Archive of Our Own ^beta

The room was silent. There was some difference from when Rosalyne left. No fights, no arguments, all Harbingers were just standing with their heads bowed down. The Regrator was right next to the Doctor and only two of them were exchanging words. Others seemed to be listening to them unconsciously.

“I know that the matter going to have a consequences, lot of them, however there is nothing we can do about it right now.” Spoke my greyish-haired colleague.

“Let's finish our conversation later, Regrator, I’m not interested in talking any longer.” Answered Dottore and turned his head away from the Regrator’s.

The place went silent again. The snow behind the window was falling harder than just mere yesterday, I could swear. Mist was all over region, slowly moving down to flood the valleys. In other case the stars would be seen perfectly. However, with their heads bowed, Harbingers wouldn’t see them anyway.

Back in the room, it was cold. The chilling feeling that everybody has definitely known for already so long, was right now so foreign. Even tears, I swore I saw in not one eye, were almost freezing on others faces.

Pantalone’s head was resting on Dottore’s shoulder, while ruby-eyed man was staring on huge heavy marble object under the window. Thought I couldn’t say it precisely.

Little girl, whose hair are coloured pink at the bottom, was standing next to Knave and he was holding her hand tightly. His right hand was covering his eyes. Crying, I bet. The Damslette wasn’t singing unlike last time. It seemed like she could only get out quiet crying and whimpers.

Sandore was watching from one of the corners. She didn’t ride her ruin guard. Her eyes were closed and she let tears fall down her cheeks.

Young Tartaglia sat down on floor a moment ago. Rooster stood above him and was lightly patting ginger’s head. His eyes were not wet, rather frozen. Sometimes whisper came out from his lips saying to the Childe things like it’ll be okay. The boy didn’t cry, he couldn’t bring himself to it. We barely knew each other.

.

.

.

I could say that again. We barely knew each other. About everyone.

After another ever-lasting moment the Doctor broke the silence.

“We should put ourselves in better shape. Place our masks, which are always so uninterested and non-caring, back on our faces.” Some from the rest nodded and Dottore continued.

“Before the Jester came. We don’t want him to see us all-emotional and crying, do we?” he forced laugh and brought others smiles, as well.

I smiled too. How can I smile now, you are asking yourself. I don’t know.

“Don’t bother, Doctor.” Echoed Pierro’s voice. Dottore let out quiet of course, sir and shook with Pantalone’s arm a bit. The Regrator raised his head from other’s shoulder and stepped closer to marble object. All Harbingers did.

My people came closer to the object- the coffin. And even thought, it was basically empty, there was something strange about it. They left the body on the place, where it will be for all eternity- where it is supposed to be. They knew it. At least, I knew it.

“I don’t know what to do know.” admitted our director. Suddenly, all eyes where stucked on man from Khaenri’ah. All eyes where expecting some more to it. However, Pierro didn’t seem to continue. He did after a while.

“I guess, you all want some explanation, which you all deserve. However, I can’t give you one straight away. I’m not sure what happened. When he asked me to allowed him to not bring gnosis, I didn’t knew, he meant to not bring back himself, too. If I knew, I wouldn’t give him permission to do so. I would hugged him more tightly than I did, if I knew it was the last time.” He finished his speech and watched as every Harbinger has tears rolling down their cute, vulnerable faces.

I let out short laughter, because I caught myself crying, as well. “Oh, my precious Jester!” I shouted to the silence. I quickly got to Pierro. Stepped through the empty coffin and moved forward to be just inches from him. Then raised my arms and put them around director’s neck. Placed my damn-rotten face to his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, to leave you like this, lord Pierro.” I felt him shivered as I whispered to his ear. Then I tried to kiss him on lips, though he surely didn’t felt it.

A moment later, I heard something banged on the ground and when I turned my head I burst into something between laughter and endless crying. All of them, all those prideful Harbingers were lying on my coffin and crying and screaming. The fear, the emptiness, darkness and rest of emotions that one could get out of them. The hopelessness was burning out of them and it hurt to watch, but.... there was nothing I could do about it.

I looked back at Pierro, whose head was bowed down and hand covering his crying eye. The loving smile, he always had on his face disappeared a while ago. I never thought he could be hurt this badly by me. Well, by me not being around.

I remember how him and I always played chess in our free time. It was actually practice. As I was told. I believed it from first moment. We spend lot of time by answering each other’s questions. The one who win game, will ask question and the other one answers it. Though my answers weren’t honest most of the time. My thoughts strayed to chess pieces. The gnoses, I meant. And, how I didn’t bring mine-the last one.

My eyes stayed closed until I heard something different than cries.

“My Harbingers,” Pierro said, “do you wish to hear Capitano’s last words? He sent one more letter after one asking to take away his responsibility to get gnosis. He sent one where he explained everything he did.” His voice practically disappeared when he said last sentence.

No answer. Just endless crying. Dottore raised his head. His mask already wasn’t on his face for some time. He let out only few words. “Yeah, yes please.” He closed his eyes and nodded in case that Pierro didn’t hear him well.

“I apologize, Doctor.” I patted his head and kneeled down next to him. It felt wrong seeing them all destroyed like this. I was kneeling by Dottore few minutes and then I started listening to Pierro, who was now reading those words.

Words, I know so well. I was one who put them on a paper on the first place. How bad it felt listening to them again.

As director was reading last lines, his voice was disturbed by footsteps. However, others didn’t mind at all. In fact, they didn’t even heard it. I took my head from the Doctor and saw my soldier standing meters away from me.

Guthred, my second-in-command was watching me as I gave my goodbyes to fellow Harbingers. His starry eyes pierced mine full of tears and laughter escaped his mouth.

“Come on, commander,” He spoke in light, happy tone, “getting sad for no reason, are we?” he tilted his head and kept a smile. Then made another steps and straightened hand forward me.

“Get up, Thrain, I don’t like seeing you on your knees.” The hand in front of me, it already helped me get up so many times. Man, who was smiling at me, it was my long-missed friend.

“Very well.” I took his hand and he helped me to get on my feet. I bit struggled with it, but I lent on my soldier and we moved away from fatui officers.

“But, wait a bit will you? These people are- were my second family. I need to say proper goodbye.” I asked Guthred and he shrugged and allowed me to do so.

I bowed down on my knees and let tears fell down once more. It was last time, however.

“Thank you for taking care of me. And for Pierro. Please, forgive me for not fighting until the end. But, this was needed to be done.” I smiled and raised my head before I continued.

“I am grateful for time I got to spend with you. I wish you victory in every upcoming battle you will eventually fight. Fight for me too, I beg you. I believe in you, all of you. I always had. One day, we’ll meet again. Here, after death, which needn't to come any soon, but will eventually. Take care, okay? Farewell, my friends!”

I stood up and felt hug from Guthred. I took him by hand and we walked away together, leaving my mourning friends behind. They doesn’t know that I will never leave them, actually. Even now, when I’m leaving, my heart will always belong next to theirs.

“We have much to talk about,” Said military doctor as we moved far enough, “it’s been hundreds of years and even though I’ve been watching over you, you still have lot of to talk about. For example, about them...”

A smile appeared on my face and won’t leaves it anytime soon.