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Fuck Me Up

Summary:

If you could curse one day of your life, it would be the day you met him.

Because him — he’s fucked up fucking for you, forever.

Notes:

Author's Note:

So, fun fact: I initially uploaded this fic here but then deleted it because I didn’t want to mix up my Star Trek account with my BTS account. But at the end of the day, I’m the same person—just navigating different fandoms. And honestly, if some people like my writing style and happen to share fandoms with me, they might enjoy my writing in other fandoms too. So... here we are. I’m uploading it here again. :)

 


I am merely writing this for my own sanity.

I've been working on another fic—that's still in my drafts because I can't write a single line without overthinking(kkangpae)—but it's so intricate and complicated that it's giving me literal headaches.

So I thought, Why don't I clear my head by writing something shorter, simpler, and much less complex?

...And then I immediately failed at that. ( ̄▽ ̄)

⚠️ THIS FIC IS REALISTIC. THESE CHARACTERS ARE HUMAN. IF THAT'S NOT YOUR THING, LEAVE NOW. ⚠️

I don't write perfect people. I don't write emotionally intelligent, well-adjusted characters who communicate all their problems in a neat, mature way. If that's what you want, this fic is not for you.

I write realism. I write human. That means messy, irrational, self-sabotaging, flawed, emotionally stunted, and reactive people. Because that's how people are. And that's why I write at all—because every time I read a fic where characters are just a little too well-adjusted, too quick to resolve things, too perfect, some tiny part of me rolls my eyes.

I love stories that ache with humanity, that make you want to shake the characters because you get it, because you've been there. That's the whole point.

So, if you expect people in this fic to handle their trauma gracefully and with healthy coping mechanisms, please run.

Now, moving on.

I don't plan for this fic to be as long as my other one (which stays unpublished because I refuse to lose motivation on a random Tuesday and leave y'all hanging), but I'm being chill about updates. I'll post when I feel like it.

Gotta take care of my mental health. (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

Edit:

Oh, and just so we're clear—this fic will make you feel things. Good things. Bad things. Angst. Frustration. Anger? Lust? Don't say I didn't warn you. I like messy. :)

Edit 2:

I lied. No 3K-word chapters—more like 5K.

And "150K words only, not complex"? Yeah. Lies. All lies. This is messy and complicated because I physically cannot write stories that don't bleed with psychological depth and emotional trauma. That's just how I vibe, apparently.

Y/N is mouthy and immature. Jungkook is annoying and emotionally avoidant. That is intentional. Things have to be bad before they get better.

And just to reiterate:

My characters are not a reflection of the real people behind them. The members are purely used for visual purposes.

(Trust me to overcomplicate this somehow. I just love psychological drama, okay? FML.)

P.S. Tumblr & Twitter: @jungkoode

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Fresh start, same weight

Chapter Text

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

Moving sucks.

The boxes are heavier than you'd like to admit, the weight of them making your arms burn, but you keep going. Because that's what you do. You push through, even when you're dead tired or half pissed off at yourself for not hiring movers.

The gritty heat of New York City in August sticks to your skin as you lug the last of your stuff up the stairs to your new apartment. Cheap rent means broken elevator. Cheap rent means you're sweating through your shirt before you even knock on the door.

When it swings open, you're met with the sight of your new roommate. Or one of them, at least.

He's standing there, lean, loose-limbed, wearing a dark hoodie despite the oppressive summer heat. His bleached hair looks almost white in the dim light of the hallway. The first thing you notice is how still he is. Like, eerily still. He blinks at you, slow and deliberate, like you've interrupted something—though it's clear he doesn't care enough to be irritated by it.

"Y/N?" he asks, voice as lazy as his posture. You nod, and he steps back, wordlessly letting you inside.

"Yoongi," he says, half a nod in your direction as he glances down at your box. You can't tell if he's sizing it up or just wondering what the hell you're doing carrying it on your own.

"You need help with that?" His voice doesn't sound particularly invested, but you catch a flicker of something in his eyes. Politeness? Obligation? You can't tell.

"I got it," you say, even though your arms are screaming for a break.

Of course, it would be nice to hand off some of the work, but you've always hated asking for help. And especially not from some guy you don't know, who already looks like he'd rather be doing anything else.

"Alright," he replies with a shrug, and that's it.

He moves away, padding back inside, his socks soft against the hardwood. You blink, standing there for a second longer than necessary, then shake it off. You're here now, in this cramped, dingy apartment, where the walls are scuffed and the kitchen light flickers every other second. Home sweet home.

Yoongi disappears down the short hallway to the left, leaving you alone in the cluttered living room. You notice the secondhand couch, positioned in the middle of the room but pressed against a long, narrow kitchen table—the kind meant for stools rather than chairs. It serves as a makeshift divider between the living area and the open kitchen. The coffee table, cluttered with empty takeout containers and a couple of forgotten textbooks, sits in front of the couch. The faint smell of something you can't quite place—cigarettes, maybe?—lingers in the air.

You exhale, setting the box down with a thud. The place has character, you tell yourself. That's what people say when things are a little run-down, right? Character.

A few minutes later, Yoongi reappears. He's changed into an oversized t-shirt, the hoodie abandoned somewhere.

"I can get the rest of your boxes," he says, like it's an afterthought. He doesn't look at you when he says it, just past you, like helping was always the plan and you're the one who's being weird about it.

"You sure?" you ask, more out of reflex than actual concern. Your arms aren't exactly in the mood to carry another load.

Yoongi nods, already moving toward the door without waiting for a response.

You follow him back down to the street, watching as he picks up two of your boxes like it's nothing. You wonder, briefly, how many times he's had to help new people move in, how many strangers he's let into this apartment. Maybe he's used to it by now. Maybe that's why he's so... indifferent.

As you walk back upstairs, you steal a glance at him. There's something unsettling about how calm he is, how little he seems to care about this whole process. But at the same time, you kind of appreciate it. No small talk, no unnecessary questions about your major or why you're moving here. Just... silence.

When you get back inside, he drops the boxes next to the others and turns to you.

"There's beer in the fridge if you want."

His voice is still that same low monotone, like everything he says is just a suggestion.

You raise an eyebrow. "At noon?"

Yoongi shrugs. "Helps with unpacking."

You let out a small laugh despite yourself. Great, you think. Your first roommate is either a functioning alcoholic or just really good at pretending nothing matters.

"Maybe later," you say, and Yoongi nods, walking towards what you assume is his room. The door clicks shut behind him, and just like that, you're alone again.

You take a deep breath, scanning the space. It's not ideal—none of this is, really—but it's better than your parents' house. And rent in New York is a joke, so random roommates are just part of the deal. You remind yourself that you're here for school, for a fresh start. Not to make friends.

Still, there's something about the stillness Yoongi leaves behind that lingers in the room. Like the apartment isn't quite empty even when you're the only one in it.

You drop onto the couch, legs stretched out, staring at the ceiling. The cushions are lumpy, smelling faintly of something—cigarettes again, or maybe weed. It's hard to tell, and you're too tired to care. The kind of tired that settles deep in your bones, made worse by the fact that you're nowhere near done unpacking.

But at least the hard part is over, right? You're in. You're here. You're out of your parents' house, away from the small town you'd spent years clawing to escape. New York, with all its chaos, grime, and ridiculous rent, feels like some kind of warped freedom.

You force yourself to get up, pushing off the couch, and start tugging at the tape on one of the boxes. It's the one marked essentials—a sarcastic lie considering it's filled with clothes you'll probably never wear and random knick-knacks you didn’t have the heart to throw away. One of those just in case boxes. You grimace as you pull out a sweater. Like you'll need that anytime soon, with the way the city is baking in the August heat.

The door creaks open, and you look up to see Yoongi again, standing in the doorway of his room, his head tilted as he watches you rummage through your box.

"You're unpacking already?" he asks, sounding vaguely surprised. You're starting to pick up on the fact that Yoongi doesn’t seem to do anything quickly—not talking, not moving, not even blinking.

"I figured if I leave it for later, it'll just sit here for weeks," you say, pulling out another sweater and cramming it back into the box. "Might as well get it over with."

He hums in response, leaning against the doorframe like he's waiting for something. You glance up at him, and for a second, the silence feels a little too heavy. Like he's observing you, trying to figure something out without asking. It makes your skin prickle.

"Do you work or something?" you ask, half to break the quiet, half out of genuine curiosity. You still don’t know much about him, just that he lives here and seems unnervingly calm about everything.

"Yeah. Music," he says, scratching the back of his neck, but he doesn’t elaborate. Of course he doesn’t.

You nod, chewing on your lip. A musician, huh? Makes sense. He has that broody, artsy vibe—probably spends most of his time in his room working on beats or whatever people like him do. You resist the urge to ask him more, reminding yourself that you didn’t come here to make friends, or get involved in whatever’s going on in your roommates’ lives. You just need a place to crash while you figure out how the hell you’re going to survive college in this overpriced city.

"Cool," you mutter instead, shoving another sweater—how did you even pack this many?—back into the box.

Yoongi lingers for a moment longer, then nods toward the kitchen. "Like I said, beer’s in the fridge if you want it."

This time, you don’t argue. "Yeah, alright," you reply, finally giving in. Maybe unpacking will be a little less miserable if you're buzzed.

You follow him into the kitchen, which is slightly less depressing than the living room, if you ignore the flickering light and the fact that there’s no real counter space. Yoongi reaches into the fridge and hands you a bottle. You take it, twisting off the cap and leaning back against the sink, while he props himself against the counter, sipping his own drink.

There’s a quiet comfort in the lack of conversation. Yoongi doesn’t fill the space with meaningless chatter, and you’re grateful for that. It’s not awkward, just... easy. He’s detached, sure, but not in a way that makes you feel weird. It’s almost like he exists on a different frequency—one you haven’t quite tuned into yet.

"You here for school?" he asks suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. NYU," you answer, taking a long swig of the beer. It’s cheap and warm, but you barely notice.

Yoongi just nods, like he expected that. "Jungkook goes there too," he adds, his tone casual but the mention of the name makes your ears perk up.

Right. The other roommate. The one who hasn’t shown up yet. You’d almost forgotten about him in all the moving chaos. You remember seeing the name on the lease—Jeon Jungkook—but you don’t know anything about him beyond that.

"Is he... around?" you ask, though the answer is obvious. The apartment’s been dead quiet since you arrived, and something tells you you’d know if someone else was here.

Yoongi shakes his head. "Not right now. Probably with his friends."

You take another sip of beer, mulling that over. So, a musician and a social butterfly. This should be interesting.

"Anything I should know about him?" you ask, trying to keep your voice light, though you’re genuinely curious. You’ve already gotten the sense that Yoongi’s easy to live with—quiet, unobtrusive—but there’s no telling what kind of chaos the third roommate might bring.

Yoongi glances at you, his expression unreadable, then shrugs. "Jungkook’s... alright."

There’s something about the way he says it that makes you pause, like there’s a story behind those words that you’re not being told. But before you can ask more, Yoongi sets his beer down and stretches, like the conversation’s over.

"I’ll be in my room if you need anything," he says, already turning to leave.

You watch him go, feeling that same stillness creep back into the room as the door clicks shut behind him.

Jungkook’s alright.

The words bounce around your head as you finish off your beer, trying to figure out what the hell they’re supposed to mean. You’re not sure if Yoongi’s being cryptic, or if that’s just how he talks about everything.

Either way, you guess you’ll find out soon enough.

You’re left with Yoongi’s parting words and the faint clink of his door closing, the sound reverberating through the thin walls. Jungkook’s alright. A statement that could mean anything—or nothing at all.

The silence settles in thick around you, as if the apartment’s absorbing it. With Yoongi gone, the place feels even smaller, the air heavier, as if it’s been lived in for too long by people who don’t talk much. The kind of place where secrets get stuck in corners, gathering dust.

You sip the last of your beer, leaning against the sink, the sharp metallic taste mixing with the stale warmth of the room. The thought of Jungkook lingers, though you quickly push it away. No point trying to decode a guy you haven’t even met yet.

You glance at the boxes still stacked near the door, the last hurdle before you can call this place yours. The thought of unpacking exhausts you, but sitting in this half-done space makes your skin crawl. You decide to tackle the basics—at least enough to make it feel like you didn’t just get here on a whim.

Back in the living room, you pull open a box labeled Books + Misc, and a stack of novels topples out onto the floor with a muted thud. You stare at them for a second, wondering why the hell you thought you’d need all this when you haven’t even figured out how to feed yourself in this city yet. A couple textbooks, sure, but the rest? The stack of poetry collections you brought from home seems laughably out of place here, like a relic from some other life you’re trying to leave behind.

You set them on the coffee table, a half-hearted attempt to make this place feel like it belongs to you. The couch creaks under your weight as you sit, staring at the peeling paint on the walls, the faint water stain near the ceiling, the sound of traffic bleeding through the cracked window.

The room feels heavy in a way you didn’t expect, as if there’s something pressing in from all sides, a presence that you can’t quite shake. You shake your head, trying to laugh at yourself. You’ve always been like this—getting weird in unfamiliar spaces, as if your brain’s determined to find something wrong even when everything’s perfectly fine. It’s just an apartment, just four walls and two random roommates. No ghosts here.

Probably.

You stand, deciding to push through and finish unpacking your clothes. The small bedroom that’s now yours is still a maze of half-open boxes and crumpled bags, but at least it’s your mess. The single window lets in just enough light to make the room look less depressing, though you can’t help but notice the faint smell of old paint, that same mustiness that lingers in old buildings like this. You wrinkle your nose, already making a mental note to grab some candles or something to mask the scent.

After a while, the rhythmic task of hanging up clothes becomes automatic. Shirts, jeans, the same sweatshirt you’ve had since high school—things that remind you, even in this weirdly suffocating city, of who you are. Or, at least, who you were. The space around you starts to take shape, but it still doesn’t feel like you yet. Maybe that’s just New York, though. The city’s too loud, too indifferent to care who you are or where you’ve come from. You’re just another body in its endless sprawl.

Eventually, you sink down onto the bed, more tired than you’d like to admit. The mattress feels stiff, not yet broken in, but it’s better than nothing. You lay back, staring at the cracked ceiling. There’s a hum in the distance—cars, people shouting, music drifting from an apartment below. It’s a far cry from the suffocating quiet of your old bedroom back home.

Your phone buzzes from where you left it on the floor. You reach for it lazily, already knowing what’s waiting for you: texts from your parents. You wish the thought didn’t make you internally recoil as much as it does.

𝙼𝚘𝚖: 𝙷𝚘𝚠'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎? 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚎𝚝?

You stare at the screen, debating if you even want to respond. There’s a part of you that feels guilty for how you left things back home—leaving them behind without much of a plan, just the vague idea of getting out. But you’d never have made it here if you’d let yourself get tangled in their worries, their expectations.

Your thumb hovers over the keyboard for a moment before you type out a quick, noncommittal response.

𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚑. 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍. 𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐.

You toss the phone back onto the floor, not waiting for a reply. You almost feel guilty for the way your brain immediately wants to run away from the conversation. To escape. Like you always do.

Your thoughts drift back to Yoongi. His quiet presence still feels strange, like a puzzle you’re not sure you want to solve yet. He seems content to exist without explanation, floating through the apartment with the kind of calm that makes you wonder if anything fazes him at all.

And then there’s Jungkook. The mystery roommate who’s apparently “alright.” You scoff softly at the thought. It’s almost laughable how little you know about him—just a name and the fact that he goes to NYU, like you. You’re not expecting much. People always disappoint, especially when you’re crammed into tiny spaces with them. But something about the way Yoongi said his name keeps nagging at you.

Before you know it, the room is starting to blur, exhaustion pulling at the edges of your vision. You’re too tired to overthink anymore. Your eyes flutter shut, the city outside fading into the background as you drift off. You’ll deal with everything—school, Jungkook, this weird, cramped apartment—later.

For now, sleep.

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

Chapter 2: Phoenix

Notes:

[𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞:

 

Okay... so I said something about keeping chapters at around 3k, right? Well, I lied. Enjoy the 4.5k I somehow managed to vomit out after a sudden possession of inspiration last night. (I’m sure the muses were watching over me or something...) <3 (∩˃o˂∩)♡

I’m really, really excited for this chapter because we finally meet Jungkook!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ And yes, I know he’s coming off as an asshole right now—but bear with him, okay? (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ He’s a character with layers, I swear. It’s just that... well, all my characters tend to have issues, don’t they? (I have a habit of creating people with emotional baggage, apparently. Oops.) But I promise, there’s a lot more to him than what you see here. He has his reasons, and you’ll get to uncover them as the story progresses. I’m excited for you to unravel him. <3 ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Speaking of Jungkook, I couldn’t help but add that little nickname, Phoenix—it felt like such a fitting touch. I’ve never been fond of using “Y/N” in narration; it tends to break the flow for me, and I wanted something that would feel more organic to the story. The nickname just... clicked. (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ✧ There’s something about using nicknames that can eventually evolve into pet names later on—it’s intimate in a way that writing “Y/N” could never capture. I hope you guys like it as much as I do. 🖤 ('。• ᵕ •。')

Now, I have to talk about Griffin, our resident fuzzy little chaos. 🐾 Honestly, I’m so excited I got to introduce him here because he’s going to add an extra dynamic to the story. I love the way pets can silently observe everything happening around them, almost like they’re in on the bigger picture. Griffin, in his own quiet way, is a grounding element for the chaos that’s about to unfold. There’s just something so comforting about having a cat in the narrative—especially when the human characters are dealing with all their emotional storms.

Plus, I had a lot of fun with the whole “who does this cat belong to?” mystery. It’s a subtle way to tease Jungkook’s introduction, almost like Griffin is a piece of Jungkook’s life that’s already here, waiting to be discovered. And the fact that Nix (yes, we’re sticking with that nickname!) gets to meet Griffin first? It gives this lovely sense of calm before Jungkook’s stormy entrance. 🖤

I hope you guys end up loving Griffin as much as I do. He’s going to be a quiet, but important, presence in the story. (⌒‿⌒) I’d love to hear your thoughts as always. See you in the comments section. :) (ノ'ヮ')ノ*:・゚✧

 

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Chapter Text

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

You almost kill a cat.

Not exactly how you planned to start your Wednesday, but here you are, hovering over the couch, heart racing. The yawn you'd been holding dies in your throat as you stare down at the small, fuzzy creature you nearly flattened with your ass. A tiny orange tabby, eyes half-open and mildly affronted, peering up at you like you're the intruder here.

"Jesus Christ," you mutter, taking a step back, coffee sloshing dangerously close to the rim of your mug. You blink at the cat, and it blinks back, as if to say, Well? You done?

You take a breath, steadying yourself, trying to piece together why there's a cat in your apartment. A cat that wasn't here yesterday. Yoongi's door is open, his room empty—so he's not home to explain. And last you checked, there weren't any pets on the lease. Definitely no mention of a cat in the weirdly vague texts you got from the landlord about rules. No parties, no pets, pay on time. The holy trinity of renting.

So whose cat is this?

You set your coffee down on the table—carefully this time, so as not to spill any near the fluffy invader—and crouch down to get a better look at it. It's somewhat big, definitely not a kitten, with a tiny white patch on its chest and paws that look too small for the rest of its body. It just... sits there, staring back at you like this is perfectly normal, like it's been waiting for you to make yourself useful.

"Where did you even come from?" you ask, voice low, as if talking too loud might break some kind of spell. The cat blinks slowly, its gaze languid, then lets out a tiny yawn, exposing needle-thin teeth.

"Okay, then," you say, standing back up. You rub a hand over your face, trying to shake off the leftover grogginess. You check the time—almost eleven. Classes don't start until next week, and you'd given yourself permission to sleep in. Apparently, though, the universe has other plans.

You hear the faint hum of the fridge behind you, and the smell of coffee still lingers in the air. Yoongi must've brewed it before leaving—an unexpectedly considerate move, given his general vibe of not giving a shit about anything. You take another sip, savoring the bitterness, and glance around. The apartment is still. Quiet. Too quiet, for a place that's supposed to have three people living in it.

Your eyes drift back to the cat. It has now settled in, fully sprawled across the couch cushion, as if it owns the place. You can't help the small smile that tugs at your lips. You've always had a soft spot for cats—independent, aloof creatures that somehow still manage to be comforting. You reach out tentatively, giving it a gentle scratch behind the ear, and it purrs, the low rumble vibrating under your fingers.

"Yeah, okay. You're cute. I'll give you that," you murmur, watching as it nudges against your hand, eyes fluttering shut.

You feel the tiniest bit of warmth bloom in your chest, a sense of something softening there. It's silly, but the presence of this tiny creature somehow makes the apartment feel less strange, less empty.

But then again. The lease. The no-pets clause that had been one of the only real conditions, written in bold and everything if you recall correctly. As if to make a point. As if to say, "You better not bring any animals in my property, you filthy youngsters." Yeah, the landlord hadn't exactly screamed ball of sunshine.

The thought sobers you a bit. The thing is, you do love pets—heck, you still remember crying to your mom at the sweet age of five to get a fish (to no avail, shall you say). But going against the rules, possibly getting kicked out? After everything you went through to get out of the house and into the city?

Yeah, no.

You pull your hand away from the cat, sighing.

"So who the hell do you belong to, huh?" you ask, your voice tinged with resignation. The cat just looks up at you, eyes lazy, almost like it's mocking you for even bothering to ask. You shake your head, standing up, and look toward the door.

If it's not Yoongi's cat—and it doesn't seem like something he'd have, considering his minimalist approach to everything—then it has to belong to Jungkook. The mysterious third roommate. Maybe he dropped it off this morning, figuring it'd be fine to leave a cat in a place where he doesn't even live yet.

It's annoyance, what flickers through you now—because who just drops off a cat without warning? Doesn't make sense; but well, you don't know him. Maybe he's the kind of person who does things like that—someone who makes messes and leaves them for others to figure out.

You sigh again, running a hand through your hair. You suppose you could call Yoongi, ask if he knows anything about it. But would he even pick up? You can almost vividly picture him seeing your name on the screen and ignoring it. Honestly, that seems like a very Yoongi thing to do, considering what you know about him—which is close to nothing, but still.

You decide against it, grab your coffee again, taking a long sip, and head toward the kitchen.

The cat watches you go, eyes half-lidded, its body sinking into the couch like it's the most comfortable place in the world. You can't help the small smile that tugs at your lips again, despite the confusion still swirling in your head.

"Alright, little dude," you call over your shoulder, "guess we're roommates now."

The cat doesn't respond, of course, just closes its eyes completely, its purring filling the room. You can't deny it—it's kind of nice, having it here. A small, warm presence in this otherwise sterile apartment. Maybe things aren't so bad.

Maybe Jungkook's chaos isn't all terrible.

You're halfway through your coffee when you hear the door creak open. You glance up, only to find Yoongi, stepping inside with a small paper bag tucked under one arm. His eyes are lidded, tired, like he hasn't quite woken up fully despite being out and about. He toes off his shoes, glancing toward the couch, where the cat is still sprawled out, entirely unbothered.

"Well," Yoongi says, voice dry as always, "seems like you've met Griffin."

"Griffin?" you repeat, barely keeping your expression straight.

Your lips twitch, and a small huff of disbelief slips out before you can stop it. Who names their cat Griffin? You glance at the orange tabby—Griffin—sleeping soundly on the cushion. It somehow seems like an absurd name for such a chonky thing.

"Yeah." Yoongi shrugs, walking over to set the bag down on the kitchen counter. He looks over his shoulder at you, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips, like he knows exactly what you're thinking. "Jungkook's cat."

"Of course," you mutter, more to yourself than to Yoongi.

You take a step closer to the couch, eyeing the kitten. Jungkook's cat. So the mystery roommate had, in fact, just dropped his pet here and vanished. You shoot a glance toward Yoongi, trying to gauge his reaction, but he seems completely unfazed, rummaging through the bag for whatever he picked up from the pharmacy.

You tilt your head, confused. "So... Jungkook just left him here?"

"Mmhm," Yoongi hums, not bothering to look up. He pulls out a bottle of painkillers, pops it open, and downs two with a swig of water.

There's no sign of surprise, no irritation—nothing that indicates Yoongi finds this even remotely weird. You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to make sense of it. If you had to suddenly accommodate an unexpected cat, you'd at least be a little thrown off. But Yoongi? He just stands there, casual as ever, like cats showing up out of nowhere is completely normal.

"So he just, what, dropped Griffin off this morning?" you press, keeping your voice light, trying not to sound as thrown off as you feel.

Yoongi finally looks up, his gaze flicking to the cat and then back to you. He nods, taking another sip of water. "Yeah. Just until he gets his stuff sorted."

His answer is vague—intentionally so, you think—and there's something in his tone that tells you not to push it. Gets his stuff sorted. You don't know what that means, and do you really, when it comes to him? Clearly not.

You glance back at Griffin, who's now stretched out, paw dangling off the edge of the couch. The cat seems entirely at home, no sign of the upheaval you're picking up on beneath Yoongi's words. You wonder what sorting his stuff actually means for this other man—whether it's just moving logistics or something heavier, something that might explain why he's left his cat in an apartment he hasn't even officially moved into yet.

But you don't ask. Yoongi doesn't seem like the type to appreciate questions, especially about things that clearly aren't yours to pry into.

"Right," you say, leaning against the kitchen counter. "So this is just... a thing that's happening now? We have a cat?"

Yoongi smirks, leaning back against the counter, crossing his arms. "Guess so. Not a fan?"

"No, I mean—" You gesture vaguely at Griffin, who twitches an ear, utterly uninterested in the conversation. "He's cute. I just... wasn't expecting to almost sit on a cat this morning. And I thought the lease said no pets."

Yoongi gives another shrug, his expression unreadable. "Yeah, well. Lease says a lot of things." He pauses, eyes narrowing slightly in amusement. "You gonna snitch to the landlord?"

"Please, the more I can avoid conversations with him, the better." You roll your eyes, a half-smile tugging at your lips despite the situation. "Just... would've been nice to get a heads-up, is all."

Yoongi nods, as if considering that, but he doesn't say anything else. He seems comfortable letting the conversation hang in the air, the silence settling back in like it never left. You watch him for a moment longer, trying to read him, trying to understand how he can be so unbothered by all this. But Yoongi's like a closed book, his calm demeanor giving nothing away.

You take another sip of your coffee, glancing back at Griffin. "Well, I guess Griffin and I will become besties soon," you say, a mix of resignation and amusement in your voice.

Yoongi lets out a soft chuckle. "Yeah. Just wait till Jungkook moves in. He's got a lot more energy than that one." He nods toward Griffin, who, as if on cue, lets out a tiny sigh, settling deeper into the couch cushions.

"More energy?" You raise an eyebrow, a hint of curiosity you can't quite hide. "What do you mean?"

Yoongi just smiles, that lazy, almost knowing smile that makes it seem like he's got a hundred things he's not saying. "Depends. You like surprises?"

You give him a skeptical look, trying to gauge if he's messing with you. But as usual, Yoongi's got a poker face, all mild amusement and no real answers. You get the sense that there's a lot more going on beneath the surface, more than he's letting on about Jungkook, about everything. But whatever it is, Yoongi's not about to share it with you, not yet.

"Well," you mutter, setting your coffee mug down with a soft clink. "As long as he doesn't make his problems mine."

Yoongi snorts, pushing away from the counter and heading toward his room. "Relax. Griffin's a good cat. And Jungkook's... alright."

There it is again, that vague, noncommittal alright. You watch Yoongi disappear into his room, the door clicking softly shut behind him. You look back at Griffin, who's now blinking up at you, almost expectantly.

"Well, Griffin," you sigh, crossing the room to flop down on the opposite end of the couch, careful not to disturb him. "Looks like we're both stuck here, huh?"

The cat lets out a tiny, contented purr, his eyes drifting shut again, as if to say, Could be worse. And honestly, looking at the soft rise and fall of his tiny body, the warmth of him filling up the empty space beside you, you start to think maybe he's right. Maybe it's not so bad.

Even if nothing here quite makes sense yet.

✿ ⋆ ˚。

You’re at the grocery store, squinting against the glare of the stupid lights, pushing your cart down the aisle with a sigh.

You'd put it off as long as possible, subsisting on takeout and whatever snacks Yoongi had lying around. But surviving on convenience store ramen and stale chips hadn’t exactly sounded appealing. Plus, you figured if you were going to be an actual adult in New York City, you should probably learn how to stock a fridge with something other than beer and expired milk.

The cart's already half-full of essentials—bread, eggs, some sad-looking vegetables that you're determined to actually eat this time. You pause in front of the pasta section, debating between spaghetti and penne, when a familiar scent catches your attention.

Vanilla.

Your head snaps up, eyes searching for the source. There, at the end of the aisle: candles. A whole display of them, colorful jars promising various scents and moods. Before you know it, you're standing in front of them, fingertips tracing over smooth glass surfaces.

You've always had a thing for candles. Back home, your room was filled with them—little flames flickering in the dark, chasing away the silence with their warm glow. You'd light them when you studied, when you wrote, when you just needed a moment of peace. Here, in this new place that still doesn't quite feel like yours, the idea of having that small comfort is... tempting.

You pick up a jar, unscrewing the lid to inhale deeply. Vanilla and something else—maybe sandalwood? It's rich, comforting. You close your eyes for a moment, letting the scent wash over you. When you open them again, you're already reaching for a second jar.

Fuck it, you think. If you're going to pretend to be an adult, might as well splurge a little.

Twenty minutes and far too much money later, you're lugging your groceries and a small bag of candles up the stairs to your apartment. The plastic handles dig into your palms, and you silently curse yourself for buying so much at once. But the thought of your new candles, waiting to be lit, keeps you going.

You fumble with your keys, finally managing to unlock the door and stumble inside. The apartment is quiet, save for the soft purring coming from the couch. Griffin lifts his head as you enter, giving you a lazy blink before settling back down.

"Hey, buddy," you murmur, dropping the bags on the kitchen counter with a relieved sigh. You stretch, feeling your shoulders pop, and take a moment to breathe.

The apartment still smells faintly of must and old paint, that lingering scent of a place that's been lived in for too long by too many people. You wrinkle your nose, eyeing the bag of candles. Time to change that.

You put away the groceries first, because you're trying to be responsible or whatever. Fruits and veggies in the crisper (where they'll probably rot, let's be real), milk and eggs on the top shelf, bread tucked away in the cabinet. It's a small thing, but seeing the fridge actually full makes you feel... accomplished. Like maybe you're not completely failing at this whole adult thing.

Finally, you turn to the candles. You pull them out one by one, arranging them on the coffee table. The vanilla one you'd first picked up, a citrusy one that promises to "energize your space," and a woodsy scent that reminds you of fall back home.

You grab the vanilla one first, unscrewing the lid and inhaling deeply. Yeah, this was definitely worth the splurge. You set it on top of the TV stand, right in the center where its warm glow will fill the room. Now for the tricky part: finding something to light it with.

You rummage through drawers, searching for matches or a lighter. Nothing. Of course not. Why would two guys who probably don't even cook keep matches around? You're about to give up when you spot a small box tucked away in the back of a kitchen drawer.

"Aha!" you exclaim, pulling out the matches triumphantly. You head back to the candle, place it on the TV furniture and strike a match against the box. The flame flickers to life, and you can't help the small smile that tugs at your lips. It's silly, maybe, but this tiny fire feels like the first step in making this place feel like home.

You lean in, ready to light the wick, when suddenly—

The front door slams open.

The noise startles you, and your hand jerks. The match slips from your fingers, falling onto the TV stand. For a split second, everything freezes. Then, with a soft whoosh, the small flame catches on a bit of fabric hanging off the edge of the stand.

"Shit!" you screech, stumbling back. The fire's small, barely more than a flicker, but it's growing fast. Panic rises in your throat as you watch it spread, eating away at the fabric.

Footsteps thunder toward you, and suddenly there's a blur of movement. A figure rushes past, grabbing a throw pillow from the couch. With quick, efficient movements, they smother the flames, pressing down hard until the last ember dies out.

Your heart is pounding in your ears as you stare at the charred remnants of what was probably a nice decorative runner. The smell of smoke hangs heavy in the air, mixing with the scent of vanilla from the still-unlit candle.

Slowly, you lift your gaze to the person who just saved you from burning down the entire building. He's tall, broad-shouldered, with dark hair that falls into his eyes. Eyes that are currently fixed on you, a mix of irritation and disbelief swirling in their depths.

And then it hits you.

You know those eyes.

Recognition slams into you like a freight train, your breath catching in your throat. It's him. The guy from that night. The one who—

No. No fucking way.

"What the fuck," he says, his voice low and rough, "were you thinking?"

But you barely hear him. Because this isn't just some random guy. This is the man who gave you the most mind-blowing sex of your life. The one who fucked you so thoroughly you couldn't walk straight for days. The one whose name you never bothered to ask.

And now he's standing in your living room, having just saved you from burning the place down.

You blink, your brain still trying to catch up. "I—I was just trying to light a candle," you stammer, gesturing weakly at the jar still sitting innocently on the stand.

He looks at the candle, then back at you, his expression morphing into something you can’t quite read. And then, you see it. The moment he realizes who you are.

You.

His eyes widen slightly, a flicker of... something passing over his face before it settles back into a mask of annoyance. He grunts. Runs a hand through his hair. Then speaks.

"A candle," he repeats, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "You almost burned down our apartment for a fucking candle?"

There's an edge to his voice that grates on your nerves, a hint of condescension that makes you want to bristle. But you're too caught up in the surreality of the situation to form a proper retort.

"Jungkook," you breathe, the name feeling foreign on your tongue. So that’s his name.

"Yeah, me," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. "And you are?"

You narrow your eyes, clearly displeased with the lack of warmth in his words; but nevertheless, you tell him your name. Because if you're going to cohabit with this dude, that’s something he should at least know. If he’s even bothered to check the lease.

"Right," he says finally, his tone clipped. "Roomie with a death wish, love that for me."

You feel a flicker of annoyance at that, your embarrassment quickly giving way to defensiveness. "It was an accident," you snap. "I didn’t mean to—"

"To what?" Jungkook cuts you off, gesturing at the charred fabric. "Set the place on fire?"

Before you can retort, however, his eyes land on something behind you. His expression shifts, softening just a fraction.

"Griffin," he says, and you turn to see the cat perched on the arm of the couch, watching the scene with mild interest.

Jungkook moves past you, reaching out to scratch behind Griffin's ears. The cat leans into his touch, purring loudly, and you can’t help but notice the way Jungkook's shoulders relax slightly.

"So," you say, clearing your throat. "You’re Griffin’s owner."

Jungkook glances back at you, his hand still absently petting the cat. "Yeah," he replies, his tone neutral. "That a problem?"

You shake your head, mildly annoyed now. "No, no problem. At least he is cute."

Jungkook snorts, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. "Cute, huh? That why you decided to try and roast him alive?"

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. "I told you, it was an accident. And I wouldn’t have dropped the match if you hadn’t burst in here like—"

"Like what?" Jungkook interrupts, turning to face you fully. "Like I live here? Because I do, in case you forgot."

"Okay?" You frown. "I live here too, doesn’t mean I get to just bust the door open out of nowhere."

"Have you even tried to open the damn door? The lock is like a hundred years old," he replies.

"There’s a trick to it, you know? I thought Yoongi would’ve told you that much."

"You clearly don’t know Yoongi."

"Still, who just fucking tries to force themselves inside—"

"I was trying to open the goddamn door, alright—"

"—are you a fucking gorilla?"

"—but it wouldn’t twist properly."

You take a deep breath, trying to calm the irritation bubbling in your chest. "Look," you say, "I’m sorry about the... fire thing. It won’t happen again."

Jungkook regards you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, to your surprise, he lets out what you think is a disbelieving laugh. "Yeah, it better not. I’m not always gonna be around to save your ass, Phoenix."

You blink, thrown off by the sudden shift in his tone. "Phoenix?"

He shrugs, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "Seems fitting, don’t you think? Girl who likes to play with fire?"

"Don’t call me that."

"Too late."

There’s something in the way he says it—a hint of teasing, maybe even flirtation?—that makes your cheeks warm. You open your mouth to retort, but he quickly straightens up, heading toward what you assume is his room.

"Word of advice, Phoenix," he calls over his shoulder, "next time you want to light up the place? Try using a lighter. Less chance of burning us all to a crisp."

With that, he disappears toward the entrance—where his room is—leaving you standing there, speechless. You hear a door click shut, and then silence falls over the apartment once again.

You look down at Griffin, who's still perched on the couch, watching you with those lazy eyes.

"You should’ve told me," you mutter, sinking down onto the cushion next to him. "That your owner is a fucking jerk."

Griffin lets out a soft meow, as if saying, Your words, not mine. You reach out to pet him, your fingers sinking into his soft fur.

You glance at the candle, still unlit on the TV stand. Vanilla and sandalwood. The scent lingers faintly, mixing with the acrid smell of smoke.

Phoenix, he'd called you. Mockingly. Condescendingly. As if you're some reckless idiot who can't handle a simple task without fucking it up.

Anger flares in your chest, hot and sharp. Who the hell does he think he is? Barging in here like he owns the place, acting like you’re the one inconveniencing him.

Never mind that he’s the one who startled you. Never mind that you wouldn’t have dropped the match if he hadn’t slammed the door open like a fucking lunatic.

No, of course it’s your fault. You’re the one who almost burned the place down. You’re the one who needs to be more careful, more responsible.

Because apparently, Jungkook is the epitome of responsibility. Mister Perfect Roommate who can do no wrong.

Bullshit.

You clench your jaw, glaring at the closed door of his room. Part of you wants to march over there, pound on the door, and give him a piece of your mind. Tell him exactly where he can shove his condescending attitude and his stupid nickname.

But you don’t. Because as much as he irritates you, as much as you want to wipe that smug look off his face, you know it won’t do any good. It’ll just make things worse, make living here even more unbearable than it already is.

So instead, you take a deep breath. Unclench your fists. Try to let the anger drain out of you, even as it simmers just beneath the surface.

You’ll play nice. For now. But you’ll be damned if you let Jungkook think he can walk all over you.

This is your home too, and you’re not going to let some arrogant prick with a savior complex make you feel like you don’t belong here.

Even if that arrogant prick is the same guy who gave you the best sex of your life. Even if the memory of that night still makes your skin flush and your pulse race.

That was then. This is now. And right now, all you want is to light your fucking candle in peace.

You grab the lighter from the kitchen drawer, flicking it open with a satisfying snick. The flame dances, small but steady, and you hold it to the wick until it catches.

The candle flares to life, the warm glow filling the room. Vanilla and sandalwood, rich and soothing. You breathe it in, letting it calm your frayed nerves.

Fuck Jungkook. Fuck his attitude and his assumptions and his stupid, perfect face.

You’re not going to let him get to you. You’re not going to let him ruin this for you.

This is your fresh start, your chance to build a life in the city you’ve always dreamed of. And you’ll be damned if you let anyone, least of all him, take that away from you.

So you sit there, watching the candle flicker, the scent wrapping around you like a comforting embrace. And you make a silent promise to yourself.

You’re going to make this work. No matter what it takes. No matter who tries to stand in your way.

Even if that someone is Jeon Jungkook.

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

Chapter 3: Bad mornings and new beginnings

Notes:

>

[𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞:

Hello, everyone! I'm so glad to share chapter 3 with you. There's something about the dialogue here that feels like it finally clicked—Jungkook and Y/N's dynamic is sharper, a little messier, and I think this chapter really captures that enemies-with-chemistry vibe I've been aiming for. It's more natural, more biting, and definitely more... them. They're always circling each other, and it's like you can almost hear the crackle of tension between every line they throw at one another.

And oh, Yeji, my beloved girl. <3 I've really put my heart into her character—she's been living rent-free in my head, and I can't wait to reveal more about her. I just love how unapologetically herself she is, and her energy brings something soft but bold into Y/N's life. I've always felt that meaningful female friendships are so crucial to these stories; they're the quiet backbone when everything else feels unstable. Yeji's going to be that for Y/N, slowly but surely.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, and as always, thank you for taking the time to read and let these characters come alive for you. It means more than you know. Please let me know your thoughts if you'd like to—I’d love to hear them. ♡

Until next time.

Kiki ✿

Chapter Text

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

You knew it was going to be a shitty day the moment you saw Jungkook's face.

He's sitting at the kitchen table, shirtless, shoulders slack as he leans back, a bowl of cereal in front of him. The guy's got bedhead, dark hair sticking up in random tufts, and he's staring at his phone like it holds the meaning of life. The soft sounds of crunching echo through the small kitchen, and the sight of him there—so casual, so completely at ease—makes something itch beneath your skin.

"Morning, Phoenix," he drawls, not bothering to glance up from his phone. You hate the way the nickname rolls off his tongue. You hate it because he's using it to get a rise out of you, and you hate it more because it works.

"Don't call me that," you mutter, heading for the fridge.

"Alright, Nix," he replies quickly—far too quickly. Like he's been thinking about the million ways he can circumvent around the nickname to still call you that.

You yank the door open, peering inside at the groceries you picked up yesterday. Bread, eggs, milk—actual food that didn’t involve a takeaway box. You grab a bottle of water and an apple, shutting the door with more force than necessary, the dull thud echoing through the kitchen. You hear a soft snort behind you, and you grit your teeth, refusing to look at Jungkook.

"Bad morning?" he asks, voice dripping with amusement. He knows exactly how to needle you, like poking at a bruise just because it makes you wince.

"Literally leave me alone," you say, twisting the cap off your water.

"Cute." His voice is lazy, the kind of unaffected tone that somehow makes it worse.

It's like he doesn’t even have to try to be a pain in your ass. You hate how easy it comes to him. How he seems to be in control when all you want is to make that stupid smirk slip off his face.

You turn to face him, leaning against the counter, crossing your arms over your chest. "Is this your thing? Waking up and deciding to be an asshole first thing in the morning?"

He finally looks up, eyes meeting yours. There's a glint of something there, something sharp. It makes you want to stick your tongue out at him.

"Maybe," he says, shrugging, like it's the most natural thing in the world. "You make it easy, Phoenix."

You scowl. "Fucking unbelievable."

"Yeah?" He leans forward, elbows resting on the table, giving you that infuriating smile. "What's unbelievable is that you're still upset about that candle. You know, you're the one who almost burned down the apartment, not me."

You feel your face heat, memories of that stupid scene flashing in your mind. The match, the flames, Jungkook's stupid face bursting through the door just in time to make you look like an idiot.

"I was trying to make this place smell less like a college frat house," you snap. "But you just had to barge in like some unhinged maniac."

He raises an eyebrow, amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You know, you're welcome for saving your ass, by the way. But sure, let's keep focusing on how I 'barged in'."

"Yeah, you did it so heroically. If only I could repay you," you say, your voice dripping with sarcasm. You can't stand how he's looking at you, like this whole thing is just some game he's winning.

He laughs, a low, mocking sound that makes your skin prickle. "Keep your gratitude, Nix. I think we're even."

Even. You hate that word. Because nothing about this feels even. He's been in your head since that night, that one stupid night that was supposed to be just a distraction. A fling. But now he's here, living in your space, knowing exactly which buttons to push to make you react.

If you could just put a fist through that irritating, self-assured smile of his, maybe you'd finally feel some peace.

Jungkook leans back, his eyes still on you, and you wish you could just walk away. You're not interested in this stupid back and forth, this daily reminder of why you dislike him so much. The worst part is, he seems to be enjoying every second of it. It's not complicated to him—he's just here to annoy the fuck out of you, and he's doing a goddamn good job.

“Got class today?” he asks, finally breaking the silence. His voice is casual, like he didn’t just spend the last five minutes getting under your skin.

You roll your eyes, pushing off the counter. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah. I do.”

“NYU, right?” He tilts his head, watching you with those dark eyes, like he’s trying to figure you out.

“Yeah, NYU. You want to quiz me on my major next?” you snap, hoping the bite in your voice will make him back off.

“Nah, I don’t really care.” He shrugs, looking back down at his phone. “Just trying to make conversation, Phoenix.”

“Don’t do me any favors,” you mutter, turning away from him. You hear him chuckle behind you, and it makes your teeth grind together, like you need to get out of this room, out of this apartment before you lose it completely.

“Hey,” he calls after you, just as you’re about to leave. You pause, glancing back at him, your hand on the doorframe. He’s still leaning back in his chair, his eyes fixed on you. “Nickname piss you off that much?”

You stare at him, caught off guard by the question. For a moment, you’re not sure what to say. It’s not just the nickname—it’s the way he uses it, the way it feels like he’s seeing right through you. The way it reminds you of how you’ve been crashing and burning since you moved into this place, since you started sharing space with him.

But you’re not about to tell him any of that. So instead, you give him a tight smile, shaking your head. “Nah. You’re just slightly less insufferable when you shut the fuck up.”

His eyebrows lift slightly, a flicker of something in his eyes—surprise, maybe, or the tiniest bit of irritation. You know he’s about to retort with his usual snark, when suddenly Yoongi makes his appearance.

He’s stumbling out of his room, looking like he’s been dragged through hell and back. His hair is a mess, sticking up in every direction, and his eyes are barely open. But what catches your attention is the orange ball of fur tucked under his arm.

“Can somebody,” Yoongi grumbles, his voice thick with sleep, “tell me why this sack of fat was in my bed?”

You blink, momentarily forgetting your irritation with Jungkook. Griffin dangles from Yoongi’s grip, looking utterly unbothered by the whole situation. The cat’s eyes are half-closed, tail swishing lazily, as if being carried around like a football is a perfectly normal way to start the day.

Jungkook glances up, almost disbelieving, setting down his phone. “So that’s where he went last night? Griff, you traitor.”

“At least the cat has decent taste, escaping you,” you mutter under your breath, unable to resist.

“I guess so, seeing he didn’t sleep on your bed either.”

Yoongi sighs, giving Jungkook a flat look, like he’s far too used to these antics. “Jungkook. Why is your cat in my room?”

Jungkook leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Uh, because he lives here now? Thought that was obvious.”

“In the apartment, sure. But in my bed?” Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “What, did you tell him my room has the best feng shui for naps or something?”

You snort softly at that, earning another glare from Jungkook.

“Look, he probably just got confused, alright?” Jungkook says, his tone slightly defensive. “New place and all. He’ll figure out where he’s supposed to sleep.”

“He better,” Yoongi grumbles, gently depositing the cat on the floor. Griffin lands gracefully, shooting Yoongi what you swear is an affronted look before sauntering over to wind around Jungkook’s legs.

“See? He knows where he belongs,” Jungkook says smugly, reaching down to scratch behind the cat’s ears.

You roll your eyes, switching weight on your other foot. “Yeah, with the other pain in the ass. You two deserve each other,” you mumble.

Jungkook’s head snaps up, his eyes narrowing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing,” you reply airily, moving to grab your bag from the couch. “Just that you both have a talent for making yourself at home where you’re not wanted.”

Jungkook scoffs, the sound harsh in the small kitchen. “Excuse me for existing in my own damn apartment.”

“Will you both shut the fuck up,” Yoongi mutters, rubbing his eyes.

“Tell that to Mr. Asshole here,” you say, gesturing vaguely at Jungkook.

Jungkook shoots you a glare, but there’s no real heat behind it. Instead, he turns to Yoongi, his expression suddenly petulant.

“Speaking of assholes,” he says, “why didn’t you tell me you were getting a new roommate? I thought we were supposed to make these decisions together.”

Yoongi blinks slowly, looking at Jungkook with the most insufferable expression he can muster at this hour.

“What the fuck are you on about?” he asks, his voice still rough with sleep. “You didn’t even check the contract when you signed. You were all ‘whatever, whatever’ about it.”

“That’s not the point,” Jungkook argues, the jerk. “You should’ve asked me first.”

“Wooow, okay,” you scoff, unable to keep quiet. “I didn’t realize I needed your royal approval to live here.”

Jungkook’s head snaps toward you, eyes narrowing. “Nobody asked you, Phoenix.”

“Well,” you say with your own brand of sarcasm, “if it’s such a big deal, Jungkook, why don’t you just die and save us all the trouble?”

Yoongi snorts at that, clearly amused by your suggestion. Jungkook’s grimace is a sight to behold, irritation sharpening his features.

“Very funny,” he mutters, raising an eyebrow. “You got jokes for days.”

“Call me comedic genius.”

Yoongi watches the exchange with mild interest, like he’s stumbled into an unexpected episode of reality TV.

“Okay, what the hell is going on with you two?” he asks finally, glancing between you and Jungkook. “You’ve known each other for what, a day? And you’re already at each other’s throats?”

You and Jungkook exchange a quick glance, a silent agreement passing between you. There’s no way in hell you’re telling Yoongi about your... previous encounter.

“Just a clash of personalities,” you mutter, looking away.

“Yeah,” Jungkook adds, his voice tight. “Nothing to worry about.”

Yoongi doesn’t look convinced, but he’s also too tired to push it. He shuffles over to the kitchen, grabbing a mug and filling it with coffee.

“Well, figure it out,” he says, taking a long sip. “I’m not dealing with this shit every morning.”

You snort, grabbing your bag from the counter. “Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair soon enough. Got class to get to.”

As you head for the door, Jungkook calls out, “Try not to set anything on fire on your way out, Phoenix.”

You clench your jaw, fighting the urge to turn around and tell him exactly where he can shove his snarky comments. Instead, you take a deep breath, forcing yourself to stay calm.

“Fuck off, Jungkook,” you say, your voice deceptively sweet. And with that, you’re out the door, slamming it behind you with perhaps a bit more force than necessary.

It’s going to be a long day, you think, as you make your way down the stairs. But at least you’re not stuck in that apartment with Jungkook.

And for now, that’s enough of a win.

✿ ⋆ ˚。

The campus is bigger than you expected. Way bigger.

You’ve been walking for what feels like ages, clutching your schedule in one hand and trying not to look like a complete lost cause. But let’s be real—you probably do. The map on your phone isn’t doing anything except reminding you how bad you are at directions. You’re pretty sure you’ve passed the same group of freshmen three times already, which either means you’re stuck in some kind of campus purgatory or you’re just plain directionally challenged.

Either way, this is not how you imagined your first day at NYU.

You stop for a second, glancing around at the sea of students bustling past you. Some are chatting with friends, looking like they’ve been here for years. Others—like you—are clearly just trying to figure out where the hell they’re supposed to be. The buildings all look the same, and you’re half-convinced this is some cruel labyrinth designed to break first-years before they even get to class.

You’re just about to give up and find a corner to sit in and sulk when you hear a voice behind you.

“Let me guess. Lost as hell?”

You turn around, and—wow.

Standing there is a girl dressed in black from head to toe: combat boots, leather jacket, the whole look. Her black hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail, and she’s giving you a kind of look—half amused, half pity—that somehow doesn’t make you want to crawl into a hole. It’s like she’s seen this before.

“Uh, yeah,” you admit, holding up your schedule like it’s evidence. “I think I’ve circled this building twice.”

Her lips curve into a smirk. “Yeah, this place is a joke. They send us this shitty map, and then expect us to magically know where everything is.” She rolls her eyes, glancing at your schedule. “Let me see that.”

You hand it to her, watching as she scans it, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Oh, you’re in the same class as me. History of Modern Art, right?”

You blink, a little surprised. “Yeah, how’d you—?”

She waves the schedule in front of you. “Same time, same room number. Trust me, I’ve been trying to find this place for the last ten minutes. We’re basically in the same sinking ship.”

You can’t help but laugh at that. “Great. So, we’re both doomed.”

“Pretty much.” She hands your schedule back and jerks her chin toward a building across the quad. “I think it’s that one. Wanna risk it?”

You shrug. “Got nothing to lose.”

She falls into step beside you, and even though you’re both clearly lost, she walks like she knows exactly where she’s going. It’s comforting, in a way. You, on the other hand, feel like you’re on the edge of panic—like you’ve been dropped in the middle of a maze with zero clues.

“First day and I’m already done,” she mutters, more to herself than to you. “These professors better not expect me to care about anything before noon.”

You try to suppress a grin. “Not a morning person?”

She gives you a look. “Is anyone actually a morning person? If they are, they’re probably psychopaths. Like, sorry, I don’t trust you if you’re happy at 8 a.m.”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “Fair point.”

She pauses, then glances at you again, like she’s sizing you up. “I’m Yeji, by the way.”

“Y/N.”

“Cool.” She shoves her hands into the pockets of her jacket, looking back at the building in front of you. “So let’s make a deal. If this class sucks—” she glances at you, a mischievous glint in her eyes, “—we bail and go find somewhere to get coffee. Sound good?”

You blink at her. “But it’s the first day.”

She raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “And? You really think they’re gonna teach us anything important today? It’s all syllabus crap. Trust me, you’ll be asleep within ten minutes.”

You hesitate for a second, but then you realize—you kind of love her energy. She’s blunt, no-nonsense, and completely over it. And honestly? Maybe that’s exactly what you need right now.

“Alright, fine. Deal.”

Yeji grins, and for the first time, you feel a little less like you’re drowning in this new place. At least you’ve found someone who gets it—who gets that this whole university thing is overwhelming and messy and, frankly, kind of bullshit. And somehow, that makes it all feel a little more manageable.

“By the way, if we do end up bailing, I know a place that makes killer iced coffee. Trust me, you’ll need it to survive this place.”

You laugh, feeling some of the tension ease from your shoulders. “I’ll hold you to that.”

She smirks, pushing open the door. “You better.”

You both make your way to the entrance of the building, which, thankfully, looks like the right one this time. Yeji walks ahead, pushing open the door, and you both step inside. The hallway is packed with students, everyone trying to figure out which classroom is theirs. You weave your way through the crowd, trying not to bump into anyone, and eventually, you spot the right room number.

“There,” Yeji says, nodding toward a door. You slip inside after her, the two of you grabbing seats near the back.

The classroom is chaotic. People are either on their phones or pretending to care about their notebooks, and the professor hasn’t even shown up yet. You take a deep breath, finally sitting down, and pull your own notebook out, though you already know you probably won’t need it today. Yeji, meanwhile, just slouches back in her seat, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

She turns her head slightly toward you. “If they make us do one of those stupid ‘introduce yourself’ activities, I’m out. Just saying.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What, you don’t wanna share three fun facts about yourself with strangers?”

“Not unless ‘I’m dead inside’ counts as a fun fact,” she says, smirking. You stifle a laugh, and she catches your expression, giving you a knowing look.

The door opens, and the professor—a middle-aged woman who looks like she’s already tired—walks in, dragging a large stack of papers. She starts fiddling with the projector, clearly struggling, and you hear Yeji sigh dramatically next to you.

You glance at her, and she meets your eyes, her expression deadpan. “Five bucks says she doesn’t get that thing working.”

You grin. “I don’t have five bucks to lose.”

“Smart,” she says, leaning back further in her chair, her boots crossing at the ankles. “You’re gonna need it for coffee later.”

You don’t know when you stopped caring about the awkwardness of being the new kid today, but somewhere between getting hopelessly lost and meeting Yeji, it’s faded a little. You’re still not entirely comfortable—this whole college thing is still a bit terrifying—but at least you’re not alone in it. You’ve got Yeji, who is weirdly reassuring despite her total disdain for, well, everything. And that’s something.

The professor finally gets the projector to work, and there’s a collective sigh of relief from the room. She starts in on the syllabus, her voice droning, and you zone out almost immediately. You sneak a glance at Yeji, who’s already looking at you, one eyebrow raised.

“Two minutes,” she mouths.

You shake your head but smile. “No way.”

She rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of a grin there, too. You both settle in, pretending to pay attention for a little longer, but you know you’re not gonna make it through this entire class. Not today.

Yeji leans over after a while, her voice barely a whisper. “You ready to get out of here yet?”

You hesitate, glancing at the clock on the wall. It’s only been twenty minutes, and you know you probably should stay. It’s the responsible thing to do. But then Yeji nudges you, her grin widening, and you know you’re not staying. Not with her making this so damn tempting.

“Alright,” you whisper back. “Let’s go.”

She doesn’t waste a second. She grabs her bag, moves with this easy confidence that makes you wonder if she’s done this a thousand times before. You follow her out of the row, careful not to draw too much attention, and then you’re out in the hallway again, the door clicking shut behind you.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, and Yeji glances at you, looking far too pleased with herself. “Told you.”

“You’re trouble,” you huff, but you can’t stop smiling.

She just shrugs, a hint of something softer behind her smirk. “Life’s too short to sit through bad lectures.”

The two of you make your way out of the building, the buzz of campus life hitting you as soon as you step outside. Yeji leads the way across the quad, her pace relaxed, like you’ve got all the time in the world.

“So, where’s this magical coffee place?” you ask.

“It’s not magical. It’s just got caffeine, which is all we need,” Yeji says, turning her head slightly to look at you. “Plus, it’s not too crowded, and the guy who works there gives me an employee discount sometimes because I helped him set up his amp once.”

You blink. “Set up his amp?”

She nods, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Yeah, he’s in a band. Needed help, and I figured, why not?”

You can’t help but smile. “So you’re, what, a campus hero?”

“Hardly,” she says, shaking her head, though there’s a glint of amusement in her eyes. “But it helps to know people. Especially people with coffee.”

You walk alongside her, the conversation easy, and the campus that felt so overwhelming a while ago doesn’t seem quite so bad now. It still feels huge, and maybe a little intimidating, but with Yeji beside you, it also feels like a place you could get used to. Like a place where, maybe, you belong.

And honestly? That’s more than you were hoping for today.

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

Chapter 4: Espresso and new connections

Notes:

>

[𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞:

 

Hi, lovely readers ♡

I'm so, so happy to finally share this chapter with you. Introducing Jin here has been such a joy—he's always been such a fascinating character to me, and I wanted to give him more of a presence. I feel like he's often sidecasted in fanfics, which makes me a little sad because he's so wonderfully dynamic. I hope you enjoy seeing him take up space in this world alongside Yeji and Y/N.

Yeji's brother will be showing up soon ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) and I'm so excited for you to meet him! Also, Irya! She's such a gentle and sweet energy—I've loved weaving in her relationship with Yeji, and I can't wait to show more of their dynamic and how they connect with Y/N as well.

And Jimin. Oh, my heart. I really wanted to introduce someone who embodies quiet warmth, and he fit that role so beautifully. I'm so eager for you to see how his presence unfolds.

This chapter is just the beginning of the little threads I'm weaving together, and I hope you enjoy following them as they connect. Thank you for reading and for allowing these characters to bloom in your imaginations. It truly means the world to me.

Gentle wishes,
Kiki
(∩ˊᵕˋ∩)♡

Chapter Text

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

"Get out of here, Yeji."

You've barely made it inside the cute but painfully mainstream coffee shop behind her when the comment hits the air. It's loud enough to cut through the cheery hum of soft pop music and the low chatter of patrons.

Your eyes instinctively flick toward the counter, and sure enough, a guy—broad-shouldered, tall, and exuding an aura of long-suffering patience—stands there. His apron says Barista, but the name tag pinned over it reads Jin.

"Glad to see you too, Jinjin," Yeji retorts with a smirk.

She struts in with a kind of skippy, deliberate confidence that only she can pull off. Her combat boots clunk against the tiled floor like a rebellious drumbeat. She throws a glance over her shoulder at you, her sharp green eyes giving you a playful 'you coming?' look before jerking her head toward the counter.

You follow, albeit hesitantly. Yeji, meanwhile, is already heading straight for the counter, completely unbothered by the pointed glare being thrown her way.

"You skipping class again?" Jin drawls, his tone so flat it’s almost an art form.

He hasn’t stopped cleaning the same mug since you walked in, but his narrowed eyes are locked on Yeji like she’s some kind of regular pest.

"Define skipping," she replies, leaning casually against the counter as if they’re old friends—or old enemies who can’t help but tolerate each other.

"Not going to it."

"Then yes," she says breezily, brushing a strand of black hair away from her face. "But don’t act like you’re so shocked. You knew I wasn’t making it through that lecture."

Jin sighs, long and exaggerated, finally setting down the mug. "It’s literally the first week. Can’t you at least pretend you’re trying?"

"Why should I?" Yeji counters, cocking her head. "It’s not like the first week actually matters. It’s all intro slides and professors making bad jokes about their course load."

"You say that like you’ve ever stayed long enough to find out."

Yeji gasps, mock-offended. "I’m hurt, Jinjin. Deeply hurt."

"Good," he deadpans. "Maybe that’ll motivate you to leave and stop scaring off my customers."

She rolls her eyes, glancing at the minimal crowd around the shop. A couple of students hunched over laptops. Someone reading a book in the corner. Hardly bustling.

"Yeah, because this place is thriving without me," she quips, turning to look at you. "This guy has the bedside manner of a brick, by the way."

"Not true," Jin cuts in. "Bricks are useful."

You can’t help the small laugh that escapes you, and Jin’s gaze flicks to you for the first time. His expression softens, if only slightly, as if he’s re-evaluating why you’re even here.

"You brought backup?" Jin asks Yeji, raising an eyebrow.

"She’s not backup," Yeji says, sliding onto one of the stools. "She’s my… what’s the word… sidekick?"

"I’m not your sidekick," you protest instinctively, but your voice gets drowned out by Jin’s dry response:

"Condolences," he mutters, grabbing a clean mug from the rack.

Yeji grins, unbothered. "Anyway, we’re here for coffee. Two iced lattes, Jinjin. And none of that watered-down crap you made me last time."

"First of all," Jin says, pointing a finger at her, "if you ever call me Jinjin again, you’ll be banned for life. Second of all, I didn’t water it down; you just don’t know what real coffee tastes like."

"And third?" Yeji prompts, resting her chin in her palm.

"Third," Jin continues with an exasperated sigh, "you can pay, or you can leave."

Yeji leans back dramatically. "Wow. Capitalism has truly ruined you."

"And you’re about to ruin my afternoon," Jin shoots back, moving toward the espresso machine.

You glance between the two of them, mildly entertained but still unsure how this turned into a sparring match. Before you can decide whether to intervene or just let them go at it, Jin slides a look in your direction, his voice a fraction less hostile.

"You want anything other than the headache she just ordered?"

You open your mouth to answer, but Yeji interrupts. "She’s fine. Trust me, we’re both having lattes. Make them good."

Jin glares at her one more time but reluctantly gets to work, muttering something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like Why do I put up with her?

You’re not sure if you should be amused or concerned by their dynamic, but Yeji catches your expression and grins. "See? Told you I know people."

"Do all the people you know hate you this much?" you ask, earning another smirk.

"Only the fun ones."

And for some reason, you don’t doubt that for a second.

The coffee machine whirs to life as Jin pulls a shot of espresso with practiced ease, his sharp gaze cutting toward Yeji. His expression is pure skepticism, the kind that suggests he’s already predicting her next ten excuses.

"This time," he says, dragging the words out as he places a cup under the milk frother, "you’re actually going to pay me. Right?"

Yeji tilts her head, a picture of faux innocence. "Nope. But next time for sure."

Jin freezes, slowly turning to face her, steam hissing from the machine like it’s mirroring his frustration. "That’s what you said last time."

"Yeah, but last time didn’t count," Yeji replies smoothly, propping her chin in her hand. "We were still in the setup phase of our friendship. You can’t start charging me during the beta test."

"I’ve known you since you were in braces. We’re well past beta testing."

"And yet, you still let me in here," she retorts, her smirk as unshakable as ever. "Almost like you like having me around, Jinjin."

The exaggerated groan Jin lets out is practically a language of its own. "You’re lucky your brother’s my best friend," he mutters, pouring milk into a shiny silver pitcher. "Otherwise, I’d be asking myself why I haven’t changed the locks yet."

Yeji leans back, completely unfazed, and crosses her arms. "Keep that employee discount running, Jin. I didn’t set up your amp for free, remember?"

The words are casual, but something in them pulls at your attention. "Wait," you interrupt, glancing between them. "He’s the one with the employee discount you were just telling me about?"

Both Jin and Yeji look at you. One confused, the other vaguely amused. Jin, for his part, doesn’t miss a beat, turning back to the frothing milk with a scoff.

"That’s how you introduce me? Not, 'This is my super talented friend Jin who has the patience of a saint,' but, 'Oh yeah, he’s the discount guy?' Wow."

"You really are talented," Yeji says, grinning now. "At making coffee for free. Which is a gift I think you should keep giving."

Jin points a measuring spoon at her, his glare narrowing. "Say one more word, Yeji. I dare you."

You press your lips together to stifle a laugh, watching as the two of them slip into what feels like a well-practiced routine of bickering. There’s no real venom behind it, though—more like the kind of comfortable, teasing back-and-forth you’d expect from people who’ve known each other forever.

Yeji leans toward you, stage-whispering loud enough for Jin to hear, "See? Like I said, all the fun people I know hate me."

"You’re not wrong," Jin mutters, tapping the milk pitcher against the counter with finality.

"Okay, but hold on." You turn back to Yeji, furrowing your brow. "Didn’t you say the discount was because you helped some guy set up his amp? That’s Jin?"

Yeji grins unabashedly. "That’s what I just said, isn’t it?"

"Barely," Jin interrupts, placing two cups on the counter. "She’s acting like she wired my entire sound system when all she did was untangle two cords and plug one in."

"Wow," Yeji scoffs, clutching her chest like she’s been wounded. "You mean my contributions to your mediocre cover band don’t count for anything? I bled for that amp, Jin."

"Bled?" Jin repeats, rolling his eyes. "You stubbed your toe on the edge of the stage, and I gave you a Band-Aid."

"Exactly." She leans forward again, whispering to you. "Can you believe this ingratitude? It’s tragic, really."

"Tragic," Jin mimics, shooting her a look. Then he sighs, grabbing the two cups and beginning to fill them with ice. "I don’t know why I even put up with you."

"You love putting up with me," Yeji says confidently, leaning back on the stool. "Admit it."

Jin doesn’t dignify her with a response, instead gesturing toward you with the cups. "You still good with that iced latte? Or are you also going to start demanding free labor?"

"Hey, I didn’t demand anything," you say quickly, raising your hands in mock defense. "I’m just here to witness... whatever this is."

"This," Jin says pointedly, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "is me being the kind and patient soul who tolerates Yeji’s nonsense so no one else has to."

"Generosity like that doesn’t go unnoticed," Yeji says, smirking as she stretches her legs out in front of her.

You watch them, unsure whether to laugh or try to mediate, and ultimately settle on leaning against the counter, shaking your head. "You two are like an old married couple."

Jin freezes mid-pour, a look of horror crossing his face. "Take that back."

Yeji grimaces. "I would never marry you, Jinjin. Don’t flatter yourself."

Jin mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like thank God, and Yeji’s smirk only widens as she kicks her boots up onto the metal rung of the stool, entirely too pleased with herself.

"Just for that," Jin announces, sliding the finished lattes onto the counter with a flourish, "you’re both paying full price today."

"Bold of you to assume I’ll pay at all," Yeji quips, pulling one of the cups toward her.

"Bold of you to assume I won’t spit in the next one," Jin fires back without missing a beat, turning toward the espresso machine like he’s already regretting this entire interaction.

Jin glances over your shoulder, his gaze sharpening. His whole demeanor shifts in an instant from sarcastic barista to mildly professional—though still annoyed.

"Alright," he says, waving a hand as if shooing you out of his immediate vicinity. "Table. Now. I’ve got paying customers to deal with."

You’re about to protest—mostly on principle—but Yeji is already hopping off the stool, clearly unbothered. She jerks her head toward a corner of the café, her expression a mix of smug and satisfied. "Come on, newbie. Let’s leave him to ruin someone else’s day."

Jin mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like, You do that just fine on your own, but he’s already turning to greet the person who’s just walked in. You follow Yeji across the small coffee shop, weaving between a couple of mismatched tables until she drops into a seat with all the grace of a cat deciding a counter is her throne.

Except, no cat sprawls quite like Yeji. She kicks out one leg, lets the other fold under her, and leans so far back in the chair you wonder if it’s going to tip. The smirk she throws your way makes it clear she knows exactly what she’s doing.

"Let me guess," you say, sliding into the chair across from her. "You only put up with Jin for the coffee?"

"Obviously." She picks up one of the little sugar packets from the table, fiddling with it. "You think I’d willingly hang out with someone who nags that much? Please."

You tilt your head, skeptical. "You seem to have put up with him for a pretty long time, though."

Yeji stops, the edge of her smirk softening into something more thoughtful. She flicks the sugar packet between her fingers, glancing toward the counter where Jin is now giving another customer the same unimpressed expression he greeted you with.

"Eh," she says finally, shrugging. "He’s my brother’s burden. And by extension, mine."

"Brother?"

"Yeah," she says, waving the sugar packet dismissively before tossing it back onto the table. "You’d never guess it, but Jin’s been lurking around my family for years. My brother’s best friend. Practically part of the furniture at this point."

"And you’re still friends?"

Her grin returns, sharp and teasing. "Friend is a strong word. I’d call him a very persistent houseplant with too many opinions."

You laugh, but there’s something about her tone—light, sure, but with a sliver of honesty just underneath. Like she’s been carrying this particular joke around for years.

"So, what’s your brother like?" you ask. "Is he a houseplant too?"

Yeji’s eyes narrow, her smirk deepening. "Oh, he’s... different. Very unlike me." She crosses her arms, tilting her chair back dangerously far before letting it drop forward with a thunk. "I’m, like, the black sheep of the family. Someone had to be the cool one."

The casual confidence in her voice makes you laugh, but there’s no denying she means it. You can almost picture her as a teenager, stomping through the house in combat boots while everyone else tried to play it safe.

"And let me guess," you say, leaning forward with mock seriousness, "your brother’s the golden child."

She snorts. "Obviously. Overachiever. Always doing the ‘right’ thing. Meanwhile, I’m over here breaking curfew, blasting music, and giving my parents gray hair." She grins at the memory, and there’s something oddly warm in her expression. "But hey, someone had to keep things interesting."

You shake your head, smiling. "So, what you’re saying is, you’ve been a menace your entire life."

"And proud of it," she says, leaning back again, her arms spreading out in mock celebration. "Black sheep and damn good at it. Honestly, I should get a plaque or something."

"Maybe Jin can make you one," you suggest, grinning. "In exchange for all the coffee you owe him."

Yeji’s laugh is sharp, cutting through the low hum of the café. "You think Jin’s that generous? Please. He’ll hold this over my head till I’m ninety."

Something tells you she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yeji drums her fingers against the table, her earlier bravado settling into something quieter. "But enough about me," she says, her voice lighter now, almost forcefully so. "This is getting depressing, and starting college is already enough of a buzzkill. What about you, then? What’s your deal?"

You blink at the sudden turn, caught off guard. "My deal?"

"Yeah, newbie. Your life. Your drama. Spill it." She leans forward, propping her chin on her palm, green eyes sharp with curiosity. "What brings you to the big, bad city?"

You hesitate for a second, unsure how much to share. But there’s something about Yeji’s energy—her casual, no-pressure vibe—that makes it easier to talk. Like she’s not asking for a confession, just a story.

"Well," you start, picking at the edge of your coffee cup, "I basically escaped my parents’ place. Figured it was time to get out, try something new. New York seemed as good a place as any."

Yeji raises an eyebrow. "Escape, huh? That sounds... dramatic."

You laugh, shaking your head. "Not really. Just your typical overprotective parents who think college should be within a ten-mile radius of home. Moving here felt like the first real shot at, I dunno, doing my own thing."

"New life, new you?" she teases, her smirk returning.

"Something like that," you admit, rolling your eyes. "But now I’m just... here. Trying to figure it out."

Yeji takes a sip of her latte, studying you over the rim of the cup. "And you’re living... where, exactly? Please tell me it’s not one of those sketchy Craigslist situations where your landlord is also your next-door neighbor and possibly a serial killer."

You snort. "Not quite. I’m in an apartment with a couple of guys. It’s... fine. For now."

Her eyes light up, sharp with interest. "A couple of guys? Bold move. What’s the catch?"

"One of them’s fine," you say, shrugging. "Quiet. Keeps to himself. The other one..." You pause, exhaling through your nose. "He’s... annoying."

Yeji grins like she’s just hit the jackpot. "Annoying how? Like, leaves his socks everywhere annoying, or ‘thinks he’s God’s gift to women’ annoying?"

"Honestly? Both," you say, leaning back in your chair. "He’s just... everywhere. Always has something to say, always pushing my buttons. It’s like he’s made it his personal mission to get under my skin."

Yeji’s grin widens, and she taps her temple knowingly. "Ah, the classic ‘obnoxious roommate’ trope. Bet he thinks he’s hilarious, too."

"Unfortunately," you mutter, taking a long sip of your coffee. "I’ve only been there three days, and I’m already over it."

"Three days?" Yeji repeats, her eyebrows shooting up. "Damn, you’re in for a ride."

"Tell me about it," you say, shaking your head. "I’m just trying to survive without murdering him."

"Sounds like a sitcom waiting to happen," Yeji says, leaning back in her chair with a mischievous glint in her eye. "You should start keeping a tally. Number of days without a homicide. Could be fun."

You laugh despite yourself, and Yeji raises her cup in a mock toast. "To new lives, annoying roommates, and overpriced coffee."

"Cheers," you say, clinking your cup against hers with a small smile. Maybe this whole ‘new life’ thing won’t be so bad after all.

✿ ⋆ ˚。

The walk back to campus with Yeji is surprisingly... nice. She’s mid-way through telling you an anecdote about how she once got banned from a school field trip for sneaking in fireworks—because of course she did.

"So there I was," she says, gesturing wildly with one hand, her iced latte sloshing dangerously close to the rim of the cup, "standing in the middle of the science teacher’s office, trying to convince her that Roman candles were an educational experience. Like, ma’am, it’s physics. Obviously."

You laugh despite yourself, shaking your head. "Let me guess. She didn’t buy it?"

Yeji snorts. "Oh, she definitely didn’t. She called my parents and wrote me up for ‘reckless endangerment.’ Which, like, fair. But still."

You’re about to ask what she even needed the fireworks for when Yeji suddenly stops in her tracks, her whole body going still.

"What—?"

"Shh," she hisses, eyes narrowing as she peers over the crowd.

You follow her gaze, trying to see what caught her attention, but all you spot are clusters of students scattered across the quad. A guy on a skateboard nearly wipes out, a group of girls laugh too loudly by the fountain, and someone’s carrying a coffee tray like their life depends on it. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Yeji’s lips twitch into a grin, and she glances at you with a conspiratorial glint in her eye. "Follow me."

"What?" you ask, already regretting letting her drag you into whatever this is.

"Just—trust me," she says, her voice low but brimming with mischief. She presses a finger to her lips in a silent "shh" motion before weaving into the crowd.

You hesitate for half a second before sighing and following her. Because of course you do. She’s Yeji—chaotic, unpredictable, and somehow magnetic in a way that makes saying no feel like the lamest option.

It takes a moment to figure out where she’s leading you. At first, you think she’s just wandering aimlessly, but then you spot them. A girl in pastel pink, her back to you, standing next to a guy in a soft sweater that matches her vibe a little too perfectly.

Before you can process what’s happening, Yeji’s already closing in. In one swift, smooth motion, she throws an arm around the girl’s shoulders, leaning in with a playful lilt to her voice.

"Hey, pretty girl," Yeji says, loud enough to make the girl jump. "You lost around here?"

Your heart nearly stops. Mortification floods your system as you gape at the scene unfolding in front of you. What is she doing?

The girl spins around, her expression startled for half a second before it melts into something bright and familiar. "Yeji!"

And then—you’re not imagining this, right?—she leans in and gives Yeji a quick peck on the lips, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Yeji grins, all smug and proud, her arm still draped casually over the girl’s shoulders. "Hey, babe. Miss me already?"

Meanwhile, you’re standing there like an idiot, trying to process the fact that Yeji just kissed someone in broad daylight and acted like it was no big deal.

The guy next to her—pastel sweater and all—looks about as confused as you feel. His wide eyes dart between the two of them, like he’s trying to figure out what kind of reality he just walked into.

Yeji glances back at you and gestures lazily. "Come on, don’t just stand there. You should probably meet the love of my life."

The girl—bubbly, glowing, and somehow radiating sunshine in that pastel outfit—turns her attention to you, her smile warm and welcoming.

"Hi!" she says, her voice soft but cheerful. "I’m Irya."

You blink, scrambling to remember how words work. "Uh, hi. I’m Y/N—"

"My new sidekick," Yeji interrupts, smirking as she jerks her thumb toward you.

"Not her sidekick," you mutter, shooting her a look.

Irya giggles, the sound light and infectious. "It’s nice to meet you. Yeji’s been texting me about her first day, and I think she mentioned someone new tagging along."

Texting her? When did she even have time?

Before you can respond, the guy beside Irya clears his throat softly, drawing everyone’s attention. He looks a little out of place, his hands tucked into his sleeves and his shoulders slightly hunched, like he’s trying to make himself smaller.

"Oh!" Irya says, her eyes lighting up. "This is Jimin. We just met earlier today."

"Hi," he says, his voice gentle, almost shy. He offers a small smile that makes him seem even softer than his sweater.

You nod, feeling slightly less out of place now that someone else looks a little unsure of what’s happening. "Nice to meet you, Jimin."

"Likewise," he says, his smile growing a fraction more confident.

Yeji, of course, doesn’t let the moment settle for too long. "So, what’s the story here?" she asks, looking between Irya and Jimin. "You two bonding over your shared love of pastel?"

Irya laughs, shaking her head. "No, we ran into each other near the library. He was nice enough to help me find my way to the art building."

Jimin shrugs modestly, his ears turning slightly pink. "It wasn’t a big deal. The signs here are kind of confusing."

"See?" Irya says, beaming. "Nice people still exist."

Yeji hums, clearly unimpressed. "I guess. But don’t get used to it. This city eats nice people alive."

"Yeji," Irya scolds lightly, nudging her with her elbow.

"What? It’s true," Yeji says, unfazed. Then she turns to you, smirking. "But don’t worry. I’ll toughen you up, newbie."

You roll your eyes but can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. Because as chaotic as Yeji is, there’s something weirdly reassuring about having her around. Even if it’s mostly to keep you on your toes.

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

Chapter 5: Sticky situations

Notes:

>

 

[𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞:

 

Hi, my loves ('。• ᵕ •。') ♡

This chapter feels like a bit of chaos wrapped in tension—a mix of sharp words, petty battles, and something just below the surface that neither of them is ready to admit. Writing Y/N and Jungkook's dynamic here was like threading a needle during a thunderstorm—messy, unpredictable, but so worth it when it lands!

There's something about the humor in their bickering, how it's loud and ridiculous, but then... those quiet moments. (God, those moments!) The way something almost shifts, softens, then slips away again before either of them can grab hold of it.

And Yoongi? My tired, endlessly patient middleman. He's the glue keeping their world from imploding. Kind of. ('-ω-`) Let's be honest—he's just trying not to lose his sanity in the crossfire.

I hope you feel the layers in this one: the humor, the tension, and the moments where things almost—almost—break. Let me know what sticks with you. Is it the comedy of it all? Or maybe the parts they won't let themselves say out loud yet?

Thank you for being here with me. Your kindness, your patience, it means everything.

⭑ With love,
Kiki
(。・ω・。)ノ♡

Chapter Text

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

You almost laugh out loud at how serious they look.

The door creaks as you step inside, the weight of the day still dragging at your shoulders. Your backpack slides off onto the floor with an unceremonious thud, and you kick off your shoes, the relief of bare feet on cool hardwood almost divine.

The apartment is dimly lit, save for the flickering glow of the TV in the living room. You hear it before you see it—commentators shouting something about a penalty, the crowd roaring in the background. Football. Of course.

You glance toward the couch, where Yoongi and Jungkook are perched like two overgrown kids at an arcade machine. Yoongi is slouched low, one hand on his knee, the other holding a beer bottle, his expression carrying that focused intensity that makes you wonder if he's actually enjoying himself or plotting murder. Jungkook, on the other hand, is leaning forward like his life depends on it, elbows on his thighs, jaw tight, eyes glued to the screen.

It's 2-2. Whatever that means.

You sigh, stepping further into the apartment, your gaze wandering. The silence in your head feels too loud after a day of constant noise—lectures, study groups, that one guy who wouldn't shut up about his crypto investments. You need a distraction.

Jungkook's door is half-open, and out of pure boredom, your eyes flick to the room. Black, red, and white dominate the space. A few posters cling to the walls, barely visible from where you stand. And there, propped against the far corner of the room, is an electric guitar.

Oh, fantastic. Of course, he's edgy. The universe really said, Here's your new roommate—a walking cliché with a cat.

Your lips twitch, a snort threatening to escape, but you stifle it.

You turn back to the living room, and the sight makes you pause. Yoongi and Jungkook are frozen in the exact same pose, heads tilting slightly as they track the ball across the screen. They look ridiculous, like synchronized statues, and you're tempted to snap a photo just for the sheer comedy of it.

And finally, there's Griffin. The orange ball of fur is sprawled lazily on the armchair, his tail swishing idly against the armrest like he's completely unbothered by the chaos of the game.

You decide to join him. After all, if you're going to be trapped in this testosterone-fueled sports shrine, you might as well have good company.

Stepping forward, you don't bother avoiding the TV. Why would you? It's not like you give two shits about football. Besides, maybe if you're annoying enough, they'll turn it off and you can finally have some peace.

"Hey! What the fuck?" Jungkook's voice cuts through the room as you walk directly in front of the screen.

"Move!" Yoongi barks, his tone clipped, eyes still locked on the game. You catch the slight twitch in his jaw, the way his fingers tighten around his beer bottle.

You ignore them both, making your way to the armchair and plucking Griffin up from his spot. He lets out a disgruntled little chirp but doesn't protest as you settle into the seat, placing him on your lap. You run your fingers through his fur, his purring rumbling softly beneath your touch.

At least someone in this apartment has their priorities straight.

"Are you serious right now?" Jungkook growls, finally tearing his gaze away from the screen to glare at you. And you can't help but notice the vein in his neck is practically throbbing—kind of impressive, really.

"What?" you reply innocently, not bothering to look at him. Your fingers continue their gentle strokes through Griffin's fur, each touch deliberate and slow, because you know it's driving him crazy.

"You just walked right in front of the TV!"

"And?" You glance up at him, raising a brow.

"And—" he sputters, gesturing wildly at the screen. "It's a fucking corner! Do you have any idea—"

"Nope." You cut him off, your voice flat, turning your attention back to Griffin. "Don't know. Don't care. Move on."

Silence. One beat. Two. Yoongi doesn't even say anything, just exhales loudly. And honestly, that says enough.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jungkook mutters, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Unbelievable."

"Unbelievable is you getting this worked up over men kicking a ball around," you shoot back, scratching behind Griffin's ears. The cat purrs louder, as if endorsing your sass.

"Men kicking a—" He stops mid-sentence, his jaw tightening as he takes a deep breath. "This isn't just men kicking a ball around. It's Liverpool. It's the Premier League. It's—"

"Boring," you finish for him, your tone sugary sweet. The word drops like honey-coated poison, and you can practically see it hit its mark as his eye twitches.

Yoongi’s got that look. You know the one—where he’s trying really hard not to lose his shit while you and Jungkook are at each other’s throats. His fingers tap-tap-tap against his knee, not even bothering with a real rhythm anymore, just pure irritation seeking an outlet. And fuck, you can practically see his patience crumbling with every word you and Jungkook throw at each other.

"Can you two shut up for five minutes?" he says, his voice carrying an edge that wasn’t there before. "They’re about to take the corner."

Jungkook whirls on him, his irritation now split between you and Yoongi. "Did you see what she just—"

"Corner, Jungkook," Yoongi interrupts, his voice sharp. "Shut. Up."

Silence drops like a lead weight. Heavy. Suffocating. And okay, maybe you shouldn’t find it so satisfying, but the way Jungkook’s shoulders tense up—like he’s physically biting back whatever bullshit he wants to spew—is kind of hilarious. He throws himself back against the couch with all the grace of a toddler denied candy, arms crossed tight over his chest. His eyes flick to you again, narrowing.

"Why are you even sitting there?" he finally says.

"Because Griffin’s here," you reply simply, gesturing to the cat now curled up on your lap. "And unlike you, he’s actually pleasant company."

Jungkook scoffs, turning back to the TV. "Yeah, well, don’t get too comfortable. That’s my chair."

"Oh, is it?" You feign surprise, leaning back and sinking further into the cushion. The fabric is warm where Griffin was lying, and you make a show of settling in deeper. "Huh. Feels like mine now."

His head snaps toward you again, eyes blazing. "You can’t just—"

"Can. Did." You smirk, patting Griffin’s head. "Thanks for warming it up for me, though."

You can see the moment his blood pressure spikes. It’s written all over his face—in the clench of his jaw, the flare of his nostrils, the way his fingers grip the armrest like he’s trying to strangle it.

But before he can say whatever bullshit he’s cooking up, Yoongi lets out this long-suffering exhale that honestly deserves an Oscar. You both turn to look at him, and holy shit—the sheer done-with-this-shit radiating off him could probably stop a freight train. Like, if exhaustion had a face, it’d be Yoongi right now, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s trying to physically hold back a stroke.

"I swear to God, if you two don’t shut the fuck up—"

"Tell her that!" Jungkook protests, pointing an accusatory finger in your direction.

"Tell him that," you counter, mimicking his tone perfectly.

Yoongi is actually about to lose his shit, you can tell. He’s giving you both this look that could probably melt concrete. Like, you can physically feel his patience evaporating into the air.

"Both of you. Quiet. Now."

You bite back a grin, turning your attention back to Griffin. Jungkook mutters something under his breath, probably cursing you out, but you’re too busy enjoying your victory to care. The commentators on the TV are shouting again, something about a header, and Yoongi leans forward, his focus snapping back to the game.

Jungkook’s glare burns into the side of your face, but you don’t acknowledge it. Because, honestly? You’re having too much fun pissing him off.

Griffin’s warmth seeps into your lap, his purring the only thing making this testosterone-fest slightly bearable. Like, seriously? The apartment’s basically turned into a shrine to Liverpool FC at this point, and you’re about ready to lose it.

God, you’re so fucking bored. The kind of bored where counting ceiling tiles starts to sound like a fun weekend activity. Maybe you should start a podcast about paint drying—bet it’d be more entertaining than watching these two lose their minds over men in shorts.

TikTok’s not even helping anymore. You’ve scrolled through enough thirst traps, "day in my life" vlogs, and that one guy who’s somehow universally decided to be everyone’s internet boyfriend. Your thumb’s on autopilot through the For You page while Griffin’s tail lazily swishes under your elbow, and the boredom’s really settled in now, making itself at home like that relative who doesn’t get the hint to leave.

It’s getting late, your throat’s dry, and your stomach’s ready to start a riot. But these two idiots? They’re not moving. Like, at all. Their dedication to this game is borderline cultish—you could probably commit arson and they’d just ask you to keep the flames away from the TV.

So you do the only logical thing left: open Uber Eats.

The app loads, and you scroll through options with the precision of a surgeon. Pizza? Too heavy. Sushi? Too expensive. Tacos? Perfect. You’re punching in your order when a loud cheer erupts from the couch, the sudden noise making Griffin’s ears twitch.

Jungkook throws his fists into the air, his voice cracking as he yells, "YES! YES! GET IN!"

You glance up just in time to see Yoongi give a small fist bump, his version of enthusiasm, while Jungkook is practically vibrating off the couch. It’s honestly comical, the contrast between their reactions—like watching a hurricane next to a gentle breeze.

"Did they score or something?" you ask flatly, thumb hovering over the confirm order button.

"Or something," Jungkook snaps without even looking at you,

And maybe there’s a breathless quality to his voice, and maybe it’s a bit hot. But you’re not going to think about that, because really, brains get weird when they’re hungry.

"Cool," you deadpan, hitting confirm. The action feels satisfyingly final, like putting a period at the end of a particularly annoying sentence.

The next fifteen minutes are a study in how two grown men can literally forget to blink while staring at a TV screen. You’ve been scrolling mindlessly through your phone, half-listening to the commentators lose their shit over what sounds like absolutely nothing, when Griffin decides to flip onto his back like he’s auditioning for America’s Next Top Cat. And honestly? Work it, king.

Then the doorbell rings.

The sound cuts through the commentary like a gunshot, making both guys flinch so hard you’d think someone tasered them. The way they jump in perfect sync would be comedy gold if it wasn’t so sad.

You carefully deposit Griffin back on the armchair with a whispered, "Don’t get too comfortable," and head for the door.

"Wait, wait, wait—" Jungkook suddenly says, his voice sharp with panic.

You glance back and see both him and Yoongi standing now, frozen mid-motion in front of the TV, their bodies angled toward the screen like it’s actually about to vanish. The intensity in their expressions makes you wonder if they realize how ridiculous they look—like someone hit pause on a particularly dramatic scene in a B-grade sports movie.

"What now?" you ask, already annoyed. The smell of your food is wafting through the door, and your stomach growls in response.

"It’s a corner," Yoongi mutters, as if that explains anything. It doesn’t. But his eyes are fixed on the screen with an almost religious devotion, and you swear you can see his left eye twitching.

"Oh my God," you sigh, opening the door. The delivery guy stands there, holding a bag of tacos that smells like salvation. You grab it, handing him a couple of crumpled dollar bills from your pocket.

"Thanks," you say, stepping back inside and shutting the door with your foot. The sound is somewhat loud, but neither of your roommates even flinches.

As soon as you turn around, you’re greeted by the sight of Jungkook and Yoongi still glued to the screen. They’re both standing now, leaning slightly forward, as if their collective focus can somehow will a goal into existence. And honestly? The TV light hitting their faces makes them look even more unhinged than usual—if that’s even possible.

You shake your head, walking past them to plop back down on the armchair. Griffin immediately claims your lap again, his tail curling around your arm as you set the food on the coffee table. Thank god for this cat—at least one being of the male species in this apartment still has his sanity intact.

Unwrapping your drink, you take a long sip, savoring the sugary coldness. It’s good. The perfect counterbalance to whatever is happening on the screen—which basically is a bunch of grown men chasing a ball while your roommates act like it’s the literal apocalypse.

Yoongi mutters something under his breath, and Jungkook groans loudly, throwing his head back in frustration. Man’s really overdoing it, the sound almost pornographic in its intensity. You nearly choke on your drink.

"Relax," you say, tearing open a taco wrapper. "It’s just a game."

The words hang there for a second, and holy shit—you swear the room actually gets colder. Jungkook whips his head around so fast you’re half expecting his neck to snap. And the look he’s giving you? Pure horror. Like you just told him you kick puppies for fun or actually enjoy Nickelback.

"Just a game?" The way he says it is... different. Low and rough, like he’s physically holding back from losing his shit. And okay, maybe it makes your skin do this weird tingly thing, but that’s probably just your fight-or-flight response kicking in.

You glance up, chewing slowly, and give him your best unimpressed look. "Yeah. Just a game."

His nostrils flare, and you watch with mild fascination as a muscle in his jaw jumps. "You wouldn’t get it."

"Oh no," you say, mockingly wide-eyed. "You’re right. I don’t understand the deep emotional complexities of men running after a ball."

You layer the sarcasm on thick, letting it drip off your words like the sweetest kind of venom. And yep—there it is. His eyes narrow, that little twitch of annoyance you’ve gotten way too good at triggering. Honestly? Kind of satisfying.

"Okay, you need to stop talking," Jungkook snaps, his attention flicking back to the screen. But there’s a tension in his shoulders now that wasn’t there before, and you know you’ve successfully gotten under his skin.

"Gladly," you mutter, taking another bite. The taco is perfect—just the right amount of spice to match the heat of your satisfaction at pissing him off.

Yoongi doesn’t even glance at you, his eyes still glued to the game. But his voice is tired, worn thin like an old rubber band. "Can you two not? It’s literally the last 10 minutes."

"Tell him that," you say around a mouthful of taco, gesturing toward Jungkook with all the grace of someone who’s actively trying to be annoying.

"Tell her that," Jungkook shoots back without missing a beat, and the childish mimicry makes you want to throw something at his head.

Yoongi exhales heavily, and he looks like he’s two seconds away from strangling you both. "I am so close to kicking both of you out."

"Good luck with that," you mutter, leaning back against the armchair with Griffin nestled on your lap as you sip at your drink.

And you know what? It’s okay, because the tacos are still warm, the fries perfectly salted, and you’re just starting to feel the kind of smug satisfaction that only good food and pissing off Jungkook can provide.

Or you were—right up until you see it.

The audacity. The sheer fucking gall.

Jungkook’s hand is halfway into your fry box, his fingers curling around the golden, crispy treasures like he’s the main character in some heist movie. Except, spoiler alert: he’s not slick. And you’re not about to let this slide.

Your eyes zero in on his hand like a heat-seeking missile. Time seems to slow down, each second stretching like molasses as you watch his fingers close around your fries. The absolute nerve of this man. The unmitigated audacity. The colonial-level entitlement.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" you snap, your voice cutting through the sound of the TV like a whip.

Jungkook freezes, his hand still in the fry box, and for a moment, he just stares at you like you’re the one who’s out of line. Slowly, deliberately, he pulls his hand back—with the fries still in it.

You take it back. Everything is not okay.

"What? They’re just fries," he says, popping one into his mouth like he doesn’t have a care in the world. The way his lips curl around the word ‘just’ makes you want to commit several felonies.

"Not your fries," you bite out, snatching the box away from him and cradling it protectively like it’s a newborn baby.

"Christ, you’re so fucking dramatic," he mutters, leaning back on the couch with that cocky little smirk plastered across his face.

"Dramatic?" You glare at him, your grip tightening on the box. "Says the guy who threw a goddamn tantrum over a missed goal ten minutes ago."

"That wasn’t a tantrum," he retorts, his tone sharp. "It was a valid reaction to bullshit officiating."

"Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were the fucking expert on what’s valid," you shoot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Okay, you need to calm the fuck down," he snaps, his smirk giving way to an irritated scowl. The transition happens so fast it’s almost beautiful—like watching a storm roll in over calm waters.

"Don’t tell me to calm down when you’re the one stealing my food, you asshole!"

"Asshole?" he repeats, leaning forward like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. "You’re calling me an asshole over a few fries?"

"Yes, because you are one! Who does that? Who just reaches over and takes someone else’s shit without asking?"

"It’s not that deep, Phoenix," he sneers, using one of your damn fries to point at you.

And yeah, he’s still using that fucking stupid-ass nickname, and you don’t know if it’s the way it rolls off his tongue like he owns it or the fact that he keeps using it when you’ve told him to stop. But something hot and angry coils in your chest.

That’s it. You’re done.

"You fucking—" You lunge forward, aiming to grab the fry he’s holding just to prove a point, but the motion jostles your drink.

The cup tilts too far, the lid popping off as the cold liquid spills out in a torrent of sticky soda. The dark liquid arches through the air, and you swear it happens in slow motion. It’s tragic.

"Fuck!" you shout, jerking back as the drink splashes across your lap, soaking into your shirt and dripping onto the floor. The cold seeps through the fabric immediately, making you gasp.

"What the fuck, Phoenix?!" Jungkook yells, jumping up as the soda splashes onto his sweatpants, the dark stain spreading across the fabric.

"You’re fucking kidding me!" you bark, holding up your now-empty cup as if to accuse him of some unforgivable crime.

"I’m kidding? You’re the one who flipped your shit over fucking fries!"

"Because you stole them!"

"Oh my fucking God, you’re insane," he snaps, his voice rising. The vein in his neck is pulsing now, and you hate that you notice it.

"You’re a fucking thief!" you counter, standing, and god does murder sound good right now.

"Are you hearing yourself right now? It’s fucking food!"

"Exactly! My food! The one I paid for!"

"Jesus fucking Christ," he mutters, dragging a hand down his face in frustration. "You’re literally overreacting."

"Yeah? Maybe I wouldn’t be if you weren’t such a colossal dick!"

"Me? A dick? You’re the one who—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Holy shit. You actually jump, because what the fuck? Yoongi? Quiet, mind-his-own-business Yoongi just went full drill sergeant on your asses. Like, you’ve lived here three days, and you’ve barely heard him speak above a whisper.

You both whip around to stare at him. He’s still sprawled on the couch, beer in one hand while the other’s gripping his neck like he’s physically holding back a stroke. And the way he’s looking between you and Jungkook? If looks could kill, your bodies would already be decomposing.

"It is the 91st minute, and I swear to fucking God, if you two don’t sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up, I will throw you both out the goddamn window."

Then it's just... silence.

Because, really, what are you supposed to say—to do—after that? Your tongue aches from biting back the words you really want to say, the ones that would definitely make things worse. The heat climbing up your neck feels suffocating, your glare burning holes into Jungkook’s stupid, smug face.

And of course—because why wouldn’t he?—the asshole just stares back at you like this entire mess is a joke he's already won.

No, scratch that. He doesn’t just look unbothered. He looks fucking delighted with himself. Like he's cracked some inside joke you’ll never be in on. It’s the specific brand of smugness that makes you want to introduce his head to the nearest wall. Repeatedly.

And then, as if to crown himself King of Petty, he chews. Obnoxiously.

His jaw works in slow, exaggerated movements, lips parting just enough for you to see every agonizingly deliberate crunch. It’s so performative, so fucking calculated, it’s clear he’s doing it just to piss you off. The wet, smacking sound is a declaration of war, echoing like he’s trying to summon Satan himself to test your patience.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" you hiss, nails digging into the fabric of the armrest like that's going to hold back your rage.

He doesn't reply. Oh no. He just keeps chewing, loud and messy, his gaze locked on yours with the kind of shit-eating grin that makes you want to grab the nearest object and hurl it directly at his stupid face.

And then, because he's the walking, talking embodiment of fuck around and find out, he flips you off.

A slow, deliberate middle finger. Right in your face. The gesture is almost elegant in its pure, distilled disrespect.

You don't even think. Your hand shoots up, flipping him off right back, practically jamming your middle finger into his line of sight. Childish? Yeah. Whatever. You're too far gone to care.

Jungkook snorts, a low, mocking laugh that bubbles up from his chest as he leans back against the couch. He waves you off like you're a mildly annoying fly buzzing around his head, his attention already drifting back to the TV.

"You're so fucking immature," you mutter, crossing your arms and sinking deeper into the armchair, Griffin's soft fur brushing against your elbow as he adjusts on your lap.

"Yeah?" Jungkook murmurs without looking at you, grabbing another fry and tossing it into his mouth. "Takes one to know one, Phoenix."

Your eye twitches. You're about to fire back, but then he suddenly leans forward, his entire body snapping to attention as the commentators' voices rise in unison.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit—"

His eyes are glued to the screen, his hand hovering mid-air with another fry poised between his fingers. He's perched on the edge of the couch now, his back arched like it physically pains him not to throw himself into the TV.

"What?" you ask, your tone flat, though you're already bracing yourself for whatever nonsense is about to pop off.

"They're gonna fucking score," he breathes, his voice hushed like he's witnessing the second coming of Christ. The intensity in his expression would be almost impressive if it wasn't so ridiculous.

Yoongi stands up too, his arms crossing over his chest, his entire posture radiating tension. "Don't jinx it," he mutters, but there's a glint of hope in his eyes, his weight shifting from one foot to the other.

You glance between the two of them, utterly baffled by their synchronized intensity. It's like watching two grown men about to faint over a goddamn soap opera, except the soap opera is just sweaty dudes kicking a ball.

And then, because karma apparently has a sense of humor, Jungkook chokes on the fry in his mouth.

He lurches forward, coughing violently as one hand slaps against his chest and the other flies up to clutch his temples. His eyes are wide, face turning red as he wheezes like he's about to die.

"Jesus Christ," you mutter, leaning away from the armchair as he stumbles to his feet. The spectacle is both concerning and somewhat satisfying—karma really is that bitch.

Yoongi's reaction is immediate, his hands flying to his hips as he barks, "Fucking chew your food, Jungkook!"

"I—fuck—" Jungkook sputters, pounding his chest with his fist as he finally manages to swallow. He's still hunched over, his palms pressed against his temples like he's trying to physically hold his brain together.

And then it happens.

The ball hits the back of the net, and the TV erupts with the sound of the crowd screaming.

"YES! FUCKING YES!" Jungkook shouts, his fists pumping into the air as he jumps up and down like an overgrown toddler. The transition from choking to celebrating is honestly fucking stupid. He's fucking stupid.

"FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!" Yoongi yells, his grin wide as he claps his hands together, his beer sloshing dangerously close to the edge of the bottle. Okay he's stupid too. Maybe a bit less.

They're both screaming, their voices overlapping in a chaotic mess of guttural sounds and incoherent words. Literally two fucking neanderthals discovering fire for the first time.

Griffin bolts.

Because that's what terrified animals do with sudden noises, and so you can't really blame him when he launches himself off your lap with a panicked yowl. But his claws dig into your thigh as he leaps, and it stings, and these two are still being stupid—

"Shit!" you hiss, flinching as you grab at your leg. Griffin darts under the coffee table, his orange fur puffed up like a spooked Halloween decoration.

You glare at the two idiots still celebrating like they've personally won the goddamn match. Jungkook is now pacing in circles, his hands in his hair, while Yoongi is standing with his arms wide, shouting something about "top fucking class."

God, you're so done with this shit. Like, completely done. The cushion's right there. And honestly? Fuck it. You grab it and chuck it as hard as you can, letting all that built-up frustration fly with it.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" you yell as it flies across the room.

"What the fuck?!" Jungkook barks, turning to face you, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"That's for scaring Griffin, you loud-ass caveman!" you snap, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"It's not my fault he's a fucking coward!" Jungkook shoots back, his voice still loud with leftover adrenaline.

"Oh, fuck you! You're the one who practically screamed his ears off!"

"Both of you," Yoongi repeats, his voice colder than the soda still soaking into your shirt, "shut the fuck up. And clean the damn soda you spilled before it stains. Jesus Christ."

You blink, momentarily caught off guard by the sheer dad energy radiating off him. He's standing there, arms crossed, a scowl carving deep lines into his face as he looks between you and Jungkook like you're the absolute bane of his existence.

Jungkook, unbothered as always, sinks back down onto the couch with one arm draped lazily over the backrest. The victory has left him loose-limbed and smug, which somehow makes him even more insufferable.

"It's not my mess," he mutters, grabbing another fucking fry and chewing it like he's auditioning for some slow-motion chewing gum commercial.

You whip your head toward him so fast you almost give yourself whiplash. "Not your mess? Are you fucking kidding me? You're the reason it happened!"

"Oh, right, because you weren't the one flailing around like a lunatic over a box of fries," he retorts.

"Because you stole them!" you snap back, your voice climbing with every word. The sticky fabric of your shirt clings to your skin, reminding you of just how much this night has gone to shit. "If you'd just kept your greasy little fingers to yourself—"

"That's rich coming from someone who eats like a fucking raccoon," Jungkook cuts you off, gesturing vaguely at the taco sauce staining your shirt.

"Raccoon?!"

"Enough!" Yoongi barks, the sheer volume of his voice making both of you flinch. His patience, which has been stretching thinner than cheap plastic wrap all evening, finally snaps. He immediately rubs circles on his temples, muttering something about "fucking children" under his breath before leveling you both with a glare that could bring armies to their knees.

"Clean. The. Fucking. Soda," he says, enunciating each word like he's explaining quantum physics to toddlers. "And you better pray the stains come off, or I'm taking both your shares of the deposit to cover the damages."

Your jaw drops. "My share? Why the fuck would you take my share? I wasn't the one who—"

"You were both involved," Yoongi interjects, his tone final. "I don't give a shit who spilled what. Just clean it. Now."

Jungkook groans, dragging his hands down his face like he's the one suffering here. "Fine. Whatever."

"Fine," you echo, shooting him a glare before standing up, your socks squelching against the sticky floor.

The sound alone makes you cringe, your mood souring further as you glance at the dark stain spreading across the hardwood. Perfect. Fucking perfect. Of course, the soda couldn't spill on the rug that no one gives a shit about. No, it had to seep into the one part of the apartment that actually matters.

You sigh sharply, stomping toward the sink area, your own patience dangling by a thread now. Crouching down, you yank open the small cupboard beneath it, the hinges creaking like even they're also exhausted by tonight's bullshit. The smell of damp wood wafts out, mixing with the faint scent of dish soap as you start rummaging through the cluttered abyss of cleaning supplies.

Dish sponges. A half-empty bottle of something that might've been Windex in a past life. A sad-looking scrub brush that's definitely seen better days. You shove things aside with a little too much force, the sharp clang of plastic bottles echoing in the too-quiet apartment.

Too quiet because he's still there.

And you can feel him.

Jungkook's leaning against the kitchen table behind you, his presence there and annoyingly impossible to miss. You don't even have to turn around to know his expression is that perfect mix of stupid and annoyed—a look he's perfected just for you, really.

"Could you not hover?" you snap without looking up, your hand blindly searching for something—anything—useful in this pit of despair.

"I'm not hovering," he says, his voice flat. "I'm waiting. Because you're taking for-fucking-ever."

You roll your eyes so hard you're surprised they don't roll out of your head. "Maybe if you actually helped instead of standing there like a useless prick—"

"For fuck's sake," he cuts you off, his socks scuffing against the floor as he pushes off the table. "Let me look."

You twist your neck just enough to glare at him over your shoulder. "Shut the fuck up and find a rag or something to clean with, genius."

His mouth twitches, a flicker of amusement breaking through the irritation, and you hate how your stomach twists at the sight of it. Without another word, he leans forward to the sink, reaching over you like you're not even there.

He yanks a rag from the basin, holding it up triumphantly. "Already got one, genius."

You scoff, your fingers finally wrapping around the spray bottle you've been searching for. "Well, I already found the spray, genius." You stand up with it, mimicking his tone in the most childish way possible, your nose wrinkling for added effect.

He snorts as he leans back against the table, the rag dangling from his hand. The tension in the room is thick, and you half-expect him to start another argument, but instead, the sound of a door clicking shut catches both your attention.

Yoongi.

The poor bastard has officially retreated to his room, leaving the two of you to destroy what's left of his sanity in peace.

"Great," you mutter under your breath, turning on your heel and heading back to the soda-stained floor.

Yeah. The sticky mess is still very much present, very much there; dark and spreading like some kind of metaphor for how this whole night has gone.

Jungkook follows, because of course he does, trailing behind you like some kind of annoying shadow. You crouch down near the stain, gripping the spray bottle tightly as he plops down beside you, rag in hand.

"I spray, you clean," you declare, already aiming the nozzle at the sticky mess. The sooner this is over, the sooner you can pretend this whole night never happened.

He freezes, his brows shooting up as he looks at you like you've just suggested committing arson. "What the fuck? That's so much more effort for me."

"Yeah, well, I found the spray, so I make the rules," you counter, trying to channel some authority into your voice. The fluorescent kitchen light catches on his silver ring as he adjusts his grip on the rag, and you force yourself to look away.

"That's the dumbest logic I've ever heard," he mutters, shaking his head. "I spray, you clean."

"Nuh-uh," you shoot back. "I found the fucking spray. You just grabbed a damn rag. Know your place."

His jaw tightens, and for a second, you think he's going to argue further. But then he throws his hands up in exasperation, the rag flopping limply in his grip.

"Fucking fine. Whatever, man."

You finally start spraying haphazardly, the cleaning solution pooling on the hardwood. Jungkook leans forward, scrubbing at the edges of the mess with the rag, his brows furrowed in concentration.

And then he stills.

It's subtle at first, more of a hesitation than an actual stop. You barely notice it, focused on your task, but then his movements falter entirely. The rag hangs limply in his hand, his shoulders stiffening as he shifts slightly in place.

You glance over, just enough to see his head tilt the tiniest fraction.

"What?" you ask, your voice sharper than intended, because what the hell is this fucker doing?

He doesn't answer immediately. His gaze flicks toward you, his lips parting like he's about to say something, but no words come out. Instead, his eyes narrow slightly, his focus dipping—lower.

You blink, caught off guard, and follow his gaze.

It's not your shirt, thank God, though the lingering soda stain clinging to the fabric is mortifying enough. No, he's looking... somewhere else. Just below your chin, maybe, but not in a way that feels lecherous. It's—what the fuck is happening right now?

"What?" you repeat, louder this time, your fingers tightening on the spray bottle.

His jaw shifts, his tongue darting out briefly to wet his lips. The motion is quick, almost imperceptible, but you catch it. Of course you do, because your brain feels like it's operating on high alert for some goddamn reason.

"You're not wearing your usual cologne," he says, his voice lower than it was five seconds ago. Rougher.

The words hit you like a slap, leaving you momentarily stunned.

"...What?"

He doesn't look at you right away. His eyes linger for a beat too long on—what? Your collarbone? The curve of your neck? He's too fucking close for you to figure it out, and it's making your skin crawl, but not in the way you'd prefer.

"It's different," he says finally, sitting back on his heels, his gaze flicking to yours.

A pause. He glances down. Back up. Back down.

"It's not what you normally wear," he adds, his voice quieter now, almost an afterthought.

"Why the fuck would you notice that?"

The question comes out harsher than you mean it to, but you don't take it back. You can't. You're too busy trying to figure out why this—of all things—has got him acting like a fucking weirdo.

He doesn't answer. His gaze flicks down briefly—again—jaw clenching as his thumb rubs over the edge of the rag in his hand. You'd think it was a nervous gesture, but this is Jungkook you're talking about. And Jungkook? He doesn't do nervous.

"No reason," he mutters, and you don't miss how his voice has dipped into something quieter. Thicker.

But the way his jaw tightens? The way his throat bobs when he swallows? It tells you there's a reason.

A fucking big one.

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

Chapter 6: trouble and temptation

Summary:

"Maybe instead of fighting it... we just let it happen."
And there it was—the line they'd been dancing around, finally drawn in the sand. The question was: who would cross it first?

Notes:

A/N: hello my beautiful disaster bi's and non-bi's! ヽ(・∀・)ノ your resident trash author is back with another chapter of this mess™️

first of all: thank you SO MUCH for the comments and kudos!!! like seriously, my therapist is concerned about how much serotonin i get from them but whatever mom, let me have this. you're all literally keeping me alive (along with concerning amounts of energy drinks but we don't talk about that).

also shoutout to the anon on tumblr who made fun of jungkook on the previous chapter for tryna play it off how he noticed her change in cologne 😭. you're so real for that. as his creator, yes he’s stupid like that. unfortunately he keeps escaping the timeout corner and doing whatever the fuck he wants. the audacity of this man, i swear.

speaking of audacity... this chapter. THIS CHAPTER. i wrote most of it at 3am while my roommate was threatening to hide my laptop because "normal people sleep at night kiki" but jokes on her, i am fueled by spite and insomnia ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

fair warning: the sexual tension in this one might actually set your phone on fire. i'd apologize but like... we all know what we signed up for here. blame jungkook, he's the one who doesn't know how to act.

also yes, the book club group chat was 100% inspired by my own chaotic friends who keep adding me to group chats with increasingly unhinged names. yeji is basically a self-insert at this point and i refuse to be ashamed of it.

as always, comments feed my soul and might actually convince me to maintain a semi-regular posting schedule (no promises though, adhd brain goes brrr).

next chapter is... well. let's just say y'all might need to keep some ice water handy (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)

- kiki

p.s. yes, i did have to rewrite half this chapter because i forgot to save. no, i have not learned my lesson. yes, my laptop is held together with spite and prayer at this point.

Chapter Text

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

"Great. Just fucking great."

You stand in the middle of the kitchen, staring at the dark, sticky stain below your chin. The smell is horribly obnoxious and sweet as it clings to the fabric of your shirt—and it somehow manages to make the whole situation worse.

"Yeah, well, next time don't throw your drink like you're auditioning for The Real Housewives," Jungkook mutters, tugging at the waistband of his stained sweatpants.

You glare at him, not even bothering to hide your disgust. "Next time, don't steal my fries."

He scoffs, rolling his eyes like you're the unreasonable one here. "You're so fucking dramatic."

"And you're so fucking annoying," you snap, crossing your arms. But the sticky fabric presses against your skin, and you wince, instantly regretting the movement.

Jungkook notices, and he smiles, for good measure. "What's wrong, Phoenix? Soda shirt ruining your day?"

You resist the urge to throw the nearby apple into his face. Instead, you sigh sharply, looking to the side. "I need to change."

"Good idea," he drawls, glancing pointedly at your ruined top. "Because honestly? You look like a walking commercial for bad decisions."

"Like you're one to talk," you shoot back, gesturing to the dark mistake spreading across his gray sweats. "You're one step away from being a Tide commercial."

He looks down, frowning slightly before shrugging it off. "At least I still look good."

Your mouth opens to argue, but then—because the universe is a bitch like that—Yoongi's bedroom door creaks open.

He steps out of his room with the energy of a man who's seen far too much in one night. His gaze flicks between you and Jungkook, narrowing slightly.

"Are you two seriously still at it?"

You bite back a retort, but Jungkook? Of course, he has to push it.

"She's mad because she doesn't know how to hold a drink."

Yoongi raises a brow, clearly unimpressed. "I don't care. Just clean yourselves up and keep it down."

And then, before either of you can reply, he gestures vaguely toward the bathroom. "Figure it out. Preferably without killing each other."

The door to his room shuts with a resounding click, leaving you and Jungkook alone in silence.

"Great," you mutter, brushing past him. "I'll go first."

But Jungkook steps in front of you, his shoulders broad and unmovable as a wall. "Uh, no. I'm going first."

"You've got to be kidding me," you scoff, glaring up at him.

He crosses his arms, looking down at you like he thinks he's super cool or something. "What, you think I'm just gonna sit around in sticky sweatpants while you take your sweet time?"

"Yes," you deadpan, pushing past him.

But he sidesteps, blocking you again. "Nope. Not happening, Phoenix."

"Jungkook," you hiss, your tone low and dangerous. "Move."

"Make me," he challenges, leaning down just enough to be obnoxious.

God, what a way to be annoying.

"You're impossible."

"And you're slow."

And just like that, the fucker is already moving toward the bathroom door. Before you can stop yourself, you grab his wrist. He freezes, his eyes darting down to where your fingers wrap around skin. For a second—a single, breathless second—neither of you moves.

"Jungkook," you say, your voice quieter now, though no less pissy. "Just let me go first. It'll take two minutes."

He regards you for a hot second, gaze flicking up to meet yours. Yeah, he's not backing out. How can someone be so insufferable?

"You're not going first," he says, voice tight. "Not after you started this mess."

"Oh, so it's my fault now?"

"Obviously."

You see how the door looms behind him, bathroom practically glowing like a promised land. But there's no way he's going to move.

"Fine," you snap, throwing your hands up in frustration. "We'll both go."

His brows shoot up. "What?"

"You heard me," you say, already stepping forward. "You want to be stubborn? Fine. We'll share the stupid bathroom."

He stares at you like you've lost your mind, and maybe you have. But fuck him and his childish antics, honestly.

"You're serious," he says, his tone disbelieving.

"Dead serious," you reply, brushing past him to open the door.

The interior of the bathroom is... small. Much smaller than you had expected, actually. The vanity and sink are immediately visible upon entry. To the right at the back, there's a shower just big enough for one. And right next to the door... the toilet.

Perfect. Because this couldn't possibly get any worse.

"Move. You're blocking the way."

And you do move, but not because he said so. Because he's obnoxious and you really don't want to spend one more second in his proximity than absolutely necessary. The further away, the better.

You head for the sink, grabbing one of the scrub brushes from the shelf. Jungkook grabs the other. You glare at his reflection, but he just smirks, clearly enjoying this more than he should.

God, this is going to be a nightmare.

You begin scrubbing the sticky stain off your shirt, the soda obnoxiously rooted to the piece of clothing like it's been fused there by some petty god. You glance back at the mirror, biting back a groan when you realize the mess has only gotten worse.

"Fucking useless," you mutter, tossing the tool into the sink.

Behind you, Jungkook shifts, the sound of fabric rustling drawing your attention. Your glance moves over your shoulder, only to freeze mid-motion. His hands are at the waistband of his sweatpants. The absolute bastard.

"What the actual fuck are you doing?!" You'd like to say it came out calm, but really it was more of a shriek.

"Taking my pants off, what's it look like?"

"I can see that, the question is why—"

"Because I'm not about to scrub my dick with a brush, Jesus." He makes a face. "Gotta take 'em off to scrub 'em, don't I?"

He yanks the waistband down, his movements unbothered and far too casual for what's happening right now.

Your jaw drops as his sweatpants slide down his legs, pooling around his ankles. He kicks them off with a casual flick of his foot, leaving him in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs that cling to him in a way that should probably be illegal.

"What the fuck?" you hiss, snapping your gaze away and throwing a hand up to shield your face like that'll somehow erase what you've just seen.

"What?" Jungkook says, and his voice is so nonchalant it makes you want to strangle him.

"Jesus Christ, you could've warned me!"

He snorts, leaning down to grab the sweats like he doesn't have an inch of shame to his name. "Warn you for what? It's not like I'm naked."

"You're close enough!" you shoot back, your voice rising indignantly.

"Relax," he drawls, grabbing the brush he'd left on the counter and running it under the faucet. "You're acting like you've never seen a guy in his underwear before."

"Not one I have to live with," you snap, keeping your gaze firmly on the tiles beneath your feet. The grout is chipped in places, the white faded to gray, and oh my god, why are you noticing this?

"You're being ridiculous," he says, tone amused as he starts scrubbing at the stain on his sweatpants. "It's not a big deal."

"Not a big—" You whip around, fully prepared to unload on him, only to instantly regret it when your gaze lands on his stupidly muscular thighs.

What the hell does this guy do, squat furniture?

"Phoenix," he says, and the smug lilt in his voice grates against your nerves. "If you're gonna keep staring, at least be useful and hand me the soap."

Your cheeks burn as you snatch the soap off the counter and slam it down next to him.

"Here. Happy?"

"Very," he says with a grin, and the way his dimples pop out makes you want to scream.

You turn back to the mirror, gripping the edge of the sink as you try to focus on literally anything other than the half-naked man behind you. But of course, the cramped space makes it impossible to ignore him—the rustling of fabric, the quiet muttering under his breath as he scrubs at his sweats, the occasional brush of his arm against yours when he moves.

"God," you mutter, scrubbing at the damn thing on your shirt with renewed vigor. "I hate this apartment."

"Sure you do," Jungkook says, clearly disbelieving.

You glare at him in the mirror, but he's too busy wringing out the wet fabric to notice. His biceps flex with the motion, and you instantly regret looking.

This is hell.

Your gaze flickers back to yourself in the mirror, grimacing at the dark spot that's spreading like a bad decision across the front of your shirt. He keeps at it, and you really can't help but briefly notice the sight of his broad back, those stupidly toned shoulders, and—ugh—those thighs you're actively trying not to think about.

But then you catch his eyes in the mirror.

He's not focused on his sweatpants anymore.

He's looking at you.

Specifically, at your shirt.

Your movements falter, and you huff, "What?"

Jungkook meets your gaze in the mirror, completely unfazed. "You're making a mess."

You scowl, turning back to the stubborn stain as you scrub harder. "Do I look like I give a fuck about your opinion?"

He shrugs, still annoyingly calm. "Clearly not. But if you want to be smart, you should take your shirt off and clean it properly."

The words hit you like a truck. You stop moving, your hand hovering mid-air as your brain screeches to a halt.

"Excuse me?"

"Like I'm doing," he adds, gesturing vaguely to the sweatpants on the sink.

You blink once.

Twice.

And then you whirl around to face him fully.

"You really expect me to undress in front of you?"

Jungkook raises an eyebrow, stopping his motions. "It was just a suggestion. And I meant your top, not, like, getting fucking naked. God."

"Thanks for the clarification," you deadpan, tone infused with sarcasm. "Still not happening."

"Suit yourself." He shrugs again, turning back to his sweatpants as if he literally hadn't proposed the stupidest idea ever.

Hold on that thought.

You cross your arms over your chest, wet shirt making you internally cringe at the sensation.

"I'd rather die than be naked in front of you."

The silence that follows is sharp, cutting through the cramped bathroom like a knife.

One beat.

Two.

And then Jungkook looks up, meeting your gaze with a smirk that makes your stomach flip—and not in a good way.

"But you've been naked in front of me before," he says, voice low, smirk widening as the words settle in the air.

Fucking—

"What?" you manage, your voice barely above a whisper.

"You heard me." His tone is maddeningly casual, like he's talking about the weather and not that night.

Your cheeks burn, and you suddenly can't decide if you want to strangle him or crawl into a hole and never come out. Probably both.

"That was—" you start, but your voice catches, and you curse yourself for how flustered you sound.

"That was what?" Jungkook prompts with that stupid, smug look still plastered across his face.

You glare at him, biting the inside of your cheek. "That was a mistake."

His smirk doesn't falter. If anything, it grows.

"A mistake, huh?"

"Yes. A one-time mistake."

Jungkook's eyes flick down to your shirt—just for a second, but it's enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing—before he looks back up, tilting his head.

"Okay, Phoenix," he says, his voice dropping to that infuriatingly low tone. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

And fuck, if you don't want to throw the damp brush at his stupid, smirking face.

"You're impossible, you know that?" you quip, throwing the brush down onto the sink in frustration.

"And you're dramatic," Jungkook fires back and shifts his weight, his arms crossing over his bare chest. "Just take it off already. You're making it worse."

"Stop saying that," you hiss.

"Why? Am I wrong?" He gestures at your shirt, the stain still glaringly obvious despite your furious attempts.

"Yes, you're wrong," you say through gritted teeth. "Because I'm not taking it off."

Jungkook's eyebrow quirks. "Why not? Embarrassed?"

"I'm not embarrassed."

"Then prove it." His voice dips lower, teasing, goading.

Your temper snaps. Without thinking, you grab the damn scrubber and hurl it at him with as much force as you can muster. But Jungkook? Bastard catches it effortlessly, reflexes sharp, expression amused.

"Wow. That was mature," he drawls, eyebrow quirked.

"Shut up."

He doesn't shut up, though. Of course, he doesn't. Instead, he steps closer, the brush still in his hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping," he says simply, his gaze dropping to the stain on your shirt.

You try to move back, but the edge of the sink digs into your lower back, caging you in place. Jungkook stops in front of you, and now he's close, way too close for comfort.

His eyes flicker up to yours briefly before he raises the damn thing, hesitating for a fraction of a second before he presses it lightly against the stained fabric.

You freeze.

His movements are slow as he begins rubbing. The bristles brush against your skin through the fabric, cool and rough, but it's the weight of his gaze that keeps you rooted in place.

You look down, watching his hand move in small, careful circles. It feels suffocating. He feels suffocating. Hell, the air feels suffocating, pressing down on your chest as your breath catches.

When you finally look up, he's already staring at you.

And God. His eyes are black.

"You're not even scrubbing properly," you say, but your voice wavers.

He doesn't respond. Instead, his free hand grazes against your hip, the touch so light it almost feels accidental.

Almost.

Your heart stutters, your pulse thrumming loudly in your ears. You glance down again, and your breath hitches when you see his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt.

"Jungkook," you warn, shakier than you'd like.

He doesn't back off. If anything, he leans in closer, his head dipping slightly as his fingers tug softly at the fabric. His breath ghosts over your cheek, warm and unsteady, and when he speaks, his voice is like gravel.

"Take it off," he whispers.

Your breath catches in your throat.

"No."

The word comes out weaker than intended, lacking the conviction you desperately need right now. And of course, that makes his lips curve into that infuriating smile again—the one that makes you want to commit several felonies. His tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip, and you hate that your eyes track the movement.

One eyebrow arches up, perfect and precise, and he looks amused. Like he's analyzing you, your reactions.

"Is it because you want me to take it off for you, Phee?" His voice drops lower. "You know... like last time?"

Last time.

Last time, when his hands were sliding under your dress, peeling it off slowly, teasingly. Fingers tracing your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Fuck you," you snap, trying to push the image away.

His smirk widens. "You already did."

Heat floods your cheeks. You shove at his chest, but he barely moves, solid and warm under your palms. Shit. Touching him was definitely a mistake because now you can feel his skin, smooth and far too hot beneath your hands.

"Why, you offering again?" he teases, and god, you want to slap that smug look right off his face.

"In your dreams," you bite back, but your hands are still on his chest, and you can feel his heart beating steady and strong beneath your fingers.

"Yeah," he agrees easily, voice dropping to a whisper. "Plenty of times."

Your stomach flips. But your body won’t listen.

"Move."

"I will." His fingers ghost along the hem of your shirt again, sending shivers up your spine. "As soon as you admit it."

"Admit what?" But you already know. Of course you know.

"That you wanna do it again." His thumb manages to brush against the strip of skin between your shirt and jeans, and you hate how your body reacts immediately.

"I don't."

You can hear your own brain. It's calling you a big fat liar.

"Come on..." He steps closer, if that's even possible in this tiny bathroom, and the heat from his body seems to seep into yours. "It doesn't have to be that complicated, Phoenix."

You don’t mean to stammer, but maybe you do. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying we've already crossed the line, Phoenix." His voice is quiet, but every word lands heavy, like he's dropping stones into the pit of your stomach. "Maybe instead of fighting it..."

He pauses, his fingers lightly skimming their way upwards.

"...we just let it happen."

Your heart stops.

For a second, you think you've misheard him. That maybe the pounding in your ears has drowned out the real meaning of his words. But the look on his face—the calm, collected confidence in his dark eyes—says otherwise.

"You're insane," you say, but it sounds weak and stupid.

Jungkook shrugs, his smirk creeping back. "Maybe. But you're thinking about it, aren't you?"

You open your mouth to argue, but nothing comes out. Because he's right. Goddamn him, he's right.

He takes a small step back, finally giving you room to breathe. But the distance doesn’t help. If anything, it only makes the weight of his words settle deeper in your chest.

"Think about it," he says softly, his tone lighter now but still cutting. "Could save us both a lot of trouble."

You don't move, rooted to the spot as he reaches for the towel hanging on the rack and tosses it onto the counter.

"Shirt's still a mess, by the way," he adds casually, nodding toward you before turning to leave.

You wait until the door shuts behind him before letting out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

The bathroom feels absurdly quiet now, as if his absence has left a strange kind of void. You stare at your reflection in the mirror—at the stain still clinging stubbornly to your shirt—and scowl.

Idiot, you mutter under your breath, though you're not entirely sure who you mean.

Because no matter how much you want to forget the way his words linger—soft, suggestive, impossible to ignore—you know you won't.

Not tonight.

Not for a while.

✿ ⋆ ˚。

 

You're sprawled out on your bed, staring at the water stain on the ceiling that kind of looks like a turtle, when your phone buzzes on the pillow beside you. The screen lights up with Emma's name, and you swipe it open without a second thought.

Emma: 𝚠𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚞𝚙

You: 𝚗𝚖. 𝟹 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚐
Emma: 😶 𝚙𝚕𝚜 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚊𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚃𝚒𝚔𝚃𝚘𝚔.
You: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚒 𝚊𝚖
Emma:  𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒'𝚖 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙲𝙿𝚂. 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚝𝚙
You: 𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝙳𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢

There's a pause. Then:

Emma: 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝚂𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝙰𝙻𝙻. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚒 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜, 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍
Emma: 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍, 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝
You: 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚒𝚊 𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚢𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎...
Emma: 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚙, 𝚊𝚖 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙸𝚟𝚢 𝙻𝚎𝚊𝚐𝚞𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔

You snort, setting the phone on your chest for a second before picking it back up. She's always like this—carefree, sharp, and, on occasion, insufferably confident. Columbia's her whole personality these days, right alongside her obsession with leaving New York for Seattle the second she graduates.

Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, and before you can overthink it, you type:

You: 𝚜𝚘 𝚞𝚑𝚖
You: 𝚍𝚘 𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚎

The typing bubble appears and disappears twice before her reply pops up.

Emma: 𝚋𝚛𝚘 𝚠𝚝𝚏 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 😭
You: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗 𝚓𝚊𝚗?
Emma: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑??
You: 𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 & 𝚒 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚞 𝚒 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎
You: "𝚖𝚎𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎"
Emma: 𝚘𝚖𝚐 𝚆𝙰𝙸𝚃.
Emma: 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚢??
Emma: 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 "𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍" 𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚜???

Your cheeks heat instantly. Why the hell did you tell her that? Oh, right. Because you'd been a little drunk and way too flustered to keep your mouth shut.

You: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑. 𝚑𝚒𝚖.
Emma: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖?
You: 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎
Emma: ????
Emma: ????!?!??
Emma: 𝙷𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙼𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙴???

You drop your phone on your chest for a second, cursing yourself before picking it back up.

You: 𝚞𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢.
Emma: 𝚋𝚏𝚏𝚛. 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚞𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢. 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝙷𝙸𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃.
You: 𝚂𝚃𝙾𝙿.
Emma: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚖????
You: 𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙽 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚙 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎, 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚍, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎
You: 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚒 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗
You: 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝚘𝚗𝚎-𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚎𝚡𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎

The typing bubble appears immediately, and you can almost see her losing her mind on the other end.

Emma:: 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚏𝚛

Emma: 𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗

You: 𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎. 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎.

Emma: 𝚞𝚑 𝚑𝚞𝚑.

Emma: 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

 

Your jaw drops, and you fire back without thinking.

You: 𝙴𝙼𝙼𝙰.
Emma: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚝.

Your fingers hover over the keyboard. You could just tell her the truth, spill everything about the moment (it wasn't a moment, you tell yourself), the ways his hand had brushed against your skin earlier, the way his stupid smirk still haunts you.

But instead:

You: 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒'𝚖 𝚍𝚎𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜.
Emma: 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎

You groan, tossing your phone aside as her messages keep coming.

Emma: 𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚎.
Emma: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚊 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚞.

You grab the phone again, glaring at the screen.

You: 𝚠𝚑𝚘'𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚛 𝚞 𝚘𝚗
Emma: 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚋𝚟

The typing bubble pops up again before her next message lands with the subtlety of a hammer.

Emma: 𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚞 𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

You sit up straighter, the sheer audacity of her words hitting you like a slap in the face. 

You: 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛. 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛.
Emma: 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕.
You: 𝚗𝚘.
Emma: 𝙶𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝙸𝚁𝙻.
You: 𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚊 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜
Emma: 𝚜𝚘 𝚊𝚖 𝚒.

You make a noise, already feeling yourself lose this battle. 

You: 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚊 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚌𝚎. 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚓𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐.
Emma: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚞 𝚖𝚘𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖??
You: 😭😭😭 
You: 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜
Emma: 𝚋𝚌 𝚒'𝚖 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝

You try to come up with an argument that doesn't immediately make you sound like a liar. 

You: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗
Emma: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚖??? 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚛 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛
You: 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛?? 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛

But Emma is like a dog with a bone, and she won't drop it. 

Emma: 𝚕𝚖𝚏𝚊𝚘 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎
Emma: 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎
Emma: "𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜"???
You: 𝚂𝚃𝙾𝙿.

You throw your phone onto the bed and scream into your hands, but it only buzzes again, pulling you back in. 

Emma: 𝚗 𝚒 𝚋𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚎'𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?
You: ...
Emma: 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃'𝚂 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙸 𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃.
You: 𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠

Her next text doesn't come right away, and you start to think maybe—maybe—she's dropped it. 

Until: 

Emma:𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗.
You: 𝚗𝚘.
Emma: 𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚖.
You: 𝚖𝚑𝚖𝚑𝚖𝚑𝚖.
Emma: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚘. 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘??? 𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚜𝚘 𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎.
Emma: 𝚒𝚏 𝚞 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚍, 𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎. 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎. 𝙱𝚄𝚃.
Emma: 𝚒𝚏 𝚞 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍... 👀👀👀

Your eyes widen, disbelief and deep  frustration settling in your chest. 

You: 𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚊.
Emma: 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕.
You: 𝙶𝙸𝚁𝙻 𝙽𝙾.
Emma: 𝙶𝙸𝚁𝙻 𝚈𝙴𝚂.
Emma: 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢??

You exhale sharply, rubbing your temple because you already know what's coming. 

You: ????? 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛.
Emma: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝... 𝚍𝚘 𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘.
You: 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚞 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚛𝚗

Emma, of course, takes this as an opportunity to keep pushing. 

Emma: 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐
Emma: 𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎
Emma: 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢
You: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎
Emma: 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝?? 𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚑𝚎'𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗
You: 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕
Emma: ?????
Emma: 𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎????

You freeze, the memory of Jungkook's voice from earlier—the way it had dipped just enough to make goosebumps flourish under your skin—breezing through your mind.  

"Maybe instead of fighting it... we just let it happen."  

You swallow thickly, cursing yourself for how hot and bothered that makes you feel. 

You: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚢
Emma: 𝚘𝚑, 𝚜𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚢?
Emma: 𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?
Emma: 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎. 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚎. 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜.

You groan, flopping back onto your bed and staring at the ceiling. Emma isn't wrong. She's annoying, but she's not wrong.

Still.

You: 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝.
Emma: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚞 𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚘, 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝙳𝙴𝚃𝙰𝙸𝙻𝚂.

You shut your phone off entirely this time, because if you read one more of her messages, you might actually lose your mind. 

But as you sink back into your pillows, you can't stop her words—or his—from bouncing around in your head. 

"Could save us both a lot of trouble."

No. No, absolutely not. 

Right?

But then your phone buzzes again, this time with a notification that makes you snort out loud. Yeji has created a new group chat, the name blazing across your screen in all its glory: 'Fuck The Patriarchy Book Club 📚'.

Great. Perfect. Because clearly what you need right now, while questioning your life choices and definitely not thinking about Jungkook's suggestion, is Yeji's chaos.

You watch as the messages start flooding in:

Fuck The Patriarchy Book Club 📚

Yeji🖤: 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚋 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜
+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚘𝚖𝚐 𝚢𝚎𝚓𝚒 🥺
+1 (212) XXX-XXXX: 𝙰𝚋𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝.
Yeji🖤: 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚞𝚜
+1 (212) XXX-XXXX: 𝙸'𝚖 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐.
Yeji🖤: 𝚗𝚘 𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝
+1 (212) XXX-XXXX: 𝚆𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚖𝚎.

+1 (212) XXX-XXXX left the group
Yeji🖤 added +1 (212) XXX-XXXX to the group

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX:  𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚜 🥺

You can't help but grin, picturing Jin's face right now. He's probably glaring at his phone with that same long-suffering expression he wore at the coffee shop.

You added +1 (917) XXX-XXXX as "Irya🌸"
You added +1 (212) XXX-XXXX as "Jin☕️"

Yeji🖤: 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜
Yeji🖤: 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜
Jin☕️: 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚋
Yeji🖤: 𝚊𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢
Irya🌸:𝙸 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑? 🥺
Yeji🖤: 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝙾𝙽𝙴 (𝟷) 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔
Jin☕️: 𝙸'𝚖 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎.
You: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚙
Yeji🖤: 𝚋𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢
Yeji🖤: 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚓𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚗𝚊𝚙𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚖𝚎
Jin☕️: 𝙶𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍
Irya🌸: 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚋! 📚✨

The randomness of it all makes you grin despite yourself. Trust Yeji to create a group chat solely for chaos and then pretend there's some grand purpose behind it.

Yeji🖤: 𝚜𝚘 𝚗𝚎𝚠𝚋𝚒𝚎
Yeji🖤: 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛
Yeji🖤:  𝚑𝚘𝚠'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗? 👀

Your fingers rest above the keyboard. You consider lying—saying everything's fine and you're totally thriving—but what's the point? Yeji seems to be the type to catch lies right away. 

You: 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚕 𝚞𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚜
Yeji🖤: 𝚑𝚘𝚝
Jin☕️: 𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚖 𝙸 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜?
Yeji🖤: 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢
Irya🌸: 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚊𝚍? 🥺
You: 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎. 𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚜.

You pause, debating how much to share. Because really, how do you explain that your annoying roommate is also the guy who gave you the best orgasm of your life, and now he's suggesting you do it again?

Yeji🖤: 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚊 𝚜𝚒𝚜
You: 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚝𝚎𝚊
Yeji🖤: 𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜
Yeji🖤: 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎
Irya🌸: 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖? 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚎𝚢! ✨
You: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚗𝚘. 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

You bite the inside of your cheek as you type that, because talking is definitely not what Jungkook had in mind earlier. And it's definitely not what you're thinking about now. Nope. Not at all.

The conversation continues, but your mind keeps drifting back to the bathroom. To his words. To the way his fingers felt against your skin.

Maybe instead of fighting it...

No. You shake your head, forcing yourself to focus on the group chat. On anything else.

You: 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢. 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚋 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚝?
Yeji🖤: 𝚘𝚖𝚐 𝚜𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐
Jin☕️: 𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎.
Irya🌸: 𝚘𝚘𝚑 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚎 & 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚓𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚎! 📖✨
Yeji🖤: 𝚊𝚋𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝
Yeji🖤: 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚢

Of course, she'd say that.

Jin☕️: 𝙸'𝚖 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗.

Jin☕️ left the group.
Yeji🖤 added Jin☕️ to the group.

You laugh out loud this time, shaking your head at their antics. It's ridiculous—and exactly what you needed right now. A distraction from everything else swirling around in your head.

Even if it's temporary. Even if you can still hear Jungkook's voice in your head, low and tempting:

"Could save us both a lot of trouble."

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

Chapter 7: rogue elements

Summary:

"It started with a thunderstorm and ended with surrender. And somewhere between the rain and his lips, you forgot why you were fighting this in the first place."

Notes:

✧ author's note ✧

Okay, yeah, I'm insane. I wrote 11k words of SpiderKook two days ago and posted it (didn't sleep, mind you, but I had to answer the call of MCU Marvel or something?? It was an emergency) and now here's like 10k-ish words of… two idiots fucking? Actually, it's more like 7k? The first 3k are them bantering, which is basically foreplay when they're involved… anyway, here you go ヽ(´▽`)ノ

Also, btw, to that anon that called me out on tagging :) this one has smut in it! So the #jungkook smut tag? Yeah, I hope it doesn't bother you this time (`∀´)Ψ

In my defense, I was possessed by the writing gods or something. Or maybe it was just my ADHD hyperfixation hitting at 5 AM while I was mainlining coffee like it was the elixir of life. Either way, here's 3k words of sexual tension and 7k of them actually doing something about it. The thunderstorm was a metaphor, I swear. I didn't just write it because rainy Jungkook is hot. That would be ridiculous. ( ̄ω ̄;)

And yes, I know what I'm doing with the gaming references. Listen, if you think I haven't spent unholy amounts of time playing Cyberpunk 2077, you'd be wrong. The Rogue reference? Yeah, that was absolutely intentional. Sue me. (Actually please don't, I can't afford a lawyer) ╮(︶▽︶)╭

Anyway, enjoy these two disaster humans finally doing something about all that tension! Though knowing them, they'll probably make it worse somehow. Because of course they will. They share one braincell and Griffin the cat has permanent custody of it (´∀`)♡

…I should probably sleep now.

(who am I kidding, I'm already writing the next chapter)

edit: small surprise at the end!

Chapter Text

visual of her pov :)

 

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

The problem with thunderstorms is that they don’t drown out the sound of assholes.

You sink deeper into the puff chair by the window, your knees drawn up to your chest, the cool glass against your shoulder doing nothing to soothe the irritation gnawing at your chest. Griffin purrs lazily beside you, a perfect orange ball of indifference. 

You wish you could take notes from him, but no—of course not. Because peace isn’t on the menu tonight, not with the rat-tat-tat of virtual gunfire ripping through the apartment and Jungkook’s voice following like nails down a chalkboard.

“Yeah, that’s right! Hold that L, you camping little bitch!”

A groan escapes you before you can stop it.

He doesn’t hear, too busy shouting into his headset like a man possessed. 

"Where the fuck are you? No—DON’T PUSH—oh my God, you dipshit.” 

There’s a loud thunk, likely his controller slamming against the coffee table, and you really, really want to throw something at his head. Badly. 

Because, of course, Jungkook isn’t just playing video games. He’s playing loudly—his voice carrying over the rain in sharp bursts of frustration. The bastard’s lucky Yoongi isn’t home. That coffee table is sacred ground.

You glance at Griffin, who blinks slowly at you, as if to say you could end this.

And you could.

It’s been thirty minutes of this. Thirty minutes of him stomping around the living room, calling strangers on the internet the kind of names that would make even Yeji wince. He’s sprawled across the couch like he’s fucking Madonna or something—one leg dangling off the side, the other bent at the knee, his stupid socked foot pressed against the cushion you claimed as yours when you moved in.

And the worst part? It’s not even his console.

No, that sleek black PlayStation hooked up to the TV belongs to Yoongi, who made it very clear during the move-in period that it’s off-limits unless you ask first. But Jungkook? Jungkook doesn’t ask. Jungkook takes.

Jungkook is a bitch

Griffin stretches out a paw lazily, swiping at the air as you fight the urge to say something. Anything. Except you don’t. Because if you do, you know exactly how this will go.

You’ll point out, very calmly, that he’s breaking house rules. He’ll smirk, say something infuriating like “ What are you gonna do about it, Phoenix? ” and then you’ll spiral into one of those arguments where you end up hurling something solid and he ends up smirking like he won.

Not this time. You breathe in deeply through your nose, fingers curling into the hem of your sweater. Calm. Composure. You can survive this.

Until: “OH, GET FUCKED!”

That’s it.

You twist around in your seat, scowling. “Do you have to be this loud?”

Jungkook barely spares you a glance, his fingers flying over the controller. “What?”

“I said,” you grit out, enunciating each word carefully, “Do. You. Have. To. Be. This. Loud?”

“Yeah, probably.” His lips curl, a smirk creeping across his face as he scores another kill or capture or whatever the hell happens in Call of Duty. “It’s called strategy, Phoenix. You wouldn’t get it.”

“Oh, please.” You stand up now, Griffin leaping off the puff with an annoyed chirp. “What’s strategic about screaming at a screen like a toddler on Red Bull?”

“I’m communicating,” he shoots back, not missing a beat. “Teamwork makes the dream work, babe.”

He did not just call you babe. 

God, this fucking man. 

“You’re an idiot.”

“And you’re distracting me,” he says, still not looking at you, his thumbs mashing buttons like his life depends on it. “What, jealous you can’t play?”

“Jealous?” You scoff, crossing your arms. “I wouldn’t touch that thing if you paid me.”

“That’s a shame,” he says with a faux sigh, finally leaning back against the couch. He looks up at you, all dark eyes and devilish smirk, like he knows exactly what he’s doing. “I bet you’d suck at it anyway.”

You let out a disbelieving laugh, your hands going to your hips as you glare at him. “What—because I’m a girl?”

Jungkook snorts, his smirk growing into something insufferable as he shakes his head. “Nope. It’s because you do nothing but scroll through TikTok and read all day.”

Your jaw drops, indignation flaring in your esophagus, burning and acidic. “I’ll have you know,” you start, voice sharp, “I don’t just scroll TikTok. I do plenty of other things.”

“Oh yeah?” He tilts his head, mock curiosity painting his expression. “Like what? Enlighten me, Phoenix.”

You narrow your eyes, bristling at the stupid nickname. 

“Like… looking for a job. Studying. Having actual hobbies. Unlike you, who spends every waking moment yelling at teenage boys on the internet.”

“Teenagers who actually know how to play,” he fires back, shrugging like your insult doesn’t even register. “Unlike someone who probably can’t tell the difference between a joystick and a fucking D-pad.”

“Joystick?” you repeat. “What is this, 2005? God, no wonder you’re single.”

His smirk doesn’t falter, and somehow, that only pisses you off more. He leans forward now, almost like he’s trying to force himself into the game or something. 

“Who says I’m single?”

“You look like you’re single.” 

“And you look like you’re about to combust,” he drawls, grimace twisting his lips. “Maybe if you stopped trying to be quirky looking through the window, you wouldn’t feel the need to pick fights you can’t win.”

You scoff, crossing your arms tighter over your chest. “I’m not picking a fight. I’m pointing out that you’re a hypocritical, overgrown man-child who thinks his shitty aim is a personality trait.”

Shitty aim?” He leans back, mouth slightly ajar. “Wow, okay, now you’re just talking out of your ass.”

“You’re right,” you shoot back quickly. “It’s probably worse than shitty .”

He laughs at that—an infuriating, genuine laugh that you shouldn’t find hot but you kind of do and fuck if that doesn’t make you inwardly wince. 

“Cute,” he says, shaking his head as if you’re the one being ridiculous.

“Stop calling me that,” you snap, arms over your chest. 

“What? Cute?” His grin widens, dimples on full display as he sits up straighter, and it’s clear he’s loving how riled up you are.

“No,” you say, voice firm. “Phoenix.”

Jungkook tilts his head, considering for two beats of silence before he opens his mouth again. “Why not? It suits you. All fiery and ready to burst into flames every time someone says something you don’t like.”

“You’re so goddamn annoying,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “Always poking, always pushing. It’s like you live for being a pain in everyone’s ass.”

“Nah,” his smirk deepens, and it’s unbearable. “Just yours, Phoenix. You make it fun.”

“Jesus Christ.” You throw your hands up, glaring at him like you’re trying to set him on fire with sheer willpower. “You’re such a rogue .”

The adjective leaves your lips without much thought. It’s not deliberate, really. But it fits, and if it cuts? Even better. Maybe it does, if the way Jungkook’s head jerks back is any indication. 

Rogue ?” he echoes, like you’ve just handed him a challenge. “Haven’t heard that one before.”

“Yeah, well,” you snarl. “Fits your whole vibe. All selfish smirks and reckless bullshit. Like the rules don’t apply to you.”

Jungkook’s lips curl into a scornful smile, his thumbs flying over the controller as the sound of gunfire fills the room. 

“You know what? I’ll take it. Rogue from Cyberpunk 2077" He glances at you, smug as ever. “That’s sick, actually.”

Your eye twitches. “No, you dumb fuck . Not like her .”

He pauses just long enough to raise a brow at you, genuine surprise flickering across his face. 

“Wait, you know who Rogue is?”

“Yeah,” you respond. “What, you think I live under a rock?”

There’s a beat of silence before his mouth stretches into an absolutely shit-eating grin. 

“Okay, gamer girl,” he says mockingly, drawing out the syllables like he’s trying to rile you up. Spoiler alert: it’s working.

“Don’t call me that,” you snap, narrowing your eyes at him.

“What?” He shrugs, that infuriating grin still plastered across his face. “I’m just surprised. You look more like you spend twelve hours a day watching cat videos and scrolling TikTok.”

“What, so only people with dicks can play video games, is that it?”

“No—” he cuts in quickly, lowering the controller just enough to give you a half-serious look. “That’s not what I meant. I know plenty of women play. It’s more that you don’t exactly scream gamer energy, Phoenix. Like, come on, tell me I’m wrong.”

“You are,” you shoot back immediately. “For your information, I’ve played Cyberpunk.”

Jungkook blinks, processing this, and then snorts. “You’ve played Cyberpunk?”

“What, you need me to name five characters and their last names to prove it or something?” You already anticipate whatever stupid comment he’s about to make.

He raises his eyebrows, and he leans back further into the couch. “Nah, I’ll take your word for it, gamer girl.”

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Not a chance.” He tilts his head toward the screen, his fingers returning to the controls as the grin returns to his face. “You probably play like… the easiest settings, huh?”

You scoff, because who does he think he is? All condescending and stupid smiles? “You’re such a dumbass.”

“And yet,” he says, his voice rising with the sound of an explosion on the screen, “I’m the dumbass who’s about to go crimson rank. Watch this.”

The next few seconds are a blur of gunfire and chaos, and, to your utter dismay, he somehow pulls off a ridiculous no-scope kill that even you have to admit is kind of impressive.

“Boom,” he says, leaning back with a self-satisfied smirk. “I’m the shit.”

You roll your eyes, refusing to give him the satisfaction. “Congratulations, you’re the king of the virtual world. Must be exhausting being this lame all the time.”

“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Phoenix,” he says without missing a beat, his gaze flicking to you for half a second before he dives back into the game.

“Whatever, Rogue,” you mutter under your breath as he laughs softly, the sound irritatingly warm in the rain-filled room.

The silence is louder than the rain.  

You sit back in your chair, fingers twitching where they rest against your knees, Griffin’s soft purr barely registering as your mind spins. The words Emma threw at you earlier won’t leave you alone, circling like vultures over a carcass you’d rather not examine.  

“You’re already miserable. Might as well fuck the clit guy."

And worse, Jungkook’s low, almost careless suggestion from the bathroom keeps replaying in your head like a loop you can’t pause: “ Maybe instead of fighting it… we just let it happen.”

The audacity of him. The sheer nerve. Except…  

Except you’ve thought about it. More than you’d like to admit.  

You bite the inside of your cheek, glaring out at the rain streaking down the window as if it can somehow distract you from the heat rising in your chest. The memory is hazy—foggy edges softened by alcohol and adrenaline and the bad lighting of Emma’s old apartment—but the details that do surface? They’re not helping.  

His hands. His mouth. The way he moved, like he knew exactly what to do without you needing to ask. And you remember the way he’d looked at you afterward—satisfied, like he’d known you’d replay it in your head for days after.  

God, you hate him.  

But the memory’s there anyway, sticky and undeniable, and now there’s this proposal hanging between you.  

Should you? Could you?  

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, your gaze catching on the long line of his legs sprawled out on the couch, the casual way his fingers flick the controller buttons. He’s not that focused on the game anymore—probably already won the ranked he was playing moments ago and now he’s just chilling.

Would it really be that bad? He’s already insufferable; it’s not like that would change. And the sex was good. From what you can recall, it was really good. Like, better than anything else good.  

God, what’s wrong with you? Why are you even entertaining this?  

Because you haven’t been touched in months? Because his voice gets under your skin in ways you hate but can’t ignore? Because deep down, there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to fight him all the time anymore—at least, not like this ?  

You let out a long sigh, frustration bubbling in your chest as you wrestle with yourself. You don’t even know what you’d say if you brought it up. What, just casually suggest fucking your roommate again, like it’s a normal thing people do? No big deal, Jungkook, just wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking about it—

"Jungkook," you say before you can stop yourself, standing up.  

He doesn’t look up immediately, his attention still half on the game. "Mhm?"  

You hesitate, your pulse stuttering against your ribs. But then you force the words out, sharp and decisive. "I’ve thought about it."  

There’s a beat of silence. Then another.  

Slowly, he shifts, the tension in his posture breaking as he sets the controller down on the coffee table with an ease that feels calculated. Deliberate . He straightens, turning to look at you fully, and his gaze is heavy. Opaque. Cuts through the dim light into yours like a blade.  

"Yeah?" His voice is raspier now, lower than it was a second ago.  

You nod, throat dry.  

His eyes flicker over your face, reading you in that infuriating way he does, like he can see past everything you try to hide. He takes his time—of course he does—before he finally stands, rolling his shoulders like he’s shaking off whatever was left of his concentration on the game.  

He’s wearing gray sweatpants and a matching hoodie, your brain registers now. And you hate how unfairly good he looks in it. Hate that you notice the way the fabric hangs on his frame, how it stretches across his chest, clings to his thighs.  

"Thought about it, huh?" he says, his tone softer now but no less teasing.  

You swallow hard, the air between you suddenly prickly. "Yeah."  

He tilts his head, studying you for a moment longer, and then— then —he smirks. That slow, maddening curl of his lips that has you holding back a stupid breath like he’s robbing all the oxygen in the room. 

His eyes are hooded now. Dark. Glinting with something promising and ominous at the same time. He steps closer, close enough that you can feel the warmth oozing off him. 

"And what," he murmurs,, "did you think about?"  

The weight of his attention lands squarely on you, and for some reason you don’t know how to act. Because it’s different. So different from your usual dynamics. 

"I…" You clear your throat, cursing yourself for the crack in your voice. "I don’t know."  

"You don’t know?" His brows raise, and he huffs out a soft, amused laugh. "Come on, Phoenix. You just said you’ve thought about it."  

He takes another step forward, and instinctively, you lean back, your shoulders hitting the cool glass of the window. Jungkook notices, smirk widening as he basically cages you in without even touching you.  

"Was it me?" he asks, voice dropping into something lower, rougher. "Did you think about me ? Between your thighs again?"  

Your breath catches.  

There’s something so heavy in the way he looks at you, like he already knows the answer but wants to hear you say it anyway. Wants you to admit it.  

"I—" Your voice falters, pulse hammering in your ears. "I didn’t say that."  

"Didn’t have to," he drawls, leaning just a fraction closer, and his voice sounds and feels like velvet. "I can see it all over your face."  

"You’re so full of yourself," you manage, but it comes out weaker than you’d like.  

"Maybe," he says, his breath warm against your lips, "but I’m not wrong."  

Your heart is in your throat, your palms clammy where they’re pressed against the window behind you. And suddenly all of the warmth in the room feels tangible, like it’s pulling you into him. 

"Tell me, what were you thinking about, Phoenix?"  

You force yourself to meet his eyes, though it feels like stepping into a storm. 

“I… I don’t know.”

Jungkook’s head tilts. He observes you. Catalogues your microexpressions, your tiny tells.

“I think you do," he says. "Was it my fingers?"  

You avoid his gaze.  

"Or my mouth?" he’s relentless. "Did you think about the way I made you come, Phoenix? How good it felt?"  

"Jungkook," you warn, but there’s no weight to it, not really. Especially not when your thighs press together instinctively.

He notices, of course he does, and his smirk returns in full force. 

"Yeah," he breathes, his hand lifting now to brush a stray strand of hair from your face. His fingers linger, barely grazing your skin as they trail down to your jaw. "You thought about it."  

Your eyes drop to his lips.

It’s not intentional. At least, not at first. But the way he’s looking at you—dark eyes loaded and heavy like they could swallow you whole—makes it impossible not to. The memory of his mouth on yours, of how it felt that night, crashes into you like a wave, and suddenly, you’re drowning in it.  

Yeah. Yeah, you’ve thought about it.  

You’ve thought about those lips on yours. On your skin. Thought about the way they felt that night—hot, urgent, consuming—and how they’d left you trembling, gasping for air and wanting more.

You remember. You remember perfectly. His mouth descending down your neck. His teeth grazing your collarbone. The way he’d whispered your name like it was a secret only he was allowed to know.

And now he’s here, close enough that you can feel his breath on your cheek, warm and steady. Close enough that if you just leaned in—just a little—you could—

Yeah ,” you murmur, your voice barely audible. “Yeah, I’ve thought about it.”

His eyes darken instantly, 

“Atta girl.”

And then he kisses you.

It’s not gentle. It’s not tentative or hesitant or any of the things it probably should be. It’s rough and savage and everything you remember from that night—and more.

His lips crash against yours with a hunger that steals your breath, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. The glass of the window is cold against your back, but all you can feel is him—his warmth, his strength, the way his body presses into yours like he can’t get close enough.

You gasp against his mouth as his hands slide up your sides, fingers curling into the fabric of your sweater like he’s trying to anchor himself to you. He takes advantage of the sound, deepening the kiss with a low growl that makes your stomach flutter. 

It’s overwhelming—the taste of him, the heat of his skin, how much warmer his body seems to run—but you don’t pull away. You can’t. Not when his lips are moving against yours like this is something he’s been waiting for. Something he needs as much as you do.

Your hands find their way to his hoodie, clutching at the soft fabric as if it’ll keep you grounded. But it doesn’t. Nothing does. Not when his tongue brushes against yours in a way that makes your knees weak. Not when his teeth catch on your bottom lip just hard enough to make you gasp again.

He pulls back slightly then, just enough to meet your gaze. His eyes are dark and hooded, his lips swollen and slick from kissing you. And fuck if he doesn’t look even better like this—disheveled and desperate and entirely too smug.

“Still thinking about it?” 

You don’t answer—not with words anyway. Instead, you grab the front of his hoodie and pull him back down to you, crashing your lips against his in a kiss that’s just as messy and desperate as before.

Because yeah—you’ve thought about it.

And now? Now you’re done thinking.

Jesus fuck, kissing him is like getting swept up in a riptide—there's no stopping it, no controlling it. It's an unstoppable force crashing into you, dragging you under, and all you can do is give in or drown fighting it.  

Is that a bad metaphor? Probably. Look, you're not at your most poetic when Jungkook's tongue is in your mouth, okay? 

Point is, he kisses like he does everything else—intensely, greedily, like he'll die if he doesn't take exactly what he wants. And yeah, you know you should push him away, should stop this before it spirals even further out of control. But you don't. You can't. Not when he's pulling you in like this, one hand gripping your hip while the other creeps up your ribcage.

"Off," you gasp against his lips, tugging impatiently at his hoodie. "Take it off."

He huffs a laugh into your mouth, but complies, leaning back just enough to yank the sweatshirt over his head in one smooth motion. And of fucking course he's not wearing anything underneath, because why would he be?  

Jungkook tosses the hoodie aside carelessly, letting it land wherever as he crowds back into your space, all golden skin and inky patterns. 

"God," he breathes, pupils blown wide. "Been wanting to do this again since that night." 

Right. That night. January. The best fuck of your life that you've been trying and failing not to think about ever since.

A disbelieving little chuckle slips out of you. "Down bad, huh?"

"Like you haven't been." 

Well fuck, he's got you there. It's infuriating how easily he sees through your bullshit. Reads you like an open book he's already dog-eared to hell.

And then his hand is under your shirt, rough fingertips skimming over your stomach before cupping your breast through your bra. 

You swallow back a yelp at the suddenness of it, the drag of lace against nerve-laden skin. Fuck. Fuck . This is escalating way too fast, spinning out of control, but your body doesn't seem to care—it just arches into his touch, asks for more .

"See?" he purrs, thumb flicking over your nipple. "Knew it." 

Oh, screw him. Screw him and his stupid cockiness, his stupid hands, his stupid fucking abs. Fire unfurls in your chest, indignant and insistent, and before you can second-guess it, your palm is pressed against the front of his sweatpants.

His hips jerk forward at the contact and he hisses out a breath between his teeth, eyes flashing. Yeah. Not so smug now, is he?

You squeeze lightly, feeling him twitch against your hand, already half-hard and stretching the fabric. A little thrill zips down your spine at the proof of just how much he wants this, wants you , and your lips curve into a smirk of your own.

"You were saying?" you drawl.

His eyes narrow, but there's no anger behind it. If anything, he looks even more turned on, gaze heavy and half-lidded as it drags over you. 

" You ," he says, voice low and gravelly, "are such a nasty little thing."

Your smirk sharpens. "Mhm? What you gonna do about it?"

He scoffs, a low, throaty sound that vibrates against your chest, and before you can blink, he's crowding you back against the window. 

"Gonna show you," he murmurs, voice rough and heated. "Make you take it like you did that night."  

And okay, yeah. Maybe that night flashes through your head at his words. Maybe you remember in vivid detail how he had you up against the wall, thigh between your legs as he marked up your neck. Maybe your clit throbs at the memory of how deep he fucked into you, how he growled in your ear that you were taking his cock so well...

Fuck. Focus .

Your head tilts back before you can stop it, baring your throat like some kind of offering, and Jungkook doesn't hesitate. He takes the bait—teeth grazing the delicate skin of your neck before biting down just hard enough to make your breath hitch.  

You bite your lip to keep the sound in, but he notices anyway. Of course he does. His fingers tighten on your nipple, rolling it between toughened pads until you're holding back a moan.  

"None of that," he mutters against your neck, his tongue flattening over the mark he just left. "Wanna hear you. Missed those pretty sounds."  

You want to tell him to fuck off—really, you do. Who the hell does he think he is? Magic Mike? But the words don't come because your brain is officially mush now, melted into a useless puddle under the weight of his mouth and hands and fuck .  

Instead, what comes out is a whimper . A pathetic little sound that makes heat crawl up your neck in embarrassment even as it escapes.  

And Jungkook? Oh, he fucking loves it. You can feel it in the way his smile curves against your skin, smug and satisfied and so goddamn infuriating you could scream if you weren't already gasping for air.  

His lips trail up toward your jaw, slow and sensual, leaving wet kisses in their wake until they find their way back to yours. He doesn't waste time—doesn't ask or hesitate or do anything remotely polite about it—just crashes into you like he's starving for it all over again.  

It's just like that night and nothing like it at all. There's the same ferocity, the same undiluted need . But there's familiarity now too. A sense of knowing each other's bodies, each other's reactions. He already knows how to angle his head to deepen the kiss, knows that dragging his teeth over your bottom lip makes you shudder, knows that you like just a hint of pain with your pleasure. 

It's dangerous, that knowing.

Then he's tugging at your sweater, impatient as always because God forbid Jungkook ever asks for anything like a normal person. No words—just rough fingers curling into the hem and yanking upward like it's somehow offended him by existing on your body for this long.  

You don't wait for him to figure it out either because honestly ? You don't care right now—not with his hands branding heat into your skin and his mouth writing goddamn symphonies on every inch of you it can reach. You pull the sweater off yourself in one quick motion, tossing it somewhere behind him without a second thought.

The cool air hits your skin immediately, but any chill is obliterated by Jungkook's hands sliding up your sides again—warm and firm and so fucking sure of themselves it makes you dizzy. His thumbs brush just under the band of your bra as he pulls back slightly to look at you, dark eyes raking over every inch of exposed skin like he's trying to memorize it.

" Fuck ," he breathes out finally, almost like an afterthought.

You should say something snarky—should call him out for being so cliché or make fun of how breathless he sounds—but all that comes out is another shaky exhale as his fingers dip under the lace.

Because yeah… You're gone now.

And judging by the way Jungkook's smirk returns in full force as his hands slide higher? He knows it too.

He gives your nipple a quick squeeze, his thumb brushing over the peak one last time before his hand slides around to your back. There's a pause—barely a second—but you know what's coming, and sure enough— with one swift movement, he unhooks your bra like it's child's play.  

And now… now your torso is completely bare.  

Before him.  

Jungkook.  

Your roommate. 

Your stupid, annoying roommate. The same guy you fucked back in January when you were both too drunk to realize what a horrible idea it was. The same guy who wrecked you so thoroughly your legs shook for hours after, who made you come on his cock so hard you saw stars, who somehow managed to ruin you for anyone else before you even knew his name.

Fuck. Why did you let yourself get into this position again?

But then his mouth is on you—no hesitation, no waiting around to admire or tease or whatever else guys like him usually do. He just dips down like he's been famished for this single breath of time, hot lips wrapping around your nipple as his tongue flicks over it in one smooth motion.  

Oh.  

Oh, that's why.  

Your fingers find his hair immediately, tangling into the soft strands without a second thought. You pull—not hard, just enough to get a reaction—and he rumbles against you in approval, the vibration shooting straight through your chest and landing somewhere between your thighs.  

It's almost too much already—the heat of his mouth, the scrape of his teeth when he bites down just enough to make you gasp—but somehow not enough all at once. Your body curves toward him instinctively, chasing more, that feeling, that him

And it's then—right as he switches to your other breast without missing a beat—that you notice it.  

He smells like rain .  

It's faint at first, barely there under the heady mix of sweat and skin and whatever cologne he probably spritzed on this morning. But it lingers anyway, clinging to him like the thunderstorm raging outside has fused itself into his skin somehow—like it wants you to notice every little detail about him and commit it to memory for reasons you don't even want to think about right now.

Not that you could think if you tried—not with the way his tongue circles your nipple before sucking it back into his mouth like he's trying to ruin you from the inside out.  

"Fuck," you breathe out before you can stop yourself, your voice embarrassingly shaky as your nails scrape lightly against his scalp.

He hums again at that—low and satisfied—and pulls back just enough to glance up at you through dark lashes. His lips are slick now, swollen and glistening in the dim light filtering through the window behind you, and the sight of him like this? It's hot. Way more than it has any right to be.

"Feel good?" he asks, like he doesn't already know the answer. Like he can't feel the way your body responds to his every touch, every graze of teeth and flick of tongue.

You reach for words sharp enough to cut, to carve that arrogance clean off his face, but all that falls from your lips is a breath—fragile, trembling—as his hands drag down your sides, their warmth sinking into your skin like ink into paper.

"Thought so," he murmurs before dipping back down as if he's got all the time in the world to drive you completely insane.

And honestly? He might succeed.

He's fully hard now. You can feel it—how could you not? It's impossible to miss, thick and basically pulsing against your thigh like it's got its own goddamn heartbeat. And okay, yeah, maybe you're a little impressed (annoyingly so), but you're definitely not about to let him know that.  

Not when he's still ignoring it completely, like the fact that he's rock-hard and pressed up against you doesn't even register. No, he's too busy lavishing attention on your chest, his mouth still working over your nipple like it's his sole purpose in life.  

And maybe it is. Maybe that's what's getting him off right now—your pleasure, the way your body fuses into his like it's second nature, the soft noises slipping out of your throat no matter how hard you try to bite them back.  

It's… kind of hot, actually .  

Hot enough that you want to give something back.  

Your hand slides down without much thought, fingers curling around the outline of his clothed erection. The reaction is immediate—his mouth stutters against your bud for a split second, a quiet, throaty rumble that matches the instinctive movement of his hips. 

He looks up at you then, tongue peeking out to wet the corner of his mouth, and the sight alone snakes through you, sharp and molten.

"Take these off," you say, voice sharper than intended because Jesus Christ, how is he still wearing pants right now?  

His brows lift slightly, and then he grins—slow and smug and so fucking infuriating you almost regret touching him at all. 

"Already? My God, Nix, you're needy, huh?"  

Motherfucker

You glare at him, grip tightening just enough to make him hiss through his teeth. 

"No," you snap back, "it's just that your cock is literally beating against my leg and it's pissing me off."

That earns you a snort—a full-on laugh that makes his shoulders shake as he leans in closer, forehead nearly brushing yours. 

" Sure ," he says, voice low and amused as hell. "That's what it is."  

Before you can fire back with something appropriately scathing, his hand disappears from your hip—and then reappears holding something small and square and very fucking familiar.

A condom .

From his sweatpants pocket.

You blink at it for a second—just one second—and then the realization hits like a tornado.

"You had a condom in your sweats ?" Your voice pitches higher than you'd like, disbelief coloring every single word.

Jungkook shrugs like this is completely normal behavior and not absolutely unhinged. "Knew you'd come around eventually."

Oh. Oh, you want to strangle him. Right here, right now.

You blink at him, incredulous. "You're kidding."  

He shrugs one shoulder, still grinning like the absolute menace he is. "I mean… today was perfect." He pauses for effect, letting the words hang in the air before adding with a little more emphasis: " Is perfect."  

Your eye twitches. "What does that even mean?"  

"It means Yoongi's not gonna come home for another forty-five minutes," Jungkook explains easily, rolling the condom between his fingers like it's no big deal. "Knew we'd be home alone."  

Oh my god. He did plan this.

"I hate you," you exhale sharply, glaring at him with all the force you can muster while half-naked and pressed against a window with his dick still hard against your thigh.

He leans in closer then—close enough that his breath brushes against your lips as he smirks down at you with that same cocky glint in his eyes that drives you absolutely insane.

"Say that again when I'm inside you," he murmurs.

And yeah… You hate him.

But also? You really fucking don't .

Because the truth is, you've been thinking about him inside you since that first night. Craving the stretch, the fullness, the way he seems to know your body better than you do. It's infuriating and intoxicating in equal measure, and right now? With the scent of rain clinging to his skin and the taste of him still on your tongue?

You want him so badly it hurts .

He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging them down just enough to reveal the band of his briefs. Of course, of course the asshole wears Calvin Kleins. Because why wouldn't he? He looks like he could model for them—like he's about to step onto a black-and-white billboard in Times Square and ruin someone's day with that stupid, perfect body.  

But he doesn't take the pants off completely. Nope. That would be too simple, too straightforward for someone like Jungkook. Instead, he pulls himself out, his cock jutting forward like it's making some kind of grand entrance.  

And okay. You try not to choke on your own breath, but it's a struggle because… yeah. That's a nice cock. Thick, flushed at the tip, curving slightly upward like it's been sculpted by some pervy Greek god with way too much time on their hands.  

When did you ever think cocks were pretty? God, where the fuck is your mind right now?  

He rolls the condom on with practiced ease— too practiced , honestly—and then looks up at you, tilting his head like he's about to deliver some earth-shattering revelation instead of being the most irritating person alive.  

"You know," he says, tugging lightly at the waistband of your leggings, "you gotta take these off too for this to work, right?"  

How can someone be so fucking annoying and so fucking attractive at the same time? The contradiction that is Jungkook has your brain doing backflips, and all you can do is stare at him for a second, trying to figure out how you got here—how you're half-naked in front of your roommate while he's standing there looking like sin incarnate with his cock out.  

Your tongue pokes at the underside of your lip as you narrow your eyes at him. 

" You take them off."  

His brows lift slightly, and then that smirk— that smirk—is back in full force as he leans closer. 

" Me ?"  

"Yeah," you snap, crossing your arms over your chest like it'll somehow make you feel less exposed. "You deaf? Yeah."  

He chuckles low in his throat, shaking his head like you've just told him something amusing instead of issuing a challenge. 

"Making me work for it, huh?"  

You don't answer—not verbally anyway—but the sharp raise of your brow says enough. If he wants this so bad, he can damn well put in some effort.  

Then his hands are on your hips again, sliding down to hook into the waistband of your leggings. His fingers brush against your skin as he tugs them down slowly— too slowly —and you swear he's doing it on purpose just to rile you up further.

And yeah… it's working .

You swat his hand away, glaring at him like he's the absolute bane of your existence. And honestly? He is.

“I'll do it myself," you snap, tugging your leggings down in one quick motion and kicking them off with more force than necessary.  

Because fuck him, honestly. Not in the current way. In the mean way. The you're insufferable and I hate you way.  

But Jungkook doesn't give you even a second to feel smug about reclaiming control. No, the second your leggings hit the floor, his hands are on you again—gripping your thighs and hooking them around his waist as he presses you back against the window with a force that knocks the breath out of you both.  

The cold glass bites into your skin, but it's nothing compared to the heat of him—his chest against yours, his hands digging into your thighs like he's afraid you'll slip away. And then his mouth—his fucking sinful mouth—is back on your neck, hot and wet and relentless as he sucks and licks at the delicate skin there like he's trying to drown himself in it.  

"God," he groans against your throat, his voice low and wrecked in a way that unravels in a rush, seeping into your nerves. "You still smell like fuckin' vanilla. How's that shit—" He pauses just long enough to drag his tongue along the curve of your neck, slow and deliberate. "How's that still all over you?"  

Your teeth sink into your lower lip at his words, heat blossoming in your chest, because fuck, you didn't think he'd remember that. Didn't think he'd still associate that scent with you, with that night .

"Dunno," you manage to gasp out, hating how breathy you sound but unable to control it. "Maybe your nose... just wants to remember it."

He huffs against your skin, the sound somewhere between a laugh and a groan. "Maybe I just wanna fuck the memory into you."

Jesus Christ .

Your fingers tighten in his hair involuntarily, tugging hard enough to make him hiss. He retaliates by nipping at your throat, teeth grazing over your racing pulse.

"Gonna fuck you against the window," he murmurs, voice dropping an octave lower as his hips press forward just enough for you to feel him—hot and hard and perfectly lined up against you now. "Mhm? Ruin you for anyone else all over again. Want that?”  

You want to tell him no just out of spite, but then he rolls his hips again—slow and way too good —and whatever snarky retort you had dies on your tongue as a gasp escapes instead.

"Yeah," Jungkook breathes, grinning against your skin like he knows exactly what kind of effect he's having on you. "Knew you'd like that idea." His teeth graze your jaw now, nipping lightly before soothing the spot with his tongue. "Gonna make you feel so fucking good, Nix. Gonna make you forget what year it is."  

Instinct guides your fingers into his hair, tugging hard enough to pull a rough groan from him—one that hums against your neck and tears through you like a strike of lightning.

"Bet you've been thinking about this," he continues, his voice jagged as he shifts slightly to line himself up properly. "Bet you've been lying awake at night wishing I'd fuck you like this again."  

"Shut up," you manage to snap back finally, though it lacks any fervor as your nails dig into his scalp. 

That smug laugh slips out, soft but cutting, and when he lifts his head, those dark eyes of his hook onto yours, daring, taunting .

 "Make me."  

And then he's pushing into you—slowly at first, letting you feel every inch of him stretch and fill you until there's no space left between your bodies. The comeback you had ready never makes it out, lost to the wreckage of a moan as pleasure breaks over you, raw and untamed, and leaving you utterly breathless.

Yeah… You're definitely not making him shut up anytime soon.

He stills inside you—thick and hot and good —letting you adjust as his chin drops to your shoulder. His breath comes out in short, heavy puffs against your skin, and for a second, just a second, it's almost perfect.

And then: "Fuck yeah, just like January."

Jesus fucking Christ. Can he shut up? Like, genuinely? Why does he sound like he's narrating a porno? You'd smack him if you weren't currently, you know, full of his dick.

Your head thunks back against the window as you try not to laugh—or cry, honestly both feel appropriate right now. Because of course this is how it's going. Of course Jungkook can't just fuck you without running his mouth.

"You're so—" you start, but then he shifts slightly, and whatever insult you had lined up dissolves into a sharp inhale.

"So what?" he mumbles against your neck, and you can feel him grinning like the smug bastard he is. "Amazing? Unforgettable? Best you've ever had?"

"Annoying," you manage to grit out, even as your thighs tighten around his waist. "You're so fucking annoying."

He laughs at that—an actual laugh that you feel more than hear—and pulls back just enough to look at you properly. His hair is a mess from your hands, pupils blown so wide there's barely any iris visible, and there's something so stupidly boyish about his expression that it tugs at your stomach in a way you stubbornly ignore. 

"Yeah?" His hips roll forward slightly—not quite thrusting, just testing —and your breath catches in your throat. "Still annoying?"

You want to say yes. You should say yes. But then he does it again, and all that comes out is a shaky exhale as your hands move to grip his shoulders.

His grin widens, eyes glinting with something like triumph. "That's what I thought."

Shut up, you want to say. Shut up shut up shut up.

But you don't. Because then he's moving—fingers digging in just enough to ground you before he pulls out completely—and then slides back in with one smooth thrust that has your breath catching in your throat. It's deep, but... careful? Like he's actually paying attention to how your body responds, waiting for you to properly mold around him instead of just slamming in like some kind of jackrabbit on speed.

It's annoying, honestly. How can someone so absolutely hateable have this much attention to detail? God really said " Here, enjoy the whiplash this dude's gonna give you " and called it a day. She's mean like that.

But then your trail of thought dissolves completely because his mouth is back on your neck, hot and wet and perfect, and your legs wrap tighter around him almost instinctively, pulling him deeper. 

"Fuck, forgot how good you feel," he pants against your neck, his voice strained like he's barely holding it together. "Could fuck this pussy all goddamn night. You want that, Phoenix? Want me to stay buried inside you 'til sunrise?"

You don’t answer his question. Don't have to. He can feel you clenching around him. He knows—he goddamn knows.

"Yeah, you do." It's not a question this time, just a breathy statement loaded with arrogance and dark satisfaction. "Gonna ruin this cunt tonight. Fucking mark you up, inside and out. Mngh... make you smell like me the way you made me smell like your fuckin' vanilla shit for days."

Vanilla again. Your body lotion, maybe. The one you definitely didn't buy because it was on sale and not at all because you remembered him complimenting that scent on you back on January. 

Nope. Pure coincidence.

Then his fingers find your clit and—yep. He still knows exactly where it is, like he's got some kind of built-in GPS for your pleasure spots. Fucking stupid ass perfect fucker. Why can’t the powers that may be let you hate him in peace? 

"Still sensitive here?" he asks, circling the bundle of nerves experimentally as his hips maintain that steady, deep rhythm. "Bet you are. Bet you've been thinking about my fingers."

You want to deny it, but then he applies just the right amount of pressure and your head lolls back. 

“Shut up," you manage to gasp out instead.

He grins against your collarbone—you can feel it, how the corners of his lips tug upwards—and picks up his pace slightly. 

"Make me, Phoenix. Come on my cock and maybe I will."

Your nails dig into his shoulders at that, probably leaving crescents, but he just groans like he loves it. Like he wants you to mark him up.

"That's it," he breathes, his thumb working faster now as his thrusts get deeper. "Fuck, you feel good. Wrapping around my cock like that.”

And really, who gave him the right to be this good at multitasking? It's unfair. It's criminal. It's—

"Oh fuck," you whimper as he hits just the right spot, your whole body tensing.

His answer is breathless and way too pleased with itself. "Yeah? Right there?"

Yeah, he's definitely got a mission now. That thing about you coming on his cock? Not just dirty talk—he's one hundred percent serious about it, if the way he's working your body is any indication. His thrusts get deeper, more purposeful, as his fingers work your clit in perfect sync like he's conducting some kind of fucked up orchestra.

And god, you wish he was bad at this. You really wish January had just been a lucky shot for him—some cosmic alignment that made him accidentally good at fucking. Then you could finish this, look him dead in the eye, and be like "yeah, you aren't all that" before breaking his ego and his skull and laughing about it later.

But no. No, because God and destiny are clearly besties or something and they've decided you're their favorite source of entertainment. So instead of being mediocre, Jungkook is—fuck—he's hitting that spot inside you with devastating accuracy while his thumb draws tight circles on your clit and his mouth leaves marks on your neck that you'll definitely hate him for tomorrow.

"Gonna come for me?" he pants against your skin, and the worst part is how fucking earnest he sounds about it. Like making you fall apart is his new favorite hobby. "Come on, Nix. Know you're close. Can feel you squeezing my cock."

Your response is a broken moan because yeah, you are close. Embarrassingly close. His cock is stretching you perfectly, his fingers are pure magic, and the way he's got you pinned against this window is doing things to your brain that you'll definitely need therapy for later.

"That's it," he urges, voice raw, like gravel over glass. "Fuckin' soak my cock, Phoenix."

And like the bastard has a direct line to your central nervous system, you do.

It consumes you whole and you don’t know if it’s his voice or the fucking nickname being moaned out like that. But then there’s pleasure crashing through you in waves as your body locks up around him. Your nails scratch down his back, probably drawing blood, but you're too far gone to care as you clench around his cock, trembling and gasping against his mouth.

"Fuck—oh fuck, fuck, fuck—" The words spill out of you like a confession, something raw and unbidden that you can't swallow back down. Your thighs tremble where they're wrapped around his waist, and you hate how obviously desperate you are for this—for him.

The rain doesn't stop. Of course it doesn't. It slips in through every crack in your defenses, cool and unrelenting, soaking through all your carefully constructed barriers. Just like him. Just like the way Jungkook's scent wraps around you—petrichor and coffee and something darker that makes your head spin.

And Jungkook? God, he doesn't stop either. His hips grind into you with a precision that makes you want to cry, every roll of his body deliberate, every push of his cock calculated to unravel another thread of your control. He drags you under like you're caught in a sudden summer downpour—the kind that leaves you gasping but feels too good to run from. You're drowning in it, in him, in the merciless rhythm of his fingers on your clit. Sharp, tormenting pulses that stretch your orgasm out until your muscles shake and tighten. 

"That's it," he groans, voice rough and low, the sound curling in your chest like smoke, settling warm in places you will discard and clean come morning. "Fucking take it, just like that—oh god—"

He's faltering now, his perfect rhythm stumbling like rain dripping off rooftops. Stuttering, spilling, losing the composure he loves to lord over you. His cock pulses deep inside you, and his breath comes jagged against your neck, cold and sweet like the first hint of rain on hot concrete.

You feel everything—his heat, his weight, the way his face presses into your shoulder as he finally lets go with a low groan that vibrates through your damp skin.

It's too much. It's not enough. It's everything, and nothing, and shit you swore you'd never feel again after January. 

But here you are, shivering and gasping as aftershocks roll through you, your thighs still locked around your insufferable, infuriating, insanely talented roommate.

Here you are, with the scent of rain and sex and vanilla all tangled together, the desperate drag of his lips against your neck painting a confession neither of you will acknowledge in the harsh light of day.

Here you are, thoroughly and irrevocably fucked. In every possible sense of the word.

Well, shit .

"Shit," he pants, his chest heaving against yours, his weight pinning you to the coldness of the wall behind you. You can feel his heart thundering against your skin, syncing with the mess he's made of you, with the rain still drumming against the window. 

Outside, the water droplets tap against the glass like they're keeping score. 

You try to catch your breath. Try to find your footing in the aftermath of whatever the fuck this was. It wasn't supposed to happen again. Not after January. Not now that you're roommates and everything's complicated enough without adding this mess back into the mix.

You try not to think about how this changes things, about how you'll have to face him across the breakfast table tomorrow, about how his coffee will still be too strong and his smirk will still make you want to either kiss him or kill him.

And then, because he's always unfailingly, infuriatingly him, his lips curve against your shoulder in that stupid smirk you can feel without seeing.

"So," he murmurs, still breathless but somehow maintaining that cocky edge that makes you want to shut him up all over again. "Round two?"

You smack the back of his head, but you're too boneless to put any real force behind it. "Shut the fuck up."

"Make me."

"I literally just did."

"Mm, true." He pulls back just enough to look at you, and his stupid face is all flushed and satisfied. "But I bounce back quick."

Of course he does. Fucking energizer bunny with a perfect dick. The universe really has it out for you, huh?

You roll your eyes so hard it hurts. "Get off me."

"That's not what you were saying two minutes ago."

"I'm going to murder you." And you mean it. You really, really do. Just as soon as your legs start working again and the pleasant ache between your thighs subsides.

His grin widens as he carefully sets you down, making sure your legs are steady before letting go. Like he's being considerate or some shit. "Kinky."

You want to strangle him. The urge is almost overwhelming. But your body feels like someone replaced your bones with jello, and your brain is still fuzzy from what was definitely, infuriatingly, the best fuck of your life (which you will take to your grave, thank you very much), so instead you just glare at him as he deals with the condom.

"You're the worst," you mutter, already scanning the room for your clothes. Your hoodie is... somewhere. You think you saw it fly over the bean bags earlier. Oops.

He glances at you over his shoulder, that infuriating smirk still plastered on his stupidly attractive face. "Yeah? Worst you ever had?"

"I hate you. Forever." The words don't have near enough venom when they're still shaky and fucked-out.

"Noted." He stretches, all casual and unbothered like he didn't just rail you senseless against a window. Like his skin isn't still flushed and marked up from your nails. "Shower?"

You narrow your eyes at him. "Separately."

"Where's the fun in that?" His gaze drags over you, slow and deliberate, and you hate how it makes heat pool low in your stomach again. Stupid sexy bastard.

"Jungkook."

He holds up his hands in mock surrender, but his eyes are still dancing with amusement. The prick. "Fine, fine. Ladies first."

You flip him off as you gather your clothes, trying to ignore the way your legs still feel like they're made of rubber. "What a gentleman."

"Always am, Phoenix," he says, and it's so smug, so him, that you can't help yourself.

"Whatever, Rogue." You snatch up your sweater with a bit more force than necessary.

He pauses mid-stretch, looking at you with one eyebrow raised. "That's sticking now?"

You blink at him, caught off guard. "What?"

"The nickname," he clarifies, eyebrows still quirked. "Rogue. That's sticking?"

Right. The nickname. The one you threw at him earlier in a fit of pique when he was being his usual insufferable self, poking and prodding and generally just getting under your skin in a way no one else can. 

It had slipped out without much thought. A jab at his whole selfish, reckless, fuck-the-rules vibe. You didn't think he'd actually latch onto it.

"Oh, uh..." Quick, think of something witty. Something casual. Something that doesn't scream 'I'm overthinking the implications of giving you a pointed nickname .' "I mean, yeah. If the shoe fits, Rogue."

Nailed it.

Jungkook smirks like he can read your inner spiral—which, honestly, he probably can because your poker face is absolute shit right now—and leans back against the window all casual, arms crossed over his unfairly toned chest. "I'm down for this sticking too, you know."

You pause, pulse tripping a bit. Because he isn't talking about the nickname anymore, is he? No, he's talking about this. You and him. Fucking on any available surface like a pair of teenagers who just discovered what their junk is for. 

He's talking about doing this again. Often, from the sounds of it. And that...

Well.

It makes sense, doesn't it? Strictly from like, a logistical standpoint. You're both busy, stressed-out college kids. Having a reliable hookup on call who already knows exactly how to make your toes curl? That's just... smart. Efficient. Mutually beneficial.

It doesn't have to mean anything. It's just sex.

Really, really good sex.

"Yeah," you say, ignoring the unwise way your heart kicks at the idea. "Okay. Sure."

Both his eyebrows raise at that, surprise flickering across his face, and the rare sight makes something in your chest swell with misplaced pride. Wasn't expecting that, was he?

"Yeah?" he double checks, like he's wary of spooking you. Like you'll change your mind if he makes any sudden movements.

You roll your eyes. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

He watches you for a moment longer, trying to gauge if you're serious or just fucking with him, then grins. That boyish, shit-eating grin that makes you want to do all kinds of inadvisable things. "Alright then."

"But," you add quickly, before he can say something to ruin this perfectly practical arrangement. "We need ground rules. Like, bathroom's off limits. And no morning sex. I'm not trying to be late to class because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

"I didn't hear you complaining about my lack of pants control a few minutes ago," he points out, shit-eating grin still firmly in place.

"I'm serious, Jungkook."

"Okay, okay. I got it. No bathroom banging, no morning nookie. Anything else, your majesty?" 

You flip him off with all the dignity you can muster while standing there in no bra and sex hair. Which is, admittedly, not much. "I'll let you know."

"I wait with bated breath," he says, sarcasm dripping from every word. But there's something else there too. Something that looks suspiciously like satisfaction

You're definitely going to regret this, aren't you?

But as you head towards the bathroom, sore in all the right places, skin still tingling from his touch, regret feels like a problem for future you. 

Present you? She's got a date with a steaming hot shower and the goal of scrubbing the lingering scent of rain off her skin.

(You're not thinking about why your vanilla body wash suddenly smells like a promise. You're not .)

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

i did a sketch thingy of the window scene! enjoy :)

also remember it's a reader insert, so her hair color is not canon. you can imagine her however you want. i just chose pink because it fit the color palette!!!

Chapter 8: spare keys and loaded glances

Summary:

"The thing about meeting your roommate's friends is that they always know more than they let on. And sometimes, the way they look at you feels less like curiosity and more like a warning."

Notes:

OKAY SO. First of all, I need y'all to be chill about Taehyung. I KNOW he's giving major asshole vibes rn but TRUST THE PROCESS. There's waves hands vaguely stuff going on. You'll see. Eventually. Maybe. No promises on the timeline because I'm a disaster who writes chapters at 3am fueled by spite and caffeine.

Also yes, I did just write an entire Pokémon debate. No, I will not be taking criticism at this time. Yes, this is absolutely vital to the plot. Trust me, I'm a professional.

whispers and before anyone asks - Charmander supremacy. fight me.

ANYWAYS. Hope you enjoyed whatever this mess was! Your comments give me life and serotonin, which I desperately need because my sleep schedule is absolutely wrecked and i may or may not be writing this from my blanket fort. No I will not elaborate.

catch you in the next one! ♡⁺◟(◜◡‾○)◞

(also @ the person who keeps asking about Griffin's backstory… patience young padawan. all will be revealed. maybe. possibly. don't quote me on that.)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

visual at the end of the chapter bc god gave me hands that can also draw apparently

Chapter Text

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

You know what's worse than being woken up from a perfect dream? Being woken up by Jungkook trying out different variations of your stupid nickname like he's auditioning for a role in your personal hell.

"Finny."

You're dreaming of some beautiful resort in Hawaii, living that millionaire lifestyle, sunbathing next to your giant swimming pool without a care in the world.

"Nexus."

The sun kisses your skin, warm and perfect. You're practically melting into the lounge chair as a gentle breeze carries the scent of ocean and expensive cocktails.

"Phoenixa."

You look up from under the rim of your designer sunglasses (because dream-you has taste) and spot a hot guy entering the pool. Dark hair, water dripping down his toned chest as he runs a hand through his locks—

"Nyx."

Wait. Your eyes lock with his and—what the fuck is Jungkook doing in your dream?!

"L'Oréal Paris?"

You jolt awake with a start, nearly launching yourself off the bed as reality crashes over you like a bucket of ice water. And there he is—the bane of your existence, the star of your unwanted dream, and...oh yeah, the guy you fucked against a window yesterday.

"What the actual—" You scramble to sit up, yanking your covers around you like a shield as you glare at him. "Why are you in my room?!"

Jungkook's standing right next to your bed, the side of his knee brushing against your mattress like he owns the place. He's already dressed for the day in a black t-shirt and jeans, looking way too put-together for...whatever ungodly hour this is.

"Just came to get Griffin," he says casually, like breaking into your room is a totally normal thing to do. "But decided to wake you up since I was already here."

You groan into your pillow, trying to smother yourself because it's too early for this. Too early for him and his stupid face invading both your dreams and your reality.

But of course, he doesn't take the hint. Instead, the mattress dips as he sits down, making himself comfortable as he leans back on his hands.

"Also," you mutter, turning your head just enough to scowl at him through strands of messy hair, your cheek pressed against the cotton. "L'Oréal Paris? Seriously?"

His lips twitch into that infuriating smirk—the one that makes you want to either kiss him or kill him, and right now you're leaning heavily toward the latter.

"What? Thought it was clever. You know, since I called you Nyx, and it's a makeup brand, and—"

"I got it," you cut him off, rolling your eyes so hard it hurts. "You're not as witty as you think you are."

He grins wider, clearly enjoying your morning grumpiness. "I don't know, Phoenix. You seemed pretty impressed with my wit yesterday."

Heat crawls up your neck as memories from yesterday flood back—his hands, his mouth, the way he'd—nope. No. Too early for that train of thought.

"Get out of my room," you groan, pulling the pillow over your head.

"No can do."

You quirk an eyebrow at him from under the pillow because he sounds almost...conspiratorial?

Speaking of cats... "Where even is Griffin?"

"Hmm?" There's a pause, and then: "Oh, he left like five minutes ago. Guess he got bored waiting for you to wake up."

You whip the pillow off to stare at him incredulously. "So why are you still here?"

He shrugs, a lazy smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Stuff."

"...Stuff," you mumble. Sigh. "Literally leave me alone."

You faceplant into the pillow again because it's too early for his everything. Too early for his stupid face and his stupid presence disrupting your peace.

"Come on, Nini," he says, and you can hear the grin in his voice as he tests out yet another variation of your nickname that you definitely, absolutely don't find funny. At all. "It's Saturday. Nine AM. There's so much to do. Enjoy the day."

"The day can enjoy itself without me," you grumble into the pillow, burrowing deeper into your sheets like they'll somehow protect you from his chaotic energy. Who even is like this at nine AM on a Saturday? Serial killers, probably. And Jungkook.

"Ah ah, none of that." Before you can react, he's grabbing your sheets and yanking them away from you.

The sudden rush of cool air makes you yelp, and you lash out instinctively, trying to kick him. But Jungkook's faster (of course he is, the asshole), and his hand wraps around your ankle mid-kick.

You have exactly one second to process what's happening before he yanks, pulling you down the bed toward him in one smooth motion. The world tilts and spins, and suddenly you're flat on your back, staring up at him as he twists and moves over you, caging you against the mattress.

This is...this is definitely a position. One that feels way too familiar after yesterday.

Your sleep shirt has ridden up slightly, and you're acutely aware of how close he is—his knee pressed between your thighs, his arms bracketing your head, his face right there, looking down at you with that insufferable smirk.

"Well," he says, voice dropping lower as his eyes flick over your face. "This feels familiar."

Yeah, it does. It feels way too familiar, especially with the memory of yesterday still fresh in your mind—his hands on your skin, his mouth on your neck, the way he'd—

No. Nope. You are not going there. Not at nine AM on a Saturday when you haven't even had coffee yet.

But your body apparently hasn't gotten the memo because your pulse is racing and your skin feels too hot and you're suddenly very aware of every point where his body touches yours.

"Rogue, what are you—" The words catch in your throat because suddenly his mouth is on you, pressing hot and wet against your nipple through the thin fabric of your sleep shirt. Your back arches before you can stop it, body betraying you like the traitor it is.

"C'mon," he mumbles against you, and you can feel the vibration of his voice through the damp cotton. "You gave me only one last night. You can do better than that."

You exhale shakily, cursing your body's reaction to his stupid words. Because seriously, how can something so douchey have such an effect on you? It's ridiculous. It's unfair.

"What makes you think I can—"

"Three," he cuts you off, lifting his head just enough to meet your eyes, and there's something dark and hungry in his gaze that makes your stomach clench. "You gave me three that night, Phoenix. You're crazy if you think a guy would forget that."

Stupid cocky bastard with his stupid good memory. What, does he keep a sex journal or something? Dear Diary, today I made Y/N come three times and my ego grew three sizes.

"Come on," he coaxes, dipping back down to mouth at your other nipple. "I'll make it quick. Promise it won't take more than five minutes."

"You're too sure of your—gnh" The words dissolve into a strangled sound because he just bit you through the shirt, the asshole.

"C'mon, yeah?" His voice is lower now, rougher, as his hands slide up your sides. "Say yes."

You want to fight it. You really do. But he sounds...eager. Like he's craving it, like making you fall apart gets him going in a way you don't even want to think about right now.

"...Okay," you grumble finally, and his answering grin is so bright it's almost blinding in its intensity.

Because that's the thing about Jungkook—it's not just smirks and smugness with him. No, sometimes he grins like that, all boyish enthusiasm and excitement, and it's...it's a lot. It's too much this early, with him hovering over you, looking at you like you're something he can't wait to unwrap.

It's obnoxious, is what it is. It definitely doesn't make your stomach swoop in a not-entirely-unpleasant way. Definitely not.

But with his hands sliding under your shirt and his mouth trailing down your neck? Yeah, telling yourself that is getting harder by the second.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips—an unconscious reaction more than anything deliberate—and you watch as his pupils expand, the warm brown nearly swallowed up by black. It's kind of fascinating, actually, how quickly his whole demeanor shifts from playful to...something else. Something hungrier.

Then he's moving, dropping down onto his stomach between your legs. His arms hook under your thighs, and before you can process what's happening, he's manhandling you again—pulling you down until you're right where he wants you. And the way he's looking at you now? That is not helping your situation.

"Take these off," he mumbles, eyes flickering up to meet yours, and the intensity in his gaze makes your throat go dry.

You swallow thickly, brain already turning to mush. But then—wait. Self-consciousness crashes into you like a wave because you literally just woke up.

Your hand shoots out to grab his hair, pushing his forehead back slightly. "Hold up, I just woke up—"

"And?" The single word is loaded with so much genuine confusion that you almost laugh.

You click your tongue in frustration. "It's been like, nine hours since I showered, let me just—"

You try to wiggle away, but his grip on your thighs just tightens. "Stop being weird about it."

"Rogue," you tug his hair harder, trying to make him see reason. "I'm literally all sweaty, I need to—"

He yanks your hand away from his hair, pinning it to the mattress. "So?" His voice drops lower, rougher. "I like my breakfast marinated."

You stare at him, speechless, as heat floods your face. The crimson spreads from your cheeks down your neck because what the fuck did he just say?

"You're disgusting," you manage to choke out, but your voice comes out embarrassingly breathless.

"Mhm. Now take them off," he grumbles, fingers already hooking into the waistband of your shorts.

There's no room for argument—he's tugging them down before you can even think to protest, the fabric sliding over your hips, down your thighs, until they're completely out of the way and you're left bare in front of him.

"That's better," he sighs, the words dripping with satisfaction as his eyes rake over you, cataloging every inch of exposed skin. A soft chuckle escapes him, low and warm and entirely too smug, and then he leans in, pressing his lips to the inside of your thigh.

The first kiss is soft—almost teasing—but then he follows it with another, and another, each one trailing higher as his hands tighten their grip on your legs. His thumbs rub slow circles into your skin, grounding you as his mouth works its way closer to where you're already embarrassingly wet.

And then he pauses, just long enough to glance up at you through those dark lashes that should honestly be illegal. His tongue flicks out briefly, wetting his lips before he drags a long stripe up your slit.

Your whole body jerks at the contact, a sharp, breathless gasp tearing from your throat before you can stop it. Both hands fly to his hair instinctively, fingers tangling into the soft strands as if holding onto him will somehow keep you tethered to reality.

He hums against you in appreciation—a deep, satisfied sound that vibrates through your core—and your lips tremble with the effort it takes to hold back any more sounds. Because no way in hell are you giving him the satisfaction of knowing just how good this feels.

But Jungkook? He notices. Of course he does.

He stops just as abruptly as he started, pulling back slightly to look up at you with a raised brow and a glint of mischief in his eyes. "What'd I tell you yesterday about holding your sounds?"

You release your bottom lip from between your teeth just long enough to shoot back: "You'll have to earn it then."

His smile spreads slowly across his face—thoroughly wicked and entirely too confident—as he dips back down without another word.

The tip of his tongue brushes against your clit in a feather-light tease that has your thighs twitching around him, but his gaze never wavers. He holds it steady on yours, watching every flicker of reaction like it's some kind of reward.

And goddamn it if that doesn't make this ten times worse—or better. You're not even sure anymore. All you know is that his mouth is working magic between your legs while his eyes stay locked on yours like he's daring you to break first.

You probably will.

His mouth latches onto your clit like it's a fucking binky, and the sound that leaves you—a sharp, breathless gasp—is so mortifying you want to crawl out of your own skin. But you can't help it. Can't stop the way your head throws back against the pillow, your fingers digging into his scalp like you're trying to root yourself to reality.

(And yeah, maybe you hope it hurts a little. Hope it stings just enough to remind him that he's still the bane of your existence, even if his tongue is currently doing things that should be illegal.)

His hold on your hips tightens, those strong arms locking you in place like he knows you're going to try to squirm away from how overwhelming it all is.

When you manage to tilt your head forward again, looking down at him between your legs, he's not even looking at you anymore. His eyes are closed, brows furrowed in pure concentration like this is some kind of sacred mission for him. Like the only thing that matters in this moment is making you come so hard you forget your own name.

And honestly? You don't know what's hotter—the way his tongue flickers over your clit at what feels like sonic speed, the way his face looks so focused and determined, or the iron grip he has on your thighs, keeping you pinned down so you don't miss a single second of what he's giving you.

His tongue is relentless, flicking over your clit with a precision that's downright criminal, and you're already teetering on the edge, your body strung tight like a bowstring. But then—then—as if sensing your gaze (like he's got some kind of fucking spider sense or something), his eyes snap open.

And he looks at you.

Not just a glance, not just a flick of his gaze—he locks onto you, his dark eyes boring into yours like he's daring you to look away. And the worst part? The absolute worst part? He smirks.

He fucking smirks against your clit, his tongue never faltering as it speeds up, flicking faster and faster like he knows exactly what that little expression is doing to you.

Your thighs clamp around his head instinctively, squeezing like you're trying to crush the smugness out of him because that's it. That's all it takes. The orgasm slams into you so hard and fast it knocks the air from your lungs, and the moan that rips out of your throat is loud enough to wake the entire building.

But Jungkook? He doesn't stop. Doesn't let go. Doesn't even let you breathe. He keeps going, keeps sucking and licking like his life depends on it, like he's determined to wring every last drop of pleasure from you no matter how sensitive you are or how much your body jerks against him.

You're trembling now, hands fisted in his hair as aftershocks ripple through you in waves so intense they leave you gasping. It's too much—it's way too much—but he doesn't care. He just holds you tighter, grip on your thighs unyielding as he drags his tongue over your clit again and again until you're practically sobbing from the overstimulation.

Finally—finally—he slows down. His tongue softens its assault, lips releasing their hold on you as he pulls back just enough to look at you again.

And there it is—that stupid smirk curling across his face like he knows exactly what kind of mess he's just made of you.

"Told you I'd make it quick," he says, voice low and smug as he presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, like this is some kind of victory lap for him.

You can barely process what's happening as he stands up, ruffling his own hair with one hand while the other adjusts the waistband of his jeans like nothing about this situation is unusual. Meanwhile, your chest is still heaving, your legs feel like jelly, and your brain is struggling to catch up with the fact that this man just ate you out like it was breakfast.

"You..." You scramble for words, eyes darting down to the very obvious tent in his pants because what the fuck. "Huh..."

"Nah," he shrugs casually, cutting off your half-formed thought. "Just had a craving."

He chuckles then—a soft, lopsided sound that makes heat crawl up your neck all over again—and shrugs one shoulder like this was no big deal for him at all.

"Good now," he adds simply.

And you just...stare at him. Because what the actual fuck? Who does that? Who wakes someone up at 9AM just to eat them out like it's breakfast and then just...pulls away? While hard?

Jungkook, apparently. Jungkook does that.

You stare, mouth slightly open, as he just stands there. Looking all satisfied with himself like he didn't just turn your brain to complete mush before most people have even had their morning coffee.

"What… is wrong with you?," you finally manage to croak out, voice still embarrassingly shaky.

He grins—actually grins, the bastard—and runs a hand through his messy hair again. "Didn’t eat you out yesterday. Felt off."

Your face burns hotter, if that's even possible. "Get out of my room."

"Already going," he says, backing toward your door with that same insufferable grin plastered across his face. "Got what I wanted."

"Piss off."

"Mhm." He pauses at the doorway, hand on the knob as he throws one last look over his shoulder. "By the way? You taste better in the morning."

And then he's gone, closing the door behind him before you can throw something at his head.

You flop back against your pillows, staring at the ceiling as your heart rate slowly returns to normal. Your thighs are still trembling slightly, and you can feel the ghost of his grip on them—marks that'll probably show up later as bruises.

What the actual fuck just happened?

More importantly, why are you already thinking about when it might happen again?

✿ ⋆ ˚。

When you wake up again by 1PM, it's like someone hit the reset button on your entire nervous system.

It's weird, honestly. You should be exhausted—should be feeling that bone-deep ache that comes from getting railed against a window (which, by the way, is definitely not in any apartment safety guidelines), and being eaten out for breakfast. But instead, you feel...rested. Like that was exactly what you needed to wring out all the tension that's been building between you and Jungkook since, well, January.

Maybe there's something to be said for hate-fucking your roommate. Like some kind of stress relief therapy, except instead of a stress ball, you're squeezing...other things.

You stretch lazily in your bed, noting the pleasant soreness in your thighs—a reminder that yes, that actually happened, and yes, it was actually pretty fucking great. The thunderstorm has passed, leaving behind that clean, crisp morning air that seeps through your slightly open window, and for once, you don't immediately want to commit murder when you hear Jungkook moving around in the kitchen.

Which is...new.

But then again, everything about this situation is new. You just agreed to some kind of fuck-buddy arrangement with your most annoying roommate. The guy who steals your leftovers and plays video games at ungodly hours and somehow gives the best orgasms of your life.

God, what have you gotten yourself into?

It's Saturday, and officially a week since you moved into this chaotic apartment. The digital clock on your bedside table reads 1:00PM, which is a perfectly reasonable time to wake up on the weekend, thank you very much.

You're wearing your Pokémon pajamas and honestly? Whatever, man. Jungkook's seen you naked twice already—if he has a problem with Pikachu plastered across your ass, he can suck it up.

You yank your door open and shuffle out lazily, not bothering to tame the mess that is your hair. It's still somewhat wet from last night's shower, curling awkwardly at the ends, but after the window incident? Yeah, you couldn't care less about appearances.

The bathroom door is closed, and you figure it must be Yoongi in there because who else would it be? The thought barely registers as you make your way toward the kitchen, still rubbing sleep crusties from your eyes like the elegant creature you are.

"Morning, Rogue," you mumble, voice still rough with sleep.

Jungkook glances in your direction from where he's standing at the stove, scooping something that looks like chicken breast onto a plate. He snorts when he sees you—actually snorts, the asshole—before his lips curl into that familiar smirk.

"Afternoon, Nix," he says, eyes darting back to his protein-heavy lunch spread.

You're about to ask where Griffin is—the orange menace usually demands breakfast scratches—when the bathroom door opens. You turn slightly, ready to grunt a good morning (afternoon?) at Yoongi, but...

That's not Yoongi.

That's a whole ass random man you don't know.

Your brain short-circuits for a second because what? Who—?

"Ah, that's Hoseok," Jungkook pipes up from the kitchen, like he's reading your thoughts. "Hobi, for friends."

And suddenly you're very, very aware that you're wearing Pokémon pajamas with your hair looking like something nested in it overnight.

Great. Just great.

"Great choice, by the way," this dude—Hoseok, did Jungkook say?—mentions, gesturing at your shirt as he joins Jungkook in the kitchen. "Charmander, I mean."

Ah, yeah. You almost forgot about Charmander's smug little face plastered across your chest. The fire-type starter, flames blazing behind him like he's ready to burn down a forest or something. A classic. Iconic, even.

"Thanks," you mumble, tugging at the hem of your shirt like that'll somehow make you look less ridiculous. Not that it matters. Hoseok's already grinning at you like he's decided you're his new favorite sitcom character.

"Jungkook's more of a water-type trainer," he continues, accepting a plate of food from Jungkook and leaning against the counter. "Bit of a loser if you ask me."

"Hey!" Jungkook's voice cuts through the kitchen noise, indignant as he points his fork at Hoseok. "Squirtle is literally the best fucking starter and I will not take criticism for that!"

You let out a long, exaggerated sigh, dragging your hand down your face as you shuffle toward the coffee maker. "Of course you'd be a Squirtle guy," you mutter under your breath, but loud enough for him to hear.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jungkook shoots back immediately, turning to face you with a challenging quirk of his eyebrow.

"It means," you say, pouring yourself a mug of coffee and inhaling the steam like it's the only thing keeping you sane, "that Squirtle is basic as hell. Like, oh wow, a turtle with water guns. Groundbreaking."

Hoseok snickers at that, clearly enjoying himself as he watches the two of you bicker between bites of chicken. "She's got a point," he says, raising his eyebrows at Jungkook in mock sympathy.

Jungkook glares at both of you like you've just insulted his entire family lineage. "Squirtle is not basic. He's strategic."

"Strategic?" You scoff, leaning back against the counter and letting the warmth of the mug seep into your hands. "He's a turtle with sunglasses in exactly one episode. That's not strategy; that's fan service."

"Okay, first of all," Jungkook starts, jabbing his fork in your direction for emphasis, "the Squirtle Squad was iconic. And second—what are you even talking about? Fire types are literally just pyromaniacs with fur."

You narrow your eyes at him. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." He smirks now, all cocky and insufferable as he takes a bite of his lunch like this argument isn't slowly chipping away at your will to live. "Fire types are for people who want to watch the world burn. Which makes sense for you, Phoenix."

There it is. The nickname. The one he insists on using every chance he gets because apparently calling you by your actual name is too much effort for him.

Hoseok, who's been quietly observing this entire exchange with the kind of amused smile that makes you feel like a zoo exhibit, finally pipes up. "So, nicknames?"

Your eyes widen, and you're about to launch into an explanation—because no, it's not whatever he's thinking it is—when Jungkook cuts you off with a pointed glance in your direction.

"She almost burned the house down, Hoseok," he says, tone so casual it borders on infuriating. "I really need to tell you the story."

"Excuse me?" You whip around to face him, coffee mug clutched tightly in your hand like it's the only thing keeping you from committing a crime. "You were the one who startled me! Making a grand entrance into the house like some kind of parody villain."

"Parody villain?" Jungkook repeats, eyebrows shooting up as he sets his plate down on the counter with a dramatic clink. "I literally just entered the house like a normal human being."

"A normal human being," you scoff, taking a sip of your coffee and relishing the way it scalds your tongue, "who rattled the door like a gorilla."

"It was the lock!" he snaps back, gesturing wildly with his fork. "Okay? The door—"

"Is old," you finish for him, rolling your eyes so hard it's a miracle they don't get stuck. "I know. But still? Who does that?"

Hoseok snorts from his spot leaning against the counter, clearly enjoying this far more than he should be.

"Ah," he says, nodding like everything suddenly makes sense. "Now I get why Yoongi is always in the studio."

You blink at him, momentarily distracted from your ongoing war with Jungkook. "Wait—you know Yoongi?"

"Of course I do," Hoseok replies with an easy shrug, setting his now empty plate in the sink. "We've worked together a few times." He pauses, lips twitching into another grin as he adds, "He talks about you two a lot."

"Oh god," you mutter under your breath because that can't possibly mean anything good.

Right on cue, Yoongi's door creaks open, and there he is—hair mussed, wearing what looks like the same hoodie he's been living in all week. He takes one look at the scene before him—Hoseok grinning like the cat that ate the canary, you glaring daggers at Jungkook while Jungkook waves his fork around like it's a weapon—and sighs deeply.

"Please tell me you two are not at it again," Yoongi says flatly, rubbing at his temple like just existing in this apartment is giving him a headache.

"At what?" Jungkook asks innocently, though his smirk gives him away immediately.

"At this," Yoongi replies, gesturing vaguely between the two of you as he makes his way to the coffee maker. "Whatever this...thing is that makes me want to move out and live under a bridge."

"It's not a thing," you protest quickly because no way are you letting Yoongi lump you into whatever nonsense Jungkook is always pulling.

"It's definitely a thing," Hoseok chimes in unhelpfully, and you shoot him a glare.

"We're just...having a conversation," you say, but it sounds weak even to your own ears.

Yoongi raises an unimpressed eyebrow as he pours himself a mug of coffee. "A conversation about what? Why Jungkook keeps calling you Phoenix?"

Hoseok's eyes light up like he's just been handed the juiciest piece of gossip in the world. "She's calling him Rogue," he announces, his grin so wide it's practically blinding.

Yoongi pauses mid-sip, raising an eyebrow as he glances between you and Jungkook. "Huh," he says, voice flat but laced with the faintest hint of curiosity. "That's new."

"It's not—" You start, but Hoseok cuts you off with a knowing smile that somehow manages to feel both comforting and infuriating.

"Don't worry," he says, waving a hand like he's brushing away your impending protest. "I'm not judging. I mean, nicknames are cute."

"Cute?" Jungkook snorts, setting his now empty plate in the sink with a clatter. "Phoenix isn't cute. It's accurate."

"Oh my god," you groan, pinching the bridge of your nose because this is already spiraling out of control. "We literally hate each other."

"I can vouch for that," Yoongi mutters, taking another sip of his coffee.

There's a brief moment—barely three seconds but somehow it feels longer—where Hoseok and Yoongi exchange a look. Something passes between them, something you can't quite read but definitely feels significant. You catch it only because you happen to be glancing their way, hoping for some backup in your ongoing war against Jungkook's ego.

But then Hoseok's smile brightens again, turning back to you with that same easy warmth.

"So" he says, smoothly changing the subject, "how are you liking the apartment so far? Besides the obvious entertainment value of watching Jungkook try to defend Squirtle's honor?"

"It's..." you pause, considering. How exactly do you describe living in what feels like a sitcom written by someone with a vendetta against peace and quiet? "...interesting."

"She hates it," Jungkook supplies helpfully, now leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. "And me. Mostly me."

"Can confirm," Yoongi mutters, finally moving from his spot by the coffee maker to shuffle toward the couch. "They're like cats and dogs. Or maybe just two very angry cats."

"Hey," you protest, gesturing vaguely at Griffin, who's now lounging on his windowsill throne. "Don't drag cats into this. They're way more civilized than Rogue over here."

"See?" Jungkook points at you, lips curling into a smirk. "Rogue. It's definitely becoming a thing."

Yoongi ignores Jungkook's comment entirely, fixing Hoseok with a suspicious look over the rim of his coffee mug. "Why are you here?"

"Mainly waiting for Taehyung."

"Mainly?"

You watch this exchange with growing curiosity because seriously, what is up with these two? Yoongi's already got his Signature Done™ expression plastered across his face while Hoseok just...stands there, pursing his lips together and glancing around the apartment like he's trying to look anywhere but at Yoongi.

"I just need to...do..." he trails off, suddenly very interested in examining his fingernails. "Some content creation..."

"For the love of god, Hoseok," Yoongi groans, already looking like he's contemplating that bridge residence he mentioned earlier.

"I haven't even said anything!"

"I know exactly what you mean."

Hoseok huffs, dropping the innocent act. "Come on! Everyone wants to know who my handsome best friend mastermind producer is. The comments are flooding with questions!"

You glance between them, feeling like you're missing several chapters of this story, until Jungkook pipes up from the kitchen.

"Hobi runs HOPE Studios," he explains, rinsing his plate in the sink. "Pretty big dance studio in Chelsea. Does a lot of content creation, tutorials, that kind of thing."

And," Hoseok adds pointedly, "Yoongi is a producer. The best producer. The mysterious MINT PD everyone's been dying to meet."

"No," Yoongi says simply.

"But—"

"Absolutely not."

"Just one TikTok!" Hoseok whines, pulling out his phone. "Think of the engagement! The reveal everyone's been waiting for!"

"I don't care if all 1.2 million of your followers are having collective breakdowns in your comments," Yoongi deadpans. "I'm not doing it."

"But you're so talented!" Hoseok insists. "People should know—"

"They know MINT PD," Yoongi cuts him off. "That's enough."

You watch this exchange like a tennis match, fascinated by how Hoseok's sunshine personality crashes against Yoongi's immovable hermit tendencies. It's kind of impressive, really.

"Fine," Hoseok sighs dramatically, pocketing his phone. "But when I become TikTok famous and people ask about my genius producer friend, I'm telling them you live in a cave and only communicate through carrier pigeon."

"Perfect," Yoongi says, completely unbothered. "Make sure to mention I also hate people and sunlight."

And just when you think you can have some peace and quiet…

The door swings open with a loud thunk, and you nearly spill your coffee all over the counter. What the fuck now? Why are there so many random people in your apartment today? And—wait. Why does this guy have a key?

"Taaaaeeee, you're late," Hoseok sing-songs, grinning like this is all perfectly normal. Like random strangers with keys just waltzing into your home is a totally acceptable thing that happens.

The new guy—tall, broad-shouldered, and radiating big I'd-rather-be-anywhere-else energy—glances around the room with a loud, resigned sigh. His hair's messy, like he's been running his hands through it in frustration, and he's wearing an oversized blazer that somehow makes him look both effortlessly stylish and deeply over this entire situation.

Great, you think, watching him scan the room like he's conducting a health inspection. One to add to the new 'mysteriously has our key' collection.

Jungkook barely looks up from where he's fetching the leftovers from his protein-heavy lunch, completely unfazed. "Want some?" he asks, gesturing to the extra plate of chicken and rice like this is some kind of impromptu restaurant.

The guy—Taehyung, apparently—barely spares the food a glance. "We should get going already."

"He's just moody because there was traffic," Hoseok says cheerfully, like that explains literally anything about this situation.

Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of... everything, you muse, taking another sip of your coffee. The guy's got the kind of face that belongs in magazines, which makes his perpetual scowl even more amusing. What a waste of good genetics.

"Taehyung," Jungkook says, his tone edging toward exasperation. "Why didn't you ring the bell? You can't just use the spare key like that—it's for emergencies."

Taehyung doesn't even bother replying. Instead, he pulls out his phone, scrolling through something with an expression that screams 'I don't have time for this shit.' Then his gaze flicks up—and lands on you.

His frown deepens immediately. "Who's this?"

Oh. Wow. Okay. Rude much? You blink at him, caught somewhere between confusion and offense because seriously? "Uh... I live here?"

"She's—" Jungkook starts to explain, but Yoongi cuts him off without missing a beat.

"Y/N," Yoongi says flatly, sipping his coffee like he's narrating a particularly boring nature documentary. "The third roommate."

Taehyung's frown doesn't budge as he looks you up and down like you're some kind of abstract art piece he can't decide if he hates or just strongly dislikes. "Since when?"

You take another slow sip of coffee, maintaining eye contact because hey, if he wants to have a staring contest at 1PM on a Saturday, you're game. "About a week ago."

There's a brief pause where Taehyung just...stares at you, like he's trying to decide if you're worth adding to his apparent list of life's disappointments. Then he turns back to Jungkook without another word.

Right. Because acknowledging your existence might strain something.

"Is there anyone else I should know about?" you ask no one in particular, gesturing vaguely around the room. "Any other random people with keys to my apartment? Barack Obama? The Pope?"

Hoseok snickers from the couch while Yoongi mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "I wish."

"We're heading out anyway," Jungkook says, grabbing the Tupperware and moving towards the fridge. "Taehyung's driving."

"He drives?" The question slips out before you can stop it, because honestly, the guy looks like he'd rather walk barefoot over legos than do anyone a favor.

"Yeah," Hoseok chimes in brightly as he stands up and stretches. "He's our chauffeur for today."

Taehyung finally looks up from his phone long enough to shoot Hoseok a glare. "I'm not a chauffeur."

"You kind of are," Jungkook says, closing the door of the fridge.

Taehyung sighs again—the kind of sigh that suggests he's mentally calculating how much bail money he'd need if he murdered everyone in the room—and pockets his phone. "Let's go."

Cheerful guy. Must be a riot at parties.

Hoseok claps Yoongi on the shoulder as they pass him on their way out. "Think about the TikTok!" he calls over his shoulder.

"No," Yoongi replies immediately, not even bothering to look up from his coffee.

And just like that, they're gone—leaving you standing in the kitchen with Yoongi and Griffin, who meows lazily from his perch on the windowsill like even he thinks this morning has been too much.

"So," you say after a moment, because someone has to address whatever the hell just happened. "That was..."

"Yeah," Yoongi cuts you off, already turning toward his room. "Taehyung is..."

He doesn't finish the sentence. Just shrugs like that's supposed to explain everything, then stretches his arms over his head. "Gotta work. If you need me, don't knock."

Yeah, that tracks.

 

♡ ⋆ ୭ ┉┅━━✶━━┅┉ ୭ ⋆ ♡

fmu!jk eating pussssey:

Chapter 9: rules

Summary:

Rules are funny things. You make them thinking they'll keep you safe, keep everything contained. But sometimes the person you're really trying to protect yourself from... is you.

Notes:

OKAY FIRST OF ALL—who absolutely LOVES Yeji? Because ME. The way she clocked Jungkook within seconds and had NO filter??? Like, I'm obsessed. Mans was genuinely SHOCKED that someone told him to sit his ass down. The audacity of this woman to not immediately melt under his smirky, tattooed menace energy?? I respect her so much. A feminist icon, if you will.

And IRYA. Ughhh, my precious girlie. The way she’s just casually vibing with Jungkook? Like?? They are NOTHING alike, and yet she’s over here just mingling with him, being friendly, unbothered, meanwhile Yeji is foaming at the mouth in the background. I love that contrast so much. It’s like, she doesn’t see him as a threat, just another guy in the room, which makes Jungkook (who is used to either being hated or obsessed over) lowkey confused. You can see the gears turning in his head like “Wait. Why aren’t you scared of me. Or pissed at me. Or flirting with me.” HAHAH POOR BOY.

And let’s talk about Jimin, because HELLO, my quiet support KING. He’s not even saying much in this chapter, but he’s there, next to Y/N, just in case. That kind of silent loyalty? The “I know you can handle yourself, but if you need me, I’m already here” type of presence??? I eat that up every time. Their friend group is everything to me.

Speaking of menace behavior—Jungkook. Are we surprised? He’s so unserious about everything. I loved giving him Kuko as a contact name for Y/N because in every fic, it’s always Kook or Kookie or Koo and I just—I wanted something different. Something slightly sharp and weird. Like, why does it sound like a pet name and an insult at the same time 😭😭 It’s PERFECT for their dynamic.

And finally, Y/N. My messy, mouthy, disaster baby. She is THEE representation of someone who’s barely entered adulthood, fresh into uni, kind of immature, kind of figuring it out, but loud as hell about it. Like, I KNOW some of y’all are probably reading this chapter thinking “girl, seriously??” but THAT'S THE POINT. She’s got so much personality, she’s a walking contradiction, she’s flawed, but she’s HER. I love her for it.

I also stuffed this chapter with SO many Easter eggs. Like, the foreshadowing is right there at the end, but I know y’all aren’t catching everything yet. You’ll come back later, reread it, and be like “OH MY GOD, KIKI???” And I’ll just be sitting here like 😌✌️ I love when a plan comes together.

Anyway, here’s Chapter 9, babes. Enjoy the mess. I’m off to go prep for my therapist session because, let’s be real, I probably projected a little too hard in this one LMAO.

Chapter Text

You don't know why you agreed to go shopping with Yeji. 

She texted at ass o'clock in the morning about "needing your expert opinion," and honestly? Your sleep-deprived brain just went sure, whatever without processing the implications. You just mentioned having to buy something for Emma — her birthday's in two weeks — and it was downhill from there.

"This place smells like a Pinterest board threw up," Yeji announces as you enter the third candle store of the day. Some fancy boutique with mason jars everywhere and prices that make you want to cry. "Who names a candle Whispers of Moonlight?"

"Someone getting paid way too much," you mutter, checking the price tag. Jesus. "Forty dollars for—is this supposed to smell like grass?"

"Rich people grass." Yeji picks up another one, face scrunching. "Autumn's Last Kiss. What does that even mean? Like, trees making out?"

"Pretty sure it's just pumpkin spice trying to be fancy."

"Capitalism is wild." She moves down the aisle, combat boots squeaking against the polished floor. "Oh shit, look at this one. Midnight Jasmine's Secret Rendezvous. That's not a candle, that's a Mills & Boon novel."

You snort, trailing after her. "Speaking of reading material—"

"We are not starting a book club book chat right now."

"I'm just saying, if you actually showed up to Victorian Lit—"

"And listen to Professor Stevens cream himself over Dickens for two hours? Pass." She picks up another candle, this one in black glass. "Dark Temptation. Bet you five bucks it smells like axe body spray."

She's not wrong. You wrinkle your nose as she waves it under your face. "Why does everything 'dark' and 'masculine' smell like a frat house?"

"Because the straights are not okay." Yeji sets it back, wiping her hands on her jeans like the scent might be contagious. "What did Emma say she likes again?"

"Anything except roses." You pause at a display of seasonal scents. "Her roommate burns those generic rose ones from the dollar store. Pretty sure she's traumatized."

"Valid." Yeji's already moved on to the next shelf, picking up random ones and reading their names in increasingly dramatic voices. "Summer's Sweet Embrace. Woodland Mystery. Oh my god, Bachelor's Button? What the fuck is a bachelor's button?"

"It's a flower," you say, distracted by a actually nice-looking sage and cedar one. Still overpriced, but... "My mom used to grow them."

"Sounds fake, but okay." 

She’s quiet for a second. Then:

"What about this one?" Yeji holds up a purple candle, squinting at the label. "Lavender Dreams. Sounds pretentious as fuck."

"Put that down before you break it," you mutter, scanning the shelves. The prices are criminal. “And aren't you supposed to be in Art History right now?"

"Professor Wang's doing that thing again where he talks about his divorce for two hours." She shrugs, setting the candle back with surprising care. "I've already heard all about Karen three times this semester."

You roll your eyes, picking up a sage-scented one. And no, you're not lingering in the candle section because you love them, okay? Emma likes candles too. It's completely reasonable research for a birthday gift. Nothing to do with how your apartment could use some—

"These are boring anyway," Yeji declares, already moving on. Her attention snaps to something across the street. Barnes & Noble, its windows displaying the latest bestsellers. 

"Wanna check out some books?" she asks, hands stuffed in the pockets of her worn-out grey zip-up. The one she definitely stole from Irya's closet.

"Since when do you read?" You snort, following her out of the candle store. Because you know damn well Yeji's idea of "reading" is skimming SparkNotes twenty minutes before class.

"Woah, judging a book by its cover?" She gestures to her whole aesthetic: combat boots, ripped jeans, that stolen sweater. "Just 'cause I look like this doesn't mean I don't read."

"You told me last week that Romeo and Juliet was, and I quote, 'straight people nonsense.'"

"It is straight people nonsense." She pushes open the bookstore's door, a blast of air conditioning hitting you. "But we need books for the club."

"You mean the chat group you named 'Fuck The Patriarchy Book Club' that's basically just for rambling and complaining?" Like how you ended up here today, victim to Yeji's class-skipping schemes. "That club?"

"Yeah?" She flashes that smile that you’re starting to associate with trouble. "C'mon, I need to check if they have Pride and Prejudice."

You trail after her into Fiction & Literature, past towering shelves and that distinct bookstore smell. "Pride and—hold up. Weren't you just shitting on romance classics?"

"Yeah, and?" She's already scanning the 'A' section with laser focus. "My girl wants to read it, so we're reading it."

"You're buying it because Irya mentioned it once in the group chat."

"And?" Yeji doesn't even pretend to deny it, moving purposefully through the aisles. "My girlfriend has taste. Unlike some people who waste their time reading..." she picks up a random book, "The Art of Corporate Finance."

"That's not even—"

"Found it!" She pulls out a leather-bound edition, definitely not the cheapest version available. "Look at this fancy shit. Irya's gonna love it."

You're about to point out how whipped she is when something catches your eye. A "Now Hiring" sign at the front counter, clean white letters against dark wood. Huh. You've been meaning to look for a job, something to get you out of the apartment more. And to help your finances. too. God knows you’d rather avoid having to ask mom and daddy for more money. 

"Earth to Y/N?" Yeji waves a hand in front of your face. "You good?"

"Yeah, just..." You gesture vaguely at the sign. 

Working at a bookstore wouldn't be the worst thing. Plus, employee discount.

"Oh shit, you should totally apply." She examines the sign with newfound interest. "Then you can hook me up with discounts on all the books Irya wants."

"I haven't even—"

"Excuse me?" she calls to a passing employee, ignoring your attempt to shut her up. "My friend here wants to apply for the job opening."

You're going to kill her. Slowly. With one of these hardcover books.

But the employee's already turning around—young guy, probably another student, name tag reading 'Mark'—and you can't exactly bolt without looking insane. Perfect. Just perfect.

"Oh, yeah?" Mark brightens. "We're actually pretty desperate for people who can work weekday afternoons. You have any retail experience?"

"I—"

"She's great with books," Yeji cuts in, because apparently she's your agent now. "Like, literally will fight someone over their trash literary takes. You should hear her rant about Hemingway."

You shoot her a death glare, but... well, she's not wrong about Hemingway.

"That's actually perfect," Mark says. "We get a lot of students asking for recommendations. Here—" He heads to the counter, returning with an application form. "You can fill this out now if you want. Manager's still here."

And somehow, because the universe hates you, you end up at one of the reading tables, filling out your work history while Yeji "helps" by suggesting you list your special skills as "roasting bad authors" and "setting pretentious men straight about their Joyce opinions."

Your phone buzzes. Group chat.

6B Hell

Yoongs 🎧: 𝙲𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜? 𝚆𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚛𝚗

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚙𝚊𝚢𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔

Yoongs 🎧: 𝙸 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞

Yoongs 🎧: 𝚆𝚎’𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝟷𝟻𝚝𝚑

Yoongs 🎧: 𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚝𝚑𝚡 𝚖𝚊𝚗

You're about to reply that you'll grab some later when another message pops up.

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡 𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝? 𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖

What the actual fuck?

You: 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜?

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏𝚌 

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚎 

You let out a disbelieving sound. Yeji, who's been "helping" by pointing out every minor spelling mistake in your application, peers over your shoulder.

"What's up?"

"My roommate being a jerk as usual." You know for a fact Jungkook's probably sprawled on the couch right now, doing fuck-all except maybe killing brain cells on his PlayStation. But sure, you should get the coffee.

You: 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒’𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚎

You: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘, 𝚒’𝚖 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚢

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚊𝚠 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚡

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 

Yoongs 🎧: 𝙲𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝?

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚙𝚕𝚞𝚜 𝚠𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚒𝚖 𝚑𝚘𝚝 

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚜𝚎? 

Your fingers freeze over the keyboard. That asshole.

You: 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗? 

You: 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡 

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢. 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚘𝚞𝚝…

You: 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚍𝚊𝚖𝚗 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢 

You: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝, 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚞𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎?

Yoongs 🎧: 𝚈/𝙽.

Something about Yoongi’s message makes you pause. That's... weird. But before you can think about it:

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚒𝚖 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚢

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 :)

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚐𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚢𝚊 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠?

"I'm assuming he means video games," Yeji says, still reading. "Not the fun kind of grinding."

You elbow her in the ribs.

You: 𝚔 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝

You: 𝚒𝚖 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚘

You: 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎? :)

Yoongs 🎧: 𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙 𝚒𝚝, 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 

Yoongs 🎧: 𝙸’𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚗𝚊𝚑 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕 

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚡? ;) 

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜? 

+1 (917) XXX-XXXX: 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 :)

You're going to murder him. You're actually going to commit homicide, and Yoongi's going to have to find a new roommate, and you know what? He'll probably thank you.

You: 𝚛𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕

You: :)

"So," Yeji says as you aggressively save his number under 'Kuko🖕🏻', "this is fun."

"I hate him so much."

"Uh-huh." She glances at your phone, where he's still sending coffee emoji spam. "You know what this means though, right?"

"That I need better roommates?"

"That you're definitely getting this job." She taps the half-completed application. "Can't spend all your time at the apartment if you're working retail hours."

She... might have a point.

Kuko🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚘 

Kuko🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚜 𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚢 

Yoongs 🎧: 𝙸’𝚖 𝚖𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚝 

Yoongs 🎧: 𝚈/𝙽, 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛. 𝚆𝚎,𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛.

Your phone buzzes again, but this time it's the other group chat. Thank fuck.

Fuck The Patriarchy Book Club 📚

Irya 🌸: 𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚜?

Irya 🌸: 𝚓𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚞𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

Jin ☕️: 𝙲𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝.

Jin ☕️: 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚜.

Jin ☕️: 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝟻𝟶𝚔𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝟻.

Jin ☕️: 𝙶𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎.

Your phone keeps vibrating with notifications from the other chat. You peek at it. 

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Jesus fucking Christ.

Yeji 🖤: 𝚙𝚒𝚣𝚣𝚊 𝚊𝚝 𝚢/𝚗’𝚜?

Yeji 🖤: 𝚠𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 

Your head snaps up. "Excuse me?"

"What?" Yeji doesn't even look guilty. "You keep complaining about him, might as well know what we’re working with here."

You: 𝚋𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚟𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝

You: 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

Irya 🌸: 𝚘𝚘𝚑 𝚢𝚎𝚜!! 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗??

Irya 🌸: 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 

Irya 🌸: 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚓𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎?

You let out a loud sigh, now considering Irya’s question. Because part of you thinks about bringing unwanted guests to the apartment, about how that could disturb the peace, especially for Yoongi.

But also? Also, Jungkook brought his friends last time. No warning, no group chat message to let you know you’d meeting random dudes in your pokemon PJs.

So he can suck it, honestly. 

You: 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎

You: 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘

Jin ☕️: 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙹𝚘𝚎’𝚜.

Jin ☕️: 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎.

Jin ☕️: 𝙰𝚕𝚜𝚘, 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎𝚍𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗.

Another cascade of coffee emojis floods your notifications. You switch back to the apartment chat.

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡𝚡𝚡𝚡𝚡

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: 𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: 𝚒𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚍𝚒𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝟿𝟶% 𝚌𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚎

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

Kuko🖕🏻: ☕️

You hit mute so fast you nearly crack your screen.

You: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚒𝚣𝚣𝚊 𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎

You: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚈𝙾𝚄’𝚁𝙴 𝚋𝚞𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚎𝚓𝚒

Yeji 🖤: 𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚘 𝚗𝚘

Yeji 🖤: 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝟻𝟶 𝚋𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔

Yeji 🖤: 𝚒𝚖 𝙱𝚁𝙾𝙺𝙴 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎

Irya 🌸: 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔? 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚎? 👀 

Irya 🌸: 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚞𝚢 𝚖𝚎 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔?!?!?! 💘

Jin ☕️: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐.

Jin ☕️: 𝙸’𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚜.

Yeji 🖤: 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚢

Yeji 🖤: 𝚐𝚘 𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜

"So," Yeji says, watching you aggressively fill out the availability section of your application. "Should we warn your roommate about pizza night or...?"

You think about the endless coffee emojis. About how he's probably still spamming them, the notifications piling up in your muted chat.

"Nope."

She grins. "Chaos it is."

You make it to your apartment after what feels like the longest trek ever, juggling the coffee capsules bag and your dignity. And no, you didn't buy them because of him, okay? You bought them because Yoongi deserves his caffeine fix. Yoongi, who actually helped you carry boxes up flights of stairs when you moved in. Yoongi, who warns you when the hot water's acting up. Yoongi, who—unlike some people—doesn't blast music at 3AM.

"Still can't believe you actually bought them," Yeji says for the fifth time, trailing behind you up the stairs. "Like, you're really just gonna enable his bratty ass?"

"They're not for him." You dig through your bag for your keys. "I got the regular ones for Yoongi. The vanilla ones are mine."

"Uh-huh." She's got that look again. "And you got the vanilla ones because...?"

"Because I like vanilla coffee." Your keys jangle aggressively as you search. "Not everything is about him."

"I offered to spike them," she reminds everyone, way too loudly for a hallway. "Could've made it look factory-sealed and everything."

Jimin looks slightly concerned. "Do I want to know why you know how to do that?"

"Probably not," Irya says cheerfully. "But that's why I love her."

You finally locate your keys, jamming them into the lock. It sticks—because of course it does, these old-ass doors—and you have to do that weird wiggle thing to get it open. "The last thing I need is a lawsuit for attempted murder by coffee."

"It wouldn't kill him," Yeji argues. "Just, you know. Mild poisoning. Character building."

"Pretty sure that's still illegal," Jimin says.

"Only if you get caught."

The door finally gives, swinging open to reveal... nobody. The living room's empty, thank fuck. No sign of Yoongi or—more importantly—no sign of him. Maybe they're both out. Maybe you'll actually get through this pizza night without any—

"Yo, this is actually nice," Yeji says, already making herself at home on the couch. "When you said 'bros' cave' I was expecting, like, beer pong tables and stolen street signs."

"Those are in Jungkook's room," you mutter, dropping the coffee bag on the kitchen counter. Not that you've seen his room. You haven't. Obviously.

Irya's examining the vinyl collection by the TV. "These are good albums. Your roommates have taste."

"Those are Yoongi's." Probably. You're like 90% sure they're Yoongi's. You've never actually asked.

"The place is surprisingly clean," Jimin notes, still hovering politely by the door. "Need help with anything?"

"Nah, just—" You pause as something orange streaks past. "Oh, shit, wait—Griffin, no—"

Too late. Your cat roommate's already winding between Jimin's legs, purring like the attention whore he is.

"You have a cat?" Irya drops to her knees immediately. "Oh my god, he's gorgeous."

"He's not mine." You dump your bag on the counter. "He's Jungkook's emotional support menace."

"Like owner, like cat," Yeji says, watching Griffin charm his way into Jimin's arms.

"True." You roll your eyes. "Demanding, dramatic, and constantly in the way."

Griffin headbutts Jimin's shin, purring louder.

"Should I..." He looks uncertain. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, he does that." You start unpacking the coffee capsules. “He's harmless. Just attention-starved and thinks he owns the place."

"Again," Yeji says, "like owner, like cat."

"Pretty much.”

"At least the cat's cute." She stretches out on the couch, combat boots definitely leaving marks. "Makes up for the personality."

"Tragic how the genes weren't distributed evenly," you mutter, strategizing about how to arrange the coffee capsules in the cabinet. Normal ones for Yoongi, vanilla ones hidden in the back where grabby hands can't reach them.

Irya's still on the floor with Griffin, who's now rolled onto his back. "I don't know, he seems sweet."

"The cat? Yeah." You slam the cabinet open. "The owner? Walking nightmare."

"Speaking of nightmares." Jimin's still by the door, ever polite. "Should we maybe warn him we're having pizza here? Since it's his apartment too..."

You think about the forty-seven coffee emojis still sitting in your muted notifications.

"Nope."

"Absolutely not," Yeji agrees. "He can deal with it like she dealt with having his dudebro friends over last week."

Irya looks up from scratching Griffin's belly. "Oh yeah, didn't you say you ran into them in your—what was it?"

"Pokemon pajamas," you groan. "Look, they were clean, okay? And it was like, Saturday morning. Who has people over at Saturday morning?"

"Douchebags," Yeji supplies helpfully. 

You're about to agree when you hear it. A door opening down the hall. Footsteps.

Of-fucking-course.

"You bought the coffee, phoenix?"

The drawl comes from behind you, and you briefly consider whether jail time for murder would really be that bad. Jungkook's leaning against his doorframe in—are those fucking Sonic pajama pants?—looking like he just rolled out of bed. At 7PM. Because of course he did.

"Nice little reunion you got going on here, by the way." 

He yawns, running a hand through his messy hair as he saunters into the kitchen. Like this is totally fine. Like having your friends over without warning isn't exactly what he did last week with Hoseok and Taehyung—who, by the way, apparently has keys to your fucking apartment. 

You pointedly ignore him, which would work better if he wasn't literally heading straight for you. He reaches around you to rummage through the shopping bags, and you slap his hands away. 

“Get out of my stuff."

"Oh," he pulls out the vanilla capsules before you can stop him, "you actually got me the vanilla ones?"

"They're not for you." You snatch them back. "Get your hands off them."

He grabs for them again. "Pretty sure you bought them because—"

"I bought them for me." You yank them away, but he's already going for the other bag. "Oh my god, can you not—"

"So this is the pain in the ass?" Yeji's voice drips with disdain from the couch. 

Jungkook quirks an eyebrow, still trying to get his hands on your shopping. "Who's Cruella de Vil over there?"

You elbow him away from the bags. "None of your—"

"Another candle?" He snatches it up, holding it over his head where you can't reach. Dick. "Seriously? After last time?"

"If you'd stop making everything smell like balls and nachos—" You jump for it, but he just stretches higher, "—I wouldn't have to buy them, Rogue."

"I don't smell like—"

"Wait," Irya interrupts, and you catch her hiding a smile behind her hand. "Phoenix?"

"Rogue?" Jimin adds quietly from his corner, looking between you back and forth.

Jungkook's smirk widens as he finally lets you grab the candle back. "Oh, she hasn't told you that story?"

"We are not discussing this again." You shove the candle in its bag. "Ever."

"Why not? It's hilarious." He's fully grinning now, leaning his hip against the counter like he owns it. "Haven't told them about how you almost set the place on fire your first week here?"

"BECAUSE YOU ENTERED THE HOUSE LIKE A FUCKING—" Your hand's fisted in his t-shirt before you can stop yourself, and he's snickering, the absolute dick. "Like a complete psychopath," you finish through gritted teeth.

"The lock sticks!" He's still laughing. "I told you, it's an old door—"

"You didn't have to shoulder it open like the SWAT team!"

"You dropped a lit match!"

"Because you scared the shit out of me!" 

"Ugh," Yeji groans. "Is he always like this?"

"Worse," you mutter, finally releasing his shirt. "Usually he's too busy being edgy in his room with his electric guitar."

Irya's definitely smirking now. Jimin looks like he wants to disappear into the wall.

"Whatever, phoenix." He makes another grab for the vanilla capsules. "Rising from the ashes of your attempted arson."

"That's not—" You smack his hand away. "That's not why you started calling me that and you know it."

"Pretty sure it is."

"Pretty sure you're full of shit."

Griffin chooses this moment to abandon Irya and wind between Jungkook's legs, the little traitor. Jungkook immediately scoops him up, and you pretend not to notice how the cat starts purring instantly.

"See?" He scratches under Griffin's chin. "G knows I'm right."

"G's a whore for attention." You start shoving the shopping bags away. "He'd side with Satan if Satan had treats."

"So that's why he likes you."

"You calling me Satan now? Wasn't it phoenix? Pick your poison, dumbass."

"Nah." He's still petting Griffin, who's practically melting in his arms. "Just saying you're both dramatic as fuck."

"Says the guy who kicked down a door over a—"

"The lock was stuck!"

"Yeah? Like your head up your ass?"

“Do you two always do this?” Irya prompts. 

"No," you mutter, yanking the coffee bag away as he tries to sneak another grab at it. "When he's not gaming like a twelve-year-old, he's—stop touching my stuff!"

"Just checking what flavor you got," he says innocently, which might work better if he wasn't actively trying to steal the vanilla capsules. "Since you bought them for me and all—"

"I will actually murder you."

"With what? Another candle?"

"Keep talking and find out."

"Children," Yeji interrupts, looking physically pained. "Can we not?"

But Jungkook's already reaching for the bag again, and you swat his hand away. "I swear to god—"

"What? I'm just being neighborly—"

"You're being a pain in the ass—"

"Aw, you noticed?"

"Hard not to when you're—" You break off as he successfully snags a vanilla capsule. "Give that back."

"Make me."

"What are you, five?"

"Says the one hoarding coffee—"

"It's my coffee—"

"Pretty sure you bought it with daddy's credit card—"

The words hit like a slap and before you can think better of it, you snarl, "Fuck you."

Your eyes widen the second it leaves your mouth because you know that look on his face, that slight quirk of his lips, the way he's already—

You slam your hand over his mouth so fast you practically punch him, fingers digging into his jaw. He makes a muffled sound of protest, but you can feel him grinning under your palm, the absolute dick.

"Don't," you hiss. "Don't you fucking dare."

He raises his eyebrows like who, me? but you can feel him trying not to laugh.

"Okay!" Jimin claps his hands together, looking slightly alarmed. "So, pizza? Anyone want to look at the menu?”

“Oooh, that sounds promising.” Jungkook says, yanking your hand away. 

"Can't you leave?" You eye him. "Go jack yourself off while you look in the mirror or something. Maybe play your fucking guitar."

"Huhhh?" He's already propping his elbows on the back of the sofa, leaning over the narrow table that ‘separates’ the kitchen from the living room. "I want pizza too. Plus, your friends look nice." His smile is all teeth. "I'm sure they don't mind."

Jimin materializes next to you in the kitchen like some kind of conflict-sensing angel, pretending to be interested in the coffee maker. You know he's checking if you're okay, which would be sweet if you weren't currently fantasizing about drowning Jungkook in vanilla coffee.

"I mind," Yeji announces flatly.

"No problem!" Irya chirps at the same time.

Yeji shoots her girlfriend an exasperated look, but Irya just settles more comfortably against her side. You're going to kill both of them.

"Who's the pink pony over here?" Jungkook nods at Irya, and you see Yeji's arm tighten around her shoulders, hackles practically visible.

"Touch her and die."

"Aww, babe." Irya pats Yeji's thigh. "I'm Irya, and this little black cat over here is my girlfriend Yeji." She points across the room. "That's Jimin."

Jungkook glances back at where you're now aggressively reorganizing coffee capsules, Jimin hovering uncertainly beside you. There's something in his expression you don't like, mouth opening to say god knows what—

"And the third roommate?" Yeji cuts in.

You're about to answer but Jungkook beats you to it. "Yoongi's not here."

"Working late," you add, just to be contrary. "You know, like an actual adult with a job?"

"Unlike some people," Yeji mutters.

You snort at her commentary, and you tune out Jungkook’s comeback. Instead your eyes flicker to Jimin, who’s scrolling through his phone, probably looking at pizza options, when—

"Yo Jim, come here." Jungkook waves him over. "Let me look at the menu."

You grab Jimin's arm before he can move, linking it with yours. "I'm choosing first, wait your damn turn."

Jungkook rises from the sofa with a click of his tongue. "Come on, I just wanna—"

"Did she fucking stutter?" Yeji snaps, and Jungkook actually blinks, like he's not used to being shut down that fast.

You turn back to Jimin's phone with maybe a bit too much satisfaction. "Okay, so what are we thinking?"

"They have this new quattro formaggi that's supposed to be good." Jimin tilts the screen so you can see better. "Or the classic margherita—"

"Boring," you mutter, scrolling past. "Oh, what about the spicy one? With the—"

"The calabrese?" He zooms in on the description. "Spicy salami, fresh basil..."

"That looks good." You're actually getting hungry now. "Maybe we could—"

A shadow falls over the phone as Jungkook appears in front of you like some kind of pizza-seeking missile. He peers over both your lowered heads, close enough that you can feel the heat from his chest, and you resist the urge to elbow him in the ribs.

"Have you two decided?" His breath hits your ear. "Because I—"

You're about to grab a fistful of his hair and yank him back to a respectable distance when he snatches Jimin's phone right out of his hands.

"What the fuck—" You start to reach for him, but Jimin catches your wrist.

"It's okay," he says quietly. "Don't worry about it."

Jungkook's already scrolling, completely unbothered. "Yo, what do you two want?" He nods at the couch without looking up.

"Hawaiian for me," Irya pipes up cheerfully. "Yeji wants the diavola, extra spicy."

Yeji just grumbles something that sounds suspiciously like "men" and turns on the TV.

"Cool, cool." Jungkook's still scrolling. "Phoenix, you getting the calabrese?"

"None of your business."

"Just trying to make sure we don't order the same thing." He glances up with that insufferable smirk. "Unless you want to share?"

"I'd rather eat glass."

"Okay, so that's a no on sharing." He's still scrolling through Jimin's phone like he owns it. "I'm thinking meat lovers."

"Of course you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you're basic as fuck."

"Says the one getting—" he squints at the screen "—spicy calabrese, like some—"

"Can you two shut up for five minutes?" Yeji snaps from the couch. "Some of us are trying to hear the TV."

"My bad," Jungkook says, not sounding sorry at all. He hands Jimin's phone back—finally—and stretches. "Alright, four pizzas ordered. Now we wait."

You watch him sprawl onto the armchair—the one he keeps arguing it’s his (it’s not?)—like he belongs there, and something about it sets your teeth on edge. The casual way he's inserted himself into your evening, how he's somehow charmed Irya into actual conversation, how he keeps looking at you when he thinks you're not paying attention.

"Whatever, man." You push away from the counter, desperate to get away from his presence for at least two minutes. "I'm gonna get into my PJs, I'll be back."

You head down the hall, your skin prickling like he's watching you go. Which he's not. Obviously. You're just on edge because he's being more insufferable than usual, getting all cozy with your friends like he has any right to—

"Yo, phoenix, wait." Jungkook's voice stops you. "Remember that thing with the landlord? The, uh, maintenance form?"

"What maintenance form?"

"You mentioned to Yoongi about the lock sticking, right?" He's already moving towards you with that easy confidence that makes you want to punch him. "Super's been bitching about proper documentation. Needs your signature since it's your door."

He keeps talking as he approaches, something about liability and repair schedules, and it sounds legitimate enough that you almost miss how he's gradually crowding your space. Almost miss how each step brings him closer until—

He reaches past you, hand brushing your hip as he turns the handle. The door barely has time to click shut before Jungkook’s on you, his whole body crowding into yours, ushering you backward so fast you stumble. Almost fall.

“Jesus—”

Your balance tips, but before you can catch yourself, his hands are already on you—grabbing, steadying, possessive. A solid chest against yours, broad palms locking around your wrists before you can shove him away.

He grins down at you, smirky, flushed, pupils blown. That lazy, cocky amusement dripping from his expression like he planned this. Like he knows exactly what he’s doing.

“Relax, Phoenix.” His grip tightens, pulling your wrists just slightly apart. “You’re fine.”

And then his mouth crashes onto yours.

Hard. Messy. Zero warning, zero hesitation. Just heat and teeth and tongue, urgent like he needs to shut you up.

You match him instantly, kissing back just as fiercely, nails curling into his shirt, yanking him closer. His hair is soft under your fingers, thick and dangerous, and you tug—just the way he likes it. Just the way that always makes him groan, makes him grab.

Which he does. Both hands drop to your ass, full palms, fingers digging in like he can’t help himself. A rough squeeze that pulls a breathy sound from your throat before you can stop it.

He chuckles, low and wrecked against your lips, hips rolling slow and deliberate against yours. 

Fuck—” Another squeeze, his voice dropping. “You get all mouthy with me, and then you act surprised when you turn me on?”

Your stomach flips.

His mouth is still moving against yours, sharp and demanding, and fuck—you’re dizzy, heat curling low and deep.

You don’t realize he’s backing you up until your spine collides with the wardrobe.

You wince. “God, fuck—”

Jungkook barely lets you finish before his teeth graze your jaw, lips dragging lower—

No.

You shove at his chest, breath coming fast. “What is your problem?”

His smirk is instant, panting slightly, lips wrecked. The fucking look in his eyes—smoky, half-lidded, shamelessly pleased with himself.

“Mm?” He tilts his head, like he didn’t just grope the hell out of you. “What?”

“You can’t—” A sharp inhale. You straighten your shirt, glare sharp enough to cut. “My friends are here.”

He blinks. Shrugs. "So?"    

"So," you bite out, "we are not doing this."    

Jungkook just looks at you, like you’re speaking a foreign language. "Doing what?"    

"Don't." You level him with a flat stare.    

His head tilts, gaze dragging over you, slow and deliberate. "I just wanted to talk."    

"Talk," you repeat, incredulous.    

"Yeah." He plants a hand on the wardrobe beside your head. Not caging you in—just existing in your space, like he belongs there. "Privately."    

Jesus fuck.    

"Nope." You press your palms to his chest, feeling the heat of his skin through cotton. "Not happening."    

"Phoenix." His voice dips, lazy and smooth, like he’s humoring you. "I'll be quick."    

A disbelieving scoff. "Absolutely the fuck not."    

He laughs, quiet and amused, like this is funny to him.    

Of course it is. Of course it is.    

You shove at his chest again. "They don’t know about this, and they’re not going to know about this."    

His brows pull together, expression open, genuinely confused. "Why?"    

Oh, you could kill him.    

"Because," you grind out, "I don't need them speculating."    

"Speculating about what?"    

"About us, dumbass!"    

The words land—and then he snorts. He just, snorts. Like you just told him a funny joke he lowkey doesn’t want to laugh at. 

"Oh, fuck off," you snap.    

His grin lingers. "Nix. We fuck. That’s it. No one’s gonna think we’re picking out wedding invitations."    

You glare. "You're missing the point."    

"I really don't think I am."    

"Rogue." You exhale sharply. "I don’t want them in my business, okay?"    

He watches you for a beat, head tilted like he’s reading between the lines.    

Then he nods. Simple. Easy. "Okay."    

You blink. "Okay?"    

"Yeah?" He shrugs. "You don’t want them to know, they won’t know. It’s not that deep."    

Right. Not that deep.    

It shouldn’t be a relief—he’s only agreeing because he doesn’t care—but your shoulders still drop a fraction.    

"Good," you say.    

He hums, gaze flicking over your face, considering. "I mean, it’s not like you gotta tell them I’m your boyfriend or something. Just that we fuck sometimes. What’s wrong with that?"    

You scoff. "Everything is wrong with that, Jungkook."    

He raises an eyebrow. "Like what?"    

Like—god, where do you start?    

Like the fact that this is supposed to be contained, something that stays locked in this apartment and nowhere else. Like the fact that you need to be in control of it because if you’re not, it means it’s spiraling, and spiraling is—    

Not an option.    

He hums, considering. The vibration shivers over your skin. "Interesting."

The fuck does that mean?

You glare at him. "What?"

"Nothing." But there's a glint in his eye you don't like. Knowing. Assessing. "Just seems like you're overthinking it."

"I'm not—"

"Ashamed?" His head tilts. "Embarrassed?"

Heat crawls up your neck. "Fuck you."

"I mean." A slow drag of his gaze, head to toe and back again. "If you insist..."

Oh my god. 

Your foot connects with his shin. Hard. He grunts, flinching back. Good.

"Touch me again," you growl, "and you lose your dick."

 He holds up his hands. The picture of innocence. "Message received."

"Is it?" You cross your arms. Narrow your eyes. "Because it seems like you're having trouble understanding basic fucking boundaries."

"Nah, I get it." But there's a wicked glint in his eye, and oh, that can't be good. "No telling your friends about all the filthy things we do."

"There is no we.” You jab a finger at his chest. "No us."

A slow nod. "Right."

"I mean it, Rogue." You hold his gaze, unflinching. "This?" A sharp gesture between your bodies. "Doesn't leave this apartment."

"Mm." His tongue swipes over his bottom lip. Deliberate. Obscene. "So I shouldn't mention how you like it when I—"

Your hand clamps over his mouth, muffling his words. "Finish that sentence and die."

He grins against your palm, wholly unrepentant. Bastard.

You drop your hand. Take a step back. "I'm serious, Ry."

"Oh, I know." But there's a curl to his lips you don't trust. Not one bit.

"Do you?" You cross your arms. "Because it sounds like you're angling for a free pass to run your mouth."

"Nah." He mirrors your posture, arms folding over his chest. “Just getting a feel for the rules."

Right. Sure. "The rules are simple." You hold up a finger. "Rule one: no one knows we're fucking."

A nod. "Easy enough."

"Rule two," you continue, "if anyone asks, we're just roommates."

"Uh-huh." His tongue presses against the inside of his cheek. Considering. "That all?"

Wariness prickles up your spine. "Why?"

A shrug. Too casual. "No reason."

Bullshit.

You shake your head. "Just—forget it. Are we done here?"    

Jungkook watches you for another long second.  

Then he nods. "Yeah, we're done."  

He turns, already reaching for the doorknob, when—  

"Oh." A pause. Like he just remembered something. "And just so we're clear—this isn’t exclusive, right?"  

You blink. "What?"  

He glances back, expression easy. Casual. "Like, I can fuck other people. That cool with you?"  

A laugh bursts out of you. Short. Sharp. "Why the fuck would I care?"  

His mouth twitches. "Dunno. Just making sure."  

"Well, consider it confirmed." You fold your arms. "Do whatever the fuck you want, just—"  

He lifts his brows. "Just?"  

"Don’t give me an STD." You level him with a flat look. 

He snorts. "Noted." A beat. Then, amused— "You want test results?"  

"Oh, fuck off, Rogue."  

"Just offering, Phoenix." His smirk lingers for half a second before his expression smooths out. "So, rule number three, then."

You narrow your eyes. "Rule what?"

"Rules." He gestures between you. "One: no one knows. Two: if they ask, we're just roommates." A pause. "Three: no feelings."

Something in his voice shifts, something light but pointed, like he's not saying it just for your benefit.

You scoff. "Yeah, no shit."

He nods once, satisfied. "Cool."

And then he's gone, door clicking shut behind him like the whole thing never happened.

The air in the room is suddenly too thick.  

You exhale sharply, back hitting the wardrobe, and press your palms over your face.  

God damn him.  

Not just for being an insufferable pain in your ass, but for being right. Because logically, there's no reason to keep this a secret—he's not your boyfriend, he's just your roommate who happens to fuck you sometimes. It's not a big deal. It's not anything.

But something in you rebels at the thought of anyone knowing. Of having to explain yourself, to justify your choices. You've had enough of that to last a lifetime, enough of measuring every decision against someone else's expectations. Enough of being told what you should want, what you should do, who you should be.

This thing with Jungkook? It's yours. Messy and stupid and probably a horrible idea, but it's yours. The one thing in your life that nobody gets to have an opinion about, that nobody gets to control but you. 

And maybe that's fucked up. Maybe normal people don't feel this desperate need to keep parts of themselves hidden, to maintain this iron grip on every aspect of their lives. Maybe they don't lie awake at night planning escape routes from their own decisions.

But you've never been very good at normal, have you?

You straighten, smooth your shirt, school your face into something neutral.  

Then you open the door, step back into the living room, and pretend like your world isn’t tilting.

Chapter 10: slow dancing

Summary:

"Late night melodies have a way of slipping past your defenses. And maybe that's why he chose 2AM to show you a side of him you weren't supposed to see."

Notes:

author's note

FIRST OF ALL! I CREATED A PLAYLIST OF SONGS FMU!JUNGKOOK PLAYS ON HIS ELECTRIC GUITAR to make him feel more human and lived in. Go check it out! You can play it whenever he’s playing the guitar.

Hello everyone! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Currently writing this from the past since I'm scheduled to be stuffing my face with gyros in Greece right now. Which, honestly? Living my best tourist life with my partner. (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

I know I said chapter 10 might be delayed because of the trip BUT Wednesday night hit different and suddenly my brain went feral. You know how it is - either write nothing for weeks or channel an entire novel in one sitting. There is no in-between. (;一_一)

Here's the thing about this chapter though - I'm actually proud of it? Which never happens, so cherish this moment. It's finally time to plant some seeds (about time, right?). ٩(◕‿◕。)۶

Listen, I know I'm absolutely unhinged about slow burn. Like, genuinely concerning levels of commitment to dragging out emotional development. I kept second-guessing if 50k words in was too early for their first Moment™, but you know what? They deserve this tiny crumb of softness. (`・ω・´)

Before you get too excited - remember who's writing this. Your resident slow burn demon. What I consider a huge development, you'll probably read and go "... that's it?" (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ But I promise, if you pay attention to the vibes, there's something special here.

Quick question! I've sprinkled about three of Jungkook's trauma events throughout the story so far. Any theories? Some of you perceptive souls (looking at you, Koopsy) have probably figured them out, but I'm curious what everyone else thinks! ψ(`∇´)ψ

See you next weekend! Mwah!

P.S. Written at 5AM running on spite and caffeine. If you spot typos, no you didn't. ( ̄▽ ̄*)ゞ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Chapter Text

I am sorry but listening to THIS on the second is MANDATORY. It’s the song Jungkook’s playing. So, you better listen to it or I’ll get mad and stop breathing and there will be no more fuck me up for you bitches. 😤😤😤

Your hair's a fucking mess and it's all his fault.

You tug at your oversized pajama shirt as you emerge from your room, trying to look less... well. Less like you just had your roommate's tongue down your throat.

The living room's exactly as you left it, except now Jungkook's manspreading in the armchair like he owns it, arguing with Yeji about—wait, what?

"—can't seriously think the Stratocaster is better for metal," he's saying, gesturing with those stupidly nice hands of his. "The humbucker pickups alone—"

"The clarity though?" Yeji cuts in, looking personally offended. You've seen that look before—usually right before she launches into a thirty-minute rant about music theory. "You get way better note definition with single coils, especially for complex riffs—"

"Yeah, if you want it to sound like a tin can—"

"Excuse me?" 

God. Two guitar nerds in one room. This is literally your worst nightmare.

Irya's sitting between them on the couch looking thoroughly entertained, phone in hand. "Jimin!" she calls out suddenly. "Check the one I just sent you!"

Jimin glances up from his own phone, that soft smile playing on his lips. He's claimed the other end of the couch, as far from the guitar debate as possible. Smart man.

The doorbell rings, and before you can even think about moving, Jungkook launches himself out of the armchair like an overcaffeinated jackrabbit.

"I got it!" He's already halfway to the door, and you roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck.

"Whatever." You grab one of the bean bags from near the big window, dragging it to the other side of the coffee table. As far from the armchair as possible, because you know exactly where he's going to sit when he gets back.

"Just saying," Yeji continues like the pizza interruption never happened, "if you're going to shit-talk Fender, at least have a decent argument."

"Oh, I've got arguments." You can hear Jungkook fumbling with his wallet at the door. "Want me to grab my guitar? I can demonstrate—"

"Please, god, no," you mutter, dropping onto the bean bag. The last thing you need is an impromptu concert from either of them.

"Pizzaaaa," he announces, kicking the door shut behind him. He's somehow managing to balance four boxes, and you definitely don't notice the way his arms flex under the weight. "Who's hungry?"

You end up sharing your calabrese with Jimin because he's literally the only person in this room with taste. Plus, watching him take small, careful bites makes you feel better about the way you just inhaled your first slice like some kind of starved animal.

Everyone else claimed their own pizza—Yeji's practically mainlining her extra spicy diavola, Irya's defending her hawaiian from Yeji's judgmental looks, and Jungkook...

God. Jungkook.

He's sprawled in that armchair like it's a throne, one leg thrown over the armrest, decimating his meat lovers' like he's getting paid for it. And it's annoying. Everything about him is annoying. The way he tears into the crust with those stupidly white teeth. The way his throat works when he swallows. The little appreciative sounds he makes that are way too similar to—nope.

Not going there.

"Want some?" He catches you staring and holds out a slice, cheese stretching obscenely. "Since you keep looking over here."

"I'm not—" You break off as a string of cheese snaps. "I was judging your eating habits."

"Uh-huh." He takes another bite, and you hate that you notice the way his lips curve. "Sure, phoenix."

"Fuck off."

"Make me."

Yeji makes a gagging sound. "Do you two ever stop?"

No. You don't. That's the problem. Whether it's fighting or fucking or whatever the hell happened in your room twenty minutes ago, you just... don't stop. Can't stop. Won't stop.

And maybe that should worry you more than it does.

"Pass me a napkin?" Jimin asks quietly, and you grab one gratefully. Away from thoughts of Jungkook's mouth and what it was doing to you earlier and—focus. Pizza. Friends. Normal things that don't involve your roommate's tongue.

Except he's right there, existing in your peripheral vision like some kind of extremely annoying sun. Being all... present. With his hair still messed up from your hands and that mark on his neck that your friends definitely haven't noticed but you know is there and—

"Phoenix." His voice cuts through your spiral. "You're staring again."

"I'm plotting your murder."

He grins, slow and knowing. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

He's still chewing. Like, unnecessarily loud? Who taught this man table manners, a pack of wolves? 

You watch him demolish another slice with the same energy your mom attacks Facebook conspiracy theories. It's giving feral raccoon energy. No, worse—it's giving mukbang YouTuber who's about to get canceled for something weird. The way he's manspreading in that chair like he's about to start a podcast about cryptocurrency—

And then you see it. Griffin, the little menace, has somehow gotten onto the coffee table (again) and he's sniffing at—fuck, is that garlic bread?

You're out of the bean bag before you can think, nearly falling on your face in your haste. "Griffin, no—"

But Jungkook's already moving too, pizza forgotten, practically launching himself out of the chair. "G, don't—"

You snatch Griffin away from the bread just as Jungkook reaches for him, and for a second you're both frozen there—you with an armful of disgruntled cat, him with his hands outstretched and something raw and panicked in his eyes that makes your chest tight.

"He can't have garlic," you explain, which is stupid because obviously Jungkook knows this, it's his cat. "It's toxic for—"

"Yeah." His voice is rough. He swallows, hands falling to his sides. "Yeah, I know."

The silence stretches for a beat too long. 

Something's off about his reaction—it's just bread, right? 

But there's tension in his shoulders, a tightness around his eyes that wasn't there before.

"He's got this thing about human food," he says finally, aiming for casual but missing by a mile. His laugh sounds hollow. "Always goes for the stuff that'll fuck him up."

You raise an eyebrow, absently scratching under Griffin's chin. "What, like a death wish?"

"More like bad judgment." He reaches for Griffin, and you notice his hands aren't quite steady. "Likes the wrong stuff. Just like his dad. Don't you, buddy?"

Griffin just purrs, completely unbothered by all the drama he just caused. Jungkook checks him over anyway, like he might have somehow eaten the entire loaf in the two seconds you weren't looking.

"Devil cat," you mutter, but you find yourself reaching out to scratch Griffin's ears anyway. "Always trying to unalive himself with human food."

Jungkook's quiet for a moment, just watching you pet Griffin. 

Then, so soft you almost miss it: "Thanks."

You blink. "For what?"

"For—" He cuts himself off, nonchalance sliding back into place. "For not letting him add 'bread thief' to his criminal record."

But there's something in his voice, in the way his fingers keep checking Griffin like he needs to make sure he's still there—

"Yo," Yeji cuts in, "can someone please explain to my girlfriend why pineapple on pizza is a crime against humanity?"

"It's not a crime," Irya's saying, waving her slice of hawaiian like a weapon. "It's culinary innovation."

"It's fruit on pizza." Yeji looks personally wounded. "That's like putting ketchup in coffee."

"Don't give him ideas," you mutter, watching Jungkook from the corner of your eye. He's settled back in the armchair with Griffin, but something's... off. The casual sprawl looks forced now, mechanical. His phone's out, thumb scrolling without really seeing.

Weird

"Some people actually do that," Jimin offers quietly. "The ketchup thing."

"Those people need therapy." Yeji steals a piece of pineapple off Irya's slice, examining it like it's evidence in a crime scene. "Like, immediately."

You should probably join in. Make some quip about food crimes or Yeji's weird vendetta against fruit. But you keep getting distracted by the way Jungkook's shoulders are still tight, how his other hand hasn't stopped checking Griffin. Like he needs to make sure he's still there.

Doesn't make sense. He was fine ten minutes ago, being all loud and annoying about guitars. What changed?

"Speaking of crimes against humanity—" Irya starts.

"We are not discussing the mint chocolate incident again."

"It was one time!"

Griffin shifts in Jungkook's lap, and you catch the slight flinch in his fingers. The way his eyes snap to check what the cat's doing. It's so different from his usual careless energy, from the way he usually lets Griffin do whatever the fuck he wants.

"Phoenix." His voice makes you jump. Caught staring. Fuck. "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

The words are right—that usual cocky bullshit—but the delivery's wrong. Flat. Like he's reading from a script of himself.

"What, and boost your ego more?" Keep it casual. Normal. Whatever's happening, he clearly doesn't want to talk about it. "Pretty sure that's like, directly against the Geneva Convention."

He tries for a smirk, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Didn't know you were so concerned about war crimes."

"Only the ones happening in my living room."

A ghost of his usual grin, there and gone. Then he's back to his phone, shoulders a hard line under his t-shirt. You watch him tap the screen exactly four times, precise and measured. Since when does he do anything precise?

"Y/N?" Jimin touches your arm. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just..." You gesture vaguely at your half-eaten slice. "Food coma."

But you keep watching. Can't help it. The way his jaw clenches every few seconds. How he's barely touched his pizza since the Griffin thing. The slight tremor in his fingers when he scratches behind the cat's ears.

He just... trusts the wrong people sometimes, you know?

What the fuck was that about?

"Earth to Y/N!" Yeji's voice cuts through your thoughts. "Back me up here. Pineapple on pizza—yes or no?"

"What? Oh, uh." You force yourself to look away from Jungkook. "Definitely no."

"Thank you!"

"Traitor," Irya accuses, but she's grinning. "I trusted you."

Trust. There's that word again. You glance back at Jungkook, but he's not even pretending to listen anymore. Just staring at his phone, one hand buried in Griffin's fur like an anchor.

Something happened here. Something you're missing. But the more you try to piece it together, the less sense it makes. It's just bread, right? Just Griffin being his usual chaos gremlin self. So why does Jungkook look like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop?

"Hey." Jimin's voice is soft. Private. "Sure you're okay?"

No. Yes. Maybe. You don't know why you're so fixated on this, why you can't just let it go. It's not like you care. It's not like—

"I'm fine." You reach for another slice. "Just tired."

But you can't quite shake the image of his face when you caught Griffin. That raw panic, like he was seeing something else entirely. Someone else.

“Alright I’m so done with this. We are watching Love Island.” Yeji jumps in.

“Since when do you like reality shows?” Jimin asks, smiling.

“Since, uh, never.” She replies, defensively. “I just like seeing stupid people doing stupid shit.”

And that’s how you end up watching Love Island reruns, because apparently that's what your life has devolved into. Jungkook disappeared to his room twenty minutes ago, taking Griffin and his weird mood with him, and you're trying very hard not to think about either of them.

You're failing spectacularly, but whatever.

"You good?" Yeji nudges you with her foot. "You've been weird since the whole bread thing."

"M'fine." You bat her foot away. "Just tired."

She gives you that look, the one that says she knows you're full of shit, but before she can call you out on it, the front door opens.

Yoongi trudges in looking like he's been through seven circles of hell and maybe a Walmart on Black Friday. His beanie's askew, dark circles under his eyes more pronounced than usual—classic post-studio energy. He stops dead when he sees your little gathering, letting out the longest, most defeated sigh you've ever heard.

Then he takes off his beanie, hanging his keys, and—

"You're fucking joking." 

Yeji practically launches herself off the couch, dislodging Irya from where she was curled into her shoulder. What the—

Yoongi freezes. Turns. Very. Slowly.

"........."

"Mint????" Yeji's voice hits a pitch that probably only dogs can hear. "What the actual fuck?"

Yoongi closes his eyes like he's praying for strength. "Please god, no."

Hold up.

You look between them—Yeji vibrating with chaotic energy, Yoongi looking like he wants to evaporate on the spot. Since when does your anti-establishment new possibly best friend know your lowkey famous producer roommate?

"Wait." You sit up straighter. "You know Yoongi?"

"Know him?" Yeji's still staring at Yoongi like he's either Jesus or a sleep-deprived hallucination. "He produced my track six months ago and then ghosted everyone like—"

"I didn't ghost." He dumps his bag on the counter with maybe more force than necessary. "I was working."

"For six months?"

"Yes."

You regard both of them slowly. Because yeah, you knew Yoongi was Mint—Hoseok had dropped that bomb like it wasn't a whole thing. But Yeji? Your anarchist, fight-the-system best friend worked with him? 

"Hold up." Irya's sitting up now too, eyes wide. "You're telling me this is the guy? The one who made that track that almost got you banned from three venues?"

"It was one track." Yoongi's already heading for his room, clearly done with this conversation. "Six months ago."

"It was fire though!" Yeji calls after him. "Could've been more if you hadn't—"

The door closes with a very pointed click.

"Well." Irya breaks the silence. "That was fun."

Another door opens and Jungkook peers out, probably drawn by all the noise. "Was that Yoongi? What's with all the—"

"Did you know Yeji worked with him?" you demand, because apparently this is your life now. Finding out your friend and your roommate have secret music history.

He blinks. "With who?"

"Our roommate? Mint PD? Ring any bells in that empty head of yours?"

"Oh." He shrugs, leaning against his doorframe. "Yeah, but I didn't know it was your Yeji."

"She's not my—wait." You narrow your eyes. "How many Yejis do you know?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, phoenix?"

"It’s not like Yeji is a super common name in New York." 

His grin is insufferable. "Sure about that?"

"God, do you ever shut up?"

"Only when I'm sleeping." He stretches, all casual arrogance. "Sometimes not even then."

"Gross." You turn to your friends. "You guys don't have to leave just because he's being... himself."

But Yeji's already getting up, collecting their stuff. "Nah, it's late. Plus, I need to process the whole Mint thing. That was weird as fuck."

"Text me the story later?" Irya asks, helping gather the pizza boxes. "I want to know everything about this track that got you banned."

"It wasn't banned," Yeji protests. "Just... strongly discouraged from ever being played again."

Jimin helps clean because he's literally an angel walking among mere mortals. You walk them to the door, hyperaware of Jungkook still hovering in his doorway like the creep he is.

"Text me," Yeji mutters as she hugs you goodbye. 

The door closes behind them. When you turn around, Jungkook's gone, door clicking shut like he was never there.

Typical.

You stare at his closed door for a moment, thinking about garlic bread and panic and things that don't make sense.

Whatever. Not your problem.

You're going to commit a murder tonight.

Your friends left hours ago, and you've been trying to wind down—reading, scrolling through TikTok, attempting to be a functional human being who sleeps before their 8AM class. But someone apparently decided 2AM was the perfect time to practice his goddamn electric guitar.

The electric guitar riffs pierce through your wall for the hundredth time, each note a personal attack on your sanity.

Who the fuck plays at 2AM? Who? What kind of sociopath—

Another chord progression. Louder this time.

You grab your pillow, smothering a scream into it as your nails dig into the fabric. Eight AM class tomorrow. Eight. Fucking. AM. And this absolute waste of oxygen is out there having his main character moment like he's the star of some teen angst movie.

Fuck him. Actually fuck him. And fuck past you for fucking him in the first place. Yeah, okay, he's hot. Fine. But does that really balance out this? The constant noise and the attitude and the way he acts like the whole world revolves around him? 

The guitar gets louder, like he knows exactly what you're thinking.

Pain in the ass doesn't even cover it. Pain in places that don't have medical names yet. Pain in the fucking soul.

You snatch your phone off the nightstand, fingers flying over the keyboard:

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝟾𝚊𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 🖕🏻

The guitar stops. Thank god. Thank every possible—

A low chuckle filters through the wall.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚍𝚊𝚖𝚗
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚞

Your blood pressure spikes.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚜𝚝𝚐 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚗
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚛 𝚞𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞,𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑

A pause. Then:

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚢
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚖𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛

You actually growl.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚏𝚌 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚢 🙄

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝟷𝟸??

Another chord rings out. Deliberately slow. Testing.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚗?

You: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛?
You: 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚙𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚢?

The guitar stops. Complete silence. Maybe you went too far, bringing up—

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚒 𝚊𝚖

Your heart definitely doesn't skip. Absolutely does not.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚖𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛? 🙄

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚞𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍

You stare at your phone. At the wall separating your rooms. At your reflection in the dark window, hair a mess and eyes too bright.

This is stupid. This is so fucking stupid.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚞𝚑 𝚑𝚞𝚑

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍

Fuck.

Fuck.

Your feet hit the floor before you can think better of it. And isn't that just the whole problem? You never think better of it. Not with him.

So yeah, you make it to his room. Where the devil sleeps.

Your eyes sweep over his walls, taking in all the black and red and—yep, exactly what you expected. Some alt-boy Pinterest board threw up in here. Black wooden bed with those lumberjack pattern sheets, gaming setup that probably cost more than your tuition, wardrobe that's definitely hiding at least three identical black hoodies.

No windows. Makes sense. Vampires and all that.

He's sprawled on the bed like some renaissance painting gone wrong, all long limbs and messy hair like he's been rolling around like a dog marking its territory. The guitar sits easy in his lap, familiar. Natural. 

Not that you notice. Or care.

His eyes flick to you, that insufferable smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. He doesn't stop playing, just watches as you hover in his doorway like—nope. Not finishing that thought.

"Didn't think you'd actually come."

"Didn't think you'd actually know how to play." You step into his space, ignoring how the air feels different in here. Heavier. "Yet here we are, disappointing each other."

He snorts, fingers still moving over the strings. Something slower now, almost melodic. "Always so sweet, phoenix."

"Always so annoying, rogue."

But you find yourself moving closer, drawn by the way the notes fill the space between you. It's... not terrible. Actually kind of good, if you're being honest. Which you're not. Obviously.

"What?" He catches you watching his hands. "Surprised I can do something besides annoy you?"

"Mostly surprised you can do anything besides game and be a pain in my ass."

His grin turns wicked. "Pretty sure I do more than that to your—"

"Finish that sentence and die."

He laughs, low and warm, but goes back to playing. Something different now. Softer. You hate that you want to ask what it is.

"Didn't take you for a musician." The words slip out before you can stop them.

His fingers stutter on the strings. Just for a second, barely noticeable. But you notice.

"No?" His voice is carefully casual. Too casual. "What did you take me for?"

"I don't know. Professional asshole? Chief Expert in Being Insufferable?" You comment, flicking a small plushie on his bed. "First Chair Fuck-Up?"

He huffs a laugh, but something's off about it. Like earlier with Griffin. That same weird tension.

"Used to play in a band," he says after a moment. Still not looking at you. "Back in high school."

"Let me guess—My Chemical Romance covers?"

"Nah." His smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Original stuff. Mostly."

You wait for more, but he just keeps playing. That same soft melody, over and over. Like he's trying to get it right. Or trying to forget something else.

"It's good."

The words surprise you both. His hands freeze on the strings, eyes snapping to yours.

"The song," you clarify, because apparently your mouth's just doing whatever it wants now. "It's... not horrible."

He stares at you for a long moment. Something shifts in his expression—that cocky mask slipping just slightly. Then:

"Want to hear the whole thing?"

And maybe it's the late hour. Maybe it's the way he's looking at you, all quiet uncertainty beneath that usual swagger. Maybe you're just fucking tired.

"Yeah." You slide down to sit on his floor, back against the bed. "Show me what you got, rogue."

He starts playing something different. Not that angry teenage angst from earlier—this is... softer. More careful. Like he's showing you something he doesn't usually let people see.

Not that you care. Obviously.

The melody wraps around the room, settling into the spaces between your breaths. Your eyes track his hands, the way his fingers move over the strings with a gentleness you didn't know he possessed. It's... nice. Which is annoying. Everything about him is annoying, including the way he makes this look so effortless, the slight furrow in his brow as he concentrates—

Wait.

You know this song.

The notes hit something in your chest—a memory you didn't know you still had.

Your mom's old radio, the one she kept in the garden.

This exact song came on while you were planting flame lilies along the back fence. Then the storm hit—one of those sudden summer downpours that turns the whole world grey.

But instead of running inside like a normal person, your mom just... laughed. Turned the radio up louder, John Mayer's voice competing with the thunder. Grabbed your hands, still covered in dirt, and pulled you into a clumsy dance right there in the rain.

We're slow dancing in a burning room...

You'd both ended up soaked, mud-splattered, spinning in circles while the rain poured down. She'd sung along, completely off-key but not caring. Just you and her and this song, the rest of the world washed away in the storm.

The memory feels wrong now. Too bright. Too clean. Like looking at an old photograph and realizing all the edges have been carefully trimmed, the shadows cropped out.

Because that was before, wasn't it? Before the schedules and the expectations and the constant, crushing weight of—

"Is that—" You cut yourself off, but it's too late. He glances up, catches you staring.

"What?"

You blink. Jungkook's watching you, hands paused on the strings.

"Nothing."

His fingers hover over the guitar. "No, what were you gonna say?"

"Just..." Fuck it. "Pretty sure that's 'Slow Dancing in a Burning Room.' Right?"

Something flickers across his face. "You know Mayer?"

"Unfortunately." You pick at a loose thread on your sleep shorts. "My playlist's not just WAP and Carpool Karaoke, contrary to what you probably think."

He huffs a laugh, but it sounds different. Less cocky asshole, more... something else. His fingers start moving again, picking up where he left off. The notes fill the silence between you, and it's... peaceful? Is that the word? No, that can't be right. Nothing about him is peaceful.

And yet.

"Do you sing too?"

His hands freeze on the strings. Just for a second, but you catch it. The way his shoulders tense, how his jaw ticks slightly before he forces that easy smile back.

"Nah." He starts playing again, but it's different now. Mechanical. "That's... that'd be embarrassing."

There's something in his voice. Something raw that makes you think of earlier, of his panic over Griffin and bread. But before you can chase that thought, he's already shifting gears.

"What, you offering voice lessons, phoenix?"

"As if." You roll your eyes, but you clock the way his fingers are slightly less sure on the strings now. "Just thought maybe you'd want to torture me with your whole package of terrible talents."

"Oh, I've got plenty of talents to torture you with."

"Gross."

But he's relaxing again, that weird tension leaving his shoulders as the conversation drifts back to familiar territory. Safe territory. He keeps playing, and you definitely don't notice how the melody gets smoother, more confident, like maybe he needed the distraction of your bickering to find his rhythm again.

Speaking of distractions—you glance around the room, frowning. "Where's Griffin?"

"Thought he was with you."

"What?" You blink at him. "You never let him sleep with anyone else."

"Well." He sets the guitar aside, stretches like some oversized cat. "You can now."

"I can... what?"

"Have him." He shrugs, but there's something careful in the movement. "For the night. If you want."

You stare at him. He stares back, that almost-smile still playing at his lips.

What the actual fuck is happening right now?

"Who are you and what have you done with my asshole roommate?"

He laughs, and just like that, the weird tension breaks. "Aw, you think I'm yours? That's cute, phoenix."

"I think you're a pain in my ass," you correct, but it lacks heat. Maybe because you're tired. Maybe because he just played something beautiful and shared his cat and you don't know what to do with any of it.

"Only sometimes." He stretches again, shirt riding up. You definitely don't look. "Other times I'm a pain somewhere else—"

You throw the nearest object (a pencil) at his head. "And we're back to normal."

His laugh follows you as you leave, hunting for Griffin. You tell yourself the warm feeling in your chest is just satisfaction at finding new ammunition for future arguments.

He's actually good at something. Who knew?

And if you catch yourself humming "Slow Dancing" as you search for the cat... well. 

Nobody has to know.

Chapter 11: car literature

Summary:

"Halfway across the country to escape your parents' expectations, only to find their voices still echo in your head. Maybe freedom isn't about how far you run, but what you choose to hear when everything goes quiet."

Notes:

OKAY HI LOSERS!!!! Chapter 11 is here, right on schedule like the little miracle worker I am. I actually have ch11, 12, and 13 all done and ready to go but I'm sticking to my posting schedule because SOMEONE (me) knows she'll burn out at some point so you better savor this while it lasts.

Anyway, about Y/N having a car: yes, she has one because I said so and Jungkook doesn't because he's a whole-ass LOSER LMAO. I did love weaving in the reason behind the car though and connecting it to her messy complicated relationship with her parents. God I love how human she is??? Like, she's so conflicted—grateful for what they've done but suffocated by their expectations. THE COMPLEXITY. I'm obsessed with my own creation, forgive me.

I'll give Jungkook some credit here (GASP) because while he has the self-awareness of a potato, he IS observant and perceptive when he wants to be. Boy's too busy coping with humor and deflecting for his own good though. You'll see what I mean… eventually.

Also can we talk about how much I'm LIVING for Y/N and Jimin's growing friendship?? I love how Y/N makes friends for such different reasons—Yeji is the one who makes her feel like she doesn't have to have her shit figured out, Irya is the emotionally intelligent one, and Jimin?? They bond over their shared love of literature and books and isn't that just chef's kiss beautiful?

And I refuse to apologize for the text messages. REFUSE. The texts are staying because I love writing them too much. Deal with it.

FINALLY THOUGH!!! NAMJOON MAKES HIS ENTRANCE!!! MY KING!!! I've actually had him planned since chapter 3 (don't get it twisted), there are hints if you paid attention. But now he's finally here in all his dimpled glory and we love him. Jin, I understand you completely, babes.

ANYWAY. Chapter below. Enjoy bobs bobes and bobas!!!

Chapter Text

The sound of Jungkook stubbing his toe for the third time this morning is, objectively speaking, fucking hilarious.

You hide your smirk behind your mug, pretending to be deeply invested in your FYP as another muffled "shit—motherfucking—” echoes from his room. The apartment has been a symphony of chaos for the past fifteen minutes: doors slamming, drawers banging, what sounds suspiciously like a guitar being knocked over (followed by more creative cursing).

And okay, maybe you're a little evil for enjoying this so much. But come on. Mr. "I Pretend To Have My Life Together" finally overslept, and you get to witness the glorious fallout while calmly sipping your morning coffee. The universe gives you so few gifts. You're allowed to savor this one.

His coffee sits next to yours, made exactly the way he likes it—because yes, you've noticed how particular he is about his precious coffee routine. Two shots of espresso, a splash of oat milk (regular milk upsets his stomach, not that he's ever admitted it), and just a hint of vanilla syrup. You absolutely refuse to acknowledge how or why you've memorized this.

Something crashes in the bathroom. Griffin, lounging on the windowsill, barely twitches an ear.

"Has he always been this much of a disaster?" you ask the cat. Griffin's slow blink feels judgmental. Fair enough.

More thundering footsteps. A drawer slams so hard you feel it in your teeth. You scroll past a video of someone's cute dog, not really seeing it, too focused on tracking the hurricane that is your roommate having a morning meltdown.

"Fuck—where is my—" His voice cuts off abruptly. 

You can practically hear him running his hands through his hair, tugging—that thing he does when he's stressed.

Your phone buzzes with a text from Yeji.

𝐘𝐞𝐣𝐢🖤: 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚑?

You're typing back a quick 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑, 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚝 when Jungkook bursts into the kitchen like he's being chased. His hair is still wet from the shower, shirt only half-buttoned, and—oh. 

Oh no.

He's wearing The Jeans. 

The ones that make his thighs look like they were carved from marble. 

The ones you specifically remember clawing off him that first night, back when he was just Hot Stranger From the Bar. 

You take a very deliberate sip of coffee and absolutely do not think about that.

"Late for something?" you ask innocently, like you haven't been cataloging every crash and curse for the past quarter hour.

He whirls toward you, and for a split second, you catch him completely unguarded—flushed, disheveled, one hand still trying to button his shirt. Then his eyes narrow, landing on the coffee mug next to yours.

"Is that—"

"Just drink it, Rogue." You cut him off, rolling your eyes. "Unless you want to waste more time making your own."

The nickname slips out without permission. You blame it on the early hour, on not having enough caffeine yet. Not on how he looks with his hair still dripping, water darkening the collar of his shirt. Definitely not on how the morning light catches the silver ring on his hand when he reaches for the mug.

He takes a sip. His eyebrows shoot up.

"This is—"

"If you say 'perfect,' I'm dumping the rest down the sink."

The corner of his mouth twitches. "Actually, the extraction time on this is slightly—"

"I swear to god, if you start mansplaining coffee to me at—" you check your phone, "—eight forty-seven in the morning, I will personally ensure you never make it to wherever you're going."

"It's called sharing knowledge, Phoenix." He's already moving again, a blur of motion that somehow manages to look both graceful and completely chaotic. "And the optimal brewing temperature for espresso is—"

"Do you ever just hear yourself talk and think 'wow, I'm really like this'?"

"—between 195 and 205 degrees Fahrenheit, which you'd know if you actually paid attention when I—" He freezes mid-rant. "Wait, what time did you say it was?"

"Eight forty... eight now."

"Fuck. Fuck." He runs both hands through his hair, making it stick up even worse. "I can't be late to this one."

You can't help yourself. "Don't you skip Film Theory like, twice a week?"

"That's—that's different." He's practically vibrating now. "This is the one where we're presenting our—where the fuck is my phone?"

"The thing you set down right here when you grabbed your coffee?" You tap your fingernail against his phone, which has been sitting next to your elbow this whole time. "This phone?"

He lunges for it, and you definitely don't notice how he has to lean into your space to grab it, or how he still smells like his stupidly expensive shower gel. The screen lights up in his hand and—wait.

"Is that Griffin as your lockscreen?"

"What? No." He shoves the phone in his pocket too quickly. "It's—shut up."

"Oh my god, it totally is. Is it the one where he's sleeping in the—"

"I'm gonna be late," he cuts you off, already halfway to the bathroom. You hear him banging around, probably looking for his cologne. The one that makes him smell like rain and...

You glance at the time again. At this rate...

"Want me to take you?"

His head pokes around the bathroom door, hair falling in his eyes. There's a bit of toothpaste at the corner of his mouth that he hasn't noticed. 

"What?"

"My car?" You try to sound casual, like you're not offering to save his ass. "Unless you'd rather take the subway and definitely be late."

He stares at you like you've just started speaking in tongues. 

“You got a—" His brow furrows. "Wait, you got a car?"

"No, I'm offering you a ride on my imaginary unicorn." You roll your eyes. "Yes, I have a car. Had it for like, two weeks now. How have you not noticed?"

"I've been busy!" He disappears back into the bathroom, voice slightly muffled. "And since when do you—why would you even—who has a car in New York?"

"People who don't want to deal with the subway at 2 AM after work?" You raise your voice so he can hear you over what sounds like him knocking over every single bottle in the bathroom. "Also, time check: eight fifty-one."

"Shit." More crashing sounds. "Okay, yes, fine, please drive me, I'll never make fun of your tea collection again."

"That's a lie and we both know it."

You drop your mug gently in the sink, leaving washing for later in the day, next to his. Then grab your bag, your sunglasses too—from where they're perched on top of your head. Walk to the door and wait for Jungkook to finish spraying his perfume before he’s darting out of the tiny room and positioning himself next to you. 

Then you’re out, glasses sliding on as you lock the door. The movement is automatic, practiced—something you picked up during those long drives when the sun would hit just right and—

"Okay, Gossip Girl," he snorts, cutting into your thoughts.

"You haven't even watched Gossip Girl."

"Excuse you, I'm a man of culture." He's half-jogging to keep up with you, which is... something, considering his legs are approximately twice as long as yours. "Blair Waldorf is an icon and Chuck Bass is—wait, no, seriously." He catches up as you reach the elevator. "Why do you have a car? In New York? Who are you?"

The elevator doors slide open with their usual concerning screech. You step in, leaning against the back wall as he follows, hitting -1 with his thumb. The fluorescent lights make the shadows under his eyes more pronounced—definitely up too late gaming again.

"When I signed the lease," you say, watching the numbers tick down, "Miguel mentioned there was an unused garage spot included. It was actually one of my prerequisites."

"Prerequisites," he repeats slowly, like he's tasting the word. When you glance over, he's looking at you with an expression you can't quite read. "You came here on your own?"

You shrug, suddenly very interested in a scuff mark on the elevator floor. 

"Yeah."

"Where from?"

The question hangs in the air between you. It's such a simple thing to ask, really. Basic getting-to-know-you stuff. But something about the way he says it, soft and curious, makes your throat tight.

"Small town," you say finally. "The kind where everyone knows everyone's business and the most exciting thing that happens is when someone paints their fence the wrong shade of beige."

He doesn't laugh like you expect. When you risk another look, he's still watching you, head tilted slightly.

"Must've been quite the change."

"That was kind of the point."

The elevator jolts, making you grab the rail. He doesn't move, somehow keeping his balance like he's got magnets in his shoes or something. Imbecile.

"So what, you just... packed up and drove to New York?" There's something in his voice—not quite disbelief, but close.

"I mean, I applied to NYU first. I'm not completely insane." You're aiming for light, casual, but it comes out a bit defensive. "But yeah, basically. Loaded up the car, picked a playlist, and..." You wave your hand vaguely.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

He's quiet for a moment, and you can practically hear him piecing things together. The way you never talk about home. How you tense up when anyone mentions family. The fact that your room is filled with things you clearly bought after moving in, nothing old or sentimental except—

"The bear," he says suddenly.

"What?"

"The stuffed bear on your bed. The really old-looking one." He straightens up, like he's solved a puzzle. "That's why you got it. It's from before."

Something uncomfortable squirms in your chest. 

“Okay, Detective Kuko, maybe focus on not being late instead of psychoanalyzing my childhood toys?"

The elevator dings, doors sliding open to reveal the garage. He pushes off the wall, but you catch his reflection in the mirrored doors—that little half-smile that he always pulls when he’s being particularly insufferable.

"You know," he says, following you out into the dimly lit space, "for someone who claims to hate nicknames, you sure throw around a lot of them."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Rogue."

His laugh echoes off the concrete walls. "Whatever you say, Phoenix."

The car beeps when you press the button on the key fob, its sound echoing off the concrete walls of the garage. It’s a rundown 2010 Honda Civic, the kind of car that blends into the background of every suburban parking lot. 

The kind your father refused to buy you when you were eighteen and wanted to transfer to a college campus just a bit further away. 

Funny how that worked out for him. You ended up buying this one yourself, and now you’re in New York City—a hell of a lot further away than that first suggestion.

But your chest tightens at the thought, like it always does when you let your mind wander back there. 

What were you even aiming for? 

Retribution

Vengeance

For what? Daddy not wanting to get you a car? When they’ve paid for your tuition all this time, made dinner for you when you stayed up late studying, and even sat through all of the Avengers movies with you despite hating superhero flicks. Your mom would always cut up fruit for you during finals season, leaving little notes on the kitchen counter that said things like You’ve got this! or Proud of you! in her neat handwriting. 

A mix of guilt and frustration gnaws at you. Because what kind of ungrateful asshole feels bitter about something so small when their parents have done so much?

And yet, here you are. Feeling it anyway. 

It’s not like they were bad parents—strict, sure, but not bad. They just wanted what was best for you, didn’t they? 

So why does it still sting when you think about how they dismissed your creative writing journal as a “waste of time” or how they steered every conversation toward practicality and success? Why does it feel like every decision they made for you came with strings attached? Like love was something earned through achievements instead of something freely given?

You grip the keys tighter as if that’ll stop the spiral forming in your head. Because it’s not fair to them, is it? They did their best. They didn’t know how suffocating it felt to have every move scrutinized, every choice second-guessed. 

And maybe—just maybe—you’re blowing it all out of proportion. Maybe they weren’t controlling; maybe you were just too sensitive. Maybe this whole mess is on 

you.

But then again... wasn’t it their fear that kept you tethered to that small town for so long? Their insistence on safety and stability that made leaving feel like rebellion instead of growth

You shake your head, trying to shove those thoughts aside. It doesn’t matter now. You’re here. You made it out. You’re independent and capable and—

“Wow,” Jungkook’s voice cuts through your inner monologue like a knife, dragging you back to reality with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. “This car sucks.”

Your head snaps toward him as he stands there, one eyebrow raised in judgmental amusement. He’s leaning against the passenger door like he’s too good to even touch it properly.

Without thinking, you slam the driver’s door closed with more force than necessary. “Changed my mind,” you snap, glaring at him over the roof of the car. “Go walk.”

He laughs, already folding his stupidly long legs into the passenger seat. "Aw, come on, Phoenix. I'm sure it has... character."

"Get out of my car."

"The duct tape on the mirror really adds something, you know?"

"I will leave you here."

"Is that a Fast and Furious sticker? Did you actually—"

"One more word about my car and you're taking the subway."

He holds his hands up in surrender, but he's still grinning. 

"Wouldn't dream of insulting your..." His eyes dart to the dashboard where the check engine light has been on since you bought it. "Unique vehicle."

"I hate you so much right now."

"No you don't." He starts fiddling with the radio, because apparently personal boundaries mean nothing to him. "Oh my god, is this a cassette player?"

You swat his hand away. "Touch my radio and die."

"But—"

"My car, my rules."

"What are you gonna do, make me listen to your sad girl hours playlist?"

You turn the key in the ignition, the engine sputtering to life with its usual concerning cough. "Bold of you to assume I'd share my playlists with someone who butchers Mayer's solos every night."

"I do not—" He sits up straighter, actually offended. "That was one time, and the strings were new, and—"

"Slow Dancing in a Burning Room doesn't need your creative reinterpretation, Rogue."

And fuck. Why did you have to bring up that specific song? The one he was playing two nights ago, like it was just for you and him in the quiet of the night. 

"Didn't know you were such a Mayer purist, Phoenix." 

You check your mirrors, definitely not watching how he slouches in the seat, all long limbs and morning-messy hair. 

"Seatbelt, Kuko."

"Is that your favorite Mayer song?" 

God, why is he doing this? Making small talk about music like he didn't just watch you have a whole crisis about your car? 

"I guess." You mutter, exiting the garage once and for all.

You merge into traffic, grateful for the excuse to focus on something other than how he's angled his body toward you in the passenger seat. 

But then, because he can’t leave things alone…

"You know any others?"

You lick your lips. Two beats of silence. 

“Some ring a bell." You finally say. Swallow. Change lanes. Don't think about summer evenings and vinyl records and— "It's just that one... brings memories."

Silence, again.

You can feel him watching you, that way he does sometimes when he thinks you're not paying attention. Like he's trying to solve a puzzle but keeps finding new pieces.

Then he sighs, a soft chuckle that does absolutely nothing to your stomach. Nothing at all. 

“Guess I'll have to play some more for you." His voice drops slightly, just shy of teasing. "You know, expand your musical taste."

And what the fuck are you supposed to do with that? With the way he says it—like a challenge, like a promise? With how the morning sun catches his ring when he drums his fingers against his thigh, keeping time to whatever song is playing in his head?

"Bold of you to assume I want to hear more of your mediocre guitar skills."

It's weak and you both know it. 

But he lets you have it, just huffs out another laugh and turns to look out the window. 

And you absolutely do not notice how the sunlight catches the edge of his jaw, or the way his shirt is still slightly wrinkled from his rush this morning.

No. No, you don’t. 

"Wait, you're telling me you've never read Donna Tartt?"

Jimin's scandalized whisper makes you grin as you both push through the library's heavy doors. There's something endearing about how genuinely offended he is by this gap in your literary education.

"In my defense," you whisper back, following him up the stairs to the second floor, "I was a bit busy reading whatever my parents deemed 'appropriate' until, oh, about six months ago?"

He glances back at you, something knowing in his eyes. It should make you uncomfortable—usually does, when people look at you like they understand. But with Jimin, it feels... okay. Maybe because he was there that night at your apartment, quietly positioning himself next to you like a gentle buffer against the chaos.

"Okay, but now you have to read The Secret History." He leads you to what's clearly his usual spot—a corner table partially hidden behind the Classical Literature stacks. "It's like... Dark Academia meets murder mystery meets Greek tragedy."

"You had me at murder mystery, honestly."

He pulls out a chair, dropping his bag with practiced ease. "I actually have my copy here somewhere. The spine's basically destroyed because I've read it so many times, but—"

"Let me guess—you're one of those people who annotates their books?"

His cheeks flush slightly. "Maybe?"

"Oh my god, you totally are." You slide into the chair across from him, already feeling more relaxed than you have all day. "Do you use different colored pens? Have a whole system?"

"...you're making fun of me."

"I would never." You scoff. "I'm simply appreciating your dedication to the literary arts."

He tries to maintain his pout, but you can see the smile fighting through. 

"You know what? For that, I'm not telling you where the secret coffee spot is."

"The what now?"

"Oh, nothing." He starts unpacking his bag with exaggerated nonchalance. "Just a hidden corner where they don't enforce the 'no drinks' policy. But since you're so judgmental about my annotation habits..."

"Park Jimin." You lean forward, lowering your voice conspiratorially. "Are you telling me there's a way I can read and caffeinate without having to dodge the library police?"

"I don't know..." He draws it out, eyes twinkling. "Can you be trusted with such powerful knowledge?"

"I will literally annotate a book right now. Any book. Pick one."

His laugh is barely more than a breath, but it's warm, genuine. 

“Okay, okay. But first—what's your stance on dog-earing pages?"

You gasp. "What kind of monster do you think I am?"

"Just checking." He grins, finally pulling out his battered copy of The Secret History. "Here. But I want detailed feedback on all my margin notes."

You accept the book carefully, noting the well-worn spine, the sticky notes peeking out from between pages. "Did you... color-code your tabs?"

"That's it." He starts gathering his things. "I'm leaving."

"No, wait!" You grab his arm, laughing as quietly as you can. "I actually love it. Really. Show me your system?"

He settles back down, mock-glaring but clearly pleased. "Fine. But only because you actually seem to care about books, unlike some people."

"Let me guess—Yeji ditched the second you mentioned the library?"

"'Sorry, babe,'" he mimics Yeji's voice with surprising accuracy, "'but I only enter buildings with books if they also serve alcohol.'"

You snort. "That tracks."

"Speaking of tracking..." He pulls out his phone. "Want to see my reading spreadsheet?"

"Your what now?"

"It's color-coded by genre, with separate tabs for—"

"Jimin?"

"Yeah?"

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

His smile could power the whole library. "Just wait until I show you my TBR organization system."

And you find yourself smiling back, real and easy, as he launches into an explanation involving multiple apps and something called "reverse timeline sorting." Because yeah, okay—maybe making new friends isn't the worst thing in the world.

Even if they are terrifyingly organized book nerds who probably alphabetize their bookmarks.

Also, the thing about being an English major at NYU is that you end up sharing a lot of classes with the Comparative Literature kids. 

It's not really surprising when you think about it—you're both basically studying books, just from different angles. 

While you're deep diving into English and American literature (thanks to your very traditional parents who would have probably had an aneurysm if you'd picked anything more "experimental"), Jimin's out here analyzing texts from all over the world, looking at how different cultures approach storytelling.

Which is how you end up in at least three classes together this semester. 

Modern Literature with Professor Sullivan on Mondays and Wednesdays (where Jimin always has the most interesting takes on international influences), Contemporary Poetry Analysis (where he somehow manages to connect Emily Dickinson to some obscure Korean poet you can't pronounce), and that one Friday afternoon workshop that everyone dreads but somehow becomes bearable when Jimin starts drawing parallels between Western and Eastern literary traditions.

It's actually kind of perfect. Your English major foundation gives you the deep knowledge of Western canon that his program requires, while his Comparative Literature perspective opens up whole new ways of looking at texts you thought you knew inside out. 

Like right now, as he's explaining how Japanese magical realism evolved differently from its Latin American counterpart, you're seeing 100 Years of Solitude in a completely new light.

Plus, it's nice having someone who actually gives a shit about books. 

Yeji, bless her chaotic heart, thinks anything written before 2010 is "prehistoric," and your other friend from Modern Lit only reads SparkNotes. 

But Jimin? Jimin color-codes his annotations and has strong opinions about Oxford commas. 

Which is probably why, when he suggested studying together, you didn't even hesitate. Because yes, okay, maybe you've been a bit... selective about making friends since moving to New York. 

But someone who understands why you got emotional about Woolf's use of semicolons? That's the kind of friend worth having.

"Okay, but consider this," Jimin whispers, sliding his Contemporary Literature notes across the table. "What if we compared Murakami's use of magical realism with García Márquez? Because I swear there's a connection between Kafka on the Shore and 100 Years of Solitude that no one talks about."

You lean forward, scanning his impossibly neat handwriting. Of course his notes are color-coded. "For the Modern Lit essay?"

"Yeah, Professor Sullivan mentioned wanting unique perspectives, right?" His eyes light up the way they only do when discussing books. "And since you're taking Modern Literature and I've got Comparative Lit Theory this semester..."

"A cross-course analysis?" You tap your pen against your notebook, mind already racing. "That's... actually brilliant?"

"Really?" He perks up, then immediately remembers to lower his voice when someone at the next table glares. "Because I was thinking, with your focus on contemporary Western literature and my background in Eastern literary traditions—"

"We could explore how different cultural interpretations of magical realism intersect!" You're probably too excited about this for a library setting, but whatever. "Jimin, you're literally a genius."

He ducks his head, but you catch his pleased smile. "I mean, you're the one who brought up the cyclical narrative patterns in class last week. I just thought maybe we could..."

"Collaborate?" You're already flipping to a fresh page in your notebook. "Please tell me you're not working with anyone else for the final paper."

"Was kind of waiting for the right partner." He gives you a pointed look. "Someone who wouldn't just make me do all the work."

"Unlike some people we know?"

"I'm not naming names, but..." He glances around conspiratorially. "Let's just say I've already witnessed Yeji's approach to required reading in our shared Literature and Gender class last week."

"Do tell."

"She showed up to discuss Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own and asked, completely seriously, if it was about interior design." He shudders dramatically. "Then tried to argue that her TikTok research should count as academic sources."

You have to stuff your fist against your mouth to muffle your laugh. 

"She did not."

"Direct quote: 'But professor, this BookToker made some really good points about, like, the feminist undertones and stuff.'" He pulls out his laptop, already opening a fresh document. "So, partner? I mean, we're only two weeks into the semester, but I can already tell you actually read the material. Plus, I've got access to some really interesting papers on Japanese magical realism through the Comparative Lit database."

"Only if you let me buy you coffee at Jin's after this." You pause. "Wait, is that weird? Am I being weird?"

His smile is soft, understanding. "Not weird at all. But only if you let me show you my favorite translation of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. The annotations are chef's kiss."

"God, you really are a book nerd, aren't you?"

"Says the person who got excited about cyclical narrative patterns."

"...touché."

He starts typing, fingers flying over the keys. "So, structure-wise, I was thinking we could start with a brief overview of traditional magical realism in Latin American literature, then transition into..."

You settle in, watching him outline your shared project with the same methodical care he probably uses to organize his bookshelf. 

And maybe it's the quiet of the library, or the way afternoon sun filters through the stacks, but something in your chest feels lighter. 

Because this—this easy back-and-forth about books and ideas—this is what you came to New York for.

"Oh!" Jimin's whisper breaks into your thoughts. "We should definitely include the cat symbolism in both texts. Speaking of..." He glances up from his screen. "How's living with Griffin?"

"The cat or his stupid owner?"

The words slip out before you can stop them. Jimin's eyebrows shoot up, a knowing look crossing his face that makes you want to hide behind your textbook.

"Why? Wanna talk about his owner?”

"I meant—that's not—he is stupid!" You grab your water bottle just to have something to do with your hands. "Whatever. We should focus on the magical realism thing."

"Mhm." He's still giving you that look. "Whatever you say. But you know, if you ever want to talk about... cats..."

"I will literally throw this book at you."

"The annotated one? You wouldn't dare."

"Try me, Park."

His quiet laugh makes a few people look over, but you can't bring yourself to care. Because somehow, in the span of an afternoon, you've gained both a study partner and what feels like a real friend.

Even if said friend is now wiggling his eyebrows at you every time you try to redirect the conversation back to Murakami.

Your phone buzzes against the table, making Jimin glance up from his color-coded notes. 

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚛 𝚞 𝚛𝚗

You roll your eyes, typing back quickly.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚕𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚓𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚢

The three dots appear. Disappear. Appear again. Your screen lights up with his reply.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚛 𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚍𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝟷𝟻𝚖𝚒𝚗? 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝟺𝟶

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝟺𝟶????

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚝𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚢

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚖𝚐

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞,𝚟𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝟺𝟶 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚘? 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚍 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚞𝚖? 🥺

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚞

Your fingers hover over the keyboard because—what the fuck is he saying right now? What does he mean?

But then.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝟻 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎

Fucking bitch-ass motherfucker. 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚏𝚏

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎???

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚗𝚊𝚑

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚘

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜 🤢

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚍𝚔 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚖𝚢 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚘

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚎 𝚛 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚍𝚎𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚙𝚜? 

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚓𝚘𝚋 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝟻 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝙸𝙽𝚂𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙳

𝐘𝐨𝐮: "𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚔, 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡”

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 🙄

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝟺𝟶 𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚗 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛 💅

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚝𝚏𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝟺𝟶

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗’𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚡 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙𝚜 𝚞 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚡

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚘𝚌𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 😏

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝙴𝙼𝙾𝙹𝙸???

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎

Read 4:47 PM

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙰 𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚆

Read 4:48 PM

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑

Read 4:49 PM

You shove your phone in your bag. Whatever. You've got actual priorities here—like making real friends who appreciate literature and don't judge your drink choices (does he?).

"Actually," you say, straightening up and pulling out your Modern Lit syllabus, "let’s go to Jin’s right now. Because I could use a caramel frappuccino, and I'd love to hear more about your take on Murakami's symbolism."

Jimin's whole face lights up. "Really? Because I have thoughts about the significance of wells as transitional spaces in—"

"Lead the way, book nerd." You start packing up your stuff, already feeling more centered. "But fair warning—I will absolutely judge your coffee order if it's anything boring like plain black."

"You order everything with extra whipped cream, don’t you?”

"It's called having taste, Jimin. And yes, I want the little chocolate sprinkles too."

His laugh echoes through the stacks as you both head out, earning a few glares that you can't bring yourself to care about. Because this? This is exactly what you need. Good conversation, sugary drinks, and someone who gets genuinely excited about literary analysis.

Your phone stays silent in your bag. You don't even think about checking it.

After all, you've got more interesting things to focus on—like whether Jin will let you convince him to add extra caramel to your drink, or finally having someone who understands why you cried over that one Sylvia Plath poem.

Because honestly? There’s just something deliciously satisfying about choosing exactly how you want to spend your afternoon. 

And right now? That means ordering the sweetest drink on the menu and diving deep into a discussion about magical realism with someone who actually gets it.

Sometimes the best kind of freedom is just... doing whatever the fuck you want.

The thing about Jin is that he treats his coffee shop like it's a kingdom and he's the benevolent (but definitely judgy) ruler.

"Well, well." He quirks an eyebrow as you and Jimin push through the door, the familiar smell of coffee and old books wrapping around you like a hug. "Where's the demon child?"

"Yeji's allergic to studying." You lean against the counter, already eyeing the pastry display. "Breaks out in hives if she gets too close to academic pursuit."

Jin snorts, wiping his hands on his apron. "That tracks. Haven't seen you in a few days—were you actually at the library? Or is this some elaborate cover story?"

"Studying, actually." You gesture to Jimin, who's hovering politely beside you. "With actual books and everything. Jin, this is Jimin. Jimin, this is Jin, who makes the best coffee in the East Village but will definitely judge your order."

"I don't judge." Jin's mouth twitches. "I merely... evaluate life choices."

Jimin waves shyly. "Nice to meet you. Yeji's mentioned this place a lot."

"All lies, probably." Jin's already moving to the espresso machine, hands automatic in their movements. "What can I get you both? And Y/N, before you say it— no, I will not make you one of those abominations with eight pumps of syrup."

"Rude." You straighten up, pretending to study the menu like you don't order the same thing every time. "Fine. Latte with cold foam?"

He rolls his eyes, but there's fondness there. "Let me make you something better. Just got a new blend in—Ethiopian, hints of blueberry. You'll love it."

"Bold of you to assume I can taste anything beyond sugar."

"Trust me." He turns to Jimin. "And for you?"

"Just an americano, please."

You whirl around. "That's so sad."

"Shut up." Jimin shoves your shoulder lightly. "Not all of us need a sugar high to function."

"Your loss." You're already heading toward your usual spot—eyeing the different tables and settling for the corner one with the best lighting and a perfect view of both the street and the counter. "Come on, I'll show you where—"

"Ah ah." Jin's voice stops you. "Not that one."

You turn back, eyebrow raised. "What? It's empty."

"Someone sits there."

"I literally see no bag?" You gesture at the conspicuously empty table. "No books, no laptop, no nothing."

"Someone," Jin repeats, voice somehow both firmer and more amused, "sits there."

"But—"

"Y/N." He gives you that look, the one that somehow makes you feel like a kid being gently scolded. "Pick another table."

You glance at the mysterious empty table, then back at Jin, then at the table again. Because what the actual fuck? Since when does Jin reserve tables? And for who? 

But he's already turned back to the espresso machine, humming something under his breath, clearly considering the matter closed. 

"Come on." Jimin tugs your sleeve, pointing to another corner. "That one looks good too."

You let him lead you away, but not without throwing one last suspicious look over your shoulder. Jin pretends not to notice, but you catch the slight smile playing at his lips as he starts grinding coffee beans.

Weird. Very weird.

You sigh loudly, and woah okay you’re starting to sound like Yeji now. Her energy is definitely rubbing off on you. You take your stuff out along with Jimin and start chatting right away.

"All I'm saying is," you whisper-rant to Jimin, still bitter about this morning, "if someone makes you coffee, you say thank you. You don't launch into a TED talk about optimal brewing temperatures like some pretentious—"

The bell above the door chimes, and holy shit.

HOLY. SHIT.

The man who walks in is... 

Well, first of all, he's tall. Like, unfairly tall. 

And he's wearing these round glasses that should look dorky but somehow don't, perched on a face that belongs in one of those aesthetic academic Pinterest boards. His blonde hair is slicked back in a way that screams 'I definitely know about wine pairings', and his light blue dress shirt paired with navy pants is giving very much 'yes, I read Proust for fun.'

But it's the way he carries himself—confident but not cocky, with a laptop bag swinging gently by his thigh—that really catches your attention. 

That, and how Jin's whole demeanor shifts when he sees him.

"Joon!" Jin's voice is different—warmer, maybe? "The usual?"

The man—Joon, apparently—smiles, and oh. Oh. That's just unfair. Because he's got actual dimples. Like, dimples dimples

They chat for a moment, their conversation too low to hear from where you're sitting, but you catch Jin gesturing toward... wait

Toward the table. 

THE table. 

The one you were just exiled from.

Namjoon nods, that devastating smile still in place, and heads straight for what is apparently his designated spot in Jin's kingdom.

You narrow your eyes. Who exactly is this mysterious dimpled giant with table-reserving privileges? And why does Jin look slightly pink around the ears as he starts making what is presumably 'the usual'?

"Hey?" Jimin waves his hand in front of your face. "You good?"

"Sorry, just..." You tilt your head toward the table-stealer. "Trying to figure out who managed to get permanent dibs on prime real estate in here."

Jimin turns, trying (and absolutely failing) to be subtle about it. Then he makes a small choking sound.

"Oh god," he whispers, whipping back around. "That's Professor Kim."

You blink. "Professor who now?"

"Namjoon Kim? From the English department?" When you continue staring blankly, he adds, "He teaches Literary Criticism in my major? Published in like, every major literary journal? Youngest professor in the department?"

"That's a professor?" You peek over again, watching as he sets up his laptop with methodical precision. "Why does he look like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like..." You gesture vaguely. "You know. Like that.”

"Please stop staring," Jimin hisses. "He's brilliant and terrifying and I have to present in his class next week."

"Terrifying?" You snort. "The man has dimples, Jimin. And his glasses are literally round. He looks like a very tall teddy bear who probably reads Keats for fun."

"He once made someone cry by asking them to explain their interpretation of a Emily Dickinson poem."

"Okay, but was their interpretation wrong?"

"Y/N."

"What? I'm just saying—"

Jin appears with your drinks, setting them down with more force than strictly necessary. "Stop gossiping about my customers."

"We're not gossiping," you protest. "We're... conducting academic observation."

"Mhm." He raises an eyebrow. "How's that new blend?"

You take a sip of whatever fancy coffee he made you, and... oh. Oh.

"This is..."

"Better than your sugar milk?" His smirk is unbearable. "You're welcome."

He walks away before you can argue, heading back to where Professor Dimples is apparently grading papers, judging by the red pen in his hand.

"Don't even think about it," Jimin warns.

"Think about what?"

"Whatever you're plotting. I can see it on your face."

"I'm not plotting anything!" You take another sip of your annoyingly perfect coffee. "I just think it's interesting that Jin never mentioned having a designated professor spot in his shop."

"No."

"What? I'm just being observant."

Jimin looks like he's regretting every life choice that led him to befriend you. "Can we please just focus on Murakami?"

"Fine." You pull out your notes, but you can't help stealing one more glance at the mysterious professor. "But just so you know, anyone who makes students cry over Emily Dickinson is definitely going on my list of people to investigate."

"I'm pretending I didn't hear that."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jimjim."

20 minutes pass by. 20 minutes of Jimin humming as he searches articles on the web. 20 minutes of you two now doing your individual assignments for your different classes. 20 minutes of you nearly losing your mind over yours. 

"Who," you groan, slumping over your laptop, "decided that writing a comparative analysis of post-modern narrative structures was a good idea for week two? Week two, Jimin. I still haven't figured out where half my classes are."

Jimin chuckles, leaning over to point at something on your screen. "Look, if you connect these two themes here—"

You lift your head just enough to glare at him. "I will literally pay you to write this for me."

"No you won't."

"You're right, I'm broke. But I'll owe you my firstborn."

"Still no."

"My soul?"

"Bold of you to assume you still have one after declaring an English major."

You're about to argue that your soul is perfectly intact, thank you very much, when you feel it—the weight of someone's gaze. You glance up and oh fuck.

Professor Dimples is looking right at you, one eyebrow raised slightly above those round glasses. Because of course he heard your entire breakdown about his colleague's assignment. Of course he did. 

You drop your eyes back to your laptop so fast you probably give yourself whiplash. Maybe if you slouch low enough, you'll just... dissolve into the floor. That's possible, right? 

Jimin swats your arm. "Stop being dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic," you whisper-hiss. "I'm just saying, who assigns a five-thousand word analysis before we've even figured out the coffee situation on campus?"

"Having trouble with Professor Lee's class?"

You freeze. Because that voice—deep, warm, and definitely coming from right next to your table—belongs to exactly who you think it does.

Slowly, you look up. Professor Kim is standing there, coffee cup in hand, looking far too amused for someone who apparently makes students cry over poetry.

"I, uh—" Words. You know words. You're literally majoring in them. "No? I mean, yes? I mean—"

"She's struggling with the comparative analysis assignment," Jimin supplies helpfully, the traitor. "The one about narrative structures in post-modern literature."

"Ah." Professor Kim's dimples make an appearance. "Mind if I...?" He gestures to the empty chair at your table.

What are you supposed to say? No? To the professor who apparently has permanent dibs on the best table in Jin's? Who probably knows seventeen ways to destroy your GPA with a single red pen mark?

"Sure," you manage, shooting Jimin a panicked look that he completely ignores.

Professor Kim settles into the chair, setting his coffee down carefully. "The thing about post-modern narrative structures," he says, like he's sharing a secret, "is that everyone overthinks them."

You blink. "What?"

"It's actually quite simple." He gestures to your laptop. "May I?"

You turn the screen toward him, watching as he scans your document. His brow furrows slightly, and you resist the urge to slam the laptop shut and run away.

"See, here—" He points to a paragraph. "You're actually onto something interesting. The way you've connected the unreliable narrator to the fragmented timeline... that's good. You're just getting caught up in the academic language instead of trusting your instincts."

"My... instincts?"

"Mhm." He takes a sip of his coffee. "Tell me—without thinking about theory or criticism or any of that—why did this particular narrative choice catch your attention?"

You open your mouth. Close it. Because honestly? "It reminded me of those dreams where you're trying to remember something, but the memory keeps slipping away? Like, you know it's important, but every time you get close, it sort of... dissolves?"

His smile widens. "Write that."

"What, the dream thing?"

"Exactly that. In exactly those words." He leans back, looking pleased. "That's what post-modern literature is about—the messy, fragmented way our minds actually work. Not the polished academic analysis we think we're supposed to write."

From behind the counter, you hear Jin snort. "Are you corrupting my customers with your literary theories again?"

"Always," Professor Kim calls back, and something in the way they smile at each other makes you think of your earlier observations.

"Thank you," you say, already starting to rework your intro paragraph. "That actually helps a lot."

"Any time." He stands, gathering his coffee. "And Y/N?"

You look up, surprised he knows your name.

"Don't worry too much about Professor Lee's assignments. He likes to seem tough in the beginning, but..." He adjusts his glasses with a slight smile. "Let's just say I've heard his Emily Dickinson lectures. Man cries every time."

As he heads back to his table, you turn to Jimin with wide eyes.

"Did that just happen?"

"Yep."

"And did he just..."

"Give you permission to basically write your paper in normal human language? Yep."

"Huh." You look between your laptop and Professor Kim's table, where he's already absorbed back in his grading. "Maybe the dimples aren't so terrifying after all."

"Please stop talking about our professor's dimples."

"I'm just saying—"

"Whatever you're about to say, don't."

Fair enough. You turn back to your laptop, fingers hovering over the keys. 

Maybe this assignment won't be so bad after all.

Even if you do kind of want to investigate why Jin keeps stealing glances at Professor Kim's table and thinking he’s being subtle about it. 

Chapter 12: vanilla coffee

Summary:

"There's a science to making perfect coffee, he says. But there's no science to explain why watching him make it—shirtless and sleep-rumpled—makes you forget every reason you shouldn't want him."

Notes:

Listen. LISTEN. I don’t know what kind of demonic possession took over me while writing this chapter, but I had zero control over my own hands. Like, the coffee scene? The mug sharing? The delicious moment??? I AM IN HELL. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I started this chapter with the intention of them being petty little gremlins about vanilla-scented products, and somehow it ended with Jungkook making a whole latte just to flex on Y/N. A LATTE. And don’t even get me started on the mug proximity crimes. The way Y/N is actively short-circuiting over his hands and forearms like a Victorian woman seeing ankle for the first time?? We are ALL in trouble. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

And then—oh, god—the sweatpants menace. If you know, you know.

As always, please send thoughts, screams, and existential crises to the comment box. Love you, stay hydrated, and if a man ever offers to elevate your coffee… RUN. (Or sit in his lap. Your call.) (¬‿¬)

Chapter Text

Good tired is still tired.

Your bag hits the dining table with a thud that perfectly matches how your brain feels right now—heavy and slightly bruised. 

7PM. 

You gave him way more than forty minutes. Actually gave him two whole hours, not that you're counting. 

Not that you care. You're just... observant.

But then you catch it—that familiar scent hanging in the air. Vanilla. Your mind immediately goes to that specific vanilla body wash that costs way too much but is the only thing that doesn't make your skin break out.

Oh, he fucking didn't.

Your fist connects with his door maybe a bit harder than necessary. There's a loud thud from inside, followed by what sounds like someone falling off a bed, then a muffled "shit” before footsteps approach.

The door swings open and—oh.

Oh no.

He's shirtless, because of course he is. Hair a disaster, eyes heavy with sleep, that stupid silver ring catching the light as he runs a hand down his face. There's a pillow crease on his cheek and he looks... soft. Which is absolutely not what you need right now when you're trying to be angry.

"What," he growls, voice rough with sleep, "is your problem?"

Right. Anger. Focus on that.

"My problem?" You gesture vaguely at the air between you. "My problem is you letting random hookups use my shit!"

His brow furrows, like he's trying to process your words through a fog of interrupted sleep. Then his expression does this complicated thing—confusion to understanding to something else you can't quite read.

He presses his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Phoenix, I didn't." When he looks at you again, he seems more awake. "I told her your stuff was off limits."

"Then why does it smell like—"

He brushes past you, heading toward the bathroom, and you absolutely do not notice how warm he is when he passes. Or how he still smells like rain under the vanilla.

"Are you seriously walking away while I'm—"

He stops so suddenly you almost run into him. Turns. Points at the coffee table.

"It's your candle."

You follow his finger and... oh.

There's one of your vanilla candles burning quietly on the table, nearly at its end. Which means it's been lit for...

He groans, running a hand down his face again. "You said to open the windows, and I just..." He waves vaguely at the candle. "Whatever."

"You..." The words aren't quite computing. "You lit my candle?"

"You told me to air out the apartment."

"So you used my candle to get cozy with some random—"

"For fuck's sake, Phoenix." He looks like he's regretting every life choice that led him here. "I lit it because you like these stupid vanilla things, okay? Thought it'd make the place smell nice when you got back."

Oh.

Something warm and uncomfortable squirms in your chest. Because that's... that's actually kind of...

"Well." You cross your arms, refusing to acknowledge the weird feeling. "Maybe ask next time before using my stuff."

"Maybe don't ghost me for two hours when I asked for forty minutes."

"I was studying!"

"With your phone on silent?"

"Some of us have actual academic responsibilities, Rogue."

His mouth twitches. "Some of us have other responsibilities."

"Yeah, bet ‘pussy eating’ looks great on a résumé.”

“Didn’t eat her pussy. Just fucked it.”

You grimace. “TMI.”

He shrugs. “You brought it up.”

“You were the one bragging about responsibilities like it’s a noble calling.”

“Hey, takes dedication. Skill. Stamina.” A smirk. “Not my fault you’re fixated on it.”

Fixated—

“Right. Just like I’m fixated on your four-hour recovery nap.”

“Wasn’t napping the whole time.”

“Gross.”

“You asked.”

“I literally didn’t.”

He's fighting a smile now, you can tell. Which is annoying because you're trying to be mad about your candle. Or your body wash. Or... something.

"Whatever." You turn toward your room, because this conversation needs to end before you do something stupid like thank him for thinking about the smell. "Just ask next time."

"Before lighting your pretentious vanilla candles?"

"They're not pretentious."

"They're thirty dollars each."

"How do you know how much they—" You spin back around. "Have you been looking up my candles?"

"No."

"Oh my god, you totally have."

"I was curious why they cost so much when they all smell the same!"

"They do not all smell the same, you absolute heathen."

He raises an eyebrow. "French Vanilla and Vanilla Bean are literally the same thing."

"I'm not having this conversation with someone who probably thinks Old Spice is a personality trait."

"At least I don't need a PhD to buy soap."

"No, you just need—" You stop, narrowing your eyes. "Wait. How do you know what's in my shower?"

"You know what?" He stretches, and you absolutely do not track the movement with your eyes. "All this talk about vanilla is making me crave coffee. Specifically..." He grins, slow and deliberate. "Those vanilla capsules you hide in the back of the cabinet."

"Don't you dare—"

"The ones behind the protein powder?"

"Those are mine." You follow him as he saunters toward the kitchen, still annoyingly shirtless. "I specifically said they weren't for you."

"Come on, Phoenix." He's already moving toward the kitchen, all loose limbs and bare chest like putting on a shirt is beneath him. "Let me show you how to actually make coffee. Teach you some culture. Some technique."

You swat at him as he passes. "I know how to use a coffee maker."

"Sure you do." His laugh is rough with sleep, and you hate that you notice. "That's why you murdered a perfectly good espresso shot this morning."

"I did not—"

"The beans were crying, Phoenix. I heard them."

But you're already following him to the kitchen because apparently you hate yourself. 

He's wearing those stupid gray sweatpants that hang just low enough to be illegal in at least three states, and his hair is still a disaster from sleep, curling at the nape of his neck.

"First rule," he says, running his hands over the coffee maker like it's something precious, "is respecting the machine."

"It's a coffee maker, not royalty."

"See? No respect." His fingers dance over the settings with practiced ease. "That's why your coffee tastes like sad bean water."

You lean against the counter, watching as he measures grounds with ridiculous precision. 

"My coffee tastes fine."

"Your coffee tastes like betrayal and broken dreams." He adjusts the grind size, movements quick and sure. "You probably think instant coffee is acceptable."

"Only when I'm feeling particularly spiteful."

His horrified gasp is so dramatic it actually makes you laugh. "You're a monster."

"Guilty."

He shakes his head, tamping down the grounds with absolutely unnecessary focus. The muscles in his forearms flex with the movement, and you definitely don't notice. Just like you don't notice how his hands look wrapping around the portafilter, or how his ring catches the kitchen light when he locks it into place.

"Watch," he says, flipping switches with the confidence of someone who definitely spent too much time watching barista tutorials on YouTube. "This is where the magic happens."

"It's coffee, not alchemy."

"Shh. You're ruining the moment."

The machine hums to life, and okay—maybe you can kind of see why he's so precious about it. There's something almost hypnotic about the way the espresso streams out, dark and perfect.

"See how it's not running too fast?" He's fully in teacher mode now, gesturing at the flow. "That's what you want. Nice and steady. Not that waterfall disaster you created this morning."

"Are you done being pretentious yet?"

"Never." He grabs your vanilla capsules—the ones you specifically told him not to touch—and starts steaming milk. "But I'll make it worth your while."

"By stealing my coffee?"

"By elevating your coffee." The milk pitcher moves in his hand like it's an extension of his arm. "You'll never want that chain store stuff again."

"Bold of you to assume I want anything you make."

His smile is all trouble. "Liar."

And okay, maybe he has a point. Because the drink he slides across the counter a few minutes later looks... kind of perfect. The foam is glossy and smooth, and the vanilla smell hits just right.

"Well?" He raises an eyebrow, waiting.

You take a sip and—fuck.

Fuck.

"It's..." 

No. You refuse to give him the satisfaction.

But he's already grinning, the bastard. "Say it."

"Absolutely not."

"Come on, Phoenix." He leans forward, elbows on the counter. "Admit it. I made your vanilla whatever-the-fuck better than you ever could."

"I will literally die first."

"That good, huh?"

You flip him off, taking another sip instead of answering. But then he's there, right there, and when did he get so close? His fingers brush yours as he takes the mug, gentle but deliberate, and your throat goes dry.

He holds your gaze, something dark and playful dancing in his eyes. Doesn't ask permission with words—just tilts his head slightly, the question clear in the quirk of his mouth. And you should say something. Should stop him. Should—

The mug touches his lips. Your lips were just there. Three seconds ago, your mouth was exactly where his is now, and that shouldn't make your stomach clench but it does.

His eyes are too much. Too dark, too intense, too fucking knowing as he takes a slow sip. Have they always been this brown? This smoky? Like whiskey in low light, like trouble wrapped in honey. 

The kind of eyes that should come with a warning label: Danger. Side effects may include stupid decisions and ruined underwear.

His tongue darts out, catching a stray drop on his lower lip. Slow. Deliberate. The silver ring on his hand catches the light as he lowers the mug, and his voice drops to something husky.

"Delicious."

Nope. Absolutely not.

You snatch the mug back, ignoring how your fingers tingle where they brush his. "Make your own, you coffee nerd."

Retreat. Strategic retreat to the couch is definitely the smart play here. Because your brain is currently short-circuiting, trying to process how one word—one stupid, fucking word—in that voice can make your thighs press together.

His laugh follows you, low and knowing. The sound wraps around you like smoke, like the way he smelled that thunderstorm night, like—

Griffin chooses that exact moment to slink into the living room, green eyes judging you both as he hops onto the windowsill. He stretches, impossibly long, before curling into a perfect orange circle, pointedly turning his back to you both. 

At least someone in this apartment has standards.

Focus. You're focusing.

But then you hear him moving behind you. The quiet rhythm of his breathing, the soft appreciative hums as he works the coffee maker. The whisper of fabric as his sweatpants shift with his movements. Each sound feels magnified, like your brain has decided to process everything in HD surround sound.

Don't look back. Don't do it. Don't—

Fuck.

You glance over your shoulder and immediately regret every decision that led to this moment. Because his back is a work of art, all broad shoulders and defined muscle, and it's not fair. It's not fucking fair that even from behind he's attractive enough to make your mouth water. The way his shoulder blades move as he works the machine, the dip of his spine disappearing into those low-hanging sweats, the unruly hairs curling at his nape...

Snap your head forward. Drink your coffee. Stop being a horny disaster for five consecutive minutes.

But you can still hear him. Still feel his presence behind you like a looming cloud. Still taste the ghost of his lips where they touched the same spot yours did on the mug.

This is fine. Everything is fine. You're just tired and touch-starved and maybe a little worked up from your stupid assignments—

"Want another taste, Phoenix?"

His voice is closer now, right behind you, and you absolutely do not shiver. "Didn't anyone teach you to drink your own coffee?"

"Didn't anyone teach you that stealing tastes better?"

You refuse to turn around. Refuse to acknowledge how his words squeeze your chest. "You're impossible."

"You like impossible."

And that's... that's not something you're equipped to handle right now. Not with him standing there all sleep-warm and shirtless, voice rough like gravel, smelling like rain and coffee and sin.

"I like peace and quiet," you lie, taking another sip of your rapidly cooling drink.

His laugh is soft, dangerous. "Liar."

The couch dips as he drops down next to you, thigh pressed against yours like he owns the space. Like personal boundaries are just suggestions. He has a mug in hand now, and his coffee smells kind of amazing and you hate him for it.

You shift away, but his hand lands on your thigh—warm, heavy, there. His fingers span the width of it easily, and your brain helpfully supplies memories of those same fingers in other contexts. 

It doesn’t escape your notice, how his eyes linger on where your shorts have ridden up your thighs from your hours in the library. 

"No," you manage, swatting his thigh with yours.

"No what?" His voice is still rough from sleep, and it's doing things to you. Unfair things.

"No manspreading next to me." You try to sound annoyed instead of affected. "Keep your sweaty balls to yourself."

He squeezes your thigh, just once. Just enough to make you want to throw the mug at him. Or yourself. "My balls aren't sweaty."

"Bet they are.”

"Want to check?"

"You're actually the worst." But you don't move his hand. Why aren't you moving his hand?

"That's not what you said last time."

And fuck him for bringing up last time. Fuck him for smelling like rain and coffee and sleep-warm skin. Fuck him for the way his thumb is drawing absent circles on your thigh, like he's not even aware he's doing it.

"Lapse in judgment."

His laugh rumbles through you, too close, too much. "Which time?"

"Pick one."

"I'd rather pick you up."

You turn to tell him exactly where he can shove that line, but it's a mistake. Because he's right there, all heavy-lidded eyes and sleep-soft mouth, and your brain fizzles. His hair is still a mess, curling at his temples, and you want to grab it. Want to find out if it's as soft as it looks. Want to—

"You're staring, Phoenix."

"Untrue."

His fingers flex on your thigh. "Big word for someone who can't stop looking at my mouth."

"I'm not—" But you are. You absolutely are. "Shut up."

"Make me."

Always those two damn words. Always saying ‘make me’, like he knows how it riles you up. Like he likes how it riles you up. His eyes are dark, dangerous, and you can feel his pulse through his fingers on your thigh. Or maybe that's your pulse. Everything feels too hot, too close, too—

"Your coffee's getting cold," you manage, voice embarrassingly breathy.

His smile is slow, knowing. "Yeah?”

His eyes drop to your shorts—the ones you've been wearing all day, the ones that rode up your thighs during your study session. And okay, maybe they're a little too short. Maybe you felt Jimin's concerned glance when you stretched in the library. But it's not your fault the AC in your car is temperamental at best.

"These can't be comfortable after sitting in the library all day," he murmurs, fingers playing with the hem. “Could help you out of them."

"Thought you were tired from your afternoon activities."

"Second wind." His thumb traces the seam where it cuts into your thigh. "Come here."

You raise an eyebrow, ignoring how your body wants to lean into his touch. "I am here."

"No," and his voice drops lower, rougher. "Here." He pats his lap, and the casual confidence of it irritating. Hot. Irritatingly hot. "Unless you're scared."

"Of what? Your ego?"

"Of how bad you want it." His eyes flick to your chest, where your shirt dips just low enough to be interesting. "Been thinking about these shorts all day. Since you drove me to class."

"Didn't realize my driving skills were such a turn on."

"Your driving skills are terrible." His hand slides higher, testing. "But watching you grip the steering wheel..."

You swallow. "That's kind of pathetic."

"Yeah?" His fingers find the spot where your shorts meet skin. "Then why are you breathing so hard?"

"Because you're annoying me."

He laughs, low and dangerous. "Hop on, Phoenix. Let me annoy you properly."

"That's your big move? 'Hop on'?"

“As long as it gets you on top of me...” He smiles now, actually smiles. “I’d say it’s working.”

And fuck him for being right. Fuck him for the way his eyes are all pupil now, for how his skin is still warm, for how he smells like everything you want to taste.

"You're awful," you breathe, but you're already shifting closer.

"Show me how awful."

His fingers hook through your belt loop and suddenly you're being yanked forward with zero warning. The squeak that leaves your mouth is embarrassing.

"Rude," you swat at him, but he catches your wrist easily. His hand is so warm around your cold skin.

"C'mere," he breathes, and before you can process it, you're straddling him. 

His hands slide down to grab your ass, fingers digging into the flesh and pulling you closer until you fall forward, catching yourself with hands on either side of his head.

He hums, the sound vibrating through you where you're pressed against him. And—yeah. Well. That's definitely not his phone in his sweats.

"Ride me?" The way he says it is almost lazy, but his eyes are dark, hungry. That half-lidded look that means tarnation.

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Phoenix." His fingers flex on your ass, making you rock against him. "Don't be mean."

You raise an eyebrow, trying to ignore how good he feels under you. "Mean?"

"Been hard since I saw you in these fucking shorts this morning." He bites his lip, looking up at you through his lashes. "Just thinking about your thighs spread over my lap like this..."

"That sounds like a you problem."

His laugh is breathless, a little wild. "I’ll make it an us problem."

"Thought you were tired from earlier."

"Different kind of tired." His hands guide you into a slow grind against him. "This is more... inspiration."

"You're actually insane."

"Yeah?" He rocks up, making you gasp. "Feeling pretty sane right now. Feeling like I really want you to—fuck—" 

You'd rolled your hips, just to shut him up. Just to wipe that cocky smirk off his face. But now he's looking at you like you’re his favorite dessert, and his hands are everywhere, and—

"That's it," he breathes, voice gone raspy. "Just like that, come on..."

He guides your hips into another roll, watching you with that hungry, hazy look. His thumbs dig into your hipbones, controlling the pressure, the pace.

"Been thinking about this," he breathes, voice rough. "How you'd look bouncing on my cock. How your tits would—fuck—" You grind down harder, feeling him twitch against you. "Haven't even gotten to see them properly yet."

"Poor you," but your voice shakes when his hands slide up under your shirt, spanning your ribs.

"Poor me," he agrees, thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts. "All I got was that quick fuck against the window. Then you cumming on my tongue." His eyes are dark, pupils blown. "But this? Getting to watch you ride me? See these bounce while you—"

"You talk too much." You're trying for annoyed but it comes out breathy.

"Make me shut up then." His hips snap up. "Come on, Phoenix. Show me how well you can take it, yeah?"

"That's your big plan? Get me all worked up in the living room?"

“Getting worked up anywhere you’ll let me.” His fingers find your nipples through your bra, rolling them until you arch. “Been waiting to get you like this. Spread out on top of me, swallowing me deep in this greedy pussy…”

You let out a breathy laugh, grinding down just to spite him. “Yeah?” Your voice is pure teasing, but the heat is real. “She didn’t wring you out completely?”

His grip tightens on your waist, nails pressing in just enough to make you feel it. “Seems like she didn’t.”

You hum, dragging your hips forward again, slow and deliberate. “Mm. That’s a shame.”

“Yeah?” His voice dips, rough and taunting, but his hands—his fucking hands—are already shoving your shirt up, fingers tracing up your spine before yanking your bra down just enough to expose you. His thumb drags over one nipple, his breath warm against your throat. “You wanna fix that?”

You pretend to consider, rolling your hips again, dragging your pussy right over the thick ridge of him. Fuck. He’s not even inside you, and it’s already so good.

“I don’t know,” you murmur. “Wouldn’t want to overwork you.”

His laugh is sharp, incredulous. “Nix.” His voice is wrecked—the kind of hoarse, hungry sound that goes straight to your cunt. “You feel what you’re doing to me?” He thrusts up, slow but deep, and you suck in a breath. “Think I’m fucking tired?”

And yeah, okay. He’s still hard as fucking steel beneath you. Still needy. Still looking at you like he’s seconds from losing what little patience he has left.

“It’s these fucking shorts,” he mutters, grabbing a handful of your ass like he wants to leave bruises. “Oh my god, this fucking ass.”

You hold back a laugh, rolling your hips again, enjoying the way his breath stutters. “That easy, huh?”

His hands tighten on you. “You know what you do to me.” His mouth finds your throat, teeth scraping just enough to make you quiver. “S’why you wore these, right?”

You don’t answer, just reach between you to shove down his sweatpants, dragging them low enough to free his cock. And—fuck. He’s so hard it’s almost obscene, thick and flushed and already leaking. 

“Jesus,” you mutter, running a teasing finger up his shaft, watching his stomach tense. “Didn’t even get a full reset, did you?”

His jaw flexes. “No.” A muscle in his cheek jumps as he watches you wrap your hand around him. “The fuck do you expect when you walk around in these little fucking—” His breath hitches when you thumb over the head, smearing the wetness there. “Shit—shorts. The second I saw you, I knew—”

“You knew what?” You press the question into his skin, lips just beneath his jaw, hand still working him slow.

His grip on your ass tightens, grounding, punishing. “Knew I was gonna end up inside you tonight.”

And fuck. That sends a fresh wave of heat through you, has your thighs squeezing around him. Because yeah, okay, maybe you had the same thought the second you walked in and saw him standing there in nothing but those damn sweatpants.

But there’s still one thing gnawing at you. One thing that makes your brain fight for a fraction of control through the heat.

“Did you use condoms?”

His head snaps up, brow furrowing like you just asked if water is wet. “Of course I did. Who the fuck do you think I am?”

You exhale, relief flooding through you faster than the heat pooling low in your stomach. 

“Okay, fuck. Okay.” You swallow. “Where are they?”

And Jungkook—fucking Jungkook—instead of answering, he grabs your tits. Both hands, rough and impatient, unclasping you bra like it personally offended him.

“Jesus—wait—” You barely manage to lift your arms before he’s yanking it over your head, flinging it somewhere behind him.

“You on the pill?” he murmurs, barely pausing his focus on your tits.

“No.” You don’t even hesitate.

And to his credit, he doesn’t either. “Okay. Condoms it is.”

Respectful. A menace, but respectful.

You barely have time to process that before his fingers are pressing into the small of your back, guiding you forward, making you press flush against him as he leans toward the coffee table.

And you—because apparently you’re both equally insane—just let him.

His other hand reaches forward, jerking open the small drawer in the coffee table, fishing out a foil packet with practiced ease.

“You keep condoms in the living room?”

Jungkook doesn’t even blink. “Yeah. Just in case.”

“In case?” Your eyebrows shoot up. “Don’t you fuck in your room like normal people?”

“Yeah?” He grabs the foil packet, tossing it onto the couch beside him before his hands are right back on your waist, thumbs sliding under the waistband of your shorts. “But, y’know… just in case you wanted it.”

Your brain short-circuits for a second. “Me?”

“You, Phoenix.” He squeezes your hips like he’s grounding himself, like he has to touch you while he says it. “I usually fuck in my room. But you and me—we already did it against the window, so I figured…” He shrugs, casual as ever. “Might as well be prepared.”

“I—” You blink, processing, trying to form actual thoughts. “That’s crazy.”

He shrugs, so fucking nonchalant it’s unfair. “Is it?”

“Yes.”

“Think about it.” His mouth curls, eyes flicking from your mouth to your bare chest and back again. “Imagine I had to stop and go all the way to my room right now.” He pauses, letting the implication settle. “Wouldn’t that just kill the mood?”

And okay. You do snort at that.

Because this is ridiculous.

Because this is actually thoughtful.

Because he’s still hard as a rock under you, talking about condom logistics while casually groping your ass, like he’s planning for a fire drill and not fucking you senseless on the couch.

“No, like. You’re a complete nut case,” you murmur, shaking your head.

“Quick access,” he corrects, and then—fuck.

His mouth is on your tits again.

No hesitation, no teasing buildup, just his tongue dragging over one nipple, warm and slick before closing his lips around it.

Your breath catches, fingers twitching where they brace on his shoulders. “Jesus—”

He hums against your skin, like this is just an extension of the conversation. Like he can talk about fucking you and have his tongue on your tits in the same breath.

And then, because he’s Jungkook and apparently completely fucking obsessed with your chest, he moves to the other one, sucking deep and slow, like he’s savoring it.

“Can’t help it,” he mutters against you, voice rough. “Tits too fucking perfect.”

Which—okay. You shouldn’t preen at that, but his mouth is so fucking warm, and his hands are so fucking big—

Your nails dig into his shoulders, and his breath stutters.

And then he’s leaning back just enough to look up at you, lips slick, pupils blown. “You gonna let me fuck you cowgirl now, or you wanna keep pretending we’re still talking?”

You poke at his dick playfully, watching with satisfaction as it twitches immediately.

His breath stutters, eyes flicking up to yours, but he doesn’t say a word. Just watches—completely absorbed—as you pluck the condom from the side and roll it down over him, slow and deliberate.

His jaw flexes, lips parting slightly, and when you glance up, you catch it—his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, hard enough to leave a mark.

“Fuck,” he mutters, voice all low and wrecked.

You smirk, dragging your fingers back up his shaft just because you can, because you like making him twitch, like how he watches you like he’s seconds from losing his mind.

His hands are already on your thighs when you lift up, finally removing those tiny ass shorts—but when your fingers hook into your panties, he stops you.

Keep them.”

You blink, brows furrowing. “What?”

“Fuck, I don’t know.” His hands skim up, palms rough against your bare skin. “They’re red and lacy and fucking beautiful—” His voice breaks off into a sharp exhale as he shifts under you, cock nudging against the damp lace between your legs. “Just shove them to the side and let me fuck you like this.”

Heat licks down your spine, and fuck, maybe it is kind of hot—his voice raw, gaze locked where you’re already so wet for him.

“Yeah?” You drag the fabric aside, slow and teasing, letting him see what he’s about to have. “You want me to ride you like this?”

“Nix.” His voice is all smoke and gravel. “Fucking sit on it.”

Your fingers tighten on his shoulders.

And then, in one swift motion, you sink down onto him.

“Fuck—”

Jungkook shudders, breath breaking apart as he bottoms out inside you, hands clamping down on your hips so hard it’s murderous. His fingers dig deep into your skin, like he’s fighting the urge to slam you down harder, deeper, but he doesn’t—he just grips, holds, feels.

And fucking watches.

Because this—this—is his favorite.

The way you stretch around him, the way he can see it, can watch himself disappear inside you from this angle. The lace of your panties bunched to the side, the way your slick coats his cock, the slow, obscene drag as he throbs inside you.

His jaw clenches, his head falling back, but his eyes stay locked on where your bodies meet. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

You suck in a breath, thighs trembling slightly, trying to adjust to the stretch, the pressure, the way he fills you completely. You brace your hands on his chest, feeling the hard planes of muscle shift beneath your palms as he groans deep in his throat.

“You feel that, Nix?” His voice is rough, wrecked. “Feel how deep you’re taking me?”

You bite your lip, trying not to squirm at the way that sounds coming from him, the way his cock pulses inside you like he can feel every little squeeze.

His grip on your hips flexes. “Come on, let me hear you.”

You swallow hard, already feeling too fucking warm. “I—”

“I what?” His hands slide down, palms rough and greedy as they find your ass, grabbing handfuls, spreading you just to push inside you deeper. “Fuck, Phoenix, you feel so fucking good.”

Your thighs twitch, heat licking up your spine, and okay—okay, maybe that makes something inside you tighten. The way he wants you to feel it. The way he sounds like he’s barely holding on.

“Look at you. Sitting so fucking pretty on my cock like this.”

Your breath stutters.

“Fuck—” His fingers flex again, grip punishing, possessive. “Knew you’d look good like this. In this position. Been dreaming ‘bout it.”

You exhale shakily, pressing your palms harder against his chest, feeling his heart pound beneath your hands.

“Yeah?” The word slips out before you can stop it, quiet, breathless, barely more than an exhale. 

And then, even as much as you convince yourself you hate dirty talk—his dirty talk—how you tell yourself it’s cringe… You find yourself engaging. You find yourself slipping

“You wanted me in this position, Ro? Riding you?”

And Jungkook? He fucking relishes on it.

“Yeah,” he rasps, dark eyes flicking up to yours, mouth curling slow, dirty. “Getting bold on me, Phee?”

Heat rushes up your throat, your pulse pounding, but you don’t look away. You can’t—not with the way he’s looking at you, not with how deep he is inside you.

“God,” he groans, hands gripping your ass again, spreading you wider just to watch himself sink into you even more. “You should see how you look right now.”

His voice is wrecked—half-growl, half-moan—and you have to fight the way your thighs want to squeeze around him, hold him there.

But he notices.

And grins.

“Fucking knew it,” he mutters, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “You like hearing it, don’t you?”

You suck in a sharp breath, fingers twitching on his chest. “Shut up.”

“Nah.” He tilts his head, thumbs digging into your skin, grounding, teasing. “Think I finally got you to like it.”

And fuck—fuck—you can’t even argue, because his cock twitches inside you and your whole body reacts, a shiver running up your spine.

His smirk widens. “See?”

You exhale sharply. “Rogue.”

“Phoenix.” His hands tighten again, his voice a slow, taunting drawl. “C’mon, yeah? Ride me.”

Your thighs flex as you lift yourself up, the slow drag of him leaving you just enough to make you whimper, then you sink back down, faster this time, harder.

Jungkook’s jaw goes slack, hands gripping your ass like he’s barely holding himself together. “Christ—”

But you don’t stop. You can’t stop.

You move again, rising and dropping, setting a pace that has his breath coming out in ragged exhales, his nails biting into your skin. Every inch of him stretches you open, fills you up, makes your stomach coil tighter and tighter.

And then—

His right hand moves.

Fingers slipping lower, rough against your skin, then lower, lower

Until he’s spreading you.

His fingers part your folds, stretching you open wider just so he can watch himself disappear inside you.

“For fuck’s sake Ro—”

“Shit,” he exhales, low and wrecked, eyes locked on where his cock is sliding in and out of you, the obscene wetness coating both of you. “Look at that. Fucking dripping for me, Phoenix. Can’t help it.”

Your thighs shake, breath shuddering, and you want to tell him to shut the fuck up—but you can’t, because you may not see it, but you feel it. The way your body takes him, how slick and messy it is, how deep he’s buried every time you drop back down.

It’s filthy. He’s filthy.

“You’re so nasty,” you gasp, nails digging into his chest for balance.

He laughs, dark and smug. “And you fucking love it.”

Before you can snap back, he finally—finally—looks up at you.

And his breath stutters.

Because, of course, in this position, your tits are bouncing.

His pupils blow wide, throat working through a hard swallow, and then—his hands fly up immediately.

Grabbing. Palming. Squeezing.

“Fuck,” he groans, voice breaking apart, gaze flicking between your tits and your face like he doesn’t know where to look first. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—”

His grip on your waist tightens, nails digging in, and then—his head falls back. His chest rises and falls beneath your hands, breath coming in sharp, desperate pants.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he gasps, voice wrecked, low and so needy you almost mewl, because you’ve never heard him like that. “Gonna cum so fucking bad—”

Your rhythm stutters. “Don’t you dare finish before me.”

“Fucking—” He grunts, muscles tensing beneath you as his hands clamp down harder, like he’s fighting it, trying to hold on, but— “Oh my fucking god, Phoenix—”

You can feel him struggling—his thighs trembling beneath you, abs flexing tight, his cock twitching inside you, buried so deep.

“How the fffffuck—” his breath shudders, “do you expect me—Jesus Christ—to hold b-back when your tits—god—”

His hands are everywhere—palming, grabbing, fucking worshiping your chest like he’s possessed—and then his mouth is there again, latching onto your right tit, tongue flicking over your nipple, sucking deep and wet.

“Shit,” you whimper, back arching.

“Fuck—fuck—” 

He suddenly leans back, dragging you down hard onto his cock as he thrusts up to meet you, hips snapping with short, frantic rolls.

Your breath shatters, thighs burning, your whole body jolting with every desperate slam of his hips. 

And his eyes.

Jesus.

His eyes are locked on you, wide and hungry, flicking between your parted lips and your chest.

And then—

“Grab ‘em,” he pants, voice rough, ruined. “Fuck—grab those titties for me, Phee.”

Your stomach flips.

“Grab’em while you ride me—” His breath catches, his abs flexing. “Fucking—God, I need to see it—”

Heat floods your spine, your pulse pounding as you do what he says—palms sliding up, gripping the soft weight of your tits, squeezing just enough to lift, to move, to give him exactly what he wants.

And his reaction—

“Jesus fucking—” His head falls back hard against the couch before snapping back up, completely fucking wrecked. “Oh my god—look at them—look at you—fuck, fuck—”

His fingers dig into your hips, forcing you down harder, thighs flexing beneath you as he thrusts up, trying to get deeper, trying to burn this into his brain.

“Oh god, oh god, Phoenix— I swear to fucking God—” His hands slide down, gripping your ass. “Fucking dripping— so messy for me—”

His voice breaks on a groan, hips slamming up, chasing it, his body seizing up as he loses it.

“Shit—shit—I’m—oh my god—fuck—I’m cumming—”

And then—he snaps.

His grip on your waist locks, his whole body tensing beneath you, and his head tips back, mouth falling open as he moans—a deep, raw sound from the bottom of his fucking chest.

He creams inside the condom, hips jerking up in short, shallow thrusts, pulsing thick and hot as he spills into it.

His hands shake as they guide your hips down, grinding you onto him, milking every last drop, needing to feel every second of it.

And you—

You’re about to sigh, about to roll your eyes, because seriously? He just came? You haven’t even—

But before the frustration can even fully settle, he moves.

One second, he’s slumped against the couch, breathless, spent

The next—he’s flipping you onto your back.

Your gasp barely leaves your lips before his hands are on your thighs, gripping, spreading you open like it’s his fucking right, pushing your knees toward your chest.

And then—no hesitation.

No questions asked, no smug teasing, no half-assed effort—just his fingers shoving your panties back to the side, replacing his cock with two thick fingers, burying them inside you like he already fucking knows you can taste it.

Your breath shatters. “Jesus—”

“Shh,” he murmurs, focused, dark eyes locked on your pussy as his fingers curl, stretching you open, pressing deep. “Not leaving you hanging.”

And fuck—fuck—his thumb.

Right there, dragging over your clit, pressing just right with slow, deliberate circles.

Your thighs twitch, your hands clenching in the couch cushions as your body jolts from the sudden shock of pleasure. “Oh—fuck—”

“That’s it,” he groans, gaze flicking up to watch your face, your wrecked fucking expression as he fingers you open. “Gimme that pretty little shake—know you’re close.”

You barely process your own whimper before he’s pressing in harder, thrusting his fingers faster, his thumb working you like he owns your orgasm.

“You think I’d leave you like that?” His voice is low, hushed, wrecked, pressing filthy into the space between you. “Think I’d fucking cum and not make you lose your mind, too?”

“Ro—”

“Nah, Phoenix.” His fingers drive into you, slick and obscene, thumb relentless. “You’re gonna cum all over my hand—” he leans in, breath warm against your throat, “and I’m gonna watch every fucking second of it.”

His fingers pump into you, wet and filthy, every slick thrust echoing between you. And god, the sounds are just so fucking obscene it makes you want to die a little.

“Come on, give it to me, Phee,” Jungkook rasps.

You can barely breathe. His thumb keeps dragging over your clit in these slow, devastating circles, the pressure just right, and your whole body is trembling, your thighs twitching where he holds them open.

“Listen to that,” he groans, gaze flicking down, mesmerized. “So fucking wet for me. Making a mess all over my hand.”

And then his mouth is on you again.

He latches onto your tit, sucking deep, tongue flicking over your nipple before pulling off just to groan against your skin. 

“God, your vanilla shit Phoenix. Makes you taste so good. Could suck on these all fucking day—”

“Jungkook—”

“Yeah? You gonna cum?” 

Your back arches, hands flying to grip his arms because—fuck—fuck. The pressure is too much, his fingers so deep, his mouth so hot, and you’re right there—right fucking there—

“That’s it,” he groans, hand drenched, your walls pulsing around his fingers. “Come on, give it to me.”

And then—

It hits.

Pleasure rips through you, fast and all-consuming.

And Jungkook—fucking Jungkook—just groans, watching you fall apart.

“Mm, yeah that’s it,” he mutters, fixated on the way you shake, the way your pussy flutters around his fingers, soaking his palm. “So fucking good, huh?”

His name slips out in a wrecked, shattered moan, and he loves it, enjoying every sound, drinking in every twitch and tremble.

He finally slows his movements as you shudder through the aftershocks, his fingers still deep, thumb pressing lazy circles to wring out every last second of it.

“Shit,” he murmurs, voice a little breathless, and when you manage to blink down at him, he’s staring at his own hand—glistening, messy, coated in you.

His throat works.

And then—his eyes flick back to yours.

And he fucking grins.

Jungkook collapses on top of you.

Full weight. No warning. Just dead fucking weight pressing you into the couch, knocking the air from your lungs.

“Oh my—get off!” You yelp, struggling beneath him, but he doesn’t budge.

“Nnngghh,” he groans into your neck, voice muffled, completely ignoring you. “Shut the fuck up and let me rest for five minutes.”

You blink up at the ceiling, absolutely fucking done. “Weren’t you sleeping, like, thirty minutes ago?”

“Your point?” His breath is warm against your skin, his body solid and heavy, still way too fucking hot from everything that just happened.

“My point,” you grumble, wiggling under him, “is that you’ve done literally nothing today except nut and nap, so why are you tired?”

“Because,” he mutters, arms tightening around your waist, “I’m a growing boy.”

You snort, smacking his bare back. “You’re a menace.”

He just hums, pressing his face into your neck like he’s about to fall asleep right there, and for a second, you let it happen—just breathing, the two of you still wrecked, bodies cooling down, silence stretching.

But then—

“Oh, shit—”

Jungkook jumps, suddenly wide awake, jolting upright so fast he nearly knocks you off the couch.

You blink up at him, still catching your breath. “What the fuck is wrong with you—”

“Wait—” He leans over you, hands on either side of your head, eyes huge and excited. “Do you have any toys?”

You stare at him. “What?”

Toys,” he repeats, fully invested now. “Sex toys, Nix. I didn’t even think about it, but—fuck—I could’ve made you finish with one.”

You blink again, brain scrambling to catch up. “No?”

His brows furrow. “Why not?”

“Why would I—” You sit up slightly, pushing at his chest. “Do I look like I came here with a full-ass sex kit?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, genuinely baffled, “don’t you girls have dildos and shit?”

“Oh my fucking—” You shove his shoulder. “Do you really think when I was packing my shit to move in, I was like, ‘mmm, yeah, definitely need to bring my dildo’?”

His eyes narrow. “So you had one?”

“No—”

“So you’ve never had one?”

“No, Ro, my parents would’ve killed me.”

He pauses, frowning like he’s actually considering that for a second. Then, with absolutely zero hesitation—

“Okay, then we’re going toy shopping.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, no, fuck that.” He waves a hand, like this is a done deal, like you don’t even get a say. “You’re getting something. I refuse to believe you’ve gone your whole life without at least a vibrator. That’s a crime.”

“A crime?”

“Yes.” His face is serious, like this is a personal offense to him. “You deserve to cum even when I’m not here.”

“I don’t need you to cum.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

“Oh my fucking—” You drop your head back against the couch, groaning. “You’re so stupid.”

“I’m being a good friend.” He grins, smug as hell. “And an amazing fuck buddy.”

“We are not friends.”

He blinks. “What?”

“We’re not friends.” You cross your arms, looking him dead in the eye. “Fuck buddies. No friends.”

Jungkook gasps, pressing a hand to his chest like you just deeply wounded him. “That hurts.”

“You’ll live.”

“Aren’t we, like, friends with benefits or something?”

“No.” You shake your head. “Fuck buddies. No friends. Just the benefits.”

“That’s the stupidest logic I’ve ever heard.”

“Coming from Mr. Stupid himself? Woah.”

“Pft. Right.” He stretches, cracking his neck, still grinning like an idiot. “Then we’re going this weekend.”

“To what?”

“Buy you a vibrator.”

“Fuck you.”

“Bet.”

You swat at him, grin still on his face and all. 

Chapter 13: twists and tangles

Summary:

"You didn’t really want a vibrator… until you kind of did. Maybe it’s because his charm has worked on you (as usual). Or maybe it’s because of that glimpse of rawness you saw underneath. Either way, lunch with Taehyung was definitely not in your plans today."

Notes:

OKAY. So. This chapter is where you finally start understanding why this fic is called Fuck Me Up. Because this? This is fucked up. He’s fucked up. She’s fucked up. They are two disaster-coded individuals holding hands and running full speed into the abyss, and I? I am just the storyteller documenting their inevitable demise. The dots? THEY ARE DOTTING. I told you this would happen!!! You thought I was playing??? This is just the tip of the iceberg, the appetizer of destruction, but I’m so happy to finally nudge things a little further along.

And look—I COULD HAVE dragged this out longer, because I love watching you all suffer. But your collective breakdown was seeping into my soul, and I had to do something before you started sending me carrier pigeons demanding answers. So. Here. A name. A villain. Someone other than me, God, or Satan for you to curse. Welcome to the narrative, Mia. May your Yelp reviews burn in hell.

NOW. If you still don’t pick up on the trauma tells after this, I will physically throw myself into the nearest moving train. I am placing them in front of you on a platter. The finances? RECURRING THEME. Taehyung? MOVING WEIRD. Jungkook? ONE (1) WRONG TEXT AWAY FROM AN EMOTIONAL COLLAPSE. The constant deflections. The emotional walls. If you miss these, I cannot help you. That’s between you and God.

And before any of you come into my inbox whining—YES, Y/N is pushy. YES, she’s immature. YES, she says shit she shouldn’t. That’s the WHOLE POINT. She was raised in an environment where control was love, where boundaries didn’t exist except as things imposed on her. She doesn’t know how to handle them properly. She was never taught how to set or respect boundaries in a healthy way. She is learning in real time. She doesn’t have your upbringing. She doesn’t have your experiences. PLEASE. USE. YOUR. BRAINS. I will not be changing her so two of you can stop crying in my inbox every time she opens her mouth.

That being said, I do love you all. Most of the time. Occasionally. When you’re not being insane. And some of you? Some of you, I just want to kill.

With kindness!!! :D


(And a knife.)

Chapter Text

You don’t even know how the fuck you ended up here.

It’s the weekend now, almost three weeks in, and somehow, somehow, you are in a sex shop with your nemesis-turned-sex-buddy, watching him inspect vibrators like a man on a fucking mission.

Like. Seriously inspecting them.

Jungkook’s standing there, brows furrowed, tongue prodding the inside of his cheek, turning over different boxes in his big veiny hands like he’s analyzing the specs of a new gaming console.

And you—

You are just kind of standing next to him, arms crossed, glancing around with mild disinterest, wondering when exactly your life took this turn.

“Come on,” he says, barely glancing at you, still deeply invested in the toys. “Which one do you want?”

You blink. “What?”

Pick one.” He turns to you fully now, one brow lifted. “You’re not leaving here empty-handed.”

“Literally don’t care.”

“Nooo, come on.” He huffs, exasperated, looking around like the perfect vibrator is just waiting to be discovered. “You have to pick one. What about—” His eyes land on something, and his whole face lights up. “Oh, shit, what about the rose? I heard it’s good.”

Your gaze follows his pointing finger.

A small, red, flower-shaped device sits in its box, looking all innocent and delicate.

You stare at it.

Why the fuck is it a rose?

Like. What marketing genius sat in a boardroom and thought, ‘Oh my god broskis, let’s make sex toys for women shaped like roses, because girls are roses and pink and gentle and pure—’

What the fuck.

Why can’t there be a dragon vibrator or something? 

A skull vibrator.

You almost laugh at that. That would be so fucking funny.

It would fit Yeji so well, actually. A gothic, black, skull vibrator sitting proudly on her nightstand, next to a collection of anarchist literature.

Meanwhile, Irya? The rose toy. No hesitation.

And why the fuck are you thinking about your sapphic, in-a-healthy-relationship friends while standing in a sex shop with your fuck buddy?

You shake your head, clearing your thoughts, and take a step toward the dildos.

Which are—

Okay.

What the fuck.

Because why are there so many sizes.

Like, sure, you knew there would be options, but there is a horse-sized dick just casually sitting on display, and who in their right mind—

“Oh, shit,” Jungkook whistles from beside you, also staring at the sheer monstrosity. “That’s fucking insane.”

You cross your arms, deeply unsettled. “Who could even fit that inside?”

“I mean…” He squints. “Some people have range.”

“That’s not range,” you deadpan. “That’s a medical emergency.”

Jungkook bursts out laughing. “Fair.”

His hands land on his hips, taking in the absolute carnage of sizes before him, and then he shrugs. “But, hey, you know—” He gestures vaguely at the selection. “Maybe this is your moment to be adventurous.”

You stare at him. “If you even suggest that I buy the fucking horse dick, I’m leaving you here.”

“What?” He lifts his hands in surrender, grinning. “Just saying. You never know until you try.”

You try it.”

He snorts, eyes scanning the shelves again. “Nah, I’m happy with my God-given talents.”

“Debatable.”

“Bullshit.” He reaches out and plucks a suspiciously realistic dildo from the shelf, waving it in your direction. “This one?”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

“You’re so picky.” He laughs, putting it back, and then he turns back to the vibrators, completely unbothered, like this is just a normal, casual Saturday and not the most unhinged shopping trip of your life.

“Alright,” he says, reaching for another box, examining it like he’s about to buy a new car or something. “Let’s get back on track. So you’re telling me you really don’t want the rose?”

You sigh, rubbing your temples. “No, Rogue.”

You watch Jungkook as he inspects yet another vibrator, flipping the box over like he’s comparing processor speeds or something. He’s so deep in thought, jaw slightly clenched, eyes scanning the back of the packaging like he’s about to make an informed purchase.

And you just—

You have to ask.

“Why are you so focused on vibrators?”

He hums, distracted. “What?”

Vibrators,” you repeat, waving at the wall of them. “Why not dildos? Don’t most people start there?”

“You’re a clit girl,” he says absently, barely even acknowledging the weight of the words as he turns another box over in his hands.

You blink. “The fuck does that mean?”

He doesn’t answer immediately, still staring at the fine craftsmanship of whatever overpriced device he’s holding. But then, finally, one of his eyebrows quirks like you’ve just asked the dumbest question imaginable.

“Phoenix.” He exhales, finally turning to you, looking slightly exasperated. “You cum through your clit. So, granted, a vibrator is best suited for you.”

You stare.

What the fuck is he even talking about? Isn’t the clit the whole point? Like, what else are you supposed to be cumming from?

“Is that supposed to be some kind of revelation?” you ask, crossing your arms. “Do you think I’ve been under the impression that my orgasms were coming from divine intervention?”

Jungkook finally drops the toy back onto the display, shaking his head. 

“I’m saying,” he starts, turning to face you fully, “some women can finish from penetration alone. No clit stimulation, nothing. Just dick.”

You squint. “That sounds fake.”

“It’s not.”

"How does that even work?"

"It's just how their bodies are built," he says, shrugging, but there's something mechanical in the way he delivers the information. Clinical. Like he's reciting from a textbook rather than speaking from experience. "Where their nerve endings are. Internal structure, whatever. Some girls get off from penetration alone, some need both, some can't come from penetration at all."

You tilt your head, studying him. "And you just know this?"

He goes still in that way that isn’t actually stillness.

It’s containment

Like something sharp is pressing up against the inside of his ribs and he has to lock his muscles to keep it there. His fingers twitch before curling into his palms, just barely, like he’s holding something back. 

Like maybe he doesn’t even realize he is.

"My ex," he says finally, voice carefully neutral. Too neutral. As if he's trying very hard to keep it that way. "She had... opinions about how things should work."

And—yeah.

He's definitely not smiling anymore.

There's something about him right now that's screaming at you not to push. It's in the tight line of his shoulders, the way his hands have slipped into his pockets like he needs to physically contain them.

But you've never been good at holding back, and curiosity is a bitch.

"So..." You pick up a random vibrator, pretending to study it like you actually care about its ten vibration modes. "Your ex taught you all about female anatomy?"

His laugh is too sharp. "Something like that."

"Must've been quite the education."

"Phoenix." 

It’s a warning.

But you're already committed to being an idiot.

"What?" You twirl the vibrator in your hand like a professor's pointer. "Just trying to understand the extensive knowledge base here. Since when are you such an expert on—"

"Since I had to be." 

The words come out flat. Not casual, not even resigned—just… like he’s reading them off a list someone else wrote. Reciting, not remembering. 

Like it’s not something he ever got to choose.

"You done?" He says then.

"Not really." You follow him as he moves down the aisle, ignoring the way his shoulders go even stiffer. "So what, she gave you a crash course in female pleasure? Made you take notes?"

"Drop it."

"Was there a practical exam? Did you get extra credit for—"

He spins so fast you almost run into him.

"You really want to know?"

Something in his voice makes you pause.

Makes you actually look at him—at the tight line of his jaw, the way his eyes have gone flat and distant. Like he's not fully here anymore.

Your instincts scream at you to back off.

Your brain screams at you to dig deeper.

"Yeah," you say, because you have no self-preservation skills whatsoever. "I do."

He studies you for a long moment, like he's weighing something. 

Then his mouth twists into something that's not quite a smile.

"She used to tell me exactly what I was doing wrong," he says, looking away. "Like a fucking Yelp review after every hookup. One star, would not recommend, needs improvement in all areas—" He waves his hand vaguely, trying to play it off as a joke.

You snort despite yourself. "She left reviews?"

"Oh yeah. She was thorough." His laugh is sharp, but he keeps his tone light, keeps moving like if he just acts casual enough, it won't matter. "Used to give me a full post-game analysis. Where I needed improvement. Where I failed completely. Bullet points. Diagrams. Really professional."

"That's..." You watch him fidget with the box in his hands. "Actually kind of insane?"

"Insane is one word for it." He turns back to the display, movements a bit too controlled, too precise. "So yeah, I learned. Because the alternative was—” 

He cuts himself off. 

Swallows.

Thickly. 

“Anyway, I don’t need another PowerPoint on my shortcomings.”

He's joking

You can tell he's trying to make it funny.

Trying to brush it off like it's nothing. 

"Whatever," he mutters instead. "Point is, you're a clit girl. Trust me on this one."

But there's something in the way his fingers keep twitching, the way his jaw keeps working, that makes your stomach turn.

You should let it go.

You should absolutely not push when he's radiating do not touch energy like a nuclear reactor.

But.

But.

“The alternative was what?”

He exhales sharply through his nose. “Phoenix.” 

“Just asking.”

“Yeah?” His eyes are dark now. “How about we talk about your daddy issues instead? Since we’re sharing.”

You reel back. “I don’t have—”

Please.” He scoffs, shaking his head. “You flinch every time someone mentions parents. Get this look in your eyes like you’re about to bolt.” His laugh is hollow. “But sure, let’s keep talking about my ex. That seems healthy.”

Your stomach turns. “I was just—”

“Being nosy?” He picks up another vibrator, movements sharp, eyes focused on nothing. “Yeah, got that. Here’s a crazy idea: how about we stick to the present?”

Message received. Conversation over.

Fine. You can take a fucking hint.

You exhale, shifting your focus back to the display in front of you, pretending you give a shit about which vibrator has the longest battery life.

Next to you, Jungkook huffs a breath, tilting his head toward a very questionable contraption. “Oh, look. This one has a suction function. Maybe you can use it to fix that attitude of yours.”

You snort. “I’d rather use it to drown out the sound of your voice.”

“Wow.” He grins, sharp and smug. “Doesn’t even own a vibrator yet but already talking shit. Impressive.”

Back to familiar territory. 

Easy banter.

Tension dissipated.

You’re still mentally rolling your eyes at him when something catches your attention over the top of the shelf.

And—

No fucking way.

You blink. Stare.

No fucking way people actually use that shit.

Before your brain can even fully process what you’re doing, your hand shoots out, grabbing Jungkook’s wrist.

“Hey—”

“Come here.” You tug him forward with purpose, leading him toward the display in question.

And then you gesture broadly at the lineup of full-sized sex dolls staring blankly back at you.

Jungkook takes one look and bursts out laughing. “Holy shit—”

“You’re fucking joking,” you snort, pointing at one that has dead, glassy eyes and a wig that looks superglued to its head. “People seriously get off with this?”

“Apparently.”

“How?” You squint, stepping closer, trying to comprehend how the fuck someone could get turned on by something that looks like a haunted mannequin. “They look so fake. And immobile—”

“Maybe some guys don’t like back talk.”

You whip around. “Excuse me?”

You stare at him. He’s holding back a chuckle, if that shit-eating expression of his is any indicator. Clearly being a jerk on purpose.

Yeah, this is the Jungkook you know. 

He grins, hands slipping into his pockets, eyes gleaming with amusement. “Just saying.”

“Right,” you scoff, turning back to the display, still deeply unsettled. “But, like, how do you even stick your dick inside something like this and cum? It looks like a human but isn’t—and it’s not even reacting. That’s fucking weird.”

“Dunno,” he muses, tilting his head. “Maybe it’s the thrill of no complaints.”

“Oh my god.” You slap his arm. “I take personal offense on behalf of all women.”

“Okay, okay, I’m kidding!” he laughs, eyes scanning the selection before suddenly—his expression lights up. “Oh, shit. Look, this one kinda looks like you.”

Your head snaps up. “The fuck it does—”

But then you see it.

And.

Oh fuck off.

Because it’s one of the more realistic-looking ones, similar skin tone, and a facial expression that, okay, fine, vaguely resembles your standard deadpan glare.

Jungkook is grinning like a fucking idiot. “Same eyes, same bitchy expression—”

“Shut the fuck up,” you groan, shoving his shoulder, but he just laughs harder.

“I’m serious,” he says, clutching his stomach. “She even looks unimpressed. It’s uncanny.”

“Right.” You narrow your eyes, scanning the aisle before your gaze lands—and then you smirk. “Well, in that case—”

You point.

At a tiny-ass, comically small dildo sitting on the shelf beside you.

“Look,” you say, voice dripping with mock sympathy. “It’s you.”

Jungkook gawks, then follows your finger—

And cackles.

“Are you fucking serious?” He grabs the unfortunate thing, holding it up between two fingers like it offended him personally. “This thing wouldn’t satisfy a Barbie doll.”

“So you’re saying it wouldn’t satisfy your last three hookups?”

His mouth drops open. “Oh, fuck you—”

“Not with that,” you grin, gesturing at the absolute embarrassment of a sex toy in his hand.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He snorts, shaking his head, but there’s something in his expression—something lighter, something real, and when his eyes meet yours again, he’s still grinning.

And you—

You realize you’re genuinely laughing.

Not the usual snarky huff, not the amused exhale when he says something ridiculous.

Actual, real laughter.

Jungkook looks away, but not before you catch it—the small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, like he’s trying to suppress it. He exhales, glances around, and then—

Of fucking course.

His eyes land on another vibrator display, and just like that, he beelines toward it.

You roll your eyes but follow anyway, because, clearly, this is happening whether you want it to or not.

By the time you catch up, he’s already inspecting again, turning over boxes like a seasoned professional, brows furrowed in deep concentration.

“Okay,” he says, not even looking up. “No rose for you. What about this one?”

You glance at the new option in his hand—one of those fancy, curved vibrators that looks like it belongs in a modern art exhibit.

“Do I really need to get one?” you ask, arms crossing.

He hums, still studying the box. “I mean, I think it could be fun.”

You huff, shifting your weight. “You just wanna make me suffer.”

“Obviously,” he says, smiling, before his voice drops into something softer. “But also… I kinda want you to try things you’ve never let yourself try before.”

You freeze.

It’s subtle, the way he says it. 

He’s still looking at the display, still turning the box in his hands like he’s casually making an observation. But something about it—the intention behind it—makes your breath catch.

“Like, of course,” he continues, still not looking at you, “no pressure on using any of this before you’re ready. But we can get some for now. Until you want to.”

Something warm expands in your chest, unfamiliar and unwelcome, so you push it down. Look away.

“Okay,” you say before you can overthink it.

His head snaps up. “Seriously?”

And—oh.

His eyes light up in real time, something bright sparking behind them, and it’s so fucking genuine it makes your stomach twist.

“Yeah, yeah,” you wave him off, refusing to acknowledge the way your pulse just skipped. “But you’re buying it, since this was your idea.”

Jungkook pauses.

Glances at the box.

Then—checks the price.

You immediately narrow your eyes. “Oh my god—”

“What?” He clears his throat, shifting slightly.

Your gaze flickers between him and the price tag. “I was joking, dumbass.”

“No, I mean—” He shifts his weight, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’d be glad to, I just… can’t this week.”

The words drop like stones.

You frown. “What, you’re broke?”

His jaw clenches. Just a little. 

“Not broke.” He exhales sharply through his nose. “Just… payments.”

He says it clipped, sharp, like it’s a dirty word. 

Like if he says any more, he’ll start drowning in it.

Silence.

Something about it—the way his gaze skitters away, the way his grip tightens like he hates admitting it—makes your throat seize uncomfortably.

You don’t know why.

You don’t understand what’s going on.

For the first time today, you don’t push.

Your eyes stay on him for a moment longer and then you reach out, grab the vibrator from his hands, and start walking toward the counter.

Jungkook watches, clearly puzzled, before following. “Wait—what are you doing?”

“What’s it look like?” You don’t even glance at him, just keep walking toward the register, vibrator in hand. “I’m gonna pay, obviously.”

Jungkook presses his lips together, trailing after you. “I can pay you back next week.”

You turn around before you reach the counter, raising an eyebrow. “I’m a grown-ass woman, Jungkook. Maybe I didn’t want a vibrator when I walked in here, but you piqued my curiosity. And now?” You lift the box slightly. “I kinda want one. So I’m just gonna go and pay for it, since, you know. It’s for me.”

“Yeah, but—” His hand runs over the back of his neck, a nervous habit you’ve picked up on by now. “I know I was the one who brought it up, so, really, you shouldn’t have to—”

“Why are you being weird about this?” you ask, exasperated. “You clearly can’t buy it, so just let me get it for myself. It’s not that deep.”

“It’s not that I can’t—” He sighs through his nose, jaw working. “I just… Can’t this week.”

Your eyes narrow slightly. “What, you hit your spending limit or something?”

“Yeah.”

You blink. “Wait, why do you even have a spending limit on your credit card?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“I mean—” You frown. “Isn’t that limit usually, like, high? Five, ten grand or something?”

Jungkook doesn’t respond immediately. Just shrugs, looking off to the side, like the conversation is already over.

And that—

That makes something uneasy settle in your chest.

Because you might not know much about his financial situation, but from what you do know—nice clothes, fancy coffee machines, the way he throws money around without a second thought—this doesn’t quite add up.

But you don’t pry.

Instead, you exhale and switch gears. “You should try saving.”

It’s a throwaway comment, something your mom used to say when you spent too much on books, something normal. But the way Jungkook exhales—sharp, dismissive, like the idea itself is laughable… makes you do a double-take.

He doesn’t even argue. Just shakes his head, quiet.

“If only it were that easy.”

The way he says it is flat, dismissive, absolute. It tells you that’s a road he’s not going down today.

You turn back to the counter and pay for the damn vibrator yourself.

By the time you step out of the shop, the mall is absolutely packed—which, of course, it is. Saturday, midday. Everyone’s either looking for food or wandering aimlessly, pretending they have a plan.

Jungkook walks beside you, hands deep in his pockets, and—

You can’t help but notice how awkward he is right now. 

Like, visibly awkward.

Which is new.

“Thanks,” he mutters after a moment, still looking ahead.

You glance over, frowning. “For what?”

He shrugs. “I dunno. Paying.”

You stare at him. Nudge his arm. “Why do you look like I just forced you to witness a war crime?”

“I don’t.”

“You do.” You smirk. “Relax. It’s just a vibrator, not a marriage proposal.”

Jungkook scoffs, looking at random display windows. “Still think I should’ve bought it for you.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Is it?”

Yes.” You roll your eyes. “You act like I just disrupted the natural order of the universe by buying myself a sex toy. Women pay for their own shit all the time.”

He shakes his head, lips twitching. “Not the ones I used to date.”

You huff a laugh. “Oh, so what, they just made you foot the bill for everything?”

“Nah.” He glances at you, amused. “She enjoyed buying alone.”

And the way he says it this time—dry, laced with something bitter—makes you wonder if it’s related to his financial situation.

You snort, shaking your head. “Sounds convenient.”

“Super convenient.” He exhales, stretching his arms over his head. “Anyway, let’s focus on what really matters here.”

You groan. “If you say the rose toy, I swear to god—”

“No, no.” He grins, leaning in slightly. “Are you gonna name it?”

You stop walking.

“Are you fucking serious—”

But before you can even finish your rhetorical question, Jungkook’s phone vibrates in his pocket. He pulls it out, glances at the screen, and then—

“Oh, shit.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What?”

“Taehyung’s around here.” He types something back, then pockets his phone, already steering you toward the exit. “Let’s grab lunch with him.”

You snort. “Yeah, no. Pass.”

He pauses, blinking at you. “Huh?”

“What?” You cross your arms. “Taehyung. As in your friend. The one who looked at me like my existence was despicable—in my own apartment?”

Jungkook stares at you for a second. Then he laughs, shaking his head. “Okay, first of all, dramatic.”

“Am I?”

Yes.”

“Alright,” you deadpan. “Roll back the footage to the morning I woke up late in my Pokémon pajamas, walked into the living room, and got blasted with the nastiest look of my entire life.”

“It wasn’t the nastiest.”

“It was fucking hostile, Jungkook.”

“It wasn’t hostile—”

“He looked at me like I was an infestation.”

“He was just surprised!” Jungkook huffs, tugging on your wrist again. “Come on, I promise he doesn’t bite.”

“That’s not reassuring.”

“He’s just a little intense when he doesn’t know people.”

“Oh,” you scoff. “Great, that makes me feel so much better about being publicly executed by his eyes.”

“Okay, relax.” He tilts his head, amused. “Taehyung’s fine once you get to know him.”

“Why would I want to?”

“Because he’s my friend.”

“Well, he clearly doesn’t want to get to know me.”

“Oh my god.” Jungkook groans, pulling you closer. “He’s just protective. It’s not personal.”

“It felt personal.”

“Phoenix—”

“He literally said ‘since when?’ when he found out I lived there.”

“I mean—” Jungkook purses his lips, clearly holding back a snicker. “To be fair, that was kind of my reaction too.”

“Oh, fuck you,” you mutter, but you don’t pull away.

“Listen,” he tries again. “Taehyung’s just blunt, alright? He was caught off guard, that’s all.”

“Off guard and actively scowling,” you point out. “Like, what, does he personally vet all your roommates? Did I need to submit an application?”

“You’re such a brat.”

“I just don’t like being glared at for existing,” you mutter. “Especially not before coffee.”

“So come and give him a new first impression.”

You blink up at him. “You’re really not gonna shut up about this, are you?”

“Nope.”

You exhale sharply, rolling your eyes. “Fine.”

Jungkook’s face lights up. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” You wave him off. “But if he glares at me again, I’m putting him in a headlock.”

“Oh, I’d love to see you try,” he snickers, already pulling you toward the street. “But fair warning—he probably carries a palette knife.”

You squint. “What?”

“What?”

“What does that even mean?”

“Nothing.” He grins. “Let’s go.”

“Jesus.” You groan, letting him drag you along. “You and your fucking cryptic friends.”

“You’re gonna love him.”

You highly fucking doubt it.

You glare at him across the table.

He glares back.

Jungkook sighs dramatically between you, dropping his sandwich onto its wrapper. “Come on, guys. What the heck is this?”

“That’s what I should be saying,” Taehyung mutters, arms crossed. “I invited you to lunch, not whoever-she-is.”

You scoff, leaning back in your chair. “Yeah, well, my name is Y/N. In case you forgot when, you know, Yoongi introduced me—that beautiful day you barged into my apartment with mysterious keys.”

Taehyung lifts an eyebrow. “I have a key for a reason.”

“Enlighten me.” You gesture. 

“Wouldn’t you like that?”

“Yes, actually.” You lean in, tone flat. “It would be super nice to know why the fuck a random has keys to my apartment.”

“I am no random,” Taehyung says smoothly, voice steady. “You—”

“ALRIGGGHT.” Jungkook nearly shouts, hands raised like he’s trying to stop a war. “Jesus, guys.”

You and Taehyung don’t break eye contact.

Jungkook exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Phoenix, Tae has a spare key for emergencies. Tae, you did use the key for no reason,” he continues, turning to his friend. “There. Can we eat? And maybe talk about—I don’t know—video games?”

Taehyung huffs. “I had a reason.”

“Being impatient isn’t a reason.”

Traffic is a perfectly valid reason.”

“No, it’s not,” you deadpan. “It’s just you being moody and entitled.”

His brows twitch, like he’s trying very hard not to say something rude. “You don’t know me.”

“I don’t have to,” you fire back, popping a fry into your mouth. “You looked at me like I committed war crimes the second I walked into my own living room.”

“Because I didn’t know who you were,” he says, eyes narrowing. “Which is weird, because I know everyone who comes into Jungkook’s life.”

Jungkook shifts in his seat. “Tae—”

You lean forward. “Sounds like a you problem.”

“Sounds like a red flag to me.” Taehyung doesn’t waver, jaw tense. “You move in, and suddenly Jungkook’s just fine breaking all his habits? Being careless? Nicknames? I don’t like it.”

“And I don’t like you acting like my existence is some kind of threat,” you shoot back. “If you have something to say, just say it.”

“Fine.” He clasps his hands together. “I don’t trust you.”

“Jesus fucking—” Jungkook runs a hand down his face. “Tae, can you not?”

You tilt your head. “And why is that?”

Taehyung shrugs. “Call it intuition.”

You snort. “Call it bullshit.”

“Call it experience,” he corrects, and—

There it is.

Something sharp, pointed, buried in those words.

Jungkook freezes.

You notice.

But instead of backing down, you match Taehyung’s stare. “Sounds personal.”

“It is.”

Jungkook groans, shoving a fistful of fries into his mouth. “God, I need fucking Hobi here.”

Taehyung, still staring you down, slowly pops a fry into his mouth. Doesn’t break eye contact. Just chews. Menacingly.

You squint. “Are you trying to intimidate me with potato consumption?”

“Is it working?”

“Absolutely not.”

Jungkook sighs like he’s aged five years in the last five minutes. “Can you two at least pretend to be normal?”

You both ignore him.

Instead, Taehyung finally leans back, exhaling through his nose, like he’s decided this isn’t worth his energy. “So. English major, huh?”

You blink, caught off guard. “Yeah?”

“Figures.” He picks up his drink, taking a sip. “You seem like the type.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You have that…” He gestures vaguely. “…literary snobbery about you.”

You scoff. “Excuse me?”

“Like the type to judge people for reading Colleen Hoover.”

“I mean—” You squint. “Yeah. Obviously.”

“Exactly.”

You narrow your eyes. “And what about you? What do you do, paint or something?”

“Actually, yes.”

Jungkook snickers into his cup.

You pause, a little thrown. “Wait, really?”

“Yes?”

“Huh.” You pop another fry into your mouth. “Did not expect that.”

“What, because I’m not wearing a fucking beret?”

"No, because you have the vibe of a man who enjoys making legally binding decisions."

Jungkook snorts into his drink.

"Like," you continue, squinting at him. "You seem like the type to get a rush from telling people no just because you can."

Taehyung sips his drink, expression unreadable. "I mean, that does sound satisfying."

"See?" You gesture. "You look like you should be sitting behind a desk in a courtroom, banging a gavel, saying shit like ‘motion denied’ just for the fun of it."

Taehyung just tilts his head, studying you in return. "And you have the vibe of someone who reads in coffee shops just to judge other people’s book choices."

"That’s literally just an accurate description of what I do."

"Tragic."

“Says the guy who acts like he personally owns the lease to an apartment he doesn’t live in.”

“I should have a say in who lives there.”

“That’s not how leases work.”

“It is if I don’t like you.”

“Great. Now that we’ve established our mutual dislike—” You pick up your sandwich, taking a bite. “We can move on.”

Jungkook groans, running a hand down his face. “Can you two just, I don’t know, talk like normal people?”

“We are talking,” you and Taehyung say at the same time.

Jungkook exhales sharply, shoving more fries into his mouth like this is physically painful for him. “Why did I think this was a good idea?”

Right.” You roll your eyes, setting down your drink. “So what, you actually do paint, or was that just an aesthetic choice?”

“I do.”

“So what kind of stuff do you paint?”

“People, mostly.”

“Lemme guess,” you hum. “Serious, brooding portraits. The type where everyone looks like they’re contemplating their inevitable demise.”

“Is that your way of asking if I paint you?”

You blink. “I—”

Jungkook snickers. “Oh, shit.”

You ignore him, refocusing. “Do you?”

“No.” Taehyung sips his drink. “I only paint things I find aesthetically pleasing.”

You gasp. “You bitch.”

“You asked.”

Jungkook is losing it now, full-on laughing as he watches this unfold.

Taehyung pops another fry into his mouth, looking deeply satisfied.

You glare at him for a second. Then you exhale, shaking your head. “You’re lucky I respect a good insult.”

Taehyung just smirks. “Likewise.”

And then—

Jungkook’s phone buzzes on the table.

Taehyung glances at it.

The screen lights up with a notification, and though you can't see the full message from your angle, you catch a glimpse of what looks like an unknown number.

But whatever it says must be significant, because Taehyung's entire expression shifts.

It’s quick—barely a flicker—but you see it. The way his brows furrow slightly, the way his jaw tenses, the way his fingers flex against the table. His gaze darkens as it flickers to Jungkook, sharp and knowing.

"Mia," he mutters under his breath, so low you almost miss it.

But Jungkook—

Jungkook doesn’t react. 

Which is a reaction in itself. 

No flicker of surprise, no frown, no tension—just… nothing. Like his body shuts down before it can betray him. 

His face doesn’t change. His hands stay exactly where they are, resting on his lap. His whole posture stays neutral, perfectly controlled—but it’s the kind of control that’s too intentional, too careful, like he’s forcing himself not to react.

And then, without a word, Taehyung reaches out and flips the phone over, pressing it flat against the table with two fingers.

“Later,” he mutters, low and firm.

Jungkook’s throat bobs once. His fingers twitch—just barely—but he doesn’t say anything.

Doesn’t look at Taehyung.

Doesn’t look at you, either.

Something in the air feels off.

“Who was that?” you ask, glancing between them.

Jungkook’s jaw works, but he keeps his gaze down, eyes fixed on the table.

Taehyung doesn’t even hesitate. “No one.”

His tone is smooth. Even. A little too quick.

You narrow your eyes. “Didn’t look like no one.”

“It’s nothing.” Taehyung’s voice hardens slightly—just enough to make it clear that this conversation isn’t going any further.

Jungkook doesn’t argue.

Just sits there, hands loose on his lap, shoulders too still, like he’s bracing himself against something.

You don’t get it.

But Taehyung does.

Because after a moment, his gaze softens—only slightly, only in the way someone who knows would notice—but then he exhales sharply, grabbing a fry and popping it into his mouth like nothing just happened.

“Anyway,” he says, smoothly changing topics, “why the hell were you two even around here?”

Jungkook finally moves, reaching for his drink. “Just running errands.”

“Errands?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “In a random ass part of the city?”

“What, you track my usual routes now?”

“No, but I track bullshit, and that was a lie.”

Jungkook huffs, taking a long sip of his drink before waving him off. “Nothing sketchy, relax.”

Taehyung hums, unconvinced, before turning to you. “And you?”

You blink, caught mid-bite. “What about me?”

“Same errands?” His eyes flicker between the two of you, sharp and assessing. “Or did Jungkook just drag you along for one of his dumbass ideas?”

Your fingers tighten slightly around your sandwich.

“Why do you care?” you ask instead, raising an eyebrow. “Worried he’s leading me into a life of crime?”

“No,” Taehyung deadpans. “If anything, I’d be worried you were leading him into one.”

Jungkook laughs, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “She does have the vibe of someone who’d steal wallets.”

“I do not,” you scoff. “If anything, you do. You have shifty eyes.”

“Shifty eyes?” He leans forward, smirking. “That’s crazy, because I was about to say you look like you smuggle contraband in your backpack.”

“Jesus Christ,” Taehyung mutters, rubbing his temples. “Forget I fucking asked.”

Jungkook just grins, finally settling back into his seat, and the tension—whatever the fuck it was—fades into something almost normal again.

But Taehyung’s eyes flicker to the still-facedown phone one last time.

And you don’t miss it.

Then the check arrives at the table, placed between the three of you. Jungkook reaches for it first, but Taehyung’s hand lands over his wrist before he can even flip it open.

“It’s the week, right?” Taehyung says, more like a statement than a question.

Jungkook tenses. Licks his lips. Looks away. 

Then.

“Yeah.”

Taehyung stares at him. Exhales through his nose. 

“I got it.” 

Jungkook’s jaw shifts. His fingers twitch. There’s a second—half a second—where his whole body tenses like he’s going to argue. Like he wants to say something, wants to fight it, wants to prove something. But then his hand relaxes, and the words never come.

Because he can’t pay.

And Taehyung knows it.

So this a thing, huh? Jungkook hitting his limit frequently enough to call it ‘the week’. Like this is a conversation they’ve had before. Like it’s routine

You don’t know why you care. You don’t know why you file that information away for later. 

You don’t know what exactly is happening here, but you do know this: Jungkook doesn’t like being helped. His pride is too big, his ego too stubborn—but right now? He has no choice.

And maybe that’s why you hear yourself speak before you fully think it through.

“Actually, I got it.”

Both their heads snap toward you.

Taehyung raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “You got it?”

Yeah?” You grab the check before either of them can stop you. “I mean, you were the one who invited us, but I was the one who kinda crashed lunch, so it’s only fair.”

Jungkook is still staring at you, expression unreadable. Taehyung leans back, arms crossing over his chest. “I invited Jungkook. Not you.”

“Right.” You nod. “But since you so graciously let me sit here and share your oxygen, I think it’s my duty as a lawful citizen to contribute to the economy.”

Taehyung snorts. “That’s the worst logic I’ve ever heard.”

“I don’t know, sounded solid to me,” Jungkook mumbles, finally picking up his drink again.

“You just don’t want to argue because you know you can’t pay.” Taehyung doesn’t even look at him.

Jungkook just shrugs.

Taehyung turns back to you, eyes narrowing slightly, like he’s trying to figure you out. “I said I got it.”

Seriously.” You pull out your card, waving it. “Let me do this. I’ll feel better about intruding if I pay.”

Taehyung watches you for a moment. Then he exhales sharply, shaking his head. “Fine. But next time, I’m covering it.”

“Next time?” You scoff. “I don’t remember signing up for a second round of whatever this was.”

“You think I want to see you again?”

“You literally just implied it.”

“Jesus,” Jungkook mutters, head falling back against the booth. “Can you two stop flirting for five fucking minutes?”

“Flirting?” you and Taehyung say at the same time, identical expressions of disgust.

“Yeah, no,” Taehyung deadpans, looking at you. “I still don’t like you.”

“Good. I’d be concerned if you did.”

Jungkook just groans again, rubbing his temples as you flag the waiter down and hand over your card.

Across from you, Taehyung watches. 

And for the first time, he doesn’t look pissed off. 

Just… curious.

The air outside is cooler now, the late afternoon sun starting to dip behind the buildings.

You walk a few steps behind Jungkook and Taehyung, half-listening as they talk, Taehyung holding a small bag in one hand.

“You heading home now?” Jungkook asks, glancing over.

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods, adjusting the bag. “Got something for Iri. She’s been swamped all week.”

Jungkook hums. “Bet she appreciates it.”

“She better,” Taehyung mutters, but there’s the faintest tug of a smirk at his lips. “I’m basically a saint at this point.”

Jungkook snorts. “You’re so fucking dramatic.”

Taehyung just shrugs, glancing at his parked car ahead. As they reach the curb, he lifts a hand in a quick wave. “Alright, I’m out. Try not to be an idiot while I’m gone.”

“No promises,” Jungkook grins.

Taehyung rolls his eyes, then looks at you.

It’s brief. A small nod. Not quite friendly, but… not hostile either.

Then he turns, unlocks his car, and drives off.

And just like that, it’s quiet.

Jungkook slows his pace as you catch up beside him, hands tucked into his hoodie pocket.

“Soooo,” he drawls, side-eyeing you. “What did you think?”

You raise an eyebrow. “About what? The sandwich? Solid six out of ten.”

Phoenix.”

“Oh,” you hum. “You mean your guard dog?”

Jungkook laughs, shoving you lightly with his shoulder. “He’s not that bad.”

“He literally told me he doesn’t trust me.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t try to fight you, so I’d say that’s progress.”

“Wow,” you deadpan. “High bar.”

“Tae just takes a while to warm up to people,” he says, kicking a stray pebble on the sidewalk. “He’s protective.”

Clearly.”

Jungkook glances at you, smirking. “But you held your own.”

Obviously.”

“Didn’t even back down when he hit you with the judge stare.”

“Judge stare?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook grins. “His girl’s a judge, and I swear to god he’s absorbed her whole authority complex by osmosis.”

You snort. “That makes so much fucking sense.”

“Right?”

You shake your head, exhaling. “Well, if nothing else, he’s not boring.”

“That’s basically a compliment.”

“It’s not.”

“Sure it is,” he teases, grinning wider. “You two are gonna be besties in no time.”

“Don’t fucking push it.”

The walk becomes quiet, but it’s not uncomfortable.

Just the two of you moving in sync, side by side, the city buzzing softly around you.

Your hands swing loosely at your sides. Your steps match without trying. The air is crisp, the late afternoon light stretching shadows along the pavement.

And yet—

Your thoughts are nowhere near as calm as the moment suggests.

Because in your car—just sitting there in its stupid little box, waiting—is the vibrator you just bought.

With him.

The one he spent an unreasonable amount of time picking out, flipping over in his hands, reading descriptions out loud like it was a tech purchase and not a sex toy. The one he insisted you get, the one that—

You steal a glance at him.

At the sharp line of his jaw, the silver ring on his thumb, the lazy way his fingers twitch like they need to be doing something.

Your stomach tightens.

Your mind flickers—unbidden, unwanted—to the thought of actually using it.

Your lips part slightly, and then—

A shiver runs through you.

The temperature has dipped with the sun, and suddenly, your skin prickles against the evening chill.

Jungkook notices.

Without a word, he pulls his hoodie over his head, bunching it up before tossing it over your face like a goddamn net.

“Ew—” You yank it off immediately, grimacing. “What the fuck?”

“Put it on,” he clicks his tongue, completely ignoring your reaction. “It’s cold.”

“I’m fine,” you mutter, holding the hoodie out to him. “Take your gross man-sweat back.”

“Phoenix.” He side-eyes you, long and tired. “I’m literally doing this for myself.”

You blink. “How the fuck does that make any—”

“If you get sick,” he sighs dramatically, “I won’t be able to fuck you at all.”

Your mouth snaps shut.

He grins.

And then he just keeps walking, like he didn’t just drop-kick your brain into the fucking void.

You stand there for a second, still gripping his stupid hoodie in both hands, before exhaling sharply and pulling it on.

It’s warm.

And it smells like rain.

You hate that you notice. 

Chapter 14: laundry day

Summary:

"Doing laundry should be a normal activity—not something that brings out a whole new set of revelations about Jungkook you were not even fathoming. And you don’t know if it’s helping old ladies, tying your shoes or collecting stupid vynils—but you don’t like how it’s throwing off your whole perception of your annoying roommate."

Notes:

Hello again little gremlins! It’s your girl, Kiki—back with another dose of Jungkook being emotionally compromised and having weird feelings about vulnerability.

SO. This chapter is… fairly slow-paced, which, duh—have you read my stuff? I went HAM on the introspection here, but I think it was so needed. Sometimes we need this type of chapter to balance the narrative out. I think it’s worked out beautifully, but do let me know your thoughts at the end.

About the goal thing! In case you’ve been living under a rock (or you don’t check my Tumblr regularly—which, fair), I have decided to switch my update schedule system.

Previously, I had been working with a weekly schedule as you all know. This has been quite easy for me to maintain because I work with hyperfixations, and basically ADHD.

The thing is… it’s a 2 month cycle.

I’m basically on week 7/8 already.

And that brings me to The Point. Goal-based update system. Which just means I’ll continue posting as long as we reach the established goals (Tumblr/Wattpad) in every chapter. I thought about doing something for AO3 too but since kudos are for the story as a whole, I really didn’t know how to do it.

Anyways—I am going to be creating a whole post explaining how it works in my jungkoode Tumblr, but, long story short—as long as we reach either the goal in Tumblr OR Wattpad, we’ll be getting more chapters!

This is basically a self-regulation thing. I am self-aware (luckily) and I know how to work with my ADHD—but for those who don’t know; it’s heavily tied to dopamine. Which just means (I’m not gonna get nerdy I swear), I basically need engagement to trick my brain into staying motivated. Otherwise dopamine hits get slowly weaker and at some point I literally cannot bring myself to write.

WHICH SUCKS. Because I do love my stories, and I love sharing them. But burnout is real and brains work in funny ways and I can’t really fight my ADHD or brain chemistry (trust me I wish I could). So this is how you guys are going to help me tame this bitch. WE RIDE AT DOWN. 🤝

And before anyone asks—no, this is not up for debate. This is not something I’m “considering” or “open to feedback on.” This is me taking care of my mental health and working with my ADHD instead of against it. It’s not an “excuse,” it’s just how my brain operates. If that bothers you… I literally do not know what to tell you.

Anyways, as always, I love you all, I’m reading all your comments and reblogs and asks, and do check the note goal at the very end! 🩷

Chapter Text

It's fucking weird how some people's clothes have a gravitational pull, like they're magnets and your body is just helplessly metal. 

You're wearing his sweater. The same one that's been mocking you from your desk chair for the last twenty-four hours, just sitting there in all its navy blue glory, smelling like rain and testosterone and bad decisions. You don't know why you haven't tossed it back into his room yet. It's been staring you down all morning, a silent accusation of...something.

But now it's almost midday on Sunday, and your pile of dirty clothes has reached critical mass. Your laundry basket is basically a textile Mount Everest. You'd wear something clean, except there isn't anything clean left—not unless you count the questionable tank top you found at the back of your drawer that you're pretty sure you wore to a frat party sophomore year.

So. Jungkook's sweater it is.

You tell yourself it's just practical. Totally logical. It's uncharacteristically chilly outside, the first whisper of almost September creeping in, and you need something to cover your ridiculous pajama shorts for the trek to the basement laundry room. They're flowery and pale pink, paired with an equally ridiculous oversized t-shirt featuring a cartoonish sunflower with the words "HAVE A SUNFLOWER DAY!" emblazoned across your chest in neon yellow.

Not exactly the look you'd choose for running into anyone with functioning eyeballs, but it's Sunday, and your give-a-fuck meter is hovering at absolute zero.

It's not like you're going to run into anyone important anyway. Miguel the super probably won't be down there; he's usually sleeping off his Saturday night till at least 2PM. And the chances of meeting some hot neighbor—your future spouse who'll be so charmed by your sunflower ensemble that they'll propose on the spot—are basically nonexistent.

Actually, scratch that. 

Even if some dream person did materialize in the laundry room today, they wouldn't see the sunflower masterpiece because it's hidden under Jungkook's stupidly oversized hoodie. The one that somehow hangs past your shorts, making it look like you're not wearing pants at all, which is a whole different kind of disaster.

Whatever. It's warm. It doesn't smell like him anymore. (It does.) And you're just using it. Borrowing it. Temporarily occupying its fabric space.

You scoop up your overflowing laundry basket and wrestle it onto your hip. The elevator in this building moves with all the urgency of continental drift, so you opt for the stairs. Three flights down isn't horrible, especially since the laundry room is conveniently right next to the stairwell exit.

"Just put it in his room later," you mutter to yourself, adjusting the hoodie. 

You could've done that yesterday when he tossed it at you, but you didn't, and you're not thinking about why.

You check your pocket for quarters and detergent pods. 

The whole ritual is familiar now—Sunday laundry day, another week of adulting successfully completed without burning the building down or getting evicted. Not that the bar should be that low, but hey, after the month you've had, you'll take the wins where you can get them.

As you start down the stairs, the hoodie falls past your hand, and you absently tug it back up, trying not to think about how the collar brushes against your cheek or how the cuffs hang past your fingertips. 

And you definitely aren't thinking about the fact that you're surrounded by the scent of him with every breath you take.

Because that would be weird, right? Being conscious of wearing your roommate's clothes? The roommate you occasionally fuck? The one who took you to buy a vibrator yesterday before subjecting you to lunch with his overly-protective friend?

Right. Not weird at all.

You're just doing laundry, in ridiculous pajamas, wearing his hoodie because it's practical. That's the story, and you're sticking to it—even if the sleeves smell faintly of his soap when you lift your hand to push your hair out of your face.

The stairwell is quiet, just the echo of your worn-out sneakers slapping against the concrete steps. You shift the basket to your other hip, huffing slightly under its weight. 

Maybe you should've done laundry sooner. Maybe you shouldn't wait until you're literally out of underwear every single time. 

But then again, maybe you should focus on the stairs and not on the fact that your bare thighs occasionally brush against the soft inner lining of his hoodie.

Adulthood is just a series of mundane chores punctuated by questionable decisions. And today, apparently, that includes wearing Jungkook's hoodie to do your laundry.

No big deal. You'll wash your clothes, return his sweater, and the universe will continue spinning on its axis, completely unaffected by your poor wardrobe choices.

The door to the laundry room is propped open with a cinder block—probably Mrs. Patel from 4C forgetting to remove it again. You shift your basket one final time and head in, already mentally claiming the good dryer, the one that doesn't sound like it's harboring a demon when it hits the spin cycle.

It's just laundry day. Just another Sunday. 

And the laundry room is still a goddamn joke.

Because let’s be real—whoever thought six washing machines and four dryers could service an entire apartment building was either a sadist or never did laundry in their life. 

And on Sundays

It's like watching vultures circle a carcass—everybody desperate for their turn at the machines, glaring at anyone who takes too long to transfer their clothes.

Dona Ramirez is already there, of course. The seventy-something retiree who treats the laundry room like her personal kingdom and you like an invading barbarian. She's currently guarding the Good Dryer—the one you had mentally claimed seconds ago.

Just. Fucking. Great.

She looks up as you enter, lips pursing like she's just bitten into something sour. Her eyes travel from your face down to your bare legs and back up again, judgment radiating from her in palpable waves.

"Good morning," you mutter, aiming for polite but landing somewhere around constipated.

"Hmph." Dona sniffs, turning back to her women's magazine. "Young people these days. No shame."

You bite back the urge to point out that it's literally just your legs showing, not your entire ass. It wouldn't matter anyway. In Dona's world, anything above the ankle is basically pornographic.

Shifting your heavy basket to your other hip, you make your way to the only empty washing machine—wedged in the back corner, naturally. The one that sometimes stops mid-cycle like it's having an existential crisis. You slam your basket down with more force than necessary.

"Careful with the machines," Dona mutters without looking up from her magazine. "They're not getting any younger."

Neither are you, standing here taking shit from the laundry room gatekeeper.

"Sorry," you say, not sorry at all.

You start sorting your clothes, creating separate piles for darks and lights. Dona continues to flip pages, totally unbothered. Or maybe bothered. You can’t tell and frankly don’t care. 

As you're separating your darks, something catches your eye. Orange hair. Lots of it, actually, clinging to your black leggings and that navy shirt you wore when you were studying on the couch last week.

Griffin.

That little furry infiltrator has been shedding all over your clothes again. Despite the fact that your door is always closed. Despite the "no pets" clause in your lease that Jungkook blatantly ignores. Despite your best efforts to maintain some semblance of a cat-hair-free existence.

And yet...

You find yourself smiling slightly as you pluck a particularly long orange strand from your favorite black sweater. The traitorous little shit must have snuck into your room when you were in the shower yesterday. You'd caught him curled up on your bed when you came out, looking entirely too comfortable and completely unapologetic about the invasion.

He'd just blinked at you lazily, that slow "yes, I know I'm not supposed to be here, and no, I don't care" cat-blink that somehow manages to be both insulting and endearing at the same time.

You should be annoyed. You should definitely tell Jungkook to keep his feline menace away from your clean laundry basket. You should not find it even remotely charming that Griffin seems to have decided your clothes are his second-favorite napping spot (right after your pillow, the little asshole).

And yet here you are, pulling orange fur off your black clothes with something dangerously close to fondness. 

What the fuck is happening to you?

Maybe it's sleep deprivation. 

Or maybe it's the fact that Griffin is actually kind of cool, for a cat. 

He doesn't have that typical cat superiority complex—he just genuinely doesn't give a shit about anything except food, sunbeams, and antagonizing Jungkook. 

It's a lifestyle you can respect.

Plus, he has this way of curling up next to you when you're reading, just close enough to leech your body heat without actually admitting he wants your attention. It's like living with a tiny, furry version of his owner.

Not that you'd ever admit that particular observation out loud.

You dump your dark clothes into the washing machine, mentally calculating how much detergent to add. Dona shuffles to check her wash cycle, eyeing you suspiciously like you might try to sabotage her laundry when she's not looking.

"Cold day," she comments, which is probably the most conversational she's ever been with you.

"Yeah," you reply, not looking up from measuring detergent. "Came early this year."

She hums disapprovingly, like the weather is also your fault. "Wearing your boyfriend's clothes won't keep you warm forever."

For a split second, your brain halts. 

Boyfriend? What boyfriend? And then—

Ah

The hoodie.

Jungkook's hoodie that you're swimming in.

Something about her smug certainty, that look that says she's got you all figured out, makes you want to burn the whole goddamn building down. Or at least throw a very minor wrench in her worldview.

"It's my girlfriend's, actually," you say, the lie sliding off your tongue with practiced ease.

There. Take that, you judgmental old bat. Let's see how your 1950s sensibilities handle—

"Even worse," Dona sniffs, not missing a beat. "Girls these days, always stealing each other's clothes. You'll never build a proper wardrobe that way."

Wait, what?

You blink, momentarily thrown. That's... not the reaction you were expecting. No pearl-clutching. No horrified gasps. Just... practical fashion advice?

"I—"

"My granddaughter does the same thing," she continues, adjusting the scarf around her neck with arthritic fingers. "Comes home wearing her girlfriend's sweatshirts, twice her size. Looks like she's drowning in fabric. No shape whatsoever. You young people and your oversized clothes." She clicks her tongue. "In my day, we wore things that fit."

Well, shit.

So much for your brilliant plan to scandalize the old lady. 

Turns out Dona's not a homophobe—she's just a fashion critic. Equal opportunity judgment for all. How progressive of her.

"Right," you mutter, feeling weirdly chastised. "I'll, uh, keep that in mind."

"Hmph." She turns back to her laundry, seemingly satisfied that she's dispensed enough wisdom for one day.

You're still processing this unexpected twist when the laundry room door creaks open behind you, letting in a draft of cooler air. 

You don't need to turn around to know who it is. 

Something in the atmosphere shifts immediately—molecules rearranging themselves, air particles getting all excited, the very fabric of space-time bending to accommodate his presence.

Or maybe that's just your pulse doing that annoying thing where it decides to race for no good reason.

"Well, well, well."

His voice is sleep-rough and amused, and you can already picture the exact expression on his face without looking. 

That stupid half-smirk. That cocked eyebrow. That look that says he's caught you doing something you shouldn't.

You turn slowly, trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that you're suddenly, acutely aware that you're wearing his fucking hoodie over your ridiculous pajamas.

Jungkook stands in the doorway, laundry basket propped against his hip, looking unfairly good for someone who's probably just rolled out of bed. His hair is a disaster, sticking up in tufts. He's wearing a plain white t-shirt and those stupid gray sweatpants that look way too good on him, and his feet are bare—the absolute psychopath. Who walks around a gross apartment building with no shoes?

His eyes drop immediately to the hoodie, and his eyebrow arches even higher.

"Interesting fashion choice, Phoenix," he says, lips twitching.

Your face heats. "Laundry day," you say, as if that explains everything.

As if borrowing—okay, stealing—his clothes is a perfectly normal response to having nothing clean to wear.

"Clearly." His gaze sweeps over you, taking in the edge of your floral shorts peeking out beneath the hem of his hoodie. "Sunflower PJs? Again?"

"It's laundry day," you repeat, like maybe he didn't hear you the first time. Like maybe that's a valid excuse for looking like you raided a middle schooler's closet. "Everything else is dirty."

"Hmm." 

He steps fully into the room, letting the door swing shut behind him, and moves to the washing machine next to yours. 

Puts his basket down. 

Stands too close. 

“But the hoodie isn't yours."

It's not a question. It's a statement, delivered with that infuriating confidence he always has, like he's so sure of himself, so certain of how this interaction is going to play out.

"I found it in my room," you say, turning back to your washing machine, pretending to be deeply interested in the cycle selection. "Must've gotten mixed up in my stuff."

"For a whole day?" He snorts, and you can hear him starting to sort his laundry beside you. "Interesting that you decided to wear it instead of, I don't know, returning it."

"It was convenient," you mutter, jabbing at the start button. "And it's cold."

"Right."

You can hear the smile in his voice without looking at him, and you don’t know why you notice without even having to gaze at him. 

Damn your body and its complete lack of dignity.

"You're late, boy."

Your head whips around at the sharp change in Dona's tone. Not softer—definitely not softer—but different somehow. Like… Less venomous, more... familiar

The old woman is glaring at Jungkook, but it's not the same glare she gives you. It's like the difference between a loaded gun and a water pistol.

"Sorry, Miss D," Jungkook says, and there's something in his voice—a hint of warmth?—that catches you completely off guard. "Overslept."

"Hmph. Young people." Dona shakes her head, but there's no real bite to it. "My sheets need folding. These old hands aren't what they used to be."

"Sure thing." Jungkook nods like this is a completely normal request, like random old ladies demanding his manual labor is just part of his Sunday routine.

What the actual fuck?

You stare between them, waiting for Jungkook to tell her to fold her own damn sheets, or at the very least look annoyed at being bossed around. 

But he just continues sorting his laundry like this is fine. 

Like this is normal.

"You know her?" you ask, keeping your voice low as Dona bustles over to check her washing machine.

Jungkook glances at you, one eyebrow raised. "Yeah?"

"Since when?"

He shrugs, separating a dark shirt from a pile of whites. "Since I moved in? She lives on the fourth floor."

"And you just... help her fold laundry? Voluntarily?"

"Sometimes." He's not looking at you now, focused on his sorting with more attention than dirty clothes really require. "It's not a big deal."

"Is that why she doesn't look at you like you're gum on her shoe?"

He huffs a laugh. "What?"

"She fucking hates me," you whisper, gesturing discreetly at Dona's back. "Every time I see her, she looks at me like I personally invented avocado toast and killed all the mom-and-pop stores."

"Maybe you just need to help her fold her sheets," he suggests, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

"Or maybe you've charmed her with your stupid dimples and your fake nice-guy routine."

"Fake nice-guy routine?" His eyebrows shoot up, and he looks genuinely amused. "Is that what you think this is?"

"Obviously," you mutter. "Nobody is actually that helpful without an agenda."

He studies you for a moment. Then, speaks. "Yeah? What's my agenda with Dona, then?"

“I don't know yet. But I'm sure it's something nefarious."

"Nefarious," he repeats, and now he's definitely laughing at you. "Sure, Phoenix. I'm playing the long con with a senior citizen. Really working that angle."

"Wouldn't put it past you.”

"Right." He tilts his head to the other side, still smiling slightly. "Well, while I'm busy being fake nice, you might want to turn your machine on. You've been standing there for five minutes and it's still not running."

You glance down at your washing machine, which is indeed just sitting there, silent and unhelpful. Fuck. Your finger must have missed the start button in your rush to look like you knew what you were doing.

You jab the button again, harder this time, and the machine finally lurches to life with a groan that sounds suspiciously like judgment.

"Boy," Dona calls from across the room, "come help with these detergent bottles. They're too heavy."

"Coming," Jungkook calls back, and he's moving before you can say anything else, crossing the room to where Dona is struggling with an industrial-sized bottle of Tide.

You watch, equal parts confused and suspicious, as he takes the bottle from her. They exchange a few words you can't quite hear over the rumble of the washing machines, and then—what the fuck—Dona actually pats his arm. Like he's her grandson or something.

Like she doesn't find him utterly repulsive.

Is this why she likes him? Because he lets her boss him around and carries her detergent? 

That's... kind of pathetic, actually. 

You thought Jungkook had more of a backbone than that.

But still. It's weird. The cold, calculating part of your brain catalogs this new information, filed under "Jungkook, Things That Don't Add Up About." 

It's growing into a pretty substantial folder these days.

You turn back to your washing machine, pretending to be deeply fascinated by the cycle display, but you're still watching them from the corner of your eye. Trying to figure out what his deal is.

"You need groceries this week?" Jungkook asks, voice low but not quite low enough that you can't hear it. "I can swing by after my studio session on Wednesday."

"Do I look like I need charity?" Dona snaps, but it’s not fueled by anger. If anything, she sounds... embarrassed?

"Not charity," Jungkook says, voice even. "Just a neighbor thing."

"Hmph." Dona busies herself with folding a dishcloth. "Well, if you insist on playing delivery boy, I do need milk. And those crackers from last time."

"Got it." Jungkook nods, like this is just normal. Like he's not going completely out of his way for someone who doesn't even seem particularly grateful.

You frown, trying to make it make sense. 

Maybe... maybe it's a hustle? Maybe old ladies tip really well? Or maybe he's building up good karma because he's secretly done something terrible and needs to balance the cosmic scales?

The two of them chat for a bit longer, and you can't quite hear all of it, but you catch fragments—something about Dona's doctor's appointment, something about Jungkook's classes, something about a recipe for chicken soup.

It's all so... domestic. So weirdly normal. So completely at odds with the Jungkook you know—the one who teases you mercilessly, the one who fucks you against walls, the one with the sharp edges and the arrogant smirk.

You're so busy trying to reconcile these two versions of him that you almost miss it when Dona's voice rises slightly.

"...since Hector passed, and these new delivery apps, they charge so much..." Her voice wavers, just slightly. "...shouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg just to get groceries when you can't..."

Jungkook says something too low for you to catch, and Dona makes that "hmph" sound again. But this time it sounds different. Almost... vulnerable?

"Well," she says, louder now, "you're the only one who bothers to check. The others in this building, they see an old woman and they look right through her. Like I'm already a ghost."

Oh.

Oh shit.

Something uncomfortable twists in your chest. An emotion you don't want to examine too closely. Something that feels a lot like…

Shame.

Because that's exactly what you did, isn't it? You saw a grumpy old lady and decided she was the enemy. You never once considered that maybe she was just lonely. 

That maybe she uses sharpness as a shield. 

The same way you use sarcasm as one. 

"Not a ghost yet," Jungkook says, and his voice is gentler than you've ever heard it. "Still kicking my ass at dominoes every Thursday."

"Language," Dona scolds, but you can hear the smile in her voice. "And don't you forget it. I expect a rematch this week."

"Wouldn't miss it."

Wait. He plays dominoes with her? Weekly? What the actual fuck?

And now you feel even worse, because apparently Jungkook—the guy you've been dismissing as an arrogant player with no depth—has been spending his Thursday nights playing board games with a lonely old woman.

While you've been doing what? Watching Netflix and judging everyone's life choices?

Great. Now he's making you feel like an asshole without even trying. That's just perfect.

You turn back to your washing machine, genuinely focused on it this time, trying to process this new information. Trying to fit it into your understanding of who Jungkook is. 

It's not working very well.

When you hear footsteps approaching, you pretend to be busy. You don’t know why you can’t look at him in the eyes right now.

"Sheets are folded," Jungkook says, sliding up next to you. "World is saved."

"What a hero," you deadpan, still not looking at him.

"Someday you'll appreciate my many talents," he says, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. "Speaking of which, nice hoodie."

You finally glance at him, and yep—there's that stupid, self-satisfied grin. Like he's caught you doing something embarrassing. Which, to be fair, he has.

"It's practical," you say, tugging the hem down where it's riding up. "That's all."

"Sure," he agrees easily. "Very practical to keep my clothes. Much more practical than, say, returning them."

"You want it back?" You make a show of starting to pull it off. "Fine, take—"

"Keep it," he says quickly, and the way he says it—not teasing, not mocking, just simple and straightforward—catches you off guard. "It looks better on you anyway."

You freeze, hands still at the hem of the hoodie, not quite sure how to respond to that. It feels like a trap somehow, like if you accept, you're admitting to something. To what, you're not exactly sure.

"Whatever," you mutter, dropping your hands. "I'll wash it and give it back."

"No rush." He turns back to his own laundry, a small smile playing at his lips.

For a moment, you just stand there, watching him sort his clothes. Then you look away, annoyed with yourself for gawking.

"So," you say, as casual as you can muster,  "you're like, what? The old lady whisperer?"

He glances at you, eyebrow raised. "What?"

"You and Dona." You gesture vaguely in her direction. "The whole..." You wave your hand, trying to encompass whatever the hell it is you just witnessed. "...thing."

"The thing," he repeats, clearly amused. "Very specific."

"You know what I mean," you huff. "The helping her fold sheets thing. The grocery delivery thing. The dominoes thing."

His movements pause for just a fraction of a second, so brief you almost miss it. "You were eavesdropping?"

"It's a small laundry room," you point out. "And you weren't exactly whispering."

"It's not a big deal."

"Playing dominoes with an old lady every Thursday isn't a big deal?"

"It's just dominoes," he says, like that explains everything. 

Like it's completely normal to spend your free time entertaining your elderly neighbor when you could be, I don't know, literally anything else that twenty-something guys usually do on a Thursday night.

"And the groceries?"

"She has trouble carrying them up the stairs," he says with a shrug. "The delivery apps charge too much. It's not a big deal."

"You keep saying that," you note, studying his profile as he focuses very intently on separating a blue shirt from a white one. "But it kind of is. I mean, how many people in this building even know their neighbors' names?"

"Maybe they should. Maybe it wouldn't kill people to look up from their phones once in a while and notice the actual humans around them."

You blink, taken aback by the sudden intensity. "Okay, damn. Sorry I asked."

"No, I'm—" He exhales sharply. "I just don't like talking about it, okay? It's not a thing."

"Why?" you press, genuinely curious now. "Why is it such a big secret that you're apparently a decent human being?"

“It's not a secret. I just don't..." He shakes his head. "I don't do it for attention or whatever. It's just the right thing to do."

"So you don't want me to know you do the right thing?"

"I don't need a fucking gold star for basic human decency," he snaps, and now there's definitely an edge to his voice. "I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I'm not trying to—" He breaks off, stuffing clothes into the machine with more force than necessary. "Just drop it, alright?"

You raise your eyebrows, watching as he jams quarters into the slot with unnecessary aggression. It's almost like he's... embarrassed? No, that's not quite right. More like he's uncomfortable with you knowing this side of him.

Like he doesn't want you to think he's actually nice.

Which is weird, because most guys would be falling all over themselves to prove they're nice guys. To get those good-person points. To make sure everyone knows what a saint they are for helping the little old lady with her groceries.

But Jungkook seems genuinely annoyed that you found out. Almost defensive about it.

It's... interesting.

Weird.

"Fine," you say, lifting your hands in surrender. "Consider it dropped. Your secret identity as a decent human being is safe with me."

He exhales sharply through his nose, still not looking at you. "Thanks."

You both lapse into silence, the hum of the washing machines like tiny droplets of silence between both of you. 

Across the room, Dona is bustling around the dryers, muttering to herself about settings and temperatures. You sneaks glances at her, seeing her in a different light now.

Not just a grumpy old woman. 

A widow. 

Someone who lives alone and has to rely on the kindness of neighbors—specifically, one neighbor—for simple tasks like carrying groceries. 

Someone who's lonely enough that a weekly dominoes game is something to look forward to.

It makes your chest feel tight in a way you don't particularly like.

"Boy," Dona calls, breaking the silence. "What cycle for delicates?"

"Gentle, cold water," Jungkook calls back without hesitation, like he's some kind of laundry expert. Like this is a normal conversation they have all the time.

"Hmph," is Dona's only response, but you notice she follows his advice, adjusting the settings on the dryer.

"She likes you," you observe quietly.

Jungkook glances at you, then back at his machine. 

"She tolerates me," he corrects. "There's a difference."

"She doesn't even tolerate me."

"You've never offered to help with her sheets."

"I didn't know that was an option," you say, crossing your arms. "There's no sign-up sheet for 'Old Lady Sheet Folding' in the lobby."

He snorts, and just like that, the tension from earlier seems to dissipate. 

“Maybe there should be. Building-wide rotation."

"I can see it now," you say, following in on the joke. "'4B gets Monday sheets, 6A takes Tuesday sheets...'"

"'If you find yourself assigned to Wednesday sheets, please be aware that those are the cat-hair sheets,'" he continues, adopting a serious tone. "'Lint rollers will be provided.'"

You can't help it—you laugh

It's brief, just a small burst of amusement, but it's genuine. 

And when you glance at Jungkook, he's looking at you with a strange expression, like he's seeing something he didn't expect.

"What?" you ask, immediately self-conscious.

"Nothing," he says, turning back to his machine. But there's a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Just wondering if I should sign you up for Thursday sheets."

"Don't you dare," you warn, but it’s too soft. "I have enough on my plate without adding geriatric sheet duty."

"Could be worse," he says with a shrug. "Could be Tuesday sheets."

"What's Tuesday?"

"Bingo night." He wiggles his eyebrows. "Dona goes hard on the snacks."

You stare at him, once again thrown by this glimpse into a life you didn't know existed. "You're kidding."

"Only partly," he admits with a grin. "But seriously, Tuesday is when she does her big laundry loads. Always complains about the folding."

"And you know this because...?"

"Because I pay attention," he says simply, like it's obvious. Like everyone should just naturally notice these things about their neighbors. "It's not that complicated, Phoenix."

There's no judgment in his voice, but you still feel oddly defensive. Like you've been caught failing some basic test of humanity.

"Well, we can't all be saints," you mutter.

"Not trying to be a saint," he says, a hint of irritation creeping back it. "It's just—" He exhales sharply. "Never mind."

You watch him from the corner of your eye, trying to figure out what button you just pushed. Why this, of all things, seems to get under his skin.

"Sorry," you say finally, surprising even yourself. "I didn't mean to make it weird."

“It's fine."

"It's cool that you help her," you add, feeling awkward but pressing on anyway. "Seriously. Not everyone would."

"Yeah, well." He shrugs, clearly uncomfortable with the praise. "Like I said, it's not a big deal."

"Right." You nod, getting it now.

He really doesn't want the recognition. 

Doesn't want the attention for doing something decent. 

You both fall silent again, with Dona’s muttering as your only company. It's not uncomfortable, though. It's just... quiet. Companionable, almost.

Which is weird, because you don't do companionable silences with Jungkook. You do heated arguments and sarcastic exchanges and intense fucking. 

Not... this. Whatever this is.

"You ever play dominoes?" he asks suddenly, breaking the silence.

You blink at the unexpected question. 

“Not since I was a kid."

He nods, considering this. 

"Dona's always complaining that two players is boring. Says it's meant to be played with more people."

You wait for him to continue, to make the obvious invitation, but he doesn't. Just stands there, pretending to be deeply interested in the cycle display on his washing machine.

"Are you..." You squint at him. "Are you trying to ask me to play dominoes with you and Dona?"

"What? No." He scoffs, finger pressing random buttons. "Just making conversation."

"Right."

"I'm just saying," he continues, eyes fixed on the machine, "that if you ever… I dunno, find yourself bored on a Thursday night… There’s always dominoes."

Is he… Is he actually inviting you to his weird geriatric game night?

And if so, why

It's not like you've shown any interest in spending time with the elderly. Or with him, outside of the very specific context of fucking each other senseless.

"I'll keep that in mind," you say finally, not committing to anything.

"Cool."

"Cool."

Another silence falls.

You don’t say anything.

He doesn’t say anything.

And you’re still wearing his hoodie. And he’s still standing too close. 

And for a moment—just a brief, fleeting moment—you wonder what it would be like. To sit around a table with Jungkook and Dona, playing dominoes on a Thursday night. To see that side of him—the side that helps old ladies with groceries and remembers how they like their sheets folded.

It's a weird thought. An unfamiliar one. And you push it away almost as soon as it forms.

Because that's not what this is.

That's not what you are. 

You're roommates who sometimes fuck. You're not friends who play board games together.

"Boy," Dona calls from across the room, breaking into your thoughts. "What cycle for cotton?"

"High heat, Miss D," Jungkook calls back, and just like that, the moment—whatever it was—is broken.

He turns back to his sorting, and you turn back to yours, and everything goes back to normal. Or whatever passes for normal these days.

But you're still wearing his hoodie. And you're pretty sure you're not giving it back anytime soon.

Sometime later, you're leaning against the wall just outside the laundry room, scrolling mindlessly through your phone. 

Your thumb drags across the screen without purpose, not really taking in whatever the hell you're looking at—Instagram? Twitter? Does it matter? The washing machines finished twenty minutes ago, but Jungkook insisted on carrying both your loads like some kind of laundry martyr.

"I got it," he'd said, waving you off when you tried to grab your basket. "Go ahead."

So here you are, waiting, because it feels weird to just leave him down here with your underwear. Even though he's definitely seen your underwear before. In significantly more compromising contexts.

From inside the laundry room, you can hear the murmur of voices—Jungkook and Dona in what sounds like a heated debate about fabric softener. You catch fragments: "ruins the absorbency" and "smells nice" and "didn't raise my Hector to use that chemical garbage."

You roll your eyes. How is this your Sunday? Standing in a dingy hallway while your fuck buddy debates laundry techniques with a geriatric neighbor?

The door finally swings open, and Jungkook emerges, arms loaded with both laundry baskets stacked precariously on top of each other. His biceps flex as he adjusts the weight, and you're definitely not noticing that. 

"Ready?" he asks, nudging the door closed with his foot.

"Been ready," you murmur, pocketing your phone. "Some of us don't need an hour-long consultation about dryer settings."

"She has strong opinions about lint," he says, absolutely straight-faced, like this is a normal follow-up to any conversation.

"Fascinating." You push off from the wall, heading for the stairs. "Let's go before she recruits you for a lint task force or whatever."

He just grins, following behind you. 

The stairwell is narrow and poorly lit, with concrete steps that have seen better decades. 

You're a few steps ahead when you hear it—a dull thud followed by a muttered "fuck."

You spin around to see Jungkook stumbling backward, nearly dropping both baskets as his free hand flies to his forehead. There's an exposed pipe running along the low ceiling that you always duck under without thinking—you're not particularly tall—but apparently nobody warned Jungkook about it.

"Shit." The word leaves your mouth before you can stop it, and suddenly you're moving toward him, hands reaching out automatically. "You okay?"

He looks momentarily stunned, both by the impact and by your reaction. 

"Yeah, just—"

You're already on your tiptoes, fingers brushing his hair away from his forehead to check the damage. There's a red mark forming, but the skin isn't broken. His hair is softer than you expected, still slightly damp from his morning shower, and he smells like—

Wait.

What the fuck are you doing?

You freeze, suddenly aware of how close you are, of your fingers in his hair, of his eyes fixed on yours with an expression you can't quite read. 

Neither of you moves. 

His eyes dart between both of your pupils. 

"Um," you say intelligently, dropping your hands like his forehead is suddenly made of lava. "Be more careful. We don't need you more idiot than you already are."

Smooth. Really smooth.

His lips twitch, but he doesn't call you out on whatever the hell that sentence was supposed to be. "Thanks for the concern."

"I'm not concerned," you say automatically, already turning back toward the stairs. "Just don't want to deal with your concussed ass if you knock yourself out."

"Right." His voice follows you up the stairs. "God forbid you have to care about something."

"Exactly," you agree, not looking back. "Caring is for suckers."

You're halfway up the flight when you hear him grunt as he shifts the laundry baskets. It's a lot to carry, and the stairwell is narrow, but you're definitely not offering to help. That would imply you care, which you just explicitly denied. So.

There's a moment of shuffling footsteps behind you, then: "Wait a sec, Nix."

You turn, ready with some smart-ass comment about his head injury affecting his ability to climb stairs, but the words die in your throat. He's set both baskets down on the landing and is now kneeling on the step below you, looking at your feet.

"What are you—"

"Your shoes," he says, nodding at your sneakers. "They're untied."

You glance down. Sure enough, both laces on your ancient Converse are dragging on the concrete steps, a tripping hazard waiting to happen.

"I know," you lie. You didn't know. "I was gonna fix them later."

"Later, like after you face-plant on the stairs?" He's already reaching for your shoe, his big hands deftly gathering the laces. "With my luck, I'd have to call an ambulance, and they'd blame me for pushing you."

"I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of falling," you mutter, but you don't pull away.

Instead, you just stand there, weirdly frozen, as Jungkook—the guy who regularly makes you come so hard you see stars—ties your shoelaces like you're a fucking kindergartner.

His head is bent in concentration, dark hair falling over his forehead, partially hiding the red mark from the pipe. His hands move with practiced ease, looping and pulling. 

It's such a small thing. So mundane. So ordinary.

So why does your chest feel tight?

"There," he says, finishing the second shoe with a final tug. "Crisis averted."

He glances up at you, still kneeling, and something in his expression makes your stomach do a weird little flip. It's probably just the angle. The way the shitty stairwell lighting catches on his features. The lingering effects of morning caffeine making your pulse do stupid things.

"I could have done that myself," you say, but your voice comes out softer than you intended.

"I know." He shrugs, pushing himself to his feet and picking up the laundry baskets again. "But you didn't."

You don't have a good response to that, so you just turn and continue up the stairs, acutely aware of him following behind you. The only sound is your newly tied shoes against the concrete and his slightly labored breathing as he carries the laundry.

It's weird. 

This whole morning has been weird. 

First the hoodie, then Dona and the dominoes revelation, now this—Jungkook tying your shoes like it's nothing.

Like these small, casually intimate gestures are just things people do for each other.

Maybe they are. Maybe this is all completely normal roommate behavior, and you're the weird one for overthinking it.

It's not like he meant anything by it. 

He's just like that, apparently—the kind of guy who helps old ladies with groceries and plays dominoes on Thursdays and doesn't let people trip on their shoelaces. 

It's not personal. It's not about you.

He's just nice sometimes. In between being an absolute asshole who drives you crazy.

It doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't mean anything at all.

You finally make it to the apartment door, fishing your keys out of the pocket of Jungkook's stupid hoodie and hold the door open for him because he's still stubbornly carrying both laundry loads, despite your begrudging offer to take yours back.

"I can carry my own shit," you'd said on the landing between the second and third floors, trying to grab your basket.

He'd just smirked and swung it out of your reach. "I got it."

"I'm not helpless."

"Never said you were."

"So give me my laundry, asshole."

"Nope."

And that was that. Because apparently this is the hill he wants to die on. Stupid, stubborn, impossible man.

Now he strides past you into the apartment, annoyingly unbothered by the weight of two full baskets. 

You absolutely do not track how lean his arm muscles are as he sets them both on the table near the main door.

You definitely don't track the line of his shoulders as he rolls them back, working out the tension from the climb. 

And you certainly don't follow a bead of sweat as it trails down the side of his neck, disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt.

Because that would be pathetic. And you're not pathetic.

He starts rummaging through his basket, brows furrowed in concentration. Then he looks up, confusion clear on his face. 

“Wait, I'm missing a sock."

"Huh?"

"A sock." He holds up a single black sock with little Batman logos on it. "I should have two."

You stare at him blankly. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Did you see a sock drop or something? On the stairs, maybe?"

"Why would I be looking for your socks?" You cross your arms. "I have better things to do with my life than track your Batmans."

"Fuck it," he sighs. "I'm going downstairs again."

"Seriously? For a sock?"

"It's my favorite pair." He's already heading for the door. "Be right back."

And then he's gone, the door closing behind him with a soft click, leaving you standing there next to two baskets of laundry and feeling weirdly... abandoned

Which is ridiculous. It's a sock. He'll be back in five minutes. 

Get a grip, bitch.

You stare at the laundry baskets on the table. His and yours, side by side. 

Why did he insist on carrying yours? It's so stupidly... nice. And Jungkook isn't nice. He's arrogant and annoying and makes you want to pull your hair out. He's not supposed to tie your shoes or carry your laundry or play dominoes with old ladies.

It's throwing off your entire understanding of him, and that's irritating as hell.

You hate him. You definitely hate him.

Except that's getting harder to believe by the day.

The sound of a door opening breaks into your thoughts, but it's not the main door—it's Yoongi's room. Huh. Like seeing a bear outside hibernation season.

He shuffles into the kitchen, looking about as close to death as you've ever seen him. His hair is a disaster, sticking up in weird tufts like he’s barely managed to lay down on a horizontal surface. The bags under his eyes have bags. His t-shirt is wrinkled in that "I've been wearing this for days" way, and he's moving with the careful deliberation of someone who hasn't slept in approximately three centuries.

"Working?" you ask, because it seems like the only explanation for this zombie-like state.

"Unfortunately." His voice is rough, like he hasn't used it in hours. Maybe days.

He doesn't elaborate, just heads straight for the coffee maker. 

You don't ask. Not your business. 

Besides, you've got your own shit to worry about—like why you can't stop thinking about Jungkook carrying your laundry, or tying your shoes, or the way his hands moved when he was folding Dona's sheets.

God, you need a lobotomy.

Your gaze drifts around the apartment, trying to focus on literally anything else. It lands on the record collection displayed on the wall next to the TV. There must be at least thirty vinyl albums. You remember when Yeji was over last week, she mentioned them—commented on how eclectic the selection was.

You'd just shrugged and said they were Yoongi's. Because they had to be, right? Music producer, always holed up with headphones... it makes sense.

"Nice collection," you say, nodding toward the wall. 

You're not sure why you say it. Maybe to make conversation. Maybe to confirm your assumption. Maybe because some part of you suspects they're not Yoongi's at all, and you want to know what else you might have missed about Jungkook.

Not that you care about his likes or interests or anything. That would be dangerously close to caring about him as a person, which—ha! Absolutely not.

"Huh?" 

Yoongi turns around lazily, coffeepot in hand. He follows your gaze to the wall of records, and then—he scoffs. Actually scoffs, shaking his head like you've just said something so stupid he can't believe it came out of your mouth.

"Have you even checked them?" he asks, tone dry as the Sahara. "They're mostly Mayer."

You blink.

Mayer? As in John Mayer? As in the songs Jungkook plays on his guitar sometimes?

As in "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room"—the song he played that night in his room when he taunted you through text messages and you were stupid enough to actually walk in?

"They're Jungkook's," Yoongi adds after a beat of silence. "Not mine."

"Oh." The word falls from your lips automatically, small and insignificant, completely inadequate to express the weird reorganization happening in your brain. "But he doesn't have a record player?"

Yoongi just shrugs, pouring coffee into his mug. "Doesn't mean he can't collect them."

You stare at the vinyl collection with new eyes. Each album carefully chosen, meticulously arranged. A physical manifestation of something Jungkook cares about, something he values enough to collect even though he can't listen to them. Yet.

Something unwinds in your chest. A tight, small knot of... what? 

Surprise? 

Interest? 

Whatever it is, you don't like it. Don't want to examine it too closely. Because it feels dangerously like the beginning of seeing Jungkook as a whole person, not just the asshole who happens to be good in bed.

And that's not what this is. That's not what you are.

The door swings open, and there he is—stupid grin on his stupid face, waving a Batman sock in the air like he's just found buried treasure.

"Found it," he announces, triumphant. "It was stuck in the dryer door."

You give him the blankest stare you can muster. "Congratulations. Your sock journey is complete."

His grin just widens, completely unfazed by your sarcasm. "Thanks for the moral support, Phoenix. Couldn't have done it without you."

"I literally did nothing."

"Your energy kept me going."

You roll your eyes so hard it's a miracle they don't get stuck in the back of your head. He just laughs, that warm, rich sound that does absolutely nothing to your insides, and starts gathering his laundry.

"Later," you mutter, turning away before he can see the corner of your mouth threatening to twitch upward.

You grab your laundry basket head straight for your room, shutting the door with perhaps more force than necessary.

Safe in your own space, you fish your phone from your pocket—and see three missed calls from the same number. 

Ah. Barnes & Noble. 

Seems like you got the job. Which is good. Great, even.

This is what responsible adults do—get jobs, pay bills, build sensible futures. Not collect vinyl records they can't play or help old ladies with their grocery shopping or carry their roommates' laundry just because.

Normal, practical, boring adult stuff. That's what you're about.

Except now you can't stop thinking about those records on the wall. About what else you might have missed. About who Jungkook actually is when he isn't being an infuriating, cocky asshole. About—

About nothing. Because you don’t care. 

He’s Jungkook. Rogue. The infuriating roommate of yours that leaves towels everywhere and can’t be bothered to clean his own mugs. 

You toss your phone onto your bed and start aggressively pulling laundry from your basket. 

You've got shit to do. Clothes to put away. A job to call back about. A life to live that absolutely does not revolve around wondering why your roommate collects vinyl records or helps old ladies or ties your shoes when they're untied.

It doesn't matter. None of it matters.

(Except that it might. Just a little. And that's the most terrifying thought of all.)

Chapter 15: ambushed

Summary:

"You have no idea how you ended up being the middlewoman for Jungkook’s surprise birthday party. You also had no clue who Yeji’s brother was—except, apparently, you did. And now, on top of everything, there’s a hot teaching assistant who seems to be interested in you."

Notes:

OKAY SO. Here’s Chapter 15.

You absolute goblins hit the last goal in less than 24 hours, so naturally, I’m raising the bar—because I refuse to be outmaneuvered like this. Chapter 16 is already in progress, but you better give me enough time to finish and proofread it, or we’re gonna have problems.

Also, I’m out of town this weekend, which means I probably won’t be writing at all. Consider it my three-day break. SO TAKE IT SLOW. BREATHE. WE WILL REACH THE GOAL EVENTUALLY.

Anyway, this chapter was ridiculously fun to write because I finally got to have Y/N exchange numbers with Hobi and Tae. Also, Jungkook’s birthday is September 1st, and I’m keeping that canon, so… her getting roped into this party planning mess is hilarious to me (except, actually, not really—because free drinks. And let’s be real, I’d also agree if someone covered my tab for the night).

ALSOOOOO. New character unlocked! What are our thoughts on the TA? You’ll see Jungkook’s perspective next chapter. :) (Reminder: we’re dealing with limited POVs here, so read between the lines. It’s your job to play detective. These two are unreliable narrators, as we all know.)

Mwah mwah, Kiki out.

Chapter Text

College syllabi should come with a warning label: May cause extreme boredom and online shopping addiction.

Your cursor hovers between two different scented candles on your screen—both equally wrong for Emma's birthday. 

Fresh ocean waves. 

How is that not a standard candle scent? 

You've scrolled through seventeen different websites and the closest you've found is "Sea Breeze" (too generic) and "Ocean Mist" (which, according to reviews, smells like "bathroom cleaner with a hint of desperation").

Professor Herrington drones on about post-modern literary theory, his monotone voice basically putting everyone to sleep.

Except Jimin, because next to you, his pen scratches across his notebook, meticulous notes forming in his neat handwriting. 

Thank god for Jimin. 

Your own notebook sits open with exactly three words written at the top: "Post-modern lit is..." The sentence remains unfinished because, well, you stopped paying attention approximately forty-two minutes ago.

Your phone buzzes against your thigh. Once. Twice. Three times in rapid succession.

What fresh hell is this? you wonder, sliding it out just enough to peek at the notifications.

 +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗  created a new conversation

 +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗  named the conversation "kafka my beloved"

 +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗  added You to "kafka my beloved"

You blink at the notification. What the actual fuck?

You open the chat under your desk, finding only Yoongi's contact among two other +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗 s.

 +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗 : 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚋

 +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗 : 𝚒 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚍 :)

 +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗 : 𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚢/𝚗! 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚋𝚒 :) 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛?

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝙸𝚝’𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔’𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢.

You stare at your phone, momentarily confused. Jungkook's birthday? Since when are you involved in anything Jungkook-related that doesn't involve slamming doors, fighting over Griffin, or... well, the other thing that nobody knows about?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚖𝚖 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚖 𝚒 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚙 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚔𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍

A pause, and then:

 +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗 : 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝

 +𝟏 (𝟗𝟏𝟕) 𝐗𝐗𝐗-𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐗 : 𝚒’𝚖 𝚝𝚊𝚎𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚝𝚠… 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚠

Ah, of course. Mr. Artistic-and-Condescending himself. You quickly save his contact as "𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨" and the other as "𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃".

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚠𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝙴𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚖𝚊𝚓𝚘𝚛 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚋𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎??

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚍𝚘 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚢

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔’𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚍?? 

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝚜𝚝.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍’𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚍

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚑 𝚋𝚘𝚢, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚒’𝚖 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜 𝚒’𝚖 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚟𝚘𝚕𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢???

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢! 𝚠𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢!

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚠𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚙𝚕𝚞𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎! 🥳

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚊𝚜 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍… 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚘

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝? 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚍𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒?

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒 𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝟷.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚒 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎... 𝚠𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜?? 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘??

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎’𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢! 🎂

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚙𝚕𝚞𝚜, 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠?

There's a noticeable pause in the conversation, and you glance up to make sure Professor Harrington hasn't caught you texting. He's still gesturing wildly about stream of consciousness, completely oblivious.

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚜

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚋 𝚊𝚝 𝙱𝙽

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗? 𝚠𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝟾𝚙𝚖 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚞𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚊𝚝 𝟻

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚊’𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚒’𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚊

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚒’𝚖 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚞𝚕𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚛 🙃

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚜𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝? 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝! 🎉

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢?

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝙳𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛. 𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜. 𝚂𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎.

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 ^

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚠𝚎 𝚛 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚠𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 (𝚢𝚘𝚞) 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝟾 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢? 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚡 𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐?

Another pause, longer this time. You can practically feel the tension through the screen.

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚠𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕! 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 😊

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 "𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝" 𝚜𝚘 𝚒’𝚖 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚒𝚊?

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚊?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎, 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚒𝚍𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚕

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚘 𝚒’𝚖 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚙?

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚕

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎’𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙, 𝚢/𝚗! 💫

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚠𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚍𝚔

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝚆𝚎’𝚕𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚖𝚖𝚖𝚖𝚖𝚖…

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 💕

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕?

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚒’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚛

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚍𝚌 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚙𝚊𝚢𝚜, 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜 ☺️

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜? 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚖?

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚜.

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚒’𝚖 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜! 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚊 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚜

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚙 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚢-𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎’𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢???

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚏

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝? 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚏𝚕𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚍

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊?

Your cheeks heat up as you remember exactly how you know Jungkook likes vanilla—specifically, the vanilla-scented body wash you were wearing the night you ended up in bed with him. 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜???

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚐𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝙷𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊.

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚘𝚘𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝟽𝚝𝚑! 🍪

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎!

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚔 𝚜𝚘

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝... 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚠𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚗?

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜?

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚗

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚠𝚎’𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐! 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘! 🥳

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚒𝚝’𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝟷𝟻 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚘 𝚒’𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚘

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒’𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝? 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛?

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚕𝚎𝚝’𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 😕

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛!

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎,𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚔 🙄

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜, 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚜𝚘 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙 𝚒𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚙 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚝

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚝𝚟

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝙶𝚘𝚘𝚍.

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚢/𝚗! 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 🙏

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚙

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚊

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚗𝚘𝚠

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚑𝚘𝚕

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚢

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚑𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜! 📚

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚍

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚖

You bite your lip, thinking about exactly how "personal" things have gotten between you and Jungkook in the three weeks since you moved in. 

If they only knew.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚑𝚞𝚑

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚏𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚝

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝! 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢! 🎉

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚞𝚙

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝙼𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛?

𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐢💃: 𝚢𝚎𝚜! 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚐𝚘! 🚀

You lock your phone just as Professor Harrington calls on someone in the front row to analyze a passage. Jimin gives you a side-eye that clearly says "I saw you texting the whole time," but he slides his notes closer to you anyway.

Now you have two birthday gifts to figure out, and somehow you need to convince Jungkook—the guy you've been having no-strings-attached sex with for the past few weeks—to go to a restaurant without making it weird or suspicious.

And apparently there's some mysterious birthday trauma you're not allowed to know about.

Great. Just great.

You click back to the birthday options for Emma. At least one decision should be simple.

When the lecture finally ends, you let out a yawn so massive it feels like your jaw might unhinge. The kind of yawn that makes your eyes water and your whole body stretch like a cat waking up from a seventeen-hour nap.

"Could you at least pretend to pay attention?" Jimin taps you on the head with his pen. Not hard enough to hurt, just enough to be annoying. Like a woodpecker with perfect hair and a conscience.

You rub your eyes, smudging whatever mascara you bothered to put on this morning. "What for? I'll just jam it all in my head two weeks before the exam and I'll pass it. Always works."

"Until it doesn't," he says with that little smile that makes you want to both hug him and flick his forehead. The smile that says he's judging you but in the nicest possible way.

"Has worked for the past two years," you counter, shoving your mostly empty notebook into your bag. "I'm basically a professional at academic procrastination at this point."

Jimin slides his laptop into its case with the precision of someone who actually paid for their electronics themselves instead of guilting their parents into it like you did. He zips it closed and slings the strap across his body, adjusting it so it sits perfectly against his hip.

And then he just... stands there. In front of your table. Waiting.

It's such a small thing. Stupid, really. 

But as you fumble with your pens and shove crumpled papers into your bag, you can't help but notice how he's just there. Not rushing ahead with a quick "see you later" thrown over his shoulder. Not walking out with other classmates while you're left scrambling to catch up.

He just waits. Patiently. Drumming his fingers against the edge of the desk in a rhythm that probably matches whatever song is stuck in his head today. His eyes wander around the lecture hall, watching other students file out in chattering groups.

You've only known Jimin for what—three and a half weeks?—since the semester started, but somehow he's already figured out this thing that matters to you without you having to say it. 

The waiting. The not leaving first.

A smile tugs at your lips before you can stop it. You try to hide it by ducking your head, but when you glance up, Jimin's looking down at you with one eyebrow quirked in question.

"Let's go to Jin's," you say, zipping your bag closed with more force than necessary. "Coffee. My treat."

"Alright," he agrees easily, but his eyes are knowing. "But just because it's your treat."

You roll your eyes. "I’m not made of money."

"Says the girl who spent the entire lecture online shopping."

"That's different. That's for Emma's birthday." You sling your bag over your shoulder and start walking toward the exit. "And apparently I need to get something for Jungkook too now."

"Jungkook?" Jimin falls into step beside you. "Your roommate? The one you said, and I quote, 'has the personality of a wet sock with tattoos'?"

"Did I say that?" You wince. "That's a little harsh. He's more like... a slightly damp sock. With tattoos. And a cat."

"Uh-huh." Jimin holds the door open for you because of course he does. "And you're buying him a gift because...?"

"His friends are planning this whole surprise birthday thing and somehow I got roped into it." You step outside into the September sunshine, immediately regretting your choice of a black t-shirt. "I have to get him to some ramen place on Saturday without making it obvious."

"Sounds like a job for someone who actually likes him," Jimin says, adjusting his bag strap again.

"That's what I said!" You throw your hands up. "But apparently I'm the only option because Yoongi's too obvious or whatever."

You navigate through the crowded walkway, automatically stepping closer to Jimin when a group of skateboarders whizzes by. 

"So what are you getting him?" Jimin asks.

"No idea. His friend suggested whiskey or photography books." You mumble. "But it feels weird to get him something when we barely know each other."

Jimin gives you a look that's a little too perceptive for comfort. "You live together. How do you barely know each other after almost a month?"

"We're not exactly having heart-to-hearts over breakfast, Jimin." You avoid his eyes. "It's more like ships passing in the night. Ships that occasionally fight over whose turn it is to clean the bathroom."

"Hmm." It's a noncommittal sound, but somehow Jimin packs a lot of doubt into that one syllable.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." He shrugs. "Just seems like there might be more to the story."

You nearly trip over your own feet. Does he know? How could he know? You've been so careful not to mention anything about your... arrangement with Jungkook. But Jimin has this annoying sixth sense about people.

"There's nothing to tell," you say, too quickly. "He's just my roommate. Who happens to need a birthday gift now."

"If you say so." Jimin mercifully drops the subject. "So what did you end up getting for Emma?" 

"Nothing yet. I was looking at candles, but none of them are right. She likes ocean scents, but all the ones I found online smell like bathroom cleaner according to the reviews."

"What about that little shop on 12th? The one with all the handmade stuff?"

You blink at him. "What shop on 12th?"

"The one we walked past last week when you were complaining about your landlord's no-pets policy while simultaneously showing me fifty pictures of Griffin."

"Oh." You vaguely remember a storefront with crystals in the window. "I didn't notice it."

"Of course you didn't." Jimin's smile is fond. "You were too busy telling me how Griffin only knocks over Jungkook's things but never yours."

"Because it's true! That cat has taste. But yeah, maybe we could check out that shop after coffee? If you're not busy?"

“Maybe after coffee.”

You stick your tongue out at him, and he laughs—that bright, genuine laugh that makes it impossible not to smile back. It's weird having a friend like Jimin. Someone who waits for you after class and remembers the shops you walk past and doesn't make you feel like you're too much or not enough.

It's nice. 

Really nice.

The bell chiming in Jin's shop shouldn't come as a surprise. 

So it doesn't. 

What does, however, is Professor Kim standing next to your university best friend Yeji as she animatedly complains about coffee to Jin, who looks like he's rolling his eyes so hard they might fall out of his head and roll across the counter.

You stop dead in your tracks, nearly causing Jimin to crash into your back. Your brain immediately halts its processes like you've just witnessed your high school principal at a strip club. 

Because what the actual fuck is Professor Namjoon Kim—the English department's golden boy who publishes in journals you can't even pronounce—doing hanging out with Yeji

It's like seeing your therapist at the grocery store. Or your gynecologist at a bar. 

Some people just shouldn't exist outside their designated spaces in your life.

"Uh... hi Yeji?" you mutter, approaching the counter.

Your hand instinctively grabs the handle of your bag, clutching it like it might somehow explain this bizarre crossover episode of your life.

Jimin grabs your arm from behind, his fingers digging into your bicep as he tries to subtly pull you away. You can practically feel the panic radiating off him. 

Makes sense. 

Professor Kim is basically his academic idol—the guy probably has Namjoon's journal articles taped to his ceiling like other people have posters of rock stars.

But your curiosity is stronger than your sense of self-preservation. It always has been.

"Why are you with Professor Kim?" you blurt out, gesturing between them with your free hand. "That's such an odd combination?"

Yeji turns around, her perfectly glossed lips forming a small 'o' of surprise before morphing into an amused smile. "You mean my brother?"

Brother?

You actually feel your mouth hanging open, but you can't seem to close it. It's like your jaw muscles have gone on strike.

"Your what now?" you choke out, eyes darting between them. 

And holy shit, how did you not see it before? They have the same eyes. The same way of tilting their head slightly when confused. The same fucking dimples when they smile.

"Brother," Yeji repeats slowly, like you might not understand the concept of siblings. "You know, same parents, shared childhood trauma, occasional desire to commit murder?"

Professor Kim—Namjoon—lets out a deep chuckle that somehow makes him seem less like the intimidating academic genius and more like... well, Yeji's dorky older brother.

"I didn't realize you two knew each other," he says, looking between you and Yeji with genuine surprise.

"We're in the same class for History of Modern Art," Yeji explains, then turns to you with narrowed eyes. "Wait, how do you know Joon?"

"He, uh—" you start, but Jimin cuts you off, apparently having recovered from his initial shock.

"Professor Kim helped Y/N with her English assignment last week in the cafeteria," he says, his voice doing that slightly higher thing it does when he's nervous. "He's my Literary Criticism professor."

Jin, who's been watching this whole exchange with the entertained expression of someone witnessing a particularly juicy reality TV show, slides a cup across the counter. 

“Your usual, Joon. Maybe this will help you process the fact that your worlds are colliding."

"Thanks," Namjoon says, accepting the coffee. "And it's not that weird. University's a small place."

"Not that weird?" you repeat, your voice climbing an octave. "Yeji's been my friend for almost a month and she never once mentioned her brother is the Professor Kim who's published in like, every major literary journal and is the youngest professor in the English department!"

Yeji shrugs, completely unbothered by your minor meltdown. "Why would I? It's not like I go around introducing myself as 'Yeji Kim, sister of Namjoon Kim, academic wunderkind.'"

"You absolutely should," Jin interjects, wiping down the counter. "It's much more interesting than 'Yeji Kim, girl who complains about my coffee being too bitter even though that's literally how coffee tastes.'"

"It doesn't have to taste like liquid punishment, Jinjin," Yeji fires back.

“Call me that again, I dare you.”

She just sticks her tongue out at him. 

Meanwhile, your brain is still trying to process this information. Yeji—your friend who constantly convinces you to skip class—is related to the professor who casually dropped references to obscure literary theories while helping you with your paper. The same professor who Jimin practically worships from afar.

The bell chimes again, and Namjoon glances over your shoulder, his face lighting up with recognition.

"Jason! Perfect timing," he calls out, waving someone over.

You turn to see a man who looks like he walked straight out of an academic journal's "30 Under 30" feature. Dark wavy hair, green eyes, and a messenger bag settled against his thigh. He looks younger than Namjoon but carries himself with the same confident ease, minus the dorky energy Namjoon apparently reserves for his sister.

"Sorry I'm late," he says, approaching your little group. "Office hours ran long."

"Everyone, this is Jason Calloway," Namjoon introduces as the newcomer reaches you. "He's a teaching assistant in the English department, working on his PhD. Jason, this is my sister Yeji, her friend Y/N, and—"

"Jimin Park," Jason finishes, nodding at Jimin. "From Literary Criticism, right? Front row, always has insightful questions."

Jimin looks like he might spontaneously combust from the recognition. "Y-yes, that's me."

"And Jin, the coffee wizard," Namjoon adds, gesturing to the barista.

Jin gives a curt nod, his ‘usual’ friendliness suddenly dialed down to about a three. "Professor Calloway."

"Please, just Jason," he insists with a smile that reveals perfect teeth. 

(Of course they're perfect. The guy probably flosses twice a day and has never had a cavity in his life.)

His eyes land on you, and you feel weirdly self-conscious about the fact that you haven't brushed your hair since you woke up.

"Y/N, was it?" he asks, extending his hand. "I don't think I've seen you in any of the English department courses."

You shake his hand, noticing how firm his grip is. Like, professional-level handshake firmness. 

“That's because I'm not in Literary Criticism. Though I’m friends with Yeji and uh, occasionally get help from her brother when I'm desperate."

"She's being modest," Namjoon interjects. "She wrote an excellent analysis of Joyce's symbolism in 'Araby' last week."

"Really?" Jason's eyebrows rise with what seems like genuine interest. "That's one of my favorite stories from Dubliners. What was your take?"

And suddenly you're discussing your half-assed paper with this unfairly attractive TA while everyone else watches. 

"...so basically I argued that the bazaar represents this false promise of escape that ultimately just reinforces the narrator's entrapment," you finish, surprised at how coherent you sound.

"That's a compelling reading," Jason says, and he actually sounds like he means it. "Have you considered taking any of the modernist literature electives? Professor Harlow is teaching one next semester that would build on exactly those kinds of insights."

"Oh, I don't know if—"

"She'd be perfect for it," Namjoon agrees, nodding enthusiastically. "Y/N has a natural instinct for literary analysis.”

You shoot him a betrayed look. Way to trap you in front of Hot TA.

"I'll think about it," you say, which is your standard response to any suggestion that might involve additional work.

"You should," Jason says, pulling out his phone. "Actually, I'm putting together a study group for students interested in modernist literature. We meet at the library on Thursdays. Nothing formal, just discussions. Would you want me to text you the details?"

Is he... is he asking for your number? Under the guise of academic enrichment?

"Sure," you hear yourself saying, even though the last thing you need is another commitment. 

You recite your number as he types it into his phone.

"Great," he says, pocketing his phone with a smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners. "I'll text you the information."

Jin clears his throat loudly. "Are you ordering something, or just recruiting for your book club?"

"Black coffee, please," Jason says, unfazed by Jin's tone. "And whatever these two are having." He gestures to you and Jimin.

"Oh, that's not necessary—" you start.

"I insist," Jason says. "Consider it a thank you for the interesting conversation."

"I was going to treat Jimin," you protest weakly.

"Then you can treat him next time," Jason counters smoothly.

“Coming right up," Jin says in a tone that suggests he'd rather be doing literally anything else.

"So, Jason," Yeji pipes up. “In a scale of one to ten, how boring is it working with my brother?”

“I’m literally right here.” Namjoon rolls his eyes.

“I’m not talking to you.” She nudges his shoulder.

And just like that, you find yourself observing Professor Kim engaging in sibling banter with your black cat girl friend. 

Jimin just sighs.

Jason smiles.

And you… You can't help the small smile that tugs at your lips.

Because he’s kinda cute. 

And he thinks you're smart, which is... new. 

And nice.

And probably easy and not at all like what you have to fight everyday back at home.

Jimin leans close to your ear. "Did you just get adopted by the Teaching Assistant?" he whispers.

"Shut up," you mutter back, but there's no heat in it.

You're too busy wondering why Jin looks like he's trying to murder Jason with his eyes as he aggressively steams milk for your latte.

You are going to kill Yoongi.

Not in a fun, theoretical way. Not in a haha, wouldn’t it be so funny if you just disappeared way. No, in a genuine, how dare you way. A why the fuck would you tell me that way. Because now you know, and it’s annoying.

Because who the fuck just collects vinyls without owning a record player? Seriously? Is Jungkook, like, a museum curator in his free time? A hoarder? A hipster? A tragic romantic who thinks the idea of playing them is better than actually hearing the music?

And why do you know this about him now? Why do you have to sit here, staring at your phone screen, realizing that—wow, Jungkook actually cares about something other than his cat, his coffee machine, or sex?

(Not that you can complain about that last one. The guy is good. But anyway. Not the point.)

The point is: you need to get him a gift, and you had thought, for maybe five minutes, oh, a record player, that’s easy, before the internet informed you that you are, in fact, an idiot. Because apparently, these things are not cheap. Not even close.

Like, two hundred dollars minimum. Minimum

What the actual fuck? Are these things hand-carved by monks in the Swiss Alps? Does each one come with a vial of David Bowie’s blood? 

No wonder Jungkook doesn’t have one. Knowing him, he probably wants some artisan audiophile masterpiece that costs a month’s rent, because apparently, he only likes expensive shit. If his coffee machine is any indication, he’s the kind of guy who thinks “entry-level” is an insult.

So, yeah. That’s a dead end.

Which is just great, because why should it be easy to buy a gift for your stupid, annoying roommate? The same roommate you—occasionally—fuck. The same roommate who gives you pretty damn good orgasms (objectively speaking) but also apparently sometimes ties your shoelaces and carries your fucking laundry basket. 

Not that those things mean anything. He’s still annoying. 

And this is just… inconvenient.

Because it shouldn't be this hard. Emma’s gift was easier. A candle. Because you know her. Have known her for years, since high school, since braces and straight A’s and sleepovers in a house that wasn’t filled with the crushing weight of expectation.

It’s not like you and Emma were inseparable or anything, but she was safe. Predictable in a way that your own life wasn’t. Parents who asked about school but didn’t make your worth dependent on it. A house that felt lived in, not curated for appearances. You spent whole weekends there sometimes, away from the asphyxiating worry and tightly wound smiles of home.

And yet, even with all that history, buying her a gift was easy. Thoughtless, almost. Because you know what she likes. What she always likes. Ocean scents. Easy. Done. But with Jungkook—

You don’t know him. 

Not like that

Not in ways that make gift-buying easy. 

You know what his mouth feels like on your skin, what he sounds like when he’s cumming, the way his grip tightens when you push him past the point of coherence. 

You know he doesn’t just fuck, he devours, the way he lets himself lose control but never in a way that feels unsafe. 

You know that Jungkook.

But this? This is something else entirely.

And it’s not like you’re overthinking it. You just… refuse to get him something meaningless? Because, what—his friends are getting him stuff that matters to him, and you’re not gonna make yourself look stupid by giving him a random mug. 

And clearly, a vinyl player is out of the question because you are not spending two hundred dollars on this man.

Because, get real. You’ve known him for a month

Maybe you should just go with the whiskey. Or the macarons. Or whatever the hell else his friends suggested.

But the thought of it doesn’t sit right.

It should. It should sit right.

But it doesn’t.

And then Jason is holding the door open, and Jimin is nudging you through like you’re some kid hesitating at the threshold of a dentist’s office. You shoot him a glare, but he just raises his brows in that infuriating way that says get a move on, and okay, fine

You step inside the library. 

It’s its usual hushed, sterile self—muted conversations, the soft clatter of laptop keys, the occasional rustle of a page turning. You’ve spent enough time here that the whole place feels mapped into your brain, familiar in a way that’s more about necessity than comfort.

Jason, of course, is completely at ease, like someone who actually enjoys being in academic settings. He had mentioned he could help you both out with your subjects—literary criticism for Jimin, contemporary poetry for you—and maybe the whole thing should feel a little weird. 

Because it is weird. 

Jason is a teaching assistant. He’s basically one step removed from a professor, and getting study help from someone who could realistically grade your future papers seems like it should be against some kind of rule.

But also, he’s attractive. And if you have to suffer through an afternoon of studying, you may as well have something nice to look at.

And okay, it’s not just that. He’s actually competent. He seems interested in the material, which is already more than you can say for yourself when it comes to dissecting yet another pretentious poem that somehow manages to say absolutely nothing in fourteen unnecessarily complicated lines. 

And if he makes studying less of a slow, painful death? 

Well. That’s a deal worth taking.

So you walk. And you do it carefully, because the last thing you need is to trip over your own feet and make a spectacular fool of yourself in front of Jason and his perfectly effortless, I-have-my-life-together aura. 

Jimin moves ahead, leading the way like he always does, because he has a whole system for this.

The table. Your table. The one tucked away far enough that nobody bothers enforcing the stupid beverage policy, even though Jimin swears that’s not the only reason he picks it every time. But to get there, you have to take the lift, which means a little more walking, a little more weaving through the maze of bookshelves and seating areas.

You’re mid-step, following Jimin’s path, when the hairs on the back of your neck suddenly stand on edge.

It’s instant, sharp, like someone just screamed your name in the dead silence of a church. Except no one did. Nothing changed. The library still hums with the same subdued energy, people still absorbed in their own work, but—

Your head turns before you even realize why.

And there he is.

Jungkook.

Sitting at a table to your left, laptop open, fingers resting on the keyboard like he was mid-typing before he got distracted. 

And yeah, he is distracted, because his eyes are lifted from the screen, gaze settled on the girl beside him. She’s leaning in, whispering something, lips barely moving, and whatever she said—whatever it was—makes his mouth quirk up at the corner in that stupid, smug way that he does when he thinks he’s being effortlessly charming.

It shouldn’t be interesting.

But for some reason, your feet almost stutter.

It’s like your body noticed him before your brain did, like some ridiculous internal Jungkook radar just activated without your permission.

And you hate that.

Hate that he’s even registering in your periphery, let alone taking up any space in your thoughts. 

But your eyes are still on him. And worse, his shift.

His gaze drifts from the girl—slowly, lazily, like he’s not in any rush—until it lands on you.

And that is the moment that something tightens in your chest.

Because now he’s looking. Now he sees you, standing there, caught in this stupid little moment of unexpected eye contact. And if there’s one thing you hate, it’s that Jungkook is the type of person who notices things. 

Apparently

Because since when do you notice he notices things?

And then his gaze drifts.

Past you. Over your shoulder. Taking in the presence behind you like he’s cataloging it. 

Jimin, probably. Maybe Jason. 

Either way, something shifts in his expression—not dramatically, not like some big revelation, just the smallest flicker of recognition.

But then?

Then there’s the eyebrow.

A small quirk, barely there, but unmistakably him. The way it pulls up, just enough to suggest something—questioning, curious, maybe vaguely amused. 

Or maybe not amused at all. Maybe something closer to why the fuck are you here? Or who the fuck is that? Or is this really what we’re doing today?

Like you have any idea.

Like you even know what it is about this moment that makes your stomach do something unpleasantly close to twisting.

Your shoulders pull up in an easy, practiced shrug, the universal sign for why the fuck do you care? Because, really, why does he? 

Or does he?

Whatever. You’re here to study. With Jimin. And Jason, apparently. Who happens to be helping. And also happens to be attractive. And none of that is Jungkook’s business.

Except now you have to keep walking.

Which, for some reason, feels like an entirely different task than just existing a second ago. Like there’s a new weight to it now, something too aware of the fact that he’s watching. 

You should just go. Pass by. Move on. But your body is hyper-conscious of every step, every shift, every inch of space between you and the table where Jungkook sits, his laptop open, his fingers still hovering over the keyboard like he’s supposed to be typing.

But isn’t.

And then Jimin is stepping ahead again, and Jason is right beside you, and there’s no reason for you to hesitate even for a second longer.

So you don’t.

You just keep walking.

And you feel him keep staring.

And then you’re sliding into a chair far away from him (thankfully), whilst Jimin settles across from you. Jason takes the seat to your left, close enough that you catch a whiff of something woodsy and expensive. 

It's fine. This is fine. You're just here to study, not to think about the way Jungkook's eyes followed you or how his stupid eyebrow quirked up like he was asking a question you couldn't quite decipher. 

So you reach for your bag, fishing out your contemporary poetry textbook—a tome so dense it could double as a weapon in a pinch. The cover stares up at you, all pretentious font and abstract artwork, like it's judging you for not appreciating its profound literary significance or whatever.

But before you can even crack it open, your phone buzzes against your thigh. Once. Twice. Like it's impatient, demanding attention right fucking now.

With a sigh that's more dramatic than strictly necessary, you pull it out, already knowing who it's going to be. Because of course. Of course he can't just let it go.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚛 𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

You stare at the screen, torn between annoyance and something dangerously close to amusement. Because really? That's what he's going with?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’t 𝚒 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝??? 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢 🤨

The reply comes faster than you expected, like he was waiting with his thumbs hovering over the keyboard.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚞 𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜

You snort, earning a curious glance from Jimin. You wave him off, mouthing "it's nothing" even as your fingers are already tapping out a response.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚏𝚌 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚒 𝚜𝚘 𝚊𝚖

You bite your lip to keep from smiling. Because it's not funny. It's not. He's just being an ass, as usual. But there's something about the quick back-and-forth that feels... familiar. Easy. Like verbal sparring but without the weight of having to actually look at each other.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗?

There's a pause. Longer this time. You imagine him glancing at the girl next to him, maybe offering some half-assed excuse for his distraction. 

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚙 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚞𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚙𝚕 𝚒 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝟸 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢

You roll your eyes so hard it almost hurts.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚓𝚊𝚗

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚝𝚏 𝚒𝚜 𝚓𝚊𝚗

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍... 😭 𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚎. 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚐𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘…

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚑𝚖

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐?

Another pause. This one feels different. Heavier somehow. Like he's weighing his words, which is ridiculous because when has Jungkook ever carefully considered what comes out of his mouth?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚢

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚏

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚋𝚌 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝟸? 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚡

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 👏👏👏

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚍𝚊𝚖𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚝

There’s a pause. 

One second.

Two seconds.

Three.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚛 𝚞 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢

And there it is. The question you knew was coming but still somehow catches you off guard. Because how do you explain Jason? How do you casually mention that you're getting extra help from an attractive TA without it sounding... like something it's not?

Not that it matters what Jungkook thinks. Because it doesn't. At all.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚓𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗. 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚝𝚊. 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢 😀

You hit send before you can overthink it. But as soon as the message goes through, you feel a knot forming in your stomach. Like you've said too much. Or not enough. Or just... something.

The typing bubble appears. Disappears. Appears again. 

What the hell is taking him so long?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚑𝚖𝚖𝚖

That's it? Hmmm? What the fuck does that even mean?

You're about to type out a snarky reply when Jason leans in, his shoulder brushing against yours.

"Everything okay?" he asks, voice low enough not to disturb the library's hushed atmosphere.

"Yeah," you say, maybe a bit too quickly. "Nothing important."

Jason nods, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Well, whenever you're ready, we can start with Sylvia Plath's 'Lady Lazarus.' I think you'll find her use of Holocaust imagery particularly interesting in the context of personal rebirth."

Great. Just great. Holocaust imagery and personal rebirth. Exactly what you need right now when your brain is too busy trying to decode Jungkook's monosyllabic response.

Your phone buzzes again.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚗 

You blink at the screen. Because what the actual fuck?

And maybe you stay there, waiting for another message that doesn't come. Which is stupid because there's nothing to say. You're here to study. He's... doing whatever the hell he's doing. That's it.

So why does it feel so weird?

"Y/N?" Jimin's voice cuts through your thoughts. "You with us?"

You look up, suddenly aware that both Jimin and Jason are watching you expectantly. Waiting for you to join them in the exciting world of modernist poetry or whatever the hell you're supposed to be doing.

"Yeah," you say, shoving your phone into your bag with more force than necessary. "I'm here. Let's do this."

But as you flip open your textbook, you can't shake the feeling that he’s here. Not watching you, because you’re nowhere near him right now. But it’s like his presence hovers in an inconvenient way.

Fuck Jungkook and his stupid, cryptic texts. Fuck him and his ability to get under your skin with just a few words. And fuck you for letting him.

You've got poems to analyze and a cute TA to impress. 

That's what you're here for. 

That's all you're here for.

So. Thirty-five minutes.

That’s all it takes.

Thirty-five minutes of Sylvia Plath and Jason’s smooth, perfectly enunciated explanations. Thirty-five minutes of Jimin occasionally sighing like he’s reconsidering his entire major. Thirty-five minutes of not thinking about Jungkook. Of not wondering if he’s still at that table, if he’s still watching, if he’s still—

Ding.

Your fingers tighten around your pen. You already know.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎?

You exhale sharply through your nose, tapping your phone awake under the table.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎, 𝚘𝚏𝚌 𝚒’𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎. 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝟹𝟻 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚜. 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚒 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎???

It takes less than three seconds for the typing bubble to appear.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐. 𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗’𝚝 𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘???

“Your focus seems to be slipping.”

You blink up at Jason, who’s watching you with a raised brow, his fingers still resting lightly on his open book. Jimin doesn’t even pretend to hide his judgment, lips twitching as he leans back in his chair.

“Sorry,” you mutter, stuffing your phone between the pages of your textbook like it’s a bookmark instead of a distraction. “Just—uh, go on.”

Jason doesn’t push, but Jimin gives you a look. 

Your phone buzzes again.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚕𝚘𝚕. 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎. 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚞 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚓𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 “𝚠𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚢𝚖𝚋𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚌”

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚖𝚛. “𝚊𝚑 𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖 𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝟻 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐”

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡. 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚍.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚘𝚘𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚞𝚛 𝚊 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚙.

The typing bubble appears again, then disappears. Then again. Then—

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚒𝚖 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖

Your heart skips.

Which is stupid. Stupid. Because why? What about that message is even remotely heart-skipping-worthy? It’s a statement. A fact. A piece of information you didn’t ask for and definitely don’t care about.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢…? 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐???

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚗𝚊𝚑 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛

And, okay. That’s fine. That’s totally, completely normal information. He’s in the bathroom. On the second floor. You’re on the second floor. That’s fine.

So why does your stomach feel weird?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚌’𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚎

Your fingers freeze over the keyboard.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚕𝚘𝚕 𝚗𝚘?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚕𝚘𝚕 𝚢𝚎𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚍𝚘 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑??

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚗𝚘 𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚋𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍

Your breath catches, pulse flickering against your throat.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚎𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚐 𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎. 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 💀 

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚊𝚗𝚍?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚍𝚢𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍??? 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚘𝚔? 𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚍𝚘 𝚒???

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚖𝚑𝚖. 𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚞 𝚍𝚘. 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚗𝚊 𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚞 𝚍𝚘.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚗𝚊𝚑. 𝚞 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗 𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 🤨

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚗𝚒𝚡.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚛𝚘.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚘𝚗 𝚞𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚜, 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗’ 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚔

Your stomach tightens.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚒’𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚘𝚘𝚘𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚙𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚎?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗. 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚘𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗. 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚘𝚠?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚝. 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍. 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒’𝚍 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚞 𝚒𝚏 𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗’𝚝.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚔𝚢𝚜

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚗𝚊𝚑… 𝚒𝚏 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚞’𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚘𝚗 𝚞𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 𝚄𝙿

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎.

Your thighs press together under the table. Fuck.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚌𝚖𝚘𝚗, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚡𝚗𝚒𝚡

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚐

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚋𝚎𝚝 𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚓𝚘𝚋

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚘𝚍

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚞

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚞 𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚠 𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?

Your fingers flex around your phone, the heat creeping up your spine as your pulse stutters.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚖𝚑𝚖. 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎

You swallow.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚢

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚗𝚊𝚑. 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚞 𝚛𝚗. 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚕𝚢

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚒𝚏 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚞’𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝙿𝙸𝙶

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚢𝚎𝚝 𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚜 𝚜𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚎𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚑?

You freeze.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗

Jason’s voice cuts through the heat simmering in your phone.

“You’re smiling.”

Your head snaps up. “Huh?”

Jason nods toward your phone, amusement playing at the edges of his lips. “Who’s got you so entertained? Boyfriend?”

You blink. Brain short-circuits for half a second before you manage, “What? No. Not at all.”

Jimin, the absolute menace, hums. “She wishes.”

Your foot connects with his shin under the table. Hard.

“Jesus—” He winces, rubbing his leg. 

Jason chuckles, leaning back in his chair. “So you’re single, then?”

His tone is casual. Smooth. Like he’s just making conversation, not fishing. But you see it. The way his gaze lingers just a little too long, like he’s waiting to gauge your reaction.

You shrug, feigning indifference even as your pulse betrays you. “Yeah.”

Jason’s smile widens slightly. “Interesting.”

Your phone dings again.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕: 𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗?

Your jaw clenches. You exhale through your nose. Mutter a quiet, ‘motherfucker,’under your breath.

Jimin raises a brow. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing.” You shoot off a reply before you can overthink it.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘🖕

Then you lock your phone, shove it into your lap, and try to ignore the way your stomach flips.

Chapter 16: choosing yourself

Summary:

"You deserve better than a quickie in a musty bathroom stall, and Jungkook should know that, even when he sounds earnest and literally kisses your shoulder. But whatever, because it doesn't last long—he's back to being an asshole after Jason takes you both home. And then it's time you make a choice for yourself, because you can't allow to second-guess yourself like you've done multiple times in the past."

Notes:

HO-HU-HEY.

WELL. Here it is. Chapter 16. The girlies (and the girlies include me) took forever to reach the last goal, so naturally I gave in, lowered the bar, and got my cheeks clapped by the consequences because it took you all of five days. Five. Fucking. Days. I hate you all (affectionately). The bar is going BACK UP and this time I’m standing on business. Don’t test me. (You absolutely can. I’m weak.)

Anyway. Let’s talk about the chapter.

I loved writing this. Like genuinely. As much as I enjoy the pining and the tension and Jungkook being the absolute worst, this one hit different. There are so few stories that actually show characters doing normal life things—especially uterus-having characters dealing with the reality of taking control over their bodies. I wanted to write that. I needed to write that.

But more than the appointment itself, this was about Y/N. About her doing something for herself, on her terms. About taking back agency, making an uncomfortable but important decision because she knows if she walks away from it, she’ll never come back. She’ll spiral, overthink, talk herself out of it. So she does it now. Impulsively, but intentionally. And like... that’s growth, baby. That’s real.

Also?? Yoongi. My beautiful, quiet king. I didn’t know how to write him into this initially but I knew—I knew—he had to be the one who went with her. Because he’s not loud, he’s not overbearing, he doesn’t project his shit onto anyone else. He’s just present. He’s calm. He listens. He helps because he wants to, not because he needs to be thanked or seen for it. I loved deepening their bond this way, giving her a moment of safety that doesn’t come from the people we expect, but from the people who show up. He’s so important in that apartment and I feel like this chapter gave him the spotlight he deserves.

Anyway. I hope you enjoy it. I hope it makes you feel seen. I hope it makes you feel like your choices matter, and your body is yours, and it’s okay to be scared and still do the thing anyway.

Now go comment. I'm watching you. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chapter Text

The thing about standing on business is that it’s a lot harder when Jungkook texts you like that.

Not that it matters. Because you are standing on business. You’re in the bathroom, alone, which is exactly where you should be after dealing with a full thirty-five minutes of Jason’s smooth eye contact, Jimin’s shit-eating grin, and Jungkook’s insufferable, cocky-ass messages.

And before anybody even thinks it—no, you’re not here because of Jungkook.

You’re here because you’re tired. That’s it. Because this damn building is too hot, and your eyes were practically sliding closed during that last poetry discussion. Because you just needed some cold water on your face, a minute to wake yourself up, to breathe.

Not because of his texts.

Not because the way he talks to you does anything.

And definitely not because your thighs were pressed so tight together under that table that even Jason’s deep, articulate voice wasn’t enough to drown out the low thrum that Jungkook might have been right about something.

You glare at your own reflection. Point a silent, accusing finger at yourself.

“Be so fucking for real right now.”

Your reflection does not respond.

You splash more water on your face. Cold, crisp, refreshing. But also kind of not refreshing, because all it does is make you hyper-aware of how warm your skin feels. How annoyingly wired your body is.

You don’t like his dirty talk. You don’t. It’s embarrassing. It’s cringe. It’s the kind of thing that should have you rolling your eyes and shutting your phone off instead of, you know, letting him keep going. Letting him pull you into it.

It’s not arousal, okay?

It’s secondhand embarrassment.

It’s your brain cringing so hard that it doesn’t know what to do with itself, so it misfires and sends weird signals to the rest of your body.

That’s all.

Because you’re not one of those people who fuck in gross library bathrooms. You’re not desperate. You have standards. You deserve better than some icky stall, no matter how kissable someone’s lips are. 

No matter how good their dick game is. 

Or their tongue.

Or mouth. 

Or hands.

You groan. Plant your hands on the edge of the sink and lean in. Stare at yourself, deadpan, through wet lashes.

“You deserve better,” you say flatly, like the universe needs the reminder as much as you do.

The thing is, you’ve always prided yourself on your self-control. On knowing exactly what you want and how to get it without messy entanglements. Feelings complicate things. Feelings lead to expectations, and expectations lead to disappointment, and disappointment leads to that pathetic, hollow ache you've made an art of sidestepping.

And yet.

And yet, there was something about the way Jungkook looked at you in that goddamn laundry room. Something almost… soft. Curious, even. Like he wasn’t seeing you as a sparring partner or a mild inconvenience but as—what? Someone worth watching? You’d laughed at something dumb, something fleeting, and for once, his response hadn’t been smug amusement or provocation. 

It had been real. Bubbly. Almost fond.

Which is, obviously, a problem.

Or at the very least, it’s becoming one.

Because these observations are unwelcome intrusions into what should be a straightforward arrangement. You don’t want to see Jungkook as a person with layers and complexities and actual human qualities. It was much easier when he was just ‘the sexy Pulse stranger with the great arms’ who happened to be excellent in bed. An object of convenient lust and equally convenient disdain.

And now he’s Jungkook. Jungkook, your insufferable roommate. Also Rogue. Also Griffin’s human, also the guy whose vinyl collection is a shrine to John Mayer, for reasons you refuse to unpack.

With each passing day, he trespasses further into familiarity.

And the knowing drapes itself across your sternum like Griffin at dusk—silent, insistent, impossible to ignore.

You exhale. Straighten. Shake it off.

Push the door open.

That’s it.

You’re done. Over it. Whatever.

The door swings open, and you step out, chin high, pulse steady. Or—well. Steady enough.

And then there he is.

Leaning against the wall next to the men’s bathroom like he has all the time in the world. One ankle crossed over the other, hands tucked into the pockets of those stupidly well-fitted jeans. The overhead light casts shadows along his jaw, sharpening the already unfair angles of his face, but the smirk softens them—lazy, knowing.

Roguish.

You almost roll your eyes so hard they might never recover.

“So,” he drawls, tilting his head. “Finally gave in?”

You blink at him. Then, with all the dignity you can muster, you gesture back toward the bathroom door you just exited. 

“Yeah, totally. Gave in so hard I went to the women’s restroom instead of the men’s. I really let you have your way, huh?”

Jungkook chuckles, deep and quiet, like he’s indulging a particularly entertaining child. 

“Could’ve fooled me,” he muses, dark eyes sweeping over you. “Took a while in there. Thought maybe you needed a little extra… motivation.”

Your mouth opens. Closes. Heat flares up your spine because you know exactly what he’s talking about—his texts, the ones you definitely didn’t let affect you, no sir.

And Jungkook knows you know. He always does. Which is exactly why his smirk widens when you scoff, brushing past him like he’s the least interesting thing in this godforsaken building.

He follows, of course. Falls into step beside you, voice dropping just enough to make your stomach tighten. “Bet you thought about it, though.”

Your breath stutters. Just barely. And his grin? That infuriating, cocky thing? It widens.

“You’re annoying,” you inform him, as if he doesn’t already know. 

As if he isn’t enjoying the way your steps falter for half a second, the way your fingers twitch at your sides like they’re itching to grab something—his wrist, his shirt, the stupid gold chain he’s wearing right now—

“Mm.” He makes a sound of mock consideration, eyes flicking down and up, lingering at the hem of your skirt before dragging back to your face. “And yet, here we are. You in my text messages. Me in your head.”

He doesn’t need to specify what part of your head. He’s an asshole, but not an idiot.

You exhale sharply through your nose. “God, you think you’re so slick.”

“I am so slick.”

“You’re the least slick person I know.”

“So how do you explain,” he hums, leaning in just enough for his breath to graze your cheek, “the fact that you keep coming back?”

A muscle in your jaw ticks. Because—because technically, yes, but also, no, because this thing you have? It’s not about coming back. It’s about convenience. About stress relief. About what you both need, when you need it, nothing more.

So you school your face into something unimpressed, flick him a look, and say, “Your dick isn’t that good, Jungkook.”

And fuck.

He laughs.

He full-on, throaty chuckles, low and pleased and—fuck, the way it rolls through his chest, how it practically purrs out of him, like you just told him the funniest joke in the world.

His hand flexes in his pocket, like he’s restraining himself. His teeth catch his bottom lip for a second, his tongue flicking against it as his gaze devours you, and he exhales a slow, amused…

“God, the things you do to me, woman.”

And you shouldn’t feel that in your knees. You shouldn’t feel it in your stomach, in your throat, pooling low and warm and dangerous.

But you do.

And he knows it.

Which is why he takes another step closer, all effortless heat and bad decisions, and murmurs, “Say the word, Phoenix. I’ll take you right back in there. Won’t even lock the door.”

And goddamn it.

You hate him.

So you move. 

Not away from him, exactly, but toward the nearest bookshelf like you suddenly need a distraction. 

A book, a title, any excuse to look busy. 

To look unbothered.

Jungkook follows. Of course he does. He’s right there at your back, trailing you with a slow, measured step like a fucking german shepherd that already knows the outcome. He doesn’t cage you in with his arms, doesn’t press you into the shelves or block your escape.

Doesn’t need to.

Because he’s close. Just enough that when you reach for a random book, you sense him. The heat of him licks at your skin, his presence a weighted thing against your spine. 

You try to ignore it. 

The way he leans, just slightly, the way he tilts his head to let his voice skate over the shell of your ear.

“You’re so mean to me, Phoenix,” he murmurs, and it’s not fair how smooth his voice is. How it drops into something lazy and indulgent, like he’s stretching out the syllables just to see how they sound against your skin. “Act all tough, but I know you. Know what you like.”

Your fingers tighten around the spine of the book. 

Stupid. 

Reckless. 

Should’ve grabbed one with a title that could at least pretend to justify this whole act. Not Introduction to Microeconomics. 

Jungkook exhales a soft laugh, like he can see your poor choice, like he knows. 

“You’re funny,” he muses, and then—because he’s the worst—he dips his head, close enough that his nose nearly brushes the slope of your throat. “But I’m serious. Want you on my lips so bad right now.”

Your pulse slams against your ribs.

“Don’t even need to fuck you,” he goes on, like his own words are making him drunk, like he’s just thinking out loud. “Just wanna drop to my knees, put my mouth on you, make you all messy.”

You swallow. Hard.

“And you’d let me.” He whispers. “Wouldn’t you?”

Your jaw locks. Because fuck him. Because he’s right. 

Because you can already feel it, that slow, humiliating heat coiling low in your stomach, the weight of his words settling between your legs.

And Jungkook knows it. Knows your silence isn’t no. Knows the way your breath hitches, the way your fingers tighten around the stupid fucking book, the way you’re not moving away.

He shifts. Subtle, barely there, just enough for his chest to brush your shoulder. Enough to make your breath catch when his lips ghost over your pulse.

“Wouldn’t even rush it,” he continues, and he sounds wrecked by the idea, voice rough with it. “Would take my time. Make you fall apart real slow.”

You should tell him to shut up. You should shove him off, roll your eyes, something.

But you don’t. Because you hate him. And worse—you want him.

You want him.

It’s a humiliating truth, one that settles in the pit of your stomach like something molten, something that licks up your spine with every exhale he spills against your skin.

His breath hovers, a phantom thing, barely-there warmth that seeps through the fabric of your long sleeve. A cruel contrast—how your body ignites under something so light, how your nerves spark like kindling when he isn’t even touching you properly.

Not yet.

Then—his fingers. 

Slow, deliberate, reaching. Not for your wrist or your waist, not for your throat or your hip—no, that would be too easy. Too expected.

Instead, they find the fabric at your bicep. A simple touch. A barely-there tug.

And then another.

Torturous. Measured.

The sleeve slides down, inch by aching inch, and you know—you know—this is your moment. This is where you shove him off, where you huff and scoff and tell him to fuck off with his slow-burn seduction act.

Except you don’t.

You just stand there, staring at the shelf in front of you, trying not to melt out of the way the air feels against your bare skin. How exposed it is now, how Jungkook’s gaze lands heavy where the fabric used to be.

“Wanna taste you so bad right now, Nix.”

Your other hand finds the bookshelf. Not to grab a book. Not to turn the page on this whole situation.

For balance.

Because your body betrays you, trembles—just slightly, just enough that you can feel it.

And he sees it.

Feels it.

His breath dips lower. Warmer. Until his lips graze the bare curve of your shoulder.

And then he presses in.

A kiss. Featherlight. Barely there.

But devastating, because it cracks through you, sends goosebumps skittering down your arms, shivering at the nape of your neck..

“Ro—”

“I’d seriously drop to my knees right here,” he interrupts, voice quiet but wrecked. “Wouldn’t even think twice.”

Your fingers tighten against the bookshelf.

And then—

“Y/N?”

Jimin’s voice.

You move first. Swift. Normal. Like nothing just happened, like your knees weren’t about to fucking give out. Jungkook straightens, smooth, unhurried, expression lazy and unreadable.

When you turn, Jimin is there, brows furrowed, completely oblivious.

“Hey.” You clear your throat, tilt your head, something, anything to make yourself feel normal again. “What’s up?”

Jungkook stays quiet. But you can feel him. His warmth still lingers. His gaze still burns.

And it’s only when Jimin starts talking—some filler, something meaningless—that you realize your sleeve is still slipped down, fabric bunched at your elbow.

And Jungkook is still looking.

Jason appears before you fully process it, stepping into your periphery with that calm, inquisitive expression of his, eyes skimming over your face like he’s assessing something.

“You good?” His voice is gentle, curiosity laced in his tone.

You nod. “Yeah. Done for the day.”

His eyebrows quirk. Just a fraction. “Oh.”

Jimin, standing a little to the side, shifts his weight. “Do you want me to walk you to your car?”

“Oh, no,” you answer smoothly, already toeing the conversation in a different direction. “I took the bus today.”

Jason hums. “I can take you home if you want.”

And then—movement.

Jungkook. 

Shifting. Sliding in, looping an arm over your shoulders like it’s the most natural thing in the world. His body radiates heat, casual in its weight, but you feel the deliberate nature of it. The timing. The message.

“Sure,” he drawls, voice all syrupy amusement. “Taking us home, Teach?”

You barely resist the urge to elbow him in the ribs, but you do shove his arm off with a sharp shrug, angling an elbow against his side—not forceful enough to hurt, but definitely not subtle.

Jason blinks. “You two live together?”

You don’t hesitate. “Roommates.”

Jason smiles, nodding, like the answer pleases him. “Well, in that case, I’d be glad to.”

You hear Jungkook chuckle behind you.

You flip him off.

But you both start walking.

Jason's car smells like expensive cologne and ambition.

You're sitting shotgun whilst Jungkook's sprawled across the back seat of Jason's immaculate SUV, taking up more space than seems physically possible, one arm slung across the headrest as he stares out the window with half-lidded interest.

The leather beneath you is that specific type of luxury that feels both comfortable and like you shouldn't be allowed to touch it at the same time—and Jason's got one hand on the wheel, the other resting casually on the gearshift, and he's telling you about his dissertation—something about modernist literature and the fragmentation of self-identity in post-war narratives.

It sounds impressive. It probably is impressive. 

You're nodding along, asking questions in the right places, and generally pretending that you're not stupidly aware of Jungkook's reflection in the side mirror, watching.

"What about you, Jungkook?" Jason asks suddenly, eyes flicking to the rearview mirror. "Y/N mentioned you're studying film?"

Jungkook's reflection shifts, his posture straightening just slightly. 

“Yeah," he says, voice easy, unbothered. "Film and Media Studies."

"What year?"

"Dunno," he answers, and you can practically hear the shrug in his voice. "Taking classes from different years. Whatever looks interesting." 

Of course he is. God forbid he follow any sort of structured plan like a normal student.

"Planning to go into academia too, or straight to industry?" Jason continues, clearly trying to make polite conversation despite Jungkook's lackluster responses.

His response is a mere sound in the back of his throat, something between a chuckle and a scoff. Then:  "Industry. Theory's nice and all, but I'd rather be behind a camera than writing about one."

Jason nods thoughtfully. "Smart move. The academic route isn't for everyone. It takes a certain patience. Methodical thinking."

You immediately note how Jungkook's expression shifts—just for a second—into something sharper, more focused.

Then it's gone, replaced by that same lazy half-smile he always wears.

"Yeah," Jungkook drawls, leaning back. "Guess I'm just more of a hands-on learner."

The way he says "hands-on" shouldn't feel loaded. 

It doesn't, really.

Except that your mind immediately flashes to those same hands on your skin, and you have to resist the urge to shift in your seat.

Jason seems oblivious, continuing. "What kind of films are you into?"

"The good ones," Jungkook replies, and you can hear the smirk without even looking.

"That's... vague."

"I'm a visual guy. I like things I can see."

Jason laughs, a polite sound. "Fair enough. Any directors you admire?"

"Too many to list," Jungkook answers, and there's something in his voice now—a subtle tightness, like he's getting bored with the interrogation. "But hey, I'll give you one. Wong Kar-wai. His use of color and the way he frames longing? Unmatched."

You blink, a little surprised. Not by the answer itself—you know Jungkook's capable of actual intellectual thought, even if he pretends otherwise half the time—but by the genuine passion that briefly flares in his voice.

Jason nods, seeming genuinely impressed. "Interesting choice. 'In the Mood for Love' is a masterpiece."

"Yeah, it is." There's a beat, and then Jungkook adds, "What about you? You a film guy?"

"I appreciate it as an art form, but literature's my passion." Jason's hand moves from the gearshift to the steering wheel as he navigates a turn. "Though I teach a module on film adaptations of classic literature occasionally."

"Cool," Jungkook says, in a tone that suggests it's anything but. Then, abruptly changing the subject: "How'd you end up TA-ing for Y/N's class?"

You shoot Jungkook a look through the mirror. 

What is he doing?

"I'm not actually Y/N's TA," Jason clarifies smoothly. "I just run study groups for students across different modules. Help where I can."

"Just out of the goodness of your heart, huh?" 

“Something like that. Plus, it looks good on the CV."

You jump in, trying to steer the conversation back to safer waters. "Jason's been really helpful. I was drowning in all that Sylvia Plath symbolism before today."

"I'm sure he has," Jungkook murmurs, and when you catch his reflection again, his eyes are narrowed slightly, focused on the back of Jason's head.

Then the rest of the ride passes in a…strange, stilted rhythm—Jason asking questions, Jungkook giving just enough of an answer to seem polite before flipping the question back around. 

You filling the gaps with comments and questions of your own, trying to figure out why the air suddenly feels too… saturated?

By the time Jason pulls up to your apartment building, you're exhausted from the mental gymnastics of trying to parse what the fuck is happening.

"Here we are," Jason announces unnecessarily, putting the car in park. "Nice place."

Jungkook's door opens before the words are fully out of Jason's mouth. 

“Thanks for the ride, man," he says, climbing out with easy grace. But instead of heading straight for the building entrance, he pauses, one arm resting on the car roof, waiting.

For you.

Jason turns to you, one hand still on the wheel, the other now resting on the center console. "Listen, Y/N, I was wondering if you'd like to grab coffee sometime?”

He smiles, and you like the way the corner of his lip tugs upward genuinely, a dimple forming on it.

It’s cute.

It’s attractive.

Then he smiles. Gaze briefly flicks to Jungkook, then back to you, whispery. Adds: “Just the two of us, I mean."

Your stomach does a pleasant little flip because—wow. An attractive, intelligent guy who can discuss poetry without making dick jokes? Asking you for coffee? Like a date?

Is this real life?

"I'd like that," you say, smiling.

"How's Saturday? There's a café near campus that does incredible pour-overs."

Shit. Saturday. Jungkook's stupid surprise birthday dinner.

"I actually can't Saturday," you say, genuinely disappointed. "I have this... thing I can't get out of." No way are you telling him it's for Jungkook's birthday. "But maybe Sunday?"

"Sunday works." His hand moves then, fingers wrapping lightly around your wrist. "It's a date, then."

His touch is warm, brief, and makes your chest flutter. 

You nod, gathering your bag. "Thanks again for the ride. And the study help."

"Anytime."

Stepping out of the car, you see Jungkook still standing there, watching. His posture is relaxed, his expression unreadable as he pushes off from where he's been leaning against the car.

You walk over, and together, you head toward the building entrance. Jason's car idles behind you for a moment before pulling away, and only when the sound of his engine fades does Jungkook speak.

"I don't like him."

It's so abrupt, so matter-of-fact, that you almost laugh. 

"Okay? Did I ask?"

Jungkook doesn't respond right away. His lips press together, jaw tightening for a split second as you reach the elevator. He hits the up button with more force than necessary.

"He gives off vibes," he finally says, as the elevator doors slide open.

You step inside, hitting the button for your floor. 

“Vibes," you repeat flatly. "What are you, suddenly psychic or some shit?"

"Don't need to be psychic to see he's fucking weird."

The elevator begins its ascent, and you lean against the wall, eyeing him. 

“English major and almost a professor. Makes sense why you don't fuck with him, don't you think?"

Jungkook's head snaps toward you. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Just saying," you shrug, "you're clearly threatened by anyone with a vocabulary that extends beyond 'fuck' and 'vibes.'"

"Oh fuck off," he scoffs. "He's not that impressive."

"More impressive than you pretending to hate classic films to sound edgy."

His eyes narrow. "I never said I hated—"

"Whatever, Rogue. Keep your weird opinions to yourself. I'm going on a coffee date with him Sunday."

"Great," he says flatly. "Have fun with Professor Stick-Up-His-Ass."

The elevator dings. You push past him, digging in your bag for your keys.

"What is your problem?" you demand as you walk down the hallway. "He was perfectly nice. He gave us a ride home. He actually listens when people talk."

"I'm just saying I don't fuck with him."

"And what's that to me? Why do you think I care who you fuck with?"

"Nothing," Jungkook says, fumbling for his keys—so you stop rummaging through your bag. "I'm just stating my opinion. I'm allowed to not like people."

"Yeah, but you're telling me like I should care?" You follow him through the door. "Like your opinion matters to me somehow?"

"No?" He turns to face you. "I'm just fucking saying. That's it."

"Well, don't."

"Don't what? Talk?"

"Don't act like your shitty opinions on my social life matter."

The apartment feels too small suddenly. Like the walls are closing in. 

Why is it so hot in here? Did Yoongi crank the heat again? God, you're going to have another fight about the thermostat after this.

"Look," He sighs exasperatedly, and the sound makes you want to kick him on the shin. "I get it. He's all polished and proper and talks about dead poets with you. Fucking fantastic. I'm just telling you he seems like a fake-ass bitch."

"A fake-ass—what are you even talking about?" Your voice rises because what the actual fuck? "You're literally making shit up. He seems perfectly normal."

"Normal? Did you miss the way he kept cutting me off? Or that weird laugh thing he does?"

"Oh my god." You throw your bag onto the counter. "You're so full of shit. He was trying to keep the conversation going while you gave one-word answers like a sullen teenager."

"Yeah, because he kept asking me the same basic-ass questions like I'm in a job interview or some shit."

"It's called making conversation, dickhead. Something you clearly know nothing about."

Jungkook tosses his keys onto the counter with a clatter. "There's making conversation, and then there's whatever the fuck he was doing. Dude's weird. Period."

"He's weird? That's your whole argument? That's the hill you're choosing to die on?"

"You didn't catch it?" Jungkook looks at you like you're the dense one. "That whole thing about teaching 'occasionally?' The way he kept touching the gearshift? And the fucking wrist grab at the end? So fucking unnecessary.”

"Oh my god." You're actually laughing now, incredulous. "You sound completely unhinged. He barely touched me!"

"It's not about—" Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "It's the pattern, Nix. The whole vibe is off."

"The pattern? The vibe?" You mimic his voice. "Are you listening to yourself? You sound like a conspiracy theorist."

"Fine," he throws his hands up. "You're so fucking right, as always. Go hang out with Captain Control Freak. See if I give a shit."

"Captain Control—what are you even talking about?"

"Nothing. Forget it. Go on your little coffee date with Professor Perfect."

"Why are you being such a dick about this?" Your voice rises, frustration boiling over. "It's just coffee!"

"And I'm just saying he seems like an asshole!" Jungkook's voice matches yours now. "But sure, ignore me. What the fuck do I know, right?"

"Right! What the fuck DO you know? You met him for twenty minutes and suddenly you're an expert?"

"I know enough to spot a fucking red flag when I see one."

"A red flag? Are you kidding me?" You make an incredulous sound. "Because he has a nice car and uses big words? Those aren't red flags, those are called being an adult!"

"No, because he's putting on a whole act!" Jungkook's gesturing wildly now. "The scholarly bullshit, the fake interest, the—"

"Maybe he's actually interested in literature? Have you considered that possibility, genius?"

"Oh, I'm sure he's very interested in 'literature,'" Jungkook makes air quotes. "Along with controlling every fucking conversation and situation."

"You're being ridiculous." You give him a blank stare, accompanied by a chuckle. "Completely ridiculous."

"And you're being naive!" 

"No, I'm being NORMAL!" The word echoes off the kitchen walls. "You're the one having some weird meltdown over nothing!"

"It's not nothing! The dude's giving off major control freak energy and you're too busy swooning over his vocabulary to notice!"

"I am not swooning over anything!" 

"Whatever. You clearly can't see what's right in front of you."

"And you clearly can't handle not being the center of attention for five fucking minutes!"

Jungkook's eyebrows shoot up. "The center of—what? That's what you think this is about?"

"I don't know what it's about! That's my whole point!" You're making no sense!"

"I'm making perfect sense! You're just not listening!"

"Because you're not saying anything worth listening to!"

“Fine! Go ahead. Do whatever the fuck you want. It's your life."

"Yeah, it is my life. And you know what? I WILL do whatever the fuck I want."

"Great! Awesome! Have fun!"

"I will!"

"Good!"

"GOOD!"

You glare at each other, both breathing hard—and Griffin chooses that moment to saunter in, meowing loudly as if to say ‘what the fuck is all this noise about?’

"Your cat wants food," you snap, needing the last word.

"He's not just my cat, he lives here too," Jungkook fires back, because apparently he also needs the last word.

"Then maybe you should focus on feeding him instead of my social life."

"Maybe you should focus on not getting involved with pretentious assholes!"

"I live with one, so I think I can handle it!"

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you too."

You turn away, stomping toward your room. "You're such a jerk."

"And you're a stubborn bitch."

You flip him off without looking back, slamming your door with enough force to rattle the walls. You hear him mutter something through the thin wood—probably another insult—before the sound of cabinets opening and closing tells you he's probably feeding Griffin.

Dropping onto your bed, you stare at the ceiling, trying to make sense of what just happened. 

What the hell was that about? Since when does Jungkook care who you hang out with? And what the fuck was all that ‘vibes’ and ‘energy’ bullshit?

It shouldn't matter. 

It doesn't matter.

Except now there's this annoying doubt in the back of your head. 

Not because Jungkook's right—he's definitely not—but because he seemed so sure. So genuinely worked up about it. 

Not jealous, just... concerned? 

Angry? 

Something.

God, you need to get a grip. This is exactly what happens when you live with people too long. Their crazy starts to sound almost reasonable.

Jason is fine. He's normal. 

Jungkook is the one being insufferable and childish because he can’t stand not being the center of attention for five minutes.

So honestly? 

Fuck him.

You deserve to go on a date with someone who actually listens to what you have to say.

So you will.

And if he wants to whine about it, well. That’s his problem. Not yours. 

Staring at the confirmation email on your phone should not be making your stomach turn like this.

It's just an appointment. A totally normal, adult thing to do that people handle every day without breaking a sweat. Just another checkbox on the grand list of things labeled ‘Taking Care of Your Body’ that you've been putting off for... well, forever.

But there it is: Appointment with Dr. Camila Rivera, Wednesday, 4:45 PM.

You'd done it yesterday night, after the fight with Jungkook, after slamming your bedroom door hard enough to rattle the walls. 

You'd sat on your bed, fuming, and somehow that anger had propelled you toward something productive for once. A quick Google search for ‘gynecologist near me,’ a few clicks, and suddenly you had an appointment.

Easy-peasy. Totally casual.

Except it wasn't. Not really.

Because the truth is, you've never been to a gynecologist before. Not once in your life.

And it's not like you're some kind of prude. You're not. Just ask Jungkook. Or, you know, don't—his ego is inflated enough as it is. But the point stands: you're sexually active. You know your way around a condom. You're not completely clueless.

You're just... inexperienced in certain areas. 

Official areas. 

Medical areas.

Because going to a gynecologist meant telling your parents you needed to go to a gynecologist. Which meant admitting you were having sex. Which meant watching your mother's face crumple into that specific blend of disappointment and judgment she'd perfected over the years. The one that said, ‘I raised you better than this’ without her having to speak a word.

It was easier to just... not go. Stick with condoms. Cross your fingers. Hope for the best.

But things are different now. You're living on your own. Making your own decisions. Sleeping with your insufferable roommate whenever the mood strikes. Planning coffee dates with hot TAs who might—if things go well—become another notch on your metaphorical bedpost.

The thought sends a little thrill through you. 

Jason. With his deep voice and thoughtful gaze and ability to analyze poetry without sounding like a pretentious asshole. Would he be different in bed than Jungkook? Less demanding, maybe. More measured. Or maybe he'd surprise you.

God, when did your brain become so fixated on sex? 

That's what freedom feels like, you tell yourself, stretching your legs out across your bed. It's natural. Healthy, even. You've spent years living under your parents' suffocating expectations—their carefully crafted vision of who you should be, the life you should lead, the choices you should make. Always excelling, always proper, always in control.

Well, fuck that. You're done being controlled.

Hence, the appointment

Because if you're going to be sexually liberated (the phrase makes you cringe a little, even though it's just in your head), you should probably be responsible about it. Birth control pills, or maybe an IUD—something more reliable than condoms alone. 

Something that puts you in control of your body, for once.

That's what this is really about, isn't it? Control. Wresting it back from the people who've held it for too long. 

Your parents. Their expectations. Their constant, stifling presence even when they're miles away.

You glance at the time on your phone: 3:32 PM. About an hour before you need to leave.

And suddenly, your chest feels tight. Because while making the appointment had been an act of defiance, of independence—actually going feels different. More real. More intimidating.

You've done your research. Read all the ‘What to expect at your first gynecology appointment’ articles online. You know it will involve questions about your sexual history (complicated), your family medical history (boring), and a physical exam (terrifying).

The problem is, you'd planned to ask Yeji to go with you. She'd been to gynecologists before. She'd know what to expect, how to act, what was normal. But she texted this morning to say she'd caught some stomach bug and could barely make it to the bathroom, let alone across town to a doctor's office.

Which leaves you... alone

And you shouldn't need someone to hold your hand through this. You're an adult, for fuck's sake. People do this all the time.

But the anxiety bubbling in your stomach doesn't care about logic. It's there, persistent and nagging, making you wonder if you should just cancel and reschedule for when Yeji's feeling better.

No. That's the old you talking. The you that let other people's expectations dictate your life. You need to do this, and you need to do it today.

But maybe you don't have to do it alone.

Jimin is in class right now. Emma's too far away. 

And you and Jungkook are still not talking.

You glance at your bedroom wall, the one that separates your room from Yoongi's. He's home today—you heard him shuffling around earlier, the familiar sound of his bedroom door closing, his music faintly filtering through the walls.

Yoongi's different from Jungkook. Quieter. More observant. He doesn't waste words or gestures. He doesn't fill silences just to hear himself talk.

Would it be weird to ask him? Probably. But also... maybe not. 

Yoongi has this way of making the strangest things seem normal, simply by refusing to treat them as strange.

Before you can overthink it any further, you're on your feet, moving toward your bedroom door, then to Yoongi's. Your knuckles rap against the wood before your brain can catch up with your body and tell you what a ridiculous idea this is.

There's a pause. Then shuffling. Then Yoongi's voice, slightly muffled: "Yeah?"

You open the door tentatively. Yoongi's seated at his desk, headphones on, one ear now pulled back as he swivels in his chair to face you. His expression is neutral—not annoyed, exactly, but definitely interrupted. Behind him, his computer screen glows with what looks like a complex audio editing program, tracks upon tracks stacked neatly in multicolored rows.

"Hey, sorry to bother you," you start, hovering in the doorway. "I, uh, I was wondering..."

Yoongi blinks at you, his gaze tracking over your face for barely two seconds before his eyes narrow slightly.

"What's wrong?" he asks, and just like that, you hesitate.

Is it that obvious? Do you have ‘first-time gynecologist panic’ stamped on your forehead in neon letters? God, this is embarrassing.

"Nothing's wrong," you say, too quickly. "I just—" You take a breath. "I have a doctor's appointment, and I was supposed to go with Yeji, but she's sick, and—"

"What kind of doctor?" Yoongi's already slipping his headphones off, setting them on his desk.

"Gynecologist," you admit, the word feeling foreign on your tongue. 

You brace for awkwardness, for judgment, for that subtle shift in his expression that says this conversation just got weird.

It doesn't come.

"When's the appointment?" he asks instead, like you just told him you're seeing a dentist.

"Four forty-five."

Yoongi glances at his computer screen, then back at you. A slight furrow appears between his brows—not judgmental, more like he's calculating something.

"Is it your first time?"

Your mouth opens, then closes. 

Is there a neon sign above your head that says ‘VIRGIN TO WOMEN'S HEALTHCARE’ blinking in hot pink? How does everyone just know these things about you?

"Yeah," you admit, heat creeping up your neck. "First time."

Yoongi nods like this confirms a theory. "I can take you."

You blink at him, confused by the easy offer. "You don't have to—"

"I've done it before," he says with a small shrug. "My sisters. Lost count of how many times I've sat in waiting rooms while they got checked out."

"Your sisters?" This is new information. Yoongi has barely mentioned his family in the few weeks you've lived together.

"Two of them," he says, shrugging. “Older and younger. They'd kill me if they knew I was calling them a pain in my ass, but..." A ghost of a smile touches his lips. "Pain in my ass."

"I didn't know you had sisters," you say, still hovering in the doorway, surprised by this glimpse into his life.

"East Village, you said?" He inquires, stretching his arms over his head. "On 14th?"

"Yeah, but—seriously, you don't have to. I can go alone. It's fine."

Yoongi looks at you, really looks at you, his gaze direct but not unkind. "But you don't want to. That's why you're here. Give me ten minutes to finish this section, and we'll go."

The simplicity of it knocks the air from your lungs. 

No questions about why you need to go, why you can't go alone. 

Just acceptance. 

Just help.

"Thanks," you manage, your voice smaller than intended.

Yoongi makes a sound—something between a grunt and a hum—that you interpret as 'you're welcome' before focusing back on his work. You linger for a moment, uncertain, before backing out of the room and gently closing the door.

Fifteen minutes later, you're sitting next to Yoongi in an Uber, your knee bouncing nervously as you watch the city blur past the window. 

You've barely spoken since leaving the apartment, the silence between you not uncomfortable but definitely... present.

"Have you been to this doctor before?" Yoongi asks suddenly, his voice quiet in the confines of the car.

You shake your head. "First time."

"First time ever?"

There's no judgment in his tone, just curiosity, but you still feel a flush creep up your neck. "Yeah. My parents were... strict."

Yoongi nods like this makes perfect sense. "Mine too. Different things, though."

"Like what?"

He shrugs, his shoulder lifting in a smooth, controlled motion. "Music. They wanted the classical route—Juilliard, orchestra, all that. Not producing. Definitely not hip hop."

"But you did it anyway."

A small smile quirks the corner of his mouth. "Eventually. Took a while."

There's more to it, you can tell. You recognize it because it mirrors your own experiences—the rebellion, the constant calculation of how much you can take without being taken from.

"Are your sisters musicians too?" you ask, curious about these siblings he's mentioned.

His eyebrows lift slightly, like he's surprised you're interested enough to ask. "Mina and Soonhee? Nah, they got different rules. Mina's older—she got to do dance, no questions asked. Soonhee's the baby—she's in med school now, but she did competitive cheerleading through high school. I was the only one who got the 'practical career' lectures."

"That's fucked up."

He huffs a laugh, soft and low. "Yeah. Parents, man."

"So how'd you end up being the gynecologist escort service?"

This time, the laugh is fuller, unexpected enough that the driver glances in the rearview mirror. "Soonhee. She was seventeen, terrified of going alone, and didn't want our mom knowing yet. So I took her." He shrugs again. "After that, it was just... normal. Picked her up from appointments sometimes when our parents were working. Drove Mina a few times too."

Something about this image—Yoongi, quiet and steady, sitting in a waiting room while his sisters get their reproductive health sorted—makes your chest warm.

"That's... really nice of you."

"It's not a big deal." He says it so simply, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "That's what family does."

The car slows as you approach your destination, and suddenly the nerves are back, coiling tight in your stomach. 

This is happening. You're really doing this.

Yoongi must sense the shift because he looks at you, his gaze direct but gentle. "They'll ask a lot of questions. Some feel invasive, but they're just doing their job. If you don't know an answer, that's okay. If something feels wrong or hurts too much, speak up. Don't just endure it."

"Okay," you whisper, and for a moment, the two of you just look at each other—you, the girl who's spent her life trying to be perfect, and him, the boy who's learned to create his own definition of it.

The car stops. The driver announces your arrival. Yoongi nods once, decisive.

"Let's go."

The waiting room is exactly what you expected: too-bright lighting, uncomfortable chairs, ancient magazines, and the faint smell of disinfectant.

What you didn't expect is how much calmer you feel with Yoongi beside you, his presence steady as you fill out paperwork on a clipboard.

"Family medical history," you mutter, scanning the form. "Like I'm supposed to know if my great-aunt had ovarian cancer."

"Just write what you know," Yoongi says, not looking up from his phone where he's responding to what looks like a work email. "They mostly want the big stuff."

You nod, focusing back on the form.

Name, date of birth, insurance information (thank god your parents still have you on their plan, even if they'd probably have a collective aneurysm if they knew what you were using it for), medications (none), allergies (none), sexual history...

Your pen hovers over the ‘number of sexual partners’ field.

Two, technically. 

One in high school—David, your boyfriend for all of three months, who'd been sweet but forgettable—and now Jungkook, who is... neither of those things.

Not that anyone needs to know about that particular arrangement. 

Especially not Yoongi, who lives with both of you and would make things weird if he knew. 

It's bad enough that he might hear things through the walls sometimes—though you've been careful, for the most part. Extra careful.

Because what you and Rogue have isn't something that needs to be analyzed or discussed or turned into some big thing. It's just sex. Convenient, mind-blowing, occasionally wall-banging sex. No strings, no expectations, no complications.

And honestly, there's something almost thrilling about the secrecy of it all. The way you can brush past Jungkook in the kitchen while Yoongi's there, both of you acting like you didn't have your legs wrapped around his waist twelve hours earlier. 

The control of it. 

The power in knowing something no one else does.

Soon to be three partners, maybe, if things go well with Jason. 

The thought sends an unexpected twinge through you. Not guilt, exactly, but something adjacent to it.

"You know," Yoongi says suddenly, his voice low, "I never asked why you wanted to come here today."

You glance up, surprised. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Sure. But there are lots of reasons people go to gynecologists." His eyes remain on his phone, giving you the space to answer without the weight of his gaze. "Regular check-ups. STI testing. Birth control. Problems."

"All of the above?" you say, aiming for a joke but landing somewhere closer to honesty. "Mostly birth control, though. I've been... thinking about it for a while."

And it’s true, because condoms, while effective, aren't foolproof. 

Not that you're telling Yoongi that you're sleeping with anyone, let alone Jungkook, let alone possibly Jason soon.

Some things are better kept private. Safer that way. No one's business but your own.

Yoongi nods. "Smart."

That's it. No lecture about being careful, no brotherly concern about who you might be sleeping with, no judgment about your choices. Just: smart.

"Thanks," you say, and you mean it for more than just the compliment.

"Soonhee has an IUD," he offers casually. "Says it's been good for her. Less to remember."

You blink, caught off guard by how easily he's discussing this. "I was thinking about that. Or maybe the pill."

"Makes sense." He mumbles, typing into his phone now. "Mina did the implant thing—the arm one? She had mood swings at first, but they evened out."

You're about to ask another question when a mi nurse calls your name. 

Suddenly, your heart is in your throat again, the clipboard clutched in your sweaty hand.

"You'll be fine," Yoongi says, taking the clipboard from you with gentle fingers. "I'll be right here."

You stand, smoothing down your shirt with shaky hands. "This is weird, right? You barely know me."

Yoongi looks up at you, calm but thoughtful. "Not that weird. We live together. That counts for something."

Something about his words steadies you. 

You've lived with your parents for most of your life—but this is the first time it's felt like more than just sharing space. 

Like there's something about proximity that builds its own kind of trust, its own kind of care.

"Thanks, Yoongi," you say again, meaning it more with each repetition.

He nods once, then returns to his phone, the conversation complete.

As you follow the nurse down the hallway, you realize something surprising: you're glad it's Yoongi out there waiting. Not Yeji, not Jimin, not anyone else.

Just Yoongi—quiet, steady, unfazed by the messiness of being human.

And for the first time since moving in, you think maybe, just maybe, this apartment isn't just a place you live.

Maybe, in some small way, it's becoming home.

Your entire life, you’ve been told what to do with your body.

Stand up straight. Smile more. Don’t eat that. Wear this. Be modest. Be pretty. Be better. Smaller. Quieter. More.

It’s a strange feeling, sitting on the edge of an exam table in a paper gown that crinkles with every breath, realizing that for perhaps the first time, you’re making a decision entirely for yourself. 

About yourself. 

By yourself.

Dr. Rivera is nothing like you imagined. You’d pictured someone older, stern, clinical. Someone who would make you feel childish and naive. 

Instead, she’s maybe mid-thirties, with a warm smile and dark curls pulled back in a bun. She sits on a rolling stool, reviewing your forms, asking questions in a voice that somehow manages to feel both professional and conspiratorial—like you’re both in on something important together.

“So this is your first time seeing a gynecologist?” she asks, looking up from her tablet.

You nod, resisting the urge to cross your arms over your chest, to make yourself smaller under her gaze. “Yeah.”

“Any particular reason you decided to come in now?”

Do you tell her that you’ve been having casual sex with your roommate? That you’re hoping to add a handsome TA to the rotation? That after years of letting other people—parents, professors, partners—dictate what you should do, you’re finally deciding for yourself?

“I want to start birth control,” you say instead, aiming for casual confidence but hearing the slight waver in your voice. “Something reliable.”

She nods, no judgment in her expression. “Have you been thinking about any particular method?”

“I’ve been researching a few. The pill, IUDs…”

“IUDs are excellent long-term options,” she says, setting her tablet aside. “Both hormonal and non-hormonal varieties have their advantages. The hormonal ones can help with period symptoms—lighter bleeding, less cramping. The copper one doesn’t have hormones, so there are no hormonal side effects, but periods can be heavier, especially at first.”

You’ve read all of this online, but somehow hearing it from an actual doctor makes it feel more real. 

More possible.

“How long have you been sexually active?” 

“A few years,” you say, the vagueness intentional. “Not consistently.”

“Using condoms?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Remember that birth control protects against pregnancy, but condoms protect against STIs. It’s always good to use both unless you’re in a mutually monogamous relationship and have both been tested.”

You nod, like a good student receiving familiar information. But inside, something tightens. Because you haven’t been tested. Not really. Just the standard blood work at check-ups. 

Another thing to add to the list of adult responsibilities you’re finally catching up on.

“I’d like to do a pelvic exam and Pap smear today, if that’s okay with you,” Dr. Rivera continues. “It’s recommended for women your age, and it will help us make sure everything looks healthy before we proceed with birth control.”

The exam succeeds.

And in itself it is… well, not pleasant, exactly, but not as terrible as you’d feared. 

Dr. Rivera talks you through each step—the speculum (cold, but not painful), the swabs (quick, a little uncomfortable), the manual exam (weird pressure, but over quickly). 

It’s not dignified, but it’s not humiliating either. Just necessary. Clinical. Part of being a woman with a body that needs maintenance and care.

Afterward, as you sit back up, adjusting the paper gown around your knees, she asks, “So, were you thinking you’d like to start birth control today, or did you want some time to think about options?”

“Today,” you say, the word coming out more confident than you feel. Then, because honesty seems important here: “I’m afraid if I wait, I’ll talk myself out of it.”

Dr. Rivera’s smile is understanding. “That happens more often than you’d think. If you’re interested in an IUD, I could insert one today. We have both hormonal and copper options in stock.”

Your heart jumps a little. You hadn’t expected to actually do this today. You’d thought there would be more steps, more time, more chances to second-guess yourself.

“The copper one,” you say, a decision forming as the words leave your mouth. “I’ve been reading about it. I like that there are no hormones, and that it works right away.”

“The ParaGard,” she nods. “It’s effective for up to twelve years, though you can have it removed anytime. The insertion can be uncomfortable—some women experience cramping during and after the procedure. Are you on your period now?”

You shake your head.

“That’s fine. Some doctors prefer to insert during menstruation because the cervix is naturally a bit more open, but it’s not necessary. We can do it today if you’re sure.”

Are you?

Are you sure you want to make this decision, right now, without more time to think? 

Are you sure you’re ready for this level of control, this level of commitment to your own autonomy?

The voice in your head that prompts those questions sounds suspiciously like your mother’s—whispers that maybe you should wait. Think more. Ask someone else’s opinion. Perhaps this is too rushed, too impulsive.

But then another voice rises—your own voice, tired of being drowned out—saying that you’ve thought enough. 

That waiting is just another form of letting fear make your decisions for you.

That you know what you want. 

“I’m sure,” you say, and the words feel like a declaration of independence.

Dr. Rivera walks you through the procedure, what to expect, potential side effects, when to call if something feels wrong. She’s thorough without being patronizing, clear without being alarming. By the time she leaves to gather the necessary materials, your nervousness has dissipated, and all you’re left feeling is an odd sort of calm.

This is happening. You’re choosing this. For yourself. By yourself.

And then, the actual insertion.

Which, just like the exam, isn’t pleasant. 

There’s pain—sharp, sudden, deep—as the IUD passes through your cervix. A cramping that radiates outward, making you gasp and grip the edges of the exam table. But it’s over faster than you expected, though the cramping lingers.

“You did great,” Dr. Rivera says, stripping off her gloves. “The cramping should ease up in a day or two. Ibuprofen will help. And remember what we discussed about checking the strings, about when to call if something doesn’t feel right.”

You nod, absorbing the information through the haze of discomfort and, oddly enough, a strange sense of triumph. 

Because you did it. You came here, you made a choice, and you followed through. No one told you to. No one had to approve. Just you, deciding what happens to your body.

It’s a small thing, maybe. Basic healthcare that thousands of women access every day. But to you, in this moment, it feels monumental.

“Thank you,” you say, meaning it deeply.

Dr. Rivera smiles, like she understands exactly what you’re thanking her for. 

“Take your time getting dressed. The nurse will bring you some information to take home, and I’ll see you for a follow-up in a few weeks to make sure everything’s settling in well.”

When she leaves, you sit there for a moment longer, one hand resting lightly on your lower abdomen. 

There’s something in there now, something you chose, something working for you without you having to think about it. 

Protection. Freedom. Agency.

It hurts, yes. 

But it’s a hurt with purpose. 

A discomfort you’re enduring for yourself, not for anyone else.

As you dress slowly, careful of the cramping that makes you wince, you think about all the times you’ve twisted yourself into shapes that pleased others. All the choices you’ve surrendered in the name of being good, being agreeable, being what everyone else wanted.

Not this time.

This time, you chose you.

Yoongi doesn’t ask questions when you emerge, moving slightly slower than before, your face a little paler. He just stands, tucks his phone into his pocket, and falls into step beside you as you make your way out of the clinic.

“Need anything?” he asks simply as you wait for the Uber outside.

You consider for a moment. “Ice cream, maybe.”

He nods, like this is the most reasonable request in the world. “There’s a good place three blocks from here. If you’re up for the walk.”

The cramping is uncomfortable but manageable—and your need for something sweet and creamy is too compelling to deny it.

“Yeah,” you say, adjusting your course to fall in beside him. “I’m up for it.”

You can’t help but think how strange really life is.

How you’re walking through the East Village with Yoongi, a copper IUD safely nestled in your uterus, making decisions that have nothing to do with what anyone else thinks you should do.

It feels like freedom. 

It feels like growing up. 

It feels, for the first time in a long while, like your life is actually yours.

Maybe that’s worth a little discomfort.

Chapter 17: reconnecting

Summary:

"Fridays are not always the best day of the week, you can vouch for this one at least. It's Emma's birthday party and you're not sure you two still vibe together or not after all this time. And coming home... you don't expect Jungkook to be awake, especially not with your cold war going on. But he is."

Notes:

WASSSSSUPPPP my peoplessss!!

Okay so here’s Chapter 17—aka the chapter where all of you start collectively projecting your unresolved issues with your high school best friend, your fuckboy roommate, and your local pastel/goth lesbian duo. I say that with love.

Now LISTEN. I keep raising the bar for this story like but honestly?? That’s on YOU. You absolute feral gremlins with your “when’s the next update” comments like I’m a vending machine that dispenses emotional damage. (It’s fine. I thrive under fear and pressure. You’re welcome.)

About this chapter!! So my initial plan was for Nix to buy Jungkook an actual vinyl player… until I did the research and realized those bitches go for 150-300 bucks even secondhand. Be fr. They are NOT in a relationship. This man is her hot emotional disaster roommate who’s been beefing with her for three days and literally slammed a door at her. I would not spend a single euro on that man beyond what is legally required. Fifteen dollars for a John Mayer record? That’s the sweet spot. It says “I hate you but I know what music you like and I think about you when you’re not around and that makes me want to bite drywall.”

Also: if you know that Inside Wants Out is an early acoustic EP that’s kinda slept on but has a few gut-wrenching tracks about vulnerability and romantic ambivalence… well. Have fun.

Now shut up because I love writing female friendships and this chapter is my offering to the goddesses of sapphic chaos. Yeji and Irya being absolute queens??? We love. But also EMMA. Emma and that awkward tension of do we still fit? Did we ever really know each other or was it just proximity and hormones and being stuck in the same suburban hellscape? That shit is SO REAL. Reuniting with old friends is like a spiritual liminal space and I needed to capture that gnawing weirdness.

AND JIMIN. The eyeliner scene??? I almost CRIED writing it. I had to pause. That man is so soft it makes me want to shove him into a pillow fort and protect him from the world. He’s so good. He sees her, without wanting anything in return. You better analyze it or I’ll strangle every single one of you.

Now. Regarding the very tense bathroom cologne scene. I was actually going to drag the cold war out longer, truly. I had plans. But Jungkook opened his slutty little mouth and said, “No, actually, I’m feral and I’ve been suffering in silence and she smells like sex and nostalgia and I must act.” And what was I supposed to do? Argue? Please. I have 0 narrative agency here. That much is clear.

Also his birthday is coming. So like. I didn’t want to enter that subplot with them still fake-ignoring each other like divorced parents. You’re welcome.

ANYWAY. The next few chapters are slower paced but VERY important. It’s all those little moments where the characters start changing without realizing it. The kind of growth you only see in hindsight. The slow part of the slow burn. But I swear to god I’m obsessed with how it’s turning out and I just want to share it with you and roll around in the angst like a dog in grass.

Okay that’s all. I love you. Go scream in the comments or eat drywall. Or both! <3 Mwah.

Chapter Text

Fridays aren't supposed to sneak up on you like a debt collector with something to prove.

Usually, you spend the whole week crawling toward Friday like it's an oasis in the desert of your existence. Monday is hell. Tuesday is hell's waiting room. Wednesday offers a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, the week won't actually kill you. Thursday is its own special brand of torture—so close to freedom you can taste it, but still trapped in the purgatory of obligation.

And then: Friday. 

Glorious, beautiful Friday.

Except this one. This one materialized out of nowhere, ambushing you with its presence and the sudden, horrifying realization that you have exactly zero hours to prepare for what's coming.

So here you are, somehow already standing in a flea market that smells like mothballs and questionable life choices, watching Yeji hold up a fishnet... something against her body while Irya coos over crystals that probably came from the dollar store.

"What do you think?" Yeji asks, draping the fishnet monstrosity over her shoulders. "Is it giving 'fashion-forward' or 'I found this in a dumpster'?"

"Definitely dumpster," you mutter, eyes scanning the crowded stalls without really seeing them. 

Because your mind? Your mind is elsewhere—specifically on the fact that you still need to find a birthday gift for your insufferable roommate.

Jungkook

Just thinking his name makes your jaw clench. 

It's been three days since your argument, and the apartment has been a cold war zone of pointed silences and aggressive door closing. 

He wants to be petty? Fine. You can be petty right back. Twice as petty, even. So you’re not talking to him either.

"Hello?” Yeji waves a hand in front of your face. "You've been staring at that old guy selling taxidermy squirrels for like, two minutes straight. Should I be concerned?"

You blink, refocusing. "What? No. I'm just... looking."

"For what exactly?" Irya appears at your side, a small purple crystal clutched in her palm. "You said you already got Emma's birthday present."

"Just browsing," you lie smoothly. "Flea markets are full of... treasures."

Yeji snorts. "Since when do you care about 'treasures'? Last time I dragged you to a vintage store, you said it smelled like 'dead people's closets.'"

“No I didn’t.”

"Right." Yeji doesn't look convinced, but she's already distracted by a display of chunky silver rings. "I'm gonna check these out. Meet you at the food trucks in twenty?"

You nod, grateful for the chance to browse alone. Not that you have any fucking clue what to get Jungkook. What do you buy for someone whose entire personality seems to be "brooding film student with inexplicably good taste in coffee"?

It is like an abandoned warehouse, this flea market—stalls crammed together in haphazard rows, hipsters and bargain hunters elbowing past each other, haggling over everything from antique doorknobs to hand-knitted beanies that look like they were made by someone's cat…

You wander aimlessly, passing stalls selling vintage cameras (too expensive), artisanal coffee beans (too obvious), and leather-bound journals (too pretentious, even for him). 

Nothing feels right. 

Not that it matters—it's just a stupid obligation gift. You shouldn't care this much.

But you do. And that's annoying as fuck.

Then, a rickety table stacked with milk crates catches your eye—or rather, the handwritten sign that reads "RECORDS $5-20" in faded Sharpie. 

The elderly man behind the table looks like he's been selling vinyl since before your parents were born, his weathered hands carefully flipping through a box as a customer asks about some obscure band.

You wait until they leave, then approach, trying to look like someone who actually knows something about records. The crates are dusty, disorganized, with no apparent system. Just hundreds of albums crammed together like sardines.

"Looking for anything specific?" the old man asks, voice gravelly from what you assume are decades of cigarettes.

"Just browsing," you say, already flipping through the nearest crate.

Most of the covers are faded, corners bent, some with water damage or mysterious stains you'd rather not identify. You recognize maybe one in ten artists—a lot of jazz, classic rock, some folk singers your dad probably listened to in college.

This is stupid. You don't know what you're looking for. Jungkook collects vinyl but doesn't even own a record player. What kind of pretentious bullshit is that? It's like buying books just to display them on a shelf without reading them.

You're about to give up when your fingers pause on a familiar name.

John Mayer.

The album cover is slightly worn at the edges, but otherwise in decent condition. 

"Inside Wants Out," it says in simple white letters against the picture of a dude (you guess it’s John) in the background. 

You don’t recognize it at all.

But Jungkook listens to him. His vynil collection is basically a shrine to him. 

So you ask "how much?", holding up the record.

The old man squints. "Fifteen."

Fifteen bucks. Okay, that’s... actually reasonable. Not so expensive that it seems like you care, but not so cheap that it looks like an afterthought. 

Just a casual, "hey, saw this and thought of your weird vinyl collection" kind of gift.

Perfect.

"I'll take it," you say, already digging in your bag for your wallet.

The man slides the record into a paper sleeve, takes your money, and hands you your change with a nod. 

Transaction complete. Gift acquired. Problem solved.

You tuck the record under your arm, feeling oddly satisfied despite yourself. It's just a record. Just a stupid birthday gift for your annoying roommate who thinks he knows everything about everyone, including your taste in men.

But as you weave through the crowd toward the food trucks, you can't help but wonder if he'll like it. If his face will do that thing—that brief, unguarded thing where his eyes light up before he remembers he's supposed to be all cool and detached.

Not that you care. You're just fulfilling a social obligation. That's all.

That's absolutely all.

"Did you actually buy something?" Yeji asks when you reach her, eyeing the record under your arm. "Since when are you into vinyl?"

"Just decoration. For the vinyl wall.”

Irya peers at it. "John Mayer? Isn't he like, your dad's music?"

"He's not that old," you find yourself saying, then immediately wonder why you're defending John fucking Mayer of all people. "And anyway, it was cheap."

"Whatever you say." Yeji shrugs, then holds up a small paper bag. "I got those earrings we saw last week. The ones that look like little daggers."

"Nice," you nod, grateful for the subject change. "I'm starving. Can we get food now?"

As you follow them toward the food trucks, you resist the urge to check the record again, to make sure it's not too scratched or damaged. It doesn't matter. It's just a record. Just a gift.

Just something to cross off your to-do list before Emma's birthday tonight and Jungkook's surprise dinner tomorrow.

Nearing the trucks, suddenly everything smells good. Too good. The kind of good that makes decision-making a fucking nightmare.

You slow your steps, scanning the options.

One truck’s got sizzling skewers of grilled meat, charred at the edges, dripping onto soft pita. Another is doing fresh arepas, the scent of melted cheese thick and indulgent in the air. A few feet away, some guy with tattooed knuckles and an unreasonably aggressive beanie is ladling out steaming bowls of Vietnamese pho.

And then there’s the birria taco stand—because of course there is—and the line is criminally long, people clutching Styrofoam trays of consommé like their lives depend on it.

Your stomach rumbles.

By the time you settle on something—one of those ridiculous but beautiful smash burgers, glossy brioche bun soaking up all that greasy, caramelized goodness—you barely get your wallet out before Yeji hip-checks you out of the way.

“I pay, I pay, I pay,” she announces, tapping her phone against the card reader with swift finality.

You blink. “Okay, what?”

Yeji grins, entirely too pleased with herself. “Well, I’m obviously paying for my beautiful girlfriend, and I kinda figured I’d put you in the package deal.”

You snort, giving her a shove. “Fine. But beers later on me.”

“Deal,” she says easily, tossing the receipt onto the counter like a Wall Street exec closing a million-dollar deal.

Irya latches onto your arm, steering you out of the way so Yeji can continue flirting with the guy behind the counter—some blue-haired, too-many-rings kind of guy who’s already leaning into it, smirking as Yeji compliments his “artistry” with the grill.

“She’s ridiculous,” you mutter.

Irya hums, but there’s amusement in her eyes as she grabs your food, balancing her own order on top of yours. “Just my type of ridiculous.”

You shake your head, leading the way toward a set of old picnic tables at the edge of the food truck lot. The wood is worn, graffiti-scratched and dented from years of use, but it’s clean enough. You drop into a seat, setting your tray down, and Irya follows, sliding in across from you.

She sets her elbow on the table, chin resting lightly in her palm, and smiles. A lock of blonde hair falls loose, catching the light, and she tucks it back behind her ear absently.

“So, Emma’s birthday tonight?”

You unwrap your burger, glancing up at her. “Yeah.”

She studies you for a second, eyes warm. “Excited?”

You hesitate. 

“Yeah,” you say again, but it comes out different this time. Not untrue, exactly, but not as sure as it should be.

Irya notices. Tilts her head slightly, patient, the corners of her mouth tugging into something knowing. 

“You don’t have to be.”

A breath of something close to laughter slips out of you.

 “I mean, I am excited,” you say, because you are. “It’s just—it’s been a while. We used to be really close in high school, but then, you know… life.”

Irya nods, thumb idly tracing the grain of the table. “She’s in Columbia, right?”

“Yeah. I stayed in-state for a bit before moving here. Different cities, different schools, different everything.” You shrug, picking at the edge of the wax paper lining your tray. “We tried to keep in touch, but it’s not the same when you’re not living through the same things anymore. And then you just… don’t talk as much. And then that becomes normal.”

“And now?”

“Now she’s in the city, and I guess we’re both trying to reconnect.”

“That’s good,” Irya says, and she means it. “It’s nice when people want to find their way back to each other.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, glancing down at your food, pushing a fry through the puddle of ketchup on your tray. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

Irya watches you, quiet for a second. Then—

“She’s inviting a lot of people, right?”

You nod, grateful for the slight shift in direction. “Yeah. Told me to bring people, too, so I figured you and Yeji. Maybe Jimin.”

“Jimin would love that.” Irya grins. “He’s been in study-group hell all week. He deserves some fun.”

“You think?” You manage to say whilst chewing on the potato. “I thought I wouldn’t be doing him any favors. Like, he’s the type of person to say yes just out of obligation. And I didn’t want to pressure him into anything.”

Irya makes a soft sound of amusement, propping her chin in her palm. “Nah. If Jimin really didn’t want to go, he’d find a way to say no without actually saying no.”

You pause mid-chew. “What does that mean?”

“It means he’d do that thing where he apologizes like, three different ways in the same sentence, but somehow, you still walk away not totally sure if he said yes or no.”

You snort, swallowing. “Okay, yeah. That sounds about right.”

Irya grins, poking at her fries. “And anyway, he actually likes going out. He just overthinks it first.”

“You say that like you’re sure.”

“I am sure,” she says breezily. “I have classes with him. I watch it happen in real time.”

“Real time?”

“Oh, yeah. Like, someone invites him somewhere, and you can see him start to spiral. Like, ‘Okay, but what if I go and I regret it? But what if I don’t go and I regret that instead? But what if I go, but it’s not fun? But what if I don’t go, and it was fun, and now I’m missing out?’” She mimics his voice, exaggerated and tragic, and you can’t help but laugh.

“Okay, but that is a valid crisis.”

“It is,” Irya agrees, laughing too. “But the point is, once he actually gets there, he has a good time.” She levels you with a look, half teasing, half expectant. “So invite him.”

You sigh, reaching for another fry. “Fine.”

And then—

“I got us free dumplings.”

Yeji appears out of nowhere, sliding into the seat next to Irya and dropping a white takeout box onto the table like she’s just secured a goddamn business deal.

You blink. “How?”

She shrugs, already reaching for a dumpling. “Wouldn’t take my money.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

Irya hums, all faux-innocent. “Didn’t happen to have anything to do with that very long, very intimate conversation you were having with the guy behind the counter, did it?”

Yeji smirks around a bite of dumpling. “I dunno. Did it?”

You snort, shaking your head. “Men and their non-existent gaydars.”

“Right? Kinda sucks when she grabs all their attention,” Irya smiles, reaching for a dumpling of her own.

“Not my fault he was easy to entertain,” Yeji says, looking entirely unbothered. “Anyway, eat. They’re fresh.”

You don’t argue. The dumplings are good—warm, crisp at the edges, the filling rich with just the right balance of spice.

Yeji watches you for a second, chewing thoughtfully. “So what were we talking about?”

“Jimin,” Irya supplies.

Yeji groans. “Ugh. Tragic little academic. Is he still alive?”

Irya nods, popping a dumpling into her mouth. “Barely. But we’re dragging him to Emma’s party tonight, so he might actually remember what fun feels like.”

Yeji quirks an eyebrow, chewing slowly. “Emma?” She flicks a glance at you. “Your other friend? Birthday girl?”

You take a sip of your drink. “Mmhm.”

Yeji hums, tapping her chopsticks against the takeout box. “Bestie competition, then.”

You nearly choke. “Oh my god.”

Irya grins, delighted. “It is kind of serious. High school bestie versus new college besties.”

Yeji tilts her head, considering. “I don’t know, man. Legacy friends have an unfair advantage. History. Nostalgia.”

“Yeah,” Irya sighs, fake mournful. “How can we ever compete with the memories?”

You level them both with a flat look. “You’ve known me for a month.”

Yeji leans back. “It’s been a whole month already? Woah.”

“We’re joking. I’m sure we’ll get along.” Irya adds.

You snort, shaking your head.

Yeji watches you for a second, still smirking, but then the expression shifts—just a little. 

“Are you excited?”

The question catches you off guard. Not because it’s unexpected, but because it’s… genuine.

You pause, setting down your cup. 

“Yeah,” you say, slower this time. “I mean, I haven’t seen her in a while, so it’ll be—nice. A little weird, maybe. But nice.”

Yeji nods. “You gonna introduce us?”

You blink. “Uh. Yeah?”

Irya arches her eyebrows. “Yeah?”

You groan. “Oh my god, what is that supposed to mean?”

Yeji shrugs, reaching for another dumpling. “I mean, if she’s bestie material, we gotta vet her.”

“Shouldn’t she be the one vetting you two? She’s known me since I had braces and a regrettable side bang phase. Feels like she’s got seniority here.”

Yeji gasps. “Wow. So you’re saying we have no authority in this situation?”

“We really don’t.” Irya muses, almost singsonging.

“I don’t know,” Yeji muses, tapping a finger against her chin. “I feel like we bring some very important qualifications to the table. For example, we met Y/N when she was already in her fully realized, evolved form. We didn’t just settle for her because we grew up in the same town.”

You roll your eyes. “Jesus.”

Yeji nods, completely serious. “Yeah, we got to make an informed choice. Handpicked, if you will.”

“Wow, lucky me.”

Irya grins. “So lucky.”

You shake your head, reaching for another fry. “Just… behave.”

“I always behave,” Yeji says, smirking. “You’re just afraid we’ll be better besties than Emma.”

You scoff. “That’s not even remotely the issue.”

“Then what is the issue?” Irya prompts, head tilting to the side.

You hesitate. Not because you don’t know, but because saying it out loud feels like giving it weight. Giving it power.

You exhale. “It’s just—there’s a difference between keeping in touch and actually knowing someone after years apart. And I guess I don’t know if we still… fit the way we used to.”

That quiets them for a beat.

Yeji tilts her head, watching you with something unreadable in her gaze. Irya rests her chin in her palm again, a small, knowing smile playing at her lips.

“That’s fair,” Irya says, voice softer this time. “It’s weird when people grow in different directions. Sometimes you come back together. Sometimes you don’t.”

You nod, not entirely trusting yourself to speak.

“But hey,” Yeji cuts in, voice as casual as ever, “if she sucks, at least you’ll have us.”

You huff a laugh. “So generous of you.”

She winks. “I know.”

And just like that, the weight on your chest feels a little lighter.

You stare at your reflection, one eye perfectly winged, the other a smudged disaster—like your life, really: half put together, half absolute chaos.

You lean closer to the mirror, squinting at your uneven eyeliner with the kind of intense focus that FBI agents would reserve for defusing bombs or something. You've been at this for twenty minutes now, and your right eye is starting to look like it's been drawn by a five-year-old with a crayon during an earthquake.

"Fuck," you mutter, reaching for a cotton swab. 

Third time's the charm, right? 

Or maybe fifth. 

You've lost count.

From the living room, Griffin's thunderous purr competes with Yeji's animated voice. She's been trying to convince Yoongi to produce some track for her for the past fifteen minutes, her persistence almost admirable if it weren't so clearly futile. Yoongi's monotone responses barely register over the distance, but you can picture his expression—bored, unbothered, probably wanting to kill himself before engaging.

"Orange cats are literally the basic bitches of the cat world," Yeji declares loudly enough for you to hear. "Black cats have personality. They have depth. They're mysterious."

"Tell that to Griffin," Irya responds, her voice warm and amused. "He seems pretty content being basic on your lap right now."

"That's cats for you," Yeji sighs dramatically. "The least person who wants them is the one who gets them."

You smile despite your eyeliner frustration. Because it’s ironic—Yeji, who swears black cats are superior, is now trapped under Griffin's substantial orange weight. 

That's karma, feline edition.

You’re wearing a dress to the gathering—the same one from that night in January. You've worn it exactly once since buying it, and now it's making its second appearance. 

It's not like you planned it this way. It just happened to be the perfect outfit for Emma's birthday dinner. 

(At least that's what you tell yourself as you deliberately avoid examining your motives too closely.)

Emma. Your high school friend. Your only real connection to your life before college. 

Before this apartment. 

Before Jungkook

You haven't seen her in months (since that night in January), and there's a strange anxiety bubbling in your stomach that has nothing to do with your makeup struggles. 

You did vibe back then. But… was it a ‘we vibe because we are going out’ situation; or was it because you two actually connected?

People change. You've changed. The question hanging in the air is whether you've changed in compatible ways.

At least you won't be alone tonight. Emma said you could bring friends, so naturally, you are bringing them along.

You dab at your eyeliner again, smudging it further. Great. Now you look like you've been punched. Or crying. Or both.

A soft knock on the door interrupts your silent self-criticism.

"Come in," you call, not bothering to hide your frustration. It's not like anyone in this apartment hasn't seen you in various states of disaster before.

The door creaks open, and Jimin's face appears in the gap, his expression shifting from curious to sympathetic as he takes in your makeup situation.

"Having trouble?" he asks, stepping into the small bathroom. 

The space immediately feels warmer with him in it. Jimin has that effect—like a human comfort blanket.

"What gave it away?" you deadpan, gesturing to your face. "The fact that I look like I let a toddler do my makeup, or the fact that I've been in here for half an hour?"

He laughs softly, the sound gentle and reassuring. "It's not that bad."

"Liar."

"Okay, it's a little uneven," he admits, moving closer to examine your handiwork. His eyes narrow slightly as he studies your face with unexpected intensity. "Let me."

Before you can respond, he's taking the eyeliner from your hand, his fingers brushing against yours in a brief moment of warmth.

"You know how to do this?" you ask, surprised.

"I have sisters," he says simply, which doesn't really answer your question, but you don't push it. "Close your eye," he instructs, his voice soft but confident.

You comply, feeling the gentle pressure of his hand steadying your face. His touch is light, precise—and you can’t help but feel this is some sort of significant moment. 

"Stay still," he murmurs, and you can sense the smile forming on his lips.

The eyeliner glides across your lid with surprising smoothness. One stroke, then another. No hesitation in his movement. You're impressed and a little confused by his skill, but mostly grateful.

"Where did you learn to—"

"Shh," he interrupts. "No talking or I'll mess up."

You fall silent, letting him work. There's something about Jimin that's always made you curious. He's like a book with half the pages glued together—what you can read is beautiful, but you sense there's more to the story.

"Done," he announces after a moment, stepping back to admire his work. "Take a look."

You turn to the mirror and blink in surprise. The wing is perfect—sharp enough to kill a man, as Yeji herself would say. It matches the other eye exactly, creating a symmetry you couldn't achieve on your own.

"Jimin, this is..." you trail off, turning to face him. "How are you so good at this?"

He shrugs, a small, almost shy grin playing at his lips. "I just have a steady hand, I guess."

There's more to it than that—you can tell by the way he avoids your eyes, the slight flush creeping up his neck. But something tells you not to press further. 

Everyone has their secrets.

Private pieces they're not ready to share. 

You, of all people, know that.

"Well, whatever the reason, thank you," you say sincerely. "You just saved me from looking like a hot mess at Emma's birthday."

"Happy to help," he replies, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "You look beautiful."

The compliment is simple, genuine, without the weight of expectation or desire that usually accompanies such words from men. 

It's refreshing. Because you feel like Jimin sees you—really sees you—without wanting anything in return.

"We should probably get going soon," he says, glancing at his watch. "Yeji's been threatening to leave without us for the past ten minutes."

"As if she would," you scoff, reaching for your lipstick. "She's too excited about meeting Emma and judging her worthiness."

Jimin laughs. "True. Though I think she's more excited about the free food."

"Priorities," you agree with a smile.

You apply your lipstick—a muted berry shade that complements your eyeshadow without being too dramatic. The final touch to your appearance. Not too casual, not too glamorous. Perfect for a birthday dinner.

You've always loved makeup, the ritual of it, the transformation. 

Not because you're trying to hide or become someone else, but because it's an extension of yourself—another form of expression. 

You're so tired of those cliché "not like other girls" characters in movies and books who supposedly wear nothing but mascara yet somehow have flawless skin and perfect brows. 

As if enjoying makeup somehow makes you shallow or less authentic.

The truth is, most girls you know love makeup to some degree. Some for the artistry, some for the confidence boost, some just because it's fun. And you're no different. 

That doesn't make you basic or vain—it makes you human. 

A human who happens to enjoy the satisfying swipe of a good lipstick.

"Ready?" Jimin asks, holding the door open for you.

You take one last look at your reflection. The girl staring back looks put together, confident. 

Whether she actually feels that way is another story entirely, but hey—fake it till you make it, right?

"Ready," you confirm.

You're halfway out the door when you pause. 

Something's missing. The final touch.

"Oh, wait. Cologne."

Jimin nods understandingly, already retreating toward the living room. "Don't take too long or Yeji might actually follow through on her threats this time."

You turn back to the bathroom counter, sliding open the narrow drawer where your collection lives. Four different bottles stare back at you, each with its own personality, its own statement. Your fingers hover over them, indecisive, until they land on one particular bottle.

Amber, its color.

The golden liquid catches the bathroom light, glowing like trapped sunlight inside the crystal bottle. 

You haven't used it since... well, since that night in January. You've been saving it for special occasions, though what constitutes "special" has remained conveniently undefined.

You lift the bottle, turning it in your hand. You apply it to your wrists, your neck, your ears. And before you can overthink it, you bring it to your nose, inhaling lightly.

Memories unfurl instantly, blooming in your mind like clouds puffing up in a winter sky. They tumble through your consciousness, overwhelming and vivid, making it hard to breathe—though you're not entirely sure you want to.

His hands on your hips, fingers pressing into your skin with just enough pressure to leave phantom marks that lingered for days afterward. 

His slicked chin when he smiled up at you from between your thighs, all smug and proud for making you cum with his tongue. 

His infuriating, satisfied smirk that somehow annoyed you, but also turned you on.

Rosy cheeks and disheveled hair, soft eyes in the aftermath. 

You distinctly remember that was the first time you had thought Jungkook looked cute. Not just hot or sexy, but genuinely cute in a way that had caught you off guard.

And you didn't even know his name then.

The door swings open without warning.

You nearly drop the bottle, fumbling to catch it before it shatters against the tile floor. Your heart leaps into your throat as you look up, startled.

Jungkook peers inside, and you both freeze, staring at each other like you don’t know which one of you should stay and which one of you should leave. His eyes flick from your face to the bottle in your hand, recognition dawning in his expression.

A long pause.

Your eyes drift down his torso, inevitably.

He's wearing a black t-shirt that hugs his frame in all the right places, hair rumpled and messy. His rainy-like scent envelops the cramped space, mingling with the lingering notes of vanilla on your wrist like they’ve always belonged together. 

His eyes drift too. Drop lower, taking in the dress hugging your curves, fingers tightening on the doorframe, knuckles whitening with the pressure. 

You watch the subtle movement, the physical manifestation of restraint, and feel an answering tightness in your chest.

You haven't spoken since Tuesday. Since the fight about Jason. Since he suddenly starting talking about vibes like he’s the type of guy to trust his gut.

And maybe he is. 

And maybe you aren’t.

"Sorry," he says finally, breaking the silence. "Didn't know you were in here."

He avoids your gaze.

You don’t know if that makes you angry or anxious. It’s hard to determine what’s crippling your chest.

"It's fine. I was just leaving."

Neither of you moves.

His eyes drift to the cologne bottle again. Recognition, desire, frustration. 

Then, he masks it. 

But you caught it. 

He remembers the fragrance.

And how could he not? When he constantly praised it that night, how it rested on your skin, how good it made you smell, how fucking good you tasted.

"Going somewhere?" he asks then, interrupting your conflicting thoughts.

"Emma's birthday dinner," you reply, voice tight.

He nods slowly, gaze returning to the dress. The dress from that night. The dress he peeled off you with those same hands now gripping the doorframe like it's the only thing keeping him anchored.

You should move. You should cap the cologne, put it away, walk past him and join your friends who are waiting. You should maintain the cold war you've established since your fight.

Instead, you find yourself asking, "Did you need something?"

He purses his lips. "Just needed to pee.”

"Right," you say. "I'll get out of your way."

You cap the cologne, and you just know his eyes are tracking your every motion. Because that’s Jungkook for you—when he’s focused on something, it’s obvious.

You move toward the door—toward him—and it’s like suddenly, the small bathroom feels impossibly smaller. Like there’s not enough space for both of you and all the unspoken words crowding the air.

You'll have to squeeze past him. There's no way to avoid it.

His grip on the doorframe tightens further, as if he's holding himself back. From what, you're not entirely sure. Touching you? Yelling at you? Both seem equally possible.

"Excuse me," you murmur.

He steps back marginally, not enough to clear the path completely. 

Like he’s hesitating

Like he doesn’t know whether he wants to move for real, or stay rooted in place.

“Jungkook,” you say, and his name feels strange on your tongue after days of not speaking it. “Move.”

“You smell like that night,” he settles for staying instead of moving, voice dropping lower, annoyed. “You know that, right? You’re going to smell exactly like you did when I had you against that wall.”

Your breath catches. Heat blooms across your chest, up your neck.

“That’s not—” you start, but the lie dies on your lips. 

Because it is. Of course it is. You knew exactly what you were doing when you reached for that bottle.

You see his jaw work. His tongue peek against the inside of his cheek. His eyes lock into yours like he wants to say something else.

But he doesn’t. 

“Have fun at your dinner,” is all he comes up with, stepping aside. 

The movement feels like it costs him something.

You move past him. Take a deep breath, pushing thoughts of Jungkook aside. 

Tonight isn’t about him. It’s about Emma, about reconnecting with a part of your life that existed before this apartment, before him.

But as you step into the living room, you can still feel the weight of his gaze on your back, can still smell the amber scent on your skin, can still hear his voice in your ear.

You know that, right? You’re going to smell exactly like you did when I had you against that wall.

And the worst part is, you don’t know why or how—but maybe that’s exactly what you wanted.

The restaurant is too loud, too crowded, too New York—but Emma’s hug is warm, and that makes up for it.

“Finally.” She squeezes you tight, like she’s trying to merge your atoms together. “You took forever.”

Yeji, behind you, snorts. “Blame her eyeliner existential crisis.”

Emma pulls back, eyebrows raised. “Oh? We still doing that?”

“We are always doing that,” you deadpan.

She laughs—her laugh. It’s the same as it was in high school, loud and full, like she actually enjoys things instead of just tolerating them. That hasn’t changed. Neither has the way she looks at you, eyes scanning your face, taking you in like she’s checking if you’re still the same person too.

The answer? You don’t know.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you guys,” she says, looping an arm through yours.

You let yourself be pulled in—into the restaurant, into her world, into the crowd of fifteen fucking people all squeezed around a too-small table in the back corner. She moves through the chaos easily, hand on your wrist, steering you like she used to when you were seventeen and invincible.

“This is Yeji, Irya, and Jimin,” you say as you go, pointing them out like exhibits in a museum.

Emma grins at them, all effortless charm. “Your uni friends. I’ve heard so much.”

Jimin, ever polite, smiles back. “All good things, I hope.”

Emma does not confirm or deny, which says enough.

There’s a blur of names you won’t remember—Emma’s friends, classmates, people who probably have their lives together in a way you do not. Someone pulls her into another conversation, and you hover awkwardly at the edge of the group, watching her slip back into a world that isn’t yours.

It’s strange.

You used to know everything about her. Every inside joke, every dream, every late-night insecurity whispered over FaceTime. 

But now—now you’re an observer. 

A guest.

Still, when she sits, she grabs your wrist again and tugs you down next to her.

“So,” she starts, picking up her glass—red wine, something deep and rich. “Are you finally admitting that I was right, or are we still in the denial phase?”

You blink, thrown. “About what?”

She gives you a look. “Do I have to spell it out?”

Your stomach knots.

Jungkook. She means Jungkook.

You exhale through your nose, reaching for your water instead. “We are so not doing this here.”

Emma grins, but she lets it go—for now.

Instead, she leans back. “God, I forgot how exhausting socializing is. I swear, law school is turning me into one of those people who can only function in coffee shops and libraries.”

You snort. “You were already that person in high school.”

“True,” she concedes, tilting her glass toward you. “But now it’s worse. Now I actually enjoy tax law. Like, genuinely. It’s fascinating.”

You wrinkle your nose. “I refuse to believe that.”

“Swear on my life,” she says, amused. “You should see me in my internship. I get excited about deductions. I have a favorite tax loophole.”

“That’s disgusting.”

Emma just grins. “Give it time. One day, you’ll come to me, desperate for tax advice, and I’ll be your only hope. And I will lord it over you.”

“You wish.”

“Oh, I know.”

You roll your eyes but can’t help the way your lips twitch. It’s easy, falling into conversation with Emma. Easier than you thought it would be, considering how much has changed since high school.

“So, what’s the plan then?” you ask, nudging your knee against hers under the table. “You still set on Seattle after graduation?”

Emma hesitates. Not in a bad way—more like she’s holding onto something, waiting for the right moment.

“Actually,” she says, twirling the stem of her glass between her fingers. “I’ve been thinking about Europe.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Europe?”

“Yeah.” She leans forward slightly, eyes lighting up. “I did a summer program there—France, Italy, Greece, Spain. It was insane. I loved it. I don’t know, I just—” She exhales, shaking her head like she can’t quite put it into words. “Seattle was always the safe plan, you know? The practical one. But now? I keep thinking about the Mediterranean coast. The markets, the people. It feels like people there work to live, not live to work like they do here in America.”

You watch her carefully. Emma has always been a planner, a strategist. She doesn’t make decisions lightly.

And yet—she looks alive talking about this.

“So, what?” you ask. “You’re gonna become a tax attorney in Greece? Help rich expats avoid paying their fair share?”

Emma snorts. “God, no. If I go, I’d probably work with international firms, corporate law, maybe even consulting. It’s different over there, you know? Taxes, policies, loopholes—everything shifts depending on the country, the treaties in place.”

“You realize you sound even worse now, right?”

“Shut up,” she laughs. “At least I’m passionate about something.”

You hum, thoughtful. “So, Europe.”

“Maybe,” she says. “Nothing’s set in stone yet.”

But you can tell, just from the way she says it, that it’s more than a maybe.

It’s funny. The last time you saw her, she was talking about Seattle like it was inevitable. Now she’s talking about the Mediterranean coast with the kind of quiet certainty that makes you think she’s already half there.

People change.

You’ve changed.

And yet, it feels like nothing between you two has changed at all. 

Emma eyes you for a long moment, then smirks. 

“Your turn.”

You blink. “What?”

“You’ve barely told me anything about your life,” she says. “How’s English? Still planning on breaking the hearts of young, impressionable students as a professor?”

“First of all, no. That is not the plan. And second—”

“You can’t tell me you don’t look the part,” she teases. “The eyeliner? The whole vibe? You’d have students falling in love with you instantly.”

“I hate you.”

She grins. “I missed you too.”

You feel it, then—the warmth of familiarity, of friendship. It settles in your chest, light and unburdened, and for the first time in a while, you think:

This is nice.

Even with the changes, even with the time apart, even with the half-truths lingering at the back of your throat—this is still Emma.

“Come on,” Emma nudges your arm, eyes gleaming. “Let me introduce you to my favorite tax nerds.”

You groan, but let her pull you toward the other end of the table. “If I die of boredom, I’m haunting you.”

“They’re fun,” she insists, dodging between chairs and half-full wine glasses. “For tax people, anyway.”

The group is mid-conversation when you arrive—something about offshore accounts, corporate loopholes, and why the ultra-wealthy pay less in taxes than you probably spend on coffee each year. (Fascinating.) Chris and Max, two guys who both look like they were born wearing pressed button-ups, are deep in debate, hands gesturing, voices overlapping.

But the girl sitting across from you—Nina—just listens, quiet, observant.

She clocks you the moment you sit down. And you clock her right back.

Dark brown skin, black curls tucked behind one ear, a delicate gold necklace resting just above the collar of an oversized sweater. The sleeves are pushed up to reveal slender wrists, and she has the kind of presence that doesn’t need to fill space to be felt. 

There’s something measured about her. Something thoughtful. Like she only speaks when there’s something worth saying.

She’s pretty.

Really pretty.

But it’s more than that. She’s composed in a way that makes you hyperaware of yourself—your posture, the way you’re holding your drink, the way she looks at you with a quiet, unreadable expression.

“Hi,” she says, voice smooth, accent lilting ever so slightly.

It’s just that—simple. Friendly. Maybe.

You clear your throat. “Hey.”

Emma gestures between you. “Nina, this is my friend from high school—the one I told you about?”

Nina hums like she remembers, tilting her head. “The one who thinks tax law is boring?”

You blink. “Emma told you that?”

“She warned me in advance,” Nina says, lips twitching. “Said you might try to stage an intervention.”

You shoot Emma a look, but she’s already sipping her wine, unbothered. 

“Well,” you say, turning back to Nina, “I was going to be polite about it, but now I feel like I have a responsibility.”

That gets a small smile out of her. Just a slight curve of the lips, like she’s amused but won’t give you the satisfaction of knowing just how much.

You don’t know why that makes you want to push, just a little.

“So,” you continue, tilting your head, “what is it, then? The thing about tax law that actually doesn’t put you to sleep?”

Nina considers this. Takes a slow sip of her drink. And when she speaks, it’s not rushed—it’s careful.

“It’s not about the numbers,” she says, setting her glass down. “Not really. It’s about human nature. About how people behave when they think no one is watching. Governments set up incentives, and people react accordingly. It’s a game of strategy. A reflection of what a society actually values, not just what it claims to.”

You weren’t expecting that answer.

Your fingers tighten slightly around your glass. “So, what—you think taxes are, like, a moral compass?”

Nina shrugs. “Not a moral compass. But they show you what people are willing to bend the rules for. What they think is worth cheating for. And that’s… interesting, I think.”

You watch her, trying to get a read on her. She’s got this almost effortless kind of intrigue—the kind of person who could make anything sound poetic if she wanted to.

Emma groans. “Oh god, don’t encourage her. She’ll start talking about capital gains tax next.”

Nina lifts a brow. “It’s actually fascinating, if you—”

“Absolutely not,” Emma interrupts. “Nope. I refuse.”

You smirk. “I don’t know, Em. I kind of want to hear her out.”

Emma glares at you. “Do not encourage the tax philosophy.”

But Nina is looking at you again. Not in a dramatic way. Not in a way that screams I’m interested. But in a way that’s… present. Attentive. Like she actually finds this conversation worth having.

And maybe that means nothing.

Or maybe it does.

You’re not sure.

Which—God, why is this always harder with girls?

With guys, it’s obvious. But with girls—well. You think she’s enjoying this. But is she just enjoying it, or is there something else there? Is this just conversation, or is it something that, in hindsight, will feel like a moment?

You have no fucking idea.

The conversation shifts after that—Emma talks about her summer in Europe, Chris and Max start debating New York’s best pizza, someone brings up an upcoming bar crawl.

And then, at some point, Nina glances at her phone before looking at you again.

“You mind if I get your number?” she asks.

Casual. Easy. Nothing in her tone suggests it’s anything more than that.

“Emma talks about you a lot,” she adds, mouth twitching slightly. “I feel like I should probably fact-check at least half of it.”

Emma swats at her, but you barely register it, already pulling your phone out.

You’re not reading into it. You’re not.

But also—

You kind of are.

Still, you hand your phone over, watch as Nina types in her number, then passes it back. Just a name in your contacts now. Simple. Unassuming.

You have no idea if you just made a new friend or if this is something else.

And honestly?

You kind of like not knowing.

“Well, well, well,” Yeji drawls, sliding into the conversation without invitation. “Are we allowed to sit, or is this a tax-exclusive gathering?”

You exhale. “Jesus, Yeji.”

“What? We were getting bored.” She drops into the seat beside you, tossing an arm over Irya’s chair. “Jimin’s been overanalyzing the condensation on his glass for the past fifteen minutes, and Irya’s just been smiling at people like a lost pageant contestant.”

“I was being friendly,” Irya corrects, unfazed.

“You were being too friendly.”

“Networking,” Irya insists, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I love people.”

“You do,” Emma says, delighted. “It’s terrifying.”

Irya beams, pleased. Yeji just sighs like she’s accepted her fate.

Nina watches all of this unfold with quiet amusement, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass. “You two are together?”

Yeji tilts her head. “That a problem?”

Nina meets her gaze evenly. “No. It’s nice.”

It’s a simple statement, but it rings genuine, like she’s not just saying it to be polite. Yeji studies her for a second longer before nodding, satisfied, and pulling Irya in to kiss her temple.

Emma turns to you, grinning. “Your friends are so much more fun than my law ones.”

You smirk. “That’s because they have souls.”

Chris, still lingering in the tax-law-heavy end of the table, lifts a hand in protest. “Hey.”

Yeji ignores him completely, waving to Nina instead. “So, you’re a tax philosopher?”

Nina looks faintly amused but nods. “That’s what they tell me.”

“Cool, cool,” Yeji muses, reaching for Irya’s wine and taking a sip before Irya can protest. “And do you also believe that money isn’t real?”

Nina tilts her head slightly, considering. “I think it’s real in the sense that it determines the way the world functions. But I also think it’s one of the biggest shared delusions humanity has ever committed to.”

Yeji brightens. “See? This is the tax conversation I want to be having.”

You roll your eyes, but Nina takes it in stride. She’s good at this, you notice—letting conversations unfold naturally, never forcing her presence but never fading into the background either.

Across from you, Jimin has settled into his usual quiet observation, sipping his drink slowly. He’s not uncomfortable, just taking it all in. He catches your eye at one point, a small look that says ‘you good?’

You nod, barely perceptible.

He doesn’t push. Just gives a small nod back and turns his attention back to the conversation. Just listening in.

Emma leans in slightly, nudging your arm. “I like them,” she murmurs.

You glance at her, raising a brow. “Yeah?”

She hums. “They make you lighter.”

It’s such an Emma thing to say—blunt in a way that doesn’t feel invasive, just observant. 

You don’t respond right away, but you don’t need to. 

She’s already grinning like she knows the answer.

The apartment is quiet when you finally get home, the only light coming from the TV screen where some game is paused. 

Jungkook is sprawled on the couch, controller resting loosely in his hands, looking like he's been there for hours. He glances up when the door closes behind you, expression neutral.

"It's late," he says, not quite a question.

You drop your keys in the bowl by the door. "Yeah."

"Had fun?" He unpauses the game, thumbs moving lazily over the controller buttons. His character on screen walks aimlessly into a wall.

"Yeah," you say, kicking off your heels with a sigh of relief. "Emma's friends are cool. We ended up at this bar in Brooklyn after dinner."

He makes a noncommittal sound, still not looking at you.

"Jason wasn't there, though, so don't worry," you add, unable to help yourself.

That gets his attention. His thumbs still, and he scoffs, a short, sharp sound in the quiet apartment. 

“You know I don't give a fuck about that guy, right?"

"Really?" You raise an eyebrow, heading to the kitchen for water. "Because you seemed to have very strong opinions about him on Tuesday."

The controller drops onto the couch as he turns to face you fully. 

“Look," he says, voice tight with frustration. "I don't give a fuck who you fuck or who you date. Seriously. Not my business."

"Yup. Three rules," you start, unscrewing the cap on your water bottle.

"One, no one knows," he recites, cutting you off.

"Two, if somebody asks, we're just roommates," you continue.

"And three," he interrupts again, more forcefully, "no feelings. I know the fucking rules, Phoenix. I helped make them."

You take a long drink of water, studying him over the bottle. His hair is messy in a stupid endearing way, and there are shadows under his eyes. 

"So what was Tuesday about, then?" you ask finally.

He exhales slowly, jaw working. "I told you. The guy gives me bad vibes."

"Bad vibes," you repeat flatly.

"Yeah. Bad fucking vibes." He rubs a hand over his face. "Look, I know how it sounded, okay? But it's not—" He stops, frustrated. "It's not about you. Or us. Or whatever the fuck we're doing."

You consider him for a moment, then set your water bottle down and cross to the couch, sitting on the opposite end. 

"Explain."

"What?"

"Explain these 'bad vibes.' Because from where I was sitting, it sounded irrational."

"It's not—" He stops again, shaking his head. "You know what? Forget it. Not my problem."

"Jungkook."

He looks at you, surprised by the use of his actual name.

"I'm trying to understand," you say, softer than you intended. "So explain it to me."

He studies you for a long moment, like he's trying to decide if you're serious. 

Finally, he sighs. "He's fake."

"Fake how?"

"The way he talks. The way he looks at you when you're not watching. The way he touched your arm in the car." His words come faster now. "The way he asked about your schedule, your classes. The way he positioned himself between us. It's all... calculated."

You frown. "That's a lot to read into a few interactions."

"I know what I saw," he insists. "Guys like that... they start small. Compliments. Attention. Making you feel special. Then it's suggestions about what you should wear. Who you should hang out with. What classes you should take."

His tone is raw, really raw, and you realize it’s the first time you’ve heard him talk like this. 

Like it’s personal.

“You're saying he's controlling."

"I'm saying he could be." He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up further. "Look, I've seen it before, okay? People who seem perfect on the surface but underneath they're just... manipulative. They make you think everything's your idea when really they're pulling all the strings."

You're quiet for a moment, processing. 

"This isn't just about Jason, is it?"

His eyes flick to yours, then away. 

"I told you. It's not about you or us."

"But it is about someone."

He doesn't answer, but his silence is confirmation enough.

"Mia?" you ask softly.

"I don't want to talk about her."

"Okay," you say, respecting the boundary even as curiosity burns through you. "But that's why you're worried about Jason? Because he reminds you of her?"

"Not of her specifically," he says after a pause. "Just... the type. The signs."

You pull your legs up onto the couch, turning to face him fully. "What signs?"

He looks at you for a long moment, like he's deciding how much to share. 

"The perfect act," he says finally. "The way everything seems rehearsed. The charm that never quite reaches their eyes." His voice drops lower. "The way they make you feel like you're the only person in the room, but it's not because they care about you. It's because they want something from you."

"And you think that's Jason?"

"I don't know," he admits. "Maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there. But my gut says something's off with him."

You consider this. "Your gut's been wrong before."

A bitter smile twists his lips. "Yeah. More than once."

Silence stretches between you, but it’s not the uncomfortable kind. It’s like you’re both still processing the words exchanged.

"I'm still going on the date," you say finally.

He nods, looking away. "I know."

"But I'll... keep what you said in mind. Watch for the signs."

He glances back at you, surprise flickering across his face. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." You shrug, trying to keep it casual. "Contrary to what you might think, I don't actually enjoy being manipulated."

"Could've fooled me," he mutters, but there's no real heat behind it.

You kick his thigh lightly with your foot. "Asshole."

The corner of his mouth twitches upward. "Brat."

Silence again. His forearms are resting on his knees, hands crossed together as his gaze remains unfocused.

"So," he says eventually, "how was the birthday girl?"

You're surprised by the question, by his apparent interest in your life outside this apartment. 

"Good," you say. "Different, but good. She's in Economics. Has a serious boyfriend. Wears a lot of beige."

"Sounds thrilling."

You laugh despite yourself. "It was actually nice. Weird, but nice. Like visiting a place you used to live but don't anymore."

He nods, understanding in his eyes. "Did your new friends play nice with your old friend?"

"Yeji, Irya and Jimin?" You smile at the memory. "They were on their best behavior. Well, Yeji's version of best behavior, which means she only made three inappropriate jokes and only drank half the table's wine."

He snorts. "Sounds about right."

"Emma liked them, though. I think." You pause, considering. "It's strange, bringing different parts of your life together."

"I bet it is," he agrees quietly.

You look at him, really look at him, sitting there in the dim light of the TV. For once, there's no smirk on his face, no challenge in his eyes. Just Jungkook, tired and rumpled and unexpectedly honest.

"Why were you still up?" you ask suddenly.

The question catches him off guard. "What?"

"It's 3 AM. Why are you still awake?"

He shrugs, defensive again. "Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd play for a bit."

You glance at the TV screen where his character has been standing in the same spot for the past ten minutes. 

"Right."

"What?" he demands.

"Nothing," you say, but you can't help the small smile that forms. "Just... nothing."

He narrows his eyes at you, but doesn't press.

"I should get to bed," you say, standing up. "It's late."

He nods, picking up the controller again. "Yeah."

You're halfway to your room when his voice stops you.

"Phoenix?"

You turn back. "Yeah?"

He’s staring at you, but it’s not the usual smirk. No. 

His eyes flick downward. To the floor, like he’s seriously considering his next words—or rather, if he should vocalize them at all. 

But then he looks up at you again, seemingly decided.

"You..." he starts, licking his lips like he’s trying to pull himself together. But he’s failing. "You know you smell fucking delicious, right? Like, it’s so fucking unfair."

Your pulse stutters. "Excuse me?"

"The cologne," he says, standing up. "You’ve been driving me insane the whole night. The whole apartment smells like you.”

You blink at him, caught somewhere between disbelief and something hotter, heavier. "I didn’t wear it for you."

"No?” His lips twitch, almost a smile but not quite—like he knows exactly how full of shit you are. "The cologne from that night. The dress from that night. And I’m supposed to believe that’s just a coincidence?"

"It is," you snap back, defensive even as your pulse betrays you by speeding up.

He exhales sharply, shaking his head like he can’t believe what he’s hearing—or maybe just like he can’t believe you.

“Fuck, Phoenix," he mutters, voice dropping into something rougher, more dangerous. "Do you have any idea how good you smell? How much I’ve been thinking about getting my mouth on you again?"

Your breath catches somewhere in your throat—an audible hitch that makes his eyes darken further.

"We’re fighting," you remind him weakly.

"Are we?" He steps closer, until there’s barely a whisper of space between you. "Because right now all I can think about is how wet you were for me the first time I smelled that shit on your skin."

You retreat physically; even though mentally you’re honestly already naked for him.

"Four days," he muses, tone dripping with frustration, almost needy. "Four days of smelling your shampoo in the bathroom, that stupid body lotion, and now—now you pull this shit. That’s fucking cruel, Nix.”

"You could’ve apologized," you point out dryly.

"For what?" He scoffs like the idea itself is offensive. "For telling the truth? For saying Jason gives me bad vibes?"

"There it is again," you say, crossing your arms over your chest like it’ll protect you from whatever energy he’s radiating right now. 

It doesn’t.

He exhales softly, eyes flicking to your lips before moving back up. 

“I’m being for real, Phoenix. Your vanilla shit drives me nuts,” he confesses bluntly.

Then llicks his lips, considering what he’s about to say 

But says it anyways. 

“I jerked off after you left.”

Your mouth opens and closes like a fish gasping for air.

"Couldn’t help it," he continues. “The smell of your cologne... seeing you in that dress again... I couldn’t get the image out of my head."

"What image?"

"The first time," he says slowly, like he wants every word to sink into your skin and stay there forever. "In that room. The way you tasted... the sounds you made when I had my tongue inside you."

Your legs threaten mutiny.

"And now?" You force yourself to ask because silence feels dangerous—like it might give him permission to keep going without restraint.

"Now?" He repeats, almost hushed. "Now, I’m… really craving vanilla.”

You should walk away—should turn around and retreat into your room where things are safe and quiet and not vibrating with tension so thick it feels alive—but instead?

Instead, your feet betray you by staying planted firmly in place: "Eat some cookies.”

“I want to eat something else.”

“What if I don’t want you to?”

He purses his lips. Tongue drops to lick the lower one. Gaze flickers to your mouth again before they come back to your pupils.

“You don’t?”

And the way he exhales it, like the mere idea of you saying no pains him—it melts through you. 

Especially when his hand finally finds its way to your waist (warm and solid and grounding despite everything else about this moment feeling anything but grounded).

All thoughts of resistance evaporate faster than they came.

"I do," you hear yourself reply. 

And when his lips brush against the sensitive skin just below your jawline?

You realize two things simultaneously:

One: You were never going to walk away from this moment no matter how much logic tried to intervene earlier.

Two: Logic doesn’t stand a chance against lust when Jungkook looks at you like this.

Chapter 18: on your knees

Summary:

"He didn't picture himself ever begging for pussy... but alas, here he is."

Notes:

LISTEN. You’re so lucky I have multiple FMU chapters backlogged right now, because if I didn’t? I would have thrown an actual tantrum, declared a two-week hermit arc, and told you all to fuck off while I moved to the mountains. BUT. Thankfully, I’ve written up to around Chapter 23-ish and just need to edit, so you can all calm the hell down.

(Context: the 400 notes goal on Tumblr was reached within 23 hours—but thanks to a bit of spam so, I need to create some rules.)

First of all, no—I still haven’t updated the update post, because I’ve been too busy prepping this chapter for release. I’ve had zero time to sit and ponder. That said, the only valid suggestion I’ve gotten so far is to keep the Tumblr note goal but ALSO require the Wattpad goal to be hit—so that’s what we’re trying this time around.

Also—BIG ANNOUNCEMENT—we now have an official Kiki Nation Community on Tumblr (yay!). That’s where you little gremlins can finally scream together in one place, throw theories at each other, and insult Jungkook and Nix in a safe, protected space. (Mainly Jungkook. Because he’s a man. And this is a matriarchy. HUSH.)

So please check it out! Join, comment under the official Chapter 18 discussion post, and if you feel inspired to make a meme or TikTok or post your spiral—DO IT. If it makes me laugh, I will absolutely reblog it.

NOW. About this chapter.

BAHAHA. Okay. First of all—I am so proud of the kiss. I wanted it to be sloppy and wet and messy and borderline excessive, and I think I delivered. It’s so long. I really put my whole kikussy into it.

And of course… it was time. The vibrator had to make its appearance. It’s literally law. I don’t make the rules (but I do).

Also: Rogue begging. crawling. STILETTOS. Why did I like this chapter so much. It was delicious. I love sexually down bad men. Wait until he’s romantically down bad. It’s going to be so satisfying. Trust me.

And the ending?? Made me soft. Actual progress?? Kind of??? They’re still filthy, but they’re also edging toward something stupidly endearing and I hate how much I love that. The way this story is progressing is so slow-burn it makes my bones hurt, but I’m obsessed with it. We are maybe… possibly… inching toward friendship territory. MAYBE.

I’m really looking forward to the next chapters—soon, we’ll meet a new LI on Jungkook’s side (YES!). Things are gonna get messy (eventually). Reminder: they have zero romantic feelings right now. ZERO. What you’re seeing is just… subconscious tension, subtle shifts. We’re nowhere near falling.

So please. I beg you. If I start getting asks about them being in love, I will throw my laptop out the window and revoke my dictatorship. Don’t test me.

Enjoy the chaos. Let me know how hard you spiraled. Love you forever.

OH. I said it before but I will say it again. This chapter is entirely based on the song "get on your knees" by Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj so. Do with that what you will. Listen to it. Enjoy.

Chapter Text

His kiss tastes like four days of wanting.

Your back hits the wall as his mouth crashes into yours—not gentle, not careful, just hungry. Like he's been starving for the taste of you since Tuesday. 

His tongue traces the seam of your lips, a question that isn't really a question at all, because you both know how this ends. You part your lips anyway, granting him access because denying him feels like denying yourself.

His hand comes to rest on your neck, thumb pressing lightly against your pulse point. It's a strange, suspended gesture—like he can't decide whether to pull you closer or hold you exactly where you are. The indecision is so unlike him that it makes your stomach flip.

Then his tongue flattens against yours, and any thoughts of indecision evaporate. He's not kissing you so much as he's tasting you, licking your flavor directly from the source. The sensation is filthy and intimate as his other hand comes to your cheek, fingers splaying across your skin, holding you in place for his exploration.

"Fuck," he breathes against your mouth, the word more vibration than sound. "Missed this."

Not you. This

The distinction matters, even as his tongue circles yours in a slow, deliberate drag that makes your knees weak. He's coating himself with your saliva, savoring you like you're some expensive whiskey he's been saving for a special occasion.

You should probably be grossed out by how wet this kiss is, by how thoroughly he's claiming your mouth.

Instead, you find yourself pressing closer, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.

Because this is what you've been missing too—not him, not really, but this. The way he makes your body respond without even trying. The way he kisses like he's trying to memorize the taste of you.

And then his lips close over yours—soft but firm—like finishing the kiss just to start it all over again. Chained kisses. One bleeding into the next, seamless and endless.

You follow him because how could you not? The way he kisses—it’s not just skill; it’s instinct. Like he knows exactly what to do to keep you hooked, alternating between tongue and lips so perfectly that you never get tired of either. 

Not that you could ever tire of him. 

You’re pretty sure you could never erase the way he kisses—or fucks—from your mind even if you wanted to.

Maybe it’s him knowing what he’s doing. Or maybe it’s just the two of you—two mismatched pieces of completely different puzzles that somehow fit together anyway. 

Just like your mouths do now.

Just like when your tongue darts out to lick at his lower lip in a kitten lick that has him hitching against you, a small, desperate sound escaping his throat. His hips stutter against yours like his body is telling you to stop messing around and get your tongue back inside his mouth where it belongs.

So you do.

You push forward, tongue meeting his again in a slick slide that has him groaning into your mouth. Then you close your lips to transition into another kiss and he follows, tongues forgotten for three, four open-mouthed kisses before he’s lost patience.

He moves his tongue against yours, seeking more, always more. Because when it comes to you, Jungkook is just this eager.

But this time you catch it. Suck it into your mouth in a soft suction that makes him freeze for half a second before his hand tightens on your neck. 

And the sound he makes?

Undiluted filth.

It spurs you on.

You suck harder, dragging your lips down his tongue before releasing him with a soft pop that leaves both of you panting against each other’s mouths. He doesn’t let the pause last long—doesn’t let you last long—and dives back in with a hunger that feels less like kissing and more like consuming.

Tongues forgotten for other five or six kisses as his lips move against yours with bruising intensity—open-mouthed and messy—but he easily grows impatient and his tongue is soon back, sliding against yours like he wants it there.

You catch it once more—suck it again—and the way his hips jerk against yours tells you everything you need to know about how much he likes it.

Filthy sounds fill the space between you: wet kisses, soft moans, the occasional hitch in his breath when you do something particularly good with your tongue.

And when his teeth graze your lower lip before pulling back just enough to look at you?

You realize there’s no winning here—not for either of you—because this isn’t about who takes control or who gives in first.

It’s about this. About mouths fitting together perfectly even though nothing else about this situation should make sense. About tongues sliding together and lips bruising from too much pressure but neither of you caring because fuck—it feels good.

It feels better than good.

It feels addictive.

Your back hits the table near the entryway, and honestly? You never thought a piece of furniture could be an accomplice in your bad decisions, but here you are. Pressed against the entryway table. The one that holds your keys, Yoongi's forgotten mail, and now, apparently, your dignity.

Jungkook hasn't stopped kissing you—not for air, not for sanity, not for anything resembling common sense. It's like he's on a mission to consume you entirely, starting with your mouth and working his way through the rest of you.

These are not the kisses you exchange with people you tolerate. These are not even the kisses you exchange with people you like. These are the kisses of people who might actually hate each other but have found a much more interesting way to express it.

Your lower back presses against the edge. Hard wood digs into soft flesh, and you're about to complain when—

Fuck.

He lifts you. One hand. One fucking hand curves under your ass and hoists you onto the table like you weigh nothing, while his other plants itself firmly on the wood beside your hip. The display of casual strength makes something molten pool in your stomach.

Unfair. Completely unfair how stupidly hot he makes stupid things look. Lifting you shouldn't be attractive. It's basic physics, not foreplay. But your brain has apparently liquefied, pouring out your ears while he steals the oxygen straight from your lungs.

"Fuck, Nix," he mutters against your mouth, the words more vibration than sound. "Been thinking about this for days."

His mouth is relentless—wet, demanding, precise in a way that makes your toes curl in your shoes. He sucks your lower lip between his teeth and—god—applies just enough pressure to sting, like he's trying to extract something essential from you. Like he needs to squeeze you dry, drain you of whatever it is that keeps him coming back.

Didn't even know your bottom lip was an erogenous zone until Jungkook decided it was.

It's too much. The heat, the closeness, the way he seems to have forgotten where you are, who you are.

You push against his chest—not hard, just enough to create a sliver of space between your bodies.

"Jesus Christ," you gasp, chest heaving. "Let me breathe, you animal."

He grins at that—a scorching, self-satisfied smile that makes you want to either slap him or pull him back in.

Maybe both.

He bites his lower lip, swollen from your kisses, and immediately leans back in like your need for oxygen is a minor inconvenience to his plans.

Your palm against his chest stops him, firm this time.

"Wait," you say, voice rough.

Not because you want to stop—god no—but because your brain is finally catching up to your body. And there's something you want. Something specific.

His eyes find yours, dark and questioning. Patient, despite the hunger radiating off him in waves. He's holding himself back, you realize. Letting you dictate what happens next.

Your eyes drop, hair falling across your face as you gather your thoughts, your courage. When you look back up at him through your lashes, his breath catches audibly.

"Bring me the vibrator you chose for me."

His reaction? Pretty funny. Like watching a computer crash and reboot. His entire body goes still—processing, processing—then his eyes widen a fraction. He blinks once, twice, tension visible in the way his jaw ticks.

"What?" he asks, voice cracking slightly.

Something about his reaction makes hot satisfaction curl through you. You like throwing him off balance. Like matching his chaos with your own.

"The vibrator," you repeat, slower this time, savoring each syllable. "The one you picked out. Go get it."

His eyes dart toward your bedroom door, then back to your face. For a moment, you think he might refuse. Might challenge you. But then:

"Yeah," he nods jerkily, already stepping back. "Yeah, I will."

"Will you?" you press, because you can't help it. Because you like the way his pupils dilate when you push.

"Fuck yeah," he breathes, already moving toward your bedroom with a kind of urgent, stumbling grace that would be comical if it weren't so hot.

You watch him go, breathing still uneven, lips still tingling. 

And you think—not for the first time—that there's something dangerously addictive about the way Jungkook responds to you. The way he matches your energy, then amplifies it, reflecting it back at you until you're both caught in some kind of feedback loop of bad ideas and worse self-control.

Roommates with benefits, you remind yourself. That's all this is.

But as you hear him rummaging through your things, drawers opening and closing with increasing urgency, you can't help but wonder if "benefits" is too mild a word for whatever the fuck is happening between you two.

He sprints.

Jungkook doesn't walk to your room—he fucking jogs, like the vibrator might disappear if he doesn't get there fast enough.

Like this moment has an expiration date he can't afford to miss.

No shame. Not a single ounce of it as he bursts through your door, scanning the bedroom impatiently. The same room he's been in a couple of times, but never with this specific mission, never with this frantic energy coursing through his veins.

Where the fuck would a girl keep her vibrator?

No. Not a girl. You. Where would you hide it?

Under the pillow?

He lifts the edge of your pillowcase, peeks beneath it. Nothing. Definitely not there—you like sleeping too much, and having a hard plastic toy jabbing into your cheek all night would be uncomfortable as hell. You're smarter than that.

The wardrobe?

He eyes the wooden doors across the room, considering.

No way. Too far from the bed. You're too practical for that kind of inconvenience. If you wanted to get off, you wouldn't want to climb out of bed and trek across the room.

His eyes land on the nightstand. Bingo.

The drawer slides open with a soft sound. First thing he sees: a messy stack of panties, some lacy, some cotton, all of them instantly triggering mental images he doesn't have time for right now.

He fights—really fights—against the urge to pick one up. To feel the fabric between his fingers, to imagine it hugging the curves he's already memorized with his hands, his mouth. Maybe even bring one to his nose...

Focus, dickhead.

Pushing the underwear aside (what? sue him for wanting to fuel his imagination), his fingers brush against something solid. Hard plastic. Smooth curves.

There it is.

He pulls it out, a triumphant grin spreading across his face as he examines his find. It's exactly as he remembers from the store—sleek, purple, designed for both internal and external stimulation.

Still in its original packaging, which means you haven't used it yet.

Something jittery and hot coils in his stomach at the thought of being the first to see you use it.

He grips it tighter, already imagining what it'll look like pressed against you, already wondering if you'll let him control it or if you'll insist on doing it yourself.

Either way, he's about to witness something fucking spectacular, and his body knows it. His cock strains painfully against his jeans as he heads back to you.

He takes a deep breath before rounding the corner from the hallway.

Tries to center himself, to cool down just a little.

To not look as desperate as he feels.

But then—

Fuck.

The vibrator nearly slips from his suddenly sweaty palm.

You're naked on the table. Completely, gloriously naked except for those high heels that make your legs look like they go on for fucking miles. The dress is gone—discarded somewhere on the floor—and your panties dangle precariously from one ankle like an afterthought.

One leg bent at the knee, heel resting lazily on the wooden surface. The other straight up, creating a perfect right angle that showcases everything he's been craving since the moment he walked through the front door.

And your hand—Christ—your hand is between your thighs, fingers drawing lazy circles over your clit.

His eyes stutter back to one thing though.

The heels.

What is it about the fucking heels?

He's never particularly cared about shoes before, but something about the way they elongate your legs, the way they make your calves flex, the dangerous point of those stilettos against the wooden table-it's doing something to him. Something unexpected and intense.

He nearly stumbles. Actually has to catch himself on the wall because his knees go weak at the sight of you touching yourself, waiting for him, spread open on the goddamn entryway table like the world's most perfect welcome home gift.

His grip on the vibrator tightens until his knuckles go white. He forces his face into something resembling control—a smirk, he hopes, though it feels more like a grimace of restraint.

"Needed it that badly?" he manages, trying to sound casual and cool, though he guesses he fails spectacularly at that.

Your eyes meet his, challenging. "Didn't you?"

The question catches him off guard, but he doesn't falter. Not much, anyway. Just a slight hitch in his breathing that he hopes you didn't notice.

"Yeah," he admits, the word barely audible. Then, louder: "Yeah, I did."

He starts walking toward you, vibrator clutched in his hand, but you stop him with a single raised palm. The universal sign for wait.

"Crawl to me."

His feet halt. He opens his mouth. Closes it.

What?

"What?" he asks, not sure he heard correctly.

"You heard me." Your fingers never stop their gentle circles. "Crawl."

He doesn't know why he does it. Doesn't pause to analyze why the command sends a jolt of electricity straight to his cock.

He just... does it.

Drops to his knees, then to all fours, the vibrator still clutched in one hand.

Maybe it's the novelty—you taking control like this when usually he's the one calling the shots.

Maybe it's the way your eyes darken as you watch him approach, like seeing him on his knees for you is doing something for you too.

Or maybe—most likely—it's just the promise of getting his head between those fucking glorious thighs again.

Whatever the reason, he crawls to you across the hardwood floor, too turned on to care about how it looks, too desperate to worry about his dignity. All he can think about is how wet you'll be, how good you'll taste, how he wants to make you come on his tongue before introducing the vibrator.

He's almost there—close enough to smell you, close enough that if he stretched forward just a bit, he could press his mouth to your inner thigh—when the sharp heel of your stiletto plants firmly against his forehead.

The pressure isn't hard enough to hurt, just enough to stop his forward momentum. To keep him back.

He looks up at you, disbelief warring with arousal.

Surely you're joking?

There's no way you're genuinely stopping him when he's this close, when you're this wet, when everything about this moment has been building toward his mouth on you.

Right?

"The vibrator," you say, extending your hand, heel still pressed lightly to his skin. "Give it to me."

His throat works as he swallows, suddenly parched. "Don't you want me to—"

"The vibrator, Ro."

The nickname, combined with the firm tone, makes his cock make a mating dance against the zipper of his jeans. He places the toy in your outstretched hand, watches as you examine it with curious eyes.

You turn it over in your palm, studying it like it's a puzzle to solve. Your brow furrows slightly as you locate the power button, press it experimentally, and soon enough its low hum fills the space as the toy comes to life, vibrating gently in your hand.

"I've never used one before," you admit, and he already knew.

You told him that much before buying it.

Nonetheless, the idea that he gets to witness this first for you—it does something to him.

Makes him feel special in a way he has no right to feel.

"Let me help," he offers, voice strained. "I can show you how—"

"I think I can figure it out," you interrupt, but there's uncertainty in your eyes as you look at the different buttons, the various settings.

Fuck, you're adorable. Even spread-eagle on a table with a vibrator in your hand, there's something so endearing about your determination to figure this out on your own.

He watches, mesmerized, as you press another button. The vibration intensifies, making you jump slightly at the change. Your finger slips, pressing yet another button, and suddenly the toy is pulsing in a rhythm that has him imagining it pressed against you, imagining your reaction to that particular pattern.

He can't take it.

"Here," he says, reaching up, a bit desperate, a tad impatient. "May I?"

After a moment's hesitation, you nod, removing your heel from his forehead and allowing him to rise up on his knees. He takes the vibrator from you, quickly familiarizing himself with the controls.

"This button cycles through the patterns," he explains, demonstrating as the toy shifts from steady vibration to pulsing to waves. "And this one controls the intensity."

He presses it, the vibration becoming stronger under his thumb.

"Start low and work your way up."

He hands it back to you, then you glare at him and okay, he immediately settles back on his heels, waiting. Watching. Fucking aching to see what you do next.

You take the toy, reset it to the lowest steady vibration, and then—God help him—you bring it to your breast first. Circle your nipple with it, eyes fluttering closed at the sensation.

"Fuck," he breathes, the word barely audible over the hum of the vibrator. 

He shifts on his knees, trying to adjust himself without being too obvious about it. His jeans have become a torture device, constricting him painfully as he watches you explore.

The vibrator trails down your stomach, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He can see them form on your skin, can see the way your muscles tense in anticipation as the toy moves lower, lower—

And then it's there, pressed against your clit, and the sound you make—a soft, surprised gasp followed by a deeper moan—nearly ends him.

"Good?" he asks, voice wrecked.

You nod, eyes still closed, hips already starting to move against the vibration. "Good. Really good."

He leans forward instinctively, mouth watering at the sight of you pleasuring yourself. He wants to taste you, wants to feel the vibrations against his tongue as he licks around the toy.

Wants to be part of this moment in a way that's more than just watching.

But as he moves closer, your eyes snap open, fixing him with a look that stops him cold.

You extend your leg, the one that was dangling off the table, pressing the point of your stiletto against his chest this time.

"Just watch," you command, voice breathy but firm.

He blinks, sure he's misheard. "What?"

"I said watch." You adjust the vibrator slightly, finding a better angle that makes your breath hitch, toe of your shoe pressing more firmly against his sternum. "Don't touch. Just... watch me."

Is he dreaming? Having some kind of bizarre hallucination? There's no way you're asking him to just sit here while you get yourself off right in front of him.

No fucking way.

"You're joking," he says, but the steady look in your eyes tells him you're not. "Nix, come on. You can't expect me to—"

"I can," you interrupt, increasing the vibration intensity with a press of your thumb. The change makes you gasp, hips lifting slightly off the table. "And I do."

He blinks, eyebrows tugging upwards in a cross motion. "Do you want me to bust untouched? Is that it? Because that's cruel, even for you."

A smile curves your lips, mischievous and knowing. "Maybe I just want to see if you can behave for once."

"I behave," he protests, even as his eyes remain fixed on the vibrator, on the way it glides through your wetness, on how your thighs have started to tremble already.

On those fucking shoes that, for some inexplicable reason, are making this whole situation at least ten times hotter.

"Prove it," you challenge, and fuck—he's never been able to resist a challenge from you.

Never really been able to back down when you push him like this.

So he stays where he is, on his knees, hands fisted at his sides, watching as you explore the toy, as you find what feels good, as you experiment with different patterns and pressures. Your foot still rests against his chest, not pushing him away now, just... there.

A point of contact that feels both like ambrosia and agony.

It's torture. Beautiful, exquisite torture to be this close and not touch you. To smell your arousal and not taste it. To hear your moans growing louder and know he's not the direct cause.

But it's also—strangely, unexpectedly—one of the hottest things he's ever witnessed.

Because you're not performing for him. You're genuinely discovering what you like, what makes you feel good. And there's something incredibly intimate about being allowed to witness that, about being trusted enough to see you this vulnerable, this real.

"That's it," he encourages as your movements become more focused, as you settle into a rhythm with the vibrator that has your breathing turning shallow. "Just like that. You look so fucking good, Nix."

Your eyes meet his, heavy-lidded but alert, and for a moment, he can’t help but stare back.

Then you close your eyes again, lost in the sensation as the vibrator buzzes steadily against your clit. Your free hand comes up to your breast, pinching your nipple in time with the pulsations of the toy, and he groans at the sight. 

Your foot presses harder against his chest, whether intentionally or as an unconscious reaction to your growing pleasure, he doesn't know.

Doesn't care.

"Cruel," he mutters, because he needs to at least let you know. “You're fucking cruel, you know that?"

His eyes are fixed on your pussy like it's the only thing in the universe worth looking at. Maybe it is. The way you're working that vibrator against yourself, the little circular motions, the way your hips lift occasionally when you hit just the right spot—it's driving him fucking insane.

His dick is so hard it hurts at this point, and he thinks it's going to start a mutiny. He shifts his weight, trying to get some relief, but it only makes things worse. His forehead thumps against the corner of the table in frustrated surrender.

"God fucking hell," he groans, the wood cool against his skin. "Nix, I need to lick you. Please. Just—let me taste you."

You look down at him, eyes heavy-lidded but gleaming with amusement. Your stiletto traces a path down his chest, and when it reaches his stomach, you press slightly, the point digging into the muscle there. 

A warning. 

A tease

He's not sure which, but it makes his cock throb painfully either way.

"What was that?" you ask, lifting the vibrator just enough that he can see how wet you are, how your pussy glistens in the low light. "I didn't quite hear you."

Fucking tease. Fucking gorgeous, evil tease.

"I said I need to lick you," he repeats, louder this time, pride completely abandoned. "Let me put my mouth on you. Let me make you feel good."

You pretend to consider it, tilting your head like you're weighing your options. Meanwhile, he's about to combust from the inside out.

"I don't know," you muse, trailing the vibrator up to circle around your clit, making yourself gasp. "I'm doing pretty well on my own, don't you think?"

Your stiletto moves again, tracing along the inside of his thigh. He tenses, breath catching as it moves higher, closer to the straining bulge in his jeans.

“Phee,” he bites back a groan. "You're doing amazing. Fucking incredible. But I can make it better. You know I can."

"Hmm." You press the vibrator directly against your clit again, eyes fluttering closed for a moment before fixing back on him. "Maybe if you ask nicely."

Is this really happening? Are you really making him beg? His cock twitches at the thought, answering that question with an emphatic yes.

He swallows, throat dry.

"Please," he says, voice rough. "Please let me help."

The word lies suspended between you. 

Please. Such a simple word, but one he doesn't use often—not like this, not with this much raw need behind it.

Your eyes widen slightly, like you weren't expecting him to actually do it. To actually beg. But then a slow smile spreads across your face, and you nod.

"Since you asked so nicely," you say. "Go ahead."

He doesn't need to be told twice. He surges forward, hands gripping your thighs, spreading them wider as he buries his face against you.

The first swipe of his tongue makes you both moan—you from the sensation, him from finally, finally getting to taste you.

You taste amazing.

Like always.

Like something he could get addicted to if he's not careful.

"Fuck," he groans against you, the word vibrating against your sensitive flesh. "So fucking good."

He could honestly cum like this. Right now. Just from the taste of you on his tongue, from the way your thighs tense around his head, from the little gasps you make. 

He knows he's got blue balls at this point. Knows his cock is probably leaking precum into his boxers, making a mess he'll have to deal with later. But he doesn't really care.

Until you kind of make him care.

"Jerk off."

He freezes, tongue mid-lick.

Did he hear that right?

Looking up at you, genuinely confused, he asks, "What?"

Your answer is a knowing smile and a slight increase in pressure as the heel traces the outline of his cock through the denim. Not enough to hurt, just enough to make him incredibly aware of how hard he is.

"I want you to get yourself off while you eat me out, Ro."

Jesus Christ.

When did you get so fucking bossy? And why is it turning him on so much?

"Yeah," he says, almost to himself, fumbling with his zipper. "Yeah, okay, absolutely I can do that."

His hands shake slightly as he undoes his jeans, shoving them and his boxers down just enough to free his cock. It springs up against his stomach, hard and flushed and so sensitive that even the brush of air against it makes him hiss.

"Shit," he warns, wrapping a hand around himself, already knowing this isn't going to last long. "Just a heads up, but this might be embarrassingly short."

You laugh, the sound turning into a gasp as he dives back in. Your leg dangles over his shoulder now, heel pressing slightly against his back.

"That's okay," you manage to say between breaths. "I'm pretty close too."

Thank fuck for that. Because the moment his hand starts moving on his cock, he knows he's on borrowed time.

The vibrator hasn't stopped. That's the thing that's driving him absolutely fucking insane. You've got it pressed right against your clit, humming on its lowest setting while he licks at your lips, tasting every inch of you except the one spot you're keeping for yourself.

It's maddening.

It's genius.

It's the hottest thing he's ever experienced.

His tongue traces your entrance, dipping just slightly inside before retreating to lick broad strokes along your folds. He's taking his time despite his own desperation, despite the way his hand is working his cock at a steady, measured pace.

Because he wants this to last, wants to savor the privilege of having his face between your thighs while you take your pleasure so confidently.

"More," you breathe above him, and he's not sure if you're talking to him or yourself.

But then your fingers move, pressing a button on the vibrator, and the hum intensifies. The sound changes pitch, grows deeper, more insistent. Your hips jerk in response, a gasp falling from your lips that sends blood rushing to his already throbbing cock.

His fist tightens instinctively, pace quickening to match the vibrator's new rhythm. It's like his body is syncing with the toy, with your pleasure, his own arousal tied directly to yours.

"Fuck, Nix," he groans against you, the words muffled but still audible. "You're so fucking wet. So fuckin’ good, I swear—I swear I could do this for hours.”

“But you won’t last hours,” you tease, rolling your hips against his face. “Will you?”

He shakes his head, not even bothering to deny it. Not when his balls are already drawing up tight, not when each stroke of his hand brings him closer to the edge.

“Nngh—no,” he admits, the word punctuated by a particularly firm stroke that has his hips bucking into his fist. “Not gonna—ah—not gonna last long at all.”

Because the truth is, he’s dizzy with it—your taste, your scent, the sounds you're making above him. It's overwhelming in the best possible way, a sensory overload that makes his cock pulse in his grip, precome slicking the way as his fist moves faster, more urgently.

You shift the vibrator slightly, angling it for better contact, and your free hand finds his hair. Fingers tangle in the strands, not quite pulling but definitely directing, holding him exactly where you want him.

"Inside," you command, voice breathless but clear. "I want your tongue inside me."

He doesn't hesitate. Doesn't even think. Just obeys, tongue pushing past your entrance, delving into the wet heat of you while the vibrator continues its relentless assault on your clit.

The angle is awkward, his neck craned to accommodate both the toy and his mouth, but he doesn't care.

Can't care about anything beyond the way you clench around his tongue, the way your thighs tremble against his cheeks, the way your grip tightens in his hair.

His cock throbs in his hand, so sensitive now that each stroke sends sparks shooting up his spine, and fuck he's close—so fucking close—but he's determined to make you come first. Wants to feel you pulsing around his tongue, wants to experience every tremor of your orgasm firsthand.

Above him, your breathing has grown ragged; little gasps and moans that tell him you're getting close too.

"Don't stop," you gasp, basically riding his face at this point. "God, don't stop."

As if he would.

As if he could tear himself away from this even if the building were on fire.

Your thighs start to shake in earnest now, little tremors that grow stronger by the second. The hand in his hair clenches, your stiletto digs into his back, the pressure increasing as your body tenses, and now he just knows; knows how close you are to the edge.

It makes his strokes faster, more desperate.

“Shit,” he gasps, pulling back for air. “Fuck, I’m gonna—”

“Don’t stop,” you command, lost in a whine. “Don’t you dare stop.”

And he feels it the moment you start to come—the way your inner walls flutter around his tongue, the sudden flood of wetness, the sharp cry that tears from your throat. His name, maybe. Or just a sound of pure pleasure. He's too far gone to tell the difference.

But it doesn't matter. What matters is that you're coming on his tongue, coming while he tastes you, while the vibrator buzzes against your clit, while his cock throbs in his hand, so close to his own release that he can feel it building at the base of his spine.

He pushes his tongue deeper, wanting to feel every pulse, every contraction of your orgasm. The vibrator keeps buzzing, prolonging the sensation, pushing you higher and higher until your hand finally yanks at his hair, pulling him back when it becomes too much.

"Fuck," you gasp, voice wrecked, vibrator still humming in your grip though you've pulled it away from your oversensitive clit. "Fuck, Ro."

The sound of his nickname—that stupid nickname you’ve given him—paired with the sight of you flushed and trembling from an orgasm he helped create, is what does it. What finally pushes him over the edge.

His release hits him then, stealing his breath as his cock pulses in his hand, spilling onto the hardwood floor in hot spurts that seem to go on forever.

He groans against your thigh, face pressed into the soft skin there as his hips jerk, chasing the last waves of pleasure.

“Ffff—shit,” he slurs as he strokes himself through the aftershocks. “Holy sssh—oh—fuck… Ahhh.”

For a moment, there's nothing but the sound of breathing, harsh and uneven. The vibrator still hums softly, forgotten in your hand until you fumble for the off button, plunging them into sudden silence.

Jungkook rests his forehead against your thigh, trying to catch his breath, trying to remember how to form coherent thoughts.

His hand is sticky, his knees ache from the hardwood floor, his back tingles from the trail your heel left across it, and he’s pretty sure he’ll never be able to look at the entryway table the same way again.

But fuck if it wasn't worth it.

He pulls back, gasping for breath, his hand still loosely gripping his spent cock. He probably looks a mess—hair wild from your hands, face shiny with your wetness, expression dazed and satisfied.

"Christ," he breathes, looking up at you with something close to awe.

"Yeah," you agree, equally breathless.

A moment passes where you just look at each other, both trying to process what just happened. Then, because he's Jungkook and he can't help himself, he grins.

"So," he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his clean hand. "I guess you like the vibrator I picked, huh?"

You roll your eyes, but there's no real annoyance there. Just a kind of fond exasperation that makes his chest feel weird and tight.

"It's alright," you say, casual as anything, like you weren't just having what looked like the most intense orgasm of your life. "Could've been better."

He laughs, full and genuine. "Liar."

Your lips twitch, fighting a smile. "Maybe."

He sits back on his heels, suddenly aware of the mess he's made on the floor. "We should, uh, probably clean up before Yoongi gets home."

You nod, both legs dangling off the table. “Wouldn’t want to scandalize him.”

"He's seen worse," Jungkook says without thinking, then flinches. "I mean—not with me. Just, you know, in general. Living with roommates and all."

You give him a look that's equal parts amusement and skepticism. "Right."

Awkward silence falls as the reality of what just happened settles in, because this? Yeah, it was sex. But this time you took control, you made him beg, you saw him at his most desperate and needy.

And he... liked it. More than he probably should have.

"So," he says, tucking himself back into his jeans with as much dignity as possible. "That was fun."

You snort. "Such a way with words, Ro."

"What can I say? I'm a poet."

He gathers the dress from the floor and gives it to you. You throw the dress at his head, but you're laughing, and he thinks—not for the first time—that he likes that sound. Likes being the cause of it.

He doesn’t analyze it further than needs to be.

He catches the dress, handing it back to you with exaggerated chivalry. "Your garment, m'lady."

"You're an idiot," you say, but there's no bite to it. Just that weird, fond tone that makes his stomach do strange things.

Fully on both legs now, he places both his arms between your spread thighs, his face hovering close to yours, tilting to the side.

"Yeah," he agrees, because sometimes the simplest truth is the easiest to admit. "But I'm an idiot who makes you cum really fucking hard, so..."

And there it is—that flash in your eyes, that hint of heat that never seems to fully dissipate between you two. 

"Don't get cocky," you warn.

Too late, he thinks. Way too late for that.

He stands there with the taste of you still on his lips and he can't help but feel satisfied.

Good.

“Does this mean we’re not fighting anymore?”

You laugh, the sound bright and genuine in the quiet room. “I guess not.”

“Good. Because that was a fucking stupid fight anyway.”

“It was,” you agree. “But the makeup sex was worth it.”

“Always is with us.”

And that’s the truth of it, isn’t it? No matter how much you argue, no matter how much you drive each other crazy, this thing between you—this chemistry, this connection—always brings you back together. 

No strings attached, just pure, perfect understanding of what the other needs.

It’s not love. It’s not even like, most days. But it’s something. 

Something that works for both of you.

And then, Jungkook feels your forehead press against his shoulder, which catches him off guard. Not because it’s heavy or anything—it’s not—but because it’s you.

You, who usually keeps your distance unless you're actively trying to rile him up. You, who just made him beg on his knees like some desperate idiot a few minutes ago.

And now you’re here, leaning into him like this is normal. Like this is fine.

It’s... nice. He hates that it’s nice.

His lips twitch upward despite himself, a soft smile breaking through the lingering haze of post-orgasmic bliss. His hand moves before he can think better of it, sliding up your back in a slow, deliberate stroke. His palm presses lightly between your shoulder blades, fingers splaying out as he rubs soothing circles into your skin.

Your back is warm under his touch—soft in places, firm in others—and he thinks about how strange it is that he knows what you feel like now. Not just your skin but the way you move under his hands, the way your muscles tense and relax depending on what he’s doing to you. 

It’s intimate in a way that makes something uncomfortable stir in his chest if he lingers on it too long.

So he doesn’t linger.

“Cleanup?” he asks, voice low and rough from everything that just happened.

You grunt. Not a word, not even a real sound—just a grunt. Like the idea of moving is physically painful to you right now.

He chuckles softly, the sound vibrating through both of you. 

“Alright,” he says, hand still on your back as if that’s going to keep you from sliding off the table and face-planting onto the floor. “Let me get some wipes.”

Another grunt. This one sounds more annoyed than tired, but he can’t tell for sure because your face is still buried against his shoulder.

“Don’t tell me…” He pauses for dramatic effect because he knows how much you hate when he does that. “You’re a cuddlebug?”

That gets a reaction. Your head snaps up so fast he almost flinches, and then you’re shoving at his chest with both hands like you’re trying to push him off the planet.

“Fuck you,” you mutter, but there’s no real heat behind it. Your hands stay on his chest for a second longer than necessary before falling back to your sides.

He snorts, stepping back and giving you space because even though he likes teasing you (maybe too much), he knows when to quit.

Most of the time, anyway.

“Stay there,” he says over his shoulder as he heads toward his room. “Don’t move.”

You don’t respond this time—not even a grunt—but when he glances back, you’re still perched on the edge of the table looking thoroughly unimpressed with life.

Very you, indeed.

Then he's stepping into his bedroom, and of course, it is dark when he steps inside, the only light coming from the hallway spilling in behind him.

He grabs the container of wet wipes from his nightstand (don’t ask why they’re there; that’s none of anyone’s business) and heads back out before his brain can start overthinking anything.

When he returns to the entryway, you haven’t moved an inch. You’re still sitting there with both legs dangling off the table.

And for a moment, he can’t help but think the sight is oddly cute.

“Alright,” he says again as if this is some kind of official business meeting instead of… whatever this is. “Let’s get this over with.”

He crouches down first, wiping at the floor where his cum has left an embarrassing mess that Yoongi would absolutely kill him for if he saw it later. The hardwood glistens faintly under the light as he scrubs at it with more force than necessary—partly because it needs to be cleaned properly and partly because maybe if he focuses hard enough on this task, he won’t think about how close your legs are or how good you smelled earlier or how fucking soft your skin felt under his hands.

When he's done with that part (and only when he's sure it's spotless), he straightens up and turns toward you.

Your eyes are on him—soft but unreadable—and it makes something twist in his stomach that has nothing to do with hunger or exhaustion or anything else logical.

“What?” he asks because apparently silence makes him nervous now.

You shake your head slightly, lips curving into something that might be a smile if it weren’t so small and fleeting.

 “Nothing.”

He doesn’t believe you—not for a second—but decides not to push it because pushing things with you in this state never ends well for him.

Instead, he steps closer until he's standing between your legs again and tilts his head toward yours like he's trying to figure out what you're thinking without actually asking outright.

"Hold still," he murmurs after a beat of hesitation that's barely noticeable but feels significant anyway.

The wipe is cool against your skin as he starts cleaning you up—gentle but thorough in a way that surprises even himself. Your eyes stay on him the whole time—watchful but not wary—and it makes him feel weirdly self-conscious even though there’s no reason for it.

When he's finished (and only when he's sure you're clean), he tosses the used wipe into the trash can by the door without looking away from you entirely.

"Sleep?" he asks after another moment of silence stretches between you like an elastic band ready to snap at any second now if someone doesn’t say something soon enough.

“Yeah.” You murmur. “Your bed.”

Jungkook blinks at you like he’s not sure he heard right. 

Not because it’s weird—okay, maybe it’s a little weird—but because you said it so casually. Like it’s the most normal thing in the world to ask to sleep in his bed after everything that just happened.  

He doesn’t know what to say at first. He’s not used to this part—the after part. Usually, there isn’t an after part. It’s just sex, then goodbye, then see you whenever.

But this? This feels different in a way he can’t quite put his finger on, and it makes his brain stutter for a second before he finally manages to respond.  

“Uh… yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sure.”  

You don’t say anything else, just lift your arms slightly like you’re expecting him to do something.

He stares at you for a moment, confused, until it clicks.  

“Oh, come on,” he mutters, rolling his eyes but already stepping closer. “You’re not serious.”  

You just raise an eyebrow at him, and yep—you’re serious.  

“Lazy ass,” he grumbles under his breath as he bends down to scoop you up.  

Your arms loop around his neck automatically, and your legs wrap around his waist like this is something you do all the time instead of… well, never. He tries not to think about how natural it feels or how warm you are against him or how your breath brushes against his collarbone when you settle into his hold.  

It’s fine. Totally fine. This is just… practical. 

Yeah. 

Practical.  

He carries you with ease because let’s be real—he could probably bench press you if he wanted to—and nudges his bedroom door open with his foot. 

“Alright,” he says as he approaches the bed and leans forward slightly to deposit you onto the mattress. “Here we go.”  

But instead of letting go like a normal person, you cling tighter for half a second before finally releasing him with a grunt that sounds suspiciously like reluctance. He doesn’t comment on it because honestly? He doesn’t trust himself not to make it weird if he does.  

You flop onto your back with all the grace of a drunk cat and immediately start wiggling around like you’re trying to make yourself comfortable in record time. Jungkook just stands there for a moment, watching you with an expression he doesn't even know how to describe.

“You good?” he asks once you’ve finally stopped moving and are lying still with your eyes closed like this is your bed and not his.

“Mmhm,” you hum without opening your eyes.

He shakes his head but doesn’t bother arguing because what’s the point? 

Then he’s going to lay down too, but you sprawl onto his bed like you’re claiming it for yourself, arms and legs stretched out in every direction like some kind of human starfish. 

Jungkook snorts, standing at the side of the bed with his hands on his hips like a disappointed parent. 

“Move,” he says, nudging at your foot with his knee. “I want to sleep too.”  

You crack one eye open, squinting at him.

“Then sleep,” you mumble, voice muffled by the pillow your face is half-buried in.  

“I can’t sleep,” he says, gesturing dramatically at your starfish pose. “Not unless you move your limbs out of my personal space.”  

You grunt something unintelligible but make no effort to move.  

He sighs—long and exaggerated—before climbing onto the bed anyway, shoving at your leg until you reluctantly curl up enough to give him room.

He flops down beside you with all the grace of someone who’s been awake for far too long and immediately starts adjusting himself into what he considers optimal sleeping position.  

Except there’s one problem: his arm.  

It’s stuck under him, bent awkwardly against his side instead of stretched out under the pillow where it belongs. He tries shifting around to fix it but quickly realizes there’s no way to do that without encroaching on your territory.  

“Hey,” he says, nudging at your side with his foot now.  

“What?” you snap, voice sharp despite how tired you sound.  

“Let me extend my arm under the pillow.”  

“No.”  

“What do you mean no?”  

“I mean no,” you repeat stubbornly, turning your head just enough to glare at him over your shoulder. “Figure it out without bothering me.”  

He stares at you for a second like he can’t believe what he’s hearing before deciding that negotiation is clearly not going to work here. 

So instead, he does what any reasonable person would do in this situation: he forcefully shoves his arm under your neck like it belongs there.

You jerk upright immediately, twisting around to face him with wide eyes and an expression that screams 'what the actual fuck'.  

“Bro,” you say, voice incredulous as you try—and fail—to push his arm away. “Get off me.”  

“Bro,” he says simply, already settling back down like this is perfectly normal behavior between roommates who occasionally hook up but definitely aren’t friends yet (or whatever this is). “You’re in my bed. Shut up and act like a plushie or something.”  

“A plushie?” You sound so offended that he almost laughs but manages to hold it back because laughing right now would probably get him kicked out of his own bed.  

“Yes,” he says firmly, pulling the blanket over both of you with one hand while keeping his other arm firmly in place under your neck. “A plushie.”  

You open your mouth to argue—because of course you do—but he shuts it down with a loud, drawn-out “SSSSHHHHH” that’s so over-the-top, so him, it stops you cold.

“Sleep,” he adds a second later, voice low, eyes already shut like the matter’s settled and he’s the authority on bedtime now.

The room stills. One of those dumb, drawn-out silences where neither of you wants to move first. Like shifting even an inch might make it real. Might make it weird.

But then you sigh. Loud. Dramatic. Flopping back down beside him like you’ve just made the ultimate sacrifice.

“Fine,” you mutter, sharp as ever, head hitting the pillow with a thud. “But if I wake up with a crick in my neck because of this stupid arm thing—”

“You won’t,” he says, already drifting, smug and certain and way too casual for someone who just turned a routine argument into a full-body tangle.

You mumble something under your breath—probably rude, definitely deserved—and go quiet.

And for a second, he just lies there. Listening to your breathing even out. Feeling the slight pull of your body next to his.

The ridiculousness of the situation should hit harder than it does.

But it doesn’t. 

It actually feels…weirdly good.

Not in the usual way. Not in the easiest way.

Just—solid. Like he hasn’t fucked it up yet.

Which is a surprise, considering he really thought he had. 

After Tuesday

After the whole Jason thing—the fight that was never really about Jason. The way the guy had looked like every goddamn red flag Jungkook had ever ignored. Too neat, too careful, too condescending behind a smile that felt fake even from a hallway away.

He’d projected. Hard. Got scared on your behalf. Angry in that twitchy, irrational way he hates. Like he couldn’t stand the thought of you falling into something he knew could break you. 

But that wasn’t fair. Wasn’t his choice. You’re not fragile. You’re you. You can make your own calls without his fears bleeding into them.

And he should know better by now. Should’ve remembered that you’ve survived things he doesn’t even ask about.

Instead, he snapped. Like he always does when things get too close. Like he’s got some built-in timer that detonates as soon as someone sees more than they’re supposed to.

So yeah. He’d assumed it was done. That he’d pushed too hard, too fast—again.

That whatever fragile thing had been building between you would crack right down the middle, just like every other almost-connection he’s tried to hold onto.

But then… you’d talked. Actually talked. 

And—somehow—you’d listened.

Not just tolerated him. Heard him. 

And tonight, he thinks—for the first time in a long, long time—he feels…comfortable. With a woman. With you.

And yeah, okay—he kind of likes that.

It’s not some life-changing moment. Not some movie scene epiphany.

Just this quiet flicker of maybe. Of could be.

Maybe he can have this. A woman beside him. No pressure. No angle. No romantic feelings. No attachments, no entanglements. Not drama, not hurt.

Just a dumb, chaotic almost-friendship built on late-night arguments and questionable sleep arrangements.

And fuck—he’s kind of proud of that.

So he lets his eyes fall shut. Lets the warmth settle. Lets the thought linger.

Not friendship. Not yet.

But maybe.

Chapter 19: redefining stances

Summary:

"You have always put people in different categories: friends, dating and fucking. And the idea of someone redefining that makes your chest twist inwardly, because that's just not how it works. Never has."

Notes:

WHEEEEEEW. okay. hi. hello. greetings. blessings upon your crops.

So first of all, I must humbly report that the new goal system (Tumblr and Wattpad having to align like twin stars) is working beautifully. It gave me a luxurious (dare I say scandalous) nine-day window to edit, tweak, breathe, and cry. And I only did one of those things on the floor (take a wild guess). I’m keeping it for now, besties. Let’s see if it continues to save me from myself.

Now. This chapter. Yeah. She’s 15k. And I would say “I don’t know how that happened,” but I would be lying through my teeth. Ask Koopsy. The BJ scene alone was 3k at one point. And then I had time. And we all know what happens when I have time. I rewrote it. And suddenly it’s eight. I regret nothing. It’s unhinged but like… in a deliciously purposeful way.

I especially loved dragging some vulnerability out of our girl—Y/N’s still that stubborn “keep it all inside or die” kind of girlie, but you’ll see her starting to leak, emotionally. And the way Jungkook isn’t being mocking when she cracks a little? When she masks her insecurity and he just sees her? HELLO. I giggled. I kicked my feet. I twirled my hair.

Also?? This chapter really digs into how fundamentally opposite they are when it comes to emotional frameworks. Like, Y/N hears “friendship” and sees expectations, accountability, people expecting her to care back. Hard pass. Meanwhile Jungkook is like “let’s label this so we can safely not fall.” LMAO. It’s giving defensive strategies 101. It’s giving textbook avoidant-anxious overlap. It’s giving both of you need therapy immediately and maybe a hug.

BUT. You’ll also see a little growth. A spark. A whisper of a maybe. She doesn’t fully shut down. She doesn’t say “no.” She’s simmering. And as someone with trauma? That simmer is progress. That’s real. That’s human. That’s our girl doing her best with a backpack full of emotional grenades.

Anyway. This is your 4x VERY slow emotional slow burn reminder. If you’re here hoping they’ll acknowledge feelings soon—first of all, who are you? Second of all, no. Third of all, this is not a customer service inbox. You don’t get to file complaints. You get to suffer. That’s the deal.

Enjoy the chapter, scream in my inbox, or join the crying circle on Tumblr where the rest of Kiki Nation gathers to chant “girl what the hell” in unison.

Welcome if you're new. Godspeed if you’ve been here.

Kiki out.

Chapter Text

Pancakes smell like rain and roses and a home you can't go back to.

The smell is soft at first, curling around the edges of your consciousness as you blink against the morning light filtering through the blinds. Warm and familiar, it drags you back—not to this kitchen, not to this apartment, but somewhere far away. Somewhere softer. Somewhere safer.

Pancakes always smelled like home. Like rainy mornings where the sky was a patchwork of grays and blues, stitched together by streaks of silver rain that blurred the world outside the window. Mom would hum as she worked, her voice low and steady, blending with the sound of batter hitting the pan and the hiss of butter melting into golden pools.

She never measured anything—not really. Just a spoonful here, a dash there, warm milk poured straight from the carton into the bowl without hesitation. She’d laugh when Dad complained about her ‘eyeball method,’ but he never said no to her pancakes. Not once.

The kitchen always smelled alive on those mornings—like butter and sugar and coffee mingling in the air, weaving through the faint floral scent of the potted roses Mom kept near the window. She swore they dulled the smell of food, but they never did. The pancakes always won, their buttery sweetness overpowering everything else until it felt like you could taste them just by breathing.

You loved those mornings. Loved how they made the house feel lived in for once—like more than just walls and furniture and people passing each other on their way to somewhere else. On rainy days, it felt like home. Like something worth staying for.

Maybe that’s why pancakes were your favorite. Not because of how they tasted (though they were always perfect—soft and fluffy with just enough sweetness to make you grin through a mouthful), but because of what they meant. Because they were more than breakfast; they were a memory stitched together with rain and roses and laughter that echoed long after the plates were cleared.

You close your eyes now, letting the smell wash over you like a wave, pulling you under until all you can think about is that kitchen—the one with the chipped tiles and mismatched chairs where Mom would stand with batter-stained hands and Dad would sip his coffee too loudly just to annoy her.

And for a moment—for one fleeting second—you’re there again.

Home.

The problem with perfect memories is they're usually lies.

And then it's gone.

The mirage of home evaporates like morning dew on grass, leaving behind the acrid aftertaste of something that never really existed. Not like that. Not with the softness your mind painted over the jagged edges.

Those pancake mornings? They always came with conditions.

‘Straight A's this semester, honey? Pancakes on Sunday!’

‘Piano recital went well? Let's celebrate with breakfast tomorrow.’

‘SAT prep finished early? I'll make your favorite in the morning.’

Always a reward. Always a transaction. No matter how much vanilla extract Mom added to the batter, you could still taste the expectation underneath—bitter and metallic, like pennies on your tongue.

Makes sense why you can't enjoy things without earning them first. Why everything has to be deserved.

The scent wafting through the apartment shifts now. No longer just butter and sugar and rain-soaked roses, but something sharper. Something that stings the back of your throat and makes your stomach twist.

Guilt.

Because who the fuck resents pancakes? Who looks at a mother standing over a hot stove, humming while she makes your favorite breakfast, and thinks: this isn't enough?

You do, apparently.

You who had everything—the nice house, the private school, the parents who ‘just wanted what was best.’ The ungrateful daughter who still squirmed under their touch, who counted down the days until college like a prisoner marking time.

You don't have the right to feel trapped by love. You know that.

People would kill for what you had. For parents who showed up. For a home without holes in the walls. For pancakes on Sunday mornings.

So entitled. So privileged.

The voice in your head sounds like Mom when she's disappointed—soft and somehow, sharp at its core. She never raised her voice. 

Never had to. 

Just that quiet, ‘I expected better from you,’ that cut deeper than any scream.

Your teeth grind together, jaw clenching so hard it aches. 

There's a pressure building behind your eyes, hot and insistent, but you refuse to let it out. 

Not over fucking pancakes.

Not over the way Dad would look at your report card before he looked at you. 

Not over the way Mom rescheduled your life without asking, because ‘Yale doesn't accept students who waste time on sketching.’

Not over the way they both pretended your opinion was valued while systematically stripping away every choice that mattered.

‘We're just guiding you. We're just helping. We're just doing what parents are supposed to do.’

The smell of pancakes is suffocating now. Cloying. Sweet in a way that coats your tongue and makes you want to scrape it off.

And still, there's that whisper, that insidious little thought that's been following you since you left: Maybe if you'd been better—more grateful, more deserving—it wouldn't have felt like a cage.

Because that's the real fucked-up part, isn't it? You miss them. Miss the security of those Sunday mornings. Miss knowing exactly what was expected, even as you chafed against it.

Miss feeling like someone cared enough to map out your entire life, even if they never bothered asking which direction you wanted to go.

The guilt surges again, stronger. 

What kind of monster resents safety? What kind of daughter hates being loved?

The kind who runs away to New York and still wakes up in the middle of the night, heart racing, thinking she's late for a lesson she never wanted to take.

The kind who changed her major three times before settling on English, just because it was the one subject Dad thought was ‘impractical.’

The kind who buys her own groceries and pays her own rent and still can't shake the feeling that she's doing everything wrong. That somewhere, someone is keeping score, and you're failing.

The kind who smells pancakes and wants to cry.

Not because you miss home.

But because part of you is afraid it's following you here, to the one place that was supposed to be yours. Just yours. With no expectations attached.

The smell is coming from the kitchen. Someone is making pancakes in your kitchen.

And you don't know whether to smile or scream.

Your fingers clutch your phone, because the pressure building in your chest has to be channeled somewhere. 

The numbers glare back at you, accusatory.

8:00

8:00

8:00

Panic bubbles out of you.

Late. You're late. You're always fucking late. Dad's voice in your head, that disappointed sigh. ‘Time management reflects character, dear.’

You bolt upright, heart hammering against your ribs, and then—

Nothing is right.

The sheets aren't yours. Too dark, too soft. The wall is wrong—black, with one accent wall in deep red that you've definitely never painted. There's a carpet beneath your feet when you swing your legs over the edge. Your water bottle isn't where it should be. Your clothes aren't where you left them, you’re naked.

This isn't your room.

This is Jungkook's room.

Jungkook's bed.

And suddenly last night comes rushing back in fragments that make your skin heat up.

Not the usual—not the snarky comments across the kitchen table or the silent treatment when you're pissed at each other. Not the avoidance of the last four days where you both pretended the other didn't exist.

No, last night was... talking. Just talking. Both of you just... existing in the same space without trying to burn it down.

And then—

Jesus Christ.

You press your palms against your eyes, but that doesn't stop the memory. Him between your thighs, making those sounds like he was the one getting pleasure from it. The way he looked up at you, eyes almost black in the low light. How he touched himself while tasting you, like he couldn't help it.

And then after, when you both should've retreated to separate corners to lick your wounds and rebuild your walls—you didn't. You fucking climbed into his bed. Told him to stay. Like it was nothing. Like it was normal.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

You can't even blame alcohol. Two glasses of wine over the entire evening doesn't equal drunk. Doesn't equal stupid decisions. Doesn't equal... whatever the hell last night was.

So what was it?

You drag your hands down your face, feeling the heat in your cheeks. 

Are you really that easy to disarm? One decent conversation, one night where he's not being a complete ass, and suddenly you're sleeping in his bed like some kind of...

Like what? Not a girlfriend. Not a friend with benefits, because friends actually like each other. 

Just... a girl who got confused. Who let her guard down. Who maybe wanted, just for a night, to not fight everything and everyone.

Including yourself.

You grab one of Jungkook’s discarded black T-shirts (oversized ones, because he thinks he’s cool or something) and some clean boxers to entertain your thoughts. 

But it’s no use.

Your fingers dig into your scalp, tugging at your hair. You want to bang your head against the wall until these thoughts scatter, but then you remember—again—that it's not your wall. It's his. This entire space belongs to him, and you're the intruder here.

Except he didn't say no, did he? When you suggested, he didn't really hesitate. Much. Just huffed, carried you and then plopped right next to you. Like maybe he wanted it too.

And for one brief, stupid moment last night, curled up in sheets that still smelled like him, you thought… maybe this could work.

Maybe you could actually be friends.

Real friends.

The kind who talk about shit that matters. Who know things about each other that have nothing to do with sex or power plays. The kind who don’t pretend silence is neutrality and eye contact is war.

But friends means caring. And caring while fucking is a road that leads straight to complication city, population: you, crying on the bathroom floor at 3 AM wondering why you weren't enough.

Fucking is one thing. Dating is another.

Being friends? That’s a whole different monster.

And you’re not naïve enough to believe people can safely be all three at once—not without bleeding somewhere.

Sure, people who date usually start as friends. And yes, most people who date also fuck.

But you?

You don’t date. You detonate.

And Jungkook? He’s got matchsticks for fingers and a mouth that knows exactly where your fault lines are.

So, no. He doesn’t get to be all three. Doesn’t get to orbit your life from multiple angles. Doesn’t get to slip into your day like heat and leave like regret.

He’s not dating material.

But he is fuckable. Dangerously, addictively, ruin-your-life fuckable.

So that’s where he stays. Logically.

You check your phone again. Still 8:00 AM. But it’s Saturday, which means—

Your new job. Barnes & Noble. 10:00 AM.

The panic recedes, leaving behind a hollow sort of relief. 

You're not late. You have time. Two whole hours to figure out how to look Jungkook in the eye without thinking about his mouth between your legs or the way his voice sounded when he talked about his ex or how he looked when he seemed actually, genuinely concerned.

Two hours to rebuild all those walls that somehow, without you noticing, started to crumble.

You're not sure it's enough time.

The heel of your palms dig into your eyes as you let out a sigh that feels like it's been trapped in your chest for days. 

Fucking pancakes. The whole place reeks of them, sweet and buttery and—

Pain slices through you, vicious and unexpected.

"Fuck—" 

Your body curls in on itself automatically, a reflex you can't control. It feels like someone's taken a rusty knife to your insides and decided to twist. Your hand flies to your lower abdomen, pressing against it like that'll somehow help. Like you can hold yourself together through sheer force of will.

The IUD. Has to be.

It's been nagging at you for days now. Little pinpricks, the occasional twinge that made you wince but was easy enough to ignore. 

But this? This is something else entirely. This is your body throwing a full-scale revolt.

You sink back onto Jungkook's bed, chest doubling over toward your knees. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Just like Mom taught you, back when panic attacks would hit in the middle of the night before big tests. Back when your chest would get tight and the world would spin and everything felt like too much.

‘In through your nose. Hold for four. Out through your mouth.’

‘Good girl. That's my good, brave girl.’

The memory of her voice is so clear it's almost like she's here, sitting next to you on this bed that isn't yours, in this room that smells like someone else. Guiding you through the pain like she always did. Always so calm. Always so sure.

Even when you hated her methods, you never doubted she knew what she was doing.

The pain ebbs, receding like a tide that's bound to come back. It leaves you empty and oddly fragile, staring at the dark gray carpet between your bare feet. The urge to slide back under Jungkook's covers is almost overwhelming. To just hide there until the world feels less overwhelming.

Something soft and warm brushes against your ankle.

Griffin looks up at you with those unblinking amber eyes, his tail a question mark behind him. He makes that little chirping sound that's not quite a meow, more like he's asking if you're okay in the only language he knows.

"Hey, buddy," you murmur, reaching down to scratch under his chin where he likes it best.

He leans into your touch, purring loudly enough that you can feel the vibration through your fingertips. 

Such a simple thing. Touch and response. Need and fulfillment. No conditions, no expectations. Just connection.

It makes your throat feel tight in a way that has nothing to do with pain.

Griffin bumps his head against your palm, demanding more attention. Typical. Exactly like his owner—always taking more than he's given.

The thought makes you snort softly. 

You stand, slower this time, wary of another attack from your rebellious reproductive system—yet nothing happens. Small mercies.

When you open Jungkook's door, the smell of pancakes hits you like a wall. Rich and sweet and somehow wrong. Not like home. Not quite. Different ingredients, different hands.

And there he is. In a fucking Sonic the Hedgehog T-shirt and matching pajama pants. Hair a mess, like he styled it with a fork and an air fryer. Flipping pancakes like he’s got his life together.

Standing in the kitchen with his back to you, shoulders moving slightly in time to whatever's playing through those expensive headphones. Completely in his own world. Completely unaware that you've been having an internal crisis in his bed for the past twenty minutes.

Completely, infuriatingly normal. Like last night changed nothing.

Maybe it didn't. For him. 

Maybe it didn’t. For you.

Or maybe it did. 

You sigh, dragging yourself toward the kitchen because someone needs to make sure he doesn't burn the whole fucking place down. The security deposit is half yours, after all.

Jungkook doesn’t show any sort of acknowledgement, headphones clamped over his ears, head bobbing so violently you're genuinely concerned it might detach from his neck. 

Like his brain doesn't have enough problems already without the potential concussion.

Now that you're closer, you can actually hear him—not just humming, but full-on rapping? along. 

Or trying to. 

The tinny leak from his headphones gives you just enough to recognize that god-awful song that's been all over TikTok lately. 

Gang Baby, NLE Choppa.

Of course that's what this idiot listens to while making breakfast.

He spots you in his periphery and doesn't miss a beat, turning just enough to start mouthing the lyrics directly at you. His eyebrows do this ridiculous waggle when he gets to the part about let me B-A-N-G and let me fuck some.

You curl your lip in disgust, which only makes him snort and rap more enthusiastically.

"Real classy, Rogue. Nothing says 'good morning' like misogynistic garbage at—" you check your phone, "—8:12 AM." 

He pulls one side of his headphones away from his ear. 

"Sorry, what? Couldn't hear you over this absolute banger."

"I said," you position yourself next to him at the counter, peering at whatever he's mixing in that bowl, "you have the musical taste of a horny fourteen-year-old who just discovered his dad's Playboy collection."

"Hey, don't hate. NLE Choppa is a lyrical genius."

"Oh yeah? What's next on your sophisticated playlist? 'Me So Horny'? Maybe some 'My Neck, My Back'? Real breakfast ambiance."

"Those are classics," he grins, completely unashamed. "But I reserve those for special occasions. Seduction purposes only."

"Has that ever actually worked on anyone with more than two brain cells?"

"You tell me, Nix." His voice drops half an octave, eyes flicking down to your lips for just a second before he turns back to his bowl. 

You make an incredulous sound. 

“What the fuck are you making, anyway?"

"Protein pancakes, babyyyy!" He drags out the word, lifting the spatula like it's a trophy.

Your face must show exactly how you feel about that because he laughs.

"What? Gotta maintain these gains." 

The fucking idiot actually flexes then, one arm curling up while he continues to stir with the other.

You swat at him, connecting with his bicep. 

Firm. Solid. Warm

You pull your hand back like you've been burned.

"God, you're so fucking stupid."

"Stupid hot, maybe."

You ignore that, moving toward the coffee maker. The one thing in this apartment worth waking up for.

"Ah ah," he tsks, reaching behind him. "Already made you some."

You pause, watching as he passes a mug over to you. 

Your mug. The dark blue one with the chip on the handle that somehow ended up being yours even though you can't remember buying it. Steam curls from it, carrying the rich scent of coffee—strong, with just a hint of hazelnut. 

Exactly how you like it.

You bite the inside of your cheek, wrapping your fingers around the warm ceramic. 

“Thanks," you mutter, the word almost painful to push out.

"So," he says, pouring batter onto the griddle, "you're eating some pancakes, aren't you?"

You purse your lips, hesitating. 

On one hand, protein pancakes sound like something a gym bro invented to justify eating dessert for breakfast. 

On the other, your stomach reminds you it's been empty since those chips you inhaled around midnight.

"Come on," he pushes, "you need protein to maintain that ass, Nix."

Your jaw actually drops. "Excuse me?"

"What?" He grins, ducking his head when you swat at him again. "I'm just saying, would be a pity to throw that to waste. You've got an amazing—"

"Ughhhhh, okay! I got it!" You cut him off before he can finish. "I don’t wanna hear it at this hour. I'll eat your stupid pancakes, my god."

He looks far too pleased with himself, flipping a perfectly golden pancake like he thinks he’s an actual chef or something. 

"They're not stupid, they're nutritionally optimized."

"Is that what your protein powder labels call them? The ones with the half-naked bodybuilders flexing on the front?"

"Hey, don't judge my fitness journey."

"Oh, I'm judging everything about you, Rook. It’s my whole brand.”

He just chuckles, sliding the first pancake onto a plate and pouring more batter. The domesticity of it all is somehow ridiculous.

It feels too normal. Too easy. Like you've done this a hundred times before.

Like maybe you could do it a hundred times more.

Dangerous thought. Very dangerous.

You take a long sip of coffee, letting the bitter heat scald away whatever the hell that feeling was.

Jungkook slides a plate toward you, two perfectly golden pancakes stacked and steaming. 

And honestly; they actually smell... decent. Not like the protein chalk you expected.

"Bon appétit," he says with a ridiculous flourish of his hand. "Try not to fall in love."

"With you or the pancakes?" You grab a fork from the drawer, sitting on one stool and poking at your breakfast suspiciously.

"The pancakes.” He says with a smirk, joining you in the adjacent stool. “I’m too much for you to handle.”

You roll your eyes, taking a reluctant bite. Fuck. They're good. Like, actually good. Not gritty or chalky or tasting vaguely of chemicals like most protein-enhanced food.

His smug grin tells you your face has already betrayed you.

"Don't," you warn, pointing your fork at him.

"Don't what?" He leans forward, one elbow propped on the table. "Don't mention how your eyes just rolled back in your head? Or don't point out that I'm right about something, and that's clearly causing you physical pain?"

"Don't be insufferable before 9 AM." You take another bite, speaking around it. "I haven't had enough coffee to deal with you at full throttle."

"What about last night? You seemed pretty happy dealing with me at full throttle then."

"Seriously? We're doing this now?"

"Doing what?" He stabs his own pancakes with his utensil. "Having breakfast? Talking? Being... you know, normal?"

"Normal. Is that what we're doing?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, last night was..." He shrugs, taking a bite of pancake. "Nice. You know? We actually talked. Didn't try to kill each other. Maybe we could do that more."

Oh god. This is exactly what you were afraid of. This weird, awkward morning-after attempt to redefine things. 

He's going to want to put a label on it now, isn't he? 

Turn your convenient arrangement into something messy with expectations and feelings and other terrifying shit.

Friends. Or friends with benefits or whatever stupid idea he’s about to come up with. 

No. Absolutely not.

"We talked," you say carefully. "We also fucked. Let's not make it weird."

"How is it weird to suggest we could be, I don't know, actual friends?"

And there it is. 

"Friends." You stab at your pancake with more force than necessary. "Right. Because that's what people who've seen each other naked are. Friends."

"I mean, yeah? Friends who fuck. It's a whole thing. People do it all the time."

You look up at him, fork frozen halfway to your mouth. 

“And how's that worked out for you in the past, Rogue? These fuck-buddy friendships of yours—all solid, drama-free arrangements, were they?"

His eyebrows furrow. "I'm not suggesting we start braiding each other's hair and sharing deep dark secrets. Just saying maybe we don't have to pretend we hate each other 24/7."

"I don't hate you," you say automatically, then immediately regret it.

He scoffs. "Progress."

"Don't get excited. I don't like you, either."

"Sure you do." He grins around a mouthful of pancake. "You like parts of me, at least."

"Your modesty, definitely. That's my favorite part."

"Not what you were saying last night."

You throw a napkin at him. It flutters pathetically halfway across the space between you. 

Stupid napkin. Stupid Jungkook.

“Can we just—can we just eat? Without dissecting our relationship status?"

"What's there to dissect? We live together. We fuck sometimes. We talk sometimes. We don't hate each other. Seems pretty straightforward to me."

"Nothing's ever straightforward. Sex is one thing. Friendship is another. Put them together, and it's a disaster waiting to happen."

"Why? What's the issue? You really think if we start being decent to each other, suddenly the whole arrangement falls apart?"

"No, I think if we start being 'decent' to each other, suddenly there are expectations. Suddenly I'm supposed to care if you're having a bad day, or listen to your problems, or worry about your feelings when we're fucking."

"Wow. The horror." He rolls his eyes. "God forbid you acknowledge I'm a human being and not just a convenient dick."

"That's not what I meant—"

"Then what did you mean? Because from where I'm standing, it sounds like you think I'm too fucking stupid to understand boundaries. Like I'll immediately start writing your name in hearts or some shit just because we've upgraded from roommates to friends."

"I didn't say—"

"I don't want to date you, Nix. I don't want to be your boyfriend. I just thought it might be nice to not act like we're in some cold war every time we're in the same room. But if that's too much emotional labor for you, fine. We can go back to pretending the other doesn't exist unless we're naked."

The sting of his words surprises you. Why do you even care? This is what you want—no messy emotions, no expectations. Just the convenience of living together and occasionally hooking up. Clean. Simple.

Except now it feels anything but.

"You're twisting what I said."

"Am I? So you're not freaking out about the terrifying prospect of actually being friends with the guy you've been sleeping with?"

"I am not freaking out." You are absolutely freaking out. "I just think it's... cleaner. If we keep things the way they are."

"Cleaner." He snorts. "Right. God forbid anything in your life gets messy."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've got your shit locked down so tight you're about to snap in half." He stands up, grabbing his mug of coffee. "You think I don't see it? How hard you try to control everything? How fucking terrified you are of anything that doesn't fit into your perfectly organized boxes?"

Your grip on the fork tightens. "Oh, please. Tell me more about myself, Rook. You've known me for what, one month? Clearly you're an expert."

"I may not know shit, but I see enough. I see you'd rather cut someone out completely than risk them having any kind of power over you.”

"Fuck you," you spit, but it comes out weaker than you intended. 

Because he's not wrong, and that's the worst part.

"Yeah, we've established that part works great." He drops his plate on the sink and it clatters noisily. “Look, forget it. You want to keep pretending we're strangers who occasionally fuck? Fine. Works for me. Less work anyway."

"That's not what I said." You stand up. "I just don't see why we need to redefine everything. Why can't we just... let it be what it is?"

"Because I don't even know what the fuck it is! Am I your roommate? Your fuck buddy? That guy you hate but tolerate because the rent is cheaper split three ways? What the hell am I supposed to tell people when they ask about you?"

"Why are people asking about me?"

"Jesus Christ." He throws his hands up. "That's what you focus on? Not the point, Phoenix."

"Then what is the point? Spell it out for me, since I'm clearly too stupid to get it."

"The point is, I talk to you more than I talk to most of my actual friends. I see you every day. I know how you take your coffee and what you look like when you come. So excuse the fuck out of me for thinking maybe, just maybe, we could drop the whole 'we're just roommates who tolerate each other' act and admit we might actually be friends."

You stare at him, chest tight with something you can't name. 

Can't or won't. 

This is exactly what you've been avoiding—this messy, complicated conversation that blurs all the neat lines you've drawn.

"I don't do friends with benefits," you finally say, voice quiet, your plate joining his. "It never works. Someone always ends up hurt."

"Who said anything about hurt? It's not that deep, Nix. We're not in a fucking rom-com."

"No, we're in real life, where things get complicated and messy and people have expectations they don't even realize until they're disappointed."

"The only expectation I have right now is for you to stop overthinking everything for five seconds."

"I'm not overthinking. I'm being realistic."

"You're being paranoid. And kind of insulting, if I'm honest. Like I'm some lovesick puppy who can't handle a casual arrangement."

“I’m paranoid? That’s rich coming from you, Ro. Real fucking rich."

His eyes narrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're a fucking hypocrite." The words tumble out, hot and fast. "You want to talk about being friends? About opening up? That's hilarious coming from the guy who deflects every personal question with some stupid joke."

"I don't—"

"You absolutely do. Every time." You step closer, jabbing a finger in his direction. "Ask about your financial situation? Oh, it's fine, just selling a kidney next week, ha ha. Ask about your ex? Turn it into some bullshit story about how she 'graded' you after sex, like it's all a big fucking joke."

His jaw tightens, a muscle jumping beneath the skin. "That's different."

"How? How is it different? You want me to be all open and friendly, but all you do is deflect and crack jokes.”

"I didn’t say anything about being all open and—”

"Then what are you saying?" You throw your hands up, frustration making your voice rise. "Because it sounds like you want all the benefits of friendship without any of the actual vulnerability. You want me to be your friend when it's convenient, but god forbid I ask about anything that matters."

"What do you want to know, Nix? What deep dark secret are you dying to hear? How I'm drowning in debt because my ex fucked up my credit? How I can barely make rent some months? How I wake up in the middle of the night panicking about money? Is that friendly enough for you?"

The sudden honesty knocks the wind out of you. Your mouth opens, closes, opens again like a fish gasping on land.

"That's what I thought." He tilts his head, motion clearly angry. "You don't actually want to know that shit. You just want to point out that I don't share it to win an argument."

You both stand there, breathing hard, like you’re studying each other.

But then Griffin rubs against your ankle, completely oblivious to the emotional warfare happening above his head and you…

You, honestly, feel tired.

Bone-deep tired. 

It's too early for this much... whatever this is.

"Look," you sigh, the fight draining out of you. "Maybe we're both right, in our own way. And maybe we're both being assholes."

He blinks, clearly not expecting the shift. 

After a moment, his shoulders drop a fraction.

"I’m listening.”

"Last night wasn't terrible," you say, choosing your words carefully. "Talking. Whatever. Maybe we don't need to define everything right now?"

"Revolutionary concept." His voice has lost its edge, that familiar sardonic tone creeping back in. "Not immediately labeling every interaction. Who would've thought?"

"Shut up." 

You pick up your coffee mug again, taking a sip to hide the relief washing over you. 

Crisis averted. Boundaries preserved. 

For now.

"So what are you saying?" he asks, leaning back against the counter. "We just... see where things go?"

"I'm saying maybe we don't have to be strictly roommates or strictly friends. Maybe we can just... exist in the same space sometimes without trying to kill each other. And if it turns out we don't hate it..."

"We can revisit the friend thing?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Maybe." You shrug, aiming for casual. "If you manage not to be completely insufferable."

"Tall order." He's almost smiling now. "I'll have to suppress all my natural charm."

"If that's what you call it."

You roll your eyes, relieved to be back on solid ground. 

This you can handle—the banter, the back-and-forth, the careful dance around anything too real. 

This is safe.

Under control.

"Just eat your protein pancakes, Rogue. Don't you have gains to maintain or whatever?"

"Can't skip arm day," he agrees, flexing dramatically. "These biceps don't maintain themselves."

"God, you're insufferable."

"Yet here you are, eating my pancakes, drinking coffee I made you." He gestures at your mug with his own. "Almost like you tolerate me."

"Stockholm syndrome, obviously."

"Obviously." He hums thoughtfully for a moment. "So, we're good?"

"We're..." you search for the right word, "...fine. For now. Let's just take it a day at a time, okay? No pressure, no expectations."

"I can do that." He nods, looking almost relieved himself. "One day at a time. Starting with today, where you admit my pancakes are fucking amazing."

"They're edible."

"They're incredible and you know it."

"They're protein powder with extra steps."

"They're a culinary masterpiece that your taste buds aren't sophisticated enough to fully appreciate."

"My taste buds are perfectly sophisticated, thank you very much."

"Says the girl who eats chips at midnight."

"At least I don't drink protein shakes for dessert like some kind of psychopath."

"Don't knock it 'til you try it. My midnight chocolate protein shake would change your life."

You make a gagging sound. "I'll pass, thanks."

"Your loss." He shrugs, then glances at the clock. "Don't you have to be at work at 10?"

"Yeah, but it's only—" you check your phone, "—8:30. Plenty of time."

"If you say so." He moves towards the space between the entryway and the couch. "First day, right? Gonna sell some books to the masses?"

"That's generally what happens at a bookstore, yes."

"Well, don't let your sparkling personality scare away the customers."

"I have excellent customer service skills, I'll have you know. I can fake being nice for hours at a time."

“You sure ‘bout that? Haven’t seen you be nice for more than thirty seconds."

"That's because you don't deserve my niceness."

"And the customers at Barnes & Noble do?"

"They're paying for it. You just get the real me."

"Lucky me," he snorts. "So, you nervous? First day and all?"

"It's a retail job, Rogue, not brain surgery. I think I can handle scanning books and saying 'have a nice day' without a panic attack."

"Just asking." He takes a sip from his mug. "Making conversation. Like normal people do."

"Yeah, well." You shift, suddenly uncomfortable with how... normal this feels. 

Like you're actual roommates having an actual conversation. 

Like maybe this friend thing isn't so impossible after all. 

"I should probably start getting ready."

"Right, sure." He nods, glancing at his room. "Wouldn't want you to be late for your first day of shaping young minds through literature."

"It's Barnes & Noble, not the Library of Alexandria."

"Still. Books. Knowledge. Power. You know."

“Has anyone ever told you that you talk a lot of shit for someone who reads, like, one book a year?"

"Hey, I read." He looks genuinely offended. "I just finished that one about the guy who—"

"If you say 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad,' I'm going to throw this mug at your head."

"I was going to say 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck,' actually."

"Of course you were." You can't help the laugh that escapes. "How original. Let me guess, you also have 'The 48 Laws of Power' on your nightstand?"

"Whatever, man." He shakes his head, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Suck my dick."

The words come out light, amused—a casual dismissal that’s not angry or bitter, just a throwaway line, the kind of thing he'd say to Yoongi or any of his friends when they're giving him shit.

But something about it—the vulgarity or maybe the signature shitty and playful challenge in his eyes—makes you reckless.

"Okay."

You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, eyes sliding to the side as the word slips out. 

Casual

Like you just agreed to pass the salt, not... that.

Jungkook stops dead in his tracks. His body goes rigid, one foot already pointed toward his bedroom. He turns his head slightly, just enough for you to catch his profile.

"Huh?"

You cross your arms, teeth worrying the inside of your cheek. A shrug lifts your shoulders—noncommittal, like this isn't making your heart hammer against your ribs.

Your eyes drift back to his. Meet and hold.

"I said okay."

He turns fully now, coffee mug dangling forgotten from his fingers. 

"Okay... what?"

"Sucking your dick." 

You watch his throat bobble, the muscles in his neck working as he swallows. Like he’s processing what you just said. Like you just suggested something completely alien, something that requires a full system reboot. 

And okay, fine, maybe it wasn’t the most casual thing to drop into conversation. But still

You arch an eyebrow, scowling at him because why is he overthinking this? Does he not want you to do it? Don’t all guys want to get sucked off? Isn’t that, like, a universal truth or something? What’s with the hesitation?

The longer he stands there, frozen and dumbfounded, the hotter your frustration burns. It’s not like you even want to do this (okay, you do, but that’s not the point). 

The point is he’s always the first one to be like “bet” whenever you throw out some reckless suggestion. 

Pushy without being pushy—he knows boundaries, sure, but he’s still the guy who’ll smirk and say “you won’t” just to see if you will. 

And now? The one time you actually offer something? He’s looking at you like you’re speaking Simlish.

You move toward him, until you're face to face. 

His mug wobbles in his grip, coffee sloshing dangerously close to the rim.

You look up at him through your lashes. 

"I said I can suck your dick if that's what you want."

A shaky exhale escapes him, warm against your face.

"Nix..." His voice has dropped an octave, rough around the edges. "Don't fool around. That's not nice."

"I'm not fooling around."

Slowly—so slowly it feels like time has stretched into something thick and syrupy—you sink down to your knees.

The kitchen tile is hard, and really, it should be uncomfortable. Should snap you out of whatever madness has possessed you.

It doesn't.

Jungkook bites down on his lower lip, the sharp edges of his teeth digging into the flesh like he's physically holding back a curse. You can see the evidence of his interest already straining against his pajama pants.

His fucking Sonic pajama pants.

Because of course. Of course this would happen while he's wearing cartoon hedgehogs. Of course this

moment—where you're on your knees in front of him, heart pounding, breath shallow—would come with this absurd detail that makes it real in a way that's almost uncomfortable.

Your hands come to rest on his thighs. 

Strong. Solid. Warm

"I mean, we've been hooking up for a month now. Almost." Your voice sounds different to your own ears. Lower. A little breathless. "You've eaten me out multiple times, but... I haven't sucked your dick. Not even once."

Your eyes drop deliberately to the bulge straining against ridiculous cartoon fabric. It should be funny. 

It's not.

"Is it because you didn't want me to?"

He shakes his head. Fast. Emphatic. A jerky motion that tells you everything you need to know.

"So why didn't you ask me?"

He doesn't answer. Can't, maybe. 

His throat works again, adam's apple bobbing. His pupils are blown wide, dark and hungry as he stares down at you.

Your fingers play with the waistband, slowly—so fucking slowly—pulling it down just enough to reveal his hip bones and the trail of dark hair that disappears beneath the elastic.

"Have you thought about it at all?"

"Yes." The word comes out strangled, like it fought its way past whatever restraint he's trying to maintain.

Your eyes snap up to his.

He curses when your eyes lock onto his again—the control you have, even down on your knees.

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." He exhales, surrender in the sound. "Yes, I've thought about your beautiful plump lips wrapped around my cock, Nix. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Heat blooms in your cheeks, spreading down your neck, across your chest. 

You hadn't expected him to be so... explicit. So honest.

"Maybe." Your thumbs brush against the skin just above his waistband. "What else have you thought about?"

His mug clatters onto the counter beside him, abandoned and his now-free hand comes to your face, thumb brushing against your bottom lip. 

"Thought about how you'd look," he murmurs, voice pitched low enough that you have to strain to hear it. "On your knees. Just like this. Those big eyes looking up at me while you take me in your mouth.”

Jesus

Your body responds instantly, a rush of heat between your thighs that makes you press them together unconsciously.

When did Jungkook get so... articulate?

His thumb presses slightly against your lip, just enough to part them. "Thought about how warm your mouth would be.

How good it would feel. How you'd sound."

"How l'd sound?”

A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, confidence returning as he watches your reaction. "The little noises you'd make. The way you'd moan around my cock when I pull your hair."

Oh.

Your hand moves higher, finding the hard length of him through his pajamas. He hisses through his teeth when you palm him, fingers wrapping around his shape.

"Like this?" you ask, squeezing gently.

His hand moves to your hair, fingers tangling in the strands at the back of your head. 

Not pulling. Not yet. Just holding.

"Getting there." His voice is strained now, tight with need.

"But in my head, there's a lot less talking and a lot more—"

"Sucking?"

His laugh is half groan. "Yeah, Nix. A lot more sucking."

"Hmmm" you murmur. "Where's all that big talk from earlier?"

"Temporarily relocated," he manages. "Blood flow issues."

That startles a laugh out of you, breaking the tension for just a moment. Trust Jungkook to crack a joke while you're literally about to have his dick in your mouth.

Your hands pause, giving his bulge another soft squeeze before—

“Wait—couch.” He grabs your wrist, stopping your motions. “Let’s do this properly.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah? Better for your neck and knees and all that. Let’s go.”

You roll your eyes but follow as he then drops onto the couch, sprawling like he owns the place—which, technically, he does, but still. His left elbow hooks over the cushion rest lazily, and his knuckles come up to rest against his cheek as he leans into it. 

The picture of nonchalance. 

Except for the way his hips shift slightly, rolling upward in a small, deliberate motion as he spreads his legs wider.

Your eyes narrow. 

That little buck of his hips? The way his thighs stretch out as if to frame you? It’s not subtle

Neither is the look he’s giving you now—those half-lidded bedroom eyes that always seem to appear when he’s horny. His lips curve into something smug, and god he’s so obvious it’s almost embarrassing. Like one of those guys in bad romance novels who lounges around shirtless, flexing for no reason except to remind everyone they have abs.

“So?” His voice is low, dragging out the single syllable like a challenge.

You cross your arms tighter over your chest, glaring at him because—what? Is this supposed to be seductive? Is this his idea of foreplay? 

“You’re already making me regret this, you know that?”

He snorts, the sound sharp and amused as he tilts his head slightly. “I don’t know why I doubt that.”

Your only response is a scoff—short and derisive—as you step closer. The floor feels uneven beneath your feet, though you know it isn’t. It’s just your nerves playing tricks on you. 

Because this is real now. This is happening. You’re about to suck cock. Rogue’s cock.

You want this. You do. You’ve been curious about this for longer than you’d care to admit—curious about him, about what he likes and how he reacts and whether he’ll look as smug when he’s falling apart under your mouth. 

But still… You haven’t exactly done this much before.

David—the forgettable high school boyfriend who thought foreplay was optional—had pretty much stuck his dick in you and called it a day. He didn’t even know girls could orgasm until you brought it up once during an argument (and even then, he seemed skeptical). 

Your life hasn't been that tragic since then, thankfully.

A few hookups here and there have shown you that men aren't a total lost cause after all—some of them even know what they're doing! But sucking dick?

That's... different. It's not something you've done often enough to feel confident about it.

Sure, you know the basics—you've read enough spicy books and fanfics to have a decent idea of what works (English majors don't judge; they research). 

But knowing what works in general isn't the same as knowing what Jungkook likes. 

And this is his cock you’re talking about—his stupidly perfect body and his stupidly perfect everything else.

And now here you are, kneeling between Jungkook’s thighs while he looks down at you with that stupid smirk of his.

You glance up at him expectantly, hoping for some kind of cue or instruction or… anything really. Like he always does, talk shit with that big mouth of his. Dirty talk or whatever. 

But all he does is blink at you for a moment before he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his Sonic pajama pants and starts pulling them down.

His cock springs free, standing there like it owns the place. 

And okay, yeah, you’ve seen it before—plenty of times, actually. 

You’ve had it inside you, for fuck’s sake. 

But this? This is different. This is up close and personal, inches from your face, glossy and flushed and looking way too proud of itself.

Beautiful isn’t the right word. It’s a cock. A literal penis

There’s nothing beautiful about it—it’s just a piece of meat, veiny and slightly curved and standing at attention like it’s waiting for applause or something. 

And yet... you can’t look away. 

Why is it so glossy? Is that normal? Does he always look like this when he’s hard? You don’t know why your brain is spiraling into a full-blown analysis of his dick right now, but here you are, mentally beefing with it like it personally insulted you.

Be so fucking for real right now.

And again—there he is. Silent. Watching. Not saying a single goddamn word.

Which is weird because usually, Jungkook doesn’t shut up during sex. He’s all about the dirty talk—filthy little comments that let you know exactly what he likes, what he wants, what he’s thinking. 

But now? Nothing. Just this expectant silence that makes your skin prickle with self-consciousness.

You hate him for it.

Your hand wraps around him before you can overthink it anymore. Because okay, fine—you might not be an expert at this, but you’re not completely clueless either. You’ve sucked cock before (not a lot, but enough to know the basics), and you know how jerking off works. 

So that’s what you do: start slow, your hand moving down his length in a steady stroke.

He hisses softly at the contact, his hips shifting slightly against the couch cushion. When you glance up at him from beneath your lashes, he’s already looking down at you—his lips parted just enough to catch your attention as his tongue darts out to wet them.

And still, he says nothing.

“What?” You grunt the word out before you can stop yourself, frustration bubbling up in your chest.

“Nothing,” he says quickly, too quickly—like he wasn’t expecting you to call him out.

You narrow your eyes at him suspiciously, but his face gives nothing away.

“Okay,” you mutter under your breath, pulling back slightly as doubt creeps in around the edges of your confidence. “I’m doing everything wrong. Forget it.”

You start to stand up—because honestly

Fuck this

Fuck him and his smug silence and his stupid perfect dick that’s making you second-guess yourself when you were perfectly fine five minutes ago.

But before you can fully retreat, his hand shoots out to grab yours—not rough or demanding, just firm enough to stop you in your tracks.

“Hey,” he says softly, his voice low and almost... gentle? “Hey, no. Don’t do that.”

You stare at him for a moment, then look away because suddenly eye contact feels like too much.

There’s a beat of silence before he swallows audibly, like he’s pondering what to say. 

“Do you want me to…” He hesitates for half a second before continuing, his tone careful but curious. “Verbally tell you what I like?”

You purse your lips tightly, the edges pressing together in a way that’s almost painful. 

Because somehow, saying yes to that—admitting you need him to tell you what to do—feels like losing. And you don’t want to lose. Not here. Not to him. Not when he’s sprawled out like some kind of smug king on the stupid couch, looking at you like he’s waiting for you to figure out how to solve a puzzle he already knows the answer to.

He doesn’t push, though. His hand stays on yours, warm and steady, as you let him pull you gently back down. 

Your knees hit the floor again, and the carpet feels rough against your skin, grounding you in the moment even as your brain screams at you to get it together.

“Okay,” he says after a beat, his voice soft but probing. “What’s up?”

Your eyes snap to his, narrowing slightly at the question. “That’s what I should be asking you.”

He raises an eyebrow at that, clearly unimpressed with your deflection. 

“C’mon. Usually you’re so mouthy. You literally made me beg yesterday just to eat you out. I don’t get this sudden prude thing you’re pulling.”

Damn him. Damn him and his ability to read you so well it feels like he’s got a script for your every thought and reaction.

“I’m not acting prude,” you snap defensively.

“Really?” His lips twitch upward. “Because you’re staring at my cock like you’re mad at it.”

Your jaw tightens as embarrassment flares hot in your chest. 

“I’m not mad at it,” you mutter through gritted teeth.

“Then what’s the problem?” He tilts his head slightly, genuinely curious now. “Tell me.”

You blink at him, caught off guard by how simple he makes it sound—like voicing whatever’s swirling in your head is the easiest thing in the world. Like it’s not tied up in knots of insecurity and doubt and whatever else is making your throat feel tight right now.

Because he’s right. You could just tell him. That would solve everything, wouldn’t it? But somehow, the thought of saying it out loud—of admitting that maybe you’re not as confident about this as you’d like to be—feels like stepping off a cliff without knowing if there’s anything to catch you at the bottom.

Why does it feel like losing? Like humiliation?

His brow furrows slightly when you don’t respond right away, and then he asks—carefully, hesitantly—

“Okay… have you done this before? A blowjob?”

The question makes your stomach flip for reasons you can’t quite explain. Your eyes drop to the floor as heat creeps up your neck and into your face. 

“…Yus,” you mumble under your breath.

“Yus?” He repeats incredulously, leaning forward slightly like he didn’t hear you right.

“Yes,” you say louder this time, still staring at the carpet like it holds all the answers to life’s mysteries.

“But not often,” he guesses—and fuck him for being right again.

Your head snaps up at that, ready to fire off some kind of retort about how that’s none of his business or how he should shut up because clearly he’s not an expert on everything either—but then he laughs.

Out loud.

And it stops you cold.

Because it’s not mean or mocking or anything close to what you expected—it’s just… laughter. Light and genuine and almost disbelieving in a way that makes something inside you loosen just a little bit.

“What?” You demand sharply.

“Oh my god,” he says between chuckles. “Phoenix—is that what this is about? Why didn’t you just tell me?”

You glare at him because what else are you supposed to do? Admit he’s right? Again? Absolutely not.

He notices anyway—of course he does—and his grin softens into something closer to understanding as he leans back against the couch cushions.

“Bro,” he says lightly, shaking his head like this is all so obvious now. “It’s totally chill.”

You scoff quietly, looking off to the side because meeting his eyes feels impossible right now.

“I mean it, you want to try, right? You want to experience it or whatever? Nothing wrong with that.” He pauses for half a second before adding with a small smile: “Let me help you, aight?”

You don’t say yes. Of course you don’t. You never say yes.

You run your tongue across your upper lip instead, slow and lazy like you’re tasting the tension, and shrug—shoulders stiff like maybe it costs you something to agree. 

Which, okay. It kind of does. Dignity’s already dangling by a thread.

But he reads it. Of course he does. Like you’re a fucking cartoon strip and he’s already memorized every panel. 

He just grins—guffaws, really, because apparently this is hilarious to him—and tilts his chin toward his cock like that’s normal. Like this is a fucking TED Talk on Applied Dick Science.

“Spit.”

You blink. “Huh?”

“Spit on it.” 

Like it’s nothing. Like you’re asking him if he wants oat milk in his coffee and not literally hocking a loogie onto his dick.

Your face does something between a grimace and a snort. “What are you, a porn algorithm?”

Relax. It’s not a kink thing. Just helps with… y’know. Glide.” A shrug. So casual. “Friction’s not your friend, Nix.”

You squint at him. “So now you’re a physics professor.”

“Professor of good head,” he says under his breath, eyes twinkling like he thinks that’s clever.

You exhale slowly through your nose. Not quite a sigh. Just enough to say fine, sure, without actually giving him anything. 

Then your eyes flick down, then back up.

And maybe you don’t mean to hold eye contact for as long as you do, but whatever. Your gaze locks on his, and his mouth hitches slightly at the corner.

One of those small, lazy smirks that says he’s watching everything you do. Which he is.

You drop your eyes again. Shift forward. Palms to thighs. Inhale once through your nose, just to clear whatever mental fog is still clinging.

Then you lower your face toward him, mouth hovering just above the head of his cock.

And okay. It’s a little intense up close like this.

Flushed dark pink at the tip, that little bead of precum catching the light. Skin taut where it stretches up and around the curve. 

And yeah, it’s pretty? Like, stupid pretty. Which only pisses you off more because it’s a dick. You shouldn’t be thinking aesthetic right now. You should be—

He hisses.

Literally just from your breath.

Like, your breath grazes the head and he inhales sharp through his teeth, a low sound punching out of his chest that he probably didn’t mean to make.

Your eyes cut up automatically.

And you absolutely, one hundred percent bite back a smirk. Can feel it twitch at the edge of your mouth, creeping in before you catch it.

He doesn’t say anything, but there’s a flicker of amusement in his face. A slight arch of his brow, a ghost of a grin that says ‘don’t get cocky’, which is rich coming from him.

You don’t let the moment stretch too long.

You glance down once more, tilt your chin forward, and—

Let spit fall from your lips.

Slow and steady.

A warm trail that splatters right onto his cockhead with a soft, wet noise you pretend not to react to. The drool stretches in a thin line as it drops, catching and sticking in places before sliding down the shaft, slick and messy in a way that feels weirdly intimate and way too graphic for how not romantic this is supposed to be.

You hear him exhale again—less sharp this time, more like a breath he didn’t know he was holding—and when you glance back up, your eyes meet his.

Big. Wide. Intentional.

Because yeah, you’ve read enough porn. You know this trick. Know the effect eye contact has. 

Especially from down here. Especially when your lips are half an inch from his dick and your saliva’s still glistening on it.

And okay. Fine. Maybe it’s a little performative. 

But he does it, too. Every goddamn time he’s between your legs, he’s watching you like it’s a sport. 

So maybe it’s not just for you. Maybe it’s projection.

It definitely is.

Because the second your spit hits his cock and your eyes stay locked on his, Jungkook makes this—noise.

Not a grunt. Not a moan. Just this tiny sound, like a choked-up breath dragged out of his throat against his will. The kind of sound you’d miss if you weren’t listening for it. 

But you are. And you do. 

Your fingers wrap around him without thinking. Automatic, almost. Like your hand just knows what to do now. It’s not a tight grip, not at first—just enough to feel the weight of him, hot and heavy and fucking ridiculous in your palm.

You give him one slow pull. A test run. Casual. Clinical.

And his head tips back instantly.

“Ahh—god, yeah,” he groans, voice pitched low and raw like it just escaped him.

You blink. Stare. Something tightens low in your stomach, unexpected.

But before you can fully process the way that noise slithered into your spine and curled up there like it pays rent, he’s looking down again. Immediately. Because apparently the view of your hand jerking him off is not something he’s willing to miss.

His gaze drops to the contact like it’s life or death, pupils blown and mouth slightly parted. He looks wrecked already, and you’ve barely done anything.

Kind of gratifying. Not gonna lie.

So you keep moving. Slow. Measured. A couple more strokes, just to test what rhythm feels natural. Your hand adjusts automatically, finding that friction-slicked spot between too loose and too tight. Thumb brushes the underside near the head, not on purpose, but—

“Yeah,” he breathes. “That’s—”

Pauses. Swallows. Licks his lips like he’s trying not to rush it. 

“That’s good, but… here.”

His voice is soft now, like he’s trying not to scare you off. Like if he speaks too loud you might slap his dick and walk out. 

And then his hand’s there. His actual hand.

The tatted one.

It swallows yours whole like it’s got a god complex. His fingers are longer, rougher, his palm calloused from guitar strings or camera work or something equally shitty—and it lands on top of yours like this is how. Like he can’t not touch. Like the need to guide is stronger than the need to just sit there and enjoy.

And okay, that’s kind of hot.

He doesn’t even do it weird. No pervy whisper, no ‘lemme show you, baby.’

Just—grips your hand, adjusts the angle, and starts moving it the way he would. His pace. His pressure. His exact rhythm.

He’s demonstrating. Demonstrating. The way he does it.

Which—Jesus. Okay. That’s a thing you’re watching now.

You track everything. How he drags you up to the head and tugs just a bit harder when you get there. Not painful, just… firmer. Intentional. Then down again—not all the way, not to the base. Just past halfway. Controlled. Like there’s a limit he doesn’t cross.

You assume it’s a sensitivity thing or maybe it just doesn’t feel good that far down. Maybe it’s one of those ‘my dick isn’t a joystick’ scenarios. 

You don’t know.

But you clock it. Catalog it. 

Mental note: no base. No excessive tug. Got it.

He lets go of your hand after a few strokes, slowly, and leans back just an inch—enough to say ‘your turn’. Still watching, though. Like a perv. Like a mentor.

Like both.

You copy what he showed you. Try to mimic the pressure, the pace, the not-too-tight but not-too-flimsy grip. Try to keep the motion smooth even though your brain’s busy yelling ‘are we seriously learning how he jerks off right now? is this real life?’

Apparently yes. It is. And it’s working.

Because he makes this sound. This little hhuhh in the back of his throat, barely audible but very much real. Not exaggerated. Just… a reaction.

You hold back a grin. Barely.

Pride hits low and hot in your chest like you just got an A on a test you forgot to study for. 

Not because he said something—but because he didn’t

That little exhale? That shift in his hips? That subtle fuck, yeah cue without words?

Validation.

Your eyes flick up. You want to see it. Read him.

But he’s not looking at you.

Still staring at your hand. Brows drawn, mouth slack.   

And then—

His front teeth catch his bottom lip. Plush, pink, a little too soft for how filthy he is, and he bites. Not hard. Just enough for it to dimple inward and make something flicker behind his lashes. 

The kind of flicker that screams overthinking, like maybe the feeling’s a little too good, and he’s trying to ground himself with pain or pressure or… whatever the fuck goes on in his chaos brain when he’s like this.

Then comes the sound.

Somewhere between a hiss and a grunt, like his body can’t decide if it wants to breathe through it or fuck into it. 

Rough at the edges, low, weirdly conflicted.

His head dips again.

“Also,” he breathes out, voice crackly and uneven now, “do… do this. Look.”

His hand comes up before you can ask what this is.

Big, again. His palm wraps around yours like he’s your goddamn training wheels. Not even pretending it’s not a tutorial anymore. 

His fingers press lightly into your skin, adjusting your grip—less on the full stroke now and more—

“There,” he mutters, repositioning your thumb, sliding it higher. 

Right to that spot beneath the crown. Soft little groove. Just barely noticeable unless you’re paying attention.

Which, apparently, he really fucking is.

“You feel that?” he says, voice dipping. “Right under. The… fuckin’—yeah, that. That’s the spot.”

You nod a little, but your eyes don’t leave your hand, now with your thumb angled like a pressure point. Like you’re disarming a bomb with one finger.

His voice drops again.

“Okay, now when you stroke—” his hand moves yours with his, slow and controlled, “—pull up like that, and when you hit the top, tighter there—yeah, squeeze just a little—and your thumb… drag it with you.”

He does it again. Once. Then twice. Demonstrating like this is a team sport and you’re in pre-game drills.

That spot.

That frenulum, or whatever the technical term is. 

Doesn’t matter. What matters is how his breath stutters when you pass over it, how his mouth goes a little slack while he watches.

“That’s the shit, Nix,” he says, almost like it’s to himself. Like he’s taking mental notes on his own cock. “That right there.”

Then he lets go again. Fingers slip away from yours, slow. 

And he licks his lips as he leans back into the couch, arm flopping over the top cushion like he’s trying to play it cool again, even though he’s still watching you like a fucking hawk.

So. You try.

You mimic the motion exactly. 

Same rhythm. Same pressure. Same thumb glide up the underside, and—

“Fuck.”

That one’s not breathy. Not soft. Full-bodied groan. Low and honest, punched out of his chest like his lungs just gave up the ghost for a second.

You do it again. And again.

Thumb dragging against that spot every time you pull up. Your grip tightening near the crown, loosening at the glide down.

He melts.

That’s the only word for it. 

His whole body sinks into the cushions like gravity just tripled. Thighs open wider, neck drops back over the edge of the couch, mouth hanging open now like he’s past the point of pretending he’s unaffected.

“Fuck, yeah—that is…” he pants, lips parted, eyes fluttering before he forces them open again, zeroing in on your hand like it’s holy. “That’s fucking perfect, Nix. Jesus Christ, you’ve got magic fingers or some shit.”

Your smirk barely hides itself.

He’s a talker. You knew that. But this? This is next level.

“Fuckin’ knew you’d be good with your hands,” he groans, eyes flicking from your fingers to your face and back down again, tongue dragging across his bottom lip like he’s trying not to say more but can’t help himself. “Just like that, just like that—shit, that’s so fucking good—”

Your thumb twitches tighter without thinking, and his hips flinch.

And it’s so fucking dumb, the way your stomach flips at the reaction. Like you’re the one being touched. Like you got your nerve endings scraped raw by one tiny squeeze.

But there it is—his hips flinching, a twitch so fast you might’ve missed it if you weren’t laser-focused on every damn micro-expression crawling across his face. 

His mouth opens for half a second like he’s gonna say something, maybe crack a joke, maybe tell you to go harder—but then—

He chokes a breath.

Like it gets stuck somewhere between his ribs and throat, all tangled up in want.

It is shaky, and it hitches like it costs him something to let it out. 

Like just existing through this is work.

And you see it—the way his pupils expand even more, ink bleeding into every millimeter of brown. 

He’s not blinking. He’s not moving, not really. Just chest rising and falling way too slow, like he’s afraid any sudden motion might snap this thread thin tension.

You lick your lips before you can stop yourself. Because he’s staring. Still. At your hand, yeah, but also your face now. 

Like watching you react is part of the pleasure. Like your mouth is more interesting than porn.

And okay. Maybe you’re a little into that.

Maybe that’s why your hand tightens again. Just a little. Not even on purpose this time, more like instinct. Your thumb swipes over that spot again, light and smooth and mean, and his chest fucking jerks.

Then—

A noise. Escapes him. Not a groan. Not a moan either. It’s like a stuttered-out puff of sound that crackles in his throat on its way up, all gritty and broken, like it got caught in static.

And right after that, so soft you almost miss it, he says:

“Your mouth.”

You freeze.

Your pulse jumps like you’ve been caught doing something wrong. Even though you haven’t. Not really. Just… hand stuff. Just skin and muscle and spit and heat.

But his voice? It’s not filthy when he says it. It’s awestruck. Like he’s seeing a fucking shooting star. Like it’s something to be whispered.

Your mouth.

It echoes weird in your head. Bounces off all your internal walls.

You blink up at him, eyes dragging from the handjob, and you look at his face.

And the expression there?

Jesus. He looks like he’s praying.

Not to God. Not even to you. To the feeling. To the moment. To the idea of your mouth on him.

And for some reason, your voice is already moving before your brain can catch it. “What do you want from my mouth?”

You don’t say it cute. Don’t coo. You’re not flirting. You’re daring. Like if he says something you don’t like, you’ll bite down instead of suck.

He blinks. Laughs, almost. Not like it’s funny—more like it surprised him. The way you said it. Like you slapped him with your voice.

Then, low and kind of incredulous: “What do you think I want, Nix?”

And he grins when he says it. Real slow. Not smug. Not sleazy. Just… real. Like that’s the stupidest question you’ve ever asked and he’s giving you a minute to catch up. To get there on your own. Like maybe you’re the dumb one for asking when the answer’s right there, hard and twitching and shiny in your grip.

You glance up through your lashes because fuck it, might as well lean into the trope while you’re down here. Might as well make it mean something.

And you swear to god—something inside him glitches.

Like his whole respiratory system shorts out. You hear it, barely—a tiny gulp, some micro sound buried deep in his throat like a trapped hummingbird. 

Fragile and desperate. 

Faint little flutter.

But it’s real.

Like a ‘fuck’ slips out of the space around you. Not even from his mouth. Just—exists.

As if the universe itself groaned.

And you know he felt it too because he looks at you like you just made the sun blink.

His hand lifts again, slow.

Fingers curl gently around your face, brushing the hair out of your eyes—not rough, not fast. Just… precise. Like he needs to see you. Like eye contact is currency and he’s suddenly flat broke.

You don’t move. Just let him. Let his thumb skim your cheek. Let his gaze drag over your face like it’s got weight behind it. Like you’re something he doesn’t want to blink away from.

And then—his voice. Low. Warm. Calm in that way that feels like it’s trying to keep a leash on something unhinged underneath.

“Suckle the crown a bit while you keep your hand moving. Up and down. Not fast, just… keep rhythm.”

You blink. 

That phrasing. 

Suckle.

What the fuck is he, a medieval warlord?

Still.

Your pulse stutters.

Because he says it like he’s thought about this. Like it’s not just a ‘hey, mouth on cock now’ moment, but something he’s imagined. 

Something he’s replayed in his head with specificity.

“Focus on the tip. You don’t gotta go all in yet. Just use your tongue. Like… tease the slit a little. Then suck around it. Not too hard. Gentle. Like you’re figuring it out.”

Your brows twitch up just slightly, but you nod.

Because yeah. Okay. That you can do.

And your hand’s still on him—hasn’t left. Just slick and steady, lazy little drags up and down his shaft with your thumb gliding right under the head like he showed you.

You shift forward. Let your lips ghost over the tip. Let him feel your breath first. Not teasing, not on purpose. Just… checking the temperature.

You feel the tension ripple through his thigh when you finally close your lips over him—soft, just the crown. Mouth warm and wet as it envelops the head, not too much suction yet. Just heat.

And then—yeah. You suckle. Gentle at first. Not a full draw, more of a tug.

His reaction is immediate.

Lips part. Chest jerks up half an inch.

One of those sounds again. Low. Raspy. A curse swallowed before it could hit air.

Your hand doesn’t stop. You keep it moving—slow pumps that glide down, then back up, thumb still catching that spot he likes every time you reach the top.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, voice low and rough around the edges. “That’s it. That’s—fuck—that’s the perfect pressure. Mmhm. Yeah.” 

His words come in stilted bursts, like they’re being dragged out of him against his will. 

“Keep… keep moving your hand while—ughhnn—keep sucking the tip.”

You do as he says because what else are you supposed to do? You’re not about to stop now—not when he’s making noises like that, not when his cock twitches every time your tongue flicks over the slit. 

But there’s this nagging thought in the back of your mind, this tiny voice that won’t shut up: 

Why isn’t he telling you to take the whole thing already?  

Isn’t that what most guys want? The whole deep-throat porn star routine? You’ve read enough smut (done it a couple times too) to know how this is supposed to go—or at least how it usually does. 

But Jungkook

He seems… content. Like he’s not in any rush to shove himself down your throat.  

Maybe he doesn’t want to rush it? Or maybe he’s just weird like that?  

Your eyes flick down to your hand. Analyze the movement. The rhythm. The way your fingers wrap around him, snug and slick, dragging up and down with just enough pressure to make him twitch but not enough to push him over. 

You remember how he did it. The angle. The squeeze. The way his thumb skimmed that spot under the head like it was a fucking button.

You mimic it again. Just to see.

And that’s when he exhales. Soft. Controlled. Like he’s trying not to let it out but can’t help himself. 

The sound drips from his lips like water hitting a rooftop—quiet, but sharp. A little hiss of breath that makes your thighs clench.

Then—

“Look at me.”

It’s not a command. Not barked. Just… said. Low and even. Like he’s asking for something simple. Like it’s no big deal.

But you don’t.

You kind of… ignore him. 

Not on purpose, really. 

It’s just—you’re embarrassed now, okay? 

You don’t want to look up and see his smug face while you’ve got his tip in your mouth like some idiot who doesn’t know what she’s doing. So you keep your eyes trained downward, focusing on the task at hand (and mouth).  

“Nix,” he says again, more pointed this time. “C’mon. Eyes up.”  

You want to bite him for that tone alone—like he’s daring you or something—but reluctantly, you glance up through your lashes. More of a glare than anything else because fuck him for making demands right now.  

He huffs out a laugh at your expression, shaking his head slightly like you’re hopeless or something equally annoying. 

“No, not like that. Like… big. Wide.” He pauses for half a second before adding with a grin: “Make your eyes pop.”  

You pull off his cock with an audible pop of its own because what the actual fuck is he talking about now? 

Your brows knit together as you scowl up at him, and he looks back at you with those stupid boba eyes of his—round and inquisitive like he doesn’t realize how ridiculous he sounds right now.

“Make them pop?” you echo, incredulous. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

He looks at you. Blinks once. Then shrugs, like he’s just now realizing how stupid he sounds.

“I don’t know, man. Just—make ‘em all wide and cute.”

You stare.

Then scoff. Loud. Disbelieving.

“You want me to look dumb and innocent while I suck your cock? That’s what you’re into?”

His eyes widen. “No—Jesus, no. Not like that.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Seriously? Because you sound like a creep.”

He groans. “God, you’re always so fucking blabbermouthed.”

“And you’re always so fucking vague,” you shoot back.

He glares at you. “I don’t mean, like—virgin vibes, okay? I mean that look you get. When you’re being a little shit. When you’re pushing buttons and pretending you’re not. That’s what I like.”

You blink. Your mouth opens. Then closes again.

He leans forward slightly, voice dropping. “I want you to suck my fucking cock like it’s all you want, while pretending you’re not sucking my soul through it. That’s what I’m talking about. Not some weird creepy thing.”

“Oh.” 

You blink once before pursing your lips thoughtfully again. 

“…Okay.”

Because okay indeed. You know what he means.

You hate that you know what he means.

He rolls his eyes, but his cock hasn’t softened. If anything, it’s thicker now. Heavier. The head flushed a deeper pink, veins more prominent. Like he gets off on arguing with you. Like this whole back-and-forth is foreplay.

And maybe it is. He’s already said twice he likes it when you’re mouthy.

Is this what he wants? You pretending you don’t know what you’re doing while you absolutely do?

You take a deep breath before shifting forward again—this time making a conscious effort to widen your eyes as much as possible while looking up at him through your lashes.

Big and round and innocent or whatever. Like you have no idea what effect this is having on him—even though the way his breath catches in his throat tells you exactly what kind of power you hold right now.

And yeah… maybe this is what he wants: you, pretending not to know exactly what you're doing while totally knowing anyway.

So that’s what you give him.

Wide eyes locked on his face as your lips part once more—and then slowly close around the head of his cock again.

And then, your hand moves faster.

Not sloppy. Not rushed. Just—more. More pressure, more rhythm, more confidence. Like your body’s finally synced up with his. Like you’ve figured out the exact tempo that makes him twitch and grunt and grip the couch like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to earth.

And he’s feeling it.

Hard (okay that was kinda funny, don’t deny it). 

You can tell by the way his thighs tense under your palms, muscles flexing every time your fist glides down his shaft and back up again. By the way his abs jump when your thumb flicks under the head. By the way he’s breathing now—through his teeth, through his throat, like he’s trying not to make noise but losing the battle.

You keep your mouth soft around the tip. Suction just enough to make it wet and warm and tight. Tongue moving in slow, deliberate waves underneath—right there, under the crown, where he’s taught you he’s most sensitive. 

And it’s funny, because you can feel it. The way he jerks every time your tongue drags across that spot, the way his cock pulses in your mouth like it’s trying to say yes, that, again, more.

And you don’t stop.

You keep eye contact, too. Big, wide, innocent. Like you’re not doing anything special. Like you’re just here, hanging out, casually ruining his life with your mouth.

He looks down at you, and his face is—fuck.

Wrecked.

Brows scrunched, mouth half open, eyes glassy like he’s buffering. Like his brain’s trying to load the next thought but keeps getting stuck on your lips.

Then he groans.

Low and guttural and sharp, like it got dragged out of his chest with a hook.

“Oh my—fffuckkkk—”

His voice breaks halfway through the word, like his throat just gave up. His hand shoots out, grabbing the back of the couch, knuckles white.

“Fuckin’—god, Nix—”

You swirl your tongue again, slow and mean, and he whines.  Actually whines. Like a kicked puppy. 

“I’m gonna—” he pants, hips twitching up into your fist, “—I’m gonna bust a fat nut, I swear to god—”

You snort around him. Can’t help it. The phrase is so fucking stupid, so him, and so hot in the dumbest possible way.

He hears it. Groans again. Throws his head back against the couch cushion and drags a hand down his face like he’s trying to physically hold himself together.

“Don’t laugh at me, you little—fuck, that tongue—”

You do it again. That wave motion. Just to be a menace. Just to see if he’ll break.

He does.

"Y-you have no idea," he pants, Adam's apple bobbing frantically as he swallows between words. "No fucking clue what you do to me when you—hnngh—when you stare up at me with those goddamn eyes while my cock's in your mouth."

His voice is all over the place now. Cracked. Desperate. Like he's trying to keep it together but you're not giving him a single inch of relief.

"Angel," he breathes, and okay, that’s a first (but at least it’s not ‘baby’, ew?) "You're gonna make me cum so hard. So fucking hard I might black out."

Your tongue flicks again—right against that sensitive bundle—and his whole body jerks like you've touched a live wire.

"Christ,” he hisses through clenched teeth. "I can't—I can't even—"

You keep going.

Hand stroking faster. Tongue teasing. Mouth suctioning just the tip, just the crown, just enough to make him lose his mind.

"Nix," he warns, voice strained and desperate. "I'm right there. Right fucking there. You're about to make me—"

His cock pulses against your tongue, the tip growing impossibly harder, slick and hot and heavy in your mouth as his whole body gets visibly ready to detonate. 

“Nix,” he pants, voice raw and desperate. “Nix, I’m—I can’t—fuck, I’m gonna—”

His breath catches. Swallowed back like it’s too big to spit out. His whole chest stutters with it, like the air’s too thick to pull in, like the pressure’s building faster than he can handle.

“Y’tongue,” he gasps, barely coherent, hips twitching up into your fist. “Stick—god, god god—stick it out f’me. Stick that pretty tongue out f’me, Nix. C’mon—”

You don’t hesitate. You just do it. Mouth popping off the head with a wet little tsk, tongue sliding out slow and flat, glistening with spit and still tinged with the taste of him. 

You hold it there, just like he asked.

And he groans.

“Look at—” he starts, but you’re already there. 

Already staring up at him with those same wide, round eyes he asked for. 

Tongue out, lips parted, face tilted up like you’re waiting for it.

He jerks forward, one hand flying to his cock, wrapping around himself and taking over. 

Fast. 

Rough. 

Desperate

Like he’s been holding back too long and now he’s got seconds left before he combusts.

“Yeah—ahhh—shit—ah—ah—fuck—”

And then—he breaks. Makes these little grunting, bitten-off noises—like he’s trying to hold them in but can’t. Like every spasm punches another sound out of him. Cums. Hard.

Hot, thick ropes strip across your face—cheeks, lips, chin. 

Some of it hits your tongue, sticky and salty and obscene. 

It drips down your jaw, slides over your skin in messy, wet streaks, and he’s still going. Still twitching. Still jerking himself through it like he’s trying to drain every last drop.

“Oh my god—” he chokes out, voice cracking. “Oh my fucking god—”

His head tips back, eyes blown wide and mouth slack with disbelief.

“You have the prettiest fucking eyes, Nix.”

And he sounds so, so wrecked while he says it, that you can’t help but believe him.

Like it’s the filthiest thing he’s ever said. Or maybe the most honest. 

You don’t know why your chest twists into knots. 

You don’t know why his eyes, hazed, dizzy, looking down at you is suddenly one of your favorite views. 

But you did it. You excelled at it. 

And Jungkook liked it. 

That’s what matters. 

He gives his cock a few lazy strokes, working the last drops out like he’s wringing water from a sponge, chest rising and falling in slow, heavy breaths.

Your eyes catch on the faint sheen of sweat on his collarbone and the way his lips are parted just enough for his tongue to dart out to wet them.  

“Fuck…” he mutters. “Fucking hell.” 

Another breath, deeper this time, like he’s trying to find his footing again. 

“That was fucking amazing.”  

You smile—small, sly, the kind of smile that doesn’t need to try too hard. 

“That easy, huh?”  

He snorts, running a hand through his hair, pushing it back from where it’s fallen into his eyes. 

“When you’ve got a mouth like yours? Yeah.”  

The compliment shouldn’t make your cheeks warm. It’s just Jungkook being Jungkook, all cockiness and shameless flirting. But still, you feel a flutter of… something. 

Pride, maybe. Or just the lingering high of having him completely at your mercy.

You push yourself up from your knees slowly, legs stiff from being on the tile for too long. There’s a moment where you think he might reach out to steady you—his hand twitches like it’s considering it—but he doesn’t. Just watches as you stand and brush your hands down your thighs like that’ll somehow make this whole thing feel less messy.  

“Gonna clean this mess up,” you say, already turning toward the bathroom before he can respond.  

“Want me to help?” His voice follows you—soft but not hesitant. Like it’s just something he’d offer anyone without thinking twice about it.  

You pause mid-step, glancing over your shoulder at him. 

He’s still seated on the couch, pants and boxers shoved down his hips, shirt rumpled and sticking to his skin in places. He looks ridiculous and hot at the same time—like someone who just got thoroughly wrecked but hasn’t quite figured out how to pull himself back together yet.

And for some reason—maybe because he asked so easily—you feel your throat tighten awkwardly.

“Uh…” You hesitate, fingers brushing against the edge of the doorway as you try to find the right words. “No. No, I’m fine.”  

He doesn’t say anything at first—just purses his lips slightly and nods like he’s accepting your answer even if he doesn’t entirely believe it.  

It should be awkward, but it’s… not. Not entirely. Just unfamiliar. 

New territory you’re not sure how to navigate.

“…But thank you,” you add quickly before darting into the bathroom like a coward.

When was the last time you thanked Jungkook for anything?

You lean against the door for a moment, eyes closed, trying to process what just happened. Not just the blowjob—that part’s easy enough to compartmentalize—but the rest of it. 

Not the banter either, you do that too. 

The almost-friendly moment afterward.

It felt… nice. Easy, even. 

Like maybe being friends with Jungkook wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Maybe that’s why you step out after cleaning your face, instead of hiding in your room like you normally would. 

Maybe that’s why your eyes search for his as you enter the living room.

He’s already sprawled out like nothing happened. One arm stretched across the back cushions, legs spread wide in that annoying way men always seem to take up space. He’s even cracked one of the floor-to-ceiling windows open, letting in a cool breeze that’s slowly clearing out the lingering scent of sex.

Griffin’s curled against his side, purring loudly as Jungkook absently scratches under his chin. The cat gives you a lazy blink when you appear, like he knows exactly what you’ve been doing and is judging you for it.

You clear your throat, crossing your arms over your chest. Your eyes drift to the TV—some car restoration show you don’t recognize playing—before finding their way back to him.

“So,” you start, the word hanging awkwardly in the air between you. “Do you have plans this afternoon?”

He looks up, one eyebrow quirked in mild surprise. “After you get off work, you mean?”

“Yeah.” You shift your weight, suddenly feeling awkward. “I’m done at five.”

Why is this awkward? You just had his dick in your mouth, for fuck’s sake. Asking about his schedule shouldn’t feel more intimate than that. 

“No plans.” His fingers continue their gentle scratching behind Griffin’s ears, the cat purring so loudly you can hear it from where you’re standing. “Why? You offering something better than my thrilling agenda of watching YouTube guitar tutorials and ordering takeout?”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no real annoyance behind it. “There’s this new exhibit at the MoMA I’ve been wanting to check out. Photography thing.” 

You shrug like it doesn’t matter either way. Like you’re not actually inviting him to do something that doesn’t involve getting naked. 

“Thought maybe you’d be into it. Being a film major and all.”

“Phoenix wants to hang out with me? Voluntarily? Without the promise of orgasms? I’m shocked.”

“Forget it,” you mutter, already turning toward your room. “It was just a thought.”

“Hey, no—wait.” He sits up straighter, disturbing Griffin who gives an annoyed meow. “I’m in. The photography exhibit sounds cool.”

You pause, glancing back at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nods, and for once, there’s no teasing edge to his voice. “I’ll meet you after work? We could grab dinner after, if you want.”

“Sure.” You try to sound casual, like this isn’t the first time you’ve made actual plans together. “There’s this place in the East Village I’ve been wanting to try. Nothing fancy, just… food.”

“Food is good. I’m a fan of food.” He grins.

“Great. I’ll text you when I’m done.” You head toward your room, needing to get ready for work. 

“Sure, Nix.”

As you close your bedroom door, you can’t help but wonder what the hell you’re doing. This feels suspiciously like the friendship you’ve been so adamantly avoiding. 

But maybe—just maybe—it wouldn’t be the end of the world to actually enjoy his company with your clothes on for once.

Besides, you need to keep him occupied until eight. Yoongi had been very specific about the timing when he texted you this morning about Jungkook’s surprise birthday dinner.

Keep him out until 8. Taehyung and Hobi are setting up. Don’t mention ramen.

And yet, he hasn’t even spoken about his birthday to you. 

What kind of person doesn’t mention their own birthday? 

The same kind who makes protein pancakes and pretends everything’s fine when it’s clearly not, probably.

You check your phone. 9:15. Plenty of time to get ready for work and figure out how to navigate this strange new territory where you and Jungkook do normal people things together. 

Like friends.

The word still feels foreign, uncomfortable. 

But not entirely wrong.

Chapter 20

Summary:

"You were not expecting to really enjoy the MoMA exhibition, but Jungkook looks so interested and in his element that his energy is contagious. Even with a IUD in your uterus staging mutiny, and him trying to evade your questions throguh a DIY bracelet shop."

Notes:

Hello, my beloved kikizens. If you’re reading this… I’m most likely abroad, roaming the earth like the girlboss nomad I pretend to be on Instagram, while in reality I’m crying over the outline of chapter 23 in the Notes app and eating overpriced airport pastries. Yes. I wrote this ahead of time. Yes. I am the most responsible irresponsible person you’ve ever met. Time traveling author note from Past!Kiki, sending love and ibuprofen to Future!You. Let’s hope the plane didn’t crash because, if so, Fuck Me Up Jungkook is now your responsibility. Please keep him fed and slightly emotionally constipated, just as I left him.

NOW. LET'S TALK. This chapter. THIS CHAPTER. We are entering the land of slow burn intimacy and micro-shifts in character dynamics that make me froth at the mouth. I need to scream about it. I am screaming about it.

AND JUNGKOOK. THAT BASTARD. Being respectful?? Giving her space while still being present?? Letting her lead and following her cues like a man who understands autonomy and emotional nuance??? Jail. Absolute jail. He’s so annoying and so HOT about it. I love writing him because he’s cocky and feral and dumb, but also deeply perceptive and compassionate when it counts. Like okay yes he's a little insufferable, but also, he's the kind of man who listens when you talk about your reproductive health without flinching and I think that's worth something.

Also. Let’s talk about the bracelets. Phoenix and Rogue. Fire-coded losers who pretend they don’t care while making color-coded matching jewelry??? WHO SAID YOU COULD BE CUTE. WHO SAID.

Anyway. This chapter is the beginning of a shift. A very soft shift. We’re not in love yet. We’re not even close. We are in that horrible, confusing, liminal space where friendship might be possible eventually but everyone’s still too scared and too stupid to say it out loud. They’re not friends yet. But they’re getting there. We’re watching in real time as they learn each other’s pressure points—what to push, when to pull back. It’s very ugh my chest hurts but also my heart is fluttering kind of vibe. Which is my favorite thing to write. Obviously.

Now. To talk about me, because I love attention: I’ve only been posting for a few months and I’m already overrun with WIPs like some kind of literary hoarder. It’s a problem. I start stories, then my ADHD bitchass brain says “new shiny idea???” and next thing I know I’m drowning in three AUs, an enemies-to-lovers high school AU I wrote at 3AM, and a secret smutty one-shot I can’t stop thinking about. It’s a whole ecosystem of chaos. But I do want to write them all. I do. I just also want to nap. And read. And rot.

So yeah. I think about y’all waiting for updates more than you know. I stress about it. I chew on it like emotional gum. My Spirk fic hasn’t updated in two months and it haunts me in my sleep. But I’m trying to accept that writing is better done when it feels good, not when I’m spiraling in guilt. So. If I ever start something and it takes me ages to finish, just know I do want to get there. I just move at the speed of depression and distraction.

AND A GENTLE REMINDER: this is a slow burn. A SLOW slow burn. Not the kind where they kiss in chapter 5 and you pretend it’s slow because they didn’t bang yet. No. I mean they will not start catching actual feelings for a while. There will be distractions. Other people, love interests. Awkwardness. Denial. You will watch them flounder. You will scream at your phone. You will think “surely they must realize it now,” and I will look you in the eyes and say, “no. no they do not.” Because the point is the journey. The point is the becoming. Not the kissing. (Okay fine also the kissing. But later.)

We are 20 chapters in, and I am being so serious when I say we are maybe… 20% into the full story. If that. I want to go all the way. From strangers to roommates to fuckbuddies to friends to best friends to oh my god it was you all along. I want to write every beat. Every change. Every stupid, messy, human moment. And yes. We will suffer. You, me, Nix, Jungkook, Yeji, Taehyung, everyone.

So I'd say sorry, but let's be honest, if you’re here right now—chapter 20, still with me—I know what kind of sick little freak you are. Masochist. You're not fooling anyone.

And I adore you for it. Thank you for choosing violence with me. Thank you for loving these two idiots. Thank you for reading. I mean it. So much.

Okay. Enough rambling. Go read. Go cry. Go scream. Tell your friends. Tattoo “Phoenix x Rogue” on your ass if you feel so inclined.

Mwah.

Chapter Text

Books have always been your lifeline in a world that feels like it's trying to drown you.

You've loved them for as long as you can remember, though you can't pinpoint the exact moment they became your refuge. It wasn't a dramatic epiphany or a life-changing event. Just a gradual realization that between the pages of a book, you could breathe easier. 

Kafka speaks to the part of you that feels constantly out of step with the world (though you'd never admit that to Taehyung—his smug "I told you so" would be unbearable). 

Murakami paints surreal landscapes that make your own reality feel a little less suffocating. 

And now Donna Tartt, because you're tired of Jimin's scandalized gasps every time you confess to not having read her yet.

You weren't the stereotypical bookworm growing up. No thick glasses perched on your nose, no disdainful sniffs at the mention of pop culture. You didn't turn your nose up at Harry Styles concerts or roll your eyes at school dances. 

But even as you navigated the treacherous waters of adolescence—first periods and friendship fallouts, the constant drama of simply existing as a teenager—books were always there. 

A constant, even if sometimes pushed to the background.

They became your armor when the weight of expectations threatened to crush you. When disappointment hung heavy in the air, threatening to send you away in a chokehold, you'd retreat into worlds made of paper and ink. 

It was easier to face fictional monsters than the very real ones lurking in parent-teacher conferences and college application deadlines.

Now, standing amidst the shelves of Barnes & Noble, surrounded by the comforting smell of new books and possibility, you can't help but feel a sense of belonging. Like you've come full circle. From the little girl who used to hide under her covers with a flashlight, devouring stories long past bedtime, to the woman who's made words her life's work.

It's not always easy. 

Sometimes the words on the page blur together, your mind too full of real-world worries to lose yourself in fiction. 

But even then, the weight of a book in your hands is grounding. 

A reminder that there are always other worlds to explore, other lives to live, if only for a few hundred pages.

Maybe that's why you're here, arranging displays and recommending titles to strangers. 

Because somewhere out there is another person drowning in expectations, desperate for a lifeline. 

And maybe, just maybe, you can be the one to hand them the right book at the right moment—help them with their very own small act of rebellion against a world that sometimes feels too heavy to bear.

Mark hovers nearby as you arrange a new display of bestsellers, lanky frame, loose shirt and baggy pants. He's the one who picked up your application when you and Yeji came in last week—the one with the kind eyes and the nervous habit of clutching his hands together every five seconds.

Blonde, blue-eyed. You’d dare say he’s not bad-looking. For a man.

"So basically," he explains, voice pitched low like he's sharing state secrets instead of retail procedures, "most days you'll either be on register, floor assistance, or shelving. Today you're just shadowing me on the floor."

Floor assistance, as it turns out, is mostly wandering around looking approachable (but not too approachable) and occasionally directing lost souls to the bathroom or the manga section. You're also expected to straighten displays, check for misplaced books, and maintain what Mark calls "the Barnes & Noble aesthetic."

"Which means?" you ask, adjusting a copy of the latest Sally Rooney that's slightly out of alignment with its siblings.

"You know," he shrugs, hands doing that awkward hovering thing again, "like... cozy but sophisticated. Inviting but not cluttered."

You nod like this makes perfect sense, though privately you think it sounds like the kind of bullshit corporate memo someone got paid way too much to write.

"What about recommendations?" you ask. "Do we have any input on displays or—"

"Oh, totally!" His face brightens. "We each get to curate an employee picks shelf. You can start working on yours next week."

That, at least, sounds promising. 

Already your mind is cataloging possibilities—perhaps a mix of classics and contemporary, maybe something unexpected thrown in. Definitely not the usual suspects everyone claims to have read but hasn't.

And just like that, the morning quickly blurs into afternoon. 

Your tasks are the same all day: shelving, straightening, and following Mark around as he points out the minutiae of bookselling. It's mindless work, but not unpleasant. There's something soothing about putting things in order, about knowing exactly where everything belongs.

By the time your lunch break rolls around, you've settled into a comfortable groove. The break room is empty except for you and your sad turkey sandwich, the ancient TV in the corner playing a rerun of The Office. One where Jim is pulling some elaborate prank on Dwight. You find yourself smiling despite the mediocrity of your lunch.

The afternoon passes in much the same way—quiet, uneventful, almost peaceful. You help an elderly woman find the latest Louise Penny mystery. You alphabetize a section of poetry that looks like it's been hit by a tornado. You dust shelves that probably haven't seen a feather duster since Obama was president.

And then, suddenly, it's 5 PM.

You glance at your phone, mildly surprised that eight hours have passed without a single customer meltdown or retail horror story. No one has asked to speak to your manager. No one has tried to return a clearly read book with coffee stains on page 47. No one has even approached you with one of those vague "I'm looking for a book with a blue cover about a thing that happens" requests.

In fact, you've barely interacted with customers at all. It wasn't your turn on register, and most browsers seemed content to wander without assistance. 

It's been... nice. 

Quiet. 

The kind of job where you can disappear into your own thoughts for stretches at a time.

You could get used to this, you think, clocking out and grabbing your bag from the locker. 

Maybe it won't be the soul-crushing retail experience Yeji warned you about. Maybe you've lucked into the unicorn of part-time jobs—one that pays the bills without completely draining your will to live.

Or maybe it's just the first-day honeymoon period, and next week you'll be dealing with entitled parents who think the children's section is a free daycare.

Either way, as you push through the employee exit into the early evening air, you feel a strange sense of… accomplishment? 

Surely, it's not saving lives or changing the world, but you can’t deny it’s satisfying; a day spent surrounded by books, putting things in order, creating small pockets of calm in a chaotic world.

And now, apparently (because God forbid the universe lets you forget) you have plans. 

With Jungkook, of all people. 

The thought should make you anxious.

It doesn’t.

You check your phone and see his text:

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚊? 𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 

You scan the street and spot him leaning against a lamppost, scrolling through his phone, looking unfairly good in a simple black t-shirt and jeans. Your roommate. Your sometimes-hookup. Your... friend?

The word still feels strange, but maybe it's time to try it on for size.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚒'𝚖 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚞

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚊𝚜 1𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚙𝚙𝚕

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚘 𝚒'𝚖 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚠𝚒𝚗

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚊𝚛 𝚗𝚒𝚡

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚝𝚠

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚛 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒'𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚛𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 🙄

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚌

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚟

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚑𝚝𝚘

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚒 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚞 𝚋𝚝𝚠 𝚒𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚡 

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚗𝚘 𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚖𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚞 𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚝𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚢 𝚊𝚏

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚢 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚑𝚝𝚘

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚞 𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗 𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚘𝚔 𝚋𝚢𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚞 𝚒𝚗 𝟹𝟸𝟷

You spot him leaning against the lamppost, scrolling on his phone like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders relaxed, black t-shirt fitting just right—not too tight, not too loose. It’s casual. Effortless. 

And yeah, you’ve seen him in casual before—sweats, pajamas, even that stupid hoodie he refuses to throw out—but this is different. This is casual street Jungkook in the wild, outside the apartment. 

Casual street Jungkook who’s here with you to do something normal and non-sexual and… friendly.

He looks good. But then again, you already knew that. There’s a reason you fuck him despite his infuriating personality. 

Even when he says things that make you want to strangle him with his own belt.

He catches sight of you approaching and grins, that stupid lopsided grin that’s all teeth and confidence. 

“Hey,” he says, voice light like this is just another day.

You don’t respond. Don’t even look up from your phone as your thumb swipes through apps in search of Maps. 

“We have a twenty-minute ride from Union Square to the MoMA,” you say flatly. “The exhibit starts in thirty-five, so let’s go.”

“Sure,” he says easily, pushing off the lamppost with a lazy shrug. “What line?”

“N, Q, R—whichever comes first.” You finally glance up at him as you say it, but only briefly. Just long enough to catch the slight raise of his eyebrows before he nods.

“Okay.”

And then you’re walking side by side toward the subway entrance like this is normal. Like this isn’t the first time you’ve agreed to spend time together without sex as the unspoken endgame.

The stairs down to the subway are crowded—typical for a weekday evening—and you both swipe your cards at the turnstile without a word. There’s a guy pissing in one corner of the station (because of course there is), and Jungkook widens his eyes in a grimace like he’s trying to wipe away the sight of it. You don’t comment, just keep moving toward the platform like nothing happened.

It shouldn’t feel awkward. It’s never been awkward with him before—not even when things got messy or complicated or downright stupid between you two. 

But now? 

Now it feels like there’s this invisible weight hanging between you, pressing down on every step you take together.

Maybe it’s because he brought up that whole “trying to be friends” thing this morning—friends who have expectations, and expectations lead to disappointment, and disappointment leads to losing control.

Or maybe it’s because now that he said it out loud—now that he put friendship on the table—you can’t stop overthinking every little thing about this outing. 

What does he expect from you? Does he want small talk? Does he want silence? Is this supposed to feel casual or meaningful or something else entirely?

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye as you both stop near the edge of the platform. He’s standing close but not too close—hands still in his pockets, gaze fixed on some ad plastered across the opposite wall. He doesn’t look uncomfortable or tense or anything remotely resembling how you feel right now.

Which makes sense because Jungkook never overthinks anything. He just does whatever feels right in the moment and deals with the consequences later (if at all). 

It’s one of the things that drives you crazy about him—and maybe one of the things you secretly envy.

The train isn’t here yet, so now what? Do you say something? Ask him about his day? Pretend this is normal and fine and not at all weird for you?

“So…” Your voice comes out hesitant—too hesitant—and you immediately hate yourself for it. 

Nice going, stupid bitch.

He glances at you but doesn’t say anything right away, waiting for you to finish whatever thought you’re trying (and failing) to articulate.

“What did… what did you do?” You clear your throat awkwardly, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as if that’ll somehow make this less painful for both of you. “Until… y’know… five?”

His lips twitch like he’s fighting back a smirk—like he knows exactly how much effort it took for you to ask such a simple question—and for some reason that makes you want to shove his head against the next train.

“Not much,” he says finally, his tone casual but not dismissive. “Watched some YouTube tutorials. Tried making sourdough again.”

You blink at him. “Sourdough?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, like baking bread is just a totally normal thing for someone like him to do in their free time. “Didn’t come out great though.”

“Oh.” 

You don’t know what else to say to that—to him—so instead you just nod and glance down at your phone again like there’s something urgent demanding your attention.

But then, as if destiny decided (for once) to make things easier for you, the train arrives with its usual screech of brakes and rush of stale air, saving you from having to come up with any more awkward small talk on the platform.

So you step onto the train together—side by side but not touching—and you can’t help but wonder if this whole ‘trying to be friends’ thing is going to be harder than either of you realized.

Inside Jungkook moves instinctively to the metal bar overhead, reaching up to steady himself as the train lurches forward. You follow suit, your fingers wrapping around the same bar just a few inches away from his.

It’s fine. It’s normal. People share subway bars all the time. Nothing weird about it.

Except your hand shifts slightly as the train rounds a corner, and suddenly your pinky brushes against his. Just barely—a fleeting touch—but it’s enough to make you freeze for half a second.

And… 

You don’t look at him. 

You refuse to look at him. 

Because if you do, you’ll see that stupid smirk he always gets when he knows he’s gotten under your skin, and you’re not sure you can handle that right now.

But then his hand shifts too—like, on purpose?—and his pinky brushes yours again. 

Softer this time. 

Lingering.

Your stomach twists in a way that feels equal parts annoying and… something else you don’t want to name. You glance up at him despite yourself, ready to snap something sarcastic or dismissive or whatever it takes to make this moment feel less charged than it suddenly does.

But he’s not smirking. He’s just… looking at you. Calmly. Quietly. Like this is nothing more than two people sharing a subway bar in a crowded train.

And maybe it is nothing. Maybe you’re just overthinking it because that’s what you do—because every little thing with him feels like it carries more weight than it should.

Still, when his fingers shift again—this time curling slightly so the side of his hand presses against yours—you don’t pull away. 

You don’t say anything either, just let your fingers relax against the bar as the train rattles onward.

It’s small. Subtle. Barely even noticeable in the grand scheme of things.

But somehow, in the cramped chaos of the subway car—with strangers pressed against you on all sides—it feels like the quietest moment you’ve had all day.

You don’t look at him again—not directly—but out of the corner of your eye, you catch the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. Not cocky or teasing or anything remotely resembling his usual expressions.

Just soft.

And for some reason, that makes your throat tighten all over again.

You never expected to find Jungkook beautiful.

He stands in front of a massive black and white photograph with his head tilted slightly and dark brown eyes narrowed in concentration.

The lightning inside the space makes everything feel way more thought-provoking than it actually is. All you notice, really, is how it deepens the line of his jaw, the slight furrow between his eyebrows. His lips, and how they move silently, like he's having some private conversation with the image before him.

Stupid, handsome motherfucker. Why does he exist in your space?

You've seen him naked. You've seen him laughing so hard he nearly falls off the couch. You've seen him half-asleep and grumpy at 6 AM.

But you've never seen him like this—completely absorbed, genuinely focused on something that isn't getting laid or annoying the shit out of you.

"The composition is fucking incredible," he says without looking at you, gesturing at the photograph. "See how they've used negative space to draw your eye to the subject? And the depth of field is so deliberate—keeps you just slightly off-balance."

You blink, caught off guard by the sudden technical analysis. Since when does Jungkook know smart words?

"You actually know about photography?" It comes out more surprised than you intended.

He turns to you then, one eyebrow raised. "Film major, Nix. Kind of comes with the territory."

"Yeah, but—" You stop yourself, not sure how to articulate that you assumed his interest in film was mostly about looking cool and impressing girls.

"But what?"

"Nothing," you mutter, moving closer to the photograph. "Just didn't realize you paid attention in class."

He snorts. "I maintain my GPA through pure charm and good looks alone. No actual knowledge required."

You roll your eyes, but there's no real annoyance behind it. "Seriously though, you seem like you actually know what you're talking about. It's... weird."

"Weird that I'm not a complete idiot?" He steps back from the photograph, hands sliding into his pockets. "Gee, thanks."

"That's not what I meant."

He shrugs, already moving toward the next piece—a series of distorted portraits that seem to melt into one another.

"I just like this stuff. Always have."

You follow him, curiosity getting the better of you.

"Since when?"

"Since forever," he says, stopping in front of the portraits. "My mom was into photography. Had this old Pentax she used to carry everywhere. Taught me how to develop film in our bathroom when I was like, eight."

His voice always turns weirdly soft when his mom is involved. It makes you pause.

This is the most he's ever shared about his family, you realize.

You're not sure whether to press further or let it go.

Before you can decide, he continues, "These portraits are using multiple exposure. See how the faces blend together? It's like—when you overlay two negatives, you get this ghost effect. The new digital stuff makes it easier, but there's something about doing it on actual film that hits different."

His enthusiasm is... surprising. And weirdly contagious. You find yourself leaning in closer to see what he's pointing out, actually interested in the technical explanation.

"The photographer probably used a really slow shutter speed too," he adds, gesturing at the blurred edges of the subjects' features. "Makes movement look like this—sort of ethereal, you know?"

You don't know, not really, but you nod anyway.

Because his voice picks up speed when he talks about this, his hands do slightly more animated movements as he explains, and there’s genuine passion coloring his words and it’s…

It's... different. Seeing him care about something so much.

"What?" he asks suddenly, catching you staring at him.

You hadn't realized you were. Heat creeps up your neck, and you look away quickly.

"Nothing."

"Nah, you were looking at me weird."

"Just..." You shrug, aiming for casual. "You're a huge nerd, that's all."

He blinks at you, then barks out a laugh. "Wow. I share my vast knowledge and expertise, and that's what I get?"

"Vast knowledge? Your head barely fits in the room as it is."

"That's it," he declares, turning away dramatically. "I'm not explaining anything else. Figure it out yourself, philistine."

You swat at his arm, fighting a smile. "Oh come on, I was joking. Keep nerding out. It's..." Cute? Interesting? Surprisingly not annoying? "...Educational."

He gives you a suspicious look but seems mollified. "Fine. But only because I'm generous with my brilliance."

You snort, following him to the next piece. "So generous."

And it's strange, this feeling—this easy back-and-forth that doesn't have the usual sharp edges.

For a moment, it almost feels like you could be friends. Real friends, not just roommates who occasionally fuck and mostly argue.

The thought is so unexpected that it—

Pain.

Sharp and sudden, like someone stabbing a hot poker into your lower abdomen. Your breath catches, body instinctively curling in on itself.

Your hand flies to your stomach as another wave hits, this one even more intense than the first.

It's the IUD again—has to be. But this is worse than before. Much worse.

You stop walking, one hand gripping the nearby wall for support as you try to breathe through it.

Just breathe. It'll pass. It has to.

It doesn't.

The third wave nearly brings you to your knees, a cold sweat breaking out across your forehead.

Jungkook makes it several steps before realizing you're no longer beside him. He turns back, eyes falling on your hunched form, and his expression shifts instantly from relaxed to concerned.

"Yo, what's wrong?" He's back at your side in three quick strides, voice pitched low but urgent.

You shake your head, not trusting yourself to speak yet. Just need a minute. Just need to breathe.

"Phoenix?" His hand hovers near your elbow, not quite touching. "Hey, talk to me. What's happening?"

"It's—" Another stab of pain cuts you off, and you bite down hard on your lip to keep from making a sound. "It's nothing. Just—cramps."

His frown deepens, eyes scanning your face.

"Bullshit. You look like you're about to pass out."

"I'm fine," you insist. "Just give me a second."

The lie tastes bitter on your tongue, but the alternative is worse.

Admitting weakness? Letting him see you crumble?

Absolutely fucking not.

Your uterus twists again—sadistic little organ—and you clench your jaw so hard you're surprised your teeth don't crack.

Breathe. Just breathe. You've handled worse.

(Have you, though?)

He's hovering now, that frown cutting deeper between his eyebrows, and you hate it.

Hate how his eyes flick over your face, cataloging symptoms.

Hate how his hand lifts halfway toward you before dropping back to his side, like he's afraid to touch you without permission.

"Ibuprofen," you manage, the word strained but determined. "I just need some ibuprofen."

"Nix, you seriously look like you're about to pass out—"

"Ibuprofen," you cut him off, sharper this time. "Seriously. I'll be okay. Just need. Ibuprofen."

You're not going home. Not happening.

You just got this fucking copper IUD on Wednesday—of course it's being a bitch. Three days of cramping is normal, right? Has to be.

And this is your first real attempt at being normal humans together, plus it's his birthday and Yoongi's expecting you to keep him out until eight. Your goddamn uterus is not ruining this.

A particularly vicious cramp rips through you, and you have to bite down on your lip to keep from making a sound. Jungkook notices, because of course he does. His eyes narrow, jaw working like he's physically biting back whatever argument he wants to make.

Finally, he sighs—loud, frustrated, dramatic in that way only he can be.

"Okay."

The surrender in his voice shouldn't feel like a victory, but it does. Even as another cramp threatens to fold you in half.

"Okay," he repeats, softer. "Let me see if I can get you one. Just—wait here, alright?"

He wraps his fingers around your elbow, not gripping, just guiding, and you let him because walking feels like a monumental task right now. .

Focus. One foot, then the other.

There's a cushioned bench a few feet away. A kid sits at one end, maybe seven or eight, swinging his legs and staring at the floor with the bored expression of someone dragged to a museum against his will.

Jungkook walks you toward it, his hand steady on your arm.

"Hello," he says to the boy, voice gentler than you've ever heard from him. "Sorry, my friend over here is in pain and really needs to sit down."

The kid looks up—first at Jungkook, then at you—eyes widening slightly. He doesn't say anything, just scoots over, fingers drifting to his mouth as he continues to stare.

"Thanks, buddy," Jungkook says, helping you sit.

You sink onto the bench, the relief immediate but not enough. It still feels like someone's playing Operation with your insides, fishing out organs with a pair of rusty pliers.

Jungkook lingers for a second, hesitant.

"You sure you'll be okay if I—"

"Go," you grit out, not trusting yourself to say more.

He gives you one last look—concerned, frustrated, something else you can't name—before turning and striding away with purpose, disappearing around a corner.

And then it's just you, the kid, and the agony twisting through your abdomen.

Great. Fantastic. You can't even make it through one normal human interaction without your body staging a fucking rebellion.

Every time you try to—what? Be a decent person? Spend time with someone who isn't Yeji? The universe laughs in your face.

The kid is still staring at you, blue eyes huge in his small face. You force what you hope is a reassuring smile but suspect looks more like a grimace.

"Your face is becoming white," he says matter-of-factly.

"Thanks," you mutter. "I'm aware."

"Like a ghost," he adds helpfully. "Are you gonna throw up?"

Jesus Christ. This is your life now. Being assessed by a tiny human while your reproductive system wages war against the rest of your organs.

"No," you say, though you're not entirely sure that's true. "Just need some medicine."

"My mom says medicine is for when you're really sick," he informs you, kicking his heels against the bench. "Are you really sick?"

Another twist of pain, and you have to close your eyes for a second.

"Something like that."

"Is that man your boyfriend?"

God, children and their questions. No filter, just an endless stream of curiosity with no regard for social niceties.

You should lie.

Should say yes, it would be simpler than explaining the complicated mess that is you and Jungkook.

"No," you say instead. "Just a... friend."

The word still feels strange. Foreign. Like you're saying it in a language you barely speak.

"Oh." The kid looks disappointed. "He looks like a superhero."

Despite everything—the pain, the frustration, the growing concern that the gyno didn't warn you about this level of copper IUD hell—you almost laugh.

Because Jungkook? Oh he would fucking love that. His ego is already the size of Manhattan; the last thing he needs is child-based validation of his supposed heroism.

"More like a supervillain," you mutter.

The boy's eyes widen further. "Really?"

"No, not really. Just a regular person who's..." You pause, not sure how to finish that sentence.

Annoying? Complicated? Stupidly attractive even when he's being insufferable?

"...helping me out."

You press your palm harder against your abdomen, hoping the pressure will somehow counteract the pain. But truthfully, it doesn't. If anything, it's getting worse, spreading from your core outward until your lower back aches and your thighs feel weak.

This can't be normal.

Well, maybe it is.

You've never had an IUD before—what the hell do you know?

Clearly should've read beyond the first page of that pamphlet they gave you, but you were too busy trying not to think about the actual insertion part.

"I have lots of friends," the kid announces proudly. "But none of them are girls."

He wrinkles his nose like this is the most disgusting concept imaginable.

Despite everything—the pain, the frustration, the knowledge that this day is slowly derailing—you almost smile.

"Girls aren't so bad."

He shrugs, unconvinced. "They like stupid stuff."

"So do boys."

"Nuh-uh. Boys like cool things. Like dinosaurs."

"Girls can like dinosaurs too."

He considers this, head tilted.

"I guess. My sister doesn't though. She just likes her stupid boyfriend." The contempt in his voice is impressive for someone whose feet don't touch the floor.

You're saved from further insights into his sister's love life by Jungkook's return. He's walking toward you with a small paper cup in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, his expression still caught between concern and that strange new softness.

"Got you covered," he says, dropping into a crouch in front of you. "They had a first aid station. Ibuprofen and water."

You take the pills and water with hands that shake slightly, downing them quickly.

"Thanks."

He sits beside you on the bench, close but not touching—some sort of distance that feels both considerate and maddening.

You realize now Jungkook is not one to push boundaries. Not when they’re firm, not when you’ve made them clear. Like when you told him this thing between you two stayed between you two and he just accepted it.

"Should take about twenty minutes to kick in," he says, voice low and even.

You nod, focusing on your breathing.

In and out. Slow and steady. Just get through this. You've handled worse.

(Have you, though? Because right now it feels like your insides are trying to claw their way out.)

"We can go home," he offers, so subsided it's almost comical coming from him. "If you want."

"No." The word comes out sharper than intended, and you soften it with, "No, I'm fine. Just need a minute."

He doesn't argue, just nods like he expected this answer.

Of course he did.

He knows you're stubborn, knows you hate showing weakness, knows you'll suffer through just about anything to avoid admitting you can't handle it.

The silence stretches between you, but it's not uncomfortable. Not exactly. It's... waiting. Patient. And you note how his knee bounces slightly, the only sign of restless energy in his otherwise still form.

"Thanks," you say again, quieter this time.

He glances at you, surprise flitting across his features.

"For what?"

"For not..." You gesture vaguely, searching for the right words. "Making it a thing."

His lips twitch, almost a smile but not quite.

"It's your body, Nix. Your call."

Something warm and unexpected unfurls in your chest at that—at the simple acknowledgment of your autonomy, your right to decide how to handle your own pain.

He could push. Could insist on taking you home, on calling a doctor, on making decisions for you "for your own good."

It's what most people would do, have always done, their concern overriding your independence.

But he doesn't.

Just sits beside you, a quiet presence in the middle of this mess, respecting your boundaries even as his knee keeps bouncing with what you suspect is concern he's trying not to voice.

It's... nice. Weird, but nice.

The kid on the bench has gone quiet, watching both of you with curious eyes. His mother appears suddenly, a harried-looking woman with a museum map clutched in one hand.

"Aiden, there you are! I told you not to wander off." She gives you and Jungkook an apologetic smile. "Sorry if he bothered you."

"He's fine," Jungkook says, easy and casual. "Just keeping us company."

Aiden slides off the bench, taking his mother's outstretched hand.

“They're friends," he informs her solemnly. "But not boyfriend and girlfriend."

His mother looks mortified. "Aiden!"

"It's okay," you manage, fighting back a laugh that would probably hurt like hell. "He's just observant."

Aiden's mother drags him away, his sneakers squeaking against the polished floor as he waves one last time.

And then it's just the two of you, sitting in silence on a bench in the middle of the MoMA like you belong there. Like this is normal.

All the while, the pain persists, still twisting through your abdomen.

Jungkook hums quietly—something soft and melodic that takes you a moment to recognize.

John Mayer. Of course it's fucking John Mayer.

Your gaze drifts to the floor, tracing the patterns in the polished concrete as another thought forms, heavy and insistent.

Should you tell him? About the IUD?

He's worried. You can see it in his eyes, the way his fingers tap restlessly against his thigh, the occasional glance he throws your way when he thinks you're not looking.

But he's not pushing. Not demanding explanations or insisting on taking you home.

Because that's not what he does.

He suggests, offers, hints... but never forces. Never demands.

Just accepts whatever you're willing to give, even when it's clear he wants more.

This morning he talked about being friends. About sharing things. About being more than just roommates who occasionally fuck and mostly argue.

Maybe this could be a first step. A tiny gesture toward whatever it is he's proposing.

But also...

Also what if you tell him and he smirks? Makes some stupid joke about how you wanted him raw that badly?

You know how quickly he covers discomfort with humor, how reliably he turns to sexual innuendo when a moment gets too real or too heavy.

And this moment is nothing if not heavy.

But overthinking it is getting you nowhere, and the silence is stretching too long, becoming its own kind of weight.

So you take a breath, summon what little courage the pain hasn't eaten away, and speak.

"I got an IUD." The words come out soft, hushed, almost hoping he won't hear them. "Wednesday."

His head tilts toward you, and you brace yourself. Wait for the snort, the smirk, the inevitable sexual commentary that will make you regret this tiny moment of trust.

But it never comes.

He just sighs softly, a small shrug lifting his shoulders.

"That's good."

Your eyes drift to him, confusion replacing the defensive tension you were building, because what does he mean?

He meets your gaze, then looks back at the photograph on the wall.

“I mean, it's good you're taking care of yourself. Your sexual health." Another shrug, this one smaller. "That's good, Nix."

Something in your chest loosens—a knot you didn't realize you were holding tight.

It's... not what you expected. Not from him.

Not from anyone, really.

"Yeah, well." You shift on the bench, wincing as the movement sends a dull throb through your lower abdomen. "Not feeling particularly great about it at the moment."

His lips quirk, not quite a smile.

"Pain that bad?"

"Like someone's playing Operation with my insides, but they're losing."

A soft laugh escapes him. "Fucking brutal."

"Pretty much."

Another stretch of silence, but this one feels different. Lighter, somehow. The pain is still there, but it's muted now, less all-consuming.

"Copper or hormonal?" he asks, voice casual like he's asking about the weather, not your reproductive choices.

You blink at him, genuinely surprised.

"You know the difference?"

"I do actually pay attention in health class, Phoenix. Plus, you know. Been with people who've had them."

"Copper," you answer, focusing on the question instead of whatever that feeling was. "I had a feeling hormones would mess with me."

He nods like this makes perfect sense. "Those are the ones that hurt more at first, right? Take longer to settle?"

Again, that surprise. "Yeah. How do you know that?"

"My ex." He shifts slightly on the bench, angling more toward you without actually moving closer. "She had one. Copper. Cramped like hell the first few months."

"Months?" The word comes out more alarmed than you intended.

His eyes widen slightly. "Not like, continuously. Just periodically. Mostly when she got her period. It got better though. Less intense over time."

"Great," you mutter. "Something to look forward to."

"Sorry." He winces. "Not helping, am I?"

"Not really, no."

"Do you..." He hesitates, eyes scanning your face like he's checking for warning signs. "Do you regret getting it?"

The question catches you off guard. Not because it's invasive—it's actually pretty reasonable given the context—but because of how genuinely he asks it. Like he really wants to know what you think. Not to judge, just to understand.

"No," you say after a moment. "No, I don't regret it. I wanted it. Chose it. This—This is just the shitty part. It'll pass."

"And this is something you want? Long-term?"

You nod, a little less certain than before but still sure enough.

"Yeah. I like not having to worry about it. Worth some pain now."

"Make sense. That's... smart." He tilts his head, that thoughtful look you rarely see crossing his features. "Planning ahead."

"One of us has to," you say without thinking.

His eyebrows shoot up. "Ouch. Direct hit, Nix."

"Sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Nah, it's fair." He cuts you off with a small laugh. "I'm not exactly Mr. Responsibility."

The self-awareness surprises you.

"You're not that bad."

"I’m not?”

“Okay I take it back.”

He chuckles.

The pain stabs again, sharper this time, and you can't quite hide the wince. His expression shifts immediately.

"Need to move around? Sometimes that helps."

You consider it. Sitting here isn't doing much except letting you focus on how much it hurts.

“Maybe."

"Think the ibuprofen's kicking in at all?"

His eyes scan your face, and you wonder what he sees there. Probably not the composed, controlled person you're trying to project.

"A little. It's not as bad as before."

"That's something." He stands, offering a hand but not insisting when you ignore it and push yourself up on your own. "We could head to the next gallery? Or go back to the one with that series you liked—the urban decay stuff."

The fact that he noticed which photographs caught your interest earlier shouldn't feel significant. It's just basic observation. Nothing special.

But it does. Feel significant, that is.

"Let's try the next one," you say, taking a tentative step. The pain doesn't immediately floor you, which is an improvement. "Slowly, though."

"No rush." He falls into step beside you, hands shoved in his pockets in that casual way he has, like he's completely at ease no matter where he is.

You nod, trying not to think about the surprise dinner. Trying even harder not to think about the stupid Mayer vinyl you bought him and the fact that all his film bros will be there.

"Thanks," you say after a few steps. "For not being weird about the IUD thing."

He glances at you, something almost like surprise flickering across his features before settling into a small smile.

“Nothing to be weird about. It's your body, Nix. Your choice."

"Yeah, but." You struggle to articulate what you mean. "Most guys would make some gross joke or get all squirmy talking about it."

"I'm not most guys."

"Okay pick me boy."

“And here we go again.” He snorts.

“Hey, you’re the one who said that generic ass shit.”

"Uh-uh, so," he says, deliberately casual as you round the corner into the next gallery space. "How do you feel about Mayer?"

You groan, shoving him lightly.

"I knew it. I fucking knew you were humming that shit on purpose."

He laughs, the sound warm and surprisingly genuine.

"Gravity is a classic! You can hate on the man all you want, but you can't deny the music."

"Watch me."

And just like that, you're arguing about John Mayer in the middle of the MoMA, the pain still there but somehow less important than this stupid debate about whether "Your Body Is A Wonderland" is the worst song ever written or just mostly terrible.

It's strange. Unexpected. Almost... nice

Maybe this friend thing isn't completely impossible after all.

New York smells different right before sunset.

The city air mellows somehow. Still dirty, still chaotic, but softer now. Like the golden hour light filtering through the buildings is actually changing the molecular structure of everything it touches.

Or maybe that's just the ibuprofen finally kicking in and making life worth living again. Hard to say.

Your phone pings as you walk beside Jungkook, the busy street full of that weird liminal energy between work day and evening. People rushing home, people headed out, everyone caught in that transitional space of not-quite-done and not-quite-started.

It's Yoongi, his message simple and direct:

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝙷𝚘𝚠’𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐? 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚔?

You glance at Jungkook, who's completely absorbed in his own phone, thumbs tapping absently against the screen.

Focused. Unaware.

Perfect.

You send back a quick thumbs up emoji, ignoring the follow-up questions Yoongi's already typing. The less you engage, the less likely you are to give something away.

6:30 PM.

Just over an hour until you need to steer Jungkook to the ramen place for his surprise. An hour to fill without either dying from secret uterine rebellion or accidentally revealing the plan.

You slide your phone back into your pocket and lean slightly to see what's so captivating on Jungkook's screen.

Not that you care. Just curious. Normal curious, not weird curious.

Instagram?

He's editing a photo—one of the abstract architectural shots he took at the museum when you weren't paying attention.

It's actually... pretty good.

The photo highlights the sharp angles of the stairwell, light cutting through the space in a way that transforms something mundane into something almost ethereal.

"You have a photography Instagram?"

He startles, immediately angling the phone away from you with the guilty reflex of someone caught looking at porn in public.

"Yeah, but it's nothing important. Just, you know. Silly stuff."

That's... suspicious. Jungkook doesn't do self-deprecation, not about things he's clearly good at.

He's the first person to brag about his skills, his looks, his whatever. The fact that he's downplaying this is weird.

"What silly stuff?" You raise an eyebrow, trying to peer around his shoulder at the now-hidden screen. "Show me."

"No, seriously, it's no big deal." He actually puts his phone in his pocket, which is basically equivalent to locking it in a vault given how attached he usually is to the thing. "Just a hobby."

"Since when are you shy about anything?" You nudge his arm with your elbow, oddly intrigued by this sudden reluctance. "Come on, I’ll show you mine, you show me yours."

"Not everything has to be an innuendo, Phoenix."

"That wasn't—" You stop yourself, because okay, that did sound suggestive. "Come on, I let you drag me through an entire photography exhibition. The least you could do is let me see your supposed 'silly' photography Instagram."

He's not looking at you now, eyes fixed somewhere to the left, scanning the street like he's searching for an escape route.

Then his face changes, relief washing over his features as he spots something across the way.

"Hey, wanna check that out?"

He points toward a small storefront wedged between a vintage clothing shop and a bubble tea place. The sign reads 'String Theory: DIY Jewelry & Crafts' in quirky hand-painted letters.

"A bracelet shop?" You follow his gaze, genuinely confused by the abrupt change of subject. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, why not?" He's already moving toward the crosswalk, clearly eager to leave the Instagram conversation behind. "Could be fun."

"Since when do you care about DIY bracelets?"

He shrugs, the movement a little too casual to be genuine. "Since right now. Come on, Nix. Live a little."

You narrow your eyes, suspicious of this sudden interest in arts and crafts, but follow him anyway.

 Because in all honesty… The distraction isn't unwelcome—you've still got an hour to kill, and arguing about his secret Instagram account wasn't exactly on your agenda for the day.

Plus, whatever he's hiding must be good if he's willing to make friendship bracelets to avoid talking about it.

You approach the shop, and it is small but bright, walls lined with colorful spools of thread, beads in every imaginable shape and size, and an assortment of charms that range from the typical (hearts, stars, moons) to the bizarre (tiny plastic dinosaurs, miniature food items, and what appears to be a collection of famous dictators' faces).

A twenty-something with purple hair and more piercings than you can count greets you from behind the counter.

"Welcome to String Theory! Let me know if you need help finding anything."

Jungkook nods in acknowledgement, already wandering toward a display of leather cords and metal clasps. You follow, still puzzled by this whole detour.

"So this is what we're doing now? Making friendship bracelets?" You pick up a spool of neon green thread, turning it over in your fingers. "Is this your way of making our friendship official? Should we be getting cards and flowers too?"

He snorts, examining a tray of silver charms with unexpected interest.

"If anyone's getting flowers in this scenario, it's me. I'm high maintenance."

"Yeah, no shit."

He glances at you, that familiar half-smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“We don't have to stay if you don't want to. Just thought it might be..." He trails off, shrugging again in that way he does when he's trying to seem indifferent.

"What? Entertaining? A good way to avoid showing me your Instagram?"

"Both." He picks up a small wolf charm, turning it over in his fingers. "But mostly I thought it might be fun. You know, do something with our hands that isn't..."

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

"And there's the innuendo. I was wondering how long you could go without making it weird."

"About thirty seconds, apparently." He sets the charm down, moving on to a collection of colored stones. "So, you want to make something or not?"

You consider it.

On one hand, making bracelets seems like a throwback to summer camp or middle school sleepovers—not exactly your usual Saturday night activity.

On the other hand, you've got time to kill, and it's oddly... refreshing to see Jungkook interested in something so innocuous.

Plus, you're still curious about that Instagram account, and maybe if you play along with this diversion, he'll eventually let his guard down enough to show you.

"Fine." You grab a small plastic basket from a stack near the entrance. "But I'm not making anything with your name on it, so don't get any ideas."

"Wouldn't dream of it." His smile widens into something more genuine. "Though I bet you'd rock a ‘Kuko 4-Ever' bracelet."

"I'd rather die, thanks."

You move along the wall, selecting threads in deep blues and purples because they're pretty, not because they remind you of the way Jungkook's hair sometimes looks in certain light. That would be stupid.

"So," you say casually, examining a tray of small metallic beads, "are you going to tell me about this secret Instagram account or what?"

He sighs, the sound more resigned than annoyed. "It's not secret. It's just... separate."

"Separate from what?"

"From me. From Jungkook. It's just a creative outlet, okay? Nothing special."

"But good enough that you don't want to show me."

He looks at you then, really looks at you, and there's something unexpectedly vulnerable in his expression.

"It's not that I don't want to show you. It's just... people get weird about it."

"Weird how?"

"They either think it's pretentious or they make too big a deal out of it." He moves to another display, this one filled with various charms. "It's easier to just keep it separate."

You follow him, curiosity piqued even further.

 Jungkook, who walks around the apartment half-naked without a second thought, who leaves his dirty laundry in the most inconvenient places possible, who has absolutely no qualms about sharing the explicit details of his sex life—this same Jungkook is suddenly shy about his photography?

"I won't make it weird," you offer, surprising yourself with the sincerity in your voice. "Promise."

He looks skeptical. "You make everything weird, Nix. It's your special talent."

"Fuck off." You snatch a small charm from the tray without really looking at it—something circular with delicate metalwork. "I can appreciate art without being weird about it."

"It's not really art. Just photos."

"Of what?"

He hesitates, fingers tracing the edge of a tray.

 "Mostly urban stuff. Architecture. Shadows. Light. Some nature." A shrug. "Just things I find interesting."

"That actually sounds cool."

He glances at you like he's checking for signs of mockery, then seems to decide you're being genuine.

"Yeah, well. Maybe I'll show you. Someday."

It's not a yes, but it's not a hard no either.

You'll take it.

"Cool." You move to the register, where the purple-haired employee is arranging a display of finished samples. "So how do we actually do this bracelet thing? I haven't made one since I was like, twelve."

"You think I have?" Jungkook laughs, setting his basket beside yours on the counter. "I'm flying blind here too."

The employee—Ash, according to their name tag—smiles.

“That's what I'm here for. What kind of bracelet are you thinking? We've got traditional friendship styles, leather wraps, beaded, charm..."

"Whatever's easiest," you say at the same time Jungkook says, "The coolest one."

Ash's smile widens. "How about a leather cord with beads? Simple but looks great."

"Sounds good," Jungkook agrees, emptying his basket on the counter. "Can we work on them here?"

"Absolutely. Let me set you up at the table in the back."

As you follow Ash toward a small workshop area in the rear of the store, your phone buzzes again. You check it discreetly.

𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢. 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚢 𝟾. 𝚑𝚘𝚋𝚒’𝚜  𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜.

You glance at the time.

6:45 PM.

Just over an hour left of... this. This strange, not entirely unpleasant detour into something that feels almost like friendship.

You slip your phone away before Jungkook can see, ignoring the small voice in the back of your mind that wonders what other secrets he might be keeping, and why you suddenly care so much about finding them out.

Ash sets you up at a small wooden table pressed right against the front window.

"So, what are we making?" Jungkook asks, already rummaging through his selection of beads like a kid sorting Halloween candy.

You don't answer immediately, an idea taking shape as you run your fingers over the threads and beads scattered across the table. Your eyes catch on the small containers of alphabet beads near the edge of the table, then drift to the vibrant collection of orange, red, and yellow beads in various shapes and finishes.

Perfect.

You pull the alphabet containers closer, fishing out specific letters: P, H, O, E, N, I, X. Setting them in a neat line in front of you, you reach for more: R, O, G, U, E.

Jungkook watches, brows drawing closer together as he pieces together what you're doing.

When recognition hits, he laughs—short and surprised.

"Okay, seriously? You're making Phoenix and Rogue bracelets now?"

You shrug, reaching for the orange, red, and yellow beads, arranging them between the letters.

"What? Hell yeah. We already branded each other, might as well make it something to remember each other by."

"You think I want to walk around with a bracelet that says 'Rogue' on my wrist?"

He looks genuinely baffled, like you've suggested he tattoo your face on his ass.

"I don't care what you do with it." You roll your eyes, already threading through the first bead. "I'm making mine."

He snorts, but instead of arguing further, he actually helps you sort through the letter beads, pushing the ones you need closer. Then, to your surprise, he reaches for the same fiery-colored beads you've been using.

"What?" he says, catching your look. "If we're doing this ridiculous twin bracelet thing, they might as well match."

"I thought you'd go for all black or something."

He shrugs, picking out a particularly vibrant red bead.

"Rogues can be fiery too. Besides," he adds with a half-smile, "these are my colors."

"Your colors?"

"Yeah." He lays out a pattern—red, orange, yellow, just like yours. "Warm tones. Bold. Kind of obnoxious if you use too many at once."

"Sounds like someone I know," you mutter, and he chuckles.

Your fingers work almost automatically, threading beads onto the leather cord. You're not being symbolic on purpose. It just looks nice.

When you glance up, Jungkook is staring at his own pile of beads, expression oddly distant.

He's rolling a small sun charm between his fingers, back and forth, like he's trying to make a decision.

"What?" you ask, because his silence feels weird.

He shrugs, the motion feeling slightly too forced on him.

"Nothing. Just..." He sets the charm down, picks up a red bead instead. "I actually had one of these. A bracelet. When I was a kid."

This feels like something—a small piece of himself he's offering without being pushed.

So you keep your tone light when you ask.

"Yeah? What kind?"

"Leather, like this." He picks up one of the cords, wrapping it around his wrist to measure before cutting it. "With these bright beads my mom found at some market. Reds and oranges, kind of like these. I wore it until it literally fell apart."

"How old were you?"

"I don't know. Ten? Eleven?" He shrugs again. "Young enough that it was still cool, not lame."

"And now?"

His eyes flick up to yours, then away. "Now what?"

"Is it lame now?"

His expression wavers, tightening around the mouth.

"Nah, it's whatever." He starts threading red and orange beads onto his cord, precise and quick. "Just not something guys usually wear, you know? Unless they're trying to be edgy or something."

"Since when do you care about what's 'usually' done?"

He laughs, but it sounds different than his normal laugh—a little hollow, a little forced.

"Fair point."

You work in silence for a few minutes, with some accompanying sounds; like the soft click of beads and the occasional muttered curse when you drop one.

A yellow bead rolls across the table toward Jungkook, who catches it easily.

"Thanks," you mutter as he hands it back.

"No problem." He pauses, looking at the half-finished bracelet in his hands. "I lied, by the way."

"About what?"

"My mom didn't find the beads." He keeps his eyes on his work, not looking at you. "I did. She just helped me put it together because I was too small to handle the clasps."

Something about the way he says it makes your chest tighten—like this isn't just a random childhood memory but something… soft.

Something he doesn't share often.

"That's sweet," you say, matching his tone. "You don't talk about your mom much."

He tenses, and you inwardly curse yourself.

"Not much to say."

That's a lie if you've ever heard one, but you don't push. Whatever this is—this small opening, it feels fragile. Like pressing too hard would make him shut down completely.

"Mine would've hated this place," you offer instead. "Too messy. Too handmade. Not enough structure."

His lips twitch, almost a smile.

"Mine would've loved it. She was always into this crafty shit. Had a whole room full of art supplies back when..." He trails off, shakes his head. "Anyway. How's yours coming?"

The abrupt subject change is obvious, but you let it slide.

"Almost done. Just need the clasp."

You hold up your creation for inspection. It's nothing fancy—just a simple leather cord with 'PHOENIX' spelled out in silver letter beads, filled with the fiery colored ones you picked.

But it looks kind of cool, in a childish, summer-camp sort of way.

Jungkook leans forward to look, his expression warming.

"Not bad, Nix. Very on-brand."

"Let me see yours."

He hesitates, then holds out his own bracelet. It's just like yours to match, with 'ROGUE' spelled out in metal letter beads. But he’s added a small sun charm that catches the light when he moves.

"Shit," you say, genuinely impressed. "Yours is way better than mine."

He shrugs, but you can tell he's pleased by the compliment.

“I have an eye for design. Part of my many talents."

"And so humble, too."

"Humility is overrated." He sets his bracelet down, reaching for the clasps Ash left for you. "Here, let me help you finish yours."

His fingers brush against yours as he takes your bracelet, the touch brief but somehow startling.

You watch as he attaches the clasp with surprising dexterity, tattooed fingers moving deftly, and it’s kind of attractive, really.

How good he is with his hands when he wants to be.

"There," he says, holding it out to you. "All set."

“Wait,” you announce, searching through the charms box.

You swear you had seen a rain charm earlier, and you had briefly snickered at it. But now that he’s wearing the sun charm it feels oddly… like yours needs to have the rain one, just to contrary him.

So you pick it up, add it to your bracelet.

And then you smile at him, show him.

He snorts.

You turn it in your hand. It feels solid, real. A physical manifestation of the nickname he gave you—the one that used to annoy you but now feels almost like a strange term of endearment.

Ash then approaches your table, a small fabric-lined box in her hands.

"All finished? Those look great!"

You both nod, holding up your creations for inspection.

"Phoenix and Rogue," she reads, smiling. "And they match! The fire colors work perfectly for both."

"Yeah," Jungkook says, and you're surprised by the hint of pride in his voice. "Kind of the point."

"Perfect timing, then," Ash says, setting the box on the table. "We're actually starting a new community art project. Would you be interested in contributing your bracelets?"

You frown, confused.

"Contributing how?"

"We're collecting handmade bracelets from customers to create a wall installation," she explains, gesturing toward a corner of the shop where several bracelets are already displayed on a corkboard. "It's part of our five-year anniversary celebration. Everyone who contributes gets a polaroid of their bracelet and a discount on their next visit."

"Oh." You look down at your bracelet, feeling an unexpected reluctance to part with it.

Which is stupid, because what were you going to do with it anyway?

Wear it?

That would be weird.

"You don't have to," Ash adds quickly, picking up on your hesitation. "It's totally optional."

"No, it's cool," Jungkook says, already placing his bracelet in the box. "I like the idea."

You glance at him, surprised again.

"You do?"

"Yeah. Creating something that stays here, becomes part of the place." He shrugs. "Better than it ending up in a drawer somewhere, right?"

There's something about the way he says it—like he's not just talking about the bracelet anymore—that makes you pause.

But then he's looking at you expectantly, waiting for your decision, and you place your bracelet in the box beside his, the matching colors side by side.

"For the record," you say as Ash takes a polaroid of your creations side by side, "I would've worn mine."

Jungkook's smile is slow and surprisingly gentle.

“Yeah?"

"Maybe not in public," you clarify quickly. "But yeah."

"Me too," he admits quietly, and it feels like he's sharing another secret—small but somehow significant. "Don't tell anyone, though. Ruins my image."

"What image? The one where you pretend to be cool but actually know an alarming amount about John Mayer's discography?"

"Exactly that one." He grins, the most genuine expression you've seen from him all day. "It's carefully curated."

Ash returns with your polaroid and receipt, both bracelets now part of the store's growing collection.

"Come back anytime to see them. They'll be here as long as we are."

"Thanks," Jungkook says, taking the polaroid and tucking it carefully into his wallet.

As you step back out onto the sidewalk, the city bathed in the deepening gold of late afternoon, you feel strangely light despite the lingering pain in your abdomen.

You reach for your phone to check the time, only to find your pocket empty.

"Shit," you mutter, patting your other pockets frantically. "My phone."

Jungkook stops mid-stretch.

"You lose it?"

"Must have left it in the shop." You're already turning back toward the door. "Wait here, I'll be quick."

"Want me to—"

"No, it's fine," you say, perhaps too quickly. "Just give me a second."

The bell chimes as you push back into the store, Ash looking up from behind the counter, eyebrows raised in question.

"Forgot my phone," you explain, gesturing vaguely toward the table where you were sitting.

"No problem. Take your time."

You move quickly to the table, eyes already scanning for your missing device.

Three minutes later, you're back outside, phone safely in hand. Jungkook's leaning against a lamppost, scrolling through something on his own phone.

"Got it?" he asks without looking up.

"Yeah."

You slip it into your pocket without checking the time.

"Ready?"

He pushes off the lamppost.

"Lead the way."

You start walking toward the subway entrance, mentally calculating the time. It must be around 7:20 now. Perfect timing to get to the restaurant by 8.

"Hungry?" you ask, as casually as you can manage.

Jungkook stretches again, arms reaching skyward in a motion that draws your eyes despite yourself.

"Starving. What did you have in mind?"

"I know a place," you say, already angling toward the stairs. "Trust me."

And the weird thing is, from the way he falls into step beside you without question, it seems like he actually does.

Chapter 21: birthday shots

Summary:

"Jungkook’s friends, Jungkook’s birthday party… It’s all honestly not what you expected. But then again, Jungkook keeps twisting your expectations of him, once and once again."

Notes:

Aaaand we're finally here. The party. The build-up. The chaos potential. The birthday. After 20 chapters of yearning, character dissection, awkward eye contact, and conversations that say everything and nothing at the same time... we are officially entering the next arc: actual real-world social interaction. Which, if you've been paying attention, is every character's personal hell. Including mine.

First of all—yes, this is Jungkook's party chapter. Yes, it's a pivotal one. Yes, I was pacing around my flat in a hoodie muttering "okay but what would he wear" like a deranged method actor trying to get into character. And yes, there are about 15 new people here. But please don't panic. You don't need to memorize them all. This isn't a fantasy war council. You're not about to be quizzed on the name of Jungkook's friend's cousin's dog. They're not here to steal the plot-they're here to color it. His different social groups, clashing and blending like some unhinged Venn diagram of his life.

They each say something about him and the many versions of himself he keeps-because, as always, this isn't about the party. It's about him and her, and us, and the very inconvenient reality of human attachment.

Now. Tessa (and yes, Toasty, when you read this... the name comes 100% from you hahaha).

Yup. That girl from the library. She's here. She's breathing. She's talking. And she's not a villain.

I know, I know, fanfiction is riddled with the evil-rival-love-interest trope. The girl who eyes you up and down with thinly veiled contempt. The passive aggressive bitch who "just happens" to sit on his lap or call him baby in front of you. The girl whose entire personality is "threat to the main couple." And listen—I could never.

Tessa isn't like that. Because most people aren't like that. Attraction doesn't automatically equal competition, and not every woman who talks to a man you like is an enemy. That's such a tired, flat, boring cliche. I'm not writing this story to project misogynistic tropes onto women so we can feel smug about someone else being
"the wrong one." I don't want you to root against her. I don't want you to root against anyone, really. Maybe Mia, but that's what she's for. She's your pressure valve. You need someone to hate. That's what makes the rest bearable. Tessa's presence is not a betrayal. It's just reality.

Jungkook is allowed to be liked. He's allowed to explore. And so is Nix. She's not some pushover sainted martyr of "true love." She's a girl. She's confused. She's a little guarded. She's still trying to understand herself.

There's no jealousy because there is no claim. There's no relationship, no commitment, no confessions, no secret “we're basically already in love" subtext. There's just this slow, painful, glacial slide into a kind of closeness that might one day become something else-but hasn't. Not even close. This chapter is about a possible beginning of something resembling tentative friendship. We are barely out of enemies-to-mildly-tolerating-each-other zone. We are in the "do I text you or is that weird" era.

Don't rush it. Don't expect it. That's not the story I'm telling.

Nix being unbothered isn't character growth. It's just honesty. It's consistency. I've spent 20 chapters building a girl who's emotionally guarded, private, and painfully aware of the dynamics she allows herself to engage in.
She's not "cool with it" to be cool-she's just not invested like that yet. And that matters. We're not jumping stages for drama. We're walking, slowly, through the psychology of two people who don't even know what they want. Let them be confused. Let them be messy. Let them take their time.

I'm writing slow burn with psychological realism at its core, and that means actions have context. If you came here expecting love confessions and possessive meltdowns and "he's mine stay away" drama... wrong story, babes. I want you uncomfortable. I want you squinting at every interaction wondering if it means something. I want you to question how affection develops, really. Slowly. Subtly. Almost invisibly, until it's all you can think about.

You don't need to like everyone. But you should understand them. And that's what I'm asking of you here. Because these characters aren't plot devices-they're real to me. They're studies. They're messy. And god, I love them for it.

So yeah. Welcome to the party. The masks are on, the music's loud, and no one knows how to behave when they're being watched. Especially him.

Enjoy. Suffer. Stare at the page like you're decoding a sacred text. That's the vibe.

And as always...

You're here to suffer. I'm here to deliver.

You're welcome.

Chapter Text

 

You never realized a person could contain so many versions of themselves until you saw Jungkook surrounded by his friends.

 

"SURPRISE!"

 

The word explodes through the small ramen shop, followed by cheers and laughter as Jungkook freezes beside you. 

 

His fingers quickly pocket his phone, eyes widening with a genuine shock that transforms his entire face. 

 

Gone is the perpetually amused, slightly condescending roommate you've come to know. In his place stands someone younger, almost innocent—lips parting in stunned delight, eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

It's fucking weird is what it is.

 

"Holy shit," he breathes, a laugh bursting from him as Taehyung launches himself across the restaurant, wrapping Jungkook in a hug that nearly knocks him over. "What the fuck?"

 

Hobi follows immediately, bouncing on his feet like an overgrown puppy before throwing his arms around both of them, turning the duo into a chaotic tangle of limbs and laughter. 

 

Even Yoongi gets up, offering a slow clap before joining with a more restrained but no less genuine embrace—the kind with back pats that guys do when they want to prove they have exactly two emotions: hungry and sports.

 

You hang back, suddenly aware of how many strangers are packed into this place. 

 

The restaurant is full of people—at least a dozen beyond the ones you recognize—all focused on Jungkook with varying degrees of excitement. Some are already raising drinks in toast, others taking photos, a couple shouting things you can't quite make out over the general chaos.

 

"P-Kill! Happy birthday, man!"

 

"Proofs! You made it!"

 

"Proofy, get over here!"

 

What the actual fuck are these names? 

 

You frown, trying to connect these bizarre nicknames to the Jungkook you know—the one who leaves his dirty dishes in the sink and plays his music too loud and once tried to convince you that Kraft mac and cheese was "technically gourmet."

 

None of this computes.

 

Jungkook catches your confusion as he disentangles himself from his friends, eyes flicking toward you with that familiar half-smile that somehow feels like a private joke.

 

"Hey," he says, suddenly at your side again. His hand brushes your elbow briefly—not grabbing, just a light touch that seems oddly grounding in this chaos. "These are my friends. Guys, this is my roommate."

 

He says your name easily, no ‘Phoenix’ or ‘Nix’ in sight, and it's weirdly jarring—like hearing a song you know played in the wrong key. 

 

Not technically wrong, just... off.

 

The next few minutes are a blur of names and faces, most immediately forgotten as you try to keep track of who's who in this bizarre alternative universe where Jungkook is apparently the center of a large social circle. There's a group of guys—gamers, apparently—who keep calling him those weird nicknames.

 

"These three idiots," Jungkook explains, gesturing toward a trio of guys who look like they haven't seen sunlight in months, "are my Steam friends. My username is ProofedToKill, so that's where all the dumb nicknames come from."

 

Of course, that tracks. He's always yelling at the TV when he plays Call of Duty in the living room. You've had multiple arguments about it, usually ending with him putting on headphones and you turning up your music out of spite.

 

"Don't start," he warns, but there's no real edge to it. "I've already heard all your anti-shooters propaganda."

 

"It's not propaganda if it's true."

 

He rolls his eyes but doesn't take the bait, already being pulled toward another group by Taehyung. 

 

"Come on, there are more people you should meet."

 

You follow, because what else are you going to do? Stand alone by the door like some kind of abandoned pet? 

 

Besides, you're curious now. Curious about these other fragments of Jungkook's life that you've never been privy to before.

 

The space is packed, noisy in that way that forces everyone to talk slightly too loud. Sensory overload city. People keep touching Jungkook—hugs, shoulder claps, high fives—and he's letting them, which might be the weirdest part of all this. 

 

Since when does he like being touched by people who aren't naked?

 

"Jungkook!" a female voice exclaims, cutting through the noise. A tall girl with auburn hair moves toward him with the confident grace of someone who's never tripped over her own feet in public. "Happy birthday!"

 

She wraps him in a hug that makes you realize just how tall she is—like, almost his height tall—and beside her, another girl—smaller, with short black hair and glasses—offers a more reserved greeting.

 

"Hey Tessa, hey Diana," Jungkook says, looking genuinely pleased to see them. "Didn't think you'd be here!"

 

Tessa

 

The library girl. The one he was doing that group project thing with.  The one who kept laughing too loud whenever Jungkook said something that probably wasn't even that funny.

 

"Taehyung invited us," she explains, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Hope that's okay."

 

"Of course it's okay," Jungkook says, and you hate how sincere he sounds. 

 

Where's the sarcastic asshole you live with? Who is this pod person?

 

"We brought you something," Diana says, holding out a small bag. "Just a little thing."

 

Jungkook accepts it with a thanks that sounds almost shy, and what the fuck? Since when is he shy about anything?

 

"Oh, this is my roommate," he adds, suddenly remembering your existence. 

 

He says your name again, and you force a smile because what else can you do in this bizarre social ritual?

 

"Nice to meet you," Tessa says with a warmth that feels genuine, which is almost worse than if she'd been fake. At least fake would make sense. "Jungkook's mentioned you before. You're in English Lit, right?"

 

He's talked about you? To her? 

 

What the fuck has he said?

 

"Yeah," you manage, because apparently your vocabulary has been reduced to monosyllables in the face of all this unexpected social interaction. "English major."

 

"That's amazing," she says, and she actually seems to mean it. "I'm in Film too, but I've always loved literature. What's your focus?"

 

Before you can answer—thank god, because you haven't prepared a thesis statement on your academic interests for a birthday party—Hobi appears with a tray of shots, announcing that it's time for the birthday boy to start celebrating properly.

 

So, of course, the whole crowd moves towards him, shots being thrown back easily. You find yourself suddenly on the outside of it, still standing with Tessa and Diana but no longer the focus of their attention.

 

It's a relief, honestly. 

 

You've never been good at this kind of thing—large groups, small talk, unfamiliar social dynamics. 

 

It's like being dropped into a play where everyone else knows the script and you're just… improvising. Kinda hoping you don't accidentally say the wrong line and reveal yourself as the impostor.

 

Your eyes wander around the restaurant, taking in the details you missed—it’s actually a cozy place, warm wood and soft lighting, with private booths along one wall and a long table down the center where most of Jungkook's friends have gathered. 

 

You can smell the sizzling of pans working through different ingredients—garlic, onion, ginger… But your eyes end up on Jungkook anyway.

 

He swallows down a shot, grimacing at the burn. 

 

Someone passes him another. 

 

Someone else claps him on the back. 

 

He's at the center of all this attention and he's... thriving in it. Laughing, talking.

 

It’s strange, seeing him like this. So carefree, so loud (although he’s always loud but this is a different kind of loud?)—so in his… element. 

 

You can’t help but feel out of place.

 

Because, truly. Do you even fit in here? Are you an element? Part of his element? Or whatever this is? 

 

This morning you were agonizing over whether you could be friends with the guy you've been fucking. 

 

Now you're standing in a room full of people who already are his friends, who've known him much longer than you have, who see a completely different side of him than the one you get.

 

It's... a lot.

 

You pull out your phone, needing something to do with your hands, but the screen stays dark. Okay. Dead. Fantastic.

 

"You okay?"

 

The voice at your elbow makes you jump. 

 

It's Jungkook, somehow back at your side despite the crowd still demanding his attention.

 

"Fine," you say automatically. "Just... observing."

 

His eyes scan your face, more perceptive than you'd like. "You look like you'd rather be literally anywhere else."

 

"Not true. I can think of at least three places that would be worse." You tick them off on your fingers. "The DMV. An insurance seminar. Dinner with my parents."

 

That gets a laugh out of him—a real one, one you seem to be getting out of him more and more often. 

 

“Fair enough. Come on, let me get you a drink. It'll help with..." 

 

He pauses, purses his lips as he tilts his head at you.

 

"With what, exactly?"

 

"The whole 'I'd rather eat glass than make small talk with strangers' vibe you're giving off."

 

"I'm not—" you start to protest, but he's already pulling you toward the bar, his hand warm against your lower back.

 

"It's fine, Phee," he says, the familiar nickname slipping out naturally now that you're momentarily separated from the crowd. "Not everyone's into the whole big social scene. You don't have to pretend."

 

You want to argue on principle—deny that he knows you that well, that he can read your discomfort so easily—but it would be pointless. 

 

He's right. 

 

You do hate this. 

 

And the fact that he noticed, that he came back to check on you instead of just leaving you to flounder on your own...

 

It's annoying. Or it should be. 

 

Instead, it feels weirdly considerate.

 

"I don't need a babysitter," you mutter as he flags down the bartender. "Go enjoy your party. I'm perfectly capable of standing in a corner judging people on my own."

 

"Maybe I'm enjoying my party more over here." 

 

He orders something you don't catch, then turns back to you with that half-smile that's somehow more familiar than the broad grin he's been flashing at everyone else.

 

“Besides, if I leave you alone too long, you might decide to ditch, and then who would I blame when I need an excuse to escape Hobi's karaoke demands?"

 

"Yoongi seems like a good scapegoat."

 

"Nah, Yoongi secretly loves karaoke. Just pretends to hate it so people will beg him. It's weird."

 

The bartender slides two glasses toward Jungkook—whiskey is one, by the look of it. 

 

The other one is… 

 

Vodka cranberry.

 

He remembers?

 

You lick your lips. Nervous suddenly. Maybe. Or not really. Just uncomfortable, because here it is again. Jungkook being attentive, doing these stupid kind things that completely shatter the reputation you have built for him in your head. 

 

"You really don't have to babysit me," you say again, but you take the drink anyway. "I'm fine."

 

His eyes search yours, more serious than usual. "I know you're fine. Maybe I just want to hang out with you."

 

Something shifts in your chest—a small, uncomfortable flutter. 

 

“Why? You have a dozen other people here who actually like you."

 

"Ouch." He presses a hand to his heart, mock wounded. "And here I thought we were making progress on the whole friendship thing."

 

"The jury's still out on that one."

 

"Uh-huh." He takes a sip of his whiskey, eyes never leaving yours. "Well, consider this evidence for the 'pro' column: I noticed you were uncomfortable and came to rescue you instead of letting you suffer in silence."

 

"Maybe I prefer suffering in silence."

 

"No one prefers suffering in silence, Nix. Some people just don't think they deserve better."

 

The way he says it makes something twirl uncomfortable inside your chest.

 

You take a large drink instead of responding, welcoming the burn as it slides down your throat.

 

“Make sure to finish that quickly. Get ready for the party games.”

 

"There are going to be party games?"

 

"That’s only the beginning."

 

"So," you say, swaying your glass slightly, watching the burgundy liquid catch the light, "ProofedToKill, huh? Didn't know I was living with such a badass."

 

"No? I thought you knew how badass I am.”

 

“You’re bad, and an ass. That doesn’t make you a badass. Different word.”

 

He laughs, low and warm, and you can’t help the smile that forms on your lips without conscious input.

 

"You know what it actually means?" he asks, leaning back against the wall. 

 

You raise an eyebrow. "That you're secretly a hitman with terrible grammar?"

 

"Hilarious." He rolls his eyes, but there's no real irritation behind it. "It's a baking term, actually."

 

"A what now?"

 

"Baking. You know, that thing people do with flour and heat instead of burning the place down.”

 

“If you bring up the candle incident one more time—”

 

He makes a zipping motion over his mouth, and your lips twitch with the effort of chuckling. 

 

“Wait, are you seriously telling me your super tough gamer name is about... baking?"

 

He sighs, looking down at his glass. "When you're making bread—sourdough specifically—there's this stage called 'proofing.’ It's when the dough rises, develops flavor. If you overproof it, it collapses. If you underproof, it's dense. But if you get it just right..."

 

"You've... proofed to kill?" you finish, unable to keep the disbelief from your voice.

 

"Exactly." He grins, clearly pleased that you've made the connection. "Perfect proofing. Killer bread. It's a whole thing."

 

You stare at him, genuinely speechless for perhaps the first time since you've known him. 

 

This man—this infuriating, cocky roommate who struts around like he owns every room he enters—has a gamer tag based on fucking bread-making. 

 

And he's admitting it. 

 

Voluntarily. 

 

"So let me get this straight," you say slowly. "Your badass online persona, the one all your friends call you by, is actually a baking pun?"

 

"In my defense, it's a really good pun. And most people assume it's about, you know, being good at shooting things. Which I also am." He shrugs, cockiness slipping back into place.

 

“You’re so weird,” you mutter, but you know he doesn’t take it seriously.

 

"Been doing it since college. The whole sourdough thing at midnight." He confesses, glancing around briefly, like he's checking to make sure no one else is listening, then lowers his voice. "My mom taught me. She had this whole recipe she'd developed over years, this perfect sourdough method. Made the best bread you've ever tasted."

 

Again that softness, almost reverence when he speaks about his mom. 

 

It always catches you off guard. You've never heard him talk like this before. Never heard him talk about his family at all, really.

 

"After she..." he continues, then stops himself, shaking his head slightly. "Anyway. I keep trying to recreate it. Haven't quite nailed it yet."

 

Neither of you speak for a couple of beats. His gaze is still fixed on his drink, and then he takes a sip, like his mind is somewhere else completely.

 

“Is that why you stress-bake at 3 AM? Trying to get the proof right?"

 

His eyes meet yours, surprised.

 

Maybe a little grateful for the redirect. 

 

“You’ve noticed?”

 

“I mean, I just went to the bathroom one night and saw you fighting the dough, so…”

 

He chuckles, gaze back on his glass. “Yeah. It's... meditative, I guess. Helps me think."

 

"Weird way to think, but okay."

 

"Says the person who reads the same depressing Kafka story fourteen times and calls it 'processing.'"

 

"It's a good story."

 

"It's about a guy turning into a giant bug."

 

"And it speaks to the alienation inherent in modern existence. Your point?"

 

He laughs again, shaking his head. "God, you're such a fucking English major."

 

"And you're a secret bread nerd. We all have our crosses to bear."

 

His smile shifts into something different—softer around the edges, almost vulnerable. "Don't tell anyone, okay? About the username thing. I have a reputation to maintain."

 

"What, you mean your friends don't know your tough gamer handle is actually about your sourdough obsession?"

 

"Only Yoongi knows. And now you." He drums his fingers on the glass once, twice. "That's enough oversharing on my part for the day, I think. Sooner or later it's going to have to be your turn, you know, Pyx?"

 

Great. A new variation of your nickname. Does he ever stop coming up with them?

 

"My turn for what?"

 

"Sharing something real." His eyes hold yours, steady. "Friendship goes both ways, Nix."

 

You scoff, ignoring the way your heart rate picks up slightly. "I share things."

 

"Like what? Your coffee order doesn't count."

 

"I told you about the IUD."

 

"That's medical, not personal."

 

"It's literally inside my body. How much more personal can it get?"

 

He sighs, but he makes it dramatic this time. "You know what I mean. Something that matters to you. Something real."

 

You do know. That's the problem. He's asking for exactly the kind of vulnerability you've spent years carefully avoiding. The kind that gives people ammunition, that creates expectations, that leads to disappointment when you inevitably fail to meet them.

 

But he just told you about his mom. About bread and baking and usernames that mean more than they appear to. He offered something real—small, maybe, but genuine.

 

And isn't that what this whole friendship experiment is supposed to be about?

 

You open your mouth, not entirely sure what's going to come out, when a crash from across the restaurant saves you. Hobi has somehow managed to knock over an entire tray of drinks, and the resulting chaos immediately draws everyone's attention, including Jungkook's.

 

"Shit," he mutters, already half-moving. "I should go help before he makes it worse."

 

"Go," you nod, equal parts relieved and strangely disappointed. "Your public needs you."

 

He hesitates, eyes still on yours. "We're not done with this conversation."

 

"Pretty sure we are."

 

"Pretty sure we're just getting started." He stands fully, but doesn't leave immediately. "Come join, okay? Whenever you’re ready.”

 

You watch him weave through the crowd toward the spill, already calling out something to Hobi that makes the other man laugh despite the mess. It's strange, seeing him like this—in his element, surrounded by people who know him in ways you don't.

 

ProofedToKill. A baking pun turned gamer tag. A piece of his mother he carries with him, encrypted in plain sight.

 

You take another sip of your vodka cranberry, wondering what else about Jungkook you've been missing all this time.

 

Eleven people crammed around a table is basically psychological warfare in restaurant form.

 

You're somehow stuck directly across from Jungkook, because apparently the universe has a shitty sense of humor. 

 

Next to him, Tessa has claimed her territory, her long legs perfectly positioned under the table while yours are already cramping from the weird angle. Of course.

 

At least you've got Yoongi on your left—a silent, grounding presence in the chaos. When you'd awkwardly hovered near his chair, he'd just grunted and shifted slightly to make room. 

 

In Yoongi-speak, that's practically a formal invitation with calligraphy and shit.

 

Diana sits on your other side, petite and prim, her small hands already arranging her napkin with quick movements. She keeps glancing at Tessa across the table with an expression you can't quite decipher—somewhere between admiration and mild disapproval.

 

The menu in Yoongi's hands looks worn and slightly sticky, but your stomach is basically staging a revolt after hours of nothing but ibuprofen and vodka. You lean over, scanning the options without asking permission because fuck it, you're hungry.

 

The spicy ramen section catches your eye immediately. 

 

Your stomach gives another impatient growl.

 

"I want those," you announce, pointing at the spiciest option on the menu.

 

Yoongi barely blinks. "Cool. I didn't ask."

 

You roll your eyes and lean back in your chair because, okay, whatever. Rude ass. Though honestly, there's something almost refreshing about his complete lack of social polish. 

 

At least you always know where you stand with him, which is approximately nowhere.

 

A movement across the table draws your attention. 

 

Jungkook's eyes have lifted from his own menu, catching yours with an intensity that feels weirdly intimate in the crowded space. His gaze flickers down again almost immediately, but not before you notice the corner of his mouth tilting upward.

 

What's he laughing about? Stupid. He's stupid.

 

"I kinda wanted the spicy ones too," he says, looking up again. "Maybe we can share?"

 

You squint at him suspiciously. "Huh? No. I want the bowl entirely for me."

 

Diana makes a soft sound beside you—half laugh, half disbelief. 

 

“I can't believe you can eat all that."

 

The words hang there for a moment while your brain processes the judgment packaged in her innocent-sounding comment. 

 

Did she just really—

 

"C'mon Diana," Tessa cuts in swiftly, laugh warm and genuine, "not everyone has a small stomach like you."

 

Diana scowls, her delicate features pinching together. "I just think that's a lot to eat."

 

"Bro, I could eat two bowls in one sitting," Jungkook says.

 

"Make that three," Taehyung adds from Jungkook's other side. "You're a fucking goblin, Kooks."

 

"Three? Amateur," one of the gamer guys—Steve? Sean?—chimes in from the end of the table. "Remember that time after the tournament when you ate four bowls of ramen and then threw up in my car?"

 

"That was food poisoning," Jungkook protests. "Totally different situation."

 

"Your face was poisoned."

 

"What does that even mean?"

 

"Your face... poisoned... my eyes," the guy finishes lamely, clearly losing his train of thought.

 

"Ten points from Slytherin for that weak-ass comeback," Hobi declares, raising his beer like a wizard's wand. "Jungkook requires better trash talk in his honor."

 

"Oh shit, we're using Hogwarts points now?" another one asks. "When did we switch systems?"

 

"Since I just decided, and I'm the dungeon master."

 

"That's D&D, you uncultured swine," Taehyung sighs, long-suffering. "Completely different franchise."

 

"Whatever, they're all just wizard nerds," Hobi says with a dismissive wave.

 

"That's wizard king to you, peasant," Jungkook corrects, puffing out his chest.

 

“Do you all... actually play these games?" Diana asks, voice faintly disdainful.

 

"Only when we're not busy with our super cool and important adult lives," Taehyung says, deadpan.

 

"I just don't get the appeal," she sniffs. "Sitting inside all day, staring at screens—"

 

"Yo," Hobi cuts in smoothly, somehow managing to sound both friendly and firm at the same time, "different strokes for different folks. Some people climb mountains, some people slay digital dragons. Both valid." 

 

Diana shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. "I guess."

 

"Besides," you find yourself saying, "it's literally his birthday. Maybe, I don't know, let him enjoy things without the judgment?"

 

The words come out sharper than intended, surprising even you. 

 

Since when do you jump to Jungkook's defense? Since when do you care if someone judges his nerdy gaming habits?

 

Jungkook looks equally surprised, eyebrows raised slightly as he studies your face. Then his expression shifts into something softer, almost appreciative.

 

"Exactly. Today's about celebrating you," Tessa adds, turning to Jungkook with a warm smile. "And apparently your inhuman ability to consume ramen."

 

"It's my superpower," he says solemnly. "With great appetite comes great indigestion."

 

A ripple of laughter moves around the table, breaking the awkward moment. Diana still looks sulky, but at least she's dropped the subject.

 

The waiter appears then, ready to take orders, and the conversation splinters as everyone tries to decide what they want.

 

"You really getting the level five spicy?" Yoongi asks quietly while the others debate.

 

"Yeah. Why, think I can't handle it?"

 

He snorts. "Just checking if I need to order extra water for when you inevitably start crying."

 

"I do not cry from spicy food."

 

"Everyone cries from spicy food if it's actually spicy."

 

"Well, we'll see, won't we?"

 

He shrugs, a barely perceptible movement of one shoulder. "Your funeral."

 

"Comforting as always, Yoon."

 

The ghost of a smile flits across his face before he returns to his default expression of mild disinterest.

 

Across the table, Jungkook is in the middle of a heated debate with Taehyung about... something involving a game you've never heard of. His hands move animatedly as he talks, face lit with genuine enthusiasm. One of his friends keeps trying to interject, but Jungkook and Taehyung are in their own world, talking over each other and somehow still understanding perfectly.

 

He looks so unguarded.

 

So... normal. Like any other twenty-something guy arguing about video games with his friends.

 

Not that you care. It's just an observation.

 

"So you're Jungkook's roommate," Diana says, drawing your attention back to her. Her tone suggests this is somehow both surprising and slightly concerning.

 

"Yep." You keep it brief, hoping she'll take the hint and drop whatever line of questioning is forming behind those judgmental eyes.

 

No such luck.

 

"And how did that happen exactly? Through the university housing board?"

 

"Craigslist, actually."

 

Her eyebrows shoot up like you've just admitted to finding the apartment through a demonic summoning ritual. 

 

“Oh! Isn't that... dangerous?"

 

"Not really. The apartment was already Yoongi and Jungkook's. I just answered the ad for the third room."

 

"Still," she persists, "moving in with two guys you don't know. That's brave."

 

The way she says ‘brave’ makes it clear she means ‘stupid,’ but you're not in the mood to defend your housing choices to someone who probably thinks spicy ramen is too adventurous.

 

"Not really. Yoongi's background check was pretty thorough," you deadpan. "Only had to provide three references, a blood sample, and my complete genetic history."

 

Diana blinks, clearly unsure if you're joking.

 

"It's true," Yoongi confirms without looking up from his phone. "Her midichlorian count was acceptable."

 

"What’s… midichlorian?" Diana asks uncertainly.

 

"It’s a real scientific test," you say, keeping your expression perfectly serious. "Very exclusive."

 

She frowns, increasingly confused, and you feel a small, petty satisfaction at her discomfort.

 

"They're fucking with you," Taehyung calls from across the table, apparently tuned into your conversation despite seemingly being absorbed in his argument with Jungkook. "It's a Star Wars reference."

 

"Oh." Diana forces a laugh that doesn't reach her eyes. "Right."

 

"Ignore them," Tessa says kindly. "They operate on their own wavelength sometimes."

 

"Especially these two," Hobi adds, gesturing between Taehyung and Jungkook. "Like an old married couple, but with more shouting and fewer financial benefits."

 

"What do you mean fewer financial benefits?" Jungkook protests. "I've been carrying his broke ass in-game economy for years."

 

"That gold farm was my idea!"

 

"Your idea crashed the server and got us banned for a week!"

 

"Details," Taehyung waves dismissively. "The point is, I'm the brains of this operation."

 

"And I'm the beauty," Jungkook fires back, striking a pose that makes Hobi snort water through his nose.

 

It's all so... easy. The banter, the inside jokes, the casual way they navigate each other's personalities. They've clearly had years to develop this rhythm, to learn each other's edges and how to fit together despite them—or maybe because of them.

 

Something twists in your chest, sharp and unexpected. You busy yourself with your water glass, suddenly very interested in the condensation gathering along its sides.

 

The waiter returns with drinks, setting them around the table. You're grateful for the distraction, for something to do with your hands besides fidget awkwardly.

 

"Alright," Hobi declares once everyone has a drink, lifting his glass. "To the birthday boy! May your K/D ratio remain impressive and your hairline unreceded."

 

"Here's to another year of Jungkook being Jungkook," Taehyung adds, raising his own glass. "God help us all."

 

"To Kooks," Tessa says, her voice softer but no less sincere. "Happy birthday."

 

Glasses clink around the table, a chorus of echoed sentiments following. You lift your glass automatically, catching Jungkook's eye as you do. He's watching you, before he smiles—small and surprisingly genuine.

 

"Thanks for getting me here," he says quietly, just for you.

 

"Don't mention it," you reply, equally quiet. "Seriously. Don't. I'll deny everything."

 

His smile widens, and for a moment, it feels like you're back in that booth from earlier—just the two of you, everyone else fading to background noise.

 

Then Taehyung jostles his arm, demanding his opinion on something, and the moment breaks. 

 

You take a sip of your drink, trying to ignore the strange feeling that's settled in your chest.

 

It's probably just hunger. Or the vodka from earlier. 

 

Or the fact that you've been in this loud, crowded restaurant for what feels like hours now, surrounded by people you barely know, playing a role you're not quite sure how to perform.

 

Yeah. That's definitely it.

 

The server arrives with a ridiculous number of bowls balanced along his arms like some kind of food-based Cirque du Soleil performer. Steam rises from each one, carrying scents that make your stomach growl with embarrassing volume.

 

A massive, angry-looking bowl lands in front of you, the broth practically glowing red. It looks like someone liquefied the sun and threw in some noodles as an afterthought.

 

Perfect.

 

Two bowls slide in front of Jungkook—your spicy demon soup's twin and something much more reasonable looking, probably miso based on the color.

 

"Hungry much?" you ask, eyeing his double order.

 

"Growing boy," he shrugs, already reaching for chopsticks.

 

Taehyung, meanwhile, receives... a plate of curry rice? 

 

"Seriously?" You can't help the judgment that leaks into your voice. "We're at a ramen place and you ordered curry?"

 

He shoots you a look that could curdle milk. "Some of us have taste beyond 'hot noodle soup.'"

 

"Some of us aren't afraid of flavor, dickasso."

 

"Bold words from someone currently holding weapons-grade capsaicin," he fires back, gesturing at your bowl. "Does your taste even function, or did you burn it all away with your sad little Hot Pockets diet?"

 

"At least I'm not too precious to eat what the restaurant specializes in."

 

“This is objectively superior."

 

"Only if your objective is being a pretentious dick."

 

"I prefer 'discerning connoisseur.'"

 

"You would."

 

You hate that banter with Taehyung is starting to become more and more comfortable. Like verbal sparring with someone who actually knows how to return a serve, instead of just standing there getting hit in the face with the ball. 

 

Not that you like him or anything. His whole vibe—artsy, too cool for school, judgmental as fuck—is objectively annoying.

 

But maybe also a little entertaining. 

 

In small doses. 

 

Very small.

 

Across the table, Hobi watches this exchange with undisguised amusement, head swiveling between you. 

 

"I feel like I'm witnessing the beginning of a beautiful friendship," he says, grinning widely. "Or a homicide. Hard to tell."

 

"Definitely homicide," Taehyung and you say in unison, then glare at each other for the coordination.

 

You turn your attention back to your ramen, inhaling the spicy steam before digging in. The first bite hits like a kick to the teeth—pain followed immediately by pleasure. 

 

It's fucking delicious despite feeling like you just licked the surface of the sun.

 

"Good?" Yoongi asks, watching your face with what might be the ghost of amusement.

 

"Incredible," you manage, already reaching for more.

 

Across the table, Jungkook dives into his own spicy bowl with enthusiasm, slurping noodles with zero concern for how it looks. A drop of broth escapes, clinging to his lower lip.

 

You're about to say something—point it out, make fun of his complete lack of eating etiquette, something—when Tessa reaches out, casual as anything, and swipes her thumb across his lip.

 

"Messy," she says, the word warm with affection.

 

He tilts his head toward her, smiling in a way that can only be described as flirtatious. 

 

“That's my brand."

 

You purse your lips, returning your attention to your own food. 

 

Whatever. Let him preen over a pretty girl paying attention to him. His loser ass probably never gets that chance.

 

Although... that's a lie and you know it. 

 

The guy is annoyingly good-looking and he knows it. He's probably used to girls fawning over him, cleaning his face like he's a toddler who can't be trusted with utensils.

 

"Whatcha looking at, Phee—" He cuts himself off abruptly, eyes widening slightly. "—asantly surprised by how spicy that ramen is? Your face is getting red."

 

Smooth recovery. Not.

 

"Just thinking about how long it's been since I've had decent ramen."

 

You grab your water glass, suddenly very aware of the burning sensation spreading across your tongue. 

 

It's fine. Totally manageable. Nothing to worry about.

 

"Knew it," Yoongi mutters beside you.

 

You set the glass down with more force than necessary. "It's not spicy."

 

"Uh-huh." He doesn't even bother looking up from his own bowl. "That's why your face is the same color as the broth."

 

"It's warm in here."

 

"Sure it is."

 

"I can handle spice."

 

"Never said you couldn't."

 

"You implied it."

 

He finally glances at you, expression as bored as ever. "I implied you're a liar, not a spice lightweight."

 

"I'm not—" Another wave of heat crashes through your mouth, cutting off your protest. "Fine. It's a little spicy."

 

The corner of his mouth twitches in what might be a smile on anyone else. "A little."

 

"Shut up and eat your boring miso."

 

Amazingly, he actually laughs—a short, quiet sound that's there and gone so quickly you almost think you imagined it. 

 

But no, that was definitely a laugh. From Yoongi. Directed at something you said.

 

Huh.

 

You return to your ramen, determined to finish it despite the way your sinuses are starting to protest. 

 

It's a matter of pride now. You said you could handle it, so you'll handle it, even if it kills you.

 

Which it might. But what a way to go.

 

You glance up, seeing how Jungkook and Tessa have their heads tilted toward each other, engaged in what looks like a very amusing conversation based on her laugh. She keeps touching his arm, casual little points of contact that seem to arrive at perfectly timed intervals.

 

She's good at this, you'll give her that. The whole flirting thing. Not too obvious, not too reserved. Just the right amount of interest without seeming desperate.

 

Huh. He might get laid tonight then. Not by you. 

 

Good for him. 

 

"You're staring again," Taehyung says, his voice pitched low enough that only you can hear. "Plotting his murder or just generally disapproving of his existence?"

 

"Just wondering how someone with the personality of a half-deflated balloon animal manages to function in society," you reply smoothly.

 

"Years of practice and an excellent support system." He gestures between himself and Hobi, who's busy trying to convince one of the gamer guys that yes, there is in fact sake in the sake bomb he just drank. "We've been managing his personality disorder since freshman year."

 

"Sounds exhausting."

 

"It is." His eyes drift to where Jungkook is now showing Tessa something on his phone, both of them laughing. "But he has his moments."

 

You turn your attention back to your food. Halfway through, you make the tactical error of taking a large bite just as Hobi says something particularly funny, causing you to inhale sharply—and sending a piece of chili directly into your windpipe.

 

Coughing. So much coughing. 

 

Your eyes water immediately, turning the table into a blurry mess of colors and shapes as you desperately reach for your water again.

 

"Easy there," Yoongi says, actually sounding a little concerned as he pushes your glass closer. "Small sips."

 

You manage to get the water down between coughs, the cool liquid offering minimal relief to your burning throat.

 

"You okay?" Jungkook asks, leaning across the table with a frown.

 

Great. Now everyone's looking at you. Perfect. Just what you wanted. All the attention.

 

"Fine," you rasp, waving a hand dismissively. "Went down the wrong pipe."

 

"Maybe you should try something less lethal," Diana suggests, eyeing your bowl with thinly veiled judgment. "Like the mild shoyu."

 

"I'm good with my life choices, thanks."

 

"Not all of them, I hope," Taehyung mutters, just loud enough for you to hear.

 

You kick him under the table, aiming for his shin but probably hitting the table leg instead based on his lack of reaction.

 

"If you die from ramen, I'm not cleaning out your room," Yoongi says matter-of-factly.

 

"Noted. I'll make sure to haunt you specifically."

 

"Bold of you to assume I'd notice the difference."

 

"What, between me alive and me as a ghost?"

 

"You already have a resting bitch face and make weird noises at night. How would I tell?"

 

You choke again, this time on your own surprise. 

 

"I do not make weird noises at night!"

 

"The walls are thin."

 

Heat creeps up your neck, and it has nothing to do with the spice level of your food. 

 

“I don't—that's not—"

 

"Relax. I meant the way you talk in your sleep."

 

Oh. That's... marginally less mortifying.

 

"I talk in my sleep?"

 

"Constantly."

 

"About what?"

 

He shrugs. "Mostly nonsense. Something about pencils last night. Very intense opinions on pencils."

 

"I don't have opinions about pencils," you protest. "Intense or otherwise."

 

"Tell that to your subconscious."

 

The conversation shifts as one of the gamers—Ryan? you think?—slams his empty sake cup on the table with more force than necessary.

 

"Yo!" he announces, loud enough to get everyone's attention. "We should do shots. Birthday shots for the birthday boy!"

 

A chorus of approval goes up around the table. Even Diana looks on board with this plan, probably because alcohol is the one thing that might loosen up whatever's holding her personality together.

 

"The birthday boy needs birthday shots," Hobi agrees, already signaling the waiter.

 

Taehyung groans. "Please tell me we're not doing that ridiculous 'one shot for each year' tradition. I'm not carrying his drunk ass home again."

 

"That was one time," Jungkook protests.

 

"One time too many. You kept trying to pet dogs that weren't there."

 

"I was seeing through the space-time continuum to where dogs would eventually be."

 

"You threw up in my shower."

 

"I cleaned it!"

 

"With my loofah!"

 

"I replaced it!"

 

"After I used it!"

 

You watch this exchange with growing amusement, the rapid-fire back-and-forth almost dizzying in its intensity. It's clear this is a well-worn argument, trotted out for entertainment value rather than actual grievance.

 

"Fine," Taehyung concedes dramatically. "Birthday shots. But I'm not responsible for any hallucinated canines or bathroom incidents."

 

"Deal," Jungkook grins, then turns to Tessa. "You in?"

 

She laughs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I should probably pace myself. Early class tomorrow."

 

"Responsible," he nods, mock serious. "I respect that."

 

"Unlike some people," Taehyung mutters, glancing pointedly at Jungkook.

 

"It's my birthday. I'm legally exempt from responsibility for twenty-four hours."

 

"That's not a law."

 

"It's the law of birthdays, Tae. Everyone knows this."

 

Ryan—definitely Ryan—flags down the server successfully this time, ordering a round of shots for the table. 

 

“Even for the responsible ones," he insists when Tessa tries to decline. "Just one. For Proofs."

 

She relents with a smile, rolling her stupid pretty eyes. 

 

"You too, Miss Spicy Ramen," Ryan says, nodding toward you. "Unless you can't handle your liquor either."

 

Is that a challenge? It sounds like a challenge.

 

"I can handle my liquor just fine," you say.

 

“Debatable,” Jungkook mutters, the menace.

 

"Oh, fighting words," Hobi laughs, clapping his hands together. "I sense a story here."

 

"There's no story," Jungkook says quickly.

 

"I think we've found the first drinking game of the night," Hobi declares. "Most embarrassing Jungkook stories. Winner gets... I don't know, bragging rights and my eternal respect."

 

"That's not fair," Jungkook protests. "I'm the birthday boy. I should be exempt from humiliation."

 

"Birthday boy gets birthday roast," Taehyung counters. 

 

Even Yoongi cracks a smile at that, which might be the most shocking development of the evening so far.

 

Five shots in and the room has developed that particular tilt that makes everything both sharper and blurrier at the same time.

 

"Next round!" Seth announces, grinning as he surveys the damage he's caused. 

 

Seth, as you've learned through increasingly slurred introductions, is one of Jungkook's film school friends—tall, blonde, and way too enthusiastic about drinking games for someone his size. 

 

"Embarrassing stories! Laugh and you drink!"

 

Groans mixed with cheers ripple around the table, which has somehow gotten messier and louder with each passing shot. Empty glasses create a small army between plates. Someone knocked over the soy sauce earlier, and no one's bothered to clean it up.

 

"Oh, oh, OH!" Taehyung practically bounces in his seat, raising his hand like an overeager student. "I have one."

 

"This'll be good," Yoongi mutters beside you, the most he's spoken in twenty minutes.

 

Taehyung clears his throat dramatically. "Picture this: Eighth grade. School talent show."

 

"No," Jungkook groans, head dropping into his hands. "Not that one."

 

"Yes, that one." Taehyung's grin is borderline evil. "Our boy Kooks here decides he's going to impress Minah Park with a dance routine."

 

"I'm begging you," Jungkook says, voice muffled through his fingers.

 

"To what song, you ask?" Taehyung continues, undeterred. "None other than 'Milkshake' by Kelis."

 

Ryan lets out a bark of laughter, immediately reaching for his shot.

 

"Oh my god," Diana whispers, eyes wide.

 

"Did he know what the song was about?" Tessa asks, already giggling.

 

"That's the best part," Taehyung says, pausing for dramatic effect. "He thought it was literally about making good milkshakes. His mom helped him with the routine."

 

The table erupts. Even Yoongi snorts, reaching for his shot glass with resigned dignity. You're trying—genuinely trying—to hold it in, pressing your lips together, but then you make the mistake of looking at Jungkook's mortified expression and it's over. Laughter spills out, and you grab your shot, tossing it back with a wince.

 

"His mom found out what it meant halfway through the performance," Taehyung continues, wiping tears from his eyes. "Her face—I wish smartphones existed back then."

 

"I hate you," Jungkook mutters, but there's no heat behind it. "So much."

 

"Did Minah like it at least?" Hobi asks, still chuckling.

 

"She transferred schools the next week," Taehyung says solemnly. "Unrelated reasons, allegedly."

 

Another round of laughter, another round of shots.

 

"My turn," Hobi declares once the chaos subsides. "Let me tell you about the first time I met this guy."

 

"Which version are you telling?" Jungkook asks warily.

 

"The true one," Hobi says with a wink. "Picture it: 2021. Dance studio on 8th. This scrawny kid walks in, says he needs to film a project for his class."

 

"I wasn't scrawny," Jungkook protests.

 

"You were a twig with hair," Hobi dismisses. "Anyway, he sets up his equipment, very professional, very serious. Then my advanced hip-hop class starts, and halfway through, he abandons his camera to try and join in."

 

"Oh no," Tessa whispers, delighted.

 

"Oh yes," Hobi confirms. "He jumps in, full confidence, absolutely sure he can keep up. Two eight-counts later, he slips, takes out my star student, and they both crash into the mirror."

 

"It didn't break!" Jungkook interjects.

 

"It cracked," Hobi corrects. "Still there. I call it the Jungkook Memorial Spiderweb."

 

You laugh despite yourself, drinking quickly to hide your smile when Jungkook shoots you a betrayed look.

 

"What about you, Yoongi?" Seth asks, refilling glasses with alarming efficiency. "How'd you meet the birthday boy?"

 

Yoongi regards the question like it's asked him to explain quantum physics. 

 

“Music production seminar. He needed help with a film score." He shrugs. "He wasn't completely terrible."

 

"From Yoongi, that's basically a marriage proposal," Hobi stage-whispers.

 

"Wow, such a beautiful story," you deadpan. "So moving. So detailed."

 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Not all of us need a thousand words to make a point."

 

"Clearly." You snort, then immediately regret it when the room spins slightly. 

 

"What about you, new girl?" Seth asks, suddenly focused on you with an intensity that feels both flattering and vaguely predatory. "Got any good Jungkook stories from the roommate archives?"

 

All eyes turn to you, expectant. 

 

You scramble for something suitably embarrassing but not too revealing.

 

“Oh, I’ve got plenty,” you say, the alcohol making you bolder than usual. “But I have to live with him, so I’m weighing the entertainment value against the revenge factor.”

 

“Coward,” Taehyung coughs into his hand.

 

"Yeah, tell us the real dirt," Seth presses, leaning forward with a grin that suggests he's hoping for something scandalous.

 

You narrow your eyes, suddenly protective of the weird dynamic you share with Jungkook. These people don't get to know about the late-night arguments over the TV volume, or the silent coffee maker standoffs, or the way he sometimes hums in the shower when he thinks no one can hear.

 

"Sorry to disappoint," you say with exaggerated sweetness, "but I value my security deposit too much to reveal his darkest secrets."

 

"Cop-out," Seth accuses, but he's smiling.

 

"Another round!" Ryan announces, refilling shot glasses with something that smells vaguely like cinnamon and regret. "Tessa, you laughed at the dance story, you owe one."

 

“I didn’t!” she protests, but she’s fighting a smile now. “I was just… appreciating the story.”

 

“Liar! Your lips twitched. That’s a drink.”

 

She shakes her head, still smiling. “No way. I have that early class, remember?”

 

Before Ryan can argue further, Jungkook smoothly grabs her shot and downs it in one fluid motion. 

 

“Problem solved,” he says, setting the empty glass back on the table with a decisive clink.

 

Something about the gesture—casual, protective, maybe a little possessive—makes your stomach twist in a way that has nothing to do with the alcohol or spicy ramen. 

 

Seth slides another shot toward you. “Here, you need a refill.”

 

You stare at it, trying to do math through the fuzzy haze of alcohol. 

 

How many shots have you had? Four? Five? You've lost count, which is probably not a great sign.

 

But everyone’s looking at you, waiting, and you’ve never been good at backing down from a challenge—especially when you’re already tipsy and your judgment is shot to hell.

 

You reach for the shot, hesitating only slightly. It burns going down, making you cough and sputter in a way that is definitely not attractive, but whatever. You can handle it.

 

Probably.

 

“Another round!” Seth calls. “Funniest pet stories. Go.”

 

And so the new game continues, stories flying around the table with increasing volume and decreasing coherence.

 

You lose track of who’s talking, everything blurring into laughter and voices and the clinking of glasses.

 

“Oh, and remember when Jungkook tried to sneak into that bar with his cousin’s ID?” someone is saying—maybe Ryan? The faces at the end of the table are swimming a bit. “The bouncer took one look at the picture and said, ‘This says you’re 5’4” and Filipino.’”

 

More laughter, more shots. The room spins again when you tilt your head back to drink.

 

“Another one for you,” Seth says, sliding a fresh shot in front of you after you laugh at something Hobi said. His hand lingers near yours on the table, fingers almost but not quite touching. “Don’t tell me you’re backing down so soon?"

 

The challenge in his tone hits some stupid part of your brain—the part that's been responsible for most of your worst decisions. 

 

So of course you grab the shot.

 

"Just getting started," you declare, tossing it back with more confidence than coordination. 

 

Seth grins, clearly pleased by your response. "I like you. You're fun."

 

"I'm a goddamn delight," you agree solemnly, which makes Taehyung snort into his drink.

 

The next round comes with someone telling a tale about Jungkook getting locked out of his dorm freshman year wearing only a towel. Hobi recounts the time Jungkook tried to learn breakdancing and sprained both wrists. Jungkook retaliates with something about Taehyung and body paint that has everyone howling and reaching for their drinks.

 

You keep pace, determined not to be the one who can't hang, even as the room develops an interesting spin and your tongue feels increasingly disconnected from your brain.

 

"Another one!" Seth declares, sliding a fresh shot in front of you.

 

You stare at it, hiccupping slightly. The thought of one more makes your stomach perform an acrobatic maneuver. 

 

"I don't know..."

 

"Come on," he urges, eyes bright with that specific drunk intensity people get when they're determined to make everyone else as wasted as they are. "Don't quit now."

 

You hiccup slightly, staring at the shot with growing uncertainty. 

 

Your stomach churns in warning.

 

But your pride is a stubborn, stupid stupid thing.

 

Before you can decide, Jungkook’s arm shoots across the table, grabbing the shot and downing it in one quick movement. His eyes find Seth’s, narrowed and unmistakably warning.

 

“I think she’s good,” he says, voice deceptively casual.

 

Seth raises his hands in mock surrender. “Just keeping the game going, man.”

 

You stare at Jungkook, confused by the intervention. He catches your look and shrugs, a simple ‘what?’ in his expression that somehow makes you frown harder.

 

The game shifts again, someone suggesting “Never Have I Ever” as a change of pace. Your brain struggles to keep up with the new rules, everything moving a little too fast, a little too loud.

 

“Never have I ever…” Seth taps his chin thoughtfully, eyes finding yours again. “Been skinny dipping.”

 

You groan internally. Of course he’d pick something designed to make people admit to being naked. Typical.

 

Those who have done it drink, including Jungkook, which makes Tessa raise her eyebrows in a way that seems both surprised and intrigued. 

 

You remain still, glass untouched, which somehow feels like a victory.

 

The questions continue around the table, growing progressively more suggestive as everyone’s inhibitions lower. 

 

A fresh shot appears in front of you, courtesy of Ryan, who’s moved on from the game and is now just passing out alcohol indiscriminately.

 

“Drink up!” he declares. “We’re celebrating!”

 

You stare at the shot, swaying slightly in your seat. The room feels too hot, too crowded, too everything. Your brain is sending out warning signals, but they’re muffled under layers of alcohol and stubbornness.

 

Jungkook is watching you, expression unreadable but lips pressed together in what might be concern. 

 

He knows you shouldn’t drink that. 

 

You know you shouldn’t drink that. 

 

But admitting it feels like losing somehow.

 

So you reach for the glass. Fingers clumsy.

 

Suddenly it’s gone—snatched away by a hand behind you.

 

“She doesn’t want any more, broski.”

 

You whip around so fast the room spins alarmingly, but there’s no mistaking that voice, that attitude, that general aura of ‘fuck around and find out.’

 

Yeji throws back the shot with 0 problem, slamming the empty glass on the table with a decisive clink. 

 

Behind her, Irya and Jimin hover like backup, taking in the scene with varying levels of amusement.

 

“Surprise.” Yeji grins, sharp and protective. “Happy birthday, dickhead,” she adds, nodding at Jungkook. “Mind if we crash the party?”

 

 

Chapter 22: karaoke night

Summary:

"Vanilla extract has always been his lifeline, and tonight is no different."

Notes:

OKAY. Let me just start by screaming into the void real quick: SIX. HUNDRED. NOTES. And TWO HUNDRED VOTES. IN LESS THAN FORTY-EIGHT HOURS?? What the actual hell is wrong with you people??? I'm genuinely flabbergasted. Bamboozled. Reeling. I thought I had time. I thought I could chill. But NO. Y’all are CRACKED and now I’m upping the goal like an absolute psychopath because clearly you’re fiends and I am merely your supplier. I’ll give you your fix, don’t worry. Just know I’m running out of backlogged chapters and my therapist is gonna hear about it.

Anyway.

This chapter. Hoo boy. This chapter feels like the emotional hangover after a wild night—the kind where everything feels a little too raw, a little too exposed, and you’re left trying to piece together what the fuck happened between the yelling and the tequila. There's a reason why I framed it this way, too—because this is the shift. The oh shit, real people have real pasts and they bleed sometimes moment. The façade cracks here, and it does so in ways that are deliberately uncomfortable.

Jungkook is so many things in this chapter, but most importantly, he’s small. And I don’t mean that physically. I mean small like a kid trying to crawl into his own skin. That rooftop scene? I wanted you to feel the stillness after the storm, the weird quiet that happens when someone you thought was bulletproof shows up vulnerable and unguarded for once. And it’s messy. He doesn’t have answers. He doesn’t give you the sob story, not yet. He gives you glimpses. Vanilla extract, deflections, silence. All of it is by design.

(Also yes, the vanilla extract thing is a metaphor. Yes, I know it’s weird. No, I won’t elaborate. Just know it’s real and kind of tragic and also weirdly endearing. Like him.)

And Y/N… god. She’s tiptoeing the line so hard here. Because she wants to help and she wants to understand and she also very much wants to not feel. But she does. And she hates it. And she jokes because otherwise she’ll unravel. And that’s what makes this chapter so bittersweet to me—because they’re both posturing like they’re fine, but their actions betray them. Their quiet kindness, the subtle care. The intimacy isn’t in the sex anymore. It’s in the stillness. In the scent memory. In the way he says “you smell like vanilla” like it’s the only anchor he has left.

And let’s not even talk about Mia because that woman is the human embodiment of a champagne cork to the eye. I will simply say this: trauma is not always loud. Sometimes it’s a whisper that sticks to your ribs. Sometimes it’s someone’s name.

Anyway.

This chapter is long, chaotic, unfiltered, and possibly one of the most emotionally raw things I’ve written for this fic so far. So please take care of yourself while reading. You don’t have to romanticize brokenness. You don’t have to love these characters for their damage. But you can hold space for them. Just like they’re learning to do for each other.

Also Taehyung deserves a nap and a raise for his emotional labor.

As always, I’m deeply grateful you’re here, crying and laughing and spiraling with me. Keep being feral in the comments. Keep voting if it makes your little goblin brain happy. And maybe—just maybe—hug your own Jungkook if you’ve got one.

Or your therapist.

They deserve it.

Chapter Text

Tequila makes you do stupid shit, like hugging people you normally avoid touching with a ten-foot pole

Tequila makes you do stupid shit, like hugging people you normally avoid touching with a ten-foot pole.

You practically launch yourself from your seat, the room tilting at an alarming angle as you throw your arms around Yeji's neck.

"Holy shit," she laughs, body stiffening with surprise before awkwardly patting your back. "Okay, this is literally the first hug you've ever given me and I don't know how to feel about it."

You ignore her, already detaching yourself and stumbling toward Irya, who catches you with more grace, giggling as you nearly topple both of you over.

"Hi to you too," she says, squeezing back gently.

Jimin is next, accepting your clumsy attempt at physical affection with the patient tolerance of someone used to dealing with drunk friends. He pats your back, concern etched in his features.

"How are you doing?" he asks, holding you at arm's length to study your face.

You flash him a thumbs up, swaying slightly on your feet. "Absofuckinglutely amazing."

"Okay, yeah. No." He shakes his head, exchanging a knowing look with Yeji.

"Why are you guys even here?!" The question bursts out louder than you intended, making several heads turn.

Yeji shrugs, all casual nonchalance. "This is a famous ramen place. Irya's been wanting to come for a long time."

"Guilty!" Irya raises her hand with a sheepish smile.

"And Jimin was like a lost puppy, so we just kind of adopted him," Yeji adds, nodding toward him.

Irya shoves Yeji's shoulder. "No, actually, I was studying with Jimin, and Yeji just came in and was like 'yo, let's have spicy ramen!' And we kinda rolled with it."

You snort, turning around to find the entire table watching this interaction with varying degrees of amusement.

Jungkook has his hand pressed against his mouth, shoulders shaking with barely contained laughter.

You mouth 'die' at him, and he throws his palms up in mock surrender, the bastard.

"Well..." You gesture vaguely, suddenly realizing you need to perform introductions. "These are my friends."

The words feel strange on your tongue—not because they're untrue, but because saying them out loud makes them real in a way you weren't prepared for.

"Yeji, Irya, and Jimin," you continue, pointing at each one. "And this is... um..."

Your alcohol-soaked brain struggles to remember the names of all the people around this table. There's Yoongi, obviously, and Taehyung, and Hobi, and... the others. The gaming nerds. And Tessa. And that other girl who judged your ramen choice.

You wave your hand in a circle, encompassing the whole table. "Jungkook's birthday squad."

Awkwardness settles over you as you realize the predicament. Your friends are here, but it's not like you can just abandon Jungkook's party to join them. That would be rude. And weird. And probably not what a good roommate would do.

Not that you care about being a good roommate. But still. Principle of the thing or whatever.

Before the silence can stretch too long, Yeji speaks up. "We were heading to the karaoke place that's like five minutes from here, if y'all want to come?"

All eyes shift to Jungkook, the birthday boy, the decision-maker.

But instead of looking at his friends, he looks at you first.

You look back at him, a silent question passing between you.

Then he smiles—not his usual smirk, but something softer, more genuine—and turns to Yeji.

"Sure, absolutely. Count us in."

"Hell yes!" Hobi exclaims, clapping his hands together. "I've been waiting for an excuse to show off my pipes!"

"God help us all," Taehyung mutters, but he's already standing, clearly on board with the plan.

"What about the bill?" Diana asks, glancing around at the mess of empty glasses and half-finished food.

"Already covered," Yoongi says, holding up his phone to show a payment confirmation. "Birthday gift."

"You paid for all of this?" You blink at him, genuinely surprised. "That's... actually really nice, Yoongi."

He shrugs, looking vaguely uncomfortable with the acknowledgment. "Whatever. It's not a big deal."

"It kind of is," you insist, the alcohol making you more earnest than usual. "You're a good friend."

He gives you a look that clearly says 'please stop talking now,' so you do, but not before patting his shoulder in what you hope is a comradely fashion.

The group begins gathering their things, a chaotic shuffle of jackets and phones and forgotten scarves. You stand in the middle of it all, suddenly aware of how drunk you actually are as the room tilts alarmingly when you try to take a step.

"Whoa there," a voice says near your ear, and then there's a hand at your elbow, steadying you.

Jungkook.

"You good?"

"Fine," you say automatically, then reconsider. "Okay, maybe not fine. But I'm upright, so that's something."

"A low bar, but I respect it." His tone is light, teasing, but there's something else there too—concern, maybe. It's hard to tell through the tequila fog.

"I can walk," you insist, taking a deliberate step forward to prove your point.

Your legs cooperate, mostly, though the floor seems to be at a slight angle that wasn't there before.

"Never said you couldn't." He's still close, though, ready to catch you if you stumble. "Just making sure you don't face-plant in front of everyone. Would hate for you to embarrass yourself."

"Too late for that," you mutter, remembering your enthusiastic greeting to your friends.

A laugh escapes him, quiet enough that only you can hear it. "Nah, you're fine. You're just... friendlier when you're drunk. It's kind of cute."

"I am not cute," you say with as much dignity as you can muster while swaying slightly. "I am intimidating and cool."

"Absolutely," he agrees solemnly. "The most intimidating and cool person in the room. Everyone's terrified."

You glare at him, but it's hard to maintain when he's looking at you like that—amused but not mocking, a softness around his eyes that makes your stomach do a weird flip that has nothing to do with the alcohol.

"Shut up," you say, lacking a more clever comeback. "It's your fault anyway. Your stupid friends kept giving me shots."

"My stupid friends, huh?" He raises an eyebrow. "And what does that make me?"

"The king of the stupid friends," you declare, poking him in the chest. "The stupidest of them all."

He catches your finger before you can poke him again, his hand warm around yours.

"Your Majesty, then."

"Oh my god, you're so—" You break off, distracted by the way he's still holding your hand, casual as anything.

You pull away, flustered for no good reason.

"Let's go. Karaoke awaits."

"After you, Phoenix." He gestures toward the door where your friends are gathering with the others.

You make your way over, focusing intently on putting one foot in front of the other without tripping. It's harder than it should be, but you manage, only weaving slightly.

Yeji appears at your side, linking her arm through yours.

"How much have you had to drink?" she asks, voice low.

"A moderate amount," you hedge. "An appropriate amount. A birthday celebration amount."

"So, too much."

"Maybe."

She sighs, tightening her grip on your arm. "Babes, I've never seen you drunk. You sure you're okay?

"Yuuusss," you decide, nodding solemnly. "I stand by my choices."

"Of course you do." She glances over at Jungkook, who's now engaged in an animated conversation with Taehyung and Hobi. "So, what's going on there?"

"Where?" you ask, playing dumb even though you know exactly what she means.

"With your roommate. The one whose birthday party we just crashed."

"Nothing's going on," you insist, too quickly. "We're just... I don't know. Trying to be friends. Or something. I guess."

Friends. You and Jungkook.

Friends.

It's starting to sound less terrifying.

"I see." She grins, positioning her head on your shoulder. "Just don't replace me, huh? I'm your new college bestie. I claim that title."

Before you can respond, Irya bounces over, linking her arm through Yeji's free one.

"Are we ready? The karaoke place gets busy on Saturdays."

"We're ready," you confirm, smiling stupidly at the blonde. "Lead the way."

As your strange, merged group spills out onto the sidewalk, you can't help but wonder how the hell you ended up here—drunk, surrounded by people who barely know each other, heading to a karaoke bar on a Saturday night.

It's bizarre. Surreal. Absolutely not how you expected your evening to go when you agreed to take Jungkook to the MoMA this morning.

But as you watch him laugh at something Irya says, his face open and relaxed in a way you rarely see at home, you can't quite bring yourself to regret it.

Even if your head is spinning and your stomach is dangerously close to rejecting every questionable decision you've made tonight.

You catch his eye across the group, and he grins at you—that stupid, lopsided grin that always makes you want to either slap him or—

Well. Other things.

You roll your eyes, but you're smiling too, unable to help yourself. And when he falls into step beside you as the group starts moving, close enough that your shoulders occasionally brush, you don't move away.

It's his birthday, after all. You can give him that much.

Somehow, the sidewalk is significantly more difficult to navigate than it was four hours ago

Somehow, the sidewalk is significantly more difficult to navigate than it was four hours ago.

"Careful," Jimin murmurs as you stumble over absolutely nothing for the third time in two blocks. He steadies you with a gentle grip, adjusting to link his arm more securely with yours.

"The ground is uneven," you insist, though it's clearly not. "Poorly maintained city infrastructure. Someone should write a strongly worded letter."

"Definitely the sidewalk's fault," he agrees, humor warming his soft voice.

You've ended up at the back of your odd parade, watching as your two separate friend groups merge into a loud, laughing mass of bodies moving through the Manhattan night. Yeji has somehow ended up walking beside Taehyung, both of them gesturing wildly as they argue about something. Irya is chatting with Tessa—a combination you wouldn't have predicted—while Hobi tells an animated story to Ryan and Seth that has them howling with laughter.

And then there's Jungkook, right in the middle of it all, moving between conversations simply like someone accustomed to being the center of attention. Even from behind, you can tell he's having a good time—shoulders relaxed, head thrown back in laughter at something Hobi says.

You can't help but think it's... a bit strange, seeing him like this. In the apartment, he's always a bit wound up—ready with a sarcastic comment or provocation. But here, surrounded by friends, celebrating, he seems... looser.

Happier.

It's a good look on him.

Not that you care.

"Here we are!" Hobi announces as your group reaches a neon-lit storefront, the sign advertising 'SING YOUR HEART OUT' in aggressively colorful lettering. "Best karaoke in the East Village."

The place is crowded—not surprising for a Saturday night—but Hobi apparently knows someone who works here because you're whisked past the line of waiting people and into the lobby with minimal fuss.

Inside, it reeks of cheap beer and cheaper air freshener, and the walls are plastered with faded posters of pop stars past and present; along with some occasional muffled screech of someone butchering a high note from one of the private rooms.

Everyone begins shedding layers at the coat check, a flurry of jackets and scarves being handed over to a bored-looking attendant who barely glances up from her phone.

You hang back with Jimin, suddenly aware of how sweaty your shirt is under your own jacket.

Great.

Nothing like marinating in your own alcohol-infused sweat to round out the evening.

"I kind of can't believe we're doing this," you mutter to Jimin, still leaning on him more heavily than you'd like to admit. "Karaoke? With these people? Is this real life?"

"It's definitely happening," he confirms, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Though I'm not sure how much you'll remember tomorrow."

"I'm not that drunk," you protest automatically. "I'm just... celebrating."

"Uh-huh." He doesn't sound convinced.

Across the lobby, Yeji and Jungkook are locked in what appears to be an intense negotiation over room selection, both of them pointing at different options on the laminated menu the hostess is holding. Taehyung stands nearby, pinching the bridge of his nose like he's developing a migraine.

"I'm telling you, the premium room has better song selection," Yeji insists, her voice carrying across the space.

"But the deluxe has the light-up dance floor," Jungkook counters, gesturing emphatically. "It's my birthday, I want the dance floor!"

"The dance floor is tacky!"

"It's not tacky, it's fun!"

"It's the definition of tacky."

"Your face is the definition of tacky."

"Wow, super mature comeback there, birthday boy."

Your eyes drift from their bickering to the quieter presence leaning against the far wall. Yoongi stands slightly apart from the group, scrolling through his phone with the detached air of someone who's physically present but mentally elsewhere.

You notice Jimin's gaze has followed yours. He's studying Yoongi with an intensity that feels almost... private. Like you're witnessing something you shouldn't.

"That's your other roommate, right?" he asks, voice soft.

"Yeah," you nod, head still resting on his shoulder. "Yoongi."

Jimin just smiles, a small, soft thing that doesn't quite reach his eyes. There's something there—a question, maybe, or a thought he's not voicing—but before you can figure it out, Yeji's sharp voice cuts through the moment.

"Y/N! Get over here and settle this!"

You straighten, blinking rapidly as the room spins slightly with the sudden movement.

"What?"

"Premium or deluxe?" she demands, beckoning you impatiently. "Tell this idiot that premium is clearly superior."

Jungkook turns to you, actually pouting like a kid who's been told he can't have a second ice cream cone.

"The deluxe has a light-up floor," he says, as if this is the most compelling argument in the world. "And disco balls."

You look between them, trying to focus through the tequila fog. It shouldn't be this hard to form an opinion about karaoke rooms, and yet.

You can't help the laugh that bubbles up at the absurdity of the situation—Yeji and Jungkook, two of the most stubborn people you know, locked in a standoff over something so utterly trivial.

"Come on, Yeji," you say, rolling your eyes even as you fight back another laugh. "He's the birthday boy. Let him make a choice that matters in his life for once."

Jungkook's indignant "yooo!" is drowned out by Yeji's dramatic sigh.

"Fine," she concedes, throwing up her hands. "But when we get stuck with a shitty song selection, don't come crying to me."

"I'll make it up to you," Jungkook promises, already bouncing with excitement. "You can choose the first song."

"Damn right I will." She huffs, no anger behind it.

Jungkook turns to you, triumph written all over his stupid handsome face. "See? I can be reasona—" He cuts himself off with a yelp as you swat at him playfully.

"Don't push it," you warn, but you're smiling despite yourself.

The hostess, who's been watching this entire exchange with the weary resignation of someone who's seen far too many drunk people argue over karaoke rooms, clears her throat pointedly.

"So... deluxe room? For how many hours?"

"Two," Hobi calls from where he's now organizing a drink order with the rest of the group. "At least!"

"Follow me," she says, gathering menus and leading the way down a dimly lit hallway plastered with even more music posters.

Your odd group trails after her like ducklings, Jungkook practically skipping in excitement. You hang back slightly, still unsteady on your feet, and find yourself walking beside Yoongi, who's finally pocketed his phone.

"You sure about this?" he asks quietly, eyeing you with what might be concern. "You look like you're about ten minutes from passing out."

"I'm fine," you insist, though the hallway is doing that weird tunnel-vision thing that definitely isn't normal. "Just pacing myself."

He snorts, clearly not buying it. "Sure."

"I am," you argue, even as you reach out to steady yourself against the wall. "Totally in control."

"Right." His tone is dry as dust. "That's why you're currently leaning on a poster of Justin Bieber."

You glance over and, sure enough, your hand is planted firmly on young Bieber's face.

You snatch it away with a grimace.

"Ew."

"Exactly." He doesn't say anything else, but he stays close as you make your way down the hall, oddly comforting in its steadiness.

Just like the day at the gynecologist.

The deluxe room, when you finally reach it, lives up to Jungkook's hype—it's large enough to fit your entire group comfortably, with plush seating along the walls, a central space that is indeed illuminated by color-changing floor panels, and not one but two disco balls hanging from the ceiling. The most impressive feature, though, is the giant screen taking up one entire wall, currently displaying the karaoke company's logo bouncing around like an old DVD screensaver.

"This is amazing," Jungkook declares, immediately bouncing onto the dance floor, which lights up green and blue under his feet. "Worth every penny."

"We haven't paid yet," Taehyung reminds him, but he's smiling as he says it.

"Details," Jungkook waves dismissively, spinning in a circle that makes the floor shift colors again. "Come on, everyone pick a song! I want to hear Hobi destroy 'Uptown Funk' again!"

"Bold of you to assume I'd repeat myself," Hobi says, already flipping through the song catalog. "I'm thinking Beyoncé tonight."

"God help us all," Taehyung mutters, but he's already grabbing a microphone.

You sink onto one of the couches, grateful for the chance to sit before your legs give out.

The room is spinning slightly, but in a pleasant way now—like you're on a very slow merry-go-round. From this vantage point, you can watch as everyone settles in, claiming seats and drinks and song choices with the chaotic energy of people determined to have a good time.

Jungkook is still in the center of it all, now trying to convince Yeji to duet with him on some song you can't quite make out over the general noise. She's protesting, but you can tell she'll give in eventually—there's a gleam in her eye that says she's enjoying this more than she's letting on.

The first note of "Don't Stop Believin'" hasn't even finished before Hobi's on his feet, microphone clutched in his hand like it's the Olympic torch and he's the last runner.

What follows can only be described as a religious experience.

The man doesn't just sing—he performs.

Every note, every gesture, every hip thrust (and there are many) executed with the determination of someone who's spent significant time studying the art of karaoke domination.

By the time he hits the chorus, the entire room is on their feet, singing along whether they want to or not.

You find yourself belting out words you didn't even know you remembered, arm slung around Yeji's shoulders as you sway dramatically.

And that's just the beginning.

Taehyung and Jungkook follow with some K-pop song you've never heard but somehow everyone else seems to know the choreography to. Irya delivers a surprisingly powerful Adele ballad that has Yeji staring at her with undisguised adoration. Seth and Ryan butcher 'Bohemian Rhapsody' with the confidence of men who have never been told they can't sing.

Somewhere between your third vodka cranberry and Yeji's unexpectedly heartfelt rendition of 'Dancing Queen,' you lose all remaining inhibitions.

Which is how you end up center stage, microphone in hand, challenging Taehyung to an Eminem rap battle that neither of you are remotely qualified for.

"I've got this," you hiss, yanking the mic toward you as the opening beats of 'Lose Yourself' start playing. "I've been preparing my whole life. Get ready to get your ass beaten, jerkinci."

"You've been preparing to embarrass yourself," Taehyung retorts, tugging the microphone back. "I actually know all the words."

"Bullshit. Nobody knows all the words."

The first verse hits and you're both fumbling, words slurring together as you try to keep pace with the rapid-fire lyrics.

You've got maybe every third word right, but what you lack in accuracy you make up for in enthusiasm, half-shouting into the microphone while Taehyung tries to pry it from your grasp.

"His palms are sweaty—"

"—mom's spaghetti—"

"—nervous, but on the surface he looks—"

"—SPAGHETTI!"

You dissolve into laughter at the same time Taehyung does, both of you bent double as the backing track continues without you.

"Draw," Jungkook declares from somewhere to your left. "You both lose. Spectacularly."

"I clearly won," you argue, straightening up with as much dignity as you can muster, which isn't much. "I hit at least four words correctly."

"Wow, four whole words," Taehyung deadpans. "Eminem is shaking."

"He should be," you agree solemnly. "I'm coming for his whole career."

The music shifts to something slower, and you realize you're suddenly very, very thirsty. And maybe a little dizzy.

You hand the microphone to Jimin, who's been quietly watching the disaster unfold with a bemused smile.

"Your turn," you tell him, patting his arm. "Show them how it's done."

He starts to protest, but Irya's already pulling him toward the screen, insisting they do a duet.

You make your way back to the couches, flopping down with more force than intended. The room tilts briefly before righting itself.

"Need a break?" Jungkook asks, appearing beside you with a glass of water.

When did he get water? More importantly, when did he get so considerate?

"Maybe," you admit, accepting the glass. "Thanks."

He studies your face for a moment, and you resist the urge to check if you've got something on it.

"I'm gonna hit the bathroom. Don't pass out while I'm gone."

"No promises."

He laughs, the sound warm even over the pulsing music, and then he's gone, weaving through your friends toward the exit.

You take a long sip of water, letting the cool liquid soothe your throat, raw from shouting lyrics and laughing too hard.

Your eyes dance around, noticing Hobi teaching Ryan some dance move on the light-up floor, Yeji and Irya huddled together on one of the couches, heads bent close as they flip through the song catalog, Taehyung now trying to convince Yoongi to join him for something that has Yoongi shaking his head emphatically.

It's... nice. In a chaotic, messy, not-at-all-what-you-planned kind of way.

The couch dips as someone sits beside you. You turn, expecting Yeji or Jimin, and find yourself face to face with Tessa instead.

"Hi!" she says brightly, tucking a strand of perfect auburn hair behind her ear. "Mind if I join you for a minute?"

"Free country," you shrug, shifting slightly to make room even though there's plenty of space.

She smiles, and you can't help noticing how ridiculously pretty she is even in the garish lighting of the karaoke room. No smudged mascara, no frizzy hair, no signs of being several drinks in like the rest of you heathens.

It's annoying.

Pretty people should have the decency to look at least a little disheveled when everyone else does.

"That was quite a performance," she says, smiling warmly. "I didn't know you were into rap."

"I'm not, really," you admit, taking another sip of water. "I just couldn't let Taehyung think he's better than me at something."

She laughs, the sound light and genuinely amused. "You guys have known each other long?"

"Not really. Just through Jungkook, honestly."

"Oh!" Her face brightens at the mention of his name. "That's actually... I was hoping to talk to you about him, if you don't mind?"

The way her voice lifts hopefully at the end, combined with the slight flush on her cheeks that has nothing to do with alcohol, tells you exactly where this conversation is headed.

Great.

Girl talk about your hookup buddy. Exactly what you signed up for tonight.

But there's something so genuinely nice about her expression that you can't bring yourself to brush her off.

It's not her fault Jungkook's... well, Jungkook.

"What about him?" you ask, though you already know.

"I just... I really like him? And I was wondering if you had any insights, you know, being his roommate and all."

You should have seen this coming.

Of course the pretty film student would be into Jungkook. Of course she'd want insider information.

Wait.

How the actual fuck does Jungkook pull these types of women?

Like, seriously. This girl looks like she should be dating a 6'4" investment banker with good hair, not your annoying roommate who sometimes forgets to wash his coffee mug for so long it develops its own ecosystem.

The universe is truly unfair.

"I've only lived with him for about a month," you say, because it's true and also gives you time to process.

"I know, I know," she says quickly. "But you must have some impression of him by now, right? Like, what's he really like? Outside of class and everything?"

You take another long drink of water, considering.

The truth is, you do know things about Jungkook that probably no one in this room knows—like how he bakes sourdough when he can't sleep, or how he gets oddly protective of Griffin's food schedule, or the precise sound he makes when he comes.

Which is actually a thought that gives you pause.

If Tessa and Jungkook start dating, that means your arrangement would end.

No more convenient stress relief.

No more really good sex after bad days.

That would kind of suck, honestly. Because whatever else he is, Jungkook is fantastic in bed. The idea of giving that up isn't particularly appealing.

But on the other hand... aren't you kind of friends now? Or at least trying to be?

And friends help each other out.

Even if that means letting go of a mutually beneficial sex arrangement.

Besides, look at her. She's gorgeous, clearly intelligent, and seems genuinely sweet. Jungkook would be a complete idiot to pass that up for occasional hookups with his sarcastic roommate.

She's still looking at you expectantly, those wide hazel eyes so earnest it's almost painful.

"He's..." you start, then sigh. "Look, I don't really know him that well outside of basic roommate stuff."

"Oh." Her face falls slightly.

Dammit.

Why does she have to look like a disappointed puppy?

"But," you continue, "I can tell you he's very passionate about film. Like, genuinely passionate, not just doing it because it seems cool."

Her expression brightens immediately. "I know, right? The way he talks about cinematography is so... I don't know, refreshing? Like he actually cares about the art of it."

"And he's good with his hands," you add before you can stop yourself, then immediately want to die. "I mean, like, fixing things! He fixed our bathroom sink when it was leaking."

Nice save, idiot.

"That's so sweet," she says, apparently not picking up on your momentary panic. "He seems really thoughtful, you know? Like, in class he's always offering to help people with their equipment."

You nod, because that actually tracks with what you've seen of him. For all his annoying qualities, Jungkook does seem to genuinely care about helping people sometimes. It's one of his more redeeming features.

"You really like him, huh?" you ask, though it's obvious.

She blushes, looking down at her hands. "Is it that obvious?"

"A little," you admit, smiling despite yourself. "But it's cute."

And it is cute, actually.

She seems genuinely into him, not just physically attracted or playing some kind of game.

It's surprising that a girl like her would be interested in your dumbass roommate, but weirder things have happened.

"Do you think I have a chance?" she asks, her voice dropping to a near whisper, as if she's sharing a secret. "I mean, I've been trying to drop hints, but I can't tell if he's picking up on them or just being nice."

You glance toward the door where Jungkook disappeared, considering. Because in all honesty, you have no idea what his type is beyond 'willing and available.' Your arrangement has never included discussions about who else either of you might be seeing or interested in. For all you know, he could be totally into Tessa.

And really, why wouldn't he be? She's gorgeous, smart from what you can tell, and seems genuinely kind.

She's basically way too good for him, but if she can't see that, it's not your job to point it out.

"I think..." you start slowly, turning back to her. "I think you should go for it."

"Really?" Her whole face lights up, and you find yourself smiling back reflexively.

"Yeah, really."

You straighten up, suddenly feeling like you're on more solid ground. This is just basic girl code, after all. Helping a fellow woman navigate the treacherous waters of modern dating, even if the guy in question is your occasional fuck buddy.

Plus, you can be the bigger person here.

Yes, the sex with Jungkook is great, but there will be other guys. Other hot idiots to hook up with. It's not like he's the only option in New York City.

"Look, Jungkook's... an okay guy, I guess? But if you like him, you should definitely let him know. Life's too short for subtle hints."

"That's what Irya said too!" She laughs, reaching out to squeeze your arm gratefully. "Oh my god, thank you. I was so nervous to ask you, because I didn't know if you two were... you know."

"Me and Jungkook?" You almost choke on your water. "God, no. Absolutely not. We're just roommates. Barely even friends, honestly."

It's not entirely a lie. Yes, you've been sleeping together, but it's just physical. There are no feelings involved. It's just convenient, uncomplicated sex—exactly how you like it.

"Oh, good," she says, relief clear in her voice. "I wasn't sure, and I'd never want to step on any toes."

"No toes here," you assure her, wiggling your feet for emphasis. "Completely toe-free zone."

She giggles, and you find yourself smiling back. She really is nice, which makes it hard to keep disliking her just for being pretty and put-together.

"So," you continue, feeling oddly invested now. "What's your plan? How are you going to let him know you're interested?"

"I don't know," she admits, biting her lip. "I was thinking maybe I could ask him to coffee? To discuss a project or something? But that might be too subtle."

"Definitely too subtle. Guys are dense as bricks. Trust me."

"What would you suggest then?"

You tap your chin, thinking. "You should just ask him out directly. No pretense, no 'let's discuss this project.' Just 'hey, I like you, let's go on a date.'"

"Oh god," she groans, covering her face with her hands. "I don't know if I'm brave enough for that."

"Sure you are," you encourage, surprising yourself with your sudden enthusiasm for this matchmaking endeavor. "Look at you! You're gorgeous, smart, and frankly, way out of his league. If anything, he should be intimidated by you."

She peeks through her fingers, looking both flattered and skeptical. "You really think so?"

"Absolutely. In fact..." You pull out your phone, opening your contacts. "Give me your number. I'll help you figure out the perfect approach."

"Seriously?" She beams, reciting her number as you type it in. "That would be amazing. I'm so glad we got to talk tonight."

"Me too," you say, and find that you actually mean it. "And hey, even if things with Jungkook don't work out, we should hang out sometime. You seem cool."

"I'd love that!" She looks genuinely delighted, which makes you feel a small pang of guilt for your initial judgment of her based solely on her perfect hair and flawless makeup.

As you finish entering her contact info, you glance around and realize Jungkook still hasn't returned from the bathroom.

It's been what, ten minutes? Fifteen? Way too long, even accounting for lines or hand-washing (which, knowing him, is probably not a factor anyway).

"Hey, I'll be right back," you tell Tessa, pocketing your phone. "I just want to check that your future boyfriend hasn't fallen in or something."

She chuckles at the term but nods, still smiling. "Sure. I'll save your seat."

You navigate through the chaos of the room, dodging Hobi's enthusiastic dance moves and stepping over Taehyung, who's now sprawled dramatically across the floor reciting what sounds like Shakespeare to a bemused Yeji. The hallway outside is quieter, though the bass from neighboring rooms thrums through the walls.

Where the hell did Jungkook go? The bathrooms are just down the hall, and there's no way he'd ditch his own birthday celebration.

Maybe he's answering a call? Or got waylaid by some random person?

Or maybe the idiot got lost on the way back. You wouldn't put it past him.

With a sigh, you head toward the bathrooms, determined to drag his ass back to the party.

After all, you've got a stunning redhead waiting to shoot her shot with him, and you'll be damned if your sacrifice of great casual sex goes to waste because he can't find his way back from taking a piss.

You turn the corner, ready to pound on the men's room door and yell at Jungkook for taking forever, when—oh.

He's not alone.

There's a girl. Of course there's a girl. Because when isn't there a girl around Jungkook?

This one's got shiny black hair down to her waist and is wearing what looks like an actual fucking Chanel dress to a karaoke bar.

Who does that?

The kind of person who also wears Louboutins to a place where the floor is permanently sticky with spilled beer, apparently.

But it's not her rich bitch outfit that makes you stop.

It's Jungkook.

He looks... wrong.

He's staring at the floor like it's the most fascinating thing he's ever seen, shoulders hunched forward in a way that makes him seem smaller somehow. His usual swagger is completely gone. He keeps opening and closing his mouth like a fish gasping for air, not actually saying anything.

It's weird.

Really fucking weird.

Before you can think better of it, you're walking toward them.

Stupid protective instinct. Stupid tequila. Stupid feet moving without permission.

Jungkook notices you first, his eyes widening in what looks like panic. The girl turns around, giving you a slow once-over that makes you feel like you've been scanned and found wanting.

She's beautiful. Like, unfairly beautiful. The kind of beautiful that probably makes other girls hate her on sight. Perfect skin, dark eyes, delicate features that look more doll-like than human. Her smile is almost too perfect, like it was professionally installed rather than something that grew naturally on her face.

"Oh my gosh, hi!" Her voice is high and sweet, like artificial honey. "I'm so sorry, am I keeping him too long? You must be looking for Kooky."

Kooky? Is she fucking serious right now?

"Can you believe we ran into each other? What are the chances?" She grabs your arm like you're old friends, squeezing with perfectly manicured nails that dig in slightly. "I was just telling him it must be fate. Some connections are just meant to be, right?"

She's acting like you're all at some cute reunion instead of standing in a gross hallway outside a karaoke bathroom. Her perfume is expensive and overwhelming—the kind that probably has a French name and costs more than your rent.

Jungkook clears his throat, still not looking at her. "It's just a coincidence, Mia."

Mia.

The name hits like a slap.

This is her? The ex that sent those texts that made him look like he'd seen a ghost?

Bitch looks like she belongs on a billboard, not stalking her ex in a karaoke bar.

"Oh, you're so skeptical," she laughs, the sound like tiny bells. "Always was. That's what I loved about you though, always keeping me grounded." She turns to you with a conspiratorial smile. "He's the practical one. I'm the dreamer. We balanced each other so well."

She's talking about him like he's not standing right there.

Like he's a character in a story she's telling.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name? I'm Mia."

"Y/N," you say flatly. "Jungkook's roommate."

"Roommate! Oh how wonderful," she claps her hands together like you've just announced you've won the lottery. "It's so nice to see Kooky making new friends. He was always so reserved with people he doesn't know well."

She leans in close enough that you can smell her breath—minty with an undercurrent of expensive champagne.

"Trust issues. We worked on it a lot during our time together."

She says it like they were in some kind of therapy program, not... dating.

What the actual fuck?

"I've found him pretty straightforward," you say, stepping closer to Jungkook because something is clearly wrong here.

He's still staring at the floor, still silent, still looking nothing like the annoying, confident asshole you live with.

"Oh, then he must really trust you," Mia says, eyes wide like you've shared some profound revelation. "That's so special. After everything he went through with his father, it's hard for him to let people in."

His father? Since when does Jungkook talk about his family? He's never mentioned a word about his father to you.

Jungkook's head snaps up at this, face gone pale. "Mia, don't—"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" She covers her mouth with one hand, looking embarrassed. "Was that not something...? I just assumed since you're roommates..." She turns to you and shrugs apologetically. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it. Please forget I said anything."

Right.

Like you're going to forget she just dropped that little bomb.

But now's not the time to dig into whatever daddy issues Jungkook's apparently hiding.

"It's fine," you say, because what else can you say?

"Anyway," she continues, her voice shifting back to that syrupy sweetness, "I was just telling Kooky we should get together sometime. Catch up properly."

She squeezes Jungkook's arm.

"I've missed our little movie nights. Nobody appreciates Park Chan-wook like you do."

Jungkook's still doing his best statue impression, eyes fixed somewhere near the exit sign like he's calculating how fast he can make a break for it.

"We were just getting ready to leave, actually," she says, gesturing down the hall. "I'm here with some friends from Parsons—we have a private room upstairs. You two should join us! We have so much champagne, it's ridiculous. My father just closed another deal in Singapore, so we're celebrating."

Of course her dad makes international business deals. Of course she has a private room upstairs. Of course she's casually drinking champagne while the rest of you slurp tequila from plastic cups.

"I don't think—" Jungkook starts, voice sounding rusty like he's forgotten how to use it.

"It would be so fun!" Mia insists, looking at you now with wide, earnest eyes. "Honestly, any friend of Kooky's is a friend of mine. I've been dying to get to know the people in his life now."

She's laying it on thick, like she's auditioning for the role of Supportive Ex-Girlfriend in some bad rom-com. It's almost impressive how sincere she sounds while being so obviously full of shit.

"We're actually here with a group," you say, firmer this time. "It's Jungkook's birthday."

"Your birthday!" she gasps, turning to Jungkook with exaggerated surprise. "Oh, I can't believe I forgot! I used to be so good with dates."

She steps closer to him, practically pressing against his chest.

"I should have gotten you something. Although I think my presence is gift enough, don't you? Just like old times." She laughs, light and tinkling. "Remember that birthday I planned for you last year? The surprise party at The Standard? Everyone said it was the best night of their lives."

You can practically see her subtext in neon letters above her head: 'Whatever you losers planned tonight is nothing compared to what I did for him.'

"I don't think he wants to reminisce," you say, surprised by the edge in your own voice. "We should get back."

The bitch's smile falters for just a second before snapping back into place.

"Oh, I totally get it. You guys have plans. I would never want to intrude on your... celebration."

The way she says 'celebration' makes it sound like she's referring to a kindergarten birthday party with paper hats and apple juice.

"We should get your number though, Kooky," she continues, already pulling out her phone. "I changed mine recently. We really should catch up soon. I have so much to tell you."

Jungkook looks like he'd rather eat glass than take her number. His hands are actually shaking slightly—what the hell happened between these two?

"I don't think that's necessary," you say, and without really thinking about it, you link your arm through his.

His skin is cold through his shirt sleeve.

This is the first time his skin's ever been cold.

He's usually always a walking furnace—a warm backdrop to your perpetually freezing body.

"Why not? Can't hurt." She tilts her head, eyes crinkling in a tight smile.

"Might hurt."

Mia's eyes flash to where you're touching him, her smile tightening just a fraction.

"Oh, I see," she says, her voice still sweet but with something sharper underneath. "You two are..."

"Friends," you finish firmly. "Good friends."

"How sweet," she says.

She reaches out and straightens Jungkook's collar in a way that feels weirdly intimate.

"You always did need someone to look after you, didn't you, baby?"

She sighs, the sound somehow both theatrical and condescending. You feel Jungkook tense next to you.

What the hell is she talking about?

"Save my number," she says, pressing a small business card—who even carries those anymore?—into his hand. "For when you realize what you're missing. You know where to find me when you want a real connection again."

She leans in and kisses his cheek, holding it a beat too long.

"Happy birthday, Kooky. Try not to have too much fun without me."

She gives you a final look, equal parts pity and dismissal, before sauntering away down the hall, her heels clicking a perfect rhythm against the floor.

Jesus Christ. Is this real life? Did you just witness an actual soap opera villain in action?

The whole thing feels surreal, like you accidentally walked onto a TV set during filming.

"You okay?" you ask Jungkook when she's gone, because what else can you say?

He's still staring after her, jaw tight.

"Fine."

"Bullshit."

He glances at you, momentarily surprised by your bluntness. Then he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I... I think I need some air."

"Yeah, of course."

Not that you really have any other response ready. What are you supposed to say? 'Sorry your ex is a walking red flag'? 'Want to talk about whatever the fuck just happened?' 'By the way, what was that father line?'

"I'll be back in five," he says, already moving toward the exit sign at the end of the hall. "I just need a minute."

"Okay."

He pauses, glancing back.

"Thanks."

Then he's gone, pushing through the exit door, leaving you standing in the hallway with the lingering scent of expensive perfume and a head full of questions.

What the hell was all that about? And why does he look like he's seen a ghost? And what did she mean about his father?

You shake your head, trying to clear it.

Not your business. Not your problem. You have your own shit to deal with without adding Jungkook's ex drama to the list.

But as you turn to head back to the karaoke room, you can't help glancing toward the exit where he disappeared.

He really did look... small. Scared, almost.

Nothing like the cocky asshole who drives you crazy on a daily basis.

It's disconcerting, seeing him like that. Like peeking behind a curtain you didn't know existed.

You're going to need another drink for this.

You're going to need another drink for this

It's pathetic, really.

Jungkook knows it. He acknowledges it fully, standing here on the rooftop of some overpriced karaoke joint in the heart of Manhattan, staring down at the tiny flask in his hand.

Not whiskey, not vodka—no, nothing even remotely respectable. Just pure vanilla extract.

Fucking vanilla extract.

He twists off the cap, lifts it to his lips, and takes a small sip. It burns just enough going down to remind him he's alive, but it tastes good.

Always good.

Sweet enough to mask the bitterness that's permanently lodged at the back of his throat these days.

It's not the watered-down shit they sell at grocery stores either—he learned that lesson quickly after one particularly desperate night ended with him gagging over his sink.

No, this is the real deal, the expensive kind he has to order online from some bougie shop in France that probably laughs every time they ship another bottle to New York City.

His therapist side-eyed him when he first confessed this little habit—because who wouldn't? Who the fuck drinks baking ingredients to cope?

But after a few awkward seconds of silence and scribbling notes on her pad (he hates when she does that), she'd shrugged and said it was better than alcohol or pills or whatever else he could be doing instead.

So Jungkook took what he could get.

If vanilla extract keeps him from self-destructing completely, then that's what he'll stick to.

He leans against the rooftop railing, cold metal pressing into his forearms through his thin shirt. Below him, lights blur together into a neon haze—yellow taxis weaving through traffic like fireflies darting between trees. The city beneath him looks both indifferent and alive, while Jungkook feels like he's barely holding it together.

Happy fucking birthday to him.

Birthdays are supposed to mean something. Another year older, wiser, closer to figuring shit out—but Jungkook just feels stuck.

Twenty-something years old and still sneaking away from his own birthday party because seeing Mia had knocked the air out of his lungs in a way that made him feel like a fucking teenager again.

Weak.

Pathetic.

Unable to even form a coherent sentence when she'd looked at him with those eyes—the ones that used to make him feel special until he realized they were just another weapon in her arsenal.

He takes another sip of vanilla extract, savoring the burn this time as it slides down his throat. It's stupidly comforting in a way he can't quite explain—not even to himself.

Maybe it's nostalgia or some childhood memory he's buried deep down beneath layers of emotional baggage and trauma from Mia and everything else he's fucked up along the way.

Or maybe it's just because it's something sweet and simple in a life that's become anything but.

He chuckles bitterly under his breath, shaking his head at himself.

"You're fucking ridiculous," he mutters into the night air.

But ridiculous or not—pathetic or not—it helps.

And right now, that's all that matters.

Twenty minutes. That's how long he's been up here, hiding like a child. Twenty minutes of staring at the skyline and trying to get his shit together. Twenty minutes of letting Mia's voice echo in his head like a bad song he can't turn off.

He closes his eyes briefly, inhaling deeply as cool September air fills his lungs.

He can hear muffled laughter drifting up from downstairs—the karaoke room packed with film school friends who've probably noticed his absence by now—and for once tonight, Jungkook doesn't mind being forgotten for a little while longer.

He'll go back eventually; plaster on another easy smile like nothing happened because that's what he does best these days: pretend everything is fine until everyone else believes it.

And then—the icing on the cake.

He mentally claps for himself at that one. Solid joke. A little on the nose, sure, but he'll take it.

You're there.

He doesn't even need to look to know it's you. That faint trace of vanilla that isn't his flask. Not the sharp, concentrated kind that burns his throat and keeps him grounded.

No, you smell like vanilla, but softer. Warmer. Like someone took the edge off and folded it into something human.

There's something else underneath it too—milky, maybe? Creamy? He doesn't know how to describe it without sounding like a complete idiot, so he doesn't try.

It's funny, though.

Hilarious, actually.

Because in the four weeks he's known you, he knows you're anything but soft.

You're mouthy as hell.

Reckless in a way that makes him think you've got some kind of death wish or maybe just a really bad sense of self-preservation.

You talk back every time he opens his mouth, like it's your personal mission to make sure he never gets the last word.

He should find you annoying.

Irritating enough to make him want to jump off this rooftop just to get away from you.

And yeah, sometimes he does—like when you leave your tea bags in the sink instead of throwing them out like a normal person, or when you steal his hoodies and pretend they just 'ended up' in your laundry by accident (as if he doesn't know you're lying).

But mostly?

Mostly, you're just...there.

A sudden disruption in his life when he was finally starting to feel okay again. Starting to enjoy the quiet. Heal, or whatever the fuck people call it when they're trying to piece themselves back together after everything's gone to shit.

And then you came along.

All talk back and adrenaline and thrill and sex.

Really good sex.

He shouldn't be thinking about that right now—not here, not with you standing behind him like some kind of ghost haunting his already-fucked-up night—but it's hard not to when everything about you feels like a challenge he can't help but rise to.

The way you smell, the way you look at him like you're daring him to say something stupid just so you can tear him apart for it...it's infuriating.

Addictive too.

He takes another sip from his flask because what else is he supposed to do?

He can feel your eyes on him—sharp and curious, probably trying to figure out why he's up here alone with nothing but a tiny bottle of vanilla extract for company—and suddenly the burn in his throat isn't enough to distract him anymore.

"Didn't know karaoke had a rooftop package," you say eventually.

Jungkook snorts before he can stop himself, shaking his head as he screws the cap back onto his flask.

"Yeah, well," he says, turning around just enough to glance at you over his shoulder. "Figured I'd splurge for my birthday."

Your eyebrows lift at that—just a little—but you don't say anything right away.

"You know they've noticed you're not around, right?" you say after a moment, your tone careful. "People are asking."

He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

Of course they are. Because that's what happens when you disappear for twenty minutes in the middle of your own birthday party.

"You good?" you add, and there's something in your voice that makes him look at you directly. "Because we need you back there."

God, you're annoying. Always so direct, always cutting through his bullshit like it's tissue paper.

He should hate this—hate you—but somehow, Jungkook can't really bring himself to fully mean it.

"How'd you find me?" he asks instead of answering your question.

You shrug. "Just a hunch. Figured if I wanted to escape, I'd go up, not down."

He stares at the city below, the skyline stretching out like a postcard someone forgot to mail. The cars are specks from up here, tiny dots crawling along the veins of Manhattan. It's almost peaceful if he squints hard enough to ignore the noise humming faintly in the background—the kind that never really stops, even at this height.

For a moment, it's quiet. Just him, the skyline, and the faint burn of vanilla still lingering on his tongue.

Then he hears it: your footsteps. Soft, slow, like you're trying not to startle him but also don't care enough to stop yourself from intruding.

Of course you're here.

You stop just short of the railing at first, hovering like you're testing the waters.

Then, after what feels like an eternity but is probably only a few seconds, you step closer and lean against it. Right next to him. Close enough that he can catch another whiff of that vanilla-milky-whatever-the-fuck scent that's been messing with his head all night.

He doesn't look at you. Doesn't have to. He knows exactly what you're doing—trying to see whatever it is he's staring at like it's some big mystery that needs solving.

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth despite himself because yeah, this is so you.

Meddling without actually meddling. Curious without outright saying it.

And he doesn't know how he knows that about you, but he does.

So when you finally break the silence with a casual, "What was that?"—your chin jutting toward his jacket pocket—he's not surprised.

"Huh?" He plays dumb, glancing down at his pocket like he has no idea what you're talking about. "Nothing."

Your eyes narrow slightly, and he can feel your gaze boring into him even though he still refuses to meet it.

"Nothing," you repeat flatly, like you don't believe him for a second. "Right."

"Yup." He pops the 'p' for emphasis and turns his attention back to the city below, hoping you'll drop it.

You don't.

"What kind of nothing are we talking about here?" Your tone is light, teasing—but there's an edge of curiosity there too. The kind that tells him you're not going to let this go anytime soon.

"It's just...nothing," he says again, more firmly this time but still avoiding your gaze.

"Uh-huh." You lean in slightly, tilting your head as if that'll give you a better angle on whatever he's hiding. "So nothing just happens to fit perfectly in your jacket pocket?"

He sighs, shaking his head slightly as a low chuckle escapes him despite himself.

"You're relentless, you know that?"

"Yep," you say easily, popping the 'p' right back at him. "So? What is it?"

He hesitates for a moment, debating whether or not to tell you the truth.

It's stupid—embarrassing even—but something about the way you're looking at him makes it hard to keep deflecting.

Finally, with a resigned sigh and a slight smirk tugging at his lips, he pulls the flask out of his pocket and holds it up for you to see.

"It's vanilla extract," he says simply.

You blink at him, clearly not expecting that answer.

"Vanilla extract," you repeat slowly, like you're waiting for him to say he's joking.

"Yup."

He unscrews the cap and takes another small sip just to prove his point before screwing it back on and slipping it into his pocket again.

For once, you're speechless—and Jungkook can't help but feel a small sense of victory as he leans back against the railing with a smug grin on his face.

"Happy now?"

The silence stretches a beat too long after his admission. He licks vanilla residue off his bottom lip, the sweetness turning cloying under your stare.

"It's pathetic, I know."

"I mean—it's weird," you say, shrugging. "But not pathetic-weird. Just... niche."

He huffs, drumming his fingers against the railing. "Yeah, who the fuck drinks vanilla extract, huh? Couldn't stick to whiskey like a normal fuckup. Had to be quirky."

The word drips with self-mockery.

You lean back, arms crossed. "We all have our vices. At least you don't smell like an ashtray."

"You'd kick my ass if I smoked in the apartment."

"Damn right."

The corner of his mouth twitches. Below, a siren wails—distant, unimportant. He watches you watch the city, the neon glow catching on your eyes.

"It's... comforting. Don't know why. Ethanol or whatever—therapist says it's placebo with benefits."

"Placebo with benefits," you repeat, deadpan. "That your band name?"

He snorts. "Nah. Ethanol Enthusiasts."

"Catchy."

Another pause.

The wind tugs at his sleeves, carrying your scent again.

Fuck.

"What started it?" you ask, casual as someone asking about the weather.

His thumb rubs the flask's engraving—a nervous tic he didn't know he had.

"Didn't wanna become my old man. Found this... seemed safer." The admission tastes bitter. He backtracks with a shrug. "Therapist greenlit it. Win-win."

You hum, noncommittal.

"Explains why you're obsessed with vanilla lattes."

"Am not—"

"You are. You side-eye my tea like it's piss."

"Because it is piss. Chamomile's for grandmas."

"Says the guy sipping baking supplies."

He barks a laugh, sharp and surprised. When he turns, you're smirking—that infuriating, I-win smirk that usually makes him want to rile you up.

Now it just feels... warm.

"You smell like vanilla," he says softly.

Your smirk falters. "You've mentioned. Usually when you're—"

"Not then." He cuts you off, voice lower. "All the time. Even when you're not... y'know."

"Y'know?" You raise a brow.

"Fuckin'—wearing shit. Perfume. Whatever." He gestures vaguely at you. "It's just... you."

The words hang, raw and clumsy.

You blink, that sharp mask slipping for a half-second. He watches your throat move as you swallow.

"Huh," you say finally.

"Huh," he mimics, too quick. Deflect. Always deflect. "Maybe you're part cookie. Secretly."

You freeze. Just for a heartbeat.

Then you smirk, but it doesn't reach your eyes.

"Maybe I'm marinating."

"Maybe," he murmurs.

Another siren. Another beep. Another car being way too loud in this fucking city.

"Or maybe you were made just for me."

It slips out. Too raw. Too honest.

Shit.

Jungkook's throat tightens—what the fuck was that?

He licks his lips, grip tightening on the railing as he scrambles to claw the moment back from the edge of whatever that just was.

"I mean—" He forces a scoff, rolling his eyes like he's mocking himself. "—or you're just some undercover therapist plant. Be honest."

He side-eyes you, smirk plastered on.

"You know Dr. Liao, don't you? This is an intervention. 'Let's gaslight Jungkook into emotional vulnerability via mediocre sex and vanilla-scented body wash—'"

You snort, cutting him off. "Mediocre?"

"Painfully average."

"Excuse you?" You open your mouth exaggeratedly, and he can't help but grin at the sheer offense in your expression. "Okay wow, we are never having sex again."

"Cap."

"Are you seriously using online slang in real life?"

"Yeah, because you're capping."

"I am not capping and stop doing that, it's so cringe."

"But you just said capping too?"

"I—that's because you said it first you moron!"

"And you said it second so who's the real moron here?"

"That's it, I'm never wearing vanilla perfume ever again."

He stops abruptly at that. Looks you in the eyes.

"Like you are right now?"

You open your mouth. Close it real fast. Press your lips together.

"Maybe."

"No maybes. I can literally smell it from here."

He tilts his head slowly, letting you move back if that's what you want.

But you don't.

And he takes that as an invitation, his nose hovering over the soft spot under your ear, where you always apply your cologne on.

"Right here." He mutters, voice velvety and rough. "Really makes me wanna fuck you."

You don't move your head, but your hands come to rest on his chest, and he likes that.

Likes that, despite whatever semblance of control you're trying to channel, you're slipping out of balance.

Like you need to hold on to something—on to him.

"I could fuck you here, you know." He continues, pressing his lips against your skin as he angles your bodies just right—your back against the railing, both his arms caging you in. "Right against the railing. Give the locals a nice view."

"You're insane." You say, but it lacks conviction. He knows it does. "Nobody down there could see us from below, this is a skyscraper and we're on the rooftop."

He clicks his tongue, but can't quite hide his amusement.

"Always ruining the fun. Is this your way of saying no?"

You lick your lips. Feel the goosebumps erupt as his lips trail down your neck.

"No."

"Hmm?" He plants another kiss. "So is it your way of saying yes?"

"No."

You repeat; and this time he actually leans back a bit, trying to figure out what you're aiming for.

"It's a 'maybe when we get home'. We are not fucking in public, Ro, during your birthday, when all your friends are gonna be wondering where we both are."

His eyes don't stray away from yours. Then, he chuckles.

He doesn't know why he chuckles. Doesn't understand what about your commentary he found funny. Perhaps it's your way of being sensitive even when he's goofing around but totally ready to fuck you for real if you so much as ask.

But it feels familiar.

Safe.

No feelings, no depth—just the usual bullshit.

He likes it. Likes how your smirk looks softer now, under the moonlight, eyes crinkling at the corners, and fuck, he needs another sip of vanilla.

But the flask stays buried in his pocket.

And then you say, "c'mon, Rogue. Your fanclub's singing off-key Mariah Carey downstairs."

And he can't help but reply with a "fuck, really?"

"Taehyung's hitting whistle tones. It's apocalyptic."

He groans, pushing off the railing. "Fine. But you're explaining why I'm not drunk."

"Tell them you're a pastry chef now."

"Fuck you."

"When we get home—"

The rooftop door slams open with enough force to make both of you jump apart like startled cats.

Taehyung stands in the doorway, chest heaving, eyes wild as they scan the space before landing on Jungkook.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he breathes, voice tight with something that sounds suspiciously like genuine panic. "You're up here? On a rooftop?"

Jungkook stiffens beside you, his casual posture vanishing in an instant.

"Tae—"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

Taehyung cuts him off, storming across the rooftop with the intensity of a small hurricane.

His eyes flick briefly to you, then back to Jungkook, who suddenly looks like he wants to melt into the concrete.

"A rooftop? Really?"

You glance between them, completely lost.

There's clearly something happening here that you're not privy to—some subtext that makes this more than just Taehyung being dramatic about Jungkook ditching his own party.

"It's fine," Jungkook says, his voice careful in a way you've never heard before. "I just needed some air."

"Air," Taehyung repeats, like the word tastes bitter. "Sure. Great. Because there's definitely not air anywhere else in this building."

His hands are shaking, you notice. Actually trembling.

"What the fuck, Kook."

"Tae," Jungkook steps forward, reaching for his friend's shoulder, "it's not like that. I swear. I'm okay."

Taehyung's eyes close briefly, his jaw working like he's grinding his teeth. When he opens them again, there's a vulnerability there that makes you feel like you're intruding on something intensely private.

"You can't just—" he starts, then stops, inhaling sharply. "You can't disappear and then be on a fucking rooftop, man. Not after—"

He cuts himself off again, shooting another glance your way.

"I'm sorry," Jungkook says quietly, and there's so much weight in those two words that your own chest tightens in response. "I didn't think about it like that. I just needed to get away for a minute, and this was the first place I found."

"Because you needed to get away," Taehyung says flatly, and there's a question buried in there somewhere.

Jungkook hesitates, his eyes darting to you for just a fraction of a second.

"Mia's downstairs. Or was. We ran into her in the hallway."

The change in Taehyung is immediate and alarming. His face drains of color, then flushes with anger so quickly it's like watching a stoplight change.

"Mia's here?" His voice drops to something dangerous and low. "That fucking—where is she? Did she say something to you? What did she do?"

"Nothing. She's gone," Jungkook says quickly, reaching out to grip Taehyung's arm like he's physically restraining him. "She was with some friends in another room. Just bumped into her on the way to the bathroom."

"And said what, exactly?" Taehyung demands, not even trying to hide his hostility now.

"Nothing important," Jungkook insists, though his tight expression suggests otherwise. "Just Mia being Mia. It's fine."

"It's clearly not fine if you're hiding on a rooftop," Taehyung snaps, then immediately looks like he regrets it. His shoulders slump slightly. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean—I was just worried."

"I know," Jungkook says, and there's something so gentle in his tone that you feel like you're witnessing a side of him you've never seen before. "It's okay. I'm okay. Promise."

You shift awkwardly, suddenly very aware that you're intruding on something deeply personal.

"I should, uh, maybe head back downstairs," you offer, already taking a step toward the door.

Two pairs of eyes snap to you, like they'd forgotten you were there.

Jungkook looks caught between relief and something else—regret, maybe?—while Taehyung's expression is blank now.

"No, stay," Jungkook says quickly.

Too quickly.

Then, more casually: "I mean, we were about to head back anyway, right?"

"Right," you agree, though it feels like you're reading from a script you haven't seen before. "Mariah Carey and all that."

"God, they're still on that." Taehyung rolls his eyes, making a visible effort to shake off whatever just happened. "Hobi's been trying to hit the high note in 'Emotions' for like twenty minutes. It's a massacre."

"Can't be worse than your Eminem," you say, hoping to lighten the mood.

It works, sort of. Taehyung's mouth quirks up at one corner.

"Excuse you, I killed that performance."

"Yeah, killed it dead," you agree. "Like, murder. Homicide. Call the rap police."

Jungkook snorts, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "Rap police?"

"You know what I mean," you say, waving a hand dismissively. "Let's go save Mariah from Hobi before someone calls actual law enforcement."

As you all move toward the door, you notice Taehyung hanging back just enough to place a hand on Jungkook's shoulder, squeezing once—firm, grounding.

Jungkook nods, a tiny movement you almost miss, and something passes between them again—silent but significant.

But it's not your story to know. Not yet, anyway.

So you lead the way back inside, pretending you didn't notice the way Taehyung's hand shook as it fell back to his side, or the way Jungkook's smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he followed you through the door.

Some things are better left unasked. At least for now.

Chapter 23: matching threads

Summary:

"You didn’t expect Jungkook’s birthday to end with soft talks about Mayer, thunderstorms and stupid craft projects. And yet, here you are."

Notes:

This chapter made me feel some type of way, and not in the thirst-posting way for once (shocking, I know). There’s a softness to it that snuck up on me. Like I sat down to write what I thought would be a moment of transition, and ended up face-planting into the kind of quiet, delicate intimacy that’s so often overlooked both in fiction and real life. So here I am, feeling dumb and raw and tender over two forks.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Chapter 21, specifically that hand-touch moment—how subtle it was, and how I never explicitly addressed it in the narration because I didn’t want to. That’s the thing with psychologically driven writing: you’re not meant to be spoon-fed emotional meaning. You’re supposed to notice the tiny things. The almosts. The unspoken. The instinctive kindness that isn’t necessarily romantic, but still manages to get under your skin. That’s what that subway touch was. Not Jungkook being in love. Not a declaration. Just him, in his purest, most unaware form—being soft. Gentle. Deeply perceptive in a way that hurts because it’s so unconscious.

And that’s what this whole chapter is circling around. It’s not about a confession. It’s not even about clarity. It’s about conflict—internal, relational, unintentional conflict between people who are shaped by opposite emotional mechanisms.

Jungkook isn’t emotionally open, but he acts open because he’s thoughtful. Reader is emotionally hyperaware, but she reacts closed-off, because she’s scared and guarded. He acts without thinking deeply about it. She thinks deeply and then doesn’t act. They miss each other again and again not because they don’t care, but because their blueprints don’t match. And yet—they try. Or maybe, they accidentally try. And isn’t that so real?

One of them touches without thinking. The other flinches while overthinking. One gives a gift like it’s nothing. The other interprets it like it’s everything. They’re both right. They’re both wrong. That tension? That’s the story.

This chapter doesn’t show love blooming. It shows understanding struggling to sprout in barren soil.

They have so much ahead of them, so many versions of themselves they haven’t grown into yet. This moment is not culmination—it’s foundation. It matters. It matters more than if they’d just fucked again. Because emotional timing? Matters. And this wasn’t the time for sex. It was the time for emotionally loaded shit I can’t name because you haven’t read the chapter yet, but is now haunting me forever.

Read slow. Read deep. Look for the invisible thread. That’s where the truth is.

Chapter Text

Walking back into the karaoke room feels like entering a different dimension—one where rooftop confessions and ex-girlfriend confrontations don't exist.

The noise hits you first, a wall of sound that's almost physical in its intensity. Hobi is mid-Mariah, belting out a note that should probably be classified as a war crime, while Ryan and Seth egg him on with increasingly chaotic dance moves. Tessa's doubled over laughing on the couch next to Diana, both of them recording the spectacle on their phones. Yeji and Irya are engaged in what appears to be a heated debate with Jimin over whether Britney or Christina had the better 90s catalog. Yoongi watches it all from his corner seat, expression caught somewhere between amusement and exhaustion.

"Holy shit, he's alive!" Kevin shouts when Jungkook steps through the doorway. 

The room erupts in cheers and catcalls, like they're welcoming a returning champion rather than someone who disappeared for half an hour.

"Dude, we thought you fell in," David calls out, raising his drink in salute. "World's longest bathroom break."

"Nah, he was definitely sneaking in a Clash Royale marathon," Kevin argues, tossing an empty cup that Jungkook easily dodges. "Probably hiding in a stall like a true gamer."

"You wish your stats were as good as mine," Jungkook fires back, slipping effortlessly into the friendly banter like he wasn't just having some kind of existential crisis on the rooftop. 

It's impressive, really—the way he can flip that switch, become this version of himself that fits perfectly into the chaos around him.

While everyone's attention is focused on Jungkook's triumphant return, Taehyung makes a beeline for Yoongi and Hobi, who've gravitated toward each other in a corner of the room. 

You're not trying to eavesdrop, exactly, but you happen to be standing close enough to hear the urgent whisper:

"He was on the roof."

The effect is immediate. Both Yoongi and Hobi snap their heads toward Taehyung, their expressions shifting so quickly it's almost comical—except there's nothing funny about the naked fear that flashes across their faces.

"It wasn't like that!" Jungkook interrupts, appearing beside them with surprising speed. His voice is a harsh whisper-shout, barely audible over the music but intense enough to make all three of his friends freeze. "I just needed air. Seriously."

"Bro..." Yoongi's voice is low, the single syllable carrying more weight than it should.

"Jungkook, you know how that looks to us," Hobi says, softer but no less serious. 

"I know. I'm sorry," Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, a gesture you're starting to recognize as his nervous tic. "But it wasn't... that. I swear. I just went there to think."

"After seeing her?" Taehyung presses, still tense.

"Yeah," Jungkook admits, "but it wasn't—look, can we not do this right now? It's fine. I'm fine."

There's clearly more to whatever ‘it’ is—something significant enough to make three grown men look like they've seen a ghost. 

But Jungkook's expression makes it clear the discussion is over, at least for now.

You should probably stop pretending to be fascinated by the karaoke song list and move away before they realize you're listening. 

But before you can, Jungkook abruptly changes the subject, his voice rising to a cheerful pitch that sounds slightly forced.

"Alright, alright!" He claps his hands together, turning to face the room. "So... birthday gifts for the birthday boy?"

The tension shatters as the crowd erupts in excited chatter. Seth whoops loudly, and someone (Ryan, you think) starts an off-key rendition of ‘For He's A Jolly Good Fellow’ that quickly derails into chaos. Jungkook's shoulders visibly relax as the attention shifts from whatever just happened to the much safer territory of presents.

One by one, people approach with gifts—some wrapped beautifully, others clearly hastily stuffed into whatever bag was available. 

Taehyung goes first, handing over a sleek black box tied with a simple red ribbon.

"Don't make it weird," he warns as Jungkook takes it.

Inside is what appears to be a ridiculously expensive camera lens. You don't know enough about photography to identify it, but based on the way Jungkook's eyes widen and his mouth forms a perfect ‘o,’ it's something significant.

"Dude," he breathes, lifting it carefully like it might shatter. "This is—holy shit, Tae."

"Yeah, well." Taehyung shrugs, but you catch the pleased smile he tries to hide. "You've been whining about needing a better wide-angle for your urban shots, so."

Jungkook looks genuinely moved, holding the lens like it's made of gold. "I can't believe you remembered."

"I always remember," Taehyung says simply, and the way he says it that makes you think he means more than just camera preferences.

Hobi goes next, presenting a sleek box containing what looks like high-end wireless headphones. 

“For all those late-night production sessions," he explains with a grin. "So we don't have to hear your trash music taste through the walls anymore."

"You love my music, asshole," Jungkook laughs, already testing them out.

"I love peace more," Hobi retorts, but he's beaming as Jungkook gives an enthusiastic thumbs up.

Yoongi's gift is less physical—a card containing what appears to be a voucher for studio time. 

“Booked you sixteen hours at Blueline," he says with characteristic understatement. "For that soundtrack project you mentioned."

Jungkook looks up from the card, something like disbelief crossing his face. "Dude, Blueline is impossible to get into. How did you—"

"I know people," Yoongi shrugs. "Just don't waste it making crap."

"I would never disrespect the temple," Jungkook promises solemnly, pressing the card to his heart with mock reverence.

The gift-giving continues, a parade of thoughtful items that speak to genuine friendship: rare vinyl records, vintage film books, an artisan coffee setup that makes Jungkook actually bounce with excitement. 

It's sweet, really—seeing him surrounded by people who clearly know him well, who've put thought into what he'd like.

And then it hits you.

Fuck.

The Mayer vinyl. Sitting on your dresser at home, still in its brown paper wrapping from that record store in Williamsburg. 

Because okay, first of all—who brings a fragile vinyl record to MOMA and then a karaoke bar? 

You simply had no way of bringing it without raising suspicions. 

And maybe asking Yoongi for help bringing it over would’ve made it look like you cared, so.

The gifts are winding down, and Jungkook is making his rounds, thanking everyone with what seems like genuine gratitude. He looks happier now, more relaxed—whatever happened with Mia and on the rooftop temporarily forgotten in the warmth of celebration.

You're contemplating whether you should make up some excuse about your gift when suddenly he's right there, appearing in your peripheral vision like he materialized out of thin air.

"So," he says, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper as he leans just a bit too close. "Where's my present, Pyx?"

The nickname rolls off his tongue, familiar enough now that you've stopped rolling your eyes every time he uses it. (Mostly.)

"At home," you admit, trying to sound casual and not like someone who completely failed at basic gift logistics.

"Oh?" 

His lips purse, fighting back what's clearly a smirk. 

The glint in his eye is positively dangerous. 

"At home?"

Your cheeks heat up against your will. 

“Not—I don't mean it like that," you stammer, realizing too late how your answer could be interpreted. "I mean I literally left it at the apartment. It wouldn't fit in my bag."

"Big gift, huh?" he murmurs, leaning even closer. His breath brushes your ear, warm and smelling faintly of vanilla. "I'm intrigued."

"It's just a thing," you say lamely. "Nothing special."

"I'd honestly be happy with the other interpretation, for the record," he continues like you haven't spoken, voice dropping to a register that should be illegal in public spaces. 

"In your dreams," you scoff, but it comes out weaker than intended.

"Every night," he confirms, that infuriating smirk spreading across his face now. "Detailed, technicolor dreams. Sometimes you even—"

"Boundaries, Rogue," you cut him off, pressing a finger against his lips. "We're in public."

"That didn't stop you earlier," he whispers, gaze flicking to your lips for the briefest second. "On the roof?"

"That was different."

"Different how?"

"We were alone then."

"We could be alone again," he suggests, voice casual but eyes anything but. "Plenty of dark corners in this building."

"You're incorrigible."

"You like it."

Before you can come up with a suitably cutting response, Ryan's voice cuts through the general noise of the room: "Yo, I'm gonna crash out! It's getting late!"

The announcement triggers a cascade of similar declarations. 

Suddenly people are gathering coats, exchanging final birthday wishes, making plans to meet up later in the week. The energy in the room shifts from celebration to conclusion, that particular lull that comes at the end of a good night.

As people begin filing out, Seth materializes beside you, a confident smile plastered across his face that probably works on most girls but just makes you want to step back a foot or three.

"So," he says, leaning in close enough that you can smell the tequila on his breath, "I was thinking I should get your number. You know, to hang out sometime."

"Uhhh," you stall, searching for a polite rejection. "No thanks."

His smile doesn't falter. If anything, it widens. 

“Come on, we had fun tonight, right? Just give me your number. I promise I'll only use it for emergencies." He winks, like this is some clever line that's going to change your mind.

"I said no thanks," you repeat, firmer this time.

"Don't be like that," he persists, stepping even closer. "Just your number. What's the big deal?"

You're about to tell him exactly what the big deal is when Jungkook appears at your side, his expression suddenly hard.

"Bro," he says, annoyance coloring his tone, "can't you see she ain't interested?"

Seth blinks, looking between you and Jungkook. "I'm just asking for her number, man. No harm in that."

"Except she already said no. Twice." Jungkook's tone is still light, but there's an edge to it now. "So maybe take the hint?"

For a moment, Seth looks like he might argue. Then he sighs, holding up his hands in mock surrender. 

"Fine, whatever. Your loss," he adds, with a final glance your way before merging back into the departing crowd.

"How is that your friend?" you ask once he's safely out of earshot, genuinely baffled that someone like Jungkook would hang out with such a persistent creep.

"He isn't, technically," Jungkook shrugs, watching Seth's retreating back with a slightly disgusted look. "He's Ryan's friend, who sometimes hangs out with Ryan, and so with us too. Definitely not my pick for the squad."

"Thank god for small mercies," you mutter, and he laughs, the tension from the Seth encounter dissipating as quickly as it arrived.

Jungkook steps back from you, that heated moment dissipating as he slips back into social host mode. You watch as he makes his rounds, thanking everyone for coming, accepting final hugs and handshakes. He's good at this—making each person feel individually appreciated, remembered. 

It's a side of him you are staring to recognize more and more often. 

When he reaches Tessa, you notice how his posture softens slightly. He says something that makes her laugh, tucking that perfect auburn hair behind her ear in a gesture that's both shy and flirtatious.

"You need a ride?" he asks her, and you barely manage to overhear. "I can call an Uber."

"No need," she smiles, gesturing toward Diana. "We're sharing a car. Diana lives just a few blocks from me."

"Good," he nods, looking genuinely relieved. "Text when you get home safe?"

It's sweet, the way he's concerned for her safety. Not what you'd expect from the guy who leaves his dirty dishes in the sink for days and thinks changing the toilet paper roll is optional. 

But then again, tonight has been full of surprises when it comes to Jungkook.

"Will do," Tessa promises, then hesitates before leaning in to give him a quick hug. "Happy birthday, Jungkook."

You watch them, something jittery settling in your chest. 

His lucky ass might actually score someone genuinely nice and put-together, who seems to actually like him beyond just his face and body. 

Good for him. 

Good for her, even, if she can't see that she's way out of his league.

Ten minutes later, the room has mostly cleared. Only your strange merged group remains—Yeji and Irya saying their goodbyes to Jimin by the door, while Taehyung, Hobi, Yoongi, Jungkook, and you linger in a loose circle near the couches.

"Subway?" Yoongi asks, addressing both you and Jungkook with his usual economy of words.

Jungkook nods, glancing at his phone. "Still running for another hour."

"I'll walk with you guys to the station," Taehyung offers, but Jungkook shakes his head.

"Nah, you're uptown. That's the opposite direction."

"I don't mind."

"I'm fine, Tae," Jungkook says firmly, and there's a weight to the words that seems to carry a conversation from earlier. "Really."

Taehyung doesn't look convinced, but after a moment of silent communication, he relents. "Text me when you get home."

"Yes, mom."

"I'm serious."

"I know," Jungkook's tone softens. "I will."

The farewells are quick after that—Hobi heading uptown with Taehyung, Jimin walking Yeji and Irya to their car, and the three of you—you, Jungkook, and Yoongi—making your way toward the subway station that will take you back to your shared apartment.

It feels like you've been gone for days rather than hours—like the person who left the apartment this morning for her first day at Barnes & Noble somehow isn't quite the same one heading home now.

But that's a thought for another time, when your head isn't fuzzy with tequila and your feet aren't aching from standing half the night.

For now, you just follow your roommates through the city streets toward the subway station, the quiet between you comfortable in a way it hasn't been before.

The subway car at this hour is practically abandoned—just a few night owls and the occasional service worker scattered across the seats like human tumbleweeds. 

Yoongi claims a seat by the door, immediately slipping his AirPods exactly like someone who's perfected the art of social avoidance. Within seconds, his head is tilted back against the subway wall, eyes closed. 

Either he's fallen asleep that quickly, or he's just really committed to pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist.

Jungkook drops into the seat beside him, legs splayed wide in that uniquely male way that screams ‘my balls need their own zip code.’ You take the spot next to him, trying to claim whatever minimal space is left.

Like seriously? There are literally twenty empty seats.

You nudge your knee pointedly against his. "Do you mind?"

"Wha?" He glances down, genuinely confused.

"The manspreading, bro," you gesture at his legs. "You're taking up enough space for three people."

He grins, completely unashamed. "I need to air out the jewels."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" You swat his arm, genuinely annoyed. "That's exactly the problem with guys like you. Public space isn't designed for your testicle ventilation system."

"Guys like me?" He raises an eyebrow, still smirking but at least looking slightly less smug.

"Yes. Guys who think their comfort is more important than the space of everyone around them." You're on a roll now, the combination of lingering tequila and genuine irritation fueling your feminist rant. "Women are literally conditioned to take up as little space as possible, to cross our legs, to fold ourselves into tiny spaces, while men just spread out like they own the world. It's literally a physical manifestation of patriarchal entitlement."

His smirk fades slightly, replaced by something closer to actual consideration. 

He glances down at his legs, then at the way you've automatically tucked yours together to accommodate his sprawl.

"Shit, I sound like a TikTok right now, don't I?" you mutter.

"No, no," he says, actually shifting his legs together. "You're not wrong. I didn't really think about it that way."

Wait. What?

"You're just saying that because it's your birthday and you think you get a free pass," you say suspiciously.

"No, I actually get it," he says, looking strangely thoughtful. "My mom used to call me out for the same shit. Called it 'man space disease.' Said my dad had it too."

And now you don't know what to do with yourself. 

Because what the actual fuck? 

How are you supposed to maintain righteous irritation when he just... listens? Takes criticism? Brings up his mom in a way that makes him seem like an actual human person with a past and stuff?

Goddammit. Now you can't even properly be mad at him, which somehow makes you even more annoyed. 

"Anyway," you say, desperate to change the subject before you lose all moral high ground. "Happy birthday again or whatever."

"Thanks," he says, and then adds, "for everything. The museum was actually cool. Didn't know you had taste, Phee."

"I'm literally an English major."

"Yeah, but that just means you read boring-ass books from dead white guys."

"That's... not what English degrees are about," you sputter. "And I bet 90% of your film classes are just Scorsese and Tarantino circle jerks."

He laughs, a genuine sound that echoes in the empty subway car. "Fuck, you got me there. Though Tarantino is—"

"If you say 'ahead of his time,' I will push you onto the tracks at the next stop."

"I was gonna say overrated, actually. Everyone loses their mind over Pulp Fiction, but honestly? Mid."

You blink, genuinely surprised. "Okay, that's the most correct opinion you've ever had."

"I have tons of correct opinions. You just never ask me about them."

"Sure, like your opinion that coffee is better than tea?"

"Because it is!"

"That whole statement is a crime, is what it is."

He scoffs, rolls his eyes, and leans back, conversation over because he’s clearly not arguing over this. 

So the subway rattles on, the rhythmic clacking of wheels against track filling the silence. 

Your thoughts drift to earlier tonight—to that moment on the first subway ride when his hand had brushed against yours. 

Just a whisper of contact, his pinky grazing yours on the metal bar.

Why did he do that? What was the deal with that?

The question nags at you, an itch you can't scratch. Not because it matters in any deep way—obviously it doesn't—but because puzzling out Jungkook's behavior is becoming something of a hobby. 

A frustrating, often pointless hobby, but still.

"Hey," you say before you can talk yourself out of it. "Question for you."

He turns toward you, eyebrows raised slightly. "Shoot."

"Earlier, on the subway..." You hesitate, suddenly feeling stupid for bringing it up. "You kind of touched my hand on the bar? What was that about?"

"Huh?" He looks genuinely confused for a moment, then recognition dawns. "Oh! That."

He says it so casually, like it wasn't something worth remembering. Which it isn't. Obviously.

"I just noticed you had a panic attack this morning," he continues, his tone matter-of-fact. "In my room."

"What?" Your voice comes out sharper than intended, surprise making your pulse quicken. "How did you—"

"I passed by and heard your breathing," he explains, shrugging like this is a completely normal thing to say. "But I didn't want to intrude. Since it's something very personal and knowing you..." 

He looks to the side as he gestures vaguely. 

"Well, I don't think you'd have appreciated me barging in, so I just went back to cooking my super pancakes."

You stare at him, dumbfounded. 

Who… Who the fuck is this dude? When did Jungkook develop this thoughtful, considerate side? Is he possessed? Should you be checking for pod people?

"So on the subway," he continues, oblivious to your internal crisis, "I dunno, I felt you had off vibes, and—"

"Again with the vibes?" You can't help but interject.

He laughs, the sound sharp and genuine. "Bro, you had this face like the sad hamster meme and I couldn't take it. That's why I brushed your hand. Reassurance, y'know?"

"The... sad hamster meme?" you repeat, incredulous.

He whips out his phone, types something, then shows you the screen: a round-faced hamster looking depressed as hell, its tiny eyes radiating existential despair.

"That's not—I don't look like that!" you protest.

"You literally did. One hundred percent emotional support hamster energy."

"I will actually murder you in your sleep."

His expression shifts, something vulnerable flickering across his features.

"My mom—" 

He cuts himself off, suddenly looking down at his lap.

But somehow, he decides to continue.

"My mom used to do that for me, so I thought it might help. The hand thing. Not calling you a hamster," he clarifies quickly. "Just a small touch when I was stressed. Sorry if it was weird."

Oh.

"No, no, it wasn't weird," you say quickly. 

The image of a younger Jungkook, being comforted by his mother with small touches, is annoyingly humanizing. 

Couldn't he just stay a two-dimensional asshole? Would make life so much simpler.

"No?" He looks up, searching your face.

"...No." You clear your throat, trying to regain your footing. "It's kind of nice, actually. That you're this attentive." 

You clear your throat then; but it’s like the air is getting stuck in your throat at the sudden sincerity of this conversation.

So you can't help adding: "I guess. Could've apply it to the household, you know? Like maybe notice when the trash needs taking out?"

He snorts at that, the weird moment breaking; and you couldn’t be happier.

“One step at a time, Pyx. One step at a time."

"So your observational skills only work when it comes to me having panic attacks, not when the dishes need doing?" 

"I have selective observation abilities," he admits with a grin. "Like a very specific superpower."

"World's shittiest X-Man," you mutter. "'I'm Emotional Support Man. I can tell when you're sad but can't locate the broom.'"

He laughs, harder this time. "Fuck, that's actually my brand. Can I put that in my Instagram bio?"

"Only if you credit me."

"Deal."

The subway lurches around a corner, and you both sway with the movement. You catch Yoongi cracking one eye open, glancing at you both before apparently deciding you're not interesting enough to stay awake for and closing it again.

"So like, you must be psyched about the studio time from Yoongi," you say, genuinely curious about this part of Jungkook's life that you know almost nothing about.

"Dude, you have no idea. Blueline is like..." he gestures expansively, searching for the right words, "it's basically where half the top-charting albums from last year were produced. Their equipment is insane. Sixteen hours there is worth like, a month in a regular studio."

"And he just... got that for you? Just like that?"

"Yoongi knows people," Jungkook says, with a hint of pride. "He's lowkey connected as fuck in the music scene. Doesn't talk about it much, but he's got production credits on some tracks that went viral last year."

"Wait, seriously? Yoongi? Our Yoongi? The guy who speaks like four words a day?"

"That's his whole strategy," Jungkook whispers dramatically, leaning closer like he's sharing state secrets. "The less he says, the more people think he's some kind of genius."

"Is it working?" you ask, also whispering despite yourself.

He grins. "I mean, he got me sixteen hours at Blueline, so yeah, I'd say it's working pretty well."

"What are you gonna do there?"

"I'm scoring a short film by this director I know. Nothing major, just like a fifteen-minute thing, but I've been wanting to experiment with this sound for a while—like lo-fi beats but with some orchestral elements mixed in. Kind of a vibe Jonny Greenwood meets Nujabes thing, if that makes sense?"

It doesn't, really, but the way his eyes light up as he talks about it is surprisingly engaging. 

Cute.

Because that’s Jungkook when he talks about something he cares deeply about. He just… gestures as he explains, hands moving expressively, and his entire demeanor changes.

"That's actually really cool," you admit before you can stop yourself.

"Yeah?" He looks genuinely pleased by your approval, which is weird. Since when does he care what you think? "You should come by sometime. Check it out."

"I didn't know you were into all that," you say, genuinely curious now. "The music stuff, I mean. I knew about the film major, but..."

"I'm a man of many talents, Phee," he says with an exaggerated wink that makes you roll your eyes.

"Okay, and we're back to you being insufferable. That was a nice five-minute break."

He laughs, not at all offended. "Can't let you get too comfortable. Gotta keep you on your toes."

The subway announcement system announces your stop is next. 

Yoongi's eyes open immediately, like he has some kind of sixth sense for exactly when to wake up. He removes his AirPods, tucking them into his pocket as he stands.

"You coming?" he asks, directing the question to both of you but somehow making it sound like he couldn't care less either way.

"Yeah, yeah," Jungkook says, already standing. 

He offers you a hand up, the gesture casual but unexpected.

You hesitate for just a second before taking it, letting him pull you to your feet. His hand is warm, the calluses from guitar playing rough against your palm. And then he drops it as soon as you're standing, no lingering, no loaded moment. Just a simple courtesy.

But it’s the normal, everyday nature of the gesture that throws you. 

Like this is just what you do now—casual, friendly touches that mean nothing beyond basic human interaction.

The subway slows as it approaches your stop, and you grab the pole to steady yourself, pushing this strange new dynamic to the back of your mind to examine later. 

When you're alone. 

And preferably sober.

You've never heard Griffin meow that loudly outside of dinner time, and even then, it's not this fucking dramatic.

The elevator doors have barely slid open when the unholy feline screeching hits your ears—a sound that could only be described as a cat being simultaneously vacuumed and baptized against its will.

"What the fuck?" you mutter, already picking up your pace toward the apartment door.

Jungkook's reaction is instantaneous. One second he's trudging beside you, still talking about some obscure music producer, and the next he's bolting down the hallway like someone lit his ass on fire.

"Griffin!" His voice carries genuine panic as he fumbles with his keys, hands suddenly clumsy with urgency.

You follow right behind him, though your motivations are decidedly less noble. 

The building has a strict no-pets policy, and the last thing you need is to get evicted because Jungkook's furry contraband is having a meltdown at 1 AM.

"Jesus Christ, let me do it," you hiss, shoving at his hands. "You're gonna wake up the whole floor."

"I got it, I got it," he insists, still struggling with the lock as Griffin continues his banshee impression on the other side of the door.

"Clearly you don't got it," you argue, trying to wrestle the keys from his grip. "You're making it worse!"

"Can you just—will you just—give me a second—"

You're both so busy fighting over the keys that neither of you notices Yoongi until he's physically shoving both of you aside with surprisingly pointy elbows.

"Move," he grunts, extracting his own key and long since given up on expecting basic competence from either of you.

The lock clicks open, and the door swings wide just in time for an orange blur to come rocketing out into the hallway. 

Griffin shoots between your legs like he's auditioning for some Usain Bolt competition (but make it feline), though to no avail, because Jungkook's reflexes are impressively fast. 

Three quick strides and he's scooping the cat up, cradling him against his chest.

"Hey, hey, buddy, what's wrong?" he murmurs, immediately checking the cat for injuries. "You okay? What happened?"

Griffin, now safely ensconced in Jungkook's arms, has miraculously stopped his caterwauling and is instead purring loud enough to vibrate the hallway. 

The little shit.

"Oh my god, Jungkook, tell your cat to shut the fuck up," you hiss, glancing nervously toward neighboring doors. "You know the neighbors are gonna snitch if he keeps that up."

"No they won't," he says with the confidence of someone who's never faced consequences for anything in his life. "They all love me."

You blink. "You know all the neighbors?"

He just shrugs, already carrying Griffin back into the apartment like the entire dramatic episode never happened.

Yoongi, having completed his sole contribution to the crisis, is already disappearing into his bedroom, door clicking shut behind him with a finality that says ‘do not disturb under penalty of death.’

You stand awkwardly in the entryway, fidgeting with your keys, suddenly hyperaware that you're alone with Jungkook for the first time since... whatever that moment on the rooftop was.

He snorts, still cradling Griffin like a baby. 

"So where's my gift?"

Of course. Of course he couldn't just let it go. Had to make things weird and awkward because god forbid Jungkook let any interaction proceed without maximum discomfort.

You grunt noncommittally and trudge to your bedroom, pointedly closing the door behind you. 

There, sitting innocently on your dresser, is the crumpled paper bag from the flea market. 

Inside is the stupid vinyl record you'd impulsively bought for fifteen bucks because it had "John Mayer" on it and you vaguely remembered Jungkook had a vinyl wall with what looked like Mayer albums.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. 

Now, you're not so sure.

But it's not like you have any alternatives, and you did promise him a gift, so...

You grab the bag and head back out, careful not to make eye contact. You have no idea why you're suddenly nervous about this. It's just a vinyl. Probably one he already has. No big deal either way.

"Here," you say, thrusting the paper bag toward him.

He quirks an eyebrow, clearly puzzled by the plainness of your offering. 

What was he expecting? A fucking gift-wrapped Ferrari?

He sets Griffin down carefully on the armchair before taking the bag from you. The cat immediately curls into a perfect circle, clearly untroubled by whatever had sent him into hysterics five minutes ago.

Jungkook pulls the vinyl from the bag with deliberate slowness, like he's trying to extend the suspense. A small smile forms on his lips when he sees it's a record, but then—

His face contorts into an expression you can't begin to interpret. 

It's like watching someone cycle through all five stages of grief in under five seconds, ending on some emotion that looks like he might either laugh hysterically or have a stroke.

Your stomach drops. Fuck. You knew it. He already has it. Or worse, he hates this album. 

Great going, genius. You had one job.

"Nix," he starts, his voice strangled.

"It's fine," you interject quickly, already looking away and biting your lip. "I mean, if you already—"

"Phoenix."

Something in the way he says your nickname—your full nickname, not the shortened version—makes you reluctantly look back at him.

He's not... mad. Or disgusted. Or disappointed. 

If anything, he looks... stunned

His eyes are practically twinkling, like you just handed him the fucking Holy Grail instead of a dusty old record.

"Where the fuck..." he starts, then shakes his head slightly. "Where the fuck did you get this, Nix?"

You blink, caught off guard by his reaction.

"I—a girl has her secrets," you mumble, because no way in hell are you admitting you found it in a five-dollar bin at a flea market.

"This is Inside Wants Out," he says, staring at the record like it might vanish if he blinks.

"Yup. That's what it says," you confirm, pointing unnecessarily at the album title clearly printed on the cover.

Like, yeah. Thanks for confirming he can read. At least he’s not that stupid. 

"It's John Mayer, right...? I thought... I mean since your whole vinyl wall is mostly—"

"This is Inside Wants Out," he repeats, more emphatically this time, like you're not getting the significance.

You nod slowly. "Yeah... I heard you the first time."

"Do you know how hard it is to get this shit, Nix?" His eyes are still wide with disbelief. "This is a collector's item."

Oh.

Oh wow.

Oh fuck.

You didn't mean to give him something with actual significance. You were just trying to not completely fail at basic gift-giving. But now he's looking at you like you just casually handed him a winning lottery ticket, and you have no idea how to respond.

"I mean... I knew you'd appreciate it," you lie smoothly, like you totally knew what you were doing. "You seem like the type to be into the rare stuff."

His eyes narrow slightly, like he's not entirely buying your sudden expertise in John Mayer collectibles, but he's too excited about the record to push it.

"It was his first EP," he explains, still handling the vinyl like it might explode. "Self-released in '99, before he got signed. There were only like a thousand copies ever pressed, and they never reissued it on vinyl."

"Oh," you say eloquently. "Cool."

"Cool?" 

He laughs, the sound both incredulous and delighted. 

"Nix, this thing goes for like three hundred dollars on eBay if you can even find one. How did you—" He cuts himself off, shaking his head again. "You know what, never mind. I don't even want to know. Just... thank you."

Three hundred dollars

You almost choke. The grimy old man at the flea market had sold it to you for fifteen bucks, and even then, you'd thought you were overpaying.

Holy shit. You accidentally gave Jungkook the perfect gift.

You're still processing this bizarre turn of events when he does something even more unexpected. He steps forward and hugs you—a quick, one-armed embrace that's over almost before it begins, but still manages to short-circuit your brain for a solid three seconds.

"Seriously," he says, already stepping back. "This is... thank you."

"I—yeah, of course," you manage, still off-balance from the sudden contact. "Happy birthday or whatever."

He grins, already carefully examining the record sleeve for any damage. 

"Or whatever," he echoes, but there's no mockery in it. 

Just warmth.

A warmth that makes something in your chest twist in a way you don't want to examine too closely.

Jungkook flips the vinyl over in his hands, tracing the track listing with his finger. 

"I started collecting his stuff in high school," he says, voice softer than usual. "Everyone gives him shit, you know? Like he's this basic white dude music or whatever."

"Isn't he, though?" You can't help asking, even as you drift closer to the couch instead of retreating to your room like you'd planned.

He looks up at you, expression caught between offense and amusement. "That's what everyone thinks. But his guitar work? Seriously underrated. The guy's technically insane."

You perch on the arm of the couch, watching as he continues examining the record. 

“So you're into him for the... technical aspects?"

"Partly." Jungkook shrugs, a small smile playing at his lips. "But honestly? His music just hits sometimes, you know? Like when you're driving at night with the windows down, or when you just need to chill and not think for a while."

"Didn't take you for the introspective type."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Phee," he says, but it's not a challenge or a flirtation. Just a simple statement of fact.

"Like what?"

He looks surprised you asked, like he expected you to roll your eyes and walk away. 

After a moment's hesitation, he gestures toward his bedroom. 

“I've got every vinyl he's released. Started with Continuum when I was fifteen..." He trails off, then shakes his head slightly. "Anyway, been collecting ever since."

You’re not sure whether he wants you to ask, or doesn’t want to overshare. So to play it safe, you don’t dig.

Instead, you find yourself saying, "My dad's obsessed with him."

Now it's your turn to be surprised—by your own admission. Because you hadn't planned to share that.

Jungkook's eyebrows lift. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," you confirm, suddenly interested in a loose thread on your sleeve. "Used to play his albums constantly during gardening weekends. My mom would pretend to hate it, but I'd catch her humming along when she thought no one was listening."

"Gardening weekends?"

"Mandatory family bonding," you explain, the memory both distant and vivid. "Every other Saturday in spring and summer. Dad would handle the heavy stuff, Mom did the flowers, and I was on weed duty."

"Weed duty," Jungkook repeats, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Like, you grew pot with your parents? Damn, Nix, I had you all wrong."

You roll your eyes, but you're fighting a smile too. "Garden weeds, dumbass. The actual nuisance plants."

"So what? You'd all be out there pulling weeds while John Mayer serenaded you from a boombox?"

"Something like that," you say, the mental image so accurate it catches you off guard. "How'd you know about the boombox?"

"Dads and boomboxes go together like peanut butter and jelly," he says with authority. "It's basic dad culture."

"Fair point." You hesitate, then add, "He had this super old one. Battery-operated, because the garden was too far from the house for an extension cord. The sound quality was garbage, but he refused to upgrade. Said it had 'character.'"

Jungkook smiles at that, a genuine one that reaches his eyes. "Sounds like my kind of guy."

"You'd hate each other," you say automatically, but then consider it. "Actually, no. You'd probably bond over guitar shit and expensive coffee, and it would be absolutely insufferable for everyone else."

"I'm great with parents," he protests. "They love me."

"That's because they don't have to live with you."

He gasps in offense. "What? Come on, living with me is the best experience ever.”

"So now ‘best experience ever’ is you eating my leftovers and folding your briefs on the entrance table?”

"And mind-blowing sex," he adds, because of course he does. "Don't forget that part."

"And we're done here," you announce, standing up from the couch arm. 

"Wait," he says, surprising you again. "What was your favorite song? From those gardening days, I mean."

You pause, considering whether to answer. It feels oddly personal, sharing music taste with Jungkook. More intimate somehow than the physical stuff you've done together.

But he's looking at you with genuine curiosity, still cradling the vinyl you gave him like it's something precious, and you find yourself responding before you can overthink it.

"'Slow Dancing in a Burning Room,'" you admit, the memory rising unbidden. "Not off that album, obviously, but it was on Continuum."

Really? I wouldn't have pegged you for that one."

"Well, I wasn't exactly vibing with the lyrics at age ten," you say, defensive without knowing why. "It just... reminds me of my mom."

"Your mom was into songs about dysfunctional relationships?"

"No, dumbass." 

You take a breath, weighing whether to elaborate. 

Fuck it. 

“There was this one time, we were gardening, and it started raining—like, suddenly pouring. Dad ran inside with the boombox, but Mom just... stayed out there. And I did too."

Jungkook's watching you intently now, the vinyl temporarily forgotten in his hands.

"That song was playing right before the rain started," you continue, eyes fixed on that loose thread again. "And when Dad got inside, he must have put the song on again inside the house, because we could hear it through the open windows. Mom just... started dancing. In the rain. And she pulled me in, and we were spinning around like idiots, getting completely soaked, while Dad watched from the porch and pretended to be embarrassed by us."

You risk a glance at Jungkook and find him smiling softly.

"What?" you demand.

"Nothing," he says, but his smile doesn't fade. "Just... that's a really good memory. I like that it wasn't some deep angsty reason. Just your mom being cool."

"She wasn't always," you say before you can stop yourself. "Cool, I mean. But she had her moments."

A comfortable silence falls between you, the kind you didn't think was possible with Jungkook. He's still looking at you with that soft expression, and you find yourself continuing without really meaning to.

“Anyway,” you say, desperate to lighten the sudden heaviness between you. “I like sad songs and thunderstorms. Shocking revelation about the English major, I know.”

His mouth curves into a smile, but it’s gentler than his usual smirk. 

“I know you like thunderstorms.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” he nods, setting the vinyl aside with careful hands. “Remember the first time we hooked up in this apartment? There was a storm outside.”

“How do you remember that?”

He shrugs, casual, unbothered.

Like it doesn’t cost him anything at all to reveal he keeps details in mind or cares

“You were curled up in that bean bag by the window, watching the rain like it was telling you secrets. All broody and intense. Very on-brand.”

“I wasn’t broody,” you protest automatically.

“You were staring at a lightning storm. The only way you could’ve been broodier is if you were wearing fingerless gloves and listening to The Cure.”

You throw a decorative pillow at his head, which he catches easily. “Fuck off, I don’t even own fingerless gloves.”

“Yet,” he adds with a grin. “There’s still time, though. Hot Topic’s having a sale.”

You flip him off, but you’re smiling despite yourself.

“I just like storms, okay? They’re… honest.”

“Honest?” He raises an eyebrow, looking genuinely curious.

You struggle to articulate something you’ve never had to put into words before. 

“Yeah, like… they don’t pretend to be anything other than what they are. They’re loud and chaotic and messy, and they don’t apologize for it.”

“Huh,” he says, tilting his head slightly. “Never thought about it like that.”

“Plus,” you add, tone deliberately lighter, “they smell good.”

“Yeah I guess they do,” he agrees, and for some reason, this tiny point of connection feels significant.

“You smell like rain,” you say, the words slipping out before your brain can catch up with your mouth.

“Huh?” he looks at you, confusion replacing his easy smile.

“I mean,” you backtrack, suddenly feeling stupid, “you’re always saying I smell like vanilla and stuff. And you really like vanilla, right? With your vanilla extract flask or whatever. Well, you smell like rain. At least to me. I really like rain. That’s all.”

There’s a moment of silence, just long enough for you to start mentally calculating how quickly you could fake your own death and flee the country.

“I smell like rain,” he repeats, expression unreadable.

“It’s not a big deal,” you say quickly. “Just an observation. Like how Yoongi smells like coffee and disappointment.”

He laughs at that, breaking the weird tension. “That’s… oddly accurate.”

“I’m very accurate,” you say with mock seriousness. “My superpower.”

And… why exactly are you quoting him? That’s exactly what he said in the subway.

And you said it without thinking. 

“Well,” he says, not catching onto that or at least not making it about that; leaning back into the couch cushions, “for what it’s worth, I’m glad I don’t smell like disappointment. Rain is definitely the better option.”

“Don’t get too excited. I didn’t say you smell good,” you lie, because of course he smells good, the bastard. “Just like rain.”

“Uh-huh.” His smile is knowing, infuriating. “You literally just said you really like rain, though.”

“I changed my mind. Rain is overrated.”

“Sounds fake, but okay.”

Griffin chooses that moment to stretch dramatically on the armchair, reminding you both of his presence. The cat yawns widely, showing tiny needle teeth, before resettling into an even tighter ball.

“Anyway,” you say, seizing the opportunity to change the subject, “your cat is still a menace, even if he has good timing.”

“The best timing,” Jungkook agrees, reaching over to scratch behind Griffin’s ears. “Though I still don’t know what set him off earlier.”

“Maybe he sensed a disturbance in the force.”

“Maybe he just missed me,” Jungkook suggests, and the sad thing is, he’s probably right. Griffin is ridiculously attached to him, like some kind of orange, furry shadow.

“Cats don’t miss people,” you argue, just to be contrary. “They’re cold-blooded killers who tolerate humans because we operate can openers.”

“Griffin misses me,” he insists, stroking the cat’s back. “Don’t you, buddy? Tell Phoenix how much you missed your dad.”

Griffin blinks slowly in response, which Jungkook apparently interprets as agreement. 

“See? He says he was devastated by my absence.”

“He says he’s plotting to kill us both in our sleep,” you counter.

“Nah, he only does that to people who don’t bring him treats. Speaking of which…” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small packet of cat treats, shaking a few onto his palm.

Griffin is suddenly wide awake, lunging for the offering with surprising agility for a creature that was seemingly comatose two seconds ago.

“You carry cat treats in your pocket?” you ask, incredulous. “To a club? To a karaoke bar?”

“Always be prepared,” he says solemnly, as if quoting some ancient cat-owner wisdom. “Besides, Griffin can sense when I don’t have them.”

“Your relationship with this cat is genuinely concerning.”

“Says the person who talks to him when she thinks no one’s listening.” He smirks at your surprised expression. “Yeah, I’ve heard you. ‘Who’s a little murder machine? Is it you? Yes it is.’”

You feel your cheeks warm. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You baby-talk my cat, Phoenix. Just admit it.”

“I do not baby-talk—”

Your phone chimes with a text notification, cutting off what would have undoubtedly been a brilliant denial. 

You move towards the entryway, where you'd left your purse on the table, and reach to look for your phone, when suddenly—

Oh

The DIY bracelets. Right.

You'd left them at the shop at first for that contribution project Ash had talked about, but then... something had pinched at you when Jungkook mentioned having one similar as a kid. 

How it reminded him of his mom.

And now that you're talking about mourning a mom that you still have alive, because the mom from your memories often differs from the one who exists now... it feels like the right moment. Like maybe these stupid friendship bracelets aren't just arts and crafts bullshit but something that might actually mean something.

Fuck, that's corny. You're being corny right now. This is what happens when you let your guard down for five seconds around Jungkook—suddenly you're having feelings and shit. Gross.

But your fingers are already closing around the bracelets. 

You're impulsive like that. Always have been. Jump first, think later. It's gotten you into trouble more times than you can count, but occasionally—very occasionally—it works out.

You slip them into your fist, hiding them behind your back as you walk slowly toward Jungkook. He's still standing there, watching you with that half-curious, half-amused expression that makes you want to simultaneously punch him and—

"Hmm? What's up, Phoenix?" he asks, eyebrows lifting slightly when he notices your hands hidden behind your back.

"Nothing," you say, too quickly.

His eyes narrow, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. 

“What's that?" He takes a step closer, trying to peek around you. "You hiding something?"

"No," you lie, taking a step back. "Mind your business."

"You're being weird," he says, his smirk widening into a full-on grin. "What is it? A love letter? Secret diary? Embarrassing photos of you in middle school with braces?"

"I never had braces," you retort, still backing up as he advances. "And it's nothing, so back off."

"If it's nothing, why are you hiding it?" He lunges suddenly, trying to grab at your hands, but you twist away, nearly knocking over a lamp in the process.

"Jungkook, I swear to god—"

"Come on, just show me!" He's laughing now, the asshole, clearly enjoying your discomfort. "What's so secret that you can't—"

He makes another grab, and this time his fingers catch your wrist. You try to pull away, but he's stronger than you, the jerk, and before you can stop him, he's pried your fingers open.

The bracelets fall into his palm.

His laughter cuts off abruptly. 

He stares down at them, then back up at you, his expression shifting to something you can't quite read. 

His eyes go all soft and wide, like some anime character or something, and it makes your forsaken insides twist.

"How?" he asks, voice quieter than before. "I thought we left these at the shop."

You look to the side, feeling heat crawl up your neck. 

This is so fucking embarrassing

It's just bracelets

Stupid, childish bracelets that shouldn't mean anything.

"When I came back to get my phone, I..." You trail off, not sure how to explain without sounding like a complete sap. "I saw them and I just..."

You shut up, because what are you supposed to say? That you couldn't stand the thought of leaving them behind? That something about his face when he talked about his mom's bracelet made you want to give him this small piece of today?

He seems to understand anyway, nodding slowly as he looks down at the bracelets again. 

"Thanks," he says, and it's so genuine it makes you uncomfortable.

He holds them for a moment longer, then asks, "Can I?" gesturing toward your wrist.

You extend your arm automatically, then realize what he's doing as he fumbles with the clasp of the Phoenix bracelet.

"No, let me wear the Rogue one," you say quickly.

He pauses, brows furrowing. "But I am Rogue."

"Well, you said you didn't want to wear a bracelet calling you 'Rogue,'" you point out, "so... might as well wear the Rogue one myself and you wear the Phoenix one."

A slow smile spreads across his face, like what you've just said makes perfect sense instead of being the most backward logic ever. 

And with a soft, delicate breath he says:

“Deal."

His fingers brush against your skin as he fastens the Rogue bracelet around your wrist. You try not to react, but your pulse quickens traitorously beneath his fingertips.

When he's done, you take the Phoenix bracelet from him, gesturing for his wrist. He extends it without hesitation, and you're struck by how much larger his hand is than yours, how warm his skin feels beneath your fingers as you fumble with the clasp.

"There," you say, pulling away quickly once it's secured. "Now we're even."

"Even," he echoes, looking down at the bracelet on his wrist, the fiery beads catching the light. "I guess we are."

You stare at the bracelet on your wrist for a few seconds, the beads catching the dim light of your apartment living room. Your eyes flicker up to his wrist—he's doing the same thing, turning his arm slightly to inspect his newly acquired accessory like he's never seen a fucking bracelet before. 

His eyes catch yours, and you can't help asking, "You gonna wear it?"

He rotates his wrist, watching how the beads interact with the light. 

“Maybe." The corner of his mouth twitches. "I don't know, does it fit my vibe?"

Is he serious right now? 

You deadpan him, staring straight into his eyes without blinking.

He can't help but snort, his shoulders shaking slightly. "That's a no, then?"

"Whatever," you say, waving your hand dismissively. "You don't need to wear it. It's a silly thing anyway." 

And it is. Just a stupid arts and crafts project you made while trying to keep him busy for his birthday party. 

No big deal if he tosses it in a drawer and forgets about it. Literally could not care less.

"Nah, it's cool," he says, examining it again. "Kind of tacky, but in a fun way."

He looks back at you when you stare in silence too long. 

"What about you?"

"Huh?" You blink, caught off-guard.

"Are you gonna wear yours?" He gestures toward your wrist with his chin.

"I don't know." You twist the beads around your wrist, acting like you're still deciding. "It's not like I want people to know I have friendship bracelet gay shit with you."

He snorts, rolling his eyes. "Right, I had forgotten what I'm gonna say when people ask what 'PHOENIX' means."

Your eyes flicker back to him, side-eyeing him suspiciously. "What would you say?"

"Maybe I should tell them it's from my roommate," he says, tapping his chin in mock thoughtfulness. "Who rose from the ashes and all that. Like some kind of angry, book-obsessed firebird."

"Don't you dare talk about me like that!" You immediately shove at his shoulder, scowling. "Oh my god."

He sidesteps your attack, continuing, "—into this majestic creature who's deep down probably not plotting to murder me in my sleep—"

"I swear to god," you lunge at him again, "if you say that cringy shit about me to anyone—"

"—and who secretly loves making friendship bracelets—"

"I will end you," you threaten, trying to grab his arm while he deftly avoids your attempts. The audacity of this asshole. "I will literally smother you with a pillow."

"—and wearing them too!" He's full-on laughing now, dodging around the coffee table. "The bracelet represents how we've evolved from mortal enemies to... slightly less mortal enemies."

"That's it." You grab a throw pillow from the couch and hurl it at his head. "You're dead to me."

He catches the pillow easily, still grinning like an idiot. "Aw, come on, Nix. Embrace your phoenix identity. Like the bird, you too have emerged from—"

"If you say 'ashes' one more time," you threaten, grabbing another pillow, "I will personally ensure you become some."

"Violent," he comments, raising his eyebrows. "And after I accepted your little craft project."

"It's not a—" 

You start to protest, then stop yourself. 

What the hell would you call it?

"Whatever. It's just a bracelet."

"A bracelet of tolerance," he suggests, his eyes dancing with amusement. "At best."

"Exactly," you say, oddly annoyed that he's stolen your line. "A bracelet of 'you're still annoying as fuck but occasionally tolerable.'"

"A bracelet of 'we haven't killed each other yet, which is honestly impressive,'" he offers.

"A bracelet of 'the apartment lease says I can't legally push you off the balcony,'" you suggest.

He laughs, running a hand through his hair. "Cool. I'll take it."

"Don't make it weird," you mutter, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the direction this conversation has taken. Why is he being almost... nice? "It's just a stupid bracelet I accidentally made while you were trying to avoid talking about your Instagram."

"Right," he nods, tapping the beads against the table. "Just like how you 'accidentally' bought me a super rare vinyl."

"Shut up."

"Never," he says, shifting Griffin to make room on the armchair. "So, this means you're warming up to me, huh? All it took was some karaoke and a rooftop heart-to-heart."

"I already told you we'll see," you remind him, rolling your eyes. "Don't push it, Rogue."

"Fine, fine," he holds up his hands in surrender. "Just saying, the evidence is mounting."

"What evidence?"

He starts counting off on his fingers. "One, you made me a bracelet. Two, you bought me a vinyl. Three, you didn't ditch me at my own birthday thing. Four, you haven't tried to poison my coffee in at least three days."

"That you know of," you counter, but you can feel the corner of your mouth twitching traitorously.

"See? You're not even denying it," he says, pointing at you triumphantly. "Face it, Phee. You tolerate me."

"The bare minimum bar for human interaction. Congratulations."

Griffin chooses that moment to let out a pathetically dramatic meow, clearly offended that he's no longer the center of attention.

"Someone's jealous," Jungkook immediately turns to scratch his cat under the chin. "Don't worry, G, you'll always be my number one roommate."

You roll your eyes. "Great, I've been demoted behind the cat."

"He doesn't leave wet teabags in the sink," Jungkook points out.

"He literally shits in a box in our bathroom."

"Yeah, but at least he covers it up."

"I'm not having this argument," you declare, standing up from the couch. It's late, you're tired, and this whole day has been weird enough already. "I'm going to bed."

"Night, Nix," he says, voice softer than his usual teasing tone.

"Night, Rogue," you reply, hesitating for just a moment too long before adding, "Happy birthday. Again."

He smiles—that same genuine smile from before. "Thanks. For everything."

"Don't get used to it," you warn, already backing toward your bedroom. "Tomorrow I go back to hating your guts."

"Looking forward to it," he calls after you, and you can hear the grin in his voice.

You close your bedroom door a bit harder than necessary, but you're smiling as you do it. And if your fingers brush against the beads on your wrist as you change into your pajamas, well, that's nobody's business but yours.

It's just a bracelet. Whatever.

Chapter 24: mirrors

Summary:

"When you're dealing with Jason, who talks about literature like it matters and opens car doors, the friendship bracelet feels like something from a different version of you. One that's messier, pettier, still half-formed."

Notes:

a/n: Okay. Before you all start side-eyeing Jason for breathing, let's set something straight—you're biased. And you're totally valid for that.

This is a Jungkook x Reader fanfic. Obviously, we're all rooting for the emotionally constipated trauma boy who talks with his eyes and stores all his feelings behind gym towels and granola bars. I get it. I'm rooting for him too.

But Jason is not here to steal your man. He's here to teach. To nudge. To trigger reflection. He's not necessarily here to stay—but he is important. For Y/N. For her growth. For us to see what it looks like when she's treated decently on surface level, so we can question what actually feels good, and what merely feels safe.

Jason, like every man I write, is not perfect. (You'd think I'd spare at least one of them but alas, I'm God here and a mean one.) Y/N is looking at him through rose-colored glasses—yes, that's intentional. But this is not your cue to dissect him like a frog and declare "something about him rubs me wrong, Kiki please kill him." Let's calm down, Hannibal. Not every man who isn't Jungkook is a villain in this story.

And speaking of bias—let's talk about Y/N. I want to gently remind you all: this story is told through her perspective. That means the narration is not omniscient. It's filtered through a lens of impulsivity, self-sabotage, and defense mechanisms. She's in her 20s and emotionally immature in ways that mirror her environment, her upbringing, her trauma. So yes—you'll read lines where she praises Jason and drags Jungkook through the mud like he owes her money. That's part of her architecture. Not mine. I don't write self-insert. I write character. And Y/N is doing what a lot of us do—projecting simplicity onto what's new and shiny, and demonizing what's familiar and complicated.

Because when you're operating from trauma, you fixate on the flaws that allow you to detach. On the safe narrative. Jungkook is socks on the couch. Jungkook is dumb. Jungkook is the roommate who yells too loudly when he's playing CoD. Not Jungkook who didn't burst into his bedroom during her panic attack because he knew she wouldn't want to be seen. Not Jungkook who's messy, perhaps not attentive when it comes to mugs in the sink—but attentive in the things that matter.

So yes. Y/N is unfair toward Jungkook in this chapter. And Jungkook is unfair toward her, too. And they will keep on being unfair and you'll want to scream and you'll say 'they're stupid' and yes they are. That's the point. That's humanity. That's how we cope—through flawed logic and messy defenses. It's ugly and real and mine.

Tessa. Let's go there. I've said it before, but I'll reiterate it loud enough for the back rows: Tessa is not the villain. She's not here to be the hot girl we all collectively throw into a fictional toilet. She's kind. She's respectful. She shares common interests with Jungkook. She's doing her thing. And that's exactly why she throws Y/N off. Because it would be easier to hate her if she were rude. If she were smug. But she's not. And that's the dissonance. That's the discomfort. Tessa would probably be a friend if the circumstances were different. But she's not. She's interested in Jungkook. And Y/N is sleeping with Jungkook. So while jealousy isn't the correct word, there's still that... gut feeling. That primal "mine" that you don't have to be in love to feel. Especially when someone's the only person who's ever made you feel wanted and safe in your body. (She did say he knows where the clit is. Let's not forget that.)

And Jungkook—again, for all his confusion and emotional hoarding—does not make fun of her for liking things. He forces her to confront her wants, to allow herself to enjoy things without guilt. Encourages them. Creates space for them. And she doesn't consciously realize that. But subconsciously? It's why she's defensive. Why she's scared of losing it.

Last thing I'll touch on: Yoongi. Because I love the way he shows up here—not loud, not meddling, but present. I made a point of explaining his schedule (beyond just plot convenience lmao) because I think it's important to portray him realistically. He's a producer. He's constantly working. And yet, when he is home, he doesn't overstep. He doesn't offer gossip. He doesn't reveal Jungkook's mess. He respects Jungkook's boundaries. He gives Y/N a branch. A little nudge. And if you know Yoongi, you know that's massive. That's someone who sees pain but respects the privacy of it. That's how love shows up in quiet friendships.

So yeah. That's Chapter 24. Not a love story. Not yet. It's a story about mirrors. About coping. About not knowing what you want until someone else tries to hand it to you, and you flinch.

Enjoy Jason while he's here. He's the first of some.

Now go read. Come back messy.

Love,

Kiki (who writes enemies-to-lovers and then gets mad when they don't like each other yet) (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Chapter Text

Turns out seventy-something grandmothers also read vampire and werewolf books. 

Sunday shifts at Barnes & Noble are usually dead—just you, the books, and the occasional lost tourist looking for the bathroom. 

But today feels off-kilter, like everything's been shifted two inches to the left. 

You keep catching yourself touching the bracelet on your wrist, the beads spelling "ROGUE" pressed against your skin, a constant reminder of last night's decisions.

You still haven't taken it off. Haven't even considered it, really, which is weird because it's just a stupid tacky bracelet. Wearing it shouldn't mean anything. It's not like you and Jungkook are actually friends.

Are you?

…No. Definitely not. Just roommates who occasionally don't want to murder each other. Roommates who sometimes have really good sex. Roommates who made matching bracelets in a moment of insanity.

Fuck, that does sound like friendship.

"Excuse me, dear?"

The voice pulls you from your spiral, and you realize you've been staring at the same page of inventory for at least two minutes. 

The woman standing at your register is tiny, maybe five feet tall on a good day, with perfectly coiffed silver hair and pearl earrings that are definitely not fake.

"Sorry," you mutter, quickly scanning the five hardcover books she's placed on the counter. The entire Twilight saga, special edition with gold-edged pages. "Did you find everything okay?"

"Oh yes, thank you," she says, pulling out a wallet that looks expensive in that understated way rich people prefer. "My book club is doing a throwback month. We're revisiting our guilty pleasures."

You nod absently, focusing on bagging the books without making eye contact. Just get through this transaction and then you can go back to questioning your life choices in peace.

"So," she says as you process her credit card, "Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

Your head snaps up, certain you've misheard.

"I'm sorry?"

"The eternal question," she says with a wink. "Which supernatural suitor would you choose? The brooding vampire or the hot-headed werewolf?"

Is this happening? Is this actually happening right now? 

You stare at her, completely dumbfounded. 

She's got to be at least seventy, wearing a cashmere cardigan and sensible heels, asking you about fictional teen heart-throbs like you're at a middle school sleepover.

You open your mouth to give some non-committal answer, but then you remember Dora from the laundry room. How quickly you'd dismissed her as a cranky old lady, only to discover she was just a widow feeling lonely. 

Maybe this woman is the same—just looking for a moment of connection in her day.

"I'm honestly Team Alice," you say, surprising yourself with the genuine smile that forms. "She was probably a better choice than either of those two drama queens."

The woman's face lights up with delight. 

"Oh! Bold choice. I like that." She leans in conspiratorially, lowering her voice. "I'm Team Edward, myself. I guess I like old men after all."

A startled laugh escapes before you can stop it. "He is like a hundred years old in a teenager's body. Very problematic."

"Precisely why it's a guilty pleasure, my dear," she says, accepting the bag you hand her. "The best kind of fiction lets us enjoy things we'd find appalling in real life."

There's something weirdly profound about that statement coming from a pearl-wearing grandmother buying vampire romance novels on a Sunday afternoon.

"Enjoy your book club," you say, meaning it.

"I will. And you enjoy whatever team you're on," she replies with a wink, nodding toward your wrist where the friendship bracelet sits.

Before you can respond, she's walking away, her heels clicking rhythmically against the floor. 

You stare after her, feeling like you've just had some kind of surreal encounter with a Twilight-loving fairy godmother.

The rest of your shift passes in a blur of restocking shelves and helping lost customers find the bathroom. 

By the time you clock out, the Twilight grandma feels like a fever dream—something your brain made up to break the monotony. But the conversation stays with you, an unexpected bright spot in an otherwise tedious day.

You're still thinking about it when you unlock the apartment door three hours later.

"Hello?" you call out, dropping your keys on the entry table with a clatter.

Nothing.

The apartment is empty, the silence confirming what you already knew—you've got the place to yourself. 

No Yoongi with his silent judgment. No Griffin with his judgmental silence. And no Jungkook with his... 

Whatever.

You check your phone. 

An hour and a half until you're supposed to meet Jason for coffee. 

Plenty of time to shower away the retail grime and maybe even put on something that doesn't scream ‘I've been folding books for eight hours.’

As if sensing your thoughts, your phone pings with a text.

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧: 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 4? 𝚆𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚙? 

You bite back a smile. 

He's offering to pick you up? So he remembers where he dropped you off that one time after class? 

That's... actually kind of sweet. A guy who actually pays attention to details.

It's refreshing after dealing with Jungkook, who once put an empty milk carton back in the fridge and claimed he ‘didn't notice’ it was empty. Like someone just happened to drink all the milk and then carefully put the empty container back exactly where they found it. 

Idiot.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜! 𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚝 𝟺 ❤️

You don’t know why you’re using proper caps now, or why you add the heart emoji. It’s all without thinking, and you stare at it for a solid five seconds wondering if it's too much. 

But it's already sent, and honestly, it's just an emoji. Not like you're proposing marriage.

As you scroll back through your messages, another unread text catches your eye. From last night. When your phone pinged during the bracelet exchange with Jungkook.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚑𝚎𝚢! 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝! 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞! 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚋 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎? 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎! 🥰

Oh.

Oh right.

Tessa from last night. The literal goddess with perfect hair who wanted your advice about dating Jungkook. The girl you told to go for it because, why not? He could do a lot worse than someone genuinely nice and put-together. 

You stare at the text for a long moment, trying to figure out what to say to that. Because it’s weird. It feels weird.

No, the weird feeling is probably just that you're not sure you want to get involved in Jungkook's love life. It's one thing to suggest Tessa make a move, but playing matchmaker? Giving ongoing advice? That's crossing into territory that feels uncomfortably personal.

Plus, you're kind of sleeping with him. Would be weird to help another girl date your fuck buddy. Not because you care who else he sleeps with—you don't. Obviously. But it would just be... awkward.

And what would you even say? ‘Hey Tessa, here's how to seduce my roommate: play hard to get, argue with him constantly, then jump his bones when he least expects it. Works for me!’

Yeah, no.

You set your phone down without replying. You'll deal with Tessa later. After your coffee with Jason. After you've had a shower and maybe some time to think about how to navigate this bizarre social situation you've somehow landed in.

As you head to the bathroom, you catch your reflection in the hallway mirror. You look tired, a little rumpled from your shift, but not terrible. Your eyes drift down to the colorful beads circling your wrist. ROGUE, spelled out in childish letter beads. 

You could take it off. Probably should, honestly. It's not like you're twelve, wearing friendship bracelets with your BFF.

But your fingers don't move toward the clasp. 

Instead, you just turn away from the mirror and continue toward the bathroom.

It's just a bracelet. It doesn't mean anything.

You'll take it off tomorrow.

Funny how a look can make you remember what it’s like to feel beautiful.

Jason’s car is clean. Not serial killer clean, but neat in a way that feels vaguely impressive for a guy who’s in grad school and not living off a diet of ramen and emotional repression. 

When you slide into the passenger seat, your dress rides up just a little, and you catch him glance—brief, polite, but definitely there. 

You don’t blame him. You look good.

Hair curled. Lip gloss strawberry-slick. Earrings you almost forgot you owned. The black dress is simple but it fits just right, hugging the curve of your waist like it was designed to hold you together when you forget how. 

You’d like to pretend you don’t care what Jason thinks, but you shaved above the knee and sprayed perfume behind your knees, so.

He smiles when he sees you, soft and almost surprised. “Hey. Wow.”

‘Wow’. Not ‘you look nice’, not ‘I like your dress’. 

Just wow, like he wasn’t prepared for this version of you.

Like he’s seeing you, not the outfit.

You kind of love that.

“Hey yourself.” 

You buckle in and feel the nerves pull tighter in your chest. You’re not used to being nervous anymore. You’ve fucked your way through worse situations than this. 

But this isn’t sex. This is coffee

Somehow infinitely more exposing.

The drive is short, music low—Jason puts on some indie playlist that’s equal parts folky and hipster, and you catch lyrics about moons and bones and the way someone smells in spring. He doesn’t talk much on the way, but it’s not awkward. Just quiet. Thoughtful. There’s a kind of comfort in that, in not having to fill every second with chatter.

When you arrive, you wonder if you’ve accidentally agreed to a second location with a man who might bankrupt you. 

Because this coffee shop? It is sleek and minimalist, all marble tables and matte-black finishes, the kind of place where the baristas wear aprons and pour water like they’re performing surgery.

And holy shit, it smells amazing. Not in the burnt hazelnut way you’re used to from campus cafés, but rich, deep—vanilla and cinnamon and fresh grounds that probably cost more per ounce than your soul.

Jason holds the door open for you. Doesn’t make a big deal of it. Just does it like it’s second nature. And okay, fine, you notice that. You’re not made of stone.

You order the strawberry latte on a whim, mostly because the flavor name makes you smile—‘blushberry blossom’ (c’mon that’s such a cute name)—and partly because the idea of something pink and ridiculous feels like rebellion in a place this serious. Jason, for his part, gets a cortado.

You sit by the window, where light slants in gold and sharp across the marble, catching on the rim of your cup and your collarbone. 

Here, the world outside feels very far away—no Griffin knocking shit over, no roommates stomping around the apartment like emotional hurricanes. Just soft jazz and clinking spoons and the man across from you who keeps doing this thing where he leans in slightly when you talk, like he doesn’t want to miss anything you say.

“You really think that about Bishop?” he asks, eyebrows up.

You nod. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not that I think she hated women, but there’s definitely an internalized thing going on in the way she writes about domesticity. Like she’s performing detachment because that’s the only way to survive inside it.”

Jason exhales, a quiet sound of admiration. “That’s really smart.”

You shrug, suddenly a little too warm. 

Compliments on your appearance are easy to swat away. 

This kind—the you’re actually intelligent and I’m listening to you kind—sticks in your chest like static.

Your latte arrives, delicate as hell. Pale pink with foamy swirls and a single edible flower floating on top. Instagram bait. You take a sip, expecting something syrupy and fake, but it’s…

Huh.

You pause. Purse your lips. The taste is sweet, but not in a candy way. More like… too smooth. Like it’s missing bitterness. But it’s fine. Just—off, somehow. 

Not bad, just… not what you were expecting. 

You take another sip.

Still weird. Still fine.

You say nothing. Just keep talking, keep leaning into the conversation, because Jason’s eyes are lit up and he’s asking you questions like he actually cares about the answers.

You talk about poetry, about undergrad nonsense, about that one professor who only teaches in metaphors and might actually be a tree in disguise. Jason laughs at your jokes and adds his own and it’s easy. Like, actually easy. Like your brain isn’t doing somersaults trying to predict the next emotional landmine.

Halfway through the drink, he glances down at your wrist and tilts his head.

“Is that… a friendship bracelet?”

You glance at it before you remember it’s there. 

Your hand had been resting on the table, fingers curled lightly around your cup, the ROGUE beads facing up like they want to be seen.

Shit.

You forgot you were still wearing it. In fact, haven’t you been wearing it all day? All shift. Through your shower. Through putting on perfume. Through curling your hair. Through walking out the door knowing someone might see it.

You pull your wrist back instinctively. Not fast enough to be defensive, just enough to make it clear you hadn’t meant for it to be a conversation piece.

Jason doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t tease. Just raises his eyebrows, curious but not unkind.

“Oh,” you say, pretending it’s nothing. “Yeah. It’s—stupid. A joke, kind of.”

Jason’s brow furrows. “No, it’s cool. I mean, it’s cute. Just wasn’t expecting that from you.”

You laugh, a little too fast. “Yeah, me neither.”

“It’s not a bad look,” he offers. “Very… I don’t know. Vintage, maybe?”

He says it in the tone of someone trying to offer reassurance, not judgment. 

And that’s the thing, because he hasn’t said anything bad about it. 

It’s you

You feel it. That quiet little itch of self-consciousness blooming under your skin. 

And suddenly you are twelve years old, and someone just caught you doodling hearts in your notebook. 

You feel… silly.

Not because it’s a dumb bracelet—it is—but because it’s on your wrist in this place, with this person. 

With Jason, who talks about literature like it matters, who picked you up on time, who smells like sandalwood and books, who looks at you like he’s trying to memorize your mouth.

The bracelet feels like something from a different version of you. One that’s messier, pettier, still half-formed. The version that knocks Jungkook’s protein powder off the counter just to watch him flinch. The one who keeps secrets in locked journals under the bed.

You press your wrist lightly against your thigh under the table, hiding it without really hiding it. Jason doesn’t press. He just sips his coffee and asks what you think about Rainer Maria Rilke.

You tell him. You talk about how Letters to a Young Poet changed the way you understood loneliness. About how writing doesn’t have to be for anyone else. About how maybe there’s something holy about solitude when it’s chosen.

He listens like the world’s on mute.

And maybe, just maybe, you start to believe the things you’re saying. Maybe you start to feel like someone worth listening to.

“You should read this essay by Gilbert and Gubar,” he says, pulling out his phone to make a note. “I’ll send you the link. It’s about the madwoman in the attic as a feminist symbol. Might give you some interesting perspectives.”

“That would be great,” you say, soft smile tugging at your lips. 

It’s been ages since you’ve had a conversation like this—someone who not only gets your academic interests but actively engages with them.

“You’re really smart, you know that?” he says suddenly, setting down his mug. “Like, genuinely insightful. You should consider applying to graduate programs.”

The compliment catches you off guard, warmth spreading through your chest. 

“I’ve thought about it,” you admit. “But it’s competitive. And expensive.”

“True,” he nods. “But there are fellowships. And based on what I’ve heard from you in class and now, I think you’d have a shot.”

You take another sip of your too-sweet latte to hide how pleased you are. It’s not that you need validation, but… okay, maybe you do, a little. Who doesn’t?

“I could help you look into programs, if you want,” he offers. “No pressure, just… I know the landscape pretty well.”

“That would be amazing, actually,” you say, meaning it.

By the time you’ve both finished your drinks, the afternoon light has shifted. You’ve been talking for over two hours, and it’s only when you check your phone that you realize how much time has passed.

“I should probably get you home,” Jason says, checking his watch reluctantly. “I’ve got a stack of papers to grade before tomorrow.”

“Right,” you nod, equally reluctant to end the afternoon. “Teaching assistant duties call.”

“Unfortunately,” he sighs, then brightens. “But I’d love to do this again. Maybe dinner next time?”

“I’d like that,” you say, and you really would.

After 10 minutes in his car, you think he’s turning toward your apartment. 

You’re wrong.

Jason’s blinker flicks left instead of right, merging smoothly into traffic like this isn’t a diversion. Like it’s part of the plan.

You glance over, raising an eyebrow. “Um. Home’s the other way.”

He smiles, eyes still on the road. “I know. I wanted to show you something first.”

Your chest flutters—nothing dramatic, just a soft little hum, like the opening notes of a song you don’t recognize but already like. You sink back into the seat and let yourself be curious.

The drive winds west, toward the river, buildings falling away into stretches of old brick warehouses and glass condo towers that look like they belong in an entirely different version of your life. One where you probably own a milk frother and know what saffron tastes like.

Jason doesn’t say much, just tunes the radio to some local jazz station and hums softly along. The golden hour light cuts sideways through the windshield, warm and syrupy, painting the world in blush and amber.

He pulls over near a quiet overlook, where the road widens into a shoulder and the guardrail curls just enough to frame the view. The Hudson stretches wide in front of you, molasses-slow and glittering under a sky that’s all pinks and orange melt, the kind of sunset you always say you’ll watch more often but never do.

He doesn’t make it a thing. Just kills the engine, unbuckles his seatbelt, and nods toward the passenger side.

“Come on.”

You follow, caught in that half-stunned, half-swoony state that makes your steps feel floaty. 

The air outside is cooler than you expect, touched with that river dampness that curls around your ankles and lifts the hair on your arms. The water looks like glass, rippling only when the wind brushes across it.

“Oh my god,” you breathe, stepping closer to the edge. 

The view is stupid. Like, actually unfair. The sky’s a cliché in real time—cotton candy pink and tangerine and just the faintest smear of lavender toward the edges. 

You pull out your phone without thinking, framing the scene like muscle memory.

One shot.

Then another.

Then one with your shoulder in the corner, just to prove you were here.

Jason stands a little off to the side, hands in the pockets of his coat. 

He’s not watching the view—he’s watching you look at the view, which somehow makes it feel even more unreal.

“I didn’t want the date to end in a parking lot,” he says quietly.

You smile down at your phone, thumbs already moving. You pick the best one, swipe through a filter, drop the saturation just a little. Caption: this sky is a lie and I’m letting it.

You post without thinking. It’s just a sunset. It’s just a moment. But it feels worth remembering.

A notification pops up a few seconds later. Like.

Then another.

Then—

35mmghost liked your photo.

You blink.

Snort.

Okay. What?

You don’t say anything, just stare at the name for a beat longer than necessary. 

35mmghost

That is… not what you expected Jason’s Instagram handle to be. If it is Jason’s. Which would be hilarious. And weirdly endearing.

You flick a glance toward him. He’s smiling to you, with his phone between his fingers. Like you just caught him.

He just pockets it and gazes out at the river like he’s trying to memorize it. 

You file it away. Not important. Probably. Just… cute.

Jason, apparently, has a secret artsy side. 

And a dramatic username.

Ghost, really?

You like it. Quietly. Silently. The same way he let you have the view.

He doesn’t know you noticed. Doesn’t try to impress you with it.

And for once, you don’t overanalyze. You just let yourself stand there, cheeks a little pink from the wind and the compliment still buzzing somewhere behind your ribs, watching the sky slide into dusk like it’s not even trying to be beautiful.

Like it just is.

When he finally drives you home, you find yourself feeling lighter than you have in weeks. 

There’s something refreshingly straightforward about Jason. 

No games, no cryptic comments, no emotional whiplash. 

Just a smart, mature guy who seems genuinely interested in you.

When he pulls up to your building, he gets out to open your door again—which still feels like something from a movie rather than real life.

“Thanks for today,” you say, standing awkwardly on the sidewalk. 

Is this the part where you kiss? You’re not sure what the protocol is here.

Jason solves the dilemma with a warm smile and a slight step back—respecting your space in that careful way that somehow makes him even more attractive.

"Thank you for making my Sunday exponentially better," he says.

It's such a nerdy, earnest thing to say that you can't help but smile. 

"Exponentially, huh?"

"At least by a factor of ten," he confirms with a grin. "I'll text you about dinner?"

"Sounds good."

You watch him drive away, a pleasant buzz of anticipation tingling in your chest about seeing him again. 

For once, your love life seems straightforward and uncomplicated. 

A mature guy who's exactly what he appears to be. What a fucking novelty.

When you finally make it upstairs, the apartment is still quiet. Still empty. 

You kick your shoes off at the door and shrug off your coat, fingers catching on the thin leather strap of your bag. You leave it on the couch and walk straight to your room, not bothering to turn on any lights. 

There’s enough spill from the windows to see by—blue-gray and soft, the city humming faint in the background like a lullaby that never really ends.

You catch your reflection in the mirror again. 

Dress still hugging you right, lip gloss faded but not completely gone. Your cheeks are flushed in that way that feels natural, earned. 

You look good. You feel good.

But your gaze drifts. Down to your wrist.

There it is. Bright and stupid and clunky against the sleek black of your dress. 

ROGUE.

It looks even more ridiculous now than it did in the café. Like a tacky souvenir trying to pass in a room full of doctoral candidates.

You sigh.

It’s not that you’re ashamed of it, exactly. 

Just… aware of it. 

In a way you weren’t before. 

Aware of what it signals—about you, about the you that exists in here, in this apartment. 

The one who fights over fridge space and burns frozen pizza and still hides snacks under the bed like you’re prepping for an apocalypse Jungkook might eat through.

Jason didn’t make you feel bad about it. Not at all. 

But there was that little jolt of being seen in a way you didn’t mean to be. Like wearing pajamas to class by mistake.

You run your thumb over the beads. They’re slightly warm from your skin, the elastic stretched just enough to make a faint indent on your wrist. 

It’s silly. 

So fucking silly. 

You shouldn’t have even worn it out. It doesn’t belong in cafés with marble tables and edible flowers. Doesn’t belong with guys who talk about Rilke and open your door and make you feel like your brain is the most interesting thing about you.

It belongs here. Inside these walls. In the shared chaos of mismatched mugs and territorial coffee wars and Griffin sleeping on your face. 

It belongs in the version of you that forgets to do laundry and screams at reality TV and gets off with your roommate like it’s just another way to burn through stress.

Maybe it’s time to choose. Or at least… edit.

You slide the bracelet off. Slowly. Carefully. Set it down on your dresser, next to the copy of The Bell Jar you’ve been meaning to reread and a half-burnt candle that smells like peaches and something faintly smoky.

You’ll still wear it sometimes. Just not… when you go out with Jason. Not when you want to feel sleek and composed and like maybe, just maybe, you’re building something a little more deliberate than chaos. 

Maybe that’s okay.

You leave it where it is.

And you don’t stop to think whether Jungkook is even wearing it at all.

“You’re alive?”

The words slip out before you can stop them, a bit too loud for a quiet apartment and a bit too sarcastic for someone who just walked through the front door. 

But it’s Yoongi. You’re pretty sure he came out of the womb with a glare and noise-cancelling headphones.

He gives you a flat look, keys jingling as he kicks the door shut behind him. 

No hello, no how was your day, just a flick of his eyes from your face to your bare legs stretched across the coffee table, one foot propped up like you’re posing for a toenail polish ad no one asked for.

“Didn’t expect you home,” you add, waving your freshly painted big toe in his direction. “Figured you were off ghosting the apartment all weekend like usual.”

He drops his messenger bag by the door with a soft thud, shrugs like the weight of being perceived is too much.

“Didn’t have that much work today,” he says, deadpan, already halfway to the kitchen. “Been overworking all week. Even I get tired of being productive.”

You blink. “Wait—you work on Sundays?”

“I work always,” he calls back, grabbing a mug from the cabinet like it personally offended him. “What’s your point?”

You roll your eyes, adjusting your foot on the arm of the couch so the polish doesn’t smudge. 

“My point is, maybe stop pretending you’re not a person and do something degenerate for once. Watch trash TV. Go outside.”

“I went outside,” he mutters, reaching for the coffee grounds. “Regret it.”

“You’re making coffee now?” You glance at the clock. “You’ll be awake all night.”

“Mm,” Yoongi says, which is less a response and more a vibe. “Not like I’ve slept properly in a week anyway.”

“That sounds healthy,” you sing, flicking the cap back onto the nail polish bottle. 

You don’t know when this stopped being weird—talking to him like this. 

It’s not friendship, exactly, but it’s not not that either. 

Comfortable-ish. Low maintenance. The kind of dynamic that doesn’t need checking in.

Griffin trots out from wherever he was napping, tail flicking with that ‘where the fuck is my dinner, peasants’ energy.

You lean over and scratch behind his ear. “Still no sign of your boy?”.

Yoongi shrugs —his primary form of communication—then cups his hands around his mouth and yells, “JUNGKOOK!”

The silence that follows is answer enough.

“Nah, he’s not home,” Yoongi confirms unnecessarily.

You roll your eyes, screwing the cap back on your nail polish. “Thanks for the thorough investigation.”

You go back to focusing on your second foot, tongue poking out slightly as you try not to smear the top coat. 

Then—

“Hey,” he says, casual but not. “By the way…”

You pause, brush hovering mid-air.

“…I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

Your stomach drops

Those words never precede anything good. 

Is he kicking you out? Did you do something wrong? Is the rent going up? Did he find your secret stash of chocolate-covered pretzels hidden behind the rice?

“Okay…” you say cautiously, sitting up straighter. “What’s up?”

Yoongi takes a sip of his coffee, still not meeting your eyes. The silence stretches just long enough to make your anxiety spike before he finally speaks.

“It’s about Jungkook.”

Oh.

Oh no.

Did Jungkook complain about you? Is Yoongi about to give you some weird roommate intervention? Does he know about the… arrangement you and Jungkook have? 

God, that would be mortifying.

“What about him?” you ask, aiming for casual but landing somewhere closer to defensive.

Yoongi presses his lips together like he’s trying to decide if speaking is worth the effort. Spoiler: it usually isn’t.

Then—quiet, low: 

“Back at the karaoke place… you met Mia, right?”

You freeze mid-swipe, the brush hovering just above your toenail. There’s a split second where your brain tries to play dumb. Pretend you didn’t. Pretend you forgot. But your body answers before your mouth does—shoulders tensing, breath pulling tight behind your ribs.

“Yeah,” you say slowly. “I remember.”

And you do. Perfectly. Chanel and Louboutins and weaponized perfume. Voice like saccharine venom and teeth too white to be trustworthy. 

You remember the grip on your arm. The way Jungkook looked—vacant, off, like someone unplugged him at the base of the spine.

Yoongi nods once, eyes fixed on his coffee like it might offer divine clarity.

“I need to know what happened.” 

His voice isn’t demanding, not exactly. Just… steady. Firm in a way you’ve never heard from him before. 

“What did she say to him?”

You shift on the couch, pulling your knees up to make room for Griffin, who hops beside you with zero regard for the wet polish on your toes. 

You don’t answer right away. Not because you’re trying to avoid it—it’s just that you’re not sure how to answer.

Yoongi doesn’t push. Just waits.

You glance toward the kitchen, then back at him. 

“I didn’t hear everything,” you start. “She was already talking to him when I found them. I didn’t even know who she was at first, just thought—some random girl, y’know?”

He nods once. Still waiting.

“She was dressed like she had three bodyguards waiting outside,” you add, because you can’t help yourself. “Total Upper East Side vibes. Like she was slumming it for the night.”

That earns a dry little huff from Yoongi. Almost a laugh. Almost.

Your fingers twitch against your thigh. 

“She knew it was his birthday,” you say, softer now. “Said it all sweet but—like. Fake sweet, you know? Like she was performing nice but wanted him to feel like shit for not inviting her.”

Yoongi’s jaw ticks as he listens. He’s still holding the coffee mug, but you can tell he’s not really drinking anymore. Just holding it like a prop.

“She said…” Your voice trails off. You swallow. “She said, ‘Try not to have too much fun without me.’ And something about his dad. I didn’t catch all of it. But her tone—it was like… she wanted to rattle him.”

Now Yoongi finally looks at you. Not full on, not probing, but enough to catch your face in his periphery. 

“She mentioned his dad?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “Just—like, she knew it’d hit a nerve. She said something about ‘not replacing her’ or whatever. I don’t know the full context, but... whatever it was, it fucked with him. He looked—”

You pause. 

The image flashes in your head: Jungkook standing in the hallway, motionless. His face locked down, shoulders tight. Like something inside him had short-circuited.

“He looked small,” you say quietly. “Scared. Not like himself.”

Yoongi takes that in. Doesn’t react right away. He just huffs out a breath through his nose and leans back against the edge of the kitchen counter.

Another pause.

Then: “She’s good at that.”

He says it flatly. No inflection. No explanation.

You tilt your head. “You know her?”

“Not much. But I know exactly what he looked like after her.”

You’re quiet, sensing the line. The invisible perimeter Yoongi keeps between what’s his to share and what isn’t.

“I’m not asking for his secrets,” you say, meaning it.

“Good,” he replies instantly. “Because they’re not mine to give.”

That makes you like him more. Irritatingly so.

You don’t push. But your gaze stays on him, curious.

Yoongi shrugs, finally setting his mug down on the counter. “I’ve only known him for a year and a half, so I wasn’t around back then. Not for most of it. But she left damage.”

You stay quiet.

“She knows his pressure points. Knows when to act like she’s joking and when to twist the knife.” He rubs the back of his neck like he hates even saying this out loud. “Jungkook’s got a... hard time with boundaries. Especially when it comes to people he used to love.”

Used to. Interesting phrasing.

Your lips part slightly, but Yoongi’s already waving a hand like he regrets going this far. “Anyway. Not my drama. Just wanted to know what she said. He didn’t tell us much.”

Us?”

Yoongi shrugs again, folding his arms. “Me, Taehyung, Hobi. The ones that showed up when she blew everything up.”

You blink. “Blew everything up?”

He gives you a look. Not mean. Not angry. Just—measured. Like he’s deciding how much to trust you.

“I said too much already,” he mutters. “But yeah. That hallway thing? That wasn’t nothing. I just needed to hear it from someone who saw it up close.”

You nod slowly. “Makes sense.”

Silence again. Not uncomfortable exactly. But heavy.

Yoongi runs a hand through his hair and glances down at Griffin, who’s now making biscuits into a throw pillow like he pays rent. 

“He didn’t tell you anything, huh?”

“No.” The word comes out before you can stop it. Then, quieter: “He just said he needed air.”

Yoongi exhales. “Figures.”

You want to ask more. About Mia. About Jungkook. About what the hell happened that’s got Yoongi this protective over someone he’s known for less than two years. But something in his expression makes you hold your tongue.

So you just nod, brushing your fingers lightly over Griffin’s back.

After a beat, you say, “Thanks for telling me. Even if it was just a little.”

Yoongi lifts his coffee mug in a half-toast. “Don’t read into it. You were there. I needed intel. That’s all.”

You smirk. “Sure.”

But you both know that’s not all.

Not even close.

"Wait," you call out just as Yoongi's about to disappear completely. 

You're not sure why you feel compelled to say this—it's not like you owe Tessa anything—but after everything you've just learned about Mia, it feels important somehow.

Yoongi pauses, hand on his doorknob, eyebrows raised in silent question.

"That girl at the birthday party," you say, the words tumbling out before you can overthink them. "Tessa? I think she genuinely likes him. Like, in a normal way."

You don't know why you're telling him this. 

Maybe because after hearing about Mia's toxicity, the idea of someone simple and sweet being interested in Jungkook feels like information worth sharing. 

Yoongi tilts his head slightly. "The ginger one? Sat next to him?"

"Yeah," you nod, surprised he noticed. "She asked for my advice, actually. About him. She wants to get coffee with me to talk about it."

"Huh." Yoongi leans against his doorframe, considering this. "She seemed... nice."

The way he says ‘nice’ makes it sound like he's describing an alien species he's only read about in textbooks.

"She is nice," you confirm. "Like, genuinely nice. Soft. Girly.  Probably doesn't have any emotional baggage or toxic exes lurking around corners."

You're babbling now, but you can't seem to stop. 

Because you feel guilty

Because you told this nice beautiful girl to go for an emotionally stunted dude who apparently has way too much baggage. 

Because maybe Jungkook is not even ready for any of this.

"I told her to go for it. With Jungkook, I mean. Before I knew about... all this Mia stuff."

Yoongi's expression shifts subtly—a slight narrowing of the eyes. "You're playing matchmaker now?"

There's no judgment in his voice, just curiosity, but you feel defensive anyway.

"Not matchmaking," you clarify. "Just... I don't know. Being supportive? She asked, I answered. It's not a big deal."

"Right," Yoongi says, in a tone that suggests he thinks it might actually be a big deal. "And how does Jungkook feel about Tessa?"

You shrug, suddenly realizing you have no idea. "I don't know. They're in some classes together I think. He hasn't mentioned her."

"Jungkook doesn't mention a lot of things," Yoongi points out.

"True." You fiddle with the cap of your nail polish, avoiding his gaze. "I just thought... she’s nice. And so pretty. I just thought… maybe it could do him some good—before I even knew about this, I mean.”

Yoongi makes a noncommittal sound. "Maybe."

"You don't think so?"

He shrugs. "It's not about what I think. It's about whether Jungkook's ready for someone new. Especially someone... nice."

The way he says it makes you wonder if ‘nice’ is a liability in Jungkook's world. 

If after someone like Mia, ‘nice’ feels too foreign, too simple.

"Well, I already told her to go for it," you say, feeling suddenly uncertain. "Should I... un-tell her?"

Yoongi actually smiles at that—a small, fleeting thing, but definitely a smile. "No. Let it play out. Who knows? Maybe you're right. Maybe nice is exactly what he needs."

He doesn't sound convinced, but he doesn't sound dismissive either.

"Okay," you say, relieved. "I just... wanted you to know. Since we're apparently on Team Jungkook now."

Yoongi snorts. "I've always been on Team Jungkook. You're the new recruit."

"I didn't exactly volunteer," you point out.

"And yet here you are," he says, "worrying about his love life."

You open your mouth to protest, then close it again. 

He's not wrong.

"Anyway," Yoongi continues, "thanks for telling me about Tessa. And about what happened with Mia."

You nod, feeling like you've passed some kind of test you didn't know you were taking.

Yoongi gives you one last unreadable look before finally retreating into his room, the door clicking shut behind him.

You sit there for a moment, processing the entire bizarre conversation. 

In the span of fifteen minutes, you've gone from painting your toenails in peaceful solitude to being drafted into some kind of Protect Jungkook squad with Yoongi, of all people.

Life in Apartment 6B just keeps getting weirder.

Thirty-seven minutes later, you're sprawled on your bed, hair still damp from the shower, staring at Tessa's unanswered text like it's a bomb you need to defuse.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚑𝚎𝚢! 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢? 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚋 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎? 🙂

You’re second-guessing everything after that conversation with Yoongi. 

Should you really be encouraging Tessa to pursue Jungkook when you know he's still dealing with Mia-shaped emotional shrapnel? Is it fair to either of them?

But then again, who are you to play gatekeeper to Jungkook's love life? Maybe Tessa is exactly what he needs—someone sweet and uncomplicated. Someone who doesn't have the baggage of a toxic ex or whatever the hell happened with his father.

You groan and flop back against your pillows. 

Why do you even care

It's not like you and Jungkook are anything to each other. You're just roommates who occasionally fuck. 

You’re barely even… friends.

The word acquires a weird shape in your mind.

You pick up your phone again, determined to respond to Tessa without overthinking it.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚎𝚢𝚊! 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚢. 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚝 2 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎. 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝?

You hit send before you can change your mind. 

It's just coffee. It's not like you're arranging a marriage.

Truth is, next week’s already packed—Yeji’s gallery prep, that shift you picked up for someone who ‘owes you one’ but never actually pays up, and whatever Jungkook’s been muttering about needing help with but refusing to ask. 

It’s easier to just skip ahead. Two weeks. Feels safer. Less chance of Tessa becoming something to manage short-term.

Her response comes almost immediately.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚊𝚑𝚑𝚑 𝚢𝚊𝚢𝚢𝚢 🥰! 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚂𝚢𝚛𝚞𝚙 𝚘𝚗 𝙴. 𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝚂𝚝. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚛, 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞!

You know Syrup—it's one of those Instagram-bait cafés with latte art and avocado toast that costs more than your hourly wage. Not exactly your usual haunt, but it's not too far from campus.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚢𝚛𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜! 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚝 2 💕

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝! 𝚒’𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚞𝚙! 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜!!!

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚:𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠? 🤗

You stare at the message, a knot forming in your stomach. 

Because you don't ‘get’ Jungkook. Not really. 

You didn't know about his dad, or the full extent of the Mia situation, or why he disappeared to the rooftop that night. 

You know he likes John Mayer and makes good coffee and his favorite position is cowgirl.

You know he smells like rain and his hands are always warm and he secretly carries cat treats around.

But those are just details, not understanding.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒 ’𝚐𝚎𝚝’ 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚎 𝚛 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚒𝚏 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗 :) 

That feels safer. 

Better to lower her expectations now than have her think you're some Jungkook whisperer with all the answers.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚊𝚑, 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢! 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠? 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚢, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕!!

Intimidated by Jungkook? 

The idea is almost laughable. 

How could you be intimidated by someone who once spent twenty minutes trying to coax Griffin out from under the couch with a piece of string cheese?

But then you remember how other people see him—the sharp jawline, the tattoos, the way he carries himself like he’s not actually dumb as hell. 

You can see how someone like Tessa might find him intimidating.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚙𝚏𝚏𝚏𝚏𝚏

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚍𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚡, 𝚜𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚖

You hesitate, then add:

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠

It feels important to add that caveat, even if you're not sure why. 

Maybe because of what Yoongi told you. 

Maybe because you've seen glimpses of that complication yourself.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚑𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚑𝚊 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠!!

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗, 𝚋𝚞𝚛 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝? 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎, 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚞𝚢

You frown at the screen. There's something about her response that doesn't sit right with you. Like she's romanticizing the very things that make Jungkook difficult—the walls he puts up, the emotional distance, the complications Yoongi hinted at.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝… 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚘 𝚒𝚗 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚌𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚔? 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚊 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚘𝚕

You hit send, then immediately regret your tone. That came off way harsher than you meant it to. You're about to type a follow-up when Tessa's reply appears.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚘𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 🙈 𝚒'𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚛𝚗

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚒'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝... 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗-𝚠𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖𝚜? 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚋𝚘𝚢 😣

Oh. That's actually... kind of sweet. Seems like Jungkook really does have a thing for Korean cinema.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘 𝚗𝚘 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝! 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎... 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚢𝚔?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖. 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘!

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚠/ 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎! 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚕 🙈

Your heart softens a little. There's something vulnerable about the way she just shared that personal detail, then immediately apologized for it.

It reminds you of how you sometimes overshare when you're nervous, then backpedal frantically.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚣𝚎! 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚍. 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚘 :(

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 💕 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚘. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖! 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚒 𝚍𝚘? 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚜 😔

That actually makes a lot of sense. You can see why she'd be drawn to Jungkook if they share this interest. 

And you know from experience how rare it is to find someone who genuinely cares about the things you're passionate about.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚘𝚗! 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚜𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 🙄

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?? 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚔𝚊𝚛-𝚠𝚊𝚒 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚕

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚒 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖? 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 🥺

You can't help but smile a little. She’s clearly excited she is to have found someone who shares her interests. You remember feeling that way with Jason today, when he actually engaged with your thoughts on literature instead of just nodding along.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎! 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚝𝚠 𝚒 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛. 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚛𝚗

Tessa takes a moment to reply, the ellipses blinking thoughtfully.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚘𝚑 :( 𝚒 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚘 💕

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚎!! 𝚒'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚑𝚞𝚜𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚑𝚊 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛? 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏?

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜 𝚞𝚙!! 𝚒'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕 🤞

Okay, that feels reasonable. She's acknowledging your concern without getting defensive, and clarifying her own expectations. 

Maybe she's more level-headed than you initially gave her credit for.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍!! 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 <3

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚜𝚘 𝚒'𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝 😴

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚌 𝚞 𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚢𝚛𝚞𝚙! :)

Time to bow out before you accidentally become her relationship coach.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕!! 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐!! 🥺✨

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊y!! 💖

You put your phone down, feeling a sense of closure on that front, at least for tonight. 

Tessa seems sweet, if a little naive about the potential complications involved with Jungkook. 

But she's also genuinely interested in him for reasons that make sense, and she seems aware enough to proceed with caution.

You roll over, pulling the covers tighter. 

It's weird, offering dating advice about your roommate who you're also sleeping with to a girl you barely know. 

Weirder still that you actually kind of... like her? And want things to work out okay for her?

Maybe you're growing up. Or maybe you're just tired.

Either way, Tuesday is going to be interesting.

Chapter 25: vanilla drips

Summary:

"Sometimes the sweetest confessions come in the form of flour wars and vanilla extract kisses, when 3 AM vulnerability meets kitchen counter chemistry and you realize you've been lying to yourself about what you actually want."

Notes:

Okay. Before anyone starts warming up their fingers to type “why is Y/N being such a hypocrite about Tessa,” let’s stop right there because actually? She’s not. Not even a little bit. What you’re witnessing here isn’t hypocrisy—it’s human behavior. It’s trauma logic. It’s psychological realism. And it’s honestly the most consistent Y/N has ever been.

Here’s the thing: what she has with Jungkook is sex. She’s said it, she’s acted on it, and more importantly—she believes it. Her brain doesn’t categorize him as a romantic option, not even subconsciously. So when she pushes Tessa toward him, it’s not because she’s lying to herself—it’s because, from her point of view, Jungkook deserves something good. After Mia? Yeah. He deserves a little sweetness. Tessa’s nice. That’s literally it. She’s responding with a moral instinct, not romantic jealousy. And that’s not hypocrisy—that’s compartmentalization paired with a genuine (if ill-defined) desire to see someone be treated well.

But here’s the question the chapter’s really asking: is “something good” always what someone needs?

Because Jungkook doesn’t recognize affection as safe. The boy has trained himself not to see it—thanks to a past that weaponized intimacy against him. So of course he doesn’t clock Tessa’s interest. It’s not him being stupid. It’s a trauma-informed blind spot. He’s too tuned into control dynamics to perceive sincerity when it’s offered without strings. (And let’s be real, how many of us have had our receptors miswired by the wrong person?)

That’s where the mutual curiosity comes in—both Y/N and Jungkook ask about each other’s dating lives in this chapter. Not because they’re pining or secretly in love or any of that fluff. They’re not. What they are, though, is interested. Maybe not in a romantic sense, but definitely in a human one. They’re trying to read each other. Understand each other. That’s what friends do. Or, in their case, that’s what trying to be friends looks like. They’re clumsy, they’re defensive, but they’re showing care in the only languages they know—flour fights and 3 AM bread commentary and checking if the other person is sleeping with someone else, just to make sense of the shape of things.

And Jungkook? For all his snark and dodging—he reads her this chapter. Like really reads her. He names her deflections. Calls out her need for control. Gives her permission to let go in ways no one else has. That kitchen scene isn’t romantic, it’s recognition. And that’s what makes it intimate. Not love. Not pining. But connection.

The vanilla extract moment—look, I know some of you are rolling your eyes at the "of course it's vanilla because that's Y/N's scent" metaphor, but hear me out. The fact that he was drinking it? That's not cute quirky behavior—that's concerning. It's self-medication disguised as harmless habit. For those of you who don’t know or haven’t caught up—vanilla extract is ethanol. Which means, it is alcohol. And Y/N recognizing it but choosing to transform it into something sensual instead of confronting it directly? That's her attempting to heal through intimacy rather than conversation, which is very much her emotional language at this point in the story.

Anyway. Enjoy the mess. Enjoy the tension. Enjoy Jungkook's dirty talk and Y/N's stubborn deflection and the way they're both falling without admitting it. It's about to get so much more complicated, and I am absolutely living for it.

Chapter Text

You're halfway to sleep when the knock comes.

Soft at first, almost hesitant, like whoever's on the other side isn't sure they should be there.

"What?" you mumble, voice thick with exhaustion.

No response.

Another knock, louder this time.

"Whatttt?" you snap, sitting up and glaring at the door.

Still no answer.

With an annoyed huff, you throw off the covers and march to the door, yanking it open—and nearly stumble into Jungkook.

He's leaning against the frame, one arm braced above his head like he's posing for a magazine cover. His hair is messy, his silver ring catching the faint light from the hallway.

You take a step back instinctively, narrowing your eyes. "What do you want? It's three in the morning."

He tilts his head toward the kitchenette, lips quirking into that infuriating half-smile. "I'm making sourdough."

You blink at him. "Sourdough?"

"Remember I told you about my Steam nickname? The baking pun?" He raises an eyebrow like he's daring you to remember.

"Huh," you say flatly, still trying to process why this man is standing outside your room at an ungodly hour talking about bread.

"Wanna see?" he asks, his grin widening.

"No," you reply immediately, crossing your arms. "Why would I want to see your midnight bread experiment?"

"Because it's cool," he says simply, as if that explains everything.

You stare at him for a long moment before sighing and stepping out of your room.

"Fine. But if this is stupid—"

"It's not stupid," he interrupts, already turning toward the kitchenette. "It's art."

"Oh my god," you mutter, following him reluctantly.

The counter is a mess of flour and bowls and what looks like a dough blob covered with a damp cloth. Jungkook gestures at it like it's a masterpiece.

"Behold," he says dramatically. "The future of bread."

You squint at it.

"It looks like a brain."

"Shows what you know about baking," he retorts, grabbing a wooden spoon and poking at the edges of the dough. "This is proofing."

"You're proofing my patience right now," you mutter, leaning against the counter.

He smirks but doesn't look up from his work. "You're just jealous because I have hobbies."

"Making bread at 3 AM isn't a hobby; it's a cry for help."

"Says the girl who reads Kafka for fun."

"It's called intellectual stimulation."

"It's called depressing bug stories."

You roll your eyes as he starts shaping the dough.

"So this is what you do when you can't sleep? Play housewife?"

"Better than doomscrolling Twitter," he shoots back without missing a beat.

"Shut up." You watch him for a moment longer before asking, "Why sourdough?"

His hands pause briefly before resuming their rhythm.

"My mom taught me how to make it when I was younger," he says quietly. "I loved it, so I picked it up quite easily. I guess it's just habit now."

There's something softer in his voice now, something almost reverent.

You don't press him for more details; it feels like enough that he shared this much.

"But I mean... why do it now?" you ask instead.

He shrugs but doesn't look up. "I told you, it helps me think."

You scoff, trying to keep the mood from dipping too far into serious territory. He finishes shaping the dough and places it on a tray before turning back to you.

"Wanna help?" he asks, holding out the wooden spoon.

"Nope," you say immediately.

"Oh come on." He wiggles the spoon enticingly. "Live a little."

"I'm living just fine without touching your weird blob bread."

"You're no fun."

He sets the spoon down with exaggerated disappointment and starts cleaning up the counter.

You watch him for another moment before grabbing the spoon and poking at the dough experimentally. It feels weirdly satisfying under your fingers—soft but firm, pliable but resistant.

Jungkook glances over and smirks again.

"See? Told you it was cool."

"Don't push it," you warn, but there's no real bite in your tone.

He chuckles softly and continues tidying up while you poke at his sourdough creation like it might reveal some hidden secrets about him—or maybe just about yourself.

And somehow, in this quiet kitchen at three in the morning, surrounded by flour and sarcasm and unexpected softness, it feels... okay.

You're still poking at the dough when Jungkook flicks a bit of flour in your direction. It lands on your arm, a tiny white puff against your skin.

"Oops," he says, not sounding sorry at all.

You narrow your eyes. "Don't start something you can't finish, Rogue."

His eyebrows shoot up at the nickname, a challenge sparking in his eyes.

"Is that a threat, Phoenix?"

"Yes it is."

You dip your fingers into the flour bag and flick it back at him, leaving a white streak across his black t-shirt.

"Oh, that's how it's gonna be?" He grins, reaching for more flour.

You back away, holding up your hands. "Don't you dare."

"What are you gonna do about it?" He advances slowly, a handful of flour cupped in his palm like a weapon.

"I'm serious, Jungkook," you warn, but you're already calculating escape routes. "I just showered."

"Should've thought about that before you started a war."

You dart around the sofa, putting it between you.

"This is childish."

"Says the girl hiding behind furniture," he counters, mirroring your movements as you circle the couch.

"I'm being smart."

"You're being a chicken."

You gasp in fake outrage. "Take that back!"

"No can do," he taunts, lunging suddenly to the left.

You shriek and bolt right, nearly slipping on the tile as you move through the narrow space between the coffee table and the couch. He's right behind you, laughing as you sprint to the other side.

"Get away from me, you monster!" you yell, but you're laughing too, the absurdity of the situation hitting you.

"Never!" he calls back, his voice pitched higher in a cartoonish villain impression. "Ueheheheh!"

You grab a throw pillow as a shield, holding it in front of you.

"I'm warning you!"

"Oh no, not the pillow," he mocks, still advancing. "Whatever shall I do?"

You swing it at him, but he dodges easily, grabbing your wrist with his flour-free hand.

Before you can react, he's smearing the flour across your cheek, touch surprisingly gentle despite the roughhousing.

"Got you," he says, voice low and triumphant.

You retaliate immediately, snatching the bag of flour from the counter and shoving your hand in.

"Fuck that, this means war!"

And so then, war begins indeed.

Flour flying everywhere, breathless laughter echoing through the apartment, furniture used as barricades and launch pads.

You leave white handprints on his shoulders when you try to push him away; he leaves them on your waist when he catches you mid-escape.

The aftermath leaves the kitchen floor looking like a disaster zone, flour coating every surface like a dusting of snow.

You're both covered in it—hair, clothes, skin—looking like ghosts in a low-budget horror movie.

"Truce?" you gasp finally, out of breath from laughing and running.

"Never surrender," he declares, lunging for you again.

You dodge, but your sock slips on the flour-covered floor, and before you fall, Jungkook grabs you, steadying you with a hand on your waist.

"Gotcha," he says again, softer this time, his face inches from yours.

You're both breathing hard, covered in flour.

His eyes flick down to your lips, then back up, a question in them.

And then—

SMACK.

His hand connects with your ass in a playful swat, leaving a perfect white handprint on your black sleep shorts.

You gasp in outrage as he dances away, cackling like a maniac.

"You did NOT just—"

"I did," he confirms, looking far too pleased with himself. "And it's a work of art, if I do say so myself."

You glance over your shoulder, trying to see the handprint.

"I'm going to kill you."

"Worth it," he declares, already backing away as you advance on him. "Totally worth it."

"You're dead, Ro," you threaten, grabbing another handful of flour. "Dead!"

He just laughs, eyes bright with mischief, not looking sorry at all.

"Come and get me then, Phoenix."

And despite yourself, despite the mess and the late hour and the flour in places flour should never be, you're laughing too, chasing him around the kitchen like you're both twelve years old instead of college students with responsibilities and complicated lives.

It's ridiculous. It's childish.

It's the most fun you've had in weeks.

Flour permeates the kitchen air like falling snowflakes.

Jungkook is now leaning against the counter, still grinning like the Cheshire cat, surveying the flour-dusted disaster.

You, for your part, are trying to brush flour off your arms, which is mostly just smearing it around.

"You know," Jungkook says, his voice laced with that fake-innocent tone he uses when he's about to say something outrageous, "all this flour… it's probably not great for your pores."

You eye him suspiciously. "And?"

"And," he continues, pushing off the counter and taking a step closer, "you should probably shower again."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock." You gesture vaguely at your flour-coated state.

"I could help," he offers. "You know… save water. Be environmentally conscious."

You burst out laughing, a startled, disbelieving sound.

"Are you serious right now? We just had a flour war, and your first thought is how to get laid?"

"Efficiency, Nix," he says, tapping his temple. "Always thinking efficiency."

"You're deranged," you choke out between laughs. "A completely deranged, horny bitch."

He just shrugs, unbothered.

"Maybe. But think of the planet."

You're still chuckling, shaking your head at his sheer audacity, when a thought flickers through your mind, uninvited and slightly uncomfortable.

Tessa.

If he actually starts dating her, if they become a thing… this—the easy banter, the late-night flirting, the casual hookups—it would all have to stop, right? You can't exactly keep sleeping with him if he has a girlfriend.

The thought leaves a weird, vaguely metallic taste in your mouth. Not jealousy, exactly. You don't want Jungkook in that way.

But the dynamic you have, this messy, undefined thing… it's familiar.

Weirdly comfortable in its own chaotic way.

The idea of it changing, ending… it's just… weird.

You push the thought away, shaking your head again, trying to clear it. Not your problem right now.

"Yeah, I'll pass on your noble environmental efforts," you say, trying to regain control of the conversation.

You look around at the white-dusted apartment, then back at him.

"Seriously though, when did you even get home? I didn't hear you come in at all."

He leans back against the counter again, crossing his arms over his flour-streaked chest.

"A while ago. Maybe you were too busy dreaming about me to notice."

"In your dreams, Rogue." You pick a stray piece of dough off your sleeve. "I was sleeping. Like normal people do at"—you glance at the microwave clock—"three-thirty in the morning."

"Normal is boring," he counters easily. "Besides, I'm stealthy. Like a ninja. A bread-making ninja."

"A messy ninja," you correct, gesturing at the flour coating literally everything, including him. "You look like a powdered donut."

"A sexy powdered donut," he clarifies, striking a pose.

You snort. "Keep telling yourself that."

You start trying to wipe down a section of the counter with a paper towel, which mostly just creates floury streaks.

"Seriously though, you didn't make any noise. I would've heard the door."

He shrugs, grabbing another paper towel and starting to help, surprisingly.

"Maybe I'm just light on my feet. Or maybe your ears are full of wax."

"Rude."

You throw the floury paper towel at him. He dodges it effortlessly.

"Just stating facts," he says, grinning. "Maybe you should get them checked. Could be impacting your hearing. Explains why you never listen to me."

"I listen," you argue, crumpling up another paper towel. "I just usually choose to ignore you because ninety percent of what you say is bullshit."

"That feels statistically inaccurate," he muses, wiping down the handle of the fridge. He leaves a faint white handprint behind. "I'd say it's more like… eighty-two percent bullshit. The other eighteen percent is pure genius."

"Delusional," you mutter, tackling the flour patch on the floor near the sink. "Completely delusional."

He stops wiping and just watches you for a second, a thoughtful expression replacing the usual smirk.

"You really didn't hear me come in?"

"No," you say, looking up. "Why? Should I have?"

He shakes his head, the smirk returning.

"Nah. Just means my ninja skills are improving. Or you're a really heavy sleeper." He leans closer, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "Do you snore, Nix? Is that your dirty little secret?"

"I do not snore," you hiss, flicking water at him. "And get out of my personal space."

He laughs, easily dodging the water droplets. "Just asking!"

He resumes wiping the counter, humming softly under his breath.

You watch him for a moment, thoughts about Tessa still churning in your mind.

It's ridiculous, standing here covered in flour at nearly four in the morning, cleaning up a mess you both made, arguing about ninja skills and snoring.

But somehow, it feels… normal. Your kind of normal, anyway.

Messy, complicated, and definitely not boring.

You're on your hands and knees, attempting to wipe up a particularly stubborn patch of flour near the leg of the kitchen island, when you decide to go for it.

Operation: Tessa Reconnaissance. For the sisterhood, obviously.

And maybe a tiny bit because you're curious how this whole mess fits together.

"So," you say, keeping your voice casual as you swipe uselessly at the floor, "your friends seem… like a lot."

Jungkook snorts from where he's attempting to de-flour the coffee maker.

"Yeah, they're idiots. But they're my idiots."

"Including Library Girl?" you ask, aiming for nonchalance. "The redhead? Tessa?"

He pauses, glancing over his shoulder.

"Tessa? Yeah, she was there. Why?"

"No reason," you say quickly, maybe too quickly, focusing intently on the flour patch. "Just noticed you two talking a lot. She seems… nice."

"She is nice," he agrees easily, turning back to the coffee maker. "Super smart, too. Knows her shit about film. Like, really knows it."

Okay, good start. He acknowledges her existence and intelligence. Phase one complete.

"Yeah?" you prompt. "She mentioned you guys talked about… Park Chan-wook?"

You pronounce the name carefully, hoping you got it right based on Tessa's text.

He brightens instantly, forgetting the coffee maker entirely and turning to face you fully.

"Dude, yes! She actually got why The Handmaiden is structured the way it is. Most people just focus on the twists, but she was talking about the shifting perspectives and visual storytelling… it was cool."

His enthusiasm is genuine, almost nerdy. It's the same way he lit up talking about John Mayer's guitar playing. He's clearly impressed by her film knowledge.

"So… you like her?" you ask, trying to sound like you're just making conversation while scrubbing the floor.

"Yeah, she's cool," he says easily. "Definitely one of the few people in that class who isn't a total poser. We had this debate about Bong Joon-ho's genre blending—it was actually interesting."

He seems focused entirely on the intellectual connection. No hint of anything else.

Time for phase two: physical attraction assessment.

"She's really pretty, too," you add, still scrubbing. "Like, model pretty."

He shrugs, grabbing a damp cloth to wipe down the counter where his dough blob still sits.

"Yeah, I guess. Didn't really notice."

You stop scrubbing and look up at him incredulously. "You didn't notice? She looks like she walked off a runway and directly into that ramen shop. How could you not notice?"

He frowns slightly, like he's genuinely trying to recall her appearance beyond 'classmate'.

"I mean, she's got… hair? And a face? I don't know, Nix, I was more focused on the conversation." He seems genuinely perplexed by your insistence. "Why are you so hung up on how she looks?"

"I'm not hung up!" you retort, feeling defensive for reasons you can't quite articulate. "I just… stating facts. She's objectively attractive."

"Okay?" He draws the word out, like he doesn't understand the relevance. "Lots of people are attractive. Doesn't mean anything."

He gestures vaguely with the damp cloth.

"Are we gonna finish cleaning this up or are we analyzing the relative hotness of my classmates now?"

You huff, returning to your floor scrubbing.

Unbelievable. Either he's genuinely oblivious or he's the world's best actor.

Given his track record, oblivious seems more likely.

"Fine," you mutter. "Just making an observation."

"Well, observe the flour patch you missed by the trash can," he retorts, pointing with the cloth.

You glare at the spot, then at him.

"Bossy."

"Best one."

You crawl over to the trash can, wiping up the offending flour.

Okay, so he acknowledges she's nice, smart, shares his interests, but is apparently blind to the fact that she's a literal goddess?

Why are men so confusing?

"So," you try again, shifting tactics. "Since she's so cool and smart and into the same weird movies as you… you gonna ask her out?"

He stops wiping again, looking genuinely surprised by the question.

"Ask her out? Why would I do that?"

"Because… you like her? You just said she was cool and smart?"

Are you losing your mind? Is he actually this dense?

"Yeah, as a friend," he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "We're in the same class. We talk about movies. That's… what friends do?"

"Jungkook," you say slowly, sitting back on your heels and facing him directly. "Girls like Tessa—girls who look like her and are that nice—don't usually go out of their way to talk to guys about obscure Korean directors unless they're interested."

He stares at you, blinking. Like the concept is entirely foreign.

"Wait, you think she… likes me? Like, likes likes me?"

"Is there an echo in here?" you ask dryly. "Yes, you absolute walnut. That's generally how that works."

He runs a hand through his flour-dusted hair, looking completely bewildered.

"No way. She's just… friendly. People are friendly sometimes, Nix."

"Not that friendly," you insist. "Trust me. There's friendly, and then there's 'laughing at all your jokes and touching your arm every five minutes' friendly. That's different."

He actually seems to consider this, replaying interactions in his head.

His brow furrows.

"She does laugh a lot… And she did touch my arm…" He looks back at you, still skeptical. "But maybe she's just, like, a touchy person?"

"Or maybe she wants to touch your dick," you deadpan.

He chokes on air, eyes widening.

"Dude! What the fuck?"

"Just saying! It's a possibility you seem to have completely overlooked."

He shakes his head, a disbelieving laugh escaping him.

"Nah. No way. You're messing with me."

"I'm really not," you say, suddenly feeling bad for Tessa—because this poor beautiful girl is putting in the effort, and he's completely clueless. "She basically told me she likes you."

"She told you?" Finally, he looks like oxygen is reaching his brain. "When?"

"At the party. We talked for a bit."

"And she just… announced her romantic interest in me? To my roommate? That seems weird."

"It wasn't like that! She was asking for advice! Because she was nervous!" You're practically defending her now. "She's really sweet, Rogue. And clearly into you."

He leans back against the counter again, processing this information.

He doesn't look smug or pleased, just… thoughtful.

And maybe a little overwhelmed.

"Huh," he says softly. "Never would've guessed."

He's quiet for a moment, staring down at the floury cloth in his hand.

"I mean, she is… really nice."

"So?" you prompt. "Now that you know the feeling might be mutual…?"

He sighs, dropping the cloth into the sink.

"I don't know, Nix."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

He avoids your eyes, turning on the faucet and starting to rinse the cloth with unnecessary focus.

"Dating's… complicated, you know?"

"Everything's complicated with you," you mutter.

He glances back, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes before it's gone.

"Yeah, well. Maybe that's just how it is." He turns off the water, wringing out the cloth. "Besides, I'm not really… looking for anything right now."

"You're never looking for anything," you point out. "Except maybe your keys. Or a clean mug."

"Exactly," he says, attempting a grin, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Too busy looking for my keys."

There it is again. That deflection. That hint of something heavier beneath that he refuses to acknowledge.

You think about what Yoongi said, about Mia, about Jungkook needing to be careful.

Maybe he's right to be hesitant.

"Okay," you say quietly, deciding not to push it further.

You've done your recon. You have information for Tessa, even if it's not the straightforward green light she might be hoping for.

"Just… don't be a dick to her, alright? If you're not interested, fine. But she's nice. She doesn't deserve games."

He looks surprised by your defense of her.

"I wasn't planning on playing games." He hesitates, then adds, almost reluctantly, "She does seem… different. From…"

He trails off, but you know who he means.

Mia.

An awkward silence hangs between you for a moment.

Unspoken history and potential futures.

Jungkook breaks it first, clapping his hands together with forced brightness.

"Okay, enough about my potential love life," he says, a mischievous glint returning to his eyes. "Let's talk yours. How was the date with Jason?"

You freeze, paper towel in hand, caught off guard by the sudden shift in conversation.

"What?"

He's halfway through sweeping a particularly stubborn pile of flour when he pauses, leaning on the broom handle.

"You know, Jason? Tall guy, glasses, probably owns more vests than actual personality traits?" He waves the broom vaguely. "The one you were all dressed up for earlier?"

"I wasn't dressed up," you protest automatically, even though you know it's a lie.

You definitely put effort into your appearance for that coffee date.

Jungkook snorts.

"Please. You were wearing makeup on a Sunday. And that green top thing that makes your—" He cuts himself off, clearing his throat. "Anyway. Spill. How'd it go with Professor Boring?"

You narrow your eyes at him.

"His name is Jason, and he's not boring. He's... mature."

"Mature," Jungkook repeats, drawing out the word like it's a foreign concept. "Right. Because that's what every college student dreams of. Maturity."

"Some of us actually want to date functioning adults," you retort.

"Functioning is overrated," he says with a grin. "But seriously, how was it? Did he dazzle you with his extensive knowledge of... what does he study again? 18th-century doorknobs?"

"Modern literature," you correct, rolling your eyes. "And it was nice."

Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

"Nice? That's it? Wow, don't oversell it or anything."

You sigh, grabbing the dustpan to help him with the flour pile.

"It was really nice, okay? He's smart, and he actually listens when I talk. We had a great conversation about female agency in Gothic novels."

"Riveting," Jungkook deadpans. "I'm sure the sexual tension was off the charts. Did you hold hands while discussing the patriarchal oppression of women in corsets?"

"You're such an ass," you mutter, but there's no real heat behind it. "Not everything has to be about sexual tension, you know."

"Doesn't have to be," he agrees, sweeping the last of the flour into the dustpan you're holding. "But it sure makes things more interesting."

And yeah, you catch him looking.

That look.

The one that says he's already decided how this ends.

One hand still loosely gripping the broom handle, the other braced against the table as he leans into it like he's posing for a fucking cologne ad.

You don't acknowledge it at first. Too proud. Too fucking annoyed by how easily he can flip the switch. One second you're arguing about Gothic literature and vests, the next—he's practically leaking testosterone across the countertop.

"I know that face," you mutter, not even looking up. "That's your 'I need to nut or I'll die' face."

He grins, unbothered. "Not wrong."

"Go jerk off in your sad little windowless cave like a normal person."

He shrugs, grabbing the bag of flour again, sifting some through his fingers with mock concentration.

"Mmm. Say it again. That mouth of yours, Pix… always so fuckin' mouthy."

You roll your eyes, but your stomach dips. "Maybe if you had more than two brain cells to rub together, I wouldn't have to talk so much."

"Yeah?" he says, ignoring the flour and stepping forward.

One stride. Two. And then he's right in front of you, eyes glinting.

"Keep runnin' that smart pretty mouth. See what happens."

You're about to fire something back—something snarky, something biting—but he grabs you.

Just yanks you forward by the waistband like it's nothing. Like you're nothing but a ragdoll he gets to toss around.

Your body stumbles into his chest and suddenly both his hands are on your ass, gripping it with filthy enthusiasm—greedy, solid handfuls of flesh through thin cotton, palms still dusty with flour. His fingers press, squeeze, spread, claim.

You gasp—too startled to bite it back.

And he fucking grins.

"See what you do to me when you act like that?"

His cock's hard against your stomach. Rock solid. Obvious. Shameless. He doesn't even try to hide it.

"God, Nix," he mutters, voice thick now. "C'mon. It's been too long."

You snort. "I sucked your winny yesterday."

He breaks—a bark of laughter, genuine and scandalized.

"Winny?" he repeats, like he can't believe you said it. "You calling my dick a preschool toy now?"

You shrug, deadpan. "Fits. Loud, annoying, kind of a drama queen."

He leans in again, dragging his mouth close, too close.

"Uh-uh, and I ate you out the day before that," he says, scornful little smile tugging at his lips like he's winning something. "So technically… still overdue."

"So?" you snap, but your voice is breathier than it should be. "That's not overdue."

"It is," he says, like it's math. "I mean actually being inside you. Kinda been craving it for a while now."

You swallow. Loud.

"Should I bend you over the kitchen table?" he murmurs. "Fuck you from behind? Bet you'd like that, huh?"

"Please," you scoff. "You'd probably knock over your sacred sourdough."

He grins, cocky and low and unbearable.

"So protective of the dough. But not my Winny?"

You slap his chest, trying not to laugh.

"Don't say it like that."

"Me? You gave it a name, so… C'mon, give my Winny some love, Pix."

You snort, and it comes out halfway between a laugh and a groan because your thighs are starting to ache with how badly you want pressure. Relief. Something.

"Counter or table?" he asks, already walking you backwards.

You hesitate. Just a second.

"…Counter."

He doesn't wait. Doesn't ask. Just grabs you and lifts like it's easy, like you weigh nothing. Drops your ass right onto the cool marble and steps between your legs—close enough your knees bracket his hips.

And his voice? His voice is low and filthy and unforgiving.

"Atta girl."

His mouth is on you before you can roll your eyes.

Hot, hungry kisses trailing up your neck—messy, unhurried, lips dragging like he wants to brand you. He bites at your jaw, just enough pressure to make your breath hitch. You tilt your head without thinking, baring your throat like a fucking offering.

And he groans—low and wrecked—like that does something to him. Like you're giving him more than skin.

His hands stay on your thighs, thumbs digging into the soft crease near your hips, holding you open while he devours.

You blink, and something catches the light near the sink.

Tiny. Brown. Familiar.

Your arm reaches past him, still off-balance on the counter. Fingers curl around it—vanilla extract.

You hold it up between two fingers, smirking.

"Why the fuck is this out?"

His head lifts just enough to glance at what you mean.

"Oh," he says, then immediately dives back in, mouthing at your collarbone like he didn't just answer you. "Nothing. Was sipping a lil bit earlier."

Your body stiffens. Barely. But he feels it.

You don't say anything for a second. You just… look at the bottle.

That rooftop moment. Yesterday. Him alone up there while the party buzzed under your feet. You didn't press then, just made a joke, let him deflect.

But it doesn't take a genius to figure out why someone drinks baking extract ethanol like it's bourbon.

You lick your lips. Keep your voice easy. Teasing.

"That why you smell like a cookie?"

He huffs a laugh against your throat. "You love it. Bet it's makin' you wet just thinking about biting into me."

He's joking. He's back to kissing.

But the bottle is still in your hand, glass warm from your skin, rolling between your fingers like it's got a heartbeat.

And okay. Fine. Maybe you're a little unhinged too.

"Wanna try something?" you ask, voice quiet, a little hoarse.

His head lifts slow. Eyes lazy. Lips wet.

He tilts his head, cock twitching against you like it heard the shift in your voice before he did.

"Yeah?" he says, grinning like he already knows he's gonna say yes no matter what it is. "What're we trying, Phoenix?"

Because you know—you know this man would let you pour hot sauce on his dick if you told him it'd turn you on.

His gaze flicks to the bottle still resting against your palm. Back to your mouth.

"Fuck, yeah," he says, voice already going gravel. "Show me."

You dab two fingers against the lip of the bottle, tilting it just enough to coat your skin in that sticky-sweet scent. Not much—just enough to cling. Your pulse, your collarbone, the hinge of your neck.

His eyes track everything. Like he's under hypnosis.

Slow drag up your wrist, down your throat. Pupils blown wide. Tongue peeking out to wet his bottom lip like it's instinct.

And then you offer it to him.

Your throat—tilted, bare. Vanilla blooming warm across your skin, seeping into heat, mixing with your scent.

You watch his jaw tick, tension wrapped in restraint.

He hesitates. Just for a breath. Not because he's unsure. But because he knows what'll happen if he starts.

His eyes drop to your hand. Then back up to your face. And then—

He grabs your wrist, rough but reverent, and slides your fingers straight into his mouth.

His tongue curls around them, sucks them clean like he's starving and this is the only sweet thing he's allowed to have.

His eyes don't leave yours for a second.

Heavy. Dark. Quietly fucking feral.

You feel it in your cunt.

That twitch—sharp and sudden—when he lets your fingers fall from his mouth with a wet pop and immediately dives back into your neck.

No warning. No mercy.

Just mouth on skin, lips dragging open over the vanilla, tongue flattening against your throat like he's licking you clean. Like you're the bottle. Like he's drunk and this is the relapse.

"Mmmfph—fuck," he groans against your neck, hot breath flooding over your skin. "You're—fuck—you're dessert, Phoenix."

He's biting now. Mouthing. Bruising.

Your head falls back against the cabinets with a dull thud and you don't care. Not even a little.

His hands are under your thighs again, yanking you closer to the edge of the counter like he's going to eat you here and now and be proud of the mess.

He doesn't stop licking your neck—just shifts slightly, mouth dragging lower, wetter, hungrier—until he can grab the flask again without even looking. He uncaps it one-handed, like he's done it a hundred times in the dark.

Because he probably has.

And then he's holding it over your chest.

"Hold still, Phoenix."

Voice low. Thick with something needy.

You barely nod before the cool drip hits your skin—fuck—a slow, deliberate trail spilling from the center of your collarbone and down, sliding between your tits, disappearing under the fabric of your tank top.

He watches it move. Doesn't blink. Bites his bottom lip like he's trying to restrain himself and failing spectacularly.

"Fuckkk," he mutters under his breath, and the way he stares?

You'd think he just watched God part the Red Sea between your tits.

But he can't see where it goes. Not really. Because of the shirt.

And that?

That's unacceptable.

So he doesn't ask. Doesn't even warn.

He just grabs the hem of your tank and yanks it up, fast and messy, until it's bunched under your armpits. The cool air hits your bare skin, but his gaze is scorching—dragging down to your breasts, then lower, following the trail of sticky syrup that's now sliding beneath.

He drops the flask without care.

Leans in.

And presses his mouth to the spot just under your breasts, where the drip ends. A hot, open-mouthed kiss. Tongue darting out to chase the taste.

He groans against your skin, like you're something forbidden and fuck, he's eating it anyway.

Then he starts licking up.

Slow. Thorough. Filthy.

Tongue dragging up the underside of your tits, between them, following the line of vanilla all the way back to your cleavage. His breath is hot and shaky, hands holding your thighs tight like he needs to anchor himself before he devours you.

"You taste like fucking heaven," he growls against your skin.

And you can barely breathe.

You lean back on your palms, spine arching subtly, thighs spreading wider across the counter—silent invitation.

His mouth twitches. Just slightly. Like he's trying to play it cool, like he's not already mentally wrecked.

Your fingers close around the vanilla bottle again.

And you tip it over your stomach.

A thin stream spills, slow and syrupy, tracing a path from just under your ribs down to your navel.

Sticky gold pooling in that soft dip, then slipping lower—toward your waistband, beneath it.

He stops.

Mid-breath.

Eyes drop.

Then drag back up to your face, slow as fucking sin.

And those eyes… those fucking eyes.

Dark like blackout curtains. Hungry. But quiet, too. Restrained. Like he's hanging onto the last thread of control and it's fraying fast.

He bites his lip again, teeth dragging over it, jaw flexing.

You raise a brow.

"Aren't you licking the vanilla off my skin, Rogue?" you say, voice steady, teasing, like your pulse isn't sprinting. "Go ahead."

He snorts through his nose—horny.

It's not even a laugh, not really. More like disbelief.

"Jesus, you're such a fucking menace."

Then he moves.

Hands at your waistband, yanking your shorts down like they've personally offended him.

There's no grace. No finesse. Just desperate, fumbling urgency, like if he doesn't get them off now he might lose it.

They hit the floor. So do your panties.

And then he drops to his knees.

Hooks your thighs over his elbows and pulls you closer to the edge of the counter, eyes level with your pussy. Eye to eye with his fucking meal, and the smirk that twitches at the edge of his mouth is so cocky it should be illegal.

But then he pauses.

Eyes catch on the fact that you're smooth. Bare.

His gaze flicks up, that same damn smirk sharpening.

"So you did plan on wishing me a happy birthday, huh?"

You groan, head thunking back against the cabinets.

"Shut up before I change my mind."

He just laughs, grabbing your thigh and yanking you closer, like that's his response.

It is.

"Thanks for the gift," he says with mock sincerity, "but like… full runway smooth? Nix. Just so you know, I like a little design."

You gape at him.

Is he serious right now?

Does he ever stop speaking?

Or think before he speaks? Like 'oh this might sound embarrassing coming from my mouth, I probably should keep it to myself.'

No. Definitely no.

"Design?"

He nods, dead serious now.

"I'm just saying. Little lightning bolt? Maybe a star? I could help you trim it next time. Get real artsy with it."

"I hate you," you mutter, scandalized and laughing, because of course this is what he's focusing on.

"I'm just saying…" he defends, grinning like a madman. "Bare's too creepy. I like texture, Phoenix. But not, like, a forest. I'm not tryna floss with it."

"God, you're disgusting," you shoot back, heat simmering low in your gut despite the absurdity.

"Disgustingly honest," he counters. "I want a little… edge. Like an angled fade. A pussy taper."

You laugh so hard your core clenches and he notices. Eyes drop. His smirk vanishes.

And just like that, he's focused again. Hands tightening around your thighs. Mouth opening. Ready to dive in.

But not before he whispers:

"Now be good and let me taste my birthday cake."

His mouth hovers. That maddening space—right there, close enough to feel his breath but not close enough to feel him.

It's hot. Each exhale fanning over your cunt like a fucking tease. You twitch, involuntary, hips tilting forward on reflex, thighs tensing around his shoulders.

"Rogue," you murmur, half-warn, half-beg.

He smirks. That slow, cocky pull of his lips that tells you he's going to drag this out just to see how long it takes before you snap.

He leans in, tongue barely peeking out like he's going to lick—

And then doesn't.

"I will actually punch you in the face," you hiss.

But he's already grabbing the bottle again.

His other hand steadies you, fingers splayed on your thigh, as he lifts the vanilla flask to eye level. Tips it slightly.

"Wait—" You grab a fistful of his hair. "Wait. Is that even safe?"

He pauses. Looks up at you, eyes wide, surprised—but not annoyed. Just… calm.

"Yeah," he says, voice casual but sincere. "This one's alcohol-based, not oil. No sugar. Won't mess with your PH or anything, I like your pussy way too much to risk it."

You roll your eyes, but okay. Fine. He's got a point.

And he's never put you in danger—annoyed, yes. Insane with frustration, absolutely.

But never unsafe.

"Okay," you mutter. "Proceed with your perversion."

"Oh, I plan to."

He uncaps it.

And the way he does it—so casually, like this is just some Wednesday night extracurricular?—makes your whole body lock up in anticipation.

He tips the bottle, lets a slow stream of vanilla drizzle from just above your navel, down the curve of your belly, heading lower.

It tickles. Warm and sticky, trailing through your folds, and your whole fucking body tenses with it.

His tongue flicks out, but this time, it's not teasing—it's the real deal.

His tongue drags up.

One long, slow stroke—base to tip—starting where your thighs twitch and ending where the vanilla's pooled.

He groans into it. Groans. Like it's crème fucking brûlée and he's been starving for a week. Like your cunt is the main course and dessert and a Michelin star.

You blink down at him, suddenly weirdly self-conscious.

Because—why the fuck is he acting like it's the best thing he's ever tasted?

It's vanilla extract and you, not caviar. Chill.

Your instinct is to kick him. Or flick his stupid forehead. Something.

But your cunt's already clenching around nothing, wetter than you want to admit.

Because—goddammit—his enthusiasm is doing something to you.

Like deeply. Shamefully. Physically.

You glance down, ready to call him dramatic. Maybe smack the back of his head.

But his eyes are closed.

And not in a performative way. Not for show.

They're hidden—lashes soaked, hair falling in messy dark strands over his brows. His whole face is fucking soft—relaxed, like he's at peace. Like this is meditation. Like your pussy is his church.

You reach down, tug his hair back just enough to uncover his face—need to see him.

Need to look.

And then—fuck. He looks up.

And he smirks. Caught you in 4K. Knew exactly what you were doing.

You want to smack him. Or yank his head down harder. Or kiss him. Or maybe scream.

It's all too much. He's too much.

But he just shifts again, mouth zeroing in now—on your clit this time. Tongue flat. Warm. Pressure steady and—fuck, fuck—

Your head slams back against the cabinet. You don't even feel it.

Because he's staring straight at you while he licks.

Intense. Sure. Smug. Like he knows. And the worst part?

He does.

You don't like eye contact. You hate eye contact.

Or—you did. Before he made it his fucking thing.

Now it's some kind of sex death ray. You're melting under it. You can't breathe under it.

He pulls back just enough to speak, his voice hoarse, lips slick with you.

"So mouthy up there…" he breathes, thumb dragging over your inner thigh. "But fuck, you're weepin' for me down here."

You choke on your own spit.

"Shut the fuck up with your cringy little sex monologue."

He snorts. Has the audacity to laugh into your cunt like it's funny.

"Uhhh? I thought we were past that whole thing where you pretend you don't like my dirty talk."

"I don't—"

He cuts you off with a slow circle of his tongue around your clit. Just once. Cruel.

"Right. That's why you got all hot when you said, 'Do you want me to ride you?'" he mimics, low and teasing. "Looked me in the eye when you said it, too. Said it just like that. Fuckin' purring, Pix."

You groan. "God, I hate you."

He grins. "No, you don't. You just hate that you like this."

Another lick.

Another smug look.

Another twitch deep in your gut.

And all you can do is glare at him—until his mouth is back on you, and then you can't even do that.

Because fuck, he picks up the pace.

Your right leg bends, heel dragging up his arm, foot planting itself on his shoulder like it belongs there. Toes curling the second his tongue swirls just right—just there. Over and over. Unrelenting.

Your whole torso arches back, spine stretched out like a bow. Head thunked against the cupboard above, hands gripping the edge of the counter so tight your knuckles go white.

And he doesn't stop.

Both his hands keep you steady, locked around your thighs, until the right one slides up—palm dragging over your skin, hot and too much. It settles right in that spot between your hip and waist. Thumb pressing into your side like an anchor.

Like he's keeping you from falling.

Like you're breakable.

You want to scream. Or sob. Or maybe just bite him for being so fucking considerate while simultaneously licking your pussy like he's trying to win a Michelin star.

You whimper. Actually whimper.

Because it's too much.

Because how the fuck does he even do that with his tongue?

It's obscene. Criminal. Feels like he's mapping you from memory now—like he's figured out every angle, every twitch, every exact combination that gets you to the edge in five minutes or less.

And—fuck—there it is.

That low hum in your belly, spiraling sharp and fast, heat pulsing outward. Nerve endings tightening. Your thighs start to close but he forces them open with a flex of his arms, tongue flattening again.

You gasp. Loud. Desperate.

Your hand flies down to his head and you yank his hair—hard.

He growls against you, frustrated, head jerking up, lips glossy and chin slick and brows scrunched like he's ready to fight.

"What," he snaps, breathless, panting. "What—what the fuck—"

You just whisper, shaky:

"Inside."

He blinks. Once. Twice.

Mouth parts. Eyes still a little wild.

"Huh?"

You meet his gaze, still breathless.

"I wanna cum with you inside me."

It short-circuits him. For real.

He pushes to stand so fast he almost stumbles. Feet trip a little. Palms slap the counter behind you as he catches himself and mutters, "Yeah—okay—fuck—gimme a second—"

But you reach out. Grab his arm. Stop him cold.

You lick your lips.

Probably look stupid. Glossy-eyed and dazed, like someone just rewired your brain through your pussy.

Whatever. You don't care.

You don't care because you can feel it now.

That ache. The need. The desperate, pulsing want for him to just get inside already. Your whole body's still twitching from his mouth and now it's fucking empty.

No thank you.

So you yank him. Hard.

Fingers curling in the loose fabric of his tee, tugging him back toward you like gravity's rewired itself around your cunt.

He lets himself be pulled. Doesn't even fight it. Just stumbles forward until he's between your legs again and then—then you're crashing his mouth to yours.

No hesitation. No buildup. No thoughts.

Just heat. Tongue. Need.

It's messy. Teeth clash. Vanilla and sweat and slick.

His hands slam to the counter beside your thighs for balance, knuckles brushing your waist as your tongue slides against his and you swallow the groan he lets out.

And yeah. You don't kiss men after they eat you out. Ever.

You've always thought it was gross, honestly. You live in your pussy. You don't need the flavor profile introduced.

But with him? Right now?

You don't even care.

You just want to taste what he tastes like. Want his spit in your mouth. Want to feel him.

So you kiss him like you mean it. Like you're not overthinking it. Like this doesn't break five of your own personal rules.

When you finally pull back, lips slick and breathing uneven, you keep your hands fisted in his shirt.

And say—quiet. Calm. "No need for condoms."

His eyes snap open.

You watch them go wide like you just told him the world's ending tomorrow and there's a free-for-all orgy scheduled at noon.

He coughs. Legit coughs. Like your spit went down the wrong pipe.

"Wait—what?"

You shrug. "I have a copper IUD. Works from minute one. I'm good."

His mouth opens, then closes again. Brain buffering.

"I mean…" he blinks. "I—I just—I didn't think you'd…"

You arch a brow.

He shakes his head a little, eyes dropping to your lips.

"No—like—I'm not complaining, I just—" His mouth staggers like he can't quite get the words out fast enough. "Are you sure?"

"I mean, you've been fucking with condoms, right?"

"Yeah. Always. Jesus. Yeah."

"And you've been getting tested?"

He gives you a look. "You think I'd be rawdogging around Brooklyn without paperwork?"

"Kind of," you mutter, just to mess with him.

"Okay, rude," he says, palm flattening on your thigh like it's involuntary. "I'm not feral. I'm—I'm… a respectful slut."

You almost laugh. Almost.

Then you say, quieter, "I haven't fucked anybody else since I fucked you."

And that? That actually makes him pause.

He blinks again. "Wait. For real?"

"Yeah. Nothing so far."

And he doesn't make it a thing. Doesn't get all soft and stupid about it.

He just takes a beat, stares at you, lips slightly parted like he's replaying it. Like the logistics are finally syncing in.

"Okay," he says. Rough. Breathless. "Yeah. Yeah, that's… okay."

You tap his chest. "Just cum outside, alright? Just in case."

He groans. Low and pained.

"Pix."

"I'm serious."

"You're killing me."

"Don't care."

"I'll pull out," he promises, fingers tightening on your skin. "But I swear to god, if you keep saying shit like that—inside, raw, no condom—I'm gonna lose it before I even get my pants off."

You grin back. "Sounds like a you problem."

And he breathes out, frustrated and horny and fucking wrecked, and mutters—

"You're my fucking problem."

He licks his lips.

Slow. Deliberate. Like he's already tasting you again.

Then he leans in and murmurs against your cheek—

"Okay. Turn around."

You blink. "Huh?"

The corners of his mouth tug up. "Turn. Around."

"Of course you wanna change positions."

"What can I say," he shrugs, cock already visibly straining through his sweatpants. "Artist's curiosity."

Still. You do it.

He helps you down—steadying hands at your waist, guiding you like you're breakable, which, let's be honest, rude. And once your feet hit the floor, you shift, pivoting slowly to face the counter.

Elbows down. Back arched.

You stick your ass out just to be a bitch about it.

He groans. Actually fucking groans. Like it hurts him.

"Jesus Christ," he mutters, hands immediately cupping your ass like it's reflex. "You're such a bitch."

You smirk into the counter. "Complaining?"

"No complaints." He huffs out a laugh. "Hands on the counter."

You glance over your shoulder. Raise a brow.

"Trust me," he says, already dragging one palm up the curve of your back.

You hum. But you do it. Flatten your hands, palms flush with the counter's edge.

Behind you, there's a shuffle.

Then that sound—the sound.

Elastic snapping as he yanks his waistband down.

You hear him shift his stance, toes lifting slightly as he lines himself up behind you. And then—

The press.

Just his tip, nudging against your entrance, and your whole body seizes, lips parting around a silent gasp as your thighs instinctively press together.

"You better not let go of that counter," he mutters low.

You don't answer.

Not out of defiance—just because your brain's gone static.

So he spanks you. Sharp and hot and immediate.

"I said something to you," he growls, palm landing hard enough to echo. "Did you hear?"

"Yeah," you breathe. "Okay."

"That's what I thought."

Then his hand drops from your ass, slides between your thighs, fingers spreading you open as he lines himself up again. Still doesn't push in.

Just rubs.

His cock slides up and down your slit, slow, deliberate strokes. Slick everywhere. Your breath stutters every time he nudges your clit on the way up.

"God, you're so fucking slippery," he mutters, almost in disbelief. "Dripping for it. I haven't even put it in yet."

You close your eyes, grip tightening on the edge of the counter.

"Your pussy's acting like it missed me," he adds, rocking his hips again, cockhead dragging lazily across your folds. "She's not even pretending."

"Maybe she has bad taste," you snap, voice shaky.

He laughs. Loud.

Then does it again—another glide, another tease, tip pausing right at your entrance just long enough for your breath to catch, then slipping away again before you can adjust.

"You're gonna lose it, huh," he murmurs. "All that smart mouth. All that sass. Gonna forget how to speak when I give you what you want?"

You grit your teeth.

He slides his tip back again, holds it there—barely inside. Just pressure.

Still not pushing in.

Still not giving it to you.

You whimper, shoulders tensing.

"Gripping the counter, Phoenix?" he asks sweetly. "Like I told you to?"

Your fingers curl tighter.

He grins.

And stays right fucking there. Not moving.

Just waiting.

Just standing there behind you like a smug little shit, cockhead resting at your entrance, hot and heavy and perfectly fucking poised—and somehow not going any further.

You shift your hips back slightly, trying to bait him.

He clicks his tongue. "Uh-uh."

"Rogue."

"Pix."

You groan. "You're so fucking annoying."

"Don't tempt me. I could stay like this all night," he says, cock dragging up through your folds again just to prove his point. "Just rub it against you until you're crying."

You scoff. "You act like that's a threat."

He leans forward, chest brushing your back, voice right at your ear.

"You'd cry so pretty."

You twist your head just enough to glare at him.

"You're actually insane."

"Says the girl bent over the counter like a porn scene," he grins, straightening back up. "All 'no condoms, fuck me raw, Rogue' like it's nothing."

You roll your eyes. "Oh, sorry. Do you not want it?"

He hums thoughtfully. "Kinda liking the view, not gonna lie."

"Oh my god."

"Seriously. You ever seen your ass from this angle? Top-tier."

"Shut the fuck up," you mutter, squeezing the counter harder. "You gonna give a Google Maps review next?"

"Might," he shrugs. "Five stars. Would fuck again."

You start to reply—some scathing, lethal retort—but you don't even get the first word out.

Because suddenly—he pushes.

All the way in.

One smooth, brutal thrust.

And you moan.

Loud. Unfiltered. Embarrassing.

Your hands slam flat on the counter like your body can't fucking handle it. The stretch, the shock of it.

You feel full. Too full.

He doesn't ease in. Doesn't give you time to adjust. Just buries himself in one go like it's his fucking right.

Then—smack.

His palm lands on your ass again, sharp and fast.

"That's more like it," he pants behind you, hand lingering after the slap. "There's my girl."

He pulls out slow.

Real slow.

Too slow.

Like he wants you to feel every inch leaving you, feel how empty you get without him. Like he's making a point.

Then—slam.

Hard. Deep. Ruthless.

You jolt forward, hands scrambling for grip as the counter rattles under your hips. A broken sound slips out of you—more instinct than choice—and behind you, he laughs.

Actually laughs.

A horny little chuckle, cock still buried deep like he didn't just rearrange your goddamn organs.

If you could twist around and kick him in the ribs, you would.

"What the fuck are you laughing at," you bite out.

He hums, smug as ever. "Sounded cute."

You glare at the spot, then at him.

"I'll show you cute—"

But you don't finish it. Because he pulls out again, and then slams back in with the same brutal force that leaves your legs trembling and your lungs gone.

What the fuck is he so cocky about?

He's the one getting it raw.

You're the one granting the privilege here. He should be grateful. You could revoke his rights real quick.

Even though… you won't.

Because there's something about it. About this.

No condom. Just skin. Just him.

It's different.

You don't know why it's hotter. Why it feels so much more intimate. You didn't think it would be. It's just cock. Just fucking. But now you feel everything—every twitch, every drag, every time he shifts his angle and catches that spot that has you choking on air.

And then he murmurs behind you, voice low—

"Does it hurt?"

You swallow. "No."

"Good," he says. Calm. Like it's logistics. "If it does, just arch your back more. Fixes the angle."

Fucking hell.

There it is, again.

How is he being considerate and a little shit at the same time?

You're not even flustered because of the sex anymore—you're flustered because he's flipping toggles like he doesn't even notice he's doing it.

You don't respond.

You can't. Because he grabs your hips and—

Slams into you again.

Not fast. Not rushed. Just one clean, devastatingly hard thrust that knocks the breath straight out of you. His grip holds you there, cock pressed deep, dragging that edge of pain into something white-hot and filthy.

"God," he mutters, breath catching. "The way you're gripping me—fuck—you like that, Nix?"

You don't answer.

Too proud. Too dazed. Too stubborn.

So he spanks you. Again.

Sharp and immediate.

"Answer me when I talk to you."

You flinch. Then growl, "Keep spanking and being demanding and I'll revoke raw rights so fucking fast—"

But he just snickers.

"Oh, will you?"

You can hear the smirk.

Then he leans over, chest brushing your back, breath hot on your ear.

"You like it when I slap my hand on your ass, Nix," he says, low and satisfied. "That's why I keep doing it."

You scoff. "You're making shit up."

He grinds into you once, slow and cruel.

"Am I?"

"Yup."

"Naaah. I've been testing."

You blink. "Testing."

"Mhm," he confirms. Another slap to your ass, gentler this time. Palming over the skin after. "And now I know."

You suck in a breath. "How would you know what turns me on?"

He huffs a laugh—mean, hot, unbothered.

"Because you always mouth off about the shit that gets you going."

Your heart stutters. He keeps going.

"Too embarrassed to just let yourself enjoy it, so you talk shit. Every single time."

"Fuck off," you hiss.

He smirks again, hands dragging your hips back slightly. "Nah. You're not fooling anyone, Pix."

"Eat shit," you bite out, but your voice betrays you—tight, breathy. Fucked.

He groans, head tilting back for a second like he can't believe how good he has it.

"You're so full of it."

You scowl over your shoulder.

He slaps your ass again. Just to punctuate it.

"This," he says, palm dragging slow over the sting he just left, "is textbook Phoenix behavior."

"Fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"What I just said. You always talk shit about what you like." He thrusts again, not deep—just enough to feel like a warning. "First it was the dirty talk. Remember?"

You roll your eyes. "Barely."

"Oh, you remember." His voice drops. "Because you called it cringey, and five minutes later you were soaking my jeans."

You grit your teeth.

"And then you rode me," he continues, like he's delivering an airtight closing argument. "Said 'do you want me to ride you?' all breathy. Like you hadn't spent days pretending you were above it."

You don't reply.

He leans in, hips pressing closer, cock buried deep and still not moving.

"And yesterday?"

You clench without meaning to.

"Yeah," he laughs softly. "Yesterday. You wouldn't even look at me when you were sucking me off. Acted all bratty and 'ugh I hate eye contact,' and now tonight you were pulling my hair back just to see my face."

You did do that.

"And now it's the spanking," he says, rocking his hips slow. "Bitching about it."

Another smack, firm and deliberate.

"But you just clenched around me. Again."

You groan into your arm. "You're fucking exhausting."

He grins against your shoulder. "You're fucking lying."

You shake your head. "You're not right."

He pulls back a little, just enough to move again. One clean stroke, all the way out and back in with a grunt.

Then—

"You're wet as fuck."

And you are. You feel it. Feel him glide. Feel the mess. Feel how your body wants him deep, no matter what your mouth says.

"You keep acting like you're not into it," he murmurs, breath hot. "Like you don't love being talked to like this. Touched like this."

"Shut up," you whimper, because you don't want to admit it. You don't want him to be right.

But he already is.

"You act like it's for me," he mutters. "Like I'm the one getting off on it."

And he is. Of course he is.

But so are you.

"You keep lying like it's gonna protect you," he says. "But your body gives you away every time."

He's still going.

Deep now.

Fast.

No hesitation, no mercy—just relentless drive, hips snapping into yours, angle brutal and right. Every time he hits bottom it knocks a broken little moan out of you. Loud. Unfiltered. Fucking real.

And still—still—he doesn't shut up.

"You've convinced yourself it's all for me. That you don't enjoy it. Can't. Won't."

Your jaw clenches.

"You can't let yourself," he continues, thrusting hard enough to slap skin. "Because you need to stay in control. Need to be good. Do it right."

His hand grips your hip tighter, pulling you back to meet every thrust. Your ass bounces off him with every slam, lewd and hot and loud.

"You need to know I like it," he says, "so you can file it under 'doing well,' and that's how you let yourself feel good."

You want to argue. You really do.

But you can't.

You're moaning too loud.

"You don't even stop to ask what you like," he growls, eyes locked on where you're joined. "But I'll tell you."

Smack.

"You like this position."

Smack.

"You like it raw. Hard. Deep."

You whimper.

"You like when I spank you," he murmurs, biting his lip, thrusts picking up even more.

"Shut up," you hiss. "Shut up, shut up—"

But it's useless.

You're already flushed down to your chest. Already arching into every thrust. Already leaking down your thighs.

Your hands grip the counter like a fucking lifeline—knuckles white, arms shaking.

He groans, hands adjusting—one on your waist, the other wrapping low across your belly to pull you into every stroke.

"It's okay, Nix," he says, voice rough but coaxing. "You don't have to say it."

He slams in harder, burying himself to the hilt, making your knees buckle on instinct.

"Just keep gripping the counter."

Your breath stutters.

"Don't let go if you like it."

You bite your lip.

"Don't say anything. Don't explain. Just grip."

You hesitate. One second. Maybe two.

And then—you do.

Fingers curl tighter around the countertop edge. You lock in. Anchor yourself.

Give it to him.

You don't say a word. But that grip? That's your answer. That's your yes.

He groans, hand dragging up your spine, palm flat between your shoulder blades like he wants to feel how it wrecked you.

"There she is," he whispers. "There's my good fucking girl."

That last comment—

There's my good fucking girl.

It does something. Snaps something in your spine. Or maybe your brain.

Because your cunt flutters around him hard, slick tightens, thighs tremble, and yeah, yeah you're closer. Closer than you should be. You were already there when he first slid in—already so worked up you could've finished in sixty seconds if he just shut the fuck up and focused.

But of course he didn't.

Of course he ran his mouth. Called you out. Read you like a book.

And now?

Now you're clenching around his cock like you're about to shatter, and he feels it.

You know he does.

Because he leans in, breath gone wrecked. Lip caught between his teeth.

"Hmm?" he pants. Thrusts harder, deeper. "What's that? You like when I call you that?"

Your jaw clenches. You want to scoff. Or deny it.

But your cunt clenches instead.

He feels it.

"Ohh fuck," he groans, like it hits his brainstem. "You do."

You turn your face into your arm, humiliated by your own goddamn response. But it's too late. He's already there—already winding it tighter.

"Let's see if you like it even more when I do this."

You blink. "What are you—"

He grabs your thigh.

Hooks it up onto the counter. Bends your leg at the knee beside your elbow, spreading you wider without warning. Opening you up. Letting him deepen.

And he does.

Slams into you again with the new angle, and fuck—it hits different. Hits deep. Your whole body pitches forward with the force, mouth open on a sharp moan you can't swallow.

Then—his hand.

His fingers find your clit. Circle it once, slow and effective.

And you whimper.

It's high-pitched. Unintended. Undignified.

You want to vanish.

But then he's right behind your ear again, voice slurred and drunk on it.

"Gonna cum for me, angel?"

Your body jolts.

Because yeah. Yeah, you are, especially now that he's got your leg hooked, your pussy stuffed, your clit being worked with just enough pressure to make you lose it.

He feels your thighs twitch.

"Do it," he breathes, cock dragging thick inside you, fingers pressing just right. "Come on, let me feel it. I'm close too. Gimme it, Pix."

And your body obeys.

It rolls over you in one hard pulse—core tightening, vision blanking, thighs squeezing in and failing to stay strong.

Your moan punches out of your chest, loud and cracked, hips grinding back into his like you need more even as you're falling apart.

"Ohhhh my god, fuck yes—fuck, yes, Nix, fuckkkk."

He keeps fucking through it. Doesn't stop. Lets your pussy spasm around him, wet and squeezing and pulling him deeper as you ride it out. You whimper, already too sensitive, hips twitching, but he's not done.

Because he's laughing now.

Not mocking. Not cruel.

Just that fucked-out little giggle he always gets when he's high on it. Like your orgasm lit him up from the inside.

"Jesus—oh my god—holy shit," he's muttering, still fucking you, little messy stutters in his rhythm now. "You feel so fucking good when you cum, I swear—fuck."

He moans again—short and desperate and real—and you feel it in the way his thrusts go uneven.

"Where—where do you want it?" he gasps. "Fuck—I'm gonna—I'm so close, where do I—"

"Ass," you croak, head low, voice barely there.

That's all he needs.

He pulls out instantly, like he's yanking a ripcord.

You whimper at the loss but then you feel his hand—fast and rough—working himself over the curve of your ass.

"Oh fuck—oh god, yeah, look at this gorgeous ass—fuckfuckfuck—"

And then he's cumming.

Thick, hot ropes spilling over your skin as he pants and jerks through it, one hand steadying himself on your back, the other stroking through every twitch of his cock like he's trying to squeeze out every drop just to paint you.

"Shit," he gasps, hips still flexing forward. "Fucking hell, Phoenix."

You don't move.

You just breathe. Still shaking. Still clenched. Still wrecked.

There's cum on your skin, sweat between your shoulder blades, and your thighs feel like they've forgotten how to exist—and somehow, you still feel good.

Too good.

And a little fucked up about how good.

But you'll deal with that later.

Chapter 26: 26 | “pumpkin & phoenix”

Summary:


"Caring for someone means learning the language of their damage—understanding that premium cat food isn't about the cat, that yellow post-it notes carry more weight than dissertations, and that watching someone prepare for a date feels different when you can taste their name on your tongue.."

Notes:

This chapter is… layered. Y/N thinks she's being a good wingwoman, helping Tessa navigate her crush on Jungkook while simultaneously offering herself as relationship advice because, hey, she knows him well enough, right? Except here's the thing: she doesn't. Not really. She knows how he tastes at 3 AM and which buttons to push to start an argument, but she has no idea what his career aspirations are. Tessa does. Tessa knows he wants to make documentaries, that he's drawn to raw, unflinching perspectives. The disconnect is brutal, and it's supposed to be. Because this is what happens when you build intimacy through conflict and sex instead of conversation—you end up knowing someone's scent better than their dreams. And the tragedy? Y/N realizes this while actively pushing him toward someone who might actually be good for him. Because despite all, she genuinely believes Tessa would be better for Jungkook than whatever chaotic thing they have going on. That's growth, by the way. Painful, selfless growth that nobody asked for.

The Taehyung section serves multiple purposes here—it shows us Griffin's backstory (and by extension, Jungkook's recent trauma), establishes Taehyung as more than just an antagonist, and demonstrates how care shows up in unexpected ways. Taehyung memorizing ingredient lists, spending fifty dollars on cat food, driving across the city—these aren't grand gestures. They're quiet acts of love disguised as irritation. Then the yellow post-it note is deliberate emotional currency. Jungkook doesn't do gratitude—we've established this. But he left her a note. Three lines acknowledging that she did something that mattered, and more importantly, that she didn't complain about doing it. For someone who shows love through arguing and control, accepting help gracefully is character development. For someone who typically deflects appreciation with sarcasm, expressing genuine thanks is vulnerability. And Y/N is weirded out because it's not like him to write it. That's why she keeps it, why she stares at it, why it makes her chest feel weird. The hair, though. Jesus, the hair. Y/N noticing immediately that he got it cut and styled, recognizing that this is effort for a date, understanding that he's taking her advice about Tessa seriously—it's the moment everything becomes real. He's actually going to try with someone else. And her reaction? Have fun dissecting. <3

Chapter Text

17th of September and auburn blinds you before anything else registers.

Not because of the proximity of autumn or its fallen leaves.

No—it's her hair, catching light like a match struck against the earth-toned interior. Your eyes squint on instinct, brain struggling to recalibrate from the drab Tuesday afternoon gray outside to this walking sunset sitting at a window table.

God, she's really pretty. Sickeningly pretty. The kind of pretty that makes strangers trip over sidewalk cracks and professors forget midway through sentences. The kind that probably never had to develop a personality beyond 'pleasant' because nobody ever demanded more.

But you're not a stranger.

You're Tessa's—what exactly? Roommate-of-her-crush advisor? Dating consultant?

Whatever.

You're here now, walking through this brick-walled café with its mismatched mugs and chalkboard menu, feeling immediately underdressed next to her cheerful yellow cardigan that somehow makes her look like a fashion spread instead of Big Bird.

When she spots you, her entire face lights up. Like you're an old friend she hasn't seen in years instead of some girl she met at a party some weeks ago.

She waves enthusiastically, both hands fluttering above her head like little birds.

"Y/N! Over here!" she calls, as if there could possibly be any confusion about where she's sitting in this shoebox-sized café with exactly nine tables.

You muster a smile that feels stiff on your face and give a small wave back.

Social niceties. You can do this.

You've worked retail—this is practically the same thing, minus the name tag and forced corporate enthusiasm.

She's chosen a circular table with three stools: two facing each other, one laden with her bags—a cream-colored tote and what looks like a designer backpack. Smart. Tables are currency in Manhattan cafés, and she's staked her claim effectively.

You drop your own bag on the third stool and slide into your seat, immediately noticing how uncomfortable these wooden stools are.

Good for turnover, bad for lingering conversations about boys.

"Did you have any trouble finding the place?" Tessa asks, tucking a strand of that impossibly vibrant hair behind her ear. Her smile never falters, not even for a second. "I know it's a bit hidden."

"No, it was fine," you reply, pulling off your jacket. "The maps pin was accurate."

Your senses finally catch up to the rest of you, and that's when it hits—caramel.

Rich, buttery, warm caramel, like someone's making candy nearby.

You glance around the small space, searching for the source. The old man in the corner is eating what looks like standard breakfast fare. The barista is pouring coffee. Nobody has dessert.

It's when Tessa leans forward, menu in hand, throat exposed where her cardigan dips, that you realize.

It's her.

She smells like caramel.

Like freshly burnt sugar and cream.

Like someone bottled a confectionary and made it into a perfume that should be cloying but somehow... isn't.

Oh.

Oh.

So this is what Jungkook means about you smelling like vanilla? That it's just... there? A constant cloud of scent that follows you around whether you notice it or not?

Your brain unhelpfully supplies an image of him burying his face in your neck, inhaling deeply, mumbling something about how good you smell.

You shove it away immediately.

Not the time.

"So," Tessa says, passing you a laminated menu card, completely oblivious to your moment of revelation, "I wanted to bring you here because they have these cinnamon rolls that are literally to die for. Like, I'm not even kidding. They make them fresh every morning and they're bigger than your face."

You scan the menu, eyebrows lifting at the prices.

Manhattan. Of course.

"Cinnamon rolls before dinner?" you ask, but there's no judgment in your tone. You're genuinely curious about her sugar tolerance.

She laughs, the sound tinkling like little bells.

"I know, I know. So bad, right? But it's my Tuesday treat. After my Film Theory class with Professor Miller." She leans in conspiratorially. "He talks for three hours straight without breaks. I deserve something sweet after that torture."

"Fair enough," you concede. The coffee section catches your eye—they have a vanilla lavender latte that sounds interesting. "I might stick with caffeine, though. These prices are..."

You trail off, not wanting to sound cheap.

"Oh! I'm treating," Tessa says immediately, waving away your concern. "Consider it a thank you for meeting me."

You hesitate. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to." She smiles again, genuine warmth and no hint of calculation. "Please? Let me get you something sugary and completely unnecessary for a Tuesday afternoon."

Her earnestness makes it hard to say no; makes you understand, just a little, why Jungkook talks to her about Korean cinema instead of dismissing her outright.

"Alright," you relent. "But I'm getting the next one."

You scan the menu again.

"What's good here besides the cinnamon rolls?"

"Their chocolate croissants are amazing. And they do this honey lavender scone that's kind of life-changing." She points to a chalkboard near the counter that lists specials. "Oh! And they have seasonal stuff too. The pumpkin bread is really good."

The waiter approaches—a guy around your age with tired eyes and sleeve tattoos. Tessa smiles at him with the same genuine enthusiasm she's shown since you walked in.

"Hi! We'll have one cinnamon roll to share, and..." She looks at you expectantly.

"Just a black coffee for me, please," you decide, thinking ahead to dinner. "Might as well save room for actual food after this."

"And I'll have a tea," Tessa adds. "Thank you so much!"

The waiter nods and walks away without returning her megawatt smile.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out, and Tessa watches as a small smile tugs at your lips when you see the name on the screen.

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧: 𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔'𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕. 𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙸'𝚍 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚂𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚢. 𝚂𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖.

You hadn't expected him to text today.

Because that Sunday was... nice. Refreshing to have a conversation that didn't involve arguing about who used the last of the milk or whose turn it was to take out the garbage.

"Boyfriend?" Tessa asks, her eyes bright with interest.

You look up, feeling caught somehow. "What? Oh, no. Just this guy from my department."

"Just a guy who makes you smile like that?" She raises her eyebrows suggestively. "Come on, spill. I shared my crush with you."

You roll your eyes, holding back a small smile. "He's a TA for Modern lit. We had coffee on Sunday. It's nothing serious."

You tap out a quick reply.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕. 𝚒 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚘. 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎?

You're not usually this forward, but there's something about Jason that makes it easy.

He's... uncomplicated. Smart without being condescending. Attractive in that academic way, with his wire-rimmed glasses and the way he gestures when he's explaining something he's passionate about.

And he doesn't live with you. Huge bonus.

"Well, he makes you smile," Tessa observes. "That's a good start."

"Maybe. It's early days."

And he doesn't live with you. Huge bonus.

Your phone buzzes again almost immediately, but it's not Jason this time. The name on the screen makes you instinctively wrinkle your nose.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚙 𝚜𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚌𝚞𝚙

You stare at your phone, completely baffled.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝. 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 2 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 0 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚜

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚐𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒 𝚍𝚘 𝙽𝙾𝚃. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐…

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍

Your lips twitch with the beginning of a smile, which you quickly suppress. You're not amused. You're not.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚘. 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚏𝚕𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 4 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚊𝚝

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚘 𝚐𝚘 𝚋𝚞𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝. 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘. 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚍𝚞𝚎

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚡 🙄

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 ≠ 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚎𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚛

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎. 𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗𝚝 𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚊 𝚖𝚞𝚣𝚣𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚖. 𝚊 𝙼𝚄𝚉𝚉𝙻𝙴 𝚗𝚎𝚡. 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚗.

You bite your lip, trying not to laugh at the mental image of Griffin hissing at a vet while Jungkook hovers nearby like an anxious helicopter parent.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎. 𝚒'𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚓𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍. 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚌𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚟𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝚙𝚊𝚌𝚔. 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑. 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚊 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚜-𝚏𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎. 𝚙𝚕𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚜.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑?? 𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚘𝚝

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚝𝚏 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚕. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎. 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚘𝚢𝚊𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜?

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜? 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚡 𝚗𝚎𝚡. 𝚞 𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎

"Well, they look like they might get along," Tessa says, her voice pulling you back to the present.

You make a face that lies somewhere between confusion and disgust. "What?"

"They look like they might get along," she repeats, nodding toward your phone. "Your boyfriend and Jungkook."

You nearly choke on air. "Jason is absolutely not my boyfriend, and there's no universe where those two would get along. Trust me."

"Sometimes you just know, though," she says dreamily. "Like, I knew the moment I saw Jungkook in our Korean Cinema class. He was arguing with the professor about Park Chan-wook, and he was so passionate and sure of himself. I thought, 'That's someone who knows what he loves.'"

You nod, trying not to think about how well you know exactly what Jungkook loves—specifically, what he loves doing with his mouth, his hands, and other parts of his anatomy in the dark at 2 AM.

Not. The. Time.

"So I actually made him a playlist," Tessa says, leaning forward with such eagerness her cardigan sleeve nearly dips into her tea. "Is that too much? It's all Korean film scores. I included both the classics and some underground stuff too."

Your eyebrows shoot up of their own accord. A playlist. Not a sexy playlist, not a 'here's what I want to do to you' playlist, but an actual thoughtful collection based on his interests.

Huh.

"That's..." you search for the right word, one that doesn't sound patronizing, "...actually pretty cool."

"I know it's probably silly," she admits, tucking that vibrant hair behind her ear again. "But I remembered what you said about not coming on too strong, so I figured a playlist is casual enough? Like, 'Hey, thought you might appreciate these tracks for your next project' kind of thing."

"No, that's perfect," you nod, suddenly feeling like you're giving actual solid advice rather than the self-serving bullshit you worried you might spew. "It shows you pay attention without being creepy about it. Guys like that—they want to know you get their weird obsessions."

Her face brightens instantly. "Really? Oh thank god. I was worried I was being full cringe-mode."

"Nah. Just don't give him homework."

"Homework?"

"Like, 'You HAVE to listen to this right now and tell me what you think' energy. That's pressure. Just... offer it. Then let it go."

She nods seriously, like you're imparting the secrets of the universe rather than basic dating advice you cobbled together from years of watching your friends and their roommates crash and burn.

"That makes so much sense. No pressure. I can do that."

The waiter returns with your drinks and food, and holy shit. The cinnamon roll is dripping with sauce.

"See? Told you," Tessa says with a hint of pride as she watches your reaction. "Life-altering pastry incoming."

She cuts the roll in half—giving you a portion. You take a bite and nearly moan. It's obscenely good—warm, gooey, with the perfect balance of spice and sweetness.

"Okay, you win," you concede, mouth full. "This is fucking incredible."

She laughs at your reaction. "See? I told you! Worth saving a little room for dinner for, right?"

You nod, reaching for your coffee to wash down the sweetness.

"Jungkook would kill for this," you say without thinking. "He's got this whole baking thing going on."

"Jungkook bakes?" Tessa's eyes widen with interest.

Shit.

You didn't mean to reveal that.

It feels like.. tossing her a secret that doesn't belong to you—like you're giving away this whole dimension of him she hasn't seen yet.

"Sometimes," you say vaguely. "Just to unwind, I think."

She hums thoughtfully. "That makes sense. Creative types need outlets."

"So," you venture, curious despite yourself, "what got you into film anyway? You mentioned your dad was a cinematographer?"

Her smile shifts, softens at the edges.

"Yeah. He worked on indie projects mostly. Nothing you'd have heard of, but he was really talented." She traces the rim of her mug absently. "He had early onset Parkinson's. Had to stop when I was nine."

"That's rough," you say, meaning it.

She shrugs.

"It's okay. We watched movies together all the time after that. It was his way of still being connected to the industry, I think." The cloud passes quickly. "We started with all the classics—Hitchcock, Kubrick. But then he introduced me to international cinema, and that just... opened everything up."

You find yourself nodding, genuinely interested. "And that's how you got into Korean directors?"

"Exactly! Park Chan-wook was my gateway drug," she laughs. "My dad had this bootleg copy of Oldboy that blew my teenage mind. After that, I was hooked."

Huh... So her film knowledge isn't just a ploy to get into Jungkook's pants. She actually knows her shit.

Okay, well. It makes sense if she's in his cinema class or whatever.

That actually explains why they can talk about obscure directors without it being painfully forced.

"Has Jungkook mentioned what he wants to do? After graduation, I mean," she asks, wrapping her hands around her mug.

You pause, realizing with a jolt that you have absolutely no idea what Jungkook's career plans are. Not a clue.

You've never asked. He's never offered.

Somehow between the fighting and the fucking, the subject of his actual aspirations never came up.

"He hasn't talked about it much," you admit, trying not to sound as clueless as you feel. "He's in Film and Media Studies, so I assume it's... film related?"

Great. Super insightful commentary there. Real roommate-of-the-year material.

Tessa nods thoughtfully.

"He mentioned documentary work when we were discussing Herzog. I think he's drawn to that style—raw, unflinching." She smiles. "He has a really distinct perspective. I've seen some of his student projects online. He's got this way of framing things that's just... different."

Oh.

So he's shown her his work. And talked about his future. And compared himself to someone called Herzog, who you're going to Google the second you leave this café.

How… weird?

You've seen Jungkook naked. You've made him cum. You've fought over the remote and the last yogurt and which way the toilet paper should hang.

But you don't know a thing about his actual dreams.

"Huh. That tracks," you say, trying to sound like you're not learning about your roommate's entire career trajectory from a near-stranger. "He does have a way of looking at things differently."

This is surreal. You're discussing Jungkook's artistic vision with a girl who somehow knows more about his life goals than you do, despite the fact that his tongue was literally inside you less than 24 hours ago.

"You know," you say, shifting into advice mode to cover the bizarre disconnect, "I think Jungkook is going through some stuff right now."

Her eyebrows lift. "Oh?"

"Nothing serious," you backpedal, suddenly aware that you don't actually know what his 'stuff' even is.

You've barely gotten anything out of Yoongi—just vague warnings about his ex and the fact that he has 'damage.' You're not about to play telephone with info you don't have.

"Just... life. College. The usual mess."

Tessa's expression softens. "I get that. We're all kind of a mess at this age, aren't we? Figuring things out."

"Exactly. So just... be patient, I guess?" You fiddle with your napkin, feeling like a fraud. "Take it slow."

"I can do slow," she assures you, breaking off a piece of her cinnamon roll. Her fingers come away sticky with frosting. "No rush, right? We're young."

As you watch her lick frosting from her fingertips—completely unselfconscious, totally without guile—you find yourself thinking, objectively, that maybe this wouldn't be the worst thing for Jungkook.

Tessa—she seems normal. Steady. Uncomplicated. Like she probably doesn't start flour fights at 3 AM or call him names when she wants to fuck him.

Your phone buzzes again. You glance down to see another message from Jason.

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧: 𝙸𝚗 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝, 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗, 𝙸'𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚋 𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗?

You stare at the text, a small flutter of anticipation stirring in your chest… Because in all honesty, it's been a while since you've been genuinely interested in someone.

And it's so refreshing; Jason's straightforward approach, his evident interest in your mind rather than just what you look like in low lighting.

He'd spent most of the coffee date carefully deconstructing your analysis of 'Lady Lazarus' with the kind of respectful engagement that made you feel genuinely heard.

And fine, yes, he's cute too—in that scholarly way that makes you think of well-worn books and rainy afternoons. Dark hair that falls across his forehead when he's making a point. Green eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses. A smile that transforms his serious face into something almost boyish.

"Wow, multiple texts from this not-boyfriend," Tessa teases, playfully tilting her head to try to see your screen. "He must really like you."

"We just had a good conversation," you say, trying to sound casual despite the little smile that won't quite leave your face. "He's easy to talk to."

"Sometimes that's all it takes," she says. "Chemistry doesn't have to be complicated."

You snort at that.

If only she knew how complicated chemistry could get.

Your brain unhelpfully flashes to Jungkook pressing you against the kitchen counter at 3 AM, his breath hot against your neck as he—

Nope. Not going there.

You check your watch, realizing that between the conversation and the sugar, more time has passed than you realized.

"We should probably head out soon," you say, taking one last sip of your coffee. "I've got class at five."

"Oh! Let me just get the check," Tessa says, waving to the waiter.

True to her word, Tessa insists on paying despite your halfhearted protests.

"Next time it's on me," you say, surprised to realize you actually mean it.

She's... nice. Not in the bland, beige way that usually feels fake, but in a way that's genuine without being exhausting.

"Deal," she agrees brightly, gathering her bags. "Maybe we could catch a film? There's a Wong Kar-wai retrospective at the Angelika next month."

"Sure."

You have absolutely no idea who Wong Kar-wai is, but whatever. Maybe you'll learn something.

You both push through the café's door into the cool afternoon air, still chatting about pastries and also about whether it's wrong to have dessert before lunch, when you spot him halfway down the block.

Taehyung.

He's leaning against the brick wall of a bookstore, scrolling on his phone, looking exactly like the pretentious art boy he is in an oversized coat.

Beside him stands a slender woman with sleek black hair cut in a sharp bob, dressed in an impeccable charcoal pantsuit. Even from this distance, everything about her screams 'I could destroy your credit score with a phone call.'

Your body reacts before your brain can catch up—you duck behind Tessa's slightly taller frame, using her as a human shield.

"What—?" she starts, confused by your sudden movement.

"Shh!" you hiss. "Don't look now, but Taehyung's right there."

But Tessa, beautiful, oblivious Tessa, immediately whips her head around.

"Where?"

"Oh my god, stop being so obvious," you groan, trying to melt further into her shadow.

It's too late. The woman with Taehyung has spotted Tessa and her face lights up with recognition.

"Tess!" she calls out, voice unexpectedly warm for someone who looks like she could fire you with a single raised eyebrow.

Tessa gasps softly.

"Oh! Iri!" She waves enthusiastically, grabbing your wrist with her other hand and effectively dragging you out of hiding. "Come on, I want you to meet her!"

"Wait, I don't think—" you start, but Tessa's already pulling you forward, her grip surprisingly strong for someone who looks like she might blow away in a strong wind.

As you're tugged toward the couple, you catch Taehyung's expression shifting from neutral to ice-cold recognition. His eyes narrow slightly as they lock onto you, lips pressing into a thin line.

The feeling is entirely mutual. Every interaction you've had with him has been loaded with thinly veiled contempt—like he's perpetually scanning your radioactive wasteland of a soul and finding you wanting.

And now you're being dragged toward him by a human ray of sunshine who appears to be friends with his girlfriend.

Perfect. Just perfect.

You freeze like prey, cowering behind Tessa with a grimace so pained it probably looks like you're passing a kidney stone. There's a car idling at the curb just a few feet away.

Could you make a run for it? Throw yourself in front of it? Anything would be better than dealing with Taehyung's judgmental bullshit right now.

But then—

"Oh, you're Jungkook's roommate, right? Y/N?"

Your head snaps toward the voice so fast you nearly give yourself whiplash.

The woman—Iri—is staring directly at you with the bluest eyes you've ever seen in your life. Like, illegally blue. Contact lenses blue. Except they're obviously real and what the fuck, universe? Some people get everything.

She's older than your group by maybe six or seven years, which suddenly makes sense.

Judge. Right. Jungkook mentioned that.

"Uh, yeah, that's me," you manage to say, feeling weirdly caught out, like you've been busted trespassing.

Taehyung makes a sound in the back of his throat—a scoff that says more than a five-paragraph essay about how unimpressed he is by your continued existence.

"I'm Irika, but everyone just calls me Iri," she says, extending a perfectly manicured hand. Her nails are a deep wine red, and you suddenly feel self-conscious about your own chipped polish. "Nice to meet you."

You grab her hand, feeling bizarrely intimidated. Her grip is firm, confident—the handshake of someone who's never questioned her right to take up space in a room.

Then she smiles, and her entire demeanor shifts. Where her appearance suggested total condescension and boardroom intimidation, her smile radiates warmth. It crinkles the corners of her eyes and transforms her face from intimidating perfection to approachable beauty.

Behind her, Taehyung is mouthing words at you with all the subtlety of a neon sign: 'What are you doing here?!'

You narrow your eyes, mouthing back: 'That's what I should be asking!'

His eyes dart to Tessa, who's chattering excitedly with Iri about some exhibition they both apparently went to last month, then back to you with clear accusation: 'Why are you with the ginger girl from his party?'

You roll your eyes so hard it's a miracle they don't get stuck in the back of your skull. You mouth back: 'Her name is Tessa, dickasso, and by the way, she seems well acquainted with YOUR girlfriend.'

Taehyung's left eye twitches. Actually twitches.

You'd laugh if you weren't busy trying to figure out how to extricate yourself from this social nightmare.

"—and Y/N's been so sweet," Tessa is saying, looping her arm through yours like you're longtime friends. "She's been giving me advice on how to—"

Your stomach drops.

Oh god. Oh no. She wouldn't.

"—navigate the whole NYU film department scene," Tessa finishes smoothly. "Since she's close with Jungkook and all."

Oh. Crisis averted.

Wait—close with Jungkook? Is that what she thinks? That the two of you are, what, besties? Does regularly calling someone an insufferable asshat while they bend you over kitchen counters count as 'close'?

Taehyung looks like he just swallowed a lemon.

Whole.

"Close," he repeats flatly. "With Jungkook."

"Well, they live together," Tessa says, all wide-eyed innocence. "They must get along."

Taehyung's eyes meet yours in what might be the first moment of genuine connection you've ever shared: mutual horror at the absolute absurdity of that statement.

"Actually," you start, ready to clarify just how not-close you and Jungkook are on a daily basis, but Iri cuts in.

"How wonderful to finally meet one of Jungkook's roommates," she says, her smile warm and genuine. "Taehyung mentions him all the time, but we haven't had a proper introduction yet."

You blink, momentarily thrown. "You... haven't met Jungkook?"

"Schedules," Taehyung answers curtly. "Busy."

Iri laughs, the sound rich and melodic.

"What he means is, between my court schedule and his art exhibitions, we barely find time for each other, let alone proper friend introductions." She glances at her watch—a sleek, expensive-looking thing that probably costs more than your monthly rent. "Speaking of which, I really need to get going soon. I have closing arguments in forty minutes in lower Manhattan."

"Oh!" Tessa exclaims, perking up like she just remembered something. "That's actually not far from where I need to be. I've got to return some books at the NYU library before they close."

"You're heading downtown too?" Iri asks. "We can walk together."

"Perfect!" Tessa smiles, then her eyes light up with genuine excitement. "Oh, I completely forgot to mention—my grandparents are going to be in Europe over Halloween, and they said I could use their place in Greenwich Village for a party."

Your ears perk up at 'Greenwich Village', because woah, okay. That explains the designer backpack and expensive cardigan—those aren't just splurges, they're everyday basics for someone with grandparents who casually own real estate in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in Manhattan.

"It's this amazing brownstone with the original moldings and a rooftop garden," she continues, her enthusiasm building. "I'm thinking of inviting our whole film cohort, plus some people from literature and maybe the other arts programs. You know how everyone mingles anyway."

She turns to you and Iri with equal enthusiasm.

"You should both come! And bring whoever you want—Taehyung, of course," she nods to Iri, "and Y/N, you should bring that guy you were texting! And Jungkook too, of course. I'll probably tell people to bring friends from their programs too—I love when the creative departments mix."

Your stomach tightens at the thought of Jason and Jungkook in the same room.

Not that it matters. It's not like you and Jungkook are… anything. You're just roommates who occasionally fuck. No reason for any weirdness.

Right?

"That sounds wonderful," Iri says, checking her watch again. "But I really do need to get going if I'm going to make it to court on time."

"I'll walk with you," Tessa offers, gathering her bags. "It's basically on my way to the library."

"Let me drive you," Taehyung says to Iri, his voice flat but insistent; not sweet or puppy-like—but almost demanding, like he's telling rather than asking.

Iri laughs and pats his arm firmly. "It's a ten-minute walk, pumpkin. The fresh air will help clear my head before court."

Pumpkin.

PUMPKIN.

P U M P K I N.

You struggle to keep your face neutral.

This intimidating legal powerhouse just called the human embodiment of artistic disdain 'pumpkin,' and the strangest part is he doesn't even seem bothered by it.

"Fine," Taehyung says, the word clipped. "Call me after."

"I will," Iri promises, then turns to you with that warm smile that somehow makes you feel both welcomed and thoroughly examined. "It was lovely to meet you, Y/N. I hope to see you at Halloween."

"Yeah, um, nice to meet you too," you manage, feeling bizarrely like you've just had a job interview.

"Y/N, I'll text you the details!" Tessa calls over her shoulder as she and Iri start walking away, already deep in conversation about something involving an art exhibition.

And just like that, you're left alone with Taehyung.

The silence stretches between you, heavy and thoroughly uncomfortable.

You've never actually been alone with him before. There's always been a Jungkook or a Yoongi or a crowd of people as a buffer.

A tiny, undignified snort escapes you before you can stop it.

"What?" Taehyung snaps, his eyes narrowing to slits.

"Nothing," you say, biting back a smile. "Just… 'pumpkin'?"

His glare could wither plants. "What about it, phoenix?"

You roll your eyes at the obvious mockery.

"Original," you mutter.

Your phone buzzes, offering a blessed distraction from this awkward standoff. You glance down to see a text from Jungkook.

𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚋𝚝𝚠 𝚟 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚒 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚐𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗'𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍. 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

Taehyung's gaze flicks to your phone, then back to your face. "That's Jungkook."

It's not a question. It's a statement.

You blink. "How did you—"

"Just text him back that we're not a fucking delivery service," Taehyung cuts you off, already turning away. "I have an installation to finish."

You stare at his retreating back for a second before finding your voice. "Wait, what? How did you know it was about cat food?"

Taehyung stops, shoulders stiff.

"Because Griffin's out of food and Jungkook's too busy with whatever the fuck he's doing to get it himself." He turns back to you with a scowl. "So now I'm supposed to drop everything and take you shopping."

"I didn't ask for a babysitter," you snap back. "I can buy cat food by myself."

Taehyung actually laughs—a short, harsh sound with zero humor.

"Right. And then Griffin will get sick because you bought whatever garbage was on sale, and Jungkook will be up all night with him, and then he'll miss his deadline, and then—" He cuts himself off, jaw tight. "Whatever. It's fine. I'll just fix everything. It’s my thing."

"It's fucking cat food," you repeat slowly, like you're explaining to a toddler. "I'll just get the expensive brand. Problem solved."

"It's not that simple," Taehyung growls, actually taking a step toward you. "He needs the salmon formula, not the chicken. And it has to be mixed with the right wet food. And it can't be the chunks in gravy, because those make him sick."

You stare at him, momentarily speechless. "How do you know all this?"

He scoffs. "Some of us actually listen when our friends talk."

"I listen," you protest, feeling oddly defensive.

"Clearly," he says dryly, then sighs like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. "Look, my car's parked a couple blocks away. We're going to the pet store, getting the right food, and then I'm dropping you off so I can get back to my actual life."

You're about to argue—about to tell him you're perfectly capable of handling this on your own—but his expression stops you.

There's something in his eyes that isn't just annoyance. It's concern. Genuine concern.

For Jungkook? For Griffin? You can't quite tell, but it's enough to make you hold your tongue.

"Fine," you mutter, falling into step beside him. "But I'm picking the music."

"Absolutely not," Taehyung replies without missing a beat.

As you follow him down the street, you can't help but wonder what strange alternate universe you've stumbled into. One where you're willingly spending time with Taehyung, of all people, on a mission to buy premium cat food for Griffin.

The things you do for… well, not for Jungkook. Definitely not for him. For the cat. Poor innocent Griffin doesn't deserve to suffer just because his owner is an annoying jackass who can't do his own errands.

Right. That's definitely it.

Who knew cats could eat better than college students?

That much is clear from the vast selection of gourmet pet food spread before you like some kind of feline fine dining expo. You're pretty sure premium carrots aren't even a thing for humans, but here's Griffin apparently living his best organic, grain-free, omega-3 enriched life.

"This is insane," you mutter, scanning the wall of options that stretches from floor to ceiling. "There's literally a 'wild-caught salmon pâté with organic sweet potato.' What's next, a wine pairing?"

Taehyung doesn't laugh. Doesn't even crack a smile. He's studying the shelves with the kind of intensity usually reserved for defusing bombs or choosing a life partner.

"Griffin's stomach is sensitive," he says, reaching for a specific blue and silver can like he's done this a thousand times before. "Most cats can handle the cheap stuff. He can't."

"Why not? And how would you even know a cat's stomach sensitivity?" You scoff, eyeing the variety. "Is there a chart or something?"

"Experience," is all he says, and you watch him check the expiration date on the can.

"How sensitive are we talking? Like, lactose intolerant sensitive, or 'one wrong ingredient and we're at the emergency vet at 3 AM' sensitive?"

Taehyung's jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. "The second one."

Oh.

That's... not what you expected.

You'd figured Griffin was just a spoiled house cat with expensive taste, not an actual medical case. The way Taehyung handles the cans—checking dates, reading ingredients lists—suddenly makes a lot more sense.

"Since when?" you ask, because subtlety has never been your strong suit.

"Since I've known him." Taehyung places six cans in the basket with the kind of care people use for glass ornaments. "Some cats are just... fragile."

There's something in the way he says 'fragile' that makes you think he's not just talking about digestive issues.

You file that away for later, watching as he moves to the dry food section like he's mapped this store in his sleep.

"So you've been buying Griffin's food for a while?"

"When needed." His answer is clipped, but not hostile. More like he's carefully measuring how much information to give you.

You pick up one of the bags he's examining—some fancy grain-free salmon formula that costs more than your weekly grocery budget.

"Jesus. Forty-eight dollars for cat food?"

"Griffin's worth it."

The simplicity of that statement catches you off guard. No justification, no explanation. Just flat certainty that this orange furball deserves the best, regardless of cost.

"You really care about him," you observe, and it comes out less sarcastic than you intended.

Taehyung's hands still on the bag he's holding. For a moment, you think he might actually open up, might explain why he's willing to spend nearly fifty dollars on cat food for an animal that isn't even his.

Instead, he hefts the bag into the cart. "Jungkook cares about him. So I care about him."

It's such a simple equation, but there's something almost fierce in the way he says it. Like Griffin's wellbeing is non-negotiable, not because of the cat himself, but because of what the cat means to Jungkook.

You're quiet for a moment, processing this. In all your observations of Jungkook—and fuck, you've been doing a lot of observing lately—you've never seen him be particularly anxious about Griffin. If anything, the cat seems like a source of comfort for him. All those late nights when you hear soft murmuring from Jungkook's room, you'd assumed he was on the phone or talking to himself.

Now you're wondering if he was talking to Griffin.

"Griffin's been through a lot," you say as Taehyung leads you toward the checkout.

"What makes you say that?"

"The way you're acting like he's made of glass. Either he's the most high-maintenance cat alive, or something happened to make him that way."

Taehyung stops walking entirely, turning to face you with an expression that's part surprise, part calculation, looking as if he's recalibrating his assessment of your intelligence.

"Griffin's sensitive to... transitions. New places, new people. Takes him a while to trust."

"Transitions?"

Taehyung's jaw tightens almost imperceptibly, like he said more than he meant to.

"Yeah. Well." He turns back to the shelves, suddenly very interested in reading ingredient labels. "Jungkook lived in my apartment for the last few months before moving into the new place with Yoongi. And... you."

Wait. What?

Your brain takes a second to process this information. Jungkook lived with Taehyung? Recently? As in, before your apartment?

"He lived with you?"

"Yeah." Taehyung's answer makes him sound like he's already regretting bringing it up. "Griffin didn't handle the transition well. Got sick. A lot."

This is news to you. Jungkook has never mentioned living anywhere else recently. You'd just assumed he'd been apartment shopping with Yoongi, found your building, signed the lease. Normal roommate progression.

But apparently there's a whole chapter of Jungkook's recent history you know nothing about. A chapter that involved Taehyung's couch and a sick cat and circumstances you're definitely not getting the full story on.

"Why did he need a place to stay?"

The question comes out before you can stop it, and immediately you wish you could take it back.

But it's been sitting in your chest since Taehyung mentioned it, this knowledge that there are pieces of Jungkook's life you don't understand.

Taehyung looks at you like you just asked him to solve theoretical physics. "What is this, an interrogation?"

"Just curious."

"Well, don't be."

The checkout line is mercifully short, but as you're standing there watching Taehyung count out exact change for Griffin's gourmet feast, that conversation keeps replaying in your head.

There's something he's not telling you—something about why Jungkook needed a place to crash, why Griffin got sick, why Taehyung looks like he wishes he could take back every word he just said.

"Why do you hate me?" you ask as the cashier—a teenager with multiple facial piercings who looks like she'd rather be literally anywhere else—scans the items with the enthusiasm of someone who's given up on life.

Taehyung blinks, clearly not expecting such a direct question. "I don't hate you."

"Right. You just think I'm a walking disaster who's going to ruin Jungkook's life somehow."

"That's not—" He stops, jaw working like he's chewing on words he doesn't want to say. "I don't hate you. I just don't trust new things."

"Things?"

"Okay, people who show up in Jungkook's life. They tend to complicate things."

History in that statement. Recent history, judging by the way Taehyung's hands tighten on his wallet.

"And what exactly do you think I'm going to complicate?" you ask, because apparently you're committed to this conversation now.

"Everything." He hands the cashier exact change, dismissing the question like it's obvious. "You live with him. You're in his space every day. That's... a lot of potential for things to go wrong."

"I'm not planning to burn the apartment down."

"People never plan to fuck up," Taehyung replies, pocketing his receipt. "They just do."

The weight of that statement settles over you as you leave the store, Taehyung carrying the bag of expensive cat food like it contains precious artifacts.

You want to ask what he means—who fucked up, how, when—but you can tell the window for personal confessions has firmly closed.

Still, as you walk toward his car, you find yourself thinking about Griffin. About sensitive stomachs and transition anxiety and the way Taehyung handles those cans like they're made of crystal.

"How long did he live with you?" you ask as Taehyung unlocks his car—a decent Mercedes that's somehow perfectly clean inside.

Taehyung pauses with his hand on the door handle, and you can practically see him weighing how much to tell you.

"Few months," he says finally, which feels deliberately vague.

"Must have been cramped."

"He needed a place." The answer comes out defensive, like you've questioned his motives. "He slept on my couch. Griffin too. Neither of them was supposed to be there, technically."

You want to ask more—why Jungkook needed a place to stay, why it was only a few months, what happened before—but something in Taehyung's posture warns you off.

"Must have been rough," you say instead. "For Griffin, I mean. All that change."

"Griffin was sick a lot at first. Stress, probably. New environment, new routine. Jungkook barely slept for the first month, just watching him."

The image that creates—Jungkook curled up on Taehyung's couch, probably too tall for it, keeping vigil over a cat who was struggling to adjust to yet another upheaval—does something strange to your chest.

"Is that why he's so particular about Griffin's food?"

Taehyung starts the car before answering.

"Griffin almost died that first month. Something he ate didn't agree with him, and by the time we got him to the emergency vet, he was..." He trails off, jaw tight. "Jungkook didn't leave the vet's office for three days. Slept in the waiting room, refused to go home. The vet finally had to give him a cot in the back room just so he'd stop scaring the other pet owners."

Jesus. No wonder Jungkook is weird about Griffin's food. No wonder Taehyung memorized ingredient lists and expiration dates.

"That's intense."

"Jungkook was... not okay." Taehyung's voice is neutral, but there's an undercurrent of something that might be residual anxiety. "Griffin was all he had left from... before. Losing him would have been..."

He doesn't finish the sentence, but he doesn't need to. You can fill in the blanks easily enough.

Griffin wasn't just a pet to Jungkook—he was a lifeline, a connection to some version of his life that had been torn apart.

Before what, though? Before living with Taehyung? Before the apartment with you and Yoongi?

Mia?

The car ride falls into contemplative silence as you navigate downtown traffic. You find yourself watching Taehyung's profile, noting the way his hands grip the steering wheel a little too tightly whenever you hit a pothole that might jostle Griffin's precious food.

"Why do you care so much?" you ask as he pulls up outside your building. "I mean, Griffin's not even yours."

For a moment, you think he's going to give you another non-answer, another deflection.

But then he doesn't.

"Have you ever watched someone you care about almost lose the only good thing in their life?"

The question catches you off guard, because his voice now is unguarded in a way that makes you think this isn't really about Griffin at all.

"No."

"Then you don't get it." He reaches into the backseat for the cat food. "Griffin's not just a cat to Jungkook. He's proof that something good can survive, even when everything else goes to shit."

Taehyung seems to realize he's said too much, because he's suddenly all business again, checking his watch and muttering about his installation deadline.

But as you take the bag of overpriced cat food from him, you find yourself looking at it differently.

Not as an indulgence or a sign of Jungkook's particular tastes, but as evidence of care.

Of vigilance.

Of someone who's learned that the things you love can be fragile, and protecting them requires constant attention to details that might seem insignificant to everyone else.

Taehyung leaves promptly and without ceremony, like this conversation never happened.

But as his car pulls away from the curb, you're left standing on the sidewalk with more questions than answers.

You climb the stairs to your apartment slowly, thinking about scared cats and sleepless nights and the kind of love that shows up in ingredient lists and expiration dates.

Thinking about Jungkook at whatever age he was when his life went to shit, camping out in a vet's waiting room because the idea of losing Griffin was unthinkable.

When you unlock the apartment door, the first thing you see is Griffin himself, perched on the back of the couch like an orange sentinel, watching the door with the kind of focused attention that suggests he's been waiting for exactly this moment.

"Hey, buddy," you say, holding up the bag. "Brought you the good stuff."

Griffin's tail twitches once—what might be acknowledgment, or might just be a coincidence. But as you head toward the kitchen to unpack his expensive feast, you swear he follows you with his eyes.

Like he knows, the way cats sometimes do, that some things are worth protecting at any cost.

You're halfway through unpacking the cans when you spot it. A small yellow square stuck to the side of the coffee maker, folded once. Your name—well, not your actual name, because when has Jungkook ever used that—written in his messy handwriting across the front.

Phoenix.

You pause, can of overpriced salmon pâté still in your hand.

It's not unusual for you and your roommates to leave notes for each other. Yoongi's always sticking reminders on the fridge about bills or cleaning schedules. You've left your fair share of passive-aggressive observations about whose turn it is to buy toilet paper.

But this feels… different?

You unfold it, and there's more of his chicken scratch inside:

Thanks for getting Griffin's food. Tae said you didn't complain (much). Means something.

That's it. No signature, no additional commentary. Just acknowledgment that you did something for Griffin, and apparently didn't throw a massive fit about it in the process.

Which. Okay. Fair enough. You could have complained. A lot. About the prices and the specific requirements and the way Taehyung treated Griffin's dietary needs like nuclear launch codes.

But you didn't.

You stare at the note for longer than is probably normal, trying to figure out why it's making your chest feel weird.

It's just basic politeness, right? Thanking someone for doing a favor. Nothing groundbreaking about that.

Except Jungkook doesn't usually do basic politeness.

He does sarcasm and provocation and those annoying little smirks that make you want to either hit him or climb him like a tree. He doesn't do... gratitude.

'Means something'—yeah okay, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

You're still puzzling over it when you hear keys in the front door. Griffin immediately perks up, his whole body shifting toward the sound like a furry radar system locking onto a target.

"Griffin?" Jungkook's voice carries from the entryway, and the cat launches himself off the couch like he's been shot from a cannon. "Hey, buddy. Miss me?"

There's the sound of rustling plastic bags and Griffin's purr motor starting up at maximum volume. You quickly stuff the yellow note into your pocket and continue unpacking cat food like that's definitely what you've been doing this entire time.

Not overthinking a three-line note. Definitely not.

"Nix?"

His voice is closer now, and when you glance up, he's standing in the kitchen doorway with grocery bags in his hands and—

Oh.

Oh shit.

His hair. His hair is different. Still dark, still long enough to flop into his eyes when he moves, but... trimmed. Styled. Like he actually went to a real salon instead of letting it grow into the vaguely unruly mess it's been for the past few weeks.

It frames his face differently now. Makes his jawline look sharper. Makes those dark eyes seem more intense, if that's even possible.

And he smells good. Not just his usual rain-and-something-undefined scent, but that plus something crisp and clean. Aftershave, maybe. Or whatever fancy shit they use at the kind of salon that charges more than your monthly grocery budget.

"Did you get your hair done?"

The question comes out before you can stop it, and immediately you want to take it back.

Because now you sound like you've been paying attention to his appearance.

Which you have been, obviously, but you're not supposed to admit it.

Jungkook's hand automatically goes to his hair, fingers running through the newly-styled strands in a gesture that's probably unconscious but looks annoyingly attractive anyway.

"Yeah, had a thing. Needed to look..." He trails off, like he's not sure how to finish that sentence without revealing more than he wants to.

A thing. Right.

And suddenly it clicks. The hair. The aftershave.

He's taking your advice.

About Tessa.

Holy shit. He's actually going for it. The boy who swore off emotional entanglement, who claimed he wasn't looking for anything complicated, is putting in effort. Real effort. The kind that involves professional hair styling and smelling like he stepped out of a magazine.

It's... actually kind of sweet. In a weird, Jungkook way.

Like he heard what you said about Tessa liking him and thought, 'maybe something good can happen to me for once.'

Maybe he deserves to try dating someone normal. Someone who makes thoughtful playlists instead of someone who argues with him about whose turn it is to buy toilet paper.

"Looks good," you say, and manage to keep your voice mostly neutral. "Very... intentional."

He grins at that, and it's the kind of smile that should probably come with a warning label.

"Intentional. I like that."

He starts unpacking his groceries—takeout containers, what looks like ingredients for actual cooking.

"So, speaking of intentional..." His eyes flick to the premium pet store bag sitting on the counter. "Want to explain why you went all the way to Chelsea for cat food?"

Shit. You'd forgotten about the bag. About the logo that basically screams 'I paid way too much for pet supplies.'

"Taehyung insisted," you say, which is technically true. "Apparently Griffin has very sophisticated tastes."

"Griffin has a sensitive stomach," Jungkook corrects, but there's something softer in his voice when he talks about the cat. "But you didn't have to go to the fancy place. The normal pet store would have been fine."

"Tell that to your friend. He acted like I'd commit feline genocide if I bought the wrong brand."

Jungkook's grin widens. "Yeah, that sounds like Tae. He gets weird about Griffin."

"So I noticed." You hold up one of the cans, squinting at the price sticker. "Seriously, though. Twenty-three dollars for cat food? Does this stuff come with a fucking pedigree?"

"It's organic," Jungkook says, like that explains everything. "And Griffin's worth it."

There it is again. That simple certainty that Griffin deserves the best, no matter the cost. The same thing Taehyung said, word for word.

"If you say so." You start loading the cans into the cabinet, trying to ignore the way Jungkook is watching you. "Your cat, your credit card debt."

"Actually, speaking of credit cards..." He pulls out his wallet, which looks suspiciously new and expensive. Another purchase for his mysterious date, probably. "How much did all this cost? I should pay you back."

You wave him off without turning around. "Don't worry about it."

"Nix. Seriously. This stuff isn't cheap."

"I said don't worry about it."

"I'm not letting you pay for Griffin's food." His voice has that stubborn edge it gets when he's decided something is non-negotiable. "What's the damage? Hundred? Hundred fifty?"

"I don't have the receipt."

"Then guess."

You turn to face him, noting the way he's got his wallet out and ready, like he's prepared to throw money at this problem until it goes away.

"Why does it matter? It's done. Griffin gets his fancy food, you get to keep your credit score intact. Everyone wins."

"Because I don't want you paying for my shit."

There's something almost insulting in the way he says it. Like the idea of owing you money is fundamentally unacceptable.

"Right," you say, your voice sharper than you intended. "God forbid you're in debt to the horrible roommate."

"That's not—" He stops, jaw working like he's chewing on words he doesn't want to say. "I just don't like owing people.

"Well, too bad. Consider it payment for all the times you've used my shampoo."

"I'll buy you new shampoo."

"I don't want new shampoo."

"Then what do you want?"

You swallow at that.

Because what you want is complicated and messy and probably involves him smelling like expensive aftershave while doing things that would make your neighbors complain about the noise.

What you want is to know where he's going tonight.

Whether his hair still smells like salon products or if his usual rain scent is already taking over.

What you want is to stop caring about any of this.

"Nothing," you say finally. "I don't want anything."

Jungkook studies your face like he's trying to solve a puzzle, and you have the uncomfortable feeling that he can see right through your neutrality to the mess of contradictions underneath.

"Come on," he says, and his voice is softer now, coaxing. "There's got to be something. Dinner? Coffee? I could make you one of those fancy drinks you're always ordering at that place you like."

The offer catches you off guard.

Not because it's generous—though it is—but because it suggests he's been paying attention. That he's noticed what you order, where you go, what you like.

Which is weird, because why is he doing that?

"You can pay in my orgasms, dickhead," you say, because apparently your mouth has decided to bypass your brain entirely.

Jungkook blinks. Once. Twice. And then that dangerous grin spreads across his face like spilled wine.

"Is that an offer or a payment plan?"

Heat creeps up your neck, but you refuse to back down. "It's an acknowledgment that some things are worth more than money."

"Are they now?" He takes a step closer, and suddenly the kitchen feels too small. "And how exactly am I supposed to pay in those?"

"Figure it out," you say, grabbing the empty pet store bag and crushing it into a ball. "You're creative."

"Challenge accepted, Phoenix." His grin turns wicked. "Though I should probably warn you—might not be able to keep up that payment plan much longer."

The words hit you like cold water.

Of course. Because he's going to be busy. With Tessa. With whatever normal, healthy relationship dynamic they're going to build together while you're stuck being the messy roommate who propositions him over cat food expenses.

Your lips press together automatically, but somehow you manage to twist them into something that might pass for a smile.

“Good thing orgasms don't have expiration dates then."

And you're already halfway to your room when his voice follows you, rich with amusement and something that might be promise.

"We'll see about that."

You don't slam your door. You close it slowly. Like a mature adult who definitely didn't just proposition her emotionally unavailable roommate in the middle of an argument about cat food expenses.

Like someone who has her shit together.

But you can’t help but huff out the sigh that was building in your chest as you pull that yellow post-it note out of your pocket, smoothing it flat against your desk.

‘Means something.’

What exactly does something mean?

That you’re… what, friends now? That he noticed you didn’t throw a tantrum about spending a small fortune on cat food? That this is his version of a friendship bracelet?

Whatever. Doesn’t matter anyway.

Because Jungkook’s going to be unavailable soon. For sex. He’s finally going to try dating someone normal and healthy who makes him thoughtful playlists instead of sarcastic comments about his protein powder obsession.

And that’s… honestly, it’s fine. It was going to end eventually anyway, right? These things always do.

Roommate hookups have built-in expiration dates.

Someone always catches feelings or gets weird about it or finds someone better suited for actual relationship material.

You’re not losing anything. You’re just… transitioning. Moving on to the next phase of whatever this living situation is supposed to be.

And honestly? Maybe this solves some problems for you too.

No more weird morning-after moments where you have a breakdown wondering if you were too stupid for climbing into his bed.

No more getting distracted by the way he looks when he’s focused on something, or how his voice sounds when he’s half-asleep.

No more complications.

Plus, there’s Jason. Jason with his wire-rimmed glasses and his thoughtful literary debates and his complete lack of any connection to your living situation.

Who smells like expensive cologne instead of rain and something indefinable.

Jason could be good. Really good. Normal good.

Dating good.

Chapter 27: 27 | the right way to do things

Summary:

"Sticky notes stick in more ways than one, dragging you into memories you’d rather forget and choices you’re not sure about. Jason feels steady, Jungkook feels stormy, and somehow it all ends with kittens sleeping on your shoulder."

Notes:

So finally we have Chapter 27!!! I know it's been a while, and before diving in I just want to clear something up because I've talked about this on my blog a million times, but in case you missed it: September and October (and honestly probably all the months until like May next year) are going to be brutal for me professionally. I've got some big things going on that are basically devouring my time and energy, so if updates slow down or get a little sporadic, that's why. I'm still here, still writing, just juggling a schedule that doesn't want to be juggled.I'm also working on other fics (yes, I hear you, you deserve your updates on the others too), and to not leave you completely abandoned in October, I've been scribbling away at the Marvel-themed BTS series ("The Strings Theory"—which you've probably seen floating around my blog). I'm hoping to push that out before Halloween, but no promises because deadlines own me right now. During my two weeks off in August, I tried to cram as much writing as humanly possible into my brain, and this chapter of FMU is one of the little jewels that survived that war. You're welcome.

Now, about this chapter... sticky notes. Sticky. Notes. They're stupid, right? They shouldn't matter. But they do. Keep them in mind, because I wove them into some layered psychological work here—there's a flash of past-meets-present, and I had a lot of fun digging into how something as tiny as a yellow square can carry a whole history of humiliation, longing, and pattern-making. That's trauma for you. And Jason... and her... listen, I love my girl here because she's so real. She's been getting good dick and now it's been two weeks and her body is like HELLO??? NEEDS??? And you know what, I wanted to give her that space unapologetically. Women feel sexual, women deserve to feel sexual, and we are not shaming her for it in this household. If I see any "ugh why is she so horny for Jason??" comments, I will drop kick you from my throne (which is very tall and very intimidating). Let her want. Let her exist in that. This chapter is also littered with breadcrumbs. A lot of them. Big ones, small ones, casual ones. I want to hear what you're clocking, what vibes you're reading. Is Jason giving green flags, red flags, rainbow flags? Tell me. Nothing is too far-fetched—bring me your theories, your essays, your deranged post-it analyses. I want to read them all. And just... notice who she checks on first. Symbolism everywhere.

Now, yes, Jungkook. Yes, Tessa. Yes, the scene you have been waiting for. But let me shake you gently and remind you: Jungkook doesn't just "hate Jason for no reason." I laid groundwork for this in chapters 16 and 17. I showed you why. Please, please, don't reduce that entire interaction to "omg he's so jelly." I will revoke your citizenship in Kikiland. Is jealousy part of it? Maybe. Maybe not. But FMU is built on red herrings and the truth that humans rarely feel one neat, isolated emotion. Jungkook in that moment is experiencing about 9,293 things at once, and it's your job to figure them out. Also: the Halloween party convo. Peak tension, peak pettiness, peak subtext. Read it with a magnifying glass. Clock every word. I adore Tessa—can we date her?? Honestly, let's throw the men out the window and keep her. And then finally, finally, we circle back to my beloved side characters. Namjin crumbs!! Yeji lore!! Irya and her cat sanctuary sapphic queens!! I've been dying to show you more of Namjin, but as a writer I had to earn that moment. Notice how in earlier chapters I only gave you atmosphere, fleeting glances, small gestures—that's deliberate restraint. "Show don't tell" is more than just an aesthetic choice; it's how tension accrues. If I had given you exposition too soon, you'd have information but no weight. By holding back, by letting you sit with little fragments first, the eventual conversation in this chapter lands as a reward. It feels richer because you've been primed to sense something there, even without me saying it outright. That's the payoff of pacing: delaying revelation until the groundwork has accumulated enough to make the scene resonate.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. Enjoy this mess of sticky notes, tea rituals, pettiness, and side-character love. Tell me what you see, what you feel, what you're spiraling over—I'm waiting.

Chapter Text

Sticky notes are stupid and always have been.

But they are especially stupid when they’re sitting in your desk drawer like evidence of something you can’t name.

You yank the drawer open harder than necessary, glaring down at the yellow square with Jungkook’s chicken scratch handwriting. 

Means something.  

What the fuck does that even mean? 

Something could be anything. Something could be nothing disguised as vague profundity. Something could be his way of saying thanks without actually having to be vulnerable about it.

Something.

Your eyes drift to the scattered pens across your desk, then to your own post-it block sitting there like a bright yellow taunt. The same brand, probably. The same size. The same stupid, meaningless square of adhesive paper that somehow carries way more weight than it should.

Because you’ve been here before.

Sixteen and sitting in AP History, trying to pay attention to Mrs. Henderson’s lecture about the Industrial Revolution when a folded yellow note landed on your desk.

You’d looked around, confused, until David Morrison—David fucking Morrison—caught your eye from two rows back and pointed at the note with that cocky smile that made half the junior class lose their minds.

‘Do you want to be my girlfriend? Check yes or no.’

Like you were in elementary school. Like this was some playground proposal instead of the most popular guy in your grade asking you out in the middle of third period.

And God, you’d been so soft then. So eager to please. So convinced that being chosen by someone like David—quarterback, student council, the kind of pretty that made teachers forget to assign detention—meant you’d finally figured out how to be the right kind of girl.

So you’d checked yes. Obviously. Because what kind of idiot says no to David Morrison?

The kind of idiot who doesn’t realize Mrs. Henderson has been watching the whole exchange, apparently.

“Miss,” she’d said, her voice cutting through your daydream like a scalpel. “Perhaps you’d like to share what’s more important than the economic impact of mechanization?”

Your stomach had dropped. Literally dropped, like someone cut the elevator cables.

“It’s nothing, Mrs. Henderson. Just—”

“Bring it here.”

And fuck, the walk to her desk had felt like a death march. 

Every step echoing in the sudden silence as twenty-eight pairs of eyes tracked your movement. David’s included, though his expression had shifted from cocky confidence to something that might have been concern.

Too little, too late.

Mrs. Henderson had unfolded the note with theatrically, her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose like she was about to deliver a verdict.

“‘Do you want to be my girlfriend? Check yes or no.’” Her voice had carried across the classroom with perfect, humiliating clarity. “How romantic.”

The gasps. The giggles. The way Emily Walsh had actually snorted in the front row. The heat crawling up your neck like a rash, spreading across your cheeks until you probably looked like a tomato in a cardigan.

“Detention,” Mrs. Henderson had announced. “For you, Miss. Clearly you need some time to reflect on appropriate classroom behavior.”

Not David. Just you.

Because apparently accepting a note was worse than sending one.

Because apparently being a teenage girl meant you were automatically suspect, guilty of encouraging male attention instead of being an innocent victim of it.

And you’d just stood there. Nodding. Apologizing.

“It’s fine,” you’d said when your friends asked if you were okay. “It wasn’t that bad.”

It wasn’t fine. It was humiliating and unfair and the kind of gendered bullshit that should have made you angry instead of ashamed.

But you were sixteen and convinced that making waves was worse than drowning quietly.

David had shown up twenty minutes into detention, though. Slipped past Mrs. Henderson somehow—probably charmed his way through the office with that quarterback smile—and tapped on the classroom window until you looked up from your worksheet.

Come on,” he’d mouthed, gesturing toward the door.

And because you were sixteen and stupid and maybe a little bit in love with the idea of being rescued, you’d raised your hand and asked to use the bathroom. Had walked right out of that classroom and into David’s arms like some ridiculous movie scene.

“Sorry about Henderson,” he’d said, and he’d actually sounded like he meant it. “She’s such a bitch.”

“It’s okay.” Because of course you’d said it was okay.

Because making him feel bad about it would’ve been selfish.

“Want to get milkshakes?”

And you’d said yes to that too.

Because David Morrison was asking, and you were still floating on the high of being chosen, even if the choosing had gotten you in trouble.

The relationship had lasted three months. Typical high school bullshit—football games and house parties and the backseat of his Jeep Cherokee.

He’d been sweet, mostly. Sweeter than you’d expected from someone with his reputation. Brought you coffee before first period sometimes. Let you wear his letterman jacket even though it made you look like you were drowning in polyester and school spirit.

But he never wrote you another note.

Not one. Not even when you were fighting or making up or celebrating his acceptance to State. The yellow post-it had been a one-time thing. A grand gesture that ended up being more gesture than grand.

You’d kept it, though. Tucked between the pages of your copy of ‘The Great Gatsby’, like some pathetic talisman of the first time someone had wanted you enough to risk public humiliation.

And now here you are, years later, staring at another yellow note from another boy who doesn’t know how to use actual words for actual feelings.

Means something.

Your fingers hover over your own post-it block. Bright yellow. Perfectly square. Stupid and juvenile and exactly the kind of thing you should be above at your age.

But maybe that’s the point. Maybe being above it is overrated. Maybe sometimes you need to be sixteen again, when the biggest risk was checking ‘yes’ in blue ink and hoping for the best.

You pull a note free, smooth it flat against your desk. Pick up a pen and press the tip against the paper.

What do you even say to ’means something?’

Thanks for the vague philosophical statement?

Fuck off with your cryptic bullshit?

Tae was the one who actually paid for your cat’s food and that shit is way too expensive and I’m having complicated feelings about it?

The pen hovers. Waiting.

Means something.

Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe the meaning is in the trying, not the saying.

Maybe you’re overthinking a piece of paper that costs approximately three fucking cents, you stupid bitch.

Your phone buzzes against the desk, Jason’s name lighting up the screen. 

Right. Fuck. You’d completely forgotten.

“Hey,” you answer, already grabbing your backpack to dig for the assignment you’re supposed to be working on.

“Hey yourself. I’m about five minutes out,” Jason’s voice is warm through the speaker, tinged with that slight breathlessness that means he’s walking fast. “Traffic was worse than I expected, but I’ve got those Plath collections you wanted to borrow. And tea leaves, since you mentioned you like Sencha. Figured we’d need fuel for wrestling with confessional poetry.”

You glance at the clock.

Shit.

You’d asked him to come help with your comparative analysis paper on Plath and Anne Sexton, completely spacing on the time while you spiraled over sticky note psychology.

“Perfect. I’ve got the Sexton stuff laid out already,” you lie, scanning your disaster of a desk. “And I may have started an outline.”

“May have?”

“Okay, I wrote ‘Plath vs Sexton: sad ladies with daddy issues’ at the top of a Word doc and called it a day.”

Jason laughs, rich and genuine. “Well, that’s technically not wrong. See you in a few.”

The line goes dead, and you’re left staring at the blank post-it again. 

Five minutes.

Jason will be here in five minutes, and you’ll spend the afternoon discussing the literary merits of women who turned their pain into art instead of overthinking your emotionally unavailable roommate’s communication style.

Good. Perfect. Exactly what you should be doing.

You press pen to paper before you can second-guess yourself. Write something. Something quick and stupid and appropriately meaningless.

Something that doesn’t sound like you’ve been analyzing his two-word note like it’s the fucking Rosetta Stone.

The pen moves across the yellow square, forming words you don’t let yourself think too hard about.

There. Done. No overthinking, no deep analysis, just a response that acknowledges his response without making it weird.

You fold the note once—the same way he folded yours—and push back from your desk.

You get out of your room and as you approach his door, you can see it’s cracked open about six inches. Empty room beyond, afternoon light slanting across unmade sheets and a pile of clothes on the floor that he probably stepped out of and abandoned.

Typical.

You’re not going in. That would be crossing a line, trespassing into his space when he’s not here to consent to it…

…but you can reach through the gap, stretch your arm just far enough to—

There. The light switch is right inside the door frame, exactly where every apartment light switch is. Perfect target.

You unfold the post-it, press it against the plastic cover of the switch where he’ll definitely see it the next time he flicks the lights on. The adhesive holds, yellow square bright against white plastic.

Mission accomplished.

It’s only as you pull your arm back that you catch it—that scent.

Rain and something warm and indefinable that clings to his sheets, his clothes, probably the air itself in here.

For a second, just a second, you let yourself breathe it in.

Yeah, he does smell like thunderstorms. Like one of those that doesn’t just pass through, polite and cleansing, but rips the sky wide open—sheets of lightning tearing at the dark, thunder cracking so hard it rattles the windows, wind clawing at everything not nailed down.

The kind of storm that leaves the city raw and trembling after, gutters overflowing, trash cans tipped, air electric and restless because nothing stays untouched when chaos decides to visit.

Figures. Of course he’d carry that kind of wreckage around like cologne.

Unlike Jason, who smells like stability and everything you want to have under control.

You close the door to exactly the same six-inch gap you found it in, and head toward your room to pretend you have your shit together for Jason’s arrival.

Some things are better left unstuck.

Even when they stick anyway.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

You scan the room in search for your laptop. Obviously. Because Jason's coming over in—fuck, probably three minutes now—and you can't exactly discuss the psychological complexities of confessional poetry without, you know, actual access to the poems.

(Plus, an open laptop screams “organized academic” way more than a half-assed Word doc title pecked out on your phone.)

Coffee table first. Nope. Just yesterday's mug with a ring of dried coffee at the bottom and Griffin's favorite hair tie that he's been batting around for weeks.

Why does everything in this apartment belong to that cat?

Couch next. Yup—there it is, wedged between the cushions like it's trying to escape.

You yank it free, settling into what's become your designated spot ever since that night you painted your toenails here while Yoongi dropped cryptic bombs about Mia's existence.

Your spot now. Officially. By right of conquest and nail polish fumes.

You flip the laptop open, and immediately the battery indicator glares at you in accusatory red.

Four percent. Four fucking percent.

"Seriously?" you mutter to no one, because apparently you're the kind of person who argues with electronics now. "I plugged you in like two days ago."

Except you didn't. Because you're a disaster who never remembers to charge anything until it's dying a dramatic death in your hands.

The outlets near the TV are your best bet. You grab the charger, untangling it from whatever nest of cables it's gotten itself into, and head over to the entertainment center.

But every single outlet is occupied. PS5, sound bar, Yoongi's mysterious black box that's probably either a recording device or a bomb, and the TV itself. All plugged in like they're permanent residents of the wall.

And the PS5 is on. Actually on, not just in rest mode. The little light glowing blue like a beacon of Jungkook's presence even when he's not here.

Did he just... forget to turn it off? Leave it running while he went to do whatever he’s busy doing?

You grab the TV remote, muscle memory navigating to the right HDMI input, and—

Oh.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. Main menu screen glowing in all its military-industrial complex glory. And right there in the corner, bold as you please: ProofedToKill.

You snort. Actually snort. Out loud. To an empty apartment.

So he wasn't lying about that being his gamertag.

ProofedToKill

Like some edgy thirteen-year-old picked it because it sounded cool, except…

Except from what he told you, he spent actual time thinking about the pun.

Proofed. Like alcohol content. Like bread rising. 

Like… His stupid sourdough hobby bleeding into his digital identity.

It's so fucking ridiculous it loops back around to being almost clever.

Almost.

You're still staring at the screen when details start filtering in.

Recent matches listed on the side. Kill-death ratios that are honestly pretty impressive—whoever Jungkook's been playing with clearly knows what they're doing. Time stamps showing activity from... today. Like, hours ago today.

So he was home. Recently. Playing games instead of working on whatever project was supposedly keeping him locked in the studio.

Interesting.

You scroll through the match history because you're nosy and have zero shame about it.

Team matches, mostly. A few solo runs. Screen names you don't recognize but that all sound equally ridiculous—SniperNoSniping, HeadshotHero, TacticalTaco.

TacticalTaco. Jesus Christ.

But the thing is, his stats are actually good. Really good. K/D ratio hovering around 2.5, which is nothing to sneeze at. Win percentage in the seventies.

Either Jungkook's been secretly grinding this game like it's his job, or he's just naturally gifted at virtual murder.

Probably both, knowing him.

You click into his profile because you're apparently committed to this invasion of privacy now. 

Rank: Crimson. Time played: holy shit, 2,847 hours. 

That's... that's a lot of hours. That's a full-time job worth of hours.

And here you thought his biggest time suck was arguing with you about whose turn it was to clean the bathroom.

Jungkook plays Call of Duty the way you play... well, everything. With obsessive attention to detail and just enough competitiveness to make it dangerous.

Which raises the obvious question: when exactly did he become a fucking gamer?

And more importantly, why do you care?

Okay, but you don’t. It’s just… interesting.

That there are entire dimensions of Jungkook you know nothing about.

That he can spend nearly three thousand hours murdering digital enemies without losing motivation.

Makes you wonder what else you don’t know.

Like whether he’s actually good with his hands because of all that controller work, or if the hand-eye coordination thing translates to other… activities.

Which is a dangerous train of thought because now you’re thinking about his hands. The way they move. How they’re always warm against your perpetually freezing hands.

The way they feel when they’re—

Nope. Not going there.

Except you kind of are.

Because it’s been what, two weeks? Maybe more? Since you and Jungkook did anything that wasn’t argue about Griffin’s food or whose turn it was to take out the trash.

Two weeks since the kitchen counter incident with the vanilla extract and your legs wrapped around his waist and his mouth doing things that you wish that fucking vibrator could recreate.

Two weeks of absolutely nothing.

Not that you’re counting. Obviously. You’re a mature adult who doesn’t keep track of her roommate’s sexual unavailability like some kind of horny accountant.

And okay, fine, it’s probably for the best. Healthy boundaries and all that. No more complications, no more blurred lines, no more three AM encounters that leave you questioning every life choice you’ve ever made.

But still.

Two weeks, okay.

Your body has opinions about two weeks. Loud, increasingly obnoxious opinions that tend to surface at inconvenient moments. Like right now, staring at evidence of Jungkook’s secret gaming life while waiting for Jason to arrive.

Jason. Who’s smart and stable and smells like expensive cologne instead of rain. Who opens doors and sends thoughtful texts and probably has never played a video game in his life.

Jason, who’s going to be here in approximately ninety seconds, and who you’ve been wondering about. Sexually. Because two weeks is two weeks, and you’re not dead.

And truthfully, the wondering started innocently enough. Just idle curiosity about what he’d be like.

Whether he’s as careful and thoughtful in bed as he is in conversation.

Whether those wire-rimmed glasses stay on or come off.

Whether he’s the type to ask permission for everything or if there’s something more decisive underneath all that academic politeness.

You’re betting on decisive. There’s something in the way he holds eye contact, the way he doesn’t back down when you challenge his literary interpretations. Like he knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.

Which could be… It is kind of hot.

It’s been two weeks since anyone’s touched you, and Jason’s been nothing but respectful and interested and intellectually stimulating, and you’re only human.

A human with needs. Physical needs that don’t stop existing just because your emotionally unavailable roommate is busy playing video games and getting his hair done for other people.

Speaking of which.

Where the fuck is everyone?

You haven’t seen Yoongi in… actually, when did you last see Yoongi? Yesterday? Day before? And Jungkook’s gaming setup is still warm, but he’s clearly not here, probably off doing whatever mysterious project keeps him busy enough to abandon Call of Duty.

You could be alone. Properly alone. For the first time in weeks.

The thought makes your pulse kick up in a way that has nothing to do with academic anxiety.

You pad down the hall, stopping at Yoongi’s door. Knock twice. No answer. The silence that comes back is the particular quality of emptiness—not just quiet, but actually vacant.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket. 6B Hell group chat.

Right, you’d sent a message like ten minutes ago asking if anyone was home.

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 🎧: 𝚆𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝟹 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜. 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕.

Three days. Yoongi’s not coming back for three days.

Jungkook’s message just shows as delivered. No read receipt, no response. Probably has his phone buried under studio equipment or forgotten in a backpack somewhere.

So yes. You’re alone. Completely, definitely alone.

The apartment buzzer cuts through your increasingly inappropriate thoughts like a fire alarm.

Jason is here. Jason with his wire-rimmed glasses and his thoughtful literary analysis and his complete lack of connection to your living space drama.

Jason, who might be exactly what you need to stop overthinking sticky notes and video game statistics.

Time to find out.

“Where’s the kettle?”

Jason’s voice snaps you out of whatever horny fugue state you’d slipped into while he was explaining the psychological implications of Plath’s bee poems.

Which. Great. Nothing says ‘serious academic discussion’ like getting distracted by the way someone’s mouth moves when they say ‘stinging.’

You blink, trying to refocus on his face instead of his lips. “What?”

“The kettle,” he repeats, already pushing back from the couch where you’d been sitting with books scattered between you like some kind of literary barrier. “You mentioned wanting tea, and I brought some Sencha that pairs really well with this kind of close reading work.”

Right. Tea. You’d mentioned wanting tea because you always want tea, and because caffeine seemed like a good idea when faced with three hours of comparative poetry analysis.

“Kitchen,” you say, which is obvious but apparently your brain-to-mouth filter is still offline. “It’s in the kitchen. Obviously.”

He’s already moving toward the kitchen island, and you follow because that seems like the normal thing to do.

Not because you want to watch the way his shoulders move under his button-down.

Not because you’re curious about what ‘close reading tea’ even means.

Definitely not because you’re wondering what those hands would feel like on your skin instead of turning pages.

“I brought a really nice blend,” Jason says, reaching into his messenger bag to pull out a small tin. “Also some chamomile lavender that’s supposed to help with concentration.”

You locate the kettle—electric, thank god, because the stovetop one disappeared into Yoongi’s room months ago and never emerged—and fill it with water.

“You’re really prepared for this.”

“I like tea,” he says simply, opening the tin to let you smell. “And I like being prepared.”

The scent hits you immediately. Earthy and complex, making you want to lean closer. Which you do. Obviously. For the tea.

Not because it puts you directly in his orbit, close enough to catch his scent underneath the bergamot. Clean soap and cedar which is decidedly masculine and maybe making your pulse kick up in a way that’s definitely not about academic preparation.

“That’s…” you start, then realize you’re standing way too close and take a deliberate step back. “That smells really good.”

Jason smiles, and it’s the kind of smile that transforms his whole face. Less serious academic, more… fuck. More attractive than you’d prepared yourself for.

“Isn’t it? I get it from this little shop in the Village. They do their own blending.”

Of course he does. Of course Jason has a relationship with a specialty tea shop and opinions about blending. Of course he’s the kind of person who thinks about what beverages pair well with literary analysis.

It should be pretentious. Should make you roll your eyes and make some sarcastic comment about the gentrification of hot leaf water.

Instead, it’s… kind of charming? In that same way his earnest enthusiasm for Plath’s bee imagery had been charming. Like he cares enough about things to have opinions about them.

The kettle clicks on, beginning its slow build toward boiling, and you find yourself just standing there.

Looking up at him. Him looking down at you.

And okay. When did your life become a fucking rom-com?

Because this is rom-com bullshit. This standing in the kitchen, making tea together, having a moment over bergamot and literary discussion. This butterflies-in-stomach, aware-of-every-breath-he-takes nonsense that feels like something from a movie you’d mock while watching alone with wine and takeout.

Except you’re not mocking it. You’re living it.

And you want to climb him like a tree.

“So,” you say, because someone needs to fill this silence before you do something stupid like grab his shirt and pull him down to your level. “Lavender tea for concentration, huh?”

“It’s supposed to help with mental clarity,” Jason explains, moving to examine your tea collection with the kind of focus most people reserve for wine lists. “Though honestly, I just like the way it tastes.”

He’s going through your cabinet with confidence, pulling down mugs, checking the steeping instructions on your various boxes of tea bags. Like he’s comfortable in your kitchen. Like he belongs here.

Which is weird, because you’re not used to people belonging in your space.

This apartment has always felt temporary, transitional. A place you landed rather than chose.

But watching Jason navigate your kitchen with easy familiarity makes it seem… domesticated, almost.

“You have good taste,” he says, holding up a box of your favorite chamomile. “This brand is excellent.”

“Thanks.” You’re watching his hands again. Long fingers, neat nails, the kind of careful presentation that suggests he pays attention to details. “I’m kind of particular about tea.”

“I can tell.” He’s examining the steeping instructions on another box now, and you realize with growing horror that you’re about to be judged by someone who clearly knows what he’s doing. “Though you might want to reconsider this brewing method.”

“What?”

Jason holds up the box you were reaching for—your standard go-to English Breakfast. “This says to steep for three to five minutes, but you’ll get better flavor extraction with a longer steep. Especially if you’re using it to cut through the acidity of bergamot.”

You blink. “I’ve been making tea wrong?”

“Not wrong,” he says quickly, and there’s something almost gentle in his correction. “Just… not optimally.”

The kettle starts to whistle, and Jason moves toward it automatically. Like he’s going to take over tea-making duties in your own kitchen.

Which should annoy you. Should trigger every territorial instinct you have about your space and your methods and your right to make mediocre tea if you want to.

Instead, you find yourself stepping aside. Letting him take the lead.

“Here,” Jason says, positioning himself behind you, one hand reaching around to guide your grip on the kettle handle. “You want to pour in a circular motion. Helps with even saturation.”

His chest is almost pressed against your back. Almost but not quite. Just close enough that you can feel the heat radiating from him, smell that clean soap scent mixed with something that might be aftershave.

Just close enough that when he leans forward to demonstrate proper pouring technique, his breath brushes against your ear.

“Like this,” he murmurs, his hand covering yours on the kettle handle, guiding the motion. “Slow circles. Let the leaves have time to open up.”

Your brain immediately goes to places it shouldn’t go. Places involving opening up and taking time and Jason’s hands guiding more than just tea preparation.

Focus, bitch. You’re supposed to be focusing on tea. On proper brewing technique. On literally anything other than the way his voice sounds when it’s low and instructional and directed specifically at you.

“Better flavor that way,” Jason continues, apparently oblivious to your internal meltdown. “You get more of the complex notes.”

“Complex notes,” you repeat, because speaking seems important but your brain has redirected most of its processing power toward analyzing the precise distance between his chest and your back.

“Mmm.” He’s still guiding your hand, still standing close. “Tea’s a lot like poetry, actually. Layers of meaning. Things you miss if you don’t take the time to really experience it.”

And that. That should definitely sound pretentious. Should make you want to roll your eyes and make some comment about taking tea philosophy a little too seriously.

But his voice is warm and low and right by your ear, and instead of pretentious it sounds… intimate. Like he’s sharing something important with you. Like proper tea brewing is some kind of secret knowledge he wants you to have.

Like he cares about teaching you things.

The water finishes pouring, and Jason steps back, giving you space to breathe again.

Which you definitely need, because apparently you’d been holding your breath without realizing it.

“Now we wait,” he says, setting a timer on his phone. “Two minutes for the Sencha.”

“Right.” You lean against the counter, trying to recalibrate. Trying to remember that this is Jason being helpful, not Jason seducing you via tea preparation. “So you really are particular about this.”

“I like things done right,” Jason says, and there’s something in his tone that makes you look at him more carefully. “Especially when it’s something I care about.”

Something he cares about.

Which could mean tea. Probably means tea.

But the way he’s looking at you suggests it might mean something else entirely.

“Good to know,” you manage, and then immediately want to kick yourself for how breathless you sound.

This is ridiculous. You’re a grown woman having a normal interaction with a nice guy who happens to know about proper tea brewing.

There’s no reason for your pulse to be doing this flutter-kick thing, no reason for your brain to be cataloguing the exact shade of green his eyes turn when he concentrates.

No reason to be wondering what it would feel like if he applied that same attention to learning your body instead of your beverage preferences.

The timer goes off, sharp and immediate, and you nearly jump out of your skin.

“Perfect timing,” Jason says, reaching for the tea strainer like he’s done this a hundred times before. “Ready to see what properly steeped green tea tastes like?”

And just like that, the first sip hits your palate like a revelation.

Rich. Complex. Layers of flavor that unfold across your tongue in ways your usual tea bag steep never manages.

“Fuck,” you breathe, then immediately feel stupid for swearing at tea. “Sorry. It’s just… really good.”

Jason’s smile is pleased. Satisfied in a way that suggests he knew exactly what your reaction would be.

“Better than the five-minute version?”

“So much better.” You take another sip, actually paying attention this time. Trying to taste the complexity he’d been talking about. “I had no idea I was doing it wrong.”

“Not wrong,” he corrects again, and there’s that gentle tone. Like he’s being careful not to make you feel bad about your inferior tea skills. “Just… there’s always room for improvement.”

Which should be fine. Should be normal. People learn things from other people all the time. That’s how knowledge works.

But something about the way he says it—improvement—makes you feel like a student being graded.

Like your previous tea-making efforts have been found wanting and he’s here to fix you.

Not fix you. Teach you.

Same difference, though, isn’t it?

“The key is temperature control,” Jason continues, apparently unaware of your internal monologue. “Most people use water that’s too hot. Scalds the leaves.”

He’s standing close again, which lets you see the perfect way his glasses sit on the bridge of his nose. His eyelashes are longer than they have any right to be on a man, dark and thick behind wire frames.

“Temperature control,” you croak, which is kind of mortifying to be honest.

“Exactly. Black teas can handle near-boiling, but anything delicate gets destroyed.” His fingers brush yours as he reaches for his own mug, and the contact sends a little jolt up your arm. “You have to respect what you’re working with.”

Respect what you’re working with. Right. Very… hands-on educational.

His thumb traces the rim of his mug as he talks, and you find yourself watching the movement. The way his grip adjusts, fingers finding the exact right position for optimal holding comfort.

Jesus, he has nice hands.

Does he approach everything with this kind of attention to detail?

Stop. Stop thinking about his hands and how they might feel if they were being methodical about other things. This is an academic discussion about beverage preparation, not foreplay.

“The other thing people get wrong is ratios,” Jason continues, apparently oblivious to your increasingly inappropriate thought process. “Too much tea, and it’s bitter. Too little, and you’re basically drinking hot water.”

“What’s the right ratio?” you ask, because participating in conversation seems like the mature thing to do.

“Depends on the tea. But generally, one teaspoon per cup, plus one for the pot.” He demonstrates with imaginary measurements, hands moving. “Though that’s for loose leaf. Bags are different.”

Of course they are. Of course there are different rules for different types of tea, and of course Jason knows all of them.

“You really did your research on this,” you observe, taking another sip of your perfectly brewed Sencha.

“I told you, I like things done right.”

There’s that phrase again. Things done right. Like there’s a correct way to exist in the world, and he’s somehow figured it out while the rest of us fumble around with suboptimal brewing techniques.

But his smile is warm when he says it. Not condescending, just… confident. Like he’s sharing something valuable with you.

Which he is, technically. This tea is definitely better than your usual approach.

“Plus,” he adds, “it’s meditative, you know? The ritual of it. Taking time to do something properly instead of just rushing through.”

Your hand brushes his as you both reach for the sugar at the same time. Brief contact, skin on skin, but enough to make your pulse stutter.

“Sorry,” you mutter, pulling back.

“Don’t be.” His fingers linger near yours for just a second longer than necessary. “I don’t mind sharing space.”

Sharing space. Right. That’s definitely what this is. Sharing space. Not whatever weird tension is building between you over proper steeping techniques and accidentally-on-purpose hand contact.

You watch him add sugar to his tea—one teaspoon, measured precisely, stirred clockwise exactly five times.

Would he want to teach you things? Show you better ways to move, better ways to touch, better ways to make sounds that please him?

Christ. You’re getting turned on by watching someone add sugar to tea. What is wrong with you?

“The stirring matters too,” Jason says, apparently noticing your fascination with his technique. “Clockwise motion helps the sugar dissolve evenly.”

“Clockwise,” you repeat, trying it yourself. “Like this?”

“Perfect.” His hand covers yours, guiding the motion. “Though maybe a little slower. You want to be gentle with it.”

Yeah, you want to show him how gentle you can be.

Though in a completely different setting.

“Better,” he murmurs, watching your hand under his. “Feel how the resistance changes as the sugar dissolves?”

You nod, not trusting your voice.

Because yes, you can feel the resistance changing, but you’re more focused on the way his breath smells like bergamot and something warmer.

On the way this feels like the kind of scene that happens right before people start kissing in movies.

“You’re a quick learner,” Jason says, finally letting go of your hand.

Which should be a compliment. Should make you feel good about your tea-stirring abilities.

Because this is not an exam.

“Thanks,” you manage, taking a sip of your properly stirred tea. “I have a good teacher.”

There’s a brief note of silence before his smile widens, pleased and maybe slightly surprised.

“I enjoy teaching,” he says. “Especially when someone’s genuinely interested in learning.”

Genuinely interested in learning. Right. That’s what this is. Educational interest. Not sexual tension disguised as beverage instruction.

Not the growing awareness that you want him to keep touching you, keep guiding you, keep using that low voice to explain things you already know how to do.

“Good to know,” you say, raising your mug in a mock toast. “To proper brewing techniques.”

“To doing things right,” Jason counters, clinking his mug against yours.

Movement in your peripheral vision breaks the spell.

Orange blur launching itself from the direction of Jungkook’s room, padding across the hardwood with that particular cat swagger that suggests Griffin has decided to grace you with his presence.

He makes a beeline for the window area, leaping onto one of the black bean bag chairs before settling on his little carpet-covered window perch. The one Jungkook bought him because ’Griffin needs to survey his kingdom, Nix.’

“That’s Griffin,” you explain, watching him start his post-nap grooming routine with characteristic feline intensity. “Jungkook’s cat.”

Jason follows your gaze, expression shifting to something politely interested. “Ah. The roommate’s cat.”

“Mm.” You set your mug down, automatically moving toward Griffin because that’s what you do now, apparently. Scratch the cat’s ears when he deigns to appear. “He’s particular about people.”

Griffin purrs the second your fingers find that sweet spot behind his left ear, leaning into the touch like he’s been waiting all day for exactly this attention.

Which he probably has. Drama queen.

“Cute,” Jason says, and there’s something in his tone that doesn’t quite match the word. “I’m not really a cat person, though.”

You glance up at him. “No?”

“Dogs make more sense to me,” he explains, stepping closer to where you’re crouched by the window. “Cats are just… I don’t get them. All that attitude for no reason.”

Griffin’s purr intensifies as you work your fingers through his fur, and you can’t help but smile at the way he’s practically melting under your touch.

“He’s not that bad once you get to know him.”

“If you say so.” Jason’s reaching out his hand, extending it toward Griffin like he’s approaching a wild animal.

And okay. Warning bells. Tiny little warning bells are going off in your head because Griffin doesn’t do well with strangers, especially strangers who approach him like he’s a science experiment.

But Jason seems confident, and maybe you’re overthinking it.

Maybe cats can sense genuine interest, even if it’s not Jason’s natural inclination.

Griffin stops purring.

His whole body goes tense under your hand, ears flattening back against his skull as Jason’s fingers get closer. You feel the shift immediately—from relaxed house cat to defensive predator in about half a second.

“Maybe don’t—” you start, but Jason’s already making contact.

Griffin hisses. Low and warning, the sound cutting through the apartment like a fire alarm.

“Whoa,” Jason says, but he doesn’t pull back. “Easy there.”

And that’s when you should have intervened. Should have told Jason to stop, to give Griffin space, to listen when a cat is clearly communicating discomfort.

But you don’t. Because Jason seems to think he can handle it, and maybe you’re curious to see if Griffin’s just being dramatic.

Griffin is not being dramatic.

The orange blur moves faster than you can track—one second he’s on his perch, the next he’s airborne, claws extended, making direct contact with Jason’s cheek before launching himself toward your room like his tail is on fire.

“Shit!” Jason jerks backward, hand flying to his face. “Jesus, what—”

You’re already moving, dropping to your knees to scan the floor for any sign that Griffin might be hurt.

Because that’s your immediate concern—not Jason’s probably minor scratch, but whether Griffin twisted something in his dramatic exit.

“Griffin?” You call toward your room, but there’s no answer. No orange tail visible under the door.

He’s probably under your bed, which is his go-to hiding spot when the world becomes too much to handle.

Which it clearly has.

“Sorry,” you say, finally looking up at Jason. “He’s really not good with strangers, and—oh.”

Three parallel lines across his cheek. Not deep, but definitely bleeding. Definitely going to be visible for a few days.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” You’re on your feet before you fully realize you’re moving, closing the distance between you until you’re close enough to assess the damage properly. “He’s just… he’s been through a lot, and he gets defensive when—”

“It’s fine,” Jason interrupts, but his voice is tight. Controlled in that way that suggests it’s definitely not fine. “Just caught me off guard.”

Your thumb brushes along his cheekbone, just below the scratches, and he goes still. Very still. Like he’s holding his breath.

“I should have warned you better,” you murmur, studying the marks Griffin left behind. “He’s really particular about people touching him without permission.”

“Without permission,” Jason repeats, and there’s something in his voice now that wasn’t there before. Something warmer. “Is that how it works?”

Your hand is still on his face. Still tracing the line of his cheekbone while you assess the damage.

And suddenly you’re way too close to him and his eyes have gone darker behind his glasses and his breathing has changed.

“Usually,” you say, but the word comes out softer than you intended. Breathier.

“Good thing I have yours then,” Jason murmurs, and his free hand comes up to cover the one you have pressed against his cheek.

And oh. Oh.

This is happening. This moment you’ve been building toward since he walked through your door. Since he taught you how to make proper tea and stood too close while demonstrating optimal stirring technique.

This is the part where he kisses you.

His thumb traces across your knuckles, gentle pressure that makes your pulse skip. His other hand settles at your waist, not pulling you closer but anchoring you there. Keeping you in place while he looks at you like he’s trying to memorize your face.

“Is this okay?” he asks, and his voice is barely above a whisper.

Which is sweet and the kind of respectful consent check that makes you melt and confirms that Jason is exactly the kind of man you should be dating.

Though, some perverse part of your brain notes that he didn’t ask Griffin for permission before ignoring every signal the cat was sending.

But also, that’s different. That’s just… cats are complicated. And Jason was trying to be friendly.

Trying to connect with something important to you, even if it’s not his natural preference.

The fact that it went badly doesn’t mean his intentions weren’t good.

“Yeah,” you breathe, already tilting your face up toward his. “It’s okay.”

Jason’s smile is soft. Pleased. Like you’ve given him exactly what he was hoping for.

“Good,” he murmurs, and then his mouth is on yours.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

And fuck.

Fuck, he’s good at this.

The kiss, at first, is gentle—almost hesitant—but when you lean into it, when you press closer and part your lips against his, he responds immediately.

Both hands come up to frame your face, thumbs stroking along your cheekbones as he deepens the kiss.

And okay, yes, about fucking time.

This is exactly what you needed. What you’ve been thinking about for days without fully admitting it to yourself.

Jason tastes like tea and something premium, something that makes you want to bite his bottom lip just to see how he’d react.

So you do.

His breath hitches, fingers tightening against your face, and then he’s kissing you harder. More demanding. Like you’ve unlocked something in him that was being toned down.

His mouth moves to your jaw, pressing open-mouthed kisses along the line of it, and your brain goes temporarily offline.

Because holy shit, he knows exactly what he’s doing. Knows exactly where to press his lips to make your pulse stutter and your knees go weak.

“Jason,” you breathe, and he hums against your throat.

“Mmm?”

But you don’t actually have anything to say. Don’t have any coherent thoughts beyond ’more’ and ’yes and ‘why am I not against that window already?

So instead of answering, you put your hands on his chest and push.

He pulls back, eyes wide and slightly unfocused behind his glasses. “What—”

“The beanbag,” you say, nodding behind him. “Sit.”

Understanding dawns in his expression, followed immediately by something sultrier.

“Yeah,” he says, already moving. “Yeah, okay.”

The black beanbag shifts under his weight as he settles onto it, and you have maybe half a second to appreciate the sight—Jason with his hair slightly messed up, cheeks flushed, looking up at you like he can’t quite believe this is happening—before you’re moving.

Straddling him. Knees bracketing his hips, hands tangling in his hair as you kiss him again.

This is better. So much better.

The angle lets you press closer, lets you feel the hard line of his cock against your inner thigh as you settle your weight over him. Lets you control the pace and pressure and exactly how much contact you’re making.

Which is a lot of contact, apparently, because Jason groans into your mouth when you shift your hips.

“Fuck,” he pants against your lips. “That’s—”

You rock against him again, deliberate this time, and whatever he was going to say dies in his throat.

His hands find your waist, fingers digging in through your shirt as you establish a rhythm. Slow rolls of your hips that drag your clothed cunt against the growing bulge in his pants. That make heat pool between your thighs and your breath come shorter.

“You feel so good,” Jason murmurs, mouth finding your ear. “So fucking good.”

And he does too. He feels solid and warm beneath you, responds to every movement with quiet sounds that make you want to grind harder. Make you want to strip off both your clothes and see what other sounds you can pull from him.

His teeth graze your earlobe, and you arch into the sensation, pressing your tits against his chest—and shit, thin fabric of your shirt suddenly feels like too much.

“More,” you whisper, not even sure what you’re asking for.

But Jason seems to understand, because his hands slide up your sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts through your shirt. Not quite touching where you want him to, but close enough to make you gasp.

“Like this?” he asks, voice rough with want.

“Yes,” you breathe, rolling your hips harder.

This is moving fast. Really fast. From tea instructions to making out on a beanbag in what feels like record time.

But you don’t care. Can’t care about anything beyond the way he’s touching you, looking at you, wanting to eat you right up.

Which doesn’t sound bad at all in your head.

You kiss him harder, messier, all tongue and teeth and breathless desperation. He responds immediately, one hand fisting in your hair to angle your head exactly where he wants it.

And okay. Okay, yes. This is exactly what two weeks of nothing has been building toward.

This is what good decisions feel like.

The rattle of keys in the front door hits like ice water.

You freeze mid-grind, Jason’s hands still on your waist, both of you turning toward the sound like deer caught in headlights. The door swings open, and there they are—Jungkook and Tessa?—takeout bags in hand, stopping dead in the doorway.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You scramble off Jason’s lap so fast you nearly fall over, smoothing down your shirt like that’s going to erase the fact that you were just dry-humping someone on a beanbag in your living room.

Jason shoots to his feet behind you, adjusting his glasses and running a hand through his hair.

Both of you look exactly like what you are—two people who got caught in the middle of something.

Jungkook’s eyes sweep the scene, taking in Jason’s flushed face, your disheveled hair, the way you’re both breathing too hard.

His tongue immediately presses against the inside of his cheek, jaw working in that particular way that means he’s about to say something stupid and judgmental.

Here we go.

“Well,” he says, voice flat. “This is cozy.”

And there it is. That tone. That same dismissive, condescending tone he used when he first met Jason. When he decided, based on absolutely nothing, that Jason was somehow problematic.

Tessa, bless her, looks mortified. “Oh my god, we’re so sorry! We were just—we grabbed Thai food and thought maybe—but we can totally leave!”

“I asked if anyone was home,” you snap, defensive and embarrassed and why is your voice so breathless? “I texted the group chat. You never replied.”

“Didn’t check my phone,” Jungkook says, making a beeline to the kitchen area and setting the takeout bags on the counter with unnecessary force. “Clearly I should have.”

The sarcasm in his voice makes you want to scream.

Because of course. Of course he’s going to make this about Jason somehow. About how Jason’s presence is inherently wrong or suspicious or whatever paranoid bullshit his brain has cooked up this time.

You’ve been through this already; when he met Jason and got all weird about vibes for no fucking reason.

When he decided Jason was ‘controlling’ based on nothing more than Jason being polite and academically focused.

Classic Jungkook. Projecting his ex-girlfriend trauma onto perfectly innocent people.

“We brought pad thai,” Tessa tries again, clearly sensing the tension crackling through the room. “And those spring rolls you mentioned liking? But seriously, we can go somewhere else—”

“No.” Jungkook’s voice cuts across hers, sharp and final. “This is my apartment too. We’re staying.”

Your hands curl into fists at your sides.

His apartment too.

Like you’re some kind of intruder bringing questionable people home instead of someone who pays rent and has every right to have guests over.

But you’re not going to fight with him in front of Tessa.

Sweet, beautiful Tessa who probably has never witnessed a roommate meltdown in her entire charmed life.

Who definitely doesn’t deserve to get caught in the crossfire of Jungkook’s irrational Jason hatred.

“Maybe I should go,” Jason says quietly, reaching for his messenger bag. “We can finish the assignment tomorrow—”

“No,” you say quickly, because fuck Jungkook and his paranoid bullshit. “Stay. We need to finish the Plath analysis, and I’m not letting my roommate’s emotional baggage derail our work.”

Jungkook lets out a bitter laugh from the kitchen, and you have to physically restrain yourself from whipping around to tell him exactly what you think of his amateur psychology skills.

Instead, you focus on Tessa, who’s standing there looking like she wants to melt into the floor.

“I’m really sorry,” she says again, tucking a strand of that impossible auburn hair behind her ear. “We should have called first. Or texted. Or—”

“Don’t apologize,” you cut her off, because none of this is her fault. She’s just collateral damage in whatever weird mental spiral Jungkook’s having about Jason’s existence. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“The food smells amazing,” Jason says, clearly trying to salvage the situation. “Thai is one of my favorites.”

Tessa brightens immediately. “Right? There’s this place near campus that does the most incredible green curry, but their pad thai is pretty basic. This place though—” She gestures to the bags Jungkook’s aggressively unpacking. “—this place knows what they’re doing.”

And just like that, she’s defusing the tension with pure, genuine enthusiasm about takeout food. Like she doesn’t notice that Jungkook looks ready to write a dissertation on Jason’s character flaws, or that you’re still trying to get your breathing back to normal.

“You should stay,” she continues, addressing Jason directly. “There’s definitely enough food, and you guys mentioned you’re working on something together..”

Jason glances at you, uncertain. “If that’s… if everyone’s okay with it.”

“I’m okay with it,” Tessa says immediately.

“I’m okay with it,” you echo, shooting a challenging look toward the kitchen.

Jungkook doesn’t respond. Just keeps unpacking containers with the kind of violence usually reserved for demolition work.

Fine. Let him sulk. Let him be weird and paranoid about someone who’s done absolutely nothing wrong.

You have work to do and a perfectly nice guy who was in the middle of kissing you before your dramatic roommate decided to make his trauma everyone else’s problem.

You’re not letting Jungkook’s trust issues ruin this.

Even if his attitude is making your chest tight with frustration,

There’s enough Thai food to feed a small army, which should surprise you but somehow doesn’t.

Because you know by now how Jungkook operates. Order one of everything because he can’t make decisions. Get enough for three meals because cooking is for people with functional life skills. Hoard leftovers like the world’s ending tomorrow because commitment to a single entrée is apparently beyond his emotional capacity.

The boxes cover your coffee table like a takeout buffet, steam still rising from the containers.

Pad thai, green curry, tom kha, spring rolls, some kind of basil stir-fry that smells like heaven. Your stomach growls despite the tension crackling through the room.

You’re nibbling on your chopsticks, trying to decide where to start, when the couch dips dramatically to your left.

Jungkook drops onto his end of the sofa like gravity personally wronged him. All that weight hitting the cushions at once, making you bounce slightly. One arm slung across the backrest, thighs spread wide in that way guys do when they want to claim as much space as humanly possible.

His head tilts back against the cushions with a weary grunt, and you can practically feel the exhaustion rolling off him in waves.

Whatever he was doing today clearly drained every functioning brain cell he possessed.

Which, granted, wasn’t many to begin with.

You’re contemplating the structural integrity of your chopsticks versus his skull when auburn hair catches the light.

Tessa settles onto the middle cushion with the kind of grace that suggests she’s never plopped anywhere in her entire life. Back straight, ankles crossed, hands folded in her lap like she’s posing for a painting.

Perfect posture. Perfect skin. Perfect everything, really.

The nasty little voice in your head that sounds suspiciously like your mother starts cataloguing all the ways you don’t measure up to this human ray of sunshine, but you shove it down. Hard.

Not today. Not about this.

Tessa is sweet. She’s nice. She doesn’t deserve your weird insecurity spiral.

“Sorry we barged in,” she says, directing her smile at you with genuine warmth. “We went on a date and I might have gotten too enthusiastic about the ducks.”

You blink. “Ducks?”

“We were at the Hudson,” Jungkook adds from behind her, voice muffled by the way his head’s tilted back. “Riverside Park.”

You crane your neck to look at him. His eyes are closed, dark lashes stark against his cheeks, looking more relaxed than you’ve seen him in weeks.

“Right,” you muse, turning back to Tessa. “Duck enthusiasm. That’s… very nice.”

She laughs, the sound bright and musical. “I know, I know. But they had these tiny babies following their mom, and I literally couldn’t leave. Poor Jungkook had to drag me away after like forty minutes.”

‘Poor Jungkook’ snorts from the couch. “You took seventeen pictures of the same duckling.”

“They were all different angles!” Tessa protests, swatting playfully at his knee.

Jason appears then, bandaid covering the scratch on cheek now (your gift), carrying the proper utensils he’d apparently gone to fetch from the kitchen drawers.

He pauses, scanning the seating situation with the kind of assessment that suggests he’s already figured out the couch real estate problem.

Three cushions. Four people. Math is not on your side.

Tessa notices immediately, because of course she does. Probably has some kind of social awareness superpower that alerts her to other people’s discomfort.

“Oh! Wait, sorry, I didn’t—” She starts to get up, but you wave her back down.

“You’re fine,” you say quickly, because she’s being nice and you don’t need to be superglued to a man all the time, thank you very much. “Jason can take the armchair.”

You nod toward the armchair that’s become your reading spot. The one you’d claimed for tiktok doomscrolling and book binges. The one Jungkook sometimes commandeers for his gaming sessions when he wants to sprawl.

Your armchair, Jungkook’s.

But Jason can borrow it.

Jungkook’s head tilts down from where it was resting against the cushions, and you feel his gaze land on you. HeavyMeasuring. But you keep your eyes on Tessa as you start opening containers, refusing to acknowledge whatever mood he’s radiating.

“This all looks amazing,” Jason says, settling into the chair with his plate. “Thanks for sharing.”

“Jungkook ordered enough to feed half of Brooklyn,” you reply, lifting the lid on what appears to be massaman curry. “Sharing wasn’t exactly optional.”

“I like options,” Jungkook mutters, finally straightening up enough to grab chopsticks. “Sue me.”

“Speaking of options,” Tessa says, clearly determined to maintain cheerful conversation despite the undercurrent of weirdness, “have you guys thought about costumes for my Halloween party yet?”

“Right,” you say, then glance at Jason. “Oh, Tessa’s having this party at her grandparents’ place in Greenwich Village. You should come.”

Jason’s eyebrows lift with interest. “That sounds fun. I’d love to.”

“Yay!” Tessa bounces slightly in her seat. “The more the merrier. It’s going to be amazing—the whole brownstone, plus the rooftop garden. Very atmospheric.”

“Sounds sophisticated,” Jason says, and there’s something in his tone that suggests he appreciates sophisticated things. “What kind of vibe are you going for?”

“Literary and artistic themes,” Tessa explains enthusiastically. “So like, famous writers, movie or book characters, art movements. Very creative crowd.”

“Interesting.” Jason leans forward slightly, clearly intrigued. “That’s much more thoughtful than your typical college party.”

Jungkook’s head tilts slightly up from his crouch towards the coffee table to gather food.

“Yeah,” Jungkook says slowly. “Wouldn’t want anything too pedestrian for the sophisticated crowd.”

His voice is carefully neutral, but you can hear the edge underneath.

Jason just smiles, completely unbothered. “Well, when you’re surrounded by creative people, it makes sense to lean into that energy. Bring out everyone’s artistic side.”

Right,” Jungkook nods, sitting up fully now. “Because college students definitely need help accessing their creative sides. We’re all so repressed and conventional.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Jason says smoothly, and his tone is so reasonable, so patient, that you want to kiss him for putting up with Jung kook’s behavior. “I just think themed parties encourage more thoughtful participation.”

“I think themed parties are fun,” Tessa says quickly, clearly trying to redirect. “Takes the pressure off figuring out what to wear.”

“Exactly,” Jason agrees. “Structure can be freeing.”

“So what are you thinking?” Tessa asks you directly. “Costume-wise?”

“Virginia Woolf, maybe,” you say, because it feels right. “Go full tortured writer aesthetic.”

“Oh, that’s perfect for you!” Tessa beams. “What about you, Jason? Any literary heroes calling your name?”

Jason considers this seriously, like it’s a dissertation topic rather than party planning.

“Maybe someone from the Beat generation? Ginsberg? Or maybe Kerouac?”

“On the Road,” Jungkook says immediately, and there’s something sharp in his voice. “Classic choice for guys who think they’re more profound than they actually are.”

The comment lands like a slap, and you feel your chopsticks freeze halfway to your mouth.

Did he just…?

Did Jungkook just openly insult Jason’s literary taste? To his face?

But Jason doesn’t react the way you expect. Doesn’t get defensive or offended. Just laughs, soft and understanding.

“Fair enough,” he says easily. “Though I’d argue there’s value in the obvious choices sometimes. They’re popular for a reason.”

Which is a perfectly reasonable response that somehow makes Jungkook’s hostility look even more ridiculous by comparison.

“Sure,” Jungkook shrugs, grabbing another spring roll with unnecessary aggression. “If you like surface-level interpretation.”

And okay. Now you’re getting pissed.

Because that was just rude. Completely unprovoked and unnecessarily mean, and Jason is sitting there taking it with more grace than anyone should have to.

Jason, however, just chuckles. Actually chuckles, like Jungkook made a clever observation instead of a character assassination.

“You make an interesting point,” he says, voice perfectly pleasant. “Though I’d argue that dismissing entire literary movements without engaging with their complexity is its own form of intellectual wandering, don’t you think?”

And fuck. That’s good. That’s really good.

Because he just called Jungkook intellectually lazy without actually saying it. Suggested that maybe the problem isn’t with people who appreciate Kerouac, but with people who dismiss things without understanding them.

All while maintaining that calm, reasonable tone that makes him sound like the adult in the room.

Jungkook’s jaw ticks, tongue pressing against his cheek in that way that means he’s recalibrating.

“Right,” he says finally, voice tight. “Complex engagement.”

“Exactly,” Jason agrees warmly, like they’re having a perfectly friendly intellectual discussion. “It’s so easy to make surface judgments about art, isn’t it? Especially when we’re not willing to examine our own biases.”

And there it is. Another perfectly crafted academic smackdown disguised as agreeable conversation.

You’re kind of impressed, honestly. And slightly turned on by watching Jason handle Jungkook’s bullshit with such smooth confidence.

Tessa looks between them, clearly sensing undercurrents she doesn’t understand but gamely trying to keep things light.

“Anyway,” Tessa jumps in, voice bright with forced cheer, “I think Kerouac could work really well, it’s very iconic.”

“Definitely,” you agree, shooting another warning glare at Jungkook. “And easy to pull together costume-wise.”

“What about you, Jungkook?” Jason asks, and his voice is perfectly pleasant. Like the previous exchange never happened. “Any literary figures speaking to you?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Haven’t thought about it.”

“Well, you’ve got time,” Tessa says encouragingly. “The party’s still a few weeks away.”

“With your film background, I’m sure you’ll come up with something creative,” Jason continues smoothly. “Maybe something that plays against type? Subvert expectations a bit?”

And that. That sounds helpful. Encouraging, even.

But Jungkook’s expression darkens like Jason just told him to go fuck himself.

“Fair enough,” Tessa nods. “Though you guys would make a cute literary power couple. Like matching costumes? Maybe, I don’t know, Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes?”

The suggestion hangs in the air for a beat before Jungkook lets out a scoff that’s more of a snort.

“Yeah,” he says. “That’s perfect. Really captures the whole dynamic.”

Your stomach drops. Even you know enough about Plath’s biography to know that’s brutal.

Ted Hughes, the husband who arguably drove her to suicide. The controlling poet who stifled her voice until she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Interesting parallel,” he says mildly. “Though I think most scholars would agree that reducing Plath’s suicide to simple relationship dynamics oversimplifies her mental health struggles. Don’t you think?”

Silence.

Complete, suffocating silence.

Tessa’s face goes white. Her hand flies to her mouth.

“Oh my god, that’s not what I meant at all—”

“Of course not,” Jason says gently, turning that warm smile on her. “You were just thinking about literary partnerships. It’s a sweet idea.”

The contrast is stark.

How quickly he shifted from that measured academic tone to this gentle reassurance.

How easily he pivoted from whatever that exchange with Jungkook was to comforting Tessa.

Jungkook, for his part, just stares at Jason with an expression you can’t read.

“Anyway,” Tessa says, voice pitched higher with forced cheer, “it’s going to be such a fun night! I can’t wait for you all to see the space.”

"When is it again?" you ask, partly to change the subject and partly because you need to know when exactly you're signing up for this social minefield. "Like, what time Thursday night?"

"Oh!" Tessa perks up, clearly relieved to be discussing logistics instead of literary murder-suicides. "Actually, it's more of a long weekend thing. People can come Wednesday evening and stay through Sunday if they want. My grandparents won't be back until Monday, so we have the whole brownstone."

You nearly choke on your pad thai. "Wednesday to Sunday?"

That's five days. Five entire days of whatever this social dynamic is supposed to be.

"I mean, you don't have to stay the whole time!" Tessa adds quickly, clearly picking up on something in your voice. "You can just come Thursday night and leave whenever works for you. I just wanted to give everyone options, you know? Some people are coming from other cities, and it seemed easier than trying to cram everything into one night."

Which makes sense. Perfect sense, actually. Very thoughtful and accommodating.

So why does the idea of spending multiple days in some Greenwich Village brownstone feel like signing up for voluntary social torture?

“Plus,” she continues, “with that International Media & Literature Symposium thing happening all week, everyone’s got Thursday and Friday off anyway. Seemed like the perfect time.”

Oh, the symposium. The massive academic conference that’s taking over half the NYU buildings and giving everyone an unexpected long weekend.

"That's really generous," Jason says warmly. "Having that kind of flexibility makes it much more relaxed."

"Right?" Tessa beams. "No pressure to rush around or worry about getting home late. Just... hang out, enjoy the space, have fun."

You're about to respond—probably something diplomatically noncommittal about checking your schedule—when Jungkook makes a sound.

A stupid sound from his corner of the couch, not looking up from his pad thai but his voice dripping with that particular brand of condescension he saves for when he thinks he’s being insightful.

“Nah. Can’t have her getting out of her tiny, neat, organized boxes in her life.”

Your chest fires up, heat spreading fast and sharp.

The audacity of this motherfucker, sitting there making character assessments like he knows anything about your life beyond the fact that you keep your shit organized and yell at him for leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor.

“Actually,” you say, voice tight, “Jason and I are staying over.”

Jungkook’s hands still completely on his chopsticks.

He’s leaning forward to grab more pad thai from the container, eyes fixed on the food, but his eyebrows rise up in that slow, deliberate way that somehow manages to convey an entire conversation.

Jason blinks, clearly surprised but not unpleasantly so. “That sounds wonderful,” he says after a beat. “If you’re sure it’s not an imposition—”

“Not at all!” Tessa beams, and her enthusiasm seems genuine. “That’s perfect. We’ll have such a good time.”

“It’ll be fun,” you say, directing your smile at Tessa while pointedly ignoring Jungkook’s continued existence. “I haven’t done a proper Halloween in years.”

“Me neither,” Jason agrees, settling back into the armchair with renewed enthusiasm. “This sounds like exactly the kind of thing I needed this semester.”

And it does sound fun.

It sounds like exactly the kind of weekend that people look back on fondly—good friends, beautiful setting, creative energy, time to actually enjoy each other’s company without the constant pressure of deadlines and responsibilities.

The kind of weekend that makes college feel like more than just academic survival.

Fuck Jungkook.

Seriously. Fuck him and his amateur psychological assessments. Fuck his presumptions about your social capabilities and his condescending little expressions.

You’re going to have an amazing weekend. You’re going to prove that you can be spontaneous and social and perfectly capable of extended human interaction.

You’re going to have the time of your fucking life, and Jungkook can choke on his spring rolls while watching it happen.

Yeji’s always fucking late, but you didn’t expect that from Irya.

The coffee shop feels cavernous at eight PM on a weekday. Just you and Jin and the ghost of caffeine dreams past. Empty tables scattered around like abandoned chess pieces, the espresso machine quiet for once in its overworked life.

You’re checking your phone for the third time in five minutes when Jin materializes with two steaming mugs, groaning like he’s carrying the weight of the world instead of just coffee.

“Americanos,” he announces, sliding one across the scarred wooden table. “Because apparently I’m a bartender now, but for people with caffeine addictions instead of drinking problems.”

“Some of us have both,” you mutter, wrapping your hands around the mug. The ceramic burns your palms in the best possible way.

Jin drops into the chair across from you with all the grace of a sack of potatoes. His hair’s ruffled and messed up, which means he’s been trying not to yank it out.

Stress indicator number one.

“Long day?” you ask, even though the answer’s written all over his face.

“Long life.” He takes a sip of his coffee and immediately makes a face. “Fuck, that’s bitter. Why did I choose this profession?”

“Because you love the smell of coffee beans and the dulcet tones of college students complaining about their macchiatos?”

“Right. That must be it.”

The silence spans comfortably in that way that only happens with people who’ve survived multiple group hangs and collective trauma bonding over Yeji’s tendency to start fights with strangers.

“So,” Jin says eventually, “where are the other members of our dysfunctional book club?”

“Irya’s stuck at the cat shelter. Something about an emergency spay.” You check your phone again. Nothing. “And Yeji’s probably outside someone’s women’s studies class, explaining to confused freshmen why their professor’s reading list is an instrument of patriarchal oppression.”

“Ah.” Jin nods sagely. “Weekday night activism. Classic Yeji.”

“Either that or she’s in a screaming match with those anti-choice assholes who camp out by the student center.” Your coffee’s still too hot, but you drink it anyway. Punishment for caring about punctuality. “You know how she gets.”

“I do know how she gets.” There’s something fond and exasperated in Jin’s voice. “Been dealing with that particular brand of righteous fury since she was fourteen and decided the Kim family church was a ‘capitalist institution designed to suppress women’s sexuality.’”

You nearly choke on your americano. “She said that? At fourteen?”

“During Christmas dinner. In front of her grandmother.” Jin’s grinning now, and it transforms his whole face. Makes him look less like a tired small business owner and more like the guy who probably got kicked out of youth group for asking too many questions. “Namjoon’s mom almost had an aneurysm.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah, that’s what the grandmother said. Except she meant it literally.” He leans back in his chair, the wood creaking under his weight. “Yeji’s been like that since birth, I think. Born with a built-in bullshit detector and zero filter.”

That tracks. Yeji’s never met an injustice she couldn’t turn into a personal vendetta or a battle worth fighting.

It’s simultaneously exhausting and admirable.

“Must’ve made family dinners interesting.”

Interesting’s one word for it.” Jin’s expression shifts slightly. “The Kims are… traditional. Conservative Korean values, you know? They had very specific ideas about how their children should behave.”

There’s weight in that statement. The kind of weight that comes from watching people you care about fight battles they can’t win.

“Had?”

“Still have. Yeji just stopped listening.” He shrugs, but there’s something careful in the way he says it. “She moved out at seventeen. Namjoon stuck around through college, then got the professor job and his own place.”

“And they’re okay with that?”

Jin laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Mrs. Kim’s learned to live with disappointment. Her daughter chose her own path instead of the one mapped out for her.” He takes another sip of coffee, makes that face again. “Though she still asks Namjoon when he’s getting married. And why Yeji dresses like she’s auditioning for a vampire movie.”

“At least she’s consistent.”

“Consistently herself, yeah. Even when it pisses everyone off.” There’s pride in his voice now, mixed with that exasperated fondness. “She’s never compromised who she is for anyone. Not for her parents, not for professors, not for anyone.”

You think about that. About being consistently yourself even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it makes other people uncomfortable.

Must be nice. Must be terrifying.

“What about Namjoon?” you ask, because you’re curious and Jin’s in a sharing mood. “Does he get the family disappointment treatment too?”

“Namjoon?” Jin’s expression softens immediately. “Nah. He’s the golden child. PhD, professor, published in actual literary journals. Everything the Kims dreamed of.”

There’s something in his voice when he says Namjoon’s name. Something that makes you study his face more carefully.

“You’re proud of him.”

“Course I am. He’s brilliant. Deserves every good thing that happens to him.” Jin’s fingers drum against the table, restless energy that doesn’t quite match his words. “Plus he’s the only reason his parents don’t completely disown the family. Someone has to carry on the tradition of academic excellence.”

“Lucky for Yeji.”

“Lucky for both of them. Though I think Mrs. Kim’s given up on Yeji ever being conventional.” Jin grins again. “Now she just focuses all her expectations on Namjoon. Marriage, grandchildren, tenure track positions.”

“And you’ve been watching this family drama unfold for how long?”

“Since high school. Namjoon and I have been friends since we were fifteen.” There’s something softer in Jin’s voice now. “The Kims basically adopted me after my parents died. Grandpa tried his best, but he was already getting older, you know? The Kims made sure I had family dinners and someone checking my homework.”

That explains a lot. The easy acquaintance with family dynamics that aren’t his own. The protective fondness when he talks about both siblings.

“That’s sweet of them.”

“Yeah, well. Mrs. Kim’s got a soft spot for strays.” Jin’s trying to sound casual, but there’s real gratitude there. “Even if she doesn’t understand why I chose coffee over law school.”

“You were supposed to be a lawyer?”

“Namjoon and I both were. Had our whole lives planned out—study together, apply to the same programs, probably end up working at the same firm.” Jin shrugs. “Then I realized I’d rather make coffee than billable hours.”

“And Namjoon?”

“Switched to literature. Turns out we both had a rebellious streak.” Jin’s smiling again, unconscious and genuine. “He comes in here every day now. Two PM, right after his morning classes. Orders coffee and sits there for exactly three hours.”

“Working on what?”

“On whatever keeps him busy at the moment.” Jin’s trying to sound casual, but there’s that note in his voice again. “He’s good at it. The writing, I mean. Really good.”

And there it is. The way Jin’s whole demeanor changes when he talks about Namjoon.

Soft and warm like marshmallows.

Like Namjoon’s personal success is somehow Jin’s own victory.

“He comes in every day?”

“Like clockwork. Sets up his laptop, spreads papers everywhere, turns my corner booth into his personal office.” Jin’s fingers are still drumming, faster now. “Makes the place look intellectual.”

Right. Intellectual. Sure.

You’re pretty sure that’s not why Jin reserves a table every afternoon for his academically successful best friend.

Pretty sure it has more to do with the way his voice goes soft when he talks about Namjoon’s writing, or how he knows exactly what time to expect him every day.

But you don’t push.

Your phone buzzes against the table, making both of you jump.

𝐘𝐞𝐣𝐢 🖤: 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎. 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚛𝚘 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝. 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝟷𝟶 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚜.

“Called it,” you say, showing Jin the screen.

He reads it and snorts.

The bell above the door chimes.

“Sorry we’re late!” Irya’s voice floods the empty coffee shop, bright and breathless. “Emergency kitten situation at the shelter, and then this one—” She gestures toward Yeji with her elbow since both her hands are occupied. “—decided to pick a fight with Brad from Sigma Chi about enthusiastic consent.”

“His name wasn’t Brad,” Yeji says, following behind her girlfriend. “It was fucking Bradley. Which is somehow worse.”

And there they are. Yeji in her usual black everything—ripped jeans, oversized sweater, combat boots that could probably be classified as weapons. Dark hair messy in a ponytail that means she doesn’t give a fuck about appearances.

But it’s Irya who makes you do a double-take.

Because she’s holding two tiny bundles of fur against her chest, and they’re making the kind of soft mewling sounds that could probably end wars.

“Oh my god,” you breathe, already pushing back from the table. “Are those…?”

“Kittens!” Irya beams, carefully adjusting her grip. “Meet Biscuit and Gravy. They’re about six weeks old, just got spayed and neutered. I’m fostering them until we can find permanent homes.”

The one on the left—Biscuit, apparently—is orange and white, all fluff and enormous eyes. Gravy’s darker, tortoiseshell pattern with a white chest that makes him look like he’s wearing a tiny tuxedo.

You’re reaching out before you can stop yourself, letting Biscuit sniff your fingers before gently scratching behind his ears. The purr that erupts from his tiny chest is so loud it’s almost comical.

“He likes you,” Irya says, grinning. “Want to hold him?”

Do you want to hold him? Is that even a question?

Thirty seconds later you’re cradling a purring orange fluffball against your chest while he tries to climb up to your shoulder. His tiny claws catch in your sweater, and when he finally makes it to his destination, he immediately starts grooming your hair.

“I think you’ve been claimed,” Yeji observes, dropping into the chair next to Jin. “He’s marking his territory.”

“Shut up,” you mutter, but you’re smiling.

Can’t help it. There’s something about the weight of a kitten against your shoulder that makes everything else fade into background noise.

Jin’s crush situation.

The disaster dinner with Jason and Jungkook.

The Halloween party you’ve committed to.

None of it matters when you’ve got a six-week-old furball purring directly into your ear.

“So,” Irya says, settling into the remaining chair with Gravy still cradled against her chest. “What did we miss? You two look like you were having a deep conversation.”

“Jin was just telling me about his tragic backstory,” you say, shooting him a look that clearly says ‘your secret is safe.’

Jin rolls his eyes. “My tragic backstory of choosing coffee over law school. Very dramatic.”

“The most tragic,” Yeji agrees solemnly. “How will you ever recover from a life of flexible hours and no billable time requirements?”

“It’s a burden I’ll have to bear.”

The easy banter settles over your little group in an instant.

This is why you love these people. Even when everything else in your life feels like it’s spiraling toward chaos, they’re solid. Reliable.

Well. Except for Yeji’s chronic lateness and tendency to start political arguments with strangers. But nobody’s perfect.

“Oh!” You perk up suddenly, remembering. “I have news. Well, Tessa has news. She’s throwing a Halloween party.”

“Tessa?” Irya tilts her head. “Film major Tessa? The one with the gorgeous hair?”

“That’s the one. Her grandparents have this place in Greenwich Village—apparently it’s incredible. She wants to invite everyone.” You pause, stroking Biscuit’s tiny head. “You guys should come.”

“Greenwich Village,” Yeji repeats slowly. “As in, stupidly expensive real estate Greenwich Village?”

“The very same.”

“Well.” Yeji grins, sharp and pleased. “I do love parties thrown by people with more money than sense. When is it?”

“Halloween weekend. We’re staying Wednesday through Sunday.” You shift slightly, trying to prevent Biscuit from climbing inside your sweater. “Costumes are mandatory. She said to bring whoever we want.”

“Lucky timing with that media conference thing,” Yeji mentions. “We all got the long weekend off anyway.”

“Count me out for the weekend,” Jin adds. “I’m taking some well-deserved vacation time. Going 0 contact. All I want to do is sleep.”

Irya claps her hands together—carefully, so as not to disturb Gravy. “This sounds perfect! I love costume parties. And Yeji needs an excuse to wear something that isn’t exclusively black.”

“My wardrobe is a political statement,” Yeji protests.

“Your wardrobe is a commitment to one color palette.”

You’re half-listening to their familiar bickering, more focused on the way Biscuit has now decided your shoulder is the perfect place for a nap. His purring has shifted to that deep, rumbly frequency that supposedly helps heal bones.

Or maybe that’s just bullshit people say to justify letting cats sleep on them.

Either way, you’re not moving.

“So,” Jin says, voice carefully casual. “Will your roommates be there? Jungkook and what’s-his-name?”

“Yoongi. And probably, yeah.” You try not to think about how that dinner ended. “Tessa already counted on Jungkook.”

Because of course she did. Because they’re probably dating now, or something close to it. Because normal, healthy people meet someone they like and actually pursue it.

Good for them.

Really.

“Should be fun,” Irya says brightly. “I love meeting new people. And Tessa seems sweet.”

She is sweet. Genuinely, annoyingly sweet in a way that makes it impossible to dislike her even when you want to.

Which you don’t. Want to dislike her.

Because that would be weird and completely unjustified.

Biscuit shifts against your shoulder, tiny paws kneading your sweater as he settles deeper into sleep. The weight of him is warm and comforting, like a living heating pad.

“Halloween party it is,” you say finally. “Fair warning though—if anyone asks, I had nothing to do with whatever drama inevitably unfolds.”

“Drama?” Yeji perks up with interest. “What kind of drama?”

“The kind that happens when you put a bunch of college students in a fancy house with alcohol and costumes.”

“The best kind, then.”

Yeah. The best kind.

You just hope you survive it.

Chapter 28: 28 | ghostface and medusa

Summary:

"Old wounds dressed up as jokes, new connections sparking under fluorescent lights. Jimin rambles, Yoongi listens too closely, and you realize too late that chemistry doesn’t ask for permission."

Notes:

This chapter is... a lot. Not in the plot twist / cliffhanger way, but in the emotional excavation way. This is the closest we've gotten to seeing Jungkook talk about Mia with any kind of clarity, and I just wanna say—if you're someone who has experienced financial abuse, manipulation, or gaslighting under the disguise of care... I'm sorry. And I hope this chapter feels like a little bit of validation. (ꈍᴗꈍ)

I think there's a really dangerous assumption in fiction (and in life) that if you know you were manipulated, it can't happen again. That once you've healed, you'll spot all the red flags before they're even red. And that's just... not how trauma works. Jungkook does see patterns. And maybe he is overreacting. But maybe he's not. And the point isn't whether Jason is 'bad.' The point is that Jungkook's learned to live in a world where danger wears polite smiles and well-referenced literary opinions. And he's still unlearning the part of himself that blames himself for not catching it sooner.

Phoenix, meanwhile, is still holding onto the idea that awareness = immunity. She's clinging to the belief that if she's smart enough, she'll never end up in the position Jungkook was in — because if she did, what does that say about her agency? Her intellect? Her autonomy? And that's terrifying. So she rationalizes. And explains. And explains. And explains.

But then—bam. We're right back at Jungkook's primary coping mechanism. He's emotionally stripped bare, spiraling mid-vulnerability, and the second it threatens to tip over into too much? He deflects. Hard. With humor, with distraction, with twelve-year-old gamer jokes. And Phoenix clocks it this time. She sees it for what it is. But she lets him have it — not out of pity, but because she doesn't even know what that conversation was building toward, and she's not ready to find out. Neither of them are. And so they go back to banter. Which, in their language, is safer than silence. (。•́︿•̀。)

Meanwhile, scene two. God. Jimin and Yoongi. These two fucktards. They are awkward in entirely different fonts—Jimin with his eager cardigan-wearing sunshine knowledge overload, and Yoongi with his low-battery dry commentary and resting "don't speak to me" face. But the minute you get them talking about plague doctors and Korean horror movies, it's like watching two frequencies suddenly tune into each other. They're not flirting, per se—they wouldn't even recognize it as that—but we, as the readers, do. We see it. We see Jimin's sleeves pushed up and his voice pitch shift, and Yoongi forgetting to be emotionally unavailable for once. They are two shy boys with too many thoughts and no idea how to say them, but it's happening anyway. oops (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

And scene three—listen. I am absolutely feral for characters who don't even realize how much chemistry they have. Like. They think they're just talking and we're like. Bestie. You are leaning in. You are mirroring their body language. You are taunting them with a mask while accidentally exposing your inner film theory brainrot. They don't know. But we do. And that's the delicious part. They're not being flirty on purpose, they're just so deeply familiar with each other's emotional terrain that the sparks happen on accident.

I love writing scenes where subtext screams, and this one was all about that quiet shift in gravitational pull. Like, what do you mean you're just 'testing a theory' by pulling his hair? What do you mean you don't know why that made you both go quiet? What do you mean you're not gonna talk about it after?? (You are. Eventually. You just don't know it yet.) (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

Don't forget to press that kudos button and comment <3

Chapter Text

He's sleeping like a rock when you get home from your cancelled seminar—something about the professor being sick, which honestly tracks because the woman looked like death warmed over last Thursday

He's sleeping like a rock when you get home from your cancelled seminar—something about the professor being sick, which honestly tracks because the woman looked like death warmed over last Thursday.

He's totally passed out on the living room couch, sprawled across the entire length of it, one arm dangling off the edge, fingers nearly brushing the floor. Hair falls across his forehead in messy dark strands, and mouth is slightly open in that way that should be gross but somehow isn't.

The PS5 controller rests on his chest, whilst the TV screen shows the Call of Duty lobby, still logged into ProofedToKill, waiting for him to respawn or join another match or do whatever it is people do when they're not unconscious on furniture.

And nestled on his stomach is Griffin; orange fur bright against Jungkook's dark hoodie, both of them dead to the world.

He looks... young, kind of peaceful too. Like sleep finally gave him permission to let his guard down.

It's cute.

You grab the throw pillow from the armchair—the one that usually lives there specifically so Griffin can claim it as his personal throne—and lob it directly at Jungkook's face.

It hits with a satisfying thump.

Griffin launches off Jungkook's chest like he's been ejected, landing on the floor with surprising grace before immediately trotting toward you, tail high.

"Mmph." Jungkook's eyes flutter open, confusion clouding his features as he swipes at the pillow. "The fuck?"

"Good morning, sunshine," you say as Griffin weaves between your ankles, purring like a motorboat. "Late night conquering digital battlefields?"

He groans, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost eleven."

"Shit."

He sits up, the controller sliding down his chest and landing in his lap. His hair is all ruffled and messy, and and his cheek sports a crease from where he was pressed against the couch cushion.

Your eyes flicker down when Griffin bumps his head against your shin, and you crouch down automatically to scratch behind his ears.

"Didn't mean to pass out here."

"Yeah, well. Your gaming addiction finally caught up with you."

He gives you a look that's half-glare, half-pout. "It's not an addiction. I was just... decompressing."

"Right. By shooting people online until dawn."

"Virtual people," he corrects, like that makes it better. "And it wasn't dawn. Was probably like... three? Four?"

Griffin circles your legs once, twice, then looks up at you expectantly.

He meows, and it's pointed, almost demanding.

You frown. "When's the last time you ate, bub?"

"Couple hours ago," Jungkook says, resting his chin on his hand. "He's been off his food though. Barely touched breakfast."

That makes you pause.

Griffin's never off his food. The cat's an eating machine.

"How long?"

"Day or two." Jungkook sighs. "And his, uh... his litter box situation has been... not great."

You glance down at Griffin, who's still headbutting your knuckles. He looks fine—bright eyes, clean coat, normal energy. But if Jungkook's worried about the litter box...

"Liquid?" you ask.

Jungkook nods, looking almost embarrassed. "Yeah. Tried switching his food yesterday, been making him plain chicken and rice, but he's being picky about it."

Something in your chest tugs.

Because of course Jungkook's already on it. Of course he's making homemade food and monitoring Griffin's bathroom habits like the helicopter cat dad he is.

"Give me like ten minutes," you say, already heading for the kitchen.

"For what?"

"Just because."

You don't wait for his response. Just make a beeline for the kitchen, Griffin trotting behind you like you've promised him something incredible.

The chicken breast is right where you left it two days ago, tucked in the back of the fridge in a container labeled with your name in aggressive sharpie.

You pull it out along with the carrots and the chicken stock you'd picked up at the same time.

You hadn't really thought much about it. But when Taehyung had hinted at Griffin's stomach problems and his delicate overall health, you'd ended up researching cat nutrition.

Nothing major, but it sounded like a good idea.

Just in case.

Not because you care about Griffin. Obviously you care about Griffin.

But not because it means anything significant. Just because... he's a good cat. And Jungkook worries. And it's easier to know things than to be useless when shit goes wrong.

The cutting board comes out along with the knife. You dice the chicken into small pieces, then mince them even finer. The carrots get the same treatment—tiny, uniform pieces that'll cook down soft.

Small pot. Chicken stock. Everything goes in together.

Behind you, you hear Jungkook yawn, peeking over the couch.

"What are you making?"

"Homemade churu," you say, stirring the pot. "Chicken breast and carrots in chicken stock. Helps with digestive stuff."

Silence.

You glance over your shoulder to find him staring at you, expression unreadable.

"What?"

"Nothing." But his voice sounds weird, softer than usual. "You looked that up?"

You shrug, turning back to the stove. "After the whole grocery store thing with Taehyung. Figured I should know what to do if Griffin gets sick and you're not around."

More silence.

The chicken finishes cooking faster than you'd like—because now you're committed to this, and there's no backing out without looking like you care way more than you're willing to admit.

You drain the water, let the chicken cool for thirty seconds, then start shredding it with two forks. The carrot pieces are soft enough to mash, and you add them to the shredded chicken along with a generous pour of chicken stock.

Then you grab the immersion blender from the drawer Jungkook keeps all his weird kitchen gadgets in—because of course he has an immersion blender—and blend everything into a smooth paste.

It looks disturbingly baby-food-like.

Griffin seems thrilled.

"You even know where I keep the piping bags," Jungkook observes.

"You literally have them next to the ziplocs. It's not detective work."

You scoop the paste into a piping bag, twist the top closed, and cut a small opening at the tip. Grab Griffin from the floor, place him on the kitchen table, and of course the cat is already vibrating with anticipation, little paws kneading.

"Okay, Your Majesty," you mutter, squeezing a small amount onto your finger. "Here."

Griffin attacks it like he hasn't eaten in weeks, tiny tongue rasping against your skin as he devours the paste with single-minded determination.

"Jesus, G. Slow down."

He does not slow down.

You squeeze out a bit more directly onto the table—easier than trying to hold still while he mauls your finger—and he gobbles it up just as frantically.

"He's gonna make himself sick again," Jungkook says, but he's smiling.

That stupid soft smile he gets when Griffin does literally anything.

It makes you, stupidly, want to smile too.

"Not my fault he has no self-control," is what you settle for.

Griffin finishes the small portion you gave him and immediately starts licking the table, searching for more.

"That's enough for now," you tell him, moving the piping bag out of reach. "You can have more in a couple hours if you keep it down."

He meows indignantly.

"Don't give me that look. I'm not the one who gave you an upset stomach."

You clean the table with a kitchen cloth, then rinse your hands in the sink, very aware that Jungkook is still looking at you over the couch, sitting there.

"What?" you finally ask, turning to face him.

"Nothing," he says, but he's definitely still smiling. "Just... thanks. For doing that."

You shrug. "It's fine. He was hungry anyway."

"You made cat food."

"Chicken paste."

"For my cat."

"Our cat," you correct without thinking, then immediately want to take it back. "I mean—he lives here. He's technically all of ours. Community cat."

Jungkook's smile gets wider. "Community cat. Right."

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything."

"You don't have to. Your face is saying it."

He laughs. Small and surprised and weirdly fond.

It makes you want to die a little.

"So," you say, "ProofedToKill, huh?"

Jungkook freezes in the middle of stretching his arms over his head. "What?"

"Your gamertag. I saw it the other day when I needed to charge my laptop. Pretty impressive stats, actually."

His eyebrow furrows. "You were snooping on my PlayStation?"

"I was looking for an outlet. Your stats were just... there. On the screen." You shrug. "Crimson rank is decent. What's your K/D ratio again? Like 2.5?"

"2.7," he corrects automatically, then catches himself. "I mean—"

"And you've got what, almost 3000 hours logged? That's dedication. Or unemployment. Hard to tell."

"I'm not unemployed."

"Right. You're creatively underemployed. Very different."

He doesn't respond for a bit, which gives you enough time to rummage for a mug and prepare to make yourself some tea.

"I'm also not creatively underemployed," he says after a while. "I freelance. Weddings, theater shoots, venue promos. Editing projects for NYU kids who don't know Premiere from iMovie. Pays better than you'd think."

You blink at him, steeping now your tea, the way Jason taught you. "So you're basically a glorified wedding crasher with a camera?"

"Phoenix," he groans. "Two weddings in a weekend covers rent. The theater house pays per show, and I get steady checks from editing projects. I make more than some full-timers chained to a cubicle."

He yawns again, rubbing his eye with one hand while he checks the time on his phone like he didn't believe your earlier statement.

"It's good money. Flexible hours. And—" his eyes flick down to your mug "—lets me game enough to keep that 2.7 K/D ratio."

You roll your eyes, then take out the tea infuser when the timer on your phone goes off.

"So you're rich in headshots and wedding vows. Congratulations."

"And somehow, still richer than you, book girl."

"Right," you say sweetly. "Except those random monthly payments you've still got to make because Mia wasn't exactly a book girl. Guess if she'd spent all that energy at Barnes & Noble instead of Bloomingdale's, you wouldn't have a problem."

He opens his mouth, then closes it immediately with an indignant expression.

Shoots you a sharp side-eye, that half-playful, half-don't push it look, like he's weighing whether to be annoyed or impressed, fake disdain in the tilt of his mouth.

You sip your tea deliberately.

"Cute," he mutters, eyes narrowing. "Really cute, Phoenix."

You shrug, unbothered, blowing across the rim of your mug. "Hey, your words. You brought up 'book girl.' I'm just... applying context."

He doesn't snap back right away. Just exhales through his nose, that little huff that's more about buying time than actual annoyance. His head tilts back towards for the TV.

"That's not you applying context" he mutters finally, side-eye sharp but not cutting. "That's you tryna fish for some. You're nosy, Phoenix, I know your patterns."

Your only answer is another sip of tea.

Let him shape the silence however he wants. You digged, true—but you're giving him now the shovel.

His head tilts back in your direction.

"It's not... random payments anymore. Steady ones now, fixed amount every month. It's—" his jaw works as he scratches along it, eyes shifting away "—it's a lot. I've got a... long way to go still."

The room goes quiet for a beat. He's not looking at you, and you know that's as close as he gets to admitting anything that matters.

"So," you say, light, "a hardworking man. Makes me wonder how you've got time to virtually assassinate strangers."

That gets the corner of his mouth twitching again. "Because I'm the shit, obviously. Anyway, why do you care about my gaming habits?"

"I don't. I'm just impressed by your commitment to virtual violence." Bergamot settles on your tongue. "Most people don't dedicate that much time to shooting strangers online."

"You wouldn't get it. There's skill involved. Teamwork. Communication, ya kno'."

"Communication. Mhm, so you mean screaming at twelve-year-olds for not covering your six?"

"I don't scream at twelve-year-olds."

"What about thirteen-year-olds?"

"They should know better by thirteen."

You nearly choke on your tea trying not to laugh. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm competitive," he corrects.

"If you say so."

Griffin meows then, tail flicking as he surveys his domain and judges you both for disturbing his peace, like he's telling you both to shut up.

But you can't deny it sort of feels nice—the kind of easy domestic moment that sneaks up on you when you're not expecting it.

Which is probably why you ruin it.

"So," you say, settling onto one of the bar stools. "Want to talk about Thursday night?"

Jungkook's hand freezes on his phone. "What about Thursday night?"

"The whole thing with Jason. Your little performance."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He stares at his phone with exaggerated focus, like zooming in the random pictures of Griffin he has saved on his phone require his complete attention.

"Really? The Kerouac comments? The surface-level interpretation digs? The Ted Hughes comparison?"

"That was just conversation."

"That was you being an asshole."

Jungkook grabs the PS5 controller once again, jabbing at buttons, and the TV immediately flickers to life, Call of Duty loading screen filling the space between you.

"I'm starting a match," he says, not looking at you.

"Don't you dare deflect by gaming right now."

"I'm not deflecting. I'm gaming. There's a difference."

But you're already moving, already planted directly between him and the TV screen. Arms crossed, tea mug abandoned on the counter, fully committed to this confrontation whether he wants it or not.

"Move, Nix."

"No."

"I'll play around you."

"You'll look like an idiot."

"Wouldn't be the first time."

He tries to peer around your shoulder, controller tilted at an awkward angle, but you shift to block his view.

This is too important to let him hide behind virtual warfare.

"What was that for?" you demand. "The whole hostile interrogation thing. Jason didn't do anything to you."

Jungkook's jaw ticks, fingers tightening on the controller. "Can we not do this?"

"Do what? Have a conversation like adults?"

"Have a conversation where you pretend not to understand why I reacted the way I did."

"I genuinely don't understand."

He sets the controller down carefully, like he's afraid he might throw it otherwise.

When he looks at you, his expression is flat.

"You already know I don't like him."

"Yeah, but—"

"So why are you surprised that I acted like I don't like him?"

"Because there's not liking someone and then there's being actively hostile to them in your own living room," you snap. "Jason was perfectly polite. He was trying to be friendly, and you just... attacked him."

"I didn't attack anyone."

"You insulted his taste in literature. To his face. While he was eating food in our apartment."

Jungkook stands up abruptly, pacing toward the windows like he needs physical distance from this conversation.

"First off, you brought him to my apartment."

"Our apartment."

"My apartment too," he corrects, spinning to face you. "My space that I pay rent for and live in and generally expect not to be ambushed by people I specifically told you give me bad vibes."

There it is. The bad vibes. His favorite excuse, like his intuition is some kind of spiritual Wi-Fi that's never wrong.

Your chest fires up, defensive instincts kicking in. "I asked if anyone was home! I texted the group chat!"

"And I didn't see it," Jungkook replies, voice rising slightly. "So thanks for the consideration, but it was still a surprise to me. A surprise that involved walking into my living room and finding you making out with someone who sets off every single one of my internal alarm systems."

You freeze.

Because that line—that's not casual dislike. That's not 'I don't like his shirt.' That's deeper.

Something that sounds almost... afraid.

"What alarm systems?" you ask, voice quieter now.

Jungkook runs both hands through his hair, tugging at the ends in a gesture that looks painful. "Nix."

"That's me."

"He's controlling."

You blink.

The word that turns the air inside-out.

"What?"

"He's controlling, and manipulative, and he's got you so fucking turned around that you can't even see it happening."

You actually choke out a sound—half a scoff, half disbelief. "You've officially lost it."

"Have I? When's the last time you made tea the way you used to? Before he came over and taught you the 'proper' way to do it?"

Your mouth opens, then closes.

Because he's not wrong.

You have been making tea differently. Following Jason's instructions about water temperature and steeping time and proper technique.

But that's not controlling. That's just... learning. Improvement.

"What about your assignment? The one you were working on together? Did he let you choose the topic, or did he guide you toward something he preferred?"

"He suggested the comparative analysis because he thought I'd—"

"He thought you'd what? Be good at it? Or he thought you'd be more likely to need his help with it?"

Your stomach clenches. "You're being paranoid."

"Am I?" Jungkook sighs deeply like it comes from the deepest part of his soul. "Tell me about the scratch on his cheek, because I know my son's claws when I see them."

"He—" You stop.

Because Jason had petted Griffin even when the cat had given clear signals that he didn't want to be touched. Even when Griffin was hissing and backing away.

But that's not controlling. That's just... not understanding cats. Being unfamiliar with their body language.

"He wanted to pet Griffin because I like him," you say weakly. "He was trying to connect with something important to me."

"Right. And I'm sure that ended with him somehow making the conversation about consent and boundaries while framing himself as the respectful, mature guy who knows better than a hissing cat."

You swallow, at a loss for words.

It wasn't... It wasn't like that, was it?

Yeah, okay—Jason had used Griffin's reaction to pivot into that moment where you were checking his scratches, where the tension built, where you ended up kissing him.

But that doesn't mean it was calculated? That just means he handled an awkward situation gracefully.

"You're reading into things," you say, but your voice lacks conviction.

"Am I?" Jungkook's voice drops, becoming quieter but somehow more intense. "Tell me something, Nix. When you're with him, do you feel smarter? Or do you feel like you need to be smarter?"

You—always mouthy, always first to say what's on your mind—suddenly struggle with words.

Because the answer is the second one.

You do feel like you need to be smarter around Jason. Need to prove you're worth his intellectual attention. Need to demonstrate that you can keep up with his references and insights and academic expertise.

But that's just... that's just because he is smart, and he challenges you to think more deeply about things. It's not manipulation.

That's... That's growth.

"I think you're projecting," you say finally.

"Jesus Christ." He turns away, hands clenching into fists at his sides. "You think I don't know that? You think I haven't considered that maybe I'm just fucked up and paranoid?"

The pain in his voice stops you short.

"Rogue—"

"No, you want to have this conversation? Let's have it." He spins back to face you, and his eyes are bright with something that might be tears or might be rage. "You want to know why I reacted the way I did to your perfect, polite, academically sophisticated boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Whatever he fucking is." He spits out. "You want to know why every single thing about him makes my skin crawl?"

"Yes, that would—"

"That whole fucking Ted Hughes thing, bro! I made a stupid comment, okay? I was being a dick because I hate him and I wanted to piss him off. Sue me!" He makes a disbelieving sound. "So yes I made a snarky comment implying poets being the perfect costume because you're both literary nerds or whatever."

He doesn't even pause, words tumbling out faster.

"I didn't know the whole fucking backstory about domestic abuse and suicide, okay? I was being petty and ignorant, but I am not cruel and I do not fucking joke about mental health. I'm not stupid, contrary to what you might believe—"

"I don't think you're stupid."

Jungkook stops pacing for half a second.

Swallows like he's processing what you said.

Then he's off again.

"But your boy Jason? He made sure you knew exactly how insensitive and horrible I was being. Gave this whole lecture about Plath's mental health struggles and reducing suicide to relationship dynamics." His voice takes on that mocking academic tone. "Made himself look like the smart, sensitive guy who actually understands literature while I looked like some frat bro making jokes about women killing themselves."

Your chest feels tight.

"Then what does he do? Immediately turns to comfort your friend—"

"Your girlfriend," you snap, because why is he making this about you when Tessa was his date?

"—not my girlfriend, anyway, he reassures her that of course she didn't mean anything bad. Made me look like a piece of shit to both my friend and my date. Then presented himself as the good guy to both of you as well. Comforted Tessa, smiled at you. Two birds, one perfectly intellectual stone."

He stops pacing, turning to face you directly.

"It's exactly what Mia used to do, Nix. She'd take something one of my friends said or did—maybe they were late to something, maybe they forgot to call back, maybe they made some stupid joke—and she'd twist it. Make it seem like they didn't really care about me. Like they were bad influences. Like I deserved better friends."

The apartment feels too quiet suddenly. Too small.

"She'd be all concerned and supportive about it. 'I just think Taehyung's been really flaky lately, don't you? I hate seeing him treat you that way.' '*Did you notice how Hobi didn't even ask how your presentation went? That's not how real friends act.' 'Yoongi hasn't even congratulated you for that project. Maybe he's jealous of you.' His voice gets softer, more raw. "She made me think my friends were the problem. That they didn't really give a shit about me."

Your mouth feels dry.

"By the time I realized what was happening, I'd pulled back from everyone. Stopped hanging out as much, stopped calling, stopped trusting them when they tried to tell me something was wrong." He laughs bitterly. "Perfect isolation. Made me think it was my idea."

"Jason wasn't trying to isolate anyone," you say, but it sounds weak even to your own ears.

"He made me look like a piece of shit to you. Made sure you'd think twice before trusting my judgment about anything." Jungkook runs both hands through his hair. "Classic move, Nix. Make the person you want to control think their friend is toxic."

"That's way too—"

"For fuck's sake, I've been here before, Nix. I've sat in rooms with someone who sounds exactly like him. Someone who uses the same reasonable tone and the same intellectual superiority and the same subtle corrections as helpful suggestions."

His voice cracks slightly on the last word.

"I've been in conversations where every single response was designed to make me feel smaller, stupider, less capable of making my own decisions."

You want to interrupt, want to tell him that Jason isn't like that, but something in his expression stops you.

He swallows harder, like there's a tide building up inside him and he wants to choke it out, but he can't.

He can't, because then he glances at you, and he's speaking again.

It doesn't slide off his lips so much as it erupts—half-yelled, half-choked, the sound of someone who's stopped thinking mid-sentence and just started bleeding emotion instead.

"She got me into debt, Nix. Like, serious debt. Credit cards I didn't even know existed until collectors started calling."

The sudden topic change makes goosebumps rise on your skin.

Because Jungkook doesn't do this.

He doesn't open up, he doesn't speak about his shit, doesn't give shape to his past—at least not to you.

Your stomach drops. "What?"

"Took them out in my name. Forged signatures, probably, or maybe she just knew enough of my information to do it online." He exhales. "I was so fucking trusting back then. Gave her access to everything—my laptop, my mail, my social security number for 'emergencies.'"

You try to swallow around the knot that's formed on your throat.

"How much?" you ask, though you're not sure you want to know.

"Forty-seven thousand." The number comes out flat, matter-of-fact. "Mostly shopping. Designer shit, expensive dinners, weekend trips I thought we were splitting but turns out were entirely on my credit."

Jesus Christ. Forty-seven thousand dollars. That's more than some people make in a year.

"And the worst part?" Jungkook continues. "She made it seem reasonable. Every purchase. Every decision. She'd show me the bills after the fact, all concerned and apologetic, like 'Oh Kooky, I think there might be an error on your statement,' and then explain why each charge was actually necessary. Or justified. Or my fault somehow."

You don't know what to say.

So maybe it's best to let him get it out of his chest.

"The groceries were expensive because I liked organic food. The clothes were pricey because I'd complained about her wearing the same dress to multiple events. The hotel upgrades were my idea because I'd mentioned wanting to make good impressions on her friends."

"But you didn't actually say any of those things."

"That's just it—I did. Sort of. I'd make some offhand comment about liking fresh produce, and three months later that became 'Jungkook insists on shopping at Whole Foods.' I'd notice she wore the same outfit twice, and suddenly that meant I was embarrassed by her wardrobe."

He turns to face you, and his eyes are red-rimmed.

"She was so fucking good at taking tiny grains of truth and building entire narratives around them. And then presenting those narratives back to me like they were my own thoughts. My own decisions. My own fault."

Your chest feels heavier now, pressed down with the weight of what he's just shared.

"How long did it take you to figure it out?"

"Too long." He mutters. "Even after I found the statements, even after I saw the charges, she convinced me it was a misunderstanding. That we could work it out together. That leaving would just make everything harder for both of us."

"But you did leave."

"Eventually. When Griffin got sick and she forgot to take him to the vet because she was too busy shopping for another fucking weekend trip." His voice hardens. "That's when I realized she'd rather let my cat suffer than interrupt her spending spree."

And that makes... A lot of sense.

Griffin's expensive food, Jungkook's obsessive attention to his diet, Taehyung's encyclopedic knowledge of cat care requirements.

It's not spoiling—it's guilt.

It's making up for the time Griffin almost died.

"I'm sorry," you say, and mean it.

"Yeah, well." Jungkook shrugs, but the gesture is hollow. "I'm still paying it off. Probably will be for the next three years. Turns out financial abuse is really hard to prove when you technically gave someone access to your accounts."

Three years.

Three. Fucking. Years.

He's going to be dealing with the consequences of Mia's manipulation for three more years.

"That's why you work so much," you realize. "All the freelance stuff, the editing gigs..."

"Every extra dollar goes to credit card payments." He moves back to the couch, collapsing onto it like the conversation has physically drained him. "So yeah, when I see someone using knowledge and expertise to subtly redirect conversations, when I watch them position themselves as the authority on subjects you're interested in, when I notice them making you second-guess your own preferences..."

He trails off, looking at you with an expression that's equal parts pain and frustration.

"It fucking terrifies me, Nix. Because I know how this story ends. I've lived it. I'm not crazy, Nix. I'm not making this up. And if you think I'm going to sit quietly and watch someone do to you what was done to me, you're wrong."​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

It's a plea for understanding you're not sure you can give.

Because you get him. You do. You understand the paranoia, the way he sees danger in people just being people. You know that look in his eyes when he talks about Mia—hell you saw it firsthand back at the karaoke place, like he's still half-stuck there, reliving it on a loop he can't shut off.

But understanding him doesn't mean he's right.

It doesn't mean you have to let his trauma dictate your reality.

And yeah, maybe Jason does remind him of her. Maybe it's the way he talks—too polished, too thoughtful, too sure of himself. Or the way he pays attention, the kind that feels almost studied.

But that doesn't automatically make Jason a villain in his sequel.

People aren't carbon copies.

Just because someone once smiled before they wrecked him doesn't mean every smile is a warning sign.

Jason's—well, he's a little much. The academic thing. The long tangents about literature and postmodern irony like he's auditioning for a podcast nobody asked for.

But he's also kind and respectful and genuinely interested in your thoughts and opinions. He hasn't done anything outrightly manipulative that's thrown you off.

So maybe the problem isn't Jason.

Maybe it's the ghost that's still squatting in Jungkook's head, rearranging the furniture every time someone new walks in.

And okay, yeah. You could be wrong. You've been wrong before. But his fear isn't a compass; it's a wound that won't close.

You draw a slow breath.

"Rogue," you start carefully, voice steady but not cold, "I hear what you're saying. But I think you might be seeing things that aren't there."

And maybe that's cruel.

But so is letting him live inside a story that already ended.

His shoulders slump slightly. "Of course you do."

You jump in fast, too fast, like if you clarify it quick enough, you won't bruise the space between you.

"Not because you're crazy," you say. "Just because... Jason's not like that. He's awkward, for fuck's sake. Half the time he adjusts his glasses when he's nervous. How is someone who blushes when I compliment his tea knowledge supposed to be some master manipulator?"

Like, seriously. If Jason's secretly a narcissistic sociopath, he's hiding it behind a lot of chamomile facts and dorky sweaters.

But Jungkook doesn't smile. Doesn't crack even a little.

"Mia blushed too," he says. "When it served her purpose."

And there it is. The comparison. The weight of it. The assumption that people are puzzles with the same solution over and over.

"That's different."

"Is it?"

You cross your arms. "Yes. Because Jason actually cares about the things he's teaching me. He's not doing it to control me, he's doing it because he's passionate about literature and tea and... I don't know, sharing knowledge."

"And how do you know the difference?"

The question catches you off guard.

Because the answer is... you just do? You can tell when someone's being genuine versus manipulative. You're not some naive girl who falls for every smooth-talking guy who shows interest.

You're not naive. You've made choices. Own them. You chose your own classes. Your own friends. Your own goddamn birth control.

You got an IUD and didn't tell anyone, not because it was a secret, but because it was yours. Your decision. Your body. Your life.

You don't let people run you.

"Because I'm not an idiot," you say finally. "I can tell when someone's trying to control me."

But the way Jungkook looks at you—soft, almost sad—makes something twist in your ribs.

It's not condescending. It's not angry.

It's pity.

"I thought I could tell too," he says.

That stings. More than it should. Because it's not a jab. It's a confession. He's not doubting you—he's warning you. From the wreckage.

"I'm not you, Ro."

"No," he says quietly. "You're not. But the patterns... they're the same, Nix."

You don't respond. Not right away.

Because what the fuck are you supposed to say to that?

That he's wrong? That he's broken in ways you're not?

That just because his past bled out everywhere doesn't mean yours will?

"When's the last time he asked for your opinion without offering his own first?"

You open your mouth to answer, then close it.

You can't think of a specific example. Not because it hasn't happened, just because... most of your conversations with Jason have been him sharing knowledge. Teaching you things. Showing you better ways to approach literature or tea or whatever topic comes up.

Which is nice. Educational.

...Normal?

"He cares about accuracy," you say thoughtfully. "He wants me to get the most out of things."

Jungkook's sigh is its own sound. "Right."

He picks up the PS5 controller again, doesn't turn anything on. Just holds it like it's anchoring him.

"Look," he says, and his voice has softened again. Like this matters. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's exactly what he seems like—a nice guy who happens to know a lot about stuff and wants to share it with you."

"He is."

Jungkook nods once, but he's not buying it. "Okay. But just... remember what I told you?"

You nod too. Slower. More reluctant. "Yeah. To be careful around him."

"No. Well, yes. But not just that." He leans forward, elbows on knees, controller still dangling loosely from his fingers. "Just... pay attention. To how you feel around him. Not how you think you should feel. How you actually feel."

Your brows knit. "What do you mean?"

He hesitates for just a second. "Like... do you feel... bigger around him? Or smaller?"

The question hits somewhere deep in your chest. Because the honest answer is... complicated.

Around Jason, you feel smarter in some ways. More sophisticated. Like you're accessing parts of yourself you didn't know existed.

But you also feel... aware. Constantly aware of whether you're keeping up, whether your responses are insightful enough, whether you're proving yourself worthy of his attention.

Which isn't the same thing as feeling smaller.

Is it?

"I feel challenged," you say finally. "Like he pushes me to think more deeply about things."

"Challenged. Okay." Jungkook fiddles with the controller buttons, not looking at you. "And when you disagree with him? How does that go?"

You pause. "We haven't really... disagreed about anything major."

"Because you agree with everything he says, or because you don't want to risk conflict?"

"Because we have similar tastes."

"Do you?"

The question doesn't land—it lodges.

Somewhere between your collarbones, in the space where doubt has been quietly stretching its legs for a while now.

Jungkook shrugs, finally looking back at you. "It's fine I just... I've gotten pretty good at overthinking lately. Occupational hazard of having your reality systematically dismantled by someone who claimed to love you."

The raw honesty in that statement makes your chest ache,

"Ro..."

You don't even know what you're trying to say. Maybe nothing. Maybe just 'I see you.' Maybe 'that shouldn't have happened to you.' Maybe 'fuck, I wish I didn't care that you said that.'

But he's already backing out.

"It's fine," he cuts in, fast and clipped like a door slamming shut. "I'm fine. Just... hypervigilant about red flags now. Even when they're probably not actually red flags."

There's something bitter in the way he says it—self-aware and exhausted, like he's tired of his own alarm bells.

You shift, about to reply, but he doesn't give you the chance.

He clicks the controller, the menu beeping like a social cue. Deflection in high definition.

"Anyway—wanna watch me get my ass kicked by twelve-year-olds? Might restore your faith in my judgment."

The pivot is so fast it gives you whiplash.

This is what he does. Retreats when things start getting too close to the marrow. Wraps it all in humor, changes the subject, offers you a lifeline back to the surface before either of you has to name what just happened.

And maybe he thinks he's doing you a favor.

Maybe he is.

Because, truthfully?

This conversation was starting to make you question things you weren't questioning in the first place.

And you don't know how to feel about that.

Because your life is already complicated enough, and you're not looking to add mess. Not looking to detangle someone else's trauma from your relationship.

So maybe this is easier.

Maybe he's giving you an out.

And you're not too proud to take it.

"Only if you promise to rage quit spectacularly," you say, sliding back onto your bar stool like you haven't just been emotionally sucker punched.

"I don't rage quit," he says, fake-offended.

"You literally threw the controller at the wall last month."

"That was me expressing my emotions like a mature adult."

"That was a temper tantrum," you shoot back, arching a brow.

He grins. The kind that reaches his eyes this time. "Potato, po-tah-to."

And just like that, you're back.

Back to safe banter. Back to playful insults and easy rhythm. Back to the version of him that makes sense—cocky, annoying, warm in a way that doesn't require eye contact with your own reflection.

Back to the version of you that knows exactly who she is: sharp, independent, in control.

But even as he launches into the game, some of the tension finally leaving his shoulders...

You can still feel the question, lodged behind your ribs.

Do you feel bigger around him? Or smaller?

One week of Jungkook asking you what costume he should wear, and you're ready to commit actual murder

One week of Jungkook asking you what costume he should wear, and you're ready to commit actual murder.

"Remind me why I always end up going shopping for shit with you against my will?" you mutter, sidestepping a plastic skeleton that's somehow ended up in the middle of the aisle despite the fact that Halloween isn't for another week and this warehouse is supposed to have some semblance of organization.

"Because you secretly love it," Jungkook replies without missing a beat, picking up a rubber zombie mask and holding it up to his face. "Look, I'm you before coffee."

"I absolutely fucking do not." You snatch the mask away from him and hang it back on its hook with more force than necessary.

"Yeeeeet..." His eyebrows rise as he presses his lips together, looking you up and down with his palms spread in that infuriating gesture that basically screams 'but here you are'. "Here you are. On a Tuesday afternoon. In a costume warehouse. With me."

You scoff and push past him, making a beeline for Yoongi who's walking alongside Jimin up ahead, both of them examining what appears to be a display of medieval weaponry with detached interest, which may suggest they're questioning every life choice that led them to this moment.

"Can we ditch Jungkook somewhere on the way?" you ask, hooking one arm through Yoongi's and the other through Jimin's like you're forming some kind of human chain of solidarity. "I promise I won't tell the police."

Yoongi doesn't even blink. "What's the plan? Leave him in the zombie section? He'd probably fit right in."

"I was thinking more like the kids' costume area," you reply. "Seems more his intellectual speed."

"Hey," Jimin looks mildly horrified, his eyes wide behind his glasses. "That is so mean. I'm sure he's nice when you get to know him."

You and Yoongi exchange a look over Jimin's head.

Sweet, innocent Jimin who probably still believes in the fundamental goodness of humanity and has never had to live with Jungkook's particular brand of stupidity.

"Jimin," you say gently, "have you ever seen him try to make breakfast?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Have you ever heard him practice guitar at two in the morning?"

"I mean, artists need to create when inspiration strikes—"

"Have you ever watched him argue with a cat about territorial rights to a couch?"

Jimin opens his mouth, then closes it.

"Okay, that one's pretty weird."

Behind you, Jungkook's voice carries over the ambient noise of the warehouse as he loudly explains something to Taehyung about literary costumes.

Because apparently Taehyung has been tasked with finding matching outfits for himself and Irika, and judging by his tone, he's taking this responsibility very seriously.

"I'm just saying," Taehyung's voice drifts over, "if we're going as Morticia and Gomez, I need to make sure the mustache doesn't look ridiculous."

"All mustaches look ridiculous," Jungkook replies. "That's the point."

"Easy for you to say. You're probably going as something safe like Dracula."

"I am not going as Dracula!"

You tune them out and focus on the more pressing matter of Yoongi being here at all.

"Anyway," Yoongi says, slowing his pace and looking around the warehouse. "Why am I even coming to this party? I'm not even in NYU. I hate parties. I hate drunk people. I especially hate drunk people in costumes."

"Because Tessa said it was an arts and literature themed party," you reply smoothly. "Music production is art."

Yoongi gives you a look that could wither plants. "You're bullshitting me."

"Am I?"

"Yes. That's not a real reason and you know it."

"Fine." You sigh dramatically. "Because I don't want to be alone dealing with Jungkook's ass all weekend."

"But you won't be alone," Yoongi points out with his trademark deadpan logic. "You'll have Jason. And Yeji and Irya."

"Bold of you to assume Yeji won't be too busy picking verbal fights with random people to actually hang out with me," you deflect.

Yoongi considers this. "Fair point. What about Jimin?"

You glance at Jimin, who's currently examining a wizard staff with gentle reverence, and feel a pang of protective affection for his pure soul.

"He's too sweet," you say, squeezing both their arms tighter. "Look at him. If Jungkook starts being an ass, Jimin will probably just make excuses for his behavior and try to find the deeper meaning in his dickishness."

"Hey!" Jimin protests, finally looking up from the wizard staff. "I don't make excuses for people. I just... try to understand different perspectives."

"See?" You gesture at him with your free hand. "He's too much of a decent person. He'd probably tell me to 'consider Jungkook's motivations' or some shit like that."

"I would not!" Jimin pauses. "I mean, I might suggest trying to understand where he's coming from, but that's not the same thing as making excuses."

Yoongi makes a noncommittal sound. "It kind of is."

"Plus," you continue, using your human anchors to steer the group toward a display of literary character costumes, "Jungkook's actually decent to people he doesn't live with. He's not going to be actively annoying around you guys. I need witnesses to his true character."

"That's..." Jimin blinks. "That's actually kind of concerning."

"Welcome to my life," Yoongi says flatly. "And okay, fine. I'll come. But only because the alternative is listening to you complain about it for the next month."

"Plus we invited Hobi too," you add, because you're not completely heartless. "So you won't be the only non-NYU person there. He said he might stop by after his studio closes."

Yoongi nods approvingly. "Good. Hobi's the only one who doesn't make me want to invest in noise-canceling headphones."

"That's because Hobi's actually evolved past the emotional maturity of a twelve-year-old," you reply. "Unlike some people we could mention."

"I heard that!" Jungkook calls from somewhere behind you.

"Good!" you call back without turning around. "It was meant for you!"

You hear Taehyung snicker, followed by what sounds like Jungkook making an offended noise.

"Okay, but seriously," Jimin says, apparently determined to steer this conversation back to more wholesome territory, "what's everyone thinking for costumes? I was considering going as Edgar Allan Poe, but that might be too obvious for an English student."

"You should go as a romantic poet," you suggest. "Really lean into the sensitive intellectual thing you've got going on."

Jimin turns bright red. "I don't have a 'thing' going on."

"Bullshit," Yoongi says matter-of-factly. "You've got that whole soft scholarly vibe. People probably write poetry about you."

If possible, Jimin turns even redder. "That's not—people don't think of me like that."

"Jimin," you say gently, "you're cute, you're smart, you get excited about bookmarks, and you wear cardigans. You're basically designed for people with a thing for the bookish type."

"I don't wear that many cardigans," he mumbles.

"You're wearing one right now," Yoongi points out.

Jimin looks down at his cream-colored cardigan like he's just now noticing it exists. "This is different. It's cold out."

"Uh-huh." You pat his arm sympathetically. "Sure it is."

"Can we please change the subject?" Jimin pleads. "What about you? What are you going as?"

You swallow thickly. Because the truth is, you figured Virginia Woolf would match Jason's intellectual vibe, and so it would be perfect.

But there's something about...

"I was thinking Virginia Woolf," you say finally, and it comes out more tentative than you'd like.

Yoongi squints. "Who the fuck is that?"

Before you can even roll your eyes, Jimin perks up like someone's just handed him an essay question. "She was an early twentieth-century modernist writer. Really important in stream-of-consciousness literature. Known for novels like Mrs. Dalloway and To the Lighthouse."

Yoongi hums, tipping his head slightly in Jimin's direction. "Stream of... what?"

"Stream of consciousness," Jimin explains, warming up now, cardigan sleeves pushed back like he's about to start lecturing. "Basically trying to capture the way thoughts actually flow, all messy and fragmented. No neat beginnings or endings—just... thought spirals."

Yoongi's eyebrows lift a fraction.

"That's... kind of cool." He doesn't say it with his usual dryness. It's softer, almost curious, like he actually wants to know more.

"Yeah," Jimin says, and his smile is shy but bright. "It's hard to pull off, but she was brilliant at it."

You blink at the two of them, fighting the urge to make a disbelieving sound because Yoongi doesn't look bored out of his skull for once.

Which is something you've never seen when you are in his vicinity, okay.

"Huh," Yoongi says finally, smirking faintly in your direction. "So... Dramatic. Fits you."

"Fuck you, I'm delightful."

"When you're unconscious, maybe."

"I'm standing right here."

"I know."

You're about to come up with a suitable retort when Jungkook's voice snags your attention, suddenly much closer than it was before.

"What about couples costumes?" he asks, and you turn to find him and Taehyung have caught up to your little group. "Anyone thinking about doing a matched set?"

"I already told you," Taehyung says with the patience of someone who's had this conversation multiple times, "Iri and I are doing Morticia and Gomez. It's classic, it's elegant, and it gives me an excuse to wear all black."

"What about you, Nix?" Jungkook asks, and there's something in his tone that makes you immediately suspicious. "Matching with Jason?"

You tighten your grip on Yoongi and Jimin's arms, using them as human anchors against whatever verbal trap Jungkook is setting.

"I mean, I don't know," you say carefully. "It's kind of early for matching costumes. We're just... seeing each other."

"Situationship," Jungkook corrects with a smirk that makes you want to flick him in the forehead.

"Like you're any better," you shoot back. "At least I'm not spending forty-eight dollars on shampoo to impress someone."

Jungkook sticks his tongue out at you like the actual child he is, which only proves your point about his emotional maturity.

"That shampoo is an investment in my hair health."

"Right. Hair health. That's definitely what you were thinking about."

"Unless..." His eyes gleam with what you're beginning to recognize as his particular brand of mischief. "You want to do a group costume? All of us together?"

"Absolutely not."

"Come on, it could be fun. We could be the Scooby-Doo gang. I call Shaggy."

"No."

"The Avengers?"

"Still no."

"The cast of Friends?"

"Jungkook, I would rather go naked than coordinate a group costume with you."

"That could work too," he says with a grin that's absolutely wicked. "Very sophisticated."

You turn your head towards him slowly, narrow your eyes. Yoongi makes a sound that might be a laugh or might be the noise people make when they're trying not to choke on their own spit.

"I'm leaving," you announce. "Yoongi, Jimin, you're with me. We're going to find you guys something that doesn't require me to pretend I enjoy Jungkook's company for an entire evening."

"Bold of you to assume you don't already do that every day!" Jungkook calls after you as you march toward the far end of the warehouse.

You don't dignify that with a response, mostly because he's not entirely wrong, and you're not admitting that anywhere near him.

You unhook your arms from them and drift toward some rack of costumes, letting them have whatever weird moment is happening behind you.

But you can't help but listen.

Because there's something in Jimin's voice when he speaks—softer than usual, with this eager undertone that makes your ears perk up like Griffin when he hears the can opener.

"That's actually really interesting," Jimin is saying, and you glance over your shoulder to see him gesturing at a particularly elaborate plague doctor mask that Yoongi just flicked with one finger. "The whole plague doctor aesthetic. It's based on actual 17th-century medical practices, you know? They thought the long beaks would protect them from 'bad air.'"

Oh?

Oh, this is interesting.

Jimin's got that slightly breathless quality to his voice that he gets when he's talking about something he's passionate about. Usually it's literature or obscure historical facts, but apparently medieval medical equipment also does it for him.

And Yoongi... Yoongi's not walking away.

Which is weird, because Yoongi usually has the attention span of a goldfish when it comes to anyone's academic interests that aren't directly related to sound engineering.

"Yeah?" Yoongi says, and his voice is doing that thing where he's trying to sound casual but you can tell he's actually interested. "That's... stupid. The bad air thing."

"Right?" Jimin's face lights up, and you have to physically turn back to the witch hats to keep from staring. "It's all based on this theory called miasma—basically the idea that diseases were caused by 'noxious air' from rotting organic matter. Completely wrong, obviously, but it led to some really fascinating cultural developments."

You pick up a pointed black hat and examine it like it's the most interesting thing you've ever seen, when really you're straining to catch every word of this conversation.

Because this is not how you expected this shopping trip to go.

"Huh." There's a pause, and you can practically feel Yoongi processing this information. "You know a lot about... medieval shit."

Smooth, Yoongi. Real smooth.

"I read a lot," Jimin says, and there's this shy laugh in his voice that makes something warm and amused flutter in your chest. "Probably too much. My friends always say I retain the most random information."

"It's not random if it's interesting."

Did Yoongi just... Was that almost a compliment? From Yoongi? Who considers most human interaction a necessary evil?

You abandon all pretense of hat shopping and edge closer to a display of fake ravens, positioning yourself where you can see them in your peripheral vision without being obvious about it.

Jimin is fidgeting with the sleeve of his cardigan, that soft cream one that makes him look like he stepped out of an autumn catalog. And Yoongi is standing with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, but his usual 'get me out of here' posture has relaxed into something that might actually be called engaged.

"Do you..." Jimin starts, then stops, then starts again. "Do you watch a lot of horror movies? Because the plague doctor thing shows up in a lot of modern horror. There's this really interesting evolution from historical medical practices to contemporary fear imagery."

And there it is. The opening. The little bridge between Jimin's academic interests and something that might actually overlap with Yoongi's world.

Because you know for a fact that Yoongi has a thing for horror movies. Not the gory, jump-scare bullshit, but the atmospheric, psychological stuff that requires actual thought and attention to detail.

Yoongi tilts his head slightly, it's what you've seen him do before when he's listening to a track for the first time and trying to figure out what makes it work.

"Some," he says, which is Yoongi-speak for 'yes, and I have opinions about it.' "Depends on the movie."

"Right, there's so much garbage out there," Jimin says, and his voice picks up momentum. "But when it's done well... Like, have you seen The Wailing? It's this Korean horror film that uses traditional folklore but updates it for modern anxieties about disease and contamination."

Your eyebrows shoot up, because you're having a hard time processing the fact that Jimin knows Korean horror.

Sweet, cardigan-wearing, library-working Jimin watches movies that probably gave you nightmares for weeks.

The surprises just keep coming, huh.

"Yeah," Yoongi says, and there's something almost surprised in his voice. "That one's good. Fucked up ending."

"Right?" Jimin's whole face animates when he gets excited, and watching it happen is like watching someone turn on a light. "The ambiguity of whether it's supernatural or psychological—you're never really sure what's real. And the way they use sound design to build tension..."

Oh.

Oh no.

You can practically see the moment when Yoongi's brain latches onto those two words: sound design.

"The sound design is what makes it work," Yoongi says, and now he's the one who sounds excited.

Well, excited by Yoongi standards, which means his voice has lost that flat, disinterested quality it usually has when talking to people he doesn't know well.

"Most horror movies fuck it up. They think louder equals scarier."

"Exactly!" Jimin practically bounces on his toes. "Subtlety is so much more effective. Like that scene in the forest—it's not what you hear, it's what you don't hear that creates the tension."

You're standing there holding a black plastic bird, watching what might be the most unlikely friendship in the history of your social circle bloom over plague masks and Korean horror films.

And it's... kind of adorable?

Which is weird, because you don't usually think of Yoongi as adorable.

Yoongi is dry sarcasm and perpetual mild irritation and the kind of person who can shut down a conversation with a single raised eyebrow.

But watching him try to navigate small talk with someone he's obviously interested in talking to?

It's like watching a cat try to ask for attention.

Awkward and endearing and slightly painful to witness.

"There's this other one," Jimin continues, completely oblivious to your eavesdropping. "The Handmaiden? It's more psychological thriller than straight horror, but the way they layer sound and silence..."

"Park Chan-wook," Yoongi says immediately. "He did Oldboy."

"Yes! You know his work?"

"Some of it." Yoongi's hands are still in his pockets, but his shoulders have relaxed even more. "The editing is insane. Music placement is good too."

"The way he uses classical music as counterpoint to violence..." Jimin shakes his head. "It's brilliant. Disturbing, but brilliant."

You're starting to feel like you're intruding on something private, which is ridiculous because they're having this conversation in the middle of a crowded costume warehouse.

But there's something about the way they're leaning slightly toward each other, the way Jimin's nervous energy has focused into genuine enthusiasm, the way Yoongi's usual defensiveness has dropped...

It's like watching two puzzle pieces discover they fit together.

"You should..." Yoongi starts, then stops, and you can practically see him recalibrating. "I mean, if you want... There's this other director. Bong Joon-ho. Did Parasite, but his earlier stuff is more horror-adjacent."

"I've been meaning to watch The Host," Jimin says quickly. "I read that it's actually a commentary on environmental disaster disguised as a monster movie?"

"Yeah." Yoongi nods, and there's something almost shy about the way he's not quite making eye contact. "It's... you could probably show me. The academic perspective. We could watch it together." And he fucking shrugs, looking to the side. "Or something."

Oh my god.

Did Yoongi just ask Jimin to hang out? In the most awkward, roundabout way possible?

You have to bite your lip to keep from making an actual noise of delight.

"Really?" Jimin's voice does this little uptick thing that's definitely not subtle. "I mean, if you want to. I don't want to bore you with my overthinking."

"You wouldn't." Yoongi's response is immediate, and there's something almost fierce about it. "Bore me, I mean. You don't... it's not boring."

Jesus Christ, these two are going to give you secondhand embarrassment if they keep this up.

But also it's kind of sweet? In a deeply awkward, 'neither of us knows how to have this conversation' way?

"Cool," Jimin says, and his smile is so bright it could probably power the entire warehouse. "That sounds really cool."

"Yeah," Yoongi agrees. "Cool."

And they both just stand there, smiling at each other like they've just discovered fire.

And they both just stand there, smiling at each other like they've just discovered fire

You spot him waving like he's hailing a cab, and immediately regret making eye contact.

The dramatic downward sweep of his hand is practically screaming 'get your ass over here', and you're half a second from flipping him off just on principle.

Instead, you sigh, let go of the random fabric you were absentmindedly thumbing through—some itchy-looking velvet monstrosity—and stalk your way over with your arms crossed.

"What," you deadpan.

That's all he gets.

Jungkook's holding up a mask between his fingers like it's something holy. A plastic one. With cartoonishly hollow black eyes and a droopy, gaping mouth.

You freeze.

No.

No no no.

"Is that—"

"Ghostface," he confirms proudly, lifting it so it hovers next to his face. "Well?"

Your mouth opens. Closes. Opens again.

Oh, fuck.

Because, yeah. You've seen that mask before. A lot. On TikTok. Usually accompanied by heavy breathing and very creative knife choreography. Sometimes shirtless. Occasionally involving... rope?

Look, you're not proud of how deep that particular rabbit hole got, but in your defense, your algorithm is deranged and your taste is none of Jungkook's business.

Still.

That mask has associations. And none of them involve Jungkook standing in an aisle of the world's saddest costume warehouse.

"I—why do you need my opinion?" you ask, trying desperately to sound neutral.

He blinks at you. "Because you're the only female friend I trust to be brutally honest with me."

You narrow your eyes. "We're not friends."

Jungkook recoils, dramatically slapping his palm against his chest like you just stabbed him in the heart with a prop dagger.

"Damn, Nix. Right in the feelings."

He taps twice on his pec, and of course your eyes flick down without your permission. Just for a second.

And of course he catches it.

He grins. "Right here. Fatal wound."

"Oh my god." You swat at him, heat creeping up your neck. "What the fuck are you doing? Stop it. You look unhinged."

He raises his forearm in defense, blocking your half-hearted smacks. "You're just mad because I'm right."

"I'm mad because you're annoying."

"Which is part of my charm. Come on. Don't be like that. We're totally friends."

"Friends implies I like you," you retort, eyes narrowing.

He shrugs. "You like me horizontally."

Your brain skips. Just full-on, no-buffer skips like a scratched CD.

"On the couch," he continues casually, like he's listing furniture. "Against the window. On your bed. That time on—"

You slap your hand over his mouth without a second thought.

"That was before," you hiss, eyes darting around scandalized. "Shut up. God, shut up, you maniac."

His eyes crinkle, mouth still under your palm. But he's smiling. Of course he is. The little shit.

Then—too gentle—he reaches up and wraps his fingers around your wrist, pulling your hand down slowly.

Doesn't let go right away. Just... holds it there for a beat.

"Still," he says, voice lower now. "We're friends."

You roll your eyes so hard they nearly get stuck. "If we're friends, then you're my most insufferable one."

That earns you a grin. A big one. Full teeth. Dimples. God, the smugness.

"I'll take it, Nixy-friend."

You make a noise halfway between a groan and a death threat. "Don't call me that."

He's still grinning when he lifts the mask again.

"So? Opinion?"

You squint. "Uh... it's a choice."

His mouth drops open, scandalized. "What do you—seriously, Nix?"

"What?" you say innocently, folding your arms again. "You picked the most generic costume in the entire building."

"It's not—" he scoffs, crossing his arms too, like he's physically offended by your taste. "It's not about that."

And then he turns slightly, facing the wall of costumes behind him, but his eyes stay locked on the mask. He spins it once between his fingers, like he's not entirely sure why he's still holding it.

"It's not about being scary," he says, but mostly to himself. "Or edgy or... whatever."

The way he says it—quiet, almost absent—makes something in your chest tug.

You don't say anything right away. Just watch the way his thumb traces the edge of the mask like it's delicate, not ten-dollar plastic. Something about the way he holds it makes your throat go tight.

You cross your arms tighter, mostly to stop yourself from doing something stupid, like ask what he's really thinking.

Instead you roll your eyes—softly, this time.

"...Okay."

He doesn't react. Just keeps staring at it.

"Okay," you repeat, louder. "Explain it to me then."

That gets his attention.

"Huh?"

He glances up, blinking like he forgot you were still standing there. Those stupid boba eyes blink wide and confused, too much light in them. Too much sincerity.

Makes you want to punch him in the chest just to knock some of it out.

You tilt your head, dry as hell. "You're gonna stand here talking about how it's not about being scary and then not elaborate? That's so irritating. Explain yourself, Roguersese."

He snorts, but his eyes flicker back to the mask almost immediately.

You see the shift happen—how he starts to retreat a little, like he's stepping back into his own head.

And okay, maybe you should've let it go.

But then he starts talking.

"...I dunno," he says first, which is a lie. You can tell by the way his fingers still. The mask stops moving.

You give him a look. That look. The one that says 'try again' without having to say it.

He sighs, deep and put-upon, like this is such a chore. But he also shifts on his feet. Shoulders roll.

And that's when you know he's about to do it. That nerdy, spiraling thing where he starts rambling and forgets anyone else exists.

Just like at MoMA.

"I guess," he starts, "Ghostface's not really like the others?"

You raise a brow. "You mean in the entire genre or just in your little tier list?"

He shoots you a glare but doesn't bite. Nerd filter: activated.

"I mean, yeah, he's technically a slasher villain. But the thing is, he's not one guy, right? Or even one character. That's kind of the whole point. He keeps changing."

He pauses, twirling the mask again with his fingers.

"Like—it's always someone new. And half the time it's some random dude or girl you wouldn't suspect. Some kid. Some freak. Someone you know but didn't think could pull that kind of thing off. And that's what makes it so good. Because he's not a monster. He's just... us."

You don't say anything. You just watch him. Watch his face shift, slowly, into something more open than he usually lets himself be.

He talks with his hands now, one still holding the mask, the other gesturing vaguely as he thinks out loud.

"And he's messy," he adds, quieter now. "He gets thrown around. Tripped up. Hit in the face with shit. He's not like—Jason or Michael, all cold and slow and invincible. Ghostface gets fucking wrecked. And then comes back anyway."

You shift, something about the way he says that last part catching somewhere in your throat.

Jungkook doesn't notice. He's still going. Still spinning the damn mask like it's a compass and he's trying to figure out which direction it's pointing in.

"And I dunno," he mumbles. "There's something kind of cool about that. Like... you think he's gonna play it one way. And then—he doesn't. He fucks it up. Or flips it. He's not clean."

He pauses, fingers stopping the mask mid-spin.

"It's subversion," he says. "The mask is supposed to be the scariest thing in the room. But it's also the thing everyone laughs at now. That shift... that's film language, right? You build tension, then break it. Make people think they're safe, then twist it again."

He looks weirdly serious now. Focused. Like you're not standing in a shitty seasonal warehouse surrounded by fake cobwebs and plastic axes.

"And it's not about the killer," he adds, quieter. "It's about what the audience expects from the killer. You give them something obvious, something they think they understand, and then you flip it."

There's a pause.

Then—

"I mean, not that I'm, like, planning a murder or whatever," he mutters, side-eying you. "I just think people underestimate the craft behind a 'dumb' costume."

You blink at him. Hard.

Because, okay.

You know Jungkook is good at what he does. You know he edits projects for other film students. You know he's constantly watching weird old movies 'for reference' even when no one's asked him to.

But hearing him talk like this?

It's different.

It's thoughtful. Specific. Self-aware.

But not in that annoying Jason way that feels like a lecture waiting to happen. It's just—his brain. Quietly running ten layers deeper than anyone gives him credit for.

You kind of forget sometimes that there's more going on under the tattoos and hair and dumbass sex jokes.

And that's dangerous. Because now he's doing this whole thoughtful, nerdy, vaguely hot film student thing, and you hate how much it works on you.

You exhale slowly, not trusting yourself to respond yet.

Because if you do, it'll probably come out soft.

And that's the last thing you need.

"Anyway," he mutters, a little laugh under his breath. "It's probably dumb. I guess Tessa will think it's cool that I... put thought into it."

You blink.

There it is. The turn. That awkward, sheepish thing he does when he's trying to pretend he doesn't care as much as he clearly does.

"I mean," he continues, eyes fixed firmly on the mask like it might bail him out of this conversation, "she's into, like... the analysis side of stuff. So I figured maybe if it has meaning, she'll think it's interesting."

He says it like it's a question. Like he's unsure if it even counts.

Then he glances at you, just barely. A flicker of eye contact before he retreats again.

"So I kinda just..." he shrugs, "wanted to know what you think. Because, like, you're a woman too and..."

He trails off, face pinching slightly like the words themselves physically embarrass him.

"Yeah," he finished lamely.

You stare at him. Loudly.

Then sigh. Loudly.

"You're so annoying," you mutter.

His brows twitch. "Okay, what—"

"No, like, you're so annoying, because now I can't even make fun of you."

His mouth tugs into the faintest grin. He tries to hide it by looking back at the mask.

You roll your eyes. "You want me to say something validating and supportive so you can pretend you don't care. I see your little game."

"Do you?"

"Yes. It's written all over your stupid face."

He doesn't argue. Just lifts the mask to eye level again, tapping one finger against the edge like he's stalling.

You sigh again, softer this time. "Look. I think it's cool, okay? It's not just... the mask. It's the fact that you thought about it. You didn't just grab something hot or funny or whatever. You thought it through."

He exhales, mouth twisting like he doesn't know how to take that.

"And you didn't force her to match," you add, quieter now. "Which is cool. Like, you could've said 'let's be a pair' and I guarantee she'd have done it. She seems like the type to just go with the flow."

He nods slowly. "Yeah. She's... nice."

You wait, but he doesn't say more. Doesn't elaborate. But you know there's more—underneath that word, under the softness of it.

"She's sweet," he says finally. "And like... she would've said yes to whatever I wanted. I just—" he breaks off, brow furrowing. "I didn't want to decide for her, y'know?"

That makes something click.

Because yeah, you know that feeling.

Not wanting to accidentally trap someone in your orbit. Not wanting someone else's whole night to hinge on your decision.

But the way he says it... it's heavier. Like the guilt's already sitting on his shoulders even though nothing bad happened.

"I didn't want to be the guy who's like, 'this is what we're doing.'" He grimaces, thumb rubbing over the mask. "But I also knew that if we went looking together, she'd just pick whatever I picked. And I didn't want that either. So I kinda just... made it easy. Said no to matching from the start."

You tilt your head. "So you picked something meaningful and let her do her own thing."

He shrugs again. "Maybe. I don't know. It still feels like I made a call that wasn't mine to make."

You narrow your eyes. "What do you think she wants?"

His mouth presses into a line. "To make me happy."

The way he says it makes your chest twist. Not because it's smug. It's not.

It's almost... self-loathing.

Like he hates that she wants that. Hates that she puts him in that position.

Which is weird, because she's lovely. You like Tessa. She's gentle and open and kind in a way that's rare in this city. But maybe that's the problem.

Maybe that kind of softness makes Jungkook feel like he has to carry the whole shape of the relationship in his arms.

And maybe he's not built for that.

You don't say any of that out loud.

You just nudge him lightly with your elbow. "You're not a dick for picking a solo costume. If anything, you were trying not to make it about you."

He glances at you, uncertain.

"Ghostface is kind of the opposite of that," you add. "He's no one. That's kind of the point, right?"

A pause. His fingers still on the mask. Then—

He smiles. Small. Real.

"So you like it?"

You make the grave mistake of hesitating. Just for a second. Barely even a pause. But it's enough.

You clear your throat. "I mean..."

His brows go up, expectantly.

You side-eye the wall of plastic masks in front of you. There's a really stupid one shaped like a cartoon banana.

You focus on that instead of his stupid boba eyes.

"Well. I mean—" you shrug, picking at the corner of the banana mask like it personally insulted you, "—there's definitely, uh. A thing. On TikTok."

Jungkook's face screws up in confusion, like you've just introduced a new word into the English language.

"What kind of thing?"

You shrug again, too casual. Way too casual.

"Just... a thing."

He keeps staring at you.

You know what you just did.

And unfortunately, so does he.

His lips twitch. And then that bastard grin breaks full force across his face like a sunrise that wants to ruin your entire day.

"No way." He lifts the mask slightly. "You're joking."

"'Bout what?" you mumble, eyes glued to the banana mask.

You tug it off its hook. Pretend to inspect the elastic strap like it matters to your life in any way.

Jungkook doesn't fall for it.

"Oh my god." He laughs into the sleeve of his hoodie, turning slightly like he needs a moment to process this newfound information. "Phoenix thinks Ghostface is hot."

"I did not say that." You whip around and jab a finger in his direction like that will undo your own mouth.

He just grins wider. "You definitely just said that."

"I said it was a thing. That other people find it hot. Which is factually true—there's, like, entire edits—"

"Right, but not you." He steps forward, still holding the mask between two fingers. "Totally not you. You just happen to be deeply educated on this very specific TikTok niche."

You huff, turning back to the rack. "Can we not do this?"

"Why not?" he says, and he's grinning now, like a shark circling blood in the water. "I think this is fascinating."

"I think you're an idiot."

"Mm," he hums. "An idiot who just found out you're into anonymous masked killers."

You spin back around. "I'm not—"

"Okay, okay," he says quickly, mock serious, lifting one palm like he's swearing an oath. "You're not. Obviously. I'm just... curious."

"No you're not."

"You're blushing."

"I'm not."

"You totally are," he says, stepping closer. "Look at you. Getting flustered over a Halloween mask."

You scoff. "Literally fuck off. I'm not flustered."

"Sure you're not," he says, tipping his head.

His tone is light, teasing, but there's something else under it now—something that crawls under your skin and presses right where it shouldn't.

You glare. "Rogue, shut up."

"What exactly is hot about it though?" he asks, turning the mask toward you like it's Exhibit A in some humiliating trial. "Like, is it the whole 'mystery man' thing? Or the knife?"

Your mouth falls open. "Oh my god."

"Wait—" he grins, ignoring you— "is it the voice?"

You throw the banana mask at him. He catches it one-handed and doesn't even flinch.

"You are the worst person alive."

"I'm trying to understand!" he insists, like he's the picture of sincerity. "It's important research. Academic."

"Academic?" you deadpan.

"Yeah. For cultural awareness."

You squint at him. "You just wanna hear me say it."

"I so do," he agrees instantly. "But I'll settle for you panicking."

You stare him down. He stares right back, clearly enjoying every second of this.

"You're an asshole," you mutter.

"True," he says easily. Then leans in just slightly. "But be honest... you'd still let Ghostface rail you, wouldn't you?"

Your mouth opens in offense.

Nothing comes out.

His grin spreads, impossibly wider.

"Interesting," he says again, eyes flicking over your face like he's committing this to memory for future blackmail.

You try to punch him in the shoulder.

He dodges it. Barely. Still grinning.

And he's leaning just enough into your space to be irritating on purpose.

"You're obsessed," he says.

"Delusional," you snap back.

"You brought up TikTok thirst traps."

"You asked for my opinion!"

He shrugs. "Didn't expect a confession."

You glare. "There was no confession."

"Mhm."

You move to step around him. He steps with you. You move the other way. So does he.

Human traffic cone. Human wall. Human virus.

"I will strangle you with that stupid mask," you mutter.

"I dare you."

"You think I won't?"

"I think you'll try."

You huff. Real dramatic. Real fed up. "Fine. I don't know, okay? It's just hot."

He stops. Grin falters, then returns—slower this time. More knowing.

"Hot, huh."

You cross your arms. "Don't make it a thing."

"It is a thing. You said it's a thing."

"Yeah, but not my thing."

"Oh no, no, no," he says. "You said it's hot. That makes it your thing."

You make a sound that's basically just teeth grinding frustration. "Like you don't have one."

He raises a brow. "A thing?"

"Yeah. A kink. A—whatever. Something weird that gets you going."

"I don't—"

You cut him off with a scoff so exaggerated it might as well be choreographed. "Oh, please."

He blinks. "What?"

"You seriously wanna sit there and pretend," you say, stepping right up to him now, "that you don't get off when someone pulls your hair?"

Jungkook freezes.

Just—stops.

Eyes blinking slowly, like a computer rebooting after a crash. "What are you talking about?"

You squint. "You're not serious."

"I—"

"Come on, Rogue. You make that little sound every time."

His mouth opens, then closes.

And you—dumbly, automatically, without thinking it through for even half a second—reach up.

Your fingers slip into the soft hair at the back of his neck, right where it curves into his collar.

You tug—not hard, but just enough.

Jungkook goes completely still.

Like frozen in place, breath suspended somewhere between inhale and denial.

His pupils dilate so fast it should be illegal, and his jaw does that lil' clenching motion it always does when he's holding something back.

His voice, when it finally crawls out of his throat, is embarrassingly raspy. "I do that?"

You nod, slowly. "Yeah."

Your fingers tighten—just slightly—and you swear you feel the tremble ripple down his spine. His eyes flutter, just once, like he's trying not to let it show but his body's already ratted him out.

"See?" you murmur, tone whispery. "You don't know why you like it. You just do."

He swallows again. Adam's apple jumping. "That's different."

"It's not," you counter. "That's what I've been saying this entire time."

He looks down at you—mouth parted, expression hazy like you've rebooted half his nervous system—and you know what he's thinking.

You know because your own brain is right there with his, high-speed spiraling into very inappropriate flashbacks.

You. Him. Your bed.

Your fingers twisted in his hair.

His hands grabbing, mouth somewhere you shouldn't still think about at night.

But you do.

And it's definitely not helping that his eyes are dark now. Really dark. The kind that promise trouble.

That twitch in his jaw. The shift in his breathing.

You know every single version of this look. You've worn it.

And then, finally, your brain screams abort. Every nerve in your body lights up in panic.

What are you doing?

You pull your hand back like you've been electrocuted, stepping away fast, lungs tight, chest somehow both hot and cold.

Jungkook turns his head to the side and lets out a short, embarrassed cough, one that sounds like an apology and a warcry in the same breath. His fingers loosen imperceptibly on the mask and the plastic shifts but he doesn't look at it.

You stand in the aisle with your heart thumping like a bad drum, suddenly aware of the absurdity of everything: you, in a Halloween warehouse, having just proofed a man with hair tugging and ghost masks and all the mess around both of you.

"Right," you say, because words are safer than quiet. "We good?"

He swallows. Eyes still slightly unfocused, like he's choosing whether to answer honestly or with a joke.

"Yeah." His voice is rough in a way that shouldn't be legal in aisle six. Clears his throat. "Yeah, we good."

Silence blooms. The bad kind. The aware kind. Your skin buzzes like you stood too close to a speaker stack. He spins the mask once, catches it, buying himself a second like a coin trick.

You try for neutral; shoot for bored. Miss entirely.

He tilts the mask toward your face, safer territory, the smallest curve at his mouth like he's begging you to kick the ball back into banterland.

"So," he says, lighter on purpose and you can hear the effort. "For the record. The mask is... what? Eight out of ten hot? Nine?"

"Don't push it."

"Ten," he murmurs, faint smug creeping in. "Noted."

"Die."

"Later." His mouth quirks. "What do you want to dress up as?"

You freeze. Stupid question. Normal question. Suddenly impossible.

Because it's not 'what are you going as?'. Its 'what do you want to dress up as?' and that's different.

He watches you, but you stare at the floor, then the wall, then anywhere that isn't him.

Should you tell him?

You try it soft. So soft he doesn't catch it.

"What?" he says, leaning closer, forehead creasing.

You force the word out, steady this time.

"Medusa."

You don't look at him when you say it. Just let the word hang there, weighty and weird.

Jungkook doesn't laugh. Doesn't smirk. Doesn't do the dumb 'wow, sexy snakes, okay' thing you half-expect.

He just blinks once. Quiet. Maybe processing.

"I thought you were gonna do... like..." He gestures vaguely with the mask. "That Virginia Woolf thing?"

You wince. "Yeah, I was."

You finally meet his eyes. He's watching you with something softer than before. No grin.

Just curiosity, plain and unshaped.

"Was gonna do Virginia Woolf," you add, casually, like obviously, like it's not weird to switch from one literary symbol to another because your semi-boyfriend might be going as Jack fucking Kerouac.

You fiddle with the hem of your sleeve, eyes fixed somewhere around his shoulder.

"But that felt a little too... on the nose."

He nods slowly, still quiet.

"And I don't know. Medusa just—" You stop. Shrug. "—feels right."

"Care to..." he gestures vaguely, "...elaborate?"

You sigh.

It comes from somewhere deep within the confines of your chest.

"She's not just... you know." But he probably doesn't know. "Stone eyes and snake hair. She's text. She's so much text. Ovid, obviously, but then Cixous, and Atwood, and like—Plath has that one poem where she twists the myth, and Carol Ann Duffy literally rewrites her voice. Everyone has something to say about her. Everyone uses her."

You're rambling now, and you know it. The words rush out too fast, but you can't stop them.

Like if you say it all out loud, it'll make more sense.

Or at least justify why it matters to you.

"She's a battleground. A metaphor. A warning. All the things people call girls when they don't know what else to name us. She's rage and revenge and survival. She wasn't a monster until someone decided she had to be one."

You pause. Exhale.

You don't look at him when you say it.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm projecting," you mutter. "But it kind of fits."

He doesn't say anything.

You half-laugh to yourself. "I mean, I got detention for a note, so. On brand."

You smile to yourself. Dry. Sharp-edged. It's not really a joke, but it sort of is.

Because yeah. You're not a monster. But people love to pretend.

Mrs. Henderson. Your mom. David Morrison's stupid scribbled lies. A rumor muttered loud enough to echo.

You were never trying to be anything. But the second someone decided you were dangerous, it stuck.

Your throat tightens unexpectedly.

"It's not about being sexy. I know everyone's gonna assume that. It's not snakes for the aesthetic. It's like..." You shrug. "She's a reclamation. Or maybe just... a way to show I see myself. The way people keep misreading me. And her. And maybe Jason will get it. And maybe he won't. But at least I'll feel like I tried."

You don't know why you said that last part.

But there it is.

Jungkook shifts the mask in his hand, tapping the plastic absently against his leg. Then looks at you.

"Phoenix," he says, quietly.

Your eyes meet. Something stills.

The smile that breaks through his fair is unfair.

But what's even more unfair is what he says next.

"You're gonna kill in that costume."

Said like a fact. No doubt. No teasing. Just... full belief.

You feel something in your chest tug. Then pull harder.

He reaches out and gently bops you on the head with the Ghostface mask. You blink. Then he flicks your nose.

"Hey—"

But he's already walking.

"C'mon," he calls over his shoulder. "Let's find Jimin."

You frown after him. "What?"

"Need to find you a mouth-dropping Medusa costume," he says, turning back just long enough to flash a grin. "You're not showing up to that party looking like a half-baked metaphor."

And then he disappears around the corner of the aisle, mask swinging in one hand.

Maybe it shouldn't matter. He's always said shit like that. Flirty comments. Offhand compliments that don't mean anything.

That's the whole thing with Jungkook—he's reckless and smooth and too pretty for his own good. That's who he is.

Except.

Except he didn't say it like that.

Not like it was a line.

Not like it was meant to land and linger and make you flustered.

It wasn't even about him. He said it like he meant it for you.

Just you.

Like he got it.

Like he saw what you were trying to do—be powerful, be alone, be understood—and wanted to make sure it hit the way you hoped.

You stand there for a second, a smile forming despite yourself.

The way he listened. The way he didn't laugh.

The way he looked at you like you weren't ridiculous for wanting something deeper than cute.

It sits oddly in your chest.

Not heavy.

Just... unexpected.

Like rain when the sky's still blue.