Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Present Day

Reggie Smith found himself in a small shop outside of Camden, picking up his weekly groceries, when he felt it. A sharp, stinging pain through his arm, down to his hand. Only, there wasn’t a hand to feel pain, as he had found himself in the hospital exactly ten years prior with no memory and missing a limb, as well as the skin on almost all of his left arm. ‘A severe traumatic event’ the doctors had said as an explanation of what happened and why his memory was gone. The doctors predicted some kind of construction accident, what with the scars now running from Reggie’s throat to his feet, as though he was caught in a machine of some sort. After months of reconstruction, and skin grafts, Reggie bore the scars of a past he couldn’t remember, but physically there was no reason for him to not move on with his life.

The only memories he could find were of a boy, looking so much like a mirror image of himself, calling him Reggie. When Reggie told the hospital staff this, the police in the area were notified and a flag was put up on any missing persons with the name Reggie, Reginald, or Reg. Unfortunately, after ten years of waiting, Reggie assumed he was never reported missing. That he was not missed.

The sharp pain started again and Reggie had to grab hold of his arm, rubbing the tendons slowly to hopefully release some of the muscle strain he assumed was happening. When he removed his hand from his arm, left behind was a faint gray outline of a set of antlers, as though a tattoo had been laser removed from his skin. Reggie looked down at the blur and underneath the antlers were a set of letters, initials likely, that spelled JFP.

As Reggie had spent the last ten years watching the healing of his skin graft, relearning to use his muscles as well as his prosthetic, Reggie was aware of the antlers and the initials on his arm, and assumed that the person who donated their skin to him had been a hunter of some sort. The problem? Up until five minutes ago, the mark on his arm had been a faint gold. As Reggie continued to stare incredulously at his arm, the lines appeared darker and darker until they looked like a freshly healed black tattoo. A feeling of static ran under his skin, making the hairs on his neck stand on end.

——————————————————————

In a small flat in South London, James Potter felt a pain run through his shoulder. Summoning a hand mirror, James watched as his previously gold soul mark turned gray, then black. Placing his fingers over the black constellation, James gasped.

Regulus.

Chapter Text

Present Day

“So what you’re telling me is after ten years, your mark went BACK to black? May I have a look again?” James sighed but waved his wand, unbuttoning his shirt for the eighth time since arriving at St Mungos. It appeared they’d never had a case of a soulmark changing color after such a long time.

 “Once,” the young healer added, “we had a case of spell damage. Our patient died for four minutes, and during that time his wife’s soulmark turned gold, but as soon as he came back to us her mark returned to its original shade. Your case is unprecedented, especially after this long. I may have to consult with the Americans over this one. They always seem to have the most unusual cases occurring over there.” 

James just nodded, hoping for answers. He hadn’t told Sirius about the mark changing, not wanting to give him hope where there might not be any. Instead James donned a turtleneck sweater in June, said he had a routine check up, and apparated away from their loft, hoping to have an answer when he returned. As it stood, James was not likely to have answers for a while. The healer was muttering under her breath, appearing to have several conflicting theories, but none of which were substantial enough to voice aloud. Suddenly the witch froze with a smile on her face, and James sat up straighter. 

“Mr Potter, have you mastered the Patronus Charm?” James waved his wand, bringing forth the ghostly blue stag. The witch’s grin grew as she explained her theory to James. 

—————————————————————-

Reggie had, at this point, returned to the room he rented above the local library where he worked. Living in a smaller town, most people were aware of the accident Reggie had experienced and took pity on the young man. One of those people being Ms Primpett, the older woman in charge of both the library and bookstore in town. As soon as she heard that there was a young boy with no family in need of help, she offered up her spare room and a job sorting and reshelving books. Reggie didn’t want anyone’s pity, but he needed a way to survive and took it. After ten years, Reggie was managing the library entirely and Ms Primpett had stepped back to just run the bookstore. 

Reggie was making some pasta at the stove when the faint blue light appeared in his flat. Reggie stared, eyes wide, as the glowing stag stood before him. His heart pounded in his chest as he stood frozen as though in a stand off, a warmth radiating in the room. Then, the stag began to speak. 

“Regulus, if this reaches you, please touch Prongs. I’ve placed a tracking spell on him. He’ll help me find you baby. I love you.” 

Reggie stared at where the ghost deer was standing and assumed that its name was Prongs. And that this person had sent the ghost deer knew Reggie. No, knew Regulus. That was his name. Regulus. Cautiously, Reggie reached over the counter and grabbed a knife from the block by the stove and, very carefully, placed his fingers in the stags head, feeling them slip through. All at once a memory flashed before him of a silver-blue dog playing with the deer and a feeling of pure joy. ‘I think his name was Padfoot’ Reggie thought. 

After a moment, the stag bowed low and disappeared. Regulus felt that static feeling in his skin that he’d felt earlier that day, and a moment later a crack sounded and a man appeared before him, holding the arm of a smaller woman who was wearing what appeared to be a lime green uniform of some sort. The man moved to approach but Reggie held up the knife, frightened and confused. 

Reggie saw the hurt flash across the man’s face, while the woman next to him said something to him, with regulus only catching the words memory and hand. Reggie moved his arm with the prosthetic hand behind his back self-consciously.

Reggie took a moment to examine the man standing in front of him. He was taller than Reggie, with dark skin that almost had a golden glow to it. He appeared to be close to Reggie’s age, with dark eyes that were likely a brown shade but from the distance Reggie was keeping, he couldn’t be sure. He had a pair of simple gold wire frame glasses on and was wearing a button up maroon turtleneck sweater, despite it being 26 degrees out and June. Reggie wasn’t scared of the man, and he felt something in his chest tighten as though he was supposed to know him. Eventually, Reggie spoke. 

“What the hell is going on?” 

Chapter Text

Present Day

The man looked to the woman next to him and after she nodded, he stepped forward. 

“I’m James. I’m your… I was your boyfriend. I thought you died. Somewhere on your body should be a mark of some sort, with the initials JFP. That’s for me, James Fleamont Potter. I want to explain everything, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. But Reg, we need to know, do you remember anything?”

Regulus began to shake his head but stopped, frowning. 

“I remembered a boy saying my name. Reggie. A boy with black hair, that looked like me. My brother, I think. And I remember a dog, like the stag that brought you here. And… Sometimes I remember drowning. But that might just be from the accident.”

Regulus shrugged, looking between the man, James, and the woman next to him. 

“Sirius, that’s your brother. He called you Reggie. No one else was allowed to. Strictly Regulus, except for me. I called you Reg. And priya which means-“

“Love. It means love right? As soon as you said it I remembered hearing you say it. I just don’t know how I remembered it, I haven’t remembered anything for ten years.” James looked over to the woman with him and she stepped forward.

“Regulus, my name is Anise Patil. I am a… Medical professional at a hospital called St. Mungos. Have you ever found yourself with strange things happening around you? Maybe items floating to you when you need them, food staying warm much longer than should be possible, maybe even glass shattering when you’re angry?”

Regulus shook his head. “Nothing like that no, but I have been having these weird static feelings under my skin all day. Honestly since the mark on my arm turned black. Could that be important?”

Anise grabbed a stick from her pocket and Regulus took a step back.

“Oh I’m so sorry Regulus, this is a wand. I just want to check and see if I can find any latent magic in your system. It won't hurt one bit, but you can keep holding that knife if you need to, I understand.” Regulus looked down, having forgotten about the knife he was still wielding. Regulus dropped it immediately and took a seat at his table. 

“Whatever you need to do to help me figure out who I am.”

Anise waved her wand in an intricate circular pattern, and stopped when a series of red, green, blue, and gold lights lit up over his body. As she inspected the lights, Regulus looked back up at James and saw he was looking at Regulus with tears in his eyes and Regulus immediately ran his fingers over his forearm where the antlers were. James followed the movement and took a cautious step forward. 

“Is that… can I see? I’ll show you mine if you’d like.” James asked, reaching up towards his shoulder. 

“Haven’t you seen it already? Before I mean?” Regulus was unaware how all of these soulmark things work, but he assumed that his boyfriend would have seen it at some point. Oh my god James has probably seen me naked, Regulus thought, immediately blushing. 

“Oh, uh, no. Actually, you hadn’t gotten yours yet when I last saw you. I had mine of course, but I’m older than you. We, wizards, get them when we come of age, which in the wizarding world is seventeen. And you… You died six months after your birthday. Or, I guess you disappeared, six months after your birthday.” James was rubbing his neck nervously and Regulus couldn’t help but ask. 

“So I didn’t see you for over six months before my accident? How did that work?” Regulus wasn’t the type of person to get into relationships easily, and in the last ten years he’d only dated a handful of times, but he certainly couldn’t imagine dating someone and being away from them for half of a year. 

“We had had an argument, a stupid argument, the week before your birthday. You were going to do something dangerous and I didn’t want you to do it. There was a war… It wasn’t good Reg. We were fighting every day, Sirius and Remus weren’t living together… We couldn’t come to an agreement and one night after a bad fight I went for a walk to cool off and when I got back, you were gone. I looked for you for weeks, but Dumbledore… He’s like the leader of our side of the war, you know? And he told me you’d went undercover with the other side, to help stop the war. To end things before they got too bad. There was a prophecy, and we knew it wasn’t going to be safe for much longer. And then six months later, you were gone and the war was over and Voldemort was destroyed. And Dumbledore told us you saved everyone, you risked your life to end things, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. I still can’t believe I left that night. I can’t believe I let you get away from me. I knew you were my soulmate, I saw the mark on my shoulder, but you didn’t have that to remind you. You weren’t even seventeen yet, and I just let you down. I’m so sorry priya.” James was crying, holding his hands together, twisting his fingers in a painful manner until they were more red than brown. Regulus instinctively reached over and grabbed James’ hands in his own hand and gently setting his prosthetic hand on top.

“I wish I had answers, for everything that I did. I don’t remember what happened, I don’t remember any war. I do know that when I see you hurting, all I want is to stop it. And I think that’s something from before. And I think this,” Regulus said, pulling up his sleeve slowly, revealing the now jet black outline of a set of antlers and the bold print of James’ initials, “is a sign that we are supposed to have an after too. I have went ten years thinking I lost my hand in a foolish accident, and you’ve just told me I saved lives. I thought no one cared enough to look for me, and you’re telling me you thought I was dead. My brother thought I was dead. This is a lot, and I’m overwhelmed, but I’m also relieved. I want to know everything. I want do do anything I can to come back to that life.” 

James and Regulus stared at each other, chestnut eyes meeting gray, until a soft cough pulled them apart. Anise was staring at the lights surrounding Regulus, with her fingers lightly running through a faint gold thread running from Regulus’ heart to his head. 

“Well Regulus, I have a few theories for what is going on, and if you’ll come back with me to St Mungo’s, I think we can get some answers for the two of you.” Anise said, smiling and gently setting the chord of light free, watching it flicker in and out of existence. Regulus felt a dull thrum of static as the light got brighter, and a numbness when it dulled. 

“What is that, Ms Patil? That light?” Regulus asked, running his fingers over the light the way he’d seen Anise do moments before.

“That, Mr. Black, is your magic.” 

Chapter Text

Ten and a half years ago

Regulus Black was not afraid of many things. He could probably name his fears on one hand. Losing his brother, losing his friends, losing James, being burned alive, and inevitably getting the Mark. What he was not afraid of, was drowning. Regulus was a strong swimmer, having spent many summers alone at the family lake house while Sirius, the Heir to the most Noble House of Black, was introduced to all the important members of society while being paraded around the country.

On most occasions Regulus was left alone at the lake house. Well, not entirely alone. Regulus always had Kreacher. Kreacher, to pull him out of the lake if he stayed under too long. Kreacher, to make him food when Regulus would get hungry. Kreacher, to raise him. Sirius was the heir. Regulus was the spare, and spares aren’t to be seen or heard unless necessary. So Regulus chose to spend his time with an ornery house elf, who sometimes felt more like a father than Orion ever could. 

When Regulus was approaching his seventeenth birthday, the Dark Lord requested a house elf to help him with a private task and Regulus refused to allow Kreacher to help. Unfortunately, Orion Black overruled his judgement. Kreacher swore to return to Regulus, no matter what. Regulus did not expect Kreacher to return half dead, with eyes a ghostly shade of silver. As Regulus brought Kreacher back from the brink of death, he told Regulus what happened. Kreacher spoke of a potion that could only be drunk, never vanished. Kreacher let Regulus know, in no uncertain terms, that to enter this cave again would be an almost certain death. Kreacher told Regulus of the dark energy surrounding the necklace that was placed in the potion. Regulus recognized the energy attached to the necklace as dark magic, binding the Dark Lord's soul to an object for immortality. To return to the cave might mean certain death for Regulus, but to allow the necklace to exist would mean certain death for the rest of the Wizarding World.

Regulus had been working with Dumbledore since he was first approached by Lucius Malfoy to begin his immersion into the Death Eaters. Upon meeting with Dumbledore they had come up with a plan; Regulus would remain in the House of Black, and return any information to Dumbledore. In exchange, Dumbledore would work on creating a safe house for Regulus to escape to if he was forced to be Marked. While James and Sirius were aware of this situation, neither was happy that Regulus would be living in a house full of Death Eaters.

When Regulus sent Dumbledore an owl requesting a meeting, he knew what would have to happen. Horcruxes are very dark magic, to the point where even the darkest wizards have not attempted to create them. Regulus was one of the few who had read about them in the ancient texts that remained in the House of Black library. Dumbledore wouldn't let just anyone be informed of how to destroy the locket. Regulus knew he would have to be the one to enter the cave, and that he would likely not return. And three hours later, as he left the Headmasters office, Regulus had his task.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This isn’t your decision Potter. I didn’t come here to ask permission, I came to let you know that I AM leaving in two weeks on a mission. I WILL NOT be telling you where I am going and only Dumbledore will be aware of what I am doing. I am not your offspring, I am not a child. I am your boyfriend. If you can’t respect that, then I don't know what we are doing!” Regulus was shouting at this point, spitting his words out like venom. James, who was normally able to remain calm in any situation, began screaming right back.

“I don’t know what we are doing either! You come in here, telling me you are going away on a mission, talking about me needing to take care of Sirius like you WONT BE AROUND TO DO THAT. What kind of boyfriend goes on a suicide mission?? What kind of person would leave their SOULMATE?” James was crying, tears sliding down his face, into the crevice of his throat. Regulus was frozen in place. He had never heard James yell back.

“You haven’t really given me a reason to stay now, have you?” Regulus spoke quietly, but the words echoed around the silent room. James looked at Regulus silently for a few moments, searching his face for a sign of something. Regret, maybe? No matter what it was, he didn’t seem to find it.

“Okay, Reg. Maybe you’re just looking for another person to leave you. No worries, I don't need you to ask me twice.” And with that James Potter grabbed his bag and his shoes and walked out his door, leaving Regulus behind. In no time, Regulus had summoned all of his belongings to his school chest and walked out the door for the last time.

On the eve of Regulus’ seventeenth birthday, he climbed to the roof of Grimmauld Place to talk to Sirius in the only way he could. And as the clock rang out over the city, Regulus felt a cool tingle over his arm. Regulus refused to look, not wanting to see the initials he knew would be there. In the morning it wouldn’t matter anyways. 

——————————————————————-

Regulus Black found himself entering the cave to find the necklace that, when destroyed, would end the war. In his pocket Regulus had a small vial of basilisk venom, the only known substance strong enough to break the Horcrux. Regulus took a moment to turn and face Kreacher. 

“If I can’t do it, I need you to destroy the necklace for me. Immediately, Kreacher. Before helping me, before we leave this cave. We have to make sure it’s done. This vial has enough for one shot, that’s all we have. As soon as you can, pour it over the stone. That’s an order Kreacher, okay? And… If I am not able to make it, I need you to let Albus Dumbledore know I destroyed it. You have to. If I do make it out… You can’t take me home Kreacher. They’ll be looking for us. You need to go to Hogwarts, hide in the kitchens if you must. And I need you to take me to some place where no one knows me. A muggle town. I need you to promise me.” The house elf looked like he wanted to object, but he was forced to agree, taking the vial in his trembling hands. 

Regulus pulled a small flask from his pocket and approached the stone basin where he knew the milky white potion floated over the green and gold necklace he was there for. Dunking the flask into the basin, Regulus grimaced at Kreacher and took his first drink of many. Regulus assumed the pain would be physical, similar to the curses thrown at him when he was a child, but he wasn’t let off that easily. Regulus felt the flames of fire licking his ankles, a reminder of every time his cousin Bellatrix would leviosa him too close to the bonfires at yule. Regulus heard the sounds of Sirius screaming for help, screaming for someone to stop his suffering as their mother cut the skin from his bones, only to regrow it again once more. Regulus saw himself destroying the locket that he was so desperately trying to reach, only to find it wasn’t the end, that there were more Horcruxes to be destroyed. Regulus felt his heart break as he heard James screaming that he’d never be able to forgive him.

This kind of torture was a form Regulus wasn’t prepared for and as the last drop of potion left the basin he was drinking from, Regulus was prepared to die. Kreacher was beside himself, sobbing as he placed the necklace on the ground in front of him, pouring the venom onto the stone as Regulus had instructed. If he hadn't been, maybe he would have seen Regulus crawling toward the waters edge, desperate for just one drink.

Regulus Black thought that maybe he should’ve been more afraid of drowning. As he gulped down mouthfuls of ice cold water he hoped for a glimpse of the sun. As flimsy nails dug into his thighs and his arms, slowly trying to pull him down, Regulus thought of James’ hands pulling him up. Regulus managed to keep his head above the water for a few more seconds, kicking and screaming for help. 

“KREACHER!! PLEASE DON’T LET ME DIE LIKE THIS!!!!” Regulus felt Kreacher's bony fingers slide between his and then a small tug from behind his navel. As he felt his body being pulled through space, Regulus felt an unbearable searing pain from his wrist as his muscles and joints were torn from his body. The only thought on Regulus’ mind was of the little black antlers on his mangled forearm slowly turning gold, and how he knew James would be the first to know he was dead.

Chapter Text

James and Anise were prepared to travel back to London the way they came, simply popping out of Regulus’ living room and into the hospital that Anise worked at but Regulus drew the line at teleportation.

After packing a few belongings into a small duffel bag and letting his boss and landlord, Ms Primpett, know that he would be taking some time off for personal reasons, Regulus led James to the bus stop by the library.

Anise had chosen to head to St Mungos ahead of Regulus and James to get a room set up for the former. Regulus had taken the bus into London before and knew the trip would be about thirty minutes long. James mentioned that he would take the bus often on bar nights, especially when his friend group ventures out into Muggle London. 

“Is ‘muggle’ just a term for non-magic? And how is there two parts of London, one muggle and one magical? Is it like an alternate dimension?” Regulus looked deep in thought as he asked his question. James smiled softly to himself. 

“That’s actually a good question. It’s actually just a well placed notice-me-not charm embedded into the land. It’s been there for as long as Diagon Alley has existed and I’m assuming as long as the Statue of Secrecy is in place. Basically muggles walk by and can’t see how to get in, they think that there are just a bunch of dilapidated buildings, but really it’s a… say 10 kilometers? It’s like a 10 kilometer square where almost the entire wizarding population of Britain lives. There are a few more, um, affluent people, who live out on the land with their own wards, or boundaries? But most wizards choose to live together in the city.” James had blushed when he’d mentioned ‘affluent’ people, leading Regulus to believe the man was likely well off as far as wizards were concerned at least. 

“Okay… I might need a more in depth explanation at a later point but for now let's just not mention wizards or magic and get on the bus,” Regulus said, rubbing his right temple with his right hand. James leaned over and grabbed Regulus’ duffle bag off of the ground at his feet and got on the bus, with Regulus following right behind him. The bus was rather empty like usual, only running for the few who worked in the city to get back home. Still, Regulus found himself sitting across from where James was, his boots lightly brushing James’ as the bus bounced over a pothole or two. They sat in silence for a little while, both men observing the other.

James reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a gold chain, tarnished as though it had been damaged at some point in time, with a small gold pendant attached and what appeared to be an S made out of peridot. Regulus watched as James ran his thumb over each of the stones, pressing hard enough to make small indents in his skin. Upon closer inspection, Regulus was able to see that what he thought was an S was actually a snake, with two tiny black diamonds for eyes and a silver forked tongue. The actual metal itself had turned a dark brown in some spots.

“That’s beautiful, that necklace,” Regulus said, drawing James’ eyes up until they met his. James’ cheeks flushed and he quickly returned the necklace to his pocket.

“I’m actually… I’m not supposed to have that, if I'm being honest. I actually nicked it. The war I was talking about earlier, this was the reason you left. You died to destroy this and I’ve been carrying it around ever since. It used to belong to a really important man a long time ago, and then not so long ago a horrible man turned it into something…. Something evil, but just because something was bad once, it doesn't mean it can't be good again, right? So I've been slowly mending it, replacing the stones that were damaged. Next I'll be fixing the gold, hopefully, and then I think I'll be done. It’s been a long process but I think I needed to do it. I mean, you died for it, I couldn't let it just end up in a case somewhere with a bunch of other old relics that were destroyed.” 

James’ thumb pressed so hard down on the final stone that it broke skin, a little drop of blood slipping onto the stone, staining the gold a maroon, while the green stones shined brightly. Regulus moved forward to pull his thumb away from the necklace but James flinched back, and Regulus noticed the tears that had been pouring down his cheeks without either of them noticing.

“You died, Regulus,” James whispered. “You died and all I had left of you was this evil necklace. You died.” James was sobbing now, into his hands that were still holding the necklace. Regulus jumped up and moved to the seat next to James, pulling James’ hands into his, the cold plastic of his left hand a reminder of everything Regulus had been through while James was mourning him.

“I didn’t die, Jamie. I’m right here. And we’ll get this all figured out and then… I don't know what we’ll do but you won’t be alone again okay?” James was quiet, staring at their intertwined hands. Regulus raised his right hand to lift James’ chin up. James inhaled slightly, his eyes falling from Regulus’ own down to his lips and back up again. Regulus froze, his heart racing. As James lifted his hand to push a curl of Regulus’ hair behind his ear, Regulus felt himself being drawn into the other man's lips. 

As Regulus closed his eyes and felt James’ breath against his lips, the bus roughly stopped, throwing both men forward and out of their seats.

“Sorry about that! Brakes need replacing something fierce I'm afraid! But here you are, London!” The woman driving the bus smiled, unaware of the moment she accidentally interrupted. James and Regulus glanced at each other and then descended the steps of the bus and into the city where they would hopefully find some answers.

Chapter Text

Regulus took a deep breath before entering the hospital, not certain if wizarding hospitals and normal hospitals both had that antiseptic smell in the air. Regulus was obviously no stranger to hospitals, but he did have a strong distaste for them after the months he'd spent bedridden after his accident. Not an accident, Regulus reminded himself as he felt the door close behind him. James grabbed his hand and pulled him forward, stopping just in front of a rounded desk with an empty chair behind it. James turned around and rested his back against the desk, waiting for the receptionist to return to check them in.

“We’ve got Peter on the front desk today, best secret keeper you’ll ever find. He’s actually my mate, Pete, known him since we were toddlers. He’s probably in the kitchen making a snack or something, I’m sure he’ll… Fuck,” James stopped, running his hand over his face in exasperation as the door behind the desk opened, revealing a blonde woman about their age. Her hair was perfectly styled in waves that fell effortlessly around her shoulders and was wearing a set of puke green robes that she looked disgusted at as she walked through the door, but upon glancing up and seeing the boys waiting in front of her, her expression shifted to one of excitement.

“James Potter! What are you doing here? Are you here to visit Effie? She just left for lunch but I can let her know when she gets back?” Moyra was running her hand down James’ arm and Regulus could feel the discomfort coming off of James in waves, as well as a twinge in his own stomach at the thought of someone else touching James, or of James coming to visit a fellow hospital employee named Effie .

“Hi Moyra. I thought Peter was on shift today?” James was polite, but even Regulus could tell James was actively trying to be as minimal with his words as necessary. The girl, Moyra, appeared to not be phased.

“Ugh, Peter. He was supposed to be here today but apparently that girlfriend of his, Olivia, had a pregnancy scare so he requested to leave early and I had to come in, didn’t even have time to summon my robes so I have to wear these ghastly things. She wasn't even pregnant so I don't see why he had to leave. Oh,” Moyra said, throwing her hand over her mouth. “But you didn't hear that from me, okay?” James sighed in annoyance and Regulus took this as a moment to step forward.

“We’re actually here for me. I have an appointment with Anise Patil. I’m not sure what time. The appointment will be for Regulus Smith. Or.. Regulus Black maybe?” Regulus spoke directly to Moyra but as soon as he said his name James repeated the motion of rubbing his face, and by this point the boy's normally tan skin was taking on a reddish tone from how often he'd been rubbing it. Moyra had started writing a memo with the information and paused at Regulus’ name. She looked up with her eyes widening as she took in his appearance.

“You can't be, Regulus Black is dead. Everyone knows that. But… You do look an awful lot like his brother…” James could see the wheels turning in Moyra’s brain and stopped her before she could get the wrong idea, which, to be frank, were how most of her ideas were.

“Moyra, here’s the deal. No one can know he’s here. No one can know he’s alive. This is a secret , and I think we both know by now how secrets usually go when you’re involved, right? Me and Lily? Sirius and Remus? Merlin, Pomfrey and McGonagall? I can't put him at risk and I’m not going to let a bunch of strangers overwhelm him before I even get a chance to tell his brother that he's alive, so rather than curse your lips off and end up in a cell for the night, I’m going to beg you to just… Do your job and keep your mouth shut alright? At least until I get a chance to tell Sirius and my mother?” Regulus had yet to see James agitated and rude before, and he would be lying if he said it didn't make his cheeks flush knowing this behavior was for him. Moyra looked like she'd been slapped, but recovered quickly, bending down to finish the memo she’d started and waved her wand, sending the little orange post it note through the air. Seconds after it flew up the stairs, a lime green note appeared on the desk.
“Dr Patil is ready for you on the third floor. Welcome to St. Mungo's and may you heal with haste.” Moyra turned around and stayed with her back turned until James and Regulus turned to the elevators.

“Sorry about that Reg, Moyra has been a known blabber mouth. She has outed many of my friends including our teachers. She’s strong with a wand but we couldn't use her in the war because she genuinely wouldn't have been able to keep her mouth shut. I had us come in through the main entrance because Pete wouldn't have been a worry, but Moyra… She is the kind of person to spill a secret the minute your back is turned. But no worries,” James said with a smile, “I think I got through to her.” Regulus was not so sure, but he didn't tell James that. He just wanted to get to his appointment.

Once the two boys made it to the third floor, James grabbed Regulus’ hand and squeezed it. James looked like he wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Anise walking over to them, wearing a set of long lime green robes that matched her note perfectly.

“Alright boys? Let's take a peek inside that brain of yours Mr. Black.” Regulus entered the exam room she had prepared and was directed to undress and put on a long blue robe while Anise and James waited in the hall, Regulus struggled like he usually did when it came to dressing and undressing with only one hand. Furthermore, Anise had requested he leave his prosthetic to the side so that she could run a diagnostic on where his injury had occurred.

Finally, after what felt like ages, Regulus was ready for Anise to come back in the room, and could feel the nerves wracking over his body at the thought of someone seeing the long scars running over what remained of his forearm, an embarrassment left over from years of teasing by the kids at the library, assuming the scars were from a suicide attempt.

Regulus shouted for James and Anise to come in and embarrassingly hid his arm under the blanket on the bed. James didn’t even notice, just reached out and held Regulus’ right hand in his own and turned to watch Anise. For the first hour, most of what Anise had done was repeating the diagnostic spells she had already done. The same lights lit up inside of Regulus, with his magical core fluttering in and out just as it had previously. Then she performed a standard physical evaluation, checking his temperature and his lymph nodes like Regulus was used to having his own doctor do yearly. 

James politely turned around when the exam got more intimate, and chose not to remark when Regulus answered ‘yes’ to Anise’s question about if he was sexually active, although Regulus could see James’ ears flush at the response. Anise wrote the answer down on the pad she had been keeping her notes in when a loud knock disrupted them. At the door was a fellow nurse in a similar green gown, and after a moment of discussion, Anise said she would return soon but had to deal with an emergency, leaving James and Regulus alone. 

Regulus had only known of James’ existence for a couple of days, but in those days he had completely forgotten that he had in fact, just started seeing one of the few men in town that came to the library regularly. Regulus hadn’t planned on making it anything serious, but the thought struck him just the same. 

“James, what about you?” Regulus asked without thinking. His eyes got wide and he immediately began to retract his question.

“Ah fuck no, don’t answer that. You don't have to answer that I just, fuck I was just wondering and my mouth got ahead of me.”

“Reg, i don't even… What was the question?” Regulus blushed aggressively and looked at the ceiling.

“I wanted to know… If you were, I don't know, seeing anyone?” James let out a small laugh and then looked over at Regulus by accident for the first time since Regulus was asked to disrobe. James’ eyes widened and his pupils darkened at the sight of a mostly naked Regulus. He had his briefs on, as that portion of the test had been completed, but James hadn't seen his soulmate this intimately since they were both still in school. 

Regulus met James’ eyes with his own and smirked at how he seemed to be affecting the other boy. James ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his neck before allowing his eyes to travel down Regulus’ body, focusing not on the scars that he'd never seen before, but the curves and edges from his memories.

“See something you like, Jamie? I’d say you're undressing me with your eyes, but i'm not wearing much to undress,” Regulus said with a glance downward.

“More than I’d like, priya . My patience is wearing thin and all I want to do is get you out of here.” James was slowly walking towards Regulus, careful to keep some distance between the two of them. Regulus took two steps forward until he could feel the heat of James’ skin through James’ shirt.

“Well this is clearly unfair Jamie. You’ve already seen me naked before, where I've never even seen you shirtless. I’m thinking we need to correct that, what do you say?” Regulus slid his hand around the back of James’ neck and pulled the collar of his shirt up and over his head, throwing the shirt on the pile of Regulus’ own clothing. This may have been a mistake, Regulus thought, because James was clearly a very fit man.

Regulus ran his hand down from James’ neck, over his chest and down his stomach, over the little patch of dark brown hair that led below his belt. Just to the side of James’ belly button were the tops of a set of antlers, clearly a tattoo that extended well beyond where Regulus would be able to see without removing the rest of james’ clothing. Regulus felt as though he was possessed, his hands moving on their own as he pulled the zipper on James’ pants down slowly and felt his own cock harden at the thought of wrapping his fingers around James’.

James leaned forward and placed his hand on Regulus’ jaw, pulling his chin upward until their eyes were locked once more.

“Regulus, I need you to know that if we do this, there is no going back for me. I won't do this if you’re not completely sure this is what you want. I need you to know if we start this now I'm not going to stop. You’re it for me, priya.”

Regulus slipped his hand behind James’ neck and pulled their lips together, James’ mouth opening in a sigh at the feeling. Regulus used that moment to slide his tongue over James’ and Regulus could feel the other man's cock straining against his jeans. Regulus slid his hand down and began pulling James’ jeans down until they were around his ankles, sinking to his knees in the process.

Regulus looked up from where he was sitting in front of James and moved his lips over his cock, still restrained by his underwear. Regulus mouthed over the tip through his briefs and felt a wet spot form from the precum dripping from James’ cock and James let out a groan, sending a rush of heat straight to Regulus’ cock.

“Fuck, I want you much. Please, baby.” Regulus needed no further confirmation and pulled James’ briefs down, freeing his cock. Not even a second passed before Regulus had the tip of James' cock in his mouth, his tongue licking over the slit and swallowing the precum that had leaked out. Regulus felt his own cock begging to be touched, but at that moment Regulus only cared about the noises he was pulling from James’ throat with every swipe of his tongue. Every moan and sigh made Regulus’ heart speed up, and Regulus found himself panting in need when he felt James buck his hips forward, desperate for his mouth.

“More priya , baby, more. Fuck, you feel so good, please Regulus .” James begged, running his hand over the top of Regulus’ head, tangling his hand in his curls. Regulus felt his own briefs sticking to his cock and was sure he was going to cum just from the way James said his name. Regulus took James in his hand and twisted his hand slightly as he pumped back and forth before sliding James’ cock as far down his throat as he could take him, leaving him free to bring his own hand down to his cock, thrusting in sync with James. When he pulled at Regulus' hair, he knew they were both so close.

“Baby, I’m gonna…” But Regulus pushed his head further forward, until his nose was flush with James' soft brown curls and Regulus’ head was surrounded by those tattooed antlers he still had yet to get a good look at. In that moment James looked down at the sight below him and when his eyes met Regulus’, James broke and came, Regulus swallowing every drop as he himself came on the floor in between his knees and James’ feet. When Regulus pulled his head back and looked back up at James, he wiped his thumb over his own cock and stood up, slipping his finger unto James’ tongue. James sucked on Regulus’ thumb lightly, his teeth grazing the pad just hard enough for a shiver to run down Regulus' spine.

“Oh baby you even taste the same.” Regulus smiled and kissed James before looking around the room for paper towels but finding nothing.

“Uh, James? Not to ruin the moment but I definitely need to find something to clean up this mess with before Anise comes back.” Regulus looked nervously at the bedspread but wasn't really wanting to risk having to spend the night in a bed with dried cum on it, if she found something worth having him stay for.

“Ah right, I've got that no worries love. Scourgify.” James waved his wand over the floor and themselves and all of the sweat and bodily fluids disappeared.

“Wow,” Regulus remarked, “They really have a spell for everything huh?” James laughed and leaned over to whisper in Regulus ear.

“Baby that isn't even the spell we used the most, but I can show you that one later if you’d like.”

Regulus’ mind wandered to exactly what James could have been talking about, and as he pulled his briefs back up a knock sounded on the door.

“I’m back boys, sorry that I took so long!” Anise said. Regulus glanced over to where James was leaning against the wall, smiling as unsubtle as possible.

“It’s okay, Anise. Everything alright?” Regulus asked.

“Actually boys, I’m sorry. I don't know how, but someone told-” Anise was interrupted by the sound of two people breaking through the door to the exam room. One, a tall older Hispanic woman with dark brown hair that looked extremely similar to- and annoyed at- James, and a shorter man that looked eerily familiar to Regulus, with the same curly black hair and the same stormy eyes. Both intruders froze when their eyes found Regulus, and the man rushed forward, causing Regulus to scurry back a step before being squeezed aggressively and lifted off of the ground.

“How the fuck are you here, Reggie?? I thought you died ! I mourned you! And you’re here ??” The man sat Regulus back down before turning around and pointing his wand at James.

“And you! You thought I wouldn’t find out that you knew my brother was alive? How long have you known?? Or was this some big elaborate scheme and he was never gone?” James shook his head but it was no use. The man lifted his wand and Regulus moved immediately, grabbing James' wand and waving it, putting up a shield in front of James.

“Holy shit.” Regulus dropped the wand like it was burning him and then turned to Anise. “Did I do that? I thought…. Can you do that spell again?” Regulus pointed to his chest where the diagnostic spell showed his magical core. Anise nodded and waved her wand. Regulus’ magical core appeared to be the same fluttering light, only this time a bright yellow light seemed to join it, strengthening it. Anise looked confused, but just proceeded to make a note in her notepad.

“All I did was think about protecting James, and then that wall appeared. I thought spells were words?” Regulus was looking at Anise and James, while the two intruders seemed to have calmed down a bit and were standing in the corner. The woman seemed not to be angry, but concerned, whereas the man seemed to be confused. Regulus thought he recognized the man, but wasn't sure. He did feel a strong sense of annoyance, but that could just have been from being almost completely naked in a room of strangers. 

“Well as much fun as whatever this is has been, can someone explain what's going on and maybe give me a hand? Like, my actual hand that is behind the crazy man who looks like he wants to kill me?” Regulus said all of this in a joking manner, but he was definitely feeling naked without his arm. James jumped off the counter he was leaning on and brought Regulus his prosthetic as well as his clothes. Everyone turned their backs as Regulus got dressed, which he appreciated, but as he was sliding his shoes on, the door opened again and Moyra walked in.

“James! I did what you said, I didn't tell anyone about Regulus! I mean, I did tell Effie when she got back from lunch that you were here, so I had to mention Regulus of course, and she had been out to lunch with Sirius, what luck! So obviously I sent them upstairs, that way they’d have a chance to see Regulus! Just like you wanted! Now he gets to see his brother before anyone else finds out!” Moyra looked so proud of herself and James looked like he wanted to light her on fire. Regulus reached over and plucked James' wand from his hand and thought really hard about silencing Moyra. When Regulus waved the wand, Moyra’s mouth disappeared, leaving just an empty space below her nose. Regulus returned the wand to James, who looked both impressed and stunned.

“Fucking Moyra Schitt, am I right?” Sirius, Regulus’ brother, said, breaking the silence.

“Fucking Moyra.” Regulus agreed.

Chapter Text

After the appointment, with the promise to come back in a week to check his magical core again, Regulus, James, and Sirius bid a goodbye to Anise and Effie. Effie was luckily a lot more understanding about Regulus needing his space, as she had always had a soft spot for the boy, or so James said. Anise warned Regulus that if he felt that strange tingling sensation under his skin again that he should have James floo call her immediately. He agreed and the trio made a trip down to the cadet to pick up some sandwiches for James and Regulus before leaving. 

James and Sirius, normally very talkative and playful, were both unbelievably quiet. Regulus was not aware of this change, but he did notice James looking a little worse for wear after their meeting. Where he had been easily able to keep up with Regulus’ speedwalking, he was now almost out of breath. Regulus, on the other hand, hadn’t ever remembered feeling this strong. His skin was buzzing and he felt powerful, which wasn’t common for him. 

“James, are you alright? You don’t look great.” James turned his head to see the look of concern etched on Regulus' face and then glanced at Sirius who also seemed to mirror his brothers’ expression. 

“Yeah Reg, I’m fine. I just think I might have overdone it today. I think we might actually need to head to my place, if it’s alright. I might need to get some sleep.” James could feel his eyes weighing down with exhaustion and knew he’d likely need to floo to his place instead of apparate if he wanted to be safe.

“No worries Prongs, I can take Reggie off your hands for a little while. Catch up, you know? You don’t mind, do you Regulus?” Regulus did indeed mind, as he still wasn't certain that his brother would give him back to James once he had him in his grasp again, but looking at James it was obvious he needed a chance to sleep. Regulus pulled James outside of the hospital assured him that he’d be fine. James seemed to want to fight him on this, but the exhaustion was clear in his eyes. Regulus leaned in to kiss him before they both froze. Did they…? 

Regulus retraced the moments in the hospital room and he could see the moment it clicked for James as well that this would be their first kiss. Both boys suddenly appeared nervous but Regulus took it in stride, slipping his hand to the back of James’ neck, pulling him down lightly. The moment James’ lips touched Regulus’ it was like the sun had warmed his skin, his cheeks flushing as James slipped his tongue between his lips, searching for a taste of himself in Regulus’ mouth but finding none. Regulus pushed James lightly to the side of the building, where James slid his leg between Regulus’, and his hands pulled the other boy forward. 

“OH GOD MY EYES!” Regulus jumped back aggressively at the sound of his brothers voice, and if looks could kill Sirius would be heading back into the hospital. James and Regulus were both glaring at where Sirius stood with his hands covering his face dramatically. 

“Are you trying to tell me that you’ve never seen us kiss before?” James asked, rolling his eyes and pulling Sirius’ hand off his face when Sirius still had his eyes covered. Regulus stood quietly, cheeks flushed and still glaring at his brother. 

“Of course I’ve seen you kiss before, a little peck. Not dry humping outside a hospital where your MOTHER works!” Sirius exclaimed, emphasizing how suddenly this was the most scandalous part of the day. James just sighed and rolled his eyes, giving Regulus one last peck on the cheek before heading back inside to use the floo to his home. 

“Alrighty, so I think the two of us should just walk over to my flat, Remus wanted to see you and I genuinely think anything else will overwhelm you. Sounds good? We can pick up takeout from this pub by my place?” Regulus nodded, not knowing who Remus was but assumed it  was another one of their friends. After stopping at a pub to get fish and chips for Remus and Sirius and a mushroom and onion pie for Regulus, Sirius unlocked the door to a flat located above an empty shop. 

“Remus is looking to buy the shop, and turn it into a bit of a safe space for kids from families like ours, pureblood supremacists. Teach them that muggles aren’t dangerous, give them a place to talk. Maybe have a social worker come by and check for signs of abuse. You actually inspired him,” Sirius stated as they walked up the stairs. “It was never a question if I’d get out, but you…. You didn’t show the same signs I did. And Remus felt awful that we didn’t notice you were still being hurt in that house.” 

Regulus felt himself stop on the steps, unable to move, thoughts racing in his head. Sirius looked at Regulus and realized his mistake. “I’m sorry Reggie. I didn’t think, I forgot for a second that you don’t know any of this. I didn’t mean to bring it all up again, especially since you shouldn’t have to remember any of that.” Sirius held out his hand and Regulus squeezed it lightly before continuing up the steps. 

Remus was waiting just inside the door, his eyes shining amber and the scars splattered across his body more comforting than Regulus could’ve predicted. Remus ran forward and lifted Regulus off the ground before spinning him in a circle. Regulus felt his chest tighten at the embrace before hugging back. 

“Godric, you’re back! It’s really you!” Remus said softly. Regulus responded with an uncomfortable, tight-lipped smile. Remus stepped back and looked apologetic. “Sorry Reg, I forgot for a second. You were my best friend. Are my best friend and that hasn’t changed, even if you don’t remember me.” It was Regulus’ turn to feel guilty, knowing how hard it must be for the two boys to see this person they shared so much with, that doesn’t remember them at all. 

“Hey, Remus. I’d like to get to know you, and Sirius and I got you dinner. Maybe you could tell me some stories while we eat? Then maybe we can all head over to James’ place? It feels weird being away from him…” Regulus had been feeling a tightness in his chest the last hour or so, since he left James, but assumed it was just anxiety about going to a new place. Now that he was a little settled and the pain was still there, he really wanted to check on James. Sirius could see the look in Regulus eyes and his own widened. 

“Is something wrong Regulus?” Regulus couldn’t speak, as the pain was growing with every moment spent thinking about it. His chest tightening, his blood running hot, sweat prickling up his neck and down his spine. Sirius walked over to the fireplace and tossed in a handful of floo powder. 

“Potter Manor!” Sirius shouted, tugging Regulus in close to him as they went over to James together, Remus following behind. When they appeared in the foyer, Regulus felt a tug in his chest, pulling him towards the stairs. Sirius followed him up, both boys going as fast as they could, Remus staying below in case something was wrong. Regulus appeared at a door and touched the handle, which was ice cold. 

Regulus turned the handle to find the room to have a soft sheet of frost over every surface, and the bed to be coated in ice. Regulus ran over to the bed to find James curled under the covers, skin a shade of pale Regulus didn’t know was possible in the man. James was breathing, teeth chattering and eyelashes coated in ice crystals. Regulus turned to Sirius but the other boy looked just as shocked as Regulus. 

“We were only gone an hour, what could’ve happened in an hour?” Sirius asked Regulus, not expecting an answer. Regulus tried waking James, to no avail. “Sirius, you need to go get Doctor Patil. Now.” Sirius ran down the stairs and to the floo, heading to the hospital. Regulus turned back to James and grabbed his hands, warming them with his breath. 

“Oh Jamie,” Regulus whispered, a single tear dripping onto James’ skin, freezing instantly. 

“What is happening to you?” 

Chapter Text

By the time Anise arrived at Potter Manor, Regulus had gotten a fire going in James’ room and with multiple warming charms from both himself and a strange little creature that introduced himself as the Potter house elf, Conby, James was conscious once more. Anise didn’t stop for pleasantries, immediately pulling up those familiar lights, only this time over James’ body. James smiled tightly at Regulus but when his face was illuminated in a red glow, the smile dropped. Every area that would’ve been a green glow was now a deep red, and the bright yellow light of his magical core was flickering to the beat of his heart. A small, bright silver cord of light was wrapped around the yellow light, disappearing as it passed over James’ body,inches from where Regulus sat next to him. James glanced at Anise and then to Regulus, and Anise seemed to understand. 

“Regulus, will you lay down next to James please? He has a theory I’d like to test.” Regulus immediately laid down, gently sliding his hand into James’. Anise did the diagnostic charm over Regulus and immediately the silver cord appeared to connect James and Regulus. Regulus gasped when he saw how strong his magical core was, and how it seemed to be siphoning James’ light from within. James looked at Regulus gently, and whispered, “It’s not your fault, Regulus. We didn’t know this would happen.” Regulus turned to Anise, tears falling from his eyes in frustration quickly wiped away. 

“What is happening? Why is he so sick? How can we fix this?” Regulus demanded answers and for once Anise seemed to have them. 

“It appears that you, Regulus, have triggered your soul bond with James. In extreme cases, a soul mate may ‘heal’ their partner when their magical core is damaged or depleted, but because you aren’t also filling your reserves naturally, James is losing his magic too quickly. I am so sorry, I should’ve seen this coming. With you both growing closer, the feelings you have had in the past could’ve been brought to the surface and triggered the bond.” Anise looked like there was more she wanted to say, but she seemed hesitant. James asked the question Regulus was scared to say. 

“Can we fix it? Can it be fixed? Or am I going to be like this forever, warming charms every day? Or…” James glanced at Sirius looking for strength before turning to Anise again, “Am I going to die?” Regulus sat up instantly, breaking the charm above himself and James. He moved to leave the room but James used what little strength he’d recovered to grip Regulus’ hand tighter, holding him in place at James’ side. 

“We can’t reverse it, but I can stop it. The cold will go away with some potions, you’d heal the natural way, the way someone without a soulmate would, and you’d keep what magic you have left. You wouldn’t be able to get much more back, maybe up to 50% of your original power. But there is a catch," Anise said, motioning between Regulus and James. 

“You would have to sever the bond. Otherwise it would keep happening again. Every time your feelings came back, the bond would try to transfer the magic. It would end with one of you dying, if not both. You’d never be able to see each other again.” 

This time, Regulus felt James’ grip loosen on his hand. He looked down at where they were touching, picturing a silver thread slipping between his fingers, sliding up James’ arm and around his throat, tightening until he couldn’t breathe. Regulus was a noose around James Potter’s neck, he was thr one person who could snuff out the sun for good. A villain in his own way, unwilling and unaware until the moment the light would leave the world cold and dark. He wouldn’t let that happen. Moments before he could agree to leave, James spoke again. 

“Is there any other option? Anything else we could do?” Anise glanced at Regulus and when he didn’t look up she spoke. 

“Well because Regulus can’t return the magic, the only other option would be to complete the transfer. I have a potion I could make, similar to Polyjuice, and if you both drank it, it could complete the transfer of magic. James, you’d heal naturally from the transfer, you wouldn’t need to worry about that. But you’d essentially become a squib. You would have a magical core, but it would be nearly empty. Regulus would inherit your magic, and your soulmate bond would likely be the only spark in your core. It would be permanent. You’d never get your magic back.” James looked to Sirius, who was crying softly. The idea of losing Regulus again was almost too much to bear. Regulus looked over to Sirius and stood up, letting go of James’ hand. 

“Hey it’s okay. You can still come see me, right? You could come visit me, we could still be brothers, okay? Just… just not here.” Regulus heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to see James with tears in his eyes. Regulus felt his chest tighten at the thought of never seeing James again, at losing the love he hadn’t yet gotten to experience. But it was right, he thought. He couldn’t take this from someone, this magic. He couldn’t let James lose this for nothing. Regulus began to say as much when James stood to stop him, nearly falling over with how weak he was. 

“I won’t lose you again, Regulus. I can’t. This isn’t your decision alone. And I’ve had thirty years of magic. Thirty years of spells and charms. I can handle the rest of my life without it, if I have you by my side. But a lifetime without you? I’d rather just let the cold take me.” Regulus was crying, tears stinging as they marked trails down his cheeks, and James wiped them away gently with his thumbs, holding Regulus’ face between his palms. Regulus met his caramel eyes with his own silver, and leaned in to press a soft kiss to James’ lips. James pulled back with a soft smile before turning to Anise. 

“How long before the potion can be ready?” 

Anise told James it would only take a day, and she’d be back the next night. Before she could leave, Sirius spoke. 

“Prongs!” 

James turned to him. “Yeah?” He asked, confusion written on his face. 

“No, James! Prongs?” 

James froze, and Anise sighed. 

“Is there something you need to ask me, Mr Potter?” Anise looked at the end of her rope and Regulus couldn’t help but think that this whole week had probably fallen so far outside her usual scope of responsibilities that nothing would surprise her for a while. 

“You’re bound to patient-healer confidentiality, correct? So if, say, someone did something illegal when they were a teenager you couldn’t report it?” James looked nervously to Sirius and back to Anise.

“Unless you’re planning on harming anyone or yourself, I will not repeat anything you tell me, James. What did you do?” Anise asked exasperatedly. 

“Uh, well I may have become an animagus illegally when I was fifteen. And I think Sirius might be wondering if that will affect the transfer at all?” 

Anise sighed and pinched her nose between her eyebrows. 

“James. I have no idea if that will affect anything. Most unregistered animagi aren’t running around making soulmate bonds with non magical people. Most registered animagi aren’t running around making soulmate bonds with non magical people. Honestly James, I don’t know anyone else who has ever gotten into so many crazy predicaments as you have in the last week. But we’ll have to find out.” James, Sirius, and Regulus all looked at each other like scolded children and apologized quietly, and Anise sighed again. 

“This is my job, I am not angry. I am a little exhausted and I think I’m going to leave you three for the night. I’ll send Effie over with some healing potions for you to take, James, and I’ll be back tomorrow night with that transfer potion. Sleep. Eat. Rest. No magic. Goodnight.” Anise walked over to the floo and immediately called out for St Mungos. It was silent, until they heard footsteps from the floor below and Remus appeared carrying two large bags of food in one hand and levitating a tray of tea in front of him with his wand. Regulus didn’t even realize Remus was still waiting downstairs, let alone that he’d left at any point. Remus stopped to kiss Sirius on the head before turning to James and Regulus. 

“Hey guys, what did I miss?” 

Chapter Text

After eating dinner and catching Remus up on everything that had happened, and a few more tears rightfully shed, the four boys settled into James’ room for the night. Sirius moved the mattress from one of the spare bedrooms into James’ room and transfigured the small sofa by the window into a twin sized bed for Regulus.

Regulus raised his eyebrow and, without breaking eye contact with Sirius, crawled onto the bed next to James. Sirius fake gagged, but didn’t harp on him after seeing how happy James looked to have Regulus trust him this much already. Regulus slipped under the covers, then slowly slipped the hard plastic exterior of his prosthetic off before rolling the protective sleeve down and placing it on the stand next to the bed. He glanced over at James who was looking intently at the blanket, before his eyes were drawn to Regulus’. Regulus flushed with embarrassment as he thought back on the comments he’d received before, which had been rough to say the least, and while James may have seen his scars for a moment at St Mungos, Regulus realized this was a big moment for them. He shouldn’t care about it, honestly, but knowing that James was giving up such a big part of himself made Regulus want to share. With a small inhale, Regulus pulled his arm out from where it was under the blanket and placed it gently next to James, his scars illuminated by the candles that lit the room. James smiled down at Regulus and ran his fingers gently over the scars. Regulus flushed at the attention and James smiled, leaning forward to give Regulus a gentle kiss on his cheek where his blush was most prominent. Regulus turned his head, seeking out James’ lips, before he was hit roughly in the head with a pillow. Turning his head with a scowl, Regulus glared at Sirius who was holding another pillow at the ready.

“For Merlin’s sake, can you not make out with my brother in front of me? I’m trying to sleep!” Sirius whined, clearly exaggerating his discomfort. James laughed, while Regulus threw the pillow back to Sirius, missing and hitting Remus instead. Remus sighed and rolled over, placing the pillow over his head as a shield. The rest of the night was spent throwing pillows, telling stories, and listening to the soft snore of Remus in the background until one by one the other boys joined him in slumber.

The next morning came much quicker than expected, but Regulus was the first one awake. He slipped on a dressing robe that had been hanging near James’ door before taking the steps down to the kitchen. Regulus was a man of routine, and staying up late having pillow fights was not part of his routine. He would need coffee, at the very least. When he entered the kitchen, the house elf from the day before was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. Regulus froze when he realized he didn't quite know the proper protocols for a house elf. Luckily, Conby did.

“Hello again, Mister Regulus! Conby is preparing breakfast, is there anything you need?” Regulus mumbled quietly about coffee and with a snap Conby vanished. Regulus blinked and rubbed his eyes, sure he was mistaken. Can everyone just disappear whenever they want??

In a moment Conby reappeared carrying a small carafe filled with the dark liquid and a single cup.

“Master James and Master Sirius drink tea with breakfast, so Conby brewed you your own coffee. I can send it up to the dining room, or if you would like I can send it to one of the sitting rooms down here if you would like to have a quick tour? Conby is almost done cooking and then he can take you!” Regulus agreed to a tour and took a seat in a room near the kitchen, and listened to the soft sound of humming coming from Conby as he drank his coffee.

The tour was quick, as Conby breezed by the rooms that wouldnt interest Regulus. There were five spare rooms, two dining rooms, two sitting rooms, the master bedroom that belonged to james, and the carriage house that was turned into a studio for Sirius to paint in, since his flat with Remus didn't have the room. While all of these were interesting enough, Regulus could see in Conby’s smile that he was saving the best room for last.

“This…. Is the Potter Library. Conby remembers Master Sirius telling him all about his little brother, the one who would spend days in their library at home, not leaving for anything except to eat, falling asleep every night on the sofa in front of the fireplace with a book held to his chest. Conby isn't completely caught up on everything that has happened over the years, but… He doesn't think anyone can lose their love of books.” Conby said the last sentence with a sense of authority, and Regulus knew he was right. The last few days had been a whirlwind, filled with so much excitement and stress, and all Regulus really desired was the chance to curl up with a book.

“You would be right, Conby, I actually work in a public library now. I can't wait to see what kind of books a wizard's library has!” Regulus took a step forward into the room and Conby sat his coffee tray on a nearby table before closing the door behind him.

Regulus wandered along the walls, inspecting the titles listed and found some familiar tomes as well as some he hadnt ever heard of. Tales of erklings and duppies, terrifying creatures he hadn't ever heard of, as well as creatures he had, such as dragons and unicorns. Regulus couldnt figure out how the books were organized, but he could tell there was some sort of system for the walls. His inner librarian wanted nothing more than to catalogue the entire system, until he turned around and saw an empty row of bookcases in the middle of the room, with little engravings carved into the sides. Regulus leaned forward to read the carvings. James one read, and the longer he looked at the shelf, he noticed books appearing hazily, as though not quite there. Walking down the row he saw that each case had a name carved into the side, one for James, Sirius, Euphemia, and Fleamont, as well as one simply labeled Kitchen. In each of these bookcases that same hazy effect appeared over the shelves, revealing cookbooks in the kitchen and a few journals and motorcycle repair books on Sirius’ shelves, but Euphemia and Fleamont’s were completely filled.

Regulus was intrigued but continued his tour until he found a little stack of books on a shelf that appeared to be not-wizard, ‘muggle’ James had said. Picking up a copy of Frankenstein, Regulus settled in on the sofa by the fireplace and began to read.

James woke to Conby knocking on his door, and found the bed next to him to be cold. Regulus had been gone for a while. James felt his heart race, and he looked to Sirius, but Conby interrupted his panic.

“Mister Regulus is in the library, if you would like Conby to get him for breakfast?” Conby asked, calming James immediately. James insisted he could go and check on him, and walked down the staircase, to the repeated scolding of his house elf. James slowed when he got closer to the library, his chest already hurting from his pain potions wearing off. James opened the door quietly and saw Regulus curled up on the sofa, looking years younger than he had the night before. James walked over to pluck the book from between Regulus’ fingers and his chest, marking his place with a bookmark before setting it on James' bookshelf. James leaned forward and placed a kiss to Regulus' cheek before waking him gently. His eyes fluttered lightly before opening, smiling when he saw James in front of him.

“Hey, sorry I must've fallen asleep. I’m sorry.” Regulus grimaced when he sat up, back cracking. James just shook his head.

“This is your house too, Regulus, or will be in a few hours. You can nap whenever you want, wherever you want. Nothing is off limits.” Regulus smiled at that before glancing over at the sparse collection of muggle novels.

“Can I add books in here? Some muggle books?” Regulus remembers his collection from home and could probably fill the entire bookcase without having to spend a pound.

“Of course! In fact I would love it if you added your books to our collection!”

Regulus took a moment to look for the book he had been reading but couldn't find it.

“James, do the books magically reshelve themselves? I had a book and it's gone.”

James walked Regulus over to the bookshelves in the middle of the room, stopping in front of the one with his name on it.

“So these are magic bookshelves. I put your book on the shelf, and it sends the book to my room. I can see what books are currently there, but can't touch them. And when I want to return a book to the library, I set it on the bottom shelf. Which then Conby restocks to its correct spot on the shelves. Which I believe they are currently organized by… field of study? I’m never certain how Conby organizes them but it changes every few months. You are completely welcome to take over that though, being a librarian and all. It’ll sure help when we lend out books to research facilities, knowing where they are.” Regulus’ smile grew wide, showing most of his teeth and a dimple James hadn't seen since Regulus was a teenager. 

“Conby told me i used to read a lot, that Sirius was always talking about me reading a lot. Is there anything else I used to do? That we did? I feel like I’m getting know myself through you two, but can you maybe help fill in the things i dont remember? Like… My parents? My friends?” Regulus had never felt so vulnerable, not even when he woke up in the hospital after losing his memory. James looked deep in thought before speaking.

“You loved potions and quidditch, which is like… Muggle football? But on brooms? You were so fast, my team was always nervous when we played against yours because we knew you’d catch the snitch before we’d get a chance to score. You and Sirius didnt have the greatest relationship for a while, because of your parents. They weren't good people, Reg, they really weren't. They were part of the group of people who you helped defeat, and your two best friends Barty and Evan… They were too. They… They didn't make it. The war took a lot of people. But you loved them so much, and I really think they were just kids who made the wrong choice.”

Regulus felt a tightness in his chest, a sense of mourning for people he didnt even remember, but that his soul did. The part of him that couldn't be forgotten, the part with his love of books and quick wit, also held the love he shared for those two boys, and that part was breaking. 

“Were they buried? Is there a chance we could see them? I just… I really feel like i need to see them. All of them, my parents too.” Regulus didn't realize he was crying until James was wiping the tears from his cheeks, and carefully pulling him in for a hug.

“Of course we can go see them. We can go today, when Remus and Sirius are at work. Does that sound okay? Maybe after I could show you a few of our places?” Regulus nodded into James’ chest, feeling comforted by the thought of closure. 

“Thank you, Jamie. I know this probably isnt the way you want to spend your last day as a wizard.” Regulus looked guiltily at the floor, until james turned his chin up until they were eye to eye.

“I never thought I’d get a chance to see you again, Regulus. I never thought I'd look in your eyes, or hold your hand. I never thought I'd hear you laugh, or hold you while you cried. I don't care that it's my last day with magic. Every day with you will feel like magic anyways. I’ve loved you since I was sixteen years old and I never want a day to go by again without you.”

James knew it was soon, too soon, and maybe it never really went away, but when James leaned forward to kiss Regulus, and felt Regulus kiss him back in return, he thought to himself that maybe Regulus might love him back.

Sirius and Remus were already sitting at the dining room table when Regulus and James joined them, both flustered and hair a bit messier than it should’ve been. Sirius, of course, looked appalled, while Remus looked fondly towards them, excited to see James with a smile on his face. Ever since James had lost Regulus, he seemed to have a permanent frown resting between his eyes when in the company of couples, his eyes falling to their soul-marks unintentionally. Even when James was with Lily, something was missing, but when James and Regulus reunited, Remus hadn’t seen him frown for more than a moment at a time. He missed seeing all of his friends happy. 

“So, Effie will be here soon with some potions for James, and then Sirius and I have to head to work unfortunately, especially since we want to make sure we can take a few days off in case you need any help after the spell . Do you want us to bring anything tonight when we come back?” 

James shook his head and looked to Regulus. Regulus cleared his throat and smiled slightly. “No, thank you though. James and I are going to go out for a bit after Effie leaves, but we’ll be back before you guys get back I’m sure.” Sirius and Remus shared a look, but before either of them could say anything the floo flared a bright green and Effie Potter stepped through. James smiled brightly and jumped up to hug his mom, followed immediately by Sirius who lifted her and spun her in a circle. 

“Sirius Orion Lupin!! Put me down this instant!” Sirius dropped Effie gently and Regulus looked at them confused. “I thought our last name was Black?” 

Remus and Sirius looked at each other and let out a small chuckle each. “Well yeah, it was. And then I married him and he took my name.”

Regulus looked over to Remus in a slight moment of disbelief, before looking back to Sirius, who was looking a bit apprehensive about this whole interaction.

“I have two brothers?”

Sirius’ face broke out in a smile and he nodded. “Yeah, you do! And honestly, Remus would’ve fought me over who could have you as a best man. You both spent about as much time together as Remus and I did. Or i guess as much as James and I did.”

James smiled, happy to be pulled in to the conversation, and they continued ruminating on the wedding that Regulus never attended, while Regulus thought about the ceremony that was coming up in just a few hours. Would they be married afterwards? Would the ceremony serve as a wedding of sorts? Or would they take time and get to know each other before one day making the decision to get married? Regulus could feel his thoughts spiraling away from him and took a deep breath before pushing them to the back of his mind. He’d worry later. Right now, he would focus on what he could do.

Effie didnt stay long, just for a cup of coffee and to give james his potions, including an extra one for him to hold on to. “In case of emergencies,” she had said, and he slipped it into his pocket, a warmth returning to his skin as the potion took effect. Soon after Effie flooed back to St Mungos, Sirius and Remus left as well. James and Regulus headed out to the garden and picked a few roses, compiling a rather sad looking bouquet, before heading back to the main floo.

James held a small copper calderon in his hand, scooping out a handful of what looked like ash. James sat the calderon next to the fireplace and pulled both himself and regulus inside. Regulus knew he had done this the night before with Sirius, but with his emotions not as haywire as they were before, he was actually able to pay attention to what was going on. The smokey smell of the fireplace on his skin, the green flames that never burned, James’ voice shouting out the cemetery’s name and then the fireplace pulling them jerkily to a visitor center.

“Ah, James! Usually you’re here on Fridays, we missed you this weekend! Are you– Is that… Is that who I think that is?!” The voice floated from behind the desk near the fireplace and a wispy woman floated forward. Literally, floated forward. James grabbed Regulus’ hand and the pair stopped in front of the woman, a hazy translucent hologram of a woman, if Regulus didn't know any better he’d think it was a…

“Regulus, this is Pandora Lovegood. She was your friend in school, but she is a ghost now. She is in charge here. Pandora, Regulus. He has no memories from before the horcruxes.” Pandora just smiled, looking like she had expected to see Regulus all along. Regulus stuck out his hand as though to shake hers, but retracted it when he realized that would be impossible. 

“Hi Pandora. I’m… sorry? For your loss? Is that an appropriate sentiment for a ghost?” Regulus looked at James, who was fighting back a laugh, and then at Pandora, who just smiled fondly.

“That is completely acceptable, thank you. Usually James is here to see you, but you’re here so… your parents maybe?” James nodded and then a sad look crossed her face, the first sad look he’d seen her give since arriving. “Evan and Barty too, right?” she asked, and James nodded again. Pandora placed her hand gently above Regulus' shoulder and he could almost feel her gentle squeeze. Maybe it was a memory. 

James led Regulus down the staircase that led out to the larger mausoleums, some looking straight out of a tv show, and regulus felt that if he peaked inside he might find a hot blonde vampire in a leather duster waiting for him. Shaking that thought from his mind, Regulus looked ahead to where they were walking and found himself facing a crypt that was made of solid black granite. James turned to face regulus before speaking. 

“Did you hear what Pandora said, about me being here a lot?” James asked. 

“Yeah she said you were visiting me… Oh. I’m in there, aren’t I? My… grave? My tomb?” Regulus looked confused, not sure exactly what to expect. James cleared it up for him. 

“Your name. Your name is on the wall, there is a stand for offerings under it, and the rest of your family is similarly spread out on the walls. I just wanted to warn you, because I don’t exactly know the protocol for this type of situation. I just wanted you to know. You know?” James looked like maybe he was wondering if he should’ve just not said anything, so Regulus grabbed his hand and lifted it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on James’ palm before intertwining their fingers and motioned with his other hand for James to precede. 

The tomb was cold, but as soon as they entered little orbs of light floated to the ceiling, casting everything in a greenish glow. James grimaced and moved for his wand, but paused when he remembered he couldn’t do any magic. 

“Normally I change the color to a softer color, but we’re stuck with green today I guess,” James said, and Regulus didn’t mind. He actually enjoyed the green. The pair walked forward and James pointed out family members he’d met before, or heard Regulus talk about, until they reached the wall with the most recent additions. 

Walburga and Orion had died after Regulus had been presumed dead, within weeks of each other, he learned. The altar below their names was empty, a thick coating of dust showing no one had visited in a long time, if ever. Regulus glanced at James, eyes locking as he caught the other staring. 

“I don’t feel anything. I thought maybe I’d remember something, but I don’t. They weren’t good people, you said. Was there anything… is there anything good you can remember about them?” Regulus asked James, a pit in his stomach at the idea he didn’t have any fond memories of his parents to miss. James hesitated, then stepped closer to Regulus, his chest brushing against Regulus’ back. 

“I’d only met them a few times, at the station before going to school, and one time when they showed up at my parents to drag Sirius home. Your mom was beautiful, in a very intense way. Almost.. hard to look at? She was sharp, everywhere. Sharp cheekbones, a sharp chin, sharp eyes. I think she used to be a dancer, like your cousin, Narcissa. Ballet I believe. You used to love when you would go with her to watch Narcissa dance. You never were a great dancer, two left feet,” James said with a laugh, pulling a smile to Regulus’ face, “but you loved to watch the ballet with Walburga. And your dad, you got your love of books from him. My parents were not on good terms with your parents, but your father donated more books to Hogwarts in the years his children attended than in the two centuries before. I’m pretty certain they were all his own personal copies as well.” 

Regulus’ heart did indeed clench at that, at the thought of his boxes of books at his own flat, and his joy at the Potter Library. At the thought that that was something he inherited. He never thought much about dancing, but after hearing about watching his cousin dance he wondered if maybe James would go with him one day. 

Regulus tapped his fingers lightly over each of his parents' names before turning to see a corner filled with color, not a speck of dust in sight. Walking forward he could make out a broom leaning against the altar, oiled and not a twig out of place. On the altar were a few photos and knick-knacks, a handful of dried flowers, and a thick stack of paper. Regulus peered down at the first photo and his breath hitched. It was a photo of himself and James. They couldn’t have been older than 16, both wearing gray sweaters, black slacks, and carrying brooms over their shoulders. Before Regulus' eyes he watched as the photo-James leaned over and pushed Regulus gently, knocking him slightly off balance before the photo-Regulus dropped his broom and threw himself onto James’ back with a laugh. Regulus looked over to James, eyes wide, but James just quietly whispered ‘Magic’. 

Regulus reached for the broom and felt his stomach swoop when his finger touched the wooden handle, and he could almost feel his thighs tightening around the broom. The stack of papers called to him, but after glancing at the first one and seeing they were all from James, he didn’t want to read them. He didn’t want to feel James’ pain of losing him, just his joy of having him back. Regulus grabbed the photo and tucked it in his pocket, then motioned to James that he was ready to head on to where Barty and Evan were.  

Regulus felt it in his stomach when he saw the two graves outside of a larger mausoleum. Two standard graves, in a standard granite. He squeezed James’ hand and pointed. 

“That’s them, isn’t it? I can… I can feel that it’s them. I can feel it in my gut.” James nodded. “Yeah, that’s them. Barty’s father wouldn’t pay for a funeral, and Evans' family wouldn’t let Barty be entombed with them. So Pandora paid for them to be buried next to each other. Pandora was Evan’s twin,” James explained, “She is in the mausoleum right next to them. She wouldn’t let them out of her sight, even in death.” 

Regulus knelt down next to the graves, reading the inscription she’d chosen. "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." What did she mean by that? They both were gone. Regulus would never remember what they meant to him, and they’d never know he lived. Tears slipped from his eyes, and a sob choked out his throat. He'd never remember them. The rest of the friends that lived, he’d get a chance to make new memories with them. Even Pandora, gone, but a ghost, he’d get to remember. Evan and Barty would be gone forever. 

“They loved each other right? They died together?” Regulus was still sobbing and James only nodded softly before pulling regulus in, letting him sob on James’ chest. James could barely hear what Regulus was saying, but slowly the sobs turned to soft breaths and the tears that were flowing slowed to a stop. James gently kissed the hair covering Regulus' forehead before pulling him back slowly, wiping his face and nose as he went. 

“I’m sorry I don’t know what got into me. I think

This was just a lot. All at once. Can we… Can we go somewhere else? Somewhere happier maybe?” James smiled and looked at Regulus again. “Anywhere you want, priya.” 

Regulus thought for a second. 

“Ice cream?”

James’ smile grew wide and reached his eyes, and all but dragged Regulus back to the floo in the visitor center. “The Leaky Calderon!”

When the pair stepped out of the floo into a small pub, Regulus was a bit confused. It didn’t seem like a place that served ice cream. Before he could ask James, his hand was being tugged and they were all but running out of the pub out onto a crowded street, where regulus dutifully followed James to a bright pastel building named Fortescue’s. 

Inside, James and Regulus immediately got in line. James ordered a cotton candy ice cream in a bowl, while Regulus ordered a mint chocolate chip in a cone with a spoon, making James smile fondly for some reason. When the pair sat down, Regulus saw James still smiling. 

“We came here for our first date 12 years ago. It’s only fitting you picked here for our first date again.” Regulus freezes, hand inches from his mouth.

For James, lots of things had changed— they were older, maybe not wiser, and the Regulus that James had fallen in love with had died for all intents and purposes, but some things were constant. James Potter loved Regulus Black, and Regulus Black always ordered mint chocolate chip ice cream in a cone with a spoon. This was a comfort to James, but to Regulus this was something that brought a chill to his bones. 

 Regulus had no preconceived notion of his memory returning. He knew it wasn’t going to happen. He knew that he was going to be like a child for the next few years, learning about magic and how to do magic, possibly getting tutors and having to struggle just to learn the basics, all while James is going to be learning how not to have magic himself. How could James be so invested in a date when their lives would be changed forever in a couple hours? When Regulus still wasn’t sure exactly what they were doing together. Was James just expecting the old Regulus to make his way to the surface if he tried hard enough? 

Regulus could feel his ice cream slipping from his spoon and he let it, placing the spoon down too. With a muttered excuse, Regulus walked to the bathroom quickly, breath coming in silent gasps as he shut the door behind him, sliding down to sit on the floor with his head in his hands.