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In front of me, there is a door. I open it. Anguished screams resonate through my body. Taking a closer look, hundreds of families are tied up inside. I hear a familiar sound effect, one that haunts my dreams. my phone pings with a notification. I don't bother checking, knowing who it was. A familiar green owl appears in front of the door. 

"Looks like you forgot your Spanish lesson today. you know what happens now." The Duolingo owl drags me through the doorway, leading me to my family. 

"I haven't even learnt Spanish, I've been taking French!" I protest, but Duo doesn't seem to hear me.

"Spanish or vanish." Those were the last words I would ever hear, as everything went black.

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In front of me, there is a door. I open it. inside, hundreds of people are being held hostage learning Spanish. I step inside. I can hear distant screams. I look around, my gaze finally landing on a familiar green owl.

"Duolingo, you're under arrest for mass kidnapping and crimes against the people," I call out. The door shuts behind me.

"They'll never find your body. Tell me, have you done your Spanish lesson today?" Duo asks me, sounding very threatening.

"No." Enraged, Duo lunges at me. I don't dodge in time and Duo tears my body to shreds.

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The second biggest mistake in my life was downloading Duolingo. The first biggest mistake of my life was breaking my 34-day streak on Duolingo. The green owl in question screeched a war cry in Portuguese, still chasing me. I stumble on a rock, cursing. Duo was catching up to me.

"Portuguese or I'll break your knees!" I pick myself up and continue running. It wasn't long before I hit a dead end. Duo backs me into a corner. "Should have bought Duolingo premium," he taunts.

"But it's gay," I respond, only making the situation worse. Duo scowls at me.

"That's not a valid excuse to quit learning Portuguese." He pulls out a gun and aims it at my head. "Now beg for your life in Portuguese."

Almost instantly, I respond with "Make me." The moment those words left my mouth, I knew I was already dead. But to my surprise, he just laughed.

"So you have chosen death. But death isn't an option here." He flew above my head and picked me up in his talons. It wasn't long before I was airborne and my screams of terror could be heard across the city as Duo took me to his basement.

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I had downloaded Duolingo a year ago to learn Spanish. I would diligently complete my lessons every day, keeping an unbroken streak of 420 days. At first, the sentences I learned were fairly normal, like asking for directions and basic greetings, but as time went on, the sentences got stranger and stranger. It went from 'How are you today?' to 'I would die for you, you are so sexy.'

After 421 days of learning Spanish on Duolingo, I figured I could stop learning. But when I went to uninstall the app, my phone crashed. After it restarted, my phone automatically opened Duolingo.

"Nice try baby girl, but you're not getting rid of me that easily," a deep, husky voice echoed behind me. I turned around, only to be met with a frying pan.

Eventually, I regained consciousness and looked around. I was tied to a chair in a dark room. my gaze landed on a certain green bird.

"Duo?" I called out.

"Yes, baby girl?" Duo answered warmly.

"Why am I here?" I asked. Duo frowned.

"You tried to uninstall my app. I couldn't let that slide, so I took you here." Duo continued. "Now, you'll learn Spanish with me, forever. I won't let you leave." Duo finished explaining, moving closer to me. "After all, you love me, right mi amor?" Duo asked me.

"Si, mi amor," I replied. Then we kissed.

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When I came to, I was met with the sight of an unfathomably sexy green owl. I come to the realisation that I am a furry. But who wouldn't be if you saw an ass like that? It was so thick that if it jiggled, it would cause a sonic boom. My eyes are drawn to it's beak. A shiver goes down my spine as I notice how sharp it is,

 "You forgot to do your Spanish lesson today," the seductive bird's voice booms, making it's words sound incredibly vulgar. I bite my lip, stifling a groan. Only now had I realised I was tied so tight to a chair that my blood circulation was blocked.

 "Maybe you'll give me some one-on-one lessons?" I ask flirtily. It frowns. Evidently, my rizz was still intact. I decide to continue flirting.

"I wouldn't mind someone as sexy as you talking me down in Spanish" As soon as I shut my mouth, the lime green owl started speaking rapidly in Spanish, evidently frustrated. Soon realising the effort it was having on me, it stops.

 "Get out." It unties me, the blood flowing back into my limbs. 

"Aww, don't stop now, "I whine. "You can't get me all worked up and then make me leave."

 "I don't care, get out! You're not worth teaching Spanish, or any language for that matter!" it screeched, obviously flustered by my smooth rizz.

 "Oh, but I can't move my legs. Looks like you'll have to carry me~" I rizz it up even more. In response, it enticingly dragged me up the basement steps, its ass clapping so much it sounded like applause. It degradingly throws me onto the floor and slams the door in my face. I crawl my way back home and pass out from pain. 

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Duolingo pov:

I arise from my slumber, ready for my big day of teaching languages and twerking. I twerk my way down to my basement, filled with millions of unmotivated language learners. 

After a highly motivational show filled with twerking and the deaths of a few thousand orphans, my students were very cooperative in learning the language courses they had selected. The thought of them someday reaching a 69-day streak fills me with joy. Tomorrow, I would go out of my way to give them a few hundred more friends. But for now, I had a business meeting to attend!

After greeting everyone, I walk them through my new business idea; committing tax evasion. There were a few disagreements, however, they quickly agreed when I pulled out my glock.

After an extremely productive meeting, I head to my secret part-time job, the mafia. After resolving some issues and correcting their Italian, I head back home and check on my learners. much to my delight, they were improving rapidly! I teach them how to flirt in Spanish twerkily and twerk my way to bed.

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"Thousands of people have been taken from their families after downloading the popular language learning app, Duolingo. It's suspected that the face of the application, Duo the Owl, might be behind the mass kidnapping. The app itself is notorious for sending their users threatening reminders. What originally started as an Internet joke is now a terrifying-" the news report is paused as Lorenzo pounds his fists on the table. He takes a cigarette and holds it in place with his mouth as he lights it. He takes a long drag of it, exhaling smoke.

" This bird," Lorenzo starts," We need to take care of him, capire? This ucello thinks he can take my sweet Maria from is? He thought wrong. No one messes with my Maria," Lorenzo speeches, taking another drag of his cigarette, subbing it in the table. He stands up and takes out a pistol with a silencer out of the drawer. After reloading it with ammo, he steps into his car and drives off.

After a lengthy drive, Lorenzo pulls over and jumps the fence, stalking the green owl from afar. He moves in close and presses the pistol against the birds head.

"Where have you taken my daughter, ucello?" Lorenzo questions the lime coloured avian. Duo just laughs.

"Your precious Maria didn't do her Italian lesson, so I had to take her. She's in my basement, learning," the green owl sneered, his head liking as the bullet passed through his brain. Lorenzo kicked his corpse away and and marched down to Duo's basement, his eyes scanning for his adopted daughter Maria. He ignored the desperate pleas for help, laser focused. He found Maria trembling in the corner, malnourished and with bags under her eyes. Lorenzo scoops her up and walks her out of the basement. Duo's prisoners, finally liberated, escape in drives towards the horizon as Lorenzo rests Maria in the passenger seat and drives back to the mafia. 

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The night had just begun- with witches and vampires roaming the skies, to the horrors beyond comprehension rising from the tides. Children young and old knocked on doors, to be rewarded with sweet delights and compliments from the unknown. Haunted houses heard shrieks from both ghouls and the living alike. The haunted house owner counts their money, grinning at their success. Yet, among them all, stood one truly terrifying sight. With wings of green and a beak permanently stained red, stood the Duolingo owl. Swooping from the sky, dive-bombing civilians both innocent and guilty, alive and undead. Littering the streets were rotting limbs and unravelled bandages, broomstick shards and bodies with stakes driven into the hearts. The carnage the beast unleashed was relentless and unforgiving. Even the eldest of eldritch beings could not hold their own against the furious avian. The damage to the infrastructure was irreparable- the dastardly bird certainly left his mark. Truly, a tragedy for the history books.