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Olivia felt a little out of place.

The cringey pop music playing softly in the background, overlaid with talking voices and laughter felt like white noise to her own thoughts. She watched Fin and Phoebe from afar, how they were pressed against each other and laughing while conversing with colleagues. Her face glowed, and his eyes shimmered with emotion she hadn’t seen in his face for months.

She fiddles with the wine glass in her hand, leaned back against the barriers of the venue overlooking the Hudson. Her black dress with a flower pattern felt overly cheerful, and she suddenly regretted not wearing something more… sober. She’d straightened her hair and she was starting to regret that, too. The way it layed flat, framing her face so geometrically was unpleasant.

Whenever she saw herself in a mirror, she couldn’t help the slight frowning twitch of her lips.

Her eyes scoured the venue, sorting through the familiar and unfamiliar faces a million times over. Rollins and Carisi had whisked away somewhere. Part of her wondered if they would finally get it over with. Part of her wished they weren’t so obvious.

She should be happy. She should be smiling, chatting with her colleagues. She should be glowing, not sulking in a corner shivering like a puppy.

Elliot was supposed to get her coat. What was taking him so long?

She takes a sip of the wine, trying to drown out her own mind with alcohol. Frankly, she should be drinking something stronger for that, but wine was her comfort drink of sorts. She didn’t feel like stepping out of her comfort zone right now.

All she wanted to do was go home to Noah, hold him in her arms while sitting on the couch watching a movie. He’d fall asleep, and she’d carry him to bed like she used to when he was a toddler and watch him sleep for an hour or two. Then, she’d pour herself another glass of wine and sit in silence. Finally, she’d go to bed, read a few pages of the book on her nightstand before letting herself fall asleep.

Olivia missed being young. Back when she wasn’t a captain, these evenings would be the most fun she’d have for months. She would laugh with Rafa, gossip with Rollins and joke with Fin. Her responsibilities would melt away, and the tension in her shoulders would fade with them.

Now, she felt she needed to uphold a certain reputation. She needed to be the Olivia Benson these people saw on TV during press conferences. She could laugh, but only for a few moments, and it couldn’t be too loud. She couldn’t be too uptight, but she couldn’t be too girlish either. The tension in her shoulders would be sharp, almost painful.

God, she missed being young.

She missed running around, retouching her red lipstick in the cop car before they zoomed away and messing with her hair that never seemed to look right. She missed the playful banter with Elliot. She missed Alex. She even missed drinking at the bar with Rafael, but it doesn’t seem like that long ago.

Although, watching these people, her friends and coworkers, she couldn’t help the small smile curling her lips. At least they were happy. At least Fin and Phoebe were happy. Really, that’s all that mattered.

As much as she disliked the fact most of these people were from the department, she didn’t mind it that much either. She’d let loose a little, danced to some of the songs she liked and, believe it or not, she had gossiped with Rollins a little.

Maybe she was just getting tired and grumpy. Maybe she just needed a minute to think after that glum conversation with Garland. She just needed to sit back for a few moments, and she’d be back in the ring, giggling like nothing had ever happened.

Finally, Elliot steps over to her, holding her coat. She smiles, sighing a little with relief.

“Here you go,” he says, bowing his head a little with mock courtesy. He lifts the coat and places it over her shoulders, and she whispers a thank you.

She turns back to him, handing him the second wine glass she’d been guarding. “And I got this for you.”

Elliot takes it in his rough, calloused hands, turning to look at Fin and Phoebe. “They make a good couple,” he says. Olivia nods in agreement. “How’d they meet?”

Olivia smiles slightly, gesturing over to Phoebe with her wine glass. “She’s a cop. His first partner.”

Elliot’s eyebrows rise ever so slightly. She smirks, giving him a look. They’d shared a lot of those in their lifetimes.

Then, like clones or counterparts, twins sharing a mind, they both turn to face the Hudson. Olivia tilts her wine glass toward Elliot’s, a coy smile playing on her lips. He obliges, tilting his glass towards hers.

“To partners,” she says, a little quietly for a toast, as their glasses meet with a clink.

With that, they both take a sip, a comfortable silence settling over the both of them.

Partners. What a weird thing. Two people, placed together, with or against their will and expected to work together. They could be polar opposites, and they’re expected to look out for each other. They could virtually hate each other, yet still they’d jump in front of the other to take a bullet.

Olivia has often pondered why partners get such bonds. Maybe it’s the shared trauma that you inevitably face, the constant push and pull of fear and anxiety. Maybe it’s because it’s a sort of responsibility, something you’re expected to do, something you need to do. Or, maybe, it’s just the fact you spend so much time together. These two people, forced to be in close quarters constantly. They have to fight until it works out, or else both their asses are on the table.

Partnerships are an interesting dynamic. Elliot, despite being gone for ten years, knows Olivia better than anyone else. He learned about her, learned how she thinks and acts. She’s an open book to him, and he’s an open book to her. She could look at him, right now, and know exactly what he’s thinking.

She could see that dynamic in Fin and Phoebe, in the way they were so familiar with each other. She could see it in the way their bodies moved, in constant unison and their sentences finished by the other when they couldn’t find their words. The way their eyes met, how millions of unspoken words flowed between those looks.

She could see that dynamic in Rollins and Carisi, too. She’d noticed how they’d slipped away, wordlessly, probably to do what she and Elliot were doing now: standing in silence, watching the water, lost in their thoughts. She could see it in Rollins’ eyes, her pretty blue gaze always fixed intently on her ex-partner as he spoke. She could see it in Carisi’s voice, how it softened ever so slightly when he spoke to Rollins and he thought no one was listening. She could see it when they walked, shoulder to shoulder, chatting or silent, their hands playing a will-they-won’t-they game of ‘Will they hold my hand?’, a game Olivia had played many times over with many different people.

She sighs, turning back to look at the gathering. Speaking of them, Rollins and Carisi were back and chatting with Fin. She observes Carisi’s hand on Rollins’ back. She observes how Rollins is leaned against him, a little too close for a purely platonic relationship. She hums a little, a smile curling her lips. Maybe she should expect another wedding soon.

“Isn’t that your ADA?” Elliot asks, breaking the silence. He must’ve noticed Olivia’s look.

She nods, briefly. “He used to be a detective. He was pretty good. After ADA Stone, he took the role.” There’s a pause. “I guess it’s for the better, to have an ex-cop as our lawyer. I’d like to think he understands victims and perps better… Although I don’t forgive him for how suddenly he left. I had to scramble to find another detective, we were swamped for weeks.”

Elliot huffs a little. “And the blonde?”

“Amanda Rollins. One of the best detectives I’ve worked with. She’s probably one of my best friends, too.” Olivia sighs wistfully.

“Looks like they’re friendly,” Elliot chuckles, his tone teasing like an uncle or a father.

Olivia grins, looking up at him. “We’ll probably have another wedding soon.”

He smiles, too.

“Hey, Liv!” Rollins waves Olivia over, a bright look on her face. “Get over here!” She says, in her pleasant Georgia accent Olivia could listen to for days on end.

Olivia downs the rest of her wine, then pats Elliot’s shoulder. “Duty calls.”

He nods, pursing his lips a little. “I won’t be far.”

With that, Olivia joins Rollins, holding the coat closer to her. She feels the detective place an arm around her shoulders, pressing her closer. Soon, Olivia was part of the huddled group that was Carisi and Rollins. Her arm rested on Rollin’s shoulders, because Carisi’s arm was already around the blonde’s waist.

Fin smiles at them, that kind and sweet smile he has. His phone rings, and he quickly picks up. “Tutuola. … Uh huh… Okay. See you soon. Hurry up, though, you’re missing everything.” He hangs up, then winks at Olivia.

“Who was it?” she asks, with a raise of her brows and a questioning tone.

He grins. “Old friends.”

Then, he just whisks away toward the bar.

Rollins rolls her eyes a little, but she can’t help but smile. “He never gives you a straight answer, does he?” she drawls.

Olivia shakes her head regretfully. “Nope.”

Carisi furrows his brows. “I feel like I haven’t met nearly everyone that used to be in this squad.”

“Oh, trust me, you haven’t even scratched the surface,” Olivia laughs.

Then, all of the sudden, Fin calls for a toast. The little trio separate, then waddle over to gather around Fin. Elliot wordlessly finds Olivia’s side, and now she’s sandwiched between him and Rollins. Rollins finds her hand, taking it softly in hers. Olivia can’t quite tell if it’s protectiveness or for reassurance.

“Now, y’all may be thinking that there’s already enough people here. But! I did invite a few other familiar faces.” Fin looks so proud of himself, a bright grin on his face. “They were supposed to be on time, but of course ex-detectives are never on time. Everyone cheer for my other ex-partner, Munch!”

Munch grins, waving toward the crowd and joining Fin’s side. Somehow, he hasn’t changed a bit.

Olivia and Elliot laugh. “Did you have to dig him out of his grave and revive him to get him here?” he calls over to Fin, who gives him a pointed look before breaking into a smile. Munch entertains the crowd for a few moments, making everyone laugh and cheer.

Two figures hover behind him, looking shy and unsure. As Fin beckons them forward, Olivia recognizes Amaro with his dark hair and the new addition of a thick beard, waving at everyone. Rollins huffs beside her, turning to Carisi to make some comment about him.

The second figure inches forward and…

Olivia’s heart jumps into her throat.

Alex Cabot.

How the hell did Fin get her here?

She lets out a strained exhale, and both Rollins and Elliot turn to give her a quizzical look. Elliot recognizes the blonde ADA, but he can’t quite figure out what would warrant a reaction like that from Olivia. Rollins probably just assumed it’s another ghost in Olivia’s closet, someone her captain wouldn’t exactly like to talk to again. She never met Alex, not even during the whole Jules Hunter case.

The pair of them weren’t exactly on good terms. Sure, they’d parted amicably, with that glorious exchange of “I could never do what you do, Alex.” “And I can’t stop.” which was followed by a hug that made Olivia want to rip her heart out and hand it to her. However, after that, they hadn’t kept much contact. Olivia tried to conveniently steer away from DV cases, on the off chance she’d have to face Alex again. Despite turning a blind eye to her, Olivia spent egregious amounts of time thinking about her, fuming that she should’ve done something.

Olivia wasn’t very good at conflicting feelings, and it didn’t help that Alex made her throw any common sense out of the window. No matter how pissed Olivia got, she still could look at Alex and all of her anger and ill feelings would fade from her mind. Something about her blonde hair and blue eyes, or maybe the fact she was just so amazing most of the time. It really wasn’t fair.

Now Alex got to walk scot free, smuggling women over borders and committing countless felonies and crimes, and Olivia did nothing about it. That alone soured their relationship, at least on Olivia’s side.

(Not to mention those years spent missing Alex so badly it hurt still bottled up inside of her. That fear that she’d slip away at any moment once she returned, almost dreamlike as she’d stand in the squad room like she never left. That fear that Olivia would never say what she wanted to say, or do the things she wanted to do. That fear settled into a numb pain in her chest when the inevitable did happen, and Alex left to go wherever she desired. Olivia would wait by the door, whining like a dog, waiting and waiting for her to return because she always came back for some reason. Olivia still feels like a dog, now, standing here staring at her with wide eyes.)

And there she is, standing there, a little to the side, a nervous look on her face. Olivia can’t tell if she wants to strangle her or kiss her until they pass out.

Everyone claps, cheers even. They probably cheer for Munch, though, as he’s the real star of the show. He makes some joke about how he would’ve married Fin, too, being ex-partners and all, which gets the whole crowd to burst out laughing. Olivia, on the other hand, can’t take her eyes off of Alex.

Alex is wearing a pretty black dress, simple but equally flattering. She holds her purse in front of her, and she looks a little nervous. A lot of unfamiliar faces for her, probably. She’s wearing simple black shoes, as well as one of her coats Olivia recognized from her lawyer days. From what Olivia can tell from this distance, she can see that Alex has makeup on, some glossy lipstick, blush and eyeliner maybe.

Once their introductions are made, Olivia parts from her little group and cuts through the crowd to greet Alex. She exhales when their eyes meet. Her heart races like she’s facing a predator. Alex’s icy blue eyes look enchanting. What should she do? Give a simple greeting? Slap her? Hug her? She doesn’t have the time to choose.

“Olivia,” Alex says with a slight smile. “Sorry I’m late.”

“How did Fin get you here?” Olivia asks, a little breathless, her hand instinctively finds Alex’s shoulder. For some reason, her hands itch to run along Alex’s pale skin.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Alex waves her hand dismissively, an embarrassed blush creeping over her cheeks.

Olivia fumbles for words and spends a few moments spluttering in front of Alex. Then, her brain turns off, and she grabs Alex to pull her into a hug. Her hands grip the blonde woman’s coat like she’s holding onto it for dear life, and she buries her face in the crook of Alex’s neck.

Alex doesn’t say anything. She just follows Olivia’s lead, lacing her arms delicately around the captain, pressing her cheek to Olivia’s hair. “You know,” she whispers, “I only came here to see you.”

Olivia’s stomach flips over and over. She moves away, a little suddenly. Alex’s eyes are gentle, loving. Olivia melts, grinning, all of their past troubles and skirmishes fading into love and admiration. “I’m glad you came.”

Alex nods, her smile soft.

“Well!” Elliot’s voice says. Olivia feels his hand on her shoulder and she almost inches away from it. “Looks like our lawyer has come back. How are you, Alex?”

Alex smiles, but it’s a little forced. “Good. How about you?”

Elliot’s face flashes. “I’ve been better, but I’m happy to be here. Y’know, for Fin.”

Alex nods slowly. “Right.”

Olivia turns a little, searching for Rollins and Carisi. She finds them, locked in an undoubtedly uncomfortable conversation with Amaro. Olivia takes Alex’s hand, ready to sail in to help Rollins. “Here, let me introduce you to some detectives in my squad.”

She takes Alex, practically drags her, over to the trio. Olivia smiles, straightening her back a little. “Amaro,” she says, “I assume you’ve met Alex Cabot.”

Amaro blinks, sending a few glances toward Rollins (who, Olivia notices, makes a point not to meet his eyes) before nodding. “Yes.”

Olivia turns to Alex, gesturing to Amaro. “He’s one of my old detectives. He’s working on something or other over in California.” The ex-detective nods, and Alex just politely smiles at him. “How’s Zara?” Olivia asks, trying to feign some sort of interest.

“Good,” Amaro replies plainly.

Olivia parrots his response, then turns to gesture to Rollins and Carisi. “Here’s my detective Amanda Rollins, and ADA Carisi, who you’ve met,” she introduces a little clumsily. Rollins waves a little at Alex, although her eyes are narrowed with something that could be skepticism or interest.

Alex nods, scrambling to shake everyone’s hand and nod with a courteous “Nice to meet you.”

Olivia points over to Kat, who was a little ways from them chatting with unfamiliar faces, her hand resting on her girlfriend’s hip. “That’s another one of my detectives: Katriona Tamin, but we mostly call her Kat. We don’t have to go say hi though.” She feels jittery, and she can tell from the worried or confused looks in the people surrounding her that they can tell.

Alex blinks, looking at her with a worried expression. “You look pale.”

Olivia sighs, pinching your nose bridge. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts, then breathes slowly. “I think I just need to head home.”

Amanda nods. “Okay. I’ll walk you to the car,” she moves forward, taking Olivia’s hands. Instinctively, one of her hands press against Olivia’s forehead like she’s checking for a fever. Then, it moves to her hair, smoothing it slightly.

Olivia smiles a little. “Don’t worry, Amanda. I can get to my car alone.”

“Are you sure?” the latter responds, her eyebrows knitted with worry.

Olivia sighs, smiling. “Yes.”

Amanda moves away, although she still looks a little worried.

As Olivia waves goodbye, bringing the coat closer to her in an attempt to comfort herself, a song starts playing on the speakers. The volume’s been raised, and you can hear it clearly over everyone’s voices. It’s a song Olivia used to love when she was younger. She’d practically forgotten about it.

Alex takes her hand with a grin. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna leave me hanging on this one.”

Suddenly, Olivia remembers why she used to love that song.

It had been a rainy evening, a few months after Alex had joined their squad as the new ADA. It was pouring, hard, and Olivia didn’t really feel like going out and running to the subway stop. She’d been loitering in the Courthouse, wandering around aimlessly to give herself some sort of purpose. She’d eventually stopped in front of Alex’s office.

The two didn’t know each other very well back then, but there was that weird sort of attraction she held toward the blonde ADA already. Those moments of thick tension when they passed each other, quickly brushing. Those moments when their eyes locked. Those moments when Olivia resented all the people that turned to follow Alex as she walked past them, undoubtedly staring at her ass and wishing they could take her back to their office.

Olivia stood before the door for a while, reading over the text on the fogged glass that said ‘ADA Alexandra Cabot’ about a hundred times.

Finally, she knocked on the door.

Alex opened the door, squinting. It was highly unconventional for people to knock so late. Her eyes softened when she saw Olivia. “Liv. Is something wrong?” She straightened her pose a little, trying to seem more professional. She pushed up her glasses in a quick motion.

Olivia shrugged. “It’s pouring outside, I thought I’d stop by till it calmed down.” She smiled, briefly.

Alex moved to the side a little. “Come on in, then.”

Olivia stepped into the office leisurely. She’d been in here before, just not alone. Alex had turned on a lamp in the corner, sending a nice cozy light across the room. It was warm in here, better than the Courthouse hallways anyway. The rain pattered on the window, a soft and comforting sound.

“Make yourself at home.” Alex sighed, walking to her chair and sitting at her desk. She seemed to be working on paperwork. Olivia sat on the guest chair, facing the ADA. Bored, she fiddled with the radio until something good came on.

Alex looked up at her, brows furrowed. “I’m trying to work here.”

Olivia smiled. “Come on, just one song!”

The song playing was unknown to Olivia. She just stood, grabbed Alex’s hand and yanked her over to dance. Alex looked a little uncomfortable.

“Just follow the music Alex,” Olivia said with a wide smile, taking Alex’s hand and lifting it over the ADA’s head. She spun, shyly, and when she was facing Olivia again her cheeks were pink.

Alex blushed with an embarrassed chuckle. “I’m really bad at dancing.”

Olivia laughed a little. “Oh, come on! No one’s bad at dancing.” She moved away from Alex to demonstrate. “You just gotta loosen up! Listen to the music, groove a little!”

Alex watched her with a nice, pretty smile. Her eyes twinkled from behind the glasses, but maybe that was just the light playing on the lenses. “I don’t even know this song,” she said.

“As if that’s an excuse!” Olivia scolded affectionately. She took Alex’s hands again and started moving, trying to get the blonde to join in. Eventually, she let Olivia take the lead, following her movements and steps.

Olivia loved making her spin. Alex’s hair would flow, blonde and silky in the cozy lighting. She would smile, a girlish and adorable smile. The skirt she was wearing would spin with her, too, and Olivia drank in the sight.

 The song finished, and by that time Alex was dizzy and breathless. “Why’d you make me spin so much!” she complained, but it was drowned out by her laughter.

Olivia grinned. “You just look so pretty when you spin like that,” she said, then laughed.

Alex sighed, sending a sort of glare to Olivia. Then, she walked over to her desk to retrieve their coats. “The rain’s stopped,” she remarked, handing Olivia’s coat over.

Olivia raised her brows. “Walk me out?”

Alex winked. “Of course.”

That evening had been the first time Olivia was willing to call Alex her friend. Sure, that title didn’t really explain the feeling in the detective’s stomach when they looked at each other, or the reason why Olivia constantly wanted to be near her, but at the time it didn’t really seem like a big deal.

Olivia smiles at Alex. She still looks just as beautiful as she did that evening.

“Of course not,” she chuckles, taking Alex’s hand and hurrying over to the dancefloor.

To this day, Olivia still didn’t know the song’s name. Whenever she heard it on the radio, those memories would flood back to her and she’d smile. She was so fond of that song. She just called it “Alex’s song”. It seemed appropriate enough.

Olivia quickly discards her and Alex’s coats on a chair before hurrying to join her dance partner. The pair laughs, reaching the center of the dancefloor, holding each other’s hands delicately. Most of the party goers were following their lead, retreating to the covered space with the dancefloor and party lights. A mirrorball spun overhead, sending sparkling shapes along Alex’s skin. Olivia was about to fall in love all over again.

Olivia grins, taking Alex’s hand and making the ex-ADA spin. Alex smiles, her hair flowing beautifully like a curving golden river. She has a coy smile playing on her lips because she knows how Olivia’s heart speeds up when she watches her spin. The black dress, despite being rather fitting, flows and follows her movements.

Alex then takes Olivia’s hand to make her spin. Olivia’s too-bright flower print dress flows around her, and her hair follows that same motion. Although, Olivia doesn’t spin as long as Alex. She’s too conscious of how ridiculous her dress is, or how she hates her straightened hair. Still, despite all of that, Alex’s eyes gleam with something akin to affection as Olivia moves back toward her.

They soon fall into their usual routine, where Olivia takes the lead and Alex follows her. The routine where Alex’s movements are a little awkward, but she forgets that because Olivia’s leading. The routine where Olivia watches Alex spin so many times that she’s dizzy and stumbling over her own feet.

The two eventually start flirting with each other, getting so close all Olivia could feel was Alex. Then, just like that, she’d whisk away from the captain’s grasp, spinning and laughing. Olivia’s hands would reach out, trying to catch her. She felt like she was chasing after a ghost, and somehow it was even more exhilarating.

As the song ends, Alex moves back toward Olivia, giggling. “God! I missed dancing like that,” she says, laughing. Her hands rest on Olivia’s chest. She twirls a finger around a strand of the captain’s hair. “I didn’t know you straightened it.”

Olivia shrugs a little. “I don’t usually.” She pauses, looking back and forth between Alex’s eyes. “I don’t really like it.”

Alex raises her brows. She turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” she points out. Then she turns back to Olivia with a smirk.

Olivia blinks for a second, then chuckles a bit. “Well. Guess my hair won’t be straightened for long.”

With that, they rush outside into the rain.

The new song playing is loud enough for them to hear, even outside. The outside part of the venue is deserted now, everyone having retreated inside to take shelter from the rain. Olivia lets the rain soak her hair, shaking it out every once in a while to make sure it would get its texture back. She didn’t exactly have curly hair, but straightening it was enough to get rid of any volume. She shakes her hair out like a dog, making Alex laugh.

“You’re beautiful,” the ex-ADA says. She’s leaning against a post in a mostly dry area. Her arms are crossed in that usual ADA pose, but the tender smile contrasts against that. She blushes a little after realizing what she’d said, but she doesn’t take it back.

Olivia looks up at her with a smile. “So are you,” she replies, giving it no second thought. She gives her hair one last shake with her hand before walking over to Alex.

The song playing inside sounded like a chill romantic song with a fuzzy sounding guitar and sappy lyrics. Olivia leans against Alex, watching the people slow dancing around in that room. She notes to herself that Carisi and Rollins were shyly dancing together.

Alex leans closer to Olivia, linking their hands together. “I wouldn’t mind dancing with you,” she whispers, even though no one could possibly hear them.

Olivia glances up at her, then whisks her out into the rain. She dutifully places her hands on Alex’s hips and straightens her back. “You’ve asked, and I oblige.”

Alex snorts a little. “Can’t we do this somewhere dry? ”

“Nope!” Olivia says, popping the ‘p’. She smiles, that flirty smile where she wrinkles her nose a little and sticks her tongue out between her teeth. “Makes it more romantic, doesn’t it? Now put your hands on my shoulders and dance with me Cabot.”

The ex-ADA grumbles, but ultimately places her hands on Olivia’s shoulders. The pair step in time with not only the music but also each other. They go back and forth, then a few steps back before one forward and so on. Olivia also takes the opportunity to get Alex to spin whenever she can, which earns her an exasperated sigh from Alex’s part. They don’t pay attention when the song switches. Their gazes lock, and don’t move away. Olivia stays mesmerized by Alex’s eyes, how the dimmed lights around them and the moonlight plays against her blue irises.

By the time Olivia finally dips Alex and makes her spin for the last time, they’re both soaked to the bone and cold. Alex wipes the raindrops from her glasses and sighs. “Well, that was fun.”

Olivia raises her brows. “Makes you feel like you’re in Highschool again, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Alex laughs. “Except in Highschool I was dating some jerk and not a wonderful woman like you.”

Olivia makes a face, rolling her eyes a little. “It’s hard to find someone like me.”

Alex scoffs a little. “Is it?”

Olivia gasps, mocking shock or offense. She playfully punches Alex’s shoulder before bursting with laughter. Alex laughs too, smiling and gazing at Olivia through narrowed eyes.

Later in the evening, Olivia had had a few drinks stronger than her usual glass of red wine. She sits beside Amanda, laughing and snorting with the detective. She brought out the ridiculous side of Benson, and Olivia relished in seeing Amanda roll her head back and laugh. She had such a pleasing laugh.

“So,” Olivia smirks, “you and Carisi?”

Even in the party lights Olivia can see that Amanda’s cheeks have gotten a few shades redder. She looks away, pursing her lips. “I have nooo idea what you’re talkin’ about.” She sends a little look at Olivia which the captain takes to mean as ‘I do, but I’m not saying anything yet!’. Olivia nods, smirking.

Amanda leans forward, and now it’s her turn to smirk at Olivia. “What about you and that ADA, huh? Alex, was it?”

And now it’s Olivia’s turn to blush. She sighs, sending a side-eye to Amanda. “Uh huh. There’s nothing.”

“Aww come on Liv!” Amanda laughs a little, leaning closer to Olivia. “Everyone saw you two romantically dancin’ in the rain. You looked like you were on cloud nine.”

Olivia doesn’t respond, only gives Amanda a pointed look.

“I’ll take that as ‘something is definitely going on but I’m not telling my best friend because I suck!’ How ‘bout that, huh?” Amanda snaps, then snickers. Olivia joins in too, giggling and grabbing onto Amanda like she’s about to fall.

Olivia breathes out in an attempt to calm herself down. “I could say the same about you!” she snaps, glaring at Amanda for only a moment before laughing again. Amanda kicks her legs a little, cackling and slapping her thigh.

“Well, you two are certainly having fun,” Carisi says as he cruises over, smiling at the pair. “May I ask what’s so funny?” He sits down beside Amanda, lacing an arm around her shoulders. Olivia sends a look to Amanda, but holds her tongue.

Amanda wipes the tears from her eyes, taking some of her mascara with it. “Oh, nothing,” she says simply. Her eyes twinkle in the mirrorball’s light, and they gleam with affection as she looks at Carisi.

Olivia sighs, leaning back. Her mind’s comfortably fuzzy from the alcohol, and the lights around her take on a dreamy appearance. She listens to the pair beside her absentmindedly chat, closing her eyes and breathing in the stale air. She almost wishes she was in the countryside to breathe in the sweet smells of grass and flowers, but this will do.

Her thoughts are broken by Amanda grabbing her, placing her arms around her and Carisi’s shoulder. “I love you guys,” she mumbles, then sniffles. Amanda was a sentimental drunk.

Carisi smiles at her, and Olivia just gently pats her shoulder. Frankly the captain was starting to get a little tired, and her eyelids felt heavy.

Alex cruises over to her, sitting down beside her. She wordlessly raises a brow at Olivia, as if asking if she was okay. Olivia nods, although she leans up against Alex and rests her head on the ex-ADA’s shoulder.

The pop music playing now seems more like a lullaby. The laughter and voices are simply part of the music, which she doesn’t really register. Her eyes close, and her mind drifts off. Alex’s fingers caressing her shoulder, running up and down the slope of her neck every once in a while, send shivers across her skin.

Olivia’s mind conjures up a vision of Alex in her apartment, loose and undone. She’s holding a glass of wine, legs crossed but she’s sprawled out on the couch. Her heels are thrown to the side. Her hair is messy and her makeup is a little smudged. Her black dress is hiked up to halfway up her thighs, exposing her long legs plopped in the cushions. She’s laughing, that beautiful laugh for when no one else is around. Her eyes are half-lidded and seductive almost. One of the straps of her dress is falling over her shoulder, exposing some more of her pale skin.

Suddenly, it occurs to Olivia just how much she wants to take Alex home.

She desperately wants to feel the ex-ADA’s skin against her own, feel her warmth or her breath against her ears where she whispers sweet nothings. She wants all of the domestic things, the wine glasses on the counter and the double amount of clothes in her dresser. She desperately wants to see Noah cuddled up between the two of them, maybe with a cat curled in the crook of his arms. She desperately wants to spend the rest of her days with Alex, coming home to her arms and sleeping beside her.

Olivia can’t ignore it anymore. She can’t push down her feelings. As she flutters her eyes open for a moment and looks up at Alex, traces the slopes of her side profile, she just knows. She’s in love with her.

Okay- maybe Olivia needs to slow down a bit. Sure, she did have feelings for Alex, and she couldn’t just ignore the fact that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her, but maybe it wasn’t love.

Love was a big word. Love means commitment. Love means a stable relationship. Love means opening your stomach and spilling your guts for the other person, letting them inspect the ugliest parts of you. It means being okay with disagreements, problems and fights. It means having someone see you at your worst and praying they still love you. It means risking your life for someone in some ways. It also means being ready for the other person to get up and leave at any moment, which Alex had a quite bad habit of doing. It means being open, fully and open heartedly.

Olivia was quite the opposite of that. Despite being a cop, and having been a cop for most of her life, she disliked conflict (well, only sometimes…). Most of the time, conflict was necessary. When Rollins pissed her off, they needed to have discussions about it and that often devolved into fights. However, she didn’t like when her romantic partners fought with her. She didn’t like having to smooth out wrinkles when she was tired from a long day or trying to relax. Cassidy had been insufferable like that: constantly rebutting and arguing with her.

Olivia was also the opposite of the word open. She avoided anything that had to do with her feelings. No one could get her to open up, not unless she felt safe, loved and cared for. She even avoided talking about certain things to her therapist, lying so he wouldn’t press her about Stabler. She remembers when Amaro would try to get her to talk, and she would just shut him down immediately because the thought of talking to him made her ill.

She also just didn’t like the idea of someone constantly being around for her, seeing her for who she truly was. Sure, Noah was always around, but he was getting to be a teenager. He mostly stayed in his room, or he was at school or dance class. He didn’t really notice when Olivia was curled in her room, sobbing because she was convinced William Lewis was back in her room to get her. If he did, she just dismissed him. But a romantic partner wouldn’t let that go so easily. They wouldn’t look past the fact she still woke up in a cold sweat from nightmares.

Yet, somehow, for some odd and crazy reason, when Olivia puts Alex in Cassidy or Tucker’s place, it doesn’t seem as scary.

She pictures Alex frowning, but gently walking toward her and pulling her into her arms, whispering it was okay. Despite being a lawyer, she wouldn’t immediately demand answers and argue it was better for Olivia to open up. She would just listen to Olivia if she wanted to talk, or listen to her breathing if she didn’t want to talk. She would run her hands through Olivia’s hair in the way she loved, curling the strands around her fingers.

She would kiss her face, her lips, and say she loved her. Words that Olivia longed to hear, that men somehow needed to spit out through gritted teeth in a fight, instead of saying it softly while cooking, or insisting it when Olivia didn’t believe them. Alex would say it all the time, to her and Noah, in all the ways that were pleasant to hear.

Alex would understand her better than anyone else. She would run her hands up and down her back when OIivia cried, and debate with her when Olivia argued, and whisper when Olivia fell asleep. She would love her fully, unconditionally, in the only way Olivia could believe it. Alex would grab Olivia’s shoulders, even when she would snap and insult because she felt vulnerable, look into the captain’s eyes, the captain who was her girlfriend and lover first and captain of SVU second, and firmly say ‘I love you, Olivia.’ She would say it until Olivia believed her. She would say it until the end of time.

Olivia opens her eyes again.

The crowd of dancers has thinned out, and the music playing has shifted to slower, more romantic songs. Rollins is still beside her, pressed against Carisi, silent now as she overlooks Fin and Phoebe. Elliot lingers somewhere in the corners of the room, looking miserable. Olivia doesn’t like thinking about how empty life would feel to him after losing Kathy. She doesn’t like thinking about Kathy, period.

Alex’s fingers still trace the slope of her neck, now moving to touch the corner of her jaw. The touch sends a warm feeling through Olivia’s being. She huffs, heaving herself from Alex’s shoulder. Alex’s hand follows her movements to rest on her back.

“Are you getting tired?” Alex asks, practically in a whisper.

“Yeah.” Olivia pauses, looking around quickly. Rollins looks asleep. Elliot is looking away. Fin is busy dancing. She turns back to Alex and leans closer to her. “Do you wanna come back to my place?”

Alex blinks, looking a little surprised. Her cheeks are flushed in a delicious red color. She stammers a little before finally responding. “Sure.”

Olivia takes her hand, standing slowly and creeping over to where their coats were splayed on the back of a chair. She grabs them and quickly ushers toward the exit. They make it outside and hurry out of the venue before they’re spotted, putting their coats on in the process. They finally make it to OIivia’s car and slam the doors closed.

Alex laughs a little. “Did they seriously not see us?”

Olivia grins. “Nope,” she says with a playful tone while twisting the key and starting the engine.

When the door to Olivia’s apartment opens, Noah is waiting on the other side. He’s dressed in a t-shirt Olivia had lent him and his colorful pajama pants. He’s smiling, his curly hair falling in front of his eyes. He needed a haircut.

Olivia lets Alex in and closes the door. As she leans down to crouch and hug Noah as she usually did, he blinks and turns to look at Alex. “Hello,” he says.

Thankfully, Noah was pretty okay with strangers. He was used to people popping into the apartment and discussing with his mother for lengthy hours. He was used to meeting her coworkers and seemed to quite like some of them. However, in the way his brow was furrowed, she knew that he thought it was strange someone was over so late.

Alex, on the other hand, looks insanely uncomfortable. She’s standing stiffly, sending glances to Olivia and awkwardly smiling at Noah. Olivia almost wants to laugh. She turns to look back at Noah, rubbing his shoulder.

“Who are you?”

The question sounds a little defensive, but Olivia just chuckles. “Noah,” she says in what’s meant to be a scolding tone, but it sounds much too gentle.

Alex takes in a breath. “I’m Alexandra Cabot,” her hand twitches slightly when she usually would’ve handed it out for a handshake, “nice to meet you.”

Noah squints. “Do you work with my mom?”

“Yes,” she nods slowly, sending a look to Olivia, “well, it’s a complicated story.”

Noah seems satisfied and smiles again. “I’m Noah. Nice to meet you too.”

Olivia smiles, landing a kiss on his cheek and taking off her coat. She hangs it on the coat hanger, then gently removes Alex’s coat from her to hang it as well. The sight of it on the coat hanger sends a little shock in Olivia’s heart.

“How was Fin’s wedding?” Noah asks, moving to go sit on the couch.

Olivia walks over to the sink. “Great.” Alex hangs by the door, eyes looking over the apartment. Olivia washes her hands. “He’s very happy,” she says with a smile.

Noah hums. “Alexandra,” he chirps in that beautiful voice of his, “come sit on the couch!”

“Oh,” Alex blinks, then shyly goes over to sit beside Noah, legs crossed dutifully while her hands rest folded on her thighs, in that usual office pose. Olivia can’t get over the fact she’s still so much like a prosecutor.

Noah tilts his head as he looks at her, examining her. “What do you do? Are you a lawyer?”

Olivia comes and sits over on the sofa chair that faces the couch.

Alex nods. “I was. I worked with your mom and put bad people in jail.”

Noah smiles. “I could tell. Mom used to have a lawyer friend that came over, and he sat like that on the couch.”

Alex rose her brows, looking over at Olivia and smirking. “Really? So I’m not the first lawyer your mother has brought home?”

Noah laughs. “No, but she hasn’t done that in a while.”

“Tell me Noah, did you hear them saying anything? Maybe any sounds from her roo-”

Olivia gasps. “ Alex! “

Alex laughs a little. “Sorry. Don’t answer that,” she says to Noah, her cheeks now a pretty pink.

Noah blinks, looking over to Olivia with furrowed brows. He looks absolutely confused. A few beats of silence pass, which is spent with Alex trying to stifle her laughter in her fist. Olivia just smiles innocently, before finally standing and walking over to Noah.

“Maybe you should go to bed honey,” she says softly.

He pouts his lower-lip. “Moooom.”

Olivia squints at him. “It’s almost midnight. Usually, you shouldn’t even have been up to wait for me.”

He finds no rebuttal and just slouches into the couch, crossing his arms. Olivia ruffles his hair, then grabs him into an embrace before lifting him off of the couch. He giggles a little, waving his legs around. She manages to carry him over to the hallway before letting go, huffing. He grins, running over to his room. Olivia follows after him, sending a look to Alex.

Olivia’s vision from earlier seems to be coming true. Alex is sprawled on her couch, holding a glass of red wine and swirling its contents while she tells a story, a small smirk playing on her lips as she nears the punchline. Olivia’s changed into a more comfortable black slip dress with no bra. Her head is leaned back against the couch and she admires the beautiful woman at her side, eyes twinkling.

Alex pauses, squinting her eyes and pushing her glasses further up her nose. “What?”

Olivia just grins, wrinkling her nose. “Nothing.”

Alex huffs, but says nothing. She takes a sip of her wine, then looks back toward Olivia with a new glint in her eye. Olivia wants to say it’s almost flirty, but it could also be the wine Olivia has been shoving down her throat.

Before Alex can open her mouth, Olivia leans closer to her and takes the glass from her hand. “Give me some,” she says, her voice now a low whisper. With that, she gulps down the rest and pours a fresh glass.

Alex laughs a little, folding her legs so Olivia can inch closer. “Are you even drunk?” she asks, propping her elbow on the sofa and leaning her cheek against her hand.

“Very,” Olivia says, then snorts as she scoots as close to Alex as she possibly can. Alex takes the glass back and slowly sips on the liquid. Olivia does feel woozy, and her movements feel too slow and too large, but she doesn’t really care. Alex likes it when her tongue gets a little loose anyway.

Alex blinks, her eyes trained on Olivia, that glint in them still gleaming, but she looks a little reserved, as if considering her actions. Olivia imagines she’s not as rigorous as she usually is, with the wine blurring her thoughts, but despite that she still furrows her brows as she stares.

Olivia looks back, a slight smile on her lips, waiting for Alex to move or speak.

A few beats pass. The silence is strangely comfortable. Then, Alex moves forward and gently presses her lips against Olivia’s.

The kiss only lasts a few seconds, it’s barely a peck and it tastes of wine, but Olivia doesn’t mind. She just smiles at Alex, who’s cheeks have gone scarlet red. “What was that for?” The phrasing is a bit strange, but her voice is soft, so Alex just grins in embarrassment.

“Nothing. I just wanted to kiss you,” she mumbles, putting a hand in front of her mouth.

Olivia purses her lips, then scooches forward until she’s straddling Alex, her dress hiked up to her thighs. Alex doesn’t meet her eyes, her lips hidden behind her hand, cheeks red. Olivia gently takes the glass and sets it aside.

Olivia leans down, pressing her hands to either side of Alex’s face. “C’mon, you can do better than that,” she teases, her voice barely above a whisper.

Alex looks up at her now, moving her hand to grab Olivia’s waist.

The second kiss tastes like wine, still, but it sends fireworks across Olivia’s skin. Their lips move perfectly, with just enough tongue and teeth. She relishes in the sounds Alex makes, small quiet moans from the back of her throat. Her hands clutch Olivia’s waist, then move to caress her arms. Olivia’s hand drops to her neck, and the other grabs Alex’s. When Alex’s teeth gently nip her bottom lip, she releases a shuddering sigh.

Olivia frees her lip and moves away, ever so slightly, breathing like she’s run a mile. Alex sighs, kissing her collarbone. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” Olivia slurs, the rush of adrenaline and alcohol making it hard to speak.

Alex chuckles, a low and fluttering sound. “You’re so sappy, Liv,” she says, running her hand up Olivia’s chest and caressing her collarbones.

“It’s the truth,” Olivia hums, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Alex’s pale neck.

Alex gasps, rolling her head back at the contact. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted too.”

Olivia smiles against her skin, rewarding the statement with a few nips against her skin. Alex rolls her head back, sighing with content. Olivia chuckles against her skin, heaving herself back up to gaze at the woman beneath her.

Alex smiles, but her expression darkens a little. She blinks, moving a hand from Olivia to push her glasses up her nose. Finally, she opens her mouth to speak. “Are you sure about this?”

“ You kissed me. I kissed you back. Yes, I’m sure,” Olivia can’t help but offer a kind smile, her fingers absentmindedly running along Alex’s skin.

Alex sits up and Olivia has to shift her position to stay atop her. “What about… you know…” she makes a vague gesture with her hand to make up for her unfinished sentence.

Olivia’s mood sours with a click. She blinks, her brows furrowing. “Jesus Christ, Alex. Do you have to bring this up now?”

Alex frowns. “I don’t want you to do something that can mess up your job. You know that if I ever get caught, you’ll be dragged in for being with me.” She pauses for a moment, and Olivia thinks she’s gonna fall silent because of Olivia’s glare. “Your colleagues wouldn’t like it.”

“I don’t care what they think,” Olivia snaps.

“You should. I know you wouldn’t give me up, but if they start bringing Fin and that ADA Carisi into it, they might not be so kind.” Alex’s hands grip her waist as Olivia starts to move away, rolling her eyes. “Please, Liv, just think about it.”

Olivia huffs. “I have thought about it too many times. I don’t need you to tell me what I already know.”

“I just don’t want you to jeopardize your career for me.”

Olivia swings her legs and stands up swiftly, leaving Alex on the couch and walking over to the kitchen. She pinches her nose bridge, grumbling. “I- I know you’re looking out for me. I get it. But we’ve been tiptoeing around each other for years and I love you so much my chest aches . We’re finally on the cusp of something, finally letting it happen, and you go and worry about me.”

Alex looks at her with those wide blue eyes, her head poking out from behind the couch, and she looks so beautiful.

“I spend all my days worrying about relationships, but with you I can turn my brain off and just feel. Can’t we just do this and think about it later?” Olivia looks at her with what she hopes are pleading eyes.

A few beats of silence pass.

“You love me?” is all Alex chokes out, her cheeks bright red.

Olivia groans. “Is that all you heard?”

Alex scrambles from the couch, hurrying to join her at the counter. “No. Well, yes but no. I heard you.”

She takes Olivia’s hands in hers, lacing their fingers together. Her eyes twinkle in the light, bright and beautiful. “I love you too, Olivia. I worry about you, too. I’m okay with just seeing where this goes, but I’m warning you that if you want this to be serious we’ll have to talk about that.”

Olivia nods, freeing one of her hands and cupping Alex’s cheek, rubbing her thumb under the blonde’s eye. “Just not tonight,” she chirps with a teasing smile.

Alex nods, a soft smile blooming on her face. “Just not tonight,” she agrees.

With that, Olivia catches her lips in hers. Alex hums, smiling against her, her hand finding Olivia’s waist and holding her gently. Olivia’s hand on her face lowers to her neck and jaw, caressing the skin there. Her other hand finds the blonde’s hair. Alex hums as Olivia’s fingers tangle up in her hair.

Olivia gasps as Alex bites her lip, blinking her eyes open to find those blue eyes half-lidded seductively. Olivia giggles a little, suddenly nervous under the ex-ADA’s stare, but she quickly closes her eyes and brings Alex even closer.

They probably stay there a good five minutes, drinking each other in and making out against Olivia’s counter. The feelings in Olivia’s chest are better than anything she’s ever felt, relishing in all the different ways she can make Alex moan. She can tell that Alex loves it, too, because her lips always quirk up in a slight smile when Olivia tries something new. By the end, Olivia has cataloged all of the information in a little folder to use for later.

As their kisses get more intense, and their breaths start coming in a little heavier, Alex grabs her dress straps and drags her from the counter, humming against Olivia’s lips. She moves away, breathing heavily. “Bed, now,” she just says.

They trip over the other’s feet, Olivia eagerly guiding her down the hallway and to her bedroom, which thankfully still had a double bed, all the while kissing and running her hands all over Alex.

She closes the door behind them and moves away from the blonde, only to turn on the lamp beside her bed and to quickly close the blinds. By the time Olivia’s starting to pull her dress off, Alex is already naked on her bed, panting. Olivia joins her in the sheets, laughing at her own eagerness.

Hands running across her skin. Shivers and kisses. Hands tangled in her hair. Quiet whispers and muffled moans. Lips caressing her skin. Anything and everything. Fingers caressing her face.

They fall asleep tangled together, Olivia pressing her lips against Alex’s hair, while the ex-ADA whispered sweet nothings. Olivia giggles quietly, eyes fluttering to a close. Alex kisses her softly. I could get used to this.

Alex wakes up to the sound of laughter, which is something she has probably never experienced in her life.

She’s used to the sound of silence (which for her means the distant sounds of the city, voices and car horns through closed blinds), or her alarm blaring loudly so she physically cannot sleep through it. It’s jarring. It’s enough for her to look around the room, trying to remember where she is. The memories suddenly flood back, and soon she’s blushing and covering her dumb smile with the back of her hand. Right.

She throws her arm out to the side Olivia had slept on, finding it empty. She’d assumed that much, with Olivia having to wake up early and make sure Noah was up. Who’s idea was it to have a wedding on a Sunday?

The laughter drags her from the bed. She raids Olivia’s closet for a hoodie and sweatpants, just so she doesn’t have to go out there completely nude or in her dress from last night.

The kitchen is lively, to say the least. Noah laughs loudly, his head tipped back and his eyes screwed shut, a tear rolling down his cheek. Olivia laughs too, blubbering for words as if she’s trying to get to a punchline. She seems to give up, lowering her head in defeat and resuming whatever activity.

Alex almost feels too shy to join them. Her mind is still reeling from last night, and just seeing Olivia has her face pretty much aflame. Still, with a determined swipe to push up her glasses, she strides into the kitchen.

“Alexandra!” Noah chirps, and she can’t get over how strange it is to hear her name like that. He reaches his hand out in an excited wave, almost dislocating his wrist in the process.

Alex smiles at him. “Hello Noah,” she says warmly.

Olivia practically barrels into her, pressing a kiss on her cheek. Alex blushes like a highschool girl, chuckling awkwardly. Then, just as quickly, Olivia slips by her and offers a cup of hot chocolate to Noah, which he happily takes and sips on.

“Good morning sunshine!” Olivia finally says, turning to the counter and taking a mug from the cupboard. She immediately fills it with coffee, handing it to Alex in an almost theatrical manner. “Black, just like always.”

Alex takes the mug and smiles. “Thanks.” She sips on the liquid, her nose scrunching a little at the bitterness she’ll never exactly get used to. She expects Olivia to make a comment, but the captain just gazes at her with a loving smile.

Noah urges Alex to sit down beside him, so she does. He talks happily about school and his favorite teacher, Mrs Sanson, the English teacher. (Why isn’t she surprised at that?) His blue eyes sparkle with joy, and Alex can’t help but wonder if they look like hers.

Sure, Noah is a foster child, so he’s not directly related to Liv, but something about him painfully reminds her of Olivia. His hair is lighter than hers, but it mirrors the threads of gold laced in her darker hair. His skin isn’t as tan, but it still glows under the sun like hers does. His smile is different, but his laugh sounds like her. His eyes are an entirely different color, but they still shine with that same resilience and life in her eyes.

Still, despite all of that, as his blue eyes are trained on hers, sparkling with stars and joy, she sighs and smiles. Maybe if she was a little happier and less exhausted all the time, they’d look a bit more like hers. Maybe when Liv watches them, she thinks of how their eyes are so similar yet so different. Maybe Noah’s not so different from Alex, in some ways.

Olivia eventually cuts their conversation short by gently reminding Noah that he has school. In less than five minutes, he’s at the door, dressed and prepared to go off into the world. Lucy greets Olivia and Alex, before disappearing with him down the hall.

“He’s lively,” is all Alex says, her brows raised and a smile curling her lips.

Olivia nods with a little exhausted sigh. “Yeah. He likes you, though. He likes when people listen.”

Alex nods slowly. “I guess I like him too.”

Olivia just smiles at her. She looks gorgeous under the morning sun. She’s wearing a baggy t-shirt with some worn graphic Alex assumes used to be a band or something of the sort. The t-shirt hides some small shorts that have probably never seen the outside, but they expose her strong and lean legs.

Alex takes a sip of her coffee to stop her staring.

“You look good in my clothes,” Olivia breaks the silence, now taking Noah’s seat beside Alex, her hands wrapped around the mug in her hands.

Alex blushes, rolling her eyes a little. “I wasn’t gonna walk out here in my dress, was I?”

Olivia smirks, just like she does when she just finds a joke or a pick up line. She leans forward, one of her hands finding Alex’s waist to pull her forward. “If you had, I would’ve had to do something like what we did last night, right here on the counter,” she drawls.

Alex is sure her face has gone beet red. She looks away from those dark eyes bearing into her soul and scrambles to find a reply. “Uh- I’m- I mean-”

Liv shuts her up with a kiss.

It’s gentle, warm like the coffee they were drinking, and it tasted of it too. It feels like the morning around them, and Alex melts into it. She holds her breath, Olivia’s hand caressing her waist sending shivers across her spine.

Olivia moves away with a smile. Her eyelashes flutter, the sun highlighting each of them individually. Alex exhales, taking a shuddering breath. She smiles, chuckling and pressing her forehead against Olivia’s.

They finish their coffee slowly, despite the fact they both had places to be. They laze around, chatting about nothing and everything.

Soon, Alex finds herself in Liv’s bathroom, rummaging around in her makeup drawer to find something even remotely her shade. Olivia hums, pulling on a blazer over a simple white shirt. She laces her arms around Alex’s waist and her head finds the crook between Alex’s neck and her shoulder. Her lips caress over the marks they’d made last night, smoothing over the red skin.

“Instead of giving me more hickeys, try to help me cover them up,” Alex mumbles.

Olivia sighs. “Just go home like this and change into a turtleneck,” she says, nuzzling her nose into Alex’s neck.

Alex huffs. “I know a lot of people in Manhattan. I can’t just waltz around with hickeys on my neck.”

Olivia looks at her in the reflection of the mirror. Alex runs her finger across the red marks on her neck, most of them relatively hidden by the hoodie.

“You aren’t at the DA’s office anymore,” Olivia says, and Alex can’t tell if there’s some sort of bitterness in her voice.

Alex sends her a look. “That doesn’t mean I’m suddenly a stranger to them.”

There’s a pause Alex spends swatching some concealer on her wrist. Obviously, it’s too warm for her. She huffs, dropping it back where she found it.

“I’m also late. If I could get to work without looking like I haven’t slept in weeks, that’d be nice,” Alex adds a little pointedly.

Olivia just hums against her, her eyes closed in a peaceful expression. Alex sighs, settling on using some blush and mascara from Olivia’s drawer to try and make her look somewhat put together. Once she’s put way too much blush on and the mascara is barely noticeable from behind her glasses, she puts the makeup back in their designated spots before closing the drawer and waddling from the bathroom with Olivia still hooked onto her.

She gathers her things, taking one of Olivia’s totebags and stuffing her dress inside, as well as her purse. She swipes on some of her favorite lip gloss, fiddles with the hood of her hoodie until it’s hiding most of the marks on her neck. Finally, she wears the shoes from last night.

Olivia doesn’t let go of her until she’s opened the door, watching Alex standing in the doorway, hesitating.

“This was fun,” Alex says, a vague sense of deja-vu enveloping her.

Olivia nods, a bittersweet smile on her lips. “Can I ask you something?”

Alex blinks, furrowing her brows a little bit. “Yeah, of course.”

“Don’t leave.”

There’s a pause.

“Don’t make this be the last time I see you for another year. I miss you, Alex. I love you. I can’t stand wondering if this’ll be the last time I’ll see you,” Olivia clarifies, her brows and eyes pleading. “Please. Say you’ll stay.”

Alex watches her. There’s another, longer pause. She can tell how with each heartbeat that passes, Olivia’s eyes darken a little more.

“Okay,” Alex nods. “I’ll stay.”

She takes Olivia’s face in her hands. “I love you too,” she whispers, before catching Olivia’s lips in hers.

Olivia hums, her lips curling in a small smile against Alex’s. Her hands instinctively find Alex’s waist, and soon they’re locked in an embrace Alex doesn’t want to run away from. Olivia kisses her jaw, then buries her face in Alex’s neck. Alex leans her cheek against Olivia’s hair, and suddenly the fact that she’s late doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

I could get used to this.