Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The alpha pack came to Beacon Hills in a rush, making sure their presence was well noticed and feared. They were after Derek and to get to him, Deucalion’s best idea was to kidnap his betas and hide them from the world.

But it wasn’t going to be a child's play for the newcomer when the Hale alpha had Deaton, Stiles and a bunch of teenagers on his side. Well, not as easy as it would be without them.

Isaac managed to remember where they were kept with Deaton’s help: Beacon Hills National Bank’s vault, of course abandoned and empty of any living being apart from Erica, Boyd and a mysterious girl.

The young wolf kept murmuring about her as he was kept under cold water by Derek and Scott following Deaton’s orders. Not as pleasant as he hoped, but surely a way to make him remember something useful...

Once they had put together a poorly managed plan, Derek and Scott went to the bank, breaking down the wall of the vault and welcoming themselves in, very much uninvited. Especially since Boyd and the girl came to them in a heartbeat, ready to slaughter them.

Deucalion didn’t just hide them and torture them, he made their tolerance to the full moon fall down on the scale. Which was clear when a ray of moonlight shined through the hole in the wall and they went feral.

Derek saw Boyd first as he showed up before the girl. Fangs bared long and sharp, claws all out, eyes empty of any human senses. A scent reeking of ‘hunt’ hit his nostrils.

Scott was soon by the alpha’s side when she showed up too. A slim figure with fatal claws and fangs ready to get it going, her eyes yellow and angry. Derek’s face fell, brows crunched in confusion as the alpha thought she wasn’t alive…

“Cora?”

Her name caught her attention and she replied, “Derek.” But Scott wasn’t deaf and asked him about her, preparing to fight them both. “Who’s she?” His question was more a scream than anything else, at which the alpha replied soon after.

“She’s my sister, my younger sister.” By the time their little conversation was over, the fight was already pushing its claws on their throats.

Derek had to deal with Boyd while Scott took on Cora. Viciously, the fight went on as no wounds stuck to anyone’s skin, yet claws dug deeper each time. Fangs left temporary marks on their bodies, shoulders ended up covered in blood.

The two guys were surrounded by a circle of mountain ash, trapped with the two feral betas. Then, Allison showed up, the vault’s door was being pushed wide open as she looked at the situation.

She broke the circle at the entrance causing both the betas to run out as she called for him.

“Boyd!”

Both him and Cora heard it and they soon disappeared from everyone’s sight and went somewhere else. A place no one was aware of and they sure couldn’t go after them, making them feel threatened could lead them closer to the city.

But there wasn’t time to go over that. Derek had told her not to break it as he was fighting Boyd off his back, but she did and so they were free to roam around as they pleased.

“Guess what they’re going to do out there, do you have any idea what we just set free?” His eyes didn’t show a hint of red but his voice made it clear he was all in for debate.

“You wanna put the blame on me?!”

But her argument fell when Derek understood she didn’t know what had previously happened and he had Scott to tell her.

All the while, the alpha let them have their time to talk it out as he didn’t want much of anything to do with it, he had a beta to search for.

He walked past the vault and into its center, trying to pick up a scent that would lead him, but it wasn’t necessary. Instinct directed him in a dark corner.

It didn’t take him long to find her, laying against a wall. It felt like she had just materialized there after the fight.

Her body was cold and lifeless, the spark of life in her eyes long gone. He knew she was dead, there was no doubt about it as his eyes ran over her figure. He felt just as drained as she was.

Derek picked her up in his arms like a father would his daughter, yet she had no sleep covering her features, it was a heavier veil, one which reeked of death and loneliness.

Carrying her through the vault, his heart began to crack open, the scent all around the bank had her last words in it…

“I wonder what will happen to us. Maybe it'll make us stronger.”

His eyes kept to her face, blond hair all over it covering her pale skin. She was lost and the alpha felt a part of himself being lost along with her. He imagined his beta running wild in another time and place.

At least he hoped so as he walked over to the couple. Erica’s body shocked them both and the argument ceded, Allison had a stray tear in the corner of her eye while Scott felt the air being punched out of his lungs.

Derek didn’t say a word as he kept her body close to his own, warmth seeping through her cold limbs with no reaction.

Making his way out, leaving the bank behind and walking towards his car, the ground was shaking beneath his feet. He placed Erica in the passenger seat, then drove to Deaton’s clinic to ensure her body would be kept somewhere safe.

The ride there seemed endless. Her body jolted with each hole in the road despite Derek trying to avoid them. Hair kept falling on her face. Everything in him screamed to brush it aside.

‘How could this ever make us stronger?’

His mind wandered as he pushed on the gas, he didn’t notice how many red lights he had run. He didn’t care, he arrived at Deaton’s clinic anyway.

The ground under his feet felt softer than usual then, as if he was being pulled down. Erica was in his arms, just like a few moments earlier. He wished the world wouldn’t be so quiet, he missed the sound of her voice already.

Door unlocked, he went in and Deaton was the first to greet him, his expression changing the moment the doctor saw the girl. Crossed arms fell to his sides, the man didn’t show anything on his face.

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t cryptic or a metaphor. He talked clearly and then the wolf heard someone else coming back into the operating room of the clinic.

Stiles showed up as from the storage room, he was debating something with the doctor a moment before and then he was welcomed back with the dead body of someone he cared for.

His energetic spark was put to sleep when he saw the scene for how it was, the simplicity he saw in it along with the cruelty of the moment too: Derek with yet again another lifeless person in his life, Erica dead for no good reason.

Both seemed to look at Stiles even if the wolf had his eyes glued to the ground and hers were closed. But the younger one could tell there was something in it, in the way they both seemed to walk down the stairs of death’s kingdom in front of his very own eyes.

Deaton didn’t say anything to fill the silence, on the other hand he was standing in the shadows, simply watching or contemplating despite the obvious playing out in front of his eyes.

He knew something neither of the two was aware of, so he let them be. “I’ll prepare a place in the back for her” and he left them there, alone and hurt. His words shook them both out of their trance while snapping something in Stiles as well.

His first instinct was to get closer to her, to make sure there was nothing else to do. She reminded him of his mother, lifeless on a hospital bed, laying there as if she was simply sleeping away the night.

Footsteps were heavy and distant from each other as he walked over, his fingers brushed away the hair covering her face. Derek smelled in his scent some hint of nostalgia and pain, but when he looked at him, amber eyes caring only for her, his heart eased at the show of affection for his beta.

His brown eyes then switched from her to him then. Stiles could take care of the dead and the living, yet the world wasn’t just a graveyard.

“Derek…” He took a step back, his body wasn’t hovering above her anymore, he was searching for him, knowing what he must be feeling at the moment.

Green irises were more gray than anything. A veil of sorrow was laid on them, changing the color while his voice seemed to be gone. Stiles felt a chill running down his spine at seeing those eyes staring back.

The boy contemplated something he could say to him, a question or just a word to lighten the mood in the room.

But the moment Stiles was about to mutter out something to the wolf, Deaton showed up once more, his arm extended to show Derek the way.

When Derek was about to walk where the doctor instructed, the boy came back from his quick coma and words finally found their way out.

“We’ll take care of her, Deaton” fell from Stiles’ lips and he became the captain of a sinking ship, guiding the alpha to follow him and he did.

They did a quick yet gentle work. There was nothing else to be done anyway.

No words were said as they laid her body on the steel table, way too clean and smelling too much of ammonia to be new. ‘This table must’ve seen more blood than you and me combined’ thought Stiles to endure the coldness of her arms as he positioned them by her sides.

Derek covered her with a white veil Deaton probably left out for them, the irony of it reminded him of his family. ‘White for the innocent death, yet killed as if guilty’ and she was gone from their sight. Nothing would be left of her after that night…

Both their eyes hovered over her figure, not thinking about anything as their emotions were almost devouring them, up until Stiles spoke in that soft voice of his, which got Derek’s attention the instant the words hit his ears.

“We are going to be okay, for her…” It was a plea the wolf wished he could share with the boy, but it felt wrong to be guilty without any changes, so he kept quiet. Stiles noticed, like he always did.

“Derek, we have to keep going or she’s gone for nothing.” His eyebrows scrunched in pain and horror, trying to get the other to understand he wasn’t living upon a cloud of hopes and dreams.

Stiles pointed a finger, shaking and hesitant, above her figure. “This can’t keep on happening,” voice trembling as he spoke, he felt the beginning of tears in his eyes. But he tried to fight it off.

His arms were firm on the cold metal of the table. Stiles held himself the way Derek did when they were planning how to get into the vault. Neither of them ever thought about the consequences of stepping inside that ground.

They knew Erica would be dead by the time of Derek’s arrival, but seeing her being nothing more than a body they had to dig a grave for was something they weren’t prepared for.

It wasn’t a sigh easy to hold.

And since the wolf didn’t speak a single word, Stiles shared his words with someone else. He leaned forward and his mouth was over her ear, the voice of a mother speaking to her sleeping child. Low tuned and shaky breaths, a mother trying hard not to wake her child.

His words cut through Derek like a knife never could.

“You did good…” He wiped away a stray tear from his face, “now we’ll take it from here.” He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as another tear ran down his cheek.

“Tough and pretty, you’ve always known that about yourself,” he began to say through small sobs. Derek stared silently, motionless just like her. “But you never heard it enough…”

Derek noticed how his knees almost gave out, but he spoke again while holding himself upright. “I should’ve told you more frequently how tough and pretty you were.”

He choked down a sob, coughing and letting more tears escape from his eyes. He had one last thing to say to her.

“You did very well, Erica. Tough and pretty, tough and pretty….” Tears muted everything he tried to say, rivers of pain were all that was left on Stiles’ face…

The alpha didn’t know what to say or do, stone still was his body while he had eyes only for her and him at the same time, her nothingness and his sorrow.

He managed to say only one thing when his voice didn’t even want to come to the surface, “Stiles…” He called for him in a suffocated sigh, and the younger one knew the depth his name went the second it left the wolf’s throat.

The hush sound of his name brought him back, Stiles spoke quietly as he wiped away more tears. The hem of his shirt was getting wet as he used it to dry his under eye.

“I know, Derek, I know…”

His eyes shot back up and they stared at each other. ‘What could I possibly say to you now, without tearing you to pieces without even meaning to?’

Stiles couldn’t live in a graveyard any longer. He didn’t know what to say, what to share, so he promised something for another time.

He didn’t know if Derek would show up or not, if he’d trust Stiles in such a painful moment of his life. But he tried anyway, the boy wanted to believe he would.

‘You have scratched my window for research so many times, can you come to me for a more selfish reason?’

So he spoke.

A little oat he never even thought could ever be broken. “My window is always open.”

He wiped away the tears with the back of his hands then, eyes fighting to stay open. Derek instinctively moved to get out, to run away and hide in a far corner of the world and let pain starve him to death, but he couldn’t.

As he walked just a few steps, he stopped and looking from the ground up, he found Stiles’ eyes, full of something he could never really give a name to.

Those amber eyes looked at him as he could see right inside of him. Every little secret would be revealed if Stiles stared at him any longer…

And the boy kept a solid gaze on him. Derek felt like he was trapped, like there was a price he had to pay to get out of there. But Stiles was kind, he knew. He was.

Derek nodded at him, acknowledging his offer and thanking his compassion, he hoped that would be enough to get out of there, to finally run away.

Stiles did the same and looked over at her one last time, eyes empty and heavy, giving Derek the chance to go away unseen. It was merciful of him in that moment of fragility of the other.

And when the alpha was gone, so were the boy’s tears.

Taking his time to regain his composure, he sniffed and ached all over but he had to go back to Deaton. ‘I know you are there with words to tell me.’

The doctor was waiting for him just like he'd expected him to, his eyes darted up to him and he exchanged a weak smile with the younger guy, which was met with a low-energy one.

“About what we were saying earlier-” Deaton cut him off, gesturing to let the argument fall. “Another time,” was all he said. When he got in the room, he thought he could handle it, but he really couldn’t. And Deaton could see it.

Eyes wet, knees weak, hands shaking… Deaton saw it.

Stiles didn’t fight it as it happened and so, as the doctor sort of gave him the ‘day off’, he had no reason to stay. He wanted to go home, have a nice shower and eat something before waiting for claws to scratch his window. With a small nod, he started walking for the door.

But Deaton held him back from his plan. “You don’t see how the two of you are, do you?” Eyebrows raised, the man spoke as if the truth was right before them all.

“What do you mean, Deaton? I'm not really in the mood for riddles now.” Stiles hung by the door, holding one of his elbows, leaning on the doorframe and waiting for the other to say something to clarify.

“You’re his anchor… Whether you see it or not, there’ll be a day when he’ll need you for something more.”

Entering in one ear and leaving from the other, the words left Stiles with nothing if not another puzzle he didn’t have the energy to solve.

“Yeah, Deaton, whatever you say, really.” One hand scratched his eyes as they were drifting away, eyelids heavy. A deep breath left his nostrils and the doctor watched him with interest.

‘I know something that you don’t’ was a game Stiles didn’t really want to play at that moment. Especially not after Erica was in the other room, motionless like he’d never seen her, not even when she slept during pack meetings.

“I’m just trying to be a good friend to someone who apparently has none.” His words were sharp, the truth in them wasn’t bright and it didn’t light Deaton’s day as he thought the same.

“Now I’m going home so maybe I’ll solve your puzzle next time, alright? See ya.” He waved at him and he knew Deaton was looking at his back while he walked away, pushing the door open to work on his cryptic words another day.

He jumped into the jeep and started the engine, it fired up after a few tries.

Another timeless ride, another invisible passenger to carry around. Stiles got honked at a dozen times at various red lights. He got home anyway.

So, in less than a quarter hour he was finally there, the jeep in the driveway resting under the darkening sky and his feet on the floor. He went upstairs without much regard since his father wasn’t home, probably wouldn’t be since he had a night shift to cover.

Every step on the stairs felt like reaching some sort of peace, maybe the shower he had in mind was calling for him to hurry up. He took a quick stop in his bedroom.

He took some boxers, sweats and a shirt from his drawers and brought them along in the bathroom, setting them on the washing machine for later.

Undressing, all he was wearing was thrown right in the laundry basket for a different time. Water turned on in a mid-warm setting, his eyes scanned his body in the mirror as he waited for the shower to reach the temperature.

‘What will happen now? How are you gonna handle this, Stiles?’ Eyes fell in the sink. His mind was already stressing him about the future but his body kept him chained to the ground, the cruel present he had to face.

The steam from the hot water caught his attention then, it was time to let things go.

Stepping in the shower, the steam of water washed away his tension and anguish, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Yet, he’d manage his throbbing heart with what he had. Holding it in shaky hands.

Palms rubbed his body clean in mindless motions and before he could even notice, he was already done and out, putting on fresh clothes and heading out towards his room.

With heavy steps and a low head, he walked the distance to reach his corner of the world, where he could dare to have some peace of mind.

Door closed behind him, his chair welcomed him back to his desk and he started to do the little research needed for the next few days. Nothing felt as painful as each breath he was taking in, as every letter he typed.

He rubbed his eyes many times to stay awake, but sleep kept on coming at him, just like tears. He was beginning to feel too exhausted and sensitive to keep going like that…

Then his mind switched his thoughts somewhere else, in a place he found himself more times than not. More times than the ones he’d like to admit.

He thought of him, he thought of his mom, of her illness and his family. He wondered if curses were real, but he knew they weren’t the right ones for the case anyway.

How could they be? They had enough to carry without a witch pinching their ribs…

Derek ended up not showing up within the time Stiles had expected him to and the boy started to wonder if he was coming or not. He hoped he would even if it would be late.

His window was open just like he promised it would be, waiting to be scratched and knocked on by some grumpy grieving wolf.

He abandoned the laptop and his eyes stared at the glass for quite the hour, wondering where the wolf might be and what he might be doing. Stiles yawned as the back of the chair reclined with his weight on it, no hand went to cover his mouth and his eyes got a bit watery with the stretch of his limbs.

Pondering the options, going to sleep would be the best thing to do. Derek would make some noise anyway if he showed up, at least that was his line of thinking. He stood up and rubbed his eyes, pushing more oncoming tears away.

‘Wake me if you finally come along’ and he went to bed, slid under the cover and waited for sleep to claim him but it never showed up at his doorsteps.

His eyelids didn’t close quite well, like he wasn’t exhausted a minute before he laid on the mattress. ‘I can’t hide how much I care about you… Where the hell are you!?’

The little provocation left him wondering with eyes glued to the ceiling, but it was somehow met with claws on his window, leaving marks in the same spot they always did. Eyes drifted their aim there.

Along all the rectangular surface, only a small path on the lower part was covered in small lines, stripes of white making a mosaic he never really thought about.

Stiles couldn’t help himself and went over the window, holding it open for the other to slide into his room right at midnight. “I was starting to lose faith” was on his lips along with a shy smile, which was met with sore eyes and a slow nod.

He was happy to see the wolf relying on him for something more than answers found online and old script translated from ancient languages.

Stiles was just happy his companion saw him as someone trustworthy, at least he hoped he did…

Derek sat on the chair by the desk, his sacred place in the Stilinski’s house, while Stiles went back on the bed, legs crossed with his back to the wall. The wolf could tell the boy wasn’t lying about giving up, the chair was starting to lose its warmth.

After some moment of silence and both their minds probably thinking about the same things, Stiles was the one to break the silence that fell heavy on them.

“What are we going to do, then? I mean now, not tomorrow or later on.” But the wolf wasn’t really all in for talking and when Stiles noticed, he didn't say much else after.

They both existed in each other’s company, no words shared as if there was no need for them at all. At least it seemed so.

Then, around an hour later, as the clock hit 1 AM, Stiles stood up and it provoked a reaction in Derek. His eyes went over his figure from where they were staring at the floor or the wall.

The boy noticed and filled a bit of the silence between them. “Just going to get you a glass of water.” And he disappeared out the room, his thin figure sliding past the door.

Derek looked around the room, messy as ever and just like Stiles liked it. The scent filling the room awoke memories of calm and peace in his beaten up mind, his fingers relaxed and he wasn’t digging graves past his knuckles anymore.

No blood would spill from his skin anyway, the damage would be healed before it even had time to cause any pain. Derek silently damned the supernatural for taking the pain away from him so quickly, so simply.

Then, the moment Stiles was back into the room, the alpha let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He straightened his back and the boy gave him a glass of water just like he promised.

“By the way, I’m glad to have you around, for all it matters,” was the message which accompanied Stiles’ gesture. And little did he know how big the target was and how perfect his aim ended up being…

It broke Derek completely before he even got a chance to say anything back, his eyes had no tears as they had spilled enough all evening and night. He had nothing more to give.

Yet, his hands trembled and Stiles noticed once he was back on his bed, facing the other.

It came as a guttural sound when Derek’s words hit Stiles’ ears. “No, it’s all my fault…”

Stiles saw it coming and was almost waiting for it, but when he heard the words leaving his mouth he didn’t know how to react, he felt just as helpless.

Not because he felt like it was the alpha’s fault, but because Derek wasn’t going to listen to him and how could, skinny, defenseless Stiles, get into the big bad wolf’s head?

“Derek, it isn’t” was all he could say back, a faint plea he hoped the other would listen to. His eyes showed his pain and exhaustion, but he could fight both off for a bit longer. He could hide them from the other just long enough.

“No, Stiles. it would’ve been better if Deucalion just took it out on me and not them.” The alpha was convinced Stiles couldn’t understand what he was feeling after losing his beta, losing Erica, but he was wrong.

“I get you feel like you lost a part of yourself, but you gotta pick back up all you have left and keep going.” His hopeful words sounded almost fake to the wolf’s ears.

He knew about Stiles’ mother and couldn’t understand how the boy could even be so hopeful about the situation. He knew it couldn’t be a matter of days, he knew how long it took for Stiles to get better.

Derek hid his face in his hands, one leg tapping furiously on the ground in something akin to annoyance, yet Stiles knew it was anger and not even for him.

The wolf spoke again, broken tones and low tunes. “It would’ve been better if I were the only one to die…” And it earned him a reaction.

Stiles shot to his feet the second the words reached his ears, “don’t you ever say that again!” He wasn’t angry, how could he be?

The boy just wanted a poor wolf to understand ‘no deaths’ would be the best solution, and ‘only mine would be good’ didn’t fit in that category.

The alpha looked at him, somewhat amazed at the show of firm tenderness from the other. “Derek…” Stiles took a long breath, calming down from the high of what his mind was raging with.

He was standing in front of the wolf when words came in between them. “I just lost someone like you did and I do not want to lose anyone else on the same fucking day.”

He went down on his knees, staying in front of Derek. “So, forgive if I’m swearing, but it wouldn’t be better if you were the only one getting tortured…”

“...And it wouldn’t be good either if you were the only one to goddamn die.” His eyes sent the message, which was being taken into consideration by the other and he was glad for that.

“Stiles… I-” His words were cut short by the other, who held a finger near his mouth, ‘don’t speak.’ He didn’t fully understand why, he just wanted to apologize. He didn’t really know about what though…

“Just-” He tried again but Stiles shushed him down again, stood up and went laying on the bed, facing a speechless wolf. “Go to sleep, it’s late.” Was all he said when he closed his eyes. But someone was not going to give up.

“Stiles… I’m sorry…” His words didn’t feel like enough to his deaf ears, so he tried again, keeping the other from sleeping. The boy wondered for a split second if he was talking to himself, trying to convince himself of something.

Yet, Stiles seemed not to mind as he sat back on the bed, knowing he failed in the first attempt of putting the wolf to sleep. “Derek, Erica’s gone but it isn’t your fault.”

He spoke the only truth that mattered but the alpha didn’t want to commit to it. “I was her alpha and she died. I couldn’t protect her like I was supposed to… I failed her.”

Stiles could tell the hurt in his eyes, the regret in his body and the overall punishment he was searching for himself. But he couldn’t handle it, not when he liked his company despite their fights.

Not when he could see his green eyes carry the same hint of devastation as his own amber ones.

“Derek-” But it was his time to get cut short, “let me-” Again, cut short. “Stiles! She died because I didn’t protect her!” Derek was basically silently screaming at him from his chair, eyes lost in the way of trying to get Stiles to understand the whole ‘it’s my fault’ argument.

Derek could feel Stiles being somewhat worried for him, he could read in his scent the words he’d use as a comeback. He didn’t want to hear what he was about to say.

“Erica is dead! And I’m to blame for it!” His eyes flashed red but it died instantly, he couldn't handle failing Stiles too. Even though he wasn’t in his pack, he wasn’t going to lose him too.

And the boy could see how Derek’s body died the second the red was gone, how his head hung low and how his frame seemed to shrink. His shoulders were curved and his eyes were closed.

Stiles stood once again, went over to Derek and remained in front of him. The wolf looked up at him as Stiles tapped his chin to stay higher, but he didn’t hold him there. “Derek” he began to say, making sure he had his full attention.

“Erica is dead.” Statement. Stiles was firm yet gentle in his words.

“But it isn't on you, no one blames you for it.” Acceptance. Amber eyes found green ones beginning to comprehend, slowly.

“I’ll never blame you for it.” Reassurance. For a brief moment, he placed a hand on Derek’s shoulder.

Derek didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t fight anymore, no more energy was in his veins after such a tough day. So he said nothing.

His mind formed something though. ‘Anchor…’ Was all that came from that brief moment of complicity Stiles gifted him, but he kept it to himself…

By the time the word was gone from his head, Stiles was back on his bed leaving Derek on the chair. Their unspoken agreement of ‘who sleeps where’ was rock solid. “Good night, sourwolf.” Came from his mouth as he was already drifting to sleep at 3 AM.

However, he noticed the wolf making no attempt to close his eyes, so he took the matter into his hands and gave it another try. “Derek, go to sleep before I knock you out.” And he cracked a small smile he was sure the wolf could see.

It made the wolf’s heart ache a little less, his soul wasn’t as shattered anymore. Derek could smell in his scent that Stiles was never going to blame him, he could sense the truth in his voice.

And the silly threat allowed him to let the day end. “Why don’t you come here and try?” Teased the wolf and that was all he said back with his arms crossed. His body wasn’t so miserable anymore.

“Yeah, yeah big guy. Sleep before I do” and he closed his eyes for the last time that night, allowing sleep to come to him four hours before his alarm would go off in the morning.

Derek took off his shoes with a cracked smile, leaving them by the window and taking a blanket from the wardrobe. Then, he finally sat back down, his usual chair, comfy as it could ever be.

“G’night” was all he said, ending the day with a weight on his shoulder, yet much lighter thanks to the boy who seemed to always be able to help him. Anytime he needed it.

Following Stiles’ example, his eyes fell close. He didn’t dream of anything…

Night came and went, in fact it was around dawn when they slept as they spent the darkest hours talking and talking up to that moment. Stiles snored in his sleep while he crashed one arm under his stomach, Derek was so exhausted he didn’t even notice.

So, around 6 AM, the alpha woke up, stared at Stiles sleeping peacefully and decided to go home, leaving him to his morning routine, to enjoy it himself.

He put on his shoes and folded the blanket, leaving it on the chair for Stiles. When he was about to open the window, the boy woke up just enough to talk.

“Say you’ll call me… Or ‘thank you’, both are good.” His eyes didn’t look over to see him, Stiles let Derek be unseen, to go or not as he wanted, not pressuring him to talk by looking at him.

The alpha didn’t say anything after he stared at Stiles while he fell back asleep, then climbed back down the wall of his house. Once with his feet to the ground, he looked back at the window he closed behind himself as he got out.

In a thin line of voice, he whispered “thank you” and started walking towards the woods. Running back through them in the morning, he got to the loft by 6:30 AM. He made himself breakfast and thought about calling Stiles.

Yet, throughout the morning he didn’t pick up his phone…

Stiles woke up around 7 AM, his alarm didn’t go off but his mind did, urging him to come to his senses. He sat on the bed, stretched and went downstairs for breakfast, his steps feathered as his father was sleeping in his room, back from his shift.

While sipping his coffee, he trailed his stomach with his free hand until he saw his phone. He picked it up and sat by the dining table, unlocking it and staring at it, he found the wolf’s contact.

Their messages were most ‘come over’s and ‘ok’s. The waiting felt infinite, so he started writing a message himself after he figured out Derek wasn’t going to call him.

Send to: Derek. 7:51 AM 03/08/2012

I forgot to tell you that-

But he didn’t finish the sentence. He canceled everything and set the phone aside.

“If he wanna call me, he will.” Another sip of coffee went down his throat, his words were true to his spirit. He was going to be there for Derek, if he wanted him to be there.

‘I’ll be here if you call me.’

They both spent the day looking at their phones. No calls or texts arrived on either end.

Chapter Text

In the following months, Stiles didn’t expect anything much to happen. Apart from the alpha pack roaming in Beacon Hills and biting at their heels, he wasn’t expecting a call from Derek's number.

Surely, he didn’t expect it to happen more than once, always for the wrong reason. But he wouldn't trade it for anything, not if it meant being a good friend.

While in the loft, Cora, who had come to his senses a month prior and decided to stick around the pack, was rushing to do something to help his brother. Derek painfully shouted at her to call for someone.

“But who?” She didn’t know any of the people her brother did, no one came to mind at his solicitation and so he had to give her a name. “Take my phone.”

She made a run for it and found it on the kitchen table, paying no mind to why it was there. “Who do I call?” She unlocked it and went to the contacts list, waiting for a name to search for.

Derek tried to get a name that would actually do some help, someone able to help him and maybe also someone who would make some kind of good company.

“Stiles!” Shouting, the boy’s name came out his mouth. She looked at him in question, remembering who he was talking about.

“Call Stiles…” He was about to pass out but he didn’t. He couldn’t.

So, one evening, while he was doing research like any other day, his phone buzzed up and ‘sourwolf’ appeared on his screen. He picked it up and held it to his ear, he expected anything to be said, even silence knowing the other.

But what he couldn’t predict was Cora's voice on the other end.

— Stiles! Come to the loft as fast as you can, we need help!

Her voice rushed and frenetic gave the boy all the reason to yell on the phone and run down the stairs. His mind rushed with all the possibilities but he knew he had to get there first.

— Comin’!

It was a short-lived call but it passed the message: something happened at the loft and if not to Cora, who called him, it was about Derek.

After the last time Stiles saw him, the thought of the wolf not coming to his window anymore kept scratching the inside of his mind. He didn’t want that to happen. He had new information to share…

His Jeep came to life at the first try and he thanked whoever made that happen, after all it was nothing short of a miracle if anyone asked him. Shifting gears and going above the limit, he managed to get to the building in less than ten minutes.

Finding the building’s door open, he ran up flights of stairs two at the time. His arrival was met with Cora keeping the door of the loft open for him.

Their eyes were locked together as soon as he stepped inside. “What happened?” He didn’t have the time to greet her, he knew it would be just a waste of time considering how her voice sounded on the phone.

Her head turned towards the living room, holding her arms strangely, her body screaming with concern. Right in front of the door, he laid there and Stiles wondered how he could have missed him in the first place.

His mind quickly ran to the most obvious question that it could give birth to, ‘why call me? I’m not Deaton’ but it was cut short.

From what he could see as he stepped further inside, Derek was on hands and knees with a pipe through his chest, one end touching the floor and the other a meter above him.

Painful whimpers came from him, blood pooling below his mouth as he kept throwing up crimson. The image made the boy shiver.

Stiles ran by his side, kneeling down. Hands not knowing where to go, they flew all around him and soon Cora was by his side too. “What do we do?” His worry could be heard even without any supernatural hearing and the alpha told him the obvious while she was quiet.

“Just take it out…” His voice was strained and thin, Derek was running out of energy and the other two could tell right away.

Cora and Stiles looked at one another, then he spoke a more obvious question. “If that’s the right thing to do, then why didn’t she do it already?” Stiles looked at her, ‘you probably don’t know what will happen if you do, right?’

And just like that, she read straight through him and nodded, some unspoken agreement which held more than just insecurity.

“She has to go.” Was all Derek said and Stiles had the most dumbfounded expression he could master, nothing on earth could explain what he just heard.

“The hell you mean she has to leave?” His hands were on the ground, steadying him as he was crushed on his knees to look at the wolf. Stiles couldn’t believe a word he was hearing.

‘Why would your damn sister leave you like this?’ Stiles’ eyes were wide with the need of understanding. He knew family meant everything to Derek, so why would her leaving be of any help? And Cora was the one who gave him the answer he was desperate to know.

In fact, her voice filled the silence the alpha couldn't, all he could do was try to breathe. “Deucalion came here and did this. Derek pushed to make him promise I could leave and he accepted in good faith.”

Stiles looked at her and nodded. It was about family after all, it was Derek trying to protect the last bit of family he found and that he thought was dead all along.

His eyes had a gentleness she had never seen before and in his heart, she knew why Stiles was the one there with them and what his mind formed soon after was confirmation of it.

‘I get it, I’ll take care of this’ and she read it again. Something in their way of exchanging phantom words made him shiver.

She went towards the door and looked behind, his brother had eyes locked on the floor, “go” was all he said and Stiles had gentle eyes, “I’ll keep him alive.” That was his promise.

Then she was out the door. The boy looked at the wolf, “so, what do we do?” He found their situation a little too familiar, he found too occurring each time.

‘Why do you have to get hurt so many times in a row?’ But Derek talked over his thoughts. “Get it out,” yet Stiles felt like it wasn’t the right option. “What if it just makes it worse?”

Red eyes flashed his way but it wasn’t a warning, just a sign the alpha was about to lose it if Stiles didn’t do something about it.

“Fine, fine…” He stood back up, went by Derek’s side and faced him, his hands went around the metal tube in his back and he tried to be as gentle as possible with his grip around it.

Taking one deep breath after the other, his head gave him the worst image it could ever create: Derek’s body hitting the floor, motionless a few seconds after he took out the pipe.

The wolf could smell his hesitation, the fear and worry along with the pain, and his words were meant only to make it easier on Stiles. “It’s going to be okay” but his optimism was too fake even for the boy, otherwise the hole in his chest would be already healing on its own.

Stiles couldn’t do it, not without a little plan and the wolf’s attempts to make him do it weren’t working. Kneeling back by his side, they locked eyes and Derek wondered what he was going to do.

“I’ll get it out, then I’ll help you walk to the bed upstairs and we’ll see what to do from there, alright?” The wolf nodded, ‘there isn’t much else to do about this,’ was the little remark he kept to himself.

Back on his feet, the scene was the opposite one would be reading. Stiles wasn’t killing Derek with a metal bar through his back, which could be easily seen in their position. Much the other way, which maybe no one could even guess, the boy was about to save the wolf, again. And without their knowledge, it was becoming their usual routine…

His grip was solid on the metal despite his sweaty palms and with all the strength he could gather, he pulled the pole up until it was completely gone from Derek’s back. Stiles threw it to the side, hoping it might disappear and give them some peace.

He looked at it rolling away from them. It made a squeaking sound, going on its way on the floor as it left a long path of blood each time it rolled. Then, it finally hit a wall and let Stiles do something more important.

Eyes shifted aim when his ears heard Derek whimpering in pain, blood still coming out of his mouth along with the hole in his chest. Hands and knees shaking away every last drop of energy he had in his body.

But before he could collapse on the floor, Stiles was in front of him, pulling his arms around his neck. His best attempt was to tangle his arms around the wolf and somehow bring him upstairs.

‘I should probably hit the gym more if I can’t even drag you around when needed.’ He didn’t have time to think, more words hit his ears.

“What are you doing?” Muffled with blood, Derek’s words were blurred and almost incomprehensible, yet the boy caught them. “Tryin’ to keep you up, I ain’t got the strength to pull you up from the floor.”

It was the truth, Stiles couldn’t carry him up the stairs or pull him back on his feet. Not on his own, he needed a little teamwork.

Derek put all his remaining strength in his legs, pushing himself to stand, even barely, knowing it could help them both. “Thanks for the help, man. Hold onto me, I think I can do this now.”

And the wolf did. Weak arms went around his neck with intention and held the way broken glass would if glue was keeping it together.

Stiles didn’t say anything as one of his arms slid around the wolf’s waist and the other pushed them off the ground. Then, both of them were standing, Derek trembling and relying on the other, while the boy looked at his figure, broken and injured.

His instinct directed his free hand above the hole in the other’s chest to stop the blood, a mere force of habit, of trying to help.

Derek just looked at him in question and the boy retrieved his hand, muttering a quiet “sorry” and he then tried to make them both walk. Swiping one foot after the other on the floor, Derek managed to get a few correct steps once they were under the stairs.

Stiles looked at the man in silence, wondering whether or not they'll be able to make it upstairs. “It's alright” muttered Derek, trying to get the other to ease up for unknown reasons. It felt strange to Stiles’ ears.

After a few more seconds, they took the first few steps of the stairs, Stiles always holding Derek up and the wolf relying on the other for some support.

They made it upstairs, a tail of blood behind them which Stiles saw and stared at, ‘it looks like you aren’t going to make it, but your wolf healing shit will help’ emphasizes his mind. Derek waited for him in silence, not daring anything with how little energy he had left.

Soon enough, Stiles came back to his senses and walked them to the bedroom. “Wait here,” he told the wolf as he helped him sit on the edge of the bed. Derek places both arms by his sides, holding himself up.

‘Where am I supposed to go anyway?’ Derek let his thoughts be seen through his expression and Stiles read it just well, his response was a downwards smile as he walked out the door.

Then it hit him. He came back into the room, looked at the wolf, sat on his bed covered in blood and made his question. “You have a first aid kid, right? where is it?” Derek stared at him, eyes almost empty and tired of being awake.

Stiles noticed a thin line of light in his irises and wondered again a futile thought, ‘why me?’

“Bathroom.” The word came flat out his mouth and Stiles didn’t blame him for it. He went in and out the bedroom, with the aid kit in his hands, shaking slightly.

He sat on the bed next to the wolf. Once opened, the aid kit by his side looked brand new and it wasn’t much of a surprise. “Do you know what you are doing?” Derek asked when Stiles had a dazed stare in his eyes.

“Just trust me a little” and the wolf stared at him, ‘strangely, I do…’

Stiles took out the steel box all he needed, putting bandages and scissors next to himself, ready to be used. Derek let him do and spoke no words, appreciating the help silently.

Before doing anything though, he had to take off the wolf’s shirt. “You gotta take this off” was all the boy said regarding it while he pulled at the hem one the sleeve with two fingers that retrieved soon after.

The wolf looked at him with some type of worry in his eyes and Stiles thought of the obvious once again, “I’ll close my eyes.”

He couldn’t find a reason why Derek would be shy about taking off his shirt, ‘perhaps it’s about the pain?’ But it wasn’t any of his business and he knew.

Eyes closed and covered by his hands, his head was towards the door. Only his ears caught the motion of the shirt being tossed aside.

Tentative eyes then found Derek and he seemed more okay than earlier, Stiles made his way back by simply turning his head towards him. The wolf was sitting the same way as a few moments earlier, like the shirt had disappeared on its own.

Brown eyes couldn’t help but stare at the hole in the alpha’s chest, which went from side to side. He could see the window behind the wolf in there. The feeling he got from it was too familiar to a horror movie.

It throbbed with blood at every inhale Derek took. There were strings of muscle connecting back together, like a spiderweb sewing the wolf back together. He felt the need to touch it to see if it was real, but he kept himself from doing it.

Somehow, it obviously looked painful and unsettling but the wolf didn’t, like it was something completely normal. Still, Stiles could tell there was something more, ‘I know what you are hiding’ but he didn’t push it.

Simply trying to understand what to do, the other gave him a little advice. “Just cover it up, it’ll heal on its own” and Stiles was tempted to not believe him if he didn’t know the man was actually a supernatural being.

Bandages were soon around Derek's chest as he was sitting still to let Stiles do what he needed, making a white patch of gauze in the middle of his torso.

Once he finished the fourth round all around him, he cut it and tucked the end under the rest, making sure it wasn't loose.

Stiles was amazed at how calm Derek was, but he didn’t leave out the fact he might just be exhausted after what just happened to him. After all, blood loss affects every single living being.

“You should rest. Lay down.” Said the boy, but if putting the bandage around him was easy, arguing he needed rest was on another level of debate.

The hole in his chest wasn’t healing as fast as they expected, Stiles could tell by the wolf’s expression of disbelief and shame. And Derek wasn't in the mood to do everything he was told, he felt like he'd done enough.

His eyes told Stiles everything he needed to know, from the undying ‘I'm fine’ to the ‘leave me alone’ but both had something the boy knew was fake.

“Derek, lay down.” Stiles tried again, deciding to stand by the bed with crossed arms in front of the wolf, hoping his poor attempt of looking menacing would work.

But it didn't, he knew it the moment he tried and the red eyes he got back in response said enough.

Stiles puffed his chest, he was done with playing nice. “You either lay down on your own or I make you.” The threat had nothing in it that made Derek crumble, but if he wanted to be honest with himself, he could just oblige and do as Stiles wanted. After all, he knew the boy wasn’t going to give up on that.

Huffing and making as many annoyed sounds as possible, the alpha laid down on the bed as if he was about to read a book. He knew he was getting on Stiles’ slim nerves.

So, with the most ‘seriously?’ expression he could master, Stiles looked at the wolf with a stare close to the one Derek had for them when he and Scott stepped on his dear private property.

But he let it fall, neither of them were in the mood to go full on arguing with one another. So he just stood there, now his figure less imposing and let himself be simply Stiles.

And what could be more Stiles-coded than asking what first came to mind when he stepped inside the loft?

“So…” The wolf had eyes on him immediately, waiting. “Why did you call me? Well, why did you ask Cora to call me?”

Silence filled the room, Stiles was just being his usual curious self and Derek was trying to brush it off as his usual self would, but he felt strange. Stiles’ presence was strange.

The wolf didn't even blink and Stiles was getting worried, “you're not having a heart attack, are you?” And his arms fell to his sides, already reaching for the bed, but he stopped. Derek took a deep breath and it was enough to calm down the other.

‘I don't know how to answer you,’ was the best he could come up with to answer him, but surely Stiles wasn't going home with that and the wolf was aware of that.

“I was sure you were available.”

The most poorly crafted lie in the history of lies the wolf could ever come up with and Derek knew Stiles could tell. Yet he hoped he wouldn't push it further, he really did and his eyes fell to the floor in defeat.

And what he got back had nothing short of bewilderment. “Sorry, what?” Stiles didn’t say anything else, his face did him justice and it got Derek to look him in the eyes.

Nothing could be said to save the conversation, the wolf was hurt and wasn’t going to budge, Stiles was annoyed but understanding. Somehow he always was. Especially with Derek.

“Fine, whatever” ended their chit chat and the alpha had relief wash over him. Lately, the boy felt strange around him, his scent hit his nostrils differently, his body language seemed off but only towards him.

Everything was in the right place at the wrong time, at least that was his conclusion. He started to notice all of that only after Erica was gone. Before, nothing ever felt strange.

Only after she was gone he started to catch himself searching for Stiles more often, each time with less reasonable explanations… But Derek didn’t say anything else about it, letting the unknown truth be untold by them both, because apparently that was how it was.

And when Stiles’ voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Rest big guy, I'll be downstairs for some time.” Was the last thing he told the grumpy, injured wolf on the bed and walked out to take the stairs.

From his room, Derek could hear Stiles turning on the TV and lowering the volume, watching some movie that sounded like a romantic comedy or something similar.

His eyes went to the ceiling and he wished the world was quiet, his mind couldn’t create anything that didn’t lead him to the boy in his living room.

‘What the hell is going on with you?’ And the wolf was sure the problem was Stiles’ and that he had nothing to do with it.

Almost a full hour went by, neither of them went to check on the other.

And if Stiles had his eyes glued to the screen but his mind was wandering on every hill he could master to create about ‘why you freaking called me?’ Derek's eyes were beginning to drift away, his own head filled with nothing else than incoherent thoughts as sleep was coming at him.

Because despite being a werewolf, rest was mandatory to heal no matter the species and he knew that as well, even though he was trying to push it away and stay awake without much success.

A few minutes later, he slowly laid on his side and pulled the covers over his body, demanding the warmth they provided him. He gave up on trying to decipher whatever his mind was throwing at him.

Meanwhile, things were different downstairs.

Stiles was staring at the pool of blood on the floor while the TV quietly muttered whatever was going on with the world. He felt like he was looking at a picture of ‘the remains of Derek Hale’ as if it was a painting in a museum.

‘Can you not get hurt for once?’ He complained while he searched for a bucket and a mop to clean it up. In a corner near the door that led to the balcony, he found a little space filled with some cleaning products.

Taking the mop and bucket, he chose ammonia and bleach to clean it up. He knew it would reek in the morning but maybe leaving a few windows open could help with the smell, at least he hopes so.

So, everything he found was soon set on the floor of the living room, while the bucket was being filled with water.

When it reached the brim, Stiles put both cleaning products in the water, then mixed everything with the mop. ‘Why the hell do I feel like I’m cooking soup?’

And he cracked a silly smile tainted with sadness. He hoped the wolf upstairs didn’t hear or smell what he was doing.

Once the mix was ready, or better to say, his mind was, the mop hit the floor.

Like any scene he’d seen in every horror movie, he felt like the cleaning lady mopping the already clean looking floor just to add some life to the creepy scene ahead. Only difference? His floor was soaked with blood and it pulled every single string in his heart.

Derek may not have been one of his longest friends, but Stiles felt like they mattered to each other, like they could notice something more in one another than anyone else.

Which seemed fit since he was cleaning his blood off the floor and it made him feel like that was the proof of their connection. Because he knew, deep down, ‘being available’ meant something more, something the wolf wasn’t going to tell him.

And he didn’t blame him for it. Stiles knew the taciturn attitude of the other towards everyone and he knew it was no different for him.

Yet, he also knew he could get more out of him if he found the right way, if he managed to get a way in his heart, just a little. But as his eyes stared at the water diluting the crimson to a more transparent shade, his mind stopped working.

Mopping mindlessly, he put every thought aside and let it all go. ‘Another time’ was always his best answer whenever his brain wanted to get to know the wolf better…

The floor was just soaked then, no more blood, just bleach and ammonia covering it all up. The bucket’s water was almost impossible to see as the night was around the corner and he didn't turn on any light before he started cleaning.

He decided to leave it that way as the wind coming from the windows hit his back, he only left the TV’s screen on to give the room some life. Then, it was time to clean up what he used.

Picking up the bucked and walking towards the guest bathroom, he emptied it all in the toilet, flashing it before heading out and washing the mop in the sink. Once everything was clean, he put all the items back where he found them while he heard a sound coming from his lower torso.

His stomach needed something else to concentrate on so he went to the only place that could help him ease everything up for the time ahead, just a little, just enough.

Stiles inspected his kitchen, trying to get something good to eat before the end of the ads on the TV’s screen. ‘What the hell do you eat?’ But he knew it was probably take outs or the groceries had been running late in the past few days.

He hoped it wasn’t weeks…

Once snacks were found, the couch welcomed him back and the comedy went back on screen but it wasn’t like he was paying attention to it. He let time pass.

Another hour went by, the film was over and so were his thoughts, exhaustion was claiming him too. ‘Just a little check and I’ll go’ was all he cared about as he went to Derek’s room.

Steps feathered and silent to make sure he wouldn't wake him up if he was asleep, he went upstairs. The door was already slightly opened and one hand pushed on it to show the room further.

The alpha was asleep and he was glad for it. No words came out his mouth, ‘supernatural hearing… Just rest, big guy, I’ll be around if you need me.’ Was his little ‘good night’ text for the other but he didn’t step out immediately after.

His eyes followed the line his body beneath the sheets, his shoulder and hip way higher than his waist as he laid on his side. Stiles never looked at him that way, he thought that maybe he shouldn’t.

But a few moments later, once he was done pulling his eyes back from staring at the other, he stepped out swearing to never talk about it and closed the door behind himself, walking down the stairs back in the living room.

Scanning the room for any reason to stay, he found none and decided to leave, also because the clock was about to hit 10 PM and his father was about to be back home. He didn't want to have to explain what caused him to get home late.

He didn’t want to wake up Derek’s memories in his mind, he felt like it was sacrilegious to do it, as if the wolf would know he talked about him. As if those red eyes would wake him up in the night if Stiles said his name as an excuse to his father.

But before he left the loft, his mind gave him the brilliant idea to leave a note for the wolf to find once he was awake.

Searching and finding a piece of paper and a pen, he felt lucky to find them in some forgotten box under the TV’s stand. He scrapped the best piece of paper with his best handwriting, simply because he remembered the wolf once telling him how awful it was to read his research.

‘I have to get home to my dad, you still have some snacks in the fridge

and why the hell you don’t have anything else in the kitchen?!

Anyway, hope you get better soon,

I’ll be ‘available’ if you call… sourwolf.

Bye. S.’

The note found its place on the kitchen’s table, the pen on it to make sure it would stay there through the night, especially since he left all the windows open to get rid of the smell of the chemical soup on the floor.

Then, Stiles looked again all around himself one last time, he felt like he was leaving the place forever and he couldn’t make himself feel any other way, so he simply went out the loft and closed the door.

Down in the parking lot, he went to his beloved Jeep and started it with a few failed tries. In around twenty minutes he was back home just like his father, who immediately asked him where he was. The only answer that came to Stiles’ mind was “just helping out a friend” but it felt wrong. His chest felt thigh and his head dizzy.

He excused himself and went straight to bed, not even eating dinner. Just sleep could comfort whatever ache he had in his limbs and for some reason, he felt out of place. Yet, the night gave him the comfort of a roof to cover him from the eyes of the world.

On the other hand, Derek was waking up in the middle of the night, 3 AM on the clock on the nightstand. He stood up and the ache in his chest was the first thing he noticed. More than anything, he felt its absence.

Tearing off the bandages, the hole in his chest was almost completely gone, just a little web of skin was left of Deucalion’s passing.

He went downstairs after he had put on a clean shirt. His ears perked up at the silence, somehow too quiet despite it being its prerogative. His eyes searched the room for a slim figure to sleep, but no one was there.

The couch was empty and cold, Stiles’ scent was already fading away since the windows were all open. It made his neck itchy and one hand went to cover a side of it, he gave it no thought.

Hunger then came to him, his stomach empty and demanding something to eat, so he went into the kitchen. His eyes immediately found the fridge, inside it he searched for something he wouldn’t mind eating in the late hours of the night.

He found a protein bar, something he kept around just in case he wanted a snack. Taking the first bite, he noticed a piece of paper on the table.

Picking it up, he knew it was Stiles’. The scrappy handwriting despite the effort, the ‘sourwolf’ which only he used, the fading scent of… His mind didn’t know, so he just read the note instead.

A small, affectionate huff found his way out while reading it and he did nothing to stop it. The loneliness of the loft gave him some kind of safety, to be unseen and alive the way he never could after the fire. He put the note back on the table, making a mental one of his own to store it somewhere, just as a reminder of…

‘Whatever.’

Standing there in the kitchen, taking bites of a random snack, his eyes closed once again.

The hole in his chest was gone, that was for sure, but another one cracked open nearby…

Chapter Text

Many weeks later, Stiles got another call, but it wasn’t the same number. It was Scott’s.

Laying on his bed on a quiet Saturday night, his phone rang its usual ringtone, personalized just for his best friend with a wolf howling from a comedy horror movie from the 90s’. The ceiling had caught his eyes as he talked on the phone with his friend, wondering what might’ve happened.

— Stiles, we are back from a fight, come to the loft, we are waiting for you.

He let the words sink in for a few seconds, wondering and hoping everyone was alright. His mind ran the miles his legs couldn’t at that moment and it went straight to him. ‘Tell me you aren’t dead.’ But little did he know about what actually happened, which was even more of a reason to go.

— I’m on my way.

Before he hung up the call, his mouth spoke before he could stop it. He needed just a little reassurance he wasn’t going to find a dead body on a table or someone with injuries only Deaton could do something about.

— Is everyone okay?

It took Scott longer than usual to answer. Stiles definitely noticed but waited patiently. No other option was available.

— …yeah.

Stiles could tell there was something off in the way he answered, but he simply decided to end the call and take his Jeep. ‘Better find out for myself’ and the engine started on the first try. It seemed too odd, like anytime something was wrong, the can of metal he was in would know about it.

But he paid it no mind. It was just a car. A very old, battled-up car.

On his way there, taking turns and trying not to get run over by some semi trucks, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander. He desperately needed something to do and he had an idea, one which ended up being dismissed as soon as it was born: calling Derek.

‘Maybe it’s better if I find you myself,’ he decided as he let his mind wander again. Thoughts of their times together occupied his mind as he ran a freshly turned green light, thinking that if Derek needed him, he would certainly call him.

That was because, for some reason Stiles couldn’t really wrap his head around, their trust in each other was beginning to grow exponentially anytime they spent time together taking care of one another. ‘Or well, me taking care of you, but who cares about the details.’

He drove through the late hours of the evening, the sun was slowly descending back into its home and the soft breeze let him know in advance about the moon’s arrival. The road was empty at that time of the day and he thanked his Jeep for not dying on him.

Once he finally made it to the loft, Jeep in the parking lot and knuckles hitting the front door to get someone to open, he was somehow excited to hear what happened, all the while hoping no one was seriously harmed. Allison opened the door for him, they greeted with a tender smile.

They went back to the living room, illuminated by the dim glow of the light outside. They soon would need to turn on the lights, although there wasn’t much to see anyway. The place was adorned only with a table in its space. Couch and TV pushed in a corner for someone else to put back in place.

He scanned the room with his eyes, taking notes of whoever was there. He looked at each of the people in front of his eyes, most of them standing near the table.

Scott, Allison, Isaac, Lydia and Peter. Derek wasn’t among them and he was already worried about it, but he put his mind at ease regardless. He couldn’t be worried about something he didn’t know anything about, right?

‘Maybe he’s gonna show up like he usually does…’

But as he looked around and scanned their bodies, everything made him alert. Lydia and Allison were out of it just like he was, both of them seemingly waiting for something as they stood with folded arms, while Isaac seemed exhausted but not entirely worried. And along all of that, Peter looked off. Like he was able to feel some kind of concern.

The old wolf sitting by the stairs with sickening eyes was enough of a sight to signal to Stiles that something really went wrong. And whatever it was, he was going to get to the bottom of it.

Then he focused on Scott, last but not least of his list, with eyes demanding to know as he seemed the calmest among them all.

“So, what happened, Scott?” His best friend just looked at him and then the floor, lowering his head in distress. Somehow a werewolf could be scared of a human if that human was Stiles. A Stiles who knew about his friend’s dislike for the alpha, which had gotten worse since Scott had probably noticed how close he had gotten to Derek.

Looking at his feet, the wolf knew there was no turning back from it, he could tell Stiles wasn’t going to back down as he was just getting started. He also knew there could be something more to it, so he started talking.

“Me, Isaac and Derek had a fight with Deucalion and the other alphas in an abandoned mall.” Stiles’ ears perked up, he didn’t know anything about it and he figured the girls and Peter didn’t either.

They all looked shocked, maybe it was the first time Scott had told them what happened. Or maybe they just knew a minor detail about Derek. The boy had no way to know.

Stiles had eyes focused just on the beta in front of him by the time silence was back between them all. The girls wanted to know more about what happened and Peter always seemed more off. ‘Maybe he feels something since they are family’ and with that he had all the more reason to stare at Scott.

“Go on” was more of a demand than anything else coming from the worried boy standing in front of the wolf, arms folded waiting while his mind was raging with possibilities.

The flat tone in which Scott spoke made him hardener. “The fight ended with Ennis being dead once we were done.” And Stiles didn’t care, it wasn’t what he wanted to know. He was going to need to dig deeper into his dear friend.

There was only one of them missing and it wasn’t a coincidence, he could feel it and the signs from the wolves in the room were enough of a warning. Especially since Isaac seemed to stick closer to Scott...

He came closer to his friend, taking a few steps and looking in his eyes as if to dare him to flash them yellow at him just to intimidate him, like he had a care in the world about the whole argument of ‘who’s the leader now?’

“Where is he, Scott?” The demand was clear, voice as flat but cursed as possible and so was Scott’s long stare into Stiles’ eyes.

They both knew the wolf had some problems with the elephant in the room, it was clear as day at that point. Stiles didn’t even need the other to say a word about it, he knew his best friend. But his silence was nothing short of cruel if anyone asked him about it.

The boy even had time to wonder about how much someone could be so inconsiderate of someone else’s life. How much he’d had to fight his friend to get him to grasp the concept of ‘he might not be your friend, but he’s surely mine.’

Stiles had to huff on purpose to get him to go on and in the most annoyed tone Stiles had ever heard, Scott finally spoke.

“Why do you even care, Stiles?”

He didn’t move a finger as he let the words float out like putrid blood from an infected cut. Stiles felt something shatter in him, debating his care for Derek and his friendship with Scott wasn’t something he wanted to do at that moment.

But the boy didn’t budge a single bit anyway, he couldn’t. Standing in front of him, Stiles was waiting for the other to have the gut to say what happened, why one of them was missing. And he bit again at the wolf’s silence.

“Where is Derek?”

The two guys stared at one another, Peter was the only other person that seemed to want an answer but Stiles didn’t blame the girls, they weren’t present at the fight anyway and maybe they didn’t even know Derek’s whereabouts.

Then, as everyone was waiting for an answer, Peter stood up and got closer to Scott from where he was sitting on the stairs, arms crossed and eyes firm. His movements got Isaac on alert, who eyed him but said nothing.

Stiles could tell the hint of worry the older wolf’s eyes held as he stood a few inches away from the young wolf’s side. “Tell us, Scotty boy. Where is my nephew?”

In his mind, Stiles made sure to pinpoint the moment he thought the old wolf was able to care about someone other than himself. And if things were set to go on like they were in that moment, he made sure to remember about Peter’s subtle changes.

Scott looked at them both, then stopped his eyes to stare solidly in Stiles’ own. That small detail gave him away and he knew. He had no other choice than to speak and if Allison wasn’t jumping in to push them apart, things weren’t going to get any easier.

Sighing, the wolf ran a hand on his forehead as if perplexed, the other on his hip for emphasis as he broke eye contact. Stiles wasn’t going to buy the act of being worried, because if he was they would be with Derek at that exact same moment. But they weren’t, they were arguing in the loft about it.

Scott looked around, no one was on his side apart from Isaac, who seemed to shy away from him just slightly. Stiles noted that as well, but he let it go. He had something else to think about.

The beta was back to look into Stiles’ eyes, nothing in them was kind or gentle, everything was hard and frustrated. Scott’s stubbornness was making his nerves ticklish and funny. In fact, his hands turned into fists hidden in his crossed arms, but he tried to stay calm as he spoke.

“Talk.”

His attempt to seem calm didn’t work as the words sounded bitter since he was talking through clenched teeth, which got everyone's attention. At that, Scott let his arms fall limp to his sides. He didn’t even have the decency to say it all in one go, but he spoke regardless.

“We left him there…”

Stiles felt adrenaline rush through him. Fists getting tighter, words were gritted through teeth as he spoke. “What did you just say?” His eyes were wide and in them everyone could read how insensible he thought Scott’s words were.

But then he noticed Peter was slowly walking back, his arms long by his side with his head low, as if he had no other option than to accept what he had just heard.

The boy let his anger flow out and his hands were white but relaxed. He observed the old wolf going back to the stairs and claiming back his seat there. He followed every movement with captive eyes as his arms fell by his sides as well.

Then he noticed someone up the stairs, above Peter. A slim figure was somehow resting with open eyes, like there was nothing that could possibly be done to change whatever situation Stiles was trying to hear about.

Cora was looking at him, rage almost blinding her vision. He knew for who the anger was.

Both of the Hales in the loft seemed spent to the boy’s eyes, as if a little light inside of them had worn off and they were picking up the pieces left around. Stiles pierced his gaze back on Scott, with eyebrows raised to solicit him to talk. And he gave in.

“He was the one who fought with Ennis, but…”

Scott hesitated once more and it drove the boy up the wall. The wolf didn’t want to lose a friend, surely not for a selfish alpha that managed to get his way through Stiles.

Because in Scott’s eyes, Derek was just another bossy guy coming out of the woods at night and scaring them to death, so why would Stiles care about him? That was his question and he honestly thought the answer could be ‘to waste time,’ but Stiles wasn’t like that.

So, why?

Scott thought of a way to bring up the question to his friend, how to ask him ‘why do you give a crap about the guy who caused all of this?’ But before he could talk, his dear friend was getting fed up with his useless worries and brought him back to the present.

“Scott, go on.”

Stiles didn’t let him waste another minute of his time. He knew he had to get to that mall as soon as possible, but he wanted his friend to tell him the damn truth first.

The look in his friend’s eyes told the beta that it was going to be useless, to try and change his mind, because Stiles was going to get Derek. And Scott had to tell him everything whether he liked it or not. Or Stiles would plow the words out his throat and the young wolf was aware the boy was more than capable of doing that.

Then Scott just took a deep breath and let the last part out, like he was finally done paying off a debt. It all came out in one line of breath, strangled at the end.

“In the fight, he threw Ennis off the escalators and he fell with him.”

Stiles felt his ears ringing, his vision unfocused. ‘How can someone be so cruel? Especially you!’ He thought of his best friend being kind towards people and he couldn't understand where all his hatred was coming from. Why he was so opposed to Derek.

He thought that even if Scott didn’t like Derek very much, that wasn’t the best reason to leave him there to suffer alone. It was plain cruel and it didn’t make Stiles any less dizzy as he pondered his friend’s feelings.

His eyes scanned the room then, without any purpose, just because he needed something to do as he could feel his legs wanting to run far away, where he could do some help.

Lydia was standing near Allison, both of them were silent and cryptic, but both were worried in their own way. Isaac was barely behind Scott at that point. After Peter came closer earlier, the young wolf decided to tap out for the night.

He also noticed that the old wolf and Cora seemed even more tired once Scott told everyone what happened to Derek. The two Hales had something in their features resembling resignation, but the boy wasn’t going to give up. He couldn’t.

His eyes were soon back on his best friend, whose head hung high but with tremors. Stiles stared with an accusatory gaze at the other, and his mind said what his mouth couldn’t. ‘You ain’t got any right to treat people like disposable puppets…’ But he kept his harsh words and spoke something else.

“Gimme the address of the mall.”

He didn't even watch as Scott wrote it on a piece of paper and handed it to him. He had no interest in him as he read the address. The mall was on the other side of the city, where the suburbs met the bridge to go out of town.

Stiles remembered the place very well. His mom used to take him there when it was still open and she was still alive…

‘You…’

He held the paper in a fist, knuckles going white. He wasn’t going to let anyone die in that mall. Not when he could avoid it. If not his mother, he could do something to help Derek. Anything could save him, no matter whatever injuries he had.

In his veins he felt the urge to get there, like the man was calling for him to go and get him. He didn’t know what that feeling exactly was, yet he wanted to follow it regardless. But as he was thinking about leaving, his eyes stopped him.

His irises fell on Peter. The man didn't even blink, just sat by the first step of the stairs, emotionless in a way he’d never seen before. Cora was a few steps up from him, hovering above Stiles with her eyes. ‘Go and save my brother’ was written in her tight fists under her chin.

For some reason, she wanted him to go. Like he was family to them.

Then she stood up, unexpectedly, and everyone had their eyes on her, but she didn’t care. She walked until she was in front of Stiles, her words sounded low near his ear and he almost didn’t get what she said. “I’ve noticed you got close to him… If you hurt my brother, I’ll hunt you down personally.”

When she retraced some of her steps, leaving some space between them, Stiles saw in her eyes something akin to caring for Derek and he understood her threat wasn’t a warning at all.

‘Just do your thing with him,’ she meant to say with her angry eyes, and for another bunch of reasons, the boy felt fear mixed with understanding running through his body.

Cora went back up the stairs, not even bothering to meet eyes with Peter and keeping her gaze locked on Stiles. She wanted to see what he’d do for her brother and Stiles didn’t disappoint her as he spoke. He felt like something was just being placed on his shoulder, but it wasn’t a burden.

His voice broke the heavy silence that found its way between them all.

“Don’t bother calling me, I’ll do everything on my own.” His message was loud and clear, Scott didn’t say anything back as Stiles walked out the door in a hurry, eyes on him one last time. In the beta's expression, something told the boy about his dislike for his friendship with Derek, but he gave it no thought.

‘I care for him and that's enough. If I'm on my own when it comes to him, so be it.’

His mind set everything else aside, making his life’s purpose to bring the wolf back home while he walked down the stairs. With adrenaline pumping through his bloodstream and eyes scanning everywhere, he reached the parking lot and started the Jeep, driving off towards the mall.

The ride was endless and the sky was beginning to fade into darker tones of blues and yellows. Rays of a darkening sun shone above the horizon line, directly into his eyes, blinding him and stealing the way to his destination. But he pushed through as the night was making itself at home in the sky above him.

He drove restlessly. He hoped Derek wasn’t fading to pitch darkness in that building, alone and left there to go unnoticed. He didn’t want to dig another grave. For anyone…

After a little less than a quarter hour, his Jeep was parked in the underground parking space. The one on the floor level was filled with greens coming out of all the crevices in the pavement as nature had claimed back its land.

Out of the driver's seat and into the space surrounding him, the place was just like he remembered it despite the tons of dust everywhere and the passage of time being more than simply visible. Faded lines made the parking spots, plants coming out of the cracks in the cement beneath his feet marked the way of mother nature.

The low ceiling had dangling webs and tangled ivy on it, another sort of carpet that had made its way from the floor above. Every inch of cement was cracked and resilient, but unfit to be of any structural use.

The smell of closed air and rotten things made him cough, it stung his nostrils and he had to rub his face with the back of his hand to alleviate the feeling of needles piercing his nose.

The silence engulfing the place was spectral. He heard something steady and buzzing, as if there was a low, persistent frequency going off in his ears. The sound gave the place its surreal look of horror along with the promise of radio silence, which gave Stiles goosebumps on arms and neck.

He tried to walk but his eyes were unable to see much, nothing served as light if not the Jeep’s headlights, which he left on despite turning off the engine. But he had to go.

‘Where are you?’

His mind only wondered about one thing and his legs started to move on their own, directing him to the main floor of the mall as his eyes adapted with time. His journey through the darkness of the unruled place he once loved to visit every so often with his mother had just begun…

He moved with an arched back, sticking closer to the ground, but with frantic movements, ready to run away from danger if necessary. Hands were ready to grab or punch, depending on the situations, while his feet were solid on the floor. He knew things were set to be scary.

The place wasn’t welcoming and his staying wasn’t going to be pleasant, but he needed to find his dear friend and bring him back home. The parking lot underground was the first thing he had to get over with, so he moved.

Up falling stairs and opening unhinged doors which fell to his feet, asking for forgiveness for their innocent prisoner, Stiles pushed through decades of loneliness and dusty memories. He wondered if the main floor of the mall was going to be a splendid example of humans’ unfit behavior for nature’s ways.

And once he got there, inside the graveyard he didn’t want to consecrate, his eyes went all around the place with awe and fear. The space was something more than shades of blues and blacks, everything looked sealed in time.

He turned all around, in the middle of the only central valley of the mall, surrounded by decay and useless shops. He searched for something to follow and his eyes picked up a trace of light. He went towards it with cautious steps as he fought the crippling anxiety in his chest.

Down the main line of shops, his mind revived the place with memories, lights and people with big smiles. But there was nothing of it anymore. His eyes searched for something that could guide him to Derek, all the while following the increasing light ahead. He just needed some sounds, some trays of fights, footprints on the dust on the floor.

Walking as he searched, everything was faded. Banners were washed-out, some dangling as the screws were rusty and weak. Shop-window panes were broken with sharp dusty edges and covered with moldy spots. Trash was in every corner of the space, like people exited the place in a hurry and bumped into the bins, making them fall to the ground.

His steps were small but quick, eyes were viciously inspecting the place.

Barber shops had mold on their seats, bakeries had cold ovens and empty shelves. Clothing stores were nothing more than desolated areas for homeless people, who apparently didn’t want to live there anymore as the trace of their passing was fading.

The playground was an orphanage of savoring times for kids and mothers, with toys abandoned on the floor and feeding bottles in the trash cans. But he kept walking, urging his mind to withdraw the memories of his mom.

‘I can’t now… She would’ve wanted me to do this, he needs me to do this right now.’

And then, he finally reached the main characteristic of the building. The reason he remembered how to navigate the place so well.

In front of his eyes, stood the only two escalators of the whole place, imposing and with the signature of decay all over them. The scene was breathtaking and maybe for all the wrong reasons.

The ceiling of the second floor had collapsed long before his arrival, above it the tender light of the young moon casted a gloom above half of the massive project of the human kind.

The only wall that had been constructed to make a room directly by the side of one of the escalators, cracked and weakened by time, was meant to hold the maintenance room. But of that project, there was just one wall, the one that seemed to follow the line of the side of the machinery above it.

It seemed like a support of sorts for the weak escalator, while the other was left to itself. Stiles also noticed the strange game of light the sky above was playing.

The escalator that went up was lighter thanks to the moon’s blessing, while the one that went down was dark, barely reflecting any light from the other counterpart. He got closer to the night’s favorite, which was the one with the weak wall beneath, and searched with dilated eyes, trying to see as much as possible.

Steps broken or missing, rusty metal plaques on the bottom and broken, opaque glass on the sides. Still nothing guided him elsewhere, nothing told him where he could find Derek in that desolated place.

But when he got even closer, those few more steps cleared his vision and favored his journey. The illuminated escalator had all the signs he was searching for: dust being moved around, punches that didn’t land correctly and above all, the only thing that broke his hopes just a little bit.

On the only escalator with some light on it out of the two, towards the middle of the steps, Ennis laid lifeless, blood pooled beneath him.

Stiles felt the need to be more quiet at the sight of the pale body, as if he could come back to life and do more damage. He didn’t want any more trouble or things to worry about since he still had Derek to find. And it was the dead body on the stairs to indicate the path he’d have to take.

Because once he got even closer to satisfy his curiosity, going up the steps and inspecting the body and its injuries, in the dark which enveloped the other set of stairs, there was a small tray of blood he could’ve never had seen from below.

He knew it wasn’t Ennis’. For some reason he just did and it didn’t take him more than a second to follow the line of crimson. From the escalator, it went back down on the floor. He followed it with small steps.

The path guided him around half the enlightened escalator, for then disappearing into the shadows behind the moving stairs. He wondered if it would lead him towards the shops the darkness was hiding, but the line seemed to go towards the wall, on the opposite end of where he was.

He kneeled down, eyes taking in the details of the blood. The dotted line seemed wiped on the floor, like someone dragged himself as best he could.

Silently, he got back up and his feet reached the valley of darkness separating him from the wall. The shadow of the stairs was massive, it swallowed everything in it, an endless hole of black which gave him goosebumps all over his pale skin.

One foot after the other, he had to gather all the courage he could manage to step into it, especially because he then noticed the tray of blood couldn't be followed anymore.

‘Where the hell did you make your den?’

Mind portraying horrifying sights for him, his foot stepped into the darkness and soon enough his whole body was immersed in it too. Nothing helped him navigate the shadows, he just knew where it started and where it ended, until something caught his attention.

By his side, he saw something flashing a faded red, but it went away the second Stiles turned his head towards it. Yet, he understood it came from whatever was behind the stairs, maybe a bench, maybe a pillar. He didn’t remember what was there, and there was no way of knowing if someone had put something there in the past.

Slowly, his muscles ached with tension as he decided to go over there. After all, it was the only option available since there was no other bloody path anywhere else.

His eyes couldn’t see anything, nor could his ears help anyhow. Small steps and shaky breaths gave him away to fear, but he fought it off as he had someone to bring back home.

And while blind and deaf, he hoped nothing would jump on his neck to kill him. At that moment, the fading red came back from the same spot, but it didn’t carry any sound with it.

So, the idea of the moment, brilliant as always, was to call out for whoever or whatever was there with him. Just something good and old Stiles would do without a second thought.

“Someone? It’s just Stiles…”

He didn’t want to startle whoever was hiding in the shadow, but he hoped he was someone he was friends with. Then pale red rings greeted him for more than a split second, nothing in them screamed of threat and he was glad for it.

His mind ran the only way he needed. “Derek, is that you?” And Stiles received back a more vivid pair of rings, somehow buzzing like a red light turning on and off repeatedly.

Stiles’ body moved on its own, going towards him, kneeling by his side and turning his phone’s flashlight on. ‘Wait…’

He stared at the phone in his hand, said nothing and thought to himself. ‘Fuck me man, I had this all along.’ But he quickly got back to Derek and spoke silly words to him, just to ease the mood and wash away the disappointment he had with himself.

“Hey big guy, Stiles came to the rescue.”

The light gave his human eyes a chance to see Derek. How he just laid there, back resting onto something, one hand covering his side. Stiles could also see how bad his injuries were. Deep cuts in his left shoulder and more of them on his right side, shirt soaked with blood and his eyes were back to their natural green color.

He wasn’t shifted into his wolf. He was just laying there patiently, as if waiting for something to happen.

“What are you doing here, Stiles?” Derek asked, but he didn’t mind having him there. The wolf couldn’t ask for better help than Stiles', but he still wanted to know how and why he was there. And also why he was alone.

The answer he got back had nothing sweet in it, but so did the situation and they were about to work on it.

“Scott told me what happened after I made him talk, then I ran straight here to get you.”

It sounded like the most simple, easy thing to do coming out of Stiles’ mouth and Derek started to wonder why the boy would run miles just to get to him.

‘Do you care about me?’ But he didn’t have it in himself to ask Stiles about it.

And he didn’t even need to. Derek’s eyes spoke to Stiles the words he didn’t want to share and the boy had such a soft expression that made the wolf calm and docile.

Stiles thought he’d never get used to the Hales’ way of exchanging words without emitting a single sound.

“I care for you, we are friends.” He said with a smirk. “Why wouldn't I care about you?” His question wasn’t meant to have an answer, but the alpha couldn’t find any words to say anyway. And so the boy spoke again.

“Let’s do this again?” Stiles changed his smirk with a calm smile, while his scent was filled with silent words of reassurance Derek dived into. “We can’t do much else, can we?” And his lips had a painful smile of their own, but the boy knew the wolf was just trying to make him think about something other than his injuries.

Derek knew Stiles was already analyzing them, figuring out what bandages to put around him. But that would come with its time, they still had to get back to the loft after all.

Stiles put one arm around the wolf’s waist and the other held Derek’s arm around his neck, where he also kept the light. The boy could feel his fingers getting bloody around the wolf’s torso but pushed the sensation away, they needed to get out of there. Together they tried to stand and then made it, slowly to ensure the wolf wasn’t going to bleed out too much.

The flashlight of his phone saved them the trouble of navigating the dark mall on the way back. He tried very hard not to think too much about it, questioning why it didn’t come to his mind earlier.

So, he just walked with Derek and spoke light words, indications. “I have the Jeep in the underground parking space, think you can make it?”

His question was simply to inform the other of the little journey ahead of them and the wolf nodded, saving some breath to walk by the boy’s side and doing so thanks to his help.

And Stiles couldn’t lose the opportunity to make a little remark, silly and innocent, while almost dragging the wolf next to him. How could he, really?

“Amazing how you let me carry you around.”

It got Derek to flash his eyes red and the boy just cracked a muffed laugh back at the wolf. He kept dragging him around and he smirked to himself while thinking how good of a decision he had made a few months prior. ‘The gym is paying back, I guess.’

Also, Stiles knew the mini threat from the wolf was just an innocent joke, and he was all in for another episode of one of their moments together. Especially if it followed the iconic ‘start the car or I rip your throat out, with my teeth,’ and he revived the moment in his mind

The memory brightened the gloomy atmosphere of the mall, the wolf looked at him with questioning eyes as he could read the fading memory in his scent and Stiles explained his thoughts to him. Somehow, the boy hoped it would create some sort of bond between them. A stronger friendship, maybe.

And it kind of worked, ‘well, sort of…?’

“I remember that.”

That was what Derek simply said, agreeing there were on much better terms since then despite their routine of getting injured. One memory after the other, from the pool with the kanima to Derek randomly appearing in Stiles’ room, or the infamous ‘cousin Miguel’ neither of them seemed to forget, they got closer to their destination.

By the time Stiles was over with his chit chat about chopping off the wolf’s arm in Deaton’s clinic, they made it to the car, sometimes hearing some rats in trash cans or random sounds coming from a far corner of the parking lot. A lot of which scared the boy.

“The hell was that?” Came out more and more from his mouth as he was about to open the passenger door of the Jeep with bloody fingers sliding on the handle. He thought he’d never get used to it, to feel the clammy sensation of blood rubbing between two fingers. ‘Especially if it’s yours…’ But he’d never mind getting his hands bloody if it meant helping a friend.

However, he pushed the thought away, like he always did whenever he had to help Derek with anything.

He helped the alpha get into the car and then he jumped in himself, engine firing up in a few tries, taking its sweet time to come to life to get them to the loft. But before he put in the first gear, he went on Scott’s chat on his phone and sent a simple text. He didn’t need an answer.

As he typed everything down, trying not to care about getting some blood on the screen, Derek looked over at him. His eyes were able to read the text Stiles served his best friend with. It was flat, leaving no room for arguments and it made the wolf wonder how much Stiles actually cared. How come he got so… dominant, almost.

Send to: Scott. 10:42 PM 29/08/2012

I want the loft empty before I get there.

The wolf didn’t say anything about it, just looked at him and then just closed his eyes, deciding to enjoy the ride with calmness and let Stiles do all the hard work for him.

And as he tried to relax, his mind served him with the smallest detail ever, which held pretty much no importance at all: Stiles had his blood on his hands, and he didn’t seem to mind.

But Derek thought about that a lot anyway. How could he not?

He couldn't help but wonder how the boy behind the wheel didn’t mind having on his slim fingers the curse of his family, the reason they were in that situation to begin with. How could Stiles care about him if he always made his hands bloody, did it mean some kind of oat to him?

Derek had no way to know, he didn’t have the strength to ask and Stiles was kind enough to not look into his eyes to read the question in his pain-filled eyes. He was glad for it, really glad, because he kept wondering if the boy would answer him.

However, luckily or not for him, his mind was more eager to rest than to think and so every thought he tried to make ceded to exist before it was even born after a few minutes of heavy questions.

He had his eyes closed, which resulted in sleep seeping through his body and conquering his mind, finally setting a hard stop to his mind and shutting it off almost completely.

The car firing up was the only sound he remembered from the ride and the boy arrived at the loft around half an hour later, always checking the other wasn’t bleeding out completely on his seat. Every “you still here with me, big guy?” Was met with a grunt or huff from the wolf, who seemed to fall asleep between each question.

Once they were parked and Stiles was out the car, he helped Derek just like he did at the mall, almost pulling him along inside the building and up the stairs until he reached the loft’s door, which was open.

“At least they had the decency to give us a way in.” Stiles’ words were meant only for Scott and they both knew that, which was why when he pushed the door open he wasn’t surprised to find it empty, but the surprise was another. They found a note on the table from Cora.

‘Thank you for helping my brother, Stiles.

Take care, Derek. I’ll see you soon.

- C. ’

Their ritual didn’t change after they discharged the note on the table. Up the stairs and into the bedroom, Derek sat on the bed and while Stiles was away to get what he needed, the wolf took off his shirt and threw it away, nothing could save that piece of teared up fabric anyway.

Stiles came back soon after. Hands clean and with their friend in them, the aid kit, he got to work immediately.

While standing, he put gauze around the cuts on the wolf’s shoulder, soon turning red but without causing Derek any pain. Which could have been thanks to the numbing cream the boy found in the first aid kit and that he had put on the bandages when the wolf wasn’t looking.

‘Maybe it can help you a little, at least with the pain.’

After that, he kneeled by his side to have a better view of his next operation.

His skilled hand took a needle and some thread to stitch back together the deeper cuts on the wolf’s side. But before the sharp end of the needle could touch the other’s skin, Derek had a curious expression on his face.

“It’s alright, just a few to help,” reassured Stiles and when the needle went for the hit, it bent back.

Stiles forgot about the healing factor preventing even needles from doing their jobs, so he tried something different while he could still feel Derek’s gaze upon him.

‘What are you doing now?’

The boy ended up taking gauze and bandages to do the best patch up job he’d ever done in his life, all the while never catching the other’s eyes, which were jumping between his work and the floor.

Once he was done with the fifth complete round of bandages around the alpha’s torso, Derek was back to his usual patched up self Stiles was so accustomed to see. Only a few minor cuts were on his collarbone, but he’d take care of them with time because the big part was done and his curiosity had the best of him.

“Why aren’t they healing like the hole in the chest? It’s like it’s healing slower…” Was what Stiles wondered out loud as he stood back up to get closer to the other’s neck, staying almost behind the wolf’s field of view. All the while, one of his hands was fidgeting with something Derek couldn’t see.

Some fingers traced the outside of the cuts on the alpha’s sensitive skin, noticing how nothing seemed to put itself back together. Stiles’ mind also pointed out for him how the wolf let him touch him, but the thought fell as Derek turned his head to look at him and the answer he gave him filled his curiosity.

“Injuries from an alpha heal much slower than any other type.” In his eyes there was a hint of soreness and fatigue, which sparkled up when Stiles put some gauze there and secured it with tape. He had been preparing it in secret, making sure Derek was still with him and not drifting elsewhere.

The pain was bearable but lately, it was getting too much even for him to handle and Stiles noticed. The boy always did for some strange reason of his, like the wolf was letting him see…

Once he was done with the patch up work on his collarbone, Stiles sat on the bed beside Derek. He wasn’t expecting anything to happen, yet something came to his ears.

“Thank you.”

Derek sounded like a little kid thanking his favorite teacher for the small praise on his homework, and Stiles had to hide the way his heart swelled at those words. He had to hide the way the wolf’s sore and tired eyes made him feel.

But despite the hiding he had to do, the words were enough for him to jump behind the wolf, who ended up being startled as his eyes flicked while following Stiles’ movements. Yet, the painful joints of his shoulder and exhaustion of his mind were enough to make sure he’d calm down quicker than usual.

The alpha let the boy be behind him, both his skinny legs by each of the wolf’s sides. He didn’t really mind his presence once he got used to it, in fact he let the boy’s eyes staring at his back. “What are you doing?”

Stiles just started humming a song Derek didn’t know and his reply was short, “just a gift.”

To the wolf, it meant nothing since nothing was happening. Until he felt warm hands on his shoulders, fingers sliding down his neck and the muscles under Stiles’ touch began to relax.

It was really a gift to his touch-starved skin and tense nerves, a gift he would never admit how much he had longed for.

His eyes fell close the second he felt relief wash over him as the boy did wonders on his tormented back. Those slim fingers seemed to know their way around his skin better than anything else.

“A little massage, do you like it?” Stiles’ fingertips didn’t stop digging and smoothing his nerves as he talked, but Derek was getting lost in the feeling. Being so close to someone after such a long time… It put part of his mind at ease.

The hum that came from his throat held everything he didn’t know how to say but Stiles read right through it. And things started to settle to their usual calm atmosphere.

Derek let his head hang low, exposing his nape to the boy, who eagerly worked on it with tender fingers while keeping up with his hummed song. He ended up turning his head to the side just to get a glimpse of what Stiles was doing, just to show the boy how much he appreciated the gesture by showing his half closed eyes to him.

Full of content noises and happy, closed eyes blissfully, the air of Derek’s bedroom was lighter than when they came in, which was saturated with Stiles’ worry and the wolf’s pain. It brought to both their minds a type of peace they didn't know until that moment.

Minutes went by and the boy kept his slim fingers working to make the alpha ache a little less. It was close to midnight when Stiles started yawning. The wolf was already half asleep under his touch but he did a good job to hide it from the boy.

Boy whose mind was throwing random details at him.

‘Amazing how you trust me randomly…’

His thoughts weren’t that coherent, though, and he somehow knew.

Sliding his fingers along the other’s back, fingertips playing with the depth of his shoulder blades, Stiles wondered how many scars would be on Derek’s skin if he wasn’t a werewolf. How many would be dumpy, how many would the wolf allow him to touch?

He wondered if Derek would carry them with pride or not, if he would cover them up and not care about getting them exposed. His mind sailed to all the different injuries Stiles had seen so far, and all the others he had never got a chance to see. He wondered how many there would be.

‘There would be so many… Would you…’

Would he still be tangible enough to be touched with a feathered finger, though?

Stiles knew he wouldn’t be. He knew that his fingers would have never touched his skin if Derek wasn’t a werewolf.

His forehead ended up slowly falling on the wolf’s nape, breathing in and out through his mouth, letting the air hit Derek’s skin and making him shiver slightly. The day had been hard on them both and the boy let out the words weighing down his heart.

“Can you stop getting hurt? It’s too often even for you…”

Derek didn’t say anything back at him, but Stiles didn’t expect him to. The boy did scribble down how Derek let his head rest on him, though.

His head was applying a nice pression on the base of the wolf’s neck, which was enough to get the alpha to at least turn back to look at the boy, who met his eyes with his own tired ones. Sleep was calling them both, which was exactly what Stiles wanted to say.

But after their eyes exchanged silent words of comfort neither of them had the energy to say out loud, the boy’s head perked up and the wolf immediately searched for a reason.

‘What now?’

Stiles stood up, leaving the bed to Derek. “It’s time to go home, we are both too tired. We can call it a day and go to sleep.”

But Derek didn’t want anything to happen to Stiles.

After the boy told him he cared for him, he couldn’t risk him getting hurt while driving in such a state, so he made an offer he swore he’d never make for anyone else.

“You can have the couch, sleep and go home tomorrow.”

It was what any good friend would do, which is what Siles told him they were...

The boy smiled and the alpha knew it meant he had company for the night, just someone he’d wake up with in the morning, occupying some space with him in the loft.

Stiles didn’t even ask, just took it for granted and the wolf didn’t mind, especially since he took only a pair of sweat and a shirt from his drawers and disappeared downstairs.

“Good night buddy, see ya in the morning” and his smile was full of everything Derek always knew the boy wanted to achieve.

To have a glimpse of his trust, a way in his life and maybe a companion for lonely nights, and the alpha ended up letting Stiles have all these things without even noticing it.

Derek’s eyes had a soft light in them, something within that pale sparkle reminded Stiles of the way a cat looks at a mouse it didn’t really want to kill anymore. Something in them reminded the boy of the stars.

‘But it’s just the light from the moon playing tricks on me…’ So he stared at the wolf as he spoke his own farewell for the next day.

“Night Stiles” and Derek waited for sleep to claim him, without much of a ceremony. He let his body hit the mattress the second Stiles chucked a laugh the wolf could hear from the other side of the door. He was probably thinking about something on his way out…

Down the stairs, Stiles had the living room all for himself.

He changed clothes, put his belongings on the floor without much regard for them and made sure to be comfortable on the couch, big enough to let him lay down almost completely. Luckily, he also found a blanket folded on the backrest and took it all for himself.

Night came to him the moment he closed his eyes. His mind amazed at how the day went, from arguing with Scott to getting Derek to allow him a way in his solitary life.

The smile on his lips was the only trace of the day he was leaving behind and in the moment it was gone, he was soundly asleep.

On the other hand, on his bed upstairs, the wolf crawled under the covers and found a comfortable position that didn’t push on any of his injuries. His eyes drifted around his room, his phone and wallet somehow appeared on the nightstand and he was sure he wasn’t the one who put them there.

But in just a few minutes, night claimed him too and his last thought was Stiles on his couch, and how he strangely couldn’t wait to greet him the next day.

When morning came along, it didn’t bring a pleasant awakening for either of them.

Both their phones were ringing up with calls, waking them both with hurry shooting through their senses.

Stiles almost fell off the couch as he extended a quick arm to take his phone from the pavement, searching for it among everything he had previously left on the floor. His eyes didn’t focus on his screen, every time the ringtone went off he felt like his ears were being torn off his head.

Derek sat straight on the bed the moment his ears caught his phone buzzing. He didn’t really know why he was so shaken by it when he picked it up and stared at it. Many from the pack called him, but he didn’t know why and that was when his hearing fell on Stiles scratching his eyes in the living room.

They met downstairs, nothing exchanged before they went over their missed phone calls.

Scott and Isaac were the ones that called the most and it worried them both. “Let’s call them to come here,” suggested Stiles when he thought something might’ve happened to either of them and Derek gave him the go ahead.

In just a quarter hour the loft was filled with the pack, people all around them. They changed their clothes just in time and they were both thankful for that.

It wasn’t the morning neither of them expected and they surely didn’t wish to share it with so many other people.

It wasn’t the morning they had hoped for in the depth of the night.

But neither of them knew that.

Chapter Text

There was pouring rain outside the windows of the loft. It seemed like night had come faster than expected, but it was just a storm. Or not only that.

Boyd was dead, Derek was forced to kill him…

“It’s okay, Derek… It’s okay.” His words came out with his last breath and they were hammering at the alpha’s senses, overwhelming him with loss and guilt. Something in that whispered plea meant ‘forgiveness’ to Derek’s deaf ears.

The beta’s body was still impaled on Derek’s claws, soaked in blood and anguish as the alpha was down on one knee. Some of Boyd’s wounds let his pain drain down till it reached the wolf’s wrists, going further down and covering his forearms in crimson. It looked like Derek didn’t have his thick skin anymore, as if a dull blade could cut his flesh open without much effort.

The wolf had eyes on him, watching as life was fading from the guy’s irises and when he heard the door being opened, he felt fear rushing through him as he retrieved his hands and the body fell to his feet.

“I…” He couldn’t even bring himself to ask for forgiveness to the lifeless body laying before him. He just eyed him while his hands were shaking in front of him. He wished he didn’t have to see, to hear… To feel.

But then Cora, Lydia and Stiles appeared in his peripheral view.

The floor was soaked and filled with water, Cora ran through it cutting a path for herself to reach Boyd since Lydia was already calling someone, maybe Deaton.

While Stiles, on the other hand, went to Derek and placed a hand on his shoulder without much hesitation. He felt like he was the only one that Derek would allow near him, and the boy was glad he was right because he knew the wolf needed grounding.

Stiles also didn’t say a word to him after that, not yet. He knew Derek had given only to him a chance in his lonely life, and talking to him while the girls were there too would be too much for the alpha to handle. Especially when the boy was aware of the chains the wolf felt pulling at his wrists as he kept his shaking eyes on Boyd.

Standing behind Derek’s body, Stiles could tell the wolf was spiraling in his tormented mind, because underneath his fingertips the alpha’s skin was cold and trembling, as if he was losing himself in cold water.

He held his shoulder with a good amount of pressure, feeling fingers digging through his skin like a knife would in butter. He didn’t want the alpha to forget about his presence, to forget about Stiles’ promise of being there only for him.

And after a while of silence filled with whimpering sounds of sadness and grief coming out strangled from the wolf’s throat, things moved around and Derek was lost within the turn of events in front of his eyes. But he held onto Stiles’ hand with all his being, looking silently at everything.

Cora had stopped sobbing and just lonely tears ran down her cheeks. She was near Boyd and half of her body obscured the alpha’s field of view. But he knew his sister was trying to get the body somewhere else, because with Lydia’s help, who soon went through the soaked floor as well, they took the lifeless body out of the loft.

Derek’s eyes didn’t follow Boyd exiting the place, he didn’t even put his hands down as they were still shaking in front of him, arms paralyzed from the shock. Stiles did the same as he kept his gaze locked on the alpha, making sure to anchor him with a firm hand.

Neither the wolf nor the boy knew where the girls were going. Stiles’ best guess was Deaton or the hospital, but that would have to wait.

Neither of them moved, Derek was still shaking beneath Stiles’ hand and he let his eyes fall to the ground in defeat. Then, as the wolf seemed to have lost his energy, he fell with both knees to the ground, hands on his thighs, gripping his flesh as if he wanted to pull out a chunk of meat.

Stiles instinctively kneeled behind him, not moving his hand away from his shoulder as he saw Derek in such a state.

Jeans got soaked in a mixture of blood and water, maybe even tears. He didn’t think before hooping on all fours to kneel in front of the other, hands on both his shoulders once he was face to face with him. ‘Maybe this will help’ was more of a dare than a guess. If he got it wrong, he didn’t know what was going to happen.

His arms went from shoulders to all around the alpha, who was still shaking and was frozen in place as if time had stopped. Stiles still didn’t say a word to him, he just wrapped the wolf in a soft embrace, down on the floor in front of him. He hoped it would give him back some pieces of Derek he could slowly warm back to life.

He wanted his dear companion back. He didn’t want to bear the thought of having to go a day without having to save his ass from yet again another injury, he didn’t even want to think about all the bad scenarios that could become reality.

But in his mind a thought persisted its stay while all the others were being wiped away: ‘Let me help you.’ Those hopeful words were bare ghosts in the whimpering cries coming from the wolf. Yet, they were mixed with a tighter embrace around Derek, who seemed to read the quiet wish in the hug.

The alpha’s weak arms went around Stiles’s torso in response, leaving his thighs in peace and clinging with trembling fingers to the boy’s shirt, holding onto him like he didn’t know any better. It was a silent plea of gratitude, to have someone to rely on for a little while.

Derek had no clue of what to do with himself. On his fragile shoulders, the guilt of taking his beta’s life was heavy and draining, dragging him with chains through the depth of his mind, reaching for every once of shameful punishment he could come up with.

He didn’t have any control over his body. He felt like he was watching himself from the inside of his mind, looking through his eyes as a spectator of his own life. He wasn’t aware of how tightly he was holding onto the other.

Then, Stiles tried to speak through Derek’s grief and guilt, because he knew the wolf well enough to know what he was losing himself into.

“Let me help you out with this. Let’s get you a nice shower while I manage this river in your living room, then we eat something, yeah? Just you and me, it’s alright…”

At the words, Derek let his head fall in the crock of Stiles’ neck and his hold went placid. Being back to be the actor of his own life punched that air out of his lungs and he exhaled. He could start to feel the boy’s hands holding him, keeping him at bay. Safe and sound from his own mind.

On the other hand, the boy’s hold was thigh and firm, afraid the wolf was about to melt in his hands. Stiles felt like he was holding a dead body, a will to live slipping through his fingers like water.

“Come on big guy, enough happened for today, now I want you to rest, you hear me? I ain’t letting you go through this alone, I’m here with you.”

Stiles managed to push them both on their legs, weak as they were after kneeling for so long. He did so out of pure care, he didn’t want the other to stay so low to the ground any longer.

As they stood still for a few seconds to adjust, Derek’s arms fell from the boy’s body, brushing his sides; it wasn’t such a voluntary movement and Stiles could tell. The wolf’s eyes were spent, lost in sorrow and regret as the other looked in them for a second, just to make sure he was still with him.

Still, without much hesitation, like he was following an old plot they had played out so many times over, Stiles held Derek’s hand and let go of his body. The wolf didn’t fight it, allowing the boy everything he wanted as he walked to the stairs, gently tugging at the alpha to follow behind him. And the wolf did, letting the boy’s grip guide him through the darkness that was blinding him.

Step after step, they made their way upstairs in the silent room that was the wolf’s bedroom. No words have been said so far from Derek but Stiles could read right through him, for whatever reason he couldn’t name.

Stiles never thought being a good friend could make him feel so close to the wolf, he never expected to feel so connected to him, like there was a thin string of understanding tying them together. However, it all felt so natural and he was sure it was the same for Derek, but he had another matter to take care of first before he could dwell into those thoughts.

“Let’s get you a nice shower, alright? Just some nice hot water, mh?” Stiles tried to humor a bit, opening the door of the bathroom near the bed. At the sight of another door being opened for him, Derek broke their conjoined hands and the boy instinctively searched back for it, scared the wolf might not feel okay.

But then the other willingly went inside and sat on the toilet seat in silence, while Stiles reorganized his mind and decided to go into his room to grab some clothes from the drawers. He tried to store away the fear of not feeling the other near him as he searched for a shirt in the wrong place.

Green eyes looked at him as he moved without him knowing but Stiles felt a gaze linger on his every movement, yet he didn’t mind if it meant having Derek not thinking about Boyd.

It was always Stiles who patched the wolf up and for the first time the patching had to be done in another way. It wasn’t something physical and the boy was ready to help Derek however he could. In whatever way he would be allowed to.

His mind wanted to think about how many ways there were to help the wolf, but as his hands picked up clothes and his legs walked back to the bathroom, he knew what he had to do first.

He placed the clean clothes on the edge of the sink and turned on the shower. Derek’s eyes didn’t want to leave his figure, his eyes were glued onto the boy and Stiles seemed not to mind as he spoke light words to him.

“There you go. I’ll be downstairs mopping the floor, when you’re done come down and we’ll get something for dinner, alright? It’ll be alright, I promise” but he knew it wouldn’t be so simple.

His promise was as lightweight as the air around them, but he fought to keep it solid in the palm of his hand while his eyes spoke mute reassuring words to the wolf. He wanted him to be fine, he really did, which was why he was going to let him be and take his nice shower on his own.

Stiles left the bathroom and closed the door behind himself. Derek looked at the floor from where he was seated and after some minutes, mind blank as a sheet of paper, he stood up and undressed. He just followed what he knew Stiles thought was best for him.

He thought he could hear the boy’s words being whispered into his ears as he stepped into the shower, guiding him through every step he’d have to take. He thought the shower was Stiles’ best gift, like that one massage from a while back.

The hot steam of water fell heavy but gladly on his shoulders and back. Washing away some of his tension and replacing it with something more calm, more tender…

He swore that the water was filled with care as if the boy’s fingers were in there, massaging his back, undoing knots of muscles on his shoulders and applying some nice pressure on his nape. And for a split second, he felt just slightly better.

He thought he could do it. That he could take that shower, put on the clothes Stiles picked up for him and meet him downstairs. For a long, split second, he wished with all his heart that he could do just that.

But then, eyes fell on his body. He looked at his hands in disgust, watching the blood being washed away. His eyes were getting watery again but he didn’t want to bother Stiles any further. The water would wash them away for him.

He let his eyelids fall, covering his vision, and his mind was thankfully turned off for the night. Hands scrubbed off everything from that day, starting with the sweat to the fear, from the blood to the tears.

And to keep himself from slipping further in the pain, he thought of whatever was keeping him at bay. He let his mind fill with every little memory, with every little detail. He let his mind wander in the only direction it needed.

He thought of Stiles…

Downstairs, the problem was another. The floor was covered in a glass of water, ‘if only we had spilled a single glass… but it’s like we flooded the whole floor.’

So, he just looked around for a simple way to solve the mess. Mopping the entire loft would take him an entire day, time he didn’t have. And from the ceiling, the shower could be heard and somehow the sound of it made his heart ache a little. It also helped him concentrate on the task at hand, though.

Because surprisingly, for whatever design reason, there was a pump in some forgotten, almost creepy room in the corner behind the stairs.

“Lucky me...” But it wasn’t so sympathetic, there was no luck in his day. ‘Well, not mine but his, still we’re in this together if he doesn’t push me away’ and it was a genuine thought if anyone asked him.

He took the pump and plugged it in, the end of it outside the balcony onto the ground, no one would be passing down there anyway. The other end was simply left on the floor, sucking in the water and spitting it down the building.

“This is just as easy as it could be” and in the span of 15 minutes the loft was empty of any trace of the previous lake.

He had just finished when he tried to hear something from upstairs. The sound hadn’t changed a bit and he wondered if Derek had fallen in the shower, so he called out for him. “Hey, you still here with me, big guy?” And all that he could hear in response was the shower turning off.

‘That’s good, back to work.’

Mopping just some of the little drops left, it took him just a few minutes to get a nice, clean floor. He moved the couch back in place along with the little table and the TV, somehow both were saved from the float. Then, it hit him slightly as he whispered his realization, “I should change these jeans…”

And from the room upstairs, where Derek was putting on fresh and dry clothes, his voice arrived to Stiles’ ears, empty of any emotions and flat.

“Come up here.”

It was all Stiles needed to sprint to him, like his mom was calling him home for dinner. When he opened the door Derek had just finished putting on his shirt, a nice navy blue one with long sleeves. ‘It suits you well my guy.’

He thought those words as he got caught staring at the other and Stiles could tell Derek read his mind, because he looked down flattered while he handed him a pair of sweatpants. ”You can wear this” and it was accompanied with a pleading look in his green eyes.

The boy took the clothes in his hands, already knowing he would have to tie the string around his waist to not end up walking on the hem of the pants. But it was going to work anyway, so he got to it.

Not worrying much about the wolf, who was standing still in the middle of the room, Stiles made a quick work of changing his damp jeans with some cloud-soft sweats.

“Thanks dude,” he said as he was done and Derek promptly replied “don’t call me that” like he always did, and at that Stiles’s heart took a sigh of relief. ‘At least you didn’t go completely mute, which is already a lot.’

His jeans went flying somewhere he didn’t even look at and he took a good look at the man he was then staring at, a devastated man who had lost someone he cared for, and to make it worse, he had to kill him off…

“Let’s go downstairs, mh? We’ll see if we can make some dinner,” was an offer Stiles was extremely familiar with as he let it out for Derek to hear. He used to ask almost the same to his father after his mother died years back.

The wolf just shook his head after a few seconds. ‘Okay’ was almost a forced look on his expressionless face at that moment but Stiles knew better than to bite at it.

The boy then simply moved closer to him and extended an inviting hand. “I got it from here” was another offer Derek accepted, without much thinking.

Hand in hand they went downstairs and Stiles was amazed at how much the wolf trusted him and not randomly anymore. ‘Well, it seems at least…’

They had been sticking around one another for months just for the comfort of it at that point. After the mall, Stiles had passed by the loft at least once a week just to check on Derek and yap to him about everything and nothing, just because he felt it was right to stick by his side.

He had also noticed how, instead of hiding and punishing himself like he once used to do, Derek was letting him in like he had nothing to lose. And maybe it was that simple.

But it wasn’t.

Stiles knew and so did Derek, no one said anything about it but the words were there, waiting to be said.

Such a complicity was nothing short of trust and likeness of one another. Maybe it was something more and they both knew. Yet neither of them needed to talk about it. Despite Stiles having often tried, the conversation never sailed.

So, Stiles kept his hand steady and comforting as he walked with Derek behind him, going towards the kitchen.

But he couldn’t restrain the words he knew the other needed to hear.

“Derek, it wasn’t your fault.”

The alpha stopped in his tracks, already slow and rigid, breaking down crying with weak knees and watery eyes. Stiles expected a hundred scenarios and that was one of them. “Come here, Derek… take a seat on the couch, mh?” Was short of a whisper which still did its job.

Stiles guided Derek as he stood back up and held his hand as he dragged him to the couch. He fell on it heavily without much regard for anything else and Stiles could never blame him for it.

“It’s the truth, Derek. It wasn’t your fault… Let me help you, okay? We’ve been doing this for a while now, let me see everything, we can be in this together. We can share that burden you feel in two and manage it.” He sat on the couch as well, next to the wolf.

He was there with Derek but the feeling that something was missing didn’t leave...

“We can do this again. You can rely on me, Derek. I won’t break.”

With soft fingers Stiles caressed the back of Derek’s hand, who was whimpering and crying silently. He was a little mess of guilt and sorrow that the boy knew all too well somehow.

His face was contorted in shame and panic, eyes blurred by tears and body shaking. Stiles had never seen him like that before. He didn’t stand the sight of him being in so much pain.

Arms were soon wrapped around the wolf’s shoulders, his head resting on Stiles’ chest and Derek’s hands were gripping at the other’s knees, ‘don’t leave’ and the boy obliged with a tender smile.

Comforting the wolf with care and tenderness was something new for Stiles. Well, it was always more of a ‘patch up and go’ kind of thing, so being so close was a bit different.

He usually yapped around the wolf until whatever was heavy on his mind had long flown out the nearest window, but that time around that wasn’t an option. That habit of talking they developed in the past months wouldn’t work with their current situation.

He patted the wolf’s head and wiped away some of his tears while looking outside the tall windows of the living room. The storm was calmer but still there, clouds were empty and lighting was out of sight but Stiles knew it would come again.

For whatever reason, he could tell it right away but before the storm had a second chance at life, Derek had fallen asleep in his arms. ‘You’re exhausted, aren’t you?’

He left him resting on the couch, laying his body down comfortably as he stood up and went to the kitchen. He didn’t even notice how he didn’t mind him falling asleep near him.

How he paid no mind to how normal and natural it was to hold him, to try and soothe him. He then tried to brush away how Derek had let him see him so broken. Stiles swore to himself he tried to pay it no mind.

So, softly was the breath he sent his way. “I’ll go make dinner, I’ll be right here” and he went away, but not that far. His mind was filled with details of their connection, how things were being shaped and how things could become.

But he always had something to do whenever he tried to look deeper into their little tango of emotions.

For that day, that something was dinner.

Around the kitchen island, Stiles was cooking or trying to with whatever he could find in the fridge and around the shelves. He often let his eyes fall on Derek on the couch, his sleep interrupted by little convulsion here and there, from which he always recovered and never woke up.

The storm had ceded a while before, Stiles couldn’t pinpoint when thought. Still, no sounds were around them and there had been enough to fill their ears for the past days, so some peace of mind could do good for both, especially one of the two. ‘Especially you.’

It took Stiles a good hour to make something edible and in that little hour his mind drifted from one death to another, Erica and Boyd. ‘Ultimately, Derek could be considered alone’ was the conclusion he came up with, and he didn’t like it one bit. He could still count himself as ‘someone being with Derek.’

He wanted to count himself as that.

Eyes switched from the kitchen to the couch, a lone wolf was embraced in the depths of sleep and his body was shaking slightly. Stiles went over and sat on the edge of the couch, his steps feathered and quiet as he moved.

One hand went to Derek’s hair, stroking it from the top of his head to behind his ears. Stiles tried to comfort him a bit before having to wake him up to eat. It felt natural to be so close.

Leaning down, his mouth was near the other’s ear. “Wake up, dinner’s ready.” It was a barely audible sound that fell in the space between them.

Derek didn’t budge from his sleep and Stiles moved closer. His hand took a different route, caressing from the head down to one shoulder, arriving at his upper arm. He shook him just enough and Derek’s eyes started to open, “there you are, sleeping beauty” but the alpha was motionless, giving no reaction.

And Stiles didn’t blame him again. How could he anyway?

He waited for Derek to be back from his dreams, ‘or nightmares perhaps,’ then words were spoken again. “Let’s go eat something, alright big guy?” And as Stiles stood up from the couch and moved around the kitchen, Derek was behind him with a tired silhouette and heavy limbs.

Gesturing to the wolf to have a seat, which he took, Stiles served his homemade dinner.

It was an easy meal, some pasta he found around, different shapes and kinds, which he managed to cook just fine despite the different times thanks to whatever miracle, and served it with some tuna.

Derek waited for him to take the first bite and followed soon after, although neither of them ate much of anything, hunger wasn’t awake in their bodies and so the dishes were left practically full. Derek’s more than Stiles’.

After Stiles had put away the leftovers in the fridge, he looked at the man sitting in front of him from where he was standing. “Let’s get you to bed, mh? You need to get some good rest after all” and Derek looked at him, eyes pleading for something he didn’t quite get, so he simply took his hand and guided him to his room once again.

Derek didn’t get how they became so close. Maybe it was the whole ‘good friends’ thing Stiles had always told him about, but it felt different. To let Stiles in so simply, it was another kind of trust, one he didn’t know he could be able to feel anymore.

The boy’s thoughts were driving just the same way.

‘And here I am, holding your hands again and again, and you saying nothing about it. I hope you don’t really mind or I’d probably end up without a throat.’ It was a reasonable train of thought as he took the stairs, looking behind himself to ensure Derek’s presence.

Door pushed open, they both went in and Stiles simply lifted the covers and looked at the other, “are you gonna get in or should I throw you in?”

Derek knew Stiles was trying to ease his mood, which was a hard task for anybody, yet his skinny friend Stiles managed to light his heart just enough that a downward smile appeared on his lips.

“Finally… Come on, get in.” Smiled back Stiles and Derek did. He laid on his side, sliding beneath the covers the boy kept open for him and his eyes were locked on Stiles, who watched him like a mom would, proud to have put her son to sleep without having to pull up a fight.

The boy tucked him in, a typical mom-thing to do, pulling the covers up below his chin. He could feel Derek’s eyes on his figure as he also took a good look of the wolf’s body, shaking slightly beneath the bed sheets. Maybe it was the cold, thought Stiles, ‘maybe he’s too worn out.’

He then stood up and Derek never stopped looking at him. Stiles waved a silent good night with a kind smile on his lips and turned around, going for the door.

At the sight of Stiles leaving, something broke inside Derek’s chest and it brought up a thought in his tired mind.

‘Don’t leave me.’

It was the first thing his mind created after Boyd’s death. Up to that moment it was empty, blank as a sheet of paper ready to be scribbled on. But his eyes focused back to the present.

Stiles was almost out of reach, looking away from Derek’s figure in the bed, leaving him to the night ahead. The wolf didn’t want him to leave. It was clueless and reckless for his usual self, but he couldn’t care less. He wanted Stiles to stay.

“Stiles…”

The boy turned around, eyes big and somehow watery, eyebrows raised in question. Standing near the door, expecting some other words to be heard, he looked at Derek. But as he didn’t say anything, he stepped closer again, sitting on the edge of the bed just like he did on the couch earlier.

It happened twice in a day, Stiles so close to Derek and taking care of him, comforting him with his soft touches and with his kind words. An unusual sight to behold for them both, yet, for whatever reason for the uncounted time that painful day, neither of them cared about being their usual selves. Somehow it felt more right to let themselves be anyway.

“Yeah, Derek?”

It was a reasonable question to Derek’s ears. After all, he was stopping the other from going home and he didn’t even give him a reason as to why he was being stopped.

The wolf moved his hand from behind the covers, the cold air hitting his hot skin felt painful for a short moment, like needles were piercing through his thick skin. He was trying to build up courage to say what he wanted, especially since talking had never been his thing.

But before words came through, he did something different.

His cold hand was slow but Stiles’s arm ended up in a soft grip anyway. Derek’s fingers were around his wrist, the boy looked at it and then at the wolf. Waiting.

Pleading were the eyes Stiles met on the other’s face, red from all the tears. And sore was the throat that spoke to him in a thin whisper.

“Don’t leave, please…”

It didn’t take much for Stiles to answer, he already knew the question before the wolf vocalized it in a timid prayer. He always knew the wolf like the inside of his pockets. After all, it was their usual routine.

“I’ll stay here tonight” promised the boy as he slipped from the grip on his wrist and got hold of the other’s hand, feeling his rough skin under his touch.

A small smile appeared on his young features as Stiles’ words were simply meant to ease the other up. “And everyone will know you asked me to stay here…” He spoke in a dreamy voice, soft and playful, but both of them knew it was a simple joke as their eyes kept staring at each other.

Stiles would never share these moments with anyone, even Scott. He knew Derek only trusted him and he wasn’t going to betray that little trust he wanted to build.

So, as Derek was relaxing under the impression Stiles was going to stay by his side, it all fell down rather too fast.

“I’ll take the couch.”

Stiles was already standing back up, moving away from him, getting his place in the Hale’s house. Withdrawing the warmth of his own hand from the alpha, letting the wolf’s fingers slip away in the cold of the night.

Derek’s heart sank a little, air getting punched out of his lungs once more while his stomach tied a knot that made him nauseous. But it was manageable.

He could sleep knowing Stiles would be downstairs, he could let his eyes fall close in the depths of the night and not be scared of the consequences. It was something he could do.

Or was it?

Stiles was going away, not even that far, in front of his eyes and he couldn’t bear the thought of it even for a second. He didn’t want to be alone, he really didn’t want to.

Adding everything up, it all became a thin, small and quiet plea he didn’t know he was capable of as he let a lonely word out.

“Wait…”

And he did, Stiles always did. And somehow, he also understood Derek as his solitary hand patted on the edge of the bed.

“Do you want me to stay here with you? By your side?”

The wolf didn’t have any strength to sabotage himself, to act tough and scary, menacing and threatening like his usual self would be. Because admitting it would be much easier and it would stay just between them. After all, it was what he wished for, to have Stiles with him.

And Stiles was always so gentle with him. Caring.

‘Stiles wouldn’t betray me.’ Derek would stand by that statement up until his last breath. Stiles wouldn’t, for whatever reason, and he knew that all too well. He knew Stiles.

But he also didn’t want to force him to stay.

“Yeah… if you are… okay with it.”

No answer.

And he jumped in the bed. Stiles, energetic spaz that he was, crawled his way on the bed kicking off his shoes and moving under the covers beside Derek, who was calming down from his sprint of actions just fine thanks to the other’s presence.

The alpha simply looked at him, eyes filled with gratitude and trust as he followed his movements. The sorrow and grief was left in the back of his mind for a few moments, some peace in between storms.

Stiles ended up laying on his side as Derek did the same, turning the other way to still be able to look at him. The boy waited for the wolf to close his eyes and then followed soon after, both of them welcoming sleep and the alpha was glad the other stayed with him.

Night came upon their heads and the clouds outside were thundering their conversations once again, although neither of them could hear nor understand what they were about. Both were facing the other as their eyes were locked by sleep.

But, around 3 AM, in the depths of the night, something woke the boy up from his sleep. It was no other than Derek having what he thought was a nightmare. He looked over at him, analyzing his figure utilizing the dim, dying light coming from the thunder outside.

“Hey, wake up Derek, I’m here” chanted Stiles with a heavy voice, raspy but soft.

Rubbing his eyes, he woke up some more, enough to make some coherent thoughts that could help. Derek didn’t wake up though, his body was shaking and his eyes were jumping left to right under his eyelids. Forehead damp with sweat and arms rigid against his chest.

Stiles tried again to wake the poor wolf up from the terrible nightmare he thought he was having, “Derek, wake up, wake up please” and he tried another approach. His hand went on the other’s arm, squeezing some of his flesh underneath his fingers to try and wake him up.

It didn’t work, so he tried to add something else as well. “Derek… Wake up!” Was almost screamed as it reached the wolf’s ears. It was effective though, because the wolf did wake up.

The eyes that met the boy were bright red and not from tears. The alpha was staring into his eyes, irises of a shaky red. Whatever was going on in his mind surely wasn’t pleasant.

‘What were you dreaming about that made you feel so threatened?’ But Stiles didn’t ask that out loud, he couldn't. He had to calm him down first.

“Hey, hey big guy, it’s me, Stiles. No threats or danger in sight, alright? You can calm down, I got you” and his arms moved up before he could think about it. He lifted the covers with his movements, seemingly inviting the wolf to come closer to him.

Derek’s eyes were filled with a strange fear, the red was buzzing a bit in the lighting, making it appear as a danger signal, ‘something's broken’ might’ve been the best way of explaining it. Irises were locked on Stiles though, who was staying still waiting for the wolf to make a choice.

And the alpha made up his mind, the red disappearing from his eyes as he let his body move on its own.

He slid closer to Stiles, finding comfort in the warmth of his body, hiding his head in the crock of the boy’s neck. Stiles let his arms fall on the other’s body, embracing him and grounding him. He could feel the wolf’s hands grabbing at his shirt.

“I got you, Derek. I got you.”

At those words a lonely tear fell from his eyes, tracing a wet line on his cheek and Stiles was quick and gentle in wiping it away with his thumb. Derek’s body was shaking again between his arms as he tried to soothe him, but he couldn’t blame him for being so in pain.

How could Stiles ever blame him anyway? Especially when he knew everything Derek was going through, how could he do that?

So, while his hands were soft on the other’s back, he spoke a few words to put the wolf at ease. To allow his mind to rest.

“Let’s go back to sleep… I’m right here with you.”

Derek didn’t say anything, Stiles didn’t add a word either. Sleep came back at them after that, but it got the wolf first.

The alpha fell asleep holding the boy’s slim figure while a few tears made their way back in his eyes, but they were too little to fall. Stiles was holding a shaking wolf, who stopped moving after a few minutes of reassuring pets and caresses.

They cuddled like that as Stiles watched Derek fall under the veil of the night. It didn’t feel a bit strange as it happened. It didn’t feel wrong to look after him, to guard him from the sorrow.

“I’ll be here tomorrow” was the last thing the boy said as he waited for sleep to get to him too. His chin resting on the other’s head as his mind let out the last wish of the day.

‘I wish suffering wasn’t so common for either of us… Especially for you.’

But it was a naive thought, he knew neither of them could escape. The only way to fight or resist was to do it with someone by your side. And he wished he could be that person for Derek.

Then, sleep came and claimed his mind too.

The night was overall calm after that and when morning came, Stiles was the first to welcome it. Around 7 AM his internal clock rang and he shot awake, his limbs still surrounding Derek, a very much asleep Derek.

His eyes fell on his face, safely sleeping in his arms and he thought that making breakfast might make the wolf feel better. And he wanted to have a nice morning, leaving behind all the bad things.

He slowly slid out the bed and stood up in front of it, still unable to take his eyes away from the alpha as the sun was shining through the glass that was the whole east wall. It portrayed a soft play of light in the wolf’s face, but he couldn’t stare at it.

He decided to make a decent first meal of the day for them both, which was the reason he was able to avert his eyes elsewhere and started making his way downstairs as the cold breeze of the morning bit at his joints.

The kitchen welcomed him back after the previous day and he chanted a little song as things were set on the counter, ready to be made.

Around 8 AM it was Derek’s turn to wake up. And it wasn’t such a pleasant moment.

The bed was empty on one side, cold. No Stiles in sight. He swung his hand on the mattress, searching and searching desperately for Stiles.

‘Did he leave?’

But the scent he quickly picked up told him otherwise.

Stiles didn’t leave. Stiles moved. And he wanted to see him with his own eyes as soon as possible.

He shook off the sleepiness he was still wearing, and made a quick work of waking up. Going down those stairs had never been so strange. Knowing someone was there, probably waiting for him, was something new to his senses. Especially since there was nothing else to it.

Derek let his friend’s scent lead his way.

Stiles’s scent was cinnamon and dawn, a hint of lavender was mixed with a more prominent hint of honey. In his mind it made a scene: a forest in autumn, a waterfall in the middle of the trees, whose leaves were all shades of orange and brown. The sun would be shining through branches making stripes of sunlight and shadows.

It was a nice thought, it represented Stiles well enough.

Once the stairs were over and the only space left was the living room and the kitchen, the scent led him to a nice homemade breakfast.

Stiles was around the table, putting down plates and glasses. He moved around the space with ease, like he lived there for longer than the wolf did himself. He moved with the same comfort he had when he once ran his fingers on the wolf’s aching back.

To the alpha, Stiles seemed out of reach. Something he could never hold, something he’d never feel. A sensation he could never even begin to understand.

Stiles looked so impossibly alive to Derek’s eyes.

‘How do you do it?’

But he didn’t ask anything, Stiles beat him in time and talked first.

“I was about to come and wake you up. How did you sleep, Derek?”

In his tone there was a hint of warning, the fake kind the wolf was so accustomed to hear from the other. It was accompanied with ‘don’t you dare say you slept badly or I’m putting you to sleep again,’ which was a rather long look, yet filled to the brim with kindness.

Something in Stiles always screamed kindness, gentleness and tenderness. It always made Derek wonder about hundreds of things he couldn't name. But he was brought back to breakfast as he caught Stiles moving, trying to get his attention.

He gestured for Derek to take a seat, which the boy let him have only after he forcefully agreed he had a good sleep. And along with the little agreement, the wolf also quietly said “thank you” without giving any context.

And since Stiles was the same Stiles the wolf had in mind, the boy knew just enough about what the other was referring to. “Anytime, Derek.” It was the kindest thing the wolf had ever heard being said to him, and his eyes got watery but it didn’t last a second.

Finally, Derek took a seat and so did Stiles, who was in front of him already mouthing at the food. Yet, Derek didn’t feel like eating, ‘after what I did to Boyd, I shouldn’t…’ but his thoughts were cut short. Extremely short.

After five minutes during which he didn’t even touch the food, Stiles read straight through him like he always did, with those amber eyes of his.

“Eat Derek, it’s okay… Don’t punish yourself like this.”

But as he was already going to take a bite, spurred by the boy’s kind words reserved only for him, Stiles spoke again.

“You don’t deserve any type of punishment.”

The fork in his hand shook slightly, Stiles did or did not notice. Derek couldn’t tell.

It was little and simple, although in all his life he had never heard such words being said for him, to him, with such care.

Speechless and shocked he ate a little bit. Once again a lonely tear was forming itself in the corner of his eyes, but before he could do anything about it Stiles was already wiping it away from across the table.

His mind couldn’t phantom a reason as to why he didn’t mind crying in front of Stiles. Why he didn’t mind his fingers on his skin.

But he didn’t say anything about it, neither of them did. And the wolf couldn't help but be amazed by Stiles in the early hours of the morning. Those same hours that signed when he would be the most vulnerable to the boy’s words. Vulnerable to Stiles’ eyes.

The boy was such a sight to behold in the early morning, the wolf wanted to imprint the image in his mind. Save it and nourish it for as long as possible, until his mind was to no good use anymore. Because those eyes could lead him to places he thought were long gone.

That boy held his gaze in a loving way as Derek couldn't help but stare at the boy who was able to make his way into his life. He couldn't help but look at him with something akin to stupor.

The same feeling a solitary man would have while he’d be looking outside the window at the changing seasons, staring at something beautiful and worthy of being admired. Untouchable…

Then Stiles spoke out of nowhere, or maybe he was already talking and Derek wasn't paying attention.

“I think I’ll stop by the loft more often, if you don't mind.”

He hummed in agreement, knowing it would mean almost every day out of the week. ‘Any time you want.’

“Oh and one more thing…”

Derek’s eyes slightly grew wide with anticipation, ‘what else are you going to say?’

“Good morning, Derek.”

It almost took him off guard, yet it felt so normal. He had been waiting for it without even knowing. He had longed for it in the shadows for a while, but his eyes were blind anytime he tried to search for that little wish.

However, those words were treasured and kept close to his beating heart, not that impossible to read anymore. Derek had no clue how Stiles was able to do all of that. To undo his shield and hop into his life. To always manage to get into the crevices of his being and find a home in it.

Everything fitted into a place he couldn't name. Everything brought him to write down the definition of ‘...us.’

And so he spoke. Adding words to a story he had yet to write. Ready to describe the changes of his connection with the boy who was beginning to save his life.

“Good morning, Stiles…”

Chapter Text

Time had passed since Boyd’s death and Stiles kept his promise. Even when their pack got two leaders, Derek and Scott, he never left the wolf on his own.

Every other day, or almost every day out of the week, Stiles was there by Derek’s side as if it was the easiest thing in the world to drive back and forth from his house to the loft. But if he didn’t mind doing that, the wolf wasn’t going to bite at it either.

The boy’s presence somehow managed to make something in the alpha feel more calm and somewhat fine. His mind always drifted along all their old moments together and Stiles’ company had begun to have a meaning and an importance to the wolf.

It was a gradual build up. He could feel it getting stronger in his chest every time Stiles was around, whether yapping as he so much liked or tending to his wounds, which he liked slightly less for obvious reasons. It was an anchoring and pacifying sensation, one he’d never felt before.

‘His presence is reassuring,’ he had once found himself thinking while he was remembering how it used to feel strange. How it grew from air being punched out of his lungs to breathing in Stiles just for the comfort it provided. It was a change he didn’t see coming, but it wasn’t one he minded either.

The thought found its way in while Derek was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at Stiles cooking breakfast for them both, moving around like he was the architect that designed the place and therefore knew every little corner.

For whatever reason they didn’t care to name, they did that a lot.

One doing and the other staring. It was a dangerous dance of lingering eyes and sweet actions. Even more since their little back and forth was mixed with the strength of their connection, which was only getting steadier with every little detail their minds gathered for them.

Such as Stiles’ charming spark and energetic ranting about anything making the wolf’s day less empty, resulting in Derek growing fond of having the other around more often than not. He was never going to admit how much it actually meant for him, to have the boy in the loft with him.

The wolf did find entertaining all the boy’s thoughts and could never get enough of them anyway. All he said made time pass faster, as if Stiles could fill in all those little spots of time Derek didn’t know how to use.

It always made things run smoother, snapping from one moment to the other. Like when, that same day, time went from breakfast to lunch as Stiles’ words filled all the hours the wolf would’ve usually spent in silence. And during his time with the alpha, the boy noticed a few more perks of his red-eyed friend.

Like his perky ears which never seemed to go off, whether he was about to fall asleep or there was some blasting sound coming from the TV. Stiles liked the way he felt heard regardless of the circumstances, he liked to have Derek around and talk to him about random crap just to expand each other’s minds.

Or Derek’s way of having the other’s back even for the smallest inconvenience, which could only end up with Stiles rearing up his hits just because he knew somebody was on his side. He wasn’t going to admit how much he liked having a companion in his lonely fights.

And the boy’s knight was right there with him, during a pack meeting at the loft a few hours after lunch. They were talking about the Darach and everything that happened because of it after the alpha pack was gone.

Stiles was defending his father the best he could, just like he did for Melissa. Yet, only Derek was taking his side along with Lydia, while Scott and Isaac were battling from their side. Allison wasn’t there with them. The two missing Hales were hidden somewhere no one knew about.

He was in the middle of the room, his arms gesturing across the table in front of him, skin frustratedly red. Derek was protectively by his side without even noticing it, arms crossed and eyes half closed, a typical silent threat of his.

The alpha didn’t say a single word about any of it, he let Stiles do all the talking and he could take the fighting part if necessary. It was their unspoken oat, which he was going to follow without hesitation.

“You can’t simply put their lives at stake just because you don’t wanna make the first move, what if you guessed wrong? What if one of them dies?”

The boy was getting progressively more frustrated with Scott. His best friend couldn’t fathom the concept of gray in his black and white mindset. So Stiles pulled up his usual move.

One hand was a fist by his side, the other pointing across the room directly in Scott’s face. It was always a battle between the two because whenever they had to decide something, they were on completely opposite ends.

But the wolf bit back before he could talk.

His voice was an accusation that had finally been spoken, something that had been lingering in the air around his head, clouding his mind. Arms crossed and chin high, he seemed to mimic Derek as he let the words out.

“Would you prefer me to leave them alone to deal with their problem on their own? Especially when we caused the problem?”

It was a subtle hint.

Scott’s eyes were looking in Derek’s direction as he was talking. Isaac stepped closer to the young alpha to show he was speaking facts while he let his hands rest in his pockets. From his behavior, Stiles could tell he thought it was going to be an easy journey, to beat down the boy and the alpha in front of him, but he was about to be proven wrong.

The wolf behind Stiles’ back didn’t move and the boy was getting worked up about the whole situation. His best friend was taking it a bit too far and the veins on his arms were starting to show as blood was running faster through his bloodstream.

Voice sharp as the fangs of the alpha he had grown so close to, his words weren’t any less accusing than Scott’s. But everyone was playing with a strategy and Stiles was no less.

“If you have something to say, at least have the guts to say it.”

He held his ground with crossed arms as he spoke, feet solid beneath him on the floor. Lydia was silent but everyone knew whose side she was on since her chin was high as the boy let the words out.

Derek was directly behind him, unmovable and threatening as much as his broad shoulders could manage. His eyes hadn't looked at the ground from the moment they started and his muscles were flexed, ready to react.

Then a comment went flying across the room, masked as a question. Scott sent his message the worst way possible to Derek and Stiles was having none of it. Also because his words were meant for the alpha but he talked to his friend instead.

“Would you like only one of us to lead this pack, Stiles? Maybe someone who proved themselves to be not fit for the role?”

His mind went out the window, just anger was left in his veins. Sometimes his best friend was an asshole. Especially when he didn’t like someone he, on the other hand, dearly cared for.

Stiles could feel Derek’s presence a mere breath away. He was so going to rear up his hit, just to match.

“At least he had the guts to turn his own betas.”

That hint wasn’t as subtle as the one the wolf previously made and Stiles intended it to be just like that. He watched the scene unfolding before him with firm eyes, knowing the sentence got through the tough act of the guys in front of him.

Isaac moved back in line, Scott did the same but his eyes became red in a silent warning that went unnoticed. The wolf behind Stiles moved closer, chin up as the boy had picked it up so many times over. Then he felt something behind himself.

A hand found harbor on Stiles’ lower back. Fingers were ghost on his shirt as there was no pressure in the act, but he could feel the tips of the alpha’s claws piercing his delicate skin. He slightly turned his head to see what was going on and he was able to see red irises from the corner of his eyes.

Derek was rearing up behind him, ready for whatever could happen. Ready to defend Stiles. Ready to go against another alpha for him.

And the boy was just the same as his eyes were back on Scott, who kept up the tough act despite it not fitting him at all. Stiles didn’t hesitate with his next words as he leaned back on Derek’s fingers, taking half a step back and putting his hands in his pockets just like Isaac’s.

“So, what do you think you can do?”

It was going to be bad if they kept going.

Stiles was protecting Derek with every harsh and sharp word he could master, without ever having to second guess himself. He knew he’d still had the wolf by his side, no matter what would happen next.

Derek was ready to fight for him, no price was too much to pay because he was sure Stiles would be there with him the very next day.

He would go against the boy’s best friend if he had to; he didn’t mind who he had to fight anyway, especially if it meant protecting Stiles. He wasn’t going to back down just because it was Scott.

In just a few more seconds, things escalated quickly as Scott stared into Stiles’ eyes and then switched to Derek’s.

The young alpha was taking a step forward and Stiles was about to do the same as the boy kept his gaze fixed into the other’s eyes. The claws on his back were ready and he could see red irises from the corner of his eyes, ready to snap on the guy in front of them.

Derek followed his boy’s steps and didn’t leave his immediate proximity, he wasn’t going to allow Scott to come too close to him. Their claws were out and eyes were bright as the full moon. Only the table remained between them.

Stiles was going to patch up his wolf afterwards if necessary, there was no doubt in that. And he also knew Derek wasn’t going to be the one with injuries at the end.

But luckily nothing happened. Lydia made them all leave.

She went to Scott and Isacc, picking at each of them to follow her if they didn’t want to be dragged out of there and they both moved. The young alpha more hesitantly than the beta, but they did as she wanted regardless of everything.

Walking away from the other two, she waved her goodbyes to Derek and Stiles, who remained at the loft. Behind her, Isaac and Scott were slim figures following her like pups.

Yet, Isaac was the only one with his head low. Scott looked behind himself once and Stiles gave him a hard look. ‘Don’t you ever dare to do that again.’ It was meant to say, but the boy knew it was probably going to not be listened to by the other.

Derek kept his gaze fixed on the alpha exiting the place, always with his hand on Stiles’ back. It was kind of strange how he felt so protective of the boy in front of him, but he seemed to feel the same way.

'Friendship.' The alpha thought, making it the reason why they were being so defensive of one another. He really tried to believe it…

After they all left, the loft was back to his usual components, just the two of them and no one else. Stiles looked behind himself, Derek wasn’t visibly hurt but the boy wasn’t blind either. He might’ve kept his cool all along and was ready to fight, but it didn’t mean it was just that.

His hand fell back in place, claws retrieving and the red of his alpha eyes was long gone, went somewhere far away leaving space only for Derek’s green irises. Stiles turned all the way towards him as he felt the hand go away, noticing the wolf’s docile and almost exhausted manner he was letting out.

“Are you okay, Derek?” Asked Stiles, worried about the other as his hands found their way out of his pockets and were back by his sides. The wolf just nodded, ‘yeah’ felt like a lie to Stiles but he didn’t push any further.

He let it be for the rest of the day but it could be seen all the time, because the alpha’s mood wasn’t the same as always. The light and calm mood he somehow always managed to have wasn’t there to linger between them.

So, when Stiles should've left the loft to go home, he didn’t and Derek looked at him in question. He simply explained “I wanna stay for the night, just to keep you company” and the wolf was very much okay with it.

The loft was like a second home to the boy and the wolf never minded sharing with him.

So, Stiles went upstairs and changed clothes, stealing just a t-shirt from the wolf’s drawers, religiously navy blue and leaving his legs bare with only his boxers. Derek did the same a few moments later, from jeans and tight shirt, to gray sweatpants and a white tank top.

Derek had learned through the past months that Stiles loved borrowing his clothes, oversized for his slim figure just like the boy liked. He even ended up making his friend’s little habit of getting comfortable indoors his own, enjoying the soft comfort of home clothes.

But the wolf had also learned how Stiles loved spending time in company, chit chatting and sharing a communal place with someone he enjoyed having around. And he also learned that, apparently, his favorite company was Derek.

Everything meant that both of them were growing fond of simply being as comfortable as possible in each other’s presence.

Which was why, after they had their usual Stiles-made dinner, a fancy lasagna his mother always used to make, they sat on the couch and watched a movie. Some creepy dystopian story about a maze and some kind of apocalypse.

And as the movie was going on with his full attention, Stiles was getting colder.

The early days of winter were coming in and the loft was not warm enough for his taste. He was starting to resent the biting cold on his thighs and he sure was going to do something about it. Only one option was enough to warm him up.

But he could’ve also blamed his poor choices in clothing, and could’ve simply went upstairs to change them into something warmer but those light clothes gave him another reason to do what he knew they both liked the most.

It was their way of exchanging closure, and after all, who doesn't like being close to those you care for, right?

So, from his sitting position on the couch, he lifted his arms from his lap, making grabby hands at Derek.

“Wanna cuddle?”

It was that soft tone of voice the wolf always liked to hear, which brought his eyes on the other in record time.

Derek was simply looking at him and Stiles moved to sit with his legs long on the couch, barely touching the wolf as he put each leg around him. His shoulders were on the armrest, arms open waiting for the other. The wolf moved with care, not wanting to cause any harm to the other.

He slid over Stiles’ slim figure, laid on top of him with his head on the boy’s chest, listening to his heart pumping blood in his body. Smooth legs surrounded the wolf's lower back, barely even touching his clothed skin. Rough arms went around a thin torso, proving all the warmth possible.

It had ended up being their default setting for spending time together a while back; glued to each other as neither of them minded, simply because they both liked feeling the other so close. And friends do that, right?

It was their usual way of being together ever since Boyd died, and they knew anyone in the pack would’ve frowned at it but when Derek once asked him about it, Stiles’ reply was neat.

“They can say whatever they want and we would just snuggle even closer to make them mad, right?” It cracked a laugh out of the wolf back then and the effect remained the same any time his mind went back to it…

Stiles was caressing the wolf’s head with care, sliding his fingers through his black hair while his other hand went on the wolf’s back, resting there for some time before he started making circles over the covered Hale tattoo.

Derek simply held the boy’s torso, arms nested between the couch and his body, while his own muscles were relaxing at such a close proximity with someone that became so meaningful to him.

The movie went on and eventually ended as well, both of them enjoyed it along with their time together. Then, Stiles spoke about the film, making some comments about it. It was the only part Derek was actually waiting for, like always.

“That guy was still a good leader though! Everyone makes mistakes and how could any of the other guys expect him to be the best if he never knew any better and was never taught anything about it. He did his best with what he knew and he even died protecting them all… He was a good guy even if he wasn’t the best of the leaders!”

He was being very passionate about it while Derek was mildly interested in how calming Stiles’ hand felt on his back. It was driving him to sleep faster than he’d expected. Especially since he didn't plan on falling asleep.

And although his dear companion was chanting compliments at the character, Derek’s mind wandered to how many times Stiles had helped him, just like the movie guy did as the boy praised his deeds.

The amount of support Stiles silently gave him as he was secretly trying to heal was astonishing. As if the boy knew everything, like he had a file with all the things Derek was trying to break free from.

Then, while his mind was coming back into the present moment, he tried not to dwell too much on the past that was coming to the surface. But sometimes memories were too strong to fight when slightly provoked.

They made tears come to his eyes way too easily. All those painful moments, all those harsh words and bloody cuts were also beginning to mix with what Scott said earlier.

His sharp words never really left his mind since he had said them but he tried to play it cool, he didn’t want to think too much about them. Yet, they still somehow managed to become stronger with the boy’s body below him.

As if Stiles was a safe harbor that made the raging storm of his memories and comments wake up just to spite him. To steal from him a soft moment with the boy and reform it into another tearful instant of his life.

So, while Stiles was still yapping about his new favorite guy from the film, Derek tightened his hold around him and hid his face in the other’s chest. He hoped Stiles didn’t mind.

The fingers on his back were the only thing grounding him as he felt everything crashing down in his chest, thigh strings pulling at his control. The beginning of tears was tangible in his nervous muscles.

He tried to keep his breathing the same, he tried to hide just a bit more. ‘Maybe it’ll go away in a few seconds,’ he hoped as he wasn’t listening anymore to the boy’s words on the film.

Hands were holding thigh behind the boy’s back, as if his safe place could slip away from his fingers. He hoped he was too focused on the movie to notice him.

He really, stubbornly did hope that thinking about Stiles.

Boy who had more ears and eyes than every single mythological creature and for whom it was extremely easy to sense someone’s changes. Especially when they were going on in front of his very own eyes.

In fact, it didn’t take long for Stiles to notice the shift in Derek’s behavior. The way his back was tense underneath his soft touch, or how he could tell the wolf was afraid he was going to disappear in thin air by the fists piercing his lower back.

But he didn’t think Derek was being anything if not human. Not miserable, not pathetic or whiny, just human. And to Stiles’ sensitive heart, it just meant the wolf needed some closure he didn’t know how to ask for.

Which was why he didn’t stop caressing his back and stroking his hair, anchoring him beneath his fingers while he lowered his voice and spoke more calmly about the movie guy, until he let him go unheard of. He even held his torso with his own legs, lightly rested by each of the wolf’s sides. He wanted to focus only on him.

A few tears even found their way on Stiles’ shirt and the boy could feel a cold, wet spot beginning to form on his chest. He never minded wiping away the other’s tears in one way or the other.

And by knowing him as well as he did, his question was aimed perfectly.

“Hey… What are those tears for, now? Is it because of what Scott said?” Asked Stiles. Both his hands were drawing shapes on tense muscles, little circles on the wolf’s back and some kind of gentle pressure was being applied on the nape of his neck as his hands traveled there as well.

‘You and your smart mouth, always hitting the right spot’ thought the wolf, but he still shook his head, agreeing even when his mind was battling him. Stiles had scored another point on the board in his mind by getting him to nod and his next words came out sugar coated, wanting to soothe Derek.

“Derek, you big cuddly wolf, you’re a good leader and a good person, Scott is just a dumbass sometimes and you know that too. You don’t have to listen to everything he says just because he’s a true alpha or for whatever other reason. Got it?”

But the wolf was as stubborn as a mule and unfortunately Stiles knew that well, almost too well. Among many other things.

“Look at me, Derek…” Sounded like a plea from Stiles’ lips, voice soft like petals falling from a flower. The wolf looked up from his hiding spot, his eyes were already a little red and the boy took his face in his hands, holding him gently but firmly.

Staring in his eyes, Stiles revived all the details of how Derek had changed in the past months. The bitey wolf didn’t bite back as much, on the contrary he was letting the boy in, but only him.

It even seemed to have intensified after Scott became a true alpha, as if the alpha on his chest was almost pulling the boy into his life, not wanting him to go too far from him.

But that wasn’t all. Derek had silently allowed the boy to touch him more, letting him do things like holding his face or his hand. And although it happened only when they were alone in the loft, it still meant a lot to Stiles…

His fingers were like butter on his skin, sweet and kind as he wiped away some fallen tears that had escaped green eyes. As he traced his cheek and wiped another lonely drop, Stiles held his face in his hands, scanning all the small features that made Derek the man that he was.

From his signature eyebrows that spoke more than his rosy lips to cheekbones that could compete with Mount Everest, starting again from his pointy nose to his sharp jawline Stiles was currently tracing with soft fingers, as if he could cut himself on the juncture of Derek’s neck and ear.

His eyes ended up falling on the last, but not least, feature that almost everyone knew of Derek Hale: his green eyes, which seemed to be covered in a thin, perpetual veil of gray. Then he noticed something he thought was supposed to be impossible.

Something he had rarely seen on anyone else and that apparently fitted the wolf almost like a glove. A glove that Stiles wished he could pull off of him, just because he had a brief idea of why it was there.

He traced those soft marks with a single fingertip, eyes unconditionally speaking a secret language only the wolf could translate as he spoke.

“Derek… You have tear scars around the corner of your eyes.”

The wolf didn’t say anything at first and Stiles ended up pulling his face closer to his own, squeezing his hand impossibly close together while Derek’s face was still between them. His eyes lingered above the other’s skin, eyes curious and full on detective mode but still maintaining their caring gaze.

“What?” The other finally said, surprised at Stiles’ words. It took him a few more moments to actually respond with something other than stupor, “I can’t have scars, Stiles. You know that too.” His mind drifted to when the boy patched him up after any fight he had, trying to understand what he might be talking about.

So, Derek raised himself on his elbows to meet Stiles’ gaze. His hands didn’t leave his cheeks, legs still brushing his sides and the wolf wondered if the other was joking or something similar. Knowing Stiles, there were a variety of possibilities he could choose from.

“Well, you do have them though… You know what tear scars are?”

Derek didn’t know how to answer, never even bothered to notice such things anyway, and Stiles simply explained it to him. “When someone cries a lot, the salt in the tears can burn the skin and leave marks, scars.”

‘Fair play, Stiles’ and Derek just stared back at him, his face softly illuminated by the falling sun as the beginning of night was coming through. The boy could see in the alpha’s eyes how his mind was already speeding to shame.

“Stiles… You know you’re annoying when you do this, right?” And the other had just a faint smile on his lips. His fingers were ghosts above velvet skin, eyes stared back at him and he wondered what Derek was looking at so intensively.

But that wasn’t the right moment for such things. So he let it fall, letting the look he got go unnoticed. “Yeah, big guy, I’m well aware of that but I’m not saying anything too out of the ordinary… Well, maybe a bit since I didn’t know werewolves could get tear scars.”

The wolf’s face fell a bit, ‘I shouldn't have scars…’ And just as always, Stiles didn’t need much time to read right through him. Somehow, they fell into this habit of theirs to read each other like an open book any time it was somewhat needed, yet Stiles had to read more than Derek, but neither of them minded.

“Derek…” was a soft start that led to ‘embrace the impact now, you’re gonna get it anyway, fine?’ Which was as written in prints on Stiles’ face.

The wolf stared at him, eyes seemingly empty despite the amount of unsaid words they were holding in. Stiles could read each and every single one of them like he was the one who wrote them.

So, why wouldn’t he subtly tell a wolf prone to anger how important his scars are, despite the fact they shouldn’t be there?

“Some scars are just meant to stay with us… Despite supernatural healing capacities and stuff, I guess.” Stiles looked in his eyes for a long second, a forest within irises stared back at him without their usual buzzing red. It wasn’t so missed anyway. It never came out when it was just the two of them, no matter what was happening.

Unless something made Derek feel threatened.

It happened only once when the wolf was having a nightmare and it was the start of their little covenant, so more than anything it was a treasured memory.

One that spoke more words than the silence the alpha intended on keeping, so Stiles added up.

“And it’s not a bad thing to have them.” Derek looked down, eyes lost in Stiles’ shirt. “You see something more interesting in my shirt than my eyes now?” Was another failed attempt to get the wolf to talk, at which the boy tilted his head in solicitation.

Their silent agreement of sharing time together, despite providing comfort, surely had at least one goal for Stiles, among many others: to get Derek to talk, at least to him, about his feelings.

‘I said I wouldn't let you be alone, but you gotta participate too or this will be a monologue and you wouldn’t want me to rant forever, do you?’

Yet, he wasn’t convinced by Stiles’s kind eyes. ‘They shouldn’t be there anyway’ was his way to argue, but no words were actually spoken.

So Stiles, who had become a librarian, found the right book in the correct shelf and opened it on the only page necessary for the day. Derek’s eyes weren’t as cryptic as he wished since the boy read right through him and the wolf minded that a little bit, but it was only a facade of false wishes.

‘Let me have it my way…’ was another empty plea made out of rusty, poor habits he didn’t know how to leave behind. And despite whatever weak effort was put into keeping his gaze silent, his eyes spoke for him anyway. So, while the other was staring right into them, the boy debated in his mind with the quiet wolf.

‘I can read you like a case file on my dad’s desk. Whatever you’re trying to hide, you know damn well I’m gonna find it.’

Stiles then spoke some light words in the air between them as Derek’s mind was crowded with negative things the wolf could say about himself. His voice was soft and solid, it was like he was doing a speech, made to silence those harmful thoughts he didn’t want the other to think about.

“You might be thinking, which I know you are, that those scars prove Scott’s point or maybe even mean you’re weak somehow. Maybe because in that head of yours you think scars mean weakness, since you should heal from basically everything. But let me let you in on something, big guy. The revelation of the century: you’re so wrong about it.”

He paused, pulled the wolf’s chin up since it had fallen down a bit and rubbed one of his cheeks with his fingers, ‘hear me out before biting me, alright?’ Was a reasonable trade in his mind and Derek silently accepted; his eyes plain and calm looked relieved, eyelids closing as he relaxed.

“...Go on” was the only thing Derek had said in a defeat tone that hid his true feelings. It was what Stiles needed to hear in order to know he was headed the right direction, and that a lone wolf was following right behind him.

‘Look what you made me do…’ Was the single admission Derek granted to the boy in his mind as his eyes focused only on Stiles’ face.

How could he ever drift his eyes anywhere else anyway?

Soft skin traced little lines on his skin, rosy and pale. Derek had no hint of tension in his body in that moment and Stiles was glad for it. So he spoke again in that matter-of-factly but gentle tone of his and as he kept caressing, the wolf's cheeks got progressively more red.

“You had to go through some tough shit, big guy. We both know that by now… And those little scars on the corner of your eyes just prove you survived that crap.”

Neither of them moved, the sun was long gone and the moon was coming along. Stiles traced another line of care on the other's skin. It got the wolf to take a deep breath he didn't know he needed.

What came next was a truth the wolf had never been ready to commit to. One he thought he could never claim as his own, but Stiles made it sound easy. As if it could be real because it was accompanied by his caring fingertips.

“You aren't weak, Derek. Those little red lines don't mean you're weak…”

Derek leaned into the touch. He wasn't getting tired of staying on his elbows, but he decided that melting a bit more on top of Stiles was the better option. He could hold his earthy eyes while laying on his breathing chest anyway, using his chin as leverage to share the other’s gaze.

Stiles didn't let any words slip from his lips as the wolf got comfortable on his body, for whatever reason he felt like Derek had something to say.

And he wasn't so wrong, since muffled sounds finally could be heard from the wolf’s mouth. Strangled but still there, Stiles could hear old habits coming back again. He was getting ready to fight them as he heard his words.

“They remain a shame for a werewolf, Stiles…”

He didn’t miss one bit at that.

“And here you are being wrong again, you're serving me all the points on a silver platter... Because there's nothing to be ashamed about having scars and as simple and common as it sounds, it's completely true.”

Derek lost another lone tear that Stiles stole. The wolf wasn’t even sobbing, all there was were single tears, running down one at the time every few minutes. And the boy didn’t let him be in that dangerous silence that could revive his mind.

“And you know what could convince you?” Derek looked at him, wide eyes in question. Not having to be vocal around Stiles was a new found freedom. Especially as he was losing their little debate on every front and talking wasn’t the best option anyway.

Stiles took one of his hands in one of his, “I never told you this and I'm pretty sure no one ever noticed it either…” He began to move and the wolf got back on his elbows. The boy ended up placing his fingers just above the waistband of his boxers, where his skin was being exposed as he pulled his shirt slightly up with his other hand.

“I have a few too.” It was a strange admission to someone’s ears. But the wolf looked in the boy’s eyes as he felt slim legs trying to relax by his sides.

Dumbfounded, Derek looked between Stiles's eyes and apparently, his scars.

Upon one of Stiles’ hips, the left one, a scarred line had found its home. It followed the natural curve of his body, from the top of the groin to the waist.

Under Derek's fingers, which moved away some fabric with Stiles’ silent permission, the scar felt hot and bumpy. The boy held the wolf’s hand as they traced it together from start to end.

On the same side, he had another trailing the line of his stomach, starting from the side reaching his belly button. It was small but thick and it got the wolf a bit worried, but the concern went away as Stiles was caressing his wrist as he was holding it, fingers massaging the alpha’s skin while guiding him to trace the scarred skin.

Once he could avert his gaze from those scars, green eyes were back to look at the boy, who was smiling at him for a reason Derek wasn't made aware of.

“How did you get this, Stiles?” The hint of worry was back in his shaky voice, tangible and vivid while the other took away his concerns as best as he could.

“Well… It’s not your everyday story, but I don’t think you’ll be too impressed by it,” ‘or maybe you will be…’ Said the boy as he kept the last part a secret.

Derek kept brushing his fingers over his skin, Stiles didn't budge or move away as he laid back on top of him, just a bit to the side to be able to see his hip and stomach.

The boy was more than fine with the wolf’s care, which was why he let Derek be and then spoke again. It was a nice feeling, to be cared for so simply and Stiles was glad to feel it with the wolf.

“A few years ago, before highschool started, good times before the supernatural came in… Anyway! I was sneaking around at night following the lead of one of my dad’s cases. It was about some kidnapper who had this thing for mutilating his victims and shit like that…”

The fingers on his hip had more pressure in them than before and trailed over the one on his stomach. Derek sensed what could have possibly happened when the legs near his waist were beginning to tense up. But he kept his eyes on the boy’s face.

Stiles rubbed more shapes on the tight lines that were the muscles of Derek’s back, trying to calm him down just a bit. He got back to his story.

“Then, as I guess you understood, he found me before I could find him. He took me from the woods and brought me to his house and… Well, he did that.” His finger pointed on his body, on which Derek’s eyes fell, looking at his scars once again.

“My father found me shortly after. Apart from the heart attack I almost gave him, he grounded me for like two years or something.”

Derek looked back at him and Stiles had a smile on his face, like there was any good in the story he just shared. Like the part he was letting out was the good part of it all. But the meaning behind that smile was unknown to Derek, which was why he asked him about it.

“Are you seriously smiling right now? After the story you just told me?”

Stiles couldn’t even begin to explain, in a way or another, how relieved he was by all that. By the fact it ended and he was the one coming on top, so he trailed the story elsewhere.

“You know, I actually like it a lot…” Was too out of the world of an answer from Stiles. Derek looked into his amber eyes, wondering how he could be so…

“It reminds me of the time I survived a bad thing... And it just looks cool, admit it.” Derek let out a muffled laugh but the concern in his heart didn’t go away entirely.

The smile on the wolf's face was hidden in Stiles’ chest and his fingers didn’t leave their new found place. He felt a bit calmer since Stiles was somewhat on good terms about such a story in the very end.

‘You really make me wonder how we even got this far if you are so reckless most of the time…’

Time went on, just about twenty minutes as Derek never stopped caressing his hip and stomach, switching from one to the other and Stiles never made his circles on the wolf's back in the opposite direction.

But after some more time when silence was all around them, the boy broke it, deciding to share his story. Fully.

‘I want you to know you can trust me, I want you to know me.’ His mind went over his past and his heart knew it would be shuttering with every word he was about to share, but he wanted to do it for Derek.

‘I want you to know you can share everything with me.’ And so his story began.

“That man got me in the woods, gave me some drugs and took me to his basement with his minivan.” It was a simple start, which immediately got the wolf’s ear to listen. Green eyes shot back up from the boy’s chest, cheek glued on top of Stiles’ beating heart. The concern came back full force but he kept it at bay.

“My eyes were foggy but I got clear glimpses every now and then. But I remember mostly when… He threw me on a mattress on the pavement, then dropped a buck of cold water on me.”

Derek held Stiles with care, trying to give him some sense of protection, that he was safe with him. The boy had teary eyes but the wolf’s actions were welcomed and treasured as Stiles removed one hand from his back and caressed his cheek, tagging at him to come closer.

The alpha sort of did and pulled him slowly down the couch, so that they were head to head and Stiles let himself be caged in Derek’s arms.

“He kept telling me it was going to feel good… That the knives were sharp so they’d hurt as little as possible…” Derek kept one hand caressing his scars, reassuring him it was all in the past, while the other held him around his waist, keeping him close to his own body.

“He held me to the ground. I shouted, screamed, tried to get him off of me but he was too strong…”

Stiles had one single tear running down his cheek; the wolf wiped it away like the boy did for him every other time when he was the one with broken and sore eyes.

“He ripped my shirt off, tore it open with a knife and pulled it off of me, then he…” Stiles held the hem of Derek’s shirt, the alpha held him with more strength, fingers caressing his body where the wolf was holding him.

“He ran his knives on my neck, my collarbone and chest… On my stomach and stopped above the waistline of my boxers.” Derek could smell the fear and disgust in Stiles’ scent; the memories he was sharing with him were nothing if not terrifying to revive.

“The tip of the knife cut above my hip… At first it didn't hurt too much, but then he pushed it deeper inside the skin…” Stiles was beginning to shake between the wolf’s arms and he held him with care, trying to soothe his slim figure with a firm, strong hold. He tried to ground the boy the way he knew he needed.

The wolf could only imagine how scared Stiles felt, but the boy didn’t stop talking. For some reason, he wanted to share it all with Derek and the alpha wanted nothing more than to care for him.

“Then he said my stomach was pretty and the knife went there… He cut me there so many times that the scar ended up chubby because of how much tissue was gone.”

Stiles took a deep breath, trying to calm down as he could feel his legs squeezing Derek’s torso between them. He didn’t want to sob, he didn’t want to let those memories have the best of him, and he managed to do so for the biggest part. A few tremors and some heavy tears still ran down his face though, and the alpha wiped them away.

But it wasn’t so easy. Calling back those moments, letting them out through his lips like the day he was being questioned at the police station, sharing them once again with someone different was set to awake terror within his tender flesh.

Yet, he was sharing everything with someone that cared for him, someone that wasn’t listening to him just to write down a repost and he couldn’t help how those caring ears made him want to hide his face in the crock of the wolf’s neck. It broke him some more, just a little more, to let Derek know about that day…

“He lied.”

Stiles let that little sentence out and when the wolf felt the boy wrapping his arms around his shoulder, it got Derek to pick up his chin, enough to see his eyes being filled with tears that soon fell down his trembling skin. “It did hurt,” ended up sobbing the boy as he couldn’t fight anymore.

“Those knives weren’t so sharp…”

Derek held Stiles as if he could fall into little pieces to the floor, stroking his back and caressing his scars to wipe away the putrid fear he could smell in the other’s hair. The boy hid his face back into the other’s neck and the alpha let him be, making sure to use his presence to reassure the boy everything was fine.

It took him a long moment to stop sobbing, to loosen up the hold around the wolf’s body and meet his eyes once again.

The hard part was done and his lips were back with their usual, small smile which Derek treasured secretly. His body still held onto its trembling demeanor, though.

“My dad found me soon after. I cried in his arms for days and he didn’t even need to ground me. I didn’t want to leave my room for a very long time after that, but they got the guy and he ended up with a life sentence to pay.”

Derek was already caressing his body, gently and lightly so Stiles knew he’d retrieve his hands if he wanted him to. And the boy hid in his neck, clinging to his body, arms going around his shoulders and the alpha let him do whatever pleased him the most.

The wolf could tell there was something else going on in the other’s mind and when the boy spoke, he never thought he’d feel so on edge.

“When I sneaked into my dad’s office to get the case files, I missed a file that wasn’t even in the room.” His voice was flat, distant and low as Stiles spoke in the crock of Derek’s neck.

“I missed the part where it said: ‘The suspect has a tendency to slaughter some of his victims… Putting each of their body parts into small bags’...”

And Stiles sobbed again into Derek’s hug while the wolf held him together, one hand went behind his head and one was always holding his back. Stiles had his own arms all around the wolf, pushing their bodies into one another and lifting his back off the couch.

To the wolf’s senses, he reeked of fear, pure terror, as he was shaking in his arms. He could almost portrait that moment of disbelief when the boy found out about the missing detail.

“I got so lucky with it, you know?” Was what the boy said through hiccups and more sobs. He wasn’t even trying to fight it off anymore, too exhausted from the quiet convulsions that were coming to disturb his already trembling body.

But Derek wasn’t going to let him experience that fear any longer. He spoke with that dominant voice of his, alpha and all of that, only for Stiles to know he was ready to kill for him. Whether it was going to be Scott or the killer his boy was talking about.

“It’s over now, I’ll never touch you again for as long as I’m alive.”

And Stiles calmed down; he saw the red of the wolf’s eyes and took a deep breath, face out of its hiding spot. He knew Derek well and despite the scary facade being mostly an act to scare away everyone around him, it didn’t mean the wolf wasn’t strong enough to protect his own.

So Stiles breathed, letting his tears be wiped away or letting them dry on his hot skin. His sobs were fading and he was beginning to relax at his own pace and used the huge wolf on top of him as a blanket. He was sure Derek didn’t mind, he was always so docile with him.

He couldn’t allow any air that wasn’t the one he breathed from the wolf’s neck into his lungs, it was the only way he had to actively calm down. He let the tip of his nose run up the wolf’s neck, knowing the other could tell he needed to feel his presence in whatever way his mind came up with.

And Derek let him do everything. Nose on his neck, hands around his shoulders, legs surrounding his torso, chest pushing into his chest. He didn’t want to keep anything from Stiles, he didn’t want to deprive him of anything he needed in that instant. Which was also why he reciprocated.

Resting his head on top of the boy’s head, holding his back and caressing his old, heavy scars that carried so much anguish in Stiles’ life. His legs laid between the other’s, which were slowly coming back down on the couch.

The alpha could hear their breathing syncing up; Derek’s breathing pattern became Stiles’ calming path, which he calmly followed and matched as time went on until they breathed in their conjoined exhales.

And just like that, it was over.

His story ended with his hand hesitantly cleaning his face from any tears left, any trace of sadness on his features. Derek didn’t say anything, he simply held Stiles like the boy did for him so many times and his mind called it complicity, partners in crime if the crime was having such harsh skeletons in the wardrobe.

And while Stiles relaxed beneath him, the wolf wondered about his own awful stories and his mind considered the way of sharing one of his own, but his throat pulled back, heart taking away his voice when he only wanted to grow closer to the boy.

He couldn’t burden Stiles at that moment. Another time might be better, if the right time to tell such stories ever existed…

They stayed there, Stiles’ scent got back to his usual honey and lavender, while Derek hid back in his chest as the boy pulled him back down in return for when the wolf did the same earlier.

“Go back where you belong,” came out cheesy from the boy’s lips and they both laughed at it to get back their comforting closure.

So, back in Stiles’ embrace where the wolf supposedly belonged according to the boy, his hands traced comforting and reassuring shapes above Stiles’ scars and for some reason, it didn’t feel wrong in the slightest. He couldn’t keep his hands off of him, off of those bumpy sealed injuries that he just learned about.

All of those details he picked up in his scent, all of those trembling instances in which Stiles seemed to freeze between his fingers, everything seemed to be something the boy gifted to him. A long, tearful moment Derek was going to remember and treasure, because it meant connection.

Everything told the alpha they were closer than ever and in his mind, a single line of thought made its way in.

‘And here you are, being so strong and fragile at the same time…’ And he couldn’t keep it to himself, especially when Stiles always spoke to him with gentle words no matter the situation.

“You are very strong, Stiles. And fragile… Still, you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”

His words got Stiles to pick his chin up to meet his eyes, a soft smile was on his lips and Derek wondered if it ever left or not. He wondered what might be the reason behind it.

“You are too, whether you speak about it or not. I know you are.”

Because Stiles knew everything, whether or not Derek spoke about it or not, and it made the wolf feel seen. It made him feel like he could share the deepest part of his existence with just a few looks and some strangled words.

Because Stiles cared. Because Stiles was somewhat his.

So, while the late evening made its way and pushed the bright day away, they let themselves relax. Derek knew they still had some more hours before night would call for them and he was going to memorize the exact rhythm of Stiles’ heart.

Just because it was relaxing to know he was still with him, just because he could be so close to him to be allowed to do such a thing.

And they ended up silently tangled on the sofa. Legs and arms spawned and wrapped around each other’s bodies, noses breathing in each other’s presence.

It was how they were going to be.

A still-beating heart and some perky ears learning its tune.

Chapter Text

It had been just a bit more than a week since Stiles had shared with Derek his painful story from the past and the scene didn’t change much.

The living room was silent, Derek was watching whatever passed on the TV in the late evening, while Stiles fell asleep less than an hour prior to when it started to rain outside. The rainy, cold season of the first few weeks of winter wasn’t exactly welcomed by the boy, who couldn’t help but crave more warmth with each passing day, asking for it from the alpha who just gave everything to him.

Derek hadn’t mind the change the boy had made in the past weeks, simply because he just wanted to be by the alpha’s side as much as possible to not turn cold in ten seconds. And the wolf didn’t even blink when he heard about it, especially since he couldn’t really stand being in the loft with Stiles without, at the very least, melting on top of him.

Which was exactly what he was doing as Stiles was snoring and kicking his feet in his dreams under him, using the wolf’s body as his only provider of warmth and soothing care.

‘What are you dreaming about? Chasing dogs?’ He wondered the tenth time the boy’s leg kicked to the side, which the wolf even had to place back on the couch with tender fingers so that he could continue with his blissful sleep. Maybe the soft rain outside helped him keep his eyes closed, but Derek had no way to know anything, he could only tell the soft play of string his heart insisted on pursuing.

It was another type of feeling. It was old, because he had been experiencing it for a long while, but it was different, like something was about to crash down that very same day. Or maybe something was going to placate the spiraling questions that had been crowding his mind.

‘What are we doing?’ It was a brief instant on the couch in which he was secretly sniffing the boy’s neck, like so many times before during which he sometimes even got caught. But he couldn’t get enough of it, savoring the sweet scent that was Stiles’ signature. He knew the boy didn’t mind, he even told him that more than once.

‘He feels it too, doesn’t he? I can pretty much tell that…’ Another little detail, a small and vague hint of something more than the plain diligent execution of cuddles, always on the couch and sometimes on the bed. The boy often reciprocated his actions, mimicking the way a wolf would share its joy through burying his face in his neck. He knew Stiles could understand his behavior, he was a smart guy after all.

‘Why only Stiles?’ Came out whenever there was a pack meeting and he had the surging instinct of baring his fangs and threatening with dominant eyes whoever was too close to the boy, but he always kept it at bay. He knew Stiles didn’t want to put on him more bandages than strictly necessary.

‘Why do I feel at peace when he’s around?’ The newest one was the one that had been hammering his head in the past few days. It was an unique way of putting into words something he had only ever been able to utterly feel through every soft, feathered touch and each gentle, reassuring word of the boy. He knew Stiles…

Did Stiles know anything about it? The alpha had no way to know; sure, he could take in a lungful of the boy and read his emotions but could he even begin to grasp anything about that feeling of quiet salvation he felt because of the boy? He knew he could never reach the bottom of that feeling without getting the boy involved, but it was fine regardless.

Derek couldn't really understand what was the logic behind his peace being with Stiles. But was there any logic in longing and belonging?

In the end, he didn’t think so, especially when his mother always put great passion in explaining to him and his siblings the concept of family, the reason every single living creature was drawn to find their own other half. It was his mother’s way of keeping them all together, to make sure the Hales would still be together even with time’s passage…

His mind brought back to him memories of her wavy hair, how her eyes were always firm and gentle at the same time. The way she walked with a speechless amount of confidence no matter the circumstances, and how some of her kids picked that same trait. But he couldn’t leave out how the world had shaped her to be the respectful leader she was.

Which got him into more thinking, a habit that seemed to have softened, forming gentler or flat thoughts. Especially when Stiles was beneath him, with both hands still on his shoulders despite being completely emerged into sleep.

‘How has the world shaped me?’

Derek tried to search hard and long for something that could fill the blanks of a hypothetical answer, but nothing really seemed to fit into place. He decided he didn’t really have an answer to that, and while his mind was getting emptied with every single attempt to figure out a glimpse of an answer, Stiles snored loudly into his ear.

It made the wolf chuckle a soft laugh, ending with his lips turning into a thin slime. His eyes then looked up at the boy, who always managed to push his thoughts away. Apparently, whether he was asleep or not wasn’t relevant to his little trick.

He kept looking at the boy while something caught his ears. The TV started sharing the news of the day and he knew it was around 7 PM, time for dinner.

It had been a tiring day for them both, Derek wasn’t going to dismiss that little fact.

Scott passed by the loft before Stiles arrived that day, rambling about the Darach and who remembered what else as he stormed into the living area, very much invited. Derek didn’t even have time to say anything about any of it, the other guy just went in and kept on with his marathon speech about everything and nothing.

He even sat on Derek’s couch and as he kept going about their current enemy, Scott started to dig deeper. Or better to say, backwards.

Every word was aimed to poke Derek’s past somehow, but he kept his composure and held tight his stoic appearance despite it being a hard task, especially when the young alpha started pinching at the fire that killed his family and how the Argents might’ve had nothing to do with it. His reason why?

Allison didn’t know anything about it, despite being formally introduced to her family’s heritage a while back by then. Therefore, the silent alpha, who was speechless as he felt a stabbing ache in his back, could be wrong after so many years.

Being questioned about his memories of the time had its tool on him and it wasn’t a good thing; his mind was spiraling, chest strangling the air out through his nostrils, throat going dry even though he didn’t even say a word. He couldn’t really comprehend why Scott would come all the way to his house just to pull the chains around his neck.

And when he finally managed to get the guy out of his loft, trying to almost push him out since his ears were bleeding from how much he felt pressured into the conversation, something even worse came out of the young man's mouth. Something Derek considered to be way too cruel even for him, especially for the dismissal tone he used.

“In the end, it’s not like any of the Argents did anything to you personally, so what’s the big deal anyway? You’re still alive…”

Derek looked at him, face blank as if everything inside his body had stopped working, and he stood in front of the door motionless, watching as Scott finally went away and left him alone.

‘He has no way to know about any of it… Just forget about it.’ But he didn’t, in fact, forget about it in the slightest. He ended up thinking about it on repeat, questioning himself and how much of the truth was in his memories, until Stiles showed up on his doorsteps, knocking on the door which he went to open for him.

He was glad his boy was finally there with him; his mind was at ease sooner than later and he couldn’t have done it without Stiles. It was good that when he went to greet him, he felt no need to speak. He just needed to know his boy was there, he just needed to breathe in his scent and let everything run away from him.

But it wasn’t like the boy didn’t have his slice of burden on his shoulders either.

Stiles had a heavy workload from school, with exams piling up as teachers seemed to all have agreed to get their agendas full on the same week for some random reason. Which added up to some teachers’ words about his intelligence, calling him ‘the peak of stupidity’ for whatever he said or did.

It always put a burden on his shoulders, one he could never stop overthinking even though it just caused him more pain any time his mind would go over it again. He was just different, he had his way with doing things and it worked just fine with him, so what was the reason to be so harsh with him?

Wondering about it never brought him any solution or answer to the problem teachers had with him, but he never stopped putting all his effort into his work assignments even when he felt it was going to be useless. Even when one of his favorite teachers, after pulling him aside after class one day, told him the unthinkable.

“You should be more organized, Stiles. Your notes are messy with the load of questions you always ask; it is genuinely embarrassing to see how many answers you need to fully grasp a concept. So, do you think you could do me the favor to be less… Needy, when it comes to my subject?”

It hurt him enough that his first line of thought whined through his mind, ‘is it so wrong to be curious? Why can’t you get that I simply need to understand the basis to get the rest…’

And when he heard about the infamous last words, ‘tomorrow there’ll be a pop quiz’, he didn’t even flinch or move a finger. He didn’t even bother with going home to study after school, he just hopped into the jeep and drove to do all that studying in his dear companion’s house.

‘At least you understand me… I know you do.’ The wolf did, which was why he could smell the pain in his steps that very same day and decided, for that very same reason, to hug Stiles when he came through the door, nudging his neck with his nose, earring the boy taking a deep breath and putting the day aside.

He then sat on the couch and started studying. Making maps and writing down little notes that would help him memorize the subject was his way of doing things, one the wolf always looked at fondly since he could sneak a peek to know what Stiles was studying. Derek was never more than a few feet from him sitting on the other end of the couch or on the other side of the table, depending on where the boy was sat.

He liked being close to him just because he could.

Just so, when he would be done for the day with the prep for the upcoming assignment, Stiles could just call for the wolf to either wake up or scoop closer to him, depending on where he had built his studying spot that day and where the alpha was seated.

And sometimes he didn’t even need to say anything to his wolf with longing eyes.

Derek would be by his side in a matter of seconds since he had been waiting for him to finish, always dropping an eye on how much he had left to do. Just like it had happened that same day when Stiles, after closing the last textbook, laid down on the couch and the wolf instantly did the same, laying half on top of him as he was already sitting by his side.

His cheek was glued to the boy’s chest, eyes already closing with how strong his scent was. The sweet pumping sound of Stiles’ heart washed away the tight pain of Scott’s words from the alpha’s chest and hips, allowing him some peace after tormenting himself with questions he didn’t care to answer.

On the other hand, the soft weight of Derek stripped away all the stringing remarks from the boy’s mind, giving him a nice blanket of meat underneath which he ended up falling asleep up until dinner time. Time of the day that would grant them some more comfort and peace which was why the alpha wondered about it, along with a few more things…

Dinner was going to be fine, it would allow Stiles to rest some more and get some nutrients in his body, while it would serve himself some good as well since it would make his mind calmer if he’d take care of something for them both. But it wasn’t only that that occupied his mind.

Neither of them talked about their day, neither of them even mentioned it. They just let themselves be and mutually took something from the other as it was being served on a silver platter. ‘Take it, it’s for you’ was the little message they both carried in their actions, or in their sole presence, or even in their fleeing looks.

So, after he finally pondered whether or not he should be the cook for the night at 8 PM, he was sure his dear guest needed to get a good meal after such a long day, so he decided to get it going before Stiles would wake up.

He slowly lifted his body up from the boy. Escaping the gentle hold he had on his shoulders and putting himself back on his feet, always checking to avoid any noises that could cause the boy to wake up or be startled by his doing.

Eyes scanned the slim figure on the couch and immediately noticed how Stiles’ body seemed to close up at the loss of his human blanket. He pulled his arms on his stomach, his legs close together resembling a little ball that was trying to keep the warmth into its limbs, scared to freeze in the night.

‘The cold…’

It was almost autumn outside and Derek knew very well Stiles wasn’t fond of the cold. His skinny yet strong figure didn’t do well in the icy weather of the first days of October. And just like that, he decided what to do before going all chef-like to feed the little ball he had to stop staring at.

He began his search for a blanket and found it only upstairs, hidden in the closet as he had no clue where the one he gave Stiles ended up being. But who paid it any mind anyway, it was just another piece of fabric.

Once back downstairs, he opened it up as he stood next to Stiles and revealed its monotone gray, then laid the soft yet pretty heavy material on the boy, who clung to it the second he felt it hit his cold, quietly trembling limbs.

The boy tangled himself in the blanket, wrapping the poor thing all around himself, pulling and tugging at it with strength to place it as he wanted. Covering his whole body until he ended up with his legs being hugged by his arms, blanket up till it touched his chin and his thighs started relaxing. Stiles really wasn’t fond of the cold.

Derek went off to the kitchen once he was sure the boy was all tucked up, watching as his body finally felt at ease again with the heavy blanket on top of him. The wolf even took a few seconds to look at him, sitting on the armrest with his hands on his lap, just to guard over him.

‘Just for a little while,’ he thought. He wanted to be there just in case any kind of nightmare might come along, just in case. He knew something about those, he certainly did. But the boy didn’t move a finger as his eyes went over and over his figure.

Through the blanket, despite it being thick, the alpha could see the boy’s silhouette just fine. Legs stretching at a snail pace, arms forcefully glued to his chest, eyes blissfully close and mouth slightly agape.

He was sleeping soundly by then and Derek could tell his body was warming up since he was melting underneath that heavy blanket. Every tight knot Stiles had made of himself was being undone before the wolf’s eyes. ‘Maybe he finds the weight comforting…’ He wondered as he got back up, stealing one last look and moved to the kitchen.

There, his task was another. One that was pretty hard since he had nothing on the shelves.

‘Thank God he’s out cold.’ He took a sigh of relief as his mind found a solution in record time. He picked up the jacket hanging by the door, along with his keys and wallet then stormed out with feathered steps. The grocery store was the first step to prepare something nice for Stiles to eat.

Not even for a split second his mind thought about calling a take out while he went down the stairs. He wanted to treat the boy with something good, something he could cook for him.

Which would be… Soup. Chicken soup.

The nice, old recipe for soup his mom taught him when he was a little boy, the nice soup she made every Saturday during the winter. It was warm and good, he hoped Stiles would like it.

So, with his best intentions at heart, he fired up the Camaro’s engine and went to get the ingredients he knew by heart at the nearest store he could find. He didn’t want to risk Stiles waking up alone in his loft, not after he had gone through such a stressful day just to end up without the wolf by his side.

Despite the hour being one of the busiest ones throughout the day, no one was around; maybe some traffic, but nothing compared to when people got off work and all gathered to get home to their partners or families, or to their pets. Either way, to their loved ones, and Derek couldn’t wait to do the same.

The ride was quiet as the radio was set on a very low volume, he wanted to hear Stiles’ heartbeat for as long as possible, until he was too far to catch even the smallest glimpse of it. It was when the engine turned off that he couldn’t hear the boy anymore, but he knew he was going to be fine.

The parking lot was decently full despite the hour, but he paid no mind to that detail and went inside, shopping basket in hand as he picked it up when he walked through the opening. He was going to ignore all the stares he knew he would get, he had something else to do.

Walking down the aisles, searching for things left and right, his mind recited the list: ‘chicken breast, onion, carrots, cloves garlic, chicken broth, some seasoning - maybe not the ones mom used - and some noodles for Stiles.’

He went hunting for all the little things, he even went as far to even buy salt and pepper just in case there was none back at the loft. But he kept feeling something pinching his shoulders…

Despite he promised himself he wasn’t going to care about it, it wasn’t so easy when people didn’t even try to hide it. Maybe going out with a tank top and a pair of sweatpants wasn't the best idea ever, but he had hoped the leather jacket would shield him from people’s eyes, but he was wrong. It attracted them all too well, like mosquitoes sucking on sweaty skin.

Or maybe, people couldn’t help but stare at the fine man who had walked in, fit with broad shoulders, walking around as if he had just found out about his girlfriend being sick and got out of his house in a hurry, wanting to cook for her something that could nourish her and help her recovery.

The old ladies in the store surely opted for that scenario since they knew enough after looking at the items he was picking up in his shopping run. They were all too familiar with the most common soup in the world apparently.

But little did they know what his mom used to put in her soup back then, which strange and rare seasoning she used to purchase from creepy ladies and in hidden stores. ‘They just add the right touch,’ she used to say whenever Derek asked her about it.

Also, those sweet and caring women, who had been whispering about the ‘nice guy who looks like a movie star’, were wrong about the girlfriend being sick. Because who was sleeping on his couch, nestled in a heavy blanket in his loft, wasn’t neither a girl nor his partner…

‘It’s just Stiles.’

The admission broke his heart a little, he didn’t expect it to resonate so harshly in his chest. But Stiles was his friend though, right? So, why would his heart ache thinking about it?

He brushed the feeling away, averting his eyes from where they had fallen and went on with the items. One aisle had his back since he had the chance to get some sweets for the boy just in case he wanted something for dessert. Also, because he knew how much he liked sugary things after a long day and he couldn’t wait to see him smile.

It was getting late, he could tell by the store’s speakers saying their goodnight as the news for the day was over. Additionally, the piercing looks puncturing his shoulders were decreasing with how many eyes averted their aim from his strong figure. He was glad for it as it eased the rest of his adventure, which was going to be easier without an audience following his every movement.

It was time to pay for everything. Basket heavy in his grip, he looked around and the self checkout was what he went for. At least he didn’t have to hold the long stare he’d receive from the young cashier, whom he knew was waiting for him to come by. Her scent was pitched and pointy and he didn’t like such sharp edges when the soft curves of someone else were under his care.

‘Not this time, girl. The little ball on my couch is waiting.’

That was his mind’s way of saying goodbye to the store, bag in one hand and keys dangling from free fingers. He didn’t look behind once as he was back in the parking lot, losing sight of the girl who sadly went back to her load of work. All the ladies decided it was time to go back to their husbands and children as well and she was going to pull a late hour.

Securing the bag in the backseat, the Camaro made its presence known to everyone on the road as he drove by an interstate to reach the loft sooner. He probably even got a ticket at a red light since he gave gas when he saw some drops of rain on the windshield. He didn’t even mind paying the fine if it meant seeing Stiles sooner.

‘Look how much I jog around for you…’ He thought as he finally arrived back to his loft, engine turning cold in its parking space and taking the bag in hand as the rain was starting to come down faster.

Up the stairs and past the door, the bag was placed on the kitchen counter when he was finally inside the loft, and it wasn’t long after when he slowly made his way to the living room. He was amazed to see Stiles still sleeping despite the heavy rain outside and the TV still on, both rambling in the background. ‘Exhausted, uh?’

The boy was snoring softly, like a cat dreaming of a wild chase while having the flu and he simply let him be, turning off the TV and making sure he was covered up as he got closer to get a good look of his slim figure. He’d wake him up when dinner would be ready.

So, one last stolen look later, he got to work.

Chopping ingredients, boiling the chicken broth, adding the seasoning. Preparing the table, placing the plates and the spoons, the glasses and the drinks. He even placed the sweets by Stiles’ side of the table so that he could eat them after the soup if he wanted.

It all came so naturally and almost needed, to prepare things for Stiles, to make sure to provide something that he liked, something that would make him feel better. He had become fond of his role of taking care of the boy, after all he was always the one in need of assistance from him and he felt like he could reciprocate the gesture.

It was a strong enough reason for him to do everything in the best way possible. So, in the kitchen, things were going well.

He sadly smiled at himself at how well he still remembered how to cook his mom’s favorite recipe. It wasn’t so hard anyway, but he was never much in the mood to get himself behind the stove. But that soup, that soup always made him want to prepare as much of it as possible to feed all the people in his pack.

Which in the present moment, would be just Stiles. ‘If he thinks of it the same way.’

While he cooked with the sound of the heavy rain outside hitting the glass wall of his living room, he thought ‘maybe there’ll be a storm’ and the ticketing tune in the sky accompanied him as he stirred the soup, waiting for it to be ready.

His hands started moving on their own as his eyes went over the small scene of mundane life he had in front of his eyes. He was cooking, looking outside the window into the darkening sky with tired eyes, making soup for his guest. The rain kept his ears full of noises, but he didn’t mind.

He kept stirring the soup while Stiles was sleeping on his couch, the most home-like event he had witnessed in a very long time.

Somebody sleeping in the same room as you, feeling safe to go completely off in your presence. Derek was honored by how much Stiles trusted him, how he could sleep so close to him after what both of them knew about the other. It made the wolf wonder if it was thanks to the boy that the loft felt more like home.

But did it matter if it was Stiles, the one sleeping on his couch, that was making him feel that way?

‘Who knows… Maybe…’ And dinner was ready.

He served two plates on the table, giving them time to cool down just enough before he went to wake up the ball on his couch. He took a seat next to Stiles, trying not to fall off the edge since the boy was facing the backrest, back balancing on and off to the other side. “Stiles, dinner’s ready, come on” he whispered near his ear as he gently shook one of his arms.

The boy was already opening his eyes when Derek was ready to try again, therefore there was no need for another attempt. Stiles was quick to wake up and met the other's gaze without much surprise and without noticing. Maybe that was because he was still half unconscious, but it was just a minor detail.

His eyes looked around as nothing got stuck in his vision until he finally found Derek’s, got hold of them and registered what words the wolf had just shared with him. So in the blink of an eye, he stretched his body, blanket following his movements and sat on the couch, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.

To the alpha’s caring eyes, Stiles looked like a small child who had slept in his parent’s clothes, way too big for him as the sleeves were covering his hands, but apparently the boy liked it that way because he gripped the hem of both to keep them there.

Derek just looked at him some more, secretly trying to imprint an image in his mind of how much alive Stiles looked to him, until the boy spoke. “I'm awake,” he stated solemnly, but the low and rough tone of his voice gave him away. Sill, no one cared, they both knew he was going to be sleepy for a little while.

The wolf stood back up, making his way to the table and tracing a path for the boy to follow. Stiles stood up as well, moving the blanket away, leaving it on the backrest with half of it falling behind the couch and began staggering as his eyes were still blurry, trying to follow the other as he walked to the kitchen.

“What did you cook?” Asked the boy as he finally managed to take a seat, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes with the hem of his clothes.

“Chicken soup, hope you’ll like it” replied the wolf who sat in front of the boy and started eating. He wished Stiles would notice the sweets himself, so that he wouldn’t have to say anything about them. He wanted to let the ‘I got those for you’ part go unspoken.

And it was a look that Derek swore could make him walk without any legs. It’d made him crawl his way to Stiles if it meant seeing that stars-filled gaze he gave him one more time.

Stiles smiled like a child when he noticed the cinnamon roll next to his place. Pupils dilating and fingers dangling with excitement just as his eyes were sweetly staring at the treat. There was another veil of kindness in his eyes, one the alpha knew the other let out just when he wanted to reciprocate a feeling.

Which was why he shot a questioning look at the wolf when he thought about the meaning behind the gesture, and Derek just nodded back. The boy was already thinking about eating one, greedy for candy as he was, but he had to eat the nice soup in front of him first.

Stiles took the spoon in his hand, felt the weight of it and scooped up some of the meal, whose steam was getting in his face, making him even more prone to sleep. But he fought it off and prepared himself to enjoy the soup he was bringing to his lips while a little joke found its way out.

“If I don't like it you're gonna shove it down my throat?”

At that, Derek didn’t feel offended as he normally would’ve, he just laughed and it made Stiles laugh as well. The boy knew he was playing with fire by speaking so harshly about the soup in front of him, mostly because it was a gift from the wolf.

But the alpha played his game, “be sure I will.” And they both giggled softly and started eating. It was going to turn cold otherwise.

Stiles never thought soup could be so good, he’d never been fond of it after all. He always found it slimy and childish, but the one Derek made for him was different, like it brought some meaning with it. Which was why he made a big show of eating it, with content huffs of agreement and eyes closed in enjoyment.

“Where did you learn how to cook this?” Stiles then asked, curious about the chicken breast mixed with noodles that were currently being chewed in his mouth. “My mom taught me,” was the only answer he got and he thought it’d be good to say how much he appreciated it.

“You did a great job, I love this soup!” He chimed with a big smile as he pushed all the food against one cheek, ending up looking like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter. He even had little canine teeth itching his bottom lip with their pointy end and those eyes of his were nothing short of filled with esteem.

‘It’s a look that suits you very well.’ Was the only thing the wolf could think as the words found their way to sip right through the cracks of his heart. Derek looked flattered and pleaded, the praise got right through him because he could tell it was genuine and also because it came from the boy.

Stiles took notice of the way the wolf’s eyes looked at his plate for a split second, which resulted in a docile look in his eyes and it made him hope to eat that soup again, ‘it could bond us more, to eat and cook together.’ And he also wanted to see the alpha being covered in compliments more often.

So he asked with a modest smile, showing how much he valued what Derek did for him with a cheerful and caring tone, “will you cook this for me again?”

And all that Derek did was smile shyly and nod his head timidly, lowering his chin and looking back up slowly. Voice small but deep, turned into a solid and confident muttering of a word. “Probably.”

They kept on eating silently after that. Stiles kept making happy noises, wanting Derek to hear how much he liked his soup to ensure he knew how much he enjoyed it. While the wolf, who tried to keep his eyes more on his plate and less on the boy’s content face, was just glad to see Stiles being happy and much more rested.

Once the soup in both their plates was gone, Derek put everything in the sink as he watched Stiles unpacking one cinnamon roll and inspecting it. He held it in his conjoined palms as if it was a bird with a broken wing that he scooped gently in his hands, holding it close to his mouth as he blew warm air on the little creature to keep it from freezing in the cold weather.

Derek didn’t say a word about it, just stole a few glances whenever he could while Stiles finished his sweet treat and the wolf put the dirty plates and glasses in the dishwasher. The boy kept reminding him of a small creature from the depth of the forest, but not a weak one. One of those poisonous ones that looks way too pretty to not cause victims.

But he knew Stiles wasn’t going to cast a spell on him by throwing a cinnamon roll at him or poisoning him with unfiltered tap water.

Once they were both done, the boy walked back to the couch, not caring about the blanket and leaving it on the couch as he waited for Derek to follow him, and the wolf did after he folded the wet cloth he used to dry the space near the sink.

Stiles sat down and when he saw Derek coming along, he laid down sprawling his body for the wolf. “Come and take your place before someone else does.” He had a small grin on his face as he said the words, it was the same grin the alpha had seen so many times already, but it always had something special in it.

“And who would?” He bit back with a smaller smile of his own, sounding offended even though he wasn’t. He just played around with Stiles because he knew the boy liked to ease the mood with poor jokes and cheesy remarks.

As Derek laid on top of Stiles, the boy wrapped his arms around him, already tracing the tattoo on his back. “Who knows…” The boy ended up saying, like there was a list of candidates ready to take the wolf’s place, but he was also satisfied to finally have his human blanket back. The cold was already cutting through him and he didn’t like that one bit.

So, they laid together on the couch for the second time that day, Derek listening to the boy’s heart and Stiles playing with the wolf’s back. Both’s minds were empty and full at the same time, going back and forth over things that did not stick anywhere in their heads. It was good.

It was really good.

Especially as time passed, since the evening was over and the moon was shining through the dark clouds of the night, painting delicate and blurry lines over their bodies on the couch. It was still raining, but there was no storm in sight.

The stars had also taken their place in the sky by then and Derek was feeling somewhat at home. Peace was something new to him, also because Stiles was the reason behind it. A Stiles who couldn't shut up despite the tons of homework he did, the soup in his stomach and how tired they both were.

“And… Going back a bit about that conversation we had,” Derek had already shifted his attention on him as the boy mentioned his tear scars without even saying it, reading it in his scent and looking up at him from where his head was on his chest. “Just so you know, those little red lines somehow make you look more like… You, simply you I guess. Because whatever happened didn't take away your kindness.”

It took Derek off guard; he had expected Stiles to ask him if he ended up believing his words, but that was out of his bucket list. His gaze was firmer but docile as he moved some more, cheek glued to the boy’s chest and he caught his eyes in a long stare. He didn’t know what to say, but he felt an overwhelming feeling of being accepted.

A smile ended up forming on his lips and Stiles forbade him from hiding it from him, moving his hand to hold the wolf’s neck to keep his head to face him. Fingers kept his chin in place, but his hold was somewhat permissive, ‘shy away if you like’ was the hidden message within the soft fingertips that were beginning to rub the wolf’s cheek.

Derek didn’t move. He let Stiles hold his head in place, surrounding him and keeping him captive in his delicate and strong hold. The fingers around his neck and cheek were warm and anchoring, renewing the oldest promise between the two and it brought a gaze filled with devotion on the alpha’s face.

It was akin to happiness, that feeling his chest was beginning to paint in his insides. The way his stomach was convulsing, his head silently spinning, his heart throbbing with a permanent ache that seemed to be caused by Stiles. But it was good, everything he received from the boy was good.

And Stiles was nonetheless immersed in the same ocean, keeping himself barely afloat as those green eyes of his wolf were chanting prayers and promises he wasn’t quite sure how to hold. But he was going to store them all, keeping them close to his heart while a chance formed before his eyes.

In the joy of their shared time, Stiles decided at the last minute to take a chance with his luck. ‘Now or never’ convinced him rather quickly to give it his all and show his care for the wolf in a more tangible way, in particular after his eyes softened more and more with each passing second.

From the other’s chin, his soft fingers moved elsewhere and the wolf didn’t see anything in it, just Stiles caressing him as he always did. Then it got stiffer, as if the boy was getting nervous over nothing, so Derek tried to reassure him through candid eyes reserved only for him.

With all the confidence he had, he took the wolf’s face in his hands, pulling it up to face him.

Derek didn’t hesitate to follow the motion and got closer to the boy’s face with his own; he had done so many times before and he had never seen anything strange with it. Also because Stiles was always kind and gentle with him, so there was nothing he had to fear happening.

But the boy pulled him closer and closer, to the point the wolf was on his elbows and could feel his steady breath hitting his lips as he exhaled his own shaky one. Yet, there was no dread in his wide eyes and quick breathing, just surprise. He didn’t understand why Stiles wanted him so close, but he wasn’t going to question his motives if not necessary.

Then he saw his eyes, slightly hit by the moonlight and enchanted with the soft glow it provided them; a splendid mix of honey and sand were Stiles’ eyes as they were firm in Derek’s ones, pale emerald and jade surrounded with a ring of dirty gold. Something was going to happen but the wolf was sure he could embrace it.

In his field of view there was only Stiles’ face, mostly his eyes as they were basically touching foreheads, and he was getting closer and closer until something hit the corner of one of Derek's eyes, who closed both of them gladly with a soft exhale of breath. It was the steadiest he let out since the boy got eye to eye with him.

Those puffy lips were soft and warm on his skin and Derek would’ve done anything to keep them there.

Stiles was kissing his tear scar, hands on his cheeks caressing him with light strokes while Derek stood on his elbows, supporting the top half of his body off of the other. He couldn't even begin to argue, to try and say he didn’t deserve those excruciatingly soft touches his boy was reserving only for him.

‘Your lips are so soft… Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking this…’

Stiles kissed one side then moved to do both, always with a tenderness that could break the toughest of guys, which was exactly how Derek seemed from the outside. But the wolf let him be, almost as if it was the most natural thing in their life to be so close, to be so open.

The boy managed to do his little gesture without frightening the wolf, earning a pliant but shocked look from him when he finally opened his eyes for a brief moment.

‘There you go, just breathe…’ He didn’t have to say it, he knew the alpha would shy away if he did, overwhelmed by the sensation of being cared for. Stiles wasn’t a fool, he knew his cuddly wolf was an easily impressed one. But it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to react.

Derek found his way to care for Stiles, to reciprocate. One hand on his scarred hip, his rough fingers were soft as they massaged his skin, feeling the thick scar tissue and keeping it warm. He could tell his fingertips were soothing the boy from the little waves of worry he could smell crashing on him. His scent was tinted with unspoken words of gratitude.

In exchange, even though he was the one to start it, Stiles kept Derek's face in his hands as he placed kisses where once were salty tears. That time, the wolf was more calm and relaxed back on top of the boy, keeping himself barely off of him with just one hand that found its place soon after.

The wolf slid his hand behind the other’s back and held him with more intention. It had a reason and a meaning to him, to be kissed so recklessly. Cared for so cluelessly. He wanted Stiles to know he cared for him as well, that he’d do anything to protect him. And that message was carried by the fingers tracing the boy’s spine.

And if Stiles didn’t expect Derek to speak out loud about everything, the wolf didn’t expect the boy’s comment just a few moments later, while their bodies were too close to notice anything else around them and soothing care was being poured out of their actions.

“You're kind…”

It was barely a whisper fallen from Stiles’ thin lips. But those little prayers of his didn't have a long life. He noticed the wolf’s eyes fall a bit, not really staying in his own amber ones anymore, drifting elsewhere to hide from the world, and from him too.

It pained the boy’s heart just a little, but he knew he’d have to fight to get Derek to open up and acknowledge some credit, especially when he questioned everything. Even after he made soup for him and was holding him like he was something priceless.

‘What type of bad guy would cook chicken soup for a guest?’ He thought, hiding the small smile it caused and focused his ears on what he heard next.

“How can you be so sure?”

Again and again, Derek kept bringing himself down like it was the mission of a lifetime, but Stiles was having none of it. Not that night, not when he felt it just right, like everything was in his favor for once and he could take a cautious step forward without falling.

Soft fingertips kept stroking skin and eyes were staring into pools of emotions that yet had to be translated into something more than tensed breathing and blushing cheeks. The wolf’s heart was beating on his skin and the mood had a reassuring light in it, one the boy decided to grow.

“Derek…”

The wolf was ready to listen to his reasons and go against them over and over, so with eyebrows raised, he waited for the other to speak. Stiles took every good odds in his favor and hoped the other felt something slightly equal, but he’d reach that destination by building up some stairs first. It’s not like he could just jump right into it anyway…

“I wouldn't stay with someone who's not kind.” Was the first step the boy made. It sounded meaningless to the wolf's ears, but little did he know what Stiles actually meant.

Derek was then with his chin on the boy’s chest, looking at the boy’s face and ready to argue just in the way he always did. “And how does it apply to me?” His voice was flat and lost. The other knew he'd have to pull his best cards to make the wolf believe him.

“You're a good and kind person, Derek” but the words fell as if they weighed nothing and the alpha was back to questioning it. “What makes you say that?” Stiles took it as a personal goal to put some sense in a mule's mind as it also gave him ground for the next step.

“Derek, do you not remember how many times you saved us?” His face wasn’t so close to the other anymore so that the wolf could see how he slightly scrunched his eyebrows in reasoning, but his listener was expressionless. He was worried he might've taken the wrong path, but he had to try. Try to make Derek see.

Both hands were still on his cheeks, feeling the warm skin beneath and the scratchy beard itching his palms. Derek was silent and still, a wall of bricks Stiles had to pass through. He tried to narrow the aim, getting to something more meaningful to the alpha to breach through him.

“How many times you saved me?” His eyes were deeply offended in advance, eyebrows fully scrunched, ‘don't you dare act as you don't remember’ was the kindest warning Stiles could master. It made the cut through Derek's hard skin and his journey got a little closer to its goal.

“Do you really think that I would stay around you, stay like this with you, if you were a bad guy as you try to make others believe?”

A speechless wolf stared at him. His eyes were empty of will to debate as he watched the other gesticulate even more the ‘stay like this’ part by pointing at their tangled bodies and leaving one of his cheeks. He wasn’t going to admit the way his heart jolted at the loss of his touch.

His fingers never stopped caressing the boy’s scars or back, always making reassuring shapes of every kind even when his heart skipped a beat. Or when his mind was already lost in defeat.

‘I can’t win against you even if I try my hardest…’ Still softly confessed the wolf in his mind, keeping the words to himself, trying to let it all go as if Stiles would back down so easily when he had a goal in mind, a destination to reach. And little did Derek know since Stiles didn’t finish with his speech. Or better to say, questions.

“So, are you meaning to tell me I’m wrong about you, that I should leave right now?” His eyes were secure, he knew what he was doing. Putting Derek’s comfort company on the stake, threatening to take it away even just as a joke, was cruel, and Stiles knew, but it got in the alpha’s stubborn head.

“That’s a low blow even for you, Stiles” argued Derek weakly as he knew he was being overpowered on every front and his head fell back on the boy’s chest. He buried his face just below his neck, where his collarbone split in the middle, hiding his eyes from the other’s gaze.

“So I’m right. You just admitted it.” The boy’s remark on his victory just ended their conversion, giving them a nice break to get back to being just there. It was another step to reach his goal, but he wasn’t going to pull up a marathon when his wolf was about to fall asleep on his chest, in his arms.

He reassured the wolf he was never going to leave by making continuous patterns and shapes on his back with one hand and stroking his cheek with the other. The fingers on his back were keeping him there, firmly as Derek was not going to say anything else. They were going to just be there, they needed some time to rest.

No need to talk, no need to be, just there to be each other’s company in their conjoined silence.

Their emotions were all over the place and Derek could tell by their mixed scents in the loft. It evoked a type of joy he didn’t want to allow himself to have, but he couldn’t do that with the boy beneath him.

Stiles’ smile was a highway on his puffy face, all rosy and silly in that moment as Derek was hiding in his chest, unable to not share the other’s happiness. That simple feeling filled his nostrils and the loft felt less empty, less angry. Stiles did bring out the best in him, there was no denying that.

But the night went on, around 1:15 AM Derek noticed the clock and pondered: couch or bed? And only one option was acceptable.

Emerging back from a quiet nap he didn’t remember starting, he stared at the other who was almost completely asleep as well. Stiles’ eyes fell close without him noticing it and it made him run a little late, ending up postponing his journey, but he’d get there eventually…

“Stiles…” He looked at the wolf on his chest, Derek hadn't stopped caressing his scarred skin since the moment he started and Stiles was holding the wolf’s body more firmly with arms and legs wrapped around him.

He didn’t really want to feel like Derek was slipping away from his hold even when they were glued together on the couch.

“Yeah?” He asked, finally responding to his name being called out.

“We should go to sleep… It’s fine if we sleep in my bed?”

He asked it like it wasn’t what they did for the last month or so whenever Stiles spent the night at the loft, but the other understood well. He read it in the wolf's eyes, the way they looked frightened and concerned when Derek looked up at him from where he was on his chest, how his hands never left his hip or stomach and kept up with the soothing motions.

His words from a few days prior had left images in Derek’s mind and Stiles was going to take care of it.

‘The story I told you put some bugs in your mind, mh? Well, let me blow them away,’ he thought and it was exactly what he did. His smile reassured the wolf, then his eyes had something akin to care in them, which the other noticed in a heartbeat. They always noticed everything about each other.

“Yeah, totally. It’s our usual after all… And the couch is getting stiff under my ass.” It wasn’t enough to clear the wolf’s mind and he could tell by how his eyes still had a shadow of worry in them, so he added another bit. “I don’t want either of us to be alone tonight, don’t ask me why” and the wolf didn’t.

It took only that much to get the job done, to get the alpha's mind free from any trace of concern even if the second part was just a little mask because they both knew the reason.

Reason that Stiles shared just because he could. “Okay I’ll tell you, I’m cold at night and you are a furnace.”

They cracked a laugh which made Derek smile and for Stiles that was more than enough. The boy watched as the other was beginning to move away, to start their journey for their new destination. He couldn’t believe what he was going to do once he got to his own secret one.

Derek stood up, pulling himself away from Stiles like a fallen blanket. He waited for the other to do the same, but he found a different scenario.

Eyes on the boy waiting for him to move, not a single limb was even beginning to do anything. Stiles was just laying there, clearly missing a piece since Derek’s figure left a void in his figure as the boy kept his legs apart and arms sloppy by his sides. But then his eyes sparkled with something and his words vocalized it.

“Pick me up.” Stiles was making grabby hands at him.

Green eyes grew wider in shock and amusement, “are you being serious right now?” Stiles shook his head, throwing more grabby hands was his best attack strategy to get what he wanted. Especially when he mixed it with a pleading look and a small smile that made the wolf crumble.

Derek accepted his fate, which he didn’t mind that much since they had been close for a while, and he lifted Stiles up like a parent would his child who was sleeping where he shouldn’t. Arms below knees and around a thin torso, the boy also did his part and clung around the alpha’s neck.

Stiles hid his face just below the juncture of the alpha’s neck and ear, leaving out a soft whisper from his warm lips behind Derek's earshell. “I’d carry you myself but we both know I don’t have the strength to do that right now” and the wolf let out a small laugh followed by eyes staring at Stiles, who was all happy to be carried around.

‘You’re such a thing…’ But the thought went away as the wolf had to walk.

The alpha's eyes got back to see where he was walking, finally moving away from the couch and going for the stairs, but Stiles called them back to himself a second later. Another thin whisper warmed Derek’s ear as the boy breathed it out in a strangled exhale or air.

“And I’m sure you’d like me carrying you.”

His words got the wolf to feel something new. Something he didn’t know he could still feel after so long, but it wasn’t the time to think about the small shiver that ran down his spine.

They went upstairs and into the wolf’s bedroom. He put Stiles down on the bed and as he went on his side of the mattress, the other was already under the covers. He could hear all of the boy’s movements, legs and arms relaxed as he waited for him to join in.

When Derek was finally under the sheets too, Stiles moved closer to him, feeling cold and in need of stealing some of the wolf’s warmth. They laid head to head, the boy savoring the feeling of his hot body heat and the wolf giving it away for free.

But before sleep was allowed to enter their mind, Stiles spoke again and Derek looked at him with an expression that said ‘what now?’

“Your eyes are beautiful, you are the kindest person I know and…” He trailed off, waiting for Derek's attention to be fully on him. Green eyes waited to hear the rest, not really thinking about where the conversation might go. But Stiles’ last words shocked him a little.

“I wouldn’t kiss someone who’s not kind.”

The wolf was speechless but recovered quickly. “What do you mean?” He said seconds later, words mixed with confusion as sleep was already conquering his mind.

Stiles moved closer to him, cupping Derek’s face with both his hands, fingers caressing his skin just like when they were on the couch. Derek didn’t move as he smelled where the boy’s actions were leading to, but he couldn’t be so sure without any proof.

And the proof arrived soon after…

Stiles placed a chaste kiss on Derek’s lips.

They both closed their eyes in unison, Stiles with his hands gentle on the other's face and Derek with only one of his clinging to the boy’s shirt to steady himself. That small kiss was heavy but glady on both their hearts, it was theirs in a way nothing else could ever be.

It seemed to be carrying the promise of renewing their silent oath into something more, and Stiles' lips were solid like it was the easiest thing he ever did. Like nothing and no one else could ever do anything to stop him.

“I think you know what I mean now,” he confessed in a small voice, shy but confident as he opened his eyes. He could only see Derek’s eyes flicking a pale red but he wasn’t afraid of it. He knew what it meant.

Derek regained control over his wolf and looked at Stiles, who with each passing second was starting to question his actions, worried he might’ve made the wrong call. The alpha couldn't let him believe he made a mistake.

One of Stiles' hands was already withdrawing from the wolf’s face, falling slowly between them on the mattress. Eyes were locked in place and no words could be heard, only Derek’s mind emitted a powering-up sound, but the boy was too human to hear that.

Therefore, Stiles couldn’t imagine what was going to happen.

Lips went crashing on his own lips, gently while the wolf was shaking as he wondered about a hundred things at the time and a hesitant hand found harbor on his rosy cheek. The boy just felt relief wash over him.

Derek felt one hand was beginning to caress his temple while the one on the mattress was slowly making its way to his hip; both were soft on his body as the boy kissed him back just the same.

Eyes closed and opened as the kiss broke apart, both of them didn't want to miss a single instant of what was happening, everything was going to be remembered and treasured.

Derek had wide and fulfilled eyes, completely drowning in the moment and kept afloat only by the boy’s hands on him, anchoring him.

Stiles had feverish eyes, lost in the happiness he felt after kissing the man he…

“I love you.”

Derek’s eyes got wider, fingers moving more confidently on the boy’s face and his thumb passed along Stiles’ lips as his hand cupped one of his cheeks. He didn’t know what he was doing, his mind emptying and his heart pounding were enough to give him the courage he needed.

“I… I love you too, Stiles… I do” and despite it taking him a mixture of bravery and very much will to speak to say it, he managed to and Stiles couldn’t be more glad for it.

The alpha could start naming his feelings, finally understanding what they were about, what was the reason behind everything coming so normal for them. How Derek wanted to take care of Stiles and vice versa.

They ended up sharing just a few more kisses, tender and soft as neither of them felt the need to run anyway. Hugging, they were falling asleep. But Stiles wanted to score one more point.

“And just so you know, those little scars make you look prettier.”

“Shut up.” Derek took the matter in his hands, muffling Stiles’ words with another kiss before they both fell asleep.

There weren't simply friends anymore.

Chapter Text

Night went on above their heads while they slept, a silent plea even fell from the stars and no one heard it murmuring its soft wishes. Crows were chiming their songs in the depths of the dark as a breeze pushed their sounds far away, leaving them to be for another time.

The moon shone on Derek and Stiles’ intertwined bodies under the sheets, limbs melted into one big knot they made while falling asleep, not even feeling how or when it had happened. It was going to be hard to untangle from one another, but maybe they weren’t even going to mind it that much in the morning.

Stiles woke up first, the singing birds disrupting his sleep in the early hours and welcoming him into the new day. He laid motionless on his side, body heavy with sleep, keeping his vision blinded with his eyelids and waiting for more signs of consciousness to wake up. The soft skin of his hands even rubbed his eyes trying to shake away some moondust, but his vision got overwhelmed with the scene in front of him.

Rays of sun broke through the curtains behind his back, making a dim glow and portraying lines on Derek’s sleeping face. Stiles observed every little one of those stripes like it was his mission to remember all the details, as if he was an artist trying to imprint the sunrise on a canvas.

He still had one hand on the wolf’s hip, slightly feeling his body moving in rhythm with the way he was calmly breathing beneath his touch. His other hand was resting between them, abandoned on the mattress as it had fallen there throughout the night, but he couldn’t restrain himself from what came after.

Sheepishly fingers brushed on the wolf’s skin, bathed in sunlight and warmed by the pale light. Stiles wondered about everything and nothing while he mapped Derek’s face, who showed no signs of waking up, with tender fingertips and exploring eyes. He surely didn’t mind since he could admire him as long as he wanted and breakfast wasn’t an urgent matter for anyone.

His face was a painter’s dream, just as Stiles was in that moment, with all the little details he could see and turn into art.

Thick eyebrows, thin eyelids and the velvety skin of his temples was warm and smooth under his touch, with just a thin veil of facial hair that made the feeling more addicting under his fingers. No scar other than the signs of tears, just plain and candid flesh occupied his view and he admired all the little details he could spot.

Like the small empty patches in his beard, neatly trimmed but still there, perpetually on his cheeks and slightly rough at the touch. His high cheekbones and pointy nose, both with an eternal gloomy cast that seem to lighten his face from the rotten darkness the wolf kept merging in his life.

It seemed like Derek wanted to be Goya, or even more so his paintings; trying to show that he could fit in, following the flow with precise strokes and diligent works for great deeds. But deep down, there would be a darkness that was shallowing his very being, with horrifying sights and unsettling hopes.

Stiles wasn’t going to let him drown…

Or the way the corners of his lips seemed to be stuck downward even while he slept and how the bottom lip had little dents for his canine teeth. How those lips of his were softly wet with saliva as the wolf kept running his tongue on them in his sleep, and Stiles even shily traced the outline of them and took his fingertip away a brief moment later. He felt like he was overstepping a fragile boundary and he didn’t want to cause the other any discomfort.

So, he let his eyes roam around his face and he kept his hand on the wolf’s cheek, tender and steady. He scanned the way his chin was constantly tucked down, hiding his neck for no apparent reason, but Stiles also noticed how he never really hid it much when he was the only one around.

‘To beg and plead’ it all seemed to resemble. Some old romantic paintings could fit that description eagerly, with the way the wolf seemed to be led by emotions alone whenever they were alone, and Stiles was going to caress his neck till it stood high and proud. The way it was meant to from the start.

But his eyes didn’t stick there for much time; they went down the sharp line of his jawline, how he could almost see the bones beneath the wolf’s skin and he wondered how many times his jaw got broken and then healed back together. How many whining sounds echoed in the loft, while birds sang astonishing odes for his recovery?

Curious irises when further down and from where his jaw met his ear, he went down his neck. Because of the way he was laying down on the pillow, one side of his neck was completely exposed and the tendons there were flexed, rigid as a shaky finger went on them to see if he was relaxed or anxious. He hoped he could tell by touch alone.

As he let his finger hover above the alpha’s neck, a warm presence hit his skin and he didn’t need to touch him to know he was enjoying his sleep and the sweet company Stiles was providing him since his body gave him all the answers. His chest decompressed beneath the sheets, slightly moving towards the boy and almost posing for him.

‘Look as much as you want.’

That was the message Stiles thought he read in his sleeping figure, in the way he seemingly exposed his neck to him, chin up and eyes still blissfully closed. So he looked, stared, and admired the way his body was laying next to his own, giving Stiles all he could ever ask for to see.

Derek was a statue carved out of the finest and almost the palest wood an artist could get his hands on, with how firm and hard his muscles were, flexed even while relaxed. The dim and lazy glow of the sun nourished him as he slept, while soft fingertips slid over his glassy skin.

Body pliant and docile under his touch, Stiles was never going to have enough of the way he was being so nestled beneath his caresses. It amazed him how warm his cheek felt under his palm and how his hip was the highest point of a dune in the desert that was his skin.

And that was when it hit him. While staring at him with caring eyes, he took into account how his body was yielding underneath his hand on his hip. He didn’t need to move it, he didn’t want to; there was no need to go too far and disturb Derek’s sleep.

For a split second, he remembered how he once used to look away from his sleeping figure, not daring to take too much of it for himself, ‘just a little… After all, it's not something I'd see every other day!’ He used to think as he kept on stealing glances of the other, a few seconds each time.

But in that instant, that wasn’t the case anymore. At least, he hoped so for the time being.

After he was finally done scanning the other’s figure, hoping to have way more time to see him, Stiles focused his attention on his own body and how tangled he was with the alpha. He immediately noticed how his legs had somehow ended up sprawled on Derek’s body, with their arms conjoined in some weird expression on closure the younger one couldn’t explain.

‘How come my arms and legs don’t hurt? You’re literally over my forearms and my hips aren’t even touching the mattress!’

As minutes passed, fingers still tracing shapes and memorizing patterns as there was no need to stop his soothing motions, Derek slowly woke up underneath his attentive care. His eyes were still closed as he stretched his arms and legs just to find them tied to Stiles’. He didn’t mind a single bit and tried to get his eyes to open, but it didn't work.

Just like the boy had done a few moments earlier, the wolf rubbed his eyes and finally looked at Stiles with half closed eyelids, always letting him continue with his painter’s dream fever and enjoying the feeling of his sedative fingers on his rough skin and firm hip.

He didn’t say anything at first, just let their eyes exchange the words that were too heavy to be spoken, until he finally found his voice back. “Good morning to you too” were the first words the wolf heard as he didn’t say anything in his awakening. “Good morning Stiles…” Derek then promptly replied, admiring the boy back.

What he said afterwards made the boy wonder who the wolf actually was beneath all the tough and menacing persona he desperately tried to sell to everyone. Because earring him joking around really made Stiles question who was beneath everything Derek seemed from the outside.

“Aren’t you going to make breakfast?” Stiles was mildly offended, but it was just a facade he was willing to act to let the beeping question in his mind go unsaid for a little while more. He didn’t want to ruin their first morning together given what happened the night before.

“Oh, so now I’m your maid? Cooking and cleaning while you sleep?” Stiles flipped to be on his stomach and shot up to his elbows, supporting himself to look down on the other with a playful grin. Derek just stared at him, a small smile making its way on his lips, looking at the other in awe.

But if the boy’s mouth said one thing, his mind thought something entirely different: ‘who are you really?’ And he couldn't really put the question aside

However, they both laughed at their words along with Stiles’ offended manner and it sounded just like the sparrow’s song that was being chanted outside the loft. After all, the wake-up morning call arrived not only to them, but to a variety of creatures that were surrounding them, whether they were aware of them or not.

Then, Stiles fell back on the bed, both their heads on their pillows and with silly smiles on their faces. It was strange to be happy after everything they’d been through.

That’s when the boy started to notice something different, some strange feeling in his chest that pushed for him to get closer to the other, and so he did. He didn’t question what it was, he didn’t wait to act on it, he just did because he knew, deeply within himself, it was the right thing to do.

So, Stiles slowly tried to follow the feeling, careful about the alpha’s comfort and moved to get the other closer to himself. When Derek noticed, he seemed to instinctively pull the boy impossibly closer to himself in response, as if acting in response to the feeling he could smell in the other’s scent.

The wolf went to his favorite hiding spot in the boy’s chest and Stiles wrapped his arms around his back.

It felt right and the boy couldn't explain why. It was different from what he had felt for a long time for Lydia, but it wasn’t too far from it as well…

He stared in Derek’s half closed eyes with his puppy-like ones, looking down on his own skinny chest; the alpha was still half asleep and thought he might still be dreaming since his boy was looking at him with a stare that spoke volumes of feelings he didn’t quite know how to handle, yet. On the other hand, Stiles’ mind was already filled with thoughts just because he was looking at his muse so openly for the first time.

His heart balanced the options, weighting them accordingly, contemplating whether he should ask it at that moment or later in the day. He opted to go with the quickest way to get it over with, the wolf looked at peace and calm and Stiles wanted to take it as a sign that the alpha in his chest wasn’t going to shy away.

“Derek” and he looked at Stiles, eyes giving him full attention as his head tilted up further more from his chest. The small silence between them made Derek move a bit more, getting his nose to reach the other’s chin but not touching him, then he spoke in his favorite way: with eyebrows going ‘yeah?’

Stiles didn’t put the beeping to sleep, he just asked something else first. Why? He thought it was better that way.

“Do you regret it?”

Black swallowed the green in the wolf’s eyes. “What?” Was the perfect expression to show his shock and disbelief. He didn’t expect anything to happen so early in the morning, his eyes were still cloudy with sleep after all. He thought he had time before his boy started with the questions.

“I… The kiss.”

It was simple enough and Derek looked even more bewildered. Stiles, on the other hand, was starting to shy away even if he thought the wolf was the one that was going to do that. He knew his reaction was given by the unbearable thought of having done the wrong thing, especially to Derek.

And the wolf made it his mission to comfort him, while his mind spawned a single thought he had to push away. ‘You were so dominant every other time, like when you ran to get me; I wonder if you really are…’

But the thought was being stored away, far away in his mind for another time, as soon as he felt Stiles withdrawing his arms from his back, taking his fingers away from his shoulders. He said the first thing that came out, the only thing that seemed to fit in the messy bunch of words he couldn't untangle any better.

“Stiles, I don’t regret anything. Do you think you made a mistake?” On that particular morning, Stiles was the one who needed a little reassurance, at which Derek gently obliged as he saw in it a small opportunity to show his boy how much he cared for him as well.

The best way to do so was to get a good look at him.

The wolf got back on his pillow, crawling his way back up to be face to face with the boy. His shy hands were still around his back, the wolf could feel them hesitant to stay. Green eyes were solemnly staring into his amber ones, like he’d rather be blind than never see Stiles again.

The boy’s hands retracted then, timid as he couldn't really hold such a gaze from the other; it was so intense that he lost confidence while staring in those pale eyes of his. And when Derek took his soft hands in his a moment later, it seemed almost out of character for him to be somewhat lovely, but neither of them really mentioned that, neither of them knew how their love was going to turn out.

Even when they still didn’t mention anything about it…

They both knew Derek had more to show than to hide, while Stiles had hundreds of aspects of himself to share once he was confident in his new environment’s setting. But it wasn’t time to think about that. The future could wait for them a little longer.

It was slow and steady, how Derek guided Stiles’ hands closer to his face. For a split second, the boy thought about bloody injuries and paper cuts, shaky fingers and doubtful eyes. It was how he remembered the wolf the most. But it was wiped away quickly as he understood that that vision was going to change.

Lips landed on skinny knuckles with skin patterned with moles and little scars from past handy works. Derek did everything he could to comfort the boy, trying his best as he remembered every other time Stiles had done the same for him. It was a way of saying ‘I got you’ without saying a word.

He knew the boy would understand his silent actions, or perhaps even the pattern of his heart as he beat in unison with his own, knocking on his chest and saying ‘let me have a see’ in the sweetest way possible.

But he knew Stiles had some knowledge about his past, maybe something minor about her and more about the fire, and maybe all of it could indicate to the boy how to translate his quiet doings. The wolf knew people whispered in the woods about him, chanting the Werewolf’s fallen glory with a cacophony of broken howls.

So, maybe he knew about her.

Maybe…

But somehow Derek managed to push his past away, to be back to show and convince Stiles that their kiss wasn’t the case and he did so with firm words, the few he managed to extrapolate out of his throat. “You didn’t make any mistake, I can assure you.” He kissed his hands again. He was never going to get tired of doing it. “I’m firm on this, are you?” And the boy’s eyes widened with fierceness.

“I’m pretty sure I’m firm on this.” Stiles whispered, getting closer to the other until their foreheads touched, with a big grin on his lips to show how ‘pretty sure’ actually meant a lot more while his eyes softened to show how deep his feelings went.

Derek just added something more for good measure, to ensure the boy’s mood would be solid just like his words. His scent had been tinted with hesitant thought and shaky heartbeats up until that moment, it made the wolf’s heart ache a little while he stroked his soft skin with his thumbs.

“I would never regret kissing you, Stiles.” The boy saw a hundred words of truth in his eyes as he stared into the wolf’s irises. Stiles was glad for those words more than he had expected to.

Then came the hit.

“I would never lose the opportunity to have you make breakfast, lunch, and even dinner for me. Do you think I’m dumb?”

‘Ahh, there you are being back at it, uh?’ But he still had one of those big smiles of his on his lips, stretching from one side of his face to the other. It soon turned into something more as he imagined going around the loft in an apron and the hold on his hands got slightly tighter.

Stiles cracked up hysterically, bouncing on and off his pillow with every laugh, while Derek’s smile was bright and genuine and his eyes were filled with adoration. The other couldn’t ask for a more gorgeous sight to behold. He was already in love but that made Stiles fall a little bit more, then something else came to the wolf’s ears.

Apparently he wasn’t done yet and breakfast had to wait a bit more since the boy settled back on his pillow, the laughs fading away slowly as he regained some seriousness and felt soft caresses being bacon in the palm of his hands.

“Do you regret it, though?” Amber eyes were pleading to receive another answer, just something more. To be sure.

Derek ended up being speechless at Stiles’ stubbornness, even if he knew its real name was care. But the recovery was quick and so were the words he spoke.

“Not even for a split second, Stiles, I really don’t.”

Stiles looked at him and Derek could see how he was accepting his words through his big eyes, so when the wolf could tell the boy had no doubt about the kiss anymore, he added something more. Just because he wanted to hear him laugh again, he loved that sweet sound more than anything.

“Who would wake me up in the morning?”

When he saw the soft grin Stiles made, Derek slowly made his way back into the other’s chest, leaving his hands to wrap his own around the boy’s torso and being trapped back in response, all the while always looking up to him with soft and magnetizing eyes.

Eyes that Stiles swore to make his, whenever that might be.

Those irises were pools made out of the deep ocean’s aquamarine that the boy had admired from afar for a long time. That stare seemed to go infinite lengths and unimaginable depths, giving the boy a window from where he could see the wolf’s true self. But it was unfair to look without permission.

He averted his eyes for a brief moment, expecting to see that window being closed shut when he got back, but that wasn’t the case. Derek’s look showed a little hint of openness that didn’t quite go away and Stiles shoved gently into it, holding the other in his arms like he was born to fit in there.

He even had a feverish thought that the other might be calm and docile when with someone he cared for, which seemed to be the case since he could still fit in that little room that was Derek’s eyes.

Stiles really liked how easy it was, to just get a glance in the alpha’s eyes to know him and call it a day, but he wanted to be invited in. He wanted to be chosen as someone who’d get to know who the ‘big bad wolf’ for who he really was by his own accord.

But that would come with its time; Stiles surely hoped so while they cuddled for what felt like hours but just after a few minutes of snuggling, the wolf spoke again with concern, which brought the other out of his mind.

“So, what about breakfast?” Eyes wide in question were shot up to the boy.

Stiles couldn't believe his ears, Derek making jokes was something he still had to get used to. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t respond.

“Shut up.”

He planted a kiss on his lips, pulling his chin up from his chest with soft fingers.

Derek reciprocated immediately, the calmness and fondness of the moment gave him the security Stiles wasn’t running a marathon and he simply wanted an honest, chaste kiss. Then the sun came in between them.

It illuminated the wolf’s eyes and Stiles had the reflection of Derek’s love into his own irises, and he held it there with care, staring at those gorgeous eyes he knew were hiding secrets he’d soon hear a lot about. Hopefully.

But he’d wait to hear them, they were going to have a lot of time to unfold many parts of themselves. Time to fit into each other’s life with something more in mind than just being friends.

So, he carried the glow of his eyes as his own. The sun was high and Derek kept hiding in Stiles’ chest to evade its rays, he didn’t really feel like going blind that morning.

Morning that ended up kicking them out of the bed and into the kitchen, especially since Stiles went downstairs after battling a stubborn wolf to let him go…

“Come on, it’s almost 10. We should get up and get some breakfast before it’s time for lunch!” His little battle with the werewolf was just at the beginning.

Derek kept holding Stiles’ torso, chaining his body there with him, either as a shield to protect himself from the sun or just feeling the comfort of his dear companion. After all, the strange feeling in his chest that was making its way out wasn’t as bad if Stiles was very close to his side.

So, debating on breakfast and Stiles’ company in his mind, the wolf didn’t mind sacrificing one for the other. But the boy was probably starting to get hungry since he couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Derek, come on.” But the wolf was immovable, holding him on the bed with a strength the boy could never fight back. “Just five more minutes, Stiles…” He argued softly as he held the boy tighter.

‘What a little menace you are…’ But Stiles liked him being stubborn regardless.

Because he didn’t really feel like pushing the wolf away, which only meant one thing. To go and eat something, he’d have to win by paying the price.

“Fine! Fine, I’ll make you breakfast, now let me go make it, deal?” Stiles was already on his elbows, lifting his back off the mattress and pushing to make his way downstairs while the other pondered it. In the offer, the wolf saw a win-win situation and Derek reluctantly decided to let Stiles go.

He also couldn’t help but take a look at what happened when he did.

Raised only on his elbows just like the boy was, his eyes scanned the other’s thin frame sliding out the covers, sheets falling to the ground and messy hair being combed in place with sleepy fingers.

Pale, bare skin from feet to hips, just like arms and neck. Derek never stared at anyone or anything the way he did when Stiles stretched his limbs and his shirt rested softly around his waist, making shadows on his lower back and shoulder blades.

Crossed arms behind his neck, elbows high and hands softly caressing his own nape in soothing motions to brush away the groggy feeling of aching muscles. Flexing his thighs to get sleep out of his joints before moving.

The wolf could tell Stiles was either putting on a big show for him, or he wasn’t aware of how mesmerizing his body was under the dim glow of the sun’s flares.

And by his scent alone, Derek could tell Stiles wasn’t much aware of his beauty.

He looked ethereal, with the warm light of the morning sun casting a sweet tone of yellow on his side, highlighting the curves of his body as he tucked the shirt back in place, letting it fall some down his body.

The sweetest scene came in full view when he looked out the window, giving Derek a full picture of his side profile.

Messy hair and long, tense neck, both immersed in deep contrasts of lights and shadows. The shirt covering his body seemed to give out the impression of hiding something no eye could ever handle, something too pretty to be given away so freely. The veils of Raffaele Monti’s Mary would be nothing compared to that old t-shirt.

Nose and chin were pointy bones, softly rounded by his flesh; all Canova’s statues envied his features. The pale skin he had was the dream of all the best sculptors that had ever lived, perfect in all the way an artist would need it to be. Smooth, soft and tangible. ‘Oh, a statue could never,’ Derek could hear them say in their graves.

Sharp jawline and rosy ears, he yawned without a care in the world and the birds chimed a song for him, ‘wake up, wake up, you, who belong to us singers’. His voice was low and guttural when he stretched his back and grunted, but it was still the most melodic sound to the wolf’s ears. ‘Sing with us,’ Derek thought the nightingales said out the windows.

Lips reflecting the sun on the saliva he used to wet them; the deepest shade of red a painter would ever need and fight to have. It was a sight to imprint on a canvas, with every master of the arts trying to get the exact way the light made him look too far to reach. ‘Muse, I could never do you justice,’ Derek swore he could hear Caravaggio saying with hands pulling at his hair.

Eyes deep of a shade of color he couldn’t quite name; dirty gold? Amber? Honey mixed with chocolate? Copper? Derek couldn’t really tell. But it meant nothing, a name wasn’t enough to summarize the enchantment that was the look the boy had printed in his irises.

And Stiles could feel his stare, not really minding staying still for him as he knew Derek wasn’t looking at him with any lust in his eyes. He knew his wolf well enough to know that little bit of information.

He kept looking out of the window like he was watching something more breathtaking than his own figure through Derek’s eyes. But it was impossible.

The alpha was well aware nothing could ever compare to how gorgeous his boy looked in that moment. Nothing. And nothing could ever make him move.

His elbows were restless as he used them as leverage to lift his torso off the mattress; eyelids never closing to not miss a single frame of Stiles’ life. Oh, he sure was lost in his boy and he feared where it might lead, but for that random day, it was good enough as it was.

‘What a beautiful morning…’ Derek could hear himself thinking. In that little thought, hundreds of painters, sculptors and artists chanted their frustration.

‘Oh, if only I lived to see you, you'd be art.’ That’s what they said through Derek’s eyes.

Stiles was a mixture of impressionism paintings, with the patchy sun’s work sprawled on his figure in soft brushes of light, and some stolen lover boy’s Polaroids, with the way his figure occupied Derek’s field of view, marking it as his own and claiming the wolf’s mind to think only about his slim figure, how mesmerizing he was.

Still with his stolen shirt and his not-stolen boxers, the boy ended up bewitching the wolf as he opened the door of the bedroom and smirked at Derek, breaking down the illusion of witnessing the beginning of a new artistic movement.

A calm and joyful morning, such as the boy knew it to be, was simply amazing to experience and he wanted to share his excitement with the other, whose eyes were glued to his every movement. From his arms falling back by his sides to his thighs relaxing as he stood still, sharing the other’s gaze.

“Come and get your breakfast at least, would you? I ain’t bringing you breakfast in bed.” He said with a demonic grin and a kind light in his eyes, leaving the wolf on the bed, who comically sent his reply by falling back on it as a suffocated laugh left his lungs. That boy did cast some type of spell on him…

Stiles soon disappeared out the door and went down the stairs, going to prepare no one knew what. It was going to be a surprise anyway, so Derek’s focus was back to something else once he couldn't catch a glimpse of Stiles’ body anymore.

Rolling to end on his stomach, head back on his pillow looking at Stiles’ empty side of the bed, the wolf thought about the loft, how the boy’s thin and solid frame fit so well in it. How, despite it being his house, it was becoming his actual home. Stiles made it more lively, lovely almost.

Stiles was turning it into a place he could belong to.

Then, one hand went where Stiles was just a few moments earlier, his side of the bed still warm and cozy but not everything left behind was meant to stay the same.

After a few minutes, the bed turned cold with nobody to keep it warm and Derek finally decided to move out of it too, finally going to meet Stiles downstairs. He could tell something was almost ready, he could hear it.

He got out of bed, putting the sheets messily back where they were supposed to be. He slipped through the door just like Stiles did and took the stairs, trying to not make a sound.

He wanted to sneak a scene for his mind, just because he could and couldn’t get enough of his boy. ‘Are you already passing your curiosity to me?’ He couldn't help but think as he was about to finally see him again in the kitchen.

The anticipation made his mind drift for a second to wonder about the human between the walls of his loft. He was probably going to do that a lot from there on. He couldn’t wait to see Stiles every morning he could; he was going to make it work.

‘You made the day brighter… and just the other day it all felt so pointless, but you flipped it like this’ and his thoughts came to a stop when he saw him in his kitchen, cooking for them both and probably for the first time, there were no bad circumstances for it. Just a ‘normal morning’ or what could end up being it in the future.

“How's breakfast coming along?” Derek said as he silently took a seat around the kitchen island and watched Stiles’ back moving around to prepare their food. But his little show had a little lifespan.

Stiles crossed his arms as he turned to look at the wolf, one leg nervously tapping on the floor. His thin frame seemed to lose even more volume as he took in a deep breath, then let it out. ‘What are you about to throw at me?’ He had a waiting smile, the early sun surely had its trick on him. But it wasn't strong enough to withstand the next question.

“What are we?”

It threw Derek off guard to the point that he felt his heart skip a bit in front of a ‘yet to make’ breakfast. But the wolf surely made a quick work to get back on his feet, or the boy would probably add something more to the table.

And at that moment, Derek could only deal with one thing at the time. So he thought about it, even if the answer could be only one.

Eyes flicking and mind wondering about what he could only describe as…

“Well, if you accept, we can be a couple.” But Stiles didn’t answer back immediately. He didn’t say anything at all.

The only sound in the room was his tapping foot and his beating heart. Derek heard both all too well.

He got a strangling feeling in his stomach while the other’s scent got more vulnerable, almost diluted in worry. His eyes were low to the ground, the wolf wondered if Stiles just wanted one thing from him.

‘You prefer to have me say it… You don’t want to put pressure on it…’ It wasn’t so hard to figure out, he had to admit.

Because despite the boy had never said anything about it, Derek knew he was there the night of the fire, in the police station, sitting on the other side of the wall. His silent, comforting presence had been there all along, ever since that night when he ended up alone.

He also knew about his perky ears and people’s mouths.

‘You want to hear it like I mean it, you want me to be sure…’

So, he sat with his back straight, his hands together in front of him and a serious look in his eyes. Stiles had his full attention on him the second he noticed the change in his posture.

“Stiles, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

The boy teared up a bit. He probably had been worried about it since he was maneuvering around the kitchen and in his scent, the wolf could read he was right, that there had been someone before him who played tricks on Stiles' heart.

Derek stood up and went to him, offering him a hug which Stiles gladly accepted. The alpha never thought he’d be the one to ask it, he never even thought he’d ever ask that question ever again, but sometimes to get something you have to do something else first.

Sometimes it’s up to someone who didn’t even think about it.

He could hear the boy sniffing and wiping away the few tears falling from his eyes with his hands. He wasn’t crying, he was just being emotional for the greatest news of the century.

“Yeah, yeah I wanna be your boyfriend, you sourwolf. I’ll annoy you forever, you ain’t getting rid of me, oh you are so screwed now, I’m not letting you go. You’ll cry if I ever leave” and Derek held him closer to his chest. He wasn’t wrong about the last part, or the whole deal itself.

It made him laugh a little on his own, and so Derek had to cover his smile while Stiles was gaining back his composure.

But “you aren’t that believable about me crying since you’re the one who’s crying now,” came out the wolf’s lips and Stiles looked at him with an offended pout. He had to push down another small laugh at that.

“Don’t cry, Stiles. It’s alright” he ended up saying while caressing his head with one hand and Stiles rested his face in the crock of the wolf’s neck. He even muffled some words there when the wolf took hold of one of his hands with his free one, sharing with the wolf what the boy was being anxious about.

“Sorry… I just thought you might’ve not… wanted to be in a relationship,” his voice was strained but his scent was calmer to breathe in. He had a little idea to make the mood lighter.

“Come on, let’s make breakfast together” and he placed a gentle, reassuring kiss on Stiles’ head, an arm around his waist and a finger below his chin to lift it up. He kissed him on the lips too.

Stiles was smiling like a little kid who finally got the candy he wanted at the store.

He then clung to his side, as if they were joined at the hip and breakfast ended up being made a few minutes later. They sat and ate together, stolen looks celebrating their new relationship.

Once their meal was over, plates were set in the sink; they went to the couch, melting on it and contemplating what to do.

The boy was aware there were many things they would have to work on since he knew about Derek’s past, or at least a bit of it since he never heard from the wolf but from rumors.

Rumors which consisted in Peter sharing some stories with him, the files in the police’s system at the station, the news on the papers. He had even been there himself as a kid, but he didn’t get much information back then.

He always wondered why a stunning man like Derek didn’t have a permanent partner…

On the other hand, Derek was starting to look within himself, to see if he could tell Stiles the things about himself he always kept as a secret. The real reason that led to where he was in that moment, as an alpha and without a family, with scars he didn’t have any tangible proof of, but that were there, as prominent as ever under the threat of the future.

He wondered if he could do all of that, if he could show everything to Stiles and if...

‘Would he believe me?’

That ended up being a question for another time. It was Stiles' turn to think.

He had Derek on top of him, his amber eyes glued to his back going up and down as he breathed, while the wolf listened to his heartbeat, feeling a wave of calmness wash over him. He was wondering about the other, he could tell by scent alone.

Then the boy spoke with a quick intake of air, voice curious and lovely as he asked the wolf a question, one Derek didn’t really know how to answer, one he never really thought of before.

“Who are you really, Derek?”

The alpha had eyes immediately on the boy, all his weight on his arms as he raised himself above Stiles, each hand by each of his sides. He was pondering an answer that could fit, that could describe him somehow, while the boy guided him back down.

Stiles knew a strong reaction was coming his way, but he wanted Derek to be calm regardless. He wanted the wolf to know it wasn’t some sort of interrogation from the police, he wasn’t going to be persecuted for anything he’d say.

But almost nothing came out of his mouth every time he tried to speak. Stiles’ beating heart was the only sound he could hear, his voice long gone in some corner of his throat as no words popped up in his mind.

He couldn't summarize everything in just a few lines of sentences, he didn’t even know what to say to begin with anyway. He didn’t know where or how to start but he wanted Stiles to know him for who he was and a promise was the only thing he could give him at that moment.

“I’m many things, Stiles, just as you are. I’ll tell you everything with time… I swear I will.”

In his eyes the boy could see loyalty being sworn to him. The old knight in shiny armor from the old tales was before him and he was the princess the guardian would protect. ‘Well, sort of anyway…’

He knew it was a silent oath the wolf valued a lot, he even had to deal with the other side of it: betrayal. But he still decided to be loyal to Stiles, knowing he would be to him. Always taking into account something could happen, but he trusted the boy to be his.

His promise wasn’t going to be shattered by anything for as long as they’d be together and Stiles knew it very well and for them, that morning, it was a good enough answer.

It was a good enough start.

And the boy wanted the other to know something he knew he needed to know.

“Then, I’ll do the same. I just hope you won’t hide from me…” Stiles’ words got him green eyes to look into his own, so he finished his little promise. “And if you feel like you should, please come to me and tell me…” Derek felt there was more to it and he wasn’t wrong.

“Tell me what makes you think I wouldn’t accept you for who you are and let me prove you wrong.”

The wolf didn’t know what to say, speaking had never been his thing. He had always been silenced and used, but with Stiles it was different and he knew. So, he gave it a shot.

“And let me promise the same” and that was it. For the upcoming future, they set their ground and the day went on, lunch passed and Stiles had a little idea for the evening…

The boy was cuddling with the other on the couch, his legs were stiff and his back wasn’t in the best shape. He was starting to hate that couch, but the TV gave him inspiration on how to solve the problem.

Well, more on how to make it a problem for another time.

“Why don’t we go for a walk?” His voice was thin and questioning, like he was asking his parents for pizza at the supermarket. They always said yes and he hoped Derek would too.

From where he was religiously melted on the other’s body, his head perked up and his voice was sort of raspy, like he was about to fall asleep thanks to Stiles’ presence alone.

He pondered the question, also how he didn’t remember the last time he went for a walk, and simply answered “why not.”

So, off they went to change their clothes and it didn’t even take them much time to switch for something more appropriate for a walk. Then it was time to decide where to go.

Stiles was debating between the Greenvale Park or the Preserve while Derek was silently fine with both. Which was why he looked shocked at the other while he was arguing with the wall about their destination.

The boy even started to pace around the couch where Derek was sitting, trying to come up with a choice. The wolf patiently waited for Stiles to pick whatever he liked the most, knowing it could come to him at any second.

“Fine, the Preserve!” He ended up shouting with a finger pointing at the ceiling and stopping in his tracks as if he had the idea of the century. Derek just nodded with an expression that could only be translated into ‘fake enthusiasm,’ but the boy knew.

He was barely able to see it, yet the small glimpse of light in the other’s eyes gave him away and Stiles added what he had in mind all along. “But we gotta drive there, or it would be useless to arrive there tired as hell.”

“Fine by me,” he said, not really wanting to let out the ‘taking the car out for a walk, that’s a first’ part his mind came up with. He knew Stiles would bash his head if he said that.

They ended up taking the Camaro and Derek drove to the Preserve. Parking the car somewhere, they started walking along the edge of the forest, where the trees ended to meet the grass and furthermore the road.

Side by side, Derek could tell Stiles had something in mind while he led the way. His scent was constellated by hints of curiosity and caution. He wanted to do something, which was soon discovered when the boy started talking.

“Can I?” He simply said, one hand in offering towards Derek, palm facing up. ‘My hand?’ The wolf thought, not really sure on what to do, but the forest was a lonely place, one where no one would dare to go wandering around in.

So he gave him his hand and Stiles smiled with some sort of pride, like he had planned everything step by step…

“Did you have this in mind all along?” Derek asked, holding the other’s hand and walking through the trees, it was a calm evening. The tray they took was a marginal one, lonely but interesting as the wolf seemingly knew it by heart.

Stiles looked at him with the corner of his eyes, then back to the trees in front of him, “maybe…”

Derek muffled a soft chuckle and a few words floated out, he wanted to do it right, and even though he didn’t know what ‘right’ actually was like, he thought that the first step would be telling Stiles about it.

“It’s only fair I tell you this,” he started without taking his eyes away from the path he had in mind. Stiles looked at him with concern, following his lead through the trees as he was then ahead of him. “You’re scaring me but go on,” he replied softly.

“It could go very slow and then jump up, I can’t really decide on it. But I’m with you.”

Stiles was shocked and disoriented, “what are you talking about?” He asked, pushing a few branches to the side. Derek just held up their conjoined hands, the boy looked at them with his best investigating eyes.

“Physical touch?” He quietly chimed and the wolf nodded, a worried expression on his face.

The boy guided their hands back down, a soft smile on his lips and he took the lead. “We’ll work through it, just like we did for everything else.” He said it like it meant nothing to the boy if he had to wait a year to hold him. It made the wolf feel safe in a way he didn’t know possible.

Derek ended up letting out a sigh of relief, Stiles wasn’t mad at him for it.

And so, they walked through the trees, pushing away obstacles and enjoying their time. When the sun was beginning to fade, it was time to go back to the car.

Derek followed in silence, the leaves crashing under their feet was the only sound around them. He didn’t notice how quickly they were back to the car and then the loft. ‘Maybe I lost track of time,’ he thought while eating Stiles’ dinner, ‘I definitely did.’

Dinner was done before anyone knew and they were back to their routine. Derek on top of Stiles, who pointedly thought, ‘good old couch, we are back to you.’

As the TV was mostly a background noise to not fall asleep, Stiles remembered something. Something that was still in their favor and he was looking forward to exploiting it as much as he could.

He picked up the wolf’s chin so they’d look into each other’s eyes. It was going to be his favorite thing to do, to manhandle Derek so easily and with his silent permission carried out by his tender sounds of approval.

The wolf on his chest almost always fell asleep listening to his heart, ‘must like the melody, uh?’ But he spoke about something else instead as he locked their eyes together.

“Since all the bad guys are kinda on a vacation, or plotting the conquest of the world, why don’t we take some time just to ourselves?”

The wolf’s eyes light up, sleep seemingly gone in a snap of fingers. He couldn’t agree more to such a suggestion. “Stay here as much as you want.”

The sentence settled what they were going with. A couch, a bed, a loft. A partner, a couple, a promise.

And little did they know what the future had for them, but they would have all the time to figure it out together.

So, just like teenage boys would do in movies, they ended up going to bed and cuddling, snuggling and stealing kisses while fingers brushed on the palm of someone’s hand like it was the only thing that made the world turn.

Since then, Stiles made his den in the wolf’s loft. Becoming a mandatory presence, necessary for Derek to call it home.

Chapter Text

Just a little over two months passed since Stiles and Derek got together. Two months of unveiling personalities and little, big steps.

They had obviously grown closer with the passage of time, with kisses becoming mandatory and comforting, while cuddling turned out to be the default setting for their time together.

Derek got more comfortable each time he was with his boyfriend, exploring what Stiles kept from everyone and reserved only for him. For example, how clingy and thoughtful the guy actually was and not in the same way he was with simple friends.

But Stiles’ gluey side never made Derek uncomfortable. On the other hand, he felt like he could let the boy wander on his skin with his delicate fingertips without thinking of a way out of the room. Not that the boy had ever made him feel like he should have had a planned exit, that was never their case.

He wasn’t going to let it become their case.

Which was why, when his boyfriend once trailed his gentle hand on his back, Derek just pushed onto the feeling, trying to get to feel Stiles’ touch more. When it happened, he froze for a second at the realization of what he had done, but the boy reassured him it was fine to grow out of painful memories.

‘It’s not going to be our case…’

Anyway, the wolf also took notice of the change in Stiles’ way of speaking. How his words were beginning to reflect the deepest part of his personality.

He was way deeper with his words, reassuring and leading, like he knew things ‘normal people’ could never. He spoke words worthy of some type of prize, at least Derek thought so as he had never heard anything similar come out of anyone else’s mouth.

The boy was also calm and quiet, something Derek never thought Stiles could be after knowing for quite some time. Yet, his energetic and yapping personality never vanished completely, there was just more to see beneath it whenever the boy decided to lay it all out for him.

Like the way he thought of certain topics in a way Derek had never even contemplated before, or the way he seemed to always read more in someone’s gestures and words. It brought the boy a lot of thinking, to see too much everywhere, ending up making him build a thicker wall in his mind and heart.

Which was part of the resilient side Derek also found out about. The one he always knew about but never really saw first hand or even heard of until they had known each other for a little while.

But Stiles had shown a little bit of it to him without even knowing, by sharing with the wolf more about his past, along with something about his mom and how it all affected him while they were doing something during which the boy could zone out and just talk. Derek always listened thoughtfully.

That boy had a way with the world that made the other’s skin crawl, even breaking his spine in half.

But Stiles was strong. Everything the boy told the wolf just ended up being proof of the cruelty of the world and his strength in going through all of it with a smile; it was a significant trait of his, to be some sort of everlasting optimistic whenever he looked at the past.

Derek secretly admired him for it whenever he thought of him.

Stiles’ little mix of fragile bones, bruised past stories and deep emotions made Derek think of forged swords. Weak metals held together by strong intentions coming from the blacksmith along with the burning fire which made its core. He thought it fitted his boyfriend, especially since his tongue was sharp when he put it to the right angle.

And it wasn’t just Derek who observed and learned Stiles. It was also the other way around, with the boy scribbling on paper every little detail he could gather and store in his mind.

The first thing he noticed was his docile and tame demeanor. It seemed like his scary, imposing persona was thrown out of the window the second he walked inside the same room the wolf was in, especially if they were alone. It reminded him of a puppy.

Which made him swear to never think of Derek like a puppy dog ever again since the wolf could smell his poor remark from the kitchen.

He once shot him such an offended look from where he was cooking dinner that Stiles had to beg for forgiveness and once he noticed the satisfied look on the wolf’s face, he knew he had been played.

‘Ahh…the boy got tricked by the wolf. I should put you in for adoption at the local shelter, you big puppy.’

Derek had laughed at him and closed the distance between them, coming to stand close to where Stiles was sitting. He stared into the other’s eyes and flashed them a dangerous shade of red. “I’d like to see you try,” he threatened with a smirk that ended the conversation.

‘Yep, that’s definitely my bossy wolf.’ Stiles thought as he watched the other going away to finish cooking dinner.

But at that thought, Derek giggled with a hand covering his mouth. Stiles watched with awe as the other was playing with him all along; he was never offended in the first place, he just wanted to play with the boy.

‘Like a…’

He swore to stop joking about the shelter just for good measure.

Anyway, he still ended up discovering his possessive side that way, but it was something that came up rarely. It came to the surface only when provoked.

Although, on his mental list of ‘the perks of Derek Hale as a boyfriend’ he had written more things than he could count.

From his blanket mode during the cold nights to his silent shows of affection he adored, back to his loyalty and fragile, harmless heart. Heart that was actually way more scarred than the boy ever imagined.

Stiles even started to think the wolf was starving for love. And he could tell he was right by all the things his boyfriend did differently when they were alone than with people around. Because all of those little things spoke volumes of love in different ways.

From the soft touches on his arms at night, the small actions that made the wolf have his attention in seconds just because he thought the boy was elsewhere, and the pleading eyes begging for understanding. To the yielding manner of his heart, the need of reassurance from the depths of the darkness and the tender kisses he could give with shivering lips.

Those were things only for Stiles to see.

From the wicked claws drenched in blood, the cold crossed arms on his chest reflecting the threat of his untouchable persona and the fake unapologetic looks of dismissiveness for other’s emotions. To the harsh tone of his voice when arguing, the sickening absence of hope and the jagged fangs on someone’s throat.

Those were things for the people that weren’t Stiles.

And that’s how Stiles knew Derek was showing him everything he could manage to lay out without tearing himself apart. Because one of the other things he noticed was how his raging anger was just… Gone.

The anger of the big bad wolf with the red eyes and the dying pack was nowhere to be seen.

Stiles wondered multiple times if it was a facade of sorts for the outside world; well, the world minus the loft, and he always found himself being more sure of that every single time.

Which was why, when his heart set its mission to find out everything possible about the other’s heart, it didn’t surprise one bit. Also because Derek didn’t mind his goal, maybe he wanted the boy to see his truest self and Stiles was all on board for it.

And among all the discovery, there was also a common ground they found themselves in when discussing their relationship.

They had decided to keep it a secret from everyone. Well, anyone could tell anyway if they looked close enough but that wasn’t the point. They just wanted to keep things private, to let people out of their business.

They wanted to be the only one attending each other’s personal stories and old tales, the only one to know the real feeling that soaked those words after they hit the air all around them.

It made Derek’s mind being stuck on Stiles’ question from the first day of their relationship: ‘who are you really, Derek Hale…’

He was thinking about it even that Saturday while he was on the couch, searching for the millionth time for an answer.

The grounding feeling of the pillows and the hand on his stomach made his mind rage with thoughts, none of which was good enough according to his standards.

He couldn’t pick out even the smallest detail without making a big mess out of it. There were no words he could use to make himself tangible in a way Stiles could comprehend, nothing seemed to fit in whatever description he was trying to create of himself.

But then, tangible meant action, not words.

The hand resting on his stomach gave him an idea and told him it was time to show the boy something he never thought he’d show ever again, something he had been hiding for the longest time. But he had to plan it first, he just needed to decide on a place.

His eyes were staring at the ceiling, remembering all the rooms in the building he owned and how just one of them was kept a secret from everyone. ‘That will do,’ he thought as something in his heart ached a little. He didn’t know what it was. And he didn’t have time to think about it.

Just in time to stop his mind before it could throw at him something that would delay his plan before it even began, the loft’s door was being pushed open by someone no other than Stiles. “Hey there, someone was missing me?”

Such words were nothing short of the truth, because the wolf actually missed the boy when he wasn’t around and if he’d usually just joke it off, saying he didn’t, that day was different and the boy noticed just thanks to Derek’s answer.

“Like always…”

The words left his lips in a small prayer as he stood up to get closer to Stiles, something that seemed unusual that day, almost new for them both since it was always the boy who went to the other while he waited for him.

It got his attention as he kept walking towards him.

Habits were hard to change.

Stiles noticed his boyfriend walking towards him as if he had done so just so many times over, like he knew and remembered every single other time he had walked to greet him. But it was a first and Stiles knew there was something different within it: something was on his mind.

The way his eyes didn’t really stick anywhere, the way his fingers were flexing by his sides with the need of purpose, the way his forehead was slightly crunched in some sort of plan making expression.

Everything gave him away, something was definitely on his mind.

He slowed his steps until Derek was in front of him, both of them stood near the kitchen aisle which was by their side, between the living room and the door. Stiles’ first reaction was to hold the wolf in a tight hug and Derek sank in his arms, allowing the gesture to calm his mind.

Stiles’s arms went around his neck, placing a small kiss on his neck just to feel the muscles beneath his lips. Flexed but at ease. ‘What a strange mix…’

The boy noticed it was different, everything that day was somewhat different.

His shoulders were lower, not in defeat but calmness, some sort of quiet before the storm. His back was arched to allow his brush against his cheek, maybe breathing in his scent that might have been tinted with all the details of his eyes’ report. His arms fell around his waist making a big loop, way too large behind his lower back to reflect his possessiveness.

“Something’s wrong, Derek?” Left his lips the second his arms fell between them and moved behind the other, caressing the wolf’s back, who hid his face in the crock of his neck in a snap of fingers and despite how usual it was, it felt heavier.

But he didn’t answer, for quite some time actually. Stiles wasn’t worried, he knew he needed some time to work up the words.

“I was just thinking about your question from a while ago, about who I really am,” he said slowly “and today I thought I’d show you… Something about me.”

In the boy’s eyes, the other looked smaller, as if he was trying to look less imposing, almost bowing his head down and letting Stiles all around him. Like he wanted nothing more than to be cared for, gently. And despite the boy already knew that, it felt like there was something more, new to it.

The conversation was unexpected; Stiles didn’t see it coming in the slightest, but if Derek was ready to let him inside his heart without any barrier between them, he’d take the chance with open arms and mind. After all, it was their goal to get into each other’s lives.

“Okay, big guy. What’d you get for me?”

Despite the jokingly tone, Stiles was serious to his very core. His only intention was to make sure Derek was comfortable around him and he knew opening up was a hard task for the alpha to handle on its own, so Stiles eagerly stepped in. Careful and caring as always, and for the special occasion just more firmly, like Derek was made of thin glass and he had to manage it with caution in order to not break it.

Derek didn’t say anything back, his eyes spoke for him and Stiles got the message, letting silence arrive between them. It was always the third wheel of their time together, but they sank in it regardless.

The wolf took the other’s hand and walked towards the balcony, leaving behind the small square of space they had been occupying all along. Stiles already wondered where they might be going and when Derek didn’t open the door to go out, the boy knew it was a place he’d never been to before.

Up a flight of stairs the boy had never noticed, the wolf held his hand as if it could withdraw at any second but Stiles walked close behind him, making sure the other knew he wasn’t going anywhere. It surprised him when, despite knowing about the two floors of the loft, there was a third he never even thought about.

Their steps were almost silent up the stairs, making no remarkable sound and leaving the boy with his imagination running wild but calmly. It was Derek after all, he had more secrets than anything else. But most of them were probably harmless to the people around him.

When they made it to the top, still hand in hand, the third floor was somewhat… Disappointing.

It was just a small hallway that led to a door, with empty walls and with a small light on top of the doorframe. It would’ve been creepy if Stiles didn’t know Derek well enough.

The wolf began to open a wooden door, old and squeaky, with one hand and Stiles wondered how long it had stayed closed for, because it looked like almost a full decade had passed since the last time its hinges worked properly. But once ajar, the boy could see the floor being not the same as the door and curiosity washed over him.

Their hands were still together, behind Derek and in front of Stiles. The boy thought about trains and how they were chained together by cables and huge metal hooks. He suffocated a laugh when things were ready.

The door was wide open, Derek guided the boy with their conjoined hands and made him walk in front of him, entering the room, so that he could close it back behind them as he stepped inside as well.

The lively room shocked Stiles’ eyes and his mind finally decided to tell him what he was looking at: an attic.

He took a few steps but didn’t dare to roam around and explore, yet his eyes scanned the room with caution. Derek was soon by his side but he didn’t stop, he kept walking while pulling the boy along and Stiles let a sentence float out without noticing.

“You even have an attic… It looks like you lived in here,” discreetly came out his month as he started to walk behind the wolf, who was headed for the window directly in front of the door, on the other side of the whole floor. The ceiling followed the line of the roof, one singular diagonal line, lower above the door and much higher where the window was.

The walls were naked wood and had some framed pictures on them. Stiles figured they were his family and maybe a few generations of the Hales too, but he simply scanned them with his eyes. On one wall he even noticed a double door, his mind suggested a bathroom but his vision was caught by something else.

He let everything go unnoticed and focused on his boyfriend, who tagged at his hand once they were a few feet from a window he could never take his eyes off from.

It was a circular glass, clear and spotless, with a cross of wood on it and it was huge, almost the whole wall. From it, the Preserve and the majority of the city could be seen.

A dim light shone through it, enlightening them but not enough to bling them. The window itself seemed to be something out of a movie, something made to make a hole into someone’s chest with its majestic impression.

It was breathtaking.

Then Derek broke the silence when Stiles was fully by his side. He had walked slower when he noticed the window in its completeness.

“I used to spend a lot of my time here after my family house became unmanageable.” His eyes were firm as he spoke, soft even. “I didn’t want anyone to see me and this place was perfect.” The words arrived to the boy as he noticed a couch opened to be a bed in front of the window; he had noticed so little when he first stepped inside.

But his eyes shifted back to Derek as he spoke, holding his hand with tender fingers. “I only went out to visit Peter in the hospital.” The words were barely soaked with emotions, a story he told about himself even if it didn’t feel like his.

His green eyes were on Stiles, who apparently was speechless and didn’t know what to do about it. But Derek added more to the story and it got to the boy’s ears. “I haven’t been here in a long time. Never had a reason to come back here.”

Stiles could only imagine how much sorrow those walls had heard and how much rain the window had stopped. Maybe the wolf wanted to redesign the room for something more than plain pain.

Derek spoke again after some long, silent seconds stopping the boy’s wandering thoughts.

“And no one knows about this place.” He said like it wasn’t something Stiles already knew since he knew the wolf’s private attitude towards his own life.

What was new was what came next.

“No one except you.”

It was the last thing he said as silence came back between them. Derek let a few minutes pass, in which Stiles stayed by his side. They never let their intertwined fingers break apart and the boy could tell the other was nervous by how tight his grip had gotten on his hand.

He held his hand softly in return, letting the other decide how things were meant to go, whatever pace he wanted to go with. Stiles knew it would be a slow one but he didn’t mind if it meant staying with Derek.

A few other words came out his mouth as they were staring out the window, comfortable nothing all around them.

Derek got Stiles’ attention the second his grip shifted demeanor. The boy could notice everything about his wolf. “I want you to know how I really am beneath… all of this.” The words were accompanied with him gesturing at his eyes with one finger.

His irises flashed red for a split second, enough for Stiles to understand what the other was talking about. The boy nodded, understanding and letting his boyfriend decide his next move, because the boy could feel it coming.

Derek looked at him, eyes green as the forest outside the window as the color was being swallowed by the black within it, mind pondering the next move.

Then, he pulled Stiles’ hand gently to guide him to sit on the couch and Stiles did without a second thought. No questions asked, not even a word left his mouth.

‘If this is what you want me to do, I’ll do everything you want to make sure you feel safe with me’ was all his mind could think about as he waited. He never felt so protective of anyone else before, not even of his father, while he sat there staring at his wolf.

The window was right behind him, the couch underneath him felt somehow way too soft. Maybe the wolf had spent more time on it than on the one in the living room, but he paid no mind to such small detail when Derek got his attention without much effort.

He stood in front of the boy, not moving a finger and without saying anything.

‘Thinking?’ Questioned Stiles and he was almost certainly right, because Derek had kind yet thoughtful eyes. Those irises of his held so much color that minimizing it to green felt like an offense as Stiles stared in them.

But he didn’t have much time to think of all the shades of jade mixed with earthy tones since Derek broke the silence, his voice was barely a whisper as it left his lips. Stiles listened with perky ears and big eyes.

“Close your eyes,” and he did, following instructions like he was in some kind of training, while his mind remembered how he once let the wolf leave unseen.

For a split second, he wondered if it was going to happen again.

But it didn’t.

Derek stared at him, sitting there with closed eyes and his hands by his side, palm down and waiting.

His fingers came together, flexing and picking at his skin while he thought about what he was about to do. If it was a good idea or not, if he could’ve done it or not.

Eyes looked around for a split second, but nothing helped him decide. He had to choose for himself and it was something very new to him.

Stiles didn’t say anything and in that moment, Derek could really use some of his comforting words, but he knew his boy was letting him do everything according to his own pace and comfort zone.

The boy didn’t hear anything going on in front of his closed eyes, nothing seemed to move as he stayed still with his fingers on the couch, one hand by each side. He wondered for a solid second about the next minute, if something was going on and he didn't know about it but his thinking stopped.

What came next surprised him, nothing that happened since he came to the loft could’ve been a clue for it.

Derek took a heavy, long and silent breath and prayed softly in his mind to be strong enough to let his boyfriend see.

Then, he moved.

His steps to get closer to his boy were too mute for him to hear and the other was surprised but recovered quickly as he served his special gift of the day.

The little part of himself he was allowing Stiles to have.

The boy felt a weight on his legs, arms going around his neck and a hot exhale of breath on his neck.

Derek spoke a single second later while the other didn’t move a finger.

“Open them” came immediately after and his eyes were back on his boyfriend.

Who was then sitting on his lap.

Face hiding in his neck, legs rigid on top of his thighs, the boy pondered for a moment if he could speak and he ended up whispering softly in his ear. He couldn’t let Derek be so tense without having a chance to reassure him.

“Can I hug you?”

The other nodded, letting out a small “yeah” that Stiles almost didn’t catch.

Under his fingers, he felt Derek’s back being tense, nervous. It didn’t take him long to figure that being like that with someone was something the other hadn't done in a while, something he was probably very reluctant about.

Fingertips were gentle and feathered on his knotted muscles. warm and soothing with every little action they send on the other’s clothed skin. Derek was taking deep breaths in the crock of Stiles’ neck and that’s when the wolf heard the boy’s words for him.

“Everything’s alright, there’s nothing you have to worry about.”

It was a plea Derek was so accustomed to. Something Stiles had always reserved for him, always offered him whether in a thin whisper or in a warm voice whenever he could sense something was somewhat wrong or distressful for him.

It always managed to get him to calm down. The general reassurance within it exposed the depth of Stiles’ care and affection for him. He could read it in his words any time he spoke, he could make it his own as the boy gifted him more of it each time they were together and the boy couldn’t keep his words within his mouth.

He turned his head to lay just his cheek on Stiles’ shoulder, his eyes were the green of freshly cut grass sparkled with dirt in the light coming from the window, nothing but his boyfriend was in his view and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stiles noticed a presence staring at him and with the corner of his eyes, he saw Derek’s eyes glued into his own. A soft smile on his lips made his eyes wrinkle and the wolf secretly took a picture of that with his mind. He was going to treasure that memory and remember it each time Stiles would smile.

He was an emotional person, there was nothing to be done about it.

But the boy also talked as his eyes did something else, “what?”

He let his mind memorize the exact image of Derek’s eyes being hit by the light, creating a gaze that spoke volumes of vulnerability to him. A show only for him to witness and to hold for a very long time.

“You don’t know how much I like it when you do that…”

His words didn’t have a subject and Stiles didn’t know what he was talking about. But he treasured the sound of his voice, it seemed so little and different than his usual deep, raspy tone. And it was just good to hear him talk about whatever was on his mind.

So, his expression spoke before he could talk. “Mh?” And Derek had a soft smile Stiles hoped to see for a very long time while he waited to know something more. He understood the wolf was enjoying their little back and forth, especially when he was the one with the knowledge in his hands.

Derek’s gorgeous eyes ended up disappearing when he closed them, enjoying how comfortable the boy’s shoulder felt under his cheek. Stiles never stopped looking at him like an artist would look to his muse. In a soft string of voice, the wolf revealed what Stiles wanted to know.

“I like it when you reassure me of everything.”

He didn’t say anything at first. His arms simply went more around the other’s body, who got the meaning in the gesture which the boy vocalized soon after. “Any time, for you” and in those few words there was an entire speech the wolf never heard, but he felt it resonating in his chest.

It went so deep within him that he relaxed under Stiles’ care.

Minutes went by and the boy felt tension leave Derek’s body in favor of calmness; he was glad for it and no words could ever explain how much.

His fingers trailed the line of his back, his shoulder blades and how prominent they were, the line of his spine and how deep it went within the skin. Stiles mapped everything he could as if he was never going to hold him ever again, but he soon reminded himself it wasn’t going to be the case.

On his thighs, the boy could feel Derek being relaxed, somehow the way his weight was on his legs spoke of understanding, as if the wolf knew Stiles accepted him unconditionally even if he said nothing about it, as if leaving it up for interpretation.

But he did.

Derek could tell by his scent being empty of even the smallest hint of judgment and he didn’t need anything more than that.

Arms were around the boy’s neck and legs were by each of his sides on the extended couch as they sat there in their usual, comfortable silence. It was the only thing not out of the ordinary for them, but only until then because Stiles knew it was all going to change and it didn’t scare him.

Well, maybe a little just because it was Derek.

Once he was sure the wolf was basically on the edge of falling asleep on his lap, which meant he was basically melting under Stiles’ fingers on his back that nothing could bother him, the boy broke the silence with his quiet voice asking a question that popped up in his mind a while before.

“You’re not as dominant as you look, are you?”

The wolf almost froze in place, eyes shot open and back to being nervous under the other’s touch, but Stiles’ warm words seeped into him. “It’s alright, you know” and he placed a kiss on Derek’s temple before going on, “I love you either way” and the alpha had nothing in himself to stop the emotion from coming.

Slipping inside the cracks of his heart, Stiles’ kind words were something Derek never thought he’d hear from anyone and apparently, he wasn’t done letting them all out so flawlessly either. “You are always lovable and you deserve love,” the boy picked up his chin so the wolf was looking into his eyes, sappy and caring.

Oh, he was never going to be able to look at anyone the same way he looked at Stiles after that.

Derek stared and pondered, letting the panic wash away and the tension wear off. His eyelids weren’t wide open anymore and he took a deep breath, just because he could feel what was coming. And he wanted to enjoy it.

Amber eyes switched between green ones and rosy lips and when the wolf did the same, getting closer just enough to deliver his message, Stiles was already kissing him. On his boyfriend's lips, Derek could feel a smile and a little huff was exactly what got the boy to talk.

“Even better for you when I’m the lucky one who gets to love ya” and they both laughed, breaking the kiss without much regard for it while the boy circled his wolf’s torso with his arms. ‘We can do it more later,’ was Stiles’ honest thought about it.

The wolf never stopped circling the boy’s neck as he trailed his nose behind the other’s ear, inhaling everything that was Stiles and knowing exactly what he was thinking. It got him to blush a little and the boy’s mind flashed with something only werewolves could sense. “Chemo signals screwed me over?”

His brows crooked in a hint of fake worry, knowing the wolf might not mind at all if they kissed more later. Derek looked at his eyes and smirked, “very much so” and lips were back on lips, ‘let’s not wait for later though.’

Gentle lips met with kind ones, Derek held on Stiles’ neck, wrapping his arms around him as the boy did the same around his torso, taking the other in a firm yet caring embrace that didn’t want to break. What came next took the wolf by surprise, apparently the day had more in its pocket for them than they expected.

Stiles’ words were delicate like petals but they went the depth of a knife digging through something as soft as butter coming out of his lips, barely audible if you weren’t close enough to catch them as they fell.

“I love you, baby” came naturally out his mouth in between kisses and when he noticed he took a step back. He didn’t know if it was something safe to say.

“What?” Was more referred to why he stopped and not what he said, but Derek’s words were misinterpreted.

“I’m sorry I didn’t-” but he was cut short as the man on his lap scooped closer to his chest just a little and his words put everything in place. “It’s okay, darling.” That little word got Derek more kisses from his boyfriend than a breakfast in bed ever could.

Stiles silently and secretly wrote down the exact motion Derek did to get closer to him. He couldn’t help himself with that little detail that came so effortlessly to the wolf.

While the wolf himself was busy with another little detail. His mind intentionally left out another part, one he wasn’t ready to share but he knew Stiles didn’t mind. Stiles was as patient as a snail, always going to reach its destination even if it took it weeks or months.

But ‘everything has its time’ were comforting words in his head.

They didn’t talk about the pet names, they let them come naturally because that was how they arrived at being in a relationship, so it was time saved to share more tenderness on each other’s lips…

As time went on, just a few minutes, Stiles’ hands arrived around the other’s waist in a soft hold and the wolf hummed, a subtle hint he was more than fine with his boyfriend’s doing.

And if Derek’s actions were his way of sharing himself, leaving words out of it for a bit longer, Stiles’ next gesture had more in it than his words ever did.

The wolf’s body got pulled closer to the boy’s, hands around his waist urged him to come forward but only if he wanted as the hold on his sides was soft and permissive while rock solid.

Derek did get closer, as if something else was calling for him to get to Stiles. He didn’t know what it was, but his heart ached in a sinister way at the thought of pulling away from his boyfriend, ‘from…’

It went away almost immediately and he didn’t have any time to register the feeling, especially since Stiles was holding him like he was freezing despite the fact that spring was about to start, seemingly stealing some of his warmth.

“Are you cold?” He simply asked, wanting to know out of sheer curiosity and genuine care for the other. The boy looked up at him, meeting the eyes he loved.

Stiles’ words came to the other’s ears a few moments later, as if he had to think about what he was about to say. Derek ended up trying to caress his neck with his fingers, massaging away some coldness and Stiles dived in the feeling. His scent was already more relaxed to the wolf’s nostrils after that little gesture.

“I just saw you being hurt so many times in a row…” His eyes were fixed in the other’s, hands holding his waist more firmly as if he could slip away any second. “I thought I was gonna lose you before I even got you” and Derek kissed his forehead in response, showing the other he wasn’t going anywhere.

Derek could tell the other’s sadness was meant to go away just a few moments later, but it was moments like those that he treasured the most, that also showed him he could be vulnerable with Stiles because Stiles was with him. But he didn’t really know what to say since almost nothing came to his mind, he knew he’d get hurt again whenever the next bad guy would come in town.

Yet, Stiles knew it as well and his next words took a load off Derek’s shoulders.

“Just come to me when you get hurt, don’t hide.” And on his face there was already a warm smile to wipe away the wolf’s concerns. “I will,” promised Derek as their hold around one another got stronger simultaneously.

After that, Stiles’ calm and warm scent was back, taking its toll on the wolf’s senses as he was almost falling asleep once again. For some reason, he felt like he needed to rest. His head laid on the boy’s shoulder again, a pillow he was getting really fond of. Maybe it was his presence that made him act in such a docile manner, but he didn’t mind.

When the boy noticed the wolf being almost motionless on his lap, sleeping effectively getting at him, he got the message they both needed to rest as he yawned while his head was resting on Derek’s collarbone. He moved slowly, making sure to carry the other with himself without waking him up from his thin sleep.

He managed to get them both to lay on the sofa bed, which he noticed immediately was more comfortable than the couch downstairs. Derek was sprawled on top of him, breathing in his neck with his arms somehow still around his neck. Stiles had one knee up just for comfort, while the other was still beneath the wolf. Both arms were on the alpha’s back and waist.

They ended up falling asleep in the attic, the soft light coming from the window didn’t bother them as it was around 6 PM and it was a dim, soft type of light. It felt like night came earlier for the both of them but neither minded, they just took the opportunity to be together, whether it was asleep or awake.

And around 8 PM, Stiles was the first to wake up as his biological clock told him it was time to eat.

His eyelids felt heavy and he couldn’t hold them open, yet when Derek woke up too soon after he had all the energy in the world to stare at him as his awakening came rather slowly.

He stretched while his eyes were still closed but it didn’t take long for them to open, his head moved away from his neck to rest his chin on Stiles’ chest, so that he could look up at him. “We fell asleep… What time is it?” The wolf simply asked him as he rubbed his eyes and the feeling of Stiles’ hands on his back was guiding him to go back to sleep. He had to fight it.

“Probably around dinner time” and his mind already ran to what he could make without knowing if there was something in the fridge to begin with, but he was beaten in time. “My turn to cook.”

It was a rather calm statement as the wolf stood back up, leaving Stiles without his new found wolfie blanket. ‘Guess the game switched our roles, but who cares anyway,’ he thought half asleep.

And how could he not joke around it anyway?

“Now you cook and clean for me, eh? It’s gonna be so good to be lazy in here” and his eyes looked at the wolf as he walked towards the door. The smile Stiles was wearing was passed on to Derek, who covered it with his hand to try and hide how happy his silly remark made him.

Without saying a word, the alpha walked back over to Stiles, who was on his elbows to meet Derek’s gaze, his back still off the couch. “You’d like that, but today is special so…” He trailed off, hovering above Stiles as his arms went next to the boy’s head to support him, caging him in between.

He gave him a small peck on the lips, and that was all.

Stiles was amazed at how comfortable he got simply thanks to how close they had been from the start, how acceptance and patience could help them both to work out their relationship. But Derek’s words brought him back to the present and he wouldn’t have agreed more to what he said.

“I’ll bring you dinner in bed,” Stiles was already all smiley and cheering at his victory, “but it won't happen again so soon.” Derek walked away before Stiles could protest anything, so he just laid back down, accepting his partial defeat but enjoying the other victorious half.

His mind trailed out the window, head turning back as the view of the sky cleared his thoughts and almost nothing could disrupt his peace as he felt that their relationship was going to work just fine after those two months.

But he knew it wasn’t all rainbows and flowers, there were going to be things to work on, he knew the wolf wasn’t just a pretty face.

‘We’ll work it out together, I’ll take care of you… I feel like you want me to, I feel it's the right thing to do.’

He promised as his eyes were glued to the view outside. And as he kept staring, a cloud in the sky was shaped as a spiral and his mind served him with the image of Derek’s tattoo.

Tracing it over covered skin made him memorize exactly where it was placed on the other’s back, so he traced it in the air above him, fingers drawing what felt like an oat. Some show of loyalty he wasn’t really aware of doing.

And as he was writing his vows in thin air, downstairs Derek was cooking for them both, searching around for something that could help him recreate an old family dish his father taught him. It was more of a morning than a night dish, but he was sure Stiles wasn’t going to mind if he put some pasta in it to make it more dinner-ish.

Eggs, bacon and würstel were cooking in a pan on the oven, while on another one, pasta was in its boiling water, getting to the perfect consistency he knew his boyfriend liked. For many it would’ve been a bit too cooked, but they both enjoyed it more that way.

Once everything was ready, the three tops got chopped into smaller pieces and thrown into the pasta, then everything was sorted into two plates which he brought upstairs a few seconds later.

Stiles noticed the door sliding open and he turned his attention there, finally deciding to sit up to eat, crossing his leg beneath himself. Derek walked his way to the bed with the plates and the boy was already hungry for whatever the other cooked.

“I should leave you all the cooking, you know?” Jokingly suggested Stiles as he took a bite once his boyfriend gave him his place and sat by his side. “It’s the best pasta I’ve ever had, who knew you could do this” and his eyes showed how impressed he was.

“My father taught me, but it was a breakfast dish so I added the pasta to it.” His eyes were happy as he said those words. Stiles knew it was because he got to share something happy about his past with someone who cared for him.

They ate together as they shared more happy memories of their parents in the kitchen cooking for them, what they used to prepare and how much they loved it. In the end, their plates were empty and they left them by the sides of the sofa, “let’s take care of them another time,” said Stiles as he laid his back on the couch, stretching out his legs.

Derek hummed and mimicked the other’s position, both of them savoring the taste of the pasta. Until Stiles’ fingers traveled the couch to reach the wolf’s and hold his hand, which Derek took with a bright smile on his face.

His next sentence got the alpha to fall a bit more for him. It came naturally, like there was no reason behind it. “Why don’t we spend the night here?” Green eyes looked at him like it was the idea of the century and Stiles was already on his feet before the wolf could answer.

“Come on, let’s get the bedsheets at least, and some pillows maybe” chanted the boy as he pulled the wolf by their intertwined hands. “Alright” and Derek was on his feet too, following his boyfriend out the room and down the stairs to get to the bedroom.

Once there, he never could’ve imagined it would’ve turned into a fight of who pulled the strongest.

It was obvious Derek was keeping his strength at bay and Stiles was putting his all to have a few more fabric by his side.

On each side of the bed, they were pulling the sheets and the wolf ended up winning, pulling along Stiles with the bedcover, who ended up falling on the bed. Derek laughed at the boy and he got back a small warning. “Be prepared for what’s coming next” and a pillow was thrown his way.

He didn’t catch it as his hands were full and it was Stiles’ turn to laugh at him, then he picked up the two pillows and secured them under one arm. His free hand went to hold Derek’s, who wiped the floor with the sheets as the boy pulled him back upstairs behind him.

Luckily for them, the loft was always clean for some strange reason Stiles never understood, ‘maybe he likes to clean…?’ But he let it fall as they opened the door of the attic, going back to the sofa bed and throwing everything on it.

Messily putting everything as best they could, the sheets covered the mattress and the pillows were placed where the backrest was. Taking a few instants to enjoy their new masterpiece of bed covering, Stiles was the first to lay down and Derek followed him the same second.

Laying half on top of Stiles, the wolf felt sleep coming back at him despite they were eating just around half an hour earlier, while the boy caressed his back, tracing the tattoo on his shoulder blades.

It came naturally to Stiles to ask, “why’d you get this?” His fingers traced the three spirals and Derek looked at him.

Somehow still awake despite everything pulling him to close his eyes for the night, his answer was quick but full of meaning. “It’s part of who I am, it’s where I come from” and it meant more than just a family tie.

Stiles knew it meant his past, his family, the people who died, the weight of carrying such a name in a world where it was seen as a threat. “I love it” was all he said about it, kissing the wolf’s temple and keeping his fingers moving on his back.

For that tattoo on his back, it was that simple.

It was a memento of things, constantly changing and adding up, forming the person it was on. Forming the person Stiles was going to know like the back of his hand.

And while he wondered with slow fingers on the spirals about the sleeping man beneath them, Stiles felt his skin through his shirt letting him know all the small stories he still had to hear about.

Soon enough, night was claiming the boy too. The time to speak was over and the time to rest was beginning. Stiles made one last effort to speak before his voice was put to sleep.

“Good night, baby.”

The night already had him wrapped in Stiles’ arms, breathing his scent directly from the crock of his neck and melting underneath his loving fingertips on his back.

So, Derek simply hummed his response through the thick sleep he was covered with.

How could anyone expect him to break the moment with words?

Chapter Text

Around six months later, their relationship got stronger.

But they decided to keep it for themselves since Derek wasn’t ready to say it to the pack. The alpha, despite the menacing appearance he kept with the others, wasn’t really one to announce things around, especially when one of the people they’d had to tell it to was Scott.

The wolf was well aware that it was his boyfriend the one who had all the excitement to share their news, but Stiles understood the other’s worries the second they left his mouth a while back. So they just spend their days of peace together, under the radar and without leaving any trace of their love, like it was a second nature to hide in plain sight.

Especially for one of them, who had to hide for half his life for something he didn’t even choose.

“You really like people to know we are together, don’t you?” Derek asked Stiles once while they were cooking dinner after an evening out. His boyfriend always looked joyful whenever he got the chance to talk about their time together to others, but he had to keep it fairly low, ending up stating how close their ‘friendship’ turned out to be.

Stiles liked to be a little mischief by modifying the information he would be giving around about them, enjoying the perplexed looks on people’s faces. Derek had to pull him back from going too far sometimes, he was a menace if he went too far with it.

“How could I ever shut up about it? I have Derek Hale wrapped around my fingers, who would shut up about that?” The boy even said, while Derek dumped on his side with his hip making Stiles giggle a little and that was it. His comments were just for them, a little treasure they allowed each other to have, especially since those silly words made them both smile more often than not.

‘I wouldn’t try to correct or change you even for my peace of mind… Well, maybe I’d think about it a little bit’ and just as if Stiles could read his mind, he spoke, filling the hot air above the stove. Speaking words for the other had become another aspect of their relationship that the boy liked to play out; making a big scene for both their enjoyment.

“And you like it just as much, you can’t deny it.” He had persuasive eyes, knowing there was no argument that could go against it. “You wouldn’t trade me for anything else and I simply know you keep quiet about anything in your life, so I’ll brag about it for you too.”

Stiles even bumped back on the other, who didn’t say anything and agreed in silence, with a grin Derek could never make disappear; the boy and the wolf were very much in tune with their silly play of stolen looks and unheard conversations.

It was how they used to settle everything between the two of them; their chemistry never missed a chance to show whenever they were alone or not. And unfortunately for someone, it sometimes got them to face some allegations that there might be more between them, just like Cora once noticed.

The Hale sister sometimes got under Stiles’ skin a little too easily, but he liked her either way. He also liked to replay that fateful night over and over just for fun…

They were hosting a simple dinner the same day they had the conversation about the privacy of their relationship.

Cora was staying in the city for a little while and Stiles, good old pal for Derek, offered his help to cook and then enjoy the meal altogether. He had known her for a bit at the time and she was aware of his friendship with her brother, so it shouldn't have brought up any suspiciousness.

But apparently they were getting so comfortable with one another and it was starting to show. From the brushing hands that happened when they walked close to one another to the stolen looks they exchanged that usually no one really noticed, things escalated. People could tell that ‘friendship’ wasn’t a term strong enough for them.

However, lucky as they were, no one really questioned them face to face, they all always had something else going on. And they always let the two enjoy themselves in the shadows, just like they liked it for the time being.

Wolf and boy cooking at the stove, Cora’s eyes marked their silhouettes and noticed something off on each of them. Stiles looked more rugged, his researching habit went down a bit since there was no need for them, but there was no hint of gym in his scent that she could pick up in that moment. On the other hand, Derek looked relaxed and alive, breathing as if he was willing to do it; for how simple of a description it was, sticking it to her brother was kind of new.

“Are you sure there’s nothing going on with you two?” Her question didn’t miss a mark as she let it out without even circling around it, just said it straight while looking at their backs.

‘You’ve always been the watcher of the family…’ The wolf pointed out in his mind while hiding a soft smirk and Stiles got a little clue that the other was the one that wanted to handle his own sister. ‘Do as it pleases you, she’s gonna smell the lies off of me anyway.’ And it was settled with unspoken words how the night was going to be.

“What are you talking about Cora? Nothing’s going on here.” He looked at her with the corner of his eyes, turning his head just enough to catch her assertive stare; it was like she was talking about some strange thing the couple had never heard of. However, despite the dim exchange of looks, she hummed at her brother, not really believing him as he was too calm in her opinion.

Her brother was never so calm about anything.

“Derek” she called out for him, receiving his attention as he turned around to watch her, leaving the stove behind and walking slowly to be sitting at the table with her. They stared at each other for some time, just like Stiles knew the Hales would do; they had a thing for long stares and silent threats between the family.

But then she spoke with a flat tone, “You’re not telling me something and it involves Stiles…” It was her voice that didn’t leave any space for debate; Derek remembered it from before the fire, while he could already read the remark the boy had in his mind regarding the situation.

‘You can’t gaslight her buddy, she’s already trucking us down. Good luck.’ He was scared for a second, maybe she read the comment in the boy's scent and they would be done, but she seemed completely unfazed by it, as if his scent was white as a paper sheet; Stiles’ comment was just between them, he quickly figured out.

He had noticed how something always seemed to connect them, maybe the reason for the connection might have been the same that could explain his sister’s lack of knowledge about it.

But Derek certainly didn’t have time to investigate the feeling with Cora sitting right in front of him, staring in his eyes with a darkening look; she was getting irritated that an answer wasn’t coming out her brother’s month and improvisation was his best shot.

“Stiles has a girlfriend but he is shy about her.”

His words shocked both his sister and his boyfriend.

Stiles had to pull his best act to not seem bothered or surprised by Derek’s words and Cora shifted her eyes back on him, something in his fading scent proved her brother’s words right. But she wasn’t totally on it; why would Stiles be shy about his girlfriend and why would Derek be the one to tell her about this ghost girl?

Cora looked in his eyes, green as always and somehow more alive, it was driving her off the cliff.

“You sure it’s a girl and not you?” She promptly said, staring at her brother, whose composure didn’t succumb to any of her words or menacing gazes. Luckily for the two guys, Derek had mastered the art of lying straight through his teeth and nothing could give him away. Not even chemo signals, apparently.

“Are you out of your mind? Me and the spaz?” His finger pointed behind his back directly to Stiles and the boy was struck by lighting as he turned around and shouted, as offended as he could fakely be. “Give it a try first before judging!” And he turned back to the stove, hiding the biggest smile ever, but he couldn’t risk being caught.

Cora looked between the two of them, something didn’t fit in their scheme of events. Her eyes didn’t leave her brother’s but he held her stare like it was nothing, waiting for her to say anything else for him to dance around.

His sister surely was someone who didn’t dance around though, because her words were nothing if not jumping to conclusions that were way too right to be admitted by either of the two guys in the room.

“You gave it a try, didn’t you?” It was more than what the wolf expected; he didn’t remember his younger sister to be so on point and acute with her allegations, but he was willing to play along just to laugh about it with Stiles later on.

“Cora, my sweet sister” he held her hands in his own, elbows on the table to reach closer to her face. “I’d rather let Peter roam around the city as an alpha than” he did quotation marks as he spoke and let go of her hands for a second, “give it a try.” Sarcastic smile and offended eyes seemed to do the job Derek needed to get done; she seemed to start buying a ticket to their theater.

But she had to point it out anyway before going on; Cora wouldn’t miss a chance to poke his brother. “Sassy” and she memorized the way her brother hid a grin and looked flatter at the comment, then she went on to her other victim.

“What’s her name?” She called out from the table, talking to Stiles while Derek turned around to face him, wanting to see if their little play could hold on any longer with the boy’s imagination. If it was going to fall all down, the wolf needed to have a way to make sure his sister would stay quiet about it.

However he didn’t need to; Stiles spoke without turning to meet either of their eyes and spoke with a faceless and flat tune. It could’ve given them away, but he was supposed to be shy about her, so hiding and being sort of poked by the question could all but just make everything more real.

“Brenda.” His voice was thin enough to cut like paper, laughter was already digging its way out as he said the word and he had to keep it at bay until she’d eventually leave after dinner. He had to keep it up just throughout the night, then everything would be back to normal.

Another question arrived soon after, “how did you meet her?”

He couldn’t even think about it without risking her sniffing the lie off of him, so he played along with whatever information his mind threw at him in a fit of confusion and fading memories of forgotten girls he had met a long time before that night.

"Outside a party at some random house.” It was almost way too stupid to be believable but he hoped for some mercy and said it as if he was remembering a treasured memory of his dear, living girlfriend from the first night they’d met. Maybe Cora could even picture the smile he had when he saw Brenda for the first time.

Stiles turned around the stove, finally facing them with the best poker face he could master without cracking up with hysteria as he said everything while Derek was staring at him.

“It was the first time I saw her…” He covered his cheek as he blushed in embarrassment, which kind was all up for debate. “She asked me if I wanted to dance and…”

Maybe sounding as if she was the one who made a move on him could be the reason for his shyness about her, and Core seemed to buy it with Derek's comment.

“She is a dominant girl.” It was so out of the box but Cora was on board, interested in the girl. “Met her once. She could be an alpha if somebody bit her.”

Stiles looked at him with raised brows when the Hale sister looked out the window for a second, seemingly distracted by something; ‘you really want to argue about who’s got the lead now?’ But Derek just coughed off a laugh when Cora turned back to meet Stiles’ shy eyes, which were down on the floor in fake shame.

‘What an actor you are, mh?’

Derek ended up listening some more about Brenda just like Cora did while Stiles finished making dinner after calling his wolf to help him out.

Sooner than later everything was served on plates and eaten by everyone, but their guest didn’t let go of the bait and the theater had to stay open some more as she had more questions.

Cora ended up asking Stiles more about his alleged girlfriend and it turned out they’ve been together for a few months, she didn’t live in the city and knew nothing about the supernatural. It seemed believable just because Stiles managed to come up with numerous details about her, as if she somehow really existed.

And he had to push them all out like he was timid about it.

Once dinner was over, Cora left them be, giving Stiles a long look. “Bring her around sometimes” was all she said as she went out the door, “maybe” he said with a weak voice and that was it. The couple then looked at each other the second Derek gave a slow nod to no one in particular after he heard her car staring and driving off.

They stared at each other in silence before their act fell off and was being thrown in the trash.

They started to cough, then tried to hide their laughs some more in respect to her but it was in vain.

Cracking up in laughter, Stiles almost hit the floor as he couldn’t hold it in anymore, while Derek had teary eyes for how much he laughed with the boy. One more minute and Cora would’ve found out about everything and screwed them over for lying to her throughout dinner.

Laughs filled the room, while Derek dragged Stiles to the couch with fatigue after picking him up from the floor. Neither of them was able to move much, both their stomachs were in pain with how much fun they had with their little act.

“Who the hell is Brenda anyway!?” The wolf asked the boy once they finally sat on the couch after slow steps were made to reach it, still enjoying their little play time with Cora. "Remember that labyrinth film? I got her from it” and they cracked another joyful laugh. Their secret was safe, for the time ahead anyway.

“What about you then?” Stiles turned to face his ‘friend’ and pointed an accusatory finger at him. “What?!” Derek had his best facade on, face calm and hands up in an innocent stunt while the boy was thriving to see how happy the wolf was, just as he was to see Stiles the same. “All that gaslighting? The judgy crap you pulled on me?”

Derek’s hands fell back on his legs and he had his head on his knees as he tried to contain his laughs, but it was a hard task when Stiles was looking at him all offended and shocked, exaggerating every single expression as much as possible. “It was fun! You can’t deny it!” And Stiles pulled his best ‘excuse you?!’ stare he could master with his face just a breath from the wolf’s.

“Don’t bring back the denying now, Brenda!”

The conversation didn’t end, laughter suffocated them both until they went up the stairs around midnight and finally made it to bed and slept. Well, they laughed again before it.

“Come on, Tommy. Get in the bed.” Chimed Derek at his boyfriend, pulling out another character’s name he remembered was in love with the girl. Stiles walked back from the toilet after a long shower, drying his hair with a towel and not caring about putting on anything else than a stoles shirt and a pair of boxers.

“Alright alright Brenda, don’t bite me.” Stiles jumped on the bed, everything was settled and nothing could compare to the happiness they felt that day, pulling Cora back and forth. They’d have to ask for forgiveness whenever they would decide to share their relationship with others. But night came, and that was left to be a problem for another day…

No big bad guy was roaming around the city to bother them, the pack was silent and there was some sort of radio silence going on, which allowed them to be together and do some more exploring.

During one cloudy evening a few weeks later, the TV was streaming some new show that neither of them was really paying attention to, especially since hands were roaming around clothes, skin was turning rosy and eyes were blissfully closed.

Derek didn’t mind the autumn’s weather, cloudy and melancholic and a t-shirt with a pair of sweatpants were enough for him given the fact the loft surprisingly didn’t go down one degree despite the cold breeze outside; on the other hand, it wasn’t warm enough for Stiles, who decided to wear a stolen sweater with thumbholes, which he discovered they both loved, with some shorts covering only his thighs.

Stiles’ hands were all over Derek’s back, who was sitting on his lap with both hands caging the other's head. From where he was with his back against the armrest of the couch with the other on top of him, the boy was sitting with loose crossed legs beneath the wolf, seemingly offering his high knees as support for the other’s back.

Lips were crashing in kisses, messy and sloppy but they liked it better that way. Derek’s arms hung softly from the boy’s shoulders, switching from holding his head to resting his hold and enjoying his boyfriend’s touch; Stiles always made sure the wolf wasn’t uncomfortable with anything that was going on.

Derek’s eyes were closed, the only presence he could sense was Stiles, his scent was all over the place and he wouldn't want it any other way. Then he spoke, as his usual, whenever something was going on whether it might have been during the few seconds after being awake to before falling asleep or in between kisses.

“What would you say if I put something more on the table?”

It wasn’t so new to hear such things after dating for many months, the wolf had already found out about the other saying ‘the table’ wherever he was talking about their relationship. ‘It sounds like you want another portion of food at dinner if you say it like that,’ but he had given up on it and by then Derek just went along with it. Without missing to give him one more kiss though.

“What is it, Stiles?” And he was ready to hear about any imaginable combination of possibilities Stiles could ever come up with, from the picnic in the Preserve to the late night road trips, or even the ceramic classes for couples; but he was wrong. What his boyfriend had to say was something more ‘couple related’.

Stiles stopped the kiss, wipes some saliva off his lips with a finger with his doe eyes never leaving Derek’s, whose face was starting to blush at the other’s doing. The wolf had found out his partner was extremely flirtatious but not in a way that would make Derek feel even remotely scared to stay with him; he couldn’t throw away his past like it never happened, it was too hard to be forgotten, but it didn't mind he had to live it in fear of it.

But he wasn’t used to being so wanted by someone that didn’t mean to harm him. He was still very shy and embarrassed by their lovely ways of being, even if he was starting to get the hang of it some time after each new thing Stiles offered and which they ultimately tried out.

So, Derek covered his face with one hand and tried to look away for a few seconds, leaving his free fingers to rest near his partner’s neck, his legs solid on the other’s lap as he was sort of anxious. But the second he heard Stiles’ soft giggles his eyes went back to his face. After he regained his composure, the little bit he needed anyway given the situation, he participated in the conversation too.

“So?” He simply asked in a hiding way.

Stiles placed a soft peck on his boyfriend’s cheek, who soon calmed down a bit and let both his hands cradle the boy’s neck, feeling his beating heart through his veins; the boy’s eyes were soft and Derek copied his same behavior, trying to be relaxed with him while the other suddenly left out his suggestion.

“Would you be comfortable taking the next step?”

The wolf froze a little not knowing what Stiles exactly meant by that, so he raised his brows in question and tried to not let his mind run too far, aware that the other would understand him without much words needed. Yet, he also spoke a little.

“Which is?”

Stiles caressed Derek’s thighs on their sides, from hip to knee, reassuring him as always since he noticed how tense had gotten while on top of him. He didn’t want him to feel scared anyhow especially after the few things he had found out about in the previous weeks.

Because in the time they have been together, Stiles learned how much Derek loved being petted and cared for ever since they had that conversation in the attic. ‘Never have I ever expected for things to turn out like this, but I bet you know how much I love it anyway,’ had been his way of showing the wolf how much he treasured him and he knew Derek would read it off his scent.

Also, he even learned with a bittersweet revelation that the ‘big bad wolf’ was intimidated by intimacy; he thought it was just at the beginning, like it was for everyone and that it would go away with time, but it turned out it was something deeper. And Stiles made it his goal to work with Derek through it and the other accepted his little mission, wanting to get better for them both.

Which was why Stiles always spoke with light words about intimacy, of any kind, and always let the other decide without pressuring him on performance or intensity.

“Chances are, we are gonna have fun with it and we’ll see how this will work out for us,” he said about the deal he was putting on the table and it was enough to convince a slightly scared wolf to agree. Especially since neither of them wanted to break up over one’s preferences on intimate matters or how slow it was going to get them anywhere.

Hands didn’t leave tensed legs and Stiles spoke with caution. “What if we take the kiss to the next level?” And he stuck out his tongue a little, somehow making it a little clue of what he was talking about. Stiles always put things on the lighter side so the other wouldn’t feel pressured in any way.

They’ve come a long way since they started dating; Stiles always noticed it whenever he thought the wolf might be fine with ‘the next step’.

Derek grew more comfortable with Stiles each day, not that he wasn’t before as well. Yet, since they spent most of their time in the loft and alone, they got more touchy with one another and somehow the boy always knew where not to push and the wolf was glad for it, especially because he could trust his boyfriend to make the right call almost every time.

Those times he didn’t, it was a very small thing that they would move on from quickly enough.

Still, Derek pondered Stiles’ current offer.

He always did whenever he wanted to ‘add more to the table’, whether it was about something big or small; no matter how long he would be thinking about it, the other gave him all the time he needed. Patience somehow ran through Stiles’ veins like honey, it seemed crazy to the wolf that a spaz to be so calm.

‘But give it a try before being judgy, right?’ Derek always told himself after that dinner they had with Cora.

And whenever Derek decided he wanted to give it a try, Stiles would always let him make the first move. Whenever he didn’t want to, whether he would say it or not, Stiles would retrieve his offer and save for another time, while reassuring the wolf to take his time. It was working out just fine for them both, to lead such a calm journey.

Stiles never stopped caressing his thighs as his boyfriend was thinking about it, not even when the other had come to a conclusion with his arms dangling off the boy’s shoulder; they soon met eyes and Derek took his time with saying the only word he needed for the day.

“Slow?” Was the only thing Derek let out of his mouth, irises pleading softly to be taken into consideration and Stiles nodded gently, not even needing to read the look from the other.

“Slow.” The boy affirmed with a firm voice covered in care, both their hands always in touch with their partner’s skin.

The wolf’s head went closer to the other’s, hands moving to be back around his neck in slow motion, fingers feeling sweet and warm skin. Eyes switched from his boyfriend’s lips to his tender gaze, how it carried promises Derek could swim in without worrying about the depths of the water.

Soon after, lips went touching and a rushed breath parted them for the last time; the kiss started slow and calmly, nothing from the sloppiness of early, just a tender adventure. Hands never leaving Derek’s strong muscles to be pinched by the cold absence of his touch, Stiles let him take the lead, just like he promised he would.

He started simple, holding Stiles’ face with one hand on his cheek, anchoring himself to him and letting the other be punched by the heartbeat within his veins beneath the skin of his pale neck. Eyes never fully closed, he didn’t let his mind wonder about anything else.

Scooping closer to his chest, Stiles never retrieved his fingers from the flexing muscles of the other’s thighs, making small dunes around his fingertips as he pushed into his flesh, just to remind them both they were there; kissing with warm lips and searching hands, Derek took the first step.

Stiles’ touch was really a sensation that could lead him in the dark.

Slowly, his tongue made his way through the other's lips. Stiles welcomed him home just like he always did every time the other would be in need of one. Hands never leaving their assigned place, either feeling warm blood being pumped or the tender dance that fingertips made on skin, Derek's heart felt a type of ache he still couldn't give a name to.

Like the water hitting the surface of a lake while falling from the Everglades, his heart sank in blissfulness at the little dance of pulled strings his chest was playing on him.

The feelings and sensation he was experiencing were all good, nothing compared to anything anybody else had ever made him feel; Stiles was really going so slow for him, but somehow something else could still get the best of him.

Tongues were slowly and cautiously exploring each other, while Derek felt Stiles and his soft maneuvering on his legs and heart, letting the water in his being swallow him, but the fall was quickly stopped as his heart sank some more.

Control was slipping through the cracks of his heart, turning into something that craved more, demanded of him something he couldn’t bear to get and he didn't want to fall deeper in the unknown without having a way out.

He pulled back instinctively, not with fear nor pain, just with a disappointed expression on his face for the things he couldn’t put in place within himself and Stiles knew, as he read that gaze a thousand times, it wasn't because of himself.

“Derek, it's okay, you did good and enough as it is.” Reassuring Derek had become a second nature to Stiles and he didn't mind it at all. Having Derek Hale all for himself surely meant having to work through his past and the boy signed for the whole packager.

And before the wolf could spiral into the depths of his mind, beating himself and hiding behind thin walls and old habits despite he always tried not to, Stiles took his hand that was holding his cheek from the second they started and kissed his palm, gently and with the tenderness he knew Derek needed.

It took him a long moment to come back from his thoughts thanks to the everlasting presence of Stiles’ care; Derek's eyes weren't teary but his heart was and it wasn't a sight his partner was new to.

It took him some more to lock eyes with the boy, who always kept his hand in his and caressed the back of it with a loving thumb. Words came out a few moments later, when Derek didn’t feel like he might dissolve beneath the other’s doings if he spoke.

“Can we… Take it slower?”

His eyes fell and lost the other’s stare, not looking anywhere in particular and just falling left to right, sometimes even staring on the lines of Stiles’ sweater. The boy spoke avoiding eye contact, but not leaving the wolf without a tender hand as anchor; he knew Derek would listen.

“Yes. Of course we can, baby.”

Stiles had started calling Derek with pet names since the day it slipped through his lips and the wolf melted on top of him. It came out his lips every single time they were together and Derek let him do it; it gave him some kind of reassurance that the past was just the past and he couldn’t really understand why that was.

Just like once, while they were watching some old film, Stiles was too focused on petting Derek's head, fingers combing his hair that he didn't notice when the word kept falling from his lips without a stop. And Derek didn't say anything, just smiled at his name being forgotten in exchange for something sweeter. He just went to kiss him when the film was over, ‘the things you do to me’ was exactly what the kiss meant.

Derek in fact melted at being called with such a lovely name and laid on top of Stiles after they kissed a bit more that same evening, after his boy ran his hands on his thighs for minutes just to calm him down, while his knees were still bent by the younger's sides when he finally copied the boy’s position and fell flat on him.

Nothing could ever disrupt his lover, somehow he was clueless while in love and it fit Stiles just well.

Just like that, they spent the rest of the evening tangled together on the couch, with Derek melted on top of Stiles while his hands drew shapes on the wolf's back and caressed his head. Whenever something happened, big or small, they would cuddle as much as needed to be back together.

Maybe staying close to one’s love could put back together fragile pieces of one's heart.

And since Stiles had always been so kind to Derek, the wolf started to think of a way to pay him back. He wanted to make a surprise for his boyfriend but nothing really came to his mind and just like that more time went on than he expected. From days to weeks, almost a month has passed, which became more than just one and yet his mind kept wondering about making Stiles happy.

In the time his mind went exploring different paths, more than any amount he has ever thought about in one go, he still managed to do hundreds of things for and with Stiles. He got closer to his dad with the excuse he wanted to help him with work, whenever the supernatural was involved and not coming as a surprise, it was basically in every case the old man had to work on.

But it wasn’t enough, Derek wanted to do something more for Stiles. His planning for something didn’t take him far as nothing really fitted in his heart, something was already shaped to be done but he didn’t know what it was yet.

But along with setting things, they also had random conversations, mostly initiated by and for Stiles’ amusement while Derek had his fair slice of quiet entertainment. Like any other time, whether they might’ve been in bed or on the couch, in the attic or at the kitchen table or perhaps even sitting on the ground, they were back to talking about one of Stiles’ favorites subjects: werewolves’ culture and any other stuff he could manage to fish out the internet.

During one particular morning, while in bed with the sun illuminating Derek’s eyes and Stiles rambling about his new find of the day, he kept asking questions to a just awakened wolf.

Laid on his side, the wolf was staring at his partner like a poet looking at his work, amazed by his pleasant discovery among the pain of one’s life. His eyes were in front of the light, cutting through thin curtains, Stiles monopolized his field of view and Derek didn’t mind. Sitting with his back against the backrest of the bed, one leg bent below the other, his laptop on his lap.

While still in their comfy clothes, Stiles had his usual shirt and boxers and Derek went with the same but sweatpants were more his thing. The younger was already dumping on the other an insane amount of questions, in which he couldn't help but kept reminding Derek he was a wolf, like he could forget about it somehow.

“And I also found this, maybe not the most believable source I could find it on but anyway. This says ‘wolves - such as yourself, if I may - are born with a designated partner, called Mate, who they have to find and win their love to be able to claim them.’ The article goes on with how it can be both a human or a shapeshifter and how the mating is done, but I can guess you don't wanna hear about that part, do you?”

Derek had a small smile on his lips, hidden in his pillow. Something in his chest pulled every string in his body, as if it wanted to tell him something and his mind started to wonder, but he kept it quiet and simply joined the conversation.

“What about them? And yes, I don’t want to know about that part, thank you.” Stiles was already putting the laptop away the second he heard his voice, laying on his stomach beside the wolf, swinging his legs up in the air like any teenage girl in a movie would do. His head supported by his hands, fists under his chin, elbows on the mattress.

“Are they real? I mean, is this whole ‘mate’ thing a deal or just another fairy tale from the stone age?” His eyes were curious just like a kid’s face in front of something new to him. Something he wanted to know more about. He waited for Derek to say something, looking at him as the sun was being covered by some clouds, a little shadow was casted on half his face.

Half a mask was gone.

‘It could be you…’ his mind trailed off, but he got back on track.

“My mother told me about them, how rare it is to happen since many don’t even know about this and also how hard it is to find your mate. Especially not looking for them, not knowing they exist, not knowing you could actually find them…”

His voice fell one tone but Stiles knew why, the question itself wasn’t a problem, but bringing up his mother was something Derek didn’t do so often. Stiles laid his head down on the pillow, one hard went over the wolf’s chest, right above his heart to show his appreciation and to share a little message.

‘Thank you for trusting me, but I'm sure if I say this, you won’t go on much… I’ll keep this between us, I promise.’ He didn’t need to say it, Derek could read it all in his scent. If Stiles could read him like an open book everyone could calmly look at, Derek did the same, finding in his scent all the things he needed to know about.

His eyes could read everything as well though, because the boy never hid his feelings through a facade the wolf couldn’t breach through.

A sight to behold, that was how he viewed the boy in that moment, as he laid out for him all the thoughts and emotions that were going through his heart and mind, not taking away a thing from the wolf.

Stiles looked so peaceful in his eyes and Derek wondered about all the things he didn’t catch in the boy’s scent, but he couldn’t worry much about it since the hand on his chest started making soft shapes above his covered skin, making him feel just fine with the lack of information.

But was it really a lack of knowledge what he was currently worrying about?

Maybe, it wasn’t about all the things from the past that he didn’t catch about Stiles, maybe it was something different and more centered in the future; there could be a way in which he could be searching for the reason why the boy felt like home, why he felt like he belonged to his side.

Could it really be that out of everyone in the whole world, for once, he got lucky with it?

‘What if it’s you?’

Derek held Stiles’ hand on his chest and went on talking, pushing the thought away and staring in his boy’s loving irises. “It’s said you never really know you’ve found your mate until they see the deepest, rotten and vulnerable part of you and decide to love you anyway. It’s something quite common in poetry I think, but it’s different from wolves…”

He wanted Stiles to know everything about it, like he was explaining some sort of points in a bullet list that would have to be completed to reach the final goal, whatever it might be. But his mind kept throwing rocks at him.

‘Out of everyone…’

His eyes never stopped shielding his mind from the world as he pondered and spoke at the same time.

“To show someone that part of yourself is like giving them all the cards of the game and letting them win, with you or against you. You show them your weaknesses and share your past, your soft and weak spots…”

Maybe there was a reason, maybe he even knew it.

‘Could it be you?’

Still, he kept speaking in the present moment and let the future hold on line for him.

“Someone once told me: ‘to find your love, you gotta be willing to sacrifice your pride and your strengths. You gotta be willing to be you in front of them, naked as you are and let them see you for who you are.’ You let them in, you trust them and take it into account that they could betray you. It’s a sacrifice not many are willing to take.”

It was indeed a great deed, one many gave up on and one many failed at, but could he succeed even with the possibility of facing betrayal again?

‘I don’t think you’d do that…’ His eyes looked at Stiles like nothing else was worth staring at as he thought those words.

Neither of them said anything after that, while Stiles slid over Derek’s chest and laid his head near his heart. The wolf felt like every worry in his existence might be washed away by the sweet boy that was currently listening to his beating heart; heart he had to control not to skip a beat.

At peace and at home, silence took over but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. “Thanks for letting me in on that, Derek. Promise it’ll stay between us,” as the words left his throat, both their minds went around the room, wondering different things but all about the other person in the room.

‘We should have breakfast, it’ll make him happy. A good start for the day, we’re gonna watch all the crappy telenovelas on the TV while we cuddle.’ Stiles looked at the other in the eyes, ‘you’d like that, wouldn't you?’

‘I think I finally know what to do that would make you happy… And we’re going today,’ Derek met his eyes. ‘Prepare yourself for tonight, we’ll spend some hours somewhere else.’

Stiles came back to life shortly after, legs shooting in the air and arms holding him upright. “Let’s have breakfast in bed, a good start for a good day, don’t you think?” He was all smiley and persuasive eyes. How could Derek not agree to such an offer? Especially while he had one in his pockets to serve later.

So, the wolf volunteered to be the one doing breakfast and then bring it upstairs, all the while Stiles chanted how he did when they were in the attic for the first time. “And you said you weren’t going to do it so often, liar” but the smile on his lips gave him away.

Battling with himself to break eye contact with Stiles, a very pretty and sweet Stiles who laid on his bed, he finally managed to go to the kitchen a few minutes later. Not much time had passed before he was right back in his bedroom, Stiles waiting for him with open arms.

“Gimme that, come on!”

Making grabby hands at the wolf, he caved in and served breakfast in bed one more time as the boy thought about how they were going to spend their day. All the while thinking the same thing, Derek’s mind couldn't stop planning it like his life depended on it.

‘I’m willing to make that sacrifice for you… Not that I haven’t already, but I think a date would fit the topic better.’

Chapter Text

From that night Derek thought about the date, it didn’t pass too long.

The current day had passed just how Stiles had envisioned it.

Telenovelas and cuddles were the only activity they did for the majority of their time together, all the while some kisses were stolen and skin was being explored a bit more than usual. But nothing too much for either of them.

Both laid on the couch watching TV, the wolf was slightly on top of the other with one arm and leg. Stiles was contemplating the ceiling while one of his hands was making spirals on Derek’s shoulders. In their comfy, bed-time clothes, they were spending some time together just existing.

When the sun was beginning to settle down, descending upon the horizon, Derek spoke in the mess of Stiles’ hair from where his face was turned towards the other’s head, his words arriving muffled to the other’s ears.

“You should start getting ready, we got a place to go to.”

It was unexpected and totally out of the blue. In fact, Stiles furrowed his eyebrows since he didn’t see anything like that coming his way, but his mind got started rather quickly even if he just expressed his confusion. “What?” Wasn’t meant as anything more than a need for more information to understand what was going on, at which the wolf obliged.

Derek stood on his arms half on top of Stiles, one arm by each of his sides. Looking down in his eyes, the wolf saw amusement and questions in deep amber eyes, nothing out of the ordinary for the other to have on his face. “We are going out, go get ready. And wear something warm, got it?”

Stiles’ face twisted in a mix of emotions, especially since his boyfriend didn’t share any details with him of what they would be doing and where, ‘but why would I ever not listen to you? Especially now that I got you’ and it was an easy road from there on.

He slided out from below the heavy wolf as he let him go, walking the steps to reach the bedroom before Stiles looked behind himself. “Aren’t you coming too?”

‘How did I even get in you in the first place?’ But before the other could read him, he pushed the thought in the deepest part of his mind, knowing Stiles would beat him up if he even began questioning his own worth since Stiles once told him just that. ‘You doubt your worth, I’ll make you doubt my skinny arms.’ And that was the end of it.

He stood up as well, almost sleepy so and with a wide smile of content, all teeth and a rosy shade on his cheeks, he started to walk towards Stiles while keeping his stare on him.

Stiles didn’t even wait for him and took the stairs two at the time, trying to get Derek to speed up behind him but the wolf didn’t, he’d rather enjoy the view from the bottom of the stairs or the first few steps, looking at the top. Stiles, all happy and oblivious about what was about to come, had his arms crossed and a silly, serious expression on his face.

“Are you gonna speed up or not, you oldy?”

Raising his brows in amusement and with a ‘are you serious’ manner, Derek took one step at the time, just like any 70yo granny would after a surgery. “You asked for it” and Stiles just let his arms fall by his sides, disbelief painted all over his face. His eyes sappy and half closed to hide it, ‘get your ass up here and let’s get this going.’

But when the wolf didn’t even try to go any faster, Stiles hopped down a few steps and held Derek’s hand, “Come on, I ain’t got time to wait on you taking these stairs.” Pulling the man behind himself, Stiles managed to get them in the bedroom, urging Derek to change clothes or do whatever he needed to do. “Move. I ain’t waiting a second more.”

Never in his life, Derek had ever thought changing clothes could take so long, especially when the boy was the one who told him to speed up while he couldn’t even decide what to wear. And Derek was more than amused by all of it.

Stiles running left and right, stealing clothes, trying them on and deciding otherwise of them, couldn't choose a single garment for the life of him. Until finally, a mid-heavy navy blue sweater with thumbholes appeared out of Derek’s closet and he fell in love with it. Along with the fourth pair of jeans he had stolen so far during their relationship and which the wolf often wondered about.

‘Where do you keep my jeans anyway? It’s not like they fit you, they always fall off your waist and you walk over the hem… Well, no hope in getting them back right?

And it’s not even like you look bad wearing them…’

After around forty minutes they were able to get back in the living room, Derek with his usual jeans and shirt, along with a leather jacket for the cold ahead and Stiles with his stolen clothes. ‘You don’t mind, do you?... I bet you like me wearing your clothes’ and as always, Derek gave him the answer he needed, longing and caring eyes staring back in his own.

Stiles lowered his own gaze to the ground. “You could just say that, you know?” He said with a low voice, covering his mouth with one hand that muffled the words. Sometimes he was the one who got shy over random things.

“You mean the fact that I love seeing you wearing my clothes? Because I do.”

Stiles hid his face a little more in the palm of his hand, standing right next to Derek who was looking at him like any wolf would look at the full moon on any other night, but always with the same longing, pleading and admiring eyes.

“Did you get flirty over night?” And Derek just took the hand that was covering his face and kissed the back of it. “I just started, but you’ll always talk more than me no matter what I say.” It sounded sad for a moment, but Stiles saw right through it. “Guess I’ll talk for us both, mh?” And that was just to fill the silence even if neither of them minded it.

Keeping hold of his hand, Derek walked to the door, with Stiles following suit close to his side. They went down the stairs in a calming silence, the wolf could hear the other’s heartbeat matching each step on the stairs till they arrived at the parking lot. Stiles’ scent was calm and warm to his senses as they stepped into the Camaro, where it hit him a bit more harshly in the little space of the car.

“You aren't gonna tell me anything about what we're going to do?”

Stiles’ voice arrived to Derek's ears like something completely new, something he had never heard or perhaps forgotten in the short span of a few minutes. The wolf was looking at him like he had just breached through some security line of his mind, but his eyes weren't blaming him for anything, more so they were offering what he later said.

“No, it'll be a surprise. And if I tell you anything about it, it won't be a surprise anymore.”

Derek kept his hands on the steering wheel and started the car, looking through the windshield. Stiles just accepted to play the game, adjusted the seatbelt and got comfortable for the ride.

Out the parking lot and into the road, soft music played from the central console and it eased Derek's nervousness. ‘Please don't end this in a mess, please just this once’ and it was starting to show on his face. Eyes wide open and hands flinching where they were, Stiles ended up noticing it.

“Don't be nervous, it's just us and I'm gonna love whatever it’s waiting for us.”

His utter care for Derek always managed to shock the wolf, amazed at how somehow Stiles always knew about his concerns without him even saying anything about it. Engine revving at a red light, the wolf briefly looked over his partner, who caught the movement and took a chance to set a peaceful, calm mood, mostly for the other’s wellness.

Undoing his seatbelt within a second, a hand for leverage near the shifting stick, his free hand went below the wolf’s chin, a few fingers guiding his head to turn towards him. His head was then close to Derek’s, whose instinct directed a palm to go on Stiles’ knee, shifting his stare between the boy’s lips and eyes.

“What are you doing?” Asked the wolf, calmer than before thanks to the proximity with his boyfriend.

“I think you know that well… Maybe even smell it in my scent,” Stiles’ response was quiet and gentle, “and I know about you sniffing me, I’m not a fool who forgets about things” he even added a few seconds later, gaining a laugh from the other. The laughing mood didn’t last long but it wasn’t a bitter goodbye, something better was about to come anyway.

Letting the sniffing part out the conversation, Derek leaned closer to Stiles and they both went in for the kiss. “I guess you were right, I knew what you were up to.”

But the moment their lips touched, the world barged in.

The light turned green and a lonely car behind them didn’t give them a second before going for the horn. “Fine, fine, we’ll kiss more later I guess” mockingly debated Stiles as he went back in his seat, talking to the car behind as if it could hear him argue. Derek cracked another laugh and the car went on moving.

They didn’t talk much for the rest of the ride, just Stiles occasionally singing along some lyrics a few times and Derek humming along. About a quarter hour later, the parking lot of the Preserve looked empty and waiting for them to pick a spot.

No one was there and Stiles didn’t know if it would’ve been a good or bad sign if they were investigating some supernatural thing, but that night wasn’t the case; especially since it was only the two of them and no one was hunting them down.

Monotones silhouettes of greenery occupied his view, overpowered by the dim, pale moonlight making the weight of mother nature’s power visible to the naked eye, such as his; Stiles didn’t move while Derek did, maybe feeling at home in a place such as that.

He followed soon after, when he could gather some courage to go into the woods. He wasn’t really fond of such a setting, but if his boyfriend was fine with them, he would be able to do the same.

Stepping out the car, the boy looked around himself wondering ‘what are we doing here anyway?’ But he didn’t mind not having an answer; by the time he finished thinking about the motives behind the trip to the Preserve, Derek was already by his side, motioning for him to walk by his side with a hand behind the boy’s lower back.

“Let’s go, it won’t take long” and just like that they went off in the woods, side by side with no words spoken; there wasn’t a need for them anyway while dry leaves squealed beneath their steps and wild animals welcomed their arrival.

The first few feet into the forest were the easiest to his human senses, with the trees allowing some light to pass and nothing too creepy going on around them; there was no breeze in the wall made of branches and leaves, neither was a guidance other than Derek’s to lead his way.

Looking around, Stiles wasn’t completely aware of where they were headed despite the fact he had been in those woods more times than not, face looking confused and disoriented with frantic eyes. Derek noticed it even before any kind of worry could be born in his boyfriend’s mind and took his hand in order to speak little words in the shell of his ear.

“I won’t lose you in the woods, remember I lived among these same trees for most of my life.”

With that, Stiles’ mind was at ease. ‘I don’t mind switching roles every once in a while, the reassuring party can be hosted by both when needed.’

He rested his head on the wolf’s shoulder as they walked and for a little while he didn’t even notice his eyes had fallen close, his legs simply following Derek's guidance without a doubt.

Not knowing how much time had passed, when he felt a pat on the nape of his neck he opened his eyes; nothing in his mind prepared him for what he was looking at.

Falling wood pieces and shattered glass, shards of it were on a naked and empty front porch while windows lost their purpose in the middle of the cemetery of glass. Old, hanging by a nail, were the planks of wood that made the building, which was more of a morgue than anything else, for various reasons. Front door missing, no use for it as no one would ever step in, invited or not, the smell of death and fear was pushing everything away.

Two stories high and holes in walls, some were part of its roof; the house stood with something resembling pride. Not falling to the ground and keeping up, despite the scars and burns it had endured since it was built. The space around its perimeter was empty, as if nothing wanted to grow in the soil near such a tragedy.

Decay was the view before his eyes, woods and glass and nothing more, from shards to chips, woods and rusty nails. A tragedy all around: the Hale house.

And the owner was next by his side.

Stiles looked from Derek to the house and back again, not knowing what to expect as the other kept his gaze on the fallen house.

“I think you know what this is… My old house, what’s left of it anyway…”

A sad but mindful tone filled the cold air, his eyes weren’t as hurt as Stiles expected them to be, neither was his manner, still soft and kind towards him, no limbs tensed in a freeze. ‘What could this ever mean to you now? After all that happened?’ No answer could ever be believable if he came up with it himself, so asking was the only option.

“I know I should shut up and let you handle this however you planned on doing and telling me what this is all about, but I gotta ask you this… what does this house mean to you?”

It didn’t take him off guard as Stiles kind of expected; maybe Derek hid more than what he knew from the other, or maybe their moment together in the woods was more than just a little trip on the field.

“Maybe it’s not the most romantic idea ever, but this is me taking you on a date. Certainly not the best place ever just like I said, but I thought it would be nice to give you something after all you’ve given me.” His brows high in affirmation, somehow Stiles felt like backing down, to lay low close to the ground and shield himself. It wasn’t a trap but a deal in the making, ‘a sweet and strong deal, that much I can get.’

“Maybe not the usual restaurant, but surely something amazing for us. I mean, I don’t think you ever brought anyone else here if not me now, so I guess this is a special place if you picked it as our first date.” Derek nodded silently, eyes switching from Stiles to the house and staying there. Then, he spoke again.

“It might be run down and falling apart, but after my family died I had only this place. I could’ve brought the loft in a second and left this place behind but I didn’t…” His eyes didn’t leave the house; it seemed to be incubated into a ball of glass, with a veil of light randomly hitting various parts of the structure, it sure was a haunted house to the unknowing eye.

Stiles kept his stare on Derek while he let the house creep into the corner of his view, looking at how beautifully the night portrayed his lover.

But he didn’t have much time to admire how the white cast embedded soft edges and sharp corners into the wolf’s side profile, or how his stoic manner contrasted with how soft and candid his heart really was, how it showed through his jumping irises and rosy cheeks in the cold; he didn’t have time to focus only on that.

Because while he was caught, Derek slowly started to walk towards the decrepit house, almost as an instinct he couldn’t control or hold back any longer. He gently pulled Stiles along, hooking the boy’s index finger with his own while he let his hand slide away from his body and fall between them, catching the only fish in the pond without any bait, like it was waiting to be caught.

Walking calmly with no rush, more words flew between them, “around this house is where I first met you if you don’t count the night at the police station years prior to that. You and Scott doing little detectives and him getting bitten… Well, this was my home, the wolf’s den as you’d call it, and you always managed to lure me out of it…”

Derek made Stiles sit on the front porch and he didn’t mind despite the little dirt on it, then the wolf sat next to him, wrapping one arm around his waist to pull him closer. “You lured me out of here more than just a few times and each time you saved me or the other way around; remember the pool with the kanima?”

Stiles laughed slightly at the memory, “I do, I remember your ‘I’m paralyzed from the neck down in 8 feet of water’ very well.” Derek laughed at the thought, not even offended as Stiles would’ve expected him to be just less than a year prior to their date night.

“Yeah… You’ve always been there for me, whether I liked it or not, you never left me; you fought to stay by my side while I tried to push you away and failed. You were somehow loyal to me from the beginning and it took me a while to figure it out.” Green irises landed on Stiles’ big puppy eyes, he knew Derek was circling around something but he didn’t mind some praise in the meantime.

“And even when Erica and Boyd died… You stayed by my side making all of this start and I don’t want it to end for anything in this world… I don’t want anyone else to have you, not now, not ever…”

Stiles swore that for a second the reflection of the night into the wolf’s eyes made them look red, but he could’ve been wrong about it; after all, with the dim spell of the moon, he couldn’t really see almost anything at all past the first row of trees, yet he was sure that those eyes had something sparkling in them.

“A little possessive I see, I like that, thought you were gonna share me with the pack.” He silly said later on, when an opaque cloud obscured the moon and stole even more light.

Derek growled deep in his throat, fingers dipping softly in flesh and Stiles heard it right away, ‘never threaten a wolf’s territory, right? Said like that sounds very objectifying on my behalf… ‘ but the brief thought went away.

“Never, even if you dare to ask.” His eyes then met the boy’s and flashed a warning red, an empty threat which Stiles could tell right away even without a significant amount of eyesight.

“I’d never ask such a thing, especially when I have you” and he kissed his cheek gently without hesitation, a soft reminder of who Stiles really wanted. ‘I know you’d never ask me to do it, but I’ll show off how much I like staying with you anyway’ but the thought was replaced by more words.

“So, are you gonna go on praising me for luring the wolf out of his den?”

Derek just averted his gaze once more, seemingly scanning the area around them for possible threats; Stiles just patiently waited by his side as if he had done so just as many times before. Neither minded when a few seconds of silence passed before the wolf spoke.

“I think I’ll do better than that,” he kept his eyes on the view of the front porch, but as he took a brief breath to gather enough courage to talk to him about what they were there for, his mind went against him, making him question his actions; it was so quick and small that he couldn’t even feel it coming.

‘What if he doesn’t want this?’

His eyes slowly found their way back to the ocean of reassuring words that Stiles held in his eyes and he swam in there, reading something out of his sight as the boy never looked anywhere else if not into his own set of eyes; he didn’t say anything much after that, but the other was patient.

“Take your time.”

The words were soft and low, pliant as to show it was not a complaint of any kind, just a kindly offer that indicated Stiles’ patience was not going to wear thin even if they stayed there all night long; Derek still didn’t know how to untangle the incomprehensible thoughts his mind was forming.

Losing the confidence he somehow managed to have during the beginning of their date, his eyes searched the ground and his leg started to tap the solid beneath nervously. The arm around Stiles was beginning to fall and hit the wood of the porch, his hand was slipping from Stiles’ waist like it had no life in it.

But he wasn’t so short on life-fuel.

By his side, Stiles turned to face him. He was met with a stone cold gaze staring into the ground, like there was nothing better to look at. Seemingly, in his mind crossed the image of Boyd’s death, a lifeless body hanging to dry, blood draining from cuts and holes letting it all out, it looked like a fainted photo on Derek, one taking the appearance of the other; death was all the same on both of Boyd and…

“You can tell me.”

Derek’s eyes snapped into Stiles’ own, not really understanding what was going on or what he was referring to, “what?” He tried to say with a confused face, eyes locked together. Stiles didn’t say anything for a cold second, the air around them somehow punching the air out their lungs.

Taking a deep breath, one among the many he had taken secretly while the wolf spoke, Stiles regained a bit of his composure and explained what he meant as he placed both hands on Derek’s face, somehow cupping it. Rubbing his thumbs on his cheeks in unison.

“You can tell me, whatever you’re thinking about, I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is. You don’t have to worry about it…”

Green eyes fell back to the ground but Stiles didn't let it happen; picking his chin with his fingers he pulled it up, locking his eyes back with Derek’s. Switching from his eyes to his lips, Stiles gently placed a kiss on his forehead much to the wolf’s surprise, but he appreciated it more than he thought. Needing it more than a kiss on the lips.

Stiles could see millions of thoughts raging left to right in his mind through the wolf’s eyes; he waited for him to say something, to let out even one of those thoughts to share it with the other.

Derek didn’t say anything for a few minutes but Stiles didn’t lose hope in him. He knew time was key.

“Just… I just wanted to tell you about… Us. Just how much you mean to me and how I never want you to go away and…” But as quick as it was, it fell back in silence in less than a second.

Starting to get worried about the wolf, Stiles moved his whole body to face him, offering a hug; with open arms, he waited until Derek slowly let himself go in his embrace, not facing him but simply leaning his side on Stiles, head on his chest listening. ‘Reassuring… Calm…’ Popped in the wolf’s head and he simply let the words be in his mind.

Stiles was then with one leg half crossed beneath himself, petting the other’s head in soothing motions just like they both liked it. But it wasn’t so easy for either of them to live that moment. Derek wanted to talk but was too afraid to speak, while Stiles wanted to ask but was afraid to push him.

And as time went on and the woods were painted in a darker tone, with the moon hiding behind clouds and slowly deciding where to go for the night; Stiles decided to give it a small try while he kept his fingers combing the wolf’s hair, offering a little encouragement and nothing more.

“Hey Derek…” And the wolf slowly looked up to him, searching and finding his eyes in the dark that was coming on them. Little red rings were a little signal for Stiles, ‘I’ve got my eyes on you.’

“You know you can tell me anything right?” And he nodded a little in Stiles’ chest.

“Good, so… What’s wrong?”

‘Nothing’s wrong, how could it ever be when it’s about you? I’m just…’

“Just scared to say it, I guess.” Was the start of a little confession that was beginning to fall from Derek’s closed off mind.

Stiles didn’t add anything, waiting was his answer and he’d wait for as long as needed, ‘it’s not like I have not been waiting for you all these years, I can wait a bit more for ya.' And with that, he simply ran his other hand on the other’s back, reassuring as always.

“Remember when we talked about mates?” Derek simply asked out of the blue, not looking at Stiles anymore but still knowing he was listening. “Yeah, I found it online, and you told me a bit about it” was the answer the wolf received.

With a lung-full of Stiles’ scent in his body, he spoke in tender and slow tunes, trying to convey what he wanted to share with his dear boyfriend.

“It’s almost become just a tale now since it hasn’t happened in over decades. It's so rare that a wolf never even hears about this or doesn’t even care, like they don’t need to find ‘the one’ you don’t wanna give up on. But from what I've heard, sometimes it happens when you least expect it, sometimes you just need to open your eyes and see.”

He let his earring focus on Stiles’ heartbeat, on his soft fingers taking care of his nervous body; it was soothing to have someone willing to do even the smallest thing for you.

“My mother used to tell me stories about some couples she knew about that were mates; she always said it’s like finding your other half and being complete, it heals you and makes you feel like you find your place in the world.”

Red rings were then staring at Stiles, ‘what do you say?’ Was the unspoken question held within the gaze, which Stiles never wanted to lose sight of. “Can I ask some questions about it?” He said back, just wanting to be sure and the wolf nodded to him. He knew a bunch of things were about to be thrown at him.

“How does it happen?” Was the first thing he asked.

Pondering how to say it, he opted for the direct way. “You… bite, here” and Derek placed two fingers on the juncture between his own neck and shoulder. Stiles did the same and the other’s, with fingertips in the same place, nodded understanding. Then he went for the second round.

“Does it have to do anything with the full moon? Like it’s seasonal or something?”

Derek almost cracked up laughing for a second, Stiles noticed and smiled at him, glad he was in a better mood. “I can tell this is a serious matter to you, and so it is to me. I’m glad you can laugh while talking about it though.”

Neither of them moved their fingers, a softly spoken half promise Stiles was trying to seal. But something else was in for the third turn as he placed a feathered kiss where Derek kept covering that spot near his neck. But then he spoke again, retrieving his lips while they both let their hands fall back.

“Does it have anything to do with the whole omega, beta and alpha thing? Like does it change something based on which one you are?”

Stiles could tell the other was beginning to tense under his touch; his arms all around him and gentle eyes went to the rescue, a soft whisper in the other’s ear. “You don’t have to tell me all about it unless you’re ready or want to.”

Air filled his lungs and words floated out of him like a river, wanting to tell Stiles but not having the heart to face the underline within it. Pushing far memories back from where they came from, searching for a way to say it that wouldn’t break him to pieces.

“Yes, it does change… It’s the circumstances around it… That changes how it’s… done.” It was the only truth he could share and one Stiles could live with, especially since he could tell there was something more to it, but ‘it’s not time to dig deeper’ was the right answer.

Somehow, they were both glad they didn’t go over that part when Stiles brought up the subject in the first place, while they were in bed that one morning…

The boy held Derek to his chest, reassuring him he wouldn’t bury him under questions about it with small, slow lines being drawn on the wolf’s back. His fingers traced the passage of time as Stiles understood that one part about being mates was going to make its appearance far in the future, but he didn’t mind at all.

The night went even more on with its routine; the moon was cutting stripes across trees, pale light hitting the ground beneath their eyes. They ended up staying just like they were, with Derek melted in Stiles’ chest as the wolf breathed him in while his boyfriend drew shapes on muscles, going from tense to relaxed, and in the switch the boy took pride in being able to untangle the wolf’s mind and body with just his fingertips.

In his mind, as he read the moon’s light on the ground, another question popped in. And just as they both knew, he couldn’t keep it in. “The mates, do they have to be of… The same species?” He felt like walking on eggs, sharing a tentative question, holding hopes that his assumption was right and that maybe the other knew the answer.

Derek’s eyes filled with love, like it would’ve happened in any other situation. Stiles asked him something remotely close to ‘are close can we be and still be alive?’ And looking back from his personal pillow, he locked eyes with his boyfriend. His…

‘There’s nothing that could convince me it's not meant to be you…’ His mind gave him a tip, but his words said it another way.

“My mother always said it doesn’t have to be between two wolves to be true…” Was enough to tear Stiles’ heart apart and back together and it took less than a blink. Feeling like he had gained something he didn’t even know he could have, his arms went tighter around the wolf, who hid from the world even more, almost digging in the boy’s chest.

Stiles stared in red rings for yet another time that same day, then one of his hands went caressing the wolf’s cheek, both moving closer, foreheads bumping together. Stiles leaned back and Derek leaned forward, both laying on the wooden porch, the wolf on top of the other, breathing in his scent that was calling for him to come home.

Doing nothing more than to breathe in one another, Stiles cupped the other’s face in his hands and Derek couldn’t resist him. Slowly, lips traveled closer to their destination and they kissed, savoring the moment the night offered them. Kiss after kiss, neither of them had time to breathe, hands were slowly roaming around silhouettes, gentleness floating through soft hands.

“Stiles…”

He tried to speak between huffs of breath, no air left in either of their lungs. Derek’s hands were holding Stiles’ waist, holding him lightly to the ground, aware the other’s knew he could break free with a few whispered words.

“...Yes?” Stiles responded, both his legs rested by each side of Derek’s body, giving him space to come closer to him whenever he liked.

Again, he kept quiet, but Stiles was there with him and that was enough to let him know he wasn’t going to leave him. He knew with his whole heart he wasn’t going to be left alone.

Stiles held him, wrapping his legs ever so slightly around the wolf’s hips and keeping his face between his palms. Eyes waiting, almost already knowing what Derek was about to say, but he could never know for sure with him. He didn’t want to steal the atmosphere of the moment.

“Stiles, will you be my mate?”

Stiles immediately placed his lips on Derek who jumped right back on him. “Yes. Yes, I want to!” He almost screamed in the night filling the woods around him; Derek kissed him again to shut him up. “Don’t scream!” Was blurred in a little laugh from the wolf’s rumbling throat, holding the boy closer to himself, pulling him with an arm below his waist to close the space between them.

“But…”

Derek pulled back as he spoke, almost scared Stiles might rip his throat out if he remained close. Yet, Stiles only had understanding in his eyes, waiting for the other to speak.

“Can we go slow?”

Letting his body melt in a more relaxed position, legs falling on the wood and hands circling the wolf’s neck, Stiles nodded with affection; always accepting Derek no matter what and he made sure he knew it, “yes, anything you want, we can do this when and how you want and I’ll love it either way… So, don’t worry about it, I got your back.” A little blink and a soft giggle later, those words eased the tension in Derek’s body.

Stiles could’ve sworn he’d never seen such a wonderful and bright smile on Derek’s face; if he had a camera in his pocket he would’ve taken a picture of him and framed it to put in the wolf’s bedroom back at the loft. Which got him thinking…

“Wait, if we are mates, even without the bite and stuff, does your bedroom become our bedroom?”

Eyes grew wider and he thought about it for a second, but it was clear to both of them that things were about to be so much more fun from there on, which is why there was no other answer than the one Derek had in mind.

“Yes, the loft, this house, my Camaro is all yours as well now” and Stiles wore the happiest smile the wolf had ever seen on him.

“Can I drive the Camaro back home then?” Excitement filled his tone and his voice was shaky with anticipation to get behind the wheel.

“Well, maybe not so soon and…” Derek looked around a little, Stiles wondering what he was about to say when words reached his ears. “We should sleep here tonight, the bedroom and bathroom are still in good shape.”

Amazed at such news, Stiles still decided to display his best pout, trying to seem offended for the Camaro; but Derek wiped it away in a kiss, letting some tongue get in their mouths, “so, this is how you plan on shutting me up every time I speak?” And Derek just kissed him again saying nothing at all, letting his tongue do all the talk for him.

“Oh so now you are putting this back on the table?” His words were muffled as Stiles had to fight the other to speak, the win was on in for the boy as the wolf stared into his eyes and for a slip second he saw a hint of red making his way back for the third time in a day. “Guess I am” he obliged and conveyed his attack.

“Fine, fine you win.” Stiles admitted his defeat and before he knew it Derek was already on his feet, pulling him along and into his arms. His hold went below the younger’s thighs, Stiles wrapped his arms around the wolf’s neck, making sure his legs were secured around the other’s hips.

“Are you gonna carry me to our bedroom?”

Derek just walked into the house, a small sigh left his lips along with, “I’m gonna regret this so soon.”

“We haven’t even started yet.” The boy bit back and they both cracked a laugh as they went up the stairs, Stiles hiding his face in the crock of the wolf’s neck.

“You know, I don’t really mind you carrying me around like this” was all he said as Derek just held him tighter, “I love it too…” and not much more words came between them that night.

Once in their new found room, Derek laid him on one side of the bed and took the other for himself, sliding under the covers and wishing each other ‘goodnight’.

The night was setting on their heads, limbs were tangled together, Stiles had Derek curled in his chest, almost hiding from the world and the boy seemingly made it his mission to give him all the love he always deserved.

Sleep was beginning to lure its way in their bodies, leading them to a good night's sleep until Derek spoke. His voice was stained with hope, as if it was drying his throat just to say it, like it took him every bit of energy in his body to acknowledge it.

“You’re my mate.”

It popped out of nowhere from his lips, falling in the air between them.

“Yes, I am. And you’re my mate as well.” Simply said Stiles, knowing it was enough for them.

As night came and left in the morning, they woke with a kiss and after deciding to go eat breakfast at a local cafe near the Preserve, Stiles convinced Derek to let him drive the Camaro all the way home, cafe included in the trip.

“Come on, let me drive. I’m a good driver and I can prove it.”

That and wrapping himself around Derek was enough to get the wolf to break. Derek gave him the keys and they left the old Hale house behind themselves.

Once home, Derek swore he’d never let him drive again.

Chapter Text

A few weeks have passed from their date in the woods. Derek’s Camaro was safe from Stiles’ hands in the parking lot of the loft and they were enjoying a quiet evening on the couch. Both having less interest in the show as time went on, Stiles couldn't take it anymore, he was getting bored out of his mind.

“So, correct me if I'm wrong but today's the full moon, right?” He asked it as if he wasn't afraid of the answer, while Derek was scared of where the response might be leading at. Not moving from where he was laid with Stiles spooning him, his head turned to catch the other's eyes.

Like when the ground collects the colors of the sunlight, stripes and blurred lines of any shade, Stiles’ eyes were reflecting the TV's screen. Lights and colors all in his irises, Derek wondered if Stiles could ever hold anything else in his eyes other than life.

Finding amber eyes, green ones wondered about their own luck to get someone like the boy wrapped around him. “Yes, it is the full moon.” He curled a little more in his mate's embrace, ever so slightly tugging at him to hold him tighter.

Stiles didn’t need to be told twice and his arms held Derek with meaning, showing the importance of the gesture; snuggling in the wolf's hair and breathing him in, Stiles felt the need to know something else as well. Something he scaled as ‘more important’.

“Do you want me to stay through it?”

Derek felt like he was on a firing gallow and his past was aiming at his chest, more precisely his heart. After he had almost always spent every full moon alone, he never thought about an opportunity like that could ever come along again. Feeling Stiles’ chest on his back, the wolf wondered whether he could ask him to stay or not, ‘do I deserve him? What’s going to happen if he stays?’

Eyes lost, unfocused and dazed, Derek’s mind kept shooting questions at him, at which he really didn’t want to pay any attention. He didn’t want to lose Stiles, he didn’t want to push him away after he was finally his mate. But his worries could be heard through his hesitant voice, strained in a line of breath.

“Yes… I want you to stay, but only if you are sure about it.”

He spoke without looking over his shoulder to meet his partner’s eyes. His words fell almost to the ground as they were quietly, softly mumbled while he hid his face in Stiles’ arm, which was under his neck to reach his chest. Yet, his mate was able to hear him, both his words and all the unsaid things that were mixed in it.

So, standing on his arms as leverage, the boy found the other’s face and moved closer to his eyes, foreheads bumping together. Stiles was half on top of him, their legs still tangled on the soft couch; staring into his eyes, which Stiles called to himself with a little huff through his nose, Derek seemed to melt beneath him.

“...What?” He asked, as something deep inside of him made him roll on his back, facing the other. He thought if, of all things, Stiles would accept him as he truly was, complete with the part of himself he had always tried to hide after Kate…

But he didn't have time to wonder much more, letting the hope go unsaid, leaving his mind but not his heart. His hands were tugging at the hem of the Stiles’ shirt, pulling him down, pleading to him to close the distance that separated them.

Stiles didn’t respond within the time Derek hoped he would, instead he kissed him gently on the forehead and the wolf was lost in confusion. “What?” He tried again, more softly, yearning for a little answer; Stiles obliged like he didn’t know any better than to do what he was asked.

“I just want to make sure you want me to stay, you can tell me ‘no’ if you want to be alone through it; I won’t push you to accept me staying, Derek.”

Those words spoke with such nonchalance, something of an every day routine, hit Derek’s ears like a wrecking ball would a building, eyes growing wider with realization…

‘You’d let me…’

“You would let me say ‘no’ to you?”

But the boy spoke before the other could utter another word about it. “You already did, whenever we set a slower pace,” his words held in them something Derek connected to understanding and gentleness, as if the smallest action could have such an impact.

Yet, the wolf wasn’t fully convinced and Stiles noticed it like it was written all over his face; there was something more to it. “Not really… We still did those things.” For a long second, he couldn’t wrap his head around it, until green eyes reminded him of the cruelty of the world they lived in.

Stiles was just as shocked, brows crunched in confusion until the realization hit him as well, as hard as when Derek heard his words.

‘Kate… Jennifer…’

Hovering above him, Stiles saw years upon years of abuse in Derek's eyes, which were humid with the beginning of tears. He thought about his freedom being stripped from his fingers and placed in somebody else’s, somebody as physically strong as Derek being held with chains…

Hushing his past memories to stay buried, Stiles lowered himself on the other, hiding his face in the wolf's chest, ‘of all things, I wish I could make it up to you for what they did…’ and nothing else scared him more than not being able to. To fail someone who had been failed and betrayed so many times before.

“Derek…” Was the only thing he could say at the moment, almost wishing for the tears to stay away, the one he saw in his mate’s eyes and the one in his own. The wolf tried to get a hold of the other's eyes, looking over his chest where Stiles was laid on top of him. “Mh?” The harsh voice came from a deep rumble in his chest, waiting to know his boyfriend’s thoughts.

“We've been together for almost a year now… And I never told you this, but you can say ‘no’ any time you don't want to do something or when you don't feel like it. I never thought to tell you… I’m sorry you thought you couldn’t all this time.” Stiles was beating himself on the inside, damning himself for having been so naive when it was right in front of him. Right beneath his fingers.

But Derek didn't want him to do that, to punish himself anyhow. “Stiles, you couldn't know… It's okay, it's not your fault” comforted the other as arms went around his back; Stiles was breathing in sync with Derek.

Once again, Stiles wanted and could read right through him, to know what happened that made him think he couldn't deny people. To find whatever made him believe he didn’t deserve to have a say in things he was involved with. But it felt like too much, like he didn't have any right to read that deep without hearing his voice telling him about it.

However, Stiles used his arms to hold himself above Derek, strong arms never leaving his bony but strong back and he was staring into soft, sore eyes. ‘Let's see if I can help a little… Even in the smallest way possible’ was a vacant thought that emerged from the boy’s mind. And he put it into action, wishing Derek would understand he was telling the truth, nothing but the truth.

“Do you want a kiss?” Took Derek by surprise. “Yeah… Yes” was enough to make it all start.

Derek held Stiles’ head in his hands, gently asking him to get closer and Stiles did. Their lips touched, ‘I never thought it could be like this…’ Was in weak, skinny prints in Derek’s mind.

Stiles kept the kiss going, softly and sensual, as he began to make them both sit, Derek on top of him on the couch. “What are you doing?” asked the wolf, his legs parted above Stiles’ own, arms around his slim neck. The wolf stared into his eyes as he felt a wave of closure wash over him.

Derek had a little smile, full of a will to live Stiles never truly saw in him until that moment and in every fiber of his being he wondered: ‘how could anyone want to take that away from you… How could anyone be so cruel to want to strip you of it?’

Hands caressing and holding Derek’s slim waist that the boy couldn’t let go of, his mind went silent for a moment. Nothing in it had the energy to engage in something he knew it would just bring up more pain. But Derek looked at him like nothing else was worth watching and the boy was lost in those eyes of his…

Stiles’ eyes reflected his thoughts, a mirror to his mind he never really put a shield on, ‘read if you want’ was what the wolf first noticed in the air and he could never ask for anyone more open about love than Stiles.

No one could ever be more open to anything than the boy from whom he couldn’t avert his gaze.

Therefore, with a faint voice and a sad, melancholic expression, muscles tensed the words he then spoke broke the silence.

“It was Kate.”

His body froze in place, hands didn’t move anymore on the other’s waist, his eyes were wide in acknowledgement. Even though he knew it was her, hearing Derek say it broke something in Stiles, who silently waited, retracting his hands to put them by his sides, not touching the wolf anyhow.

But Derek had another idea, pulling his mate’s hands back where they were, his own above Stiles’, tightening the grip on his own waist, “don’t go away from me.”

It was all Derek said while he put his arms back around the other’s neck. The feeling of being touched awoke something in him, a dim light which made its way inside his veins thanks to the sparkle coming from the boy’s eyes.

Stiles had a heart that poured love all around itself, ready to fill every cup in need of it and the other couldn’t help but compare such a fountain of intangible treasure to his own dry, shattered glass. Derek ached with the knowledge that to be cut to shreds meant having love seeping right through you, filling you up to the brim with something you’d have to learn all over again.

And his mate’s words brought him back from his journey in the depth of his damaged, yet capable heart…

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too much, I don’t want you to force yourself with me about anything, baby.” Stiles chimed as Derek’s head fell on his shoulder and his boyfriend turned his head to bury his face in the wolf’s neck, the skin there was ticklish which made Derek’s grip around Stiles’ neck more firm.

And even if he couldn’t see it, he felt Derek smiling and asked “what are you smiling about now?”

Could there really be anyone more intuitive than Stiles on the face of earth? Derek knew the answer and he was glad it meant he got the ‘all in’ on his boy’s attentive care.

“I like it when you call me ‘baby’... I know you don’t mean to humiliate me with it, you only say it with love.” And his mind reminded him of all the times Stiles made him feel loved unconditionally.

“Why would I ever-” but the boy shut it up immediately, remembering what Derek was starting to say just a few moments before, ‘it was Kate…’

Derek’s eyes were back to look in Stiles’, their hands on waist and neck; he didn’t have anything else to do than to decide whether to share it or not. Besides, it was Stiles, ‘my mate…’, so he didn’t have any doubt about telling him, knowing he’d understand him. That he’d love him anyway.

“When I was in highschool, she faked to be a teacher there and she got close to me…” His voice got shaky in a heartbeat. “Somehow she convinced me to have a relationship with her…” It took him a deep breath to not start crying on the spot; Stiles nuzzled his nose on Derek’s neck, “it’s okay, take your time” reassured the man he was in love with.

“She always tried to get me to do what she wanted, to let her… touch me…” His hands held tighter around Stiles’ neck. “And whenever I tried to get away or say ‘no’ to her, she’d threaten my family, like she always knew we were werewolves and wasn’t just a teacher.”

Their eyes met and Stiles was sure he’d hunt her down if she wasn’t already dead. “She had this thing about calling me pet names to humiliate me… ‘baby’, ‘darling’, ‘puppy’... She always had the upper hand even though I could’ve killed her at any moment, but I never really stood a chance. I thought she… loved me, in some way of hers and that she would show me through… pain, and I thought it wasn’t so bad… even though I was letting her have it her way.”

Everything he said came out in a rushed speech of broken sentences and pitched breaths, he didn’t know how to say it any differently if not as if telling a story from a horror book he read a while back; Stiles still understood though, that it wasn’t an easy task whatsoever, to bring everything up.

He caressed the small bit of covered skin he had underneath his hands without putting too much pressure in the gesture, not to feel the other threatened anyhow before he spoke after seeing the devastated and shameful look the wolf had.

“Don’t beat yourself up, it’s all on her, you don’t have any fault or blame, Derek. Not a single one.” Reassuring as always, Stiles, the man who truly loved him, carefully pulled him closer by the waist although he was worried he might be doing the wrong thing, but he wasn’t. Derek leaned in the motion, moving closer to his mate, sitting almost on his lower stomach, Stiles’ lap felt like home beneath him; the space between them was non-existent.

“When I was around fifteen, during one full moon, she had me handcuffed to a radiator in her basement…” He kept his face hidden in the other’s neck, a place in which he felt safe to breathe without expecting his lungs to implode; he knew it wouldn’t happen, not if Stiles kept soothing him so gently.

“She wanted to do something special, she said,” he re-evoked the night as if he could never forget about any little details of it; “she brought out a box full of…” He didn’t say what was in it, but Stiles could imagine just fine what she had in mind.

He got a shaky breath in before going on; “she beat me with a metal chain when I snapped at her out of fear, told her I didn’t want to… have sex with her…” He let out the memory while letting a lonely tear run down his cheek, which Stiles wiped away.

It had been the last thing he said about it and Stiles couldn't fathom in his mind anything he could do to make her pay for it. His blood was boiling but it was in vain; he had no way to fight her, he could just hope the memories would wash away from the other’s mind, all the while being there by his side.

Minutes went by in silence, Derek relied his head on Stiles’ shoulder, while he caressed his back in soothing motions, both their eyes had something sad in them.

Sitting in Stiles’ lap, Derek’s mind went through a storm of memories he thought he had long forgotten, but that he really couldn't run away from. The way she always used to try to get him to mate her and how she tried when he was at his lowest point, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it to Stiles, he couldn’t put it on him.

‘Maybe another time… If it’ll come to that.’ And he tried to focus on his mate, who was grounding him. “My anchor…”

“What?” Immediately said Stiles, remembering what Deaton once told him basically a year prior, but his mind wondered a little about what Derek was about to say. “It’s just… you’ve been my anchor for so long, Stiles. I’ve never told this to anyone before you and surely no one after you, ‘cause I don’t want an ‘after you’ to talk about to anyone. I just want the ‘with you’ part.” And he laughed a little at his silly words.

“You talk like you have something else to say…” tried Stiles, in an attempt to ease the mood as he looked at the other with raised eyebrows, ‘I could be wrong eh’ they were meaning to say. “Yeah, there’s something else I actually want to say.” Replied Derek, his back straightening under the other’s soft fingers.

“Which is, may I ask?” Stiles talked with half closed eyes, a furrowed expression on his face, poorly displayed just to get Derek to laugh a little, or to smile at his silly question that seemed to come out of a 1900’s novel. And his little dare worked, because before the wolf responded to him, a few little signs of laughs came to the boy’s ear. A smile tugging Derek’s lips.

“Because you’re not only my anchor now, but also my mate and I… love you.”

Derek’s smile had never been as bright to Stiles as in that moment, it was like he was truly happy, content to be with him. ‘And I love you too… More than you know, well, maybe you can smell it… anyway!’ And the wolf did as the boy stopped his thought, then he spoke as well about something else.

“Wow, that’s a lot of sentiments coming from you; you sure the full moon isn’t doing something to you?”

It was a little provocative but he only meant to make him smile some more, ‘I could live off your smile for the rest of my life… Maybe the full moon is taking its toll on me too…?’ And Derek read it in Stiles’ caring, loving expression he was displaying only for him.

“You know I can tell exactly what you’re thinking just by your expression and scent, right?” Mockingly pointed out Derek, his legs squeezing Stiles’ lap without any intention, just a playful way to show the other the happiness he couldn’t keep to himself.

Stiles was glad he wasn’t wearing the pain he felt while he was talking about her.

He was really glad for it, glad his mate could follow his lead that would bring him, hopefully, some joy.

“If you know so well what I’m thinking about, you already know what I’m about to ask you, but I still want you to hear me say it.” Stiles was puffing his chest out and Derek laughed even more, covering his mouth with one hand and waiting for the other to speak. His other arm never left Stiles’ neck, just so the boy’s were still on the wolf’s waist.

“You sure you want me to stay with you with the full moon, baby?” On Stiles’ lips was a little smile, something in it chanted ‘permission’. Yet Derek’s ears perked up, something in them would’ve been a sign.

“Are you using ‘baby’ to get to me?” He said with a defeated face, eyes down a little but still looking into Stiles’ irises.

Scared he might have made the mistake of a lifetime, Stiles went on the defensive, trying to explain himself as fast as possible, “I didn’t mean to-”

But Derek shut him up with a little surprise. Placing his lips on the other’s pale neck, near where he could hear his heartbeat through his veins, the shock quieted him down. Stiles stopped in his tracks, somehow his mind went back to when the wolf once told him how he could rip his throat out, ‘with my teeth’ was the last thing he had said.

Sensing his mate’s fear mixed with confusion due to not having teeth sunk in his neck, Derek laughed and hopped closer to Stiles, closing even the smallest space that could've been between them. “I’m joking darling, I know you love me.” It was the only thing he said to get Stiles to calm down.

‘Darling… Oh, how I like it when you call me that’ but he didn’t say anything about it and kept it to himself.

After he understood what was going on and that he wasn’t going to die that night, Stiles eagerly played along. “Now you’re being pretentious, don’t you think?” His brows were raised, he knew the other couldn't deny the truth and it showed right on his face.

“Oh, so I’m wrong to think you love me?” Derek put on his best sappy eyes, ever so slightly watery which made Stiles fumble immediately. Their little game didn’t last long, but it wasn't so missed afterwards.

“...Nah, you win” and his lips went on the other’s neck, just like Derek did with him. His eyes looked up and found the wolf’s gaze, taking his lips away for a brief moment, asking “is this fine?” And his mate nodded. After he got what he wanted, he went back where he was and Stiles swore he saw Derek exposed his neck even more for him to have better access. But he didn’t know what to think about it.

“So?” Stiles finally spoke. His lips were ghosts on Derek’s neck, brushing his sensitive skin just the right way, the air coming out of his nostrils was ticklish for the wolf, who squeezed his legs a little in response. It was quickly becoming a dangerous tango to learn so soon…

When Stiles gave his neck some peace, Derek spoke in a tight whisper, nothing more than a stolen breath brushing on Stiles’ ear. “Yes, I’d want nothing more.”

They stole kisses on lips and necks until the TV, the volume of it ever so slightly noticeable, went on the news and Stiles knew it was around 7 o’clock. Derek was still on his lap and to Stiles’ eyes, he seemed a bit more touchy than usual, but he let that fall to the side.

He wasn’t particularly hungry since he kept biting softly at Derek’s lips, who was trading small bites with soft kisses on the other’s neck whenever he could manage to do so. But Stiles knew the wolf wasn’t going to stop to eat and apart from getting him to be comfortable around his skinny presence, he also wanted him to eat well and not skip meals; it was a habit he had from the first few years when it was only him and his father.

“What about we prepare some dinner?” He asked once his lips weren’t on the other’s rosy skin, neck and lips of a pretty shade of red Stiles hoped would stay a bit longer, ‘that super healing…’ but his mind couldn't focus on one thing only as Derek slowly stopped and looked him in the eyes.

Pushing his chest as close as possible to the other’s, Derek held his arms around Stiles’ neck, his legs by his mate’s sides, eyes sappy and full of love much to Stiles’ surprise, ‘you got so lovely without even knowing it’ was a little comment he might share with him later. “Do we have to?” Was one of the two possibilities Stiles had in his mind and the one he knew the other would go with.

Without giving him much notice though, Stiles pushed them both on the couch, Derek on his back facing the other on top of him. “Yes, we do.” Stiles stood from their tangled bodies and went to the kitchen, already thinking about what they could eat. The wolf laid there for a moment, nothing on his mind as he felt something in himself scream at him to stick to Stiles’ hip.

‘I know what you are… But I’m still afraid, just a little.’ He confronted the feeling and he shut the voice down, there was something else he had to do first.

He stood as well, pushing instincts away, to get to where Stiles was roaming around the kitchen counter, already preparing some quick pasta. And it couldn’t be an easy task for Stiles, not with Derek nuzzling his neck every chance he got and making him start to worry about his behavior; ‘too touchy, especially for you’ was starting to poke his mind.

When he was finally able to serve dinner for them both, they ate, leaving pretty much nothing on their plates. Derek finished first, which immediately caught Stiles’ attention, ‘he never finishes before me…’ but yet again, the thought fell in an endless hole in his mind. However the mindless thoughts didn't last long since, when he finished his plate as well and put it in the washing machine, everything else was already in it. ‘What are you…?’ Stiles wondered again.

But he wasn’t really given any time to actually process what was going on as he somehow managed to get Derek to sit in front of him at the dining table; his eyes lost in wonder, the wolf didn’t know what to expect until Stiles asked him something, “you sure the full moon isn’t doing something on you?”

“Yeah” Derek said without much enthusiasm and Stiles still wasn’t sure about it, but he wanted to trust and believe him, his mate. And he knew it would all click in place when time was due.

“It’s late, we should go to sleep” started Stiles a few moments later and went towards the stairs, Derek following him before he even had a chance to ask if he was coming along; stretching out his hand to get to the other’s, the wolf wanted Stiles to be as close as possible to him and the thoughts about the full moon didn’t quite leave the boy’s mind.

In their bedroom, clothes didn’t take long to be replaced. Stiles with his usual shirt and boxers and Derek did the same, stealing one of his mate's extra large clothes he liked to wear, ‘he once said it's like wearing a cloud’ was all the wolf thought about while admitting he was right.

He couldn't help the feeling in his chest, wanting to be surrounded with nothing but Stiles, therefore that might’ve been only the beginning.

And switching one garment for the other was met gladly, without causing any surprise since it was mildly warm in the loft and the wolf was comfortable showing his skin around his mate.

So, Stiles laid on his side of the mattress, back on the headrest of the bed as he planned to read a few pages of his book before sleeping, not really bothering to go under the covers as he didn’t feel that cold.

Derek didn’t go over to his side of the bed though.

Instead he hesitantly sat on Stiles’ lap, scooping as close as he could to him. Not really moving his hands to touch the wolf anyhow, Stiles simply knew it was his chance to get to the truth. ‘I know you are scared of something, but we’ll get over it’ was printed in his eyes, softly and caring looking in Derek’s jumpy ones.

“So it does affect you?” He tried, whispering softly as he massaged the other's lower back. Fingers melting muscles and relieving stress, Stiles knew Derek almost all too well.

“...Yeah” Was all Derek said as his arms went around the other’s neck, falling gracefully around his figure. His little admission granted him Stiles’ hands to move around his waist as well; hugging in their position, they both rested their heads on each other’s shoulders. Stiles’ scent didn't stink of anything resembling ‘liar’ and Derek was amazed at how much his mate actually understood him.

Gently pushing his head against the other’s neck, a little attempt to ease the wolf’s nervousness, Stiles placed a kiss on his skin, more a ghost of it. “Why didn't you tell me?” Was all he asked in the crock of Derek's neck, directly below his ear, his nose brushing his skin reassuring the other he wasn't mad.

“I was afraid you’d leave.” ‘Or that I’d act differently and I don’t like it… but the alpha keeps it down… And you still don’t know about it.’ Voice quiet and low mixed with heavy thoughts, Derek responded clinging to Stiles, knowing and hoping he wasn't making a mistake. And his mate proved him right, just like he always did.

Stiles pulled him closer just like Derek always tried to do during the whole day. “I never would” was kissed on Derek's lips and he was trapped in Stiles’ soft, loving embrace. Their legs brushed together, skinny hands caressing strong thighs, ‘surprisingly almost hairless, where d’you keep the fur?’ was a strange observation, but not so strange for him to notice.

Night came over their heads and they were still kissing, somehow still trying to desperately close the space between them, but that was more from Derek's request; which he surprisingly didn’t have to voice since Stiles always understood him without much words implied.

Sneaking his hands down his mate’s back, the wolf ravished his skin, which was turning a shade of red Derek was beginning to fall in love with almost too much. Stiles saw it right the second he felt warm hands slide down his spine and spotting their intention, he took off his shirt and threw it on the floor. ‘Enjoy’ was his little wish for the night but his boyfriend didn't hear it.

Derek didn’t quite know what to do, his hands didn’t go back to their administrations in the time Stiles expected them to. So he did it himself.

Taking the wolf’s hands, he guided them above his shoulders, letting them slide down his spine, fingers felt like little ghosts were dangling on skin. “It’s okay, you can” was Stiles’ little prompt for the other.

Feeling like he was wandering, mind pondering if he could handle Stiles being so understanding with him, somehow always managing to get him to be himself around him. “You're so open about… this” was the only thing Derek said as his palms slid over Stiles’ waist, tracing his scars and reviving the moments when his mate was doing the same.

Stealing yet a few more kisses, Stiles couldn't stand his dear lover thinking anything bad or sad about himself. He was ready to go to the bottom of it that same night, but he knew he couldn’t run down the stairs without hitting the floor face first. So, he went for a soft approach that wouldn't last too much.

“You mean intimacy?” And the other just shook his head, the motion slow and calculated; he knew Stiles was about to say something. “Well, you can be too and I won't take away from you the closure it gives, the safety it makes you feel…” He said it all in a softly spoken manner on Derek's neck.

And as his eyes had yet again another chance to get watery, the full moon was pinching Derek's control. His eyes flashed a vibrant shade of red but Stiles wasn’t afraid of it. “It's okay, breathe, take your time” and he stopped everything he was doing, he knew the wolf didn't like losing control.

His fingers brushing Derek’s things, the alpha had his eyes closed, trying to calm himself down. “It doesn't go away.” He kept them sealed, almost squeezing them to not be shown. But Stiles reassured him once more.

“It's okay, let me see” was all it took Derek to look at the other, his eyes red as tail lights. His arms still around the other's neck, the wolf moved his hips on Stiles’ lap, ‘do something’ he thought. And he did, but not what the wolf expected. Surely nothing he could’ve predicted...

“They are so pretty, little riding red.”

“Okay, I'm leaving.” Derek was close to actually going but the laughs he was holding in gave him away and Stiles pulled him closer, hands firm on his hips. “And where are you planning to go?” Playfully asked Stiles, his lips back tickling Derek's collarbones.

Sitting back down and angrily compressing the other's legs together under his own, the alpha stated his mocking threat of leaving, “anywhere is fine” but Stiles was having plenty of fun and he knew damn well Derek felt the same.

Smiling to himself and hiding his face in Stiles’ neck, Derek felt alive like never before, as if love could be reachable and that it could be something for him too, like he always wanted it to be. He whispered softly in his mate's ears something he just wanted to say, no answer was needed.

“You make me feel loved… despite everyone who came before you, you make Love seem like something easy to live… I love you.” Derek gave Stiles a firm kiss under his ear, but the tenderness of the moment didn't have a long life though. “Yet I would still go somewhere else.”

“Yeah, yeah… as long as you believe you'd like that.” Stiles was daring his luck and betting on his boyfriend's pride, which resulted in a typical Derek Hale expression of, in this case mockingly, disappointment. Before he could even start a debate, the wolf promptly bit Stiles’ shoulder a little.

Laughs erupted in their room and Stiles was the culprit. His hands tenderly firm around Derek's thighs, “you got touchy, didn’t you?” Fell out Stiles’ lips hitting his beloved's ears.

Retracting his teeth and lips from Stiles’ soft skin, a rush of embarrassment found his way through Derek; love felt weird on his tortured limbs and he didn't know the taste of joy as much as Stiles did. He didn’t say anything about it but his mate noticed the switch in his mood.

Not wanting for it all to end like that, Stiles made it his life purpose to bring Derek back from the depths of his mind. “Baby, it's okay, nothing is wrong in being touchy and wanting affection, alright?” Red eyes found shelter in brown ones and Derek placed a delicate kiss on his cheek. ‘I'll try because of you… for us.’

“I like it when you let yourself be around me, bitey and touchy, lovely…” was softly spoken in the alpha's ears, eyes buzzing from red to green but neither of them minded that anyway. “And I love it when you hold me.” Derek had a shade of embarrassment on his cheeks but it was the good kind of it.

Eyes found safety in pools of colors and hands traveled the miles of a lifetime on each other's backs. Lips were ghosts and wars of tenderness were being carried out on scarred, bruised skin.

Pale neck and shoulders turned a shade of crimson that didn't wake any bad memories in the wolf, his lips sucking on easily marked skin. Stiles swore he felt like a canvas being painted in shades of love he never really thought he'd be able to live.

On the other end, Derek wondered the length of rope that love was about, but he quickly found out no amount of it could ever hurt him as long as Stiles was the one cutting the pieces.

Stiles held him all night long and Derek found his way around his mate's neck, leaving pretty signs of his passing. Thumbs left soft marks on the alpha's skin and despite the boy knew they were meant to disappear, he hoped they'd leave a trace in the other's soul.

But things got a bit too much when the wolf noticed Stiles’ skin was turning a strange shade of purple that made his heart drop. It felt like he had claws around his neck, fangs breaking skin to reach the tender muscle beneath, but it was just love. Love he didn’t know how to handle.

Reading the scared look he had in his eyes, Stiles didn’t say anything, the time for words was over, it was the turn for actions. He held the wolf's face with one hand, caring and guiding him closer. He exposed his neck, ‘you can’ was a little look he gave Derek; eyes were half closed, lost in love, not lust.

Yet, a thought crossed Derek's mind. ‘You too’ was a little plea of permission he had never felt before, but he was getting the hang of Stiles bringing his true self out of the shell. Just like he always lured him out of his old, decaying house.

His lips were almost too soft to be felt on Stiles’ skin, ‘thank you’ was what his kiss meant on his puffy lips. Arms relaxed around his neck, slightly pulling to come closer, Derek guided Stiles to his own neck.

“Your turn… Please…”

Eyes bright as flashlight, somehow the image of shock was perfectly pictured on his features. Stiles was switching his eyes from one type of red to the other, eye and neck were both colored with it. “Are you sure? Don't force yourself to accept it… it's okay if you want more time.” Was Stiles’ only response.

And Derek didn’t take no as an answer, especially when he felt like he could have something for himself, something he craved since his eyes became an icy shade of blue, hidden by an angry red.

“I know.” His voice was firm, yet a hint of care was in it, “and I want you to do it too, if you want… I'd like you to do it too” was all Derek said back. And Stiles was a nobody when a docile werewolf was asking for something he actually wanted for himself.

At first he simply slided his lips over the alpha's neck, deciding on a spot for his hickey and after he picked, his eyes drove up. “Tell me to stop if it's too much for you” and the wolf nodded, letting his beloved go on with his work.

Minutes went by before Stiles could manage to leave a mark on Derek's skin, his healing always beating him in time. But they didn't mind that too much, simply because the wolf shared with him a little secret he never really told anyone before.

“The mating bite is the only mark that sticks on my skin.”

Stiles would be found guilty if he said not a single thought about it crossed his mind.

One of his hands went behind the wolf's neck, the other firm on his hips, fingers almost digging into the skin there. He couldn't bring himself to say anything remotely close to lust, he didn’t want to and he knew Derek didn't mean it like that.

“You know how to get a guy wrapped around your fingers” was what Stiles went with instead and just as he hoped, Derek smiled in a way that spoke nothing else but ‘to love and belong’; Stiles almost choked on the air his lungs were desperately trying to get. He was staring deeply at the wolf’s lively expression like he had never seen anything as rare as Derek's smile.

Letting the night come to its fullest, around 2 AM Stiles’ eyes were beginning to fall into a deep sleep he was trying to fight, but it wasn’t a battle he could win.

Knowing his neck was sparkled with hickeys and little love bites he could feel without even touching his skin, he tried his best to not fall asleep. But Derek noticed his tiredness through his weak grip on his hips; his scent had in it something of the night mixed with the need to pass out and rest.

“We should sleep, darling.” Chimed the alpha, his eyes more green than red as he let himself go on Stiles’ neck for the past hour or so. Stiles heard the words like his prayers were being answered. “Yeah, we really should.” And he threw them both on their sides, facing each other while laying comfortably on their bed.

“Good night, baby” was met with a soft “good night, darling” and a sweet, chaste kiss on Stiles’ lips, the last of the night. The younger one fell asleep almost immediately, his arms and fingers instinctively went to hold Derek, who let the night come to his senses only after he admired his lover in the quiet of the darkness for a little bit.

A quick thought passed his mind before his eyelids fell though; nothing could be seen in the dark and he was embraced in Stiles’ warm hug, their legs tangled as the last word went away.

‘You let me be what I am… I guess I'll have to tell you one day… I won't like the way I'll be but you'll make me feel loved regardless, somehow that's what you do.’

As night came so it went away, the morning sun woke up Stiles first as stripes of lights hit his eyes, beating away sleep. Yawning and stretching, he caressed his beloved's face, love pouring out his being like he had too much of it to be able to keep to himself.

“Good morning” Stiles softly whispered and his words didn't wake the other up. His best choice was to stick in their bed, by Derek’s side and cuddle him a little in his sleep.

Hands went over the curve of the alpha's body, from shoulder to hip Stiles portrayed the lines in his mind, making a map out of them. ‘I wonder what you are hiding in those eyes of yours… I guess I just have to wait for you to tell me.’ But a smile still formed on his lips the second he saw Derek waking up.

“Mh… morning” was all he said, his eyes closed, not bothering to see anything around himself. He trusted Stiles was there, he could sense and smell his presence from a mile away anyway.

Yet, as Stiles’ fingers smoothly passed along his covered skin reaching his thighs, a little shiver went through his spine, cold fingertips opened his eyes. Slowly the vision got clearer, from blurred colors to firm shapes until what he saw scared him just enough.

Worried he went too far the night before, his mind couldn't bring him any coherent thoughts, his eyes were fixed on Stiles’ neck and the mess of love that was all over it.

His hand instinctively went to touch the tender, sore skin. ‘Please… no.’

His heart was switching one emotion with another, shame and fear, his gaze lost in guilt. But Stiles knew it would happen, Derek was his mate and how could he not predict his own other half?

“It's alright, it doesn't hurt one bit, I promise.” Stiles’ voice was the island of peace and freedom Derek had always wanted to find, but his eyes couldn't help it. The bite marks were still there, on Stiles’ neck, red and angry. The alpha couldn't help but wonder if he went too far.

Stiles’ lips were of a softness Derek could've only imagined before he got a chance to experience it. He kissed the wolf's eyes, softly closing them, “everything's fine, these little bites of yours look really pretty on my neck. And it's time people know about us, don't you think?”

It hit him a bit in his pride, “show people, you say?” It was unexpected but not totally. Yet the alpha felt more confident that morning, his mate tangled with him, proud to show his neck around apparently. And how could he not feel the same when their first anniversary was around the corner?

“Alright, let's show people who we belong to” and Stiles didn’t expect him to say it like that, but the night prior flashed before his eyes. “Will you be touchy with me in front of the others?” Stiles’ eyes were comprehensive before Derek even got a chance to say something.

“Maybe…” But they both knew he'd be with time and Stiles couldn't help but ask, hoping the light mood of their morning together was in his favor as he shared something else as well. “I'd never thought you could be… submissive, like last night, is it something related to the full moon, or I don't know, the alpha-beta-omega stuff?”

‘You strike a point every time you ask something, you know that?’ Derek thought but considering his options, he decided to save it for another time. “Yeah… But now's not the time for it, maybe another time, is that okay?”

It was more than anything he expected, no tears or fear, no shame nor secrets, he knew it would all come crashing down, but he also knew Derek would tell him eventually. “Totally, we got all the time in the world baby” and Stiles could see the wolf's face relax a little. He also noticed his eyes, which were staring at his neck.

Not changing position or anything in particular, Stiles waited for Derek to choose what to do, as always leaving him all the freedom he could. The alpha's eyes had something in them that the other couldn't quite translate, but he guessed it was possessiveness and he didn't mind a single bit.

So, just as he was waiting, Derek moved closer to him, then placed a soft kiss on Stiles’ colorful skin, “it's like you have a garden of tulips on your neck and I'm the gardener who made it all bloom.” His voice was soft, almost pleading for forgiveness, his heart was begging him to run and ask Stiles to be his, forever.

“And I love these flowers very much, promise me you'll plant more if these dries out” was all it took for the wolf to be at ease; he felt flattered. Stiles always ready to prove his love and trust to the other surely made Derek's heart less heavy.

Stiles gave him back a few kisses of his own, on his cheek, on his forehead and lips. “Let me go make breakfast. When you want come down with me” and he slowly raised from the bedsheets, making waves as he went away.

He didn’t bother with putting on anything else, he went downstairs with his boxers and shirt, knowing no one would mind if he did. Derek saw him slide out the door and disappear to go to the kitchen.

As he went down the stairs and to the fridge, more time went by, almost an hour later the alpha went down himself. In the kitchen, he met Stiles from behind, wrapping his arms around his waist, nuzzling his neck.

“You look beautiful” was all he said, his eyes closed. Stiles moved his head, ‘you like my neck, don’t you?’

He gave the other more access to his new favorite spot to kiss, all the while the boy’s mind served him with the image of the wolf doing the same the night before.

“Shut up, you're the one who looks stunning on my lap.” Was Stiles’ playful remark on their little adventure and the wolf blushed a little, hiding his face in the other's neck, breathing in his scent to calm himself down.

“Now you aren't all that talkative anymore, mh?” He added, petting the wolf’s head with care. Gentle teeth bit his skin, just enough to feel the presence of them but not enough to leave any mark.

Derek's canines were ticklish in a strange way, his skin bursting with goosebumps, “come one now, breakfast is ready” and the alpha sat down at the table; “whenever you want” was all he said while enjoying Stiles’ little dance around the stove.

“You know I love you, right?”

The wolf's words made Stiles turn around. “What?” Derek’s question remained unanswered as the boy’s confusion prevailed. He was putting the plates on the table while he was talking, he was lucky nothing fell.

“I love you, I just wanted to tell you that” said the wolf again, his eyes sappy and tender; he was hiding a little of what he knew would come with time, but he was fine resting for the next battle.

“And I love you just as much, any way you are, just as you are.” Before he sat down, he went around the table, next to Derek and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I want you to be simply you with me, no hiding or running. I know it'll take you time, but I'll wait for you.”

Eyes went to Stiles, a little red buzzed as Derek still felt a bit of the full moon. “I'll try.”

And finally Stiles sat down; they ate stealing looks all the time and before any new conversation could be born, Derek took back the last one.

“I will.”

Stiles hid the biggest smile his lips could handle. ‘'Thank you for trusting me.’

Derek held his hand on the table, fingers intertwined. “Thank you for loving me.”

“Oh, don't do that, I love you too.” Was all Stiles could say back while keeping tears at bay. Derek being open with him made him feel special in a way he never knew possible.

The wolf laughed a bit at his mate’s cuteness. It gained him a smack on his hand, but the boy kissed his palm immediately after.

“Never thank me for something that comes so naturally to me.” Stiles had a smile tugging his lips.

They ended up being love birds all morning, a battle of ‘I love you's and stolen kisses.

Neither of them would ask for anything better than being themselves, together.

Chapter Text

More time had passed, almost a month during which Stiles noticed Derek being more affectionate with him even with people around; Scott and the others were starting to put two and two together so the boy decided to bring it up again on his own, not before asking the wolf about it.

“I think it's time we tell them, like officially. What do you say?” They were chilling in bed after dinner, Derek laying between Stiles’ legs, with his head on the other’s lower abdomen while reading an old book; the younger one had his back to the headrest, kind of sitting on the mattress and taking in the sight of his boyfriend.

Fingers were stroking black hair as the wolf was reading a book in peace; peace that Stiles broke with his question, but no one minded that.

Head rolling back, some gentle pressure was on the soft patch of meat of Stiles’ stomach; it felt like a reassuring weight, and his mind went to when he had a stomachache and his mother used to make circles on it to make it go away. Derek watched as his mate’s eyes lived the memory once again, black shallowing the dirty gold of his irises. “You think it'd be a good thing to do?” Green eyes looked up to meet Stiles’ own.

“Yeah.” He immediately remarked, a sappy smile and eyes watery. “Sorry, I just remembered my mom and… anyway.” He kept stroking Derek's head without adding another word; fingers sliding behind the wolf’s ears, the tears in his eyes were already beginning to fade. But his lover wouldn't let him suffer alone.

“It's okay, I got you.” The wolf put his book down on the bed, both his arms went under Stiles’ upper legs and then above them, strong hands caressed the boy’s thighs; and breathing through little huffs of air as best he could, Stiles leaned over and kissed his man. “Yeah, I think it'd be a good idea.” His words of remarkable approval were muffled in sweet kisses.

Smiling at a thought that came to his mind, Stiles added more to his suggestion. “Especially because they would be suspicious if they saw us cuddling or dining out for our anniversary.” Derek laughed at the hypothetical scene of Scott and the others finding them sniffing their necks or stealing from each other’s plates in a diner; it was a risk he didn't mind taking, yet…

“Who do you wanna tell first? Scott?” Derek let go of Stiles’ thighs and rolled on his back, both arms crossed on the other’s stomach like a made up pillow; Stiles put down a list of people in his mind and as he considered his best friends not being so down at him dating Derek, he went for another person.

“He would throw a fist at you. I say Lydia or Cora. Peter is coming for dinner in a few days so we can tell him then.” Stiles advocated for them all and Derek still had to ask, he couldn't get it out of his head. “Why would he throw a fist at me though?” His eyes worried he might've done something wrong that he wasn’t aware about.

“He once told me not to get close to you ‘cause I'm part of his pack and stuff. Like you're an alpha and bla bla bla” but the childish muttering wasn’t over, “and he says you're like a dog with rabies.” Derek didn't know if he should feel betrayed or just laugh it off along with the shock. “A dog with rabies? He doesn't like me very much, mh?” But Stiles knew he didn't really care and he even told him without much of a second thought.

“I know you don’t care as long as he doesn't pull me away from you, ‘cause if it happens, you two would fight and I know I don’t wanna see it.” ‘And I don’t wanna decide whose injuries to patch up, ‘cause I'd choose yours and say sorry to him later.’ He didn’t say the last part.

“Fine, you're right. Cora or Lydia first?” Defeat wasn't bitter as Derek would let him win every time.

“Lydia?” Stiles didn’t know the whereabouts of Cora but he knew the wolf could find her somehow, but she probably wasn’t going to be around for a few days. ‘Peter said she was on some sort of mission in Mexico, so we gotta wait for her comeback. He said she'd be back tomorrow evening if I remember well…’

The wolf between his legs hummed his approval and laid his head down on Stiles’ stomach, his hands fell to the boy’s side and one of them caressed the scar above his hip; it all made sure to bring his mind back to the present.

Besides, they talked for a while and it was around midnight when they ended up deciding they would go to Lydia's place the next evening.

And just as night came, it also went away and morning was slipping through the curtains; they slept in the position they were the night before. One thing leading to the other, they enjoyed breakfast and lunch contemplating how to break the news to the others.

“Direct approach or going around it till they get it?” Stiles was on the couch, TV on but not giving it the smallest grain of attention; he was busy watching Derek cleaning up the kitchen, a sight he wouldn't trade for anything else in the world.

His eyes weren’t the only one wondering, though…

Throwing the cloth over his shoulder and putting the dishes away, his eyes went over Stiles’ figure melted on the couch, laying on his stomach and on his elbows to look all over him. “Direct approach sounds more like us.” He walked over the living room, everything was done behind him.

Stiles scooped himself back up and freed some space for the wolf when he was close enough; Derek sat at the end of the couch, the boy immediately took his chance and rested his head on the wolf’s lap like he was using a pillow. Another question left Stiles’ mouth to fill the air of the room, “I can do the talking if it's okay with you” and Derek agreed once again, but the deal wasn't over yet.

“But, you have to support me a little through it; I'm already nervous just by thinking about it.” The wolf kissed the other’s forehead, his fingertips massaging Stiles’ stomach; the motion calming his running mind and heart. “Everything you need, I'll do. You already took on yourself the talking part, which I'm grateful for, so this is the least I can do for you.”

Derek’s eyes were like the Preserve which Stiles remembered from the night he and Scott went searching for a dead body; the dark of the trees that would become lighter with the sun, with stripes of shades only the light could make. “I'll be right by your side.” Their lips met and Stiles calmed down.

‘Knowing you'll be there all the way makes it already half the journey. The other half, I just have to talk… thank you.’ But he didn’t want to break the blissfulness of the moment, so he just kissed Derek again and again, soft and sweet until the clock hit the hour.

Facing the other without trying to steal yet another kiss, “shall we go in a few minutes then?” And fingers went through his fluffy hair in agreement.

It took them an hour to actually get up and go over Lydia's place. Stiles didn’t want to move from his new favorite pillow and Derek didn’t deny him any comfort he could provide; but around the early hour of the afternoon, they put on nice clothes and hopped in Derek’s Camaro. This time, he gave Stiles no chance to drive it.

Twenty minutes went by, with Stiles singing incoherent lyrics along the radio's songs while Derek pulled over in her driveway. She rushed out worried there might be a new danger in town, but it all washed away when he saw the two stepping out with all the calm in the world washing over them.

“What are you two doing here?” Reached their ears as she invited them in. In her living room, they sat on the couch. For some reason she was the only one in the house and the couple was secretly glad for it.

“We have something to share and we wanted you to be the first to know” started off Stiles, hands running up and down his thighs; Derek was by his side but he knew the wolf was anxiously biting the inside of his cheek. Lydia didn't lose a grain of her composure and just nodded, waiting for the news.

Stiles looked behind his back, yearning for Derek’s presence to reassure him everything was fine. ‘Damn, now I am the nervous freak and you are apparently so calm… But I know you feel it too, but damn you could show it a bit. No, you leave me all the work.’ His mind rushed a thought that was soon swiped away; Derek’s hand was on his back, he gave Stiles a little nod.

“So, maybe we kept this to ourselves for a bit, but it's time to say we have been together for almost a year now.” His voice was hesitant on the last few words, not sure she would be mad that he didn’t tell her although she seemed to be anything but angry. Lydia got on her feet in less than a blink of an eye; Derek didn’t say a word but stood as well in reflex.

She hugged him without giving it a second thought and the wolf wrapped his arms around her, “I'm glad you are happy for us” his voice soft as she never heard it. “How could I not be? Stiles, come one and stand up too!” Filled with joy, the two of them hugged as well. “Thanks Lydia, it means a lot to us.”

They spent a little over an hour in her company, sharing little memories of their time together and answering Lydia's questions about their relationship; Stiles expected her to be curious about him and Derek and he wouldn’t have had it any other way, especially when it was Lydia.

Once everything was cleared and Lydia had the most wholesome smile Stiles had ever seen on her, they shared goodbyes and the couple went back to the Camaro. “Next Cora?” Derek turned on the engine, revving the V8 for the pleasure of the sound.

“If she's in town” and they went their way over to her place. Stiles was more worried about her reaction than anyone else's. “Do you think she's gonna be happy or she'll kill me off immediately?” He genuinely needed to know before going into a wolf's den.

“Stiles, darling, she likes you already and after you tell her we are together, well…” Derek took a right turn and gave in some gas, the car's rear tires losing friction for a second; Stiles gripped the seat for a moment, looking over at the man driving, but said nothing. “She is gonna be happy for us, I know she will.”

Derek's speech regarding his sister warmed Stiles’ heart and calmed his raging mind. By the time they were knocking on her door, he wasn't sweating as much as he expected. Holding his mate's hand, they waited to find out if she was home or not.

Much to their surprise, she was. Just as Peter had said. “Hi Cora, can we come in? We got some news.” Stiles’ palms were already sweating though and his heart was pumping too much blood, but she was calm despite the fact she could hear the punching rhythm. “Yeah, come in.” And they all went inside.

Yet again in another living room, they went through the usual greetings and questions until Cora finally asked them what the news was about. Legs twitching just enough, Stiles started to share their relationship. “So, we simply wanted to tell you we are dating, have been for almost a year.”

His heart pounding in his chest gave his nervousness away but Cora could really just smell it in his scent, which was why she wore a pleasant smile to calm him down; Derek gave her a thankful look, knowing his sister was aware the younger one was hiding his fear. “I'm happy for the both of you, Stiles.” Was all she allowed herself to say.

Feeling like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders, he cracked a silly joke without even noticing it. “And here we are sister, glad to have it in the family.” She gave him a bewildered look, “don't take the arm from the finger, Stiles” but she was mocking him to get him to ease further.

The wolves both knew how much Cora really liked and enjoyed Stiles’ company despite her tough manner, and once he went in the kitchen to fetch them all some water as a family gesture, Derek spoke out loud about it.

“I'm glad you are happy for us, Cora. And I can tell you are gonna stick around a bit, or at least I hope so.” They were sitting on the couch, she was trying to hide how happy she was while Derek smiled openly for her to see they were all together in the matter, 'we are family, and so is Stiles.’

She finally let down her walls as Stiles walked back in sight, he had never seen her so happy, ‘well, happy in general.’ He gave them all their water and sat down between the two, “I’m glad you didn’t kill me, you know?” Was all Stiles said while Derek leaned his head over his shoulder. The alpha had a concerned expression on his face but he hid it well, only his eyes could’ve been a sign.

“Oh right, bet you didn’t tell him, did you?” She smiled and drank a bit, then left the glass on the coffee table, laughing a bit at her brother; his expression of confusion was priceless to her. “Nope, kept it for the two of us,” confessed Stiles, having a careful smile on his face. He was happy but a bit scared as well, it was Cora after all.

“What are you two hiding?” Derek came back from his hiding spot by Stiles’ side, emerging from the couch as well to join the conversation. His sister and his mate both looked his way, then exchanged a little look, after which Cora finally spoke. “Oh, I just told him not to hurt you anyhow a long time ago,” she explained and then added “and Stiles?” He looked her way, waiting. “The deal is still ongoing, hurt him once and you are dead.”

His expression fell to the floor, “but we are family!?” He turned his whole body in her direction, speechless. She didn’t say anything and the siblings laughed, both knowing it wasn’t going to happen.

Once laughter left them, her memory served her with something. “Wait a second you two” and they both stared at her, “did you go full on bullshit on me when I asked you if you were together?” The couple looked at one another, covering their mouths to hide the new coughs that were coming.

“Maybe” responded Derek and his sister just smiled to the ground, not even being bothered by it as she saw far enough to be right in the end; but she didn't let them be without a payback. “Next time you pull something similar, neither of you will be glad to have it in the family” and they all laughed after it.

They chatted a little more that evening and around 5 PM they decided it was time to go; after all they had to go grocery shopping for the dinner with Peter that they planned two days from then. So, they waved goodbyes and Cora surprisingly hugged Stiles while Derek was starting the car.

In his ear she whispered something he’ll never forget: “I’m glad it’s you.”

They said nothing more and he went away with a huge smile on his face. ‘It’s nothing, it’s nothing’ he kept saying in his mind as he felt tears of joy coming to the surface.

Driving for a few more minutes, they brought what they needed and went home. The days after were lived with joy as both Lydia and Cora were happy for them; Stiles kept replaying the moments to the other, every time noticing something different. How Lydia was happy and somehow maybe already knew about them, how Cora initially scared him but was just being a loving sister to Derek.

And then that fateful night came; Stiles was preparing himself to share the news and more than anything, he noticed how calm he was about delivering the announcement to Peter. But little did he know what he was in for, especially after they were all seated at the table, while Derek was handing out their plates, his mind went over how the old wolf stole their dinner…

Uncle and nephew were drinking at their usual bar and the old wolf invited himself the second he heard Derek talking about Stiles’ homemade meals and how good they were, so he just decided to try them out for himself.

“He has this habit of cooking dinner whenever he decides to spend the night at the loft,” was how it started.

“Why does he do that?” Peter was drinking his mojito while seated in their usual seats. They developed this habit of hanging out together after the old man finally decided to stop being a bastard and just be somewhat nice to people, but you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Derek gave no answer and his uncle just asked the only thing he cared about. “How does he cook? Is it good or does he poison you every now and then?” Derek almost laughed then and there but kept quiet, drinking his own beer in turn. “He’s pretty good,” was all he said and Peter didn’t believe his nephew’s words. So, after a while and their glasses were empty, he finally spoke while they were walking home.

“Fine, I’ll try it out myself, I’ll let you know when I’ll pass by for dinner” and he was gone, turning right to his apartment and leaving Derek speechless and without a chance to argue. ‘Stiles is gonna be either pissed or amused,’ he thought to himself as he walked all the way home without saying a word back to his uncle.

Once in the loft, Stiles was waiting for him and the wolf told the boy everything that happened on the countertop of the bar and how Peter decided to barge in their home uninvited, but Stiles laughed it off. “Let him come, we’re gonna have fun” and that settled it.

So, Peter was by then in their loft, a few weeks later and he didn’t need a supernatural nose to smell in the air some news was on its way.

Downplaying his game, the old wolf immediately knew something was up. “So, what’s the big deal now? Fancy dinner at my nephew’s house, plus much per my request with the spaz,” his eyes went to Stiles for a second and then he spoke again. “And he has a look on him too so it surely means news.”

He pointed his finger at both of them, one at the time. “And let me tell you,” the couple looked to each other, kind of shocked by Peter, “I’m not fighting a bunch of alphas, so no; thanks for dinner though.” His plate was more inviting than any bad news so he concentrated on it, not really saying much else.

He started eating while the other two were speechless and stone still; Derek cracked a laugh before Stiles and his uncle looked back up from his plate. “What?” The old wolf was head low over his plate, fork in hand with pasta on it, waiting to be eaten. “Peter, we are not here to ask you to fight, we have another type of news.” Stiles took a bite of his own plate and Peter’s head perked up.

“Then say it, what are you waiting for?” Was all he said as he ate with an unbothered expression and Stiles decided to mimic him. Derek kept quiet the whole time with Lydia and Cora, but he seemed to want to be part of the fun. “We are together, as a couple.”

Both Stiles and Peter’s forks fell on the table, the wolf’s more dramatic as he found it fit for his own charisma. The boy looked over to his mate, mouth agape as he didn’t expect him to say it straight like that.

Under the table, Stiles held his hand and Derek’s eyes shot him a look of appreciation, ‘for everything’ he was meaning to say through the hold he had on his mate’s hand.

But soon they both realized Peter was still there, in silence. They thought he was going to make a big fuss about it, especially Derek even though his uncle’s scent was flat, as if he hadn't digested the news yet. Eyes going from each other to Peter, Stiles found the best option to bring his attention back to the present.

“Peter?” No one was eating, the wolf’s eyes were wide and he stood up, walking in circles behind his chair, contemplating and ravishing his hand through his head, the other supported his movement by resting on his hip. Stiles looked over at Derek, “typical pose of someone who’s questioning their life.”

His words were barely audible and luckily Peter either didn’t pay any mind to it or simply didn’t hear them. Derek smiled a bit at his mate, his attempt to ease the situation worked for them both.

Stopping in his tracks, Peter turned to face them. “Finally” was all he said and it shocked the two even more. “It took you that long to say that?” Derek kept holding Stiles’ hand under the table as he spoke, his uncle didn’t sit back down though. “Finally!” He screamed a second time; the other two were even more confused and stunned.

“What, Peter?” Decided to ask Stiles; he wanted to eat his pasta, it was getting cold and Derek hid a little laugh as he read the frustration in his mate’s scent. “Finally you’re in the family! Now, are you gonna take the bite?”

Stiles’ eyes showed his annoyance at his persistence over the bite, “no, Peter. I’m not, now sit down and eat.” And they did, the couple laughing a little when the older wolf admitted his defeat. “It didn’t hurt to try.”

Their dinner finally went on and over, Peter kept chanting his approval every chance he got; it made Derek smirk and Stiles felt both proud and embarrassed to hear every single thought that shot through the old wolf’s mind. But once everything was done, Derek was already on the couch enjoying Stiles and Peter’s little fight more than the show on the TV.

“Peter!” Stiles threw his arms by his sides, angrily shocked as he played his part of the play. “I’m telling you, gold is more of your color than brown, wouldn’t you like Derek to be your alpha?” He put a bit too much emphasis on the last part and the younger one blushed, walked over the couch to pick a pillow and threw it on his face.

“Aren’t you gonna do anything about him?” He asked Derek as Peter shot the pillow back, hitting his head. Stiles looked back for a second with fire in his eyes, “sorry, sorry” Peter immediately said with hands in the air, one more defeat on his board. “Family” Derek remarked and caught Stiles’ body in his arms, pulling him on the couch with him.

“And it’s Peter, he’s just full of crap.” The comment shocked them both, Stiles amazed he could say something like that and Peter simply offended, “nephew, care to explain?” But no one said anything after that.

Moments later, when no one was battling anyone, Peter stole Stiles’ container full of pasta and ran out the door. “Good night you two fools in love.” Both of them blushed and laughed at Peter’s words.

They spent the night cuddling and kissing on the couch, happy their friends and family were happy for them, but before they went to sleep that night, a thought came across Stiles’ mind.

“What about Scott? Should we go tomorrow evening?” And being too joyful and sure it was going to be okay, the wolf agreed. “It’s going to be alright,” was all Derek said to Stiles in the comfort of their home.

As they fell asleep in each other’s arms, Stiles kept thinking about it and Derek felt his mind running a marathon even from under the sheet. From his position in bed, his head in the boy’s chest, his words came out low but his lover found them reassuring regardless. “It’s going to be good, I’ll fight him if I have to anyway. I’m keeping you, no matter what.”

Stiles looked down his chest and the wolf looked up, the younger one gave him a kiss on the forehead, “thank you” and they fell asleep but his ears immediately heard something he never even considered possible.

“Are you purring?” His voice bewildered and full of joy at such a pretty, unexpected discovery. “Shut up or I'm gonna stop,” Derek warned. “Fine, fine” Stiles obliged. He fell asleep as the only thing he could think of was Derek hiding the fact he could purr.

Morning came and so did the evening, Stiles didn’t know if he could feel any more excited than that to tell someone about the most beautiful news he could share. He ran down the stairs pulling Derek behind himself, took the Jeep and started it as the wolf knew it was going to be a tough drive. But luckily for him, they arrived at Scott’s place sooner than planned and all in one piece.

Stiles knocked on the door and Scott was there to open the door like he knew they were coming; they hugged like brothers and the alphas greeted with a simple hand shake; the boy knew it was a rough path but one he wanted to take anyway. Just like that, they all went inside as his friend gestured for them to follow along.

“Guess you are here to tell me something, right?” Scott didn’t even give them the time to sit anywhere, all of them standing in the living room. He was on his feet with crossed arms and a flat expression, but no one cared much about his attempt to steal the happiness of the news.

“We are in a relationship.” Stiles’ voice didn’t lose any tone of joy and his lover was by his side, one hand on his back; he had a huge smile on his face expecting his best friend to drop his unreasonable hate for Derek and finally see how good they were for each other. But he surely didn’t think the same as them.

“Fine,” his voice had sharp edges as his arms fell by his sides and Stiles felt something was about to break.

“But you are staying in my pack.”

Stiles fell apart a little as Scott said the words, he couldn't believe his best friend couldn't simply be happy for him. “That’s really all you can say to me when I just told you I’m in a relationship? Is that all you care about?” His words didn’t hit the alpha in the slightest.

But, the alpha behind him had his own say in the matter. “He’s in mine.” It was a firm statement he wasn’t backing down from. Stiles noticed his eyes shot red behind him. The hand on his back felt more possessive, but not in a harmful way.

Scott made the first step towards them and Stiles didn’t want a fight to start under anyone's roof. His hands went on Derek's chest, pushing him to stay back when he walked towards the alpha as well. “Stop it” Stiles voice was a thin sentence, he didn’t want his best friend and his boyfriend to fight.

Stiles was facing Derek, his back to Scott. He heard his friend’s words harsh and rough, “he's been in mine since the start.”

He searched for Derek’s eyes and when he met them, he saw he was calm despite it all. ‘...Anchor’ came up in Stiles’ mind. But his eyes were still bright red.

“I can choose who to stay with.” He looked over his shoulder, his eyes locked with Scott’s, his irises were red as well, threatening almost. He crossed his arms, trying to get Stiles to see how serious he was about the pack situation. But Stiles didn’t back off.

Scott waited for him to say something that would prove them all that he was right, that Stiles had and will always be in the McCall pack, but those words never came. “Why do you want him in your pack anyway? You're just his… Boyfriend.”

The disgust in Scott’s voice broke Stiles’ heart a little and he faced him even if the words were meant for Derek. His eyes were a vibrant red the boy would've been afraid of if he didn't know him as well as he did, but his own eyes were beginning to form tears; the betrayal of a friend he didn’t expect, not from Scott.

A hand went over his hip, comforting and strong. Derek couldn't handle Stiles to be hurt, but he knew he couldn’t go against Scott when he was his mate's best buddy. So he just went for the direct approach they talked about a few days before.

“Because he's my mate.”

Scott didn’t move, he didn’t know what it meant but Stiles did. They never said anything about sharing it and they never brought it up, yet something in his heart made him proud, it made him feel safe exactly where he was. Derek's fakely furious eyes were back to their greenery color, his mate saw it as he looked over his shoulder.

The wolf’s expression was placid and docile, his eyes green and his pose wasn't to warn anyone about anything; Stiles was yet again amazed by how much Derek relied on him to stay calm. But Scott didn't let them be, “what does it mean, Stiles?”

He didn’t bother much anymore, he leaned back on Derek; both the wolf’s hands went around his hips thinking he was falling, trying to keep him standing. The alpha had his eyes firmly on Stiles’ figure, not caring about Scott, just worried for his mate and that's when he realized what he was doing.

Instead of talking it out about being mates, Stiles decided to show it and even if he didn't understand, it wasn't his problem to explain his relationship to anyone who had no business in it. The only words that fell from his lips set the argument straight.

“I'm with him.”

Scott’s arms fell to his sides, not wanting to fight anymore, not caring almost. But Stiles had something else to say as well. “When you back off from your alpha shit you know where to find me; I'll wait like a good friend would.”

They didn't even have to talk to one another and simply walked out the door, leaving Scott standing in the living room. The ride back home was silent.

‘Maybe I should've done it differently’ was all Stiles could think about, but it was soon set that it was going down like that either way. “He's gonna come back begging, he doesn't have it in himself to leave you.” Derek's comment left him hanging.

“How do you know?” In the passenger seat, he leaned his body sideways to look at the other, it was around dinner time and his attitude was beginning to show symptoms of tiredness. “Because if I can't leave you, I know he won't either.”

Derek's words put his mind at ease and so did the hand on his knee, reassuring him of everything. He ended up falling asleep in the car and the wolf had to carry him bridal style inside their home. “You'd be either blushing or giggling if you were awake, but maybe that's for another day.” The staircase heard his words while no one else did.

Inside the loft the air was colder than outside; Derek laid him on the couch and kissed him goodnight. The sleeping boy woke up only when he heard his boyfriend shaking his shoulder, an attempt to wake him up, “dinner is ready” put him on his feet.

They ate in calm and silence, Stiles had some residue of sleep in his body which made his movements slow; Derek watched every one of them until their plates were basically empty and something came out his mouth without him even noticing it. “Do you think we should tell my dad too?”

Derek was dumbfounded for a long second before he picked himself up again and looked in his mate’s eyes, somewhat hopeful that his father would be their number one fan or something better than whatever his best friend was pulling on him.

“Maybe we should tell him another time, maybe after we…” But his words trailed off, disappearing as they came to answer Stiles, yet the boy was quick to understand despite the sleepy look he had all over his features. One hand went over the table and held one of the wolf’s.

He didn’t finish his sentence, he knew there was no need for it anyhow, so he just agreed. “Yeah, so he also won’t make me homeless since I’ll basically have this place for myself” and the last part was filled with chuckles filling the air between them.

He kept holding his hand gently, as if to say ‘I get it all’ and he proved it day after day while his boyfriend cracked another laugh of his own. “You already have this, remember?” His hint drove their mind back to their little date in the woods and Stiles couldn’t help but add more to the small fire between them.

“But I’ll have a pretty mark to show in order to prove it if Peter wants to throw me out one day,” they ended up filling their dinner time with laughs and shy looks from one of them to the other. Finishing their plates shortly after, they both ended up in their bed a few hours before midnight.

The boy’s mind went over his relationship with his father, how he was hiding Derek from him and how he hadn't really seen him a while since he had been spending more of his time to the loft with his boyfriend; yet the thoughts went away as always, the wolf by his side always swiped them away without even knowing. But it didn’t mean his mind was empty.

Stiles’ eyes were staring at the ceiling, one arm over his head lost in thought, the other around Derek’s waist. It went there on its own and the wolf noticed some dizziness in his sore eyes. “What are you thinking about?” Their ritual of one talking and the other listening always came in handy; the wolf nourished it every time he got a chance to bring it back, no matter the reason.

Head tilting to the left, eyes saw the wolf laying on his side, his strong figure being gently placed on top of his own smaller one. “What Peter said after dinner and what you said about me being in your pack.” His answer was flat, even his scent was too mixed to get anything clear out of it. ‘You feel so many things all at once…’ thought the wolf as it hit his nostrils.

Scoping his head higher on the other’s chest, Derek placed a hand on his neck, caressing the skin and melting in Stiles’ arms. The wolf inside of him made him try anything to comfort his mate. His nose stroked the side of his neck; in his action Stiles knew all he meant was safety and closure, ‘talk to me’ was the plea hidden in the silence.

“Peter said the thing about you being my alpha and then there’s you fighting for me to be in your pack.” He paused, the hand over his head fell, he moved to hold Derek’s free hand and placed their joined fingers on his stomach. “You were proud of us acting as mates…” Stiles let out the little details impressed in his mind from the evening.

The wolf held his hand tighter, “yes…” His voice tired but somehow awake just for Stiles. They were both being called by the night to close their eyes and rest, but that would have to wait. “The way I leaned on you and how you caught me…” Voice was lost in the shadows but Derek still got every word. His brows shot up in question.

“It’s just… Peter said you’d be my alpha if I got the bite, but…” Sighing, his shoulder got tense and the wolf calmly raised himself on his elbows, the hand that wasn’t on Stiles’ stomach caressed his upper arm. He got back right where he left off, “the way you are with me… The… I don’t know, let’s say the submissive part of you.” They locked eyes and Derek felt fear coming afloat, he wanted to tell Stiles about it, but he wasn’t fully ready yet.

“That’s the part you show me, the part you hide from everyone… And it makes me wonder about things,” his words fell into the silence; Derek said the only thing he could think of without having to share the little part he was trying to save for another time. His lungs filled with air, it brought Stiles’ attention to him.

“You are my alpha…” He said the words like he was guilty in court, his head lowered and turned opposite to Stiles. A soft smile came to the other’s lips, gentle and understanding; fingers brought their eyes back together as the boy guided his head back towards him. “This is who I am” quietly muttered the wolf, feeling like he was lying to his mate.

‘I promise I’ll tell you everything about it… Just give me some more time, please.’

And as if Stiles heard his thoughts, his words were filled with unconditional love Derek never felt being poured on himself. “And I love you as you are, simply for who you are…” His movements were too quick for Derek to catch step by step, but he followed them all until he was on his back, Stiles on top of him, almost caging him between his legs and arms.

“And I know there’s something more to it, I know you know it too, but I’ll wait for you to be ready.” He kissed his forehead while he caressed his cheek. “Whenever you are, I’ll listen… For now, I’ll just be yours however you want me.” His words put a soft veil of calmness over the wolf’s heart. His mate being so comprehensive and caring, after years of abuse, felt like he was given back his innocence.

His legs parted some more, knees reaching Stiles’ hips, his arms around his neck, Derek whispered in the crock of his neck. “I love you… A lot, more than you know.” He admitted and Stiles gave him a more passionate kiss, sliding in the other’s mouth his tongue, never forgetting Derek’s comfort and assuring he was feeling good.

‘I don’t want you to be scared of us anymore.’

Derek kissed him back and gave his mate full access to his mouth. Slowly, Stiles was given control of the whole situation and he knew his lover was trusting him with everything: his past, his trust, the thing he wasn’t ready to share yet… His heart.

“I got you.” Stiles said the words with a sort of steadiness the other never heard, even with hypnotizing eyes. Derek bared his neck to him in a slow pace, the other noticed the subtle motion and gave him a kiss there.

They kissed until they fell asleep, hands explored stomachs and backs, Derek let Stiles caress his abdomen and received a few stray kisses there. His lips were warm on his skin despite how hot he was himself, “never leave me” he said as Stiles was leaving another kiss. “Never” his mate hurried to warm up his skin with his own like he didn’t want his mate to not feel his love.

Night came at full force and so did exhaustion a few hours past midnight, which ended with Stiles holding Derek in his arms. His fingers never left his lower back and stomach, always caressing the skin there, which was starting to turn rosy.

Derek nuzzled his nose in Stiles’ neck. “I’m glad it’s you.”

“And I’m glad I get to hold you like no one else ever will.” Stiles pulled him impossibly close.

The little hint of possessiveness in his words sent a shiver down Derek’s spine.

‘I want it to be you, I want you to be my mate.’

‘I’d do anything to get you to be mine, and as silly as it sounds, I want us to last forever.’

Both were thoughts that left their mouths during their last kiss they had that night.

Chapter Text

Neither of them minded when, in the span of little over two months, Derek’s loft also became Stiles' home, especially since he had picked the habit of basically living there anyway; but with living under the same roof, they had to host more than two.

As usual, the pack met in the loft; more than one solid pack, it was two litters together. In their living room, Scott, Isaac and Lydia were standing around the furniture. On a table they brought out for the occasion, sheets of paper and maps covered its surface, everyone's eyes on them.

Peter somehow was there too, as if he had sneaked his way into the mixture of packs, sitting on the stairs, away from most. “Why don't we run away? It'd be much easier.” Was his only comment regarding the Darach that was hunting down all of them along with their families.

“It would come for us anyway.” Lydia reminded him, foot tapping on the ground and arms crossed; they couldn't find a solution anyhow. All the while, as the four of them put their heads into the matter, Stiles and Derek were doing the same on the couch.

Both sat there in fake peace, legs on the coffee table, not really paying attention to much of what was going on. Derek had his head on Stiles’ shoulder, who had an arm wrapped around the wolf’s lower back. “What do you think it'll do now, Scott?” With eyes half closed, the boy said the only thing he had in mind.

Roaming behind the couch, his best friend had his arms crossed as well, sealed in deep thinking. “Maybe… maybe we just have to wait for it to make a move and then see where to go from there?” Scott kept pacing like a madman behind them, engraving his footsteps on the floor.

Isaac sat on a chair he took from the kitchen. “Is it really our only option?” His eyes were worried but confident, as if whatever happened, they would overcome it. Then the door opened, someone else decided to join them during such a tough time of decisions.

Hair straight and brown, eyes half closed in annoyance more than sleep. She walked towards them, scanning the room and deciding to sit next to Stiles. The three of them, counting Derek as well, exchanged a warm smile, their silent way of greeting without much regard for the others; Hale’s house after all.

“Glad you could make it, Cora.” Derek had his arms crossed angrily but his soft eyes gave him away; happy to see his sister around them and kind of sticking with the Hale pack. Stiles had a bright smile on his lips, in his mind the memory of when they first announced their relationship to her; she was family to him as well.

Besides, his words for her were comical. “Hey, sis! What you say about this bastard Darach?” The mocking tone of gangster coming from Stiles displayed to them all just how much he was worried for Scott and Derek; they all knew the Alpha pack was back for them. All the while, Peter just gave her a pleasant look, his face stone cold but his lips perked a smile she was mildly annoyed by.

“I say we wait, but whoever they are, they will come here to destroy our home, we should give them a welcoming treatment when they kick down the door.” Looks were thrown around the room as her suggestion was being taken into consideration, soon enough they all agreed to it.

“Smart Cora, glad to be part of the Hale family” was all Stiles whispered to her as they all nodded to the plan Scott and Derek put together moments later. The meeting was practically over apart from the fact they simply stayed some more, enjoying each other’s company.

Derek and Stiles on the couch, Cora by the younger's side, the others talking while Peter sneaked out just like he did to enter. “Stiles…” She called his attention, his fingers stroking his boyfriend’s back stalled for a second, the wolf made a grumpy face in response.

“What?” He wished it was nothing serious, her tone was flat but somehow fearful of something,then with eyes low she talked again counting on the fact everyone was too busy to overhear her words. “It's Derek's scent… Has he told you about it yet?”

His brows crunched in confusion, which was soon put aside as some dots connected in his head; but he didn't say much of anything, “no, he hasn't. But I believe he will with time.” Her eyes were hopeful for something Stiles could only begin to imagine.

Their conversation seemed to not have bothered Derek in the slightest, in fact Stiles gave Cora a questioning look. “Those fingers on his back are probably close to overwhelm his senses, he doesn't even hear Scott courting Isaac.” She moved to get up, the two she mentioned looked down, their cheeks blushing but no one bat an eye.

Cora went out the door waving a simple goodnight, it was around 7 PM on a Saturday and her place by the couple’s side was soon occupied by Lydia. “Stiles, tell me the truth.” Her demand was firm but gentle, the friend by her side was beginning to smile like a child that just got permission to talk about dinosaurs.

“We are going out to celebrate our first anniversary.”

“You do have the brightest smile I've ever seen” was all she said looking at him, going in to hug him and he did the same with his free arm. “You don’t know how happy I am.” His face got red like pepper and Derek moved a bit by his side, catching his mate's attention.

One of his legs went over Stiles’, his nose close to the other's neck while his arms went more placid, falling a little over his figure. “Oh, I know how happy you are.” Derek's lips were clouds on his mate’s collarbone as he talked and the boy just smiled even more, hiding it in black hair. Lydia let them be and went over to the others.

Meanwhile, Scott gave Derek a sinister look he didn't pay any attention to, ‘protective of your bestie now, Scott? It's a bit too late but I appreciate nevertheless’ Stiles commented with no words. His fingers never stopped drawing patterns on his alpha's lower back.

The tips of his fingers were electric on Derek's Venus’ dimples, they sent shivers up his spine and he moved closer to Stiles’ side. The alpha wasn't worried the others might say anything about it, he knew the boy would probably bite their asses off if they tried; even so, only one of the people present could do something remotely close to set Stiles off.

In the span of a quarter hour, Isaac and Lydia left, leaving Scott behind, he had something to say and Stiles was all ears for it. Derek didn't even blink, he might've been an alpha but Stiles was just as much of it if anyone asked him. The wolf’s trust in his mate was over the moon.

“What is it, Scott?” Stiles didn’t move, waiting for his friend to say something; anything, for all he cared, especially since he knew his dear friend had a ‘problem’ with him dating Derek. The wolf by his side was calm and resting, Stiles just kept caressing him. “I'm just looking out for you, man” was all his best friend said standing in front of them.

“I think I can do that myself, you don’t have anything to worry about.” His eyes passed the message, but so did the words he said later. “I won't break up with him,” Derek’s heart skipped a beat as he didn’t expect Stiles to lay it flat for Scott, “and I understand you are trying to be a good friend, but this is none of your business.”

Scott didn’t say anything else, just gave it up and left as well, leaving them alone in the quiet of their home. Stiles kept trying to figure out why he couldn't simply be happy for him but his train of thoughts stopped; Derek held his free hand and kissed the back of it, “don’t stress over it, whether he likes it or not.” He kissed his lips and they locked eyes, “this is not going to change.”

“Yeah, you are right…” His body went from nervous to relaxed, Derek being so confident and open about them to the point of showing others without feeling embarrassed made Stiles’ mind silent. They spent another hour on the couch until it was time to prepare for their big day.

In their bedroom, clothes flew left to right as they both went for a classic jeans and shirt combo and arms were pulled to get bodies to come closer, “can you wait until we got home after dinner for this?” Stiles said as Derek aimed for his neck time after time. “Push me away, then.”

The wolf stopped his ministrations and waited for his mate to answer him. “Never.” More kisses and clothes flew over the bed until the clock hit the hour and finally, they were in the Camaro, all clean and shiny for the occasion.

Yet, the driver’s seat was won by Stiles and Derek was praying to get around safely. “Stiles, darling, we are not late, you know that right?” His feet were positioned like he was driving, with a foot pressed on the brake. “Yeah, I know. But I like to drive your car.” The admission had something else to it, Derek could feel it in his scent.

“That’s not all.” His remark made the other talk in no time, “yeah, I also like to scare the crap out of you.” He smiled as silly as a kid would. Derek fell in love a bit more and the boy could feel it in the way the wolf was starting to enjoy the ride. They arrived twenty minutes early and took it as a gift, it was enough time for Stiles to give Derek a little payback for the mess of clothes they left on their bed.

They finally made it inside the diner, Derek hiding small laughs as Stiles’ was tickling him without a stop. Once inside, the place was half empty and a girl walked them to their table; by the window, they could see the main street outside, then they sat on each side of the old-fashioned table.

It all screamed of a classic 90s diner: from the red puffed seats to the chromed bar stools, the old jukebox close to their table was playing a soft song. The menu had classics and news they were familiar with, but they both ordered a cheeseburger with fries. “This might be a date, but who's stopping us from enjoying this as we want?”

Stiles' words were the purest form of freedom Derek had ever heard, “nobody, so let's get this going.” The wolf said as the waitress arrived and took their order, she understood right away what they were celebrating. Her smile was filled with joy for whatever reason they weren't aware of. Blond hair and dark eyes, she was just a teen working an extra shit, they both knew it just by looking at her.

After a few minutes of chitchat their plates arrived, delivered by the same kind girl, the name tag read ‘Giselle’. As they ate, catching the occasional car passing by the road, people were starting to leave. It was around 10:30 PM and only them and a few other tables were still occupied.

Later on, once they were done, they were just talking a bit, deciding who should pay in a battle of who can smash the card harder on the table. But before they could even think about it, Giselle served them two slices of cake, “it's on the house, enjoy.” She winked and they smiled at her. It was unexpected.

It was close to closing time and they were the only one left, but Giselle showed no rush to get them out of the diner. Instead, she simply put things away on the counter and let them enjoy their date. Once their dessert was gone, the plates went away too but Giselle, once again, put on them no rush.

Their conversation drifted from the reactions of their friends to a silly dance in the loft, “we should put on some old music and dance like in a film.” Stiles mimicked the motion with his fingers dancing on the table, “it would fit us well, don't you think?” He finished his little interpretation in miniature size and Derek was looking at him mesmerized; he couldn't phantom in his mind how someone like Stiles could be his.

But the thought went away, the arm supporting his chin was starting to go numb and Stiles was giggling at the wolf, “you look like you're an actor in a 90s romance movie,” one hand went over his mouth as to cover his smile, that comment made him laugh and Derek joined in too. “Sure as hell I'm in a love movie with you sitting there.” From laughs it went to blushed cheeks and shy smiles.

Giselle overheard their conversation and decided a piece of cake wasn't going to cut it, so she did something the couple didn't even think about happening. “I have to go in the back for a bit, don't steal anything or I'm calling the cops, alright?” It was a mocking warning since she winked at them, both surprised by how gentle a stranger could be.

Eyes locked and their minds went the same way; Stiles fished some pennies from his pockets, Derek was already in front of the jukebox reading out loud the titles in there. “Hey, darling…” The boy was already by the wolf's side, his finger pointing on the glass of the jukebox to a title.

“Mh… ‘Just the two of us’ by Bill W.&Grover W. Jr. … I think you found our 90s song.” Stiles put in the pennies and the jukebox came to life, colored lights went over the cabin with the vinyls. Derek selected the song and the mechanical arm put it on the player. Soon enough, the diner was filled with a love song they've never heard before, but they were sure they'd enjoy it anyway.

Laughs came and filled the blanks of the notes but not before they were dancing around the tunes of the jukebox. Arms around neck and waist, Derek led the dance much to Stiles’ surprise. “I didn't know you knew this type of dance,” at the words the wolf kissed his neck again and again, while the other tightened his arms circling the wolf’s shoulders, pushing their bodies impossibly closer.

“My mother taught me, she used to put songs on while we were in the kitchen.” Memories floated his mind but no sadness showed up; Stiles knew it as well and his comment lightened his mind, “I’m sure she’d be proud of you.” The wolf’s eyes showed love and gratitude, the dance had yet to start though. Spinning Stiles around in the space between the counter and the tables, Derek held his mate’s waist and the singer was starting his first round of lovely words.

One foot back and one forward, Stiles followed Derek’s movements swaying around, never looking anywhere else if not in each other's eyes. No one was anywhere to be seen, no cars passed since the clock was reaching midnight and the suburbs of Beacon Hills were empty.

No thoughts occupied either of their minds, everything was shared in the dim light the diner provided. “We should make this a habit of ours.” Stiles’ suggestion was met with the alpha’s eyes flashing their signature red, “we sure will.” And the dance went on.

“They suit you, the red… Maybe it makes you look scary and angry, but it’s still pretty.” Derek didn’t think much of it, his mate was always showering him with affection and praises, “would you love the blue too?”

His question gave him the chance to trust Stiles even more about telling him about the omega, all the while he was putting together even more dots, but he didn’t have anything to connect them all to. “I’d love you with any eye color you could have, you’d still be you to me.” The words rocked Derek’s heart and just like that he knew his mate could understand him, completely.

Another line came from the singer, a soft promise they swore to each other the moment they heard it, leaving for another time the ice blue of someone’s eye. They kissed, tangling their bodies as much as they could without falling, one of Stiles’ hands went much lower and rubbed the side of Derek's thigh. His fingers followed the sew line of his jeans, trailing around it and then gently gripping tender muscles.

Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

Derek’s face flashed a shade of red and he found a little hiding stop in his beloved's neck, “you really do enjoy my neck in more than one way, don't you baby?” Teased Stiles a little, his other hand caressed the other’s neck in reassuring motions, always thinking about his comfort before anything else. The wolf stuttered a bit, “yes” was all he said in response and Stiles immediately knew what to say next, but he felt small bites being placed on his shoulder, following the line of his collarbone.

And among all the things he could’ve said in that moment, he didn’t say anything. Stiles was aware there was something going unsaid between them, so while he kept for himself the little comment about Derek's little ‘soon to be told’ secret, knowing it was another dot and another time, Stiles left another one out.

“I like it when you get possessive with me… You do it so gently, lovingly.” The jackpot’s light went on and he could tell right away. Teeth marked skin but not enough to leave any type of bruise; “always so careful” also pointed out Stiles.

One of Derek’s hands went from his waist to his neck, thumb pushing slightly on the boy’s throat, feeling his heartbeat under his finger. Stiles knew how to get under the wolf’s skin and was ready to say the words that would lead them there, but he had to let the song say something else first.

Good things might come to those who wait

[...]

We gotta go for all we know

He took in a deep breath and Derek’s attention was all over him; Stiles trailed his nose up the wolf’s neck, leaving a tray of kisses and bites, along with some hickeys despite knowing he would be the one with a neck covered in them regardless of his efforts.

“Let me pay you back.” His words hit the mark as Derek gave him access to his neck; Stiles could tell how much he enjoyed it by how deep his fingers were digging in his waist, just below his scar.

“You have any idea what you are doing right now, darling?” The whisper was barely audible over the music, but Stiles caught every last letter of it. Lips went over the side of Derek’s neck and along his throat, the hand on his thigh ran high but never too high for his comfort, “always so careful, too.” Derek whispered back at him, in response to earlier. He could feel Stiles smiling on his neck trying to hide just as the wolf did before, but he made no remarks about it, he wanted to enjoy their time.

Stiles tried to give him a little answer, his other hand trailed down too, going around his waist as well and lips went closer to his ear, “scenting, isn’t it?” And from Derek’s mouth fell a little whimper in response, almost totally hidden by the song, yet the boy wanted to hear more of it but knew he couldn't run things too far. He could tell the song was close to the end.

Surprising the wolf, both his hands went to his waist and Stiles pulled him closer, their hips crashing together. He leaned on him as the wolf leaned backwards; Stiles rested his chin on Derek’s chest, eyes conveyed all his love, “you’re like a muse for an artist.” The wolf turned to the side, looking somewhere else as to hide a blushing reaction, both hands were on his mate’s sides, feeling his ribcage. They muffled a lovely laugh and the boy spoke again, “you are, there’s no denying how gorgeous you are.”

Derek pulled him back up so they could stand face to face, he shut him up with a kiss and blushed cheeks. “Just as you are,” was all he said as they danced following the last few tunes, but before it could end with the last string of lyrics, Stiles murmured something in his ear “I’d love you no matter what.” Then, the song ended, with the words he had in his heart from the moment he stayed with Derek after Erica’s death.

We can make it just the two of us

Let's get it together, baby

The song ended, the jukebox turned off leaving nothing but silence mixed with the buzzing sound of old light bulbs to fill the diner. Giselle surprisingly returned just in time from her trip in the back, her smile shy and happy as her eyes noticed the small, rosy hickeys that were starting to show on Stiles’ neck, but he didn’t hide them. He showed them with pride and Derek never stopped holding his waist.

Giselle, sweet soul as she was and as they both knew her to be, said one last thing as they all prepared to head out. “It’s all on the house, guys. Enjoy the rest of the night, hope I’ll see you around.”

In the parking lot, they all waved goodbyes and they both waited for her to get in her car, then jumped in the Camaro. Everyone headed home for the night, someone with other plans than others, but all equally happy.

In the car, Derek driving and Stiles smiling to himself, the younger one tried to dig just a bit deeper.

“So, about the scenting…” He waited for the other to say something, but he just looked at Stiles, smiling just as he did before. “What about it, darling?” His words were calm, like he was expecting his mate to bring it up. Being about fifteen minutes away from home, the boy figured he had enough time to investigate a bit.

“I didn’t read much about it, but from what I know,” palms ran up and down thighs, for some reason he found the topic somewhat intimate. “It’s like a way to tell others who…” He searched for a word that would fit but wouldn’t sound oddly objectifying. “Who you belong to…?” Stiles looked at Derek, the wolf was calm beyond reason.

But he didn’t say anything in response, he just kept driving and the younger one decided to actually ask a question. “Is it true? Is that what you do when you are all around my neck?” His eyes were glued to the wolf, who only had a smile on his face as he was taking a roundabout.

“All the time, do you mind now that you know about it?” Green eyes went over the skinny silhouette in the passenger seat. Stiles’ mind went through the question and came back with the perfect answer, “not at all, love it even more now.” Taking yet another turn and being close to the loft, Derek asked the last question for the car ride.

“You know why I do it?” He didn’t give Stiles the time to answer, his eyes lit up wanting to hear what Derek was about to say. “Because I want everyone to know it’s just you and me.”

By the time those words left his lips, they were parked beneath the loft, the engine shut off. As they made their way on the stairs and finally pushed the door open to go inside, Stiles was already making Derek shiver.

With the door behind his back, Derek was against it with Stiles caging him there. Slim fingers pressed along the line of the wolf’s spine, lips sucked the tender skin of his neck.

All Derek could master to say was what he left out from their conversation in the car; while he was kissing his mate, he let the words fall between them, like adding gasoline to a fire. “And I want people to know I belong to you.” Stiles looked in his eyes, noticing how they were shifting from lips to eyes. In his mate’s smile there was a little hint of possessiveness Derek didn’t mind.

“Stiles…” The wolf’s arms were circling the other’s shoulders, hovering above the younger’s back. His voice trembled slightly as he kept saying his name every time his mate was all around his neck.

“You like this, baby?” Stiles said as one hand went to the side of Derek’s neck, his lips felt like a veil of innocence he was given back.

Fingers went below Stiles’ chin and pulled his lips somewhere else, “yeah, but now I want this…” The confession had all shades of red to show on Derek’s face. The boy kissed him just like the other asked, first gently then with passion but only when the wolf pulled his body closer, demanding more.

In the other’s ear, Stiles whispered “everything you want, I’ll give you…” Derek flushed an even darker shade of red, but his mate kissed it away, not wanting him to feel anyhow embarrassed or shy about their intimate time together; his lips switched from the other’s to his shoulder, all the while making Derek shiver and whimper beneath his ministrations.

Stiles felt his mate’s hands on his shoulder blades and took off his shirt, giving him freedom to do as he wanted, letting him leave marks on his back. Then, lips went below the wolf’s ear, open mouthed kisses where a sharp jawline started; Stiles breathed the rest of his promise just above there. “...And even more.”

Derek’s lips quivered at his mate's words, his eyes went red for a split second and Stiles knew it meant he was hitting all the right spots. Keeping the other confined to the door, Stiles took hold of one of the wolf’s hands. guiding it from his back to his chest. His fingers trembled not knowing if he could, but Stiles just said what was needed, “all yours.”

Hands went around the boy’s chest, exploring with caution what he was being offered. Lips left a few stray kisses on Stiles’ collarbone, Derek placed one hand on the side of his ribs and the other above the heart.

Stiles held the wolf’s head in the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Derek bit leaving a solid mark, his mate grunted to the feeling and after the alpha saw it, he licked his skin to make sure it didn’t hurt. The boy was being so permissive with him, letting him do anything he wanted and Stiles let him know it was exactly what he could do. “That's it, you like what you got all for yourself?”

Derek bubbled a thin “yes” in between Stiles’ attack to get more kisses. Minutes went by, hands and lips explored skins and reactions, then the younger one offered something else, “you wanna try to take this to the next step?”

Derek stared into his eyes, thinking about it, if he could get more without breaking apart. “Yeah” was all he said and his boyfriend’s words reassured him in all the right ways, “we can stop anytime you want.”

Arms went around Stiles’ neck, he kissed Derek’s temple and then faced him. Foreheads pressed together, the boy started to kiss him again, feeling the alpha melt beneath his fingers, letting the love sink in. Derek’s hand went just below Stiles’ hip, close to his ass and his eyes flashed red, “come on” he teased and his mate took his sweet time with him.

One of his own hands traveled down the wolf’s body, gripping one of his thighs and pulling it up, knee reaching his own hip. Derek whimpered softly and covered his mouth as he was about to moan but didn’t want to let the other hear him. “Don’t hide anything from me.” Stiles made sure his mouth was free as he led that silencing hand to feel his neck.

Mouthing his collarbone, propping it with kisses, he slid a knee between the wolf’s legs. Derek's arms went instinctively around Stiles’ neck, holding him with strength; with nothing to stop his voice from coming out, he moaned close to his mate's ear. Fingers under the wolf’s chin, they locked eyes and Stiles saw irises staying red, buzzing with intensity.

“Stiles…” chanted Derek again, with his arms around the other's neck to support himself. Stiles didn’t say anything, but his hands sent the message; one kept its grip around the wolf’s thigh, holding it up, the other was now on his hip, pulling him further up the boy’s knee.

Lips went crashing on the younger one's, almost desperate to be put to some use. Stiles did as he was asked and provided some purpose, kissing and sliding his tongue in Derek’s mouth. The pressure between his legs was starting to build into something more, he moaned again when his mate tugged his leg up against him.

“Stiles…”

Hearing his name being moaned out by Derek awoke something in him. A bite found a place on the wolf’s shoulder, making him shiver as his head slowly rolled back, gently hitting the door. Yet, Stiles started to pull back, taking a few steps backwards, the wolf looked at him wondering if something happened. His eyes lost their red, fading in the blink of an eye.

“Did I do something wrong?” He immediately asked, his eyes showing fear as he took a hesitant step towards him; Stiles never loosened the hold on the wolf’s hip, guiding him to follow. He pulled the other closer, making Derek rest his head on his shoulder as he whispered in his ear, caressing soft hair.

“Everything’s okay baby, just going to the couch, okay?” He gave him a soft kiss in his messy strands of black, arms going around his body. “You did nothing wrong, relax. I’m here.” His words quickly sank in the alpha’s mind, body melting in Stiles’ embrace and when he gave his mate a playful bite on his slim shoulder, Derek took the lead just for a few steps.

Then, he was the one holding Stiles’ hand, pulling him along towards the couch. Once they finally got there between silly smiles from both and shy looks from Derek, the wolf laid on the soft cushions and the boy instinctively went on top of him, caging him for the second time that night; fingers found their way back to ravish bodies.

One of Stiles’ hands tugged at the hem of the wolf’s shirt, “can I lift this up?” His figure was lowered on Derek’s body, hips high and shoulder low to allow lips to kiss around the wolf’s neck; he tilted his head just enough to meet the other’s eyes, then led the boy’s head to meet his lips, kissing his consent. “Yeah” he softly said after.

Fingers pulled his shirt up till it was below Derek’s chin; Stiles held it there, his eyes scanned his sculpted body while the wolf breathed heavily, cold air hitting his stomach and chest. “Y'sure you're okay, baby?” The boy stood on his knees, leaving the shirt there, slowly covering back his chest. He wanted to be sure everything was within comfort.

“Yeah, yes. It's just…” He wrapped his legs around his mate’s hips, pulling him down. “Stay close to me, please.” Breathing in Stiles’ neck, his lover held him close and their bodies met, one on top of the other, skin on skin, stomach on stomach, chest on chest; Derek felt like he was breathing in life through the love of his partner.

“Always.” Simply said Stiles and as his body lifted to allow him to leave a tray of kisses on Derek's body, never really leaving him uncovered, body always hovering above his lover’s. Green eyes went back to being red and he decided to nourish such a show of freedom, of being finally allowed to feel tender love.

Fingertips followed the lines of Derek's skin, from chest down to stomach, traveling above all the roads that were his muscles, soft and tender under Stiles’ touch. He noticed the little line of hair went from his navel down, disappearing under his jeans. Then, his whole palm caressed warm skin, making a map of it in his mind. “You're so beautiful” and he started to leave kisses wherever he touched.

Shivering below tender, caring kisses on his abdomen, Derek covered his mouth to muffle some noises but Stiles slid a hand under his back, fingertips running along the wolf’s spine while he pushed his knee back between his legs. It was too much to handle and he couldn’t hold it in anymore, his nostril flared as a moan fell from his lips.

“Ahh… mh…”

“I want you as you are and I’m pretty sure we don’t have neighbors, do we?” Stiles’ joke made Derek shy, a tint of embarrassment on his cheek but it made the mood calmer. They both were aware someone was loosening tight chains and the boy wanted him to feel as safe and comfortable as possible.

Between silly laughs and getting back to their anniversary plan, Stiles mouthed a reassuring question above Derek’s waistline “better?” The other nodded, while arms started to leave marks on the other’s back, nails scratching pale skin. “Very much so” and he had a huge smile on his face; they enjoyed their time for another quarter hour, until Stiles announced his surprise, or not really…

“I have a gift for you.” Derek wanted to know what it was, he felt so at peace and safe with Stiles there, hands caressing his skin and lips showing him how gentle love can be. “What is it?” His legs caged Stiles in, not letting him go anywhere before giving him an answer. The knee between his legs never left, but the tension started to build up on the door and now he was barely holding back. They both knew it. Felt it.

“I wanna give you head, only if you want it too.”

His words stoned the wolf for a long second, he felt like he could say yes, that he was ready to receive any love Stiles was willing to give him, but his boyfriend knew he needed to hear everything. “Yes or no, if you are hesitant it’s a no. I don’t want you to second guess yourself, what you feel is not wrong anyhow.” Skin on skin, Derek simply hugged his mate, legs and arms around his boy.

His head rested on Stiles’ shoulder, breathing in a calming scent; he chose what he felt was the right way to go. “Yes, I want to try it.” His words hit the other’s ears, he made another silly attempt to ease the mood and also the nervousness he could feel in Derek.

“We are kinda skipping the hand job, y’know…” Knees hit his sides, couching a bit as laughs were searching their way out; Stiles managed his task paying a small fine, while the wolf relaxed in his arms, melting almost.

“I’ll be gentle and slow. Whenever you don’t feel like it anymore, we can stop, got it baby?” Undoing his cage around Stiles, Derek looked at him in amber eyes and nodded, arms around his neck; but his mate didn’t buy it so quickly, “talk to me, baby.”

Taking a deep breath that felt like chains being taken off from around his neck, he whispered a solid “yes.”

Kisses started it all. Forehead, tip of the nose, lips, neck, collarbone, Stiles trailed his way down. Chest, stomach and then he stopped above his jeans, fingers massaging the skin under his navel. “Gonna take these off, is it alright?” Stiles asked him and the wolf didn’t need to be told twice, he knew his mate could only love him. Not like her.

“Yeah, it’s good.” Stiles undid the zip of the jeans, pulling them down his legs while kissing the skin freshly exposed. His legs flexed all the way till his knees touched his chest to let the pants fall off his figure. “You’re more flexible than I thought” was Stiles’ little comment to keep his head on their night and nothing else. “Wonder why…” was what Derek said, but he kept ‘I think I’ll tell you later… after this’ for himself.

Nestling between his legs, Stiles started caressing his thighs, then kisses found home there too. Muscles shivered under feathered touches, little moans came from Derek’s lips and when he was melting under his mate’s lips, Stiles went to the next step. “This off too, what do you say?” He pointed at his boxers, fingers playing with the waistband. “Good.” Derek’s head fell back, his hands went on his stomach, resting and calming, as to tell Stiles he was relaxed with him.

One leg after the other, Stiles slowly slipped them off revealing what they were hiding. The boxers ended up hanging on one of Derek’s ankles until he parted his legs for his lover, then they fell to the ground with the rest of the clothes they previously abandoned. “How are you feeling, baby?” Soft hands never left his skin, ‘I’m here with you, you’re safe’ they were meaning to tell and Derek knew it just fine.

“I’m good, I’m with you.” His words were met with a lovely smile and a look in Stiles’ eyes which seemed to tell him that love wasn’t about naked bodies and broken moans. Derek relaxed on the couch, the other gave him a quick kiss and then slowly made his way back down; lips went all over the inner part of the wolf’s thighs again and again, hands on the juncture between hips and legs.

Stiles went slow just as he said. Once more, he found a welcoming place back between his legs; Derek’s cock was already erected by the time his boxers came off, but Stiles made sure to pay it no mind to not make his mate embarrassed anyhow. He took the length in one hand, the other holding one of his thighs, thumb rubbing circles in hot skin.

He started stroking it, using the little precum that came as lube. “Stiles… Ah” His thighs instinctively tried to close, but it was a light movement, one Stiles could stop even though he let him squeeze his head between his legs a little; heavy breathing and head rolled back, the wolf was beginning to get high on the sensations his boyfriend was making him feel.

After a few more strokes, Stiles started with the tip, placing some kisses there too before taking it in his mouth. “Darlin- mhh…” His voice came out high pitched but just like his mate said before, no neighbors to worry about. Yet, he felt it in his chest, in his stomach and heart, the cover the alpha provided him could last just that much.

Once Stiles had him all in his mouth, stroking the length he couldn’t reach, Derek’s eyes started buzzing between red and blue. His mate noticed but didn’t make any move in reaction to it and the wolf guessed it was fine anyway. ‘I want you as you are… You said it.’ It was enough to calm his mind and let him enjoy their intimate time together.

Head strongly set between huge thighs, Stiles went down till the base of Derek’s cock and it made him scream. “Stiles! Ah, mhh… Darling…” He kept chanting his name or moaning under his mate’s love and care. One of the wolf’s arms went straight by his side, electrized with sensations, his hand reaching for something, fingers trembling for anything to hold on. Stiles took his hand with the one that was on his thigh.

He was getting close, too close, “Sti-! Ah!” His breathing rushed and uneven, eyes staying more blue than red. The boy didn’t move away, one hand intertwined with his lover’s and the one that was stroking him went between the couch and the wolf’s body, tracing his spine and making his back arch. “Stiles… I’m, I’m about to…” His voice cut off when his dick hit the back of Stiles’ throat.

“Stiles!” He screamed as cum shot down the other’s throat and his mate swallowed it down like water.

His vision was covered in a layer of fog, legs going limp around Stiles’ head, but he was worried about him; with whatever little strength he had left, he tried to sit while he held the other’s head in his hands. “Stiles, why did you do that?! Spit it out!” His words were accompanied with his eyes straying icy blue for a few more seconds before it went away.

But as he saw his mate crawling back up his body, Stiles licked his lips and Derek had confusion all over his face. “I want the others to smell how much you are mine.” Face red, shy, he fell back on the couch, not caring about his nudity in front of the other since he knew Stiles would never hurt him. “You’re lucky I have an insane amount of love for you.”

The pout he tried to keep lasted not even a minute when Stiles collapsed on top of him. “I came in my pants from that...” The random confession left Derek speechless and shocked, “what?” But they ended up both cracking a laugh and snuggling together, some soft and playful kisses here and there.

After the clock hit midnight and Derek came down from the high, he felt like a good night's sleep could do them some good. “We should take a shower and go to bed” but his offer was already being debated on the table. “Yes for the sleep, no shower, too tired…” Stiles murmured in the other’s neck, leaving cheesy bites and small hickeys meant to fade.

“What about your underwear?” Reasoned Derek; his mate just gestured in the air something that meant ‘whatever, I’ll see later in the bedroom.’ So, they slowly made their way upstairs, leaving their clothes on the floor. Derek led Stiles up the stairs and to their room, all the while he mumbled “damn werewolf stamina or whatever,” which made the other crack a laugh filled with joy.

Once in their room, Derek put on one of Stiles’ shirts, oversized just like his mate liked them for sleeping, with a pair of boxers. Stiles did the same, stealing a shirt and also a pair of underwear. “Like it when I smell like you?” Mockingly asked Stiles, already knowing the answer, “you know damn well I do” and they finally went under the sheets.

But there was a little detail hanging in the air…

“I also have a little present for you.” Derek spoke from where he was between Stiles’ arms, meeting his eyes and searching for the harbor he had always loved. “If it’s another round I’m pretty sure I’m gonna pass out, but go on” it cracked a laugh out of the wolf and after it was over, he saw Stiles wearing the biggest, most caring smile he had ever seen on him.

“So…” he still had to take a deep breath, “under the alpha, I’m actually an… Omega.”

The wait felt excruciating, but Stiles never stopped smiling, or caressing his side, or having those loving eyes. “Can I ask you what it means?” Derek smelled in his scent he somehow already knew something, ‘you put together the dots on a blind map’ and so he spoke.

“The alpha is just a… veil, let’s say, for an omega and under it you are still what you were before, either beta or omega…” His hand gripped Stiles’ arm and the man held him closer. “If you are a beta, there isn’t much change, but if you are an alpha or omega there are some changes…”

“To keep it short, because we have to sleep…” Stiles reassured him he could take his time, sleep could wait a few minutes on them. “Omegas have… Heats, you basically wanna mate with someone. Alpha do the same, but it’s called ruts. Since I’m basically both, one shuts down the other and I don’t get either, for as long as I’m an alpha…”

Fingers traced his spine, slowly and steady, Stiles said nothing waiting for Derek. “And my heats are… Probably messed up too… Because of… Her.” He sensed his mate’s resentment, not for him but her; it stank and smelled putrid, but it went away almost immediately when Stiles noticed his memories coming back.

“It’s okay, whatever happens, we are going through it together.” He kissed his lips and Derek felt like Stiles was the only one that could say something like that. “I’m not leaving you for any reason, I’m bonded to you and I don’t ever wanna leave you.” His words made Derek feel like a bite on his shoulder could be meaningless if it was Stiles. And so they called it a night.

Sleep finally settled upon their heads, Derek rested in Stiles’ arms as he could read in his scent everything was going to be okay. Stiles held his mate, his boyfriend, partner and lover, thinking about how long the road ahead of them was and how they were going to run it all just fine.

“I’m glad you told me, baby. I’ll be here for you, always.” Stiles kissed his hair, fingers never once stopped caressing the other.

“Only because it’s you, because you’re the one I love” and Derek fell asleep thinking about how life had surprised him, from lows to highs.

Chapter Text

Cora had been in the hospital for a while by that point. Their latest fight with the Darach put a few of them down to their knees and the young Hale was one of those. On her hospital bed, she laid soaked in sweat, in and out of consciousness; her world was spinning around any time she opened her eyes.

No one knew what she had so their best guess was to bring her to a hospital rather than Deaton. Derek took her there himself in the back of his car and later the same night he and Stiles went over to meet her, but she was no better than when he left her there.

Without even noticing it, they were in the hospital already, this time the Darach was with them and they had it by their sides until they lost it white having it in front of their very own eyes…

Derek, Stiles, Peter and Scott were roaming the building to find the old creature that just got away from them, until Peter disappeared per his usual and no one almost paid it any mind. Derek guessed he went to see Cora just like he did a few days prior, always checking on his younger sister.

“Should we go get Peter?” Scott said as he and the other two were searching for something useful in the obituary but nothing was coming afloat, “he’ll be back on his own” was all Derek told him while Stiles was kind of playing around with a defibrillator.

And since nothing was working out for them, Scott had a brilliant idea. “You two go to see what’s taking Peter so long, I’ll go see if I can find the Darach somehow.” Stiles was ready to debate, telling him it was the worst idea ever to go search for it on his own, but before a single word left his mouth, his best friend was already running out of the room.

“Reckless.” Stiles left the comment out and Derek just smirked at it, then they both got to Cora and Peter. Running down a few flights of stairs, two floors below the obituary, her room was there, the door opened and Peter was out of sight. The alpha went to her while the boy searched for the old wolf.

But again, he was nowhere to be seen, “where the hell did he go?” While the words of his mate arrived to Derek's ears, he found a note from his uncle left on the pillow. It was in the shadow, the white paper was almost competently swallowed by the dark. ‘What are you hiding Peter?’

Taking the note out, the words on it left no space to do otherwise. Somehow, everyone was pulling Derek and Stiles to do as they wanted, leaving them no space to decide.

‘Get her out of here, the Darach is coming for her again.

Human medicine is doing nothing for her…

When I get back to the loft I want dinner ready, ty Sti.

- P’

“Irritating fuck that he is.” Stiles rolled his eyes and then looked at her, Derek was already picking her up from the hospital bed. In the boy’s mind an image flashed from years prior, he didn’t know if he could handle seeing it again. They were both out of the room, but his teeth were grinding together, fists were forming by his sides.

The wolf’s words left him speechless though, maybe he could smell his memories. “You go get Scott before he gets himself killed, we’ll get the Darach another time” but Stiles didn’t respond, his hand pulled Derek to not go anywhere and he stalled for a second.

“I’ll see you at home…” Finally came out the boy’s mouth, his eyes wide with adrenaline, the hand around Derek’s arm fell off and he walked backwards to go find his best friend. The wolf nodded at him, “see you there” and he went his way as well. Both had their backs to one another as they ran to get their people to safety.

Derek took the elevator with Cora in his arms, her body felt lighter than it was supposed to be, he hoped she was going to be fine, somehow. Rushing through the parking lot, he placed her body on the passenger seat and Erica felt closer despite the fact that she was gone. ‘Don’t’ his mind told him, ‘not again.’

In the driver’s seat, he turned on the engine and took off, it didn’t take them long to get to the loft. On the other hand, Stiles ended up on the top floor, in an operating room to finally find Scott. “Yo dude, let’s get out of here!” Stiles called for him and his friend got closer, maybe it was going to be easy to disappear from the hospital.

Or maybe not… “What is it, Stiles? I almost found the way.” It wasn’t what the boy was expecting to hear, his eyes tried to share with his friend how it wasn’t the time to play ‘hide and seek.’ “Yeah, alright dude, but we gotta get out of here.”

Scott looked at the path he was beginning to find to get to the Darach, while also looking at a very distressed Stiles, who kept chanting to him to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. In the end, Stiles got him by the wrist and pulled him all the way out of the room, “come one, dude.”

The urgency in his best friend’s eyes got Scott to walk and run behind him, until together they took the stairs and finally went to their beaten up drive: Stiles’ Jeep.

“Remember me why we keep using your Jeep?” Scott said a few seconds after they were inside the car; Stiles was coughing and breathing heavily while the other did the same but without the same amount of drama. Amber eyes shot over the wolf by his side, “I ain’t getting on your bike, you crashed three times in two months.”

“Touchè” was the admission of defeat coming from Scott, then he asked something else. “Why did you come back? What happened?” Stiles looked at him, knowing it was a chance like no other to finally get his best friend to acclimate to Derek. Especially when his dislike of him was unreasonable.

“We found Cora and a note from Peter, it read to get out of there immediately. Derek took Cora and told me to come and get you, so here we are.” The air in the car was being saturated with their combined humid exhales and Stiles turned on the Jeep, rolling down the windows and starting to get on the road home.

“Is she gonna be okay?” The wolf asked and the boy didn’t really have an answer to that. “I hope so…” The road ahead of them was dark and anguish, the Jeep wasn’t speeding to get anywhere, the ride was something more of a journey to get to the bottom of something Stiles had in his mind for a while.

“Why don't you like him?” Stiles’ words hit the right turn towards the main road, empty of any other vehicle. “Derek?” Scott was just going around it. “No, my grandpa… Yeah, Derek.” His eyes were stuck on the road and just occasionally they went over his friend.

“I just want the best for you, Stiles…” His reasoning didn’t seem complete to the other’s ears. “I know that much on my own, but why don’t you like him?” Stiles was going to push on it until his friend would break and tell him the truth. He’d go on all night if he didn’t have a place to go back to.

The car took a left turn and the suburbs were by one side, the forest on the other. The night seemed infinite just like their conversation, more so the silence that then replaced it. Scott was looking at the houses by his side, Stiles’ eyes were on the road.

“I don’t want you to get hurt and we both know how many people around him got hurt or worse.” His words were everything Stiles was expecting; Scott always saw it as something regarding Derek, like death was his favorite toy and he was the mastermind who played with it.

“It’s not his fault, Scott.” Stiles was firm on changing his mind, just a little, just enough. “And I’m going to be fine by his side. I’m pretty alive, don’t you think?” His words had something playful in them and it got Scott to crack a quick smirk at him. ‘It’s working.’

“Buddy, if you get hurt-” Stiles shut him up, just a look was enough to let everything fall aside. Scott saw in his eyes the fierceness of a lion who knew they got the lead over the entire Savannah. “Save it, Scotty.” Stiles had enough of hearing threats, he’d much rather discuss like civilized people would do.

His next question was just to be sure, he didn’t want to see his best friend and his mate unexpectedly go for each other’s necks. “Are you two good then?” Scott just smiled at his friend, “if you’re sure of yourself with this, sure, me and Derek are good.”

Nothing made him think it could be some sort of fake, perhaps it truly wasn’t.

So, the boy hid the happy noises of victory that were fighting for a way out, until Scott let them out himself. “Damn dude, just laugh!” The car ended up being filled with giggles and laughs all the way to Scott’s house and when he got out Stiles still had a wonderful smile on his lips.

“Glad to be back on your good side, buddy.” Stiles told his friend, “when did you ever leave?” And they waved good nights as Scott went inside and Stiles took off again, his new destination being his home and the people waiting for him to be back.

Throughout the ride, no sounds could be heard and he hoped Cora was fine, at least as much as possible, but he didn’t know what was happening under the roof of a cursed den…

Once Derek had Cora on the couch in his living room, Peter seemingly showed up out of nowhere like he’d been waiting for the two to finally arrive home. She was sweaty and pale, something was poisoning her and they couldn’t do anything to get it out of her system.

Derek was by her side, sitting on the coffee table and holding one of her hands in his, behind him Peter was pacing around the room hiding in the shadow as to hide he cared for his niece. “What are we going to do?” The old wolf asked the alpha, something in his voice let out the fact he thought there was nothing they could do to help Cora.

Bit in the alpha’s mind, nothing seemed good enough to heal his sister; Derek had no other option to risk his all for her. “I can take away her pain and maybe it’ll help her heal…” Peter rushed behind the couch to look into his eyes, they both knew what could come out of it.

“What about Stiles?”

His uncle’s words put both his mate and his sister on a scale, who was more important than who? But Derek didn’t need to decide and he hoped Peter would understand that too. “What are you gonna do when he finds out everything?” The old wolf wasn’t letting it go.

His grip around his sister’s hand got tighter and Peter took a step back, “he’ll understand, he’s my mate and he already knows something…” Derek spoke with his eyes firmly in the other’s and his uncle understood there was no other way, nothing else to do to save her.

Eyes closed and a few black lines of pain ran up his arms, going all the way up his neck like poison. She was in so much pain it was a miracle she was alive; his eyes stared at her face in awe, his sister was strong just like a Hale, going through hell with her head high, not bowing to death.

When the amount of pain was getting too high, his irises turned red and the veins on his neck seemed about to explode with sorrow. Peter was looking from a distance, eyes cold but worried, hiding his emotions from everyone as his nephew put his family above all else.

A few more seconds went on, the pain was becoming unbearable and it caused Derek to growl with Cora’s suffering. Black veins covered his arms and collarbone, fangs bared long as the pain felt threatening to his senses; his eyes have never been brighter, as if the red was an emergency light going off.

“Careful…” Came from Peter, hiding in a corner in the shadow; yet his nephew didn’t listen to him, or maybe he did but not in the way the old wolf expected him to. He took a few steps forward, somehow to seem closer to Derek but his warning still went unheard.

‘She’s in so much pain…’ It was the only thing that occupied his mind, only his sister and nothing else. As he took even more pain away from her, she was starting to open her eyes, her forehead dumped in sweat. She was the first to notice what was happening to Derek.

Her brown eyes couldn’t help but notice it, as if a beacon was calling for her. The black roads on his brother’s neck looked too full, the hold on her hand was beginning to loosen as if he was being drained of every grain of energy he had.

Then it happened, his strength could only do so much and his red eyes began to fade, leaving out the blue of who he really was. She was awake and Derek was drifting away from exhaustion, his irises icy as the deepest part of an iceberg kept watching her with hope.

“You’re alright?” He simply asked as his alpha spark was gone, drained to save her. She tried to sit, in her eyes there was a veil of guilt that fell as Derek moved away a strand of hair from her face, a soft smile on his face reassured her there was nothing to be guilty about.

Cora laid back down on the couch, Peter came closer to them both and Derek stood back up. “Yeah… Thank you, Derek” she simply said as the older wolf then took the place of his nephew, holding her hand as he sat on the coffee table.

But as Derek was slowly crawling his way upstairs to find shelter in his bed, Peter called out for him and he turned around to face him. “What?” He asked without any urgency and the old wolf just stared at his eyes, as if to ask him to let him have a look.

Derek flashed them their signature blue, no words were exchanged and the look on Peter’s face told everything to the other, ‘You’re asking me ‘what about Stiles?’ Well…’ He couldn't keep the rest in his mind, not when he wanted to try and lighten the mood around them all.

“It’s the same color of his Jeep, he’ll love it” and the old wolf just smirked at him, gesturing him to go away as Cora was back asleep and Peter watched over her. Derek took the stairs and went into his bedroom, dropping dead on the mattress and sliding under the covers.

He fell asleep a few seconds later, he could feel his eyes didn’t change color, how the icy blue seemed stuck on display for everyone to see, but he paid it no mind as he had no energy to fight it. The last thought in his mind made sure his sleep would be somewhat recharging.

‘When are you coming back, Stiles?’

Downstairs, Peter was tending to Cora, drying her forehead with a cold, wet cloth. He thought she was asleep just like her brother, but apparently she wasn’t. “Is he gonna be okay?” Her voice was thin and the old wolf had to get closer to hear her. Not once he stopped taking care of her.

He thought long and hard about an answer that could put her worries to sleep; Peter knew Stiles would understand and accept Derek and that wasn’t the part he was worried about. More than anything else, his mind went along with the fact he had been an alpha for quite a long time and how maybe, he was going to be messed up because of his past.

But he didn’t want to put any burden on her, which was why his answer was general and seemingly true. “He got someone who’ll take care of him and we both know Stiles has a thing for tending to others’ injuries” and Cora cracked a weak smile.

In about two hours from when Derek fell asleep, Peter was long gone as Cora was regaining her heal quickly. In fact, she was about to leave too, allowing her brother to rest in peace; she was picking up a few things she knew Derek wouldn't mind her taking when the door opened.

Her eyes went over his figure, she smelled in his scent that he was presumably back on good terms with Scott but it wasn’t any of her business; Stiles was silent as he stepped in the loft, looking around to search for Derek when Cora greeted him and walked towards him, in her hand a bag half empty.

“Cora! Are you alright?” His worry made her smile and one of her hands went above his shoulder; Stiles was shocked by it but it wasn’t unpleasant anyhow. “I’m alright…” She simply said as she was planning to sleep for a few more hours once she got home.

In his eyes she could read where his concerns then went, ‘where is he?’

Cora didn’t retrieve her hand, just held him with more strength, the last of it she had for the night. “He’s upstairs. Be careful, he’s exhausted.” Stiles could tell there was something more to be careful about, but he didn’t have time to ask.

She disappeared almost immediately out the door, her figure sliding past the entrance as she waved a quick good night. Stiles was dumbfounded for a few seconds but as he realized it was useless to try and answer her words, he simply put his key on the kitchen island and walked upstairs.

Nothing in the air woke up Derek as Stiles finally went inside their bedroom and saw him sleeping there, hiding in a cocoon under the covers. The boy simply took off his shoes and crawled on the bed; Derek was on his side, his back to Stiles.

One hand slowly went on top of the wolf’s shoulder and he didn’t wake up; Stiles didn’t want to bother him but he needed to know he wasn’t hurt anyhow. Fingers slid down his silhouette, down his arm and trailing down his side until he reached his waist.

The motion was too quick to allow Stiles to withdraw his hand.

Derek turned and grabbed his wrist, his hand had claws pointing on the boy’s veins, his fangs bared to threaten whoever was interrupting his rest in his home, eyes blue to scare everyone away. Stiles didn’t shy away from him though, he stayed there as his heart skipped only one beat and he saw his mate’s eyes being simply blue, no more red in them.

His voice was soft and delicate as if he was speaking to a scared kid, “it’s okay, just me, just Stiles.”

Derek took a second to connect his mind back to reality; his grip on Stiles’ wrist got excruciatingly soft for the boy to bear, as if the wolf was ashamed he lashed out on him. While his fangs and claws retrieved, his eyes buzzed their newfound color and his head turned down.

Neither of them moved, Stiles waited for Derek to be calm, ensuring he was fine and back to him as blue irises flashed a quick warning; the wolf stared into amber eyes like his composure depended on that firm gaze. Stiles then spoke again, softly, letting the other take a deep breath in the meantime.

“Stiles, remember? Your mate.”

Eyes back to being calm, Derek somehow felt like Stiles had never left him, like he had been by his side throughout all his sleep but he knew it wasn’t true, he knew he just got back home since he reeked of Scott. His eyes narrowed while they flashed a more vibrant blue and he guided Stiles’ hand back on his waist, wanting to feel him close despite the fact his nostrils were killing him.

“You stink.” Stiles was shocked for a long moment, his fingers around the wolf’s waist held him tighter and his eyes shot wide. “What?” He didn’t know what else to say as he watched Derek lay back down on the bed while he turned to face him completely, face to face. Again, his eyes kept flashing at him like he was mad.

“Should I… Take a shower?” His question was tentative as he didn’t really know what to do, but Derek cleared his mind. The wolf scooped closer to the boy and Stiles pulled him in, in exchange for his action Derek started purring and he was more confused than ever in his entire life.

The wolf could smell the hundred questions in his scent, “you reek of Scott and not me” and Stiles was finally beginning to understand something, connecting the dots, ‘maybe it has to do with those gorgeous blue eyes you have…’ So, he tried to lighten the mood with a soft joke.

“Swear I didn’t cheat on you” and it didn’t really get him what he hoped for. Instead of a broken laugh, Derek growled at him, purrs gone and fangs threatening with eye impossible blue. “Sorry, sorry, just a bad joke alright?” He tried caressing his waist, fingers circling his warm skin.

And somehow, that got Stiles something different, definitely better than fangs and growls; for some strange reason he yet had to understand, Derek was back on purring while the boy’s fingers kept caressing him. But when he heard the wolf taking a deep breath and letting out a disappointed huff, he knew there was something else to do.

He exposed his neck to Derek, hoping he was going down the right path. And he was.

Derek nuzzled in the crock of his neck, his nose kept going up and down the boy’s throat while his hands pulled Stiles closer and closer, as if he didn’t want him to leave. He purred and scented him for almost half an hour and his mate let him do it, not bothered by it in the slightest. One hand even went over his neck, he felt no claws as the wolf listened to his heartbeat.

Stiles could tell it was all because of those blue eyes that never went away, he also knew it wasn’t something that depended solidly on him but on both of them; both his hands kept caressing the wolf, one on his waist and one arm circled his head on the pillow, fingers playing with his hair.

Their bedroom was filled with Derek’s purrs and they were drifting Stiles into sleep, but he didn’t want to let the day end so quickly, he had too many questions; then his mind gave him an idea around thirty-five minutes into the wolf’s life mission to ensure he smelled like a wet dog.

“Baby…” He started softly, calling his name to have his attention and it worked; Derek looked up at him, the green of his eyes was nowhere to be seen. “Let me go change clothes?” But the wolf didn’t really like the idea. He made a whimpering sound before pulling Stiles closer with one hand, the thumb on the boy’s neck made a little circle to ask him to stay.

He had to try again with something else or he knew Derek was going to bite his neck off the second his scent wasn’t strong enough to make him happy. With his best caring voice and lovely eyes, his words hit the wolf’s ears. “I can smell more of you if you let me change clothes…”

It seemed like the wolf was pondering the offer, his eyes closed in thinking as his nose stopped trailing his neck. “Do it quickly, promise?” Was all the boy heard back and in those cold eyes he saw nothing more than the warmth of having someone close and not wanting to freeze alone.

“Be right back, promise” and before the other let him go, Stiles gave him a quick kiss which eased the hand on his neck, allowing him to go and do his little task of the day. He pulled every one of his clothes off and threw them in the washing machine, then he took a pair of Derek’s boxers and one of his shirts, putting everything on.

He could feel the wolf staring at him, rings of blue fire could be seen in the dark of their bedroom, just a little light came in through the curtains at around midnight; neither of them said anything, Stiles could hear the other urging him to be back and Derek could tell his mate was doing just that.

Sliding under the covers, the wolf didn’t lose a second to dive back in his neck, but he didn’t trail his nose up and down and the boy knew why. “Happy now that I reek of you?” He simply asked, hoping the answer was the same he had in his mind.

“Yeah” and the blue got lighter, like it was about to go away but not completely, then Stiles noticed something else; neither of them ate anything and he knew his boyfriend didn’t simply because the kitchen was spotless when he walked in a few hours earlier.

“Derek, why don’t we eat something before going to sleep?” His question fell on deaf ears, the wolf didn’t budge as if he didn’t really care about it, so Stiles did something different. He picked up his chin from where his face was hidden in his neck, eyes staring at him.

He kissed him softly for a few minutes and the wolf melted in his arms when Stiles slid his tongue past his lips. “Wait for me, alright?” And the other nodded as he let him go, feeling his eyes never leaving him as he went out the door and down the stairs, purposely letting the door open.

‘Gotta be quick before he jumps me.’ His thought made him do a fast work with some bread and ham he found in the fridge, putting it all together as sandwiches, wrapping them in napkins. It didn’t take him long before he was already back upstairs.

In the darkness of the stairs, as he took each step, he couldn’t help but feel like in a horror movie when he noticed the light blue rings intensively staring at him, following every single one of his movements. But he made no comments, after the one with Scott he knew the mood was somewhat too fragile to handle jokes.

Stepping into the room, he placed their dinner on his nightstand and turned on the lamp he used for reading. Sitting on the bed, Derek mimicked his movements and the sandwiches were served. Both ate in silence and it didn’t bother them, it never did.

Once they were done, the napkins found their place on Stiles’ nightstand and he let the lamp on, it wasn’t too strong and it gave them both enough light to see each other with a veil of shadows. Stiles held his arm up to lift the covers and Derek slid closer to him, leaving his neck at peace and resting in his chest.

Stiles could feel him being more relaxed, more calm, so he tried talking a bit. “Baby?” He got his attention and he was starting to get worried as the blue seemed to not want to go away; he pondered his words with caution, his voice soft like a snowflake finding home on the ground. “You’re just an omega now?”

Derek took a deep breath, it seemed like something completely his and Stiles knew his mate was feeling better simply because they were together. His voice didn’t hesitate but it was shaking a little, “yeah…” And he added nothing else to his answer.

Once he got his response, he didn’t know what else to ask; his mind was filled with questions just a few seconds prior and it got empty in the blink of an eye, somehow it didn’t even bother him that much. However he could feel something else was coming, but not from the depths of his mind.

The wolf in his arms was beginning to tense under his touch. He tried caressing his waist, fingers running up and down his neck, nose dumping into the wolf’s. It relaxed him just a little, enough to keep on taking deep breaths and resting his head more firmly on the boy’s chest.

Then, a few words left his mouth, hanging in the air. “I’m afraid it’s going to be painful.”

His mate didn’t lose a second to answer him. His fingers kept caressing him and before he spoke any words, Stiles kissed him gently and it got Derek to have goosebumps all over his back. “It’s going to be okay, we are going to go through this together. I’m not leaving you.”

He kissed him a few more times, until he nuzzled the wolf’s neck. A stray kiss found home on his throat, then one on his collarbone until Derek felt Stiles placing a bite just where he was kissing his skin, near the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

Eyes buzzing once again their shiny blue, Stiles looked into those pools of love and exposed his neck for his mate. ‘Let me love you… I want you to love me your way’ and as he closed his eyes, the boy felt hot breath on his neck, then teeth sank in the same spot.

A bit of fangs made their way out before Derek could stop them, pointy and sharp they left a mark on his mate’s pale skin. When he noticed it, his mind ran with fear ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you’ and he licked the spot hoping it didn’t hurt Stiles; his mate just held his head above his neck for a few seconds before letting him go.

Picking up his chin once again, Stiles locked his eyes into Derek’s, the blue was beginning to buzz away, letting the green come back to the surface. “It’s okay, it didn’t hurt” and he kissed him once more, the wolf immediately melted again, any trace of stress and concern long gone.

Night was beginning to come to them and make them fall asleep but as Stiles was fine with it, Derek had something else to say to his mate though; his hold around the boy became tighter, his eyes had almost no hint of blue in them anymore as he spoke.

“How did you know?” He looked up to Stiles and he met his amber eyes with his own ice and green ones. His mate never stopped caressing his burning body.

“What?” Stiles didn’t really know what he was talking about as his fingers slid over the wolf’s lower back. His eyes held his question along with his voice.

“What to do with me?” The boy kind of understood Derek meant how he took care of him in the right way without having never met another omega before.

“Because I know you” started to say Stiles, fingertips tracing abstract shapes on the other’s skin. “And because you just need someone to love you regardless,” he finished the sentence as his eyes were beginning to be pulled close by exhaustion.

Yet the wolf didn’t take his eyes off of him, now only green was there for Stiles to see and he asked the last question of the night. “And that someone is you?”

Stiles kissed his forehead to tell him to sleep, but not before he told him the last promise of the day. “Only me, for as long as I breathe.”

Chapter Text

Just a little over two or three days after Derek lost the alpha and Stiles was trying to get the hang of it, the boy noticed how the wolf seemed to be doing a bit better. He asked him if he could go out with Lydia for a few hours and it seemed not to bother him.

However, despite Derek telling him to go, when he left the loft to go meet her his heart started pulling him back, but as he tried to push through the ache, he felt something wasn’t going to be okay. Something gave him goosebumps once he was out with her, sitting at a local diner.

The boy was out with Lydia, getting something to eat at around 5 PM and sharing gossip just like he had always dreamed to do with her. After all, how could Lydia Martin not know all the gossip around town?

It was around the first day of autumn, the cold breeze was coming to pinch their joints and the boy wore a long sleeved shirt, blue, along with the first pair of jeans he found in the loft. Lydia had her usual dress, just a bit warmer thanks to coolants.

Stiles was just sharing his most recent discovery about pina coladas and other drinks, ‘we should do them all and get tipsy’ was what he really meant to say but he left it out to be heard or not by the girl. And when Lydia proposed to throw a party to make the drinks, the boy already knew he couldn’t go.

Besides, around 6 PM Lydia looked at the clock and they both knew it was time to go back home. Leaving the party to be something for another month, Stiles got in his Jeep and Lydia went in her Prius after they hugged their good nights.

The ride back to the loft gave him enough time to go over the reason behind him not being able to attend the party if it was in a few days and why his heart never ceded to ache. ‘I gotta stay by his side now that he needs me the most… Pina coladas have to wait on us both.’ The street in front of his eyes was getting darker and he turned on the car’s lights to see something more.

His mind was filled with how much different his boyfriend had become after saving his sister. The first thing he noticed was how clingy he had become and not in a bad way. ‘How could I ever think of your way of being in a bad way? I love you too much for that shit.’

The wolf started following him around like a literal dog and Stiles didn’t know if it was good or bad, ‘knowing Derek it could be both.’ Whenever Stiles left their bed to go make something to eat, the other would either whine as if in pain or follow him without much regard for his personal space. ‘Not that I mind.’

But it wasn’t so simple. Derek didn’t even really want to leave the mess of a bed they had been sleeping in for the past few days. ‘Always cocooned in the sheets… I would say you have a fever if you weren't a werewolf’ and Stiles was just a few minutes away from him, who was theoretically still tucked and hidden under the covers.

Yet, he knew it wasn’t anything bad. Ever since he saw his eyes being nothing but blue, he knew there was going to be some hard work to do and some changes to be done. He could only imagine what was waiting for him but he didn’t mind taking the long way if it meant loving Derek the right way.

‘Guess we’ll just have to work through… Whatever is going on, which I should ask you about.’ He parked the car and shut off the engine. While stepping out, his mind was already filled with questions he knew were meant to be wiped away the second his eyes would see his boyfriend.

Going up the stairs and wondering why an elevator wasn’t in the building, he finally arrived at the front door and pushed it open. That same day, before Stiles went to see Lydia, he had asked Derek if he wanted to come along and the wolf just hid in the covers, murmuring ‘Go and have fun, I don’t feel well… You said it, but it felt wrong to leave.’

Stiles couldn’t explain the feeling until he looked around the loft and saw no trace of his mate. “Derek?” He called out for him, hoping to hear something but nothing came back. The living room was empty, he went upstairs and their bedroom was just the same.

‘Where are you?’

His wonders were starting to turn into concerns as he couldn’t find him anywhere and he knew he surely didn’t leave the loft. Stiles felt something punching him in his gut like he made a mistake but didn’t know what it was about. His eyes frantically went around all the walls but nothing could be spotted.

Until they fell on that staircase they had never really used in a while. ‘The attic…’ His heart was already pulling him to go and he did; his head was spinning like he knew something was wrong but had no way to know what. Taking the steps two at the time, the old wood of the door looked menacing. ‘Don’t’ it seemed to have written all over it.

He could hear something from the inside and he stepped in, opening the door with a worried face. The light was off and he didn’t turn it on; for some reason he thought it’d be just more stressful for his mate, wrapped in the darkness of the room. Just the circular window let in some light of the late evening, which he deemed fit.

There was just a soft glow, falling in a pale blue-ish veil on the lines of the wolf’s body. His silhouette seemed to turn into a sketch made with white pencil on black paper, the only color the blue of his eyes, shining in the depth of the shelter that was the dark room.

He seemed to be waiting for the boy, like a prayer of his was finally being answered but he didn’t know which one. Blue rings of ice seemed to come out of some verse of some holy script about ‘the beauty of fear’ but Stiles wasn’t much of a believer.

Someone as beautiful as the man he was staring at couldn’t be part of any religion, not when his wings were cruelly cut by someone who claimed love with a pitchfork in their hands. Not when kindness was something more akin to a dog than god himself.

‘Angels would envy you… Then try to take you away from me…’

He wouldn’t let that happen. Nothing ever felt as strong as the image he was admiring, nothing ever felt so utterly sacred and lovable. Nothing has ever felt more his than the man wrapped in the night waiting for him as he was standing still in the middle of his shrine.

But Stiles’ thought was wiped away as he noticed something else, one hand wiped his face of his devotion. On the opened sofa bed, Derek laid there in a mess of clothes and shivering, his eyes stuck on the icy blue despite the prior days when it almost never showed unless Stiles left their bed.

He felt something calling for him, a voice screaming at him, whining in agony to do something to ease the pain and the cold. The trembling body on the bed appeared to be just out of an operating room, where one surgery served him wrong and only Stiles could do him right…

“Baby…”

A thin line of voice, like his mate was made of glass and could be shattered if he spoke too loudly, gained him a look of ice he didn’t know how to translate. He took a few steps forward, with caution, so as not to startle the wolf who seemed sicker than anything else, but he couldn’t tell much in the dark of the room.

‘You are back…’

Derek shivered even more, body trembling as if scared to death of something Stiles wasn’t aware of. The boy couldn’t tell how he was laid, if he had his arms around himself or if he had a smile or not, he was too far to be able to see anything else other than those blue eyes that were staring into his soul.

‘I don’t want you to be in any pain, will you let me in?’

“I’m coming over to you, alright?” And the wolf said nothing back, not even the smallest noise but Stiles’ legs moved on their own, searching for his mate. He knew he had to comfort him somehow, he felt it burning in his heart, around his neck.

‘Stay with me.’

He couldn’t help it but get closer to him, walking until he was by the side of the bed, all the while piercing blue irises burned holes into his heart. Once he arrived at his destination, he noticed how bad his mate looked. More than sick, he seemed to be dying, but there were no injuries on him.

‘What’s going on right now? I don’t want anyone else to see you like this, ever…’

The dim light of the early night granted him some vision, cloud clearing in his favor. He could tell a few things despite others were still a mystery to him, but he was fine with it regardless. Standing by the side of the bed, his hands wanted to reach out, to touch and comfort, but he waited.

His skin was pale, trembling arms and legs, bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in days. “Baby, do you want me to lay down with you?” And the only answer he got was a growl from deep within his throat. To Stiles’ ears it seemed to say ‘stay away.’

Thinking Derek didn’t want him to be there with him, at least not for the time being, he sat on the edge of the bed, on the side where there was an empty space he thought was for him. Blue eyes seemed to have some words in them, but he couldn’t read them as he usually would.

‘Why don’t you come in?’

Derek extended his arm to reach Stiles and his mate held his hand rather quickly, thumb rubbing the cold back of it. The boy’s eyes were caring and loving and the wolf didn’t understand why he didn’t lay down with him. With his free arm he hugged himself trying to get his body to be a bit warmer.

‘Let me take care of you, please…’

Stiles swore his eyes were the same as a wounded dog, a stray whose life was being frozen by the cold winter weather; an animal left there to die on the snow, meant to leave a sign of his passing, one the boy didn’t want to see for the wolf.

‘I can’t stand looking at you like this…’

But as his heart couldn't withstand the image of Derek being nothing more than a sign of time being cruel, his eyes shifted and reality was something more pleasant to see, even if he didn’t know what he was looking at.

Shivering and exhausted from being alone and cold, Derek noticed the boy’s eyes regaining focus. Stiles was wondering about what the wolf did on the bed, all the clothes and things that he didn’t know had their scent on them. Derek wondered if Stiles liked it or if he did a bad job for his mate.

‘Please…’

The wolf tugged at his hand, pulling him closer and Stiles finally said something to him, trying a second time. “Want me in here with you?” His words were accompanied by pats on the empty spot on the bed and Derek let out a painful whimper, something akin to a dog asking for companionship. Stiles couldn't deny him anything as his heart skipped a beat.

‘I don't want to be alone…’

The boy seemed to understand the wolf. Their game of reading each other’s thoughts apparently didn’t work when you didn’t know the language you had to translate, especially when you’ve never heard of it before. A kind smile was on the boy’s lips as something popped in his mind.

‘Guess I have to learn how to read you with those pretty blue eyes of yours…’

He took off his shoes and jeans then crawled in the bed, wrapping his arms around Derek the second he laid down with him and the wolf nuzzled his throat. His thumb was still rubbing circles in the back of the other’s hand, never letting him go anywhere too far to reach; their conjoined hold found a place between their chests.

‘I missed you.’

Stiles could see the last words in the other’s eyes, somehow starting to understand the language he was using with him at that moment as the ache in his heart seemed to share with him some knowledge. “I missed you too,” arms held tighter around Derek’s cold and pale body. Eyes buzzed a shy blue in response.

Breathing in while his face was hidden in the other’s hair, his heart had yet the same discomfort waiting to be taken care of. If it once helped him understand his mate, now it wanted to be helped to heal. A mistake was what he thought he did and he didn’t want Derek to think he didn’t care.

“Forgive me.”

But the wolf didn’t know what he meant, his eyes looked up at him in question and the boy understood it, taking a deep breath of his own and caressing Derek's back with his free hand, his voice filled the silence and amber eyes were a shade deeper than usual.

His questioning blue eyes got him an answer once Stiles understood the wolf’s irises buzzing in a way he had never seen before. “I didn’t get in here sooner… I left you here to go out with Lydia” and he knew at that moment, despite Derek having told him he could, he should’ve seen something more, just a little more.

‘I should’ve been able to see your aching as mine…’

Derek hid his face in the other’s neck, the arm around his body was still there and claws were starting to dig into his skin while his other hand grabbed the boy’s shirt to make sure he’d stay there, untangling their conjoined hands. The wolf didn’t growl at him nor did he seem mad anyhow.

Stiles thought the other accepted his apology or maybe he had something else in his mind, so tracing his covered skin with feathered fingertips, the boy knew something was just put back in place and that the silence between them wasn’t going to last too long.

But nothing came from Derek’s throat, not a single word to share with his mate. Therefore, he went for a more tangible option, something that didn’t require him to speak. The wolf started nuzzling his neck again, then a soft kiss found his home there as well.

Stiles was beginning to question once again what was going on, until Derek licked his neck like a cat drinking milk…

“What a way to say you accept my apology, baby” and he hoped he didn’t misunderstand his actions. Still, the words were mixed with a soft chuckle, a smile on his lips was the only thing Derek could see and it was enough for him, but his mate didn’t really get the full meaning behind the wolf’s action. Blue eyes stared at the boy and Stiles’ mind was empty.

‘I don’t want you to apologize’ was what he wanted to say but couldn’t, so he kept licking his neck as the skin was turning a pretty shade of red that was awakening something possessive in him. Although before he could do anything about it, before he could place a soft bite around his throat, Stiles did something else.

Both his hands were still caressing his skin but his eyes couldn’t see anything and as another soft chuckle left his mouth, one hand stopped its ministrations to search for something near the bed that could do some light and he found a lamp. Turning it on, he could finally see something more than just blue rings.

The scene got clearer in a second. His eyes finally being able to see something more and the hand that went turning on the lamp had already found another place to go.

Stiles immediately saw Derek’s claws digging in his side as he hugged himself, his hand went over the wolf’s and moved it away which got him blue eyes to be all over him. “It’s okay, let me see” he said as he moved away his hand and placed it on his own waist.

“Hold here, okay?” And Derek’s claws slowly went away, not wanting to hurt Stiles while his grip around his waist got softer, fingertips tracing the exposed skin of his shirt and remembering his scars. All the while, Stiles’ hand caressed his side, tracing how the injuries of his claws went away in a few seconds.

Once he was sure Derek wasn’t hurting himself any other way, he noticed something else. His body was shivering and Stiles just asked the obvious to know. “Are you cold?” Under his touch, the other’s body felt like he just got out of a shower where the temperature was boiling hot.

Yet, despite the excessive warmth, Derek was trembling with cold sweat pouring from his forehead and Stiles dried it with the hem of his sleeve. His mate just nodded and the boy pulled him closer to his chest, leaving no space between them.

A few minutes went by and Stiles visibly noticed how Derek didn’t shiver anymore, how he wasn’t covered in sweat either. He was nuzzling his neck once again, one hand found his way back to Stiles’ while the other was firmly on his waist. The boy kept caressing his mate on the back while sliding above his waist from time to time.

The boy got the feeling the other was doing better and he took a moment to try and figure out what happened all around them. Clothes everywhere, more like in a circle to leave the middle empty, pillows near their heads. Derek was wearing only a pair of boxers and one of Stiles’ shirts he stole from somewhere.

He couldn’t see his eyes anymore but he’d bet they were still blue for some unknown reason. Curiosity was eating him alive, wanting to ask questions until he could finally understand what it all meant. ‘I can tell it’s about the omega, that much I can get, but all the rest it’s still a mystery.’

‘Maybe I can sneak in a question…’ But before he had even a second to think about what to ask first, Derek did something that got him off guard. Stiles felt his tongue lick his neck again and that time, he couldn’t hold in the comment that was about to fall from his lips earlier.

“It feels kinda weird” he said as a soft chuckle left his throat along with the words. The motion on his neck stopped, Derek shied away from him, as if embarrassed of what he was doing and like they didn’t do something more intimate than that.

However, the boy saved the situation rather quickly with another comment, more in his style. “It’s still very hot, though” and for the first time since he got home, Derek had a soft smile on his lips and Stiles was glad he didn’t look so much in pain anymore.

And then, he let out the first word of the night: “weirdo.”

His eyes looked up at Stiles, blue as ever and just like the boy predicted, while a smile was on both their lips and the wolf didn’t have bags under his eyes anymore. ‘Finally… Talk to me more,’ was all Stiles wished for as a question popped in his mind; it was going to be a long night.

“Are you still mad at me or the first lick were you accepting my apologies?” His eyes carried how genuine his concerns were and Derek could tell it right away, otherwise he wouldn’t be about to say what came out next as another kitten lick found a place on the other’s neck.

His answer was unexpected, “I wasn’t mad at you,” blue eyes shot up to look into Stiles’, “I told you that you could go and I hoped it wouldn’t turn out so bad to deal with this alone…” His focus gradually went elsewhere, not looking at his mate anymore.

But as the boy was about to say something back, the wolf added more of his own. “I didn’t want you to be confined by this and be stuck in here…” Stiles wasn’t letting that slide. Pulling his mate closer, he regained his eyes on him, both hands caressing his lower back by then as they circled his torso.

“Even though you told me to go, I always had the feeling to run back to you, baby.” Derek let out a painful whimper and Stiles didn’t really know what it was about.

‘So, you feel it too?’ It was something the boy had to read out of his eyes as they stared at him.

Stiles pulled his chin up with two fingers as one hand left his spot on the other’s back, kissing his mate softly and whispering a gentle “I do” upon Derek’s lips. Amber eyes had another message to share and his voice brought it out for the other to hear.

“It’s alright, baby, I’ll be stuck with you anywhere and anytime if it makes you feel better” and his lips curved into a smile Derek treasured more than pure gold. It was his turn to say something, to share with his mate what was going on, ‘I can smell your curiosity and confusion in your scent.’

So, as if the mood had lightened and Stiles could pull out all his jokes out his pockets without having a possessive wolf biting off his neck, Derek seemed more content as he spoke to fill his mate’s curiosity. He looked around himself and the boy did the same, to make sure they were on the same page.

“This is a nest,” was the first thing he said which got Stiles' eyes to become wider with shock. “I won’t explain what a nest is to you, I’m pretty sure you’ve learned about birds in elementary school.” Derek’s blue eyes seemed to soften, leaving just a pale tint of it on his green irises; the boy knew things were settling down.

Stiles looked once again around himself, the clothes and blankets thrown all around them in little mountains, “so, you become a bird when you’re an omega?” Derek cracked up laughing and shot a mocking offended look at the boy who joined in the laughing rhythm.

“No, darling, It’s kind of a… instinct?” Stiles was more confused than before and Derek had a ‘I don’t know how to make you get it’ face that the boy soon laughed at. “So, a traditional bird homecoming gift?” More laughs filled the dark room as dinner was around the corner.

Stiles could feel the wolf starting to get frustrated with words not coming out the way he wanted them to, so he made a little offer. “Let’s do this: I'm going to make something to eat so you have time to think about this, alright? I’ll bring you dinner in bed so you won’t have to leave this nest, mh?”

Derek nodded almost too quickly and Stiles thought they might’ve made some progress since he got no growls at the suggestion of him leaving. He quickly left and got back with dinner, some left over from lunch wrapped in paper towels that they ate in the quiet of the room.

Dinner was gone quickly enough and they were back laying on the bed, Stiles on his back and Derek on his side facing him. Blue eyes were almost gone and the boy wondered a thousand things about them. However, something different was coming his way as the wolf caught his attention, taking a deep breath.

“A nest is just a calm space I make to spend my heat… theoretically, you have your mate in here throughout all of it.” His explanation was enough for Stiles to understand and kind of forget about the birds.

Some kind of revelation hit the boy’s mind as he asked a question. “It’s comfy because maybe it has our scent all over it?” His eyes had some hope in them, ‘maybe I’m starting to understand something of this whole thing that’s going on.’

Derek nodded as he scooped closer to Stiles, whose arm went around his back while the other rested on his own flat stomach. What came out of his mouth next surprised the boy, but not in a way he wouldn't be able to predict. Yet, he decided to let things flow naturally, he'd rather smell calm for Derek than panicked.

“I don't really like it… How I get when this time of the year comes along…”

He almost went to hide his face in Stiles’ neck, searching for shelter from the truth that seemed too heavy to carry alone. His mate caressed his lower back, his free hand took one of Derek's and placed it on his stomach, holding him there gently.

Stiles’ response hung in the air, waiting to place itself somewhere. “We are in this together, I don’t want you to feel bad about something that's… Natural to you.” He tried his best with the little knowledge he had about the whole matter, ‘I just want you to be fine, I don’t care about much else.’

His words got Derek to melt a little more on top of him as one leg found a place on Stiles’ own and something spawned in his mind, a little reminder of how things changed. Being always so close, almost more than usual, which was already a lot per se.

Letting the thought to itself for a few more minutes, assuring that Derek wasn’t feeling bad anyhow, both physically and mentally, his voice came through as his hands never stopped showing their love to his mate.

“Is it normal I’m under the impression we are both more possessive with one another?”

The wolf didn’t freeze like Stiles expected him to, he just laid there on top of him and a few purrs came out of him, almost satisfied that his mate could feel the same as him despite being human. Their intertwined hands held stronger in unison as if they both knew something, their minds seemingly aligned.

“I’m glad you feel it too…” Stiles still had a small questioning look on his face, wanting to know why despite the obvious of being a simple guy. “We aren’t even mated completely but you feel it anyway.” Derek nuzzled his neck with care, being content with his mate.

Then the boy talked as well, just a little. “And I ain’t got those” added Stiles licking his canines and Derek showed them to him, fangs long just because he could be silly with him and he missed being alive without worrying about anyone else. “Also that, yeah” was all the confirmation the boy needed.

Another question arrived his way but he didn't know if it was a good thing to go on with them, but as the wolf had pale blue eyes and a sappy smile, his words were enough to calm Stiles. “It’s okay, you can ask. After all, you know nothing about these things… And it’s on me to teach you, kind of.”

Before saying anything, a small kiss was placed on the wolf’s forehead and then Stiles talked again, another question. “What's the heat going to be like? Like, I have a brief idea, but you know, maybe you want it another way. I just wanna know what you want.”

That time, his words got Derek to shiver just slightly, nothing too harsh that seemed to indicate he was back at how Stiles found him. ‘Guess it’s time…’ The wolf’s eyes went over the other, searching for something comforting in his irises and he found everything he needed to start talking.

Stiles caressed his back, held his hands, had caring eyes and a calm scent, Derek thought ‘of all the things that happened to me, you’re the best of them all.’ His words were about to come to the surface, but first he wanted to change position, to feel closer to his mate just for the comfort it provided him.

He slowly sat on the bed and Stiles had eyes all over him as he let go of his hand, knowing he wasn’t about to go anywhere. One leg by each side, the wolf sat on the boy’s lap, laying down on him as his cheek rested on his skinny chest. Stiles brought both his hands over his back, drawing patterns they both memorized.

“Remember how I told you it was about finding a mate?” Stiles nodded, hands going to caress his thighs in calming motions. “The part we let out from the article you found?” And the boy nodded again, understanding the basics once again and waiting for his mate to tell him more.

He took a deep breath and Stiles’ calm and lovely scent did wonders on him, just like they both seemed to know it’d work. “It gets very intense and it’s like… losing your mind to the feeling...” His voice was thin, barely any emotion was in it apart from something the boy thought was close to the feeling of being lost.

“For you, it’ll be just the feeling of possessiveness since you aren’t a werewolf,” he kept going anyway even if his tone dropped significantly when he was about to talk about his side of the matter. But Stiles kept him close, reassuring him it was just them, no one was in their attic.

Under the boy’s fingers, his body wasn’t as tense as he thought it’d be and he found it to be a good sign, ‘maybe.’ Derek went on with his explanation that surprisingly, even for him, was easier to talk to than expected, but the hard part was yet to come.

“For me, it’s all blurred, it’s almost like it’s not… Me, who’s there with you” and his eyes shot up to find Stiles’, trying to see if he understood what he meant, and surprisingly he did with a metaphor of his that the wolf never really thought of. “Like you’re drugged?”

The wolf nodded in response, glad to be understood easily. Stiles was the next to speak and his words hit the jackpot and he knew it too, “you don’t like it when you lose control?” They both knew what he meant and he even said it out loud.

“You don’t want to get lost in something that once hurt you, right?”

‘How do I tell you things I’ve never thought would be talked about?’

The boy’s words were met with one line of thought from the wolf, which Stiles read without any problem. “I think you’ve told me enough, you don’t have to tell me more than this if it’s too much. We’ll figure things out anyway.” But Derek knew he had to tell him. He wanted to.

On his lap, Derek took a deep breath and in his chest, Stiles had a feeling something was wrong, something that hung in his mate’s mind a bit too long and his word proved him right. “You know, I’ve already told you something about Kate…”

‘There’s always more with that bitch…’ The wolf could read it in his scent and he shivered with nervousness under the boy’s fingertips. “Sorry, I just want you to feel safe and loved here…” And Derek nuzzled his neck once again, breathing something more calm and gentle than insults directed to her.

His words came back to hit Stiles’ ears, his voice quiet and docile, something the boy never thought could be tagged to Derek Hale. Well, at least not the version he knew from a little more than a year back.

“She was the first to be there with me through… One of these.”

“She chained me to the bed, ran knives up and down my stomach, my legs…” Stiles’ hands went exactly there, soft and caring, not allowing her to cause any more damage than what she already did. Derek melted in the feeling, his mate covering the trace of his past with a veil of genuine love; it made him feel like being born again.

The dim light of the lamp illuminated Derek’s face as he looked up to meet Stiles’ eyes, resting his chin on his hands as they went palm down on the boy’s chest. In his eyes, the boy could tell tears were beginning to form and despite the scene becoming almost common in their relationship, he never wanted to see them again.

“She’d gag me, make a show of undressing in front of the bed. I tried to get away but there was wolfsbane on the chains,” Stiles wiped away a quiet tear. Derek didn’t seem sad, just defeated; his mate knew he might've thought about that moment over and over in his head until it didn’t make him feel anything.

‘It’s okay, she’s not going to touch you, ever again.’

Derek read it in his scent, his kind eyes and the small smile tugging his lips as the wolf flashed a shy blue at him; in them Stiles saw gratitude for finally being freed of all of it. “You’re safe here,” reminded the boy as his hands never stopped warming his thighs while more was being said.

“She kept saying I’d start to like it once she started…” Voice thin, body going cold under Stiles’ fingers and he took a blanket from the nest, hoping Derek wouldn’t bite him and wrapped him in it. “I was naked and so was she, the cuts she made were already gone.”

Stiles bit his inner cheek, knowing what he was about to hear, but Derek was docile under his touch, almost at peace as he felt better being there with his mate, who was meticulously taking care of him through it all. Yet, for a few seconds nothing came out Derek’s mouth, eyes closed and the boy was starting to get worried.

Never once stopping his ministrations, keeping him warm and making him feel safe, Stiles placed a strong arm above his back, firm and still, while the other kept stroking his lover’s thigh. Then words came again, eyes still closed despite being open all the time.

“She sat on my lap and raped me.”

Stiles looked at him, feeling a punch kicking the air out of his lungs as the words hit his ears but Derek sat there, on top of him wrapped in a blanket they slept in a week before, eyes closed. Heart rushing a hundred miles per hour, fingertips ever so lightly touching the other.

Skin touching fragile, strong muscle, the wolf was made out of ashes, someone that came out of an obituary, yet a boy made him feel alive. Not the living fire burning down the body but the flowers growing where the limbs once walked. Life was back to being his, only his.

But there was one last chain to break, one last thing to share and he hoped Stiles would be strong enough to handle it with him.

“She rode me till I passed out.” His body started trembling, the memory was back to hunt him but he felt the need to get it out, to let someone take care of him. Held him

Just like Stiles did. He wrapped his arms all around him, guiding the wolf’s arms around his neck as he made them both sit on the sofa bed. “Baby, I-” but Derek cut him off.

“When I woke up, I had a collar with a chain around my neck.” His eyes were still closed, he moved to get closer to his mate, to feel his warmth asking him to share it and his mate did, hugging him and wrapping the blanket around him impossibly tight, but it was grounding regardless.

“Derek…” His word was meant to send the message that he was understanding and that they’d pull through Derek’s trauma. Fingertips traced his lower back and the feeling gave the wolf some peace, a sense of home and belonging.

“I was chained to her basement’s floor for months. The chain eventually broke, I kept pulling them every day despite the wolfsbane.” Head rested on the boy’s shoulder, Derek wrapped his legs around Stiles’ torso, sitting leg crossed in his laps.

Stiles couldn’t say anything, nothing came out his mouth. He felt his heart shatter a little, losing a bit of its life but he never stopped surrounding Derek, he never stopped loving him. Then the body in his arms started shaking, almost out of pure fear and it broke him. It broke them both.

“I tried, you know?”

But he didn’t let Stiles say anything back, his eyes were finally open once again. Blue, cold, but somehow holding a will to fight his mate saw.

“I kept trying, you know?”

Stiles traced the line of his face with soft fingertips and Derek leaned in the sensation of being loved so gently and tenderly after everything; despite everything, his mate had his subtle way of telling him ‘you’re loved and I love you’ without having to speak.

“I kept pulling and pulling the chain on the ground. My neck was bloody every day, I was too weak to fight her back whenever she… Wanted to have fun with… Me.”

Derek pulled the hem of Stiles’ shirt at the bottom, asking for closure and the boy took it off, placing it in the nest knowing his mate might like his intention. Then, the wolf pulled the hem of his own shirt around the neck and his eyes pleaded to have a little help.

His mate helped him take off his shirt and dispose of it the same way, both taking up the space where once was the blanket. Eyes shining a tender blue, Derek was glad his mate was taking care of him, of the nest. Lips placed a ghost kiss on Stiles’ lips as the wolf closed the distance between them.

“She kept using me, basically every day and I remember almost everything about it. She made me feel like a toy, playing around with me.”

Searching for every drop of warmth he could get from Stiles, he held onto him like his life depended on it.

“When I escaped her, I hid in an abandoned mine for months, no one could find me.” He could feel both their hearts pumping blood, beating with life. Chest to chest, blanket around him, he felt at home in Stiles’ arms. His face instinctively went in the crock of his neck, his scent calming and soothing.

“Only one thing kept replying in my mind apart from what she did…” Stiles held his waist with one arm, his free hand kept stroking one of Derek’s thighs.

The body he was trying to warm up was shaking more, cold and pale, a memory coming to the surface to hunt Stiles’ mate once again. To cause nothing more than pain and his arms went rigid around him, holding him together like glue keeping a broken glass in place.

But black, putrid water poured out the cracks; the glue couldn’t repair it anyhow, couldn’t keep it in place and the liquid flowed out of the crevices in drops, waves calmly finding their way out as they hit their thin shell. It was meant to happen, for the fragile walls to be shattered and only one thing was meant to stay: the shards of the glass.

From where Derek was hiding his face in Stiles’ neck, he looked at him with those eyes of his and his words floated out along with the sorrow. More cracks and fractures let the cold in, body shaking under Stiles’ touch.

“Being on the receiving end is my disgrace.” His eyes flashed blue, cold and broken.

Stiles knew what he meant. Knew it meant that wanting to be touched was just going to get him more pain, that love was going to be painful because he was the one receiving it when it came to intimacy.

Stiles knew… The way of being in love when you aren’t the giver, the way it hunts you when you hear and feel how others perceive you when it comes to sex, how they’d like to use you. The way everything around you marks you as nothing more than a hole for pleasure and not even yours.

How their idea of ‘love’ could never be anything more than using you, how there’s nothing in it for you to have. Stiles knew Derek, somehow he did and he knew his mate was desperately asking for love, the kind of it they both knew was between them.

Despite everything, Stiles knew and he couldn’t begin to imagine the strength to pull through all of it. Of being used repeatedly, constantly till there was nothing more to give, until they drained you of everything but they still kept on going.

He was aware Derek felt that way and in that moment he felt it to its fullest, the angry touches, the degrading words that have been used to bring him down, the painful night of agony under someone’s demands. Everything that's been forced on him, the things he had to endure while hoping to get away.

It was about carnal desire, for others to use you and chain you somewhere just to have you ready to serve them and Stiles could read it all in his mate’s shaking body. Wanting to be loved with softly spoken words and tender, reassuring touches.

Nothing was left if not fragile bits of who Derek was, of who he wanted to be…

But there was something more in it. Stiles could see fire in his irises, the strength of surviving it all and the courage of trusting someone again. Derek wasn’t just a broken shell of fragile, small fragments that Stiles thought he had to keep together; his honor was another.

There was something immediately stronger in his eyes, the courage of trying again, of hoping things would be different and he had that look only for Stiles.

Pouring one into the other, pain floated out and love dived in. Derek cried for the last time that night and Stiles wiped away his tears. The boy opened his heart, tore it apart and let the love out to give it to his mate. Hot and burning, boiling even, his passion melted the shards back together in another shape.

Bodies tangled, limbs intertwined in messy veins and warm blood, Derek was being showered in Stiles’ adoration and it put together something he thought was meant to stay broken for the rest of his life. His eyes widened, blue fading away and green finding harbor in amber anchorages.

“Let’s make it your pride.”

Stiles’ words were met with a dim light reflecting in green eyes; Derek looked at him wondering what he actually meant as his body was coming down the high of the cold, shaking less and less as his mate covered him with veils of care, of tender, soothing and quiet devotion. Warm and thick, the cold wouldn’t be able to slip in his heart anymore.

Both the wolf’s hands went to cup the boy’s face, eyes questioning as the last few humid spots on his face went away while his body got warmer and warmer thanks to his mate. Legs squeezing Stiles’ own under him, Derek pulled the blanket to wrap it around his mate as well.

He pulled the wolf impossibly closer, hiding his face in his neck in return while the fingers on his cheeks went around his nape, trailing nice shapes and comforting patterns, all the while holding the blanket to cover him as well. Nuzzling Derek’s neck and checking he was calm and somewhat better than earlier, he spoke a little.

A promise. A dare. A hope.

“Let’s make something good out of this, your blue eyes won’t bring you down anymore. Ever.”

One feathered kiss was placed on Derek’s neck and he let the feeling float in him, guiding him places he thought had been scraped off the map before he even had a chance to explore himself following it. A deep, heavy breath left his nostril as he let his head fall back.

His mate held him, one hand on the back of his nape as Derek exposed his neck more to Stiles. “Are you okay with this?” Was then asked, Stiles retrieved his lips to himself and the other didn’t let him go anywhere. “Yes, kiss me more, please.”

It went all over his neck, followed the way up from it to his cheeks. Stiles showed him the wonders within tender kisses and strong arms holding him to the present moment. Their eyes locked and they couldn’t stop it anyhow, it was meant to happen again and again.

Derek pulled him closer and closer, taking his face in his hands and stealing his lips over and over again, hungry for more yet patient in receiving it, especially when Stiles tried everything to sooth him and care for him immensely. “Come here” the wolf then said as he gently sucked his mate’s bottom lip.

It was slow and warm, it gave Derek stability, knowing Stiles could mold him back together, forge him into the shape of an embrace only his mate, his Stiles could fit into. The wolf slid his tongue inside the other’s mouth and let out a little moan only for the other to hear.

Stiles turned them around and gently laid Derek on the mattress, staying on top of him, arms and legs by his side and the wolf wrapped his own legs around the boy’s hips. He wanted to talk, to ask him one last thing before he’d push them both to sleep at the break of midnight.

But Derek pulled him closer, stealing his tongue and his concentration, making out with him like it was the only thing he wanted to do for the rest of his life. “Baby, wait” he was finally able to say as he broke one last kiss and saw blue rings disappear.

“They won’t get stuck on being blue again.” The confession was enough for Stiles to know they were going the right way, maybe just a bit too fast. So, the boy finally spoke about the last dilemma of the night, before turning off the lamp to let them enjoy some good sleep.

“Want me to stay with you when your heat will come?” In his eyes there was a hint of concern that Derek wiped away immediately.

Just the soft, pale light of the moon gave them some field of view and Stiles was mesmerized by the man beneath him, ‘gorgeous and pretty’ and the other flushed a little as his mate’s scent had the words all over it. Stiles’ body over Derek made a little cave as the blanket was still on top of his shoulders.

“You know, it’s not fair you can read me through my scent like that,” but Derek bit back in record times and Stiles couldn't win that debate. “You read me like a book” and a few laughs found their way out. Then a few movements erupted.

Stiles fell on his side, Derek was already in his arms by the time he laid one arm on the wolf’s waist and the other under the pillows he found in the nest rather quickly. He threw the blanket over them and the wolf found his favorite place in the other’s chest.

“Just you, I want just you.” Derek’s last words of the night.

They then fell asleep as tangled bodies. Melted glass and a glazier.

A craving heart and warm, overflowing blood seeping through it.

Chapter Text

The very next day things turned out to be easier to handle than Stiles thought, or at least it seemed so to his eyes.

Waking up before Derek, a few hours after the breaking of dawn, his first idea was to make breakfast in bed just because he could and wanted to treat his mate with a fine meal since he wasn’t feeling his best. And also because deep down the boy knew…

‘He’s not stepping out of that nest in the next few days… I’m better off bringing everything to him, so princess treatment be it.’

And nothing could have ever been truer than that. Breakfast was made relatively calm while he thought about what the day might have prepared for them, but it was too vague of a thought to give him any answer; he knew he’d had to ask the wolf about it.

It was all ready around a quarter hour later. He brought everything to the attic and his eyes noticed movements in their little valley of clothes. Derek was waking up and was unconsciously searching for Stiles with one arm going around the empty space by his side.

Before things could escalate anyhow, the boy was back in his spot, sitting there while taking the other’s hand in his and placing it above his stomach. Breakfast was placed on the floor by the boy’s side and a few words left his lips. “Good morning, grumpy guy.” Eyes shot back in Stiles’ own and a small smile appeared on his mate’s lips.

“Morning” was almost too low and murmured into the pillow that the boy wasn’t sure he’d caught it right but he did anyway. Then, he slowly pulled the wolf in a sitting position in the best way possible, while Derek hissed and growled at the thought of moving seconds after waking up.

“Come on, princess, we got breakfast in bed this morning.” The wolf’s eyes perked up at him, a spark lightened up the boy’s morning hours and Derek seemed to gather all his energy, but just after he gave the boy a flattered look. He looked around himself before moving and the boy knew what he was searching for.

Stiles had put on his shirt from the previous night to go make dinner and Derek had looked at the cloth with nostalgia; a shiver running down his spine as the cold air of the attic hit his skin. No words were needed as the boy picked the wolf’s shirt from the nest and helped him wear it.

They sat together, Stiles pulling the hem right around the other’s waistline to make sure he had some kind of protection from the cold. Everything went down without a single fearful look from his mate and Stiles was grateful like never before.

Finally at ease in the nest, the boy served breakfast and the heavy veil of sleep falling above them made them eat in silence. Side by side, boxers and shirts were the only clothes allowed to be worn in the attic, everything seemed peaceful in a way neither of them thought possible after both their lives’ experiences with the supernatural and not.

Everything was gone from their plates and Stiles was already on the edge of showering the other with all his questions and Derek, just like always, read his scent and gave him a ‘go on’ kind of look. He once again took his hand in his while the wolf laid his head on the boy’s shoulder, staying side by side.

“What do you wanna do while we wait for your heat? I can go grad Twister if you want.” Before Derek could answer him, the thought of playing with Stiles cracked a huge laugh out of him, which was really needed as something was starting to feel strange in his lower abdomen. It was starting to show as well.

Stiles noticed the small hint of discomfort that was beginning to come to the surface on the wolf’s features, so he caressed the back of Derek’s hand with his thumb while keeping hold of it. “Something’s wrong?” Was all the boy asked with a worried expression on his face, eyes staring at Derek’s free hand finding harbor on his stomach.

“Just a small ache, nothing much…” But Stiles could tell right away it had something to do with his heat, or at least he thought so since it was the most understandable option. So, his own free hand went above Derek’s stomach and he did that old trick his mother taught him, making slow circles to make the pain go away. The wolf’s hand found its new home above the boy’s, following his movements.

Derek just melted under his touch like he always did, calm and delighted with Stiles’ actions and his answer kind of went along with the question that previously came afloat. “I don’t know when it’ll come. It’s supposed to last a week and be done with, but you know, mine’s kind of messed up so it’s just a day… It could be tonight as it could be in three days.”

The boy just hummed his understanding, hands never stopping their soothing motions on the other’s stomach and hand. Derek didn’t really answer his question so Stiles pushed a bit, asking just a simple “and what you wanna do? I’m pretty sure we have all the time in the world.”

Green eyes looked into his own from where his head was laid on the boy’s shoulder. “I don’t know, I don’t feel so well…” For a few minutes Stiles simply caressed him, nothing else in his mind until his eyes scanned the room, searching for something that could help his mate feel a bit better.

His little inspection revealed once again the double door on the left wall, ‘I always thought of it as a bathroom, maybe I’m right…’ Hands never stopping, he pondered a bit if it could be a good idea and once decided it was the best thing to make his mate relax, he gave it a try.

“What about a bath? Would that help?” Was what he said while Derek was beginning to fall asleep once again, but his ears perked up at the offer and snuggled closer to the boy’s side, keeping his mate’s hand on his stomach. It was making him feel a lot better already, all thanks to Stiles’ care.

In the wolf’s mind, the idea sounded extremely good but his body wasn’t of the same opinion, wanting to just lay on the bed as there was a persistent ache throughout his entire body. “I’d like that, but I don’t feel like walking, I feel…” But nothing else came out of his mouth and Stiles waited for him, like he always did.

The sun was starting to creep in through the window behind them, stripes and shadows were portrayed on the floor in front of the bed. Silence filled the room along with the birds’ songs, whose home was probably on the loft’s roof and the wolf seemed to be familiar with them being there.

‘You probably didn’t mind them and it’s been this way for a few years, right?’ Was all the boy thought when a little hum came his way from Derek, who was still decrypting his own mind for Stiles to hear. Nothing was to translate, but everything was still to be discovered.

Stiles knew they had a bit more than two hours before lunch would clock in to steal one of them from the nest and lure him into the kitchen, but the boy was fine with it, he had to wait, he wanted to. And as he laid his head on the other’s still on his shoulder, his eyes noticed where Derek was looking.

Their conjoined figures on the hardwood spoke their love as neither of them moved, both their eyes staring at the sketch on the floor. A pale black made the form of their connection, yet both knew it wasn’t real. Black didn’t suit them, earthy colors were more of their appeal, just the way their irises were.

Derek didn’t move as his eyes flashed a blue Stiles was quickly starting to get mesmerized by and the wolf noticed his likeness as he felt his gaze heavy and caring upon himself. Not really moving even after that, words started to float out and the boy was all ears for them.

“It makes me feel so sensitive that everything feels too much to handle.” He snuggled closer to Stiles and the boy held his lower abdomen. It reminded him of a protective gesture of sorts, “my body feels heavy, like I don’t have any energy to do anything.”

Stiles’ mind rushed to fatigue and a bunch of other things, which made the bath the best option to ease some of the ache his mate was feeling. But Derek didn’t finish speaking and the boy held back his words. “I just want to be by your side and it almost feels like it’s the only thing keeping me from going insane with this” and he gestured his stomach.

The hand there held him and caressed him, trying to sooth him even more. Derek leaned into the touch, craving more and receiving just as much, then his mate talked, voice sweet and soft like the hand soothing him. “Let's make a little plan for the bath then, I’m sure it’ll help you relax a lot.”

Green eyes looked up, a puppy-like expression Stiles swore to protect and keep strictly to himself as he never thought the wolf to be capable of such displays. Derek was waiting for him, agreeing to whatever the boy was about to plan for them both.

‘So? I’m waiting for you, darling’ was written in that delighted look that made Stiles almost completely speechless.

Almost.

He had to look at the floor or Derek’s eyes would steal even the last drop of concentration he had left, then he started planning and it came together rather quickly. “So, here’s the plan. One: you have a bath behind that double door, don’t you?” The wolf nodded as the boy pointed at the doors, “knew it” was all Stiles said back and then proceeded with the plan.

“One-point-one: I will start filling the tub while you wait for me.” Stiles started counting on his fingers the steps of his plan and Derek had eyes only for him. “Two: I come back, pick you up and bring you in there. Three: we get you undressed and in the warm water.”

It wasn’t the hand on his stomach counting so he had yet a source of comfort while his mate spoke to him, all excited for his little plan of the day. “Four: you relax while I wash your hair and back. Optional five: we can chat a bit about anything you want. Deal?”

The wolf nodded his approval to everything, even though they both knew he was already on board at the first word that left Stiles’ mouth. “Alright then” the boy started saying as he placed a delicate kiss on the other’s temple, “I’ll go fill the tub, you wait for me here.”

Stiles slowly untangled himself from Derek, who decided to try and be patient while waiting for his mate to be back. The boy found it extremely strange to leave the wolf’s side, feeling like he had to go back as soon as possible, so he made a quick work with the warm water that was currently filling the tub, while some soap was in it as well, beginning to form foam.

He was back in the space of the attic before the clock could hit five minutes and the boy knew he had to be near as much as possible to his mate; he just felt it in his chest. From where he stood in front of the doors, the wolf laid on his side, back facing the bathroom, trembling ever so slightly while the light casted upon him caught every movement.

Walking in a hurry to get by his side, Stiles kneeled beside the bed and looked at Derek while taking one of his hands and stroking his hair softly. His mate looked more stressed and in pain at not having him by his side for less than a minute than he did when he was covered in injuries; it was a sight Stiles was going to erase, no matter what.

“Hey, everything’s okay, I’m right here,” was a soft mumble of reassurance meant only for Derek and the wolf melted in it, taking everything that came with the softly spoken words his mate gifted him. Green eyes looked into amber one for a few more seconds.

‘The tub…’

The wolf knew he had to move to get the plan going and so he rolled on his back, then started raising on his elbows, not trembling as much anymore but still somewhat weaker than normal. The boy had concern all over his face; it felt wrong to see Derek looking so miserable as he seemed to be so weak while moving.

Therefore, Stiles didn’t let him do much else, stopping his limbs and being the mate he knew Derek needed.

Simply saying “let me” got the boy all he needed to operate. Derek stopped and looked at him in question, skin getting a bit paler along with a little whine escaping his throat; it sounded painful to the boy’s ears. Stiles slowly let go of him, retrieving his arms and Derek had eyes all over him.

He slid his arms beneath his lover’s torso and knees, then carefully picked Derek up bridal style like he weighed nothing. He didn’t immediately walk as he waited for his mate to feel comfortable and safe in his hold, and when came next didn't surprise him much.

“How do you…” Derek’s questioning look and voice was followed by his arms going around Stiles’ neck, nuzzling his neck and relaxing in his mate’s arms, content to be taken care of so carefully. His wonders about the other's strength soon left his mind but the boy gave him an answer anyway while caressing his body, the exposed skin from his shirt.

Walking back to the bathroom, where warm water was waiting for them, words came through. “I'm stronger than I look. Guess you'll like exploiting the hell out of it, right baby?” And Derek just had the biggest smile possible, that made Stiles hold him closer to his own body.

Fingertips traced the skin of the wolf's torso and it made him feel a hundred things at a time, while the boy kept on going with his journey of getting his mate to relax. It didn’t take them long before they were together in the bathroom, Derek not wanting to let go of Stiles for the life of him.

“Come on baby, I’m not going anywhere, swear.” It took the boy just a small but sincere encouragement to allow him to help the other sit on the closed toilet seat; it was like Stiles prepared everything for them. Therefore, Derek sat there and his mate closed the door of the bathroom like someone else could be in the loft with them.

Walking back the boy scanned the space again. A long rectangular room, one side with the toilet and the bidet, the other with the sink and a bunch of cabinets, no dryer or washing machine, ‘it’s probably somewhere else.’ Opposite to the doors, the tub faced them and behind it there was a wall of glass looking upon the suburbs of the city, giving in to the Preserve.

The bathroom fixtures were white, while the walls, the floor and everything else was in shades of jade green. Some tones were darker, reminding him of the forest outside behind the tub, like the ceramic tiles on the floor. While others were lighter, jade tones blended in with stronger ones, sometimes also pale ones, like the walls made in the same material.

The cabinets were of a soft, almost spent brown, something in it reminded Stiles of a wooden door falling off his hinges, covered in dust. All the towels here and there followed the same pattern of colors and he couldn’t hold his comments back. “I never thought you were such a designer” and he trailed his fingers on the wall by his side.

The wolf stared at him for a bit, then looked around himself. “I like a neat, comfortable bathroom” was all he said and Stiles kind of understood what was on the tip of the other’s tongue, but never pushed further on it. ‘A place where you can lick your wounds alone and search for some comfort…’

His thoughts hit the target and Derek called him to come closer, “darling” and grabby hands were enough to get his mate’s attention while the boy smiled at such a silly play of gestures. “Never thought I’d see you do grabby hands,” he surprisingly remarked; it was met with a soft “guess there’s always a first for everything when you find the right guy.”

Besides, by the time he was back in front of his mate, Derek had his hands on the boy’s thighs, making sure he’d stay close, seeking the warmth in his limbs and staring at the steam coming from the warm water of the tub while searching for his mate’s eyes. “Want a little help?” Was Stiles’ offer, which the wolf took without needing a second thought.

Stiles grabbed the hem of Derek’s shirt and the wolf raised his arms, making the task easier for them both; once the shirt was not covering his mate, the boy threw it to the side, upon one of the cabinets lined with the sink. Stiles kneeled in front of the other with a gentle smile.

The boy simply slid one finger between the fabric of the boxers and Derek’s thigh, eyes careful while green ones were enjoying the boy’s little touches, so reckless and lovely and only for him. Soon, words accompanied the gesture, “I’ll check the water. You take these off, alright?”

Nodding, Derek did as Stiles asked him while the other was facing the body of water, checking it was still warm enough for his mate. Once his boxers were being abandoned too, the boy was back by his side, now carefully picking him back up just like a few minutes earlier.

“Like it when I pick you up like this?” Stiles said, almost to mock them both cause the answer was clear as day. “Do you?” responded Derek while his mate walked slowly over the tub and his body could already feel the hot water waiting for him. Both of them played along, knowing each of them secretly enjoyed it.

Stiles lowered the other’s body with a care Derek almost didn’t expect, probably thinking it was something he’d never experience on his own, but the boy kept showing him how love can be nothing but gentle. Slowly, every part of his body was coming in touch with the water and he was starting to relax already.

Once Derek was completely immersed into the warm water, he started to purr without even thinking about it and in the span of a few seconds, it had become the only sound filling the bathroom. Stiles kneeled by the tub, arms crossed on the edge of it as he rested his head on his hands to look at the other.

“You like it?” It was almost a stupid question coming from Stiles, but Derek didn’t mind it; he knew his mate was just checking in like he always did. “Sure do,” was all the wolf said as he let his body send the rest of the message, which he knew the boy was looking at with stolen gazes.

Amber eyes fell carefully on the other’s figure, not sure if he could steal a few lines to make a painting in his mind. But his muse could read the room, posing with a relaxed body only for the boy to see and admire. Pupils widened and gazes merged into a long, portraying stare.

Both his arms were on his stomach, mimicking his mate’s gestures there as the ache went away with the warmth of the bath; knees bent slightly, barely any skin was out the water’s surface. He had a calm, placid expression that Stiles admired, painting every line of it.

‘I don’t want to forget how peaceful you can be… How I am the only one able to make you look like this.’

The dim glow from the glass wall created spots on the water, little circles of light moved along the waves Derek made while breathing or caressing his stomach. Stiles memorized everything, making hundreds of images he’d redo on paper if he could. ‘But I’d rather keep everything for us, just the two of us.’

Therefore, before anything else could happen or that the boy could imprint in his mind, the unexpected came and a distinct sound neither of them wanted to hear came to their senses: the loft’s bell ringing.

Blue eyes stared at the door, fangs made their way out and hands were gripping the edge of the tub, somewhat ready to fight whoever came to disturb their peace. But Stiles noticed it and let out a river of words. “Baby don’t worry, I’ll go check who it is and kind of push them away, alright?”

Derek didn’t seem to agree to the boy’s second plan of the day, so Stiles made sure his mate knew everything was okay. He took one of the wolf’s hands, held it and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it as his fingers massaged the palm; eyes pleading for just a minute to take care of their guest.

The wolf calmed down, fangs disappearing as quickly as they came out while his eyes buzzed into a paler shade of blue, but not going away. Stiles kissed his hand again, eyes closed as he tried to make his scent calmer for the other even though he had no idea how it exactly worked.

Although, when the wolf’s body melted right back into the water, it wasn’t totally free from the tension of having someone so close in his home while he didn’t want anyone except for Stiles. “Come back quickly…” And Derek let go of the boy’s hand while looking at him, ‘don’t want to be alone’ was the part the other had to read right out blueish eyes.

“Be right back, promise” was spatted quickly, however before he went away Stiles gave the wolf a soft kiss on his lips, sealing his promise; he then walked out of the room, feeling eyes staring at him as he did so. He didn't care about his attire, whoever it was would deal with his boxers and shirt whether they liked it or not.

Going down the stairs, it didn’t take him long before he was in front of the door, pulling it open and greeting their, unfortunately for the week, unwanted guest. Standing there like he had nothing better to do, sniffing the air and pulling a disgusted expression, Scott looked at his best friend in question.

“Stiles, what’s up with this smell? It's so sweet that it’s pinching my nose!” The comment didn’t leave Stiles with much if not the doubt of what the smell was about, but he didn’t have time for it. He made quick work of stopping his best friend right at the door, not even letting him come inside.

The boy leaned on the door’s frame, elongating his body so as to make a fence the other couldn’t step over. “Hey, Scotty! Why you here?” It sounded quite offensive to ask, but it was necessary to an extent; he couldn’t simply shut the door in his face after all.

Scott almost paid no mind to his friend’s attire; his thoughts ran from how he looked as if he was living with Derek and how maybe something just happened, something he shouldn’t probably know. Crossing his arms, in the alpha’s eyes Stiles seemed to shield something, but it wasn’t a business of his.

‘Gotta make this end quickly or someone’s not getting out of this with their throat attached to their necks!’ His eyes were wide; he seemed to have done a marathon and Scott scanned his slim figure, wondering what got his friend’s heart to pound so loudly. “Dude chill, sounds like you ran the miles on the Jeep.”

Stiles didn’t respond, just waited for the other to answer him, expecting everything to be over as soon as possible and in that moment he thanked whoever it was that prohibited Scott from learning how to read subtle chemo signals. ‘You might smell something, but definitely not everything… Ah! You lazy ass.’

The alpha didn’t budge nor seemed offended knowing the other’s behavior so he just answered him, yet Stiles knew it was going to be hard to push Scott away as fast as possible without sounding like an asshole. “Just thought we might spend some together. You, me and Derek.”

The answer surprised the boy that he almost fell, arms giving out as he was laid on the doorframe. ‘Sweet, but!’ He made a quick smile appear on his lips and with the best concerned expression he told him, “sorry buddy, it’s not a good week, maybe another time alright?”

Before Scott could say anything to him Stiles shut the door in his face, hoping the other would go away without pulling up a fight about it. “Stiles, are you alright? Come on buddy, I told you I’m sorry about Derek…” It basically got screamed at the door and their conversation didn’t last long anyway.

Stiles didn’t open the door, just screamed back in a squeaking voice while he was already going back up the stairs. “Just go, bud, all’s good!” Dumbfounded and partially hurt, Scott left and Stiles took two steps at the time to reach the attic in record time.

‘Gotta be back to my loverboy!’

Doors pushed wide open, breath heavy and both arms kept the doors apart, head low and panting as the shirt drew a solid shape that wasn’t his body. Amber eyes shot back up from the floor as he heard some waves in the water, like it was being moved away.

Amber found green in their tango of colors; neither of them seemed to be able to stop dancing, yet it was more blue than green and Stiles had a vague idea as to why. But he asked, like he always did. “What’s wrong, baby?” Words came by as he stepped closer to his mate, who was still relaxed in the warm water despite the visitor the boy had to push away.

Blue eyes buzzed at the boy as he kneeled once again by the tub, one fingertip dangling above the water and drawing little waves. Stiles' hand was caught by one of the other’s hands, intertwining their fingers and the boy tried to be as calm and lovely as possible, always having in mind the trick with his scent that soothed the wolf.

His voice was raspy and low, a rumble in the quiet of the bathroom as more light drew stripes on them both; more shadows formed behind them. “Don’t want you to smell like others, don’t want to have anyone near us while I’m…” He had to take a deep breath and he held his mate’s hand stronger.

Stiles did the same, placing another chaste kiss on the back of Derek’s hand as he spoke, “while I’m in heat, I just want you to be with me. Don’t want anyone else to disturb us.” The wolf’s head laid back on the tub’s edge, his free hand always on his stomach.

Without saying a word, the boy moved and slowly let go of his hand but Derek wasn’t afraid he was going to leave; he knew Stiles would never do that to him. ‘What are you doing?’ The wolf’s mind wondered as his eyes were locked on his mate wandering around their bathroom.

Crossed arms found harbor on the smooth edge of the tub, head rested on it while blue eyes buzzed slightly and absorbed every one of Stiles’ actions. Knees bent, following the line of his body, hitting the edge as well in the boy’s direction to properly look at him.

His back was to the wolf as he searched for something and then found it. He took off his shirt and slid on the one Derek was wearing, making a big show out of it, letting it fall gracefully over his thin frame and tucking the side of it in his boxers.

Although, turning around to show Derek his little masterpiece of fashion, his amber eyes grew wider with how his breath had been kicked out of his lungs. The comment his mind made was something he could never keep to himself, not when Derek was the muse behind it. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid my eyes on…”

Derek shied away a bit at the sudden compliment, hiding his face in crossed arms while hoping Stiles wasn’t going to shower him in praises when he was feeling too hot, while his heat was settling into his body. But the boy wasn’t over talking, especially if it got him his mate being painted with a soft blush of red.

‘Ohh if I’m not done with you, I’m so gonna love you in every way I can think of.’

He walked closer and more words came out his mouth. “I’m sure you remember the pool with the kanima,” he was just about a few steps away. “You threw me in the water and then I kept you afloat, you were so close to me and for a moment…”

“...I thought it didn’t bother you, that it was just you and me.” Derek extended one arm to reach for him and it caught Stiles’ thigh as he stood near the tub. “I never wanted to let you go, I wanted to keep you forever.” Soft, warm lips found their home on the boy’s thigh, just below the end of his boxers.

Derek kissed his skin, hand holding him there, close to him. Green was back to inhabit his eyes and Stiles knew he hit the jackpot. He held Derek’s hand, moving it away from his thigh and went behind him, sitting on a stool he didn’t see before.

He guided the wolf’s arms to make a diagonal line across his chest while leaving his other hand to rest on his stomach. “I think I always wanted it to be you.” Stiles started washing his back slowly, scooping up some water with his free hand and letting it slide down the other’s nape.

The wolf moved a bit forward, hand going from stomach to holding his knees as he gave his mate access to his back. “There’s no one that compares to you,” Stiles let Derek's hand rest on his shoulder, like he was hugging himself, “to me, you’re everything that matters.”

Eyes shot in his direction as Derek looked behind himself; it caught Stiles’ attention and he started prepping the other’s skin with kisses and soft touches. His hand trailed lower without any intention and the wolf felt a shiver going down his spine, the kind he liked to feel thanks to his mate.

Stiles was basically done with washing his back and pouring soft memories out the other’s mind, constellating them with more meaning, giving them some more weight. He was about to start washing the other’s hair when Derek did something that definitely caught his attention once again.

Laying back, one arm went around Stiles’ neck, head tilted back making Derek able to steal a kiss from his mate, which turned in a few more as the boy placed a soft hand on one side of the wolf’s neck, holding him there with him. “Someone likes to be sweet, mh?”

His comment reminded him of what Scott said earlier and it made Derek growl a little, while he also bit the boy’s lips, “don’t you dare think about him.” Stiles let his thoughts go away, wiping them off his mind, “sorry baby, it’s just…”

Derek felt a little guilty taking away Stiles’ curiosity, so he tried to solve it before it could eat them both. “Sorry darling, I got a bit too possessive with you… What are you curious about?” He gave him a soft, apologizing kiss on the cheek as he laid his head back to look at him with pleading eyes.

“It’s okay baby, I like you being possessive, I can be too,” Stiles gave him a more solid kiss back, accepting his apologizes and reassuring him nothing was wrong. “He said the loft smelled sweet, like way too sweet that it pinched his nose, is it something about scent?”

The response wasn’t late to arrive, “yeah, it’s probably my scent that’s all over the place.” His eyes were gazing at every feature of Stiles’ face, while he felt his tender hand disappearing in his hair, wetting his scalp as he asked “what’s mine like? My scent.”

The wolf took in a deep breath and his pupils dilated, “you smell like my mate, like everything I’ve always wanted,” he made more room behind himself but Stiles didn’t really pay it any mind. “You smell like the forest after a heavy rainy day, some hint of lavender from a blossomed field…”

Eyes looked behind himself, searching to see his mate and feeling his hands resting up and down his back. “Like honey that has just been made by bees, at the break of dawn while the sun hasn't made its full appearance yet.” Stiles’ eyes had only adoration in them.

And what he said after wasn’t something the wolf expected to hear, “I bet you smell like vanilla though” and neither of them moved; Derek wanted to hear more even if he knew the boy couldn’t really smell his scent, but maybe Scott’s hint was enough to get Stiles’ mind to wonder.

“Like a pine forest after a windy day, maybe even a storm with thunder.” Stiles took some shampoo in his hands and made foam out of it, starting to massage it in the other’s hair. “I bet everything that you smell just like me, easy” and they both stared at one another, sappy smiles and stolen gazes.

“I think you are right” was all the boy heard back unexpectedly, while he was pulling the other’s body to slowly lay back on the edge, washing his hair. Derek did as Stiles wanted, letting him do as he pleased and enjoyed their time while his mind had an idea.

But before any word came out his mouth, he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of Stiles taking care of him, while his eyes gazed out the window, wondering a bit about what would come next and how it might feel with the boy. His arms went back about the other’s neck, pulling him closer and stealing a kiss.

They locked eyes and Derek finally spoke what was on his mind; he could tell Stiles had been waiting for him to talk. “Wouldn’t it be more comfortable if you were in here with me?” He made his eyes flash their signature blue, pleading and demanding at the same time just for his mate to see.

Stiles stared at him, taking in the sight of Derek being so lovely; besides, being the only one allowed to see him like that while feeling his fingertips on his nape, luring him to join him was something he would treasure for the rest of his life. “Everything you wish,” he simply said as he gave him a soft kiss and soaked his hands in the water, washing away the foam.

He made a quick work of his clothes, taking them off and setting them aside where Derek’s once were too. It was when he connected the dots that he noticed the wolf had moved forward on the tub, leaving a gap behind himself. ‘You kind of planned this, didn’t you?’

Derek looked at him, hugging his knees and resting his head on them, “maybe” was all he said back as Stiles entered the tub, sitting behind him. Both naked, they felt each other's skin while the wolf rested his head on the other’s shoulder. The sun was coming to his pick but neither of them paid any attention to it.

The boy sat behind him, one leg by each side of the other; he slowly started to wash out the shampoo from Derek’s hair, cupping up water and letting it fall on his head. All the while, the wolf’s hands found harbor on the other’s thighs, stroking them gently, ‘thank you’ were the message behind his gestures other than simple devotion to one another.

Stiles slid his arms along Derek’s side once he was done with the foam, running fingers down his torso till he reached his hips; one hand stayed there while the other went over his lower stomach, somehow he had a feeling it was a sensitive spot, perhaps a place the other needed to feel protected.

They spent some more time in the water until it got completely cold. Stiles even covered his neck in kisses and soft touched with his nose while Derek melted in his embrace, purring in his arms. Lunch ended up being served in bed when the boy forced them both out of the tub, leaving the wolf on the bed and running to the kitchen to make something to eat.

Spending the rest of their day between napping in bed and kissing like teenage boys, a little over than a day went by and neither of them really wanted to spend their time worrying about the upcoming heat that was hovering between them like sailors waiting for a storm to hit.

Perhaps, it didn’t take too much time for it to happen again. Around midnight, the tub was filled with warm water for the second time that week. They were both in it while hands traveled on skin and there was soft music coming out the speakers of Stiles’ phone. Derek was living the moment, thinking about something he might’ve wanted to try with his mate.

‘Maybe just a little, maybe it’d be enough… Maybe it won’t be uncomfortable if it’s you.’ His mind kept the words to itself; the boy couldn't read them in his eyes since the wolf had them blissfully closed, a sight the other couldn’t get enough of.

Stiles had his arms around the other’s torso, fingertips dancing on his skin while tracing the line of his muscles, making little waves on the water’s surface. Derek was between his legs, hands caressing the other’s thighs and head rested on the boy’s shoulder.

The words floated out, almost expected by them both. “It seems like it might not be as painful as you think, wouldn’t you say so?” Stiles murmured in their conjoined silence; his mind had been trailing around it for a while and finally his thoughts found their way out.

The wolf turned his head slightly to catch his mate’s eyes after he blinked a few times to get his own to focus, “what makes you say that?” Was all he actually responded back when the answer he wanted to give was another. ‘You can make it less painful for me…’ But he let it go unsaid, just a while longer, just a bit.

“Well,” Stiles held Derek’s lower stomach with care, “it looks like it doesn’t hurt anymore here, right?” The wolf nodded, ‘just thanks to you’ but the boy still read that in his eyes, which were staring at him in a seemingly sleepy manner. In the wolf’s mind, something was beginning to come to the surface.

But Derek stopped his mind from wandering, deciding on letting his mate in, slowly. But he was beaten in time. With every bit of calmness and playfulness, Stiles’ words were being whispered in the other’s ear. “Come on baby, talk to me. I know there’s something you’re keeping to yourself.”

His voice was gentle and luring, soft edges and tender core just like Derek knew the other to be like. “You can always get everything out of me,” it sounded like a plea for more and Stiles’ eyes widened with wonder. What the wolf said next left the boy wondering though. “What about the other way around?”

Not knowing what to say or think, the boy kept his silence and let Derek lead their upcoming dance, ‘what do you wanna dance? Tango or belly dance? I’m sure you’d nail the second one’ and forgetting about his scent got him a playful smack on one thigh but a silly smile was on the wolf’s face altogether.

Derek slid his arms behind the boy’s neck, circling around it in a loose but firm hold, water dripping down his elbows. Head turned back, he caught Stiles’ lips in a soft kiss while his legs opened more, slowly as if they were relaxed in the other’s hold. Stiles went along with his movement, but always with caution.

There was something more in it and he knew. The tub ended up looking like a tsunami, drops of water hit the ground, spilling out from the edges but neither of them cared; they’d take care of it later. The foam was almost all gone, the crystal clear mirror stared back at them.

Stiles trailed the outside of Derek’s thighs with careful, feathered touches as he felt the other’s legs being gently pressed into his palms, seeming to demand something more. “Talk to me, baby. What’s going on?” The boy’s voice had a veil of concern mixed with one of flirting; he didn’t know which one to pick.

Stealing another kiss from his mate, Derek looked into his eyes and a few words left his mouth, arms wrapped more tightly around the boy’s neck. “I want you to touch me” but it was so vague in the other’s ears, “we already are, tell me more” was a tiny whisper.

Stiles had a flirtatious tone in his words, soft as if testing the ground. The wolf flashed his eyes at him, some type of indication he was going down the right path and they both had a tender smile on their lips.

‘What else can you make me be? How much more can you undress me while I’m already naked?’

‘How many words are you hiding yourself with? What can we become once they are gone?’

Their eyes and scent exchanged their words like they were made out of thin air, leaving them the privilege of enjoying the silence that the wolf soon broke with a trembling but brave voice. “I want to know how good it can feel.” His head was turned all the way backwards, lips brushing the other's ear, leaving his neck bared for Stiles. One of the boy’s hands went to hold his neck there, providing some support.

The boy gave him a playful bite on the neck while Derek bit the soft part of his mate’s ear, playing their little dance around each other; some type of warm up for what was about to come. More words came in between them, “I want you to show me it can be good.”

Stiles looked at him with wonder, but there was no concern in his features. Derek took the hand that was still around his neck, eyes pleading looking into the boy’s ones. “Please?” And Stiles was a fool in love, but they both were. “Anything you want,” his lips kissed the wolf’s temple and he let Derek guide his hand.

Stiles could only see legs being moved apart, while his fingers were being trailed down Derek’s chest, slowly running down his stomach, then it stopped for a moment, hesitantly placed just below his hip. “It’s just you and me, no one can hurt you.” The boy’s soft whisper did the trick.

His words gained him a soft, vulnerable look from the wolf, who hid his face in the boy’s neck and prepped it with kisses and open mouthed bites. The journey went back on and Derek led his mate’s hand up his thigh till it reached his knee. Stiles started caressing his side with his free hand, “everything’s alright, take a deep breath for me.”

He did and the hand trailed back down, lips glued to the boy’s neck while sweet praises fell from Stiles’ lips. “You’re doing so good, baby” and Derek slid his mate’s hand between his legs, while trying to keep his mind off of things from his past. It was working, slowly but surely.

Ignoring his dick, Stiles’ fingers could touch Derek’s ass and the wolf stopped him there, looking into his eyes and letting himself be vulnerable around his mate. “You sure, baby?” Was all the boy said and the wolf nodded, kissing his neck again as to ask him to join.

Stiles gently bit his neck and shoulder, fingers tentative in exploring where Derek placed them while his free hand kept stroking his side. Once again, the boy noticed how a wolf could be hairless for no apparent reason and his curiosity was right in the air.

“It’s genetics and the omega…” It was a low whimper of breath coming out Derek’s lips and Stiles took his mouth in a gentle kiss to say ‘thank you’. His fingers just went lower between his buttcheeks, still dodging the actual task the wolf pleaded him to take on. But first he wanted Derek to relax and melt before going any further.

Lips on lips, stealing soft kisses that soon became heated and passionate, tongues sliding in mouths and fighting to get more from the other; Derek held Stiles’ head and never let him go any further, keeping him at kiss-reach, while the boy’s roaming hand traveled from the wolf’s side to his hip.

He held his boyfriend with a firm grip, almost not letting him shy away from him while Derek did something Stiles would’ve never expected him to do. Backing up between the boy’s legs, the wolf gave some friction to his mate’s erection; he was more than fine with ignoring it, but someone had another idea. “You’re such a tease, baby,” was all Stiles said back since his plan didn’t include anything like that.

It wasn’t something Derek was expecting to hear, but it didn’t make him uncomfortable anyhow and the cheesy smile on his lips let Stiles know just the same. “Look what you make me become,” Derek said and the hold around the boy’s head got looser enough but just for a slip second…

One of Derek’s hands went above Stiles’ scarred hip and the boy buckled up against his ass, almost in frantic, slow thrusts as he didn’t want to go too far. He was starting to get closer to his boyfriend’s entrance, his fingers slowly testing the wolf’s rim. He could sense the wolf’s cock harden just at that.

Derek’s back arched, feeling the tip of one of Stiles’ fingers being pushed slightly past the rim, just a bit less than a knuckle was in. Keeping hold of his head with one hand and his hip with the other; the wolf was already breathing frantically, but his mate was right by his side.

“It’s alright baby, relax for me, alright? Promise it’s gonna feel good in a bit” and his words, ever so slightly whispered in the shell of Derek’s ear, got Stiles a melting body in his embrace. He could feel the muscle clench around his finger as he carefully pushed it further in.

Much to both their surprises, Derek’s legs seemed to move on their own when they parted even more, the back of both knees resting on the edges of the tub, legs half out the water. There was no green or blue to be seen, eyes blissfully closed once more, just mouth agape as Stiles worked one finger to loosen up his boyfriend's hole.

It didn’t take long to slide one more finger in, “you’re taking it so well, baby. Do you like it?” Derek nodded as his body seemed to lure Stiles in, opening up beneath his mere touch alone. The boy noticed it, not worried about it as he figured it had to do with his mate’s blue eyes; so all he did was mouthing his neck, starting from delicate to passionate kisses and bites.

“You’re such a pretty sight like this and I have you all for myself” he also muttered between kisses, pouring praise over Derek’s body, which got him to relax even more as he heard his mate’s love for him. His mind was blank but “only for you” fell from his lips while Stiles gave him more…

When the third fingers finally slid in as well, Derek arched his back while his mate roughly licked his neck, a little dare the boy thought the other might like and he was right. The wolf moved his hand from the boy’s hip to his wrist, keeping his hand where it was between his legs.

And how could he not love it when his mate curled his fingers, hitting his sweet spot on the first try? A single, strangled moan left Derek’s mouth directly into the boy’s ear.

“Stiles…” The name was covered in a heavy layer of want and need, his eyes were blue and flashing as tail light, eyelashes batting while his focus switched between his mate’s eyes and lips. His reaction was similar to what Stiles expected it to be like.

His eyes were deep; in it he saw shock mixed with pleasure, fear diluted in ecstasy but he reassured him with lovely words. “You’re doing so well, baby. There’s nothing to fear, it’s just you and me.” Then, he caught his mate’s lips and showed him with a small peck how everything was fine.

Once Derek melted on top of him, he found and caged the boy’s mouth in a rough, passionate kiss; his hand pushed the nape of his mate’s head to ensure his lips wouldn’t go anywhere. When he finally got a few seconds of breath, Stiles spoke in between gasps. “Want some more, sweetheart?”

The new pet name and Stiles' flattering eyes made Derek’s hips move on their own, trying to suck in his mate’s fingers and the boy got the memo. “Gonna make you feel so good, baby, only you” and his fingers started moving, first slowly and carefully then with more intention.

He kept hitting the right spot and Derek kept moving his hips, which also resulted in his ass sliding up and down Stiles’ erection. It didn’t take long before water splashed out the tub onto the floor, while their moans filled the room and were being left out intentionally near each other’s ears.

Reaching the finish line, Stiles bit his mate’s shoulder while Derek clenched on his fingers and his vision went white, almost passing out in the boy’s arms. Then, the boy kissed the place he bit, moved his hand away and both his fingers massaged the wolf’s lower stomach; a calming motion that got the wolf to relax while coming down the high.

Derek found his mate’s lips and stole a chaste, honest kiss, his body melting upon Stiles’ own while he had eyes only for his boyfriend. Both the wolf’s hands went on top of the other’s and a few low, quiet words left his mouth while his head rested on the boy’s shoulder.

“It’s the first time it felt good.”

Stiles kissed his temple and held him tenderly as if he’d never want Derek to leave his side. “It can be good every time after this one” was all he said back while nipping his mate’s neck; soft kisses being planted there without any other purpose other than to relax the wolf.

They were both too sleepy by the time Stiles rose up from the water and wrapped a towel around his hips, signaling to Derek they weren’t going to spend the night in filthy water…

“Come on, baby. Your turn” and the boy offered him a helping hand which Derek took. Then, when he was out of the tub and a towel was being wrapped around his hips, he yawned and felt hands solid above his waist. ‘What is it?’ He thought without having the energy to speak.

Stiles just picked him up like it was nothing, like nothing happened a few moments earlier and he wasn’t tired just as much as Derek was. The wolf simply wrapped his arms around the boy’s neck and let him do what he wanted, bringing him to their nest.

He was so gentle when he placed Derek’s body on the sofa bed, to the point the wolf just curled into a ball while his eyes were searching for Stiles. “Get in here,” he urged him with a monotone voice, much the one of someone close to pass out to sleep fondly through the night.

But the boy was way too quick and he slid away in the bathroom, got a towel and dried his mate’s body and then his own. Derek felt Stiles’ touch to be so soft and caring, to the point he started purring profusely to get his mate to lay with him, which happened when the towel was long gone, probably on the floor.

“I’m here sweetheart, I hear you” said the boy as he took their blanket, laid down and placed it on top of them both while they faced each other. One last kiss before shutting their eyes, Derek hid in his mate’s chest, letting the shadows lure him to sleep.

Then night came and sleep caught them, Derek’s last thought was simple yet cruel. ‘How much would I’ve missed if you didn’t think I’d match your feelings?’

But he knew Stiles would be the light leading him home in the dark, through the shadows and the night so that nothing could do them apart. After all, they didn’t miss a chance to match each other’s breathing hearts, their love floating in sync in their veins.

So, night came and cradled them; both naked and exhausted, yet satisfied. Perhaps, Derek’s heat wasn’t going to be so bad.

Chapter Text

Morning came mixed with the sound of rain hitting the window behind them. Derek was the first to wake up because of it; the recent turn of events that was going on made his hearing way more sensitive to small noises. Eyelids began to open with more intent and his eyes scanned the room a little, empty as always if not for his mate sleeping beside him.

He didn’t need to move much to look around, it was enough to turn his head but he decided to sit anyway. Legs bent beneath him and arms crossed on top of the backrest behind him, head resting on them and torso against the sofa bed. The blanket from the previous night was doing a good enough job as he stared at it for a moment.

The blanket was big enough to serve its purpose even diagonally, following the way they were in their nest. It covered his legs and his mate from the waist down, making them less naked. His eyes were focused on Stiles by then, the fabric framing his body in a painter’s way of showing beauty.

Stiles was sleeping deeply, chest rising and going down with his lungs sucking in air, while Derek had eyes only for him and then for the storm as well. His eyes fell close for a tiny while since nothing was on his mind, sleep still heavy on him as he listened to his mate beginning to snore.

‘You sure find ways to make yourself at home, don’t you?’ Chimed his mind as a small laugh fell between them, eyes staring at Stiles' figure next to him. He was on his back, limbs sprawled on the bed without any regard for anything; one arm was still touching Derek while the other seemed to fall off the mattress.

The boy’s fingers were over the wolf’s thighs; he didn’t notice them at first, the feeling of Stiles’ touch was so welcomed that he didn’t register how he didn’t let him go while he moved to sit. It was a nice feeling, to be searched and wanted subconsciously by his mate. Derek’s vision was blurring with thoughts, admitting how life turned out to be pretty good even for him.

Then the sound of drops hitting the glass caught his attention, vision clearing as a particularly loud thunder had his ears perking up, head turned to see. It was simple yet always relaxing for the wolf to witness the storm, it reminded him of the time he could be free despite the fire and the chains, it reminded him of Stiles in the best case scenario…

Like needles trying to pitch through his skin, drops of rain hit the glass with a rumbling motive, a tune of some sad, lonely love song he couldn't point out. The water even seemed to run down the glass, charging for yet another fall despite the lack of energy to do so.

It evoked in Derek some memories of the endless fights he participated in, the mixture of sacrifice and resilience that was always in his heart; the thin line between the two was where he used to stand almost proudly on until Stiles pulled him to himself, out of both and into a warm embrace he’d later found out was called ‘love’.

And from the glass to his mate, his eyes didn’t know where to watch; both seemed to call out his name in the silence of his mind. But something caught his attention once again and it wasn’t the rain punching the glass, which for a second he thought it might be turning into hailing; it was a loud snore coming from the other.

One hand moved on its own to place a strand of hair away from Stiles’ forehead; he had wild hair in the morning, like someone ravished a hand in them. Another thunder came but closer to the window and Derek looked out almost protectively, his hand covering the boy’s forehead as the dark sky mixed with the light rain and the glowing thunder seemed threatening at times.

Stiles slowly began to wake up and Derek noticed a few fingers on his thighs grabbing his flesh, keeping him at arm's reach. The wolf looked at him, sappy eyes and a thin, thin smile he hid in the remaining arm crossed under his head; his other hand was caressing the other’s face, a nice ‘good morning’ gesture.

“Is there a storm outside?” Was the first thing the boy said and the other hummed, not saying much else but making sure not to move too much, he didn’t want to slip away from his mate’s hold. Stiles soon sat up as well regardless, following how Derek’s body was next to him.

Only one hand went below him as leverage to sit while the other caressed Derek’s thigh. Once he was set, Stiles began pulling the blanket along as he rubbed his eyes and stretched his covered legs, “well, good morning I guess. How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

Derek just hummed again, a tone of wellness was within it and it was enough for Stiles. The boy pulled him slightly closer, hand behind the other’s knee just because he could, and his mate followed right along. Legs then over Stiles’ lap and going off the bed, not really sitting on his lap but just resting his thighs on the other’s, the wolf wrapped his arms around the boy’s neck, one of his mate’s arms around his waist.

They stayed like that while Stiles was glad the window was thick and solid; both of them were watching the storm getting furious and thundering angrily outside. Well, it was more like Derek was amazed by the rain, relaxed by the sounds of it, while Stiles stared at his mate, more mesmerized by him only.

Stiles couldn’t really focus on the rain, how could he anyway? Derek was next to him, right by his side like nothing else mattered and he was the only one allowed to see him like that. ‘Look how much we seem to be out of character and yet we are just peeling off the surface we pull up for everyone else.’

And when the boy took the wolf’s chin between two fingers, stealing him from the rain and claiming his lips for a chaste kiss, green eyes were focused only on him, temporarily forgetting the storm; Stiles always had doe eyes if anyone ever asked Derek about it, but right that second the boy thought the same about the wolf.

“Seeing something you like more than the rain, baby?” It was a playful remark to the way green eyes never ceased to stare at Stiles’ lips; it made flattering lashes try to gather some composure but it didn’t work as expected. Derek just held his cheek, thumb going over the smooth skin under his touch while remaining silent.

After receiving no response from the other, the boy trailed his fingers up the other’s thigh and found harbor on his hip; his skin was warm compared to Stiles’ colder one, they were a nice fit for each other. There was no need for the boy to say anything, his touches spoke louder but someone was hungry…

“Where’s the need to be flirty first thing in the morning? What about breakfast?” Derek finally said, eyes playful as he hid his smile and Stiles cracked a laugh worthy of a prize for being so intune with the wolf’s heartbeat. “Fine, fine, breakfast will be on its way just for you” and it sounded almost too sweet. It awakened laughs at their sappy behavior.

Stiles pulled out a shirt from the nest, careful with his doing and went all the way to the kitchen and back, then served breakfast like any high school boyfriend would, at least the kind who actually cared and was in love. “Look who’s back” and plates were placed on their laps.

They were both seated nicely on the sofa bed; Derek used the blanket to cover himself a little while Stiles had undressed once again, stealing some cover from the wolf. And when he saw breakfast had beans in it, despite the surprise that came with it as it was, Derek thought well to share his motto from the previous night, remembering his last thought of the day, but changing it a little.

“We match each other’s hearts and beans” he said with caring, delighted eyes, and Stiles agreed yet said “it’d be ‘freaks and beans’ if you wanna keep the beans.”

But it was silly and stupid and lovely and theirs, so it was easy when they decided to stick with ‘hearts, freaks and beans’, “after all, we can’t really tell them apart, can we?” Confessed Stiles for them both while Derek thought about it.

‘Our freaks equal our scars, our hearts equal our love and the beans, well they are just beans but they can be so much more…’ And a whole new horizon opened in front of Derek’s eyes. Much was also because the storm was beginning to fade away; the rays of the sun were creeping through clouds.

It didn’t take much for the plates to go back downstairs and for Stiles to have Derek wrapped all around him, the blanked the only thing covering their nudity as neither of them minded being naked in front of the other, which didn’t fail to awaken a little thought in the boy’s mind.

‘I’d stare at you forever if you’d allow me to…’

Needless to say, it was soon caught by the other, who sent him a warm giggle in response; flattering eyes had their aim on the boy’s lips and irises. They ended up cuddling naked in the nest, soft stripes of sunlight came through and covered their bodies, rosy yet pale.

Nothing felt wrong or placed incorrectly, everything seemed to fit into whatever scheme of heart strings their love was pulling on them. Sunlight warming them, Derek felt the itchy touch of it, his skin not being so used to it as his face crunched, while Stiles had a better idea as his shoulder started to feel like they were burning.

“Guess neither of us is made for the hot summer days, eh?” His comment was enough and his hands worked cautiously to take two shirts out of the nest, along with two pairs of boxers. He felt a deep stare digging into the nape of his neck, but he did his best by adding the blanket back in its place.

They put on their clothes; Derek didn’t say anything, not even his eyes switched to their icy blue that felt slightly terrifying when Stiles thought of it as he felt a gaze upon his figure. He figured he had a loose privilege to mess around with the mountains of clothes, but just a very tiny bit…

Especially because the wolf seemingly looked curious and intrigued every time he touched the piles of clothes around them, but he always had a warm smile whenever Stiles was done with his doings. “All good?” He then asked and Derek nodded.

Once clothed Derek took a little advantage of the situation, sliding his hands slowly up Stiles’ arms until he had his neck between his fingers. Stiles let him be as he did the same and the wolf stole a quick, soft kiss from the other. Once the boy’s lips were free, he checked in with his boyfriend, “feeling okay?”

The boy was always concerned for the other’s well-being ever since he started sharing lovely kisses and gentle touches with him out of the blue. He wanted to be sure Derek wasn’t pushing himself anyhow, he wanted him to feel good whatever they were doing…

Derek hummed at his question and they went back to cuddling; it was becoming their most done activity during the wolf’s heat, but they’d never be bothered by it. The wolf always became a human blanket for Stiles, hugging his torso while he used his chest as a pillow.

Stiles always knew he would be a cuddler kind of boyfriend, he knew that by heart, and having someone like Derek seeking out his touch so much was something he had never imagined. So, when the wolf purred while his head rested on the boy’s upper half, the boy’s ears were ready to listen.

But something broke the silent comfort of their morning cuddles.

Their wrapped bodies didn’t last long. Not as much as they wished since the wolf's head rapidly looked up; it seemed he had heard something Stiles didn’t, so he just looked at Derek. He waited for him to say anything, to share something with him since he kept looking around like a mad hunting dog.

Derek looked behind the couch, almost climbing up the other’s body and Stiles did the same, turning his head to look. The sun illuminated some of the space for them, then the wolf huffed, relaxing slightly while the other giggled, staring at the rat behind the sofa bed that was currently snacking on something the boy didn’t quite want to figure out.

“We have a rat,” stated Stiles pointing at the creature, “and what do you want to do about it?” Asked Derek, his brows were firm on ‘I’m not doing shit to get it,’ which meant the boy had to pull up another plan of his for getting the animal out of the room to the very least.

A few seconds passed by before he was on his feet, moving in silence while Derek followed him with interested eyes, watching the show reserved only for him. Much to the boy’s surprise, while he was searching for something to help with the task ahead, he found his old bat in one dark corner of the attic. He shot a questioning look at the wolf, swinging the bat in the air once he held it in his hands.

Derek didn’t say anything, just shot back a ‘got it and kept it’ kind of look Stiles thought could be applied to himself as well; at the thought he flew a kiss in his mate’s way, all cheesy and sappy and worth being put on the big screen for a comical romance. A few laughs filled the room while the boy started walking towards the enemy, thinking of how he could take care of it. Derek tried to shut himself up as he watched everything.

Bat high above his shoulder, both hands on the handle and feathered steps made him seem fit to be part of the Argent family, “bet Chris’d be proud of me” jokingly said Stiles while searching for the rat. “Better being with the Hales, wouldn’t you say so?” Pointed out Derek, posing for him and achieving a smirk from his mate, who was trying to go back to his hunt.

Stiles had to fight to get some concentration back, especially because Derek kept distracting him, perhaps, without even meaning to, but he still had to say something about it; “you know, it’s annoying how much I wanna stare at you.”

The wolf bit back, “that’s on you” but “yet you’re the one posing over there” was Stiles’ remark as the top of the bat was low on the ground.

Derek had his knees bent beneath him, arms crossed on the top of the backrest of the sofa. Stiles didn’t notice if the neckline of the shirt was purposely pulled down, exposing his neck, or if it just happened to be. ‘Don’t try too hard or I’ll jump you,’ amber eyes sent the message and Derek didn’t let him wait.

The wolf just laughed slightly, replying to the sharp thought of his lover; “too bad, right? But the rat is still behind here” and one finger pointed behind the sofa with a teasing face and Stiles was finally back on his senses. The rat was still where they had found it, like it didn’t just hear everything and rather than packing up and running away right there and then, it was waiting there for someone.

They stared at each other, Derek switched eyes between one creature and the other. Stiles lowered the bat even more to use it as guidance for the rat, pushing it away, but the small animal had another idea. It cleaned its nose with its tiny hands and dark eyes looked around, then back at the boy.

The rat started running towards him, seemingly amused or perhaps curious about Stiles. “Oh shit!” He screamed while he tried not to trip over himself, letting the rat go away. The animal ended up finding a hole somewhere and hid in there, causing Stiles’ mission to be aborted. ‘It was surely shortly lived...’ Was the only comment about it.

“Well, at least we kinda got rid of it, right?” His words came through as he turned to look at Derek, who was very obviously choking down a hysterical laugh but failed when Stiles was still on one leg much like a flamingo, bat high almost reaching for the ceiling.

Ending up letting out all the air in his lungs, Derek laughed like never before and Stiles had a shocked expression with a playful smirk. The bat was soon hidden behind the sofa bed, “weapon of choice if necessary,” stated Stiles; he stood with hands on hips while he waited for his mate to stop muffling his laughs.

“Oh I see, you decided to be a hunter overnight? What about us?” Derek’s words were mixed with a cheesy smile, patting the spot next to him, asking for Stiles to be back by his side, but someone had another idea first. “Gimme a sec, gotta find my hunting gear” and he stormed out of the room.

Derek batted his eyes, almost feeling like in a comedy show but Stiles was way too quick when he got back. “Did you get some enchanted speed ability or what?” Asked the wolf while watching his mate hiding something behind his back; it seemed small.

“Just long legs” he chimed, wiggling one leg to the side and then looked at his lover, who had all the intention of mocking him for his fight with the rat. “Come here little hunter, someone needs you more than that little prey of yours,” his second attempt to lure him back in the nest worked.

Stiles walked to him, hands behind his back hiding what Derek thought could be a box, a small one. He laid down and they sat together, Stiles with crossed legs while the other still stayed on his bent knees, which moved just to look behind the sofa. The boy wondered how he could manage to do that without cutting off the blood flow.

Derek looked at him, gaze strong and questioning while he rested his head on the backrest, above his crossed arms. Stiles had the box in his hands, keeping it in the space between his legs; “I have something for you” he simply said while fidgeting with the dark box’s edges.

Nothing was said after that, Stiles simply handed him the box and before Derek opened it, he moved closer to his mate, who laid back on the sofa bed relaxing, one hand on the wolf’s thigh. Switching his eyes from the boy’s to the box that was then in his hands, Derek slowly opened it.

In it there was a piece of jewelry, nothing too fancy or chick. It was a gold necklace, one of those that hung low around the neck, those you could simply slide off your head by pulling them up without even opening the lock. It was a small chain, little hoops making the length of it.

In the middle it had a medallion, always gold, with something carved in it. Derek traced one finger over it while he silently stared at the gift from his mate; Stiles had eyes only for him as the sun made the scene glowing for him. The wolf had a soft smile and fading tears of joy, ‘I haven’t seen you cry in a while… I’m glad it’s joy and nothing else.’

He carefully took it out of the box, revealing the full length of it and placed it on the palm of his hand, looking at the medallion like it was hypnotizing. The words seemed to be hammered into the plaque, like Stiles was the one who had held a hammer and iron letters, doing the job himself.

Derek ran a finger over the letters, not really in a straight line and when he looked at Stiles, the gaze he received was enough confirmation that his mate had done the words just like he had thought. The sentence was simply, something he’d expect from the mixture of silly and lovely that Stiles was all about with him.

‘I love you to the moon and back,

for little red riding hood.

P.S. I won’t stop mocking you about it.’

Green eyes took their time as they found back amber ones. Derek gave him a playful smack on the arm remembering about the red hood moment they had and hiding his face in the palm of his free hand, but Stiles took his hand in one of his own, kissing the back of it.

Stiles smiled at him, hoping he was happy with his gift and that his little mocking was welcome. In confirmation of his liking for the necklace, Derek laid his head on his mate’s shoulder after he gave him a quick kiss with hundreds of unspoken words of gratitude. “It’s beautiful, Stiles,” was exactly said in that voice of his that reminded the boy of home.

“But I have nothing for you,” challenged Derek, never stopping smiling whenever his eyes fell back on the necklace which was reflecting the sunlight and creating spots on the ceiling, much like a disco ball. Stiles just kissed his hand again and held it close to his lower belly, somewhat protective of his mate’s presence; they seemed to be living on cloud nine.

His lips murmured the words on the wolf’s skin as he tangled their fingers together. “It’s okay” was simple and sweet, the smile he was wearing was enough of a reassurance for Derek to know it was actually fine. “So, what's the occasion for this?

The wolf’s question made Stiles’ cheeks turn a shy shade of rosy blush, a big smile on his lips made him look like he was just caught red handed for some crime. “Once this heat is over, we are gonna attend some big party so I can show off how beautiful my mate and boyfriend is,” his wide eyes reflected the light and Stiles’ amber irises seemed to glow.

Derek hid a soft grin of his own, feeling something warming up in his stomach at his mate wanting to show him off, even remotely so. The wolf felt Stiles tighten the grip around his hand and it came out naturally to joke around it a little bit, “so now I’m your little trophy boyfriend?”

Stiles’ mouth was mere millimeters away from Derek’s ear when he said “you can cover my neck and shoulders in love bites and hickeys. I bet they’d send the message the other way around just as well, baby.” A soft blush was on the other’s cheeks in response and he didn’t waste any time to poke the bear a bit more.

“You’re back with the flirty attitude, I see” noted the wolf while Stiles was promptly guiding him to come closer, almost no space between them. Derek ended up sitting on his lap, stealing a few kisses here and there from his mate, who gladly reciprocated. The boy’s hands went around the other’s waist, wasting no time.

Stiles pulled him closer, crashing his lips on the soft, bare skin on his lover’s neck. “Bet you don’t really mind my flirty ways, do you?” His question was filled with both care and concern, wanting to be sure his boyfriend was sharing his feelings with him. And Derek could only let out a small moan near the boy’s ears, “you tell me” was all he said before claiming his lips once more.

Kisses and hands traveled and went on through lunch and into the late hours of the evening, the sun slowly descending back to its home below the horizon. Stiles and Derek always took their time together whenever they had the chance to eat; somehow it was something both were looking forward to for their own reasons.

It was after dinner when Stiles noticed there was something going on and what gave it off was the unusual quiet that settled between them a few moments after the plates were gone. The boy was expecting to have some chit chat of sorts or some talking about the days ahead of them, but nothing made a sound.

As the boy was sitting Derek laid close by his side, his legs and arms were sprawled on the younger’s body, finding comfort in closure. All the while the wolf was unusually silent, which kept on poking at the other’s mind; Stiles kept caressing his side regardless, hoping something might come out his mouth first, but nothing was on its way to him.

The quiet mood soon brought to his attention a strange feeling tangling beneath his fingers: Derek seemed to be burning. He slid a careful finger under the wolf’s shirt and it made Derek tremble slightly, but it didn't last; the wolf was back to being calm under his boyfriend’s touch just a few moments later. His skin was still hot and sweaty though, which had Stiles filling with worry.

Stiles traveled up his side, careful in doing so until his fingers ended up around the other’s neck, where Derek held his hand the moment he felt his mate’s touch being there. His free hand roamed around the wolf’s body, from shoulder to hip; everything felt like a burning field.

Eyes searched all along his figure and Stiles could tell from a mile apart that his boyfriend seemed to have a raging fever. But his concerns were spotted fast; “it’s okay, it’s just the heat hitting up,” said Derek while holding Stiles’ waist, pulling him closer and closer, using his stomach as a pillow.

But Stiles was getting more worried despite the seemingly reassuring words of his mate. His forehead was covered in sweat, body tremor was on the first line of action while his skin was on fire. It disrupted their calm time and turned into one of those times where Stiles would go all over the place trying to help out.

‘You look so pale now, just let me try’ was the only thought that occupied his mind when he tried to get loose from his mate’s hold around him, trying to go and gather something to help Derek with his ‘fever’. It didn’t take him much to move his boyfriend’s arms and legs off of him and placing them to the side.

Stiles was amazed at how easily he found out Derek had become way weaker, more than the heat had already done so far to him. He didn’t even fight it from happening, just searched for his mate with a blind hand which soon aborted its mission once the boy reassured him.

“It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere too far. I gotta get one thing to help you a little,” words were soft as Stiles whispered them on top of his ear. Derek opened his eyes, a small crack in his eyelids granted him enough vision to see his mate beginning to move.

It didn’t take much of an effort to get up from their nest after that and place a gentle soothing kiss on Derek’s temple, just because a bit more reassurance was never wasted. Stiles was about to run to the bathroom when he looked at his wolf, eyes closed, almost napping on the bed.

He stared for a moment, not really being able to pull away his eyes from Derek, like they were glued on him. He noticed his movements, trying to curl himself into a ball, ‘you might be cold, your human campfire is not so close anymore.’

A nice bed sheet, soft and thin, was the best he found in the nest to cover up his mate’s body; ‘hopefully, this’ll help a bit’ and he placed it nicely on his mate. He then sprinted off to the bathroom and a wet cloth was soon in his hands, cold and dripping on the floor, but it wasn’t a concern of his.

He was back by Derek’s side in a matter of seconds, his figure shaking underneath the soft, almost transparent veil that Stiles had found and used to cover him; kneeling by his side on the bed, the cloth found its place on Derek’s forehead and Stiles was soon back by his side, sitting nicely close to his mate.

The wolf caught him, searching for his warmth and tangling his limbs around his body while his head was looking up, Stiles’ stomach back to being his pillow; “you didn’t need to do this” quietly murmured Derek as he found the other’s eyes. The boy patted his forehead with the wet cloth on his forehead, “you just rest while I take care of you.”

Derek didn’t fight him on that, too weak and trembling to deny it felt good to be taken care of by his mate. ‘Look at you,’ Stiles thought as a smile appeared on his face, ‘peacefully napping on my stomach while I tend to you.’

Soon enough, night was above their head and Derek was fast asleep before Stiles, who caught up but after he had laid on the bed nicely, covering them both with the bed sheet. He kept his mate in his arms while body tremors never really left his lover’s limbs.

Once the moon was high above their head, Stiles never stopped thinking about how fragile Derek seemed to be; the trembling was getting worse each time it woke him up after he was able to fall asleep once again. The wolf never noticed, not once the tremors woke him up.

Stiles eyed his boyfriend one last time before sleep finally claimed him without a second thought. Derek’s forehead was still covered with the wet cloth, by then warmer. His body was shaking and hands were holding tight on his mate, clinging to his shirt and hiding his face into Stiles’ neck.

It was going alright after that, the night was calm and they were both asleep. Stiles held him fiercely while Derek sought him in his sleep.

Until something changed in the middle of the night.

Chapter Text

Both of them were sleeping, the moon high outside the window looking upon them in some kind of imaginary from some holy scripts. The light shining through cast a dim glow on their bodies; it was a silent night.

Derek was peacefully enjoying his sleep when his eyes began to open.

He held the necklace the other helped him with between his fingers, somehow finding it grounding and the quickest way to wake up. He knew he wasn’t going back to sleep any time soon.

Stiles’ snoring was the first thing that caught his ears, the sound being the first thing to hit him as reality was setting in his senses.

His mate was right by his side, holding his free hand and never letting him go. He wondered when did that happen throughout the night…

After some minutes looking around without moving, he thought that Stiles’ snores were the reason he woke up, but something else soon came to his senses. Something he never really knew he’d truly fear…

His skin was sweaty, he felt lightheaded and the feeling in his stomach was back once again. He placed a hand on it to soothe himself but it didn’t really work; he thought he’d never get used to it. That he’d never get a hold of it.

With some type of caution that made him feel uneasy, he used his other arm as leverage to look around. Stiles was still deep asleep by his side, not holding the wolf’s hand anymore as he moved around. His grunts caught his eyes and Derek took in a deep breath, savoring his scent.

The fear began to expand but having Stiles so close was enough to make it less threatening. Derek knew Stiles was different, he knew he’d be fine with him. At least his heart told him so as he brought his mind back to the present moment.

Eyes went around the nest, seemingly inspecting it like someone might come in and judge it for some reason. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him to get Stiles closer to him, to wake him up and do something.

But before doing anything, he questioned himself; always unable to stop himself from letting his mind run.

‘Is it really it?’ and there wasn’t much to discuss when the only thing his mind could think about was Stiles and Stiles and more Stiles. And the fear. And the ache.

So, looking shily over his mate, as if Stiles could somehow see him despite the fact he was deep asleep, Derek moved closer to him. Shaking his shoulder slightly, the wolf hoped the boy would wake up.

And he did. Stiles’ eyes were slowly being pulled open, eyelashes batting and eyes looking, not knowing what was going on. Head turning left to right, nothing seemed to catch his attention.

Until he finally found something to anchor his vision on; he found Derek staring at him after his amber eyes descended from the ceiling, which apparently was interesting as he stared at it for a good second.

Stiles could tell the distress in his figure as the dim light of the moon cast a pastel glow on his face. Thin brows were scrunched in a mix of confusion and caution.

Derek just muttered with a thin intake of air, barely enough Stiles thought he had imagined it. “It started.” And it didn’t take much after that. Stiles guided him to come closer while he sat with his back on the backrest of the sofa. Derek scooped over, his legs tangled with his mate’s while he felt a firm hand finding its place on the small of his back.

Their clothes were still between them, shirts and boxers, but Derek was half glad for them as he knew his body would jolt with every single one of Stiles’ touches like he had electricity in his fingertips. Especially when just his necklace was tickling his skin.

Head on the other’s chest, much like a pillow, Derek didn’t say anything else while his eyes searched frantically for a sign from Stiles, something that would tell him what he needed to know. Something that would wipe away the crippling fear that was forming in his chest.

Besides, much more than a sign, Stiles did something else that let the wolf know things were going to be just fine. But it would still take something more…

Derek felt the hand on his back moving around his body, fingers reaching his stomach and making slow circles on the warm skin. He was glad the other knew and tired as he did something else as well. The boy pulled him closer, fingers picking up Derek’s chin in a soft yet imposing manner until lips were mere millimeters apart. Stiles searched for the other’s approval, his breath hitting the other’s lips while the wolf was beginning to shake.

Derek made the first move, much like Stiles wanted him to, and their lips touched for a slip second. His chest felt tight, mind half there and half gone, the ‘fog’ was catching up on him.

Yet, they were both waiting for the wolf to give the ‘go ahead’ and something within them murmured to them that they knew. That the other could tell it right away, but can something be really going on without any reassurance?

Stiles moved his fingers to caress his cheek while one of Derek’s hands found a nice spot holding the other’s waist, fingertips still massaging his skin. The boy then made another move, giving his mate a more pressing kiss.

It made something in Derek snap in half; the fog clouded the logical part of his brain but he wasn’t too gone in it.

Derek’s lips went more confidently for the next round, melting by Stiles’ side as he felt his whole body getting lost in the feeling. His mate moved his soft hand from his waist to his hip, holding the skin there.

His stomach was playing along, it seemed so at least. But raging thoughts were hard to bypass when they could make their way past the haze of his heat. His body was trembling but he kept trying to stay as still as possible while appearing relaxed.

Derek swore he could do it, swore Stiles wouldn’t notice how hesitant he was about going all the way. But the wolf didn’t take into account how much the boy actually loved him and how much his eyes could see, how much his heart could detect.

Stiles could tell from the anxious way his body was displaying that the wolf had something going on. ‘Insecurity and fear’ was in his mind as it was all he could read on the other’s features.

He kissed his cheek where his hand was, moving it to hold his neck with warm touches. “You and me. You’re safe here” and the boy patted the mattress, hand leaving and coming back to his hip.

Derek took a deep breath, close to Stiles’ face to the point their noses were touching. The wolf was getting more agitated; he searched for some comfort in his mate’s touch and the boy gave it to him.

“Let me love you, Derek.” Stiles’ words were almost lost in the soft whimpers that were then coming out the other’s mouth. He seemed in pain, his body trembling more by then, as if something more was needed to help him calm down.

Green eyes then saw nothing, his eyelids fell close and he tried to breathe in more of Stiles. He didn’t need to say anything, his mate was about to do exactly what he needed and he could tell it by his calming scent. He was always so in tune with his needs.

Thin, strong arms went around him and Derek let out everything he had been feeling since he woke up in a long, frustrated sigh while he drowned in Stiles’ hands moving around him; both, gentle and timid, caressed his back until he relaxed under the other’s work. He was massaging his shoulders, undoing knots of muscles that hid under thick skin.

Soon enough his eyes were back to being open and Stiles occupied his full field of view. Derek wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Irises then switched from his mate’s eyes to his lips and the boy gave him a soft kiss, which the wolf made five times more intense and the boy was all on board with that chance of wind. Derek started slowly, taking those lips and sucking them while the boy did the same; they were dancing in turn and the wolf wanted his mate to take the reins. He wanted Stiles to know he could.

His body went limp in Stiles’ hold while the boy shot a look back at his mate, who met him with a soft moan and a submissive look in pleading eyes. But then some words also found their place between them.

“Stiles, please…”

Derek placed a chaste kiss on his mate’s lips, body shaking as he felt cold and was searching for some warmth.

The wolf gently placed his body onto Stiles’, half on top of him and asking to feel something real, to have his hands and lips on his skin. To feel some love.

And Stiles obliged.

The boy kissed him more, quickly as his mate demanded more from him and then their tongues met. He took on the leading role and he quickly figured out what Derek wanted.

It didn’t take long before the wolf let everything go. Every claim, every expectation, every scary reminder from his past. But he didn’t know if it was going to last, yet Stiles was there with him; he knew Stiles had him. Therefore, he was also aware that the boy would ask him before changing anything they were doing. That his mate would be his anchor throughout all of it.

Both his legs were around one of Stiles and he grinded against it, causing a soft moan to slip out shaky lips. “Stiles…” It intoxicated the boy enough to the point his pupils dilated, black swallowing the color of amber eyes.

“That’s it, take what you need” praised Stiles, pulling one of Derek’s thighs closer, thrusting back against him. Another moan filled the room and the boy decided he didn’t want to hear anything else for a while.

Stiles could feel his mate’s tension between strong thighs and left open mouthed kisses all over his neck and collarbone, pulling him up his body with half his strength. He always wondered how strong he was if he could actually move Derek around so easily, or maybe it was just the heat ruling in his favor…

His lover called out for him again, “Stiles…” And somehow he had the translation sheets of each of Derek’s breathy words. A full vocabulary of his mate’s heart.

“Let’s change position, alright baby?” Stiles’ said the words looking in the other’s eyes; Derek shivered, both arms going around his mate’s neck and crashing his body into the boy’s.

Snuggling their noses together, Derek recomposed himself enough to know Stiles wasn’t going to move a finger unless he gave him an answer. ‘What a caring guy I found…’

Amber eyes never stopped staring into green once; a low “yes” left his lips and Stiles was already moving them around. He was waiting only for Derek, for him to be on board.

Stiles rolled them over, his slim figure on top of Derek’s bigger one, caressing his thighs as the wolf kept his arms around the boy’s neck and added his legs to the tango, caging the other’s hips between them.

The ache was mild but annoying, demanding something out of him while the fog was attacking his brain from all fronts. Yet Stiles was the solution to both.

Lips met once more, vigorously and passionately just like Derek needed and Stiles offered. The wolf took everything he could from the soft lips of his lover, pulling him closer and closer to himself.

Hovering above him a little less, falling closer to his mate’s body, Stiles kissed his neck and left a soft bite there; Derek’s lips were near his ear and warm air hit his earshell, words were being breathed out only for him to hear.

“I want you to make me yours” started saying Derek; it didn’t shock Stiles as much as the rest of the sentence. “I want you to do things to me.”

He was somewhat used to Derek’s claiming ways and he shared the same feeling of ownership towards him, being possessive of each other grounded them both; it was a tangible and extroverted way to make their love known. Although, Derek being so openly… Flirty, was new to Stiles. It awoke some worries in him.

He stopped his lips and looked over at him, searching for some explanation in Derek’s eyes; the wolf let him in on a little detail he had left out all along. “I’m sorry I didn’t say this sooner…”

But Stiles gave him a reassuring kiss, pulling at his lower lip while taking it between his teeth. “No apologies needed, I don’t blame you for being scared of this.”

So, a quick explanation floated in the air, “it’s like a fog blurring my thoughts, but with you it’s less annoying” and both Derek’s hands cupped his face as he softly kissed Stiles’ lips. Both his legs squeezed the boy’s hips.

He went on a bit more, “you’re my anchor and my mate. Thanks to you I’m more present throughout this and not like I'm in some sort of coma.” Stiles didn’t need to be told twice and he quickly got the meaning of it all; his presence grounded Derek enough that not even his heat could turn off his mind completely, not even something biologically meant to happen could take away from him his autonomy if he was there with him.

Stiles was also aware of the left out part of ‘like I should be’ that would’ve come with the coma…

Green eyes were all over the boy when he started moving, hiding his face in the other’s neck. The wolf felt lips finding their home on his skin and a few whimpering sounds made their way out, then something else turned around; it was Derek’s turn to hear something far off his imagination. He never thought Stiles would start giggling like a kid in his neck, but there’s a first time for everything, right?

…No matter how unpredictable, right?

“Sweet, sweet, sweet…” Stiles chanted, hips bouncing a bit to the left and a bit to the right. Derek hid his face in one hand, yet still holding onto his mate, “sweet and pretty. Pretty, pretty” and Derek chimed back, “you seem more lost in this than me.”

Hands never stopped caressing the wolf’s thigh unless Stiles moved them somewhere else for a brief moment, then they were back in their place. Derek took notice with a bloody claw scratching the deepest part of his heart…

But Stiles’ words did their trick, whatever the boy might’ve intended it to be.

Derek calmed down, the fog becoming manageable in his mind. He knew Stiles had seen it in his eyes, he knew he could tell after he knew what he was looking at. But his mate made him better, more content and satisfied.

The younger smiled and was glad his little shower of ‘sweet’ and ‘pretty’ made the other more at ease, more calm. They laughed and kissed, first jokingly, then stealing lips and biting cheeks; the boy also placed one hand on the other’s stomach, carefully pinning it down to the mattress and it gave Derek some relief. Stiles was glad to have been given the lens to read his partner.

Then things got heated once again, almost rightfully so; tongues were back in each other’s mouths and fingers were dangerously, cautiously trying to slide under each other’s clothes, trying to get rid of their shirts.

Stiles made the first move, “what about we take these off?” He toyed with the hem of Derek’s shirt, feeling it between his fingers with a soft grin on his lips. The wolf nodded, adding a muffled “yes” only when Stiles ran his nose up his neck, letting out a heavy breath, carrying his message: ‘Talk to me.’

And as if Stiles couldn’t help it, more praises fell from his lips; Derek surely didn’t mind that, his stomach was feeling much better already, yet the ache was still there, barely noticeable.

“Aren’t you being so good for me?” Stiles’ eyes had never been more filled with love and lust. ‘The good type of lust,’ Derek reminded himself and could only feel how his eyes were the same. Fingers slipped under each of their shirts, taking them off and throwing them away, not bothering where they might end up being. The boy made sure to do it slowly but without missing the chance to place a few kisses on the other’s collarbone.

Derek’s fingers were able to reach one of Stiles’ hips, where the scarred skin was, red and pulsing as he was getting worked up by the situation: he caressed his flesh and covered them with his hand, as if protecting and demanding them as his own.

‘I’m the only one who can see them.’

Reading the possessiveness in his wolf’s body, Stiles traced a soft fingertip near the other’s eyes, wiping away tears that weren’t even there. The boy got back his attention with that simple gesture.

Stiles toyed with his lover’s necklace, feeling the medallion between his fingers. Behind his eyes, flashed the long, almost two years of their relationship. ‘I’m so fucking lucky to have you all for myself.’ And green eyes were back to being focused.

It gained them both some more clarity, more to the wolf who needed it in all honesty, while Stiles still went to place a kiss in the corners of his eyes. It brought them back to the matter at hand. The wolf and the boy were then half naked, only their boxers kept being in the way; Stiles glanced at both, eyes asking and Derek nodded, almost timidly.

In a heartbeat they were fully naked, boxers gone and only their skin was left as coverage. Derek shivered slightly, his skin too hot and sensitive that it made him aware of way too many things and sensations. Stiles noticed and lowered himself on his boyfriend, holding him and caressing him, one hand firm on his thigh; the other was back on his bare stomach, while the boy slowly made his way further down his body with his lips, leaving yet again another tray of kisses.

Passing his collarbone and his chest, down his stomach where one hand was, he went further down. His mate kissed his inner thigh with care, one hand caressing the other; lips sucking lightly at his skin leaning a red spot Stiles then licked.

‘Oh Lord, what will he do to me?’ Derek’s head rolled back, one hand holding the one on his stomach while the other searched for his mate; his body was relaxing under Stiles, who didn’t miss his chance as his eyes scanned his sculpted figure from such a low angle.

Stiles had studied the Greeks and their statues, he knew the stories and saw the artifacts left behind by time. But as his eyes were so low, he swore the ancient missed out on the most gorgeous muse they could have had.

Head back, chest up as his hips were solidly down on the mattress, under Stiles’ meticulous fingers; he seemed to be covered in a thin veil of sweat, reflecting the light from the mood, highlighting every curve and shape of his body.

Muscles flexed and relaxed, fingers soft then firm on his lover’s stomach, reaching down till his palm was on the lower part of it, comforting and owning. Nothing ever looked as beautiful to his eyes, not even Lydia back in the days where his heart called for her.

“So beautiful and only for me to see” praised the boy; he took his hand away and used it as leverage, the other stroking the other’s thigh. Derek had to suffocate a moan at that or Stiles would have made him reach the edge in seconds.

By the time Derek took a deep breath, Stiles was back on top of him and they were very aware of each other’s bodies, especially some parts that were beginning to harden.

However, Stiles paid it no mind, which visibly eased some shame that was beginning to find its way in Derek’s mind.

The boy ran his fingers up and down his mate’s torso, moving away from his stomach. Fingertips soft and then pressing on the skin; kisses find their way there as well along with small love bites.

Stiles impressed in his mind the way Derek’s body was flexing and moving beneath him, muscles sculpting their sharp line and then being erased once he relaxed, skin smooth and soft, warm to the touch. Sweaty just like he was.

And as Stiles covered his collarbone with his lips, tasting his skin like the most delicious dessert he’d ever had, pushing the necklace away to have more skin to cover. Derek slowly kissed his shoulders, hands exploring his firm back and shoulder blades.

Fingers scratched Stiles' back following the line of his spine while Derek’s lips went for a more passionate approach; it didn’t take long, in fact, before he was sucking hickeys and leaving love bites on his mate’s skin.

Stiles let him grow fond of their closure, knowing Derek needed it to anchor himself before taking another step for their night. He caught his attention in the only way he knew.

“Baby,” he called out and ran his nose up the wolf’s neck, not leaving a single kiss there. Derek looked up at him after he caught a glimpse of the messy artwork of love bites and red spots he made on Stiles’ shoulders.

One hand went to cup Derek’s face and the boy then asked, “ready for something more?”

In Stiles’ eyes, Derek could read a hundred promises, praises and reassuring words.

“Yeah,” he breathed out slowly, eyes locked in his mate’s amber ones; Stiles hovered above Derek’s body and the wolf held onto him, arms going around marked shoulders.

Derek took in a deep breath when he felt Stiles so close to him, leaving kisses under one ear and pinning one of his hips down. He was ready when his mate’s fingers were firm on his hip and his other hand was next to his side, keeping him up.

Stiles gave a slow thrust forward and their cocks grinded together.

Derek let out a moan along with his nails scratching the other’s back and legs squeezing the boy’s hips, which told Stiles everything he needed to know. “Feeling good, baby?”

The only response he got was an even louder moan when he went for another thrust and Derek’s legs fell limb on the mattress, enjoying Stiles’ ministrations. The boy could tell that was the first sign that the wolf was going to handle it pretty well if they worked together.

Stiles only had to give a few more thrust before the room was filled with Derek’s moans and whimpers, legs shaking against his hips and lips quivering out his name on his shoulder as he hid his face there.

The necklace made no sound as it got stuck on his skin. Derek knew it wasn’t going to budge and so he paid it no mind, just like Stiles did and they left it there, to hang between them.

“You’re handling this so well, baby” started praising Stiles, grinding their cocks together. Never once he let go of Derek's hip; he knew it was the little grounding action the wolf needed.

It didn’t take long before Derek was a shivering mess under Stiles, hips bucking up to match his rhythm without even noticing it, moans being yelled in the boy’s ears. Stiles lowered himself on the other, chest on chest, so that he didn’t need to use one arm as leverage; he slid it beneath the other’s back, slowly tugging at his lower back to go upwards and the wolf followed the movement.

That was enough to enchant the angle of Stiles’ thrust to the point that the boy gave a more solid movement upon the other’s pelvic and Derek moaned out, calling out his name.

“Stiles…” His mate didn’t disappoint and gave another thrust, this time pressing his hand on the small of his back, grinding against him; he was starting to suspect Derek was way more sensitive than any previous night.

However, his thoughts were siped away when his movements got Stiles another moan, louder and suffocated; legs squeezing around his waist, clinging closer to him.

“Stiles…”

Derek’s head was limp in the crock of his mate’s neck, legs shaking from the stimulation and hands gripping at his back, trying to stay close to his mate; the boy held his back up, arching it to the point the wolf’s shoulder blades were merely touching the mattress under him. “So good for me,” praised and chimed Stiles with another thrust.

“Darling!” Shouted Derek, holding onto Stiles with all the strength he had. His hips moved on their own when they kept on matching the boy’s.

The name got Stiles worked up that he responded just in tune; holding his mate impossibly close, biting at his neck and breathing in his ear.

“Cum for me, baby.”

He didn’t know where it came from, what made it so easy for him to say those things; but he didn’t have time to think too much about it as his request was being fulfilled in front of his eyes.

Derek reached the edge as Stiles’ words hit his ears, shooting a white stream of cum between their stomachs, gathering in a small pool on the wolf's abdomen; the boy was still hard but he knew he was close to the finish line as well.

And Derek could smell it.

The wolf bucked his hips up against his mate, giving him some friction despite the overstimulation. Stiles was quick to praise him, how could he not?

“So nice for me.” He let Derek move his hips as he wanted, eyes locked in the pleasured expression on his face; he couldn’t take his eyes away from it, Stiles wanted to see it all.

Derek said something else on his own, it was nice to be showered in praises and it got to his brain. It felt good to say it out loud, it felt good for both of them.

“Nice only for you.” Derek remarked and Stiles held his waist with both hands, searching for his own relief which didn’t take long to come.

In the mess of cum on Derek’s stomach, there was also Stiles’ cum as he grunted and moaned near the wolf’s ears. “So good for your mate, aren’t you?” Praised the boy as he caressed his mate’s skin.

“Only for you” moaned back Derek as a frantic move of his hips slipped from his control and overstimulated him once more, legs shaking and skin covered in sweat. He was breathing heavily in Stiles’ ear, keeping him close as his arms kept him from collapsing on his back. ‘So good for you, so good for me’ occupied the wolf’s mind as he wanted more.

He couldn’t help it but wanted more from his mate; he wanted everything that night, not because of the heat, but because he was ready for Stiles, who was still regaining his breath when he felt hands petting his head and lips kissing his temple; his eyes soon found Derek’s and he panted near his mouth until the boy caught his lips in a firm kiss.

Words soon came out Derek’s mouth as he stole some time from their kiss, “I want your fingers in me.” Stiles knew by then it was going to be a long night.

Probably a loud and noisy one too, but he was ready to remember every second of it.

Yet, a solid and cheesy smile appeared on his lips, “let’s change position then, shall we, pretty boy?” Asked Stiles in such a polite way that the wolf chuckled and nodded at him. “Sure,” he only said.

‘Pretty ‘boy’? I’m pretty sure I’m still a couple years older than you,’ Derek debated in his mind, but it all disappeared when he sensed his mate’s arms moving around. He decided it wasn’t too bad anyway, he had let Stiles call him ‘baby’ all along anyway…

Stiles held his mate’s waist and moved them both until Derek was sitting in his lap, back to the window, legs parted, knees bent by each side of the boy’s also bent legs, and arms around his neck; the boy had to look slightly up to meet his mate’s eyes.

However, Stiles still asked a little question just because an idea had popped into his mind a few moments earlier.

“You are more sensitive to everything I do, aren’t you?” He quietly said while caressing the other’s back, slowly making his way down his spine, his fingertips dangling upon each bundle of muscles.

Derek nodded, grinding against Stiles as to show him how his body was back to a quivering mess in mere seconds and his eyes grew wider; Stiles was quick to let out something and remark on the situation a little.

“Shouldn’t we fool around with it a little bit?”

Stiles’ offer was met with a curious nod from Derek, who knew his mate had something in his mind, but he didn’t find it unsettling; it made him feel wanted and appreciated.

By the time their little negotiation was over, Stiles’ fingers were spreading Derek’s asscheeks and a gentle finger was reaching for his entrance; the wolf didn’t wait and started kissing Stiles with vigor.

The night was sure going to be long and they both knew it by then…

The boy was getting more confident in exploring his partner’s body as a fingertip toyed with the rim of muscle that seemed to open as he pushed against it. His other hand pressed on the wolf’s lower back and his lips were caged with Derek’s; his partner held him close.

Chest on chest, each breath of air crushed their bodies together and Stiles put his little plan in action.

His lips left Derek’s and the wolf wondered for a moment, but soon stopped as he felt a finger sliding into his hole and his mate’s tongue playing with one of his nipples.

‘That’s what you had in mind, eh?’

Derek kept his head low, panting against Stiles’ shoulder; he met his mate’s gaze when he looked up from where he was sucking on his chest, his eyes buzzing icy blue.

“Here’s my blue eyed lover,” sang the boy upon the other’s nipple; it made Derek shiver as the cold air hit his skin covered in Stiles’ warm saliva. He went back to savoring his skin while he worked a finger into his mate’s hole, making him shiver with anticipation; somehow the boy could read it in his icy irises, never looking away from his amber ones.

He could also feel Derek opening up at his touch; from one finger it became two and he slowly started working them in and out of his hole, the wolf moaning in his lap how much he liked it. Derek couldn’t help it but clench around those fingers when they hit his prostate and it made him moan louder, almost screaming in Stiles’ ears.

“Please!”

His mate knew what he was asking.

Another digit found its way into his hole and Derek threw his head back; Stiles caught it and made sure the wolf rested it on his shoulder. “I got you baby,” he murmured into his ear as he caught a glimpse of those icy irises he wanted to see all night long.

Pumping his fingers in and out, Derek was getting lost in those exquisite sensations once again that his hips started riding his mate’s fingers; moving up and down in Stiles’ lap, moaning and clinging on the other’s neck.

The hand on his lower back never left, pressing his body against Stiles’ and pinning him there with him. His stomach never once crossed his mind as the ache seemed to have disappeared.

He kept riding his fingers until a forth one made its way in and he knew he was getting close to the big event of the night. But Stiles stretched him open so well and with care he couldn’t be scared of anything.

A few more moments passed by, Derek’s arousal blossoming to its fullest as Stiles kept hitting his prostate with his slim, long fingers until his legs gave out, shaking frantically with every electric touch from his mate.

It didn’t take long before Stiles twisted his fingers and bit down on the other’s shoulder, barely above his collarbone, earning a sweet, long and choked out moan from Derek.

“Stiles… mine” slipped from the wolf’s lips as Stiles made him cum on his fingers alone, sucking his nipples one at the time and listening to the sweet noises his mate was making only for him.

Because of him.

“All yours” promised Stiles, taking Derek’s lips in a passionate kiss that left their lips covered in saliva. The wolf was breathing heavily, panting on his mate’s lap; he could feel the heat building up in his stomach and surging between his legs.

Derek noticed Stiles didn’t get off like he did and before he could do anything about it the boy beat him in time. “It’s okay, I don’t wanna dare to come another time. I don’t have infinite stamina like you do, pretty boy.”

He hid those blue eyes in Stiles’ neck and bit down on his shoulder playfully, then he heard his mate speak again. “Ready?” And he knew he meant to ask if he was ready for yet another change.

He didn’t answer. Derek just nodded slowly and calmly, laying all the way back till his back was once again on the mattress, his legs still by Stiles’ sides, pulling at him to come closer.

Stiles smiled at him as he saw a big grin displayed on the other’s face and laid down with him, kissing him gently to relax him even more; to make sure his mind wouldn’t wander anywhere else. Derek wrapped his arms loosely around his shoulders, legs barely bent but wide open, giving the boy all the access for what was about to come.

But first, safety.

“Do you have any condoms around?”

Stiles’ question was unexpected, but Derek recovered quickly and told his mate exactly what it was going to be like. Or at least, how he’d like it.

“No need, werewolf health, you know?” Simply explained and Stiles grinned, face biting at his neck and held both the wolf’s hips in his hands, pinning him down hard to the mattress; Derek liked it more than he’d like to admit. Also, the wolf took his chance to be a bit more flirty, “please,” he started to say in a tiny whisper in Stiles’ earshell; the boy looked up at him from where he was prepping skin with kisses.

“I want to feel you inside of me, please.”

Eyes grew impossibly wide, only black was left in Stiles’ eyes and Derek knew he hit the jackpot with that one move. He was starting to enjoy playing around with him, getting him more excited.

“Look how much you’ve changed from that cold heart facade you had going on,” smirked Stiles, slowly kissing his lover’s lips. Derek didn’t say anything at that, just kissed him back; he knew only the boy would ever see him like that and only around him he’d feel so comfortable to feel good throughout anything.

The feeling in his stomach was coming back, but Stiles had taken notice of it before and was kissing his way down, putting extra effort into smoothing away the ache with his lips and fingers. Slowly, the boy sat between Derek’s legs and looked up at him; the wolf searched for his hand and the other found it and held it, leaving the other to rest on his stomach.

Derek nodded at him, a low “I want this” gave Stiles the go ahead to align himself with Derek’s entrance and one more look earned him a sure nod.

“Slow and nice, alright?” Reassured Stiles, pushing in the tip of his cock and taking note of every single one of Derek’s reactions, even the small moan that left his lips and how his fingers tangled with his own on his stomach.

Taking his time, Stiles slowly started to push in, caressing Derek’s inner thigh with one hand and holding his mate’s hand with the other.

He was able to push in only half of it when Derek started shaking. Stiles leaned over to meet his eyes, voice soft and full of worry, he asked “how is it, baby?” While he felt arms going around his shoulders, holding firmly there.

Breathing erratically, Derek let out a low “it’s just… Strange” and Stiles caressed his sides, “want me to pull out?” He asked, needing to know if Derek was sure about going on with it; his body shook less with him being so close to him.

“No, don’t” was almost bitten in his neck as small canine teeth sank in his flesh and blue eyes sent the message clear and loud. He just needed a second and Stiles gave him just that, and a lot of reassuring words too.

Stiles’ fingers ran up and down the wolf’s sides then, slowly and steady to make sure he’d still feel safe and sound with him. “You’re doing so good, Derek, just breathe” instructed Stiles and his mate did.

A long intake of air later, Derek was beginning to relax once more, eyes pleading, searching for Stiles’ affection; which didn’t wait to arrive.

“That’s it, relax with me baby, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Stiles' words were softly spoken near Derek’s ear. The boy could feel them doing their trick as the arms around him were beginning to relax.

He wouldn't stop until he’d get even the last timid shake out of his lover’s body.

“Do it with me” had told him Stiles and the wolf was trying to follow his breathing path. Soft, soothing caresses kept him anchored there as Derek tried to breathe as regularly as possible.

His stomach was hurting and he felt his hole being stretched impossibly open, he miscalculated how big Stiles actually was. But he knew four fingers would’ve been enough, ‘so why?’

It didn’t take him long to figure out the reason.

Some memory was playing in the back of his mind, trying to steal him from the moment and once he realized what they were about, he clinged to Stiles like his life depended on it.

The boy noticed, saw the look of fear beginning to breach through those blue eyes and comforted him.

That soft voice was back to murmuring into Derek’s ear sweet nothing that actually meant a lot to him. “You and me, remember? Mates.”

It almost fell on deaf ears, though. As Derek was shaking in his arms, he tried to pull out but his boyfriend’s werewolf strength wasn’t on his side; so he tried to sooth him as best he could.

“Baby…”

He called out, softly while caressing his face with one hand, the other firm on his waist, trying to calm his shaking body.

“I’m here with you, I’m Stiles.”

Derek’s eyes slowly locked into the boy’s, fear and anguish was in those gorgeous blue eyes Stiles wanted to protect; he felt helpless staring at them, but he tried.

“No one's gonna hurt you, you’re safe here,” gentle ghost hands held the wolf’s face. Derek was shaking but it was starting to ease out. Stiles was making his way through the fear.

“Mate, my mate, come back to me.”

Derek took a deep breath that was cut into short intakes of air. Fear was washing away from his eyes, memories going back from where they came from. He didn’t expect it to happen, he felt so safe and loved with Stiles, ‘so, why?’

His mind was thinking through it, how it could’ve been because it was their first time but everything they did that night was something he had loved so far. But he felt ashamed regardless of the reason.

He thought he was going to be fine, that he could do it with Stiles.

Body went from a shaky manner to an embarrassed one, hiding his face in Stiles’ neck and sliding away from his hold on his cheeks. His eyes were sure as blue as a glacier; he felt weak and miserable as his body was trembling until he heard his mate’s words so close to his ear.

“There’s no shame in being scared, Derek. We’re gonna work through it together.”

His eyes slowly rose back up, Stiles caught them as he was waiting to see those blue rings again; by then, the boy had one hand on his mate’s stomach and one on his nape, both reassuring and grounding. It eased some of the fear.

“It’s okay, it can happen that they get at you, and I’m here for you.” Stiles’ words calmed him down a bit, letting everything settle back and Derek’s body wasn’t shaking anymore.

Almost.

A few body tremors still broke out while Stiles kept reassuring him, holding him and kissing his face. Derek took a moment to gather himself before he took his mate’s lips in a graceful kiss.

“I’m back…” He breathed out, just for Stiles to hear as if scared someone else might hear that, but he had his mate with him; he hoped they could work it through.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Stiles asked, worried for Derek’s wellbeing, concern visible through his slim body which displayed just how ready he was to go downstairs and prepare some tea. But Derek held him, making sure he wouldn’t go anywhere he couldn’t follow; his legs weren’t going to work for a while…

“Yeah,” muttered the wolf as his legs relaxed on the sofa bed, in their nest, and he took in a nice lungful of Stiles’ scent to calm down even more. He knew Stiles wasn’t going to push him, so he took his lips again, going from tender to passionate, pulling his mate to join him; after some minutes of foreplay directed with their tongues, things settled back.

Hands were back to ravish skin and leave marks on tender flesh. Moans, from shy to firm, filled the room once more as Stiles was back on Derek’s nipples, but the wolf wanted to go forward.

And he wanted Stiles to take him.

Derek wanted Stiles to go all the way by then; his stomach was aching to be filled and the words slipped from his lips when Stiles was mouthing his neck.

“Take me, please.”

Stiles looked up at him, understanding, but Derek was growing impatient. So, his hips thrusted into his mate’s cock, making it slide further into his hole.

“Are you in a hurry now?” Jokingly smiled Stiles, pulling out and pushing back in just how much he knew his mate had already taken; it sure made him shut up and let out some moans the boy wanted to hear more of.

Derek was feeling much better; Stiles was being so good to him and the memories wouldn’t come back to bother him. He knew. He wouldn’t let them, or the fog, take anything else away from him.

“Please, I want you in me,” was merged into a lewd moan as Stiles had one hand on his stomach, caressing him as his cock was inside him, moving slowly back and forth.

Before Stiles acted on his mate’s request, his eyes scanned his body; no more tremor, no more fearful eyes, no more memories, no more pain or anguish. Derek even pulled at the hand on his stomach, making him almost fall on top of him.

Both arms were on his head’s sides, caging him there. “Anytime, we can stop” was the last reassurance Stiles dropped as a firm nod was given back to him. Then, he slowly started to push the rest of his length into Derek’s hole.

A long whimper mixed with a moan left the wolf’s lips as he felt every last inch of his mate’s cock filling him up; he thought he could almost feel the tip making a bulge on his stomach.

Stiles stayed still then, letting him adjust as Derek held his shoulders and panted in his ears, purposely doing so. He knew his moans got the other all worked up for him. Once he was ready, filling stretched nicely and ready for the next step, his hips sent the message as he pulled himself out and then rode back down on his mate’s cock.

“Someone’s ready?” Was shot along with a passionate look and Derek moaned out Stiles’ name in his neck when he started to thrust slowly in and out of him, catching his rim every time he did so.

Derek played with his back as Stiles kept on going, hitting his prostate from time to time and getting him to moan louder, whimpering and shivering as his stomach had, in fact, a small bulge on it.

Nails scratched his back, teeth bit into his shoulders and sometimes his collarbone as Stiles thrusted in deep inside of him, exposing his chest to Derek.

It didn’t take long before the pace started to get faster. Stiles hit Derek’s prostate more frequently, each time encouraged by his mate sweet and choked out moans being mouthed out in his ears; each dive into the wolf’s hole made obscene sounds that he didn’t care about; he was letting out even more whimpers and pretty noises for the boy to hear.

If he had neighbors, they would have had him out by morning the next day.

Icy eyes found Stiles looking at him with devotion mixed with a wild need of reaching deeper and deeper into him, almost as if he wanted to rearrange his gut with each pumping motion of his hips. At that moment, Derek’s own hips started to try to match his rhythm, starting slowly and off beat; he was able to catch up to it after Stiles got at his rim when the wolf was pulling back at the same time as him.

He wrapped his legs around him to match as well as possible to Stiles’ rhythm. “Look how good you’re being, taking it so well,” praised his mate; one hand went behind the wolf’s back, taking hold of his ass.

It was going really well and all the praises from Stiles held him closer to consciousness.

“You’re doing so well, staying here with me,” was praising the boy as the other never once drifted away in his mind.

No memories were coming at him; his mind was as clean as possible despite the small fog clouding some parts of his brain. Yet, Stiles held him and he felt anchored to the moment he was living.

Anchored to every little thing Stiles was doing to him.

“Gonna move you, alright?” Grunted out Stiles while Derek was getting close to the edge, to the point his ass was clenching around his mate’s cock. The grip on his asscheek was diabolic but the wolf couldn’t deny how wonderful it made him feel.

“In every position you want me,” moaned out Derek as he squeezed the other’s shoulders.

Both arms went behind his back and held him as Stiles picked him up, sitting him on his lap just like when he was stretching him with his fingers; Derek screamed silently at how deep his cock went further inside of him, their new position giving the boy all the nice angles he needed and his mate wanted to savor each and every one of them.

Hands kept holding his waist as Stiles’ hips buckled up, pushing inside of him, while Derek’s legs were wrapped around his torso just like his arms were around his neck.

With each movement, he could see the scars on Stiles’ hip moving along his skin, red and angry and sweaty.

Ice blue stared down at the boy. He knew what was missing, that he had to bite Derek’s nice spot between his neck and shoulder to claim him, and the wolf smelled the thought as his nose ran behind his mate’s ear.

He wanted Stiles to claim him, not just as the person he was, but also as something more; so he let words shiver down his lips as they hit Stiles’ ears.

“Alpha, please…”

The name was new to Stiles, but it didn’t feel wrong or strange; it came out way too quickly but it settled just as fast. Something soon clicked in place within and he figured out what it was when he looked at his…

There was a hint of shame in the wolf’s blue eyes and Stiles soon wiped it away. He moved one hand to hold his thigh, fingers digging in his flesh, owning. Derek melted on top of him, riding him slowly as the other was still recovering from what the wolf had said.

Stiles realized Derek was ready.

Derek was going to be his…

‘Omega?’ Stiles never thought of him that way…

The wolf could read the word in his scent, immaculate as always, and he smiled at Stiles feeling possessive of him, tentatively so. The boy noticed the flattered look he received and how those blue eyes were all too precious for him.

‘Precious and mine.’

“My precious omega…”

The word felt new on his tongue, strange on his lips as if it was an insult, but Derek got impossibly closer to him just because of it, holding tighter all around.

Derek was glad Stiles finally saw him as his omega.

Besides, what came next was a soft whisper from Stiles, reassuring even, into the other’s ears. “Does it make you feel loved when I call you like that?” And all he got back was a shy nod and a soft, low whimper as he felt Stiles’ free hand up and down his spine.

He locked his eyes in Derek’s for a moment, the hand on his thigh was digging through his flesh but he could tell just how much the omega appreciated it, savoring the news and pondering the responsibility within. ‘I’ve been calling for each other for a while, guess we are making it official, mh?’

His mouth reached closer to Derek’s collarbone, lips kissing the necklace that had been stuck to his lover’s damp skin all along and that he had looked at with a soft gaze as much as he could. And at which he was staring at that same moment.

Eyes were back up soon after, being met with blue, pleading eyes. Stiles fumbled right there and then.

His next words were enough for Derek to do what he felt right from the moment Stiles had always come to his rescue.

“Do it, baby. Your alpha and my omega.”

Eyes grew wider, anticipation and need, want and greed. His head tilted to the side as he felt his fangs come down. He wasn’t going to let anyone near Stiles ever again, he’d bite their necks off and serve them on a plate to his alpha.

His alpha.

It was so quick Stiles didn’t even notice the movement, only felt the aftermath of it.

Fangs were biting at his shoulder, dangerously near his neck but he trusted Derek regardless; Stiles groaned and moaned as he felt something swell in his heart, like something had grown in there in the span of a second.

Arms went around Derek’s waist then and held him steady while the boy pounded a few times into him, hitting his sweet spot over and over. He stopped as he felt something warm ran down his back from near his neck; teeth were sinking in his flesh and he didn’t care if there’d be blood.

He knew his omega would lick him clean.

His omega.

Derek felt the bite hatching, making his stomach ache and contract in strange ways; he wanted Stiles to do the same to him.

Pleading eyes, blue as the moonlight shining above them as the sky was clear from any clouds, Stiles found the plea that was calling him home.

They were both about to cum, Derek knew it and Stiles did too.

Yet, Derek kept riding him, nice and steady while Stiles was catching up his breath, looking up at his sweet, pretty mate, who was covered in sweat.

His shoulder seemed empty to Stiles’ eyes.

Derek felt Stiles’ cock pulsing and he couldn’t take it anymore. His stomach needed to be filled, just so everyone could smell his mate on him for a very, very long time.

“Cum in me, don’t pull out” he breathed heavily while his fangs were still out; he was fighting his claws to stay away. Stiles did as he was told, or screamed at perhaps.

“I’d do anything for you, my sweet omega, my mate.”

As he said those words, his teeth also found their place on the wolf’s special spot near his neck and Stiles bit down.

Hard.

He held Derek’s hips down, keeping him on his cock as he was over the edge, cum spilling out. The omega took his full length into his hole, feeling it being filled by his mate.

Derek could feel everything setting into place.

The mating bite bonding them, working on Stiles despite him being human.

His stomach easing up so quickly once he felt hot all over as Stiles let it all out inside of him.

His own relief came as soon as Stiles bit down and marked him, yet he didn’t notice until he came down the high of being chosen.

Of being Stiles’ omega.

Of having his claim taken by Stiles.

He knew that would stick to his thick, impenetrable skin; if not the hundred love bites Stiles had done to him, the mating claim surely would.

Everything settled and everything overstimulated him. His head fell backwards but Stiles held it back, biting his neck softly once the mating bite was done.

Stiles then retrieved his head, held his omega in his lap and took in the scene he had been granted to call as his own.

Derek’s silhouette was defined by the dim glow of the night, the moonlight highlighting his neck and shoulders, his whole torso. Stiles’ slim fingers dug deep into his waist and also his thighs as he couldn’t help but wonder around what was his.

It was as if he had an angel in his lap, and he was looking up to him for something. To be told the secret to religion, to everything sacred in the world.

And as if his mind had been read by the wolf, Derek leaned closer and pushed against Stiles’ fingers, feeling them and savoring how his skin melted around them.

In the alpha’s ear, the omega said:

“Love, My love”

And then Stiles’ eyes fell close, Derek’s lips on his own as he sealed the promise of a timeless agreement of worship between them…

Then, things got quiet when their lips parted. The loss was unbearable but only for a slip second.

Derek was all calmed down, still sitting in Stiles’ lap with his full length inside of him; he started gaining some more awareness.

His eyes looked at his mate, Stiles, who was doing the same, while his mind thought: ‘worship is silent, but also loud.’

The wolf looked around his mate’s face, amazed and satisfied to be finally owned and to own him. Hands traveled along his skin as well, mapping every mole he found.

Then, it hit him how bloody his mark looked on Stiles, despite his own not even having reached past his skin, if not a bit. He could clearly see the mark of Stiles’ canine teeth and how deep they had reached deep into his flesh. But Derek’s mark was deep and bloody, raw; to his blue eyes, it was painful to watch.

His tongue started licking him; Stiles held his head there as he was also recomposing himself after such a night. He was definitely not going for another round after that.

Derek was about to go completely limp in Stiles’ arms, but he fought it back, wanting to take care of his alpha.

‘My alpha… Finally.’

Saliva kept on cleaning up blood but Stiles seemed to be completely calm despite the red seeping out of his new wound. “It’s okay baby, it’ll be fine” he reassured, petting Derek’s nape and caressing his lower back.

But he didn’t stop; he kept on his task until Stiles slowly laid him down on the mattress, pulling his softened cock out of him, which still resulted in a small moan from the other at the loss of it.

“Derek, my perfect omega, let me take care of this.”

It wasn’t a question or a command, just a sentence that sent shivers down Derek’s whole body; he let Stiles be, also because he was about to pass out if he didn’t rest a bit.

The mating process had drained him of every ounce of energy and Stiles was just the same. However, he seemed to take on the aftercare duties much more calmly than Derek.

Stiles took a cloth out the nest, Derek not even minding or noticing it and the boy took note of that, smiling at the change that showed just how much more bonded they were after such an adventure.

The wolf was laying by his side, eyes blissfully closed as he rested but not fell asleep. He wanted to talk to Stiles. He really did, but he was too tired in that instant.

The alpha passed it on his omega’s body, gentle and in wiping motions, slow with the hand holding the cloth and reassuring as his other hand passed above the dry skin afterwards; always making sure Derek would feel comfortable.

Once his whole body was done, Stiles did the same to his own but his mind kept wondering about…

“My body will absorb it.”

The boy found his lover’s eyes looking at him, the blue gone and the green back.

Derek's words shocked Stiles to the core. One thing was mating but that was something entirely new and kind of unsettling until he figured that’s what was meant to happen.

Or perhaps, what his omega wanted.

He gave his alpha a bit more explanation, after all he wasn’t a werewolf. How could he know?

“It’ll make me smell like you, everyone will be able to tell.” And he was silently looking forward to seeing how long other werewolves could smell it, for how long they’d be able to tell. But for then, it was time to rest.

Stiles laid by his lover’s side on his back and Derek was quick to spawn on top of him, curling by his side, chest as pillow and legs tangled.

His mate was satisfied and the boy could tell it was time for a little chit chat, and he knew Derek had something to ask him, maybe something light. At least he hoped so.

And he was right, because Derek asked him in a thin whisper, tired from their night together, “I didn’t think you’d take on the alpha and omega aspect so easily?”

When Stiles was about to answer he also said, “I thought you made a joke out of it in the middle of us doing it.” It cracked a laugh in the boy’s throat as his hold of his mate got tighter.

“One, I’d never do that. Two, it just clicked, like we were meant to say all of those things... I guess your mom was right.” The boy said as his hands ran in the other’s hair, caressing him as he was all ears for his voice.

But he wasn’t done, “plus, I love you without conditions and those blue eyes make you even prettier.”

“And!” he was adding again, one finger up as to make a statement, “roleplay is good for your soul.”

Derek smacked his arm and Stiles faked to be hurt by it, but it all soon turned into a lighting contest that ended with no winner; then a thin whisper found its way to the wolf’s ears.

“Well, maybe not for us. We do give it more meaning as we are, ain’t that right, my sweet omega?”

Stiles’ words made Derek’s demeanor change from laughter to shyness. He hid his face in his alpha’s chest but the boy still pinched his chin to look up at him, into amber eyes.

Derek scrunched his brows and looked up at him, head raising from his hiding spot but Stiles just put on a big smile and started massaging behind the wolf’s ears. In a thin breath “I got you” was Stiles claiming his win.

He knew that would get to Derek and it did, after all he was just a big puppy in Stiles’ eyes, most of the time anyway; especially when he wasn’t mouthing kisses at his neck.

Derek had another question then, “where did you learn all of that?” And the answer was simple yet long and with multiple steps, ‘so in tune with who you are, mh…’ was the omega’s way to adore him.

Stiles began to say, “porn” and Derek was shocked, ‘what the hell do you watch?’ But it was meant without any shame; then, “and a lot of imagination.”

Eyebrows shot high on his face, “I don’t think I want to know what else you imagined.” Stiles pulled his best puppy face so Derek gave in. “At least not right now, darling.”

“Also,” started again Stiles, catching someone's attention, “I just followed what your body told me, I read you as best as I could to make sure you’d be comfortable with everything…”

Derek had a thin tint of embarrassment on his cheeks, so he hid his face in the other’s neck and prayed Stiles would let him stay there but fingers found his chin and pulled his head up.

Stiles had a kind look in his eyes, that smile of his that Derek had always secretly admired was now on full display just for him. Because of him, because Stiles was smiling at him.

But those eyes fell down, the smile disappeared and Derek was perplexed; the boy’s mind was raging as the other cupped his face, elbows supporting his torso beside the boy. ‘What's going on?’

“Alpha, Stiles…” He called out for him, wanting to help, snuggling closer to him hoping his body heat and his presence could soothe him enough to talk. And it did.

It made Derek feel like the most important person to someone in the whole world, to snap Stiles Mieczysław Stilinski out of his goddamn mind and back to reality. He did that to Stiles, for Stiles.

The boy batted his eyelids, regaining his mind’s rein and simply saying, “I was thinking about that night you came to my room, scratching on my window…”

Derek remembers that night well and even the events before, when he was running in the woods to get to Stiles, to breathe in his scent and just long for his presence to soothe him.

But then words fell from his lips, Derek didn’t catch them and let them be. After all, it seemed like she’d known about them…

“Erica thought we’d be stronger…”

Stiles’ eyes got wider and his heart skipped a beat. He held Derek closer to him, not only to comfort him but to ground himself thanks to him. He’d never thought Erica was looking at them.

But the mood eased fairly quickly; Stiles leaving a kiss on Derek’s head and the omega nudging his nose in his neck, leaving a kiss of his own there, intentionally above the mating bite.

They had gone over it, she was gone but she was in a better place, so Stiles also shared something he had kept to himself that night.

He picked up the other’s chin, pinching it between two soft fingers, eyes meeting and wondering how he’d end up there if it wasn’t for his stubborn decision to ‘always be available for his friend.’

‘Even Deaton saw it…’

It ran in his mind as he caressed the wolf’s cheek with one finger, making sure he wasn’t dwelling in the past, no matter how far behind them.

A kiss found its rightful place on Derek’s lips and Stiles spoke above his mouth, eyes never drifting away for his omega’s.

“I’m glad we made it…”

Derek’s eyes got wider, confusion mixed with his calm features, but Stiles bumped his forehead with his. A stray tear fell from his eye, which became blue; so impossibly cold…

Stiles reached for him with his free hand, wiping away that damn tear with his thumb. He wasn’t going to see him crying, not anymore.

So he said something else, something more.

“You are important and I’m proud of how far you’ve come.”

Stiles played with his mate’s necklace for a small instant, to pass the message across the room.

The omega between his fingers didn’t cry then, just closed his eyes and reciprocated the forehead bump; the boy pulled him half on top of him and Derek just clicked in every crevice of his body. The alpha held him tenderly and fondly, hearing his heart beating; his eyes never left him as he kept looking up at Stiles, arms crossed on one side of his chest, head resting on them with blue eyes.

He was purring under his alpha’s touch, letting him know how good he had been taken care of just thanks to him. Stiles closed his eyes for a moment and took in the blissful sound he claimed as his bedtime lullaby.

But before they fell asleep and slept, really slept, the moon was high and shiny above them, praying for their joy. Its cycle was near its end but there would be another; there would always be another, right?

And Derek could only feel the same for Stiles, how he’d never want anything more to stay in his life. How good he did for waiting for another night, to keep that little hope that maybe…

Maybe it'd be worth it in the end, or somewhere along the ride.

The night was dark and threatening, but the stars were beating it away and then showered the world in constellations made only to be admired. How could one even begin to want something impossible to touch after all?

Besides, Stiles thought the same of Derek, how he’d never thought of him as someone he could have, so distant and out of reach. But here he was in his arms, making the night less dark…

His eyes glowing in the pitch black of the night; Stiles knew he would follow those lights everywhere they’d go.

So, before their eyes were actually welcoming sleep to settle between them, Stiles kissed Derek and an omega finally found its alpha.

Each fitting the other like a puzzle; the edge of the pieces were clearly scratched and dented, but they made it fit.

“Oh, and I forgot to tell you…”

Stiles murmured one last time, eyes full of devotion for Derek.

“...I’m glad you’re alive.”