Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

-Joseph Joestar
His “stationery” is typically just pages ripped out of a well used journal, but that’s got its own charm to it too.
His letters are clearly not written in one sitting, just little thoughts and ideas written to you throughout the day, sometimes a bit vulgar in his honest affection towards you, sometimes sweet and creative. He isn’t the type to wax poetic…he doesn’t believe in that. He’s open, honest, and doesn’t dance around what he likes about you and what he wants for the two of you…the word that comes to mind is “blunt”. You can picture him so clearly with a little journal balanced on his thigh, tapping the back of a pencil against his chin in thought, plotting to woo you over with bold, showy words.
He’s a bit of a wild animal. You never know how much you can trust him and his little declarations of love but…he’s just so charming. You can’t turn him away when he’s so captivating. You’ll always make room for him in your heart, unfortunately, no matter what might happen, and you’ll treasure every letter and keep them stored away in a little box.
He’ll send a couple of short letters in one envelope every couple of months. He writes in a bold, confident cursive…he really does have an amazing mind, one of a kind…the quickest, cleverest, most confident man you knew.
You can’t help the way your heart flutters when he writes something like: “And when you read this sentence, I know you’ll smile and grip this letter a little tighter…”

-Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli
Such a classic, romantic man. You don’t just get sweet letters from your lover on floral stationery…he sends photographs and poetry, flowers and sweets he thinks you’ll like, sometimes you can expect a whole package instead of just a simple envelope from your favorite man.
His love language is definitely words of affirmation, and you can see it so clearly in his letters of adoration he crafts so carefully for you, filled with every ounce of his devotion to you.
However he is ALSO a passionate gift giver and he does not hold back when it comes to you. You feel a little guilty about accepting so many gifts from him, hence why he sends them in the mail…you wouldn’t hurt him by going through the trouble of sending them back, now would you?
His envelopes are perfumed with your favorite scents…expect lots of letters in his envelopes. He writes a lot for you, the words just pour from his heart when it comes to expressing his love for you, and he puts every word down on the paper to send to you.
And his poetry…if he knows you can’t read Italian, he’ll write it in Italian so you’ll ask him to recite it for you. His poems are long, too…so he can spend more time with you when he’s reading them to you.
He sends his letters at consistent intervals, so that you will always get his letters around the same time, every two weeks or so.

-Dio
Uses paper with beautiful, intricate gold detailings along the edges.
His letters are usually about a page and a half, written in large, elegant and complicated cursive.
His words are honeyed and sweet, a man who knows how to get what he wants, and somehow you can feel his overwhelmingly dominate presence just from his letters and you can’t help but submit to it, feeling reminded of his greatness, his grandness, how throughly divine he is…anyone would be weak to even just Dio’s words…and you are no exception.
If he’s a cage, your heart is a bird, watching the door slowly shut and yet making no move to escape, because the cage is made of gold, it’s so warm, it’s so safe, it’s so secure…the cage is better, the cage is where you want to be…you want the door to shut faster.
He writes so many words and manages to say nothing at all. Sweet nothings, empty promises, false flattery…all the while he has the audacity to act like you owe him your submission. And for some reason you eat up every word and lick the plate clean, in an attempt to savor every last flavor he had the graciousness to offer you.
You fall asleep with his letters clutched to your chest, treasuring the subtle scent of him that clung to the paper for as long as it lasted.
He occasionally scents envelopes with something akin to his own cologne, especially when the two of you have been apart for a while…it’s a great way to put you back in his pocket, as even a reminder of his scent is enough to remind you why you stay in his pocket…or in your case…his golden cage.
His letters arrive at his whim, typically when he happens to remember you, and how easy you are. Sometimes just a few weeks in between…sometimes too long for your own sanity, and you find yourself so desperate for him that as soon as his letters finally arrive you find yourself moved to tears merely at the sight of his personal seal upon an envelope.

-Yoshikage Kira:
One letter once a month on plain white paper in a plain white envelope, sealed shut with a single, simple heart sticker, occasionally scented with a neutral lavender perfume. Exactly one page long. He’ll leave it on your doorstep.
His penmanship is neat and clean, precise…he writes nice words…for such a quiet man who keeps to himself he does know how to sound sweet.
Something always feels just Slightly off when you receive his letters though. They’re written so nicely, and yet you can’t help but get the nagging suspicion that he’s holding himself back, or not quite believing his own words…like he’s saying it in an attempt to win you over, or keep your affection.
They are letters that are only worth reading once. You have no real proof, technically nothing is wrong with the letters…but you just can’t shake that slight pinch of doubt.
You would rather not read them. If he was being disingenuous with you, you’d rather it be to your face, since you don’t notice it that way.
He’ll only ask you about the letters a few days after they were delivered, just making sure you remembered to grab them and look over them and didn’t just leave them on your porch.
You keep the letters in a small box, tucking them up on a shelf somewhere out of sight, so you don’t have to worry about them too much.

Chapter Text

-Jonathan Joestar
I think his profile picture is something super cute, he has a few, maybe a picture of Danny, or a picture of him with Erina.
He posts really normal stuff. Random selfies and the latest news on Archeological discoveries. He likes every single one of Speedwagon’s posts.

Texting style: Pretty standard. He properly capitalizes and uses correct punctuation, and if he uses any emojis he just goes for the typical thumbs up emoji or normal heart emojis.

-Robert E. O. Speedwagon
His profile pic is definitely a picture of him and Jonathan.
He doesn’t post much, maybe just reblogging the occasional fundraiser or something particularly interesting one of his friends posted.
He likes every single one of Jonathan’s posts, and probably even comments something on each of them.

Texting style: The guy who’s extroverted enough that he thinks it’s easier to just call instead of sending a message.
When he does text he uses capitalization for emphasis but other than that he’s a standard texter. Likes to send those “good morning” gifs with the flowers and the sunrises and stuff.
The guy who replies .2 of a second after receiving a text.

-Dio
To me, his profile pic is of himself below the eyes, at a raised angle so the viewer has a good sight of most of his bare upper half.
He posts a lot of selfies, usually shirtless and with an emphasis on his back, and in a way where you can’t quite make out his face.
He frequently blocks the Joestars and then unblocks them so he can comment on their posts and then blocks them again.
He posts those sort of motivational quotes but they’re always slightly sinister and manipulative.
The guy who is always involved in some sort of drama and yet he’s so charming he still has a bunch of followers no matter what he does.

Texting style: I think he types in all caps. And if he doesn’t type in all caps he uses the speech to text but talks so loudly and says so many words that usually you’re going to get an incomprehensible message that he doesn’t proofread, so you’re just gonna have to figure out what he meant because he doesn’t repeat himself.
He also takes forever to respond.
Also a guy who might just choose to call you but that’s kinda a terrifying thought. It’s like a 50/50 chance that it’s something small you don’t have to worry about, or you’re about to get an EARFUL.

-Joseph Joestar:
I’m quite certain Joseph’s profile pic is a flattering selfie of himself
The guy who starts drama. But it’s usually something dumb, like he posts something really stupid and it just annoys people.
He’s also really good at arguing since his ability to read people and predict they’re going to do and say somehow works through the internet too.
Guy who Thinks he’s funny and posts cheesy memes he came up with himself.
Caesar often comments on his posts: “you don’t have to make a post for every single thought you have.”
When he became a dad to Holly he became the most annoying man on the internet. Cute that he’s excited to be a dad and all that but he posts a million times a day about what being a dad is like or funny experiences he had as he adjusts to fatherhood and he becomes the guy who posts about being a dad way too much.

Texting style: Guy who sends gifs and how fast he beat the Wordle. I feel like he sometimes sends incomprehensible texts and occasional voice notes but otherwise is a pretty standard texter, though text sizes can be from just a couple of words to huge blobs of text with no paragraph breaks.

-Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli:
I see it so clearly, a selfie of himself with a rose over his eye or mouth or something cheesy but cute like that
To me he feels like a standard social media user, selfies, sometimes with different girls, or Joseph, but lots of pretty shots of towns or the ocean, sometimes fancy foods and wines, sometimes him in various nice outfits, and he posts like some well-traveled gentleman. Most of his internet usage is spent on dating apps or arguing with Joseph online about something dumb. Entertaining arguments to scroll through at least. Something that could start with one of them commenting something like: “I could pull that outfit off way better than you,” and then you scroll down 150+ messages back and forth between them and now they’re arguing about their entire family bloodline again on a public post.
Guy who comments on every single one of Joseph’s posts whether it’s a nice comment or a mean comment.

Texting styles: Actually proofreads and makes sure his sentences are proper and flow correctly. Doesn’t really use emojis or anything like that. I feel like him and Joseph have funny conversations like this:
C: “Joseph, are we still on for dinner tonight at [insert some fancy restaurant name here lol] at 6 in the evening? I will make the reservation if so.”
J: “yeag 👍”

-Kars:
So many of the Jojo characters are so vain lol I also think Kars’s pfp would be of himself, something that shows off that magnificent hair.
Guy with a serious superiority but isn’t quite as inherently charming as Dio so he isn’t as popular and so his vain or controversial moments aren’t as easy to brush off lol.
When he isn’t setting off alarm bells with his weird freaking posts he does normal stuff like makeup tutorials, but gatekeeps his hair care routine no matter how much he’s asked.
The other three pillar men always like his posts at least. Probably the only people following him, too. And maybe Joseph and Caesar as hate follows.

Texting style: Somehow programmed his device to send every single message in italics and now he can’t change it back and he’s too afraid to ask for help at this point so he just pretends it was on purpose.

-Jotaro Kujo: when he was younger he didn’t really use social media that much but when he got older he started using his account to answer questions about marine biology, usually in a lot of detail, which is funny because when he does post it’s usually super curt to the point where it’s kinda ominous, like his posts are a little bit cryptic lol. He doesn’t usually post pictures of himself, in fact he only has one and it’s cropped where you can only see his eyes and hat and all it says is “soon”. It’s probably his pfp too. That or a picture of sea life or the ocean.

Texting style: curt and dry texter. Just expect an “ok” in response to most of your texts. Sometimes he uses emojis and emoticons but it’s kinda surprising. Like if he uses :) it’s kinda scary even if he didn’t mean for it to be lol. Not as scary when he uses a thumbs up emoji but still has you like…is that sarcastic?

-Kakyoin: His profile picture is a painting he did. He switches it out every few months to something new he painted til he finds one he’s really proud of.
He posts art on occasion, game and movie reviews, stuff like that. He might live-stream a few times a month, whether he’s just chilling and doing art or maybe doing an art tutorial, or practicing a speedrun for a video game or something.
He usually doesn’t comment but he will like and reblog his friends’ posts.

Texting style: Good texter. Responds promptly and texts normally, as in doesn’t bother with periods and stuff but his texts are completely legible. Sometimes uses cute emojis, like flowers, sparkles, and hearts. Don’t call him if he’s not prepared for a call he doesn’t like that and he’ll send you a text after the phone finishes ringing, if he doesn’t just decline your call.

-Josuke: His profile picture is an unflattering photo of himself with math all over it to make it look like he’s thinking really hard about something. His friends recommended it and he thought it was funny so he went with it.
Posts his outfits, and memes and stuff. Sometimes posts random thoughts he had, kinda like Joseph in that regard. The guy most likely to accidentally hit “post” in the middle of typing something.

Text style: He uses abbreviations and stuff, otherwise a very standard texter with a socially acceptable emoji use ratio. Sometimes sends texts with little screen effects, like the ones that put a spotlight on your message, or makes confetti rain down from the top of the screen.

-Rohan: His profile picture is probably a manga panel? Does his stand activate if you look at even a photograph of his art?? I’m assuming not so it’s probably fine-
I don’t think he really posts. Kinda just lurks. His account is probably private too. Just keeping up with whoever’s most interesting to him at the moment lol. But he doesn’t care for fortune or fame so he really doesn’t bother with making his identity known online.

Texting style: I feel like he uses the ominous “…” but he doesn’t really mean it in an ominous way, it’s just how he paces his texts. Also a guy whose emojis and emoticons are kinda unsettling. Rohan sending :) is so scary even though he doesn’t mean anything by it beyond he’s genuinely pleased about something.

-Yoshikage Kira: His profile picture is just him. Looks like just a driver’s license photo. Or a mugshot. His account is probably private since he never posts anything anyways, and doesn’t have many friends. He just keeps up with news and likes the occasional picture of a hand model, but that’s about it. He’s only ever made one post, and it was of a dinner he made.

Texting style: Nothing notable. A normal, maybe a bit dry texter.

Chapter Text

Joseph: He was always right, and always made a showy display of being right. You felt like you were barely your own person with Joseph around, he was such a star, always had to have all eyes on him, always the loudest voice, the most charming person in the room…it drove you crazy. He cast a large shadow, and you were always stuck in it, and what were you supposed to do? Tell him to not be himself? That didn’t seem fair. So you tried to respectfully and calmly breakup with him. He was a bit frustrated, but he probably could at least tell you had been irritated for a while by being constantly overshadowed by his powerful presence. He just didn’t realize How irritating you had found the whole thing.
In a way it gave you a bittersweet satisfaction. The one and only time you truly caught Joseph Joestar off guard was when you told him you thought this relationship wasn’t going to work out. He was annoying about it for a while, not really seeing why the problem was so big you had to break up with him. But he probably won’t want to waste much time on someone who clearly isn’t into him anymore. He can take a hint at least.

Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli: Nothing really seemed wrong. He was sweet, caring, loving…sure he could be a little vain on occasion but you can’t blame him for feeling like he was always on top of the world.
He was the one who broke up with you actually. He didn’t want to leave you completely without an explanation, so he tried to tell you why he had to break it off with you. But he didn’t really know how to make “I can just tell you’re not my true love,” sound like a solid enough explanation for why he’s done with you, especially without hurting your feelings.
But staying somewhere he didn’t belong would hurt him too, and you deserve to find someone who will confidently love you back, because you are a wonderful person who deserves love.
Still. It hurts a lot to lose your wonderful Caesar Zeppeli, especially for a reason you can’t quite understand.
You miss him a lot though. You had never had a man as perfect and wonderful as him, and you doubted you’d find anyone as amazing again…recovering from even a gentle breakup like that was hard when he had seemed like the man you were going to marry. You can’t help but keep him in your mind for a long time afterwards.

Rohan: This man eventually got to a level of high-maintenance that even you couldn’t handle, not to mention that sometimes his little personality quirks were beginning to wear you down. Sometimes he would do surprising things in an attempt to get a reaction from you, and the torment led you to wonder just how far he’d go for the sake of inspiration. He always called you his “muse”…you began to worry what that meant when you realized how Heaven’s Door worked. You didn’t want to believe Rohan would peer into your soul without your permission, or take parts of your memory from you, or even write rules into your very skin that might make you forget or remember things differently, but a nagging part of you thought it was a valid concern. And it was so frustrating having to apologize for your husband’s diva personality every time he got himself into trouble for his inconsiderate behavior. Though him going literally bankrupt after buying a mountain and the surrounding land for the sake of “a story” was probably your last straw.
At least before, you had been living comfortably even if it was difficult always being on edge around him and worrying about what antics he’d get up to next. But literally making you both bankrupt for the sake of potential manga content…that was too much.
By the time the two of you had been kicked out of the house, you divorced him. And he doesn’t really know how to handle it. But it certainly racks up his pity points, being completely bankrupt AND having his spouse divorce him in such quick succession.

Dio: You had always thought you were at least a bit special in the eyes of Lord Dio. He came and went from you as he pleased, which wasn’t Often…but frequent enough to feel like he must’ve liked you a bit more than his other conquests in some way, and he hadn’t killed you yet…so maybe. Maybe there was a chance Dio enjoyed your company and love more than the others. Maybe you were different. Maybe Dio wanted you more…
He kept you waiting sometimes, but that was just because he was an immensely busy man. He couldn’t spend every moment with you. That only made sense. You would just be patient and wait for him to summon you again, that was fine.
Though eventually you kept waiting and waiting and waiting. You trusted him more than anyone, so you kept waiting.
Not realizing that he had forgotten about you, put you out of his mind…he had no more interest in you, and you would never realize he felt like that, because eventually he perished while you dutifully waited for him.
Could it even be called a breakup if he had never even seen you as a partner?
How long were you going to spend waiting on a dead man who didn’t even desire you?

Yoshikage Kira: WHY would anyone ever break up with Yoshikage Kira? I can’t even begin to think of a reason (sarcastic).
He was just too much. Too much to handle. The hand fetishism was ridiculous…it would be one thing if he could keep himself under control, but he let his urges completely rule him most of the time when the two of you were alone together.
And he had almost no passion or ambition to speak of…
You thought at first you could relate to his dream…a quiet, peaceful existence where he just flew under the radar…you didn’t know he meant barely living at all. Always at home no later than eight, in bed by eleven…every single time without failure…there was no spark in your marriage, the flame that was never there to begin with had been completely doused til there was nothing but a dull thud in your soul, just an empty, slow pounding in your ears every moment you spent with him. In a way you felt like you were beginning to hate him. How dare he only show you love and passion when it was to your hands?
You gave him so many chances, so many hints, and yet he never made any effort to try and strengthen your relationship.
So finally you were fed up. You tried to tell him as delicately as possible that you thought a divorce would be the best for your sake.
Once he realized you were entirely serious, he did not respond favorably. No, he wouldn’t give you a divorce. In fact, if you tried to leave him, he wouldn’t let you.
You thought you were calling his bluff, thought the ever mild and unnoticeable Yoshikage would never dare try anything to hurt you…
You were added to the list of missing persons in Morioh, the only thing left behind of you being your hand, until eventually he disposed of that, too.
Your very existence…completely wiped from the planet…because you had the audacity to try and embarrass him with the threat of divorce.

Chapter Text

Rohan always strives to make you feel some sort of way with his letters…even if he can’t be there to see your reaction part of the pleasure that comes from penning you letters is imagining how you’ll look when you see what he’s decided to surprise you with.
They tend to come in little packages, since usually he tries to send you various other things with his letters…photographs and souvenirs from his adventures, sometimes in the form of various teas or candles or books.
He’s inconsistent with when he sends his gifts to you, since he wants them to be a surprise, but they’re usually never any more than two and a half months apart.
He will always scent his envelopes, and send you a small vial of whatever fragrance he used. Every letter he sends has a custom border that he draws himself, so each of them are totally unique, and significantly monetarily valuable, given who the illustrator and writer is (you would never try to AUCTION OFF his personal letters to you though, right??!!)
His penmanship is neat and tidy, like you would expect from him.
He’s not really a romantic man, even in his private correspondence to you, often opting instead to write about himself and whatever shenanigans he has recently gotten up to. You wouldn’t have it any other way. You’d rather hear his stories and about how he’s doing than read him trying to wax poetic to you about how much he adores you.
His letters range in length, typically from one to four pages, depending on his current situation. He’ll send you illustrations too, whether doodled in the margins of his letters or on drawing paper, tucked safely away in the package.
He draws you scenery, or pictures of you from memory, sometimes things he knows you like…and you’ll always get a special preview of his current projects. It’s only right that he shares his progress with the most important person in his life…and he’ll always value your feedback over most others.
One thing about Rohan though…he expects you to make good use of everything he sends you. And he’ll expect you to write back. He will literally not send you anything else until after he receives a letter from you, typically with no exceptions unless you are quite literally unable to write back or something of the sort.
Seems like a fair trade off to you…exchanging correspondence with such an interesting man is truly a delight, even though you feel you never have anything quite as interesting to share with him in turn.
To your surprise, he doesn’t ever seem bothered about the unfair trade-off. To him, your letters are perfect just the way they are.
He’s always relieved to hear you’re feeling well and living a peaceful life than stuck in life-threatening danger, no matter how interesting a story it might make.

Chapter Text

Joseph Joestar
You barely thought anything of him when you first met him. Sure he did have a sort of presence…tall and clever, almost too clever for his own good, with a quick temper and a bold flirtatious nature, when he wanted to show that side of himself to you…but you hadn’t really expected to see him again. He was just a chance encounter, just a handsome stranger who held a door open for you once, and maybe tried to woo you a bit with his tacky flirts and little tricks in an attempt to show off.
At first it really is just an innocent curiosity. He likes you and he wants you to like him, and your reserved politeness but general lack of interest in him felt like a fun challenge.
So he made an effort to leave an impression on you. Though the first few times you did coincidentally run into each other were actually not intentional, but he’d always play it up anyways, not being shy at all with his blatant, bold comments about how cute you are and how he’d love to see more of you, if you know what he means.
Soon it’s not Just a coincidence though.
Like he’s somehow able to predict exactly where you’ll be, and when. But it doesn’t make sense to you. He barely even knows you, how could he Possibly do that? And him acting like each encounter was just a lucky roll of the dice was enough to convince you to keep that nagging uncomfortable feeling to yourself.
And eventually his tactics work. You start dating him, and most of the time he’s fun and playful and even with his temper combined with his raw strength and size you’ve never found yourself scared of him. Joseph would never hurt you, even if you thought he was a little surprising sometimes. Joseph would never hurt you…he was nice…a little eccentric, but nice. Right? Right.
You didn’t realize. Maybe you could’ve escaped his web if you had noticed sooner. But he’s always ahead of you. He’s always had been. A man like him is hard for anyone to keep up with, you can’t be blamed for not seeing it. He’s been taking notes on you. Memorizing everything. Your schedule, your personality quirks, your preferences in men, your favorite coffee order, he’s getting close to a correct estimate of your measurements, too, just from his constant, deliberate observation.
He’s really got your number. His deep understanding of you helps him keep you happy! And completely under his control. It’s hard to escape from a man who knows exactly what you’re going to try next.
He enjoys the mind games. He doesn’t ever say exactly what he wants from you. You have to figure it out with his subtle hints. And if you don’t wanna play, and instead try to get away, he implies he’s not afraid to use physical pain with you to get you to pay attention. You can call his bluff if you want but…no matter how cute a demeanor he has, he was also temperamental, it really would be a gamble for you.
The truth is he wouldn’t actually hurt you. Maybe scare you a bit, catch you off guard and get in your head…but he doesn’t wanna scar your body.
He doesn’t have any need to lock you up, or keep too close an eye on you now that he’s got you wrapped around his finger. You’ll always come back to him, hesitantly, but always.
Trying to defy him just isn’t worth the risk. Even if he is bluffing about being able to completely ruin your life, you can’t take that gamble.
You can hate him all you want. He thinks it’s cute when you get all mad at him, in fact he’ll probably want to play with you even more if you’re feisty with him.
You can’t win any way. Submit completely and he’ll gloat, keeping you on his arm when he goes out, so that you’re nothing more than a piece of arm candy for him to show off.
But really he would prefer if you play along with this game of cat and mouse. No one is able to understand it. The two of you just look like you have some intense romantic tension going on, like you were exes with lingering feelings for each other.
The strangest part is, you don’t really know why he’s doing this to you. Honestly he doesn’t really know either. You’re just fun. Entertaining. Cute. He doesn’t want to let you go, so he’ll make it a game, and maybe even change your last name near the end. It’ll be his prize.

Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli
Sweet romance, a yearning puppy love turned into the obsessive desperation of a lovesick man…
It started out so normal. He was a lover boy, a common flirt in your eyes, at first. But how could you not give him a chance with his charming, romantic flirts, and a type of genuineness you didn’t normally see in the usual Casanova types? You let him treat you to dinner, and you really felt the kiss of Cupid’s arrow. Soon you were writing letters back and forth, going on dates, talking about your future together…he really was a genuine man. He wanted to find his soulmate, settle down with them by his side, maybe raise some children with them…the sweet dream of a hopeless romantic.
Everything is nice and fine. He never showed any sign before that there was something dark and obsessive under the surface.
You made it all the way to his romantic, grand proposal, a beautiful wedding where he cried and told you he was so happy he had finally found the love of his life…and then everything had slid into place.
He got you. You were his. You were his soulmate, the love of his life, he had finally found you and he was going to do anything to keep you by his side.
Really he’s much more of a danger to himself, dragging himself around and around in his obsession over you, circling you, wishing he could just put you in a bubble so he could keep you safe forever, and keep your love for him blazing as brightly as the day of your marriage to him.
But he can’t do that to you. He can’t lock you up and hide you away…he’s aware enough to know that that would hurt you, and it’s not fair. He can’t bring himself to hurt you.
He would let every last drop of his blood drip to the soil of the earth before he would ever intentionally cause you any harm. It is wrong to him to intentionally hurt the one you love.
So for him, his unhealthy tendencies come out in the form of holding you much too tightly in the darkness of your bedroom; or an intense, all-consuming separation anxiety when you’re out of sight.
He tries not to cause scenes, but he is fiercely protective of you. He gets extremely insecure when you even look at anyone else. He’s your man, right? You only want him…you married him and everything, it’s the two of you forever, right? He won’t stand anyone giving you any glances he deems lustful, and he makes it very clear you’re taken, staying close you you, holding your hand, giving you deep and passionate kisses in public…
He’s emotionally manipulative, but not even on purpose really. He’s just desperate to keep you with him, and if that involves getting on his knees and clutching your hands and begging you to stay with him with tears in his pretty green eyes while he kisses your knuckles then he will do so without hesitation. He just wants you to stay. He doesn’t realize saying he will actually die without you is an effective way to guilt trip you into staying by his side as much as physically possible.
A yandere you could get away from. He will not force you to do anything you don’t want, even if the mere thought of you leaving causes his heart a type of indescribable grief he cannot shake. He will probably shatter if you did decide you couldn’t bear to be with him anymore. But he will attempt to accept it. Attempt to respect your judgment. But he cannot bring himself to say goodbye to you, it will hurt too much.
Please just pack up and leave while he’s out of the house. If you have the time, you can give him the kindness of washing the bedsheets so your scent doesn’t linger when he spends his first night without you.
He really will never be the same. Like having a vital part of his soul removed. If you risk giving him your new address; expect consistent letters, sad and heartbroken but always wishing you well in your new endeavors, and he’ll often send you money, his way of taking care of you still…at least let him have that much.

Dio
(Yandere from hell oml-)
At first he couldn’t care less about you. Maybe you were one of his hired stand users, or a personal plaything, like so many before you had been for him.
Regardless, you weren’t really anything to him, at all. Just a means to an end. A tool for him. Cheap entertainment, at best, and he figured he’d only get some mild amusement at most from you.
But you were a fun toy, displaying a bit more personality than a majority of his preferred conquests. You didn’t Just roll over and submit to him like so many before you
Eventually, he formed a strange sort of fondness for you…he found himself mildly concerned for your well-being…which eventually escalated to you having a personal bodyguard in the form of a falcon constantly following you around, whether subtly circling overhead, or directly perched on your shoulder. Pet Shop wouldn’t leave you alone no matter what you did…and you couldn’t tell if the bird was just supposed to protect you or if he was also spying on you.
You had to be careful now. Pet Shop would attack anyone who got too close to you, and would absolutely murder anyone who he deemed a threat in any way. Soon the only place you could be that was safe for other people was Dio’s mansion. Pet Shop wouldn’t attack anyone you got close to in those walls…the bird would not pursue you inside…it didn’t take long for you to realize that was probably the goal.
Soon you were spending your days in Dio’s private chamber, the only entertainment in the darkness being the rare occasions when he decided to give you attention instead of his books, or when one of his servants visit his room.
Lord Dio permitting you into his private chamber, and even sharing his bed every single day with you told you exactly what you needed to know. You weren’t stupid. Dio liked that about you. You’d realize you were not being invited by Lord Dio, you were being claimed.
You knew better than to recklessly try to escape. There were always at least three servants in or near the mansion, not to mention most of your time was spent in the same room as Dio…and he could pretend all he wanted that he was deeply engrossed in his reading, but you knew he was always very aware of where you were in the room, and what you were doing. And his stand was truly monstrous, no matter how clever you were with your own abilities, you weren’t beating something like that in a direct fight.
You could observe all you want, memorize the habits and patterns of every stand user who frequents the mansion, figure out where the openings are…execute your escape plan while Dio was distracted…
But no matter how much you strategized, planned for every eventuality, everything that might go wrong, everything you might not have accounted for…this mansion was a prison you couldn’t crack. You were stuck. And weren’t willing to learn the consequences of a failed escape attempt.
But being alone with Dio in the dark for an amount of time you stopped being able to count…you found even your sanity slipping.
Finally you couldn’t bear it anymore. That cowboy looking man visited the mansion, and Dio was toying with him, and you had never seen a better opportunity to enact an escape plan.
You knew it was dumb and reckless…you had a good idea of how it was going to end…
And you still tried anyways. Trying as quietly as you could to sneak out while Dio was playing little mind games with Hol Horse.
You knew immediately Dio was aware that you snuck out the door. And the worst part is, he let you run. Gave you a head start…like it was just a game of Tag to him.
You got out. Left the manor, and avoided every civilian you could, for their safety…you knew he’d do something awful to anyone who dared help you.
He really waited until you finally let yourself relax…finally let yourself have the smallest glimmer of hope that the abandoned building you had hid yourself in was actually adequate enough to protect you from him.
As soon as he decided he wanted you to come home, you could practically feel the weight of his will pushing you.
You didn’t understand. You wanted to get away from him…why did your body long to go to him? Why did you walk like a zombie down the street, back to the very place you had wanted to escape from so badly?
He was waiting for you outside, a hand on his hip in that usual arrogant manner that you had grown to hate.
He smiled at you, like nothing was wrong at all, and beckoned you inside and despite your brain screaming no…you followed anyways.
He had your legs broken as soon as you stepped in the door, and he knelt by your side with your head in his lap, almost gently tracing a sharp black nail along the sensitive part of your upper arm. He softly told you not to scream, and despite the pain you could not cry out, because Dio didn’t want you to.
Dio wasn’t interested of informing you of your situation until he was certain nothing could be done about it.
A flesh bud made of his own cells…implanted in your brain…slowly making you more and more susceptible to his will.
This night was a good experiment to see if it was working.
You had made it so far…but as soon as he wished it you came crawling back to his side…
A resounding success.
You certainly wouldn’t be trying to escape again. Dio’s will trampled over your own.

Rohan Kishibe
(Like ok he’d be literally completely unstoppable right?? With heaven’s door and no outside help literally what can you do???)
His favorite muse, the pages of your soul were truly masterful, never had he met someone who had lived such a deliciously colorful life-
You had felt it all. The deepest depths of anguish, the purest ecstasy, the hottest anger, the most tranquil calm…all genuine, all beautiful, all lined up perfectly for him to read. You were the finest novel, and he was your biggest fan.
He wanted to annotate you.
At first he used his original strategy of only taking the memories he wanted, and removing any memory of your encounter with him being odd.
To you, Rohan Kishibe was just an eccentric artist living on his own, with an interest in interviewing you for the sake of his next one-shot.
But it wasn’t meant to last like this.
After only a few sessions, you were displaying symptoms. He thought he had covered those blank spaces in your memories nicely with false ones, but it seemed he was taking way too many. He couldn’t help it, even though he knew doing so had consequences. You were just too fascinating to let slip through his fingers.
You were sitting on a couch in his home, seeming less enthusiastic than usual, your gaze a little hazy as you explained you haven’t been feeling the best lately…
It felt like your brain had a deep, thick fog all over it, not to mention that you had recently been losing weight rapidly despite not changing your diet at all.
You weren’t feeling well…poor thing…though he hadn’t been feeling on top of his game either since he met you, finding himself having more and more sleepless nights as he lay awake at night wondering what he was going to discover new inside that immaculate soul of yours…
If only there was a way he could look at your pages whenever he desired, so he didn’t have to rip the interesting ones out and then scribble a false memory in its place…
It was a dumb idea. But it seemed like the most logical move for him…in a way it benefited both of you, since he wouldn’t have to rip pages out of you anymore…
He wrote you a new rule. And then recommended you just go to bed and try to sleep off your discomfort, to see if it would go away with rest.
You nodded, gently kissed Rohan on the cheek, and went to the bed and fell asleep, tucked comfortably in Rohan’s sheets.
There’s nothing that can be done. It was effortless for him to just modify the memories of your family, and make them believe this had always been the reality.
You and Rohan were a lovely couple. An eccentric artist, and his perfect muse…it was like a romance movie!
Really, Rohan was just weaving an intricate web. If it was a false memory implanted in enough people, with consistent information, eventually he could make it seem like a fact that you and him really were a couple.
There is no escape from Rohan Kishibe, how could there be, when you genuinely believed this was the situation you were meant to be in?
No matter what, Rohan was undeniably the winner. Sure he kidnapped you and tricked you, but you didn’t know that. And with the precision of his web, you never would.
He doesn’t treat you badly, though this is definitely an adjustment for him too. He’s not used to sharing his life with someone in this manner. It’s a little odd, sharing a bed with you every night, having you worry over his health, and holding him accountable for his actions. It was one thing when it was just him affected by his behavior…but now he had to worry about how you were impacted when he caused trouble or worried you when he got into a dangerous situation.
Ironically enough, his severe adjustments to your memory and situation had eventually resulted in the eccentric and outrageous Rohan Kishibe mellowing out, just a bit. Enough to be notable, at least, to the people who most frequently had to deal with him.
You’ll be with him til the end of time, devoted to him like a dutiful spouse…until the guilt eats at him enough that he decides to come clean to you about what he had done, but there was a very slim chance of that happening. He’s surprised at how much he was liking married life. He thought it would be ironic when the day he forgets that he never did Actually court and marry you inevitably came.
Excerpt of (a few) things written into your soul using Heaven’s Door:
-you cannot attack Rohan Kishibe.
-you visit Rohan Kishibe a few days a week for an interview
-your visits to Rohan Kishibe always go as expected
-Rohan Kishibe is your husband and your relationship is healthy
-You turn a blind eye to Rohan Kishibe’s unideal social habits(removed later)
-You turn a blind eye to Rohan Kishibe’s unhealthy and odd habits (removed later)
-You take care of yourself first and can worry about Rohan Kishibe later
-you leave Rohan Kishibe alone while he is working (removed later)
-you only look at and talk to Rohan Kishibe

Yoshikage Kira
He’s such an interesting case. Any Yandere tendencies are honestly something you see as just personality quirks in your husband, since you’ve been with him for so long and you’ve always known him as eccentric…red flags are a little faded to you.
He’s always so careful around you. Never acts out or lets his intense lust for blood ever show around you. He tries to keep his true intensity tempered around you. You’re just a normal couple trying to live a quiet life, he would love to keep it that way.
He’ll only show you his tendencies when he thinks he genuinely has no choice, and that is very, very rarely.
You’re so used to him being mild and calm around you, so when he does rip off the mask a bit, it makes an impression on you each time. Enough to surprise you into silence.
You were expressing your concerns over his intense fetish for your hands on a day where he was feeling particularly on edge.
It wasn’t anything unusual for the two of you, really. You feeling a little concerned over his infatuation with your hands was a common conversation for the two of you.
It didn’t usually go anywhere. He’d just brush you off and that would be the end of it.
But he just happened to be at the end of his rope today due to an irritating day at work.
You were both in the kitchen and he was cutting vegetables up for dinner and your frustrating prodding pushed him right over the edge this time, for a split second.
He slammed the kitchen knife hard into the cutting board, enough for the blade to get embedded in the wood. “Not tonight,” he said, hunched over the kitchen counter, the shock of the sudden outburst making you freeze like a frightened rabbit.
You couldn’t even form words…he had never acted like that around you, but your gasp was enough to pull him right back to his usual demeanor.
You watched a shudder travel through his shoulders as he took a deep breath, turning around to face you with a soft expression on his face.
“Please. Not tonight. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, I just have a bit of a headache right now.”
Of course you’ll forgive him. He’s just tired. He’s just got a headache. You can’t blame him for that, that’s all that happened there.
But still. Such an intense anger you had never seen from him before. You’ve seen him get a bit frustrated and even a bit snappy on occasion, but never nearly intense enough to have an outburst like that.
You’ve found yourself on guard around your husband.
Especially when you begin to notice some really odd coincidences.
He’s always hated being embarrassed or standing out. But only after the odd occurrence in the kitchen did you realize you never did run into that one acquaintance again, the one you met when he had tripped and accidentally spilt coffee all over your husband’s pricey jacket. In public. Everyone in that cafe had turned to look at him.
Yoshikage had really, really hated that. You pointed out he was speeding on his way home, and gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white…and it was like he didn’t hear you. He didn’t get out of the car when he parked in your driveway. You’d be alone at the house for a bit, and you had accepted it easily when he said all he was doing was dropping off his jacket at the dry cleaners and he’d be home as soon as he was done.
He really was absent for about the right amount of time, and you had considered his behavior in the car only a natural response to his stress and frustration over the incident.
But Morioh was a pretty small town.
It was kinda odd you hadn’t seen that guy who spilt the coffee since it happened. It’s been a long time now. Yoshikage had come home, still seeming irritated about his jacket, but much calmer than he was before.
His outbursts are few and far between. Far enough apart that you typically let go of any behavior you thought was alarming…just far enough apart you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s just having a rare bad day.
A yandere who doesn’t want you to know about his tendencies, and goes to great lengths to keep them hidden from you.
Really only as an absolute last resort would he dare harm someone in front of you, or even rarer, hurt you.
But in the case that he does ever manage to horrify you past a point he can fix…he might have no choice in his eyes but to kill you. It would be bad for you to leave him. He’d hate to make you disappear after so much time spent with you, especially because it would be really suspicious if his known lover of so many years suddenly vanished…but he simply can’t risk letting you walk out the door. It’d be a shame, really. But he’d be able to get a few days worth of time with your gorgeous hand.

Chapter Text

-Joseph Joestar in:
“His best friend’s sweetheart”
(Sorry but I genuinely feel like this fits-)

You were actually taken when you first met Joseph Joestar. Dating the man who eventually became one of his closest friends: Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli.
You were off limits. Caesar had established as soon as proper introductions were made that he wasn’t going to be sharing you with the clever brunette, no matter how charming you thought the pretty rich boy was.
You liked Caesar, maybe even loved him. And even if your feelings towards your boyfriend weren’t as passionate as they probably should’ve been, you weren’t just going to toss out everything you had with him to chase after a potentially troublesome guy like Joseph…even if he was interesting to you.
Caesar was good to you. He was traditionally romantic. A safe option. With him you would have a steady, clear future with a nice family oriented man who would love you and take care of you for his entire life. Your brain said Caesar was the man to go with.
Joseph Joestar though…he was something else. A wildcard, smart as a whip, rich, bold and direct in a way you never really saw in modern men. If Caesar was the safe option, Joseph was the most exciting, tempting gamble of your life.
He made it clear he was interested in you, too. But neither of you wanted to intentionally hurt Caesar like that.
Your desire for each other was growing to a point where it was almost unbearable. You both wanted it, just once, just to see…what Caesar didn’t know, couldn’t hurt him. You thought, at least. But Joseph became a sort of addiction for you. Sly kisses and subtle touches exchanged with your paramour when Caesar wasn’t paying attention.
Soon your attention was split…and not long after that you found yourself paying much more attention to Joseph alone, not ever having the energy or capacity in your mind to give Caesar anything even resembling affection.
He wrote it off as just a rough patch in your relationship, even if he had some suspicions about what was going on, he wanted to trust you. So he pushed those fears down. Told himself it was nothing and he was just being paranoid.
How terribly ironic that Caesar’s death unintentionally pushed the two of you even closer together.
You shared each other’s grief over him. Found comfort in each other’s suffering…but you both saw the irony in how you clung to Joseph’s arm while you both weep over Caesar.
Neither of you mention that horrible guilt gnawing at both of you when you begin having an official relationship.
Joseph especially doesn’t like talking about it. He doesn’t have anything to say. No witty lines, no positive spin…the most you can get him to say on the matter is just a: “he would’ve wanted you to be happy.”
True enough, you suppose…but you’ll never escape that guilt. You’ll never be able to apologize to Caesar for your betrayal…but time numbed the uncomfortableness eventually, as you grew older by Joseph’s side.
And you got your just desserts in the end when Joseph found himself another lover later down the line, completely betraying your trust…
And all you could think of was that you were getting what you deserved for your disloyal ways all those years ago.
You were still pissed though, and made that jerk spend most of his nights on the couch instead of the bedroom with you for about six months straight.

-Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli in:
“Childhood friends to lovers”

How could you ever forget a boy like Caesar? He used to be so sweet, the blond boy you used to play with in the afternoons after school. He was a bit rowdy, quick to get himself hurt, but he would always put a brave face on for you when he scraped his knees or fell from a tree. He would always try so hard not to cry while you put little bandaids on his wounds.
You have a distinct memory of a scruffy little boy, proudly holding a childish bouquet of spontaneously plucked flowers for you, dirt under his nails and in his hair, a proud grin plastered across his face.
You placed them in a little cup of water, and cried hard when they eventually withered away, and Caesar was so sad to see you cry, he decided he’d find you another gift that wouldn’t make you cry.
He would speak so fondly of his father. His green eyes would sparkle, anyone could see the admiration the boy had for his beloved papa. He wanted to be just like him. He promised you that someday he would marry you and have a big family like his with you.
Caesar’s father disappeared, and Caesar changed. You couldn’t find him, but sometimes you’d hear about an Italian delinquent with blond hair going around and beating people with a wrench, committing nearly every crime in the book. Even the age description matched up, but you didn’t want to believe that Caesar’s grief would turn the boy you admired so bitter.
You had wandered into him by complete accident. It had been a particularly long shift at the restaurant you worked at, since you had somehow gotten stuck cleaning up, and it was well into the night by the time you were locking the door of the restaurant, sticking your hands into the pockets, since the night was cold.
You were just trying to take a shortcut back home, using a familiar back alley that had never failed you before…you didn’t even think about it when you slipped into the dark passage.
You weren’t paying attention, just watching your step and not looking straight ahead. Your lack of attention resulted in you running right into a large man, and you yelped in surprise, nearly stumbling hard enough to slip into the snow.
If he hadn’t reached out and caught you by the collar of your jacket. Only to keep you from falling though. You could tell this man was incredibly tense just from his grip on your clothes, and his breathing, and you only half squeaked out an apology before the man almost instantaneously released you, taking a step back, muttering an expression of surprise.
The reaction he had to you was odd.
Enough so that it made you concentrate on the man, narrowing your eyes a bit at him.
And as the moonlight settled on his features, you realized you know this boy.
Well…KNEW…
He was a man now but…you’d recognize that combination of soft blond hair and enchanting green eyes from anywhere.
“Caesar?” you breathed out, almost not believing it yourself.
His hands move to your arms to keep you from getting closer to him, and he’s staring off at the ground so he doesn’t have to confront you directly, even in the darkness.
“It would be the best if you pretended you did not see me-” he mutters out, the shame evident in his voice, but you quickly overthrow his self-pity with your own excitement.
“CAESAR!” you shout, trying to get close to him, the suddenness of your movements taking him by surprise, so you’re easily able to get free from his grasp.
Your hands go to his cheeks as you move his face around, taking in his features, examining every part, like you were instinctively looking for injuries on him. “Are you alright?! Where have you been!? I keep hearing you’ve become a delinquent, but I don’t BELIEVE IT! You’ve always been…” your voice falters as you can feel the muscles in his face tense with your words, “such a…nice boy…Caesar?”
For an alleged delinquent, he took your hands so gently in his, and his hands felt soft. He hunches his shoulders, his whole body shaking while he kisses your knuckles, and you feel the warm wetness of his tears on your hands.
Caesar, the boy who never cried in front of you, now a common street thug sobbing into your hands, looking more frightened and broken than he had ever looked before. He had hoped you would never see him like this. But what did it matter now? He wasn’t the man he had once wanted to be, he had no future, let alone with you. He had already travelled down a path he wasn’t proud of, he had no more pride to lose.
He’s crying out apologies, and your hands slip out of his hands because they are shaking so hard, and you use the opportunity to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, patting his back lightly, and it feels like he buries his face into your shoulder almost subconsciously.
You begged him to come with you, he could spend the night at your place.
He told you it would be bad if anyone saw the two of you together, and it would only be worse if he was seen going into your house.
So like Caesar…to worry about you and your reputation before he allowed himself anything.
You insisted anyways, and Caesar had never been able to say no to you, letting you lead him back to your place by the hand.
It was so cold tonight, and your hands were so warm. He considered it wrong, you were too good, had a wonderful future ahead of you, and he was just a common ruffian. You shouldn’t be wasting your time on him. And yet. You took him by the hand and led him to your own home anyways, brought him inside, made him some tea…showing him the same love you had for him when you were children.
You weren’t going to give up on him. He was just going through a rough patch, but you knew him better. You knew he was a good guy. He just needed a little nudge in the right direction, and as his friend, you were happy it was you.
You were unofficially partners for a short while after his recovery, but he’s a traditional gentleman, and was pretty quick to propose the two of you start an official relationship.

-Dio in:
“Love that corrupts”

You were down on your luck, nearly out of money, all your friends were gone, and nobody ever seemed to notice you.
You really were living a pointless existence, just a lonely wanderer with no purpose but plenty of wasted potential…until you met Lord Dio.
His offer sounded good. You’d always have a place by his side, as long as you were willing to work. And working for a man as charismatic as Dio didn’t sound unpleasant.
The work was brutal. The first time you had to take a life for the sake of your mission was a moment you wouldn’t forget. A Speedwagon foundation spy has been sneaking around. Dio told you not to let them live. You tried to make it swift and painless but when you returned to the darkness of Lord Dio’s room to inform him of a mission complete you could feel your sins heavy on your hands. The scent of blood wasn’t one that washed away easily, no matter how much you scrubbed.
But Dio had taken your chin in his hand, and purred out praises in your ear for your job well done…and suddenly you pushed the guilt to the back of your mind.
It had to be done…Lord Dio was pleased, too. So it wasn’t all that bad.
You didn’t even notice that even the mere idea of Dio’s love was desensitizing you to the acts you were committing in his name.
If Dio was the one asking…no sin was too heavy to carry with you for the rest of time.
You would lie, cheat, steal, kill…whatever it took to keep him happy.
Yours was the type of obedience and loyalty he looked for in his lapdogs…So it wasn’t long before you were promoted, and kept as a right hand to him, and soon you were spending every second in service to him, devoting yourself to his pleasure and happiness.
It was a good life, Dio’s praise and approval soon became the only thing that mattered to you, and soon he was harder on you, pushing you to be your absolute best.
It was difficult, the first time you heard a scathing criticism from Dio…but it completely cemented your mind in submission to him, as he had planned. You had disappointed him. It felt awful. You felt sick. You would work harder next time to make him happy, go above and beyond expectations to make up for your pathetic weakness.
Dio had corrupted you. Turned you completely into an enforcer of evil, and you did it all for him, out of your great love for him, and genuine devotion to what you thought was a glorious cause.
He might even turn you into a vampire…to really make a point. Or better yet, you grovel at his feet and beg him to turn you…willing to sacrifice whatever you had left of your humanity to be by Dio’s side for the rest of eternity.
Who needed the sun, when your beloved shone just as brilliantly?

-Rohan Kishibe in:
“Divorced with lingering feelings”

He had been annoyingly, but expectantly indignant about the entire divorce process, with that typical arrogant attitude still intact, even as you were actively moving out of the house.
As soon as he had heard you wanted a divorce, he had scoffed, said you were bluffing, all upset over something you’d forget about in a week…as if your marriage hadn’t been deteriorating for a while now and his embarrassing behavior had finally pushed you over the edge.
You just couldn’t handle him anymore. You were sick of it, his vanity and his inconsideration for others was eventually too much. You thought he would change, but after a while you realized Rohan Kishibe would always be Rohan Kishibe. And he had the nerve to act like you were the unreasonable one…
Maybe you were…manga was his only ambition…and you were asking him to temper his passion for his craft. But still…he caused way too many problems with his behavior, and you were tired of it.
It’s especially awkward, living in a small town like Morioh…Because occasionally you’d run into him around town, at the store, the station, the park…it was annoying. You swore that when he wasn’t traveling he was a shut-in. And yet you had somehow managed to run into him at least once a month.
At first he was a brat to you. A classically trained expert of the “cold shoulder” technique, not willing to even look at you, even when you tried to be civilized with him.
That was fine. You didn’t really want to talk to him anyways, and you kinda expected it from him. It was better than him being loud and annoying and making a scene.
Your encounters were quiet, the two of you acting like total strangers to one another. Anyone could feel the room get chillier when you were both in it, but he was very deliberate in the way he ignored you, so much so that even someone who didn’t know the history there could tell there was some serious bad blood between you two.
You just went along with it. If he wanted to act that way, that was fine. You didn’t feel the need to try and salvage the relationship, he had pushed you away in the first place. You refused to plead for his forgiveness, or even a glance your way…and it obviously pissed him off, but he’d learn to accept it eventually. Once he realized you wouldn’t be begging for him to take you back and this divorce was very much a permanent thing and not just a marital disagreement he’ll slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) come to terms with the new arrangement, as much as he doesn’t like it.
It must’ve been a little after a year before he finally, quietly muttered out a “hi” to you, without looking at you while you happened to stand near each other at the store. He’ll make quiet small talk with you for a bit, just enough for him to make sure you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself, and then he’ll hurry off.
So it will go.
First only the occasional small talk. He won’t look you in the eyes for a while, but eventually he’s able to get his pretty eyes to look into yours.
And eventually the two of you are able to hold normal conversations, like you were just friendly acquaintances . He’ll ask for your opinion sometimes, and even share his manuscripts with you, like when you were a couple.
His mind really was brilliant…if you ever had to call a man a genius, it would be your ex-husband. And time and heartache doesn’t dull his marvelous brain, able to translate his grief into beautiful masterpieces. He’d even use his own suffering in the pursuit of making worthwhile art…it was so like him to do. You wouldn’t expect anything else from him.
The two of you still keep a healthy distance from each other, the two of you divorced for a reason, but you’re comfortable with an arm’s length friendship for now. Though both of you do feel the void left by each other’s presence if you spend too much time together.
Maybe in another life the two of you were compatible romantic partners…but you both could be happy as just friends, even though you occasionally miss the little moments when the two of you had a romantic relationship, like watching him do his little exercise before work, or his chaste kiss against your cheek on the occasions he left the house.

-Bruno Bucciarati in:
“JUST GO FOR IT ALREADY!!”

Bruno and you had always seemed close. Something that was a bit too intimate to be considered just good friends, and honestly the first time anyone in his team watched him interact with you they genuinely believed you were their boss’s flame…but he would casually wave off such a silly theory, claiming that the two of you were just close friends and nothing more.
Some “close friendship” you two had though…with the way you practically sat in his lap when him and his team visited your place, and seemed to have all sorts of inside jokes and secrets with each other…you had a sort of understanding of him no one else even came close to having.
Not to mention how he almost visibly dropped his guard around you. He smiled more, laughed more, relaxed more…simply because you were near enough to calm his heart.
And of course the incident where you both hadn’t noticed a few pairs of eyes on you, and you may have shared a very passionate goodbye kiss that was MEANT to be completely private. Safe to say, very awkward for Bruno’s handful of traumatized team members…kinda felt like they were watching their parents kiss.
It just really seemed like you were the one. His true love, soulmate, sweetheart…in the rare occasions where you spent a few nights with them in their moments of respite, you would even share a bed with him, just the two of you alone, your bodies intertwined in the ever elusive peace and quiet, the rare moment when he didn’t have to be a strong and fearless and confident leader and could instead just try and lay his soul bare to you. He usually struggled to share his burdens with you, as they weren’t yours to carry and he would never want to needlessly burden you, but you always welcomed him to share his anxieties. You carrying even just the knowledge of that weight made his immense stress seem more bearable. Of course he wishes he could spend his days with you, and all you need to do is call and he will come, but even with how blatantly romantic the two of you are with each other he continually holds off making the relationship truly official.
Because, frankly, you’re not part of the mafia, and it is a life he never wants to subject you to. He’ll use his power and authority within the mafia to protect you, of course, but getting you seriously involved with him…it’s like painting a target right on your back. If he made a powerful enemy in Passione’s boss, and he ever learned about you…he can’t even imagine what awful things might happen to you in an attempt to send him a message to those who defy the boss.
He’s practically a husband to you already; devoted to you no matter how long you’re apart, always willing to take care of your needs…he has many responsibilities, and he is loyal to those under his care, but if you need him he will do most anything to help you.
At this point you’ve probably resigned yourself to the fact that Bruno would never build a real life with you. He was never going to marry you. He would never even officially start dating you…that was just how it had to be.
He will always have a place in your home and heart. You could be satisfied only seeing him once every few months. Could handle keeping your love for him secret, the darkness of your bedroom being the only witness to the true intensity of your love and passion for each other.
But you want his wedding ring on your finger. You know he’s your one and only, but you secretly longed for the physical evidence of his commitment to you. You wish you could share a home with him, share your life with him, and build a real future with him by your side.
You never had to hide how you felt from him. He didn’t ever raise his voice or get frustrated at you, because you weren’t like his brats who needed a firm hand and tough love. You knew better than to act or speak without thinking.
Your head was in his lap, the two of you curled up on your bed, and he’s gently tracing his fingers along your arms and back while you simply enjoy each other’s presence after months apart.
“I wish you could stay…” you muttered, reaching up your hand and touching his cheek. You can’t see the details of his face through the darkness, but you can feel how his expression softens at your quiet plea.
Soon you feel the pads of his fingers lovingly pressed against your cheek. He traces your cheek so gently. He’s telling you he wishes he could stay too. “I will do whatever I can for you,” is how he says it, kissing the palm of your hand on his cheek. This is how Bruno showed his love. Through his protection, his unwavering devotion…anything he could give you, he would, but please…don’t beg for him. He simply cannot risk putting you even remotely in harm’s way. It is not a gamble he is willing to take.
But rest at ease knowing he will always love you, you are the one he dreams of when you’re apart, and yours is the name engraved on his very soul, and it makes him the happiest man in the world.
He knows it’s unconventional, but he will always appreciate your endless patience with him.
It might drive his team a little crazy though, knowing the man they all look up to is holding himself back from someone who makes him the happiest they’ve ever seen him.

Chapter Text

Joseph Joestar: That overwhelming confidence and playful demeanor is so hot, but if you had to say one specific thing he does that’ll always, ALWAYS be hot…
He does this thing where he rolls his shoulders, whether he’s stretching, or just showing off…and it’s irresistible. He definitely does it on purpose around you. He KNOWS it gets a reaction out of you, even when you don’t show it.
He’s very aware of how you feel about him, and he does love attention so…he’ll do it to tease and fluster you, or to keep your eyes on him. Combining his shoulder rolls with his bold flirts…and soon enough you’re a flustered mess for him, he loves that he can make you shy with just a few words and a simple stretch. He knows he’s hot and he Loves flaunting it and he Especially loves flirting with you.

Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli: Maybe it’s a bit silly but his irresistible hotness comes from his classic romantic gestures and words. You can’t help but swoon at every word and every gentlemanly act. Opening doors for you, pulling out your chairs, throwing eloquent compliments at you like confetti.
The hottest thing he does though? Well. A personal favorite has to be the way he’ll gently tug your hand to his soft lips, and plant kisses along your inner wrist, trailing up your arm a bit, and sometimes when he’s feeling playful he’ll give you a gentle nip. You’d never expect it from such a proper gentleman like him, but Caesar can be SO needy and clingy towards you. Expect many casual touches; and emotional, passionate touches. It’s commonplace for Caesar to hug you from behind and bury his face in your shoulder and murmur something about how he never wanted to let you go, and he wasn’t even half-joking.
This man wishes he could keep your heart with him always, cherishing and protecting it every second of his life, and he could show you his boundless love until his final breath.

Dio: There’s like a myriad of hot things Dio does, but some of his best moments is when he’s really expressing that God-like confidence. One of your personal favorites probably has to be when he just goes shirtless while he’s going about his routine in the mansion.
It’s just unbelievably sexy…a large, muscular man…shirtless and reading a book while sipping a glass of wine…you can’t help but lose yourself a bit.
Your favorite moment has to be when he’s lounging on the bed with a book in one hand, you lying on his lap, and him tracing his fingers of his free hand along your shoulders and back, almost like he was stroking a pet. It’s so…deliberate. He deliberately acts like he’s doing it absentmindedly. And when he does take his fingers away from your skin, you suppress a whimper from that sudden feeling that almost resembled rejection.
He just needed his hand for a second to take a sip of his wine. Shortly afterwards, black nails are tracing your skin again, and the brush of his skin against yours feels so pleasantly warm you move with the sensation, squirming in an attempt to get more of that feeling. He lifts his hand away from you for a brief moment.
“Hold still, dear…you’re being distracting.”
His voice has an undeniable authority, and no real irritation, just a sort of amusement that you’re this desperate for something as simple as a light touch.

Rohan Kishibe: Nothing Rohan does is hot (targeted attack against a personal favorite character). Ok just. Hear me out on this. Rohan has a couple of hot moments, but the two that come to mind are his eccentric personality traits and his body language when he’s relaxed or being deliberate.
There’s something oddly hot about that demeanor of his. He was arrogant, and in a way…self-centered, often having little regard for proper common courtesy or rules. His fickle temper was fun sometimes though. He’s cute to fluster and tease and play with, occasionally, until he gets too emotional and instead decides to lock himself in his studio so he can escape you. You can hear him pacing around in there while he mutters to himself, trying to figure out what the heck got into you to act like that. If he uses Heaven’s Door on you he’ll see that you just think he’s hot when he’s emotional or acting a bit “dramatic” as you’d say it. Well. He finds that kinda embarrassing, to be honest.
Another appeal is even though his outfits might be a little flashy for your taste…they sure do compliment his most attractive physical features. His open shoulder shirts and/or crop top shirts are especially flattering. He’s toned and lean with a slightly smaller build than most of the other characters, and you wonder if he knows just how effective the way he dresses is in accentuating his pretty shoulders and waist. You really can’t tell, because he complains when you give him attention for the way he dresses by kissing his shoulders or grabbing his waist, but if you don’t say or do anything at all in response he gets a little bitter and passive aggressive and will change how he dresses until you say something about it.

Yoshikage Kira: H-Hear me out. This is literally the only thing I could think of for him-
He can cook. You can’t help but think it’s kinda hot, watching him cook for the two of you. You like standing in the kitchen, out of the way, but watching him closely. He rolls up his sleeves when he cooks, and you must admit you enjoy the sight of his bare forearms while he works.
And he doesn’t really like cooking WITH you, since he has a system and adding someone else to the equation complicates things, so it works out pretty well…you can just watch the handsome man work, and then suddenly you’ll have food to eat. It’s a great arrangement.

Bruno Bucciarati: In risk of sounding crazy, I’m gonna say his hot trait is his tone of voice. He always talks with a sort of unshakable authority so casually you wonder if it’s just natural for him. And it’s kinda hot, he sounds so…in charge and confident, and when he actually exerts his authority by intentionally raising his voice and putting some force behind it…It’s hard not to feel a little excited.
He doesn’t boss you around or misuse the power of his position, but honestly you feel like you could be convinced of a lot of things if it was Bruno telling you.
He doesn’t quite get it at first when even just the sound of his voice gets you going but when he figures it out…he thinks it’s flattering, even though he doesn’t really see the appeal since most of the time he gets told his tone makes him sound like a strict mom.
But you love his voice! Especially because you know that tone usually comes from a place of concern. There’s rarely ever any real anger in his voice, and you know you can always trust him, so you don’t shy away from crushing on even the sound of his voice.

Leone Abbacchio: Manspreading. Just Something about how he does it…usually not even meaning to take up as much space as he does but…he looks good with his arms on the back of the couch, legs spread, his head leaned back, making himself comfortable.
Sometimes you tease him, and doing so might result in him making a point of stretching himself out even further, and if he’s in a good enough mood he’ll pat his thigh to invite you to sit on his leg.
Go ahead if you want, but you’re walking right into a trap. Sit on Leone’s lap after teasing him and you’ll find it’s his turn to taunt you.
He’ll sneakily slip his fingers against areas he knows you’re especially ticklish in, so you end up squealing and writhing on his lap, making an adorable fool of yourself.

Chapter Text

-Bruno Bucciarati:

Neither of you were really to blame for it. You had just been gradually growing apart, spending less and less time together, and in general having a harder time communicating.
You two were supposed to be a team. But he was always trying to protect you, so sometimes it was safer to keep certain pieces of information from you.
You didn’t need him constantly protecting you. You were more concerned about him, wanted to know how you could show him support…
It’s not that the two of you didn’t understand where the other was coming from, but with all the factors combining with your unshakable stances…it really didn’t look like this relationship was working out.
You still remember when it really dawned on you that you would probably be better apart.
The two of you were in another “loud discussion” (that was the gentler term you called your arguments) and usually he wasn’t a man who ever raised his voice with genuine anger at you, his more authoritative tone typically coming from a place of concern instead of genuine frustration…but this time was different.
He was actually just frustrated with you. So frustrated he raised his voice at you. He immediately regretted it. He didn’t like to yell. Especially at you. It was just a sudden outburst, but that had never happened before, not in the entire time you had been with him.
It made you really realize.
The two of you were much less empathetic to each other now. And that slow decline in emotional awareness towards each other had been going on for a while.
It wasn’t just him. You weren’t as aware of him either. Not anymore.
You watched his face. His eyebrows furrowed in frustration and he shut his eyes, taking a deep breath and pointedly exhaling it, trying to regain his composure.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry,” he sighs, placing his hand to his temple and rubbing the spot he touched, looking like he had a headache.
In the past, you would’ve thought to gently rub his shoulders, and ask if he wanted you to get him something to help ease his migraine.
Now you just quietly watched him, feeling your own frustration growing as you came to realize why things just weren’t working out anymore.
You mattered to each other. Of course. You would always want the best for him, and he’d always feel the same towards you. But at this point…the two of you weren’t really In Love. Not anymore.
You watch him. He’s sitting, head in hands, looking so frustrated with how he can’t communicate with you how he used to. You’re just not reaching each other anymore.
You give it a few days, just to make sure you have to do this.
And by your observation, your dreaded theory seemed to be correct. You and Bruno really didn’t have the affection you used to share. Everything felt like you were just going through the motions. Even when he’d hold your hand or kiss your cheek…it felt like it was just routine.
Even at night, you didn’t really snuggle with him anymore. Just kept to your own side of the bed. His soft breathing next to you still calmed your heart. You were just so used to having him beside you. You knew you’d have a harder time sleeping without him at this point, and you almost always had him close by to talk to or help you with things.
Still. You knew you couldn’t do this anymore.
And like you suspected, he’s shocked to hear you suggest a breakup. But you see it on his face a moment later. He gets it. He understands completely that the two of you have been drifting apart for quite a while now, and if you didn’t feel like you were getting the love and attention you deserved, he thought it was perfectly fair of you to consider ending the relationship.
He would try to mend your relationship first though. Try to give you more attention and be more aware of your needs, even though he already stretches himself thin enough dealing with his team and job.
But if there’s nothing he can do to change your mind, and the two of you can’t make that reconnection then…he will let you go with grace. He will miss you, and he’ll notice your absence, but if you’re both not happy then it would be foolish to beg you to stay.
He will wish you the best, putting on that strong and brave face you were so familiar with. It’s a graceful departure, even though it hurts both of you.

Leone Abbacchio: You knew him from the beginning. He was your bright-eyed high school sweetheart, and your days spent by his side made you really believe he was the man you were going to marry.
You saw his decline. His descent from an optimistic and hard working boy to the temperamental and alcoholic man he was today.
You tried as hard as you could to be a supportive and loving partner to him. He was just going through a rough patch…it would be okay. But it hurt to see him like this. Always pushing you away and drowning himself in a bottle…he was Destroying himself and no matter what you tried he wouldn’t open up and let you in and confide in you, or even let you try to comfort him.
You got fed up finally when he actually told you to shut up while you were just trying to have a serious conversation with him about your concerns for him.
You had to stand up for yourself eventually. You knew he was suffering and completely miserable and jobless and a prisoner to his alcoholism, and the thought of leaving him in such a state left an awful taste in your mouth.
But your own mental state was deteriorating from all your time spent trying to reach him. You needed some space.
He didn’t even look at you while you packed your things. You wondered if he even noticed what you were doing, but by the time you were wheeling your suitcase towards the door, he was waiting for you, arms crossed and leaning against the wall. His golden eyes won’t look at you directly, and your heart aches at the sight of him.
Is he ashamed? Feeling guilty? You don’t know. You don’t understand him anymore.
“You leaving?” he asks. His words are casual but his tone is so defeated.
You nod and turn away from him, reaching for the doorknob.
He sighs.
“Goodbye, Leone,” you mutter.
“Mm.”
You don’t look back at him. This relationship clearly wasn’t going anywhere and no matter how much you loved him, you couldn’t help a man who didn’t want to help himself.
Your relationship was moving backwards, and neither of you could stay somewhere you didn’t belong.
You truly hoped that your absence might push him to start taking care of himself, even just a bit more. But your concern quickly overrode your strength to avoid him, and you soon asked a certain Bruno Bucciarati to check on your old flame. Maybe he could talk some sense into him in a way you couldn’t.

Chapter Text

-Prosciutto in:
“Old married couple vibes”

How fitting, given how his stand operates. But it really is the case that the two of you act like an old married couple that always argued but loved each other very much.
You two probably go to bed by eight and then in the morning he reads the newspaper out loud to you while you crochet a scarf for him.
Your fights get LOUD and NASTY. You both say some THINGS and you rarely ever hold back with each other. Usually the other members of la squadra can ignore you two when you’re in private, but sometimes you two will even start up in a restaurant or some other public place, and if it escalates enough then Nero might have to step in and tell the two of you to cut it out. In the heat of the moment you both turn to him and shout “STAY OUT OF THIS!” before you realize who you just screamed at and you both shut up and sit back down, though not without irritated glares at each other and the mutual cold shoulder.
But you two also really like each other, so when you’re upset at each other you need to remind yourselves. Sometimes it’s tempting to curl up against his side or on his lap and kiss his chest, but then you remember you were upset at him for something and decide against it instead.
Despite how seemingly unstable your relationship is, he is a possessive and protective lover. Very much acts on the belief that he’s the only guy who can be mean to you, or give you tough love. He will legit get angry if someone is even slightly rude to you, but he’ll also get angry if someone is Too nice to you. And he’s so Aggressive too. You can’t count the amount of times he’s roughly grabbed someone by the collar of their shirt and forced an apology out of them, sometimes for nothing more than accidentally bumping shoulders with you.
You think he has anger issues, but he doesn’t think so, or he’s just in denial. What does it matter, anyways? He’s a member of an assassination division of Passione. He Should be scary and mean and aggressive. It’s not like he ever actually means to hurt you with his behavior, so it’s fine in his eyes. But he does actually feel a bit of guilt when he manages to really hurt your feelings or scare you, though he doesn’t usually show his remorse unless your marriage is on the actual brink of collapse. A man who very obviously has a hard time talking about his emotions, it is PAINFUL to watch him try and talk something out with you but you know if he didn’t care about you he wouldn’t try at all, so you appreciate that he does try to lower his guard around you and open up, even just a tiny bit. It never lasts long before he gets frustrated and gives up, but getting the world’s grouchiest man to even try to be vulnerable in the first place is Quite the accomplishment.

-Diavolo and Doppio in:
“Caught the mafia boss’s eye”

Despite how meticulous and paranoid he might be, Diavolo does have a weakness for sweet, lonely things in need of some company for an evening. He thinks he knows better than to fall in lust when he has his current goals in place, and yet when the opportunity presented itself he was all too eager to enjoy a night with you (under a false identity, of course).
It was just supposed to be a one-time thing. He should’ve been satisfied. Should’ve cut off contact right there and have you killed for his anonymity’s sake…but the leader of Passione had a type of fondness for you that somehow prevented him from properly entertaining the idea of silencing you. So a new plan was needed, and at first he simply bought your silence, gave you expensive gifts and funded a lavish new lifestyle for you, even getting direct protection by the Italian mafia. It was a comfortable and pleasurable life, but you rarely ever saw him. He’d only communicate to you through messengers, and the only one he trusted for important messages was the underboss: Doppio.
You weren’t stupid though. You put two and two together, and told Doppio to give your regards to your old lover, and tell him you missed him.
You were figuring out more and more. You knew his face. He was funding you out of his own pocket because he couldn’t bring himself to end your life-
You really were his weakness-
He changes his tactics, and his lust for you mixed with an almost genuine affection and concern for your well-being. Soon his was the face you woke up to every morning.
His new strategy wasn’t to simply buy your silence. Now he could keep an eye on you personally at all times, and for the days when you longed to go in public on dates or shopping trips, Doppio could satisfy those wants for you.
It’s an adjustment, but Doppio wasn’t unpleasant company. Though he definitely didn’t have the same type of twisted appeal that drew you to a throughly domineering man like Diavolo. And it was a bit irritating having a guy you didn’t respect nearly as much constantly monitoring your bare minimum allowed social interactions, so you didn’t give away any piece of information about the boss’s identity.
Honestly his plan for you worked out for both of you, and as long as you didn’t nag too much about going out on dates or begging for more money than your usual allowance the two of you got along well, even though you found his immense paranoia difficult to deal with on occasion.
The hardest part was cutting off communication completely with everyone from your past life…friends, family, coworkers…after all, you were Diavolo’s lover now…and with him taking care of you, there was no need for you to work, and friends and family were unnecessary.
He was thorough in completely erasing every possible way of tracking you, going as far as setting your old apartment aflame, forging you a false identity, and slaughtering a particularly nosy ex of yours, leaving a message that you were under the Passione boss’s protection now, and there would be consequences for anyone who tried to find you.
You were in too deep to turn back now. But you felt some shame at the lengths you really went for one terrible man who barely seemed to love you back.
You could only laugh at the irony of it all. Because a part of you did enjoy having him all to yourself, and being literally the only living person who has been privileged enough to enjoy quality time with such an untouchable man brought you some sick pride sometimes, even though you found him difficult to get along with the more secure you got in your relationship.

-Cioccolata in:
“Matching each other’s Freak”
(Apologies in advance. But I can’t get it out of my head how morbidly intriguing it is-
Cioccolata was So Bad. Now imagine if there were TWO-)

Honestly he’s amazed he managed to find someone out in the wild who can match his energy, instead of having to make one on his operating table.
What are the chances he managed to find a person just as bad as him?!??
Even Diavolo finds you much too deranged and brutal, and the last thing he needed was to deal with TWO unwieldy and self-serving monsters-
But you were born with a powerful stand ability, which made you valuable.
And as a duo, you and Cioccolata were very efficient, when he could actually get you to listen to orders. Your brutality combined with Cioccolata’s and Secco’s perfect execution was undeniably effective when someone needed to be taken care of and lessons had to be taught.
You left a bloody trail wherever you went. Usually your victims were unrecognizable, and it was your murderous methods that inspired Cioccolata to deliver that traitorous la Squadra member back to his team in thirty-six pieces.
You had joined Passione in your pursuit of seeing the mad surgeon again, as you had happened to work in the same hospital as him when he was a doctor, and you were a fan of his handiwork. The two of you immediately hit it off on your first mission for Passione together as members of Diavolo’s elite guard.
Shortly afterwards, Diavolo sent Doppio on a discreet mission to check on the members of the special squadron, and to his surprise, you and Cioccolata had already gotten hitched. He couldn’t stomach listening to the two of you for very long, but he confirmed for Diavolo that his last resort stand users were doing perfectly fine, and seemed too distracted with their honeymoon to think about mutiny, for the time being at least. He didn’t want to imagine what the two of you were going to get up to, but now he truly understood the meaning of the phrase: “there’s someone for everyone.”
But yes, the two of you absolutely feed into each other’s terrible behavior. Make each other worse, in a way, since you give him wicked ideas, and vice versa.
But you do genuinely make each other happy. He doesn’t realize it but your absolutely abhorrent company is the only other thing in this world that can bring him genuine pleasure in the way tormenting and taking life does. He actually looks forward to interacting with you, and even puts effort into impressing you and making you happy in his trademark gruesome way.
Sure literally everyone who knows Anything about either of you avoids you like the plague, but what does that matter when you have each other? You’re never truly alone now that you’ve met a man who truly understands you on such an intimate level. He’s really the only one who ever could, and you’ll stick by his side until the unlikely event one of you grows bored of the other and decides to kill them for some momentary gratification.

Chapter Text

-Joseph Joestar: A man who has no right getting jealous, but will anyways. Never a super intense jealousy, I think it would take quite a bit of boldness from another person flirting with you before he gets jealous enough to step in. Though when he does get jealous he’ll play it off really passive-aggressively, with that usual arrogant charm of his. “Oh I’m sorry (he’s not sorry), my date and I (he puts a hand on your hip) were just LEAVING (he gives you a pointed look that asks you to play along), let’s go, DEARIE ( a nickname he uses for you when he’s a bit miffed)” and before you know it you’re being dragged away by a massive British man. It’s a bit embarrassing really…because he Does start fights over you, and he always acts so proud of himself too-
It is kinda funny to see him acting all smug over winning a fight (easily, since he’s huge and muscular and a really good fighter) and then immediately getting dragged off and scolded by you. His sudden shift from that confident and arrogant guy to a nervous and apologetic mess is entertaining to see.
You do think it’s kinda sweet that he cares enough for you to actually get jealous, but you also know it’s kinda just a pride thing for him. He’s always been a man who takes things pretty far, always been a bit wild and untamable…and you liked that about him…but you always knew it would get him in trouble, and usually you were the one picking up after him when he lets his jealousy get the best of him and he ends up causing a scene.

-Rohan Kishibe: Man who fervently denies being jealous but gets jealous easily and all the time. He gives off weird vibes so sometimes people just ask: “is this guy bothering you?” if they don’t recognize him or can’t tell your in a relationship with him and wow does it make him mad. He goes into one of his little rants about how he is your partner and it is completely rude to assume he was bothering you just because he doesn’t coddle you like some other men would their partner. But honestly can anyone be blamed for thinking he was a little sketch? He typically doesn’t talk to you very nicely, and he looks like an odd individual just following you around.
Beyond people, he also gets strangely jealous when you show animals more attention than him. You stopping to pet cats or dogs on your little strolls with him, and he’s just glowering a short distance away. A full on SCOWL. He gets so annoyed when you coo and pet and hug an animal for too long in his presence. Probably because he thinks you prefer the type of love and affection animals can give you over the type he gives you. He knows he’s grouchy and irritable and sometimes struggles to say nice things, so in a way it makes him feel self-conscious. But he thinks that’s stupid, so he doesn’t use his words and instead acts jealous, making petty comments about how ridiculous it is that he must share your affection with animals and he’ll even shoo animals away from the two of you sometimes. You think it’s silly. And you can easily tell what’s going on, no matter how hard he tries to deny it.

-Bruno Bucciarati: (Bruno is so hot when he gets protective oml-) He’s a mature man, and doesn’t often give in completely to his unpleasant feelings and emotions, and jealousy is no exception. You will Not catch this man embarrassing himself by causing a fuss over something small. Someone flirting with you at the bar and even buying you a drink? Not a big deal. He trusts you, and he knows your heart belongs with him and he would never want to be one of those jealous lovers constantly smothering their partner.
When it does get to the point where he steps in, it’s when someone starts getting too handsy and cozy with you.
You still remember the first time Bruno intervened out of jealousy.
It hadn’t been a big deal at first, some inexperienced guy somehow let his friends convince him to try and talk to you at a restaurant. Bruno had stepped outside for a minute to take a work call, and either this guy hadn’t realized Bruno was your husband, or saw Bruno leaving as the perfect opportunity to swoop in and make his move.
You sip your wine, minding your own business and waiting patiently for your busy man to return, when your peace is rudely interrupted by some guy who thinks he can just come up and talk to you. You can’t help but find it a bit funny…surely this guy just didn’t know who you were? You let him make a fool of himself for a bit.
First there was his pathetic attempts at complimenting you, telling you your eyes were mesmerizing and you were like the sun and-well you didn’t pay much attention for very long, just nodding along with what he said.
You hadn’t noticed Bruno had walked back into the room. He was waiting, watching for a moment, knowing you were eventually going to send that guy away, but at first he thought it was a bit amusing too. Yes, that guy definitely didn’t know you were mafia, and that Bruno was your husband.
When you notice Bruno’s presence, you relax a bit, and this guy who couldn’t take a hint for some reason thought it was because of him and tried to shoot yet another shot.
He dares to invite you to dance with him.
You say you have two left feet.
He insists.
You say no.
This time he laughs and says that you were just being shy, and he reaches down and grasps your wrist and you realize this brat is gonna try and drag you into a dance.
Your attention had been so focused on the stranger, that you hadn’t noticed Bruno getting increasingly irritated at the audacity of your fanboy.
Before you make a move to break free from him, the sound of Bruno’s open palm slamming onto your table immediately focuses your mind on the man you’d much rather be dancing with.
Bruno wasn’t a PDA type of man, with the most he’d usually give you being just some handholding, or your arm wrapped around his, but now-
He had angled himself in such a way that your face was practically pressed into the exposed parts of his chest while he was turned just enough to shoot daggers at the man who had the nerve to try to drag you out of your seat.
You could feel the eyes of the patrons in the restaurant, the ones who knew Bruno watched carefully. They knew it took a lot to get Bruno to cause a scene in a restaurant, and some were morbidly curious to see where it might go, now that he’s finally been pushed there.
It was a moment’s lapse in his usually controlled demeanor, but his eyes remained sharp against the man, who backed up instinctively at Bruno’s interference.
“Mind if I cut in?”
You know Bruno better than anyone, and right now you can hear the irritation in his tone, and you realize this is the first time anyone’s been quite so bold trying to get your attention in front of him.
“Well, I, uh…we were gonna dance…” the guy stammers out. Despite not knowing who Bruno was, he could tell he should feel intimidated right now.
Bruno is already holding his own hand out to you, and when you take it, he helps you to your feet gently, keeping a much closer proximity to you than he usually would.
“You’d better get in line then,” he replies, not hiding the displeasure in his voice, but you can already tell he’s calming down a bit now that he’s got your hand in his.
This guy doesn’t even know what to say, just kinda stands there stammering like a fool while Bruno slides his hand down to your lower back, eliciting a small shiver and gasp from you, very effectively displaying the intimacy of your relationship.
He lifts your left hand up with his right, almost like the two of you were going to dance right there, but you recognized he was very purposefully just emphasizing his wedding ring on your finger.
“Bruno,” you hiss when the man awkwardly scurries off. He really was making a scene and it was embarrassing, despite how much you loved this side of him you rarely got to see.
You can practically see Bruno snap out of it, and he clears his throat and finally untangles himself from you and calls for the check, but he doesn’t apologize for causing a bit of chaos, because he doesn’t regret it.

-Guido Mista: He’s quick to jealousy, and his disposition means his jealousy is gonna be the problem of everyone in his vicinity.
At first it’ll start with intense glares at whoever he’s concerned about, and even you, kinda trying to goad you into telling whoever’s getting too cozy to piss off.
You’ll notice Guido lays on the physical affection very thick to try and leave a message. His hands are on you, practically pulling you into his lap, very intentionally placing his hands in positions to suggest the romantic nature of your relationship.
He whispers in your ear and rubs your shoulders and back and doesn’t even hesitate to badmouth whoever’s bothering him.
He might even start fights, usually never hurting someone too seriously, but not shying away from giving them a scare at least. (The proper way to handle someone making moves on your sweetheart is to inform the offender that you have a firearm.)
You find it embarrassing, but you’re flattered he feels so strongly about you. And you know it comes from a genuine protectiveness, but also a bit of possessiveness, given his unfamiliarity with serious relationships and his anxiety that he might lose you.
A guy who can learn to mellow out a bit as you become more comfortable in your relationship, but he’ll always be a bit fiery, and quick to act, especially when you’re involved.

-Leone Abbacchio: Probably at first bottles up any jealousy he feels. Just add it to the insecurity pile. He already has such low self-esteem.
He feels like he’s not good enough for you…you deserve a man who can actually give you that emotional intelligence and kindness you deserve…honestly you’d be much better off with a guy like Bucciarati than him, and he cannot help but feel that every time he hurts your feelings or makes you frustrated, or even when he swears you seem more relaxed and comfortable around Bruno instead of him. You’re probably just settling for him.
For some reason you’re pursuing a relationship with him, probably for some superficial reason he can’t see yet. Maybe you just liked his body, or you enjoyed how pathetic he was. No matter how much the two of you fought, he would Always come crawling back to you, a desperate man who couldn’t give up the only person who let him into their bed and showed him some genuine compassion, even though he couldn’t fathom why. Jealousy from him translates into irritability, a lot of it internally, mentally tearing himself to shreds for being so pathetic. But also externally, more likely to say something like: “THEN JUST LEAVE,” or “find someone else,” when the two of you have an inevitable argument. And sometimes it’ll result in an unfounded accusation, something like: “I know you’d rather have literally anyone else, but for some reason you think you’re stuck with me.”
It says a LOT more about him than you, but it still hurts your feelings that he might actually believe that.
Of course you want to be with him. He matters so much to you, he just doesn’t let himself see that. But deep down, he knows if you really didn’t want to be with him, there was nothing stopping you from moving on.
You need patience with him, but also firm and honest. He’s Really bad at opening up himself, but if you do it, he’ll try to do the same. Only because it’s fair.
It’ll eventually get through to him how you feel about him, and someday he’ll come to terms with how much he genuinely cares about you, and how he wishes for a future with you.

Chapter Text

-Formaggio: Besides the blatant animal abuse, he also does that really obnoxious thing where he eats whipped cream right out of the can. Staring at him with horror or disgust will not dissuade him, might even encourage him honestly. He likes doing stuff just to get a reaction out of you, which is Another problem. Sometimes he’ll shrink your furniture just to mess with you. And he totally shrinks you too, but only a bit, and only when he thinks it’s funny, such as when you’re trying to reach something on a high up shelf. Jerk.

-Illuso: He’ll just invite himself into your apartment whenever he wants. You’ll get home, and hear your shower running, and unfortunately he’s done this enough times you don’t bother with freaking out or rushing him to get out of your shower or begging him to not use all your shampoo this time. You just go in there while he’s showering and flush the toilet so the shower water gets really hot for a minute. He has SOME NERVE getting mad at you for that. Doesn’t he have his OWN shower somewhere?? But Nooooo it’s More Romantic and intimate or something to use yours, and the bastard even uses your towel-
You curse that he is a professional assassin…no matter how thoroughly you locked the doors, Illuso would find a way in, and make himself right at home.

-Prosciutto: He never learns how to speak nicely to you, smh. Sure he’s not as horribly harsh as when you were just acquaintances, but he’s still very. Mean. It’s just how he is…you gotta wonder if he even hears himself sometimes. Whether it be mean names, bossing you around, or just generally talking harshly to you he is Always so MEAN in a way that definitely goes past “tough love”. And he gets very dismissive if you try to say anything, but at least he can tell when he goes too far and severely hurts your feelings, and he’ll Try to tone it down just a bit for the sake of his marriage. Getting an apology out of him is nigh impossible but at least he’s not bullying you over nothing constantly anymore.

-Pesci: He’s honestly not that bad, but you really wish he was a bit more confident in himself and a bit less attached to his big brother. Like, he’s hard to plan stuff with, because he often has plans with Prosciutto…oh but…you can come along too, his big brother probably won’t mind…
You really don’t want to hang out with both of them though. Just Pesci. And you honestly don’t really like Prosciutto, suspecting his smothering type of “tough love” is much more of a burden for Pesci than a help. But you have literally no idea how to approach that conversation without sounding like the bad guy. No matter how you cut it, at this point in your relationship, Pesci is much more likely to listen to Prosciutto’s logic than yours, much to your irritation.

-Melone: WHERE TO START. He says everything that comes to mind when he’s around you. Every. Thing. He does not hold back, licking his lips, ALWAYS in your personal space while he makes weird comments about you. You swear if he could he’d just fuse himself to you so he could always be physically close to you. He practically crawls into your lap when he gets the opportunity to sit close to you, and he takes asking him to back up or give you space as a joke until you’ve been pushed far enough to consider smacking him away. And he is very, very obsessive, remembering every detail about you in a creepy way. And also one time early in your relationship before you had Ever even started discussing sharing a bed with him you woke up to him just IN YOUR BED WITH YOU?! And he was genuinely confused when you yelled at him and kicked him out of your bedroom. He’s your boyfriend, right??? Why are you chasing him out???? It’s romantic and normal for couples to share a bed right??? What does it matter if you’ve only been on 1.5 dates??
You had Nero talk with him about leaving you alone at night until if when you were ready to proceed to that point with him. He really doesn’t understand but at least he doesn’t argue with his boss.
Oh and he totally steals your recently worn clothes. It’s “romantic” to put them under his pillow at night, smh.

-Ghiaccio: If you didn’t know he had a temper when you started dating him, I’m afraid that’s on you at this point lol. He gets angry SO easily over EVERYTHING, and YEAH you are not immune to his rage just because you’re his sweetheart. He doesn’t put his hands on you when he gets into his awful moods (he’s got enough sense to know that would end Extremely badly for everyone involved) but everything else around you is fair game. Expect him to trash his or your apartment when he’s in one of his (frequent) foul moods, flipping and throwing furniture, punching holes in the walls, purposefully breaking anything he can get his hands on…most of your arguments aren’t even about his temper directly, more often about the amount of money he’s costing both of you with his outbursts.
And the YELLING. He talks so fast and so loud and expects you to hear every word…a man who goes into frequent rants…you love him a lot but sometimes he talks way too much. And eventually you get somewhat used to it but…Ghiaccio even rants and twitches in his sleep (he has got to be one of THE most unpleasant men to sleep next to oml). Snoring would be one thing, sleep talking too, but Ghiaccio sleep yells at some invisible offender. Never in your life had you considered smothering him with a pillow until you hear him yelling full freaking sentences for five straight minutes in his sleep.

-Risotto Nero: He is SO stoic, no matter how he Feels about something he’s barely going to show any sort of reaction at all. You absolutely cannot surprise this man or make him smile no matter what you do. The worst part is he picks up on your frustrations that he doesn’t really emote or laugh or anything like that, so he’ll fake reactions, but he’s Not a very good actor, so you totally know he’s just pretending for you. And it’s honestly kinda creepy watching him fake smile or fake laugh, like, “ew, Risotto what are you doing with your face?” He sounds like he’s…barking slowly when he tries to fake a laugh. You tell him he does Not have to do that but for some reason he feels obligated to fake such things for your sake. Honestly you find it a little bit hurtful he thinks he has to change his mannerisms for your sake, but it is admittedly a bit funny when he freaks out the rest of his team by trying to react to you.

-Squalo and Tiziano: Squalo can be SO impulsive sometimes, SO impulsive. He takes it Very personally when he thinks either you or Tiziano have been disrespected, and that means he might freak out a bit since he feels like he’s the one who has to protect the two of you, for whatever reason. You and Tiziano often have to calm him down before things Escalate. And Tiziano…he frequently explains things to you and Squalo that you really don’t need explained. And he’s almost always very levelheaded, which can make him feel a bit condescending when Squalo or you get upset but you both know he’s just trying to help when he doesn’t give in to your more fiery emotions. He won’t usually let the two of you just let it all out when you’re stressed, expect him to always give advice even when you just want to rant.

-Diavolo/Doppio: The paranoia drives you Insane. Diavolo is a very smothering partner, always hovering around you, keeping those poisonous green eyes on you, watching for any sign of betrayal or malicious intent from you…any hint that you’re scheming something, any excuse to cut you down and finally reach that perfect anonymity. But as long as he enjoys your companionship, without any real motivation he won’t kill you. And Doppio is frustrating to deal with, in charge of keeping you entertained when Diavolo was not in the mood to deal with you. If he was going to be such a loner, you didn’t see the point of him practically handcuffing you to him. Most often you only had Doppio for company. He was sweet but even with his understanding of the situation, he wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. How far was he supposed to go to keep you happy? The Boss said to just buy you whatever you asked for, and give in to all your demands but…eventually you were gonna get experimental with what you would ask for, right? It’s very annoying that every time you ask for anything, he gets a call from Diavolo telling him if it’s okay or not to comply with what you wish for. If it’s not okay, you’re certain to get into an unpleasant argument with the Boss about it when he’s finally ready to appear in front of you again. Sometimes he’ll disappear behind Doppio for weeks or even months, but you know he’s always watching and listening. You really wish he’d put some effort to being a little less elusive with you, given that you were the only person actually allowed to look at him.

Chapter Text

-Headcanons:

What a gold digger.

He’s cute. Handsome, wealthy…and sure you knew he only wanted you for your money and renowned family name, but once you mentioned you knew what he was up to, he’s blunt with you.

Yeah, he does just want you for what he can get from you. But he reminds you of what he can give you in return. He likes money, he likes having that status and living the extravagant life…so he won’t be stingy with you if he were your husband. You want expensive clothes and jewels and carriages and horses? He’ll give them to you. He likes being rich, and spoiling his partner and watching them flaunt that wealth makes him feel rich.

You’ll be living right next to the spotlight constantly on Dio. Diego had just come in first on some prestigious race? The crowd disperses around him just enough for you to get through and give him a congratulatory kiss. Then he’d hold you close as you posed for a picture for the press. You’d smile and go along with it, a hand on his chest, but you weren’t really a fan of being so close when he was all sweaty after a race. Still, if his one expectation of you was to make him look good in public, you could grin and bear it. Especially since you knew he’d hand you a thick stack of cash if you asked while he was in a good mood.

Your marriage is not the most romantic and passionate at first, given it was much more of a mutually beneficial thing than a mutual attraction and affection thing.
When you look at him, you do find him attractive. Surprisingly soft, handsome features, paired with his small but lean build, and his hair always felt nice in the rare moments where you got to touch it. If he had nothing else that appealed to you, he was undeniably easy on the eyes.

He doesn’t care if you see anyone on the side, as long as you’re not getting spotted by any prominent newspapers. Play with whatever people you want, he’ll even pay for your dates on occasion if he’s feeling generous.

He doesn’t care if you want to sleep in two separate beds either; the two of you only have to keep up appearances in public.

He is a man, though. Sometimes he wants his spouse in bed with him.

-transitioning into some fic thing I’ll call:

“He Asked me to Stay
And I Stole his Room”

In reference to a lyric from Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps).

Timeline wise I guess it’s take place after the race, au where he survived but hasn’t accomplished his goals entirely.
First time he’s been around reader under the influence of Scary Monsters

-The first few times he implied he was longing for you were quite memorable. He doesn’t usually pay you much attention when he gets home. You go about your normal evening schedule, reading on the sofa, not even bothering to look up when you hear the front door opening.

To your surprise he doesn’t head straight to the bedroom like he normally does. He’s just standing in the living room, watching you, even after he’s unbuttoned his jacket and hung it up.

“What are you staring at?” you didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly. You’re not even used to talking to him in the first place, let alone in a kind manner.

You feel his admittedly pretty eyes look you up and down. You imagine most of Diego’s fans wish they were you right now. Otherwise you don’t think much of it, just assuming he’s feeling especially irritating today.

He tilts his head. You feel his gaze right on your thighs. “I just never noticed how attractive your legs are.”

You have to look up at your book at that.

“What? What’s gotten into you?” you huff, assuming this is another one of his strange jokes.

He sits down next to you, his hand on the back of the sofa, so his arm is right behind your head. He leans in real close. You weren’t unfamiliar with him being in your personal space, but this was totally different than the usual instances when you were close to him, so you instinctively scoot away from him.

“What’s gotten into YOU?” he counters, gently poking your shoulder. “Can’t I sit next to you? I’m your husband, so I don’t think it’s strange.”

“I suppose not,” you reply dismissively, forcing yourself to cease your shifting.

He doesn’t say anything else. His eyes are boring a hole into your side profile. You try to return to your reading, telling yourself Diego is just messing with you again for some reason.

He lets you read for just long enough that you start to think he’s going to be satisfied with observing you for a bit before he eventually wandered his way to his bed.

“DIO?!” you squeaked out when he suddenly buried his face into your neck. One hand goes to the back of your head, tugging your hair so your chin tilts up and he can have easier access to the flesh of your neck. His other hand shuts your book and tosses it aside, and then grips your thigh.

You’ve been in a public relationship with him for a while now. His presence, his touch…none of it was unfamiliar or uncomfortable to you. Just…confusing. Especially when he decided to randomly snuggle you. It was one thing to pose as a romantic, handsome couple for the public. But you have no idea what he thought he was up to right now.

You can hear that irritating and invasive sniffing he does, feel his nose pressed up against your neck. It’s odd but. He’s not hurting you or doing anything you especially hate so…you trail one hand up to his wrist, holding it softly to simulate something affectionate.

“Have you started using a new soap or something…?” he places a wet kiss where he can feel your pulse in your neck, giving you a test lick, and then loudly licking his lips. “You smell so good tonight.”
Why was your husband so WEIRD?! You just raise an eyebrow at him.

“No…no new soap.”

“Huh.” He somehow buries his face even deeper into your neck, sniffing and prodding your skin with his nose, apparently determined to smell every inch he could reach. “…guess I’ve just never noticed before.”

His face trails down your body, sniffing and nuzzling, all the way down to your thighs, where he rubs his cheek along them. “Soft…” he thinks out loud. He makes himself comfortable in your lap, curling up almost like a cat. He’s making a low rumbling sound in his throat that made you think of purring. You’re not entirely sure how to react, so you gently run your fingers through his pretty blond hair, like stroking a pet. He hums in approval of this, then abandons exploring your clothed thighs with his hands and decides his face is much more appropriate.

First just a couple of kisses, but he’s in a Mood tonight apparently.

You squeaked much more with surprise than pain when he gives your thigh a bite.

“DIO-”

“Mm? Did I hurt you?” he blinks up at you, not quite pulled out of whatever trance has overtaken him.

Well, no, the bite didn’t really hurt, but there was a bit more force behind it than just a playful nibble.

Well if he was going to be all bold tonight, you were going to do what you wanted to him, too.

“No, it didn’t hurt, but…” you cup his cheek in your hand. His skin is not as soft as usual…a bit dry and hard and surprisingly cold. “…Your teeth.”

He leans into your cheek, and as your fingers approach his mouth he parts his lips to give you access to his teeth. You have a feeling he’s going to use this opportunity to lick your fingers but you let your curiosity get the best of you.

You trace the tips of your index and middle finger along his top teeth, but only a quick glance is necessary to see a glinting set of fangs in his mouth.

“Diego?”

You hook your fingers around one of the fangs, the gesture much more intimate than you were intending, eliciting a particularly loud purr from him at your boldness.

“Were your teeth always so sharp…” you comment more than ask. He playfully nips at you in reply, flashing those teeth at you.

“No~” he remarks cryptically, a smug smirk on his face telling you he had no interest in elaborating. He rests his chin on his hand, still using your thighs as his bed.

You frown, poking him in the cheek, the skin still feeling strange. He was being especially odd tonight.

He shrugs.

“You know, the nights have been getting colder recently,” he seemingly changes the subject.

“Have they? I haven’t noticed.”

“They have, I’m sure of it!”

“Mm, it might just be you,” you reply, placing your palm on his forehead. His skin is definitely cold.

“It’s the night,” he insists, pouting a bit because he doesn’t like when you talk back.

“Ok…”

“You don’t believe me.”

“I do.”

“No you don’t. You’re just saying that.”

“….I haven’t noticed any cold nights,” you admit. You Really didn’t want to argue with him over something dumb.

He furrows his eyebrows a bit at you, but doesn’t seem too irritated.

“You’re warm,” he points out, intertwining his fingers with yours. You notice his nails are very sharp from the way he curls them into the back of your hand. You make a mental note to trim them for him later.

“Am I?”

“Yeah. Like a rock that’s been sitting out in the sun. It’s very nice, I want to lay on you.”

You can’t help a tiny huff of laughter from that ridiculous simile. He seems happy he got you to laugh.

“You’re sounding like a reptile right now,” you sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips. Something about his oddness could effortlessly drop your guard once he talked enough.

He’s getting sick of being subtle.

“You should be in my bed with me tonight.”

Your eyes widen for a second, but you did see where this was going. You find it a bit cute and you’re not really opposed…but you’re not going to make it that easy for him.

“If you’re cold, you could just get another blanket.”

He frowns in disinterest at the idea, pretending to think about it. “Well yeah, I guess. But don’t you get lonely cooped up in a different room from me every night?”

“No,” you smirk, poking the tip of his nose. “Do you?”

Teasing him flips a switch. The smile disappears from his face, his eyes darkening.

He sits up at an almost inhuman speed, straddling your lap, hands gripping the back of the sofa on either side of you. He’s short and slim, so he doesn’t really weigh much on your thighs, but the sheer weight of his gaze and the suddenness of his movement makes you shut up and pay attention.

He leans his face close to you, tilting his chin just enough to be as physically close as possible without your faces actually touching.

He moves slowly, deliberately, everything around you seeming to quiet down so that the only thing you hear is Diego’s breathing, and the sound of him swallowing as he angles his mouth closer and closer to your ear.

In contrast to how cold his skin is, his breath is hot against your ear.

“Maybe I do. Is it so wrong for me, as your husband, that I actually want you in my bed tonight? You smell so good and your body is so warm and even the sound of your breathing is cute.”

He moves one hand to your neck, poking with a sharp nail the exact spot he can feel your pulse.

“Your heart is beating faster,” he notes.

“We-well YEAH!!” you gasp. “Do you HEAR yourself? ANYONE would be embarrassed after hearing that!” You place a hand on his shoulder and push him slightly away, so you can escape the spotlight of his eyes that was making your already warm skin heat up further.
“Dio, what the HELL, this is-you’re…if this is another one of your weird jokes it’s not funny!”

He holds your chin with just enough force so he can pull your gaze back to his, but not enough to hurt you.
The almost primal intensity in those blue eyes doesn’t quite fade.

“That would be a cruel joke, don’t you think? I’ll even carry you to the bedroom if you want.”

He pulls your hand to his chest.

“Please.”
There’s a genuine hint of yearning in his face. You knew him well enough to know that when Dio really wanted something he’d do almost anything for it, even ask nicely.

You’re suddenly acutely aware of how warm your cheeks are, and how hard you’re breathing. You swallow.

“I’ll say it again if I have to.”

“No…no, I believe you…” your voice is a bit shaky. You quickly give him a few short nods, telling him you’re willing to sleep in his bedroom tonight.

He presses his lips against yours, finally. For the first time in private, after a year of a purely materially beneficial marriage, the two of you are actually expressing some affection outside of the public eye.

His lips are a bit dry and cold. But at the moment you don’t find yourself minding, slipping your arms along his shoulders, before tangling one of your hands in his blond hair. You grip a large chunk tightly, pushing the back of his head with your shut fingers, simultaneously deepening and extending the kiss.

He’s practiced in multitasking, using the opportunity to readjust, moving his feet firmly on the ground, slipping a hand down your thighs, cupping the area right above your knees, and then moving his other hand strategically to your back.
Applying pressure on your back pushes you up against him further, and the new position allows him to pick you up with ease.

You let out a cute little gasp of surprise at the movement, breaking the kiss, but unwilling to keep your mouth off of him for long.

As he carries you to the bedroom, your lips explore his face, kissing and nipping at his jaw and the corner of his mouth, not stealing his entire attention so he can concentrate just enough on walking.
Then you nuzzle the top of your head under his chin.
It all felt so…comfortable. Like you could fall asleep in his arms in this moment where he actually felt like a doting and devoted husband to you, instead of just some charismatic gold digger that wanted you for that sexy inheritance your rich daddy left for you. It’s making you realize how pent up you’ve been for some real affection, you can’t keep your hands or your mouth off of Diego after he’s finally shown you something resembling passion.

“Could you get the door for me?”

You didn’t realize you closed your eyes until his voice prompts you to open them.
You reach out and swing open the door handle of the master bedroom. He pushes the door with his back.
As your eyes explore the master bedroom, you’re reminded of how rarely you actually come in here. If you ever did go into “his parts” of the house, it was usually his office, which functioned more as a trophy room than anything…and you usually only went in there to curtly inform him supper was ready, or that he received mail.

He’s taken good care of the bedroom. Fancy sheets, silk pillows…your eyes wander from the bed to around the room. You don’t even remember when he went shopping for such expensive curtains for the windows. The furniture though…the large wardrobe and elegant game table with a golden chess set sitting atop it…you remember him commissioning those from a renowned craftsman. It was one of the rare moments he had let you in to his world, showing you some of the designs he was thinking, and asking your preferences. Though you were sure he was going to go with whichever one he personally liked best it was nice that he tried to include you in something for once.

“You really love feeling rich, Dio,” you note out loud. It’s faint now after such a long day, but he was always generous with his gaudy, expensive cologne. You can smell it clearly on his neck.

“I love BEING rich,” he corrects you, tossing you gently into the fluffy blankets of the bed. You lose sight of him as soon as you land because you sink so deeply into the pillows and sheets.

You squirm around in an attempt to see over the ocean of blankets, catching a glimpse of his bare back. He’s getting changed into his luxurious pajamas, never having any issue with removing his clothes in front of you.

Such confidence. Confidence that bordered on, and sometimes was plain arrogance…
Right in this moment you’re beginning to realize you like that about him. The small sparks of attraction you had initially felt for him before your quick courtship, you knew now it was because of that confidence and the way he carried himself.

And he had so many fans. They clung to his chest and kissed his cheeks or followed him around crying and screaming for his attention…he was a prize…
You were no better than Diego.
He saw you as a status symbol, and you saw him as a first place trophy waiting to be won by you.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when he sits on the bed beside you in his expensive silk pajamas, that low rumbling still in his throat and his demeanor more relaxed than usual.

“I’ve closed all the windows and yet it’s still so cold in here,” he points out, his eyes wandering from your face.

You’re beginning to think it’s not just an obvious ploy to get cozy with you, and he actually is cold.

“I’ll buy you some thicker pajamas tomorrow then,” you reply, stretching out and nuzzling your face against a large pillow, savoring the softness and the smell of Diego lingering on it.

He laughs, slipping his freezing hand under your shirt so he can access the warmth of your skin. Apparently he was serious about wanting to use you as a heat source tonight.

“COLD!” you giggle and squirm at his frozen fingertips on your stomach.

“I told you,” he replies as if you were just reacting to the temperature in the room.

He flips the blanket over the two of you, and then slides his other hand onto the skin of your torso, settling his cold hands comfortably on your back. He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, purring contentedly.

“Goodness, if you were any closer you’d be literally under my skin,” you comment, rubbing his upper back. His shoulders were stiff from all that horseback riding.

“I WISH…” he replies with a loud yawn. “I’m sure you’re even warmer inside.”

“Oh…”You blush a bit at that comment, and he mumbles something about your skin heating up pleasantly.

Though, as usual, he makes it weird.

“If I could somehow get under your skin without killing you, your blood and organs and everything would still stay warm because your beating heart would keep everything working. Now that would be one pleasant sleep; I could use your lungs as a pillow.”

“Dio, what the hell are you talking about?” You know he’s just thinking out loud again and being weird on purpose but STILL, what a thing to say.

“There’s no way to do that without hurting you though so…forget it. This is nice too.”

He wraps a leg over your thigh, placing a few lazy kisses along your collarbone before resting his cheek against you with a soft sigh.

“You’re so strange,” you place a kiss on the top of his head. The only reply you get is his snoring.

He must’ve been quite comfortable to have fallen asleep so fast.

You figure you better hurry up and do the same before his snoring drives you crazy.

Chapter Text

-Rohan Kishibe: You have to wonder if Rohan would Ever be mature enough to be a father-
Like you expected, it’s an ADJUSTMENT for the manga artist.
It’s not that he dislikes his own kid, in fact he has quite a bit of pride in his progeny, but he’s not the best at interacting with even teenagers and adults, so his kid is especially subject to his difficult social skills. But growing up around Rohan means his kid is used to it.
Rohan is super stubborn and struggles to express more sentimental emotions, but you wonder why he gets so shy about saying especially sweet things to even his own family sometimes. Just something about the vulnerability of it makes him uncomfortable. That’s your best guess, at least.
He is a well-intentioned father. He wants to teach his kid curiosity, that there is always more to learn; and he takes a great deal of pride (and is super smug about it with you) when your kid expresses interest in becoming a manga artist like him.
Rohan teaching his kid that little stretch he does, and they do it together-
It’s so cute-
Though you do have to step in on occasion and prevent Rohan from teaching your kid Every ‘artistic technique’ of his…please Rohan…do NOT teach your kid to lick dead bugs…you can’t believe you actually have to step in sometimes and prevent Rohan from instilling some bad or inconsiderate habits…but then again…you’re married to Rohan Kishibe, and you of all people are aware of what he’s like.
Rohan’s kid often has to deal with people trying to get close to them because of who their dad is. It’s a bit frustrating, and they might get a little unjustly irritated at Rohan for being famous, but they accept that it’s not really Rohan’s fault. They know their dad has no interest in the fame aspect of his art, it’s just a side effect of being a brilliant author.
Rohan and his kid are pretty similar, despite how little they care to admit it, and even their fashion sense is pretty reminiscent of each other. Often times you’ll even hear something like: “Dad…is that my scarf?” or Rohan’s incredulous little: “Hey, hey, hey, wait just a moment, those are MY earrings.”
You wonder if you should interfere in their little arguments, but 99% of the time nothing happens and they move on immediately. 1% of the time and they’re genuinely giving each other the cold shoulder or being passive aggressive and petty for the rest of the day.
Parenting technique wise, Rohan is not so interested in tradition. He’s not really strict or especially firm with any rules, because frankly, it is more convenient to enforce curfews and rules with Heaven’s Door, but you really don’t like when he uses it, so at Most it’s used Sparingly. He’s pretty lax when it comes to his kid’s mannerisms and behavior, but he Does expect a certain measure of respect from his kid, for both of you since you’re the parents.
As for how many kids he’d have, probably none, honestly-
But if he was going to have kids, just one is enough for him. He really doesn’t have the disposition for parenting, one is plenty, but the experience was very valuable to him, and he is proud of the person his kid becomes, even though he’s still not the best at expressing that affection. He does somewhat understand the importance of verbalizing his love for his child, and when he does try to, it comes across a bit awkward and forced but…hearing their dad try to tell them how much he actually cares about them is one of their fonder memories of him.
Rohan’s kid recognizes they had a bit of an unusual childhood due to their eccentric father, who was also often away on solo trips. But the stories their father would tell or put on paper, the ones dedicated just to his family…Those ones are very precious to his kid, and even though Rohan’s kid doesn’t visit that often once they moved out, it works out well enough for the two of them. Rohan usually doesn’t speak too much about your kid but sometimes he mentions how he wishes they’d visit or send a text; a comment of a concerned parent disguised as a complaint, very much like Rohan.

-Bruno Bucciarati: Firm believer in 2 kids for Bruno Bucciarati. A man who could see himself raising children of his own. But. Someday, in the distant future. He has the self-control and foresight to know he cannot take on such a heavy responsibility in his current position. If the two of you wish for children, it will have to be after he’s able to leave the mafia lifestyle far behind him. He cannot bring himself to put his family at risk by staying involved in that sort of thing.
As much as he wants to raise children with you, he knows it’s better to wait til the moment is absolutely right. I could see him having children when he’s well into his thirties, once he’s certain the two of you have the means to give your kids what they need to thrive and his past in the mafia has no chance of catching up to him.
He’s such a loving father, motivated so much by the love he feels for his children, and his desire to give them a happier childhood than he had. On the slightly stricter side, but he is very fair, and will always make an effort to understand where they’re coming from even if he still believes they need correction.
Hearing “we need to talk” from Bruno has some GRAVITY to it, especially with that intense tone he uses when he needs to command respect. He doesn’t usually get upset enough to really raise his voice at his children unless they get themselves in serious danger, and even then the raised voice comes from a place of concern and not genuine anger, but a “I am VERY disappointed in you,” from him with his strict tone has much more weight to it than any amount of superficial yelling he could do. Because usually it means he’s going to be vulnerable with them for a moment, tell them how their actions scared him or disappointed him or angered him…and Bruno is a compassionate but guarded man, even with his own family, so hearing him talk about how he feels immediately turn a conversation with his kid very serious.
He knows communication is something he struggles with, no matter how good his intentions are, so when he does decide to be completely honest and express his emotions, he always reminds them that he acts how he does because he loves them more than anything else in this world. And he’s not just talk either. Growing up with him as their dad, his kids had seen all the ways he protected them and taught them valuable life skills so they could protect and take care of themselves.
He always acts so strong, though you noticed he was trembling a bit the first day of school for his eldest child. He didn’t cry, but he was pretty close to it that day, and he really had to make an effort to distract himself so he didn’t worry too much over them while they were away. He picks them up after school (omg just got hit with a vision of hot dad Bruno turning other parents’ or teachers’ heads while he’s just getting his kid from school lol), and asks them about their day while walking them home.
His children have always appreciated and loved their dad. They know he would always protect them, and save them if they were in danger, and he did his best to put them on the path to become kind people, and have a good education.
His children visit often, probably try to live close to him, too. And he is always delighted when his children decide to visit him and you, they will always have a place in his home and heart, and he considers raising them one of the greatest honors he’s ever had.

-Leone Abbacchio: You had a kid from a past relationship, so you immediately assumed a man like Leone wouldn’t be interested in getting serious with you. The idea really cemented in your mind when he started a casual relationship with you, and established immediately he: “wasn’t gonna play Daddy,” to your brat, no matter WHAT. He was just your on again off again pseudo-boyfriend who would come and go as he pleased, and he preferred it that way.
Cue you begging him just ONE time to babysit for you…your sitter had canceled last minute and he was the only other person you could turn to that you actually trusted with your kid.
He literally looks at you like >:|
You simultaneously can and cannot believe he groans at you and rolls his eyes. But he can’t just watch you beg for help when he knows he (maybe) could handle watching your kid for a few hours. His innate sense of justice makes him feel obligated to agree. But he’ll complain about it afterwards when you’re not running yourself ragged from stress.
He’s not the best with children, because he has no patience. Literally as soon as your kid starts complaining about being hungry or bored he already gets frustrated. He makes an active effort not to speak too harshly but he’s so used to saying and doing whatever he wanted now that he might’ve lost his composure a few times.
When you get home, your kid gestures at you to be quiet, before pointing at the couch. You follow their gaze and see that your damn replacement babysitter had fallen asleep.
“Did you grab him that blanket?” you ask your kid with a slightly disappointed but not surprised look at Leone. Your kid nods, and reports he fell asleep just a few minutes before you got home so it’s fine.
According to your kid’s report, Mr. Abbacchio is a bit scary and loud sometimes but overall was an ok babysitter.
Well…that’s about the best you could’ve hoped for-
But the next day Leone receives an angry call from you asking who taught your kid such atrocious Italian curse words.
It takes a while but…the deeper your relationship with Leone gets, the more he warms up to your kid too.
Eventually it even gets to where he’ll ask: “how’re you holding up, kiddo?”and ruffling their hair when he visits, or bringing a small toy as a gift for them (though he’ll deny going out of his way to get it, always saying he just Happened to come across it or it was on sale or something).
He’ll try to keep his distance though. He doesn’t want your kid even getting the Idea of looking up to a bad man like him. You tell him he shouldn’t worry about things like that, but then he asks you if you really want your kid growing up thinking being a gangster was a great idea.
You don’t respond, because you both know the answer.

-Gyro Zeppeli: The way he was raised and his observance of his dad definitely influences his parenting style. There are a few differences, but his deep respect for his father reflects in his own parenting, even when he didn’t agree with him all the time.
For example, he does not raise his voice to scold his children; it’s not something he’s ever even considered because he doesn’t need to. His tone and his words are enough to get his message across. He’s an affectionate and playful father in his own way, but when he is being serious his kids absolutely know and will smarten up. No feeling worse than when Papà was upset at them, not because he was scary or anything like that when he had to correct them, but because seeing him disappointed in them makes them feel so bad. He seems genuinely sad when they do something seriously wrong, and when he’s really, Really upset he’ll get quieter and more reserved for the rest of the day and dinner is awkward and silent, but before everyone retires for the night he’ll probably try to have a casual, calmer conversation with whichever kid or kids got in trouble, and usually they’re able to talk it out and it ends with him playfully ruffling their hair and reassuring them he could never stay disappointed with them.
The Zeppeli family history is long, and their traditions are intricate and serious. He follows those deeply ingrained ones, since he has a lot of pride in his family name. His eldest’s real name will only be known by him and you, and they’ll be trained as a doctor and an executioner. And he’ll teach them the spin, of course. But he’ll also instill in them a different genre of justice from what his father taught him: If something feels wrong to you, then act on it.
When it comes to the amount of kids, he imagines himself having quite a few, but he’s not really given it much thought. He grew up in a big family, with four younger siblings. That’s five kids in total. His parents handled it fine, so that must be a reasonable amount, right?
He’s genuinely confused when you take him saying he wanted five kids as another of his bad jokes.
Give him a break, he didn’t know that was a lot! He’s happy to just start with one and see how it goes.
He’s known from a young age that as the eldest he’d be carrying on the real legacy of the Zeppelis, so he faces parenting with grace and an impressive amount of acceptance. However, having plans to eventually be a father doesn’t translate into being completely prepared. He’s calmer than you would’ve expected but…you can tell he feels out of his element, despite the brave face he puts on.
He is a stricter, more serious father than you’d initially thought he’d be. But he is fair, and makes sure his kids know they can always come to him, and he’s still fun and playful when he doesn’t have to be firm. His children respect and love him greatly, though inevitably he’ll have a slightly different relationship with his eldest child due to the traditions of the Zeppeli family.
He’s not as good at being as stoic as his father, and he knows that shows when he’s teaching his eldest, but you assure him that showing his emotions to his children has gotta be much healthier for everyone involved than trying to be a completely impassive Executioner.
At the end of the day, compassion wasn’t a weakness, even for the eldest child in each generation of the Zeppeli line.

Chapter Text

-Joseph Joestar: You will be drowning in his loud affection one way or another. Such a physically affectionate partner, his lips pressed all over you, a constant flirt with wandering hands (and sometimes wandering eyes). He always aims to impress you or show off, and makes an effort to remember your likes and dislikes. He might tease, but he’s usually careful to not push you too far. Always jumping in to defend you; your sad face cuts him deeper than you know. You shouldn’t ever have to cry out of anguish, it is something he simply won’t stand for. If you do cry around him, you can guarantee he won’t be resting til you’re smiling again. He puts every effort into making you feel better when you’re down; it’s one of the rare moments you see him choose to behave seriously in front of you.

-DIO: Love…When you’re around him and he says his affection for you is deep and endless, it is very believable. He had such a way with words he could convince you of most anything, honestly. He could tell you you were the only one he ever saw, his favorite, he wishes he could spend his eternity by your side and of course he would if it wouldn’t be so cruel to take your humanity by turning you into a vampire. Or so he says.
It sounds ridiculous when you reflect on it when you’re away from him. Of course he’s just telling you what you want to hear, why do you keep coming back?!
And yet you return and return and return. Even though it was only shallow lust, if it came from Lord Dio it felt like you were with your soulmate. Maybe that’s the limit of the affection he will ever feel for you. A lust, a desire just deep enough that he will put some effort into taking care of you. His “love” comes from words, waxing empty poetic to you. And, of course, promising to give you whatever it is you truly want. He will make it happen. All you need to do is swear your loyalty to him, and he will grant you any desire you seek…
And if that desire is him? You can have your fill whenever you please~

-Rohan Kishibe: He is not a subtle man, nor does he try to be. A mere glance will show you the true impact you have on him…after all…you so often appear in his works. And so blatantly too. This character has your eyes. That character has a birthmark just like yours. One says things you would say. One dresses in your style. A piece of you, each time. It is how he wants it. He is proud to admit you are his ultimate muse, his favorite inspiration. Whenever he’s fighting art block, he turns to you.
Though, he is not so good with actually verbalizing the depths of his affection for you. He’s not the best at physical affection either. He won’t hold hands for long, he often doesn’t know how to respond to kisses and hugs, and usually he doesn’t get too close at night, if he even comes to bed at all.
It is enough for you. It doesn’t matter so much to you that he isn’t an expert in verbal or physical affection. You feel every ounce of his passionate love for you when he asks you to model for him, even though you know an exceptionally brilliant artist like him doesn’t need you to do a basic pose for him. And it does not go unnoticed to you that the poses he requests are always very comfortable for you to hold on the couch.

-Bruno Bucciarati: He takes care of you. It is what he does, and it is how he shows his love. You’re eating at a restaurant, he will pay the check. Stuck in a crowd? His hand will be on the small of your back, maybe subconsciously, or maybe deliberately, so he won’t lose track of you. He’ll drive you home at night, and wait til he sees you’re safely inside. He is a sanctuary.
Though he is not the most in tune with his emotions, and clear communication is difficult for him sometimes, but damnit if he doesn’t try for your sake. He’s very busy, but he makes an effort to carve out some time for you where you can both have some peace and quiet, and a heart-to-heart.
When it’s just the two of you, he’s able to lower that guard of his. You can always tell he’s tired. But he puts you and everyone else he cares about first, every time.
You lean against his chest. He is so tense, but he allows himself to slump his shoulders and hold you close. He talks for a bit, just being honest with you, vulnerable. And then he goes quiet, his chin resting against the top of your head.
His breathing is soft, his hands gently slide down your arms…he had fallen asleep. A rare opportunity for you to take care of him without him protesting has finally presented itself…

-Leone Abbacchio: Sure he is a jaded and broken and horribly grumpy man but he is also very capable of affection and care, even if he’s not the best at showing it. Despite his crass personality, he has suffered so much, so he can also empathize much more than you’d initially think. Though that doesn’t make him great at giving you comfort or affirming speeches. His love comes from reassurance; usually words are unnecessary. He’ll always sit beside you wherever you go. If someone tries to take his spot next to you at a restaurant, he’ll drag them out of that seat if he has to. What is his is also yours. You want to drink his wine? Sure, don’t mind the purple lipstick on the rim of the glass. The depth of his physical affection is deepest when you share a quiet evening together. His hand on your shoulder, face pressed against your neck. Whether it’s him taking a quick moment to reflect (you’re his pillar, and he’s reminded of it especially when his troubles seem to melt away when he presses his forehead against the back of your neck), or he’s a little drunk and trusts you to straighten him out (his pillar, his pillar…even when he’s indulged in too many bad habits and slurs his words and stains your neck with purple lipstick as he falls asleep nestled against you, you are always so kind and patient to him, but always firm). He is broken, his regrets follow him like a vengeful ghost, he will never be good enough for you in his own eyes. But damn it if he won’t at least try.

-Guido Mista: His hand in yours, quick kisses up your arms all the way up to your cheek. His bullets swirling around him constantly gushing about how nice and amazing you are and begging Mista to go see you again so they can Also see you. The mercilessness when he digs his fingers into your skin and tickles you until he ends up getting hurt from your elbow hitting his nose on accident from your squirming.
He calls your name just to get you to look at him. He thinks you smell SO good, especially after you freshen up with your favorite scent, but he actually worries about looking weird around you so he might not say anything. Guess he doesn’t realize it’s much weirder to silently sneak in sniffs instead of telling you he likes how you smell. He’s even more impulsive than usual when you’re involved. If he has money in his pocket and you seem slightly interested in something you can bet he’s opening up his wallet and buying it for you.
You do a lot for him, a steady and familiar comfort in his crazy life…so let him blow a couple bucks on you when he wants to. Seeing you happy when he manages to get you something you like is one of his greatest joys in life.

-Gyro Zeppeli: Watch his hands, he’ll put them all over you when the opportunity presents itself. He’s not a gentleman, you already knew that. He doesn’t even try to talk like one. He loves how you feel in his lap, and he’s not shy about saying it out loud. One of life’s greatest joys is a drink in one hand, and his other hand supporting the back of a cute thing like you sitting on his thighs. If you walk by him, you Know that man is gonna try and playfully spank you. Put your hands in his hair, he loves when you play with it, but choose your timing because it might put him in a mood if you tug on it. And of course he’ll delight you with the spin, if you let him. He uses it so gently with you, easing your sore muscles after a long day, or sending pleasant sensations rippling across your skin. Or using it to cause a bit of mischief. A sudden jolt through your body when he wants your attention, or a relentless tickling that has you laughing and writhing and begging him to knock it off.
He holds onto you like a teddy bear when the two of you snuggle up for the night. His muscular arms wrapped around you, clinging to you, snuggling his face against you.
It can be suffocating at times. He’s just so. Big and strong. But damn do you feel safe, and you haven’t the heart to push him away when he wants to hold you at night.
He does this thing where he gives you something he values, so you can hold onto it for him and give it back to him later. It’s how he shows his trust for you. Hold on to one of his belt buckles, or his goggles, or his hat…give it back at your leisure. He insists. He knows you’ll keep it safe, and it’ll remind you of him if you hold onto it. In his eyes it’s a win win.

Chapter Text

-Joseph Joestar: a rich, handsome young man with a confident and charming personality didn’t sound so bad, but you had begged Joseph to behave himself around your family, and even with your pleading he wasn’t able to curb his arrogance or hold back a single comment that was almost too clever for his own good.
You were definitely getting worried. He was the smartest and most observant guy you knew; you were sure he understood your very subtle messages to tone it down a bit, but the show-off in him simply Could Not. They absolutely need to hear about how he defeated the Pillar men (your family has No Idea what a pillar man even is so it’s not nearly as impressive sounding as he wanted, even after a brief but vivid explanation) survived two plane crashes already, and despite all his dangerous ventures only came out missing one hand, replaced with a prosthetic. To your quiet little family that only wanted you to be safe and settle down with a nice person, Joseph wasn’t really winning anyone over this time-
You know he knows he’s not making a great impression either, and getting increasingly confused as to why your family is so difficult to impress. He didn’t realize your bloodline lacked a sense of ADVENTURE. Thank God he met you when he did. Lucky you.
So he uses his secret technique. Mentions casually that he’s also in the Real Estate business. Now THAT they like!! Real Estate is a very Stable career!
You send him a subtle glare that says he BETTER get into real estate.
He winks at you.
You hope it’s a “Yeah I’ll get into real estate” wink.
Score: 6.8 out of 10. He is undeniably charismatic, but he doesn’t really seem like the type who will ever settle down for real, they do worry about how happy you’ll be in the long run. Sure he’s exciting and fun now, but maybe he’s a bit TOO exciting. They do like that he’s financially stable though. As long as you promise to be careful and deeply consider what you want for your future, then they will support you.

-Bruno Bucciarati: Well everyone who has at least Heard of Bruno Bucciarati tends to have a favorable impression of him, and now that your family is actually meeting him in person they completely understand why.
He had actually seemed a bit nervous about meeting them. He worried very much about what they’d think of him, partly because he doesn’t have a lot of romantic relationship experience in general, and he really wanted to make this work with you, since you’re the only person who he’s ever felt this much affection for in his life.
You don’t think he has anything to fret about though, since he is the greatest guy you know, as long as he was himself, you knew he’d be fine; but you must admit, seeing Bruno anxious over something made you a bit nervous too.
He brought flowers for your family, talked respectfully but with that usual confidence you admired so much. And even from the way he carried himself around you, they could tell he had a deep love and admiration for you. His hand casually on your knee when you sit close together, always standing close enough to you that at least your arms are subtly touching, or his fingers are intertwined with yours. Romantic and affectionate, but classy. He is definitely protective, they wonder if he even notices the way he stands ever so slightly in front of you most of the time. They think it’s sweet that he’s always subtly looking out for you, even subconsciously.
By the end of the night, any nervousness he felt before had completely vanished, and he was comfortably laughing and making jokes and answering questions about himself honestly but not Too honest for them to grasp the true severity of his role in the mafia.
Before you leave he insists that he must meet with your family again sometime, and dinner will be on him. Your family is already treating him like he’s your beloved husband, and they are all too eager to take him up on that offer.
He is so lovely it kinda backfires on him honestly. Next time he gets to see your family, he’s being asked when he’s gonna pop the question to you. You know that’s not something that would scare Bruno away, but you still feel the need to apologize for how embarrassing it is that he’s getting nagged like that-
Of course he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but it was one of the first times he’s ever been momentarily caught off guard and genuinely didn’t know how to reply beyond an awkward laugh and a: “when the moment is right, I’ll know.” Smooth save, Bucciarati~
Score: 8.5 out of 10. -1.5 purely because he IS mafia and that’s a little worrisome, no matter how kind a man he may seem, you don’t get into the mafia through pure compassion.

-Leone Abbacchio: He’s surprised your relationship has gotten far enough that you actually want him to meet your family. Frankly, he doesn’t think it’s a great idea. He knows he’s not the sort of man parents would want to see their kid bring home.
It takes a LOT of convincing, and a fair degree of arguing to get him to agree to it.
You even have to pull out the: “Leone. If you love me…”
And he scowled and grumbled out a: “now that’s not fair,” but reluctantly accepted that he should do this if it would make you happy. He’d go, but don’t expect him to stay long or wear anything too fancy. And he’d prefer it if you did most of the talking.
He’s quiet, as you suspected he’d be, and right at the doorstep he starts letting you know he thinks this is a bad idea and you shouldn’t go through with this. At least not yet.
Right as he starts turning around to try and sneak away, the door opens, and like he suspected, your folks are super excited to see you, but suddenly go more quiet when their eyes land on him. The awkwardness level shoots through the roof as they literally don’t know what to say about your boyfriend, this was not what they were expecting at all when you said your boyfriend had experience in “law enforcement”. It really looks like you brought a delinquent home…that long hair and dark clothes and purple lipstick, not to mention how he literally won’t make eye contact with them, and speaks curtly and only when spoken to. You were mostly expecting him to be rude. But to your surprise he was acting much more shy than anything.
Really he’s just nervous and frustrated that this is going so poorly already, and you had never felt him grab your wrist and squeeze it to stabilize himself like he did when your parents turn around to lead the way inside.
He can’t stop fidgeting, his leg bouncing or him drumming his fingers on the back of the couch, staring down at the carpet and going along with whatever you said to make your relationship and situation sound like something your parents would approve of. Something about how he studied law, and the two of you met at a fancy restaurant through a mutual acquaintance. The two of you were fast friends, and shortly afterwards: lovers. He doesn’t correct your flimsy fake story, but your cute little retelling definitely sounds much better than the real story. The two of you had actually met in the trashiest bar in town, and you had only intended for your “relationship” to be nothing more than a one night stand between two pathetic people. Though the mutual acquaintance wasn’t a complete lie. You had technically only learned his name after Bruno Bucciarati helped both of you clean up your acts and recruited you into his squad. Though it was almost cosmically funny that Bruno unintentionally reunited you with the very same man you spent one messy, regrettable night with.
Not that the unpleasant truth mattered right now, since your parents seemed convinced enough. And they must admit, as alarming as he was on first sight, it’s sweet to see the way you sit closer to him, and lean your head against his shoulder and even though he stiffens a bit at the physical touch, he’ll let you have this if it makes you happy.
Your little white lie makes the evening go well, and like you promised, you don’t make him stay long.
“Getting kinda late,” you comment. It’s really not that late, but Abbacchio fakes a yawn to cement the idea.
You guys make your escape, and he visibly relaxes with an exhale now that he’s out of your parents’ house.
“How horrible. Don’t ask me to do that again anytime soon,” he grumbles, and you gently headbutt his arm for being so dramatic, but he has a weakness for you, and you for him, so you give him a break and spoil him a bit as a celebration for a successful first meeting with your family.
Score: 5.5 out of 10. He’s quiet and blunt, but he seems like a decent man underneath. They worry you won’t stay happy with him.

-Guido Mista: He’s not that nervous at first by the idea of meeting your family, but he’s realistic enough to know he’s definitely not some rich and proper gentleman like your parents were hoping. He mentally prepared himself for them to be surprised, and unhappy at the sight of him.
And sure enough, a few minutes after speaking to your parents, you’re being dragged into the kitchen and getting scolded for bringing home a delinquent and they want that “ruffian of a boyfriend” out of your life immediately. They said he had no manners, he was much too comfortable and touchy with you, and he had a bit of a temper, combined with how he walked around with a revolver shoved into his pants and his first impression was Not the greatest. You insisted that you loved him and wouldn’t be breaking up with him. They did Not like that, and decided to kick him out themselves.
He said he wasn’t moving from his spot on the couch unless you were coming with him.
You didn’t like where this was going, so you quietly told Mista it was time to leave.
He made a big deal out of sending your parents a pointed look after very intentionally sliding his hand into your back pocket and kissing your forehead on the way out the door.
He tried to stay positive, for your sake, even though you’re both upset about the whole thing. He cheerfully told you that you could easily just get someone else to give their blessing for the two of you to be together. It wouldn’t even be hard to find someone! Bruno could do it, and Mista respects that man’s opinion much more than your parents’ anyways.
You’re a little disheartened, but you appreciate him trying to cheer you up. You never thought yourself the type to elope. You had always tried to be good, and keep your parents happy with your choices and what you did with your life, and you had never stepped out of line or rebelled before. Guido Mista was your one and only act of rebellion. A new and exciting perspective. You always had to be so careful, so polite…but he said and did what he wanted, took life into his own hands and didn’t let someone just write out his entire path for him. It’s not like you had plans on letting some gangster whisk you away, honestly at first your plan was to convince him over to your lifestyle, try to get him to settle down and start a more conventional life with you.
Now came your second act of rebellion.
“Take me away from this all,” you mutter to him as the two of you step outside of your parents’ house.
He intertwines his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles, understanding immediately what you mean.
You wanted to join the mafia and escape your former life in a comfortable cage for a life of danger and adventure, with him.
You’re suddenly finding yourself in a significant amount of gunfights and attacks by enemy stand users…but you’re making your own decisions now, in everything you do, and you don’t ever turn back, only moving forward with Guido and your friends supporting you.
Score: ??? out of 10, doesn’t matter since you don’t talk to your family until they accept that you’re gonna marry him.

-Gyro Zeppeli: “You sure, sweetheart?”
He’s not the textbook definition of boyfriend or husband material. He’s wild, rugged, quick to react with violence, and he’s said it out loud and repeatedly that he’s “not a nice guy”. Hell, your relationship with him started as more of a casual hookup thing than anything else, but you stuck around and he liked you enough and you were never really an official thing but…clearly you were head over heels for the handsome Italian cowboy.
Okay, if you really want him to, then fine. He’ll meet your parents. But he makes it clear to you beforehand you shouldn’t expect him to suddenly marry you and settle down and play a doting hubby for you.
You had written a couple of letters to your parents beforehand, trying to prepare them for when they finally got to meet him.
He tries to be somewhat more civil and respectful for your parents-
And they try to be polite too, but they could NOT hide the way their eyes widened when they first actually saw him. He’s. Huge. Muscular. And with long, wild hair. You had to refrain from laughing at how they visibly flinched when they first saw his golden grillz too. You TOLD him he might not want to wear them for the first meeting. And he acted offended at that suggestion. You didn’t want to fight with him over it.
Admittedly it’s a rocky start. Thank goodness he actually had a medical background. And they weren’t convinced at first because….look at him…but after some conversation it’s clear he’s an intelligent and educated man. They liked THAT a LOT. Dr. Zeppeli sounded pretty good to them. They’re willing to give him a chance and admit to themselves that they may have judged him too early.
And well.
The more they get to know him, they see that rowdy, stubborn cowboy and talented medical prodigy are both fitting labels for him. But he’s a genuine man at heart, even if he has his secrets, they can tell. Even if he’s keeping something large from you and your family…he won’t hurt you. At least, not out of malicious intent.
You should be more worried about when HE brings you home to meet his family. If you really want to be with him, you have a lot to learn about the weight behind the Zeppeli name, and what it means to be with the eldest son of the current generation.
Score: initially……maybe 6.2 out of 10? His appearance IS kinda alarming, and his personality is LOUD. They are concerned he’ll end up being too much for you, and he didn’t seem like the settling down type at first glance.

Chapter Text

-Formaggio: Out of all the members of La Squadra he’s noticeably much more chill and relaxed than the others. But he’s still a proud member of the Italian Mafia. And you’re his girl. He’s no knight in shining armor or Prince Charming for you, he won’t intervene when there’s an occasional irritable customer giving you a bit of a hard time. He knows you can take care of yourself.
However, if some entitled customer has the audacity to go too far and say or do something Really disrespectful while he’s around, I think he has a preference for good old-fashioned humiliation, and only results to intimidation if they decide they wanna keep making a fool of themselves.
He plays it up like: “ooh, hey, if you wanted that pretty lady’s attention there are much better ways to get it, buddy.”
You don’t have to add anything. You resume work quietly, but keep your eyes and ears focused on him, in case he decided to get carried away.
After a little bit of back and forth with him using his usual coolness and charisma, the offender gets increasingly frustrated and flustered.
When your boyfriend’s finally had enough of this stupid game he stands up from his table. His playfully mocking expression remains, but his smirk shifts ever so slightly into something more sinister. “If you want we could just take this outside,” he says it so casually, with the tone of a man who wasn’t going to hold back if it actually did escalate into a fight. He was not bluffing at all either.
At full height and with the clear confidence that he was absolutely gonna win the fight, the rude customer wisely decides Formaggio was Not someone he wanted to mess with and awkwardly leaves the restaurant, Formaggio loudly exclaiming taunts as the guy skittered away with his tail between his legs.
He seems awfully pleased with himself after “defending your honor” like that. You let him enjoy that feeling, because honestly that was pretty well done and it didn’t get too ugly. He has some nerve expecting a bunch of praise from you for that though.

-Illuso: Someone saying or doing something rude to you is like insulting him as well. And his stand is uniquely qualified for an entertaining punishment against some arrogant idiot giving you a difficult time.
Illuso doesn’t say anything, but when you look over at him while some jerk is screaming his head off at you like it’s your fault his food took five minutes longer than usual to arrive, you see that he’s pretending to fix up his appearance in a fancy compact mirror you had gifted him on your one year anniversary.
You can tell immediately he’s actually angling it at the guy screaming at you so he can activate Man in the Mirror. You inwardly groan because honestly you welcome your husband’s interference, but it will be difficult to explain a man magically disappearing in the middle of a restaurant, especially while he’s causing such a scene with that excessive screeching.
All of a sudden…silence. Such a sudden silence that the sound of Illuso clasping his mirror shut is audible to you from where you’re standing. Of course all the customers were looking at that guy who was freaking out at you. And he literally vanished before their eyes. So you do the only thing you can think of and spread your arms in an exaggerated manner and go: “Ta-DAAAH~” like the supernatural disappearance was just a magic trick.
In a rather weak attempt to sell it, Illuso starts slowly clapping for you and commenting: “molto bene~”. You can’t muster an annoyed glare at him; the slight smile tugging at your lips gave you away. A few customers join him in clapping, a bit confused, but honesty just glad that the yelling has stopped.
Illuso’s version of torment is to leave the guy completely alone in the mirror world. Confusion combined with isolation is a cruel combination, and given his captor was Illuso who was absolutely bound to prolong the punishment because of his sadistic tendencies, you almost feel sorry for the guy.
“Make sure you let him go by this evening,” you remind him before you get back to work.
“Let who go, dearie?” he says, his acting pathetically bad.
Sigh. So he was going to play it that way…
“I’m serious,” you grumble.
“Me too.”
You meet his eyes at that remark, and his smug smirk tells you he wants to see if you’ll keep nagging him about it.
When you don’t indulge him he’ll get bored and let the guy go. Hopefully that brat learned a lesson. And if not, at least he has a story literally no one will believe.

-Prosciutto: Despite not being a very nice man to you, he’s got that ridiculous belief that only he’s allowed to be harsh to you. It’s “tough love” when he’s hyper critical of you or snaps at you for something small, but if anyone else does it to an excessive degree then it’s apparently unacceptable, rude behavior. Really it’s just his pride as a man and unhealthy view of masculinity that causes him to freak out when you’re disrespected. He’s your fiancé…By his logic, you need him to protect you, and it’s his job as a man to do so.
He’s a big hypocrite.
But at least he stands up for you.
You could usually feel Prosciutto watching when a customer started to get a little ornery with you. He wouldn’t always step in, unless something he deemed entirely disrespectful was said or done; he does think dealing with irritable people is okay for you until they get carried away.
It looked like he wasn’t going to intervene this time over the dirtbag being extraordinarily picky and fussy with you, just because he liked bossing essential workers around apparently. Prosciutto was listening, as usual, but didn’t seem too concerned, drinking his coffee disinterestedly. Until the customer decided to toss a crumpled up napkin at you when you turned around.
Ohhh boy, you didn’t even have to LOOK to know the coffee mug getting slammed down on a table was Prosciutto.
You debate what you should do. He strides past you, and you opt to just…hold still and listen for a moment. Pretend you don’t know him, and let him do whatever it is he’s about to do (though you have a pretty good guess what it is).
Despite all the tough talk he was doing before, that customer couldn’t hide the slight panic in his voice at Proscuitto’s sudden approach.
Unlike a lot of Passione members who preferred to hide their affiliation to the mafia, Prosciutto wasn’t nearly as subtle with that tailored suit, open shirt and the demeanor of a man who’s killed before and will kill again.
“Hey who the hell do you think you are?! Stay away from m-” the jerk’s nervous ranting is cut off by Prosciutto dragging him to his feet by the collar of his shirt.
“You dropped something,” Prosciutto says in that certain tone you’ve grown all too familiar with. He uses it often when he’s pissed off or teaching a lesson or both at the same time.
Before the man can even squeak out the beginnings of some sort of excuse or counter he’s gagging, and you turn around to stop Prosciutto from straight up choking the guy by shoving the same napkin he tossed at you down his throat, speaking about how disgustingly disrespectful it was to throw anything at a woman.
“Hey, I think he gets it,” you cut in.
You wonder if he’s actually gonna listen to you this time. For a moment it seems like he might ignore you and continue the lesson. But he decides you may have a point and that he’s not worth the trouble. Though it doesn’t stop him from roughly shoving the guy to the ground when he lets go of his shirt.
“Make sure you add an apology when you pay the check,” he says to the sniveling man on the floor desperately telling himself not to make a run for it like a coward now that Prosciutto’s back was turned.
You don’t know whether to smile or roll your eyes, knowing all your fiancé meant was that he better leave you a generous tip as compensation for such disrespectful behavior.
“Go smoke outside,” is all you say to him when you see Prosciutto reach for the pack of cigarettes in his jacket. He smoked when he was especially irritated; so he went through a lot of cigarettes. He waves his hand dismissively at you, but obeys and goes outside. Though he stays close to the entrance. He’s making it clear he’s not leaving til you’re getting paid well for all that trouble.
The guy ended up practically handing his wallet to you.
Prosciutto internally checks off his: do one good thing for his fiancée today mission.

-Pesci: He’s not the most confrontational of La Squadra, and there’s no love lost between the murderous members of the team beyond a mild respect for each other’s strength (and that’s only sometimes) but he’s more than familiar with how most of the other assassins handle disrespect or things they don’t like in public with violence and aggression (hard glares at Ghiaccio and Prosciutto in particular). And that usually results in them getting asked to leave the premises, how embarrassing-
He doesn’t want to embarrass you either when a particularly volatile customer started screaming at you and freaking out for no valid reason. But he can’t just sit there and let you take that kind of abuse either.
He tries to excuse you from the situation by calling you over to his table like he was a customer and it was something urgent. And well…it might just escalate the irritation of that insufferable jerk screaming at you but…
You go to Pesci anyways, opting to just ignore the jerk, pretending to be busy dealing with some made up issue Pesci was improvising.
To your surprise it actually kinda worked. The guy was steaming for a bit and yelling at you from his table but. You just ignored him. And if anything actually happened Pesci was 100% capable of handling it if he had to. He didn’t usually try to start fights, but if pushed he could absolutely finish them.
“Do you usually get customers like that?” Pesci asks with genuine concern in his voice once the guy finally gets mad enough to leave (without paying but that was a problem for later).
“Well…” more often than someone who doesn’t work in food service would think…
“Sometimes,” you admit vaguely, not wanting to worry him but not wanting to lie either.
He thinks you should find some different job, not that he’s actually in a position to suggest that given he’s literally a La Squadra assassin. And you’ve heard from the few times you’ve met with his coworkers that the money they make in the business of murder is minuscule all things considered. Honestly he should get a new job too. One that didn’t rely on the occasional commission and splitting a check with eight other people.
You both know it’s not that easy to just Find a new job. And he doesn’t think it’s a great idea to suggest you get more involved in Passione for quick but dirty money…sigh…no easy solution…

-Melone: Your boyfriend was the least confrontational man in La Squadra.
Usually you encourage him to not visit you at work…because he always stares at you in such a manner that your coworkers or customers sometimes warn you about a creep in the corner booth who’s been watching you for a while.
As someone who’s used to being yelled at (though only because he’s the one being a FREAK so it doesn’t Really count) he’s sure you can handle the occasional ornery customer who decided to raise their voice at you. He usually intervened only if you directly requested it, because more often than not you got annoyed at him for worming his way into your other problems. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice when he’s typing on his laptop at the restaurant you work at and someone starts destructively causing a scene all because you brought them the wrong brand of soda by accident. It’s been a long day, you’re tired, you’re working the evening shift and the restaurant’s about to close. So you don’t bother to try and appease this guy, you know he’ll just complain and give you a hard time no matter what you do. And he apparently took your: “I’m sorry, let me grab you the right one,” as disingenuous and insulting, because you didn’t call him “Sir”. You really don’t feel like dealing with this, and you’re about to just let it go until he has the audacity to knock the soda off the table and onto the floor, staining the floor and even getting soda all over your shoes.
God…just to humiliate you over something small-you find yourself quietly staring at the floor for a moment, trying to register what you should even do…bend over right now to try to salvage your shoes before the soda dried? You had napkins in your pocket. But then the damn customer won…
And you know Melone was watching everything. He’s so invested that he’s stopped typing.
Melone’s no gentleman, and has no shame, but he can’t just let someone get away completely with disrespecting his girlfriend…especially given he had bought those cute shoes for you!
You can only mumble Melone’s name quietly when he approaches the situation, his demeanor energized despite how late it was. You weren’t gonna deny him stepping in but saying his name was a warning not to be too weird.
He clicks his tongue, making a point to not even look at the jerky customer, like he wasn’t there, and focuses all his attention on you.
“You know those shoes weren’t cheap, tesoro mio,” he chides playfully, immediately plucking off some napkins from the customer’s table and kneeling in front of you so he can wipe your shoes clean himself.
You bite your lip. It might seem gentlemanly to onlookers, but you knew he was also using the opportunity to get close to your legs in public. But he manages to behave himself, even putting a few napkins over the spill on the floor once he’s done with your shoes.
When he finally stands back up, he makes a point of leaning very close with an especially devious look on his face.
“What a shame,” he says in a strangely exaggerated tone. “I think I’ll have to buy you a new pair of shoes…”
You just give him a confused look after reminding him you’re on the clock when he leans in for a kiss.
Then he wanders off. But at least he distracted the customer enough to dampen the worst of the disrespectful behavior.
You finish your shift. Melone was waiting for you outside with his motorcycle, as he’s your ride back to your shared apartment.
He looks especially pleased with himself.
“What’d you do this time?” you sigh and yawn, too tired to feel especially concerned with whatever he might’ve done.
“Your next pair of shoes is going to be Especially nice…I’ll even get you a pretty dress to go with them~” he licks his lips.
Under the dim light of the street lamp, you finally notice the wallet that he’s holding up. It isn’t his.
His little kneeling act by the table with the rude customer apparently had many purposes…your boyfriend really was quite a sly opportunist…
“Melone…” you were gonna chide him gently for taking the guy’s Entire wallet but…it was too late to start arguing with him, given he was your ride home. And you didn’t care too much about it in the first place, especially right now.

-Ghiaccio: Everything ticks him off so when you’re working you don’t mind if he doesn’t bother to stop by and say hi even when he’s in the area. He tends to get worked up about something minuscule even during quick visits. And your restaurant is quite popular with tourists, who he has a borderline obsessive type of hatred for. Yeah. You were okay with him NOT visiting you while you were working because inevitably one day he was gonna cause quite a scene-
You feel a very ironic cold shiver down your spine when you catch sight of a familiar red Mazda Miata going way too fast in the parking lot looking for a space to park.
“Dios mio…I don’t need this today…” you mumble to yourself, not realizing a particularly entitled customer was watching you act distracted for a moment by looking at a car from the window.
When you get to his table, you don’t really know what he’s yapping about when he says waitresses these days are SO ditzy and aren’t properly trained. You’re not listening too hard because you’re watching Ghiaccio walk past the window on his way into the restaurant. He gives you an acknowledging glance when he spots you, and it pisses off the customer even more because now he’s complaining about how completely unprofessional it was that you invited your boyfriend into the restaurant while you were working. You have no idea where this guy is even getting all these assumptions, or what was even so terribly wrong with the scenario he’s making up, so you don’t pay it much attention and just brush it off as the customer’s eccentric personality trait.
Until he says that if you were going to be disrespectful by inviting your boyfriend to work, you might as well look busy.
What a freaking idiot, waiting for Ghiaccio to walk in to the restaurant before literally throwing the money for his meal at you, completely expecting you to pick up all the bills.
Ghiaccio doesn’t even need to know the context to react (though it’s probably for the best he didn’t hear what started it because it’d just piss him off even more).
“Hey, hey, hey…” Ghiaccio’s voice from the entrance can be heard from half way inside the restaurant. “If you meant to give the money to her, it’d be MUCH more efficient for both of you if you just HANDED it to her, you freaking moron-“
Oh God, here we go…Ghiaccio wasn’t screaming quite at full volume as he speed walked to where you were standing, his hands twitching slightly, either oblivious or simply ignoring all the customers exchanging nervous glances as they watched him. He has to be literally the WORST AND the EASIEST member of his entire team to piss off…and when he got like this he sometimes didn’t even listen to you.
The customer glares at him, and dares to open his mouth to respond, but Ghiaccio’s rant wasn’t over and it just pisses him off even more to see the guy had the audacity to try and interrupt him.
“Ghia, hey-”
Yeah he was definitely not gonna listen to your attempt to calm him down. You wonder if he even heard you because he grabbed the guy by the back of the head while you were talking.
“IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT! I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THROWING MONEY ALL OVER THE GROUND?! YOU JUST GET OFF WATCHING HER WASTE A BUNCH OF TIME PICKING THAT ALL UP?!”
Was he…more pissed about the illogical nature of the behavior or the fact that you were being disrespected…?…It’s kinda hard to tell…this ornery yapper on even more ornery yapper violence was Quite a scene this early in the morning…
“DON’T YOU HAVE A LIFE, IDIOT? OR DID YOU GO OUT JUST TO KILL TIME BY POINTLESSLY INCONVENIENCING A WAITRESS?! YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE BUT SHE’S GOT AN ACTUAL JOB TO DO AND DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO PLAY 52 CARD PICKUP WITH ENTITLED JERKS LIKE YOU!”
It doesn’t even cross your mind that most people would be mortified to watch their boyfriend completely lose it like this in public, you’re so used to it at this point; you’re thinking about how it’s a bit hypocritical of him given how you’ve witnessed him Also going off on a poor server for nothing.
“GHIACCIO!” you finally make yourself shout, reaching out and grabbing the wrist of the arm he was using to hold the panicking rude customer by the back of the head.
You know Ghiaccio. He was about to slam that man’s head on the table.
“WHAT?!” he snaps, but when he whips his head, you can tell the raging blizzard of his soul wavered just a bit when he looked at you.
“Don’t…you’ll break the table, they’re flimsy…”
His physical strength always astounded you, given he wasn’t particularly large, and he wasn’t even resisting your hand on his wrist but you could still feel the power in his arm. “You already made your point…” you whisper, worried about getting in trouble for the scene he was causing.
“BUT-“
“Thank you, it’s okay…”
He REALLY has to debate it, but reluctantly releases the man with an irritated huff and an audible growl. Such a lucky guy…you were one of the few people who could get Ghiaccio to think before taking something too far.
“Is your shift almost over?” he asks, clearly still incredibly irritated, tapping his foot rapidly against the ground.
“About fifteen minutes to go.” You glance at the trembling rude customer, gazing wide eyed and flinching every time Ghiaccio moved in any way.
He checks his watch and the customer climbs further into the booth out of fear of the simple gesture, but Ghiaccio is forcing himself not to pay him any mind.
“I’ll wait for you in the car then.”
“Alright.”
As long as he left the restaurant…
Now everyone knew he was definitely with you in some capacity…damn.
He sends a pointed glare to a couple of the customers on the way out. A “gentle reminder” to keep manners in mind.
And when you give the rude customer one last look, you see he’s on the ground picking up the money he had tossed at you.
He’s trembling a bit. Probably from fear of Ghiaccio changing his mind and coming back to actually break his face. But he’s probably a bit cold too, just from coming into physical contact with Ghiaccio could leave anyone with a chill if he partly activated his stand while touching someone.
You really needed to have a chat with him about his temper but as the previously inconsiderate customer blubbers out apologies and begs you to protect him from your scary boyfriend while shoving the money (and a generous tip) directly into your hands you hesitantly decide today is not the day.

-Risotto Nero: He doesn’t go out in public often, but minus the whole “leader of an assassination division in the mafia with a truly frightening appearance” he’s a pretty normal guy. Keeps to himself and stoic, but he can hold a conversation. You’re fine with him not visiting you at work often, you get that he’s super busy, but when he does stop by you’re glad to see him (and he doesn’t cause any scenes. Bonus points for Risotto).
It was a slow morning for you, and he had finished an early morning mission earlier than he had expected. He even checked to make sure the diner you worked at wasn’t busy before he decided to stop in and see you.
Your face lights up when you see him, running over to him and giving him a quick hug, and bringing him a small cup of coffee on the house, allowing yourself a brief moment of respite to speak with your boyfriend. It wasn’t busy yet…there were only two other customers, but it was just your luck that one of them woke up on the wrong side of the bed and decided to come over and give you a hard time for taking a moment to spend with Risotto.
“Does your boss pay you to flirt with customers?”
You can’t even believe someone really came over just to say that to you. You weren’t even sitting down to talk to Risotto, and it’s not like you were being loud or obnoxious or anything.
“She’s doing her job,” Risotto points out with that signature stoic nature. The guy seems slightly put off by Risotto’s unique appearance, but was apparently in a bad enough mood to not back down so easily.
“If she was doing her job she’d be bringing me a refill and not wasting her time chatting with a guy she already served,” he points out indignantly. What an insane level of entitlement…Risotto seemed to think the same thing, though he wasn’t a fan of escalating things.
But this guy…he had some audacity talking to you like that.
Risotto puts his hands on the table, and stands up slowly, deliberately, to his full height, tilting his head slightly to better look the smaller man in the eyes.
“She’s just being polite,” Risotto corrects the man. His voice is still calm, but his speaking speed is Slightly slower. Paired with him purposefully emphasizing his full height, the warning that he wasn’t going to stay civil for much longer was clear.
The unwanted visitor inwardly debates for a moment, visibly shaken from Risotto’s intimidation but absolutely too embarrassed to just back off now.
He foolishly decides to keep going.
“She-” he’s cut off by an almost explosive gush of blood coming out of his own nose. You gasp at the suddenness, but instantly realize what’s happening. He slams his hand over his nose, the blood not stopping that easily, almost immediately leaking through his fingers.
“Oh…” Risotto remarks with obviously fake concern, leaning in as if he were examining the “mysterious” nosebleed. “You’d better take care of that before you get blood all over the place…” he states the obvious with complete unconcern.
It was admittedly a bit funny to watch that jerk sprint to the restroom clutching his bloody nose.
There is a minuscule tug to the edges of Risotto’s lips.
“Risotto! Sudden unexplainable nosebleeds aren’t funny at all,” you chide, despite not feeling an ounce of pity. It’s not like Risotto was trying to kill that guy, if he was he would be bleeding out on the ground right now. The goal was just to embarrass him a bit, and he definitely succeeded.
“I think that was just a suitable divine punishment,” Risotto replies with a shrug, as if his stand, Metallica, had nothing to do with it. It’s subtle but…you can tell he’s irritated someone really had that kind of nerve to bother you for no reason. But you won’t let it ruin his whole day, reminding him that you got off work early today and you’ve been really excited to finally have some free time to spend with him.

Chapter Text

-Formaggio: Very casual flirt, tends to walk that line that makes you wonder if he’s actually flirting with you or just being nice. And he’ll flirt with any cute thing that catches his eye, doesn’t mean he’s looking for anything serious, but giving him attention back will make him hover around a bit more. He wants to see what will happen.
He’ll offer to buy you a drink at the bar, asking if the seat next to you was taken, and if not he’ll playfully wonder out loud why. You really don’t have a sweetheart? Well he’s nobody’s first choice but if you want some company for the night, he’s a pretty good conversationalist~
He’s a natural, much more socially aware than most of his squad mates. He knows leaning forward while you talk will make you feel heard, and asking you questions about yourself will make him seem genuinely interested in you. By the end of the night, his hand’s on the back of your chair and you’re sharing drinks and laughing together. Maybe you’ve even given him your number. But don’t take it personally when the second you turn around suddenly he’s chatting it up with the next cute thing he spotted. He’s not even trying to make you jealous, he’s just having a good time, and there’s plenty of him to share. If you do actually want to get somewhere with him, make it obvious…he likes that and he’ll be willing to give you more attention for bold behavior.

-Illuso: God, he is BORING. His body language doesn’t even convey any particular interest in you, and he doesn’t even ask about you, just starts listing his appealing traits to try to convince you he’s a good time and worth spending an evening with. You suspect he just wants money from you, but he’s just not very good at flirting. He really does want you to let him take you out on the town for the night, but he’s too prideful to ask outright…it feels like begging to him. You’d be better off just asking him yourself if he wants to spend the evening with you. He has some nerve acting like he wasn’t trying for that when he says: “Well, if you insist~”

-Prosciutto: He’s extraordinarily blunt but…when you’re as handsome and serious as he is it honestly works.
Don’t try to play coy with him if he decides to approach you, he wants some companionship tonight and he’s not gonna work that hard for it. You only get one chance with him before he decides if he does or doesn’t want to spend an evening with you, so be assertive back if you think he’s someone you wanna play with.
“You want a drink on me or not?” he asks, resting his elbow on the bar and gazing at you with those intense eyes. He won’t ask again. It’s yes or no. And if you say yes he’s gonna order you whatever he thinks you want.
He’s a horribly grumpy and audacious companion…but once you get used to it he doesn’t have ill-intentions. He just wants a good time tonight, like most people who go out alone to a bar on the weekend.

-Pesci: One word. AWKWARD. He does Not know much about flirting, beyond the basics. But knowing the basics doesn’t mean he knows how to put them all together. People like compliments…but also confidence and devil may care attitudes…and how is he even supposed to know what you like…?
He didn’t mean to just. Sit there and stare at you from across the restaurant. He didn’t realize he was even doing that until your eyes meet and you awkwardly wave him over, since clearly he wants something from you.
He settles for the only thing he can think to do as he awkwardly shuffles over to your table. He tells you he likes your shoes. It makes you laugh and you ask him his name and invite him to sit with you, willing to see where this might go. You end up giving him your number, since you couldn’t deny a bit of curiosity towards him.

-Melone: He walks by your table at a restaurant and not so subtly tosses a cocktail napkin in front of you, with something written on it:
“Nice thighs~”
Signed with his number and his name with a heart next to it.
Gross, what the hell…?
It doesn’t take long for you to catch his eye, and you shake your head and glare at him disapprovingly. He just tilts his head at you, his eyes narrowing as his lips turn up into a smirk and he blows you a kiss.
GROSS. What the HELL?
You have no idea if he’s just being confident, stupid, or straight-up a creep.
You subtly text one of your friends to come pick you up so you don’t have to walk home alone tonight.
You have No idea what that guy was Expecting to get out of that interaction, but he can forget it until he improves his flirting game, if that’s even what that was-

-Ghiaccio: He is NOT the type to humiliate himself by flirting with random people. He finds it desperate, and he’s not much of a quick fling or even “romantic relationships” person anyways. If he does end up attempting to flirt with you, it’s because he’s known you for a while and truly has some sort of mind-consuming crush on you. If it didn’t literally keep him up at night, he’d probably never ask you out and just bottle it up forever.
It’s a bit terrifying to see him stomp over to you, that signature intenseness permeating his body language. Despite how naturally cold his body was, his face looks warm and he speaks especially loudly while trying to give you a kind compliment. He doesn’t beat around the bush for very long. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME FOR DINNER?!” he screams at you, unintentionally. Say yes and he’ll tell you he’ll pick you up at 6:30 exactly and then hurry off in a huff of embarrassment. Say no and he’ll activate White Album and escape as fast as possible and avoid you for the rest of the day, ending the evening with an apology text and insisting you both just forget he ever said anything. Please. He will DIE if you mention it again after rejecting him-

-Risotto Nero: He’s very much like Ghiaccio in the sense that he’s not interested in some sort of quick and casual thing, or relationships in general. He’s got a job to do, he doesn’t have time for dating. But if he’s known you for a while and enjoys your company…there’s a slim chance he’ll attempt to flirt, with the intent of inviting you on a date. It’s a bit awkward, and you really can’t tell what he’s going for at first when he mentions a nice, secluded spot for a private stroll. It honestly kinda sounds like a threat when he words it like that, though you’re sure that’s not his intent. But being direct with him will make him more direct with you.
Ask if he’s inviting you on a date and he’ll say yeah, that was the intention…only if you aren’t busy and actually wish to spend some time with him.
You’re sure it’ll be a bit quiet and awkward at first but…you’re flattered to be invited, and don’t have any plans that night so…may as well.

Chapter Text

Rohan Kishibe: It absolutely has to be the way he purposely tries to get reactions out of you for the sake of his artistic visions. It’s completely fine when it’s pleasant emotions he’s looking for, surprise gifts or sudden compliments so he can see what it does to your facial expressions, body language, and the way you talk. However, unpleasant emotions are what he really wishes to observe, and unfortunately for you he sees you as a perfect muse. He figures it’d be fine since you were partners.
However you don’t appreciate his random surprise actions that are meant to get a genuine reaction from you. It’s really irritating. You don’t need him essentially just bothering you for the sake of art.
And his weird beef with the local teenagers is really ridiculous. You wouldn’t miss hearing him complain about Josuke and his friends every other day.

Guido Mista: He wanted to move way, way, WAY too fast for your taste. He does Not have a lot of romantic relationship experience, and that became real obvious by how quickly he was expecting the two of you to get Real cozy with each other. Just a few weeks after dating and he’s legit expecting to sleep in the same bed as you, among other much too comfortable things for a couple that have only been together for three weeks.
You’re very flattered he’s so comfortable with you and eager to get more intimate so quickly, but he really needs to slow down a bit-
He gets that he’s in the wrong after you explain that you’re not ready to move so fast, and he profusely, genuinely apologizes for being so hasty. He’s honest with you about it, he’s not sure what he’s doing, and he was really eager to finally have someone he actually saw himself getting serious with and ended up moving too quickly.

Bruno Bucciarati: He’s the perfect man but if I Had to pick something for him…he’s so used to dealing with a group that is very familiar with his tough love and frequent yelling, so on rare occasions it slips his mind that he has to speak to you differently, more gently, than he has to with a group of hardened mafia boys. Every once in a while he’ll accidentally talk to you like you’re one of his team members, which can range from him saying something really weird, to something that sounds very cold and harsh.
It’s not a big deal once you have a deeper understanding of him, and appreciate that he’s one of the kindest men you know, and that icy demeanor is a necessary part of keeping everyone’s trust in him. But before you appreciated that, it was very disconcerting to be randomly subjected to this side of him, but he would always immediately apologize, and you’d quickly forget about it. As the two of you get more comfortable in your relationship you rarely have any issues with him accidentally losing his composure around you, and even when he does, you’re much more sympathetic.

Leone Abbacchio: He’s a bit of a slob, honestly, in the sense that he struggles to take care of himself and be considerate of you. It’s not on purpose either when he disregards your convenience…he’s just not used to sharing space with someone else, let alone someone he needs to be more sensitive and caring towards.
You especially notice after he moves in with you how he tends to be a bit of a mess. Silver hair in your bathroom sink and shower drain…occasionally you have to remind him to brush his teeth or change into something more comfortable before bed or take off his makeup or move to the bedroom before falling asleep. You’re surprised at how used he is to just passing out on the couch.
He acts grouchy about it sometimes, not used to being “nagged” into taking care of himself, but deep down he appreciates how much more comfortable his life is after having you around to remind him to do little things for himself.

Diego Brando: He’s very odd in general but the borderline unbearable habit has to be when he seemingly randomly starts sniffing you. And he’s INVASIVE about it too-completely in your personal space sniffing you up and down, his face in your chest, and then in the crook of your neck, and now he’s trying to sniff your breath-
DIO, PLEASE. PERSONAL SPACE.
Push him away and he’ll just sniff your hands and wrists instead.
And. He tends to get carried away in his physical affection when under the influence of Scary Monsters, so you might get bitten or scratched way too hard for it to be considered playful. And he has the audacity to act confused over why you’re yelping in pain from his touch, as if he’s not acting like an animal.

Gyro Zeppeli: You love him, you love him SO much but he is STUBBORN and has an attitude problem. Sometimes it’s like talking to a brick wall that can also argue back. Grown-ass man but when he doesn’t want to do something he’ll fight you on it like a child. Ex. He doesn’t want to go to your great aunt’s third wedding and he Definitely doesn’t want to put on another suit for it-wow you were close to whipping out the divorce threat after that argument-
This happens a lot…insanely loud and volatile arguments that make you sound like a couple that really shouldn’t be together, and you both say some pretty crazy things but that’s just the nature of your relationship. You both forget about it within a few hours and move on. You rarely ever actually hurt each other’s feelings, and even if you did you’re both not So stubborn that you won’t apologize if your relationship is actually on the line.
But still. As used as you are to his difficult moments, you could really do without the attitude and talkback on every little thing he didn’t want to deal with.

Chapter Text

Characters: Johnny Joestar, Gyro Zeppeli, Diego Brando in:

“A golden bird that flies away
A candle’s fickle flame
To think I held you yesterday
Your love was just a game”

Johnny Joestar: You had been arranged to marry into the Joestar family ever since you were a kid, given both of your families were wealthy but just short of being pure aristocracy. Such a marriage wasn’t much more than a weak attempt at playing noble for the actual aristocracy, but you didn’t have any say, fighting with your parents over it was unthinkable to you, since it was instilled in you since birth that you only lived for your family legacy and your parents knew best when it came to such matters.
You were betrothed to Nicholas Joestar originally.
He died very young, and your family gave the Joestars some space and time to mourn the loss of their eldest son…but you heard your parents discussing it occasionally, in all their pride and apathy, that the Joestars promised them you would marry a Joestar boy…and the Joestars still had another son. “Better hurry up with this marriage before the other one gets trampled by a horse too,” you remember your mother scoffing coldly as she sipped expensive tea.
The only ones who walked away happy from all of this were your parents. To the Joestars, you were a living reminder of what was lost…Johnny had only met you a few times before when you were younger; the last time he had seen you was when you were both kids. It was nothing personal when he passed you a look at your reunion that told you immediately he didn’t want to marry you. You didn’t blame him at all, how could he look at you and not think of his dead brother? You didn’t realize how deep it went, all that stuff about how his relationship with his father crumbled over his brother’s death, how his father said it should’ve been him instead-
It wasn’t until just after your marriage he informed you his father wanted nothing to do with him and that he didn’t intend to stick around where he wasn’t wanted, and would instead focus on horse racing and living large.
The marriage only happened because Johnny’s excessively stubborn father had made a promise to your family. You would be taken care of and treated as a Joestar, given you were blameless in this mess. Johnny not so much.
Well you really didn’t know what to do with yourself. You thought you’d look ridiculous getting married and then immediately letting your husband run off and do whatever the hell he wanted while you stayed at home and tried to maintain the appearance of a happy and put together family…
You didn’t know him at all, really. It’s not like you had some strong personal and romantic relationship with him. It’s not so much a dissatisfaction with being so far apart from him because you loved him, but because your family reputation was a deeply instilled priority to you.
But your parents didn’t care about Johnny Joestar either. You were married, you were a part of the Joestar fortune now…who cares that your husband was off doing whatever he pleased? They advised you just stay at home and not worry about him too much. Attend his races on occasion to look like a dutiful spouse, answer tactfully if the press ever ask about him and you, act like everything was fine and things would eventually work out well for you…that’s what your parents said, at least.
You get that he would want to distance himself and even distract himself from you…but still, you thought he’d put a BIT more thought to his own reputation given he was Technically a married man.
You kept it to yourself when you learned about how “popular” Johnny was with his “fans”; yeah he only had a relationship with you in name alone, but STILL. Surely he knew how bad it reflected on both of you when he spent romantic nights with people who weren’t his spouse?
Maybe it was a bit hypocritical of you, given you barely spent even one day with him every couple of weeks. When you did spend time with him, it was usually just an awkward dinner, and it often ended pretty poorly.
He’ll look you in the eye and respond when you make small talk, but if you want to talk about your marriage or his relationship with his father or anything about what he should be doing vs what he is doing with his life-
He tries not to get too mad at you because how can you be blamed for worrying about what you were taught to worry about? But it still pisses him off when you preach to him. And yeah, you’d probably be more understanding if he actually explained what happened between him and his father, but on the other hand he doesn’t want to talk about it and he doesn’t owe you anything anyways.
Fine. If he finds you irritating, you’ll just stop talking. He says that’s not what he meant and that you’re very frustrating to deal with and not even trying to see things from his perspective. You ask him how you’re supposed to see his perspective if he doesn’t tell you anything.
It was the first time he’s ever really raised his voice at you. You can’t even comprehend what he’s talking about when he screams that he should’ve been the one that had died that day, and even just being near you made that feeling even stronger. You should be married to Nicholas right now, not him. He’s reminded of that every single time he looks at you and he knows it’s not fair but sometimes he can’t stand you just because of it.
You can’t bring yourself to stop him when he leaves in frustration. Whatever’s going on with him, clearly it’s deeper than you’re capable of dealing with right now.
You stopped attending his races, sending letters, or even checking the morning paper for his name. Clearly he wanted space from you, and you were going to respect that. If he didn’t want your company and advice, you weren’t going to keep chasing after him. If the fame and rush of the racing world even somewhat filled that void in his heart, then let him live his life.
You knew something was wrong when you woke up one morning and your family house was especially quiet.
Neither of your parents were looking at you, your father grimacing at the day’s paper, and your mother’s face scrunched in irritation.
“Apparently we have married you off to an Icarus…those Joestars must be terrible luck,” your mother grumbled, hoping that whatever she was referring to wouldn’t also affect her family too severely.
“What…? What happened?” Something had happened to Johnny, and you’re immediately reminded of how the last time you spoke to him you had decided you weren’t going to try reaching out to him anymore.
Your father doesn’t say anything. Just flips the newspaper around and tosses it to you.
You can only gasp, not sure what to say or do…what did your parents even expect you to do? They didn’t care about Johnny, but he was your husband-
You should go see him. He had been shot, he wouldn’t ever walk again if he even survived, and as his spouse you should be there for him, regardless of your troubled history with him.
Nobody goes with you. You’re the only member of his family who bothered to take the time to visit him.
There are no words. What are you supposed to say to him? What is he supposed to say to you? He couldn’t even bring himself to look at you anymore.
You did the only thing you could think to do, and you silently stayed by his side. You’d do a few of the little things you could for him, or find a nurse or doctor for the things you couldn’t.
You didn’t care that the hospital staff were getting irritated with you. Someone would always have to escort you out when visiting hours were over, otherwise you’d literally fall asleep in his room even if that meant sleeping in a horribly uncomfortable chair.
You were always there early, nagging to see Johnny and asking about his condition and wondering when he could leave and worrying out loud about whether or not he’d agree to come home with you.
“Mx. Joestar. You’re disturbing the other patients with your constant fussing, we understand you’re worried about your husband but you must keep it down and stop distracting the staff from their duties or we will have to ask you to leave.”
You don’t really listen to the doctor’s warning, especially given you’ve just realized no one working there will take care of him unless you nag constantly, and even then it was only the bare minimum amount of effort.
You won’t leave, and even if you’re dragged out you’ll just find a way to sneak back in.
It’s all very ironic. You can’t quite explain your sudden devotion for him, maybe it was because at the end of the day you felt a duty to him as his spouse…or maybe even just because he had no one else who was willing to stay. All those friends and fangirls during his fifteen minutes of fame were gone now.
But if it meant anything, he had his spouse that he couldn’t even bring himself to look at or speak to.
You remember it distinctly, very tired from a long day of fretting over everything you had been neglecting while staying with Johnny.
They had taken the chair out of his room, to try and discourage you from staying as long as you usually would. So instead you just sat on the floor next to his bed, holding onto his hand. From the floor you couldn’t really see him, and he couldn’t really see you. The removal of eye contact made him comfortable enough to talk to you, just a little bit. There wasn’t much he wanted to say. He told you what had happened to him just a few short but excruciating months ago, and with his father. Once again words failed to come to you, since you had never experienced a suffering like Johnny has endured. So your only response was the occasional squeeze to his hand, an indication you were listening.
He told you thank you, because it was the only thing he could think to say to you. Just in general. Thank you.
A pair of nurses walk by, the walls thin enough in the wreck of a hospital for the two of you to easily hear what they were saying, especially given they were talking in a volume like they didn’t care who heard.
Talking about how you were always there visiting him and causing a ruckus over him, and even if you were a headache to them Johnny was “pretty damn lucky” to have such a devoted spouse like you.
Johnny…pretty damn lucky…? Johnny was a lot of things, but lucky was literally at the bottom of the list of things you’d call him.
Johnny huffs bitterly at the irony, and you kiss his knuckles in an attempt to tell him to pay them no mind.
It dawns on you as you sit on the dirty hospital floor and cling to your husband’s hand. Neither of you have any idea of what to expect for the future…all the two of you have been focusing on is getting to the next day.
He can’t race anymore. And you would never ask him to try to make up with his father and return home, with everything that happened and the fact that he hasn’t even visited Johnny in the hospital once after the incident.
Well. At absolute worst your parents would only complain about you bringing Johnny to your family home. The two of you could manage that. It would only be until the two of you adjust enough to Johnny’s situation….then the two of you would go and…and…you don’t even know, you can’t think of anything. And you’re putting the cart before the horse worrying about that right now, given that you and Johnny should probably focus on forming an actual relationship first.
In the swirl of your complete mess of a marriage, it’s finally occurring to you…

You honestly don’t know anything about Johnny! And he didn’t know anything about you either, given you’ve probably had a max of twenty short conversations in your marriage so far.

And you really hate that it took him literally getting shot for you to start thinking about him again, but that was reality, there was no point criticizing yourself, and given your current situation…you had time to start trying to make this marriage into something salvageable.
He was reluctant, but not entirely unreceptive to the idea now that his life had been entirely altered, and given you were literally the only person who stuck around…it was fair to at least try to bond with you.
And it’s not like he had anyone else to talk to or any other place he could go.

Gyro Zeppeli: He knows it’s not your fault that his reluctance to get hitched resulted in some drastic measures needing to be taken. But he sure liked to act like it was your fault. He was usually grumpy with you when you were around his family. He was gonna make it clear how he felt about he felt about this whole situation. Though when it’s just the two of you he won’t be as hostile, since most of his ire and sass is meant for his parents, not you. You were just the unfortunate person who got dragged into this nonsense.
You were from a small and relatively unknown but respectable family, with a bright future as a student of the rapidly developing new science of psychology. You would be a great fit for a doctor from the renowned Zeppeli family…and as soon as your parents realized the opportunity that was presented before them, of course they were quick to make the arrangements.
Having your husband just decided for you without you even getting the opportunity to meet him beforehand didn’t sound the most pleasant, but really you only cared about your studies, and your parents insisted marrying into the Zeppeli family would get you access to all sorts of new opportunities to enhance your learning.
And a doctor couldn’t possibly have been the worst company. You were talked into thinking marrying a man without meeting him once was actually a decent idea, somehow.
But, well…you feel like you can’t Really be blamed for having a certain image in your mind when you were told the man you were betrothed to was from a renowned family of doctors.
He straight-up ignored you when you finally met him a few weeks before the wedding. Well, technically he did look at you when you first walked through the door, but with a very intense glare. And then he didn’t really acknowledge you.
But that wasn’t gonna stop you from scrutinizing him…what kinda Doctor looked and acted like he did?? You were expecting a gentleman. This guy…his hair was long and wild, the body language of a man who intended to do whatever the hell he wanted. Even though you could tell he was raised to have a lot of respect for his parents, you could feel he was super irritated with them for setting all this up.
You told yourself first impressions weren’t everything…maybe you just needed some one-on-one time to get to know him. No matter how you tried though…apparently Dr. Zeppeli was too busy to spare even a moment for you, every single day.
Well he couldn’t avoid you forever…he was going to be legally married to you in just a few weeks and then he’d Have to acknowledge you.
And well. He kinda did. After the wedding you finally got some private time with him but…he got super drunk to drown his frustration with this whole mess. Ah well. Liquor loosens lips, so you got to piece together quite a bit of what you unintentionally got yourself involved in. Apparently there was a lot expected of him as the eldest, but even as drunk as he was he held some closely guarded secrets about himself and his family, just saying something about how with luck you wouldn’t have to worry about it, because he didn’t intend to be a husband to you and hopefully you’d be free from all of this in a few weeks. You couldn’t tell what he was planning on doing, but just from the short time you’ve had to observe him you have a feeling it’ll be something stupid and reckless. And there was no way you could talk him out of it. But you had time to plan for whatever it was, because in the morning he wasn’t doing anything or going anywhere due to a horrible hangover. You took care of him, and he was grouchy about it, and you knew it was because he felt bad about dragging you into this even though he wasn’t the type to openly admit it.
You don’t think it’d even be worth trying to reason with him, since clearly he was more stubborn than you’d ever be, so you choose to sit back and observe how things play out. You were beginning to think that your marriage really was going to get called off and you’d be a divorcee at a young age.
You just leave him alone for a few weeks. You’re living under his roof, but neither of you see much of the other, given your dedication to studying and his determination to avoid you.
And eventually, he seems to give up on putting things back to the way they were.
One evening you were deep into a large textbook, scribbling notes in the margins, your hand beginning to ache from how long you had been working. You were just about to take a break, but decide to pretend you were still working when you hear the front door swing open, knowing Gyro was back.
You’re sitting in one of the two comfortable chairs in the lounge room. He wordlessly sits in the one next to you, dragging a hand along his face, conveying a strong irritation but reluctant acceptance for whatever he had decided on today.
He just stares at you for a moment, and you meet his gaze evenly.
“You still working on that essay?” he asks, leaning back in his chair, initiating a conversation with you for the first time since you met him.
“Yeah…getting close to done, finally.” You tap your pencil against the book. You only had a few more paragraphs to go before your magnum opus paper would be complete, and this textbook had all the last remaining sources you’d need.
“That’s….good. You’ve got a good…work ethic,” he attempts to compliment you. Oof, awkward….but you appreciate the attempt to make the best of a situation he really didn’t like.
Because of the unconventional nature of your relationship, he understandably doesn’t know how he should be behaving, and a part of him doesn’t want to know since he never wanted this.
He feels more like an unpredictable roommate to you than a husband…sometimes he’s casual and makes small talk with you but keeps you at arm’s length, and other times he’s unintentionally a completely neglectful partner. He won’t tell you where he’s going, who he’ll be with, and when he’ll be back unless you specifically ask. Sometimes he won’t come home at all. You’ve spent many a late night waiting up on him, worrying about where he could be, only for him to show up early in the morning and dismissing your questions with some half-assed excuse. He says he’s tired, please leave him alone. And if you say anything more he’ll get irritated. But he’s always “tired” or “had a stressful day”…you know that’s not in his disposition…he’ll just say whatever to get you to leave him alone. You get why he wouldn’t want to deal with you, and you can’t really blame him for treating you like someone to avoid but it’s still…frustrating. You get that he didn’t care for you at all but he could at least give you some clearer communication, even if he disliked the feeling of even pretending to be a real couple. He doesn’t have to love you, or even like you, but nothing changes the fact that the two of you are gonna be stuck together for a while so he better embrace it and start talking with you like an adult.
But unfortunately for you, you’re married to the most stubborn man on the planet.
Arguments aren’t Frequent because most of the time he avoids you, but if you do manage to irritate each other enough at the same time, there may be an occasional shouting match. And it makes him even more irritated if you manage to stay calm and tell him he doesn’t need to yell at you. Because he knows you’re right. He was raised better than that. But he often let his emotions control the way he spoke, even when he didn’t necessarily mean anything by the way he yells or the things he says.
Eventually it gets to the point where you’re both short with each other, often getting into small and petty arguments over anything, and still consistently keeping your distance from each other.
So when he came home one day announcing he’d be leaving for America in a week to participate in some race…you had to admit some relief. Almost four whole months…with no Gyro. You told him to have fun in America and bring you back a souvenir and that’s about all you had to say on it. Whatever his reasons, it didn’t matter, since he wouldn’t tell you anyways.
Honestly maybe it would be good for both of you to have some space from each other. Maybe it’s what you needed, a little distance, some time to reflect…and maybe you could both be a little bit calmer with each other when he got back and he told you all about his grand adventure in America.
Oddly enough you found yourself looking forward to hearing him talk about his trip, though you told yourself you were just happy to get away from him.
You had even kissed him goodbye, and he teasingly asked if you were gonna miss him while he flashed that goofy smile at you.
And you had proudly turned your head away from him and said “no” and that he better hurry up lest the boat leave without him.
You still can’t believe that was the last time you ever saw him alive…and what makes you feel even worse is that you’re not sure if you even would’ve been nicer to him if you had known.
Especially because of how that Johnny Joestar guy who brought his body back home was surprised to meet you. Apparently Gyro hadn’t mentioned you to him.

Diego Brando: You had heard of him in newspapers, and from your friends invested in the horse races…Diego Brando…it was no exaggeration to say he was at the top of the Jockey world.
And you were a wealthy member of the aristocracy, the sole heir to a marvelous fortune…it would be no exaggeration to say you were at the top of the spoiled rotten world paved by old money. You would be inheriting the family railroad industry one day, born to a life of luxury and success, like a pampered bird living in a comfortable golden cage. It was all you would ever know, but if you already had it so good, why would you need anything else?
You became acquainted with him on a fateful day where your parents insisted you watch one of his prestigious races. You couldn’t imagine why they’d want to drag you to one of those, given you were known to get bored and complain and leave early when an event disinterested you…but you complied without too much of a fuss, admittedly curious to see the world renowned jockey himself in person.
You didn’t understand when your parents looked at you with much more seriousness than usual when you arrived.
“You will say yes, or you won’t be welcome home anymore,” your father had said to you cryptically, the intensity in his face telling you he was not making a joke.
“Say yes? To what?” you frowned, confused, and nervous by the threat. Your father didn’t usually order much of anything of you, let alone use such a serious tone.
“Just make sure you do it,” he huffed, clearly anxious for whatever was going to happen at this race, and you can only imagine what it could be. What could your father not tell you…?
It was pretty hard to focus on the race with that looming over you, but even with the anxiety weighing on your mind, you had to admit…Diego Brando really knew how to work a crowd. He had presence, he stood out…and you always believed that sort of arrogant confidence was okay if someone had the skills to back it up. And he certainly had the skills. He made it look so effortless that you could almost imagine yourself out there riding a horse in a race.
An easy victory for him, wasn’t even close really…and still you had found yourself entertained. Remarkable…no wonder he was called a genius.
And to your surprise, as the crowds gathered around him to congratulate him and snap photos, he looked over at where you were sitting and smiled and made a grand statement about how he “dedicated his victory to you” and you had no idea what was going on but with everyone’s eyes on you and that handsome jockey you hadn’t even met before saying such bold things to you-
You felt so embarrassed! But having Diego’s attention in front of all his fans…it did make you feel important.
Even though this all reeked of a grand Publicity Stunt, you felt butterflies in your stomach when he gestured for you to come down and speak to him.
All those eyes on you, your father’s words echoing in your mind…there was NO way this was going where you thought this was going-you told yourself you were just overthinking all of this and there was NO WAY he was going to-
The crowds part just enough for you to reach him, everyone watching and murmuring amongst themselves, cameras already poised, ready to capture this moment. Like it was all planned, all masterminded, and everyone knew exactly what was going to happen except for you.
He pulls his gloves off so he can take your hands in his, lightly tugs your knuckles to his lips, and then makes quite an extravagant display of getting on one knee and asking you right there with the confidence of a God among men for your hand in marriage.
‘You will say yes,’…this is all so sudden…you don’t even really have time to think, and if you were going to say ‘yes’ you had to do it quickly so it didn’t look suspicious…you allowed yourself to shout out an enthusiastic: “Yes!!!” and you even wrapped your arms around his strong shoulders and hugged him to make it look more convincing, because the fear of not going home after this scared you enough to agree to whatever the hell this was. He hugged you back, placing his chin on your shoulder…and even with his smaller stature and lean build the grip he had on you felt…like the most literal form of possessive. Like he had gotten his hands on an expensive gemstone, and was showing it off to the crowd, and making it clear it was his and no one else’s.
…
Diego told you your parents came to him begging him to marry you. And when he told you why, as much as it made you bitter and defiant, you had to admit it sounded like something they’d think up.
You were smart, they knew that, but because of the accidental spoiling and pampering you had very little motivation, and they were greatly concerned in how you would manage on your own. It would be beneficial for you to have Diego around, given he was clearly a man who hungered. Motivated, self-made through his skill and willingness to do most anything to reach his goal, but never sacrificing his dignity. But he’s sure the fact that he was rich and famous had something to do with why they approached him too. Tacking ‘Brando’ onto your name set you up for success, one way or another, whether he ended up continuing the cycle of indulging you in your pampered life or inspiring you with his fierce motivation…you would be taken care of.
That entire story was complete nonsense, crafted by him, and you were none the wiser. As long as he kept you that way…reaching the apex of society became more and more of a reality. You didn’t have to know that he was the one who actually approached your parents with a deal that would “benefit everyone”. And your parents’ love for you was so deep all he had to do was promise to take good care of you and they were willing to go along with whatever he asked of them.
You seemed perfect for each other in the public eye, a daring, charismatic and wealthy jockey like him and a noble, elegant and wealthy heir to a renowned railroad company like you…quite the celebrity couple~
The envy of all, two of the most desirable prizes at the top of society, very fitting that you got together. Everything about the two of you just seemed so…natural. Like this was how it was supposed to be.
The two of you were just good at playing nice in the public eye.
Honestly at first it had started out okay, given how suddenly you were thrown into marriage. He was charming even in private, if not a little weird and invasive sometimes. He always intended to do whatever he wanted, and sometimes he’d irritate you or embarrass you and not take you seriously when you voiced your concerns, but otherwise he was tolerable, if only barely.
Things really escalated after a few months, right as you were finally adjusting to your eccentric husband and really learning to love him despite how suddenly your life had changed because of him…
Your parents were found dead in their garden on their estate.
You remember how softly Diego had held you when you gripped his shirt tightly and sobbed into his chest as the police told you they had both been poisoned. They said they’d do everything in their power to find who did this and bring them to justice. You didn’t care. You only wanted your parents back.
Days turned to weeks, and there weren’t even any clues to a suspect, and your usually eccentric and energetic husband had a shift in personality, which you assumed was due to your misery. It was even stranger to see Diego be quiet, gently rubbing your shoulders when you’d burst out into tears and even taking a short break from racing to spend with you while you grieved. He was comforting. And the only person you had now.
That soft, warm comfort he brought you in your sudden anguish did not last long.
Your parents’ last will and testament told you everything you needed to know.
Your name had been omitted. They had left everything to their dear son-in-law: Diego Brando. The entire railroad company, all their estates, the family fortune…
You’re sure they didn’t just DO that on a whim. And you’re sure that even without any physical proof you knew what had actually occurred these past few months.
Diego Brando was using your family. He had wormed his way in like an undercover invader, manipulating your parents, and then killing them once he got what he wanted from them. And he positioned you into a spot where you were completely powerless. Such a masterful domination in so few actions. You had no moves you could really make, the trap had been hidden in plain sight…and you would almost consider being impressed with how ingenious it was if you weren’t the one being hurt by it.
He knew it’d be obvious to you once you got a look at the will. So there was no longer a reason to play pretend with you.
He’ll lay it all out for you, so there’s no confusion.
The only reason you’re still alive is because it’s convenient. Imagine how suspicious it’d look if your entire family was conveniently wiped out by an assassin, of course he’d look like the obvious suspect…but if you were still alive and healthy and looking happy with him, this dance became much simpler.
Don’t get him wrong…if he has to, he absolutely can kill you, even if it’d be a headache to deal with.
Just behave yourself, keep quiet, and he’d keep his promise to your parents. As much as he detested the thought of taking care of one of the very people he despised (a person born into a life of luxury who never had to work for anything), he would do almost anything if there was an advantage to gain for himself.
With his intentions finally revealed to you, he wasn’t going to keep acting like he liked you. He said he’d take care of your physical needs. If you had a house to live in and food to eat then he was fulfilling his end of the bargain, how he treated you beyond that was up to him.
He never fancied him much of a sadist, but he did derive some enjoyment from tormenting you, using how you both hated and feared him for his own entertainment.
He knew he liked feeling powerful, but even he was surprised at how that applied to the control he had over you.
You could look at him with intense hatred whenever you wanted, but you couldn’t do anything to him. And you flinched away when he got close, and he kinda liked the way you squirmed away from him and quivered when he reached out to touch you.
Simply, he’s a bully. He’s rude to you, sometimes even using his strength to manhandle you a bit. He tries not to leave any marks or bruises, he doesn’t think he’s that kind of tyrant. But the little threats here and there, reminders of what he Could do to you if you stepped out of line…you have to wonder why he likes to scare you too…has he not already tormented you enough? He killed your parents, stole your inheritance, and he plagued you when the mood struck him just because he could. Why? To gloat?
The best thing you can do for yourself is try not to react. Try as hard as you can not to flinch when he flashes his frighteningly sharp teeth at you, don’t even say anything when he bosses you around, just silently do whatever he asked. Maintain eye contact, respond monotonously, don’t give him any “fun” reactions by cowering in front of him, regardless of how far he goes to intimidate you.
He’ll get bored of you and opt to entertain himself with something else. Technically you’re just being boring, not stepping out of line, so he has no reason to hurt you.
At worst he’ll get really irritated and complain you’re uninteresting now, but he ends up leaving you alone more often, though you know he doesn’t intend to let you win this battle. You’ve been with him long enough to know he cannot stand the thought of losing. He’d find some way to get back at you, he was petty in that regard. And he was not going to let it go until he was confident your mind was completely under his heel again.
You don’t know why he doesn’t just divorce you and move on, you wouldn’t fight him at this point, you just wanted to get away from him…
But he had some inexplicable pride that made him see you as part of the prize he had worked for, another status symbol, tangible proof of his ascent to the apex of society. He wouldn’t just give up a trophy he had earned. What self-respecting man would?

Chapter Text

Johnny Joestar: You had Intended in the beginning to obey your simple directive. Retrieve whatever corpse parts Johnny Joestar and Gyro Zeppeli had acquired, and eliminate them if possible. The method was up to you, and as wary as they were of you, there was no way they could know of your true nature. All you had to do was wait for their guard to drop enough for you to make your move.
Getting close to Johnny was all part of the act, initially. Though the admiration you felt for his resolve was genuine…and so was the eventual real affection you found yourself feeling for him in the quiet moments you spent with him during your short periods of rest at night. You told yourself (and the President, in your infrequent status updates) that you’d wait just a little longer before making your move under the pretense that you were aiming to procure more corpse parts. If you waited longer, maybe they’d find more. You’re sure your consistent inaction is what prompted Valentine to call off your mission, and order you return to his side (since Clearly you needed a reminder of your place in all this, and you performed your tasks more successfully when you felt the inherent threat of his presence.)
You had wished Johnny had just shot you right then and there when you obeyed Valentine’s command like the lapdog you were, shamefully returning to him, unwilling to murmur your apologies given how entirely dishonest and empty it would sound now that you’ve thoroughly betrayed him.
Why didn’t he just shoot you…he knew you were the enemy now. You knew Johnny had the resolve to do it. So why didn’t he just kill you himself?
It made your hands quiver with guilt, even more so when it dawned on you why.
He had doubt.
If you were truly his enemy, you had plenty of opportunities where you could have killed him and Gyro in the middle of the night and taken the corpse parts, or taken advantage of an enemy stand attack to quickly dispatch them, or the myriad of other opportunities you had to complete your mission. But you chose not to.
And that is why he hesitated.
You had to atone. You thought about it carefully, with lots of time to consider how you should, since the President also no longer trusted you and kept you on a tight leash by not even giving you anymore tasks to perform. You knew he was just observing you. Waiting for the inevitable betrayal you were planning, but keeping you alive as a potential human shield should Johnny still harbor any affection for you.
You settled on a phrase. A quick string of words you prayed you could say faster than the President could react to. Nothing sappy or sentimental about how you regretted betraying Johnny or that you really loved him and wished the best for him…something practical.
You knew you wouldn’t be capable of harming Valentine physically in your position, not with how powerful his stand was, and especially not with how carefully he was watching you.
So you’d give Johnny a hint. A vital piece of the puzzle. Johnny was smart, even if he couldn’t fully understand the meaning of your words immediately you knew he could still use them. Valentine’s hasty decision to keep you alive and close to him had backfired quite miraculously, because you had come to comprehend (at least to an extent) the new ability the holy corpse blessed him with.
The President had brought you along on that damn train, and so many had pursued.
And as soon as the opportunity presented itself, the moment Johnny was right in front of you, even though you knew you would be slaughtered immediately, you had resolved in your heart to warn Johnny about Love Train.
“The holy corpse redirects misfortune!”
It’s so…vague. Is it too vague? But that’s what it does, that’s the only way you could think to put it. The clearest and only way.
The bullets from Valentine’s revolver tore through your body as soon as the words left your mouth. You wondered why he had to shoot you so many times? He really was “Funny” Valentine…surely only one or two shots from that close would’ve been enough, this was just overkill.
How could you make jokes to yourself at a time like this…?
Because you had already accepted your death? Is it really possible to face something without fear just because you knew it was coming? That couldn’t be it. But maybe it was, for some things, and depending on who you are.
It was all so vague, so unsatisfying, your consciousness, your life, it was all fading so fast but at least you got to see Johnny again. Your vision was blurry and your mind fading but…even when he was looking at the scene unfolding before him with horror and agony, you could still see the subtle, quiet, but ever persistent resolve as even in all the chaos he was trying to piece together the meaning of your words so he would not need to hesitate anymore and waste even a second of your sacrifice.
You had said that for a reason. Willingly sacrificed whatever minuscule chance of survival you might’ve had if you just stayed quiet, to give him the slightest, vaguest advantage in this fight.
…
You too. One more name added to the list of so many people who left him behind. It’s bitter, it’s cold, there’s no silver lining in his mind, not a real one anyways. Did you have to die for Valentine to be defeated? Maybe not. If things had gone a bit differently, maybe you, and Gyro would still be alive right now.
But he can’t keep looking back. Even if all he can do is thank you both for the ways you’ve supported him and helped him grow, and make sure you were returned to your homes and properly buried, he would do all he could to make sure you were given the respect you both deserve. That was the highest way to honor you both. To keep living, since it was your lives that touched his and strengthened his resolve, a crucial push, a guiding hand, a light along his path. To honor you would be to move forward.

Gyro Zeppeli: A spy of the President, sent to observe him, try to figure out everything about him…Everything…age, height, weight, occupation, place of origin, motivation to join the race, real name, abilities, notable personality traits, etc…Most Importantly, you were to look for weaknesses. And if you couldn’t determine any, make one.
He feels so STUPID when he overheard you secretly speaking to someone over the telephone, concluding the call with a very clear “understood, Mr. President”.
He should’ve known better. Of course someone like you wasn’t actually interested in him, he had fallen so easily for your little guise as a spectator to the race. The story had sounded believable enough, but he accepted it quickly because you were skilled at flattering and buttering him up. Of course he wasn’t going to question you, not with how you praised his performance in the race, marveled at his talents, and shyly confessed you found him roguishly charming~
He bought you drinks at checkpoints when he could, and you would smile and ask him “shouldn’t you be resting?” and he’d say yes, but that he didn’t mind sacrificing an hour or so of downtime so he could spend it with you instead.
Well. If he insisted…you wouldn’t object~
It sounded so genuine when you gently placed your hand on his arm and asked him questions about himself.
He liked you a lot, asking you about yourself in turn and kissing you goodbye when it was time for him to leave. He still maintained his guard though, in a manner that implied he had been raised to keep certain things secret no matter what. But even his unwillingness to open up about certain things was information you could use to draw some conclusions.
You had been told Gyro was some dangerous threat, some bad man that you had to do everything in your power to stop. And maybe you had never been the best judge of character given you worked for Funny Valentine, but from your observance of Gyro…he wasn’t some evil force at all.
Your confidence was wavering, and with the way he was already talking eagerly about taking you back with him to his home country, for the first time in your life you were beginning to wonder if the path you were walking was really the right one.
You had intended that telephone conversation to be your last one, only making it because if you didn’t then someone would be sent to check on you. You had meant to come clean, confess to Gyro and Johnny, and try to make amends.
You had never expected when you were given this order directly from the President that you’d be chasing Gyro down and anxiously begging him to hear you out, because you feared losing the man you grew to love.
You know he’s stubborn. And he didn’t listen when he was really upset about something.
He finally looks at you when you actually step in front of him.
You had seen him angry before, but you felt the true weight of that intensity when it was actually fully directed at you.
It’s much worse to hear Gyro loudly tell you to get out of his way, and that he never wanted to see you again. It’s different when he’s yelling at you. You can’t think of anything to say, you have no defense…you tricked him, took advantage of his affection for you, all in the name of literally one of the evilest men currently alive.
Gyro deserved to be furious with you, so you stepped out of his way, your head lowered in shame. You wouldn’t be seeing him again anytime soon, if at all.
But you would attempt to assist him, in any small ways you could. Feeding false information to their enemies, and even silently taking out a few of the President’s hired assassins. You had intended to never run into Gyro again, to respect his wish of never seeing you, but it didn’t take long for the President to catch on to your betrayal. The reports he gave to you became vaguer and vaguer, until all you knew was that there was another stand user assassin waiting in Philadelphia.
True, and an effective trap for you. He could kill Many birds with one stone if he could get rid of you along with everyone else he planned on disposing of.
With no other knowledge of what you were looking for, you were a little late in finding the assassin. D-I-S-C-O was already fighting Gyro, but the silver lining was that he was so preoccupied with Gyro he didn’t notice you sneaking up behind him.
Despite how tough he liked to talk, you saw the momentary relief in Gyro’s eyes at the sight of you still alive.
“I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you again,” he huffs, but he didn’t have the same fire in his tone like when he was actually upset at you.
“I just saved your life,” you point out, trying to suppress the urge to melt right into his arms on the spot.
“I had it under control.”
“You’re welcome~”
He gave you a handsome smirk: “I still don’t trust you.”
Now that part is true, even if he’s smiling in the moment he’s not going to just move past what you had done so easily.
Before you could even respond, a flicker of movement behind him caught your eye. Whatever it was, you had only a moment to react, and all you could do was shove Gyro out of the way before it hit him.
So it hits you instead.
Another enemy…that you had missed. Gyro quickly dispatches whoever it was, but the damage from the attack was undoubtedly fatal. A poison, deep in your system and targeting your vital organs. Gyro carried you off to safety, but as soon as he had a chance to properly examine you, he’d know it was too late. Despite never telling you, your observations had led you to conclude Gyro had an expansive medical knowledge. You were too far gone, and he’d see it immediately.
He sets you down as gently as he can muster, propping your back up against the wall of a building.
He places his index and middle finger onto the pulse of your neck, and then places his palm against your forehead, a bit forcefully in his urgency.
He mutters a curse in italian under his breath. Not even the miraculous powers of Gyro Zeppeli can stop an inevitable death.
“Trust me now?” you ask, your strength failing you as you try to reach a hand up to touch his jaw.
“Shut up,” he counters, weaker than you’ve ever heard from him. His shoulders are shaking, his hand clutching yours tightly as he frantically searches for an answer. Medical knowledge couldn’t solve something like this on its own, and he couldn’t even identify what kind of poison you were inflicted by. Some doctor he turned out to be…
He’s just denying that the poison is unique to the stand. Even if he had studied every single poison in the world, he would not be able to identify and treat this one. He couldn’t even expel it with the spin if he didn’t know what it was.
“Maybe there’s a…hospital around here…” he suggests, reaching to pick you up again, his breathing intensifying not from the recent enemy encounters, but from the anxiety shaking his core. To not be able to save someone, especially someone he cares about…it was a type of fear even he couldn’t bear, despite the way he was raised.
“You know better than anyone that it’s too late,” you point out quietly. The feeling of your own body shutting down…it was frightening, but somehow you didn’t feel as scared as you thought you should be.
He’s shushing you again, trying to pick you up. Despite his trembling, Gyro’s hands were still steady when he reached for you.
You use the last bit of your strength to take his hands in yours.
“Huh…” you murmur. “So even you can be gentle sometimes.”
“Course I can.” He musters a smile, squeezing your hand slightly. It soothes you. You like to believe he’s pretty good at being a doctor.
“I feel so calm, even though I know I’m going to die.”
“Might be a symptom of the poison…sedative properties that are making you feel more relaxed…”
“Ha…that’s kinda nice for me…”
“Where is your family?” he changes the subject.
“My family?”
“Yeah. I’ll make sure you make it home.”
You don’t have much time left, stammering out where your family is, and muttering your thank yous as your body gives out.
He catches you, laying your body down gently and placing his cape over you. A temporary arrangement until the situation calms and he can come back for your body.
Just wait on him a moment, he’ll come back for you. He promises.

-Hot Pants: Your lover was a guarded woman, but something about your charisma somehow dropped those defenses just enough for even someone like her to open up. At least a bit. Really you’re just using your stand ability: Heart of Glass. It heightens emotions, targeting deep-seated ones. Great for inciting violence, or loosening lips…making you one of President Valentine’s favorite stand users at his disposal. Hot Pants was much too mysterious for his liking, so you were sent to investigate. A worthwhile assignment…even though it took you a good while to learn anything, the discovery that she certainly had a stand was Very Valuable.
You were her companion, a partner to keep the freezing nights a little warmer, and her time in the race less lonely. But despite being the closest person to her, she didn’t open up easily. You really had to work your stand to worm your way into her heart and get past that stoic, distant politeness she used even with you.
It took time, but you got through.
One starry night, as you sat by her side in another comfortable but quiet moment, you finally got it. Like the clicking of a lock when the code has finally been cracked, you had gotten through the barrier of her heart, and you were FINALLY going to get SOMETHING to report back to F.V. He was getting real impatient with your meager reports.
You weren’t used to Hot Pants touching you first, usually it was you initiating any sort of affection. But tonight, she asked your permission to put her head on your shoulder, and you said yes, of course.
Her hair is soft, you intertwine your hand with hers and she actually squeezes your hand, unusual for her.
“I don’t know what it is about tonight…” she sighs. A good sign for you, she doesn’t realize you have a stand. “But…would you let me confess something to you?”
“I’ll always be willing to listen to you,” you smile.
Finally, she opens up. Just about why she has chosen the path of a nun, but it is enough.
Guilt. Guilt. A woman entirely weighed down by soul crushing guilt.
And she expresses how even though she doesn’t show it or say it, your companionship has been a source of comfort for her. She’s distant with you because she has not been absolved of her great sin, it weighs so heavily on her that she cannot allow herself to get too close. It would not be fair, because she can’t give you the attention you deserve while this guilt consumes her.
And now your own guilt is weighing on your mind. You release her heart from the chains of your stand, and she exhales heavily, leaning against you a little more. It must’ve been exhausting, fighting a silent battle with your stand for so long and not even knowing.
“Feeling like a weight has been lifted?” you ask quietly.
She replies with a quick hum. “Somehow…yes. Thank you. For listening.”
Your turn to experience the weight of guilt. This whole time…you’ve been playing her for a fool. You were a liar, and you hadn’t even felt bad about it til right now. If she was a sinner, then you were the devil.
“May I confess something in turn?” you ask.
She’s tired from the impact of your stand, but she nods, responding with a firm: “of course,” and for once you don’t feel like a near invincible retainer to the President, and instead you’re nothing more than a deceptive snake.
“I owe the President a great debt,” you mutter as calmly as you can. But she immediately stiffens and pulls away from you, despite her tiredness her senses sharpen immediately, her hand going to that strange weapon by her side.
Her hand hovered over it, her gaze wary, the trust you had built immediately cracking, one wrong word away from shattering, but she would permit you to speak. “He took me in when I had no one, granted me a new life. I would be free from my debt after…” the words taste bitter on your tongue, but they are accurate: “…this last job.”
Just a job. She was just another job for you to dissect and send back to the President.
She is quiet, back to that stoic visage, but the slight narrowing of her eyebrows gave away how much you have shaken her.
She turns away, staring off at nothing in the distance, but you wouldn’t be able to break through this new guard.
“Then you’d best report back, before your President begins to wonder where you are.”
Her voice is cold, and she cannot disguise how upset she is right now.
You want to confess you’ve even used your stand on her. But it’s better if you just leave. Right now is not the time for words.
…
How long did not matter, this was a fitting punishment for someone like you. The manifestation of your guilt circled around you, unable to reach you from where you had stationed yourself on a pile of discarded items, but waiting for you, eternally.
Hot Pants stood in the entryway of the garbage dump with the appearance of a church.
You had killed Axl RO in your attempt to save Hot Pants, despite knowing to an extent how Civil War functioned.
With the entirety of the specters’ attention on you, Johnny, Gyro, and Hot Pants could leave. Three lives at the cost of yours…that was a sacrifice you were willing to make.
“Go,” is all you said, as firmly as you could, despite the nearly uncontrollable urge to beg her to not leave you like this. This was…terrifying. You wanted to cry and scream and beg her to find some way to save you. But she felt like this every night when she had to relive the cause of her own guilt in her nightmares. If she could act unaffected, then you could too.
From her spot in the doorway, she shuts her eyes, bows her head, and intertwines her fingers. Her lips move. You are too far away to hear what she’s saying, but you know it’s a prayer.
When she opens her eyes, gives you a firm nod, a few stray tears trailing down her face betraying her mask of stoicism. You nod in turn.
She lingers a moment, and you watch her too, having one last silent exchange. One more heart to heart.
She’s forgiven you, but really, she didn’t hate you for your initial betrayal in the first place.
Though she wished you hadn’t been so hasty to pay for your sins. Now she was going to feel even more guilt, leaving you behind like this, but there was no changing your mind on this. And if this eased the weight of your sins, she’d be a hypocrite to try and take that away from you.
It’s hard to be strong when she turns away, so you don’t even try, giving in and burying your mouth in your hands and muffling your own screams for anyone to save you from this hell of your own making. But this is what you chose, and if it gave her another chance at finding what she wanted, you’d do it again.

Diego Brando: He had been Quite furious when you finally told him the President had offered you a very generous sum of money for all the information you had on Diego. Who could blame him for getting mad at you, after all, you could’ve gotten so much more if you had played your cards right! Why betray him if you couldn’t get more out of it? That’s what Really irks him about the mess you’ve made for him.
But it’s okay now. All is about to be forgiven. Your head rests on his lap and your skin loses its color due to the immense amount of blood you were losing from a massive gash from the middle of your chest all the way down to your stomach.
Of course Diego had used your guilt against you, even though you had planned to try and redeem yourself anyways.
You had told him literally everything you had observed during your employment under Funny Valentine, even the details you thought weren’t important; a genius like Dio could use literally anything that you say.
And after having you get on your knees and groveling for his forgiveness for a bit, you have officially exhausted both your usefulness and entertainment value.
Sure, he liked you a lot when you were sweethearts. And SURE he also would’ve betrayed you if there was a worthwhile reward on the line, but the fact of the matter is YOU betrayed HIM. It’s a shame really. He might’ve liked putting a ring on your finger and spoiling you rotten with the money he was going to win from the race. But you had to go and throw it allll away.
Still. He didn’t love the feeling of ripping you apart. Even though he had told himself you were nothing more than a pigeon, apparently all the time he had spent with you actually affected him. He stroked your cheek with a surprising amount of gentleness for what he had just done, watching you die, observing how your lips move…trying to say something to him, even now? Looked like you were trying to say his name, but he couldn’t tell if you were cursing his name or singing his praises in your final moments.
“Hm? I can’t quite understand you,” he sighs, and your eyes tear up and you try again but no sound will come out and for the first time in his life he finds himself looking away as someone dies right in front of him.
It’s so…frustrating. He thought it’d feel satisfying to tie up loose ends by getting rid of you. Instead it’s just a sort of hollow, dull feeling thrumming in his chest. Ugh. That same, disgusting feeling he got in the rare moments he made a mistake.
Mistakes felt terrible, but what he really hated was the regret that came with it.
He could shove it down for now, but he’d regret it later if he just left you like this, so he uses his influence to make sure you’re properly buried somewhere nice. And THEN he shoves it down. You can haunt him later. Right now he had a race to win and a President to defy at every turn.

Chapter Text

Formaggio: Meet your parents? Welllll…okay, he’ll do it without too much complaint if it gets you to stop nagging him. He’s not that interested in such things, hell he probably doesn’t think your relationship is even that serious yet. But if you really want to drag him to your parents’ place for some formality’s sake? Fine, but don’t expect a ring or something just because he met your folks.
Honestly…….he’s not the WORST man you could’ve brought home. On the surface, at least.
You begged him not to mention the whole “assassin of a large Italian mafia” thing. He gave you a thumbs up and a smug smirk that made you think he was going to mention it just because you told him not to.
But he has his own type of charisma, immediately friendly with your parents. He’s much too casual given the circumstances, but he’s been like that for as long as you’ve known him. And he DOES end up mentioning the “assassin of a large Italian mafia” thing when they asked what he did for a living, and he even had the audacity to wink at you after your parents laughed it off, assuming it was just a joke. UGH. He LOVED messing with you. He says he’s actually a vet tech. You have to hold yourself back from laughing out loud, remembering a few occasions where you had to liberate his poor cat from a jar or a cupboard or any other weird tiny place he found he could put it.
Well, at least your parents are convinced you got yourself a decent guy. He performed a little TOO well though. Now they’re constantly asking you about how you and Formaggio are doing, when you guys are gonna visit again, stuff like that. And at first he’s super smug about it; your parents liking him is GREAT for him because he can get stuff out of them, especially when he turns on the charm.
But that backfires on him. It doesn’t take too long before they’re asking him when he’s gonna pop the question, and he knows if he answers truthfully (he doesn’t plan on proposing. Ever.), suddenly his standing with you and your parents isn’t gonna look so good.
You wonder what’s got him in such a bad mood when he shows up at your apartment. He tells you he doesn’t want to talk to your parents as often anymore, and his unusually irritable tone makes you hesitate to ask what the hell happened with your parents.
“And quit telling them stuff about how we’re gonna get hitched, it’s NOT happening, sweetheart.”
Um…
He doesn’t usually talk THAT harshly towards you, and you don’t even know what he’s referring to.
You haven’t said anything to them about that. You let it go though. He just needs to cool off.

Illuso: Your arrogant jerk of a boyfriend loves to hear you suggest he meets your parents. It’s a huge ego boost for him. You want him to put a ring on it that badly, eh? You like him that much?Alright, alright, he can make some time for that~he’s not opposed to the idea, though you shouldn’t actually expect much immediate change in your relationship even if meeting your folks goes well.
Your parents aren’t sure what to think of your man…they want to take his smug narcissistic mannerisms as a joke but he actually seems serious.
And just something about how he pulls you to his side like he owns you rubs them the wrong way. He doesn’t seem to take you that seriously either, often dismissing what you say. He clearly wants to be in charge of your relationship, and it’s making him come off as a bully. And you seem used to it.
You know him. He’s just trying to show off. And yeah he’s never been the Best boyfriend to you, but he acts especially jerky when you’re around other people in an attempt to seem more confident and secure in his relationship.
He would be much better off being honest with himself instead of putting on these acts that just result in him looking like a crappy boyfriend. He lives up to his name, you suppose.
You say he completely embarrassed himself and you in front of your parents.
He pretends to dismiss it.
But it starts Really bothering him. And he’s got too much pride to ask you what you mean so…he’ll just let it keep him up at night.

Prosciutto: Internally he actually would like the approval of your father before he married you. But he acts disinterested and defiant towards the idea. Though if you really insist then PERHAPS he could find some space in his busy schedule to visit your dad with you.
“Try to be nice,” you requested of him as you buttoned up the rest of his shirt for him so he’d be presentable.
“I AM nice,” he grumbles back, and you can’t resist laughing out loud. Ok, sure. But seriously, be nice.
It’s bizarre to see him trying to be his version of polite, because his version of polite is to just be quiet. It’s a bit funny, he really doesn’t have anything nice to say so he’ll just not say anything at all. You have to make an active effort to not laugh at him this evening.
It goes alright since he only responds when specifically spoken to, so at worst your dad just thinks your boyfriend is boring. If you like him, whatever, your dad is fine with it. But don’t come crying to him when your lame ass boyfriend is driving you insane.
Prosciutto seems mildly pleased with himself when the two of you leave, since he got your father’s seal of approval. And you don’t know what to say when he asks you if your dad liked him (while pretending not to care in typical Prosciutto fashion).
You tell him he did just fine. As long as he remains careful about how he speaks to you around his dad, there probably won’t be any issues.

Pesci: Yeah Pesci has the common sense to think meeting your parents is not the greatest idea. What part about assassin in the mafia sounds like something they’d like?? You’re like it’s fine, just lie!
Well. Okay but. How well is that gonna work in the long run…?
You say don’t worry about it, you’ll figure it out together if it ever becomes a problem. And when you take his hands and plead with him he can’t bring himself to deny you, even though he thinks it’s a bad idea.
You know Pesci’s disposition won’t betray your deception; you know the last thing they’d think was that Pesci was actually bad news. Maybe a bit of a pushover, but definitely not dangerous.
Your parents are very convinced that he’s just some fisherman you happened upon and formed a bond with. And he seems sweet enough. A little shy, but nice.
Oh you’re so happy, your parents finally approve of a boyfriend you’ve brought home, and ironically they don’t know he’s probably THE baddest boy you’ve ever brought to them.
You kiss his shoulder on the way out the door, and he wants to know why you’re laughing so much.
You say nothing, just thinking the whole thing is funny.

Melone: It’s Melone’s suggestion that he meets your parents. You’re not so sure, worried he was going to humiliate both of you in front of your parents, and worried he was planning on proposing to you.
Yeah you liked him a lot but…honestly you felt like this relationship just wasn’t working out. He was too…eccentric. Too unpredictable. You wanted something at least somewhat stable and Melone was absolutely not going to give that to you with his disposition and line of work. And yet, you’re clinging on to him anyways, since he’s the boyfriend you’ve had for the longest, and you’re admittedly curious to see what would happen if you brought him to meet your parents.
He won’t provide for you. You know your parents are going to think the same thing….among…other things…about your eccentric boyfriend.
And sure enough…
Your parents are dragging you into the kitchen wondering where you found such a sick pervert. You didn’t really think a guy like that was gonna make you happy, did you? And he didn’t even make good money? Sheesh. Please do better. Find literally anyone else. Please. You don’t want to deal with it, but they have a point that you should stop leading him on and just break up with him.
Melone thought it went great because he tends to hear what he wants to hear. And now he’s wrapping his arm a little too low down your body, confidently telling you you’ll love the ring he picked out for you~
Good freaking grief, what a mess-

Ghiaccio: He knows he Should just go along with it and finally meet your parents, but he Really doesn’t want to. Doing that means you might expect him to marry you, or spend time with your family; two things he does Not want to do, at least right now.
But ok. He’ll remind you that you’re one of the few people who know him well, so if you think it’ll be alright…then fine. He’ll trust you.
Honestly, no matter how well you thought you knew him, you could never tell what exactly was going to set him off. But you were sure your parents could easily say something that could drive him insane…and you knew it’d look really, Really bad if you told your parents to mind what they said around your boyfriend because he had severe anger issues…
Yeah, he does come off as a bad boyfriend, with the way he holds your hand or wrist way too tight and guides you around, or always seems on the verge of screaming at you, and tapping his foot in irritation when he’s otherwise holding still.
He refrains from actually losing it, but you know he found the whole thing annoying from the way he sped home, practically breaking the steering wheel from his tight grip.
He does NOT wanna talk about it, he doesn’t wanna hear what your parents thought because he Knows it wasn’t good and you better not think this’ll change anything in your relationship drastically. You don’t want to open up that conversation with him, so you stay quiet. Stressing him out further is literally the last thing you want to do.

Risotto Nero: He can’t believe you’re actually serious about him meeting your mother. He’s not exactly a gentle man, both in appearances and personality. But if you really want him to, then it’s not a big deal to him, but he wants to make sure you know it’s not gonna go so well.
He’s calm and capable of holding a conversation, but still. LOOK at him. He’s not the traditional definition of boyfriend-
Your mother is initially very frightened by his appearance, understandably so, but he just tries to have a conversation like a normal person and Yeah he’s pretty stoic but…he seems ok. He certainly took the time to get to know you. He understands you well. He’s surprisingly aware of your mood, able to tell when something’s bothering you or making you uncomfortable even when you’re not being obvious about it. He’s not particularly affectionate or sweet, very blunt when he asks you: “what is it?” when you seem unhappy, but his intentions aren’t to sound mean or impatient. It’s just how he talks.
Once your mom realizes that, she thinks he’s a sweet enough man.
Risotto honestly hasn’t ever had to think about visiting a partner’s parent, so he just doesn’t mention it after that. Though he’s not entirely opposed to seeing her again, he would like to remind you that he Is the leader of an assassination squadron, and your sweet mother would probably not be happy to find out about that.
Just keep it in mind, please: he’s no longer suited for such social activities, no matter how much he pretends for your sake.

Cioccolata: SHEESH. You canNOT be serious. He looks at you like ?????? Really???? He’s not exactly. Welcome in society anymore. And there’s no way you’re not aware of that, right???? Well you don’t Really care but for tradition’s sake you wanted to do this. Didn’t matter what your family thought, but you felt the need to get it over with. And well…he’s surprisingly not opposed to marrying you if that’s what you really want. You already live together, beyond Secco you’re literally the only person who can stomach being near him for more than five minutes, and he’s wealthy enough to easily afford a ring for you. If you don’t make it a big deal then what the hell, sure; he’ll marry you.
You knew bringing him to meet your family was gonna go super well because that morning started with an argument after you told him to not bring Secco along.
And when you do eventually get Cioccolata to your parents’ home…yeah. When you said he was a“surgeon” they were expecting something. Different. Very convenient you left out the “former” part of that description.
He makes them incredibly uncomfortable, and it’s not long before he’s being asked to leave and never interact with you again.
You’ve gotten used to Cioccolata’s insanely sadistic personality, but even you felt a shiver of disgust when he passed you a chilling smile that was asking for your permission for him to hurt your family. You knew he’d do it anyways if you don’t intervene, so after an extraordinarily uncomfortable half hour you’re dragging your terrifying boyfriend out the door, already accepting you’d probably not be talking to your family again anytime soon.
Yeah they’re definitely gonna think you’re dead. And that was the Tame version of Cioccolata they saw-you haven’t been able to mellow his personality out at all, but you pride yourself on your ability to get him to behave himself…to a degree.
But now that that’s over with, you really wanted that ring. You really must’ve become desensitized to him at this point, with the way you clung to his arm as the two of you left, whining and nagging him to finally marry you because you’ve been dating for so long and he still hasn’t proposed-
Same guy who killed people literally just for his own pleasure-
He brushes you off like you were just begging him for money again, assuring you he’d get you a ring when he found the time for it. Keep nagging him and you might actually get your wish this time.

Diavolo: Such a sweet, naive thing…he’s really hit the jackpot with you. You really wanted him to meet your family? Have you not been paying attention? He doesn’t want to be known by anyone…but you thought that maybe your family would be an exception…And with how passive and even eager he seemed to meet your family, you honestly thought you were right.
You’re not surprised when Doppio ends up being the one meeting your family instead. But it works out well. Doppio is a hit with your family, he seems sweet and reasonable, and his clumsiness was endearing in a way.
You’re glad it all went well, not thinking anything of the evening.
But you had given Diavolo your parents’ address, and through that, access to their names, and the names of anyone else in your family if he did just a bit of research…
Your anonymity is just as important to him as his own if you’re to be in a relationship. You can’t have a family, you’ll only need him on the path you two are taking.
Act out all you want if you’re upset when your entire family disappears in a matter of days, if you decide you want to back out on him now he’ll just send you to join them. Even if you were an enjoyable companion, if you put his identity at risk he’s not gonna let you walk away.

Chapter Text

Joseph Joestar: Guy who sleeps in just a tank top and boxers. Comfort is key to Joseph, and he’s a big man too, so he takes up lots of space in bed, often sprawling himself out almost like a starfish. You’re the one who’s gonna have to adjust when you share a bed with him…he’s large so he doesn’t move easily and even though he’s not a super heavy sleeper, he PRETENDS to be so you won’t try and wake him up to ask him to scoot. He’s a bit of a snorer too, only sometimes though, which wouldn’t be so bad if you could get him to roll onto his side but. He won’t do that so easily for you. He’ll just wrap his big strong arms around you, his face pressed up against yours and at first you’ll feel pretty irritated he’s opted to just cling to you but…it is a very safe and comfortable feeling. You can’t stay grumpy for long.
He wakes up pretty early, and he usually doesn’t like to sit still so. He’ll get up and do his own thing and come see you when you wake up. He somehow always seems to know when you will. He usually doesn’t think to bring you anything though, beyond the occasional coffee if he’s expecting you to have a slow morning. Then he’ll lay his head in your lap while you lie in bed and tell you about everything he’s already taken care of today and what he plans to do next. So much energy…slow down a bit, Joseph…

Rohan Kishibe: He’s a bit of an enigma when it comes to his nighttime rituals…due to the nature of his stand his actual work doesn’t take him that long, but he spends long evenings doing research for his manga, or simply being a bit of an insomniac. He struggles with relaxing in the evenings, a very restless man…he needs a lot of unwinding time if he actually wants to get any sleep at night, and he doesn’t usually ask for it specifically, but your company brings him comfort and makes it easier to relax.
You’ll just stay up with him drinking something warm and talking while he organizes all his thoughts in his sketch pads and notebooks or out loud to you. He’s got a brilliant mind, and even when you’re tired and staying up late to help him unwind you always gain something from the experience.
He’s particular about physical affection, but he’s slightly more open to it at night, admittedly enjoying the occasional massage on his stiff shoulders from you before bed.
He’s not snuggly when (if) he finally goes into the bedroom, happy to stick to his own side of the bed. To him, the bed is for getting rest and not much else. A necessity for maintaining the prison that is the flesh.
Sometimes he has a long, drawn out evening routine doing stretches before bed and washing his face and reading before bed and all that stuff. Other times he simply collapses into the sheets, falling asleep almost immediately. Thankfully he’s got a slight build, so you can move him over easily, but if he wakes up from you trying to move him he’ll be grumpy. He tries to wake up early, and is usually successful, but on the few mornings where he can’t get himself going you’ll take it upon yourself to help him wake up by making him his coffee (he’ll complain about how you make it wrong but still drink it anyways.) Sleepy morning Rohan is so cute even though he’s so grouchy and grumbling about you being in his face while he’s waking up.

Guido Mista: He likes to stay up late doing whatever it is he does at night, but is very easily coaxed to bed by you if you want him to join you. He’s an easy sleeper, falls asleep fast, and can fall asleep almost anywhere. Sometimes all he needs is to pull his hat over his eyes and he’s Out like a light. But if he’s gonna fall asleep wherever, he prefers to fall asleep on you, whether he’s leaning on your shoulder or using your lap as a pillow. And of course you can do the same to him, but he’ll get a little flustered if you fall asleep on him, worrying about waking you up on accident.
He’s not too worried about nighttime routines. He’ll just go to bed when he’s tired in whatever he’s wearing. You usually have to tell him to at least take off his belt before bed so he’s somewhat comfortable.
He loves snuggling in bed with you, often crawling on top of you and falling asleep with his face nestled into your collarbone. It’s super cute but sometimes he feels SO heavy and combined with his snoring you’ll have the occasional difficult night for the sake of his comfortable rest. But it’s alright. Stroking his back while he uses you as his own personal mattress and snores his heart out is so sweet. (Also ok. Imagine the bullets lined up next to you all snuggled under the blanket that’s giant compared to them. You’re like there’s no way you sleep like that and Mista’s genuinely like what’s wrong with it????)

Bruno Bucciarati: He’s not sure when the last time he’s had an actual decent night’s sleep was. He is stressed and overworked all the time, which leads to many sleepless nights. Often times he’ll come to bed and try to sleep for a moment, but once he thinks you’re asleep you’re usually greeted to the sight of his bare back as he sits at the edge of the bed debating if he should just get up and start his day since sleep won’t be coming to him anytime soon. If you reach out and touch him though, he’ll allow himself to lie by your side a little longer, to put you at ease. He knows you worry about him. Occasionally he’ll get a few hours of sleep, but often you hear: “I just need to take care of a few things, dear…” and he kisses your forehead and climbs out of bed and tries to be as quiet as possible as he gets dressed for the day.
When he does manage to fall asleep, he’s neither a light or heavy sleeper, but his exhaustion is visible in how he sleeps. How his brow manages to be furrowed even in his sleep astounds you, but he still retains a sort of elegance with his head against a pillow and his hair slightly unkempt as his soft breathing makes his chest rise and fall. He’s not particularly physically clingy in his sleep, but he’s not opposed to holding your hand or wrapping an arm around your waist, and it won’t bother him if you curl up into his chest while you sleep. He might even sleep a bit better.

Leone Abbacchio: He’s got an inconsistent sleep schedule, tending to go to bed whenever he wants, whether that be really early or really late. He either takes forever to fall asleep, or is out like a light as soon as his body comes into contact with a semi-comfortable surface. He’s not used to consistently sharing a bed with someone, don’t take it personally when he’s not the most considerate bedmate, especially at first. He doesn’t like being touched or snuggled in his sleep. He’ll complain and push you away, usually saying something about how it’s too hot for you to be clinging to him like that. He just finds it way too intimate for someone like him to snuggle with someone like you in bed. Intimacy, vulnerability…he’s not used to it and he’ll resist it for a long time, even with you.
He tends to wake up either in the middle of the night, or late into the morning. He doesn’t like to talk about it, he’d probably never if given the choice…but he has nightmares on occasion. Intense ones, where he’ll nearly scream himself awake. He’ll apologize for waking you, but usually won’t tell you what’s wrong, crawling out of bed in just his sweatpants to drink away whatever the hell woke him up so violently. Follow him if you’d like. He won’t want to talk, but he’s visibly shaken, drumming his fingers against his glass and staring down into the liquid. You press your forehead against his bare back and attempt to hug him from behind. He’s stiff, unresponsive, quietly telling you that you should go back to bed and he’ll join you…in a moment.

Johnny Joestar: He’s comfortable to sleep next to, something about him feels so…safe. He’s a pretty sleeper, breathing softly in his sleep, nuzzling against you if you’re close, clearly so exhausted and so in need of a decent night’s rest. He frequently wakes up in the middle of the night, often for no apparent reason. Sometimes he can fall back asleep. Other times he’ll just lie awake, frustrated that he woke up at such an unreasonable time, but used to it at this point.
He doesn’t mind cuddling at night but he’s secure keeping to himself. It’s probably most comfortable for him to just hold your hand when he falls asleep, so he can have his own space and the comfort of your companionship at the same time.
You have the best late night conversations with him when you both have the misfortune of waking up in the middle of the night for whatever reason. Even when he’s just complaining about his messed up sleep schedule, you love listening to him talk.
Sometimes he’ll have random bouts of clinginess though, where he wants to wrap his arms around you or lay his head in your lap or bury his face into the crook of your neck while he falls asleep.

Gyro Zeppeli: Your big, rugged, handsome Italian cowboy of a husband can sleep just about anywhere, but of course he has a preference for sleeping with his sweetheart in his arms. He enjoys pulling you on top of himself when you’re snuggling in bed, and despite your protests he insists he literally sleeps better with your weight on him. You can roll off of him after he falls asleep. He’s a heavy sleeper, and he snores real loudly. You have better luck just hoping he’ll roll onto his side than trying to move him yourself or waking him up. It can be irritating, but you’re glad he’s able to sleep so comfortably. You thought he’d be inconsistent with a nighttime routine but if he has the means to take care of it he’ll actually get fussy until he does it. It’s kinda hot watching him brush his hair while also taking off his accessories because he’s too impatient to get to bed to do one thing at a time.
Despite how huge and uncoordinated he might seem by appearance, he’s got a lot of grace and elegance. Despite doing so many things at the same time, he doesn’t mess himself up even once.
He also sleeps really good with his head on your lap or against your chest. Be prepared, if he falls asleep on top of you you’re gonna have a hard time escaping. Better get comfortable.

Diego Brando: He’s so difficult to sleep next to…HOW does he snore that loudly?! And he writhes around in his sleep a lot, sometimes his body is freezing, and you really notice because he clings to you often. It’s not even intentional, he just wraps himself around you in his sleep and won’t release you unless you wake him up. He’s a blanket hog too, unsurprisingly. He Can fall asleep anywhere if he has to, but he prefers to sleep in a comfortable bed, with a bunch of pillows, since he loves to feel like a king. He typically wakes up super early, and exercises or reads in his private study (which is more of a trophy room than anything). Though he thinks sleeping in is more of an “apex of society” thing, he can’t stand lazing around in bed in the mornings, with the exception of when he’s not feeling well or you somehow wake up before him and decide to spoil him with breakfast in bed. It makes him feel important, so he encourages you to treat him. As annoying as it is to deal with him acting like a bratty princess, it also makes him happy and puts him in a good mood; and he doesn’t like sitting in bed all morning anyways so you don’t have to deal with it too often.

Chapter Text

Such a pleasant night in Venice. Warm, comfortable…if you didn’t feel the now constant threat of the Boss’s ire, you’d actually allow the wine you were casually sipping to relax you a bit in this moment.
You sat at a small table outside a local restaurant, Abbacchio across from you, and despite his intent to act casual his eyes betrayed him every time someone passed by the two of you. Thankfully he appeared like nothing more than an overly protective boyfriend when he instinctively leaned a little closer to you when someone wandered too close.
Really he was being cautious for the enemy stand users that were certainly on your trail now that you’ve openly defied Passione’s Boss.
“Leone, relax…if anything happens the others are nearby,” you attempt to soothe him, referring to the rest of the crew attempting to eat inside. Difficult to do, given everything. The absence of Fugo, the very real danger of assassination attempts…the others had enough stress for both you and Abbacchio tonight.
You knew immediately it wasn’t the best choice of words to ease his mind, but seeing Leone so distressed heightened your anxiety even more, so you had to say Something.
He huffs, takes a pointed swig of his wine, and you envy his glass, stained with his purple lipstick. But now was not the time to think of such things.
“That’s not very reassuring,” he points out, with no real irritation, since he was speaking to you. He spares the briefest glance to the members of the gang inside the restaurant. He would deny it if you verbally suspected it, but he was checking to make sure they were still okay.
“You should have a little faith,” you force a smile.
He frowns.
“How’re you remaining so positive right now?”
The false smile vanishes from your face immediately, a small tremble traveling through your body when he immediately forces you to confront what you were Really thinking right now. Leone was direct that way, even with you.
“Because I have to be,” your food had remained relatively untouched, and you prodded at it pointlessly with your fork so you could turn your eyes to something other than him. “I’ve never been so scared than I have in this moment, Leone. So I’m going to act calm until we’re both actually calm.”
He watches you quietly for a moment, with that steady yet unreadable gaze, before sitting back in his seat.
“Alright then…I’m calm.”
You know it’s bs. You know just by looking at him he’s more overwhelmed than he’s been in a Long time. But he’s trying to ease your mind anyways. Somehow it succeeds in soothing your heart, to an extent.
“Just trying to make me feel better?”
“It worked though,” he points out.
You reply by taking a swig of your own wine.
“Say something else to make me feel better.”
His lips tug up for a moment in a rare smirk.
“Like what?”
You set your wine down, resting your chin on your hands.
“What are we gonna do once this whole mess is over? You know…when we somehow defeat the Boss and overhaul Passione-”
“You’re going a little fast,” he interrupts with a heavy sigh. “IF we somehow defeat the Boss. And we both live to tell the tale.” He corrects. “And “we” are probably not gonna do whatever you have in your head. I thought it was pretty clear I’m not the settling down type-”
This time you cut him off with a genuine bark of laughter.
“Oh I’M moving fast? I’m not the one who brought up “settling down”, Leone.”
He momentarily covers his own lips in embarrassment for misreading you, clearing his throat and muttering an Italian expletive at himself for sticking his foot in his mouth. “Sheesh, stop laughing at me.”
“I’m not laughing at you! I promise! I’m just…surprised.”
He returns to watching the passersby, but only so he doesn’t have to look at you for the time being, his cheeks dusted a slight pink.
“But for what it’s worth, I’m not opposed to the idea,” you grin.
From your tone of voice he knows you’re about to start teasing him, given he handed you such a blatant freebie like that-
“Oh yeah that’s a great idea,” he grumbles sarcastically, but not bitterly. “You and I, in a little house in the countryside. And we spend a five day week at normal 9/5 jobs and then do nothing but write crappy poetry for each other on the weekends.”
“And how many children do we have?” you ask jokingly.
He pretends to think about it, and answers like he was serious, for your entertainment:
“Four, so Mista will leave us alone. Half will have your name and half will have mine.”
“Brilliant, I can see it now,” you can’t help but burst out onto laughter, unable to keep up a serious tone like he could. “But seriously, Leone…”
The muscles in his face tense a bit, his eyebrows furrowing when he becomes actually serious.
“I don’t know. I really don’t. Hell, I don’t even know what I’d WANT to see happen but…you know how I feel about you.”
A simple statement, and it makes your heart flutter. ‘You know how I feel about you.’ Yeah, you really did. From the way he would always check you for injuries after a mission, and how he’d enforce a mandatory level of respect for you from the other members of the team. Leone Abbacchio loved you. As much as a man like him could love someone.
“I see,” is all you can think to say at first, reaching over a hand towards his, gently touching his knuckles. He hesitates at first, finding even hand holding in public awkward and overly intimate, despite being away from prying eyes like the two of you are right now.
But after a moment, he lifts his long fingers, sliding them in between yours, and settles them along the top of your hand.
“And you know how I feel about you,” you reply, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
The slightest bit of conflict mars his face, because he really does know, and it’s always clawed at his conscience. He thinks someone like you deserves better than the little support, emotional and physical, he can provide for you. Someone who knew how to let you in and how to actually support you and comfort you; someone who wasn’t so damn irritable and on edge all the time. You should be with someone with at least a shred of real emotional intelligence, and not stuck with the deep apathy he always used to protect himself, even from you.
“Yeah…for some reason you’re awfully fond of me.”
You laugh and shrug, wondering what it’d take to get him to see himself the way you do. Nothing short of a small miracle, probably.
“Well…no matter what happens, I hope we’ll be together,” you say confidently. He doesn’t address the statement at first, distracting himself with his wine, a bit embarrassed by how you could say such sappy stuff with complete sincerity.
He doesn’t say a ‘I want that, too’, but his sassy little: “yeah, you’ve said that before,” accompanied by his small but genuine smile and a slight squeeze to your hand was enough for you to know exactly what he meant.
Whatever happened…the two of you were going to be together. That’s all you really wanted at this point. You could worry about figuring out your Dreams and Future with Leone and all of that stuff after this whole chaotic mess was over and behind you.
But for now you’d enjoy this small moment of fragile calm, returning your attention to the passersby, and scanning the roofs of the nearby buildings for enemy stand users. All while enjoying an evening date with your boyfriend, unofficial only in name for now.
Not that the others would be surprised when Abbacchio was finally ready to reveal the true nature of your relationship to them, much to his future embarrassment.
The thought brought you a smile, and he teasingly told you not to let your mind wander too far, because a man like him wasn’t made to be in your daydreams.

Chapter Text

Content: some of these characters are CLUELESS; Diego is a bit of a jerk

Various SBR characters x anxious!reader headcanons

Characters: Johnny Joestar, Gyro Zeppeli, Hot Pants, Diego Brando, Blackmore

Johnny Joestar: Because of his past as a famous jockey, Johnny was familiar with eyes on him and lots of attention, so he doesn’t really notice it, even after being out of the spotlight for a bit. Though he’s able to be sympathetic, he won’t always understand, since he is practiced at keeping his composure under high stress. Honestly, he’s a bit unnaturally good at containing his anxiety.
He Could offer you advice but…it’s kinda exclusive to him. So instead he’ll just stay with you, taking you away from whatever’s making you anxious but not leaving you by yourself. He won’t say anything unless you ask, since he’s not the greatest at this sort of thing. But if it makes you feel better he can try to tell a story or a joke; he’ll say he’s not as good at that sort of thing as someone like Gyro would be, but Johnny is great at being calm and levelheaded; and he’s reassuring to have close by. If you wanna be left alone he’s fine with giving you some space, it’s not a big deal to him, and he can at least understand if your anxiety makes you a bit irritable towards him. He won’t take it personally, and will give you some time until you’re ready to talk about it or move on.

Gyro Zeppeli: He doesn’t really get it, it takes a LOT before he feels anything resembling stress when it came to eyes on him, and he’s literally performed surgeries before…so he’s got experience keeping a level head in super high stress scenarios.
And it’s frustrating for him to hear you’re feeling distressed when he doesn’t understand it. If it was a physical wound or a dangerous situation then he could treat or protect you, but a sudden bout of heavy anxiety is something he’s genuinely inexperienced with. He doesn’t mean to make it worse when you quietly express you’re feeling stressed, but replying with: “Huh?? What? Right now?” in front of people and with a baffled look on his face doesn’t really make you feel better. He doesn’t entirely get it, but he HATES seeing you distressed, so if it’s something physical that’s causing you anxiety you better Believe he’s removing it. Harshly, if he has to.
He’ll try his usual strange jokes until you’re smiling again, and sometimes placing his hat on your head as his way of saying he’s got your back. Just tell him what you need and he’ll get it done, but preferably something he understands…like taking you outside for some fresh air or distracting you with light conversation. He likes to be close, so if you don’t want him in your personal space just tell him.

Hot Pants: She’s observant, able to tell before you mention it that you’re feeling stressed or uncomfortable. Often it’s her who reacts first, her firm hand on your shoulder asking you if you wanted to leave, or at least step away from the situation for a bit. She’s incredibly good under pressure…most of the time, so she’s a reassuring presence, even when she’s not the best at comforting you with words. Her actions are enough, never in your space when you’re overwhelmed and not rushing you to recover from a sudden bout of anxiety. She keeps an eye on you, but keeps her distance unless you want her near. If it helps, she’s willing to hold your hand or stand close, but you’ll have to express it to her, otherwise she’ll assume you want space. If you want comforting words, she is not really one for that sort of thing. So she’ll be honest with you. She will wait for you when you are ready, and stay by your side if you need her. But she prefers using actions rather than words to comfort you.

Diego Brando: He genuinely doesn’t get it, and he won’t pretend to, even for your sake. He loves attention, loves everyone’s eyes on him, loves when it feels like the world is revolving around him…so when you express a specific dislike for that sort of thing…
He coldly told you that you’d have to get used to it, because he wouldn’t be changing how he lives and behaves for your sake.
So you’re better off not bothering with him when you’re feeling stressed, unless he’s feeling particularly empathetic that day (very very VERY rare occasion, and his version of empathy isn’t really the textbook definition). Just excuse yourself quietly and he’ll hopefully dismiss it and not care. But sometimes he’ll chase after you. He finds it irritating when you need space from him because he can’t understand it, and he especially doesn’t understand when his presence seems to make you feel even more stressed; but he really is way too much sometimes. He’s physically clingy, talks loud, and for whatever reason assumes you also enjoy a ton of attention on you. Just try to ignore him if he’s stressing you out more, and he’ll eventually leave you alone and usually won’t bring it up later.
But in the rare moments he does decide to try and make a situation more comfortable for you, it’s because he also needs a break. He’s not particularly relaxing when the two of you are enjoying a moment of quiet, but he’s got his own weird charm that can distract you from your anxiety sometimes.

Blackmore: He’s a capable and efficient assassin, calm by nature but not so good at talking. Often apologizing for nothing, just to stay out of trouble, so in a way he can be quite sympathetic to social anxiety.
His job keeps him occupied and away from you a lot, but when you do get to spend time together his generally impassive and quiet disposition is honestly pretty soothing most of the time.
He’s more of a listener than a talker. So much so that you’re probably better off just sticking to talking to him than asking for his advice, he is Not great at that sort of thing.
Walks in the rain are great for both of you when you’re feeling anxious, under his umbrella and listening to the water hitting the ground, making small talk but otherwise enjoying the comfortable silence of each other’s company…it’s soothing. He’s got a naturally calming presence when he’s not around people he has to appease all the time, and when it’s just the two of you he can lower his guard a bit.
In a way you’re a source of comfort to each other. You can both relax in each other’s presence, so you take advantage of the rare occasions when you can be together.

Chapter Text

Bruno’s takes place before Giorno joins the squad

Content: for Diavolo and Diego: possessive and controlling behaviors, light depiction of injury

Various jjba characters x reader with a healing stand:
“Doctor! Doctor!”

Characters: Rohan Kishibe, Bruno Bucciarati, Diavolo, Diego Brando

Rohan Kishibe: You cannot BELIEVE he sometimes argues with you over healing him. Rohan has had a difficult personality for as long as you’ve known him, but really…you must insist you accompany him on his travels despite his protests. You’ve seen on more than enough occasions he’s liable to put himself in dangerous situations and get hurt. So you’re going with him.
He’ll always fight you on it, claiming it’s much easier to travel alone; but he has SOME nerve saying you in particular are difficult to travel with, because he always has some sort of grievance about almost everything when you go anywhere together.
You tell him if he didn’t put himself in harm’s way all the time you wouldn’t have to follow him around.
And even if he claims he won’t this time, you both know that’s not really a claim he can make. His inquisitive nature will Always get the best of him, so you will be there for when that curiosity inevitably gets him terribly injured in some way.
Thank goodness your man is difficult to kill…but he really needs to stop pushing his luck, it’s bad for both of you.
And despite him pretending your presence doesn’t change anything on his trips, he will try to be a little bit more careful when you’re involved. He thinks it’s because your constant worrying is irritating, but honestly he can’t bring himself to willingly lead you into something too dangerous. Most of the time.

Bruno Bucciarati: He will always consider himself responsible for the safety of his team, and the nature of your stand ability means you ease his mind when you’re near. You’ve seen his gang. They’re reckless, quick to get into fights, even with each other-there’s no need to worry about him but PLEASE do whatever you’re willing to do to make sure the others aren’t bleeding out from stab or gunshot wounds, or limping around with broken bones.
At Bruno’s request, you would always prioritize healing the injuries of the people he’s in charge of, but when the opportunity arises you will offer him some healing too.
He might not get nearly as bloodied and beaten as Mista does all the time…but you’ve noticed your dear Bucciarati seems to get chronic headaches, that especially intensify when he’s stressed about his work or managing the team. You never make a big deal out of it, don’t even mention it really, when you use your stand to ease his pain.
But he’ll always make a point to thank you. And gently remind you that he’s fine and you should focus your energy elsewhere.
You can only try to respect that for so long though. I mean, the reason your stand heals is because it’s in your nature to severely hate seeing your loved ones suffer.
And it’s not like he can be mad at you for caring about him. It’s just an unfamiliar feeling for him…he’s used to focusing all his attention on others and shouldering their burdens and taking care of them…so having you around trying to ease his pains…very unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.
It will take a while, but eventually he’ll grow comfortable enough to even ask for your healing touch when his pain is a little too much to bear on his own. But more often than not you’ll have to nag him to not push himself too hard and let you help him.

Diavolo: He considers it very fortunate you stumbled into his path. You consider it very Unfortunate. The Boss of Passione is an extraordinarily demanding partner, expecting absolute obedience and loyalty from you in return for his “love” and protection.
You’re not sure when you even wanted to be in a relationship with him, but you’re in too deep now. Defying an obsessive and paranoid man like him at this point would only get you in even more trouble.
He’s smothering, constantly breathing down your neck and making sure you’re not planning anything, and when he does let you leave wherever he’s decided to hole himself up, Doppio is always accompanying you. You’re expected to heal him if anything should happen, but you know Diavolo only says that in a weak attempt to veil that Doppio is actually the one watching you.
Daring to reveal your stand in front of anyone that is not him or Doppio will get you in hot water with the entire Italian mafia.
But it’s not like Diavolo needs your healing…he’s never around anyone who can hurt him anyways! You really are some just in case tool he keeps in his pocket; so your life is incredibly boring, even if it’s safe. And moving around all the time for his anonymity’s sake is annoying and uncomfortable. What’s the point of your stand if you can’t use it to help people?! He Really hates that compassionate nature of yours. Makes sense, given how thoroughly selfish he is…The two of you do not click at all, but he doesn’t care. You don’t need to like him, but he’s not letting you leave as long as you’re an incredibly useful tool.

Diego Brando: He does so adore how useful his partner’s stand is…To cure any sort of fatigue and injury…such a boon to him! He wants you all to himself and he will NOT be sharing you. So don’t even THINK about flashing your stand to anyone other than him, he won’t forgive you if you do that! He’s definitely using you a bit to his advantage. But he takes care of you in turn, making sure you live a comfortable life and giving you whatever you ask for. All you have to do is follow his easy rule and he’ll be a sweet and doting husband for you. Simple, right?
It tugs at your conscience sometimes though. To sit quietly on the side while someone suffers, simply because your husband demanded it. But a part of you can’t bear even the thought of upsetting Diego, after he’s been so good to you…and all he asked for was one simple thing.
And he was just looking out for you by telling you to keep your gift a secret…He cupped your cheeks in his hands so gently as he reminded you how bad it would be if an evil person found out about your powers. You could be in a lot of danger, and he might not be able to save you. So please, don’t needlessly endanger yourself like that. He couldn’t bear it if anything bad happened to you.
Deep down you know he’s just saying that to keep you under his control, but you love him…and you honestly believe at least a part of him also loves you.
So you’ll bend to his will usually. But what Diego doesn’t know can’t hurt him. If you mend a broken bone or ease a sore throat on occasion he might not find out. And even if he does find out, how mad can he really get at that? (Pretty damn mad, but you have too much value in his eyes for him to deal Too harshly with you, despite what he might say in the heat of the moment).

Chapter Text

Jofoes x sick reader

Content: some relationship power imbalance and mean behavior, dating/married/undefined but romantic depending on character

Characters: DIO, Kars, Yoshikage Kira, Diavolo, Enrico Pucci, Funny Valentine

DIO: He can’t catch anything from you because he’s not human anymore but…you’re boring when you’re sick and miserable and only want to lay around in bed all day recovering. It was funny at first, watching you whine and sniffle and ask for his attention, but after a day he’s ready for you to be back to normal.
He’s definitely not a caretaker and will not be playing your bedside nurse. At most he will make Vanilla Ice tend to your needs, and only if you’re Really sick, but otherwise he’s not gonna dote on you.
You better hurry up and heal. He’s growing bored of you when you can’t do anything but sleep and complain about not feeling well.
Don’t expect him to spend much time with you like this, and even though he can’t get sick from you he won’t be spending his day with you because he finds your sniffling and coughing annoying and distracting. He tells you that you’re not allowed to get sick again for the entire extent of your relationship with him. You’re really not sure how you’re supposed to make that happen…
But you’ll try-

Kars: He also can’t get ill from any of your human illnesses…but he will take you getting sick as a perfect opportunity to once again observe the frailty of humans, and tease you a bit for your weakness.
You’re not sure if he’s trying to get in your head or just playing with you when he pulls your sick, sorry self into his lap and begins telling you about how he’s never been sick and wants to know if he should be concerned for your life while you battle the common cold. You can try to match his sass, but you interrupt yourself with a pathetic cough.
Ugh. He thinks it’s So funny. Your body is trying to heal itself, and yet you look and feel miserable…how ridiculous.
He’s not going to be a doting and caring partner, but he will spend some time watching over you and observing your condition. Not so much a silent guardian watching over you, and more so a haughty bully teasing you with his arrogant gaze. When you’re feeling especially clingy due to your sickness, he’ll lay your head in his lap and talk to you.
You should feel honored he’s spending time with you, especially now that you’re even weaker than usual. Fortunately, he finds you entertaining, so he’s going to make sure you’re safe for a while yet.

Yoshikage Kira: He’s a bit annoyed when you get sick, because if it’s bad enough he has to take a few days off work and take care of you. And he’ll be even more upset if you get him sick too, so he takes care not to catch whatever you’ve got.
He greatly dislikes the interruption to his routine, but since he has no choice, he will adjust to sleeping on the couch for a few nights so you can keep all your sickness to yourself in the bedroom.
He’ll tend to you, making you soup and keeping track of your medicines for you, but sometimes he doesn’t hide how irritated he is, especially if you stay sick for a while. As soon as you’re able to get out of bed and get stuff for yourself he’s back to work, leaving you to fend for yourself.
But he’s still paying attention, making sure you’re taking proper care of yourself and getting better. His mood will improve as your health does, and once you’re back to normal, he’ll be back to normal too.
He understands that getting sick is just a normal part of life, but please, try not to get sick often. It’s frustrating to have to tend to a needy spouse for a few days when he could be focusing on other things.

Diavolo: He’s a bit annoyed at you, like you chose to get sick just to hinder him for a week. He can’t move you around as easily when you’re too ill to leave bed for long, so he’ll begrudgingly tend to you.
But he’s not a gentle man, prone to impatience and frustration…so he’ll try for maybe half a day before deciding to just let Doppio handle you until you’re less miserable and easier for his fragile nerves to deal with.
Doppio’s…fine. He’ll just get you whatever you request, and chat with you a bit if you really want. Your health is a priority.
The Boss would like you back to normal as soon as possible. Staying in one place too long makes him agitated, so hurry up or he’s gonna give you a hard time.
His example of that is pacing around your bed and nagging you to take your medicine and get over your sickness. And he doesn’t talk very gently to you ever, but it’s especially stressful when you’re sick and he Still cannot take it easy on you.
He’s so damn selfish, sheesh-

Enrico Pucci: He doesn’t feel like catching whatever you have, but does feel that sense of duty to ensure your recovery is comfortable. He’ll try to be outwardly patient with you, but you can tell from his mannerisms that he thinks he has something better he could be doing than tending to a needy, sick spouse.
He’ll make sure you have what you need to be okay stuck in bed for a whole day. Water, healthy snacks, medicines and painkillers…and if you really need anything else that you can’t get yourself for whatever reason…then just call him. He’ll be a little irritated if he has to abandon whatever he’s doing at Green Dolphin Street Prison just to tend to you…
But he knows you can’t help it. And it’s not like it’ll last forever. So he’ll put up with it for now, but please recover soon. He’s not used to you needing this much attention.

Funny Valentine: It’s super easy for him to deal with you when you’re sick, because he can just bring some alternate universe versions of himself to tend to you while he carries on as usual.
He’s not worried about you, and he’ll only check on you when he begins to notice your absence. Such as when he’s been working on paperwork for a while and you haven’t checked on him, since you’re recovering in bed.
He gets bored taking a break from you while you’re sick. He liked you because you were interesting…an escape from stuffy offices and irritating politicians breathing down his neck all the time…
Since he doesn’t have to worry about getting sick, he’ll give up on using this opportunity to be more productive and instead try once to spend some time with you while you’re healing. But like he suspected, you’re boring when you just sleep all day and complain about feeling bad in the few moments you are awake. You won’t be seeing the real Funny often when you’re being“boring”, which he openly calls you when you’re sick.
Unfortunately for him, making alternate versions of himself take care of you made you grow real tired of seeing his face, so by the time you’re feeling better you’re already planning a nice long vacation that he’s not invited on.

Chapter Text

-Nickname-

Pigeon.
Your husband always called you that. You told yourself it was cute, just Diego being his usual eccentric self, but attempting to be sweet with that demeaning little pet name.
“You get to be ‘Dio’ but I have to be ‘Pigeon’?” was all you said in response, only one time in the history of the many, many times he called you his pigeon.
He’s so glad that you had acknowledged it! He had smiled at you and tilted his head and so confidently declared: “yes!” to you.
“Do you get it? Why I call you ‘Pigeon’?” his tone was always so…condescending. But you didn’t understand it, and it’s hard for you to be insulted by a teasing nickname if you don’t know what exactly he’s taking a jab at.
“Not in the slightest.”
“Aw, try to figure it out, you might be able to do it if you actually use your head~”
You were too irritated at how he was talking to you to think that deeply about the nickname at the time. You told him off for how rudely he was always talking to you even though you were literally his spouse, and as usual he didn’t seem affected at all, telling you that you were just being emotional.
You’ve been married to him for a year now, and he’s been calling you pigeon since you met him; but you hadn’t wondered about it since the one time you asked him about it.
Until now.
Diego was gone again, away for another horse race. You didn’t want to pack your bags so you could go with him, and he hadn’t felt like dragging you along with him anyways, so it had worked out better for both of you that you just stayed on the estate.
So you decided to explore “Diego’s parts of the house” that you usually avoided, enjoying the quiet without him around irritating you with his annoying laugh and nonsensical jokes.
His parts of the house included the best bedroom (you slept in different beds due to your incompatibility in the privacy of a chamber), his half of the library, and his personal study, which you had only gotten a quick glimpse of on occasion, because you couldn’t stand to be in that room for very long due to how he decorated it.
Such a contemptible, arrogant jerk…maybe you’d move some of his stuff around to mess with him, and maybe you could manage to ignore the most irritating part of his study this time, though it’s glaringly obvious.
The room was behind two grand double doors that practically chanted: “This is Lord Dio’s private study!”
Your husband was so extra…you remembered telling him it was a complete waste of money to get those doors installed. And as usual, Dio had done it anyways.
You hated those stupid, gaudy double doors. Every time you had to walk by them you were reminded of how you were married to the most arrogant and insatiable man in this reality.
You pushed the doors open with irritation, and your eyes are inevitably drawn to the right wall, despite how much you wanted to ignore it.
Diego’s trophy collection, glistening golden in the sunlight from the open window, each glimmer seeming like a mocking laugh at you, or a teasing wink, taunting you with its mere existence. The giant glass cupboard filled to the brim with first place trophies was practically asking for you to knock it over. Not to mention the first place medals mounted on the wall, and all the various other awards…certificates, presents, pictures, and boxes full of fan letters that he didn’t read but loved for the way they stoked his ego.
Only first places…those were the only things worth displaying in Dio’s eyes, and in a way you were glad he was skilled enough to win every race he participated in, because the first and only time he got a second place in the course of your marriage was a disaster.

-Second Best Only Once-

It was a shock to everyone, really. He had made a rare, and noticeable, mistake. Humiliated himself in front of hundreds of people, resulting in a shameful second place (though he considered every second place shameful) and even you had attended this race so he also embarrassed himself in front of someone he was forced to see often-
He had held it together in public, though not without looking the slightest bit frustrated and his body language reading as incredibly tense. He refused any questions, managed a smile for the camera, and disappeared from the crowds.
And you didn’t know what to do…you’d see him at home…did he need you to comfort him or was it better to just leave him alone? This had never happened before and would probably never happen again but you had to pick something to do…
So you opted to quietly observe him, and make a choice off of that.
He was pissed. Even if he was upset over something, he had never made that obvious to you before. Maybe at most he’d be a little meaner in his teasing than usual but otherwise he’d just avoid you.
Not this time though.
The train ride back home had been eerily quiet, the tension radiating off of him practically suffocating you. He absolutely refused to look at you, so you knew saying anything at this point would be ignored, or you’d just make his distress even worse.
When you get home, you try to take his coat for him, and he quickly shrugs it off his shoulders and abandons it in your hands in his haste to get away from you and lock himself in his study, having still not spared you even a quick glance or uttering a single word to you.
You quietly hang up his coat, hearing the double doors of his study swing open and shut with more force than usual.
You wait a moment, just listening. Sounds like he’s pacing around his study, the bang of what you assumed was his boots being thrown at a wall, and shortly afterwards a loud, splintering smash. Well you couldn’t ignore that-
You probably should’ve knocked before entering his study, especially right now, but that noise scared you…if he had done something he was going to regret later, you had to see.
You thought he might’ve broken the cupboard with all his trophies-
Instead he’s standing over his expensive wooden desk, now broken in half by his own doing.
“Diego…” you murmur, not so much because he was clearly stressed out and you wanted to comfort him, and more so because you were suddenly acutely aware of how much raw strength Diego had.
He glares over his shoulder at you, the sheer cold of his gaze turning your stomach into a block of ice.
“I’m going to bed,” he says. It’d scare you less if he was screaming, his strangely quiet voice triggered some instinct in you to run and hide.
He walks past you, you listen as he marches up the stairs, and his bedroom door swings open and slams shut.
God, when did you start shaking…?
With no idea of what else you could do for him, you go about arranging for a new desk to replace the broken one. Preferably made with an even sturdier wood.
-
Only about a week after Diego’s small blunder that resulted in a second place instead of a first, the trophy had arrived.
You’re not sure what you were thinking…you were kind of hoping leaving it on the new desk you had purchased for him would make him less upset about the whole thing…
But from how he was calling your name from his study…he wasn’t happy at all.
“Yes…?” his gaze was still making you uncomfortable, even after a week, so instead you stare past him at his shiny silver trophy instead.
“Why the hell would you bring this garbage in here?” he growls out, genuinely irritated. You know he’s talking about the trophy, you KNOW that-but your mouth is working much faster than your brain in your sudden nervousness at the sight of Dio upset.
“I thought you’d like the desk, but I can get a different one if you want.” you reply, mentally smacking yourself because that was NOT what you wanted to say.
“Not the desk,” he huffs, swiping the trophy off it and getting right in your personal space. He grips one of your arms tightly, using his other hand to shove the trophy right in your face like he was making some kind of point. “What made you think I wanted THIS in my field of vision?!”
“You still won it,” you point out, taking a step back. “You should be proud…second place is good!”
“Not good enough!”
You weren’t used to flinching away from him as much as you have been this past week.
He shoves the trophy into your hands-but it was better than breaking something again, you suppose…
“Get rid of it! I don’t want to see it ever again!”
“You’re being UNREASONABLE, it’s only a trophy!” you shout back, not that you wanted a screaming match, but dooming yourself to one anyways. “You’re throwing a tantrum like a CHILD.”
You’ve argued with him before. Many times, honestly, and no matter what you said or how frustrated you got nothing you ever did seemed to get under his skin. Every argument before had been just a silly game to him. He’d tease and torment for the entertainment that came from your reaction. Your weak attempts to knock him off his high horse always amused him.
But now you had finally done it. Found a string of words that Really touched a nerve. The one thing he hated more than Anything was being talked down to.
Usually he could take with grace, even if it made his blood boil…but combined with how physically ill he had been feeling this past week over a fatal error, and your statement about him being childish, any last remnant of his composure shattered like glass.
His hand went to your throat, stopping mere centimeters before it made contact with your neck, his once handsome features twisted into something that could only be described as a snarl.
“Diego…hey…”
The silver trophy drops from your hands. They tremble as you lift them up to touch Diego’s wrist, as if you could really stop him if he chose to do anything right now, and you’re almost embarrassed at how pathetic and weak your voice sounds right now. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t, right? He just lost himself for a second…he wouldn’t hurt you…he was just arrogant and temperamental and difficult to get along with…but not dangerous…
It only barely soothed you to tell yourself that.
A dumb rumor you heard about him once replays in your mind. About how he was actually a widower in his young age, because he had killed the old woman he was married to so he could inherit her fortune.
Right now though, with the glare he was giving you, you could almost believe it.
After a moment, he retracts his hand, slowly, poising it over his mouth while he regained that lost composure. He’s strategizing; you know that look.
“You know I hate it when you say stupid things like that,”he says in the tamest tone he could muster, before addressing the trophy. “I don’t want it in here. It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand. Make yourself useful and get rid of it, Pigeon.”
He could try to talk as calmly as he wanted while flashing that irritating smirk, but you weren’t going to just go along with it and pretend nothing had happened by pettily arguing with him over his condescending tone.
“Fine. I’ll see to it that it’s melted and turned into something else,” you suggest, waiting for him to give you some space before you kneeled down to pick up the rejected trophy.
“Mmhmm,” he hums approvingly. “Very good of you! You should listen to me more often~”
Disguising it as yet another jerky, condescending comment was so like him. But that was definitely a threat.
Right now you just wanted to take the trophy and get the hell away from him.

-A Gilded Cage for a Darling Pigeon-

Of course it wasn’t lost on the ever observant Diego Brando that the incident in his study with the trophy had changed your perception of him. Another mistake. Another shameful mistake, lashing out at you like that…
Now you were treading lightly around him, not talking or complaining so much, and watching him much more intently when he did anything.
How boring. He had made you boring, but now he had a different game to play with you.
Of course you thought it was suspicious. Diego suddenly buying you your favorite flowers instead of some grand expensive gift, and pretending to take an interest in you as a person, asking about your day and how you were feeling as if he were a doting husband that actually cared about such things.
He didn’t usually get physically affectionate with you in private, unless he was in one of his strange, clingy moods. But suddenly he was taking every opportunity to hold you and be gentle with you, giving your neck special attention with the way he nuzzled his cheek against it and kissed it whenever he had the opportunity.
“Delicate little Pigeon…”
He used the nickname much more frequently now, as if it were some proof he still thought of you fondly as his.
You shied away from his strange affection. At the end of the day, Diego was the hungriest man you’ve ever known. And whatever he was doing right now to win you back over to his side wasn’t motivated by anything like love, or even guilt for shattering that already shallow trust you had in him. This was a gluttonous motivation. To possess. Your devotion was yet another competition. You could adore as many men as you wished, but he had to be your favorite. The one you’d always choose in the end, over and over. First place. Number one. THAT’S what Diego wanted from you. For you to look at someone else but think of him and how glad you are that your last name is Brando.
But combine that desire with how he looks down on you, and he’s constantly sending mixed messages. Hence why he keeps your devotion by making your life comfortable. He might not be gentle or doting in how he talks to you, but he really will give you any physical thing you want. The best house, the fanciest outfits, the most expensive pets…ask and he’ll get it for you. No one else has the means AND the willingness to spoil you like he does. So as long as you didn’t completely detest his presence, you would keep choosing him and choosing him and choosing him.
“It’s a rather demeaning nickname…” you point out during one of his affectionate barrages of love. He stops rubbing his cheek against yours, poking your arm thoughtfully.
“How do you mean?” he purrs halfheartedly, clearly knowing exactly what you mean but choosing to be difficult.
“It sounds like you’re looking down on me when you call me a ‘delicate little pigeon’.”
“But it’s the truth, isn’t it?” He would sound genuine if you didn’t know any better.
“Diego…I’m not understanding,” you say directly. “Are you just teasing me, or are you trying to get at something?”
He places his hands on your shoulders, his tone shifting slightly colder, more detached.
“You’re a pigeon. You, and every other damn weakling in this society. All of you just wandering aimlessly, desperate to be free of the responsibility that comes from really living. All you pigeons want is to wallow in your own self-indulgence, hold still, and worry about nothing.” His voice is rising in intensity with each syllable. If he wanted to regain your trust, he’s momentarily pushed that down in favor of letting you know how he really felt.
“This society of pigeons needs someone to lead them…that is my goal. To reach the apex. To rule the mindless pigeons. They are all worthless. Their lives are meaningless; I will control them. And show them how pathetic they really are.”
Pure, unbridled hatred and bitterness…his tone of voice, his genuine malice…you’ve never heard someone talk like that before.
You feel cold under your skin, and when you shiver, he rubs his warm hands along your arms, like he could stroke your distress away. Like he could convince you the discomfort you were feeling right now was nothing more than physical.
“How can you talk like that…” you say, because you can’t think up a real reply. You put a hand over his, attempting to gently push him off of you. But his grip is firm. Not quite hurting you, but not letting you squirm away either.
“You’re a little bit different though. Lucky you.”
“I don’t want to hear this…”
“You’re a domesticated Pigeon. Delicate and weak willed, just like all the other ones. But because you live in my house and have my last name I’ll treat you sweetly. You’ll always be a Pigeon…but an especially spoiled one. And I’d wager you don’t really want things to change, because at the end of the day you fall asleep comfortable with your life, and who in their right mind really wants to change something comfortable?”
“Stop! Stop talking!” you protest. He doesn’t have any real interest in holding you close to him, so you writhe your way free from him, spinning to face him so he can’t keep this rambling up without looking you in the eye. He meets your challenge, not to your surprise, his eyes glaring into yours with ferocity.
“Does that bother you? I bet it won’t for long. You’ll forget about it or push it down in a couple of days; you don’t need dignity when you can live comfortably your entire life by sitting back and letting me take care of everything for you.” He changes his pace to be slower, enunciating his words condescendingly as he leans in close to you, his gaudy cologne filling your senses. “That’s the only thing you want, regardless of what you tell yourself. But it’s only natural. All the other Pigeons feel the same way. The only difference is I’m going to give it to you, because I love you very much and I have the means to make my spouse the most spoiled Pigeon of the flock.”
Diego had always been able to insult you and tell you he loved you in the same breath. In his world he could say whatever he wanted, only physical harm was something people like you didn’t recover from.
Given how you still haven’t left him yet only further cemented his confidence in that idea.
“You don’t love me,” you point out.
“Sure I do. In the same way you love all the pampered little dogs I’ve been buying for you.”
“So I’m a little dog now?”
He waves his hand dismissively. “Little dog, pigeon…whichever you prefer. It means the same thing to me.”
“You are a terrible man, Diego Brando.”
“Well I’d rather be terrible than completely USELESS.”
He really loved to throw that adjective around. Useless, useless, useless…if he kept saying it out loud eventually he’d be convinced everyone else and anything they tried to do really was entirely useless.
You cross your arms and turn your face away from him. Completely ignoring him was the only thing that got through to him sometimes. And even now as he gets frustrated at you and calls you a brat who refuses to use their words, you remain stubborn this time, giving him no reaction for his hypocritical, childish insults.
Keep on yelling, Diego. Maybe someone will hear you, you think to yourself. He may be stubborn as hell, but you’ve learned just from watching him that even if he doesn’t get over your defiance he’ll grow bored and leave you alone for a bit if you don’t react to him.
“FINE,” he says decisively after a long few minutes spent trying to get you to look at him again. “Be that way!” Said as if he was being the bigger person by walking away from the argument right now.
He makes a point of slamming the door behind him as hard as possible, JUST to get one last reaction from you. Even if he couldn’t see it, you definitely winced from the noise.
He got the slightest bit of satisfaction from that little victory.
After all, you had been the one who gave up on talking to him. He had won the argument, assuming that’s what it was. And that was the important thing to a man like him.
What you really hated though, was how much of a point he might’ve had there. For once. Why hadn’t you ended things with him yet? Because Diego was your comfortable cage?
A mere glance around the palace of a mansion you lived in answered your questions for you. You didn’t like the answers, but the thought of admitting Diego might’ve had a valid point about you for once made you ill enough to discard the thought and never consider it again.

Chapter Text

Kars: He’s so sick of humans! Apparently you’ve learned nothing from his frequent lectures on how pathetic and weak they are, and completely unreliable too. He warned you that Joseph and Caesar would have little interest in remaining friendly with you if they found out about your vampiric nature…and they surely would, given how observant Joseph Joestar is. No matter how you hid your mouth with a scarf, or insisted you could only go out with them at night because your schedule is so busy during the daytime, he’d eventually see through your act.
You had made your choice and sacrificed your humanity to be as close as you could to Kars and the other Pillar Men. You’d never reach the peak physical perfection Kars sought to achieve, but given your willingness to don a stone mask and turn to vampirism, he would allow you to see him reach that excellence.
You think it’s silly he can’t possibly imagine why you’d miss being a human sometimes. And despite how he pretends not to be interested in you most of the time, he doesn’t love the idea of you playing buddy buddy with the only humans who are actively fighting against him.
Kars is resourceful though. Go on. Play around with those irritating humans, but if you want to be apart of his vision of the future you’d better bring back the red stone of Aja that’s being guarded by their mentor.
He’s making you pick a side. And as unsurprised as you are, you’re still conflicted…
You’re not human anymore. Maybe he’s right when he says he’s the only one who can truly understand you and your situation…and he has a point when he reminds you the longer you go without telling them the truth, the worse it will be when they inevitably figure you out.
Ugh. Kars’s mind games are the worst. He’s supposed to be on your side. Your elegant partner who supports you and protects you. But really he just loves Telling you that’s what he’s doing while trying to get what he wants from you.
You’re really being pulled in two completely different directions, but Kars frequently reminds you of who’s been by your side longer, and who will be with you in the future, and how meaningless it is to make friends with humans you’ll outlive by a long, LONG time.
You wish he’d stop talking so much. And making so much sense. In your mind it’s not so foolish to be friends with them, but then Kars opens his mouth and makes you doubt and…eventually just quietly disappearing from Joseph and Caesar’s life sounds like the best choice.
And if you bring the red stone of Aja back with you, the grudge he had been secretly harboring against you for choosing to spend time with mere mortals instead of him will fade a tiny bit. It will take a LONG time for him to actually fully get over your audacity, but the two of you will have an eternity to get over petty grievances with each other.

Diavolo: He really doesn’t like that you go out at all, let alone that you play nice with Bucciarati’s squad.
And when Giorno and Trish get added to the equation? Forget it. He’s putting you in lockdown mode. Giorno is a threat because he has very limited information on him as a new member of Passione, and all you have to say is that he’s: “a kind guy.” And after meeting Trish you’ve decided to try and convince him to actually follow through on his lie to protect her.
He thinks it’s completely ridiculous, and that your mind has been poisoned by sentimentality. Against his better judgement he had let you socialize just a bit. And look at what happened. He didn’t anticipate you were so incredibly soft. Add that to the list of things in this mess he had to fix.
He made it very clear to you he had no intention of taking in Trish as his daughter, or going easy on Giorno if a confrontation occurred. And since he told you all of that, you’re not going anywhere until he’s done with everything he intends to do.
You think it’s overkill on his part to actually lock you away in the middle of nowhere while he “takes care” of things. But in his efforts to keep you under his control he leaves you in an undisclosed location with supplies to last you a week. Ridiculously paranoid and possessive of him, and since you’ve known each other for so long he doesn’t bother to hide that it’s because he hates when you’re out of his control.
Fortunately for you, you’ve learned a few things due to your observance of how he runs his mafia. He’ll be REAL irritated if he finds out you sent a call to Bucciarati’s gang…good thing you know how to use voice changers and make your calls untraceable. You just wanted to send a warning, nothing more. Though you had resigned yourself to the life of an anonymous and ruthless gangster, you didn’t have the heart to let him kill the Bucciarati gang that you’ve grown so fond of. Diavolo wouldn’t understand. He always thought you were much too soft-hearted to be his partner, and yet he kept you around anyways, because you had proven time and time again to be reliable despite your tendency towards mercy.
You have a good feeling that if he actually found out you had taken steps to protect them from him, he will consider it insubordination and put a stop to you immediately in the way he’d punish anyone who steps out of line and defies him.
You know Diavolo, and his obsessive determination to see his goals reached. Trying to dissuade him by warning Giorno and the others would only irritate and slow him down more than anything…but that was better than nothing. You have the hopelessly optimistic belief you might be able to convince him to leave them be, but even if you can only delay the inevitable, you intend to do all you can.

Enrico Pucci: He actively encourages you to not to visit the Green Dolphin Street Prison, even if you’re only trying to visit him at work.
Doesn’t matter that you were once a good friend of the Joestar family. Jolyne was a prisoner now. You should really stay away from her. And her father.
He believes that as your husband it’s his job to take care of you, even if that means suppressing certain memories of yours with a DISC. There will be trouble if he lets you roam around the Prison, so taking away any motivation to is his only option.
He doesn’t enjoy manipulating you. But if it feels necessary, then he will be convinced that he must do so.
It’s to keep you out of his way, but he tells himself it’s also to protect you. Jojos are bad news. And the last thing he needs is you playing buddy buddy with Dio’s literal mortal enemies.
The solution is to just pretend everything is normal. With your memories of that cursed bloodline suppressed, and him behaving like everything has been going as it usually did, you’re none the wiser, perfectly content to go on with your life like nothing bizarre is going on.
You greet him at the door when he returns home in the evening, happy to see him, behaving like you normally would, but with the slightest look in your eye that suggests something is bothering you.
“Something disturbing you?” he asks.
“Well…”
His hand on your shoulder was always so reassuring. You could tell him anything.
“I don’t feel…bad…but…my head has been feeling a bit weird lately,” you frown, slowly bringing a hand to your forehead. He brings his own hand to your head, resting his palm against it.
He tells you it’s just a slight fever. You’ll be okay after some rest. And of course you believe him. It made perfect sense, and Enrico always had your best interest in mind.
You agree that all you needed was some sleep, but he hears how you mutter to yourself on your way to the bedroom that you have the strangest feeling you’re forgetting something important.
Doesn’t matter. He can convince you that you’ve just been working too hard and it’s causing some fatigue, nothing to worry about.
You don’t suspect a thing, and if you can’t remember it, it probably wasn’t that important in the first place. At least, it was somewhat comforting to tell yourself that.

Funny Valentine: He never shared your intense fascination with horse racing, but if it made you happy and kept you out of his hair on occasion then he was happy to let you go out and watch the derbies.
He remembers very vaguely you mentioning a famous jockey getting shot in the streets and then disappearing into obscurity, but he didn’t recall a name, because he had hardly listened to you given how often you would ramble about equestrian related news. And he was busy trying to get elected as President at the time.
He had expected your excitement over the Steel Ball Run race, so you eagerly speaking to him about the various contestants didn’t seem like something worth paying much attention to. But it’s not like he could remember every name you said even if he was all ears. He’s not sure how you could possibly retain all that information, but if it made you happy…whatever.
He allows you to do pretty much whatever you want, within reason, so hearing you’ve been making a few more phone calls than usual didnt strike him as strange. After all, you were probably just excited about the race, and wanted to update your friends on it. So he dismisses it as nothing to be concerned over, and given how preoccupied he is with reaching his goals, he doesn’t have the time to worry about you or what you were getting up to. It’s not like you’ve ever caused him trouble before. So imagine how irritated and betrayed he is to hear you’ve been assisting the intruder and warning a certain Mr. Joestar about the President’s hired assassins and any information you may have gathered about their stands.
Not only have you betrayed him personally, if he wanted to he could consider your actions treason!
He’s QUITE offended. He put So Much trust in you, and in his eyes his goals are noble and just…so WHY are you fighting against him all of a sudden? Weren’t you on his side? Why are you betraying him?
Maybe if he listened to you once in a while he would understand what you were thinking.
He’s never been so mad at you, but he manages to maintain his composure and not do something drastic. He can’t stand to look at you while he’s so upset though, so he has one of his hired assassins keep an eye on you. Any calls you make are monitored, and you’re no longer allowed to leave on your own.
If it wouldn’t cause a huge scandal, he’d probably consider cutting ties with you and kicking you out of his life.
But unfortunately for both of you, he values his reputation among the general public. You’re together til death parts you. Unfortunately he did promise you that. And that was one of his rare promises he actually intended to keep, solely because he considered it necessary.
Though you’re definitely not going back to the way you once were anytime soon. He’s no longer patient with you, or interested in speaking to you at all. And he avoids spending any time with you.
He will encourage you to keep up with your interest in the equestrian world though, because he thinks the irony that will come from taking Diego and Johnny’s lives will send a suitable message to you.
Some nerve, defying him like that. He might not ever get over it.

Chapter Text

Joseph Joestar: Oh he was QUITE confident in his ability to capture your essence on paper. And no matter how you insisted this was only for fun, not a competition, he was determined to be better at this than you. And he even tries to sabotage you, just a bit, by doing a hard pose to draw when it’s your turn to sketch him.
He IS fun to model for though, flirting with you while he directed you on how to pose for him. For a moment you almost feel like an actual professional model with the way he plays it up. He even makes a camera click noise with his mouth when he’s finally happy with your pose.
He works pretty quickly, talking out loud to himself as he goes, occasionally holding up his handiwork so he can compare it to you.
“Tell me how much you love it.”
He says it SO confidently given how…unimpressive his art skills are…
I mean…you can definitely tell it’s you. Because the character he drew has your outfit. But it’s a bit exaggerated proportion wise and he REALLY cannot draw faces to save his life wow-
“Is that my…nose?”
He’s a bit offended. “NO, that’s your mouth. This is your nose.”
You squint when he points to a spot on the drawing but you don’t really know what he’s pointing to.
But you’ll treasure it forever, you had so much fun being his model and doodling each other. And he quite enjoyed modeling for you, too, very happy to have a sketch of himself drawn by you. You drew him winking with a smug smirk on his face while in that stupidly complicated pose he decided to do despite your protests.
It’s unmistakably Joseph Joestar.

Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli: He loves this idea, but takes it SUPER seriously. He has you very carefully posed, and really takes his time illustrating you to the best of his ability. He even uses watercolors to add to your “inherent elegance” as he calls it.
When you finally get to see it…
It’s a bit amateurish, but still quite impressive, though he totally exaggerated your grace and poise. Your clothes flow in the wind as you pose delicately by a fountain…he definitely took some artistic liberties because there wasn’t any wind when you posed for him, and your outfit wasn’t THAT pristine, but it’s a lovely portrait, and you can’t help but smile learning Caesar really sees you as such a graceful and lovely person.
You feel yours isn’t nearly as grand in comparison, as you drew him much more casually, resting with his chin on his hand, looking quiet and contemplative. He adores every gift you give him, but something this personal is especially wonderful to him.
But you’re a bit embarrassed to see he went through the trouble of framing your drawing of him…sheesh Caesar…he’s so extra sometimes…

DIO: He could maybe make some free time for you in his evenings to indulge in the fine arts. You’re not sure if you’re surprised or unsurprised he actually takes a bit of interest in such things. You want to draw him? He’s happy to indulge you.
You’re off to a strong start because you have to hastily tell him he doesn’t have to take off all his clothes, you’re not making THAT kind of drawing-this was supposed to be cute!! Just pose nicely!
He can’t help himself and goes with something pretty provocative, but whatever. At least your drawing is gonna reflect his personality well.
He’s not opposed to drawing you in turn but he’s bossy just for the sake of it. He wants you to pose a certain way and if you move at all he swore he was going to stop immediately. And he was a man of empty promises, but not empty threats, so you held as still as you could manage, a bit embarrassed at the pose he demanded of you. He chides you a bit for acting surprised that his sketch of you actually looks really good.
You, posed with your arm on your own shoulder, and your head tilted so your neck is very exposed and you are surrounded by darkness. It’s a beautiful sketch, done quickly, and he has signed his name in big letters right on the drawing of you. Such a Dio thing to do. You understand even clearer how he feels about you.
He thinks you should consider it a generous gift that he deigned to waste his time illustrating you, so you’d better treasure that half-hearted sketch he’s made for you.
He has no interest in taking great care of your sketch of him though. It will be tucked away in a book somewhere and promptly forgotten about, but if you were to suggest another drawing session while he was in a pleasant mood he might not refuse.

Rohan Kishibe: Only AFTER suggesting it did you realize perhaps it was not such a good idea.
Rohan was a Very Fast artist. As soon as you suggested it he had an amazing illustration of you done in five seconds flat. You tried to explain it completely defeated the point to go so fast, and that you were supposed to pose for him at least while he drew you!
Well…he doesn’t really see the point in that. But it’s not like he’s swamped with work so…he will try to indulge you if it would make you happy.
You ask him what pose you should do and he says you can do whatever you want because he could replicate it accurately.
Once again defeating the point but whatever.
You try to do a cute pose in the hopes you can convey your romantic intent with this activity. All he does is quirk an eyebrow at you and mutter that your pose looks a bit uncomfortable to hold, but that he’ll be quick so it’ll be fine.
You sigh. He was so unromantic. You were posing SO cutely and he STILL wasn’t getting it.
His illustration of you is professional, even inked and colored with markers, and it only took him a few seconds. You’re posed draped across the couch, with your arms spread and your legs bent to give the appearance of stretching charmingly.
He narrows his eyes in confusion when you proclaim it is his turn now. Apparently he wasn’t listening very closely to how this was supposed to work.
He doesn’t want to pose so you can draw him! That’s boring. He could be doing something else. This really isn’t supposed to be an argument, so you suggest he reads a book or something so he’s not entirely “wasting his time” while you draw him.
He’s grumpy about it, but relents. As long as you promise to be quick.
He just quietly reads in his chair while you doodle him. It’s awkward and not nearly as romantic as you were hoping for, but you’re pretty happy with how your sketch of him turned out.
He doesn’t have much to say on your drawing, quick to excuse himself so he can finally go back to doing whatever he was doing before you interrupted him with this date idea of yours.
But he loves it very much, and keeps it safe in his studio, but he’ll be a bit of a brat about it if you ask because he’s embarrassed to admit it makes him feel good.

Jotaro Kujo: He’s decent at drawing, but only animals, not so much people. But if you’re both not busy one evening then fine, might as well.
He tells you to keep your expectations low, but you’re just glad to finally be spending some quality time with him. He’s not the easiest man to schedule time with, always busy with something.
His drawing of you is simplistic but recognizable, since he knew he’d struggle with detail and it’d just end up bad if he tried.
You love it! It’s rare for him to do anything like this for you, so the drawing is very dear for you, regardless of how he insists it’s not anything to be so excited about. He doesn’t really say anything, but he’s glad it makes you happy, even though he doesn’t feel like he did much.
You accidentally draw his hat too big when it’s your turn to draw him, but otherwise you think it looks pretty cool. You tried to capture the coolness of his white jacket blowing in the wind. You can’t really tell if he likes it, but he ends up folding your sketch nicely and keeping it safe somewhere, so you like to think he enjoyed this little bonding activity.

Yoshikage Kira: UGH, you’re not sure what you were expecting. The drawing he makes of you is…interesting. You’re recognizable, slightly above stick figure status…but he put a Very noticeable emphasis on your hands, putting much more effort into them than anything else in the drawing. The more you look at it the more you realize it’s just a really low-quality imitation of the Mona Lisa. Now you understand the purpose of the pose he suggested. But he seemed to moderately enjoy himself, so…Success, you suppose.
He’ll cooperate and pose for you as long as it doesn’t take too long.
You go for something casual, his pointer finger against his cheek, his other fingers against his chin. Relaxed, but stylish.
He thanks you for the drawing and tucks it away somewhere. It’s safe, but out of mind.
He doesn’t really care if you keep ahold of his drawing of you though. You’re free to do whatever you want with it, he’s not an artist so he understands if you don’t want to keep it, it didn’t take that much effort to draw anyways.
You keep it for a bit but eventually lose track of it. It’s pretty funny when you accidentally stumble across it after it disappeared for a long time. Oh yeah. That weird drawing Yoshikage did of you where he only tried when he was sketching your hands. You had forgotten about that. For good reason.

Guido Mista: He’s definitely not an artist but if you don’t care about how it turns out and just wanna spend time with him through this activity then he’s totally down.
The bullets end up wanting to draw you too so…you end up with a lot of poorly drawn portraits of yourself. Honestly you couldn’t pick out Mista’s drawing from the bullets’. How do they all draw the same way…
All the drawings of you are pretty much just stick figures with very large heads. He said he wanted to capture your facial features accurately so he had to make your head bigger. More room for the eyes. Yeah he’s definitely not taking this too seriously but you expected as much from him. So to counter him, you draw him poorly as well, and then all of the bullets large and in as much detail as you can manage.
He pretends to be offended by it. “Why’d you draw my eyes so big?!” he asks. Because beyond his sense of fashion his deep dark eyes are his most notable feature! Duh.
He ends up losing the drawing on accident within a week but! The important part was how fun it was! The finished products weren’t that important-
Please don’t be mad at him-

Bruno Bucciarati: He thinks it’s a lovely way to spend some time together, so he does what he can to clear his afternoon so he can spend it with you. He starts by saying he’s not an artist so don’t expect too much from him, but his brow furrows in concentration once you’ve assumed a pose you thought he’d like. You go for something cute but
stylish, sitting with one leg up and your other outstretched along the couch elegantly.
His drawing of you is cute. Soft lines and very simple, mostly just capturing your pose than any other details, with dots for eyes because he claims he cannot draw eyes for the life of him. It’s sweet, surprisingly adorable for the serious capo. He tells you not to show his gang though, or he’ll never hear the end of it.
You embarrass yourself a bit when it’s your turn, because you spent a very long time concentrated on his chest trying to get his tattoo accurate. And he’s not helping with his flirty little remark where he suggests you could probably see a little better if you sat closer to him. And then pat his own lap.
It totally breaks your concentration, so you decide your drawing of him is now finished, handing it over to him before he can fluster you any further.
He thinks it’s lovely, and he promises to take care of it, and make even more of an effort to carve out some free time to spend with you, even if it’s just half an hour or so.
He’s already planning a date he can surprise you with next time.

Leone Abbacchio: He’s not one for sweet romantic gestures, so he pushes back a bit, but if you nag him he’ll give in pretty quickly. It’s not like you’re asking him to do something he really hates doing, and he has a particular weakness for you…so fine. But just this once.
He’ll hold still so you can sketch him, but only for ten minutes, and he gets to choose the pose.
At least the pose he chooses looks nice. Despite his jaded personality, he’s a pretty and elegant looking man. You draw a side profile of him, his expression that usual impassive frown, but his features have a sort of rugged grace.
When you slide your masterpiece over to him, he exhales through his nose so he can maintain that grouchy persona, but he’s gentle when he actually takes the drawing from you.
When it’s his turn to draw you, he works quickly and silently, not even looking at you, which leads you to think he’s still unhappy about being asked to do this.
He won’t admit it but he didn’t look at you because he didn’t have to. He’s replayed memories of you through Moody Blues enough times to have your face memorized.
You weren’t expecting much when he casually slid the piece of paper over to you.
But when you look, you can’t help the way your jaw drops. A side profile of you that mirrors the one you drew of him. Drawn amazingly well. It’s accurate, elegant, surprisingly soft…he’s even sketched a few flowers alongside you to make the piece more aesthetically pleasing.
The way you stare makes him embarrassed, and he ends up biting out that if you didn’t like it you should just throw it away.
You respond by clutching it protectively against your chest. It just makes him more embarrassed to know you’re going to be clinging to that thing for a while. There’s really no winning with him-
WHATEVER.
You can do whatever you want with it, but do NOT show that off to Mista, Narancia and ESPECIALLY NOT Giorno (not that Giorno would tease him, but the mortifying idea of that blond knowing ANYTHING about him makes Leone feel ill).
Once enough time has passed, you can start convincing him to make a few quick sketches for you, since they make you happy for whatever reason, and unfortunately for him he loves making you happy even if that means dropping the apathetic gangster disposition for a moment.

Ghiaccio: You thought that you had finally found something that was relaxing for both of you and wouldn’t completely frustrate him and result in him losing his temper. Again.
Turns out you were incorrect. Again.
Firstly he’s not a fan of sitting still. He’ll sit in one spot for you, but he’s tapping his foot the whole time and fiddling with his phone. So you try to go as fast as you can before he gets too impatient with just sitting there waiting for his turn to draw you.
It turns out a little bit rushed, but you feel like you captured his look pretty well, even adding some red to his glasses and shoes for a splash of color.
But when it’s his turn to draw you…he starts getting frustrated fast. He keeps erasing and starting over, the poor paper getting smudged and wrinkled into oblivion, and eventually he gets mad enough to stop when he accidentally rips through the paper with his pencil.
He shouts a slew of Italian curse words before saying he’s done with this stupid date, slamming the sketchbook onto the table in front of you and storming off in a huff of embarrassment at how poorly the drawing turned out.
Well that went great.
His drawing is honestly pretty cute, the condition of the paper and the eraser smudges and rips tell quite a story…
Because of how crumpled the paper turned out it kinda looks like the hastily drawn version of you got hit by a frying pan or electrocuted by a lightning bolt, but you still like it. It was nice of him to at least entertain your idea, even though it ended up frustrating him.

Diavolo: Draw him? NO.
Not a CHANCE in HELL.
Remove that idea from your mind immediately and never bring it up again. He will not allow even one vague sketch of him to be made, and if you do it anyways he will not forgive you.
Really you should’ve expected that reaction. What were you thinking with that one…?
But if you irritate him enough about it, he’ll Eventually get fed up and tell you to sit down and hold still. If all he has to do to get you to stop whining was sketch you, then FINE. He’ll sketch you.
Stop squirming in your seat and squealing with excitement…you’re giving him a headache.
You try to hold still for him.
He radiates irritation at having to do this, his gaze intense and the strokes of his pencil harsh and deliberate.
“There.”
He tosses the sketchbook over to you and promptly gets up and leaves before he has to hear your feedback.
It’s pretty good actually. A little rough since he drew it while in a particularly foul mood, but if he actually tried he could really make something nice.
If you tell him you love what he drew for you he’ll dismiss your compliment immediately. He doesn’t care about his art skills, he has much bigger things to concern himself with than sitting around sketching his partner whenever they begged him for that kind of attention.

Jolyne Cujoh: At first she thinks it’s a super cute and romantic date idea, so she’s eager to try it with you.
She does a cool pose for you, elegant but powerful, and she tries to hold it for you but it ended up not being the easiest pose to hold so you have to work fast. She ends up having to stretch after that painful pose, and even though you feel a bit bad listening to her complain about how she pulled a muscle doing that, it’s hard not to enjoy how she rolls her shoulders to loosen them.
She says it was totally worth it because she loves your sketch of her. You better believe she’s going to take good care of it, even if you say it’s not good because you had to rush it. Too late. She’s not giving it back. You’ll have to fight her for it, and you know from experience you’re not winning if you try playfully roughhousing with her.
When it’s her turn to draw you, she pretends to be highly concentrated and serious, but she ends up feeling a bit embarrassed when she actually finishes her sketch of you.
It’s not bad at all, very cute, and she gave you sparkly anime eyes since they’re the only type of eye she knows how to draw. The proportions aren’t perfect, your head looks kinda big compared to your body, and it’s pretty simple, but in a way where you could claim it was a stylistic choice and not on accident.
If you really insist you love it she’ll be slightly less embarrassed, but don’t go showing that around to everyone! It’s for your eyes only!
She signs it for you with a playful green lipstick stain.
But seriously. Don’t show it around.

Johnny Joestar: Usually you’re both too tired by the time you’re setting up camp when it starts getting dark during the SBR to think about doing anything cute with each other.
But one evening you have an extra burst of energy, and there’s juuust enough light by the fire to do a sketch of Johnny.
Well, if you want to. He’s not ready to fall asleep yet so you might as well.
You really wanna capture his intense eyes. So you don’t make him do anything in particular except look at you on occasion so you can make sure you’re getting his face right.
It turns out okay. At least you got the eyes right. He doesn’t really know how to react beyond just thanking you and tucking the drawing away. The two of you can only hope nothing happens to it, but it can’t be helped with all the action during this race if your drawing ended up destroyed.
When it’s his turn to draw you, he’s quiet and concentrated, occasionally glancing up at you for accuracy’s sake but otherwise he seems to know what he’s doing, to your surprise.
“I think it turned out alright,” he comments, handing it over to you after signing it with a little star with two J’s in it.
It’s a bit of an understatement, even in the darkness with only the light of the fire to see, he captured an amazing amount of detail. You, sitting contemplatively by the fire, shadows dancing across your face with the flickering of the flames…and he got the scenery really accurate.
“Do you like drawing landscapes, Johnny?”
His sketch of your surroundings was done remarkably skillfully.
He shrugs, but then thinks about it for a moment before saying yeah, landscapes were more enjoyable to draw for him. You have to slow down a bit to capture the details of your surroundings accurately in a drawing so…perhaps he likes the change of pace every once in a while.

Gyro Zeppeli: He acts sooo confident despite knowing full well that he cannot draw people. And he’s a bit of a menace to you, since you said this was only for fun and nothing to take too seriously, then surely you don’t mind him constantly moving around and striking different poses and making weird jokes. If he was going to be ridiculous then FINE, you would draw him ridiculous.
You confidently declare your drawing is quite flattering and then spin your paper around to show him a half-hearted attempt at a sketch of him lying on his side with a rose between his teeth, surrounded by hearts. You’ve purposefully given him a tiny head so it looks silly.
He takes it as a personal challenge, declaring it was his turn so you’d better be ready. While he’s drawing you, you pretend to fall asleep like he was boring you.
You were expecting his drawing to be unprofessional but at least recognizable. When he confidently hands you back what he’s drawn you genuinely aren’t sure what you’re looking at.
“This is me?”
“YES, see this is your hair, and these are your arms…” he explains the drawing to you but can’t help the occasional laugh that escapes. So he WAS messing with you with this incomprehensible scribble he presented you with.
“You really captured my essence,” you say, holding the picture up next to your face to compare them.
“Like you have a twin,” he declares, accompanied by his signature laugh.
He’s such a TEASE sometimes-

Diego Brando: He’s really struggling to grasp the idea that this is just for fun and isn’t supposed to be super serious, because as soon as he’s done posing for you he’s hovering over your shoulder while you draw and backseat sketching for you. He’s like ‘oh my hair should be a little longer, you got my nose shape wrong, that’s not how my eyes look, etc.’
Ok Diego why don’t you draw yourself if you know so much about art, sheesh-
Even if you say that as a joke he might actually end up plucking the sketchbook and pencil from you and finishing it himself so it’s to his likeness. You find it a bit irritating that he’s actually pretty good at art and his additions to your drawing of him really make the piece come together. So annoying. How dare he be innately talented at drawing?
AND just to show off he makes you do a complex pose when it’s his turn to draw you. He ends up capturing it and your appearance on paper wonderfully.
You look great sketched by him, due to the pose he chose it almost looks like you’re in the middle of a dance, a sense of movement that made you look graceful and powerful. Just the type of thing Diego liked in his partners.
You’ve been a bit idealized in his drawing, not to your surprise, but you’re quite fond of it anyways. You make a point of not laying on the praise too thick though. Otherwise it would go to his head, and the last thing he needs is an even bigger ego.

Chapter Text

Formaggio: The cool, chill older brother figure to you. He never seems bothered by anything, and he’s more patient with you than with the others. He gets it’s hard to be new! He won’t start giving you a hard time til you’re more settled and comfortable in Passione. And even then the meanest he’ll be is just a bit of playful teasing.
He’ll usually be the one who stands up for you if one of the other assassins or someone else in Passione gives you a hard time for anything, even if you don’t need his intervention.
Sometimes he’ll do this really annoying thing where he steals something from you and holds it above your head so you can’t reach it. And if you get close to getting it back from him he’ll just shrink you a bit so there’s no chance for you.
When it comes to actual assassination advice, he’s not the best, since he’s been in this career for long enough that he doesn’t even think about it anymore. He just sorta. Does it. There’s nothing to think about really. With time you’ll get used to it, but that’s about all he can say.
Usually your newbie status doesn’t affect him much, but after a mission you usually struggle to relax while he wasn’t bothered at all. He can’t remember the last time he felt unnerved over taking a life, and even watching you shake and try to pull yourself together while you wash blood off your hands can’t remind him of his early days as an assassin.
Ah well.
He won’t let it bother him. It’s not like who he used to be matters anymore anyways. And eventually you’ll be like him too.
Soon it’ll be second nature to you. Then you’ll be able to take it easy like he does.

Illuso: He’s kinda like Formaggio in regards to how he’s a bit more calm and easier to talk to than most of his squad mates, but not nearly as approachable as him. So you latching onto him as a big brother figure is a bit surprising to him, but it doesn’t take long for him to really enjoy how you look up to him and seek him out for advice.
You quickly realize Illuso is the type of guy who pretends to know what he’s talking about even when he doesn’t.
Ah well.
He’s a bit annoying, and pesters you sometimes just for the sake of it, but when you’re in a mood where you can deal with him, he can actually be fun to spend time with. He’s also kinda useless when it comes to mission advice. He finds it so easy, especially since he has no qualms with fighting dirty if it meant an easy victory. He thinks you should be like him. Isn’t the whole point of assassination catching your target off-guard?
Trust him, it’s just making the most use of your stand when you use tricks and surprise attacks. La Squadra is supposed to be efficient. And if you listen to him, you’ll become a valued member of the team in no time.
That’s what he genuinely thinks, at least.

Prosciutto and Pesci: As harsh as he is, it’s hard not to look up to Prosciutto and turn to him for advice. He’s mean, definitely beyond “just being honest” BUT you can tell he’s actually well-intentioned with his severe way of speaking to you. He words it cruelly, but his advice keeps you alive. Pesci is more reasonable, with a less black and white worldview like dear Prosciutto. He’ll stand up for you if Prosciutto gets too harsh in his eyes. They both call you “Sorellina”, Prosciutto usually in a slightly condescending way, but still affectionate.
Honestly they’re both kinda softies for you, tending to cover for you when you make a mistake during a mission, and occasionally even taking care of jobs for you. But only because you’re new!! Soon you’re going to have to take care of marks on your own, they can’t always be around to save you.
That’s what Prosciutto says at least.
But Pesci won’t say no when you need help.

Melone: Weird big brother whose mere presence embarrasses you. But he’s nice to you. Weird but nice.
He’s smart, unlike Illuso he actually does seem to have at least surface level knowledge on almost anything you can think to ask about. And if you let him he’ll chat your ear off. Before you know it you’re hearing about something completely different from what you initially asked.
He’s also one to cover for you. Risotto can’t pair you two together anymore because you distract each other, and then slack off because you’re too busy goofing around and going way off track from the initial mission.
Thankfully he’s excellent mission support. You out in the field, and him supporting you from his computer.
Since you’re a little sister to him, he’s going to try and protect you to the best of his abilities. He has no one else to hang out with if something happens to you!

Ghiaccio: Even if he sees you like a little sister, you’re still subject to his unnatural rage. He is constantly pushing you to improve, after just a few weeks under his tutelage, you’ve grasped that you’d rather kill someone than deal with Ghiaccio getting upset with you for screwing up a mission. He’s efficient, powerful…and he doesn’t really slow down for you when you tag along with him on your first real mission.
He shows you how it’s done, not even considering he should ease you into the business of murder a little more gently.
At least he was pretty clear.
You certainly know what you’re Supposed to do when it’s your turn.
Honestly as long as you aren’t making any major mistakes, he’s proud of how quickly you’re becoming skilled at assassination. It doesn’t have to be precise or perfect. As long as the right person ends up dead, and you don’t get yourself injured or in trouble then who cares how you got it done.
If you do screw up an assignment though, whether you get hurt or even fail to kill the target, you will get an EARFUL from Ghiaccio. Multiple earfuls. A lot of it is because he’s just super angry at you for messing up and making more work for him, but he also cares about you. He doesn’t want you to fail…and the only way he knows how to communicate is through anger and screaming, but you’re used to it so it doesn’t even register as unusual that he’s almost always yelling at you.

Risotto Nero: (he gives big brother figure so hard honestly) As the leader of La Squadra, he naturally fills the role as your mentor, and despite initially seeming intimidating, his patience with you quickly helped you grow more comfortable around him. He remains calm even when you make a mistake, his expectations for you are reasonable…he won’t assign you a mission unless he’s certain you can handle it, and on your very first assignment he went with you to supervise. Knowing he was watching (and would step in if you really needed it) was reassuring. You wanted to impress him, make him proud…as hard as it was to take a life for the first time, Risotto’s quiet assurance and justification for the necessity of your job makes it easier.
Risotto doesn’t give out compliments excessively, so you treasure every positive remark he speaks to you. If he said you were doing well, then you were going to keep on doing what he approved of.
Though when you do have doubts about your abilities or the ethics of your job, he’s surprisingly empathetic towards your concerns. He’ll listen to your worries. And subsequently crushes those concerns with his usual stoic disposition. You will be fine. And if you really think you can’t do this, you are welcome to leave La Squadra. He won’t stop you, and he’ll even defend you should your actions be deemed traitorous by the Boss.
But he does value you as a member of the team, so consider it deeply before you decide this is all too much for you. Your family in La Squadra will miss you should you choose to leave.

Chapter Text

Diego Brando x reader in: Unreachable

For as long as you have known Diego Brando, he’s had a Strong personality…if you were to put it kindly.
Was it arrogance if he really was as talented as he thought himself? Even though he had the skills to back up his proud demeanor, he managed to push it far enough that you couldn’t help but long for the day someone knocked him off his high horse.
The Steel Ball Run seemed like a perfect opportunity for you to finally take him down a notch. But even with your talent rivaling his, if he considered you a threat it didn’t show.
He teased. Messed with you. Said things just to get in your head or get a reaction when you competed neck and neck each leg of the taxing race. But if he truly despised you, and the threat you posed to his pride, you knew he’d do something a little more drastic than just bicker with you and taunt you. He was no stranger to doing whatever it took to win.

Right now that involved snuggling close to you, since the desert night was cold, you happened to be warm, and it’s not like you could travel at night anyways, so you might as well enjoy the honor of Diego Brando’s company for an evening.
He seems to think it’s SO funny and ironic, the way you hesitantly scoot a little closer to him, your hands outstretched towards the nearly insignificant fire you managed to cobble together.
“Cold? Allow me…”
You send him a glare that tells him he better not put his arm over your shoulder like he was planning. He raises his hands in mock surrender, that irritatingly smug smirk plastered on his face.
“I’m only trying to be polite~”
“No you’re not. Quit it.”
“Quit what?”
He blinks big, innocent eyes at you. If you didn’t need to be marginally civil right now you’d consider saying a few other things. He’s been nothing but irritating to you for the majority of the race, but now when it served him he was gonna play nice with you…
Well, you weren’t having it.
“Quit acting so innocent.”
“I’m not,” he playfully pouts, “I’m just cold, and I thought you were too…I assumed that’s why we’re sitting like this right now, no?”
It makes your stomach churn in embarrassment, being this close to the man you’ve been very open about in your intention to humble in front of all of America.
Now your shoulders are touching while you huddle for warmth around a small campfire…and you’re finding it frustrating how strangely pleasant his presence can be when he’s not constantly bombarding you with his superiority complex.
He’s warm. He’s steady. His posture is good, his hands don’t shake and he’s so Frustratingly put together for how strange his mannerisms are…he radiates raw talent, with the air of a true professional in his field.
That’s why he was number one. And now that you’re sitting next to him, you’re wondering if it was really possible to follow through on your vow to best him. Even if you did, it’d just make him even hungrier. At most you’d just dent his pride, not temper it. Push him to get even more arrogant. To make sure no one can damage his pride again.
You sigh as you wonder if there was anything you could do to get through to a man like him.
He notices your frustration. Of course he does.
He smiles, not so subtly presses his arm against yours. To let you know he’s aware of exactly what you’re thinking. But also to warm you up. Such a stupid game he liked playing with you.
“The night’s still young, I don’t think I could fall asleep quite yet,” he suggests, glancing up at the stars, clear in the darkness of the desert night, but he did not feel much interest in them.
“What, want me to tell you a story?”
He laughs heartily at your sass, even though it wasn’t that funny.
“I doubt you have any stories that would actually interest me.”
You huff. “Then what do you wanna do?” Clearly he had something in mind, and you might as well just do whatever he wanted, because once his mind was set on something there was no changing it.
“I have a pretty good joke that I think you’ll enjoy,” and he smiles in a way that suggests he actually thinks his jokes are funny.
You groan, rubbing your face with your hands. “Oh Dio, not again with the jokes-“
“What?!” He scoffs in offense. “They’re good! Don’t you have a sense of humor?”
“Spare me, please…”
“It goes like this…”
Well this was going to be a long night…but it’s better than him relentlessly saying anything he can to get you to lose your confidence in the middle of a sprint to the next checkpoint.
And as irritating as his monumental ego was, that unwavering confidence made him a secure companion for a frigid night in the desert. But you made him vow not to tell anyone about how you shared a blanket by a smoldering campfire to keep from freezing in the middle of the night.

-

Scary Monsters.

It literally felt like a strange dream you would’ve laughed off once you woke up in the morning…Diego Brando…smiling in his typical carefree manner, sitting cross-legged across from you, a small creature nestled comfortably in his arms.
It’s small and scaly and he coos at it like it’s some small lap dog and not a literal dinosaur he’s cradling.
Only a few nights ago you were sitting with him by a small fire just like this…but this time Diego was…something else…
“Here…” you manage to stammer out, passing him a small mug of coffee. He snatches it from you with a surprising amount of speed, even for him.
He barely even mutters out a thank you, intensely focused on the drink, gulping it down like an animal, spilling it all over his shirt and face…you don’t even know how to react…
His face is haphazardly taped at the edges of his mouth, curving unnaturally far up his cheeks…God…what the hell…Diego has too many teeth…they’re so sharp…
He empties his cup in a mere moment, tilting his head curiously at you as you gawk at him.
“You’re staring at me,” he laughs.
“You’re acting…stranger than usual…”
“Am I!?” he shoos off the dinosaur in his lap. You watch it scurry off into the bushes…you wonder if it’s okay to just let that thing run off like that… “I don’t think so…I feel good, hell, I feel GREAT!”
……He’s not the same.
Whatever happened to him, Diego is not the same. Not just physically…in this moment, even his mind is beyond human.
“Just look at you…”
You take his face in your hands, coffee seeps into the bandages at the ends of his mouth as you try to wipe the liquid from his cheeks.
He grumbles a bit, his own gloved hands gripping your wrists in protest. The tips of his fingers curl into your skin. It’s a bit painful, his nails sharp through the gloves, even though he doesn’t mean to hurt you.
His face is so cold. So cold. The skin is hard and rough. As you trace your fingers past the bandage, you can’t resist touching a few of the sharp teeth…
Unbelievable…how was this even possible…
“What have you done? Diego, what IS this?!”
His fingers relax a bit around your wrists, nuzzling his cheek against your hand. He shuts his eyes for a moment, savoring the warmth of your hand, before his eyes open, dull with a pure apathy, a cool confidence, a carelessness and a complete seriousness in the same moment as he answers you.
“It’s only a new means to an end…do you like it?” It’s his turn to take your cheeks in his hands. He can’t help the way his nails scrape against your skin through his gloves, but given he hasn’t rended through your face yet suggests he’s trying to be gentle with you. “I’m stronger now. So I’m going to hold on to this power for a while yet.” He smiles. It doesn’t reach his eyes.
“It’s monstrous…” you reply.
His eyes lighten up as his smile widens. He laughs. Loud and obnoxious, with a rasp to it, definitely due to his transformation.
“Ohhh, that’s a great word, very intimidating…Monstrous,” he says to you, but is clearly thinking out loud. He stares at you silently for a moment. “You look a bit scared…” he notes.
“Just…I don’t know what to think right now…I don’t know what you’ve done, but it’s-”
“SCARY!” he interrupts you, like he’s had an epiphany. “Scary Monsters…that’s a good name for it.”
“Diego…”
“You’re so…” he shakes your chin, not gently enough to be considered playful, while he leans his face close to yours. “Useful.”
“WILL YOU LISTEN FOR A SECOND?!”
He blinks a bit at your sudden outburst, but otherwise doesn’t think much of it.
“You need to slow down…”
“No,” he sighs, visibly disappointed in you. “You need to catch up.”
“I don’t know what that even means, but if you’re implying I should do whatever you just did to yourself, I’m going to pass on that,” you say firmly.
He weighs the seriousness of your will with his gaze.
And decides it’s not worth trying to change your mind on the matter.
“Think on it,” he says with a shrug. He whistles for his horse.
If you weren’t wary of his newfound powers, you would’ve pointed out it was still dark and he shouldn’t ride at this time.
He leads his horse, choosing not to mount…seemed like he was just going to distance himself from you tonight. He had changed his mind on spending another cozy night with you, given how unreceptive you were to his Stand.
You watch him disappear into the darkness. The rustling in the bushes keeps you awake at night, and you clutched your revolver tightly while you attempted to get a few moments of rest after your encounter with the Genius Jockey.
And here you thought it was impossible to get through to him before…
Now his mind was REALLY out of your reach.
It would take a miracle at this point…

Chapter Text

Formaggio: He kinda just does whatever he wants in the evenings, as long as it’s fun or relaxing. If he decides to go out, you’ve gotten used to him coming back early in the morning (think 1-2 a.m. when the bars usually close) and just collapses next to you in bed, passing out pretty much immediately like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Don’t bother trying to wake him up to make him change into something more comfortable, he’s completely out. And he snores loud too.
If he stays in, he likes spending some quality time with you. But nothing too emotionally engaging, something like turning on a movie and cuddling on the couch, or enjoying a drink with you before turning in for the night.
He’s a bit clingy when he shares a bed with you, an arm around your waist and his face against the back of your neck. It’s just because it’s most comfortable for him to use you as a pillow, but it feels kinda romantic sometimes.
He doesn’t wake up at any particular time, sometimes a reasonable hour, sometimes sleeping well into the morning. If he wants to keep sleeping and you try to wake him up, he’ll get a bit grumpy with you and just shoo you away until he’s ready to get up.

Illuso: Has a whole nighttime routine for his hair and skin, and he’s particular about it, so don’t interrupt him or he’ll get annoyed.
It doesn’t take him too long, and it’s kinda amusing to see how much effort he puts into his appearance but then sleeps with little elegance. He sleeps with a sleep mask, and tends to be a blanket hog, also particular about the room he’s sleeping in too. Despite using a sleep mask he’s insistent on the room being completely dark, and he’ll complain if he thinks you’re moving around too much. At least when he’s out he’s a pretty heavy sleeper.
He sleeps in, and wakes up slowly. If you try to talk to him when he first wakes up you’ll just get some incomprehensible mumbling in reply.

Prosciutto: He smokes a lot, smokes to wind down in the evening too. You’ve had to tell him “don’t do that in the bedroom, darling,” more times than you can count. You don’t really think there needs to be a compromise…he should just go outside…but you know it’s not worth arguing with him. Fine. He can just open the bedroom window. You’ve gotten used to it by now.
You regret giving him a shoulder massage one evening early in your marriage when you thought he seemed a little tense. Now he expects it every night, and will get a bit annoyed with you if you don’t do it.
For how much of a hardened gangster he was, he sure was needy when it was just you and him alone.
He’s not really cuddly, and typically only tolerates it when he initiates. If you really want some physical contact, then he’ll let you snuggle against his chest, and that’s only sometimes.
He naturally wakes up early, around 5:30ish, and makes you wake up when he does because he’s just the WORST ugh.

Pesci: He goes to bed so much earlier than the others, Prosciutto makes fun of him for it but who’s laughing when Pesci is the only member of the team with any energy left in the evening?
He’ll go to bed without you if you stay up late, and when you do join him he’s a fairly heavy sleeper, so you usually don’t accidentally wake him up.
He moves around a lot in his sleep, you tend to get nudged during the night.
You get used to it, eventually. And it’s okay because he wakes up earlier than you so you get some guaranteed peace in the morning.
He’s aware of when you typically wake up, so if you drink coffee he’ll have one ready for you before you climb out of bed.

Melone: You imagine he’d stay up all night if you weren’t there to encourage him to go to sleep. He goes to bed when you do. Because he loves you Soooo much and is Very clingy so all of his wind down time is spent within your vicinity if you happen to be home at the same time as him. He’s usually staring at screens, typing away on his computer doing who knows what. If he’s not being super touchy and cuddly with you, he likes just existing in your presence, you doing your thing while he does his.
He has a bit of a nighttime routine, skincare specifically, but mostly he just likes watching you go through your routine.
He is super clingy in the bed with you, his hands slipping under your shirt so he can feel your skin, and his legs wrapped around yours. You can barely move once Melone starts snuggling you, but you’re used to it at this point.
A pretty light sleeper, if you get up in the middle of the night for any reason he’ll probably wake up too.
He wakes up in the morning when you wake up. If you choose to sleep in, even if he wakes up he’ll stay in bed with you until you’re ready to start the day. If you ask him he’ll get up and make you a coffee.

Ghiaccio: It doesn’t matter what time he goes to bed at, because his alarm is always set to go off at an ungodly hour.
It drives you crazy to hear that beeping at like 3:30 in the morning, but he really needs his alone time in the morning so you just let it be. He turns it off and disappears in just a few minutes, and by the time you wake up he’s usually back from whatever he had left the apartment to do.
He’s on edge most of the time, so he has a hard time winding down at night. There’s a decent chance that spending time even with you might frustrate him, so before bed he gets some exercise and then takes a shower while you get ready for bed separately.
Unless you have something you need to discuss with him you both tend to keep to yourselves in the evening. He doesn’t cuddle, and his body runs cold, so you tend to scoot closer to him only when you’re feeling warm at night.
He twitches and yells in his sleep sometimes. You’ve gotten used to it to an extent, but occasionally you can’t take it and have to wake him up.

Risotto Nero: He’s so quiet and still when he sleeps that sometimes it’s like he’s not even in the bed anymore. He’s so light a sleeper that he wakes up immediately whenever you stir in any way. He asks you why you’re touching his arm, but you were just seeing if he was still with you.
He’s not cuddly at night. If you really want to cling to him he won’t object, but it does make sleeping a bit harder for him.
He doesn’t need a lot of sleep. He gets up really early in the morning, always careful to not disturb you, and immediately gets to work; managing an assassination squad requires a lot of his attention.
You tell him he really should get more sleep, but he’s so used to his routine that it would be difficult to change at this point. He appreciates the concern, but really, he’s fine.

Chapter Text

Characters: DIO, Rohan Kishibe, Bruno Bucciarati, Guido Mista, Leone Abbacchio, Diavolo, Diego Brando

DIO: It’s like jumping into a brick wall honestly…you’re not sure why you thought jumping into his back was a good idea…for some reason you thought he would turn around from his shelves for you. He did not. You end up just slamming into his back, quite hard. Honestly it hurts a bit-
“Are you feeling bored?” he talks with that usual teasing condescension, clearly uninterested in whatever you’re up to. You hear the turning of a page. He’s not gonna indulge you at ALL on this one apparently…how embarrassing…
You hold onto his back for a moment while you recover from the daze you just put yourself into before gently sliding off of him and rubbing your poor cheek.

Rohan Kishibe: You didn’t give him any time to get ready. All you hear is him shout to hold on a second but it’s too late, you’ve already committed-
Yeahhh it’s not that he Can’t catch you but he needs a bit more of a heads up! You both go down in a loud, screaming pile with an ungraceful THUMP.
He’s so mad at you. Sure you’re in the comfort of your own home pulling a stunt like that but that’s still HUMILIATING. You get Quite the earful from him. He avoids using heaven’s door on you because you hate it when he does that, but this time he makes an exception. New rule: You cannot leap into Rohan Kishibe’s arms without at least a ten second warning.

Bruno Bucciarati: “Hm? Wait hold on I-!” well…there goes the glass he was holding. He opted to catch you instead of holding onto his drink. He’s a bit annoyed at you for tackling him while he’s got something in his hands, but you’re so cute nestling your head under his chin while you cling to him, he can only be upset at you for so long.
But don’t do that again when he’s holding something, please. At least let him put it down-he doesn’t mind catching you even in a more public setting but give him at least a bit of warning next time-

Guido Mista: The Bullets are actually useful for once, shouting “INCOMING!!!” at him when you rush at him to leap into his arms.
Still a little surprising for him, but he catches you, stumbles just a bit, and turns it into one of those catches where he spins the two of you around.
He thinks it’s so cute that you’d just leap into his arms like that, he’s not opposed at all and it’s even better if you do it in front of the others because then it looks like he’s got mad game. Even if the two of you end up falling it’s okay-

Leone Abbacchio: You imagine pulling anything like that on Abbacchio while you’re in public will result in him IMMEDIATELY breaking up with you. So you wait until you’re somewhere more private before trying it.
Unsurprisingly he is NOT a fan of you suddenly jumping onto him and clinging to him like you were made of Velcro. He doesn’t fall over or even really stumble, but he’s Not gonna indulge this by holding onto you.
“I don’t know what dumb game you’re playing now, but cut it out,” he grumbles while he pries you off of him.
Sheesh. Grumpy.

Diavolo: He’s so MEAN! He really used King Crimson on you! You end up landing past him and on your stomach when you tried to jump into his arms.
“Don’t do that.”
Oof, he is Very annoyed at you. And he doesn’t get over it easily despite how much he’s containing his anger over it right now.
He makes a point of keeping you at arm’s length and sending you a warning glare if you try to wander too close. He’s an expert at holding a grudge, too. He keeps it up for a WHILE.

Diego Brando: He could tell what you’re planning, so right before you reach him, he suddenly ducks and then uses your momentum against you by flipping you over his back. He uses enough force so you actually land on your feet, unharmed. Woah. What a damn show-off-
It’s useless to try and surprise him! Doesn’t matter if you were just being affectionate, he’s not gonna let you cling to him unless he Wants you to cling to him.

Chapter Text

“My boyfriend is sleeping,” you would say when your friend would stop by and ask about Yotsuyu. You’d say this every single time for about a month straight, and then suddenly it was Yotsuyu answering the door for your “annoying friend” (as he called her). This would go on for at least three months. He’d send her away, saying you were busy and that he was working.
And then once again. A month straight of slumber from your boyfriend.
Yotsuyu is sleeping. It might be ten in the morning, but Yotsuyu is sleeping. It might be six in the evening. Yotsuyu is sleeping. Don’t worry about him. He’s just tired.
He always reappears within a month though. Your friends can’t help but wonder what’s going on with you two.
Maybe you guys aren’t getting along? So he just leaves for a month every once in a while? But that doesn’t work…he’s on a consistent schedule…and if you weren’t getting along why would you keep this up for the latter half of nine years now instead of just splitting up? Maybe you liked that he was a prestigious architect? Your place was pretty nice due to the money he made…but surely you would’ve at least Mentioned it by now if you genuinely couldn’t stand him or he couldn’t tolerate you.
Then there was the matter of his age. The two of you had been together for nine years. He was twenty seven when you met. He should be thirty six now. How did he look the exact same as he did nine whole years ago? Even you, the person closest to him, didn’t have any good response when his age got called into question. And nine years was kinda a long time to date too…
He didn’t like how nosy your friends were. Who cared? You lived together, he provided for you, you slept in the same bed, you felt affection for each other…what was the point of some ceremony to prove your devotion to each other when already you were so clearly bonded? He thought it was stupid and a waste of time. You didn’t argue with him because you weren’t as stubborn as him, and frankly, didn’t care much about this matter.
Your friends thought he was a bit weird. But otherwise didn’t suspect much. Honestly on the outside he really didn’t seem that different from a human being.
You were the one who lived with him though. You felt the difference.
One whole month every once in a while, Yotsuyu was nothing more than an intricately shaped stone statue on the floor of your bedroom.
You would’ve dignified him by insisting he at least slept in the bed. But he was too heavy in this state.
Sometimes (oftentimes) when you felt especially lonely while he was hibernating, you would lay on the floor beside him and gently trace the elegant curve of his face until you fell asleep right there on the ground.
You’d wake up in the morning or evening…didn’t matter…he had many more days to sleep. He wouldn’t be waking up beside you. He had twenty more days to go.
His job as an architect allowed for his unusual sleeping habits.
But it left you lonely.

Chapter Text

“You’re making a mess over there.”
“Well yeah…this is PAINT.”
Rohan was glaring at you from his easel, and at the “mess” you’ve made. Really it was just a few paint stains on your apron…he was just being fussy for the sake of it, as usual.
“Are you doing that on purpose…?” he grumbles. You’ve barely started this little painting project, and since he was already almost done he was purposefully slowing down a bit by focusing on you instead.
“Rohan…”
“What?”
“Can you please relax a little.”
He huffs indignantly at you. “I am relaxed,” but even he knows he’s being a little bit of a stick in the mud right now. For as long as you’ve known him he’s been like that. You’ve been used to his eccentric nitpicking by now, but having to hear it while you’re concentrating on a delicate task is causing you to lose your focus.
“I know you. I can tell just from your voice that you wanna come over here and ‘fix’ my painting for me,” you reply with a smirk, not even looking at him while you continue your colorful masterpiece. Silence from his side for a moment. He’s not doing anything in particular. Just refusing to look at you, in denial of you knowing him well enough to accurately predict what he was feeling right now.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence? Three beats of silence, that’s rare with Rohan, even when he was giving you the cold shoulder.
You get to work peacefully for a blissful moment.
“Well you’re doing it wrong.”
You didn’t mean to roll your eyes at him but sometimes you cannot help it as you hear him set down his own palette and walk over to your easel.
“Your brush strokes are too short.”
His face is right next to yours as he observes your painting. Your personal space was also Rohan’s space.
“I barely started, how can you even tell what I’m making?”
“It’s supposed to be a sunset, I can tell from the colors you chose.”
He takes your hand and lifts it up to the canvas for you, under the guise of guiding you. Really he’s just doing it for you.
“See? If you’re painting a cloud it should be more like this.”
He’s practically dragging your hand along the top of your canvas, ‘demonstrating’ how to make long, elegant dusk colored clouds.
“You’re doing it for me…this defeats the point…” you point out. His hand on yours is secure but loose enough to paint most efficiently; a practiced artist’s grip.
“I’m not doing it for you, it’s your hand holding the brush isn’t it?”
“Rohan…”
He does that annoying chuckle right in your ear, but if you tried to rip your hand free from his right now you’d probably end up ruining the painting. You’ll just have to tolerate it until the paint runs out on the brush. Feels like it lasts a while. You sigh.
“OK, now go back to your side, thank you,” you try to shoo him away when you’re finally not in danger of messing up the artwork.
“Do it right then,” he replies, stepping back a bit. But not going back to his side. He’s going to observe you to make sure you’ve learned something.
“There’s no ‘right’ way to make art,” you counter.
He huffs. “But there Are certain techniques and proper ways to do them.”
You just have to laugh a bit at this point.
“Okay but this is Just for FUN, remember?”
He grumbles something that you’re sure is just another silly criticism you don’t want to hear.
Actually, it gives you an idea.
You turn your attention to his easel, bringing your palette over to it and examining his canvas with a comically critical eye.
Though, honestly, it’s hard to see anything Technically wrong with his piece. Rohan had an annoying amount of skill in all things art. On this canvas he’s painted some Italian architecture he once saw on his travels, from memory. Genuinely beautiful. You feel like you could step right into his painting. But you push those thoughts down through the power of your indignation.
He can already tell from your little “hmmmm…it really is quite nice…” that you’re scheming something. He’s watching you carefully, with narrowed eyes and crossed arms.
“It could use a dash of color though, don’t you think?”
“Don’t even think about it…”
As soon as you dip your brush in the pink on your palette, he’s wedged himself between you and his canvas, his hand immediately going for your brush, which you pull away from him just as quickly.
“It’s just a little bit of pink, Rohan! I’m helping you!” you laugh and dodge him, waving the paintbrush just out of his reach. He couldn’t protect his canvas and catch you at the same time, and you were going to entirely use that to your advantage.
“That’s really CHILDISH, HONESTLY! Grow up!!”
“Oh c’mon, you could remake that in like thirty seconds,” you point out, not that you were Actually going to vandalize his painting. You were just getting him back by messing with him a bit.
“That’s not the point!”
You aim the brush at him.
“Stop it.”
You take a step closer to him.
“DON’T you DARE.”
If he gets to be annoying all the time, it is Only fair you get a turn sometimes.
Chasing him around with a paintbrush wasn’t how you had Intended to spend this date with him…but it was admittedly satisfying to have the Great Rohan running away from you and hissing at you to cut it out because his clothes were expensive. As if he didn’t have a million other fancy outfits, or the money to buy more.

Chapter Text

Kars: Humans have certainly come a long way…your powers are fascinating. Such a strong power for a fragile being…he takes great interest in it, asks you questions, and observes you plenty. You can practically feel the mental notes he’s taking. He acts disinterested in your strength, smiling in that usual smug manner to suggest he wasn’t even the slightest bit concerned with your powers. But he has mixed feelings about having a human partner, especially one so strong.
With your strength, you’re uncomfortably close to an equal with him. It was fine before when you were Just a human, just a bit of mindless entertainment in his eyes…nothing to take seriously…but now that he’s aware you’re not as weak as he thought he actually pays attention to you.
He finds the alternate universe versions of you an amusing power, beyond just a neat trick. And as long as any wound you receive is not instantaneously fatal, you’re practically immune to death by unnatural means.
As much as he detests humans, strength like yours commands respect, and the other Pillar Men find you exciting…so Kars keeps you around.

DIO: The ability to travel between dimensions?Multiple versions of you existing at the same time? He’s 100% for it. Truly a fascinating ability, he’s eager to see the extent of such powers. He enjoys having a powerful partner, as long as you’re not stronger than him.
Even though you’re romantic partners, Dio will never see you as an equal, despite his flattering praise. He often asks you to demonstrate your powers to him, claiming he finds it delightful to have multiple versions of you lounging about his private chambers. He’s actually just gauging your abilities. The activation condition, any limits to how many versions of yourself you can summon, what would happen if anyone other than you is affected by your stand…
Interesting…
Once he’s confident he fully understands the extent of your powers, he becomes more doting and affectionate with you. He knows how you operate now, so you’re no longer a threat to him. You notice he doesn’t ask you for little performances anymore, and instead prefers to have you physically close to him, whether in his lap or with your arm wrapped around his.
You’re the strongest partner he’s ever had, which makes it all the more satisfying when he gets you wrapped around his finger. Sure you may be leagues above the other stand users at his disposal, but when it comes to him, even you submit. It’s a sizable ego boost. He’ll keep you around for a while yet, as long as you keep him entertained with those delightful powers of yours.

Diavolo: Ugh, why would you want more versions of yourself running around? It’s much too flashy a stand for his taste…or so he thinks. He warms up to it once he realizes it’s true potential.
Hiding in other dimensions…now THAT sounds useful. He doesn’t have much interest in the alternate world versions of yourself that you’re able to bring back, but this dimension hopping ability intrigues him.
You can imagine what he’s scheming.
You try to tell him it’s not that easy, and you won’t be indulging his little fantasies by using your ability to find him a perfect alternate dimension. He won’t risk it if you say it’s too dangerous, but a part of him will be consumed by a paranoid belief that you’re just trying to keep him from a good thing. It’s not like he knows your stand better than you though. So he has no ground to argue with you on it. Still. If the topic of your stand comes up in conversation, the tension is noticeable. For as long as you’ve known him, he’s not been good at hiding his irritation or controlling his temper.

Enrico Pucci: He would rather not drag you into his grand plans to achieve Heaven. Trying to convince you to see things his way is simply a waste of time. You’ll thank him later. And you have no personal gripe with the Joestar family, combined with his affection for you…he’s unwilling to bring you into his fight.
Admittedly though, your powerful stand is desirable. If it wouldn’t put you in a near death-like state, he would’ve taken your stand and made good use of it. You would’ve understood once his goals were achieved.
Now if you were to realize what Enrico was trying to do and willingly placed your trust in him and his vision, the story would be different. If you placed your entire faith in him, you’d allow him to even take your stand if he believed he knew someone who could make better use of it than you.
It would only be a last resort, a final desperate measure. Until then, he will avoid bringing the matter up around you. If you both know what has to be done, then there is no need to worry you further by discussing it. But rest assured any harm that befalls you will not be permanent so long as he lives and breathes. And the reward waiting for you at the end of all of this was going to be well worth it.

Funny Valentine: Matching stands…cute…the two of you get SO much work done when you’re both able to bring different versions of yourself to the base world. He has a hard time at first getting used to you having such similar powers to him. Initially he tended to forget which one was the base world you and which ones were your alternate selves. Not a big deal but he still finds it embarrassing. Especially because you have no problem picking him out from a handful of near identical versions of himself, somehow. It bothers him enough that he ended up gifting you a ring and insisting you always wore it…so he could tell you apart from your alternate universe selves.
You notice he starts really getting used to your stand after that, much more relaxed now that he’s not accidentally flirting with the alternate yous.
It kinda annoys you that he makes use of your stand like his own…if he really needs extra help it’s Quite easy for him to just summon another version of himself.
You suspect he just likes bossing you around. You’re considering if it’s worth scolding him about his behavior…or if you should just start bossing around his alternate universe forms in retaliation.

Chapter Text

Johnny Joestar: He hadn’t really considered himself the settling down sort at the height of his popularity. He liked you plenty, sure, but he had so many other people to share his attention amongst that he didn’t even think about something like marriage.
Then he got shot. His life got flipped upside down. Everybody left him. Everybody. Except for you.

Makes a man really reflect.

He gave it some time, to see if you were actually serious about sticking around. And you’re understanding, how could you blame him for having some trust issues after what he went through?
When he does propose, it’s about a year and a half after the incident. His proposal is private, sincere, and a little bit awkward. He’s pretty blunt about how he never really thought about marriage until recently. And that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. But he got you a ring, and he promises to love you and try to make you happy. Even if he doesn’t have anything to give you beyond his affection right now, and he was probably at the lowest he would ever be in his life, you could still feel that smoldering determination burning quietly in his heart as he promised to make you happy.

The wedding is small, simple, and very private. He doesn’t even reach out to his parents to inform them he’s getting married. He hasn’t spoken to them since his bad fight with his dad. And he believed they wouldn’t want to hear from him, even with exciting news. Johnny Joestar, getting married…would’ve been in the newspapers if he was still a jockey. You didn’t mean to do anything behind his back but…you did send a letter informing his parents of his marriage, though you did not send an actual invitation to them. And you never heard back, anyways.
Instead his marriage ceremony occurred in a sleepy courthouse, with only a few of your relatives there to witness your wedding. They tried to be happy for you, but…they simply don’t care about him. And they don’t know what you see in him either. He’s quiet, sarcastic, keeps to himself…but you insisted…
Welcome to the family, Johnny.
Neither of you have any interest in communicating with your families now that you’re married, and you keep to yourselves and live a pretty private life for the most part.
At least until the Steel Ball Run began.

Gyro Zeppeli: He’s a noble man at heart, well-intentioned and sweet…but he also very much enjoys his freedom and status as a bachelor. He will Really have to warm up to the idea of getting married, even if he likes you more than he’s ever liked another person before in his life.
Getting married will have to be his idea. And if he somehow does end up wanting to get married to you, he’ll be bringing you back to Europe with him. You meet his family before the wedding, to get his dad’s approval. And you’re a bit surprised at how…stoic…his family is, in sharp contrast to him.
But Gyro is insistent that his dad likes you, and that everything would work out for the two of you.
He isn’t Crazy about it, but the wedding is private, mostly just family due to the secrecy of his family business. And Very formal. You learned his family history before you agreed to marry him. And still it didn’t feel real, even when you finally saw him use his more serious disposition on your wedding day. You kept waiting for him to crack a joke or complain about his suit or even start a petty argument over something small but…no. The ceremony was serious all the way through. You only felt yourself relax once it was over, because he dropped that severe demeanor as soon as the two of you were alone.
Even if he’s not all about the stuffy and serious traditions in his family, he’s still rightfully proud of his ancestry, and eager to bring you into the Zeppeli family as well. And he makes embracing a family life very different from what you’re used to surprisingly easily, and you quickly realize how much you actually appreciate how easygoing and relaxed he is.
When you first met him you thought he was reckless and overconfident, even with the talents he had to back it up.
But now you’re grateful for that personality of his. Truly you know no place safer than by his side, even if you think he should ease up on the attitude sometimes.

Diego Brando: He makes a bit of a spectacle of his proposal to you, since you’re a potential spouse he intends to actually let live for a while, and a public proposal is a genius tactical play to ensure a yes. Especially when your family that simply adored him was there. With them all cheering you on to say yes, and his confidence and charisma dulling your common sense for a moment, you agree all too quickly.
Diego wants his second marriage to be a much grander affair than his quiet, controversial first matrimony. A large, beautiful wedding…funded by the fortune he inherited from his deceased first wife…it doesn’t bother his conscience at all. Besides, you benefit from it too, so he encourages you to not even think about it.
He’s not too particular about the details, as long as everything is expensive. It can be tasteless and tacky but as long as the decorum and venue make him feel rich, he doesn’t care how it looks. You wish he’d take more initiative in actually planning the wedding given how flashy the proposal was, but he’s not interested in doing so, and there was no way you could make that stubborn man change his mind.
So you did most of the planning on your own, with him occasionally offering his input on the aspects that actually interested him.
The reception lasted well into the night, and Diego thoroughly enjoyed being the center of all those congratulations and tears of heartbroken fans now that he was officially taken.
You’re glad he enjoyed himself, and you do love him but…you can’t help but worry about what you’ve just gotten yourself into.

Chapter Text

Various jjba: How many children do they want to have?

Straizo: Maybe at one point when he was a younger man he would’ve had an interest in more children beyond Elizabeth, but as she grew up, he found himself feeling older too. Even with the decelerated aging effects from his mastery over hamon, being referred to as “dad” or “father” reminds him of his fear of the inevitable march of time. So he’s not much interested in raising anymore children with you beyond his adopted daughter. But if he had another one when Elizabeth was still very young, he wouldn’t be opposed. Girl or boy doesn’t matter to him, he would train them in hamon the same as he did Elizabeth.

Prosciutto: He’s not against the idea, even while he’s still an assassin in the Italian mafia. He honestly thinks he’d be a good dad, a little strict, but good. You’re not so sure. What Prosciutto thinks is “tough love” tends to lean into “unnecessary cruelty” in your opinion. And the opinions of his squad mates. Thankfully even a stubborn guy like him won’t push the subject too much if you point out that having a kid while your financial situation is so unstable and his lifestyle is so dangerous might not be the best idea right now. Can’t really argue with that.
He won’t forget about it though. Whether your financial situation changes or he switches to something even slightly less dangerous in the mafia he’ll be bringing it up again.
He thinks he wants a boy. Just one. Maybe another one after his first is a bit older.

Abbacchio: No, he can’t imagine him having kids anytime soon. He’s no role model, he lacks patience with himself and other people, and with his disposition…he doesn’t think he’d be a father his future kid would be proud of. He can’t handle that kind of shame.
So please, don’t bring it up to him. At least not right now. Not while he’s living this dangerous lifestyle and always moving from place to place. And not mentally prepared for something like that. Maybe when he’s a bit older and things have calmed down (even then, probably not) but right now he knows he’s not ready for something like that.

Gyro Zeppeli: Given he’s the eldest, and from a rather large family, he’s always been used to being around kids, even though he hasn’t really given raising some of his own much thought. Just kinda felt like something he’d worry about when it was time. He imagined if he did have kids though, it’d be a few, at least three, but probably more. And he’d want all boys. Despite his seemingly wild nature, he had been a dutiful son back in the day, even if he may have goofed around behind his father’s back on occasion. As much as he respected his father, he wouldn’t want to raise his kids in that exact way, wishing instead to be a bit more empathetic, and with less of a black and white worldview.

Chapter Text

Kars: Most humans would wisely like to avoid being touched by him, given how dangerous Pillar Men are even to get near, let alone come into physical contact with.
Given you’re his partner, he touches you without causing you physical harm. An exceedingly rare occurrence for him to be so gentle with a human, treasure how kindly he grips your chin so he can observe your face or how he effortlessly picks you up and moves you when he wants you to be somewhere specific.
He Thinks he’s being gentle…but he can’t quite gauge the difference between a Pillar Man’s natural strength and a human’s. He doesn’t care if you get a bit shaken up from his touch, but he doesn’t mean to seriously hurt you with his grip. He’ll get frustrated when you express pain due to his touch, because he honestly can’t tell when he’s being too rough.
He calls you fragile and stops touching you for a while, but he really needs to learn to be more gentle!

DIO: Dio is Very comfortable with physical affection with his various partners, including you. You want to touch him? You’re welcome to, wherever you please, so long as you don’t forget your place.
He often has you in his lap in some form or another, whether it’s just your head or your entire body lounging on his thighs. He says it’s a good look for you.
When he kisses you, he puts a hand on the back of your neck. A not so subtle display of who’s in charge in this relationship. He likes that kind of “affection”, often touching you, but rarely in an actual romantic way. Usually he feels more greedy than anything sweet and loving.
You’re only a small piece of Dio’s vast empire of wealth and power and pleasure. He wants your complete devotion and loyalty, but he won’t offer you the same in return, it’s entirely unfair from every angle, and yet you keep coming back to him.
Like he’s entirely under your skin.

Yoshikage Kira: There’s only one place he’s interested in touching you, and he’s not subtle about it.
He wants your hands, and he wants them in a very specific way. Please, don’t touch him in public. It “distracts” him.
Of course he wants you to touch him (only with your hands, of course) but in the privacy of his own home.
It’s hard not to think about it. How your husband doesn’t even seem to notice you beyond your seductive hands. They’re the only thing he looks at, only thing he kisses…sometimes you swear when you’re trying to have a conversation with him at the dinner table he’s only talking to your hands.
The only time you usually get to touch him is right after he gets off work. You place your hands lovingly on his face or chest, he doesn’t talk much in these little moments, but he definitely enjoys himself.
Beyond that you don’t have much of a relationship. But at least he provides for you.

Diavolo: A heavy presence in your room, even when he’s not touching you, you can feel the weight of his gaze. Always watching you, his touch is too harsh, gripping your wrist and dragging you around, or digging his nails into your skin when he holds you. Is he being harsh on purpose? Or does he just not know how to be gentle? You suspect the latter, given how intensely he’s avoided people for the majority of his life.
You’re better off initiating physical affection first with him, but usually it’s not a pleasant experience because he’s almost always on edge. When you trace your fingers along his back or his tattooed arms he flinches and glares at the initial contact if you don’t make your intentions clear, and you can feel how tense his muscles are even from your light touch.
He much prefers just being close, but not touching. It is rare for him to take his attention entirely off of you when you spend time together, but physical interaction is rare unless he wants it.

Enrico Pucci: His touches are guiding and protective, a hand on the back of your shoulder or your arm around his. Physical affection does not mean much to him, but he’s not opposed to it as long as you keep the PDA tame. Though most times he won’t cuddle or cling to you even in private, he’s much more content with existing in the same space over touching. You doing your thing while he does his in the same room.
He much prefers conversation and kind gestures towards each other than any superficial physical affection.
But if it makes you happy he usually won’t refuse you, unless he’s in a foul mood.
While he doesn’t mind you initiating physical affection, he will rarely do so himself unless he consciously makes an effort to consider it. It’s just not something he finds himself thinking about often.

Chapter Text

Diego x reader: Intellectual rivals

Let’s be real. Diego isn’t used to meeting someone who actually rivals him in any area. No one’s quite as talented, quite as clever, quite as intelligent…at least, he rarely recognizes anyone as such.
But for someone as skilled as him, that kind of pride is understandable.
So having someone like you come along and nearly outmaneuvering him…it puts him on edge, initially.
As far as he could tell, you weren’t affiliated with the President, or the Joestar and Zeppeli…so what? You were acting on your own? Seeking out the corpse parts for your own personal goal? Or maybe you didn’t even know about the holy corpse, and were only nosing your way in because you noticed all the excitement around it.
Ugh, it bothers him. He should’ve paid more attention to you at the start of the Steel Ball Run…he noticed you but hadn’t thought anything of you at the time…and now he had to compete with you without much information to go off of. Usually his specialty but…you weren’t easily giving away any hints about yourself. Not even accidentally.
Not only did you know your own weak points…you knew how to keep them hidden from him.
It’s kinda funny, really.
Diego was smart.
But so were you.
You noticed his eyes on you at checkpoints. Subtly, and only briefly, but that intelligent gaze burned with a frustration you could feel. He was turning you over and over in his mind, almost like you were a puzzle box that could be solved by methodical observation.
Let him look all he wanted for a chink in your armor, you wouldn’t make it so easy for him.
Your battles with Diego are often wordless. A smug smirk when one of you overtakes the other at the start of a leg, visibly sizing each other up in brief moments of respite…it’s a game to him at first but…he Really hates to lose.
It pisses him off enough that he decides to get a bit closer.
Diego is self-reliant, speaking with the confidence of an indomitable god, and the arrogance to match. Even after all the irritation you’ve been causing him with your own intelligence, you can tell he still feels like he’s better than you.
You don’t take it personal.
He thinks he’s better than everyone. The disdain he has for you extends to the rest of humanity, too.
You can chase each other til you’re both exhausted, but you will never lose to him.
Sure you might never catch him entirely unaware either but…this is very much a first for him.
And it’s kinda fun to watch him lose that veil of calculated cool-headedness he so often hides his true, uglier feelings behind.
He has decided too long ago for you to change his mind that humanity wasn’t entirely beyond redemption. And yeah, you may have been well beyond the average pigeon of society, but he won’t make some sort of exception for you.
He’s at the point that he has no choice but to get even closer to you…and while he might say you’d better not get too comfortable around him lest he finally find your weakness…the more time you spend together the more he seems to lose his desire to finally best you in front of the entire world.
Maybe he’s just slowly accepting he cannot beat you in a battle of wits.
You have a stronger suspicion that he’s still waiting, observing you, biding his time to prove he’s better than you.
Even when he’s sitting with you and seemingly talking about nothing in particular with his hands holding you gently, you both know the moments of peace spent together won’t last.
You were still rivals. Rivals don’t willingly drop their guards around each other.
Still. This complicated relationship is starting to wear on you. Diego won’t give you anything serious. But he’s not gonna just leave you alone unless there’s no more point in trying to best you.
But if you decide at this point to admit he has you beat as a tactician without a fight, he will never accept that as a victory.
Then again…maybe that would be the best way to get back at him for worming his way into your heart like he did. That was too far. Playing with each other’s emotions on that level…just for some superficial “victory”…it just wasn’t worth it anymore.
Against Diego, the only winning move was not to play.
As you suspected, Diego doesn’t take your sudden resignation from the race very well.
But he definitely won’t show you’ve caught him by surprise by chasing you down to demand an explanation.
Neither of you really felt any real sense of victory after your brief encounter during the Steel Ball Run. He won’t forgive you easily for your “cowardice”, as he would call it. And you won’t forgive him for wasting so much of your time.

Chapter Text

Dr. Ferdinand: Dr. Ferdinand had a reputation in the earth science community for being eccentric and extreme, so when whispers got around that he was getting married there was some hope that married life might calm him down a bit. He’s an intelligent and talented scientist underneath his difficult demeanor, so if he were just a bit more reasonable then maybe he’d actually get in with a good university as a professor or something. His research could be groundbreaking.
His marriage decidedly did NOT temper his more extreme personality traits. You’re just like him! How did he even find someone who gets equally offended on the earth’s behalf over every tiny indiscretion?? If anything, you might make each other a bit more intense.
You’re also a scientist, a passionate one at that, and the two of you LOVE to talk to each other about earth science. Anyone who accidentally eavesdrops on the two of you will probably have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s a bit of a funny sight, you sitting on his lap, very in each other’s personal space while you romantically twirl a lock of his hair around your finger but you’re just yapping about how obsidian is made and he’s yapping about why the dinosaurs went extinct.
Anyone who knew him before can tell he is super happy to be with you, his whole demeanor is a bit sunny when you’re around, and he’s completely devoted to you, only really interested in talking to you.
So the two of you become more elusive in the science community, only making appearances together and only taking an interest in each other’s research.
At least he’s extremely happy with you, even if the two of you are difficult to communicate with and have a tendency to fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. The two of you once yelled at someone for five minutes straight after they accidentally dropped something on the ground.

Ringo Roadagain: You’ve accepted long ago that Ringo intends to go somewhere you can’t follow. And with your clear acceptance that Ringo’s end goal is only a fair duel to the death, he lets you into his life eventually.
You and Ringo live a simple life. While he’s calm and composed in all aspects of his life, he’s mostly dedicated to dueling, improving, achieving that vague idea of a “real man” he’s so assured in. You practice too, for your own purposes. Something a little more tangible in your opinion, a couple of talents that’ll keep you alive and help you hold a steady job once Ringo finally bites the dust.
Much like the nature of his stand, the reach of your relationship could only go so far.
You are partners, in the sense that you keep each other company in your otherwise rather isolated lifestyle. He doesn’t talk much with you, at least, not small talk. You know him on a deeper level than anyone else does, so most conversation topics are meaningless between you.
You have no future together. So instead you simply appreciate each day you have with him, one at a time. He’s not affectionate or doting with you; his initial draw to you was your independence, and he does not open up much about his past or anything like that to you often. Not that he needs to. And honestly you don’t want to know. You stick with him for now because otherwise you’d be lonely. Getting too emotionally involved was only gonna hurt you more by the end of this short, tragic tale.

Blackmore: The two of you have a strictly professional relationship on the outside, two of Valentine’s most dutiful bodyguards, following him around like loyal dogs…
While Blackmore was the strategist, with a meek manner of speaking, content to stay out of the spotlight; you were the warrior, with a fiery and bold personality, always the first to use your stand to threaten and fight in sharp contrast to Blackmore’s more reconnaissance style stand. A deadly assassin duo. And while you could work well together professionally, when you were off the job anyone would think the two of you would avoid each other. You actually get along quite well, even if it seems like you boss him around and talk over him.
It’s just the nature of your relationship. You’re the more dominant one; he’s content to let you take the lead when you’re not working, he doesn’t care much for small talk, and he doesn’t mind letting you make a bunch of the small decisions for the two of you. You often tell him he needs to not apologize so much and speak up for himself more. He apologizes to you and says he’ll do so…next time. Ugh. He really does make it look like you’re a bully, even though it’s completely unintentional on his part. Ah well. It’s not like anyone even knows the two of you are much more acquainted beyond coworkers, let alone lovers.
Actually, now that you think about it…even Funny Valentine himself doesn’t know. You imagine he’d be quite surprised given how he also occasionally muses out loud about how entirely opposite his personal bodyguards are.

Magenta Magenta: You were the darling sweetheart waiting for him back home that he occasionally bragged about that obviously no one really believed him on. Magenta? Had someone waiting on him? Yeah right.
That is, until you actually showed up to see him before him and Wekapipo headed out to intercept Johnny and Gyro.
Even at the sight of you clinging excitedly to Magenta and kissing his face all over, it was Still hard to believe you were actually here for that man.
You really adore Magenta Magenta! He’s so funny, and he has such interesting things to say! Everyone else you’ve dated before has been so uptight…but not Magenta. He actually made you smile, lowered your guard, and he was FUN. He said after this job, he’d have enough to buy you a ring and finally get hitched. And of course you didn’t want to interrupt his super important job for the President, but you just missed him so much!
It’s kinda obvious Magenta likes you because you’re hot and super down bad for him, but he’s honestly pretty sweet on you; always getting you what you want and hyping you up and holding your hand whenever he can.
He’s honestly not so sure about actually marrying you though…that’s…kinda a big commitment. Too bad he can’t help but say whatever will put a big smile on your face…he’s kinda obsessed with making you feel happy with him.
He’s not actually ready to settle down, so he was kinda hoping you’d forget about that little comment…oh well…the President would pay him handsomely for his work, hopefully he could buy you a whole bunch of stuff that would distract you from that stupid promise. You’re both good at spoiling each other, but your relationship hasn’t really gone anywhere since you started dating a couple years ago. Much to your disappointment.

Wekapipo: He’s serious, here to do a job, get his reward, and nothing more. Messing around behind closed doors with a secretary in the White House wasn’t a part of his plan. And yet here he was, leaving a small bouquet on your desk in-between his assignments, lingering around the places you’d frequent, hoping to catch a glimpse of you, maybe a chaste kiss as long as it was in secret.
He wasn’t supposed to have anything to do with you, tried to keep his distance, focus on his work…but when you heard about his intention to stay in America, you had brightened up, took his hands in yours, and sincerely expressed how happy you were that you would still be able to see him once his work was done.
So sweet. You were comfortable. Peaceful. And oddly insistent about following him around. Though he may seem like a man who’d prefer a low-maintenance partner, he doesn’t mind doting on you a bit. But only to a certain point. He’s protective by nature, but has no intention of entirely coddling you. He needs to be able to trust you before he actually opens his heart to you.
At one point it had seemed like a stupid, foolish idea, asking you to come live with him once he’s gotten what he wanted from Valentine.
But your gaze often lingers on him, and a bitter look crosses your face when you talk about what will happen when the SBR is over.
You realized you wouldn’t be seeing him nearly as often as you had hoped, even though he’d be staying in the states, given the nature of your job.
But he’ll be set for life once he’s fulfilled his end of the deal. It would be easy for him to take you with him. Too bad he’s terrible at actually talking about his feelings. Even though you’ve been in an unofficial relationship for some time now, he’ll struggle to discuss what the two of you actually are, and what he wants with you.
If you want to go with him, you will have to say something first.

Axl RO: You’ve known him for a long time, being the only person he ever really talks to after his great sin. He won’t talk about it, even to you. You already know he’s made a terrible, unforgivable mistake that will haunt him for the rest of his life.
Once when he was young he said he would become a musician. You’d travel around, and he’d get rich doing what he loved, and life would’ve been good for the two of you.
You were newly married when he was enlisted into the army.
He came back different.
Didn’t talk to you, didn’t look at you either. You worried he was going to drink himself to death at a young age.
He only ever confessed to you once, when the voices from his newly manifested stand got too loud to bear on his own anymore.
As he expected, it disturbed you to hear what he had done.
He thought you would leave. Instead, you quietly thanked him for telling you, and said you’d feel more comfortable spending the night away from him. You just needed some time to think.
Neither of you talk about it. That guilt haunting him every single day was probably a heavy enough of a punishment. That wasn’t something you could forgive, but you didn’t need to remind him of that.
You live a much quieter, idle life than you had once dreamed of when you and Axl were young. Despite everything, he’s still someone you’re comfortable around, somehow. And, well…you can’t bring yourself to leave him alone. You’ve been together long enough now that you can’t imagine a life without him.
He doesn’t sleep well. Usually doesn’t sleep at all, if he can help it. When he does, he has terrible nightmares.
He doesn’t like to talk about it, and he won’t say anything but…he does appreciate when you try to stay up with him when he can’t sleep.

-

Chapter Text

Bruno Bucciarati: He knows you worry about him, but it’s for your own safety that he often keeps his distance from you. So letters are a good way to communicate with you while keeping the nature of your relationship secret from prying eyes. He prefers to deliver them in person, avoiding lingering around you for too long, your interactions looking nothing more like he was just acting on his compassionate nature and making sure you were doing okay. The blank envelope he slips into your hand seems like nothing more than a bit of money to help with your bills, given how short your interaction was.
Really it’s a letter written to soothe your peace of mind. He tends to omit certain details when informing you on how he is doing. The intent is never to deceive you, but he doesn’t want you to worry even more than you already do for him.
His letters are brief, but sweet. Even though he tries to stay focused on just reassuring you everything is alright with him, he can’t deny writing letters to you reminds him of how much he misses you and wishes he could spend more time with you. This sentiment often appears in his letters to you, mentioning things he wishes to do with you and places he wants to take you.

Diavolo: A mysterious plain white envelope appears on your countertop every once in a while. No address, no signature, the paper inside always typed.
But you know who’s writing them.
No matter what you’ve never been able to figure out how he’s getting the envelopes in your house. And within a few days, the letter always disappears, most certainly burnt into a pile of ashes by his own doing. Diavolo’s love is just as undetectable as he is. His typed letters usually only serve to inform you he’s still alive and in a relationship with you after months of total silence. They serve as a warning that he’s going to be showing up whenever he feels like it again, so don’t have any guests over ever, unless you don’t mind them dying.
He doesn’t ever type anything romantic to you in his letters. The most you’ll get from him is a new set of instructions, such as ordering you to move to a new place. You can feel every ounce of his overbearing personality even in his written words. He thinks you’ll ruin everything if you don’t go along with every decision he made for you. And at this point, you’re in much too deep. Soon there won’t be a need for letters, because he intends to keep you by his side 24/7 soon.

Diego Brando: He’s busy building his career, constantly going and rarely having a moment to slow down, so he doesn’t send you letters often. But when he does, they’re grand.
Even the envelopes he uses are fancy…carefully packaged inside are a few papers with a unique, large cursive. Undeniably Diego’s handwriting. He writes quite a few pages in the few times a year he decides he wants to send you a letter. Always about him and his recent accomplishments, usually with accompanying photographs or newspaper clippings. They’re always a delight to read. You store his letters carefully. He’s expected you to take care of them, and he once told you that he’ll need them someday for his autobiography, so you’d best make sure they’re secure.
He sends gifts too. Gaudy, expensive presents…pricy brooches, rare flowers…anything with a large price tag that flaunted his wealth to you. Usually nothing you even want, but you know to wear any accessories he might’ve bought you when he makes the time to visit you. It puts him in a good mood. And he’ll write to you more often. He typically doesn’t mention it if you write to him. He will write to you only on his own time.

Rai Mamezuku: He loves his solitude, even at the cost of his relationship with you. You’ve gotten used to it now. It’s nothing personal. He’s just most comfortable alone. You’ve learned it doesn’t mean he hates you. But sometimes you have to wonder if he feels any bare minimum affection for you at all.
He will literally go months without calling. You’ll have to call him first, but he rarely answers. When he does he tells you he prefers a text message. You would….but he’s way too dry a texter to get anything out of that! On your last frustrated call with him you asked that he at Least sent a letter or something if he really wanted to stay isolated most of the year that badly. At least let you know he’s still alive, sheesh-
Well okay.
If that’s what you want.
He sends you a single, plain white envelope twice a year during the warm months when the two of you are apart. Not even a full page. Nothing more than “I’m fine.” and whatever he’s been up to, usually nothing interesting.
He doesn’t get why you’re Still upset at him. Didn’t he do what you wanted? Why are you still annoyed?
You tell him to just forget it. But you’re definitely hoping for better from him…so he continues writing you letters, still composed of curt, dry sentences…but you can tell he’s trying to write in a nicer tone for you.
And he even sends you a small basket of strawberries with his letter. He’s been putting more effort into his letters to you, and in return you’ve been much happier with him, writing back to him with hearts scribbled in the margins of your stationery.
You know not to ever expect something like sweet poetry or scented letters from him, or even much of his time, but you’re glad he’s putting in the effort to make you happy.
He must care about you if he’s willing to do that.

Chapter Text

Reader’s stand: Strangers in the Night. Although it has no practical combat benefits, Strangers in the Night is an especially desirable stand to Passione’s Boss. Every night, without fail, from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m. any memory or evidence of the user’s presence will be entirely erased from the world. Even photographs and videos of the user taken during this time will mysterious vanish once 2 a.m. occurs like they were never taken at all. The user can share the effects of this stand consciously with one other person, though they will have to stay in close proximity to the user.

-

It was illogical, completely contradictory for some grand plan aimed at “complete anonymity” to willingly let himself be known even minutely by you. It was so ingrained in his mind, so ingrained he believed it himself that he was just being a fool and having a momentary lapse in judgement by allowing you to wander close; but regardless of how many shadows he bathed in and evidence he burned and lives he took and ruined all over an unintentional glance at his visage he wasn’t a truly blank slate, and he never would be.

“Diavolo” was a fitting moniker for him. From all outside perspectives, he was about the closest thing a man could be to the Devil. Coming into direct contact him would almost certainly result in death, there was not an ounce of empathy in his entire being for anyone; selfish, arrogant, wrathful, using his own paranoia as justification for excessively harsh brutality. Every member of his once carefully crafted mafia was nothing more than a pawn, a meat shield, a weapon to toss at whoever got in his way. He’d constructed his own soldiers’ bodies into a throne, and mouths that tried to bite his hand were quickly defanged, often never opening again. It didn’t matter if he was hurting his own adjutants, the slightest bit of defiance was met with a swift punishment; that’s how a King should rule, in his eyes.

But he was no True Devil. What kind of embodiment of pure evil would step in his own plan over and over again, holding himself back ever so slightly, just over something pathetic? For one simple, stupid, painfully human reason; the smallest sliver of evidence that he wasn’t just a demon, but a weak and pathetic human man as well: his own loneliness.

Oh how he hates it. It’s so illogical, so contradictory. A willing step backwards, for what gain?! A companion to talk to, a pretty face to look at, a warm body next to his in bed? What a disgustingly human thing for him to yearn for, and no matter how he pressed it down and down he will inevitably find himself picking up the phone again and sending you a set of instructions through an untraceable signal from a new number and alias. Always so complicated and specific. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going, make sure you’re not followed, leave exactly an hour after Strangers in the Night activates, do not arrive early under any circumstances, make sure you’re inside for the rest of the night an hour before Strangers in the Night concludes. There are to be no unnecessary risks, no deviations from his carefully crafted schedule for you, or he will put you down immediately and eradicate your entire existence from the planet.

All that effort, just for a date night.

You’ve been doing this cautious little dance with him on and off for the past two years now. Long enough to know what sort of conversation he’d indulge and what he’d immediately shut down when you tried to talk to him in your secluded little corner booth in a restaurant you definitely couldn’t have afforded if a literal mafia boss wasn’t your date.
It didn’t matter, given the nature of your stand would guarantee the protection of his identity. But by pure instinct he remained cautious and private…maybe it was your imagination but you swore even the way his pink bangs framed his face intentionally concealed his eyes a bit. Yet he wore such expensive lipstick. What for if no one was allowed to look at him? Just to flex his wealth to anyone who did manage to catch a glimpse of him? You don’t want to ask.
Such a frustrating man of many contradictions, calling you here for your company but then detesting most of your conversation topics.
He refused to answer what he’s been up to lately, asking about where he’s been staying or traveling to next will result in a hard glare…never have you met someone who hated talking about themselves THIS much…and yet he always stares at you so expectantly, waiting for you to come up with a topic he actually has something to say about.
If you had literally any other stand…anything, or even none at all, he would’ve been content to dismiss you as useless and insignificant. He never would’ve revealed himself to you…you could be properly living your life as a normal person…but no. You just HAD to have this stupid, awful stand that just so happened to greatly intrigue the mafia. And now anytime the boss of Passione demanded your attention you had to drop everything and go to him. You can’t defy the mafia. He’s made a point of showing what would happen if you decided you weren’t going to obey him.

“It’s a beautiful night,” you say half-heartedly, once you’ve given up on thinking of any mildly interesting topic that wouldn’t immediately irritate him.

He exhales through his nose, bringing his glass of wine to his lips. You wonder how you managed to irk him with just that.

Oh…

“I wouldn’t know,” is all he says, clearly dismissing this topic for conversation.
Right.
He wouldn’t know.
Doppio was the one who came here, waiting for you in a suit visibly too large for him. And the table that he reserved for you (according to his boss’s specifications) was a booth, in the corner, without so much as a window near it. A habit. Even with the knowledge that Strangers in the Night protected his identity from a passerby glimpsing his side profile through a window, he wasn’t going to flaunt his face willingly.
Diavolo had not seen the night due to how the evening had played out, but he’s never been one to stop and observe a beautiful evening just for the sake of it anyways.

Hatred always seemed like a very strong word to you. To hate someone…how badly did someone have to hurt you for you to Really hate them? You thought you had already felt hatred for another human being before, when your feelings were severely hurt, or you were left behind or betrayed by someone supposed to be your friend…but ever since you’ve started meeting face to face with Diavolo, you’ve learned.
You don’t know hatred.
This man radiates it in droves. Pure, obsessive, all-consuming hatred. It permeated his very skin. It drove him to punish and kill without an ounce of hesitation. He hated so much, everyone was an enemy, anyone that wasn’t himself was a threat, and that extended even to you, a person who’s never done a Thing to personally offend him. An innocent person wrapped up in a spider’s web of his own creation. He was the one who dragged you to this point, threatened you into submission, forces you out on these stupid and pointless dates, and you had done EVERYTHING he said to his exact specifications, obeyed easily because you didn’t want him to hurt any other innocent people, and yet…
He had a special type of hatred for you. Beyond his usual hatred for anything with eyes and a mouth. Because just as much as you were a boon to him you were a bane. A mirror that showed him his own weakness so plainly it disgusted him. As much as he hated you, he wanted you. This shallow lust was like a deep affection for a man like him, the closest thing he could feel to love. He had only felt this once before, and he remembered how it only led to a mess for him to clean up. So why was he letting it happen all over again? Has he always been such a desperate, pathetic fool?
Could he really say the extra precautions he took with you meant anything when fundamentally he’s still repeating a past mistake?
He had done Extensive research on you before he had actually committed to entangling your life in Passione. Almost no family, just a father you’re not on speaking terms with. A few friends who might look for you, and you just recently had a tough breakup with the only boyfriend you’ve ever had…but the power of your stand was too good to pass up. At most he’d have a few citizens contacting the police to report you missing.
A low risk for a very high reward. One even the ever cautious boss of Passione was willing to take.
He met you as Doppio while you were out running errands. The strength of your heartache and the loneliness of disappearing from everyone’s memory every single night made you all too easily won over by compliments and pretty words.
Combine that with him sharing an interesting story with you a little after your friendship progressed about how he has unusual powers, the ability to see the future. It’s always made him different from others, if that makes sense? Do you ever get a feeling like that?
You replay your time with Doppio over and over again. Was there a way out of it if you had known? Anything you could’ve said or done to get away? At the very least you wished you hadn’t played so easily into Diavolo’s hand; you had practically sprinted right into his trap. It makes you sick. The only piece of Diavolo you have ever witnessed that you could actually even remotely relate to: you were both weak to your own loneliness.
It didn’t take you long to open up to him about your own mysterious ability. Though you said you considered it more of a curse.
Doppio had smiled after you explained it, balancing his chin on his hands as he seemed to consider the plus sides of such an interesting stand.
“Ah, but imagine all the fun you could have if nobody remembers it in the morning,” he suggested.
“Like…the crime type of fun?”
He shook his head vigorously, like it was an absurd thought and he’s shocked that’s where your mind immediately went. “No, not like crime! Like things you’re too embarrassed for other people to remember.”
“Ahhh, like karaoke when I’m drunk.”
He huffs at your unwillingness to see the good of your stand, but shrugs it off. It’s not like making you feel any particular way about your stand was part of his orders.

-
Doppio knows how to present himself as someone easy to trust. Only a few months after knowing him, you began inviting him over to your house. A bit of an isolated place, you said you had been renting it for a while. Doppio makes a mental note that there will be a landlord who might search for you.
A few days after that, your ex-boyfriend started calling you again, telling you things like how he regretted the way things ended up between you, and how he missed you and wanted to talk to you again. You were conflicted, not quite ready to talk about it yet.
He hadn’t mentioned anything about coming to see you. Because your ex was a rather dramatic romantic, thinking showing up in the middle of the night unannounced was somehow better than asking to meet you somewhere public where you’d feel more comfortable talking to him.
And because you didn’t know, you had invited Doppio over. He was a little on edge tonight, much more so than usual. It was almost time for the plan to be enacted. The boss of Passione has decided that you were worth it. Silencing a landlord was easy, and all that recon spent on you led to the conclusion that your “friends” weren’t too concerned with you. He doubted they would even report your disappearance, but it wouldn’t be hard to get to them before they even noticed you were gone. He’s already been through your phone, memorizing every name in your contacts. He knew Doppio wouldn’t disappoint him, getting you comfortable enough with him that you didn’t worry about setting your phone down next to him and then occupying yourself with something else.
Your ex-boyfriend was slightly more of an unpredictable piece in this game. But from the way you talked about him, Diavolo didn’t think he would be much of a problem.
Even if he started poking around looking for you it wouldn’t be a problem.
But showing up entirely unannounced at your door while Doppio was at your house?
He really hated having to improvise, but he had already decided he wanted you, and he wasn’t about to trip right before the finish line.
You and Doppio both jumped at the knocking on your door so late at night.
“Who the hell is that?” Doppio asked, an uncharacteristic amount of discomfort and stress in his voice.
When you get to the door, you sigh, letting out an irritated “oh no,”when you see who it is. “My ex.”
“What?!”
“It’s fine, I’ll just tell him to leave.”
Why was Doppio SO on edge tonight? He had already stood up and was currently racing over to the door, his eyebrows furrowed in an intense stress that didn’t suit his usual demeanor.
“Don’t open that door!”
“What’s WITH you? It’s not a big deal, I’ll just shoo him away.”
Your hand is already on the doorknob, confused about why all the guys around you were suddenly acting so weird, but you’re not alarmed enough to really think about Doppio’s sudden demand.
“Hey, I’m serious! Don’t open it! We can just pretend we’re not here…” his boss hated when his plans got interrupted. It would put him in a terrible mood if he had to enact the final part of his plan a few days earlier than he initially planned. Killing your ex right in front of you would make it way more difficult to get you to willingly use your powers for Diavolo’s sake. Trying to force you was gonna be WAY more unpleasant, and undo all the effort he had put in to gaining your trust.