Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"A touch of rosewater, a pair of fairy wings, pearl dust, a drop of morning dew, and a dash of mint to taste~" 

The basic ingredients of the fabled love ,potion that so many sought him out for. 

Satoru smirked and mixed the ingredients together–in a basic soup pot that he got for fifty percent off since it once had a glaring dent in it. All he had to do was shake it a bit and it was good as new!

These kinds of requests were typical, but they paid good, and he couldn't care less who they went to.

"Humans are so predictable," he said as he moved the pot off the fire. 

He already knew how this would play out.

The client, a desperate woman with a homely face, would tremble in glee when he handed her the potion. She'd grasp the glass vial in her greedy little hands and nod along to his instructions. And he'd pocket her payment with a smile, and send her on her merry little way as she went off to doom some poor bastard.

He picked up the ladle and took a careful sip of the contents. "Hm, should be sweeter—"

"How many times do I have to tell you? You shouldn't be tasting your potions, Gojo" his favorite person kindly reminded him.

"Hm, and how many times do I have to ask you to call me Master?" Satoru countered with a playful pout. 

"Infinity."

He grinned and gestured to a shelf above him.  "Don't tempt me, Hime-dear, I actually can achieve such a feat, now could you get the sugar for me?"

The black cat at his feet huffed in annoyance and jumped up to the shelf he was pointing at. As graceful as any cat would, she weaved over the cluttered shelf until she got to the jar he was pointing at. 

"Mh, that one, c'mon, before it gets too cold," he said.

She glared down at him with her bright amber eyes and smacked the jar off the shelf. The lid flew open, and the sugar poured out.

Satoru laughed and made a quick gesture, stopping the jar, and the sugar in mid air. "Thank you for the help, Utahime~" he said with a grin and willed the sugar back into the jar. Once it was all put away, he held his hands out, and the jar slowly landed on the center of his palm. 

"You could have gotten it yourself," Utahime grumbled, as crotchety as ever.

"Mh, but isn't it your job to help me?" He mused and tasted the potion again after adding a few spoons of sugar. 

It was perfectly sweet, not too overwhelming, but just enough to invoke that feeling of love that so many associated sweetness with. 

"Tch, like you need it— stop tasting your concoctions! You want to poison yourself again?" Utahime hissed.

Satoru laughed and perfectly poured the pink tinged liquid into a glass vial. "Can you get a cork for me?"

"It's literally within arms reach."

"Mhm, that it is," he said and held his hand out, waiting.

Utahime growled and jumped over to the drawer he had the corks in. She pawed at the string tied to the handle to open it up, and jumped inside to retrieve a cork for him.  She grabbed it in her mouth and moved over to drop it —at his feet. 

"So moody, Hime, what's got your panties in a twist? A tom try and woo you again?" He asked as he summoned the cork to his hand. It blinked out of existence and reappeared in his palm,  obviously too big for his vial.

He shook his head and tapped the cork to the top of the vial, transfiguring it to the perfect size and popped it in. 

"Shut up, idiot!" Utahime snapped. "I'm just annoyed that you never listen to me."

Satoru smirked and held the vial up to his face to inspect it, the glowing blue of his eyes, reflected off the glass, giving it a similar hue. 

" You're the familiar, Hime, you should be listening to me," he said and shook the vial,  swirling the ingredients together further. 

It looked gross.  The fairy wings hadn't fully broken down, and the dust particles from the pearl were still floating around like sand. He could see other bits floating in the vial, all looking more like something he scooped off the ground. 

"In your dreams," she growled. 

"Every night~" he teased, and shook the vial again, he gave it a kiss for show, simultaneously pushing his magic into it. 

"Gross."

The liquid bloomed into a smooth,  deep, shimmery pink, everything perfectly blended, the consistency much closer to honey now than water. A perfectly beautiful love potion. 

He grinned and crouched down to show Utahime the vial. "Voila~! Now ,  I shouldn't taste it," he said.

Utahime's large eyes narrowed and she batted his hand away. "It's one of those again? Get it away from me."

He reached over to pet her, but she shirked away from him. Determined to get at least one scratch in,  he leaned forward to try again, but she hissed at him and swatted at his hand, drawing blood in three long, surprisingly deep scratches over his knuckles. 

Well… he got three scratches in… 

Her eyes widened and she flinched, her ears wilting back against her head. "Ah! Why didn't you stop me?" She asked, her voice trembling faintly. 

"So stubborn," he sighed and scooped her up and held her firmly against his chest. "Do you remember what happened last time you lashed out at me like that?" He asked as he carried her away.  

He set the potion on the counter and made his way to the washroom while Utahime struggled in his hold.

"Put me down!" She growled.

"Oh stop, you're acting like I hurt you, but as I seem to recall, you're the one that has only ever hurt you," he said, chuckling in amusement as she continued to struggle in his arms. 

"I'm not doing that again!" She huffed angrily. 

"Mh, you will."

Satoru kicked the door open and set her down on the counter beside the sink. " Revelare ," he mumbled under his breath.

Utahime's form glimmered and shifted, the shadows cloaking her falling away until her true beauty sat before him.

He was momentarily stunned, still not used to seeing her human visage as she barely used this form over the past few years. Her pale skin looked almost as white as his next to the black dress she wore, the bodice clinging to her in a perfectly beautiful fashion.  

Carefully, he reached for her again and gently cupped her cheek in his hand, exhaling shakily when he felt the warmth of her smooth skin.

"You're pathetic," she grumbled, but there wasn't really any bite to her tone.

He smirked and slid his hand up through her long, silky black hair. The deep violet tint of each strand caught the light filtering in through the window just so.

She shivered, and he felt it in his bones, and he knew she liked it. The little liar. 

"Give me your hand, Hime," he murmured and held his bleeding hand out.

She huffed and slowly held her hand out to him.  

He grinned and gently grabbed her hand. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles, tracing a line in her skin that matched the slashes in his own hand. 

She hissed in pain, flinching as if she was the one with an open wound, though there wasn't much of a difference in it anyway who was actually bleeding. 

"Easy," he cooed softly and pressed a kiss against her knuckles, sending his magic through her, and healing the hurt. 

The wound on his hand closed at the same time, leaving behind a pink scar, and he smirked in triumph. 

She snatched her hand away and shoved him back. "You're so annoying, why can't you just heal it normally?"

He held his hand out to her. "Ah-ah, I'm not done yet~ you need to do your part as well, Hime- dear."

Utahime glowered at him, boldly pinning him with her amber eyes, her pupils slitted.

Satoru waved his hand in her face, grinning as his sunglasses fell down the bridge of his nose. He was so close to her that he could see the way the glow of his eyes reflected into her own.  

He could hold her gaze for ages, she really was never going to win one of these little stare downs, but he entertained her each time anyway. 

The bell to his shop dinged faintly in the background, but he didn't budge, refusing to surrender. 

"You have a customer, Idiot," Utahime muttered. 

"Then you better hurry up and do your part, or we'll need to cut back on supper for a few days," he said, grinning. 

She scowled, and quickly pecked the top of his hand, a tiny little kiss, so slight he barely felt it, but he let her have it. He won anyway. 

Her warm magic slowly eased over him, melting into the skin on his hand, and completely erasing the scar,  leaving his skin flawless. 

Grin still in place, he turned to wash the blood off his hands. Using the residuals of Utahime's magic still pulsing in him, he teleported out of the room, appearing sitting atop his shop counter, catching the customer snooping through some charms he had on display. 

"Those are buy one get one half off," he said. 

The customer, the woman that commissioned the potion, gasped when she saw him.  "Oh! Master Gojo! I didn't see you there."

"Mh, 'cause I was invisible ~"

She gasped, her eyes wide in awe. "Oh my! I didn't know you could do that!"

He couldn't– not without Utahime helping him, but no one needed to know that.  "Mhm, mhm, I've got your potion," he said and snapped his fingers, summoning the potion to his hand with a quiet, poof— for show.

The little glitters and smoke wafted around, and he smirked as he imagined Utahime nagging him about finding glitter in the floorboards, and getting stuck to her dainty little paws. All she had to do was ask nicely and he'd take care of it for her, but no, she loved to be difficult. 

The woman gasped and greedily reached out to take the potion, but he held it above her head. 

"Now, now,  don't you think you're forgetting something?" He asked as he waved the potion in front of her. 

"Oh! Right, of course, I'm so sorry," she said and fumbled to get a small pouch from her bag. She held it out to him, and he pointed to the counter. 

She set the pouch on the counter and he grabbed it from there. It felt like the proper weight.

He dumped the coins out on the counter, pleased to see shining gold staring back at him. Without counting it he nodded and set the potion down on the counter. 

"There you go—"

She snatched it up just like he expected her to.

"Alright, on the day you wish to give it to your beloved, store the vial in your bosom— so the potion can absorb the love in your heart~" he said with a smirk.  "I've given you enough, but you must be cautious, a whole vial at once may lead to obsession, it is best to dose in increments. A drop at breakfast, a bit at lunch, and a heartier amount at supper to spur his— longing in the evening. 

"It's best to serve with tea or red wine, I also suggest touching his arm or smiling at him as he takes the first drink, understand?" Satoru explained.

The woman nodded, her knuckles whitening as she gripped the vial. "Of course! Thank you so much, Master Gojo!"

He smiled and waved her away. "Yeah, alright, now go on, I've things to do today."

She nodded and scurried out of his shop, the bell chiming behind her. 

"I hate that you make those," Utahime said as she jumped on the counter, back in her cat form. 

He shrugged. "It's crazy good money, humans are quite desperate little things," he mused and motioned to the coins. "Could you take care of that for me?"

"I'm not touching your dirty money," Utahime spat.

He sighed heavily as if she'd done him a great disservice and twirled his finger over the coins. They lifted into the air, following the spiral his finger made, and flew straight to the chest he pointed to, dropping inside with the rest of the money he earned through his business. 

"You're not a good familiar, Hime-dear," he grumbled. 

" You're not a good witch!" She growled. 

He scoffed. "I'm a sorcerer , and quite frankly, I'm the best there is, no one else can compare."

"The point is the same, and I don't care how strong you think you are, you're not good," she snapped, her pretty little nose in the air. 

Not much could actually bother him, most of the time he shrugged off her petty little insults and went about his day.  In his mind, insulting him was akin to insulting herself. 

But when she said things like that, it really got under his skin, because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Utahime was good. 

He could feel her goodness through their bond, taste it. He could feel the comfort of her magic, the warm energy a stark contrast to his. So when she insulted his character like that with such vitriol, it got to him. 

If she thought he was that bad, what did that mean for their arrangement? He couldn't imagine existing without her at his side, her magic was woven so deeply with his that sometimes, he pulled from her energy without realizing, sometimes he absorbed what she gave without thinking to ask first.

Which, he didn't have to. There was no rule anywhere that said a witch— or sorcerer or whatever the hell— needed to ask their familiar for permission for anything. 

Familiars were bound to their masters, their magic and souls combined as one. Society considered them one entity. A familiar without a master was incomplete, a half being.

  He didn't need to ask. But ever since they met when he was young, Satoru always tried to ask her simply because, all of those years ago, she asked him to do so. 

Didn't that make him good? Wasn't that evidence enough that he was better than most? Why did she insist so much that he was so bad? Something she did more often lately.

Was their bond not as strong as he thought? Could she leave? She shouldn't be able to physically be too far from him, if she got too far, she'd get sick. She could die unless he severed their connection.

But what if… what if their bond was weak? What if she wanted to leave?

The thing that drove him up the wall each time was that he knew she knew how these arguments affected him. At least, she was supposed to know. 

He could sense her emotions, sometimes if he wasn't careful, her mood would affect him. If she was upset about something, even if it was a tragedy in a book she read, he'd get upset himself and not know why until he realized he was absorbing her emotions. 

He could tell when his teasing went too far, because he could feel her offense curdle in his gut. 

Unless he was actively blocking it, she should be able to tell the same for him, even if he was hardly anything other than content.  Wouldn't that make it when he was truly upset that much more obvious? 

Maybe she just doesn't care? 

Satoru grimaced and rolled his eyes, his energy whipping up in frustration. 

"I am good, I help people, Utahime, why are you so against that?" He asked, annoyed. 

"No you're not!" She insisted, further chipping at his armor. "You ruin lives! How can you make a love potion when you don't even know what love is?! It's not something to be messed with! You know it's taboo."

Her insistence further stamped on his ego. "I know what it is! It's not as complicated as people think, all I'm doing is helping a few bastards get laid, I didn't know you were such a prude, Utahime, there is nothing wrong with carnal pleasure."

Her eyes widened. "Love isn't carnal pleasure!"

"Oh please, there is hardly a difference!"

"You're just proving my point, you have no idea what you're talking about!"

He scoffed and manually began closing the shop for the day, trying to burn off the energy swirling in his chest. 

He didn't bother to count his inventory, and just focused on cleaning and putting things away. 

"Why are you so worked up? Love is just a censored word for lust, it's what the prudes say so they don't embarrass themselves. 

"Take the woman today for example, she loves her boss, tall, wealthy, handsome, but he is way out of her league, she's short, untalented and plain, and she knows it. So she comes to the best in town for a little remedy. 

"He drinks the potion while he's with her, and wow would you look at that? He popped a boner, oh but he's gonna wave it off as random, happens to the best of us, but then every time he's with her he catches a stiff? And why is he always so horny around her?? Damn, maybe he does love her. And they'll fuck, and maybe she'll get pregnant, and wow look, another client happy," Satoru grumbled and tossed the broom back in the supply closet. 

"Sounds more like you scammed that woman and gave her an aphrodisiac!" Utahime snapped. 

He threw his hands in the air. "Exactly! I— it's not a scam you annoying woman!"

She sniffed and jumped over to the open window. "Forget it, Gojo, clearly you have no idea what I'm talking about."

He pointed at her. "Don't. You're not allowed to leave," he never restricted her from doing anything, and he always left that window open for her to go as she pleased. He could force her to stay, but even now, he couldn't bring himself to do it. But he would if she pushed him… 

"Why? You don't need me, you don't even listen to me. We're not very compatible, you know it yourself. I'm too weak in comparison to you. Familiars are supposed to match their masters… I don't match you. It'll be best if I find someone else won't it?" She said, her little nose in the air.

His head spun. Was she serious? She wouldn't seek out another sorcerer, would she? She'd downgrade herself to some lower idiot? 

She couldn't. He'd have to wipe her memory if she did because if he didn't, she'd be taking all of his arcana with her,  his secrets. She'd be taking years of his magic with her. She'd be able to share that with whatever bastard she ended up with next!

His hand twitched at his side. He could force her to stay, he could command her will to his own… 

And yet—

"Don't… don't be ridiculous…" he said, quiet, strained, a lump in his throat. 

"I'm very serious," she said and jumped through the window. 

He held his breath, counting the seconds, waiting for her to jump back in and call him an idiot for believing her. He stood there, shocked, waiting for her to berate him for doubting her. 

He was light headed when he finally allowed himself a breath. He gasped for air, a bit numb, and disoriented. There was no way she was serious! She couldn't be serious! 

Is she serious?!

The bell of his shop chimed and he whirled around, tasting his heart. Of course she'd come back to ease his nerves, of course she'd make sure he knew she was joking, trying to punish him for stoking her ire—

"Are you Master Gojo?" A man clad in the kingdom's military uniform asked. 

Satoru was dizzy. It wasn't her. She didn't come back… 

But she would, right? They planned to make her favorite dish for supper… 

"What can I do for you?" Satoru asked as plainly as he could."

"This is for you, The Crown has a request," he said and handed him a letter. 

Satoru took it, but he didn't really pay attention to what the soldier or guard or whatever the hell was saying. He was too busy tentatively tugging on the small thread that linked Utahime to him.  

He was relieved it was still taut, but it was simultaneously a reminder of how thin it was. Hadn't it been thicker at one point? Hadn't there been more? 

He gently tugged on it again while the man yammered on, waiting for some kind of response. 

But even on the third tug, he got no response. 

She's serious… 

Chapter Text

Satoru spent the rest of the night cleaning his shop and his upstairs apartment suite from corner to corner. 

He was too antsy to sleep or read or study. Utahime hadn't come home yet, and he couldn't remember a time where she didn't make it back for supper. Even when she missed supper, he'd simply wait for her, an hour, two,  she was never much later. 

And he'd complain about her making him starve, and she'd roll her eyes and tell him he didn't have to wait, but he did, and he knew deep down it was the right thing because she would always smile when she learned he waited. 

So he left the food he made on the counter, cold and untouched. He didn't have an appetite anyway.

Typically, if Utahime disapproved of something he did, she'd explain her reasoning in a surprisingly calm manner. He'd question her, offer his own reasons and often they'd come to a peaceful understanding.  Most of the time, he bent to whatever she insisted, but when he did put his foot down, she didn't have too much to say beside an angry little huff.

It was always the stupid love potion that got her so heated— the best money maker he had! 

He didn't get it.  But even if she stormed out in the past, she always came back for supper, and sometimes she'd give him the silent treatment, but she'd be home, safe, with him where she belonged. 

"Fine, you win, I won't make them anymore," he grumbled as he yanked his bedding off so he could take it to wash.  Utahime always told him to keep himself busy if he was frustrated so he didn't do anything drastic, but, he was running out of shit to do to keep his mind occupied, and he was a hair's width away from cleaning Utahime's room as well. 

If she isn't back by morning I'm going to literally flip this whole city inside out, along with anyone else that gets in my way. 

As he thought that he forcibly yanked the sleeves of one of his jackets inside out and a grin worked its way onto his face as he imagined a person in its place. The question though, would it be their entire body? Just the skin?

That's what he'd do to if an idiot was trying to take her from him… 

If someone was trying to take her from him, he'd make sure they lived just long enough to regret even thinking about crossing him, let alone acting on it.

But Utahime wouldn't be very happy about that… 

He grimaced and shoved the heels of his palms into his eyes.  

She'd get over it though. She'd have to. Did she expect him to take these insults lying down? 

And what if she's just tired of you? She said herself that she wants to serve someone else… 

Well fuck, she did, didn't she? Did she? 

Did she not care about insulting him? After everything he's done for her, she'd slight him so easily? Even suggesting that was a grave offense! Familiars were punished for way less... he let her run wild, and Iook what happened.  

If she isn't back by morning I'm going to literally flip this whole city inside out, along with anyone else that gets in my way. He thought once again. 

Everyone is getting it at morning's first light… 

He hung everything he washed up to dry and went to organize his storage room. It was a cluttered mess, and Utahime had been nagging him to clean it up for ages now… 

He organized everything by type, then color and weight. He made sure everything looked perfect, every portion of material was exactly the same as everything of its kind, every vial was filled exactly at the same line. 

If the color was off by even a tint, he tossed it, if something had a dent he mended it until the whole room looked picture perfect. 

It looked clinically perfect, everything sorted and set to perfection down to the atom.

A type of unnatural perfection that only he could achieve thanks to the power that stemmed from his eyes. 

His eyes could perceive things that others could not.  An innate gift he had since birth. The six eyes, known only in legends. A trait that got him sold to The Crown when he was only three years old where he was raised as a weapon.

Over the years, the power within him grew,  and he learned how to warp matter. He learned how to see energy in ways that not even the best court sorcerers could. He could bend space, see sound, touch light, he could make infinity touchable, visible, moldable…

And when he was seventeen, Utahime convinced him to literally fight for his freedom. 

If anyone can do it... I truly believe it is you... 

The only time she ever eagerly fed his ego.

You can do it, Satoru! I'm with you to the end! 

So with her spurring him on, he had burst into the throne room and challenged the King and his council to a duel for his soul. A year later after defeating every single sorcerer in the King's army, just a handful shy of a thousand strong, Satoru earned the honor and recognition of The Strongest Sorcerer of The Age. 

And on his eighteenth birthday, he left the castle, and purchased the plot of land his shop stood on as a free man. 

His most difficult spells couldn't be done without a lot of preparation. He had to spend time he didn't have gathering his magic, often implementing complicated magic circles. With Utahime's help, he could shorten that prep time to seconds, with her help, he didn't need to write out sigils. She worked as a catalyst– something he often joked about, what with her having a cat form.  She was able to direct and channel his power for him in ways that he still hadn't figured out how to do on his own. 

Satoru stumbled out of the room when he was finally finished and glanced around the shop.  He could fix a few more things. The shop was a little run down. 

Muttering to himself about the cracks in the floorboards and the chips in the paint he conjured a piece of chalk in his hand and crouched in the center of his shop. There was just too much to do by hand, he could just fix it all at once. 

He drew a large circle and added a few sigils and symbols when a thought came to him. 

Instead of just patching everything up, why not actually fixing it? He could do it. It would be easy. 

He could break down the whole building bit by bit until it was nothing but dust, and reconstruct it into the epitome of perfection. 

He'd built this shop by hand six years ago, carried the wood and stone from the harbor with only Utahime's help. Why hadn't he just done this? Why did he waste his time? 

Hmm, he could break the city down while he was at it… if he added a few more sigils, made the circle a bit bigger, he could tear every single building down at once. Then he'd build it up again in a perfectly beautiful city. 

He increased the size of the circle and added the new sigils needed for such a massive spell. 

The old harbor wouldn't need that poor patch job anymore, he could straighten and shine the cobblestone, polish it, and turn the city fountain from common stone into marble and gold. 

Maybe he'd even fix the trees, the flowers… the neighbor did always complain that her flowers died too soon, he could change that, make them durable.  

He'd put Utahime's favorite flowers there instead, and some around the shop. 

And while he had everything compressed into a tiny marble of matter in his hands he could find Utahime before he shifted everything back into place to properly welcome her home… 

He stood in the center of the circle and held his hands up, forming the hand signs needed to start the spell. 

The whole building groaned as his magic quickly flared around him in a whirl of pulsing white-blue light. He grinned, the energy that pulsed around him making him feel giddy.

He never got to use the full breadth of his power, he'd been forbidden from doing so when he belonged to The Crown, and the quiet life he'd built with Utahime didn't require such drastic spells. 

But The Crown was no longer his master, and Utahime wasn't around to stop him... 

Besides… It felt good, the power. Exciting. Keeping it bottled up all the time was a different kind of exhausting. 

Too dangerous, deadly… 

They had no idea. 

The energy slowly gathering around him grew heavy it tasted metallic, and simultaneously made his hair began to stand on end and slowly whirl around him.

The chalk he used to draw the magic circle began to float as well, along with any similarly sized object that wasn't tied down.  

The metallic taste in his mouth intensified and morphed into iron. Blood flooded his mouth and slowly trickled down the corner of his lips. Too much at once… his body was still too weak to handle all of his power without a proper medium… 

Oh well, one couldn't improve without a bit of sacrifice.

The building groaned again, and one of the support beams cracked. He could feel the ground trembling, the vibrations matching the tremor in the air, the ones that shook his bones. Any second now it was going to burst, the bubble of magic gathering around him. 

It would be beautiful, sublime, an explosion of power unlike anything these seaside folks have ever seen in their measly little lives. 

The shop door flew open, the bell ringing loudly, and he blinked in confusion as he locked eyes on glowing amber.

"Mitte mihi!" Utahime yelled, her hair whipping around her from the whirl of energy. 

Compelled, he changed his hand signs to match hers and channeled all of the built up magic to her as she commanded. 

She screamed as soon as it hit her, and he just stared, eyes wide as she channeled his magic, one arm reaching out towards him, matching his hand sign, and the other arm was directed out the door to the sky.

The sky suddenly split with a crack of lightning that set the heavens on fire, the tendrils of the bolt branched out across the clouds like the tree of life,  flashing everything in a pale purple light. 

The following thunder crack was so loud that he momentarily lost his hearing. It felt and sounded like a bomb, it rattled his bones. 

His eyes crossed, and he laughed. 

The only sound he could process now was a high pitched ringing.  

Seconds later it started to pour.

Utahime stared at him for a few heavy beats, out of breath, her body trembling and then she leaned forward and puked a river of blood. He suddenly couldn't breathe. 

Whatever was holding him in place finally released him just in time for him to rush forward and catch her. 

All the sound rushed back to him so quickly he felt dizzy. The sounds of people yelling,  screaming, dogs barking, horses getting spooked, the thrum of the rain, the howling of the wind.

Confused, coughing, and panicking, he carried her up to her room and laid her down before rushing to his to get the healing tonic he got from his friend, Shoko, the kingdom's best healer. 

He has never seen her bleed like that before... she was never affected this much... 

He shakily poured some of the potion into Utahime's mouth and placed his hand on her forehead to send an additional healing pulse through her. 

He sighed in relief when he felt that she was stable, and leaned back on his heels to observe her.

"You snapped again," Utahime mumbled, her voice rough. 

Ah.

"What were you thinking about?" She asked, her voice a whisper. 

"I… I don't really know," he mumbled, feeling light headed. He looked her over again to make sure she was okay and finally let himself relax. He felt exhausted all of a sudden. His head hurt like hell, and his eyes felt like they'd been poked out. 

She remained silent, but kept her eyes on him. She was probably analyzing him, trying to figure out what the fuck happened. He wanted to know too.

He still had too much energy pulsing through him that he didn't know what to do with. Since he was in her room now, he started to clean it up. It didn't need much, Utahime was always neat and tidy, but he could see dust on top of all her bookshelves, so he started there. 

"You missed dinner," he grumbled in frustration.  

"I know,  I was—"

He spun around to glare at her.  "Why?" 

She frowned and sat up.  "I'm sorry, Gojo… I didn't realize it got so late…" 

That only sparked his irritation. He snapped. "How the fuck?! You never do this! I couldn't even sense you! I was this close to going out to look for you!" He yelled, and held his fingers out a hair's width apart.  "I don't know why I didn't! I should have, I should have dragged you back! I was going to— I would have burnt this city down— I was going to,  I was going to tear it down, I was going to rip everything to shreds—"

"Gojo—!"

He leaned forward and pressed his finger against her lips. "Shh, don't worry, Utahime, I was going to fix everything. I was going to make it better– perfect, for you. You would have liked it, I know you like everything organized, tidy, you would have liked my vision, I can still do it if you want, I can still—"

"Satoru! "

He froze, his voice caught in his throat. No one used his first name, she almost never used his first name. He could still count on one hand how many times she has said it. It sounded weird, foreign, but each time she said it he found that he really liked it. 

"Take a deep breath, and slowly let it out until I tell you to stop," Utahime mumbled and moved his hand then pressed two fingers on his forehead, drawing a sigil he recognized that was typically used to drain a witch of their power, depleo.

He blinked at her, curious, lost, but did as she said without questioning. He could feel her draining his magic, but he let her do as she pleased. He had no reason not to trust her. 

She was his familiar, his other half, they were considered one entity, so his magic was hers just as much as hers was his. At least that's what he's always believed. 

They'd found each other organically, something that rarely happened in this day and age. The act of acquiring a familiar was very transactional nowadays. Familiars were traded, collected, and sold quite often, something not even he had been protected from. Which was why he was proud their bond was not tainted the same way.

What she was doing was very illegal though. Familiars weren't allowed to take from their masters, and Utahime typically lived by the book. Why was she breaking the rules now?

He would have asked, but even his mind was growing fuzzy as more and more of his energy was pulled away from him. Forming thoughts was difficult. 

She drained him until he felt sleepy, and he laid back against her bed, his eyes half closed as he fought to stay awake. 

"Feel better?" She asked, sighing.

"Mhm…" he hummed sleepily. 

"One more deep breath."

He took another deep breath and felt as if he melted further into her mattress. He could stay here forever, even with his feet on the ground, he was so comfortable he couldn't find the energy to move. 

She finally cut the flow a few beats later and moved her fingers off his forehead. 

She got off the bed and grabbed his arm and pushed, pulled. It took until she grabbed his leg and pushed that he realized she was trying to straighten him to lay properly on her bed. 

He just watched her through the narrow window of his eyes, too exhausted to help. He felt detached from his body, his mind still fuzzy, distant.

He could still hear the rain, still pouring like crazy.  

When she finally straightened him out she sat on the edge with a sigh. "You're heavy…" 

She reached over and brushed his hair out of his face, and slowly ran her fingers through his hair. "You know the King is going to send word for you now… there is no way his sorcerers didn't sense that, they'll know it was you… what were you thinking?"

He closed his eyes fully for a few beats, thoroughly enjoying the way she was playing with his hair. She rarely did this. He liked it though, he wished she did it more often. He petted her all the time–tried to,  when she didn't scratch him,  it only seemed fair for her to return the favor more often. 

Hm, now that he thought about it she tried to scratch him a lot lately. What was up with that?   

She sighed. "I'm sorry… about yesterday. I shouldn't have said those things. I was just… irritated. You irritate me, Gojo."

Ah… back to formalities… 

"And I'm sorry for being gone for so long… I lost track of time… I also… may have gotten wasted… I didn't want you to see me like that. So I cast a spell to cloak our connection," she explained with her head down. "Plus… I didn't want the alcohol to affect you…" She looked back up with a frown.  "I forgot you don't need alcohol to influence you into doing stupid things," she gently tapped his forehead. "That's all you."

He smirked, amused. She was right. He was constantly walking on a thin line between sanity and insanity. The last time he snapped, he leveled a whole forest while in search of a demon that was hiding out in it. 

It had been evading him for days, picking off townsfolk every night until he decided, why not just flatten down every hiding spot?

He'd squashed the demon in the process, but also destroyed 20 acres of forest land. Utahime had been in the town talking to the residents at the time, trying to get information on the demon to try and track it easier. 

It had taken him a long time to understand why she started screaming at him when he ran over to tell her he'd killed it… 

She'd cried for all the unfortunate animals caught in the middle. She'd mourned their loss as if they were more. There had been people caught in it too, and she made him light candles and pray for their souls… a tragedy he promised her he wouldn't do again… 

And he'd stood beside her in the rain as she prayed for the lives that he'd taken without thought… 

Within the last few years, his power had kept growing to a point where it was getting to be too much for his body to handle, and he did things without realizing more often, without thinking. He could melt his own brain if he wasn't careful. The knowledge that doing so would also kill Utahime was what helped him keep himself in check. 

He didn't want to hurt her.  

But no matter how careful he was, he wasn't perfect. He could slip at any moment, but Utahime was good at keeping him on the right side of the line— if she was around. She somehow knew how to tell when he started drifting, as she called it, and would pull him back from wherever it was he'd drifted. 

What would happen if she couldn't one day? The sight of her throwing up all that blood violently resurfaced and he grimaced. 

He was dangerous.  Maybe she was right.  She shouldn't be his familiar anymore, he could kill her, on accident of course… but what if one day he did it on purpose? 

If he hurt her, even if it was an accident, then he'd probably kill everyone in this damn city, and himself along with it. Maybe he could take everyone in the entire kingdom down with him… possibly more. He had enough power to do it, he knew he did. 

Maybe she was right. They weren't compatible, at least not anymore. 

He was too dangerous, a liability. 

He'd have to find someone else that matched her better. If he found someone else for her, then he could make peace with severing their connection. 

As much as he didn't want her to be associated with the kingdom, and by extension a Sorcerer, a common witch wouldn't be able to provide her the protection he wanted her to have. 

Witches that worked for and were trained by the crown were dubbed sorcerers, like humans were dubbed knights, even when they retired, they retained that honor.  Maybe he could find someone that was retired? Though he still didn't like the idea of giving her away to some stranger… 

It would have to be his old classmate then, Shoko. Even though she worked in the heart of the castle, she was also the most protected sorceress in the kingdom. And she didn't have a familiar… 

If he gave Utahime to Shoko… then he could afford to risk keeping her memories intact. Because Shoko wasn't strong enough to replicate his best spells, and he knew she wouldn't share them with anyone.  Shoko was also a little lazy, and she wouldn't really care to try and understand them.  

Utahime wouldn't share them either. He knew she wouldn't, and no one would dare harm Utahime if she was Shoko's familiar, the King's best healer.

It was the best option. And him? He'd carry on with his life, his business, and everyone would be happy. 

Utahime would be safe, she'd be matched with a master that matched her. Shoko could have a friend, they had gotten along well when he still belonged to The Crown. They'd even joked about how they matched better than Utahime matched with him. 

They were right.  

 And he'd carry on with his business… 

 Utahime will be happy, safe. 

Shoko will have a friend. 

And he'd carry on with his business… 

.

.

Satoru woke up with a painful twist in his gut, he was starving, and disoriented. 

He looked around and got his face full of fur when he turned his face to the side.  

Hime… 

He turned into her a bit more and instinctively pulled her close to his chest. Damn he was going to miss her… but even after sleeping on it, he couldn't see the downside of the idea. 

It was still raining, though not as violently as before. 

Satoru stood up and gently set Utahime down on her pillow so she could continue sleeping. He pet her gently between the ears, smiling when he heard her begin to pur. 

She was so tiny. Sometimes he forgot easily just because he didn't really think about it. But she was petite for her age, even normal cats were much larger than her.  He always teased her by saying that was why she had a huge temper, because she was so small. 

My little ball of fury… 

He chuckled and slipped out of the room so he could make breakfast.  He left the food he made the night prior on the counter,  not really feeling like dealing with it right now.  

He felt like making pancakes… 

He was in the middle of mixing the batter when he sensed Utahime enter the kitchen, her little paw pads making silent little taps on the polished hardwood. 

He set the bowl down to greet her, but then she jumped on his shoulder and transfigured into a scarf, wrapping snug around his neck, warm and soft. 

She hadn't done this in a long time. 

This was how she liked to rest with him when he was a kid.  If he annoyed her, she'd strangle him, but she never actually hurt him, and he secretly liked that she stayed so close.

In his head it always felt like she was hugging him.

Even when he was a teenager, she'd lounge around his neck as the snuggest scarf. He never figured out why, but he was always so mellow when she sat around his neck like this.

He could actually sit still through two hour meetings. Whether or not he actually retained any information was up in the air, but he always made it through without a peep. Utahime always caught him up anyway. 

Most familiars had three natural forms, a human form, a beast form, and an inanimate object of some kind that only awakened when they were bonded to a witch. 

It was common for witches to dictate that form for their familiars, forcing them to take on the form they wanted. A knife, a broom, a tome, a key, those were the most common. Sorcerers often wore their familiars in their object form, which were typically pins that sat on their jackets, as it wasn't uncommon for them to have more than one– a show of power and status. 

They could take on other forms, but those required spells. 

Satoru didn't know any of that until he had already had Utahime clinging to his neck for three years. 

And at eight years old, he threw quite the fit when his tutors demanded he force her to change.

"G'mornin', Utahime…" he murmured, and nuzzled his face into the soft scarf. She hated it when he did that, but this time, she didn't complain… 

"Good morning, Gojo… How are you feeling?" She asked, her voice echoing in his head.  

"Starving," he said and poured a perfect round of batter on the pan.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Why do you ask?" 

"You said my name…"

"Don't I always?"

"You know what I mean…" 

"Do you want any?" He asked as he flipped the pancake on a nearby plate.

"Just two please."

He nodded and busied himself with making the rest. 

He made himself four and Utahime the two she asked for and he took both plates to his little kitchen table. 

He felt Utahime shift into her cat form, but she stayed draped around his neck, so he used his left hand to feed her bits of her food– without syrup because she wasn't a fan of sweets– and ate his own food with his right. 

It would take him a week to travel to the capital, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to find someone to watch his shop while he was gone.  

He could just trap the inside, and trap anyone in place that broke in so he could deal with them when he got back. 

But if someone broke in the night he left, it would be at least two weeks before he got back, which meant they'd most likely be dying or dead. 

He might get a fine if the neighbors complained about the smell of rotting corpse coming from his shop. Plus the smell would be a bitch to get out. 

There was also a risk of legal trouble… 

He sighed and poked at his food. Maybe he'd get the baker's kid to watch his shop, or he could just seal it. That was the logical option. But it would also mean he'd lose two weeks of income—

"Gojo? Hello? Are you okay?" Utahime asked, her smooth voice cutting through his thoughts like a warm knife through butter. 

"Mhm, I'm just thinking," he said. 

"You've been thinking for fifteen minutes… you're never quiet for that long without something being wrong," Utahime said, her voice tinged with concern. 

He reached up and petted her between the ears. 

What would it feel like to sever their connection? He has always heard that severing a bond with a familiar always weakened the witch in question. 

That might be a good thing for me... 

It was why doing so was often used as a punishment. If a witch broke a law and they had a familiar, a forbidden spell would be used to forcibly break the connection. The familiar would then become property of the crown, and the criminal thrown in jail or cast away. 

But there were civil ways to pass on familiars, calling back to the transactional nature of the whole idea. 

He'd have to research the best way. He didn't want to risk hurting her. 

He knew family often inherited familiars from their aging kin. The ritual had to be done while the witch was still alive, or else the familiar would die alongside their master. 

That method felt like one that would work best for Utahime. And their link didn't feel as solid as it once was either… so it should be simple enough. 

Satoru got up to take care of the dishes then moved over to his study. 

It functioned like a mini library, and held all the books and tomes he owned. 

He skimmed the shelves until he found the one he was looking for and cracked it open in the middle. 

Utahime started to smack his face with her tail, but he paid her no mind, even when she got him in the eye.  The irritation only lasted a few moments. 

He found the section he was looking for and quickly looked it over. According to this entry, he'd need to burn the items that symbolized their bond. The first things they gave one another. 

Nowadays it was typically a contract, but… 

He slowly took his sunglasses off his face and stared at them. 

Utahime suddenly smacked his hand, and he dropped them. He let them fall. 

He heard a crack, and Utahime gasped, and she jumped off his shoulder.

"I'm sorry!… I was just trying to get your attention," she hurriedly said.  "You're being weird, I'm worried— I-I'll fix them for you—"

"No need," he mumbled and leaned down to pick them up. The lenses were indeed cracked. 

These represent our bond? Strangely symbolic I suppose… 

She gave him these years ago, as a thank you for the bow he got her, and because she noticed he squinted all the time from the light. He never went a full day without them.  It was strange though,  because he'd dropped them before, he's been punched in the face while wearing them, and they have never cracked. They didn't even have any scratches on them... 

Maybe their bond really was weak… 

He absently petted her neck, stuck his finger under the white bow that decorated her form in one way or another ever since. 

Around her neck as a cat, decorating her hair as a woman. 

The ribbon felt thinner than it used to be… 

Satoru reached over and grabbed the end of her bow. The first thing he gave her. She wore it every day since, and he couldn't think of a time where she didn't have it on aside from fresh out of bed. 

The ribbon was bright white, it never got dirty, but now it looked dull, thin, frayed… 

Strange, because aside from the fresh cracks, his sunglasses had been in perfect condition... 

Grimacing, he pulled the ribbon loose, but before he could completely remove it from her neck, she transformed, and her hands flew up to stop him, her slender fingers gripped tightly around his wrist.

"What are you doing??" She asked, sounding panicked.

But when Satoru looked at her, he wasn't really seeing her. 

He was looking at her magic. He was just noticing how faint his own magic was in the flow of hers. The core of her magic was once a pretty lavender. A mix of her warm fiery energy, and his bright whitish blue.

He only saw the warm hues now.

"When did that happen?" He whispered to himself. His energy still looked like it always had. The core of his essence was still tinted that familiar soft lavender. 

How long had she been hiding from him? She was blocking him out, but still letting him take from her so he wouldn't notice… 

And he hadn't. 

She really has drifted away… 

He let go of her ribbon and stepped away.  "I should open the shop," he mumbled and sent the book to his room, it blinked out of existence and he quickly left the study. 

Utahime rushed after him. "Gojo! Talk to me! What is going on? I know you're up to something! Tell me what it is!" She demanded.

Satoru unlocked the shop and turned around intending to sit on the counter to wait for potential customers, but was stopped by Utahime. 

She got in his face, her brows furrowed and her cute little nose scrunched in displeasure. "Talk to me!" She demanded again, her voice a little shaky, her energy a bit frantic. 

"Are you happy?" He asked suddenly, searching her face and her energy simultaneously, his eyes not quite focused.

As powerful as he was, he still hadn't been able to see Utahime drifting away from him. He was a bit insulted by it, though he wasn't sure if it was over his own failure, or the fact that she never said anything. 

Why hadn't she told him? 

Didn't she know it was dangerous to both of them to have a fragile bond? If their compatibility soured, one of his spells could blow up on him, and with how strong he was, it could be literal, it could kill him. 

He might have actually poisoned himself with a potion, the concoction going awry without him realizing, his magic not quite right. 

In fact, he had poisoned himself a few times recently. He thought it was his own failures that caused it, an ingredient he missed, or a step in the brewing he messed up. A slip from complacency. 

But… had it been something else? 

She could have died from an even longer list of risks… 

"W-What? Why are you asking me that?" Utahime asked, her brows furrowing deeper.

"Are you happy?" He asked again. 

"Of course… of course I am," she said. 

Her lip trembled, her eyes shook, the warmth of her magic warbled, and he knew the truth. 

He knew that she lied. 

Utahime just lied to him. Right to his face, and it felt like a stab in the gut. How often had she lied to him? When did she start doing that? 

He'd never lied to her.  He was as honest to her as humans were to the gods. He had no secrets, not from her. She knew everything about him, and here she was lying to his face! For how long? 

"Do you like your life? Do you like how it is right now, with me?" He asked quietly.

Her eyes shook once more, a subtle detail missed by everyone, everyone but him.  "Of course I do,  why are you asking me these stupid questions?"

Another lie… a deflection... 

He forced a smile and squeezed her cheek.  "Good! I'm just checking since you're so needy," he said around a dry laugh. 

"W-Wha?!"

The shop's bell chimed right then, and a small group of people filed in, shouting about the storm.

He sidestepped her and pushed his sunglasses back on, and even though he tried, even he could not see around the cracks in the glass. 

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, things continued to feel awkward between them. Utahime was quieter than she typically was, but Satoru figured that was because he didn't tease her nearly as much as he used to.  

He couldn't.  

The knowledge that things were going awry between them was a constant cloud on his psyche. He was too aware of everything he did, and he unintentionally zoned out for large portions of the day.  

Most of the time it happened after he noticed a glaring difference in Utahime's behavior. Each time he noticed one, he'd get lost trying to remember when she changed. 

From what he figured out so far, he found a vague time frame of when it started, but the why was still evading him.  

One thing that he noticed was different was how they tackled chores. 

Nowadays, all he really needed to do was snap his fingers and everything pretty much organized and cleaned itself in an instant. He still did a few things by hand, one going over sales and commissions, and what needed restocking, but everything else was done with magic. 

They used to do everything by hand, and he remembered getting into an argument with her about it two years into the business. 

He was twenty and tired of wasting each day running and closing up the shop. He wanted to go out and explore the city. They'd lived here for two years, and he barely got to explore.  Even though he encouraged Utahime to go out all the time, he was still feeling left out of the adventure. 

Plus he was tired of turning down all the invites he'd get from the ladies that would visit the shop under the pretense that he didn't have the time.  

Developing the spell to take care of all the grunt work was easy. It was a modification of one he used to help the scullery maids with the dishes at the castle.

But Utahime hated it. 

She didn't want him to make their lives easier, and fought with him over it until he promised not to use the spell for her side of the chores. 

Laziness is one of the worst things one can indulge in. Complacency will kill you one day. 

So he shrugged and agreed to let her keep fussing over things by hand while he zapped away his share of things.  

It worked. At least he thought it did. 

But now as he sat watching Utahime wash the dishes by hand, he wondered if she'd been right— again.  

He didn't get it though. This was such a pointless task and she still insisted on doing it manually. How could using a spell to get it done harm anyone? 

Satoru sighed and stood up from his spot at the table and slid in next to Utahime at the sink where he used to stand around five years ago. Sometimes they'd switch and he'd wash, and she'd do the drying, but he'd always been at her side in some way. They had always done things together. 

"Gimme that," he mumbled and swiped the dish out of her hand so he could dry it with the towel that she used just for this purpose. 

Her head whipped around to him, a glare already furrowing her thin brows. "What are you doing, Gojo?" She growled, already annoyed, already keyed up for who knows what reason. 

He just stared at her. He hadn't even done anything yet, and she was ready to chew him out already. Did she always react so aggressively all the time?

"I can do this," she snapped and attempted to shoulder him away when he tried to grab the next dish in her hands. 

"Don't want my help?" He asked, feigning offense with a dramatic gasp. 

"No! Go away and do something useful," she grumbled. 

"I am, isn't helping you useful?" He asked and slipped the next dish from her hands.

She scowled and tried to snatch it back, but he held it above her head. 

"No it's not!" She growled. "You're being difficult!"

" I'm being difficult? Hime, you're the one clogging the machine here."

She scoffed. "Excuse me? I was doing just fine before you decided to insert your annoying face into the mix!"

He sighed and put the plate in his hands away. "Let me help you."

"You can help by going away."

He frowned and crossed his arms.  "Why are you being so difficult? You really don't want my help?"

"No! And I'm not difficult, I would have been done by now if you hadn't come over to bother me," she said through her teeth. 

He huffed and dropped the towel on her head. "Fine, have fun," he said and walked away, a bit slighted. 

She shouted verbal slander at his back, and so he turned the water in the sink into solid ice so she could have an actual reason to call him an asshole. 

.

Utahime went out a lot, but Satoru was only now realizing how much she actually left. If she said anything at all, she typically said, see you later before she disappeared for the day, but that was no longer enough for him. 

"When are you coming back?" He asked around a mouth full of ice cream.

Utahime was in her human form. Something he noticed she did more often when she went out lately. Usually she stayed in her cat form for most of the day, sometimes days. Even though he often teased her over her outings, he knew she actually typically went out to sunbathe on the roof for most of the day, or sneak treats from oblivious humans, or to simply go on walks, spend time at the park.  She was a free spirit, and thrived on fresh air. 

Sometimes she'd share her sight with him at random times on her escapades to show him a human performance or a pretty flower that she found.  

Though, that was another thing she hadn't done in a long time… 

She'd change to her human form at home to do chores or sometimes when she joined him for supper, but she very rarely went out in that form. She even had her hair done in a fancy braid today. Is she actually meeting someone seriously? 

Utahime shrugged. "Later today. Don't blow anything up while I'm gone. "

He grimaced and shoved the ice cream aside, suddenly not in the mood for it. The last time he snapped she never brought it up again unless he broached the topic himself. She knew he wasn't proud of what he did, that he hated being weak, that he hated not being in control. 

And this wasn't the first time she's made a snide remark about his latest… episode. 

"Don't come back smelling like cheap booze," he shot back, irritated.  

She whirled on him.  "Excuse me?"

He shrugged. "At least go for higher quality. You know you can buy whatever you want if you put it on my tab— oh, unless the loser that's sniffing your ass can't afford it?"

She scowled and jabbed her finger in his face, but he didn't even flinch. "Watch it, Gojo! I don't comment on what you do in your free time, I expect that same respect."

He pushed her finger away.  "Hime-dear, I'm just telling the truth, cheap doesn't look or smell good on you."

She flipped him off and stormed out. 

He scoffed. 

"I want you back right at sunset!" He shouted after her, and just because he could, and maybe to be an asshole, he scorched that command into their bond. 

She would be compelled to obey, no matter what she was doing, no matter where she went. She would return at sunset, just as he commanded. 

Smirking to himself he carried on minding the shop, in a surprisingly good mood for once.  He expected a blow up tonight, but he let himself enjoy the day. 

Even though it was still raining, it was a relatively nice day. He turned up the charm on all the customers, sold twice as much as he would on a normal day, and when the sun began its descent towards that horizon line, he sat on the counter with a smirk and a mug of hot chocolate in his hand to wait for his precious ball of fury to burst through the door. 

And she did not disappoint.

"What the fuck, Gojo!?" Utahime shouted when she burst through the front door, the bell ringing loudly behind her. She was red in the face and breathless, as if she'd been running, her dress a tad out of place. 

Satoru looked over her quickly, taking note of her disheveled appearance with narrowed eyes.  

"Oh! You're right on time, Hime-dear,  I was starting to miss you~" he teased, grinning. "Got me waiting on you all by my lonesome."

"Why did you do that?!" She demanded, her voice damn near a screech. True music to his ears. 

"What are you talking about?" He asked behind a cheeky grin. 

"You know exactly what you did!"

"Nooo~ I don't, Hime, why are you so upset?" He asked as innocently as he could with a smirk plastered on his face, and whip cream on his lip. 

She threw her purse to the side and marched up to him.  "I was in the middle of—"

"A date?  Oof, so sorry," he said and hooked his leg around her to yank her closer to him.  "You shoulda just said so!"

She yelped and jumped away from him, "What the hell? Don't do that!"

"Aw, you don't wanna be close to me?" He pouted and kicked his feet out like a child.  "So mean~"

"What is wrong with you?"

"You should bring him here! You never introduce me to your little playmates~" he said and winked. 

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "Absolutely not! That's the worst idea you've ever come up with!"

He wiped his mouth and got off the counter and leaned down in her face. She stepped back and he grabbed her face in his hand and forced her to look at him.  

"Why don't I tag along next time?" He asked and slowly brushed his thumb over the corner of her lips, clearing away the smudge in her lipstick.  

She glowered at him.  "I changed my mind, that is the worst idea you've come up with."

He didn't think so, he thought it was a great idea but since he could smell alcohol on her breath, he let it slide. 

There was something else clinging to her that he wasn't a fan of, some kind of cologne that burnt his throat… 

He held his hands up in surrender. "Fine, be like that," he sighed dramatically and clapped his hands together.  "Well! Since you're here, you can help me close up the shop!" He said and turned to grab a broom from the supply closet. 

He heard her complain under her breath, but she started closing up the shop like he suggested. 

 He was in the middle of putting things away when he noticed something out of place on Utahime's shoulder. 

Careful not to draw her attention, he plucked a stray strand of hair off her dress. He held it up to the light and pursed his lips. It was short and brown, clearly not matching her dark violet, raven locks. 

And from what he could tell, there were faint magic residuals clinging to it. 

Figuring out who this belonged to would be so easy.  In fact, he could already sense something familiar about it… 

She's upgraded from humans, he mused to himself as he analyzed the hair. The question that really mattered though, was this individual a witch?

If it was, then there would be a problem. It was highly disrespectful to even touch another witch's familiar without explicit permission. But this…?

Oh she wouldn't… 

He could barely sit still. 

As soon as the shop was closed up Utahime stormed upstairs, but he let her go.

He had something to do anyway… 

He gave it a few minutes until he sensed her energy quiet down before he left the shop and held the strand of hair up. 

He encased it in his magic, absorbing the residuals left behind and a burst of information flooded his mind.

It did indeed belong to a witch.  A man that was older than him, but significantly weaker— though everyone was. 

The part that really got to him was why the energy was so familiar. 

"No fucking way…"

She wouldn't. But… maybe she couldn't tell?  But there was no way she couldn't… but even if she really couldn't tell who it was, she wouldn't do that! Not with a witch! She was much too proud. She hated how often witches took advantage of her kind for sins of the flesh. Unless… That's all she wanted? Still— 

That wasn't even considering how immensely disrespectful it was towards him!

Why would she do this? She can have anyone she wants! 

… !

The next thing he fully processed was that he was standing in the rain outside of the tavern Utahime liked to frequent. 

The owner of the residuals he was tracking was inside, and he knew without a doubt that it was a sorcerer . 

Why, Hime?... 

He blinked… 

… 

"Kusakabe! Long time no see!" Satoru said, his grin sharp. 

The man sitting on the barstool beside him jumped and looked over at him.  "Uh, do I know you?"

Satoru yanked his sunglasses off and shoved them in his coat pocket.  "You sure do~!" He said through his teeth. 

His eyes widened. "G-Gojo?! What– I didn't see you come in—"

"I would ask you why the hell you're here, but I know more than enough," Satoru said and threw his arm around his shoulder and yanked him close, looking him directly in the eyes, despite the man's attempt at pushing him off.  "If-I-so-much-as-catch a whiff of your gross-smoke-tainted-cologne on my Utahime again, I'll unzip your flesh with my bare hands— dick first, " he threatened, grin still in place. " Then I'll add a bit of salt and watch you writhe like the worm you are!"

"Whoa, what the fuck?! What are you even talking about?" Kusakabe demanded and attempted to shove him off again, but Satoru didn't let him. 

"The woman that you've been fucking around with, she's my familiar, you damned bastard," he snarled. 

"What?? I didn't know—"

Satoru dug his fingers into him and grabbed his collarbone.  "Bullshit!"

"Ow—! I didn't— besides, she approached me!" He ground out. 

Distantly Satoru heard glass shatter and people start yelling, but he was more focused on trying not to crush this bastard beside him.  

"She was drinking, you loser!"

"It was only a few!"

The pressure in the room got heavy, even the dust in the air froze and shook. 

"Look— I-I didn't know who she was— N-Nothing really happened anyway! She's actually really shy—"

"You're a fucking liar, Atsuya, I'm going to kick your ass– again , and this time, you won't even be able to crawl away!"

"I-I swear! Fuck— she— we just get a bit handsy, n-nothing else!" He said quickly— truthfully. 

Satoru blinked and refocused on him, a cheshire grin slowly forming on his face. The poor idiot was white as a ghost! 

"My previous point still stands— in fact, if you so much as cross her field of view– I'll know, and I'll find you, got it?" He whispered darkly. 

"G-Got it."

"Great~!" Satoru stood up and dusted himself off, literally throwing the particles that clung to Kusakabe back to him, residuals and all. "Oh! And if you tell her about this, I'll rip your throat out~!" He said, grinning.

"You're psycho!"

He laughed, giggled in amusement and turned around to leave, but froze when he noticed all the glass in the building was shattered. 

He sighed dramatically and turned back around, his dark coat whipping up from the sudden movement.  "Look what you made me do!"

This was Utahime's favorite tavern… He had to fix it, or else she'd find out for sure.  

Satoru sighed again and conjured up a piece of chalk. "This will be nice and quick, but don't you move, or I might forget where you are and pop you on accident," he said and quickly drew a small magic circle.  

He stepped in the middle and clasped his hands together, aiming to reverse all the damage instead of fixing it per say. Reversing it was slightly harder, but it would save all the ruined alcohol that had spilled all over the place. It was just inanimate objects anyway, it would be easy.  The forms still knew what shape they needed to take. He didn't have to warp anything,  all he had to do was give them the order to return to form.  

Keeping his eyes locked on Kusakabe's Satoru took a deep breath and gathered just enough energy to put the spell in motion.  All of the broken glass around them began to glow the same blue that pulsed from the circle at his feet before slowly reversing back to their original states, alcohol perfectly intact.  

"There!" He grinned and stepped out of the circle and erased it with his heel, spinning in a circle to follow the shape.  "Oh— one more thing," he mumbled and snapped his fingers, everyone's glass refilled, and then he pressed his fingers to his lips. "Bibe et obliviscere," he whispered under his breath. 

Everyone except Kusakabe took a drink from their glass, and a second later the normal chatter that typically filled the tavern resumed. 

"T-That's very illegal," Kusakabe said, eyes wide. 

"You and I both know you're not saying shit unless of course you want me to make charms out of your fucking teeth, if that's the case– then by all means~" Satoru said, and waltzed out of the building "I'll sell 'em for 75% off too!" He yelled over his shoulder. 

. 

As soon as he got back he took a long bath to relax and clear his head. He still felt a little jittery, but he was able to fully calm down with a few deep breaths. 

He had to make it up to Utahime somehow, because he could still tell she was pissed. It was fine though, she'd get over it.  She had to since he was so gracious and willing to forgive her grave transgression.

He said she approached him first... why? In what world would Utahime want a witch to touch her?

It didn't make any sense. Especially with how by the book she was! 

Unable to sleep, Satoru spent the night in the kitchen prepping food for the week. Utahime typically did this, but he needed something to do, so she was out of luck. 

Plus, it had been awhile since he prepped a week's worth of food. 

He made bacon and eggs for breakfast, timing it to be done as soon as Utahime woke up. 

As soon as he heard her little paws step into the kitchen he turned to her. 

"Mornin' Hime!" He said, smiling. 

She glared at him and jumped up on the table. "Mornin."

Satoru sighed and set a plate of food in front of her.  "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday."

She glanced up at him. "Oh? No way you're actually apologizing. What did you do this time?"

He pursed his lips. What did I do? 

Yeah, she was right, he hardly ever apologized, but he was honestly trying to extend an olive branch here. Even if she was still mad about him forcing her to cut her date short, he didn't think he deserved her attitude. 

He let her do whatever she wanted– something that was unheard of! All he asked for in return was a little respect that she seemed keen on depriving him of as of late… 

He shrugged. "Nothing, I know when I'm in the wrong, so I wanted to clear the air. I'm sorry, Utahime… I shouldn't have forced you to come home like that."

Her expression softened. "Oh… really?"

He nodded. "Of course! You already know I don't care if the whole town plays around with my pretty little pussy— so long as it isn't a witch, especially not a sorcerer~!" he smirked and all but slammed a cup of coffee in front of her. 

She flinched as the black liquid inside flew up out of the cup, but he effortlessly stopped it and pushed it back in the mug without batting an eye.

"Oh! But I'm sure you knew that, I mean, after what I went through— what we went through, almost dying, fighting for our lives, my freedom, my soul, and all that good stuff, something like that shouldn't even have to be mentioned~!" He finished with a wild grin. 

His sunglasses abruptly cracked across both lenses.

It shouldn't have needed to be mentioned! 

It was larger than the current cracks, deeper, and further obstructed his vision, splitting her little face into two sections. In one shard of his lense he saw the angry face full of resentment that she so often wore around him lately, in the other shard, he saw the girl that used to stargaze with him, the one that once smiled at every little spell he did, the one that eagerly bet her life on him, the girl that saved him… 

How could you…? A sorcerer, Hime? Really?

Her eyes were so huge as she stared at him that she looked like a toy. 

He was actually very angry still, and he only realized that when he saw her ears sink back against her head. 

She transformed into her human form. "Gojo, I'm s—"

He pressed his thumb and forefinger together, forcing her into silence. 

He barely recognized her anymore… 

Utahime shrunk down, her shoulders caving into her body. 

Satoru held her wide gaze until his own food burned, then he turned and threw the whole pan away,  and went downstairs to open the shop.

Chapter Text

Utahime stopped going out, but the tension between them only seemed to get worse. 

She always had a short fuse in comparison to him, but their proximity only seemed to make her temperament worse, and it was slowly rubbing off on him.

It was stressing him out.  

He could barely have a full conversation with Utahime without her getting mad at him. The more he focused on it, the more he noticed it happened. 

Lazy, annoying, idiot, petty little insults that once bounced off him like fluffs of cottonwood now stuck to his skin like burrs. 

Despite how it looked, he was actually trying to be civil with her, he was even going out of his way to be nicer to her, but that only seemed to make things worse.

… 

"Do you need anything from the garden?" Utahime asked as she changed to her human form so she could grab the basket that was left by the back door of the shop. 

"Oh, no, I already got everything," Satoru said while he organized some inventory. 

"What? Why?"

"Well, it's still raining, so I figured I'd just get the stuff myself so you won't have—"

"That's my job, Gojo!" Utahime snapped and dropped the basket by the door to march over to him. 

He repressed a sigh and turned to face her. "Like I said, since it's still raining I thought—"

" I thought we agreed not to use magic for my chores!" She growled, her face red with anger. 

"I didn't I got everything by hand, so—"

"That's not the point!" She yelled, her hands balled into fists. "Why do you keep trying to do my job?! Is my work not good enough for you?!"

He frowned deeply and tried to grab her hand but she ripped her hand away.  "Utahime… I'm just trying to help you, it's raining still, I didn't want you to get caught in it."

"We have an umbrella that works fine!" 

"Shouldn't you be thanking me?!" He asked, exasperated. 

"What for?!"

"I dunno– maybe for being nice!?"

She scowled and jammed her finger into his chest, her nail like a stake.  "You're not being nice, Gojo, you're infantilizing me!"

"What??" 

"I'm not weak! A little rain isn't going to kill me!"

"Can't you just say thank you?!"

"Gojo, you're not getting it!  I didn't ask you to do that!"

"You're making a mountain out of an anthill!" 

Her scowl deepened and she stuck her nose up. "Fine.   Thank you," she snapped and stormed off.

Satoru sighed heavily and hit his head against a nearby shelf. 

He used to help her in the garden all the time. They took turns often if the other wasn't available to tend the plants.  He thought she'd appreciate that he made the time to give her a hand, but evidently he only managed to upset her more. 

He didn't think Utahime was the territorial type, but maybe she was.  

But a few days later when he found her lounging in her cat form on the couch and he decided to sit next to her, he realized that maybe she really didn't like being near him. 

As soon as he sat down she got up and moved to the other end of the couch. 

Frowning, he moved back to her side, and heard her tsk as she stood up again. 

Typically, he'd laugh and shrug her off, but lately he'd become hyper aware of all her little reactions, and her little lip smack bruised him a little. 

He caught her when she jumped off the couch, and pulled her in close to his chest.  

"Let me go!" She snapped before he could even get a word in. 

"Oh stop, I just want to hold you—"

"Well I don't want to be held!" She growled and squirmed more.  

"C'mon, I know you like it when I pet you, stop pretending that you hate it!" He complained.

She escaped his hold and jumped a few feet away from him,  her ears low against her head.  "I am not pretending! I'm not a lapcat Gojo! In case you forgot!"

"Only because you pretend that—"

"I'm not! Don't touch me anymore! I hate it! I've always hated it!" She growled and rushed out of the room. 

He could only stare in shock at where she had been as her words slowly sank in. An uncomfortable chill seeped into his bones and he sat back with a sigh as he stared off into space. 

His eyes refocused on the sharp cracks splitting his vision and he pursed his lips.  

Her words just didn't sit right with him because he had memories of her happily snuggling up to his side. He had memories of waking up with her asleep on his chest or in the crook of his neck when he'd fallen asleep alone.

A simple pet between her ears made her purr, and he knew she hadn't been faking that. At one point she'd close her eyes and nuzzle into his palm whenever he held his hand out to her.  

Hadn't she? 

He grimaced and slouched low on the couch. The best thing would probably be to give her space. They weren't teenagers anymore, so it made sense in a way if she was different… 

He wanted to believe that's all it was.  He'd give her space, and simply wait for her to seek him out. 

Leaving her alone was harder than he thought. He always caught himself in the middle of reaching out to tug on her tail or poke her face. He caught himself before each time, and eventually figured out it was easier to avoid pestering her if he stopped trying to talk to her all together. 

And after a week he stopped initiating conversation as much.

When he wasn't watching the shop, he was lost in his head. Sometimes he drifted even while he was running the shop, and he would suddenly realize he was doing tasks he had no memory of starting. 

He learned the spell he needed to sever their bond quite easily, but he'd been spending most of his time trying to figure out just what went wrong between them. 

The best he got from asking her was,  I'm fine, I'm tired, or I just need a drink. 

Pressing her got him into an argument, so he stopped asking all together. 

On top of all that, sleep was evading him, and every day he was feeling just a bit worse for wear. It was harder for him to focus, his attention span was a wreck, he messed up potions more often, and he started to feel really sick… 

He needed a breather.

.

.

"What the hell is this?!"

Satoru turned around in his chair only to get smacked in the face by a flier. Unfazed, he picked it up to look it over, but when he saw what it was he set it aside. 

"An ad," he rasped out before clearing his throat  and turning back to his desk. His chest was hurting a lot lately, something as simple as breathing hurt. 

If it was really quiet, a small rattling could be heard with each breath he took.  

Healing himself didn't help, and he didn't want to bother Utahime, so he attempted to make himself medicine to cure whatever ailments he may have caught. 

Surprisingly, nothing seemed to work… 

"I know, moron! Why? You don't need an assistant!"  Utahime yelled.

He sighed and pressed his hand against his temple. Why did she sound so offended?  "Uh… I know I don't need one, but it'll be nice to not be glued to the shop every—"

"Then what am I for!?"

He laughed dryly. "C'mon, Utahime, I know you hate minding the shop… you always get upset when I ask you to, so I figured this would be a good solution," he said. "You should be grateful I'm finally taking your comments seriously."

She scowled and jammed her finger in his face. "I don't hate it! I just can't stand the kind of customers you cater to! I tell you every time that it isn't good to attract certain types to the shop!"

He sighed heavily and rubbed his temples again. "I've actually taken quite a lot of things off the shelf at your behest, you know?  And I've had to make a lot of compromises on the budget to do it… Where did you get this anyway?"

She crossed her arms. "Some woman brought it in, she wasn't even going to buy anything, she just kept asking for you—"

He stood up automatically. "Oh, she's a candidate then," he mumbled and hurried downstairs to see if she was still around. 

When he got to the counter he saw a blonde woman standing there humming to herself.

"Hello, are–" his voice was so rough he had to clear his throat. "–ahem– are you here for the job?" Satoru asked her.

She looked up at him and nodded, her cheeks flushing bright pink.  "Y-Yes! I'm Akemi, it's an honor to meet you, Master Gojo!" She said and reached her hand out to him. 

Utahime jumped up on the counter as a cat and swiped at her hand with a hiss.

Akemi gasped and jumped back, her eyes wide.

"Don't mind her," he said and tried to nudge Utahime off the counter, but she remained in place, surprisingly steadfast and solid.

He raised his brow in confusion, and she simply growled in response. 

"Ahem, so, you're not a witch… why do you want this job?" He asked the woman. 

Her blush deepened and she looked down. "W-Well… I need a job to help my family, and the ad didn't say it was restricted to witches only…" she mumbled. 

"Hm,  true…" he felt Utahime wrap around his neck as a scarf, just tight enough to be uncomfortable. 

"No. Tell her to go away," she said in his head. 

"Here," he said and conjured up a piece of parchment and a quill. "Write your name, address and skillset, I'll reach out with a response one way or another."

Akemi reached for the parchment, but he held it away from her and set it on the counter instead, laying the quill beside it.  

She moved over to it and bent over the counter so she could write down her information. 

Utahime squeezed him tighter and he grunted and moved over to the storage room so he could talk to her freely. 

"What?" He snapped, annoyed. 

She changed back to her cat form and jumped on a nearby crate. "What do you mean, what? I don't want her here!" She growled out. 

"Why not? She seems nice," he said.

"She's not needed, Gojo, you really want to cut your finances more to pay some girl we don't need?" Utahime asked, her fur starting to stick up. 

Satoru bit the inside of his cheek as he stared at her. She looked adorable. She was so puffed up. The last time he saw her like that was when they first met. 

She had been even tinier back then… tiny little ball of fury… 

"What's so funny?!" She growled angrily. 

He sighed and absently poked around at his shelves. "You're fussing for no reason, I'm just doing this so I don't have to bother you all the time, I thought you'd be happy, you know." He said in exasperation. "I'm tired of this— Tell me what you want, Utahime. Whatever it is, I'll do it."

Her ears flattened against her head. "I don't want her here."

"Then I'll just wait for the next candidate," he grumbled in defeat. 

"No."

"No?"

"We don't need another person!" She insisted, her tail flicking angrily behind her.

"I think we do though, I'd like to be able to study and practice my magic, I need to get better, and I don't want to bother you anymore, so this is the best option,  besides, I've been really tired lately," he said as calmly as he could. 

"You're just lazy, Gojo, you can't go a day without bothering me. You can't expect me to believe that!"

He scoffed in offense. He honestly didn't think she was serious when she told him she couldn't stand him, but now that he thought about it, maybe he'd been oblivious to it. And now she was doubting him? 

Now that he thought about it, maybe she was serious when she said she hated him. 

Did she regret the fact that she was bound to him? When did that even happen?

She'd been so steadfast in her support for him growing up.  His only light in an otherwise bleak existence.

When he spent every single day of his seventeenth year fighting, it was Utahime that gave him the drive to face each opponent. 

When he thought he couldn't actually make it to the end of the day it was Utahime that lent him her strength, her determination,  her stubbornness to finish the duel, to get out of bed and prepare for yet another fight. 

For a year straight, he fought two to three of the king's sorcerers a day, every day of the week until he was free. And for a year straight she was his strength, his courage… 

The last victory had been the hardest, the sweetest, it had been the only time in his life that he cried on his own accord.

He thought he was going to break, and as much as he hated talking about it, he knew he went a little crazy due to that whole ordeal, but she never left his side for that year. She was glued to his shoulder, he firmly believed it was her constant vigil that kept him from falling off the deep end.  She kept him in tact, she kept him together.

Satoru reached out to her and lifted her little face up, but she shirked away from him, an angry growl once again sounding through the air— haunting him. 

My little ball of fury… so unhappy… why? 

He was trying to save it– save them,  their partnership, their friendship , but he had no idea what to do. He really thought getting an assistant would fix the issue, but he had no idea she'd be so upset over it. 

His throat burned a bit, the feeling wasn't unknown to him, though it was uncommon. 

"Okay…" he mumbled in defeat. "I'll take the fliers down, will that make you happy?" He asked around the lump in his throat. 

She nodded. "Yes! That's what I have been saying, idiot. If you would have listened the first time we wouldn't have had to have this stupid argument!"

He frowned and pursed his lips in irritation. He could only brush off so much of her insolence before it really got to him. 

Moron, lazy, idiot… He was a fucking genius , and she knew it! He was a damned prodigy, a legend! And yet, she insisted on spitting in his face… 

Why… why… why? 

He knelt in front of her and grabbed her little face between his fingers again, tight so she couldn't pull away.

"Careful, Utahime," he muttered and squeezed her face ever so slightly. "You're clearly forgetting that you have the mouth you do because I have allowed it," he said, not bothering to hide his displeasure. 

He held her furious gaze until she caved and averted her eyes. 

"Watch the front," he demanded and left the room.  

He swept straight out of the shop, ignoring the long line of customers that were waiting to be helped. 

It was still raining.  

Satoru used one of the first spells he crafted to keep the rain from hitting him— limitless, as he called it. Like the name suggested, there wasn't really a limit to what he could do with it. Keeping things from touching him was just a fraction of what it could do. He rather liked the ambiguity and mystic that came with such a name. 

All he had to do was snap his fingers, and all of the fliers would turn to ash, but he went about taking them down by hand 

He needed time to think.

Every time he found a flier it burnt up when he touched it, leaving behind no evidence it had been there. Finding them was easy, each flier had a small trace of his magic clinging to it. It was so easy that he zoned out as he walked through the city.  

He didn't actually enjoy lording over the control he had over Utahime over her head, but she was making it difficult not to at least remind her.  

Maybe her ego was just as big as she claimed his was. After all, they were children when they bonded to each other, their magic grew together, just at closely as they had. 

They'd been together for all of the awkward phases of growing up, their lives merged together as closely as their souls were— at least how they used to be. 

They were closer to strangers now that he thought about it, as much as it felt wrong and out of place to even think. 

How could your own shadow not belong to you? 

If he'd actually done something to earn her ire he wouldn't have even considered making such threats, but he did nothing wrong. Nothing that he could think of at least, and most importantly, nothing of substance that he could get out of her. 

He caught his reflection in the glass of one of the shops lining the street and paused. He looked terrible, like he'd been washed out.  

Damn, he actually looked as bad as he felt… 

He had dark shadows beneath his eyes that he never really had before, it was a bit jarring. He looked a little eerie, almost like a specter. 

Frowning, he pressed his hand against his chest and sent yet another healing pulse through himself, but he still didn't feel any different. The pain in his chest remained, a sharp stinging pain that made each breath feel like tiny needles were stabbing into his nerves.  

"Maybe I just need a good nap…" he said to himself with a sigh. Movement in the reflection caught his eye, and he glanced up to see two black crows sitting on a light post behind him,  staring, watching him. 

Satoru spun around and they flew off.  He held his hand out towards them, aiming to force them back, imagined popping them, but evidently let them go with a sigh. 

"You're overthinking too much lately…" he said, grimacing.  

He felt a familiar presence suddenly step into his perimeter and he turned towards it with a scowl. 

"Thought I told you to get lost, Atsuya," Satoru spat, not in the mood to even fake pleasantries. 

"You actually didn't, besides I'm here on official business," Kusakabe said and boldly walked up to him. 

Satoru narrowed his eyes and cast infinity to keep him a good meter away from him.  "Whatever, now I'm telling you to get lost, I don't want to see you here again, this is my town."

"Sure kid, you can't claim a town like that," he grumbled and reached into his coat. He took out an envelope and held it out to him. "Here, this is a letter from His Majesty—"

Satoru set it on fire. The letter sparked a bright yellow, resisting the spell, before a snapping sound echoed out, and the letter was engulfed in bright blue flames that consumed even the ash left behind. 

"Whoa! Hey, what the hell? How did you do that?" Kusakabe demanded, eyes wide. 

"You're testing my patience!" Satoru growled before falling into a coughing fit.

"Uh– are you alright? You kind of look like shit."

A second uninvited guest appeared beside them.  A scrawny,  mousy looking man that he hadn't seen in a while.  "D-Don't say that!" He gasped, his voice trembling. 

Satoru glanced at him and relaxed slightly.  "Oh! Ijichi! Long time no see, I almost forgot this loser was your Master!" 

Ijichi gasped and bowed. "I'm so sorry for his unpleasant—"

"Oi! Don't apologize for me!"

Satoru lifted his hand up and closed it into a fist, forcing Kusakabe's mouth shut. "Ah-ah, I want to hear what he has to say,  go on, Ijichi, you have my permission to speak," he said, his grin wolfish.

Ijichi nervously glanced between him and Kusakabe before ultimately deciding what the best decision would be. 

"I'm sorry for his unpleasant attitude, he's just upset that you've been doing illegal things—"

Satoru smirked. "Oh, Atsu, I thought we agreed not to share secrets~!"

Kusakabe angrily argued back muffled nonsense.

"H-He didn't m-make any reports!!" Ijichi gasped. 

Satoru sighed dramatically and shook his head. "Fine, I'll let this slide, just because I like you, Ijichi~ Tell me, where were you when me and Atsu here were hanging out?  You were woefully missed."

"Oh, um… thank you, Master Gojo… I was… Well,  I was actually researching the weather anomaly, " the scrawny man said.

Satoru smirked. He was going to throw his weight around a little more. "Aw, of course he's got you doing all the grunt work,  you know, Ijichi, if you ever get tired of Atsu here, you can always come work for me, I'll pay you and everything!"

Kusakabe interjected with more muffled nonsense— annoying. 

"Oh, uh, I appreciate the offer but, I could never—"

"Just keep it in the back of your mind, let it simmer a little," Satoru said with a grin.

"O-Okay…"

"Great! Now can you tell me what your loser Master wants?"

Ijichi nodded and cleared his throat. "We were sent to investigate, and put a stop to the abnormal weather patterns—"

Satoru held his hand out as thin drops of water bounced off his infinity. "Yes, yes,  you mentioned. How's that working out for you?"

"Erm… we're in the process!"

"Good luck~"

"Uhm… the letter!  It was a summons, His Highness wants you to report to the capital…" Ijichi finally explained. 

Satoru rolled his eyes. "Of course… Well! You've done your job so you can get going now."

Ijichi didn't budge. "Uh, could you please release Master Kusakabe?"

"Eh? He's not stuck to the ground," Satoru made a shooing motion. "Go on, bu-bye."

"H-His voice, Master Gojo…"

"Oh! Shoot!" He snapped his fingers. "I was hoping you'd forget," he said and finally opened his hand, releasing Kusakabe from the grip he had on him.  

"Damn, Gojo, you know, you could help with the damn rain, that way, we can get out of here faster," Kusakabe complained. 

He leaned back on his heels and hummed and hawed. "Uhh… weelll— No."

Kusakabe sighed and turned to leave.  "Let's go,  Ijichi."

"Right!" He said and returned to his pin form on Kusakabe's jacket.

Satoru watched them leave before wandering off to sit by the docks. 

He sat down at an abandoned pier and looked out across the water to where he knew the capital was. It would take a week to get there by horseback.

As much as he'd love to snub the old bastard, he didn't think it was a good idea to keep delaying the inevitable… He didn't think he'd ever willingly go back. 

Grimacing, he took out the letter the knight had dropped off for him a few days ago.

He hadn't read it yet, but he had a feeling he knew what it said. They always asked him to go on complicated missions for them, and he always refused, no matter what they offered him. What was more valuable than the freedom he already had? They couldn't pay him enough to make up for what they took from him… 

He tore it open and looked it over. To his surprise, there was only one sentence. 

Get your ass down here kid, you've finally pissed off the wrong person. 

"Oh," that was not what he expected. Even though the letter wasn't signed, he knew that hand writing. It belonged to one of his old teachers, Yaga, the only Sorcerer part of the king's army that refused to fight him when he challenged the crown. 

That refusal got him demoted severally, but he did not waver in his resolve. He's just a kid! He had shouted in protest. 

And though it got him demoted, that refusal had earned his old teacher a spot on Satoru's very small list of people he actually respected. 

A much better thing to be a part of in his humble opinion… 

Satoru sighed and tucked the letter in his coat. If Yaga was messaging him, then it must be serious. There was also a possibility that they were giving him a hard time because of the weather. And as much as Satoru pretended not to care, he didn't actually want to give the old man a hard time… 

The weather was one of the things the crown had on its list of forbidden things to mess with— a shame too, since magic could help a ton with drought. 

Luckily, one could apply to have a court ordered sorcerer travel to a town affected by a dry spell to get it to rain, but the application process was long and strenuous. 

Though, it was an understandable restriction that was put in place after a couple of witches caused immense flooding a few years back that ended up destroying two towns… 

He wasn't really worried about that happening now, even if it had been raining for a little over a week. Besides, The Crown already had someone out here to take care of it. 

The thing that was worrying him was the growing rift between Utahime and him. 

No matter what he did it only felt like he was making it worse.

But he owed her his life, and he thought it was worth doing his best to make her happy, but he was starting to think that meant setting her free. 

Asking Utahime what she wanted hadn't helped things at all, because she seemed keen on lying to him, and that only made him feel worse. So he stopped asking.

There was a saying that Yaga used to say about impossible things— it's like reversing the flow of a river. 

Some things weren't possible, but wasn't that why he was born? To do the impossible? 

He could do it.

If anyone could reverse the flow of a river, it would be him. 

But it wouldn't be natural… 

He didn't want to force Utahime to be happy… even though it would be easy…

 She wouldn't be Utahime anymore— at least not his Utahime… his Hime… 

The sun was sitting on the horizon when he felt Utahime's presence approach. She jumped next to him, soaked from the rain, and when he saw her, he couldn't help but smile. 

She looked hilarious, drenched to the bone, a sad little cat, drenched, when she could have changed to her other form and used the umbrella by the door. 

Unfortunately as soon as she looked at him she growled. "Don't laugh! Why are you just sitting here?" 

He sighed heavily and bent his leg so he could lean his cheek on his knee.  "Are you on the rag or something? Or do you get heats like real—"

She transformed and swung to slap him. He high fived her, knocking her hand away. 

"What the fuck, Gojo?!" She growled angrily.

He grabbed her face tightly and yanked her close to his face. " Why are you so irritable lately?" He asked, annoyed. 

Her eyes widened and she tried to pull away, but he tightened his grip until her cheeks were comically squished. He would have smiled if he wasn't so annoyed himself. 

He couldn't tell if his irritation was his own or influenced by hers, but it was definitely much stronger than he could remember feeling. 

" Why?" He demanded and shook her face a little. 

Her eyes widened and she looked down. "I-I'm sorry…I—"

"I don't want an apology, Utahime, I want a fucking answer!" He said through his teeth. "What is going on? All you do is yell at me lately!"

"Let me go! You're hurting me! " 

His stomach dropped and he immediately let her go. Hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do… 

A heavy silence settled between them, and to his surprise, Utahime shifted back into a cat and hesitantly nudged his hand with her nose. 

On the third nudge she managed to get her head under his hand, and he glanced down, noting how her whole head was hidden beneath his palm.

A smile worked its way onto his face and he scooped her up and pulled her closer, encasing her in his infinity, shielding her from the rain. He held his other hand over her and pulled all of the water off her body.

She surprised him again by snuggling into the fold of his arm.  

He sighed and pulled her up to his chest and leaned forward against his knees, squishing her closer to him. She squeaked a little from the pressure, but didn't try to leave like he expected, so he buried his face in her fur and focused on her heartbeat. 

It was fluttering faster than he thought it should be, and he absently wondered if her form affected her heart rate since smaller creatures tended to have faster beats.

But the thing that occupied his mind the most right now was how much he was going to miss her. 

It was pretty clear to him right now that there was no saving their bond. He could tell even now how thin it was.  

He pressed his face further into her fur and closed his eyes.  

If he wanted to preserve their friendship it just made the most sense to cut the remaining threads that bound them together.  

For whatever reason, be it time or something unknown, they'd drifted, and his Hime wasn't really his anymore, and he didn't realize it until it was too late. 

Maybe it was because he gave her too much freedom, he wasn't sure. 

Cutting the bond now would at least make it so they could remain friends– at least it should preserve whatever friendship they still had. 

He reached up and gently pet her between the ears and subconsciously tightened his hold on her further. 

Once again a voice in the back of his head urged him to force her into submission. He'd be well within his right to do so, well within his right to break her– just a little. 

He could soften her up a little— His fingers snaked around her neck— he could make her a little more pliant, force her to be more agreeable. Turn her into his perfect little shadow… 

She wouldn't even know! 

He absently pressed his fingers into her tiny little throat.

Such a tiny little thing causing him such a huge inconvenience… 

But she wouldn't be my Hime anymore… 

But did that really matter? If he was going to lose her regardless, wouldn't it be better if he still got to keep her by his side?  

She belonged to him didn't she? All he had to do was remind her. 

She wouldn't know, but he'd know. 

He couldn't do it. Damnit... 

Sighing, he went back to petting her. 

Satoru didn't care what people thought of him. They could curse and hate him all they wanted and he wouldn't even bat an eye.  

Utahime was the only one who's opinion of him actually mattered, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, his ego couldn't survive it if she grew to actually hate him. 

He was already struggling with the idea that she was dancing on the edge of completely writing him off. Why else would she be disrespecting him so easily? 

His throat began to burn again and he quickly forced it away because lately, whenever that happened the burn spread to his eyes… 

That was the last thing he wanted. 

She started to purr a few moments later and he couldn't help but smile.  

Such a little liar…   He thought ruefully. 

The small vibrations from her purrs seemed to help ease the strange pain in his chest, like ice on a bruise. 

Satoru sat with her until the sun set, watched the ball of fire until he could no longer see its light before he stood with a sigh and carried Utahime home. 

The shop was closed up, everything cleaned and put away. He noticed a list pinned to his board in her handwriting recording all of the things out of stock. 

• Sleep tonic
• Weather ward
• Weather charms
• Wealth charms
• Protection potion
• Flu Elixir 

At the bottom under a section labeled: Special requests, were two things. Love potion x2, and a knowledge spell. 

He sighed and walked straight to his room. He flopped down on his bed and tucked Utahime close to his chest, bracing himself for her to freak and jump away like she always did.

Except this time she didn't, and he almost wished she did, because her staying only made the thought of saying goodbye that much harder. 

"I've been summoned to the capital," he mumbled into her fur. 

"About the rain?" she whispered. 

"Kinda, mainly for something else… I got a letter from Yaga, he didn't really say what it is, but it's him, so I know it must be serious, though I imagine they want to see me about the storm too…"

"You're not going, right?" She asked softly. 

He sighed again and shifted under his blankets, keeping her close.  If this happened a few weeks ago, he wouldn't have even read the letter. He would have torn it up in the knight's face and turned it into colorful confetti, maybe even added a little horn sound for the effect. 

Now? 

"I'm going…"

"What? Why?"

"I need to… take care of a few things down there, so I might as well see what the old man wants," he said. "And if he needs help, the least I can do is hear him out."

"Right…okay, when are we going?"

"We'll set out tomorrow," he sighed.

Chapter Text

When Satoru walked into the kitchen in the morning, he was surprised to see Utahime standing by the woodstove, brewing something. 

Whatever it was it smelled pretty good, it left a slightly sweet aroma in the air. 

As soon as she saw him she quickly climbed on the counter to reach into the cupboard.

"G-Gojo! You're up early, I thought you'd sleep longer…" she mumbled. 

He leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms. Her energy was very muted today, which was odd because lately it was always so hectic. 

"I made something for you," she mumbled when he didn't respond.  "Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?" She asked, her tone surprisingly soft. "I-I heard you having trouble breathing last night… is everything alright? Why didn't you make yourself medicine?"

"I tried," he sighed and lifted his sunglasses so he could rub his eyes. "You were too angry to listen." 

She frowned and bit her lip. "Oh… and you've made medicine?"

"Mhm, nothing is working…"

"What?" Her frown deepened and she carefully poured her mixture into his mug. "Did you poison yourself again?"

He shook his head. "Not this time," he murmured, his voice was pretty rough now, even after clearing his throat he sounded bad. 

Still looking so troubled, she moved over to him and held his mug out. "Can you… try this? I'm not sure if it'll help but…"

He silently accepted the mug from her and inspected the contents. The liquid was a dull orange, he could smell ginger and something citrusy. On the surface it looked like some kind of thick tea, but he could feel her warm magic swirling in it, giving it a deeper, different kind of warmth above simple temperature. 

He was shocked how soothing just the first sip was. It warmed him so suddenly that he visibly shuddered. It gave him goosebumps. 

She watched him closely, her brows furrowed in concern. "How do you feel?"

He moved over to the table and sank down on the chair with a sigh. "Better…" he mumbled and took another drink, this time much larger. It made him shiver again, and he had to set the mug down so as not to spill it. 

She changed into her cat form and jumped up on the table. "How much better?" She asked quietly. 

He stared at her for a few beats then pointed to the chair across from him. "Change back," he demanded just as softly. 

She hesitated for just a beat before she jumped on the chair and changed back to her human form. 

He just stared at her as she sat there worrying her lip with her teeth, her eyes downcast, and her shoulders caved in on themselves.  

He let her squirm while he watched her magic energy start to swirl around restlessly. It wavered and shook almost as if she were frightened. He found that curious, what would she have to be afraid of? Surely no one would dare to hurt her while he was around.

Satoru absently sipped at the drink she made for him while he stared at her. Each sip soothed the bruising pain just a bit more until the ache was muted in the background. It was still there, but he felt so much better that he could ignore the remaining pain. 

He also couldn't help but notice this was the first time they sat together so calmly in quite a long time– even if it was somewhat forced, though to be fair, he wasn't keeping her from leaving. 

"Gojo?" She whispered, still so uncharacteristically soft.

"You're afraid, why?"

"I'm n—"

He narrowed his eyes and she silenced herself. 

"You've also lied a lot lately," he murmured and slowly drew a small magic circle on the table the size of his palm, scorched it into the wood like fire on a page. "Neither of us is moving until you answer my questions."

The fear he felt in her energy spiked, and he frowned as the cold whisper of it pulled at his psyche. 

"You're afraid," he said again. 

He counted ten seconds before she nodded. 

"Why?"

"Y-You… never get sick…" she whispered. 

"And?"

She frowned and squirmed in the chair. "A-And I'm worried…"

"Mh, but that's hardly a reason to be afraid, Utahime," he drawled as he watched her, never taking his eyes off hers. 

"It is! I should have know… I don't understand why I couldn't feel that you were ill!" She said, her voice trembling.

"And that makes you afraid?"

Her frown deepened and she squirmed a bit more, obviously attempting to get up in vain. "I-I don't want to lose you…" she finally whispered after failing to stand three times. 

He smirked. "Why? 'cause you'll die too?"

Normally, if a witch got sick, their familiar would also experience the same symptoms. They even shared physical pain. So he found it curious that Utahime seemed completely unaffected. It was bittersweet, because on one hand he didn't want her to be in pain, but on the other, didn't that just explain how thin their connection was now? 

That it deteriorated so quickly was a bit jarring, he couldn't make sense of it. 

"No!" Utahime snapped, her brows deeply furrowed. "I don't want to lose you– because I... care about you. It has nothing to do with myself. Why is that so hard to understand?"

His brows rose in surprise.  He hadn't expected that at all, and he was momentarily stunned. "You... still care about me?" He asked, unable to hide his shock. She hadn't given him any reason to believe that as of late... 

She nodded, and strangely,  her fear only seemed to increase. "Of course I do... you're my friend..."

"Hm, but you're still afraid, what for? Is it me?"

She shook her head. 

"Not afraid of me… yet you are trembling, why?" He asked and looked her over once more, trying to see if he could find the reason why she seemed so terrified. 

"I-I'm… afraid of... of what you might learn…" she whispered, her large eyes beginning to water. 

He smiled wryly and finished the contents in his mug, the warmth gave him a final chill, and he sighed as the relief swept over him. It wasn't perfect, but he felt so much better. 

"I already know, Hime," he murmured as he pushed the mug aside. 

She gasped and she sat up straighter. "W-What?! H-How? I tried so hard to— Y-You're not mad??" 

Satoru sighed and carefully took his sunglasses off so he could see her unobstructed. "Furious, actually…" he thought he was over it, but seeing that bastard yesterday only refreshed the bitterness festering in his gut.

The color drained from her face. "I-I'm sorry! I… I don't know what to say, I really didn't intend for this to happen!"

He frowned. "What do you even mean? He said you approached him first, and he wasn't lying, Utahime."

Her eyes widened further. "W-Wha? Who are you– what?" 

"You really don't know? Are there more?" As he asked it, his chest felt tight. He was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. 

She had been drinking, so maybe she didn't completely realize she was messing around with Kusakabe. He knew that probably wasn't the case, but he wanted to give her that… 

But how could she not know he knew after he hinted at it previously?

"I-I don't understand, Gojo…" she whispered honestly. 

He huffed and leaned forward across the table. "I know about Kusakabe, Utahime. I found his hair on your dress. You've been seeing him, even after what we went through… How could you?"

A storm of emotions passed through her that he didn't quite understand, but when she took a deep breath, the deep fear he was feeling didn't feel as prominent anymore. 

"I… I didn't think about it at first… he surrendered the fight pretty quickly… so… I guess… I thought it was okay," she whispered. 

Satoru sighed and leaned back in the chair again. Kusakabe had surrendered early on in the fignt– the coward that he was. 

"You still should have known how I'd feel about that," he said, frowning.

"You're right… I shouldn't have even talked to him… it was shameful," she whispered and hung her head. "I'm so sorry…"

He tapped his finger on the table. "No. Look at me until we are done here. Or I'll make you."

She frowned and slowly looked him in the eyes again. 

"I thought you were against the idea of witches using your kind for pleasure, do you not find it disgusting anymore?" He asked curiously. 

She started to worry her lip between her teeth again, and that fear slowly resurfaced. "It is!" She said as her eyes continued to water. "It's degrading and shameful..."

"And yet, you approached him first… tell me, why is that?" He asked slowly. 

She started to tremble again, and when she didn't speak he leaned forward slightly. 

"Tell me, Utahime."

Even her voice trembled when she spoke. "I-I wanted… t-to feel what it was like…" 

"Be specific."

The tears finally rolled down her cheeks. She tried to speak a few times but her voice was nothing more than a terrified whisper. 

Satoru sighed and asked what he already knew. "What? Being pleasured by a witch?"

She flinched, and wiped her face as she slowly nodded. 

He smirked, slightly amused. "So, what was it like? Did you enjoy stooping down to such a lowly state? Were you going to let him fuck you?"

Her face flushed a bright scarlet and she looked away. "G-Gojo!"

"Ah-ah, eyes on me, Utahime. I didn't give you permission to look away. Disobey me again, and I'll lock your neck in place, understand?" He asked as the corner of his lips twitched up into a cold smirk.  

Her eyes widened further and she nodded quickly. 

"Do. You. Understand?" He slowly repeated. 

"Y-Yes!" She squeaked. 

"Yes, what?"

"I-I understand you!"

His smirk grew. "Soo? Don't leave me hanging here~ What was it like? Did he call you a good girl? ~ Maybe he called you sweetheart? Did he make you get on your knees? Did you wish he did? Were you excited at the idea of taking his cock?" 

"G-Gojo, stop, please!" She begged quietly. 

"Oh, but why? I deserve to know. You know how disrespectful you were being— have been. He said you were shy, I can hardly believe that. My Utahime isn't shy. She's prickly, she's bitchy, she's proud and stubborn. She would never degrade herself like that. She would never let a witch touch her like she was some worthless whore."  

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, more tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"Answer the question, Utahime," he demanded. 

"I-I liked… and hated it at the same time…" she whispered. 

"Were you going to let him fuck you?" He asked again. 

"Y-You're being cruel…"

"I'm being quite gracious, Utahime. Surely you know that. You've seen it happen many times at the capital, how your kind is treated for so much less. Surely you know if I was anyone else, you would be dead for this," he said, his lips pursed. 

More tears spilled down her cheeks. "I was… Considering it…"

"Hmm… because you wanted to know what it was like," he mused.

"Y-Yeah…"

"And after still partially hating being touched by a witch, you were still going to open your legs," he tsked and shook his head. "Shameful indeed."

"Gojo please stop… I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" She whined softly. 

"If you wanted to be used so badly, you could have just asked me," he said, smirking. "Is that why you're so angry? You want to be fucked~?  I could fuck you, Utahime, if that's what you want."

"No! S-Stop it!" She cried and covered her face with her hands.

He reached forward suddenly and snatched both of her wrists in his hand and pinned them to the table. "Is that what you want, Utahime? Do you want me to fuck your manners back into you?" He asked, grinning. "Do you want me to fill your pretty little mouth with my come? Hmm~? I'll even make you swallow like a good little girl."

She looked away. "N-No! How could you say that?! T-That's taboo! It's forbidden!! Stop it! Please!"

He felt a sudden stab of pain deep in his chest, it hurt like a bitch. He tasted iron, but he ignored it. 

He grabbed her face with his other hand and forced her to look at him. "But you wanna know what it feels like~ you were going to do it anyway! I could do it right now if you want~! All you have to do is ask."

"P-Please stop, Satoru…" she whispered softly.

He blinked once and finally realized just how many tears were soaking her face. Even his hand was wet from the amount of tears pouring down her cheeks. 

He inhaled sharply and let her go and she immediately hugged herself. 

He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair.  He hadn't intended to make her cry. He didn't even plan on saying any of that. It just came out. 

"I'm… sorry Utahime…" He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know where that came from… I wouldn't hurt you like that…" he grimaced and rubbed his face again. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm losing my grip on things too easily lately…  

She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater. "It's fine… I deserved it…"

He frowned and reached for her, intending to wipe her face, but she flinched away. 

He froze and let his hand fall back to the table. Biting his cheek he erased the seal on the table, releasing them from the invisible restraints.  

He expected her to run away, but she stayed seated, so he tried to reach out to her again.  

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he murmured and gently cupped her cheek. She tensed and he bit his lip as he gently wiped her tears away with his thumb. 

She didn't say anything, but she let him wipe her tears away without a fight.  

"Did… Did the potion help at all?" She quietly asked as she stood up, her eyes downcast. 

"It helped quite a lot actually…though I could probably use another cup..." he mumbled and pressed hand against his chest. It still felt like he had a stab wound, or was it more of a burn? Either way he was starting to feel lightheaded. 

"I'll get you more," she said and grabbed his cup and quickly moved over to fill it up again.  

The relief was immediate, and he slouched in the chair with a sigh when it faded back to a dull pain in the background. 

"Thank you," he said and smiled slightly, wanting to lighten the heavy atmosphere. 

"But… you're not better?" She asked, frowning. 

"Hm, I don't think so… I should probably see Shoko when we get to the capital, just in case…" he said. 

She nodded and changed into her cat form, but that only made it more obvious that she was upset, because her ears were low against her head, and her tail was limp.

He tried to leave her be, he really did, but he couldn't stand seeing her look so small and sad.

With a deep breath, he leaned down and quickly scooped her up, and tucked her in tight against his chest. 

She yelped in surprise, but didn't struggle to leave like she has lately, so he kept her close.

He carried her over to the couch and sank down with a sigh. He gently petted her until she started to purr, and after a few moments he tilted her face up and silently urged her to look at him. 

"You don't really hate this, do you?" He asked quietly. 

"N-No… I don't," she whispered. 

He smirked and gently rubbed the pad of his index finger against the bridge of her cute little nose. "I knew it…"

She closed her eyes and hid her face from him. 

He could tell she was embarrassed, felt the timid waver of her magic shake within her.

"Why are you so embarrassed? It's not like I'm going to tell anyone about this," he murmured and gently scratched along her jaw and down her neck. "You can be my sweet little lapcat at home and a mean angry bitch to everyone else," he mused.

"Don't say that…" she grumbled.

"Why not? I think I should. You've had it backwards lately. I don't want anyone else seeing this side of you," he said and tightened his grip on her. 

"I'm sorry…" she mumbled. 

He laid down on his side and tucked her in close, and he smiled to himself when she didn't attempt to escape like usual. 

"Enough of that already… it's tiresome…" he said, sighing. 

"I'm s—"

"Ah-ah, shhh," he murmured and hid his face in her fur. 

He laid there in silence, focusing on her rapid little heartbeat, and her comforting little purrs as he slowly dozed off, feeling at ease for the first time in days.  

...

He woke up feeling surprisingly rested, he noticed there was a blanket tucked around him, but Utahime was still purring in his arms, so it could only mean she left to grab a blanket and returned to his side. 

He smiled and snuggled in further into the warmth of her fur. He didn't want to get up.  He'd be perfectly content with staying here like this forever. 

Unfortunately as soon as she noticed he was awake she squirmed out of his hold and jumped on the floor.

She changed into her human form as soon as he sat up to grab her. He kept going with the momentum. It happened quickly. A second later he had her in his arms, and he was face to face with her bright red face looking into her pretty amber eyes. 

"Ah! G-Gojo, what are—"

He cupped her face with his hand and pressed his thumb against her lips.  "Shh, I'm thinking we have a new rule, inside voices while inside. Or else we'll be forced to whisper for an hour~" he said, smirking. 

His smirk quickly grew to a grin when he realized that Utahime would always lose. 

"You can break the charm by giving the one you were yelling at a kiss~" he added mischievously. 

Her eyes somehow widened further. "N-No don't do that!" She begged, muffled slightly as he was still pressing his thumb against her lips. 

"It's too late. It's done~," he said with a laugh. 

She scowled and struggled in an attempt to get away, but he quickly moved over her before tightening his grip on her face, pinning her to the couch.  

Her heart rate spiked, along with a thick wave of fear that threw him off kilter. Did she think he was going to hurt her? 

Frowning, he let her go and leaned back. "Hey, you okay? Why are you so scared?"

"I'm not scared!"

His brows rose in surprise, but unfortunately couldn't hide his grin when she spoke next– in a whisper. 

"I'm just annoyed!"

"Mhm," he took a deep breath to school his grin down and cleared his throat. "You know I wouldn't hurt you, right Utahime?"

"I know…" she growled and scrambled to her feet with a huff. "Shouldn't we be getting ready to go now?"

He stared at her for a few beats until she started to fidget, then stood and slowly leaned down into her face. Once again her energy spiked with fear, though it was quickly muted, as if she was trying to hide it. 

"What are you so afraid of?" He asked, his concern growing. "Did someone hurt you? Is that why you've been lashing out?"

Her eyes widened. "No!" then even quieter. "No. I just… I like my personal space…" 

"Hmm, alright then… you do know if you need help, or if someone is giving you a hard time, you can tell me. I'll make it right. I'll make them pay. I'll make them cry. Whether you're short changed, stood up, or hurt,  all appropriate bones will be broken," he said, serious and void of his usual amusement.  

She looked away and turned back to her cat form."Thank you for the reminder… but you don't need to go that far… and can we get ready to leave already?" 

"Hmm, 'suppose so, go on and pack up then, and could you rent us a horse when you're done?" 

"Okay," she said and scurried off. 

He watched her energy through the walls as it spiked randomly while she rushed around her room. She seemed so frazzled, and he felt a bit to blame over her unease.

He figured she was still upset with him over what he did in the kitchen, and he couldn't blame her for that. Frustrated or not, he didn't want to purposely upset her like that again. 

It was a complicated issue though. Because on one hand, forcing her to bend a little broke a lot of the tension he'd been feeling lately. 

And he didn't like seeing her cry, but he simultaneously liked the idea that she may finally understand the grief she put him through lately. 

It was a double edged sword. 

Maybe he really should push Utahime around a bit, because as much as he didn't care for the societal roles and standards regarding the place of familiars, putting Utahime in her place seemed to have fixed the issue. 

The only thing he had to figure out was whether or not that fix was an actual fix, or just a sloppy patch. 

He sighed and took his sunglasses off so he could rub his eyes.  The way her energy seemed to warble and spike had him thinking it was more of a patched fix.

And nothing short of perfection would be good enough for him. But this would have to do for now at least… 

Something one of his tutors said resurfaced suddenly and he grimaced because while he hadn't before, it was starting to make sense.

True respect can only come from fear. This doesn't necessarily mean terror, but a healthy dose of fear will keep even the most unruly soft and compliant. 

Utahime walked back into the living room with her bag and frowned when she saw him standing there. 

"Why are you just standing there?"

"Why are you just standing there?" He said at the same time. 

She frowned but didn't say anything more. 

He stared at her until she started to fidget again before speaking. "Be a good girl and go pack my stuff too," he said as calmly as he could, curious to see her reaction. 

She always got so heated when he said things like that, but he was always teasing when he said it. How would she react now? How would she react when he didn't even crack a simple smile? Especially when the shadow of the morning still hung over them. 

Just like he expected Utahime frowned. But she didn't say anything, that was unexpected. Her cheeks flushed and her pretty little nose scrunched before she hung her head and silently went to his room.

Not even a peep of protest? He wasn't used to that. He wasn't sure if he liked it. 

He got himself something to eat while he mulled it over and when she returned with his bag he held out a sandwich he made for her. 

"Go rent us the horse now," he said as he analyzed her every movement. 

This time her lip stuck out in a pout and she silently accepted the sandwich from him. Her grip on it was tight enough to dent the bread, and he knew she wasn't pleased. But she just nodded once and quietly went downstairs and out the building. 

Satoru sighed heavily and rubbed his hands over his face. He definitely didn't like her silence. 

"Maybe I should wipe the last five years from both of our memories," he thought aloud. He could do it easily too.

Then he could leave himself a note to be more observant so hopefully, he could catch the exact moment things started crumbling. 

And that was probably the worst part of being as strong as he was, because he honestly saw no problem with that. If he did it to both of them, Utahime couldn't be mad, but he knew she'd be upset should she ever find out somehow. 

Maybe he should just ask her what she thought about the idea. 

Yeah it was illegal, he knew that would be the first point she'd say, but who would know? 

Losing five years wouldn't even be that much of a big deal in the grand scheme of things because they could live for a long time. Five years was nothing compared to fragile humans. 

While Utahime was gone Satoru snuck into her room to snoop through her stuff. 

If things went the way he was dreading they would, Utahime wouldn't be coming home, so he wanted to make sure she had all of her favorite things with her… 

He dug through her closet, looking for the things that had a lot of her magic energy clinging to it, knowing it meant she wore or used the item a lot.

He grabbed a few dresses and various stockings, but when he opened up the drawer with the strongest residuals, he froze. 

Is that my shirt?

Curious, he took one out and held it up. It was a light blue tunic he tossed when he was a teenager because it didn't fit him. This one had been one of his favorites. He used to wear it all the time until his growth spurt. 

He liked it because the color went well with his eyes, and it was quite comfy.

He set it aside and pulled out the next shirt, which was also his at one point. This one was a black dress shirt that he wore once to a ball when he was sixteen. He'd thrown this one out the window at the end of the night as he'd been frustrated by being paraded around like he was some kind of rare specimen. 

The next shirt was newer, one he got a few months ago and simply decided he just didn't want it anymore. It was a plain white tunic with long loose sleeves, it was soft to the touch and ever so slightly see through. 

"Does she wear these?" He whispered to himself, confused. 

Why? 

It didn't bother him so much as worry him. When they lived in the castle she was only given two outfits. One day dress, and one night dress. As a familiar, she just wasn't given the same privileges as humans or witches. It wasn't seen as a necessity to give familiars clothing, because many times, they never revealed their human forms. 

The moment he learned that Utahime actually had a human form when he was a kid he filled his closet with dresses for her to choose from.  

He even designated half of his dresser to stuff he acquired for her. Most of the time he traded his spells with the scullery maids in exchange for them to make clothes for Utahime. He wasn't allowed a salary, so he often went about unconventional methods of getting things. 

Had it not been enough? 

He knew the clothes she had back then weren't very comfortable, and his things were always a higher quality, so it made sense if she wanted to sleep in his clothes. 

But that was over six years ago. 

He pretty much spoiled her now— tried to but she often fought him when he wanted to buy expensive things for her… 

It just didn't make sense for her to have these. He could see himself grabbing them and teasing her with them, cracking a few jokes to get on her nerves— but he didn't. He didn't because he knew her anger would be real. He didn't because he knew they were balancing on an awkward tightrope right now and he didn't want to push her away.

He sighed and packed the shirts up for her.  It seemed like there was a lot he messed up without even knowing.  Maybe he'd spoil her one last time when they got to the capital, even if she said no. 

It could be his parting gift to her. 

And if he was lucky and they both returned home, he'd spoil her again. 

He packed away a few trinkets, jewelry, her pillow, makeup, and her favorite books before compressing everything into a small box that fit in his pocket. 

He heard the door open downstairs, and he quietly left her room to meet her. 

"Did you find one?" He asked curiously. 

Utahime nodded and gestured out the window.  "Yes."

Satoru glanced over her shoulder and smirked when he saw the large white stallion waiting outside. 

"Ha, there's no way that was the only one," he said with a laugh. 

She crossed her arms. "It was the only one that could carry your ridiculous weight for so long without risking harm to the poor animal!"

He grinned and slipped outside to inspect the large horse. "Geeze, Utahime, gonna have me looking like prince charming returning home from a crusade!"

She scoffed behind him. "Like I said, I was worried the other horses would get hurt…" her voice went back to normal now that she was out of the shop. 

"Oh come on, I'm not that heavy!" He complained. 

"You're the size of a tree!"

"Am not!"

She held her hand up to him. "Just look at how freakishly huge your hand is compared to mine!"

Satoru turned to her and pressed his palm against hers.  The difference was stark. 

He could bend his fingers over the tips of hers… 

So small… 

He glanced at her face and frowned because her cheeks were pink. 

"You know, if you're cold, you can sit in my jacket," he said and unbuttoned his coat a bit so she could hide away if she wanted.  She used to do it all the time when he was a teenager, so why not now? 

She frowned and snatched her hand away from his as if he burned her. "I'm fine! I'll sit on the bags," she grumbled and transformed into a cat and jumped up on one of their bags.

Satoru sighed and snuck the small storage box in her bag before lifting it, and her up to attach it to the horse's saddle. Once everything was secured he turned around to seal the shop to keep it safe from squatters and thieves and pulled himself up onto the horse. 

Watching the seaside town grow smaller and smaller as they went made him feel pretty gloomy. It was the town they called home for a little more than half a decade. 

And even though he was really hoping they'd both return to it, he had a feeling he'd be coming back alone. 

It would take a week to get to the capital, surely if anything was going to change between them, being stuck on the road together for seven days and nights would either make or break them.

"I should have studied teleportation more," he sighed once the town was no longer visible behind them. He could only safely manage small distances at the moment. 

Teleporting inanimate objects was far easier and took little effort, teleporting the living was far more strenuous.

Living things had blood, bones and veins and all that good stuff that had to be teleported together– in one piece. He learned that the hard way, the first time he teleported a live chicken without a proper magic circle, all he summoned were its bones… 

He'd laughed when the skeleton popped in front of him, but his amusement quickly died when Utahime screeched. 

It isn't funny!  That can happen to you, idiot!!

He could do it now, but he couldn't manage more than a block of distance before it got risky. 

"Well… we can always practice when we get back," she mumbled. 

"True…" he tried not to let it, but hearing her say that got his hopes up. 

"Did you tell them you were coming?" Utahime asked after a bit. 

"Oh, no, I didn't think I needed to," Satoru said with a shrug. "They're lucky I'm going at all."

"Don't you think it would have been a good idea? They might think you're hiding from them, and I don't want them to try to charge you with anything."

"Utahime, are you forgetting that I never answer their stupid letters? This is… a special situation," he explained.  "Besides, they can charge me with all they want, they won't dare to actually enforce any kind of punishment on me," he said. 

"I'm not . This is the first time we're away from home, and even if you ignored their letters, they still sent men to the shop to deliver messages in the past, so if they send someone and see you're not there, it might lead to an issue."

He shrugged. "I'm not worried, so you shouldn't be either."

"That's precisely why I should worry, Gojo. You always disregard the important things, I swear I'm going to go gray because of how much you stress me out," she grumbled. 

"Well, I think you'll look good with silver hair," he said and turned around to poke her. "It's a good look."

She batted his finger away.  "No. It's a bad look."

"You don't mean that."

"I do."

He pouted at her. "You sayin' you don't think I'm purrtty, Hime?" He teased as he poked her again. 

She batted at him again. "No! Idiot! I don't—"

He picked her up and held her close to his face.  "Liar."

She squeaked and struggled in his grip.  "W-Why does it matter?!"

He gently tapped her nose. "It matters 'cause you're hurting my fee-fees, Hime~ Can't you tell how devastated I am?" 

She twisted out of his grip and landed on his thigh. She dug her claws into him. He winced. 

" Ugh , what do you want me to say?" She grumbled. 

"That you think I'm pretty~" he said without thinking. 

Even in her cat form he could tell she scrunched up her nose in displeasure. "You know you are…" she mumbled. 

"Mhm, but do you think so?"

"Again, why does it matter what I say?" She grumbled. 

"'Cause believe it or not your opinion is very important to me, Utahime. I'm not a people pleaser at all, but lately I'm thinking I'm quite an adamant Hime-pleaser~" he only half heartedly teased, because there was a lot of truth to that, and he willed her to understand how serious he was. 

She made that cute scrunchy face again. "Don't say such things, Gojo!"

"Why?"

She grumbled and took a deep breath before sighing in defeat. "Fine. I do in fact think you're purrtty ~" she said, and actually purred out the word pretty.  "Happy?!"

He was not expecting her to actually say that and his mind went blank, and he just stared at her while literally nothing went through his head. 

…

"What?!" She squeaked. 

…

"You literally asked me to do that!?"

Damn did he?

"Stop acting so shocked!"

….?

It was no secret that Satoru got away with quite a lot over the years by simply flashing a charming smile, or fluttering his eyes at anybody who looked his way. 

Many whispered about how alluring the boy with silver hair and piercing blue eyes was, and over the years, such comments easily got to his head and inflated his already huge ego. 

The only one who was never phased by his charms was Utahime. Leave it to her to always burst his bubble, to always drag him back to earth. 

So hearing her say that– even at his apparent request– threw him off.

"Eh…" he nodded dumbly and slowly turned his attention back to the road ahead. 

He felt awkward and out of place, and no matter how much he tried to ignore it he couldn't really settle down. 

Utahime huffed and moved back to curl up on the bag, and an awkward silence settled between them. After a few minutes, he was unable to help it any longer, and Satoru finally blurted out the first thing that came to mind. 

"For what it's worth, I think you're pretty too, Utahime, you—"

"Don't say that!" She snapped suddenly, and jumped up to her feet. 

"Erm, why not? You are," he said, frowning. "And you'll look great with gray or silver hair."

"No, stop, shut up!" She groaned and fixed him with a sharp glare. "I'd look like an old crone."

He scoffed. Crone? So what did that make him?  "No you wouldn't! And I'm just complimenting you! Don't women like compliments?" He asked, confused. 

"Only if the compliments are honest! I'm short, untalented and plain, and I accepted that a long time ago. I don't need anyone lying to me just to make me feel better, especially you."

"What?! That's ridiculous. I am being honest! How can you not tell?"

"I can tell, it's what you do, Gojo, whether you realize it or not. You're a damned flirt! You tell poor girls things like that all the time, then you wonder why they keep coming to the shop and don't buy anything!" Utahime yelled. 

He frowned. He had no idea what she was talking about. "Are you talking about when I told that redhead that I liked her hair? I didn't know that it counted as flirting."

She groaned. "It's the way you said it!"

"What do you mean? All I said was– I like your hair – how would she get the wrong idea from something so normal?"

"Forget it, Gojo, you once again have no idea what I'm saying," she complained. 

He felt like she was damning him for things he didn't do or couldn't help.  It made him feel a bit helpless because all he really wanted was for things between them to go back to normal… 

Back to how it felt when he first bought the land for his shop. 

They were so in sync back then, it seemed crazy looking back on it. 

They didn't even have to physically talk to know what the other was thinking– she read his mind without actually doing so— and vice versa.

If they were at the market and he saw someone that looked hilarious, all he had to do was glance at her and he could feel her struggling not to laugh.

He knew where she was all the time back then, always keenly aware of her presence without needing additional spells. He had always assumed she could tell the same for him. 

She could be on the other side of town, and it would feel like he was there with her. He would know if she needed him.  

If she was having a bad day, he knew exactly what to do to lift her spirits. They never argued over what to have for any meal because they were always on the same wavelength. 

They had truly been like how society claimed a witch and their familiar ought to be— best friends, two parts of a whole, one being, one soul.

When did that change? 

Thinking about it was actually really upsetting. 

He bit his lip and glanced at her balled up form

He wanted to press her for more information, but he had this weird feeling that it wouldn't be a good idea. 

Still, he was mostly bothered by the fact that she couldn't tell he was being honest which meant she was blocking him out again.

Utahime was objectively very pretty. 

She had long dark hair and pretty doe eyes the color of honey.  Her face was round, symmetrical, flawless, and she had an appealing figure. 

It wasn't hard to see why guys were drawn to her human form.

Even in her cat form she stood out, what with how small and innocent she seemed. Even her fur was sleek and incredibly soft. 

Utahime was a beauty— objectively. 

Swallowing his words, he reached over and gently petted her face and neck.  

It was going to be a long week.

Chapter Text

The first two days of their trip felt like it took ages. 

Utahime barely talked at all, and Satoru was dreadfully bored. The entire first day he somehow managed to leave her alone, told himself he'd wait for her to start a conversation, but she never did. 

Yeah it was peaceful, but Satoru really hated the silence. 

The sun hadn't even set on the second day when he finally lost his composure. 

Utahime was in the middle of turning around on the blanket he gave her– likely finding a spot to curl up for the night– when Satoru suddenly scooped her up and carried her off.

Utahime yelped when he lifted her off the ground and immediately struggled in his hold. "Ah! What are you doing?!"

"I'm bored!" He complained as he squished her against his chest. 

"Ugh, so? What do you want me to do about it?"

"Oh! I don't know, maybe you could, I dunno, talk to me!?" He said and finally restrained her enough to stop her struggles. 

"Oof, about what? There's nothing to talk about out here," Utahime complained. "Besides it's getting late, you should just go to sleep."

"I'm not tired, if we didn't need to let the horse rest we'd be on the road still," he grumbled.

She sighed and stopped struggling, but didn't attempt to start a conversation. She just sat in his arms like a silent wet blanket... 

He was at his wits end. He was so frustrated he wanted to shout. 

He used to like the silence between them, it was once so cozy and warm, comforting, but over the last few weeks it was tense. That tension chipped away at his psyche. He felt like a child complaining about wanting attention, but she wasn't giving him anything. 

Frowning, he carefully set her down and watched as she silently went back to her blanket to curl up. 

He was far too wired to relax right now, his energy was shaking in the air, twisting like a storm. He didn't typically get this restless, and thinking about it only made it worse. 

He stood there feeling entirely out of place before pursuing his lips and walking away. He'd go for a walk to burn some steam, and hopefully, he'd be tired enough to at least lay down until morning… 

He grabbed a few leaves off some bushes as he walked and suspended them in the air between his hands. He focused his magic on them, slowly manipulating the leaves to take different forms. Maple turned into oak, then willow, then to ginkgo.

He glanced up at the trees surrounding him. He could probably change an entire tree, maybe enchant one to bear fruit it naturally didn't… 

That was a harmless experiment, wasn't it? He'd always wondered about being able to do it, but never actually attempted it. It was another illegal magic, altering nature, or more specifically, the living, and Utahime was always so adamant about rules… 

If she caught him she'd be upset, and it might cause an argument. He was so tired of arguing with her. 

She's asleep anyway… 

Satoru dropped the leaves he was messing with and placed his hand against the nearest tree, an enormous oak. All the trees around him were pretty large, but this one felt larger than the others nearby based on the energy flowing through it. 

He would need a magic circle to start the spell properly, but that was always so slow.  He needed to figure out how to channel his magic properly, quickly, without Utahime… Just in case. 

Because if he couldn't figure it out, and he ended up parting ways with her, any sorcerer worth their salt would be able to get the upper hand on him simply because he'd be too slow to properly retaliate. 

He could still cast charms and various incantations, but the spells that made him the strongest, needed a catalyst… they needed Utahime… he needed Utahime… 

Sighing, Satoru closed his eyes to try to better his focus, but it was difficult. It was still taking too long… 

He exhaled slowly, trying to steady the flow of his magic, but it was just too erratic and aimless. It was like trying to force a boiling pot of water to only produce one bubble at a time. 

The tree groaned under the pressure he was putting it through, but it didn't budge like he wanted. 

He felt a warm, familiar presence envelope him so suddenly it startled him. He stumbled back from the tree in surprise only to watch, stunned as Utahime grabbed his wrist and gently, but firmly pulled him down to his knees, pressing his palm against the earth and dewy grass. 

Her magic enveloped his own, small tendrils of it tugged it into focus, quickly taming it. 

He was too surprised to hear the spell she whispered before a second later the forest floor around them suddenly bloomed with numerous wildflowers as far as he could see in the darkening night, expending the magic he'd built up.  

The flowers even shot up the trunks of all the trees around them, making the forest look more like a scene from one of her favorite books. 

As soon as she let him go, she cut the connection where their magic was beginning to merge together. A rush of cold swept through his bones so suddenly he shuddered, and he grabbed her wrist without thinking. 

"Don't do that," he said, a little disoriented by both the sudden drop of his magic energy and the uncomfortable chill. 

That chill...  he finally figured out what it was, the chill he swore he'd been feeling for years now,  but could never really place,  the one he convinced himself had existed only in his head, the one that slowly got worse. 

"Don't do what?" Utahime asked as she attempted to tug her wrist away from him. "I should be saying that to you, what were you up to? Why can't you just go to sleep?"

He yanked her down to her knees and looked her in the eyes. "Don't block me… you're blocking me out… even when you say you aren't—" he tried to search for the familiar warmth of her magic, that same warmth that he felt in that moment she used that spell, but he couldn't. Whatever he felt were only residuals, it didn't hold a candle to her true energy. Damn, he had forgotten what it felt like.

It was a little intoxicating... 

He knew it was different, and he felt insane trying to pinpoint exactly when it started feeling off. 

"Gojo, you're just tired—" 

"No," he scowled and tightened his grip on her. "I was starting to wonder if I was just remembering it wrong… but I know — doesn't it bother you, Hime? Can't you tell?"

She took a deep breath and gently placed her hand over the one he had around her wrist. "I'm… don't know what—"

"You do, you know, I know that you know— you're lying," he cut in quickly.  

She bit her lip and gently tried to pry his fingers off her wrist. "I… I am happier like this…"

"What?" He asked in disbelief. He didn't think he heard her right, he couldn't have heard her right. Why would she say that? 

She shifted a bit and attempted to tug his hand off her wrist again.  "Don't you think it's…erm, better? I-I mean— if— it's better that I'm my own person, right?"

He could barely wrap his head around what she was saying. "What? You are your own person, why wouldn't you be?"

"But… I'm not… not really… I-I'm your shadow, Gojo…" she mumbled.

"And… you don't want to be?" He asked slowly, still in disbelief. He was starting to feel ill again. That strange pain that had been plaguing him returned with a sharp vengeance deep in his gut. 

"I— it's just better like this… it's better if there's a separation between us, Our magic was... it was getting too jumbled..." she insisted quietly. 

"What? Why? That doesn't make any sense! That's the point! Having a permanent barrier is the exact opposite of your purpose!" He said.

Utahime frowned and finally yanked her hand out of his grip. "Oh, wow, really, Gojo? My purpose?  You can't even pretend like I'm not just an object to—"

He grabbed her face and forced her to look at him.  "No. Don't do that. You know what I meant— you should know," he tightened his grip on her. "You would have known if you weren't blocking me all the time," he shook her face a little. "Dismiss it, now."

She frowned. "Gojo…"

"Dismiss the barrier, or I'll do it for you."

Her lip trembled and that fear that he felt when he confronted her in the kitchen resurfaced. The exact fear he didn't want to make her feel again.   

Frowning he let her go and stood up. "Forget it… let's just forget about this," he sighed. 

It was clear to him now that Utahime was afraid of him in some way. She claimed she wasn't, but her reaction just now made it obvious. 

He thought back to the feeling that rushed through him when she interrupted him. That feeling, he swore that was what they used to be. But he'd been too stunned to fully process it. That was what he used to be, what they used to be. 

He was so close to forcing her to drop whatever barrier she'd put up. 

It angered him, frustrated him,  confused him. 

He tried to make sense of her reasoning, but it just didn't make any sense! 

Utahime was her own person, at least to him. He has never thought of her as less than.  But she said she was happier this way, with this cold barrier between them.  

How had he not noticed she had put it up in the first place? The only way that made sense was that it had to have been gradual.

How many years had she been slowly pushing him away? 

Did that mean she didn't like how close they once were? Had her happiness back then actually just been his own projected onto her? Had he been controlling her without realizing? That made him feel a little sick. 

What if the Utahime from his memories was just a result of his own influence on her? Leaving the castle had probably given her the courage to try to withdraw herself from him, and she'd done it so well that he didn't even notice. 

But she said she still cares about me… I know she hadn't been lying… she said she still considers me her friend… 

She still considered him a friend, yet she'd been withdrawing herself from him for years.  She was unhappy to be considered his shadow — she was unhappy being his familiar. 

Maybe she was still confused on exactly what she wanted, maybe she thought she wanted to stay because she knew suggesting otherwise was a great offense.

It was clear as day to him now. 

There was only one sensible option. 

.

.

The next few days passed smooth enough. Whatever conversation they had was a little more awkward and a little more strained each time.  

He unintentionally started making comments to push her buttons, and he'd watch her fuse burst each time like he was watching the scene through a window. 

He was little more detached each time, and a little more distant. 

He was a little meaner everytime, and her fuse broke a little sooner each time too.

By the time Satoru could see the castle on the horizon, the tension between Utahime and him was just about ready to snap. 

Every time he spoke to her for more than a few minutes they always ended up arguing about something stupid. 

He had a constant migraine from all her yelling, and that only shoved his mood further in the dirt.  

He felt bad for the damn horse!

Utahime was impossible to read now, she felt like a stranger. If he teased her she ignored him, if he was nice to her she got annoyed because she thought he was faking it, if he was mean it just made her blow up. 

The only thing that gave him peace was silence. 

And he really hated silence. 

And even though he tried to keep his big mouth shut, he'd say something eventually, and it was like a game of roulette on whether or not she'd get pissed at him. 

They were resting by a river, fresh out of another argument that he couldn't even remember the start of.  

Utahime was in her human form, walking along the riverbank barefoot. Her dress was blowing softly in the wind, and her lips were stuck in a firm frown. Probably thinking about the last stupid thing he said, he almost wanted to ask her what it had been… 

"I'm understanding why some people frown upon men having females as familiars," he grumbled because apparently he really couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut. 

She glared at him. "Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?"

"All I'm saying is I can understand," he said, shrugging.

"You do realize that's because men can't keep their hands to themselves?! Because female familiars are seen as lesser than their male counterparts!?" She yelled and marched right up to him and jabbed her finger into his chest. 

He rolled his eyes and brushed her hand away. "Please, I'm sure you'd have been a lot happier if I treated you like everyone else did!"

Her face flushed red. "I would not! Have you not been listening? I—"

"You fantasize about being used, yeah I've been listening," he said, smirking. 

The anger in her eyes flashed even brighter, "I never said that!"

He shrugged.  "You might as well have."

"I already apologized! You don't need to bring it up again!"

"Mh, but sorry doesn't really fix anything, does it?"

"W-Wha? You're really holding a grudge against me? You already humiliated me enough, I-I apologized! I admitted to something that ashamed me! You don't need to throw it in my face again!" She yelled angrily. 

"It's not a grudge, that's your thing— I just don't know if I really believe you've learned your lesson is all—" He stepped forward and tilted her face up so he could look at her angry face better. "I mean, we'll be in the capital soon, the place is practically crawling with sorcerers, how do I know you're not going to run off with one of them and—"

Utahime grit her teeth and slapped his hand away. She got him good enough for the blow to sting. 

Satoru tsked and grabbed her face anyway.  "We have to do something about that too, I can't have you disrespecting me like that so freely in front of everyone. Can you imagine what anyone else would do to you for such disrespect?"

He squeezed her face until she winced. 

"How would you like it if I raised my hand against you as much as you do to me, hm?" He asked as he got in her face.

Her eyes widened, but she refused to back down,  stubborn as she was. "You're right, why don't you get me back?" She growled and shoved him away.  "You want to hit me, Gojo?!" She shoved him again but he didn't budge.  "You gonna hit a girl?!"

He scowled.  "Coulda fooled me, Utahime, what with how you act I was starting to think you were a man! I've never raised my hand against you, you know,  but maybe I should."

She shoved him again. "Fuck you! What are you waiting for then?! Go on and hit the girl that's half your fucking size! Real manly of you!  I'm sure you'll be proud of yourself!"

"Stop pushing me! Or I'll trap you in a fucking box!"

"Do it!"

"You're being a bitch!"

"You're an asshole!"

"What the fuck?! I literally didn't do anything!"

She growled and snatched up a rock from the ground and hurled it at him. He dodged it, and threw up his infinity to block the second one. It shattered on impact, throwing little pieces all around them.

Utahime was hysterical at this point, and she was punching his chest, arms, wherever she reached first. It was affecting him, it was making him crazy. 

"What are you waiting for huh? Master? You gonna slap me across the face? Gonna teach me a lesson? No one's gonna bat an eye if we walk into town and I have blood all over my face! Or maybe a black eye or a broken arm? Go ahead! My kind is already treated like property!" 

Satoru scowled and pinned her arms to her side and effortlessly lifted her up. She had just enough time to gasp before he roughly shoved her against a nearby tree right at his eye level so hard she whimpered. 

"I'm the only one here that has ever been treated like fucking property!" He yelled back, frustrated, offended… upset. 

Her eyes widened and all of the fight immediately drained from her body, and she withered like a flower.

He stared into her large amber eyes while he caught his breath, while his heart raced, while the words he was trying to find next jumbled around in the chaos of his thoughts. 

He couldn't think straight,  he felt like he was under water. His head hurt too much.   

He subconsciously tightened his grip on her. Her heart was racing just as fast as his was. 

He realized a beat later that he had his hand pressed firmly against her chest, being the only thing keeping her pinned against the tree.  

Frowning, he slid his hand to her waist and grabbed her with both hands so he could carefully put her down. 

...

It was effortless... 

He realized he could hear her talking, stammering out apologies, but she sounded far away.

"I-I'm sorry, Satoru…" Utahime whispered, trembling.  "I… I don't know… you're right—" 

He didn't let her go yet.

His fingers were almost touching as they circled her waist. 

...Uh... 

The thoughts that quickly followed made him feel a little insane. 

It was a jumbled mess of the negative emotions from their argument just now, and their argument in the kitchen a week ago, specifically what he said— what he offered... what she wanted... 

If she asked him to...  

"—I was being a bitch— I don't know what is wrong with me… I-I'm so sorry…"

No, no, no... 

He let her go and slowly walked away. 

She tried to grab his hand and he pulled away from her. Unable to look at her anymore he silently walked back to the horse. For the first time in her presence, he intentionally put his barrier up to its full capacity. 

No, you wouldn't do that. He kept repeating to himself like a mantra. 

His head was still hurting like hell. 

The offense he felt just moments prior was still lingering, but it was mixed in with a bunch of whispers of Utahime asking him for things that she definitely would never ask for.

I just want to know what it feels like... her voice was like honey.... 

...

Fucking hell...

...

He tried to just focus on his initial offense, but he couldn't even fully blame her for her comments because he'd started it. 

It was like sticking his hand in a fire and being surprised that he got burned. 

Still…

It was like she forgot she'd always been free. He had made it clear to her when they were still kids that she didn't have to stay with him if she didn't want to. He didn't know how at the time, but he'd promised her he'd find a way to make it safe for her to go if she wanted to leave. 

But she'd promised that she was happy at his side and that she'd never want to leave him… 

It was a childish promise, one a child of ten years couldn't really comprehend, he knew that…But he still felt a bit bitter over how obvious it was that she no longer held that sentiment… 

Didn't she know how valuable she was to him? How much she meant to him? 

The more he thought about it the more he was beginning to realize he really would do anything for her. 

Anything...

That was a little dangerous. 

Still a bit wired, he encased himself behind infinity and pulled it in close so that even if she were to jump on his shoulder, she wouldn't be able to feel anything, not his magic energy, not his emotions, not even his body heat, nothing.

He was feeling ill again, his head hurt so much, and the pain he'd been feeling over the past few weeks now felt like he had a knife jammed in his lung.  

He was in fucking pain, but he had no injury to show for it, and no explanation that made sense to him. 

He didn't want to think about it. 

"G-Gojo, please… I—"

He led the horse back to the path and got on it, not even bothering to look to see if Utahime followed suit. He knew she had, even if she didn't want to, she'd have no choice. Even if the link was thin, she was still forced to stay within a certain range to him. 

He knew she jumped back on the bags, he felt her presence, but he still didn't want to look at her because he didn't trust himself not to say or do something really dangerous. 

"I-I'm really sorry, Gojo…" she whispered from somewhere behind him. 

Even though he ignored her, the soft tremble in her voice got past his barrier anyway. It was habit, it had to be, why else would he reach over to lift her up on his shoulder? 

It was an instinct, why else would he let his infinity fade away when she wrapped around him as a scarf? He buried his face in the soft fabric, once again surprised that she didn't lash out, and simultaneously wishing she had. He wanted her to give him a reason to hate her as much as she obviously hated him…

Because even though he was still hurt, he couldn't be mad at her because he knew if he had just kept his mouth shut in the first place, he wouldn't be feeling so shitty right now.  

He could feel her reaching out to him through their frayed link, a first in a long time, but he kept that part of him hidden. If she was going to block him out, it only made sense for him to do it too, even if it felt wrong.

There wasn't really any point in trying to understand why anymore. 

They were at the end of the road. 

Plus he was still spirling down a dangerous train of thought that he didn't want her to catch wind of...  

.

.

They still hadn't spoken when they got to the city proper, and only when he dismounted the horse did he finally say something. 

A low, "Thanks," was mumbled to the stable boy that led the horse away, and then he fell silent again. 

It was odd, watching the castle ground pass by him again. He didn't think he'd ever come back here, and was actually shocked that he was listening to the servants that led him away. 

Normally he wouldn't have been so cooperative, but he knew it bothered Utahime whenever he caused a scene, and he no longer had the energy to withstand her anger. 

So he was patient when he was told to wait in a drawing room. He was cooperative when some low ranked sorcerers were told to search him, and he was quiet when some older sorcerers that had lost to him seven years ago muttered insults under their breath. 

He could see himself laughing at them, taunting them, and berating them for their weakness, but he didn't actually do it. He would have, but he didn't. 

He wondered if it had anything to do with the infinity he'd cast around himself, this time internally, to keep the other sorcerers from attempting to scan him.  To keep his thoughts protected from potential readers, and most importantly, to keep Utahime out… 

Satoru felt like he was watching himself as he followed some knights to a room, he even laughed at a joke one of them made, though as soon as it was made he forgot the punchline. 

He nodded along to the instructions they gave him, and held a scroll out to him that he actually grabbed. 

He retreated into the room when they left, walking over their bags that had already been moved inside. He set the scroll down on the writing desk in the corner then kicked his boots off before letting himself fall face first on the bed and drifting to sleep.

.

.

"Aren't these paintings soo beautiful, Gojo?" Utahime whispered from her place tucked into his coat, her little cat ears brushing against his chin. "It's hard to imagine that places like this really exist out there."

Satoru absently rubbed his cheek against the top of her head. "Mh, yeah I guess it is pretty…" he whispered, not too interested anymore as this was probably the twentieth landscape painting they'd looked at today.

A new tutor was in charge of watching him today, and he had taken the two of them to an art show titled "Places From Afar". Not what he would have picked for what was supposably a fun day.  What ten year old liked looking at paintings? 

He smiled to himself and rolled his eyes. We'll, Utahime did, because of course she did.  

All the paintings were made by a supposably world renowned painter that traveled even to other kingdoms. Each piece depicted scenes the painter had witnessed with his own two eyes, and had immortalized the scenes on canvas.

"Too bad we'll never get to see them in real life," Utahime whispered, her ears wilting sadly against her head. 

Her sadness seeped into his own being, and Satoru suddenly felt his eyes burn with her emotions. Frowning, he nuzzled his face further into her fur.

"Don't be sad, Uta… you can see them yourself whenever you want," he whispered and shuffled over to a less crowded spot of the gallery.

"We can't though, we're stuck here," she whispered sadly.

He tilted her little face up just enough for him to look into her large amber eyes. "No, Uta, you're not stuck here. You don't belong to anyone, you can go wherever you want," he murmured and gently poked her nose. "You can go see the fancy mountains and glowing sea anytime, then if you want… you can come back to me and tell me if it's real."

"What do you mean? I belong to you, don't I? That's what teacher says…" Utahime whispered. 

He frowned and wrapped his arms around himself so he could hug her close. "No, you don't… we're friends, Uta… so if you want to go and see the paintings in real life, I think you should… just promise not to forget me…" He said and smiled as best he could, but thinking about her leaving him behind made him upset. 

He imagined himself all alone in his room without her and he bit his lip. He didn't want her to go, but if she wanted to leave, he wouldn't stop her. It still made him really sad though… 

He nearly cried— would have if Utahime hadn't quickly leaned up and rubbed her cheek against his.  An additional soothing wave of warmth melted into him through their bond and he smiled. 

She made him so happy…. 

"I wouldn't leave you behind, Gojo… we're together forever! Maybe someday we'll really get to see the paintings in real life… but until then, I'm more than happy looking at these paintings with you," she said. 

His smile widened and he hugged her tighter. "Yeah, together forever."

.

.

Satoru felt like himself again when he woke up, but he wasn't really sure if he liked this better than the odd complaint haze he'd been in when he first got to the castle. 

He knew he should probably stay put until a servant was sent to collect him, but since he was aware now, he did what he normally would have– whatever he wanted. 

Utahime was curled up in a ball by the window, and she stood up when he pulled his boots back on. 

"Stay here," he said, avoiding her gaze by focusing on his boots.

He quickly left the room right when she took a breath to speak, and maybe he slammed the door in her face on purpose, but he was still in a bad mood. 

He half expected her to disobey like she always did lately and follow him, but she didn't. 

Satoru rushed straight to the medical ward, ignoring the curious looks of the maids that he brushed past in his haste. 

Originally, he planned on putting this off until the very last minute, hopeful that Utahime would give him a reason to believe that it wasn't truly over for them. Unfortunately, the trip only proved to him that it really was over. 

If he wanted to be able to still call her friend, then he had to break this miserable bond off now. Lest their next argument destroy the shreds that were left. 

.

.

"Shoko!" He called out as he burst through the doors of the medical ward. He scanned the room as soon as he entered, locking on to the familiar small pool of magical energy in the corner.

"Gojo?! What the— You scared the shit out of me!" The brunette woman laughed, the cigarette she was fumbling with falling to the floor. 

Satoru would have made some kind of comment about her smoking, but he was too anxious. Instead he snatched the cigarette off the floor and popped it in her mouth, lighting it in the process with a simple flick of his fingers. 

"I need your help," he said as he stepped away. 

Shoko's eyes widened and she glanced across the room where he'd been just a second ago. "Long time no see, Is everything alright?"

"I'm going to sever my bond with Utahime, and I want you to take her instead," he said, his words rushed, and heavy. 

The cigarette fell from her mouth and he caught it and pushed it back in.  "What!?"

"Please? You're the only one I trust with her, and—"

"Whoa, wait, what is going on? Where is she? Is she okay? Why do you look so terrible?" Shoko asked. 

He began to pace. "I'm fine, tired— I've just been on the road for a week. Utahime is in the room I'm staying in, she's fine, this needs to be done, it has to be you, I don't trust anyone else with her. 

"I'll do whatever you want in exchange, anything but pay you, I'm sorry, but I refuse to get money involved in this— this isn't a transaction— I can make you any potion you want or get you some rare materials or—"

Shoko cut him off. "Wait, slow down, Gojo, please, I have a hangover," she grumbled and took a deep breath, her cigarette smoke billowing out around her in a cloud. "To my office," she said and got up to move to the room at the end of the space. 

Satoru followed her and sat in the chair across from her desk.  It was a cluttered office, the chair a tad too small for him, so he stretched his legs out in an attempt to get comfortable. 

Shoko moved some paperwork out of the way and set a jar that was covered in dust in front of him. Curious, he peered inside and snorted. It was candy, but it looked melted together, a mass of sugary pink mess. 

Shoko merely smiled and nudged it closer to him. "Sugar doesn't go bad, Gojo, just do your woowoo on it, and it'll be good as new."

He smirked and sighed heavily. He missed her more than he realized. Shoko was his classmate growing up.  She was a witch born to human parents, her magical abilities having surfaced after a freak accident that almost killed her. She'd been hit by a carriage, the horse having trampled her to a point where no one thought she'd live. 

She survived because she managed to heal her own wounds, and that miracle quickly caught the attention of The Crown who gladly sponsored her training. However, she only really excelled at healing, anything else she didn't seem to want to try, not even simple enchantments. 

"You still have this nasty jar?" He asked as he picked it up. The candy inside was his favorite flavor– well one of them, a sour strawberry.

"Hey, I recall that being one of your favorites, you're lucky I kept it for ya," she motioned at him. "Go on, do the thing."

He shook the jar, infusing his magic into it. The contents broke down and quickly reformed into perfect little star cutouts. He set the jar down with a triumphant smirk, adding a little pop of glitter for the hell of it.  

Shoko laughed and rolled her eyes.  "As shocking as it sounds, I was hoping you'd make a show of it, no one else around this stuffy castle makes magic feel– well,  magical ," she said and stole a piece from the jar before making a face. "Ugh, I forgot how sour they are."

He smiled absently and cleaned the jar off on his sleeve. It was a habit he started as a kid, making things more than they were. Magic should be magical, he decided that after having a long discussion with a few human children when he was seven years old.

He and Utahime had been partners for two years at that point, and they had snuck out of the castle to play in the city.  

The kids they used to play with were street rats, and they had been very disappointed when he showed them a simple color change spell, declaring it looked boring. So after much deliberation they decided it needed a bit of sparkle and light, and he experimented with the effect ever since.

 Satoru popped two candies in his mouth, the sourness enough to hurt his jaw. "You got these to prank me, remember? I shoved a handful in my mouth at once!"

She smirked. "Admit it was hilarious, you spit 'em out and nearly cried!"

"Yeah, yeah, you're just mad I took a liking to them."

Shoko shook her head and set the jar back in its spot on her desk, then took a deep breath.  "Okay, back to business… Why do you want to break your bond with Utahime?"

He sobered quickly and crossed his arms.  "I don't want to, but she's not happy with me anymore… I don't really know why, I don't think I've changed too much… but she clearly would rather be separated from me…"

"Are you sure? You can be pretty annoying, but you've always be so close."

He scoffed and looked away. "I'm sure… our bond is close to souring, if it hasn't already … I've poisoned myself with some potions. At first I thought it was just me being careless, but I'm convinced it was because my magic is compromised because we're no longer compatible."

"Oh, that is serious… sheesh… is she on board too?"

"She will be."

Shoko sighed. "Wait, you didn't tell her what you were going to do? Gojo! How could you not tell her? Don't you think she will feel betrayed?"

"No, I don't," he snapped. "She was the one that brought it up— now she claims she only said it because she was mad, but c'mon, you don't just say those kinds of things if you haven't really thought about it deep down. 

"I know you don't get how these things work but… familiars don't just start disliking their masters outta nowhere, it's like hating oneself… even the most abusive masters don't have to worry about their familiar going against them…"

But he swore he'd been nothing but kind to her. He respected her, gave her her own room, let her make her own decisions. Why would she turn on him?  Where had he gone wrong?

Shoko took another drag from her cigarette, the smoke clouding the air between them in a thin haze. "Those familiars don't have their own will though, do they?" She asked. 

Satoru sighed and reached over to steal another candy from the jar. "I honestly don't know. That's a tough question… because ideally, familiars are supposed to mirror their masters, they're supposed to be the same— they are the same, they should be…their loyalty should be unquestionable."

"Hmm, but doesn't a mirror reflect the opposite of its image?" Shoko mused. 

That's… a good point… and if he thought about it that way, then it made more sense than he thought. 

He and Utahime were opposites down to the letter, physically, their view on how the world functioned, even their magic were opposite of each other. 

The stark contrast between them suddenly became so obvious that it was a wonder how they had worked so well together at all at one point. 

But the thing that didn't add up was the fact that many familiars were perfect matches to their masters, even naturally. 

But Satoru gave Utahime the freedom to be different, to be herself, and that just reinforced the reason why he was here in the first place.

She said she thought it was best if their was a barrier between them… 

"I dunno, Shoko… that's a good point, but it's so rare… besides society doesn't think that way, and this is Utahime— she's not going to suggest severing our connection 'cause she will think she is a failure,  witches don't take too kindly to familiars that reject their masters. It's a rare phenomenon. It's considered shameful. A bond that has truly soured can even make the witch in question sick. Worst case scenario they can get corrupted, and eventually die. Familiars have been executed for this—"

As soon as he said it his stomach dropped as a cold rush of realization swept through him. He was sick. Nothing he did helped it, and he's only gotten worse. She'd kill him if they stayed bonded much longer… 

"How do you know she rejected you? What if you rejected her?" Shoko asked. "Isn't that more acceptable?  Witches trade and sell familiars all the time."

He sighed and rubbed his temples. "It doesn't work that that way… besides, just look at me, Shoko… I'm sure you'll find your answer…"

She frowned and stood up. "You said it was just because of the trip– here, let me…" she held her hands up and encased him in the soft white glow of her healing magic. 

The aura eased the ache that had been plaguing him for only as long as she had it active. The moment she stopped that deep pain resurfaced. 

"Any better?" Shoko asked hopefully. 

He smiled wryly. "Only in the moment…" 

She frowned and sank back in her chair. "Damn… I've never seen this before, not to this extent… this is actually pretty bad."

He leaned forward. "No one will know about this. We'll tell anyone that asks that I got tired of her. It's better to be pitied than to be considered faulty or broken, or worse, tainted, if they find out about this… they will put her to death, they will fear her, think she's corrupted— and I know she isn't… she can't be…"

Shoko looked at him warily, her brows furrowed. "Are you sure? If she is corrupted—"

"She isn't."

"But if she is… she could turn into a demon…" 

Satoru sighed heavily and slouched low in the chair. He didn't want to think about that, but it was even more a reason to release her. If she did turn into a demon, it would corrupt him too, and as strong as he was, he couldn't risk it. Especially with how easily he could fall off the deep end… 

The situation suddenly felt terribly dangerous. 

"It's too dangerous to risk… releasing her should cleanse whatever corruption may be present, it's the only way, after a few days, she should be cleansed enough for you to bond to her without issues, you can always cast a purification spell to be safe," he said, strained. 

"I hope you tried to talk to her."

He sighed and slouched further into the chair. "Of course I did. She is as stubborn as an ox, but she wants this. She's been hiding from me for months at this point, years even I'm sure… You can barely tell she's linked to me anymore, and that's not my doing," Satoru said around the growing lump in his throat.

"Well… what about what you want?" Shoko asked. 

He shut his eyes and willed the burn in them to go away. "I just want her to be happy… and if that means being away from me, then so be it. I still don't understand what happened… but I guess I don't need to understand it to do the right thing… We fought constantly on the way here, Shoko… it's draining… Besides, it's not like I have a choice anymore… she's killing me… even if it isn't on purpose." 

"Does she know?? About your condition?"

He frowned and shook his head. "She won't ."

Utahime figured out he was ill, but she didn't know he was actually slowly dying. And he wasn't going to tell her. 

Shoko was silent for a long time before she let out a heavy sigh. "Okay… so why me?"

Satoru sat up and held her gaze. "Like I said,  you're the only one I trust to be kind to her. You two are already friends, and you are protected by the best in the kingdom. As much as I don't want her to be here, what I want doesn't matter. Even though I'm sure what she really wants is complete freedom,  that's unfortunately not possible. Unbonded familiars are vulnerable— The second word gets out that I've severed our bond, witches from all over will want to snatch her up for themselves. She has been linked to me for almost twenty years, there is no way her natural magic wasn't affected in some way, they'll covet her. 

"Her association with me puts her in danger, they will want the knowledge she has— the secrets I've shared with her, the techniques we developed together, the energy that I've weaved into her bones. Even if she doesn't have much currently, they will still want to drain her magic in the hopes of extracting some remnants of mine, even if it means killing her. Being your familiar is the only way to protect her, because hurting her will mean hurting you, and hurting you will mean betraying the King himself because your unique healing keeps the old bastard in top health."

Shoko set her cigarette in her ashtray and blew the last puff in the air.  "You've put a lot of thought into this."

He nodded. "I had to."

"Being connected to her will put a target on my back too you know," Shoko sighed. 

"I know."

She smirked and shook her head.  "How can you be selfish but so selfless at the same time?"

He grinned and shrugged. "I've got a knack for dealing with impossibles and inbetweens."

"That you do… alright. I'm on board, but no payment, or iou's or favors," she said and pointed a quill at him. "I'm simply being a good friend."

Satoru sighed in relief and nodded.  "Thank you so much Shoko, if you ever need anything in the future, let me know, seriously."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said and stood up. "So when do we do it?"

"The sooner the better… I can't stand being here for long… I'm going to talk to her one last time… I'll come back either way with her, sounds good?" He asked as he drifted over to the door. 

"Okay, I'll draft up a contract for her… Good luck, Gojo…" Shoko murmured. 

He smiled wryly and nodded. "Thanks."

Chapter Text

This was probably the first time he was ever so nervous that he felt like he was going to puke. 

Even right up until the moment he challenged the King to a duel, he was more excited than whatever this horrible feeling was. 

The crazy part was, back then he was well aware the punishment for failure was death, and yet as he burst into the throne room, all he remembered feeling was excitement and confidence. 

Even when he learned he'd be fighting the elite army instead, he still never wavered. 

Though he had Utahime in his ear feeding his ego with the confidence of the century. It was such an amazing feeling, he swore he could do anything, truly believed it at one point.  She made him feel indestructible

. 

You got this, Gojo! Can you imagine the look on their faces? When you win!?

Let them underestimate you, it'll only make the victory sweeter! 

You're strong, like strong, strong,  you're the only one in the realm that can do this!  You were born for greatness! 

It doesn't matter how many losers they throw at you, we got this! I'm with you! 

You're not alone you know? I believe in you.

You can do it, Satoru! I'm with you to the end!

He froze with his hand on the door knob and his heart in his throat. "I guess this is the end, huh?…" he mumbled to himself, devastated, but still foolishly hoping he was wrong. 

Utahime was sitting on the bed in her human form when he walked in. She was hugging her knees to her chest, and she looked like she'd been crying. 

As soon as he noticed he felt at fault. She was probably thinking about their shitty trip, and all the mean things he said.  

"We need to talk."

"Gojo, I wanted to— oh," she clutched her hands together and bit her lip.  "I'm sorry, you go first."

Satoru shifted awkwardly and scratched the back of his head.  "Are you sure?"

"Yeah…"

"Okay," he took a deep breath and carefully took his sunglasses off. "You know how I mentioned I had things to take care of down here? Well, the letter isn't the only reason we're here," he forced out. 

Her brows furrowed. "Oh, why else?"

"I've been… thinking about what you said… about wanting to serve someone else—"

"I wasn't serious!" She cut in quickly. 

He resisted the urge to take her for her word and drag her stubborn ass home, because as much as he wanted to believe her, he didn't, couldn't, not anymore.  Not when she already lied to his face so many times. Not when he was physically ill because of it. How could he trust her now?

"It's okay, Hime…" he murmured and moved to sit beside her.  Even if she moved away, he wanted to sit as close to her as possible because this was the last time he'd ever feel the soothing pulse of her magic, even if it was faint. 

But surprisingly, she didn't move away, not even when his weight made her sink closer to him. 

"You won't be considered a failure, just tell everyone that my ego got too big and I thought you were holding me back,  everyone that asks will believe you, they'll even be jealous of you–  for being my familiar at all," he said and forced a smile when she looked at him. 

Her eyes were wide and watery. She looked devastated, and he didn't really know why. 

"G-Gojo… you can't be serious… are you?" She whispered.

"I am…" he said and took a deep breath. "It will be the best thing for—"

"I don't want this!" She growled and stood up to face him. With him sitting down and the height of the bed, he was pretty much at eye level with her. 

"You do, Hime, it's okay, you don't have to keep pretending—"

"How dare you?! Why would you make this decision for me?! You never thought to ask? You didn't think for one second that maybe I don't want this?!" She yelled, her cheeks red with anger. But it was her aura that confused him because her magic was erratic and twisting, she was panicking. 

It was making him feel it. 

He rubbed his hand over his face and took a deep breath. "I did ask you, I asked multiple times, I asked if you were happy, I asked if you liked the life we built,  I asked you what was wrong, why you were angry, and you lied. Hell, Hime, you even said you are happier with a veil between us…. You don't have to keep pretending," he reiterated.  "It isn't helping the situation, I want to end this as peacefully as—"

"Oh, so you want to end it?! Why don't you just say that instead? Why don't you be a man and tell the truth instead of skirting around it and blaming me!?" She spat out.

He took a deep breath and silently reached over and pulled the ribbon out of her hair. "Then explain this," he demanded, his lips set into a thin line. 

Her eyes widened and jumped between the ribbon and his face. "W-What do you mean?"

"I mean,  explain this," he nearly growled, frustrated.  "Explain why it is almost see through, when it shouldn't be! Did you even realize it was falling apart?" He asked and shoved it back in her hands. 

Her hands shook as she looked it over. "I-It's just old, Gojo—"

He laughed darkly, insulted. Was she serious? "Do. Not . Insult me. It's a magic item, it shouldn't be able to deteriorate! This links you to me, and look at it! Explain why it is frayed,  explain why it's falling apart, explain why we're falling apart! Explain it, Utahime!" He stood up and got in her face. 

She stepped back with a gasp, her neck craning so she could look at him.  

"Why are you so angry all the damn time!? Why can't I make a joke anymore without you losing your fucking mind, why are you always insulting me lately?! Explain why you have been blocking me out! Why can't I see my magic in you anymore!?  Why? Why, Utahime? Why??"

She stepped back again. "Calm down, Gojo. I… I don't know what you're talking about!"

He grit his teeth in frustration. She was lying again.  He could taste the bitterness in the back of his throat.  

"You're fucking lying, again, I know you want something. I can feel it. What is it? What do you want? Why can't you tell me? You know everything about me,  you know what I'm made of! You know I can give you whatever you want! Whatever it is, it doesn't matter! Anything, anything you can think of, it's already yours—" He laughed, a bit crazed, his mind frazzled, and he snatched her face in his hands.  

She gasped.

"It's already yours! Don't you realize? How can you not realize?? If it doesn't exist, I'll make it exist! If there isn't a way, I'll make a way! I'll force it into reality, I'll carve it out of the cosmos, I'll turn everything into stardust if it'll make you happy, I'll reverse the river for you, Hime— I'll—I-I—" 

Something warm rolled down his cheek and he flinched and suddenly realized his vision was blurry.

He abruptly let her go and stepped back. His hand shook as he rubbed his cheek and his stomach dropped when he noticed what he initially felt was a tear. In fact it was tears. 

He was crying, and he didn't even realize… 

He blinked rapidly and refocused on her face, and he only felt worse. 

Her eyes were wide like saucers, tears were streaming down her face too, her lip was trembling, and she had a strange look on her face that he didn't recognize.

He honestly had no idea if his tears were his own or not anymore… 

A cold breeze blew through the room, and he glanced at the window only to see a giant hole in the wall, or what was left of the wall. The rest of the walls in the room were littered with severe cracks, even the tiled floor was destroyed.

  Oh. He didn't even realize he did that… 

He didn't feel like fixing it.

He just wanted her to say something… anything… 

But she didn't. She just stood there and stared at him, and then, softly, calmly…   

"Y-You shouldn't say things like that, Gojo…" 

Oh…  

Why did hearing her say that hurt so much? Still…  she was right. 

He was saying crazy shit again… 

"I'm sorry…" He croaked, voice hoarse. He wasn't used to yelling and had been doing so in spades all week. He never apologized, but the words left him without him realizing. Much like how he'd gone off the rails just then.  He felt so sick, his vision was swimming.

He stumbled back until he felt the bed hit the back of his knees and he sank down with a heavy sigh.

He was exhausted. That deep pain was back again, this time centered in his chest. 

He didn't know how Utahime did it. How could she yell for so long without feeling like she was going to die?

But then again… He was actually dying…

Damn, his head hurt too.  

"I'm sorry, Utahime," he repeated in a whisper.  

When she didn't say anything he took a deep breath and shoved all of the confusion as deep as he could. He wasn't getting anywhere, all he was doing was further ruining chances of salvaging the friendship he desperately wanted to cling to.  

A want that was starting to feel very one sided… 

"You don't have to worry… I-I convinced Shoko to take you under her wing— no transactions— you'll be safe with her," he mumbled and forced a smile. 

"Okay," she mumbled and looked down at her feet. 

"It's for the best," he mumbled, part to fill the heavy silence, mostly in the hopes that she'd fight him on it. She fought him so much lately, he wanted her to fight him on this too… 

He wanted her to scream at him, throw something at him, hit him, something , anything… 

He wanted her to fight for them… 

"Okay…" she whispered again instead.

He felt ill.  "Oh… kay…"

.

.

They met in the castle gardens on a bright sunny day in the spring. 

It was warm and breezy, precisely the kind of day that young Satoru loved to go out and play.

He was five years of age and already learned that a small tremble of his lip and a bat of his magical eyes could get him just about anything. So he used this ability to convince the wet nurse watching over him to let him outside. 

Where he ran off into the gardens as fast as his legs could carry him. Being small and energetic, he could easily get away from an older woman in layered skirts. 

And so he spent the afternoon chasing bees and butterflies, tossing bugs into spider webs, and tasting things he probably shouldn't be.  

But he was enamored with the colors that filled the gardens, being able to see shades that no one had names for.  The beetle that was green but not quite, the butterfly whose wings mysteriously matched his eyes, the bee that had all those tiny little hairs, and all the weird shapes in the red of a fly's eye. 

So when he saw the tiny shadow dart across the garden, he just had to give chase.

  You're not a shadow!  He had said to the tiny ball of fluff he cornered near the rose bush. 

No, I'm a girl!  The tiny ball had said.

Satoru remembered how confused he had been. Girls weren't tiny fluffy balls, were they? 

But this one was apparently, and this one was full of fury, and just so happened to look more like a cat than anything. 

You're soft! 

Don't touch me! 

Oh… why? 

I… I don't know you. 

Oh, I'm Satoru… who are you? 

Um… I don't know…

You don't have a name? 

No… 

Oh, well… I'll call you, Girl for now! So, now we know each other! 

He'd jumped at her after that, and chased the poor thing until he had her in his arms.  You're a cat! A cat that can talk… cool! 

Oh… you think so? 

Yeah. I do. 

He'd carried her over to sneak food from the kitchen , and sat with her in the garden while they ate the scraps he had salvaged. 

Do you want to be my friend? He asked her at the end of the day, and they were both tired from playing and running all throughout the gardens. 

Yeah, I do, she had said and cuddled up close to his side.

He snuck her into his room a few days later to beat the rain, and a few days after that he helped her pick out a name from his favorite story books. And a few days after that, he tied a ribbon around her neck because— You're a girl, and all girls wear ribbons. 

And it was a week after that while they were walking through town that she jumped on a cart and snuck off with a pair of round sunglasses that were too big for his face. 

You squint all the time but you see things just fine, so maybe it's the light? 

And she'd been right, and from then on she never left his side… 

.

It hadn't been his intention, but finding himself in the gardens where they met almost twenty years ago felt appropriate. 

He held her against his chest while he walked. Originally, he intended to go straight to see Shoko, but his mind began to wander, and before he knew it he was outside in the familiar gardens… 

He stopped in front of the same rose bush he found her at, and carefully set her down in the grass. 

She changed back to her human form then, but kept her eyes focused on the ground. 

"Don't worry, it won't hurt," he said as he finished drawing the required magic circle in the dirt. It was overcast now, the sky dreary and dull, nothing like it was the day they met. 

"I'm not worried," Utahime mumbled, her eyes still stuck to the ground. 

"I know…" he said and stood up to face her.

Her hair was loose around her shoulders, the wind blowing it ever so slightly into her eyes.  

The dress she wore was pretty, and he realized with a deep pang that it was the same dress he got for her twentieth birthday… 

A lovely blue dress that flowed around her so prettily… it still looked just as good on her. Seeing her in it made him feel nostalgic. 

He'd made lots of plans for her special day, twenty years was a big deal for familiars, and he wanted it to be memorable for her.  Special… 

He remembered she'd been so happy that day,  he didn't think he'd ever seen her smile the way she did that day since.  He'd taken her to a play, and then he'd taken her dancing… 

They hadn't done anything fun like that together since… Why hadn't they? He would have liked to… 

In Utahime's hands was her ribbon, the frayed ends a sad reminder of what became of their bond. He still didn't understand it, and he knew he never would. She sighed softly and gently set it down in the middle of the circle. 

This girl had been his shadow for damn near twenty years, she'd been his first friend, his best friend,  his inner voice, his light, his other half… 

Satoru took his sunglasses off and set them down beside her bow in the center of the magic circle. He held his hands together to start the spell, but hesitated. 

Gods, he still wanted her to stop him.  

After an awkward stretch of silence she glanced up at him with a frown on her pretty face. "Uh, is it done? Or…"

He frowned and murmured the spell under his breath. Conscidisti animam meam in duas .

The sigils ignited with golden fire, the flames flickering slowly towards the center of the circle. 

"I think… we should say something nice about each other… before… it's over," he mumbled. 

"Is this for the spell?"

"It's for me," he said without thinking.  "Erm… I mean,  since our trip went so terribly, I think it'll be good… for us… I'll, uh, go first…" he cleared his throat and forced a smile.  "I'm glad I met you, Utahime…"

She nodded stiffly. "Me too…"

The crackling of the fire between them quickly filled the silence, but all it did was make him feel restless. The selfish part of him really didn't want to do this. He wanted to cancel this damn spell and drag her home. He wanted to apologize to her, punish her, apologize again, and make sure their fragile bond went back to how it once was… even if he had to force it. 

They'd been so close that it was hard to tell where one of their energy's ended and the other's began. 

He saw her pretty much every day of his life. Even on the occasions they didn't speak, they sat together, did chores together, bled together… 

And he hadn't even realized it was falling apart until it was too late… 

He had no memories of being without her, not really, not clear ones. 

"I like the way your nose scrunches when you're confused or angry," he blurted out. 

Her nose scrunched up. "We already said our nice thing."

"I have more."

"More isn't necessary."

"I like how you sing to yourself when you wash dishes, or garden."

She frowned and glared at him.  "I do not!"

"Mh… then you were singing to the suds?" He smiled and playfully tugged a lock of her hair.  "Oor, you were singing to me?"

She smacked his hand away. "No."

"Hm…"

She took a deep breath and looked down at the flames as they slowly began to devour her bow. She shuddered, and he felt the chill.  

"I… I like how you… do magic…" she finally whispered.

"How so?"

"You… make it… feel like magic," she said even softer. 

He smirked and leaned back on his heels. "And here I thought for the past twenty years you hated it."

"It's just… annoying."

"Mh, do you have anything else?"

"I don't."

"I do… I have many things—  I like that you'd always make orange juice for me on Sunday mornings… Ah… I'm going to miss that," he murmured, and closed his eyes. 

She huffed.  "Luckily you can make your own juice."

"I can."

The flames began to consume his sunglasses now and he felt another cold uncomfortable chill creep up his spine. It felt kind of like a burn, and simultaneously like something was being torn up inside him… 

It didn't hurt, but… It really did at the same time. 

Utahime shifted awkwardly and bit her lip,  she looked pained, her face reflected how he felt. "I-I… like how your dimples show when you smile…" she whispered softly.  

He immediately grinned and leaned in closer to her. "Really?"

She shoved him back.  "Ugh– t-that's enough I think."

"But I have more things…" he said, suddenly desperate to get them all out before everything between them turned to ash. He wanted her to know, he wanted her to know how much he valued her, how much she meant to him, he needed her to know… just in case… 

"I agreed to one thing."

"I like the adorable little huffy face you make when you're angry, your cheeks puff out like mochi," he whispered quickly. 

She huffed angrily and shot him a glare. "Stop."

"Why?"

"It's not necessary."

"I think it is."

"It isn't."

"Your turn."

"No."

"Just one more…"

She closed her eyes and hugged herself, and Satoru couldn't help but wonder if she was cold, because he sure was.

"I like… your cooking… you've gotten really good over the years…" she said with a sigh. 

He spoke quickly. "I like how you always shield your face with your hand when you eat, as if you're trying to hide your chewing from me," he said, smiling. 

"It's rude to talk with your mouth full!" She protested. "And why would you like that? That's so weird."

"Mh,  and I like how your hair sticks to your lips in the wind when you wear gloss," he murmured and slowly tucked a rogue lock of hair behind her ear, pulling a few stands away from her mouth in the process. 

"That's weird, Gojo," Utahime whispered, her cheeks flushed pink. "You're saying weird things, are you making fun of me?"

He shook his head, his throat felt tight. "I like the color of your hair…" he said as he twisted a lock of it around his finger. "I like how it feels around my fingers."

She slapped his hand away, her cheeks a deeper pink than before.  "H-Haven't I told you not to say those kinds of things?!"

He caught her wrist and squeezed her hand gently. "I don't get why you don't want me to tell the truth."

"Some things are better left unsaid," she whispered.

Satoru glanced down at the crackling fire, their bond was pretty much gone. He couldn't see their items anymore, and when he reached within himself to tug on their bond — he felt nothing. He felt hollow.  He tightened his grip on her hand. Her hand felt so small in his own, his fingers overlapped around her wrist. He liked that too, now that he thought about it…  Some things are better left unsaid… 

"Hime—"

She shook her head. "It's done, Gojo…please just… let go…"

"I like how your hand feels in mine—"

"Gojo!" She whispered harshly and tried to pull her hand away. He held on even tighter. 

"I like how small you are compared to me…"

"Shut up!"

He wasn't thinking anymore.  "I like the way you say my name."

" Enough …" she growled and yanked her hand out of his grip, but he quickly grabbed her wrist again and tugged her closer. "You can't just say those kinds of things…" she said, breathless.

"Can you say it? One more time…" 

She frowned and stepped away. "Gojo, stop , please, you're making this harder than it—"

"My name, Hime… please?" He whispered and stepped closer to her, over the ashes that once tied them together. 

She turned away from him and the lump in his throat burned so fiercely he felt like he couldn't breathe. His heart was pounding. 

"Hime—"

She suddenly threw her arms around him in probably the first real hug she's given him in at least five years. He tensed, thrown off by her abrupt embrace. Before he could react she turned around and ran.

He didn't let her get far, a second later he snatched her wrist out of the air and tugged her back, she whirled on him, her eyes full of tears. 

"Let me go!"

"No," he whispered around the lump in his throat. 

"L-Let me go, Gojo! It's done!" She cried.

"I told Shoko I'd bring you to her."

She yanked on her wrist. "I don't want you to!"

"Hime—"

"N-No! Let me go!" She sobbed. "I-I hate you…" she added in such a soft whisper he almost missed it. 

"I-I know…" he murmured and bit his lip as he tugged her towards him, even as she resisted. 

He yanked her forward, forcing her to lose her balance and crash into him.  She pushed him away, but he swiftly locked her in a hug, crushed her against him as tightly as he could. She squeaked in protest, but he only tightened his grip. 

Her hair was so soft, it felt like silk against his cheek.  He nuzzled his face further into her hair and sighed.  He could still smell the faint sweet perfume of her shampoo, strawberries… 

She stopped struggling and clung to him instead as her body shook as muted sobs trembled through her. 

"I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I tried… I-I tried to be good…" she mumbled against his coat.

"It's okay, it's okay, you are good, you're the best, you'll always be my favorite girl," he rambled, muffled by her hair. 

Gods this felt so… so right… and—

She stepped away.

"W-Why do you always say such things?" She whispered as she wiped her face. 

He instinctively reached out to help her but she turned away, leaving him to awkwardly drop his hand in the space between them. 

Damn he had no idea how to answer her except for. "The truth?" He murmured around the fire in his throat. 

He subconsciously tugged on their link only to find nothing there and his head spun. It felt wrong– so wrong– Like he was missing a piece of himself. 

But this was the right thing to do. This way they could still be friends, this way they could part ways on good terms… 

"I… I'll walk you back to Shoko… to be safe," he mumbled.

She shook her head and gently pushed his hands away, her eyes still trained on her feet.   "I can't… I can't bear it… You should just… go see Master Yaga. I'm sure he's worried…" she whispered.

"Are you sure? I can go with you, the old man can wait longer—"

"I'm sure."

His mouth felt dry and he nodded dumbly. "Then… at least take this—" He mumbled and plucked a strand of his hair off his head.  "A piece of my infinity…" he explained and blew on it, sending his magic into it. 

And just because she said she liked it, when he enchanted it, he sent an iridescent shimmer through it. It glimmered with an internal light, a faint lavender, a remnant of their combined magic that he still clung to,  a shard of what he firmly locked within himself like a dragon guarding its hoard.  

The strand shifted into a thin silk little ribbon in the air and slowly circled her left middle finger like a ring before tying itself into a perfect little infinity knot. 

"It'll disappear when you get to where you need to be…" he murmured softly. 

Utahime looked down at her finger then finally at his face again. 

The skin under her eyes was so red and puffy, her honey eyes glossy, and dull.   Gods, he hated seeing her like that… 

"Goodbye Satoru…" she whispered and turned around and ran, and this time, he didn't chase her.

This time, he didn't reach out to her. 

This time, he let her go.

Chapter Text

Utahime barely knew how to talk when she first learned her place in the world. 

It was her earliest memory, she was asleep in a sunbeam beside an older spirit, had it been a friend, a parent? She couldn't remember, and she would never know. 

But the day had been nice, the sun was warm but then she remembered how the sun had suddenly disappeared— they had been captured in a magic box. 

Her companion was thrown into a carriage to be sold, and little Utahime was grabbed by the scruff of her neck and poked and prodded before being thrown to the wayside. Too small to be of use the strangers had said, too weak to be of any value. Not worth the bother. 

She would only understand as an adult how lucky she had been to be thrown away that day… 

A few years later she was given a brutal reminder when a spirit who fed her scraps at night was hung from her master's apple tree. The crime? Feeding unwanted food to an unwanted child. 

Utahime spent that night frightened and hiding in her dead friend's apron to hide from the anger of who her friend had called Master as he rummaged and dug around, searching for where she had gone. 

He wanted to teach her a lesson, Show her her place.  

As soon as the terrifying man went to sleep, she jumped off into the night and ran away and never looked back. 

.

.

Another year of running and drifting flew by when she was reminded yet again that she was not worth even a passing glance. 

She was curled up hiding in an old shoe she thought abandoned when she was lifted in the air and thoughtlessly thrown down the street. She was lucky she landed on her tiny little feet. 

That's when she learned she was incomplete, a wayward soul, a half being. If she was only half, then where was the rest of her? Had she lost it somehow? Could she find it again? What was this master that everyone spoke of? How did they know she did not have one?

You don't have a master? We don't sell to half beings, away with you… 

No half-beings allowed on premises. 

Tiny and masterless, even if she had a coin to spare for a few crumbs of bread, she was looked over, looked through and ignored as if she weren't even there.

Somehow, some people could tell she was incomplete, and some people could not, she learned that those who could not tell did not have the same kind of energy that she could see floating all around her.

But she was drawn to the energy, to magic, and by listening and watching, she learned that these people were witches, many of them had people just like her  hanging around them.

So where was her's? Did she have to ask for one? That's when she learned she was what they called, a familiar. 

Utahime asked a random witch that night if he would be her master, because she desperately wanted something fresh to eat, and she wanted to be complete. 

But the witch had laughed, and said she was too small and weak and that she would be of no use to him. 

Who would want a familiar that has practically no magic? You're too tiny, and your magic is practically non-existent. Go to the red light district, you'll at least be of use to someone there.

And so, trusting and naive, Utahime snuck into a room of one such place. 

It was too warm inside, the energy was awful, and the smell was unbearable. The terrible scent masked by some kind of perfume that made her eyes water. 

Utahime had been in the room for only a few moments when she was grabbed by the scruff of her neck and brought face to face with a woman, another being like her, a familiar. 

She was beautiful, but she was furious. Her face looked like a painting, a sad one, an angry one. 

What are you doing here?! The woman had seethed.

I belong here, don't I?  Utahime had asked,  hopeful, her little heart thudding with unease. 

The woman was like her, Utahime could sense it, but she was not kind. The door of the room began to open, and the woman hurled her out of the window.  

Leave here! And never return! The woman hissed and swiftly shut the window. 

Confused, hurt, and frightened, Utahime ran away until she was sick. 

Weeks later, she found herself in a small chapel where she discovered a shelf with round little crackers. Starving, she snuck a bite of one before a young man the same kind as she snatched her off the shelf. 

You cannot stay here little one, if my master sees you there will be trouble, you are a girl, and girls are not permitted back here. The man had said, but still gave her a bit of meat to stave off the pain then set her down outside by a statue of a woman holding a star. 

It was there with tears in her eyes that Utahime begged the pretty star lady to take her away, for she no longer had the will to run. 

Another week later, running once again, terrified and lost amidst a garden of beauty she was too exhausted to see, she was finally found. 

You're not a shadow!  A small boy with stars for eyes had said.  

Cornered and trembling, Utahime had grit her teeth and yelled with all her might.  No, I'm a girl!  

The strange boy's starry eyes crinkled when he smiled, and his hand was just as dirty as she was when he reached out to her and asked. 

Do you want to be my friend? 

And Utahime nearly cried when she sadly admitted. I'm incomplete… you wouldn't want me… 

But the boy's smile remained, and he held his hand closer to her face and said. You look perfect to me. We can be friends, if you wanna be.

And Utahime had nodded and hesitantly pressed her tiny face into his little hand, and felt for the first time, a gentle touch as he pet her between her little ears with the pads of his equally little fingers. 

Yes, I wanna be…   

And if his eyes were stars, then his grin was like the sun. 

As it turned out, the boy had been right, she was a shadow, the shadow to a boy with stars for eyes, the shadow of a little piece of infinity. 

And when he pulled her into his arms she knew she had finally found where she needed to be…

.

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

.

Utahime was so, so proud of Gojo. She could barely believe he'd come so far! No one believed an eighteen year old could accomplish such a feat by hand, but he'd done it, under a year too! And though he used a touch of magic here and there, the majority of the building was done by hand. 

 The shop looked beautiful too! It was perfect! She was so happy for him that she had tears in her eyes. 

"Uta! Look!"

Utahime set her paint brush down and stood up right as Gojo crashed into her. She gasped as he lifted her up in the air and spun her around with a laugh. 

"Uta, it's official! We've done it!" Gojo said, and nuzzled his nose against hers before setting her down to shove a few documents in her face. 

Utahime took them and quickly looked them over.  It was the deed to their new shop, their house, their home , and, shockingly, it had her name on it too. 

"Gojo!" She whispered as she clutched the paperwork to her chest. "W-Why did you—?"

"Why not?" He asked as he dug through his pockets. "You helped me build this—"

"I hardly did anything!"

"You helped me with design and painting— this place is yours just as much as mine!" Gojo said, and shoved a set of keys in her face.  One was decorated with two little pointed cat ears.  

Utahime gasped and cupped her hands over his. "Is this… for me?"

He was grinning so much both of his dimples were showing. "Yup! I got one made just for you,  Uta! I want you to be the one to unlock the door!" 

She took the key with the cat ears and clutched it to her chest. "It's already unlocked, Gojo, we just put the lock on this morning!"

He nudged her closer to the shop. "It's symbolic, Uta, I want you to do it!"

Heat flushed into her cheeks and she nodded. "Fine, I'll use the key if you push the door open!"

"Deal! C'mon!" He said and all but carried her to the front door. 

She couldn't help but giggle in amusement, high on his excitement, and drunk off their shared joy.

She turned the lock moments before Gojo pushed the door open, and then he was lifting her into the air again, throwing her over his shoulder as if she weighed nothing. 

She gasped in surprise and he cackled in amusement as he carried her over the threshold of the home they spent the last few months building by hand.

Utahime struggled in a half hearted attempt to get free, but didn't really put any effort into it. 

"Put me down, Gojo!" She demanded through breathless giggles.

"Never!" He said, laughing as he spun around, making her squeal. 

"Ah! Don't drop me!"

He merely laughed again and spun her faster until they fell in a dizzy heap on the polished hardwood, a tangled mess of limbs and laughter in the middle of the empty shop that held so much potential and promise. 

Overwhelmed, Utahime transformed into a cat so she could free herself, but Gojo just grabbed her and tucked her in tight to his chest. 

"We did it Uta, we did it… thank you…so much, " he murmured and kissed the top of her head, making her heart thud oddly in her chest. 

This wasn't the first time he did this, though he only did so while she was in her cat form. She had no idea why, but it always made her heart react the same way every single time. 

Utahime was glad he couldn't see her blush in this form, because she knew she'd be as red as a tomato. 

"W-What are you thanking me for?" She grumbled, forcing annoyance into her tone to mask the confusing way her voice shook. 

"You've helped me so much… We did this together… I wouldn't be here if not for you," he squeezed her tightly for a few beats and sat up with a happy sigh, letting her move off to sit beside him.  

.

His shop,  dubbed Fivesongs, an amalgamation of their own names translated to human words. A tribute to their shared bond, he had explained, when he suggested it. 

And Utahime had been speechless, not understanding why he would want to tie her name to the shop he worked so hard to build, but he'd insisted, and she relented. 

She relented because it was an honor and because he had been so excited to make the shop a reality. 

He wanted to help people, because he wanted to give humans a small taste of the comforts of their world, because he wanted to use his magic for good. 

.

"Mh, I'm proud of you, Gojo," Utahime murmured, and willed him to feel how much she really was. 

He grinned and scrambled to his feet. "Oh! Don't move, I left something outside," he said and rushed off. 

Utahime smiled to herself and waited patiently for him to come back, already expecting what he was up to. 

Gojo burst back in the building with a box of various stuff, already mid sentence when he returned to her side, but she still knew what he'd said through their bond. 

I got all this today because– "–I think we should camp out here for the night! Our first official night in our new home!" He said, breathless and grinning as he all but collapsed beside her, his long lanky limbs stretched out across the hardwood.  

Utahime peered into the box and nodded. "Okay! That sounds fun!"

Beaming like the sun, Gojo dug out a few pillows from the box and various mismatched blankets. He cocooned her in a patchy blanket and lifted her up to sit on a pillow before draping a blanket over his own shoulders. 

"I got us some food too," he said and took out a small paper bag with a modest sandwich.  "I know it's not much, but—"

"It smells delicious!" Utahime said happily. It was enough. It was more than enough. They had a beautiful roof over their head and food to boot! It was perfect.

 "It's got the sauce you like," he said and tore the sandwich in half and set a piece in front of her.  

"It's good!" Utahime said and happily ate while Gojo went on talking about how long the line was in the town office he went to in order to register the shop. 

He eventually moved on to talking about the prices in the market, and then to what kinds of things he wanted to sell at the shop.

They'd already talked about the planned inventory for weeks while they built up the shop, but Utahime listened anyway, excited for the future, excited for him.   

He was lovely as he gushed about his plans, even with his sunglasses, his bright blue eyes shined like the sunbeam that shone through the large window. 

Utahime only ate half of the half he gave her, and jumped over to place the rest of her food on his knee. She wanted him to have it. They'd been struggling with food for a while now, most of their funds going to building the shop. She didn't miss how he gave her the bigger piece of the sandwich, and she knew he needed more food than her. 

She could make it through the day with less food simply because he was so much larger than her. He got tired faster than her, he used more energy than she did, and as his familiar, she could even afford to skip a few days of food all together so long as he was healthy enough. 

He glanced at her and she nodded, urging him to take it without words. 

He smiled, lopsided and pretty, and gently pet the top of her head as he accepted the food from her. "Thanks, Uta," he murmured. "What would I do without you?"

She smiled and jumped up on his shoulder so she could nudge her head against his cheek. "Lucky you'll never need to know!"

He grinned and pulled her back into another overwhelming hug. "I know."

.

A few weeks later they celebrated the grand opening of the shop by getting themselves a ton of groceries so they could make themselves a feast for supper. They made all kinds of different dishes, excited to finally have a proper meal.

The first day of sales was huge! Utahime had never seen so much money in their possession before.  Granted they had a lot of debt to pay off still, but they no longer needed to worry about food.

"It's all thanks to you, Uta!" Gojo said as he peeled the potatoes Utahime set out for the stew she was making. They'd taken turns making each dish, and the stew Utahime was making had been her idea due to the cooling weather. 

"I barely did anything!" She insisted, her cheeks warm from his praise. 

"You hung up those papers for me, and I know you were advertising the shop when you went out! Humans didn't stop asking about the adorable talking cat! We made bank, I'm so grateful," he said.  

Utahime smiled and looked up at him, let him feel just how happy and grateful she was for him. 

His grin widened and he pulled her into a tight hug, causing her to yelp in surprise. He pressed his cheek against hers so closely, a bit of his unruly hair got in her mouth. 

"Hey! You're going to make me mess up the food! " she half heartedly complained and pushed his face away.

He laughed softly and nuzzled his face against her palm before stepping away. "Yeah, yeah," he mused and sat on the counter beside her and started prattling on about the strange requests the humans asked him for and how he could solve their issues. Various aches and pains, things they've forgotten, a table that won't stand straight, a haunted garden, all things he was fascinated by, all things he was determined to find a solution for. 

Utahime offered her two cents when needed, and shoved various things in his hands for him to peel or mix to help in the cooking process. 

He worked surprisingly efficiently while distracted, his eyes not even focused on what he was doing as he stared off into space and yapped her ear off. Utahime wasn't actually surprised though, he was good at everything, almost as if it was his second nature, to master any task given to him. 

Gojo Satoru was perfect, and that made her only want to try harder to keep up, to be of use, to be worthy of the praise that he so easily gave her for the smallest of things. 

Everyday when she opened her eyes she was only more honored that he was her Master, and everyday she tried her absolute hardest to get him to beam at her with that absolutely radiant smile of his. 

Gojo's smile could literally enchant an entire room, and many times Utahime wondered if a god really had blessed his birth as the maids at the castle often said.

Because when he used his magic his eyes would glow , they'd pulse with such a striking light that she was left in awe of his magnificence. 

They said the gods bled silver and gold, and many witches wondered if the unique silver sheen of Gojo's hair indicated that he was more than he seemed. But even with as powerful as he was, Utahime knew he still bled red, and so she did her best to remind him of that so he wouldn't get himself hurt. 

Of course she'd never tell him these things. As much as she adored him, hyping him up was dangerous, and she believed it was her duty as his familiar to keep him safe, to keep him tethered to the earth. 

Why else had they found each other? Why else was their bond so tight despite her obvious weakness in comparison to him?

"Here," Utahime said and tapped the spoon of stew against his lips so he could taste — and shut up for a few seconds. 

He grinned as soon as he tasted it. "That's good! I haven't tasted anything like that in awhile!"

"You said that about all the other food we made," she said, laughing, and reached over to wipe the corner of his mouth with her fingers. 

He angled his face to make it easier for her. "Mhm, but it is still true, besides you made this!" 

Heat flushed in her cheeks and she quickly looked away to focus on the food. "You sayin' I can't cook?!" She accused as an excuse to hide how flustered she was. 

He snorted and squished her cheek. "Silly-Uta~" he murmured and reached over her head to grab a nearby mixing bowl. "We should make a cake too! I haven't had something sweet in ages."

Blushing, she nodded and grabbed the flour, eager to please him, eager to see that radiant smile once more. "Okay!"

She adored him so much.  Adored his shining eyes and playful laugh, his pretty smile, and heart of gold… 

.

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

.

They were a year into their business when they started struggling with supplies. Due to market and environmental issues, getting ahold of the special plants they needed for the potions Gojo made was almost impossible. Shipping was backed up weeks, and their funds started to dip.

They were back to cutting on food when Utahime suggested they grow their own plants. They should have from the start, the backyard was big enough, even if the dirt was dry and bare.

Finding the time to get it ready was another story… 

.

"What do you think?" Gojo asked as he moved his hands off Utahime's eyes. 

Utahime looked around with her breath caught in her throat.  Their backyard had been converted into a lovely garden plot. The smell of fresh dirt was soft in the air, and there was a modest stone path that winded through the plot that made it all look quaint and cozy. 

"Oh my gosh, it looks beautiful! I can already imagine it full of flowers and herbs!" Utahime exclaimed. 

Gojo moved to stand in front of her, his signature lopsided grin decorating his face. He looked so proud and excited, his pants still stained with dirt, giving away his efforts. 

  "Oh yeah? What kind of plants you thinkin',  Uta?" 

She grinned back and looked around. "Obviously the basics, sage, rosemary, thyme, various mint— oh! Honeysuckle, wolfsbane, bloodroot– oh, you think we could get a hold of firemoss, and toadflax? What about—"

"Whoa, whoa, hold up, I gotta write this down," Gojo laughed as he fumbled to get a piece of parchment from his pocket. He picked up a stick and transfigured it into charcoal and quickly took a few notes. "Do you want to plant some things for the kitchen too?"

Utahime gasped and nodded eagerly. "Great idea! Half can be a vegetable garden! 

"We need a few berry bushes too in that case," he said, grinning. 

"Strawberries?" Utahime suggested knowingly, matching his lovely smile. 

"Mhm! All the red and blue berries," he said and added them to the list. 

She moved over to him and stood on her tiptoes so she could look over the list in his hands. He lowered it for her, and she noticed he'd added her favorite flowers to the list, and her smile only grew. 

"When do you want to get started?" She asked as she looked up at him. 

He poked her nose with the charcoal. "This Saturday, we can go shopping for the seeds on Friday during lunch and spend Saturday in the garden!"  

Utahime wiped her nose and narrowed her eyes when she saw the black smudge on her hand. "Gojo!"

He smirked and smudged more on her forehead. Utahime gasped dramatically, not actually upset, and quickly swiped the charcoal from his hand. 

He laughed and tried to steal it back, but she jumped back and shifted into a cat to get away. 

"Can't get away that easy, Uta," he said, and lunged at her. 

Utahime squeaked and jumped back again just in time to slip away.  While he was clumsily scrambling to his feet, she rubbed her paws on the charcoal and let him snatch her up.  

She yelped when he lifted her into the air from the sudden orientation change and when he turned her around to look at her she lightly smacked his cheeks with her paws– leaving her little pawprints on his face. 

Utahime laughed triumphantly and shared her sight with him for a beat so he could see her victory.

For a few seconds his eyes flashed a golden amber, mirroring her own eyes, and his grip on her relaxed ever so slightly before his charming grin resurfaced. When he blinked his eyes faded back to ocean blue. 

"Wow, did you see that handsome man?" he asked, smirking as he set her down on the grass.

Utahime rolled her eyes.  "I dunno, I'll let you know if I ever see one."

He snorted softly and laid down beside her just as a sunbeam peeked out of the clouds. The golden light lit his face up, making his silver hair look almost white in the direct light. 

His skin was like marble, and when he smiled at her, it was uncharacteristically soft, it felt every bit as enchanting as his full grin, but somehow even more potent. 

She had to look away.  It was too much.  

"Thank you for this, I can tell you worked hard," she said after a few beats of peaceful silence. I need to be better, I have to keep up… 

"Hmm, nothing but the best for my favorite girl," he murmured.

Her heart slammed against her ribs and she risked a glance at his face.  His eyes were closed, and he looked so serene, Utahime nearly convinced herself she was hearing things. 

It shouldn't feel weird, hearing him say something like that. Witches used possessive language all the time in reference to their familiars, but at the same time, he's never said anything like that to her before, and his tone had been far too soft. Even worse, her heart was pounding like crazy… 

Utahime scrunched her nose up in displeasure and lightly smacked his shoulder with her paw. "Don't say things like that, dummy!"

He laughed and flicked a few stands of grass in her face, and they erupted into a flurry of little white petals and pretty golden flakes.  

She smacked a few out of the air, then pounced on his chest.  "Brat!" She said with a huff.

"Oof! So heavy!" He complained with a dramatic groan. 

She gasped. "I am not!"

He snickered and squashed her against him in a tight hug then rolled over and trapped her under him. 

Utahime yelped from the sudden weight, but found she wasn't uncomfortable, so she let it be. 

After only a few minutes he was out like a light. 

She let him sleep.  She knew he didn't sleep much. He worked hard running the shop, and even though she helped him as much as she could, he always insisted she take breaks or just go outside to enjoy the weather. 

She felt a little guilty about it, but she also didn't want to deny a direct request from him, so she did her best to bring him back trinkets and sweets from her adventures, or to find something entertaining to watch and share with him. 

Many times she'd lure people to the shop, using her walks as little advertisement runs.  

She wanted the business to do well enough that he'd be able to cut the hours if he wanted. Because as much as she liked sitting out in the sun, she adored this so much more– sitting outside with him. 

Being able to relax with him, and laze the day away… that's what she wanted most. 

So she let him use her body as a little pillow, because deep down,  she adored this. She adored the way he'd nuzzle into her fur, adored the way he'd hold her so close… 

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

It was custom for familiars to recognize their birthdays on the day they were bonded to their masters. Since they weren't really seen as full beings in the first place, knowing the day they came into existence didn't really matter, and many of Utahime's kind really didn't know when they came into being. 

If they changed masters, their written birthday, name and age changed. Only if they remained in their former master's family were they permitted to keep their information the same.  

Gojo had let Utahime pick her name when they first met. A privilege unheard of, but what did children of barely five years know? 

He knew how to read, and since she didn't, he read her a list of names he wrote that belonged to characters in his storybooks that he thought sounded pretty. He patiently scoured through all of the books in his room and then took a few more from the castle library  until she finally heard one that she liked. 

I like Utahime… I think she had said.

Gojo smiled at her, his starry eyes twinkling.  Yeah? I think it fits. I heard you singing before, did you know Utahime means song princess? 

Utahime had deflated a bit hearing that, saddened. But I'm not a princess… She explained. 

But Gojo had shaken his head and lifted her into his arms. You can be, you live in a castle now, and you sing and it's pretty— you'll be Utahime, if you wanna be. 

And she'd smiled, so happy she thought she might cry.  Yes! I wanna be!

Being known as familiars of over twenty years in this day and age was an honor. It was rare and even rarer still to be known as fifty or more. It meant that they were worth something, it meant they were important, valuable, wanted . 

They were closer to the fae in nature than anything, and could exist for many centuries unbonded, while witches have only been known to achieve at most two.

Utahime celebrated her birthday on the day she met Gojo, because that was the day she felt most alive, and the day that made the most sense. She considered herself to be at the very least the same age as him, as she'd been a child as well when they met. So when she'd shyly asked him to view her as his peer in age when he was twelve and their bond and by extension, herself had only been seven, he easily agreed, claiming she could be older if she wanted.  

You probably are older than me anyway, you sure act like it! Bossy-Uta!

And Utahime had protested against such a nickname, but evidently let it go as she was never actually mad at him. Annoyed maybe, but never anything more. 

Besides, Utahime really didn't know if she was truly older than him, so she happily accepted being known as his peer. 

And it was on her twentieth birthday that Utahime made the worst mistake of her life… 

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

"Happy birthday, Uta~Hi~me!" Gojo sang as he burst into her room, all smiley and hyped for reasons that she had no clue over so early in the morning. 

"Good morning, Gojo!" Utahime beamed, his happiness affecting her completely. 

"I closed the shop today! We're going to celebrate your day!" He announced and tossed a dark blue dress on the bed, along with a ridiculous burst of shimmery light. "Get dressed! I'm taking you to a show!" He announced and rushed out of the room in a flurry. 

Curious, excited, and nervous,  Utahime jumped to her feet and inspected the dress. It was so soft! This kind of material was expensive! What was he thinking? 

Nervous, she changed into the pretty dress, and applied a bit of pink gloss to her lips, just because it felt appropriate. After brushing her hair into a half up ponytail, she made sure her precious bow was safely secured to her ponytail. 

It was a new style, one she privately experimented with.  Her twentieth birthday seemed as good a time as any to change out of her typical loose pigtails.

Satisfied with her hair, she pulled on her lace up boots before hurrying to the living room where Gojo was. 

As soon she stepped into the room he rushed to her side. "Look at that, it looks good on you!" He said, grinning. "Lemme see a twirl~!"

"It's too nice, Gojo!" She argued, worried about their budget, but hesitantly twirled for him anyway. The dress really was lovely, the skirts kicked up around her so prettily. 

Gojo whistled. "Prettier than a princess~"

Utahime glared at him. "I'm not! This is way too much!"

He was all smiles, his cheeks just a tad rosey– probably holding back a laugh. "Nonsense, you deserve the absolute best! I like the new hair by the way, it looks good." 

Her face warmed. He noticed quickly! "Thank you…"

He nodded, smiling still so prettily. "Mhm~"

He summoned a small pastel purple box into his hands. It poofed with similarly colored glitter to the way their entwined magic glowed, and when he handed it to her, it pulsed with a delicate warmth. 

"Happy birthday, Hime," he murmured, his smile soft. 

"Oh… Gojo! It's too much!" Utahime whispered, afraid to even touch it.

"You haven't even seen it yet!" He said and gently nudged the box into her hands. "Open it, Uta, please?"

Blushing, she nodded and carefully opened the box. 

Inside was another smaller box that fit in her hand. It was the same purple color of their combined magic, a beautiful soft lavender. It was decorated with silver embellishments, and her hands shook as she shot him a glare, already knowing this was definitely too expensive. But his excitement was impossible to ignore; he was practically vibrating at her side from it, so she took a deep breath and opened up the little box.

She gasped. 

Silver tiny figures of birds came to life, they flew in a small circle to a beautiful, soothing tune— an enchanted music box that fit in her hand.

"Gojo!" Utahime whispered, speechless and in awe. 

"Little birdies for my pretty little songbird," he murmured and gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. 

Face ablaze, Utahime looked down so she could examine the intricate details on the tiny music box.  The silver birds almost looked alive, and the song was one she sang often. It was one she knew without really knowing how, a song that came from her heart. 

My pretty little songbird… 

He started calling her that on occasion after catching her singing with the birds one foggy morning in their backyard garden. She thought it was ridiculous, especially since she was no bird! And she told him as much, but he merely laughed and blinded her with his perfect, beautiful smile, and patted the top of her head.

Do you want to know what it's like to be one?  He'd asked, that pretty smile still on his face, his eyes glowing with magic. 

And Utahime had declined out of stubbornness, and he merely laughed and waltzed away. Ever since then she couldn't help but look at the sky and wonder… 

"Now you have birds to sing with when the ones outside your window are away for the winter~" he said as he stepped away. 

Utahime nervously fussed with her hair and beautiful dress, another gift from him she realized. She was speechless, and suddenly felt overdressed and out of place.

Gojo reached forward and gently tilted her chin up. "Do you like it, Hime?" he murmured softly and gently brushed his fingers along the line of her jaw.

His gentleness threw her off, had he always been so sweet? She also couldn't help but notice her newest nickname, she had no idea why, but it was one of her favorites. 

"I… I love it…" Utahime whispered, her eyes watery with a deep, strange emotion. She carefully closed the box and cradled it to her chest for a beat before setting it on the table.

He grinned and grabbed her hand.  "Good. I knew you would, come on! Now we can get to the fun part~" he said with a wink and dragged her outside. 

"Y-You shouldn't say such things!" Utahime protested, half hearted and soft. Something deep was swirling in her soul, and it fluttered like a bird in a cage. 

He glanced back at her, his smile lopsided and lovely. "What things?"

"N-Nothing!" 

He laughed and tightened his grip on her hand. 

She adored how proudly he always held her hand, even in public. As if they really were equals and not servant and master… 

Her best friend, her partner, her other half, her better half, the strongest, most beautiful piece of her soul. 

.

The show he took her to was an outdoor human play put on by a traveling acting troupe. It had everything she loved. Drama, romance, heartbreak, and a heartfelt reunion that had her jumping up and down in applause. 

As the crowd was dispersing he grabbed her hand again and dragged her away to a party that was being held in one of the seaside taverns. 

It was crowded and loud, and Utahime was tempted to shift into her cat form so she could sit on his shoulder. She didn't like how crowded it was, it made her nervous to have so many people bump into her.  But then he surprised her by throwing his arm around her shoulders, and shoving a pint of mead in her hands, and all of her nerves melted away. 

Using a lute, a fiddle, some kind of hand drum, a tambourine, and what looked like a small flute,  the humans brought the tavern to life with exciting music that made the music at the castle balls seem boring in comparison. 

Gojo was only two drinks in, and herself double that when she learned that he absolutely could not hold his alcohol. He was pink in the face and extra giggly when he pulled her out to join the lively dance.

He tripped over himself and laughed at nearly everything, but still somehow managed to look graceful and charming. They spun in circles until she was dizzy and even when they switched partners when the dance called for it, she still found herself drawn back to him. Utahime herself felt like she had drunk more than she had, but all she really cared about was the radiant smile on his beautiful face.

Three dances in and an extra drink each, Utahime found herself hanging off his neck, her arms looped around him, his hands on her waist, her vision filled with nothing but the startling blue of his eyes.  

And even when she was lifted into the air by a kind stranger during one of the dances many turns, her eyes never left the pools of bright, shining blue that sparkled in the warm light.

He was grinning, his smile showing both of his pretty dimples, his cheeks flushed the color of the outside layers of her magic.  

Gojo grabbed her hands and her world blurred into pretty colors, and beautiful lights as even the notes of the music seemed to dance around her in glittering waves of gossamer. 

She giggled as they spun, everything spun, overjoyed by the atmosphere, enamored with his adamant attention. 

She could feel the familiar weight of magic in the air like a warm blanket around her shoulders, snug and sweet. She tasted vanilla and honey, and she knew he had cast some kind of spell, but it only made her feel that much more ecstatic. The energy that clung to her limbs made her shiver, it was soothing and sweet, heavy and comforting, it made her warm, made her heart race. 

The lanterns that hung against the wall looked like soft balls of fire, and even the dust in the air glimmered like tiny golden flecks of stardust that swirled around in the air like the arms of the heavenly belt at night. 

And at the end of their fourth dance, clinging to each other, overheated, breathless and grinning, overwhelmed from drink, energy, lost in the swirling, glowing, impossible blue of his eyes, and that strange, strange emotion that had been plaguing her for the last few years, Utahime spoke without thinking. 

"I-I'm– I'm so in love with you, Satoru," she whispered and clumsily rose to the tips of her toes to press her lips against his.  

She nearly missed, short, and dizzy as she was, but then her lips slipped smoothly over his like they were always meant to be there,  and a rush of pleasant heat lit up her nerves. 

The energy that was rushing through her was electric. She was lost at sea in a violent storm, with him as her lifeline. 

Soft, his lips felt so soft, and she was only just processing how warm and sweet when she realized—

What was she doing?!

Horrified, she abruptly jumped back only to see his beautiful eyes widened in shock, and his lips now tainted a blush pink…  

"Hime—?"

She fled, shoved a random woman towards him as she took off running out into the night, dizzy, nauseous, and absolutely terrified. What had she just done?!

It was terribly taboo to feel such things for one's master. Illicit couldn't even describe how immoral and illegal it was. Her kind was put to death for far less! 

She had no business harboring such dangerous and forbidden feelings for Gojo! 

Unclean, and improper, those were the words that typically described such things. It was a grave offense, a capital sin, shameful. 

Then the fact that she'd acted on it?!

Even if inebriated, she was still aware enough to know right from wrong, she should have known, but the words had bubbled out of her as sudden as a lightning bolt.  

But deep down she knew, she knew the feelings had been festering for far longer.  

The deep adoration that she held for her master had actually been tainted with a deep yearning that she was only now realizing… 

All at once the years of lessons she was given at the castle bombarded her psyche like stones. 

You live to serve, you are to be a loyal servant, nothing more. 

You are a living tool, a— what was that? 

No, anything more will taint your bond, do you want to curse your Master?

This is how the gods have ordained it. Do you want to taint your bond? 

She could curse him, taint him! 

Horrible, horrible, horrible!

What had she done? How could she let this happen?!

What have I done?!

No, it was simply the alcohol and the energy in the room, nothing more. She couldn't entertain even the thought of what she'd done. 

An accident, a moment of weakness,  a mistake, that's all it had been. She'd been too drunk, too overwhelmed by the air, too weak… 

She could only hope that he had been too drunk himself to realize what she did.

Utahime ran straight to her room, her eyes full of tears and her heart in her throat. She fell to her knees at her bed and prayed to the gods for mercy and forgiveness. 

 And by some miracle they had heard her desperate pleas, for when Utahime joined Gojo the next morning for a late breakfast, both hungover and exhausted, he greeted her with his typical, shining smile.

And thankfully, no word of her sin was ever mentioned… 

Utahime thanked him for all that he did for her, kept her head down to avoid the power in his eyes, blamed her headache,  blamed her lack of sleep.

And when he smiled and handed her a tonic to clear her head, and ease the pain, she thanked him once more with a small smile of her own and silently weaved a veil around her mind and her heart. 

Utahime spent the next month carefully unraveling the threads of his magic that were tightly merged with her own. All the while she gradually perfected the veil she had weaved until she was confident nothing could pierce it. 

She buried her sinful feelings deep, smothered them like a flame, and made sure to leave them in the fiery inferno they belonged in.

Chapter Text

"Hey! Pay attention for once!"

Satoru blinked and refocused on the man in front of him. Why did he look so familiar? And more importantly, why was he talking to him like that? 

He grimaced and lifted his hand, palm open, and slowly closed his hand— forcing the man's mouth shut. 

He heard something crash, but he paid it no mind. 

Why am I still here? I hate this place… He stood up from the uncomfortable chair and moved over towards the door, only to be blocked by something. 

He took a step back and jolted when a talisman was slapped on his chest. 

"Agh—" 

It shocked him and he stumbled further back with a gasp before a rush of sound bombarded him at once.  

"You idiot! What the hell was that for?!"

Satoru frowned and attempted to take the talisman off, but it just melted into his shirt. 

"Gojo!"

Jolting again, he blinked rapidly as the familiar man's face swam back into focus. Satoru smirked in amusement. 

"Old man~! Long time no see! Why do you look like you're going to blow a gasket?" He asked with a smirk. 

"Sit down!" Yaga yelled, red in the face. 

Satoru grumbled and sat down, but immediately ripped off the section of his shirt the talisman had merged into and turned it to ash. It left him with an awkward hole exposing his chest, so he just ripped it up a bit more so it looked intentional. 

"Gojo, pay attention!" Yaga snapped and slammed his hand down on his desk. 

Satoru jumped and narrowed his eyes.  "Quiet down, I've got a headache."

Yaga rubbed his temples and shook his head. "I'm not getting anywhere here… Where is Utahime?"

Satoru suddenly felt like he fell into an icy lake as clarity finally rushed through him.  

Right… 

Utahime should be with Shoko right now.  She didn't even let him see her off. 

"Gone," Satoru said with a shrug. 

"What?! What do you mean, gone?"

"Ugh! Shhh! I told you I've got a headache!" Satoru snapped, annoyed, and suddenly not in the mood for conversation at all. 

"What did you do to her?" Yaga accused. 

Satoru scoffed, the audacity.  He didn't do anything to her! He just gave her what she wanted. 

"Nothing," he said through his teeth. "Now why did you summon me?" He demanded as he pulled the letter out of his pocket and threw it at him.  "Who's got their panties in a twist?"

Yaga sighed and rubbed his temples again.  "Gojo, this is serious, it's about your little business, you're selling illegal substances."

Satoru closed his eyes, the light was giving him a migraine. "I am not. Barely legal maybe, but not illegal. I know 'cause my Hime always scoured the books to make sure we couldn't be… cited," the last of it nearly died in his throat. 

Hime …

Damn, it has only been an hour, but why did it feel so much longer?  He was so restless too, he couldn't sit still.  Without thinking he stood up and started to pace around the room.  

"If this is all you wanted to bother me about then tell whoever to kiss my ass for me, okay?" He passed Yaga's desk and stole a quill off of it to fuss with."I'm sure whoever it is will be honored, so there is no need to worry, even if it's the royal fossil himself! The greatest honor in his long life will be puckering up for the Greatest Sorcerer of The Age, Gojo Satoru," he started to rip the little individual barbs of the feather off, counting each one as he did so. "Hell, I'll even smack down his precious army again for old times sake!"

Yaga watched him pace around the room for a few beats, the little barbs on the ground mapping out Satoru's path like breadcrumbs. 

"One of your potions messed with an important noble family, the effects should have been temporary, but there seem to be permanent effects…" Yaga said. 

One hundred… What kind of feather was this again? Satoru tapped it against his forehead.  "Oh! A falcon? Nice…" he mused out loud and resumed ripping it up.  One hundred one—

The quill he had at home was a crow feather. That was his favorite one. He liked it because the dark black pigment of the barbs had a violet tint to them. It was mostly visible when the morning light shined on it when he reviewed the previous night's—

"Gojo! Can you stop already?  You're making a mess!" Yaga cut in, a vein throbbing on his forehead. 

Satoru stopped in front of him and poked it with the point of the bald quill. "That looks like it might pop!"

Yaga threw his hands in the air. "I'm not getting anywhere here… Where the hell is Utahime?"

Satoru scowled and threw the ruined quill behind him. "Why are you bringing her up again?"

"Because you haven't answered my question, where is she?"

"I told you she's gone ," Satoru snapped. "G.O.N.E," he spelled out and jabbed his finger into one of Yaga's many pins with each letter. 

Yaga grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm behind his back.  "You will not disrespect my children like that!"

The sudden pain shook him back to clarity right as his knees buckled. "Ow! Okay! Okay, okay! Sorry!" Satoru yelled and struggled out of his grip. He jumped to his feet and turned to Yaga, a pout on his face.  "That hurt! What is it with people and jumping straight to violence!?"

Yaga crossed his arms and shook his head. "I need you to be serious, okay?"

He rolled his eyes.  "Yeah, okay, what do you want?"

"Did you hear anything I told you?" He asked in annoyance.

Satoru sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  "Something about some rich asshole having buyer's remorse? Sorry, but I have a no refund policy."

"Well it's not just any rich asshole. It's the Zen'in family… someone used one of your 'love' potions on the Lord Zen'in, and he left his wife for his maid—"

Satoru cackled in amusement. "What!? That's hilarious, phew, poor bastard."

"This is no laughing matter! It was discovered to be a direct result of your potion! There is already a bastard child involved—"

" Well if the old man married the maid then the child is legitimate, no?"

"No!"

Satoru sighed dramatically and rubbed his eyes.  "Well what am I supposed to do about it? It's like punishing the bartender because some asshole got drunk and fucked his maid instead of his wife!"

"Love potions are incredibly—"

"Legal, My dearest Teacher. I've done nothing wrong," Satoru insisted. 

"Yes but they are detectable . Whatever concoction you brewed up slipped under the notice of everyone's safety charms!" Yaga yelled. 

Satoru shrugged. "I'm the strongest, is it really surprising that my spells and potions would also be the strongest? And can you please keep it down? I said I have a migraine…"

Yaga sighed heavily and slowly shook his head.  "I called you down here because there are whispers of retaliation. You need to be careful. I don't know what they are planning, but you have to watch your back."

"Yeah, yeah, it'll be fine, they can try all they want, I'll make examples out of whoever tries something first– give 'em a reason to actually be mad."

Yaga dug in his desk and popped some pills.  "Okay, you still haven't explained what happened to—"

"I got rid of her!" Satoru blurted out angrily.  "There, you happy?! I was sick of her damn nagging and bitching so I threw her away!" The tile beneath his feet shattered.  "She was holding me back! She was too weak so I cut her off!" He grit his teeth as bile rose in the back of his throat. 

Why did saying that feel like opening a wound? 

'Cause it's not true… fuck, it's not true.

Satoru glanced down at his hands with a frown. Was it normal to feel so… lost? How did witches go through so many familiars and not feel so wrong?  He didn't feel right, he felt so wrong—

"What?! Why would you do that? Are you serious?" Yaga asked in clear disbelief. 

—he didn't feel normal. 

Satoru suddenly felt too antsy to stay here any longer and he yanked open the door. "Yup! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm getting out of this hell hole~" he said much too cheerily for his current mood. 

"You can't just leave, you have to see the King first," Yaga said and grabbed him by the shoulder – only to be rebuffed by infinity. "What the—"

"Oo, yeah, sorry, I don't think I will," Satoru said as he inspected his nails.  "Just tell whoever is bothering you to visit me personally," he said and summoned a business card between two of his fingers.  He held it out to him, but Yaga didn't take it, so Satoru left it floating in the air. 

"You shouldn't be so willing to invite hostiles to your home," Yaga said, grimacing. 

Hm, sounds like something Hime would have said…  He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, his headache suddenly feeling worse. 

"Ugh! Okay, okay, whatever, I'll go see the old fossil and write a wittle sowwy note to the Zen'in assholes, sounds good?" Satoru asked. 

"You will see His Majesty, you will not provoke the Zen'in, got it?" Yaga snapped. 

"Aye, okaaay," Satoru sighed and retreated down the hall. 

"Is she safe?" Yaga called after him. 

Satoru froze and took a deep breath as he unintentionally searched for Utahime's magical energy. He could sense it coming from the direction of the medical ward, she was safe.  

Safe and so far away… 

It was surreal. For his whole life,  Utahime's magic was synonymous with his own… 

"Yeah…" he said softly and quickly turned the corner before Yaga could ask him anything else. 

Damn he felt so disoriented. He didn't feel sick anymore now that the bond was gone, but a different kind of unpleasantness was settling into his bones. 

He felt like he was missing an arm, like he was incomplete. He never read anything about witches feeling adverse effects should they sever their bond with their familiar, so he really had no idea what was going on. 

His magical energy was chaotic, and keeping it under control was mentally exhausting. 

He never had issues actually controlling his magic before, at least not to the extent he was feeling now. He was jittery, and his energy would randomly spike without warning.  

On top of all that, the light was severely bothering his eyes.  

Feeling aimless he wandered around the halls until he remembered Yaga wanted him to talk to the old coot. Too exhausted to want to deal with the drama that might come up if he ignored the summons, he made his way to the throne room.  

As soon as he got to the large double doors he froze. He felt anxious all of a sudden.  

Just then he heard a whisper in his ear, one that sounded like a melody. One that he recognized better than the sound of his own thoughts. 

You got this, Gojo! Can you imagine the look on their faces?

She'd said that to him while he stood in this very spot about seven years ago, his Utahime… 

Once again he caught himself searching for the familiar warmth of her magic, and he was once again met with a hollowness that made him feel like a stranger in his own skin. 

I didn't expect you'd be haunting me like this, Hime… 

Continuing to ignore the guards at the door, Saroru burst into the throne room.

"Long time no see, bone bag!" He said as he waltzed in the room. "Today is your lucky day! I've graced you with my presence! You are very welcome!" 

A bunch of guards attempted to get in his way, but he just expanded the range of infinity around him to keep them away. 

Bone bag– the king– sighed and gestured for his guards to stand down as if they were doing anything in the first place.  "Welcome home, Satoru—"

" Don't, call me that," he snapped. His magical energy flared so sharply he started to visibly tremble. Suddenly annoyed by the brightness of the room, he held his hands out and drew the curtains to all the windows in the room, casting the space in a fire lit darkness. 

The king's attendant gasped, and his guards attempted and failed once again to approach him. To his credit, the king didn't even flinch.

"What do you want? Stop sending your minions to my shop," Satoru spat. 

"I want you to go on a mission for me," Gakuganji said.  

"No."

"You know, we are very lenient with you, there is much you're allowed to do because—"

" Because I'm free,  bone-bag!" Satoru said as he held his arms out. "There is much I'm allowed to do 'cause I'm fucking free! And you hate it!" He laughed and started to walk closer to him.  "You hate it so much I bet you lose sleep over it! You can't believe I actually won! You can't believe you lost! You can't get over how you let the most powerful weapon your dynasty has ever had slip through your fingers! Nobody owns me anymore, and you haaate it!"

"You will be compensated greatly for the trouble, though we hope helping those in need will be just as satisfying a reward," The old coot continued, seemingly unphased by Satoru's ramblings. 

On the outside.

But Satoru could sense the irritation spiking in his magical energy, and he fed off that. 

"Oh, let me think about it then— No! " He laughed and threw a paper at him with a stick figure drawing of a skeleton with a wimpy crown asking him for help, and a big bold no,  written over it. He even enchanted the paper for shits and giggles.

The skeleton was flailing helplessly while its bones rattled, chanting,  pwease, pwease, help us I'm too pathetic to do anything on my own! 

The stick figure meant to be him had messy hair and was laughing loudly yelling,  no!  Every so often. 

The old coot grunted angrily and Satoru laughed again. 

"Feel free to keep that, ya old coot, consider it an artifact of my historic visit~" he said and pressed his hands together. 

All at once he summoned as much magical energy as he could, and all of the glass in the room suddenly shattered. 

The court attendants gasped and shrieked as Satoru forced all of the magic energy to bend and— he teleported 

.

.

He landed in a heap in something that smelled like straw, but he barely recognized much else.

His vision was swimming, and as soon as he scrambled to his feet, he puked. 

Painful chills shook through his body and he gasped for breath only to cough harder than he remembered coughing in his life, causing him to puke again.

Groaning, Satoru pressed his hand against his chest and sent a healing pulse through his body. 

It eased the crazy pain for only a few seconds before he doubled over and threw up once more. His vision was so blurry he couldn't make anything out, but he could smell blood… lots of it. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, why the hell did I do that?!

He gasped for air again and shuddered as another coughing fit wracked his body. He shook as he shakily drew a magic circle in the muddy dirt with what was probably his blood. Thankfully he knew the sigils by heart and quickly etched them in the ground before putting his palm in the center. 

He mumbled the healing spell outloud as best he could, his breath ragged and wheezing. Thankfully it was enough, and he groaned in pain as the spell finally began to take effect. 

He felt something crack into place, and then he started coughing again and threw up a strange large mass… 

Curious, he grabbed it to inspect it and snorted in amusement when it clicked. "I-I literally coughed up a lung!" Well a piece, but still, "W-Wait until I tell, Hime—" his amusement died. 

Oh. 

He sighed, causing him to cough up a bit more blood, but the healing spell was soothing everything out, and he closed his eyes to focus on it. 

Once he felt normal enough he stood up and examined himself. Luckily, he didn't get blood on himself, but unluckily, the stable boy was standing in the corner of what looked like the horse stables looking both terrified and concerned. 

Satoru tilted his head as he looked at him, the kid was a familiar, probably belonging to the grounds keeper. 

"Hey kid, ever seen a lung before?" Satoru asked and held out the chunk of flesh with a grin. "Crazy, huh? Wanna touch it?"

The kid shook his head frantically. 

"Oh, c'mon! Probably a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"N-No thank you, M-Master Witch… please don't make me…" 

Satoru sighed and tossed the chunk on the ground. It landed with a wet splat, "Fine, fine, kids these days are no fun, lemme tell ya!" He grumbled and started kicking the straw away from the blood soaked ground.  "Get some rocks, will ya?"

The kid nodded and ran off and came back with a bunch of various sized rocks.

"Thanks!" Satoru said and flashed the kid a grin,  hoping to calm him down, but that only seemed to terrify him more… weird. "So jumpy," he murmured and placed the rocks around the blood mess in a circle. "Look, don't tell anybody what you saw today, 'kay? I gotta get rid of this, shits too dangerous to leave unfortunately, witches are pretty crazy,  ya know? You'll be surprised what we can do with just a drop of blood!"

He snapped his fingers over the mess and it burst into blue flames. The kid yelped and jumped back, and Satoru sighed heavily and shushed him. 

"Hey, shh, it's okay, the fire won't spread 'cause of the awesome rocks you brought. You're fine, sorry 'bout the smell though, I don't have any herbs on me," he said and patted at his coat to make sure. "Nope sorry, it'll be fine though, just prop the stable doors."

The kid nodded and ran to do just that. 

"Could you bring me my horse too? It's the pretty one," he said.

The kid ran off once again and Satoru strolled out of the stable to look around.  

He was still in the castle grounds, but the distance was farther than his established block of distance he knew he could safely teleport in the past. 

Though that was with Utahime helping him… 

He's never nearly died before either… admittedly the experience was a bit jarring.  

The part that actually worried him though was the fact that he couldn't really remember deciding to teleport. He just did it. 

He couldn't even remember thinking up a destination, a crucial part of the spell… 

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair,  he still felt a little weary, but now he wasn't sure if it was because he just almost bled to death or because he was missing… 

He shook his head and forced the thought away. 

The kid came back with his horse and also had a metal cup of water. "H-Here you go, Master Witch, I thought you might want some water…"

"Oh, yeah, thanks!" He said and took the cup from him.  He tasted blood on the first sip, so he swished the water around and spat it out,  sure enough, the water came out red. Hmm, no wonder the kid freaked when he smiled at him, he probably had blood all over his teeth. 

He drank the rest of it and wiped his face and handed the container back to the kid. "Thanks again, you're a really brave kid, ya know? You should be proud of yourself."

The kid's eyes turned into saucers. "R-Really?"

"Yup! I know I probably freaked you out, but you were cool the whole time, how old are you?"

"Two!" He said, suddenly looking proud of himself. 

Satoru smiled wryly. "You look more like ten…" 

"Huh?"

He shook his head and gave him a gentle pat on the head. "Nothing… just, don't forget that, 'kay?" He ruffled the kid's hair and pulled himself up on his horse. "Remember," he said and held his finger to his lips in shush motion, but didn't actually put any magic behind it. 

The kid nodded. "Okay!  Goodbye, Master Witch, I hope you feel better."

Satoru waved and urged the horse towards the gate to leave the damn place behind. 

As he approached the gate, a few sorcerers attempted to stop him, but he just pushed the horse to sprint, and sped past them. 

He wanted to get home already. He was tired. 

.

.

By the time Satoru saw the town in the distance a week later, he felt a little crazy. He'd been having full on conversations with the damn horse, and at this point, he swore it understood him.  

He had never gone a whole week without talking to someone, and he absolutely hated it.  

"I can't believe I gotta say goodbye now, we're like best friends at this point," he sighed as he patted the horse's neck. 

It snorted softly, obviously agreeing with him. 

"Yeah, crazy, right?" He mumbled and got off so he could lead the horse back to the stable Utahime rented it from. "If I had the space, I'd let you stay at my place."

The horses nickered and nudged him forward with its head. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you're a working horse, huh? Well if they ever treat you wrong you should just trample them, got it? Then let me know, I'll cover for ya," He gave its neck a firm pat and handed the reigns over to one of the employees running the stable.  

"Just so you know, I told it to give me a report if you abuse 'em, that'll be a bad day for you, got it?" Satoru asked as he accepted the deposit back for returning the horse in good condition.

"W-What?" The employee asked, bewildered. 

He waved at him and left, making a beeline to his shop. 

As soon as he unlocked it he held the door open, and two beats later it clicked.

Oh.

Right. 

That wasn't necessary anymore… 

"Ughh, " he sighed heavily and walked in, not bothering to light up the room. 

"Home sweet home..." He mumbled.

The next few days passed as such;

When he woke up in the morning he would catch himself going towards Utahime's room to wake her up, except there was no reason for him to go that way anymore… 

Any time he made food he always grabbed two bowls or two cups, and often was in the middle of serving it when he realized that it wasn't needed. 

He typically would lose his appetite after that. 

Running the shop was similarly disorienting. 

He caught himself multiple times with her name lodged in his throat, ready to ask her something, whether it be for help or just a random question. 

The few times her name did slip out he found himself forgetting what he was even doing, even if he was mid sentence, the second her name slipped out he blanked. 

Which left a few awkward moments where the customer had to remind him what they were asking him. 

His magical energy was still all out of sorts too. It would flare randomly and shatter nearby glass— a real pain when he was trying to sell potions. 

Sometimes the surge would convert into something more dangerous, like a sudden burst of heat, causing a spark, a flame, a shock of electricity strong enough to burn. 

Maintaining control over it grew harder by the day. 

And even after a week, he was still making too much food, even though he wasn't necessarily grabbing extra dishes each time. 

While he was sorting through some potions on his shelf he found a whisker, and he dropped the vials in his hand. 

He didn't hear the crash, nor did he notice the combined potions burnt a hole in the floorboards. 

The thin black whisker had miniscule traces of her magic on it still, it wouldn't have been noticed by any other witch, but of course, his eyes let him see it… 

It was only when he suddenly felt exhausted did he realize he had been standing there for hours. It was late, dark… 

He grabbed the tiny thing and stuck it in an empty vial, a vial that he ended up staring at even after he made it to bed. 

He felt less and less like himself as the days passed, he had gaps in his memory, and kept finding himself in random situations. 

Staring at the dirty dishes for hours, staring at a potion he was making until it boiled over and ruined, standing in their garden until sundown, staring at the ceiling until daybreak. Accidentally breaking something just by touching it.

He was running out of stock for the shop too, and he just let it happen. 

He caught himself staring at his pantry during the third week, and the smell that hit him was foul enough to shake his mind back to clarity. 

"What the hell?"

Everything was rotten, it looked terrible. There were even maggots crawling all over the place. 

"Whoa…" he mumbled, bewildered. Didn't he just restock that? Why did it look weeks old? 

He scrunched up his nose and slowly closed the door. "Hey,  Hime, isn't it your job to—"

That cold hollowness that was perpetually in the back of his mind suddenly felt one hundred times more prominent… 

"That's so pathetic, Gojo…" he mumbled, distractedly at the same time her voice echoed in his head. "You've even neglected my favorite plants, haven't you?"

"Oops, I've been a little busy…" 

"Yeah doing fuck all… your shelves are empty, the shops been closed for days… so fucking lazy…" 

"Sorry."

"Sorry won't clean up the mess, moron."

He held his hand over the door, intending to just zap everything away, but when he gathered his magic, it just burst out in random directions. 

"And you can't even do a simple spell, some witch you are!"

"I'm a sorcerer, the best there fucking is…" he scowled and tried once again, he heard a boom behind the door, then smoke started to roll out from underneath it. 

"Wow nice job, idiot, just get the broom."

He scowled and held his hand out, thinking to summon the broom, and it did show up, it just hit him hard on the side of his head. 

"Ow, fuck," he snatched the damn thing off the floor and wretched the door open only to be smacked in the face with black smoke, and charred mush and ash.

At least the rotten smell was somewhat consumed by the burning smell… 

It took him about four hours to manually clean everything out, and by the time he was done he felt both faint and nauseous.

Thinking he needed fresh air, he tossed the broom aside and stumbled out of the shop— only to run right into a knight. 

As soon as Satoru saw the kingdom coat of arms on the man's chest he snapped. 

"What the fuck are you doing here!?" He yelled and shoved the man back. "Didn't I tell you bastards to leave me alone?! Why yes, I fucking did!  Tell your damn king to take this letter—" He snatched it out of the knight's hands and crumbled it.  "— and shove it all the way up his ass until he chokes on it!" He yelled and shoved it back at him. "The next idiot I see wearing that fucking symbol is getting skinned!"

"U-Uh… Master Gojo, you've been summoned t-to—"

"Oh, damn, silly me, your hearing is shot isn't it?" He chuckled and grabbed his head. "I'll help you with that! You might feel a slight pop, so don't even move a—"

The knight shoved him back and drew his sword. "You will not touch me again, by His Majesty's—"

Satoru stopped listening.  

He just stood there and stared at him yap about nonsense while he tried to focus on getting his magic under control. It had spiked violently when he saw the knight initially, and when the guy shoved him away, it gave him just enough clarity to reign himself in. Try to. 

But he couldn't focus on his surroundings when his magic was swelling and twisting the way it was. 

He was feeling restless again... the hair on his arms were standing on end. 

He needed…

He needed an outlet… yeah, that's what he needed. Why was he trying so hard to suppress it when he could just… let it out?  

Why was he trying to go through life like normal when so much has changed? 

Why was he trying to be normal when it was clear he wasn't? He never was. He couldn't be.  

He couldn't even control his own magic… 

It actually worked out perfectly.  He knew exactly what kind of mission they wanted him to go on anyway… 

The Crown always asked him to kill beasts and demons that were terrorizing the land.  Many more times, they asked him to assist their war efforts, and many times, people got stuck in the cross hairs. All things he used to constantly be forced to do when he was a kid from as young as thirteen years old. 

It is time to put you to use,  Satoru. 

Kill and destroy… 

Those missions always made Utahime weep, and it was the driving factor that made him start to fight against going on those kinds of missions. Even when he put down demons, she would worry,  but this time, not for the evil creature, but himself. 

His safety was always something that kept her up at night during those missions, even though he tried his hardest to comfort her, to convince her that nothing could touch him. 

It's not just your physical well being that I worry about, Gojo… 

"Alright, calm down," Satoru said,  still not really looking at the knight who was threatening him with his sword. "What do they want me to kill this time?" He asked, feeling out of it still.  "I know that's what they want." He pointed to the crumbled letter. "Read it to me."

The Knight shook as he uncrumpled the letter then cleared his throat to read aloud. 

.

A hoard of demons that had been left to fester for too long, and was deemed too powerful to risk the men to try and kill them…  

.

Of course… 

.

They always sent him to clean up what was too risky to risk a life over… 

At least this time, he was getting paid.

.

.

Sorry, Hime… 

.

.

Chapter Text

Even after a month of being Shoko's familiar, Utahime still felt like something was missing.

It was as if a space within herself was carved out. She didn't realize how much growing up binded to Gojo had affected her until their bond was severed and he was no longer in her life. 

Shoko's magical energy was very small, and though it was soothing, the space that it took up within Utahime's being felt minimal. It did not fill the large hole left behind by Gojo's presence.

Shoko's energy was also very tame, it was warm and calming, almost sleepy in a way.

Utahime's own magic was also warm and calming, as far as textbooks go, she was perfectly compatible with Shoko, but that clashed so much with what Utahime was used to.

 Utahime was so used to Gojo's boundless energy filling even the air that she breathed, that she felt so disoriented now that he was no longer beside her. 

She was used to tasting his magic in the air if he got too excited over something, she was used to feeling it rush over her skin like static.

She was used to using her own magic to rein Gojo in, to calm him down whenever he got too excited about something whether positive or negative. 

Ever since he was a child, his magic would flare out randomly and cause dangerous things to happen, glass breaking, things catching on fire. His power was growing too quickly for him to control, and his tutors always gave him a hard time, always upset him and yelled at him and punished him during lessons. 

They forced him to practice various tasks for hours, hoping he'd be able to get his growing magic under control. 

Nothing seemed to work, in fact, the more they stressed him out, the worse it got.

He'd return to his room at night, sore and overworked and hide his cries under his pillow. Utahime always snuggled up close to his side and tried her hardest to soothe him during those nights.

It's okay, Gojo, you'll get it, don't worry, I believe in you… 

And he did improve, Utahime could feel it, but his improvements weren't visible to his tutors, they weren't fast enough, and they continued to push him and scold him until whispers started to float around about a possible execution. An execution for a child!  

But they didn't see the young, growing boy of not even ten. All they saw was the weapon of the crown. 

 If he was too dangerous, then he wouldn't be worth having around… 

Utahime had been sneaking around looking for candy for Gojo when she overheard the maids whispering as such. 

Terrified for his safety Utahime did the only thing she knew how to do, whenever she sensed Gojo's magic grow restless, she'd quickly try to reach out with her own to try and soothe him. 

She knew her magic was tiny and useless in comparison, but she tried nonetheless. She did it however she could, jumped on his shoulder and snuggled close, let him pet her, and even spent the day hanging around his neck as a scarf so she wouldn't be in the way. 

She was taught in her lessons to imagine her magic like a back up of Gojo's, like a glass bottle placed in a large well. She was to keep it contained unless Gojo needed her. 

The problem was, he didn't, not really, not in the way she was taught. 

Gojo's magic was like a vast lake instead of a well, but her's really was like a tiny vial in comparison, a vial that would be lost and forgotten in the depths if she simply waited around to be needed… 

But Utahime really wanted to be of use, she wanted to help him, and after a few days she made a discovery.  She found that if she pushed a little harder, she could break that figurative barrier between their respective pools of magic.

Once she broke that barrier, she could actually touch his magic. 

When it happened he was curled up in bed covered in bruises and trying to hide his tears from her, even though she could feel them, and his pain… 

Wanting to comfort him, she changed into her human form and hugged him, even though she knew it wasn't allowed, she knew Gojo wouldn't tell on her. 

And even more surprising, he hugged her back. Not knowing anything but what made her feel happy, Utahime hesitantly reached up and petted his hair like he did to her back when she was in her cat form. 

You'll be able to get it, I know you will,  Utahime had whispered as she held him close, her own eyes filled with tears from his pain. 

And it was while she was trying so hard to comfort him, and ease his hurt, that she broke the figurative glass that separated their energies. 

Nothing really changed, when it initially happened  she couldn't breathe for a a few seconds. She wasn't scared though, because at the same time she was acutely aware of Gojo's presence, his magic.  It was all around her like air. She felt both warmer and colder all at once for just a few seconds until it evened out like a glass of water slowly settling after being shaken. 

They both got goosebumps, and when she next urged him to calm, he did. 

Like a candle getting blown out. 

By entwining her own magic with his as deeply as she could, she was able to calm the chaotic flow of his energy into something much more manageable and pliant, allowing him to actually use it to achieve remarkable feats.  

Her natural state quickly became to subtly soothe and calm, and she did that for Gojo for almost twenty years without even realizing she was anymore. 

The intensity of it was actually quite strong too, so much so that the first week she was bonded to Shoko they put each other to sleep constantly. Such effects never happened to Gojo because his magical energy was so huge in comparison that he never seemed to get sleepy unless Utahime was casting a spell to specifically put him to sleep, which she has had to do a few times in the past… 

Even after a month, Utahime still had a hard time adjusting, but on the bright side, all the excess sleep had gotten rid of the dark circles that had been beneath Shoko's eyes.

And when Utahime was asleep, she didn't feel that huge hole anymore. 

. 

.

"Mh, I used to have such a hard time sleeping, is this normal?" Shoko asked, yawning as she sat up from her unexpected nap at her desk. 

Utahime startled awake, as she'd fallen asleep by the window in the sunbeam. "Taking naps?" She asked groggily. 

"Yeah… but mostly how tired I am all the time, I thought it would have worn out by now. Is it because you are a cat or something?" Shoko asked.  

Utahime yawned and stretched. "I don't think so…" she thought of Gojo again and the pit in her stomach felt heavier. 

She didn't want Shoko to catch on to the internal conflict she was feeling, and she did everything she could to block her former master's face from her mind. But Gojo was as consuming as the sun in the sky, he drowned out all of the other stars with his magnificence.  

As blasphemous as it was, Utahime believed her former master even outshone the star goddess herself… at least in her life he did— used to.

"This is very new to me…" Utahime admitted.

Shoko nodded slowly and rubbed her eyes before standing up to stretch. "Well, let's go for a walk, stretch our limbs a little." 

Utahime jumped off the windowsill and followed Shoko out of the medical ward. 

Utahime was really grateful to have her.  Shoko worked on a strict schedule— when she wasn't suddenly napping— and she brought Utahime with her everywhere. Breakfast at eight, lunch at one afternoon,  tea at three, and supper at seven after she was considered off duty. Her day was filled with caring for various patients whose injuries were often recieved from training or missions. 

Utahime wasn't sure what she would do with herself if Shoko didn't make her adhere to her steady schedule. 

It gave her purpose too, because Shoko asked her to help her keep to it, because she was apparently bad at keeping track, and would get distracted easily. 

Utahime threw herself into that task wholeheartedly.  She pretty much became Shoko's assistant, reminding her of appointments she had with the king, or other such things. 

Shoko checked on the king once a week, spent half a day healing him and making sure he was perfectly healthy.  She typically did this on Fridays, though this was the only time she had Utahime wait behind in her office. 

She understood why though, not many were allowed an audience with His Majesty. 

.

Utahime followed close behind Shoko in her cat form as they strolled through the halls. She hadn't shifted to any other form since being bonded to Shoko, mainly because she just felt better in her cat form. It was easier for her to hide. 

There was also an unspoken rule that familiars were not to roam around as they pleased. It was seen as unsightly, the castle had an expected decorum to uphold after all. 

When she used to live in the castle with Gojo, she only showed her human form to him in their room, or on rare occasions when her tutors wanted to examine her.  

Otherwise she was always on his shoulder,  or draped around his neck. It was where she felt safest. 

Now she kept to Shoko's heels as close as possible. Deep down, she wanted to be carried, but she simultaneously didn't want or expect Shoko, her friend, and now her Master to carry her around… 

That was another thing that made her feel out of sorts.

She didn't realize how often Gojo casually picked her up, or how much she boldly jumped on his shoulder until she lost that.

It was a little embarrassing, how much she missed that; she tried not to lament over it, but she couldn't help it. 

Gojo's magic might be cold, but his body was so warm, and it just balanced so perfectly with her, who always ran cold, even if he claimed her magic was warm… 

It was embarrassing how much she missed him… 

She didn't want to admit it, but she missed him so much it brought her to tears.  She tried her damndest to keep it in too. She didn't want to affect Shoko, but even so, under the cover of night where most sins were hidden, and her Master was asleep, Utahime let loose a few tears to try and manage the dam of sorrow deep in her heart.  

"So, how are you adjusting?" Shoko asked as they made it out to the castle grounds. "It's been a little over a month, right?  You've been pretty quiet, I remember you always had a lot to say when we were kids."

Utahime frowned and kept her gaze on the cobblestones. "I'm okay… it just feels strange…erm,  being back here that is," I feel strange, she thought with a sigh.  She didn't feel right.  Still . "And, usually I was arguing with Gojo…" she mumbled. 

Shoko humed softly. "Yeah, I suppose that is true. However, even though you always squabbled, it wasn't ever anything more than that, you were attached at the hip. It was clear to anyone with a brain that you guys were the best of friends…" She stopped walking and looked down at her with her hands on her hips. "What even happened?"

Utahime's heart sank. Truthfully, she expected Shoko to ask her this, she was just surprised it took her a month to do so… 

"I… I guess we just drifted apart, I dunno," Utahime mumbled lamely and curled up into a ball on the ground. Her sorrow was bubbling up to the surface again, and she quickly smothered it as fast as she could. 

Shoko sighed, "Uta, look at me."

Utahime slowly looked up at her, and her ears wilted down against her head. She was afraid Shoko could tell how sad she was, she was worried she'd get in trouble… she was worried she'd compel her to speak… 

It wasn't that she didn't trust Shoko, she did, she was a good friend when they were kids, but she didn't know if she changed at all since Utahime left the castle with Gojo. She didn't know how her old friend would be as a Master… 

She didn't know if Shoko would condemn her if she found out her darkest secret… 

She still loved her former Master, and as much as she tried to hide and ignore it, that sin had caused her to lose him… 

Shoko's small laugh brought her out of her sad reviere. "Gosh, why do you look so distraught, you know I wouldn't hurt you, Gojo would probably kill me."

Her ears perked back up.  "What? Why would you think that?"

"Oh come on, you and I both know that guy's a little unhinged, in fact, you should know more than anyone!" Shoko said, nonchalantly. 

Utahime could only frown in confusion. "B-But… I gave him such a hard time up until the end… I'm sure he was happy to get rid of me…" even as she said it, her heart ached.

That was something she thought about at night a lot too. How poorly she'd treated him. 

That was probably the biggest cause for her tears.

The last few months with Gojo replayed in her head like a theater play over and over at night.  Each time she thought about it she only felt worse.

She'd been mean, unnecessarily so, and he shrugged it off until one day he didn't, or couldn't, or just didn't want to anymore. Utahime hadn't fully realized how awful she had been towards him until the very end… 

She was too focused on hiding… 

Because those last few months had been the hardest to hide. Gojo had always been a touchy person, towards her at least. He picked her up all the time, pet her and even started making her shift to her human form at the most randomest times. 

It made her constantly nervous around him because she was always worried about looking presentable, especially after he surprised her by making her shift and she'd been embarrassingly only wearing a night gown… 

It was late in the afternoon, so she should have been properly dressed, but it had been a lazy day! And of course he humiliated her by making fun and saying she looked, cute.

She'd thrown a fit hoping it would deter him, but as much as she hissed and spat, he just stood there and grinned. He laughed and shrugged her off, completely unaffected — until one day he wasn't... 

Shoko sighed and crouched down beside her. "Just… trust me, if something bad happened to you, he'd be the first one here, probably raising hell too."

Utahime looked down to avoid her kind face, she didn't really agree with that, but she figured Gojo might have lied about why he wanted to get rid of her so Shoko wouldn't be worried… 

"I-I'm a bad familiar, Shoko… you should have just let me go…" Utahime admitted sadly.

"No you're not, stop that, I haven't cried since a horse nearly killed me, and I won't have you breaking my streak now."

Utahime flinched and curled up into a tighter ball, wanting to disappear. "I-I'm sorry…"

"Oh, Sheesh… no I didn't mean it seriously, c'mom, Uta, we're still friends, right? This doesn't change anything between us, I know technically I'm your Master  now, but you're still Utahime, you're still my friend, we braided each other's hair, did each other's makeup, remember?"

She sniffled and nodded slowly. 

"You're still Uta to me, okay? So don't worry, you can be yourself around me," Shoko said. 

Utahime nodded and relaxed slightly. The only problem though, was she didn't really feel like herself anymore.  

There was a part of her– much larger than she wanted to admit– that was still waiting for Gojo to burst into the medical ward and declare, girl time is over! And then he'd scoop her up in his arms, and Utahime and Shoko would groan, but Utahime would still happily melt into him… 

It was what he used to often do when they were young teens. Shoko was the only student around their age when they were growing up, and Gojo often let Utahime hang out with her all day on her own if she wanted.

"You miss him," Shoko said suddenly.

Utahime looked up so quickly she almost hurt her neck. "W-Wha—?"

Shoko laughed and shook her head. "It's okay, you can tell me. What did I just finish reminding you of? We're friends, Uta. I'm not going to punish you or anything ridiculous. You can speak your mind. I still don't understand all that,  I was raised by human parents, remember? And I only half paid attention to my lessons, you've always been a person to me."

This time, Utahime couldn't hold back her tears.  Hearing Shoko say that to her meant more than she knew how to explain. 

"I-I do miss him," Utahime cautiously admitted. "'Cause… y-you know… he was always so lively… and it's so quiet without him around…" 

Shoko nodded slowly.  "True, it was so quiet once you two left the castle, I really missed you guys. Wish you would have sent me a letter!" She flicked her side. "Ditching me like that! I couldn't even write to you, 'cause I had no idea where you two ran off to! You guys just ran out of here with only the clothes on your backs like two little gremlins!"

Utahime blushed at the comparison because it was actually an accurate one.  

Gojo had been quite battle high when he defeated the last opponent, and Utahime had changed to her human form in front of all of them without thinking and jumped into his arms to hug him. 

She didn't remember too many details from that moment, but she did remember the horrified gasps of the onlookers as they openly celebrated— as she shamelessly clung to her Master the way she had… 

She also remembered how Gojo cursed them all out and dragged her out of there, running with energy that she was shocked he even had. 

In truth they only had a small bag shared between the two of them, but Utahime had packed it and hid it outside ahead of time because she knew they'd win. 

Once they retrieved their bag, they collapsed in an exhausted heap on the back of a carriage going anywhere, and both passed out.

They'd woken up to the sound of the ocean and terrible sunburn, and Utahime could still remember when Gojo looked at her, all smiley, the outline of his incredibly long eyelashes burned on his cheeks as he said, 

Hey,  Uta… do you wanna live by the sea?

And Utahime hadn't even thought about it, not really, but when she saw the look on his sunburnt, too pink, lovely face, the soft smile that gave her butterflies, she remembered feeling nothing but giddy joy.

Yes! I like that idea! 

"I'm sorry we didn't write to you, Shoko," Utahime sighed, honestly bummed by it. "I would have really liked to…"

Shoko shook her head. "It's alright. Can't change what's already happened… we can only learn from it… on that note, do you want to send Gojo a letter?"

Utahime gasped and jumped to her feet. "Wha–? Really? I can do that?"

Shoko rolled her eyes.  "Of course! The only thing is I'll have to put my seal on it, so it'll say it's from me, but if he reads it, he'll know it's from you." 

"Oh, that's fine, I-Is that really okay?" Utahime asked, both hopeful and nervous.

"Of course it is! Sheesh, let's go back to my office," Shoko said and turned around only to stop in her tracks. "Oh! Good evening, Sir Zen'in, can I help you?"

The blonde man standing before them grinned a too perfect grin and walked closer to them.  Utahime tensed and instinctively put herself between the man and Shoko. She didn't like his energy… 

It was a familiar's duty to put their Master's safety above their own. Should any danger be encountered, it was expected that a familiar take the brunt of the damage, it was expected that they lay down their lives to protect their Master. 

Should the Master die, both witch and familiar would perish, but if a familiar dies, the witch could always find a new familiar… 

Why lose both lives when one can be saved anyway? 

Utahime noticed right away that this man wore the uniform that all of the King's on duty Sorcerers wore. A dark navy blue trench coat, with a golden lining, a crisp matching navy double breasted jacket beneath buttoned close at the neck. 

The golden buttons matched the coats lining, but what really stood out among all the ornaments was the pure white riding boots and gloves. Indications that the King's Sorcerers were so skilled, their boots and gloves didn't need to be a dark color. They never got dirty after all thanks to their magic… 

She did not, however,  recognize him, so he must have joined the army after Gojo and her left… 

"Hm, Good evening, Shoko, are you well?" Zen'in said. 

Shoko shrugged nonchalantly. "Eh, I guess so– did you need something?"

He laughed and stepped closer. "What, I can't simply want to chat?"

Shoko smiled, but Utahime could sense her irritation.  "Oh I'm sure you have much better things to do than chat with me."

"Well, I did just come back from an exhilarating mission, so I've earned myself some down time," he gestured to Utahime with his foot. "I wasn't aware you were permitted to take in strays."

Utahime scoffed in offense, and Zen'in immediately shot her a glare. 

"Oh? It doesn't know manners does it?" He reared his foot back and Shoko stepped in front of her.

"She is with me, Sir Zen'in, I'm sure you are aware of the protocol regarding such things," Shoko said, tensed. 

"Hm, then I expect a proper apology, Shoko," Zen'in said and squared his shoulders. "I'm not sure if you are aware, but little things like that give me the right to demand that you cut off its tongue," he sighed and shook his head. "I will of course overlook this transgression in honor of our friendship," he grinned and stepped away. "I assume this won't happen again?"

Shoko bowed her head. "Of course it won't, I apologize for her behavior."

He nodded and looked down at Utahime with a look of disgust. "Is it registered?"

Shoko crossed her arms.  "It's… in progress."

Utahime could tell she was lying, and that unnerved her.  What was this Zen'in talking about? Registered? And why was Shoko lying about it?

His eyes narrowed. "Hm… Well, I'll take my leave now," he said and walked away.  "Good day, Shoko," he called over his shoulder. 

Utahime's heart was racing, she didn't even think about what she was doing. The reality of the situation was just now dawning on her, and she was starting to feel a little scared. 

Shoko sighed and nodded down the hall. "Let's go," she whispered, and quickly returned to her office with Utahime on her heels. 

When Shoko shut the door behind her she sat down in her chair with a sigh. Utahime jumped up on her desk and lowered her head, feeling uneasy still.

"That was Zen'in Naoya, he's a real piece of work…" Shoko rubbed her eyes and smiled wryly at Utahime. "I know you didn't mean it, but you really can't do whatever you want around the castle anymore."

"I-I'm sorry," Utahime whispered, embarrassed. 

"No, don't worry about it," she took a deep breath and rubbed her temples.  "Gojo was a special case… he got away with almost anything because of how strong he was… the other sorcerers avoided him, and The Crown punished him for his antics by sending him on long missions. 

"I doubt he even knew those were meant to be punishments… in any case… even though Gojo was a servant of The Crown, he was still the most powerful sorcerer in the place— even before he left, and when you two did leave, there was a power vacuum…"

"But why? Doesn't each sorcerer have their own ranking…" Utahime asked, confused. 

"Well, when you and Gojo embarrassed the King, that news didn't stay in the courts… it spread across the kingdom into neighboring countries that one man was able to best his Highness's elite royal army of nearly a thousand all by himself.

" And to be as young as he was? Things were terribly tense here… actually,  pretty much chaotic…" Shoko said.

Utahime looked down, feeling at fault. It was her idea after all… but she just really wanted Gojo to be free, and she knew it was the only way to get his soul released from the contract that binded him to The Crown. 

"His Highness was desperate to maintain his status as the most powerful Kingdom of the land, but that truly rocked the foundation of just about everything… 

"And that's when the Zen'in family stepped in… Naoya arrived at Court two years after you and Gojo left, and he quickly rose through the ranks. He is currently the kingdom's strongest sorcerer, and he even formed a new division within the army called The Hei. These Sorcerers are very powerful, and answer directly to Naoya— then to His Majesty… though that is an unspoken factor."

"Oh… that sounds dangerous…" Utahime said, frowning deeply. 

Shoko sighed and shrugged. "Honestly, we have nothing to worry about, but that is as long as you keep your head down. I'm sorry I didn't mention this earlier, I honestly didn't think of it because The Hei typically aren't my patients, they very rarely get hurt, so I don't usually see head or tail of them."

"Do you know how many members there are?" Utahime asked warily. 

"At least one hundred… but that isn't counting their familiars either. Most of them have at least two. They have two separate mini groups within as well, so of those hundred, only about twenty five are considered the cream of the crop, " Shoko shook her head slowly.  " And they're all annoying pricks."

Utahime's  stomach filled with dread. She never considered what kind of fallout would happen from her and Gojo leaving. 

Distantly, she wondered if Gojo would be able to take this new group down too… 

"I'm sorry for the trouble," Utahime said again, even though Shoko said it wasn't necessary. 

"Like I said, don't worry about it, but you have to remember, if you see another witch, you must address them properly, or it could get ugly," Shoko said with a sigh. "And the last thing I need is for a hundred assholes to come barreling in here because their egos got bruised." 

Utahime held in her next apology because Shoko said it wasn't necessary, but she still felt incredibly guilty. 

She hoped it was just a chance encounter, and she wouldn't run into any members of Naoya's group again, because the last thing she wanted to do was call any of them Master…

She never even called Gojo that! Not unless it was to mock him, and that realization made her absolutely wither in shame. 

Even Shoko insisted that she just be casual with her… 

The realization of how incredibly fortunate she was, all things considered, hit her hard enough to give her whiplash.  

Her eyes stung again, and she struggled to shove the feeling away.

"What did he mean by, registered?" Utahime asked warily.

Shoko sat up straighter and cursed. "Oh shoot, yeah… that was another change that was put in place when you left.  All familiars part of the army need to be registered, so this means their names and contacts need to be put on file, and they have to wear a special tag."

"Oh… why?"

Shoko shrugged. "Some of His Majesty's advisors seem to think Gojo was able to win against everyone because of your influence, witches don't normally get their own familiars until they are at the very least sixteen, 

"The family typically picks out a familiar for their kids as well. Everything about your situation was out of the norm."

Utahime shook her head. "There's no way I could have actually helped him.  Anyone could have done the same, maybe even done a better job."

Shoko shrugged again. "We'll probably never really know… but it was a rare phenomenon all the same, simply by existing Gojo broke the norm, so who knows."

Utahime sighed heavily and closed her eyes. All this talk about her former Master was making her feel sad again. 

"Shoko? Can I still write that letter?" Utahime asked, her voice shaky with emotion. 

Shoko nodded and set a piece of parchment out on her desk alongside a quill and some ink. 

Utahime stood to change into her human form but right before she did, her mind blanked. What was she even supposed to say? 

A plethora of things rushed through her head. 

Hi Gojo, it's Utahime… I hope you're doing well—

Don't forget to water the plants on sundays… 

I left the duster by the bookshelf… 

Don't forget to check on the dry goods… 

I keep the fresh dish towels near where I hang my apron…. 

Don't forget to breathe when you're frustrated… 

If I wouldn't do it, don't do it. 

I miss you… 

I'm sorry… 

Utahime remained in her cat form, unable to decide, her ears wilting sadly against her head. "Um… I don't really know what to say," she whispered. 

"Hm, what if I write something, and we both sign the bottom?" Shoko suggested. 

Utahime nodded, and Shoko turned the parchment towards her. When she was done she pushed it back to her. 

"How's that?"

Utahime read over the letter and gingerly dipped her paw into the ink so she could press her pawprint under Shoko's name. 

"It's good…" Utahime murmured. 

Hey Gojo!

It's Shoko. You should have sent me a letter. I'm sending you one now though since I know your address thanks to Utahime. We're doing well.

It'll be nice to hear from you. 

 

–Shoko

&  

🐾 

Chapter Text

Another month went by since Utahime and Shoko sent their simple letter to Gojo via carrier pigeon, but a response was yet to be received. 

Utahime tried not to think about it, but she found herself counting the days. On the thirty second day, she gave up waiting. 

 He probably didn't want anything to do with her anymore anyway. She felt foolish for even bothering him. He was probably busy running the shop by himself anyway, so even if he did receive the letter, he probably didn't have the time to answer even if he did want to… 

And why would he want to? 

The infirmary doors creaked open, and Utahime  sat up from her spot by the window. Today was Friday, and Shoko was with the king right now. Everyone knew she wasn't available at this time, so why was someone bothering to come in here? 

For the briefest moment, hope shot through her blood and into her lungs, but a second later she saw a blond head of hair, and she choked on that hope… 

"Ah, it seems I missed her, how unfortunate," Naoya said, not really sounding disappointed at all. 

He strolled into the infirmary and made his way straight to her. 

Unease immediately shot through her bones, and Utahime curled down into a ball, her ears flat. 

"You, what is your name?" He demanded as he stopped in front of her. 

"Utahime, Sir…" she whispered nervously. 

His eyes narrowed. "I didn't hear you. Repeat."

Fear shot up her spine. "I-It's Utahime, Master Zen'in…" Utahime corrected,  a bit frightened. 

He nodded. "I thought that's what I heard," he reached forward to grab her and Utahime flinched back. He smirked. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

"Y-You shouldn't touch me…" Utahime whispered as she tried to flatten herself against the window. "M-Miss Ieiri is my Master…" she added weakly. 

"Excuse me? I can do whatever I want, you little wretch," he sneered, and raised his hand.  

Utahime closed her eyes tightly, waiting for a blow that never came. 

"What the hell?" Naoya snapped.

Utahime peeked an eye open and gasped quietly as Naoya tried to grab her again, this time, she stared in shock as his hand ran into something invisible a hair's width away from her face. A faint shimmery pulse of light spread out like a web from the contact point before it slowly faded away.  A familiar feeling washed over her, but she was too shocked to figure out why. 

 "You know a barrier spell? How fascinating…" He took a small step back but continued to stare her down. "Where did you learn that?" He demanded. 

"I-I don't know…" Utahime whispered truthfully, a bit terrified over the situation. 

He scoffed and tried yet again to grab her, but was once again rebuked by the same strange, shimmering barrier. 

"Lying is an offense you know," Naoya said and held up a hand sign she was familiar with. "Dissideo," he muttered and once again tried to grab her, but he still could not. 

The strange barrier shimmered to life once again before slowly fading away, and as it did, Utahime shivered as that familiar energy once again flitted through the air and across her fur. It only lasted for a second, but it was enough to make her heart race… 

Forgetting who was standing in front of her, Utahime jumped to her feet and quickly looked around,  her ears perked up as she scanned the infirmary.

That energy… 

But as soon as she sensed it, it was gone, and she was brutally reminded that she was not alone when she heard Naoya's furious voice. 

"Proper familiars do not blatantly ignore a witch the way you are, I could have you burned at the stake for this," he growled angrily. 

Utahime flinched and curled back up in a ball, "I-I'm sorry…" the next part she had to force out, it tasted like bile on her tongue. "M-Master Zen'in…" 

"Hmph, you know a barrier spell that even I cannot dispel, and you behave as if you have nothing to fear… who are you?" He demanded firmly. 

Utahime didn't know what to do.   She had no idea where the strange barrier came from, or how it was even appearing. 

"Just Utahime…" She whispered nervously.  

He scoffed and crossed his arms. "Where did Shoko find you?"

She didn't know what to do! Should she tell him? Would he leave her alone if she did? Shoko never told her to keep it a secret, and Gojo told her to just tell anyone that asked that he got tired of her… 

Should she tell Naoya that? Would he leave her alone if she did? Why did she feel like she shouldn't tell him anything? 

"Don't make me ask again," Naoya snapped.

"M-My Master grew tired of me…" Utahime mumbled, "he gave me away…" saying that made her feel so miserable because she knew the truth. 

Gojo got rid of her because of how awful she had been… 

"Tch, and who was your former Master? I want a name, don't beat around the bush, or you will be asking for trouble," he threatened. 

"Gojo…" Utahime said, hesitant. 

His eyes widened and that grin that made her feel uneasy spread across his face. "Really? So you're the familiar that he had when he challenged The Crown?"

She tensed. "Y-Yes…" she should have known he'd make that connection. She was once again hit with the reality that she was probably a very large target. 

She suddenly felt very unsafe. As far as she knew, other witches couldn't compel her as long as she had a Master—as long as she remained bound to Shoko— but she honestly wasn't sure if that was a rule set in stone, or if it depended on the witch's own strength. 

Utahime could count on one hand the amount of times Gojo compelled her to do anything. The very first time had been because of a lesson. His tutor wanted him to make her do something, being only ten, he just told her to get him a cookie. It was something she did on her own all the time anyway, sneak him sweets, so she really wasn't sure it counted. But she could still remember feeling that pull of his magic urging her to move. 

The next time was done six years later. They'd been on a mission, and monsters were crawling all over a town that were sent to clean up.  

It was terrible, the sight,  but Gojo had been unphased as he stood from their hiding spot. He set her up in a tree and told her to stay, and her body froze. Utahime remembered the panic that filled her heart when she watched him walk off into the night, alone. 

No matter what she did, she could not move from the spot he put her. She cried so hard that night, worried about his safety. 

When he finally returned to retrieve her in the morning, covered in blood and his eyes red with tears, she panicked. But he was smiling and only minimally hurt, and it was then that she realized he was crying only because she had been… 

You cryin', Uta? Such a baby~ he had said, teasing her with no real malice.

And even though she knew that, she was still furious. If you die, I die, idiot! You'd have me die alone in a hollow tree?! And then she'd burst into tears yet again and his smile faltered and he lifted her into his arms. 

If you die though… you'll leave me behind… 

And Utahime had tugged on their bond as hard as she could, willing him to understand when she said, I'm safest with you, don't you agree?  I want to be with you when I breathe my last… 

He never left her alone again after that. 

And the final time he compelled her was just a few months ago, when he wrote a curfew into her blood.  One that she should have been following anyway… 

Naoya's voice pulled her back to the present. "Interesting, the Great Sorcerer Gojo finally tossed you away, hm? The question though, is how did you end up serving the court doctor?"

Utahime frowned and hesitantly tugged on her bond with Shoko, she didn't want to disturb her, but this Naoya was making her nervous. He was asking too many questions.

"Answer me," he demanded, loud and angry.

Utahime yelped and puffed up, frightened, "I-I dunno! They were friends!" She whimpered out.

"Hmm, well, I'll have to have a word with His Majesty, you see, we have a new policy. All familiars must be approved, registered and numbered. I checked for your papers, I didn't even see a pending request."

He pointed at her. "You should be mine, you're wasted here in the medical ward. In fact you will be mine in due time," he said and swiftly left the room. Utahime held her breath until she could no longer sense his presence and she let out a shaky sigh when he was gone.

She thought about going to find Shoko, but she decided against it, because she really wasn't sure where she treated the king, it was kept secret on purpose. 

The only thing she could do was sit and wait for her to come back… 

When Shoko finally did come back Utahime scurried right up to her. The whole time her nerves had been in a twist, so she wasn't surprised to see the worried look on Shoko's face. 

"Hey, Uta, are you okay?" Shoko asked. "I feel super antsy, and I'm not sure why…" 

Utahime shook her head. "I think I made a mistake… Naoya was here… he was getting pretty aggressive…"

Shoko frowned deeply. "Did he hurt you?" 

She shook her head.  "No… he tried to grab me but… he couldn't," Utahime said, worriedly. 

"Huh? What do you mean?" Shoko asked. 

"I'm not sure… I thought you might have done something," Utahime said. 

"No, at least I don't think so, I only know healing spells and the like, I can't do any other kind of magic," Shoko said.

Utahime frowned in concern. "I'm worried he thinks I was trying to disrespect him on purpose because of it… I don't know what was happening." 

Shoko crossed her arms.  "Well, it doesn't matter how it happened because he isn't supposed to be putting his hands on you in the first place."

"He wants me to be his familiar…" 

"Well that won't happen," Shoko said, frowning.

"He might give you a hard time if you refuse though… maybe… maybe I should just go along with him," Utahime sighed. 

"No, absolutely not."

"But I don't want you to get hurt, he doesn't seem like the type to just ignore this… he knows who I am, and now he's interested in… o-owning me because of the barrier that showed up…" Utahime said, nervous and tense. She still didn't understand the barrier. 

She was good at detecting charms and hexes, but as she stood right now, she couldn't sense anything. It was worrying.

"I'll just talk to His Majesty then," Shoko said, her own unease filtering through their bond. "Naoya isn't kind to his familiars, and as far as I know, the Hei are traditionalists, so men don't typically accept female familiars and vice versa unless there is a specific purpose…" 

A shudder ran down Utahime's spine. She was lucky enough not to have ever personally experienced such things, but she was no stranger to it.  She knew what purposes Shoko was referring to, she's seen it happen to others.

There were no laws against taking advantage of one's own familiar. That was what they were there for after all, fulfilling the wants and needs of their Masters, whatever they may be. 

Some circles saw it as unsavory and even akin to fornicating with a beast… but there was no punishment for it, only social repercussions, if any. 

"Besides, I'm pretty sure if Gojo finds out I just let Naoya take you without at least doing my best to prevent it, there will be a huge problem…" Shoko said.

Utahime shook her head.  "I don't know about that, I honestly don't think he'll care…" saying it outloud once again felt like pricking her finger with a needle. 

It stung, but it didn't hurt at much as it used to, but she wasn't sure if it was because she was getting used to the pain, or because it really wasn't hurting that much anymore… maybe she was getting numb to it. 

Shoko shook her head and motioned for her to follow her to her office. 

Once inside, Utahime took a seat on her messy desk and Shoko sat down in her chair with a heavy sigh. 

"Uta, why do you think Gojo dislikes you so much?" Shoko asked.

Utahime flinched and dropped her head down to rest on her paws. "I told you…  I was really disrespectful to him…"

Shoko waved her hand like she was smacking the thought away.  "Bah— we've been through that already, Uta, you and Gojo were best friends, he never cared about decorum or rules or any of that nonsense, He said he really believed it was what you wanted."

Utahime frowned deeply, now even more confused than before.  She told him it wasn't what she wanted when he first told her the other reason they had traveled to the castle, but he didn't listen to her. 

He just insisted that she was lying and pretending… 

But she hadn't been, at least, not about that. She never wanted to leave Gojo, and when she insisted he got mad… 

Thinking back on it, it hadn't been that simple. 

They'd argued worse than they'd ever argued before.  Utahime had been so upset that she couldn't really even remember the things she said to him… she did remember she'd been a bit frightened though... 

Gojo had never yelled at her before, not like that. He raised his voice very rarely, and even rarer even got mad to begin with,  but that argument… 

It was the worst one ever. 

Ever though she couldn't even remember all the details anymore, she remembered that he had been asking her things that she didn't even have an answer for.

Her bow had deteriorated when it shouldn't have, the symbol for their bond, and she didn't even know why... 

The only thing that made sense to her, was that their bond had been tainted because of her feelings… and that had been reflected in her bow.

It was a sin for a familiar to want their Master the way she had yearned for hers, and even though she tried to hide it, the damage must have already been done. 

Because even though she tried her hardest to block him out from being able to hear her thoughts, she still acted on them when she knew he was asleep… 

Utahime was so ashamed… 

It was embarrassing, even thinking about it. 

Maybe if she had been stronger and resisted such sinful urges then maybe she would still be by his side. 

But no, she was weak, she might have put a barrier up around her heart, and mind, but she still let her hand wander to forbidden places at night. She still imagined her hands were not her own when she tasted pleasure for the first time… And every time after that...  

And that had been the truest sin, hadn't it? Acting on it… 

She should have known the first time she slipped and acted on her sins. She'd been given grace by the gods when he did not remember her slip up, and she still did not learn… 

Oh, she was so ashamed… 

"B-But I told him I didn't want that… he didn't believe me…" Utahime whispered, distraught. 

Shoko sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.  "Gosh, Uta… you really didn't want him to break your bond, huh?"

Utahime sank back down, and even her ears wilted sadly against her head. "N-No… I made a comment about serving someone else and… and that must have really offended him… I-I told him I wasn't serious, but… he didn't believe me… h-he hasn't even answered our letter, " she said as tears began to flood her vision.  "H-He hates me… I know it…" 

Utahime didn't want to admit it, but she was so heartbroken over this, still, and it had already been two months!  Her thoughts still drifted to her former Master at night, and she still struggled holding back her tears. 

It was shameful and embarrassing, and no matter what she did, she couldn't stop the thoughts… 

How was he doing?  Was he eating properly? Was he sleeping when he should? Did he use the coupons she left pinned to the kitchen board? Did he ever get that assistant? Did he get a new familiar? Did he still feel sick? She knew he hadn't been feeling well at the end, but she wasn't sure why… 

Utahime thought about Gojo so much, and it felt like the more she tried to ignore the thoughts, the more they'd flood her mind at night when it was quiet and silent… 

But the thought that kept her up the most at night was, did he miss her? 

Does he miss me at all? 

"Hey, Uta, don't cry, he doesn't hate you, okay? He didn't even want to give you away, he just didn't have a choice, he was—" Shoko stopped suddenly and pursed her lips. 

Utahime sat up and tilted her head in confusion as a rush of tension zipped through their bond. "Because why?" She asked, both curious and nervous of what Shoko may know that she didn't. 

Shoko wiped some tears from her own eyes and sighed. "Well… because…" she took a deep breath and shook her head. "You… you were making him sick, Uta…" she said gently. 

Utahime immediately sat up in shock. Her blood ran cold and regret and dread settled heavily in her gut. 

"W-What?!" She whispered, horrified. 

Shoko's expression turned grim. "I… wasn't supposed to tell you that," she said as she rubbed her temples.

Utahime gasped in disbelief. "W-What? What did he tell you? Why wouldn't you tell me?" 

"He didn't want you to worry… unfortunately I didn't make a binding vow, so it slipped… I just didn't anticipate our bond would mess with my emotions this much…"

Utahime flinched and looked down, embarrassed. "I-I'm sorry…"

"No, no, it's okay, I agreed to it… we just knew you'd blame yourself unnecessarily, we don't really know why it happened, but it did. Even I couldn't heal him. Your bond soured and was near corruption status…" Her voice faded to the background. 

Horror and regret was the only thing Utahime could feel right now. 

I made him sick… 

"...it's a rare phenomenon, and when it does happen, familiars are usually given capital punishment…"

All her lessons growing up once again bombarded her psyche. 

I really did corrupt him! They were right! 

Oh my gods!

He saved me… why? Why didn't he just dispose of me? I'm corrupted… 

No wonder he hasn't responded to the letter!  

I'm corrupted! 

I got him sick!

I should have known! 

It's my fault… 

I got him sick… 

I could have killed him… 

He had no choice… 

I'm corrupted! 

"Hey! Utahime, stop freaking out!" Shoko yelled suddenly, snapping her out of her head. 

"It wasn't your fault, he said he argued with you a lot on your way to the castle, that means he was just as much to blame," Shoko said.

Utahime shook her head. "No, it was all my fault… I was rude and I-I—"

"So you're saying you started all of your arguments, and he did nothing wrong?"

Utahime frowned deeply. "Well… He picked on me on occasion— but my reactions were out of bounds! I was disrespectful and—"

"Uta, that's enough. It wasn't your fault. He doesn't blame you.  Trust me. I'm sure he still considers you a friend, he's probably just being dumb and not checking his mail," Shoko said sternly. "Your bond with Gojo was already out of the ordinary simply because of how young you were. Many witches believe getting a familiar too young is bad because it might interfere with their magical development. 

"Many more believe familiars should match their Masters both physically and magically… you two ticked none of those requirements, so it was no surprise your bond was rejected in the end, it probably just went against your nature. I'm sure Gojo knew that, that's why he didn't want anyone to know what happened. He knows it was not your fault. Understand?"

Utahime just couldn't agree with that. It was her fault. From their perspective, it did seem random, or due to any of those reasons Shoko listed, but Utahime knew the truth…

Gojo got sick because Utahime had committed the worst sin of all. She'd fallen in love with him, wholly and truly, and in doing so, she inadvertently cursed him, and nearly killed him,

There was no way around it.  

By some miracle, Shoko was able to convince the King to allow Utahime to stay with her. Utahime felt guilty about it because Shoko had to lie and claimed that her healing powers were enhanced simply by being bonded to her.

The line that really convinced him being, who knows, I might be able to unlock the ability to perfect a proper youth potion one day… 

And so The King agreed. It did come with a few unfortunate drawbacks though. 

One being, Utahime had to wear a special collar that collected information about her magic, and the most unfortunate, Naoya began to visit the infirmary a few times a week, officially to monitor them and oversee Shoko's brewing process, but unofficially to badger Utahime about Gojo… He asked her all kinds of things about Gojo's magic and abilities. 

Utahime tried not to let it get to her, but being forcibly reminded of her former Master all the time was grating on her psyche.

Though she decided it was probably some kind of punishment. One she definitely deserved… 

The only good thing was that Shoko often told Naoya off if he got too nosey, but that wouldn't make him leave. He'd scoff and say things like; you're lucky you're His Majesty's favorite, or, I'll ignore that because of our friendship. 

That was another thing, Utahime knew Shoko did not consider Naoya a friend, so his instance in saying as such only served to make her feel more uneasy around him. 

.

.

"Did you know Gojo can teleport?" Naoya asked during his most recent surprise visit.

Utahime warily glanced at Shoko. Even though she knew he was asking her, Utahime was reminded the hard way that it was always assumed that a Familiar was not the one being addressed if their Master was present.  

"No, I didn't," Shoko said with a tired sigh. 

He chuckled and shook his head. "I'm not surprised, but I was asking your Familiar."

"I-I didn't…" Utahime lied. That was another thing she did often, lie to Naoya. 

Thankfully, after his second unannounced visit, Shoko clarified that Utahime could lie to him all she wanted, and that made dealing with him so much better. She didn't want to tell him Gojo's secrets, and having Shoko on her side was such a relief. 

"Really? How strange… surely you must have known he was at least trying to do it," Naoya said, his sharp eyes digging into her like blades.

"Well… He mentioned wanting to… but I always thought it was too risky to attempt…" Utahime said, lying once again. That wasn't true of course.  She knew Gojo could teleport, she helped him figure it out! What concerned her though was, how did Naoya know? 

Gojo didn't pull off a successful teleportation until they left the castle… 

A memory resurfaced of one of the many failures they encountered when he first tried to do the spell. 

He had wanted to try and teleport a poor chicken without a proper magic circle. Utahime thought it was a bad idea from the start, but she gave in and let him try it because he seemed so positive it would work... 

It had, but it hadn't at the same time... 

Gojo managed to teleport the poor creature, yes, but only it's bones... which meant its flesh was still in the coop... 

Utahime remembered screaming at him in horror because his first reaction had been to laugh at the poor thing when it popped in front of them... 

In that instance, all she could see was that exact same thing happening to Gojo. 

What if he tried to teleport without a proper magic circle one day and only managed to teleport a part of his body?! What is he left a leg behind? Or worse his skeleton?!

"Hmph, well maybe you really were holding him back because he teleported out of the throne room a few months ago, left a damn crater in the marble," Naoya said. "We've been trying to figure out how he did it ever since."

Her heart dropped. He did what?! How?! Teleporting was such a complicated and dangerous spell! He could only do it with her help! Why would he attempt that so soon after breaking their bond?! Where did he even go? Did he teleport home?! Was that why he didn't answer their letter? Because he turned himself into a puddle?!

"O-Oh…" Utahime squeaked out, horrified. 

"That kind of magic was thought to be lost to time, yet somehow, he pulled it off without an incantation, a simple spell, not even a damn magic circle… you really didn't know he could do that?" Naoya asked.

"N-No…" she mumbled, feeling nauseous all of a sudden. He did what?! Why would he do that? He knows he can't do that safely yet! What was he thinking?! He probably really did die! He probably tore himself up! 

"Hmph…" Naoya's eyes narrowed as he stared her down, and Utahime moved to hide behind Shoko's leg. 

Images of Gojo dying alone somewhere clouded her mind, and she nearly drowned in despair. 

She had to know if he was okay. She had to know why he would do something so careless.

"Sir Naoya, we're going to turn in early for tonight," Shoko said as she started to clean up her work area. "I hope you have a good night."

He laughed. "You kicking me out, Shoko?" 

"Oh no, of course not," Shoko said as she moved towards the door with Utahime on her heels. "You're welcome to stay here alone if you really want to," she said and forced a sweet smile before leaving the room. 

Utahime automatically followed after her until they got to Shoko's large room. As soon as the door was closed behind them, Utahime blurted out the first thing that was on her mind. 

"Gojo might be dead!" She whispered harshly, still feeling sick from the thought.  "Can you please, please, ask Master Yaga to send someone to the shop to check on him??"

Shoko's eyes widened. "Wait, are you sure? Was it something to do with what Naoya said?" 

Utahime nodded quickly, her eyes flooding with tears despite her attempts to stop them.  "Yes– he— the spell he did… the teleportation… we were still learning it… It is real… but it's extremely dangerous… I'm worried about him… what if that's why he hasn't answered our letter? W-What if he's dead?" She started to pace around the room, restless and distraught. "He could have torn himself apart! He might have died alone!" 

Her heart broke as images of Gojo dying a horribly painful death flashed through her mind. 

Alone... 

I promised him he wouldn't go alone... 

"P-Please, Shoko… someone needs to check on him," Utahime begged, desperate. 

"Okay, okay, I'll talk to Sir Yaga as soon as he gets back to the castle. He's out on a mission right now, but he should be back in a few days, okay?"

Utahime nodded and took a deep breath to try and calm herself. "O-Okay…"

Chapter Text

By the time Master Yaga returned from his mission, and sent someone out to check on Gojo an entire extra month just about ended 

Utahime was almost numb by the time the Knight that was sent out returned, and when Master Yaga called her and Shoko to his office to update her, what he had to share only made her feel like crying. 

"The shop is sealed up. Apparently it looks abandoned…" Master Yaga said. 

"Wh-What? Did he sell it?" Utahime blurted out, devastated by the thought. 

He shook his head. "There's not really a way to know without requesting records from the town's courthouse."

Utahime couldn't hold in the weak sound of despair. She didn't know what to think. 

Gojo sealed the shop before they left for the capital. If it was still sealed, then it was entirely possible he never made it home! 

Shoko cleared her throat. "Sir Yaga, is there any way you might be able to find out Gojo's whereabouts? We're both really worried about him, he might have done something stupid," she said. 

He nodded. "I can ask around, though I don't have as much sway as I used to around court."

"I understand, any information you can get for us will be great," Shoko said. 

"Since we're on the topic, I have been meaning to ask you a few questions, Utahime," Master Yaga said. "Are you doing okay? When I last talked to Gojo he seemed… off. I never would have imagined the two of you would split ways, please don't take this the wrong way, Miss Ieiri."

"Of course," Shoko said. 

Utahime glanced up at Shoko then at Master Yaga and sighed softly. "I'm okay, there's no need to worry about me."

The two shared a glance before Shoko took a cigarette out of her pocket and moved to the door. "Well we should get going now, I've got a few appointments to get to, whenever you can get an update please let me know."

Utahime said her goodbyes to Master Yaga and quickly followed after Shoko.

She felt guilty. Even if Shoko said she didn't mind, wasn't it still disrespectful to worry so much about another witch? 

Perhaps this was a lesson the gods were trying to teach her. She had been such a bad familiar to Gojo, she nearly killed him after all.

If he was still alive, he probably disappeared on purpose. He probably really liked his new found peace, because Utahime knew she hadn't given him that.

The best thing she could do was suck it up and move on.

And so, Utahime threw herself wholeheartedly into the tasks that Shoko delegated to her. Little by little, the days passed easier, and little by little, Utahime found herself feeling just a bit lighter every day.

Little by little, the ache that used to be so prevalent in her heart hurt less and less. Then one day Utahime realized she no longer felt pain the next time Naoya randomly asked her a question about her former Master. 

And before Utahime knew it, she felt comfortable enough to shift to her human form again. 

She only did it when she was in the medical ward, but she was able to enjoy her days so much more now. During Shoko's breaks they'd play card games or have tea together.  

Utahime even started reading again, and whenever Shoko was with the King, she would visit the shrine made in honor of the Star Goddess to pray. 

She even began to hang out with other familiars in the castle a few times a week, and even though her heart was still heavy, she was slowly gaining the strength to carry it again. 

Utahime was sitting at Shoko's desk reading through a new book when a strange shiver flitted over her skin, subtle like a small breeze. The air suddenly felt heavy and staticy, and she turned to look out the window in confusion.  

She didn't think it was going to rain today, and even though it felt like it was going to, the sky remained a bright,  clear blue. 

"Strange…" she mumbled to herself and nervously chewed her thumbnail. 

The atmosphere made her feel nervous. Her instincts were telling her it was going to rain, but her eyes showed her a clear sky. It didn't feel right… 

Utahime leaned over and opened the window so she could get a whiff of the air. It made the hair on her arms stand on end, the smell.  It should be cloudy right now, rain clouds should be rolling in, and yet the sky remained perfectly clear as far as the eye could see… 

Utahime turned around and choked on a scream.  Someone was standing in the doorway.  Someone she thought she'd never see again… 

"G-Gojo?!" Utahime gasped, shocked. "What are you doing here?" Oh my gods he's okay! He's okay! Did something happen? Did he get summoned again? 

He was leaning against the doorway with his feet crossed and propped diagonally against the other side. He smiled, and she immediately relaxed. She knew that smile, she knew that smile meant he was okay. 

"No hello?" He asked and pouted with mock offense. "Sheesh, Utahime, having so much fun here you forgot it's been four months?"

Utahime forced a smile, unsure if he was really joking with her or not.  "Hello, Gojo," she said, a little more strained than she intended. It was weird, seeing him again, hearing him talk to her so nonchalantly… 

Those four months felt like four years… she was only recently feeling right in her own skin. Everyday she had this weird feeling in the back of her mind that she was forgetting something, that she was missing something. It had gotten easier to ignore though, the gaping hole in her being that just refused to fill. 

She tried to fill it too, but nothing was enough, not food or drink, not even the suspicious potions that Shoko kept in her drawer for rainy days. Those had made her feel good in the moment, but she'd crashed so quickly and when the effect fully wore off the hole felt even bigger…

Seeing him again threw her for a loop. Any progress she thought she was making felt non-existent. Her heart was in her throat. Just seeing him eased that ache. She'd nearly forgotten what his magical energy felt like… 

The static in the air, the way the hair on her arms stood on end, the smell that reminded her of rain,  that was Gojo… 

Gojo's smile softened.  "Hello, Utahime…"

Her heart jumped, and she looked away. She cursed internally because of how she still reacted to him. She thought she was over it, prayed every week for her heart to be absolved from the sin that ruined her… 

"How are you?" He asked. 

She fumbled with the corner of a page in her book.  "I-I'm okay… what about you?"

He chuckled. "To be honest, I've been better, but that's life, right?"

"Right…"

"Hmm, c'mon, Utahime, loosen up, I'm not going to bite~" He flashed her a grin, this one she knew too, it meant he was teasing her, but she also knew with Gojo, nothing was ever really off the table. 

She sighed and closed her book so she could give him her full attention. She hadn't seen him in months, but he looked the same… 

The same wild hair, the same wide smile, the same general disregard for decorum… but he was different too.

His sunglasses were new, they were boxy, a little awkward on his face. They reminded her of the ones Master Yaga wore. They made him look older… 

His hair was actually messier than she remembered it being, now that she thought about it. It was a little longer, a little shaggier than she's seen it. 

Did he even brush it this morning? 

His coat was new, in fact it was the official uniform coat of the King's elite sorcerer army, except he was wearing it wrong. It was unbuttoned and his shirt was untucked, the lapels of the coat were uneven, one was popped up and the other folded in on itself, like the coat was carelessly thrown on. However, despite the disheveled state of his coat, it was clear by the badge pinned to the front, and the bright trim that it was official, even if it was dull.

Her heart sank.  "Did you rejoin the guard?"

Even as she asked she knew the answer, but what really concerned her was that his white boots were stained… 

Is that dirt? Or maybe dried blood? 

He shrugged. "Once a sorcerer, always a sorcerer."

"That's not what I meant… you're wearing the uniform," she said, frowning. 

"Looks great on me, doesn't it?" He asked, smirking. 

She sighed and shook her head. "Why? What about the shop?" 

He shrugged again. "I needed a change of scenery."

"But you could have gone anywhere, why come back here?" She asked incredulously. 

He just stared at her in response,  didn't say anything for a long time, until finally he cleared his throat. "I just… didn't feel like it."

Utahime frowned, "Oh… did you close the shop?" She'd be heartbroken if he did.

It had been his dream. He had worked so hard on it… If he closed it or even sold it… She'd blame herself. 

"Don't worry about the shop, it's fine…" He pushed off the doorway and walked up to her.  "What about you? How's life in the castle?"

Utahime nodded slowly, craning her neck up so she could maintain eye contact with him.  "It's nice here… Shoko is still Shoko…"

"Hm… Good to know," he took his sunglasses off and her heart skipped. She'd almost forgotten how blue his eyes were… He looked exhausted though, he had shadows beneath his eyes that looked like bruises. 

  "Are they treating you well?" he asked quietly, and used the edge of his sunglasses to tilt her face up just a bit higher so he could look directly into her eyes. 

It was impossible for Utahime to fight her blush. His eyes looked stormy right now, but she wasn't sure why. It was as if he could see right through her, just maintaining eye contact with him for a moment was enough to make her heart race. 

"I heard lots of losers are poking their noses in here to catch a glimpse of you, you're not letting them, right?" He asked slowly. 

Her face got warmer and she pulled away from him to try and hide the way he was making her melt. "I'm doing fine, Gojo… Thank you."

He chuckled quietly and stepped away. "Don't worry, they'll stop bothering you," he said and moved back over to the door. "It was nice to see you again," he said as he hung by the doorway.

Utahime smiled slightly and nodded slowly.  "It was nice to see you too…" 

He smiled again, but it didn't touch his eyes, then he shoved his sunglasses back on his face.  "I'll see you around, shortcake~" he called over his shoulder as he left the room. 

She blushed, shortcake!? That was new. She rolled her eyes and buried her nose back in her book. She wasn't sure how she felt about it because he just called her short!

Which she was , but still, she wasn't that short…  

Seeing him again so suddenly after four months apart was also quite jarring. She still didn't understand why he was here. Why did he rejoin the guard? He said he'd never come back! 

More importantly, if he was in the guard, didn't that mean he was fighting? Had he figured out how to cast spells fast enough to defend himself? Had he found someone proper to take her place? 

Unable to ignore her concerns, Utahime set her book aside and transformed into a cat and ran out of the room after him.  

It wasn't as easy to track him as it used to be just because she was no longer connected to him. Even so, his magic signature was engraved in her mind. She could recognize it like the back of her hand, and though it took her a moment to scan the area, as soon as she caught on to his energy she darted towards him. 

"Gojo! Wait!" Utahime whispered harshly, not wanting to yell in the echoing halls. 

She caught up to him at one of the various winding staircases, and he paused on his way down to wait for her to speak. 

"W-Wait…" was all she could manage to get out, a little breathless from how fast she ran. Her mind was racing as well. She had so many things she wanted to ask him, but now that he was standing in front of her again, she didn't know where to start.

"Don't you know it's quite rude to address witches so casually, especially those with my prestige?" He said after a few heavy beats of silence dragged by where she choked on the dry air in her lungs. 

Her heart sank.  She tried to speak multiple times, but she couldn't find her voice. 

"Try again, Utahime," he said. His tone wasn't cold, or annoyed, or even angry. It was just…  empty . 

She had never heard him talk like that before.  Gojo was always so lively and expressive. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and hardly ever frowned. 

"W-What?" She asked in disbelief. 

He just stared at her, the dark lenses of his sunglasses revealing nothing. She hated it, not being able to know what he was feeling. It felt wrong. The realization that she was no longer privy to his thoughts or emotions hit her hard. 

The wounds reopened, and her heart began to bleed all over again. 

"M-Master Gojo…" she whispered, suddenly nervous and worried she'd offended him. 

He slipped his hands into his pockets and tilted his head. "Yes, Utahime?"

She didn't know what to do.  Her emotions were too heavy. What was right and proper and what she wanted clashed together fiercely, leaving her frozen to the spot.

She should apologize for taking his time and return to the medical ward. She should wish him a good evening and leave him be, but that's not what she wanted. 

She wanted him to pick her up again. She wanted to run up to him and fix his uniform, straighten his collar and smooth his hair.  She wanted to ask him if he missed her. 

"H-Have a good evening…" she finally forced out, and looked down at her paws, unable to look at him anymore.

"Thanks," he said and resumed walking down the long staircase.

Utahime frowned deeply and shut her eyes as the burn of emotion began to overflow in her heart anew. She didn't want him to go. She didn't want to watch him walk away. 

What if it was another four months before she saw him again? What if it was longer? What if it was years? What if she never saw him again? 

She wanted to yell at him to come back, but she knew she didn't have the right to do that, she never really did. 

But even though she liked to tell herself she followed the rules, when it came to Gojo, she always seemed to break them… 

Utahime bolted after him again, her mind rushing through so many thoughts that none of them managed to stick. 

When she got to the bottom of the flight he was on she cut in front of him and shifted to her human form. 

"Gojo—!"

"Change back, now ," he cut in sternly.

She froze for half a beat before immediately shifting back to her cat form, confused, embarrassed, and hurt all at once.

He stepped away from her, and she wanted to cry, but a second later a familiar voice echoed through the hall, and her stomach dropped.  

"Why if it isn't the Great Sorcerer Gojo! I have been eagerly awaiting the day to meet you," Naoya said as he walked up the staircase. He stopped a few steps higher than Gojo, putting him a whole head taller than him. "I gotta say, you're not quite what I imagined."

Gojo didn't even tilt his head up, so it looked like he was just staring at Naoya's neck, and knowing him,  Utahime wouldn't be surprised if he was. "Am I supposed to know you?" Gojo asked as he looked down to pick some lint off his uniform. 

Utahime could feel the beginning of panic building up in her gut. She had no idea if Gojo really knew Naoya or not, but she knew that Naoya didn't like to be disrespected, and that was Gojo's favorite pastime, disrespecting other sorcerers… 

She could only hope that since they never fought Naoya, that Gojo would be amicable towards him. She didn't want Naoya to dislike Gojo if only to keep him out of trouble. 

Naoya scoffed. "I am the kingdom's finest sorcerer, Special General of the Kingdom Armies, and Master Chief of the Hei."

Gojo whistled as if impressed. "Neat," he said, smirking. 

An awkward silence settled in for a few beats before Naoya cleared his throat and gestured with his boot to where Utahime sat by Gojo's feet.

"Are you aware that your former familiar is sniveling at your feet?" Naoya asked with such disdain in his voice one might think he was talking about a bug… 

A grin worked its way onto Gojo's face, and Utahime's heart sank. 

Her first thought was that he found what Naoya said amusing, but before the sorrow could consume her, a cold chill crept through her body, making her fur puff out on instinct… 

Gojo tilted his head down to look at Utahime, the grin still on his face, one that she quickly realized looked more eerie than amused. 

All Utahime could see was her own terrified puffed visage in the reflection of his boxy sunglasses… 

"Oh! Would you look at that!" Gojo said, somehow sounding both uninterested and surprised at the same time. 

Naoya narrowed his eyes and looked down at Gojo along the bridge of his nose. "It has a remarkable barrier technique, that wouldn't have anything to do with you… would it?"

Gojo tilted his head to the side in a theatrical manner and tapped his chin as if in deep thought, and Utahime knew he was messing around… 

Oh, she wanted to yell at him!  She would be right now if she could. She didn't want him to provoke Naoya. She had no idea what he was capable of and something about Gojo's presence unsettled her, as if something was wrong. 

"What barrier?" Gojo asked.

Naoya huffed and leaned down to grab Utahime, and was once again stopped by that same strange shimmering barrier before it once again faded away.

Gojo's grin immediately disappeared, and the pressure in the room suddenly felt a whole lot heavier. "Oh…" he mumbled and finally lifted his head to look Naoya in the face. "I'm assuming you've already asked it's Master what that's about?"

Utahime flinched when she heard him refer to her like she didn't have a soul… like everyone else in the kingdom did her kind. He's never done that before, ever…  

Naoya nodded. "I would, but it is known that Shoko is only a healer, she would not know what that's about."

Gojo shrugged. "Well, sorry, I don't have any answers for you."

"That's unfortunate, I was hoping as it's former Master, you'd be able to provide insight," Naoya said with a sigh. 

"No p e, Gojo said, popping the p so loud the sound echoed slightly in the stairwell. 

"Hmph… that technique is very powerful, it seems rather useful, I'm surprised you got rid of it," Naoya said. 

Gojo shrugged again. "Eh, I don't care, it nags too much, and was pretty much holding me back."

Utahime once again felt like she'd been slapped in the face. She kept telling herself that Gojo was only saying that because he told her to say it to those that asked, but it still hurt… 

"Huh… that's interesting, I'd like to see if that barrier works on you too." 

Gojo smiled again, a cheshire like smile and bent down to reach for her.  To Utahime's shock, the barrier showed up again, but what confused her even more was the fact that she could see Gojo's eyes glowing faintly through his sunglasses — as the new ones were not enchanted like his old ones were… 

His eyes were glowing, which meant he was using his magic… 

Was he responsible for the barrier? Why didn't it show up with Shoko or anyone else? Utahime had only noticed it showing up with Naoya… and now with Gojo… 

But hadn't Gojo reached for her in the office without issues? 

Yes, he didn't make direct contact with her, but he still touched her in some fashion, and the barrier hadn't shown up… 

"Strange huh?" Gojo said as he straightened. "Maybe asking Shoko would be a good place to start, hm?"

Naoya waved him off. "I'm sure she wouldn't know. Believe me, that woman can barely brew potions!" He said and gestured down the hall. "Nevermind that for now, why don't you come with me? I can show you how things have changed since you left."

Utahime bit her lip, she wanted to yell at Gojo not to go with Naoya. He reminded her of a snake, and she didn't trust him one bit.  

Gojo gave Naoya a pat on the back. "Ehh, sure! Why not? I mean, I've got a mission to go to and whatever, but I guess I can spare a few moments to see what you've done with the place~!"

"Perfect! Come on then, I think you'll actually be a great candidate," Naoya said and led Gojo away. 

As soon as they disappeared down the hall Utahime ran back to the infirmary. 

She actually wanted to go with Gojo, but it was just now dawning on her that he may have been serious in the way he spoke about her… 

She also knew it was a bad idea because Naoya was there… 

Besides, she was too hurt and confused to focus…

Once Shoko returned from her appointment with the King, Utahime rushed to her.  "Shoko! Gojo is here, I'm afraid Naoya is trying to recruit him!"

Shoko's eyes widened. "Oh, really? Huh… I never would have thought he'd be interested."

Utahime frowned deeply. She had expected Shoko to be more concerned than that.  "This isn't good, Shoko… what if something bad happens to him?"

Shoko sighed and sat down in her chair with her paperwork, but opted to rub her temples instead. "Uta… I think… maybe it's time you give yourself a break and stop worrying over Gojo so much."

Utahime flinched back in surprise. "W-Wha? But— I didn't mean— he's—"

"It's not very healthy, Uta… I feel terrible saying this, but you're making me concerned.  You were doing so well, and the second you see him, it's like you've regressed. even I'm feeling depressed over this idiot. He is a grown man, you don't need to mother him. Naoya is an asshole, yes, but His Majesty trusts him, and he's only ever done good for the kingdom's interests. 

"I was mainly concerned because of how he treats his familiars, but Gojo is a sorcerer in his own right. He can handle himself, and if he thinks the Hei is a good lot to be around, then doesn't that say more about him than them?" Shoko finished as she fumbled with a cigarette. 

Utahime was so mortified she couldn't speak. She thought she had been hiding her emotions well enough not to affect Shoko, but evidently she hadn't.

"I-I didn't realize… I-I'm so sorry, Shoko…" Utahime whispered around the lump in her throat.  

She wanted to argue more. 

"It's okay, I should have mentioned it earlier," Shoko said and took a drag from the cigarette that made Utahime feel sick… 

She wanted to insist that something was wrong.  Gojo never dressed like that, so disheveled and messy, and his smiles were too sharp and wide… 

Yes, he was careless and obnoxious at times, but he was always well dressed… 

But Shoko wouldn't care for such a detail… 

How was she supposed to properly explain her worries without annoying Shoko?

Naoya showed up to the infirmary a few days later with a man Utahime never saw before. 

She had been curled up by the window, asleep, and had woken up when they snuck into the room like slithering snakes. 

Utahime had stayed where she was, pretending to sleep and wishing to avoid confrontation. She could hear them whispering… 

"That's the one right there, I can hardly imagine that Gojo idiot besting every sorcerer in the kingdom!" Naoya said, laughing.  "He seemed far too weak to pull something like that off."

Utahime immediately felt anger for Gojo. How dare he insult him like that!  Gojo was a genius, he was blessed by the gods! He had to be!  Naoya was just jealous of the gift that Gojo had… 

The other man spoke next.  "I wouldn't underestimate him, Master Zen'in, his accomplishment was no easy feat."

"Well,  he certainly didn't give me any signs that he was a great sorcerer," Naoya laughed. "Go on, now, try to grab it."

Utahime braced herself, but was thankful to find that barrier had rebuked the stranger that was apparently reaching for her while she 'slept'.

"How fascinating indeed… you say it even repelled Gojo? I'll get my men to research this right away. Every spell can be broken, we just need to figure out the key so to speak," the stranger said. 

"Mhm, in the meantime, I plan to have a word with His Majesty… his vanity is blinding him from the bigger picture. I can use this Familiar to advance our goals much quicker than currently. It's obviously powerful, we just need to figure out a way to get it away from the medic woman, without unnecessary violence," Naoya said. 

The two continued to talk as they walked out of the infirmary, and from that day onward, Utahime started taking her naps under Shoko's desk to hide more… 

Utahime was fretting so much that she took the advice of one of the maids and bought herself a powerful charm a few days later.  It was often given to familiars in order to regulate their emotions so as not to disturb their Masters, and many familiars in the castle wore one.

She could have tried to cast another barrier around her mind and heart as she did before, but she was worried it would negatively affect Shoko somehow. While the charm she purchased was sold as a proven way to manage pesky familiars without side effects, so she figured it was safer… 

And after three days off wearing it she noticed she wasn't fretting all the time. It was nice, not freaking out over the smallest things.  Shoko seemed more relaxed as well, and that was an even bigger relief. 

Utahime hated feeling like a burden, she wanted to be useful and needed. She didn't want Shoko to regret taking her in. 

And after the fourth day of wearing it, Utahime noticed Shoko was laughing again. And that was a good thing. It meant she must not be depressed because of her anymore.

That was good. 

***

"You seem a lot happier again, Uta, I'm relieved," Shoko said over tea on the sixth day. 

Utahime nodded. "Mhm."

"I was worried I was going to have to stage an intervention," she said, laughing. 

Utahime smiled in response.  

"Did you catch a look at that diplomat from the neighboring kingdom?" Shoko asked, smirking. "He was quite handsome, wasn't he?"

Utahime nodded. "Indeed."

"I wonder what kind of spells and potions they use over there… Do you think they also know how to heal wounds the way I do? I heard it's a rare skill…"

"Perhaps." 

***

A week and a half had gone by since Utahime purchased the charm, and she never felt better. Nothing upset her anymore, and she found it easy to smile. She felt so light and care free, she could barely remember why she ever cried in the first place. 

She smiled more often, and laughed when appropriate, and even found herself humming again. 

It was nice. It was good.  Shoko was happy, and so Utahime was too. 

Even the surprise guest in the infirmary couldn't shake her. 

"Oh, Master Gojo, I'll get Master Ieiri," Utahime said and jumped off her perch at the window and straight into Shoko's office. "You have a patient. He's sustained a lot of damage," Utahime explained. 

Shoko frowned and quickly left the office only to gasp when she saw the terribly bloody state Gojo was in. "W-What the hell?  I would have thought you'd be in hysterics, Utahime!" Shoko said as she rushed to get her medical tools and her basket of potions and salves.

Utahime jumped up on a nearby table and tilted her head in confusion. "Why?  You have treated worse," she said, as a matter of fact. 

Master Gojo laughed, sudden and sharp. "She's right. The blood isn't all mine," he mused. 

Shoko huffed and held her hands out and began to work her magic over him. "What the devil were you doing? Your insides… I'm surprised you're standing!"

He shrugged. "Ow— eh, just killing demons is all you need to know, big boy missions."

"Are they sending you alone?" Shoko asked, bewildered. 

"Mhm, don't tell though, I can't have them thinking I'm weak or anything," he said with a laugh. 

Shoko shook her head and stepped away. "Don't move, I have to get some important supplies from my room, Uta, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," Shoko called over her shoulder as she hurriedly left the room. 

Utahime nodded and turned towards Master Gojo to watch him like Shoko asked. 

He was watching her too, staring rather shamelessly, so Utahime respectful averted her eyes. 

"How are you, Utahime?" He asked.

"Well, thank you," she said. 

He got up from the bed, and Utahime looked back up at him with a frown.  

"Master Ieiri asked you to stay put," she said. 

He smirked and walked closer to her. "What's going on, Utahime? Since when were you so prim and proper?"

She just stared at him, not sure what to say, so she didn't say anything. 

He took his sunglasses off to look her over, and the longer he looked at her, the deeper his frown grew.  "Utahime… what is this?" He asked as he hooked his finger under the collar she was wearing. 

"His Majesty requested I wear it," Utahime explained.

"Why?"

"To monitor my magic," she said.

His expression darkened. "And Shoko let that happen?"

"Of course, His Majesty's word is law."

He scoffed and tugged at the collar. "Take it off."

"I'm sorry I can't."

His eyes narrowed and Utahime hung her head. She knew defying him was going to anger him, but she couldn't disobey an order from the King. 

Thankfully, Shoko swept back into the room holding a few potions. "Here, drink this, idiot," she grumbled and shoved a potion into Gojo's hand.

He drank it without looking at it or her, he kept his eyes on Utahime, and she kept her eyes politely averted. 

"What have you done to her, Shoko?" He demanded. He sounded angry, but Utahime didn't think it was necessary. 

Shoko put her hands on her hips. "Excuse me? What are you talking about? How about you say thank you? I believe I just healed your dumb ass!" 

He barked out a laugh. "Yeah, whatever, I woulda been fine without your help. How about you answer my question?"

Shoko shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You've got her wearing a fucking collar! " He growled, his magic energy pulsing wildly.

"It's not a collar, it's more like a necklace, besides, all of the familiars in the castle wear one nowadays—"

"Fuck that!" He turned to Utahime. "Take it off."

Utahime frowned and hung her head to avoid the anger in his gaze. 

"She can't, she has to wear it so she won't call attention to herself, I thought you wanted her to blend in?" Shoko asked. 

"You haven't noticed that she's acting weird?!" 

"I think she's finally grown accustomed to life here, and you are not helping by storming in here and causing a scene!" 

"How could you not notice?! It took me like two seconds to notice!"

"Get out, Gojo. You can come back when you decide to be civil," Shoko snapped. 

"Shoko—"

"Go, get out, I have a headache now. Your presence always upsets her! And you're not helping by acting like a fool! So go!"

"Tch."

The sound of a door slamming echoed through the infirmary, making Utahime jump. Shoko sighed heavily and lit a cigarette and took a few deep puffs before collapsing in her chair.  

"You are okay, right Utahime?" She asked in concern. "That idiot didn't bother you again, did he?"

Utahime looked up and smiled softly, silently urging her to relax. "Of course I am. I'm just a little rattled because of how chaotic his energy was."

Shoko nodded and rubbed her temples, her cigarette dangling from her lips.  "Yeah… I don't remember it being that suffocating before. How did you even deal with him for so long?"

"Patience, I suppose," Utahime said. 

Patience… that's what it was, right? 

Chapter Text

The infirmary got a new visitor. It was rare and even more random, but every now and again, Master Gojo would show up to get treated from various wounds that Master Ieiri said he could treat himself. 

He was always disheveled and chaotic too, he'd knock down stacks of paper, and spill various healing tinctures Master Ieiri had stocked up. He would even shove them in his pockets claiming he needed them, even though Master Ieiri said he didn't. 

Each time he visited, he always left Master Ieiri more annoyed than ever, and it seemed as if each time he was purposely pushing her buttons. 

Utahime would just sit and stare at his antics, not really understanding why he behaved the way he was, but knowing it wasn't her place to ask. At the same time, she would always notice this strange sensation in the back of her head. 

It was like a prickly tingle, like something was poking at her mind.  It was always the strongest whenever Master Gojo showed up, especially whenever he caused a mess.  

It was similar to the feeling one got when trying to remember something, like the name of a song or a play. Something was on the tip of her tongue every time he made a mess of her Master's work space, but whatever it was stayed there. 

It was as if the harder she tried to discover what that feeling was, the stronger and the blurrier her memory got. She knew Master Gojo was her former Master, but she had no idea why he sparked such chaos in her mind, not to mention in reality. 

Weren't witches supposed to be dignified? Why was he so chaotic? She felt like she knew the answer, especially when she looked at him, but she could never pinpoint what it was. 

"You know, for as prim and proper as you're trying to be, you aren't even doing it right," Master Gojo said during his most recent chaotic visit.

Utahime looked up from her spot curled up on the table. "What do you mean?"

He gestured to her as if she had the answer he spoke of. "The whole obedient Familiar act! You have always been far from that!" 

"I don't understand."

"The way you address Shoko! You should technically be calling her Mistress , that is the most proper and dignified way."

"Oh, I apologize, I didn't know. Nobody corrected me before you," Utahime politely bowed. "Thank you, Master Gojo, I'll be sure not to make the same mistake in the future."

He scowled and punched the counter beside him, rattling the shelf above it. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"You're a damn liar, Utahime."

"I apologize, I don't understand what—"

He grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and shook her around.  "What the fuck happened to you?! You're not being yourself! Snap the fuck out of it already!"

Utahime flinched from the pain of being shaken about, but otherwise didn't complain.  It was clear she'd upset him somehow, so the best thing for her to do was to apologize. 

"I'm sorry—"

"Ugh, no , no, no! You never apologize without a fight!" he dropped her on the counter and growled. "Take that damn thing off," he demanded angrily. 

"What is going on in here?!" Mistress Ieiri yelled as she burst into the medical ward. 

Master Gojo spun around to face her and gestured to Utahime again. "You've turned her into a fucking doll! If I'd have known you were going to do that I wouldn't have asked you for help!"

Mistress Ieiri glared at him.  "Excuse me? What are you talking about?"

"Are you fucking serious?? Look at her!" He snapped and grabbed Utahime's head and pinned her down against the table, his palm engulfing her small head. "Why the fuck is she so docile?! You know something is wrong with her! Look, she should be trying to bite my hand off!"

"Oh… shit…" Mistress Ieiri whispered, "You're actually right…" 

"Of course I am!  I know how my Utahime acts, and it's definitely not like this," he growled out and finally lifted his hand off her.  

Utahime sat up and stared at the two witches in front of her curiously. She could tell Master Gojo was very upset, and even Mistress Ieiri was concerned, but she couldn't even guess what the cause was. 

"Take that damn thing off her," Master Gojo snapped. 

Mistress Ieiri frowned and moved over to Utahime. "Hey, are you sure you're feeling alright, Uta? Gojo kind of has a point—"

"Tch, kind of??"

"— you are acting off. I would have expected you to at least yell at him for manhandling you," Mistress Ieiri said as she took off her registration necklace. 

"Give me that shit," Master Gojo said, and snatched it from her hands. 

Utahime watched him as he inspected the necklace and the tag that hung from it– her identification. 

His expression only darkened the longer he looked at it, and when he was done he looked beyond frustrated. 

"So there's no charm or hex on the damn thing besides a tracker and some spell to monitor her magic…" he grumbled. 

Mistress Ieiri sighed, "So you mean exactly what I told you it does?"

He scoffed, "Whatever, that doesn't change the fact that something is up with her! She has got to have something else on her, I know it," he said through his teeth. 

A firm knock on the door drew everyone's attention to the doorway where Master Yaga stood. "Ahem, Gojo, your boat is late, you are holding it up,  it needs to disembark now or it might clash with the storm brewing to the west."

He sighed heavily and jabbed a finger in Mistress Ieiri's face. "Fix her, or I'm going to just break up this arrangement and drag her stubborn ass home."

She scoffed and slapped his hand away. "You can't just do that. She has to have a say, doesn't she? What if she doesn't want to go back?"

Master Gojo scowled, "I'll just force her then," he snapped and quickly left the room with Master Yaga following after him shouting,  "What the hell is going on??"

Once it was quiet in the infirmary again, Mistress Ieiri let out a heavy sigh and left the room. "Come on, Uta, let's get fresh air," she called over her shoulder. 

Utahime followed after, staying close to her heels like she typically did.  

.

.

"Okay, I really need you to be honest with me, Uta, Gojo is right, you're acting weird, and I didn't see it for some reason, what happened?" Shoko asked once they arrived at the gardens. 

"Nothing happened," Utahime said. "I just got an EM charm."

"So you are wearing a charm," Shoko said, sounding tired. 

"Yeah, it's issued to many of the other Familiars in the castle, the head maid recommended it to me," Utahime explained.  "I'm really thankful I got it."

Mistress Ieiri frowned.  "Are you sure? What does it even do?"

"It helps regulate my emotions," Utahime said. 

" Just your emotions? Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure."

She sighed and sat beside her. "Why did you get it? Was it because of something I said?"

Utahime tilted her head to the side. "No, I just realized I was burdening you… things have been much easier since I got it though, I'm sure you've noticed." 

Mistress Ieiri ran her hand through her hair, causing a few strands to stick up. "I suppose so… but when did you get it? I thought you were getting better on your own… "

"I have only had it for about two weeks."

Mistress Ieiri relaxed slightly and a small smile worked onto her face.  "Oh, okay, so you actually were improving on your own. I'm sorry if I said something that upset you. I don't think you're a burden."

"Hm, I don't really understand," Utahime said. "I was putting unnecessary stress on you. That is a fact."

"Huh? Well I meant before—"

"You don't need to bother explaining things to it, Shoko," Master Zen'in said as he approached them from the side. 

Mistress Ieiri stood up to face him.  "Oh, Sir Zen'in… What a pleasant surprise, what can I do for you?" 

He grinned and held up a scroll. "I just have a decree from His Majesty to give you," he said and handed it to her. 

She pursed her lips and unrolled the scroll and grimaced. Utahime looked up at her curiously, sensing that whatever she read in the scroll had upset her. 

"You can't just do that!" Mistress Ieiri snapped. 

Master Zen'in laughed. "I just did, Shoko."

"Of course you'd bring this up as soon as Gojo leaves," she said through her teeth.  

"Oh, that idiot? He can't do anything, he's actually quite weak. I'm not too surprised though, disappointed sure, but not surprised. The sorcerers here were quite embarrassing before I got here. Besides, he's the one that threw away a useful tool in the first place, why would he care?" Master Zen'in said, smirking.

"You can't just take her! I won't allow it," Mistress Ieiri said angrily. 

"It's temporary, no need to be hysterical," he said and straightened his uniform. "We've got plenty of Familiars in our arsenal that run on limited contracts. I've just overridden your current one so it can be put to proper use— I mean after all, I haven't seen any meaningful progress on your youth potion, for His Majesty, "   he said, then snapped his fingers. "Come here."

Utahime stiffened and walked over to his side.

Mistress Ieiri gasped. "What? How is that even possible?!"

"It's something I developed a few years ago. The nature of paper contracts give way to plenty of opportunity for amendments. No one ever thought about it before though," Master Zen'in explained. "Much better than the primitive method of our forebears."

"I—I thought you and your people were traditionalists, why would you make these kinds of exceptions?" Mistress Ieiri asked. 

Master Zen'in leaned down and reached for Utahime again, and grinned when he was able to pat her on the head. "I'm sure you'll find that there are always exceptions to the rule for the right price, or the right amount of– let's say opportunity."

"How long is this going to be?!" Mistress Ieiri asked. 

"The revised contract is attached to His Majesty's decree," Master Zen'in said and began walking away. "Come on, we have work to do," he said to Utahime. 

She nodded and dutifully followed him.  "Yes,  Master Zen'in."

"Good to see you've finally learned manners, I got to say I was fully prepared to break you in, glad that's not necessary now," he said. 

"If you hurt a single hair on her head I swear I'll never heal any of your people again!" Mistress Ieiri yelled after him. 

He laughed and waved her off. "If any of my sorcerers are hurt enough to warrant your help then they are better off dead or quitting."

Master Zen'in led Utahime down to a large section of the castle that was closed off to all but members of The Hei.

The room he stopped in was dimly lit, and smelt of smoke.  

It was a training hall, indicated by the enchanted weapons in the corner and hanging on the walls. In lieu of training dummies, multiple Familiars were standing at attention, awaiting orders from a Master that did not appear to be present.

"I've only got you in my hands for two weeks, but I think that's more than enough time," Master Zen'in said and tapped a nearby table. 

Utahime immediately jumped onto it. 

He smirked. "I like this new attitude of yours, much more fitting," he said and reached forward to pet her again, and his smirk evolved into a sharp grin.  " And you've stopped repelling me, though is that because I now command you, or because you have realized the error of your ways? We will have to see."

He dropped his hand to his side and slowly walked around the table Utahime sat on, eyeing her as if she were a prize.

"Your name will be Kolþerna so long as I'm your Master, do you understand?" Master Zen'in said. 

…

"Yes, Master Zen'in," Kolþerna said. 

"Perfect, now tell me, do you still retain the memories of your time serving the witch Gojo?"

When Kolþerna took a breath to speak her voice did not come out, the response she intended to say stuck in her throat.  

She did remember, but the word yes, would not come out, as if it was trapped in her chest. So she nodded instead, as she still wanted to give her Master a proper response.  

"Hm, you do? How careless of him, well, that makes things a whole lot easier for me," Master Zen'in said. "Tell me, what is the name of his strongest spell?"

Once again, Kolþerna found she was unable to speak. She tried multiple times, but could not get her vocal cords to comply. 

" Tell me," Master Zen'in said,  compelling her to speak. 

"It's—  he calls it Limitless…" she finally said, her voice a shaky whisper. As if the words were ripped out of her. 

"Huh… what does it do?"

" …A-Anything."

"Explain… a single spell cannot do anything."

Kolþerna shifted uncomfortably, her voice once again hard to force out. That faint tingling feeling in the back of her mind resurfaced much stronger than before.  

"It—  it can," was all she managed to say. 

"Hmm… Can you cast it?"

"I cannot."

He huffed in annoyance and shook his head. "Alright, I should have expected that, let's start with something simpler, that barrier you use, show me how to cast it."

"I… don't know how," she said.

"Hmph, how strange," he said and held his hand out to her as he gathered his magic. "Before, I would have assumed you were lying, but it seems you really were telling the truth. You don't know… not to matter though, I'll just have to scan you properly for information."

A dark magic circle appeared beneath her and she flinched as the spell immobilized her, and dark red tinted magic began to coil around her, searching… 

"Hmm… you've got a few different magic signatures attached to you," Master Zen'in said as he walked around the circle.  "You're wearing an EM charm– good. That explains your obedience. There's something else there though… it's almost impossible for me to detect…" he stepped forward and grabbed her face and squeezed hard. "Shift to your human form."

Once again that feeling in the back of her mind trembled and wavered. Resistance… 

"Oh? Now this is interesting," he said,  and held his hand up again. "Shift, now ." 

Compelled, Kolþerna shifted, her form glittered and warped as the shadows cloaking her fell away to reveal her human visage.

A sharp grin spread over her Master's face.  "Well, well, well, you're quite decent to look at," he grabbed her face and turned her to the side to examine her. He looked her over like she was having a medical evaluation, poked and prodded at her without much care for her decency. 

He was in the middle of tearing at her cotton corset when someone else walked in the room. 

"Oh, Naoya, come on, in the training hall? You're breaking your own rule!" A woman's sultry voice said. 

He tossed Kolþerna to the floor and crossed his arms. "Silence, Mei. I'm simply searching its body for any kind of charm or rune. There is something on it, another magic signature, but it's hidden quite well."

Mistress Mei slowly walked in the room. She moved like a serpent, and her face was like a fox. "I'll check the poor darling for you."

Master Zen'in huffed and took a step back. "Fine. Check it thoroughly, I'm already aware of the EM charm, I'm looking for something more subtle, I'll be in my office handling paperwork, retrieve me when you're done," he said and swiftly left the room. 

Mistress Mei laughed to herself, short and quiet, as if she were amused by a joke. "My, my, look at you," she said as she walked around her much like Master Zen'in did. "You are quite adorable, come on now, follow me," she said and briskly walked away. 

Kolþerna stumbled to her feet and fixed the ties on her corset and dress as she scurried after Mistress Mei. She was led to another room that was draped in luxury.  It smelt of roses and wine.

"Take your clothes off, pet, promise I'll be gentle," Mistress Mei said with a slow smile, her ruby red lips shining in the low light eerily like blood. 

Kolþerna hesitated and looked around the room at all the crows perched on the window still and on the ceiling rafters. She could sense that they were all Familiars… 

"Don't worry, we've all got the same parts in here," she said with a laugh.  

That tingling feeling in her mind once again buzzed at her nerves. She was nervous, but she knew she couldn't defy a witch's orders, even those that did not come from her Master. 

Silent, Kolþerna slowly stripped to all but her thin drawers. 

Mistress Mei moved over and inspected her, grabbed her face between her fingers, her sharpened nails leaving dents in her cheeks.  "Wait a second… Oh! What are you doing here?"  

"I apologize, I'm not sure what you mean."

Mistress Mei's eyes narrowed and she took a step back to look her over again.  "Hm, well, the only issue I see is this," she said and poked her nail against the magic sigil stuck to the skin right over Kolþerna's heart– the EM charm. "How long have you been wearing this, pet?"

"About two weeks…"

"I see…hmm," Mistress Mei smirked and grabbed the edge of the sigil and tore it off, making Kolþerna flinch. "I don't care for these things, half the fun of a cute little Familiar is being able to scare them a little!  Unfortunately it'll take just as long for the effect to wear off," She pointed to the pile of clothes. "Go on, make yourself decent, and join me for a drink when you're done," she said, and moved over to a fancy table set up by the window. 

Kolþerna nodded and redressed herself before moving to join Mistress Mei by the window. The longer she looked at this witch, the more the strange feeling in her mind grew.  It was gradually becoming more prevalent, but she couldn't figure out what it was yet. 

"My goodness, that little charm there had quite the hold on you!" Mistress Mei said. "You don't even recognize me, do you?"

"Uh… you're Mistress Mei," Kolþerna said. 

"And that doesn't ring any bells for you, pet?"

"Um… I don't understand; I apologize."

She sighed heavily and shook her head as she clicked her tongue. " Tsk, tsk, this won't do! You don't even remember our fun little history?"

Kolþerna tilted her head in thought. "Are you referring to when my first Master fought you?"

A thin, sharp smile spread on her face.  "Of course I am! My, my,  I thought your memory was wiped, I'm quite surprised you don't have any choice words for me after what I did to your precious Master~" Mistress Mei said with a laugh.  

Kolþerna shook her head in confusion,  and when she spoke,  her voice was stiff and strained, as if the words were being forced out. "My—My current Master is Zen'in Naoya… I have no reason to hold grudges for past deeds committed against one I do not serve."

Mistress Mei's smile fell and she clicked her tongue in disapproval once more.  "Mhm, trust me, pet, you very well do… ugh,  well, I must admit, I'm not too surprised this happened to you," she said and took a sip of her wine. "See, the stronger the emotions that need taming, the heavier the effect of that charm is, and you were such an expressive little kitty cat back in the day,  it's no wonder you've been reduced to this."

Kolþerna nervously chewed the inside of her cheek and absently fussed with her hands. A slow unease was beginning to creep up into the back of her mind, yet the cause was eluding her. 

Was it something to do with Mistress Mei?

The sound of crows cawing suddenly cut through the quiet room and Kolþerna jumped, startled.

Mistress Mei laughed. "Oh really?" She looked up and smiled at the crows sitting on the ceiling beams. "Good eye, girls," she said and moved aside her wine glass. "Let me see your hands, pet."

Kolþerna fidgeted nervously and slowly offered her hands to Mistress Mei.

"Ooh, you've got a very good eye indeed, girls," she said as she grabbed Kolþerna's left hand. "What is this pretty thing?" She asked as she ran her thumb over the thin silk ribbon decorating Kolþerna's middle finger. 

"Oh…I—I don't know?" she said quietly, confused, but even as she said that, the tingling feeling in her mind returned strong enough to make the hairs on her arm stand on end. 

"Then I hope you don't mind if I take it~" Mistress Mei said and attempted to slide the ribbon off, but it didn't actually budge. "Huh, well, looks like we found the sneaky little charm on you.~"

"Oh," Kolþerna mumbled and tilted her head down to examine the ribbon on her finger. She couldn't even feel it. How long had it been there? Wasn't it always? 

Mistress Mei held her hand over the ring and murmured a spell too quiet to make out. A tiny dark reddish light bolted at the ring only to clash against a shimmering lavender light. 

Kolþerna gasped in surprise and instinctively pulled her hand away from Mistress Mei. 

The door burst open before either woman could react and Master Zen'in strode in.  "I knew you'd be wasting time, Mei mei, did you check it or not?"

Mistress Mei turned to him with a sly smile.  "I do believe I asked you not to burst into my space before.  Do it again and we will have a problem."

"Answer the question, Mei mei," he demanded. 

Her smile widened and she nodded. "Yes, I did a full evaluation, and I found nothing out of the ordinary."

"That's not possible, I sensed something was amiss."

"Mh, well, I think you're just sensing simple differences in Familiars of the fairer sex, they can be quite a… unique bunch, much more dignified and complicated than men of all kinds," Mistress Mei said with a laugh. 

Master Zen'in scoffed and snapped his fingers. "Fine, let's go,  Kolþerna."

She nodded and transformed back to her cat form and jumped to the ground by his side. 

Mistress Mei grimaced. "Oh dear,  I didn't realize you changed the poor thing's name, pity, did you erase any memories by chance?"

He scoffed and crossed his arms. "No, the only reason I did not was because I need its knowledge intact." 

Mistress Mei sighed and glanced at her nails. "Oh my, well keep me out of your little schemes, I don't plan on breaking a nail any time soon, and whatever you're planning on I'm sure will cause more trouble than it's worth."

"Tch, as long as you stay out of my way and get me the information I need you won't have anything to worry about," Master Zen'in said and swiftly walked away.

He led her down the long hallway and straight out to a courtyard where a few other sorcerers stood. 

"We're going to go on a special assignment, no better way to test your abilities than to do so on the field," he said, and held his hand out over her head and muttered a spell under his breath.  His magic immediately wrapped around her and she gasped as it forced her body to shift, compressing her into a small golden pin.

"Perfect," he said with a grin and tossed the pin into the air as if it were a coin.  

Master Zen'in fought the complete opposite of how Kolþerna's first Master fought. Where her first Master often stood at a distance and kept everyone far away, Master Zen'in fought in close quarters. Excelled at it even. 

He was extremely fast, and many times his opponents never managed to land a hit. But demons were formidable foes, and the strongest ones could match him in speed. Whenever he did get hit, he'd use a unique spell to transfer all of the damage to one of his various Familiars without him feeling a thing, essentially using them as meat shields, and leaving himself completely unharmed. 

He liked the thrill of the fight, and employed various other techniques and spells to rip demons apart.

The spell he used the most he managed to pull off without uttering a word. It trapped its target in a near invisible magic circle that looked more like glass, and the second they moved, the target shattered into a million tiny pieces. 

It was powerful, and ruthless because it left behind a bloody mess, and no possible chance of recovery… 

***

"You're fighting quite carelessly, Master Zen'in," one of The Hei members in their current group said. 

They were a week into their mission, and Master Zen'in had already endured multiple close calls, but thanks to his spell,  he didn't need to suffer the damages from such carelessness… 

"I'm aware," Master Zen'in said,  and shoved one of his injured familiars, who took the form of a gray wolf to the side with his foot. "This is part of the plan," he insisted, and grabbed Kolþerna who was currently in her pin form on his jacket, and tossed her on the ground. 

She shifted to her cat form and looked up at the two witches with her ears down. 

"It looks pathetic, and weak, but it has immense potential, I know it. The only thing is we need to draw it out. It's long been rumored that a near death experience might trigger an awakening, and thanks to my friend, Shoko we know that it is true. She was nothing but a measly human before nearly dying, and now she's the most capable healer in the kingdom.

"So I thought that being put in constant danger might also do the same. However, it seems I have to try more drastic methods. This one here has the ability to form a barrier that is quite powerful. I want that knowledge," he said and pulled out a pocket watch. "Enough of that, the horde from the east, is it on its way, yet?"

"Yes Sir, we expect it to arrive any moment now, " as soon as he said that, the ground began to tremble, and a large amount of dark energy began to seep into the area.

"Perfect, go and capture what we need for the tests, leave the rest to me," Master Zen'in said.

The two Hei members bowed and retreated from the front lines, passing back through the battlefield that was already littered with a plethora of demonic corpses. 

Master Zen'in turned towards where Kolþerna sat and motioned to the horizon where a dark mass was quickly approaching.  

It looked like one clump, but the closer it got the easier it was to make out each individual hideous creature. Demons that fed on mana and consumed souls. They writhed as they approached in the moonlight, the stench of death tainting the air alongside their goulash cries. 

The closer the creatures got, the stronger the fear that had been steadily building up in her gut began to grow. 

"You will stay here," Master Zen'in commanded and stepped away.  "You will defend yourself, or die," he said and slowly began to back away.  

Her body froze, locked up by his command. Her Master was abandoning her?  Why would he do that? Didn't he know she wasn't a fighter? Why did he keep insisting? 

Hadn't he promised not to leave her? 

Her fear mixed with deep confusion before a strong wave of clarity swept over her mind.

Wait… no.  He never promised those things… it wasn't him, it was—

The horde collided into her, and she screamed. 

...

'How long do you want me to keep throwing rocks at you? Isn't it dangerous?'

'Hmm… it's not dangerous enough to be honest, but that's the point, Uta. I need to make sure this barrier is impenetrable. I will know it's perfect when nothing in this realm can break it.'

'Isn't it already though?'

'I need to make sure it lasts as well.'

'For how long?"

'As long as I feel it's needed, Utahime.' 

 …

The demons ripped and tore at the ground around her, but each attempt was rebuffed by that shimmering barrier that Kolþerna had no control over. 

It covered her like a dome, and showed no signs of wearing down.  

She was still panicking though. She knew she could cast a flame spell to push the creatures off of her, but she could not focus enough to gather her magic properly. 

Her mind was swirling… 

Uta… hime? Isn't that my name? Why is my memory so cloudy? Where is my Master? Didn't he promise he'd never leave me alone?  

She shook her head and curled up into a tighter ball.  No, no he didn't. He wants me to fight these horrible creatures!  

No he did! He promised! 

..

No, that wasn't Master Zen'in that was… that was… 

'Your name will be Kolþerna so long as I'm your Master, do you understand?'

.

 —you live in a castle now, and you sing and it's pretty— you'll be Utahime, if you wanna be.'

I'm Utahime… I wanna be Utahime! 

She was roughly grabbed by the scruff and lifted off the ground. The next thing she knew she was far away from the field on higher ground. 

"That is quite an amazing skill you have, if you don't share it with me willingly, I'll just have to take it from you by force," Master Zen'in threatened as he held her up to his face. 

Kolþerna— Utahime?  Flinched in his grip, "let me go!" She yelled without thinking, confused and frightened. She wasn't sure what she should be afraid of. Surely not her Master right? 

He threw her to the ground and put his flawless boot on her tail. "Watch your mouth, or I'll cut your tail off, would you like that?"

"No! I'm sorry!" She cried out, still so confused and disoriented.

"Hmph, listen up, I'm going to head down there. You will be my shield whether you block the attacks or absorb them, understand?" He said as he moved his foot off her. 

"I-I understand," she whispered, her head down. 

"Perfect," he said and jumped down into the mass of demons. 

Kolþerna– no –  Utahime changed to her human form so she could cast magic easier. She cast her best barrier spell to protect her Master every time he let a demon attack him.  However, the spell itself was just an average barrier spell taught to all Familiars and Witches at the castle, and could not withstand the constant attacks from the demonic creatures. 

The barrier would shatter within moments, and Master Zen'in would take the rest of the damage without flinching because he'd transfer the actual impact to Utahime directly. 

Every attack that Master Zen'in sent her way felt like it hit her from within, and she could not counter it. 

She gasped and stumbled back as another attack was transferred to her as it broke through her weak barrier. The force split open her face, cracking apart the bone and muscle before bursting open through cartilage and skin as if sliced with a blade or claw, and she screamed in pain as blood poured from the wound. 

She clutched her face and shook,  confused over whether she should heal herself or keep trying to cast a barrier to protect her Master. 

She was disoriented and her vision began to blur. It was too much.  She didn't have the mana available to cast stronger spells, not the way he thought she did. Couldn't he tell? Couldn't he see how weak she really was?  She never tried to lie and pretend she was more than she was. 

She was so worried, but the concern that she felt in her being felt strange and out of place. Was she really worried about her Master? Why wouldn't she be? She was supposed to be concerned for her Master's safety, wasn't she? 

So why was she so confused over it? 

"I-I can't do it! Please come back!" She screamed in desperation. 

In the blink of an eye, Master Zen'in appeared before her, and she was overwhelmed by a confusing mix of relief and dread. 

He looked angry, but she didn't understand why, but before she could utter a single word, he struck her so hard across the face right on her wound that she fell. She choked on another scream, and her vision blackened. 

"You are an embarrassment," he spat and kicked her side, then crouched down and grabbed her by the hair to drag her head up. "You continue to disobey me, I know you are capable, I saw it with my own eyes, yet you refuse to listen," he backhanded her again and she cried out as his knuckles smashed into her broken nose. "No wonder that idiot got rid of you," he grumbled. 

As soon as she hit the ground again he grabbed her by the hair once more and forced her to look down the cliff side at the horde of demons scratching at it. 

He held his other hand out over the edge and a clear circle of magic formed above the horde. A few seconds later an eerie quiet swept over the clearing as every demon gnawing at the cliff side froze. A beat later a sickening crunch echoed out across the clearing as every demon below suddenly erupted into a mass of blood and flesh, utterly destroyed by Zen'in Naoya's powerful spell. 

Sighing, he tossed her aside and swept her out of the way with his boot. "Heal yourself, I don't want blood on my jacket," he said as he walked away. 

Chapter Text

Utahime was still in pain by the time her contract with Naoya was over. She didn't have enough mana to heal herself properly, and Naoya didn't share his with her like Shoko or Gojo did. 

She still couldn't see straight and even had a limp when they returned to the castle. Naoya took samples of her blood and hair before literally kicking her out of his study and telling her to get out of his sight. 

Not knowing what else to do, Utahime hurried as fast as she could to Shoko's office. 

She was frightened that another witch might find her, and she was still a little disoriented due to the EM charm she'd been wearing. 

"S-Shoko?" Utahime whispered, her voice raspy from her injured vocal cords. "Are you here?" She nervously called out once she entered the medical ward. 

Shoko was working on another witch Utahime did not recognize, but as soon as Shoko looked at the doorway, she ran over to her. 

"Uta! Are you okay?!" Shoko asked as she knelt beside her.  

"I-I don't know," Utahime whispered and sniffled quietly, unable to keep the tears at bay. "I-I'm hurt, Shoko…" 

She frowned deeply and rushed over to her current patient. "You're going to be fine, here, no physical activities, and drink this once a day until it's gone," she said and shoved him out of the room. "Utahime, can you jump up here?" She asked as she prepared a fresh bed. 

"O-Ok," she said and jumped, but only ended up hitting herself against the bed frame's railing. She yelped in pain and curled up on the floor into a tiny ball, embarrassed and hurt.

"Oh, shoot," Shoko mumbled and carefully lifted her up onto the bed. "What did that bastard do to you?"

Utahime looked up, intending to tell her but all that came out was a miserable whimper. 

"Are you able to shift to your human form so I can check you better?" Shoko asked gently.  

Utahime nodded and shifted to her human form, but was unfortunately unable to hide her cry of pain as what was normally a quick and painless shift became near agony. "O-Ow!"

"Oh goddess," Shoko whispered and held her hands over her. "Uta…" 

"H-How bad is it?" Utahime whimpered.  

"Well… I have to realign some of your bones… I'm so sorry,  Uta… I didn't know he could just take you like that…" Shoko said. "I sent a letter to Gojo as soon as I could, but he probably wouldn't have gotten it until he made landfall…" Shoko said and hurried over to her cabinet and returned with a small vial. "Drink this. The potion will numb your body so I can heal you… I'll have to break your bones again to make sure you're healed properly… you shouldn't feel any pain."

Utahime bit her lip and slowly reached out to grab the vial. She didn't want Shoko to bother Gojo over this, surely he'd only be annoyed, hearing about her failures while he was on important missions… 

 She shook as she brought it up to her lips and accidentally spilled some on her dress as she drank.  The relief was still immediate, but unfortunately, she still felt pain when Shoko broke her collarbone in order to reset it properly. 

She cried out and covered her mouth with her hands to muffle the rest of her cries. 

"Shit, that should have worked, are you okay, Uta?" Shoko asked, her brows furrowed in concern. 

Utahime nodded and squeezed her eyes shut to try and hold back her tears. "Y-Yeah… I spilled some… I'm sorry…" 

"Dammit, I can get another potion for you, just give me a second, okay?  I'll be right back," she said and rushed over to rifle through her shelf.

Shoko returned with another small vial and held it for her as Utahime sipped at the bitter potion. "I tried to get you back sooner… I talked to His Majesty about it, but the spell has been approved by the courts… there's nothing I can do, I'm so sorry…"

The numbness in her body increased, and Utahime laid back with a relieved sigh as the pain began to fade to the back of her mind. Shoko began to work on her again, and Utahime closed her eyes as the exhaustion that had been constantly hanging over her finally pulled her to sleep. 

.

.

.

"You can't do that!"

"Of course I can."

"You already had your time with her!"

"Yes, and I am simply renewing it. See there is no limit to how many times I can override your measly contact."

"I won't allow it, she is still recovering! Her bones were misaligned!" 

"Are you not a healer? You should have fixed it then, now move."

"Oof…"

Utahime opened her eyes and sat up with a gasp from the scene in front of her. 

Shoko was in the middle of standing up off the floor, and Naoya was moving over to where Utahime was on the medical bed.

Utahime froze in fear when she saw his sharp eyes. She wanted to run, but she knew she shouldn't. She had to help Shoko.

So even though it hurt, Utahime still scrambled off the bed, intending to go to Shoko, but only ended up falling to the ground as Naoya grabbed her by the hair. 

"Where do you think you're going?" He demanded as he yanked her hair. 

Utahime cried out from the pain and transformed into her cat form to escape his hold. She rushed over to Shoko and put herself between them.  "A-Are you… okay Shoko?" Utahime asked quickly. 

Shoko nodded. "Yes, you shouldn't have moved,  Uta, you need rest." 

"But he pushed you!"

"Yes, she was blocking me from my property," Naoya said and snatched Utahime up by the scruff and she yelped in both surprise and pain. 

She wasn't a child anymore, and being held like that was uncomfortable, it didn't help that he had also done so very hard. 

"O-Ow!" She whined and twisted in an attempt to free herself.

"Hold still, wouldn't want to cause a scene now, would we? We might have a problem, " Naoya threatened as he tightened his grip. 

Shoko got back to her feet and grabbed a scalpel. "Put her down, Zen'in, or I'll—"

He laughed loudly in amusement. "Do what ,  exactly? I hope you're not trying to threaten me over this creature. We're friends, but there's only so much disrespect that I will tolerate."

"Just leave her alone! She still needs to recover," Shoko said through her teeth.  

"What more do you want!?" Utahime growled, and did her best to keep her voice from wavering because his grip on her was hurting. 

She was also a bit scared. She didn't like this man at all. He was worse than Shoko initially said, but Utahime didn't blame her. How would she have known? He didn't send his injured familiars to get healed… 

He let them heal themselves if they could, and if not… he let them waste away… 

Naoya tightened his grip on her to a point where it made her eyes tear up. "Watch your mouth, you will talk to me with the respect I deserve," he said in her ear, his breath uncomfortably hot on her fur. 

Utahime squirmed again, distressed, and frightened. She instinctively put a veil over her bond to protect Shoko from the pain she was feeling. She didn't want Shoko to get hurt. 

"Y-You shouldn't be touching me! I'm not yours!" Utahime snapped, and tried to squirm again, but he squeezed her so tight that he broke her skin.

Utahime cried out and tears filled her eyes. Before she could do much else he slammed her against the stone wall— except it wasn't stone anymore, whatever he had slammed her into felt weirdly cushiony.

"What the fuck?"

He yanked his arm away and turned her towards him.  "What did you do?— Argh!"

Someone suddenly grabbed him by the hair and yanked him backwards, forcing him to bend back awkwardly.  Naoya lost his balance as he wasn't flexible enough to maintain the bend, and he crumpled like paper.

A second later Utahime felt an insane rush of magical energy so chaotic that she choked on the heavy air that settled around her. 

Even though she should be frightened, terrified even, all she felt was relief. She knew who it was without needing to see.  She knew that energy better than her own… 

"G-Gojo!" Utahime whimpered, unbelievably relieved. 

"You have exactly two seconds to let go, or I'm going to tear your head off— one!" Gojo growled and yanked on Naoya's head. 

Naoya cursed and attempted to swing at him, but the angle was too awkward, so he tried to get up, but Gojo's grip on him was too strong. 

"Tw—"

Naoya threw Utahime out into the hall. She gasped and attempted to twist so she could land properly, but she was flying too fast,  as if he'd enchanted the throw.

She braced herself for impact, but was stopped in mid-air, the blanket of energy that surrounded her was soft and familiar. She knew it well… 

A beat later she was dropped to the floor as a large wolf tackled Gojo, knocking him away from Naoya. 

She landed on her paws and scurried closer to the two sorcerers, desperate to see if Gojo was okay. She hadn't seen him take a direct hit like that in years. The last time was even before they challenged The Crown. It just didn't happen, so to see it happen now terrified her. What happened? Why didn't he have his infinity up? 

Gojo managed to get to his feet and throw the wolf off, but his shoulder was bleeding profusely from the terrible bite he'd gotten in the process.

The wolf lunged at Gojo again, except this time it brutally slammed into Gojo's infinity barrier with a loud crack . It yelped in pain and collapsed in a heap. 

"What the devil is wrong with you?!" Naoya snapped. "Have you lost your mind?!"

Goio whirled on him with a rare, deep scowl on his face,  "You put your hands on my girls, so now you're on my shit list."

Naoya scoffed. "I can charge you for assault of a ranking officer! Even better, I can charge you for treason!"

Gojo just held his hand up and the ground beneath Naoya's feet cracked, but Naoya himself was unharmed. 

"What the fuck?" Gojo muttered to himself. 

Naoya laughed and flicked away a pin that was on his jacket.  "Try that again, I dare you."

The pin cluttered to the ground and transformed into a large eagle that was crumbled and broken, but it was still breathing,  albeit faintly. 

Utahime gasped and rushed forward, determined to spare another fellow familiar from an attack she knew would be devastating. "Don't, do it Gojo! He transfers all of the damage to his fami—"

Naoya kicked her aside.  "You so easily spill my secrets but resist revealing this bastard's secrets to me even when I command it?!"

Utahime yelped loudly in pain, her cry a loud squeak that echoed in the hall. She hit the wall hard, and whimpered in pain as a sickening crack echoed in her head. She wasn't sure if that was her rib or her skull, but she knew something was broken… 

 When she opened her eyes she gasped at the sight in front of her. 

Gojo had Naoya pinned to the floor, and from what she could tell, he had his hands around his neck…

Naoya was struggling, and thrashing, but Gojo wasn't even reacting to his attempts to escape. 

"You can't breathe through your Familiars, can you?" Gojo asked through his teeth with a wicked grin plastered across his face.  

The entire hallway began to creak and groan as the magic in the air continued to grow out of control. It was incredibly heavy, and even the marble started to crack, blanketing the area in dust.

"Gojo! Let him go!" Utahime yelled– tried to, but her voice was too weak, too shaky.

Worried, she ran over to him as fast as she could, ignoring the piercing pain from her injuries. "G-Gojo, please let him go!" Utahime tried again, barely above a whisper. 

She grew a bit frantic. She didn't want Gojo to intentionally kill anyone. He'd never purposely taken a life, Utahime had made sure to keep him from doing so during all of the duels they went through, and all those terrible missions over the years. 

She had patiently explained why even accidental or collateral death was something to mourn. 

She tried so hard to keep him restrained, to keep him calm and sensible so he wouldn't taint his soul. 

Naoya was turning purple when she finally got to them, and wasn't struggling much anymore. Not knowing what else to do, Utahime jumped on Gojo's shoulder and bit his cheek. 

As soon as she did so, the heavy bubble of magic around them popped, forcing the intense energy out in random directions. The entire hallway collapsed. 

Utahime gasped and braced herself for an impact that never came. Shocked, she looked around to see that they were encased in a layer of dust and debris, but it didn't actually touch them.

It had fallen over them in a small bubble… 

Infinity… 

Tense, Utahime looked up at Gojo and frowned in concern. His eyes were glowing, pulsing still with magic, but they looked wild, his pupils little pinpricks against a sea of vibrating blue… 

His cheek was bleeding from her bite, and the bone on his shoulder was exposed from the first attack he took from Naoya's Familiar, but he wasn't even reacting to the injuries. 

It was a little terrifying if only because she has never even considered what would happen if Gojo lost his grip without her being able to direct his energy into a calmer state. Now that it was happening, her worry only skyrocketed. 

Nobody knew how negatively that year of daily fighting affected him, everyone thought he came out of it unscathed, everyone but Utahime. 

She knew… how fragile his mental state could be,  how easily he could crack. Each fight had been intended as a fight to the death, but Utahime managed to convince Gojo to spare even the worst of their opponents.

She'd been trying to save his soul, but sometimes she wondered if sacrificing his mind had been worth it. 

Maybe she should have taken more of the burden onto herself. She would have if she knew how, if she could do it again…  

Gojo stood up and dug through the rubble and pulled out a coughing and bruised Naoya, he had him by the neck again, and didn't even seem phased by the weight. 

"Gojo, let him go, please ," Utahime begged and batted at his face.  

He didn't even blink, it was like talking to a wall, she couldn't even speak in his mind anymore… 

"You've fucked up, blondie!" Gojo growled, "You really did that right in front of me!  You must be stupid!!" He shook him like a doll, "Why else would you dare to put your hands on what isn't yours!?" 

Naoya coughed and weakly dug his nails into Gojo's hand— tried to, but he was rebuffed by Gojo's infinity spell.  

"She's—  actually mine now," Naoya wheezed out before Gojo tightened his grip on him to the point Naoya's face began to darken again. 

Gojo slammed him down against the rubble and Naoya went limp, but Gojo still didn't let go of him. 

"Let him go, please!" Utahime begged, and shifted to her human form to grab his arm. "Gojo!"

He glanced at her then did a double take when he saw her face. His eyes turned into saucers, and he finally dropped Naoya only to grab her face instead. "H-Hime?" He whispered shakily. "W-What— what happened to you?!"

Utahime glanced at his face and her breath hitched as his pupils slowly dilated as if he were in a dark room, the darkness nearly swallowed up the electric blue. A sharp contrast to how he looked just a moment ago. 

She caught sight of her reflection in his eyes, and she gasped and abruptly pulled away from him and covered her face. 

Her skin was so rough. She had a dark, ugly strip covering half of her face.  She hadn't properly seen the damage yet, and could only imagine how horrible it really looked based on how it felt and the glimpse she got in his eyes… 

Much to her dismay, Gojo pulled her hands away from her face. "What happened to you, Hime? Was it this bastard? Did he do this to you?? I'll kill him, I swear I'll fucking kill him! "

She hung her head. She didn't want to admit it because she was terrified. Not of him… strangely, even in his current state, she wasn't afraid of him.  She was afraid of what would happen to him if he really did kill Naoya like he threatened… 

"Please stop…" Utahime whispered. 

Gojo  swore under his breath and lifted her up in his arms and kicked Naoya hard in the ribs as he chambered off the rubble pile. He went straight to the infirmary, which was thankfully still intact, but the door was blocked by a pile of rubble. 

Gojo held his hand out to the pile and for the first time since he learned it as a kid,  Utahime heard him say the spell under his breath, Ao.

She sensed a surge of magic come from his wrists, and caught sight of a strange metal band under his coat cuff. She could tell it had some kind of enchantment, but she couldn't tell what it was exactly.  Perhaps some kind of magic tool… 

The pile of rubble trapping  Shoko inside the infirmary slowly lifted and he flicked his wrist to the side, tossing the pile randomly behind him to clear the way.

He wretched the door open and unceremoniously dropped Utahime on the nearest bed. Shoko was pacing the room with a cigarette in her mouth, and immediately rushed over to them.. 

There were multiple cigarettes on the ground, littering the tile floor. 

"Utahime! Are you okay?!" Shoko asked, her hands already glowing with white healing magic.

She nodded, "Yes, I just feel a little dizzy… Can you check Gojo first? And Naoya's Familiar… is he still outside?"

"I'm fine, and I'll look for the damn bird," Gojo said stiffly. "But first, you tell me what the fuck happened, Shoko, now."

She scoffed.  " You tell me! You're the one that collapsed the entire hallway! I'm shocked the medical ward stayed intact!"

"Don't do that to me! You know what I mean!   How the fuck did that asshole—" black coils suddenly wrapped around him like rope, and his eyes widened in surprise.  "What the—!" a deep red aura surrounded him, and a second later he started shaking as if he was getting electrocuted.

Utahime gasped in horror as at least ten sorcerers in uniform filed into the medical ward, followed by a few knights carrying enchanted weapons who promptly pointed them at Gojo's head. 

The red aura around Gojo brightened and he yelled in pain loud enough to make Utahime feel sick.

"Gahh!!"

She was frozen in terror. She has never heard him react like that to pain before in her life— hell he rarely got hurt in the first place, so to actually see it happen right in front of her while she was helpless to stop it? 

"S-Stop it!" Utahime screamed, "please! Stop! You'll kill him! Let him go!" She tried to rush over to them, but Shoko held her back.

"Uta, no, please! Keep your head down!" She whispered urgently.  

She couldn't. "Let him go! Please!" Utahime desperately begged. "P-Please!"

The dark red magic vanished and Gojo fell to his knees, gasping. A few strands of his hair stuck up slightly, charged by the terrible shock he received. His body was trembling, as if enduring after shocks of pain… 

"So the god does feel pain, how disappointing," a woman in a dark, extreme low cut dress said as she slipped into the room. She reminded Utahime of Mei mei, but she had dark hair and sharper features. But she gave off a no less unpleasant aura. 

The woman bent over to reach for Gojo, and her breasts spilled out of her dress. Utahime lashed out. 

"Don't touch him!" Utahime growled without thinking as anger began to swell in her chest. She didn't recognize this woman, but she already hated her. 

The woman turned to her and grinned unnaturally wide, her thick, rounded eyebrows raised high on her head. "Oh? Are you a stray? How entertaining! Why not? He's our prisoner now, do you wish to join him?" She asked and laughed loudly.  

"She doesn't! We're very sorry, Lady Yorozu," Shoko said and bowed, and whispered under her breath,  " Utahime, shift to your cat form and keep your head down!"

She hadn't compelled her, but Utahime listened anyway because of how tense Shoko sounded. She moved to hide by Shoko's ankles, but kept her eyes on the strange woman. 

"It's all right! I mean, I can barely contain myself too! When they told me I'd get the honor of confronting our kingdom's strongest sorcerer, the rumored god in the flesh, I was absolutely thrilled!" Yorozu said as she leaned down and snuck her hand under Gojo's shirt. "I mean, after all, just look at him! Everyone says he's untouchable! Clearly, he's not!" She laughed and moaned inappropriately as she rubbed his chest.

Utahime felt sick, watching this woman do this to him without any repercussions. Nobody around her batted an eye! She was offended for him, disgusted by her shameless state of dress and behavior. Utahime wanted to lash out at that woman,  she wanted to punch her in the face. 

She attempted to move forward to object again, but Shoko held her down. 

"No!" Shoko whispered harshly. 

Yorozu grabbed Gojo's face and slowly licked him from his cheek to his lips. 

He immediately spat in her face. 

Utahime gasped in horror as Yorozu flinched back, and straightened with a laugh. She made a show of licking her lips only to start coughing a beat later. 

"Wh—What did you—?" She clutched at her neck and stumbled back as a layer of ice covered her mouth and one of her eyes. 

The other sorcerers rushed to Yorozu to try and help her, but she snapped her fingers and melted the ice, before summoning the red aura once more and shocking Gojo again, much stronger than before. 

"Argh!!" 

Gojo's scream of agony shook Utahime to the core. She was so horrified that tears were flooding her eyes.  This time Yorozu continued to shock him until even her own people grabbed her arms. 

"We have instructions to take him to the dungeons, His Majesty wants him alive," they said under their breaths. 

"Hmph!" She flipped her hair and finally cut the spell off, and Gojo crumbled to the floor. She huffed and pointed to Shoko just as a few knights carried Naoya in the medical ward. "Heal him, or I'll shock your friend here until his brain melts. Then I'll make it into soup and drink it in front of you!"

Shoko bit her lip and slowly shuffled over to Naoya's unconscious form. She healed him quickly, and when she was done the group finally left, but unfortunately they dragged Gojo with them.

Utahime couldn't stop sobbing, and when she looked up at Shoko, she also had tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"This is… so fucked up," Shoko whispered as she  wiped her eyes. "Why did he have to do that? He made it worse for himself…" 

"W-Who is that woman?" Utahime asked, both distraught and furious.

"She's one of the twenty five elite Hei members… she's arguably worse than Naoya… Naoya at least has genuine respect among sorcerers in the castle… but Yorozu isn't liked by anyone… she only has the position she does because of how strong she is," Shoko said with a sigh. 

Utahime sniffled softly and wiped her tears on her paws. She officially hated that woman more than Mei mei.

Mei mei had been their hardest opponent, she'd actually been their very last battle. Master Yaga was supposed to be their final fight, but he'd refused outright, and was consequently severely punished for it… he lost his rank and was publicly dishonored and shamed.  

Mei mei had stepped up to fill in the spot… 

She didn't fight fair, and actually managed to gravely hurt Gojo by separating them and attacking Utahime directly instead. She used Utahime like an effigy against Gojo, and had been the main reason Utahime decided to work on proper barriers to block their connection.

At one point, Utahime thought Mei mei was going to kill her, but even so, that strangely wasn't why she disliked the witch so much. It was because of how close she'd gotten to making Gojo surrender… 

It was because she'd gotten captured, it was because she was weak, he could have ended the battle much sooner if he ignored her, but he hadn't. 

Mei mei had used a special substitution spell to switch the places of Utahime and one of her crows, then she broke her arm… 

Utahime could still remember the way horror had rushed through her veins after she suddenly screamed from the pain. To this day she wasn't sure if that deep fear had been hers alone or not, because she didn't like to dwell on the memory. 

The broken way Gojo had called for her was also something she didn't like to think about. 

N-No! Uta! Let her go! Give her back to me!

But Mei mei had only laughed and twisted her broken arm harder, causing Utahime to scream some more.  Only if you surrender, darling!

Utahime had begged him not to, even through her pained cries. It wasn't worth it!  Surrendering meant losing, and losing meant Gojo would belong to the crown forever. Losing meant their control over him would tighten,  losing meant he'd never be free. Utahime would have rather died than be the reason he lost his chance at freedom after coming so close to victory. 

The pain that had been in his voice back then was only topped now by the way he'd screamed from the pain Yorozu had put him through… 

Utahime knew it would stay in her nightmares for a very long time… 

"What are they going to do with him?" Utahime asked Shoko, still unable to speak louder than a whisper. 

"I really don't know… unfortunately, Naoya was right. He could charge Gojo with treason since he attacked him first… the only thing I might be able to do is try and convince His Majesty that he was protecting me because Naoya attacked me… but he only pushed me… that will be stretching the truth, and that could backfire on me," Shoko said as she dug in her pocket for a cigarette. 

Utahime wanted to ask her not to smoke another one, but he held her tongue.  She felt like she had asked too much of Shoko already… 

"What I don't understand though, is how in the hell did he get caught so easily? I thought things couldn't touch him? How'd he let that magic tool get a hold of him?" Shoko asked as she held her cigarette out to Utahime. 

She bit her lip and reluctantly lit the cigarette for her.  "I… don't really know… I'm a little confused as well," Utahime whispered and took a deep breath. "I'm… afraid," she said and hung her head. "I think my presence here is only causing trouble for everyone… maybe I should run away… if you break our contract… I can escape and—"

Shoko shook her head and took a long drag from the cigarette.  "And go where, Uta? You know it's dangerous out there for unbonded Familiars… anyone can grab you and force you into a contract…"

Utahime turned to look out the window. The sky reflected her mood. It was gray and dreary… It looked like a storm was brewing as well. "I'm sure there's somewhere far away enough that I could go… I could wear a cloaking sigil to hide my mana and disappear in the mountains…" 

"That's dangerous though… the amount of demons living in the wilds have been increasing exponentially over the last few years… if they catch you… you'll be a goner…" Shoko said. 

Utahime wanted to argue that would probably be the best outcome, but she dropped the topic. Her body was still so sore, and she felt too weak and stressed out to think properly. All she really wanted was to go see Gojo… 

She wanted to know if he was okay. She needed to make sure they weren't torturing him. 

She felt so helpless… 

She hated it. 

No matter what she tried, Utahime couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned for hours until the moon was high in the sky, but she couldn't sleep a wink. 

She knew it was a terrible idea, she knew she was still in recovery after sustaining so much damage, but despite the risks, Utahime still snuck out of Shoko's room once she was sure she was asleep. 

She scurried as fast as she could through the castle halls, keeping to the shadows to blend into the darkness. 

It was dangerous, she knew that, but a shameful part of her wanted to believe that Gojo had come back as soon as he did because he was worried about her. And even though she knew that couldn't be the case, even though she knew it had only been a case of happenstance, she wanted to believe he'd somehow known she needed him… 

 And even though she knew there was absolutely nothing she could do to help him, she wanted him to know she still cared… 

Far too much… 

Utahime rushed straight down to the depths of the castle, snuck her way past all of the wards that were set up to detect mana fluctuations. 

She'd become a master of hiding away, and used that skill to slip past undetected until she found the dark cell that they'd carelessly thrown Gojo into. 

Even though the dungeons were near pitch black, Utahime could still see in the dark, and as soon as she saw him, she gasped in shock. He still had the dark binds wrapped around him, and he was laying down in what smelt like a puddle of his own blood.

"G-Gojo?" She dared herself to whisper, afraid to alert anyone of her presence, terrified he wouldn't respond… 

A few dreadful beats of silence passed by before he shifted slightly and she heard him groan in pain. "H-Hime?" He whispered, his voice rough. 

"Yes! I'm here, it's me!" Utahime whispered and got as close to the cell as possible without triggering the wards placed on the cold metal bars. 

He coughed and weakly pushed himself closer to the bars,  his face partially illuminated by the sliver of moonlight that peeked in through the tiny window. 

When he spoke again, his voice was soft,  "How— How you feeling, kitten?"

She wanted to cry! Why was he asking her that!? More importantly, why was he joking in a time like this?! "I-I'm fine! What about you? What happened? Why haven't you broken out of here yet?!"

"Calm down, I'm… in a bit of a bind," he murmured before flashing her a grin. "Literally."

Utahime wanted to yell at him, but she just couldn't.  "Those ropes… are they blocking your mana? I can't really sense it right now…" 

"Crafty little things, hm? Don't worry…I'll be fine," he said, even though his voice shook as he spoke. Even though Utahime could see the dried blood on his face… even though she could tell he was in pain… 

"I'll help you then!" Utahime whispered and took a step back to reexamine the wards. "Maybe I can try to—"

"Let me see you, Utahime… I want to see what that bastard did to you," he whispered softly. "I know it was him… don't worry… I promise I'll make him pay."

Utahime frowned and instinctively angled her face away from him, even though her hideous scar was less visible in her cat form.  

"Please?" He added much softer.

She was mortified that her face flushed from hearing the soft way he said that. He was hurt, and here she was still, after trying so hard to ask for forgiveness, still she reacted so shamefully.  

Not knowing what else to say aside from angry protests that she just didn't have the heart to give, she shifted into her human form, and laid down on the cold stone the way he was so he wouldn't need to strain himself to look at her. 

Utahime kept her eyes closed, and she was glad for it because he remained silent, and that only twisted her nerves into an ugly ball deep in her gut.

She'd gotten to look at her horrible scar once Shoko went to sleep, and she spent an hour staring at it and crying. 

It was a miracle that Shoko managed to straighten her nose, but the scar was so dark and prominent that it was all Utahime saw when she looked at her reflection. 

At least in her cat form the scar was not as visible, at least in that form it didn't look as ugly. 

At least—

"Stars, I really missed your face…" Gojo murmured, making her heart shamefully skip.

"Wh-What?? Why would you—? Don't say that!" Utahime whispered through her teeth,  confused, flustered, and angry at her shameful reaction. "I look terrible!" She blurted without thinking, "you shouldn't be joking around!"

He pushed himself closer to the bars until his forehead was pressed right up against them. He smiled, that same sweet, annoying smile that she grew to love over the years. The same smile that she saw in her best dreams… 

 " There's my little spitfire, what happened to you, Hime? Where have you been?" He murmured softly. 

Utahime cursed herself as her cheeks warmed once again. It just wasn't fair. Why did he have to talk to her like that? "What do you mean? I've been here…"

He closed his eyes and sighed quietly. "You know…"

She frowned and bit her lip. Even though she wasn't 100% sure, he was right. She knew… "I was… just wearing a charm that was supposed to regulate my emotions… I was afraid of…" I was afraid of hurting Shoko… "of annoying Shoko…" She said instead.  "I just didn't realize how strong it was…"

"Mh…"

Despite knowing she shouldn't do it, Utahime was unable to stop herself from reaching out to him. Careful not to trip the ward, she snuck a finger up and gently rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

It was a mistake. 

Because as soon as she did it a heavy wave of both sorrow and longing rushed out of her traitorous heart and into her lungs, making it difficult for her to breathe without trembling. 

"A-Are you going to be okay?" She asked in a whisper. "How long are they going to keep you here? What did they do to you? Did they hurt you more?"

He looked at her again with that same lovely smile.  "I'll be fine, Hime… there's no need to worry over me anymore." 

She scoffed and sat up,  newly determined to get him out… somehow. "Don't be stupid! Of course there is! We're— we're still friends… right, Gojo? You said…" she flushed in embarrassment when she remembered the way he scolded her for being so informal on the staircase.

What was she thinking?! He was severely injured right now and wasn't in the right state of mind! Yet here she was getting all sappy over him yet again! As if nearly killing him hadn't taught her well enough… 

"Of course… If you— if you wanna be," he murmured. 

Of course she wanted to be his friend! She wanted him to take her back! She wanted to go home, she wanted to go back to the shop! 

Her eyes filled with tears as she pushed herself to her feet so she could examine the wards to see if there were any weak spots or errors.

She wanted to be his familiar again, she wanted him to go back to pulling her tail and flicking her ears. She wanted to go back to their busy days, and quiet nights by the fireplace. 

She wanted to make him sweets again, she wanted to make him juice on sundays… 

She wanted him to laugh at her and ask her to help him with annoying tasks… 

The tears began to stream down her face as her wants invaded her psyche. 

She wanted to go back in time and stop herself from drinking that night, because if she had stayed sober, she never would have done what she did. 

If she had stayed sober, she would have never admitted to such a horrible sin, she would have never acted on it… 

Would she have still gotten him sick? Would she have still tainted their bond if she hadn't made such an awful mistake that night?

If she had known what a disaster her life would turn into, she would have kept her head down and never ever allowed any of her sinful thoughts to see the light of day… 

If only she'd known… 

He's not in the right state of mind, she told herself again with a sigh and angrily wiped her eyes clear. She needed to stop wasting time and get him out of here.

If she couldn't help him now, she'd never forgive herself. If she could redirect the energy surrounding the warding charms keeping him locked away, then he could escape and find out how to free himself from those damned binds. 

This was what she was good at, redirecting magic.  She could do it, she knew she could. 

Steeling herself, Utahime held her hands up to the wards and closed her eyes. 

"Don't, Uta… it's fine," Gojo quietly said. 

Utahime ignored him.  

She had a very limited pool of mana of her own, and already she could tell this task would completely drain her energy, but if she did it right, she could do it, and if she was lucky, she wouldn't alert any alarms or traps… 

Utahime whispered the spell under her breath, like a mantra. It was slow, and even though she wanted to rush it, she remained calm and steady, determined to succeed. 

Her mana quickly drained as the wards began to clatter to the floor, and right when she was on the last bit of her mana, the last ward fell. 

Utahime gasped and stumbled forward to open the cell, but it was still locked.  She nearly cried in despair. "Dammit! I-I didn't even think of this," she put her hand over the lock and closed her eyes as she searched herself for even a drop of mana. 

She just needed a little more… just a drop… 

"Aperio…" she whispered and shivered as blood filled her mouth, a consequence of overdoing it.  

The door opened and she rushed over to him. "Can you walk?"

He just grunted and weakly got to his feet. Utahime helped him as best she could, but as soon as she got him out of the cell, she stopped. 

There were guards at the top of the dungeons, and she didn't think he was in well enough condition to climb through a window should they even find one big enough. 

"Uta… I dropped my quill near the steps… do you… can you look for it?" He asked as he leaned against the wall. 

She nodded and rushed over to look for a feather of some sort by the dungeons steps. It only took her a few moments to find a lone feather forgotten on the stone steps, and as soon as she touched it,  it glimmered and warped into a sword, the one all sorcerers were given when they first joined the army. 

Utahime gasped and rushed over with it, knowing exactly what he wanted her to do. These swords were powerful enchanted weapons that could defend against most beasts without need of using a spell. 

Hopefully, she could use it to cut through his binds.

As soon as he saw her rush over with the sword, a grin took over his face.  "Oh, that's my girl! I knew you'd find it, go on,  cut me free, don't worry if you nick me."

Utahime's heart was racing, and her cheeks were warm as she carefully slipped the blade under the ropes. The binds were far sturdier than they seemed, but the blade was still able to cut through the fabric, even if it was incredibly difficult. 

"You're doing great, Hime," Gojo whispered… right in her ear.

She was ashamed that she blushed. "Shh!" She whispered harshly, still nervous about being caught. 

Finally she cut through one of the layers and he just had to say something.

"Perfect, you're doing great, just a bit more, and I can take over, kay?" He murmured. 

Her face warmed… 

The shame returned full force and she grit her teeth. Something really was wrong with her. Why else would she react this way when they were in such a dangerous scenario??

She was actually shocked by her own audacity.  

Utahime whispered a quick prayer to the goddess and carefully cut through the second rope, giving Gojo just enough leeway to grab the sword himself.  

He gripped the hilt over her clammy hands and she yelped and wriggled her hands free before jumping a good yard away.  

He chuckled and cut through the remaining ropes in less than ten seconds. "So jumpy all of a sudden," he said and stepped out of the ropes. He used the end of the sword to scratch a magic circle in the ground and whispered a spell under his breath. A soft white light began to emit from the circle, and he stepped into the center and let out a sigh of relief. 

A healing spell, she recognized by both the sigils of the magic circle and the feeling of the mana that came from it. It was strange, she wasn't used to seeing him fully cast spells this way. Using sigils, magic circles, and reciting the spells were all things he hadn't done since he was a kid.  

What happened? 

"I've got to get something else they confiscated from me," he said as he half heartedly straightened his clothes.  "Meet me in the courtyard?" 

Despite not really knowing why, she agreed with a silent nod and turned to leave, only to be stopped when he lightly grabbed her hand. 

"Thank you, you didn't have to…" he whispered as he gently rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. 

Utahime instinctively pulled her hand away, unable to withstand any contact with him. "I did," she whispered and hurried away to the only courtyard she knew he could have possibly wanted her to go… 

…

Utahime sat in a flower bush curled up as tightly as she could to stay hidden, just in case a sorcerer had caught wind of what she'd done. 

Her heart was racing despite how still she was. She had no idea what she was doing anymore. She shouldn't be here. She should have returned to Shoko's room before things got ugly, yet here she was hiding under a bush because Gojo told her to wait for him… 

What am I doing?... 

A few minutes later someone smoothly grabbed her from under the bush and lifted her in the air. She squeaked in alarm only to get squashed against a firm chest. 

"Oof—" typically, her instinct was to struggle and escape, but that urge didn't take root. She had no fight or flight instincts kick in, and a beat later, she knew why… 

"Sorry for keepin' you, Utahime," Gojo said with a quiet laugh.  He sighed quietly and nuzzled his face into her fur. "I ran into a bit of an issue…"

"What? Did they find out you escaped?" Utahime asked in concern. 

"Eh, just a few guards… they're taking a long nap now, don't worry, I just had to make it look convincing, " he said. 

"What are you going to do now?" Utahime asked warily. 

He tightened his grip on her. "Well… I'm not really sure…" he whispered as he gently traced his finger over her scar. "I kinda want to blow these bastards up—"

"No!" She whispered harshly and shifted to her human form so he could see her expression better. She was worried he wouldn't take her seriously if she argued with him about this in her cat form. "You can't!"

He slid his arm around her waist and yanked her against his chest.  "I can, Utahime… if you want me to."

" No , I don't want you to," she insisted, concerned that if they caught him again, they would do worse than lock him up… 

He cupped her face and gently traced his thumb over her scar. "Does it hurt, Hime?"

"Only a little bit…" she whispered. It was actually quite painful still, but she couldn't do anything about it now. Once she got back to Shoko's, she could probably take another numbing potion so she could try and sleep… 

He frowned and tightened his grip on her waist. "I'm so sorry…" 

"What for?" Utahime asked curiously, 

He grimaced. "You're hurt… I thought you'd be safe here… what happened to you? Aren't you still bonded to Shoko? How did that loser get his hands on you?"

"I am… but Naoya found out a way to temporarily amend our contract whenever he wants…"

"What? How?"

"He said it was just like a normal paper contract or law… he can use the spell to alter a contract between a witch and a familiar that way thanks to our bonds being tied to paper contracts now…" Utahime explained.  

His frown deepened and he slowly shook his head. "Dammit… I'm sorry, Hime… I had no idea… I won't let him get away with this."

"It's okay, it's not your fault, please don't do anything rash! Just… let it go, please," Utahime insisted. She didn't want him to blame himself for something that wasn't his fault. There was no way for him to have known. Even Shoko was shocked by it… 

"I can't just let it go because he won't… If I'd have known… I wouldn't have—" He tightened his hold on her just a bit harder and cursed under his breath. "Utahime… let's go home, let me take you home," he said suddenly.  

Utahime pulled away from him and stared up at him in shock. "W-What?" She couldn't have heard him right, she couldn't have—

 He frowned and bit his lip. "I want to— D-Do you wanna go home, Hime? We can go now… I'll keep you safe… I promise… I swear you won't ever hurt again."

Her traitorous heart leapt to her throat. Yes! She wanted to go home so badly. She still missed him so much… but… she knew she couldn't.

She'd only get him sick again… 

"I— what about Shoko? I can't just—"

"She'll understand, we can burn that stupid contact of yours and—"

"I can't," Utahime cut in quickly, afraid that if Gojo got carried away, she wouldn't be able to change his mind. 

His eyes widened. "What? Why?"

"I—" She tried to step away, overwhelmed by the sudden emotion swirling within her, but he didn't let her. 

"Why, Hime?" He repeated in a whisper.

"W-We're not compatible, Gojo… bad things will happen if—"

"What do you mean? Of course we are! You were mine for twenty years! We can make it work again, I should have never let you go, I'll be better, I'm sorry, I can—"

"We can't!" Utahime yelled and shook her head as she tried to push him away, but he still didn't budge– damn him– she was going to cry… 

When he spoke again, his voice was so soft that she could no longer hide her tears…

"W-Why?" 

Utahime squeezed her eyes shut so she wouldn't have to look at him, but it didn't help. Her mind was already torturing her with the image of his pretty blue eyes, wide and filled with hurt. "B-Because… I… I'll get you sick again…" she whispered just as softly. "I'll kill you… you'll die because of me… I would never forgive myself if I let that happen to you… I was nearly corrupted, Gojo…I should be dead right now…"

He scoffed. "Fuck,  Shoko wasn't supposed to tell you that!" He snapped angrily. 

Utahime finally let herself look at him again,  because his anger was safer for her heart… "Don't blame her! It was an accident! But… I needed to know…" his anger was safer… "Why didn't you tell me, huh? Don't you think I should have known I was killing you?!" She snapped and attempted to shove him again.  

He wasn't phased. "You didn't need to know! It wouldn't have helped anything!"

She weakly hit his chest.  "It would have! I would have— I would have asked you to break our bond sooner!" She snapped as she shoved him again.

This time he loosened his hold on her. "What? No you wouldn't have!"

"Yes I would have! Do you really think I want you to die! No!" Utahime yelled as a fresh wave of tears flooded her vision. "N-No! I don't… I—" 

I love you too much… too much…!

"I-I would rather never see you again!" She added as harshly as she could, even though it mostly sounded like pathetic sobs. 

"Hime…"

She shook her head and covered her face with her hands. "I-I was killing you… and… and I'll do it again… we're just not compatible… we just aren't… " she whispered between her sad attempts to quiet her cries. 

"Ugh, don't say that, Hime… I'm sure we can find out what was going on and—"

She panicked. "No! There's nothing to find out! We're simply bad matches, Gojo! Why don't you understand?!"

He laughed softly, as if in disbelief. "It's okay… you weren't in pain, right? And I felt well enough when you made that medicine for me… it can work… you can just make that for me once a week and—"

" No!  Are you serious?" Utahime asked in shock. "We don't know if it'll get worse! We don't know if—"

"It only got worse when we fought!" He cut in quickly. "So— so let's not fight… just… I just want— don't you want to come home, Hime? I can remodel the shop for you if you like the castle decor that much… w-whatever you want! We can move even… 

"Do you want to move somewhere else? Is that it? We can do that!  We can look for those paintings… your favorites from the Places From Afar series… We can start today! We don't even have to go back to the shop, we can just leave it behind— I-I just… I want you to come home, Hime… I miss you…"

Her heart was in pieces. 

She couldn't stop crying. It was too much. Hopefully Shoko would believe her if she blamed it on her pain… 

But what really broke her were the tears in his eyes… Last time… she thought it was because of her that he'd shed tears… 

Why did he look so devastated now? Did he really miss her that much? Even though she had been so horrible to him? 

He really wants me to come home?...

As much as she wanted to agree, she knew it was too selfish. To put him in a constant state of pain and sickness just to try and go back to their old life? It would never work! It was impossible… the only way that could do that was if—

Utahime clutched at his coat and silently begged him to agree— prayed that he would. "I'll come home— only if you wipe my memories, Gojo."

His whole body tensed. "W-What??"

"Erase my memories! I know you can do it… so erase mine… erase mine and I'll come home," Utahime said as she blinked the last of her tears away. This was her last hope. He'd have to wipe all of them though… it was the only way to ensure she couldn't taint him again… 

"How… how much?" He asked as his bright eyes searched her face as if he were trying to memorize her. 

Utahime wanted to hide her face away, but she held his gaze. She needed him to know how serious she was. " Everything , take everything away, Gojo… please."

His eyes widened further, allowing her to see a glimpse of her hideous face in the small reflection. "E-Everything?" 

"Yes, everything, everything from the start," she grabbed his hand and put it on her head. "Get rid of it all… make me a clean slate and— and take me to a temple to have them cleanse me… then… please… take me home."

And this time I'll be good… I swear… I'll be good… 

He slowly slid his hand down to cup her cheek instead. "And… if I don't?"

She bit her lip and tightened her grip on his coat. "I-If you don't… I want to stay here with Shoko…"

He closed his eyes briefly, and when he looked at her again he looked so unbelievably hurt. "But you won't even know me,  Utahime…" 

"That's okay… just—"

"It's not okay, Hime! You would rather throw away everything we've been through together than let me deal with a little pain?!" He asked. 

All she could think about was the agony Yorozu put him through… 

"Y-Yes!"

Hurt flashed across his face. "Why?!"

"Because I— I-I— because I just can't bear it… I can't bear the thought of you hurting because of me…" 

He pursed his lips and ran his hands through his hair. "Then I can't do it… I can't do that to you, Hime…"

It was her turn to demand answers, "W-Why?!" She whispered, devastated. 

"Because you don't really want that."

She did though! She wanted him to take her back!  "Wha—? Yes I do! Please, Gojo!  I want to forget everything!"  Utahime begged as she absently began to straighten his clothes.  "P-Please… it's the only way it can work… I know it'll work… you can mold me into the perfect familiar!"

He looked up at the sky while she nervously fussed with his coat and hair, both needing something to do with her hands and giving in to the need to make him a bit more presentable. 

She even allowed herself to lick her thumb so she could rub some dried blood off his cheek… 

In the back of her mind she knew she shouldn't be doing this, but that was just more proof that her memory really needed to go. 

She was wired incorrectly. She was tainted. If he erased everything and had her cleansed then surely she'd be good then… 

He sighed heavily and slowly pushed her away, and the shards of her heart turned to dust. 

"G-Gojo?"

He gently grabbed her hands and pulled them off his collar. "Is that really what you want, Utahime? You wanna forget me?"

"It's… it's the only way I can ever come home," she whispered.

He closed his eyes for a few beats and slowly shook his head. "I can't do that… I'm sorry," he murmured and gently squeezed her hands. "Don't worry though… I won't let anyone hurt you again… I swear it," he murmured and much to her shock, he pressed a soft kiss on her cheek, right over her scar. 

Utahime shuddered as his magic swept into her, soothing over her scar and softening the tight skin, healing her further than she'd been already.

She didn't know what to do with herself, and could only stand there in shock, too afraid to move, lest she do something she'd regret more than her current deepest regret… 

"You can still see it…  I'm sorry," he murmured softly, giving her goosebumps with how pleasantly warm each word felt against her skin.

"You're— You're so annoying, why can't you just— w-why can't you heal it normally?" Utahime whispered, repeating something she used to say every now again what felt like a lifetime ago… 

"Mh… you still have to do your part, Hime," he murmured softly, his nose gently brushing against hers… 

Her heart somehow still had the energy to try and jump out of her throat. "I-It's not… it's not the same Gojo!" Utahime squeaked, breathless and confused. "It's not going to work! We're not—"

"I know… but you'll still do it for me, right Hime?"

She shut her eyes tightly and hesitantly tilted her face up. She knew she shouldn't do it, she knew she was breaking so many rules, but even still… he was right. She'd do it for him… because he asked it of her… 

As softly as she possibly could, Utahime pressed a small kiss right on his cheek, over the same spot her scar was. And just to help justify it, she sent whatever little mana she had regained into him so she could try and convince herself it was a sad attempt to heal wounds he may not even have anymore… 

She felt him smile, and she wanted to cry all over again. 

"Go back to Shoko now," Gojo said as he stepped away. "Wait until she wakes up, and tell her to stay in her room until noon, do not make a sound, and stay away from the window," he said and pressed two fingers against her forehead. 

"What are you going to do?" Utahime asked quickly, a bit frantic. 

She felt another pulse of energy sweep through her, and her heart began to race from the adrenaline rush it gave her. 

"You're going to do something stupid, aren't you? Whatever it is, please don't!" Utahime begged. 

"Go with the wind, straight to your Master. Draw the curtains when you arrive. Only when the bell tower's final ring sounds at noon will you dare to venture out of the room. You will not speak until you get to her," he murmured and firmly pushed her away. "Go, and do not look back."

Utahime felt the magic cut off and she bit her lip and reluctantly transformed to her cat form. She had no idea what he was going to do, but she knew disobeying him now wouldn't be good. Especially if he wanted her to hide out with Shoko.

He'd just put some kind of spell on her, and she didn't want to risk breaking it just in case something bad came of it.

So she ran as fast as she could to return to Shoko's room, and even though she desperately wanted to, she didn't look back. 

Chapter Text

Utahime's words continued to repeat in Satoru's head, again, and again, and again even after she left. 

Please, Gojo!  I want to forget everything!

He was a little devastated by it if he was being honest with himself. Utahime wanted to forget him, their history, everything…  

She would rather forget me than come home with me… 

Why did that mess him up so much? 

It's the only way I can ever come home…

Maybe he should have accepted her request… 

He was honestly kind of regretting that he didn't do it. If he did, they'd be on their way home right now… or anywhere for that matter… anywhere but here. He should have accepted her request. Why hadn't he? He has thought about doing that before, erasing her memory… but he never considered erasing everything… 

Satoru sighed and absently fussed with the annoying device attached to his wrist. It was uncomfortable and clunky, but it helped him cast spells with a bit more accuracy than without it… 

It was just a test product he came across while overseas and volunteered to try out because he was getting nowhere fast when it came to managing the overflow of his magic. It was supposed to be a more compact alternative to a typical mana focusing device, and it helped… barely. 

P-Please… it's the only way it can work… I know it'll work… you can mold me into the perfect familiar!

"You've always been perfect to me, Utahime…" he mumbled to himself as he absently trudged through the courtyard. 

Utahime had asked him not to do it, but he just didn't understand why. The Zen'in bastard had to go. There was no way that Satoru looked at it that made sense allowing him to live. 

Especially if Utahime wanted to stay here with Shoko. 

She wanted to stay with Shoko, and he had promised to keep her safe, the only way he could keep that promise was getting rid of the blondie.

"It's a reasonable sacrifice," he mumbled to himself and drew his sword and started to drag it behind him in the dirt. His path seemed random on the outside, but he had a goal in mind.

The issue was he didn't think he could get close enough to get his hands on the bastard again, so he'd have to try a different approach. It was a little reckless… potentially deadly, but that was exactly why he took safety precautions.

The spell he put on Utahime would hold, he knew it would, and he trusted that she would stay put like he said.  

Utahime had said Naoya used a spell to transfer the physical damage he received to his familiars…to a point. 

Satoru didn't know how many familiars the bastard had, but it didn't really matter. They wouldn't be the only sacrifices… 

He would try and spare as many people as he could, but the only two he really cared about were already safe, so it wasn't a top priority. 

"There will be quite a lot of collateral…" he mused.

It was necessary though. 

If he didn't do this, Utahime wouldn't be safe. What he feared had already begun to play out because he'd been careless. People were after her because of her association with him. 

It was fine though, he'd make things right. There was a possibility that this spell would backfire on him, but he was taking necessary precautions so he wasn't concerned.  Even if it did severely backfire— oh well. 

Satoru walked a full circle around the castle grounds, dragging the blade of his sword behind him the whole way. 

He didn't understand why Utahime wanted him to spare the bastard that hurt her. Yeah it was a loss of life, but surely his wasn't worth saving. 

Still… he was going to try and be diplomatic, for Utahime's sake. But he was only going to give the old fossil one chance. 

Satoru followed the pattern in his head all night, making sure not to miss a single turn. He finished the last engraving on the ground at around ten in the morning, giving him plenty of time just in case everything went to shit. He hid his sword away and made the hand signs needed to cast infinity then quietly whispered the spell under his breath; Mugen

He could only maintain the spell now as long as he didn't need to cast anything else. It was inconvenient, but these were the cards he had been dealt. Yeah he could always practice on his own, which he tried. When he had the time. 

He snuck into the castle and casually waved at the few knights he passed. The poor bastards apparently didn't realize he got out yet, but he didn't blame them. 

The ones that patrolled the halls were usually pretty low in rank, and potentially didn't even know what he looked like. Even if they did, sometimes the best disguise was confidence. So he cheerily said good morning to those that looked a bit too long, and even though one eventually froze and ran off when he saw him, Satoru let him go. 

It wasn't worth dropping his infinity to stop him,  and he was close enough to the throne room to know that the majority of back up would be too late to try and stop him. 

Satoru easily pushed past the guards at the door and slowly walked up the long pathway leading to the throne.  "I've got a bone to pick with you, bone-bag," he announced. 

The old bag didn't seem surprised that he was no longer locked up. Figures. "Ah, just who I wanted to see," he said and sat up in his gaudy throne. 

Satoru frowned and crossed his arms. He was ready to start making demands, ready to threaten their lives if need be, but now his interest was piqued.  "Not going to tell me to crawl back to your dingy dungeons?" He asked with a laugh. 

"I would have summoned you to me eventually for a meeting. It matters not how it came to be, only that fate has ordained it," the old fossil said. 

Satoru rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay, whatever, what do you want from me? If it's about that idiot Zen'in then tough luck. He had it coming to him."

The second he even thought about hurting Utahime his fate was sealed. He will pay, one way or another. Satoru wasn't done with him yet. 

And I'll be the one to ring the death knell, because I have ordained it. 

The old fossil shook his head. "You are now considered an enemy of The Crown.  You destroyed a large portion of the castle, and in doing so, you threatened the life of our court healer, this is treasonous—"

"Shoko was perfectly safe!" Satoru cut in angrily. 

The old bastard continued, "—And you attempted to murder our highest ranking officer, These crimes are more than enough to rightfully sentence you to death.

"We can negotiate though. In exchange for lifting these charges, you will complete a mission for me."

Satoru threw his head back and laughed. "I'd like to see you try, old man! You can't be serious!  You know that's not going to happen!"

"Hm, I was afraid you'd say that, In that case, we will just have to take a substitute."

"What? You'll punish a random loser in my place? Ha! Be my guest!" Satoru said.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked and hit his staff against the ground once.  

A moment later Naoya burst into the room looking awfully smug for someone that was a few seconds from learning if the goddess accepted losers with terrible hair into her abode just a day ago.

Naoya had a ridiculous smirk on his stupid face as he slowly began to walk around Satoru. "In that case, we'll just take this one!" He said and held up a straw doll. 

At first, Satoru was tempted to roll his eyes, but when he saw the traces of mana clinging to the doll, his blood ran cold.  

 It had Utahime's magic clinging to it. 

Satoru lunged at him, but Naoya jumped out of the way. 

"Ah-ah, careful, Gojo. One more move like that and your little kitty is dead," Naoya said with a grin and bent the doll into an awkward shape. 

Satoru swore his heart stopped. That couldn't be what he thought it was. Did that bastard make an effigy of my Utahime?!

He growled angrily and his fingers twitched at his side as he quickly considered his options.

There was a possibility that the protection spell he put on Utahime would protect her from whatever Naoya might try to do to her. However, there was a time limit on it, and Satoru unfortunately didn't really understand those damned objects. 

That was a lesson he fell asleep in… 

If he attacked Naoya, he'd have to do so without magic in order to keep his infinity up. If he dropped infinity to cast another spell, that bastard could still hurt Utahime with that damn doll. If he was too slow… he would be risking Utahime's safety over a possibility that the damn doll wouldn't affect her.

I can't risk it! Not my Utahime… 

There was a dark energy surrounding the doll in Naoya's hand as well, it was enough to make Satoru feel uneasy. But there was also no mistaking the warm pulse of Utahime's mana clinging to the straw doll. It was weaved rather deeply through the damned thing, and the core was even stronger than the outside… What is the core made of?! What did he do to her?!

"What's the fucking mission?" Satoru snapped,  angry and frustrated. 

The old fossil scratched at his beard and motioned for Naoya to move to his side. Naoya walked backwards with a smug look on his face until he was at the old fossil's side. Satoru wished he could have cast a spell to trip him, but he didn't want to give these assholes even a second to get past his infinity.

"This is very important, as the strongest sorcerer, only you can guarantee the success of this mission," the old fossil continued. 

Satoru scowled and crossed his arms.  "I'm surprised Mr. The kingdom's finest sorcerer, Special General of the Kingdom Armies, and Master Chief of the Hei . Isn't offended you've looked him over for such an important mission," he snapped. 

Naoya scowled, but surprisingly, he didn't take the bait. His grip on the doll did tighten though, and he moved his thumb to the doll's neck… 

Satoru internally panicked. He wasn't bound to Utahime anymore, but strangely, he found it harder to breathe all of a sudden. 

Like how veterans described feeling the pain of a severed limb. A ghost pain that closed his throat and shook his bones… 

"What—What makes you think I care about that?" Satoru asked as plainly as he could, even though he could feel a cold panic beginning to creep up his spine. 

Naoya grinned, wide and snake-like. "Did you know many believe familiars have a higher pain tolerance than humans or even witches, especially the female ones? I think it's about time we settle that once and for all," Naoya said with a dark laugh. "In fact, I have many projects that I need subjects for. I could start with this one! If his Majesty permits it."

Satoru's mouth went dry.  "I swear if you fucking touch her again I'll skin you alive!" He threatened. 

"Oh! That's a great idea. I wonder how much it will scream before finally kicking the bucket?" Naoya asked. 

Satoru's hands started to shake with rage, and his magic began to swell in the room.  He was trying to keep it together, but if this asshole kept pushing him, he wouldn't be able to control himself. 

The old fossil gestured for Naoya to stand down, and he released the awkward hold he had on the effigy, simultaneously– strangely, allowing Satoru to breathe again, and his thoughts to settle enough to think … 

"So… I go on this damn mission, and what? You lift the charges? That's it?" Satoru asked in annoyance.  

"Yes, however, we do have more for you in return," the old fossil said.  "This is a very important mission, and you will be rewarded as well for completing it."

His patience was running thin.  "Ugh, what do you want me to kill this time?!"

"This is not your typical mission, this is an escort mission," the old fossil said. 

That was a different request. Of all the missions The Crown sent him on over the years it was always to kill something or blow something up. Now he wanted him to protect something? 

"Details old man! I don't have all day," Satoru said, annoyed. Whatever decision he came to needed to be made before noon, while he still had plenty of time, he didn't want to take chances.

The old fossil scoffed and shook his head. "Careful,  Gojo. You are in no position to be speaking to me like that."

Satoru growled, frustrated and angry, but didn't comment further. 

"I want you to go across the sea to escort my great niece home, she is in grave danger, she is the Star Goddess incarnate, and—"

"If she's a goddess, why can't she get here on her own?" Satoru asked.

"She has only recently been identified as the Star Goddess's incarnation, and has not come into her powers. Others have detected her as well, and are hunting her. She is in danger. We need to bring her to the castle in order to keep her safe so she can learn to become—"

"A weapon?" Satoru cut in once more, a bit bitter over his own upbringing in the castle.  

It wasn't the same, he knew that. He'd been nothing more than a tool, property to The Crown, and this woman was more, she was important, valuable. She'd probably be pampered to hell.

"—She will learn to become the most powerful witch of our time—"

" After me of course," he interrupted yet again. A bit childish maybe, but he almost died for that title, and he wasn't going to get stepped over by some royal broad, goddess incarnate or not.

"Of course," The old fossil sighed.  "Now please,  will you accept this assignment? Amanai Riko must be brought home safely."

Satoru sighed dramatically and rubbed his eyes. He didn't want to do it, he couldn't care less about the problems of The Crown, but these bastards had his hands tied. 

They had an effigy of Utahime, and he couldn't risk calling their bluff. 

It's too risky… 

Besides, a small voice in the back of its head was telling him to just suck it up and do it. 

My Utahime would probably want me to accept… He thought ruefully. She always liked the missions where they saved innocents the most, even if that was never why he was originally sent there, she would always urge him to change course. Her voice echoed in his head. 

It's good to save lives, it's good to help people, Gojo…  

"So, I bring her back, and that's it? You drop my charges and I fuck off?! You better sweeten the deal if you want me to ever work for you again after this!" Satoru snapped. " You think you've seen the worst of me, but you have no idea what I'm truly capable of! I swear when I get back, I'll make you regret even thinking you have leverage over me." He threatened between his teeth. 

He would too. The first thing he'll do is take Utahime back, then maybe level the entire castle to the ground like he's been wanting to do.

"I did mention there is an ample reward that I believe you'll find more than suitable," The old bastard said. "I would be honored to offer my niece's hand in marriage to you in return. She is only three years younger than you, and is still a maiden and in her prime for bearing—"

Satoru burst into laughter, he swore he didn't hear him right. "Are you serious?! You want me to marry your oh so important niece?" He giggled to himself in amusement.  There was no way he was serious!

He did not expect that offer at all! He wanted him to marry his supposed divine niece? That would put him close to the crown… what would it be, the King Consort? How ironic. From slave to king. 

Even if the old fossil didn't abdicate– as power hungry as he was– simply being married to his niece would still put Satoru in a high enough position to potentially make many changes to their society if he played his cards right… 

A thought occurred to him so suddenly that he nearly gasped. I can try and use that power to grant full personhood to familiars!! 

Even if he didn't have an opinion on the matter, he would do it for her, for Utahime… 

She would love that. Then she can be free like she truly wants to be!

Perhaps this diplomacy shit really could pay off after all.

Satoru exhaled heavily and closed his eyes as he tried to calm down. He needed to be careful so he didn't jeopardize things as they stood now.  

He took one more deep breath then walked right up the steps that led to the throne and quickly towered over the king. "She must be really valuable to you if you're willing to give her to me so easily~" he said slowly, careful to keep his tone neutral. 

"She is not only important to me, but to the future of this kingdom," The King said. "But we have much to gain from such a partnership, no one else would be a better match for her. The children produced from such a union could challenge the heavens."

Of course the old fossil was hungry for power, but it wasn't a difficult task on his part at all. All he had to do was fuck this woman enough for her to pop out a few heirs while he took care of more important matters. 

Like publicly humiliating Naoya before sentencing him to death for hurting Utahime…

Oh, and that Yorozu bitch too… 

Hell, maybe he'd strip the whole Zen'in clan of power just to laugh in their faces.

And he owed Yaga for sticking his neck out for him, so maybe he'd do something nice for him too.

While he was at it, he should also probably do something nice for Shoko for sacrificing so much to help him… 

The old fossil's attendants attempted and failed again to get close to Satoru. 

Annoyed by their insistence, Satoru extended the berth of his barrier, causing them to run into it, and tumble down the steps like silver dinner goblets clattering off a shelf. He smirked in amusement as they rolled down the marble stairs, grunting in pain all the way. 

"So,  tell me why is she so far away?" Satoru asked curiously. 

"The neighboring land is her home, her parents ruled the duchy there,  unfortunately,  they were assassinated. She is currently in hiding at a secure safe house."

"Hm… I want another condition," Satoru carefully said. 

"And what is that?"

"I want a guarantee that Shoko's Familiar will be safe. I don't want that Zen'in bastard to even breathe in her vicinity," Satoru said. " And I want that written down."

Naoya scoffed, but didn't say anything.

The old fossil sighed on the other hand, and leaned back in his throne to scratch at his beard as he thought. A few tense beats later he snapped his fingers and a scroll flew over to Satoru. "Here, I believe this covers your condition?"

Satoru snatched the scroll out of the air and looked it over.  

'BY THE KlNG. A DECREE 

 

HIS MAJESTY, GAKUGANJI THE FIRST.

Whereas we The Crown have come to an agreement with the Sorcerer Gojo Satoru considering the wellbeing of the Familiar Spirit named Utahime.  

 

In exchange for the successful and safe arrival of the Star Goddess incarnate, and the heir to the throne, escorted by the Sorcerer Gojo Satoru, we The Crown will oversee the safety of the Familiar Spirit named Utahime.' 

Satoru glared at him. "I'm not stupid. The protection needs to be tied to her soul, not her name."

"Of course," The old fossil sighed and snapped his fingers again, rewording the statement.

'No matter what name the Familiar Spirit currently known as Utahime is or is not contracted under, The Crown will oversee the safety and well-being of its soul. So long as the Star Goddess incarnate is escorted safely to her ancestral home by the Sorcerer Gojo Satoru.'

Satoru read over the adjustment multiple times, but he still wasn't satisfied with the wording. Even though he didn't think he needed to be concerned about it, his gut was telling him to be. 

"You think I'll fail? Why is this wording here?" He asked and tossed the scroll back to him— attempted to, but it annoyingly stayed floating in the air in front of him. 

"It is simply a normal precaution," the old fossil said. 

"Well get rid of it. It's not necessary," he snapped, annoyed. "There's no way I won't succeed."

"Unfortunately, that adjustment cannot be done. Lady Amanai's  safety is paramount."

He growled in annoyance and snatched the contract out of the air again. He wanted to know for sure that Utahime would be safe, no matter what. 

As much as he didn't want to admit it, he wasn't as untouchable as he used to be.  That much was unfortunately driven home when that bitch Yorozu captured him. 

The smart thing to do would be to have a back up plan. 

To do that, he needed to offer the old bastard something in exchange valuable enough that he would be willing to overlook the possible death of this supposed goddess incarnate— and his niece to boot. 

Something… valuable to The Crown… 

Something they'd be willing to do anything to have— even protect a lone Familiar for potential centuries for. 

Something irreplaceable, unique, one of a kind. 

Something that made The Crown look good— powerful…  

"You offer her unconditional protection for the rest of her natural days… and if I fail your mission… in exchange for her continued protection… my soul is yours," Satoru slowly said.  

It was the most valuable thing he had. It only made sense to offer it as payment to protect the one person he valued the most. More than himself. More than a hundred lives. 

"Hmm," the old fossil rubbed his chin in thought. "In totality?" 

Satoru didn't hesitate. "In totality," he repeated grimly. His heart was racing. He figured it must be because a part of himself was reeling over what he was saying– what he was doing . 

What the hell was he doing?

What am I fucking doing?!

It's just a precaution. He reasoned. If he failed the mission, that only meant he would probably be dead, so he needed to make sure Utahime would be protected, especially from that damn Zen'in asshole.

He didn't think he actually cared what The Crown did with his soul should he die on a mission if it meant Utahime would be able to live out her life in peace. He would be okay with it. 

Again, it was only a precaution, a back up plan. Just in case.  

With that in mind, Satoru grabbed the quill that the old fossil summoned and pricked his finger with the sharpened edge as he read over the updated part of the contract once more. 

'The Crown shall take the Familiar Spirit known as Utahime under its total protection, no matter what name it is or is not contracted under, no harm shall come to its body or soul in exchange for the safe escort of the Star Goddess incarnate, Amanai Riko to her ancestral home by the Sorcerer, Gojo Satoru. 

Should he fail to bring the Star Goddess incarnate, Amanai Riko home alive and well, The Crown will take complete ownership of the Sorcerer, Gojo Satoru's soul in exchange for continued protection of the Familiar Spirit currently known as Utahime henceforth into perpetuity, and as restitution for failing the Star Goddess herself. 

X: Gojo Satoru'

"There," Satoru said and carefully signed his name in blood on the dotted line. He felt a bit faint just reading over the contract. 

But at the same time, he felt disconnected from the whole thing. That strange feeling was settling over him again, that far away feeling, like he was watching himself. 

This was the best course of action.  Yeah he could have destroyed everything as a last resort, but what would that really accomplish. Nothing. 

Utahime wanted to live here, and she couldn't if he destroyed it.. 

Now he had a chance to make a real change. Now he had a chance to give Utahime something just as valuable as what she gave him. Freedom. 

She gave him freedom seven years ago, and now, whether he failed this mission or not, he could finally return the favor. 

Maybe seven years wasn't worth much to most, but to him it was worth a lifetime, even one as long as Utahime's life could be. 

As soon as he stepped away, the contract disappeared. 

"I truly do pray you are successful, Gojo," the old fossil said. "I would really rather—"

"I will be," Satoru cut in, and turned to the Zen'in asshole. "Give me that," he snapped and held his hand out for the effigy. 

A heavy beat of silence stretched between them as Naoya boldly looked him in the eyes, as if silently daring him to look away, or blink.

Satoru held his sharp gaze undeterred. "Don't make me ask again," he muttered angrily. 

The old fossil cleared his throat and tapped his staff against the tile again. "Give Gojo the effigy, Naoya."

Naoya scowled and tightened his grip on it for a few tense beats before finally shoving it into Satoru's waiting hand. 

Now that he had the effigy in his hand, he knew it was real, and that both angered him and freaked him out at the same time. 

Satoru immediately tucked it into his breast pocket inside his coat, and a wave of relief washed over him. He would have said something to Naoya along the lines of him being a good dog for listening to the old bastard, but he held his tongue. 

He was too shaken.

Utahime seemed okay when he saw her a few hours ago, but that still didn't ease his conscience. Knowing that Naoya could have hurt her with it at any time grated on his nerves. 

He needed to see her. It was the only way to make sure. He had to see her with his own eyes.

Satoru repressed a sigh,  and hopped down the steps, landing right on the chest of one of the two guards that he knocked down earlier. 

The man groaned in pain, but Satoru paid him no mind. 

"Make sure my boat is stocked up with plenty of sweets," he said and moved to step on the other guard so his buddy wouldn't be alone. 

"The ship will be stocked with all that you require to make the trip," The old bag gestured to some other attendants. "Please brief Satoru—"

"Hey! Didn't I tell you multiple times already you damn fossil?!" Satoru snapped in annoyance. " Do not call me that!"

"— Ahem, please brief Gojo on the groups to look out for, time is of the essence, he must be ready to set sail by tomorrow night."

The attendant, a woman with dark hair, bowed and moved over to stand before Satoru.  "Come with me, I will explain all the delicate details," she said and led him away. 

Satoru followed after her, but faltered when the woman turned to say something to him.  Something that he didn't hear, because her dark brown eyes were suddenly pools of warm, amber honey, and her nose suddenly had a cute little curve. 

He pressed his hand against his chest, over where the effigy sat in his pocket, over his heart… 

It hurt. 

"Wake up girls! Enough sleeping in!" Satoru yelled as he burst into Shoko's sleeping quarters. 

"Gojo!? What the hell?!" Shoko yelled back and threw a pillow at his face, only for it to smack against his infinity. "Get out! We're not dressed!"

He scoffed and lifted his sunglasses up to see them better. "Oh, damn, really?" They were just in their slip dresses. "I've seen more than that!" 

"You have not! Out! " Shoko yelled, and threw another pillow.

He held his hands up in defeat and left the room. "Yeah, whatever, okay!" He yelled dramatically. 

He has , at least of Utahime, but he wasn't going to push the topic for a few reasons. The most important one, was he was pretty sure Utahime didn't want to be reminded of how many times they accidentally got a peek at each other in their birthday suits over the years. 

It couldn't really be helped. Most of those incidents happened when they were kids. They shared everything when they lived in the castle, accidently walking in on the other wasn't really something to be ashamed of. 

Though he was no fool, he knew innocent accidents as kids didn't really hold a candle to shameless gawking as adults. 

But it wasn't his intention to gawk. 

Still, left to stand in the hall and twiddle his thumbs had him thinking about the last time he accidently walked in on Utahime… 

It had been a few months into living in the shop, their home. Originally, they shared a room, because at the time, it made sense. 

They shared one since they were barely five years old, why change? 

He didn't see anything wrong with it, that was until he accidently walked in on her changing. 

He left the room so quickly that he didn't think she actually noticed he saw anything at all. In truth, all he got was a glimpse of her profile, but he still remembered it as if it happened yesterday… 

She'd been stark naked, and her hair had been up in a messy bun. Her arms were crossed over her chest, so he hadn't seen anything, but he still saw the way the smooth dip of her spine rounded from her curves… 

She had been tapping her chin as she looked down at the bed where two different dresses had been laid out— obviously thinking about which she would wear. 

That day he suggested she move to her own room, and that started their first argument in the new home. 

You're kicking me out? What? But why?! Utahime had asked him, her large amber eyes filled with hurt.

He'd been too ashamed to tell her why. I'm not kicking you out, Uta! We've got the space now, why not use it? Don't you want your own room? We designed the room to be used anyway. 

But! That— what about if we have guests?!

I'll just convert another room to a guest room.

But I need to be close to you, Gojo! What if something happens? I need to be there to—

No you don't, Uta, not anymore. It's fine! We're safe here. There's no reason for you to be around me twenty four seven!

He felt the hurt that flashed across her face like a punch to the chest.  Oh… okay… she had whispered.

She had looked so sad when she said that, her shoulders slumped and her eyes watery. 

It made him feel guilty even now thinking about it, seven years later.  

Utahime had shifted to her cat form after that, and didn't speak to him for two days.  

Things smoothed out afterwards though, and he forgot about the ordeal.

Now, he couldn't help but wonder if that was one of the things that led to their bond deteriorating. 

Had Utahime been that offended by his suggestion? 

Maybe he should have just told her he saw her undressed. She would have been mortified, but she wouldn't have been upset with him.  

He had been trying to save her dignity, and ended up hurting her instead. 

That was just one mistake in a series of others that led them to where they were now, like a domino effect. 

Tired, and his mood even worse than before, Satoru turned and loudly banged on the door. "Are you two decent yet?!"

Shoko opened the door with a scowl already on her face. She wore the typical gray blue dress she wore all the time, except her white coat was hanging up behind her. 

"You have a lot of explaining to do," she said angrily. 

"Yeah, yeah," Satoru grumbled and pushed past her to walk in the room. He was looking for Utahime, and he found her in her cat form sitting on the couch by the window.  

He walked right up to her and picked her up so he could look her in the eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, ignoring the way Shoko smacked at his arm and yelled something along the lines of,  put her down! 

Utahime blinked slowly and nodded. "Yes… we're fine. What is going on?"

He sighed heavily in relief and carefully set her back down so he could address Shoko's irritated face. 

"I just wanted to make sure you two were protected while I took care of some things," he explained and invited himself to sit on Shoko's bed. 

Shoko scowled at him and pointed to the couch. "Get off my bed, Gojo! There's a couch right there!"

He shrugged and moved to the couch and sat beside Utahime with a sigh.  He was really tempted to snatch her up to hold her like he did for years whenever he sat by her, so much so that his hand twitched, but he refrained. 

It was rude to touch another witch's familiar without permission, and while he hadn't exactly adhered to that rule much in the past few hours, Shoko had just told him directly not to touch her. 

So he didn't. 

He didn't want to get on Shoko's bad side, even though he wasn't sure how much she actually cared about those rules, he chose to remain on the side of caution.

After all, the saying goes, don't do to a familiar what you wouldn't do to their Master. 

He owed the girls an explanation anyway. 

"Look, calm down, Shoko. I—"

"No! You calm down!"

"Uh, clearly I am."

"Shut up! Do you have any idea what it feels like to wake up in a sudden panic in the middle of the night and not even know why?! Only to find out that your familiar is missing?  The one that one of the court assholes  had been trying to take from you?!" Shoko yelled. 

"I'm sorry…" Utahime whispered.

"Uta, no,  I told you it's not your fault, it's this asshole's fault," Shoko said and jabbed a finger in his face. "I looked for her everywhere! Couldn't find her, so I went back to my room to try and sleep, and then she just appeared and told me you told her that we need to hide until noon?! What the fuck!?"

Satoru sighed heavily and started to reach out to Utahime, intending to pet her, but caught himself before doing so and awkwardly dropped his hand into his lap. "I'm sorry, Shoko. Everything is under control. I just wanted to make sure you two were protected in case I blew everything up…" literally. 

Shoko sighed heavily and took a cigarette out of her pocket and Utahime sent a spark over to light it for her. 

Satoru frowned and glanced at Utahime. Her ears were down, and while he figured she might be upset with him too, he wondered if it had anything to do with Shoko's smoking.  Utahime always disliked the smoke, especially the smell that followed when people smoked cigarettes or cigars. She would complain about it being unhealthy, and most of all she'd complain about the smell clinging to her fur.

She had gotten into arguments with people in the past that argued that the smoke was no different than incense smoke. Satoru smiled to himself at the memory of a puffed up Utahime running to him, upset about people comparing the sacred rituals she loved so much to mere smoking, as she put it. 

He would always hold her while she ranted, and sometimes he liked to pick her brain about why things like that upset her so much. Other times he just listened, content to just comfort her, even if it was over something he thought was silly. 

Not for the first time, he found himself wondering over whether or not Utahime truly got everything that she needed living in the castle. 

Does Shoko comfort you when you need it, Hime? Do you even need comfort anymore? 

She said they weren't compatible, but he was still having a hard time wrapping his head around such a statement.  Was it really that simple? Had they fallen apart because they weren't compatible from the beginning? 

If he hadn't met her in the garden that day twenty years ago, then he probably would have never had a familiar to begin with. Or, they would have assigned someone to him when he was a teenager. 

He hid Utahime well in the beginning. No one knew about her until he was about eight. At that point, he was also strong enough to properly threaten anyone that even suggested he get rid of her. 

"Hello?! Are you even listening anymore?" Shoko asked, snapping him back to reality. 

Satoru sighed and leaned back against the window. "No."

"Wow, you're such an asshole, Gojo."

He rolled his eyes and absently inspected his nails.  "Yeah, whatever, you should probably work on that attitude, Shoko, I'm going to be your King soon, and you'll have to call me Your Majesty~"

Shoko rubbed her temples and sat down on her bed with a sigh.  "What are you even talking about?"

"I'm going to marry the Old bastard's niece who just so happens to be the Star Goddess incarnate!" He said with a smirk.

"What?"

" W-What?!" Utahime squeaked beside him.

He turned to her and held his finger up to his lips. Her amber eyes were so wide that she looked like a cute doll. "It's a secret though! I have to go get her first, rescue her or whatever. She needs a knight in shining armor, and of course I'm the best for the job!"

Shoko scoffed. "You can't be serious!"

Satoru turned back to her. "Yup! You're both invited to the wedding, I'm sure it'll be grand!"

"I can't believe this," Shoko grumbled. 

"Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to become a believer 'cause you have the honor of looking after our future brats," he said with a laugh. 

Shoko frowned and put her hand over her mouth. "Ugh, okay, shut up, I actually feel nauseous!"

He gasped in faux offense. "Shoko! You hate the idea of little mes running around that much?"

"One of you is bad enough to deal with," Shoko muttered under her breath. 

Saroru rolled his eyes and stood up. "Okay, whatever, I was kidding anyway, you don't have to be so rude," he grumbled. 

"I—I-I'll watch them…" Utahime whispered so quietly that Satoru was surprised he heard her. 

He turned to her in surprise and smiled wryly. She still wore the same wide eyed expression, and he couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. 

He would have asked why she'd volunteer to do that, but he didn't have the time to waste anymore. He had to catch his boat.

Instead, he simply shook his head.  "No Utahime, you'll be busy doing far more important things than that, I know it," he said then turned back to Shoko.  "I've got a lot of plans, but I can't get into it right now, but all I'll say is, have fun while I'm gone. You don't have to worry about the Zen'in asshole anymore. In fact, you don't have to worry about anyone." 

He left the room, but stopped in the doorway to look at Shoko again. "I'm sorry for the trouble. Really. I owe you a lot, and I promise I'll make it right…"

Shoko sighed heavily and rubbed her temples again. "It's fine Gojo, I'm just glad you're okay. But try not to do anything stupid anymore. You'll give us both grays." 

He forced a smile and his eyes drifted over her shoulder to where Utahime still sat by the wall— still with that wide eyed shocked expression. 

"Well… we can't have that now can we?" He murmured mostly to himself. "I'm not sure how long I'll be gone," he added louder.

He heard Shoko respond, but her words didn't stick. He was too busy watching the way Utahime's ears sank down against her head.

Does Shoko comfort you when you need it, Hime? Do you even need comfort anymore?  He thought once again.

"Be a good girl while I'm gone, Hime~" he teased, and added a wink for good measure.

Distantly, he heard one of them yell, what the fuck, Gojo?! But he didn't pay attention to who. It honestly could have been both of them because someone threw something at him again that missed.

But Utahime's ears weren't wilted anymore, and her fur was standing on end, and Satoru laughed softly in relief. 

She didn't need comfort anymore after all now that he thought about it. It was always because of him that she ever got angry or upset, and thinking back on it, that was true even when they were kids. 

Please, Gojo! I want to forget everything!

Her words once again haunted his psyche. 

She only said that because I asked her to come back… he thought ruefully. 

Maybe she was right after all. They never really were compatible. 

Satoru turned on his heel and left. He had one more place to go before his departure, and this one was perhaps the most important. 

He made his way straight to Yaga's office, and he strode right in, not bothering to announce himself, and consequently startling the poor old man half to death. 

"Ah! What the hell Gojo!?" Yaga yelled, his hand over his heart. 

One of his various Familiars, one who took on the form of a giant panda, had shifted from his pin form and jumped between them,  shielding Yaga from Satoru's view. 

"It's just me, Panda," Satoru said and side stepped him.  "Yaga, I need your help."

He sighed heavily and rubbed his chest. "I swear you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Good thing we have Shoko," Satoru said before carefully taking the effigy out of his pocket. He cradled it to his chest with both hands, in his eyes, it was akin to holding Utahime's heart… "I… I need you to safely destroy this for me…" Satoru unintentionally whispered around the sudden lump in his throat. 

"What the—? Is that what I think it is?" Yaga asked as he stood up from his desk. 

"If you were thinking, an effigy, then yes… the Zen'in bastard with the shitty hair made it of Utahime…" he subconsciously clutched the small doll closer to his chest. 

Panda closed the door and sat in front of it, and Yaga moved to his shelf to pull out a thick tome. 

"I'll have to research this… these items are dangerous. They are typically illegal, and the method to making each one is different. There are multiple ways," Yaga said. "Does His Majesty know that—"

"Of course he knows!" Satoru growled angrily. "And the bastard did nothing!"

Yaga sighed and set the tome on his desk. "Calm yourself, Satoru… we don't want to catch unwanted attention." 

Satoru grimaced, but didn't comment. Yaga was right. He didn't need anyone else learning about this. "Can you help me or not?"

Yaga nodded and sat at his desk with a heavy sigh.  "Of course, but it'll take time. I'll need to find out how this specific one was made in order to safely dispose of it without harming her."

Satoru's frown deepened.  He didn't like the sound of that. He wanted to watch it get destroyed to make sure it was gone. Though it seemed like he wasn't going to get to do that.  

"I have to go on a mission… and I won't be able to focus if I know this thing still exists… so… I need to be able to trust you with her," Satoru quietly said, and tightened his grip on the doll. "Please."

Yaga took his sunglasses off and set them aside so he could look him in the eyes. "You can trust me, Satoru. I'll take care of her. I promise," he said and held his hand out. 

Satoru nodded slowly and swallowed around the lump in his throat. As if he were handling shattered glass, he carefully set the small effigy down in the center of Yaga's palm.

His hands shook as he let the doll go. His instincts were telling him to quickly snatch it back, but he knew it would be even more dangerous for him to take it with him. 

"Don't worry, Satoru, just focus on your mission," Yaga said.

He nodded slowly and bit his lip as he stepped away. "Thank you…"

Chapter Text

By the time Satoru made landfall, he still felt like he was on the damn boat. He had a hard time keeping balance. Sealegs was what he learned sailors called it, and he kind of hated it.

He took a horse that was provided to him by an informant waiting at the local inn, and was given vague instructions on where the safe house was. 

That was it. 

He didn't even know exactly where it was, and it was apparently part of the security protocol to keep it as hush hush as they were. 

The only problem he saw with that was, if he was supposed to rescue this woman, he needed to fucking find her first! If she wasn't dead already, because the boat trip took quite a long time… 

The old fossil said she has just come into her powers, so she probably can't fight, Satoru thought with a sigh. 

If that was the case, then she must have some guards with her. Unless they all died getting her to the safe house. 

The only hint he was given was that the safe house might not even be a house at all. 

"She might be in a damn cave out here for all I know!" He grumbled as he set off into the forest. 

All he had to go by was a bracelet that supposedly belonged to her. 

His current plan was to ride out to the heart of the forest and use the bracelet as a catalyst to try and track her. 

The safe house was supposed to be undetectable by most tracking spells, but he had a few spells in his arsenal that would be able to at least give him an idea of where to search. 

It was sunset by the time he got to the heart of the forest. The energy that surrounded the space was heavy. He could tell why this forest was used as the location for the safe house. While mana flowed through all living beings, the trees in this forest were huge, and stored lots of mana within them.  A lesser witch would be overwhelmed by the daunting atmosphere, they'd probably also be paranoid, because it felt like something was watching him. 

Satoru got off the horse and carefully scanned the area. The deep orange light from the setting sun filtered in through the trees, casting a warm sheen over the mossy ground. What once was bright, vibrant green now appeared a grayish brown in the contrasting light. 

Even though he was reluctant to do so, he dropped his infinity spell and held his hand out with the bracelet in his palm. 

He whispered the tracking spell under his breath, and all the mana in the area slowly began to shift. 

A stream of energy began to warp around him like a quiet river. It seeped from the earth and trees and gradually began to flow forward, urging him along the moss covered ground like an invisible tether. 

His eyes unfocused as the energy tugged him along. All he could see were the bright trails of mana flowing around him like vapor. 

It was beautiful, in a strange, dreamy kind of way, but he couldn't focus entirely on the path he was being led down. In the back of his mind, he was still trying to watch his surroundings. 

This was the first time he had to do this spell alone, it typically took all of his focus, and that left him vulnerable.  

In the past, he'd have infinity cast around him, and now, he should only maintain one spell at a time. In the past, he also had Utahime at his side, his second pair of eyes… 

What should have only taken him a few minutes now took him far longer, because every time he heard something shift or groan, or even a twig snap in the immense forest, his concentration would break, and he'd have to recast the spell. 

His nerves were beginning to fray, he did not like being so vulnerable. On top of that, dusk was quickly setting in, and the large trees blocked out what little star light the looming night provided.

The stream of mana led him to a section of the forest where every tree was double the size of the ones at the entrance. With one final tug, his hand was pressed against the bark of of the many ancient trees. As soon as he scanned over the stone like bark, he felt something sharp jab him in the back. 

"Don't move," a man's voice threatened. 

Satoru spun around and blindly grabbed the blade pointed at him. He felt the cool metal cut into his palm, but he didn't process the pain. 

A beat later he yanked the blade towards him, side stepping the point and smashing his first into his attacker's jaw. 

The man fell back, and Satoru quickly cast infinity right as the man jumped to his feet. He swung his blade at him, but it clashed against Satoru's infinity barrier.

"What the hell?" The man swore and jumped back, putting distance between them.

Satoru ran his uninjured hand through his hair and sighed. That was a close one. While he wasn't out of danger yet, now that he had his barrier up he was able to relax. Unfortunately, he couldn't heal his hand, which was bleeding profusely. 

"Who are you?" Satoru demanded as he looked over his attacker.

The man was a bit shorter than him, and had long black hair that was half tied in a neat bun. He had on leather armor, a dark travel cloak, and wore a necklace with a crest Satoru didn't recognize. 

"I should be asking you that, you are intruding on blessed territory," the man calmly said and raised his sword once more. "If you don't state your business, I will have no choice but to execute you."

Satoru scoffed, "Then I'll just have to cut you down, I don't have time to play twenty questions," he said and summoned his own sword and lunged at him. 

He didn't bother defending, he had his infinity up, so all he needed to worry about was attacking this loser. 

Their weapons clashed a few times, but in only a matter of moments, Satoru had his blade at the man's neck and readied himself to free his head from his shoulders. 

"Wait! Your crest!" The man yelled.

Satoru froze with his blade just barely cutting into the man's adam's apple. "What of it?" He asked, his eyes narrowed. 

"It's the kingdom's crest— You— you must be our escort!" He said, strained.

Satoru frowned, but didn't move his blade. "I'm assigned to escort a woman, so unless you know her name, you'll become compost in two seconds."

"I do! It's Lady Amanai!" He said. 

"How do I know you're not just some asshole that wants to find her yourself?"

"Because I know where she is, please, let me show you."

"And how do you know I'm not a threat? I could have killed some loser to get this crest you know," Satoru said. "If you truly know where she is, you'll be leading her to her death."

The man shook his head. "Silver hair, and glowing blue eyes, you also wear the royal crest, and you wield the sword of a sorcerer, you're The Silver Wraith, The Crown's fabled executioner, there is no doubt."

Satoru scoffed in mild offense and took a step back. This was surprisingly the first time he ever heard anyone refer to him like that. Wraith?  Executioner?  Wow okay…  Utahime won't be really happy about that… 

If this man knew him by those titles, then that only meant their good deeds over the years meant nothing... right?

"Uh… okay? You know who I am, so who the fuck are you?" Satoru snapped. 

"I am but Lady Amanai's humble guard, Geto," he said. 

"Hmph, so if you're out here, I'm going to assume she is safely hiding somewhere— somewhere connected to this tree, yeah?" Satoru asked. 

He nodded. "Yes."

"Well bring her out," Satoru said and finally lowered his sword. "We've got a long way back, and no time to waste."

"Of course," Geto said and turned towards the tree and held a charm up next to it. He murmured a quick incantation and a small knot in the tree began to warp and open up until the hole was large enough for a person to fit through.

"I'm not going in there, bring her out here," Satoru insisted when Geto turned to look at him. 

"Very well," he said and disappeared inside the tree. 

Satoru sighed heavily and looked around to scan his surroundings before looking down to inspect the cut on his palm. It was still bleeding. It hurt like hell, but he could tell it wasn't poisoned.

Nervous, he looked around once more before quickly dropping his infinity so he could cast a healing spell. It didn't look like the bleeding was going to stop any time soon, so he figured the blade the guard had was also enchanted, and it wouldn't do him any good to bleed out right now… 

Thankfully he managed to heal it just in time to recast his infinity before Geto returned with a woman in an extravagant dark blue dress at his side.

As soon as he looked at her he was shocked by the amount of mana she had around her. It rivaled his own, but unlike him, she didn't seem to be repressing it at all. 

"Erm, hello Lady Amanai," he said and offered her a polite bow, something he normally wouldn't do, but he had to make a good impression. If he wanted to get done what he wanted, then he had to make sure she at least liked him. 

"Greetings, Master Gojo, it is an honor to meet you," Amanai said. "I am relieved my great uncle has sent one as capable as yourself to escort me. I have heard quite a lot about your amazing feats."

Satoru straightened and looked her over. She bore a pale, flawless complexion, dark silky hair, and her eyes were deep blue. She was objectively quite beautiful, though he wasn't really surprised. He'd be shocked if the Star Goddess incarnate wasn't at least tolerable to look at. 

He nodded slowly and cleared his throat. "I'm going to be frank with you, Lady Amanai, we can't afford to waste time with pleasantries, so sorry if I come off rude, but— we need to get you out of that dress, there is absolutely no way I can escort you safely if you are wearing that extravagant thing."

She gasped quietly and looked down at herself. "What? Why? What's wrong with it?"

Is she serious?  "You stick out like a sore thumb, you just scream rich and powerful," he shot Geto a sideways glance. "I'm shocked you didn't find something more suitable for her. You've been hiding out here for weeks, have you not?"

"I didn't want My Lady to be uncomfortable," Geto said. 

Satoru scoffed, "That's a terrible excuse. You're her bodyguard, aren't you? Her safety should be top priority, not her comfort," he said and motioned back to the safe house. "Go back inside and strip to your chemise—"

"I won't allow that! You'll ruin her dignity!" Geto argued angrily. 

"Would you rather her be dead?" Satoru snapped. "Would you rather her dress catch on a branch while we run from pursuers? Or perhaps have it weigh her down should we need to swim at all?"

He grit his teeth and took his cloak off. "Here My Lady, please put this on before you come back out."

"Thank you, Suguru," Amanai said and took it from him before retreating back into the safe house.  

Geto turned to glare at him.  "You better watch yourself Wraith," he spat. "I won't accept any disrespect towards Lady Amanai."

Satoru rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Look, I'm here to get her safely home, something that wouldn't be necessary if you as her bodyguard didn't fail her—" He held his hand up to stop him from protesting. "Ah, ah, I'm right, and you know it."

Geto shot him a withering glare, but Satoru merely smirked in response. 

"So play nice and listen to me if you want this to go smoothly," he finished and motioned for him to step back. "Give me some space."

Geto tensed, but after holding his gaze for a few heavy beats he gritted his teeth and took a few steps back.  When Amanai returned with Geto's cloak draped around her, Satoru held his hand up and began a spell. 

"Don't move," he told her seconds before a pulse of light surrounded her. 

The cloak warped and shifted around her until it took the shape of a modest peasant dress, complete with apron and all… he hadn't really had anything specific in mind, but seeing it on her now reminded him of the dress Utahime wore when she did chores around the house… 

"Looks perfect!" Satoru said and turned around. "I've got a horse not too far from here, you can get on it when we get to it." 

"Thank you! That was such a crafty spell!" Amanai said as she followed behind him.  

"Yeah, I guess," Satoru mumbled absently. He wasn't too keen on small talk, and he was far too occupied with scanning his surroundings.  

Her aura was interfering with his senses.  Her mana was so powerful even witches who were bad at sensing mana would no doubt be able to sense her coming.  

It was a wonder how she managed to stay safe this whole time without anyone finding her. Maybe her bodyguard was worth something. Satoru glanced over his shoulder at him and grimaced because the bastard was mean mugging him.  

If he focused on his mana he could tell there were multiple signatures coming off of him. That could only mean a few things, most likely that he had a good number of Familiars with him.  

It reminded him of Yaga. 

Satoru couldn't understand it. How could some witches even stand to bond themselves to more than one soul? His own bond with Utahime still haunted him… and he chose the most peaceful separation spell possible… 

That spell wasn't supposed to leave him with any kind of negative effects, but that didn't seem to be the case. Maybe he should find another Familiar once he got back to the castle, just to see if those effects faded away… 

If he did find another, he shouldn't need to use this damn device attached to his wrist anymore either. It was a win win scenario if it worked according to plan... 

"Ahem, pardon me,  Master Gojo, did you hear me?" Amanai said. 

He stopped by the horse to face her. "What?"

Her guard scoffed. "You should be more polite to—" 

Amanai held her hand up. "It's okay, Suguru…" she said the cleared her throat. "I was trying to tell you about my request, Master Gojo."

Satoru sighed and crossed his arms. "What is it?"

She held up a small ring. "My maid was kidnapped a few days ago, please help me rescue her! I'm concerned for her safety and—"

"If it was a few days ago, then she is as good as dead," Satoru said grimly. He didn't mean to sound heartless, but he didn't want to delude her either. 

Her expression fell. "No! I know she's alive! She's my Familiar! I know she still lives! We must save her!"

Satoru grimaced. "How the hell did you get your Familiar kidnapped??"

"S-She led the group chasing us away so that we could make it to the safe house," Amanai said, and rushed over to him, but was stopped by his infinity. "Oof— p-please, Master Gojo! You have to help us rescue her!" She begged as tears began to flood her eyes. 

He didn't know what to say. He never met anyone that was this attached to their Familiar… the consensus was, if a Familiar was lost for a long period of time, then most witches wrote them off as dead.

Familiars couldn't survive long periods of time away from their Masters. They would get sick, and if not reunited soon, they'd ultimately perish unless the bond was broken... 

"You're going to have to break the bond off and—"

She shook her head. "I can't! I-I know it is insanely improper, but she means the world to me!"

"Have some mercy, Wraith, My Lady has a delicate heart, Miss Kuroi is like family," Geto said. 

Satoru sighed heavily and shook his head. "I'm sorry, it can't be done. Any kind of detour will put you in danger," he narrowed his eyes at Geto. "It seems you've got plenty of Familiars to spare, why would you have Amanai's Familiar go off on her own? What kind of guard are you anyway?"

Geto scowled at him and drew his sword, only for Amanai to jump in front of him. "Don't Suguru! He just doesn't understand yet!" She yelled then turned to face Satoru. "She didn't go alone… she went with two of Suguru's loyal Familiars… it served as a perfect distraction because we share our mana with them, so our pursuers thought they were chasing us instead…" Her eyes watered and she hugged herself. 

"We were supposed to meet up with them after they lost our attackers… but they were unfortunately captured instead… Suguru's precious Familiars were unfortunately— k-killed…" she whispered before looking up at him with tears flooding her eyes. "You cannot even imagine how devastating that is… losing a familiar like that…" 

For the briefest moment, her deep blue eyes were suddenly the color of warm honey, and he had to look away. Why did he keep seeing her like that? 

How would that feel? She was right, he really had no idea… but if it was anything at all like the feeling of breaking one's bond, then he could imagine. If it was anything like the terror he felt when Utahime screamed in pain when Mei mei broke her arm during their last battle so many years ago, then he could imagine.  

If Utahime had been captured by a group of losers then he wouldn't stop searching the realm until he found her. He'd level every forest, every mountain range in sight until she was safe…  

Unfortunately, he couldn't suggest taking Amanai to the castle and sending her bodyguard alone after her Familiar because if he took Amanai too far away, then her Familiar would die. 

That explained why they were holed up in the same spot for so long… they didn't want to keep traveling knowing that her Familiar was being held nearby. 

They were also probably using her Familiar to track Amanai down, another reason why they couldn't leave the safe house… the forest added an extra layer of protection. 

It was messy. 

The only sensible thing to do would be to force Amanai to break her bond, and send her bodyguard to go look for her Familiar… 

But then if they both died as a result… She'd probably hate him. If she hated him then he probably wouldn't be able to get what he wanted done in the long run. 

Granted he still might be able to get away with passing the law if he dedicated it in her Familiar's honor, but that possibility was too flimsy for him to truly consider. The only possibility that made the most sense was to go after her himself… 

Dammit… 

Besides,

Utahime would want me to help them anyway… he could practically hear her voice urging him to agree.  

Please, Gojo! We have to help them! What if it was me? What would you do if it was me that was being held hostage? 

That was an easy question, everyone and everything that stood in his way would be flattened. 

Satoru sighed heavily and stared up at the sky for a few beats before looking at Amanai again.  "Fine. I'll save her. But you need to tell me right now if there is anything else you are hiding from me. I won't tolerate anymore surprises."

Her eyes widened and she literally jumped with supposed joy. "Oh thank the stars! I knew you had a good soul! There's nothing else, I swear," she turned to Geto and grabbed his arm. "See? He is good!—"

She's pretty naive if she thinks that… Satoru thought grimly.  After all, not even Utahime thought he was good, now that he thought about it… 

—I don't care how strong you think you are, you're not good… 

That was from the argument that opened his eyes to their crumbling bond, and even now all these months later, simply remembering her words stung… 

What are you up to now, Hime? I hope you're doing well… 

Satoru motioned back in the direction of the safe house. "We might as well head back to the damn tree, I need more information if I'm going to find your Familiar, and you can't come with, it'll be too dangerous." 

Thankfully, she didn't protest, and even though he didn't want to, Satoru ducked inside the safe house after Amanai and Geto once they returned to the large tree.

It was surprisingly spacious. The room he was standing in looked quite normal, save for all of the furniture looked like it was carved directly from the tree itself. 

Amanai moved to sit at a nearby table, while Geto stood just behind her. "I made a map of the surrounding region… I sense Kuroi's mana coming from the east foothills right here," she said, pointing to a spot on the map. "It's weak… I don't know how much longer she can hold on…"

"What does she look like?" Satoru asked wearily.

Amanai tapped her chin.  "Um, brown eyes, and dark brown hair. She was last wearing a black dress and a white apron– oh! And she wears her hair up in a bun."

"Got it…" he sighed heavily and crossed his arms as he looked at the map. It was crudely drawn, but he could read it well enough.  

"I'm risking a lot going after her, you know, right?" Satoru asked her. 

"That's okay, we'll come with you!" Amanai said. 

Satoru threw his head back and laughed. There was no way she was serious. This woman might only be three years younger than him, but she really was naive– probably severely sheltered. 

"What's so funny?!" She yelled angrily. 

"Ha! You! For a second I thought you said you were going to come with me," Satoru said through a laugh. "Especially after I just told you that you can't."

She crossed her arms. "I am!"

His smile fell. "Absolutely not."

"This distance between us has gotten her sick, I need to get to her as soon as possible,  or she's going to die! She is my responsibility!"

"And what a damn good job you've done already," Satoru snapped. 

Amanai gasped as if he just smacked her and looked up at her bodyguard as if he could somehow change his mind.

"I'm sorry, Lady Amanai, but the Wraith is right… you should stay here for your own safety," Geto said. 

Satoru scowled in annoyance. "Oi! You better stop disrespecting me like that,  I'm under contract by the king to bring Amanai back safely. Nowhere in that does it even mention her having a familiar— or a damn bodyguard for that matter."

Geto shot him a glare that Satoru met with one of his own. "Is that a threat, Wraith?"

"Tch, you tell me, clearly you know why I was sent here alone, do you really want to try me?" Satoru asked coldly. 

Amanai stood between them and gently pushed Geto back. "Suguru please, afford Master Gojo the same respect that I give him, he was sent here to help, please have faith in him, he just doesn't understand how important Kuroi is to me."

Geto sighed quietly and took a step back, "I will follow your lead, My Lady, but I only have faith in you," he said and bowed his head.

Satoru rolled his eyes. "Okay, back to my point, you're staying here,  Amanai."

She shook her head.  "I must come with you! She is in this situation because of me! I would have rescued her myself if I could!"

"But you can't, that's the thing, if something happens to you while we are out there, I'm fucked, okay? You have no idea how dangerous things can get in an instant," Satoru snapped angrily.

Amanai crossed her arms and looked him right in the eyes. "I am coming with you. Kuroi is more than just my Familiar, she is like family to me. I promised her she would not die alone. You might not understand something like that, but this is something that I must do," she said and turned to Geto. "Let us go, Suguru, I am sure Master Gojo will see sense and come along," she said and marched straight out of the safe house with Geto following right on her heels. 

Satoru sighed heavily and rubbed his temples. He would seal her in this damn tree if he wasn't worried about her managing to escape anyway. Either by her own means or with the help of her bodyguard. 

Annoyingly, he was already on thin ice with her. He had no idea she was going to be this difficult. Plus it was a different kind of difficult than he was used to… 

Utahime could be difficult, but no matter how hard headed she could be, she was always beholden to him. 

Amanai didn't have to answer to anyone, and she acted like it. 

She would be a damn spoiled brat… Satoru thought as he made his way out of the damn tree. It didn't help that her bodyguard seemed to have no willpower of his own seeing as how he crumbled to her demands so easily. 

Amanai's words reminded him of something Utahime said to him years ago, with the memory, the ghost of desperation and despair followed.

I'm safest with you, don't you agree? I want to be with you when I breathe my last…

He did understand the feeling… 

Amanai and Geto were standing just off to the side, and she was in the middle of once again telling him she was not going to back down. 

Satoru walked over and clapped his hands together.  "Okay! Let's just focus on finding her. Bickering isn't going to get us anywhere. It'll take awhile to get to where you say she might be… so in the meantime, you need to start learning to repress your mana, you're a walking lighthouse the way you are now," he said with a sigh.  "We're not going to be able to sneak in where they are holding her with you like that, so… prepare for a siege."

"Yes, I understand," Amanai said and clutched her hands together. "I'll forever be in your debt if we can bring her back safely."

He smirked. "Oh yeah? I'll hold you to that.  Guess I'm going to have to bring her back now."

Chapter Text

Ever since Utahime got her mind cleared from the charm she had been wearing, she went back to trying to smother her emotions on her own. She was just too emotional all the time, and she was constantly worried about stressing poor Shoko out.

Whenever her nerves grew to be too much, she'd subconsciously trace over the small white ribbon glued to her left middle finger.  It contained a trace of Gojo's mana, and it was enough to calm her— most days. 

On most days,  it made Utahime feel like he was still with her, like he was protecting her even when he was a whole ocean away. 

On most days,  Utahime felt comfort in tracing over the small infinity knot that decorated her finger.  It was the source of the shield that protected her, she knew it was, but she still did not understand what activated it. 

How did it work? Why did it activate sometimes, and other times, it did not?  Did it not activate beforehand because her EM charm interfered with it? 

Those were things she thought about on most days.  But every other time when she thought about Gojo, she would remember his latest announcement, and her mood would plummet… 

.

.

"Utahime, there's a few things I've been wanting to talk to you about."

Utahime looked up from her book at Shoko who was taking a seat across from her with a concerned look on her face.  

"Uh, is everything alright, Shoko?" Utahime asked warily. 

"Yes, of course… but I do have a few questions for you," Shoko said and set a small kettle of hot water on the table and a few tea cups as she cleared her throat.  "I wanna ask you about Gojo."

Utahime grimaced and tightened her grip on her book. She was tempted to shift to her cat form and run away.  

She didn't want to think about Gojo.

Ever since he left a few weeks ago, Gojo would flit into her mind at the most random times. It always put a damper on her mood too.

She felt guilty about it as well. She wanted to be happy for him, and she was, but at the same time, she was devastated… 

Gojo was betrothed to the King's great niece, who was, according to him,  the Star Goddess incarnate! 

It was a perfect match.  Utahime didn't think there was anyone else more fit in the entire realm to be Gojo's wife than a goddess… 

But why did it have to be the very goddess that she prayed to the most?

Utahime couldn't help but feel betrayed. She liked to think she was a very devout person. Though try as she might, she couldn't see this as anything else but a punishment from on high. 

Or perhaps it was more of a test. She should be happy for him, there should be no reason for her to lament over such a holy union… 

Shoko's voice pulled Utahime back to the conversation,  "I talked to Master Yaga about Familiars and bonds with witches… I didn't realize how much we can truly influence one another. There are spells around it, like special barrier spells, and apparently most witches write at least some form of a barrier in their contracts…" she took a sip from her drink and sighed. "Anyway, what I'm getting at is, when Gojo told us about his engagement… you felt sick… didn't you?"

Utahime frowned and looked down at her hands, ashamed.  "Y-Yeah…"

"Why?"

She shook her head and shut her eyes, praying that Shoko wouldn't press her on this. 

"Uta,  I thought about it after the fact, and I realized that I personally don't care if Gojo marries into the Royal Family, yeah he can be annoying, but I don't personally have much of an opinion on it, certainly not to the extent of feeling nauseous over it… Do you really dislike him that much? Did he abuse you? Is that why you get so agitated around him?" Shoko asked gently.  

Utahime looked up quickly, shocked.  "N-No! Gojo never hurt me! He was the best Master any Familiar could ever ask for!" She blurted defensively, determined to make sure his name wasn't soiled. 

Shoko's brows rose in surprise. "Sheesh, Uta, you didn't have to tell me to my face that I'm a subpar Master."

Utahime paled, horrified. "N-No! I didn't mean it like—"

"Gosh, I'm joking, Uta!" Shoko said and reached over and gently shook her by the shoulder.  "Goodness!" She laughed and shook her a bit more while Utahime steamed in embarrassment. "In any case, I'm glad he never hurt you," she said as she let her go. 

Utahime nodded and hung her head again. She couldn't believe she just did that. As if she hadn't learned her lesson already with Naoya not to blurt out the first thing on her mind… 

"So he was really good to you, huh?"  Shoko asked as she stirred her tea. 

Utahime nodded. "He is— w-was my best friend…"

"Hmm… the only other explanation I can think of is… you must be jealous," Shoko said as she carefully sipped her tea.

Utahime just gaped at her with a mixture of shock and horror. She didn't know what to say! Even if she tried to deny it, it wouldn't work. Shoko surely already felt the truth run through their bond… 

"Utahime… do you l—?"

"Shoko please don't!" Utahime begged as she jumped to her feet.  "Please, I beg you… don't speak it aloud… please, " she begged and clutched her hands together just like she did when she prayed.

Shoko's eyes were wide, and Utahime could tell she was beyond shocked. Utahime for her part was horrified. That Shoko connected the dots so easily should have surprised her, ignoring the fact that their feelings and emotions could now influence one another,  she was quite intelligent in her own right. 

"Oh my gods…" Shoko whispered and tried to reach for a cigarette but missed her pocket. "It makes so much sense now… wait actually no it doesn't!" She gasped and smacked her hand against the table. "Were you two– you know–?" She pulled a face and did some vulgar hand motions.

"No!" Utahime yelled, mortified. "He never did anything inappropriate!"

Shoko pointed at her. "Aha! But you did?"

"W-What?! N-No I— No!" 

"Hm, Sheesh… that feels like a lie, Utahime," Shoko said before gasping again. "Does he know?!"

Utahime frantically shook her head and sank to the floor, shifting to her cat form and curled up into a small ball. She was both mortified, and terrified that Shoko would not only grill her for more information, but have her punished as well. 

Shoko sighed quietly and sat down beside her. "Hey, Uta, don't be so scared. I'm not going to expose you, okay?" She gently assured her. 

Utahime looked up at her through the veil of tears blocking her vision. "You won't?"

"Of course not! Number one, you're my friend, and I'd never do that to you, and number two, can you imagine what Gojo would do if he got back to the castle only to find out you were executed?" She shook her head. "I mean you saw what he did just because Naoya threw you— I'm not downplaying your injuries of course— but he didn't even know everything he did to you at the time and he brought down the entire ceiling near the medical ward," she sighed and shook her head. "Are you sure there was nothing profane going on between you two? I've never heard of a witch being so protective over a Familiar that isn't even theirs— and I feel like the usual excuse of Gojo just being weird is a little weak in this scenario."

Utahime could only sit there and shake her head. "Nothing happened, I swear, Shoko!"

"Okay, Utahime, okay, don't freak out. I believe you," Shoko said and gently poked her paw. "There's nothing wrong with having a little crush on Gojo, I get it. Even though I'll never tell him to his face, he is quite handsome. And if he was as nice to you as you say, then it makes sense I suppose that you would grow an alternative attachment to him."

Alternative attachment? Utahime liked the phrasing much better. That's all it was right? An alternative attachment formed because of how unorthodox their bond had been… 

"I hope that the mission he is on is quite long, because I think distance will be good for you, it helped last time, in addition, I think you need a distraction, " Shoko said.  "Soo, I took the liberty to sign you up for some defensive classes!"

Utahime looked up at her in surprise. "What?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, you see Familiars are only permitted to learn certain spells based on the ranking of their Masters. Despite how strong he is, Gojo had one of the lowest ranks possible while he was at the castle because he was property to the crown at the end of the day.  However, my rank is quite high as the leading medic in the kingdom," she smiled. "I think it'll be good for you to learn how to properly defend yourself, hell, it might be fun too!"

Utahime gave her a wobbly smile. "O-Okay, when is the first lesson?"

"Today actually, it's taught by a friend of mine, Sir Nanami Kento, he's one of the King's weapon masters. Sir Yaga also says he's quite reliable, so I believe he's trustworthy," Shoko explained. 

Utahime sat up, a little excited over the idea of being permitted to learn more spells.  She knew how to brew quite a lot of potions, and could do basic spells and charms, but she never thought to ask Gojo to show her more advanced techniques because she never even imagined she would need it… 

Shoko took her outside to a small courtyard where a tall man in the kingdom uniform that Utahime could only assume was Master Nanami stood. He was blonde, but unlike Naoya's more golden tinted hair, Nanami's was more of a dirty blonde.  

As soon as he saw them he politely bowed his head. "Good afternoon Miss Shoko, it's been awhile, are you well?"

"Hello Sir Kento, I'm alright, lots going on lately, but what can you do?" Shoko said and gestured to Utahime. "This is my Familiar, Utahime."

He turned to her, and much to Utahime's shock he knelt in front of her and held his hand out. "It's nice to finally meet you, Utahime. I've heard a lot about you."

Utahime didn't know what to do! She never had anyone greet her like that before aside from Gojo. "H-Hello," she greeted quietly and hesitantly set her paw in his hand. 

Master Nanami gently shook her paw before standing up. "You'll be safe here, no need to be nervous."

"Alright! I'll see you around, Uta," Shoko said and gave her a simple wave as she walked away. "Thanks again, Sir Kento!"

Master Nanami turned to Utahime and held out a charm. "I'm going to perform a quick scan on you to analyze your mana levels, this will help me decide what kinds of spells you can successfully learn on your own."

"Oh, alright," Utahime said and sat up a bit straighter. She knew her own mana levels were very small,  but she let him scan her anyway just so he could do his job properly. 

"Alright, there are a few spells I can teach you, but unfortunately, you won't be able to safely perform most spells with your own mana reserves," Master Nanami said.  

Utahime nodded, her excitement unaffected as she was just eager to be able to learn more. 

"You'll need to shift into your human form, and don't worry, this is a training ground, you are permitted to do so out here," he said and gestured around. 

She only hesitated for a moment before she shifted to her human form.  She carefully smoothed her hands over her dress, grateful that she still chose to wear her most practical working dresses during the day. 

"Oh, can you read?" he asked suddenly. 

"Yes,  Sir."

"Then please fill this out," he said and handed her a clipboard.  "Only check what you know."

Utahime quickly looked it over and grabbed the pencil that was clipped to the board. It was a list of standard spells that were taught to most students that studied at the castle.

She unfortunately didn't know how to do many of the spells listed, but she knew that Gojo knew them. Many of the spells were so basic though that he didn't need to use them anymore. His own magic did the job much better. 

When Utahime finished filling out the paperwork she handed it back to Master Nanami and patiently waited for his next instruction while he looked it over. 

"I understand you used to study at the castle in the past?" He asked idly.

"Yes, Sir I did."

"Have you ever handled a weapon?" 

"Huh? Oh uh no, I haven't." Familiars weren't usually allowed to… unless that was also a rank privilege. 

"Well, you will learn that too," he said and turned around. "You can bring the trunk out," he called out behind him. 

Utahime curiously tilted her head as a wooden door opened up and someone rushed out with a medium sized trunk. He tripped as he neared them and dropped the trunk right at Master Nanami's feet before faceplanting.

"Oof!"

Master Nanami wasn't even phased. He just popped open the trunk and pulled out a long straight dagger. "Here," he said and held the handle out to Utahime. 

She hesitantly grabbed the blade and gasped to herself when she noticed how heavy it was.

"I will be showing you how to use that first since you already know all of the basic spells. I personally think this is more important to learn. A Familiar's job is to protect their Master… you must be prepared for anything… magic can fail you, and if that happens you must be ready to continue the fight," he gestured to his side as soon as the guy on the ground jumped to his feet. "This is Haibara… he maintains the training grounds when I'm out on missions."

Haibara stuck out his hand.  "Hiya Miss! It's nice to meet you!"

Utahime was a bit taken aback by his enthusiastic energy when his appearance suggested the opposite. 

He had an eye patch on his left eye, and his left arm looked like it was made out of solid metal or even glass of some kind. 

"Hello," Utahime greeted him in return with a polite smile and carefully put her hand in his. 

He bowed his head before letting her hand go.  "I'll be your training partner! No need to be shy, when we're done here you'll be shocked by how strong you are!" Haibara said. 

Nanami put her through many drills that she just wasn't used to doing. It was quite exhausting, but as tired as she was by the end of the session, she was nothing but excited for her next lesson.  

It felt good, being allowed to do things that she used to not be allowed to do. She liked the idea of being able to hold her own in a fight. She looked forward to not being weak. 

She could never really change her own mana levels, but she could train her body, and now that she was given a glimpse into the possibilities, she was determined to succeed.

Utahime's hands were trembling when she collapsed on the ground,  panting and exhausted. To her surprise, Haibara, who had done all the drills with her, only broke a small sweat. 

"I'm going to take her to get something to eat," Haibara said as he quickly ran around the courtyard to tidy it up. 

Master Nanami nodded and grabbed his clipboard to take some notes.

"By the way! I think you should give her a different weapon," Haibara suggested.

"Like?" 

"Mh, I'll have to think about it, I'll let you know by her next lesson—"

"Which will be tomorrow," Master Nanami said. 

"Right then! Tomorrow I'll let you know!"

"Fine."

Haibara grinned and ran over to Utahime and motioned for her to follow him. "Let's go!" He said, and shifted into a dark brown labrador and took off bounding across the courtyard.

Utahime gasped in surprise and turned to Master Nanami and politely bowed in farewell before shifting herself and darting after Haibara. 

I suspected he was a Familiar! Utahime thought as she caught up to him. Why didn't Master Nanami mention it? Does he not belong to him?

He led her to the small, plain dining hall that Familiars were permitted to freely use and shifted back into his human form at the door. 

Utahime followed suit and adjusted her hair and dress when she was back in her human form.  

"Today they are serving rice— rice is my favorite! You can do so much with it," he said as he held the door open for her. "After you, Miss!"

Utahime blushed, thrown off by the gesture. The last time anyone held the door open for her was Gojo… her heart sank. She'd managed to go the whole day without thinking about him only for his face to flood her psyche with a vengeance.

She bit her lip and quietly thanked him before walking inside the hall. 

Haibara sat with her once they got their food, a bowl of plain rice and a small  bowl of chicken. It smelled amazing, and her stomach growled in agreement. 

"How did you like today's lesson? I know Master Nanami comes off quite stern, but he's actually super nice!" Haibara said. 

"Well… he seems very… Responsible…" Utahime offered lamely, not really sure what to say. "Is he your Master?"

He shook his head. "No, otherwise I wouldn't be able to watch over the training grounds when he is away,  could I?"

Even though his tone was genuine, Utahime was still embarrassed she forgot such a detail. Having spent her whole life at Gojo's side, she never needed to consider that risk… 

"O-Of course, I'm sorry…"

He smiled and shook his head. "No worries! He used to be though! But… I caused him to fail a mission we were on…" his smile faltered slightly. "It was quite an important one too… I should have died, but he saved me… when we got back to the castle I was supposed to be put to death for my failure, but Master Nanami stuck his neck out for me… 

"He explained that I did the most important job a Familiar has…" he stared at his metallic hand. "Told His Highness that I saved his life– evidence by my injuries. Which I guess is true… I did push him out of the way of an attack meant for him… but I still wonder… Anyway! Thanks to him sticking up for me, I was given mercy, but I was forced to retire, and our contract was broken. He helped me get the job at the training fields… the first two years I was to work without pay, but now I make just enough to send home to my sister so she can buy herself  treats if I skip breakfast on the weekends."

Utahime was floored by his story. Her heart aching for him when she thought about how terrified he must have been to be facing death, even more so when she looked at his old injuries. 

"Your arm… that was from that mission?" Utahime whispered, curious about it, but not wanting to pry too much. 

He made a fist and nodded.  "Yeah… my eye too…" he smiled brightly and looked up at her. "Speaking of my arm, I've always wanted to meet you so I could thank you!" 

Utahime frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I still have it… hang on," he said and dug in his pockets and pulled out a small,  flat box the size of his hand. "I usually keep it in my room, but when I heard I was going to get to meet you, I brought it with me!" He took out a folded piece of paper and opened it up. "Do you remember this?" He asked as he handed it to her. 

She immediately recognized Gojo's elegant cursive, and her heart once again jumped to her throat. 

Old man Yaga, 

I can't in good conscience accept such an enormous sum for such a commission given what happened to the kid's poor Familiar. I think of my dear Hime, and I can't even imagine what I would do if she suffered a similar fate.  

Unfortunately, I can't do this for free. As much as I think Hime would like it if I did, I vowed never to work for free again, and we're in another financial bind at the moment due to our latest order of materials being lost at sea.  All that to say, I will do this commission for seventy five percent less than offered. 

Tell the kid not to give up, he may be broken, and weak, but he is stronger now more than ever. My dear Hime and I will craft him something worthy of his sacrifice.

 

—Gojo Satoru &

Utahime 🐾

As Utahime read over the words her heart grew heavier as memories resurfaced. Gojo always had her sign everything beside his name with her own signature. Sometimes she read the letters to make sure he didn't say anything inappropriate, but this one she didn't read. 

She did however help Gojo develop the spell that enchanted Haibara's metal arm.

She remembered this commission now that she thought about it. It was a few months after her disastrous twentieth birthday… 

Gojo never took commissions from the Crown, but he accepted Master Yaga's without a second thought. 

Our favorite old man needs our help! 

She knew they were tasked with making a prosthetic arm, but at the time, Utahime thought it was for a wounded Sorcerer, not a Familiar. 

Gojo was rarely careful when he made new things, but Utahime remembered being surprised he took this commission so seriously. 

They traveled together to the mountains to look for a rare crystal said to absorb mana from the environment. Commonly referred to as a star fragment, the crystal was extremely rare and difficult to transport without shattering.  

Some called the crystal, goddess amber, as they believed it was the crystallized form of the Star Goddess's tears, or blood depending on the tale. Utahime partially believed it too because the crystal gave off a soft gold or silver light, depending on each individual sample. 

It was delicate in its unrefined form, and many witches failed to properly utilize it for anything other than basic charms— though even then, finding a legitimate sample was rarer still. 

It took them weeks to find enough material for the project, and even longer to perfect the skill needed to melt it down without destroying it. They ended up mixing it with mythril, a rare magical metal used by elves in the old era. 

Utahime still remembered how shocked she had been when Gojo got his hands on an ingot of the mythical metal. And now that she thought back on it, his response to her question confused her. 

'Why not just make it from steel or wood? Why are you going to such lengths?

'Because, Hime-dear, that would be too easy! Besides… I want to test my abilities. I want to know what I can do, if I ever need to do this for you… '

Then he'd grinned and stuck his arm into the molten metal to make the mold. Even though she knew he had cast infinity right before, she still screamed in shock when he did that. 

Don't worry Hime-dear, I know what I'm doing~!

But of course she still worried, even while she maintained the magic circle needed to refine the metal while he delicately shaped the arm with his bare hands to give it a unique shape while it still glowed white hot. 

The finished product was a true work of art,  a one of a kind prosthetic forged both from nature's most fragile yet magical crystal, and its most rare and strong metal. It was refined and enchanted with care by the Great Genius Sorcerer, Gojo Satoru's own two hands. 

She never knew he made it at such a large discount… 

Utahime carefully gave Haibara back the letter even though she selfishly wanted to keep it simply because it had Gojo's handwriting on it.  

"Master Yaga let me keep the letter after he read it to me… It was the best compliment I've been given my entire life… knowing that such a powerful Sorcerer thought I was brave?" His eye filled with tears. "It gave me so much hope for my future…"

Utahime didn't really know what to say. Knowing that Gojo had even referred to her in letters so informally at one point was a little embarrassing. 

But more importantly, she was touched that he went to such great lengths to craft such a special prosthetic for a Familiar of all people. 

"Gojo— ahem, Master Gojo had used his own arm as a base to make the cast for this," Utahime whispered as she hesitantly reached for Haibara's arm. 

He happily held his arm out to her. "Really? Gosh I had no idea! Do you know what it's made of?"

Utahime bit her lip and shamelessly inspected the hand. She knew he had altered it before it was complete to personalize it more, so it didn't look like an exact replica of Gojo's arm— but she could still see certain details that reminded her of him… 

Like the way the faint veins climbed up the arm,  eternally etched in the magical material. Or the way the bone of the wrist was shaped… 

There was also the fact that his— and her— magic was clearly woven through it… 

"I um… I do know what is made out of," Utahime admitted as she let his hand go.  "But I promised Master Gojo I would not reveal his secrets, I'm sure you understand."

His eyes widened. "Oh shoot! Of course I do! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize."

"That's okay," Utahime said and forced a smile. "How has it been working for you?"

"Perfectly to be honest, most days, I don't even notice it's not my real arm."

"Really? So can you feel things with it?" She asked curiously, the minute details of the prosthetic unknown to her. 

She had been too focused on maintaining the spell and flame to remember much aside from how zoned in Gojo had been while he worked on the molten crystal. 

"Sort of? I'm not sure if it's my mind playing tricks on me, or if there is really something there, but I do feel through it. However it is very faint. Still, it's a miraculous work," Haibara said and made a fist. "It even shifts with me! But I'm sure you knew that. Thank you so much,  you really saved my life."

In truth, she hadn't known it had that capability, and didn't even notice when he shifted earlier. "You shouldn't be thanking me, you should thank Master Gojo… he's the one that crafted it, not me."

"Well,  I do plan to thank him if I ever get to meet him, but I think you deserve my thanks too. You were his Familiar at the time, weren't you? I'm sure you helped too," Haibara said.

She wanted to insist that she had no real part in making the prosthetic for him, but she let it go. She was tired, both physically and mentally. Her social battery was dead, and as nice as Haibara was, she just wanted to be alone now. 

Utahime smiled and collected her empty dishes and stood up.  "Well, I should get going now, I'm very exhausted. I'm not used to such intense physical activity."

"Right, of course, uh, do you want me to walk you back to your quarters?" Haibara offered.

She shook her head. "No thank you, I'll be alright. It was nice to meet you!"

"It was nice to meet you too Miss Utahime!"

She forced another tired smile before hurrying to put her dishes away and leave the hall.

Utahime shifted back to her cat form when the doors closed behind her, and she tiredly walked off towards Shoko's room. 

Halfway there she heard some hushed voices arguing approaching her, and Utahime quickly jumped behind a statue decorating the hallway to hide. She recognized one of the voices, and the feel of the mana that filled the hall a beat later made her fur stand on end. 

"Look, I don't give a damn how risky it is!" Naoya said to the man beside him. "Contact him, offer him however much money he wants."

"Lord Zen'in… he won't accept the commission. After the clan disowned him, he vowed to never associate with them again," the other man, another Sorcerer said. 

Naoya stopped walking a few paces away from where Utahime was hiding.  "Which is precisely why you're going to pay our benefactors to commission him in our stead. He'll do anything for the right price. As far as I see it, there is no way we can lose. If he wins, then my plan can move forward unhindered. If he loses, well that's a win for the family because he'll be sent to hell where he belongs," he chuckled darkly.  "And if they kill each other? Well, even better!"

"Alright… I'll see that it's done," the other man said. 

"Perfect, don't bother me again unless it is to confirm that he's started the hunt, got it?"

"Yes, Sir," the man said and rushed away in the direction he came. 

Naoya sighed heavily and cleared his throat.  "You know… you've broken so many rules since you've returned, it's a wonder you still live— Kolþerna!"

Utahime gasped in horror and seconds later the statue she was hiding behind shattered into tiny pieces, causing her to fall.

The rubble fell on top of her, but it was blocked from crushing her by that same iridescent barrier that protected her in the past. 

" Tch , how bothersome," he grumbled and put his hand on the hilt of his sword but seemed to think better of it and dropped his hand to the side. "As much as I'd like to, if I tested the extent of that damn contract, my plans might go up in smoke…" he scowled and stepped away. "Why you? I don't understand it… though I guess I should be thanking you, because if it wasn't for you… none of what I've set in motion would take place. You've given me a prime opportunity."

Utahime could only stare up at him in fear, too terrified to move a muscle or figure out what he was talking about. 

"Go on, keep on breaking rules and doing as you please, because soon, you will learn, soon, you will get your dues," Naoya sneered before turning on his heel and swiftly walking down the hall. 

Still nervous that he might come back and try to harm her again,  Utahime stayed put under the rubble until her heartbeat somewhat calmed before darting out towards Shoko's room. 

When she got to her room, Shoko was sitting by the window with a cup of coffee and a book. 

"Welcome back, Uta! How was your lesson? I've got the feeling it was intense," Shoko said with a small smile. 

Utahime held her tongue. She wanted to tell her about what happened with Naoya, but she could sense how hopeful Shoko was, so she buried her unease and did her best to smile. 

"I actually had fun! Master Nanami is going to teach me how to use a weapon as well!" Utahime said instead. 

Her eyes widened. "Wow really? That's great, Uta!"

"Y-Yeah…"

Chapter Text

"Okay, does everyone understand the plan?" Satoru asked as he tossed the stick in his hand aside. On the ground was a crude drawing of the map of where Kuroi was being held just up the road. 

Tracking her down was easy enough, but going to get her wasn't expected to be as easy. He could sense many other sources of mana inside the compound, but whether or not they belonged to anyone good at magic was yet to be seen. 

"Yes of course, Master Gojo!" Amanai said. 

Satoru glanced at Geto and he just stared at him in return until Amanai cleared her throat. 

" Yes ," Geto said, not bothering to hide his annoyance. 

Satoru glared at him, his patience wearing thin. He didn't like how he was still disrespecting him, even after he had warned him.

Shaking his head, Satoru crossed his arms and gestured with his head behind him. "I'm heading in, wait for my signal before following," he said and turned around, but paused before he took a step. "Oh! I forgot to ask, what shape does she take in her beast form?" He asked as he turned back to Amanai.

Her eyes lit up. "Oh, right!  Kuroi takes the form of a doe! She's quite pretty!"

He smiled wryly, "Got it," he said and rushed down the hill overlooking the hideout.

It had taken just about a day to track Kuroi's location, and now that he was on his way to rescue her, he was feeling a little anxious, but he forced away those concerns. He had a job to do, and it wouldn't do for him to get distracted. 

The hideout was located in what looked like an abandoned farm. The surrounding land was overgrown, and the few buildings on the property were run down. 

There were small tents set up around the main house, and a few more near an old grist mill. That was where he sensed Kuroi's mana coming from. 

Satoru snuck as close as he could to the perimeter without tripping off any traps or alarms and crouched down in the tall, overgrown wheat field to hide. 

He absently checked the mana focuser in his hand for the nth time. It still felt awkward to use, but he wasn't sure if it was because of how mechanical it made his mana feel, or if it was just his own lack of control.

Either way, it felt wrong, and that made him nervous. He never used to plan so extensively before going into battle. He didn't need to. Things were different now though. He was alone. 

Normally, he'd storm the damn place and be done with it, but now he decided it might be a good idea to sneak in—at least as much as he could. 

There was a guard standing by the entrance of the mill that had on an awkward looking helmet. It looked more like a bucket than anything. Satoru picked up a rock and hesitantly dropped his infinity spell so he could enchant it. 

He whispered the enchantment under his breath and carefully threw it to the side. The rock flew straight into the air and circled the mill once before flying towards the guard's head at just the right angle to make it look like someone to his left threw it at him. 

The guard grunted and turned to his comrade that was just walking by. "Oi! What the hell was that for?!"

The other guard stopped walking. "You talking to me like that??"

"Oh, don't act coy now! Throwing shit are ya? What, got nothing better to do?"

Satoru grabbed a blade of grass and whispered a response in the second guard's voice before blowing it over to him. "I've got plenty better to do than you! Standing around all day, slacking!"

The first guard scoffed. "Excuse me? And what have you done all day? Putz around like a drunk?"

"Drunk?! What are—"

Satoru copied the first guard's voice next. "Yes! Just like your mum! The dirty broad could never walk straight with how wasted she was e'ery night!"

The second guard charged at the first and they collided into a heap of shouts and fists.

Rolling his eyes, Satoru took the opportunity to quietly slip into the unguarded mill, being careful to shut the door behind him. 

As soon as he could, he quickly recast infinity and surveyed the room and cursed under his breath. 

The interior of the mill looked more like the inside of an old manor than a mill. 

"Just my luck," he grumbled and slowly drew his sword as he walked down the hallway ahead of him.  He wasn't sure yet if the manor was simply disguised as a mill or if the mill was altered into a kind of dungeon. 

Disguising a manor as a mill would be an easier spell to manage, and it would be easier to navigate. If this was a true dungeon, things could get ugly fast, though he had a feeling it wasn't one.

Dungeons gave off quite a lot of energy. They were known as 'mana consumers' because they absorbed the mana of those that got lost and died inside them. 

I should have practiced that invisibility spell more… he thought with a sigh.  

Even so, he was lucky enough that the majority of the rooms he snuck passed were empty. It seemed most of the idiots were outside at the moment, which meant he could use this as a prime opportunity to get to Kuroi without causing a scene. 

Tracing her mana, Satoru ventured further into the manor until he found the room they were keeping her in, on the third floor. 

The room was at the end of a long hallway where two goons were standing guard. Deciding to try his luck, Satoru ran his hand through his hair to try and tame it a bit and waltz right up to the guards. 

"Boss needs you two outside, erm— somethin' 'bout a new plan," he said as nonchalantly as he could. 

They looked at each other and took a step away before quickly turning back to him. "Hold on a second!"

Satoru lunged forward and hit one on the head with his scabbard, knocking him down, before quickly smashing the hilt into the second guy's head. 

He gave them born a kick to make sure they stayed down before rushing down the hall to the room Kuroi had to be in.  

Unfortunately he had to drop infinity to cast a spell to unlock the door, and right before he recast it the door swung open and a blast of fire  exploded out at him. 

The flames scorched his arm and face, and he jumped back in alarm. The pain was far worse than being stabbed, and his vision momentarily blanked out. Panicked, he quickly cast his barrier seconds before another ball of fire was hurled at him. 

 Satoru drew his sword and pushed into the room, using the enchanted blade to cut through the fire and through the man that summoned the flames. 

He heard a shriek, and he spun around to see a woman chained to the wall wearing a servants dress. 

No one else was in the room so he kicked the door shut and quickly drew a magic circle on the ground with the guard's blood. 

He cast his best healing spell and closed his eyes to grit his teeth as the pain of the burn momentarily worsened before the spell worked into his skin and healed and smoothed the burn away.  

He sighed in relief and ran his hands over his face as the ghost of the pain clung to the back of his psyche. His skin still felt tender, but he was going to have to deal with it for now. 

"You are Kuroi, yes?" Satoru asked as he turned to the woman. 

"Who are you?" She demanded firmly. 

"Okay," he said to himself and moved to the window to send the signal, a thin beam of light, to let Geto know it was safe to bring Amanai over.  

He moved over to Kuroi to untie her, and a few minutes later Amanai burst into the room with Geto on her heels. 

"Kuroi!" She sobbed out as she threw herself into Kuroi's arms. 

"Lady Amanai!" Kuroi exclaimed back in relief.

Satoru stood back and watched as Amanai sobbed in Kuroi's arms while the older woman gently petted her hair and squeezed her tight. 

Watching them made him feel odd, he felt a sharp pang in his chest.  

Memories of his younger self curled up in bed, covered in bruises and other such injuries from brutal training resurfaced. Those nights always ended with Utahime wrapping her arms around him, holding him close, whispering words of encouragement… 

Utahime… 

Frowning, Satoru turned away from the two women, feeling like he was watching something he shouldn't.  

"You need not display your prejudice so clearly, Wraith," Geto said at his side. "You can afford to accept Lady Amanai's gentle heart. Miss Kuroi practically raised her, their bond is unlike any other."

Satoru turned to him, originally intending to snap at him, but that died when he processed what Geto just said. She raised her? 

"That kind of behavior is illegal in the capital, you know that, right?"

He crossed his arms. "Of course I do,  the land that M'lady hails from follows similar laws. However, Lady Amanai would not be here if not for Miss Kuroi. I'm sure you can make an exception."

"Contrary to what you obviously believe, I don't care how close those two are," Satoru said, sounding more tired than annoyed. 

Geto's brows rose in surprise. "Oh? So why do you frown so deeply when you look at them?" 

Satoru glanced at the two women and once again felt the pang in his chest. "What did it feel like… to lose two of your Familiars? Do you still feel their absence?" He asked quietly. 

Geto tensed and looked away from him. "I felt their deaths as if it were my own…but the pain only lasted for the moment."

"And what about now?" Satoru prompted, his eyes still trained on how Kuroi gently rubbed Amanai's back while she cried. 

"Well… that's hard to explain…" he mumbled before clearing his throat. "It's quite inappropriate to be asking something like that."

Satoru didn't really care. "I thought you wanted me to understand Amanai."

Geto sighed. "She is a special case… she is far more capable of compassion and care than me."

"So you didn't care that they died?" Satoru asked, grim.

"I did… But I cared like how any other witch would — you seem to have not had one yourself, but surely you've had a pet at some point in your life, yes?" Geto asked. 

Satoru just about scoffed, the only thing stopping him was the confusion.  Was this is man really comparing his Familiars to pets? "Pets?" Satoru echoed quietly. 

"Yes, you care for them, feed them, provide them shelter, etc, but at the end of the day the loss is not like the loss of an equal, another witch," Geto explained. 

Satoru frowned deeply. This was the first time he heard someone compare a Familiar to a pet . Typically, they were compared to tools , objects even.

The problem was he didn't think he ever had a pet , so he couldn't quite grasp what Geto was saying. He did however occasionally feed the carrier pigeons up in the mail tower with Utahime… was that the same? 

"So what about Kuroi?" Satoru asked, still confused. "Does Amanai see her as a pet?"

"Lady Amanai's heart is full, she has much to give. She sees both beast and witch as equal beings, all life has the potential to be her family, whether or not that be a simple mouse, human or anything in between," Geto said.

Satoru bit the inside of his cheek. He turned over what Geto said in his mind over and over, but he wasn't sure how to feel about it. 

He never would have made the comparison on his own. Utahime wasn't like the simple minded pigeons they fed as children, she was a person. Why did it matter that she had a beast form?

Then again… 

You just don't pet people like how he used to pet her… you only did that with animals… with, well, pets.

Maybe he'd been misguided before. Maybe equating Utahime to a pet was what he should have been doing all along. After all, you can't be equal with a being that you can easily command, can you? 

Just because he chose not to enforce his will on Utahime, didn't mean she was any better than any other Familiar…right? 

At the end of the day, he could have, at the end of the day, she was a tool, one he chose to care for… like a pet… 

Still… the thought just didn't feel right. 

"Okay, okay, okay,  enough water works ladies, we have to get the hell out of here," Satoru said and opened the window. It was the easiest way out. 

.

.

Escaping the compound was far too easy for Satoru's liking. It put him on edge. Things never went as smooth as that. Sure he got severe burns, but he healed those up, and he was good as new… almost. His skin still felt hot to the touch, but he couldn't do much else about it. 

Deciding to play it safe, he cast a cloaking spell to hide their tracks as they escaped into the forest.

He wanted to get back as soon as possible, and that meant trudging through the thick trees through the night, but Amanai complained about being hungry, and tired… 

Before he knew it he was out voted three to one in camping out for the night. 

It was irritating, but he couldn't exactly force all three of them to move, so he cast a barrier around their makeshift camp sight.

"I'm going to catch something for us to eat," Satoru grumbled, annoyed still from having to stay in one spot for the night. 

"Oh! I don't eat meat," Amanai said.

He face palmed, leading to an awkward silence. 

Kuroi stood up. "I'll find you something to eat, M'lady."

"N-No, I don't want you going off on your own anymore!" Amanai blurted out.

Satoru sighed and rubbed his temples. "Whatever, I'll find you some rabbit food then," he grumbled and trudged off into the forest. 

Despite jumping at every little sound in the night, he managed to find just enough edible fruits and mushrooms for Amanai,  though he did throw in random bits of grass and acorns just to be petty. Kuroi could go a few days without food, and it looked like he and Geto would also be skipping out on meals. 

It wasn't like he never went hungry before though, so he wasn't concerned.

"Here," Satoru grumbled and shoved the cloth he stored everything in onto Amanai's lap. 

"O-Oh thank you, Master Gojo," she said, and carefully went through the food he gathered. 

Geto sat beside her and silently offered to clean everything for her with some water he conjured up and picked out the inedible bits Satoru tossed in there, though not before throwing him a glare. 

Satoru just shrugged and silently sat against a nearby tree. They opted not to light a campfire since they weren't going to use it to cook anyway, and the light would only attract the assassins looking for Amanai. As a result though, the chill of the night quickly turned his hands and feet numb. 

Kuroi shifted to her beast form, which was in fact a deer, a doe to be exact. She sat behind Amanai, and curled up against her to keep warm. 

Watching the three of them sit together like that made him feel out of place, like he was intruding on something. 

He was frustrated, and angry, but it was directionless, which only frustrated him more. 

He could hear them whispering amongst themselves, the exact words lost to him, but the light hearted tone was still there, the giggles from Amanai and Kuroi, the fond smiles from Geto as he spoke to the two women. 

Satoru grimaced and looked down at the device on his hand. The metal was cold, much like he was now. He could see his breath in the night coil in front of him like smoke. 

He absently rubbed his neck, half expecting to feel something thick and soft comfortably draped around his neck, only to find nothing there, knowing nothing would be there, yet still feeling disappointed… 

Geto said something to Amanai that made her laugh again,  it was a short, cute, scratchy little laugh, but the longer she laughed the more Satoru was reminded of a different kind of laugh. The one he heard in the back of his mind was more musical, like a song,  a sweet melody that carried the same kind of nostalgia as the gentle coo of morning doves…  

Amanai lightly smacked Geto's arm and Satoru once again looked away as his chest tightened. 

" Suguru , that's ridiculous!" Amanai said, just loud enough for Satoru to hear from across the small space that felt even wider than it truly was. 

He didn't hear Geto's response, but that was probably because he was hearing something much louder in his head. 

Gojo! You mustn't say things like that! 

Ugh! You're so dumb! 

Very funny! 

I like how your dimples show when you smile…

His face felt hot all of a sudden and he bit his lip. That had been the first time in a very long time Utahime had said anything nice about him.  Even though it was only because he insisted she do so, and there was a chance she only said those things because he may have influenced her some how…  He wanted to believe she meant it.

He looked up and caught the way Amanai casually smoothed Geto's hair down after a strong wind— and for a beat Amanai's blue eyes were bright amber, for a moment her rounded top lip had a pouty cupid's bow… 

He looked away again, focusing instead on how blue his fingers were turning. Unfortunately, his mind wouldn't shut up… 

Utahime used to do that to him a lot, especially if he had a rough day… he never needed to tell her when he did, she just knew. 

He spent the last few months blocking it all out, keeping as busy as possible, even taking potions to keep his mind blank… Now all he could do was think… 

About how she sang to herself while she did chores,  or about how she used to dance alone in the garden… 

And the one time he took her dancing… 

It was for her twentieth birthday… he didn't remember much from that evening once they got to the tavern. He'd gotten pretty wasted, but he still remembered how her hair whirled around her when she spun. He remembered her pretty laugh, and he remembered how much he liked her smile too… 

That tightness in his chest moved to his throat and it began to burn. 

He tried like hell to force the memories away, but he couldn't, and the pain remained. Even though it had been a few months already since he severed their bond, he was still not used to it, the loneliness . He felt Utahime's absence more vividly now than ever. 

Gods, he missed her. He tried not to think about it, but the memories wouldn't leave him alone. It was really messing him up too.

He wanted to go back. Back to what they had when he first opened the shop… 

He didn't care if it was wrong or improper or if he made him fucking sick. He was happy back then, and he'd give anything to have that again… 

The only problem was, he had nothing else left of value to give… 

You're pathetic,  he thought grimly and shoved the heels of his palms into his eyes, blaming the sting on how much his eyes were straining without his enchanted sunglasses… 

.

.

The comfort the morning brought came only with the knowledge that they'd get back on the road.  Satoru hadn't slept a wink, too occupied with watching his surroundings to want to relax, even though Geto had offered to take the next watch. 

"We've got a lot of ground to make up," Satoru snapped in annoyance, and nearly shoved Amanai onto his horse. "We can't keep making stops."

"I'm sorry, Master Gojo," Amanai said, but he didn't spare her a glance as he trudged ahead. 

It took about a day to find Kuroi, and a day to get through the forest, without breaks. Which meant it would take them at minium two extra days to make it back to the seaside town he started off in. The boat should still be there if it hasn't been compromised yet, and the boat trip itself took about two weeks… 

He was impatient to get back. 

Once again, he cursed the fact that he couldn't teleport properly without hurting himself, let alone bringing other people with him… 

A few hours later Amanai's stomach loudly growled, cutting through the surrounding silence. She gasped and clutched at her middle, her cheeks flushed red. 

"Oh, don't mind me! I can… I can wait!" She insisted. 

"No that's okay, we can take a small break. I sense a river nearby, we can probably catch some fish for all of us to eat," Geto said. 

Satoru glared at him. "We're not stopping again, do you have any idea how much danger she's in right now? We can't afford to—"

"Aren't you the best Sorcerer the kingdom has to offer? I'm sure with yours, and my skills we can protect Lady Amanai just fine," he shot back. 

Satoru pursed his lips in annoyance but relented. He told himself it was because he was really fucking hungry himself, but in reality it was more than that. He was exhausted, in every way one could be. 

This entire time they were traveling he had been trying to maintain a modified barrier over Amanai. She still couldn't manage to suppress her mana, so he cast the spell to try and hide her presence. That unfortunately left him vulnerable, which heavily grated on his psyche.

The river wasn't too far away, and as soon as they got to the waters edge, Amanai clumsily jumped off the horse and ran over to splash in the water. 

Satoru just watched her in disbelief. How could she be so carefree knowing what kind of situation she was in? Was she really that shealtered? Or was she actually an airhead?

"Please have patience with Lady Amanai, Master Gojo," Kuroi quietly said at his side, she was in her human form, and had her hands neatly folded in front of her.  "She's still quite young."

He scoffed and crossed his arms. "We're like the same age."

She stared at him with wide eyes for a few beats. "Then you are quite young as well."

He rolled his eyes. "That means nothing. How does she not know how dangerous things are right now?"

"Are you not here to ensure her safety?" Kuroi asked, her head tilted curiously. 

Satoru grimaced and turned to watch Amanai help Geto while he tried to catch some fish, though she was really only getting in the way. "You can't also be that naive. Things can go to shit in an instant, I'll protect her with my life of course, but that doesn't mean she has to make it hard for me."

"She doesn't mean to… please trust me.  Lady Amanai is well aware how dangerous things are right now…" she placed her hand over her heart. "I feel her sorrow. She knows… how could she not? Her mother and father were murdered right before her very eyes," Kuroi said, quiet, sad. 

Satoru felt a little guilty. "Oh… I didn't know."

"Hm, yes… she only survived because Master Geto took her away just in time…" 

"And you?"

"I was doing laundry when the incident occurred… Master Geto grabbed me before we escaped the estate together."

Satoru sighed and leaned back against the tree behind him. "What's his angle anyway? He hates me, and we've never even met before."

Kuroi shook her head slowly and sat down on the ground, carefully folding her shirt under her. "I don't believe he hates you. He is just very protective of Lady Amanai… he's been her personal guard since she could walk. Ever since he was a child, he was trained to protect her."

"Hm… well he needs to lighten up. I'm not going to hurt her," Satoru sighed and silently watched as Amanai proudly caught a little fish. "Thought she didn't eat meat," he grumbled, not really expecting an answer.

Kuroi laughed softly. "She doesn't count fish."

"Hm," he mumbled mostly to himself. She would be a picky eater, he thought, annoyed. 

She fell silent, and Satoru went back to watching, watching Geto specifically and how he steadied Amanai with a hand on her waist, and how he laughed when she threw a tiny fish at his face… 

"Did you know Geto sees you as a pet?" Satoru suddenly asked Kuroi. 

When she didn't say anything he moved to look at her face. She wasn't frowning like he expected, though she did look somewhat puzzled.

"I see…" was all she finally said. 

"That's it?" He asked, surprised. He couldn't imagine a scenario where Utahime wouldn't be outraged by that… unless… he was just remembering her incorrectly… 

"What do you expect me to say, Master Gojo? Master Geto has always been kind and considerate towards me. I am very lucky to know him," Kuroi said. 

"So… Do you think Amanai also sees you as a pet?" He prompted.

She shook her head. "I don't believe so, though to be honest, this is the first time I've even thought about that. I'm not really concerned about how I'm seen. My only concern is for Lady Amanai's health and happiness."

Satoru sighed heavily and sat down beside her. He wasn't sure what it was, but something about Kuroi's presence was quite… comforting.  "I never expected the Star Goddess incarnate to be so… I dunno… normal?" He said as he watched Amanai give up on fishing to try and skip rocks across the wide river bank.

A soft smile spread across Kuroi's face, her eyes focused on Amanai as she giggled when Geto tried to show her how to throw the rock, only to fail himself.  "She is but a normal girl… this awakening as everyone is calling it is ridiculous…" 

Satoru turned towards her in interest. "How so?"

"Hm… tell me, Master Gojo, what do you know about awakenings?" Kuroi asked. 

He shrugged, thinking of Shoko, as she was the only confirmed witch in the kingdom to experience such a rare phenomenon. "Uh… a witch experiences a near death incident and gains a power up," or in Shoko's case, access to magic in general.  

Kuroi shook her head. "Not quite… a true awakening can only occur if the witch in question dies. It is not a near death experience, it is true death. The heart, mind,  and soul dies, and only then can the chance of an awakening occur. This is why there is so much legend attached to the concept, it is a true miracle. So few witches have actually achieved a true awakening that we have no way of properly studying the phenomenon.

"And perhaps, we're not meant to. An awakening is also known as a second life, it is a holy resurrection, a blessing from the gods…" Kuroi said, her hands clenched together as if in prayer. 

"Erm..  I take it you are quite religious?" Satoru asked, curious. 

She shook her head. "No—well… it… it's complicated… I used to be, but ever since this whole fiasco started with Lady Amanai I've—"

 "You don't believe Amanai is the Star Goddess? That sounds kind of blasphemous to me," Satoru cut in, not accusatory, just genuinely wanting to know.  

Kuroi frowned and shot him a pointed look before looking back at the water. "I never said that, she just did not even have a near death experience, so I merely believe nothing about her has changed, in fact, nothing could have changed, I certainly haven't felt anything different about her."

Satoru glanced back over to where Amanai was, laughing about something. "Has her mana always been so vast? It might even be close to mine…" he admitted under his breath. 

"She's always had a large pool of mana," Kuroi said, frowning. "But it did recently spike randomly, though I'm not sure why."

"Any weird spells or hexes or anything?"

She shook her head. "No, nothing, she is still the sweet girl that I nourished upon my own breast, it matters not who or what the world wishes her to be."

Satoru's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, did I hear that right?" She said she nursed Amanai? Like as a baby? 

Kuroi's jaw tensed, but that was the only tell that suggested she was uncomfortable. "I— yes… you did." 

"I wouldn't repeat that… ever again… that's the kind of thing that will get you hung in the capital… or worse," Satoru said grimly. "I'm shocked her parents were okay with it."

Kuroi frowned and shook her head. "The late Duke and Duchess Amanai did not know…" she turned to him suddenly and grabbed his arm, making him jump, and tense. She gasped and quickly let go. "I apologize– Allow me to explain, Master Gojo!  I was only doing my duty!"

Satoru propped his chin up with his hand as he analyzed her. This was quite a curious situation.  He had never heard of it before. "Go on."

"Ahem… the late Duchess Amanai commanded me to watch over the young Mistress when she was just but a wee babe— an infant! Barely an hour old! I was instructed to feed her cooked porridge and watered bone broth… and she got very ill as a result…

"The late Duchess Amanai was distraught! And I was given an ultimatum… If the young mistress did not recover in a month, I was to be burned at the stake…" she bit her lip and looked down at her hands. "The poor babe was so tiny… she was very malnourished and I knew she needed her mother… but when I begged the late Duchess to care for her ailing daughter, I was punished severely for insubordination…

"I-I had a child of my own…an affair with a fellow familiar… my lover and child were... t-they weren't allowed to—to be... So they were lost in a fire and—"

"They were put to death," Satoru said grimly. 

Kuroi stiffened and looked away. "S-So!  I-I did the only thing I knew I could do… I nursed the young mistress in place of my own child… I was afraid that she might get ill or die, you see I knew such a thing was dirty, beyond sinful, it was taboo, and illegal to boot… I am but a lowly Familiar after all… but she not only lived, she thrived! I was so relieved and happy!" 

"So… you're the one that raised her?" Satoru quietly asked, still a bit shocked by her admission.

She looked up at him and smiled wryly. "Well, no, I only fed the poor thing— and dressed her and—w-well— she doesn't know!… Please don't tell her. She has such a pure image of her mother in her heart, I don't want that taken away from her." 

He frowned and glanced back over to where Amanai was. "Why not? Don't you think she deserves to know the truth?" 

"I-I… some things should never be shared… Unfortunately I let this slip, and I can only beg you not to speak a word of this to her — or to anyone for that matter," Kuroi said and bowed her head towards him. 

"Why?"

She looked up at him with a frown. " Why? Because I know the Young Mistress cares a lot about me… I-I say that not out of hubris,  but simply because I can tell through our bond…  I love her very much and—"

"It is your duty," Satoru cut in smoothly. 

"P-Pardon?"

"The proper way is to say that it is your duty to look after her. It is quite gratuitous to claim that you love her," Satoru explained. "Why embellish the truth? It only makes you seem disingenuous."

Kuroi frowned deeply and shook her head. "I know it is unheard of— unconscionable even, but I raised the poor girl as my own,  a mother's love is the truest love of all. Did you not agree?"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I never had a mother, or anything remotely similar. I was property of the crown from as young as three…" 

She straightened and folded her hands in her lap. "I see…"

An awkward silence settled between them until Kuroi broke it once more, her voice quiet, but firm. 

"I only want the best for her. She will be devastated if I'm put to death for nothing but committing the sin of obeying orders to do everything I could to save her so many years ago."

Satoru absently scratched his cheek as he stared at her.  He was admittedly quite shocked by her revelation. It was wildly illegal, even if she was ordered to do everything in her power to care for the Duchess's daughter… There were some things that just couldn't be. 

If that story ever got out at the capital, Kuroi would be burned at the stake without question, and Amanai's legitimacy as the Star Goddess incarnate would be questioned. 

But that wasn't what he was stuck on.  

A mother's love? 

The whole story sounded far too much like a fantasy story, very similar to the ones Utahime liked to read.  He couldn't wrap his head around it. 

Or… maybe those stories weren't entirely fantasy? Was a mother caring for their child more than an act of duty? Was it love? 

But Amanai isn't even her daughter… 

"M-Master Gojo… you're not going to turn me in, are you?" Kuroi asked warily. 

He realized that he was frowning quite deeply, and he sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "No, I wouldn't do that to you, or Amanai."

She sighed quietly in relief. "Thank the gods."

"Don't thank them. You should be thanking me."

Kuroi straightened and eyed him warily. "Thank you, Master Gojo."

"Mhm…" he mumbled absently. "You know… once we get to the capital, Amanai might have to break her bond with you. I don't know if you'll be allowed to stick around…" 

She didn't seem upset over it. "I understand… as long as she's safe and happy, I will be too."

"You won't hate her for it?" He asked, frowning. 

She shook her head. "Of course not, she means the world to me, I could never be upset with her for something like that."

Amanai caught a decently large fish just then, and ran over to Kuroi with a huge smile on her face. "Look, Kuroi! Look! I actually did it!"

Kuroi jumped to her feet and hugged her tightly. "I saw! Well done Young Mistress! You did a spectacular job!"

Satoru frowned and looked away, not in the mood to watch any longer. 

Chapter Text

"What do you mean there's no boats!?" Satoru asked, both frustrated and exasperated. "I see plenty on the dock!"

The clerk at the desk flinched back and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Sir, but the dock master has declared the sea unfit for sailing."

"Why the hell?"

"'Cause there's a terrible storm forecasted, we've also  gotten reports of a sea dragon in the—"

Satoru walked away.  He was too frustrated to stand there anymore and listen to that man. 

He left the building and walked over to where the rest of the group were waiting. "No ships are setting out until further notice… storm warning, and some big fish is scaring them," he grumbled and crossed his arms. 

"Can't you use your status to sway them?" Geto asked, frowning. 

Satoru frowned and leaned against some nearby crates. He honestly considered doing that, but he hesitated.

There was a small voice in the back of his head that cautioned him against it, but he wasn't sure how legitimate that was. 

What if there really was a sea dragon that had surfaced in the nearby waters? If he had been alone, he wouldn't be concerned, but putting Amanai through that safely was what gave him pause. 

Once again he considered trying to teleport them, but the risk of hurting Amanai was too great, besides the distance was much farther than any he had warped through before. 

If he did manage to pull the spell off, the chance of Amanai losing limbs was dangerously high. He could always rush her to Shoko, but whether or not that would violate the terms of his contact was risky. 

Either way, he was stuck. 

"I could," Satoru finally said, glancing at Geto. "But I'd rather not risk Amanai's safety… Are you confident we'd be able to face a potential sea dragon while keeping her and Kuroi safe?" 

Geto crossed his arms and sighed. "So what's the next plan? Wait it out?"

"Well—"

"I've got a boat," a man said behind them. 

Satoru startled so much he bit his tongue, though he remained composed on the outside. He turned around and frowned when he saw the man standing behind him. He was a tall, muscular man with black, shaggy hair and a scar by his lip. He was quite disheveled as well, as if he just got out of a fight or a long workday.

"Can we help you?" Satoru asked.

"No."

"Um… okay?"

"I can help you . You need a boat? I got one."

Satoru looked him over carefully,  on guard. "Are you aware the dock has been shut down?"

The man shrugged. "They'll let me disembark, I know my way 'round."

"You're not worried about the sea dragon?"

"Eh? Nah, I know how to deal with beasts, it's what I do, hunt monsters."

Geto scoffed. " You are a monster hunter? You're just a human, how in the seven realms can you be a monster hunter?"

He shrugged again. "Easily. You just got to know how the beast works,  you've got to analyze it, watch it,  then you've got to run it down, weaken it, corner it, then you can win any fight against it."

Satoru sighed and gestured behind him to the group of other people waiting around for boats. "Why us specifically?"

He pointed to the crest on his jacket. "You work for the kingdom, right? Which means you pay nice. I can get you 'cross the sea, safe from the sea beast, guaranteed."

Satoru forced a stiff smile and shook his head. "Appreciate it, but no thanks, we'll just wait out the storm."

The man shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said and walked off. 

"Why couldn't we go with him?" Amanai asked. 

"It's not safe," Geto said. "He's a human, it's best not to mix with their lot."

"We might as well find a place to stay," Satoru said as he turned down the street. "It won't do us any good to be standing around like idiots."

.

After being turned away a few times due to the nearby inns being at capacity, they finally found a room that was available above a nearby tavern. 

Unfortunately, there was only one bed, so naturally, it was designated to Amanai and Kuroi. Once Satoru was done inspecting the safety of the room, he put a few charms up to hide their presence better, and joined the trio in the tavern to get something to eat.  

He sat in the corner of the room so he could see everything in the space, and to make sure no one could come up behind him.  

All he ordered to eat was a simple stew that turned out to be a bit lukewarm, but he didn't really care. He was too wired to muster the energy to do anything about it. 

A few minutes later, the others joined him with the food they ordered, and quietly spoke amongst themselves while they ate.

Satoru didn't bother to tune in. He was too busy keeping an eye on the patrons moving around the tavern. Thankfully the atmosphere was surprisingly quiet for a place that served food and drink. Though, he figured it was because the bard across the room was playing a rather calm song on his lute.

The chatter that did fill the space was hushed, the clinking of glasses oddly muted. The more he listened to the song, the more melancholic he felt. 

"Uh, Master Gojo, can I go watch the bard play?" Amanai asked when she finished her food. 

"Sure," he mumbled, not really looking at her. 

"Thank you!" She said, and scurried off with Geto on her heels saying something that sounded like be careful. 

From his spot he could easily keep an eye on Amanai, and she had her bodyguard following her, so he wasn't concerned.

"Master Gojo? Are you alright?"

He frowned in confusion and glanced over to see Kuroi still sitting at the small table with him.  "You don't want to go with Amanai?" He asked.

She smiled slightly and shook her head. "Well, I thought you might want some company."

"What makes you think that?" He asked. 

She folded her hands in her lap and shrugged. "I just… had a feeling… you seem restless."

He frowned and looked away from her. "I just want to get this mission over with already," they'd been traveling already for a few days just due to how many times they had to stop. It was slowly grating on his nerves. 

"Do you have someone waiting on you?" She asked gently. 

For some reason the soft tone she used felt like a stab in the gut, and he laughed dryly. "No."

She frowned. "Oh… no one at all?"

He sighed and glanced back over at her. "You know you're awfully nosey…"

Her eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to be rude… I just—"

"It's fine," he sighed, weary, and leaned his chair back against the wall, carelessly propping his boots up on the table. "You… kind of remind me of someone… she was nosey too, but if you called her out on it she'd deny it like her life depended on it…" he smiled to himself as memories of Utahime's cute, scrunched up face settled in his mind. 

It was one of the reasons why he started to pull on her tail, not enough to hurt her, but enough to annoy her. He found it so entertaining when she would glare at him the way she used to with that cute scrunchy face… 

It was even better if she was in her human form. She would give him the meanest stink eye she could muster up, and he always failed to hold in his laugh. He couldn't help it, she was just too adorable when she looked at him like that— with her scrunched up nose, pouty lip and the slight pink in her cheeks… 

He sighed wistfully and absently fused with the magic device on his wrist. "She was always like that though… a proud, fiery little thing."

She laughed lightly. "Ooh, a lady friend?" 

He scoffed and shook his head. "No… just…" he bit his lip and closed his eyes for a few beats before looking down at his hands.  "Just my former Familiar…" he quietly admitted. He wasn't really sure why he admitted that, but being a Familiar herself, he didn't think Kuroi would pose any kind of threat to Utahime when they eventually met. 

"Oh… did something happen to her?" She asked quietly. 

He glanced up to see her face set in a frown, "No… I just—" I got rid of her, stayed on his tongue, nearly choked him, because even though he tried to say that whenever someone asked, for some reason he just couldn't this time. "We—" we fell apart… we weren't compatible…

"Did you… sell her off?" 

"No!" He blurred out,  just hearing that made him feel ill… "Erm… no…" he repeated, quieter. "I just gave her away…" even saying that made him feel odd. It was the truth, yet for some reason, it made him uncomfortable. 

"I see," was all Kuroi said. 

For some reason that annoyed him. "Would you hate Amanai if she gave you away? Even if she didn't want to? Even if she had no choice?"

Kuroi just shook her head. "As I told you the first time, Amanai means the world to me, I could never be upset with her for something like that, especially if she didn't have a choice."

That hurt. It made him feel bitter, because that was the opposite of Utahime… "What if… you didn't know she didn't have a choice? What if she kept the truth from you?" He whispered, his throat heavy with an emotion that he could not name. 

"I'm sure I'd be sad, but I'd understand, I trust her enough to know that she would have valid reasons for doing so, even if I never learn them. I'll be okay so long as she is okay," Kuroi said. 

That unfamiliar feeling that felt a lot like hurt only got stronger and he averted his gaze back to his hands. "She's lucky then…" he mumbled.

Utahime's voice was haunting him again, except this time, all he could hear was her telling him that she hated him… 

I hate you… 

He knew she did, he felt the anger only increase in the days leading up to right when he broke their bond, but hearing her say it was a whole other thing… 

The hurt spread to his throat, making it burn. That's why she wanted you to wipe her memory, because she hates you, and you were asking her to come back… 

"Did the king force you to give her away?" Kuroi asked. 

He laughed dryly and shook his head. "No… I wish I could blame it on that old bastard, but it was all my decision…" 

"But you didn't want to?"

"No… no I didn't…" the burn spread to his eyes again and he angrily shoved the heels of his palms into them. 

"You two were very close, weren't you?" Kuroi quietly asked.

In the back of his mind he knew he shouldn't be running his mouth, but he responded before he could stop himself. This was the first time in months anyone has asked him if he was okay, since anyone genuinely seemed to even care, and the words just spilled out.

"She was my best friend," he whispered around the lump in his throat. "We were bonded for damn near twenty years… the entirety of my life that held any meaning." 

"Oh dear…if you don't mind me asking… what even happened?" She asked gently. 

That too spilled out.  "We… our bond soured… she was dangerously close to becoming corrupted… if I didn't set her free, I…"

"You were dying," Kuroi quietly finished for him. 

He nodded, the burn in his throat was too great for him to find his voice, but he still managed to force out a small whisper. "She could have turned into a demon…"

"Did she make it?" Kuroi asked warily. 

He nodded, and she sighed in relief.

"I thought you said you were friends? How could your bond have soured so dangerously if that was the case? That can only happen if the Familiar in question deeply despises their Master," Kuroi said. 

Hearing her say that only confirmed what he already knew, but it felt like he was learning it for the first time. The dread, and shock, the betrayal… Utahime really didn't want to be his Familiar after all… 

I guess she really does hate me… 

The burn in his eyes became too much to hold back, and he had to look away as a very unwanted tear rolled down his cheek. He was grateful the tavern was dim, so if he had any luck left, Kuroi wouldn't notice. He felt a soft touch against his arm, and he flinched away, startled. 

Kuroi kept her hand on his arm, seemingly unafraid of potential repercussions… "I'm sorry you had to experience that… I know it must not have been easy," she said gently.

He had to avert his eyes again. "It was a while ago, so… I—I shouldn't be this— it's fucking pathetic…" he mumbled mostly to himself.

She shook her head. "You're heartbroken, it's normal to feel upset about it still, a few months is nothing in comparison to the years you spent together."

What?  "...What?" He asked, quiet, confused by her word choice.

Kuroi gently squeezed his arm. "When we lose someone close to us like that, someone we love, the pain cuts us deep, you need to give yourself time to grieve."

Satoru frowned deeply as her words echoed in his mind, they unsettled him. "We were just friends. I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm not like that."

Her eyes widened. "Oh dear, no I'm not trying to accuse you of anything improper."

He grimaced. "That's exactly what it sounds like…" 

She shook her head. "No no, oh dear— you really don't know…?" She took a deep breath and moved her hand back to her lap. "I only mean to say… when we meet someone, they become our acquaintance, right?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, "I'm not an idiot. You're quite bold to sit there and talk down on me like that."

"I-I really don't mean to, honest, if you don't trust me, you can ask Lady Amanai if I'm being disingenuous," Kuroi quickly said.

Satoru crossed his arms and glanced over to where Amanai was. She was still sitting near the bard with a cup of something that had faint steam coming from it in her hands.  "There's no need to bother her…" he said with a sigh. 

Kuroi nodded and cleared her throat. "If I may, what I'm trying to say is— If we get along with our allies, we might seek to spend more time with them, and if we enjoy their company, then they become our friends… and if that friendship persists through years and years, then they become our family… and if something happens to that person — whether it's a loss of life or a betrayal of some kind, then we grieve them, and we only truly grieve our loved ones," she quietly explained. " That's why it hurts us so much."

Her words stuck to his mind like burrs on cotton, repeating again and again.  He tried to break it apart, to see a flaw in her reasoning, but he couldn't come up with one that held any substance.  It was a reasonable explanation, one that he never thought about before.  He didn't have a family, no mother, no father, no siblings. He hardly even had friends. The only one that he even could call his family was in fact, Utahime. What role she may play under that umbrella didn't really matter, because to him, Utahime had always been his equal, his other half, his partner in crime, and his dearest friend… 

That's why it hurts so much? 

"I see…" he mumbled quietly and looked down as he continued to digest what she said. A part of him was still trying to find some kind of flaw, but the more he tried, the deeper the revelation that Kuroi invoked in him grew. Utahime,  in all of her stubborn fury, had been his only family, and that was why losing her felt so devastating… that had to be why.  "I uh… I don't want you to misunderstand anything… my— my former Familiar wasn't— she was good," he laughed, but it came out short and just a little watery, broken. "She was good , really good, I'm the one that isn't… I pushed her away… I didn't realize until it was too late…" he admitted in a shaky whisper. Another tear slid past his crumbling defenses, and he didn't have the energy to wipe it away. 

"Don't worry, it isn't my place to judge her," Kuroi said. "I don't know what truly happened, but even though we've only known each other for a few days, I think you're a good person, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

He laughed again, a short, bitter thing. "You don't even know me. I'm not on this mission out of the kindness of my heart."

She tilted her head. "Well… whatever the reasoning is, I've seen how patient you are with Lady Amanai, you could be a whole lot meaner to her, we aren't owed your patience, besides… I think I'm a decent judge of character," Kuroi said with a small smile. "I mean, you've allowed me to speak to you quite freely, and most witches wouldn't do that." 

"Well… I need her to not think I'm an asshole because her uncle— the king— wants us to get married when we get back," Satoru admitted. 

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Really? Oh… well…" she slowly nodded to herself. "I'd say she's quite lucky then, she was actually afraid she'd be married off to some old nobleman as soon as she got back," she sighed quietly and put her hand over her heart. "I'm actually quite relieved to hear that isn't the case."

He laughed dryly, a bit surprised, "why? 'Cause I'm good looking?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Because I can see you and Lady Amanai being good friends someday, however… being good looking certainly does help, what mother wouldn't want their daughter to have a nice and handsome husband?"

He laughed again, a bit more earnestly. " And strong."

She nodded, amused. "Yes, yes, and strong."

A comfortable silence settled between them, and Satoru allowed himself to finally relax. As cliche as it sounded, he really did feel as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. It was strange, how opening up about some of his troubles could do… 

It was bittersweet in a way. On one hand, he was pretty sure there was nothing he could do to smooth things over with Utahime… but on the other hand, even though it had slipped through his fingers like water, it felt nice being able to say that for at least a small part of his life, he had his own little family in Utahime. 

For his entire life he thought he didn't have something that everyone around him did, he felt jealous as a child, melancholic that he would never experience that happiness that even the kids he played with on the street had— a place to call home, a family to return to. 

But he had no idea he had been longing for something he already had, he had Utahime, and that had been more than enough. 

That's why it hurts so much… 

"Thanks, Kuroi… I'm actually really glad I rescued you…" Satoru said.

She smiled and reached over to gently touch his arm again. "Ha, thank you, I'm glad you did too… Oh, and don't worry, this conversation stays between us." 

A small smile of his own worked its way onto his face. It felt both normal and foreign to him, smiling again.  "I like you, Kuroi… I hope we can convince that old bastard to let you stay." 

Her brows furrowed. "Pardon? Who?"

He snickered. "The king ."

"Ah, yes, of course."

"Oh, and, uh, if we can't… you could be my Familiar… if you wanna be… I'm kind of a wreck though… but… it'll be up to you, I don't know how things are going to go once we get back, it could be pretty hectic for a while," Satoru said. He felt weird, saying that to someone that wasn't Utahime, but he meant it. So far Kuroi treated him very normally , and he liked that about her. That she even bothered enough to check on him also meant a whole lot to him.  

"Really? My goodness, thank you, Master Gojo, that's quite generous of you… that actually gives me so much peace of mind," she said. 

"It'll only be temporary of course, until I can figure out something that will work better, I don't know if we'll be compatible," he added, wanting to be cautious. 

"Of course, I understand."

He sensed a sudden spike in mana and as soon as he stood up, the window near Amanai shattered. She screamed, and he quickly rushed over. 

He got there just in time to see Geto shoving an older man out of the broken window and jumping after him. 

"Time to go," Satoru said and grabbed Amanai's hand and dragged her away. 

He quickly scanned the area for Kuroi, and when he noticed she was already at his side, he continued out of the building. The patrons of the tavern fell into a panic and began to rush out around him. 

"So much for resting," he grumbled to himself as he pushed through the crowd. 

"What happened, Lady Amanai?" Kuroi asked. 

"I-I don't know! The man came out of nowhere!" Amanai cried. 

"It's my fault, I was distracted, are you okay?" Satoru asked her as he dragged her around a sudden corner. He could sense a group of people following them with various levels of mana, and he was trying his best to lose them before he was forced to deal with them. 

"I'm okay… I'm worried about Suguru though…"

"He will be fine, Lady Amanai, he is a great fighter," Kuroi said. 

"Kuroi, do you have a small object form?" Satoru asked. "It'll be easier for me to navigate without needing to watch you too."

"Of course, I apologize," she said and shifted into a book that Amanai quickly hugged to her chest. 

A man wearing a mask jumped out at them with a dagger in hand, and Satoru quickly dodged to the side, shoving Amanai behind him. "Look man, you don't want to do this, I'm not in the mood," he said through his teeth. 

The man just laughed. "Yeah, we don't care about that," he said and lunged again. 

Satoru cast his infinity barrier, allowing the man to smash into it. 

He groaned in pain and stumbled back,  but before Satoru could retaliate, another man jumped out at them, only to also run into the barrier. 

"Great," Satoru grumbled as he looked around. Now there's two? No… four? Where did they even come from? 

"Just come with us, and no one will get hurt," one of them said, but the voice sounded like it came from above them.

Satoru glanced up, and tensed when saw that there was indeed another guy standing up on the roof of the nearby building. " Great ," he muttered again, agitated.  They were literally surrounded.

He'd have to drop the barrier in order to cast any kind of offensive spell to get rid of these losers. That was risky. He would be putting Amanai, and himself in danger if he did that, and with how many idiots there were, he wasn't sure if he wanted to risk it.  The other option was to just wait it out until Geto was done with the first guy and wait for him to find them… 

But Satoru really hated that option. He didn't sit around and wait to be saved.  That pissed him off.

"Kuroi, can you protect Amanai?" He asked under his breath..

"Yes, I can offer her moderate protection."

"Good," he mumbled and held his hand up, and cast Ao. A blue light encased every idiot surrounding them and he tossed them out of the alley. As soon as they hit the ground, they all disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

"What the?" A clone spell? He scowled and looked around, searching for traces of mana. He found a source that matched the clones on the other side of town. "Stay close," he told Amanai, and quickly went after it.

Unfortunately she was moving too slow for his liking so he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. "You're too slow," he said. 

She yelped in surprise, but thankfully didn't struggle.

Once he got close enough to the building the bastard was in, he set Amanai down so he could focus on gathering his mana. He was going to take out the whole building, that way no one could escape.

A red burst of light emanated from his hand, the force gathering up within him groaned in protest, as it was forced into focus by the device on his wrist.

Seconds before he released the energy he noticed a group of people huddled together that had very minimal mana within them—humans. Innocents… 

At the last minute, he redirected the blast around the building, shattering the facade instead of the entire structure. It gave him just enough of a window to rush in and corner the witch he'd been after. 

"Okay, bastard, you have two seconds to tell me why I shouldn't cut your head off right now," Satoru said as he drew his sword.

"I-I wasn't going to hurt the girl, promise!" He desperately said.

"You really expect me to believe that?" He snapped. "What a waste of breath," he raised his sword, only to freeze when Amanai jumped in front of him. 

"Wait! Don't hurt him! He deserves a trial for his crimes! Have mercy Master Gojo!" She begged.

He swore and lowered his sword. "Amanai! What were you thinking? I could have fucking killed you!"

She set her jaw. "You forget, I am the Star Goddess, your blade cannot harm me," she said. 

Satoru thought he was hearing things. What is she doing?! He was about to laugh, dismiss her, something,  but then he noticed the humans in the corner watching with a mixture of terror and awe on their faces, and even the witch she was shielding looked in awe.

She was putting up a front, and he was impressed she even had the mind to do something like that. Still. It was reckless. 

He sighed and slowly put his sword away. "Of course," he said stiffly, and quickly conjured up a rope to tie the bastard up with. He enchanted it using a binding spell to block mana, and once the idiot was tied up he knocked him out and dragged him outside and away from the busier part of the town and tied him up against a tree, then turned to Amanai.  

"Amanai—"

"I know! I'm sorry, Master Gojo… I just… I can't bear to have people lose their lives because of me," she said. "Enough people have died already, simply because I exist!"

He sighed heavily and rubbed his hands over his face. He didn't have the mental energy to argue with her.  He was so damn exhausted. All he really wanted to do was sleep, and maybe dream, and if he was fortunate enough to dream of the good times, then maybe he'd be fortunate enough to never wake up… 

"Just forget it, we need to regroup, find Geto… maybe find a new place to stay…" Satoru wearily said. "This place is compromised…"

"Do you think that man from before would still be willing to take us across the sea?" Amanai quietly asked. 

Satoru sighed and rubbed his temples. "I guess it's worth a shot asking…" 

… 

Once they regrouped with Geto, he filled them in on what he learned from the man he went after.

"They are chasing a huge bounty, and word has spread like wildfire of our whereabouts… if we can't make it across the sea soon, we might have to journey to the next town over to try and find a ship, or worse, take the long way…" Geto said. 

Satoru scoffed. "The long way? You're not talking about the way that will take us months, right? The one on foot? Because there is no other way to the capital from here."

"Well, I'm just listing our options," Geto said.

Amanai moved between them, "Let's just ask that man, he's over there by the docks," she said, and pointed behind them. 

Satoru turned around to look, sure enough, the large man from before was standing by the docks sharpening a simple steel sword.

"I'll go talk to him, see how much he wants," Satoru grumbled and walked over to him. It was worth at least asking.  "Ahem, hey buddy, are you still looking for some decent pay?" He called out once he was within hearing distance. 

The man looked up and shook his head. "Lookin' for great pay, you got any offers?" 

"Yeah, how much do you want?" 

"I want a year's pay, and… erm," he shrugged. "A new boat I guess."

Satoru narrowed his eyes, suspicious by the simple request. Well he is human… in my experience, they don't typically ask for too much in comparison to a witch.  "That's all?" He asked warily. 

"Mhm, yeah, and since you asking, how about you throw in some extra gold on the side I can use for bettin'?"

He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Just five pieces for your betting, and you'll get your year's pay and new boat— if you get me and my group across the sea safely," Satoru said. 

"Sure, sure, we leavin' tonight?" The man asked. 

"I want to check your crew first, I don't want to travel with any witches," Satoru said. 

"Yeah, no problem, I've got a small lot," he said and held his fingers by his mouth and whistled. "Oi! Get over here!"

Only seven men clambered over, all of various heights and all smelling quite awful. Satoru instinctively cast infinity when they approached, not liking anyone in his personal space, and in his experience humans often stood too close for comfort. 

"You payin' all my men too, right?" The man asked. 

"Again, if   we get across the sea safely," Satoru said with a sigh. 

"You hear that boys? We about to get us a year's vacation! Get the boat ready for sail!" He yelled. The rest of the men cheered and rushed off.

"Erm, what's your name anyway?" Satoru asked wearily.

The man turned to him and attempted to clap him on the shoulder, but only touched his infinity. "Whoa! That must be that magic stuff you witches do, huh?" 

"Mhm…name?"

"Right, right, just call me, TJ, kid, no need for fancy titles here," he said and started walking away. "You got five minutes to board!" He called over his shoulder. 

Satoru shook his head and moved back over to the others. "We're going with the human, his whole crew is human, so if any of them try anything stupid we can easily blast them."

Geto sighed heavily and crossed his arms. "Fine… I don't like this, but after what happened today, I suppose it's our best option… Did you ask him what he plans to do if we run into the sea dragon?" 

Oh… shit, that slipped my mind.  "I'm sure it'll be fine… if worst comes to worst, I can take it down if you can keep an eye on Amanai, but he seemed pretty sure he could deal with it on his own, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.  Besides, it might not even be as big as we're thinking. A threat to a human is very different from what will be a threat to us— how does that sound, Amanai?"

She agreed, and it was quite satisfying to be able to out vote, Geto this time when it came to what they would do next.  

.

.

When they were finally on the boat, Satoru decided that they should keep an eye on Amanai and Kuroi twenty four seven. Even though the crew was made up of only humans, they were still men at the end of the day, and Amanai was still an amature when it came to casting spells. And she was a young maiden. 

They took shifts, Geto was to watch the girls during the day, and Satoru at night, however even though that was their official schedule, Satoru was still often awake during the day, keeping an eye on Amanai and Kuroi from a distance. 

He was too anxious to sleep. On the bright side, Tj's crew mostly kept to themselves. During the first few days, they made typical inappropriate comments about Amanai and Kuroi, but before Satoru could even say anything about it, Geto was already chewing them out, his hackles raised like an agitated guard dog. 

Aside from those few incidents, the guys were surprisingly well behaved around the girls. However, they were quite insufferable towards him. 

They attempted to poke at, or touch him quite a lot, shamelessly gawking at him like he was some kind of otherworldly creature. 

It got on his nerves, even though each time he thankfully had his barrier up, it still unsettled him. They asked the usual questions, how old are you? Why is your hair gray? Is it a witch thing?  Are you ancient? Your eyes look crazy, did you know they glow? Can you see through walls?   Can you do a trick for us? Can you do another? 

It was mentally exhausting, but he tried to see the bright side of it. He didn't mind distracting them with a spell or two, and if he took up most of their attention, it meant the girls would be left alone, and that was really all that mattered.

"So what do you plan on doing if we run into the sea dragon?" Satoru warily asked the captain, Tj.

He was sharpening a long saber–like blade. "We won't."

"Well… if we do… I'm curious.  If I can help at all… I don't really want to do anything and accidently interrupt something you planned out," Satoru said. 

Tj stood up and tried to throw his arm around him, but was stopped by Satoru's infinity spell. "That's a really cool trick you got there… Does it keep everything from touching you?" He asked and knocked on it with his fist.

"Yeah," Satoru said warily, and took a step back. "About the sea dragon?"

"Right, well… we just play to the beast's weakness… it doesn't like the smell or taste of good ol' alcohol, the strong kind– good moonshine that'll knock you out and have ya wake up in front of the gods. It'll be a sad waste, but if the beast comes close, all we gotta do is dumb a few barrels and it will swim away so long as we don't provoke it," Tj explained as he gestured to the multiple barrels around. 

"Oh… Interesting," Satoru said. That never occurred to him, finding a way to repel the creature. His only thought was killing it. 

I wonder what Utahime would think about this information… 

.

Whenever he could, he took the time to teach Amanai how to suppress her mana, and store it for emergencies.  Sometimes various members of the crew would hang around and watch, but Satoru didn't really mind. They were human after all. They couldn't comprehend what he was teaching her. 

Tj was one of the ones that watched a lot. Even if it was late at night, many times Satoru would see him leaning on a railing across the deck, silently observing. Satoru asked him one night, a little unnerved by his sharp, silent gaze. 

"Ah, well I find it interesting. Some say my son is a half -blood. They think he'll be able to do similar things as you two," Tj said with a shrug. 

"Is that so?" Satoru asked curiously. That got his attention. Humans and witches didn't mix often, and if they did, their children weren't typically accepted into witch society. There were small exceptions of course, as with most anything.  

"Mhm, but his mother is dead… so guess I'll never know unless he randomly does something neat like that," Tj said. 

"Oh… I'm erm… sorry for your loss," Satoru awkwardly said. Isn't that what people say to those that lost someone…? Family… a loved one?... 

He shook his head. "Don't be. The man that would have cared died when she did," he said and walked off.

Satoru sighed, and turned back to Amanai, deciding to file that information away for another day.  

"Most humans can't sense mana the way witches can, but for people like you and me, our mana pool is large enough for even the most inept to sense. They might not understand what they are sensing exactly, but they'll be able to feel something is amiss," Satoru told her.

"How long should I suppress it?" Amanai asked.

"Ideally, for the rest of your life, or if you need to unleash it in an emergency. You want your enemies to underestimate you. It's a good thing for them to think you can't handle a fight, because then you'll almost always have the upper hand," he explained. 

"Is that what you have done?" She asked curiously. 

"Well, yes and no… when I was younger I didn't really care, I let my mana leak out all over the place, but lately… I've been trying to keep it under control. My situation is a little different from most, because—" something in me broke after I gained my freedom… "—my mana has been steadily growing since I was little, but lucky for me the last few years it's stayed around the same level, but it's difficult to manage," he said with a sigh.

"What if you got a Familiar? Would that help? I've noticed you have that strange device on your hand," she pointed out. 

He glanced at his hand and absently fussed with the uncomfortable thing. The metal from the device dug into his skin, leaving it bruised.  "I… used to have one," he carefully admitted. "We had to go our separate ways," he quickly added, not wanting to go into any more detail. 

"Oh… I see…"

He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. "You know how I mentioned that the king might make you sever your bond with Kuroi?"

She frowned deeply and nodded. "I really do hope he doesn't…"

"Me too… but if he insists, I did tell Kuroi that I'd take her in as my Familiar so she could stay close to you until we found a better solution… however, if you aren't comfortable with that then I can think of another way to keep her in the castle," he said.

Her eyes widened,  "Really? You'd do that for me?"

He averted his eyes, not used to being looked at like that— like he was good , "You aren't worried that I have ulterior motives?"

"Do you?"

He sighed and sat down on a nearby barrel of moonshine. "Well… yes and no I suppose… I didn't mention it before because things were so hectic, but… we're actually betrothed, you and I—"

She gasped and covered her mouth, "me and you?!"

He frowned and nodded slowly,  "yes…"

Her eyes widened,  "Oh, I didn't mean for it to sound like that— I'm actually, uh… I'm grateful you're—"

"Nice to look at?"

She blushed and looked down,  "Well… y-yes, but I don't mean— I'm just—my biggest concern was being married off to an older nobleman… " She pressed her hands over her heart and sighed quietly, "I knew it was bound to happen, I'm actually surprised my parents didn't marry me off sooner…" she gasped and looked up quickly,  "I promise I'm not shallow! I just—"

"It's fine, I understand. I'm actually glad you're not as insufferable as I was afraid you'd be…" he said, feeling a bit awkward. He was trying to relate to her in some way, but based on the frown on her face he had a feeling he missed the mark.  

"Not as insufferable? So what? I'm a little insufferable?" She asked and crossed her arms. 

He sighed and leaned back against the wall behind him, "I uh… didn't mean it like that, I'm just…" he laughed dryly and shook his head. "I dunno what I'm trying to say… but I didn't mean to offend you."

She sighed herself and nodded. "It's okay, I understand… I think… it's strange to you I bet… the idea of marrying me," she gestured to herself, "I'm not too special…" 

"Uh… well… of course you are," he awkwardly said. "I mean, you're supposed to be the goddess incarnate, right? Can't get much more special than that."

Her frown deepened and she nodded slowly. "Yeah…"

He sighed, realizing he dropped the ball… again. "Look, I'm not going to like—" He waved his hand around randomly,  "you know, boss you around or whatever, or be overly polite or worship you.  You're the King's niece, remember? Goddess or not you'll have all the power,  the main thing that's expected of me is that I give you children…" 

She blushed brightly and nodded,  "I-I understand…" 

An awkward silence settled between them, and he stood up, intending to get her to start practicing her spells more, but she gasped suddenly, and he stopped to look at her. 

"W-Wait! Do you know if— is his Highness going to make the court nobles w-watch us?" She whispered, looking terrified. 

"Watch what?" He asked, confused. 

Her face turned a dark red. "Y-You know… the consummation ceremony…" she whispered. 

He heard that word before, but he wasn't exactly sure where.  Something told him it was from one of Utahime's books… he also had a feeling it had something to do with royalty or whatever. But he had no idea what she was saying. 

"Erm… sorry, my education was only about spells, potions, survival, and sword fighting…" Satoru admitted. 

Her eyes widened, "Oh… uh… you only, our wedding night… most noble houses expect us to you know— p-properly become husband and w-wife…and they need to be there to uh… w-witness…"

" Oh, wait… they watch you guys have sex?" He asked with a grimace. 

She covered her face,  "M-Master Gojo! You mustn't be so crude!" 

He laughed dryly and shook his head,  "That's not happening, don't worry. There's no reason to anyway, they'll know when it's born that the kid will be mine, so they'll just have to wait— fucking creeps…" 

She sighed and nodded, though kept her face covered. "Gosh, t-thank you so much…"

"Oh, and we should work on how you present yourself, even if you don't feel like you are, to them, you are the Star Goddess, you can't be so easily swayed to do things you don't want to, you have power, you need to behave as such. We've got about a week left… I'm sure we can get enough training in until then," he said and motioned for her to follow. "Come on."

She nodded and followed him,  "Alright…" 

.

.

"You got any family, kid?" Satoru looked up to see the captain, Tj standing a few paces away from him. He was staring at him quite closely, and once again, that unnerving feeling prickled the back of his neck.  

"Well… I… I guess so…" he said and leaned against the railing, his eyes focused on the endless waves. "We're estranged though… we don't really talk anymore," he quietly said. 

"Ah, that's rough… you think they've missed you?"

"I'm not sure…" he said and sighed, a little wistful, a little sad. Utahime's face flitted to the forefront of his mind and he closed his eyes as her honey amber eyes settled to the forefront. I hope she missed me… even if only a little… he absently picked at the softened wood of the railing he was leaning on. I've certainly missed her… 

I wonder if she once considered me her family… he thought ruefully .

Even if she no longer did, he wanted to believe that she did at one point.  He wanted to believe that even if it was just for a few short years, her smiles were genuine, that she truly did care about him as much as he cared about her… 

—we only truly grieve our loved ones.

This mission was his longest yet, at least the longest he went on alone. Normally he would think it pathetic of him to be looking forward to seeing her again so much, but lately, especially lately, he's been wondering if he really has been too hard on himself. 

It was so strange, people were so strange.  Geto considered Familiars no more than pets, valued companions, yes, but not an equal by any means.  You can never be equal with a being you control… 

A common belief taught throughout the land. 

And yet, to Satoru, controlling Utahime felt wrong, was that because he grew up with her? Was it because of how much they shared throughout their lives? Their lives that had once been considered one life. Until he severed it, tore it into two… 

If we get along with our allies, we might seek to spend more time with them, and if we enjoy their company, then they become our friends… and if that friendship persists through years and years, then they become our family… and if something happens to that person — whether it's a loss of life or a betrayal of some kind, then we grieve them, and we only truly grieve our loved ones, That's why it hurts us so much.

Do you miss me, Utahime?... 

He sighed and closed his eyes as another unwanted tear stained his lash line. Just once more , he wanted to see her just one more time, it didn't matter what form she was in, he wasn't going to be picky. 

He just wanted to see her one more time, make sure that she was happy, and healthy, and then he'd leave her alone.  

He had things to take care of anyway… After all, he made a promise to her when he was ten years old that he'd find a way to make it safe for her to travel on her own. 

If he was lucky, he'd be able to pull it off, even if it took a few years. He was going to grant full personhood to Familiars, so his closest friend, and only family could see the world like she always wanted… Just like the paintings in the 'places from afar' series… maybe she could paint her own… 

"Oi! You alright there, kid?" 

Satoru jumped and glanced over to see Tj standing beside him now with one large hand a few centimeters above his shoulder, held back by infinity. He forced a smile and shrugged his hand off. "Yeah, I'm fine… just… wanna go home," he  mumbled.

"Lucky for you, we're almost there, just a few more days, and I'll make good on my promise," he said, and patted the air above his shoulder again and walked away. 

Only a few more days… 

.

.

Satoru was casually sparring with Geto, another thing he took to doing to pass the time,  when one of the crew mates began shouting, startling them both. 

"Land ho! Not long now!" He yelled and ran off to make sure everyone was at their stations. 

"Finally," Geto sighed and put his sword away.  "I'm sick of being around these crude humans." 

"They're not that bad," Satoru said, his eyes trained on the horizon. "They're quite fascinating," he added, but mostly to himself. 

Geto scoffed, "Hm, well I'd rather they be fascinating, away from me," he grumbled. 

Satoru only hummed in response, he was far too distracted with taking in all of the familiar buildings that lined the port. 

He couldn't believe he was actually happy to see the capital, but he was.  He couldn't wait to be on land again. He couldn't wait to see her again…  

Once they got to the port he could connect with the kingdom guard and get Amanai safely transported to the castle. Then he could finally rest easy knowing that not only was she safe, but he was safe as well. He bet his soul on this mission, and as stressful as it had been, things were finally falling into place. Once they got to the port, it was only about an hour horse ride to the castle, and then he could finally rest… 

The whole hour it took them to reach the port, Satoru anxiously paced around the deck. He knew things weren't over yet. Amanai was technically still in danger until he got her to the throne room, and the castletown was the densest city on their section of the map. 

Who knew how many witches were hiding in the crowds waiting to ambush her? 

They couldn't get off the boat fast enough, but when their feet were finally on solid ground, Satoru quickly put his infinity barrier around Amanai, to both block her mana from being detected, and to protect her. 

"I know you've been practicing, but I want to be extra careful," Satoru explained when she pouted at him. "This place is too crowded for my liking."

Her shoulders hung, "I understand…"

Kuroi bowed to him, a small smile on her face, "Thank you so much, Master Gojo. You've helped us so much," she said gently.

He offered her a small smile in return, "Don't thank me yet, I still have to get you to the castle to fulfill my mission."

"Then we need to get going, it looks like a crowd is beginning to gather," Geto quietly said. 

Satoru nodded, "right—" a sudden weight dropped on his shoulder, startling him. 

"Hold up, when are we getting our pay?" Tj asked just behind him. 

Satoru relaxed slightly and attempted to shrug his hand off, but his grip suddenly tightened, blunt nails dug into his skin.. "What are—"

!!! 

Satoru suddenly lost his breath, as if someone just punched him in the gut. A high pitched sound echoed in his ears, and he looked on in confusion when he noticed the horror on Amanai and Kuroi's faces— even Geto looked shocked. 

Satoru slowly looked down and his eyes widened in shock. A blade was sticking out of his chest, and his shirt was slowly darkening with blood… 

"A deals a deal, kid, you and your group, across the sea, safely," Tj said and wrenched the blade out.

Satoru stumbled forward, still in shock, the ringing in his ears only growing louder. He heard the high pitched sound again, and seconds later realized it was Amanai, screaming. 

"Get her out of here!" Satoru yelled right as Geto grabbed Amanai's arm and ran off. 

Satoru turned around just in time to dodge another stab attempt. He pressed his hand against his chest and sent a quick healing pulse into himself, but he couldn't heal the wound properly, because Tj was striking at him fast. 

Satoru drew his sword, and blocked the next strike, only to gasp in shock by the sheer force that reverberated through his arms when their blades impacted.  Again and again their blades clashed with such strength that the force left his arms feeling numb.  

The next clash was so strong that Satoru's teeth crashed together, and he lost his grip on his sword.  He watched in slow motion as his blade hit the ground only to get snatched up by his assailant. 

In that same second, Tj kicked him in the chest, throwing him backwards through a seaside window.  Satoru landed in a heap of shattered glass, gasping in pain as he tried to collect himself, to try and heal himself again, but he just didn't have the time.

Tj jumped through the broken window after him, already poised to strike like a predator on a hunt.  His blade dug deep into the floorboards beside Satoru's face, only to drive his fist right into his chest where he'd been stabbed. 

The impact made him see white, he coughed up iron as his ribs cracked around his already damaged flesh. Satoru managed to roll away, and scramble to his feet so he could run off, desperately looking to put some space between them so he could gather his thoughts. 

"Oh, I should probably tell you, my name is actually Toji, I like my prey to know who is hunting them," he called after him. 

The name didn't ring any bells, but it didn't matter. He had to take this guy out as soon as possible, or else Amanai would be in danger. 

Satoru tried once more to heal himself, but once again, he could only manage to partially heal the wound before Toji found him, and swung at him with such speed, even he had a hard time tracking it.

He barely managed to dodge, and tried to cast infinity again, but Toji didn't give him enough time. He was relentless in his attacks, each strike carrying enough force to cut deep into the bone.  He couldn't dodge them all, and the next strike hit him in the shoulder so hard he felt his collarbone snap.

Satoru could barely register the pain before the blade was wrenched out and he took a spinning kick to the stomach, throwing him far across the street into a vendor's stall. 

Somehow, he had the strength to stumble to his feet and run behind a nearby shop for cover. The crowds were in a panic, there were people everywhere, running, shoving, screaming. Their mana was twisted in a volatile mix of terror and confusion heavy enough to taste in the air.  

Satoru had to think fast if he was going to get the upper hand… he's just human!  But he caught him off guard, he attacked him right when he transferred infinity onto Amanai… had he known? How did he know? Infinity wasn't a visible spell… 

"You know, I'm surprised you're not as strong as the stories say you are," Toji called out to him. He was nearby, but Satoru couldn't sense exactly where.  

Trying his best to stay calm, Satoru quickly cast a healing spell, but it was a slow spell,  made even worse that he didn't say the full incantation, he could never heal well on his own, and to have his mana stifled on top of that? 

Frustrated, Satoru tore the annoying focusing device off his wrist and tossed it aside. It didn't matter if he blew up a few buildings, if anything that might bring the royal guard out here sooner… 

His mana immediately pulsed to life like a wild animal released from its cage.  

He scrambled to his feet, trying to spot Toji in the crowd, but it was difficult. There were too many people running around, too many bursts of panicked mana clogging up the air. 

"I heard you're the strongest Sorcerer the kingdom has to offer," Toji said right at his side, "is that right?" 

Satoru turned towards him right as Toji swung at him with a long saber. He dodged, and sent a blast of energy his way, tearing up the cobblestone along the path, and shredding food stalls. 

Toji reappeared seconds later, welding a different, shorter blade that pulsed with a cold, dark energy. He had a strange demonic creature draped around his shoulders now as well.  "That's more like it, I was beginning to think those stories were all talk."

"What is your problem? Who put you up to this?!" Satoru said through his teeth. 

"You forget I'm a monster hunter? This is what I do. I hunt monsters. The fun begins, when the hunt begins, analyzing, watching, it's all part of it," Toji said with a smirk. 

"What are you talking about?!" Satoru yelled in confusion. 

Toji chuckled and waved his blade at him.  "All you need to know is I'm here to hunt monsters, and the Silver Wraith is the strongest monster in all the land," he said and lunged at him again. 

Satoru scowled and sent another blast at him, sending him crashing through multiple buildings. Unfortunately, as soon as he did that he realized he could no longer sense him—at all. 

Hands shaking with adrenaline, Satoru quickly cast infinity, and a small breath of relief settled in his bones. He could be safe now. Nothing could break through his infinity barrier.  

The issue now though, was that there were too many people around, panicking, screaming. They were in the way, he could kill them all by accident if he launched another spell… 

Is that it? Is he dead? It was a direct hit! He couldn't have survived any of that, he's just a human! 

Right?

Wait, I launched him in the direction of the castle, what if he went after Amanai—?!

Heart pounding in his ears, Satoru quickly turned around and— tasted fresh blood. 

A glimmer of silver flashed and a searing wave of pain quickly followed as Toji brutally drove his large hunting knife with the strange, cold energy into his neck, somehow piercing through infinity as if the barrier was never there. 

Satoru quickly wrapped his hands around the handle, thinking to pull it out, only for Toji to wrench the blade down, his strength far greater, and carved through his flesh and bone like butter. He ripped open his jugular, shattered apart his sternum, and cut through his ribs in a single second. It took two seconds more for him to rip open a gaping wound from his neck down to his hip, exposing his innards, and bright red muscle and sinew.

He couldn't feel anything, but at the same time his entire body was burning. The pain was so great he couldn't even scream— even if he had a voice to. 

The sounds in his ears were deafening, screaming, ringing, cracking— cracking bone, and a low thud that vibrated through him like thunder as Toji continued to stab and cut into him, his blade piercing his flesh again and again, and again , ripping another gash down his right leg, all the way to his knee deep enough to expose the bone.

Satoru blindly fired off another spell, which one he did not know, he just needed to get this man away from him, he just needed to—to—  the world tipped. 

The sky was bright blue. The clouds, soft, like cotton. 

 He saw another flash of silver right by his eye, and a wicked grin that belonged to a demon, not a man. 

….

…

..

.

I wonder if Utahime would like the shape of that fluffy cloud… 

.

..

… 

…. 

It kinda looks like her… How cute… 

Chapter Text

Satoru's clearest, earliest memory was of a warm spring day. It was about twenty years ago, not really considered a long time ago by witch society, but to him it was a lifetime. He was only about five years old, and had snuck away to play in the garden. 

He couldn't remember what he wore that day, or if he was good enough to have breakfast for once, but he did remember the scent of the air, fresh, the kind of way it only smells after a long, nice thunderstorm. He could remember the feel of the dirt beneath his feet, the way the sun felt on his cheeks.  

And most importantly, he remembered when he met a small ball of floof and fury that turned all of his dreary days into warmth and sunshine, even if it rained. 

This little ball of fur would turn out to be a girl, a Familiar, and would come to be known as Utahime. 

Song princess, a name that Satoru helped her find, discovered in a story about a beautiful princess with the voice of an angel, and a heart of gold. 

And for the first time, he was happy— happy to finally have a friend. 

And he knew he would never feel lonely again.

.

"Utahime? It's me," Satoru whispered as he closed his door behind him. "I brought you something to eat," he said and dug out the handful of berries he stole from the garden. 

He looked around the small room with his lip trapped between his teeth, worried that something bad happened to his new friend. "Utahime?"

A few seconds of silence ticked by, and Satoru's little heart dropped to his stomach. He was only five years old, but he still knew what fear felt like. What if something terrible happened to her? What if they found her?

"U-Uahime?" He called out once more, his voice trembling as he imagined all of the horrible things that could have happened to her.  The scariest thing he thought of, was what he saw today.  A maid that used to take care of him, a Familiar, was caught stealing eggs to give to some other Familiars that lived in further parts of the castle.  She was burned at the stake, and Satoru was forced to watch. 

He liked that lady too… Miss Yui… she used to wash his clothes and help him dress for the day when he was smaller.

Her screams were still stuck in his head. He remembered her looking at him while the flames licked at her skin. He remembered the way she cried and told him to look away.  Look away child! Look away! 

But he couldn't turn his head because the soldier that made him watch kept his head still, and he couldn't close his eyes because even if he had… he'd still be able to see… 

"U-Utahime?!" Satoru called out again, the terror resurfacing, and the tears spilling down his cheeks.

A small, fuzzy black ball crawled out from under his bed, and Satoru rushed over in tears, accidentally dropping the berries all over the floor. "Utahime!" He cried out and gathered her into his arms.  As soon as he felt her warmth he broke down into sobs. He was so relieved she was okay, he could barely breathe with how hard he cried. 

He didn't want to lose her too, even though he only knew her for a few weeks, he couldn't bear the thought of losing her. 

Her body got warmer all of a sudden, and suddenly a small pair of arms was wrapping around him. He startled and moved back in shock to see a girl sitting in front of him wearing a dress made out of what looked like burlap. 

"Utahime?" Satoru asked, shocked. 

"Are you okay, Master? What's wrong?" She asked and gently held his face in her hands. 

He frowned and shook his head. "Don't call me that, I don't like it…" 

She tilted her head. "Oh, but won't I get in trouble if I don't?"

A flash of Miss Yui burning alive shot through his mind and he shuddered and threw himself into her arms again. "You can call me Gojo then… I think they'll be okay with that," he mumbled as he clung to her. "I-I don't want them to hurt you…" 

Utahime nodded and held on to him until he stopped crying. When he was finally calm, she coaxed him up to his bed and tucked him in, then shifted back into a cat right in front of him. 

Satoru was amazed. He was told in lessons that Familiars could change into animal forms and human forms, but he never truly understood it until he saw Utahime do it right in front of him. Familiars weren't allowed to freely walk around the castle, so he never saw one shift until today. 

He suddenly remembered something she said when they first met not long ago: I'm not a cat! I'm a girl!

Now he finally fully understood. Utahime was a person! He frowned and sat up. So why did she go back under the bed? 

"Utahime, why are you under the bed?" He asked, frowning.

"I'm supposed to stay out of sight," she said. 

He climbed out of bed and crawled under it to join her. "Then I'll stay under here with you."

"No, won't you catch a cold if you stay on the floor?" She asked in concern. 

"What about you?" He asked with a pout. 

"I dunno… I used to sleep outside all the time. I'll be fine," she said. 

Satoru huffed and crossed his arms. "I want to stay with you."

In the end, Utahime caved and jumped back on his bed, and Satoru happily joined her, though not before frantically picking up the berries he dropped, and nearly crying over getting them dirty… 

But Utahime simply thanked him and happily ate them from his hand, and everything was okay again. 

He had nightmares about Miss Yui for two months after her execution, and each time he woke up, gasping, and crying, Utahime would shift into her human form and hold him close to her chest, she'd hug him fiercely while he cried, and well after he calmed. 

It was the third night when he realized that Utahime cried when he did, and yet another lesson he was taught made sense. He tried his best not to be sad, because he didn't want Utahime to be sad, but even when he could not hold back the tears, she would still hold him until he felt okay again.  

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

"What happened to you?" Utahime asked, her voice filled with worry.

Satoru sighed heavily and quietly shuffled into the room. His whole body ached. "I couldn't figure out how to do this stupid spell, so the instructor made me kneel on rice for the rest of the day…"

Utahime frowned and jumped off the bed and changed into her human form. The dress he got a scullery maid to make for her out of one of his old shirts was starting to look a little small on her.  That was about a year ago now that he thought about it.  He needed to get her a new one made.

 "Sit on the bed," she said and stood in front of him. 

He sat on the edge of the bed just like she said, and patiently waited for what she wanted him to do next. 

Utahime knelt beside him and examined his cut up knees, and gently brushed away a few rice grains that were still embedded in his skin. "Don't move," she said and rushed over to the small wash basin in the corner of the room, and returned to him with a damp cloth. 

She gently dabbed at his skin, cleaning up the small stains of blood, and when she was done she leaned forward and gently pressed her lips against both of his knees.  

"How does it feel now?" She asked hopefully.

Satoru carefully rubbed his knees, in truth, they still hurt a lot, but he was suddenly worried about upsetting Utahime if he told her whatever she did didn't work. 

"Was that a spell?" He asked curiously, trying to understand what she did, and if he needed to be patient and wait for any effects.  

"Um… I think so?" She mumbled and looked down. "I remember seeing a lady do that to her baby once– before I met you… the baby stopped crying so… it must work…" 

"But I'm not a baby!" He protested, cheeks red. 

"I know! I just—" her face flushed and she absently rubbed her own knees. "Did it work or not?"

Satoru realized right then that she probably hurt as well. He remembered one of his teachers mentioning that Familiars shared pain with their Masters, but claimed it was on a muted level. He didn't know how much she actually felt, but she did look uncomfortable, so that was enough for him to worry.

"Maybe I gotta do it too?" he suggested and patted the space next to him. 

Utahime climbed up to sit beside him, and Satoru leaned down to press his lips against her knees, mimicking what she did to him. 

"I dunno if it worked," he said as he straightened. 

Utahime bit her lip and gently rubbed her own knees for a few moments. "I… think it did."

He grinned and hugged her, relieved. "I think it did too!"

She perked up immediately and hugged him back, and Satoru realized he really did feel better.

"Thank you, Utahime!"

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

"I want to go with you now," Utahime said as she jumped off the bed, her pointy little ears low against her head. "Please? You're gone longer and longer every day!"

Satoru frowned at himself in the mirror. It was true, the past year was especially tough.  His tutors upped his training and lessons to much longer hours of the day.  That left Utahime alone in his room far longer than he liked, but he was afraid they would hurt her if they found out about her. 

They'd been friends for about three years, and even though it was difficult, Satoru managed to keep her a secret too. 

"Uta, I don't know if that's a good idea," he sighed, feeling guilty because he could sense how hopeful she was.

"But I can maintain the form now! The one I've been practicing," she said and jumped onto his shoulder and smoothly shifted into a scarf. "It doesn't even take my mana anymore!"

Satoru bit his lip and carefully smoothed his hands over the soft scarf she shifted into. "How come it doesn't take your mana anymore?"

He suddenly felt embarrassed through their bond, "Because… I was just doing it wrong…" she said in his head. 

"Oh, really?" 

"Yeah… I'm sorry!" She said, worried. "I didn't know!"

"That's okay! That just means you can come with me now!" He said and happily nuzzled his face against the soft scarf. 

She giggled softly, and he grinned. "That kinda tickles!"

He giggled as well and pulled on his boots as he rushed out of his room. For the first time, he was excited to go to his lessons because Utahime was with him now, and he didn't have to worry about her safety because he wouldn't let anyone touch her.

Now, he didn't care if his lessons were extended to all day long, he had Utahime, so everything was okay. 

. 

… 

.

"Oh it's here!" Satoru happily exclaimed when he and Utahime returned to his room after another long day of lessons. 

"What is?" Utahime asked as she jumped off his shoulder, her ears perked up in curiosity. 

"Your new dress!" He said and kicked his boots off and rushed over to his bed. Folded neatly on the foot of the bed was the dress he finally got official permission to have made for Utahime.  It was a plain, gray linen dress, paired with a thin white petticoat, but it was neatly made and more importantly it was brand new.

"What do you think?" He asked as he held it up to her. 

Utahime shifted into her human form and eagerly ran over to accept it from him. 

He really was excited to give it to her. For the last five years, he's been taking his spare shirts to the scullery maids and asking them to sew them into dresses for Utahime in exchange for helping them with their chores. 

The result was a patchwork dress,  often made from different shades of blue, gray and beige.  Now, she finally had something of her own! 

"I love it, Gojo!" Utahime said and threw her arms around him. "Thank you!"

He grinned and hugged her back. "Now you won't have to wear those patchy dresses anymore!"

She pulled away and frowned at him, "but I liked those dresses too…" 

He shrugged, "But they weren't as nice as this one, right?" 

She bit her lip and clutched at the patchwork dress she currently had on. "But… you gave me this…" 

He suddenly felt upset and pulled her into a hug.  "Don't worry, you can still keep those!" 

She perked up, "Really?!"

"Yeah!" He said and squeezed her tighter. "I want you to be happy, Uta."

"I am happy! I'm very happy," she said and pulled away to look at him again. "Thank you so much!"

He grinned and hugged her again, too overwhelmed with joy to do much else. 

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

"Are you sure you don't want to go to town? It's your big day!" Utahime said and pawed at his arm.  

Satoru just sighed and continued to stare at the ceiling.  He wasn't in the mood. Today just didn't feel special to him. So what if he was fifteen now? That didn't change anything.  He was still property to The Crown, and would be until the day he died, by old age, or some kind of mission, whichever came first. 

"Come on, Gojo, why are you brooding? What happened?" Utahime asked.

He grimaced and pulled the blanket over his body, and turned his back to her, "I'm not brooding…" 

"Yes you are! You can't lie to me, dummy, I know what it feels like when you brood!" Utahime insisted. 

He grumbled to himself and pulled the blanket over his head. So what if she was right? That didn't change anything… 

He felt the blanket move, then she was digging under his arm to snuggle up at his side. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her, and buried his face in her fur, immediately feeling better just from holding her. 

"What's wrong, Gojo?" She softly asked. "I won't tell anyone, I promise," she said. 

He smiled wryly and squeezed her tighter until she squeaked, just because he thought it was cute when she made that sound, and maybe to annoy her a little.  But Utahime didn't snap at him like she would have on a normal day, she just lifted her head up to look at his face, and patiently waited for him to speak. He could see his sad expression reflected in her large amber eyes, and he sighed and pulled her closer to his chest,  curling his body around her small form. 

Utahime didn't need to promise him that, he knew she never told anyone anything he told her without him explicitly telling her it was okay— even the embarrassing things about him, she never said a word, not even to their new friend, Shoko. He trusted Utahime with more than his life, and she knew that, but she always promised him silly things like that when he was hesitant to open up. 

But even if he was hesitant, he always, always told her the truth. She was Utahime, how could he not? 

"I just… I don't want to celebrate my birthday… it doesn't mean anything," he whispered into her fur. "I'm still here, stuck in the castle… I can't go anywhere, I can't do anything without permission…" technically, that rule didn't really apply to him, not really, because he didn't listen and would often sneak out of the castle on his own. But even though he did as he pleased on the surface, deep down he knew it didn't really matter. 

Because his soul belonged to the king, and The Crown, and if they really wanted to, at any moment, they could command him to listen to them, and no matter how powerful he was, it didn't matter. He would be forced to obey… 

Even if he didn't want to. 

"M-My life doesn't really have any meaning, Uta…" he whispered around the lump in his throat. "I'll never get to be anything more than just a weapon… I'll never be free…" he shut his eyes as tears welled up on his lash line, and soaked into her soft, black fur. It wasn't fair. He lost his opportunity at having a real life all because of a decision made for him when he was a baby. 

He was sold to The Crown by the very people that were supposed to protect him. Why hadn't they wanted him? Why did they get rid of him? What did he do as a baby that would warrant selling him? Was gold really worth that much? Did he do something wrong, at such a young age? What could he have done? Was simply existing that much of a crime? 

His birthday was nothing special, it was the day he was sold to The Crown, why would he celebrate that?

He felt Utahime shift into her human form— something she did less and less these days, and gently wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a fierce hug that only encouraged more tears to fall. 

Utahime was trapped here because of him. She said she didn't mind, that she wanted to stay, and even claimed that she was happy here with him. But lately that only made him feel guilty. 

"Uta… are you sure you don't mind staying here with me?" Satoru hesitantly asked. 

She leaned back to look at him and gently cupped his face in her hand. "I'm positive. There is nowhere in all the realm I'd rather be than right here, by your side."

He blushed and averted his eyes, unused to seeing her human face so closely. "Even though you'll be stuck here forever?"

She nodded and gently brushed her thumb under his eye, wiping away his tears. "Yes but I'm not stuck here. I'm with you, where I belong, and I've never been happier. Your life has meaning to me, Satoru… it always will." 

His face felt warmer all of a sudden and he nodded and tightened his hold on her. "Thank you, Uta…I'd be so lost without you…" 

But he wasn't, he had Utahime, and so he knew everything would be okay.  

…

..

And everything was okay. And so when his sixteenth birthday slowly rolled along, Satoru let Utahime throw him a mini birthday party. It was held at night, so they wouldn't get in trouble, and they invited a few Familiars and Shoko to hang out and play a few games in their room. 

Utahime had made him a small strawberry parfait that she stuck a candle in and he shared it with her after making a wish at her behest.

He didn't know what to wish for. He had everything he could realistically get, but Utahime urged him to make the wildest, craziest wish he could possibly think of, even if he didn't think it was possible— because that's what wishes were for. 

So sitting huddled in his dark room on a stormy night surrounded by the only people that he felt safe around, Satoru wished to be free, because deep down, he'd always wanted to be. 

.

And it was only a year after he made that impossible wish that Utahime blew his mind, tore open a new door for him with nothing but her word, and her incredible stubbornness. 

"I think you should challenge the King to a duel," she said so casually that Satoru swore he misheard her.

Satoru nearly choked on the juice he was in the middle of drinking. "W-What? Why the hell would I do that?"

Utahime shifted into her human form and put her hands on her hips. "To win back your soul! To win back your freedom, of course." 

He had to be hearing things. "What? You can't be serious? Who are you, and what have you done with my Utahime?"

She huffed and grabbed his arm and shook him. "I'm serious! I really think it can work!"

He stared at her in silent shock as he thought about what she said. Utahime would never suggest something that she thought was impossible, she just wasn't like that. She was always careful, and urged him to be as well.  

"The king is supposed to be the strongest Sorcerer in the kingdom! For him to turn down a direct challenge would have people questioning his reign," Utahime continued.

Satoru bit his lip and set his drink aside. He was fretting , unconsciously feeling the need to fill in the role of the cautious one between them.  "Uta, if I do that, then I'll be labeled a traitor, and if I lose… they'll execute us!  I-I can't let that happen, I can't let you get hurt like that." 

Utahime shook her head. "It won't happen because you will win! You're strong, Gojo. If anyone can do it... I truly believe it is you… no one else can do this!"  

He smiled slightly, his nerves soothed by how confident Utahime was. She very rarely urged him to do something unless she was absolutely sure it was a good idea, and now he felt none of her reservations, but even so, he was still unsure. "Where is this coming from, Uta?"

She started to pace around the room. "It comes from watching you, especially over the past year,  you've grown so much, you're incredibly talented! Think about it Gojo, you can bend space, you can make things float and shift at will, you can see mana in ways that no one else can, and who knows! Maybe someday you can even teleport! I know you can do it!" She grabbed his hands and squeezed them tight. "I believe in you, truly."

He blushed and looked down, not used to being praised by her. Utahime never praised him like this. She congratulated him when he accomplished things, of course, but this was different. This fiery determination that filled him with adrenaline was foreign to him, but he would be lying if he said he didn't like the feeling. 

"But… what if I fail you, Utahime?" Satoru quietly asked, his nerves a potent mix of fear and excitement.

She laced their fingers together and shook her head. "You can never fail me, Satoru… never, no matter what happens in the end ." 

 A wobbly grin slowly took over his face and he nodded as a rush of determination filled his veins. "Okay! Let's do it." 

.

Little did he know, what he originally thought would be one duel, turned into so much more. 

You dare to challenge The Crown? Fine then, you will gain your freedom if you manage to defeat the full might The Crown has to offer, The king declared, and so it was known that Gojo Satoru was to face off against the King's entire sorcerer army in exchange for his soul. Defeat meant death, it meant eternal servitude, but he accepted the challenge without fear, looked the old King in the eyes and said, bring it on. 

But that night, tucked away in his room, away from prying eyes, Satoru broke down, filled with anxiety and uncertainty, he couldn't believe what he just did. Tomorrow marked the first of nearly one thousand battles he would be expected to endure, having only enough time to eat once a day and sleep for a few hours, if he was lucky.  Tomorrow meant win or die, tomorrow was the beginning of the end either way. 

"W-What have I done!? I should have known that bastard was going to cheat!" Satoru said and angrily threw all of his books off of his desk. He wouldn't need his notes anymore, he no longer had the time or luxury to study. He was a prisoner, a traitor to the crown, and his sentence was death. 

Utahime jumped off his shoulder and shifted into her human form and threw her arms around him. "Don't blame yourself! It was my idea! If you must hate anyone, then hate me!"

He immediately broke and fell to his knees, distraught. "Uta… I don't know what to do… I can't hate you… I'm— I'm scared," he mumbled. In truth he was more than scared, he was terrified, but then Utahime gently lifted his face in her hands and wiped away his tears with the most determined look in her eyes. 

"You got this, Gojo! Can you imagine the look on their faces when you win!? Let them underestimate you, it'll only make the victory sweeter!"

He smiled slowly and nodded, relief filling his veins the more her words repeated in his head. Utahime was right, he could do this. He wouldn't back down. It was all or nothing. Besides, he had Utahime, so he knew everything was going to be okay.  

.

. 

Each battle was harder than the last, each one left him more exhausted and drained, but Utahime continued to give him the strength to stay on his feet, to get back up. She gave him the courage to keep pushing forward, even when he started to break, she put him back together with potions snuck in from Shoko, and words that stuck to his mind like glue.

You're strong, like strong, strong,  you're the only one in the realm that can do this!  You were born for greatness!

It doesn't matter how many losers they throw at you, we got this! I'm with you! 

You're not alone you know? I believe in you.

You can do it, Satoru! I'm with you to the end!

And he got to his feet, again, and again, until finally, finally! They were free… 

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

Satoru was so excited that he thought he was going to actually throw up. He'd been standing in line at the courthouse waiting to see if his paperwork got accepted for hours.  He left Utahime at the shop, painting the outside so he could stand in line, and the wait was killing him, killing him. 

"Young man, are you alright?" An older human man asked behind him.

Satoru turned to him and grinned. He didn't blame the man for being concerned. His mana was filling the room with energy, making quite a lot of people restless. The witches in the room shot him annoyed glares, but the humans could only shuffle their feet and look around in confusion, not understanding what they were feeling. 

"Yes!" Satoru said, too anxious to lower his voice much. "Today is the day my Utahime and I finally get the deed to our home approved!" He excitedly explained. 

"Oh? That is exciting news, is this your first house?" The man asked.

"Yup! We built it together from the ground up! It only took a few months 'cause we worked everyday, and I used a bit of magic here and there, but it's finally done and I can finally give her a proper home!" He quickly said, rushed and excited. 

"Congratulations, young man, I still remember when I got my first house with my wife. I was so happy to see her settle in a place she could call home."

Satoru grinned. "Yeah, I'm relieved too, 'cause the rainy season is coming up soon, and now she'll be able to sit by the fireplace, and read her favorite books!" He sighed and rubbed his hands over his chest. "I've been waiting for hours, I don't think I can wait anymore, I might puke— ugh… What if we get denied? What am I going to tell her?" He asked, mostly to himself as he nervously chewed the inside of his cheek. 

"You'll simply tell her the truth. It will be of no fault of your own, I'm sure she'll understand. If she's been at your side for this long, I'm sure she's a very understanding woman," the man said. 

"Yeah… I wouldn't be here at all without her. She's my best friend, I can't imagine my life without her," Satoru said with a small smile. 

"I'm happy for you, young man. Not many of us are lucky enough to say that we get to spend the rest of our lives with our best friend."

Satoru nodded and clutched the paperwork in his hand close to his chest. "Yeah… I'm very lucky, I'm so grateful to have her…" 

It was only a few minutes later that Satoru was finally called to get his paperwork reviewed. Officially stamped, and signed, he all but flew out of there, excited to finally show Utahime.

She was still painting the shop, the wall she was working on nearly finished. 

"Uta! Look!" Satoru yelled as he ran over and lifted her into his arms. "Uta, it's official! We've done it!" He said, and nuzzled his nose against hers before setting her down to shove the documents in her face.

He had the shop registered in both of their names, and seeing her slowly realize that as she read the paper was so satisfying he could hardly contain his excitement.

The names on the deed were written as such;  Gojo Satoru and Utahime.  

──── ∞ ~୨°୧~ ∞ ────

They were two years into their business when Satoru woke up one morning with the sense that something was off. It was usually quiet in the mornings, but this morning felt quiet, as if a spell had been cast in the area to cut out all noise. 

Alarmed, he quickly got out of bed to look for Utahime. He couldn't sense her presence either, and that was what concerned him the most.  She never left without telling him, and he was worried something bad happened to her. 

He threw on a robe, not bothering to change out of his sleepwear, and rushed out of the room. As soon as he got to the kitchen, he froze when he saw the scene before him. 

The room was decorated with all kinds of blue flowers and their little table was filled to the brim with food. In the center of the table was a clearly homemade cake, indicated by the liberal way the frosting was lathered on it. 

Utahime rushed by, donned in her favorite pastel pink apron, and when she saw him, she gasped in surprise. "Gojo! I didn't see you come down— uh good morning!"

He smiled and gestured around the room. "What's going on? What's the occasion?"

"Happy birthday!" Utahime yelled and snapped her fingers, making a small sparkle of light and glitter– a simple charm he taught her as children.  

He laughed lightly, confused. Today was nowhere near the day of his birthday, it wasn't even his half birthday, something some humans liked to celebrate. "Uta, what are you talking about? It's not my birthday."

She bit her lip and absently fussed with one of her low pigtails. "Uh… well,  I know… but today's the anniversary of when you won your freedom… I thought… it would be a better day to celebrate– because during your actual birthday… you get so sad and—"

He rushed over and pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you so much, Uta," he murmured as he nuzzled his face into her soft hair. "Did you make this cake yourself?"

She lit up,  "yes! Do you want a piece now?" 

He grinned, "yes, I wanna have a nice big piece!"

She nodded and rushed over to grab him a plate, and dug in her pocket to grab a few candles. "Wait, you have to make a wish first!" She said as she quickly set them up. 

He laughed lightly and snuck a bit of frosting from the edge with his finger. "Mh! Wow, it's so good!"

She gasped and whirled on him. "Gojo!"