Work Text:
Reigen had forgotten that today's his birthday again, he always does as if it didnt exist at all. As a kid, he stopped throwing parties when he went to school, it was harder to convince older kids to come than preschoolers. It was like that from Elementary to College, not even his parents remembered— his older sister sometimes does and would wake him up late at night to sing him a tune then they go back to the usual routine. No cake, no party, nothing, nobody.
Reigen stared at his inbox for a long time.
When Reigen was fourteen, still in that same black gakuran that Mob wears everyday— he would dream of being somebody, of being famous and beloved to crush the aching loneliness when his older sister had left for college and his parents hardly acknowledged him unless he got bad marks or detention. Maybe, if he was famous, in the spotlight, his older sister would look on and waved at him again. His mother would stop pestering him about his life choices, it was bad enough being a bachelor, and to top it all off, queer.
His family had been cold, distant, uncaring. Reigen often had to buy and prepare his meals, never eating dinner along with his parents, even as a kid. Reigen walked to school alone, no siblings, no friends. Reigen was unremarkable, unpopular, a bit bullied for his tendency to overshare his interests. His older sister was an exception, a beacon of light in the darkness that was his childhood and even then she had left him. Everyone does, at the end anyways.
His school friends were a flurry of blurred faces, Reigen didnt join any clubs as a kid, he didnt do anything— he realizes a decade too late, he didnt have warm memories in middle school or high school, he could scarcely remember his teenage years, it was lonely, lazy, sad. Why? Why had he been so lazy? So unmotivated? He knows he can charm and talk to people, then why?
He was such a coward.
He vaguely remembered the reason why he wanted to be famous; so he could have many friends.
The internet was having a field day, making fun of him and his naive younger self, his stupid middle school dreams. Thousands stomp on it and laughed at it, Reigen wondered if anyone is cut out for this kind of cruelty, Reigen was annoyed and he clicked away. It was so easy to dismiss thousands of mocking strangers.
Reigen Arataka, as a student, was studious, obedient, hair gelled and not a single strand out of place. He graduated early, he barreled through college and immediately started working and moved out. Reigen was a natural liar, he didnt know when it started. Maybe his childhood, when he lied about tests or whatnot, Reigen muses, but that doesnt matter when he grew up to be a mythomaniac.
He lies and lies until he drowns in them, have nightmares about the people in his life discovering just how pathetic he is and leaving, desperate for approval and laughs, desperate to be on the good side of good people. Desperate to hide his faults, his inadequacy.
He lies not out of convenience, he does it just because it'll make him look good, sometimes he sprinkles some truths here and there to certain people, everyone have a wildly different story of one Reigen Arataka and if they compare their notes— they would see just how much he lies.
Sometimes he feels bad about it, sometimes he tells the truth but only when its forced out of him or if it necessary to the situation.
He lies so people wouldnt leave him, because at the end, they always did.
Even Mob.
Reigen wretched at the alley behind the bar, a moth dies when it reached the light and fell on his feet. Maybe, he asked for too much and give so little, maybe his words finally backfired on him instead of protecting him from breaking under the pressures of society. This is it, the end of the road, it's over for him.
Reigen threw up all over the trash can, wiping at his mouth, aghast and trembling. The moon looked on somberly, the stars were shrouded in darkness. That night was horrible and it continued that way.
Reigen still remembered when Mob showed up at his door step. He thought he was doing something with this exorcism job, helping Mob and helping people. He thought he made something of himself, made a close connection with someone other than his blood relatives and his distant drinking buddies. Now that connection is severed because of his selfishness, his ego, his lies.
Reigen wondered if he should just collapse in this alley and hope some bastard took pitybon him and put him out of his misery. Or maybe he should head back to the bar and the drink the whole beer barrel until his weak liver gave out and he died of alcohol poisoning. But, Reigen was stubborn so he ran business as usual and soon enough he bit more than he can chew, as usual.
Of course.
Now, he didnt even have a stable job and got into a widespread controversy for being a conman. He didnt even have his clients or his drinking buddies anymore, everything in his life was falling like dominoes. They all know now, he was nothing special, a fake, a liar, a conman.
Cameras were everywhere, the curtains drawn open, showtime.
Reigen felt his fingertips tensed, his face was awfully neutral. His steps were even and he didnt trip or stutter, he didnt look away in shame, he stares at his judgement in the eyes and let the judges mercilessly give him his sentence.
Guilty.
Thoughts of his disciple, his crippling loneliness haunted his mind. The fact that he was still a nobody, even if he was a somebody, it was somebody hated and outcasted, does this really count as fame? Or anything at all? Hes always such a coward. His deepest regret was holding someone as bright and ambitious as Mob back.
The lights flashed all over, blinding him, he looked ahead with a fixed gaze; it was soft and genuine, the calm before the storm.
"You've grown, haven't you?" Reigen Arataka says, because thats all he thinks to say at the moment. The crowd jeered and voiced out their indignance, they stuff their microphones closer to his face as if it'll somehow make him read the speech his mother had prepared him earlier that day.
Suddenly, the earth shook, gravity stilled and the microphones and equipment went flying all over.
Reigen left the conference, hands in his pockets, he strolls away effortlessly, as if this almost impossible burden placed upon his shoulders had suddenly been lifted.