Archive of Our Own ^beta

Dandy lay awake in his bed, staring up at the ceiling fan as it spun endlessly to cool down the room.

This wasn’t a common occurrence. He usually slept like a baby, collapsing into bed after a long day of acquiring items and selling them to the Toons. But tonight just had to be different.

Maybe he should ask Ast-

No. Astro only had power over dreams, he couldn’t do a thing if you were still awake.

…perhaps Teagan had some tea that could put him to sleep?

Well, that counted on Teagan wanting to see him at all. He didn’t give her team the greatest items, and they didn’t buy them, and then he lost his temper a bit, and…

Dandy sighed. He was alone.

…alone.

That feeling wasn’t new, unlike tonight’s insomnia. Ever since the expeditions began, Toons had begun to stay away from him, only ever talking with him while shopping and rarely ever just to… talk.

He was sure it was the fault of the rumors. Only one Toon definitively knew the extent of what was happening, but his former “friends” were now actively trying to discredit and expose him for anything they could.

It hurt him. Quite a bit. But by then, he could distract himself with his work.

And what, exactly, did that work entail?

Dandy shuddered, but managed to push that sudden accusation out of his mind. Maybe he had tested Ichor’s effects on the replicas of Vee and Sprout a little more often for a time, but he didn’t enjoy it. He never enjoyed watching the process. He never even stayed to watch the process.

Because you’re scared you WILL enjoy it.

Dandy stirred in his bed. That’s preposterous. Those Toons are my friends. I won’t-

Oh, please. They’re not your friends. Not anymore. Not after everything you’ve done. They deserve better.

And I’m trying to GIVE them better. I’ve got them collecting Ichor, I’m bringing them back afterwards, and I’m restricting my experiments solely to replicas.

Mhm. That’s why you infected Sprout, right?

…he forced my hand. I would have let him leave, but he wasn’t going to. You know how Sprout is.

Yes. A stubborn, hot-headed, antagonizing jerk. And you wanted to see him suffer. You wanted to finally assert your control over him, to make him fear you, to make him hurt, make him scream, cry, suffer as he deserved.

…

I know you better than anyone, Dandy. All your insecurities, your vices, your darkest thoughts, and your fears—oh, your fears! They dominate your life, they dictate every last action you take in this world.

And your biggest fear, Dandy?

Is me.

You fear me because you-

-know what you can do.

Yes! You know that if I wanted to slaughter every last one of them, all I would need to do is get past you first. And that thought, that one day, I’ll be able to overpower you… that scares you more than anything.

Because you’re a monster.

But perhaps on a good day, I’d be you. And on a bad day, such as today…

…I don’t have the time for this. Goodnight.

Aw, quitting the argument because you’re losing? Pathetic.

…

…that’s exactly what you are. Pathetic.

And not even because you’re a horrible person. It’s because you’re blind to- no, not blind. You willingly choose to ignore that fact and carry on with your terrible deeds. You will never be the hero you delude yourself into thinking that your work will make you once it’s complete, but you can’t even accept that you truly are a monster.

You continue to excuse yourself for every time you kill one of your “friends” over something as simple as not purchasing something from you. Your work consists entirely of mangling those “friends” into unrecognizable revenants of themselves. And perhaps most terrible of all…

Don’t you dare bring him into this.

Please, use Astro’s real name. And you know it’s true. He despises every second he must spend minding you, or talking you down from inflicting horrible fates onto others, or pretending to enjoy your company, or-

Shut up.

Oh?

I said, shut up.

And what makes you think that will stop me?

SHUT UP.

You can’t deny the truth much longer, Dandy.

I HATE YOU.

One day, you’ll finally wake up and realize that you’re a captive to your base urges.

I HATE YOU!

And when that day comes…

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

…I’ll finally be free. Goodnight, Dandy.

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I

Dandy lay awake in his bed, alone, dark black tears staining his bedsheets.