Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ryuji knew he wasn’t exactly the greatest catch in terms of courting and relationships. Most people who knew him would often complain about how loud he is or that he wasn’t very smart. Sure, they liked him well enough on the track team, but Ryuji figures it’s because he was one of their fastest runners that they tolerated him and didn’t have a choice if they wanted to make a run at a championship.

Course, though, that means very little now.

Since the Kamoshida Incident, the people who liked Ryuji were rare and hard to find. Those who used to hang out with Ryuji suddenly had other things to do or was just too busy for him. Some of the members of the track team didn’t even try to hide their contempt for him and has spoken negatively about him to his face and behind his back. Ryuji figures they never really liked him in the first place, though Kamoshida helped escalate that part faster, probably. But, it was probably during the incident that caused Ryuji’s reputation to tank more so than the aftermath.

He had gotten angry and swung at the teacher. That caused people to distrust him and earned himself a reputation he didn’t deserve. Then, Kamoshida broke his leg, and more and more people started looking at Ryuji with a frown on their faces, disgust clear as day in their eyes. To top it all off, Ryuji had gotten his hair dyed, though Ryuji had done it both for his sake and for Ann’s - not like anyone cares about that, anyway.

In conclusion, Ryuji was an awful Omega. He had a bum leg, his hair was too flashy to be natural (those who knew he originally had black hair could only shake their heads in shame), and his personality wasn’t great. Not to mention he wasn’t very smart and only seemed to care about slacking off, in spite of it being the opposite when it came to track. 

So yeah, Ryuji knew he was doomed from the start, when his second gender was revealed and then the whole thing with Kamoshida and the track team. Although hurt by being outcast by his team and then shunned by the whole school because of Kamoshida, Ryuji really didn’t mind it after a while. Eventually, Ryuji had learned to cope with the fact that nobody wanted him - as a friend, as a person and especially as an Omega. Up until a certain point, he had been fine as a loner, posing as a delinquent the school made him out to be.

Then he meets Kurusu Akira.

Suddenly, Ryuji’s entire world has changed. He hadn’t realized it back then, but meeting Akira was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to him. Akira had no idea who he was, but had been polite enough to entertain Ryuji and his antics when he could’ve easily pretended he didn’t see Ryuji at all. He could’ve listen to the teachers that had warned him about Ryuji and stayed away. Instead, Akira had been curious about him as he was to Akira, and after that whole shit with Kamoshida’s castle and personas, it had been a better idea to stick together than it was pretending it never happened and going their separate ways.

Not to mention the way Akira smelt. The thought had Ryuji blushing and he quickly shook his head.

Anyway, having to meet Akira was like a blessing for Ryuji. He hadn’t realized how lonely he’s been until after he and Ann had made up of sorts, and even then, Akira just….did something to him that nobody’s ever done before. Akira - cool, calm, collected Akira; whose personality ranges differently depending on who he’s talking to, where he is and how much Akira likes them; Akira who is the most attractive guy Ryuji’s ever seen and is making him feel things Ryuji thought he could ever feel around girls - this Akira had treated Ryuji like a person. He had listened to Ryuji whenever he was feeling down about himself, he had been there and stood up for him when he needed it, he had allowed Ryuji to just be himself without question, without judgement. He did everything he could to make Ryuji’s inner omega coo and awe at the idea of someone being attracted to him, of Akira being attracted to him.

Oh no.

It didn’t take long for Ryuji to figure out that Akira was an Alpha. He didn’t mind it, not really. Secondary genders didn’t seem to bother him - Ann and Makoto being Alphas, Haru was also an Omega like Ryuji, Yusuke was a Beta, Futaba hasn’t had her secondary gender reveal yet - so Ryuji wasn’t going to stir up a fuss either. Nobody really mentioned anything about their gender, too busy trying to steal hearts from their targets, but in the back of Ryuji’s mind, he thinks about it constantly. Because now, as he sits there and stares at his friends, he’s suddenly hit with a sudden, sinking feeling that he hadn’t felt since the track days.

You’re not a very attractive Omega. A voice whispered cruelty in his ear, causing him to sit up straight, startling his friends from their study group.

“Ryuji?” Akira started, looking at his friend. Ryuji just shook his head, giving him a smile.

“‘S fine. Just getting lost in my thoughts.” He said. Morgana snickered.

“Thoughts? You have those?” 

Ryuji glared at him. “Can it, cat.”

Before Ryuji and Morgana could get into their usual spat, Makoto cleared her throat.

“Ryuji, focus. These questions will be on the test tomorrow and I don’t want to hear how they weren’t simply because you weren’t paying attention.” She said in her stern, motherly voice. Ryuji couldn’t help but flinch. He knows Makoto means well, but seriously, a strict tone of voice isn't exactly helping Ryuji’s case.

“Alright, alright, sheesh.” He mumbled, going back to his history book. Still, the idea of being unattractive and unwanted lingered in his mind, and he couldn’t stop himself from comparing. 

Makoto and Haru have it all figured out. They’ll be going to college soon, and they seem to get along quite well. Not surprised really, Haru is so sweet and nice even if she wasn’t an Omega. No wonder Makoto fell for her. Ryuji frowned, his mind clouding over. And Ann…she’s always talking about Shiho and modeling. She’s most likely going to find a modeling agency soon - wouldn’t be long, Ann’s a great model and with her looks, I don’t doubt she’ll be getting calls from all over the world - and she, if God wills it, would’ve taken Shiho with her. Heck, once Shiho is cleared from the hospital, I know she still has plans with Shiho clearly in her future. The thought made Ryuji sad, but he wasn’t going to begrudge Ann for it. Though all three were friends, to Ryuji, it always felt like Ann preferred Shiho and vice versa. He knew those two had a crush on each other since they were in middle school so it’s not a surprise that Ann would prioritize her over him. And then Yusuke…Yusuke is going to become a great artist. His paintings are going to be recognized all over the world someday, if that’s what he wants. Still…I can’t help but wonder…

Maybe it was Ryuji’s imagination, but he swears the only reason Futaba picks on Yusuke is because she has a crush on him and, like any good shut-in, doesn’t know how to handle it properly. Futaba is smart enough to know Yusuke only looks at the world through an artist’s lens yet in spite of that, she constantly berates him for it. Ryuji may not be as smart as Makoto, but he thinks technology/gaming and art has a pretty big overlap that there should be enough of a common ground that Yusuke and Futaba could be friends, if Futaba ever stops baiting him. Plus they’re both socially awkward, it’s kind of cute as long as Sojiro approves.

Hell, even Mishima… The grip on his pencil tightened. Mishima was an Omega too and even he surpasses Ryuji in a way. Mishima was meek and quiet and doesn’t go looking for trouble unlike Ryuji; and even though Haru likewise falls under the stereotypical Omega trope too, Ryuji knows differently. Haru isn’t meek, she’s shy, and can still kick your ass to kingdom come if she feels like you’re disrespecting her in some way. Alphas would have most likely been in a world of hurt if they thought they could control Haru. Luckily, Haru seems to be okay with Makoto and Makoto would never try to hurt her, Ryuji knows that for a fact.

Mishima though? That’s a different story and Ryuji fears for the small teen a lot. He hopes he can find someone who treats him well, though…

His gut twisted.

Thinking of Mishima meant he now has to think of the other Alpha in the group, the one who Ryuji has no idea if he found someone he likes or if he’s already with someone, who has made Ryuji feel so many things throughout their adventure, someone that made his heart sing with just one glance from his pretty gray eyes, his smile, and with a flop of hair Ryuji just wanted to run his hand through. Someone who made him feel loved when the only person he thought could ever love him was his mother. Someone he desperately wants to claim as his, but is too nervous, too afraid of being rejected for a second time - for not being the Omega he was supposed to be.

Akira. His best friend, his leader, his-

Ryuji felt a hitch in his breath, not knowing Akira glanced at him in concern. His mind was in turmoil.

Really, Ryuji should’ve seen it coming. Akira was the only person who accepted Ryuji for who he was, and despite knowing who he is and what he’s done, Akira still stuck around. He didn’t have to, but he did. He had lended a hand to Ryuji and saved him from a life of isolation after being judged and written off as a delinquent. He had believed in Ryuji when there were times Ryuji didn’t believe in himself. He made Ryuji feel less alone in the world, and though he constantly teased him for being ‘mushy’ as Futaba likes to call it, Akira took his feelings seriously and never really brought it up to the rest of the team or used it against him.

Sakamoto Ryuji was in love with Kurusu Akira. 

He wanted to cry.

You’re not a very attractive Omega. 

He never really gave much thought about being an Omega and how the rest of the world perceived them to be, but now that he had met Akira, saw the rest of the Phantom Thieves, Ryuji finally understood. He understands why he’s considered an unwanted Omega.

“Ryuji-kun, are you alright? You’re releasing distress pheromones.” Came the sweet and innocent voice of Haru, breaking Ryuji out of his funk and realizing that everyone was staring at him, concerned written on their faces.

“H-huh? Oh. Sorry.” He said, forcing himself to calm down, trying to reel in his scent. 

“Ryuji, are you sure you’re alright? What’s causing you such distress?” Ann asked, but Ryuji only shook his head.

“I’m fine, I promise! Sorry if my pheromones distracted you. We can get back to studying now.” Ryuji said. The others still looked concerned though, glancing at each other before Makoto spoke up.

“Actually, it’s getting pretty late. We should go home now.” 

Ryuji blinked before looking at the clock on the wall of Leblanc coffee shop and realized it was indeed time for them to go home. Looking down at his paper, Ryuji realized he hadn’t finished his test and had to hold back a groan lest he wanted Makoto on his tail. One by one, all of his friends started to leave and just as Ryuji was about to leave too, Akira held him back.

“‘Kira?” Ryuji tilted his head, questioning. For a moment, Akira didn’t say anything, but when he did, Ryuji had to stop himself from shivering.

“Answer me truthfully. Are you sure you’re okay?” Akira looked determined, the frown on his face telling Ryuji he wasn’t going to let this go. His heart fluttered, inner Omega cooing, but his mind was telling him to stop because Akira wasn’t his and he never will be. 

“…I’m okay, Akira. Really.” 

He needed to go. Now.

Akira just frowned harder, giving Ryuji a slight squeeze on his wrist, before letting him go. A part of Ryuji wanted Akira to give him a Command, to make him stay and answer, but that wasn’t Akira’s style and they knew it.

“…If you say so. Just promise me you’ll tell me what’s wrong?” Akira asked, voice so soft and eyes so gentle, Ryuji could feel himself falling in love all over again.

He put on a fake smile.

“I will!”

Later, on his bed at home, Ryuji cried himself to sleep.

Chapter Text

The sun had barely risen about time Ryuji had woken up from his tears-induced sleep, staring dully at his wall, eyes tinged red. He had just enough time to start getting ready for school, but with his head still clouded with thoughts from yesterday, he really needed a moment.

Just how did Ryuji forget he wasn’t the Omega society wanted, an Omega society needs? He never really stopped to think about it because it just never seemed important enough, but after meeting Akira - realizing he’s an unmated Alpha - Ryuji was now stuck in a place he didn’t want to be in.

Just what kind of a Omega society wanted? Ryuji had to reach far back into his mind, when secondary genders first became known and they had to take classes to learn more, but from what Ryuji can recall, the best type of Omega is this-

A soft spoken, well mannered, submissive type that only speaks when spoken to. An Omega is to never question their superiors, Alphas or Betas, and more importantly, Omegas are to be bred by only the strongest, most capable of Alphas, no matter how aggressive and rude the Alpha is. Physically, the most preferred traits for an Omega - men and women alike - is a round face, doe eyes, small lips, and if male, a feminine body shape with enough weight to bare healthy children. 

And Ryuji….Ryuji was none of those things. 

He wasn’t soft and well spoken, mostly sticking to slang; nor was he submissive, not really. He had a temper and was energetic. Sometimes he wasn’t able to let stuff go, and often call people out on their bullshit. He wasn’t feminine either, though he did have curves. He loved running, staying in shape, and he wasn’t going to start ruining his physique just so he could have the ideal body for…for…for breeding. The more he thought about it, the more gross out he feels that this was the standard for Omegas.

But then he thinks about Haru and Shiho and Mishima and deflates. All three were also Omegas just like Ryuji, yet by society standards, they were far more approachable and attractive than him.

It makes sense why Haru is the way she is despite being nearly the same as Ryuji in terms of temperament. Haru grew up in an environment where being polite and respectful was grilled into her - not just because she was an Omega, but also because she was a woman with a father that was more worried about controlling her and his shady business practices than her actual safety. Haru was simply a product of her surroundings, being taught lessons by the people around her on what to do and not to do. Though that didn’t mean Haru’s personality wasn’t her own; strict father or not, Ryuji gets the feeling Haru would always be kind and sweet and respectful to anyone she comes across. Her real attitude only started kicking in when she became a Phantom Thief.

Shiho and Mishima were more or less the same. They both started out meek yet polite - though with Shiho, maybe not so. She did criticize Ann’s painting afterall - and it wasn’t until the shitstorm that was Kamoshida that you started seeing bits and pieces of what society truly wanted from Omegas. Both were quiet, didn’t speak unless spoken to, and mostly kept their heads down in the crowd. Kamoshida’s abuse didn’t help, but even before then, Shiho only ever stuck around Ann for most of their childhood and Mishima was just there and needed a friend because no one else gave him the time of day. Yet, they were quite the attractive Omegas society had wanted, what they needed. Not to mention they were physically attractive as well; once the bruises went away, Ryuji saw some of the students in Shujin looking at Mishima with curiosity and maybe a bit of lust, especially that Amiyama fellow. 

And then there’s Ryuji, who wasn’t physically and personality wise attractive. He wasn’t the Omega society wanted, and he knew, deep in his heart, he couldn’t be. The Omega everyone wanted Ryuji to be was not the Omega Ryuji could see himself as. Which is why Akira being an Alpha just made the knife in Ryuji’s heart twist a little bit more, a little bit more painful.

Because Akira was kind. Akira likes helping everyone if he could. Akira was probably the most gentlest Alpha Ryuji has ever seen, yet like so many of his friends, that gentlest has the potential of being limited. He could be sly, mocking. He’s spoken with authority before, in the Metaverse. Ryuji could feel shivers go up his spine when he thought about Akira’s smooth, deep voice washing over him, purring in his ear, flirty and playful, demanding and controlled, and Ryuji felt his face flush as a small whine threatened to leave his lips. Akira was kind, but he was also seductive and it drew Ryuji in like a moth to a flame. Akira is so so good, so wonderful, such a perfect Alpha that Ryuji wants - craves. 

Then Ryuji crashes back to Earth when he realizes he’s an Unwanted Omega and Akira didn’t need him. He couldn’t. Akira had so much on his plate already, they still had to do something about his criminal record that he didn’t deserve by the way, they still have to help out people and Akira’s list of friends seems to keep growing, and Akira has so many options, some so much better than Ryuji-

“Ryu-kun, are you awake? It’s time for school.” His mother called. Realizing he was spiraling out of control in his thoughts, Ryuji blinked, his time sitting on the bed gradually coming to an end. Sitting up, he shook his head and began to get ready. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see his mother standing there, eyes shining in worry.

“What’s up?” He croaked and he had to wince at the sound. He didn’t think he’d cried that hard.

The frown on his mother’s face told a different story.

“Ryu,” She started, crossing her arms against her chest. “Are you okay? Yesterday…when you came home, you were crying and releasing distress pheromones, practically begging someone to comfort you. I wanted to - to ask you what was wrong, but you had ran to your room very fast and locked the door. I could hear some things, but not enough to guess what’s the matter.”

At that, Ryuji could feel the embarrassment slipping in. He didn’t want his mother to see that side of him, though she is an Omega too. And while most Omegas would do anything to avoid letting people see them in their most vulnerable moments, distress moments usually aren’t one of them. In fact, it is heavily encouraged by society so that people nearby can know that there is an Omega in trouble and most likely needs help.

Just another one of those things where Ryuji might as well be a defective Omega. He thought bitterly to himself. He shook his head and smiled at her. “I’m okay, I promise.”

His mother just frowned harder.

“Ryuji, Omegas don't just release distress pheromones for nothing. Something’s clearly bothering you. Won’t you please tell me?” She asked, her soft sad brown eyes mirroring Ryuji’s own. Ryuji could feel his facade crumble, just a bit.

“After,” He said, knowing he couldn’t lie to his mother. “After school. I’ll tell you then.”

His mother didn’t look too happy, but she was going to take what she can get for now. With a sigh, she turned back to the kitchen and allowed Ryuji to finish up so he could get to school on time. Soon, Ryuji had made his way to the train station, finding himself subconsciously looking for Akira. He had found the black hair teen in his usual spot and, ignoring how happy he was to see him, was about to rush over when Akechi started walking over to him.

Stifling a low growl, Ryuji watched with narrowed eyes as the two Alphas converse, Akira’s face giving away nothing.

Ryuji has no idea what Akechi’s problem was, but the brown haired detective was very annoying, especially with the whole switch up. He had spent a lot of time berating the Phantom Thieves on TV and suddenly now he’s on their side? He hates it.

But, his thoughts whispered, ugly and cruel, as always. You hate it even more because of how close he is to Akira. Even he has a better chance than you. The ever twisting knife just kept twisting and twisting, deeper into his heart. After all, nobody said two people of the same secondary genders couldn’t be together. People still argue about Omegas being in a relationship with another Omega, but it was never outright banned or illegal to have someone of the same secondary gender be together. It would make the relationship complex and complicated, but as long as the people within the relationship could find a way to find some common ground, it should still work out. Of course, there’s things about heats and ruts and certain pheromones to take into consideration, but more research needs to be done before they could make an accurate conclusion.

And Akechi is just as hot as Akira is. Maybe Akira had the better attitude therefore the better Alpha, but most people had overlooked that in favor of Akechi’s look. The thought made Ryuji flinch. Alpha or Omega, Akechi still has you beat. His thoughts snide. Not to mention, Akechi was incredibly intelligent, far more than Ryuji, and Akira could keep up with him. His gut started to squirm.

He didn’t like Akechi, but Akira seems to, even if his leader was aware of how slimy he is. If Akira were to choose him…if Akechi was everything Akira wanted in a mate, Alpha or not…

“RYUJI!” A voice shouted, startling him from his thoughts. Looking up, he noticed Akira was right in front of him, concern in his eyes. He had noticed Akira squeezing his hand, as if it physically stopping himself from reaching out to Ryuji. “Ryuji, calm down. Your pheromones are going everywhere right now!” 

At that, Ryuji realized he was releasing not just distress pheromones, but also possessive, needy ones too. There was also a hint of despair, a sense of begging, and Ryuji could feel when his blood left his body.

Fuck. Fuck. How did his control over himself get this bad and so quickly? Ryuji used to be able to handle rejection, he used to not care what people thought of him, what Ryuji wouldn’t be able to give, so why? 

Akira, the whispers sounded needy, begging. I want Akira. I want to be Akira’s Omega. Only his. Akira…

“-Uji, please. Listen to my voice, come back,” Akira was saying, pleading. There’s a slight tremble underneath the command - not the Command, but still a command - and that didn’t sound like Akira at all. Not his confident leader. “Come on, come back to me. Follow my voice, I’m here. I’m always here.” 

That’s right. Akira was always there.

Blinking, Ryuji looked up into the eyes of his best friend, seeing the warmth and concern, bringing Ryuji back down to Earth.

“W-what…?” 

“You were stressing out so much you almost gave yourself a panic attack.” Akira said, the frown on his face deepening. “Not to mention your pheromones. It was everywhere and it took some time for me to reach you because of all the people in the way.”

People? Ryuji didn’t remember that.

“This can’t continue. Please talk to me. What’s wrong? Is there anything I can do to help?” Akira asked. It took everything within Ryuji to not say Please be my mate.

He wants to brush it off, so he does.

“…It’s getting late. We should hurry up before you get marked as absent.” Was all he said. Akira made a clicking noise in the back of his throat, clearly irritated by Ryuji’s attempt to dodge the question, but was also right. The two started walking to Shujin, a tense silence falling over them.

All throughout the day, Ryuji was constantly distracted by his own thoughts. He really couldn’t focus on much when his head is filled with despair, at not only was he not the Omega Akira needs, but also…his friends wouldn’t be around much longer. Haru and Makoto were going to college, Ann’s modeling career, Yusuke looking for a college to further his interest in arts…Futaba would be the only one left and well, as fun as Futaba is, she’s most likely going to find friends of her own age group. As for Akira…

Ryuji swallowed, blinking back the tears he knew were coming.

He has no idea what Akira’s plans are. He figures he’ll want to stay, but that wasn’t up to him, not as much. Maybe, if he had someone waiting on him, but as far as Ryuji knew, he didn’t. And if Akira chooses to leave, Ryuji was going to be alone again.

“Ryuji-kun?” Looking up, he saw Haru staring at him. “May we talk?” 

“Oh! Uh, sure Haru.” Ryuji scooted over the bench he was sitting on, making room for the fluffy haired girl. “What’s up?”

At first, Haru said nothing, looking rather unsure of herself, but then she started. “Lately, it seems you have a lot on your mind, more so than usual. And whatever it is, it’s causing you great distress. Your anxiousness, your worry…it’s written all over your face even if you aren’t saying it.”

That startled Ryuji, though maybe he shouldn’t be surprised. He knows he’s acting weird for the last few days, with him sending out distress pheromones every now and then.

“We wish to help you, Ryuji-kun. Whatever ails you, you don’t have to face it alone. Or maybe it’s mostly an Omega thing,” When she heard Ryuji’s breath hitch, Haru tilted her head, looking at him. “Maybe the others won’t understand because they aren’t us. If this is the case, I’m happy to lend an ear for you. I know Omega males struggle a lot, maybe more so than females, but we’re still in this together, aren’t we? I want to help.”

For a moment, Ryuji couldn’t speak. He didn’t know how.

“…Could you make me attractive?” He uttered, voice so low Haru could barely hear it.

“Eh? What was that?” She asked. Realizing what he said, Ryuji shook his head and gave her a small, albeit sad, smile.

“Never mind. Come on, lunch is over.”

“E-Eh?! Wait, Ryuji-kun!”

Ryuji was already heading down the stairs from the school’s rooftop. Haru frowned.

“Attractive? What in the world?”

Chapter Text

Ryuji was almost cornered by the time school ended. Ann had been making her way to him, hot on his heels, and accidentally - or maybe, conveniently - herding him to their other two friends in Makoto and Akira. While not actively trying to avoid them, Ryuji really didn’t want to see Akira right now - he’s still in his heartbreaking realization stage, and his inner Omega wants nothing more than to cling onto Akira, desperate and pleading. Ryuji could only imagine how annoyed the Alpha would be if Ryuji showed up like that.

So Ryuji did what he always does in situations where expressing his fears and insecurity was an option - he ran. 

Ryuji knows better. He should just come clean about his feelings, and maybe the rest of the group would agree he’s an Unwanted Omega but they still love him anyway. And while Ryuji does care about his friends, he sometimes can’t help but wonder if they feel the same. Their taunts and insults hurt, and nobody’s ever given him a proper apology if they knew they went too far. Sometimes it makes Ryuji question why they’re friends at all.

But regardless, Ryuji cares about them, even if the caring was lopsided. It’ll break his heart - even more so than Akira rejecting him - if they only put up with him because of Akira. Because, at the end of it all, the only thing that’s keeping them together is Akira. Akira- a kind, generous soul that always lended a hand or ear to anyone who needs it. Akira, with a soft - sometimes wicked - smile and a nice sense of humor. Akira, who Ryuji believes, can tear the whole world down with his conviction. Lovely, lovely Akira.

Akira, who needed an Omega much better than Ryuji.

It was with this thought that Ryuji kept running, kept avoiding his friends. He had managed to get home without anyone following, though judging by how many pings he was getting from his phone, he really hasn’t escaped their grasp just yet.

“Ryuji?” His mother called, having to hear the door opening to their apartment. Ryuji took off his shoes before he fully stepped inside, already making his way to his mother. His mother simply gave her son an understanding look, having to feel his sadness as soon as he entered the house. “Sit, I’ll make some tea and we’ll discuss what ever the problem is.”

Ryuji didn’t respond as he moved to take a seat. The two didn’t say anything as his mother moved around the kitchen to fix the tea and when it was done, Ryuji realized it was a soothing type - chamomile - and he subconsciously relaxed at the smell. Chamomile wasn’t his first choice of tea, but as down as Ryuji is currently feeling, it helps.

“So, what’s the problem? Why is my baby boy so sad and depressed all of a sudden?” His mother asked, looking at her son. It took a moment for Ryuji to speak.

“I…I am in love with an Alpha, but I…I..” He could feel his bottom lip tremble, brown eyes filling with tears. “I…I don’t think I’m good enough for him.”

He had to stop himself from busting out in tears - a thing he hasn’t done since he was a child. 

Those words hurt to hear, to even say out loud. Ryuji really hadn’t thought about being good enough for somebody in a long time - his mother being the exception - but now he has someone he wants and if going by the standards set by society when it comes to Alphas, Omegas, and Betas alike is something to consider, Ryuji was so far out of his league, it’s laughable to think Akira would want someone like him. 

“Is it Akira-kun?” His mother asked. Startled by the accurate guess, Ryuji looked up, eyes wide.

“W-wha? How?!” He yelped. His mother giggled at Ryuji’s expression.

“Out of all your friends, you talk about Akira-kun the most. Ever since meeting that boy, you smiled often and seemed genuinely happy. He makes you happy, so oblivious to the content and happy pheromones you release whenever Akira-kun is mentioned.” She said with a gentle smile on her face. Ryuji could feel his ears burning, mortified. Jeeze, was it that obvious he was in love with Akira? 

She giggled again.

“Don’t feel too bad, Ryu-kun. I was the same way when I…” She paused, an awkward silence falling over them as Ryuji’s shoulders tensed up, knowing what she was going to say. 

I was the same way when I first fell in love with your father. 

Right. Another thing he had to worry about. What a piece of shit. 

“But I don’t understand,” His mother continued, ignoring all the things left unsaid. “What makes you think you aren’t good enough for him? Isn’t Akira-kun your friend? Did he say something?”

Ryuji swallowed and shook his head.

“Nah, nothing like that. It’s just…” Ryuji looked down at himself. “Ain’t Omegas supposed to be…I don’t know, good? Supposed to be attractive or something?” He was shrinking onto himself. “I’m not that all.”

“Oh honey, no. Ryu-kun, that’s not-“ His mother stood and walked over to him, bending down low so they were face to face. “Ryuji, you are good. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and you’ve only ever done things out of necessity.” 

“But I’m an Omega, shouldn’t I behave like one?” He asked. She frowned.

“How do you mean?”

“I mean…” Ryuji hesitated, not wanting to offend his mother. “Most Omegas are quiet…and I’m very much not. And they don’t cause trouble…” 

“Ryuji, you are never trouble. Your father being abusive isn’t your fault and the thing that happened in school wasn’t your fault either. As for being quiet,” She pressed her lips together. “While that may be true for some, that doesn’t really mean anything. And Ryuji, I like how outspoken you are, as I’m sure Akira-kun feels the same way. How could I ever know what’s going on with you if you’re quiet all the time?”

Ryuji shifted in his seat. The logic is sound and like she pointed out, Akira never really complained about him being loud. But…it still feels more of a negative thing than anything; especially when Akira was more on the quiet side when not in the Metaverse.

“Baby, listen to me,” His mother started, taking her son into her arms. “I know Omegas are held to a certain…standard that I often scrunch my nose at, but just because the public’s opinion of what an Omega should be and who you are doesn’t align must mean you are a bad person because of it. I know you, Ryu, you’re a good person with a very good heart. Anyone, Alpha or no, would be lucky to have you.” She could hear Ryuji sniffling and that made her hold on him tighter. “And if, for some reason, Akira rejects you because of that, well, then maybe he isn’t the Alpha you need.”

Ryuji wanted to protest that it was Akira who didn’t need him. Instead, he kept silent, his tears sliding down his face. His mother just released some comforting pheromones as she hugged him, humming a little song into Ryuji’s ear. Eventually, Ryuji’s anxiety started fading away. Later, when Ryuji checked his phone, he saw a bunch of messages in the group chat plus some private ones from Ann and Akira.

>>ANN: Ryuji is acting weird.

>>YUSUKE: Agreed. His distress pheromones were quite distracting to say the least.

>>MAKOTO: Any ideas Haru? You were the last person to talk to him, right? 

>>HARU: I believe it could be something Omega related, though I am unsure of what. He was mumbling quite low, but I did hear the word attractive before he left after lunch was over.

>>FUTABA: what does that have to do with anything?

>>HARU: It is not something I quite get myself. Maybe someone’s been making fun of Ryuji-kun’s appearance?

>>FUTABA: Would something like that cause an Omega that much distress? Ryuji was really freaking out and he usually just…laughs it off.

>>HARU: Even if he could laugh it off, hurtful words are still hurtful, Futaba-chan. Something or someone must be saying something awful to Ryuji-kun, making him doubt his appearance.

>>ANN: I want names.

>>MAKOTO: Now, now. Let’s not make any rash decisions before we can get the whole story. 

At the messages, Ryuji couldn’t help but smile, feeling a bit better at seeing how much his friends care about him, dismissing his previous thoughts. He looked over at his PMs.

>>ANN: Seriously Ryuji, talk to us. We can’t help you if we don’t know what’s wrong!

Ryuji smiled at Ann’s overprotection of him. Just as he was about to respond, he got another PM from Akira. 

>>AKIRA: Are you okay? Is someone bothering you?

Ryuji’s heart twisted and suddenly, the tiny bit of happiness he’d felt was snuffed out like a light.

It was so nice to see his friends coming to his aid, but it just made the reality of it all much more painful. 

They like you enough to keep you around, they don’t like you enough to stay. 

With that thought, a whole set of tears started to fill Ryuji’s eyes and he had to stop himself from sobbing. 

He was going to be alone, he was going to be abandoned. He’ll have no one by the end of the school year.

Ryuji isn’t sure he’s strong enough for this.

Chapter Text

Come Saturday morning, Ryuji was still trying to recover from his insecurities and fears. He thought about staying in his room all day, trying to gain some control of his life after coming to terms that maybe he wasn’t the best Omega and that his friends - Akira- were better off without him. It was during this that his phone started to buzz and in spite of himself, he opened it to see one private text message from Ann.

>> ANN:  Meet me at the park.

Was all she wrote. Ryuji frowned, debating on whether or not he should go, but ultimately decided if he didn’t, Ann would most likely tear down his apartment looking for him. He doubts his mother would appreciate that. So, with reluctance, Ryuji quickly put on some clothes and headed to the train station to meet up with Ann. It hadn’t taken long for him to reach his destination and saw Ann was already there, sitting on the bench.

“Hey.” He said as he walked up to her. Ann looked up at him and quickly scooted over, indicating for Ryuji to take a seat.

“Hey.” She responded. An awkward silence fell among the two and for a moment, it didn’t seem like either of them had anything to say. Ryuji was about to ask Ann what this was all about - as if he didn’t already know - when Ann spoke. “Do you remember when we were kids and we first met?”

Ryuji blinked. That question seemed…out of nowhere, but the delinquent decided to entertain her.

“Uh, kind of? Everything’s a blur to me to be honest.” He said, causing Ann to snort.

“You were my first friend, Ryuji. We met in middle school, on my first day in Japan.” She said, sitting back and folding her arms across her chest. “I remember specifically because you were the only one who was nice to me.”

Now that she said that, Ryuji could faintly recall meeting Ann. He remembers the teacher saying something about a new student in their class and the first thing Ryuji had noticed about her was…

Her hair.

It had been the first thing all the students had noticed to be honest. Not too many people in Japan saw what a platinum blonde looks like, so to have one in their class was kinda neat. At least, according to Ryuji if you were to ask for his opinion on the whole thing.

“First day and you ran up to me saying you liked my hair.” Ann said, chuckling a little. At that, Ryuji couldn’t help but squirm, a little flush coming across his face. It…definitely sounded like something like he did, before realizing that guys could be pretty too. And before all his childhood memories were washed away because of his shitty dad. “You were the only one who complimented me…all the other kids didn’t really like me. That feeling only got worse when we got older.”

Ryuji could remember. For him, before there was a Shiho, it had been Ryuji and Ann against the world. The day when he made that vow was when-

“I remember seeing you cry,” He mumbled, causing Ann to perk up. “You were so sad because the girls kept rejecting you any time you asked if they wanted to hang out. While we may never know the precise reason for it, I do remember catching some gossip about your hair.”

In Ryuji’s mind, he could still see that small little blonde girl with tears in her eyes, wondering why a bunch of middle schoolers were being so mean to her. Even now, years later and in a different school, the image still makes his heart ache.

“And then you dyed your hair.” Ann said, her tone bleeding with amusement that caused Ryuji to scowl.

Because, not a day later after that event, Ryuji had decided to make his hair blond too in a way of sharing the burden with Ann. Unfortunately, the very first time Ryuji bleached his hair damn near damaged the roots and made him look a hot mess. Cue the sad little girl morphing into a hysterical fit.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up at my expense, why don’t you?” Ryuji sniffed, turning his head away as Ann giggled. 

“But for real, I just wanted to say thank you for that,” Ann said, giving Ryuji a soft look. “You have no idea how much you sticking up for me means to me. Especially when you tried to fight Shiho.”

Ryuji sputters, face turning red as Ann crackles.

“Hey come on, that’s not fair! I didn’t know you two were friends at the time! You just told me someone made fun of your painting, you didn’t tell me that was actually okay!” Ryuji said, still blushing as Ann continued to laugh at him. 

To be fair, Ryuji had a point. What kind of person makes friends with someone who just told them their painting sucks?

“A-and in any case, is there a point in all of this? Why are we going down memory lane for?” The false blond asked, turning the delightful mood a bit somber. 

“I guess,” Ann started, moving up so her elbows were on her legs. “I guess I just wanted you to know that whatever is troubling you now, I have your back. We all have your back. I just want you to open up.” She looks down at her lap sadly. “Haru thinks it’s an Omega thing, a-and I know I can’t be much help being an Alpha and all, but before the secondary genders, it was Ann and Ryuji was it not?” 

Ryuji could feel his heart squeeze, his inner Omega whining at the idea of hurting an Alpha, unintentionally or not.

“A-and things had been rocky ever since Kamoshida, I know that. But we are still friends and I want to help you. I-if someone’s bothering you, be it because of what happened with the track team or because you’re an Omega, I don’t want you to hesitate to tell me or anyone else about it, okay?” Ann asked, still looking down at her lap. Ryuji couldn’t help but scratch his neck, feeling a bit uncomfortable, yet happy to know that Ann cares so much about him.

Cares so much yet if you begged for her to stay, she wouldn’t. Ryuji flinched at the thought.

“…Yeah, thanks Ann. I know you want to help. It’s just…” Can you help me become a better Omega? “Can I ask you for your perspective as an Alpha?”

At that, Ann blinked. She has no idea where this question came from, but if it helps Ryuji, then…

“Sure! What is it that you want to know?” She asked.

“I…” 

What is it like dating an Omega society finds acceptable? How does one go about becoming the Omega an Alpha like you deserve? Is it possible for an Omega like myself to become worthy of an Alpha like Akira? Or am I just doomed to be Unwanted forever?

So many questions. Ryuji isn’t sure there’s enough time in the world to answer them.

“How…did you know Shiho was the one for you?” He asked instead. Ann blinks again, not really expecting that.

“Well…” She starts, blushing a little. “Like you mentioned, it started with the painting. I guess it would be a little weird to randomly start a friendship like that. But it was different! Shiho was being honest, and I guess she didn’t realize she was being rude because she started sputtering and blushing and apologizing to me. To me, in that moment, she had been very cute.” Twirling one of her pigtails, Ann added, “I think she’s still cute to this very day.”

Cute, huh? Did I ever have a cute moment? Ryuji thought and then shook his head. No, all I ever had were gross moments. My mom thinks I’m cute though! So that counts for something…maybe?

Ryuji suddenly felt worse than before.

How is he ever going to compete for Akira’s attention now?