Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

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Sandwich was very good at his job. Sanji was not exactly happy with this. He knew having mice on a ship was a bad thing. Common, yes, but not a good thing. They got into the food stores and spread disease and bacteria. That didn't mean, however, that he was immune to flashbacks every time he saw the big kitten pounce into a space between shelves, or crates. Or when he was proudly parading across the deck with his latest kill dangling sad and pathetic between sharp little teeth. 

Sanji acted like he hated mice, acted like the idea of them made him sick to his stomach, because there wasn't a cook worth his salt that was happy with the idea of mice living in their pantry. But inside, there was that little boy who longed for a friend and made them with the little furry creatures that lived in the cracks and holes of his home. 

So, every time Nami praised the cat for catching one, Sanji flinched and mourned a little. 

Three days out of Mona Costa Sanji came into the kitchen and found Sandwich batting around the cork from a wine bottle someone had stabbed a piece of string into, resembling a tail, and there was not a single mouse to be found. In some way he was relieved, in another he wondered if the mice had decided to move into other parts of the ship.

Sanji eyed the cat. “I'm not giving you tuna for catching that thing, I hope you know that.” 

The cat ignored him and continued to chase his cork-mouse around the kitchen. 

Breakfast preperations went smoothly even with the overgrown kitten bounding around Sanji's ankles and meowing pathetically for a bite of bacon. 

The weather was still chilly, but with any luck they would be out from under the cold front by the end of the week and almost to Loguetown. And that meant no more jackets, no more of Nami's cute sweaters, or Usopp's hoodies, and no more sitting close together at the table to keep warm.

Eventually, Zoro and Usopp wandered in one after the other. Zoro from night watch, Usopp heading to his own shift. They sat at the table together and watched Sanji cooking, each sipping tiredly at hot tea. 

Part of Sanji was jealous of how the two interacted. Zoro leaned on Usopp's shoulder and dozed while the sniper rubbed at his neck and spoke softly about what plans he had when Zoro's week of watch shifts ended and they could enjoy their nights together. After the vibrator incident, the two had offered Sanji a place with them, no strings attached, but it still felt a little too new for the cook to fully accept. He'd thanked them, shy but sincere, and said he'd think about it. The sniper had nodded, given him a soft smile and said; “When you're ready.”

 And Sanji had been thinking about it pretty much constantly, since.

Being back on the open water had put a damper on Usopp and Zoro's more amorous activities. There were watch shifts, and chores to be done to keep the Merry operating smoothly. But they still found a few minutes every day to get in a quick cuddle. 

Zoro secretly liked cuddles. He would deny it if asked, but he readily bowed against Usopp's side or put his legs over the sniper's lap. Sanji thought it was kind of possessive, the way Sandwich would sprawl on Luffy while the captain was sleeping and swat at anyone who came near. But, Sanji remembered that Zoro had wrapped his arms around him while they crowded into a booth at Eleven Bakery, one foot up on the seat at Sanji's back, and pulled him in, glared at anyone who had walked too close to their table with keen dark gray eyes. 

Sandwich chased his cork mouse between Sanji's feet, and did a little hopping dance, batting at it around the cook's ankles. Sanji twitched his foot two inches toward the cat and Sandwich launched himself into the air, then landed skittering with all his claws against the rug, and galloped away to hide under Zoro's chair. 

“Big Bad Killer, my ass.” Usopp chuckled, then bent to scratch the cat behind the ears. “Did he scare you buddy?”

Sandwich squeaked and collapsed onto his side, feigning great injury. 

“Poor little guy!” Usopp cooed. “He just kicked you halfway across the ship, didn't he!”

Zoro chuckled around the lip of his mug. “Dramatic cat.”

The day of softness when they’d departed Mona Costa had been refreshing, and on a smaller scale, world changing. Sanji had gone to bed that night in his own room and slept deeply, dreamed of being pressed between their bodies on purely innocent occassions. He'd woken with renewed purpose. Created a lavish breakfast with his first attempt at Eleven Bakery style pastry, fresh matcha, and rolled egg omlettes with fresh sliced tomato and basil. 

Zoro gave him knowing looks when the matcha was presented, and Sanji, for the first time, wondered if Zoro knew the language of tea, and if so, where the hell had he learned?

It left Sanji's belly fluttering excitedly, the idea that he could have complete conversations with the swordsman, through drink alone. A secret language that it was obvious none of the others spoke.

From that first day Sanji had started taking time every morning to look at himself in the mirror, to carefully fold the hair wrap he'd picked out at Mally Oh's, and make sure all his new self-care products were lined up and ready for him. Little things he hadn't realized would make him feel so different, and give him the confidence to actually consider Usopp and Zoro's offer.

Of all the subtle changes that had taken place since That Night, the change to Sanji's appearance piqued the mos interest. Luffy had oooed and aaahed at his hair and asked how he'd changed it. 

Sanji had grinned to himself, elbow deep in breakfast dishes. “I suppose it's always been like this, I just haven't taken care of it properly.” 

“I like it!” Luffy had said, swinging his feet where he'd ploped himself on the countertop to Sanji's side. “You look happier like this. Your face is brighter.”

Sanji had smiled and flicked dish soap at him playfully. Luffy helped put the dried dishes away then had bounded out calling for Usopp to come play Gum-Gum Chicken.

In the days that had followed, Sanji found himself drawn toward the sniper and swordsman more and more. Sometimes he would just stand in the galley door and watch what they were doing, others he found himself daydreaming about being splayed out on Usopp's futon and ravished in infinite, glorious ways.

Even tgough they were giving him space, Zoro and Usopp weren't distant, which Sanji found reassuring. Usopp was more verbal would make sure he took the time throughout the day to stick his head in and see what Sanji was doing, ask how he was feeling or offer to help with cleaning and tidying. Zoro lingered more, took up the other side of the sink and dried dishes, or sat in the galley and watched him while pretending to nap. He didn't speak much, or ask how Sanji was doing, but he had a feeling Zoro knew without words. 

Sanji was surprisingly okay. Silently coming to terms with his wants, and reconciling them with what he'd been taught. He'd found the new additions to his routine helped most. Taking time every evening before bed to comb his hair and read the instructions on the curl balm Nami had suggested for him so he knew he wouldn't mess it up. Tying his wrap in a bow above his right ear, to contrast how he liked to part his hair. He liked his curls, how soft they felt, how they moved, how proud he was that something of his mother remained in him that nobody could take from him. 

He also liked that sometimes, when nobody was looking, Usopp and Zoro would reach up and catch one of the soft little spirals behind his ear and let it slip through their fingers. The shiver that would race up and down his spine.

It felt good to know that Sanji could take his time. Could think as long, or as quickly as he needed to be confident in his decision. The difficult part though, was actually deciding what he wanted more. The attraction was obvious, once he sat down and thought about it, but did he want to do anything about it? Was he ready? For all his bluster and bravado during their sleepovers, the idea of letting someone get that close to him, touch him like that, was intimidating. And the memories of the vibrator incident--

“Parlay?” Usopp's voice was soft, still a little rough with sleep.

Sanji froze at the stove, let his shoulders relax. Zoro had been the one to suggest it. A code word they could use, the three of them, to ask to talk about That Night or a possible future. None of them had used it yet, although it had only been three days. Sanji too anxious, and the swordsman too invested in watching Sanji squirm in his growing desires. 

Sanji turned the gas down and sat the frying pan to the back of the stove, his heart beating quick. “Parlay.” 

Zoro perked up significantly, a broad grin dimpling his cheeks, eyes heavy lidded as he watched the blonde approach. 

“We've been talking,” Usopp started. “And we wanted to get your thoughts on some things.”

Sanji couldn't quite make himself sit down across from them. “On what?”

“Zoro wants to know if you'd wanna try some stuff-- not sex. Just touching.”

The wind whistled outside, cold drafts around the edges of the door. 

“Maybe.”

“Okay, are you up for talking about what we had in mind?” Usopp sipped his tea and straightened his back. “You can say 'no' to any of it, or if you have suggestions, we'd love to hear them.” 

Sanji caught Zoro's eyes, the amusement and desire in them. “Is this how things normally go? Aren't we supposed to like, court one another or something?”

Zoro snorted and propped his chin on his fist. “I think we're a little too familiar for 'courting'. I still have your vibrator in my room.”

Sanji's face felt like it was on fire. He wasn't sure he ever wanted to see that thing again honestly. “I just-- I don't know how this is supposed to go.”

“It can go however you want it to.” Zoro downed the last of his own tea. “That's the thing. If you want a big storybook production, that can happen. If you want something more clinical or physical, that can happen too.” 

Sanji's brows pulled down; “I don't understand.”

Usopp clarified. “Its like a fantasy. If you have a particular fantasy you've always wanted, or imagined happening for you, if we talk about it and plan stuff-- and work out what you're okay with and what you're not-- we can do that.”

Sanji picked at a scratch in the tabletop, couldn't quite meet Usopp's eyes. “But it wouldn't be real. It'd just be an act--”

“It's real in that the people you're doing it with care about you, want you to feel good, and want to make you happy with your experiences.” 

Sanji didn't know how to explain it, the disconnect in his head. What had happened the previous week in Zoro's room hadn't been something he'd ever wanted to experience. But, there had been something arousing about how humiliating it was. How dirty it felt to be on his hands and knees with Usopp's fingers inside him. With his--

Zoro ran his finger up and down the handle of his mug; “Talking about it though, gives you the ability to relax more because then you know things aren't going to go wrong. That's what the dom's job is, figuring out what can go wrong, and what to do to make sure everyone is safe.” 

Sanji sighed; “What kind of things? Do you have one? A fantasy?” He inched closer.

Zoro hesitated, Usopp stared at him, keen and excited at the prospect of planning his first big scene.

“Well...” Zoro glanced between the cook and the sniper nervously, then with a steadying breath; “I've always kind of wanted someone to-- kind of... tie me up and blindfold me. This sounds crazy, but-- blindfold me and threaten my life?”

Sanji scowled. “I do that on a daily basis-- minus the tying up and blindfolding.” 

“No-- I mean--” Zoro's face was going red. “Okay-- right before Mihawk cut me? Him swinging that giant fucking sword of his so close to me I could smell it?” He glanced away, oddly embarrassed at himself. “I've never been so goddamn horny in my life.” 

Sanji stared at him. 

Usopp's nose crinkled in awe; “Really? You-- You almost died! If he'd cut you a centimeter deeper you'd be dead!”

“That's just it!” Zoro's eyes widened aware of how he sounded; “Don't fuckin' ask me why! I don't know! But something about the fact I was literally a cenimeter from death-- Goddammit-- I would fuckin' give my left eye if he'd tie me up, blindfold me, and shaved my balls with that fucking sword!”

Usopp stuffed a fist into his mouth to keep from laughing.

Sanji’s mouth fell open. 

“I told you! It sounds crazy! I sound certifiably insane!” He stared at Sanji, slightly deranged and perhaps, a little disturbed by his own desires. “But the thought of it? The danger! Sexiest shit I can imagine!”

Usopp leaned heavily against Zoro's shoulder, giggling madly.

Zoro jostled him emphatically; “And if this jackass decides he wants to make me scream loud enough that the damned fishmen can hear me, all he has to do is tie me up and--”

Usopp pressed his face close to Zoro's ear and growled in a low impersonation of Mihawk's accent; “'Oh, but you would scream so exsqusitely.'”

Zoro's eyes rolled back in his head and he gave a full body shudder, then latched onto the sniper's hood and tried to suffocate him with it. “You shit--”

Usopp jabbed tickling fingers at the swordsman's middle. “If you want something like that we can talk about it! But if you're expecting me to do it, you're gonna have to settle for a regular shaver, because I prefer your balls attached to your body!”

Zoro let him go and tried to hide the color in his face; “I'm not expecting you to actually do it. It's just a fantasy. Scenes can be fantasies like that, or they can be things like spanking and choking, or fisting.”

“Or it can be wanting to see your partner dressed up like a samurai and you're a feudal lord?” Usopp grinned wickedly.

Zoro rolled his eyes. “Man, if you want me to wear the swords while I suck you off I'll wear the swords.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, two are broken anyway, but if you get cum on them I'll be pissed.” 

“That's fair.”

Sanji hesitated, mouth opening and closing; “What about--”

The two other boys turned and stared, eyes surprised and encouraging. 

“It's kind of stupid.” Sanji glanced nervously at the door.

“It isn't stupid if you think its hot.” 

Sanji pressed his fingertips into the tabletop, felt the ship moving beneath them. “I always imagined something more--” He sighed, almost disappointed; “I always imagined that when I found the person I wanted to do that with. It would happen on our wedding night.”

Zoro smirked and his mouth opened, but Usopp slapped both hands over it to prevent the swordsman from saying anything teasing, or snarky. He knew Zoro was trying to be more accepting and open where Sanji was concerned, but their relationship was complicated and sometimes Zoro couldn't help but be antagonistic when Sanji did or said something some would consider overly romantic or cheesy. It would take more than a week to break him of the habit, they all knew. But this moment called for discretion, and if Usopp had to pin Zoro's mouth shut with his bare hands to maintain it, he would. 

“That's kind of sweet. Any particular reason?”

“Well, it just seemed really romantic, and beautiful. That you'd share something so meaningful with your soulmate.”

Zoro slowly stopped struggling with Usopp's hands and slouched a little in his seat selfconsciously.

“I get that.” Usopp warily released the swordsman. “So, having your first time is really important to you.” 

Sanji nodded. “The books always make it seem like a big deal... Zeff did too.” He pushed his hair behind his ear; “I know it's dumb. And I know that it doesn't really mean much in the grand scheme of things. I'm not a prince in a book. People like us don't have that.” 

“People like what?”

Sanji shrugged and turned back to the stove, shoulders hunched; “We're pirates. We don't have storybook lives. We'll be lucky to have long lives and not die on a Marine's stage.” 

“So, what? That means you're not allowed to be happy?” Usopp climbed to his feet and went to fetch himself more tea. He leaned against the countertop to the blonde's right and tried to meet his eyes once more. “I mean, its your first time, and if waiting for your princess is what you want, we don't have to do anything. It's all your choice, Sanji. We just want you to feel good and be happy. We don't want to pressure you. Although I will miss cuddling with you, Zoro's like a damned heater and he makes me sweaty.”

Sanji chuckled. “I-I don't mind that. It's actually kind of nice, if I'm being honest.”

“And, you look happier too. I don't know what it is, but your eyes look happier. And it makes me proud to know I'm part of that.” Usopp leaned his brow onto Sanji's shoulder. “But if cuddling and talking and hair stuff is all we do, I'll be okay with that. As long as you're happy.”

“Still don't know how to tell Nami we're not 'boyfriends'.”

Usopp made a noise like a baloon loosing air. “Why can't we be boyfriends! Nothing wrong with dating people before you get married!”

“Dating!” Sanji stared at him, “Is that what we're doing now!”

“Well, like, have you ever dated anybody? Because I know I haven't.” Usopp turned to Zoro. “Have you?”

“Not unless you count that guy at the ramen stand.” Zoro shook his head, eyebrows up; “And I definitely don't.”

“You can use this as an excuse to do research!” Usopp blew the steam from his mug and took a tentative sip. “So, if you find your princess, you can woo her in style.”

Sanji glanced at him, then back to the bacon in his frying pan. “Research, into dating... by practicing on you two?”

“Yeah, we'll give you honest feed back!”

“As long as there's food and booze I'm in.” Zoro pushed to his feet and deposited his mug in the sink. “I'm gonna go pass out for a few hours.” He caught Usopp by the hood strings and yanked, tightening the fabric around his face so only the tip of his nose and mouth remained visible. “I have nothing to report about night watch besides the cold air, my cold ass, and clouds coming down from the north.”

Usopp pushed up and caught his lips, a quick peck of a kiss off center because he couldn't see; “You are relieved, sir!” And he mocked a salute.

Zoro chuckled; “What am I gonna do with you?”

Usopp hummed, didn't bother fixing his hood as he sipped his tea; “Love me, sex me, obey me. The usual.” 

Zoro stole his teacup and drained it.

“Brat.” Usopp took the empty cup when Zoro placed it back into his hands and turned to fill it once more, pushing his hood back from his eyes. “I know that was too sweet for you! So let the stomach ache be your punishment!”

Sanji felt a warm tingle in his belly and turned to catch Zoro's eyes as the swordsman left the galley. A soft grin shared between them as he went. 

*-*-*

Sanji had a fantasy, a dream, about his first time. It took parts from all his favorite books, and visuals from some of the magazines he kept hidden at the bottom of his drawers. 

A wedding night fit for royalty, and even if he'd never actually felt like royalty, he supposed there was a longing there. A romantasized version of reality where there was no pain or sadness in his life, but things still ended up with him leaving his home, finding himself in the kitchen of a cruise ship, then with Zeff, and inevitably with the Strawhats. A version of reality where he was a prince by more than technicality. And after their pirate journey was over, the world was a better place, and he was a dashing and rugged hero, he would find his princess. 

In his fantasy, he could never see her face, not because he didn't look into her eyes lovingly, but because he didn't have a definite image in his mind of what his perfect woman looked like. She could look like anyone. Long hair, short hair, dark skin, light skin, tall, short, fat or thin and everything inbetween. Beautiful or not, she was no less stunning in his mind. A flowing white gown dripping with lace, crystal beads, pearls, and diamonds. He would carry her into their bedchamber. A stunning cathedral of a room with blue and purple velvet tapestries, gold accents and lush green ferns. Roses, lilies, baby's breath, and a carpet of moss over marble stairs leading to an indoor river and waterfall-- don't try arguing the logistics of an indoor waterfall and moss growing on marble staircases, it was his dream, it didn't have to be logical, or make sense-- the moonlight would spill in through floor to ceiling windows and a stone archway leading onto a balcony that was also a garden, that was also part of a sprawling forest with a castle in the background. 

The bed would be enormous, with down pillows and silk sheets, plush blankets and a headboard carved with mermaids and angels. 

They would lie together in bliss, chaste for hours, just talking and laughing, until the moon was high and silvery light spilled in, wind blowing the sheer bed curtains like mist around them. Then they would undress, shy and new, only for one another. So in love, and innocent for the last time together. 

After that the books usually took an explicit turn and Sanji wound up hunched up in his hammock with a hand in his pants, but the images were still there, burned into his brain. He wanted that. He wanted it so much. The grandeur, the beauty, the gentleness. The newness. 

But, at the same time he had another fantasy. Of being swept away by a rogue, or a highwayman, or a pirate lord in a black leather mask, weilding a sword. Kidnapped, or harried away somehow because his arranged political marriage partner wanted him dead, or her dead... his brain got funny with this particular fantasy, where he was at once a man and a woman, and his captor was at once a man and a woman. But the urgency remained. Slowly falling in love through trial and tribulation. Battles at sea, and justice finally had. A single night, in a glade, or a cave, or a hidden cabin tending wounds. Their anamosity would be cast aside and they would come together in a wild night of passionate love making, only to part on the morrow with no idea if they would ever be reunited, or if the enemy would win, and they would be seperated for all eternity in death. 

Sanji... Sanji had issues. Issues with himself, with his sexuality, with his body and his secret desires. Because if anyone were to ask which fantasy he wanted most, he would claim the first. He would want to lavish attention on a woman, be her protector, and her lover. If one were to peek into his head and heart, one would find something much different. Yes, he wanted to be a protector, wanted to be strong and worthy of saving his love, but he also wanted to be protected, wanted in some ways, to be the woman in his fantasies because the idea of being swept up in romance and expertly wooed, excited him. He wanted to be strong, and handsome, and dashing, but he also wanted to be soft, and special, and sometimes small and helpless. The idea that he could have and in fact be both, seemed impossible. Men were men, women were women, and to some of the people he'd looked to as authority in his life, anything and anyone in between was a joke. 

Seeing how Usopp and Zoro acted was interesting, and he felt drawn to them because they understood the dichotomy. They were both soft and powerful. He wanted that dearly for himself, but couldn't quite figure out how it would work. He had hope that it could, but in his mind it just didn't fit yet, and he only got one first time, so he wanted to do it right. If he chose Usopp and Zoro, that meant if he did find his princess, it would be too late. 

It frustrated him beyond comprehension, because as soon as he thought he'd made up his mind, something would happen and he would doubt himself again. Throwing him back into a loop of despair, and longing, and wilted faith in himself. 

Nami knew this. Could see it growing more intense in the worried lines of his face as the days passed. She'd had her own fantasies back when she'd still been a virgin. She'd had her glowing first time, and moved on to more carnal fantasy, to something that felt good instead of awkward from trying to stick to a script in her head of how things were 'supposed' to go. She wanted to offer advice to him, but sometimes watching him suffer was too entertaining. It was as if he were so in love with the idea of love, that he forgot reality existed. People were messy, feelings changed. Princesses often fell in love with other princesses. And sometimes Princes, were swept away by pirates. 

By the fifth day out of Mona Costa Nami had had enough and decided that no entertaining theatrics were worth the trouble that was brewing. 

“Oh, God, what are you brooding so hard over? The whole galley smells like cigarettes!” She waved the smoke from her face and found Sanji slouched miserably at the table with a glass of wine, head bowed into folded arms a smoldering ashtray to his right. “You're day drinking? It must be bad. Its not even noon yet!”

“Sorry,” he lifted his head and eyed her; “Do you need something, dear?”

She shook her head and wandered over to the hanging basket of fruit he kept at the end of the countertop. Usually it was for Luffy when he got snack happy between meals and Sanji was too busy to make something. But occassionally the others snuck an apple, or a pear, or a banana. “You just seemed so happy when we left Mona Costa, and now you look miserable.” 

“It's nothing.”

She blew a raspberry and straddled the bench beside him. “Come on, spill! The whole Zoro and Usopp thing is getting old, there's only so many times I can handle watching them make googoo eyes at one another from across the ship before it starts to get nauseating. I need new gossip.” 

“It's really nothing. I promise.”

“And I can tell you're lying, so spill!” She said around a bite of apple. 

He turned away with a soft groan, fingers tightening like claws into his upper arms. 

“Ugh! Do I have to start guessing or what?” She nudged him in the side of the head, then began twirling one of his curls jealously. “Wow, your hair's soft.”

It was easier, with her playing in his hair, to pretend she was Usopp. To pretend she wasn't Nami, and he didn't want to bend over backward to please her. “Would it be wrong if I liked both?”

“No.” She said simply. “I take spells every once and a while where I like boys, so...” She said it with a bite of disgust.

“Why does it feel like it should be wrong then?”

“Because you've got shitty trauma.” She took another bite of her fruit and sat it aside, drying her hands on her trousers and delving all ten fingers into his hair. “I tried for a long time to make myself like men, but then I got tired of being disgusted and miserable.”

“Girls are a lot easier to love.” He melted into the firm pressure of her fingers on his scalp. “I know how I'm supposed to fit with women.” 

“Be at their beck and call, wait on them hand and foot-- be what they want you to be at all times, every second of every day?”

He grunted in the afirmative. 

“Sanji, that isn't love.” She sighed, rolling her eyes because she knew telling him this secret, would mean he might not be so amenable to being her servant any longer. “Doing those things for every woman you meet just opens you up to being used. Kindness and subserviance aren't the same thing.”

“How do you tell which one you should be?”

“Not by gender, that's for sure.” She stroked his hair one last time then scooted closer and leaned on the tabletop at his side. “Being kind to everyone is a wonderful attribute. Being subserviant to everyone makes you a target, and makes people forget you're a person. You can make food for people out of kindness, you can pull out their chairs, and treat them well out of kindness. But you have to put your foot down when they start treating you poorly but expecting you to continue doing those things. You have to have self-respect.” 

“I'm not entirely sure I know what that is.” He mumbled into the space between his arms. 

“You wouldn't let Zoro treat you poorly and then turn around and do everything he says.”

“No, I'd kick his damned head in!”

She grinned; “Then why would you let a woman do it?”

A groan, he seemed to melt a little more, becoming flatter against the tabletop. 

“Come on!” She leaned heavily against him. “Tell me why!”

“Because they're women--”

“Buuuuull!” She groaned.

He peered out at her with one sad eye.

She sighed, “Look, I get it. Women are amazing! We're beautiful, and smart! And soft! I get it! I see the appeal! But I'm not going to let someone walk all over me, and I'm not going to let someone walk all over you.”

“Except you.”

“Except me!” She prodded him in the ribs with a grin. “But you deserve to be treated with respect. So--” It pained her greatly to say it; “--I'm not going to push you so hard. I love the attention you give me, I do! But, I want to show you how you deserve to be treated by women. And that means... I have to stop expecting you to do everything for me. You deserve someone who you can pamper, but who will also do the same for you. Someone you can cook with sometimes, not always for. Although, I might get a little pissy if you have Zoro and Usopp in here they really-- really can't cook and should be kept away from the kitchen with threat of violence.” 

“But, I like taking care of you. You're our navigator. Without you we'd all be lost!”

She took in the look of genuine appreciation on his face; “Thank you. But again, you're my crewmate, and my friend. Not my servant.” She paused, bit her tongue, and forced the words out. “And definitely not my sub.” 

He raised his head, expression twisted between confusion and realization. 

“D/s stuff requires the dom to be sane, safe, and to make sure everything is consensual. They have to put their own wants and desires to the side on occasion to make sure their sub isn't being harmed, or doing something out of a sense of obligation. That's hard for me where you're concerned. I'm not used to being treated like a princess, and I get carried away. I wouldn't be good for you.” She petted the side of his face. “You need to learn your boundaries, and how to stand up to women. Then, maybe we can talk. If you haven't decided you have a preference for our sniper and swordsman by then, I mean.” 

“Never--”

She put a finger gently to his lips; “I'd never be able to give you sex, Sanji. I-- I don't like men like that. I joke and stuff, but I really don't. And you deserve the whole package.” She let her touch linger until she saw the words really sink in and he lowered his gaze. Sad, but accepting. “You're my friend, and I love you. But I can't be that for you.”

He nodded, turned and wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her close, face pressed into her hair. “Thank you.”

She hugged back, feeling for the first time that they finally understood one another. Their relationship may change, he may not cater to her every whim anymore, but he was still Sanji, and there would be no changing his yearning to please his friends. Perhaps this honesty would make their friendship deeper somehow. Nami had a feeling things from this point out, were only going to get better.

*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*

Four nights later the Merry was approaching the edge of the cold front, this brought with it a snow storm. Nami calculated they would ride with the storm for another thirty-six hours before they were finally free of it and heading perpendicular to the front instead of along its belly. 

“It's going to be cold!” She warned the boys sitting around the breakfast table. “I'm not going to begrudge anyone for wanting to bunk up, just try to keep the sex noises to a minimum!”

“Yeah!” Luffy said sternly. “It's hard to sleep through the moaning 'pleaseplease!'” He mocked Zoro's low groans to amusing effect. 

“Sorry.” Zoro muttered, chewing absently on a piece of dried meat. He couldn't meet anyone's eyes. 

“To be fair, we did get a ball gag, but he bit through it.” Usopp chuckled. 

Nami rolled her eyes. 

“It was a shitty ball gag.” Zoro muttered. 

“No, you fight with a sword in your mouth. Your bite can bend steel! That poor ball gag didn't stand a chance!” Usopp prodded him playfully. 

“No wonder you have headaches.” Nami let out a sigh of frustration. “Anyway! We switch watch tonight and I'm next on the list, so as long as you stay out of my room, and don't wake Luffy, I don't care what you do! Just keep your dick sticky fingers off my stuff if you go through the window.”

Sanji half raised his hand; “Are you sure you don't want me to take watch tonight?”

“I'm sure.” She nodded solemnly. “I need to take my turn like everyone else. And while I'm asleep tomorrow morning, Sanji, you and Luffy just have to keep the heading West by NorthWest, like I've noted on the map!” She tapped her notebook emphatically. “And nothing can go wrong.” 

Luffy eyed the drawing again and the instructions she'd written out on the opposite page. Where to place the compass, where to align the N and where the bow and whipstaff should be pointing at all times. What to do if it drifts or the wind changed. Which was mainly; 'Wake me up.'

Navigating by day was easy enough, if you knew how to use a compass, it was navigating at night that could be difficult, especially if you used the stars. Nami liked night watch. It was solitary, and quiet, and she could silently appreciate her location, and where she was in her life. Free and sailing the blue with a crew of young men who understood her, who loved her even with her flaws. She just rarely took night watch because Sanji felt compelled to do that kind of work for her, so she could get her 'beauty sleep'. 

It was nice, but she was newly resolute and the boredom of night watch hadn't gnawed away at her patience yet. Besides, she was not going to take advantage of his kindness and neglect her share of work. She may let him take her bathroom cleaning duties, but that was because boys were gross and they always made such a mess in there. Not because she just hated doing it. 

Sanji spent a while, after the lunch meeting broke, planning meals for Nami to take into the crows' nest with her for the next seven nights. He wanted something that could be kept hot in a thermos, or the insulated bento. But not too repetitive or labor intensive to eat. She would be watching the horizon and keeping track of the stars, she didn't need something so intricate it distracted her. Though, if the weather got too hostile, they would pull in the sails and lower the anchor for the night. Like they'd done during their first sleepover, so Merry stayed relatively still in the water and they didn't wind up too off course.

The day went by unfairly slow. The wind pushing them and the snow building up on the deck. They spent hours with deck brushes and shovels keeping it clear because snow could turn into ice, and an icy deck spelled disaster. Thankfully, by the time the sun sat the snow had mostly stopped besides some thin flurries and the occasional icy blast. They sat up a big lantern at midship that illuminated most of the deck save the very bow and stern, but it was enough Nami felt comfortable spending the night up in the air, bundled in quilts and covered in an oil cloth to stay dry. 

“I'll be fine, it seems really cozy!” She snuggled down into her nest with a flashlight, a book, and a hot thermos of tea beside her bento. 

“You sure!” Luffy called up from below. “You're comfortable?”

“Yep! And it's really warm! These hot water bottles were a great idea! But, if I get too cold I'll come wake one of you!”

Luffy grabbed the yard arm and swung himself up to perch near by, just to reassure himself she would be OK. “If you need me just scream!” He paused, “Just don't scream like Zoro does, or I could get confused.”

She spluttered a laugh and tossed a handful of slush at him. “Go to bed!”

“'Kay, night, Nami!”

It was a rather uneventful night, on Nami's end of things. 

For Luffy, it was a bit more exciting.

Luffy didn't exactly mind taking baths. It was just the chore of having to get undressed, and run all the water, and scrub himself while not getting too wet as to feel weak, then dealing with feeling weakness while he soaked. Sometimes he just didn't soak, and only scrubbed himself halfheartedly. Tonight though, was different. 

Sandwich followed him into the bathroom and eyed him nervously as Luffy scrubbed himself.

“It's okay! This is just how people get clean! We can't get away with licking ourselves clean like you can.” He let the cat sniff his scrub brush, and chase a few bubbles Luffy blew between his hands. Then came the part he was dreading, and looking forward to. 

Sandwich stood on his hind feet and peered into the tub distrustfully. Slapped the water with one white tipped paw rather violently, trying to make sure his person wasn't drowning.

Luffy slouched, let his cheek rest on the side of the tub and the heat of the water and mysterious power of it draw him into a weakened intoxication. There were times he liked the feeling, and others he did not. Tonight was one of those rare occassions where he liked it. Found himself frustrated and in need of pressure, or something he had an inkling related to sex, but was too uncomfortable with the idea as of yet, to voice it. Watching Sandwich chase bubbles helped take his mind off it. But the fact remained, he felt lonely in an unfamiliar way. It didn't much make sense to him, he had his friends, his crew. They'd offered to talk and explain things to him, to help him if he wanted to try things for himself, but something in the back of his mind nagged. A little hushed voice that said they would only pity him because his body didn't work like theirs did. He was too different. Should be content with the exemplary innocence thrust upon him, and not long for something he would never achieve. That it was asking too much to desire the title of King of the Pirates, and a fully functional sexuality at the same time. 

Luffy found himself staring at Sandwich, a little jealously. Sandwich hadn't had a choice in the matter. He'd been neutered even before he'd been old enough to know what attraction felt like. May never know. Sometimes Luffy wondered if that wasn't kinder than letting a person discover that want, but not allow them to have it. Or not give them the information to make that decision for themselves because of a percieved or even real disability. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, shifted his knees apart in the tub and settled his hands on his inner thighs. 

A knock came at the door. 

“Occupied!” Luffy called, dunking his head under then sweeping his hair out of his face as he resurfaced. 

“It's Sanji. May I come in?”

He rolled his eyes; “Yeah.”

Sandwich met the door opening with squeaks and violent shaking of his tail in excitement. 

“Oh, hello!” Sanji grinned down at the cat. “What are you doing in here?”

“He likes to chase bubbles.” Luffy demonstrated, and Sandwich launched himself into the air after them. 

Sanji stifled his laughter and bent to scratch the cat behind the ears when he came squeaking for the blonde's attention. “Aren't you clever!” 

Luffy crossed his arms on the edge of the bath and watched them silently, tiredly. “'You gonna bath too?”

“I stink of fish from dinner.” Sanji settled his clean clothes on the shelf over the toilet. “Do you mind?” He motioned to the shower head and stool. “I'll just scrub off.”

Luffy shook his head, looked away because it felt like he should. Sanji was more adult somehow, even though they were relatively the same age. It was presumptuous to watch him change, to admire his body, even in private.

Sanji went about undressing and settling in to wash his hair and scrub himself clean. It was as he was rubbing in the conditioner Usopp had suggested to him that he felt eyes on his back, and glanced over to notice Luffy staring at him with an expression that seemed overwhelmingly sad. 

“What's wrong?” Sanji wiped bubbles from his brow and bent his head to rinse under the spray. 

Luffy shook his head at first. Unsure how to articulate himself. “I feel weird.”

“Water weird? Or emotions weird.” 

“Emotions, I guess.” He drew a curlicue in the moisture on the side of the tub. 

Sanji hummed knowingly; “I can't say I'm in any better condition, honestly.” 

“Oh? I thought you were boyfriends with Usopp and Zoro now?”

Sanji rubbed a little rougher at his scalp. “It's complicated.” 

Luffy hummed back. “I get that.”

“Luffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you like men or women?”

He was quiet, thoughtful. “I like people.”

“I meant sexually.”

“Oh, I know. I just like people.”

“So, both?”

“There's more than two... You've got people like men, and women, then people like Koby who were one then became the other. Then people like Mally, who are one but kind of look like the other. And people like you.”

Sanji felt a weird self-conscious tickle at the back of his mind. “People like me?”

“Yeah. People who can be either, or none, or both.” 

Sanji stared at him, “Luffy, I'm a man.” 

“Sometimes.” Luffy shifted up onto his elbows and propped his chin on his fist. “Then sometimes, when I look at you, you feel like a woman. Or both. Or neither.” 

Sanji's mouth opened and closed, stunned.

“Its not a bad thing, and just because you feel that way to me doesn't mean its what you are. Zoro is like that sometimes. Sometimes he definitely feels like a guy, then sometimes he's neither.” Luffy wrang a wet finger in his ear. “And sometimes I don't feel like either. Sometimes I feel like both. There's nothin' wrong with it. It's just how I am, and how people feel to me.”

“I-- I feel like a girl?”

“Yeah... Like-- You know, your tingles!” He slipped back into the water up to his neck, avoiding the chill of the bathroom.

“My... tingles?”

“Yeah.” Luffy glanced at him as if having 'tingles' was common knowledge. “You know.”

“Pretend I don't.” Sanji turned halfway around, adjusting the towel across his lap. “What tingles?”

“When you meet a person? If their tingles feel good then you know they could be a friend. If they feel all spiky and gross, you know they're not nice.” A sudden, self conscious look settled across his face. “You don't have that?”

“No, Luffy, I don't. People don't have 'tingles.'”

“Bullshit!” Luffy came half out of the water, pointing at him accusingly, expression worried and self-conscious. “You're just saying that! Everybody has tingles! Like, when someone gets mad! You can feel it when they're mad, or upset!”

Sanji's head tilted back, “You're picking up on people's energy!”

Luffy slowly settled back into the bath, still scowling. 

“I've never heard it called tingles before. But, like-- like their aura? Their energy?” He blinked, surprised. “You can tell the difference between a woman's energy and--”

“Yeah.”

Fascinated, Sanji scooted a little closer; “You can tell just by feeling it?”

Luffy nodded. “I don't know how to explain it, but like. Nami feels like a girl. Mally felt kind of like a girl. Usopp feels like a boy, Zoro feels like a boy most of the time. You feel like a mix of everything sometimes and others you don't.”

“So, it-- it's normal?”

“I think so. It all makes you special. It makes you you.” He lounged back in the tub and propped his heels on either side out of the water, toes wiggling. “And I like you. You're nice, and you're my friend.”

“I like you too, Luffy.” He chuckled. 

“Good talk!” Luffy sighed, folding his hands behind his head. “Now hurry up and get out, I need some alone time.”

Sanji choked on laugh and playfully turned the shower spray onto Luffy, trying to drown him. 

*-*-*

Sanji yawned as he crept through Nami's room and out her window, Sandwich tucked under his arm. He left the cat on Luffy's futon and shuffled in socked feet toward his room. It had been a long week, thinking about the proposition Usopp and Zoro had given him. A place with them of he wanted it, without the obligation of sex. He could just watch, or he could participate as much or as little as he wanted. Even if all he agreed to was the occasional night long cuddle session and dates, the sniper and swordsman duo said they would be happy with whatever he was ready for. 

It had taken a lot of the stress off the situation. He could take as long as he needed to make the decision, and he could still enjoy their company. The idea of going on dates with them sounded especially nice. Not just as practice for his hypothetical princess, but as general experience. None of the books he’d read had said dating was out of the question. And Zeff, the few times he'd mentioned going on dates as a concept Sanji should be familiar with, did so with a tone that made Sanji think that it was something someone did often, with many different people. 

He'd seen people on dates come and go through the dining rooms of the Baratie often. It could be a casual or formal affair and Sanji was secretly excited to get the chance to do it himself. 

He was already fantasizing about it when he noticed that Usopp's door was shut, and he could hear warm noises of movement and quickened breath from within. 

Sanji's heart beat kicked up a few notches, and want settled low between his hips. He gnawed his lower lip, eyes locked on the door latch, fingers closed on his own. 

Decision time. Did he disappear into his own room and listen to the sounds of love making from next door while he touched himself, or... or did he knock. Did he dare give himself permission to watch, to feel, and be touched. 

They'd stop, he knew that. They promised they would, and he– he trusted them with that. They wouldn't go farther than he said they could in the beginning. He could trust that whatever happened it wouldn't be too much. 

He released the latch to his own room and turned, heart in his throat, and knocked. 

The noises from beyond went hush. 

Sanji's voice came out in a breathy whisper; “Parlay?”

The shuffle of bodies, and the door opened. 

Usopp was naked from the waist up, locs tied back, sweat beading on his brow and chest– and crouched in the middle of the room with his arms tied behind his back, bandanna over his eyes, and another stuffed into his mouth, was Zoro. 

“Do you want to talk? Or...” Usopp let the word play around in the silence between them, insinuation and possibility like a warm hand up and down Sanji's spine. 

“I don't want sex... but, can I– can I join you?”

Usopp grinned, chin tilting up, eyes heavily lidded. “Where's your line?”

“Touch-- touching is okay. No penetration... Uhm--” His pants felt tight, just looking at the swordsman kneeling there, bound and gagged in nothing but his loose, tented sweats. “Tasting is okay... But, I-- I don't want sex.” He did, but he still held on, stubbornly, to that dream. Not ready to release it into reality. 

“Okay... Safeword is three knocks, or 'Red' when I ask for a color, is that OK?”

Sanji nodded vigorously and stepped on wobbly legs into Usopp's room. 

It was warm inside. Too warm. Too many bodies in a small space. 

“You okay if Sanji joins, big guy?” Usopp slid the lock.

Zoro nodded, breathed heavily through flared nostrils. 

“Wanna say something before we get back to it?” Usopp paused at the swordsman's side and put a hand on his shoulder.

Zoro nodded and Usopp took his gag, let him gasp in a few shuddering breaths. “What took you so long! We're just getting' to the good stuff!”

Usopp chuckled and stuffed the cloth back into his mouth when he turned his head in search of it. “Now be a good boy.” A hand stroked firmly down Zoro's throat, giving a squeeze, a soft threat. “Head down. Need to get our new friend up to speed before we continue... You just relax and enjoy the music.” 

*-*-*

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Chapter Text

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Sanji found himself standing there in the doorway with Usopp staring at him. He seemed larger, more powerful in the dim, flickering lamp light. Eyes so dark they looked black under a shade of sooty lashes. Teeth brilliant between his lips. “Do you have any boundaries tonight, Sanji?”

“I--” Was that squeak his voice? He cleared his throat and tried again. “I don't want sex.”

“Okay. Do you want to be an observer to the scene, or do you want to participate?”

Sanji gave his head a little shake in confusion. 

“If you're just observing, I'm not going to give you orders, and you can touch yourself if you want to. Just no touching me or Zoro while we're playing, but you can do what feels right to yourself while you watch. Afterward, if you want us to touch you we can do that, but you're not playing with us.”

Sanji turned this over in his head. “What if I want to play too?”

Usopp shifted on his feet, smile warm and a little excited. He took a breath before he could speak. “Uh– then I'd give you orders, but you can only touch when and where I say you can.”

“What– uhm– what's the game?”

Usopp crossed his arms and regarded Zoro with a sly grin. “He just got his ass striped because he wasn't listening, and later he's getting a good rough fuck…but right now, we're trying to see who can last longer.”

“Last longer with what?”

“Round Three, Part Two!” Usopp’s voice was low and filled with smug satisfaction. 

Zoro snarled behind his gag and shook his head. 

Usopp huffed, “He thinks he's going to win. But he doesn't realize that he's already lost, especially with you here.”

Zoro snarled a low “Fuck you!” through his gag. 

“What was that?” Usopp turned to him and propped his hands on his waist. “You need another ten?”

Zoro's chin ducked to his chest and he growled threateningly, but went still. 

Usopp turned and took another step toward Sanji, pleased with himself. “So, Sanji, do you want to play?”

“Y-yes, Sir.”

Usopp's eyes sparkled. “Sir? Oh, I think I like that.” He took two slow, swaggering steps forward and hooked a finger under Sanji's chin. “Are you a good boy, Sanji?”

He whimpered, his knees felt weak. His cock harder than he'd ever been in his life. “I hope to be.”

Usopp hummed, trailed his hand down Sanji's neck. “If I tell you to sit on your hands and watch without touching yourself, are you going to be a good boy?”

He shook his head, eyes locked on Usopp's. 

“No! Sounds maybe, like you want punished.” 

A shiver ran down his spine. He nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“Oh, are you a brat too? You know, brats get smacks. Do you think you can handle that?”

His whole body tingled, memory racing back to the slap Usopp had given him that night. A quick firm pop against his behind. 

He'd never considered such a thing could be erotic, but the humiliation of being spanked, of Zoro seeing it, hearing it– How the swordsman had groaned and squeezed himself and begged Usopp to do it again. 

There was power in it. Power in the shame he'd felt at being spanked like an unruly child because Zoro– Stoic, calculating Zoro, had moaned and sagged weakly and stared into his eyes with such burning lust Sanji had lost control of himself and that, he supposed, had opened the floodgates. He was here now because he was addicted to that feeling. Being helpless but suffused with a sense of pride that he could make Zoro weak right alongside him. 

“Have you been a bad boy, Sanji?”

He shivered, nodded. 

“Say it.” Usopp showed his teeth. It was too feral, to dark to be a smile. “Tell me you were a bad boy.”

Sanji whined. “I… I was a very– very bad boy, Sir. I-I thought so many nad things.”

Usopp nuzzled into the damp curling hair at Sanji's ear, voice pitched into a dark purr that sent shivers racing up and down the blonde’s spine. “Do you deserve a spanking, Sanji? 

He whimpered.

“You want that pretty little pink ass striped, like Zoro over there? Or is it something else? What do you want, Sanji?”

“I... I’m dirty. I thought about you, and him. What you do, how you do it. I want that too. I want to taste... to make you come and I want you to make me come-- like a dirty little slut.”

Zoro groaned, low and loud and tilted his head, trying his best to see around the blindfold, but Usopp had tied it just tight enough that there was no way he could peer around or through it. All he had was the sound. The wonton whimper of Sanji's voice. 

Of all the times he'd demanded to be blindfolded, he was missing the blush on those cheeks. What a visual he would make! Zoro groaned and pushed the gag out with his tongue, wobbling dangerously on his knees. “Usopp, take off this fuckin' blindfold right now!”

Usopp launched himself across the futon, grabbed the swordsman by the throat and growled in his ear. “Nope. That's not the game we agreed to. You wanted to see if I could talk you there. No visuals, no touching... Just the sound of my voice. If you want to surrender, I'll take it off. If not, you know what's gonna happen.”

Zoro ground his teeth. Snarled.

Usopp smiled, squeezed a little harder; “Now, you're gonna sit right here, and listen. And feel, and know, unless you want to tap out of this perdicament, you don't get to see any of it. It's all mine. And you get to kneel here and suffer.” He released Zoro's throat slowly, let him gasp in a few deep breaths. “I know how much you wanted this too. So, here's your chance. You know the word you gotta say, and then you can watch it all happen.”

Zoro stubbornly ground his teeth and shook his head. Resigning himself to darkness, and the tantalizing sounds of Sanji being taken apart. 

Usopp let his touch linger as he stood to his full height, tugged at Zoro's hair until his head bent back on his neck. “I'll allow you to speak, because I love those noises you make, but if you get pushy, the gag comes back, got it?”

Zoro's throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Yeah, okay.”

“I think I like the 'Sir'... Why don't you give it a try?”

Zoro's lips curled up, a little defiant, but he growled it between his teeth anyway. “Yes, sir.” 

Usopp palmed himself, stroked through the fabric of his sweats. “Yeah. I do like the sound of that.”

Sanji whined, watching it all play out. Felt weak in his knees and sank down onto the edge of the futon, hands on his thighs, waiting. His fingernails bit into the skin of his palms in anticipation. 

Usopp left the swordsman and approached Sanji, lips pursed in thought. “Okay, Sanji, a few things you've gotta clarify for me before we get to play time.” He stroked over Sanji's damp hair. “What do you consider penetration? Can I use my fingers?”

He was quiet for a few heartbeats, thinking, squirming. “Yeah... yes, sir.” 

“Okay. Do you want to try touching? Like, here?” He cupped the bulge of his erection through his pants and stared down his body into Sanji's upturned face. 

Sanji's hands flexed on his thighs. Uncertain. “Maybe.”

“Okay. What about your mouth? You said you wanted a little taste, is that what you meant?”

Behind him Zoro moaned, bit into his lip hard enough to draw blood and his hips rocked back and forth searching for stimulation. 

Sanji felt the heat building in his face like a rising inferno. “Yes.” 

“Can we taste you?”

His cock gave a hard throb. “Y-yeah... Yes, sir.” 

“That's good... Now, when I ask for a color, if you're okay with what's happening, and where things are going, you say 'Green'. Give it a try.” Usopp cupped his cheek and brushed a calloused thumb against Sanji's pink lips. 

“If I like it, and where its going. I say 'Green'.” 

“Good boy... For any reason, if something feels weird, or you need a break, say 'Yellow'.”

“If I need a break, say 'Yellow'.”

“You're doing great.” Usopp's other hand went to his waistband, drew it down just enough that Sanji could see the end of the dark trail of hair south of his navel. “Now if you need to end things, you don't like something, you're in pain, or you need to stop-- for any reason whatsoever. You say 'Red' or knock three times. Okay?”

“If I-- If I need to stop for any reason, knock three times or say 'Red.'” He leaned forward suddenly and buried his face into the fabric of Usopp's trousers, where thigh met groin; “You smell so good!”

Usopp chuckled and leaned out of his reach, “Just wait,” His thumb traced Sanji's lower lip again, slipping between his cheek and gums. “Open that pretty little mouth for me.”

Zoro whimpered in the background, tossing his head, trying to find even a sliver of visibility around the blindfold. 

Sanji's whole body shook, anticipation and need waring with one another inside, frothing up like a wild animal. Inch by inch Usopp revealed himself, long and dark and thick. Musky with a hint of salt and sweat. 

“Fuck--” Sanji stared, felt the shame and fear in him melting away, a blanket of heat and need and calm settling over him. Humiliation that here he was begging like a whore to suck Usopp's dick while Zoro was less than four feet away fighting to get a look at what was happening. But, maybe that was why he could do it. Why he could part his lips and let Usopp press the head to the softness of his tongue, because Zoro couldn't see it. Couldn't stare and tell him how sexy he looked with his mouth open for a dick. How much it looked like he loved it-- craved it in his soul. He stared at the writhing swordsman's half obscured face and moaned softly against the flesh on his tongue.

Zoro breathed hard, his whole body throbbing. “Fuck-- Fuck!” 

Sanji liked the sound of it. How Usopp huffed in pleasure, and how Zoro muttered and growled in misery at not being able to see, at being tortured with the sound of it, but no visuals. Sanji knew Zoro had done this, there was a fading dark mark of teeth under Usopp's navel that said as much, but maybe, if Sanji was lucky, if he was a good boy. He could do it better. And Zoro would have to kneel there and hear it.

The taste was unpleasant and he couldn't handle more than letting the sniper rub back and forth against his tongue and lips without pulling back to fight a gag, but it seemed to be enough because Usopp was smiling, bright and proud and he hummed his appreciation. 

“There's a good boy. Look at that. What do you think, huh?”

He hummed back, unsure if he had the brain fuction to reply with words. Swallowed the taste, and went back for more. His eyes slipped to the left once more and watched the swordsman twist in his bonds. 

Zoro arched his back, fighting with the rope around his arms, and his trousers and his blindfold, whined like a wounded animal. 

“He wants to see it so bad,” Usopp whispered. “Those soft lips of yours stretched around me. How pink and flushed you are. The need in your eyes-- I think you like it, don't you. You like sucking dick?” 

“Yes-- yes, sir.” His mouth opened wider, lips stretching, felt the head slip behind his teeth. He groaned, pressed both hands over his own straining want, ashamed that he was so hard, so turned on by what was happening. 

“Good boy-- Gooood boy. Gimmie a quick color, okay?”

“Green.”

“Good, now lets try a little more. Let it in.” Usopp tilted his head back, relishing in it. He thought in that moment that he understood why Zoro had been so awestruck when he'd done this the first time. The hesitance, but growing confidence of a fast learner. He let Sanji pull back with a grunt when it became too much. Looked down at that blushing face and wide blue eyes. Pink lips wet with spit. “You're so gorgeous right now. Do you like it? Or do you prefer watching Zoro squirm.” 

Sanji stared up at him, caught. 

“You keep staring at him when you should be looking at me. Thats kind of rude, you know.”

Sanji whimpered. 

“You little slut, already fantasizing about someone else and you literally just had your first taste. Maybe you really do deserve a few stripes of your own.”

Zoro whined, “You fucker… Oh my god.”

“Sanji. Will you do better if I give you another chance? Or do you need to be reminded of who exactly you should be paying attention to?”

He couldn't help it, eyes slipping slowly to the side and locking on the swordsman kneeling in the middle of the room. Desire coursing through him. That sting, the unexpected way it made his nerves flare. 

Usopp had to bite back a giggle. “You're both such brats tonight. Nobody wants to pay attention to me and I was being so good to you!” He clicked his tongue in disappointment, caught Sanji's chin and turned the blonde’s face toward him, forcing a scowl so as not to show how excited he was at the prospect of putting a few handprints on Sanji's ass. “Good boys get rewards, naughty boys get striped. Are you a good boy, or a dirty little slut?”

Sanji's eyelids sagged, breath quickening. “I'm a slut.”

“That's what I thought… Head down.” Usopp guided him down with a firm hand on the back of his neck, pressed until Sanji toppled forward and his cheek pushed into the mattress. “--And get that ass up.”

Firm hands caught his hips, a harsh yank and Sanji found himself with his behind in the air, arms tucked under his chest, whining into the sheet as Usopp's fingers bit into the flesh of his waist. Squeezed.

Usopp pressed forward, rubbing his erection against the seat of Sanji's sweats. “Shit, no wonder Zoro's so obsessed with you. Your body is just–” Usopp’s breath rumbled in his chest. “--You were made to be held like this. Fucked, pegged, I don't think it matters, but goddamn , Sanji.” His hands raked backwards, fingers rigid, almost scratching through the fabric like claws. Then without warning his right hand swung back and came forward hard, the crack of his palm sharp in the stillness of the room. 

Sanji gasped, rocked back into it, but his eyes were locked on Zoro. 

“Gimme a color.”

“Green.” Sanji's core trembled and he felt that cold trickle in his right nostril, blood dripping out onto the fabric of his sleeve. 

The swordsman was visibly shaking, teeth bared, breathing rough and coming out in whines. 

Usopp’s left hand swung back. 

This time Zoro moaned. Whimpered. “Fuck.” Gnawed his lip desperately. 

Right again. Then the left. Each strike like a heartbeat. 

It stung, sharp and humiliating, Sanji wanted to hide his face, but instead moaned louder, arched his back and imagined there was no barrier between his body and Usopp's. Imagined what it would feel like if each impact were a thrust of hips and dick into his body and Zoro was tied up and forced to watch… Imagined that maybe Usopp was was lounging there in the corner of a dark, opulent bedroom stroking himself, watching while Zoro took him roughly from behind. The wedding night of a trio of hedonists destined for fame and fortune–

“Oh, fuck!” Sanji sobbed, toes curling, ass burning, squirming back against the pressure of Usopp’s dick rubbing at his behind. 

Usopp moaned and rocked with him for a few seconds in a half clothed approximation of sex. He could feel how urgently Sanji was pushing back, how much he wanted it with every desperate, heaved breath. How naturally the blonde’s body swayed and arched, ready and willing to be fucked even if his mind wasn't. 

“That's it, baby. That's it. Good boy.” 

Sanji groaned and Usopp pressed both palms firmly to his ass cheeks, rubbing them, the flesh sizzling with the phantom sensation of another strike. “Gooood boy.”

Sanji sniffled, felt himself shaking, aching between his legs. He shuddered and scraped his teeth against his wrist with a groan. 

Usopp chuckled, squeezed the globes of flesh in his hands a little harder. “Horny little slut. You want it so bad, you don't care who fills you up, me or Zoro.”

Sanji bit his lip, groaned and turned his head, trying to meet Usopp's eyes as he deliberately pressed back again. “Please, I need it so bad.”

Usopp sighed, expression sad but firm. “Not happening. Don't make me tie you up too.”

Sanji pouted but let the sniper shuffle backward and away.

“You ready to be a good boy now?”

“Yes, sir.”

They paused long enough for Sanji to stem the blood from his nose with a tissue then Usopp pulled him forward grinning broadly. “Come watch this. Maybe he can teach you a few things, and maybe you can suck him later while I pound his ass.”

Zoro whined, wordless, needy, and straining against his bonds. 

Sanji let himself be drawn, crawling, the four feet to Zoro's side.

“Sit on your hands. Let that sting remind you what happens if you don't pay attention.”

Sanji whimpered, but did as instructed, pressed his palms between his calves and his aching bottom, squirmed from the constriction of his underwear and the chafe of his sweats. Stared as Usopp climbed to his feet and began stroking himself. “Zoro, why don't you show Sanji how a pro does it. Show him how I like it.”

Zoro groaned, long and loud, chanting ‘green green green’ under his breath, let his shoulders sag and his head dip back on his neck. Usopp fisted his hair and the swordsman’s whole body went lax. Pliant and ready to be used, mouth opening, lips over his teeth as Usopp pushed in. 

“Good boy.”

It was staggering. Watching Usopp's length disappear between Zoro's lips. All of it gone, a spasm-- a gag-- and Usopp pulled back, held his hands out of the way so Sanji could watch as he moved Zoro's head back and forth.

It was better than magazines. Better than his imagination, better than that time he'd watched through the keyhole while Patty had made love to his girlfriend when she'd come to visit on his birthday. 

It was slow, and a little rough, but Zoro nuzzled closer, searching for it. Drooled and moaned for more in a hoarse voice and Usopp held him down ten, twenty-- thirty seconds, until he fought for air and pulled back coughing, face red, eyes teary beneath the blindfold, a dark wet stain on the bulge of his sex. 

Sanji throbbed, rocked helplessly, fingers digging into the flesh of his burning behind, mind wondering, dreaming about what it would feel like to be choked like that. Helpless, hopeless, and free of thought. The bulk of his lover's need jammed down his throat. 

“Good boy--” Usopp crooned, petting Zoro's face. “Wanna show him how to take a load?”

“NO--” Sanji warbled. “Please--”

Usopp froze, looked down at him with his eyeborows lifted. 

“Please–” Sanji wriggled closer. “I want–”

Usopp chuckled, breathless. “Oh, you think you can do it? Think you're ready?”

“Please!” He begged rocked forward and mouthed at the naked skin of Usopp's hip, nipped with his teeth and tasted sweat and a bit of Usopp's soap. Beside him Zoro bowed his head, breathing hard, soft whimpering groans coming out with each exhale. His whole chest and face were flushed a dangerous red. Sweat rolling down his neck. 

“I think he wants to make me come, Zoro. Wants to suck me down like you showed him.”

Zoro ground his teeth, bent forward with his brow pressed into Usopp's knees. “Yes, yes, please, sir, please let me hear it!”

“Okay, Sanji. You remember the rules?”

“I'm green... so, green.”

“If you think you're ready, open that mouth for me. Take as much as you can.”

He barely felt the discomfort, his body was burning with want, with triumph.

“Relax your throat,” Zoro panted. “Hold your breath like you're drinking water... breathe between.” 

Usopp was gentler, though Zoro couldn't have known that. Didn't push fast or hard, and kept one hand curled loosely around what Sanji couldn't take into his mouth. “There you go, Baby. That's it.” A hand on the back of his neck, carding into his hair and gripping. Not to move him to Usopp's will, but to offer reassurance. Not tightly to hold him in place, but just to touch. Just a little tug to know he was there, letting him control the motion so he was comfortable. A gentle carress to his cheek with the pad of a thumb to remind him he could stop it all with a word.

He still gagged, backed off and felt drool dribbling from his lower lip, caught a shaking breath and went down again. Usopp's fist bumping gently against his mouth with every push. 

“Oh, Baby... You're doing great. Look at me. Just like that– Hold it there, sweetheart, here it comes!” He inhaled sharply, gave a rumbling groan and Sanji didn't have time to fully pull back. 

It was hot, not a very pleasing texture, and it bubbled out against his tongue and the roof of his mouth. “Oooh, good boy. Let me see it, that's it, open up. Fuck yeah.” 

He gagged a little, back arching in surprise while Usopp pulled back and stroked himself more vigorously, humming through the last of his pleasure. “Good boy.”

Sanji let it sit on his tongue, staring around unsure of himself for long enough that Usopp could see it and swiped a finger through the wetness on his chin. 

“You don't have to swallow, I know it kind of tastes weird.” 

He took the tissues the sniper offered and spat, replaced the stained one he'd stuffed into his nose, then sat back on his heels working his tongue around the inside of his mouth, rubbing gingerly at an ache in his jaw. Pleased, but at the same time unsure if he'd done everything right. 

Usopp dropped to his knees, still catching his breath, and drew Sanji to him. Hugging him. “That was amazing.” A kiss to his brow, his cheek and lips. Tasting himself. “Really amazing!”

Sanji melted into it. Tongue against his own catching the sweet aftertaste of whatever treat Usopp had snuck before bed. Satisfaction spread through his limbs, the need of release almost painful, but-- oh, he'd done it! He'd done it!

“That was beautiful,” Usopp righted his sweats and shifted to sit beside him, pulled him over onto his lap and petted his cheek, his shoulder and the curve of his spine. “You did a hell of a lot better than I did the first time.”

“Yeah?” Sanji's jaw still ached and he pressed his face into Usopp's palm. 

“Yeah. How do you feel?”

“Horny... But good.” 

“Your butt okay?”

He nodded pinched his lower lip with his teeth just to feel the sting. 

Usopp hummed. “Your poor nose. Does it hurt when that happens?” 

“No, its just irritating.” Sanji rolled his eyes. “Mood killer.”

“Nah, its just something that happens. Kind of fun to think I made your blood that hot, and Zoro definitely doesn't mind if all that kissing last time was any indication.”

Sanji hummed, hips shifting in want.

Usopp grinned. “Wanna see something pretty?”

Sanji nodded.

“Watch this.” Usopp cleared his throat. “Zoro.”

Zoro whimpered, breathless and arched forward over himself with his brow pressed into the futon pad. He tilted his face out of the blankets and sought out the sound of Usopp's voice. 

“He’s a fast learner, already got half of me down. And his face blushes like a ripe peach.”

Zoro groaned low and loud, the muscles of his thighs and buttocks tightening and relaxing rhythmically. Searching for friction in the air and the pull of his pants against his erection. 

Usopp giggled, utterly gleeful and whispered into Sanji's hair; “See how flushed he is? He's close. I think we can get him to come untouched. You with me?”

“Yeah.”

Usopp lowered his voice back to that sultry purr. “Wanna hear me make him come, Zoro?”

“God. God, yes! Please, yes!”

“Oh, well, I like the sound of that too, but for tonight, 'Sir' will work... Do you want to hear him come?”

“Yes! Yes, Sir, please, please let me hear him come. Please! ” He flopped over onto his side and Sanji realized the swordsman's ankles were bound to his wrists with a length of off white cotton rope. 

Usopp's hand slid down Sanji's front, fingers splayed across his abdomen, reaching for the straining need between his legs. “This okay, Sanji? Can I get a color?”

“Green!”

Zoro chanted it under his breath in return; “Greengreengreengreen, please!”

“Oh, my good boys.” Usopp caught Sanji up against his chest, mouthed gently at the curve of his neck as one hand went under his shirt, and the other down into his trunks. “If you don't want cum on 'em, you better get these off.” 

The cook whined and fought with his trousers and underwear, pushed them down and struggled a moment to get them off, then rucked his tshirt up and caught the tail between his teeth in an attempt to keep himself quiet.

Usopp chuckled and settled Sanji into his lap once he was bare, back to chest so he had access to all the blonde's most sensitive places. He pulled the bottle of lube from his pocket and sat it aside, let Sanji lean back with his legs spread before he began, a firm finger down the center of his chest, licking kisses to his neck and shoulder. Drinking in the whimpering sounds of his want. 

“How long has it been since you've given this any attention?” He inched his fingers behind Sanji's balls. Snorted in amusement when the blonde twitched in his lap, hips rising and falling. “Get that lube there, Sanji. I wanna see how you do this. How do you play with your hole when you're all alone? Will you show me?”

Sanji's mind skipped across the memories of that night in Zoro's room, and he pressed his knees together. “Last time didn't-- didn't go so well.” 

“Well, this time you have help, if you want it. Or, I can do it for you. Show you how to make yourself feel so good.”

He eyed Usopp's fingers. Remembered how nice they had felt pressing in, stroking that spot that made his body throb and his head spin. “Yeah... Yes, Sir.” 

“Hear that, Zoro? He wants me to pet his pretty little hole open.”

Zoro groaned and buried his face in the blankets. Hips rocking helplessly, the wet stain on the front of his sweats growing by the minute. 

Sanji thought it was a little cruel, torturing him so, but at the same time, how delicious it was to know he'd had part in the feat.

“You know, we tried this before... me talking him to orgasm. It didn't work. He couldn't handle it. I caught him playing with his nipples after only thirty minutes. So, this time, I had to tie him up to make sure he doesn't touch himself.” 

Zoro snarled; “It'd happen easier if you took off this damned blindfold!”

“You said you wanted it earlier. So you know the word I wanna hear! Say it and I'll take off the blindfold!”

“Never!”

“He's just mad because I won last time, and if he surrenders, I win again!” Usopp's hands slipped lower again, stroking firmly up and down Sanji's thighs, spreading him out with his legs hooked over Usopp's knees. 

Sanji felt deliciously vulnerable in this position. Spread open for the world to see. If they'd both been naked, if this had been sex, Usopp could have just-- just pushed up into him with ease in this position. Maybe Zoro's head hovering there. Sucking him while Usopp fucked him. Boneless and moved with their pleasure. Racing toward his own, caught up in their tides. 

Usopp popped the lid on the lube and laid a line of it between his fingers, hummed in delight as he reached down, swirling fingertips against the pucker between Sanji's legs. “Hey again, you remember me?”. 

Sanji whimpered, head dropping back against Usopp's shoulder, eyes rolling. 

“You're so sensitive. Does this feel good? Tell me how good it feels.” Usopp's fingers petted around and around, teasing before one slipped carefully inward--

Sanji jolted, went limp, belly tight dick jerking rapidly. Overcome with the sheer mental image and Usopp's fingertip pressed barely past his opening. Whimpering; “Shiiiiiiit—Oh-oh, fffffuck!”

Usopp flinched, a splatter of cum catching him in the cheek, shocked. Watched Sanji's body pump out an unexpected orgasm with a gasp of delight; “What--” He laughed, pleased as punch with himself. “Holy shit!”

Sanji covered his face with both hands. Humiliated, spent, and boneless, his body twitching with the intensity of the aftershocks. 

“What happened?” Zoro groaned. 

Usopp cooed, pulled Sanji up into a hug. “Aw, baby, it's okay.” He kissed his temple, and across his brow. “Aw, don't hide your face! You did great! That was so fucking hot!”

“Don't patronize me!” He sobbed, and pushed at Usopp's head.

“What happened!” Zoro insisted a little louder. Head raised, wrinkling his nose in an attempt to peek out at them. 

“Things just... happened a little faster than expected.” Usopp said gently. “And I didn't even touch your cock! Sanji, It's alright, really– That was amazing! Okay–Okay, I'm calling a yellow. Everybody take a breath!” He jostled Sanji in his arms until the blonde sat up and took a deep slow breath as instructed. “It's okay! Really its fine!”

“It is not okay!” Sanji snarled between his teeth. Tears blurring his vision. 

“It is! This just means we cool down for round two!”

“Do I have to stay tied up like this if we're having round two?” Zoro sighed, thumping his head back down on the blanket. “I'm getting a cramp.”

“Yeah, nah, I think this counts as a tie.” Usopp crawled over and untied the swordsman's hands, then his legs. “Though I'm pretty sure if you lie there I can get it to happen. You're close, I can tell how you're twitching.”

“I'm out of the headspace for it.” Zoro muttered but let Usopp take off the blindfold. Then he sat up gingerly and stared down at his dick in frustration. “Not how I thought tonight would go.” He glanced up at Sanji, peeking out from between his fingers. “But, I am in no way disappointed.” 

*-*-*

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Chapter Text

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“Why does this keep happening?” Sanji muttered to himself, then turned away to hide his nakedness. “Why can't things go to plan once!”

“Maybe you're expecting too much.” Usopp climbed to his feet and began tidying away the used tissues and the soft cotton bondage rope. “Like... we had to get a speech from Nami about why it's not a good idea to expect perfection.”

Zoro rolled his eyes; “Ugh-- Boner kill. Why'd you have to bring her up.” 

Usopp grinned, “Or, maybe you just came because it felt too good. You did a lot of stuff for your first actual scene. You sucked dick, got spanked, watched Zoro get face fucked. Thats a lot! And all of it was sexy as hell! Maybe it was just how your body responded.”

Zoro gave half a nod of agreement as he stripped gingerly out of his pants. “That was a lot. Don't be hard on yourself. You did great. And coming untouched is a talent. Not everyone can do that.”

Usopp turned to Sanji. “He's right! You were amazing! I'm-- My mind is blown! You did so good, baby. I promise. We're not upset. Its okay. Things like this happen…and honestly, that was some serious height you got with that. It hit me in the face!” He shuffled a little closer, head tilting in concern. “Are you OK?”

“Yes... Just humiliated, and not in the good way.” 

Zoro stretched his legs and shoulders, sex bobbing and Sanji got a look at the reddened handprints on the swordsman’s behind. “Well, it sounded hot. You make these soft little noises. Hell, you made Usopp make noises, and he can come without making a sound if he wants to! So, stop worrying. Sometimes the body says its done before we want it to be. There's no shame in that. It almost happened to me when Usopp sucked me the first time.”

“Yeah, it happens.” Usopp agreed. “We get it. I've got some water here, why don't you have a drink.” He poured a cup and took it over, then pressed a pineapple flavored taffy into Sanji's hand. “This helps get the taste out of your mouth.”

Sanji sipped at the water then unwrapped the taffy and slipped it between his teeth. He sat there watching them over his shoulder and mopping the mess off his skin with a tissue. “You're not disappointed?”

“Of course not!” Usopp scoffed. 

Zoro shifted over onto his back when Usopp lowered himself to sit at his hip. “If you're that worried it’ll be a regular occurance they make things to keep you up longer.” 

“What kind of things?” Sanji shifted a little, still not completely facing them. He found the sight of his own flacid cock a little pitiful at the moment and couldn't bear letting them see. 

“Cock rings, sleeves, pills, you name it.” Zoro hummed thoughtfully. “Then there's piercings, but I'm not exactly--” He shivered, “Sorry, I like piercings, but the idea of someone piercing my dick is a little much for me.”

Usopp winced visibly. “Sounds painful.” 

“I don't know, but I've heard that getting a blowjob from someone with a tongue ring is really good.” Zoro crossed his arms behind his head. “I've thought about it a few times, but never had enough money when I found a piercer I could trust.”

“So...” Sanji blinked at them in confusion. “So what now? You-- you just have sex?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Usopp stretched his arms over his head and popped his back.

“I want my ass pounded.” Zoro rolled his head on his neck. “He's got basically no fucking refractory period, and he can give it hard and fast. After a week of sitting up all night watching this cloud go over, and that cloud go over. Or some random whale swim past. I want something exciting. I want my ass to feel something other than the cold floor of the crow's nest, and an orgasm so good I pass out.”

“Simple things,” Usopp snorted. “He's a simple man.” 

“Gimmie some booze, good food, and a nice hard fuck and I'm happy.”

“I don't know,” Usopp teased, pushing the swordsman's leg up to get access to his opening. “You do pretty good on a diet of dick and hot tea too.” He leaned forward and claimed Zoro's lips, a bruising kind of kiss that left them both a little breathless. 

Sanji knew what that kind of kiss felt like. A tingle of reawakened desire settled low in his belly. 

“Yeah-- yeah, dick tastes good too.” Zoro tilted his head back, let the sniper menace his throat. Caught Sanji's eye and smirked. “Why don't you get a little closer. I won't bite-- unless you want me to.” 

It felt a little awkward at first, so he didn't move. Just sat there watching Usopp's hands, and Zoro's face. How his brows tilted up and his expression softened with pleasure as the sniper's deft fingers moved. 

And then, Sanji found himself speaking. Curiosity, and perhaps a little bit of post orgasm loss of inhibitions. “Can you use your mouth down there?”

Zoro choked out a laugh. 

Usopp froze, looked down into the swordsman's eyes. A sly little grin spread across his face. 

Zoro's mouth opened and closed and he let out a pent up breath. “Uh-- yeah, yeah, you can do that.” 

“Nevermind,” Sanji crossed his arms. “That's how you get dysentery.”

“Well,” Zoro pushed a hand into his hair, fighting to kick his brain back into full gear. “If you've got protection. I mean... That's why I usually suck dick with condoms. It tastes like rubber, but you get flavored lube and it's okay. Uhm... Oral dams keep your mouth clean, so you can if you want to I guess.” 

“Man, I've seen you eat food that's dropped on the ground!” Usopp muttered. “I had to make you brush your teeth earlier.”

“There's a difference between a little dirt and going ass to mouth unprotected. I'm not that desperate.”

“What's an oral dam?” Sanji shuffled a little closer.

“It’s a sheet of rubber you stretch between your fingers,” Zoro held his hands up, forefingers and thumbs extended. So you can do oral stuff on girls or-- or asses without exposing yourself to stuff–”

“Have I exposed myself to stuff?” Sanji stared at Usopp in shock.

“You're fine,” Zoro batted at him. “I've been tested recently, and Usopp was a virgin.”

“And we both just showered, because I'm not sucking anything unless its clean.” Usopp glared down at the swordsman. 

“Shut up, you weren't that sweaty.” Zoro rolled his eyes; “Anyway, you're fine.” He cleared his throat and continued. “But, Oral dams… You can buy them, or if you're short on cash you can make them out of condoms. Mine don't stretch as nice as latex ones, but I really don't want to swell up like a balloon, so mine are all we've got.” He fumbled over his head for the strip of condoms Usopp had pulled out earlier and tossed a few toward Sanji. “You cut the tip off, and then down the length so you've got a single squareish sheet. Stretch it between your fingers like bread dough, and do the oral stuff through it.”

Usopp pulled back and made a similar window shape with his fingers and thumb. “I don't get it--”

Zoro kicked at him. “Can you get with the fucking? I'll show you after! I haven't tapped out! I'm not touching it, so you hold up your end of the deal! You owe me two orgasms!”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry!” Usopp hesitated, eyes locked on Zoro's hole. “You know what. I'm really curious now. What does that even feel like?”

Zoro groaned and scratched furiously at his scalp. “The guys I've been with only wanted to fuck, you think they gave a shit about eating ass? I don't know what it feels like, now come on!” He hiked his own leg up and held it behind the knee, motioning for Usopp to continue, but that devilish look was back in the sniper's face.

“You know, you're really pushy when you're not in scene.” Usopp scowled. “If you want ten more smacks you just gotta ask.”

“I want to come sometime before dawn.”

“Well, I wanna try it.” Usopp fumbled for some tissues and cleaned his hand, then wrestled past Zoro's growling and grabbing and fished a pair of scissors from one of his drawers. 

Sanji crawled over to help, peeling open one of the condoms and unrolling it. “Why does it feel weird?”

“It's not latex.” Zoro grumbled, rubbing his brow. “I don't have time for this. If you're not gonna get me off I'm gonna go do it myself!”

“Just hold on!” Usopp unwrapped his own and made the cuts, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. “Then you hold it like this?” He held either end of the sheet with his middle and ring fingers, index hooked into the top edge and rotated his hands, using his thumbs to stretch the bottom edge of the material.

It slipped free but he managed to get it on the second try. Glancing over to see Sanji had managed it as well. “Nice!” He chuckled approvingly. 

Zoro motioned violently at his crotch. “Can we get back to the fucking now!”

Usopp grinned, “Want me to eat your ass?”

Zoro's face went slack. Eyes kind of glazed. “Huh?”

“I said I wanted to try it. You up for it?”

Zoro blinked in surprise. “You're serious?”

“Yeah. How do you do it? Like, what position is best? The magazines didn't really give instructions amd my imagination can only go so far.”

“Uhm...” Zoro sat up, made small motions with his hands as he went through the spacial logistics of having one's ass eaten. “I don't know, I honestly only know how to make those things because a lady gave an adult sex ed class at the Funky Bar and there was free beer if you went.”

The three of them stared at one another. 

Sanji sat his jaw. “Maybe hands and knees? That seems less adventurous.”

Zoro shrugged, a little giddy, and rolled to his hands and knees. “Okay, give it a shot.” He leaned forward, crossing his arms under his head and pressed his chest down. 

Usopp shuffled over put one hand to each cheek and pressed them carefully apart, stretching the dam between. “I don't know about the angle, but--” He lowered his head. 

Zoro's mouth opened, eyes squeezing shut and his back arched up; “Mother fuck!” He groaned deep and turned his face into the pillows. Pawing at the fabric. “Oh, god.”

Usopp leaned back, grinning evilly. “Now that was a noise. You okay?”

“Yeah!” It sounded higher pitched and more unhinged than he'd intended. “Yeah, keep-- keep going, you're doin' great!”

Sanji inched closer, could hear Zoro snarling and chewing on the pillow under his face, the little twitches in his legs and the muscles of his flank. Saw the realization spark across Usopp's face as he pulled away to breathe, then bowed in again jaw flexing as he tilted his head for a better angle. 

Zoro squirmed. Reached backward with one hand and grabbed Usopp by the hair, grinding back against his face. “Ho-ooly fuck-- Fuck me! Just-just fuck me!”

Usopp let him pull for about thirty seconds, then reached upward and untangled the digits from his locs. Sat back on his heels and panted for breath. “You're shaking!” He shoved his sweats down and palmed himself, stroking roughly as he reached forward again, sinking two fingers deep into Zoro's hole without hesitation. “Look at that! A little tongue action and you open up like a slut!”

Zoro moaned, groped at the pillow, the blankets, found the tube of lubricant and shoved it backward to Usopp with a wordless whine. Hips rocking impatiently. 

Sanji watched, breath quick, arousal spiking.

Zoro pressed back with his hips and up onto his hands, teeth bared, eyes feral. “Fuckin' hurry up!”

Usopp gave him a smack and he went down again onto his elbows with an aborted curse, whining and shifting his legs in need.

Sanji realized the swordsman had yet to touch himself. His cock hanging there beneath him heavy and so dark it looked painful, the veins standing out proud and his balls drawn up close to his body. 

How he hadn't come yet, after everything, Sanji didn't know. 

The lube made a noise as Usopp squeezed some out onto his fingers, but he just shook the tube and kept going, muttering to himself in urgency. Then it seemed he attacked. Two fingers in deep and his hand moved quick, up and down, as if shaking Zoro open from the inside. 

“Ah! God!” Zoro clawed at the sheet, pressed back into the pressure and stretched, arched his back onto Usopp's hand, legs visibly shaking. “I need-- Fuck! Please, I'm green. I-I need it! I'm green! I'm green! Just-just fuck me!”

“Nuh-uh. Not yet. You said two orgasms.” He leaned forward and sank his teeth into the soft upper curve of Zoro's left cheek. Quick and hard enough that a bruise shaped like the bite would linger for days above the fading pink imprint of his hand. 

Zoro whined, back arching voice pulled into frantic gasping moans. He turned his face out of the sheet and his hazy gray eyes locked with Sanji's. 

Usopp grinned, bright and dangerous, “Yeah, look at him. Isn't he pretty. The little virgin slut… Sucked my dick like he was born to do it. Like he couldn't help himself. He gets this look in his eyes, like stormy seas. Like hes starving for it… And the whole time he was looking at you. Every time you moaned or twitched he got excited…does this turn you on, Sanji? Look at him now. Bent over, presenting himself like he's in heat.”

Sanji's mouth opened, shocked, delighted. Watched how Zoro's eyes rolled as Usopp's fingers worked inside him. All four now, pushing in and out at a near brutal pace. Zoro's face was red, expression twisted in ecstasy. So roughly handled and adoring it. Craving it. 

“You both want it so bad. If there were two of me, I'd fuck you both face to face so you could watch how much the other loves being dicked so hard you can't move.” Usopp bared his teeth, rubbing at Zoro's rim as if trying to maybe slip his thumb in there too. “Come on, big guy. Show him how good it feels.”

Zoro's eyes rolled back and his whole body went through a brief spasm, as if he'd been electrocuted, legs twitching, toes curling, chest pushed hard into the sheet, fingers and teeth shredding Usopp’s pillowcase. He screamed, pushing back hard against Usopp’s hands, trembling. Splashing the sheet and his own chest with cum. 

Usopp snarled, hand still moving, harsh and unforgiving, forcing pleasure through every overstimulated nerve. 

Zoro sobbed, fighting for breath, and collapsed forward, ass still up only by virtue of Usopp keeping a grip on his hips. 

Sanji whined along with him, enraptured, the wonton arch if Zoro's brows and the relief in his cries seared eternally into his memory. 

“That's it,” Usopp hummed, pleased and reached for the condoms, hissed as he rolled one on. Gripping himself behind the head so he could rub teasingly back and forth against Zoro's hole. “Gimme a color.”

Zoro pried his eyes open, still weakly gasping for breath. “Green.”

Usopp pulled him back, pushing in with the head of his cock. “There you go-- Mmmmm.”

Zoro groaned, overstimulated and drunk with lust. Wordless moans and whines as Usopp moved, slowly, tenderly. Kissed the back of his neck. “So good for me. Such pretty noises. You're so hot inside. Squeezing me. I'm gonna fuck you nice and slow, keep you hard. I'm not waiting no thirty minutes for you to lay there like a lazy cat and decide to get hard again. No, right now this hole is mine and you're gonna stay hard. Then I'm gonna fuck you so rough you're not going to be able to move after. And we'll see if I can get you to come twice in a row. See if I can make you scream so loud Nami thinks about dick.”

Zoro groaned, playful even as Usopp leaned over him, pinning his shoulders down to lend speed to his thrusts. “Boner kill.”

Usopp laughed. “Sorry, couldn't help myself.” 

Zoro turned his head, the need crawling back under his skin. “Let me up.”

Usopp shifted carefully, not bothering to pull out and curled an arm around Zoro's waist. He sat back on his heels and pulled, drawing the swordsman up into his lap. 

Zoro's head tilted back against his brow, breathing even, legs flexing to allow better movement, rocking up and back, down and forward, riding him. Slow at first, but growing speed. Long, low moans echoing in the room.

“That's it, you ready?”

Zoro nodded, found Usopp's hand gripping his hip and tangled their fingers together. 

Usopp leaned back and gripped the swordsman's hips tighter, pulled him into a number of quick, hard thrusts and didn't slow down. 

Sanji’s mouth was hanging open. The sound of it. Wet slaps of skin, a heavy living sound. Soft grunts of exertion. He curled a hand around himself, pulling in time with each thrust. Watching with wide eyes and blown pupils. Imagining what it would feel like to be in Zoro's place. To be held so close, and fucked so roughly. The look of mindless ecstasy on Zoro's face, curling an arm up around Usopp's neck and pulling him into a kiss. The flex of abdominal muscles working to keep the motion stable. The hint of it all happening between his spread legs Sanji could see every time they moved apart. It looked like heaven. 

In his mind's eye he imagined that room, that hidden grotto from his dream. A wedding night, a secluded cabin with his pirate lovers. The visceral reality of love and sex. The hot, panted breath and gripping fingers sure to leave bruises. The way Usopp handled him so tenderly, and so firmly. Pressing a palm to Zoro's throat while he rocked, lingering kisses to his cheek, the back of his neck and shoulder, a bit of moisture leaking from an eye. Lusty moans, and growls of encouragement. 

“That's it, baby, take it-- Fuuuuck!”

Sanji wanted it. All of it. He wanted it so badly he thought he would die from it. Stroked himself frantically in hopes of reaching even a fraction of that bliss. 

Zoro's head tipped back and he cried out, Usopp pinning his hips close as he shook, riding out a second climax with twitching legs and heaving chest. Usopp followed, gritting his teeth and rocking up into the swordsman a handful of times, breathing through flared nostrils against his shoulder. Then they were still, shivering and catching their breath and Sanji sat there his own end coating his fingers, seperate, jealous. Knowing what he wanted, and what he didn't believe he could ever deserve. 

*-*-*

*-*-*

*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*

Sanji liked aftercare. Even somewhat ebjoyed sneaking past Luffy where he was curled into a tight ball in his hammock, hidden completely by his blankets and pillows. 

He even liked sitting on the edge of the tub with his feet in the water while Zoro soaked and leaned bonelessly against him, and Usopp rubbed his back. 

“You know,” Zoro started, voice soft and almost dreamy. “I'm starting to think my experiences with sex before you were all shitty.”

Usopp snorted. “What?”

“Nobody ever cared as much about if I enjoyed myself or not. They all kind of just assumed it was good if I came.”

Sanji shifted his feet in the water, prodding Zoro's thighs with his toes. “Like, with the vibrator. I came, but I don't know if it was necessarily good or not.”

“Was this time better?”

Sanji squirmed. “I'm not exactly pleased with how it ended, but yes, it was much better.” He ducked his head, found himself playing with Zoro's damp hair, and for lack of something better to do with his hands, massaging his scalp. 

Usopp found a tight knot of muscle beneath Sanji's right shoulder blade and pressed at it more firmly with his thumbs. “Well, I might be weird, but I'm not going to be able to enjoy myself if who I'm with isn't enjoying themselves.”

“That's the thing!” Zoro said, tilting his head back against Sanji's thigh. “I didn't realize there would be such a difference! I thought I–” He yawned. “I thought I really enjoyed the whole rough and calculated thing, and I do like it rough– well, maybe hard and fast is a better way to describe it– because that tonight? God damn , that was IT.” He sighed, content. “And fuck those other guys, getting your ass eaten is totally worth it, I don't think I've ever come that hard.”

Usopp laughed quietly. “You know this means someone has to do me next, right? Because you were writhing.”

Zoro tilted his head and peered up past Sanji's shoulder. “If you didn't have early morning watch.”

“Maybe tomorrow night?” Usopp bit his lip, teasing and hopeful. 

Sanji giggled at the hungry look Zoro sent the sniper. “You're making me jealous.”

“If you're interested, I don't think getting your ass eaten means you have to fuck after.” Usopp moved up the cook's neck, fingers working magic into the sore muscles of Sanji's jaw. 

He let his head drop back into the pressure, sighed contentedly. “What if I want to be fucked after.”

Usopp met Zoro's eyes over Sanji's shoulder, then let the blonde lean back against his bare chest, arms enveloping him. “I thought you didn't want to have sex.”

Sanji hesitated. “I've just had this idea in my head for years about how things should go. How I wanted them to be, but– I'm not so sure that's what I want anymore.”

Zoro hooked an arm around Sanji's left leg caught up his foot between his hands and squeezed gently at his heel and instep. “This isn't a decision you should make so soon after a scene.”

“I know, but it… It isn't something new. I’ve been thinking about it since Mona Costa… Longer if I’m being honest.”

“You mean the wedding night thing? How did you think it would go?” Usopp sat on the shower stool and leaned against the tub chin resting on his folded arms. 

Sanji dipped his head self consciously. “A lot of it is visual… Setting the mood and atmosphere. But some of it– some of it wasn't the wedding night thing.”

“You have a sex fantasy that isn't the wedding night thing?” Zoro looked up at him with a smirk. “I’m shocked.”

Sanji nudged him with his right foot, too gentle to really be called a kick. “I have quite a few fantasies. Just, not ones that I wanted so much.”

“What are they?” Usopp tugged playfully at Sanji's towel. 

“It would be easier if I just showed you when we're finished here.”

“Showed us?” Usopp lifted an eyebrow. “If we're going to play some more why are we bothering to bathe now?”

“No, I– I have books, and magazines.”

Zoro lifted his head, eyes wide and mouth open in faux surprise. “He's gonna share his porn with us!”

Usopp laughed. 

Sanji tugged Zoro's hair, more out of annoyance than malice. “Shut up, like you don't have porn stashed away somewhere in that recycling bin you call a room.”

“I've never looked at porn in my life!”

Usopp shook, trying to suffocate his laughter. 

Zoro broke, hunched in on himself giggling. “I have one , very well loved, magazine. And honestly I don't remember which drawer I put it in.”

Usopp managed to pull himself together. “I stole one of Nami's romance novels. And I have an extremely vivid imagination, and the ability to draw.”

Sanji snorted. “Nami steals my romance novels.”

Zoro cackled and the water in the tub sloshed. “I knew it! I knew you read those things!”

“Ninety percent of my sex education came from romance novels patrons accidentally left at the Baratie.” Sanji admitted shyly. 

“Oh my God, that explains so much!” Usopp sat up with his hands on his head. “Those things are so unrealistic! I mean, even I knew that! And Syrup Village is the backwater Hicksville of the Gecko Islands!”

Zoro was still giggling helplessly. 

“I know!” Sanji whined. “Zeff told me over and over that they're meant for teenaged girls and old women too dried up to feel a tack on their chairs let alone anything like desire! But they were so soft and beautiful and descriptive! And they made me feel like someone might understand and… And maybe love me the way I wanted to be loved.”

Usopp’s mouth opened but Zoro lunged halfway out of the tub to put a hand over the sniper’s mouth. “No! Don't you dare mind fuck him with your psychoanalytic bullshit!”

Usopp scowled and mumbled around Zoro's palm. “I wasn't gonna say anything.”

“Yeah right! I know that look! That's the same look of epiphany you had back in that bathroom when you gave me a damned existential crisis!”

Sanji was blinking rapidly in surprise. “‘Psychoanalytic?’ ‘Existential crisis?’ Since when do you use words over two syllables!”

“I have an extensive vocabulary, thank you very much! I just don't always know what to say. But I do know this asshole will mind fuck you if given half a chance. And if you lose it at a little teasing I'd hate to see what happens when he dumps a full breakdown of the trauma of your sexual awakening on your ass thirty minutes after you suck dick for the first time.”

Usopp pulled Zoro's hand away. “I was just gonna say he's a romantic soul.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” Zoro climbed unsteadily to his feet and reached for a towel. 

“And that romance novels being his primary source of sex education explains partially why he's so fixated on virginity. They're written for people who have sexual regret, as a way to escape reality and potentially hype up their sex drive. They can live vicariously through a one dimensional character who has suffered in an exaggerated way, but still gets everything she's ever wanted out of an unrealistic but highly desirable love interest.”

Sanji winced. 

Zoro's shoulders slumped. “You jackass!”

“To be fair, that isn't psychoanalysis, that's just common sense.” Usopp shrugged innocently. 

Sanji rubbed his face tiredly. “Alright, I get it! I know it's ridiculous! I know! Zeff and Carne made it very clear that romance novels are garbage! But, I still liked them. I liked how they made me feel because that want was very real!” He hesitated, stomach tight in apprehension. “I don't know if it’s just habit at this point or if its a way for me to escape the reality of myself and feel love the way I've always wanted it to be. But, I like them. They're lovely and sometimes exciting and they give me a way to explore things about myself without having to think too hard about it all. I know you won't understand, but… I like them.”

Zoro took a slow breath and let it out. “You don't honestly think I've never read one before, do you? I know what they're like, and yeah. It makes a lot of sense that its where you got your ideas of romance.”

Sanji blinked in surprise. “You can read?”

“Why does everyone think I'm illiterate!” Zoro angrily scoured himself with the towel. “Yes, I can read! I can read and speak two different languages!”

Sanji eased his legs out of the water and gave the plug a yank. “It's not like you made that known.” He shook his head. “Anyway! It would be easier to explain everything if I show you.”

Zoro muttered about not understanding why everyone thought he was stupid and finished drying himself. 

Usopp grinned. “Told you I wasn't going to mind fuck him.”

*-*-*

Luffy was still huddled in his hammock when they crept back to Usopp’s room but Sandwich had taken up residence on his head and gave them a warning little grumble when Usopp crept closer to make sure their captain was still breathing. 

Usopp gave the cat a look, offended that he felt the need to growl and stuck out his tongue childishly. 

Sanji disappeared into his room to ‘get things’ while Usopp and Zoro changed out the top sheet on the futon and played a quick game of rock-paper-scissors to see who would be the one to wash it in the morning. 

Usopp won, and Zoro rolled his eyes. 

Usopp was just spreading out the blankets when Sanji returned with a stack of magazines in hand and a single tattered book. Unlike those he had been seen reading on deck or while taking a break at the galley table, this one was tattered, the spine cracked and pages ruffled. 

“How old is that book!” Usopp stared at it in awe. “Its ancient!” 

Sanji wouldn't let him take it from the stack as he lowered himself to sit near where Zoro had sprawled himself. “Not that one… Not yet.”

Usopp relented. 

Most of the magazines were well read, pages curled and worn. Usopp recognized them as mass produced things that came in discreet brown paper envelopes through the mail. Things his mother had called ‘Sailing Papers.’

He'd called them that in his head for years, until he'd stolen one as a curious fifteen year old and opened a door to a years long secret habit. After that, every so often, he'd snatch one of those envelopes if he saw them in someone's letter box, and run with it. Scandalized by what kinky secrets he discovered about his neighbors but delighted by the explicit treasure within, no matter the gender of the subjects. 

Stepping into Mally’s curtained room had made him realize that those envelopes weren't the only way you could aquire porn. He'd seen curtained rooms like that often enough but had always assumed, innocently perhaps nievely, that it was just for the owner’s privacy. But now he understood it was for the ‘discerning adult’, and couldn't wait to see what the next curtained door would hold. 

Sanji's magazines, though old, were very well cared for. It was obvious however, from the way the edges of the pages were bent which ones were his favorites. 

Most were rather tame, a well placed scrap of lace or a crinkled bed sheet preventing any visualization of the female anatomy other than breasts. And to be fair one didn't have to look far when pirates were concerned, to find bare breasts. Some lady pirates used them to great distracting, or economic benefit. 

“Is all of this soft porn?” Zoro smirked and picked up another magazine. He opened it to a random page and his eyes widened. “Nope , nevermind!”

Usopp snorted and leaned over to see what he'd found. He gave a dirty, amused chuckle: “How many does she have in there!”

“Too many.” Zoro's nose wrinkled in muted discomfort. “Never understood why some guys thought vaginas were so awesome. That doesn't look awesome. That looks painful.”

“She looks like shes enjoying it.” Usopp mumbled and turned back to the edition in his own hands. He chuckled. “This one's lesbian porn! Sanji, you freak!” he open it and showcased the women posing as naughty nurses on medical equipment and their poor young patient with a spreader bar. “Now I know why there was no doctor in the Baratie!”

Sanji rolled his eyes and slapped it out of his hands. “This one!”

It was a small magazine, one of the local things some islands had, to give a cheaper option compared to those imported from other areas. More of a large pamphlet than anything, with mostly grayscale images throughout. The cover wss in color, a man and woman posed on a lake shore with a castle in the background. Wildflowers scattered across the foreground and flower petals drifting in the wind. 

“‘Romance de Fantasía!’” Usopp read the title aloud and cuddled back against Zoro's hip so they could both see as he paged through it. “Looks fancy.”

It was shot like a story. Every other page having about a paragraph of text in the lower corner, setting the scene and introducing the characters. 

“I cant read it.” Usopp pouted. “What language is this?” 

“Castilian.” Zoro mumbled, sitting up and hooking his chin on Usopp’s shoulder. “Her name is Anju, his is Dominico…”

Usopp turned slowly and eyed the swordsman. “You speak Castilian?”

“I know enough to tell what are names and what aren't.”

Usopp turned to Sanji. “What about you?”

“I'm not fluent, but–” He pointed to the cover. “Anju and Dominico are arranged to be married…they don't know one another well. But they are confident that their dedication to building love will be enough. The story isn't exactly important, it was the visuals. That– that's what I wanted my wedding night to be like.”

And what visuals they were. The first handful of pages were of the wedding, closeups of their faces, Anju’s blush at having to kiss in front of everyone. 

Shy but encouraging glances. Dominico carrying her into their bridal chamber. The centerfold was in color, a poster like image of them fully clothed spread out on an opulent bed in a castle. Smiling and gazing longingly into one another's eyes. 

“The budget for this was fucking nuts!” Usopp muttered. “This looks like a real castle!”

Zoro was already trying to turn the page. “Why waste the centerfold on them fully clothed!”

“This magazine was famous in the North.” Sanji started. “It–it's a small publication, always amateur models… It's rumored that a few rather famous pirates were in it for an issue or more… but that is a real castle.” His voice caught in his throat, heart beating quick. “I was born there.”

Usopp and Zoro both looked up slowly, eyes wide. “What?”

Sanji couldn't quite meet their eyes. “Its not something I want to get into right now. But, yeah.”

“Holy shit!” Usopp gave his head a shake. “That's crazy. Its beautiful, but crazy! Is it like a hotel, or a hospital or something?”

“It doesn't exist anymore unfortunately. The government tore it down.”

“That sucks.” Usopp turned back to the cover for a moment and admired it. Then he continued his perusal. 

Zoro's gaze lingered on the cook, even as Usopp turned the pages. “You were born in the north?”

Sanji nodded. 

“So you crossed the Red Line?”

Another nod, Sanji picked nervously at his sleeve. “I didn't see anything, I wasn't… I was sick, so I didn't see anything.”

“Ah, here's the good parts!” Usopp wagged the magazine indicating the nudity. “This is like a romance novel with pictures!” 

“Essentially.” Sanji turned away from the swordsman, eyes still lowered in uncertainty. “That's what they were famous for.”

“I don't think the sex is the point,” Zoro took the booklet out of Usopp’s hands and paged through it on his own. “I think I get why you want to wait for your princess.” There was a soft little grin on Zoro's face by the time he slowly made it to the end of the book. “This makes it feel really romantic and stuff.”

“Yeah, its beautiful.” Usopp stretched his legs out and gave Sanji's hip a tap with his foot. “Sweet and gentle.”

Sanji nodded, and gave himself a shake to shore up his resolve, then produced the tattered novel. “This one needs some clarification.”

Zoro tucked the little castle booklet under his hip and regarded the cook seriously. “Clarification?”

Sanji's face scrunched, “It's very obvious, barring the few lesbian magazines, that all of this is heterosexual porn.”

“And a lot of it is soft porn.” Zoro goaded, trying to break the nervous energy hanging around Sanji's neck. 

Sanji rolled his eyes. “I took what I could steal out of the lost and found. Carne or Patty or one of the other bastards always got the good stuff before I got there.”

Usopp chuckled. 

“But, this– this was the first time I read something and really thought about what it would be like with another man… and the clarification is this isn't a romance novel in the traditional sense. Not to me. I don't give a shit if people see me reading romance novels, but, I wouldn't have been caught dead with this thing even a week ago, so the fact I'm even showing you is big for me, okay?”

Usopp straightened his back, eyes serious. “Okay.”

The cover was simple, blue with the embossed outline of a ship at sea and the title “The Pirate Lord’s Bounty.”

“I thought you said you'd never been attracted to men before.” Zoro grinned. 

“Usopp isn't the only one who lies.”

“I elaborate. I don't lie–” He winced when Zoro glared at the side of his head. “--all the time.”

Sanji rubbed his neck nervously. “Anyway, the story summary is, man and woman are to be married, man plans to kill the woman and her whole family and blame the pirate lord so the king will give him permission to hunt him down and kill him–”

“I thought you said this was gay?”

Sanji's cheeks went red. “The book isn't… But the fact that I wanted to be the woman definitely was.”

Zoro grinned. 

“I wanted the pirate lord to do all the things he does to Maeva to me. And that was a first. All the other books, I wanted to be the guy… This time I didn't, I wanted him to do various lewd and unspeakable things to my body.”

“I kind of want to read this book! Is it that good?” Usopp took it carefully when Sanji handed it over. 

Zoro shuffled closer grinning like the devil. “What page is the sex on?”

Sanji groaned and covered his face. “One hundred five… One hundred fifty seven… Two thirty six and they actually have sex for the first time on three eleven.”

Zoro stared at him. 

Sanji ticked them off on his fingers. “She secretly watches him masturbate, then later he listens to her. They fight, make out, almost have sex, but he refuses to go through with it because he doesn't think he deserves her and he doesn't want to take her virginity when she could still find an ‘honest husband.’ Then he gets shot and they have to hide in the mountains. They realize they've fallen in love and have wildly explicit, toe curling sex all over the place before he goes off to confront the murdering bastard of a fiancé… And whoever left it at the restaurant ripped out the last thirty or so pages! So, I don't know if he lives or dies because it’s definitely the type of book that could easily kill him off days after he confesses his love and they finally fuck! And it's been the absolute bane of my existence for years because I can't find another copy of it anywhere! And I want to know how it fucking ends!”

Usopp huffed. “Yeah, I definitely have to read this book.”

Sanji flopped over dramatically. “It's amazing. And I want both… I

I want my beautiful gentle wedding night, and I want to be absolutely ravaged in a cabin in the mountains and I don't know which one I want more.”

Zoro rubbed his face tiredly. “Well that definitely explains a lot.”

“A lot alot.” Usopp was already flipping through pages to find the sexy parts. “I kind of want to be ravaged in a cabin in the mountains after that one.” He found what he was looking for and went quiet for a handful of minutes, Zoro reading over his shoulder. 

Sanji continued to lie there limply on his face in a fit of self-consciousness, shame that he'd actually shown people the one item in his collection that he'd sworn never to show anyone. 

Usopp shifted his hips, glanced up at Sanji with a half embarrassed grin on his face. “This is spicy.”

Sanji groaned weakly. “I know.”

Zoro had his lower lip between his teeth, eyes intent on the page. When Usopp wasn't reading fast enough he tried to pry up the page to read ahead. “That – that thing with the tongue! That's what you did to my ass!”

Sanji groaned, now his mind had that to obsess over. “Do you understand the dilemma now.”

“Deliemma? Sanji, I'm about ready to present my ass to this pirate lord guy right along side you! Holy shit.” Usopp had to hand the book over, face dark. He giggled hysterically. “I see the problem.”

“Who wrote that!” Zoro's eyes were bright, ideas forming in his head. “Can we just act it out? I would die a happy man if you fucked me like that. Either of you!”

Usopp leaned back against him with a grin. “No, the three of us can take turns being Maeva and all of us get our brains fucked out.”

“Now that sounds like a plan.”

Sanji whined. “You two are no help at all.”

*-*-*

Luffy isn't in his bunk when they get up the next morning. He's seated at the galley table with bits of cotton stuffed in his ears. 

Sanji opens the kitchen door to begin breakfast preparations and there, in the dark, looms their captain. 

It isn't often they see him angry, but this time, he is. 

Truly, and deeply... angry.  

Luffy says nothing. Slurps cold tea loudly, and glares as Usopp and Zoro follow Sanji into the room, guilty looks on all their faces. 

There is no scolding from Luffy. Just a cold silence and a deep, wrathful scowl. 

Nami, when she comes down from the crow's nest walks into a quiet galley. She knows something's happened, she'd heard faint noises from below deck the night before but hadn't imagined it would cause this kind of reaction. 

She'd seen Luffy go up to the galley before dawn but she hadn't realized how viscerally furious he was. She'd thought he was just going to raid the pantry and fall asleep under the table again.

She stopped in the doorway, hands held close to her body because she wasn't entirely sure she wouldn't need to break up a fight. “What happened?”

Zoro groaned guiltily and tried to hide his face. Sanji continued preparing breakfast without acknowledging her question. Usopp shrugged innocently, but his eyes were smug.

But, Luffy continued to say nothing. Finished his cold tea, then stomped out of the room. Launched himself into the crow's nest with the blankets Nami had used and created a bed for himself up there. 

Nami watched him go, then turned to the other boys still lingering around the breakfast table. “Oooh, you guys done fucked up.” She took a sip of her coffee; “What did you do to him?”

Sanji remained silent. Usopp said nothing, and Zoro rolled his eyes. “We were a little louder than usual.” 

“To be fair, you were loud.” Sanji supplied, motioning with a spatula. 

Zoro hummed, not daring to deny it. “Usopp throws good dick, what am I supposed to do?”

“Bite a pillow?” Nami supplied. “Or, I don't know, you've got two boyfriends, and two holes. Pick one!”

“He was biting a pillow.” Usopp muttered into his mug.

Nami tilted her head back with a groan. “Look. Maybe we just need to admit defeat, and buy Luffy some earplugs.” 

“Either that or ask him to join.” Sanji yawned into his elbow. 

Nami blinked in surprise. “Are you actually trying to fuck your way through the whole crew, Usopp?”

Usopp looked around, frightened; “Not really. No.” 

Sanji shook his head; “I mean, he looked really lonely.”

Nami hesitated. “When did you talk to him? He seemed fine earlier.” 

“Last night. I went in to wash the smell of fish off me from making dinner, and he was in the tub.”

She shook her head; “Yeah, don't interrupt his tub time. Trust me, the things he can do with his penis are... it's weird.” She made a face. 

“That's exactly it though.” Sanji didn't turn, just kept his eyes on the pancakes. “He can't do things the way we can. But, that doesn't mean he doesn't have desires. Or want intimate company.” 

They were all quiet for a few breaths, just the sound of the snow blowing outside, the hiss of Sanji turning up the burners and the the radiators at the edges of the room. 

“What are you suggesting?” Nami yawned and leaned back in her seat. “That we get him laid?”

Sanji glanced over his shoulder with an exagerated shrug. 

Zoro stirred his tea. “I don't want to put him in a situation he isn't okay with.” 

“Regardless, we should talk to him first,” Usopp suggested, nestling down into the fluff of his coat. “Find out what he thinks, and wants. Maybe earplugs will be good enough. Maybe we need to figure out what he likes and help him find someone.”

“I mean, what is he even? Gay? Straight? Bi?” Nami looked between her crewmates.

“He told me he likes people. So... functionally bi? Pansexual?” Sanji shrugged.

“Look, none of this is going to matter if he doesn't want it, or can't do it!” Zoro rubbed his brow tiredly. 

Usopp nodded. “Maybe we need to talk to him about things he can try. Like... Buy him a vibrator or a butt plug or something.” He clicked his fingers and pointed at Zoro; “You said something about cock rings helping a guy keep it up! Maybe something like that could help him!”

Zoro finished his tea and went back for more. “Maybe we need to find some other devil fruit users first and see if its a common thing or not.”

“He has a point!” Nami said. “I can help with toys and stuff, but if its something that just happens to devil fruit users, there isn't much we can do. If it's just a Luffy thing, then we can worry about other stuff.” 

Sanji counted how many pancakes he'd finished, and turned to place the platter on the table. “Someone at least call him down for food. I feel guilty that he hasn't eaten.” 

Nami rolled her eyes. “One of you do it. You're the ones he's mad at.” 

Sanji turned back to the stove, and Usopp started layering pancakes on his plate. 

“Well don't everyone volunteer at once.” Zoro sighed and pushed to his feet. He paused at Usopp’s side and gripped his chin, forced the sniper to look at him. “You're the reason I was so loud by the way. So, technically this is your fault.”

“Yeah, but you're the first mate. Conferring with the captain on private matters is part of your job. So…” He grinned a little too widely. 

Zoro groaned and rolled his eyes. “If he kills me I'm coming back to haunt you all.” He swung his coat on and stepped outside, shoulders hunched against the wind. 

The ship was rocking gently and the deck was slippery. Zoro foresaw another day of keeping it clear and Sanji making salt to melt the ice on the stairs. He made it down to the main deck and paused beside the makeshift greenhouse tent they'd constructed in the triangular shelter of the stairs to protect Nami's tangerines and Sanji's herb boxes. One of the ties on the topmost tarp had come undone and he took a moment to refasten it before turning his eyes up to the crows nest. 

“Hey, Luffy!”

The captain peeked slowly over the edge of the nest, scowling.

Zoro motioned to his ear.

Luffy stared at him, then plucked the fluff from one ear and dangled his mittened hands over the edge, indicating he was listening. 

“Why don't you come down from there? The cook made pancakes.”

Luffy shrank back a little more, face crinkled in disgust. 

“Come on, stop pouting. I know you're hungry.” 

He rolled his lips back from his teeth and hissed.

Disturbed, Zoro blinked up at him; “Are you learning bad habits from the cat now?”

Luffy glanced sideways.

Zoro frowned. “Come on. Please come down?”

No reply.

He tried to warm his hands; “Would it make you feel better if I said you can flip me off?”

Both mittened hands rose, the red knit distorted by his lifted fingers. He snarled and pulled them off with his teeth, left them dangling from the clips on his sleeves and stretched his arms a little bit to display his double birds. 

“Great. Do you feel better now?”

“A little.” He shrank down into the nest some more. Just eyes and a wrinkled forehead under his hat. 

“I'm sorry I was loud.” The wind gave a sharp gust and pushed Zoro's hood back. He pulled it forward again and squinted up at Luffy. “Will you come down and get some food now?”

“Depends...”

“On what?”

“Usopp and Sanji have to apologize too. Usopp especially... I don't want to think about any of you sucking or eating anybody. It's kind of weird, and he kept saying stuff... and it-- it was weird. And...” There was color in his face that had nothing to do with the cold. “It was really weird and you guys left me alone.” 

Zoro stared. “What?”

Luffy shrank even more, eyes wide and watery. “I didn't want to disturb you. So, I pretended to be asleep.”

Zoro glanced back at the galley door, then up at Luffy's pink cheeks. Muttered; “Dammit.” And went for the shroud. Climbing the half frozen ropes with bare hands to huddle in the nest with his captain under the oil cloth. 

Luffy was hunched in on himself amid the spare wool blankets with his knees drawn up, shivering. 

Zoro sat across from him and pulled the oil cloth over their heads, protecting them from the wind and snow. “Okay, I guess we're really doing this... Two rules. One-- nobody knows about what is asked, said, or explained in this conversation. Got it?”

Luffy nodded and snuffed back tears. “Okay.”

“Rule two-- In this moment, for the duration of this conversation. You can't be the captain, and I can't be the first mate... We're just friends, and we're being honest.”

Luffy hesitated, took a deep breath, and nodded. 

“Okay,” Zoro's stomach twisted with nerves. “Are you jealous of Usopp, the cook, and me?”

Luffy was quiet, shoulders slumped. “It's not just you.” His voice was so hushed he could barely be heard over the wind. “Even Nami... You-- you guys can all go make yourselves feel good whenever you want. I-I'm just stuck like this! It doesn't work. Nobody takes me seriously, and I don't wanna be seen as a child my whole damned life!”

Zoro sat quietly, listening. Taking it all in. 

“I know I act silly. Its fun! Being an adult-- There's all these rules and stuff that just make people miserable because they decide they're too old to do the things they enjoy! They have to have grown up hobbies, grown up fun! Go out drinking , or having sex everywhere! And they look at you funny if you don't do those things and you collect cool bugs, or like comic books! Or candy! Or playing around!” He wiped tears from his eyes. “There's nothing wrong with any of it! I like bugs! I like comic books! I like playing around and being silly because the world is depressing and heartbreaking and I refuse to let it make me miserable too! But it's hard!” His voice shook and he sniffled, swatted at the moisture on his cheeks in frustration, “It's hard when you guys are making one another feel good like that, and you're so loud about it. It just makes me realize even more that I can't have that even if I wanted it! And I do! I want it too, but it doesn't matter because I can't! And you guys said you'd explain things, but you didn't! You act like I'm too innocent to think about stuff like that! Or you make me feel bad about the fact my dick doesn't work right! And I know you're not doing it on purpose! You don't even realize you're doing it! But you didn't even tell me that things can feel really good in other places! I didn't know and when it worked I came to find you and you were all fucking around with Usopp and I had to sit there hearing it and--”

Zoro blinked. “What?”

Luffy went still, cheeks red, arms tightening around himself. 

“Luffy-- Did... did you--” He shuffled forward carefully in the small space. “Did you--” He tilted his chin down and made a rolling motion with his left hand. 

Luffy shrank in on himself a little more. Wiped the tears and snot on his sleeve. “It-- it was weird... but it felt good. I guess.”

Zoro sat back and took a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

Luffy nodded. “It was just a lot of things happening at once, and it was really sudden so it kind of startled me and there wasn't anyone to talk to, so I don't know if I did it right. And I was too embarrassed to go to Nami.”

“You wanna tell me about it?”

He hesitated, swallowed a growing tightness in his throat. “I’d heard Usopp mention butt stuff a couple times, so I thought maybe if my penis isn't going to work right, my butt would, and... I guess it did.”

“Did you like it?”

“Kind of... But-- Is it supposed to do that? All--” He flexed his hands open and closed and gave a shiver. “Because the first part was nice... But when I had to slingshot from the bath to the toilet? That wasn't fun.”

Zoro chuckled softly; “You did it in the bath? You probably got water up there and accidentally gave yourself an enema.” 

“So the-- violent pooping isn't part of it?”

“No.” Zoro felt himself grin. “That wasn't the part you liked, was it?”

“No. Not at all.”

Zoro chuckled.

Luffy stared at him relieved, the wind blowing the oil cloth around above their heads. “Zoro?”

“Yeah?”

His voice was quiet, with a soft tinge of uncertainty and excitement. “I had an orgasm in the bath last night.” 

“It good?”

“Except for the pooping part.” Luffy chuckled, rubbed his eyes dry on his sleeve, shuffled closer like he was sharing a secret. “That wasn't fun.”

“Yeah, surprise enemas suck.”

Luffy scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Understatement.”

“Luff?”

He tilted his head up, seeming more steady and like himself. 

“I'm happy for you. You can tell the others if you want. They, uh-- they can probably give you some pointers and advice about stuff. Or I can if you want, whenever you're ready.”

He nodded, plucked the remaining cotton fluff from his other ear. “Maybe,  it just feels weird to talk about it. I don't know what's okay to say and what's not. Nobody's ever talked about it with me before. Not really. I mean, Dedan told me how sex is supposed to work but she was really angry the whole time, so I tuned her out and all I really remember is putting condoms on the banana… I couldn't eat bananas for a month after that.”

Zoro nodded. “I may have peeped at guys in a bathhouse once or twice, and there was some manga this girl gave me for getting her cat out of a tree. ”

Luffy grinned at his knees. “My brother told me about girls once. But it wasn't much. Just this trick with his hand… He didn't want Dedan to know he was having sex.”

“There are books and stuff that can explain it, and there's also porn, but I understand if that's a little much.”

“Its easier like this. Just talking. Feels more human instead of medical. And those magazines like Sanji's make me nervous. It feels gross, like I'm peeping at strangers.”

“I get that.”

“I think I just prefer talking. At least then I know it’s okay.”

 Zoro sighed. “I'm sorry we've been kind of… occupied.”

Luffy took a slow deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “I don't want to bother you guys, it just feels like that's all you do anymore.”

“I'll-- we'll do better from here on out.”

He nodded. 

“And I'll try not to be so loud next time, okay?”

Luffy looked at him earnestly. “You should really look into a better gag.”

“Yeah, I'm starting to think you're right.” He chuckled and dried his own face. 

“I really don't care that you guys are doing stuff, but please don't make me listen to it again. Last night was weird.”

“We can get some earplugs for you, like actual earplugs, not pillow stuffing.”

“That would be great.” Luffy sagged bodily. “I had nightmares about people trying to cook and eat my ass like a ham.”

Zoro dissolved into giggles. “The– uh– the eating stuff? That's just a way of saying oral sex, he wasn't actually eating anybody.”

Luffy wrinkled his nose. “I kind of guessed that. But– you do know what comes out of butts, right? I've eaten some gross stuff, but I draw the line at that!”

“It's fine if you wash really well and use protection. But I get it.” Zoro laughed quietly and rubbed his nose. 

“Zoro?”

He glanced up grinning, gave a grunt to let Luffy know he was listening. 

“Is it really so much better with someone else? I just want to understand why you do it.”

“It– It can be, if thats something you like. But, you know, if you don't want anyone else touching you, or you just don't want to feel like that again you don't have to.”

“I…” He swayed a little to and fro, not able to meet Zoro's eyes. “I didn't mind it… It did feel good. It was just the last part– If that isn't part of it, then I might be okay doing it again.”

“Just making yourself feel good is fine too. You don't have to involve anybody else if you don't want to, or if it doesn't feel right.”

Luffy rubbed his ankles thoughtfully; “I’ll have to think about it. Maybe some day. Once I get the hang of things by myself.”

“Okay. Whatever you choose.”

“Zoro?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. For coming after me. And for listening... I'm sorry I hissed at you.”

“It's okay. Thanks for… for trusting me enough to tell me.” 

Luffy leaned into his chest, rubbery arms wrapped tightly around him. He took a deep breath and patted his back. “Good talk. Can we go eat now? I'm starving.” 

Zoro chuckled and patted him in return; “Yeah. Let's go.”

*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*

Luffy ate quickly, but quietly. Listened to the conversation around him. Nami talking about the storm, and their heading. How with the intensity of the wind, they might get to Loguetown a day ahead of schedule. 

“If we get there early, I'd suggest we continue ahead with the extra day. I don't know what this storm will do when it hits the calm belt, or the Grand Line. It could cause some really dangerous weather in the area. We'd be wise to go ahead and try to leave it behind.”

“That makes sense.” Luffy nodded, sipped his tea, reached down to give Sandwich some scratches behind his ears where he was lounging across the boy's lap. “Can we have another sleepover, before we get to Loguetown? It's kind of nice to just hang out and play games.”

“We don't have to have a sleepover to do that you know.” Nami grinned and nudged his foot under the table with her own; “We can just hang out and play games when we're not busy.”

“I know, its just easier to share secrets and stuff when its dark. I don't feel like the world can hear me then.” Luffy played with the zipper on his coat. 

Nami rolled her eyes fondly. “Since when do you have secrets?”

Luffy shook his head. “I've always had secrets. We all do. But, isn't it weird to talk about stuff in the middle of the day?”

“What kind of stuff?” Usopp said around a bite of pancake. 

Luffy fidgeted more with his zipper. “Sex stuff.”

Nami glanced at Zoro in concern, then back to Luffy. “No, no its not weird. There's just a time and place for talking about that. Like, you don't want to talk about it when we're shopping or fighting, or working. But as long as everyone is okay with it, down time is fine… Just, maybe not during a meal if its particularly graphic.”

“Okay.” Luffy nodded, but his expression was still troubled. 

“Did you have a question or something?” She leaned a little closer to him. “I don't think anyone would mind if you want to talk about it now.”

She glanced at the others and when nobody protested she turned back to Luffy with a smile.

He nodded to himself. “I'm not sure how to ask.”

“Is it about yourself or another person?”

“Both?” He chewed his lip, but seemed to find the courage to speak. “I think I need some advice.”

Nami propped her jaw on her fist. “Okay, we'll do our best to help. What's up.”

Luffy twisted his fingers together like pretzles.  “This isn't easy for me. I'm not sure what's okay to talk about and what isn't, I know this kind of stuff is supposed to be secret, so I-I try to keep my stuff private, and I appreciate that you guys try, even if you're extremely loud sometimes.”

“Sorry.” Zoro muttered.

“But, I've tried some things, and some things have happened, and I don't really know what to do with it.”

“What happened?” Nami shifted closer, hunching inward as if by making herself smaller she could more easily root out the secrets.

“Things--” Luffy's eyebrows lifted and he met her eyes, face pinched as he spoke, trying to convey the delicacy of the situation. “Happened.”

Nami blinked at him obliviously.

“My... with my body... things happened.”

She blinked, then gave her head a little shake; “Luffy... did-- did you make yourself come?”

He stared at her nervously for three whole seconds, then his eyes shifted to the side and a tiny grin pulled color into his cheeks.

Usopp covered his mouth and gave a surprised bark of laughter, he pounded the tabletop with his fist. “He did!”

“Can you keep it down?” Luffy was still grinning, but he batted at Usopp’s and Nami's grabbing excited hands.

“Who's gonna hear! We're in the middle of the ocean!” Sanji shuffled his chair closer, grinning. 

“I don't know... the news coos? Fishmen?”

“Oh my god! Are-- are you shy?” Nami turned to stare at Zoro, then her shoulders drooped voice pulled high as she cooed and turned back to Luffy, tears in her eyes; “Aw! He's shy!”

Sandwich scurried out of the way as Nami collapsed against Luffy, practically pulling him into her lap.

“You're choking me!” Luffy didn't struggle as hard as he could have. 

“You're so adorable and shy!” She rubbed her face in his hair. “And you smell clean!” Then she froze, pulled back and spoke in a threatening growl; “Did you wash yourself after? Did you wash the tub after? You-- you didn't just soak in your own fluids in that tub and then leave it to dry, did you?”

“No?”

“It's been washed!” Sanji called. “I cleaned the bathroom last night once we were done.”

Nami pushed him away, whimpering. “Where did my little boy go? My innocent, sweet little boy who didn't soak in his own spunk in the tub.” She feigned a gag. “He's a nasty teenager now. Ugh. Someone, please, make him go bathe!” 

“We're the same age.” Luffy sneered. “And I don't see you taking a bath after every time you play with yourself.”

It was an unspoken rule, that Nami could complain about the boys hygiene all she wanted. It was her right. They could not, however, point out that sometimes she wore the same shirt, or shorts more than a few too many times before she washed them because she hated doing laundry by hand. Or that, sometimes, she spritzed her underarms with perfume when she was out of antiperspirant... Or, that she belched, and farted, and left her sheets on her bed a little too long. If they tried to point out anything that called into question her unwavering feminine perfection, she would often respond with violence or, once while drunk and weilding a club; ' I'm not belligerent you cow! I'm a fucking lady!'

Luffy's words rang around the room like a subconscious echo.

Sanji flinched, teeth bared.

Usopp's mouth dropped open, fork clattering on his plate. “Oh, shit he did it!”

Zoro rocked back in his seat, hands in his hair, mouth open in shock. 

Nami glared, her mouth opened, halfway to a retort, but the words died in her throat. Instead there seemed to be a weird growing energy in the air, like the tension before a storm. 

Usopp made a low sound like wind past a gap in the door. “Ooooh, I didn't think he had it in him.” He wheezed again and made slicing motions at his throat, glaring at Luffy pleadingly; “Oh, god, this is gonna be bad!”

“Well, it's true!” Luffy straightened his spine, but the confidence in his face was rapidly fading. “You-- you can be just as gross and smelly as we can. Right guys? Guys?”

Nami lunged at him, caught a handful of hair, and a handful of his face, snarling. They rolled across the floor like fighting cats.

Sandwich yowled and tried to climb the walls in terror. Bouncing this way and that to avoid the scuffle, he scattered Luffy's utensils and knocked over his mug, skittered across the table and launched himself ontop of the refrigerator where he cowered growling ‘nononononono’ in fear. 

Luffy shrieked; “I'm sorry!” But, Nami already had him in a headlock, pulling and pressing down with her elbow and shoulder until his scalp stretched and she had him folded in half beneath her, his lower stomach crushed into his face, arms and legs flailing. 

“I'm not dirty!” She snarled. “I bathe! Every! Day! You guys are the ones who don't wash your hands after you have your pissing contests off the stern! As far as I know Sanji's the only one who does! You scratch your butts, and don't wash your hands! You scratch your balls, and don't wash your hands! You get cum on your fingers! You constantly forget to put toilet paper, or soap in the bathroom! And if I didn't remind you to, you wouldn't brush your teeth at all!”

“ Zoro, help me!” Luffy gagged, choked by his own weight and Nami's squeezing bicep.

Zoro was watching with a grimace on his face, he took a careful drink of his tea. “No way in hell! You got yourself into this one!”

Usopp still looked vaguely terrified, and Sanji had his head cocked to the side, eyes tracing the shapes Nami bent their captain into. “You know, I think Luffy could eat his own ass if he tried.”

Zoro huffed, amused and tilted his head in the opposite direction. “You know, I think you're right.”

“Nami! Nami! I pr-- I promise I'll bathe every day for a month! Twice a day! Just please, let me go! I'm not supposed to bend that way! I give up! I'm sorry! I give!”

“If you ever-- EVER! Leave the bathroom sticky or smelly, or gross again. I will tie you into such a knot they will have to use scissors to get you untangled again, do you understand!”

He whimpered, nodded, “I understand.”

She stood, leaving him twisted in a heap on the floor, took a deep breath, and shuffled back to her spot at the table. She calmly righted her chair and sat back down as if nothing had happened. “Now... What questions did you have?”

Luffy looked up at her distrustfully as he slowly untangled himself. Thenhe sat there pouting and rubbing his scalp. “I don't know if I wanna talk to you anymore after that. You're kind of mean.”

“Its a right of passage,” Nami rolled her eyes and gave him a lingering look of disgust. “Welcome to the horny masses.” She reachrd for the teapot and her cup that Sandwich had knocked over. “But, i mean it! You leave the bathroom gross, or aoak in your own fluids again without washing off I'm gonna–”

“Okay! I get it!” Luffy pushed slowly to his feet and shuffled back towards the table, pausing long enough to set his chair back up and take a seat closer to Zoro. “I'll clean up after myself from now on.”

Usopp looked between the navigator and captain uneasily. “So, what now?”

“Well, I talked some with Zoro already,” Luffy mumbled. “He said you guys could give me some advice– I juat didn't know advice came with fists and haie pulling–”

“Just be clean about it! I don't want to find smears of cum on the toilet or in the bath! I have to use those things too, and I don't want to accidentally get pregnant because some asshole didn't clean the tub after he was finished!”

“I don't think thats how you get pregnant.” Usopp muttered into his mug. “I think you have to like… Put it in there… Unless you're doing stuff like that in the tub too.”

“Who doesn't masturbate in the bath from time to time.” Sanji said under his breath. “Its one of the only times we have actual fucking privacy!”

Usopp shrugged in silent agreement.

Nami's face went red and she bowed forward with a hand on her brow.

“Oh my God! Is everyone masturbating in the bath?!” Zoro's face twisted in disgust. “We've shared fucking bath water!”

Usopp almost spat tea out his nose, turned his head and began coughing violently. 

“Who shares fucking bath water!” Nami shrieked. 

Usopp and Luffy's hands lifted. After a moment of hesitation Zoro's went up as well. 

Nami pushed back from the table and went for the alcohol cabinet. While her back was turned Usopp leaned over and grabbed Sanji’s wrist and forced him to lift a hand as well. 

Sanji smacked him and scooted away with a tgreatening glare. Feigning innocence. 

Nami returned to the table with a bottle of tequila and sloshed some into the mug with her tea. “No more sharing bath water. Understand me? I will murder you if I find out you have been sharing bath water.”

Usopp motioned between himself and Zoro. “What about sharing baths, is that okay? Because sometimes–”

Nami leveled a glare at Usopp threateningly. “Boyfriends can share baths, as long as no funny business goes on.”

“Define funny business.” Luffy said, reaching toward the tequila.

Nami smacked his hand and moved the bottle out of his reach. “No sex or masturbation in the bathroom unless you clean it afterward, okay!”

“Well, what's better? Doing it in the bathroom or on your blankets?” Luffy wrinkled his nose. “Because doing it in bed and then sleeping on it seems more gross.”

Nami growled in her throat. “New orders… Today, everyone washes their bedding!”

*-*-*

Laundry day was not usually a ship wide affair. The laundry line was only so big after all, and for one person it was enough. For five, it was sadly lacking. 

Taking turns scrubbing at the big tub on deck was a trial. Nami wanted to go first, but she had more accumulated laundry than Usopp and Sanji, and they had more than Zoro, who was perhaps the best at keeping a schedule for wash days. And Luffy didn't own very much clothing to begin with, but all of it was dirty save what he was wearing. 

Add to all of this the chill, and there wasn't enough room, or patience for the event to go smoothly. 

Hanging things out on deck left you with frozen hands and frozen laundry.

Hanging them in the galley to dry meant there wasn't enough room for Sanji to keep up with his chores, and the floor got all wet and slippery. 

The storage room wasn't any better of an idea. 

Then Usopp found it.

The storage room at the bow of the ship where the forward canon was. Where the boiler and water tank was. 

It wasn't a particularly large room, not compared to Luffy's room. And there were bins built to either side along the hull walls where extra rope, gun powder, and canon balls were stored. 

The boiler sat squat and round in a lower portion of the room in the center, hissed and ticked and provided the water that circulated through the radiators and kept the whole ship warm. 

They didn't use this storage room for much but necessitates for operating the boiler, or forward canon, or rope. But Usopp figured it could be used as a makeshift laundry room. There were large eye hooks in the ceiling anyway for hanging things so stringing some of their extra rope up through them to hang laundry on seemed like a good idea. 

“Hey, Luffy, come give me a hand with this!”

But, Luffy didn't come when he called. 

Usopp called again, louder. “Luffy!”

No answer. 

Usopp turned, noticed the door had swung mostly shut because of the wind and shook his head in irritation. He stomped toward it. 

Luffy was whimpering and fussing on the deck with his bed sheets. The bite of the wind and chill freezing his fingertips as he tried to unfold his bedding over one of the drying lines on the port side of the ship. 

Usopp shook his head. “Luffy! Come on! Listen when I yell! What if it had been an emergency!”

Luffy turned to him pouting and shaking out his fingers before he tucked them back into his coat sleeves and then under his arms. “What are you talking about, you didn't yell.”

Usopp bared his teeth. “I did! Twice! Just, come on, hang it up in here, its warm and theres more room!”

Luffy bent and grabbed at hia laundry basket, dragged it along behind himself and into the room. “It is warmer in here.” He blew on his fingers, hissing and then stuck them in his mouth, trying to chase away the chilled brittleness in his rubbery skin.

“Yeah, the boiler keeps it warmer. Help me with this rope!” He chose a length and secured the leading end to an eye hook beside the door. 

It took a few minutes to get it fed through and tensioned right, soon they were up. They woeked together, stretching Luffy's blankets over and then warming their hands near the boiler while they rested. 

“Its really quiet in here.” Luffy noted, glanced around curiously. 

Usopp hummed, “Yeah, the walls are reinforced, because of the cannon.” He chuckled. “Thats probably why you didn't hear me when I–”

And his voice died in his throat. Eyes widening in surprise. 

“What is it?” Luffy said, slipped a finger into his nose. 

“Just– just stay right there a second.” Usopp lunged to his feet and scrambled out of the room slamming the door behind him. 

Luffy sat quietly beside the boiler for a few moments, then the door flew open and Usopp lunged in, Nami chasing him, screaming.

“I don't care what you're doing! You don't just SCREAM like that for no reason!”

Zoro appeared on deck behind them half a breath later with his white sword half drawn. Shirt and pants wet with laundry water. 

Usopp batted Nami away and bent forward to meet Luffy's eyes. “Did you hear it!”

“Hear what?” 

Usopp stood, both fists in the air, laughing, and ran at Zoro. 

“What's all the yelling about!” Zoro looked around, visibly upset, Usopp dangling from his neck. “Did you burn yourself on the boiler or something?”

“You're not gonna believe it!” Usopp pulled him forward by the hand, bypassing Nami who was glaring at them both and muttering about idiot boys. 

Luffy glanced at Zoro nervously when Usopp pulled him into the room. “What's going on?”

“Just trust me!” Usopp was still grinning, “Go stand outside and tell me if you hear anything.”

“But, it's cold!”

Usopp rolled his eyes and grabbed Luffy by the sleeve, pulling insistently. “TRUST ME!” 

Luffy pouted, but stumbled out, atood by Nami and a rather perturbed looking Sanji with an apron on. 

“What the hell are they doing?” Nami muttered when Usopp slammed the door. 

“I don't know, but they better not be doing sex stuff on my laundry!” Luffy hunched down into his coat. 

Seconds ticked by. 

Sanji scratched his throat tiredly.

Then the door popped open a crack and Usopp stuck his head out with a grin. “Did you hear it?”

“Hear what!” Luffy shouted. “You better not have got anything funny on my blankets! I just washed them!”

Zoro stepped out, face lightly flushed. “You– you didn't hear that?”

“Hear WHAT!” Nami stamped her foot. 

Sanji's eyes widened and he darted forward, yanking his apron off over his head and shoving it into Luffy's arms. He slipped into the storage room, slammed the door and all was quiet for a heartbeat. 

Then, Nami heard it. Softly, barely audible over the sound of the water. 

Shouting. 

The door opened again and all three boys came out grinning, Sanji with his hands in his hair. 

“I didn't think! Of course it's insulated! The walls are triple thick because of the canon!”

“I still don't understand what the hell that was all about.” Zoro looked around uncertainly. 

“The walls are super thick!” Usopp grinned. “It's almost perfectly sound proof!”

“So?” Zoro muttered, slotted his white sword through his haramaki. 

It took five full seconda for him to realize. 

“Holy shit, it's soundproof!” Zoro turned and darted back into the storage room. He paused at the door, eyes wild and turned to Luffy. “Go down to your room and see if you can hear me!”

“What?” Luffy's nose wrinkled.

“Just do it!”

Realization slowly seeped into Nami's face and she worked her jaw side to side in consideration. “Not a bad idea.”

Luffy dropped through the hatch and shut it behind himself. 

Zoro slammed the door.

Yes, Nami could hear a vague noise, but nothing that would interrupt her sleep. Nothing that would disturb Luffy, as long as it was equally quiet below deck. 

Zoro came out of the storage room at a run, skidded on the deck and dropped to his hands and knees by the deck hatch, yanked it up and hung himself upside down through it with his legs. “Could you hear me!”

Luffy was lying on the floor on his belly teasing Sandwich with one of his toys. “I heard you yelling something, but I don't know what it was. It was really quiet.”

“Luffy!” Zoro grinned broadly. 

The boy turned his head around a little too far. “What?”

“No more loud sex yelling.”

Luffy squinted, as if contemplating this took all his strength, then it hit him and his eyes widened, mouth dropping open. 

“Wanna help me move some futon?”

“Hell yes!” Luffy lunged to his feet. “No more pillow fluff stuck in my ears either!” He mimed a triumphant ‘Yes!’ And punched the air at his waist. 

Nami caught Usopp by the sleeve as he and Sanji moved toward the deck hatch and pulled him to a stop. “You know this means I get access too, right?”

Usopp looked her up and down warily. “Uh, I mean, If you're okay with me doing that to you, I guess I–”

“To the room, idiot!” She gave him a playful shove. “When I wanna have sex, I get to use the Romance Room too, got it? You three can't hog it all for yourselves!”

“Oh, okay! Yeah… You had me scared there for a minute.” He held out his hand, to shake on the deal. “We'll have to come up with rules and stuff, but sure!”

Nami eyed his hand distrustfully. 

He pulled his hand back with a wince. “Two pumps of soap, got it.”

*-*-*

*-*-*

*-*-*

Chapter Text

*-*-*

Things had always been predictable before. Once Sanji was horny enough to actually do something about it, the frustration went away. Masturbating took away that need for touch, and release effectively, so he hadn't been troubled by his desire to wait. 

He hadn't expected for things to get worse after after The Incident. He hadn't expected his resolve to crumble so easily. It was as if the moment he'd let himself step into Usopp's room, it was all he'd been able to think about. 

He found himself… Imagining things while he was working. Daydreaming about Usopp's fingers and Zoro's growling encouragement. How good it had felt to be touched, to be watched. 

It was a little unsettling, suddenly not knowing what his body desired, or what would remind him of it.

Would it be seeing Zoro's bandana in the laundry basket? The rope in his hands as he helped to trim the sails? The scent and taste of mango and pineapple? A cucumber he was slicing for Nami's salad? 

It had been two days and suddenly sex had become the only thing he could focus on. The memory of and desire for calloused fingers on all his most sensitive places. 

He wanted more. 

He wanted touch that lingered, lips that left bruises on his skin. Fingerprints on his hips and throat and ribs. An itchy little rash on his neck from the prickles on Zoro's and Usopp’s chins.

He wanted what Usopp had done to Zoro… What Zoro had done to Usopp. All of it, all at once, right now, here across the table. 

He excused himself from lunch early to force himself to think about something else. Hands working in hot soapy water as a distraction from the need, but it never went away. The thoughts lingered, built like pressure in his core. 

He wanted to be surprised, overwhelmed by them. Overpowered and forced to feel everything. He wanted to be so overcome with lust and love that he couldn't breathe without pleasure. 

It was a problem to say the least. 

He couldn't look at himself in the bathroom mirror, or in the reflection of a kettle bottom without blushing and thinking in an accusing tone: ‘You had a dick in your mouth. And you liked it!’

It was almost as if it were written across his face for everyone to see. 

Zoro smirked at him, and every time he possibly could, teased the lip of a beer or sake bottle while making eye contact. A slow, sensual swirl at the rim before dipping inward with a lewd curl of his tongue. 

And every time it happened, Sanji felt his skin tingle. Felt like his hair stood on end and his toes curled in his shoes. 

He wanted to pummel the damned swordsman. Wanted to pin him down, tangle his fingers in that messy green hair, and fuck his stupid smirking mouth. 

Sanji's face felt like he was sunburned. No longer a blush, but a permanent red swathe from ear to ear and down his neck. 

Zoro just continued to smirk and sip suggestively at his drink. Lingering at the table just to watch him squirm. 

Usopp was no better. 

He was oh so helpful. Dried dishes, smiled sweetly and innocently, and touched Sanji's wrist so gently the lingering pressure felt like fire. Leaned close over his shoulder when nobody was looking and hissed that his freckles looked gorgeous against his blushing cheeks, and he wasn't talking about his face. 

Sanji wanted them so much it physically hurt. 

He was going insane with it. 

They knew he'd liked it. He knew they knew. He wanted more, and they Knew! 

And, technically, there was nothing stopping him from having it! From letting himself feel wanted. To hold onto them with all his limbs and let go of the control. Let go of the unrealistic dreams he'd had since he was a kid. They'd even talked about it, after he had shared his porn stash. He'd laid there on Usopp's futon with his head pillowed on the sniper’s lap and Zoro massaging his legs, pressing expertly into all his pressure points until he was a limp gooey mess. 

He'd told them how it had all played out in his fantasies, and Usopp had come up with scenarios to match then explained the way he understood more elaborate scenes go. That intense fantasy play allowed you to actually have those things without the risk of being injured. He could have his beautiful ‘wedding night’, or be whisked away to a secluded cabin and ravished. But he didn't know if he had the courage to go through with it. 

Part of him had always known his fantasies were unrealistic, that they would never actually happen, and there was safety in that. Realizing that they could happen, could be wonderful and real, rattled him to the core. Shook loose urges that were almost feral. 

He'd spent more than half his life certain that things would go a very specific way, that HE would go a specific way. But reality was different. Visceral. Overwhelming. He hadn't expected that his true feelings on it all would be so… Messy.

“Saaaaanji, can you hear me?” Luffy tapped him on the head with his knuckles. “Are you okay?”

Sanji shook himsef back to reality, bent over a notebook on the countertop making a list of supplies they would need when they reached Loguetown. “Sorry, what is it?”

“Usopp wants to know if you want oysters. There's a reef ahead. He says he can collect some if we drop anchor for a little bit before the tide comes back in. Nami said I had to ask you.”

Oysters.

He had a few lemons, and ice… No, steamed, definitely steamed. Pasta with a cream sauce. Maybe he could try Odette’s garlic knots, and chopped salad with the rest of the butter lettuce and candied walnuts… frozen lemon custard for desert. Zoro liked lemon custard, it was just tart enough that he didn't complain about the sweetness.

And oysters were an aphrodisiac–

He bit his tongue. 

When he didn't speak for a handful of seconds, Luffy waved a hand in his face. “Helloooo?” He scowled. “Are you okay? Are you sick? You're really red.” He put one hand to Sanji's brow and the other on his own, then switched them. 

Sanji batted him away and rubbed his face with both hands. “I'm fine! Oysters sound good! I can prep them for tonight.”

Luffy nodded but there was still a pinch of concern between his brows. “If you say so.” And he left, calling to Nami that the oysters would be appreciated. 

Sanji finished his list and at the sound of the anchor splashing into the water he straightened. Popped his back with a stretch, glanced once more around the kitchen and made his way out onto the deck. 

Zoro had already brought the dinghy down from the stern and was hitching it to be lowered into the water. 

Usopp was looking serious, he'd dawned a pair of oversized rubber boots and had a large bucket dangling in his fist. He was pointing out the oyster bed to Luffy, explaining that the captain couldn't come help because his feet would be cut to ribbons on the sharp shells even through his tennis shoes. 

Luffy looked disappointed but understanding, “Just be sure to get the big ones! They taste the best! They're not as slimy as the little ones.”

“They're not slimy unless you eat the bad ones.” Usopp swung over the railing and descended to the dinghy. 

“Oh, well that explains a lot.” Luffy wrinkled his nose at the memory. 

Sanji leaned a hip on the railing and lit a cigarette to occupy himself. Eyes wandering over the sea, the evident coastline in the distance, the sniper in the little boat. 

What Usopp lacked in defined bulging muscle, he made up for in agility and a deceptive nimbleness. 

Sanji watched him rowing, amused that Usopp looked almost like a proper fisherman in his overalls, a thick sweater and knit hat. 

It struck Sanji again that Usopp had grown up in a fishing village. The ability to produce syrups and canned fruit notwithstanding. Every village on the sea shore had, in some part, a thriving fishing industry. No matter the scale. 

And it was obvious from how Usopp moved across the rocks, dodging waves and slippery seaweed, that he had harvested oysters before. Perhaps many times from how deftly he was able to pop them from their rocky beds with a few light taps from a hammer or screwdriver and into the bucket he was carrying. 

He even scooped a few fat urchins without hesitation or blatant fear on his face that he would be stung through his boots or gloves. 

This, Sanji realized, was Usopp in his element. This was Usopp showcasing his miriad talents outside of sharpshooting, and weaving fantastical stories. This was the kind of mundane skill he wouldn't brag about, because he didn't realize how cool it was to watch him scurrying around with a dumb grin on his face foraging for their dinner. 

Sanji felt himself sinking into a daydream about doing just that, he and Usopp on an uncharted Grand Line island discovering all the unique and amazing things that could be foraged, harvested and turned into an intricate meal. 

Would Usopp do that with him? Would he do it because he wanted to, not because it was a chore he had been relegated? Would he get as excited as Sanji was at the mere thought? 

Would preparing a meal together constitute a date? 

He shook his head and noticed Usopp was climbing into the dhingy and rowing back to the ship, grinning bright and thoroughly pleased with himself. 

Once tied on Zoro hoisted the little boat up while Usopp scaled the ladder singing softly to himself some madeup song about Usopp's Trademarked Fresh Shucked Oysters. 

“Usopp, best oyster catcher in the land. Caught three oysters with just one hand. So many oysters encounter me, there's hardly any left in the sea!”

Luffy took the pail and helped Usopp across the railing. “Do you think they have pearls in them?”

“Clams have pearls, not oysters.” Nami said, her nose in her journal. 

“I'm pretty sure they both can have pearls, clams are just prettier.” Usopp stretched, then hefted the bucket from Luffy's grip and moved towards the kitchen. 

“I've cooked both and never found a pearl.” Sanji said, pinching the fire from the end of his cigarette and putting the rest away for later. “They're a lot more rare than you think.”

Luffy frowned. “Awww. I wanted fancy earrings.”

Nami sighed. “Join the club.” Then she seemed to hiccup and turned to Luffy with a smirk. “Wait, you want earrings?”

Luffy shrugged. Loped over to Nami's side and peered at the notations she was making for her map. “Zoro has earrings, you have them. Shanks has one. I know not all pirates have them, but… I want one.”

Sanji had to sidestep them as Nami practically vibrated closer and grabbed Luffy's arm. “Can I do it? Can I pierce your ears?”

Zoro wrinkled his nose and went back to taking down his laundry from the lines. “Why do you want earrings? They're a pain in the ass.”

“Says the guy with three.” Usopp leaned over the railing and peered down at them from the galley doorway. 

“Yeah, so I would know. They get caught on stuff and I have to keep them in the back of my mind when I'm fighting so they don't get ripped out.”

Usopp winced visibly. “That sounds painful.”

“And don't even try to sleep in the dangling ones. One wrong move and they're caught on the blankets or pillow and there's blood everywhere.” Zoro wadded up his laundry and stuffed it back into his basket. “And a pearl earring isn't going to do shit in an emergency. If you really want one you want gold.” He thumbed his own ear. “The bigger the better.”

Luffy turned and leaned back against the rail. “I know that. But we haven't found any gold treasure yet. If we found pearls that would be our first, and I wanna remember that. And nothing says I can't have both.”

Zoro sighed and shook his head, “Yeah, alright.” 

Usopp chuckled, eyes focused on Zoro. “I'm having a hard time picturing you with pearl earrings. The old women in my village had pearls. They seem kind of… “ He twirled a finger searching for the right word. “Kind of matronly.”

Nami rolled her eyes. 

Usoop tilted his chin up, lids lowered in mischief. “Now if you wanted a necklace… That could be arranged.”

Zoro sneered. 

Nami clapped a hand over Luffy's mouth before he could voice his excitement and shook her head gently. 

Sanji couldn't help but stare. That smirk, the sparkle in his eye. The way Zoro was shaking his head fighting back a stupid grin. 

After that, Sanji would claim, he couldn't be held accountable for his actions. 

His voice shook a little. “Usopp, come help me clean them up.”

He nodded wordlessly and followed. 

The bucket was sitting in the floor beside the sink and as they approached it Usopp was already rolling up his sleeves. 

“There were a ton of them so I got kind of picky. I know back home there were some people who made things from shells, so I picked the biggest, prettiest ones, maybe we can trade them when we make port. Get a little money so Nami will get off our backs–”

Sanji didn't give himself time to think. Just grabbed Usopp by the collar and dragged him into the store room. 

Usopp squeeked, tottered and almost fell, but stumbled in with eyes wide. 

Sanji kicked the door shut behind him and shoved Usopp back against it. Hands shaking pushing forward into a kiss before Usopp had time to articulate his confusion. 

He felt it. How the shorter boy hesitated, body tense, then melted into it. Gripped the back of Sanji's jacket with both hands, gentle but insistent. Pulling him deeper and grinning against the cook's mouth. “Oooh, someone's excited.”

Sanji couldn't reply, caught his lower lip between his teeth and pinched. Snuffled back a wet feeling in his sinuses and leaned away enough to meet Usopp’s eyes. 

“Someone is definitely excited.” Usopp chuckled. 

How he managed to look so smug, so in control when he was pinned bodily against a door, Sanji couldn't understand. It was maddening. 

He loved it. 

The reddish tint to his dark skin, the chocolaty brown of his eyes, pupils dilating in want. The flash of his teeth between his kiss bruised lips. 

“I– uhm… what I mean is–”

“Hey, its ok. What's your plan here?” Usopp leaned forward and traced the angle of Sanji's jaw with his lips. Felt the blonde shiver excitedly and tilt into it. 

He couldn't speak. Couldn't really say it. Stepping into a situation that was already in progress was different than initiating it. What if Usopp didn't want to– what if this wasn't okay? Usopp was the one to take control, why did he think it would be okay to drag him in here– oh this was a mess! 

Usopp brushed the curls back from Sanji's face. “I'm okay with stuff happening if that's what you want, I just need to know what your plan is. Do you want me to tell you what to do, or…”

It would be easier that way, but something in Sanji's chest felt tight at the thought of just letting himself fall away again. That– it wasn't exactly what he wanted. He wanted to touch, taste, and feel desirable. Wanted to see if it was as nice as he remembered, or if had all just been in the moment. 

“No… I just–” He sighed in frustration. 

A nod. 

“Okay. Do you need touch or do you want to touch?”

Sanji's knees shook and he let himself sink down, hands pressing firmly, finding the shape of Usopp's pectorals and abdomen. Feeling every breath, every ticklish twitch. Pushed his face into the space between Usopp’s groin and thigh. 

Usopp chuckled. “Is it the overalls?” He shifted his feet, pushing his hips forward into the contact. “Zoro couldn't keep his hands off me last time I wore theses.”

“Fuck Zoro.” He snarled up at him, lower lip pushing forward, color rising to his cheeks. 

“Jealous?” Usopp’s smile widened. “He got on his knees for me too, you know. Even before I laid a hand on him.”

He bared his teeth, leaned back and felt the blood already beginning to drip slowly off his upper lip. He pulled a napkin from his inner jacket pocket and tried to stem the flow. 

Usopp brushed his chilled fingers against Sanji's burning cheek. “You gonna do something, sweetheart, or just sit there and bleed?”

Sanji's hands didn't shake, reached up and pressed tightly, fingers framing the bulk of Usopp’s dick through the thick fabric. Eyes pleading. 

Usopp nodded. “Only what you're okay with. You remember the–”

“Red or three knocks.”

“Good boy.” He unfastened his straps and pushed them out of the way. “Uh– don't put any fingers in me. The lube is in my room and Surprise Butt Stuff isn't fun.”

Sanji was already nodding, rhythmically tightening and relaxing his thighs in anticipation. Eagerly twisting the tissue tighter into his nose to keep back the flow.

Usopp shifted his shoulders against the door and pushed his underwear elastic down his hips, watched the hungry gleam in Sanji's eyes burn all the brighter with each inch of skin exposed. “Wanna tell me what brought this on?”

Sanji's hands shook, fingers folding against the jut of the sniper’s hip bones, the plush flesh of his upper thighs and the soft area below his navel, leaned forward and traced every crease and hollow and gentle curve with his lips and tongue. He didn't know what to say. How was he to explain that watching Usopp move so expertly but without an ounce of self consciousness or feigned bravado tickled something in him. Seeing the younger boy showcase expertise and care while providing for them all, and not giving it a moment's thought was exciting. He didn't know how to relay the fact that the other's humble proficiency was a surprising turn on. 

Usopp giggled under his breath, ticklish, “Was it really the overalls? Because– I'll wear them all the time if it–”

“No.” He lifted his chin, locking eyes, fingers stroking Usopp slowly while he peppered kisses and starving licks where sweat had begun to gather on his lower stomach. 

“You sure?” Usopp combed a hand back into Sanji's curls and let them spiral around his fingers. Gripped just hard enough to make the blonde whimper. “Because this feels like more than a coincidence.”

Sanji tugged against the pressure and directed the other's hardening dick to his lips without speaking. Cupping his balls and rolled them against his palm, fingers moving carefully– teasingly, against his perineum. 

Sanji liked to do this to himself, and he hadn't seen Zoro do much of anything but open his throat. Maybe he could take it all, it looked easy enough–

Nope. 

He pulled back fighting down a gag, alarmed at the suddenness of it. 

“Take it slow. I'm not going anywhere.”

He didn't like gagging, it made his stomach roll unpleasantly. Didn't really understand at that moment how anyone could like it. It was a little overwhelming and he had to sit there for almost a full minute before he was certain he wasn't going to be sick. 

Usopp kept gently petting his cheek, his hair, brows lowered seriously. “You okay?”

Sanji nodded. Frustration evident on his face. 

“Zoro makes it look easy, don't worry about it. We can stop if you want.”

He shook his head and refocused himself, had to restart with shaking hands, just touching, exploring. His confidence had waned, and part of him wanted to back away and pretend this hadn't happened. 

Usopp’s eyes lingered, caught the tension in Sanji's forehead and the way his nose wrinkled a little in thought. He eased himself down, sitting against the pantry door, overalls pooled at his ankles and caught Sanji by either side of his face. “Hands are okay too.”

Usopp wasn't necessarily huge, Sanji was distinctly aware of that. He was average length, but thicker. Dark and flushed and heavy, sagging a little to the right without the attention Sanji wanted to give him. “How did you learn to do it?”

Usopp grinned, gave a soft chuckle. “I–I'm not really comfortable with taking a lot… But sucking is only one part of it.” He pulled Sanji closer, until the cook was straddling his shins. Leaned forward and brushed their lips together. “Do what you're comfortable with. What makes you feel good. I promise, anything you do is good for me.” 

“You don't have to–”

“I mean it. Thinking about your hands on me? I know how precious your hands are to you. So, I'm– I'm just happy you're willing to try. Anything you do will be perfect.” He made the blonde look at him, hands firm in his Jaws. “And stop thinking about what Zoro would do. He's good at it because he has experience. You don't. Give yourself time, and a chance to learn.”

Sanji felt his teeth grit, understanding but at the same time perturbed. He had experience… He’d basically memorized every picture, and paragraph of text that detailed it. And there was no way Zoro's pliant mouth could feel better than actual participation. 

Usopp saw the defiance spark in those blue eyes. The competitive streak in Sanji's psyche flared. He didn't have time to scold him, or even warn him not to be hasty, Sanji just wiggled his hips backwards, grabbed Usopp by the hips and yanked. 

His head thudded against the door, then the floor and the next second the cook descended. Hands and lips and tongue. 

Shivers shot up Usopp's spine and the startled cry broke on his lips into a moan. “Oh, you're gonna pay for that later!”

Sanji tried to take it deeply one more time, but pulled back sharply then with bared teeth flattened himself over Usopp's legs and delved into the crease of his hip. One hand stroking, wet with spit, the other fondling his balls. Tugging and squeezing gently in time with his tongue and lips tracing each vein. 

Usopp wondered vaguely, in some cloudy and euphoric part of his mind, if Sanji would kiss like that, all teasing and dancing–

Usopp’s hips rolled gently and Sanji found himself thinking about how he and Zoro had moved together. The ecstasy on their faces. 

The way Usopp had scraped his teeth against the nape of Zoro's neck and groaned. 

Sanji wondered how it would feel to be touched like that. Fucked rough and thoroughly. 

The way Usopp had gripped Zoro's head and thrust into his mouth. 

He whined, bent forward and licked a wide stripe from base to tip. Up one side and down the other. Mouthed desperately at the globes of the other's balls. Felt him squirming, each breath a soft rumble of pleasure. Eyes fluttering shut so he could focus on the wanton little noises Usopp released. Grinding himself down against the snipers tangled trousers. 

Each moan and hissed encouragement felt like triumph and he let his mind fade away again into pure sensation. He fumbled a hand under himself and unfastened his belt, fought with zipper and the front of his boxers, loved the rough sting of denim and moaned around the flesh in his mouth. 

Usopp’s legs shook. All ten fingers delving into Sanji's curls and pulling him closer. “Good boy– hmmmm. Maybe you can teach Zoro that tongue thing– fuuuck.”

Pride swelled in his chest and he lifted up with a drooling grin, eyes hazy and slid the width of his tongue around Usopp’s glans, prodded at his slit and without warning sank down as far as he could. Remembered how Usopp had stroked himself the night before and tried it himself. 

He lasted longer than he had the night before, but he trembled the same, tasted sweeter. Rumbled out a curse into the humid air and rocked up into Sanji's mouth smoothly. 

Sanji stared down at him as he sat back on Usopp's shins, spit and spend on his chin and fingers, panting and red in the face. 

Usopp propped a hand under his head, lip between his teeth and drummed fingers on his chest. “Touch yourself. Use it like lube.”

Sanji's cheeks couldn't have gotten any redder, but he obeyed. Self conscious of it all. How his jaw ached and his cock stung a little when he wrapped a hand around it. How strange it was to touch himself with another's eyes on him. 

How exciting it was to have Usopp watching him. His suit rumpled and stained, dick hanging out of his shorts, red and leaking. The obvious stains he'd left in Usopp’s overalls. 

Those brown eyes were focused on his face. Fingers pushing up his sweater and shirt to rub at a nipple. “Make it all wet.”

Sanji shivered, stroked slowly up and down, twisting the hollow of his palm over his head at the zenith of each stroke.

“Did you like that? Sucking my dick in your pantry? You made more noises than Zoro does and he's a slut for it. Begs me to fuck his face. But you… I didn't think you were hungrier for it than him. You sucked me like you live for it. The little virgin cock slut. Did you like it? Does it taste good? Tell me how much you loved it.”

He didn't speak, just rolled his tongue out again and let the lingering mess in his mouth drip out onto the head of his own dick. Groaned and stroked faster. Ignored the wetness of a fresh nosebleed dribbling down his chin. 

Usopp’s grin widened. “You're such a mess. Covered in my cum–” He jerked his foot up, rubbing the hardness of his shin against the seat of Sanji's pants, relished in the quick gasp of want and the sudden grip on his knee to keep the cook from toppling forward. “Look at you, so sloppy and desperate you're humping my leg. That's kind of pathetic, you want it so bad but you won't let yourself have it… TeTell me how much you want it, Sanji, or I'm going to have to punish you.”

Sanji ground his teeth, fighting back the pleasure. 

Usopp ground up with his boot again, mercilessly. “Last chance.”

Sanji bared his teeth, but said nothing eyes rolling up, squeezing out his release with a muffled groan. 

Usopp glared, watched silently as the blonde caught his breath. His expression was dangerous but the fire in his eyes promised something Sanji would never forget.

*-*-*

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Chapter Text

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Zoro knew. Could tell by the stains on Usopp's clothes even if he'd tried to scrub them away in the bathroom, and the grins Sanji kept throwing at him. 

The blush on the blonde’s cheeks. The way Usopp bit his lip when their eyes met. 

It was the same looks Usopp had given Zoro. The longing and shared secrets. 

Self satisfied but also giddy in disbelief of what they'd just done. 

“Did you and the cook–” Zoro motioned to Usopp's crotch, with his eyes narrowed. “Have a messy quickie or did you do that yourself?”

Usopp grinned, leaned close and batted his eyes. “Jealous?”

Zoro just continued to scowl. 

“He attacked me in the pantry. Got on his knees with this ravenous look in his eyes. He was so sloppy– Then he did this thing with his tongue.” A low chuckle. “Rolled his ‘r’ with my balls in his mouth. My balls Zoro.”

Zoro blushed, glanced quickly away then back again. “I can do that.”

Usopp rolled his eyes. “Just let him show you–”

Zoro's mouth dropped open and he turned on the sniper, backing him up against the wall of the storage room. “I don't need him to show me how to suck dick–”

“No, listen– he sucked on my balls Zoro! You haven't done that. You just like being gagged and having your ass slapped. With you I do all the work, he just went for it!”

Usopp knew he'd made a mistake the second the words were out of his mouth because Zoro's eyes narrowed, jaw flexing, and the next second the swordsman shoved him up against the crate containing Sandwich’s litter box and roughly yanked the sniper’s shoulder straps free, shoving his trousers and underwear out of the way. 

Usopp should have known better than sparking a new competition into being between the older boys, but he never claimed to be a genius, though maybe he was and it had been intentional. Yeah, he would tell everyone it was intentional later. Who could blame him? 

Two attractive guys fighting over who could suck his dick better? That sounded like heaven. 

He was very, very wrong. 

Zoro attacked him. Pinned his wrists to the crate, then sucked and kissed, and moaned him to hardness, muttering with wet lips and eyes narrowed in threat. 

“He's touched you twice, Usopp. I've done this for years. I've spent hours laying awake with fingers in my mouth imagining it. I've dreamed about this since I was thirteen… I don't care how sloppy, or hungry he was. There's more to it than what that pathetic little virgin slut could even imagine.” 

“You're so jealous of him it's sad.” Usopp tilted his head back. “He wanted it sooo bad he couldn't resist. I think I'm going to wear these overalls more often if it gets the two if you so riled up.”

Zoro pulled back and looked at him with his nose crinkled. “Don't you dare.”

Usopp pushed his hips forward and tugged against his wrists. “Who do you think is in charge here? If you want to prove yourself so badly shut up and put those lips to good use! Where's your dedication? Sanji might not be able to take it down like you, but he didn't let me get soft while he ran his mouth!”

Zoro scowled, ears and face reddening and turned his attention back to the other's erection. 

Usopp’s head dropped back on his neck with a soft groan, hips pushing forward and back. “That's it. Show me what you've got.”

He thought that would be the end of it. Zoro would give Sanji smug grins every time their eyes met, maybe Zoro would make some whispered comment about how Usopp had bitten back a cry when he'd come, but instead something more… Interesting happened. 

“Oh, he thinks he's so much better than me? That fucker–” And Sanji had pulled Usopp into his room, pushed a hand into Usopp's trousers and jerked him off roughly, expertly. Dropped to his knees and sucked him through the thin fabric of his trunks. Mouthed at his thighs and left a heart shaped bruise on his belly, just to the right and above Zoro's fading mark. 

Usopp thought, for a few hours, that he'd gone to heaven. The two most attractive men he'd ever seen were fighting over him. Bitter and jealous over the idea that the other had made Usopp feel good. 

But by the sixth orgasm of the day things weren't exactly feeling so good. 

So when Sanji grabbed him for the fourth time, lips still reddened from the last frantic encounter, Usopp wondered if this wasn't some kind of punishment.

He had strayed too close to the sun and now his balls ached unpleasantly and the tenderness after orgasm was definitely kind of painful. 

But it didn't stop.

Every time Sanji caught Zoro's eyes, or Zoro smirked messily at Sanji it was like, instead of breaking out into a scuffle as they usually did, they were taking that frustration out on Usopp’s poor dick. 

He wondered, stumbling out of Zoro's spare room, legs shaking weak, if this was karma for manhandling Zoro through back-to-back orgasms even though he complained about being ‘sensitive’ after. No, this was more than sensitivity. Usopp had discovered the exquisite agony of coming dry two orgasms ago and he was now aware of the unholy reckoning he'd called down upon himself simply by being trapped between two feuding brats who could physically overpower him without really trying. 

As soon as he stumbled on deck with Zoro grinning and sweaty and smug behind him, gray eyes locked on Sanji's face at the galley door, Usopp knew what had to be done. 

He ran. Banged his way into the storage room and dove for Nami's bedroom door with the muffled sound of Zoro and Sanji arguing behind him. 

“What the hell!” She was only half dressed. Sweats and a tshirt, makeup smeared around her face as she'd been in the process of taking it off. Getting a few hours of sleep before her night watch shift began. 

Usopp slumped dramatically at the foot of her stairs, gripping the wall with a pathetic whimper. “Help me.”

Nami blinked at him, entirely unimpressed. “You brought this on yourself.”

“They're trying to kill me!”

Nami turned back to her mirror and continued rubbing coldcream around her eyes and cheeks. “Oh, no, Usopp's having too much sex, whatever shall we do!” She stuck out her tongue and made a rude sound in his direction. “That's what you get for trying to sleep your way through the crew!”

“I think they sucked my soul out of my dick, Nami, because I promise you there's not any cum left! Not after THAT!” He slumped further, practically lying on his face on the floor quietly sobbing. 

“You can tell them to stop, you know. That's what safewords are for.”

“But it feels really good in the moment and I kind of forget–”

“Ew… I really didn't need to know that you've got a pain kink on top of everything else. Sounds like they sucked your brain out–” She delicately wiped the cream from around one eye then the other and stared at his reflection in annoyance. 

He turned his face out of the carpet and pouted at her, making his most pathetic face. 

She sighed and held up a bottle in each hand. “Sea Weed or Oatmilk?”

“Seaweed.”

She turned from the mirror and grabbed a pillow, “Get over here before I change my mind.”

He scrambled over on hands and knees, pausing only long enough to strip off his sweater so the creams didn't stain the wool. 

It had been a few weeks since they'd done a self-care night. Things just happened to frequently now that they were closer to the Grand Line, to allow for this particular luxury at regular intervals. 

She sat against the edge of her bed, pillow on her lap and let Usopp lay down with his head there so she could apply astringent and exfoliants.

“You've got a pimple here–”

He covered it and gave her a scowl. “I'm not consenting to your popping fetish–”

She batted his hand away. “Calm down. It's not ready anyway.” 

She used a spray bottle to dampen a cloth and made a face in concentration as she worked the seaweed infused cleanser into a soft lather on his skin, grinning manically when it scratched against the little stiff hairs on his chin. 

“Weird! Sex really does make your hair grow faster!”

He rolled his eyes and groped for the basket of nail polish she kept beside her little makeup table. “I owe them both punishment for this. I don't think spanking is going to work. Zoro likes it too much.”

“Ew.” She pinched his cheek. “If he likes it, do something he doesn't like.”

“Isn't that like, against the rules?”

“I mean, something that frustrates him, not something that he's gonna say No to.” She worked the lather for a few seconds longer, then leaned back thoughtfully. “Though I'm kind of curious what Zoro would say ‘no’ to. He seems like the kind of guy who'd be into almost anything.”

Usopp grunted but didn't speak, his body relaxing into the gentle tingle of the facial cleanser. 

“And Sanji… God, I'm still trying to wrap my head around that.” She giggled. “The thought of him sucking cock is–” She hesitated staring thoughtfully into the aether. “Is it weird that I kind of wanna watch?”

Usopp grinned, a little too wide for his face. “Interesting… Go on.”

“I feel like he'd be humiliated by the idea of it, especially me, yanno?” She drummed her fingers on his shoulders. “And even if I don't want to have sex with him, I'm not blind. He's attractive, and I bet he'd be so pretty tied up and fucked within an inch of his life.”

“Every time he gags he almost pukes.”

Nami hummed in understanding. “Yeah, that sucks.”

Usopp chuckled. “He drools, and the shit he does with that tongue!”

Nami punched his shoulder gently. “I'm already jealous, don't make me regret telling him no!”

“I'm just saying, when he finds a girl he likes, she's not going to be disappointed!”

“Oh, what do you know about girls!” She found the damp cloth and began carefully wiping the cleanser from Usopp’s face. 

“Sanji has a massive porn collection. Massive.”

“Who doesn't have a massive porn collection?”

He shook with silent laughter. 

Nami worked moisturizer over his skin, then pinched his earlobe. “You want an earring? I need to practice for Luffy anyway.”

Usopp flailed a little, as if he were going to sit up and leave, but it was half hearted at best and Nami pulled him back down again.

“I don't want you randomly poking holes in me!” 

“It would be one hole! Three at most!” She pulled over her sewing kit and the little tin she kept her earrings in. “And I won't even charge you for the first one!”

“This is high seas robbery!”

There was a soft scuff at the window hatch at the foot of Nami's bed, and both she and Usopp froze. 

The hatch pushed back hesitantly and Zoro peered in brows scrunched in confusion. “What the hell are you two doing?”

Nami wriggled her fingers at him. “Dark Magic. You and Sanji sucked this poor guy's soul out his dick, so I'm trying to put it back with seaweed scrub and Shea butter.”

Zoro pushed the window open further and leaned in grinning, arms crossed under his chin. “Told you I could do a tongue thing.”

Nami made a gagging noise. “Ew.”

Usopp scowled at him. “You're cut off, both of you. Until I've thought up appropriate punishments for your crimes!”

“What? I didn't hear you even try to tap out!” He looked proud of himself. “If it was that awful you should have said something.”

“I'm dehydrated now. Tell him, Nami! I'm dying of exhaustion!” He flopped bonelessly, gripping his chest and struggling for breath. 

Nami wanted no part of it and went back to perusing her few pairs of earrings for some she wouldn't regret giving away. 

Zoro sighed, hopeless and forced his way through the window. Sandwich squeaking and batting at his heels.

Nami perked up as soon as she heard the cat and tried to coax him inside but he huffed and bounded away. 

“One day, cat! One day I will get cuddles from you! I swear it!” She grumbled bitterly then turned her attention to Zoro with narrowed eyes. “No surprise dick sucking, especially in my room!”

“What is that crap?” Zoro crouched beside them and poked at the cream on Usopp's face. 

“It's moisturizer!” Usopp slapped at his wrist. “And unless you want to join in on spa day, you can take a hike!”

Zoro looked, for a brief moment, insulted. 

Nami grinned evilly. “You have to join in and let me pierce your ear!”

“Bartender in Sona Bay beat you to that like six years ago!” He tugged gently at them. 

“Oh, come on! I need to practice on more than just myself! Luffy's counting on me!”

“If anyone should be poking holes in Luffy it should be a professional!” Usopp raised a finger. “I'll do it! I’ve done it hundreds of times!”

Nami ignored him. “You owe me anyway, Zoro. So, come on! It's not like you have anything else that could aid the situation.”

Zoro's shoulders sagged and he peered down at the little tin of jewelry at her hip. “Fine, but you're not using any of that crap.”

“Hey!”

“It's cheap and it'll make it take longer to heal.”

Nami stared at him with her mouth open. “What do you know about jewelry! You wear the same ones all the time!”

“No, I don't.”

“I have never seen you wear anything but those bars!”

He blinked slowly. “Did you guys never wonder where all the money I got hunting pirates went?”

“I figured you lost it, or drank it.” Nami muttered bitterly. 

“Okay, that's fair… But I didn't drink all of it!”

Usopp sat up, “Wait, are you saying you have jewelry?”

“I'm saying I have jewelry.”

“Go get it! I wanna see it!” Nami shoved at him violently. 

He lifted a hand to fend her off. “No, you'll steal it!”

“I will not!” Neither Usopp nor Zoro really believed her, but the swordsman climbed back to his feet and went to the window muttering. 

“Hey, have you seen Usopp?” Luffy's voice called down from the deck as Zoro passed under the open hatch. “Sanji's looking for him.”

Zoro paused and stared up at Luffy dangling from the yard, swaying gently in the breeze. “Of course he is.”

Sandwich waddled over and crouched staring at Zoro's upturned face. 

“Usopp's busy.” Zoro turned away and moved toward his room. 

“Liar.”

It was a hushed sound. Muttered under the breath and Zoro paused mid step and turned, backtracking to stare up at Luffy wide eyed. “What did you just say?”

Luffy shook his head and kept swinging. “I didn't say anything.”

Sandwich yawned and stretched then padded away. 

“Sure you didn't.”

“I really didn't!”

Zoro rolled his eyes, he was on a mission, no time to get sidetracked. “Whatever.” He moved off toward his room once more. 

Nami was lying with her head pillowed on Usopp's thigh when Zoro returned, letting the sniper gently massage cleansing foam on her cheeks and brow. 

“I swear if you try to steal any of this I'm gonna cut all your clothes to pieces!” Zoro swung back into the room and sat gingerly at her hip, holding out a rather intricately carved wooden box. 

Nami sat up, bouncing in excitement and pried the box open, Usopp leaning over her shoulder to watch. 

“Oh.” She frowned. “This is all ugly!”

“It's practical!” Zoro snarled. 

She prodded through the neatly organized triplets of earrings. Simple round silver studs, simple round gold studs. Small hoops, another set of bars. A set that looked like little swords. Some small gold skulls. 

“These are all ugly man earrings!”

Zoro scowled at her. “What were you expecting, emeralds and diamonds? If I could afford that do you really think I'd owe you anything?” 

Usopp picked up a set of irregularly shaped curls he realized were tentacles. “Oh, we need to have a conversation about these, babe.” He held them up to his own ear and devolved into giggles. 

“They're supposed to go higher.” Zoro tapped the outer shell of his ear. 

Usopp scooted away so he could see his reflection in Nami's mirror and held the earrings up. “Okay, you know what. That's kind of badass.”

Nami grinned. “I can totally do that!” Then she found it, hiding at the bottom of the box and her nose wrinkled in disgust. “Is that a tooth?”

Zoro snorted, amused with himself. “Yeah. My first bar fight.” 

Nami's eyes fluttered as if she might faint and she pushed the box back into Zoro's hands. “You're gross.”

“What, it's not even my tooth!”

“That's even worse!”

Usopp crawled over to look, eyes wide. “Okay, honestly, if it wasn't a gold tooth I'd have to agree with Nami. But the fact that you knocked out some guy's gold tooth then kept it and made a necklace out of it is just hilarious.”

Zoro held it up, proud of himself. “It was my birthday.”

“Nice.”

Nami scoffed. “You're both disgusting. Get out.”

“I thought you were going to pierce my ear!” Usopp pouted. "I psyched myself up and everything!" 

“Oh, no! Not while you're discovering a budding pain fetish and making googoo eyes at your boyfriend over some random guy's nasty tooth! Ugh– Who even knows where that thing's been! Or what kind of diseases it has!” She threw a damp rag at them. “Get out!”

“Are you gonna practice for Luffy or not?” Zoro helped Usopp slip through the window. “Because I'm only offering to let you poke holes in me for his sake.”

She hesitated, face still schooled into annoyance. “After dinner. I don't want Usopp passing out when he sees blood because you and Sanji sucked him dry.”

“Blood?” Usopp whimpered. “Did she say blood?”

Zoro rolled his eyes and lifted himself through the window, shutting it behind him. “It's fine. You'll barely even feel it.” He smirked and nudged Usopp with his elbow as he passed on his way to the ladder. “Besides, it'll stop bleeding in a day or two… Maybe.”

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Chapter Text

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Punishment was something Usopp was beginning to realize would likely play a major part in any bedroom games he would be participating in. The problem was, he wasn't exactly sure what that meant. Spanking was okay, it was fun, Zoro responded to it enthusiastically, even Sanji seemed okay with it. 

If Zoro was promised a few good smacks and a hard fuck he was pretty easy to deal with. He knew what he liked, and had made that clear before they'd even had sex the first time.

It also seemed to snap him back to attention if Usopp compared him to Sanji. The competitive streak in him spurred the swordsman into obedience and focus with only a few words. It was also kind of fun to tease him and see how ruffled he got. 

Adding Sanji to the mix had opened new doors, and pushed sharply on a sore spot in Zoro's psyche. It threw the smooth routine of his sex life into chaos. 

It was unexpected, but not unwelcome. Seeing Zoro and Sanji kissing the night of the vibrator incident had been exciting. The noises they made together, how uncontrolled Zoro seemed and the way he wanted to make the cook scream with pleasure. 

It was erotic, thinking of the two of them together, even more so when Usopp thought about being the one to orchestrate their encounters. But, there was more to it. The two older boys obviously wanted one another, but they also wanted Usopp, wanted to fight over who could make Usopp feel better. 

It was a power trip, he wouldn't lie about that. But, punishing Zoro for misbehaving during their games was easy. He knew what worked because he had experience. He was a good teacher and took the time to discuss things with Usopp when he wanted to try something new. 

During the days they hadn't been able to be together, they'd started writing notes, or sitting on the deck before Usopp went to bed to touch base. And every morning they had a few minutes to themselves. 

Sanji, from their previous conversation, didn't know what worked for him. Or even what his preferences were, and he and Zoro were too volatile on average, to be able to sit down and have a conversation without a mediator. So, that meant Usopp had to be the experienced one in this. And, that was a little intimidating. He was afraid of screwing it up. He didn't know everything, what if he did something wrong? 

This was important, he wanted Sanji to find confidence and learn more about himself safely, so Usopp had to find the courage in his core and make sure he did things right. 

As much as he enjoyed seeing Zoro and Sanji fight over him, it wasn't healthy because if they were fighting over who gave better blowjobs, it meant someone felt inadequate. 

Zoro didn't like feeling inadequate, neither did Sanji. It bruised deep, dark parts of their psyche that not even Usopp had been able to fully pick apart. So, he had to nip that in the bud. Find a way to ease those insecurities, not goad them, no matter how much of an ego boost it gave him. He would be more proud if he was able to help them both feel better about themselves. 

The jealousy may always linger between them, but that didn't mean Usopp had to feed it. He had to encourage them to work together, and stand on his word to punish them if they didn't listen. 

Punishment wasn't meant to harm, it was supposed to be a reminder of their roles, and the rules in the scene, or a game in itself. 

I have to be smart about this. Find ways to play with their rivalry that don't end with one of them feeling bad. 

What worked for them both? 

Praise. Zoro liked being praised, so did Sanji. Zoro liked being called a good boy, but Sanji seemed to like being called a slut. He enjoyed the ability to embrace his secret desires in a safe space. Outright praise seemed to affect Sanji more and seemed to end in tears. And yes, Usopp thought that Sanji needed it, on a deeper level, but it was something they would have to explore carefully because he wasn't entirely sure what traumas had made Sanji react to praise like that. 

For Zoro, it was easier, he knew his own strengths and had confidence where sex was concerned. Sanji didn't. They were both self-sacrificing and stubborn to a fault. But Sanji had the self confidence of a slug. 

Zoro had restraint, Sanji was so touch starved and hungry for affection that he let his desires win over his common sense. 

Okay, I can work with that. I can tease Zoro and try to make him lose control, because he knows his limits. Sanji doesn't yet. Bondage might work, I'll have to ask him about that later. 

Usopp sighed, he had to learn more control over himself. Letting Zoro and Sanji suck his brains out past the point of pleasure was going to be an issue. The intensity of the orgasm when it kind of hurt a little did things to him that Usopp hadn't expected. 

Zoro had mentioned that he liked things to hurt a little, but Usopp didn't like pain normally. In fact he spent a lot of his time and effort avoiding it at all costs. His thoughts strayed back to the incident in the bathroom back on Mona Costa. How even though Zoro's unplanned finger action had been really uncomfortable, he hadn't lost even a fraction of his stiffness. 

It was a strange, consuming thought. Had he liked it? Did he kind of, maybe want more of it? 

He shook his head and tried to focus back on the task at hand. Helping Sanji shuck the purged oysters in preparation for steaming. 

Sanji was quiet, stared at Usopp with his brows drawn down and his chafed lips pursed. His thoughts written plainly on his face, if you knew what to look for. 

Usopp sighed and wiped his knife clean on the cloth across his thigh. “It's OK. I'm not angry. I've just got a lot going through my mind.”

Sanji's face went red and he ducked his chin, voice hushed. “Oh… I

I was worried I'd–” His voice trailed off. 

Usopp nudged his foot under the table. “I think what the problem is, is that we all need to have a conversation about boundaries.”

Sanji's mouth opened and closed. 

“I'm not angry, I'm just realizing we never talked about it, and I let things get out of hand.”

“I'm sorry– I don't know what came over me, I just–I couldn't stop myself! I just-I needed to–”

“It's okay.” Usopp reached across the table and took the cook's hand in his own. “This isn't your fault. Again, I'm not angry. I just don't want either of us to be in a situation where boundaries are crossed, or we accidentally hurt one another because we didn't sit down and talk first.”

Sanji shifted uncomfortably and rubbed his forearm across his eyes. “I just couldn't stand how smug he looked–”

Usopp chuckled, gave Sanji's hand a gentle shake. “Yeah, the three of us have a long conversation coming, but right now, this is between me and you. I need to make sure you aren't pushing yourself beyond what you're comfortable with because you're competitive.”

Sanji took a slow breath and his hand turned on Usopp's grip, their palms pressed hesitantly together. “You seem surprisingly knowledgeable about this kind of thing, considering.”

Usopp rolled his eyes. “Zoro gave me this book, and I've read it like three times now. Plus I may have gone back to Mally’s after breakfast that day and five-finger-discounted myself another one.”

Sanji grinned, shy and crooked and Usopp squeezed his palm a little closer. 

“This is important to me. Zoro was right, I enjoy it, and I wanna know how to do it right because making who I'm with feel good is amazing! So, if this is something you enjoy, and want to do, I want you to know how to do it right too.”

Sanji nodded and withdrew so he could continue prepping their dinner. “It's a little embarrassing, talking about– about sex.”

“It's okay. This is what people in healthy relationships do. They communicate. It can be kind of weird if it's new, or you don't have experience with healthy relationships, but it's worth it.”

Sanji took a slow breath and nodded, face reddening. He had to look away, eyes on his hands to be able to speak. “I like the idea of making people feel good.” 

“Okay, that's something we can agree on.” He turned back to his own portion of oysters. “Would you mind me asking… What exactly brought that on earlier? Not complaining, just– if it really was the overalls–”

Sanji's blush deepened. “I don't know, you were just– you were out there looking so in your element. Providing for us all, and it's not the kind of thing you'd ever brag about doing either. It's something you don't take a lot of pride in because you don't think it has value.”

Usopp stared at him, shocked. 

Sanji rolled his eyes and pushed his stack of discarded half shells into the box he had at his hip. “You're not the only one who can read people.”

It was Usopp’s turn to blush. 

“But, I started thinking that we could do stuff like that together some time… And maybe if you wanted to we could– could prepare a meal together one day. Like, wild shopping or whatever you call it.”

“Wild shopping?”

“You know, you hunt for your main dish and forage the sides and garnishes? Everything you prepare comes from that one isolated area and it would never be the same twice! Kind of a date thing.”

Usopp’s grin widened. “Wild shopping, okay. I'm seeing the appeal… Was it the Romance of it? Or was it that, plus you knew I'm perfectly willing to give you the Pirate Lord treatment.”

He pouted simply because he didn't want Usopp to see how excited the idea made him. “Maybe both.”

“Sanji, I'd like that. Wild shopping, and cooking with you. You'll just have to be patient, because I'm not good at it.”

Sanji squirmed a little, hair hiding his face. “Think we could rope the Mosshead into it if I promised booze?”

“Oh, I think he'd do it willingly if we asked him right. He might not show it, but he's just as excited by the idea of dating as I am.”

Usopp finished his portion of oysters and watched Sanji arrange them in his steamer baskets. There was a soft grin on the cook's face, an excited spring in his step as he moved around the galley. 

“So,” Sanji started softly as he began working on the cream sauce for the pasta. “What kind of boundaries do we need to talk about?”

“Well, boundaries for different circumstances. Like, what are you comfortable with doing in public? What are you comfortable with Luffy and Nami knowing about? What are things that you don't feel comfortable doing in a soft scene? What are things you aren't comfortable doing at all– and that doesn't mean in the future, that means right now. Today. You're allowed to change your boundaries as you get more experience, and find out more about what you like and don't like. For instance; Zoro doesn't like being tickled. It makes him angry. We had a discussion about that a while back. I don't really like being tickled, but it's mostly because I end up getting hard if you don't stop.”

Sanji thought about this silently for a few seconds. “I don't really think I've ever been tickled.”

“Okay. Also, Zoro doesn't like people messing with his feet. Mostly because of the tickling thing, but apparently there are people who like feet, so yeah.”

“Okay.”

“And I don't like gagging, it hurts my throat. So if I go down on you, don't try to move my head, just let me do my thing.”

Sanji paused his onion chopping and looked up with wide eyes. “You– You'd do that?”

Usopp shrugged. “It's kind of nice– Speaking of, how did you do that thing with your tongue!”

“Oh, uh…”

Usopp waved his hands dismissively. “No, I'm staying on task– right. Later. Tell me later.”

Sanji was still staring at him. “Gagging… I don't like gagging. I didn't expect it to be that bad. And the taste is– it's not pleasant. You need more citrus fruit and protein.”

“What will that do?”

Sanji's face was red again. “It tastes different if you eat well.”

Usopp balked. “How do you know that!”

Sanji looked away, embarrassment plain on his face. 

Usopp chuckled. “Who's cum have you tasted!”

“Stop– it– like you never tasted your own before!”

Usopp slapped the table. “I hadn't! Okay, okay– sorry. More citrus and protein. Got it.”

Sanji started chopping again to distract himself. “I don't think I'm ready to actually have sex, it– it’s–” 

Usopp let out a breath in sympathy. “It's okay to be scared. This is all really new for you, there's no rush. Like we said before, if you chose us, great. If you don't, that's okay. We'll never force you to do something you aren't okay with.”

“I'm not so much ‘scared’… I

I don't know.” 

“This is a boundary. It's okay. This is why we're talking.”

Sanji nodded. “Fingers are okay… Maybe the mouth thing.”

Usopp nodded, folded his arms on the tabletop and rested his chin on them. 

“Rubbing might be okay.”

“Are you okay with kissing?”

He nodded, pulled his lower lip between his teeth to hide a grin. 

“Was the spanking okay?”

“Yeah, just… uhm– not a lot of it, and not too rough.”

“Was last night too rough?”

He hesitated. “In the moment it was okay, but…”

“Alright. We'll work on it. I'm sorry it wasn't okay.”

“No it–”

“If it makes you feel weird after, then it's something we need to talk about. Aftercare doesn't have a time limit.” 

When Sanji said nothing Usopp pushed to his feet and approached the cook, wrapped his arms loosely under the blonde’s and pressed his palms over his heart, chin hooked on Sanji's shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it? What felt weird?”

Sanji's quick even knife work slowed to a stop and he put it carefully aside, hands folded on the countertop before him. 

The ship rocked gently and outside they could hear Zoro and Luffy chattering while they worked. 

“After I went to bed I just felt… Weird. And kept remembering things from a long time ago. It wasn't bad, and the feeling went away pretty quick, but I–” He lifted a hand and caught Usopp's wrist, seemed to think deeply before he spoke. Just a whisper. “I didn't have a happy childhood, and it kind of reminded me of that for a little bit. Because I could still kind of feel it when I was alone.”

“Okay. If you don't want to do it again I will completely understand and won't be disappointed.”

“No, its not that. It was– It felt good, just maybe-” A deep breath, and when he resumed there was more certainty, more confidence in his voice “Not so hard next time.”

Usopp gave him a gentle squeeze and a kiss to the side of his neck. “Okay. Thank you for telling me. Next time will be better.”

They stood there for a while, swaying with the ship, then Sanji patted his hand and went back to chopping vegetables. 

Usopp gave him another soft kiss, then turned to wash his hands. “Okay. What can I do to help!”

“There's still some milk in the fridge, it needs to be used before it goes bad, so how about I show you how to make a cream sauce, and then we'll make a cake with what's left?”

“Sounds good!”

They continued to talk as they worked. Usopp gave a few more examples of his own boundaries and Zoro's. 

Zoro was okay with certain types of public affection, but didn't want to do sex stuff with people watching who weren't involved. Kissing was okay, but handholding could be dangerous if he had to go for his swords unexpectedly. 

Sanji was more than okay with the idea of holding hands, but kissing in public might not be. Sex stuff with non-involved people was a hard no. 

Then Luffy and Zoro came in, sweaty and demanding drinks and Sanji went about making mint infused tea. 

“It's starting to warm up out there.” Zoro shed his coat. 

“Finally!” Sanji muttered. “I was starting to worry we'd find icebergs before the grand line!”

Luffy was practically drooling by the time Sanji presented their tea. “Is dinner done yet?”

“No. We're working on it.”

“We?” Zoro looked surprised. 

“He's teaching me to make a cream sauce!”

Luffy hesitated, mug halfway to his mouth. “Is that a sex thing or a food thing?”

“Both, but this time he means a food thing.” Sanji tossed an apple Luffy's way. 

Luffy caught it and started munching immediately. 

“So, what are you two talking about?” Zoro sipped his own tea slowly, enjoying the warmth it spread in his middle. 

“Boundaries.” Usopp turned back to the stove, brows pinched in concentration as he carefully shifted the butter in the sauce pan. He glanced up at Sanji and lowered his voice. “We can continue later if you would rather it be private.”

Sanji looked over his shoulder and caught Luffy staring. “Actually… This is something Luffy needs to know, if he ever wants to be with someone like that. I'm not the only one here without much experience.”

It was surprising at first. The idea that Sanji wanted to include Luffy in the conversation, but he was right. They couldn't treat their captain like a kid. He deserved to know what went into navigating a sex life.

Zoro seemed impressed and leaned his shoulder into Luffy's, voice lowered to explain quickly what was about to happen. 

“Okay, so… Uhm– they were talking about things relating to sex.”

“Oh, should I leave?”

“No. If there's a possibility that you might want to have sex some day, there are things you need to know. Like, about consent and protection.”

“Like condoms and stuff?”

“Yeah. But there's more to it. There are different types of condoms and things to physically protect your body, but, there's also consent, if you don't have your partner's explicit consent for sex stuff, its–” Zoro's throat tightened and he found himself staring into Luffy's big brown eyes and innocent face and worrying that he might cause the younger boy distress simply by explaining why one needed to obtain consent. 

“If you don't have the other person's consent, or permission to do things like this, Luffy, it's rape.”

Luffy's face became serious. 

“And consent doesn't just mean they agree to do it, because someone can agree under duress, or because they're afraid, or don't really understand what it means, or because they think they have to for some reason– I don't want to scare you with all this, it's just really important.”

Luffy gave a slow nod, fingers tightening on his mug. “You're not scaring me. I–I kind of know what that is already.”

Dread filled Zoro's stomach and he caught Sanji and Usopp turning in their direction warily. “Has someone hurt you like that?”

“No! No.” Luffy looked at each of them in turn. “My brother talked about it, he knew someone it happened to. He made sure I knew how to–” He rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. “--How to make someone leave me alone if they got too close I guess.”

“I like this brother,” Sanji turned back to his appetizers. 

“Okay.” Zoro felt himself relax. “What did he teach you?”

“Throat punches mostly.”

“Yeah, yeah that'll work.” Zoro chuckled. “You can also go for the eyes, or just grab their balls and squeeze until they pop.”

Usopp and Luffy winced. Eyes wide, imagining the pain of it. 

“Like eggs.” Sanji mimed squeezing very tightly to illustrate. “If someone is trying to hurt you, don't hold back.”

Luffy gave a serious nod. “I never hold back.”

“True, but for this specifically. If they're trying to hurt you, show no mercy.”

Luffy peeled out of his jacket and pushed up the sleeves of his borrowed sweater. “Okay, but how do you know if someone's actually saying it's okay?”

“You respect their boundaries. If they say no, it means no. If they act hesitant, take that as a ‘no,’ not a ‘try harder’. And don't be afraid to nope out of any situation, even if you're already in the middle of it. You can say no whenever.”

Luffy nodded, started chewing on his apple core. His eyes narrowed. “I think that's why I don't like hearing you guys do it. I can't tell.”

Usopp tilted his head curiously. 

“It sounds too much like fighting. It's not supposed to sound like fighting if you're enjoying it. When it sounds like fighting I get worried and I'm not sure what to do.”

“I can see how that can be upsetting.” Zoro leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms thoughtfully. “Okay. With Usopp and me, I–I like it to feel a little bit like fighting.”

“Like when he slapped your butt?”

“Yeah. There's things– uhm. I mean, some people–”

“He's kinky.” Usopp said, barely containing himself. “I'm kinky… Sanji's kinky. Hell, Nami's kind of kinky.”

Luffy's nose wrinkled in mild disgust. 

Usopp shrugged. “Some people like it to feel a little bit like fighting. Some people like to play pretend and make up elaborate stories to go along with it.”

Zoro sagged back in his seat, letting Usopp do the heavy lifting. 

“There's a lot more to it,” Usopp held out the sauce pan to Sanji, ready for the shallot and garlic. “But, that's a very basic explanation. A kink is something that society might not consider ‘normal’ when it comes to a person's preferences with sex. It can be something like fighting, or costumes, or specific body parts. But as long as both people are of age and consenting it's okay. Just because it's unusual doesn't automatically make it wrong. Like, for me and Zoro, we like Domination and Submission. It's a sex game where one person is like the boss, and the other person does what they're told.”

“Sooo, you're just pretend fighting.”

“Yeah! I like to be in charge of what he does, and he likes to be controlled. But, we actually talk about what we want to do, and what we don't want to do beforehand. So nobody is actually being hurt, or forced to do anything they don't want to do. And if something happens while we're playing that someone doesn't like, we use a safeword to let the other know that we need to stop. Because sometimes in the game we say ‘stop’ while we're pretending, the safeword is there so we don't get confused.” It took more mental gymnastics than Usopp had anticipated to explain it so gently and he had to turn to make sure Luffy had been able to understand him and Zoro wasn't upset.

But, if anything, Zoro looked proud. A grin on his face and eyes narrowed affectionately.

Luffy was looking at him thoughtfully while he sipped his tea. “That makes sense… Is it fun?” But he wasn't looking at Usopp, or Zoro. He was looking right at Sanji. 

And Sanji was the color of a beet. He stuttered helplessly, “It–I mean– I'm-it's– uhm.”

Zoro was choking back laughter. 

“I don't know yet.” Sanji fumbled his spoon. “I'm figuring things out… Those two are just– It's…”

“You like them.” Luffy wagged his mug in the air, wordlessly demanding more tea. “And they're safe.”

Sanji stilled, staring down into the flames. “Yeah… I’m just– I didn't know I– that I liked men.”

“That's okay. People aren't meant to stay the same forever. You grow up, and get stronger and sometimes you realize stuff you said you didn't like before is actually awesome… Like brussel sprouts! When you put bacon and cheese and garlic on them they're really good.”

Sanji grinned over his shoulder “Is that a hint?”

Luffy glanced to the side and shook his mug again. “Maybe.”

Usopp took mercy on him and picked up the teapot. He went to fill Luffy's cup with a grin. 

“Anyway, as long as you guys aren't actually fighting when you have sex, and you're not forcing one another, then I don't mind.” Luffy slurped noisily at his tea and grabbed at the pot when Usopp tried to take it back to the stove. “I don't think I'd like games like that, but as long as it's conceptual and I don't have to hear it anymore then it's fine.”

“Consensual.”

“Whatever.”

Usopp turned back to his task. “You don't have to do it if it doesn't appeal to you. Everyone's different. Maybe you just like other stuff.” 

Luffy sat quietly for a moment, thinking. “I don't know what I'd like, I just know I don't like how it sounds.”

“What do you mean?” Zoro finished his own tea and rested his elbows on the table. 

Luffy shifted uncomfortably. “You guys were really noisy, and you moaned and screamed a lot, and like I said, I couldn't tell if you were hurt or not. Is it always that noisy?”

“Not always. Usopp is pretty quiet.”

“Do you not make any noise?” Usopp turned to him as Sanji took over the sauce pot for the final steps. 

“I don't know.” He rubbed at his nose self consciously. “If I do, it's not loud enough to be distracting. I mean, I've only done it right once, so I don't know… I hope I don't.”

“The noises can be fun though.” Usopp leaned across the countertop and grinned at Zoro. “I like the noises personally. The little moans and gasps. How your breath catches–”

Luffy shrank in on himself. “No. I don't– I don't like that.” His eyes were distant and he held his mug tightly between both hands. 

Zoro tilted his head, worried that his captain was having such an obvious and visceral reaction to just the idea of it.

“Luffy, you can tell us if something is wrong. We'll understand.”

He didn't look at them, eyes caught on something in the middle distance. “No.”

Zoro didn't like it, but he didn't want to make whatever it was that bothered Luffy worse, so he relented. 

*-*-*

Dinner was… Different. 

Sandwich put his paws and chin on the tabletop and swatted at the plate of uni desperately. 

Nami pulled him into her lap grinning. Vigorously rubbing her cheek and chin against his head. 

“I haven't had Uni in ages! Just you wait baby, it's delicious!, 

“No feeding the cat uni. I'll spare him some fish later, but I draw the line with the urchins.” Sanji said, glaring at Luffy, but nervously glancing at Nami. Was this okay? Putting his foot down like this? 

Nami's mouth opened to protest but she caught the anxiety written plainly on Sanji's face as he looked back at her. “Yeah, okay. Sorry, baby boy. No urchin for you.”

“If any of them have pearls, I call them for earrings!” Luffy wiped his mouth, eyes locked on the platter of oysters.

“You need plain metal studs first, then once they heal you can wear fancy ones.” Nami leaned over and pinched Luffy's nearest earlobe, grinning. “How many times do you want? Zoro said we can use some of his earrings, so after dinner you're all getting pierced!”

“Does it really bleed? Because if it does I might puke.” Usopp wrinkled his nose. 

Zoro snorted, “Yeah, the higher up they go the worse it is. And cartilage piercings pop.”

Usopp muffled an exagerated dry heave into his shoulder. 

“Enough– come on, not at the table!” Sanji shook his head and started serving the pasta. “You're not going to find any pearls. I'm telling you. I've cleaned, shucked, and cooked millions of these things and I've never found one.”

Usopp grinned, oh so innocently. “You willing to bet on that?”

“If I find even one, Nami can pierce my ears too. How's that.” He sat heavily and straightened his apron. 

Luffy picked up two oysters and slurped them down noisily. 

Everything was mostly quiet for five minutes, save Luffy slurping, and Nami commenting on how creamy the uni was. 

Then Zoro grunted and put a hand to his mouth. 

Sanji's eyes widened. “No. There's no way!”

Luffy laughed excitedly and made grabby hands when Zoro produced the first pearl. A misshapen looking thing roughly the size of a pea. “It looks like a chicken leg!! This one's mine!” He emptied his wine glass and dropped the pearl in. Staring at it dreamily. “Okay if we find any more, put them here!” He sat the glass down in the center of the table. 

Nami chuckled darkly and eyed Sanji with borderline malicious intent. “Guess you're my first victim!”