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Chapter Text

ALTERNATE *SOLARBALLS (2022)* UNIVERSE 418RHEATETHYS814

DECEMBER 2006AZ:

The Sun stared at Luna and Titan suspiciously. “Hmm…is it just me, or is the defense of the moons’ side very inclined to defend one of the planets?”

Not that I’m complaining or anything, but I was just curious. As long as they discuss their own side primarily, then it’s fine. He thought to himself.

The two satellites turned away in embarrassment at the moons’ dissatisfied expressions.

“Okay then it is the turn for the actual defense of the planets to step in. PLANETS!” Sol announced.

Mercury and Venus stepped forward.

“Okay pipsqueak—for once, let’s just get along, okay?” The smaller planet nodded in agreement.

“Don’t do anything idiotic,” Aphrodite pointed out, which made Mercury frown in agitation.

“Are you kidding me right now?!” he exclaimed.

Really guys? You’re doing this now? Mars gave them a deadpan look.

“Ahem!” Venus cut him off, facing the Sun. “The statements of the moons are correct. All of those things did happen. And as Titan and Luna said, the Earth said that from a place of insecurity, and the matter has been resolved.”

“If anything, the Earth has already paid a heavy price for his misconduct, but that’s up to the Earth to discuss,” Mercury stated, which confused his planetary neighbour while the third planet bowed his head in shame.

This time, Titan moved forward, his core filled with nerves. “Can I say something? I don’t really think discussing the Moon Revolution is worth it. We actually wanted to address the reason why the revolution happened. Us moons felt — ”

But the Sun didn’t want to hear it. “Not worth it?! In billions of years, moons and planets have lived in harmony! And now I find out there was a revolution UNDER MY NOSE! Stay quiet or you’ll be sanctioned, Titan!” he shrieked before shifting his expression to politeness. “Now please! Continue, Mercury.”

The nearest planet cleared his throat. “Oh, okay. As I was saying…”

Callisto bobbed her head sideways, telling the other moons to regroup while Mercury explained the whole situation.

She sighed. “Okay, can we agree this is not working?”

Titan furrowed his brows. “What is it?”

“You two,” the violet moon huffed. “You spent most of your time defending the Earth, and you are too eager to move the conversation elsewhere. That’s up to the Sun!”

“I-I know. I’m sorry,” the yellowish green moon apologized.

“I agree with Callisto,” Titania chimed in. “We may need different representatives if we’re to win this.”

“Wait what?” Titan gawked at her.

“I-I-I believe Ganymede and Europa should take it from here,” the most active volcanic moon suggested.

“Phew! You’re right Io,” the densest atmospheric satellite replied sarcastically.

“C-C-C-Come on! They convinced everyone to join the revolution. They can be persuasive!” Io countered.

Callisto groaned. “I hate to say this but—I agree.” Turning to Ganymede and Europa, she asked, “Can you two take it from here?”

The largest satellite smiled deviously. “We will do our best.”

“Yeah, leave it to us,” Europa supplied.

With satisfied nods, the satellites hovered forward before screeching to halt once someone else decided to speak up.

“Um…” a sweet female voice began tentatively. “Can—can I say something?”

The other moons (minus Tethys) gaped at her.

“Wait, Rhea?” Jupiter’s smallest Gallilean moon blinked in surprise.

“Yeah, that’s me. Hi,” she confirmed with a timid smile.

“Oh boy…” The male revolutionary rolled his eyes. “Make it quick. We don’t have much time.”

“Really Ganymede?” Callisto scolded him.

“What?” he said defensively.

“It’s okay, we’re all teammates here. Go ahead Rhea,” she advised with a polite smile.

“Thanks. I uh…w-we talked about it and um…I think Tethys and I should represent the moons,” Saturn’s second-largest moon proposed.

Everyone else stared at her, especially Ganymede and Europa.

“I’m sorry, what?” the female revolutionary exhaled.

“Yeah—what she said,” Jupiter’s largest moon murmured. “I thought Rhea didn’t talk.”

Europa snorted at his forgetfulness. “I think you’re mistaking her for Umbriel.”

“Either way, she barely says anything,” Ganymede shrugged.

“Oh thank goodness,” Titan blurted out in relief.

Both moons scoffed at him, claiming he didn’t actually care as long as it wasn’t themselves.

“I think that’s a great idea. Rhea, you and Tethys should definitely represent us,” Luna agreed. “More voices should be heard.”

“Absolutely,” Miranda concurred.

“I vote for Rhea and Tethys instead!” Deimos said happily.

“I’m sorry—are we chopped liver now?” Ganymede flailed his hands.

“Yeah, I thought we agreed it would be us,” Europa reminded them, pointing towards herself and her partner-in-crime.

“Says the moons who attacked out planet!” Deimos accused them, anger seeping through his craters.

The culprits flinched in response, causing Phobos to scowl. “Uh…Deimos? Are you sure this a good time — ”

“I don’t care, Phobos! They hurt Mars! Our brother! Our best friend! How could they do that?!” Deimos nearly screamed in anguish. “I thought I could forgive them for what they did, but I can’t! I’m done pretending everything is okay when it’s not! So might as well admit it, bro—it’s all their fault! And I’m sick and tired of supporting them!”

His older twin blinked in confusion. “But technically the others were also involved — ”

“You say that as if they had free will, but they were forced to!” the smaller Martian moon declared frustratedly. “You and I both know they had their doubts, but Ganymede and Europa literally threatened their lives if they didn’t continue to comply!”

“Now that I think about it, he’s right,” Galatea finally admitted. “They did.”

“Exactly! They were so mean!” Larissa whined.

“And they did threaten the lives of their orbital partners—Io and Callisto,” Despina recalled. “So yeah, I vote for Rhea and Tethys.”

Phobos ultimately gave in. “You know what? You guys have a point. Rhea and Tethys get my vote since Ganymede and Europa attacked our planet. So screw them!”

“Yes!” Deimos approved. “What took you so long?”

“Shut up!” His twin giggled, shoving him playfully.

“Us too!” Neptune’s remaining satellites beamed.

“Me three,” Luna supported.

Triton adjusted his sunglasses, smiling at the two representative candidates. “If my little sibs are happy with this, then so am I. Go for it.”

“Oh, um…th-thank you,” Tethys responded shyly.

The others bobbed their heads silently.

“Well then…I guess it’s settled,” Titan smirked at the two candidates who recently lost their dream position. “Any objections?”

Ganymede and Europa clenched their teeth, but said nothing and moved to the side, reluctantly allowing their soon-to-be ex-friends to pass, led by Saturn’s second and fifth-largest moons.

Approaching their parent star once again, Luna said, “There’s uh—there’s been a change of plans lately.”

The Sun was genuinely surprised. “There has?”

“Yep! From now on, Rhea and Tethys will represent the moons!” Deimos celebrated.

Ganymede and Europa rolled their eyes jealously as the new representatives came forward and greeted the Sun respectfully.

“Well, this was unexpected,” the yellow dwarf stated. “But I digress! Rhea and Tethys—are you two certain you will represent the moons with fairness?”

“Uh…w-well um…” the smaller moon stammered nervously.

“We promise we’ll try,” the bigger moon translated, quietly reassuring her brother that she could handle most of the talking if needed.

The Sun nodded briefly. “Then I will allow the change. Let the Solar System Trials continue!”

Cue the majority of moons and planets glaring at each other, determined to win.

30 seconds passed before the star commenced. “So, based on everything that I’ve heard, the Moon Revolution began when the Earth insulted Titan due to his own insecurities. This led to Titan planning his revenge?”

“That would be correct,” Rhea confirmed.

The green moon gaped at her. “Uh…”

“What?! That’s not what we discussed!” Europa squawked. “Sun, whatever Mercury and Venus told you — ”

“Ahem!” the Sun interrupted her. “Unless Rhea or Tethys give you explicit permission to speak, you will remain silent!” Clearing his throat, he smiled courteously at the satellites’ representatives. “Alright then—please give me the context, moons.”

Chapter Text

SAME DAY:

“Right, um…so after the incident with Earth, Titan discovered he had the potential for life, but um…things went south from there,” Tethys explained quickly.

Rhea frowned sadly. “Unfortunately, he did kidnap an innocent Earthling to retrieve that information. According to Luna, his name was AstroDude—an astronaut who worked for the National Aeronautics & Space Administration, located in a Terran country called the United States of America.”

The densely atmospheric moon suddenly choked on his own spit, thoughts scrambled. At this rate, he would undoubtedly be in the doghouse by the end of the trial. Looking sideways, he felt a sense of betrayal when he spotted the three Inner Moons smiling proudly, giving both reps an invisible thumbs-up.

Regardless, the sweet-tempered moon continued. “Titan felt insulted and humiliated by Earth’s words that he wasn’t thinking straight when he plotted revenge against him. Because in all my years I’ve known Titan, he wasn’t like that before. He used to be so kind and forgiving, always looking after us—Saturn’s moons. So this abrupt change in demeanor was—scary.”

Rhea shuddered at the last word, causing the green satellite to bow his head in guilt. Was she right? In his extremely insecure stupor, did he go too far? Was AstroDude permanently traumatized because of him?

Is that what the term is? Probably…

Oh who was Titan kidding? Of course he was! The poor Earthling must’ve had a family back home who was worried sick about his disappearance and almost lost their loved one forever—all because Titan couldn’t let go of one petty insult. And frankly, the moon felt immense guilt eating up his insides.

It wasn’t just AstroDude’s family he owed an apology to. At one point, before his reverse-metamorphosis, Titan was willing to destroy quintillions of blameless lifeforms on the watery planet. Not only humans (who were admittedly the primary cause of Earth’s pain)—but other animals, plants, fungi, bacteria, archaea, and so on.

Tears collected in his eyes at the mere thought of losing himself to the monster within, which would’ve become a reality if Earth hadn’t apologized to him in the first place. Honestly, all he wanted to do right now was throw up, but he couldn’t. Now was not the time, therefore Titan resumed listening to representative moons’ explanations.

Rhea’s expression became desolate and remorseful. “Regardless, the culprits claimed the revolution wasn’t a violent act, but a desperate one. And at first—we believed them. Titan believed them. I—I believed them, and I was fool to do so. Because it was an act of violence. There’s no point in denying it anymore.”

Breathing deeply, she added, “As soon as we realized the revolution had gone too far, the rest of us wanted out, but we were forced to stay, as our own lives were threatened by our former leaders. We either remained by their side, or we’d die just like the planets. Perhaps they weren’t thinking straight either, or even acting like themselves. But we were too scared to oppose them.”

Jupiter’s smallest Galilean satellite gritted her teeth. “Is she seriously selling us out?! And twisting our words?! Whose side is she on?!” she spat angrily.

“You just realized that now?” the biggest moon scoffed in annoyance.

All of a sudden, Deimos came forward. “Permission to speak?”

The Sun glanced at their representatives. “That depends. Rhea? Tethys?”

They both nodded in response.

“Then I will allow it,” the yellow dwarf sighed. “Deimos, can you clarify what Rhea meant by the culprits believing the revolution was out of despair rather than violence?”

“What Rhea said couldn’t be more true,” the smaller Martian moon growled. “It was a fucked-up situation overall.”

Phobos recoiled at his little brother’s tone—not that he hadn’t heard Deimos curse before. But right now his twin was really angry, and the latter was classified as the happier twin!

“Since AstroDude discovered a lifeform in one of Titan’s underground oceans, the moons found out some of them could potentially have life too since they also have water on their surfaces,” Deimos elaborated. “That’s why the perpetrators deluded themselves into thinking the revolution wasn’t born out of violence when it clearly was.”

“And who were the culprits that manipulated Titan and the other moons into joining them?” the Sun demanded, turning 90° to the left. “Planets, care to explain?”

“Oh I’d love to,” Mercury drawled sardonically, which Venus appreciated. “It was Ganymede and Europa.”

“What the fuck?!” the Sun shrieked.

“Y-Yeah. While their intentions were somewhat understandable, their actions weren’t. First they attacked Mars and Venus, then they tried to eliminate all life on Earth and nearly succeeded,” the smallest planet disclosed. “But thankfully their plan didn’t work.”

The main-sequence star planted an intense glare at the two perpetrators. “Ganymede? Europa? How did you respond to these allegations? Were Rhea and Mercury right? Were you behind all of these attacks?”

“I…” Europa deflected. “Yes, we were. Since the space cat is out of the space hat, might as well confess.”

Titan was taken aback by her statement. “Wait, they’re not denyin’ it?”

Luna narrowed his brows in a skeptical fashion. “Apparently…”

“Ahem! I am expecting an explanation from you two!” the Sun ordered.

Now it was Ganymede’s turn. “Well for me, I’ve always wanted to be a leader. I am the biggest moon and I’ve always looked up to Jupiter. Maybe I’ve been a bit insecure about it because I felt like I could never be like Jupiter.”

“Guess we all have our own insecurities then…” Earth hummed in deep thought, which caught the largest moon’s attention as he flashed a tiny smile.

“I’m still waiting for an explanation!” the yellow dwarf commanded impatiently.

“When I met Titan, I saw a chance to be the leader I always wanted to be. He seemed like someone I could partner up with and do something good for the Solar System. And when I heard how the Earth had treated Titan, I came up with the plan to attack the Earth,” Ganymede confessed.

“Oh yeah, that’s totally leader material!” Deimos shouted sarcastically. “The way you — ”

“Ahem! Deimos, I understand your problem with him, but wait your turn,” the Sun cut him off before turning back to Ganymede. “Now what about Titan’s involvement? How did you manipulate him into joining your cause?”

The satellite rolled his eyes dramatically. “Manipulate him? Pfft! That was the easy part, and yet he was weak and just played along. His plan of action was a strike that ultimately wouldn’t change a thing. We had to make a statement.”

The Sun remained disappointed. “But why attack a planet with life? What was the point in doing so? And why attack Mars and Venus as well?”

Europa scoffed for the millionth time. “If moons have been destroyed by planets in the past, and moons can have life, then we could be talking about billions of living species destroyed by the planets. How was what we did any different? And for the second part, initially we wanted Mars and Venus as allies, but they refused to join us, therefore we felt forced to attack them.”

“Uh, excuse me?” Phobos’ younger twin waves his hands in the air. “Fellow representatives, I’d like permission to speak!”

“Permission granted,” Rhea smiled as Tethys did the same, albeit quietly.

“Oh come on!” Europa groaned.

“Hey, you’re the one who confessed, so…” Ganymede reminded her.

“Yeah, thanks for that,” she muttered.

Sighing heavily, the Sun told Deimos, “Alright, go ahead.”

“Thanks! Now first of all, what Europa said just now is complete bullshit! There’s no fucking evidence for any of that, including how Saturn’s rings were formed! That’s just a theory and hasn’t been proven!” the smallest Martian moon proclaimed.

“He’s right,” Rhea supplied. “Also, not all satellites were involved in the revolution—like Luna, Tethys, Laomedeia, and the dwarf planets’ moons—while Phobos, Deimos, and Neptune’s moons didn’t paricipate in any of the attacks. In fact, Charon helped us stop the war along with her own planet, Pluto.”

“We um—we have holographic evidence…if you wanna see it,” Tethys revealed anxiously, which surprised the planets.

“Okay then…let’s see it,” the star declared.

Saturn’s fifth-largest moon hit the PLAY button and began the video.

“Is it just me, or are they actually favoring our side?” Mars whispered.

“Huh—you’re right. It does seem like that,” Earth replied softly. “Wonder why though…”

30 minutes flew by before the Sun instructed Tethys to stop the video.

“Okay, I think I have seen enough for now. And frankly—I need a break. So this calls for a temporary adjournment!” he announced. “In the meantime—moons and planets, feel free to regroup and discuss whatever you need until you return to your designated spots. We will meet again in 45 minutes.”

With that, everyone disbanded.

Chapter Text

SAME DAY:

Callisto led the other moons to the exact same spot where they regrouped last time.

“Okay, I guess that was…yeah,” she exhaled tentatively. “So…any thoughts on how that went so far?”

“Badly,” Europa mumbled irritably.

“Exactly! You should have let us handle it instead of letting those two dumbasses sell us out like that!” Ganymede snarled.

His partner-in-crime facepalmed. “Ganymede…”

“Hey! Don’t call them that, you arsehole!” Hyperion growled.

“I concur!” Enceladus glowered at the biggest moon.

“Yeah! Why are you so mean anyway? That’s not nice!” Larissa scolded the pair.

“Pfft! Why do you care? You guys don’t even share a planet!” Ganymede retorted.

“It doesn’t matter! They’re right. Don’t you dare call ‘em those names again or else!” Titan warned them while Rhea and Tethys ducked their heads in discomfort.

“And let’s be honest—would you two have confessed otherwise?” Luna challenged the perpetrators.

Titan crossed his arms (figuratively). “You heard Luna. Would you?”

“Ugh! Did you forget they outed you too?” the pink moon rolled her eyes, pointing directly at Saturn’s largest moon.

“Of course I remember!” he exclaimed. “And you know what? They were right!”

That caught everyone off-guard.

“They were right…” he repeated more calmly. “For a brief moment in my life, I became the one thing I swore I wouldn’t become—not just a bully, but a monster.” His voice cracked on the last word.

Mimas tilted his head and held up his fingers. “That’s actually two things.”

“Not helping,” Dione mouthed.

“Titan…” Rhea sadly whispered, conflicted by that statement. “I…”

“Let’s not beat around the bush anymore. Because I was, Rhea! I was a monster!” he admitted. “But now I’m just a coward who didn’t even bother to apologize to…to millions of innocent Earthling species! And I would’ve been responsible! Me!”

Titan laughed humorlessly. “What was I thinkin’? As if the planets would’ve respected us afterwards, let alone Earth! No…they would’ve murdered us. Well maybe not you guys, but definitely me, Ganymede, and Europa. And guess what? They would have every right to do so!”

Shaking his head, he continued. “But who am I kiddin’? If anything, the planets wouldn’t stoop down to our level. ‘Cause unlike us, they’re not violent or dangerous simply ‘cause they’re bigger than us. They handled things logically and peacefully, whereas we did the exact opposite. We let our emotions cloud our judgement—but that was mostly me.”

“Ganymede and Europa were objectively worse,” Deimos blurted out nonchalantly.

The former glared at him. “We’re standing right here!”

Mars’ outer moon shrugged. “Don’t care.”

“Were they though?” Titan tested. “Were they any worse than I was?”

“Well—yeah,” Phobos pursed his lips. “Deimos isn’t wrong. Unlike them, at least your intentions weren’t all bad, even though your actions were shitty. And it’s not like you attacked our planet…or Venus. Even though you wanted to hurt Earth at one point, you didn’t. Instead, you accepted his apology, got over your own insecurities, and protected him.”

“That doesn’t apply to most of us though…” Titania added regretfully.

“Our weapons were way too small now that I think about it. It wouldn’t have done any lasting damage—being burned up in Earth’s atmosphere. And it didn’t seem like the three rocky planets were mad at us per sé—just Ganymede and Europa. Yet those two carried the most colossal asteroids they could find,” Miranda recalled.

“What the hell are you talking about?! They were small!” Europa retaliated. “It’s not like they were hundreds of kilometers wide!”

“Oh please! You wanted them dead!” Callisto accused her with pure disgust in her voice. “In fact, you forced us not to stop until they were!”

“So? You guys complied at first!” Ganymede retorted.

“Like Rhea said…we were too scared to disobey you,” Titania reasoned.

“Yeah! And besides, you two were pretty much always prejudiced against the planets and secretly felt superior to them rather than inferior like both of you claimed, so the Sun might classify your violent acts as hate crimes!” Deimos grinned.

Ariel was genuinely impressed. “Wow! You should become a lawyer.”

The smaller Martian moon shook his head. “Eh…it’s not really for me, but thanks!”

Yet Titan was utterly confused. “Then won’t I also get punished for committing a hate crime? Or at least associating with it?”

“Well…here’s the thing,” Luna spoke up. “For you, it wasn’t about discrimination. It was about equality, justice, and vengeance. But you went about it the wrong way, especially the latter part. Same with the others, but they were either super-confused about what was happening or fearing for their lives. Ganymede and Europa on the other hand…yeah. It was undoubtedly a hate crime.”

“Oh for god’s sake! It wasn’t a hate crime!” the male revolutionary protested. “For billions of years, the moons have always felt inferior and fearful towards the planets because of their massive size. So what other options did we have — ”

“See? There you go again with those goddamn excuses!” Earth’s satellite finally snapped. “Stop saying it was inferiority or fear when it was actually dangerous insecurity and hatred coupled with immense prejudice and flat-out bigotry!”

“How dare you say that!” Europa barked. “We are not prejudiced! If anything, the Earth is! He said moons should know their place! Ganymede and I never said that about the planets!”

“What?! Yes you did! You literally said that to their faces as well as us!” Dione argued.

“Yeah!” Luna concurred. “And Earth might’ve been insecure back then and said a completely ignorant statement—I won’t deny that. But at least he apologized for it and became a better person like he was before his short-lived egotistical phase! He acknowledged what happened, regretted his past mistakes, and made up for it!”

“Exactly!” Deimos squeaked enthusiastically. “Right, Rhea?” He suddenly frowned in puzzlement. “Uh…where’d she go?”

“And where is Tethys?” Iapetus wondered. “They were both here a few minutes ago.”

“Well would you look at that?” Ganymede snorted carelessly. “They fled like cowards.”

“Okay that’s it!” Enceladus charged forward before Mimas and Dione restrained him. “What are you guys doing? Let me go!”

“As much as I want to, Enceladus…now’s not the time,” Saturn’s fourth-largest moon sighed.

“Oh come on!” he scowled, no longer aiming at the biggest Solar System moon.

Ten seconds later, Ariel immediately gasped and pointed 45° to her left. “Wait! I see them!”

Europa released an audible scoff. “Are they seriously talking to the planets?”

“Ugh! Go be a whinosaurus somewhere else!” Phobos complained.

Oberon squinted his brows in confusion. “Uh…what’s a whinosaurus?”

While the inner Martian moon answered his question, Titan peered closer as his expression saddened.

“From the looks of it, they’re probably apologizin’ on our behalf for all the pain we caused…” he guessed.

Rewinding several minutes earlier…turns out, his instincts were right on the money. After Titan berated himself to Rhea, she and Tethys hovered away from the group and halted once they caught a glimpse of the planets’ side, where the eight members were having their own meeting.

“Okay, what the fuck just happened?” Venus blurted out.

“For once, I’m with you,” his inner neighbour agreed. “Anyone else open to this conversation?”

The other planets nodded.

“You’re absolutely right, Mercury. This is something we need to discuss,” Mars chimed in.

“Yeah, let’s start with Rhea and Tethys,” Earth proposed.

“Um—who are they again?” Neptune questioned with interest.

Uranus exhaled tiredly. “They’re Saturn’s moons, remember?”

“Uh…kind of…? Not really,” the eighth planet admitted. “I’ve seen them around, especially the green one.”

“His name is Titan,” the ringed gas giant enunciated.

Neptune hummed in deep thought. “Oh yeah…the one who started the revolution?”

“As much as I hate to admit it…yes,” Saturn sighed defeatedly.

The smaller ice giant stroked his chin. “Huh—I see.”

The hottest planet raised his hand. “Well I’ve noticed something.”

Mars furrowed his brows. “Like what?”

“Okay—if any of you guys repeat this to anyone, I’ll shoot atmospheric flares at ya…” Venus pseudo-threatened. “…but I’m glad the moons choose ‘em as their representatives. Rhea and Tethys gave us a huge advantage.”

“Yeah—seems like it was their plan all along. Maybe they agree with us…?” Mercury pointed out.

“Sure, ‘cause that wasn’t obvious from the beginning,” Venus huffed.

“I’m serious!” the tiniest planet shot back.

Mars turned to look at his best friend, mentally jotting down his pensive mood. “Hey Earth, what’s on your mind?”

“I just…” he sighed guiltily. “I dunno why they defended us—defended me of all people even if it wasn’t direct. I mean, I’m the one who literally said moons should…you know…”

“But you instantly regretted it, apologized to the moons, and worked hard to better yourself,” his BFF assured him. “Besides, the others are probably over it by now—Ganymede and Europa aside.”

“Mars is right,” Jupiter pitched in. “It seems like they’re onboard with Rhea and Tethys and don’t condone Ganymede and Europa’s actions.”

Uranus bobbed his head. “It also looks like they genuinely regret the revolution altogether, so this could be a good sign. Not just for our side, but theirs as well. So yeah, I’m all for it mates. Let the healing begin!”

It was then they spotted two of Saturn’s moons anxiously approaching them. The female moon blinked back tears while her little brother wore a repentant expression. Once they introduced themselves, the emotional rollercoaster resumed as sincere apologies were exchanged.

Chapter Text

SAME DAY:

“Ahem! Moons and planets, it’s time to return to your spots!” the Sun announced. “You have two minutes to gather around, so chop-chop!”

They nodded diligently and obeyed his orders—planets on his left while the moons were on his right. Mars quickly gave Tethys a gentle noogie beforehand while Earth shook Rhea’s hand with a genuine smile, having finally made amends with each other.

The parent star clasped his hands together. “Alright everyone—the adjournment is officially over, so the Solar System Trials have now resumed!”

Releasing his hands, Sol cleared his throat and said, “Now first thing’s first! Ganymede and Europa, despite your self-proclaimed motivations, you still intended on harming the planets—specifically the inner ones!”

Jupiter’s biggest satellite hovered forward and scoffed. “Oh, and you haven’t?”

The Sun gawked at him. “Excuse me?!”

Europa winced. “Ganymede — ”

“I mean, you’re one to talk! The other week, you literally reorganized the planets’ orbits like it was no big deal!” he interruped her while his former comrades gasped loudly.

“You shoot solar flares at everyone in the Solar System! You run things like a dictator because you are the biggest celestial body! And even if nobody likes you, they were all forced to play along. So yes, we took action because we were desperate!” Ganymede continued ruthlessly.

Deimos snorted. “Desperate enough to attempt murder — ”

“Shut up, asteroid! I wasn’t talking to you!” the Jovian moon practically spat in his face.

“Deimos…is NOT AN ASTEROID!!” Phobos roared, causing his baby brother to recoil in bewilderment. “And neither am I! We’re natural satellites! As well as Mars’ moons!”

“Yeah! Go Mars and Phobos! Woo hoo!” his twin cheered, which provoked a grateful smile from both of them.

Mimas leaned closer to Iapetus. “The captured asteroid theory hasn’t been proven yet, right?”

“No, not yet,” the yin-yang moon confirmed. “I predict it will be disputed in the near future.”

“Yes, I’ve heard of that. Does anyone remember Nerio?” Hyperion wondered.

“Uh…sort of. She was spherical, right? And then she split into two fragments…?” Enceladus guessed wildly.

“Guys, focus!” Dione hissed at them.

“As I was saying…” Ganymede alerted the group while still facing the Sun. “After everything you made the planets go through, I promise you this story will repeat itself—a planet revolution against you! Maybe in a day, or a year, or several decades — ”

“Ganymede, stop it!” Europa warned him. “You’re not helping — ”

“No! I won’t stop, Europa! The Sun needs to hear this,” he declared. Confronting Sol again, he resumed his threat. “You better mark my words, Sun—because this will happen eventually if you don’t do something about it! Otherwise—before you become unstable and turn into a red giant, we will all turn our backs on you!”

Glaring daggers at the most colossal moon in the Solar System, the yellow dwarf’s expression returned to normal and inhaled sharply.

“I have heard enough! Please step back and let your actual representatives come forward,” he formally instructed.

Grumbling quietly, Ganymede reluctantly followed his orders as Luna signalled Rhea and Tethys to go ahead.

“Planets, you do the same,” the Sun told them calmly as Mercury and Venus mirrored their professional opponents.

“Alright! Onto my second point!” he began. “Planets, you have treated the moons as lower beings than you, and this changes today. You will all improve your relationships with each other, and I don’t want to see something like a Moon Revolution ever again. This goes to both sides! Is that understood?”

“Yes sir!” the moons chanted joyfully.

“Thank you, Sun!” Mercury beamed.

“They…they did it! All five of ‘em!” Titan cheerfully referenced to Luna, Phobos, Deimos, Tethys, and Rhea. “You guys did it!”

Neptune’s non-spherical moons circled around their representatives and primary three supporters, hugging them from each side and shouting, “Hip hip! Hooray!”

“But on the other hand…” Sol diverted their attention after a few minutes. “Moons, while I understand most of you joined the revolution due to Ganymede and Europa indirectly threatening your lives, I must hold you accountable for physically harming two planets, let alone your nearly successful attempts on a third.”

Rhea gave a compliant nod. “We understand—and we accept whatever punishment you give us.” The other satellites hovered beside her. “We’re ready.”

“But—what if we already forgave them?” Earth frowned at the Sun. “Rhea and Tethys apologized to us not even 30 minutes ago.”

“Well—at least most of them. But definitely not those two.” Mars pointed accusingly at both revolutionary leaders.

Titan cleared his throat softly. “I…I owe you one as well, Earth. I cannot say sorry enough for how badly I’ve handled things. Yes, you shouldn’t have said those hurtful words to me—but that gave me no right to retaliate physically since you never laid a hand on me or the other moons first. And in the process, I put one of your Earthlings in danger who was clearly innocent and had nothing to do with the revolution.”

Earth was taken aback by his confession. “Titan…I…”

“Luna was right—you acknowledged your own faults, redeemed yourself, and made amends with us without resorting to violence.” The green planet faced the other planets as well. “In fact, all of you did. Tethys overheard Saturn memorizing our names at least twenty times a day. That really is incredible, and I couldn’t be more proud.”

“It’s true!” the ringed giant chimed in. “I’ve been practicing by listing all your names in order from A to Z, and then closest to furthest!”

Dione blinked three times. “Wait…you have?”

“Of course, Dione!” He turned to his other moons. “You guys too! Mimas, Enceladus, Tethys, Dione again, Rhea, Titan, Hyperion, and Iapetus! And of course, my lovely minor moons — ”

“Dude, you have over a hundred of them,” Mars laughed softly. “Maybe recite them later.”

“Oh—okay! Can’t wait!” Saturn said excitedly. “I’ve written them all down, I promise! I even added the fun facts you told me to ease the process!”

His fourth-largest satellite was stunned. “You…said our names right.”

“And you didn’t call me Encelada this time! Thank goodness!” Enceladus finally smiled in appreciation.

Terra mimicked his grin. “Thank you, Titan. I…I’m sure AstroDude and his family will forgive you too—eventually.”

The addressed moon bowed his head. “I hope so…but I understand if they decide not to. Hell, I’d probably strangle my own neck if I were them.”

“I don’t think they’d go that far,” Earth chuckled. “Although humans can be brutal sometimes—but there are good ones too.”

“I um…I’d—I’d like to hear more about your Earthlings…i-if you’re open to it,” Titan suggested sheepishly. “I’ve always been fascinated by the amount of biodiversity you have on your surface, and even underneath it.”

“I as well,” Iapetus revealed, which surprised his orbital neighbours. “Your Earthlings seem to be very intrigued by my geological features and often refer to me as the yin-and-yang of the Solar System due to my high reflectivity. So naturally, I am also curious about their species.”

“I’d love to tell you—Iapetus,” Earth offered. “And Titan, of course,” he added quickly.

“Yes…” Saturn’s third-largest moon greeted respectfully. “I apologize for our previous encounters since they were quite—unsavory, so to speak.”

Venus pffted. “Yeah, no kidding.”

“Um…can I say something?” Tethys raised his hand.

The yellow dwarf flailed his hands exasperatedly. “Sure, why not? Let’s all interrupt the Sun’s closing statement.” He then gave up and sighed. “Yeah okay, go ahead.”

“Right, s-so um…for those who don’t know me, I’m Tethys—Saturn’s fifth-largest satellite and one of the current representatives of the moons,” he introduced himself timidly. “A-And I um…”

The pace of his words quickened. “I know Laomedeia and I weren’t personally involved in the revolution, since we were hanging out with Haumea’s moons at the time—specifically Namaka and Hi’iaka. Those are their names, by the way. Both are technically our sisters and they’re very kind and compassionate people…”

Tethys nearly squeaked when he felt several pairs of eyes on him, listening attentively.

“S-Sorry…I’m talking really fast, aren’t I? I—I tend to do that a lot when I’m nervous. He he…” he apologized sheepishly as Rhea squeezed his hand encouragingly.

This gave him enough confidence to continue. “Anyway, point is—I think can speak for the other moons when I say that…”

Tethys took a deep breath to calm himself, slowing his pace a little. “We’ve all felt small in comparison to you guys. But—I don’t think any of us really considered that no one chose their sizes. We were either born that way or collided with other proto-objects early on…at least that’s what the Earthlings said.”

“Anyone else curious about the protoplanets that came before us?” Mercury whispered to the other rocky planets, who nodded in response.

“We—we also forget that just ‘cause we orbit around you, doesn’t mean it ends there. Like Earth said, you guys are also very small in comparison to the Sun and orbit around him. And he orbits around our galactic center—Sagittarius A, I think. And there are satellite galaxies orbiting around the Milky Way…”

Tethys continued rambling as the yellow dwarf instantly blanched, flashbacks of larger stars and other celestial bodies coursing through his brain.

Meanwhile, Ganymede’s jaw dropped. “Wait…there are objects bigger than the Sun??”

“Well obviously!” Europa snorted. “Look at his face! Apparently he does understand what it’s like.”

Luna turned to his parent star and frowned in concern. “Uh…Sun? Are you okay? Sun? A-Are you still with us? Sun…?” he asked.

But Sol didn’t hear him, too lost in his own anxious thoughts before snapping out of it, immediately shaking his head.

“Okay, l-let’s change subjects,” he stated, noticing Tethys had stopped talking. “Back to the situation at hand. Now where was I…?”

Chapter Text

SAME DAY:

“Ah yes, the moons!” the Sun finally remembered. “This isn’t much of a punishment as it is—well—a personal redemption. Since some of you already apologized to the planets, the others must do this immediately after the trials or in the near future. And it has to be sincere and not just because I told you to!”

All satellites (minus the two perpetrators) nodded obediently.

“For the next two years—Earth years, not Neptune years—each of you will jot down how much progress you’ve made in terms of improving relationships with your designated planets!” he instructed. “Now I don’t expect professional writing from any of you, but it has to be authetic. So no bullshitting! Believe me, I’ll know if you’re lying.”

The Sun inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

“The only ones exempt from this task are Luna, Tethys, Laomedeia, and the dwarf planets’ moons—since none of you were involved in the violence nor supported the revolution in any way, shape, or form! Of course…you can still track your progress if you want, but it’s not mandatory,” he added. “It might be helpful though.”

“We’ll keep that in mind,” Luna smiled appreciatively. “And we’ll let the other satellites know as soon as possible.”

“Thanks, but there’s no need. I’ll summon them all later,” Sol informed him.

“Oh…okay,” Earth’s satellite replied.

“Before I move forward…I’m gonna address Phobos, Deimos, Io, Callisto, and Neptune’s moons for a sec.”

This caught their attention.

“You guys did initially support the revolution, but didn’t participate in the attacks—so your required assignment is basically what the others moons have, but for three months rather than two years. You already have a good relationship with your respective planets, but there’s always room for improvement!”

“We can do that!” Phobos chirped.

“Hooray for more time with Mars!” Deimos applauded.

“And Neptune!” Naiad cheered.

“Anyway! Moving onto…drum-roll please…Titan!” The said moon gulped quietly. “Since the Moon Revolution was your idea and it wasn’t run by me first, therefore technically illegal—you have an additional task!” the Sun proclaimed.

“For six whole semesters, you will audit a variety of Earthling courses online from an undergraduate major of your choosing—but here’s the catch! You must complete the professors’ homework assignments, exams, pop quizzes, projects…whatever! This will start in a few months since first, you have to study for the United States High School GED and SAT!”

Titan blinked rapidly. “Uh…how am I supposed to — ”

“Don’t worry. I promise to explain the details in tomorrow’s one-on-one meeting. Feel free to take notes while I’m talking in order to make your job easier,” the yellow dwarf highly recommended with a toothy grin. “By the way, Earth is not required to help you with either process, but he cannot do the work for you.”

“Oh…o-okay. Sounds good, I guess…” he trailed off.

“And now for the grand finale!” the Sun broadcasted. “Ganymede and Europa! You two have a lot of crimes under your belt! But mostly for an illegal armed conflict, plus promoting violence born out of hate and prejudice towards a targetted group of celestial bodies!”

The two culprits exchanged apprehensive glances before eyeing their prosecutor.

“Now at first, I considered banishment…but then I realized, that would be too easy. You guys would ironically have even more freedom! So here’s the deal—the others can still visit, but you two are not allowed to leave your designated orbits for the next five hundred years!” he nearly shouted.

Ganymede and Europa swallowed thickly before Sol’s tone instantly returned to normal.

“However…I can reduce your sentence by five decades if you’re willing to display genuine remorse for your nearly successful power play,” he offered. “So what’s it gonna be? Do both of you regret conducting violence against the planets? Yes or no? And remember, no BS! Being sorry you got caught doesn’t count!”

“Uh…” Ganymede was at a loss for words. “Maybe we took it too far…”

“Yeah…does sort of count for anything…?” Europa hoped.

“So your regret is fifty percent?” the Sun assumed.

“Seventy percent on my end,” Jupiter’s smallest Gallilean moon admitted.

“I’ll go with sixty,” the largest moon said truthfully.

“Alright then…70+60 is 130—divided by two is sixty-five. So 50*0.65 is…32.5! Huh—looks like your sentence is 32.5 years shorter, so 467.5 years!” Sol stated.

“467 years and six months…okay, not bad,” Europa hummed. “At least it’s better than a thousand.”

“Let alone a million,” Ganymede mumbled in partial relief.

“Ahem! But keep in mind that each major violation will add ten years to your imprisonment!” the yellow dwarf warned them. “That includes the following! Further acts of moderate-to-severe physical harm towards each other or anyone else, whether it’s intentional or simply a prank. Other factors are substantial threats, promoting hate speech…you get the jist.”

“What about Earth? He also said something discriminatory against all moons of the Solar System,” the female culprit challenged.

“His freedom is already limited due to his Earthlings, so he can’t really go beyond the Asteroid Belt anyway. Also, he did not cause physical harm on anyone, let alone start a war,” the Sun reminded her. “And according to Mercury, he already paid a heavy price for his past misconduct, and I should know ‘cause I was a direct witness!”

“Yeah! Earth genuinely apologized and made up for it! Did you forget that? You guys were there!” Luna supplied aggravatedly. “And he wrote detailed letters to every individual satellite in the Solar System, including the dwarf planets.”

“I-I-It’s true! I read mine,” Io volunteered. “I-I-It was very sweet and thoughtful!”

“I did too, and he’s right. Earth wrote to all of us,” Ariel confirmed.

“He has really nice handwriting,” Despina complimented.

Earth ducked his head and smiled. “Thanks.”

“I—I should probably read mine soon,” Titania confessed.

Triton nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

“So far, so good! Any questions?” the Sun asked, which was met with an awkward silence. “Alright then! The trial is officially over, so everyone’s dismissed! As for Titan, Ganymede, and Europa—I will see you three in twenty-four hours.”

“Yes sir,” they replied synchronously.

Right before the Solar System members parted ways for the night, four planets apologized for unintentionally invalidating their moons’ feelings. In the meantime, Mars and Neptune were looking forward to strengthening their bonds with each natural satellite starting tomorrow morning.

For a brief moment—the eight planets, Luna, Phobos, and Deimos exchanged warm smiles with Rhea and Tethys, promising to keep in touch from now on. Obviously Venus denied expressing his soft side, but that’s a story for another time.