Archive of Our Own ^beta

Gong Jun sat cross legged on the couch, patiently waiting with his eyes closed. Well, not so patiently; they had to meet family and friends for a birthday dinner in a little under two hours, and he was anxious about traffic. But Zhehan had asked to give him his gift now, and Gong Jun would’ve felt like a monster making him wait.

Though he was taking an awfully long time. “Zhehan?” 

Familiar footsteps hurried back into the living room. “Sorry, I was trying to wrap it but it kept looking like Lufei taped it together. Just keep your eyes closed for another second.” 

Gong Jun snorted. “You might’ve had more luck with Lufei helping.” 

Zhehan chuckled, though he sounded uncharacteristically nervous. “Before you look, it’s okay if you think it’s silly. I can get you something better. But… I wanted to do something personal this year.” 

“Zhehan, I'm sure I’ll love it.” Then Gong Jun opened his eyes to see his gift.

He held a scrapbook. A collage of pictures filled the cover, largely of himself but with a few group shots and scenic views mixed in. As he looked closer, he realized that most of them were from the last several years. Roles he’d played, magazine shoots he’d done, vacation photos he’d taken. 

He looked up at Zhehan, whose smile couldn’t quite mask his tension as he waited for a reaction. “You made this for me?” Gong Jun felt overwhelmed. 

“You’ve accomplished so much over the past few years, and I know how easy it is to let it all blur together, so.” Zhehan took a deep breath. “I wanted you to have something to help remember it all by.” 

“This is incredible.” 

Gong Jun flipped to the first page…

…and laughed out loud.

It was a picture of Wang Yizhou, Zhou Yanchen, and him taken on the set of The Flaming Heart. They were pulling silly faces but Gong Jun remembered very well how nervous he had been on his first set after Word of Honor. Not that they had known at the time what a success it would become but after that summer in Hengdian… Well, acting had never felt quite the same to him since then.

Zhehan leaned closer. “Remember? That was the day I visited you on set.”

“How could I forget? I still can’t believe they let you film the behind the scenes,” Gong Jun huffed incredulously.

“Why not? I can’t accidentally show up on camera if I’m the one behind it,” Zhehan joked, pointing at his temple.

Gong Jun laughed but he supposed that was true. It had been a wondrous feeling back then, suddenly receiving so much support and encouragement where he hadn’t thought it possible.

He turned the page before he could get too lost in his thoughts and immediately felt a big lump creep up in his throat. 

“Hanhan… why include a picture from this production at all?” he asked, visibly struggling to look at the page.

Zhehan cupped Gong Jun’s cheek and gently made him look at him. “Because this, playing Han Ye, is also part of your achievements. It wasn’t easy, but you persisted. And I’m so, so proud of you, Junjun.”

“I...I…” Gong Jun stammered.

“Accept the compliment. I mean it.”

Gong Jun turned away for a moment and wiped at some traitorous tears. “Please flip the page before I’m going to cry for real,” he mumbled.

Zhehan gave him a quick peck on the cheek and obliged.

Gong Jun closed his eyes for a moment, snuggling into Zhehan’s side before he was ready to look at the next page.

He smiled when he saw the pictures Zhehan had chosen from his next drama. Most of them were screenshots from BTS clips of him with his co-stars.

“That was good production,” he said. “We all got along so well.”

Gong Jun pointed at a particular photo that showed him with Xiao Qin and Zhang Duo during a scene in Lin Shen’s office. “It took us eight takes to film this without any of us cracking up.

“I loved Lin Shen,” he continued. “It was nice to play a character with a darker side again.”

“Lin Shen was a great part,” Zhehan agreed. “And I loved your professorial side: all serious and intellectual.”

“You know how much research I did for the role,” Gong Jun said.

“That’s not what I meant.”

 Gong Jun turned to look at him to see that Zhehan was grinning. That very special grin that meant Zhehan was up to something.

“You—!” Gong Jun said, elbowing Zhehan and causing him to collapse with laughter.

“You always prepare so well for your parts,” he wheezed when he was able to speak again.

Gong Jun waited, knowing that despite Zhehan being genuine with his compliments, a ‘but’ was coming.

“But—”

Yep, there it was.

“—you looked very sexy with those glasses.”

“Is that so?”

 Zhehan nodded, a little more serious again.

“Just how sexy?”

“Very.” A quick peck on his mouth. “Very.” Another kiss, this one lingered a little longer. “Very.” This time he kissed Gong Jun properly, his hand sneaking around the back of his neck. “Sexy.” Zhehan whispered as he licked into his mouth.

 Gong Jun forgot all about the traffic and dinner with family and friends as he tried to chase another kiss. Maybe they could say Lufei was sick and cancel the whole thing? A birthday at home with just the two of them would be good too, especially if it started like this…

A finger on his nose stopped him. "No, you don't want to cancel to stay home instead, Mister Very Sexy. Not until you've looked at all the pages, at least."

Gong Jun chuckled and did as he was told, turning the page…only to make a face. "You had to include this one?" he asked with a pleading look to his lover.

"Of course! Why not?"

Gong Jun looked back at the pictures. There were some of him in different suits he had to wear for the role, others with cast members, some from BTS with the dog. It was not a bad memory, but in retrospect…

"I should have played him differently."

"Maybe. Or maybe not. You're thinking that way now after seeing the end result. It's not always easy to find a character's voice on set. But it was still your best acting performance, hands down."

This time, Gong Jun was stunned. "Excuse me?" He didn't do a bad job, but well… His Xu Si was not exactly the kind of man he'd like to meet or be compared with.

But Zhehan was still looking perfectly sure of his words. When he saw Gong Jun's doubt lingering, he pointed at the picture of Gong Jun petting the German shepherd. "Junjun… You were able to make everyone watching that drama believe that you were scared of dogs and didn't like them. You? Not liking dogs? Best performance ever!”

Gong Jun rolled his eyes as he flipped to the next page and grinned, mirroring the Yuechu in the largest photograph. His eyes slid to the equally sizable photo at the center of the opposite page, and he groaned.

"Did you have to include this one?" He demanded. Zhehan poked his side.

"What are you talking about? It suited you so well."

"No it didn't."

"You looked sexy."

"I did not!"

"I think you should grow one for real."

"Da-GE," Gong Jun dissolved into laughter, "I am NOT growing a mustache." He tried to cover the offending photo and Zhehan wrestled with him for a moment before he settled back against Gong Jun’s side, hooking his chin over his shoulder. 

They returned to looking fondly over the rest of the photos.

"Yuechu was fun," Gong Jun commented. Playing Yuechu had been a refreshing return to costume dramas and he had enjoyed immersing himself in the character's youthful and innocent energy, as well as the emotionally intense scenes later in the production. And he'd developed his abilities so much, even though…

As usual, Zhehan seemed to know his thoughts.

"Your voice work and line delivery improved so much, Junjun," he announced. “And even though we couldn’t enjoy it this time… Next time everyone will be able to recognize how hard you worked. I can't wait to see your face and hear your real voice with your next character." He gave Gong Jun’s arm a reassuring squeeze and Gong Jun rested his cheek against Zhehan’s hair. Then…

"Hold on," Gong Jun squinted at a smaller photo in the corner. "Is this a screenshot?"

"Of course!" Zhehan pronounced. "I still can't believe they photoshopped all your body hair out of the production. The audacity." 

“I didn’t know you liked that about me,” Gong Jun mused.

“I like all parts of my laogong,” Zhehan said sweetly, maybe a little too sweetly. The reason for which became clear when Gong Jun turned the page.

His eyes were met with a two-page spread of—well—himself. But unlike the pages before, these two were exclusively in black-and-white; Gong Jun was not only the central, but the only subject.

“Hanhan…Why are these pages sticky?”

Zhehan pulled a face and playfully punched him in the arm. “Very funny, Junjun. If that’s what I was after, I could just look at the photos you sent me yourself. Or videos.” He actually winked.

“True. Zhang-laoshi has his own exclusive Body Issue.”

They shared a laugh and lapsed into silence for a moment as Gong Jun’s eyes roamed over the page, remembering the photoshoot. It was not the first time he’d seen the finished product, but it still felt surreal.

“Some of these pieces felt even more revealing than wearing nothing at all,” he confided. He knew he’d shared this before, but Zhehan listened attentively anyway. “Especially this one.” He placed a finger on the page just below an image of himself wearing an oversize suit jacket and thigh high boots. “I was wearing black trunks underneath, but you can’t tell from the angle the photographer took the shot from. I kept wanting to open the coat just a small amount so you could see I wasn’t naked underneath. Xu-laoshi threatened to tie my hands behind my back.” He laughed.

“I like hearing you talk about work like this,” Zhehan smiled. “You’re really in your element when you’re in front of a camera. It’s why I wanted to highlight more than just your acting roles.”

"Hanhan…"

Something suddenly felt stuck in Gong Jun's throat. He closed his eyes and nuzzled at Zhehan's hair, wishing he could hide his face in the crook of his husband's neck. It was the safest and softest place to be; his favorite spot to hide when the world was mean or when things were just too much. Like now.

The feel of Zhehan's hand brushing his and the sound of a page being turned made him look at the scrapbook again. There would be time later for cuddles, safe from the agitation of the world.

He smiled again, the overwhelming emotions receding to let joy and pride bloom in his chest. "Cannes…" he whispered as he slowly traced the grinning man in that marvelous suit on the page. There were so many pictures, showing him from all angles, with every detail of that amazing creation plain to see.

 "Yes, Cannes… You were stunning in that suit…"

 "This was 2023… Was I not this year?" Gong Jun couldn't help but tease. 

"Of course you were, you always are! It's just…I wanted to remind you of that eye you have for fashion and style. That if you wanted, you could go that way too, you know?"

"Are you telling me we should create Maison Gong Jun and start a business in high fashion?"

 "Why not? Every fashion magazine was talking about that suit, I know, I saved all the articles!" Zhehan declared, always proud of his husband.

 When his gremlin grin returned, though, Gong Jun knew he was up to something.

"But also… When are we watching 'Lost in Japan' again?"

A joyous ‘ha ha ha!’ echoed in their apartment as Gong Jun shook his head, refusing to watch that movie again.

“Let’s see…” Gong Jun wiped a tear from his eye as he turned to the next page, feeling Zhehan’s shoulder shake against his own, still laughing.

The next two pages had little puffy stickers of a cartoon policeman and handcuffs on one with the name ‘Ye Qian’ cut out in big blocky letters. The other had a sticker of a judge, a gavel and ‘Shen Xiezhi’ in more cursive lettering. 

A few pictures had been added to each page with more themed stickers holding them in place.

“These might be some of my favorite roles for you yet. You’re getting into more serious shows now,” Zhehan pressed a kiss to his cheek and then pointed at a cut out picture of him still dressed as Ye Qian and cooking for the cast. “I loved that the directors wouldn’t let the team fix your makeup!” 

Gong Jun rolled his eyes. “Of course you would.”

“I mean, my Junjun, looking so rugged and handsome and on a motorcycle?” A quick glance at one of the other pictures on the page was followed by an eyebrow waggle. “I mean, you could always ride me like that.”

“Hanhan,” Gong Jun whined as he grinned, bumping their shoulders together.

Zhehan’s answer was a laugh and to wrap his arm around Gong Jun’s. 

Pointing to a picture of Gong Jun nearly putting Shen Xiezhi’s briefcase in a dumpster, he continued. “And the fans loved you for doing this.”

Gong Jun nodded, his cheeks hurt from laughing. He let Zhehan continue, feeling him now working on snuggling into his shoulder.

“And I loved seeing you work with the kids.” He pointed to a picture of Shen Xiezhi holding a little girl, both bundled up in winter coats, mid-walk. 

“The kids seemed to like you, too,” Zhehan added as he turned the page. Gong Jun couldn’t help but let out a loud, honking laugh as he saw two pictures of himself in a clown suit. In one, he was tempting children into buying his toys, rather successfully he might add. In the other, he had ended up stuck in a cage thanks to those very same children.

Gong Jun smiled gently as he traced over another picture. Even though the pink changshan the production team had him wear was stunningly gorgeous, the highlight of that memory was the boy in the picture with him, racing ahead energetically. “He's such a good kid. The moment I spoke Sichuan dialect to him, he warmed up to me.”

Zhehan smiled back at him, his eyes soft. “Children can see things that we often miss. They know a good person when they see one.” He gently guided their attention to the opposite page. “And so do your co-stars.”

Tears started welling up in Gong Jun’s eyes as he read over the page full of handwritten notes. Next to a picture of Jia Nailiang, the note said, “I always look forward to seeing Junjun on set. He has grown so much since his first season on Go Fighting. He brings such a positive attitude, and he's so earnest and hard-working. I can always trust him to uphold our deals.”

Nearby, was a picture of Gong Jun bowled over with laughter and Da Zhangwei smiling proudly. “Junjun is a ray of sunshine. I love making him laugh. It's so easy! He makes me feel so much more confident as a comedian. I hope that no matter what happens, he can stay sincere and honest like this.”

Gong Jun flipped to the last page, hoping for some kind of emotional reprieve. He didn’t get one. Su Muyu stared back at him from the scrapbook; from selfies he’d sent Zhehan and shots from filming. This had been one of his most exhausting roles yet, and not just because of the martial arts training and uncomfortable wigs. He’d had to dig so deep to finally grasp this particular character.

Zhehan hooked his chin over Gong Jun’s shoulder and gazed down at the pages. “I’m excited for everyone to see this one, Junjun. You created something really special here, you should be proud.” 

With a sigh, Gong Jun knocked their temples together. “I am, Da-ge. Though if I’m honest, I’m still shedding the last bits of this character.”

“I get that,” Zhehan replied, his expression soft. Then, in an effort to lighten the mood, he grinned. “But that’s all in the past. It’s your birthday! You gotta look ahead!” Miming an interviewer, Zhehan shoved an invisible mic toward his face. “So, Gong-laoshi, what roles are you most excited about in the coming year?” 

Putting on a sincere expression, Gong Jun hit Zhehan with his most lethal puppy eyes. “Why, Zhang-laoshi, I’m most excited about being yours, of course.” As soon as Zhehan blushed and started to open his mouth, Gong Jun flipped them so that Zhehan was now underneath him on the couch, their bodies pressed together. 

“When did you learn that?” 

Gong Jun snorted. “Like I said, I still have a little Su Muyu in here.” Then he lowered his head and pressed their lips together.

Their friends and family were good enough not to comment on how late they were to dinner, or how rumpled both of them appeared.