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MARCH - Beginning of Spring Semester

Kim Dokja wasn’t sure how he found himself in this position. Namely, he was stuck rooming with a younger student—some asshole named Yoo Joonghyuk who’d already claimed the good side of the room without the window and AC unit. He’d claimed it over text, of all things, telling Kim Dokja that he was dead meat if he tried to take his side. 

Kim Dokja was already embarrassed enough to have to use the dorms instead of the campus apartments or an apartment off campus, so rooming with a rude sophomore was a major blow to his ego. He had an allowance from the University that let him afford a dorm which was usually not permitted for juniors and above. Being older than almost everyone else in the building besides individuals who joined the military or who took gap years, Kim Dokja felt like an outsider.

He was used to that by now, but still… He’d hoped the university would be a fresh start. It wasn’t the top school by any means, but it also wasn’t awful, and maybe it’d give him a chance at a better job than what he’d originally been set on. Working as a temp time after time with the hope of becoming salaried was a fate he wished upon no one. 

Kim Dokja set his meager belongings by the bed. There were two suitcases, one large and one small, with an additional small bag for items that he needed immediately, like toiletries. He then began unpacking, methodically putting clothes up in the closet (which Yoo Joonghyuk had also already claimed the better half of, as it wasn’t obstructed by the desk near the window). He put his shower items in a caddy, his toiletries in a clear plastic bag, and tucked his shower shoes by the door because he was not about to contract some foot disease from the gross-ass men in the building. Organizing his desk and setting up his old laptop that desperately needed a new battery because it couldn’t hold a charge, Kim Dokja was done. 

He went to shower, after. He’d worked up a sweat carrying all his things to University, the rideshare he’d chosen accidentally dropping him off at the wrong dorm. Kim Dokja had been too tired to correct him and now regretted it, so he took the time while he still had the energy to clean up. 

The showers, bless the stars above, were clean… at least at that moment. Kim Dokja predicted that they’d get messier as the semester progressed. However, for now, he enjoyed the smell of disinfectant mingling with his body wash. 

Walking back to his room after thoroughly drying and dressing, Kim Dokja let out a deep sigh that echoed down the long hall. He was the only one in the building as he was also permitted early entry due to his financial situation. It turned out that having a low income, absent/dead parents, and grades just good enough for the university was a killer combo. Kim Dokja grimaced after having that thought. The true killer combo was having wealth and stability, but whatever. That wasn’t the hand he was dealt. 

Either way, it meant that there was no one else around. It was just him and himself. Kim Dokja whistled as he approached the dorm room, lackadaisically enjoying the peace that was being totally and entirely alone. 

#

When Kim Dokja woke up the next day, he came to a realization. Who was some punk like Yoo Joonghyuk to boss him around, his senior? Now, Kim Dokja didn’t put too much weight on things like age, but he believed in basic human respect. Was Yoo Joonghyuk a sunfish who would die if he didn’t get exactly what he wanted? Did he have to get his way? Whatever happened to first come, first serve?

Feeling irritated, Kim Dokja spent his first full morning on campus rearranging his room. He moved all his stuff to what would’ve been Yoo Joonghyuk’s side with a satisfied smirk on his face.

That’ll show him…

#

When the introductory week began, Kim Dokja was woefully unprepared for the intense personality that was Yoo Joonghyuk. He was expecting someone who was all bark, no bite because people were often bolder over text than in person, but the younger man felt even more oppressive in person.

Kim Dokja grimaced when the first words out of Yoo Joonghyuk’s mouth were, “You took my side.”

“I didn’t know they assigned sides,” Kim Dokja responded quickly. Compared to his high-school self, he’d grown a lot bolder during his time in college. He wouldn’t be a doormat anymore. The older man’s eyebrow twitched up as he added, “Do you have a problem with that?”

“What do you think?” Yoo Joonghyuk replied, voice deep and drenched in disdain.

“I think it’s a free country,” Kim Dokja said with a smile. He leaned back on his bed, giving the younger man a look that said, “Try me, I dare you.”

Yoo Joonghyuk approached the bed. Kim Dokja expected him to say something frightening, but instead, he found himself being picked up by the armpits and dragged onto the floor. His ass hit the ground painfully, causing him to grunt in pain, and then he was lifted and tossed on the other bed.

“I’ll get the RA,” Kim Dokja said as his last line of defense.

Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow. 

“Move your shit,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, and then he opened a bag and began removing Kim Dokja’s sheets from the other bed before replacing them with his own. Kim Dokja gaped, mouth open like he was trying to catch flies, and stared with wide eyes. 

My roommate is a bitch!

He knew this already, of course, but the fact that Yoo Joonghyuk had the balls to be just as much of a dick in person as he was over text astounded Kim Dokja. 

Kim Dokja stood. He grabbed a pillow and smacked the back of the younger man’s head as hard as he could. Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes widened. 

“Kim Dokja—”

“That’s hyung to you, you brat.”

Yoo Joonghyuk ignored him. “I’m not arguing with you. We determined this prior. Move your shit.”

“No,” Kim Dokja said, standing his ground. 

Yoo Joonghyuk continued changing the sheets. Kim Dokja tried to think of what to do (besides physical violence) and came up short. Now, while he had threatened earlier to grab the RA, that was more of a bluff than an actual path he could pursue. However, there was one alternative.

“You get the crappy side of the closet,” Kim Dokja said.

“Or what? You’ll hit me with a pillow again?”

Kim Dokja sighed. “Can’t we try to move on in relative peace? This is more than a fair offer. You’re getting the better deal.”

“I don’t care about fairness,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered. Kim Dokja prepared to hit him again, but then the younger man continued. “Fine. Take the lefthand side, if it’ll get you to stop bitching.”

I’m gonna fucking kill this guy.

Kim Dokja smiled pleasantly. “I’m glad you’ve seen reason.”

Yoo Joonghyuk let out an exhale that almost sounded like a short laugh. Other than that, Kim Dokja got no response. So, he took the sheets that the younger man stripped from the old bed and put them on his new bed. It was right by the AC, which meant his feet would get cold at night… ugh.

Hopefully, this was the worst of Yoo Joonghyuk. Kim Dokja planned on avoiding him most of the time, anyway. 

#

Their first meeting was not the worst of Yoo Joonghyuk. The man was meticulous, a neat freak, a controlling nightmare, a dreadful night owl whose gaming audio was audible from across the room, and overall, the worst person to live with when trying to maintain grades in your final year of university. 

Kim Dokja learned a lot of things about him quickly. He was a professional gamer who streamed nightly and attended national competitions, had a younger sister who he acted as a guardian for, and was attending university not because he had to, but because he wanted insurance for if his gaming career ever fell flat. He was extremely smart, calculating, and to top it off, very athletic. Kim Dokja watched through the window as the man jogged around campus. He barely broke a sweat.

Now, Kim Dokja wasn’t totally out of shape. Just mostly. He went on the occasional jog, did calisthenics, and ate decently enough to not die of malnutrition. Having a pass for the dining hall helped, of course, and he had been able to eat a bit more than in the past because of it. Yoo Joonghyuk was on another level, entirely, though. He had a fucking sword in the closet for some reason, too, which Kim Dokja didn’t bother asking about because he knew the bastard wouldn’t answer. 

Feeling inadequate compared to Yoo Joonghyuk due to the man’s athleticism, Kim Dokja decided to go to the gym as well. He downloaded an audiobook, put in his earbuds, and walked in the cold to the gymnasium. He put his hands in his pockets and began jogging when the cold started to get to him. Maybe he should invest in a better jacket but ehhhhhhhhhh, that was a lot of money.

Entering the gym, a rush of warm air greeted him. It was warm enough to feel good, but not too hot to make him worry about sweating his balls off. He skipped the locker room, already wearing the sweatpants and loose t-shirt he intended to exercise in, and checked in at the counter with his student ID. Kim Dokja then walked to the main area, looked around, and felt overwhelmed. 

How do you even use most of these machines…?

Eyes scanning the room, Kim Dokja looked for anything familiar. He saw a treadmill and then something that looked like a personal escalator. That looked fun, he thought to himself. It’d make him feel taller, and Kim Dokja liked feeling that way. 

Trying it out, Kim Dokja gave up after three minutes. He stumbled off the machine, putting his hands on his knees as he panted. His hair stuck to his forehead, sweaty as hell, and everything started to look blurry. Was he really that out of shape?

“Pathetic.”

Kim Dokja’s head snapped up to glare at the owner of that familiar voice. Yoo Joonghyuk stood near him, turning on the Stairmaster next to him. If Kim Dokja had the breath, he would’ve said something, but he felt dizzy. Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a look that could almost be considered concerned.

Kim Dokja scoffed once he finally caught his breath, the younger man already marching away on the machine. He watched as Yoo Joonghyuk climbed, his beefed-up thighs showing off their strength with every step. Kim Dokja rolled his eyes.

“Not all of us can be Greek gods,” Kim Dokja scoffed.

“So I’m a god to you?”

Kim Dokja’s cheeks reddened. He hoped the flush from the exercise covered his embarrassment. “You know what I mean.”

“Mhm,” Yoo Joonghyuk hummed. 

The dismissal pissed Kim Dokja off, but he didn’t want to make a scene in public. Instead, Kim Dokja grabbed his bag and went with Plan B: swimming. He headed to the pool locker room and changed into swim shorts. Swimming was much easier on his knees and just as tiring if done over a long duration. He fucked around for a bit, floating on his back while staring at the ceiling.

Stupid Yoo Joonghyuk…

Sighing, Kim Dokja started swimming laps in a lane. He did breaststroke as best he could, eventually getting in the rhythm of it. Turning over in the water, he pushed off the wall and enjoyed the flow of cool liquid over his muscles. It was calming.

Of course, when he finished, his calmness was shattered by Yoo Joonghyuk again.

“Why are you here?” Kim Dokja said when he caught sight of Yoo Joonghyuk.

“Swimming, why else? Dumbass,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered.

He looked Kim Dokja up and down, eyes widening just a fraction. Kim Dokja prepared a witty remark but was cut short when Yoo Joonghyuk pushed him abruptly into the pool. Kim Dokja’s arms wheeled around in the air as he fell with a splash. He yelped, suddenly underwater, and swam up to the surface. A lifeguard was blowing their whistle and yelling at Yoo Joonghyuk when Kim Dokja finally popped up for air.

“What the fuck, man?!” Kim Dokja yelled out.

The lifeguard shouted, “No pushing!” which was as good as a slap on the wrist.

Yoo Joonghyuk ignored both of them. A few minutes later, he came back out and dived into the pool on the opposite end from Kim Dokja. The older man glared before opting to leave the situation before it got worse, marching to the locker room to shower and change.

When he arrived back at the dorm, he was still pissed. 

Neither of them talked to each other for the next 24 hours.

#

It was late at night on their fourth day living together when Kim Dokja finally blew his lid concerning the visual nightmare that was Yoo Joonghyuk’s gaming habit. 

“You need to get a screen or something,” Kim Dokja said when Yoo Joonghyuk stopped streaming for the night. “Something to dim it from other angles.”

Yoo Joonghyuk ignored him. He pulled his shirt over his head (yes, he slept without one) and got into bed. Kim Dokja sat up, reached for his desk, and turned on his lamp. Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him from where he was burying his face into his pillow.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” Kim Dokja asked pointedly. “Like your precious sleep? The thing that everyone needs?”

“A screen protector,” Yoo Joonghyuk stated plainly. “You can’t sleep facing the wall?”

“I prefer sleeping on my left side,” Kim Dokja answered honestly. He raised an eyebrow. “You sleep on your right. I can’t help but notice that this wouldn’t be a problem if we’d never swapped sides.”

“Turn the light off.”

“Why is it so hard to get a screen protector?” Kim Dokja asked. “You’ll still see the screen, and I won’t have to deal with all the flashing. And, while you’re at it, turn down the volume. You’re going to get tinnitus.” 

Yoo Joonghyuk’s lip quirked. “Worried about me, hyung?”

“You…” Kim Dokja put his head in his hands with a groan. “Calling me hyung just to be a dick about it… You’re really special, huh?”

Yoo Joonghyuk turned over to the other side. “Turn off the light and go to sleep.”

Kim Dokja glared, and just to spite him, laid down without turning the lamp off. Five minutes passed before Kim Dokja heard Yoo Joonghyuk get up to turn off the light. When he did, Kim Dokja’s breathing quieted down as the younger man lingered at his bedside. Then, a sharp pain flared against the back of Kim Dokja’s head. The bitch had flicked him.

“Oh, you’re in for it…!” Kim Dokja grumbled, grabbing Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand before he could pull away. He yanked his arm as he stood, but failing to orient himself in the dark, sent the two of them crashing to the floor. Kim Dokja ended up on top of the younger man straddling his waist. Then, Yoo Joonghyuk twisted his arm and Kim Dokja cried out in pain, collapsing forward. He caught himself with his other arm even as his back arched from the angle Yoo Joonghyuk was pulling him. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Kim Dokja cursed. “Let me go!”

“Behave.”

“Oh, suck my dick,” Kim Dokja shot back. Not knowing what to do, Kim Dokja leaned down and bit the first thing he could get his mouth on: Yoo Joonghyuk’s bare shoulder. He latched on, teeth digging in hard enough to bruise but not break the skin. Abruptly, his arm was let go and Kim Dokja was tossed away like a hot potato. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked. Kim Dokja couldn’t see him in the dark.

“Plenty of things…” Kim Dokja grumbled. “Let's just go to sleep.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!” Kim Dokja shot back.

They both got back in their beds with a huff. Little did Kim Dokja know, Yoo Joonghyuk kept poking at the bruise forming on his shoulder, his ears red and warm while he remembered Kim Dokja’s teeth sinking into him. It was hard for Yoo Joonghyuk to sleep that night.

#

When the semester began, Kim Dokja was relieved. He was no longer subjected to Yoo Joonghyuk for most of his time, but rather, just in the morning and late at night. Kim Dokja’s classes started later in the day so he adjusted to a night owl schedule, matching the sophomore’s. He studied late at the library, returned to the dorms after Yoo Joonghyuk stopped streaming (yes, he checked his live status), and went to bed. It was serene. It was almost ideal.

Still, Kim Dokja wasn’t an extreme night owl like his roommate, but the adjustment wasn’t too hard. The real difficulty was the mornings. That was the worst part of his day.

Yoo Joonghyuk woke up before him every morning without fail, and he wasn’t quiet about it. He shuffled around the room, opened the closet loudly, moved things around, scraped his desk chair… you know, the works. The small sounds might as well have been a full orchestra tuning their instruments for all Kim Dokja cared. It was loud!

“Be quiet,” Kim Dokja grumbled around a week into the semester. “Please.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s response to that was to open the blinds. Light streamed in through the window and Kim Dokja groaned.

“You’re so mean,” he murmured. 

“Just wake up and deal with it.”

Kim Dokja rolled over in bed, throwing the blanket off of himself as he stood. His sleep shorts had ridden up, showing off the length of his soft thighs. His shirt had gotten stuck underneath one armpit, too, leading to half of his stomach being exposed. He adjusted himself as he said, “I go to sleep an hour later to accommodate for your streaming. Be grateful.”

When Kim Dokja looked up, the door to their room was slamming shut. He startled. 

“Damn, waking up everyone else now, too…”

#

A couple of weeks into the semester, Kim Dokja became sick of sitting alone. He, much to his chagrin, would rather have some company rather than none, even if the company came in the form of Yoo Joonghyuk. So, when Joonghyuk left for the dining hall one evening, Kim Dokja followed. 

“What are you doing?”

Kim Dokja answered easily, hiding his shame, “Going to eat.” 

After a moment, Kim Dokja tacked on, “What about you?”

“... Same,” Yoo Joonghyuk said as if it pained him.

“Do you want to sit together?” Kim Dokja asked.

Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a pinched look. Kim Dokja held up his hands. “Hey, I just noticed you’re always alone! I don’t want people to think you’re a loser. I’m watching out for my hoobae.”

“Don’t call me that,” Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. “You’re always alone, too.”

Kim Dokja’s ears reddened. “I don’t make friends easily. I’m sure you noticed by now.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s expression became even more pinched, as though the idea of Kim Dokja having trouble making friends was a surprise. It flattered the older man—just a little. He wasn’t delusional. 

The younger man spoke. “You just don’t want to look like a loser, yourself.”

“Oh, no, you caught me!” Kim Dokja said sarcastically. “What if I said the real reason is because I adore your company, huh? What then?”

“I’d say ‘you’re nuts.’”

Kim Dokja nodded solemnly. “Good thing I’m not nuts because enjoying your company would be a total lie.”

Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. He let Kim Dokja sit with him, anyway, though. When they got to the dining hall, Kim Dokja sat down beside him with his tray. They ate in near-silence, but it made Kim Dokja feel a little less alone. In the back of his mind, he knew he liked Yoo Joonghyuk’s company just a little. Their bickering kept him on his toes.

“You need to eat more vegetables,” Yoo Joonghyuk commented. He passed a portion of his to Kim Dokja.

Kim Dokja stared at him before he realized what the guy was doing. “You just want to get rid of yours.”

Yoo Joonghyuk copied his words from earlier but in a dry, flat tone. “Oh, no, you caught me.”

“Shut the fuck up…” Kim Dokja said, voice trailing off at the end.

He ate the vegetables anyway, not catching the pleased expression on Yoo Joonghyuk’s face.

#

Kim Dokja liked his shower routine. He didn’t have money for expensive products, but he did hunt down the cheapest but best-smelling things he could find. They were musky, a little citrusy, and overall, made him smell great. Kim Dokja was big on scents overall, so this habit of seeking delectable smells extended to shampoo, fabric detergent, and air fresheners. It also meant he, regretfully, loved how Yoo Joonghyuk smelled.

Unable to pinpoint the exact source of the scent (he’d never seen the man dabbing on cologne), Kim Dokja assumed it was his body wash or shampoo. It was musky like Kim Dokja’s, a traditionally masculine scent, but it smelled a bit like sandalwood, vanilla, and a few other notes Kim Dokja couldn’t identify. 

He caught the smell on Yoo Joonghyuk when he passed by him. They lived in close quarters, so Kim Dokja also smelled it in general upon entering their room. Their chosen scent profiles matched well, and he enjoyed the blend, the smell for some reason making him a bit dizzy if he thought about it too long.

One day, Kim Dokja went as far as sniffing Yoo Joonghyuk’s singular, flat pillow. The man slept like he was in military barracks, Kim Dokja thought to himself. The scent seemed stronger on the sheets, however, so he realized it was likely his body wash. Snooping through Yoo Joonghyuk’s toiletries, Kim Dokja cracked open the expensive bottle of body wash and sniffed. 

Yep. This is the culprit.

Then, something else caught his eye. Hidden behind his toiletries was a bottle of lube. Kim Dokja’s eyes widened.

He got up and closed the closet.

#

When Kim Dokja went to shower later that week, he realized he’d never gone out to buy more of his body wash and shampoo, which were both running low. He frowned as he poked through his caddy. He’d already done the thing where you fill them part of the way with water to stretch the product out, so if he did it again, it’d do nothing. Kim Dokja glanced at Yoo Joonghyuk’s stuff.

Popping the caps off his bottles, he squirted a little of Yoo Joonghyuk’s shampoo and body wash into his. Kim Dokja just took a tiny bit, which he would then stretch with water until he could go shopping on Friday evening or Saturday morning. Then, he quickly put Yoo Joonghyuk’s toiletries back, like nothing had ever happened.

Hopefully, because they shared a room, the younger man wouldn’t be able to tell. Kim Dokja felt sneaky doing this, and for some reason, it made his cheeks flush red as he washed himself in Yoo Joonghyuk’s scent. It felt weirdly intimate, but Kim Dokja reminded himself he didn’t like the guy very much. Who cared if the man had good taste? It didn’t make up for being a dick. Kim Dokja was probably just embarrassed about having to steal from his roommate. 

He did this for three days. Friday rolled around and Kim Dokja decided to study instead, promising himself he’d go out in the morning to shop. Currently, he was bent over his desk eagerly taking notes as he watched a recorded lecture. It was his studying portion as dictated by the Pomodoro timer that had him alternating between reading webcomics and hitting the books. 

Yoo Joonghyuk entered the room. Kim Dokja’s back was to him, and he paid him no mind as he listened to the lecture through his earbuds. Curled up in his chair, Kim Dokja was a ball of limbs. His foot slipped off the chair when he felt Yoo Joonghyuk touch his shoulder, startled. 

Kim Dokja pulled out his earbuds and paused the lecture before reaching up, ripping Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand off him, and twisting around in his chair to glare at the younger man.

“Paws off,” Kim Dokja said. “What do you want?”

“You’ve been using my shit. Stop.”

Kim Dokja paled. So he noticed? Why didn’t he say something earlier?

Deny, deny, deny!

“Are you sure you’re not slathering yourself in it and now everything smells like you?” Kim Dokja smirked. “You’re like a teenage boy who pours on cologne.” 

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyebrow twitched, face still stamped with that perpetual frown. 

“You’re bad at lying,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. He leaned down and sniffed the crown of Kim Dokja’s head, and when the older man tried to push him away, Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his hair and held him in place. Kim Dokja took a sharp breath as the brute’s face then sniffed the junction of his neck and shoulder, breathing in. Yoo Joonghyuk let out a hum of affirmation. “You used the shampoo and the body wash. Do you not have your own?”

Kim Dokja’s ears turned red. He batted away the hand in his hair and held back a wince when it resulted in his hair being yanked. Yoo Joonghyuk let go, luckily, and stood up straight to give Kim Dokja room. Still, it was embarrassing having to look up at him after being caught.

“I ran out,” Kim Dokja said, overcoming his shame. “I was going to buy some tomorrow morning, and borrowed some of yours because I’d already stretched mine too far with water.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s frown deepened slightly. “You should have asked.”

“Would you have said yes?” Kim Dokja asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Probably not.”

Kim Dokja gave him his best smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Asking for forgiveness rather than permission is so much easier.”

“Don’t forget to buy it tomorrow,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, ignoring Kim Dokja’s words. He turned away from the older man. Kim Dokja watched as the guy opened the drawer of his desk and pulled out the type of earbuds that wrapped around the ears. He realized Yoo Joonghyuk was about to go exercise at the gym or go on a jog. 

“I won’t,” Kim Dokja responded, ears still red. He felt so warm. “Stop nagging.”

“If I want to keep your grimy hands away from my stuff, clearly, you need to be told what to do.”

Kim Dokja threw a pen at Yoo Joonghyuk who dodged it easily. He threw two more pens, the third one finally nailing the man in the pec. It bounced off pathetically. 

He argued, “My hands aren’t grimy!”

Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow, opened a desk drawer, and pulled out a bottle of air freshener. He proceeded to walk over and mist Kim Dokja with it. The older man closed his eyes, coughed, and fanned the spray away. He could taste it on his fucking tongue!

Batting the bottle of air freshener out of Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand, the can went flying across the room, hitting the wall. The top broke off and the can started spraying its contents everywhere, spinning in circles on the floor like a fucking smoke grenade. 

“Shit!” Kim Dokja shouted. Panicking, he flapped his arms around briefly before realizing he needed to contain the spray. Grabbing Yoo Joonghyuk’s blanket off his bed, he tossed it over the errant can, suppressing the spewing of air freshener. Kim Dokja could feel the menacing aura of Yoo Joonghyuk’s anger emanating from behind him. 

Kim Dokja doubled down. “If you hadn’t sprayed me, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyebrow twitched. His lip curled into a scowl. 

“Wash and dry the blanket or I’m stealing yours,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, and then promptly put his earbuds in as he exited the room. Kim Dokja, guiltily, realized it was best if he obeyed. 

The dorm’s laundry unit was his best friend that night. He was studying in there with his laptop plugged into the hall outlet while he waited for the blanket to dry. When the dryer dinged, he went back to their dorm with the blanket and laptop heaped in his arms. He’d used his detergent, so now Yoo Joonghyuk’s blanket smelled like him.

Laying it out on Yoo Joonghyuk’s bed, Kim Dokja finally allowed himself to sleep. That damn bitch better be grateful that he felt guilty enough to do his laundry despite not being the one in the wrong…

APRIL - Spring Midterms 

Leading up to the midterms, Kim Dokja spent most of his time at the library. He was studying his ass off so he could graduate and at least maintain his 3.2 GPA. He was proud of it, damn it! Kim Dokja refused to let it drop, but two of his classes were still in the 70-79% range. Just a little more studying, a little more content review, a little more of this, a little more of…

Kim Dokja fell asleep in the library. In a remote corner, no one woke him.

He jerked awake when his phone rang. Who was calling him? He had no idea. No one ever called Kim Dokja. Friendless, partnerless, and family-free, his contact list was dreadfully short beside his favorite take-out places. Picking up the phone, he answered without checking caller ID.

“Hello?” He asked, his voice rough from sleep.

Yoo Joonghyuk’s voice was on the other side. “Where the fuck are you?”

“Um,” Kim Dokja uttered, looking around himself to try to gain some insight. “The library.”

“I’ll be there in five.”

“What? No, I’m—” Kim Dokja spoke up a little too loudly. Someone shushed him from a few rows over. Frowning, Kim Dokja sat back in his chair, ran a hand through his hair, and sighed. “I’m fine…”

Luckily, the library was open 24/7, so he wouldn’t be locked in. Heading out at a run, Kim Dokja was shocked to see Yoo Joonghyuk actually waiting for him. More accurately, he was scaling the steps looking down at his feet, oblivious to his roommate in front of the library doors. Kim Dokja paused his run, coming to a stop at the top of the stairs. 

“You didn’t have to come get me,” Kim Dokja said, jogging down to meet Yoo Joonghyuk. Standing two steps above the man, Kim Dokja was looking down upon him for once instead of the other way around. He flicked Yoo Joonghyuk’s forehead. “The call was enough.”

“A thank you would suffice,” Yoo Joonghyuk responded. It set Kim Dokja on edge.

The older man raised an eyebrow. “Why are you being so nice?”

Yoo Joonghyuk cuffed his ear, but it wasn’t as hard as his hits usually were. He and Kim Dokja didn’t hold back around each other, scrapping regularly (Yoo Joonghyuk winning 2/3rds of the time). He looked Kim Dokja in the eye as he said, “It would be a shame if my roommate was dead in a ditch. I don’t want to bother training a new one.”

Kim Dokja blinked before he let out a laugh of disbelief. “Train? You think you trained me? I trained you! Look at you, you’re…” He waved his hand up and down Yoo Joonghyuk’s body, “... You’re practically a housepet at this point.” 

“Quit the theatrics,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, grabbing Kim Dokja by the forearm. He pulled him down the stairs toward the dorm building. “You need to sleep.”

“Always nagging…” Kim Dokja sighed. “Careful, I’ll think you care.”

Yoo Joonghyuk sent him a scathing look. Kim Dokja would’ve shriveled up if he wasn’t used to the guy by now, not to mention hardened by his university experience. His roommates in the first three years were far worse compared to the man dragging him at the moment. Speaking of…

“You can let go, now.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s grip tightened. 

“Hey! Asshole!”

Yoo Joonghyuk sent him another look. The man was very done with Kim Dokja at the moment, it seemed. 

Kim Dokja tried to pull his arm away and failed. Yoo Joonghyuk gripped tighter and tighter until it genuinely hurt. Kim Dokja cried out in pain, fearing a bruise would form, and Yoo Joonghyuk finally let go. The younger man tucked his hands in his pockets.

“Bitch…”

Yoo Joonghyuk kept walking. “I’ll lock you out if you don’t catch up,” he said, dangling Kim Dokja’s keys on his finger. Kim Dokja patted down his pockets. When had he taken them?!

He took off after Yoo Joonghyuk, catching up quickly. He bumped his hip into the younger man’s. 

“You know, you’re not so bad,” Kim Dokja smiled, “even if you’re an asshole by nature.”

Ignoring him, Yoo Joonghyuk pressed the button for their floor on the elevator panel. They waited in silence. By the time they got back to their room, exhaustion was hitting him again. Kim Dokja took off his shoes, put his bag down by his desk, stripped off his jacket, and briefly contemplated getting into pajamas before he vetoed that due to the energy cost. Instead, he took off his shirt and stripped down to his boxers. Of course, because the world hated him, the AC decided to kick on.

He crossed his arms over his chest, running away from the cold air. His nipples pebbled and he rubbed his hands up his arms, trying to generate warmth. Across the room, Yoo Joonghyuk stared blankly. His eyes almost looked glassed over.

“Tired?” Kim Dokja asked as he got in bed. He put his phone on the charger and checked the time. “It’s almost 3 AM. You should go to sleep, or are you going to play games?”

Yoo Joonghyuk didn't answer. He simply turned around, grabbed his towel, and left to go take a shower. Then, after a second, he popped back in to grab his shower shoes. Kim Dokja watched as he left, perplexed.

“He left his shower caddy…” Kim Dokja muttered to himself. “Oh well.”

#

Getting off when you have a roommate who spends so much of his time in your dorm was extremely difficult. Kim Dokja, innocuously, asked Yoo Joonghyuk for his midterm schedule so he could know what to expect for quiet hours. His real reason for asking, however, was because Kim Dokja really, truly needed a good wank. The morning wood was becoming a bit killer if you know what he meant.

“Why do you need my schedule?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked.

Kim Dokja said easily, “So I know when to not bother you.”

“You never bother me.”

Kim Dokja smirked. “I know, but now I especially don’t feel like getting on your bad side this week, so if something comes up, I won’t text until after your last exam.”

“Why can’t I just tell you my last exam time, then?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked.

He frowned, becoming slightly irritated. “What if an emergency comes up?”

“Then you should text regardless.”

Kim Dokja wanted to rip out his hair. “Just send me your damn schedule, and I’ll send mine.”

For some reason, Kim Dokja’s offer to send his schedule to Yoo Joonghyuk seemed to be the closer. Yoo Joonghyuk promptly sent the information over and raised an eyebrow at Kim Dokja, prompting him to do the same. Checking when Yoo Joonghyuk would be tied up for exams, he sighed in happiness. 

“Perfect. Thank you.”

“Whatever,” Yoo Joonghyuk responded. Kim Dokja rolled his eyes.

Now he could reacquaint himself with his right hand.

#

Kim Dokja, much to his relief and pleasure, was able to get off plenty of times that week. It helped that Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t stream for that week, either, instead taking the time to study, so Kim Dokja had good sleep as well without the faint glowy flashes from his screen. Yoo Joonghyuk had ended up buying the screen protector (thank fuck), but still, it took Kim Dokja less time to pass out with the ideal combo of coming all over his fist and pure darkness. 

It also had the added advantage of helping him study, believe it or not! Being so relaxed made him efficient, his time spent getting good sleep led to even better test performance. He was proud of his essays, didn’t question himself on exams, and was confident in his answers. Kim Dokja, all around, felt like a new man.

He just didn’t think it’d raise suspicion. 

While they both sat at their desks that Saturday, Yoo Joonghyuk asked Kim Dokja a question: “Are you dating someone or something?”

Kim Dokja blinked. “What? No?”

“You’re so happy all the time, now…” Yoo Joonghyuk said, announcing his observation in a tone that betrayed pure confusion and a touch of distaste.

Kim Dokja’s cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. “I’m just happy because I think I did well on exams.”

Yoo Joonghyuk narrowed his eyes, turning around in his chair. Kim Dokja turned around too, laying his chin on the back of his chair to look at the guy with wide eyes. He willed his blush to go away. 

“I doubt that.”

“You doubt that I did well on exams?”

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t answer his question. “It’s something else.”

“Yeah?” Kim Dokja said in a dry tone, raising an eyebrow. Then, he watched as Yoo Joonghyuk’s ears turned red. Kim Dokja would’ve smirked, but the line of conversation led him to believe that Yoo Joonghyuk had figured him out. An awkward silence hung between them.

They both turned back to their desks. Kim Dokja tried to read his web novel, his cheeks aflame, but the words slid right off his brain.

MAY to EARLY JUNE - The Remaining Spring Semester

Yoo Joonghyuk was not a soft man. Kim Dokja knew that. He treated everyone the same: women, men, and in between, uncaring of what made someone who they were as long as they didn’t impede him. Kim Dokja, however, had to be the biggest thorn in his side. So why did Yoo Joonghyuk treat him better than everyone else?

Kim Dokja chalked it up to them living together. Perhaps Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t want Kim Dokja to become a menace, as he’d proved himself to be when wronged, so the younger man did his best to keep the peace. It was odd because Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t bother keeping the peace elsewhere. He was notorious for it. People feared him around campus.

It was funny. Being the sole exception made Kim Dokja feel special, but at the same time, he kept reminding himself it was because he was Yoo Joonghyuk’s roommate. The minute they didn’t live together anymore, Kim Dokja knew he’d be treated the same as everyone else.

He wished he knew why that thought made his heart rate spike, or why it made him feel sick to his stomach. At the same time, Kim Dokja didn’t want to know at all. Some things should be left in the dark, and his stupid feelings were one of them. 

The odd feelings came back in a rush, however, when Yoo Joonghyuk approached him with a steaming bowl of stir-fried noodles, chicken, and vegetables. Kim Dokja blinked at the bowl, not taking it as he processed what Yoo Joonghyuk was doing. When Kim Dokja took too long, Yoo Joonghyuk set the bowl down on Kim Dokja’s desk and walked away. 

It smelled pretty damn good—savory, spiced, and a little sweet. It didn’t look like takeout. 

Kim Dokja blinked again. Huh?

“What’s this for?”

“I made too much stir fry,” Yoo Joonghyuk explained. “I’m heading out tomorrow morning to check on Mia. You’re my garbage disposal.”

Kim Dokja let out a loud laugh. “Garbage disposal?!”

“I don’t like wasting food.”

“Hm,” Kim Dokja said, “I respect that. This looks too good to call garbage, though.”

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t respond. Kim Dokja listened to him eat for a second before he grabbed his utensils and tried a bite, swirling the noodles. When it hit his tongue, he let out a noise of surprise.

“This is so good,” he said around the noodles.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full.” 

Kim Dokja finished chewing, ignoring Yoo Joonghyuk’s words but obeying them anyway. “Thank you.”

Yoo Joonghyuk was quiet for a second too long. His voice was quiet when he responded with, “You’re welcome. We both know you need to eat better, anyway.”

Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. “Okay, Dad.”

Yoo Joonghyuk choked. 

“You okay?” Kim Dokja asked as he listened to Yoo Joonghyuk cough. He turned around in his chair and watched him, eating from his bowl the whole time. It didn’t occur to him that it was a full bowl as if Yoo Joonghyuk had accidentally made two full servings—no more, no less. 

The younger man held his thumb upwards. Kim Dokja chuckled. He said, “Chew before you swallow,” smugly. 

“Be quiet,” Yoo Joonghyuk managed to croak out. 

“Mhm,” Kim Dokja hummed.

They lapsed into silence. Finishing their respective portions, Yoo Joonghyuk gave his empty bowl to Kim Dokja.

“You’re doing the dishes.”

Kim Dokja didn’t mind. “Sure. Thanks for the food, again.”

Yoo Joonghyuk nodded and turned away, putting on his jacket. Kim Dokja perked up.

“Where ya going?”

Yoo Joonghyuk answered gruffly. “Out.”

Kim Dokja, for some bewildering mystery reason, felt a bit sad. He was hoping to pester the younger man some more.

“See you later,” Kim Dokja said. He took the bowls to the dorm kitchen, watching as Yoo Joonghyuk walked the opposite way to the elevator. He pursed his lips.

“Oh, well…” Kim Dokja sighed. “I’ll see him when he comes back to stream, anyway.”

#

Throughout the semester, Kim Dokja made sure not to get in the frame of Yoo Joonghyuk’s streaming. Whenever he came home while the guy was streaming, Kim Dokja army crawled to make sure he was out of sight. He didn’t want to be on camera, first of all, and second of all, Yoo Joonghyuk had yelled at him towards the beginning of the semester to not, “Show his sorry ass on camera.”

Kim Dokja could agree with that. However, one night right before finals week began, Kim Dokja was dead tired. He slept in early the night prior to his first day of exams, therefore being in bed before the beginning of Yoo Joonghyuk’s stream. The man was confident enough in his grades to not bother skipping streams. It made Kim Dokja jealous. 

But Kim Dokja desperately needed to pee, and in his rush, forgot that Yoo Joonghyuk was streaming. He got up and shuffled towards the door, pausing when he saw Yoo Joonghyuk on his computer. Ironically, Kim Dokja did not compute what was happening. Shirtless from sleeping in the summer heat, he approached Yoo Joonghyuk to flick the back of his head, possessed by a wild impulse. 

“Joonghyuk-ah,” Kim Dokja whined, voice scratchy from sleep. “You need to rest. Finals start tomorrow.”

Yoo Joonghyuk went eerily still. Kim Dokja frowned. “Hey, did you hear m—”

Joonghyuk clicked a few buttons rapidly. His computer went dark. He spun around in his desk chair and glared up at Kim Dokja. The older man could barely make out the expression in the dark, but it was familiar enough to know by now. 

Kim Dokja suddenly felt very awake when Yoo Joonghyuk said darkly, “I’m going to kill you.”

His feet moved before he could process what he was doing. Kim Dokja ran into the hallway, letting out a reverberating yell down the corridor as he booked it away from Yoo Joonghyuk. The younger man was pursuing him at a frightening pace, his indoor slide shoes smacking into the tile in a way that would’ve been comedic if it wasn’t terrifying. Kim Dokja knew he couldn’t outrun him, but he could try! If he got to the bathroom, he could lock himself in a stall and beg for forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry!” Kim Dokja shouted, slapping a hand over his mouth when he realized it was quiet hours. It was too late—he’d definitely woken people up. Probably multiple. 

Shoulder grabbed by a large hand, Kim Dokja was spun around and shoved into a cinderblock wall. All the air was knocked out of his lungs. He gasped, breathing in deeply when his body recovered. Eyes wide, he looked up at Yoo Joonghyuk’s menacing expression. The man’s pupils were dilated like Kim Dokja was nothing but prey.

“100,000 people just saw you shirtless.”

A devastating blow! Kim Dokja cringed violently. 

“Ah!” His expression spoke volumes of regret. “This is so embarrassing…”

The wall was cold against Kim Dokja’s back. So close to Yoo Joonghyuk’s warm body, Kim Dokja wanted to lean into him to escape the cold. Unconsciously, he did so. He only registered what he was doing when their chests connected, and then Yoo Joonghyuk did something unexpected: he leaned in closer. His body pasted Kim Dokja against the wall and the older man let out a displeased grunt. 

“Cold, cold, cold…” Kim Dokja hissed. 

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t move. He looked down at Kim Dokja, still as a statue. He couldn’t tell what the younger man was thinking. Maybe, he was thinking of ways to chop Kim Dokja up to be a part of his next meal.

A wolf whistle pierced the air. Kim Dokja’s eyes widened. Both he and Yoo Joonghyuk turned towards the source of the whistling. Much to their horror, multiple students were peering down the hallway to catch a glimpse of the action.

“Get it!” Someone yelled. People laughed. Kim Dokja wished Yoo Joonghyuk had killed him.

The RA stepped further out into the hallway, looking at the two of them with raised eyebrows. 

“I didn’t know you had a relationship like that,” the RA said. “Please keep this confined to the four walls of your room. Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“It’s not—”

“We’re not—”

Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja looked at each other before Yoo Joonghyuk shoved himself back and walked back to their room as if nothing had happened. Ashamed, Kim Dokja fled to the bathroom, quickly pissing before he scampered back to his dorm. Getting back in bed, the older man thanked the stars above that Yoo Joonghyuk chose to go to sleep before Kim Dokja had returned. He was probably still awake, but…

Kim Dokja shoved his face into his pillow. He groaned.

“I can’t believe he thought we were, um, that we, uh…” Kim Dokja stuttered. 

“Trying to fuck in the hallway?”

Kim Dokja let out a long, frustrated string of noises. “They were just teasing. Right? They don’t actually think that of us…”

Yoo Joonghyuk was quiet. Kim Dokja worried his bottom lip before groaning again and beating his pillow.

“Were 100,000 people really tuned into your stream?”

“... Yes.”

Kim Dokja moaned in despair into his hands. “Oh, fuck me.”

Yoo Joonghyuk sighed. “Yeah. Fuck you.”

“I said I was sorry!” Kim Dokja said a little too loudly. “I just gave a free show. Please don’t keep the recording of that stream up.”

“I can already guarantee this moment will end up in YouTube compilations.”

“I’m going to jump off the campus clock tower.”

Yoo Joonghyuk stood up. He walked over to Kim Dokja’s bed. He smacked him with a pillow with the force of 1,000 pro-wrestlers. 

“Shut the hell up.”

Kim Dokja frowned. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

“I can and I will,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “Don’t… worry about it.”

The younger man sounded pained as he added: “They thought you were hot.”

Kim Dokja’s eyebrows shot upwards. “They did? I’ve never been described that way in my life.”

Silence. Kim Dokja, for some inane reason, desperately wanted to know what Yoo Joonghyuk’s opinion was.

“How would you describe me?” He asked.

Yoo Joonghyuk grunted and answered quickly. “You’re a stickbug.”

Kim Dokja huffed. “I don’t know what I expected. Not all of us can be perfect.”

“Hm,” Yoo Joonghyuk hummed. “I don’t like being put on a pedestal.”

“Okay, and?” Kim Dokja said. “Doesn’t change the fact that you’re pretty close to immaculate.”

“Please, stop.”

“What, are you allergic to compliments?” Kim Dokja asked. 

Yoo Joonghyuk huffed. “Yes.”

“Deal with it…” Kim Dokja said. He sighed. “I can’t believe they thought I was hot. Are you sure you didn’t misread?”

Yoo Joonghyuk went back to his bed. Kim Dokja listened as he got into it, the sheets rustling as the man lay down. 

“I’m sure.”

They lapsed into silence. Kim Dokja, curious, waited until Yoo Joonghyuk was fast asleep. His heart pounded as he opened the recorded stream. Scrubbing to the end, he saw himself in all his glory: bedhead, shirtless, sweatpants low on his hips. He rewound, watching as he entered the frame, flicked the back of Yoo Joonghyuk’s head, and called out “Joonghyuk-ah,”  in a teasingly affectionate manner. 

He watched until the recording ended, rewound, and repeated. 

“Fuck,” Kim Dokja cringed. His face was bright red and hot in the darkness of their room. He looked so… ugh. Meanwhile, Yoo Joonghyuk’s face was blank like he couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing. The tips of his ears were red, likely in fury. His eyebrows pinched, and then the clip ended. Kim Dokja rewound again, checking the timestamped comments.

“Who is that???”

“What’s up with the shirtless guy…”

“Is that Yoo Joonghyuk’s roommate?”

“Nah, boyfriend! Pretty sure. True and factual.”

“Stfu no way, ur a liar”

“Omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!”

“Why is he hot tho.”

“Look at that bedhead. Man looks RUMPLED.”

“HAHAH Yoo Joonghyuk looks so shocked”

“Is he blushing??????????? Wtf”

“Seggsy man at 10 O’clock”

“HOLY SHIT!”

“Why the wild twink?”

“Guys stop harassing him!”

“if he’s really his boyfriend, you people need to stfu and let them have privacy, freaks”

Kim Dokja turned off his phone. Eyes wide in the darkness, he tried to get sleep. He had finals tomorrow, he needed to focus, he couldn’t think about how people thought he was Yoo Joonghyuk’s boyfriend.

Boyfriend—The word echoed in his head. Kim Dokja swallowed and rolled around in bed, unable to fall asleep until he was so exhausted his body made him black out. The next thing Kim Dokja knew, he was being startled awake by his phone alarm. 

Opening his phone, he realized he’d forgotten to charge it and left the video up, so at 6 AM, he was greeted with the image of his exposed nipples behind Yoo Joonghyuk’s beautiful face. 

“Kill me,” he grumbled as he came to terms with what happened. “Today is going to suck.”

LATE JUNE to JULY - Summer Sessions

Predictably, the final exams for the spring semester sucked ass. Kim Dokja recovered somewhat by the middle of the week, but Monday and Tuesday were brutal. He was wrung out like a wet dishrag by his academic endeavors and left to dry in the sweltering sun. It didn’t help that Yoo Joonghyuk seemed colder than usual, following the incident. Kim Dokja didn’t have time to dwell on that, though, because he needed to graduate. 

When the semester ended, summer break came along. Kim Dokja stayed for the summer sessions, but Yoo Joonghyuk returned home to stay with Yoo Mia. He seemed excited—as much as the man could look excited—and Kim Dokja was happy for him, really.

He just wished he wasn’t left with a hole in his chest upon seeing him leave. They were going to live together the next semester as assigned, yes, but seeing Yoo Joonghyuk pack up a majority of his belongings was surprisingly painful. Kim Dokja didn’t realize how used to not being alone he’d gotten.

It sucked. He wished he’d never gotten used to having company because, without it, he felt empty. 

Kim Dokja didn’t lift a finger to help Yoo Joonghyuk pack. He was too sad.

“What?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked after an hour of stifled silence. 

“What do you mean, ‘what?’” Kim Dokja asked, impassive. 

“Why are you moping,” Yoo Joonghyuk said in a way that was so flat, it didn’t even sound like a question.

Kim Dokja spun around on his desk chair. “I’m not moping.”

Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a look. “I’ll be back in two and a half months.”

Having the duration laid out like that gave Kim Dokja pause. Two and a half months without Yoo Joonghyuk would’ve been a blessing to him at the beginning of the semester, but he knew he’d miss him. It pained him to admit that to himself. 

“What, you think I’ll miss you?” Kim Dokja asked. 

Yoo Joonghyuk’s lip curled into a minuscule smile. It made Kim Dokja sick to his stomach. Never in their time together has Yoo Joonghyuk smiled for any reason other than his little sister. 

“We’ll see.”

Chapter Text

JULY - Summer Internship

The summer sessions were boring without Yoo Joonghyuk. Kim Dokja missed the flashing of his computer late at night, he missed the whisper of his headphones, the fighting, the occasional peaceful silence. He missed antagonizing the younger man, poking him just to get a rise. He missed his scent, long having faded from the room.

Kim Dokja stared at the stripped bed. He wondered if that still smelled like—

Nope. Stop that thought right there.

Pacing, Kim Dokja wondered what he should do with the extra space. Then, it hit him: he should colonize Yoo Joonghyuk’s bed!

Setting up his extra sheets on Yoo Joonghyuk’s bed, Kim Dokja made himself a comfy nest. He was a bit of a pillow fiend despite throwing most of them on the floor when he actually went to sleep, so the sacrifice from one bed to the next wasn’t awful. Setting up his laptop at the foot of the bed, he could watch movies in his spare time. Add a bag of popcorn into the mix, and Kim Dokja had quite the snazzy set-up. 

He curled up against the pillows and hit play on a horror movie. It was a classic, apparently, but one Kim Dokja had yet to see. He watched eagerly, munching on corn the entire time.

In the back of his head, though, he kept wanting to make comments to Yoo Joonghyuk. Obviously, he couldn’t in person, so the next best option was to harass him over text. 

KDJ: have you seen “Terror on oak lane”

It took 35 minutes into the movie for Yoo Joonghyuk to respond. 

YJH: No, why?

Kim Dokja paused the film so he wouldn’t miss anything.

KDJ: its this really good horror movie about this dead guy (ghost?) hunting down teens. It has some really cool special effects! Practical ones, because its old. So much better than CG, right?

YJH: Practical effects are superior, yes.

YJH: Are you watching in theaters?

Kim Dokja lifted his phone and took a photo of his setup. His socked feet were in the frame. He sent it anyway.

KDJ: in bed! Im cheap lol

YJH: That’s my bed.

KDJ: no the photo is just flipped

YJH: That’s my pen case on the desk, you shitty liar.

KDJ: So maybe I made this into my den

KDJ: im the king of the world!

KDJ: well, ur bed, but thats neither here nor there

KDJ: wait that sounds really dirty my bad

YJH: You’re lucky I’m not there.

KDJ: oh no whatever will I do

KDJ: anway back to the movie, say hello to Yoo Mia for me!!! Tell her the cool uncle wishes her well

YJH: You’re not her uncle, but yes, I will tell her hello for you.

KDJ: lol she’ll like me more than u eventually, count your days

YJH: 👍

Kim Dokja closed the app on his phone. He laid it on his stomach and resumed watching the movie. His lips were graced with a smile that would be sweet if it didn’t look psychopathic, considering he was watching fictional teenagers getting slashed to death in a horror film. 

#

On the first day of Kim Dokja’s internship with the tech support department, he was in a dreary mood. He had a hard time listening to the instructions he was given and zoned out a lot, thoughts drifting toward his roommate. It sucked, living alone. Kim Dokja had become used to being with him, even if he pissed Kim Dokja off 50% of the time. 

“Kim Dokja!” The team lead called. “Snap out of it! Are you even listening?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Kim Dokja was startled. He chuckled awkwardly. “What were we talking about again…?”

“Division of responsibilities.” She clarified. “We are assigning shifts now.”

Kim Dokja nodded. He volunteered for the morning shift from Monday through Wednesday along with Saturday with the sole goal of ensuring he was available to watch Yoo Joonghyuk’s streams in the evening and night. Kim Dokja had to ensure he had some social (read: parasocial) time with his roommate, still, or he’d go insane.

No one wanted to take the morning slot, so he was happy when they handed out the printed version of the final schedule for the following month. The internship was unpaid, but it’d look good on his resume. As well, the deal was that he was allowed to board for a discounted rate during that month and it was cheaper than renting out the place he had lined up for August. 

A win-win. Kim Dokja made sure he paid attention from there on out, determined to get a positive review from his team lead before the end of the month. 

#

A woman approached Kim Dokja after one of his lectures ended. She looked a bit shy, but her eyes were determined. Kim Dokja looked around, unsure if she was addressing him when she said, “Excuse me!”

“Yes…?” Kim Dokja said, still confused if he was the person she meant to talk to. 

“Sorry to pry,” the woman apologized ahead of time, “but are you the guy dating Yoo Joonghyuk?”

“Uh?” Kim Dokja squeaked out. “No?”

She smiled. “It’s okay! A lot of people are more welcoming of homosexuality, nowadays! No judgment. I’m just curious. You’re kinda a local celebrity.”

“Oh, um…” Kim Dokja didn’t know what to say. He opted for a half-truth. “We prefer to keep our relationship private. Our relationship as friends, I mean.”

Her eyes brightened. “Wait, are you not together yet?”

Kim Dokja let out a laugh of disbelief. “Yet? No. I mean, we’re not—”

“Like I said, a lot of people are supportive!” She smiled even more. Pumping her fist, she cheered, “Fighting!” before backing away and running back to what Kim Dokja assumed was her friend group. He immediately heard them start gossiping.

Fuck.

Over the next few weeks, rumors spread like wildfire. People kept asking, over and over, if Kim Dokja was Yoo Joonghyuk’s boyfriend yet. They kept cheering him on despite Kim Dokja’s insistence that there was nothing between them. 

Interning in the tech support department over the summer session, Kim Dokja had to deal with it from his coworkers, too. Damn Yoo Joonghyuk for being so famous… he made his problems Kim Dokja’s problems!

Texting the younger man, Kim Dokja complains. 

KDJ: man these people are crazy about us

YJH: What do you mean?

KDJ: they won’t leave me alone! They keep asking if we’re dating yet and its driving me crazy. My coworkers are doing it too. My boss even asked! He’s a fan, apparently. 

YJH: Just ignore them, easy

KDJ: its hard

KDJ: they dont stfu

KDJ: sorry you’re probably getting a lot of this from ur viewers :/

KDJ: I don’t want to unload this on you

YJH: You already are

YJH: Who cares, just let them tire themselves out

KDJ: i guess.

Sighing, Kim Dokja set his phone face down on his desk. He only had two weeks before the summer session ended, so he’d have to move out for a few months to the apartment he’d lined up for himself. Maybe, there, people wouldn’t recognize him as easily. It wasn’t like he had a remarkable face or anything.

#

Sometimes, Kim Dokja tuned into Yoo Joonghyuk’s streams. He watched as he grided in MMOs, his avatar decimating the enemies he went against. Kim Dokja watched his face more than the video game, mesmerized by the way Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes darted around the screen, his mouse moving with precision from minute twitches on his hand. 

He didn’t talk much, either. Yoo Joonghyuk was known for being quiet on stream, but also for never raging. A lot of people treated his streams as masterclasses in gaming or as ASMR. The clicking of his keyboard was audible but not annoying, the crisp taps soothing enough to knock Kim Dokja out with his phone falling on his chest. 

When he did speak, it was usually small victory cheers. Kim Dokja cheered with him, pumping his fist when Yoo Joonghyuk won an FPS tournament by the skin of his teeth. He came in clutch at the last second, pinching the win out from under the other team. Winning MVP, Yoo Joonghyuk’s lips curled into a barely-there smug smile.

Kim Dokja was mad that he found it attractive. He rolled his eyes at himself. Any sane person would find that hot, anyway…

KDJ: Congrats on the win!

YJH: I didn’t know you watched.

KDJ: wouldn’t it be weird if I didn’t?

KDJ: and a thank you is appropriate :)

YJH: okay 👍

KDJ: dick

YJH: get better material 

“Ungrateful bastard.” Kim Dokja scoffed. “See if I ever congratulate him again…”

#

The next stream Kim Dokja watched, Yoo Joonghyuk finally addressed the comments that occasionally appeared concerning his roommate and potential “lover.”

“I’m going to ban the word roommate if you people keep this up,” Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled. 

Kim Dokja found it impressive how he could read the chat and play the game at the same time without fucking up his kill/death ratio. Then, he realized what Yoo Joonghyuk meant. He was talking about Kim Dokja.

Yoo Joonghyuk continued. “You’re making him uncomfortable with this crap. The next person who mentions him is timed out.”

“Omg he’s so protective, that’s so cute!”

[User yooojh68 has been timed out].

Kim Dokja laughed at the immediate strike against the disobedient viewer. He tabbed out to text Yoo Joonghyuk, deciding to mess with him a bit. He’d never texted while he was on stream before, but the idea was too tempting to resist. He desperately wanted to see the younger man’s reaction. 

KDJ: thanks for defending my honor, honey~

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes darted to his phone on the desk. His eyes widened slightly and his ears reddened. He turned off his camera briefly, and the next thing Kim Dokja knew, he received a text from the man himself.

YJH: Never text me on stream again.

KDJ: awwww why?

YJH: remember the sword in my closet?

KDJ: fucking mall ninja edgelord 

KDJ: and lol I won’t. continue, please!

After a moment, Yoo Joonghyuk’s camera turned back on. His ears were still red. He took a long sip from his water bottle. He coughed, the water going down the wrong pipe. Turning away from the camera, Kim Dokja could see the back of his neck was flushed red as well. 

Biting his lip, Kim Dokja smiled to himself. Maybe he should text him on stream more often… No, because then Yoo Joonghyuk would actually kill him when he came back to university. As much as Kim Dokja enjoyed messing with him, he didn’t want to fuck with the guy’s career. That was crossing a line.

But he did like the way he blushed. 

Kim Dokja wasn’t stupid, he knew he found Yoo Joonghyuk attractive. He wasn’t totally oblivious to the way his body reacted to the younger man. He just felt guilty about it, and each time he thought of Yoo Joonghyuk that way, the guilt came back in a crashing wave—especially when it happened while he was getting off.

That same night, after the stream ended, Kim Dokja decided he might as well touch himself since he couldn’t sleep. He liked to tease himself usually, trailing the tips of his fingers down his abdomen and across his hips and the sensitive area to either side of his groin. The light touches almost tickled, making the muscles clench and relax rapidly. He gasped, able to be loud because he knew his nearby neighbors had all moved out for the summer.

His hand flattened against his stomach. Kim Dokja held it there, thumb stroking the soft skin below his belly button. His other hand reached up for his chest, pulling up his t-shirt until his pecs were exposed. Palming his chest, Kim Dokja closed his eyes and breathed through the urge to go faster; He resisted the urge to skip to the good part, because if he abstained, the good part would become really good.

Fingers traced around his left nipple. He arched his back unconsciously, leaning into his own touch. Moaning softly, he pinched the sensitive bud between the pads of his fingers. It felt so good to be able to touch himself so thoroughly after months of quick sessions stroking his dick and nothing more.

Whimpering, Kim Dokja pulled the nipple outwards, pinching it tight as he did so. The pain sent a tingle down his spine, his dick jumping in his boxers, slowly forming a wet spot. He was already leaking precum just from the light touches and the prick of his nails against his chest. He dragged said nails across himself, similar to the almost-tickling touched from earlier, and toyed with the edge of his boxers. Then, Kim Dokja resumed his nipple play, touching both of them as he crossed his legs and raised his hips, fucking into nothing but empty air.

Kim Dokja wasn’t small, in general. He was pretty tall, definitely skinny, but his dick was on the larger side despite being in the average range. It filled out his boxers nicely, straining against the fabric. But Yoo Joonghyuk was so much larger, and his hands would probably—

—don’t think about him.

Biting his lip, Kim Dokja whimpered. He desperately tried to ignore the thoughts of large hands, sharp teeth, thick thighs, and all the other things that made up the impressive body of his roommate. It wasn’t okay to lust after the guy. It was dangerous because if Kim Dokja started going down that slippery slope, there was no coming back. His physical attraction to the bastard was something he could try to hide, but Yoo Joonghyuk was a bloodhound for secrets. Kim Dokja didn’t want to freak him out.

But he couldn’t help it. Kim Dokja’s mind kept wandering back to the way Yoo Joonghyuk’s skin had tasted when he’d bit him during that one fight. Licking his lips, he wished he could bite him again and hear what it sounded like when the younger man moaned in pleasure and pain. He thought about how Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t hesitate to manhandle him, grabbing him and moving Kim Dokja as he wished like the older man weighed nothing. Kim Dokja wanted to be pushed around and hungered for the look in Yoo Joonghyuk’s eye that said “I’m warning you.” He couldn’t help but think about the way Yoo Joonghyuk smelled, the sandalwood and vanilla scent intoxicating. Then, Kim Dokja remembered something that made him freeze.

Yoo Joonghyuk had left some clothes behind in the closet. He’d forgotten them in the hamper they had at the foot of the small space. Kim Dokja wondered if Yoo Joonghyuk hadn’t had the time to wash them, so he left them there so he could do a load when he came back.

They probably smelled like him. 

“Fuck,” Kim Dokja groaned. He hesitated for a few seconds before he got up, retrieved a shirt, and then jumped back into his bed. On his knees, Kim Dokja looked at the plain black compression shirt. It didn’t smell rank or anything, so the younger man hadn’t exercised in it, but when Kim Dokja brought it to his face and inhaled, it smelled like Yoo Joonghyuk’s indescribable smell. The sandalwood and vanilla were there, yes, but it also just smelled like Joonghyuk.

“I should not be doing this,” Kim Dokja groaned. He got up, almost throwing the shirt back in the hamper before he wavered. To sniff or not to sniff, that was the question. According to Kim Dokja’s dick, inhaling Yoo Joonghyuk’s pheromones and body wash off a used shirt was the answer. Finished waffling, Kim Dokja walked back to the bed, laid down on his back, and brought the shirt to his face.

He breathed it, covering both his mouth and nose. His dick got harder, jumping in his boxers. 

Fuck going slow.

Kim Dokja reached down and pulled his boxers to his lower thighs, taking a quick breath of fresh air as he did so. Then, he laid back down with a sigh, and with guilt heavy in his stomach, smothered himself with Yoo Joonghyuk’s shirt. His eyelids fluttered shut as the intoxicating scent turned him on further, imagining him burying his face in the man’s neck as he straddled his lap. He fantasized about how their cocks would feel pressed together, lined up as they touched each other in tandem. Kim Dokja had seen Yoo Joonghyuk in his underwear, so he knew he was big even when he was soft. Like, really, really big. The idea made Kim Dokja fucking ravenous. 

Biting into the fabric of the shirt, Kim Dokja used both hands to strip off his boxers and fling them to the side of the bed. Then, he touched his dick for the first time since he’d started, his right hand gripping his length tight enough to feel good without being too much. Slow and steady wins the race, after all.

Whimpering into the fabric stuffed in his mouth, Kim Dokja breathed through his nose as he stroked. He groaned, hips jerking up as he couldn’t resist the urge to fuck his fist. He imagined it was Yoo Joonghyuk touching him instead, but the younger man’s hands were so much bigger. They’d wrap around more of his cock, his palms rough from working out and his fingers deft and strong. Yoo Joonghyuk would probably torture Kim Dokja a bit, squeezing a little too hard just to watch him squirm. Kim Dokja, lost in his fantasy, did exactly that. He gasped as a tingle of pain shot up his spine before it was overcome with a wave of pleasure from his resumed stroking. 

“Oh my God,” Kim Dokja moaned, unable to stop himself. The shirt was released from his mouth, draping wet over his face from the spit it soaked up. Crying out, Kim Dokja sped up his stroking and began to pinch a nipple.

Fuck edging, he thought, and then he began to touch himself without abandon. He rubbed the palm of his hand against his tip, spreading precum all around, and then stroked vigorously. The sloppy sounds of his wet cock filled the room along with the pathetic sounds escaping his throat. He called out for Yoo Joonghyuk, groaning like an animal into the fabric of the shirt as his hips raised off the bed, back arching. He wished Yoo Joonghyuk was there; He wished Yoo Joonghyuk would fuck him without mercy.

Kim Dokja cried out and mumbled nonsense as he came, begging to be touched and fucked and bullied. Ropes of cum spattered across his stomach, making a mess of himself. He touched himself until he was so sensitive it hurt, his brain filled with static and a foggy haze. Then, he ripped the shirt away from his face, breathing in cool air, and draped his arm across his forehead when he finally came down from his high. 

“Fucking hell,” Kim Dokja muttered. Post-nut regret hit him like a truck.

Kim Dokja went to work the next day tired as hell and guilty as shit. 

He didn’t tune into another stream for the next week. 

#

On his last day on campus, Kim Dokja packed up half his belongings—just the important stuff like his laptop and his clothes. Bags ready by the door, he lay in bed and thought about Yoo Joonghyuk. He was excited to see him, but now his excitement was tainted by the lingering shame that he’d acted upon his attraction.

Kim Dokja knew he was queer. He’d known for a long time. Yoo Joonghyuk, however, gave no indication that he liked men in the slightest. Kim Dokja heard rumors about his ex-girlfriend and that was it. No dalliances with boys in his youth, nothing—besides everyone joking about Kim Dokja.

He laughed quietly to himself. As if Yoo Joonghyuk would ever want to fuck him even if he liked men.

What a fucking pipe dream.

AUGUST - Summer Break

Kim Dokja wanted to scream.

He couldn’t fucking stop thinking about that stupid ass man and his stupid fucking everything! One night, Kim Dokja obsessed over his hands, watching a stream with eyes locked on his long fingers as Yoo Joonghyuk clicked around with his mouse. Another night, he looked at his lips and how he sucked in the side of his cheek when he focused on pursuing a kill. It was hot. It was torture. It was plain evil.

“Kim Dokja,” he said to himself, “get a fucking grip.”

Now at a month-by-month apartment complex, Kim Dokja was in a shitty part of town that wasn’t great to exercise in because of all the potholes and dangers looming around every corner. However, he didn’t care anymore, because during his time living with Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja had gotten hooked on exercise as a means of relieving stress. He jogged around the block like a crazed gazelle, jumping over potholes and dodging cars like he was in Frogger when he darted across the street to the next block.

It was healthy, for sure. 

(A lie).

Physically fit, Kim Dokja spent his mornings doing more intense calisthenics than he’d done previously, his days working on the computer as a QA tester, and his evenings on jogs in the late Summer sun. He ended up gaining weight in muscle, actually, and with the QA testing job, could afford slightly better food with more protein. When he looked in the mirror, he no longer saw a “stickbug” as Yoo Joonghyuk had called him, but rather a guy that maybe Yoo Joonghyuk would fu—

“Kim Dokja,” the man repeated like a mantra, “get a fucking grip.”

“I hate him, I hate him, I hate him,” Kim Dokja muttered to himself as he clicked around on his screen, following prompts for work. “Get out of my headdddddd!”

He wanted to slam his skull against the keyboard repeatedly. He abstained, of course, because keyboards cost money he did not have. Instead, he furiously typed up product reviews for interfaces he was judging and sent off emails to his supervisor for clarification on guidelines. By the end of his shift, his head hurt, but his supervisor sent him an email back praising Kim Dokja for his impressive productivity.

Kim Dokja’s lips twitched into an irritated smile, but a smile nonetheless. At least his horny rage was good for something…

#

Kim Dokja bought too much takeout. It was a bit of a bad decision because ultimately it cost more money and it was not as good as the food Yoo Joonghyuk had made him that one time, but it was easier and it improved his mood somewhat. Today, he was buying Thai from his favorite place about 20 minutes away from his apartment complex. 

At the counter, Kim Dokja thanked the worker who prepared his food. Steaming soup, dumplings, and chicken curry waited for him to devour. His stomach growled as he turned around, almost bumping into a guy who was standing way too close.

“Whoa!” Kim Dokja yelped, almost falling backward. The stranger caught his arm.

“Sorry!” He said. “I just, um, wanted to say hi. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Kim Dokja laughed. “Scared? All you did was throw me off balance.”

The man smiled. He was quite handsome. He was a few centimeters taller than Kim Dokja, had honey-blonde hair that was dyed but definitely done professionally, and his eyes were a deep brown. He made Kim Dokja think of a golden retriever. 

“Did you need something?” Kim Dokja prompted after a moment of awkward silence. 

“Um,” the man’s eyes widened. “Do you want to go out with me? On a date?”

Kim Dokja blinked. He asked in a voice colored with disbelief, “What?”

He realized his arm was still in the man’s grip and pulled away. The stranger got the hint and let go, fingers unlatching like he’d been burned. 

“Sorry,” the man apologized again. “I’ve just seen you around a few times and thought you were really pretty.”

Kim Dokja’s face burst into flames. “Oh?”

The man smiled. “Can you blame me? I mean, you have gorgeous eyes. By the way, my name is—”

“I have a boyfriend!” Kim Dokja blurted out. Before he could stop himself, he began rambling. “He’s really possessive, so I need to stop you there. He doesn’t—he, um, prefers if I don’t flirt and don’t respond to flirting. Like boyfriends do. Obviously. And you seem nice, but I’m taken, so—!”

“Okayyyy,” the man held his hands up in embarrassed defeat, taking a step away from the wreck that was Kim Dokja. “I get it. Jeeze, you don’t have to go that far.”

“Ah…” Kim Dokja’s voice creaked like an old door. “Excuse me!”

He ran from the restaurant with his bag of food clutched in his arms like a precious newborn baby. For the comfort the food gave him that night, it might as well have been.

#

“Not again!” Kim Dokja yelled when he checked Twitter the next day. All over his feed were posts about how he had rejected a guy because he had a boyfriend. Someone recognized him from the video (video!) someone had posted that centered around the mortifying encounter in the Thai restaurant, and now his name was all over the website. Kim Dokja this, Kim Dokja that! He was one step away from being doxxed.

“I’m…” Kim Dokja curled up in a fetal position on his bed. “This is it. Yoo Joonghyuk is going to kill me.”

The video started a little after Kim Dokja almost fell. The original poster said they started recording because of a food blog but changed subjects because they thought a physical altercation was about to happen. Turns out, she hit the jackpot and caused a viral sensation: Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk were confirmed in a relationship!

“Confirmed, my ass…” Kim Dokja scoffed when he read through online news articles later that night. “We are not dating. You are a liar!”

The evidence was damning, however. After all, anyone in their right mind would equate possessive with Yoo Joonghyuk, especially since he gatekept Kim Dokja from his audience. It was entirely within the realm of possibility that Kim Dokja and the streamer were in a relationship. However, that didn’t change the truth.

They were not dating. That was a cold, hard fact.

Kim Dokja’s phone beeped with a notification. His eyes widened when he saw it was from his roommate. 

“Oh shit,” he cursed. It took him a minute to muster the courage to click the messaging app. 

YJH: Who are you dating

Kim Dokja squinted. What kind of question was that? Obviously, he wasn’t dating anyone. Yoo Joonghyuk of all people should know that, but apparently, he had more faith in Kim Dokja’s dating prowess than Kim Dokja did. 

KDJ: You, apparently 

YJH: Don’t joke with me. 

YJH: Why is there a video of you, Kim Dokja, telling a man that you have a “possessive boyfriend”?

YJH: Do I know him?

KDJ: Why? Are you going to give him the shovel talk?

There was a long gap in between messages after Kim Dokja sent that. Ten minutes passed before Yoo Joonghyuk messaged him back.

YJH: So you are dating someone?

KDJ: What if I was? Lol. 

KDJ: Don’t answer that. Anyway, no I don’t have a boyfriend. i said all that shit to get the guy off my back. He was cute and all, but not my type.

Kim Dokja did not reflect on that statement. He opted to steamroll ahead. No higher reasoning skills were consulted as he continued.

KDJ: he was too nice.

A pause.

YJH: Is that why you get all red when I’m mean to you?

Kim Dokja bluescreened. Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck. 

Kim Dokja panicked. How could he respond to that? What should he say? What the fuck was Yoo Joonghyuk thinking, asking a loaded question like that? Kim Dokja wanted to punch him through the phone screen but couldn’t, so he opted for his usual method of deny, deny, deny.

KDJ: who gets red?

KDJ: not me. and if I did, it’s because I want to kick you in the larynx. 

YJH: okay 👍

A few seconds passed. Three dots appeared, disappeared, and appeared again about three times over. Then, Yoo Joonghyuk finally sent his message.

YJH: You can sure try.

KDJ: I’m going to jump you when you return. I'm coming for you.

YJH: Is that a promise?

Kim Dokja didn’t know how to respond to that, either. 

He threw his phone across the bed instead of answering. 

Chapter Text

SEPTEMBER - Beginning of Fall Semester

When Yoo Joonghyuk moved back in, Kim Dokja wanted to insist upon helping him bring his things up to the dorm. However, he knew this was an excuse to see him as early as possible, so he didn’t offer. He’d thought back to all their interactions and knew that Yoo Joonghyuk had no interest in him beyond a stable roommate situation. So, he maintained the boundaries already there and acted like he couldn’t care less.

He didn’t want Yoo Joonghyuk to think he hated him, though, so Kim Dokja tried to straddle the line between "I do not care" and "Please, you’re my friend. At least we kinda are…" 

When Yoo Joonghyuk arrived, he didn’t bother knocking on the door. He opened it, startling a curled-up Kim Dokja who was buried in pillows on his bed. Reading a webnovel, Kim Dokja stared at Yoo Joonghyuk over the edge of his phone with wide eyes. Then, his gaze softened. 

“Yoo Joonghyuk,” Kim Dokja said cordially. “Welcome back.”

Yoo Joonghyuk grunted in response. Kim Dokja rolled his eyes.

“Friendly as ever, I see.”

“Thanks,” Yoo Joonghyuk said after Kim Dokja’s criticism. 

They lapsed into silence. Kim Dokja sat up, his shorts sliding up and exposing his thighs, thicker now from the new habit of exercising. He rested his head on his propped-up hand. 

“Do you want to get dinner?” Kim Dokja asked, “How long has it been since you ate?”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s ears turned a light shade of pink. “... 8 AM?”

“Yoo Joonghyuk!” Kim Dokja raised his voice. “Unpack later. We’re getting food.”

“We can go grocery shopping, the dining hall food is—”

Kim Dokja shook his head. He jumped up, stripped off his shorts, and changed into pants. It was already starting to get colder outside. “That’ll take too long; It's already pretty late,” he said while grabbing his wallet and patting down his other pocket to make sure he had his phone. “Let’s go!”

Yoo Joonghyuk left his suitcase unopened, only taking the necessities with him to the dining hall. He followed after Kim Dokja, hands in his pockets, before falling into step with the older man. Kim Dokja had a small smile on his lips.

“You’re actually listening to me for once…” He muttered to himself.

“What’d you say?”

Kim Dokja shook his head, smile broadening slightly. “Nothing. What do you want to eat?”

Yoo Joonghyuk looked at him with a strange expression before he looked forward, pulling ahead of Kim Dokja. He held the door open for the older man and followed behind him into the dining hall. A blast of warm air rushed past them, chasing away the chill that’d settled over his body.

Yoo Joonghyuk answered his question late. “Something warm.”

Kim Dojka nodded. “I can’t believe it's so cold already…”

“Mhm.” Yoo Joonghyuk hummed. 

Kim Dokja could feel eyes on them as they walked together to get in line for hot soup. He was keenly aware of all the rumors whispered from peer to peer, his fellow student gossiping about the two’s relationship status. Kim Dojka, not wanting to cause Yoo Joonghyuk trouble, scooted away from him, his footsteps small and unnoticeable. It looked like he was just shuffling in place.

Yoo Joonghyuk glanced at him anyway with a small frown. Kim Dokja acted like nothing was different.

“What, got something to say?” Kim Dokja asked, purposefully antagonistic. 

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyebrow twitched. He scoffed, stepped forward, and ordered his soup.

Kim Dokja heard the whispers die down. Then, he realized when he came forward and brushed against Yoo Joonghyuk’s side by accident, that they were just waiting for them to do something worth talking about. Kim Dokja wanted to turn around and splash the hot soup on them, but he restrained himself.

The rumors had to die eventually, right?

Right?

#

When they came back to their dorm, Yoo Joonghyuk broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them.

“I thought you were gonna jump me when I came back.”

Kim Dokja’s gaze flattened. “You remembered.”

“It’s been like a week since that conversation. I thought you were going to kick me in the larynx?”

Kim Dokja got out of bed and brushed himself off. “I thought you were going to run me through with your sword. What’s that for, by the way?”

“Martial arts,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered.

“Oh, so you’re setting me up, is what I’m hearing.”

Yoo Joonghyuk tilted his head, a small smirk on his lips. “Do you think you’ve actually won any of our fights?”

“No way!” Kim Dokja’s cheeks reddened. “You let me win?”

“What do you think? Use your deduction skills, Sherlock.”

Recognizing that Yoo Joonghyuk was trying to rile Kim Dokja up, the older man rolled up the sleeves of his crewneck. “I got stronger over summer break. You wanna go again?”

Yoo Joonghyuk laughed. Kim Dokja hated that he found the sound so charming.

The younger man’s posture wasn’t cocky, but rather, it was sure. “Let me unpack my stuff and then we’ll head to the gym.”

“We just ate!” Kim Dokja said. He raised an eyebrow. “And you know I have no formal fighting experience. I’m going to fight dirty.”

“Sure,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered, not taking Kim Dokja seriously whatsoever. 

Kim Dokja sighed. Then, his brain flooded him with images of being held down by Yoo Joonghyuk, arm twisted behind his back, the younger man straddling his thighs. Kim Dokja’s eyes widened and he quickly busied himself with reorganizing his desk.

He wanted to bail on the fight desperately. It was a horrible idea—especially in public—so obviously the best compromise was to simply try to beat Yoo Joonghyuk right there and then.

Kim Dokja turned around and jumped on Yoo Joonghyuk’s back like a spider monkey. He wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, gripping tight with his thighs. Yoo Joonghyuk made a noise of mild shock, hands coming up to rip away the arms around his neck.

“Okay, asshole,” Yoo Joonghyuk said way too calmly. “You asked for it.”

Kim Dokja’s arms were removed from his neck, leading to the older man having to maintain his balance with his core. Unfortunately, his core was not very strong, so he fell backward slowly, melting onto the ground in a pathetic puddle. So, maybe this idea was bad…

Yoo Joonghyuk turned around to stare at Kim Dokja on the floor. He raised an eyebrow.

“Are you done?”

Kim Dokja, feeling a little brave, said, “I thought you said I was asking for it?”

Yoo Joonghyuk descended upon him in a flash. Kim Dokja tried to scramble backward and away, but he was yanked forward by the younger man. The next thing Kim Dokja knew, his hands were pinned above his head with one of Yoo Joonghyuk’s, and another hand was around his throat. There wasn’t much pressure, but still, it—

Kim Dokja turned a violent shade of red. He looked to the side.

“Okay, I yield. Whatever…”

Yoo Joonghyuk huffed. “That’s all the fight you got in you? I was hoping you’d squirm like a squid.”

Kim Dokja, pissed off, kicked his feet up and wrapped them around Yoo Joonghyuk’s waist. He used all his strength to flip them over… and failed.

“Yep, there’s the squid.” Yoo Joonghyuk smirked. His fingers flexed around Kim Dokja’s throat, and Kim Dokja, to his mortification, felt the familiar rush of warmth that was usually followed by getting hard. He let his legs drop from around Yoo Joonghyuk. Much to his relief, however, the younger man let him go and stood up. He looked at Kim Dokja lying on the ground. 

Yoo Joonghyuk titled his head in contemplation. “You did get stronger, though.”

Kim Dokja pouted, biting the inside of his cheek. He stood up after a moment, realizing he was still spread across the floor. He brushed himself off before glaring at Yoo Joonghyuk.

The younger man smirked. “What?”

“Nothing,” Kim Dokja said.

“Are you pouting?”

The older man made a face. “I am not. Shut up, asshole.”

“Okay,” Yoo Joonghyuk said in a tone that conveyed, “Oh, you’re so pouting.”

Kim Dokja got back in bed. He ignored Yoo Joonghyuk, opting to calm down (read: willing his penis to stop twitching in his boxers). Yoo Joonghyuk, thankfully, left him alone as he unpacked his bag. Grateful, Kim Dokja became restless and unfocused on his webnovels. His thoughts kept drifting to the feeling of a hand wrapped a hand around his throat. He was a virgin, for God’s sake, he shouldn’t be this freaky already!

“I’m gonna take a shower,” Kim Dokja announced. 

Yoo Joonghyuk ignored him, going about his business of setting up his computer. Kim Dokja grabbed his things and left to drench himself in cold water. It didn’t work.

Covering his mouth with his hand, Kim Dokja jerked off until he was spent, thinking of Yoo Joonghyuk the entire time. 

#

Kim Dokja avoided physical contact with Yoo Joonghyuk from there on out. Clearly, it was bad for his health and sanity. It wasn’t hard to do that, luckily, because Yoo Joonghyuk had never been the one to seek out touch. As well, if the younger man noticed Kim Dokja’s physical distance, he never commented on it.

Eventually, Kim Dokja got a grip on himself. He buckled down, got his shit together, and stopped focusing on the physical. Instead, he prepared for the semester eagerly. He got his books, hit the library, read his syllabuses ahead of time, and figured out his game plan for his last stretch in university. 

The day before classes began, however, Kim Dokja decided to go to the gym. He made sure to go when Yoo Joonghyuk was out, presumably preparing for his classes or walking around campus to plan his route between classes. Arriving at the gym, Kim Dokja decided to finally battle his nemesis again: the StairMaster. 

He made it 15 minutes before he had to tap out, but even then, it was because of the burn in his thighs rather than being totally out of breath. When he looked up, he saw the reflection of Yoo Joonghyuk behind him in the glass. Kim Dokja jumped like a scared cat, turning around his a hand on his chest as his heartbeat spiked. 

“What are you, the fucking boogeyman?” Kim Dokja cursed. 

“Something like that,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered, a teasing lilt to his voice. His lips curled into a smirk, but the crests of his cheeks were pink along with the tips of his ears. Yoo Joonghyuk brushed his hair out of his face with one hand, glancing to the side. 

Kim Dokja followed his gaze and saw nothing interesting. Huh.

Looking back to Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja found himself being scrutinized. He raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered easily. “Could you spot me?”

Kim Dokja let out a sharp laugh. “As if I could? Dude, your windpipe would be crushed.”

Yoo Joonghyuk looked Kim Dokja up and down. “I know my limits.”

“Then why do you need me to spot you?”

Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. “Are you an idiot? Basic safety, dumbass.”

“Okay, damn…” Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. “Lead the way, bitch.”

Following the younger man to the weight lifting area, Kim Dokja helped load a bar with weights. It was a shocking amount, but it made sense, given the obvious strength in Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest and arms. Kim Dokja realized that the weight was greater than his own, meaning that Yoo Joonghyuk could easily bench press him if he wanted to.

Whoa. Down boy.

Kim Dokja took that thought and put it down with a shotgun. He spread his legs behind the bench, lowering himself into a position to hover around the bar to protect Yoo Joonghyuk as best he could. Yoo Joonghyuk laid down, raising his arms to start. 

“You good?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked.

“I should be asking you that.”

Yoo Joonghyuk breathed out a small laugh. “You’re doing fine.”

“If you say so,” Kim Dokja. “What if this is all part of my plan to kill you and make your death look like an accident?”

“Sure,” Yoo Joonghyuk dismissed. He gripped the bar. “I’m starting.”

Kim Dokja nodded. 

Immediately, he realized agreeing to this was a grave mistake. Kim Dokja listened to Yoo Joonghyuk let out a deep grunt as he lifted the bar up for the first time, his muscles flexing and showing off their strength. His pecs also did this thing which did things to Kim Dokja. They were twitching with the motion and the visual made Kim Dokja want to pass out. As well, his breathing was ragged, and if Kim Dokja closed his eyes, it almost sounded like Yoo Joonghyuk was—like he was— um.

Kim Dokja did his best to disassociate. Ignoring problems could work, too. Was that safe? Probably not, but Kim Dokja knew he was basically ornamental in this equation, anyway. 

When Yoo Joonghyuk finished with 3 reps, Kim Dokja returned to the present moment. He stood up straight. 

“Is that it?”

Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. “Still got 5 more sets. I take 3 minutes in between,” he said as he set up a timer on his phone. Then, the younger man looked up at Kim Dokja with a glint in his eye, “unless you want to give it a shot?”

“I don’t think I can lift half the amount you do,” Kim Dokja answered, scratching the back of his neck. 

Yoo Joonghyuk chuckled. “I know that. We’ll set up another bench.”

“Oh,” Kim Dokja laughed. “Of course. Obviously.”

“So?” Yoo Joonghyuk prompted. “Let’s get it set up.”

A few minutes later, Kim Dokja was lying on his back on a bench. The bar loomed above him, weighted by three plates on each side of various sizes. The bar plus the weights came out to around 55 kgs or 125 lbs. That seemed doable to Kim Dokja. He reached out to put his hands on the grips and looked up at Yoo Joonghyuk who wore a smug face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kim Dokja asked, suspicious.

“No reason.”

Kim Dokja felt slightly afraid. “... Okay. You’ll catch it?”

“I’ll catch it, yes.”

“So you think I’m gonna drop it.”

Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged. “We’ll see.”

“I don’t like that answer, but alright…” Kim Dokja muttered. He took a deep breath. 

He adjusted his grip again. “Uh…”

“Just go for it,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja nodded and began lifting. Pathetically, he couldn’t lift it off the rack, his back arching from the strain. More than a few grunts escaped his lips.

Yoo Joonghyuk laughed. “Yep. Let’s take off some weight.”

“Bitch.”

“Do you wanna die?” Yoo Joonghyuk shot back. “Get up so we can take off the weight.”

Kim Dokja obeyed with a grumble. They reduced the weight to 45 kgs or 100 lbs. 

“Everyone starts somewhere,” Yoo Joonghyuk commented when he saw Kim Dokja’s frown.

Kim Dokja scoffed. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Remember it well,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “It won’t happen again.”

“Whatever…” Kim Dokja laughed, laying back down on the bench. He winked up at Yoo Joonghyuk and clicked his tongue. “I’ll outclass you in no time. Watch me.”

“Uh huh,” Yoo Joonghyuk hummed sarcastically before he focused on the task at hand. “Focus.”

“Can’t take a joke…” Kim Dokja mocked before he focused as well.

He gripped the bar, and with a quick warning to Yoo Joonghyuk, started lifting. He did his best to copy how the younger man did it, able to get in two and a half reps before his arms shook and the bar descended towards his chest. Kim Dokja let out an embarrassingly high whimper that made him want to bury himself six feet under. Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed the bar and put it back on the rack. 

“You’ll get better,” he said, reassuring. 

Kim Dokja gawked, a little breathless. “Why are you so nice today?”

“Maybe I’m in a charitable mood.”

Kim Dokja laughed. “Okay. Okay, maybe, sure. Your turn?”

They alternated for a bit until Kim Dokja had to tap out. Finishing up Yoo Joonghyuk’s sets, Kim Dokja was relieved he no longer had to listen to Yoo Joonghyuk’s sounds. They went and did a few other upper body exercises, Kim Dokja learned a lot about different gym equipment, and then he taught Yoo Joonghyuk some interesting calisthenics poses and stretches. When they were done with everything, Kim Dokja felt like a wobbly blob of jello.

“I’m gonna sleep so well tonight,” he moaned, hands on his knees after he took a long drink of water. “At least I don’t feel stressed anymore.”

Yoo Joonghyuk kicked the back of his knee and Kim Dokja fell face-first into a gym mat, catching himself with his forearms. He turned over and stared up at Yoo Joonghyuk and— holy shit, this angle.

“Kicking a man while he’s down,” Kim Dokja sighed. 

Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged. “What are you talking about?”

Kim Dokja had half a mind to lunge forward and bite his calf, but he didn’t have the energy to do so. Instead, he picked himself up and punched Yoo Joonghyuk in the stomach. The man grabbed his fist. 

“Ineffectual.” 

“Ineffec—oh, fuck you!” Kim Dokja groaned. “I hate you.”

“Mhm.”

Kim Dokja walked away from Yoo Joonghyuk, yanking his fist away from the younger man’s hand. He looked over his shoulder and headed towards the gym showers. “You coming?”

“I don’t want to have swamp ass, so yeah.”

Letting out a loud laugh, Kim Dokja walked ahead of Yoo Joonghyuk. When they reached the showers, they took stalls next to each other. Kim Dokja felt like he was going to have an aneurysm. However, there was no other choice, as all the other stalls were occupied. They were at the end, you know, the place no one wanted because you had to walk the gauntlet of eight other naked men.

Of course, by the time they started their showers, the other people began to filter out. Three minutes in, they were alone besides a lingering guy in the locker room section. Kim Dokja kept his eyes to himself, staring a hole through the wall as water poured over him. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed, enjoying the relaxing heat. Breaking out the body wash, he scrubbed himself clean before rinsing.

Yoo Joonghyuk finished before him, but only by a few seconds. When Kim Dokja turned, he caught a flash of the younger man’s cock.

Holy mother of God.

Kim Dokja looked away and pretended he saw nothing, but the image was already imprinted in his brain. Yoo Joonghyuk was cut, his lean but muscled abdomen ending in a graceful “V” shape. Not too buff, Kim Dokja noted, but rather in the range of perfect according to his preferences. Then, his cock was just absolutely massive even though it was soft. He was girthy and long, which just. Fried. Kim. Dokja’s. Circuit. 

“Dokja-ya,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. It cut through Kim Dokja’s spiraling thoughts like a knife.

Kim Dokja blinked. “What did you just call me?”

“Hm?” Yoo Joonghyuk played dumb. He raised an eyebrow. 

“You called for me informally.” 

Yoo Joonghyuk smirked. “And?”

Kim Dokja didn’t know how to respond. Some sick part of his brain loved it, and the other part of his brain was maulding. He recovered quickly, however, when he realized Yoo Joonghyuk was just messing with him for zoning out. 

Two can play at that game, Kim Dokja thought. He said in a smooth voice, “Joonghyuk-ah, you should know better than that.”

Yoo Joonghyuk looked him up and down. “And you should remember to put on a towel.”

K.O. 

Kim Dokja really, truly, seriously wanted to die. He wrapped his towel around his waist and walked past Yoo Joonghyuk. 

“Never speak of this again,” Kim Dokja said, his voice drenched in mortification. 

Yoo Joonghyuk sighed. “Whatever you say, hyung.”

“I’m going to slam your head in a locker.”

The younger man laughed quietly. “Just get dressed.”

Kim Dokja wanted to stick out his tongue and say, “ Don’t tell me what to do.” Instead, he gritted his teeth, grumbled expletives under his breath, and put his clothes on. Grabbing his gym bag, Kim Dokja exited as fast as he could, leaving Yoo Joonghyuk in the dust. The younger man didn’t bother catching up. Apparently, he had enough sense to know when he’d pushed Kim Dokja to his limit.

#

That night, when Kim Dokja lay down to go to sleep, Yoo Joonghyuk came back with food. The scent made Kim Dokja hungry, but he assumed that Yoo Joonghyuk only got food for himself. He sighed into his pillow and then startled when the younger man kicked the bedframe.

“Did you eat dinner?”

Kim Dokja blinked, lifting his head. “No?”

“Get up.”

Kim Dokja was too tired to complain. He rose, shuffling over to his desk where a bowl waited. It was soup, but better than the stuff they had in the dining hall. Kim Dokja licked his bottom lip.

“You made this?” He said. 

“Just eat,” Yoo Joonghyuk said with a nod. Kim Dokja didn’t ask any more questions and sat down, eating the soup. By the time he was finished, he felt a bit better, his body appreciating the electrolytes in the broth. He waited for Yoo Joonghyuk to finish, and when he did, he approached him to take his bowl to the kitchen to wash it. Yoo Joonghyuk took Kim Dokja’s instead.

“Rest.”

Kim Dokja sniffled. “But this is more fair?”

“Yeah, but you look like you got hit by a car,” Yoo Joonghyuk countered. Kim Dokja scoffed. 

Kim Dokja grumbled, “You look like you got hit with a train.”

“You always have to one-up me, huh?”

“It’s my nature,” Kim Dokja said with a sigh. He patted Yoo Joonghyuk’s cheek and was shocked internally when the man didn’t smack his hand away. “Thanks for the soup. It was really good.”

“Su—” Yoo Joonghyuk’s voice cracked. “Sure.”

He turned around and left for the kitchen. Kim Dokja shrugged and crawled back into bed, passing out as soon as his head hit his pillow. 

#

In a blur, the fall semester passed Kim Dokja by until just a few weeks before midterms. During this time, he spent most of his days in class and his evenings studying and exercising. He got used to going with Yoo Joonghyuk, and eventually, was able to bench the novice amount for his height and weight. Kim Dokja was proud of himself for that, but as he told the younger man, he wanted to stop before he truly began to bulk up. Kim Dokja was more of a swimmer and runner, after all. 

During this time as well, Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk gradually stopped eating at the dining hall. Kim Dokja would cheer on Yoo Joonghyuk in the kitchen as moral support because he was banned from touching the stove, but he didn’t mind, because it meant he didn’t have to do any of the work. After they ate, Yoo Joonghyuk would stream and Kim Dokja would study, no longer caring if he showed up in the background of his video. 

Occasionally, Kim Dokja would roll his chair over to the younger man’s area and address the audience while Yoo Joonghyuk played. 

“Hey, chat.” Kim Dokja smiled. “Long time no talk.”

Yoo Joonghyuk sighed. “Do you understand the concept of personal space?”

“No, anyway,” Kim Dokja said, ignoring him. “Do you guys really like watching this grump?”

“Be quiet.”

Kim Dokja ignored him again. “He’s pretty impassive, isn’t he? I see the appeal, though. It’s almost like an ASMR stream.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s shoulders relaxed slightly. 

Continuing, the older man said, “And he is absurdly good at what he does. I’m good at games, too, but not nearly as good as him.”

The chat asked questions about Kim Dokja’s favorite type of games. He smiled.

“I love horror!” He said before elaborating. “Especially team-based games where you have to escape a killer or collaborate to win. I get too scared playing alone. My laptop can’t handle most games anymore, though, so I only play things that can run on a toaster.”

“I didn’t know that,” Yoo Joonghyuk said quietly.

The chat’s speed doubled. Kim Dokja paid them no attention as he began to talk to Yoo Joonghyuk instead. 

“I thought I talked about horror before?”

Yoo Joonghyuk answered, his voice raising enough to be heard clearly, “Not in the context of games.”

“Oh, well,” Kim Dokja shrugged, “like I said, I haven’t played too many in a long time, so…”

Humming, Yoo Joonghyuk said, “A shame. I’d like to beat you up digitally, too.”

Kim Dokja’s face reddened. Sensing he was about to say something obscene, Yoo Joonghyuk pushed Kim Dokja away, the chair rolling beneath him. The older man let out a laugh of disbelief. 

The chat began moving at the speed of light.

“Jerk,” Kim Dokja said, but there was very little heat behind it.

“Mhm,” Yoo Joonghyuk hummed. “You know it's true.” 

Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. He settled down in bed with his notes and reread them, writing in the margins with little tips and tricks. Yoo Joonghyuk’s back faced him, and Kim Dokja couldn’t help but glance up at him repeatedly. 

He really does have nice shoulders…

OCTOBER - Fall Midterms

Kim Dokja finishes fall midterms before Yoo Joonghyuk. On the day of Yoo Joonghyuk’s last midterm, Kim Dokja decided to make cookies so they could celebrate. They were supposed to be sugar cookies, but…

“I kinda burnt them?” Kim Dokja said sheepishly. Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed one and took a bite despite the black top of the treat. 

“It’s good,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, holding a hand in front of his face as he spoke with his mouth full.

“Well, now you’re just lying.” Kim Dokja sighed.

Yoo Joonghyuk went to the kitchen utensil drawer and grabbed a thin paring knife. He proceeded to painstakingly cut the top off of every cookie, removing the burnt part. Then, he retrieved milk and two glasses, filling them up. Kim Dokja just watched, confused.

He reached out to try one of the dissected cookies, dunking it in his glass of milk. It wasn’t half-bad.

“Okay,” Kim Dokja nodded. “You saved them.”

Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged. “Always reduce the baking time by two to three minutes. You can bake more if needed, but can’t bake less if you don’t check.”

“Sage words,” Kim Dokja nodded. “Oh, fuck, these are actually pretty good! I might just be craving sugar, though.”

Yoo Joonghyuk nodded. “It’s my cheat day.”

“Isn’t that on Saturday?”

The younger man was silent. Kim Dokja laughed.

He leaned on his hand and winked at Yoo Joonghyuk. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell on you.”

Scoffing, the guy said, “Not like there’s anyone to tell.”

Kim Dokja tapped his index finger against his head. “I’ll always know. I’m keeping tabs in secret. It’s my only hope of catching up,” he said, grabbing another cookie.

“You don’t need to catch up,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “You’re good as you are.”

Kim Dokja chuckled. “Just ‘good?’”

“Stop fishing for compliments.”

Groaning, Kim Dokja gave Yoo Joonghyuk a look. Yoo Joonghyuk put five cookies on a plate and began walking out of the room. He paused in the doorway, looking at the older man.

“You coming?”

Kim Dokja stood with a tired sigh. “Just let me put the rest up.”

NOVEMBER - In the Latter Half of the Fall Semester

Kim Dokja was in the middle of getting ready for an event with his former coworkers when Yoo Joonghyuk returned from wherever he was for the last four hours. Considering he was toting his bookbag, he was probably studying in the library. 

“Whoa,” Yoo Joonghyuk said under his breath.

“Hm?”

Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head, looking to the left of Kim Dokja. Kim Dokja looked over his shoulder, wondering what he was looking at. There was nothing there but a blank wall. 

Kim Dokja shrugged it off. “Back from studying?”

“Yep,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered. He looked Kim Dokja up and down when Kim Dokja looked away to the mirror again. “Where are you going?”

“A bar,” Kim Dokja answered, grabbing a bottle of mousse and inspecting it. “Do you know how to use hair mousse?”

Yoo Joonghyuk said, “You don’t need it. Why are you going to a bar?”

Kim Dokja smiled, turning around. “I got invited by my coworkers from the summer session. They want to catch up before we all graduate.”

Yoo Joonghyuk relaxed slightly. The older man tilted his head, and impulsively asked, “Do you want to come with?”

Kim Dokja expected him to say no. He expected the young man to scoff and say something sarcastic. Kim Dokja did not expect him to pull on his coat and say, “Sure. Lead the way.”

#

Hands shaking, Kim Dokja held open the door for Yoo Joonghyuk as they entered the bar. It was louder than he expected already, but weirdly enough, the crowd calmed Kim Dokja’s nerves. He felt like he could disappear into the small sea of people. 

“Where are your friends?” Yoo Joonghyuk raised his voice over the music.

“Um.” Kim Dokja checked his phone. He looked at a selfie his former team lead sent him and quickly identified it as the back corner booth. “Over there.”

Yoo Joonghyuk pushed through the crowd, leading Kim Dokja through it. Kim Dokja’s eyes drifted down to the hold the man had on his forearm. His cheeks felt a little red, but it was probably just the heat of the room. He let himself be pulled through the sea. 

Arriving at the table, the situation was immediately overwhelming to Kim Dokja—he’d never been in a situation with a group of people where the intent was to socialize instead of complete a group project or finish a task at work. Yoo Joonghyuk knew this and stuck close to Kim Dokja, his thigh touching his. Kim Dokja’s thigh bounced, his heel tapping against the floor, and then Yoo Joonghyuk went further and put his hand on the older man’s thigh. 

“Chill,” Yoo Joonghyuk said calmly in his ear. Kim Dokja took a breath, gave him a quick nod with a hesitant smile, and did his best to relax.

It didn’t take long. As it turned out, it wasn’t hard to get to know people when they weren’t biased from knowing you as a child or a teen. Kim Dokja had a rough upbringing, to say the least, so he appreciated the way they talked to him like a person rather than some kind of accident. 

Before the night could grow old, Kim Dokja found himself laughing with his coworkers and sipping drinks slowly instead of feeling the urge to hammer them back. He smiled, he joked, he listened and spoke even when he wasn’t spoken to first, offering stories of his own. A few were about Yoo Joonghyuk.

After one such story, one of the other students finally asked the one question Kim Dokja dreaded.

“So,” the guy asked. “Are you two dating?”

Kim Dokja didn’t notice the way Yoo Joonghyuk looked at him at that moment, too paralyzed by the question. If he had, he would’ve seen the very picture of hope. 

Kim Dokja, as soon as he came to his senses, answered in a firm voice, “No, we don’t see each other that way.”

The guy smiled. The hand on Kim Dokja’s thigh squeezed. Kim Dokja took a sharp breath before he asked, “Why?”

“I’m sure you know, already, that it’s one of the main topics on campus,” the guy said. He sat back in the booth, smirking at Kim Dokja. “A lot of people were wondering what would happen if you two broke up, but I’m guessing you were never together?”

The other people were eagerly listening to their conversation. For some reason, Kim Dokja couldn’t bear to glance in Yoo Joonghyuk’s direction. He said, “Nope. Never together.”

Yoo Joonghyuk took his hand off Kim Dokja’s thigh. Only after the presence was gone did Kim Dokja glance in his direction. When he did, Yoo Joonghyuk had a neutral expression on his face as he took a sip from his drink.

Ah.

So he really doesn’t care.

“Good for me,” the guy said. His expression was flirtatious. “I was too scared of your friend there, but now that I know you’re available, I gotta ask: do you want to go on a date with me?”

Kim Dokja looked around the table. His face was slowly becoming redder and redder. Truly, he had no interest in the guy. It’d never even crossed his mind. Maybe, though, the guy would grow on him. Maybe Kim Dokja could get his feet wet and get into the dating pool so he could stop dreaming about Yoo Joonghyuk. Maybe, maybe, maybe. The world was filled with possibilities if Kim Dokja just put himself out there.

His voice was a bit stiff when he finally welled up the courage to say, “Sure.”

The guy smiled broadly. “Yeah?”

Kim Dokja nodded, a blush still high on his cheeks. The table erupted into chaos as people teased the two of them, congratulating the guy for his courage and for finally asking Kim Dokja out. He wondered how long this crush had been brewing on the other guy’s end and began to feel guilty.

Am I using him?

Am I a person who does that?

Yoo Joonghyuk stood up after 10 more minutes of nursing his drink. He patted Kim Dokja on the shoulder, squeezing it slightly. The simple action took the older man’s breath away for reasons unknown. Abruptly, Kim Dokja realized that he didn’t want to be left alone with his former coworkers. He stood with Yoo Joonghyuk and excused himself.

“We both have early plans,” Kim Dokja said as an excuse. Neither of them had plans.

The laughter died down at the table. Two of the women glanced at each other with odd expressions. Kim Dokja could feel it as Yoo Joonghyuk walked away from him into the crowd, leaving him to the wolves. The guy who’d asked Kim Dokja out stood. 

“May I walk you home?” He asked. “Just to make sure you get back safe.”

Yoo Joonghyuk was long gone. Kim Dokja realized that upon looking over his shoulder. He didn’t know how to say no, so he didn’t. The guy walked him all the way back to his dorm, and when they reached the front doors of the building, he stopped Kim Dokja.

“I know this is improper before the first date,” the guy asked, “but can I kiss you?”

How do I say no?

Can I say no?

I don’t want to kiss him.

“Ah,” Kim Dokja croaked out. The guy immediately realized his error.

“Sorry, sorry… you’re just so…” He gestured up and down Kim Dokja’s body and face. “Can you blame me?”

Kim Dokja just wanted to run away. He wanted to take back ever agreeing to that date. 

“Have a good night!” Kim Dokja said. “Please get home safe,” he added for politeness. 

Saying their goodbyes, Kim Dokja entered the building in the most normal fashion possible (definitely not speed walking). Then, once he was out of sight, he ran up the stairs to his floor instead of taking the elevator so he was too out of breath to scream. He pitched himself over and gripped his knees, staring at the tile floor.

“What just happened?” Kim Dokja asked himself. “What the fuck did I do?”

He breathed heavily, panic in his eyes. Standing up, Kim Dokja ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m so screwed.”

Chapter Text

NOVEMBER - In the Latter Half of the Fall Semester

Kim Dokja walked back to his dorm room in silence. He was still shocked by the events that transpired a mere twenty minutes prior. Entering his dorm, he saw Yoo Joonghyuk nowhere. He assumed he was in the showers, so Kim Dokja followed suit. He cleaned himself up, and upon returning to his room, was greeted with the sight of Yoo Joonghyuk lying down in bed with the covers pulled over his head. 

“Joonghyuk-ah,” Kim Dokja said, deciding it was time to start using the suffix. After all, he considered him a friend at this point, and Kim Dokja needed a friend in that moment. “What did I just agree to?! I do not want to go on a date with that guy! He asked to kiss me, too, after walking back and just,” Kim Dokja made a fake retching noise, “no.”

Yoo Joonghyuk pulled the covers down. He didn’t look sleepy in the slightest. “He did what?”

Kim Dokja blinked. “He asked to kiss me and I ran away.”

“Good,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja’s stomach felt like it was on a swing. “Someone who asks you out in front of other people and pressures you to say yes does not deserve your time.”

The feeling of anxiety that’d overwhelmed Kim Dokja since leaving the bar with the guy dissipated. Instead, he felt angry. 

“Right?!” Kim Dokja sat on his bed and groaned, covering his face with his hands. “If I said no, I’d kill the mood, so what choice did I have? His friends were all invested as well…”

“Kim Dokja,” the younger man said. Kim Dokja looked at him, uncovering his face. “Do you want to date anyone in general?”

The anxiety came back. Kim Dokja’s stomach was back on the swing, swooping back and forth. He pretended to think for a moment even though Yoo Joonghyuk was the first and only one who appeared in his mind’s eye.

“The idea of dating someone I like is good, but…”

Yoo Joonghyuk answered promptly. “Just let him down, then. Don’t bother being gentle about it because he wasn’t gentle with you.”

Kim Dokja’s ears flamed at the idea. That was so frightening. It was easy bickering with his friend, but anyone else? He still had the urge to duck his head and be polite and non-confrontational. Don’t react, don’t engage, survive. 

“Have you ever turned someone down?” Kim Dokja asked.

“Plenty,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. 

Kim Dokja let out a sudden, loud laugh. “Of course. What did I expect? People would climb Mt. Everest to get a chance at dating you.”

Yoo Joonghyuk hummed. He didn’t sound happy as he grumbled something under his breath. 

“Joonghyuk-ah,” Kim Dokja said softly, “I want you to find your happy ending.”

The younger man pulled the blankets back over his head and turned away from Kim Dokja. “Gross. Stop talking.”

“You’re supposed to say it back!” Kim Dokja whined. “Say you want me to be happy! Is it that hard? I’m trying to teach you to be expressive. Speak your mind.”

“My mind,” Yoo Joonghyuk grunted out, “wants to go to sleep.”

“Spoilsport,” Kim Dokja pouted. “I thought we were having a moment…”

Yoo Joonghyuk sighed. Kim Dokja got under his covers, and when he closed his eyes, he heard the younger man say something quietly. He couldn’t make it out, but for some reason, Kim Dokja felt warm. Maybe it was his tone, maybe it was just because it was Yoo Joonghyuk being Yoo Joonghyuk.

#

Kim Dokja had the guy’s number from when they worked together. The day after they’d gone to the bar, Saturday morning, Kim Dokja wrote and deleted fifteen versions of the same text. The backspace button was being abused.

Yoo Joonghyuk was working on his computer with his headphones on. Kim Dokja looked at his back and sighed wistfully. 

“This would be so much easier if we were dating,” Kim Dokja muttered to himself so quietly he was sure Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t hear him over the music he was listening to. Still, he held his breath as if the man had super hearing and breathed out a sigh when he gave no indication that he secretly had a superpower.

Kim Dokja wrote out another text, and this time, it was the one he sent. It read: “ I’m sorry, but I have feelings for someone else. I do not want to lead you on, so I am canceling our date. Also, please never ambush someone with a confession in public again. I felt like I couldn’t say no, which was very uncomfortable. Thank you.”

Heart beating quickly, Kim Dokja laid back in his bed. He began reading a book he’d checked out from the campus library, but over the next hour, checked his phone over and over. Kim Dokja checked until the sent indicator under the message was changed to read.

“Ah!” Kim Dokja yelped when he saw dots appear. The guy was responding already. “Kill me. Oh, I hate this.”

“Why are you yelling?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked, taking one side of head headphones and pushing it off his ear. 

“The guy!”

Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow.

Kim Dokja elaborated. “He’s texting back. I just turned him down. Maybe I was too harsh… actually, no, fuck that. I probably wasn’t harsh enough. Look at what he just sent me.”

Getting up to show Yoo Joonghyuk the text, Kim Dokja then recalled what his text said.

I have feelings for someone else.

“Hahaha, actually, let me just read it to you.”

Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest. Kim Dokja read the text the guy had sent aloud. 

“‘I didn’t ambush you and I resent the accusation that I did. You could’ve easily said no, and now you’re making me out to be the bad guy. I didn’t take you as someone who plays with other’s feelings, but I guess I was wrong.’”

“What a bitch,” Yoo Joonghyuk said darkly.

“Oh, he’s typing again…” Kim Dokja muttered, his gut twisting. “What the fuck?”

“What did he say?”

“I’m gonna kill him. Oh my God. He said, ‘Enjoy the reputation you’ve earned.’”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s expression was stormy. “Send me his number.”

“I’m not going to—”

“Send me. His number.” Yoo Joonghyuk said with a threatening pause. 

He sent the younger man the asshole’s number. Yoo Joonghyuk typed on his phone at a speed that could result in a crazed manifesto. Two minutes later, he hit send.

“He won’t bother you anymore,” Yoo Joonghyuk said easily. “Keep your ringer on.”

He turned up the sound on his phone. Kim Dokja, five minutes later, received ding followed by a text from the guy who’d threatened him. 

“‘I’m sorry. Please accept my humble apologies. I respect your decision and will not bother you from this moment forward.’”

“Yoo Joonghyuk,” Kim Dokja asked slowly, “what did you say?”

“Nothing much.”

“Joonghyuk-ah.”

The younger man gave Kim Dokja a look. “When have you ever known me to hold back?”

Kim Dokja pursed his lips. “Alright. Fair point. And,” he paused, sighing, “thank you.”

“Don’t talk to assholes like him again.” Yoo Joonghyuk said in a flat tone. His headphones were still half-off, but he was facing his computer. “I won’t be here to clean up your mess every time.”

“Oh, then I guess I shouldn’t talk to you! What a pity.”

“You can’t stay away,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja’s cheeks reddened, but then the younger man tacked on: “You’re like a fly.”

Kim Dokja got up and smacked the back of his head. 

“And what does that make you? A pile of shit?”

A hand flew backward towards Kim Dokja’s stomach. The older man laughed as he dodged it, returning to his bed with a flop. He sighed.

That’s more like it.

#

Before finals week came, Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk ended up in a park upon Kim Dokja’s insistence. The older man was attempting to milk the time he had left with his roommate, which was pathetic, but he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted to enjoy himself, and part of that was going places with Yoo Joonghyuk. 

He had a whole checklist. He wanted to go to a cafe, to the movies, to an arcade… and yeah, sure, these were common date spots, but Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t seem to notice or care. He was probably just tagging along because he was bored and needed to not sit at his desk all the time. 

At this park, there were ducks. Kim Dokja brought a bag of frozen peas and corn to scatter because it was much better than bread but still a treat. He was getting it out of his satchel when Yoo Joonghyuk stopped him.

“You’re not supposed to feed them at all,” Yoo Joonghyuk scolded with a frown. “They become reliant on humans that way.”

“Well,” Kim Dokja said, looking out at all the other people feeding the ducks. “They’re kinda like pets at a certain point. Everyone feeds them here, so they’re already reliant.”

“That’s a poor justification.”

“What do you suppose we do? Let them starve, now?”

Yoo Joonghyuk frowned. “Hm.”

“See, its not easily solvable.” Kim Dokja said. However, he’d been swayed. He put the bag of frozen peas and corn away. “I guess we don’t want to keep creating new generations of reliant ducks, though…”

“You’re like a duck.”

Kim Dokja blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I feed you, and you rely on me for it. Like a duck.”

“I…” Kim Dokja was at a loss for words. He would’ve cursed if a bunch of children weren’t playing behind them on a playground. He changed topics. “I don’t like relying on people.”

Yoo Joonghyuk hummed in agreement. “I don’t, either.”

“Why?”

“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “I can trust myself. I can’t get let down that way.”

“... that’s a very lonely way of living,” Kim Dokja realized. “I don’t like relying on people, but I would like to learn. I want to get used to it, I guess.”

“Hence going to the bar with those people.”

“Yeah,” Kim Dokja scoffed, kicking a rock. “Look at how that turned out.”

Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged. Kim Dokja sighed. 

The older man said, “Maybe when I graduate and am employed, I’ll make friends with my coworkers. I’d like that.”

“Kim Dokja is sociable,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “Reign in your violent impulses, and you’ll be fine.”

“Violent impulses?” Kim Dokja laughed. “I think you’re talking about yourself.”

“Then why are you always attacking me?”

Kim Dokja gawked. “You provoke me!”

“And you’re going to react to every provocation?”

“No,” he grumbled. “Ugh. Be quiet. Stop being reasonable.”

“Hm,” Yoo Joonghyuk hummed. A few minutes of silence passed as they walked around the park, looping the pond. Yoo Joonghyuk flicked Kim Dokja’s neck. “Stop worrying.”

“Again, violent impulses…” Kim Dokja pouted, rubbing the spot on his neck.

“Just when it comes to you.”

Kim Dokja’s chest felt tight. He was the only one who got to see this side of Yoo Joonghyuk. The younger man may not tell Kim Dokja his deepest darkest secrets—or even his basic thoughts, for that matter—but Kim Dokja was allowed to see his reasoning skills and his calm center. He was allowed to see his anger, his frustration. And, very occasionally, he was allowed to see Yoo Joonghyuk’s dull edge—the opposite of the sharp blade that filleted others without hesitation. Kim Dokja could be near him and not be cut.

So, at that moment, he wanted to grab Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand. He wanted to see Yoo Joonghyuk bare. It was different from the drive to have sex, though, because this bareness was all-encompassing. Kim Dokja wanted to know what made the man tick, what drove him, what his dreams were, what he—

Please stop, Kim Dokja begged his beating heart. Don’t feel this way. Please.

I can’t handle it.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Kim Dokja asked after he realized he’d been quiet for a little too long.

Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. “I’d rather cook.”

DECEMBER - Finals Week

Kim Dokja’s finals were approaching quickly. As he got older, time seemed to pass faster, and now it was going at a pace that made his breath quicken like he’d run a race.

Graduation meant a number of things. First of all, it meant getting a job and entering the workforce in a position he’d likely remain in for a few years. Secondly, it meant that he’d have to move away which resulted in more things to worry about. Namely, he worried the physical distance between himself and Yoo Joonghyuk would lead to the deterioration of their dynamic, and therefore, their friendship.

It terrified Kim Dokja, but inevitable events were not kind to anyone. Kim Dokja had to take the struggles as they came, just like he always had. 

One thing that hurt, though, was that Kim Dokja didn’t have a single person attending his commencement ceremony for when he really did graduate. Thinking of crossing the stage alone with no one to cheer him on made him feel like shit. He had half a mind to ask Yoo Joonghyuk to attend, but he was too scared to ask and didn’t want to look pathetic in front of him. Kim Dokja had his pride, too.

He was studying in the library when the above finally got to him. His eyes began to water, so he brushed the beginning of tears away and leaned back to look at the ceiling. The fluorescent lights burned spots in his retinas, leaving Kim Dokja with dots in his vision. When he looked back down, he realized he was alone in this corner of the library. 

And he began to cry.

#

Later that same night, Kim Dokja worked out at the gym until he dropped. His legs shook as he showered, hand against the wall to keep himself up. He was so, so tired and without a doubt in a deep depressive episode. When he walked back to the dorm, he just wanted to sleep. Luckily, he’d already done his studying for the night, so he could just pass out.

Entering their room, Kim Dokja waved to the stream when he passed behind Yoo Joonghyuk. He kept quiet, not saying anything unlike how he usually did. He didn’t expect Yoo Joonghyuk to notice.

“Hey,” Yoo Joonghyuk said after a while.

Kim Dokja looked up. He was currently slipping into sleep shorts and an old, ratty t-shirt to go to bed. 

“Hey,” he said back, voice soft.

Yoo Joonghyuk looked away from the screen. His character died in the game. Whatever he saw on Kim Dokja’s face made him turn around, apologize to the viewers, and turn off the stream.

“What’s wrong?”

Kim Dokja shook his head, making a face as he looked to the side to avoid looking Yoo Joonghyuk in the eye. “Nothing. Why did you end your stream?”

Yoo Joonghyuk asked again, “What’s wrong?”

“I said nothing!” Kim Dokja raised his voice before lowering it. They were the neighbors from hell, he knew that—always yelling and arguing over pointless shit, but he didn’t want to cause a scene tonight. 

The younger man pulled off his headphones and stood. He was taller than Kim Dokja, enough that he looked down at him like Kim Dokja was small, and not just physically. Like he was a small person who could only do small things, so small he’d barely make an impact, so small that it was like he didn’t even matter. Kim Dokja knew this wasn’t what Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to make him feel, but it's what happened. He gritted his teeth.

“I feel like shit, okay?” Kim Dokja admitted. “I want to punch a hole through the wall or break a window with a chair. I just came back from the gym to try to calm down, so please, just leave me alone.”

“No.”

“No, what?” Kim Dokja said, his voice cracking. He coughed into his fist. “You’re not gonna piss off? Come on, you don’t—”

Kim Dokja was going to accuse him of not paying attention like he was some neglected significant other begging for their boyfriend’s attention. However, Kim Dokja knew that was fundamentally untrue. Yoo Joonghyuk treated him well, even if he was an ass otherwise.

“I don’t ‘what?’”

Kim Dokja amended his statement. “You shouldn’t care.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyebrow twitched. “Who are you to tell me what I should and shouldn’t care about?”

“I’m not, I’m just—”

“Being an idiot?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked rhetorically, reducing the space between them with a few slow steps. He crossed his arms as he said, “Don’t tell me what to do. Now, tell me what’s wrong because I can feel the storm brewing over you already. I don’t feel like getting struck by lightning, at the moment.”

Kim Dokja rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. Metaphors, really? Anyway, I’m fine! I exercised it out.”

“... Do I need to change tactics?”

“What?” Kim Dokja’s brow pinched. “Yoo Joonghyuk, you—”

“Please,” Yoo Joonghyuk said in a tone that shook Kim Dokja to his core. “Tell me what happened.”

“I,” Kim Dokja began, mouth open as he tried to think of how to respond. He’d begun speaking before he had the words because Yoo Joonghyuk had taken them from him. He took them from Kim Dokja with the way his eyebrows furrowed, the way his eyes looked so concerned in the low light of the room, the way his mouth was curved in a frown. “I don’t, um…”

“Please. You’re my…” Yoo Joonghyuk trailed off before he lowered his voice and grunted as if it pained him, “... friend. I want to know.”

That made Kim Dokja laugh so loud and for so long, he probably woke up the whole building. 

“You sound like you’re being held at gunpoint!” Kim Dokja fell to the floor, so weak he couldn’t stand. Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at him. Kim Dokja extended a hand. “Lift me up?”

Yoo Joonghyuk took the hand without a moment of hesitation, and Kim Dokja used to moment to execute a sneak attack: he hugged Yoo Joonghyuk around the waist and buried his face into his shoulder.

“Friend, huh?” Kim Dokja muttered against his warm skin. It was the same shoulder he’d bit almost nine months ago, exposed from the slipping neckline of Yoo Joonghyuk’s loose-collared t-shirt. Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t hug him back at first, but he did bring up a hand to awkwardly pat his back. Kim Dokja knew he was being “too much” so he tried to back away, but as soon as he did, Yoo Joonghyuk pulled him into a hug so tight it squished the air out of Kim Dokja’s lungs. 

“Ah!” Kim Dokja gasped out. “Joonghyuk-ah, you’re killing me!”

“I like it when you call me that,” the younger man said, loosening his grip just enough for Kim Dokja to breathe.

“What?” Kim Dokja asked stupidly before it dawned on him. “Joonghyuk-ah?”

Silence. Kim Dokja could feel him nod, the wisps of the hair near Yoo Joonghyuk’s neck and ear brushing Kim Dokja’s cheek. 

“You’ve never really been close with anyone either, have you?” Kim Dokja asked after a moment. 

“... I wouldn’t put it that way.”

Kim Dokja laughed. “Well, let's just say it's been a while!”

Patting Yoo Joonghyuk’s back, Kim Dokja pulled away before he started swaying in his embrace like a maiden. The first thing he noticed was Yoo Joonghyuk’s red ears and a creeping flush around the back of his neck. Kim Dokja smirked.

“Come on, is it that embarrassing to be my friend?” Kim Dokja teased. 

“Horribly,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered sarcastically. “Now, is there anything I could do to help you?”

“Don’t sound so pained, Yoo Joonghyuk.”

“Just answer the damn question,” the younger man said, clearly growing impatient with Kim Dokja’s dodging. 

Kim Dokja, still keenly aware of his exhaustion, sat down on his bed. He didn’t like how Yoo Joonghyuk was looking right at him and standing like an ominous street light, so he patted the bed beside him. Yoo Joonghyuk sat after a moment of staring like he was confused about what the pat meant.

“No one is attending my graduation ceremony,” Kim Dokja said. Surprisingly, his chest felt lighter the moment the words escaped his mouth. 

Yoo Joonghyuk frowned. “Yes, you do.”

Kim Dokja gave him a look. “Who?”

“Me.”

They stared at each other. Kim Dokja tilted his head. “Really?”

“I always planned to,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “It felt obvious, to me.”

“You know you need to register your attendance, right?”

Yoo Joonghyuk laughed under his breath as if Kim Dokja was the odd one here. “Yeah, I already did.”

“Oh,” Kim Dokja said, at a loss for words besides, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “Just make sure to graduate with honors, or I won’t buy beer after.”

DECEMBER - End of Fall Semester

The night grades were finalized, Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja spent their second to last night in the dorms getting drunk. At first, they hung out in the student lobby with the others celebrating, but then Yoo Joonghyuk gave Kim Dokja a look and they escaped to their room. 

Breaking open the beers that Yoo Joonghyuk had promised to get, they sat on the rug and played cards. Kim Dokja beat Yoo Joonghyuk at go fish but Yoo Joonghyuk beat Kim Dokja at bullshit. They cycled through different games, passing a winner’s baton between the two of them each round before Kim Dokja’s vision started to swim like he was a fish. 

“Joonghyuk.” Kim Dokja hiccuped, covering his mouth with his palm. “Let’s play a game.”

Yoo Joonghyuk was nowhere near as drunk as Kim Dokja. “We’ve been playing games.”

“No, I mean…” Kim Dokja waved his hand in the air as he tried to find the words. “A fun game? Ah, a word game. No cards, I mean.”

“Ah.” Yoo Joonghyuk nodded.

“Truth or dare?”

“No.” Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. “That’s only okay in groups. What would we even dare each other?”

Kim Dokja pouted. “I could make you do a lot. I’d have so much power.”

“Uh-huh,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, reaching forward to steal Kim Dokja’s beer. He hadn’t finished it yet and gawked when Yoo Joonghyuk drank the rest of it. 

“That was the last beer!” Kim Dokja cried out.

Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. “You’re plenty drunk. Anyway, as you were saying?”

“Oh, um…” Kim Dokja thought long and hard about what he was going to say. Coming up with a coherent thought was harder than herding cats. Kim Dokja cracked out a water bottle and drank a third of it, so he could begin to regain his senses. He raised a finger as he came to a sudden epiphany. “Truth or truth! If you can’t answer, you get physically punished.”

The younger man snorted. It was such a unique sound, coming from him, that it made Kim Dokja smile lazily as he enjoyed the privilege of hearing it. “What, like a slap?”

“Exactly,” Kim Dokja said, punctuating the word with a clap of his hands. “I’ll start.”

“I never agreed.”

“I don’t care,” Kim Dokja steamrolled. 

They asked each other questions on an off until Kim Dokja started to feel more sober but still tipsy. He drank water, nodding along as Yoo Joonghyuk gave his answers and speaking eagerly as he gave his own. The atmosphere made it easier to talk.

Then, Kim Dokja asked, “When… was the last time you lied about something?”

“Monday.”

“Oh? About what?”

Yoo Joonghyuk chuckled. “About where something was.”

“Do I get more details than that?”

“Well,” Yoo Joonghyuk elaborated, “one of the people who’s harassed me all year asked where the lecture hall was for the biochem exam and I told her a room in the wrong direction on the other side of the building.”

“Yoo Joonghyuk!” Kim Dokja yelled, but his lips curled into a smile. “Did they deserve it?”

“She did, yes.”

“Good,” Kim Dokja laughed. “Wow, that’s evil…”

“Mhm.” Yoo Joonghyuk cracked open a water bottle. “She’s a bitch, so, she had it coming.”

“You’re so loose-lipped when you’re drunk,” Kim Dokja commented.

“Says you.” Yoo Joonghyuk sighed as he leaned back, looked at Kim Dokja, and thought. “When’s the last time you lied.”

Kim Dokja snorted. “All the time.”

“Oh?”

“Like, chronically. Habitually. No, well, not habitually because that makes me sound like a pathological liar, but I lie a lot to people. Just in general. You know, to get them off my back or to save their feelings. Like that time I agreed to go on a date with that bastard and…” Kim Dokja trailed off. “Yeah.”

Yoo Joonghyuk tilted his head, leaning it on his shoulder as he remained propped up while leaning back. “Have you ever lied to me?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

Yoo Joonghyuk narrowed his eyes. “About what?”

“A lot, but also like nothing, you know?” Kim Dokja didn’t know why he just admitted that. “Mostly lies by omission.”

“And?”

“What?”

Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow. “Do I get more details than that?”

Kim Dokja, in all his tipsy glory, realized he’d dug himself into a deep, deep hole. He did his best to come up with an answer that would get Yoo Joonghyuk off his back.

“I lied to you last week when you asked if the food was good,” Kim Dokja said. “It was a half-lie because I dislike tomatoes, but the pasta was really tasty otherwise! I still ate it because you made it, though.”

Yoo Joonghyuk nodded. He looked like he wanted to ask more, and Kim Dokja realized that he’d likely ask a follow-up on his next turn. So, Kim Dokja needed something to shock the younger man into forgetting that line of conversation entirely. 

Kim Dokja asked, “What was your first kiss like?”

“Boring,” Yoo Joonghyuk said easily. “What about you?”

Kim Dokja laughed awkwardly. “Shouldn’t you ask a different question?”

“There’s no rule against it.”

“Ah, well…” Kim Dokja trailed off. “I kinda, um, haven’t had one…”

“Really?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked, but he was smirking. Kim Dokja thought he looked like someone else at that moment—like a campus playboy or something along those lines. Kim Dokja frowned. 

“Yes, honest to God.”

Yoo Joonghyuk nodded, his ears turning red. Gone was the image of a playboy in Kim Dokja’s head. The younger man coughed behind his hand. Kim Dokja sat forward, leaning his cheek against his palm, and asked.

“Why is everyone so surprised when I tell them I haven’t dated anyone, much less kissed?”

Yoo Joonghyuk looked like he had things to say about that, judging by his expression. “Because you—look at yourself.”

He frowned. “Yeah? Average.”

“Kim Dokja,” Yoo Joonghyuk groaned. He glared at the older man even as he covered his face with one hand, looking at Kim Dokja through a gap in his fingers. “You are not average.”

Kim Dokja sat up. He crawled forward, approaching the younger man until he sat back on his knees in front of him. Then, he leaned into Yoo Joonghyuk’s space.

“Do you think I’m pretty, Joonghyuk-ah?”

Chapter Text

DECEMBER - End of Fall Semester

“Do you think I’m pretty, Joonghyuk-ah?”

Yoo Joonghyuk swallowed. He said in a thick voice, “Extremely.” 

Kim Dokja laughed. The sound faded as he looked at Yoo Joonghyuk’s pinched expression. He looked conflicted. Now, keep in mind, up to that exact moment, Kim Dokja thought Yoo Joonghyuk was just being nice. However, Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t do nice, he does blunt honesty. So, Kim Dokja knew his words were the truth. He thought Kim Dokja was extremely pretty.

They had less than two days left together.

It was now or never. Kim Dokja didn’t want to be the person who never took his shot.

“Joonghyuk-ah,” Kim Dokja asked quietly. “How drunk are you?”

“... I’m aware of what I just said if that’s what you mean.”

Kim Dokja licked his lips. Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes followed the movement. 

“Joonghyuk-ah,” Kim Dokja repeated. “Can I kiss you?”

“How drunk are you?”

“I’ve been drinking water for thirty minutes, I had two beers, so I am fine,” Kim Dokja swore. “Answer me.”

Yoo Joonghyuk swallowed. His eyes searched Kim Dokja’s face like he was a puzzle he couldn’t solve. Then, to Kim Dokja’s devastation, he said, “No. I won’t kiss you.”

Kim Dokja’s expression faltered, and he sat back on his heels. Preparing to bust out apology after apology, Kim Dokja opened his mouth, but Yoo Joonghyuk spoke first.

“Dokja-ya,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, addressing the older man as though he was younger. “Do you want to kiss me because I am Yoo Joonghyuk, or because you want to be kissed by someone?”

Kim Dokja knew the answer. “Because it’s you, dumbass.”

“How am I dumb for doubting?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked. He reached forward and pushed Kim Dokja’s chest with two fingers, knocking him back onto his butt. Kim Dokja frowned. “You said you didn’t have feelings for me in the bar. I got your message, loud and clear.”

“I—” Kim Dokja’s voice cracked. “I lied, you fucking idiot! I’ve been in love with you for like three fucking months! I didn’t say anything because I thought you felt differently, but I figured, hey! Why not give it a shot if I’m gonna have to say goodbye in a day? No awkward living situation then!”

Yoo Joonghyuk blinked. “You’re in love with me?”

“Well, when you say it, it makes me want to yack,” Kim Dokja said. “You know, I hated you way back when. You were such an ass.”

“I’m not now?”

“Not really,” Kim Dokja said softly. “Not since you started making food for me, I think. That day you made the noodles was the turning point. Huh, that phrase ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ is true!”

Yoo Joonghyuk breathed out a quiet laugh. “You…”

Kim Dokja swallowed. “What?”

“... You are so oblivious that it is genuinely infuriating. I have been trying to work up the courage to ask you out all semester, meanwhile, you were doing your very best to crush my hopes and dreams just because you were scared of the potential outcome. Could you have, you know, read the fucking room?”

“Uh…”

“I mean, come on!” Yoo Joonghyuk was becoming uncharacteristically hysterical. He was also saying more words at once than Kim Dokja had ever heard leave his lips. “I cook you food. I flirt with you. I—okay, I don’t do much else, but I’m also there. I want to be there, I want to hear what you have to say, I want to touch you and beat away other people with a brick in a sock when they so much as look at you wrong. I treat you better than I treat anyone else because you, Kim Dokja, are the only one who can match me.”

Kim Dokja blinked. He squinted and tilted his head as he asked, “You flirt with me?”

“Frequently.”

“Wow, you suck at flirting, then,” Kim Dokja muttered. Then, his eyes widened as he processed the full meaning of Yoo Joonghyuk’s words. “Does this mean we’re dating?”

“... Yes?” Yoo Joonghyuk said, strangled. “Yes. We are dating, starting now.”

Kim Dokja opened his phone. “I need to record the date of our anniversary. This is very important.”

“You’re so…” Yoo Joonghyuk sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He stood, snatched Kim Dokja’s phone from his hands, and placed it on a desk. Then, he squatted, picked up Kim Dokja, and threw him on his bed. It smelled delightfully of his boyfriend, was the older man’s first thought.

Kim Dokja made a gasping sound when Yoo Joonghyuk climbed into bed over him. His legs were on either side of Kim Dokja’s as he sat back and pulled his shirt off, leaving his top bare. Kim Dokja’s eyes traced the lines of his arms, his clavicle, his neck, his chest, his stomach… all of them were godly. All of them were his to kiss. 

He felt so unbelievably turned on that his face was as red as it could get. He held up a hand, covering his mouth to stop himself from saying something stupid. He was so used to holding back his true thoughts around Yoo Joonghyuk.

Yoo Joonghyuk, of course, sensed this.

“What are you thinking?”

Kim Dokja willed himself to pull the hand away from his mouth to speak. “I’m thinking of how hot you are.”

“What a coincidence,” Yoo Joonghyuk mused. “I was thinking the same thing about you.”

“Whoa, where did that line come from?” Kim Dokja said. “Now that is flirting.”

“I had to prove to you I can flirt. I will not be outdone.”

“Okay, weirdo.”

Yoo Joonghyuk leaned down over Kim Dokja. He slid a hand under the older man’s shirt and braced himself with the other arm, propping himself up. Kim Dokja liked the weight of Yoo Joonghyuk on top of him. He enjoyed the way their bodies connected, warm and solid. Kim Dokja’s skin felt electric. 

“You’re not just pretty, Kim Dokja,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “You are beautiful.” 

“Ah!” Kim Dokja squeaked out, not expecting the weight of the compliment. “You don’t have to prove your ability to flirt! I believe you!”

“You’re very cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“Please stop,” Kim Dokja begged.

“No,” Yoo Joonghyuk whispered, and then he was kissing him. 

Kim Dokja didn’t know what to do at all, so for a good few seconds, he lay there while Yoo Joonghyuk’s lips pressed against his. Then, Kim Dokja’s eyes began to shut, his eyelashes fluttering as he realized how good it felt to touch someone so intimately. He liked the warmth of Yoo Joonghyujk’s breath against his cheek, tiny puffs coming out of his nose, and he liked the way his lips were soft against his own. Kim Dokja, especially, enjoyed the soothing way Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands smoothed over his stomach and pec, petting him almost like he was a cat.

Then, Yoo Joonghyuk pulled away, and Kim Dokja let out a sad sound.

Yoo Joonghyuk breathed out a small laugh. “There will be more.”

“I know.”

“Be patient,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. “Also… do you mind if I teach you?”

“Please do,” Kim Dokja said eagerly. 

Yoo Joonghyuk pointed to his lips. “Don’t purse or pucker your lips. It makes the kiss stiff. Just relax, and when I try something new, give yourself a few seconds before I let you try it on me. Okay?”

Kim Dokja said in the most serious voice he could muster, “Yes, seonsaengnim.”

“Never call me that again.”

“Ah, seonsaengnim is so cruel…” Kim Dokja lamented before yelping when Yoo Joonghyuk flicked his neck. “Fucker!”

“Shut up,” the younger man said, and then he was kissing him again. Kim Dokja’s lips stiffened at first, but then he relaxed into the kiss and let his mouth soften. He sighed, letting Yoo Joonghyuk kiss him gently before it got a tiny bit firmer and then a little more intense. When Yoo Joonghyuk bit his bottom lip, sucking it between his teeth, Kim Dokja couldn’t help but let out a small moan.

“Fuck,” he cursed when Yoo Joonghyuk pulled away just far enough so Kim Dokja could speak. “Do that again.”

“Try it on me first,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, and then his lips pressed to Kim Dokja’s before he could get another word in. He was so hurried that Kim Dokja’s head spun. It was like Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t get enough of him. Kim Dokja liked that idea.

Kim Dokja’s back arched slightly as he pushed himself into the kiss. Their breath was rough as their noses pressed against each other’s cheeks, the sound loud due to the proximity to their ears. Kim Dokja liked it. Then, he remembered his task and parted his lips slightly, letting Yoo Joonghyuk’s bottom lip sink between his. He sucked, pulling the flesh between his teeth, and nibbled. 

Yoo Joonghyuk pulled away. “The Kim Dokja I know bites harder than that,” he said before returning to the kiss.

Kim Dokja’s brow knit in determination. He leaned up further, kissing Yoo Joonghyuk and pushing him back until they were both kissing while kneeling. Then, with a hand on his chest, Kim Dokja shoved Yoo Joonghyuk onto his back and climbed on top. 

Yoo Joonghyuk’s hair fell around his face in a way that made Kim Dokja feel like he was looking at a fine painting. Then, Yoo Joonghyuk reached up and grabbed Kim Dokja’s collar, pulling him down on top of him so they could kiss again. They kissed once, twice, and thrice before Kim Dokja’s arms began to give out. Again, core strength wasn’t really his thing.

“This isn’t gonna work,” Kim Dokja grunted, sitting back on Yoo Joonghyuk’s thighs.

“Stand up real quick,” Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja listened. He watched as Yoo Joonghyuk adjusted on the bed, propping himself up against the wall, and patted his lap. Kim Dokja got the message, but he blushed regardless. 

“This feels so unreal,” Kim Dokja muttered. 

“Mhm.”

Crawling onto his lap, Kim Dokja realized this new position brought them crotch to crotch. He rocked forward, pushing their bulges together, and gasped when he felt Yoo Joonghyuk’s clothed cock against his own. While Yoo Joonghyuk sucked in a sharp breath, Kim Dokja let out a moan as he said, “Holy shit, you’re so fucking big.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands roamed underneath Kim Dokja’s sweater. “I like that you’re smaller than me.”

Kim Dokja wanted to pretend that he didn’t like it. “I bet you do. You and your giant fucking hams.”

“You love my thighs.”

“... Okay, yeah, I do.”

Tilting his head, Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a look. Kim Dokja was beginning to learn that that look meant “kiss me,” and so he did. Kim Dokja took the initiative this time, leaning down from his perch on Yoo Joonghyuk’s lap to plant one on him.

He kissed him gently at first, still learning the rhythm of such things, before he tried to bite his bottom lip again. Bringing up a hand to cup his cheek, Kim Dokja braced the other hand on Yoo Joonghyuk’s bare shoulder. He was like a human furnace, burning hot. He enjoyed this heat as he sucked on his lip, dragging it against his teeth a few times before he let Yoo Joonghyuk return the favor, their lips slotting in the way they were originally when Yoo Joonghyuk first kissed him. 

“I like it when you do it,” Kim Dokja said breathlessly when they pulled apart for a moment.

“Good,” Yoo Joonghyuk pecked him quickly. “I prefer that too.”

Kim Dokja let him take control of the next kiss. This went on for a minute before Yoo Joonghyuk’s tongue stuck out just a bit to lick the seam of the older man’s lips. Kim Dokja gasped at the slick feeling and Yoo Joonghyuk took that opportunity to reach up, grab the back of Kim Dokja’s head, and stick his tongue in his mouth. Kim Dokja let out a whimper as he tasted Yoo Joonghyuk on his tongue, the lingering flavor of beer still on it. He moaned, melting into it as he stuck his tongue a bit forward too, sliding against Yoo Joonghyuk’s.

The whole time, Kim Dokja was rutting against Yoo Joonghyuk’s cock. His hips moved unconsciously, rolling against the man like he was trying to give him a lap dance. Yoo Joonghyuk groaned, kissing Kim Dokja harder, the hand on the back of his head knitting into his hair to pull it. 

“Fuck,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. His already deep voice was deeper than usual, sending shivers down his spine. “Keep going. Just like that.”

Kim Dokja nodded. “Mhm—ah!”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand slipped down to Kim Dokja’s waist. They settled over his hips like they belonged there, hot like a branding iron. When they continued to kiss, he encouraged Kim Dokja to rock back and forth with his hands, pushing him closer and closer until their cocks were pressed together firmly. Kim Dokja broke the kiss, his head tossed back as he shook and dry-humped his boyfriend. Head rolling, he looked down at Yoo Joonghyuk and saw him watching, mesmerized. 

Kim Dokja smirked, but it had a shy and insecure edge.  “Enjoying the show?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh,” Kim Dokja groaned. “Do you not get embarrassed saying shit like that?”

“You just said—”

“I know what I said!” Kim Dokja said before lightly smacking Yoo Joonghyuk’s cheek. “Is this all we’re doing? Kissing and dry humping?”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes darkened. “Well, how much would you like to do?”

“A lot,” Kim Dokja said instead of elaborating. He eyed Yoo Joonghyuk’s neck. “Can I bite you?”

“Yes,” the younger man agreed before Kim Dokja could finish his question. He tilted his head to the side. He groaned, “I’ve had so many inconvenient boners because of you.”

Kim Dokja laughed even as he leaned down to pepper kisses up Yoo Joonghyuk’s neck. “Mhm?”

“The time you bit me like an animal,” Yoo Joonghyuk confessed, “was the first time. Then, every time you wore thin fucking clothes to bed or just your underwear when the weather got hot, fuck!” He cursed when Kim Dokja bit his shoulder, echoing the bite he’d been talking about. He continued, “At the gym, when you got out of the pool and just, your waist is…”

“Yeah?”

“It’s so small.”

“As has been established,” Kim Dokja teased. He moaned against Yoo Joonghyuk’s neck, eyes sliding shut when the man bucked his hips against him. Said hands squeezed around Kim Dokja’s thin waist. Meanwhile, Kim Dokja set out to mark Yoo Joonghyuk as if he were a painting of a red nebula. A bite here, a bite there, then nipping behind his ear… Kim Dokja left no area without at least a graze of his teeth or the press of his lips. 

Kissing up Yoo Joonghyuk’s jaw, Kim Dokja pressed his lips to the younger man’s. His lips were beginning to feel a bit chapped, but he couldn’t care less. However, he wanted to move on to other things.

“What should…?” Kim Dokja tried to ask, but his abrupt sense of embarrassment choked him.

Yoo Joonghyuk took a slow, steady breath. “Whatever you want.”

“Hyung, I—” Kim Dokja said before slapping his forehead. “I did not—I did not mean—”

Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow. “What, do you want me to pretend to be older? To tell you what to do and boss you around?”

“I, um…” Kim Dokja was at a loss for words externally, but instead, his brain was chanting: yes, yes, yes.

Yoo Joonghyuk asked with a glint in his eye, “Dokja-ya, be honest with me. What do you want?”

Kim Dokja swallowed. He tried to look Yoo Joonghyuk in the eye but he couldn’t. Instead, he looked up at the ceiling and let out a long groan. Breathing deep, he asked in a rush, “You’re into it too?”

Yoo Joonghyuk nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing when he leaned his head back against the wall. Kim Dokja looked at the marks up and down his neck and felt his heart warm up. Cock twitching in his pants, he rolled his hips forward and sighed before he said softly into the crook of Yoo Joonghyuk’s shoulder, “Guide me, hyung.”

“Good,” Yoo Joonghyuk praised the older man for his honesty. He pulled Kim Dokja down, gently prompting him to tilt his head to the side so he could get at his neck. Then, Yoo Joonghyuk gave Kim Dokja the same treatment that Kim Dokja had given him, except it was so tender compared to the older man’s virginal enthusiasm. He didn’t bite him like an animal. Instead, his lips passed over Kim Dokja’s skin like feathers. Then, he sucked small hickeys into his skin. 

But soon, Yoo Joonghyuk was groaning because of Kim Dokja’s insistent grinding. He began to bite, sucking dark marks into his skin and gripping Kim Dokja’s hair like it was a tether. The older man moaned, begging for more with half-uttered nonsense words. Kim Dokja couldn’t form a coherent thought because he was becoming more and more focused on the moment and the feeling.

Kim Dokja wanted to do more, however. He wanted to keep biting Yoo Joonghyuk, but the position didn’t let him. So, he whined and Yoo Joonghyuk said, “Use your words,” in a way that made Kim Dokja’s toes curl. 

He needed a moment before he could speak. Yoo Joonghyuk just kept kissing and biting him, which didn’t help.

“I want—” Kim Dokja swallowed. “I want to blow you. Please.”

“You’re so polite when you’re worked up. I’d have fucked you so much earlier if I knew it’d get you to behave.”

Kim Dokja scoffed at that. “You would’ve fucked me earlier no matter what, given the chance.”

Yoo Joonghyuk grunted. Kim Dokja laughed, knowing he was right.

Kissing his neck a few times before sucking a mark behind Kim Dokja’s ear, Yoo Joonghyuk finally let Kim Dokja go. His face was red.

“You can’t wait for me to blow you, hm, hyung?” Kim Dokja teased with a smirk. When Yoo Joonghyuk blushed like that, it made him feel so powerful. The push-and-pull dynamic between them was intoxicating. However, the next thing Yoo Joonghyuk said made Kim Dokja want to punch him in the face.

“You sure are confident for a virgin.”

“Oh, clam it,” Kim Dokja grumbled, settling for punching the man’s shoulder. 

Yoo Joonghyuk stroked Kim Dokja’s hair, brushing it off his face. His eyes searched his. He said, “I’ll talk you through it.”

Now, that sentence went straight to Kim Dokja’s dick. It twitched in his pants. He let out a groan, covering his face with his hands before Yoo Joonghyuk pulled them away, held them, and then kissed Kim Dokja. 

“We need to stand for this. Grab a pillow for your knees.”

“Mhm,” Kim Dokja nodded, still in a daze. He went on autopilot as he got up, grabbed a pillow from his bed, and waited for Yoo Joonghyuk to find his place. Then, he laid the pillow on the floor and kneeled on it, looking down at the floor as Yoo Joonghyuk took off his pants. He saw it out of his peripheral vision, and when he felt calm enough to look, his eyes widened. Yoo Joonghyuk’s cock was pretty fucking big, but luckily, he was more of a shower than a grower, so it wasn’t unrealistically massive. However, Kim Dokja wasn’t even sure if he could suck it. 

Yoo Joonghyuk reached down and pushed Kim Dokja’s hair out of his face again. Kim Dokja looked up at him before his eyes darted down to the cock, back up, rinse and repeat. Yoo Joonghyuk smirked. 

“That eager, Dokja-ya?”

Kim Dokja’s gaze hardened. “Bold words. What if I bite your dick off?”

“Then I’d kill you, obviously,” Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed in his deadpan tone that was just to the left of sarcastic. “Or, maybe I’d make you into a eunuch.” 

Kim Dokja chuckled. “Whatever you say, dear.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s face burst into flames. He looked up at the ceiling and Kim Dokja realized he’d stumbled into another kink of the younger man’s.

“Do you have a thing for domesticity?” Kim Dokja teased with a sly smile. 

Yoo Joonghyuk groaned. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“But—!”

The younger man didn’t give him a chance to finish his thought. He’d taken a small step closer and moved the hand in Kim Dokja’s hand to his cock, stroking it once before pressing it against Kim Dokja’s lips. Kim Dokja opened his mouth in shock, lips parting, and Yoo Joonghyuk took full advantage. He brushed the tip of his cock over Kim Dokja’s soft lips, spreading precum against them. Then, when the older man opened his mouth wide enough to lick the tip, tasting Yoo Joonghyuk, the younger man pushed forward enough to slide the tip inside. Kim Dokja realized liked the taste as his brow knitted. He looked down the intimidating shaft, breathing heavier through his nose in anticipation. 

“Open wider,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, voice deep and sure. “Don’t lock your jaw. If it’s too much, tap my thigh.”

Kim Dokja pulled off, turning his head to the side as he looked up at his boyfriend. “How do I—What do I do besides that?”

“Just focus on keeping your mouth open and your teeth away,” Yoo Joonghyuk explained. He let out a breath, swallowing as he adjusted his cock. 

“Mhm,” Kim Dokja nodded, feeling vulnerable despite being the one who was still fully clothed. He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. Yoo Joonghyuk groaned at the sight.

He said under his breath, “Dokja-ya, do you know what you do to me?”

That sentence made Kim Dokja feel more confident. He leaned forward, realizing that Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t about to start face fucking him like they were in a porno. Reaching up to grab his cock, Yoo Joonghyuk let go to make space for Kim Dokja’s hand. It was easier when he felt like he had control and the younger man was at his mercy. His confidence increased again.

Sitting up further on his knees for leverage, Kim Dokja put his mouth on his cock. It was heavy and thick on his tongue. He closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of his mouth stretching around the girth. Kim Dokja made sure his lips touched the length, but not his teeth. He bobbed his head slightly, his spit wetting Yoo Joonghyuk’s cock. He could only go a short distance before he popped off, thinking.

“Okay,” Kim Dokja said, “I think I got it.”

“You—” Yoo Joonghyuk said before he gasped, “Oh, fuck.”

Sinking a bit further down his cock, Kim Dokja took him deeper into his mouth. He pushed himself, testing the depth. Then, he went a little further, eyes slipping shut again as he realized he deeply enjoyed the feeling of sucking dick. The weight on his tongue and the groans his movements elicited from his boyfriend made his heart race, his head feeling fuzzy from the high. Kim Dokja began to bob his head slightly faster in a steady beat. Then, he remembered his hand was more than a decoration, stroking what he couldn’t reach, but it was a bit dry.

Kim Dokja pulled off with a pop before he sucked in his cheeks and spat on Yoo Joonghyuk’s cock. He smeared it up and down his shaft, leaving Yoo Joonghyuk cursing in that deep voice of his all the while.

“Why are you so good at this?” The younger man asked in a rush.

Kim Dokja spit again. The first time was not enough. He smirked.

“I’m a fast learner.”

“Apparently,” Yoo Joonghyuk grunted before his mouth dropped open when Kim Dokja resumed sucking. “Dokja-ya…”

“Mhmp,” Kim Dokja hummed around his cock. Yoo Joonghyuk cursed, his tone bordering on a growl. His hips pushed forward slightly, making Kim Dokja gag just a little, but it wasn’t enough to daunt him.

Bobbing his head in the same rhythm as before, he made sure to keep his mouth wide. Then, after pushing himself as far as he could go, he sucked hard while pulling off slowly. Yoo Joonghyuk gasped and Kim Dokja felt like he was on top of the world. He kept going, kissing the tip before bobbing and stroking a little faster.

This continued until Kim Dokja felt one of Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands in his hair.

“Yeah?” He asked after pulling off, wiping away the trail of spit that connected him to the cock.

“Don’t stop,” Yoo Joonghyuk begged. Kim Dokja didn’t need to be told twice.

He resumed sucking, trying out all the things he was curious about. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Yoo Joonghyuk groaned, the hand in Kim Dokja’s hand tightening until the older man let out a low moan. Yoo Joonghyuk was so hard on his tongue and Kim Dokja wondered if he was going to come.

Pulling off, Kim Dokja stroked the younger man while looking up at him. When Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at him, he made a face that Kim Dokja would remember for the rest of his life. He looked so fucked out already, so expressive compared to his usual self. Smirking, Kim Dokja was going to make a snide comment, but then—

Yoo Joonghyuk busted all over his face. Kim Dokja closed his eyes, letting out a gasp of surprise. He stopped stroking, a little flustered, but then Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand replaced his as he jacked off his cock until he was spent, cum covering Kim Dokja’s nose and cheek and mouth. The older man licked his lips, tasting his cum, and let out a pleased hum.

“I was hoping you’d cum down my throat, but this works too,” he joked. Yoo Joonghyuk took a deep breath before he let out a small laugh, still flustered from his sudden orgasm. Kim Dokja bit the inside of his cheek. “What does it feel like…?”

“You’re about to find out,” Yoo Joonghyuk growled, recovering shockingly quickly. He nodded towards the bed. “Sit down.”

“Why would I sit when you stood?”

“Because I have no faith that you’ll stay standing,” Yoo Joonghyuk said without a hint of mocking. Kim Dokja frowned but accepted the reasoning. He was probably right. 

Sighing, Kim Dokja got up to wipe the cum off his face in the mirror. He put a bit of water from a bottle on a tissue, and when he had a bit of difficulty, Yoo Joonghyuk came over to help by fussing over him. Kim Dokja smiled fondly.

“Nothing more romantic than scrubbing cum off your boyfriend’s face.”

Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a flat look. “Just sit down and let me blow you.”

Kim Dokja laughed. “Pushy.”

“Mhm,” Yoo Joonghyuk hummed. He watched as Kim Dokja stripped off his pants and briefs, exposing his hard cock beneath his sweater. The older man bit his lip, looking away at a wall as if it was super interesting. He ran a hand up his stomach, clearly nervous, then sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his arms.

“Spread your thighs,” Yoo Joonghyuk commanded. Kim Dokja spread them, a little hesitant at first. He looked up at the ceiling when Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed the pillow and settled between his legs. 

“Look at me,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, “Dokja-ya.”

“That’s gonna take a while to get used to,” Kim Dokja whimpered, voice high and strained. 

Yoo Joonghyuk laughed at him. “Just in the bedroom—unless you want to get shamed in public.”

“Yeah, no, just the bedroom, please.”

The younger man spread Kim Dokja’s thighs further apart with his large hands. Yoo Joonghyuk pushed them open, exposing Kim Dokja’s dripping cock. It twitched as the older man watched his boyfriend’s reaction: dark, dilated eyes combined with a slightly open mouth like he couldn’t wait to take Kim Dokja apart. He squirmed a little and Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands squeezed, making him accept the vulnerable position. 

Kim Dokja sighed, airy and high. He bit his lip and said in a huff, “Stop staring.”

“I’ll look all I want,” Yoo Joonghyuk responded. “I’m allowed to, now.”

“Yeah, well…” Kim Dokja closed his eyes. His breathing quickened as Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands rubbed up and down his thighs, a little calloused from all his working out and martial arts practice. Kim Dokja did his best to relax, telling himself this was exactly what he wanted, and that he was finally getting it. There was no need to be so shy when Yoo Joonghyuk showed so much outright interest. He repeated this to himself until his breathing leveled.

“Better?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked in a soft tone. Kim Dokja nodded.

“The duality of man,” Kim Dokja muttered.

Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Nothing,” Kim Dokja said, punctuated with a little laugh. “I never knew you could be so gentle.”

“Well, I’m not about to make your first time a showcase in BDSM.”

Laughing harder, Kim Dokja said, “Oh? That’s so sad. I was hoping I could whip you and call you a whore.”

Yoo Joonghyuk blinked, ears a little red. “Huh?”

“I read a surprising amount of 18+ manhwa.”

“I don’t know what I expected, but that tracks,” Yoo Joonghyuk muttered.

Kim Dokja shrugged. He leaned back a little on one arm, lifted his sweater by reaching under it, and tweaked one of his nipples between his fingers. Letting out a small whimper, he arched his stomach towards Yoo Joonghyuk unconsciously from the stimulation. Kim Dokja was getting bored of waiting.

Yoo Joonghyuk got the message. He kissed up Kim Dokja’s thighs, biting marks near the crease of his groin. Then, he moved his left hand to stroke Kim Dokja’s dick while he kissed his right thigh. Marking his skin with red blooms, Yoo Joonghyuk looked like he was in his element. The older man realized he liked to pleasure people because so far through this evening, Yoo Joonghyuk seemed to take great satisfaction in guiding Kim Dokja deeper into depravity.

But, he also loved to cook for him, teach him how to use gym equipment, and help Kim Dokja with assorted tasks; he generally watched out for him. “Acts of service,” Kim Dokja believed that was called. He wondered if that went hand in hand with a praise kink. 

“Mmm,” Kim Dokja sighed, panting as his cock got harder and harder in Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand. He was glad he practiced edging regularly, or else he probably would’ve come, already. “You’re doing so well.”

Yoo Joonghyuk bit his thigh hard. Kim Dokja’s thighs clenched around his head as he cried out, a mix of pain and pleasure washing over him. He whimpered, looking down at Yoo Joonghyuk and his dark eyes. 

“Fuck me,” Kim Dokja groaned. Yoo Joonghyuk’s grip tightened around his dick. “Oh, shit.”

Kim Dokja slapped a hand over his mouth when he let out a loud moan. He cried a little, eyes watering as he realized how hard it would be to hold back his sounds.

“Don’t muffle yourself,” Yoo Joonghyuk commanded. Kim Dokja’s brow knit. He wanted to argue, but it was too hot and stifling trying to breathe around his hand, so he let it fall back to the sheets. The next time he moaned, he reminded himself to keep it down.

It didn’t work. Yoo Joonghyuk wrenched moan after moan from Kim Dokja, and when he finally took the older man’s dick in his mouth, Kim Dokja’s thighs clenched around him as he let out a deep groan.

“Fuck, you’re so good to me…” He said, his sentence ending in a whimper. “Please. Please. I’m gonna come.”

Yoo Joonghyuk pulled off and Kim Dokja let out a cry of disappointment. 

“Joonghyuk—!”

“I’m turning you over,” the younger man declared, and then Kim Dokja found himself being flipped like a pancake. He flipped Kim Dokja over roughly, moving him like he was nothing. Then, he spread his ass cheeks and made sure his cock hung off the side of the bed with a few inches of clearance so it wouldn’t chafe against the sheets. The older man cried out when he felt a hot tongue lick his hole, a hand coming up to stroke him as he ate him out. 

“Joonghyuk-hyung,” Kim Dokja gasped. The honorific rolled off his tongue far too naturally. It felt obscene, considering they’d barely called each other with the proper honorifics prior. 

The younger man groaned against him like Kim Dokja’s words were equivalent to physical stimulation.

He really, really liked that whole age reversal thing, huh…

Stroking Kim Dokja to a steady rhythm, occasionally twisting around the head, Kim Dokja found himself drooling against the sheets. He gripped the fabric, and in his struggle not to squirm, reached back and pulled Yoo Joonghyuk’s hair. The man let out a deep growl but did not stop, instead prodding his hole with the tip of his tongue. This went on for a few more minutes, Kim Dokja whining the whole way through while praising the younger man eagerly, his hand slipping out of his hair.

Then, Yoo Joonghyuk stopped. He reached over to his bedside stand and pulled out the drawer, grabbing something. When Kim Dokja heard a cap pop, he knew it was a bottle of lube. Yoo Joonghyuk squeezed some out, warmed it for a few seconds, and then began prodding Kim Dokja’s hole with a single finger.

“Tell me to stop, and I will,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. Kim Dokja nodded quickly.

“Please,” he begged. “Keep going. If you don’t fuck me tonight, I will cry, and it will not be pretty.”

“You are pretty, even when you cry.”

“Thats—ohhhhh.” Kim Dokja moaned when the finger slid inside. “Oh, fuck…”

“Good boy,” Yoo Joonghyuk praised. “You do this to yourself, don’t you?”

“Mhm,” Kim Dokja admitted. “Sometimes.”

Yoo Joonghyuk let out a pleased sound. “You’re meant to take my cock.”

Kim Dokja buried his face in the sheets. He wasn’t used to dirty talk whatsoever. He was able to blurt out praise himself, but when Yoo Joonghyuk said such filthy things, it made Kim Dokja shiver. 

“Please,” Kim Dokja begged into the sheets, too ashamed to articulate. “I want it, hyung.”

“It’s all yours,” Yoo Joonghyuk promised. “You’ll need to take three, first.”

“M’kay,” Kim Dokja hiccuped. He hadn’t realized tears were falling from his eyes. He was so turned on, his body couldn’t help but be overwhelmed. Ironically, crying made him feel even higher. 

Yoo Joonghyuk’s long finger slipped in up to the knuckle. He thrust it in and out, the thickness of his finger still small enough to be painless. He clearly knew what he was doing, Kim Dokja realized and wondered if the younger man had fucked another guy before or if he knew how to finger because he did it to himself. That was a question for later, though. 

Other hand pumping Kim Dokja’s cock, the bottom barely realized it when another finger slipped in. The wet sounds were so lewd from the excess of lube that it was the second most predominant stimulus in his mind, besides the feeling of Yoo Joonghyuk inside him. Kim Dokja only fully realized the second finger was inside him when Yoo Joonghyuk spread them apart and stretched his rim.

“Oh my God,” Kim Dokja groaned. One of his fists beat against the sheet. “Why are you so good at this?”

Somehow, he knew Yoo Joonghyuk was smirking and shrugging as if he didn’t know. Kim Dokja let out a breathy laugh that turned into a long, wanton moan as the thrusting continued, deeper and faster. Yoo Joonghyuk was crooking his fingers in a way that pressed against Kim Dokja’s prostate, making his cock jump while it was stroked by the other hand.

“Hnggg,” Kim Dokja whimpered. “Oh, shit. Fucking hell! Hyung, you—if you don’t…”

“What?”

“I’m, ahh, gonna—!” Kim Dokja let out a moan that danced across multiple pitches, “—‘m gonna come.”

“Can you come twice?”

“What?” Kim Dokja asked, incredulous. “M-maybe, but…”

“You can do it,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, convincing Kim Dokja. “We’ll take a break, and then I’ll fuck you through the bed, and you’ll be ruined for anyone else, hm? You won’t be able to get it up for anyone but me. I’ll take you apart and put you back together piece by piece. You’re meant for my cock; You’re the only one I’ll accept. Dokja-ya, do you like that idea?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes—ah!” Kim Dokja cried out as Yoo Joonghyuk’s fingers abused his prostate with quick touches that were neither too rough nor too soft. “Please, h-hyung. I want—oh, fuck—I want that so b-badly, please, hng—!”

“Come for me, Dokja.”

Kim Dokja came, and Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t stop. His fingers slowed down, sure, but they pressed against his prostate over and over ruthlessly until Kim Dokja started squirming, unsure if he wanted to crawl away or push back against them. Yoo Joonghyuk milked him through it with a fist around his dick, Kim Dokja’s cum making a small puddle on the floor. They’d have to clean that up later, but for now, Kim Dokja couldn’t give a single fuck. 

#

After cleaning up from the first round, they talked while lying in Dokja’s bed about their misunderstandings. Kim Dokja apologized for causing Yoo Joonghyuk pain, and the younger man forgave him with ease. Yoo Joonghyuk followed that up with his own apology for not taking the initiative, either. Of course, that made Kim Dokja cry some more. 

“Don’t feel bad,” Yoo Joonghyuk said softly, stroking Kim Dokja’s cheek while he looked into his dark eyes. Kim Dokja sniffled, brushing away the tears with the back of his hand.

“I’ve cried more this week than I have since…” Kim Dokja laughed, “… I don’t even know when.”

Yoo Joonghyuk hummed. “I haven’t cried in a long time. Not since I was a kid.”

“That’s an odd flex,” Kim Dokja joked before sighing. “Sorry. I’m just—I have a lot of shit flying around in my brain. It’s a typhoon in here,” he said, tapping his head. 

“I know,” Yoo Joonghyuk said. He raised an eyebrow. “I know you wouldn’t judge me if I needed to cry.”

Kim Dokja’s throat felt like it was closing. He said hoarsely, “Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Well,” Kim Dokja said, “you’d be right.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s arms tightened around him, squeezing Kim Dokja briefly. He sighed.

“I enjoy holding you.”

“I bet you do.” Kim Dokja huffed out a laugh. “You possessive mother fucker.” 

“You like that about me.”

It was Kim Dokja’s turn to hum. 

“Mhm.” He did so in a bright tone.

They fell asleep after lapsing into silence. When Kim Dokja awoke an hour later, it was to Yoo Joonghyuk’s thigh between his legs. The man was half on top of Kim Dokja like a massive weighted blanket. Kim Dokja moaned softly, getting hard from the friction. Like a bloodhound, Yoo Joonghyuk opened his eyes the second he sensed his arousal.

“Ready for round two?” He asked, voice husky from their nap. 

Kim Dokja didn’t answer with words. Instead, he nodded and pulled Yoo Joonghyuk in for a kiss. They made out for a few minutes, getting handsy with each other, and eventually, Kim Dokja’s sweater finally came off. Yoo Joonghyuk bit up his chest, sucking and biting on his nipples, and then Dokja got on top of him to return the favor. He liked how Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t the stereotype of a top—he let Kim Dokja play with him too; he showed vulnerability. 

“I love you,” Kim Dokja said when he came up to kiss him again. “God, it’s embarrassing to say that. How do people say it so easily?”

“You’ll get used to it,” Yoo Joonghyuk said with absolute sureness. “I love you too.”

“That’s so mushy. This is disgusting.”

“Just shut the fuck up and let me—“ Yoo Joonghyuk grunted as he, for the third time that day, tossed Kim Dokja like a pancake. On his stomach with a pillow under his hips, Kim Dokja realized the fucking had finally arrived. He was going to get “fucked through the bed,” or so he hoped. 

Fingering Kim Dokja was easier the second time around, his hole already loosened from the previous round. It took less time, and soon enough, Yoo Joonghyuk was lining up to slide his cock inside Kim Dokja where it belonged.

“Ready?”

Kim Dokja nodded, “Slow.”

“Of course,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, “I’m not a monster.”

“Oh?” Kim Dokja laughed, “You sure? You said some pretty intense stuff earlier.”

“We’ll work up to that.”

“Good,” Kim Dokja sighed, wiggling his ass back and forth. Yoo Joonghyuk slapped one of his cheeks just enough to give a slight sting. “I don’t want to be able to walk tomorrow.”

“Just remember: you asked for it.”

Kim Dokja had a retort lied up, but the thought dissipated when Yoo Joonghyuk slid the head of his cock over his hole, the tip catching on it with each pass. He whimpered, close to begging for it, when Yoo Joonghyuk slid inside with a pop. It was shockingly thick—thicker than anything Kim Dokja had inside him before.

“Oh, fuck…” he sighed. Yoo Joonghyuk chuckled. 

“Tell me if it hurts,” he asked Kim Dokja. The older man nodded. 

“Don’t worry, I will.”

Then, without a preamble, Yoo Joonghyuk began to fuck him slowly. He slid in and out, the lube easing the way. Kim Dokja felt like his insides were hot, the warm length spearing him deep inside, but in the most pleasant way. He got used to the feeling over time, the remnants of uncomfortableness disappearing faster with each press inside. 

Sliding to the base, Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk groaned. Neither of them had any more words; they simply enjoyed the sounds of the slick, carnal pleasure shared between them. Then, Yoo Joonghyuk fucked him at a slow to medium pace, just enough to get Kim Dokja’s cock back to hardness. 

“Ahh…” Kim Dokja sighed, arching his back. Yoo Joonghyuk laid over him, pressing his front to Kim Dokja, as he fucked him with short but fast thrusts in an uneven tempo. “Oh, God.”

“You feel so fucking good,” Yoo Joonghyuk muttered in his ear. Kim Dokja bit his lip.

Eventually, the rhythm sped up. Yoo Joonghyuk pounded into him, fucking Kim a Dokja through the mattress just like he promised. Then, he flipped him, bending Kim Dokja’s legs back into a mating press. Their eye contact was heavy, and Kim Dokja nodded when Yoo Joonghyuk groaned like he was about to come.

“Inside,” he said, and that was enough for Yoo Joonghyuk to spill within. 

Pulling out after filling Kim Dokja up, Yoo Joonghyuk sucked the older man off until he begged for him to stop the overstimulation. He pulled off with a satisfied smirk.

“Think you can go again later?”

“You lied.” Kim Dokja lamented, tossing his head back with a cry. “You’re a monster!”

JANUARY to FEBRUARY - Winter Break &  Winter Commencement

When Kim Dokja graduated, Yoo Joonghyuk was there, watching. His eyes followed his boyfriend across the stage. At that moment, he felt so unbelievably proud of Kim Dokja, because he knew how hard he’d worked for so long. All his late nights studying, all his struggles, and all his internal battles culminated in a degree… and a relationship. Now, most would believe this to be pure chance, but Yoo Joonghyuk?

He was sure it was fate. After all, no one was a match for him except Kim Dokja.

Finding him after the ceremony was over, Yoo Joonghyuk kissed him soft and slow. He let people watch but glared at anyone who looked too long. Then, when he pulled away, he looked down at his boyfriend and smiled. 

“Do you want to move in with me?” He asked.

Kim Dokja’s eyes widened. “Whoa.”

Yoo Joonghyuk felt a brief flash of horror as he realized he might have moved too fast, too soon. Kim Dokja waved his hands around.

“No, no!” He said. “I mean, yes, what are you kidding, but! Whoa. Oh, holy shit. Yes, I’d like that. A lot.”

“Good,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, a little breathless. “I just realized you haven’t met my sister yet.”

“That’s okay, I’m good with kids.”

Yoo Joonghyuk sighed. “Of course, you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kim Dokja asked, frowning.

“It’s a compliment,” Yoo Joonghyuk clarified. “Just another thing I like about you.”

Kim Dokja’s face slowly turned pink. “Ah.”

The younger man laughed. People around them gave him freaked-out stares. It wasn’t every day a man famous for being stoic and cold laughed like the emotion of joy personified. Kim Dokja gave him a look.

“You probably scare children for fun.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s laugh ceased. He scoffed. “Kids love me.”

“Yoo Mia loves you,” Kim Dokja said. “To others, you look like the goddamn grim reaper, but more handsome. Just as scary, though.”

“Complimenting and insulting me in the same breath. You have a talented tongue, Dokja-ya.”

A student near them choked on a mouthful of water. She coughed violently.

Kim Dokja only had one thing to say to that.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Joonghyuk-ah.”