Chapter Text
Nothing happens the way she imagined it in her head.
Though, that's almost always the case when it comes to JJ, isn't it?
Even before everything went to shit, before Kitty Hawk, before El Dorado, before Big John and Ward died all in one awful, fateful day in the jungle. Back when she was standing outside of The Wreck and finally yelling at his stupid ass that she loved him - even then, nothing went according to plan.
She's over it now, obviously, but truth be told, there's a teeny tiny place in the back of her mind where she's still a little bit pissed about it. The knowledge that he would leave her like that. His words, still clear as day in her memory. "If I come back..." It's not like she was surprised. She had meant what she said about him pushing people away when they get close, but hell if she hadn't been hurt and disappointed anyway.
But it doesn't really matter now does it? In the end, she had won.
JJ's insecurities had lost and now he is her boyfriend. Her parents and those assholes at Kitty Hawk had lost and now she is a few days short of eighteen and free as a bird. Singh had lost, and while the pogues might not have a whole city of it - they do have a little bit of gold.
Kiara Carrera - 3, World - 0.
----
Anyway, it didn't really play out the way it used to in her head, back when she had starting daydreaming about it on the island - a first kiss, a first date, his hands on her body, sleeping together underneath the stars and just being themselves...
In reality, their first kiss was brief and delicate, and strangely public - in a girl's dormitory in the middle of a jailbreak. A date had been out of the question entirely, unless you counted trecking through the jungle in Venezuela. And as for other activities - well, there is only so much privacy to be found when hitching a ride on a cargo ship with four of your best friends and a sack full of gold.
Which brings us to Kiara's issue at hand.
Sleeping arrangements.
They have all been bunking at Heyward's while selling the gold and waiting for the auction. The girls crammed themselves into Cleo's tiny room and the boys have been staying downstairs with Pope, out of respect for Pope's parents. But today, they are moving into their new house. Well, JJ's old house. Whatever.
They are essentially moving in together.
And they haven't even had sex yet.
Which is why Kiara is currently freaking the fuck out.
------
Technically, Kie already knows it's not going to be like it was with Pope. This is not an idea of what she should want. It's the actual truth about what she wants - the one who actually makes her heart race and her blood boil and who loves more fiercely than anyone she's ever met.
But what if it's not like that for him? After all, she's been the one pushing this - making the first and second and third move, before he finally caved.
What if she is the idea of what JJ should want - rather than the actual truth?
She tries to push that thought away as soon as it comes.
No.
She doesn't think JJ would be capable of hiding something like that from her. The way he looks at her now, like she's "his girl" or whatever stupid way he puts it. It's too serious, too unguarded to be anything but real.
And anyway, she has faced far worse in her life. She isn't about to go running scared just because she doesn't know what sex with JJ will be like.
She will simply have to try it and find out.
-----
It's late in the afternoon and Sarah is looking at Kiara in a very deliberate way, clearly ramping up to something. They are in the produce aisle of the local grocery store on the Cut, having volunteered to go food shopping while everyone else is cleaning and rummaging around the house, trying to make it livable during the renovation. For the people on Kildare, it's just another day - sunny with blue skies and just the hint of a breeze coming in from the east. Everybody goes about their business. But for the pogues, it's a historic day - the start of a new life, a new home, together.
"Soooo... have you and JJ... you know?" Sarah asks, conspiratorially wriggling her eyebrows.
There's a soft hum coming from the coolers in the back of the store and Kiara pretends to study the green bell peppers with razor-like intensity. She considers brushing the question off with a joke, but honestly... she could use another girl's perspective.
Kie sighs and looks at the blonde, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.
"Not yet", she confesses. "Not for lack of trying, but to be fair there just hasn't really been much opportunity, you know?"
Sarah chuckles slightly and nods. "Yeah, you could say that again", she mutters, even though Kiara is 99% sure that she and John B has managed to hook up in the Twinkie at least once since they've been back on Kildare. Those two are like bunnies, but hey, no judgement.
"I'm honestly kind of nervous about it", Kiara continues. "I mean, what if it's not..."
Kie trails off without finishing the thought. Sarah's brows furrow in confusion and her voice softens.
"What if it's not what?"
"Like I thought it would be, I guess", Kie says, frowning and looking down at her white sneakers, planted firmly on the checkered vinyl floors.
The bell on the door signaling a new customer fills the silence for a few seconds while Sarah mulls it over. Picking up some bread and putting it in the basket, she gives Kiara a sympathetic smile.
"I mean, It probably won't be", she shrugs. "My first time with John B was nothing like I had expected. But I think that's kinda what made it special, you know?"
Kiara nods, letting out another deep sigh.
"Yeah, I know. It's just that we've kind of been stuck in fight or flight, and treasure hunting and all that for so long. And now suddenly my biggest problem is how to hook up with my boyfriend! It's like where do I even start?!"
Sarah's laugh rings out.
"Oh honey, it's JJ. Just tell him what you want and I'm sure he'll give it to you", she chuckles, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively again and heading for the register.
Kiara is stunned for a second but she can't help but giggle before feigning offense.
"Sarah Cameron, are you slutshaming my boyfriend?!"
-----
JJ knew they were all a bit pissed at him for going a bit rogue at the auction that morning. But if it hadn't been for him they probably would have lost the bidding, and then where would they be? Back to square one.
No.
The promise of having a home like the one they'd had on the island, somewhere they could be themselves, in this place - the only thing he had left of his father - it is too good to pass up. No way the kooks were going to get this too.
It might be a shithole, but it is his birthright after all.
So he takes it upon himself to show his friends that this was the right call.
All day, he has been running around, cleaning and moving furniture and trying to get back on Pope's good side. And it kind of worked. Pope is back to making plans and doing calculations. And without the chaos of Luke Maybank, the house is actually in pretty good shape. The tension has started to make way for joy and creativity - everything that life on the island had been about.
There isn't really any formal discussion on how to organize the sleeping arrangements, but they is no real pretense either. None of their relationships are a secret at this point. JJ just kind of mumbles a question to Kiara about being okay with his old room, while Sarah loudly declares the light in the spare room upstairs to be "simply amazing". Leaving the master bedroom to Pope and Cleo. And that is that.
It isn't really like him to be awkward about stuff like this, but he has been trying his best not to come on too strong ever since he'd found Kie at that horrible wilderness camp and told her he loved her.
In all honesty, JJ learned pretty early on how to angle his head a little, smile and sweet talk his way into getting whatever he wanted. By the time he was in high school and girls started to look at him a certain way, he found plenty of opportunities to practice his skills. However, the skills needed to get a random touron chick into bed are probably not the same as being a good boyfriend to someone like Kiara.
Sure, he has still used his skills on her a few times. Trying to get her to relax on Barracuda Mike's plane, sneaking heated kisses on the cargo ship or by the dock at Heywards, or to calm her down when she was pissed about her parents. But that was all harmless and fun and without any real risks.
But now she is his girl and he has to find a way to keep her, without holding on too tight.
And god help him if that doesn't seem damn near impossible.
-----
Later that evening, after Kie has cooked the best dinner they've all had in months (Mama Heyward's cooking included, though best not to tell her!) and hours of just hanging out - talking, joking and making plans for the next day, Cleo and Pope volunteers for dishwashing duty. As they head to the kitchen, John B takes Sarah out into the garden to "look at the stars" or some shit like that.
Kiara just rolls her eyes and shouts "Very subtle you guys!" after them.
Sarah turns around in the doorway and gives Kie a sly wink, making the brunette chuckle and shake her head.
As Kiara turns around, she finds JJ watching her cautiously from the living room couch, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shorts. Feeling brave, she arches an eyebrow and motions with her head towards JJ's old bedroom. Their new bedroom. Whatever.
She starts towards the room, not quite brave enough to stick around and see if he is following her. A soft breath against the back of her neck as she steps over the threshold and the sound of the door closing behind her is her answer.
For a moment, she is fully prepared to take charge. To turn around and get him to take his shirt off, before leading him to the freshly made bed. But she doesn't get the chance.
JJ's arm wraps firmly around her midsection as he pulls her back flat against his chest. The thrill that shoots through her body is beyond exhilarating. In her world, there is nothing hotter than when JJ holds her like she belongs to him. A familiar warmth spreads through her core as Kiara breathes him in - cheap soap and sundried clothes mixed with a masculine scent that is uniquely JJ. He hasn't even really touched her yet, but there is no denying what is about to happen.
Oh it's on.
Kiara smiles as JJ whispers a question against her temple, running his fingertips over the exposed skin between her top and her loose-fitting pants.
"Don't you think it'll be pretty obvious to everybody what were doing in here?" She chuckles, because of course he's right, but he won't be thinking about everybody else much longer if she has anything to say about it.
"Jayj. Do you really think John B and Sarah are 'looking at the stars'? And that Cleo and Pope are 'doing the dishes'?
JJ laughs and spins her around in his arms.
"Alright", he concedes with his lips a mere breath away from hers. "Fair point."