a harder pace. His hand groped her breast, still covered by her dress. The other hand began pressing circles onto her clit, making her gasp.

     One of her hands remained on his back, the other trailed up to his hair, intertwining with his red locks.

"Gonna cum, Eris," Estella told him, barely able to think with how hard he was fucking her.

"Let go for me," he instructed.

     And she did, screaming his name as she climaxed, her cunt pulsing hard on his cock, and her nails digging into his back hard enough to draw blood.

     He spilled into her just a second later, making her cry out in pleasure, her legs locked around him tight, forcing him deeper into her.

     When they both came down, she found herself breathless beneath him as he hovered over her.

     The second her pleasure had faded completely, she came back to reality. She had just fucked Eris Vanserra. The male her entire family hated more than anything. And he was her mate.

"This won't happen again," Estella declared.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Year 14
Year Under the Mountain: 10

     It was Estella's tenth Starfall under the mountain.

     It killed her that she couldn't be above ground, watching in the Night Court. And since Amarantha loved to torment Rhys on this specific day, she couldn't even spend time with him. It churned her gut, knowing what Amarantha was doing to him at that precise moment, her cruel way of ruining his favorite day of the year.

     Being trapped Under the Mountain only reminded Estella of the cell where she'd spent the first six years of her life. And in the hour she was let out of the cell, she was rarely allowed to go outside. On rare occasions, she was permitted sunlight, but it was always late afternoon.

      Six years without seeing a sunrise, a sunset, the stars, or the moon. She never thought she'd have to go so long without the sky again. But here, in the mountain, she'd gone even longer.

     Estella remembered the first time she'd seen the stars. She was six years old, and Selene had just rescued her from her father's keep. Azriel had been staying with them for a week, but Selene had come for Estella when she learned the conditions she was being kept in.

     Estella didn't talk, had never spoken a word in her entire life, and wouldn't for another five years. But Selene did everything she could to get the little girl to open up.

     After a few hours of trying to get Estella to let Selene hold her, she took Estella's scarred hand, cooing comforts when the girl flinched. She led Estella outside and told her to look at the sky.

     Her tears stopped when she saw the Night Court sky filled with the most beautiful stars. She gasped, her eyes wide as she took in the view. Finally, she let Selene pick her up, and she stared in wonder.

"I am going to take care of you, little one," Selene said. "You will never suffer again."

     Estella still held those words close to her heart. Even long after Selene had died, she hadn't suffered since, at least, not as horrifically as she had as a child.

     Estella's first Starfall had been special. While it could be seen from all of the Night Court, Selene insisted that the best view was in Velaris. It was Estella's first time visiting the City of Starlight.

     Selene had sat Estella in her lap, the two of them sitting on the balcony of the House of Wind. Her brothers ran around under the stars, laughing and playing. But she just watched the stars shoot through the sky, feeling safe in Selene's arms.

     Estella sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes as she stared at her bedroom ceiling, reminiscing on better Starfalls. She couldn't even bring herself to go to the party tonight.

     The door swung open unexpectedly, causing Estella to flinch as she dabbed away tears from her eyes.

     Estella met Eris's harsh gaze, but before she could think, he had slammed the door behind him and was on top of her. 

     She decided to allow the distraction, not wanting to think about her family any longer.

     Something was bothering him. She knew by the way he entered, not bothering with a greeting. She knew from the slight furrow of his brow, the unusual messiness of his red locks, and the fire in his eyes. She hated that she'd learned to read him so well.

     Eris pinned her wrists above her head with one hand, his other creeping under her skirt. He hummed in approval when he noticed that she was bare beneath it.

"No underthings? Were you waiting for me?" he murmured into her ear.

"No, I was expecting another male," Estella uttered from beneath him, wanting only to rile him up. "He's from the Dawn Court and quite handsome."

     Estella's words worked, a growl leaving his lips as he wrapped his free hand around her throat. She gasped, mouth opening slightly as he squeezed.

"I don't know if you think you're being brave by provoking me, but all I see is a dumb fucking whore, trying to get herself punished," he snapped.

     She gasped for air as he let go of her neck, her head go light in a way that made her feel euphoric.

     Eris was rough from the start, fucking her so brutally. She could tell he was upset about something and was taking his frustration out on her.

     Estella found that she didn't mind. Eris was an arrogant prick. But despite his craving for cruelty, Estella knew that if she ever asked him to stop or be gentler with her, he would listen. He wouldn't hurt her. Over the past decade, she had learned that.

     It was not that she had grown to trust or care for him, but knowing she was safe with him was a small comfort.

     She tried to control the cries leaving her lips as he fucked her, but he was drilling into her so hard, she couldn't. She cried out from under him, his cock hitting the deepest parts of her.

"Eris," Estella whined, trying to rip her wrists from his grip so she could touch him. But he held tight, snarling at her attempt.

     Eris only went harder, deeper, if possible. And as she became a mewling mess of sobs under him, his stress seemed to disappear.

"If you want to cum, you better start begging," he warned her.

"Please, Eris, please," Estella begged. 

     She was used to the degrading act he made her perform every time, and she hated to admit that she loved it.

"You want to cum?" he taunted her.

"Yes, Eris, please let me," she sobbed, still fighting against his firm grip.

"Then go ahead," he granted.

     They came together, just as they always did. She assumed their bodies were so in tune due to the mating bond. The mating bond that she tried to ignore. But it was hard when she was spending so much time with him. Fucking him. It made that bond in her chest sing. And she hated that. She hated him.

     When the pleasure was done, he sat up, pulling his trousers back up. She pushed her skirt back down and sighed, suddenly remembering what she was trying to forget.

     Her family—the one she was betraying by sleeping with the cruel male before her. The realization hit her hard, and she broke down in tears.

     Eris froze in the doorway, slowly turning to face her. She couldn't read the expression on his face, but she was sure it was judgment. He'd likely never cried a day in his life.

"Are you . . . " he trailed off, scoffing at himself as if he couldn't believe what he was about to say. "Are you alright?"

"What's it to you?" Estella sniffled, trying to wipe the pathetic tears from her eyes.

"I just fucked you, and now you're crying," he pointed out, striding over to the bed. "I'd like to know if I caused this."

"No," Estella denied, shaking her head. "I just . . . I miss my family. That's all."

"Lovely to know you're thinking about your family after sex," he taunted. She groaned at him, pulling her knees to her chest.

"I was thinking about them before you came in," Estella admitted, hiding her face in her knees. "It's Starfall tonight. A wonderful holiday back in the Night Court. And it makes me think of them."

     She didn't understand why she was confiding in him. It dawned on her that there was no one else she could reach out to. She was genuinely yearning for companionship.

"Do you fly?" he asked quietly. Estella glanced up, meeting his amber gaze.

"What?"

"Your wings," he said, gesturing to them. "Do you fly?"

"Yes," Estella said, nodding. "I love to fly."

"Being stuck down here, unable to fly," he mused, glancing around the desolate room. "That must be miserable."

"It is," Estella admitted with a shrug. "But nothing compared to what my fellow Illyrian females have had to endure."

"What do you mean?" 

"Illyrian females get their wings clipped when they come of age," Estella explained. "I was fortunate. Rhys's mother took me in at a young age and protected me. She saved my wings. But I've always felt guilty for it. And I won't fly if I'm in Illyria. It feels cruel. As if I'm rubbing it in the faces of the clipped females."

"And Rhysand allows this?" he bristled. Estella felt a surge of anger at him for assuming the worst of her brother.

"No," she denied. "He outlawed it as soon as he became High Lord, but it still happens. Though not as often. But with him being down here for so long, I can only imagine it will pick up again."

"You lesser fae can be barbaric," he scoffed.

"Us?" Estella demanded, sneering at him. "You High Fae are worst of all. You're the ones who kept humans and lesser fae as slaves."

"I never kept any slaves," he denied. "Even before the war."

"So you speak for all High Fae?" Estella snapped. "You are still a cruel bastard, slave keeper or not."

"Is that why you let me fuck you?" he demanded, seeming irked by her words.

"I don't know why I allow it," she confessed, scoffing. "It's desperation from being so lonely down here. And it's the mating bond betraying me."

"What cruel fate to be mated to such a cruel bastard," he sneered.

"It is a cruel fate!" Estella snipped, glaring at him. "What luck that I am mated to the male who left my cousin bleeding out in the forest, left her to die!"

     He was on his feet in an instant, a snarl ripped from his throat.

"We are done with this conversation," he declared as he reached the door.

"Good."

Chapter Text

Year 19
Year 15 Under the Mountain

     Attending a ball was the last thing on Estella's mind, especially after what had happened at the last one she'd attended.

     There was one tonight, and she'd decided she wouldn't go. Rhys wouldn't be there, anyway. Seeing Rhys was the only reason she ever attended Amarantha's festivities. Even if she couldn't always speak with him, just a glimpse of him made it worth it.

     Things had been tense between her and Eris in the last five years. Of course, they were both used to fighting. They were always fighting. Yet, despite the intensity of their arguments, the fling between them persisted.

     Estella was currently on her way to his bedroom. He was a nice distraction; that was all he was. She wasn't sure why she couldn't find a nice distraction with any other male. Estella and Eris had nearly two decades of history. That made things easier. Knowing that neither of them owed the other anything.

     When she arrived, she found his bedroom empty. She huffed, checking the clock on the wall. He had told her he'd be back by now. 

     So Estella plopped down onto his bed, breathing in his scent, then scolded herself when she realized she was savoring it.

     The door swung open, and she sat up to welcome him, pausing in shock when she locked eyes with another female.

      The Lady of Autumn stood in the doorway, her russet eyes wide. Her red hair, which fell down her shoulders, was almost lifeless. She was much too thin, and her face was gaunt.

     Estella flushed a deep red, hurriedly scrambling from Eris's bed.

"Oh, dear, I apologize," she said quietly, her voice meeker than Estella expected. "I was looking for my son."

"No, my Lady, I'm sorry," Estella stammered, curtsying clumsily. "This . . . this isn't what it looks like, I was just looking for him, I'm so sorry--"

"No need for that," she assured Estella, a slight smile on her lips. It looked out of place for her and didn't reach her eyes. "I will come back later."

     Just as she was making to leave, Eris came strolling into the room. He seemed almost carefree until he took in the view before him. His amber eyes widened, flitting from Estella to his mother, then back.

     He cleared his throat awkwardly, shooting Estella a look before turning to his mother.

"Mother, I--"

"I don't want to know, Eris," she told her son. "We'll talk about it later."

"Don't tell--"

"I won't." 

     With that, she was gone.

     Estella loosed a breath of relief, collapsing headfirst onto his bed. He closed the door behind him, making a point to lock it.

"That was humiliating," Estella grumbled into his pillow.

"Agreed," he said, sitting beside her. "But she won't tell anybody."

"Does she know that we're--" she trailed off, usually not speaking the word 'mate' out loud.

"No," he admitted, shaking his head just once. "Nobody knows."

"I haven't told anybody, either," Estella said.

"I figured," he scoffed. "Your brothers would've strung me up by now if they knew." She couldn't entirely disagree.

"Well, I think the mood has officially been ruined," Estella declared, sitting up and making to leave.

"Wait," he said. Estella froze, turning her attention to him. "The ball tonight. Come with me."

"No."

"Why not?" he mused with a carefree smile. "I have nobody to go with. Might as well be you."

"I'm flattered," Estella glared.

"Besides, Amarantha is hosting a meeting with the High Lords during the ball," he reminded her. "Your brother and my father won't be there."

"Your brothers--"

"Will be too drunk to see straight," he assured her. "The ballroom beside it will be empty. We would still be able to hear the music. Then, we'd be alone."

"Why do you want to go with me so badly?" Estella demanded.

"Old time's sake," he shrugged. "Who knows, maybe dancing together again will reverse the mating bond." She snorted.

"Fine," Estella sighed. "But only because I miss music and dance."

"We'll meet at eight," he declared. 

»»————-　♔　————-««

     Estella couldn't believe how nervous she was as she got ready. Rhys had supplied her with some money, so she bought a new ballgown from the seamstress who lived in the room beside hers.

     The dress was made of Night Court colors. A deep violet gown with a flowing skirt and a tight, strapless bodice. One that showed off her breasts in a way she knew would drive Eris wild.

     Mostly, she was looking forward to hearing the orchestra. She loved music, and she always had.

     When she was very little, she'd once broken away from Azriel during her time out of the cell.

     She had run amuck around the house until she found herself in a room. It looked unused, with white sheets covering the furniture. But on a side table, there was a symphonia.

     She hadn't known what it was at the time, so she'd messed with it until it began playing music. She had gasped, sitting beside it and listening.

     By the time her hour was up, Azriel had found her. He'd scolded her for going upstairs as he dragged her back to the cell. The upstairs was strictly forbidden for both of them.

     But she did it again. She found herself in that room nearly every day for months, listening to the music.

     Until the day her stepmother had found her. The lashings the female had bestowed upon the little girl, plus the beating she had gotten from her father, had been severe enough to keep her from going upstairs ever again.

     Noticing little Estella's distress over the lost music, Azriel started singing to soothe her. 

     After they both moved to Windhaven, her new family had trouble connecting with her. She was shy and didn't speak, so they all went to Azriel for advice. He had told them she loved music, jokes, and stories.

     Selene told Estella stories, and she loved them, especially the ones about Selene and Estella's mother from when they were girls together. 

      After his training, Cassian made it his mission to make her laugh daily. He told her jokes and delighted in hearing her laughter. 

     Selene also taught Estella to play the small piano in the sitting room. Estella also loved listening to Selene play.

     Over the years, she became a very skilled pianist. Her brothers always said she should've made a career out of it, but she didn't want it to become a job. She loved it simply for the art.

     Every time they went to Velaris, Selene took all of them to the symphony. From the first time when Estella was seven, she fell in love. 

     But after Selene died, they all struggled to return. It wasn't until decades after her death that they all decided she would've wanted them to attend and enjoy it for her.

     So years later, every year on the day Selene died, the family would all attend the symphony in her memory. And the Velaris orchestra always dedicated the music to her on that specific night.

     Estella stared at herself in the mirror. She had lost weight, just as everyone had under here. They were kept from starvation, but Amarantha made sure none of them were well fed. She only supplied food at her parties.

     Her skin had taken on a lighter tone, yet it still glowed with the rich undertones of her Illyrian heritage. It had been a long time since she'd basked in the sun's warmth.

     Despite that, she looked beautiful in her dress. Her hair was curled, her makeup simple.

     Estella looked just like her mother when her hair was curled. She missed the female so dearly. She hoped Azriel was visiting her regularly and her mother wasn't too worried about her.

     Thoughts of her mother kept her distracted from the nerves as she strolled through the corridors to the ballroom.

     She fidgeted with her scarred hands, trying not to chew on her lower lip and ruin her red lipstick.

     Estella carefully snuck into the empty ballroom beside the one buzzing with life and music. She was good at blending into the shadows, so nobody noticed when she slipped into the other room.

     Eris was already there, looking fine in his maroon suit. He turned, his amber eyes meeting hers. The breath loosed from her throat at the sight of him. He was so incredibly handsome. It still shocked her.

     She could hear the music playing from the other room. She closed her eyes for a moment, indulging in the notes. The beauty of music always relaxed her.

     When she opened her eyes, Eris reached out his hand to her. Estella curtsied and took it.

"You clean up nice," he commented.

     Estella rolled her eyes, placing her other hand on his shoulder as his went to her waist. And she began to dance.

"Wish I could say the same of you," Estella lied.

"Is that why your heart skipped a beat when you saw me?" he taunted her with a smirk. "Interesting."

"You're a prick," she mumbled. He only grinned, spinning her.

     Eris was an excellent dancer. She could keep up with him, but her skill paled in comparison.

"Where did you learn to dance properly?" he asked her.

"What?" Estella demanded, making a sour face.

"I wouldn't think a bastard would be taught to dance," he explained. She only glared.

"Rhysand taught me," she admitted. "When I was ten."

     Selene had gotten her a symphonia, and Rhys taught her to dance with it. He saw her jealousy of him going to important High Lord balls, so he taught her.

     He had been thirteen but tall for his age. And Estella had been ten and small for hers. So she stood on his feet, reaching up to hold onto him.

     He began taking Estella as his date to every ball as she got older. It was one of the reasons he had taken her to the masquerade with him.

     He knew she thought badly of herself, being so low-born. So he did his best to make her feel special.

     He was never embarrassed to bring his little sister as his date, even after he became High Lord. He said he loved seeing her face light up, and it always did when she entered the ball on his arm.

"He taught you well," he complimented. "You dance just fine for a bastard."

"You don't need to follow up a compliment with an insult every time," Estella said to him, exasperated.

"I'm a cruel bastard, remember?" he scoffed. "What else would you expect?"

"Despite what I may have said five years ago," Estella began. "I do not believe you are as cruel as you pretend to be."

"You don't?" he hummed.

"Rhysand wears a mask," she said. "Everyone thinks him cruel. But he isn't. I think it's the same with you."

"Why would you possibly think that?"

"You invited me here tonight," Estella shrugged. "You've been a prick but never cruel to me. You respect my boundaries in bed. You treat your mother well. You didn't turn me in when you found me spying in your court."

"We made a bargain," he reminded her.

"Even without the bargain, looking back, I doubt you would've turned me in," Estella mused. "I didn't know it back then, but now . . . "

"You think you know me now," he murmured.

"Yes, I do," Estella confirmed. "Don't think this means anything. I still despise you, Vanserra."

"I would be concerned if you didn't," he stated, dipping her.

     This time, no bond snapped as she stared up into his eyes. But that bond in her chest sang.

Chapter Text

Year 24 
Year 20 Under the Mountain

     It had been quite a while since Estella found herself covered in someone else's blood.

     But after she'd been cornered by that Winter Court male all those years ago, she had begged Rhysand for some weapon to defend herself. He provided her with a dagger that she kept sheathed at her thigh beneath the skirts of her dresses.

     She had sensed the male before she heard him, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end as he snuck up on her in the dark corridors. Without her shadows, she had been forced to train her intuition, which had improved tremendously. And she could feel his presence.

     She had reached for her dagger, quickly spinning on her heel and burying the blade in his face. Right at the bridge of his nose. He had let out a shattering cry, a hand flying to his face. And she retrieved her dagger and ran.

"If you're aiming to kill, go for the neck," Azriel had once told her. "But if you just want to shock and disarm them, go for the face. Nobody expects you to stab them in the face."

     She ran--ran as fast as she could. She didn't even know where she was running until she found herself at Eris's door. She'd been there not even four hours ago, but here she was again.

      She didn't even knock before letting herself in. Eris was sprawled out on his bed, curly red locks in his face as he read a book. His tunic revealed the top of his perfect chest, and his pants hugged his muscular legs so nicely.

"Already back for more--" he began smugly, but the smirk was wiped from his face when he met her eyes. "What in the Cauldron's name happened to you?"

"I stabbed a male," Estella managed.

     The bloody dagger fell from her hand and clattered against the hard floor, splattering the red substance across it.

     Eris was on his feet in a second, his book forgotten on the bed. He rushed to her side, gripping her shoulders and pulling her into the room. Then, he closed the door carefully behind her.

"What did he do to you?" Eris snarled, his hands still on her shoulders as he took her in.

"Nothing," she said, staring past him at the wall. "I didn't give him the chance."

"Is he dead?"

"No," Estella replied, swallowing a lump in her throat. "I stabbed him in the face."

"In the face?" Eris snapped, amber eyes going wide.

"Nobody expects you to stab them in the face," Estella numbly repeated her brother's words.

"Who is he?" Eris demanded with a growl. "I will kill him, Estella."

"I don't know," she murmured. "I ran before I could see him very well."

     Eris sighed, his hand coming up from her shoulder to cup her face. He'd be different--more gentle lately. Things, in general, had been different between the two of them in the last five years. Since the ball, when she admitted that she didn't think he was cruel.

     Neither of them had acknowledged the change, but there was more trust between the two of them. More affection. More care. It wasn't just rough sex anymore. It didn't mean she had fallen in love with him, but she didn't quite despise him anymore, either.

"I'll run you a bath," he mumbled.

      She nodded, grateful, as he slipped away, off to his bathroom. She let loose a breath, shock still keeping her from fully comprehending what was happening.

     When Eris emerged again, he came to her side, leading her to the bathroom. She glanced down at the bath, then at Eris, whose brow was furrowed with concern.

"I don't know what he wanted to do to me, Eris," Estella whispered, her voice trembling. "I stabbed him before he--"

"Good," Eris cut her off. "Good that you stabbed him before you could find out."

     Estella nodded, staring off into space.

"Do you need help?" he asked her. She shook her head. "Fine. I'll lay out one of my tunics for you." 

"Wings," she reminded him. 

"Oh, right," he recalled, sighing. "Then just wrap yourself in a towel, and I'll make sure your dress is cleaned of all the blood."  

     Estella thanked him quietly, and he left her alone. She shed her clothes and climbed into the hot tub. She didn't have it in her to relax. Instead, she scrubbed at the blood on her scarred hands and the splatters on her face. Scrubbed until the water was tinted orange.

     When she got out, she dried off, brushed her hair with her fingers, and wrapped her body in a towel, the back dipping under the base of her wings. 

     She found Eris in his bed again when she came out of the bathroom, and she didn't say a word to him before going to his side. She decided that she couldn't stand to be alone. So she climbed into his bed, laying herself on top of him.

     Eris tensed at the motion, asking, "Are you alright? This is strange." 

     While affection had been more common between the two, they hadn't ever been this affectionate. But she needed comfort; she needed company. And Rhys was never around. Not that that was his fault. But Eris was all she had.

"I don't feel so well," Estella said to him.

     At those words, his arms wrapped around her, holding her to him. She nuzzled her face under his chin, comforted by the warmth of his body.

»»————-　♔

      Eris was more than shocked when Estella crossed the room in nothing but a towel and collapsed on top of him. But once he overcame the initial shock, he realized it felt right.

     So he held her. He held her until she fell asleep, wrapped in his arms. Then, he held her closer.

     For a Spymaster who killed for a living, she had been so shaken up by the incident. She had been trembling, her eyes so distant, her face numb. And he wanted nothing more than to kill the male that had tried to hurt her.

     He had been trying to avoid admitting to himself that he was beginning to care for her. But honestly, he was. He understood he couldn't let himself love her.

     When his mother had walked in to find Estella in his room five years ago, she had certainly berated him for it.

"That girl is beloved by all the males in the Night Court that quite dislike you," she had reminded him. "Eris, you are smart. You know better." 

     Not to mention what his father would do to Estella and how he would use her against him if he ever found out. 

     Eris couldn't. He couldn't love her.

     But it was so hard not to. It was so hard when she was asleep on his chest, breathing softly when she had come to him first after such a distressing experience.

      Just this morning, she had been insatiable. She'd sucked him off, then let him fuck her until she was nearly shrieking with pleasure. And only four hours later, she'd shown up trembling.

      He was furious at the thought of any male even thinking of laying a hand on her. He wished she could've at least remembered his face so he could rip the male apart, limb by limb.

     But for now, knowing she was safe was enough.

Chapter Text

     Estella sometimes visited Eris late at night when she couldn't sleep. She only did this when she could sense his thoughts buzzing around in his restless head, and she knew he was also awake. She didn't disrupt him when he was sleeping peacefully, though that was rare.

     She would hide her dagger beneath her skirts, throw a shawl over her shoulders, and pinch her cheeks to add color before leaving. She didn't want him to see her looking entirely exhausted.

     The stroll down the corridors was anything but peaceful, especially at night. But she couldn't winnow without her shadows, and flying would only bring attention to herself.

     But she had a weapon, and she was ready to strike. She never did see that male again, the one she stabbed in the face. She still wasn't sure why she panicked so much when she had spent centuries doing the same thing.

     Maybe it was the implication of what he had wanted to do to her, whereas the males she had killed in the past had been assigned to her. They were not after her directly, not until she began targeting them.

     But Eris had been a comfort. He had held her all night, which had surprised them both, it seemed. Since then, he had become softer with her. She found that she didn't mind that.

     Estella liked seeing his softer side. She felt special like she was the only one that got to see him that way. Then, she would scold herself for feeling like that. He was a Vanserra, for Cauldron's sake. She wasn't allowed to feel that way.

"Estella," the voice said, causing her to freeze. Her eyes jumped from the tile in front of her to the source of the sound.

     Rhys stood with his brows furrowed, taking her in. He was looking worse every time she saw him. His skin had gone pale, his face gaunt, and he'd lost a significant amount of weight and muscle. His violet eyes had lost the life they used to have in them.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked her, his voice quieter than usual.

"I couldn't sleep," Estella said honestly. "I needed to go for a walk; get my mind off things."

"In this part of the Mountain? At this time of night?" he doubted, raising a brow. She shrugged, doing everything she could not to crumble under his assessing gaze.

"It's not as cold out here as it is in my bedroom," she said quietly, staring at the floor.

"You have a fireplace," he reminded her.

     Her head snapped up, and she shot him a look, one that reminded him she would not touch a fireplace with a ten-foot pole. His gaze softened just slightly.

"Let's go back to your room," he decided. "I'll light the fire for you."

"Rhys, I'm fine," she insisted, glancing at the path she was taking to Eris's room.

"We're going back to your room, Stella," he repeated in a way that let her know he wasn't asking.

     She didn't argue; she just followed him as he took hold of her arm and led her the opposite way from where she was heading. She grumbled to herself, irritated at her brother's constant, overprotective antics.

     She felt a shiver go through her body when she returned to her bedroom. It was utterly freezing in her quarters, and she knew Amarantha did that purposefully.

     Estella sat on the bed, wrapping the shawl tighter around her shoulders. Rhys went to the fireplace, kneeling before it. She watched as he placed a few pieces of wood in it and lit the fire.

"Thank you," she said softly.

     He nodded, getting to his feet. He came over to her, ruffling her hair affectionately.

"I love you, little shadow," he said.

     Estella smiled softly, knowing it didn't reach her eyes. Rhys leaned down and kissed the top of her head, then left her alone, wrapped in her shawl and shivering.

     Even with the fire going, she couldn't sleep. The cold was bitter, and even though she was Illyrian, she was sensitive to it. She remembered being a little girl in that cell and how cold it was. She would curl up in her brother's arms, her entire body trembling, trying to stay warm. It was never any use. The rags they wore were always ripped, short-sleeved, and made of thin material.

"Are you still awake?" Estella asked Eris through the bond, hating that she was craving his comfort. It took a moment for his reply to come through, but it did.

"Yes. Where are you? I thought you were on your way."

     He sounded irritated, making her roll her eyes, but she answered anyway. "Rhys found me in the corridors, and he made me go back to my room."

"How old does he think you are?"

"I'll never be older than six to him.  You'll have to come here."

"I wasn't planning on leaving my room tonight," he drawled.

"Too bad," Estella responded. "Get over here as soon as you can."

     Eris didn't argue with that, though his side of the bond went silent. She spent the next ten minutes wondering if he would show at all. She didn't want to beg, but she certainly wasn't above it.

     However, she found that there was no need for that when her door opened. Eris looked tired, and Estella didn't blame him. She knew he hadn't been sleeping lately. Neither of them had. It was hard in a place like the Mountain.

"It's freezing in here," he murmured as he closed the door behind him. 

     He glanced at the flickering fire, waving his hand. The flames leaped higher and glowed brighter, making Estella flinch. "It's fine. It'll warm up the room faster."

"I want you to warm me up," Estella hinted, sitting up and letting her shawl drop from her shoulders. A smirk fell upon his features, one that made her want him even more.

     He stepped over to her bed in very few strides, crawling on top of the girl. She laid back down, smiling as he hovered over her, his hands on either side of her head.

     His lips met her jaw, peppering kisses, leaving her sighing softly beneath him. He trailed down her neck slowly, stopping in her most sensitive spots to suck just slightly, leaving her with marks she knew she would spend the next week concealing. 

     His teeth closed around the strap of her dress, pulling it down from her shoulder to her arm. She helped him get the dress off her, but it wasn't much of a struggle.

     When she was bare beneath him, he sat up, fumbling with his belt as he pulled his cock out of his pants. It was rare that he fully undressed during sex or took his shirt off at all, but she never commented on it.

     He slid a hand down to her core first, rubbing tight circles on her clit with his thumb as he slipped two fingers inside of her. She groaned, biting her lip and squeezing her eyes shut.

"Ready for me so early?" he teased, commenting on the wetness he had found waiting for him. She nodded. "Such a desperate slut."

     Her core clenched at the words, and he pressed one more kiss to her neck before wrapping his arms around her shoulders and flipping her around so she was on top.

"Sit up and ride me," he instructed. "If you want it to bad, take it yourself.”

     Estella pushed herself up, hands braced on his chest, to a sitting position. She took his perfect cock in her hands, pumping it a few times, delighting in the way it twitched in her palm.

     He groaned as she lowered her cunt to him, very slowly sliding down onto his cock. She whimpered at the slight pain she always felt when he bottomed out.

     Estella began riding him, her pace slow at first so she could get used to the fullness—the pain. He grasped her hair in his hand, pulling it forcefully. She whined, staring at the ceiling as her head was forced back, their pace speeding up.

     His other hand came down hard on her ass, a smack sounding through the room. She cried out, more in pleasure than pain, her hand reaching down to rub her clit. He smacked her rear once again, and she knew there'd be marks in the morning.

“Harder, Eris," Estella moaned out, desperate amid her pleasure.

     His hips began jutting up to meet hers, and the smacks to her ass sped up, getting harsher each time.

"You like that, you filthy whore?" he snarled. She could only nod, tears welling in her eyes. "Use your words."

"Yes, I like that, Eris," Estella gasped out, voice breaking between moans.

     He let go of her hair, though a stinging sensation remained at her scalp. He gripped her breasts in his hands, squeezing and kneading them in a way that made her wild.

     Eris loved her breasts, which had been evident since their first time. He often took his time with them, teasing, pinching, and squeezing.

     Estella was getting close, but she needed something more, something she hadn't craved in centuries. She craned her head up, forcing herself to meet his eyes in her pleasure.

"Touch my wings," Estella gasped out.

"What?" he asked through his pants.

"My wings," she repeated, grabbing his wrist.

     She guided his hand directly to that perfect spot on her wing, demonstrating how to touch it.

"Rub small circles," she managed, her eyes squeezing shut at the sensation.

     He obeyed, rubbing circles on her wing, gentle at first.

"Harder."

     He took her command, his movements quickening as he pressed harder on the spot.

"Oh, Gods," Estella cried out, bouncing on his cock, throwing her head back. She hadn't ever felt pleasure so intense. "Please, may I cum?"

“Now?"

“Yes, now, please," she begged. "I can't hold it back."

“Cum, then," he allowed, and she thanked the Cauldron that he was feeling gracious today.

     Estella cried out, cumming harder than she ever had, her core clenching around his cock. The feeling sent him over the edge, and not long after, he released inside of the girl.

     She collapsed on top of him the moment she came down from her heavenly high, fingers clenching his shoulders as her body shuddered from the aftershocks. He was so warm.

"Your wings, huh?" he teased softly into her ear. 

"It's an Illyrian thing," Estella explained through labored breaths.

"Why have you never told me that?" he wondered, quirking a brow. "I've never seen you cum like that before."

"I've only ever let one other male do that," Estella said, rolling off of him and settling under her blanket, still naked. "It's not something I usually allow."

     The first male she'd ever slept with, her first love, Marcus, had been the one to introduce this concept to her. But after he'd broken her heart, she didn't want any males doing it again. Eris, however, was different.

“What makes me so special?" Eris asked her as he tucked his cock back into his pants. 

"I'm not sure," Estella answered honestly. "It just felt right at the moment."

"Can you cum from your wings alone?" he interrogated.

"No," she answered, shaking her head. "There needs to be another form of stimulation."

"Oh, I will have fun with this," he smirked.

     Estella flushed a deep red, almost regretting giving him this information. Almost.

Chapter Text

Year: 34
Year Under The Mountain: 30

     Estella had found herself going into Eris's room when he wasn't around, just to spend her time in it. He would be busy with whatever he did during the day, and she'd sneak in, reading one of his books, or taking a nap in his bed. He'd caught her many times, but he didn't seem to care.

     She had buried herself in his bed, under the covers, savoring his scent that was left behind in the sheets. The scent of cinnamon and bonfire.

     She hid herself further under the blankets as she heard the door open. She pressed her wings down against the bed, since they were too big to fit under the blankets. 

"Are you hiding out in my room again?" he teased, nearing his bed.

"It's warm in here," she defended herself, her voice muffled from all the blankets.

     Eris reached for the covers and yanked them off of her, revealing his mate, who whined, trying to pull the covers back over herself.

"Is this what you do all day?" he mocked her. "Lay in my bed, waiting for me to come back and fuck you?"

"Just sometimes," she flushed. "Your room is nice and warm. Mine is cold."

"I'm aware," he hummed, sitting beside her. He reached a hand out to brush her hair behind her ear. "You know I'm always willing to warm your room up for you." 

"You're never around during the day," she complained. 

"I do have responsibilities, you know," he mused as he stroked her hair.

"I have responsibilities, too," she murmured, narrowing her eyes. 

"Not down here, you don't," he snorted. "Your brother makes sure of that." 

     Estella climbed on top of him, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. Her wings fell over them both like a warm blanket. She breathed in his scent, realizing how familiar it was becoming. She was falling for him, and in the past few years, she'd stopped hating herself for it.

      She pressed herself further into him, and he held her close. She didn't even have a desire for sex; she was much too tired. She just appreciated being held. She had always needed affection to survive, and down here, he was the only one she got it from. 

     Estella had almost fallen asleep when the sound of a door creaking open made her start. She sat up, separating herself from Eris as they both turned to the source of the sound. 

     The Lady of Autumn stood in the doorway, not looking as embarrassed as she had the last time she'd walked in to find Estella in her son's room. This time, she sighed, seeming more irritated than anything else. 

     Her red hair was unbound, falling in waves over her delicate shoulder. Her russet eyes were set on Eris, a fire behind them that Estella had never seen before. 

"Mother," Eris greeted her, his voice lined with panic. "I thought you were--"

"Save it," she snipped, her voice more stern than Estella had ever heard. "You need to meet with your father in ten minutes. He has important news." 

     She eyed Estella, as if she couldn't share any more details with the girl in the room. Estella understood that. She was an outsider, and part of a court that often went head-to-head with the Autumn Court. 

"I'll leave you be," Estella took the hint, carefully getting out of the bed. Eris didn't even glance at her as she made to leave. 

     She curtsied to the female, but the Lady of Autumn reached out, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder to stop her. Estella noticed a dark bruise on her pale wrist, barely covered by her sleeve. 

"No need for that," she reminded Estella. 

     Estella nodded, hastily leaving the room. Her face flushed red when the door closed behind her, an embarrassed huff leaving her lips. 

»»————-　♔

      Eris was not scared of many things, but at the moment, he could not look his mother in the eyes. Estella had left quickly, and once the door had closed, his mother had advanced on him. 

"What did I tell you about her?" she demanded, anger in her voice that he rarely ever heard. 

"It's nothing, Mother--" 

"If her brothers were to find out, you'd be in more trouble with them than you already are," she scolded. "Not to mention, your father--" 

"Father doesn't care who I fuck," Eris retorted. Normally, his mother would've berated him for such language, but she was already beyond that point.

"He cares who you fall in love with," she snapped. Eris went to deny it, but found that he could not. "I've never seen you keep a girl around for this long." 

     Eris finally lifted his head, meeting his mother's russet eyes. He blinked back tears that were welling in his own. His mother was the only person he cried in front of. It wasn't safe to cry around anybody else--especially his father. 

"She's my mate," he whispered, having never told another soul before. 

     Her face fell, her brows furrowing as she processed the three words that had been ringing in his head for decades now. 

"This is bad, Eris," she said softly, studying her son's face. "If your father finds out--" 

"I know," he said, nodding. "Trust me, I know." 

"No, you don't," she shook her head. "You have no idea the things he would do to her. He will make you marry her, and then he'll use her to torture you. That is, after she provides him with an heir. And if she fails to do that--" 

"I understand, Mother," he cut her off, feeling sick to his stomach. 

"I don't think you do," she scoffed. "Because if you did, I would not have found her in your room twice, now." 

"She's my mate, Mother," he repeated, choking down a sob. "I've tried to stay away from her, but I just can't." 

"I know how that feels," she confessed, her face softening as she stroked his cheek. "And I know that it's hard. Trust me, I do. But for her safety, you must." 

»»————-　♔　————-««

     Estella stayed in her cold room for a few hours, wrapping herself in her blanket and shivering. She had decided to give Eris some time and space before contacting him. 

"Is your mother upset at me?" she sent down the bond. 

     For a moment, there was silence, and that made anxiety eat at her stomach. She waited for a few seconds before finally receiving an answer. 

"No," he replied, a short answer. 

"Come over, please," she pleaded with him, no longer ashamed of begging. "My room is freezing." 

     There was another long moment before his response.

"I'll be there soon." 

     Estella could feel that something was wrong. It made her wonder what his mother had said to him. She likely hated the Night Court, just like everybody else did. She had probably heard horror stories about Rhysand, and couldn't stand that her son was associating with his Spymaster. 

     She waited for longer than she expected, about twenty minutes, when she sensed him getting closer. The string in her chest went taut, a sign that he was just behind the door.  

     The door opened, and when she saw him, a weight lifted from her shoulders. She smiled, getting to her feet and approaching him. 

"Are you alright?" she asked him, noticing his slumped shoulders and his red-rimmed eyes. 

"I'm fine," he replied, not meeting her eyes. 

"Eris," she said softly, cupping his cheek in her hand. "Look at me." 

     His eyes flit to hers, his pupils dilating as their eyes met. She lifted onto her toes, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. She pulled away, kissing the tip of his nose affectionately. 

"Come to bed," she murmured. "Warm me up." 

     She led him to the bed, noticing that he wasn't taking the lead as he usually did. She kissed him one more time before lying on the bed. He got on top of her, not saying a word.

     As their lips met, his hands intertwined in her hair, and hers slipped beneath his shirt, sliding up his back. 

     They pulled apart from each other, their breaths mingling. Her fingers mindlessly traced the scars that covered his back, her brows furrowed, and before she realized she was speaking out loud, she whispered, "What happened to you?"

     Eris quickly seized her wrists, pulling her hands away from him. He stood up and turned away from her, adjusting his shirt. 

"I'm sorry," she immediately apologized. "I didn't mean to say it out loud." 

"Of course you didn't," he sneered, his face tinted red. "You don't see me asking about your hands, no matter how repulsive I find them." 

     Estella flinched at the words, at the venom in them. Her lower lip began to tremble, but she bit it, refusing to let him see her cry. 

"Get out," she said quietly. He only scoffed. "Get the fuck out of my room, Eris." Her voice was louder now, angrier. She was on her feet now, pushing him towards the door. 

"Don't touch me," he warned her, flinching away from her. 

"Then leave!" she snapped, pointing at the door. "Get out and don't come back, you asshole!" Her voice was breaking now, her eyes filling with tears. But she didn't care. 

     She shoved him out of the door, and slammed it behind him, locking it for good measure. And then she burst into tears, sliding down the wall until she was sitting on the ground, crying into her hands.

     He was the only male she had ever been with who had never even mentioned her hands. They always brought it up. Asking her what had happened, or saying backhanded things like, 'I expected it to bother me a lot more than it does.'  Or 'They're really not that bad once I got used to them.' Things that were meant to be compliments, but still hurt. 

     But Eris had never brought it up. His gaze had never lingered, he'd never flinched away from her touch, or looked at them in disgust. He treated her like she was normal. And she really appreciated that. To know that the entire time, all of those years, he'd been repulsed. It felt like betrayal. 

»»————-　♔　————-««

Chapter Text

Year: 39
Year Under the Mountain: 35

     Estella spent the next five years avoiding Eris at all costs. Not that it was hard, as her mate was doing the same to her. She missed him—missed being in his arms. She missed the sex, the attention, the affection, and everything that came with it.

     But what he had said to her hit her hard. It had struck a chord so deep in her, bringing back insecurities she thought she had already gotten over. Still, that bond in her chest longed for him. It longed for his embrace.

     Things had been lonely without him. She tried to seek out Rhysand more often, and he did his best to be there for her. But he couldn't always, and she understood that. 

     She was lying in his bed, waiting for him to return from the throne room. Her wings wrapped around her body, her knees pulled to her chest.

     Every day that she ignored the bond in her chest, every time she avoided Eris's gaze, her heart broke a little more.

      He had finally begun growing soft with her. He had been showing her a sweet side of himself. But she had pushed too hard, and his walls had gone back up. He had been cruel, yes, but part of her wondered if she had deserved it.

     Her gaze slowly slid to the door as it creaked open. Rhysand grimaced as he took her in. It was risky not to notify him before seeking him out. She knew that. But she was so lonely.

"What have I told you about--"

"I know, I know," she cut him off with a grumble. "But I really needed company."

"You don't look well," he acknowledged, sitting down next to her. 

"Thanks," she glared, fidgeting with the gloves on her hands.

"You've been wearing gloves a lot lately," he observed as he eyed them. "You used to do that as a teenager, but I thought you got over it."

"It's cold down here," she shrugged, her cheeks flushing.

"Did somebody say something?" he asked gently.

     She didn't meet his eyes as she shook her head, Eris's words replaying through it. He didn't seem to believe her, but he let it go.

"You'll never guess who approached me yesterday," Rhys mused. Estella hummed in response, turning her head to look up at him. "Eris Vanserra."

     It took great effort to school her features, to keep them from revealing everything that was going through her mind. Estella remembered everything Azriel taught her about that, and she kept her face expressionless.

"Really?"

"He wants to make a bargain," he scoffed. "He wants our help killing Beron."

"Oh," Estella said softly, brows furrowing. "In exchange for what?"

"Well, he's no idiot," Rhys said. "He knows that if we get out of this mountain, there will be a war. He's offering to be our ally in the war."

"We could use that," Estella said, sighing deeply. "If we ever get out of here."

"We will, Stella," Rhys assured her, nudging her shoulder with his. "But I told him I'd think about it."

"Do you trust him?" Estella dared to ask, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

"Not in the slightest," Rhys snorted. "But if we make a bargain, he'd be unable to betray us, unless he wanted to die." Estella hid her wince. "And I have to admit, I wouldn't mind seeing Beron in the ground."

"Me neither," she murmured.

"Eris is a cruel snake," Rhys acknowledged with a grimace. "But he's not as cruel as Beron. And while I don't particularly want to see him on the throne, having Beron off of it would be beneficial for all of Prythian."

"Especially the Lady of Autumn," Estella said, thinking of the bruises she saw on the lady's wrist half a decade ago.

"Well, it would be good for her, yes," Rhys nodded. "Eris tries to hide it from everyone, but it's obvious he cares for his mother."

"Yes," Estella agreed, thinking of how fiercely he defended her when Estella brought her up.

     A tug at her chest brought her out of her thoughts. She frowned, cringing at the new sensation. As if someone had a rope around her heart and was yanking on it.

     It was incessant, a sensation she'd never even felt during the highest climaxes with him. He was calling her like a dog, and she hated the feeling.

"I love you, Rhys," Estella said to her brother, sitting up. "Thanks for keeping me company."

     Estella kissed his cheek, and then was out the door. She was fuming as she stormed down the corridors, the string getting tauter as she neared his bedroom.

     She stormed into the room, ready to confront him for the first time in five years. She slammed the door behind her, and let her anger explode down the bond.

"What the fuck was that?" she snapped, hand on her chest.

     Estella was not met with the smirking male she expected.

     No, he was sprawled on his bed, shirt unbuttoned, a nearly empty bottle of wine in his hand. His eyelids were fluttering open and closed, his hair a mess.

"Are you drunk?" she demanded, nearing his bed.

"I want you," he slurred his words, reaching out to grab her hip.

     Estella sighed, taking the bottle from his hand. He verbally protested, but couldn't move fast enough to take it back.

"You're a mess," Estella cringed, wrinkling her nose.

"You're a mess," he shot back, glaring at her.

     She pursed her lips, studying his features. She'd seen him drunk, but never liked this. He'd be furious with himself for seeking her out when he sobered up.

"Come on. Let's get you in the bath," Estella decided, taking pity on him as she tried to help him sit up.

     As she got close to him, he took her face in his hands, trying to kiss her. She yanked away before he could, sending another wave of anger down the bond.

" I want you," he repeated, a slight whine in his voice that she'd never heard before.

"You don't get to do this, Eris," she scolded him. "You don't get to insult me and shut me out for five years, then expect me to fuck you whenever you want me. That's not how this works."

"I didn't mean it," he intoned, the words barely audible. She didn't know what he was referring to, but she took a deep breath, preparing herself. 

"You need a bath. Then bed. Now, come on."

     He grumbled as she helped him to his feet. She assisted him to the bathroom, turning on the hot water to the bathtub.

     He leaned against Estella, kissing her neck. But it wasn't the normal sucking and biting he used to do, the ones that left marks she always had to cover. It was small pecks, sweet kisses, more affectionate than sexual.

     She sighed, deciding to allow it. It had been so long since she'd received affection. He kissed her delicate skin, and she intertwined her fingers with his hair.

     When the tub was full, she gripped his hair and pulled his head off of her. She ignored his groaning, reaching to take his shirt off.

"I can do it myself!" he argued, yanking away from her.

     His limbs flailed as he tried to get out of his shirt, and she bit her lip to keep from laughing. He eventually gave up. Estella stepped forward, and he allowed her to undress him.

     When he was bare, she did not allow her gaze to linger. She helped him into the bathtub, holding onto his hand as he lowered himself into the water.

     Eris's grip lingered on the gloves on Estella's hand. He murmured something under his breath that she didn't quite catch, then slowly slid the glove off. She tried to yank her hand away from him, but his grip was too strong.

     Eris pressed a kiss to her scarred skin, then another, then another. He peppered kisses across the burn scars, and it made her breath hitch.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against her skin. Estella's heart skipped a beat at the words.

"You called them repulsive," Estella said quietly, her voice trembling.

"I lied," he said, then let go of her.

     She stared at him, watching as he washed himself. I lied. Why would he lie about such a thing? Why would he purposely hurt her like that?

     When Eris was done with his bath, she helped him dry off, got him into a robe, and led him back to his bed.

"Lie on your side," she instructed as she helped him into the bed. He obeyed, to her surprise. "Good." She went to stand up, but he placed a hand on her wrist.

"Don't leave, 'Stel," he whispered. "It's been so long since I've heard your voice."

"That's your own fault, and you know it," Estella replied, raising a brow at him.

"Stay," he pleaded. "Please."

     She never heard him use the word please. It caught her off guard. Had five years without her really turned him so soft?

"I'll stay until you fall asleep," she decided. "But no longer."

     He nodded, closing his eyes. Estella watched him closely as he drifted off, and once he was asleep, she found herself unable to leave his side.

»»————-　♔　————-««

     Estella did not get a wink of sleep. She spent the entire night watching her mate as he dozed off, sleeping deeper than she thought he ever had. She'd watched him sleep before, and he had never looked so peaceful.

     He groaned before he even opened his eyes, alerting Estella that he was waking. He grunted, his eyes squinting at her.

"It's been so long since I've woken with you beside me," he mumbled, blinking furiously against the light.

"You're the one that screwed that up, so don't complain," she replied swiftly. He grimaced, but didn't deny it. "Do you remember anything about last night?"

"Bits and pieces," he admitted. "I remember tugging the bond for you. I remember you putting me in the bath. Nothing after that."

"I put you to bed after that. Nothing more," she informed him. "And you do not get the tug the bond for me. I am not a dog."

"I was drunk," he defended himself.

"I'm well aware," she scoffed. "You were acting ridiculous."

"I apologize for that," he replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Yes, you apologized for a lot last night," she admitted, crossing her arms. He glanced over at her, his brow furrowing.

"I am sorry," he said. "For what I said."

"You told me it was a lie," she recalled, her back stiffening. "But you didn't elaborate."

"It was," he confessed quietly. "I've never found a single part of you repulsive."

      The words slithered their way into her heart, and made her shoulders slump with a bit of relief.

     But she didn't allow herself to throw her body onto his and kiss every inch of his face, no matter how much she wanted to. She had more self respect than that. Even if he had lied, he had still hurt her intentionally. And she needed to knownwhy.

"Then why would you say that?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"I was trying to drive you away," he explained. "For your own safety."

"My own safety?" she demanded, her brow quirking. "That's all?"

"That's all?" he repeated, sitting upright. "If my father found out you're my mate—"

"I know," she snapped. "I've heard the stories of Jesiminda."

"It would be worse than that," he scoffed, shaking his head. "Jesiminda was not Lucien's mate. You . . . he will make you marry me, then he will use you to control and punish me. If I step a toe out of line, he will torture you for it and make me watch. He will force you to bear my children, whether you want to or not. And if you are unable to provide them within a timely manner, then he will kill you. Slowly and painfully."

      Estella processed the words, considering if she was willing to risk that for him. And she found that when she recalled how numb and lonely she was without him, it was worth it.

"I don't scare easy," she said. "Besides, my brother would never let that happen."

"Then there would be a war for you," he said. "Autumn against Night."

"We will keep it a secret," she decided.

"My mother already knows—"

"Then, we will be more careful."

"We can't guarantee anything," he pointed out. "We could easily be seen and reported. Your brother is a Spymaster. If we get out of here, and he—"

"I am also a Spymaster," she reminded him. "And the first thing I learned was how to hide things from Az."

"I cannot have you getting hurt," he whispered, pain in his eyes.

"The only one who has hurt me lately has been you," she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"And the guilt has been eating at me for the last five years," he stressed, his hand reaching out for hers. She yanked it away from him. "Please, 'Stel."

"It will take me a while," she said to him. "Before I let you touch me again."

"I understand," he said quietly. "I won't touch you until you're ready."

Chapter Text

Year: 39
Year Under The Mountain: 35

     Estella and Eris spent the next seven days together, practically inseparable from each other. They spent their days in either Estella or Eris's bedroom, and yet he hadn't tried to touch her. She was grateful for that, and she knew he would wait until she gave him approval.

     They spent their time talking with one another about the last five years of their lives, while sharing bottles of wine. They caught each other up, and mainly spoke about how much they had missed one another. Eris spent quite a while apologizing, and Estella decided she quite liked it when he groveled. 

"I was lonely without you, 'Stel," Eris admitted to her. 

     They were lying side by side on his bed, their thighs and shoulders barely touching. Estella sighed, resting her scarred hand on his. He glanced up at her, his amber eyes soft.

"I missed you every day," Estella said, lifting the bottle of wine in her other hand to her lips. She took a long swig, then passed it over to Eris. "But you really hurt me." 

"I know I did," he said. "And I hate myself for it." 

     His voice cracked, tears glistening in his eyes. Estella stared at him, having never seen him cry before. She reached up and wiped a tear from his face. 

     Estella leaned in and kissed his lips deeply. He moaned against her mouth, as though he had missed the taste of her. He dropped the bottle of wine, not caring if it spilled, and intertwined his hands with her hair, pulling her closer. 

     She climbed on top of him, throwing her head back as his lips trailed down her neck, hungrily kissing the sensitive skin. He went to unbuckle his trousers, but she put a hand on his, stopping him.  

"You'll make it up to me tonight by focusing on pleasuring me entirely," she decided. "Maybe if you're good for me, and I decide you truly are sorry, you can cum."

     She'd never once tried to take control in the bedroom. That was his role, and she enjoyed it when he played it. So she wasn't sure if he would resist, or play along. 

"Anything you say, my beautiful bat," he smirked, flipping her so she was under him. Her wings flared around them before he pinned them down to the bed. "Do you want me to play with your wings?" 

"Yes, please," she gasped, having not had any pleasure of the sort in half a decade. 

     He unlaced the back of her dress, the two of them working together to strip her bare. When she was naked beneath him, he took her in as though he'd never seen her body before. 

"You're utterly perfect, Estella," he expressed. 

"Then get to work," she retorted, extremely impatient.

     He gripped her breasts in his hands, squeezing them just slightly. She whimpered, her hands finding his short red locks. 

    His lips began at hers again, then trailed down to her breasts. He pressed soft kisses to them, making her breath shudder in anticipation. He wrapped his mouth around her left nipple, sucking and trailing his tongue around it. She gasped out a moan, her eyes squeezing shut. 

      He moved over to her other breast, his tongue flicking at her nipple and making her whine. His grip remained on her left breast, his thumb rubbing circles. 

     Estella's hands trailed from his hair to his shoulders, grazing down his arms until she was gripping the sheets. 

     Eris's kisses slowly moved down her body, and Estella's breath hitched as he spread her legs with his rough hands. He pressed a kiss to her clit, and she moaned out. He chuckled softly against her, causing her to throw her head back. 

"Eris," she whined, desperate for him. 

     He smiled, reaching up and taking her hand in his. He kissed up her inner thigh, his breath fanning across her core. 

"Eris!" she snapped this time, a growl in her voice. 

"Apologies, my lady," he grinned. 

     He licked up her core, his tongue circling her clit lightly. Too lightly. She let out a grunt of frustration that made him smile against her. In response, he wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking it into his mouth. She cried out, her hips jutting up. His grip on her hand tightened reassuringly. 

     He began moving his head side to side, his tongue lapping at her folds, and his nose rubbing against her clit. Her moans were loud and undignified, just the way he liked them. She gripped his hair with her free hand, pushing his face closer to her core. 

     He opened and closed his mouth against her, his tongue working what she thought must have been magic. She couldn't remember the last time he had wrung so much pleasure from her. 

     As her climax crept up on her, her thighs closed around his head, her hips grinding against his face. As he continued sucking her clit, two fingers entered her wet cunt. She gasped, her legs shaking. 

     Eris held her hand as she hit her high, her uncontrollable moans ringing through the room. He didn't stop working on her, even as incomprehensible pleas left her lips. He was going to pleasure her until she broke. 

     His fingers were curling inside of her, his tongue working her so thoroughly, she wasn't sure she would survive. 

     When her overstimulation wore off, her pleasure hit her again. She came harder than before, gripping Eris's hand so tightly, she thought she would break it. 

"Fuck me, Eris," she begged, closing her eyes. "Please, fuck me." 

      He didn't have to be told twice. He had stripped off his clothes by the time she had opened her hazel eyes. 

     A part of her wanted to reach out and wrap her hand around his perfect cock. She wanted it stuffed down her throat while she moaned around it. But there was plenty of time for that. Tonight was about her pleasure. 

     He circled her entrance with his cock, carefully and slowly sliding in. She winced, having forgotten how big he was. 

"You can take it," he murmured, pressing his forehead against hers. "You always take it so well." She nodded, her brows knit. 

     She whimpered as he pushed further in, finally bottoming out. "Good girl," he said softly. "So good for me." 

     He began fucking her at a steady pace, not too rough. He would be rough with her another time. Tonight, she needed it gentle.

     As her arms wrapped around his neck, he began tracing circles on her wings. She let out a shuddering breath, meeting his eyes with a vulnerability in her expression.

"Feels nice, Er," she uttered. 

     Her legs wrapped around his hips, letting his cock hit her deeper, and at a new angle. His rough fingers against her wings brought her pleasure to a new level, just as it always did. 

     Estella pulled Eris's face closer to hers, kissing his lips deeply. His tongue slid into her mouth, and she allowed it. Their tongues intertwined as she held his face in her hands. 

     Feeling his cock twitching inside of her, Estella knew he was close. She pulled away from his, his forehead resting on hers. 

"We can cum together," she decided.

     He captured her lips with his again, his thrusts beginning to speed up. He found a tendon on her wing that had her moaning into his mouth, and he focused his strokes on it. 

     Her climax was creeping up on her, her hips meeting his thrusts, and her tongue working in unison with his. 

"Cum in me, Eris," she begged when their climax hit them both. 

     He spilled inside of her with a grunt, continuing to fuck her through her own high. She cried out, thighs locked tight around his hips, and wings twitching against his hands. 

     When they both came down, they lay there, Eris still inside of her, their foreheads still touching. Their heavy breaths mingled, their heart rates pounding in unison. 

"You don't need to hate yourself, Er," Estella whispered, holding his face in her hand. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. "I love you."

     Neither of them had spoken those words in the entirety of their time together. His amber eyes went wide, his pupils blown as he stared at her. 

"I love you too," he replied, his voice breaking. "I love everything about you, 'Stel, including your hands. They're beautiful to me, and I've always thought so. I'm so sorry that I used your insecurities against you to push you away."

     She softened, rolling them over so that she was lying on top of him. She cuddled up to the male, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping herself around him, desperate for warmth and comfort. He kissed the top of her head, his arms holding her close. 

"I was three when my hands were burned," she confessed very quietly. His brows furrowed, and he grew silent as he took in her words. "My father was a married man with children of his own. My mother was one of his servants, although she was paid very little and treated poorly. When she gave birth to Azriel, our father's wife was furious. She threw Azriel in a cell in the basement of the keep. I was born around five years later, and they locked me up with my brother. We were only allowed out of the cell for an hour a day, and we were only allowed to see our mother once a week." 

"'Stel," he murmured, his voice laced with pity. She ignored him. 

"Our two stepbrothers were older than us," she went on, staring at a spot on the wall. "When Az was eight, and I was three, they were in our cell. They often mistreated us, but this time, they took it too far. They decided to test our Illryian healing powers. They covered our hands in oil, and lit them on fire. Our father's guards heard us screaming, but they didn't get to us in time to save our hands."

     Eris was silent for a long while as he took in her awful story. Estella was concerned for a moment, wondering if she shouldn't have shared that with him.  

"You were three," he whispered, his voice laced with horror. She nodded, hiding her face in his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, my love." 

"It's alright," she said. "Rhysand's mother rescued us three years later. She was friends with our mother when they were girls. I only had to endure that torture for six years." 

     Her wings drooped, covering them both, and keeping them warm. He kissed her forehead, using one hand to play with her hair.

"My father always had an appetite for cruelty," Eris spoke up. Estella lifted her head, glancing at him with surprise. "He tormented all of us--my mother, my brothers, me. But he held me to a higher expectation than the rest of them. As his heir, I was expected to be perfect. And when I wasn't . . . " 

      Eris trailed off, and Estella took his hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly. 

"I was used to being hit and burned," he admitted. "That started before I can even remember. But when I was ten, he began whipping me. He would take me to the dungeons of the Forest House, and use a flaming whip on my back. He would leave me down there for a full day afterwards, unless I had responsibilities to attend to."

"When did it stop?" Estella whispered, her eyes wide. 

"It never did," he confessed. "The last time was just before we all got trapped down here."

     She felt her lower lip trembling at the mere thought of her mate being tortured like that. She'd received her fair share of lashings at the hands of her stepmother as a child, but never anything like that. She'd seen those scars on his back. It had to be horrific lashings to scar that badly.  

"Oh, Er," she fussed, holding his face in her hands. "I'm sorry that happened to you." 

"It's okay, my dear," he assured her. "Holding you in my arms makes every bit of suffering I've ever endured worth it." 

Chapter Text

Year: 44
Year Under The Mountain: 40

     Estella yawned, waking up in her mate's arms that morning. They'd gone to bed late, staying up talking. They could talk for hours on end and never get bored of each other. 

     Estella curled up by his side, resting her head on Eris's shoulder. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, having been awake for nearly an hour already.

     She began running her fingers through his red hair in the way she knew he liked. He shifted, wrapping his hands around her wrist and removing her hand from his hair.

"Spread your wings out," Eris instructed.

     She grinned as she sat up and stretched her wings out. He rolled on top of her, pinning her to the bed with his firm body.

     Eris reached out to the nightstand where his discarded tie from the night before lay. He snagged it, using the tie to bind her hands above her head and to the headboard.

     His fingers found her left wing and began to trace patterns. She sighed in delight, closing her eyes to indulge in the pleasure.

     Eris was gentle and soft at first, but as he explored more of her wing, his fingers began to dig into her most sensitive spots.

     Estella cried out as he found the spot that always drove her over the edge when he was pounding into her. He smirked at her, his right hand finding that same spot on her other wing.

"Please, please," she pleaded.

"Please what?"

"Touch me," she begged, her core clenching around nothing.

"I am touching you," he said. She squirmed beneath him, which only made him chuckle.

"I can't cum from this alone," she urged, her face scrunching.

"You aren't going to cum," he stated.

     She whined, squirming again. Why would he start this if it wasn't to please her? Her brows knit together in frustration. 

     He hadn't stopped stroking those sweet spots on her wings. Her legs wrapped around his hips, and she grinded her core against him, trying to get as much friction as she could.

"Don't make me tie your legs up, too," he threatened, his thumb sliding down the tendon on her wing. She cried out, her eyes filling with tears.  

"You're cruel," she said, her voice wavering. "Let me go if you're not letting me cum."

"I think I want to tease you a bit more," he decided, his voice laced with amusement.

     His left hand brushed over a different delicate spot on her wing. She moaned loudly, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Eris," Estella said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I need you inside of me, please." 

"I don't have time this morning, love," he murmured into her ear, his breath hot on her neck. 

"But you have time to tease me," she accused, struggling beneath him. "Don't call me 'love' if you aren't going to make me cum." 

     Eris rolled off of her, running an affectionate hand down her side. "Tonight, I'll make you cum so many times, you'll be begging for relief." 

"That's what I like to hear," she mumbled, making sure to hold him to his word. "Untie me." 

"Maybe I like seeing you tied up," he mused, trailing a finger down the valley of her breasts and the plane of her stomach. "Maybe I'll leave you here like this all day." 

"Eris!" she snapped, tugging at her restraints. "Let me go." 

"Alright," he chuckled. 

     Carefully untying her bindings, he let her wrists free. She winced as she lowered her arms, sore from being restrained like that.

     Eris hummed, massaging the soreness from her shoulders. Estella relaxed under his touch, feeling soothed for only a moment.

     Her entire body tensed as his hands began to warm up unnaturally fast. The realization hit her that he was using his fire to heat them up.

     Estella flinched away from him, her eyes flashing. She used her own hands to grab his wrists and push them away from her. "Stop." 

     Eris froze, his brow furrowing as he took her in. Her brown skin had paled, and her heart was pounding so loudly, she was sure he could hear it.  

"I'm sorry," he said, holding his hands up so she could see them. "I was just trying to relieve the tension in your muscles." 

"I don't like it when you use your fire," she quavered, not able to meet his eyes as her cheeks flushed. 

"I wasn't going to use my fire," he promised her. "I was just heating my hands up." 

"What if you lost control and burned me?" she demanded, her voice shaking with tremors. 

"I wouldn't do that," he assured her. "I've been using my fire for centuries." 

     She stared at his hands warily, unsure about his claims. Anybody could lose control of their powers in certain circumstances.

"'Stel, if we are to be married, you would need to get used to my fire," he said. "And if we had children one day, they would likely inherit my powers. You would need to be alright with that." 

     Estella went still at the words, homing in on the words 'married' and 'children.' She quirked a brow, sitting up. 

"You want to marry me?" she asked, her lip twitching. "You want me to have your children?" 

"Of course," he said, finally reaching out to touch her. 

     He took her into his arms, dragging her onto his lap. She grinned as he did so, resting her head on his chest. 

"One day," he continued. "After my father is dead, and I am High Lord. When I know you would be safe in Autumn. But not a moment before then." He paused, taking in a breath. "If you would have me." 

"I would," she blurted, not even having the sense to feel embarrassed about her enthusiasm. "I will marry you, Eris. When you are High Lord, I will marry you and bear your children." 

     Her sincere words were followed by a sharp hiss from them both, pain shooting from their wrists. They both withdrew from the other's arms, studying the opposite wrists of their past bargain tattoo. 

     A beautiful crown imprinted their wrists, as though a symbol of their engagement. Estella smiled, glancing at the old leaf on her other wrist. She had spent years being utterly frustrated and enraged over that bargain mark. 

     But this one . . . she loved this one. 

»»————-　♔　————-««

     Estella was giddy for the rest of the day, an emotion she was not familiar with. When she had met with Rhysand that afternoon, he had stared at her with a disturbed and suspicious expression. But she had not cared. 

     She hid the fresh tattoo beneath her sleeve, not wanting her brother to notice and question her. But every time she was alone, she would lift her sleeve and stare at the crown, reflecting on the promise she had made Eris. 

     Eris had assured her that he would meet her in her chambers when he was done with his duties for the day. 

     After visiting Rhysand, she had gone to bathe in Eris's washroom, as her own chambers did not have one. Eris had given her a key many years prior, so she could come and go as she pleased.

     Once she had retired to her own chambers, she relaxed in her bed, wearing Eris's favorite of her lingerie. She didn't have many, but there were seamstress's Under the Mountain that sold some. She had bought a few pairs a while back, specifically because she knew how much Eris liked them.

     His favorite was a violet pair, a lacy top that was entirely see through and bottoms that barely covered a thing. 

"Are you nearly done?" she interrogated through the bond.   

"One more hour, 'Stel," he replied. 

"You said that an hour ago.” 

"You are the most impatient female I've ever met," he retorted, though she could sense his amusement. 

"Just hurry." 

"As you wish, my beautiful bat." 

     She rolled her hazel eyes, huffing as she lay back in her bed. He drove her utterly insane, but she adored him, nevertheless. 

     Estella had nearly dozed off by the time her door creaked open. She smiled softly, sitting up to face her mate. 

     He cast a ward as he closed the door behind him, then his eyes were on her. A smirk spread across his lips as he took in her form. 

"You are breathtaking," he uttered, nearing her bed. 

"I've been waiting long enough," she teased, reaching her leg out to run her foot up his inner thigh. He growled, clutching her ankles and tugging her to the edge of the bed. 

"Just for your impatience, you shall service me first," he said. "Get on your knees." 

     Estella slid from the bed and to her knees with a teasing slowness, her hazel eyes never leaving her mate's face. 

     Hands slid into her hair while she undid his pants, reaching to take his cock out. She smirked up at him as she held it in her hand, the scent of his arousal hitting her. 

     She stroked the length of him once, twice, several times. She delighted in the way he twitched in her hand. 

     His hand collected her dark curls, holding it back for her to keep it out of her face. While she appreciated it, she knew he would only use his grip on her to slam his cock in and out of her mouth once she got going.

     With one more sultry look cast up at him, she took the head of his cock into her mouth. She sucked on the tip of him, jerking the rest of his cock with one hand. He grunted, his grip in her hair tightening. 

     As she got used to the feeling of him in her mouth, she began to take him deeper, her hand steadying at the base of him. 

     She lifted her free hand, taking his balls in it and massaging them just how he liked. A pretty moan left his lips, one that only encouraged her. 

     She took him deeper, yet again, not stopping when his cock hit the back of her throat. Tears stung her eyes, but she didn't allow that to discourage her. 

     All the restraint he had managed to keep snapped when he bottomed out. He gripped her hair with both hands and took control, fucking her face with no mercy. 

      The sounds leaving her mouth were undignified, the tears in her eyes beginning to fall. She did her best to breathe through her nose, though her head was going light. 

      She braced her hands on his thighs, no more room for her to jerk his cock. Her throat was taking every inch. 

     Estella looked up at him through her lashes, and the sight was enough to finish him off. He groaned as hot ropes of cum shot into her mouth. 

     She whimpered, swallowing up every drop and once again using her hands to stroke the base of him. 

     When he was sure he was entirely spent, he loosened his grip on her and pulled out of her mouth. She gasped, nearly collapsing onto the floor at the lack of air.  

     Eris gently gathered her into his arms and placed her back in the sheets of her bed. "I hope you're not too tired. I made you a promise this morning." 

     A smile flitted to her lips, remembering very well what he had said. His nimble fingers began unbuttoning his shirt, and he shrugged it off, leaving his chest exposed. 

"As much as I love how you look in violet, I want you utterly bare for this," he said. She allowed him to undress her completely, until she was naked beneath him. "This is a sight I will never grow tired of." 

     She flushed under his gaze, grazing her scarred hands over his muscular arms. He lowered himself, his hands on her knees. He spread her legs apart, exposing her core to him. 

     He licked a stripe up her center, making her shudder. His mouth closed over his clit, sucking at it in a way that had her eyes rolling into the back of her head. 

     The pleasure he made her feel always undid her. Maybe it was pure skill, or maybe the mating bond amplified it. But no male had ever made her feel the way he did. 

     He drew away from her, his finger tracing circles around that bud of pleasure, pressing down just in the right spots. Mewls left her pink lips, her back bowing off the bed. 

     Sometimes jealousy reared its ugly head when she considered why he was so good at making her feel the way he did. She would wonder how much experience he had, and the thought of him with other females made her irrationally upset. 

     But when he had her moaning like this, all thoughts left her head completely. All she could remember was his name. 

"Eris," she pleaded, her brows knitting together. 

     His tongue traced up and down her core, circling at her most sensitive parts. His rough hands reached up to grope her breasts, squeezing and kneading them. 

     The sensation of his mouth on her had her whining beneath him. His tongue slid inside of her, and her hips began to jut uncontrollably, her loud cries sounding through the room. 

"Oh, Eris, please, Gods!" she moaned, her eyes squeezed shut. 

     His fingers twisted and pinched at her nipples, his tongue trailing from her cunt to her clit. Her hands found his hair, her hips grinding against his face as he began to utterly devour her. 

     If he hadn't thrown up that ward, she was sure the entire mountain would hear her cries of pleasure. 

     When she came, it was hard and unforgiving. Her body shook with spasms, her core clenching around nothing. 

     Eris wasted no time before he was atop her again, and he was inside of her in one, mighty stroke. 

     She cried out, having not had time to adjust to the girth and length of him. But as her cunt clenched around the fullness, he set his pace.

     He fucked her hard and fast, dragging his fingers over her wings as he did so. She was nearly sobbing from overstimulation, her legs wrapping around his hips. 

"It hurts," she managed, bracing her hands on his chest. 

"Just the way you like it, then," he replied, the words only encouraging him to go harder. 

     He knew her well, it seemed. She loved when it hurt just right, when he was sadistic and merciless with her.

"Love it," she said, the words breathless. "I love everything you make me feel." 

"I know you do, little slut," he snarled, wrapping a hand around her throat. 

     She welcomed the feeling, loving the euphoric lightness of her head. He would never truly hurt her, not any more than she wanted him to. 

     His strokes became faster, and she knew from that alone that he was close. His hand released her throat, and she gasped for air. 

     His fingers trailed down the tendons of her wings, a hoarse cry falling from her lips as he did so. 

     The two came together, the bond that tethered them singing in their chests. Eris fucked her through their orgasms, and her loud moans became little whimpers as the exhaustion took over. 

"Are you alright?" Eris asked her once their movements had ceased. 

"Yes," she whispered, nodding as best she could. "Felt good." He smiled down at her affectionately. 

"I'm going to clean you up," he said. "Then, we can sleep. Alright?" 

"Mm-hmm," she hummed, her eyes fluttering shut. 

     Eris summoned two washcloths, one wet and one dry. He spread her legs again, wiping their combined releases from her inner thighs and core. She whimpered, still sensitive from her orgasms. When she was clean, he dried her off.

      He got to his feet, stepping over to her dresser. He trifled through her nightclothes until he found her favorite nightgown. 

"Sit up," he instructed. 

     She did, though her body was slumped. She raised her hands above her head, allowing him to dress her in the comfortable nightgown. He pushed her back onto the bed and turned her onto her stomach so that he could button the flaps around her wings. 

"Will you start a fire?" she asked lethargically. 

"Yes," he assured her. "But you're going to join me." 

     Before she could process what he meant, he had swept her up into his arms. She fought against his grasp, her wings flapping frantically.

"Relax," he said. "You're alright. Just relax." 

     He set her onto the ground by the fireplace. She shot to her feet, making for her bed. But he grasped her around the waist and gently tugged her back onto the floor.

"Just sit here with me while I start the fire," he said. 

"No, Eris, please," she begged, tears sprouting in her eyes. "I don't want to be near it." 

"'Stel, you need to get used to it," he reminded her. "When we're married, I will not be able to stop using my fire entirely."

"I know, but there's still a while before we have to worry about that," she reasoned. 

"All you have to do is sit here," he stated. "It will not get close enough to touch you. It will not burn you." 

     Her heart was jumping in her chest, but she willed herself to stay where she was. He began to fill the hearth with the collection of logs that sat beside it. Estella forced herself to take deep breaths, if only to calm her racing heart. 

     He reached out, and the flames sparked to life inside the hearth. She flinched, squeezing her eyes shut. 

     The light of the flames danced in front of her closed eyelids, the heat warming her face just as it had done then. A part of her felt as though she was in that cell again, hands burning as she screamed and sobbed, the laughter of her brothers ringing in her ears. 

     Eris collected her trembling body into his arms, pressing a warm kiss to her forehead. She sobbed into his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck. He rocked her back and forth in front of the hearth, whispering praises into her ear.  

Chapter Text

Year: 48
Year Under the Mountain: 45

     Eris had Estella on all fours, his hands tangled in her curls. He yanked her back, and she whined. Her back was forcibly arched as he leaned over and whispered into her ear.

"Be a good girl for me, alright?" he instructed. Estella whimpered, nodding her head as much as she could.

     Eris smirked, rubbing his cock up and down her core. Estella gasped, squeezing her eyes shut.

"You might want to hold onto something, 'Stel," he murmured.

     Estella took his warning, gripping onto the headboard to hold her weight. She cried out as he sank into her, not bothering to start slow.

     The headboard shook as he fucked her roughly while she moaned and whimpered.

     Eris's callused hand squeezed her breast in his hand. He pinched her nipple, rolling it between his fingers while she whined.

"Eris," Estella groaned, hanging her head, her hands still gripping the headboard until her knuckles turned white.

"You're taking it so well," he praised, delivering another punishing thrust.

     He stopped kneading her breast, his hands on her hips again. His fingers dug into her skin, firm enough to bruise.

     One hand released her, only for it to come back and harshly smack her ass. She squeaked, her body jolting forward. He chuckled.

     A spring had coiled in her stomach, so tight, she knew she would come apart any minute.

     The spring released as he found an angle that hit that spot perfectly. He released inside of her at the same time, their pleasured moans harmonizing.

     Estella collapsed onto her front as he released her, huffing and catching her breath. He landed another playful smack to her bare backside before he got out of her bed.

     She whined when he returned from the washroom and began wiping their releases from her thighs with a towel. He crawled into bed beside her, drawing her close. They huddled under the covers, Eris pressing kisses to her jaw.

"Eris," she whined, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Yes, my love?" he asked.

"What are we going to do when we get out of here?" she asked. "How are we going to manage to sneak around after all this is over?" If it was ever over.

"I plan on killing my father very soon after we get out," he explained. "Then, we won't have to sneak around."

"What about my family?" she asked nervously. "They'll be furious with me."

     Eris had explained it to her years ago—what had really happened with Morrigan. How if he had saved her, she would've been Autumn Court property. And how he had made sure Azriel got word of where she was. But her family would never believe that.

"All because of who I am?" he teased her.

"Not just because of who you are," she scoffed. "If my brothers knew I was seeing anybody that didn't have their approval, they'd lose their minds."

"Why are your brothers so protective?" he asked her.

"There was an incident when I was a teenager," she admitted. "They can't move past it."

     He raised a brow, urging her to go on. She just sighed, snuggling further into his arms, her head resting on his bare chest.

"I met a male named Marcus," she told him. "I was 18, and he was assigned to me by the camp Lord to help me control my shadows, since I couldn't train with the other boys. I was infatuated with him. We had to keep our relationship a secret because my brothers would never have approved. I convinced myself that we would get married and have this epic love story to tell our children."

"What happened?" Eris asked.

"It went on for two years," Estella said. "Then I found out he was sleeping with another girl in the camp. I was distraught. I truly thought he loved me. I was in shambles over him."

"How did your brothers find out?"

"I wasn't eating, I rarely left my room," she recalled. "My brothers and Rhys's mother confronted me, asking what was wrong. I told them everything. Rhys's mother helped me get over it. She helped me accept that it hadn't been love. My brothers beat the shit out of him. And ever since, I can't even go on a date without them interrogating the poor male."

"I'd never do anything like that to you," he murmured, kissing her forehead.

"I know you wouldn't," she smiled softly.

     Eris held her for a while longer, the both of them enjoying the other's warmth.

"Let's take a bath," Eris suggested after a long moment of silence.

»»————-　♔　

      After their bath, they had fallen asleep together in Estella's bed, wearing matching robes that Eris had paid a seamstress to make for Estella's birthday. She had laughed herself hoarse but loved it all the same.

     They woke in the morning, greeting one another with soft kisses and wandering hands. No male she had ever been with had made her feel as loved as he did.

     A knock at the door made them draw away from one another, Estella's eyes going wide.

"Stella?" a voice--Rhysand's voice called from the other side of the door.

He tried the door, but it was locked. Estella remembered there was a ward up and relaxed just a bit.

"Stella, are you alright?" he asked. "Why is there a ward up?"

"He'll go away," Eris murmured to her.

     But Rhysand was doing no such thing. In an instant, the ward around the door was torn down, and the door slammed open.

     Eris sat up, his arms around Estella protectively as Rhysand entered the room, his violet magic illuminating his figure.

     Rhysand froze, his narrowed eyes taking in the sight of them. Estella's eyes went wide, and she pressed herself into Eris's side.

"Get out," he snarled at Eris.

"Rhys--" Estella began.

     But Rhysand was already storming towards the bed--towards Eris.

"Rhysand, stop!" Estella exclaimed, gripping onto Eris.

     But it was too late. Rhysand's fist slammed into Eris's face, and Eris leapt up, pinning Rhys to the wall. The two dealt each other blow after blow as Estella shrieked and begged for them to stop.

     Only when Estella had jumped up and thrown herself between the two did they stop. Rhysand was snarling as he glared at Estella's mate, who was glaring right back.

"Get out," he snarled at Eris once again. Eris looked at Estella, who shot him an expression of desperation.

"Just leave, Er," she said to him. "I can handle this."

"I'm not leaving you alone with him," Eris replied.

"You will," Estella said. "He won't hurt me. I'll find you when we're done." 

     Eris left without another word, his narrowed eyes never leaving Rhysand's. Estella sighed, turning her attention back to her brother.

"Rhys—"

"Eris Vanserra?" he demanded, whirling on her. "I thought you had better judgment than that. I suppose without your shadows, you're just a naïve little girl."

"You don't understand--"

"Oh, I understand," he snapped. "You're fucking one of the cruelest males in Prythian."

"He is not cruel," she defended her mate, the words coming out as a growl.

"Really?" he scoffed. "Why don't you ask Mor?"

"That's not fair, you don't have the full story!" she said.

"Oh, and you'd believe whatever he says?" Rhysand snarled.

"Yes!" she said. "I do. Because he's my mate."

     The scowl faded from Rhysand's face, an expression of anger and concern replacing it. Estella took a step back, unable to meet his violet eyes.

"Do you realize what a dangerous position that puts you in?" he asked softly. "If his father were to find out—"

"He won't," she insisted. "We're careful."

"So careful that I walked right in on you?" he challenged, gesturing to the door.

"There was a ward up!" Estella yelled.

"I broke through that godsdamn ward," he scoffed.

"Gods, Rhys, you have no respect for my privacy!" she shouted, throwing her arms out. "You never have!"

"You don't have the ability to make wards, Estella," he pointed out. "I thought someone was trying to hurt you."

     She sighed, plopping down on her bed and shaking her head as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I suppose that's why he seemed so eager to get rid of his father," he murmured. "I'm calling the bargain off."

"Rhys, there's no need to call it off—"

"Yes, there is," he said. "If I help him plot to murder his father, he becomes High Lord. Then, he will be free to take you in the night."

"He wouldn't have to take me in the night," she sneered, crossing her arms.

"You would go with him freely?" he said, his eyes flashing. "You would abandon your family for him?"

"I wouldn't be abandoning you all," she rolled her eyes. "I would be going to my mate. I would still visit and write."

"No, you wouldn't," he replied. "Because you would be dead to all of us."

     The words made her freeze, her stomach dropping as she glanced up at him, her lower lip wobbling.

"Rhys," she whispered, her eyes flashing with hurt.

"How do you think Azriel would react if he knew?" he asked. "What about Morrigan?"

"I told you; he had a perfectly decent explanation for that—"

"You didn't see her. You didn't see the state he left her in. We made sure you didn't."

"If he had touched her, she would've become Autumn Court property!" Estella said.

"So, he left her to die instead," Rhys retorted. "You are not to see him ever again."

     Estella's hazel eyes went wide in outrage, a scoff of disbelief leaving her lips as she got to her feet.

"You aren't my father, Rhys!" Estella cried. "You cannot tell me what to do."

"No, but I am your High Lord," he said.

"Are you really pulling rank with me?" she demanded. "Over this?"

"I am," Rhysand replied. "If I find out you're seeing him again, I'll make sure Azriel finds out when we get out of here."

"Rhys, he'll kill me," she pleaded, tears in her eyes.

"You're lucky I haven't," he scoffed. "I'm leaving. I can't even look at you right now."