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Chapter Text

The palace in the sky never slept.

Superior to all other forms of life, its inhabitants rested above the clouds, far removed from the mundane and menial souls below.

However, even far removed and superior as they were, they were still bound by the fundamental rules of existence.

And so, when daytime inevitably settled into nighttime, even the palace in the sky was enveloped in peaceful and introspective serenity.

Small but strong-willed footsteps were the only sound that pierced through the windless night.

“Mother, why did you summon me at this hour?”

The sight itself was almost comical.

The young boy, barely reaching his mother’s knees and scowling as though it was an awful inconvenience to get called over by his regal mother, spoke with such seriousness and quiet elegance that one could almost forget he was but a child.

But there was truly nothing comical about young Sesshomaru.

In fact, he was not even just a boy. He was a demon of the most heinous kind.

His still soft features and beauty that was almost akin to that of a girl were only a thin veil for the blind ambition and pride he was so consumed by.

And although Sesshomaru never allowed himself to rest or pause for a moment in his quest for greatness, even he couldn’t deny that the nights in the palace above the clouds brought out a soothing calmness in him.

He resented it.

From her spot on the throne, his mother eyed him without reproach.

“Come join me, Sesshomaru. I wish to show you something,” she said, patting the raised platform next to her seat.

He did not heed her command right away. Instead, he raised his brows suspiciously.

A lesson in the middle of the night perhaps?

He was not opposed to those, and it certainly wasn’t often that he was allowed to join his mother on her throne, but the whole thing still did not resonate with him.

What could he be taught by her when there was no opponent present, when there was no show of strength involved?

Intrigued as he was, Sesshomaru moved to join his mother on the platform.

Rigid with hesitancy, he sat down next to her, but she either seemed to not take note or she didn’t care, because she turned her gaze towards the sky.

His mother remained silent, offering no explanation, and Sesshomaru wondered if she was perhaps simply teasing him.

"Lay your head here," she murmured a moment later and patted her lap while her eyes remained fixed on the heavens.

An uncomfortable flash of embarrassment made Sesshomaru scrunch his nose at her suggestion. He wanted to chastise himself for the way his heartbeat quickened and the strange longing that tingled underneath his skin.

It was a rare occurrence for him to be close to his mother and an even rarer for such affectionate gestures. Dog demons such as they were, were not known for any sentimental displays.

All the better for it. Sentimentality was the breeding ground for weakness. And there was nothing Sesshomaru despised more than weakness.

And yet, he only hesitated for a moment before willingly laying his head on her lap. His silver hair spilled over her legs and his mother even took a moment to adjust him on her lap, before she started raking her clawed fingers through his hair, starting at the crown of his head.

Seated on her lap as he was, Sesshomaru’s eyes immediately followed upward as the sky was now in his full view.

He had to concede, it was nice.

“Now what?” he huffed defiantly. “You called me here to watch the sky?”

Perhaps his mother saw right through his mock outrage, or perhaps she simply didn’t let it affect her again, because she continued to comb through his hair, all while her eyes never left the night sky.

“Don’t you see, Sesshomaru? From up here, we are closer to the stars than any other living being,” she said.

Her words and the gentleness with which she spoke surprised him. Skeptical as he still was, Sesshomaru concentrated on the skies.

She was right of course. From their vantage point above the clouds, the stars appeared bigger and brighter. He saw their distant and mystical twinkling clearly reflected in the night.

But Sesshomaru did not care for it. How was this a valuable lesson?

“Who cares? Stars are just stupid dots,” he grumbled, crossing his small arms over his chest.

Nevertheless, he made no move to leave, still both too comfortable and too intrigued by this whole scenario.

His mother did not look down, but he heard how she tutted gently, sounding even a bit amused by his reluctance.

“These ‘dots’ are pure and raw energy, didn’t you know that?” she asked.

Sesshomaru’s ears perked up at that. He squinted his eyes slightly, to watch the stars closer but to him they appeared unchanged – still bright but immovable, utterly useless.

When he remained silent, his mother continued speaking.

“Even though we see them so clearly now, they are dead already – burned out. They carry the past, present and future with them and yet their only purpose is to be seen by us.”

Sesshomaru frowned.

His mother oftentimes spoke in riddles, and usually, he did not have the time nor the will to decipher them. Mysteries, secrets and enigmas were a poor substitute for a real challenge.

Sesshomaru far preferred the challenges his father made him face – like that one time he was thrown into a pit of demonic snakes, or when he was made to defend himself with no weapon other than his bare hands.

“Why are you telling me this now?” he grumbled.

It was hard to believe that his mother would willingly waste his time like that. Or perhaps it was exactly something his mother would do – waste his time with stupid riddles and half-hearted advice.

Sesshomaru wanted to roll his eyes, but wisely didn’t. Laying on her lap, with her fingers in his hair, he was still utterly at her mercy, after all.

He almost flinched when his mother finally looked down at him. Her gaze was not stern or exasperated, but there was something equally as penetrating. He squirmed uncomfortably under the weight of it.

“Stars burn out because power is useless without purpose, my son,” she revealed. “Underneath their brightness, they are hollow. For all their glory and acclaim, they still fade in the end.”

Sesshomaru stiffened and an irritated scowl soon replaced his tranquil expression.

His mother’s strange attempts at guidance were futile. His own pursuit of power had always been relentless. And he would certainly not stop now.

Sesshomaru’s ambition would lead him to become the greatest creature of all time. His name would instill fear and respect. That was his purpose, his only purpose. He was sure of it.

“I’m not a star in the sky, mother,” he replied dryly, utterly dismissing her lesson.

Once again, something akin to amusement flashed across his mother’s face.

“Aren’t you?” she asked, before nodding at the sky once. “I think there’s one up there that bears an uncanny resemblance to you, Sesshomaru.”

Her poor attempt at humor made Sesshomaru huff indignantly.

“I will never burn out,” he mumbled under his breath.

His mother only gave him a small pat on the head in return. Sesshomaru did not admit how much her dismissive and yet tender gesture soothed him.

There was a part of him that wanted to jump up and return to his own chambers, to dismiss his mother and her strange lecture altogether.

But it was overruled by the comfort he felt, and the slight intrigue that still tugged at him as he gazed back up into the sky.

Although he had called them nothing but ‘stupid dots’ earlier, the stars were still captivating, in their own strange way.

Silence settled between mother and son as Sesshomaru pondered the stars’ tragic journey from the heavens.

One star, in particular, caught his eye. It was exceptionally bright, with a long, iridescent trail following it.

Succumbing to a rare moment of whimsy, Sesshomaru decided that this was the star that represented him, the one his mother had been talking about.

It was just as proud and defiant as him. And the fact that it burned much brighter than the others could only mean it was far superior in strength to the others.

Sesshomaru liked that.

“Mother?” he asked, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?"

"Does my star also carry a sword?"

Chapter Text

“Go ahead, show it to me.”

It was the command he had been waiting for. Sesshomaru wasted no time and began his transformation. 

There was no slow start, his energy instantly began to pulse and thrum within him - a living, ancient instinct clawing to burst out of him, ready to take over. 

It coiled tighter, hot and vicious, right before his bones began to crack and shift. 

But the violent snaps and pops, excruciatingly painful in nature, made Sesshomaru ecstatic. 

The sound of each bone breaking was nauseating, but the primal power that finally and uninhibitedly unleashed itself onto him made him almost dizzy with excitement. 

By sheer will he became monstrous. 

His finely and elegantly chiseled jaw and the still youthful cheeks elongated into a frightful muzzle and his tongue, heavy and rough, rolled out between his parted lips. 

Agony and ecstasy, power and torment - such was the rebirth of his true self. 

His senses shifted too. While the pulse of the world around him dampened underneath his massive paws and colors that were once vivid turned into a mass of gray and brown, his sense of smell and the scents around him intensified, sharpened. 

Slowly, the pain subsided into a heady rush and Sesshomaru snapped his crimson eyes open.

He stood tall and proud on all four legs. He was invincible. 

“Very impressive, I must say,” his father called out from below. 

Sesshomaru’s monstrous eyes zeroed in on him. 

Naturally, he was much larger than his father now, but he also knew that the advantage of his height only occurred because he was in his transformed state and his father was not.

Once the legendary Inu no Taisho transformed into his demonic form, there was no one that could measure up to him. Not even his own son.

Not yet. 

“I can tell you’re enjoying it, Sesshomaru,” his father commented with a knowing look in his eyes.

Unable to speak, Sesshomaru let his huffing and frantic intakes of breath, that resounded loudly through his large lungs, speak for him. 

Of course he enjoyed it. And why wouldn’t he?

As opposed to the quiet and deadly elegance he usually displayed, this form was the complete opposite. 

He was loud and untameable, there was no quiet strength and stealthy force - in his dog demon form, Seshomaru excelled with his brute strength and a pernicious poison that could set entire villages into desolate wastelands. 

Eyes still focused on his father, Sesshomaru saw him tilt his head. 

“What do I always tell you, my son? Strength is only as useful as the strategy that guides it. Come on, show me how you deal with this.”

The sound of a sword being drawn and instantly, the shimmering blade that the Inu no Taisho swiftly pulled out of his sash became Sesshomaru’s sole focus. 

Everything else around him blurred. The blood raced in his veins, hot and vicious again. The instinct that compelled him to act coiled into a spiral of vigor. 

With a snarl, Sesshomaru lunged forward, towards his father. His massive paws rattled the ground beneath him.

But as soon as he snapped forward, his father was gone - vanished with only a small gust of wind in his wake. 

Graceless but violent, Sesshomaru slid to a halt, muscles still taut. He reared his head, frantically looking for his father. But he was nowhere to be seen. 

“Faster, boy!”

His father’s command reverberated through both the woods and his ears but before Sesshomaru could surmount his father’s challenge, something dashed past him and he felt a blade - dull and harmless - striking at his hind legs. 

Sesshomaru turned, anger and frustration boiling within him, but his father was faster, always one step ahead.

Why did he insist on striking him with the useless and harmless Tenseiga?

If this was to be a lesson, then why wouldn’t his father hurt him and teach him the price of negligence?

Although he could not see, he felt the strikes of the blade graze his flanks time and time again, no matter how fast he tried to twist his large body. 

Sesshomaru growled ominously, and when he couldn't bear the humiliation any longer, he summoned a violent gust of wind and turned back into his other form.

Although his father had been chasing a magnificent beast just moments before, he did not seem exhausted or out of breath in the slightest, as he came to stand before his son, whose height now almost reached his chest.

The Inu no Taisho returned his blade into its sash, ignoring the frightening scowl of his adolescent son. 

“Why do you look so glum, Sesshomaru? I thought you’d enjoy that,” he asked nonchalantly. 

Sesshomaru could not believe his ears. 

After proving how utterly inferior Sesshomaru still was to his father, even in his true demonic form, he now insisted on mocking him. 

Why was his father so keen on humiliating him?

“That wasn’t fair,” Sesshomaru replied, though even to his own ears he sounded awfully petulant. 

His father shrugged, still not impressed by his young son’s outrage. 

“Life is not fair,” he said, waving at Sesshomaru to follow him through the woods. 

“You should control your anger better. It’ll only make you lose your focus. Strength is not just force, you know.”

Now much less expressive than when he was in his dog form, Sesshomaru eyed his father with a doubtful but impassive glance.

Why should he control his anger when he was in that form?

It was a storm that ravaged lands and was feared by most, not a mild wind. 

Destruction was the ultimate form of power, and although Sesshomaru did not revert back to his large form often, he knew that it was his ultimate weapon. 

If all else failed - which it never did - he still had the ancient power of his lineage and instinct to protect him. 

“... unless you want to become predictable and be known as the untamable beast.”

“But I do want that, father,” Sesshomaru finally replied.

He stopped walking and turned to face his father. 

Predictability was not a flaw if one possessed strength that could not be rivaled, Sesshomaru was sure of it. 

He wanted his name to precede him, he wanted to be known as the storm that could not be stopped. 

His strength was his greatest asset. Perhaps even the only asset that would make him stand out. 

There would not be a soul left who wouldn't whisper his name in fear. 

The Inu no Taisho furrowed his brows. He no longer spoke with nonchalance as he addressed his son. 

“Sesshomaru, fear is one thing, respect is another entirely. Respect is what instills loyalty. If you only rely on your own strength, others will only see a monster, not a leader.”

Sesshomaru stared back at his father, silently pondering. 

Leading others, as his father did, listening to their demands and wishes and acting with them in mind was utterly repulsive to Sesshomaru.

That was the sole great divide between them. 

His father lived for praise, lived for reverent respect and the acknowledgement of others.

Sesshomaru only lived for his own ambitions - he wanted to prove himself. He did not care to be loved by creatures that didn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as him. 

“You’ve been talking with too many humans, father,” Sesshomaru dismissed his father’s lesson. 

He did not share his father’s curiosity and proclivity for their company, and he surely did not care to hear their measly advice. 

But after he spoke his dismissive reply, Sesshomaru saw something strange dart across his father’s face. His eyes narrowed, not in an angry or exasperated way, but he looked almost… wistful.

The Inu no Taisho sighed.

“Don’t you ever feel lonely, Sesshomaru?”

The question, wholly unwanted and too close for comfort, made his throat constrict.  

He did not understand why his father had become so sentimental all of a sudden.

Sesshomaru knew his destiny. 

The price of the dominance he so desperately wanted was solitude. There had never been a doubt in Sesshomaru’s mind, nor even a need to change that fact. 

It would only be a matter of time until he’d even part ways with his father, either through violence or through loss. 

The pinnacle of power was as narrow as the top of a mountain, no one would stand beside him and no one would share his view. 

Such was the nature of things. 

Unable to bear the strange tension of their silence any longer, Sesshomaru turned abruptly. 

No longer spellbound by his father’s weighty and haunting gaze, the tension between them soon evaporated and they began to walk side by side once more. 

“You know, I still think having some friends might do you good, Sesshomaru,” his father said after a while. The nonchalance returned to his tone. 

Sesshomaru wanted to roll his eyes.

“There are some great clans I could introduce you to. I hear they even have beautiful daughters that would love to meet–”

“Don’t even think about it, father.”

Chapter Text

Sesshomaru didn’t recognize himself.

In eccentricity, he was beginning to rival even his mother these days. His latest undertaking was proof of that. 

And his mother was the most unpredictable individual he knew, which was saying a great deal.

What was he thinking, taking in an orphaned girl like that? A human, at that. 

That same foolish girl who had wanted to help him, who had been so adamant about nursing him back to health, even though her laughable attempts did nothing to actually aid in his recovery. They were entertaining though, he had to concede.

There was nothing quite as grating for Sesshomaru than to sit and do nothing, to simply wait until his body completed its task of healing itself. And truthfully, once the girl stopped pushing dead rats and wilted plants onto him in an effort to feed him, her silent company was not as grating as he had suspected it’d be.

Given how confined and bored he’d been, it was a passable distraction.

In between her curious visits, when she made her way into the woods in a surprisingly stealthy way, he would forget about her.

There were many things to mull over in his mind, the most glaring of which was his recent defeat against his father’s sword, wielded by that–

Best not to sour his mood further by thinking of that insufferable, unworthy cretin of a half-brother.

In any case, the little girl always came at the same time of day, twice a day. And even if he couldn’t say he exactly anticipated her arrival, it was a routine among the unpredictability of recent events.

Had he become a creature of habit? Sesshomaru did not think himself as such, but life had the tendency to become rather repetitive after a while, monotonous even.

And although he was still a young demon, having not yet even reached his prime, he saw the same things, over and over again – people doing the same mistakes, falling for the same tricks and follies.

But his own little predictable routine ended as quickly as it had begun, for only some days later, the girl didn’t come to him anymore.

By that point in time, he was ready to be on his way, his body had recovered, even if not fully, then at least in a capacity that allowed him to be on his way and put this shameful defeat behind him.

But then–

He was watching her now, while she slept.

Curled up against his dragon, she looked every bit as unassuming and frail as he had first seen her. But she was alive. The steady rise and fall of her rabbit-narrow chest was proof of that. The color in her face was proof of that. The way her fingers twitched in her sleep was proof of that.

Even though the last time he had seen her, she had been dead.

Sesshomaru stepped closer. Even on a moonless night, he knew not even his own shadow could be concealed. As an anomaly of nature, a beast beyond mortal comprehension, he could never truly hide, did not ever want to hide.

But still, at least the darkness of his surroundings ensured that the girl was asleep, blissfully unaware as he hovered over her, driven by a curiosity he had long ceased to question.

After all, his own curiosities were never a point of contention for Sesshomaru.

His eyes briefly shifted to the two-headed dragon right behind her, offering its body as a no doubt uncomfortable pillow for her sleep. Silly thing that it was, the two-headed creature his father had once gifted him as a boy immediately took a liking to the girl. It only took one shy glance and one of her crooked smiles before they all but ate out of her hand.

But then again… had he not done the same thing?

He swallowed down the indignation that rose as hot and sour as bile in his throat.

His eyes inevitably settled on the sleeping girl again. She was shivering. That tattered little rag she wore did nothing to shield her from the cold, it seemed.

He ought to get her something proper to wear. After all, he had once even deemed fit to give Jaken something valuable, the staff of two-heads, upon his first arrival. And his dragon would need to get a proper harness, possibly even a saddle, so the girl could rest on it.

Sesshomaru almost physically recoiled as he caught himself mid-thought.

Why on earth was he concerned about her comfort to such an extend?

He narrowed his eyes at her.

Perhaps he should’ve ended it right here.

It would be easy to rid himself of her now. She was utterly defenseless, so docile and trusting in the presence of demons. And it would be quick too.

He wouldn’t even have to draw any blood. Just one hand around her throat, barely any pressure and–

Impossible.

A flood of revulsion overcame Sesshomaru so violently, he had to shut his eyes and steady his breathing in order not to keel over and retch at the thought.

Cruelty was not beyond him. He was capable of unspeakable acts of carnage – unspeakable for some. Sesshomaru himself had no issue naming all the gruesome ways to establish dominance.

But why would he want to dominate someone so defenseless, someone so yielding and… sweet?

There was no pleasure to be driven from an act such as that. The girl hadn’t wronged him, even though her initial overzealousness had caught him off guard.

Still, he held no personal vendetta against her.

Sesshomaru stayed his hand. He would show her the same mercy she had shown him. After all, she had not alerted anyone to his presence. He knew the village she resided in had not been far from his resting place. And yet, no one but her had come to him. And she never made any attempt to purify him - laughable as her efforts would've been.

But even this unprecedented bout of temperance still did not explain why he was willing to burden himself with a human child.

So far, it was a wonder the girl did not wake beneath the weight of his stare. His eyes had been on her for so long, and with such insistence, that Sesshomaru was sure to burn a hole straight through her skull in his quest to understand this new compulsion.

He could, of course, simply abandon her. Leave her at the next wretched human village he came across. That would settle his debt, if one could even call it that. Her childish kindness would be repaid and the matter would be resolved.

But then… it would only be a matter of time. A matter of time before bandits found her, before she was beaten again, before the fine gown Sesshomaru was already determined to gift her – for her foolish bravery and her warmth – was torn from her by filthy, unworthy hands.

It became impossible to imagine this girl, who rested so peacefully in front of him, in the vicinity of these treacherous, disgusting humans.

They might share the same weak flesh, but had this girl not achieved the impossible? She was not like the rest of her kind, was she?

She had reached him, reached his… his soul. There was something compelling about her, something that had touched him in a way nothing ever had.

And he would not have believed it possible, had he not witnessed it himself: the moment she had awakened Tenseiga, the blade of healing that had lain dormant and useless at his side for decades.

This girl had finally given him the power to draw life back where death had already claimed it.

Surely, she was no ordinary human. Surely, she was meant to be in his care.

Beyond his hubris, beyond his pride and ambition, Sesshomaru felt something shift within him. It tightened around his neck, some ancient pull, some long-suppressed instinct he could not name.

It immediately made his heart race until it pressed against his spine with ferocity, until he could feel his own pulse throbbing in his wrists.

But no amount of ignorance or disbelief could undo what was already an inexorable truth: he would be forever indebted to this girl, forever be bound to her.

And with no small amount of disbelief, Sesshomaru realized he was not resisting that pull. He was yielding to it.

But strangely, there was no burning shame, his skin didn’t prickle with the icy intensity of humiliation. In fact, this did not feel like a defeat at all.

If anything, it was a summons.

And so, the night continued, and the silver beast kept watching her, drowned by the flood of his own feelings.

Chapter Text

The inevitable march of time was a curious thing. A great unifier of all species may it be – humans, animals and demons alike could not evade its vengeful path – and yet Sesshomaru had believed himself unaffected by its vagaries, above them even.

He knew better now.

Time itself was the most powerful entity of them all, and everyone had to yield to its will.

Sesshomaru had not often thought to defy or challenge it, given how intangible an opponent it was. For the longest time, he had even believed time to be on his side.

He knew he was bound to live an exceptionally long life, and that with the passing of ages he would only grow more formidable, more exceptional and powerful. If he made mistakes or was misguided in some way, he had ample opportunity to mend those rifts. Unlike humans, who fell dead like flies all around, time had granted him privilege of overcoming millennia after millennia.

Therefore, time had been his ally.

Once again, Sesshomaru knew better now.

At this juncture, time had become his most pernicious enemy, the curse of his existence, and the tragic truth lay in knowing he would never overcome it. There was no back door, no trick and no strategy that could stop time from taking what was dear to him.

And Sesshomaru considered himself remarkably humble in that regard. There wasn’t much that he held dear enough to not want to lose.

He had lived long enough to see great kingdoms fall, legacies erode, and palaces decay. He cared not for any of it. Nor was he plagued by the weepy sort of sentimentality that bound him to places and faces. That was a human affliction.

His own austerity had been helpful in securing his own survival and his rise to power. Year after year had passed, some agonizingly slow and others passing in a flash – like those shooting stars he had once watched while resting on his mother’s lap.

He had come far. From the once-intemperate boy so desperate to prove himself, Sesshomaru had grown into a young man of immeasurable prowess and self-assuredness. And although he’d rather lose his left arm again, rather than be called kind or sociable, Sesshomaru understood now that wielding power without a purpose was not just wasteful, but futile.

He had achieved his goals, exceeded his own expectations, all within the span of a few years – months even, to be exact.

And he was no longer as ignorant as to believe it happened without a cause, without something, or someone, tethering him to his purpose.

But now that debts with fate were settled, destinies had merged and his power was at an all-time high, Sesshomaru was once again restless and without purpose.

Was there truly nothing more to life than this?

Sesshomaru took a deep breath.

How very tiresome it had all become, and in such short time. It seemed that time itself was mocking him yet again.

The sound of a hesitant cough behind him interrupted Sesshomaru’s increasingly dejected introspection.

“Milord, the priestess tells me that Rin is slowly settling in. She no longer weeps at night.”

His heart thudded in his chest as the words soaked through his skin to join the discontent in his core.

His brows twitched irritably, unseen by Jaken, who stood behind him.

Hypocritical as he was, Sesshomaru did not particularly care to see himself as indulgent or hedonistic. Nor was he dutiful and conscientious towards a cause that didn’t directly benefit him.

His father had been both of those things, indulgent and dutiful, as strange a conundrum as that may have been.

But even though he could conquer, challenge, defend and even protect, Sesshomaru was still aimless.

Where was his fulfillment at last, where was his peace?

Did his soul not also weep nightly?

“So…uh–there is not much else to say, Lord Sesshomaru. She is well and healthy. And quite busy, I am told. But I wouldn’t wish to bore you with those details–“

“Nor do I want to hear them,” Sesshomaru interjected sharply before Jaken’s tongue could slip even more, as it had the tendency to do.

He did not wish to hear of Rin’s days from Jaken, because he wished to hear of them from Rin herself.

He wanted to see the spark in her eyes when she spoke of a new skill she learned, a new inconsequential piece of gossip she heard or when she described a new type of food she had tried.

He wouldn’t deprive himself of that little suppressed joy he felt when she reached out with clumsy hands to take hold of his sleeve, even for the briefest of moments, and when the warmth of her delight would seep into his soul to banish the numb discontent that had begun to plague him so.

Jaken wisely heeded the command, though his startled stuttering was not to be overheard. Once he had regained his composure – if there was even any to begin with – he continued with his next order of business.

“Well then… where to next, milord?”

Sesshomaru took another deep breath in, feeling his lungs expand just as the numbing disquiet once again settled into his weary limbs.

Did it really matter – when in time he’d find himself standing here yet again?

Time, this great and indomitable opponent, had already proven, more than once, that his preconceived notions of achievement were naught but placeholders.

He could, of course, devote himself to a new cause. Find a new purpose to pursue with that same pitiless ambition and inexorable loyalty that defined him so.

But what use was there in that, when in the end, all roads would lead him back to her, eventually?