Chapter Text
Regulus Black prided himself on many things—his impeccable taste, his cunning intelligence, and his ability to keep himself composed in any situation. What he did not pride himself on, however, was his ability to cook.
In his defense, growing up in Grimmauld Place, cooking had been beneath him. Meals simply appeared on the table, courtesy of the army of maids and butlers his family hired. Growing up Regulus knew that his destiny was to grow up to marry a man of his mother’s choosing and continue the bloodline. Regulus often followed his parents wishes, and knew that he would try to until his dying breath. However, when he looked in the mirror and didn’t see a girl, but a boy; Regulus knew he had to flee from this life. Luckily, his idiot brother had left when Regulus was fourteen, so he knew he had a means to an out. However, Regulus was much smarter than his brother and waited until he could simply collect his inheritance and run. However, thinking of day to day survival was not number one on his list of priorities.
Luckily, he wasn’t alone.
His flatmates and best friends, Barty Crouch Jr. and Evan Rosier, were equally hopeless in the kitchen. It was an unspoken rule that takeout was the solution to all problems. But tonight, with Barty and Evan out on one of their nauseatingly cute dates, Regulus found himself hungry and alone. Although technically swimming in money, Regulus used the business knowledge imparted on him by his father and dumped his money in savings accounts and stocks. By day, he was an broke collage student studying organic chemistry. So, Regulus knew that ordering take out for the sixth time this week (it was still Wednesday) wasn’t the best idea.
The frozen pizza in the freezer seemed like a reasonable solution.
What wasn’t reasonable, as it turned out, was Regulus’s assumption that he could simply toss the pizza into the oven without checking the instructions—or removing the plastic film.
The first sign of trouble was the acrid smell of burning plastic.
The second was the smoke curling ominously from the oven door.
The third was the fire alarm screaming like a banshee.
Regulus panicked. His first instinct was to throw water at the problem, but a frantic call to Sirius put an end to that.
“Do not throw water on an electrical fire, you idiot!” Sirius barked over the phone. “Get out of the flat and call 999.”
“I don’t even know if it’s electrical!” Regulus snapped, though he was already grabbing his phone. “It’s just a stupid frozen pizza!”
“Then it’s a grease fire! Just—call the bloody fire department!”
Regulus hung up with a huff, dialing the emergency number with trembling fingers.
It felt like an eternity before the fire engine pulled up outside the flat. Regulus, who had retreated to the sidewalk in his black booty-shorts and oversized sweatshirt (courtesy of Sirius), watched in horror as a team of firefighters stormed into the building. Regulus tried looking for his brother, but he was nowhere to be found.
One of them—a man who looked like he’d walked straight off the cover of a fitness magazine—approached him.
“Are you the one who called?” the firefighter asked, his voice deep and steady.
Regulus nodded, suddenly hyperaware of his disheveled appearance and short stature.
“I’m James,” the firefighter said, crouching slightly to meet his gaze. “What’s your name, doll?”
Regulus flushed at the nickname, his ears burning.“Regulus.”
Maybe he was friends with Sirius, Regulus didn’t quite remember the name of Sirius’ best friend, Jimmy? Jhon? Regulus wasn’t sure. When Sirius ran away when Regulus, Walburga and Orion had made it so that Regulus couldn’t even touch the outside world without their presence, Regulus didn’t get the chance to do the ample research about his brothers adoptive family. He knows Sirius constantly asks him to come meet them, but Regulus is to scared to.
“Alright, Regulus,” James said with a reassuring smile. “We’ll take care of everything. You just stay right here, okay?”
Regulus nodded again, unable to tear his eyes away from James’s broad shoulders and sun-kissed skin.
The fire turned out to be minor—easily handled with an extinguisher. The flat was left with nothing more than a lingering smell of smoke and a ruined oven.
“You’re lucky,” James said, returning to Regulus after the situation was under control. “No major damage. Just a little cleanup needed.”
Regulus exhaled in relief. “Thank you. Really.”
James grinned, his white teeth almost blinding. “Just doing my job, doll.”
Before Regulus could respond, James bent down and scooped him up.
“What are you doing?!” Regulus yelped, flailing.
“Carrying you out,” James said simply, his grip firm and unyielding. “Protocol.”
“Protocol my arse,” Regulus muttered, though his face was so red it could rival the fire engine parked outside.
✪✪✪
Sluts + Pandora GC
RABbit <10:32>
so
i may have started a minor fire in the flat
Rosie <10:34>
WHAT
ARE YOU OKAY
EMMI V <10:34>
thats such classic reg behavior omg
rich bitches amiright
RABbit <10:35>
Em
you ARE a rich bitch
anywho
the point is
firefighters are HOT
and theres one in particular
Cassie <10:38>
WHORE ALERT
Bee <10:38>
Regulus do you think me you, ur sexy firefighter, and evan could pull off a fourway?
EMMI V <10:39>
hey!
why wasn’t I invited?
Bee <10:41>
wrong parts love
EMMI V <10:42>
BUT THAT MAKES NO SENSE
REGULUS? HES INVITED
Rosie <10:43>
its the thought that counts
Bee <10:44>
REGULUS!!!
are you gonna bang the firefighter
RABbit <10:45>
its to early to know
but i lowk wanna
Panda <3 <10:45>
none of you guys will ever live that gc name down
✪✪✪
The next day, Regulus found himself outside the fire station.
It had nothing to do with James. Of course not.
You see, Regulus just had to return the jumper he was wearing yesterday back to Sirius. Regulus now deemed that sweater ‘bad luck’.
It was about Sirius
Except it wasn’t.
Regulus knew this deep inside, and dressed for the occasion. Regulus’ friends call him a slut- he wasn’t, his only boyfriend being the his friends call, “He Who Must Not Be Named”, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle. He was wearing black leather microshorts, sheer star pattered tights, and a grey cashmere sweater. Was it all to catch James’ attention? …No of course not.
“Totally not here to see him,” Regulus muttered to himself, adjusting the off the shoulder neckline that he’d absolutely not picked out specifically to impress a certain firefighter. His outfit might’ve been overkill, but he looked good. That was reason enough.
Regulus stood outside, clutching the strap of his bag and staring at the building like it might bite him. He could hear Sirius’s voice in his head, laughing his arse off. This is pathetic, Black. Pull yourself together.
Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door.
The moment he stepped inside, he spotted Sirius lounging by the trucks, laughing at something another firefighter said. His brother’s grin widened when he caught sight of Regulus.
“Regulus!” he called, crossing the room in long strides. His uniform fit him too well, and Regulus cursed the way his knees felt like they might give out. “What a surprise. Here to see me?”
“I was in the area,” Regulus lied smoothly, ignoring the way his heart skipped when he spotted James by the back wall, rolling up the sleeves of his uniform. Oh, for Merlin’s sake.
“Uh-huh.” Sirius’s eyes glinted with mischief. “You’ve never been in the area of a fire station in your life.”
Before Regulus could respond, James turned, and his face lit up like Christmas morning.
“Regulus!” he called, crossing the room in long strides. His uniform fit him too well, and Regulus cursed the way his knees felt like they might give out. “What a surprise. Here to see me?”
Sirius barked out a laugh. “Yeah, Regulus, here to see him?”
“I just wanted to… see you,” Regulus said to Sirius, his voice trailing off as his eyes lingered on James’ exposed arms.
“Uh-huh,” Sirius said, smirking. “Or maybe you’re here to see James?”
Regulus froze, his cheeks heating. “What are you talking about?”
Regulus glared at him but didn’t deny it.
Regulus cleared his throat, forcing himself to look James in the eye. “I, um, wanted to say thank you. For last night.”
James grinned, wiping his hands on a towel. “You already thanked me.”
“Well, I wanted to thank you again,” Regulus said, fidgeting. “And… I was wondering if I could have your number?”
James’s grin widened. “Thought you’d never ask.”
Regulus’s heart skipped a beat as James handed him his phone.
✪✪✪
The pair quickly got to talking about anything and everything. It was a nice change of pace from Tom, and it put Regulus at a suspicious ease. First it started with James wishing Regulus a good morning every day at exactly 5:30, and Regulus not seeing the message until hours later. Then, it transitioned to texting about their shared interests. To Regulus’ surprise, James and him didn’t share much in common, but Regulus loved the way that James would listen to Regulus ramble about chemical compounds. In return, Regulus researched a ton about the European Soccer League for James and the pair gushed about which players they found hot together. Soon, the jokes about Regulus setting fire to the flat really got to him, and he begrudgingly asked James to teach him how to cook. Which lead to nearly nightly facetime calls of James giving Regulus step by step instructions and Regulus nearly fucking all of them up.
It was one of those nights where Regulus and James were texting, and Regulus was trying to clean out his closet, attempting to make a donate pile but ended up keeping almost all of his clothes.
babydoll <9:46>
okay so
we decided that I only need six different jumpers right
the navy, grey, my christmas one, my two fall jumpers, and my dark green one?
jamie <9:46>
yes!!
babydoll <9:47>
okay but like
that means i need to donate the black cropped one
and the lavender one
and i feel like those are really good jumpers that I should keep
jamie < 9:48>
right
but doll, have you even worn those two jumpers in the past six months?
babydoll <9:48>
…
no
but like… i could
there might be a really specific scenario where I need to wear a black cropped jumper but then i dont have one because i ended up donating it
jamie <9:49>
baby…
babydoll <9:50>
:(
okay fine
so i’ll keep all of the jumpers
but!! instead i’ll give away my collection of oversized t-shirts
i have to many of those
jamie <9:51>
perfect doll
babydoll <9:53>
jamieeee
i got an outfit for you
jamie <9:54>
yea?
lemme see it then
babydoll <9:55>
The outfit was quite simple, but Regulus knew that the photo would make James go absolutely wild. In it, he was wearing a lacy and sheer mint green baby doll dress with matching lacy panties to wear underneath. The color made his alabaster skin glow, highlighting the paleness of his skin without washing him out. Regulus looked sexy. Regulus felt sexy. He was on his knees in front of his full length mirror, holding the phone over his face in the picture.
jamie <9:57>
oh fuck doll
you’re gorgeous
absolutely stunning
you wanna see what you gave me
babydoll <9:58>
oh
yes
jamie <9:58>
see what you do to me doll?
incoming call from babydoll…>
“Hi baby, how are you feeling?”
James’ deep and comforting voice paired with the absolute insane situation Regulus was in drove him wild.
“Jamie…”, Regulus whined already feeling desperate, “ I’m absolutely fucking soaked right now.”
“Perfect. You’re perfect. Alright listen to me okay? You can’t do anything without my permission… to be sure to ask me before doing anything,” James commanded, “We don’t want you to be a naughty boy now do we?”
Regulus’ heart is nearly beating out of his chest, so loud he’s sure James could hear over the phone. He feels exhilarated, fully under James’ attention, wanting, begging, aching for more.
“Ugh, Baby you don’t know what you’re doing to me right now.” James whispered, “God if you were here with me right now i’d finger you open so slowly that you forget your own name.”
Regulus slowly slipped a finger past the waistband on his panties…feeling the wetness of his aching pussy. Spreading his fat lips open and rubbing small circles on his clit. James’ voice coursed through his veins,adding to his arousal dripping all over his bedsheets.
“Gonna make you call out my name— gonna make you beg for me doll.” James rasped.
“James James James, Jamie please.” Regulus begged. His fingers finally, finally slipping into his waiting hole, as he slowly began to thrust in an out. But his fingers were too small to make himself feel good. He needed something, someone bigger.
He needed, “James!” he cried out, the obscene squelching of his cunt filling the air. He was certain James could hear it on the other side. Regulus was making an absolute mess of the bed and the coil in the bottom his stomach wound up tighter and tighter.
“Oh you greedy thing, yeah? I’m right here baby. Wish i was with you so I could grab onto that slutty waist of yours and taste that perfect little cunt. I’m sure it’s just dripping right now.” James murmured.
Frantically humping his mattress, thinking about James’ dirty words, and his own fingers in his soaking pussy were all getting to Regulus as he felt himself brush the edge.
“Jamie Jamie, please, please I’m close can I please- Oh Jamie, Fuck i’m close,” Regulus sobbed, begging for permission.
“Y-yeah Baby? Me too, we can cum together,”
The second James’ voice touches Regulus’ ears, granting him permission, the spring in his abdomen that was growing tighter and tighter released, making Regulus see all white. It was exhilarating.
Chess still heaving from the intensity of the orgasm, Regulus opens his eyes to the mess on the bed that he made. Quickly taking a photo and sending it to James, Regulus could hear his breathless laugh from the other end of the phone.
“Regulus, you’re perfect, you know that?”
Regulus didn’t respond, but he knew that James knew that he was there, listening to the sound of his heavy breathing and light whimpers.
“James, that was amazing.” Regulus giggled a little at the absurdity of it all, “You’re amazing,”
“Yeah baby I know, with you begging so prettily in my ear, how couldn’t I know?” James chuckled.
“… Shut up James”
“Whatever you say babydoll”