Archive of Our Own ^beta

He never thought he’d be back here again.

No, scratch that– he never wanted to be back here again. It was the last thing he wanted, actually, to the point he gave away nearly everything just to escape it.

But things never really tend to go his way, now, do they?

Avid’s one solace is that they weren’t technically in Limbo, right now, but instead a small pocket of the void that doesn’t seem to want to tear you apart, particle by particle. It still wasn’t the greatest, not by a long shot, but at least he felt like he could breathe...

...He tries to ignore the memories that flicker into the back of his mind every time he catches sight of... that door.

(Judging by the way Marmalade keeps looking at him, he doesn’t think he’s doing a good job.)

He’d thought Marmalade was crazy, even when she started going on about the door, and the other part of him stuck behind it, and– and him. He was ready to plug his ears, write her off, and continue from where he left off.

And then she had to pull out that darn IOU, drag him to that pit(how do you even have a pit in skyblock?!), and bring him back to this place. It was a little harder to doubt her words after seeing all... this.

He didn’t like this. Not at all. Didn’t like being here, didn’t like that Marm knew everything, apparently, didn’t like how she had to see him like this– there wasn’t a single bit of this that he was fine with.

And yet, here he was. Standing next to the door that led to his worst nightmare, right next to someone he could probably call his worst enemy.

(...Well, second worst, maybe. Milkman never fails to be a thorn in his side.)

Avid turns his gaze to the door. That horrible, god-forsaken door. The one thing standing between him, and that reliving those eons spent wandering around in circles, chasing eyes in the corner of his vision, unsure if he was going crazy, or if he was already well past that.

“I was sent through that door for a very specific purpose,” Avid explained, tearing his eyes away to look back to Marmalade. “I had a mission.”

Marmalade tilted her head at him, staring at him with unsettlingly black eyes, a far cry from her usual periwinkle. “A mission?” she asked. “What mission?”

“I was told,” he starts, “..to stop people from falling into the void, so they wouldn’t fall into–” he cuts himself off, and he finds himself looking at the door again. “It’s– an awful place, I just wanted to protect people.”

Marmalade stares at him, her brows furrowed. “By.. stopping them from falling into the void–?”

“Yes!” Avid rushes to say, but before he can continue, Marm keeps going, “that does the opposite– I told you that does the–!” She pauses, sucking in a breath. “The void needs us to fall in for its energy so it can stop us from ending up in Limbo.”

...Avid stared at her. That... couldn’t be right, right? It– It can’t be! The void was bad, very bad, it had to be! If– If what Marm was saying was true, then that would mean he’d been... he’d...

..he found his mind trailing back to a time long lost, to monsters and blood moons, to a demon and voices in his head. Back when he only knew them as the Nameless King.

It wouldn’t be the first time they used him to do their dirty work.

It wouldn’t even be the first time he lied to him, even over something as small as a name.

Oh.

Avid lets out a tired sigh, and tries to ignore the way his heart sinks. “Then he must have lied to me.” Of course he did, he thinks as he takes a few steps towards the door. What else was I expecting?

Marmalade followed after him. “...Who’s he?”

Avid turned his head back to her, his tail flicking nervously. He’d.. never told anyone about this, before. It’s not like he had the chance to, between Limbo and getting... recruited. And he’s not really one for being open like this, regardless.

But, well. She already seems to know everything else. It’s not like there’s much point hiding it.

“A long time ago, I... I wanted to protect... a place. A really special place to me..” he explains, and he tries not to look Marm in the eye as he fiddles with his tie nervously. “And so I made a deal. Uhm... I made a deal with.. somebody who was very powerful. I– um. And, uh... and I helped him. Their name... was.. Olm.”

“Olm...” Marmalade repeated, tasting the name like it was old leftovers, and Avid tried not to squirm as he heard the name spoken aloud. It took everything in him to even mention that in the first place– you never know who might be listening– and now he would really, really like to move on.

“Yeah...” he said simply, and his eyes traveled back to the door once more. “And, uhh... as a reward for me helping them, they... trapped me, behind that door in Limbo, for...” he trailed off, gaze locked on the black and white landscape just beyond the window. How long had he been out there? He lost track after that first year. He sighed helplessly, “gosh, I don’t even know...”

“A thousand years?” Marmalade offered, and when he looked back, judging by the way her void-black eyes peered knowingly at him, he has a sinking feeling that wasn’t just a guess.

Avid stared at her, and for a moment, he could feel the weight of all that time, the eons spent wandering aimlessly catching up to him. He all but whispered, “was it a thousand years...?”

Marm looked at him, her own eyes filled with... sorrow, for some reason. “Yeah...” she replied, her voice soft, like she was comforting a scared child.

That felt.. strange, to him. Why would she act like that, especially to him? She had mostly bared the brunt of OSSHA, what with all of Mangrove Kingdom’s violations, and her insistence that the void was alive and hungry(which... might not be that far-fetched after all); and while they’ve been courteous to each other on occasion, she had made it very clear she didn’t respect him nor OSSHA in general. So, to go from that, to this?

He turned away again– he couldn’t find it in himself to keep looking at her expression, not when it made his stomach turn. “And I– I think most of me’s still back there, I– honestly, I don’t like to think about it.”

Marmalade followed his gaze to the door, and took a few steps closer to it. “Well, we’re– we're gonna get you out,” she says, voice still soft, but determined, “that’s what we’re here for this– that’s why I wanted to bring you down here, I can show the– the door is here–” she stepped closer, reaching a hand out like she was going to grab the handle, “we just have to open it, we can get you through–”

“No,” Avid frantically cuts her off, talking over that last sentence as he rushes to pull her away, “you can’t just open the door, it– He. Sees. Everything. Olm, for all we know, could be–” he uses a hand to gesture wildly at the sky(or, what would be the sky), “one of our fellow skyblockers, masquerading around pretending to be our friends– you don’t know!” he finishes desperately, ears pinned to the side of his head. “You don’t know what he does!”

“Okay,” Marmalade tried to sooth, putting a hand over the one on her upper arm, and patting it gently. It was only then he realized the death grip he had on her, and he had to force himself to loosen it a little. “Okay, I don’t know! I...” she paused for a moment, looking deep in thought. “Then we find another way.”

Avid stared at her again, scrunching his brows. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand. Just a few days ago, Avid caught her throwing yet another OSSHA violation book into the void. Just ten minutes ago, she had run from him while he was on duty, choosing to jump into the void to get away from him rather than hear him out.

(Which, were he a better person, he’d probably consider that a fair reaction, considering he’d been brandishing an axe and planning to tube her along with the rest of his friends.

But he’s not, so he doesn’t think this thought at all.)

“Why are you trying to help me?” he can’t help but ask, exasperated. “Why are you helping me–?”

“We can’t leave you in there,” she cuts him off.

Avid falters, taking a step back. Marmalade stares at him, and he can’t help but stare back helplessly.

She seems to realize he still doesn’t get it, and after a minute, she sighs, turning her head away from him.

“I was just...” she starts, gesturing around them, “I was trying to restore the balance and fix the void that you were breaking, and I– I–” she took a breath. “I had no idea why you were doing it, I didn’t know that you were–” to Avid’s surprise, her voice wobbles a bit– “stuck in there, that’d you’d been stuck in there for–”

She cut herself off, staring at him again with sad eyes, and Avid can’t help but look away.

“..so long...” she finishes, voice forlorn.

“Yeah...” he says, tail curling around his leg. “...I was trying to help people, and I thought you were wrong, and clearly I was wrong, and...” He took a breath, looking down to the floor. “Okay.” He sighed. “If we're going to get me out of there...” He turns back at Marm. “We're gonna have to trade him something that he wants, that’s the only way, and– I don’t know what that is yet–”

“Okay–”

“–all I know is that we shouldn’t be standing... next to that–” he gestures towards the door, ignoring how his voice wavers– “horrible place, please can I go home– can we just go home?” he asks helplessly.

“Okay, okay!” Marmalade continues, “We can go home, we’re gonna figure this out.”

He doesn’t quite hear her, though, not really– he’s staring at the door again, and the panic he’s been fighting this entire time is starting to creep up on him again– he doesn’t like how it feels like he’s this close to being trapped there again, doesn’t like how he can feel the repressed memories flooding back to him. He unknowingly talks over her, “Okay, I believe you now, I just– please I wanna go home–”

A hand on his shoulder appears, squeezing it gently, and Avid looks up to meet Marm’s unnaturally dark eyes– they had changed again, he found, each eye entirely engulfed in a glowing, void-black color. “We’ll go home,” she soothes again over his rambling, “I’ll take you home.”

“Yes, please,” Avid says, opting to ignore whatever was going on with her eyes– probably some void magic he didn’t understand. “Please, okay, okay.”

“Yep, let’s go,” Marmalade continues, “let’s... go...?”

Avid watched as the void flickered back out of her eyes, leaving only a confused look behind. But he didn’t let himself think about why that was the case, too focused on the fact that they were still here.

“Marm? Marm, I thought we were going, why– why aren’t we leaving–?”

“Hold on,” Marmalade cut in, and again, her eyes turned all-black as she tried to focus, “hold on, something’s off, why can’t I...” she trailed off as, just as quick as it appeared, the magic once again flickered away. “Why isn’t this working...?”

That– That didn’t sound good. Oh, that really didn’t sound good, not at all.

“What isn’t working?” Avid asked hurriedly, fist clenched so tight he might have been afraid he’d draw blood had he not have other, more pressing concerns. “Marm, what’s going on?”

“Okay. Okay, don’t panic,” Marmalade said, her voice strained in such a way that he felt like those words weren’t just for him, “don’t panic, but– the void isn’t... responding?”

“’Not responding’?” Avid parroted with wide eyes. “What do you mean, ‘not responding’?”

“I’m trying to get a hold of it, to get it to let us leave, but– I’m not getting anything anymore, it’s like... the line’s been muffled, or someone severed the connection?”

Avid can’t breathe.

No.

No, nonono no no nono no nonononono–

“Marm,” he forces out, “Marm, listen, I’m– I’m sorry for not believing you, okay, I– I was wrong, very wrong, but– please, please please don’t do this. Don’t– Don’t joke about this.”

Marmalade jerked up, looking taken aback. “You think I’m–?” she started, before shaking her head. “No, Avid, I– You really think I’d do that to you?” She sounded a little hurt at the thought. “I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but I wouldn’t–”

“But you– you have to be!” Avid all but yelled, and in a blink, he grabbed her tightly by the shoulders. She jerked back with a yelp, and maybe Avid was holding her a little too tight, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not right now. “You have to be joking, you have to be– because– because if you’re not–!” his voice cracked, and he faltered. “If.. If you’re not...” he repeated, words hushed as the reality of the situation started to sink in.

In truth, part of him knew Marm wasn’t lying to him, couldn’t be lying to him. After the conversation they’d had, she’d have to be cruel to try and pull this sort of thing off as a joke; and while Avid had used many less-than-savory words to describe her in the past, cruel was not one of them.

But if that really was the case, than that would mean...

Avid let out a shuttering breath.

Not again. Please, please not again.

He could feel the heavy weight of Marmalade’s stare settle over him. “..Oh...” she said softly.

For a moment, neither of them dared to move. Then, he startled as he felt the sudden sensation of arms being wrapped around him, holding onto him tightly. Through his panic, a few beats too late, he realized what this was.

A hug. Marm was... hugging him.

Avid froze, the death grip he had on her shoulders shaken off from the sudden movement. He couldn’t bring himself to move for a minute, too focused on trying to process what was going on.

A hug. When was the last time someone hugged him? He wasn’t the most.. touchy-feely person, admittedly. He avoided it as often as he could, actually– after a thousand years of wandering Limbo alone, any kind of touch just felt like.. a lot, to him. Almost like getting a burn. It wasn’t painful, per se, but it was close to it.

Even now, the touch felt a little too warm, a little too much– but this time, he couldn’t bring himself to care. The warmth was grounding, keeping him from completely breaking down.

Slowly, Avid reached his arms up, and wrapped them around Marmalade in return. He leaned into the hug, burying his head in her shoulder, holding her tightly, as though if he let go, she’d disappear.

“I– I can’t do this,” he choked out. “Not again...”

“We’ll... We’ll be fine,” Marmalade tries to reassure him, but even if he couldn’t see her face, he could still hear the hesitation in her tone. “You’re not alone this time, alright? We’ll get through this together, Avid.”

He couldn’t bring himself to respond, instead just holding her tighter.

They stayed like that for a while. Marmalade’s not sure how much time passes, but eventually, she can feel Avid’s grip loosen on her, and he pulls away.

(If his eyes look a little red, well, she doesn’t say anything.)

She’s half-tempted to ask if he’s alright, but bites her tongue just in time– she has a feeling she can guess the answer. Not that she blames him, really.

If she was trapped in this place for as long as he was, she doesn’t think she’d be any better. Honestly, even now, she felt just as scared and unsure as he was– but one of them needed to keep a level-head here, and from the looks of it, it wasn’t going to be Avid.

Marmalade takes a look around the place, and tries to see if there’s anything that they could use, or exploit. There was the door, of course; and then there was the boat, but as much of a help it was getting them here to begin with, she doesn’t think it’ll be much help getting them out. She picked it up and put it in her inventory regardless, though– you never know when it might come in handy.

Outside of that, though, there was nothing else but black void and the white little stars floating around them. She’d never really had the option to look around this place before, always getting kicked out before she could do much.

The fact that they were still here, though... She tried not to panic, but being cut off from the void like this was incredibly concerning. She could still feel it, but the connection was muddied, just out of her reach.

Even if she couldn’t harness the void itself, though– shouldn’t it have kicked them out by now? It had done so the past few times she made it in here, so why wasn’t it doing so now?

...Hadn’t Trog made it here, too? From what she remembered, the void hadn’t kicked them out, not the way it did with her– it was the OSSHA satellite that brought them out. And, they said it only felt like a few minutes for them, but they’d been down there for two weeks before they finally got out...

If Trog was in there for that long... how long could they...?

Marmalade shook her head, shaking away the thought before it finished. Don’t dwell on that, Marm, she thought to herself. What we need to worry about is how we're going to get out.

Marmalade’s eyes trailed back to the door. That door was how Avid got out in the first place, right? If they could use it...

She turned to Avid, and gestured at the door. “Do you think we could just... walk through that door, and get home that way?”

Before she even finished her sentence, Avid was already frantically shaking his head. “That’s not how it works– he controls that door, only he has a say on whether that door leads out of here or not.”

Marmalade glanced back at the door– unfortunately, that did sound right. Looking through the bars, it didn’t seem like it led directly back home.

She hummed. “...Maybe the door itself can’t help us, but maybe there’s something in Limbo proper that can?”

Avid stared at her with disbelieving eyes. “You– Surely you’re not suggesting we go in there, right?”

“Why not?” Marm started, but Avid cut her off before she could continue.

“’Why not’?!” His lashed his tail back and forth as he gestured wildly. “It’s– It’s Limbo! I’ve walked every inch of that place, and I assure you– There’s nothing good in there, not a single thing! And the moment we touch that door, he’ll know– he’ll know we’re there, and– and who knows what they’d do after that!”

“Avid, what else can we do?” Marmalade counters, and she waves a hand around. “Look around! There’s nothing for us here! If we just stayed here, we’d sooner starve to death than make it home.”

“...you don’t get hungry, here,” Avid murmured, but he didn’t argue further.

She continued, “but if we walk through that door and take our chances out there, we might just manage to find something, anything that could help. We have to try, at least.”

For a moment, Avid didn’t say anything. He reached a hand up to fiddle absentmindedly with his tie– and Marm couldn’t help but notice how uncomfortable he looked wearing the uniform, now. She supposes that learning your whole mission was based around a lie would probably make things a little shaky.

Finally, he took a deep breath. “I... I don’t like this,” he said. “I don’t like this one bit. The– The last thing I want, is to spend– even one more second in there!” A pause, then a sigh. “But... we don’t have a choice, do we...”

Marmalade glanced back at the door, through the window, and peered into the black and white landscape behind it. “...If you really don’t want to, I won’t make you,” she offered. “I understand why you wouldn’t. But I really do think we’d have a better chance getting home if we went out there, instead of just... sitting around.”

Avid’s gaze flickered between her and the door. He squeezed his eyes shut. “O... Okay,” he decided, the words shaky, but determined. “No, you’re... you’re right. I hate it, I hate it a lot, but... you’re right. Let’s do it.”

Marmalade gave him a soft smile, and she held out a hand to him. He stared at it for a moment, before slowly reaching out to take it.

She led him to the door, and reached a hand out to the handle. Before she turned it, she gave one last look at Avid. “You ready?”

Avid’s eyes were locked on the handle. “...no,” he admitted, voice small. “Let’s get this over with...”

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, and a beat later, he squeezed back. Then, she turned her attention back to the door. She took in a deep breath, steeling herself, before opening the door; and as one, they stepped inside.