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Chapter Text

“It’s discrimination to not let her go to trial because of the reason that she won’t be able to effectively make her defence… due to her autism.”
CEO Han looks at me. “Weren’t you the one who said…” She puts on a mock of my voice. “‘Did you not see the second page of her resume? You saw that but still accepted her? How am I supposed to train someone who can’t even introduce herself properly?’ Didn’t you say that?” she laughs, “What happened since then?”
“Back then,” I hesitate. I suppose it’s quite simple, when it comes down to it. “She wasn’t on my team. Now she is.”
Han laughs again. “Well,” Her demeanour turns serious again. “I do agree that what the Chairman of Sangjeong asked is… unfair and discriminatory. But I’m the CEO. I have to do what the client wants.” My hopes drop. Attorney Woo has worked so hard on this case, just for it to be taken away from her. “So, Attorney Jung, don’t go to court either.”
What? “What?”
“You said she’s on your team, right? ‘If you don’t go, I won’t go.’ You have to show them.” She smiles, and I realise she’s right. I can protest against this injustice. “I can’t be a fighter who fights to the end for a rookie attorney’s rights. So… you should show them. That you two are one team.”
I nod. “Yes, alright.”
I bow and turn to leave.
“I will reassign the case to Attorney Jang. Hand him the case files directly.”
I stop in my tracks. Is she serious? I stifle my emotions with a sigh.
“Why Jang Seung-jun, of all people?”
She looks at me. “You should at least get that kind of penalty.” She smiles. “The Chairman might think of this as very unpleasant. Thinking that you’re protesting because you’re upset about what he said.”
I nod and bow. “Okay, I understand.”
I don’t like it, but it makes sense. I start to turn to leave, then turn back to protest again: she knows about our history, why would she pick him of all people? Couldn’t I give the case to someone else? But one look at her face, smiling knowingly, and I know she did this on purpose. She knows exactly what she’s doing. I close my mouth again and turn away.
I’m going to have to deal with my ex.

If I have to do this, I might as well get it over with as quickly as possible.
I don’t stop when I reach Jang Seung-jun’s office door: I knock, and enter without waiting for a response, closing the door behind me. The room is dark, like it so often used to be when the two of us were in here, and I walk up to the desk.
“Hey,” I say, but when I reach the desk, there’s no one there.
“Myung-seok?”
The voice comes from behind me, making me jump. I turn as the lamp switches on, to see… Seung-jun hanging upside down on some kind of exercise equipment. He always was very… extra.
“What’s up?” he asks, as though this is normal.
“The CEO called you, right?”
“Yes, the CEO called me,” he says, mimicking my speech pattern. He always did like to make fun of me. “But what’s up?”
“You should know if she called you.”
“Yes, I do know since she called me.”
I hesitate. “What are you getting at?”
He’s not smiling, but I can feel it. It’s making me uneasy. “I just want to hear Myung-seok ask me for a favour himself.”
I take in a breath. It’s no use arguing with him. I learnt over time it’s best to just swallow my pride and do what he wants.
“Do me a favour.”
He smiles, then puts on an expression of fake confusion. “What? I can’t hear you.”
I glance over at him. He’s really getting on my nerves now. How did I ever actually like this asshole?
“Probably because I’m hanging upside down. I can’t hear you.”
I look away for a moment to steal myself together, letting out the tiniest of sighs, then walk over to the machine. He looks so damn proud of himself. I push the button for only a second to lift him up slightly.
“Do me a favour.”
“What did you say?” He laughs. “I can’t hear you.”
I look at him with disdain, the muscle in my jaw working as I try to maintain my composure. I press the button again and hold it, checking my watch to make sure he knows how little I want to be here. He laughs as the machine slowly moves him upright, waving at me as he gets to standing. He’s so immature.
“Gosh,” he says, shaking his head as the blood rushes away from his brain, then smooths a hand over his hair, turning to look at me in the most annoyingly over-the-top I-know-I’m-hot way possible.
He’s still so hot that I have to swallow. I hate him.
“What?” he says expectantly.
God, that face. He knows exactly what he does to me.
I open my mouth to speak, but have to close my eyes for a second to calm down. When I open them again, I put on a smile. He likes when I smile. I’ve found that when dealing with him, you have to just give him what he wants. He’ll get it one way or another, anyway.
“Do me a favour, Seung-jun.”
He smiles back at me, then looks me up and down. “Can’t you live without me, Myung-seok?” His eyes continue soaking up my body. “How long do I have to keep cleaning up after you, Myung-seok?”
His eyes flick to meet mine, and my breath catches in my throat, my eyelids fluttering, lips parting instinctively. It’s been so long, yet I still can’t stop my body’s reaction to him. I try to hide it with a weak smile, but it’s too late, he’s seen everything. He laughs at me, and I look down in shame.
“Leave the case files over there,” he says, nodding toward his desk, “I’ll handle it for you.”
He looks me up and down again, raising one eyebrow in a smug smile as his eyes settle on my face. I look over toward the desk, but as he leans back in his upside-down flipping chair thing, I slam the files into his chest and walk away, pressing the button as I leave.
“I told you to put it over there,” he says, but I don’t even look at him, waving a hand dismissively.
I can hear the equipment still turning as I walk away and out of the room, and the click of a button as Seung-jun tries to stop the chair. As I’m walking away from his office, I can’t help from smiling as I faintly hear him calling my name. For once, I’ve got my own back on him.

In the courtroom, I watch as Seung-jun questions the witness. He really is incredible. Seeing him up there, it reminds me why I fell for him in the first place. As he returns to his seat next to the defendant, he catches my eye, and I smile at him: a real, genuine smile. He did good.

“No matter what he demanded,” I say, reassuring Attorney Woo, “We proved our argument well.” More like Seung-jun did. “And most of all, the judges seemed to be understanding. I think it’s likely that he’ll be found not guilty of bodily injury resulting in death.” We stop, and she turns to face me. “And he’ll get probation for the assault too. If not, we can always appeal, so don’t worry too much.”
“Okay,” Attorney Woo agrees.
“Gosh,” My mood turns slightly sour as I hear Seung-jun coming toward us. “It was no trouble at all. It was an honour to be able to finish your case myself.”
He’s walking with the defendant’s father, and bows to him before he notices me. The defendant’s parents come to a stop in front of us, and Seung-jun waits to the side.
“You both worked so hard to prepare for the trial,” the mother says, “I’m sorry.”
I smile at her. It wasn’t her fault. She turns to Attorney Woo.
“Especially Attorney Woo, you must be so disappointed.”
She takes her hand, but Attorney Woo moves away. I catch Seung-jun’s eye for a moment, but turn back to my team member almost immediately.
“It’s fine,” she says.
It’s not fine. We all know that. But none of us know what to say.
“Thank you for your efforts,” the father says, turning to me.
“No problem, sir,” I reply with a bow.
“Ah,” Seung-jun says, coming over. He points toward Attorney Woo, looking to me for confirmation. “She’s the-”
I grab his hand and shake it to cut him off. “Thank you, Seung-jun.”
He stops, looking to me and then Attorney Woo in surprise and confusion. I pull my hand away.
I bow to the clients. “We’ll get going now.” I turn to my colleague. “Attorney Woo, let’s go.”
We both bow to the clients once more, then walk away.
“You’re welcome,” Seung-jun calls after me, but I don’t even turn around.

Chapter Text

Sitting with Attorneys Woo and Choi at lunch, we’re in good spirits with the case looking up, but our bubble gets burst pretty quickly.
“How can you eat, you idiot?” Seung-jun shouts, grabbing me by the shirt and yanking me to my feet.
I shove his hands off me. “What’s wrong with you? Are you crazy?”
“You’re the one who’s crazy,” he responds, eyes wide with anger, “Do you have any idea how hard I worked to get the GRD as our client?”
“The GRD?” I ask, confused.
“Yes, you punk! The Group of Righteous Doctors, the GRD! You blew it!”
He throws some papers down on the table, making the other attorneys flinch. Choi picks it up and looks at it.
“You put Kwon Byeong-gil on the witness stand without knowing that he’s an executive of the GRD? Do you know what I had to deal with from the Chairman just now?” Seung-jun yells in my face, his movements heated. “You don’t.”
I move back slightly. I remember when he used to get like this. This was why I ended things with him: his temper. But this time he’s right. I messed up.
“Kwon Byeong-gil said he didn’t want to talk about the piece,” he continues, “But the attorneys at Hanbada insisted that he talk about it!”
I hold up a hand to calm him down, but I know that won’t work, so instead I turn away. God, I remember him being like this. Everyone’s watching us. It takes everything I have not to cry.
“Gosh,” he says quietly, then louder, “Gosh!” He turns his anger toward Attorney Woo. “Is this because of a public interest case you’re doing with the rookies?” He turns back to me. “Huh, Myung-seok? How could someone with your level of experience make such a mistake? How could you cost us a client who’s worth billions over some mere public interest case?”
He glares at me right in the eyes and I can’t bear it, I have to look away. When I do, I see the other attorneys cowering. He can do this to me, that’s fine, I’m used to it by now. But not to them.
“Okay, I understand. You can stop now,” I say, turning back to him.
But he doesn’t. “The one peer I have that should be helping me is bringing harm to me instead!”
Ah. This isn’t just about the GRD.
“Gosh, this is so annoying!” he yells, making the others jump again. “I’m the only one worried about the firm!”
He’s not talking about the firm. He’s talking about us.
He glares at me before he storms away, and I can finally breathe without his eyes on me. I blink back the tears. I can’t help watching him go, feeling conflicted, but as he turns the corner out of sight, I turn back to the rookies. They’re looking at me, waiting for me to let them know how to respond. I check back round: people have gone back to their own business. I can focus on the newbies. They need my leadership right now.
I sit back down, trying to regain my composure.
“I’m sorry,” Attorney Choi says, “For not running a background check on the witness.”
“I’m sorry for making you lose a client that’s worth billions,” Attorney Woo adds.
I shake my head. I need to put on a brave face for them right now. “It’s nothing for rookies to apologise for. It’s my mistake.” They both hang their heads in shame. I need to encourage them. “It’s my fault and I’m really embarrassed right now. But let’s not think of it as ‘some mere public interest case’ or ‘some mere North Korean defector’. Let’s work hard even if it’s not a case that’s worth billions of won.”
Choi smiles, nodding. “Yes.”
“Yes,” Woo agrees, looking equally as reassured.
I nod, glad I was able to lessen the weight on their shoulders, even if it still hangs over mine. Now I’m sure they’re both okay, I can leave. I really need to be alone now. I’ve been holding it in, but Seung-jun coming at me like that, the reminder of how things were with us, has really got me shaken.
“Finish your food. I’m going to go because I’m embarrassed.”
They bow to me as I leave, but I can’t look at them now. If I look at anyone else I’m going to cry.
When I reach my office, I lock the door behind me and drop into my desk chair, exhausted. Resting my head in my hands, the tears come spilling out. God, even now, even after I ended things with him, he still finds ways to make me feel small. Pathetic. Stupid. Maybe it’s worse now we’re not together. He’s taking things out on other people too, not just me. The rookies. Choi. Woo. And he had to do it in front of everyone. Maybe it was better when it was in private. Just me. Then he wouldn’t make anyone else feel like this.

Chapter Text

Many years ago:

I lay panting, Seung-jun laid next to me, looking pleased with himself. Fuck, that was good. I’m not sure I expected it to feel so good.
“Maybe next time I could go on top,” I say breathlessly. It only seems fair we take turns.
Seung-jun bursts out laughing. “No way!” He’s laughing a lot. I don’t get what’s so funny. “No way I’m being a bottom!”
Annoyance bristles on my skin. Does he have a problem with bottoms?
He pushes himself up and moves back over me. “Anyway, you like bottoming, so be a good boy and take it.”
The fuck did he just say?
He leans down to kiss me, but I push him off and sit up. “I’m not a dog,” I spit.
He just laughs, which pisses me off even more. I huff, getting up and grabbing my glasses.
“Where are you going?” He doesn’t sound like he believes I’m going anywhere.
“I’m leaving,” I say, pulling on my pants.
“No, no, no,” he says dismissively, “Come on, come back over here, I know you want to.”
“Why do you always think you know what I want?” I snap.
But somehow his hand finds mine, and his touch sends tingles through my body, and now I’m perched back on the edge of the bed.
He takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger, guiding my face closer to his. Damn it, why is he so hot? It’s so annoying. He kisses me, and I can’t help it, I let him take off my glasses, push me back into the bed and crawl on top of me. His hands work their way down my body, until they find my pants.
“Let’s get these back off,” he says, before pulling them down and off my body.
This doesn’t feel fair. This isn’t fair. But, fuck, I can’t say no to him. I gasp as I feel him enter me, and try to keep from moaning as he moves, but, fuck, it feels so good, I can’t help it, I can’t help it. I grip onto the sheets, my hands balling into fists as he kisses my neck, and he smells so good, and it feels so good, all of it feels so good I can barely breathe.
I’m not sure how long it’s been by the time he collapses on top of me. Becoming faintly aware of my surroundings again, I notice the light coming through the curtains, which means it must be morning now.
Seung-jun’s head moves up to look at me, and he traces my jaw with his finger. He’s blurred without my glasses, but even then, still so attractive.
“See?” he says smugly, “You like bottoming.”
My resolve weakens. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should’ve just listened to him to begin with. I should know by now there’s no point trying to resist him.

Standing at the door of Seung-jun’s apartment, I can’t believe I’m back here. I wouldn’t be here if I had a choice, but I’ve been on edge all day since the CEO told me about my colleague. I can’t stay in my empty apartment. Not when there could be someone after me.
Bracing myself, I knock on the door. It takes a moment for him to answer, but when he does, a smug smile appears on his face.
“You just can’t stay away, can you, Myung-seok?”
It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes. “I just need a place to stay. I didn’t know where else to go.”
“A place to stay? What happened to your apartment?”
I sigh. Of course he has to make this difficult. “Did you hear about Attorney Park Hak-su?”
“Ah, yeah, he got attacked by a client who got out of jail, right?”
“I also worked that case.”
His expression drops, and I think he might actually be concerned about me.
“The criminal is still out there, and I can’t shake the feeling that someone has been following me.” My voice wavers.
“Ah, then come in, come in,” he says, ushering me inside and looking around before closing and locking the door.
I stand awkwardly in the hallway. I know where everything is, but… I don’t want to get comfortable here. I don’t want him to mistake this for me wanting to get back together.
“So,” Seung-jun says, turning to me with that smug expression back on his face, “You need me to protect you?”
“No,” I say quickly, “I just figured they’re less likely to try to attack me if I’m not alone.”
“And you came to me,” he says, stepping closer. I step back. “So you need me to protect you.”
I step back again as he comes closer, and my back hits the wall. “I didn’t know where else to go.”
“So I’m your only hope?”
He’s so close now I can smell him. God, he smells good. No. Focus. Pull yourself together.
“Am I your only hope, Myung-seok?”
His face is so close to mine. I can’t breathe.
“I guess.”
“No, that’s not good enough,” he says, grinning. He’s enjoying this. “I want to hear Myung-seok ask me to protect him himself.”
Not this again. Why does he have to be so difficult? Can’t he just help me without making me beg?
“Seung-jun,” I say quietly, “I’m worried that my life is in danger.”
My eyes meet his, and I notice that the use of his name has changed his expression. He almost looks surprised. I was going to protest, but… his eyes move to my lips, and my eyelids flutter. I have to tear my eyes away from his face and look away.
“Help protect me from the fugitive.”
There’s a moment where all I can hear is the two of us breathing. The tension between us is so much that it takes everything I have to try to hold still and not look at him. If I look I won’t be able to resist.
“What do I get in return, Myung-seok?”
His hand reaches for my face, and I know he’s going to run his finger along my jaw, and I know that if he does that I won’t be able to resist. I can’t let that happen. I can’t do this again.
I shove him away and quickly walk into the living room.
“Hey!” he calls after me, “What was that for? Myung-seok?”
I sit on the sofa and put my head in my hands. When I look up again, he’s stood in the middle of the room staring at me accusatorily.
“This isn’t us getting back together,” I say, careful to keep my voice level, “I just need somewhere to stay.”
“You know there’s only one bed, remember?”
“I’ll sleep on the sofa,” I say quickly.
He turns with an exaggerated sigh of disappointment. “Ah, why do you have to be so difficult? Come on, Myung-seok, why can’t you just admit you still like me?”
“I don’t,” I snap.
He sighs again, waving a hand as he turns away and heads into the kitchen.
“I’m not cooking for you if I’m not getting anything in return,” he calls from the other room.
“That’s fine. I’ll order a delivery.”
“Really?” he says, and he comes back into the living room. “Order me one too, then.”
“Fine.” I look him directly in the eyes. “That will be what you get in return.”
“Gosh, fine,” he says exasperatedly.
I don’t believe he’s going to give up trying to get back with me. I’ll have to stay vigilant. But at least he’s not a murderer. And at least I’m not alone.

Chapter Text

Last night was rough. I managed to keep away from Seung-jun, despite his endless attempts to flirt, but my back hurts from sleeping on the sofa – if you could call that mix of nightmares and restlessness ‘sleeping’ – and I still feel exhausted. Today hasn’t helped, either. The case we’re working on isn’t looking good for us, and then Attorney Woo’s insistence that we’re on the wrong side of this has got my mind reeling. I’m not the type of attorney that worries about the morality of my clients – that’s the judge’s job – but with these recent events… maybe that’s something I should have been worried about.
When I head out of the building, Seung-jun is waiting for me by the doors.
“Are you coming to mine again?” he says, getting a little too close.
I push past him and keep walking. “Well they still haven’t caught the guy yet.”
He takes hold of my arm to stop me. “So…?”
Pulling my arm away, I continue walking. I really don’t have the energy for this right now.
“Hey!” he calls after me, “Where are you going?”
“Yours.”
He runs to catch up to me. “You need to ask me first.”
I’m seriously so fed up with this. I’m only staying with him because my life could be in danger and he knows that. He’s not going to turn me away when he knows that.
“Are you really not gonna let me stay if I don’t?”
He seems shocked by my response, stopping for a moment, before following after me. He’s not used to me standing up to him.
“You ought to be nicer to me, Myung-seok.”
I scoff. “That’s rich, coming from you.”
His eyebrows furrow together, and he moves in front of me to stop me, holding up a hand. “What? What do you mean?”
“You really don’t know?” I say flatly. He only looks confused in response. I sigh. “We’re not talking about this here.”
The journey to his apartment is done in silence. Even he knows we can’t talk about our private matters in public.
“So?” Seung-jun says, turning to face me after locking the door. “What do you mean?”
“You seriously don’t know?”
He looks almost hurt. “No.”
I sigh, lifting up my glasses to rub my eyes. I move into the living room to sit on the sofa, and he follows me, sitting next to me, his leg pressed against mine. I shuffle further away from him.
“You’ve never exactly been really nice to me.”
He shakes his head in disbelief. “What?”
“Come on, you can’t say you don’t know. You’re always making fun of me.”
“That’s just playful teasing,” he laughs, “Come on, you know I don’t mean it.”
“What about when you get angry at me? Like that time a few weeks ago?”
He sighs. “I only got angry because I know you’re better than making a mistake like that. You’re smarter than that.”
I exhale in frustration. “And what about all the other times you got angry and yelled? All those times when we were together?”
He takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “I just get angry sometimes. I can’t help it.”
I scoff. It’s not just when he’s angry. “You don’t respect me.”
His head snaps up to look at me, scowling. “What?” He sits up straight. “Of course I respect you!”
I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment. “Do you remember what you said to me the first time we had sex?”
He shakes his head, looking lost. “What?”
“’Be a good boy and take it’.”
He shakes his head. He doesn’t get it. “So?”
“So you always make me feel so shit about myself! Like I’m stupid, pathetic, useless-”
“Myung-seok,” he says quietly, reaching for my hand.
Flinching away, I throw my hands up and stand. “Don’t. Just… don’t.”
I walk away and into the kitchen. I wish I could go further away, somewhere I could get away from him, but there’s nowhere else I can go. Taking off my glasses, I put my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the countertop. I hear Seung-jun enter the room, but I don’t look up.
“How am I supposed to act around you then?” His voice sounds thick. “Please tell me, because I don’t know.”
I don’t respond. I can’t.
“I thought… maybe you came here because I make you feel safe.”
“I told you already. I didn’t know where else to go.”
There’s a strangled pause.
“You really don’t have anyone else?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
Maybe I really am pathetic. My life could be in danger, and the only person I can turn to is my asshole ex-boyfriend.
When I finally look back up, he’s gone. For once, he actually listened when I told him I want to be alone. So why does that make me feel worse?
Hesitantly, I walk back to the living room and stop in the doorway. Seung-jun looks up at me from the sofa.
“Was I really that bad a boyfriend?” he asks.
“We just weren’t good together,” I reply, and then it hits me. “Though I don’t think I’ve ever been good with anyone.”
“It felt like we were good together to me.”
I shake my head. “We weren’t.”
“But why?” He stands, walking over to me, and my back hits the wall again. “I don’t understand, Myung-seok, I never meant to make you feel shit or pathetic or any of those things.” He grips my shirt in his hands, and his face is so close now that I can see his eyes are red. “So… why?”
He’s so close I can’t breathe, and he looks like he’s going to cry.
“Answer me!” he shouts, shaking me roughly, and it shakes my tears loose, and I have to bite down on my lip to stop a sob from escaping.
“This is why,” I whisper hoarsely.
He looks down at his hands on my shirt, and suddenly lets go, stepping back. Running his hands through his perfect hair, for once letting it get a mess, his wide eyes dart around the room, and he sucks in air like he’s suffocating.
“Gosh,” he says quietly, then pulling at his hair, “GOOOSSSHHH!”
I’ve seen him this angry before, but… this time, it seems like it’s aimed at himself. I’ve never seen him like that. Flinching as he shoves the ornaments off the shelf, they clatter onto the floor. I’ve never known what to do when he’s like this. I always try to just stay quiet and keep myself as far out of his way as possible. Biting down hard on my lip, I keep the sobs in, though the tears won’t stop now they’ve started.