Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The warm glow from the sun beams down onto Tokyo: A crisp breeze parting the wave of the heat. Hajime steps out onto the pavement, strolling towards the local outdoor market. He dons a baseball cap and t-shirt– an exceptionally casual outfit that he would almost never be seen in otherwise– to avoid causing a scene with his presence. 

Everyone knows about the Iwaizumi family; The CEO, millionaire family of one of the biggest tech companies in the country. Hajime's whole life has always been centered around one thing, and one thing only. The business empire. From a very early age, his father had always repeated to him: “Remember Hajime, this business is our legacy.” –"It's all for our future.” – “One day this will all be yours Hajime.”  And it will be. Hajime can't wait for that day. One day, he will be taking over the company in his father's honor and will become the new CEO. He can't wait for that. He can't wait to make his parents proud. 

But for now, he will stick to attending endless business meetings and sneaking away to go to the market every once and a while. He often has to leave said business meetings early to even be able to go, but he doesn't really care. It's the only time he really has to himself anyway. What's an hour and a half to his whole life for the company? They can spare him that time. 

As he approaches the market, the sights, sounds, and smells begin to fill his senses. Children laugh and run through the streets, holding bags of candies and sugary goods. Vendors chat amongst themselves and to the customers that come up to their stalls. A sense of calm washes over him. Hajime walks through the crowd for a while, before abruptly stopping when he hears a beautiful, gentle, melodic tune. He whips around, wondering where it is coming from. It only takes him a minute or two to find the source of the sound. Sitting on a wooden chair, is a tall looking, brunette man with striking features. He sits with a guitar in his lap, his eyes closed. His fingers delicately caress the strings of the guitar as he sings in a soft tone. If it wasn't for the microphone and open guitar case for tips, he might've believed that he was performing just for himself. Hajime has never seen anything like it; Someone so relaxed and carefree in one of the most bustling cities on earth. 

A small crowd has started to form around the man, making Hajime back up slightly. However, his eyes stay focused on the man's face. His eyes won't let him look away and he doesn't know why. It's just some random, probably penniless musician on the street after all. Why should he care? He forces his feet to turn and leave, but then hears a sudden burst of applause. Hajime turns around to see the musician thanking the small crowd and starting to pack his things. Many people hold out cash for the man, who takes it gratefully and smiles at everyone like he's just won the lottery. He doesn't know why, but something about the sight is endearing. Watching this stranger interacting with the young children and parents, and anyone who stayed to listen to his music–it creates a strange sensation in Hajime's chest. So, against what his brain tells him he should do, his heart forces his feet over to the musician; His hand flying into his pocket for his wallet. 

When he reaches him, he extends his hand out to him, a wad of cash in his hand. The man looks up at him with the biggest brown eyes he's ever seen. He clears his throat and mumbles, “I really enjoyed your set.” 

The brunette smiles at him and takes it happily, “Why thank you!” He quickly glances down at the money and gasps when he sees the amount. “My god, you really didn't have to do this. I-I can't accept this.” 

Hajime shakes his head, “Keep it.” 

Big brown eyes blink at him like a deer in headlights. “Wow,” he says in awe, “Thank you so much.” 

He nods and looks around, not knowing what to do next in this interaction. “So,” he says, “are you new around here? I haven't seen you before.” 

The man in front of him shrugs, “Depends on your definition of new. New to this particular market? Yes. Only been here maybe three times so far. But, I've been here in Tokyo for almost a year now.” He raises an eyebrow at Hajime, “You?” 

Hajime scoffs and shakes his head, “No. Grew up here. Been here my whole life.” 

Surprised by the sheer sort of prejudice about tokyo, the man laughs and says, “Okay then Mr. Tokyo expert,”

He rolls his eyes, “Not my name.” 

Silence lingers between them for a second or two. A small smirk pulls on the corners of the brunette's lips, “Well if that isn't it, what is your name?” 

Damn it. He shot himself in the foot with that one. So much for being anonymous when he goes out. He sighs and holds out his hand for a handshake, “Iwaizumi Hajime.” 

To his surprise, the man doesn't even flinch. Normally he can pick up on even a small reaction to his name; A gasp or the widening of eyes, but this guy? Nothing. Instead, he casually shakes his hand and nods. “Pleasure to meet you.” 

When Hajime doesn't get a name back, he asks, “And you are?” 

The man gives him a quick once over, (which makes Hajime's chest feel tight for some reason) and smirks, “I don't really do names on the first meeting.” 

Oh this bastard. 

“I just gave you mine.” 

Brown eyes stare directly into his as he continues, “That's what makes this more fun. Maybe if you come see me again sometime we can get on a name basis.” 

He looks at the man in shock. Who the hell does this guy think he is? Hajime begins to open his mouth to say something when all of a sudden he is cut off.

“I'll be coming here every Wednesday at two pm.” 

“Wait- I” 

But the man gets up, his stuff fully packed. “Can't wait to see you there.” Then, he has the audacity to wink at him and saunter away from him and into the crowd. 

Hajime quickly makes his way out of the market, his face feeling exponentially hotter than before. 

-

Hajime is stretched out on his bed, his hands behind his head and his eyes focused on the ceiling. He sighs and leans back into the pillows. The image of the handsome stranger has flooded his mind ever since meeting him a couple of days ago. The interaction leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Afterall, who the hell did that guy think he was? No one has ever given him , of all people, an attitude and cockiness. Maybe he didn't understand who he was. It was the only possible scenario. 

But other parts of that conversation make him feel confused. The weird tightness in his chest, not only caused by his frustration. The weird, warm, fuzzy feeling he had when those brown doe eyes landed on him. That wink. God, his fucking wink. What the hell has this random musician off the street done to him?

-

Wednesday arrives faster than he thought it would. Hajime tries to ignore that feeling of anticipation and curiosity as he sits with his parents and their employees in the meeting room that morning. They are currently doing a run down of the plans they have for the upcoming tech launch in the new year as a way to get the whole team on board. However, Hajime has a really hard time listening to them when his heart is beating a million miles an hour, and his brain is fighting with himself about what he should do. He knows that he should be listening in on this and taking notes, not running off to the market so he can socialize with a lower class musician. It would be frowned upon. His parents would disapprove. He can't go. 

He sits there glumly, watching the clock get closer and closer to two o'clock. Hajime fidgets in his seat, debating whether or not to leave. Finally, when his father declares a quick break, he excuses himself by saying that he's meeting with someone for business. Not the truth at all but hey, a little white lie never hurt anyone. Also as much as he hates to admit it, something about that man…intrigues him, and his heart wants to know more. He can't quite put his finger on it, but he seems magnetic despite the underlying cocky attitude. Something about him pulls Hajime in. It's irritating. 

He arrives at the market, walking briskly past all the stalls and vendors to try to find the man he spoke to last week. However, after scanning around for him for almost 10 whole minutes, he starts to feel like maybe this was a prank. Angrily he stuffs his hands in his pockets and turns around to leave, when he spots him. He's standing up by the microphone this time, his eyes closed again while he sings what Hajime assumes to be his original works. The man's brown hair sits in front of his eyes slightly; A wide smile on his face. Hajime makes his way over to him, standing off to the side to watch. He thinks that he won't notice he's there, but before he knows it, brown eyes find his. He sees the other's eyes widen slightly at the sight of him, but he doesn't know whether it's out of happiness or shock that he came. 

After he is finished with his songs, Hajime walks up to the man. The musician smirks, “Just had to come back for more, didn't you?” 

Hajime rolls his eyes, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach. “You never gave me your name. It seemed unfair.” 

A laugh spills out from the man, “Fine, fine. You earned it I guess.”

He raises an eyebrow at him, “So this was a test?” 

Another wink, “Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to see you again.” 

Hajime scoffs, “So a trick?”

“Maybe that too.” 

This time he laughs and breaks the intense eye contact from the musician, “Okay, Okay, tell me. What's your name?” 

The other runs a hand through his hair and grins, “Oikawa. Oikawa Tooru.” 

Hajime lets the name ricochet off the walls of his brain. Oikawa. Oikawa. Oikawa. The name somehow fits him perfectly for some reason. Oikawa. Oikawa.  

Suddenly, he's broken out of his trance by Oikawa saying, “Hey, you look fancier today. Just came from a meeting?” 

Hajime looks down to realize that in his rush to find Oikawa, he completely forgot to change into something more casual. “Oh uh yeah I-”

“There's a new launch coming in the new year right? Pretty cool.” 

His eyes go wide, “What? How did you-” 

Oikawa laughs, “Did you really think I didn't know about the elusive Iwaizumi Hajime? Hate to burst your bubble but you're on that damn billboard over there.” He points to a big sign in the distance, “You're not that anonymous.” 

Hajime feels his face flush. So he did know who I was. “So you just talk to everyone like that? You must piss people off.”

“Just a part of my charm Iwa,” he says, sticking out his tongue. 

The nickname catches him off guard, “Don't call me that.” 

Oikawa winks again and says, “Too late.” Then he leans down, and picks up his guitar, “I'll see you next week? We can discuss other nicknames then.”

Wow this guy is bold. “Bold of you to assume there will be a next week. I never said we were friends,” he says. 

“Oh Iwa,” Oikawa smirks, “You don't have a choice.” 

Hajime has no idea why that made his stomach seem to flip. Oikawa continues, “Ooh! I know! Iwa-chan! Perfect ring to it.” 

He rubs his temple, “Do not call me that .” 

But Oikawa has already turned to leave, “See you around Iwa-chan!” 

And this is where Hajime should go back home and never come back to this market, be rational and never get involved with this chaotic man again. 

Well, that's what he probably should've done. 

Chapter Text

Over the next month, Hajime meets Oikawa at the market three more times–having to make up terrible excuse after terrible excuse; All to watch Oikawa sing a few songs and to talk to him for maybe ten minutes. It shouldn't feel worth it, but for some strange, twisted, annoying reason, it does. In fact, it starts to become the oddly enough, best part of his week; The only part of the week he actually somewhat looks forward to. 

On the fourth visit, Hajime realizes that he still hasn't gotten Oikawa's number yet. So, while the singer collects his things, Hajime clears his throat and says, “I still don't have your number yet.” 

Oikawa's eyes light up, “Ooh Iwa-chan wants to text me? What an honor!” He teases. 

Hajime turns away from him to hide the heat creeping into his face. He reaches into his pocket and grabs his cell phone, thrusting it into Oikawa's hand. “Just do it,” he grits. 

The brunette laughs loudly, and takes the phone, pulling up the contacts app and typing in his number. He hands it back to Hajime looking extremely pleased with himself. Hajime looks down at the screen and sees that Oikawa has put his name down on his phone as Oikawa, followed by about a million random emojis. He sighs and rolls his eyes, “Why are you like this?” 

“I'm like this so that you won't ever have to even read the name when you get a text. You'll like immediately know it's me.” Oikawa does a dramatic bow, “You're welcome.” 

He laughs and shakes his head, “You are unbelievable sometimes.” 

“Unbelievably awesome!” The latter replies. Laughing, Oikawa reaches into his pocket for his phone, pulling it out and checking the time. His eyes widen and his expression switches to one of frustration. “Crap..” he mutters.

“What happened?” Hajime asks. 

Oikawa sighs, “I missed my damn bus again.” 

Hajime curses, “Shit, sorry. If I didn't ask right then you might've-” 

“No Iwa,” Oikawa cuts him off, “It's my own bad time management.” He sighs again, “Well then, I guess I'll head off to the bus stop and wait. Maybe I'll practice some tunes while I'm there. I have a lot of time to kill. Bye Iwa-chan!” 

Oikawa flashes him a smile before turning around and making his way down the path. Something about the man leaving makes Hajime's stomach twist; Like his heart is wanting the conversation to continue. So without thinking, Hajime blurts out, “When does the next bus come?” 

He sees Oikawa freeze and turn around to face him once again, a small grin tugging on his lips, “In about an hour or so.”

-

They walk together away from the market and down the street, Oikawa humming a light tune as they walk. He tilts his head to glance at Hajime through his hair, then continues looking straight ahead like nothing happened. Hajime feels his heart tug at the brown gaze, his eyes darting straight down to stare at the concrete. What is this feeling? 

Oikawa seems to notice his quietness and clears his throat awkwardly, “You know, you really didn't have to do this Iwa-chan. I could've just waited by myself.” 

He senses a slight tone of insecurity in Oikawa's voice, which causes him to immediately respond, “No. It's my pleasure. I didn’t want you to have to wait around for an hour.” 

It seems to be the reply Oikawa wanted to hear because he immediately looks a lot brighter after just that one comment. Together, they arrive at a local coffee shop. Hajime stops outside the door and peers inside. It's crowded as hell. Oh god. I can't walk in with him. He feels guilt wash over him. If someone sees us I'm screwed. He runs through possible solutions in his head, then turns to Oikawa and says, “I'll just pop in and get it for us. What do you want?” 

Oikawa's eyes flicker with something that betrays his bright smile for a second, but he doesn't comment. “Iced latte with cinnamon and a splash of vanilla.” 

Hajime nods and pushes open the door to the shop, leaving Oikawa outside. He sighs and scratches the back of his neck as he gets in line. He turns around to see Oikawa outside through the window; He's looking out onto the upcoming traffic, his shoulders slightly slumped. Hajime quickly turns away, his face heating up. 

-

When he returns, Oikawa looks up from his phone and grins at him as if nothing ever happened. It stuns Hajime for a second, making him think that maybe Oikawa didn't care about not going in the shop after all. He hands the latte over to Oikawa who takes it gratefully and takes a sip. The brunette's eyes fall closed as he savors the taste. Then, he gently opens his eyes to look at Hajime again, “Thanks Iwa-chan!” 

Hajime nods, “No problem. Let's head to your bus stop now.” 

He starts to stroll away from the shop, Oikawa following close behind. They walk side by side in silence, which is quickly broken by Oikawa asking, “Hey Iwa? What's your story?” 

Hajime raises an eyebrow, “What?” 

The other shrugs, “I mean we've been meeting for weeks now and I still barely know you. Tell me things.” 

He tuts, thinking of something to say that will satisfy (He's not good at introductions), “I'm uh an only child; born and raised in Tokyo with my parents. I'm meant to run the tech company one day, you know, take over the empire.” The brunette nods but doesn't reply, staring at the concrete as if he's waiting for him to continue. When he doesn't, the silence builds. Feeling awkward, Hajime adds, “So, uh it's your turn. Tell me your story.”

Oikawa looks up to meet his eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Oh where to start!” He laughs, “Well for starters I'm a singer-” 

“As if that wasn't obvious.” 

“Shut up! Okay, so yeah I'm trying to make a name for myself currently and I have this gut feeling that it'll happen here in Tokyo.” Oikawa sighs blissfully as a cool breeze rushes by, “Sometimes I still can't believe I'm here! I've always dreamed of this since I was a kid.” 

“Really?” Hajime asks, “Being in Tokyo was your childhood dream?” 

Oikawa looks up at the sky, “I guess. Living in Tokyo specifically? Maybe not, but being able to focus on my music and songwriting full time? That's always been the dream.” 

Hajime's eyes widen. “Sounds like you've known what you wanted for a long time,” he says, “Why didn't you go after it sooner?”

Big brown eyes lock on his for a quick second, then move away. Oikawa gets quiet, his voice sounding small and vulnerable as he mutters, “It scared me.”

Scared him? His dreams scared him? Those words swirl around his brain. What about it scared him? Hajime realizes that his thoughts are reflected in his expressions because Oikawa immediately looks like he regrets what he said. He seems to shrink into himself just a bit, as if he knew that he might have revealed more than he would like. So, Oikawa looks relieved when they finally reach his stop, slipping away from Hajime and yelling, “Bye Iwa-chan! Thanks for the coffee!” 

But even after the singer has left, those words linger in Hajime's brain. 

“It scared me” 

Chapter Text

He doesn't understand why, but something about those three words Oikawa said days ago haunts his mind. The smallness of the man's voice, the physical discomfort afterwards, it all stays with him; including the lingering question of why Oikawa was scared of chasing his dreams. Hajime can't quite put a finger on what the reason could even be. Oikawa's music is good; It couldn't possibly have been because of that. He sighs and shakes his head. No. He's overthinking this. Oikawa was probably just nervous and the wording came out wrong. It's fine. He's fine. 

Hajime decides to push those thoughts to the back of his mind until he sees Oikawa again the following week. After all, what happened before doesn't concern him, he shouldn't even be fretting so much over this. He reminds himself that this is still just a guy he met last month; A musician from the street. Nothing more. He doesn't need to think about him. 

But this effort is soon defeated by the oncoming rush of: Oikawa, Oikawa, Oikawa, flooding through his brain.

God, he thinks, why do I care so much?

A realization dawns on him.

Why does he care about him so much?

-

Wednesday afternoon, Hajime is called into his father's office which is never a good sign. He feels his breathing get faster as he fidgets with his hands all the way up the elevator. His father is not one for messing around and light hearted conversations; So even at twenty two, Hajime is just as terrified of him as he was at twelve. 

He pushes open the heavy wooden door and slips inside the pristine office. Plaques, trophies and awards line the walls of the room. The back wall behind his father's desk is made entirely of large glass panels. Hajime sits down in the leather chair opposite from his father and says, “You wanted to talk to me?” 

The man's expression doesn't change, his low, sharp voice coming out like the first clap of thunder in a storm. “Yes Hajime, yes I did.” 

“What is it then?” He asks, trying to keep his voice level. 

His father doesn't break eye contact as he takes a folder from his desk and opens it in one swift motion. He runs his fingers over the pages inside, stopping at one and pulling it out. Then, he closes the folder and proceeds to slide the paper across the table towards Hajime. Hajime stares down at the sheet of paper, his blood running cold. 

On the paper is a photograph, and it's of himself and Oikawa. In the picture, they are walking away from the coffee shop together. Oikawa looks to be in mid conversation with Hajime staring at him intently. They caught us, he thinks. And great, he probably made Oikawa feel bad for no reason now since his efforts to dodge attention are now in vain.

His father's voice snaps him out of his thought process, “My assistant Yoshida sent me this during his break. Want to explain?” 

Hajime's heartbeat has traveled to his ears. He gulps, “I don't know him I promise,” he lies. 

“Really?” The man's deep voice booms, strong and condescending, “You sure look like you do.”

“I went for a coffee and he ran up to me while I was leaving asking for spare change. He's a new musician and was desperate,” he lies again, “I would never willingly interact with someone like him.” His stomach churns with disgust for his own words. 

His father still looks skeptical, but ultimately stops pestering him. Hajime lets out an internal sigh of relief. His father sighs, “In that case, you need to be more careful. If someone important sees you with a low life our whole image could be in jeopardy. People like us shouldn't be interacting with nobodies like him.” 

He's not a nobody. Hajime's eyes fall to the floor. “Yes father.”

The man continues, “Seriously Hajime, you need to keep a low profile.” He scoffs and looks to the side, “It was already difficult enough for us when the public found out my son is gay.” 

He freezes, his gaze rocketing back up to meet his father’s eyes. The look he receives is easy to decode: Stop letting me down. A feeling of shame washes over him, as well as one for pure, spine chilling fear. “Yes father,” he replies.

-

Hajime returns to his own office soon after his meeting with his father feeling sick to his stomach. He falls back into his chair, feeling lightheaded and like he's about to explode all at once. 

He leans forwards and lies his head down on his desk, his face concealed by his arms. As he lies there, he thinks about what his father had said to him. 

“It was already difficult enough for us when the public found out my son is gay.” 

The memory of the words makes him shiver. It's true. When he first came out to them at nineteen, it was a big shock. It soon became a secret that only his family was supposed to be aware of. That is until sudden rumors arose about him; questions about his sexuality and relationship status. Eventually, they made the ultimate decision to reveal the truth to the public, which caused almost just as much uproar than the rumors. And though Hajime's parents claimed that they supported him, he'll never forget the slight look of embarrassment and disappointment on their faces. The commotion has luckily died down over the years, which Hajime is very thankful for. However, he still can't ignore the glimpse of subtle resentment I'm his father's eyes. He shakes his head and sits up straight. One day when I own the company, I will make him proud.

Hajime's phone buzzes from his pocket, making him jump slightly. He grabs it and unlocks it to find two missed messages from Oikawa. 

Oikawa 2:15pm

Iwa? Are you coming today?

Oikawa 2:30pm

Is everything ok? 

His eyes widen as he checks the time. Oh my god. He completely forgot to tell Oikawa about his meeting with his father, and then didn't even text him back because he was too busy moping in his office. Shit. 

On instinct, he hits the call button before his brain even registers what he's doing. Oikawa answers on the first ring, “Iwa-chan? Oh good you're alive I-” 

“Where are you?” He interrupts.

“Uh, I'm about to leave for the bus stop.”

“Wait there.”

“Iwa, what?”

“Just wait there!” he says hastily. Then, he hangs up before Oikawa can even answer.

He quickly grabs his keys and his coat, but then stops at the door. What am I doing? He just had that conversation with his father and now he's going out again to meet this guy? This is not smart. But then he stares down at Oikawa's contact number, feeling a warmth that he hasn't felt all day. It'll be fine, he thinks. What they don't know can't hurt them. And with that, he’s flying out the door.

-

He arrives at the market about ten minutes later, searching for Oikawa. Quickly, he makes his way to where Oikawa is normally set up, but he's not there. His heart sinks for a moment. Did he leave already? Hajime shakes his head at the thought and continues his search. Finally, his eyes land on the brunette, sitting down on the concrete, strumming on his guitar. When the singer looks up at him, he's relieved to see that wide grin again. “Iwa!” Oikawa exclaims, “You came!” 

The thought that Oikawa was hoping to see him makes his heart lurch. “Yeah,” he says, “I'm sorry I'm so late today. I forgot to tell you I had a meeting with my father.”

“No, I get it, it's fine. So, how'd it go with Mr. CEO?” 

Hajime sighs. What is he supposed to say? He shrugs, “It went fine. Just business stuff. He's kinda terrifying though.” 

Oikawa nods, “I get that. My people used to never give me a break.” As his words slip out, Oikawa's expression seems to fall. 

“Used to?” 

Oikawa's eyes widen in alarm, “Not like they're dead! It's just that..”

“What?” Hajime asks.

The same small look Oikawa wore last week has reappeared, but is soon replaced by a big smile. “Nothing Iwa-chan! Now, want to walk with me to the bus?” 

He nods absent-mindedly, following Oikawa away from the market, but his mind is preoccupied. 

“It scared me.” 

“My people used to never give me a break.” 

What could have scared him? Why did the mention of his family make him look so deflated?

What does it all mean?

Chapter Text

Three weeks later… 

Oikawa's practically skipping down the sidewalk as Hajime walks him to the bus stop, grinning widely. And as much as he hates to admit it, Hajime feels that familiar feeling of sunshine blooming in his chest, and face. Part of him still knows this is wrong; the same part of him that's been telling him this since the moment he met the man. He should not be risking his and his family's reputation to run around with Oikawa. 

But he stupidly wants to anyway. 

Because when he looks into those topaz eyes, his heart urges him to stay close; to enjoy whatever this is for as long as he can. 

Oikawa turns to him eagerly, “Iwa-chan, we're friends right?” 

Ah that's the word for this. Friendship. The word rolls off his tongue weirdly. Hajime can't remember the last time someone called him that; A friend. Growing up as the son of a CEO, Hajime was used to being sheltered from the outside world. His parents made sure to never let him interact with children who were “less fortunate” than himself. Therefore, he was homeschooled his entire life. He never had playdates like the other children, or went to the park on the weekends. Instead, he sat at home alone in their unnecessarily gigantic mansion for hours, looking out of the windows onto the bustling city. Even now as an adult, Hajime's life unfortunately hasn't changed much. The only difference is that instead of sitting at his desk in his bedroom and doing schoolwork that his tutor had assigned for him, he's sitting at his desk in his office drawing in endless paperwork. It's been so long that Hajime didn't even know what friendship even really felt like before meeting Oikawa.

He blinks at Oikawa a few times, before smirking and responding, “I thought I didn't have a choice.” 

A smile creeps up on Oikawa's lips, “Just making sure you were paying attention to me.” 

Hajime scoffs, although it contains no venom at all, “You are such a brat.”

Oikawa gasps dramatically, “Mean Iwa-chan!”

He rolls his eyes, “Yes Oikawa, we're friends.” 

The other looks extremely pleased with himself as he says, “Good. Because I kinda already said that you’d come and meet my friends sometime next week.” 

Hajimes eyes go wide, freezing where he is and staring at the brunette like a madman, “You did what?”

“Oh come on Iwa! It’ll be fun!” 

“You agreed to these plans without even letting me know first!?” 

The singer shakes his head like he's offended by the question, “No! I was the one that made them, duh!” 

He sighs and rubs his temples, “Fucking hell Shittykawa..” he mumbles under his breath. 

“So mean today!” Oikawa rolls his eyes, “Come on, it'll be great for you guys to meet! We've already known each other for like two months.” 

Hajime looks back up at him, “I do want to meet them Oikawa. It's just that I..” 

“Huh?” 

He exhales, “I just really suck at meeting people for the first time. I just get so stressed out and make a fool of myself and I don't want to embarrass y-” 

Oikawa suddenly places a hand on his shoulder, “It's okay if you don't want to. I can explain something to them, but I think it'd be nice for all of us. You'd really like them and I'm sure they'd love you. You're a pretty cool guy you know?” 

Hajime laughs, “Is that so?” 

“I mean not as cool as me but pretty close.”

He feels the tightness in his chest fade away as he laughs again, “Okay Shittykawa. Let's meet your friends then.” He starts to walk towards the bus stop again.

Oikawa follows shortly after, calling out, “Rude Iwa-chan!”

-

And that's how Hajime finds himself outside the house of Oikawa's friends the next Saturday night. He does a double check of the address Oikawa sent him, before sending him a quick text just to make sure. 

Me 7:24pm

Hey I'm here.

His phone buzzes immediately with Oikawa's response.

Oikawa 7:25pm

I'll come get the door! :)

He walks up to the porch, waiting outside anxiously. When the door abruptly swings open to reveal Oikawa, smiling brightly at him. “Iwa! Come in and meet everyone!” Oikawa grabs his hand and tugs him inside, then gestures to the two men standing behind him, “This is Makki and Mattsun!” Then, without giving the two any time to respond, snaps, “Say hi you bastards!” 

Makki laughs while Mattsun rolls his eyes and says, “I was just about to do that, stupid.” He extends his hand to Hajime with a smile, “What's up? Nice to finally meet you.” 

Hajime shakes his hand, then asks, “Finally?” 

Makki pipes in, “Oh yeah, Oikawa hasn't shut up about you since he met-” 

“How about we all get to know each other huh?” Oikawa squeals, shooing them all inside, his eyes shooting daggers at his friends. 

Hajime just laughs as he slides off his shoes, a blush creeping onto his face. The thought of Oikawa talking about him to his best friends makes his heart leap against his will. 

-

They settle into the living room, Makki and Mattsun firing question after question at Hajime who does his best to answer them all. “So, Iwaizumi,” Makki laughs, “Why out of all people did you choose to hang around with this loser?” 

“Oh like you're one to talk!” Oikawa snaps back. 

Makki ignores him, “Don't you find him to be a pain in the ass?” 

Hajime nods, “Immensely.” He turns to see Oikawa's reaction and smirks when he sees the look of offense on his face. 

Oikawa gasps, “The betrayal! Iwa, how could you do this to me?! Siding with Makki!?” 

“It's not betrayal to just speak the truth,” Makki says nonchalantly.

“URGH!!” Oikawa huffs, “I can't believe Mattsun still likes you after all these years! He has to put up with your cheap shots, your bad haircut and your cooking!” 

Mattsun, who has been relatively calm this whole conversation bursts out laughing. It's Makki's turn to gasp, “Excuse me?!” 

Oikawa crosses his arms smugly, fluttering his eyelashes, “I just spoke the truth Makki, it's not betrayal!” 

“What's wrong with my cooking?! I was your own personal catering service for almost a whole year!”

Hajime's breath hitches. He turns to look at Oikawa, who seems to stiffen for maybe half a second before going back to normal. What did that mean? He pushes the thought back and turns his attention back to the discussion at hand.

“And just for your information, those cheap shots are only for you. And justifiably so,” Makki continues.

Mattsun laughs again, “What about that comment about your hair?” 

Makki shoots him a glare, “That one is your fault.”

“What?!” 

“You cut my hair!” 

“You said you liked it!” 

“Well I- Stop laughing Oikawa! Your hair sucks too!” 

Oikawa stands up defensively, “Now that is just a full blown lie!” 

Hajime laughs along, enjoying the banter and trying to ignore the rotating thoughts in his brain.

-

Later that evening, Hajime and Oikawa leave Mattsun and Makki's house. On their way out, Mattsun calls, “Come back again!” 

Hajime smiles and nods, “Will do.” 

Then, the front door closes. Oikawa looks at Hajime and smiles, “See? That was so fun!” 

He laughs softly and meets his eyes, “Yeah, thanks for arranging it.” 

Oikawa nods happily, “Anytime Iwa-chan!” He walks down the path and says, “Well I should get going or I'm going to be late. See you Iwa!”

Hajime raises an eyebrow, “Late? For what?” 

The singer turns around in confusion, “The bus?” 

“This late?” 

Oikawa shrugs, “How else am I supposed to get home?” 

Hajime looks down, feeling guilty when he realizes Oikawa doesn't have a car. So that's why he takes the bus home every Wednesday. “Get in the car,” he says suddenly, “I'll drive you home.” 

“What?” 

“Come on,” he gestures for him to follow, “I don't want you taking the bus this late.” 

Oikawa looks surprised but doesn't argue, sliding into the shiny black vehicle. 

-

Hajime pulls up outside a quaint apartment building, the street lights dim. “Is this the right one?” He asks.

“Yep,” Oikawa says, opening the car door, “Thanks for the ride Iwa.” 

He nods, looking up at the apartment. One of the windows is decked out in fairy lights and has plants covering the balcony. On the balcony is also a large plush chair. “Is that one yours?” He asks again. 

Oikawa laughs, “How'd you know?” 

Hajime shrugs, “It has the most personality.” 

“It has even more on the inside,” Oikawa says, “If you have the time..I could give you a tour?”

Hajime blinks a few times, shocked by the sudden invitation. When he doesn't respond right away, Oikawa breaks his gaze, “Sorry, sorry, that was weird of me sorry-” 

“No,” Hajime says firmly, “I-I'd love to see.” 

He can see a blush appear on Oikawa's cheeks in the moonlight. “Okay then.”

-

Oikawa walks inside the building with Hajime, heading to the elevator briskly. Hajime watches as he hits the button for floor two, then steps back and waits. The elevator whirs slowly up before stopping suddenly, the doors sliding open. Oikawa beckons Hajime to follow him as he walks over to one of the wooden doors in the hallway and inserts the key. He pushes open the door and gestures inside, “Welcome to my humble abode.” 

Hajime steps inside, taking in the small studio apartment. Oikawa seems to adore those fairy lights because they cascade down the walls and make the room emit a warm glow. Other than the string lights, Oikawa's walls are extremely bare aside from maybe the occasional poster. There's a TV next to his bed with Oikawa's guitar leaning up against the TV stand. Hajime nods at the surroundings, “Cozy in here.” 

Oikawa smiles appreciatively, “Thanks! Not as big as what you're probably used to but it does the job y'know?”

He doesn't argue with that. Instead, he turns his attention towards the trinkets that lie around Oikawa's TV stand. His eyes land on a turquoise, beaded bracelet with a pink heart charm on it. “What's this?” 

The singer's eyes follow Hajime's and find the bracelet. He walks over and picks it up gently. “That day when you were late, a little girl ran up to me after I finished a song and gave it to me,” he traces the heart charm with the pad of his finger, “She said she made it and that she loved the song I was singing.” 

Hajime smiles at the softness of Oikawa's voice. “That's sweet,” he says. 

Oikawa nods silently, slipping on the bracelet and sinking down to the carpet. “It was my new song too. I was..so happy someone really liked it.” 

Sitting down next to Oikawa, Hajime lets his voice become soft, “What song was it?” 

The brunette's eyes glimmer. He reaches over and takes his guitar into his lap, “I'll show you.” 

Oikawa's eyes fall closed as he gently begins to strum the guitar strings, humming and swaying to the beat of his own rhythm. Then he begins to sing. And Hajime practically is knocked back by the intoxicating sound of his voice. Like a siren song, he finds himself drawn into the sound of it, refusing to tear his eyes away from the man in front of him. Oikawa tilts his head just enough that the radiant, warm glow from the lights is casted on the right side of his face; Making his skin look golden and smooth like warm caramel. Since the moment he first saw him, he always knew that Oikawa is a good singer, but never did he ever think that any human being was capable of making such a spectacular, poetic melody. 

Beautiful. The only word that comes to mind. Simply beautiful. 

Slowly, Oikawa's strumming slows, and the song fades out. His eyes snap back up to stare Hajime in the eyes, most likely seeing the memorized expression on his face because he looks suddenly insecure. “Did you…like it?”  He asks softly.

Hajime gives him a look of disbelief, “Did I like it? It was fucking incredible.” 

Oikawa blushes and for the first time since he met him, there is absolutely no cockiness or teasing nature in sight. “I-I still can't believe that some people actually like my music. Even if it isn't that big of an audience.” He leans down and grabs a box from on one of the shelves underneath the TV. He opens it and takes out a framed photo. Hajime looks over at the picture to see four people; A couple and two kids, a boy and a girl. The boy in the picture has familiar hazel hair and chocolate brown eyes. 

Hajime stares at the photo in shock, “Is this your-”

“My family. Yeah.” Oikawa runs his fingers along the glass, “My parents and my older sister Shiori.” 

He studies Oikawa's face, wondering if he should ask something or not, “Did they come to Tokyo with you?” 

“No,” Oikawa says plainly, “I came by myself.”  Silence lingers before Oikawa speaks again. “They wouldn't have wanted to come with me anyway. They were the reason I had to leave in the first place.” 

Hajime nods, “Do you..want to talk about it?”

Oikawa doesn't directly answer him, but he continues talking nonetheless, “My parents only wanted one child, so when my older sister was born, they felt like they were set. Then I was born.” He takes a deep breath, “I was what they liked to call an accident and a mistake. From the moment I could comprehend words, my parents would tell me about how excited they were for me to grow up and be able to take care of myself. They told me all about how they wouldn't be paying for my education or my lifestyle after eighteen and how they would “leave me to the world”.”

The brunette sucks in a breath, “Then it was worse when they found out I was gay at fifteen. They even threatened to kick me out! They…told me to get my life together or else they could care less. So then I worked three jobs at once to pay for my college tuition and graduated in the top of my class. But…I never wanted to be a doctor or lawyer or politician. Music was my passion, my dream. However, I knew I could never tell them. They already seemed to be on the brink of not loving me that..anything could have tipped the iceberg. But eventually, I started getting antsy. I couldn't keep pretending to be someone I wasn't. So, I decided to tell them that I wanted to pursue my music instead.” Oikawa goes quiet for a moment, then looks up to lock his gaze with Hajime's, “And obviously that did not go well.” 

Hajime reaches out to give his hand a light squeeze. Oikawa smiles at him appreciatively, “They told me that I was a disgrace, told me to get out of their house and to not come back. Even my sister sided with them. I don't know if it was real or out of fear…but it still hurt. I bought a ticket to Tokyo that night and contacted Makki and Mattsun. We had been best friends since elementary, but they moved here to go to college together and already had a place.” He sighs, “So then I camped out on their sofa for almost a year while I tried to get back on my feet. Lowest point in my life. I actually only got this place maybe a couple months before I met you.” 

“Really?” 

He looks slightly ashamed. “Yeah,” he says, “and even sometimes Makki and Mattsun still help me with rent…” Tears have collected in Oikawa's eyes. 

Hajime puts a hand on his shoulder and slowly pulls him into a hug, comforting his friend. 

Friend.

Oikawa rests his head on his shoulder whispering, “So, I'm just shocked that people- that you like my songs.” 

The word like is killing him. “Oikawa, I love your songs.” 

Oikawa's eyes light up as he turns his head to stare at Hajime, “You-you do?” 

“Yes Oikawa.” 

A faint smile appears on the other's lips, “Thanks Iwa.” 

The singer sinks down into his arms, and he feels Oikawa's soft breath hit his neck and he realizes just how close they are right now. 

This is fine. I'm just being there for my friend.

Friend. 

After a few moments of quiet, Oikawa asks again, “Are you really sure though or-” 

“Oikawa,” he says firmly, gazing into those deep eyes, “I love your songs.” 

Their faces are so close together. 

Friends. 

Then without thinking he says, “I love listening to them. I love watching you in your element. I love-” 

FRIENDS.

His words hitch in his throat, Oikawa looks at him, puzzled. “Iwa-chan? Are you okay?” 

Shit. 

Fuck. 

Did I almost-

Hajime feels like he's on fire. He quickly breaks away his gaze from Oikawa and scrambles to his feet. He hastily grabs his phone and starts turning to leave. 

“Iwa- what?” 

“Sorry I- the time I uh,” he stutters, “I should go I-” 

“Did I do something?” 

He whips around to look at him quickly, “No! I just-” He shoves his feet into his shoes, not even bothering to tie them properly, “I just gotta go uh goodnight!” 

He quickly flings the door open and bolts out of there. As he leaves he can faintly hear Oikawa call out, “Hajime?” 

He stumbles back to his car, slamming the door shut. It's pitch black out, and the seats of the car are freezing, but at the same time, it suddenly feels like a sauna in there. He hastily throws off his coat onto the passenger seat and starts the engine. Then he drives out of there until Oikawa's apartment is nowhere in sight. He reaches a secluded part of the road and stops there, breathing heavily. It's not until he switches the engine off and it's dead silent in there that he realizes what he just did. 

Oh fuck me. 

Chapter Text

Hajime can't sleep. He lies awake for hours, his brain unable to shut off. The image of Oikawa, looking hurt and confused, plasters itself to the front of his mind. A couple days pass by, and he receives a few messages from Oikawa. 

Oikawa 11:23am

Iwa did I say something wrong? I'm sorry if I upset you in some way. Call me if you want to talk about it? 

Hajime doesn't respond as much as his heart begs him to, and no matter how much of an asshole he feels like. And why? Maybe because he doesn't want to accept what he did, or because he feels bad that Oikawa thinks it was his fault, or both. 

Part of him still doesn't want to believe that that night ever happened. But it did; And as hard as he tries to, he can't erase it. He almost told him that he…no. That's not possible. He didn't almost tell him he loves him. He couldn't, could he?

Hajime himself isn't even sure he knows what love is, let alone know that he loves Oikawa. He's only known the man for two months after all. Doesn't love take longer than that? What even is love? 

-

Day 5 without Oikawa

It doesn't dawn on Hajime until about the fifth day without Oikawa that he feels a lot more…alone without him. Not just in the physical manner (he only saw him in person once a week anyway) but also when he's on his phone. About a week before today, Oikawa was spamming his phone with messages, rants, and sometimes even voice messages about his day; Telling him endless stories containing music references he didn't understand, and what seemed to be completely random thoughts. He always would send him some kind of sarcastic message back, acting annoyed with him. But he knew Oikawa saw right through that, since he would always just complain about him being a bully or something and move on to his rant. Hajime realizes that Oikawa's messages and annoyingly long texts brought him a sense of calm. 

He would never admit it, but he actually always looked forward to hearing about the singer's day. He liked listening to Oikawa's voice spill out of the voice recording, his voice going up in pitch whenever he got excited. He…misses it. It was nice to have someone to listen and talk to. 

-

Day 11 without Oikawa

He doesn't visit Oikawa at the market again on Wednesday. Instead, he stays in his office, slouched over his computer and tapping away at the keyboard. He sighs and stands, turning around to stare out the big window behind his desk. Hajime looks down at the city, desperately wishing he was out there; with someone. Suddenly he hears a voice behind him, “Hajime?” 

He turns to see his mother standing in the doorway, her arms folded over her chest. She's dressed in a dark blue blouse, a golden brooch pinned to it. He gulps, immediately standing up straighter as he answers, “Yes mother?” 

The woman stares back, “What are you doing? You're supposed to be working.” 

Hajime nods, “Just taking a break. I'll get back to it soon.” 

She tuts, “You need to be more diligent if you're going to take over once your father retires.” 

Ah yes, running the company. The dream that he's had since he was young. But for once, the thought doesn't give him the usual boost of dopamine. “I'm sorry. I'll do better.” 

“Good. I'm going to the spa now. I'll see you tonight.”

Just as she turns to leave, Hajime quietly asks, “Mom?” 

His mother turns to him expectantly, “Yes dear?” 

“Do you and dad like running the company?” 

“Of course,” she answers like it's the most obvious question.

His gaze hits the floor, “Don't you ever get…tired of it?” She doesn't respond right away which makes Hajime ramble on, “I mean you two every moment in the offices and meeting rooms, or out of town with potential business partners. Everyday is the same. Working, and working, and working and trying to do what's best for the company every day. Doesn't it get exhausting?” 

“No,” she says sternly, “It's not working if you love what you do.” 

“But you hardly ever get to do things you actually enjoy because of it. Back when I was a kid and it was mainly dad in charge of the company, you loved painting! You used to paint murals on my bedroom walls for me and teach me about mixing paints. You were great at it!” 

His mother scoffs, “That’s in the past. That was before I understood the true meaning of business. Your father opened up my eyes to it.” 

“But don't you miss having fun?” 

“What?” 

“Fun! You used to go places with your friends and do things. Wasn't that more enjoyable? To have company?” 

She shakes her head, “It's more satisfying to feel proud of what you have accomplished in life. What even is the meaning of this Hajime? What has gotten into you?” 

Hajime gets quiet again, “Wasn't it less…lonely?” 

Her expression softens slightly, “Is this what this is about?” She sighs, “Come on dear, loneliness only appears when you have too much time on your hands. When you're busy at work, you won't even notice or care! One day you will understand that.”

She's not listening to me. 

“Yes mother.”

“And,” She continues, “I wouldn't worry about being lonely if I were you. Once your CEO and in more of the public eye, a bunch of pretty ladies will be lining up for you.” 

His whole body stiffens, eyes locking hard with his mother. “Mother, I'm gay, remember?” 

Her eyes widen slightly, before narrowing again, a slight look of distaste plastered on her face. She sighs and takes a step toward the door, “Right.” Then, she disappears into the hall.

Once she is gone, Hajime walks back over to his desk and sits down in his chair defeatedly. Another reminder of what he is to his parents; A disappointment. 

-

Day 15 without Oikawa

It's Sunday night, Hajime is curled up in his bed, staring at the swirled pattern of his tall ceiling. He feels so empty and it's no one's fault but his own. Oikawa could've been texting him right now and updating him about his life and talking to him, and making sure he didn't feel lonely. But that's not what's happening. Because Hajime was stupid and ran. 

This could all be solved if Hajime just texted him back the day after everything happened. Maybe they could've talked about it and worked it out. Maybe he wouldn't be feeling as crappy as he does right now. The worst part is that if he is feeling this awful, Oikawa's probably feeling ten times worse. And that absolutely kills him; it makes his heart ache. The guilt eats away at him as he lies there, wishing he hadn't left; Wishing that… he finished his sentence. 

Because it was true wasn't it? He loves Oikawa. Right? The thought feels brand new in Hajime's brain. The concept of loving someone. Oikawa himself as a being was new to Hajime. His charisma and enthusiasm was unbeatable, but he also had this deeply compassionate, almost sweet side. It was odd, but he loved it. He loved him. Oh my god. 

I really screwed this up huh? 

Chapter Text

His phone rests in the palm of his hand; the call button staring him in the soul. He clicks it. 

The phone rings. 

Once.

Twice.

Three times. 

He starts to worry that it will go to voicemail, but thankfully, it connects on the fourth ring. At first, he doesn't hear anyone on the other side. “Oikawa?” He asks. 

A voice echoes through the speaker, “Hey Iwa.” 

There's a certain comfort in hearing his name from the other, but he feels too guilty to enjoy it. “How have…you been?” 

There's a sigh on the other end, “What did you expect?” He sounds tired. 

He nods silently as if Oikawa can see him doing so, “Yeah. Sorry.” There's a long pause of silence. “Hey, where are you right now?” He asks. 

A pause, “At home, why?” 

“Can you meet me at the park? The one across from your apartment?” 

“What?” 

He scratches the back of his neck, “I-I want to talk about it with you. I want to explain.” 

“It's nine pm Iwa.” 

“I know.” 

“Then why-” 

“Please.” 

Oikawa's breath hitches. Hajime waits for a response, the long pause making him nervous. Oikawa sighs again, “Meet me in half an hour.” 

-

Hajime flies out of his rooms and down the halls of the mansion. He heads down the staircase and soon enough, slides the door open to the garage. He makes a beeline for his car and swings the door open. Reaching over to buckle his seat belt, he clicks a button on a small remote next to the console. The garage doors rise to reveal the sun setting on the summer sky. He starts the engine and slowly pulls away from the garage, closing the door once again as he exits. Once he's on the street, he doesn't take time to think of anything else other than getting to Oikawa. 

He makes it to the park at nine thirty on the dot. Quickly, he scans around for Oikawa and soon finds the familiar figure on a bench in the distance. Hajime approaches him and says, “Hey.” 

Oikawa looks up at him, flashing him a small smile before moving his gaze back to the ground. Hajime slides down onto the bench, leaving a bit of space between the two of them. No one talks for a while. Oikawa fiddles with the zipper on his sweatshirt. “I don't understand Iwa,” Oikawa mumbles, “What happened?” 

Hajime sighs but doesn't answer. The words in his brain don't seem to form the right meaning. Noticing his lack of response, the brunette shakes his head, “Do you understand how scary that was? How awful it felt? I opened up to you. I was vulnerable with you and…you ran away?” 

Fuck.

He feels like the biggest asshole in the world. Hajime looks away from the man, “I'm so sorry Oikawa.” 

The singer nods along, “Then why did you leave?” Glassy topaz eyes force Hajime's to meet them, “What did I do?” 

Nothing, I'm just stupid. “You didn't do anything.” 

“Tell me!”

“I’m telling you, you did nothing wrong Oikawa.”

“Did I say something?” 

He closes his eyes, trying to string together the right words. “It's not something you said, Oikawa,” He looks up at the sky, “It's…something I didn't say.” 

Oikawa stares at him in shock and confusion. Hajime refuses to look at him, “I realized that I might… and I almost… but I got scared and confused and…” 

He hears a light gasp. Slowly, he turns to see the other's expression. Oikawa looks like he's on the brink of tears. “That night,” the singer starts, eyes wide, “You never finished your sentence. You said you….do you mean that…” 

“I think I'm in love with you.” Oikawa's jaw drops. Hajime looks down, “And I know I fucked up, and it's okay if you don't feel the same but I wanted to tell you and-” 

“Shut up!” Oikawa laughs, “Just, shut up.” 

He leans forward and gently presses his lips against Hajime's. Hajime freezes for maybe half a second in surprise before he melts into the kiss, threading his arm around the singer's waist. Oikawa's lips are soft against his, his taste becoming instantly addictive to Hajime; Making him want to chase his lips. Oikawa pulls back slightly to look into his eyes and whisper, “I love you too.” Then, the brunette's lips are back on his. 

However, this only lasts a few more moments before Oikawa seems to realize that they're still outside and suddenly breaks the kiss. As they pull away, panting slightly, Hajime stares at him in bewilderment. But just as quickly, Oikawa is on his feet, extending his hand to Hajime. “Come with me?” 

This is a bad idea, he thinks. But at this moment, his mind is too preoccupied with Oikawa, and Oikawa, and Oikawa to care. He nods immediately, taking hold of Oikawa's hand.

-

The two of them stumble into Oikawa's apartment hurriedly. Then, once the door is locked behind them, Oikawa pushes Hajime against the wall and connects their lips in a heated kiss. Hajime's hands grip the singer's perfect waist, keeping him tightly pressed against him. He suddenly pushes off the wall, flipping around. Oikawa groans as he hits the wall, grabbing Hajime's face to kiss him again. Hajime moves his lips to Oikawa's jaw and down his neck, littering kisses on his skin. 

“Fuck,” Oikawa says breathlessly, throwing his head back to give Hajime full access. 

Hajime takes hold of the bottom of Oikawa's shirt and tugs it, “Off,” he whispers against his skin. 

A teasing grin spreads on the brunette's face, “No. You first.” He bites his lip, staring straight into Hajime's eyes. 

He groans, pulling his shirt over his head hastily and chucking it across the room. Oikawa throws his arms around his neck, pressing his lips against Hajime's and sliding his tongue into his mouth. Then, Oikawa begins to walk them back towards the bed and proceeds to push the other onto it. Hajime's back hits the mattress with a thump, his breath hitching as he watches Oikawa crawl on top of him. 

Once again, he grabs Oikawa's shirt. “Off,” he demands. 

The singer smirks and tosses his shirt in the same direction as Hajime’s. Hajime takes a moment to take in the man before him. He knew Oikawa was attractive from the moment he laid his eyes on him, but wow is he ever beautiful. Oikawa notices him staring and asks, “What're you thinking?” 

He cups Oikawa's cheek with his hand, “You're so fucking beautiful.”

And with that, Hajime flips them over so he's now looking down at Oikawa. The brunette gasps and tilts his head up for another kiss. When they pull apart, brown eyes meet his, “Are you sure you want this? We can wait if-” 

“Tooru.” 

The use of his given name shocks Oikawa. He looks up at Hajime. 

“Tooru,” he repeats, “I want you. I want you so fucking bad.” 

Oikawa bites his lip, closing his eyes. Then, he snaps them back open and looks at him with a fire shining brightly in his eyes. “Then have me Hajime.” 

Hajime surges down to kiss him again, losing any and all shreds of his rationality. 

-

Hajime wakes up in Oikawa's bed the next morning, the singer still fast asleep in his arms. He sighs contently, holding the man close and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Morning,” he whispers. 

Oikawa stirs, “Goodmorning,” he mumbles. 

He smiles down at him and grabs his phone to check the time. It's at that moment that he realizes that he has an avalanche of messages from his mother and assistants, all asking where he is. He sighs and sends them a message that he’ll be back in a few hours. He can make something up later. 

“Who's that?” Oikawa asks sleepily.

He shrugs, “My mother. I…didn't tell her I would be leaving last night.” 

“Does she know who I am?” 

Hajime looks at Oikawa and shakes his head lightly, “No…she doesn't.” 

Oikawa sighs, “It would be bad if she found out wouldn't it?” 

“My parents aren't the most…understanding about this stuff..” 

He expects Oikawa to be upset at him or ask him to leave, but no. He just shakes his head and leans his head against Hajime's shoulder. “Don't worry, I'm good at secrets.” 

God, this man is too perfect. “I love you.” 

Oikawa smiles, “You mean it?” 

“Of course,” he leans in to kiss him again, “I'll love you always.” 

“Aww Iwa, you're so mushy!” Oikawa laughs.

He turns away, heat filling his face, “I hate you.” 

“Nooo you love meee!” 

Hajime rolls his eyes, “Yeah, I do.” 

They sit there in comfortable silence for a bit, until Oikawa asks, “Would you still love me if I was a worm?” 

“Shittykawa, what?” 

Chapter Text

Two weeks later…

Monday

Light pours into Hajime's bedroom Monday morning; His phone alarm startling him from his deep sleep. He groans and rubs his eyes, leaning over to silence it. When he grabs the phone, he notices a notification.

Oikawa 7:12am

Goodmorning Iwa-chan!

He tries to fight the smile spreading on his face as he reads the message. He quickly types in a response and hits the send button.

Me 7:28am

Goodmorning. How did you sleep? 

His phone pings not even a minute later.

Oikawa 7:29am

Good! :)

Hajime feels warmth bloom in his chest.

Me 7:29am

Glad to hear it. I should go and get ready for work. Have a good day

As he sends the text, he wonders if he should've ended it with “I love you” or if it would be weird. Despite their whole confession a couple of weeks ago, they had yet to put a true label on what they were and had hardly used the three words since. Hajime is still figuring it out. 

Oikawa types back.

Oikawa 7:30am

Noooo don't go. I miss youuuu :(((

His heart flips in his chest. 

Me 7:31am

I'll see you on Wednesday. You'll live for two days I promise

Oikawa 7:31am 

:(

He sighs, debating what to say. Finally, he takes a deep breath and starts typing again.

Me 7:33am 

Don't be sad, I'll see you soon. Love you

He waits for a response, slowly starting to worry. However, those worries are easily lifted when Oikawa responds.

Oikawa 7:34am

I love you tooooo :)

Hajime smiles contently and climbs out of bed, setting his phone back down on the nightstand. 

-

Tuesday

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa's voice echoes through the speaker, “I missed youuuuu.” 

He laughs, “So clingy.” 

There is a huff from the other side, “You missed me too. Admit it.” 

Hajime smiles to himself, “Yeah, yeah.” 

“Iwa.” 

He laughs again, picturing the irritated look on Oikawa's face, “You know I missed you a lot.” 

The singer seems satisfied by his answer, laughing softly and changing the topic. “How was your day?” 

Hajime sighs, “Not great. My mother was lecturing me about being diligent again. She says this isn't a good look for the future CEO. She told me I have to…do better.” 

Oikawa scoffs, “You're plenty diligent. I don't know what she's talking about.” 

“You're also biased,” he reminds him.

He can almost hear the shrug from the other, “I wear it as a badge of honor. Anyway, what does she mean you have to do better?” 

“Be more committed? Work harder-” 

“But you work so hard already!” 

He tuts and shakes his head, “Not hard enough. She's right, I need to improve.” 

“In what way?” 

For a minute he goes silent. That's a good question. “Mother says that once I work hard enough, I'll never feel tired. I'll never feel alone at work. Actually, she says it won't feel like work at all. And…I trust my mother. She wouldn't lead me astray. She knows what she's doing; She has to. It'll all work out. I'll be CEO. I'll be happy.” 

“By working ten times harder than what you're already doing?” 

“I have to Oikawa,” he sighs.

The singer tries to protest, “But-” 

“Tooru stop.” 

Oikawa doesn't fight back; He just goes quiet. Hajime sighs, feeling a bit guilty for silencing him. “So,” he says, “Tell me about your day.” 

-

Wednesday

Hajime practically runs to his car during his break, eager to get to the market. He arrives and finds the brunette at his “usual” spot, singing happily with his guitar. Hajime admires him. He looks so happy when he's in his element. When the song ends, Oikawa finally spots him, flashing him a smile and wink. His cheeks flush, and he quickly turns away to hide it. 

Oikawa continues to play a couple more songs, each one just as or more beautiful than the last. Slowly, the music ends, and a small crowd begins to applaud. Oikawa laughs and thanks everyone before turning to pack up. As everyone disperses, Hajime strolls over to him, “Hey stranger.” 

Topaz eyes light up at the sight of him, “Iwa-chan!” He gets up and stands before him, looking down at whatever slight height difference he has on him. He keeps his distance because of the public eye, but his eyes are full of joy nonetheless. 

Hajime's heart flutters at the way he says his name. He smiles at the man in front of him, “How are you?” 

Oikawa winks, “Better now that you're here!” 

He rolls his eyes, even though his cheeks fish fuchsia, “Stupidkawa.” 

The other giggles, “You know you love it!” 

I do. Somehow I do. 

-

Thursday

Hajime leans back against the desk chair in his room. The work day is over, but he still needs to finish some extra emails. The time on the clock reads 8:02 pm. He's been working on this for almost two hours and has barely done half of what he needs to. Hajime groans and flops forwards onto the desk. Focus, focus. Prove why you'll be a good CEO. Prove that you're ready. He is about to start writing again when his phone starts to ring. Looking over at the contact name, he instantly grabs his phone and clicks answer.

“Oikawa?” 

“Iwa! Yay, you picked up!” 

He chuckles at the other's excitement to hear his voice, “I did. What's up?” 

“I miss you again.” 

“I literally saw you yesterday.” 

A huff comes out of the phone, “Yeah well, now I'm feeling lonely and I miss you.” 

He nods along to Oikawa's voice, “Okay then, let's talk.”

The singer goes quiet, “Actually, I was wondering if you could come here? Just for a bit!” 

“Why?” 

There's a scoff, “Cause I want a hug, duh.” 

“Are you kidding me?” 

“No.” 

He sighs, “I guess I could tell my mother I'm running out for a bit. But not that long okay? This can't become a habit.” 

“Deal!” 

Soon after the call ends, Hajime finds him outside Oikawa's door. He knocks on the door three times before footsteps seem to approach. “Iwa-chan!” The brunette flings the door open and grabs his hand to drag him inside. 

Hajime can't help the smile on his face as he wraps his strong arm around his waist and pulls him closer.  Oikawa throws his arms around his neck and leans in for a kiss that he easily returns. But soon his eyes are drawn to a small, messy, stack of papers on the floor next to the TV stand. Each sheet is littered with scribbled writing and lots of words crossed out. Hajime breaks away from him and steps over to them asking, “What's all this?” 

Oikawa gasps and runs to grab the papers away and shove them in a drawer. Hajime raises an eyebrow, “Want to tell me what that was?” 

“I'm uh working on something for your birthday and you can't see it yet!” 

Hajime is taken aback, “My birthday?” 

“Yeah!” The brunette shrugs, “your birthday is in a couple of weeks.” 

“But how did you-” 

He is shushed, “I do all my research Iwa-chan. No secret birthdays slipping by me!”

“What are all the papers for then?” 

Oikawa pretends like he doesn't know what he's talking about, “Hm? What papers?” He then sees a stray one in the corner of the room and proceeds to grab it and throw it in the drawer with the others. He looks back up at Hajime, “I don't see any papers.” 

A thought pops into Hajime's mind which makes him smile, “Are you writing a song for me?” 

The brunette's eyes widen for a second, then he just shrugs innocently, “I can't disclose that information Iwa. Confidential.” 

He laughs, “Is that so?” 

“Yep! Now come cuddle me idiot.”

-

Friday

When he wakes up, Hajime realizes that he's not in his own bedroom anymore. He looks around and spots Oikawa next to him. Shit. He accidentally fell asleep while at Oikawa's. Mother's gonna kill me. He sighs and checks his phone, prepared for a mountain of texts. However, he sees that there is only one. Not a million of them like last time. Only one.

It's from his mother. 

Mother 6:58am 

Hajime, get back home right now. We know your secret. Your father and I need to speak to you. Immediately. 

His heart sinks. No. No, no, no, no, no. 

They know.

Shit.

Chapter Text

Hajime anxiously steps inside the doorway and into the mansion half an hour later. It's eerily quiet as he enters, and he begins to wonder if his parents are even home. He strolls over to the intercom phone and presses it once. He hears a click from the other side, and then a voice. 

His mother. “Yes?” She answers. 

He gulps, “Mother, it's me.” 

There is silence for a second. “Ah, Hajime. You're home. Come upstairs to the lounge. Now.” 

There is another click; She's hung up on him. He sighs and heads up the stairs to the lounge, trying to keep his thumping heartbeat at bay. 

At the top of the stairs and to the right is the lounge. A large velvet couch sits at the back of the room, with a coffee table and two arm chairs across from it. In the chairs, sit his parents. His footsteps stop as he reaches the entrance to the room; as if his body is waiting for permission to enter. His mother stands, her hair slicked into a bun, and her lips pressed into a tight lipped smile. His father doesn't turn to look at him. “Hajime,” she says, “Take a seat.” 

Nodding, he slowly walks over to the couch. He sinks down onto the firm cushions and takes a deep breath, awaiting his fate. Then in his deep, thundering voice, his father says, “I warned you Hajime. I told you to keep a low profile. And what did you do?” 

He doesn't reply. 

His father pushes on, “You disobeyed me. And, you lied to me.” 

“Father I-” 

“Save it,” he holds out a hand to silence him. “When I questioned you about this boy,” he reaches across to the coffee table and holds up the picture of him and Oikawa at the coffee shop, “You said you didn't know him. But, you did, didn't you?” 

He sighs, “I-” 

“Yes or no, Hajime.” 

A chill shoots up his spine, “Yes.” 

The man nods, “Imagine my surprise when I realized that not only did you lie to me, but that every time you went out, you were sneaking around with this boy.” 

Hajime's eyes go wide, “What?” 

“Oh there's no point in trying to hide it, son. We know.” His father reaches across the table again and pulls out another printed out picture; Handing it to Hajime with a terrifying glint in his eyes. He takes the photo in his hands and gasps. The lighting is dim in the photo, but you can make out two figures on a bench. A street lamp shines down on the figures, illuminating them in the darkness of the picture. It's the night Hajime confessed to Oikawa. What. The actual. Fuck. 

His eyes snap up to meet his father’s in shock, He feels anger flood through his veins, “You- I! You followed me? I-” 

“I told you hanging around with low lives wouldn't look good for you.” 

“Don't call him that.” 

The man in front of him raises an eyebrow, “No need to get defensive. I'm trying to help you.” 

Hajime grits his teeth, “How would you possibly be helping me?” 

His father stares Down at him menacingly, “Can you imagine the repercussions of you getting caught in a scandal? Headlines everywhere. Our company would be in distress. Matter of fact, I don't know if we could trust you to be CEO.” 

His breathing hitches, “What?” 

“Imagine the CEO of the company is caught running around with a nameless musician with pennies to his name. You can't possibly think that's a good look do you?” 

Hajime's heart thumps in his chest, “What are you saying?” 

It's his mother's turn to speak, “We have an ultimatum for you.” 

His father nods, “If you don't end things with the boy, we will find someone else to hand the company down to.” 

What?

“Are you serious?” he asks, eyes begging that this isn't the truth. 

He's faced with intense stares and nods from both his parents. “Yes,” his father says, “Although it isn't ideal, we will find someone else if you can't meet our requirements.” 

Hajime barks out a laugh, “Requirements? I'm your son! Not a fucking employee!” 

“We just need to make sure that you won't put us in jeopardy. This company should always be your first priority.” 

His mother chimes in, “The choice is yours Hajime.” 

At first, Hajime's mind floods with the images of Oikawa. If he told him this, it would instantly burn all the good bridges he made with him over the last three months. But then, he thinks of his future. He doesn't know what his life with Oikawa would be; If they could last in the long run. And then he thinks of being CEO. It's all he's ever wanted right? The opportunity is sitting right in front of him on a silver platter. All his hopes, dreams and wishes since he was a kid. Shit. What should I do? 

But then, he hears his father's voice echo out one single sentence that makes him break. “You don't want to disappoint your family again, do you?” 

-

The very next night, Hajime takes a seat on the park bench, staring at the glowing city lights from afar. He sighs and pulls out his phone, dialing Oikawa's number. 

“Hello?” 

“Oikawa.” 

Oikawa sounds so happy from the other end, “Iwa! What's up?” 

He goes quiet for a moment, “Can you meet me at the park?” 

There's a pause, “I mean I guess, why?” 

Hajime bites down on his bottom lip anxiously, “We need to talk.” 

He can hear Oikawa moving around through the speaker, “I'll be there in five.” 

-

Hajime hears rapid footsteps approaching him and turns around to see Oikawa running towards him. He stands to greet him, and when he does, Oikawa all but flies into his arms. Hajime catches him, but then lets his arms drop down to his side. Oikawa looks at him confused, “What's going on? Are you okay? What happened?” 

Shaking his head, he gestures to the bench and has them take a seat. Oikawa frantically searches his face for answers, but Hajime can't bring himself to meet his eyes. He feels the singer's hand slide up to his, intertwining their fingers. Hajime pulls away at the touch, leaving Oikawa confused again. “Hajime, what's wrong?” 

Slowly, he raises his head to meet the brunette's eyes, “We need to end this. Whatever this is.” 

He's faced with a look of pure shock, “What? But why? I-I don't understand.” 

“They found us, Oikawa. My parents know about us.” 

The latter nods tentatively, “Okay, now what?” 

He sighs, “They'll never accept us being together. I'm sorry Oikawa.” 

“But… I love you.” 

Hajime looks at the man next to him tearily, “I'm sorry. I- I have no choice.” 

That sentence seems to make Oikawa tense up, his brows furrowed. “What do you mean you have no choice? You're a grown adult, you have free will.”

“It's not that simple Oikawa!” He shakes his head, “If I don't do what they ask they'll never let me lead the company one day. I'll be a failure again Oikawa.” 

The brunette looks down, “Is this what this whole thing is truly about? The company?”

Hajime doesn't answer him.

Oikawa shakes his head, “You're kidding me right? The company you can't stand?” 

Frustration begins to build in him, “You can't tell me how I feel about something.” 

The singer tuts, “When it's about this I think I can. Come on Hajime, I can tell you hate-”

Hajime angrily gets up off the bench and stands before him, “Don't you fucking dare tell me how I feel!”

Oikawa stands up to challenge him, “Oh I'm sorry that you complain about it every fucking time your work is brought up and I happen to pay attention to you when you speak!” 

“The company is my life. I have nowhere to go if I abandon it! It- It terrifies me, okay?!” 

The brunette takes a breath and reaches forward to take his hand, “Hajime, when I left home it was also terrifying. I had an easy, planned out life before, I did. But I left it all! To pursue my dreams, to pursue… what I love. Can't you see? You can do that too!” 

Hajime shakes his head vigorously and pulls his hand back, “No. You've got me all wrong. I am pursuing what I love. The business is my dream! Okay? Fuck Oikawa, why can't you just let me go?!” 

“Because I love you, you idiot!” 

“We were never meant to be Oikawa, face it.” 

He tries to turn, but Oikawa grabs his arm and forces him to look at him again, “Then why were we brought together like this Hajime?” 

And then, before he can think straight, he shouts, “BECAUSE IT WAS A MISTAKE!” 

The damage is immediate. Oikawa's look of anger and desperation is quickly replaced by a look of pure, unadulterated hurt. “How can you say that?” Oikawa's voice breaks, “Don't you love me?” 

Hajime feels instant regret, but the words are already out there. “Tooru…” 

“Do you?!”

He looks to the floor. Then, he tries to reach out to hold him, but Oikawa steps back, tears leaking down his face. “ANSWER ME HAJIME!” 

Hajime wants to shout it from the rooftops; paint it on the sky, but he knows he can't. If he says it, he might never be able to let go. And that's what they both need, right? He tells himself it's for the best. When he gets no response, Oikawa's mask seems to break. A sob is yanked out of him so loud that it makes Hajime's heart hurt. Then before he knows it, Oikawa is sprinting back to his apartment. 

Hajime closes his eyes, letting his tears finally drip down his cheeks.

Chapter Text

“He really just ended it? Just like that?” Makki asks, sitting cross-legged on Oikawa's rug next to the bed. 

Mattsun shakes his head, sitting down onto the mattress next to Oikawa, “What was his explanation?” 

The brunette doesn't answer him at first, staring up at the ceiling blankly. “He doesn't love me.” 

Oikawa hears Makki gasp, “That asshole!” 

Mattsun shushes Makki, “He actually said that?” 

“He didn't have to,” he says numbly, “I asked him if he loved me, he didn't reply. That's enough of an answer.” 

He can't see it happen but he can tell that Makki and Mattsun are sharing pending glances. “Oikawa, maybe we're jumping to conclusions here,” Mattsun says

Oikawa's eyes snap up to meet the other's, “He told me I was a mistake Mattsun! You guys don't get it!” He sighs and dives under the blankets, curling himself up in a ball. 

After a few minutes of tense silence, Makki clears his throat, “How about we go and get you some ice cream? Y'know, eat your feelings.” 

He feels Mattsun give him a pat on the shoulder as he rises from the bed and heads to the door with Makki. “We'll be back in twenty.” 

The door closes softly. 

And then, Oikawa is alone. He sits up in bed, leaning his head back against the wall. The coolness of the surface radiates through his scalp as he lets out a sigh that cuts through the silence. He pulls out his phone and notices that his messages app is still open. Truthfully, he doesn't text a lot of people. Normally, only his friend's numbers pop up when he opens the app. However, under Makki and Mattsun's numbers is a different contact. 

Iwa-chan :)

The same Iwa-chan who wasn't his anymore. Who didn't want to be his anymore. Who might not have even been his to begin with. The same man who told him he was a mistake; That he didn't love him anymore. 

Feeling anger flood through him at the sight of the name, Oikawa angrily tosses his phone off the bed and onto the rug and it hits the floor with a dull thud. He looks around, feeling the memory of Hajime's presence begin to creep up on him. Suddenly, he can still see where Hajime had sat on the bed with him; Made him feel like he was the most important thing in the world. Now he feels like nothing. He gets up angrily, trying to get away from imaginary Hajime and storms around his apartment. Oikawa feels like he's burning. He feels himself go to his cabinets. He hears the smashing of glass. He hears his nightstands crashing to the floor. He feels the contents of the drawers spilling out onto the floor around his feet. He feels himself sit down on the floor. He hears himself start to cry. 

The door swings open again. 

He can see two men through watery, blurry vision. 

“Shit!” one of them says. 

-

Oikawa leans against his bed from the floor, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Makki is cleaning up the broken glass, Mattsun is trying to help organize all of Oikawa's fallen belongings. He feels disgusting. In his peripheral vision, he sees Mattsun hold up a few sheets of paper in front of him. “Here,” he says. 

He takes them and gives them a once over. As he scans the papers he sees familiar verses and vibrant images of possibilities he thought could have been real. He feels the emotions he felt while writing. He remembers what it was like to feel like that. Oikawa laughs bitterly and pushes them back to Mattsun, “I don't want it anymore.” 

The dark haired man raises an eyebrow in concern, “Why? You were so proud of this one.” 

He shrugs and looks away. “There's no one to dedicate it to anymore,” he scoffs, “couldn't even make it to his birthday. Unbelievable.” 

Makki looks over at the two of them and gives Mattsun a look of worry before continuing to sweep glass shards into a dustpan. 

Mattsun reads over the lyrics quietly before folding up the crumpled sheets of paper and neatly setting them back in the drawer of Oikawa's nightstand. He sighs and pats him lightly on the shoulder, “Then don't perform it. Don't sing it. Don't even look at it. But just…keep it. One day, you might be grateful you did.”

He looks down at the floor, “Why? So that I can always remember the man who broke my heart after years of trying to open up again?”

Makki walks over and sits down next to them, “Because one day, your fans might thank you for it.” 

Oikawa laughs, “My fans?” 

“Yep,” Mattsun says, “believe it or not, you have talent.” 

He feels tears well up in his eyes again, but for a different reason this time, “Thanks.” 

“Ugh stop being so mushy, dumbasses. You're gonna make me cry too.” 

“Makki, you're already crying and you know it.” 

“I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!” 

-

A couple weeks later, Oikawa lies in the dark on his bed, eating from one of the many pints of ice cream Makki and Mattsun had bought him. Oikawa takes in a spoonful of ice cream and leans back against the pillows. He looks over at the calendar hanging on his wall. It's Wednesday. He sighs and places his spoon back into the tub of ice cream. For the past two weeks, he's avoided Hajime at all costs. Normally, he would have seen him today at the market. Wednesday used to be his favourite day of the week.

He leans over and opens up the drawer to his nightstand and pulls out the stack of folded papers. Oikawa flips through the pages and feels emptiness creep through him. He wrote this song for Hajime. The lyrics were meant for him to hear. His hands grip the papers tightly. Quickly, he shoves them back in the drawer before he has the impulse to rip them in half. 

“One day your fans might thank you.” 

What was Makki talking about? He doesn't have fans. Even if he did, why would they want to hear this song? It's a song dedicated to someone who doesn't love him and probably never did. It's a direct letter to him. How pathetic. 

He groans, trying to figure out what to do. The words trace themselves over and over again in his mind. 

“Your fans.” 

“Your fans.” 

“Your fans.” 

Oikawa reaches over and grabs a pen and his notebook. He knows what he wants to do. 

I'll write a song that people will actually listen to. One a person can relate to. One that my fans will thank me for. 

Chapter Text

Five years later…

Hajime sits at his desk in quiet solitude, twirling the pen between his fingers. Rays of sun pierce through the sheer curtains and onto his face, making him squint. He sighs and closes his eyes, leaning back and enjoying the quiet hum of the air conditioner. Then out of nowhere, there is a knock on the door. He straightens up and braces for who it could be. However, he is faced with his assistant Kazumi instead. She stands there with her tablet in her hands and tilts her head at him. “Iwaizumi-san?”

He nods at her, “Yes?” 

She steps into the room and says, “I'm trying to organize the calendar so we know what to expect as we head into the summer.”

Hajime nods again, urging her to continue.

“And I was wondering if you still plan on going on that business collaboration trip we have planned with the Kuroo family that you agreed to go on this month.”

Oh. He totally forgot about that. “Yes,” he says slowly, “I'll go.” 

She nods and taps on some buttons on her tablet, “Perfect, I'll make a phone call and let them know you're still on board to go.” and with that, she turns on her heels and leaves the room, gently closing the door behind her. 

Once she leaves, he exhales and falls back into his chair.

-

A few hours later, Hajime is getting ready for dinner when he receives a call from Kazumi to tell him that his mother is already waiting for him in the car. He thanks her, hangs up the phone and quickly hurries downstairs to meet her. As he climbs into the car and settles into the leather seats, she says, “So I hear you are still going on that trip right?” 

“Yeah,” he says. 

She hums, “That means you'll be traveling with a member from their company as well. I know you don't do well with opening up to new people.” 

Hajime feels the words bring out bittersweet memories that he thought he had stashed away, yet were probably always there anyway. “I know,” he responds. 

His mother looks out the window thoughtfully, “You've met Kuroo Tetsuro haven't you?” 

Kuroo Tetsuro. The charismatic son of the CEO of their newest collaboration partner. “Yes,” he says, “I believe we met a couple times last year.” 

She turns her focus back to him, “It'll be nice for you to have some company from someone other than our employees. And Tetsuro is the perfect person for that.” His mother smiles fondly, “That boy is the perfect influence for you Hajime. Optimistic, top of his class, sociable, a real hit with ladies. You could pick up a thing or two from him.” 

Hajime notices how his mother's eyes light up from the thought of him and feels a pit open up in his stomach. He doesn't comment on it, nor does he remind her that he doesn't want or need to be popular with girls. Instead, he just sits there and nods silently, wishing that he could be anyone else. He's the son she really wants, and he's nothing like me. 

-

Two weeks later, he finds himself packed into a luxury car next to the man himself, Kuroo Tetsuro. He sits next to Hajime, stretched out in his seat, his spiky black hair looking like he either purposely styled it that way, or just rolled out of bed. The blazer that once sat around his shoulders has been haphazardly thrown onto the seat between himself and Hajime; His tie hangs loosely off his neck, the button of his collar not even done up. Hajime looks at him, bewildered at how he looks so relaxed after being sat next to a stranger he's only met maybe two times before in his life. He shrugs and looks away from Kuroo, focusing on the busy streets of Tokyo outside the car window when he suddenly hears some rustling from beside him. He looks over and to his shock, Kuroo is ripping open a bag of sour candy. The man sees Hajime giving him a look and asks, “Want one?” This guy can't be serious right now. 

“No,” he says, “We're on our way to an interview.” 

Kuroo raises an eyebrow, “And?” 

“And I'm trying to calm myself before it happens. I can't relax after eating handfuls of sugar.” 

He shrugs at him and sticks his hand back in the bag of candy, “I don't know man, it works for me.” 

Hajime rolls his eyes and sits quietly as the car pulls through the busy streets. When it finally comes to a stop, he takes a deep breath and smoothes his blazer. To his amazement, when he looks over at Kuroo, the man has suddenly become very sleek. His blazer is smoothed out and hangs nicely off his shoulders, his collar is buttoned, and his necktie is tightened neatly around his neck. Not to mention, his bag of candy has magically disappeared. Kuroo laughs at his reaction, “Just because I like to be comfy doesn't mean I can't clean up!” 

Hajime shakes his head in disbelief, “I never doubted you.” 

He hears the other laugh again as they climb out of the car. 

-

As they sit through the interview, Hajime recalls what his mother told him a few weeks ago. And to be honest, she's right about Kuroo. He's smart, charming, professional, and Hajime's pretty sure he saw some of the female employees drooling over him from behind the camera. However, once they leave and get back into the car, Kuroo's blazer is chucked off once again and he yanks off his tie with a tired sigh. Hajime raises an eyebrow, slightly amused, “Is that all a persona for the camera then? I've never seen someone switch up so fast.” 

Kuroo laughs and nods, “I guess you could say that. Trust me, my dad would kill me if I acted like I truly am in the public eye.” 

He nods as Kuroo continues, “I mean, he always says he wants me to be “professional” but I'm starting to think that his idea of professional is boring and uptight.” He takes out his bag of sour candy again and opens it up again, “He doesn't even like me eating this! He's always like “What are you? A child?” and honestly, sometimes I wish I was if it meant I could eat whatever sugary crap I want and not get scolded for it. Let a man live!” Kuroo takes a deep breath, realizing he just went on a rant, “Sorry, too much?” 

Hajime thinks about what he just said, suddenly feeling a little lighter. “Nah.” 

Kuroo smiles and holds out his bag of candy, “Want one now that the interview is over?” 

He laughs, “Sure.” 

As they pull away, and the candy melts in his mouth, he starts to think that Kuroo was right about candy being calming. 

-

After a few days of travel, Hajime and Kuroo arrive in Osaka for a business meeting with some other collaborators. As they unpack their things in the hotel, Kuroo suddenly yells, “YES!” 

Hajime turns around startled and stares at him, “What?” 

Kuroo jumps up and down excitedly, “I just got free tickets to a concert tonight! And you're coming with me!” 

“No I'm not.” 

“Yes you are!”

“No I'm not.” 

“You are.” 

“No-”

“YOU ARE!”

He flinches and rolls his eyes, “How did you even get the tickets and why should I go?” 

Kuroo hesitates for a moment, as if considering whether or not to tell him. Finally he sighs, “My boyfriend is the pianist for the artist performing and he got me the tickets. I really want to go and support him and I thought it would be fun to get away from work.” 

Hajime freezes, hung up on one detail, “Your boyfri-” 

“You cannot tell anyone. Please,” Kuroo says urgently. 

He nods reassuringly, “Don't worry. I won't, I promise.” 

The taller man breathes out a sigh of relief, “Thank God.” 

“Does…no one else know?” 

Kuroo scratches the back of his neck, “Only one or two of my friends, and definitely not my parents. I don't know what would happen if they found out… if the public found out…”

“Yeah,” he says, “Been there.” 

The other sighs and turns his attention back to the subject at hand, “So you'll go to the show with me? I think you could use a breather anyway.” 

Hajime thinks about it for a moment, almost saying no but then remembering that look on Kuroo's face. That look of fear vulnerability. He remembers feeling that all too. 

Kuroo Tetsuro is more like him than he thought.

“Fine, I'll go.” 

-

Kuroo's practically buzzing as they hop into the car on the way to the venue. He grips the steering wheel excitedly, waiting for the light to turn green. “So,” Hajime says, “Tell me about your boyfriend. What's his name?” 

Kuroo smiles at even the mention of him, “His name's Kenma. Kozume Kenma. We met during high school, didn't speak to each other for a few years and then met again during university. I was figuring myself out at the time and realized I had feelings for him. Then I asked him out around two years ago and we’ve been together…” he pauses, “..ever since.”

Hajime looks at him, “What?” 

“I just…feel terrible about it having to be a..” 

“A secret?” 

He sighs, “Yeah.” 

Memories run through Hajime's brain. 

Of a brown eyed, brown haired someone.

“Don't worry, I'm good at secrets.”

He pushes the thoughts away and turns his attention back to Kuroo who takes a deep breath and says, “We're here.” 

Looking out the window, he gasps at the size of the venue. The stage is outdoors; The streets are flooded with fans, running to get to the entrances. He and Kuroo walk up to the vip gate around the back of the venue where Kuroo whips out their tickets. The security guard points to the section and ushers them inside. Once they sit down, Hajime nudges Kuroo, “Holy shit, how did Kenma just happen to find this person?” 

The other laughs, “He met him at an event and they became friends. The guy then offered Kenma to be his pianist! How cool is that?” 

“Oh by the way,” Hajime says, “Who is this we're seeing? I don't think you told me.” 

“Oh!” Kuroo exclaims, “My bad! It's Oikawa-” 

“Tooru?” 

Hajime's eyes are drawn to a projection of a picture of the artist, his name edited above him in big, teal letters. Oikawa Tooru.

“Yeah!” Kuroo nods, “You've heard of him, haven't you?” 

He doesn't turn to look at the man next to him, his eyes glued to the image of the brunette on the screen. 

“Iwaizumi?”

He swallows hard, refusing to look at Kuroo, “He was the love of my life.” 

Chapter Text

Hajime can't move. He can't breathe. His eyes just stay glued to the teal glow of the screen. Next to him, he hears Kuroo gasp, “What?” 

Suddenly, music starts blasting from the speakers, the concert is starting. The crowd roars as pictures of Oikawa start flashing across the screen. Hajime feels like he's going to pass out.. The crowd roars as the flashing images come to a halt, and a platform in the middle of the stage begins to rise. His heart rate accelerates as he sees the singer appear. Then, the platform stops and a spotlight lands on the brunette. He looks up at the crowd and says with a big smile on his face, “Yoohoo!” The crowd goes wild as Oikawa steps off of the platform and walks down to center stage. He whips out his phone and turns to take a selfie with the crowd, sticking out his tongue and holding his hand out in a peace sign. He spreads his arms out wide and yells, “Hello, Osaka!” The crowd roars again. He laughs and asks, “How are we all feeling tonight?” 

As the crowd continues to respond enthusiastically to Oikawa, Hajime takes a moment to fully take in the sight of him. His brown hair still sits on his head in the same swoopy haircut as before, caramel eyes shining in the light. He’s wearing a pastel, teal long sleeve button up with the sleeves rolled up; A cream sweater vest thrown over top that complements his beige coloured pants. He looks more confident than Hajime had last seen him, and just as, if not more beautiful. His heart aches as he looks at him, thinking about the man he once knew. 

Kuroo turns to him and whispers, “Are you okay? Do you want to leave?”, eyes filled with worry. 

He does. He really does. However, Kuroo drove him and he would hate to make him miss his boyfriend's performance. “Don’t worry about me,” he says, “I’ll be fine for a couple of hours.” 

The other nods hesitantly before turning his attention back to the stage. Music starts pumping through the speakers again as the first song begins. Hajime takes a deep breath as Oikawa starts to sing. As his voice fills his ears, he is reminded of the night Oikawa played for him in his apartment. He closes his eyes, thinking of the golden glow that was cast on the singer's face that night, and how peaceful he looked. When he opens his eyes again, he turns to look at Kuroo who is happily watching Kenma on the piano, and Kenma only. Hajime looks back up at Oikawa, who is so close to him, yet still so far away. 

Song after song passes by, all of which keep bruising parts of Hajime's heart that he had tucked away the memory of for years now. After one of the songs, Hajime spots Oikawa wandering to the piano. He watches as the singer gently leans against the frame of the instrument as he chats inaudibly to Kenma. During their exchange, he sees Oikawa glance at the audience before turning back to the pianist. Then, Kenma discreetly points over to where Kuroo and Hajime are, pointing out where his boyfriend is sitting. Kuroo looks up at Kenma fondly and winks at him, receiving a smile and a wink back. Oikawa looks over to where Kenma pointed, and seems to have spotted Kuroo. Hajime panics trying to look away from the stage, but it’s too late. When he looks back up, Oikawa is staring at him, looking as pale as his cream coloured vest. 

Time seems to freeze as they stare at each other wordlessly; Oikawa looking like he is piecing together memories that had been stored away in a dark corner of his mind. The singer turns back to face the crowd. He sings through more of his setlist, but Hajime can tell that from that moment on, he is distracted. Oikawa keeps subtly glancing in his direction and his eyes look more cold than they were mere minutes ago, though his bright smile stays true. As the music from the final song plays out, an eruption of cheers echo from the crowd. Oikawa stands on the platform where he first appeared and waves to the audience as he is swallowed up by the stage. 

Kuroo stands up, pulling his keys out of his pocket and says, “I’m going to go backstage and see Kenma, do you want to come with me or wait in the car?” 

His first instinct is to grab those keys and sprint as fast as he can, but then this one gnawing thought enters his brain. Maybe he won’t even see him. Or maybe, he might be able to talk to him. Hajime sighs, “No, I’ll come. I want to meet Kozume-Kun.” 

His spikey black haired friend looks at him for a moment and nods, “Okay then. Let’s go.” 

They quickly make their way around the back of the building, where a security guard stands. Kuroo flashes the VIP guest badge on his lanyard and prompts Hajime to do the same. As they enter the backstage area, a small framed man with dark, caramel dyed hair approaches the two of them. The man, who Hajime recognizes as the pianist and Kuroo's boyfriend, hurries over and gently wraps his arms around Kuroo tightly. Kuroo laughs, pulling back to look at him, “You did fantastic. I only saw you.” 

Kenma blushes and rolls his eyes playfully, “You're biased Kuro.” 

Remembering Hajime's presence, Kuroo clears his throat, “Ken, this is Iwaizumi. He's working on the business collab with me, remember?” 

“Ah yes,” Kenma says, addressing Hajime, “Nice to meet you. I apologize that Kuro dragged you here after a long day.”

Hajime shakes his head, “It's no big deal, actually I-” 

“Ken-Chan!” A boisterous voice calls out, “Have you seen my water bot-” 

The singer stops in his tracks when he sees Hajime and Kuroo. Oikawa quickly diverts his gaze from Hajime at first, introducing himself to Kuroo. After a couple minutes, Kuroo pulls Kenma aside to tell him something, leaving Hajime alone with Oikawa. The brunette slowly moves his gaze up to meet Hajime's, greeting him with a small, hesitant smile. “Hajime.”

He feels warmth pool into his chest, “Oikawa.” They stare at each other, both unsure of what to say or do. “So,” Hajime starts, “It's…been a while.” 

A glimpse of sadness flickers over Oikawa's expression, “It sure has been.” 

Hajime gestures at the venue, “You've really made a name for yourself huh?”  

“I guess I have,” the singer laughs. Hajime's heart jolts. He missed that laugh. 

They look back into each other's eyes, the laughter fading away and a look of disbelief, happiness, and fear washes over Oikawa. He breaks eye contact and looks at the floor awkwardly, Hajime following suit. Hajime hesitantly begins to speak, “Oikawa I-” 

When a dull voice cuts him off, “It's in your dressing room.”

Both pairs of eyes snap up and whip around to look at Kenma. “What?” Oikawa asks. 

“Suzuki-San put your water bottle in your dressing room since you carelessly left it on the floor,” Kenma clarifies. 

Hajime glances at Oikawa who looks instantly relieved for a way out, “Oh! Thanks Ken-Chan! I totally forgot I asked you that!”

 As he turns on his heel to leave, Hajime blurts out, “Tooru wait!” 

Oikawa freezes, turning around in surprise. His expression softens slightly as he sighs and whispers, “Hajime, if you want to talk, come to my show tomorrow night. We can discuss…” he gestures between the two of them, “this then, okay?” 

And with that, Oikawa sprints off to his dressing room. Hajime watches him walk away, eyes wide and processing the information thrown at him. A large hand on his shoulder snaps him out of it as Kuroo says, “I said bye to Kenma already, c’mon let's go.” 

Kuroo steers Hajime out of the venue, only releasing his shoulder once they make it to the slightly less crowded section of the street. He looks down at Hajime and asks, “Want to tell me what your whole deal with Oikawa is?” 

As they reach Kuroo's car, Hajime pauses at the door and says, “How long have you got?” 

Chapter Text

The morning arrives quicker than he hopes. After the awkward, tense encounter with Oikawa, he now has to decide if he's going to attend the show later in the evening. He sighs, falling back into his bed with a thump. The door to the bathroom suddenly swings open and Kuroo walks out, towel drying his hair. “Hey,” he says casually, crossing to the coffee maker in their hotel room. Silence stretches between them as Hajime doesn't reply. Kuroo continues fiddling with the coffee machine, putting his mug under the pour spout. As he waits he turns around to look at Hajime. “Are you still pondering your life decisions?” He says, only half jokingly. 

Hajime runs his hand through his hair, staring up at the ceiling, “Yeah. You could say that.” 

The coffee maker beeps, and Kuroo turns his attention back to that, leaving Hajime with his thoughts for another moment. Truthfully, Kuroo is absolutely right. He's thinking about all the choices he's made leading up to this point. Things regarding himself, the company, Oikawa - definitely Oikawa. Maybe things would've been easier if he didn't come backstage with Kuroo. Maybe it would have been less mentally exhausting for him if he just went to the car. Except, part of him feels glad he went, glad he spoke to Oikawa. Glad that he has a chance to talk to him again. Everything is so confusing.

Kuroo, coffee in hand, comes walking over to a lounge chair by the window. As he sits down, he sighs, “I know it's rough, but what would be the harm in going tonight? Things can't really get worse can they?”

He scoffs and sits up in bed, looking Kuroo in the eye, “Did the rundown I gave you of me and Kawa's relationship not teach you that things between me and him can always get worse?” 

The other man laughs, taking a sip of his coffee, “I guess you're right, but where's the fun in guessing what could happen?” 

Hajime goes silent for a moment, considering the other's words. 

Kuroo shrugs, “You never know unless you try.” 

-

The two arrive at the concert near the end of the show because of a scheduling conflict, using their new vip badges to get them into their seats. As they sit, Hajime's eyes become instantly glued to Oikawa. The singer is dressed in an emerald green dress shirt and black pants that show off the curves of his thighs. It's actually unbelievable how Oikawa gets more and more gorgeous every time Hajime sees him, but here they are. Oikawa leans back to belt out a note as the last note of the current song plays out, the crowd going ballistic the moment he finishes. He sees the brunette smile at the audience before looking around the crowd with a slightly disappointed look in his eyes. However, that look quickly dissipates as his eyes land on Hajime. Oikawa's eyes go wide for a moment before he flashes him a small, hesitant smile, which he returns. 

About 15 minutes later, the concert comes to an end. As the fans begin to exit just like the previous night, Hajime and Kuroo slowly rise from their seats and head around the back. With the help of their badges, the guard lets them in without any issues. They lean against the wall of the backstage hallway as they wait. Kuroo nudges him, “How are you feeling?” 

He shakes his head, “Nervous. I don't know how tonight will end.” 

“Just try to relax man,” the other says, “It'll be more awkward if you're both anxious and tense.” 

Hajime nods along, leaning his head back against the wall, “What about you? Are you excited to see Kenma?” 

Kuroo looks down and smiles, “Yeah, I am,” but then he sighs and scratches the back of his neck, “I'll probably only see him for a few minutes to say hello though.”

He looks at him curiously, “Don't you ever spend the night? You've been together two years haven't you?” 

The taller man doesn't look up to meet his eyes, “Only when we're back home in Tokyo,” he pauses, “Any other time is…too risky.” 

Hajime looks up at the lighting fixtures on the ceiling. “Cause you guys are secret?” He asks quietly. 

Kuroo barely nods, “Yeah… we are.” For a few moments, it is quiet between them. Kuroo shakes his head slightly and continues, “I don't know man, I feel-”

Just at that moment, they hear a soft voice call out, “Kuro.” 

In the blink of an eye, the somber look on Kuroo's face is gone, replaced by a smile. “Hey Ken,” he says, taking the smaller man into his arms, “You were great.” Kenma leans into him with a soft sigh, allowing Kuroo to stroke his hair as he whispers more compliments into his ear. The couple walks a bit further away to chat for a bit, leaving Hajime by himself. Part of him starts to worry that Oikawa isn't coming as he waits, but he tells himself to be patient.

It proves to have paid off as he hears a door swing open and loud footsteps coming towards him. Out comes Oikawa in a pair of blue jeans and a white shirt with a denim jacket. His hair is slightly messy, but his eyes are bright. He comes up to Hajime and smiles softly, “Hey.” 

“Hey,” he says back. 

Oikawa looks down at the floor. “I was starting to think you weren't coming,” he says in a small voice.

Hajime feels a twinge of sadness at his tone, having heard it many times before. “Well I came didn't I?” He says. 

The singer meets his eyes with a slight grin, “I guess you did.” 

His heart jumps in his chest. He averts the other man's gaze and says, “So, you wanted to talk?” 

“Yes, but not here,” he nods towards the exit, “Follow me.” 

Hajime raises an eyebrow, looking from the brunette, to Kuroo and Kenma. The couple that was just being lovey dovey a few moments ago are now in a hushed discussion, Kuroo grabbing the other's hand and mouthing something urgent to the other. Kenma however, looks displeased, shaking his head and murmuring something else with a tired expression. Hajime turns back to Oikawa and nods, hoping Kuroo won't mind his sudden departure. 

-

The two of them make their way down to the underground parking garage where Oikawa's car is parked; shiny and blue, and very Oikawa. As they climb inside, Hajime asks, “Where are we going?” 

“You'll see.” Oikawa leans over to Hajime's side of the car and opens the glove box. Inside, he pulls out two baseball caps. He tosses one to Hajime, putting one on himself. “Just in case,” he says before he starts the car. 

As they pull out of the parking garage and into the illuminated streets of Osaka, Hajime's mind begins to run a million miles an hour. It's a lot to take in. Two days ago, he didn't know if he'd ever see Oikawa again, and now he's sitting in the passenger seat of his car. What the hell. 

Oikawa turns a corner, taking them further away from the city center. Hajime glances at him in confusion but doesn't comment. Turns out he didn't need to since maybe 5 minutes later, they are parked outside a quaint hole in the wall restaurant. The singer smiles, “This place is possibly the most hidden gem in Osaka. Come on!” 

They climb out of the car and walk in, taking a seat at the tall, bar-like table. Hajime looks around, noticing that they are the only customers, which makes sense for such an out of the way restaurant. Oikawa leans over the counter at the old woman behind it and smiles brightly at her, “Hey, Kimura-San! I'm back!” 

Her gaze softens at the sight of him, “Ah, it's good to see you Oikawa-kun! My favourite customer.” 

He laughs, “Glad to hear it.” 

She turns her attention to Hajime, “Oh, and hello there!”

Hajime nods at her politely, “Iwaizumi, nice to meet you.” 

Mrs. Kimura smiles, “What can I get you two?” 

“It's his first time Kimura-San, how about you surprise us!” the singer says cheerfully. 

She nods happily and gets to work. Hajime turns to Oikawa, “You come here a lot?” 

“I try to stop by at least three times whenever I'm in Osaka,” he replies, “Found this place one evening on my first time here a few years ago and fell in love. I've been coming here ever since.”

Hajime sighs, remembering all the years they didn't speak, “Wow, time flies.” 

Brown, doe eyes stare into his, “It sure does.”

He clears his throat, “Things have changed a lot since I last saw you, huh?” 

Oikawa goes quiet, then says, “Well a lot of things can change in five years Iwa-ch- Hajime.” Hajime's eyebrows shoot up at the nickname. He hasn't heard that for years. The singer promptly refuses eye contact, staring up at the ceiling. Hajime follows suit, looking up as well. No one says anything for a couple minutes until Oikawa whispers, “I didn't know if I would ever see you again.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

Hajime pauses for a moment, then turns to look at him, “And would it have been a good thing or a bad thing if you did?” 

The brunette meets his eyes, “Depends on if you would be happy to see me.” 

“I am happy to see you,” he says instantly. 

Oikawa looks surprised for a moment, but then it melts away into a smile, “Well then, you have my answer.” 

Their food arrives in front of them in lightning speed, both of them thanking Mrs. Kimura before digging in. As they spend the next hour slowly catching up and talking about life, a warm feeling brews inside of Hajime's chest; One he hasn't felt in ages. After they finish up at the restaurant, Oikawa pays, claiming it's his treat, and they slip back into the car. 

“That was nice,” Hajime says, “You were right about that being a hidden gem.” 

Oikawa smiles, “Of course I was, I have fantastic judgement.” 

He scoffs and leans back against the seat, “Ah, there's the Oikawa I know, cocky as hell.” 

The singer gasps in mock hurt, “Wow, Hajime. Rude, much?” 

They continue to drive through the sea of city lights, the glow from them illuminating Oikawa's face in the darkness. Hajime looks at him thoughtfully, taking him in. He's so beautiful it hurts. 

“Hey,” he says after a bit of prolonged silence, “I enjoyed tonight.” 

Oikawa hums, “Me too.” They hit a red light. Topaz eyes lock in on his, “Y'know, I don't want us to be weird forever.” 

“I don't want that either.” 

“So what do you want to do?” 

Hajime sighs, looking out the window, then back at him, “Friends?” 

The look on Oikawa's face is hard to decode. He can almost make out a flash of something across his expression but he can't tell what. “Friends,” he says back. 

Oikawa pulls up across the street from Hajime's hotel to let him out of the car. As he parks, Hajime asks, “When can I see you again?” 

“How long are you in Osaka?” 

He thinks about it for a moment before answering, “Four more days.” 

“Well, then I guess you have a couple more chances. I have to leave for Yokohama in two days.” 

Hajime blinks a few times, “Yokohama?” 

“Yes?” 

“Me and Kuroo have to go there next too.” 

Oikawa grins, “Then I guess you'll be seeing a lot more of me. If that's what you want.” 

Hajime rolls his eyes playfully, “I don't know, I'll have to think about it.” 

“Get out.” 

They both laugh as Hajime opens the door to the car and steps out into the cool air. “Have a goodnight," he says.

Oikawa smiles at him softly, “You too.” 

Hajime watches as the vehicle pulls away, suddenly feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders.