Chapter Text
Jungkook has told Jimin the whole story, which he doesn't remember.
It started off with a sharp, stinging pain behind his right eye and behind his head. His scalp was too sensitive to touch, and half of his head felt like it would explode. Jungkook couldn't even caress his hair without Jimin flinching away.
A migraine most likely, maybe the start of a cold even. That's what they both thought.
It should've gone away. Jimin worked a lot then, he always has, but this time Jungkook told him to rest, which he did somehow. It wasn't like him to listen to Jungkook and take care of himself. They argued sometimes about that. Jungkook just wanted him to feel good.
Jimin was perfect beyond measures, but he did not take care of himself enough. Jungkook was here for that to counterbalance this time at least.
Jungkook understood that Jimin was resting not because he was rational for once, but because he was utterly exhausted and in more pain than he let Jungkook know. It worried him to see Jimin not leaving the bed for a few days, trying to hide his obvious pain.
Jimin always had a bad eyesight but it was manageable, yet Jungkook saw him sting his eyes and blinking more times than usual. He saw him holding his face in his hand with a groan, shaking it, as if it'd wipe the pain away.
Dizziness turned into unbalance, and that's when Jungkook dragged him to the doctor.
Jungkook fully expected a bacterial infection maybe, since Jimin could get hot and shiver like he had the flu, and overall an exhaustion diagnosis.
Maybe if a doctor told Jimin this, he'd finally take an even longer break.
Instead, he witnessed the troubled eyes when the doctor checked his eyes. He redirected them towards a brain scan as well as a full check up and see an ophthalmologist. His head was not okay, apparently.
Jimin stayed quiet after this. Jungkook tried to make him talk in the car back home, but Jimin was lost in his thoughts. Or dozing off like he often did back then.
When they arrived, it's like a flip switched. Jimin was back with all his smily, cheerful demeanor.
That's when he started wearing a mask, because he couldn't lie to himself anymore.
Not even when they had to get more and more medical examinations, with no one really reassuring them about any of it.
Jungkook avoided searching online what it meant, but he couldn't stop Jimin from doing so. He'd stay up at night, biting his thumb's nail as he read someone else sharing the same experience as him : it always starts with a headache, fatigue, irritation, a blurry vision, it gets hard to sleep too. It stings. It's uncomfortable.
Then they have a word for it, the doctor finally utters it after they receive enough results. And it's unfair, because Jimin is too young for any of it, he's too good for that.
It never happens to bad people. It's never fair.
They both know.
A brain tumor, that grows, that'll need to be taken out.
It's scary. Jimin's eyes are empty, he's silent, much like the first doctor appointment.
It's the start of something. Jungkook is glad Jimin can't remember it now. His body, deep down, probably does. Because he spent three months in anxiety, crying, not sleeping, spiraling.
Someone had to be strong for the two of them. Jungkook could barely stand seeing Jimin like that, he could barely believe he was doing good himself, but he had be right by his side.
So he did everything, in the comfort of their home, behind closed doors, he reassured him.
He wasn't sure himself of much things, but he was sure they'd make it. There was no way the world could exist without Jimin.
Jimin had to live.
So to live he had to undergo a long, scary craniotomy surgery eventually, to take our the growing tumor.
Opening a skull, taking out a merciless body of mass, and keeping the body alive during it is not easy.
Everyone was here to support Jimin this time. Their friends, his colleagues, their families.
They both knew it was because there was a chance he wouldn't come back from this. Jungkook didn't want to think about it.
Because Jimin came back anyway, after long hours of surgery.
This was when the nightmare continued, because Jimin came back safe, but it didn't mean he came back fully.
It was a normal at first, Jungkook was made aware of the roughly two or three days of artificial coma after the neurosurgery. It was fine. Then Jimin would wake up, smile to him, and they'd start to head towards another journey.
But Jimin did not wake up, not really. Touching the brain was never truly harmless after all. His brain activity is impaired. It shouldn't last more than a few weeks. It happens, but we have no explanation.
These were bizarre times. Jungkook would spend his days on the chair next to Jimin. It was as if Jimin was sleeping soundly, finally painless, at peace. His breath steady, his body a little cold, but as soft as always.
Sometimes his eyes would move below his closed eyelids, as if he was dreaming. Jungkook thought it was it, so he rushed to any nurse he could find, just to know that it was good news, but not unusual.
Jimin was here. He could hear and feel, and stimulation from the closest person in his life —thus Jungkook— was encouraged, so he did, starting from this day, in wait for any response.
It was fruitless, and days turned into weeks.
Until Jimin's fingers started twitching when Jungkook passed a hand through his growing short hair once. His pinky outstretched for a second before it fell back on the bed, then more of his hand when Jungkook passed his hand through his hair again, cautious to avoid the healing scar there.
"Jimin? Do you feel me? Does it hurt?"
No response was heard, his hand was immobile, but something felt different.
Jimin would sometimes be sat upright on a wheelchair, for mobility, and to stimulate him again. Jungkook didn't like to see him like that, unconscious on the chair, his head falling back, his mind trapped in a body and with a brain incapable of waking up.
It hurt seeing this so much. People around Jungkook would tell him that it was okay to not go for a few days, to step back and rest, that they'd be by Jimin's side while he was away, that it'd be good for him.
But he couldn't, he couldn't miss a day and possibly waste any progress they could make. Jungkook had to be here. Jimin needed him.
He couldn't allow weeks to pass and have Jimin no respond to stimuli at all anymore, to have everyone else give up on his case.
So he stayed eight months by his side. For Jimin it felt like a few hours at best, apparently. Jungkook forgot the ripping wait the second his eyes met Jimin's orbs anyway.
He started waking up, while Jungkook was asleep on the chair next to him, ironically so. It took Jimin days to fully wake up, almost a week, akin to someone waking from an anesthesia, but longer. It looked excruciating for Jimin, like he was stuck and that it took humongous efforts. Jungkook would dread when he would fall back asleep, in fear of him falling into coma again, even if the doctors repeatedly told him that he was in a waking state.
Jimin couldn't move or talk yet. He could barely drink or focus for too long, and his eyes were sensitive to the lights, so they changed them to dim ones.
Jungkook couldn't hold back both his excitation and fears anymore, they were so close to making it. Waking up for a lasting coma could not be easy, but again, he'd be right by Jimin's side. They went through the worst already, his tumor was settled too, so they had to focus on getting better from now on.
But Jimin's eyes on him never stopped being empty and dull, much like they were pre-surgery, when he was in too much pain and losing focus.
This time though, it stemed from ignorance.
Jimin looked at him staying in the room like he expected him to do anything, then confusedly, and finally and if he was a ghost.
Jungkook can't recall how he got to know. He knows they told him to wait outside one day, then brought him in an office. They told him that it happens. Both a brain surgery and the coma can alter memories. But that outside of this Jimin looks in great form, thankfully. In a way, only loosing his memories is a good outcome. It'll come back, especially with how dedicated they saw him thorough the coma, he'll do a great job at helping Jimin regain memory.
It could happen anytime.
The same way they told him Jimin would wake up anytime, he held onto this promise.
The next time Jungkook saw him, he didn't want to lie.
"I'm your partner," he introduced himself after asking Jimin if he was up for a talk. "Jungkook."
Jimin titled his eyes to the side. Jungkook didn't like to look at them. They were too honest, too distant, lacking all the affectation they adorned before.
"Partner?" his voice is a little hoarse, but still the same, pretty and high. "What does it mean?"
"The– The concept, or for us?" Jungkook didn't know yet the length of his memory loss, he didn't want to ask the doctor about it. Jimin could have lost all memory of any social construct.
"I know what a partner is, what are you?"
Jungkook feels like a stranger in this room. He knows exactly this way Jimin talks with strangers when he's suspicious of them. He doesn't like being on the receiving end of that.
"Your boyfriend, or fiancé," he mutters, sitting on a chair.
"Fiancé? In this country?"
This makes Jungkook almost snort, at least Jimin didn't forget about the social climate.
"That's why we're still fiancés after years, it's almost a joke by now because we could only marry abroad," Jungkook explains, trying to look at him better. He missed talking with him so much. It's taking all the restraints in the world for him to not jump in his arms.
But he can't, not when Jimin doesn't know him anymore, nor when he still looks so fragile and sick.
"So... What about my parents? Why you? Since when?" Jimin frowns, obviously confused. "Will you tell me everything?"
Jungkook's brows raise slightly, surprised by his curiosity. "You remember your parents?"
Jimin shakes his head. "I don't remember them, but I know what parents are and why's it important, somehow."
Jungkook expected Jimin to appear way more confused than he is, but he's glad to see him as himself, intelligent and witty even after his brain has been challenged.
"Your parents don't know about us, nor mine, they're really cool with us living together and I secretly suspect they know deep down that there's something else, but they don't butt in."
Jimin hums as he seems to take the new informations in. "We live together... What about the rest?"
"You're gay but you had tour fair share of girlfriends, you chose me because we click and you think I'm cute, and yeah, I can tell you anything you want, I didn't expect you to be open to know yet, but I'll do, gladly."
"Okay," Jimin needs time to process it again, he lets his head hit the pillow with a breath before he speaks up again. "Tell me everything, everything I need to know, I want to know it, this is making me feel lost and stupid, I feel like I'm missing out things about the world I need to know."
"Won't it be too much? Aren't you tired?"
"I'm tired," Jimin nods. "But I've slept long enough, and I know you Jungkook, you wouldn't lie to me."
Jungkook must have a puzzled look, because Jimin gives him a small smile, almost mischievous. "You bothered me days and nights here, I couldn't sleep a wink, there was always your voice, smell and presence around. A total stranger, but at least there was someone acknowledging me, I wasn't just dreaming and slowly dying."
Jungkook feels his throat tightening. All his efforts to keep Jimin conscious to some degree weren't in vain, and in some way, Jimin knew him, still knew him.
"So, help me?"
Jungkook feels a tear rolling down his cheek, then two. He nods, because that's all he'd do even if it was his last day on earth.
"Good, remind me what's my name again?"
"Jimin," he says assuredly, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. "You're Park Jimin."