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Chapter Text

Tsukasa was honestly unnerved when he received a letter of invitation to Aoyagi residence. Maidens would go around Willow Hill rather than go uphill to fetch produce, fishermen would never dare to put their hooks in the water on the beach near the hill on which the residence stands. Rare spinsters that lived in a village nearby would clench their silver crosses and mutter scriptures while passing by. Every town has a tall tale about witches and demons, but everyone around these places was convinced that the Aoyagi residence was haunted. Boys from a nearby town were spinning tall tales about white silhouettes on the beach at night, preachers at the small church in the village would feed the townsfolk their recollection of seeing tall shadows in the windows of the mansion, of ghostly winds, whispers, and taunts that can be heard by the poor soul that would find itself near the hill at night. And that only God can save the damned from the heresy up on the hill. There scarcely was any light in the windows at night and the townsfolk rarely saw the owner. Some thought him to be a wealthy landowner from overseas, where he killed and robbed for his fortune and now the ghosts of his deeds haunt him at night. Some thought him to be a witcher who guards his home from intruders by summoning dark spirits.

Tsukasa wasn’t afraid of tall tales and haunted houses. But he was a sensible man. With a vial of holy water in his breast pocket and a bag full of sheet music, he set off to the mansion. The letter sent to him stated there was a young master who would benefit from Tsukasa’s piano playing and that the compensation would be generous and plentiful. And, after sickness took his mother and sister, and after the church kicked him out, generous and plentiful compensation was everything that Tsukasa could ask for. Playing music for ghosts be damned.

With a shaky hand, he knocked on a giant wooden door. The entrance had the family name carved into oak doors, with gorgeous willows supporting the weight of elaborate letters. Golden accents on birds’ wings made Tsukasa feel unexpectedly small.

The door creaked and a small fair-haired girl popped up on the other side. She was just about smaller than Tsukasa, holding a big lantern and the skirts of her maid dress in slender hands.

“Sir Tenma, we were expecting you. Please, come after me”, the little maid let him in, holding a heavy door with unexpected strength. Trailing after her, Tsukasa was trying to take in the mansion as far as his eyes let him in the dimness of the rooms. Only the lantern in the maid’s hand was illuminating the way, light playing in the reflections of golden paperweights, glass vases, and dusty mirrors. The windows were closed shut with heavy drapery and red velvet curtains. With his eyes tired from dimness, Tsukasa turned his gaze to a maid, strutting in front of him. Her two pigtails were bouncing with each step and it put a needle through Tsukasa’s heart. His sister’s pigtails used to jump like this when they used to play tag around their old shabby house. And they were almost the same color during her last days on God’s Earth.

After taking him through endless stairways and corridors, the maid finally stopped in front of the small dark wooden door. She rummaged under her apron, found a small copper key, and opened the door.

“These are your rooms, Sir.”

Oh, thank the Lord. There was a window. And the light. And even the bed with fresh linen and the clothes were laid neatly next to a pillow.

“Here is the key, I have the spare one to attend after your place, so call for me anytime.
I will be happy to assist”, the little maid curtsied, still holding a giant lantern in her arm.

“What is your name?” Tsukasa put a key next to the vial in his breast pocket. He felt sick for making a young maiden cater to him when nothing put them apart in status or name.

“Kohane, Sir”, she curtsied again, eyes downcast.

“Well, my name is Tsukasa, so, please, address me as such, will you? I’m not a lord and not a mister”

“Understood, Sir, Tukasa”, she looked him in the eyes now, “but if the young master will be displeased, I cannot abide him. Please, understand.”

“I wouldn’t want to anger him as well now!” Tsukasa smiled, but immediately lowered his voice, “Say, Kohane, isn’t your young master a ghost by chance?”

Tsukasa didn’t expect this reaction from the maiden. A smile or a stern look, maybe. But, no. Kohane lowered her head and sighed:

“No, young master is flesh and blood”, then she almost whispered, “Even if sometimes, Heaven knows, he feels like a ghost…”

Then, after it seemed her words caught up to her, she perked up, eyes wide. Heavy lantern almost fell to the ground.

“You will rest now, wash your face in the basin, and change your clothes. The young master will be alerted of your arrival. When you will be of service to him, I will call for you”, Kohane stood up straight and was about to take off, “Servants eat together in the kitchen down the hall downstairs. I will be here by suppertime to show you the way”

And with that, she and her bright lantern took off into the darkness of endless corridors.

Tsukasa was left alone in his room. It was much more pleasant than the dingy basement of the butcher’s place that he's stayed at for the last fortnight. The basin was clean and he even had a mirror. He could even take four large steps to cross his room from one corner to the other. And, at last, no mice to chew through his sheet music.

When the sun came down, Kohane returned, as promised. She led him through corridors and pathways that felt endless. Tsukasa tried to memorize the way, but his mind was giving up - he hadn't eaten in two days and was praying for a hearty meal, or at least for another face. God knows he started to think Kohane was a mirage before his demise. Maybe, she’s Lady Death with her ever-glowing lantern, already leading him into Heaven.

But she finally opened the door behind the stairway and Tsukasa was almost knocked out of his socks by the heat. This was the biggest kitchen he had ever seen. Everything was shiny and polished, copper pots and pans gleaming in the light of the giant fireplace and the stove. Tables in the middle were full of all kinds of pottery, silverware was shining so bright in the darkness, and rows and rows of cutlery were on the walls. Pots on the stove were sizzling with meat, soups, and roasted potatoes, and everything smelled heavenly. It has been many moons since Tsukasa smelled anything this appetizing. He leaned on the door and closed his eyes.

“Hey, piano man! Come here, no drafts in my kitchen!”, a tall, hardy girl with red cheeks stood up from her place and closed the door shut behind Tsukasa. She was just as tall as him, her shirt was bunched up at the elbows and heavy biceps made Tsukasa tremble with intimidation. The girl laughed and slapped him on the shoulder:

“C'mon now, don’t stand there all lost! I made meat dumplings, Kohane’s favorite! Be a guest, will ya?”

There was no need to tell Tsukasa twice. He trailed behind a girl. Kohane was already loading her plate from a giant pot. Two dozen fresh dumplings were floating in rich, mouth-watering broth.

“Take a plate now, piano man," the girl sat next to Kohane, cleaning her hands on an apron, “Or eat right out of the pot, I don’t mind! We will be eating together for a long time now, don’t take us as strangers!”

Tsukasa found a bowl behind him in the drawer, fetched a silver fork and dug in for his portion. After taking a bite, he melted right into his seat. His whole body was filled with warmth and content. He couldn’t move.

“Not too shabby, my dumplings?”, the girl laughed harder and stretched her hand to Tsukasa, “I’m An. I’m cooking for the sirs and for the blushing maids around here!”

Kohane was silent all this time, cleaning up her plate. Who can blame her? Tsukasa would also like to skip all the niceties and wolf down his dinner at once. He shook An’s hand. Her hands were strong, calloused, and very warm.

“I’m Tsukasa. Your cooking is heavenly, An.”

“Ah, good answer, Tsukasa! Nice to meet ya, now eat up! We need you full and healthy for our silver master.” An took a bite out of a dumpling when Kohane pulled her by the sleeve and sternly looked at her. Tsukasa’s ears perked up:

“Silver master? Do you call him that?”

An gave Kohane a reassuring look:

“Come on now, dear, he is one of us now, ain’t he? What’s the big act for?”

“An! This is so indecent! He’s our master!” Kohane lowered her voice to almost a whisper, still sternly looking at An.

“Well, sorry for his royal highness, but it’s true!” An averted her eyes to Tsukasa. Kohane was still displeased: “We call him that between us simple folk because the young master is so pale and cold, you can take him for a silver statue. It’s not his fault, of course, but, by God, I take more pleasure in talking to my copper ladle, than..”

“An, be decent!” Kohane raised her voice at last, slamming her plate onto the table, “he gives us shelter and money to live, doesn’t he? Please, this is sinful to talk like that…”

An immediately lowered her voice and started to apologize to Kohane in whispers and soft coos. Tsukasa felt like an intruder all of a sudden.

“Thank you so much for the meal, An. I’m in unpayable debt to you now.” He took his plate to the sink basin and gave the girls a small nod.
“Hey, now, no need for such niceties. But if you have a mind for it, teach me your tricks sometime, piano man!” An smiled and Kohane seemed to perk up as well. Tsukasa smiled in return and exited through the door.

Wandering about the mansion by his lonesome was not a wise idea. In the dark, he could barely tell where the stairs lead to, finding his small room somewhere in the labyrinth felt impossible until dusk. Tsukasa was trailing the walls with his fingers, looking at portraits, half covered by curtains, at still life, at candle arms, that weren't used in quite some time. How could he forget to ask Kohane why it had to be so dark here? The carpet under his shoes was fluffy and clean and the air felt cold. Like people used to live here just a fortnight ago and then suddenly vanished.

After seeing a faint moonlight under the doorstep of one of the doors, Tsukasa stopped in his tracks. By everything he saw until now there was only one room in this mansion that wasn't tucked away from the light, and it was his room. Yes, his door didn't seem as big as when he first entered, but the darkness already started to play tricks on his exhausted mind. He wanted to rest so badly that his whole body ached.

He fetched a key out of his breast pocket and turned the lock. It wouldn't budge. Tsukasa huffed and put his whole strength on the key. Please, God, let him sleep and let him rest, if it's the last thing he does. Under his weight, the door creaked and burst open. It wasn't even locked. Tsukasa tried not to remember God's name in vain when he tumbled into the room head first and fell on the plush carpet.

Strange. His room doesn't have a carpet.

"Who are you?"

Tsukasa could barely tell up from down. He was slouched on the floor now, his knees hurting from the tumble. He raised his gaze to the voice and his heart skipped a beat.

Bathed in a moonlight seeping through the curtained tall windows there stood a tall young man. Blue locks were glistening, catching moonlight in the silver strands, his gaze was heavy and silver, just like the moon. The slender body was covered from prying eyes with a white blouse with wide bishop sleeves. Long pale fingers were clenched in a fist on his heart. His legs were so long and Tsukasa couldn’t breathe, looking at them. In dark trousers, going up to his belly button, the young man felt giant, the tallest man Tsukasa had ever seen. His mind surely started to play games on him now. In the dark of the room and the pale light, the young man’s features felt ethereal, barely tangible. Tsukasa could swear that something in this man reminded him of his mother, God rest her soul. Something in silver glistening eyes was making Tsukasa ache and shiver.

The Silver Prince. It was him.

“Tell me your name, or, as God is my witness, I will scream for guards”, the Silver prince took a step back from Tsukasa. Poor soul, his lair was so big, there was a good twenty feet distance between them and he was so afraid still. Tsukasa scrambled to his feet, giving the Prince a deep bow in the process:

“Young master, have mercy on my soul! My name is Tsukasa Tenma, I was summoned today in your presence to play piano! Please, no need for guards!” Tsukasa was looking at the floor now, he lowered his head down enough to see the patterns on the carpet that scabbed his knees a moment ago.

He was supposed to feel scared - it’s no joke, barge in on his master like that, there was no end to the executions that could await him by the Prince’s will. Oh, please, don’t have half a mind to hang him, that would be the worst… But his heart felt strangely calm now, almost serene. How odd…

“Oh, I see. Please, stand up straight”, the prince unclenched his fist and relaxed his shoulders. Tsukasa stood tall, resting his hands behind his back. If he had his fill looking, the young master could have his as well. Tsukasa was a simple man and had nothing to hide from the prince. Even if his silver gaze weighed heavy on his soul.

“Very well, Tsukasa. Please, do not do that again, and do not waltz in my rooms when you see fit. I will call for you when the time comes” The prince turned to the window, basked in moonlight, “You may be excused now”

“Yes, Sir, thank you” Tsukasa gave him another small nod and already turned to scramble for his life when he remembered how he got in this predicament in the first place.

“Young master, I am so sorry for my ignorance and gall, but you don’t happen to have a lantern or a spare candle by chance, do you?” he scratched the back of his head, “Y’see, the only reason I troubled you is that I am lost and cannot find my room in the dark…”

“Oh?” the young master turned his gaze on Tsukasa again, “No need for light. I will guide you”

Tsukasa raised his eyebrows as the Prince moved closer to him, passed through the door, and almost disappeared into the darkness. What is happening? Why is his master showing him the way? By all means, he should’ve sent for his servants or at least for Kohane and be done with the intruder. Is this some kind of a trick to execute poor Tsukasa after all?
But no, the prince was standing in a hallway, expectantly. Tsukasa sniffed and went after him, into the darkness.

“What did you say your name was? I am sorry for my poor memory” The prince was moving through the corridors quietly, serpentining like an autumn wind between the pathways. Tsukasa was staring at the walls and window curtains — God forbid he would barge into his master’s room ever again. In the middle of the corridor, there was a giant portrait of a man. The golden frame looked almost copper in the dark and the man’s heavy gaze underneath silver hair was following Tsukasa wherever he went. It made his hair stand up on ends.

“Tsukasa Tenma, sir”, Tsukasa turned his gaze to the Prince. He was leaning on the wall now with his hand but was keeping his pace right with Tsukasa.

“Very well. My name is Touya. If you so desire, you can refer to me by my name. It is not forbidden”

Touya. What a fitting name for a prince. For a master.

“I don’t think I am yet to earn this luxury, young master”, Tsukasa tried to smile, but the old man in the picture stopped his train of thought. His cold gray eyes were unbearable. Has this portrait always been here?

“Your rooms are in the middle of the corridor. I always remember where it is by the portrait of my father across from it”, Touya was breathing heavily now. Those princes, don’t they hunt and fight pirates for sport? How odd.

Tsukasa’s palms were itchy now, his back was covered in goosebumps. Every part of his exhausted body was screaming for an escape. What did he get himself into? Is this the Curse every hag around this village blabbers about? Was this mansion really haunted and was his master actually a demon? Was there any living soul anyway?
At the end of the corridor, he noticed a light coming from downstairs. Tsukasa thanked God for giving him a sign. Not all hope has been lost yet. There is light after all.

Tsukasa sped up his pace and in three brisk steps was standing in front of his rooms. He reached into his pocket to fetch a key and turned it in a lock. The satisfying clang of the metal made Tsukasa sigh with relief. He will sleep for two nights straight and then some.

Touya was still behind. His labored breath was now even louder than before. The steps on a plush carpet were slow and heavy. Tsukasa turned to look at his master and all of his thoughts grinded to a halt.

“Young master!!” a shrill yelp startled Tsukasa and he turned his head to see Kohane running towards them, leaving her bright lantern at the stairs. He was so lost now.

Touya was slouched and leaning on the wall, his knees buckling beneath the weight of his body. His long eyelashes were fluttering as if trying to keep his eyes open and his gaze was downcast. He was clutching his chest with one hand and propping himself on the wall with another.

“Young master, shall I…”

Before Tsukasa could end his sentence, Touya breathed in sharply and his knees gave in underneath him. The young master fell on the floor, his arms were shaking, trying to keep himself from falling face-first on the carpet. Tsukasa’s blood got cold.

“Stay where you are, Tsukasa!” Kohane made her way to Touya and was now supporting his weight, wrapping her arms around his back, “Young master, it’s quite alright! No need to panic! We will get you to bed and attend to you, I swear to Lord, everything will be in order…”

Kohane fetched a small green vial out of her apron and let Touya smell the medicine, turning the vial up to his nose. The young master breathed the medicine in and coughed dryly, wiping his face with the sleeve of his blouse. Kohane was patiently stroking his back now.

“I will help! Please, young master, I…” Tsukasa rushed to his master, ready to take him into his arms, ready to carry him through the whole mansion, if needed. Heavens, why was he so asinine? Why did he bother his master with his stupidity?

“Stay where you are, Tsukasa”, Touya spoke quietly. His voice was deep and shaky. Tsukasa froze in place.

“But, young master…”

“This is an order, Tsukasa Tenma.” Touya sighed and lifted his head to look Tsukasa right in the eyes. The silver gaze pierced him right through. He could not move anymore. “You are excused to your room. Until I summon you, leave us”

Tsukasa could not dare to disobey.

He closed the door behind him and fell on the bed face first, almost instantly falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

Tsukasa woke up in a startle from a loud bang. Someone was slamming on his door. He jumped up and opened it up to see Kohane on the other side, with a stack of neatly folded dark linen clothes slung on her arm. She breathed out and passed the clothes to Tsukasa:

“Good morning, no time for morning procedures. Please, put this on, the young master is expecting you in his rooms in quarter an hour” she looked down, resisting the habit of curtsying, “if you haven’t memorized the way from last night, his rooms are at the end of the corridor to the left. Please, walk in on two feet and do not tumble head first”

With that, she took off, without so much as raising her eyes to Tsukasa. Well, perhaps, he made such a fool of himself last night Kohane will treat him accordingly from now on. This is only fair. 

With the change of clothes he was donning a dark brown plaid suit and trousers now. To make sure he was in his master’s best graces today, Tsukasa took a small bobby pin with the golden star out of his bag and pinned it to his lapel. Maybe his sister’s memento will bring God’s graces to him today. One can only hope.

The portrait in front of Tsukasa’s rooms greeted him today with a silent judgment. Steel eyes were not as frightening as they were in the dawn of night, but they still sent chills down Tsukasa’s spine. The gaze was haunting. Following. But in the morning rays of light were finding their way through curtains, small dust flakes were flowing in the air like twinkle lights. It hadn’t occurred to Tsukasa how much he grew to miss sunlight in just a day. He made himself a promise to go outside and soak the sunshine in as soon as the young master was done with him.

With sheet music in a clenched fist, Tsukasa finally reached the rooms and knocked gently. With a hushed “come in” from the other side, he entered the room. 

In the dim light of day, shyly peering through the half-heartedly closed curtains, Tsukasa could take in much more of the young master’s room than he allowed himself yesterday. Dark green walls were full of still arts, landscape paintings, portraits of noble men in gold. Like in every other room massive red velvet curtains were obscuring large windows, but here it felt like the darkness loosened its grip. Rays of morning sun were landing on plush red carpet, on the giant bed with white canopy and fresh linen. Tall bookshelves next to the entrance were full of books, slim shelves bent under the weight, threatening to snap and spill all the books on the floor. Paper cranes were gathering on credenzas and bedside drawers, white and pristine. Tsukasa hadn’t even noticed black grand piano in the corner of the room last time he was here. 

“You asked for me, young master?” Tsukasa tried to give him his brightest smile but couldn't help shaking. Maybe Touya just wanted to throw him out of the mansion. Maybe he wanted to drown him, so no soul alive could know of the prince's weakness, maybe the guillotine is back in the picture. 

He was half sitting on the bed, two fluffy pillows tucked behind his back. The blue ocean of his hair grew stormier next to the white pristine bedding and his pale face. You could've seen blue rivers of veins on his slender wrists, running down from the bunched up sleeves of his nightly blouse down to his knuckles. When the pale moon gave grace to the sun to shine on the young master's face, you couldn't mistake him for a ghost, not in a thousand lifetimes. This was a boy. A young man. Cheeks, kissed with rosy hue, and glimmering silver eyes. 

“Yes, Tsukasa, I need you the most this morning. Could you sit at the piano, please?”

Tsukasa exhaled with great relief and mounted a piano bench. Lacquered, made of good wood, but he couldn't help but notice it being well loved and worn. On the piano some of the keys weren't flawlessly ivory — there were spots of wood underneath the lacquer showing up here and there. Tsukasa pressed a couple of keys, played two chords. Perfectly in tune. His heart sang and he sighed with pleasure. They can start right away.

“Well kept instrument, young master. I am very impressed”. Tsukasa lovingly, gently patted the keys. The young master’s small smile lightened his face.

“Yes, it is mine. I like my instrument very much and would never let it go out of tune. Would you play for me?”

Tsukasa’s heart started to thump up his throat. What would the young master like to hear? And be played on his own beloved piano no less?

He sighed heavily and put his hands on white keys, his foot on the pedal. 

Playing this instrument was as easy as breathing. Perfectly in tune, clearly very expensive, made just for the young master to play, no doubt. Tsukasa felt not like an intruder, pressing the keys, but like a welcomed guest. Like a loving tennant in a family home. He was stealing glances from the young master and Touya was simply transfixed. 

He was looking at Tsukasa's fingers moving over the keys, pressing down. His silver eyes glowed with delight. Tsukasa felt in his bones that for both of their souls this was akin to drinking from a mountain spring after a long journey. For both of them, music was like coming home. The young master recognized this simple tune, no doubt. He was already tapping on his bedsheet, slim hands imagining those ivory keys beneath them, replicating what Tsukasa was playing. But when Touya noticed Tsukasa's gaze he tucked his hands away under the blanket. Tsukasa felt a pang in his heart. He can't ask questions, not yet, maybe not ever, but the tragedy of the silver prince laying on his white sheets, unable to play, squeezed Tsukasa's heart in a tight grip. So, he played some more.

When he finished the piece, Touya asked for another one. Tsukasa's stomach growled in protest, but there was nothing he could do to keep himself from smiling. And smiling even wider when he noticed Touya tap out the keys underneath the sheets still.

"You have an excellent taste in piano pieces, Tsukasa" the young master said then, when Tsukasa stood up beside the piano bench.

"Thank you, young master, but I am but a mere trained musician. I just know what my listener would fancy" Tsukasa shrugged, keeping his hands clasped behind his back.

"Is that so?", the prince sat up straighter, "How did you know that I would like those two pieces in particular? You looked over my music sheets? Keep in contact with my father?"

Tsukasa smiled shyly in return and averted his gaze to the floor:

"No such thing, young master. I just know, and that is all there is to it"

Touya narrowed his eyes. Tsukasa continued smiling. It was the whole truth, nothing else to it. He just looked at Touya and knew what he would like. Maybe the piano told him in its way. 

“When did you learn to play? Come closer, please, I can barely see you” Touya sat up and straighten up the bedding covering his legs with his palms. Tsukasa shuffled forward, still unsteady on his legs. He noted to himself that Touya’s eyes are also failing him. This is not a silver prince in front of him, no. Paper, feather prince, anything that can be lifted up in the air and torn to shreds by the gust of wind. Tsukasa felt a pang in his heart. Just how can this man, the same age as Tsukasa, be so vulnerable? In his pale night shirt and with tight narrow lips, pressed together. Tsukasa thought of himself last week, how he had to sleep under the steps of the tailor’s shop and how he had to run away from stray dogs, chasing him for a piece of pie he managed to sneak. How would this porcelain doll, this fragile little thing survive that? Tsukasa stood a little taller, his legs stopped shaking. 

“I learnt to play from my mother, God rest her soul” Tsukasa clenched and unclenched his fists behind his back, “She was an excellent player, I’ve never seen someone play organ as masterfully as she could. She taught me sheet music since I was I child”

“I see” Touya’s gaze was unwavering, “I was taught by my father as well. It wasn’t a pretty process, but…” Touya looked away and at the grand piano, “All of it useless now, too. So many tears I’ve shedded on this bench, so many times I was hit with a ruler on my fingers, and now it’s all for nothing…” Touya trailed off, eyes fixed on the piano. 

Tsukasa didn’t dare to disrupt the silence. He could never imagine his mother hitting him for playing poorly. Nothing more than a raised voice, for him and for his sister too. And how can you strike the player’s fingers? Their most finely-tuned instrument?

He blinked in frustration. Touya didn’t seem to notice.

Unfortunately, his treacherous stomach has decided to growl at this exact moment. Tsukasa cursed under his breath and covered his belly with both his arms, hoping Touya didn’t notice. But young master huffed a small laugh:

“I see, Kohane was too upset with you to wake you up for breakfast. That’s only natural for her, I’m afraid” Does Kohane wield so much power in this mansion? How can this small maid bear so much malice? A wistful smile on Touya’s face almost made Tsukasa’s dismay more bearable.

“I’m afraid so, young master. I had nothing to eat since yesterday”

“Not to worry. I’ll call for An right away” with a heavy sigh Touya reached over to the other side of his enormous bed and tugged at the hanging wooden rod next to the bedside table. Tsukasa looked up and tranced the contraption with his eyes: dark cords, attached to different rods, were running up the wall and across the ceiling, then hiding from the view behind the door.

“Will that cord call for her?” Tsukasa heard himself say. What other secrets does this house hide? What contraptions can he fall victim to, stepping his foot outside this room? 

“Oh, that’s a bell ringer. Just something to alert my servants without me having to get up or shouting. It was installed… some time ago” Silver eyes got cloudy for a moment, but Touya averted his gaze toward other hanging rods, “This one will alert Kohane, shall I need her, and this one goes straight to the kitchen, so I can reach An. There are others for… guards and other servants as well” Touya looked up, reaching for Tsukasa: 

“Will you help me get up? I need assistance in the morning, I’m afraid.”

Tsukasa jumped up from his place, reaching out to the young master. His cold hands sent shivers down Tsukasa’s arms, but the grip of slender fingers was firmer than he imagined. Touya got up, shedding his white plush blanket. He was wearing only his pristine white night robe, pale slender legs sticking out under the cotton fabric. Tsukasa felt the heat rising up to his cheeks. He was looking at everything around him in the room but at the young master.

But it seemed Touya didn’t notice this at all. With small, but confident steps they were approaching the coffee table, draped in white tablecloth, white lilies in a glass vase in the middle. Tsukasa scrunched up his nose. The smell of lilies cannot be pleasant with your morning coffee. But upon closer inspection the lilies were made of paper, masterfully folded from white sheets. 

Tsukasa helped Touya to the big plush chair next to the table and stood next to him, inspecting white lilies. The craftsmanship was undeniable, it must’ve been done by the same person who folded all those paper cranes on the bedside table. 

If Touya noticed the object of his interest, he kept silent. Just gesticulated to Tsukasa to sit beside him:

“Don’t treat me as a vengeful lord, Tsukasa, I pray to you. Please, take a seat, we will share breakfast today.”

Tsukasa didn’t find the words to protest. After all, the hunger always clouds his judgment. Maybe it is a test or a trick. Maybe Touya is a vengeful lord, maybe he just wants to see how much he can toy with a piano playing orphan and then throw him to the dogs for the disrespect he’d shown. 

But even if all of this were to happen, at least Tsukasa will have his meal first.

As soon as he sat down, the door opened up with a bang and An waltzed in with a silver tray in toned arms.

“Oh, master! Should’ve told me you’re having company! Good morning, master Touya, Tsukasa” she put the tray down and started to move endless cups, plates, small dishes, cutlery and a big coffee pot on the table.

“Good morning, An. You know you treat me to too much food in the morning anyway” Touya nodded, while An was filling his porcelain cup with fresh coffee from a copper pot. The smell made Tsukasa’s head spin. He couldn’t remember the last time he sniffed a fresh cup, let alone had one.

“Oh, master, I know you say that, but we need you filled up and energetic! And I know how much you like your coffee in the morning, it wouldn’t hurt to have something delicious with it, would it?” Her loud voice felt so abrasive in the dim quiet of Touya’s chambers it made Tsukasa uneasy. But, if he’s being true and honest, the hush of the room can start killing anyone, let alone the Silver prince.

“Tsukasa, as I said, help yourself. An was so kind to bring additional cups and plates - pour yourself some coffee. It is indeed very good” Touya nodded his head towards the coffee pot and smiled. Tsukasa nodded in response and, eyes still locked on Touya, poured himself a cup with trembling hands. The pot was entirely too heavy for only one fragile prince indeed, An really went above and beyond.

“Yes, Tsukasa, you should also try the raspberry meringue, since our young master finds them too sweet, but the raspberry harvest was so good this year I can’t just leave them lying in my kitchen!” An smiled from ear to ear. “Oh, and for you, young master, I prepared rye bread salmon sandwiches, small portions, just to your liking! The salmon is so fresh, it was trying to jump off my table this morning!” She unloaded the last plate of bread cups filled with whipped cream from the tray and took a couple steps away to the door.

“Thank you, An. We will not take more than twenty minutes”

“I will send Kohane right away!” An saluted away, then curtsied, tugging at her apron as if it was a maiden’s skirt, and left the room as swift as she appeared.

Tsukasa let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.

The breakfast was, if anything, very excessive. Tsukasa wasn’t privy to the high society customs and why does one sickly young man need a tray of biscuits, two cups of fresh berries, a plate of finger sandwiches with different fillings, a chocolate souffle in a crystal glass and a generous piece of vanilla cake. Especially when he didn’t seem to be interested in any of it, sipping his scalding coffee and looking at the curtain, covering the floor to ceiling window. His slim pale fingers gripped the cup with such vigor, there was a small tremble in his hands. Tsukasa didn’t dare to disrupt the young master so deep in thought. But he was invited to the table, wasn’t he? Tsukasa grabbed a couple of sandwiches and stuffed them right into his mouth, barely chewing. Oh, fresh fish. He really shouldn’t get used to such luxuries. Then ripe berries on whipped cream swirls and little chocolate truffles and… Tsukasa could not contain his excitement, filling and emptying his plate as fast as he deemed suitable for the high society. In all honesty, he didn’t even know what that would be. Maybe it was against etiquette to eat at all and he was displaying the highest form of disrespect, but Touya didn’t even look his way. The small clouds rising up from his cup played in a small ray of sunshine, escaping the large velvet curtain. Touya was motionless, only the cup trembled. 

Twenty minutes later Kohane knocked on the door and let herself in after Touya beckoned her. She didn’t seem to be phased by the mountain of empty plates on Tsukasa’s side and the absence of food on Touya’s side. With a suppressed sigh she gathered the plates on the tray, curtsied to still absent Touya and was already headed to the door, when Touya spoke up.

“Kohane, stay with me for a moment. Give the plates to Tsukasa” He finally put his half-empty cup on the table and returned his attention to the present company, “Tsukasa, you may be dismissed. Please, pass the cutlery to An, I’m certain you know your way to the kitchen”

And so Tsukasa was dismissed. He strolled down the corridor, goosebumps down his arms and the plates clattering on the tray. Thank the Lord, his stomach was finally full and there was no room for unpleasant or treacherous thoughts. After the breakfast his fears of being hanged or eaten finally subsided, if not completely gone away. He even remembered where the kitchen was. 

An greeted him with the same cheerfulness she left Touya’s room. Already deep into baking fresh bread for lunch, elbows covered in dough, she gingerly picked up the tray from Tsukasa and loaded it into the sink basin.

“Oh, piano man, thank your lucky stars Kohane is busy right now! You pissed her off so much yesterday, she barely got any sleep!” An turned back to kneading the dough while Tsukasa stopped in the entrance, “And now that you wolfed down the prince’s breakfast, she will put you through the ringer I tell you!” She wiped off her brow with the knuckle. 

“Was I not permitted to eat breakfast now? Hey, Touya allowed me to eat his portion, she should take her complaints to the young master, not me!” He crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame.

“Yeah, you tell her that now, brave man!” An barked a laugh, “Well, I tell you anyway, she’s not malicious, my little Kohane. She just fusses around the Silver prince so much, she wouldn’t want him to give his soul to God in the middle of the corridor on a random Tuesday, because some servant wanted him to take a stroll!”

Tsukasa didn’t find anything to retort. Well, he wouldn’t want that either.

“I didn’t know the young master’s health was this poor…” he traced the flames of the stove with his eyes, tired from dim corridors. 

An let out a deep sigh, putting the dough in the oven. “Yeah. That’s why the gifted child prodigy pianist Touya Aoyagi now needs his personal piano man. Everything tires him out too much”

“Is he getting treated? Is it contagious?”

“Hell if I knew!” An closed the heavy oven door with a clank, “Kohane tells me the odds and ends of it, but I don’t memorize much. And it’s not my place anyway! She tells me to give him more fish or more liver for his blood and bones and that’s all I’m concerned with. And, no, it can’t be contagious, because Kohane runs rugged every day and is as lively as you and me. Don’t you worry. We think…” She trailed off, putting the flour and sugar away. Tsukasa rubbed his nose. 

There was no need to get in the way of An’s cooking any longer. With that Tsukasa bidded his goodbye until lunch and made his way to the living room near the exit. It's not likely that the young master would let him go any time soon, so he will have all the time in the world to explore this house, but right now he needs to get out as fast as he can. Tsukasa strolled down the spacious hallway and all the way down to the giant entrance door. It felt even bigger than yesterday when he encountered it for the first time. Giving it a gentle push, Tsukasa squeezed his eyes from the sudden burst of light. It was sunny outside - not a single cloud in the sky. A long and cold spring finally started to give way to the summer, the days have become longer and brighter and the sun finally started to shield him from cold and shivering in the daylight. Without hesitation Tsukasa jumped outside, closing the giant door behind him. He figured, if the young master needed him, Kohane would summon him right away. 

There was nothing to do but to enjoy the sun on his skin. It was scary how fast he started to forget the feeling only in one day. Tsukasa walked around the house, looking up at the gigantic building. No more than three stories, but it stood so tall and threatening, it felt like the light couldn't penetrate its giant dark walls. Tsukasa tried to look for Touya’s windows on the second floor, but, of course, they were indistinguishable from all the other curtained windows.

To Tsukasa’s surprise, the seaside was much closer than he imagined. No more than ten minutes and he already stood by the water, calm waves licking at his polished boots. He knew that it was too cold to swim now, but, Lord, the things he would give away to swim in the waves and to wash away all the uncertainty that he felt. Everything that he saw and felt on the last day left him feeling out of place, untethered. He didn't know whether his playing was helping the young master or it was killing his already diminished spirit. It must be hard listening to someone doing the thing you were bred to do and now can't. His heart ached for Touya. How can you not feel sorry for the young master? So young, so promising, bedridden in the prime of his life. Well, Tsukasa was sleeping in the ditch a fortnight ago and he's also in his prime, so. At least Touya has a plush bed to die on. His Mother and sister didn't have that luxury.

The glistening of the sun on the calm water didn't resolve his worry. He shouldn't be sorry for a dying aristocracy at all. That's what all people have to do - we all give our soul to God eventually. He will not be fearful of the young master and he will not fuss around, like Kohane. If Touya wants him to play piano, he will. That's all there is to it.

He stood on the shore, deep in thought about all things unpleasant, until he heard the bell from the house and Kohane was waving him in for lunch. With a heavy sigh, he went up a small hill back to the mansion.

Bean soup with a fresh loaf of sourdough was heavenly, no question about it. Tsukasa was already hungry from the fresh salty breeze and the outside air. But Kohane had half a mind to spoil his lunch. As they sat against each other by the kitchen table, she glared daggers right through him, not even touching the plate. 

At last, Tsukasa was fed up with the attitude.

“What? Kohane, what do you think I…”

“Do you really want to know? Do you want to know, Tsukasa? Why did I let a stranger in the house yesterday and then the same evening I found my master on the floor?! And who stood beside him, pray tell, Tsukasa?” she grew larger, as her knuckles whitened from squeezing her wooden spoon, “What do you want from us? To kill the young master? Only over my dead body can you do that!”

“Kohane, darling, I don't think-” An tried to rub her back in assuring circles, but Tsukasa couldn't keep his cool. Who does this little mouse think she is??

“I don't need your frail little master, Kohane!” his voice got louder against his will, palms curled into fists on the table, 

“What do you think I need of him? He volunteered to stand up, you hear me? He wanted to get up and show me my room! I didn't do anything to him! Why would I need that?!” hearing his loud voice echoing through the small kitchen, Tsukasa breathed out and sucked in hot air, “I didn't even ask him. I asked for a candle and he decided to show me the way himself” 

Kohane’s scowl melted away, giving into despair and fear. Her gaze traveled from Tsukasa right into An, who was still rubbing encouraging circles on her back. Kohane's voice rang small and fragile:

“He's getting so much worse, An… He's so much worse now…”

Tsukasa swallowed. He couldn't believe he was the bearer of the bad news.

“I do everything… I feed him, shield him from all the light, make sure he's rested… And he can't even walk through the corridor now…” her voice cracked and Tsukasa looked down, afraid of seeing tears in her eyes.

“Are you being truthful now, piano man?” An turned to him, her voice deep and intimidating.

“As God as my witness, An. I didn't even touch him until today”

An let out a heavy sigh, as Kohane was trying to steady her shaky breath.

Tsukasa looked down at his bowl. He has lost his appetite now.

He wasn’t needed until the dinner was finished. And, when Touya summoned him, the young master had already changed back into his nightgown and was lying in bed. With his eyes Tsukasa tried to find a clock on the walls but it was nowhere to be seen. By his feeling alone it was far too early to go to bed for such a young man, even if he’s ill. But Touya requested something subdude and calming to fall asleep to, so Tsukasa obliged. 

As he played, he sneaked a few quick glances at the young master. Touya looked fully alert and awake, just like he was in the morning. After the third nocturne, Tsukasa laid his hands on his lap in resignation. Touya blinked at him curiously.

“Young master, pardon me for such intrusion, but it does not seem to be working. You are as awake as ever”

Touya tilted his head, squinting at Tsukasa in the dimness of the room. He didn’t seem angered, thank the Lord. Perhaps curious?

After that Touya let out a deep sigh and chuckled:

“Yes, I have to apologize, Tsukasa. It seems my mind cannot wander off the notes, I always have to remember the chords you’re playing…” Touya looked at his hands in irritation, “It can’t be helped, it seems”

“Do you need to go to bed this early, young master? I think…”

“Let’s leave the thinking to the doctors, Tsukasa. It is what I need to do, all there is to it”

The sudden abrasiveness threw Tsukasa off the kilter. Alright, then. He doesn’t want to be friends yet. Well, his loss. 

Tsukasa bowed slightly, keeping his hands behind his back. Touya nodded.

“You can be dismissed for the day. My apologies that your playing was in vain”

“It can never be in vain, young master, if you enjoyed it” . With that Tsukasa left Touya by his lonesome, faint smile on his face.

The portrait’s steely gaze followed him down the corridor. He didn’t look mad today. His eyes a warning of something to come. When Tsukasa laid to sleep, his mind could not stop showing him those eyes, watching, prodding.

Chapter Text

Any moment Tsukasa was not needed at the mansion, he tried to be at the shore. He was a city boy, even before his birth, his mother was working in the church in the middle of a large town, surrounded by even bigger villages and vast plains of farm fields. It was his first time seeing the sea, when he arrived at Aoyagi’s residence, truthfully. Although, when he was a young boy, his mother used to take him and his sister to the lake next to the wheat fields on the outskirts of their town. The lake was so clear and the waters were so vast he would imagine that it was the sea his fairy tale books were describing. He could just picture old rugged ships with grizzly pirates swinging on ropes, octopi showing its long squishy tentacles from the dark depths, and mermaids playing in shallow waters, collecting shiny coins and singing their treacherous songs. Mother would tell them all about the sea monsters, golden treasures, and talking fish before bed so they would fall asleep faster, so the hunger wouldn’t creep up.

All he could see on these shores were pebbles and rocks. A rare seagull would take its rest on the dark sand next to the water and take off again. Most times it was only him and treacherous waves, licking at his boots. If only a rare mermaid or a pirate would appear to take his mind off all the things clouding his mind.

He’d wish to see Touya in his pride, he thought. He would love to play four-handed duos with him, he would love to show him how to tame a church organ, how to make the roof shudder with the sounds coming underneath your fingertips. He wanted to teach him new sonnets that he’d sneaked from town’s libraries and some that his sister wrote as well. He didn’t want to be his ballerina in a music box. He wanted to be his peer.

“What has he fallen ill with?” Tsukasa asks Kohane. They take laundry off the drying racks in the backyard and fold it in linen baskets. If anything, Kohane wouldn’t let him sit idle while she was upkeeping the whole house by her lonesome.

“We don’t speak on it. No need to cry about what can’t be changed”, her face was covered by the fresh white bedsheet she was folding in half, but Tsukasa could hear she rehearsed this line several times. Or someone taught her to say this.

“I know that, but…” Tsukasa waited for Kohane to look at him, “is he getting treated? Is he going to play again? Or walk outside?”

Kohane scrunched her little nose and averted her gaze to another bedsheet. Tsukasa didn’t like this at all.

“He’s in God’s hands, Tsukasa. Just like all of us”, she said, finally, after minutes of folding linen in silence. He doesn’t think that was supposed to be assuring. That sounded like a funeral invitation. For a living man.

After a week of living in the Aouyagi residence, he fell into his own routine. He saw Touya after breakfast and then after supper. He would play for him for a couple of hours, recite everything he brought with him, and then something he would manage to remember. And every day he would feel Touya’s tenseness when he was leaving for the night. He has so many questions for Touya but has no courage to bring any of them up. How could he? Any time he asked something of a young master before he had to gravely pay for it. Who would want to make the same mistake twice? So he would bother Kohane, and, even more often, take his questions to An.

Spending afternoons with An was his favorite pastime. She would make him do all kinds of tasks — by the end of the first week, he could knead the dough, chop vegetables into tiny cubes, take pits out of cherries without damaging them, and much more. He couldn’t imagine An being fearful of anything on God’s Earth, so he would ask all the questions that came to mind.

“Is it necessary for the whole house to be in the dark all the time? He doesn’t leave his room anymore”

“And what if he does, piano man? Do you want Kohane to gamble on the prince's whims?”

“Where is his father? The one who summoned me here”

“He’s away, traveling. He’s a wealthy merchant, y’see. That's how he got me to be his cook! But that's a tale for another day, ha!”

“Who made all those paper cranes and paper lilies in the young master’s room?”

An’s sharp knife stopped chopping. Tsukasa looked up from the broth he was stirring on the stove.

“I will not tell you this story, piano man” She didn’t raise her head, just stopped her knife mid-air. Her breaths got shallow.

“I apologize for asking”

“You wouldn’t know what you ask for” An sniffed and continued her chopping. The conversation subsided after that.

The Willow Hill held more secrets than he could’ve imagined. During his idle hours, Tsukasa took up exploring the mansion by his lonesome, a candle in hand and his holy water vial in a breast pocket. That is how, to his bewilderment, Tsukasa figured out that there were no guards in the mansion at all. The last of his fear of Touya’s wrath died down at that revelation. The young master could order Kohane to try and throw him in the ocean, but, other than that, no threats to his soul, thank the Lord.

Most of the rooms were more or less the same — bedrooms with big plush beds covered with burlaps and exquisite furniture, masterfully crafted, now gathering dust and rotting with no light and no care.
His least favorite room was sure to be the studio that he found on the first floor. It was a spacious room full of all kinds of crafting tools. Easels with paintings covered with cloth stood tall all over the room, walls were covered in working tools: hammers, saws, chisels, and brushes of all shapes and sizes. Marble busts of emperors and philosophers were glaring at him from their perches on the shelves. The floor was covered in paint splatters, too old to ever get out, marble dust, and wood shavings. Hundreds, thousands of paper cranes crowded every surface possible. They were everywhere — every shelf, box, window sill, even the floor. Tsukasa was outnumbered to such a degree he didn’t dare to step foot in the cranes’ lawful sanctuary. But the worst, the absolute worst part of this room was a small window right in front of the door. When Tsukasa first tried to enter the studio, that was the first thing that struck him. He could see the moon behind this window, could see the water playing in the moonlight, could see the still of the night. The window was not covered by heavy curtains. It was just as bare as all those days when Touya was still able to create with two hands when he could still express himself when the sunlight didn’t turn to become his killer yet. And no one has visited this room since then. Tsukasa felt a treacherous sting and prickle of wavering tears behind his eyelids. What a silly thing to do, God knows. To cry about a boy who had it all. Tsukasa had nothing. No one is crying for him.

But, not every room disheartened him to such a state during his explorations. On the second floor, not too far away he found the best room in the whole mansion. It captured Tsukasa’s heart so tightly, that he had half a mind to take his bedding here and declare it his new bedroom. He wanted Touya to show him around this room so badly, he sensed that the young master would be just as stoked as him. But, blessed are those who wait. It was not the time yet.

It was late in the evening when Tsukasa was finishing his fourth nocturne. With his music sheets lit only by a couple of candlelights, he was fearing a creeping loss of eyesight, just like the young master’s. Touya was not even close to falling asleep, alert as ever, sitting straight perched up by the pillows.

“What do you wish for, young master? Shall we stop for today?” Tsukasa asked, already closing the piano. Touya, for all his curiosities, was uniquely well-tuned to social cues. Has to be part of a course, being raised for high society.

“I suppose it is time to let you rest, Tsukasa. Thank you again, that was a wonderful selection of pieces”

Tsukasa stood up straight and gave him a bow, just like a pianist would after a concert. They said their goodnights but, just as Tsukasa was approaching the door, his heart grew heavier and heavier with every step. It must be unbearable to lay awake in bed, mulling in your head the tragedy that your life turned into, night after night. There had to be something to help Touya fall asleep.

“Young master, you have so many books on the bookshelves. Have you read them all?” he stalled by the door, looking up and down a massive oak bookshelf that captured his attention the first time he could take in Touya’s room properly.

“Thank you, yes, I’ve read all of them”, Touya’s faint smile was lit up by the slither of moonlight spilling through the curtains, “Although, some of them my nannies read to me when I was very young. They say I used to cry every night before bed, so they had to subside me somehow, get me back in their graces” The image of the young master, crying for attention from his nannies, made Tsukasa hide an unwilling smile.

He took a couple of steps closer to the shelves. In such darkness, he still picked up a giant book of kids’ fairy tales — a big, ancient printing with golden imprints on the cover. He gently opened the book, and serene watercolors of forest animals, fairies, and mountain ranges captured his heart. He squeezed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

“Would you mind if I read to you? Something simple and easy, like fairy tales? Y’see, I feel it would be better, for your health, of course, and, in part, for mine, although I’m not ill… And, in a sense… And sleep! It will help you sleep, right? It should… In summary… I think…” his thoughts ran miles behind his words, grinding to a complete halt. He heard himself speaking and wanted to strike himself in the head with something heavy. Shut up! Just shut up, just…!

He stopped babbling when he heard Touya quietly chuckle, covering his mouth with his palm.

“Of course, Tsukasa, I would be delighted. I thought of reading before bed myself, truth be told, but my eyes betray me these days and I don’t want to bother Kohane with this, so, I think it works out perfectly” The smile lingered on his pale face, “If it is fine with you.”

Tingles, sparkles, firecrackers in his chest. It was the first time he heard Touya laugh. Not a proper laugh, a small chuckle, but still. Small mercies.

He brought his candle closer and sheepishly sat at the corner of Touya’s bed, completely surpassing a chair nearby. He inhaled deeply, trying to focus on the words written on the pages. He didn’t even know what he was so nervous for. Just another task, another chore that he took on to relieve Kohane and to bring the young master a little peace. But he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, all of a sudden.

One name stood out to him from the long index. Must be some fable about the dangers of greed or other such light-hearted topics. Shouldn’t be too long, either, he didn’t want to overwhelm Touya with his reading.

“Okay, are you ready, young master? The story is called A Fox and A Heron, do you remember this one?”

“Not at all, truth be told. Please, don’t keep me guessing what is it about” Touya sighed with a smile and buried himself in his plush bed sheets, turning his head to Tsukasa.

Okay, so it goes.

The story was not a fable, like Tsukasa was expecting. The actual plot was about those two animals forming a deep bond with each other based on their fear of poachers and hunters. They would travel the world together and get each other from scrapes, meeting all kinds of animals on their way, learning valuable lessons about being true to yourselves and doing what feels right. The story was much longer than Tsukasa anticipated and, what’s more, Touya was as awake as when they started.

At first, Tsukasa was making him smile and even chuckle with his animal impressions. He was chirping and squeaking for the heron’s lines and pitching his voice lower to speak for the fox. All other animals got their own special impressions too, some even got little songs made out of their lines.

When he felt like the hours had passed and his voice was about to give out, he dared to speak up:

“Young master, my voice is getting tired from the impressions, shall we continue tomorrow? It’s entirely too late” Tsukasa looked up from the book and discovered Touya was transfixed on him as he had been at the beginning of the story.

“You simply cannot tease me like this, Tsukasa. Not after creating such good songs for the Wise Eagle, although I don’t suppose eagles can sing…” he tried to suppress his smile, looking up at Tsukasa from his plush pillows. Oh, that could melt anyone’s heart.

“If you promise to me, young master, that you will look rested for Kohane tomorrow morning, do I have your word?” Tsukasa gave him a private smile, narrowing his eyes. Touya returned him the conspiratorial look.

“You have my word, as God is my witness”

And so it goes again.

“By the end of their journey, the Heron and the Fox finally found their place in the world, where no trouble could reach them, no illness could bite. And, as they were settling into their new life, hunting fish and growing wheat, the fox became more and more restless. Heron, he would say, what is life without an adventure? What are we without the risk and the thrill and the glory?”

Tsukasa felt Touya shift next to him uncomfortably, getting rigid under the bedsheets.

“Heron would not agree, of course. He would give the Fox all kinds of tasks to keep him occupied — make him fetch water, hunt for winter, weave baskets for their home, but nothing worked. Fox grew more restless day by day. And, one morning, when Heron woke up, thinking up a new task for his friend, Fox was nowhere to be seen. Not a sight of him anywhere, just a pawprint in the mud by the door. That is when Heron realized the final lesson his friend had to teach him”

Touya’s breaths came out shallow. Tsukasa closed the book, holding the page with his finger, and turned closer to check on him.

Tsukasa’s eyes got bigger when he noticed the stark difference in his master’s face. He was not smiling anymore, eyes large in fear, mouth half-opened, clutching to his bedding for its dear life, hair disheveled.

“Are you feeling well, young master? Shall I call for Kohane? Do you need water, medicine? What is it?” he threw the book aside getting closer to Touya, reaching his hand to his forehead, “You’re not hot, thank the Lord, is it something else?”

“It is nothing, Tsukasa. Please, do not fuss.” finally breathed out Touya, sitting up higher in his bed, “It’s just something that I imagined. Nothing serious. Please.” he breathed a heavy sigh, still not looking at Tsukasa, just holding his gaze upright, “It’s nothing serious.”

Tsukasa’s body caught up to his mind and he just realized that he was touching Touya without reason or permission. He took his hand away like it was scolded.

“I am so sorry, young master. If you’re sure you don’t need anything, shall… Shall we continue?”

“No!” Touya’s voice echoed through the room, jumping off the walls and windows. Tsukasa suppressed a flinch. “No, that is enough for today. Goodnight.”

With that, in one swift movement, Touya covered himself with a blanket to his nose, got on his side away from Tsukasa, and squeezed his eyes.

Completely flabbergasted, Tsukasa blinked to himself, not knowing what to do now. Touya didn’t seem well at all, but what could he do? Make him open up and spill it all out? He put the book in its place on the bookshelf, took his candlelight, and took a bow on his way out for no one's eyes, still, like a proper gentleman.

On his way out, he could’ve sworn he heard tiny, barely there, sighs and sniffles.

***

It’s late in the night, but sleep doesn’t come to Tsukasa. Faint ghosts of Touya’s sudden sorrow haunt him, always nearby. What did he do to bring him to tears? Was it his fault at all? What can be said, what can be done to make amends? Once again, he crosses his heart to never go out of line and never ask anything of Touya. It always ends in the young master suffering. He certainly has enough worries without Tsukasa’s contributions.

The sleep didn’t come and now his stomach was growling so loud he was afraid to wake the whole Willow Hill up. He peered out of his room, wearing no shoes to make less noise, and made his way to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as a shadow. Waking up Touya was scary, but waking up Kohane and being on the receiving end of An’s scorn tomorrow morning would be scarier. She can have half a mind to leave him hungry for the whole day.

When he was approaching the kitchen, trying his best to step lightly on squeaky steps, he heard hushed voices behind the kitchen door. He relaxed his shoulder, releasing the tension he didn’t realize he was holding, but the words behind the door made him stop in his tracks.

“Why would he even ask that?”

“It’s only natural. The redhead left his traces all over the house, no way around it. And piano man likes to snoop”

Hearing himself mention, Tsukasa leaned in, holding his ear to the door. A redhead…?

“I scrubbed everything off of him, An. All those paper birds and flowers, those endless cranes… I didn’t have the heart to burn them. I just… gave them away in the village to the kids that wanted them…”

“I think the redhead would be so annoyed with this and I would tease him for days, I love it so much. My little angel, you have the soul of a saint”

“...I miss him too, sometimes, you know”

“I think we all are, my love”

With that Tsukasa couldn’t listen anymore. The growing worry took hold of his heart. As careful as he could, he ran up the stairs, heading straight to his room, to his bed, under the blankets.

Replacement. Stranger. Intruder. That’s who Tsukasa was to their lives. He shouldn’t worry, shouldn’t pay any mind to it — it was just a job, he was there to play piano and be quiet, then find another job, when the contract expires. And yet. And yet.

He had to gnaw his way into their souls. To scratch and carve his place in this life, even if for a short time, even if they don’t want him there. He felt like he belonged. Not the ghost, not the redheaded stranger. Tsukasa was the star. He could shine the light on the Silver Prince, and reignite him. Make him not beam, like before, but glimmer, like he still could.

If God gives him time, he will turn them around. He knew he could.

Chapter Text

Touya had his good days and his bad days.

The bad days got him bedridden, his vision worsened and he required assistance to dress himself up and to get around the room. On days like this, the gloom would cover the mansion, no one could bring themselves to raise their voice louder than a hush, no one thought to smile.

Good days, however, sometimes were very good. Touya would be in good spirits, asking An for special treats for dinner, sometimes peeking from his room to take a stroll in the corridor with Tsukasa’s assistance.

By the evening he would share with Tsukasa stories of his childhood, of his stern father and late mother. How his father was strong and mighty, how he was a virtuous piano player, but every piece he played felt like a thunderstorm, like an earthquake, the floor was shaking and the windows were trembling from the volume and the power. How he would try to beat Touya into playing the same daunting pieces, get mad at him for messing up. “Touya, piano is not your friend and not your sweetheart. Tame it, make it yours, give it your all and it will submit, don’t dare make any mistakes, it will give away your weakness”, he would say. How can you even think that, Tsukasa wondered. How can you be anything but gentle with your instrument, how can you tame a piano piece?

But he could see the remnants of his father’s teaching methods in the way Touya connected with the music even now. How his fingers still ran across the bed sheets every time Tsukasa would play for him - playing wasn’t the goal, it was the means to an end. That he could never understand.

In turn, Tsukasa would share stories about his mother, how she could make a mighty organ sound sweet and gentle, and how she would teach sheet music and explain notes to him. In his mother’s words, a piano was just a tool, an extension of a musician, his voice, and his guide. Never in his life would he imagine someone fighting his favorite instrument for dominance, nor beating a four-year-old into doing the same.

“And you can play violin too?” Tsukasa sat on the plush sofa in Touya’s room, fiddling with his cufflinks. Since that first day, he long ditched his jacket, only wearing a shirt and a vest with a pin in a breast pocket, much to Kohane’s displeasure. But old habits die hard and he has never been used to many layers of warm clothing.

“A little, yes. I also paint, sculpt, know how to properly rhyme and how to waltz” Touya smiled wistfully. He sat across Tsukasa on the couch, a book of watercolors opened on his lap, he was fiddling with one of the pages absent-mindedly, “my father was very preoccupied with me knowing all essential skills of a nobleman. I never went hunting though. I think it is probably for the best.”

Tsukasa imagined little Touya, with a tall, heavy rifle in hand, staring up at a deer. He chuckled to himself at that — poor deer would probably take pity on Touya, gray eyes larger than two moons. Master Aouyagi had the right idea, for once.

“What about origami? I think it is a skill to fold so many of them, young master, were you also taught it to fit in the high society?” Tsukasa smiled, but the smile faded the moment he saw the look on Touya’s face. The man looked despondent and lost, nothing left of his relaxed look from a moment ago.

“No, I cannot fold origami, never could. These were not made by me” his voice rang cold and hollow, sending shivers down Tsukasa’s spine.

And that was that. Another trace of the redheaded stranger Tsukasa was sick of finding. He had to change the mood quickly.

“What about dancing? Who taught you? How? Don’t tell me your father was prancing around the house with you in his arms, young master”

With that Touya’s face lit up and Tsukasa silently let out his breath.

“Well, of course not, that would’ve been quite a scene! But by some strange fate, I ended up with a male dancing teacher…” Touya covered his smile with a pale hand, “So, now I’m afraid I am hopeless when it comes to dancing with the maidens. I only know how to be the follower”

Tsukasa knew he had to laugh or, at least, politely smile at the anecdote, but he couldn’t bring himself to. His heart shot out sparks. Something deep inside, hidden, unseen, bubbled up to the surface at those words. His mind flashed him the absurd, the unthinkable image of the young master, dressed in maiden’s gowns, in high heels and opera gloves, prancing with the tall stranger around the dining room. Someone’s hands gripping him tight at the waist, someone holding his hand with a purpose. The image was not amusing. It was an entirely new emotion.

His cheeks began to redden.

Unfortunately, the young master must’ve taken Tsukasa’s silence for judgment. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter, lowering his eyes.

“Do not take it seriously, Tsukasa, please, my apologies for sharing. I cannot dance anymore in any case”

“No!” Tsukasa didn’t expect to raise his voice so much and Touya seemed startled as well. But, no what? No, young master, I couldn’t answer as I was overcome with an image of you in man’s arms…? “No”, he decides, “I just think it is a shame we didn’t have a chance to see each other on the ballroom floor at our prime”

“How would they allow you in, Tsukasa?” Touya’s teasing, or at least trying, to ease the tension, but Tsukasa pays it no mind. “And, I’ve got to say, I believe you’re in your prime right now” With that he smiled and relaxed his shoulders, ever so slightly.

“Now, who said I’m going to do the dancing? I’ll be accompanying you with the fastest Viennese waltz the orchestra would master, while you will be spun in the middle of the ballroom by some unfortunate maiden” Tsukasa grinned at Touya, leaning a bit closer and propping himself on his hands on a couch. He was hoping that his excessive confidence would conceal… everything else he was feeling.

Luckily, Touya was ready to play ball.

“Oh, don’t feel sorry for that maiden at all. I am an unusual, but quite a good dancer” Touya leaned his head back on the couch, “If only all those talents wouldn’t go to waste, but alas…” With that he closed the book on his lap and averted his eyes away from Tsukasa, looking straight in front of himself, “I do wish we would have met at least a couple of years earlier, Tsukasa”

He fell silent, without providing any explanation, as to why he would want Tsukasa’s company back when he was younger. Didn’t he have a redhead to entertain him already? A prick of annoyance stung Tsukasa’s heart and melted away as fast as it appeared.

“I am honored to get to know you at all, young master”

“Yes, well. Likewise.” Touya smiled to himself, “I just wish I at least could properly make out your features, to memorize your face. With this dimness all the time and with my eyes failing me I think of you as a blond entity. Don’t even know your eye color”

Without even thinking for a moment, in a swift motion, Tsukasa took the young master’s face in his hands, turned him toward himself, and leaned in closer. Their noses almost touched. Touya’s cheeks felt cool to the touch.

“Brown and orange. Like tangerines” Tsukasa said.

He felt Touya’s shaky breath on his lips. He couldn’t move. His ears were burning red.

“Like my mom’s and my sister’s” Tsukasa blinked, trying to ground himself, “And I will now remember that your eyes are gray. Like a thunderstorm. And you have a beauty mark under your right eye. I haven’t seen it before”
Touya blinked in turn and gave him a small nod. Tsukasa looked and looked into his thunderstorm eyes until he felt Touya’s cheeks under his hands becoming hotter and hotter. Then his mind finally caught up with his treacherous body.

“Well, it’s high time for me to check on the lunch, isn’t it?” Tsukasa jumped from the sofa, heading straight to the door. When he turned around to take his bow, Touya was seated in the same position Tsukasa left him, unblinking and motionless.

“I’ll see you in the evening, as per usual” he blabbered, and Touya could only silently nod to that.

Tsukasa closed the door behind him and slid down the wall, holding his face in his hands.

What is it exactly he is getting himself into…?

***

Kohane didn’t like to sit idle. Every moment of rest was a wasted opportunity to make something cleaner or prettier. That is why Tsukasa adored doing everything he could to make her take a break. Like today, when the sun was shining so bright and summer already felt like it took its reigns from spring, he took a blanket from one of the abandoned rooms, stole a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of juice from the kitchen (with An’s blessing, of course), packed it all in a laundry basket and invited Kohane to a seaside picnic.

To say she was hesitant was an understatement, but An promised to look after the house for the whole couple hours Kohane would be outside and to call for her if anything, God forbid, happened. On their way out An clapped Tsukasa on the shoulder:

“Thank you for looking after her. I take her on dates in the village now and then, but she would listen to me even less if I told her to take a break, y'know. And I have too much on my plate anyway. The weevils in the garden are such a pain, the silver master will be eating nothing but cabbage for a month if I won’t take care of it”

Tsukasa smiled at that. It was his pleasure, and he couldn’t move Kohane from her sewing and dusting without An’s help anyway.

When they reached the seaside, Tsukasa laid out the blanket on the patch of sand next to the water and fetched out their sandwiches. Kohane gracefully sat down next to him, tucking her skirts in. She sighed, looking out into the distance. Tsukasa didn’t dare to disturb her for a long moment. Then she took her food from him and lowered her eyes.

“Thank you, Tsukasa. I think I need to look after myself every so often.”

“What were you thinking about just now, if you mind telling me?” He took a bite of his sandwich. Kohane gave him a tired smile without looking up.

“Truth be told… I was thinking about the silverware I had to polish today but ditched when you called me to a picnic”, she gave herself a disappointed laugh, “I am your peer, we’re about the same age, but I feel like an old spinster talking about duties and responsibilities all the time…”

Tsukasa offered her a drink.

“Don’t be silly, Kohane, without you this whole castle would go up in flames” he nudged her with his shoulder, “An would start the fire with some new elaborate steak recipe and I would try to take it out with an oily rag or something”

“No, An would never do such a thing, she is amazing” Kohane took a sip of juice from the bottle. The sun glistened on the shiny green glass, “It’s you, however…I have doubts about.”

“Hey!”

They shared a laugh and the conversation subsided for a moment. The sea was calm and serene, rays of sun playing on the surface, making it shine and glisten. Tsukasa felt sunshine heating his face for the first time in a long time. He put his food away and laid down on the blanket, hand under his head.

“How many days like this will we get? Lay down, nothing bad will happen, I promise”

Kohane sighed, chuckled to herself, and laid down next to him.

“What do you feel?”

“My back is killing me”

“Well, me too, but what else?”

“Sun shining”

“Yes? And how does it make you feel?”

“Hot, mostly”

“But in a broader sense?”

She took a deep breath and slowly breathed out.

“At peace”

“Me too”

Tsukasa looked up at the clear blue sky and shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand.

He wished Touya could feel it too.

“How did you end up in this place anyway? I don’t imagine you are one of the trained maids that rich men buy from those shady markets…”

“Would that be so terrible? If I was a trained servant for men? Would you think less of me?” Kohane turned his head to him, a sting of annoyance in her voice.

“Don’t take me for a naive schoolboy, Kohane”, he sighed, “I am a son of a poor church lady, I’ve played with brothel kids since I was two, I’ve seen people of all walks of life from the cradle, and there is only one rule I learned about them. The worst are always the rich ones”

Kohane let out a laugh at that, turning her head back.

“Yeah, you learn that pretty quickly, don’t you?” she took a sip from the bottle, “What, even our young master?”

“Our young master has no use for money, he doesn’t count” He wanted to smile at that, but the thought just depressed him. Who was he turning into — can’t even make fun of spoiled kids anymore. What would Saki think…

“No, I wasn’t trained by anyone”, Kohane continued, “Had to learn everything from scratch. Before An arrived at the house, I tried to cook up roast dinner for master Aoyagi and the young master, and I was so scared to kill a chicken I cried on the floor” she sighed with a smile on her face, “Ever since I told this story to An, she’d sold all of our chicks and buys all meat in the village now, my Godsent angel she is”

Tsukasa was sure An had no problem cutting the chicken’s head off and plucking all its feathers if asked to. By this time he was sure An would slaughter a living breathing man if Kohane asked her.

What does it feel like, he wondered. To be loved as fiercely and obediently.

“But before that I… I’ve never left these places, truth be told. I grew up in the nearest village, with many kids, just like me, around. And then my dad got drafted to some overseas war, like many able-bodied men next to us. My mother died shortly after. The doctor said it was pneumonia that did her in, but I don’t believe it, honest to God. I wasn’t sick at all, not even a sniffle” she swallowed loudly, “I know death from a broken heart when I see it” she uttered quickly and took another swig from the bottle, almost empty now.

“And master Aoyagi took you in, just like that?”

“Well… Not just like that” Kohane tried to hide her smile from Tsukasa, “I was squatting in his basement like a little weasel. Our house was taken away because no one could pay for it anymore and I ran before anyone could find me and put me in the orphanage” she sighed. Tsukasa wondered what this little girl had to see when her mom died. Unmoving pale face, limp hands, that were supposed to be warm and to hold you tightly forever. falling to the side of the bed, unseeing eyes. once bright and curious, now wide open, chapped grey lips… It was too soon to heal and impossible to forget. He would know it best of all.

He sat up straight and Kohane followed suit. He felt the warmth of her shoulder next to his, silently praying for the rest of her mother’s soul. He wished their mothers met in this world and now prayed for them to meet in heaven.

“So, he found you in the basement and took you in? Unbelievable, I thought of him as quite a ruthless man, if being honest”

Kohane looked down at that and started fidgeting with her fingers. She took her moment to answer.

“No, it was not Master Aoyagi who found me there”

“Really? Was it Touya?”

“No, not the young master” She took a deep breath and held it for a moment.

When she spoke up, Tsukasa’s arms got covered in goosebumps.

“It was Akito”

***

Today was the day. He couldn’t wait any longer. The sun was shining, at least what he could’ve seen from the gaps in curtains, Touya was in good spirits and dressed in his favorite high-rise pants and a flowy blouse with a lace cravat, he was requesting only cheerful tunes for his breakfast and even had a piece of chocolate cake with his coffee. It was now or never, and Tsukasa was determined.

He will ask him for a tour of Tsukasa’s favorite place in the house.

The library.

When he first found it, he thought he magically got carried away into a different time and place. Unlike any other room in the house, abandoned and covered in dust, this place was untouched by time, it was like someone was just hosting their book club with tea and biscuits right here, in the middle of the library, and left not more than an hour ago. Everything was pristine, shining, and polished, and the bookshelves were overflowing with books, all weathered and ancient, but in excellent condition.

His favorite and the most fascinating object in the room was its crown jewel — the record player. Tsukasa was bewildered by his discovery, a fully functioning vinyl record player, with a record library, stashed away on the shelves, and no one around to listen to it! So many classical pieces and concertos, but also fun tunes to dance around to. He knew Kohane was keeping up this place — who else would that be? But Tsukasa preferred to believe that no one knew about this room, just him alone. That it got frozen in time back when Touya could walk and run and dance, and it’s still waiting for him to return.

Well, return he shall. Today Touya was in good spirits, smiling and laughing, and was walking around his room freely, with no assistance at all. So, the moment was just perfect.

“Young master, how do you feel this evening?”

The sun was barely touching the horizon, but the strict schedule of Touya’s life relied on clocks only. But Touya didn’t seem to be drowsy at all, all soft smiles.

“I am quite alright, Tsukasa, thank you for asking. Are you ready for your evening session?”

“Actually… I’ve had something selfish in mind today”

Tsukasa was standing in the doorframe, hands behind his back, eyes down. He knew he wasn’t asking too much, he could tell.

“Oh? Pray tell, what is it?” Touya got up from his sofa and took a couple of steps towards Tsukasa, clever gray eyes on him. He didn’t waver, walked straight, with no support. That is a good sign.

“Do you… Can you show me the library, young master? I am sure you used to visit that room a lot, I couldn’t wish for a better guide!” Tsukasa raised his voice in passion, hearing himself echoing in the chandelier's glass shades. He shivered with his own awkwardness.

“The library?” Touya perked up, putting his slim hand closer to his heart, “Of course, I love our library, I used to spend all of my free time there when I was a young boy”, his whole face lit up at the memory. A soft smile revealed a dimple on the right cheek. Tsukasa felt his ears heating up. “But I don’t know how I would be of any use to you, Tsukasa… I haven’t visited it in ages… Perhaps, Kohane would be of better assistance? I can call for her, I’m sure she knows all the nooks and crannies…”

“No, please, young master,” Tsukasa pleaded, raising his eyes to meet Touya’s. “She has too much on her plate, I don’t dare to disturb her anymore. Besides, I can be of help too. You can hold me while we walk, and it’s a short route, isn’t it? Just three doors down from your room” he tilted his head, giving Touya a mischievous grin.

A smile on Tsukasa’s face must’ve clued in Touya that they don’t really need Kohane right now. He sighed out in resignation:

“Alright, let me hold your elbow for steadiness. But, if it’s anything like the last time, you take all the blame, you hear me?”

“No fair, young master!” Tsukasa raised his voice again, but, as he noticed Touya chuckling to himself, his voice softened, “Your wish is my command, I will gladly take the beating. Now, take my elbow, let’s embark on the journey, shall we?”

They took one confident step from the threshold of the door.

“I think we shall” Touya breathed out, steadying himself.

Just as Tsukasa had predicted, Touya had enough power and will today for them to cross the hall with no issues at all, he even opened the giant wooden library door by himself. When they entered the room, Touya’s breath hitched.

“It’s… It’s just like I remember…”

Tsukasa breathed out with relief. He’s been breaking his back trying to make this room look as beautiful as possible. He tucked the curtains tighter, lit every candle in the room, and even reached the candelabras on the ceiling and in the corners. He brought fresh flowers from their garden, neatly arranged them in copper vases. He even asked Kohane to borrow a broom and a duster, to turn everything dream-like.

And now, by the glimmer of wonder in Touya’s eyes, by the way his arms hung limply by his sides, and by the half-opened mouth in wonder, Tsukasa truly felt that his labor was not in vain.

“Yeah, I dusted it down a little bit, you know…” Tsukasa rubbed the back of his head, looking anywhere but at Touya, “Oh, and did you know that the old record player still works?”

Tsukasa dragged out the small table with the record player from the shadows and Touya let out a small gasp.

“Is it still in use? Are you being true, Tsukasa?”

“Of course I am! Look, it has many records, still working!”

Touya sat down on the plush sofa in the corner of the room while Tsukasa was busying himself with the vinyl, fetching the one that he wanted from its worn out sleeve, placing it on the player and fiddling with the needle.

“I haven’t been there in so long, Tsukasa, it feels like a lifetime…” Touya was still looking around the room in amazement, eyes shining, “so many memories of picking out books, learning how to read and spell with my nannies… Hiding from mother so she wouldn’t make me go to church…” he trailed off at that, looking up. Candlelight played on his face, warming his pale skin, painting him golden. He was glowing from the inside out. Tsukasa sneaked just a shy look at him, but he froze in awe, unruly hands almost making the record scratch.

Luckily, he was finished setting everything up. The record player crackled warmly, the vinyl spun in its pace and, as the first notes gently filled the room, Touya happily sighed.

“Waltz of the Flowers? Isn’t it a little cliche?” He rested his hands on his knees, legs neatly pressed together and planted on the floor. Tsukasa had none of that.

“Is it cliche or is it brilliant? I don’t think we have to debate on it, young master” he smiled and came closer to Touya. When he lent his hand, covered in blisters, to Touya, the young master almost flinched.

“What is it? I can’t imagine what you are plotting, Tsukasa” he laughed nervously.

Tsukasa in turn gave him the biggest reassuring smile he could muster.

“I do not plot anything, young master” he stood firmly, arm outstretched in invitation. “Will you give me one dance?” But Touya really had to hurry — Tsukasa was close to starting shaking in fear.

“I don’t think it’s a wise idea, Tsukasa…” Touya’s eyes got stormy, “just because I had enough strength to walk to this room-”

“You don’t need to be strong. I will hold you up” Tsukasa didn’t allow even a shadow of a doubt to creep into Touya’s mind, “You know that I’m strong enough for both of us, don’t you? Just put your faith in me, I want you to give me only one dance, just this time”

Tsukasa’s eyes pleaded so fiercely Touya didn’t have a chance to refuse. Sheepishly, with great uncertainty and a little tremble, Touya outstretched his hand in turn. His palm is soft, slim pale fingers are cold and delicate. Tsukasa could swear he felt a lightning bolt strike between them, right at the place of contact. He had to be a man of his word, now, and try to stay steady on his legs, but the knees were threatening to buckle out of fear.

“If you drop me, Tsukasa”, Touya got up on his legs, trembling just a little, “You know it’s not my wrath you should be worried about, right?”

“As God as my witness, you will be safe and Kohane will be sound” Tsukasa, without skipping a bit, held Touya by his waist. Firm enough to keep him steady, but not forceful enough to hurt.

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but holding Touya’s waist felt… disarming. All of a sudden he felt such immense power over this boy, he was overcome with a rush of protectiveness, of loyalty. I’ll strike down everyone who does you wrong. I’ll hold you in my hands until I can’t hold any longer.  Touya’s waist was so small and the high-rise pants hugged him so tightly, just for a split moment Tsukasa could imagine circling his waist with his palms and having fingers meet on both ends. This treacherous vision, a pure indulgence, almost sent him into vertigo.

Just as he caught his young master by the waist, his other hand interlaced their fingers. They were in position. Touya’s breath hitched. His bottomless grey eyes filled up with fear and.. something else entirely.

“You…You know how to dance, Tsukasa?” his voice came a little louder than a whisper. In his mind, Tsukasa imagined his young master looking up at him, eyes full of adornment, but, to his dismay, Touya was just a bit taller. He was looking down at him ever so slightly, a long fringe falling on his face.

“Who do you take me for, young master?” Tsukasa matched his tone, barely whispering. “I see you have a lot to learn about me still”

“I guess I do” Touya’s voice became even fainter. Tsukasa could feel his breath on his cheek. Now he finally felt that his young master was a bit taller than him. It sent sparks down his stomach. Maybe, the reality was a tad better than his imagination.

The waltz grew louder and louder, and the music swelled.

“You know how to follow and I know how to lead. We make a perfect couple for a dance” Tsukasa grabbed Touya’s waist firmer, making it so Touya’s feet barely touched the ground. “Put your trust in me. And, please, do not actually move yourself, let me do the rest”

Touya looked down at him with unblinking eyes. Tsukasa was waiting for a protest or, at least, an acknowledgment, but, when nothing of sorts came, Tsukasa just smiled wider.

“Shall we start? One, two three. One, two, three…”

The Waltz of the Flowers swelled up and crumbled, over and over. Tsukasa moved Touya along, on the polished wooden floors of the library. The young master’s feet barely scraped the ground. The only sounds left were the music, Touya’s shoes brushing on polished floors and the deafening heartbeat Tsukasa felt in his throat. He didn’t feel Touya’s weight at all, especially now that he pleaded his undying loyalty to the young master with one touch of his waist.

Tsukasa was swaying him as gently as he could, with music guiding them, with his memory of the dance, instilled in him with all the teachers he met in his life — lonely church ladies, widows, poor moms, brothel girls. They all taught him, not some fancy tutor who couldn’t tell his ass from his feet. Look who’s holding Touya now. Look who’s leading him.

Touya was looking down at Tsukasa at first, his eyes big and indecipherable, but he couldn’t keep his head straight much longer. His hand firmly held Tsukasa’s, and he wasn't out of breath at all. But, after looking into each other’s eyes for just a moment, Touya dropped his head on Tsukasa’s shoulder. They slowed the pace just a little.

“Young master, are you feeling alright? Does your head hurt?” Tsukasa didn’t know why his question came in a whisper. Touya was so close, not an inch between them. His fingers are cold, but his body is warm and firm, pressed to him. There was no space to raise the voice.

“Not at all, Tsukasa” his words small, muffled by Tsukasa’s shirt, “please, do not let me go”

And that was enough to hear. Tsukasa looked up at the ceiling, trying to steady his breath and blink away the pang in his heart.

And he swayed and swayed them around the room, with the music moving them and making their hearts race, with the candles drowning them in light and they were pressed together, breathless and golden. Until the music stopped, until the legs shook, and until his arms gave out.

One, two three. One, two, three.

Tsukasa felt a wet patch on his shirt where Touya’s eyes rested.
He will never ask.

***

Tsukasa followed Kohane to her room while she was preparing to leave for the village.

She turned around and gasped in surprise, clutching her shirt over her heart.

“Tsukasa! You’re going to give me a heart attack! What do you need in a maiden’s room?”

Tsukasa ignored her and closed the door shut. She breathed out, seeing how serious he was, and, indeed, Tsukasa couldn’t be more severe.

“What is it that can't wait until I am back?”

Tsukasa closed his eyes, trying to calm his nerves, breathed out through his nose, and got closer to Kohane.

“I need to know it already, Kohane. You can’t hide it from me forever”

Her eyes got large for a moment until she caught herself.

“I do not know what are you talking about”

“Knock it off!” Tsukasa raised his voice in frustration, curling and uncurling his fists. Unable to dance around it anymore, he got closer to Kohane, his voice coming to an angry hiss:

“Who is Akito?”

Chapter Text

“Now count to fifty!”

“No fair, you counted to twenty!”

“I thought of a better place to hide!”

He’s running away somewhere through the door to Father’s study, and Touya doesn’t say that they really shouldn’t be playing there. He’s not going to whine and spoil the game this time.

“Eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Ready or not, here I come!” Touya screams out and bolts for Father’s study. Nothing suspicious at first, even the light silk curtains are undisturbed. He tries not to cheat and not to make him laugh so to find him by sound, but it’s so hard as is. Akito had a talent for hide and seek. But Touya was no slouch himself.
After a solid minute of quiet pondering, he knew that Akito couldn’t sit still for long. He suspected him hiding between the leather sofa and a tall bookcase, but if he looked and Akito wasn’t there he would make fun of him later. So Touya stood there for a long moment, just looking out of the window and pressing his hand to his mouth, trying not to laugh.

“ARrrrhhh!!!”

His gamble paid off — not a moment later Akito jumped out at him from his spot, with big eyes and a wide grin, trying to tackle Touya on the floor. It tickled, very very much.

***

The winter was especially harsh that year. Two of them were stranded in the house, wrapped up in blankets next to the fireplace in the hall. Touya was uneasy ignoring his studies while his parents were in the house, which happened less and less recently. But Akito could convince a dead person to come alive again.

“You’ve played piano for four hours today, isn’t that enough work? Let’s go sledding, I’ve seen a perfect spot behind the house!”

“I know, but I need to read some more, also my calligraphy is terrible, I have to redo my last assignment..”

“Oh, Touya, aren’t you fourteen? Where is your rebellious spirit? By this age we should be stealing your father’s cigars and go looking for cute girls in the village!”

Touya looked up at him, voice flat “Do you want to look for cute girls?”

“I want to go sledding with you!” Akito got on his feet and took the blanket off Touya, “Come on, let’s go get dressed! Your dad can take his ire on me if he wants to, can even spank me I wouldn’t care!”

They were sledding for hours until their fingers and toes got numb. Later in the night, Akito’s thighs got numb and swollen from the beating he received from Master Aoyagi. Looking back, he cared very much about it.

***

“You think he will take her?”

“Well, I vouched for her, why wouldn’t he?”

“Oh, that’s exactly what I’m worried about”

“Hey!”

Today, on the seventh day of their shared Big Big Secret they’ve decided that Kohane cannot live in the basement anymore. They could sustain her on leftovers from dinners for a little longer, but the mold in the basement couldn’t’ve been good for a young maiden. Master Aoyagi took her into his study after Akito and Touya finally showed him the girl, and they were there for a good couple of hours.

Touya was playing a little nocturne he’s been crafting on piano. Akito was folding his paper cranes.

“You’ll use up all of my notebooks on them”

“Well I fold them when I’m nervous, what do you want me to do?”

The heavy door to Touya’s room creaked and both boys looked up, startled.

Master Aoyagi opened the door fully, standing tall, towering over Kohane.

“Kohane, this is your young master, Touya. You are to serve him with all your heart until you sleep in the bed he lends you and eat the food he gives you. You curtsey in his presence and you address him by the rules. And this is Akito.”

And that’s how Kohane became one of them.

***

They're cooped up in an art room. Touya has an assignment from his art teacher to sketch a bust from six different angles, papers stacked neatly on the shelf. He's on his fourth head.

“I don't get it” Akito folding his paper cranes right on the floor. In his worry, he forgot to bring himself a chair and was now too restless to be left alone.

“What is there to get? They don't know a cure, all I have to do is be cautious and wait” Touya doesn't take his eyes off the bust. He can't get the angle of the sloped nose just right. He's used an eraser on this one spot so many times the paper got thinner. He rubs the sweat off his brow with a wrist, leaving a smudge of pencil dust.

“Wait for what?” Akito gets up in a swift motion, papers get picked up by the wind and thrown around him, paper cranes scatter about. “If she's so clever how come there's no cure? Isn't the sun supposed to be good for you anyway? The sea air, salt breeze?”

Touya steadies himself, trying not to get into Akito’s whirlwind. He takes a deep breath. Breathes out.

“What do you want me to say? Should I disobey, go out there and perish faster? Or maybe I should give the doctors at least a chance to think of something?”

Akito takes up air to say something, but slouches his shoulders, wordless. His arms hung limp by his sides.

“I don't know what I want you to say, man. I'm sorry. It's your health and I'm out here, kicking and screaming, like a spoiled child”

“Oh, that's quite okay” Touya fully turns towards him, putting a pencil away on the easel, “If it was your health at stake, I can't imagine how I would behave. It's only natural to care for your friends more than you care for yourself”

“Yeah…” Akito chuckles to himself, eyes downcast, then lurches forward and embraces Touya at the waist, hugs him tightly, hands at his shoulder blades. Touya’s breath hitches.

“I'm sorry, I just… I don't know what I would do without you. You're my best friend, man. What is there for me if you die?”

The prospect of dying didn't scare Touya until this moment. He's had a decent life, he thought. Full of fun and hard honest work, he had nothing to hide from God when he passed. But now it was the scariest thing in the world, to leave Akito alone. What is there for him? Touya blinks away his panic.

“The whole wide world is there for you” he promises in Akito's soft ginger hair. “And I will be here with you to see it. I know it”

They've never entered an art room since that day.

***

Touya is resting in bed after a long day of exercises and piano lessons. He can't endure them like before. One hour of playing left his fingers and wrists aching, running is too taxing, more than three sit-ups make his vision fade to black, and even stretching is so hard he's out of breath after a quarter of an hour. But Akito, to his credit, puts on the bravest face out of everyone in the house. Touya can't go outside? He'll fetch him water from the sea and some rocks, to smell the salt and remember the breeze. Is it too hard to stand in front of an easel for several hours? He fashions a tablet out of wood and clothespins so Touya can draw while lying down. Can't fetch for his servants anymore because on some days he gets so bad it's hard get out of bed? Akito grinds his teeth, rubs his face with his hands, and makes a whole system of bells hooked to wires, so Touya can call for anyone from his bed. Now he can pull on a cord and Kohane will appear in the doorway in a couple of minutes. It's an engineering marvel, Touya feels bad it's getting spent on him and his inadequacies.

“What is it, Sleeping Beauty?” Akito is tweaking the cords to his liking, standing in his outside boots on Touya’s plush armchair. He can't pay any mind to it. Something about Akito's frame entranced him. Maybe it's the width of Akito's biceps that certainly became bigger over this summer or it's the way his undershirt bunched up on his pectorals, he really can't say. In any case, he has no place nor decency to even give a thought to any of it.

“I… I've been thinking how hard it will be when Dad comes back from his sailing. He can't let me sit idle, even if I bleed out in front of him…”

“Don't worry about the old man, buddy”
Akito descends from his armchairs and claps his hands together, satisfied with his work. “You're his only offspring, all of this will be yours when he gives his soul to God, you think he won't dote on you? All of his tough facade is for show, he cares for you too much”

“I can't even imagine all of this being mine… Will I have to sail the seas like him? What was all this piano training for then…” Touya turns his head to look out the window to the sea like he's done a million times before, but his muscle memory betrays him. He forgot that all the windows are heavily curtained now. No sun, no daylight, nothing brighter than a candle. He knows, he knows.

“Well, I can imagine it!” Akito treats all of Touya's possessions like his own, and falls on the bed in his work clothes, with boots still on. Touya can't get mad, but he feels the heat rising to his cheeks. Akito smells like a hard day's work, dirt and sweat. He swallows his spit. “All of this yours, with no old man to tell you what to do and where to go! I think we should open a beer brewery. No, a brothel! Kohane will be their madam, you'll be in charge of music, and I will be the lead boudoir inspector”

Touya throws a pillow at him and Akito belly laughs.

“Maybe you should be a madam, Akito? Take your shoes off!” Kohane stands in a doorway, hands on her hips. Akito swears under his breath but kicks off his boots to the floor.

“If you don't like my idea this much, Kohane, what do you want to be here when the old man dies? A chicken farm no doubt!” He starts to laugh, but Kohane’s stern look stops him in his tracks.

“Stop teasing her, Akito, be decent for once” Touya pleads in a soft voice. Akito sniffs and smiles, easing off. Touya's stomach fills with warmth - he's so happy to have power over Akito’s rowdiness, still.

“If you're inclined to know, Akito, I would open a snake sanctuary and would feed them rats and rabbits to their heart's content. I would give away your bedroom to the biggest python in the land and make you feed him personally” Kohane comes closer, still not feeling too comfortable around Touya to sit or to rest without permission.

“In that case, I'm sailing away from you as fast as I can!” Akito chuckles and puts his hands behind his head, resting on the plush pillow next to struggling Touya. He tries his hardest not to turn his head and stare. He hopes he doesn't sweat visibly.

“And if any of you want to know my opinion,” Touya straightens his shoulders, “I would open a music school for children. Would put violins and tubas in every room, get the best teachers around, and let everyone play away” He smiles, looking at his hands, “And we would hold balls in the library where my best pupils would show off their skills and all other students dance…” he catches himself trailing off. Kohane and Akito's gazes locked on him. He can't stand it these days.

“Anyway. If I get better, we'll think about it together”

“When you get better” Akito corrects him, wrapping his hand around Touya's shoulders, “I’ll personally travel the world and find you the greatest pianos there are. And bring them to you on my own shoulders, if you want to”

Touya tries not to blush. No pianos though, the thought passes his mind. Kohane nods along.

“I will visit every music seminary in the land and bring you the best teachers. By hand, if you need me to, young master”

Touya's heart swells. He wants so badly to believe that it's nothing but love that he hears. He hopes, he prays to God that his closest people do not share with him the empty platitudes you give to the deadly sick so they pass with a hopeful heart. He wants to believe they mean it.

He hugs Akito back. Please, Lord, let him stay by his side as long as possible. Give them as much time as you can.

***

Summer comes and goes, and Touya barely notices it passing. He tries to read more to take his mind away from everything. For example, how his legs hadn’t stopped aching since yesterday, when he dared to go down and up the stairs. He didn’t want to think about being stuck on the second floor of his mansion for the rest of his life. He wanted to escape somewhere distant, in a dragon-filled hot wasteland or to the olden times, where young men died on a battlefield in a blaze of glory. Not in their plush beds, tired from walking.

Akito was trying his best not to leave Touya’s side it seemed. But he, too, got more and more restless. Now he pressed himself to the window, behind the curtain, out of Touya’s sight. He’s been spending more time there recently, just looking away at the stormy sea.

“You can go there anytime you want, you know,” Touya noted flatly, not raising his eyes from the book.

“I know” Akito responded just as plainly. A beat. “Your dad should arrive soon, do you remember?”

“I try to take my mind off the unpleasant things these days, thank you”

“Well… At least maybe he would have some interesting stories to tell…”

Touya lowered his book.

“When did my father ever share his adventures with you, Akito?”

“Why did he have to take both of our mothers away?” Akito’s voice is quiet and distant. Touya feels a pang in his chest that is too painful for big words.

“I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me anything”

During his last visit, Harumichi Aoyagi arranged for his wife as well as her handmaiden, Akito's mom, to promptly leave the residence and travel to Touya’s distant relatives until further notice. It will be quick, he said. It’s a preventive measure, you don’t want your mother to catch a disease from you, do you? And what would she do without her handmaiden? Akito could come too if he wished. He didn’t wish to leave Touya. That was the last time they both saw their moms.

“When it’s all over we take the first fishing boat in the village and swim away as far as the water takes us” Akito is still behind the curtain and his voice is muffled, unreachable. Touya doesn’t even have the strength to protest. He starts to suspect it’s never going to be over. Not in a way Akito means anyway.

“In another life, I would be a sailor I think” he continues, “I would see all kinds of people, learn all the languages there are to learn. I would know all the dances and songs and traditions… I would have friends and lovers on every continent” he scrapes the window with his fingernail.

Touya wants to scream. This is the real agony, not the coughing and the aching and temporary blindness, it’s this. Akito, scraping away to the freedom he can’t have because of him. They’re so young he doesn’t have to wish for another life, he could’ve done it in this one, right here and now, but he’s stuck with a sickly boy that can give him nothing but trouble and worry.

Touya lets out an involuntary sob, covers his mouth with his hands, but it’s too late, Akito has heard him.

“What is it? Hey, buddy, hey…” he comes closer, all worried and apologetic. Touya is sick of worry. He can’t stand all this worry anymore.

“It’s nothing, I am sorry to trouble you” Touya breathes out, puts his book away, “I guess I am more concerned about my father coming back than I thought”

“Don’t be. I’m here, right? I won’t let the old man give you a hard time” Akito lies down next to him, covers himself in blankets, and puts one hand over Touya, “Do you want me to break a window in some abandoned room? He will get so tired of screaming at me he’ll forget all about you”

“Do not do anything of sorts, please” Touya smiles and puts Akito’s hair off his face, “I can hold my own against him. I am grown enough now”

“If you say so” Akito yawns and closes his eyes, “we have a whole night of rest ahead of us, let’s use it for good”

Touya agrees. They fall asleep together, limbs tangled. He can’t remember when it became normal for them to be so close. He wished Akito would continue, though. He craved those fleeting moments of intimacy, like a tight hug or a kiss on the forehead, even if there was nothing behind them but close friendship. It was enough.

***

“What is the meaning of this???”

The night of rest was over too early.
Touya woke up in a startle, his father towering over them, looking the maddest he’d ever seen him.

Oh no.

***

“An, this is your young master, Touya. You are to serve him with all your heart until you sleep in the bed he lends you and eat the food he gives you. You curtsey in his presence and you address him by the rules. And this is your fellow servant Akito”

Touya was having deja vu.

An didn’t look like someone who would ever curtsey in her life. Her long black hair was covered with a bandana, and weathered clothes hung off her lean body, clearly taken off taller larger men. She didn’t say hi or thank you. She had her hands in her pockets, clearly resisting the urge to spit on the floor. Akito was overjoyed, and Touya — cautiously optimistic.

Father was staying for three weeks before his next sailing. During this time An found a way to charm everyone in the house, especially Kohane. The story goes that Harumichi tried her cooking on the ship that stayed in the same harbor as his crew, and he just had to have her in his house, cooking for his sickly son.

Kohane gained a spring in her step, every task came easier to her and was met with a smile and a song. Akito couldn’t get enough of An as well, following her in the kitchen like a ginger tail, always asking for more stories of her time sailing with the crew and seeing the world. Touya was happy he had a hearty meal every day, but the dread started to overcome him when each day he had less and less appetite. When An just arrived he could eat three meals a day with no problem. After a month he could barely stomach one plate.

His father was even gloomier than usual. Touya couldn’t help but feel it was his fault. He knew he was expecting Touya to be better by the time he arrived — instead he got progressively worse. What’s more, his only offspring, the heir to Aouyagi residence, was sleeping with a servant boy. Touya couldn’t bring himself to say one word to his father.

Akito didn’t sleep with him anymore.

“An said there is a giant squid in the ocean that is the size of a city and his one tentacle is like two wheat fields…” Akito was sitting on the sofa, while Touya tried to play something on the piano. He couldn’t. Fingers started to ache immediately.

“Really? What else is there?” he was getting annoyed, curling and uncurling his hands into fists.

“Well…” Akito didn’t look at him, throwing a pillow up in the air and catching it, over and over, “There are whole islands of people who eat other people… And there are sirens and mermaids…”

“Mermaids!” Touya slammed the piano cover down with a loud bang. Akito sat up, startled. “I’m so glad there are mermaids! They’re not fictional characters at all if An says so!”

“I think you need to rest, buddy” Akito got up and moved towards Touya, but he stopped him in a gesture.

“No. I am capable of walking. Thank you” He squeezed his eyes shut, then got up from the piano bench and walked over to his bed.

“I think I’ll leave you alone for today, Touya. You’ve had a rough day” Akito sighed and moved towards the door.

“Close it on your way out, be so kind,” Touya said flatly, his back on Akito. There was no response. He heard the door close.

Touya’s eyes were burning with prickling tears. No. No, it’s not going to happen.
He covered himself with the bedsheets.

***

He woke up with a splitting headache, in his day clothes, wrinkled and disheveled. He’s lost track of time a long time ago, ever since the sun was taken away from him, but now he especially couldn’t tell what time it was. Without getting up he pulled on a cord that called to Akito’s room. After all, he was sorry for his outburst yesterday. He’s sure he would understand, they’ve known each other their whole lives. And Akito can’t hold a grudge for a long time. After three, four pulls he wasn’t there. Touya pulled again and again, but nothing. He pulled the cord to ask for Kohane. She was on his doorstep in two minutes.

“Kohane, please, be a dear, I need to talk to Akito, do you know where he is?”

Kohane’s eyes were glued to the floor, ears red. A terrible, nasty pit started to form in Touya’s stomach.

“I’m… I’m afraid I don’t know where he could be, young master. I will call for Master Aouyagi right away, I am sure he will know…”
Without waiting to finish her sentence Kohane bolted out of the room. Touya sat back on the bed. That isn’t right. Why would his dad know…

“Yes, son?” There he was, in the doorframe, larger than life, bigger than Touya would ever feel in his life. Steel eyes clever and intent, face elegant and weathered by his travels. Touya doesn’t think he ever heard him tell a joke in his life.

“Where is Akito? Why wouldn’t Kohane tell me?”

“He’s sailing away with me. I’m taking him as part of my crew for this trip”

“What???” Touya jumps off the bed, ignoring the instant vertigo the sudden move gives him, “You can’t be serious! He’s not a sailor, he’s my friend!”

“He’s my servant first, son, and I ordered him to sail with me. He doesn’t serve in this residence any longer” he’s emotionless, as usual, that stupid face doesn’t move a muscle. Touya wants to claw at it, get his eyes out, scratch him until he bleeds. Give me my Akito back!! GIVE HIM BACK!!

“Will you at least let me say goodbye!? He’s my best friend, don’t you know that??” Touya pleads, mind racing a hundred miles per hour. Maybe he’s lying, maybe he’s trying to gauge a reaction, maybe Akito’s behind that door and it’s all a joke, a test! Or, maybe, it’s all real and they can find a way out if they think about it for a moment, if only he talks to Akito, if he sees him—

“Out of question. He’s on the ship, packing cargo for the trip. We leave in half an hour. You can not go out to the sun, I won’t go back and forth for you two” With that he turns on his heels.

“I noticed you don’t play piano anymore. Shame. I’ll send someone to play it for you”

With that, he’s gone.

Touya’s knees buckle. He falls on the carpet, knees first, with a loud thud. His breathing becomes shallow. He starts to choke.

He took him away.

He took Akito away.

Touya is alone.

Chapter Text

They’ve congregated right on the floor, on a plush carpet in Touya’s bedroom. Everyone sat around the tray with the most beautiful strawberry shortcake Tsukasa had ever seen, a ceramic teapot, four cups, and dessert plates. The cake is decorated with two candles; the wax is dripping on whipped cream.

“Make a wish, Kohane!” An booms, and Kohane laughs in return, squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, and then, with all the vigor she has, blows on the candles. The whole circle erupts in cheers and applause. An gives Kohane a loud kiss on the cheek.

“Happy birthday, my dear! I hope you wished for a vacation for us two, didn’t ya?” She laughs at her own words, and Kohane can’t hide her smile under the usual seriousness.

“Don’t be like that, dear. Besides, if I tell you, it won’t come true.” The tips of her ears turn just a shade redder, and Tsukasa wonders, for the umpteenth time, what is in this girl’s heart, truly.

“I’ve taken the liberty of preparing a gift for you, Kohane. Just to show you my endless gratitude for everything that you’ve done for me and for the friendship. Tsukasa, would you?”

Tsukasa gets up and fetches a small box out of Touya’s wardrobe. It’s not a box, per se, just a folded-up piece of watercolor paper, but they had to work with what they had. He hands it to Kohane, and her hands tremble slightly.

“For me? Master, I don’t need anything from you, truly. You give me a shelter and—”

“No, no, I’m hearing none of it. It’s my gift to you; I won’t take your refusal.” He smiles and looks Kohane in the eye. Tsukasa’s heart squeezes from the tenderness he sees in Touya. How could they be so lucky to get to know him, to get to serve him… He shakes off a sudden wave of fondness.

Kohane bites at her lips as she unfolds the paper. Inside is a gorgeous ivory hair comb, encrusted with golden specks of amber, shining brightly in a candlelight. Kohane’s eyes sparkle.

“Is it really for me? This is so gorgeous, young master, I don’t know what to say…”

Tsukasa hides his smile. Two days ago, Touya requested his help to go through his mother’s chest filled with trinkets and jewelry and find something that would be suitable to gift a girl their age. When Tsukasa emerged with a comb and a pair of sapphire earrings, none of them could remember if she had her ears pierced. But, by the looks of it, Tsukasa was correct in his assessment. Kohane is beaming with happiness, holding a comb in his hands like a treasure. Tsukasa thinks how gorgeous such delicate things look in her petite, slender hands.

They all had a piece of cake with chamomile tea. An was telling some grand story of her sailing in the southern waters and how another adventure took her on a grand quest. Tsukasa wasn’t following closely, truth be told. His eyes kept wandering back to Touya.

He was sitting on his hip on the floor, propping himself up with one hand and holding his teacup in the other. Tsukasa was pleased to see that he ate almost half of his piece of cake. Small steps, but perhaps he didn’t want to trouble Kohane on her special day. Today he was wearing a simple cotton blouse that was too big for him, sleeves rolled up all the way to his elbows, first two buttons on his collar undone, showing just a small glimpse of his delicate collarbones. Just as Tsukasa was about to pay attention to An’s tall tale, Touya returned his gaze. Their eyes locked. Tsukasa felt shivers going down his spine.

Touya had stopped being intimidating on their third day of knowing each other, but the shivers that Tsukasa felt now came not out of fear, not at all. It’s the whirlwind of emotions that Touya stirred in him. He didn’t look annoyed at all. It wasn't strange to him, somehow, that Tsukasa was trying to burn a hole in him with his stare. He just looked back, gaze unwavering, mind unreadable. Tsukasa swallowed his own spit. God, those clever, gorgeous silver eyes. Touya’s face was soft. Inviting. They were friends by now.

“And so, if you ever see real pirates, you better not curse them out in the language they don't speak!” An laughs and slaps her knee; Kohane laughs as well, covering her mouth with her hand. Tsukasa hears Kohane laugh and picks it up, and so does Touya, but An doesn’t look convinced that they’ve heard her at all. She gets up from the floor, taking her tray with her, picking up cups and dirty plates.

“Alright, you rowdy kids, I will take that away from you, and back to work!”

“No, nonsense.” Touya gets up with labored breath, steadying himself on his knee. “I won’t allow it. Please, three of you, go outside and enjoy yourself, it must be so warm by the seaside already. For my sake, take a day off, I am serious. Tsukasa, you too”

“Young master, you’re too generous.” Tsukasa smiles and gives him a small nod of appreciation, and An curtsies with her apron as she does.

“Will you truly be okay without us? What if something happens, who will alert me? Someone should stay, maybe I should stay!” Kohane gets up and reaches to take the tray from An to busy herself, but Touya and An are not having any of it. An doesn’t let her take the tray and Touya comes closer.

“I will be perfectly fine. I will lie in my bed and rest, okay? I will not get up to get into the washroom if you don’t want me, will that be alright?” he’s soft and smiling, all the boyish charm of the aristocracy that he possesses. No one could be powerful enough to resist.

“Young master! Why would you tell me about those crude things! But, if that is your wish…” Her arms fall limp. “I guess I could go for a little stroll.”

“Marvelous!” Touya takes her hands in his. “And, as I said, no work today. I want you to relax and be the beautiful young maiden that you are. Leave your worries with me, will you?”

“I will,” her eyes say that she will try to believe him. The rest is left for An and Tsukasa.

They take Kohane away from the room, wishing Touya farewell.

The young master was right—the weather was outstanding. The sun was so warm he felt hot in his shirt and woolen vest and couldn't imagine how hot the girls were in their attire. An winked at him when she pulled out three bottles of wine out of the cellar and packed up a quarter wheel of cheese, leftover strawberries, and crackers.

“What do you look so constipated for? The big man gave us a free day. Go have a swim, for God’s sake!” She slapped Tsukasa on the back, and he tried his hardest to pretend it didn’t hurt. By the time he packed everything up into a basket and left the house, Kohane was running down a hill to a seaside, barefoot, long skirts in her hands. Her cheerful, sparkling laughter warmed Tsukasa’s heart more than the sunshine.
An was holding her shoes in her hand, walking next to Tsukasa. She shielded her eyes from the sun, trying to get a better look at Kohane. An adoring smile was dancing on her lips, thin eyebrows knitted together in awe. Tsukasa didn’t dare to disturb her.

What does it feel like, he wondered. To love as fiercely and obediently.

“Two of you, come closer! The water is so warm!” Kohane was splashing about at the edge of the ocean, kicking water in the air and laughing to herself so loudly, Tsukasa has never heard her being this joyful. An squeezed her eyes shut.

“This little angel, oh, piano man, my heart just cannot take her…” She suddenly stops and immediately takes off towards the sea. “Kohane!! Get ready to catch me!!”

“Oh no-” is the last thing he hears before An drops the shoes on the ground and runs into Kohane with all her might, tripping them both into the foamy water. They scream in unison, splash water everywhere, and laugh like it is their first day being alive and in love. Tsukasa averts his eyes to not intrude on such intimacy. In the meantime he puts down the cloth for them to sit on, unpacks their food, uncorks the wine.

The girls come back soaking wet from head to toe. Then An said that God will avert his unwavering gaze away from them, since it’s Kohane’s special day, and took all of her clothes off in a swift motion, standing in undergarments alone. Tsukasa’s ears got so red he moved to cover them. He’s never seen a maiden his age take her clothes off in front of him like that. He was trying to parse his feelings, but An wouldn’t give him an easy time at all.

“Oh, piano man, are you a prude now? Come on, I think you want to shag me as much as I want to shag you!”

“Oh my Lord, An!” Kohane gasped, “Would you stop scandalizing me on my birthday of all days?!”

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry for my harsh words, but would you disagree?” She cooed softly to Kohane, taking her by hand.

Kohane took one one hard look at Tsukasa, with absolutely no interest in her eyes.

“You’re right, dear. I wouldn't,” she said then and took off her dress as well, leaving only her linen shirt and undergarments.

“What are all of you talking about?!” Tsukasa’s voice rose with confusion. In all of his living, he couldn’t imagine his first encounter with a maiden taking her clothes off would go like that.

An takes in a breath as if she wants to say something but quickly breathes out and laughs to herself. She lies down on the cloth next to Tsukasa, putting her arms behind her head.

“I just trust you, is all,” she says with a smile. Kohane sits next to her, picks up the bottle Tsukasa opened, and takes a swig. She also has a knowing smile on her face.

They spend the whole day by the seaside. The girls swim together, holding each other's hands, splashing, and diving underwater. They bring the prettiest shells to Tsukasa, and An promises to make pendants and earrings with them for their wedding with Kohane, right there on the seaside. They finish their bottles of wine, and An’s teasing knows no end, but she’s never mean to him, never malicious. Tsukasa wonders how deeply Kohane softened her hard-shelled sailor heart.

When the sun starts to lean closer to the waterline and the skies turn pink and golden, the two of them sit together, finishing the last of their strawberries. Kohane picks flowers in a grass patch nearby, trying to dry herself in the evening breeze.

Tsukasa’s face hurts from all the laughing and from the salty air. He feels rugged, although he was sitting in one spot the whole day. An looks out into the horizon. She speaks up suddenly.

“Between you and me, piano man. I would suggest not getting your hopes up with the prince. For your own peace of mind, you don't want it. Unless you're good with sails and ropes, you better stay away.”

Tsukasa’s heart skips a beat. He feels a chill in his stomach.

“I do not have any hopes; I wouldn’t even know what you’re referring to…” His voice is small, and for some reason he doesn’t know where to put his eyes. The clothes also feel too hot all of a sudden.

“Are we lying to each other now? Well. Just remember what I said, aight?” She pats him on a bent knee with a mighty force, then gets up and starts to pack up their belongings back into the basket. “My angel!! We’re heading home; start putting your dress back on!”

On the way to the mansion, Tsukasa trails behind the girls up the hill. He tries to put together the reason for An's words to him. The small blue fire of protest burns deep in his stomach. Why can’t he have his hopes up? Touya is not a cold statue; he’s warm and alive and takes a liking to Tsukasa, and he himself is not a village bumpkin, he can hold a conversation and he makes Touya laugh and so many things that An just cannot see.

They’re good friends now. And Tsukasa does not dare to ask for more.

***

Tsukasa’s back was getting tired from slouching in front of the piano. He played everything he could and couldn’t remember and improvised the saddest and coziest lullabies. He tried to play as quietly as he possibly could. No use at all.

Touya was seated upright, seas of worry in his grey eyes. It’s been raining all day. The waves crashed with such might they could hear it behind closed windows.

His master’s heart was not in the right place; there was nothing to soothe. He’s been scratching his fingernails for a straight hour, not even following Tsukasa’s playing with his taps, like he usually would.

“What is the matter, young master?” Tsukasa turned towards Touya, “ Too much on your mind?”

“Is it that obvious?” Touya smiled weakly, then looked down at his scratched-up hands. “Nothing, really. I’ve just… I have not been feeling like myself today.”

Tsukasa stood up from the bench and came closer, perching himself on the edge of Touya’s bed, next to his legs. The urge to wrap his hands around Touya was very close to irresistible. To be given a moment to hug his fragile body, to cover him in warmth. Would that soothe or scare him? Would that feel like a relief or like a burden?

“Or, rather, I’ve been feeling very lost…” He's still fiddling with his thumbs. “It gets exhausting, living in my body.”

The urge overcomes him, and Tsukasa puts his hand on Touya’s cold foot over the blanket and strokes it gently. He half expects Touya to flinch, but he doesn’t seem to react at all. Tsukasa doesn’t say a thing.

“And, now I’m burdening you with all my gloominess… Would you forgive me?” He raises his eyes on Tsukasa, defeated, exhausted circles under his eyes, shoulders sunk.

“Oh, don’t say that!” Tsukasa props himself on his hands and tries his luck again. He sits himself right next to Touya, head drowning in plush pillows. They’re face-to-face now, propped up on the bed. Tsukasa is still in his dress shoes, and he has the decency to get them off with his toes and throw them on the floor. “How can you be a burden? You are a dear friend of mine.”

Touya’s usually stormy eyes are now suddenly clear. The sun comes up upon the ocean after the storm. His face is always all shades of pale, but- what is that Tsukasa sees? Could his eyes deceive him? He notices a small, barely-there blush on the tips of Touya’s ears.

His heart flips around in his ribcage.

“You are a dear friend to me too, Tsukasa,” he says, whispery, almost out of breath. His eyes are jumping around Tsukasa’s face, that usual sick glisten in them almost gone. Tsukasa feels the heat rise up to his cheeks all of a sudden. Was he always that prone to blushing?

He coughs, clears his throat, and averts his face to the bookshelf. One second more of those gorgeous eyes on him and, he knows, his face would go ablaze.

“I haven’t read to you in a while, have I?” He jumps off the bed and comes up to the shelves, still making sure Touya couldn’t see his red face. “Let’s see what we have here…” He has no idea what he has here. Touya’s gentle eyes and blushing ears are still in front of him. His stomach twists in treacherous knots.

To be given a moment to… No, he can’t even start to entertain the thought.

“You really are not obliged, Tsukasa. I assure you, I will be fine tonight…” Touya’s voice is small, barely there.

“Nonsense!” he answers too loudly to the bookshelf. “It wouldn’t be the drag from the last time, I promise!” He tries for a joke, unsure of himself—would that even be appropriate? So he quickly says something else, “Look, a book of stories! Would you like to hear a normal, fine, not painful story today, young master?” He still has his back to Touya, and his voice is still too loud.

“If only you insist,” Touya’s voice is smiling. Tsukasa lets out a shaky breath and pulls the first book off the shelf.

“Well then! Get comfortable! A really thrilling story is coming!” He turns around and realizes that he can’t make himself sit next to Touya anymore, or he will die from embarrassment. Dear God, how could you let him sit there in the first place?!

He looks down at the book he’d picked from the shelf and squints at its cover. “The Comprehensible List of Noble Families.” He blinks. His body is too big and lanky all of a sudden; he can’t stand the indecency of turning back to the shelf and picking something else. His mind goes blank. He stands right where he stood, next to Touya’s bed, and starts flipping through the pages.

“Let’s see… Mhm…. What is the most soothing story here…” In reality all the pages are covered in walls of small text that look painfully dull. For a moment he thinks, would he be able to bore Touya to sleep?

“Are you going to stand there?” Touya smiles. Tsukasa raises his eyes at him, and his heart flips again.

“Perhaps I am,” he says dumbly.

“Well, perhaps you shouldn't.” Touya scoots over to the side and puts his hand on the empty space next to him. “Please.”

Tsukasa sees a small tremble in his pale hand. A warm wave crushes in his stomach at that. He is nervous too.

“Only by your insistence, young master,” he says and sits back on the bed, placing the book on his thighs. He inhales and exhales, trying to slow down his unruly heart. He’s not being chased by a pack of feral dogs; what are these nerves for?

Touya covers himself in blankets up to his chin and sighs in turn. He looks up at the ceiling and then closes his eyes.

“What are you going to read to me today?” His voice is smiling but still small.

Tsukasa looks down at the book. No, he doesn’t have the heart to bore Touya with this.

“It’s a fairy tale,” he hears himself saying, “about passions and adventures.”

“Really?” Touya asks the ceiling, “What is the title?”

Tsukasa looks up from the dull pages to his young master. His lashes are long and straight, his chiseled nose blushes just a little, his eyes are kind.

It doesn’t even take him a beat.

“The Silver Prince,” Tsukasa answers, and after a moment it catches up to him.
He can make up a story as he goes, can’t he?

“I do not remember reading this one, indeed.” Touya smiles and closes his eyes now, turning on his side to Tsukasa. “Cannot wait to know what it is about.”

Tsukasa blinks in silent prayer for a moment. And then he starts.

“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away…”

And here he goes... The Silver Prince goes to hell and back for his kingdom; he slays dragons and chimeras in the name of love, in the name of justice. He sails the oceans, and he comes victorious out of every fight. He laughs in the face of danger, and he kisses the loving hands of his people. He can shoulder anything; he can take the moon from the skies if you ask him to. He’s humble and kind, but he’s ruthless and strong. He waltzes with princesses and throws feasts for his knights. He knows no fear and no defeat. When he marches into towns people throw roses at his feet and when he leaves they sing hymns in his honor.

Tsukasa looks down at Touya. His eyes are closed, lashes tremble, like he’s dreaming already, his hand tucked under his cheek. Tsukasa’s heart swells. He looks back at his lists of noble families.

“And when the Prince finally comes back to his castle, he meets his beloved after such a long wait…” he whispers, trying not to move a muscle. He then waits a bit, listening to Touya’s quiet breath. “His noble men wait for him at the main entrance, but he sneaks in the back of the castle, where no one would think to look. And then the Prince meets his beloved and…” Tsukasa sneaks a final glance at Touya. “He takes his arms and looks him deep in the eyes.
I will never leave you again, he says. I will never leave you. Not for the gold and riches of faraway lands, not for the glory, not for the sea. I will stay right where you are until death parts us.”

He sighs, softly closing the book. That is it for today. He wants to mention Beloved’s shiny blond hair with crimson strands or a wicked talent in piano playing, but it’s too late. Touya’s fallen asleep already, and he himself doesn’t want to linger too much. But he hates to go to his own room now. It feels too cold and tiny now that he felt soft plush sheets on Touya’s bed. Ugh. He’s becoming too self-indulgent in this house.
As he moves to the edge of the bed, Touya stirs in his sleep.

“Stay” he mumbles, searches for Tsukasa’s hand on the bed, and squeezes it.

Tsukasa closes his eyes and turns around. Touya is fast asleep, still a hand curled under his cheek. His other hand is holding Tsukasa, the grip getting softer with each moment.

It would take inhuman might to say no to this. It’s impolite, also.

Tsukasa moves the book out of the way and curls up on the bed next to Touya. Their faces are inches apart from each other. He can count each of his lashes, and he can pinpoint where each freckle would be on his nose and cheeks if the young master would’ve been allowed just a little bit of sun. He looks at pale pink lips, dry and bitten, glistening with spit on the edges. His mouth is just slightly opened, breathing in and out.

“You don't have to be lost,” Tsukasa whispers, barely audible, “I found you, and now you're mine, Touya.” I would give it all away for you. To give you a moment of rest.

He closes his eyes as the wave of calmness washes over him. He gives Touya’s hand a gentle squeeze.

He dreams of clover fields and horses.

Chapter Text

Tsukasa feels someone shaking him by the shoulder with great might. He jumps up, eyes still blurry from sleep. He can’t tell up from down and stumbles on his feet, falling back onto bed.

“What in the-” he starts, but someone covers his mouth with a hand. He blinks up again and sees An in front of him, face stern. 

He is still in Touya’s bedroom. The candles are still lit up, so it couldn't have been more than a couple hours since he fell asleep. 

“Just how did I know to look for you here, huh? Get up, piano man, we want to take you somewhere” An whispers. She releases him, taking away her hand from his mouth.

She’s dressed in her favorite cotton dress shirt and slacks that Touya gave away to her. Hair tied back. She even put some kind of black powder around her eyes. 

“Is that some pirate tradition?” Tsukasa looks up closer to her face.

“Is that pianomen tradition to ask dumb questions? Ever heard of makeup? Stop whispering in the prince’s bed, let’s go!” 

She yanks him by the hand and leads into the corridor. 

“Would you mind expl-”

“Want to go to the Fire Dance with us?” she asks now in her hoarse hushed voice.

“What?” 

“Fire Dance. It’s a tradition in the village, Kohane told me about it. Do you wanna go?”

Tsukasa looks up and down at her.

“Should I dress up for the occasion?”

An breathes out. “I don’t know, but Kohane did. She’s waiting for us at the entrance, so you don’t have time anyway” she pats him hard on his shoulder and moves forward, towards the stairs, “and you look great, by the way”

“Thank you, thank you” he pinches himself lightly on the palm, just to make sure that he doesn’t dream of An taking him on a sudden rendezvous in the middle of the night. He tries to straighten out the wrinkles on his sleeves with his palms, but it’s fruitless. He follows An down the stairs. Was there a choice to say no, he wonders?

True to An’s words, Kohane is standing at the entrance door, waiting for them. She’s in a yellow sundress with a white petticoat and bell sleeves. Tsukasa has never seen her in anything this charming. 

“Good, finally. Please, hurry, my dear, the faster we’ll come the faster we’ll go home!” She rushes them outside, closing the door behind them with a heavy lock. 

“Aren’t you afraid of leaving Touya alone?” Tsukasa asks while they’re pacing down the hill. Kohane sucks up air through her teeth.

“Of course I am, that is why we’re in a hurry! Come on, just two jumps and we’re going straight back!” 

“Now why would you agitate her even more? My angel, he’s fast asleep, this blondie just kissed him goodnight, he will be out like a light until late morning!” An takes long steps next to pacing Kohane.

“Two jumps to where?” Tsukasa asks, “Where are you taking me?” He's trying to keep up with An’s pace, but it’s hard when you woke up two minutes ago.

“You’ll see” is all Kohane says and for a moment they walk in silence. “Did you really kiss him?” She turns her head to Tsukasa.

“Cross my heart, Kohane, I didn’t touch him!” Tsukasa’s voice is loud in the dark of night.

“Yes, except for holding his majesty’s delicate hand, of course” An looks up to the stars, as if she’s talking to herself.

“Do you mind!?” Tsukasa wants to sound annoyed, but Kohane’s laughter softens his heart.

“If that makes him fall asleep faster, by any means, Tsukasa. Give him a hickey for all I care if he’s going to have a full meal after that!”

Tsukasa can’t help but laugh in return. Crisp air makes him giddy, gives a spring to his step. Everything feels so, not real. On the edge of unreality. Like he’s still dreaming and sleepwalking, maybe. Or like they’re doing something forbidden, creating a big shared secret. He takes in air and it sparkles in his lungs.

When they finally reach the outskirts of the village, it doesn’t take long to realise what Fire Dance is. He hears the sounds of drums and guitars humming in the night and finally sees a giant fire in the middle of a large field. People are sitting around it on massive logs, on rocks, some brought their chairs. Girls and boys from the village are dancing around it, some in pairs, some alone. And, from time to time, someone takes up in the air and jumps, right through the flames, on the other side. The girls squeal after jumping, the boys laugh and pat each other on the backs with delighted grunts. Some girls make flower crowns and give them away to anyone they deem worthy. Some boys are cooking up potatoes and fish in the flame, picking at it with sticks.

Tsukasa takes in the air and smiles. It smells like burnt wood and wildflowers.

“Kohane!!” a girl from the crowd jumps up and runs straight to them, “Folks, Kohane is here!”

“And she took An as well!” An laughs as the girl jumps in Kohane’s arms, spinning her round, “It’s been so long, huh, Emu? Forgot all about me?”

“Don’t be silly, An! I love you so-so much!” The girl bear hugs An, swaying her from side to side. An pats her on the back with a grin.

“This is Tsukasa. This is Emu.” Kohane stands between them. Tsukasa gives Emu a big smile and she returns it in spades.

“Are you that guy that plays piano? So cool!” She takes him by the hand and tugs him towards the fire. “As you’re new here, you will jump first!”

“Wait-wait-wait! I need instructions and time to prepare! Don’t throw me into flames!” Tsukasa tries to pry his hand away, but Emu’s grip is unyielding. He takes him to the flame and steps back.

“There is nothing to it! Just take off and jump!” she claps her hands in anticipation.

Tsukasa flails his arms in protest, stepping back. “At least show me how to do it first!”

“Okay!” Emu grins and, as she takes off for a jump, Tsukasa bolts away from her and sits down on a log next to other kids. Emu leaps in the air with a giant smile on her face, the orange glow of the flames dancing in her eyes and on her tanned skin. When it almost looks like she’s going to catch on fire, she’s already on the other side, jumping up and down, Kohane smiling next to her. 

Tsukasa relaxes, now that the attention isn’t on him. He looks up at the sky and the air glows white and yellow and orange, and the stars are shining so bright. He breathes out. The music is so nice to hear as well, he hasn’t heard live music, that wasn’t him playing, for what feels like ages. And the people around are sweet and inviting. A boy looks at him from one of the chairs to his right and smiles. Tsukasa nods and smiles back. He wishes he had something to drink as well — for the nerves, when Emu eventually will make him jump through the fire.

The music turns faster and livelier and many kids jump up from their seats and start dancing around the fire. Some alone, some in couples. Girls sway their skirts back and forth, boys clap their hands and jump around. Tsukasa looks up and sees Kohane hanging on An, arms thrown around her neck, like they’re listening to an entirely different, very slow and sensual song. Will she reach for the kiss, he wonders? Would that scandalise or entice Kohane? That is something he ought to find out today, so he sits back, propped on hands, and watches them sway.

“Is this place taken?”

The guy that has been watching him from afar now stands in front of him. He’s tall, much taller than Tsukasa, girls put a flower crown on his head, his bushy purple hair cut uneven and he smiles like a cat that got away with stealing meat from the butcher’s. His amber eyes seem to glow in the dark, even if it’s just a reflection of a fire. 

“Not at all” Tsukasa smiles and moves a bit to the side to make way for the stranger. He sits down and immediately turns to Tsukasa, effortlessly resting his head on his hand. 

“I’ve seen you coming down with Kohane and An. I miss having them around in the village” he blinks slowly, “Are you good friends with them?”

“Well, yes, we work in the same house” Tsukasa feels the heat rush from his neck up to his head. Those blinks, the way he holds his other hand just an inch away from Tsukasa’s thigh, this deep, sultry tone of voice…

“Oh, really? Is your ghost master treating you well?” the guy’s eyes sparkle and he doesn’t seem malicious at all, or maybe Tsukasa has lost his ability to read people for good. “Does he treat you better than our boy Akito?”

As if Aktio ever got bad treatment, Tsukasa thinks bitterly and gets mad at himself for the dumb invasive thought.

“I am looked after, thank you” he tries his most charming smile and the guy sighs, like he’s content with the answer.

“Is that so? Do you want to see who dances better? Me or him?” he motions to the space next to the fire with just his eyes. Tsukasa blushes in earnest this time. When was the last time he was flirted with so aggressively? Was there ever a last time?

“Oh, I am sorry, I really don’t feel up for it” Tsukasa looks down to his feet and hopes his blush can be mistaken for the fire glow. 

“What is it? Would you rather dance with a girl?” The guy is playing with a button on Tsukasa’s sleeve and stops in anticipation of an answer.

“Oh, no, I would be more than pleased to dance with you” Tsukasa meets the guy’s eyes, “Do not mistake me for… Someone else…” he finishes awkwardly, “I just… It wouldn’t feel right to do so, is all”

“Oh, I see” the guy straightens his back, “is your heart taken already?” 

Tsukasa looks back down and the guy smiles in resignation. “Well, I see. I ought to meet this damned ghost that takes pretty innocent boys and turns them into lovers!” 

“Hey, who said anything about—”

“Or future lovers” he stands up and gives his hand to Tsukasa “Let’s dance anyway. The night is young and I won’t tell anyone. Promise”

Tsukasa couldn’t say no to this wicked smile. He takes the guy’s hand and jumps to his feet.

“If only for this song” he says and they move together, all smiles and soft glances. The guy is a good dancer, although his moves are a bit too relaxed. He holds his own and doesn’t feel awkward in his body at all, despite his height. Tsukasa is no slouch himself, but he doesn’t even want to show off or make a spectacle. If anything, he doesn’t want to invite Emu’s attention again, lest she wants to sacrifice him in the flames again. 

After a while the girls decide that they should join hands and dance around the fire in a circle. Tsukasa takes the guy’s hand and the girl who’s been making flower crowns in the corner. They dance together, slowly walking in a circle at first, but then speeding up, faster and faster, until Tsukasa feels his feet barely touching the ground. He looks in front of him and the girl’s eyes are big and happy, reflecting the glow of the fire. He looks behind and the guy doesn’t have this put upon sly smile, he’s beaming with genuine happiness and glee. Tsukasa tries to look around for An and Kohane and there they are — all smiles and laughter opposite him, holding hands. He hears the guitar go higher and higher, the drums picking up pace and he feels like he’s flying. Like he could take his feet off the ground and the circle will get him up in the air. He starts laughing, despite himself. He laughs and the sound of his laughter is muffled by music and other voices, the wind and the crackling of the fire. He feels the crisp cold night air on his ears and the heat of the fire on his cheeks. He feels like he can do anything. Like all of this is so simple. 

When the dancing stops there is still buzzing and tingling in his head and on his fingertips. Somehow Emu is just right next to him, tugging on his sleeve, inviting him to dance some more.

“I am going to do it, Emu. I’m jumping” he laughs and wipes his forehead, where hair got stuck with his sweat. Emu squeals something delighted and shoos everyone off his way. Tsukasa takes a couple steps back. The fire is as big and unyielding as it was when he saw it for the first time, if not bigger. It crackles and spits sparks in the dark air. It beckons him with immense power. Do it, it says, will you always be this scared, piano boy?

He laughs to himself again, spits on the ground, takes one, two big steps, gains momentum and— 

He’s in the air. The giant fire licks at his feet and his bent knees, threatens to burn hairs on his arms, to swallow him whole. But he doesn’t listen. He looks up ahead and how all the girls and boys look up at him, watching him. How he almost, almost flies. His chest is buzzing with lit oil and fireworks. His head is floating in space. He wants to laugh and his eyes are prickling with tears. This is so, so much.

His landing isn’t perfect, he falls on one knee and gets it dirty with soot. But then he hears the cheers of everyone around him, Emu runs up to hug him, An hoots and hollers from afar, the guy claps and looks at him in approval. The girl whose hand he was holding in the circle shuffles up to him and places a dandelion flower crown on his head, smiling and blushing. Her own crown glowing against her long seafoam hair. Tsukasa beams and hugs her as well.

“Nene deemed you worthy of a crown! You’re one of us!” the guy screams and Tsukasa’s chest is about to burst with a million shooting stars. 

After that the glow of the fire subsided, everyone had a bite of potatoes and fish that were cooking in the pit, and all the drinks were emptied, Tsukasa was lounging on the big log, following the embers with his eyes. His head was pleasantly empty, buzzing with this Something. Like there was an unscratched itch or, maybe he was drunk. Or he really wants to get himself a lover, that can be it too. 

After a while, Kohane sits next to him. At some point Nene gifted her a flower crown of forget-me-nots — beautiful flowers against her light sandy hair.

“Do you feel better?”

“Yes”

“I’m glad”, she splays her legs forward and looks up at the sky. They share a silent moment for a while. Tsukasa looks up as well and tries to remember the constellations his mother taught him.

“Did Touya ask you to sleep with him today?” Kohane jolts him from the calm.

“Yes”, he’s trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. After all, there is nothing to it. He has nothing to hide.

“I’m glad for it too” she says and there is no hidden meaning, no malice or reproach. 

They share the silence again, but Tsukasa can feel Kohane is mulling something over in her head. He stays quiet. 

After a long moment, she speaks up again:

“I think you should go for it" she says, earnestly, "I know An is talking you out of it, but I disagree” She looks at him now, “We can't know how much time he has left, God forgive me. I think it will do good. I can't stand thinking about a young master having this much unfinished deed before passing" she looks away, "to give your soul to God without ever kissing anyone, could you imagine?"

"Sounds like sinful talk" Tsukasa coughs a laugh, trying to ease himself. All reminders about Touya’s mortality ought to quickly bring him back to Earth.

"Well, have you ever been kissed?" She looks at him again. What is it, is she trying to gauge the answer from his expression? Tsukasa sighs in good spirits.

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, haven’t you known?” He crosses his arms on his chest and Kohane shakes her head.

“I’ll take it as a no. But, between you and me, piano man” she drops her voice an octave and tries to imitate a vague pirate accent, “It feels real good…”

Tsukasa laughs and can’t even stay mad at the insinuation that he is an unkissed virgin. Well, what if he is? He is not, strictly speaking. He kissed girls, many of them. On a bet, out of friendship, out of perceived love, out of kindness, out of jealousy. Sometimes out of the feeling of his own inadequacy. But did he ever…? No. That is also partially why that guy’s flirtation definitely caught him off guard. The initial worry of What would God think over the time morphed into What would Everyone think and the feeling got kept at the back of his mind, unseen and unspoken, for his own good. 

Until, of course, he stumbled in head first into his young master’s bedroom.

“So, yes. If you want a word of advice from someone who knows our young master closest, I’m giving you it”, she pats Tsukasa on the knee and stands up, “Now, we’ve been here for too long anyway. I’m going to fetch An until she makes a bride out of every girl in the village, please, wait for us up the hill”

Tsukasa smiles, stands up and heads to the direction of their house.

On his way, the guy from before catches him one last time, tells him that his name is Rui and if he needs a steam-powered automaton to play piano in his stead, he can seek him in the village any day. Tsukasa just nods, dumbfounded. Is he in some kind of enchanted land with sleeping beauties, pirates and wizards?!

***

It’s been cloudy outside all day. Tsukasa had been sleepwalking most of the day, but he couldn’t show it, because Touya was in a remarkably good mood. He was whistling something all day, had a full meal and even asked Tsukasa to help him move to the library. There he was, consumed by a book for a good four hours now. Tsukasa was eyeing him from his nook where he was sorting out old handwritings of Master Harumichi. The man turned out to be quite a skilled composer, but he stashed all of his writings in one obscure paper binder in the back of the bookshelf. Tsukasa fished it out by pure chance, looking for something to keep his mind occupied, lest he fall asleep. When he inspected the music sheets more closely, his mood almost changed for the worse. The handwriting was precise and neat, but the pieces themselves made Tsukasa uneasy. It was all chaotic, dark, stormy, exactly like Touya was describing his father’s playing. It truly felt like the man was at war with a piano. His head almost started to hurt when he tried to piece the notes together. But he didn’t want to bother Touya with his findings — he would rather chew his own arm off than put Touya in a bad mood.

But now his mind was awake with other ideas. He suddenly felt very compelled to see Touya play. He knew it would be glorious — young master’s fingers are so delicate and his soul so gentle, there is no way on God’s earth he would torture the instrument the way his father used to. The thought captured him. He was sitting on the floor in front of the bookshelf, putting together the papers he had scattered, but his eyes kept wandering back to Touya. He was pinching the paper with his middle and index fingers, deep in reading. Tsukasa couldn’t take his eyes off those hands. What do they feel like, he wondered? They’re cold, definitely, like Touya always is, and he touched his hands before, of course. But his mind started to wander. Holding hands is one thing, but how would they feel on his wrist? On his neck? How would it feel if Touya spread his fingers on Tsukasa’s chest and gently moved them on his skin, then down on his pectorals, then to stomach, where he’s ticklish, then down, down…

He blinked. Touya flipped the page of his book. Tsukasa felt his mouth go dry. He went back to Master Harumichi’s storms on the page. That was entirely too early in the day for those kinds of thoughts. 

But as the day turned to evening, they were playing cards on the sofa in Touya’s room. The young master was squinting at the cards a bit harder than last time; Tsukasa couldn’t help but notice with a pang in his heart. The dim and the quiet of this house would never let you escape your thoughts, you will always be face to face with them. He wondered if that was just as painful for the young master as the sunlight on his skin. 

“It appears you win again” Touya lowers his head to the cards on the sofa between them and Tsukasa looks in turn. Huh.

“As it would seem, young master” he smiles and shuffles all the cards back together in one pile. Touya crosses his arms in resignation.

“Ah, I’m glad we’re not making any bets. Otherwise, by the end of day you would be the owner of this house” he smiles and Tsukasa immediately looks at him with a devilish smile, “What? I am sorry, did I give you treacherous ideas? Don’t look at me like that!” 

“Oh, it’s nothing…” Tsukasa playfully lowers his eyes, as if to look at the cards he’s shuffling, “but if you want to raise the stakes, I have something or other in mind…”

“What is it?” Touya leans forward, propping himself on his hands.

“Oh, a small indulgence of mine, nothing extraordinary” he put his cards down and looked up at Touya, “I want you to play piano”

The flame of excitement in Touya’s eyes wavered. “Tsukasa, do not be mean to me, I ask you. You know it is not possible” 

“I know It is not possible, young master” Tuskasa was not budging, “But I can work my magic and make it possible” his smile is wide and he hopes it dissuades Touya’s worry. 

And, luckily, the young master is ready to play along.

“Will this magic of yours make me like An’s tuna soup by any chance? I would give many riches for that” he smiles in return and it is not a sure expression. Tsukasa wonders if Touya still expects some kind of foul play from him. 

“I wield magic, but it has its reasonable limits” Tsukasa’s eyes are big and Touya laughs. “Are you ready to play?”

“Alright. And what if I win?”

“What do you want then?” Tsukasa takes the cards back from the sofa. Touya’s eyes are unreadable.

“I’ll tell you when I win” he says then and his voice is quiet, like he’s trying to reserve something. Tsukasa sighs and gives out the cards. 

They play a round of King’s Corner and Tsukasa tries to pay attention for once. It’s easy to see that the young master was socialized to play much more sophisticated games and in bridge or poker he would be ruthless, but in simple games for two his experience is next to none. Perhaps, he’s also indulging Tsukasa, just a little. 

When Tsukasa throws his last card on the sofa between them, Touya sighs in defeat and smiles. 

Tsukasa jumps up and punches his fist through the air. “No one challenges Tsukasa The Pegasus! The greatest of all time!” He triumphantly nods and cracks his fingers, settling down, “Admirable attempt, young master, too bad it was in vain. I am weeping for you” he can’t wipe away a pleased smirk off his face. Touya will play piano for him, and, finally, Tsukasa will see his young master in his full glory. He vibrates in excitement.

“Oh, you look down right distraught because of my loss, indeed” Touya’s eyes are soft, as usual. His pride could never get hurt because of Tsukasa’s flamboyancy, even at its worst and most annoying. 

“I can’t deny, I am quite glad to win” Tsukasa settles down and looks Touya in the eyes. He looks at him back. A beat. 

Touya is waiting for Tsukasa’s magic. Tsukasa is completely paralyzed by his soft gaze.

When the beat passes, Tsukasa comes to himself. Touya bites his lower lip, fidgets with his remaining cards. 

“Would you sit on the bench, young master?” Tsukasa finally says and tries to pour all of his charm into his words. By a wrinkle between Touya’s brows he realizes that he laid on too much charm. But Touya gets up, propping himself on the back of the sofa and in a couple slow steps sits himself on the piano bench. Tsukasa’s soul sings for he didn’t even need to help him. Perhaps, after all, his magic is indeed real.

Touya opens up the cover and looks down at the polished keys. He’s slouching a little uncharacteristically, his face is wistful, eyes are clouded with something Tsukasa doesn’t wish to recognise. 

He comes closer to Touya, stands behind his back. His blood runs cold and sparkles shoot in his veins up the arms and along the spine. It’s not fear, it’s something more. The precipice of unknowingness. 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to see me play from there” Touya tries to joke, but Tsukasa lowers closer to him.

“Put your hands on the keys for me, please” he says in a low voice and Touya shifts in his seat, but puts his fingers on the keys. Tsukasa wished he could see his face right now.

“What do you have in mind, what do you want to play?” 

“I…” Touya’s voice sounds distant for a second and then he coughs, “In all honesty my hands are itching for Air”

“Then you should play it” he breathes out, then presses his chest to Touya’s back ever so slightly, and he feels the jolt of electricity shock him in his ribcage. It is so different from holding him. It is so much more. He reaches his hands around and puts his fingers on Touya’s. His fingers are cold, as usual, and trembling.  Tsukasa presses firmly.

“Let us start then”

And then they play. It is a slow rendition, given the circumstances, too sombre, but when Touya reaches for the high notes and Tsukasa struggles to stretch his fingers this far and prays to hold onto his hands, it still feels natural. Even if his forearms are cramping and even if he’s afraid to breathe, as his head is basically lying on Touya’s shoulder. Touya guides him and Tsukasa presses keys for him. So there isn’t any pain in playing. So there isn’t any harm. 

Touya’s form, despite everything, is perfect. His posture has been immaculate from the second the first note rang out, his elbows are at a perfect angle. His hair smells like incense and like wildflowers. It is so soft against Tsukasa’s cheek but it burns his skin, makes him blush all over. Touya’s reaching for lower notes and the air is thick with held breaths and stifled voices and thumping heartbeats that now seem to reach perfect unison. Touya’s cheeks are flushed. He reaches for high notes again and for Tsukasa to follow he has to lean lower, lower, until they are cheek to cheek. He feels the heat that rises from Touya’s face and realises he must be crimson himself. The melody gains its pace as they get more accustomed to playing in such a manner and Tsukasa feels with his chest that Touya takes a deep breath. Tsukasa braces himself. 

Much more sooner than Tsukasa would wish, the piece comes to an end. Touya’s fingers move slower and slower, making the melody unrecognizable, but Tsukasa was grateful for it. When the piece ends, they will have to come to themselves and give the explanations for the blush and uneven gasps for air and averted eyes. So, he wants the moment to last. 

When Touya puts his index finger on the last key and Tsukasa presses it for him, the sound rings out in the quiet of the room and dissipates in the air. But no one moves a muscle. Now, Tsukasa realises, when the piece is over, he is not helping Touya play, he’s just resting his hands on top of his. When the piece is over, his head is just lying on Touya’s shoulder and it’s not the playing that makes his breaths come out shallow. Touya doesn’t move either. All of his muscles are tense, the eyes are lowered and unblinking. 

He’s waiting, Tsukasa realises. He’s waiting for him.

What would it be, piano boy? Will you crawl out like a coward or will you jump?

He turns his face, slowly, as slowly as he can and he feels that Touya turns to him as well. There is no space between them at all, Touya’s face blurs in front of him and he swears he can feel the trembling of his lashes on his cheek. Touya closes his eyes. Tsukasa closes in turn. 

His pulse thumps in his ears and he swears the whole house can hear it. He can’t believe what he’s about to dare to do. 

When their lips meet, it is like an avalanche. A first unsure press of the lips, and Touya’s lips are so soft and sweet and bitten, and the second Tsukasa imagines he made it all up and misread everything, after a few snowballs comes down a snowstorm. Touya breathes out through his nose and kisses him back. He’s gentle and sweet, but then he gets the taste of it, deepens the kiss with such vigor Tsukasa’s heart skips. He kisses him in earnest, taking him in, making Tsukasa’s eyes roll back into his skull. Tsukasa curls his fingers so now they’re holding hands and Touya smiles in the kiss and leans in harder, takes more of what’s his, gasps for it. Tsukasa would never, in a million years, imagine his master as such a passionate kisser. But he gives him everything that he wants and more, and in a second’s time they have to part and escape the avalanche, gasping for air, a tread of saliva connecting their lips. Tsukasa licks it up. Touya’s eyes are two lit up matches.

Touya swallows thickly and breathes out.

“You don’t have any idea how long I wanted to do that” his voice is hoarse and quiet. Tsukasa wants to kiss him again immediately.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I saw you” he says in earnest and Touya’s face gets lit up, his smile is wide.

“That makes two of us then”

He reaches for the kiss again and Tsukasa wouldn’t dream of denying him.

He would give him the kisses, the heart, the ocean, the stars and the moon, if only he was to ask.

It was all rightfully Prince’s.