Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Yokohama is a high-tech city, the most advanced in Japan, if not the world. Even with the boring daily problems, life is peaceful. Is, I would say, sweet as honey. Especially for those whose dreams come true. And you were one of them.

Just imagine:

A happy family where you are a rising star, with your parents supporting you and a brother you love, what more could you ask for? You had the best grades in your class and a few friends you would give your life for. You had your toys and stuffed animals that you cuddled to go to sleep, and every day when you woke up you could watch your favorite TV shows.

That would be great, right? It would if it were true. As much as I would like to tell you everything, I can only tell you that not everything is the way it seems to be. Beware of what you see...

As you regain your conscience, you hear the muffled cries of a baby.

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The faint scent of fresh vegetables fills the kitchen as you prepare dinner for yourself and your brother. You've thought of many things to eat tonight, but your brother's frail body needs nutrition, and what's the most nutritious dish of all? Soup.

Who is your brother, you may ask. His name is Osamu, a sweet little boy you love so much. He's fifteen, just a few years younger than you, but already mature enough for you to be more than proud of him. You find his round black eyes and silky brown hair so enchanting that you think you could die from such cuteness. It's always been you and him, at least as long as you can remember. And to be honest, you don't remember much about your childhood. 

Your thoughts are wiped away when you hear the click of the door to your apartment. You look around the kitchen: Everything looks ready to eat (and you hope you got the condiments right this time). You take the handles from your hands and walk out into the hallway to see your brother.

"How was work today, sweetie?" You say loudly, almost shouting. 

Your eyes land on him and all you see is a man.

His tired, impassive face stares you straight in the face.

The blood that covers his clothes stinks and mingles with the aroma of the soup. The feeling of déjà vu makes you want to vomit it all out.

The distant cry of an kid rings in your head. "Where is my brother?"

As you move your body, you get the feeling that the hallway is longer than it was. 

There are two voices screaming and pleading in your brain: One is telling you to run, the other is reminding you of your brother.

He is your everything. You think as your body involuntarily sprints from room to room. Your vision starts to blur and your body starts to go limp and you stumble and fall.

Your body drags itself to the last room.

The man's tired sigh is muffled by his own footsteps. He walks slowly like a snail, but with long strides that allow him to reach you in a very short time. He enters the room you dragged yourself into and searches it. 

The screams in your head get louder and louder as you finally feel the tears that have been cascading down your eyes. You stand up and see the man hand you a child. Your sweet, sweet little brother. You feel like you're going to faint with fear as you take the child in your hands, he's crying but seems relieved to see you. You try to hold him quietly as your legs fail you and you fall to your knees before you lose consciousness.

"It's all over," your brother's voice reassures you before everything goes completely dark.

Chapter Text

The time slowly passed since you last remembered it. You were cooking a delicious soup in the kitchen, weren’t you? But now, you are laid on your bed, tucked inside the comfortable sheets and covers of your bed. You move your fingers through the edge of the sheets and headboard just to be sure you are in your bed and that you are completely safe and prepared to open your eyes. And so you do it. The first thing you notice is that your night light is on. You take a look at the mushroom night light and smile faintly: It was a gift from your father when you were little. The second thing that catches your attention is the time: 2 AM. 2 in the morning. The last time you checked was about… 7 PM, maybe. But, you know that sometimes you just blackout randomly without reason and your poor, sweet brother has to take care of you. You sit on your bed, looking at the mirror on your wall and take a good look at yourself. You are… older than you remembered. the last time you looked at the mirror like this you were five.

You get up from your bed. “What a lovely boy he is.” You think giggling to yourself as you turn off your night light and walk slowly to the door. You peek into every room just to check if your younger brother left a light turned on, or maybe a faucet, or even worse, gas. He is indeed very responsible, you feel proud ‘cause you taught him so well. Now, the last room, you’ll give the sleeping beauty a goodnight kiss and go to sleep. So you make your way to your brother’s room and open the door. You enter and he is not in his bed..? “Dazai?” You call out for him and he replies immediately: “Yes?” Dazai, walking from the other side of the room, puts his bottle of water down and you notice his bare chest and that he was working out… “Oh! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” You stutter and close the door as fast as you can. 

“When did he get so big?” You ask yourself. He was a frail little boy in your eyes and now he is, he is… a beast, almost. Not to offend your precious little baby but what the hell happened? You hear him walking to his door and you run to your bedroom, locking your door. “He was like me… Now he is totally stronger and… handsome…” You lay on your bed and pretend to sleep as he knocks on your door “Ane¹!” he calls. “Ane!” 

Eventually, he ends up giving up and you end up sleeping.

You could’ve slept better and you know that, but you were so embarrassed and had so many questions that you just woke up many times during the night and now was one more of those times. But it was a waking hour at least to you. I mean 8 AM is a, no… it’s 11 AM right now! At least you are just a housewife, nothing more. You get up from your bed, grab your towel and go to the bathroom to take a long and hot bath. You want to relax, to forget last night and proceed your day as any other.

Your bath is indeed a very relaxing one, you feel like you just left heaven. Your body is wrapped in a long and soft towel and you are humming to a tune you heard at the market the other day. You can feel a sweet scent in your small apartment. Something like fresh strawberries and honey baked together, maybe a cake or muffins. You take your time to go to the kitchen, looking to the oven, seeing those appetizing muffins that were almost ready to eat. “You should not wander around like that.” Says that recognizable voice of your baby brother with a hint of indifference. You look at him over your shoulder, and see a slight blush on his cheeks as he looks at a strange knife you never saw before and you realize the view he may have had. “What if someone else was here?” He asks, but at this point you already ran to the kitchen door to go to your room.

As you enter the kitchen again, now fully dressed, your brother hands you a mug with coffee. Nothing too special, just what he would do for himself. “You know, Ane, I wanted to talk to you about some important things but not at home.” You drink a bit of that bitter coffee: he could have put a bit of sugar in the coffee and you hope he will do it with whatever he wants to say. “What? Is my baby boy dating a pretty girl?” You joked, sounding like an aunt at a family dinner. He looks at you with a bored expression while he puts the muffins inside a glass bowl inside a backpack. 

“I’ll wait for you outside.” Ouch.

You take the opportunity to doll yourself a bit more, you know, not to go too… plain. You grab all the things you need, that is, your notebook, your colored pencils and put them in your purse. “And… That’s all!” You affirm to yourself, just to be all sure. You leave your home and start walking down the stairs. 

“Dazaiiiii” You call your brother, embracing him from behind. “Did you lock the door?” He looks over his shoulder into your eyes, which you avert to any other side you can because you forgot. You indeed do not even remember closing the door. 

Dazai sighs, getting out from your arms. He runs inside the building to lock the door and maybe close it.