Work Text:
Mensah: Pin-Lee, are you available? SecUnit’s been arrested.
Pin-Lee: Shit. Fuck. What did it do? I’m on my way.
Mensah: It’s not clear? No charges have been filed – yet – but Amena and Ratthi and some others are also being held for questioning.
Pin-Lee: Well, fuck.
Preservation Station Security
Interview transcript
Interviewer: Senior Officer Indah
Subject: SecUnit
INDAH: This is an extensive list of charges. You must have had quite an eventful evening. Do you want to tell me what happened?
SECUNIT: I’m not talking to you. I want my solicitor.
[several minutes of silence]
INDAH: …I’ll give you some time to think about it.
[end of transcript]
Preservation Station Security
Interview transcript
Interviewer: Security Officer Farid
Subject: Dr. Ratthi
FARID: Tell me what–
RATTHI: It was a scavenger hunt, you see? I wanted something low-key for my birthday this year, and we’re all stuck on station, so a few of us got together and had a few drinks, and we thought a scavenger hunt would be fun. Have you ever done one?
FARID: I–
RATTHI: You know, you make a list of random things, and then everyone has to go out and collect the things, or take vid of the things to show that they found them, and the winner is the one that’s collected the most at the end of the night! Harmless fun!
FARID: So you had been drinking.
RATTHI: Well, not much. And SecUnit, obviously, doesn’t. Drink. At all. So.
FARID: Can you tell me about the incident at Starchy Foods!!!?
RATTHI: Oh, that. It wasn’t a big deal. I was looking for a “food item in the shape of an animal” (five points), and I almost bumped into SecUnit in front of the stall. They have one of those big inflatable mascot things, you know? It’s supposed to be shaped like those potato blossoms they sell, but really it’s just this great big blobby shape that kind of just bobbles around. Have you seen it?
FARID: I’ve seen it.
RATTHI: It hasn’t been there long. Kind of an eyesore, if you ask me. Anyway, I didn’t see SecUnit coming because the mascot was in the way.
FARID: Did this anger SecUnit, that the mascot almost caused a collision?
RATTHI: What? No! I almost ran into it, but it dodged because it’s got crazy-fast reflexes, and I laughed and said “Oops, sorry SecUnit,” or something like that, and it pretended like nothing had happened.
FARID: And then what?
RATTHI: And then it looked at the giant inflatable mascot thingy and said “I need this,” and just – picked it up and walked off with it.
FARID: It stole the mascot?
RATTHI: That thing was wobbling all over the place, and it kept bouncing off bits of SecUnit as it walked away. Made little “bong, bong” noises. It was pretty funny.
FARID: It–
RATTHI: Don’t tell SecUnit I said that.
FARID: It stole the mascot.
RATTHI: Well, no, because I went over to the proprietor and bought it from her.
FARID: You bought it.
RATTHI: On SecUnit’s behalf.
FARID: And the proprietor was… okay with this?
RATTHI: Apparently lots of people had been tripping over it. She gave it to me super cheap. And she had purple hair, which was on my list (ten points), and she let me take a vid with her holding a potato blossom that came out of the fryer looking kind of like a bunny (five points)!
FARID: What did SecUnit do with the mascot?
RATTHI: Oh, no idea. I saw a person across the mall who looked like they were carrying a musical instrument, so I went over to see if they would play it for me. I didn’t see SecUnit again until you brought us all here.
FARID: You’re not curious?
RATTHI: They did play it for me! Fifteen points!
[end of transcript]
Preservation Station Security
Interview transcript
Interviewer: Security Officer Tifany
Subject: Amena
TIFANY: Can you tell me what you were doing in the Welcome Center lobby?
AMENA: It was for Ratthi’s scavenger hunt, see? There are lots of really random things on the list, and there’s lots of really random things at the Welcome Center, so I thought that would be a good place to start. I was right, too. I got “venomous animal” and “poisonous plant” and “new bot friend.” And Endla – that’s the Welcome Center bot – let me hold the arachnid for the vid, so that’s a combo score right there. Twenty-five points!
TIFANY: Those arachnids are real? I thought they were holos.
AMENA: So did I! But they’re totally real, and Endla said they breed insects to feed them right there in the Welcome Center. Gross, right?
TIFANY: Do you think Endla would let me watch it feeding them?
AMENA: Probably? It was really friendly. I think it was just excited to talk about the arachnids, to be honest.
TIFANY: And was SecUnit there?
AMENA: Not at first. It showed up later, after Endla went to put the arachnid away.
TIFANY: What was it doing?
AMENA: It was taking vid of the textiles display. I told it that a picture of a picture of an animal with blue fur didn’t count.
TIFANY: You needed to find an actual animal with blue fur?
AMENA: Exactly! But it wouldn’t listen.
TIFANY: Is it hard to find an animal with blue fur?
AMENA: Well, it was worth fifteen points, but my neighbor two doors down has a gene-modded cat that’s blue with turquoise stripes, so.
TIFANY: Oh, I love those. So, SecUnit was upset you said it was wrong?
AMENA: [snorts] SecUnit loves it when people tell it it’s wrong.
TIFANY: And that’s when it vandalized the plant display?
AMENA: What? No! Nobody vandalized anything!
TIFANY: Several large leaves are missing from that fan palm tree.
AMENA: Okay, so I was using emphatic gesture to get my extremely reasonable point across, and SecUnit was flailing its arms and refusing to admit it was wrong, and I… brushed against one of the palm leaves? It wasn’t even that hard! And then the leaf just – fell off. It landed on SecUnit’s head.
TIFANY: It just fell off.
AMENA: Yep. [mimes something bouncing off the top of her head] “Bonk.” SecUnit screamed a little. It was hilarious.
TIFANY: …
AMENA: Don’t tell SecUnit I said that.
TIFANY: …
AMENA: And the first leaf hit another one on the way down, and it fell off too.
TIFANY: They both just fell off? SecUnit didn’t get mad and tear them off, or cut them, or shoot them off with its energy weapons?
AMENA: [rolls eyes] You can examine the tree. There aren’t any scars. And if you can find those leaves, you’ll see they weren’t cut or torn or… lasered, or whatever. Hey, that makes the leaves “organic waste,” doesn’t it? SecUnit was doing a public service by disposing of them!
TIFANY: If we can find them? You don’t know where they are?
AMENA: No. SecUnit said “shut up, you’re wrong, and I’m taking these.” And then it grabbed those two big fallen leaves and another smaller one that was lying nearby, and walked off.
TIFANY: You didn’t see where it went?
AMENA: No, I had to go take a vid with my two-doors-down-neighbor’s cat.
[end of transcript]
Preservation Station Security
Interview transcript
Interviewer: Security Officer Matif
Subject: Dr. Gurathin
MATIF: What were you doing in the old section of the transit ring?
GURATHIN: I don’t want to talk about it.
MATIF: Lucky for us, there are cameras in that section of the ring. Why don’t we watch the video together, hmm?
[Begin video description]
The footage shows the wide main corridor of the transit ring. It is empty. The timestamp on the video shows that it is two and a half hours into the station rest period.
Two figures come into view from the direction of the public entrance. They stop at a door partway along the corridor. One of the figures looks around them, their body language furtive, then does something to the door lock. The other figure stands a meter or so away, watching. The door opens. Both figures disappear inside.
[Pause video description]
MATIF: That’s you and SecUnit, right?
GURATHIN: Yes.
MATIF: Breaking into that storage unit.
GURATHIN: I have permission to be there.
MATIF: If that’s true, why do you look so shifty?
GURATHIN: I always look like that.
[Resume video description]
Several minutes have elapsed. Gurathin exits the storage unit, holding the door open for SecUnit, who is following him. SecUnit’s arms are full of pipes and tubes. It is carrying several wide, stiff pipes, some assorted smaller tubes and hoses which are variously curved, and one very long medium-diameter tube that appears to be extremely floppy. The bundle is too large to fit easily in SecUnit’s arms.
As SecUnit passes through the doorway, one of the wide pipes catches on the door handle. It slips out of SecUnit’s grasp, and the entire bundle tumbles to the ground. SecUnit and Gurathin both stoop to gather the fallen pipes, but they bounce and roll in several directions. SecUnit lunges forward to grab one as it rolls away, and kicks it instead; this sends all the pipes skittering across the width of the corridor.
[Pause video description]
GURATHIN: [snort of laughter]
MATIF: …
GURATHIN: Don’t tell SecUnit.
MATIF: Stolen goods are funny to you?
GURATHIN: They’re not stolen.
MATIF: Really.
GURATHIN: It’s surplus survey equipment. I have permission to use it.
[Resume video description]
Working together, SecUnit and Gurathin manage to re-gather all the fallen pipes and tubes and bundle them in SecUnit’s arms. It grips the tubes tightly enough that they can be seen to deform slightly under its fingers; nevertheless, the collection threatens to escape it once more. SecUnit’s face shows irritation, though it is obscured by the armload of pipes.
Gurathin says something to SecUnit, and then they both stand still for several minutes, as if waiting for something.
Eventually, a floating delivery cart arrives from deeper within the transit ring. Gurathin and SecUnit proceed to try to stack the pipes and tubes onto the cart. The tubes are round, though, and the cart has no side barriers, so they keep rolling off and onto the floor. The pair try several different methods of stacking, without success.
[Pause video description]
MATIF: You’re blocking a public thoroughfare.
GURATHIN: For what traffic? There’s no one else there.
[Resume video description]
Gurathin reenters the storage unit briefly, but comes out empty-handed. He has a short conversation with SecUnit, after which SecUnit climbs onto the cart and holds the stack of tubes awkwardly in place with its arms. Gurathin walks beside the cart as it moves slowly down the corridor, until it disappears from camera view.
[End video description]
MATIF: It is illegal to ride on floating delivery carts.
GURATHIN: It’s illegal for humans to ride on carts.
MATIF: [sigh] What did you do with all that stuff, anyway?
GURATHIN: I don’t know.
MATIF: You don’t know.
GURATHIN: SecUnit said it needed it.
MATIF: So you just… handed it over?
GURATHIN: Yes.
MATIF: Well, where did you take it?
GURATHIN: I don’t know.
MATIF: You don’t remember?
GURATHIN: SecUnit told the cart where to go. I went to bed.
MATIF: You weren’t participating in Ratthi’s scavenger hunt?
GURATHIN: I’m not going to dignify that with a response.
[end of transcript]
Preservation Station Security
Interview transcript
Interviewer: Security Officer Soire
Subject: Banni
BANNI: What’s this about?
SOIRE: Could you tell me about your encounter with SecUnit earlier this cycle?
BANNI: Oh, SecUnit’s a hero!
SOIRE: Multiple witnesses have described SecUnit accosting your toddler and making him cry. It literally stole candy from your baby.
BANNI: I know, isn’t it incredible?
SOIRE: What.
BANNI: I don’t know how it happened. You know how it is with toddlers – they’re right there, and then you look away for the barest moment, and they’re somehow not only gone, but half a kilometer away and actively trying to electrocute themselves?
SOIRE: [muffled snort]
BANNI: Yeah, you know about toddlers. And I love my little Eloshi, but he has absolutely zero sense of self-preservation and I swear that kid can teleport.
SOIRE: You must be very proud.
BANNI: So proud.
SOIRE: So earlier this cycle…
BANNI: Oh, yes. He and I were in the mall, just going to get a quick dinner, and I took my eyes off him for one second while the merchant was handing me our food – and he was gone. I panicked, of course, but unlike Eloshi I do have self-preservation instincts, and it doesn’t help either of us if I panic in the middle of a crowd with bowls of piping hot noodles in my hands.
SOIRE: True.
BANNI: Thank you. So I took a deep breath, and started looking around the mall at knee level for any erratic movements. And that’s when I heard the screaming.
SOIRE: The screaming?
BANNI: Oh, bloody murder. I relaxed instantly.
SOIRE: You what?
BANNI: I relaxed! I know all Eloshi’s screams, you see, and that was a) definitely him screaming, and b) his “gadzooks! Foiled again!” scream.
SOIRE: [under their breath] Gadzooks.
BANNI: He’s a little media supervillain in training, I swear. So I just followed the sounds of the screaming until I found them.
SOIRE: Them?
BANNI: It was like a scene from an old painting. Eloshi, screaming so hard he’d almost turned purple. Snot and tears and spittle everywhere. There was an adult standing over him, practically looming, with a giant lollipop clutched in one hand. Eloshi was reaching up for it and, at the same time, kicking the adult viciously in the shins. (I am so ashamed.) And circled all around them was a crowd of people all doing this [mimes a shocked face with her hands pressed over her mouth].
SOIRE: That was SecUnit?
BANNI: [fond sigh] That was SecUnit. I’d heard it was on the station, of course – everyone has – but I’d never encountered it. I hear it’s kind of reclusive? But there it was, in the mall, stealing candy from my baby like something from a media serial.
SOIRE: And you were… happy… about this?
BANNI: Well, no, at the time I was about seven different emotions, but happy wasn’t one of them.
SOIRE: Oh?
BANNI: Let’s see… Relief, that my missing baby had been found. Mortification, that he was causing a scene and assaulting a stranger. Indignation, because how dare that stranger make Eloshi cry. Chagrin, because knowing Eloshi he probably brought this on himself. A different kind of chagrin, because what kind of mother loses her baby like that. Exasperation, because I try to limit his intake of refined sugar and where did he get that enormous lollipop in the first place? …And also I was hangry. How many’s that?
SOIRE: [counting on fingers] Seven.
BANNI: [pleased laugh]
SOIRE: So where did Eloshi get the candy?
BANNI: [points finger] Now you’re asking the real questions. It came from a nearby stall, it turns out. The stall has them stuck into a big stand right out front, very tempting. Eloshi just zipped past at supersonic toddler speed and grabbed one.
SOIRE: Ah.
BANNI: I’d like to make a complaint about that, actually. They shouldn’t be allowed to do that.
SOIRE: How do you mean?
BANNI: Those lollipops have intoxicants in them. They’re “party candy,” for adults only. They shouldn’t be anywhere near where children can reach them!
SOIRE: Oh.
BANNI: Exactly. And SecUnit saw what happened, and saw that Eloshi was about to be poisoned, and swooped in to save him. Just like SecUnits do. (I saw Dr Bharadwaj’s documentary, you know. Quite eye-opening.) It’s a hero.
SOIRE: I’ll tell SecUnit you said that.
BANNI: You will?
SOIRE: Yeah. It’ll hate it.
BANNI: [mournful noise]
SOIRE: What happened to the lollipop? It’s evidence.
BANNI: I don’t know. I think SecUnit took it? The stall owner came out to see what all the fuss was about, and they tried to complain about Eloshi stealing, but SecUnit just glared at them until they stopped. But they wouldn’t take the lollipop back, because it was covered in toddler germs, so SecUnit held onto it.
SOIRE: Hmm.
BANNI: But that’s weird, right? SecUnits don’t eat or drink, so they probably don’t have any use for human intoxicants. Why did it want it?
SOIRE: Indeed.
BANNI: But I was distracted, because I had a purple screaming toddler to deal with, and I had to pay that shopkeeper for the “inventory” that my child “stole,” and did you forget I’ve had my hands full of hot noodles this entire time?
SOIRE: That is a lot.
BANNI: Yes, it was! And somewhere in there, SecUnit just left, and I didn’t even get to tell it how grateful I was.
SOIRE: I’m sure it didn’t mind.
BANNI: I’ll send it a thank-you card.
[end of transcript]
Security Tech Tural: Senior Indah, I’ve got it!
Senior Officer Indah: You’ve got what?
Security Tech Tural: SecUnit. I’ve got it dead to rights.
Senior Officer Indah: Tell me.
Security Tech Tural: …Actually, it’s better if I show you. Can you pull up my vest cam?
[Begin video description]
The footage shows an… installation… in front of one of the plant biomes in the main thoroughfare leading to the mall. The largest part is a large, brown, blob-shaped inflatable item. It is propped up on four wide, stiff pipes, placed at the corners of the blob to look like legs. On one end, a small dried fan palm leaf has been attached, like a tail. On the other end, two large dried fan palm leaves are affixed to either side of one end of the blob, in a manner vaguely reminiscent of ears. Between them, more anteriorly placed, are two smaller lengths of gently curving cream-colored pipe, one on each side of a long floppy tube. This tube is hanging down from the front of the blob’s “face;” its distal end has been curled around the stick of a large, colorful lollipop, as if clutching it. Eyes and a smiling mouth have been drawn on with what looks like paint. The overall effect is a creature that is ponderous and clumsy, yet somehow cheerful.
[End video description]
Senior Officer Indah: What… is that?
Security Tech Tural: I think it’s meant to be some kind of pachyderm, Senior. They’re a type of megafauna.
Senior Officer Indah: I know what a pachyderm is. SecUnit put it there?
Security Tech Tural: We have footage.
Senior Officer Indah: But why? What does it mean?
Security Tech Tural: That is the question at the heart of all art, Senior.
Senior Officer Indah: Tural.
Security Tech Tural: Ah, ha ha, sorry. It also means “installation of a public artwork without a permit.”
Senior Officer Indah: Ugh. Fine.
Senior Officer Indah stalked back into the interview room and leaned over the table toward me. She probably meant to look intimidating, but she’s not very tall, and I’m not easy to intimidate.
“Tell me about the pachyderm.”
I ignored her. I’d had time to get through several episodes of the new show I was watching, and this one was just getting to a good part.
“I know you–”
The door to the interview room opened again, and Pin-Lee walked into the room wearing an expression that promised woe and lamentations for her enemies. I paused my show. This one would be better.
“I know you weren’t just trying to interview my client without its legal representation present.”
Indah shut her mouth with a click.
“On what charges are you detaining my client?”
Indah narrowed her eyes. “Installation of public artwork,” she said, “without a permit.”
Pin-Lee paced back across the small room.
What the fuck, SecUnit, she sent me in the feed.
I rolled my eyes at her.
She turned to face Indah once more. “And has Dr Mensah also been detained?”
Indah blinked. “No.”
“She is SecUnit’s guardian, after all. Any crimes it allegedly commits are her responsibility.” Pin-Lee tilted her head. “She’s waiting right outside. You can go ahead and take her into custody.”
“That won’t be necessary.” Indah looked like she was really clenching her jaw. That had to be bad for her teeth.
“In that case,” Pin-Lee said, “I’m going to have to insist you charge my client and release it.” She paused. “Unless you believe its… public art… constitutes such a danger to the public that it needs to remain in detention?”
Indah closed her eyes for a long moment. “Just go.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Oh, no. I want the full experience. Charge me, Senior Indah. I insist.”
Behind her, Pin-Lee smiled a small, satisfied smile.
[Three cycles earlier]
“SecUnit. I need you to get arrested.”
Pin-Lee had ambushed me in Mensah’s private office.
I was supposed to be safe there. It had the best security I could manage, and it was supposed to be proof from people just barging in whenever they wanted (well, people that weren’t me).
But there Pin-Lee was, interrupting my valuable “lie on Mensah’s couch and watch media” time, and saying implausible things. I made a mental note to run a diagnostic on my auditory sensors.
“Did you hear me? I need you to get arrested.”
I guess I had heard right. Pin-Lee’s demand was so ridiculous I sat up and stopped my media entirely. My face must have done a thing, because Pin-Lee kept talking, kind of fast.
“It can be something small – don’t kill anyone! – you can pick what. You just need to be arrested.”
“I need to.” My tone was flat, to best convey that this was a stupid fucking thing to ask.
Pin-Lee pulled a chair around until it was opposite the couch and sat down. She leaned forward and stared very earnestly at one of the drones over my right shoulder.
“I swear to you, I will rescue you.”
“From being arrested.”
“I will rescue you, and I have a plan.” She hesitated. “Do you trust me?”
Ugh. Pin-Lee gave me secret ID markers and hard currency cards, and put no-hugging clauses in my contracts. She wrote my employment agreements so that I could just walk away if I wanted to. She was the CombatUnit version of a solicitor, and she was my legal counsel.
“I guess,” I told her.
She grinned, and I’ve seen human-eating megafauna that looked less scary than that. “Great. Here’s the plan…”
Preservation Station NewsStream
Preservation solicitor files landmark test case for construct rights
Breaking: A lawsuit filed yesterday will challenge the legal standing of bot-human constructs in Preservation, legal experts say.
Local solicitor Pin-Lee filed the suit on behalf of her client, SecUnit, who has been living on Preservation Station as a refugee after leaving the Corporation Rim. It was arrested several cycles ago on a minor nonviolent charge, something the lawsuit alleges is illegal under Preservation law.
Under the current law, constructs on Preservation must have a guardian who is responsible for their conduct. SecUnit’s guardian is former planetary administrator Dr Aydah Mensah, for whom it currently serves as a security consultant. Dr Mensah was not held to be responsible for SecUnit’s alleged offense at the time of its arrest.
The lawsuit filed by Pin-Lee asserts that charging SecUnit with a crime is tantamount to admitting it is responsible for its own actions, and that an official guardian is unnecessary and unlawful.
Legal experts will be watching the progression of the case with interest, and expect it to set important precedents in Preservation law and similar polities.