Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Okay, I’m gonna go make sure that this is the right place. I’ll be right back,” Betty says. Jughead nods, obviously distracted. She sighs, slides out of the car, and pulls out her phone. No reception. 

It seems as good a place as any to find the bunker- and Ethel still hasn’t shown up. She sighs, turns back towards the car, and knocks on the window. 

Jughead startles and scrambles to find her. Weirdly, he doesn’t calm down once his eyes lock on her. His face seems… different. Sharper. Still undeniably Jughead, but there’s something…

“When did you change your hat?” Betty asks. 

“Betty?” Jughead says. “Are you… you’re Betty?”

“Uh…” she says. “Yeah?”

“Oh, okay,” Jughead says. He climbs out of the car. “This might sound a little bit crazy but I think I might be from another dimension.”

“You-” Betty blinks, and then pinches her forehead. “Is this a joke, Jughead? Because if it’s a joke, you should know I’m really, really not in the mood for that right now.”

“Ah, nope, no joke,” Jughead says, rocking on the heels of his feet. “Sorry. Just, uh, one moment I was at Pop’s, eating my usual, and then the next I was in your car.”

“...okay, sure,” Betty finally says. “Might as well happen. You don’t have any idea why you’re here?”

“Nope, sorry,” Jughead shrugs. “Um… what are you doing right now? It’s not weird, is it?”

“Why do you care about something like that?” Betty raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re Jughead?”

“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” Jughead protests. “I mean… you know, the other kind of weird. With Archie, and Ronnie, and stuff.”

“Sure, I get it,” Betty says, not getting it. “Um, I’m looking for Ethel.”

“Ethel,” Jughead nods. “In the woods. Yes, of course. Why’s she out here?”

“We were going to meet her so that she could lead us to Dilton’s secret bunker, but she’s not here,” Betty huffs. “I don’t suppose you know anything about finding stuff in the woods?”

“Oh, not a clue!” says Jughead. “Let’s just choose a random direction and go from there.”

“You’re coming?” Betty asks, surprised. 

Jughead blinks. “Oh. Uh, if I’m intruding-”

“No, no, investigating the woods alone sounds awful,” Betty shudders. “It’d be really nice if you came.”

“Yeah. Yeah, no problem!” Jughead grins. “Besides, all that might be connected to why I’m here! I mean, I don’t actually really know what all that is, because your explanation was very brief, and I am missing a lot of context, but you know.”

“It’s a lot to explain,” Betty smiles sheepishly. “I’ll just… tell you about anything that comes up.”

“Yep, okay, sounds cool to me,” Jughead nods. “Hey, is it just me or is there a conspicuous foot trail over there?”

Betty turns- there is, in fact, a conspicuous foot trail over there. “We should follow it.”

“I’ve always wanted to see the inside of a bunker,” Jughead remarks conversationally. 

“Well, hopefully today will be your lucky day,” Betty jokes. 

She steps over a fallen log, grimacing as her jeans catch on a bush. Jughead trails along behind her, weird crown hat getting knocked off his head by branches every so often. 

“It’s getting dark out,” Jughead remarks after they’ve been hiking for a bit. Probably would have been a good idea to head out earlier. “Do you have a phone? Can you turn on the flashlight?”

“Do you not have a phone?” Betty asks. She pushes a branch out the way and ducks under it.

“I’m pretty sure it got left behind in my dimension,” Jughead says. “But it’s kind of hard to- gah!”

“Oh, sorry, sorry!” Betty turns around. “Are you okay?”

Jughead moves the branch out of his face. “Yep, all good here. I mean, a little scratched up, but my eyes are intact, so you know.”

“Thank goodness,” Betty snickers, and turns her cell phone’s flashlight on. The light reveals a clearing, opening up at the end of the path. “Oh, here it is, I think.”

She and Jughead hurry to the opening in the trees. Betty slowly moves the light around the clearing until the center of it is made obvious- an altar to the gargoyle king.

“Huh,” says Jughead, moving towards it. “You know, I didn’t expect the entrance to be quite so cult-y, but you’ve gotta admit that it’s a cool way to-”

“Jughead,” Betty hisses. “I don’t think this is Deltin’s base.”

“Aww,” says Jughead. “...what is it, then?”

“...the gargoyle king,” Betty whispers. 

“What?” says Jughead. He stops and frowns at her. “Why do you sound so serious? Is that a bad thing? What’s-”

The gargoyle shifts. Jughead and Betty freeze. 

“I’m getting the feeling that that’s a bad thing,” Jughead whispers. 

Slowly, the gargoyle king begins to crawl towards them. Betty grabs Jughead’s arm and pulls him back towards the path. It picks up speed, and the two of them turn around and run. Betty pants as they print through the undergrowth, dodging the same logs and branches she did on her way in. Jughead stumbles and she pulls him forward, doing her best to ignore the sounds of the gargoyle king crashing through the foliage behind them. 

“The car!” Jughead shouts after what feels like an eternity. Betty fumbles her keys into her hand and unlocks it as quickly as she can. Jughead dives into the backseat, she floors it, and the gargoyle king chases after. 

“It’s following?!” Jughead says indignantly, sitting up to put a seatbelt on. “Doesn’t that thing know that chase scenes end once you get in the car?” 

“Why are you in the back? Crawl up in the front!” Betty says. 

“I didn’t want to walk to the other side of the car!” Jughead says, crawling up to the front while looking over his shoulder at the gargoyle king. “This way was faster!”

Betty spins the wheel wildly as she flies around the corner, the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her ears. The gargoyle king is still chasing them, a looming shadow in her rearview mirror. She speeds back into Riverdale, and finally, it slows to a stop.

“Okay,” Jughead wheezes, twisting back around to face forwards. “Note for the future: that thing’s not a fan of the town.”

“For the future,” Betty echoes, and then wheezes out a laugh. She parks the car, not really caring where, and glances back at Jughead. He’s smiling, breathless, and she grabs his shoulders and goes in for a kiss.

“Woah woah woah woah woah!” Jughead practically shouts, pushing her away and scrambling for the door handle. “Uh, I mean, I’m flattered, but-”

“You’re not my Jughead, and I’m not your Betty,” Betty finishes. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I was just… caught up in the moment.”

Jughead stares at her. 

“...I mean, it was just- a first instinct kind of thing,” Betty elaborates. “Because if my Jughead was here, I would have kissed him.”

Somehow, he looks even more confused. 

“Because he’s my boyfriend,” Betty says. “Jughead. From this universe, this is.”

“Oh,” Jughead says, voice mildly strangled. 

“Don’t tell me that’s so impossible?” Betty tries to tease him. “I mean, whoever you’re with, I can’t be that far off, right? You recognized me when I knocked on the car window.”

“Oh, well, yeah, um, I know you, yeah,” Jughead laughs awkwardly. 

“Oh, I see how it is,” Betty knocks her elbow into his. He shifts further backwards. “You’re with someone else back in your dimension, right? How do I compare to her?”

“Uhhh, no, don’t have a girlfriend,” Jughead says. He rubs the back of his head. 

“...boyfriend?” Betty guesses. 

“Haha, no, no partner, nothing like that,” Jughead says. “Um. How long have you and that other guy…?”

“A while, now,” Betty says, squinting at him. “I mean- we were friends for so long, and after Archie rejected me- it was just the most natural step, right?”

“Oh,” says Jughead quietly. “Right.”

“... romantic troubles back home, then?” Betty asks. “I’m not half-bad at navigating drama myself, you know. It might be nice to tell me about them, since I’m not really involved- well, if it’s the other dimension’s me, that might kind of- you get the point!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jughead laughs awkwardly. “Um. No, though. I mean, thanks. I don’t really have any drama to tell about, though.”

“Aww, are you the kind of guy to just pine?” Betty laughs. “That’s cute. Very Jughead.”

“Well actually it’s more like I just don’t like anyone ever in that kind of way,” Jughead says in a rush. “So.”

“Sorry?” Betty says. “I’m not sure- you’re saying you don’t get crushes?”

“Nope,” Jughead says. 

“You don’t fall in love?” Betty asks. 

“Uh, nope,” Jughead says. 

Betty frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Yes?” Jughead shakes his head. “Look, I think we can agree that there are more important things going on right now. Like the fact that we’re in front of Pop’s and can go get some grub.”

“Oh… you’re right, I’m pretty hungry,” Betty realizes. 

“Also we should talk about the gargoyle king thing, maybe, because that was sort of freaky,” Jughead says, swinging the door open. “By the way, I am flat broke right now.”

“You’re…?” Betty snorts. “Of course. Don’t worry, I’ll foot the bill.”

“Ah, you’re an angel,” Jughead says wistfully. 

Pop looks up as they walk in and nods. Jughead salutes him and settles into a booth. Betty slides in across him. 

“Hey, Pop!” Jughead calls. “Uh… two burgers, a chocolate malt, a large fry, and whatever the lady wants.”

“You’re going to eat all that?” Betty asks doubtfully. 

“What? I’m- you’re doubting my ability to eat?” Jughead blinks. “That wasn’t even that much! Dude, what happened in this universe?”

“Um,” says Betty, and glances back at Pop. “I’ll just take a burrito and a coke.”

Pop nods and heads back to prepare their order.

“Sooo,” Jughead says, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. 

“What’s your dimension’s version of me like?” Betty blurts out. 

“Oh,” says Jughead. “Well… she’s big on journalism stuff. She’s really smart- don’t tell her I said that, though, I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Okay,” says Betty. 

“She’s tangled up with Archie and Ronnie and… all that,” he says, wrinkling his nose. “But she’s still pretty cool, I think.”

“You said you know her?” Betty prompts him. “Like, how well do you know her?”

“Oh,” says Jughead, shifting uncomfortably. “Well, she’s probably one of my closest friends.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Betty says. “So, if Archie-”

“No, I’d literally never, ever consider getting with her,” Jughead said adamantly. “And it’s not- I don’t do romance. Not with her, not with anyone.”

“...if you say so,” says Betty. 

Awkward silence descends. Betty pulls out her phone and pretends to scroll. Jughead stares out the window, lips pressed together. 

It’s just so weird. Everything about this Jughead is so odd. Every once in a while, his snark will line up in a way that’s almost familiar, and then he’ll smile goofily in a way that her Jughead never has. He seems softer, in so many ways, and yet he’s even more guarded than the Jughead she knows when it comes to romance. She wishes she knew what kind of life he was living in the other universe.

“Order up,” says Pop, breaking the silence as he slides a tray of food down. 

“You are the greatest person who has ever lived,” Jughead says, deadly serious. Pop squints at him and then heads back behind the counter. 

“You really like this place, huh?” Betty muses. 

“Um, yeah?” Jughead says. “It’s so weird, not knowing Pop all that well. I guess the other version of me doesn’t come here all that often.”

Betty shrugs. “I mean, it’s not like he’s not around.”

“No, but you know…” Jughead trails off and inhales half of the fries. “I practically live here. Pop’s isn’t just a place to eat, it’s a lifestyle, yaknow?”

“Um,” says Betty. “Not really.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t get it,” Jughead agrees. He reaches for his malt and begins devouring that too.

“...okay,” says Betty. “I think- I think we need to talk about how you plan on getting home.”

Jughead shrugs. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t know how I’m here. Why not ask Dilton? That guy’s usually got his head screwed on tight when it comes to things like that, right?”

Betty stares at him. “Oh, um. Jughead, Dilton’s dead.”

Jughead blinks a couple of times and then takes a bite of his burger. “Okay. Damn. Um, what’s Archie up to?”

“Juvie,” Betty sighs. “He didn’t kill anyone, obviously, but you know how-”

“Betty,” Jughead says. “What am I up to? I mean, besides kissing you apparently?”

“...you’re in a gang,” Betty says slowly, sipping her coke. “We’ve been investigating- a lot of things, together, I guess. I don’t know, Jughead, there’s a lot.”

“A gang? You know, somehow the kissing’s still weirder,” Jughead mutters. He pinches his forehead. “Okay, so Archie’s in the slammer, I’m probably about to be in the slammer, you’re investigating whatever that thing outside was, Dilton’s dead- don’t tell me anything else, I don’t wanna know.”

“I told you it was a lot,” Betty says. 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” says Jughead. “What are the odds the reason I’m here and your Jughead’s not is something from your dimension instead of mine?”

“...I don’t know,” says Betty. 

“Me either,” Jughead sighs. “I mean, I hope it’s something here, because that means I can do something about it, but like… we really have no way of knowing.”

“Oh,” says Betty. “Okay. Okay, Jughead, here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to help me smooth everything over in this version of Riverdale, and hopefully along the way, we’ll undo whatever pulled you here.”

“That’s so much work,” Jughead complains, slumping against the table. “But fine, sure, why not. When do we start?”

“Tomorrow,” says Betty. “I’ll grab you after school.”

“Sure,” says Jughead. He stands up. “See you then, I guess.”

Betty watches him leave as Pop comes over with the check. She slides her card over absentmindedly, and begins planning their next move.

- - -

“Jughead,” Betty grabs his shoulder just as he’s starting to leave. He shrugs off her hand and turns around to look unimpressed in her general direction.

“Can you stop that?” he asks. 

“Stop what?” Betty shakes her head. “Jughead, we need to get started on-”

“The touching,” he says. “All the grabbing, all the time. Or at least give a guy some warning.”

“...sure, I guess,” says Betty. 

“Oh, and by the way, my house is not in the same place,” Jughead says. “No one’s houses are in the same place! Ended up sleeping on some random bench. You’re lucky I found my way to school this morning.”

“Oh,” says Betty. “Uh, sorry. I guess I’ll show you where that is, later.” Or maybe she shouldn’t- she has a feeling this Jughead wouldn’t last a day around the Serpents.

“S’fine,” Jughead shrugs. “Anyways, you were saying? Plan for the day?”

“...right,” Betty clears her throat. “We need to find Ethel, find Dilton’s bunker, and then proceed from there.”

“Right-o,” Jughead nods. “Are we splitting up on that, or…?”

“No, we need Ethel to find Dilton’s bunker,” Betty explains. “I mean… everything that happened last night should be a clear enough indicator of that, I think.”

“Fair enough,” Jughead agrees easily. “Okay, let’s go find Ethel. Ugh. Wait, no, forgot, nothing here’s the same. Finally, a change of pace I can get behind.”

“What are you talking about?” Betty asks. 

“Uh, just tell me about this world’s Ethel,” Jughead says. 

“...she knows something about the gargoyle king, but she won’t tell us,” says Betty. “She was dating Ben before-”

Jughead does a little fist pump. 

“...dude,” Betty says. “Oh! There she is! Ethel!”

Ethel freezes, and then slowly turns around to meet Betty’s eyes. “...Betty. Jughead.”

“Ethel,” Betty replies frostily. “You wanna let us know why you ditched us yesterday?”

Ethel shifts uncomfortably. “You really shouldn’t be looking into this stuff.”

“Actually, I think we should,” Betty fires back. “Are you going to tell us the truth or are we going to have to get the sheriff involved?”

“No!” Ethel bites out. “No, you can’t do that. You can’t tell any adults, or the gargoyle king will find out.”

“...and this guy doesn’t want you telling adults because?” Jughead asks. “Seems kinda shady to me.”

“Look, Ethel,” Betty says. “You can tell us, right?”

“...right,” Ethel agrees reluctantly. 

“So why don’t you take us down to the bunker right now, and we go from there?” Betty presses. 

Ethel glances at Jughead. “Fine,” she mutters. 

“Oh, for real?” Jughead grins. “Nice!”

Ethel trudges her way to the bunker, and Betty stays close on her heels the entire time. As the three of them descend down the latter into the bunker, Jughead whistles. 

“Nice place,” he remarks. 

“Let’s look for clues,” Betty says. 

She begins turning over any papers she can find, searching for anything that seems important. Jughead stands awkwardly behind her. 

“Um… what kind of clues are we looking for?” he asks tentatively. 

“Anything to do with the gargoyle king,” Betty replies. “Or Gryphons and Gargoyles, or suspicious murders, I guess. Anything suspicious.”

“Gotcha,” says Jughead. “...Gryphons and Gargoyles?”

“It’s a roleplaying game,” Ethel informs him. “Me and-”

“Wait wait wait you’re telling me that one of the deep mysterious mysteries going on here is just DND?” Jughead cracks his knuckles. “Can I see the manual?”

“No!” Ethel shrieks. “That’s the scripture for- you’re not worthy!”

“Ouch,” Jughead grins. “Okay, how do I get worthy?”

“...there’s a trial,” Ethel admits. “But- but Betty can’t come. She’ll never be worthy.”

“Hey, no, be nice,” Jughead says. “Betty’s totally worthy. Capable of being worthy. Whatever. Come on.”

“Jughead, we don’t need to see the manual,” Betty says. 

“Hey, there could be important stuff in there!” Jughead protests. “I mean, Gryphons and Gargoyles? The Gargoyle king? There is a clear connection there.”

Betty purses her lips. “...Ethel, can you please show us the rulebook?”

“No,” Etho snaps. “I told you, neither of you are worthy to look at the scriptures.”

“...you have a point,” Betty admits to Jughead. “There’s a good chance that there’s something important hidden in those books. Ethel, show them to us. Now.”

“We can do the trial if you really want us to,” Jughead adds. 

Ethel hesitates, and then sighs. “Fine. Come with me.”

The three of them settle down at a table in the bunker. Ethel deals out a couple of cards to herself and Jughead. 

“Do you have any dice? Do we need dice?” Jughead asks. 

“No,” says Ethel. “Anyways, there’s three classes: Radiant Knight, Arcane Invoker and Hellcaster.”

“I will choose Arcane Invoker, as that is obviously the best one,” Jughead says.

“I think you should choose Hellcaster,” Ethel says, oddly stiff.

“...okay, maybe just go along with it and choose Hellcaster,” Betty says. 

“Fine, fine,” Jughead rolls his eyes. “Hellcaster was a close second, anyways.”

“We can start now,” Ethel declares. 

Betty’s not ashamed to admit that she doesn’t really understand the rules (or point) of the game. Jughead gets really, really into it, flailing about in some weird attempt to emphasize his character’s reactions, and Ethel can’t stop herself from smiling at his antics. Betty pushes down her jealousy- this isn’t her Jughead. He can get along with whoever he pleases. 

She glances at her phone. Everything’s been gone by so quickly, lately- she misses Archie, and her Jughead, and- and a lot of things. It seems crazy that this is just the normal state of their town, now.

“That was the right choice,” Ethel says. Betty startles and snaps back into reality just in time to watch as she reaches under the table and pulls out two cups. “This is the last trial. One has poison, and the other is just kool aid. If you survive drinking, I will give you the scriptures.”

“Cool,” says Jughead.

“Uh, Jughead?” Betty asks. “Are you sure that’s-”

“Even if it is the poison, I’ll be fine,” Jughead says. “My stomach’s made of different stuff.”

“I do not think that is how that works,” Betty says. 

“No, no, trust me, I’ve done this before,” Jughead says, and reaches for a cup. 

“You have to flip a coin,” Ethel interrupts.

“Can’t I just take both and then have the- er, scriptures?” Jughead asks. 

“ No,” says Ethel. 

“Fine, fine,” Jughead sighs, and flips the coin. “Okay, griffin cup it is.”

He chugs it. When the chalice comes down, his lips are blue. 

“You did it,” Ethel breathes. 

“Huh?” Jughead looks around. “Wait, like, I chose right? Or flipped the coin right, or whatever?”

“Now, there is only one trial left before you receive the word,” Ethel says. 

“Hey, wait, you said this was it!” Betty protests. 

“Yeah! You can’t just go around increasing the amount of trials a guy has to go through whenever you want, you know!” Jughead says.

“It’s a simple task,” Ethel assures them. “All you must do is kiss me.”

“Uhh,” says Jughead, taking a step back. 

“Are you sure?” Betty asks, stifling a laugh.

“Yes, it’s in the scripture,” Ethel says. “The Hellcaster kisses the princess, or he does not receive the treasure.”

“I mean do we really need those scriptures?” Jughead laughs awkwardly. “I don’t really think that it’s all that essential to-”

“Jughead, it was your idea to try and get them in the first place,” Betty rolls her eyes. 

“Right, yeah,” Jughead frowns. “I just- I mean, a guy’s gotta have limits, right? Some things just aren’t worth it.”

“You were willing to drink poison to get that thing, but you can’t kiss a girl for it?” Betty raises an eyebrow.

“Yes!” Jughead says, and then pauses. “I stand by that order of severity, for the record.”

“Jughead, come on,” Betty sighs. “It’s not that big of a deal. We’ve already done so much to get here-”

“Sunk-cost fallacy talking,” Jughead mutters. 

“And it’s just a kiss,” Betty continues. “It’s really not a big deal- if you really wanted to help me figure this out, you’d just do it.”

“And that's a strawman argument. Look, I-” Jughead breaks off, frowning. 

“Jughead,” says Ethel. 

“I don’t want to!” Jughead looks away.

“Are you really going to be the one thing stopping us from solving this mystery?” Betty moves her hands to her hips. “You’re being a selfish brat right now- just because you’re head over heels for some other girl out there doesn’t mean-”

“I’m not,” Jughead spits out. He leans forward and gives Ethel the quickest peck anyone has ever witnessed. “Happy?”

“Very,” Betty says, and then holds out her hands expectantly. “Treasure.”

“...as promised,” Ethel says, sounding disappointed as she hands it over. 

“Cool, great, we’re leaving now,” Jughead says. He knocks over the cup of poison as he walks out, expression stormy. 

“W-wait, no!” Ethel blurts out. “This wasn’t how this was supposed to-!”

“Jughead, come on,” Betty calls after him. He doesn’t stop walking. “Jughead, seriously! You’re not really upset about something like that, right? I’m sorry for teasing you…”

Ethel trails after them in a daze- had she really been expecting the kiss of her life, or something? In any case, Betty can’t be bothered to think about it too hard. She catches up to Jughead and grabs his shoulder. 

“What’s with you?” he demands, spinning around and knocking her hand off. “Can’t you just- why are you like this?”

“Why am I like this?” Betty snaps back. “Jughead, you’re being unreasonable about things that don’t matter-”

“ Yes, they do! They matter to me! ” Jughead insists. He takes a deep breath. “Betty, I don’t kiss people. I don’t like it. It’s uncomfortable.”

“It’s just kissing,” Betty replies, baffled. “Even if you’re not attracted to-”

“No, I don’t like it,” Jughead closes his eyes. “I just- can you just take my word for it?”

“...fine,” Betty huffs. “Let’s get back to town and look over this rule book.”

“Okay,” Jughead says. “Okay.”

They climb out of the bunker silently. Ethel doesn’t come with. Betty hefts the rule book under her arm and starts walking.

Chapter Text

“...so,” Archie says, squinting at his friends. “This isn’t our Jughead.”

“Afraid not, my bosom brother,” Jughead sighs dramatically. “I know, you must be terribly disappointed- to come all this way for the sole sake of reuniting with your oldest, dearest friend, only to find him replaced by an imposter- tragic! However, I bring good news! I’m way better than that guy, so you can rest easy at night.”

“Um,” says Archie. “Okay. That’s weird.”

“I’ve been told that I am weird,” Jughead says, sitting up in his chair, eyes twinkling. “In fact, according to our good friend Betty-”

“Nope,” Betty says, slapping her hand over his mouth. “I regret telling you about that. Stop referencing it whenever you get the chance.”

“It’s funny!” Jughead protests, prying away her hand. “It’s objectively hilarious! Who says stuff like that! He’s like a- a facsimile of a human being! It’s so-”

“Okay, Jughead, we get it,” Veronica rolls her eyes. 

“I’m still kind of confused,” Archie admits. “What did any of this have to do with the gargoyle king, and have you even fixed that yet?”

“Oh, we haven’t fixed it, and it wasn’t connected,” Betty reassures him. 

“Oh,” says Archie. “Well. Um.”

“My speakeasy is going well,” Veronica adds conversationally. 

“Okay,” says Archie. “I was- I was going to say that I still don’t think I’m safe here.”

“Well, obviously,” Jughead agrees. “This place is nuts.”

“As long as your dad is here,” Archie looks at Veronica. “I don’t think I can stick around.”

She’s silent for a long, hard moment. “You’re leaving?”

“I think I have to,” Archie admits. “There’s no telling what could happen to me if I stay.”

“Oh,” Betty says quietly. 

“...you know,” Veronica says quietly. “Maybe it’s for the best. I mean… we don’t have to stay, either.”

Archie blinks. “You mean- you’d come with me?”

“If you’d have me,” Veronica says.

“You’re our friend, Archie,” Betty chimes in.

“I’d love that,” Archie replies honestly. “But- you just got the speakeasy up and running, and Betty- you need to-”

“I think I can decide what I do and don’t need to do,” Betty folds her arms and smirks. 

“You guys…” Archie grins. “Jughead, are you going to be okay holding down the fort without us?”

Jughead blinks at him. “Wait, I’m not coming?”

“You, er, want to come?” Archie fumbles, equally surprised. “Aren’t you trying to find ways back to your dimension?”

“There's not much for me to find,” Jughead shakes his head.

“And- the serpent stuff,” Archie tries. “Don’t you have to deal with that?”

“Snakes?” Jughead frowns.

“We, uh, haven’t gotten around to explaining the details of everything to him yet,” Betty cuts in sheepishly.

“Yeah, you still haven’t shown me where my house is,” Jughead complains. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, your floor’s nice, but a guy can only take so much before he starts getting suspicious.”

Archie pictures this version of Jughead interacting with anything to do with the gang and shudders. “Okay, actually probably a good call on Betty’s part.”

“Thanks,” Betty says dryly. 

“So,” Veronica interjects crisply. “The four of us will be leaving. Together. When are we meeting up, and whose car are we taking?”

“I was going to leave as soon as we were done talking,” Archie admits, rubbing the back of his head. “If you guys need to go pack, though, I get it.”

“Right,” Betty stands up. “I’ll be back in twenty. Jughead, do you need me to show you your house so you can raid it…?”

“Archie can,” Jughead shrugs. “It’d be quicker.”

“Then we’ll meet back here as soon as possible,” Veronica decides. Everyone nods, and heads out.

“So,” Archie says as he starts walking beside Jughead. “You and- oh, turn left here, we’re going south-side- you and Betty, huh?”

“...she has a boyfriend,” Jughead finally settles on, pinning Archie with a look that very clearly says drop it.

“Dude, I know that,” Archie says, raising his hands in surrender. “But also, that boyfriend’s you, so you’ve absolutely got a-”

“I’m not interested,” Jughead says, rolling his eyes. “Geez, you’re really the same in every universe, huh?”

“Hey,” Archie says, offended and not quite sure why. “I’m plenty different from that other guy. I bet he’s- um- never been in a fight club?”

“Well, that’s fair,” Jughead grins. “I’ll be sure to let him know that his best friend resume is severely lacking when I get back.” 

“Yeah?” Archie laughs. “I mean- yeah, man! You better!”

It’s almost more surreal than anything else that’s happened over the past year, which is saying something. This Jughead is so much lighter than the one Archie knows. He smiles so easily, and cracks jokes- real jokes! It’s almost too much.

“You wanna give me the rundown of what happened with- the, uh, gargoyle king, was it?” Archie says, eager to keep the conversation going.

“Oh, sure!” Jughead says. “Uh, so, I was just chilling at Pop’s- back at my universe- and one moment I was there, and the next I was in Betty’s car. I hiked out into the woods with her-”

“Why?” Archie interrupts. 

“Why not? I didn’t know where I was, really,” Jughead shrugged. “Figured I might as well, if I ended up in her car.”

“Right,” says Archie. 

“And then… we hunted down Ethel, and made her take us to Dilton’s bunker,” Jughead recounts. “We played some knock-off DND for the right to look at the rulebook for said DND, and then the day after that everyone at school had a rulebook for it so like what was even the point, you know?”

“Totally,” Archie says. “Wait. No, not at all.”

Jughead snorts. “She made a big deal about it- like, how the rule book was special, and how you had to be worthy to see it, and the next day it’s literally everywhere. It was actually really annoying.”

“Oh, okay,” Archie nods. 

“Then we played some DND- sorry, knock-off DND,” Jughead shrugs. “That’s about it. Nothing too exciting happened. Apparently the other Jughead is in a gang, but I haven’t seen anything connected to that yet.”

“Ahaha,” Archie laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, that’s… probably for the best.”

“I take offense to that, you know,” Jughead says, smirking. “I’m not completely incapable. Just a little lazy.”

“Right, right,” Archie agrees. “Oh- we’re here.”

Jughead pauses to examine the trailer. “Okay. Cool.”

“And, um- Jughead?” Archie grabs for his shoulder, but Jughead moves out of the way before he can make contact. “Your… um, the other Jughead’s dad…”

“Oh,” Jughead frowns. “Is he around right now?”

“I don’t know,” Archie says. 

“Well, let’s just head in and hope for the best,” Jughead shrugs. He strides forward and swings open the door- and because nothing good ever happens to Archie, FP is sitting in the arm chair in the corner. 

“Wh- Jughead?” he snaps, closing his magazine. “Finally decide to show your face after ditching your old man again? You know-”

“I’m not Jughead,” Jughead says, and then walks into the bathroom.

“That’s the bathroom,” Archie says helpfully. 

Jughead walks out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. 

“That’s the kitchen,” Archie says. 

“Oooh,” says Jughead, and then he begins searching the cabinets. 

“What?” FP says. “Hey, you. Archie.”

“Yes, sir?” Archie says. 

“What’s wrong with him?” FP asks, brow furrowed. 

“...that’s a long story,” Archie finally says. “But, uh… he’s Jughead. Kind of. Not our Jughead.”

“Not our Jughead,” FP repeats. 

“A Jughead from another dimension,” Archie says. 

“Do you guys want omelets?” Jughead asks. “I’m hungry, and you’ve got enough stuff here to make an omelet.”

“A… a different Jughead…” FP stares at Jughead. “How long’s this been going on?”

“I’m not sure,” Archie admits. “I only just got back in town.”

“That’s right,” FP muses. “Hey. Jughead.”

“Sup,” Jughead says as he dices wilting chives. 

“How long have you been here?” FP asks. 

“About a week,” Jughead says. 

“Why haven’t you been back home?” FP asks. 

“I didn’t know where it was,” Jughead replies. “Do you want chicken in your omelet? I’m a big chicken fan, but I know some people think that chicken and eggs shouldn’t mix. Something about the two parts of the bird’s life cycle eaten together being unnatural.”

“No one thinks that,” Archie says quietly. 

“Okay, cool,” Jughead says, and pulls out a frying pan. 

“Anyways,” Archie says. “Um, me and Jughead… this Jughead… we were going to head out of town.”

FP grunts. 

“We’re trying to find out how to get our Jughead back,” Archie adds, even though that’s not really true. “So I guess I was just wondering… can I grab like, some clothes and stuff for this Jughead? And maybe a toothbrush?”

“What’s he been wearing up to now?” FP demands. 

“Uhh…” Archie squints at Jughead. “Are- are those Betty’s clothes?”

“Hm?” Jughead asks as he swirls around the egg. “Oh, yeah.”

“I wouldn’t have thought that they’d fit…” Archie says. 

“She had some baggy stuff,” Jughead says. “You know.”

Archie doesn’t. 

“Well,” FP says, interrupting his confusion. “You can take the stuff. If you want. Just make sure Jughead gets it back when he comes home.”

“Yes, sir,” Archie says, and heads off into Jughead’s bedroom to grab anything the other Jughead might need. 

It’s weird, being in here with Jughead- weird, because being in Jughead’s room has always been weird. It’s too impersonal, too clean to really belong to anyone. Archie quickly pulls out Jughead’s old duffle bag from the closet and tosses some clothes into it. A toothbrush, deodorant, his laptop- is anything else really necessary? 

Well, probably not, considering the fact that Jughead has been living without all of it. Archie zips the bag closed and heads back out into the living room/kitchen area. 

“Omelet,” Jughead points helpfully to an omelet in between bites of his own. 

“Oh,” says Archie. “You didn’t have to.”

Jughead squints up at him. “I asked if you wanted one?”

“Yeah,” Archie says. 

When it becomes clear that Jughead will offer up no further explanation, Archie sits down and takes a bite.

It’s divine. It’s better than anything Archie has ever tasted in his entire life. He’s hungry, and running on fumes, sure, but somehow he gets the feeling that his hunger isn’t the only reason the omelet’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. The egg is fluffy, and the cheese is gooey, but not too runny. The chive adds just enough flavor to make it intense without being overwhelming, and the old rotisserie chicken that Jughead threw in grounds the whole thing, adding a nice contrasting texture. 

“Jughead,” Archie chokes around the piece of heaven in his mouth. “You made this? In ten minutes?”

“Sure,” says Jughead. “Omelets really aren’t hard once you get the hang of them.”

“You’re a genius,” Archie says, and then shovels the rest of it into his mouth as fast as possible.

“Mhg,” FP says, but he’s hunched over the counter shoveling egg into his mouth, so it might not even be a dismissive comment. Maybe he’s just too busy eating to properly compliment Jughead. 

“Okay,” Jughead says, standing up. “Uh, mister- I didn’t actually catch your name. Not-dad, can you do the dishes? We gotta scoot.”

FP grunts dismissively, and Jughead nods as though that meant anything. Archie shovels the last of the omelet into his mouth, grabs the duffle bag, and they run away while FP is still distracted by food. 

“Dude,” Archie says once they make it down the block. “That omelet.”

“Yeah?” Jughead says, amused. “Maybe I should start charging for them.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” Archie says seriously. “That was quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever tasted in my life.”

“Hmm,” says Jughead. “I’ll keep that in mind once I open up a restaurant.”

“I hope you’re not joking,” Archie says. “You really should be a chef. I mean, you’re already a chef.”

“Uhuh,” Jughead smirks. “...you can’t compliment me about my food until you’ve tried more than one dish.”

“You can make more?” Archie perks up. 

“Wh- you were willing to endorse a whole restaurant and you thought I could only make omelets?” Jughead snorts. “I don’t know that any place could stay in business with just one item on the menu.”

“No, Jughead, you don’t understand,” Archie insists. “That omelet was just that good.”

“...thanks,” Jughead smiles. “Um, unrelated, but do you know where we’re meeting?”

“Oh,” Archie blinks. “We forgot to decide that part.” 

“Ah,” says Jughead. “Whoops.”

“Let’s just go back to where we were originally,” Archie says. “I think that might be the plan. Ronnie’ll probably bring her car, or something.”

“Sounds good to me,” Jughead says. 

- - -

It’s late. Archie yawns as he reaches over to turn down the music. The long, winding highway stretches on and on in front of him. Veronica took the first shift on the road, but after she got tired, she retired to shotgun and Archie took the wheel. She’s dozing, now, and Betty’s asleep in the back, too.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Jughead says quietly, shoving some licorice up towards him. 

“I’m not, I’m not!” Archie protests, voice low. “I’ll take any other snacks you have to offer, though.”

“Sure thing,” Jughead says, passing forward an entire package of oreos.

“Where do you get these things?” Archie hisses, desperately trying to stifle his laughter. “I swear you didn’t have this many snacks when we got in the car.”

Archie glances at Jughead through the rear-view mirror; he’s leaning forward, smiling wolfishly.

“Betty smuggled them in her purse,” Jughead whispers.

“What- smuggled? The car’s not a movie theater!” Archie snickers. 

“Well, you know how it is,” Jughead says airily. “With the way the economy’s looking…”

“I don’t know how it is!” Archie wheezes. “That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Of course it does!” Jughead says. Archie glances at him again- the smile on his face begs to disagree. 

“Oh, whatever,” Archie scoffs. They fly by a billboard advertising a defense attorney. Archie adjusts his grip on the steering wheel.

“Shh,” says Jughead, as if he wasn’t being just as loud twenty seconds ago. “The girls are sleeping.”

“Right,” Archie agrees, lowering his voice. “Wouldn’t wanna wake them up.”

Jughead grins again, eyes twinkling. “But of course, my good friend! They deserve their beauty sleep.”

Archie snorts. “The funny thing is that I’m pretty sure you mean that, too.”

“What are you talking about?” Jughead asks quietly. “Don’t you know I’m always one-hundred percent completely sincere? Never sarcastic? Every word that leaves my mouth is my genuine opinion. I’m shocked that you’d doubt me.”

Archie shakes his head silently, smiling so hard it almost hurts. “Wow. You know, Juggie-”

The thought strikes him suddenly, and his fingers go cold. The atmosphere shifts with it, and the warm, comfortable thing Archie has been keeping on his chest evaporates. 

“...yeah?” Jughead asks. He still seems at ease. 

“I’ve never seen you smile this much,” Archie blurts out, and then sort of regrets it. 

Jughead doesn’t really react, though. He just blinks and then tilts his head and waits for Archie to continue, a little curious if anything. 

“Um,” Archie says, quieter. “The other you, I mean. He doesn’t really smile. Not like this.”

“Huh,” says Jughead. He pauses, and then smirks. “I guess that’s because he can’t make very good omelets.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Archie hesitates. “I, um… it’s nice. It’s all I wanted to say.”

“Oh,” says Jughead. “Well, you know. I’m really quite selfless. Some might call me a philanthropist.”

“You also really can’t take a compliment, huh?” Archie snickers. 

“I’m literally bragging right now,” Jughead scoffs. “But by all means, continue to feed my ego. I enjoy it.”

Archie shakes his head. “You know what I mean.”

It doesn't feel real. Jughead is- Jughead is Archie’s best friend, but most of the time he’s not even sure what that means. They don’t really hang out anymore. Whatever remnants of the bond they had once shared Archie had salvaged back when things were first starting to fly off of the rails had quickly been lost to the whirlwind of events that had followed. The gap between them had widened and widened and widened until crossing back over it had seemed insurmountable. 

This isn’t his Jughead. He kind of wishes it was. 

“What were things like,” Archie says, pausing to quietly clear his throat. “What were things like back in your world?”

“...calmer, I think,” Jughead muses. “Well- not exactly? I mean, things still happened. It’s not like the concept of a gargoyle king is especially weird to me, you know? It’s more like… everything is more serious here.”

“Huh,” says Archie. Another car drives past, white headlights blinding him for a split second as speed by. “Um, are the four of us still friends?”

“Oh, totally,” Jughead pauses. “My version of you gets caught up with my versions of Veronica and Betty, sometimes, but we’re friends, still.”

He doesn’t sound quite sure of it.

“Both?” Archie asks. “Wait, where do you slot into that?”

“I don’t,” Jughead says, looking a little irritated.

“Oh, dude,” Archie says. “That sucks.”

“Not- look, I don’t want to get involved in that mess,” Jughead says. “I don’t do romance.”

“...still sucks,” Archie says. “If all my friends hooked up, I’d get lonely.”

Jughead frowns, pensive. “I… yeah, I guess it does suck a little bit sometimes. They’re… they’re not jerks, though. A little insensitive, sometimes, but they’re trying.”

“That’s good,” Archie says. 

“Yeah,” says Jughead. 

Archie slowly guides the car along a long, open turn, easing up on the gas pedal as he does so. “Are you… um, that is- are we being okay about it?”

Jughead is quiet for a beat. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean,” Archie bites his lip. “Me and Veronica- we’re together, and she and Betty have a- a thing, going on, sometimes, and I mean, me and Betty honestly could have-”

Archie pauses, struggling for words as he passes a blue minivan. Jughead is silent. 

“I guess what I’m asking is- are we leaving you out?” Archie asks. 

“No,” says Jughead. “...no, you’re making plenty of time.”

“Oh, good,” Archie relaxes into his chair. “Um, you do mean that, right? You’re not just saying that to spare my feelings?”

“Pshh, do I seem like the kind of guy to do that?” Jughead scoffs. 

“...yes,” says Archie. 

“Oh,” says Jughead. He frowns. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Archie laughs. “You’re like… I don’t know! It just seems like you would.”

“Heh,” Jughead shakes his head. “...um, I did mean it, though.”

“Okay,” says Archie, flexing his fingers on the wheel. “Cool.”

“Yeah,” says Jughead. “It’s honestly kind of weird.”

“I get that,” Archie says. “I mean- it’s weird for you to be here, you know? Because I’m used to my Jughead. But this is… nice. I really like talking with you.”

“...right,” says Jughead. 

“And Betty- you haven’t really seen it, I know, but she looks happier around you, too,” Archie adds. “You’re really cool.”

“Oh, I know,” Jughead says. “I’m just the coolest, really.”

Archie shakes his head fondly. “I mean it! You’re-”

“Archie,” Jughead interrupts. “I get it.”

“Right, fine,” Archie sighs dramatically. 

Veronica stirs in her sleep. 

“...we should really quiet down,” Jughead whispers. 

“Maybe a little,” Archie agrees.

Jughead stretches as well as he can, stuck in the backseat of a car. “Honestly, I might try and catch a little sleep. Try not to pass out at the wheel and kill all of us.”

“I’ll do my best,” Archie promises, grinning. 

Jughead nods, satisfied, and then learns against the window. After a couple of minutes, his breathing evens out. Archie doesn’t bother trying to suppress his grin as he drives down the dark road.