Actions

Work Header

The Double Entendre Side Show

Summary:

Joey and Kaiba's arguments were definitely starting to have more than one meaning to them. Yugi and the gang would almost bet on it.

Okay, actually, they are betting on it. It's practically become a spectator sport.

So place your bets, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

Notes:

This is a re-uploaded work of mine from Wattpad - you can cross-check that I am the original author via both of my profiles. I no longer post on there, so I'm reposting it here to keep all my works in one place. I thought it was a fun romp and enjoyed writing the banter. Hope you like it! Haha~

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

No one knew exactly when it started.

Some theorized that it had always been there in their arguments, an undercurrent that was only now beginning to swell towards critical mass and make itself plainly visible. Others played detective, combating theories about certain incidents that may have set things into motion for the two of them. Still others argued they were seeing things; it was just another game for them to one-up the other, and for them to read into it like they did was just pure fantasizing on their parts.

'If you go by that logic about their arguments,' Marik had once said on an international call, unconvinced. 'Then what the hell is going on between him and the Pharaoh when they duel? Hmmm? We could read into that too, but we don't.'

Whatever the case, majority consensus said the tone for Joey and Kaiba's arguments were definitely starting to have more than one meaning to them.

It always started innocently enough. As innocently as fights can start, anyways. Usually, it was either some offhanded sarcastic comment that Kaiba had said, or it was something particularly inane that Joey had let tumble out of his mouth. And it always started the same:

''Ey, whadya say about me, ya jerk?!' Cue Joey's fisting of his hand into Kaiba's collar. Cue Kaiba's self-satisfied smirk.

'You heard me.' Cue Kaiba's usual cool, unruffled demeanor. 'Or are you really that deaf for a mutt?'

Cue Joey's inevitable angered interjection. 'Y'know what? Fuck you, Kaiba!'

Cue Kaiba's smirk growing wider, eyes narrowing at the blond in front of him. 'You wish.'

Right there. Right there is when the tone would change. It took Téa and them a bit to find it, that catalyst, but after the sheer empirical volume of arguments evolving into something else they'd had to endure, they had all become experts at observing exactly when it evolved from a simple argument into something else.

Cue Joey's mouth parting to exhale a shaky breath. Since Kaiba was the more eloquent of the two, it was often him that was the one that started it. However, there had been a few times in the past where Joey had instigated it; those ones tended to be the most heated, impassioned 'arguments' they'd had to endure. Also the most thinly-veiled ones; there were times they thought they might have to leave the room, else witness something they... didn't really want to witness.

Cue Joey leaning in a bit, eyes dark with anger but also with something else. 'What did ya say ta me, ya asshole?' He breathed, in a manner that could either be interpreted as low like a threat, or low like a come-on.

Despite his collar being fisted in the blond's and said blond supposedly a comment away from pummeling him, the brunet was on the verge of grinning. 'I said you wish you could fuck me, you stray mutt.' He shrugged and looked to the side nonchalantly, a fake innocent ploy that fooled absolutely no one. 'Though when it comes to assholes, it's more likely that yours is the one that's going to get fucked over.'

'Oh Jesus Christ,' Téa turned away, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. 

The rest of them shushed her and waved their hands to get her to be quiet. 'Shh, Téa! It's only just getting started.' Yugi hissed, watching as if it were a show at the circus. Téa pinched the bridge of her nose, already about done, but curiosity won out and she inevitably decided to stick around a bit longer.

'Is dat so?' Joey retorted, but without the complete edge that it once had. Something thicker, weighter, hung in his voice. Tristan could already hear in his head, clear as day, Duke arguing during the post-commentary about how that comment 'should have been complete spitfire', but ended up coming out as 'thinly-veiled anticipation'.

'Oh yes,' Seto inched in a hair's breath at this, only barely perceptive to anyone's eye. Bakura quickly recognized the look in Kaiba's eyes, that shiny glint of gleeful madness one has as they are closing in for the kill. Though in this case, he'd argue it was more closing in for the kiss, but with these two it was almost as if they were trying to do both.

'You really think you can top me, mutt?' Cue Kaiba's usual sound affect of derision - *Pfeh*.

'Ohhh, okay here we go. Now we're really rolling.' Duke shifted excitedly in his seat. He knew it almost by heart, now; he only would use that particular sound when he thought he was going to win. There were only two options after he'd brought that card into play: a quick, swift end, leaving Kaiba the obvious victor, or a long, drawn out battle, where it equally could be either of them. Duke was hoping for the second option. He always hoped for the second option. It was much more fun that way.

Something glimmered in Joey's eyes. Yugi caught it first, then Bakura, but eventually everyone else saw it too. They could almost feel each others' holding of their breath as they watched Joey, only a touch too slowly to consider it to be actually forceful, pushed Kaiba back a couple of steps against the nearby wall. Mai's mouth flat-lined; she'd watched Kaiba's gait as they walked back, and there was absolutely zero resistance to Joey's 'forceful' pushing of him. She could have bet money on it.

Well, darlin', I hope you're happy . She thought as she walked out, Téa eyeing her the entire time. She usually didn't stay too long, for reasons obvious to all of them. Frankly, it was still a wonder to the rest of them that she would even watch at all.

'Consider dis, Kaibs',' The smallest quiver of a smirk hung at the corners of Joey's mouth once he had Seto properly backed up against the wall. 'I wouldn't be askin' me if I think I could top ya, 'cause believe me-' The smirk began to break free on his face about here. '-I can, but instead I'd be askin' me if I think you could handle bein' beneath me.' His smirk was almost a grin now. 'Ever think of that?'

Duke pumped a fist in the air, excited; this was going to be one of those rare fights, where Joey has the upper hand early in. That usually shook up Kaiba enough to leave Joey a large margin and an unusually high chance at winning. With Kaiba's eyes widening, his mouth parting, and the expression on his face growing to be borderline debauched as Joey's words sunk in - oh yes, it was going to be one of those fights. He felt Tristan rub his face in his hands next to him, frowning.

'And what if I did?' Kaiba ventured in a bold move. Yami Yugi raised a keen eyebrow as he observantly noted the brunet's arching of his back off of the wall as he said this, jutting his hips forward in what appeared to be a subtle attempt to brush the others'. He smirked to himself. For all the posturing he puts up, these little skirmishes made it clear to him that if Joey was motivated enough to really establish dominance, especially early on, Kaiba was all too quick and even eager to submit to it.

He reached over and dropped his bet in the near-overflowing box discreetly hidden behind Tristan marked '2'. Yugi looked on, nodded, and dropped his money in as well. Bakura smirked, lightly tapping on the other box marked '1'. He was convinced that things weren't going to necessarily just end here.

Joey pulled in closer, barely grazing Seto's hip with his own as he smirked. 'Why, Kaiba, if ya wanted me ta give ya a proper wailin', all ya needed ta do was ask.'

Duke nearly whooped and hollered aloud when he heard the very audible, almost hissing sharp intake of breath Kaiba made following that statement. That was it, he already knew, and he wasn't often wrong. Both Bakura and Tristan looked almost betrayed as he gleefully placed his money in box '2'.

For a long moment, too long, they simply stood there, eyes locked and bodies so close to also being locked and the tension so thick one could cut it with a butter knife. As it stretched on, Téa felt herself concede and slowly, almost reluctantly, reached out her bet for box '2'.

She froze, bet still in hand, when Kaiba started chuckling darkly. Bakura grinned.

'You think I'd be that simplistic?' He said, placing his hands on Joey's around his collar. Tristan scooted forward on the edge of his seat in anticipation. Knowing their history, he thought it a pretty good chance he'd-

Yup, he's gonna do it, he thought excitedly.

Much like the second time they had met at Duelist Kingdom, Kaiba loosened the grip on his collar and used the leverage to fling Joey to the ground, where he landed on his knees. Téa gasped, clutching the money she'd almost parted with over her heart while both Yugi's frowned. Internally, she felt very relieved not placing her bet when she did; it seemed there was still more to come.

'You have a lot to learn, mutt,' Kaiba crossed his arms and his smirk threatened to burst into an all-out grin as he loomed over Joey. Tristan, Bakura and even Téa edged forward as Duke rolled his eyes and leaned back, clearly sour about the turn of events. Yugi was biting his nails in nervousness, while Yami Yugi's expression was carefully neutral.

Joey's brown eyes were dark with either passionate anger or lust as his breath became ragged. 'An' what, you think yer da one who can teach me?' He snorted derisively. 'Don't make me laugh.'

Kaiba walked one pace closer, making it so his crotch was now eye-level with Joey as he smirked down at the kneeling blonde. Téa tugged at the hem of her skirt and bit her lip; this was secretly one of her favorites and one of the main reasons she even watched the fights - not that she'd ever tell any of them that.

'I'd make you do a lot of things, Wheeler, but laughing certainly wouldn't be one of them.' He said, threatening either violence or pleasure. With an almost feral look in his eyes, he reached down and fisted a hand in Joey's hair, pulling him so his face was ever so slightly turned upwards. 'Especially considering I am very generous when it comes to giving a dog a bone.'

Téa had to cover a gasping sound as she flushed red. Bakura rubbed his hands together gleefully; his favorite parts were when Kaiba got particularly rough with Joey. Tristan, though Joey was his buddy through-and-through, secretly rooted for Kaiba as he watched Joey's mouth part with heavy breathing, eyes only for the briefest moments flicking  every so often from Kaiba's eyes to the leather-clad crotch inches from his upturned face.

'If you want it, you'll have to beg me for it.' Kaiba husked, his eyes glossing over with an angry want. At this, Téa quickly shoved her bet into the box marked '1'. With a victorious smirk, Bakura's bet soon followed, leaving Tristan the only one yet to place his bet in either box.

A slow smirk spread across Joey's face, causing Duke to sit to attention.

'Funny thing about dog owners,' Joey said, seemingly nonchalantly as he gripped a hand over the one fisted in his hair. 'A lot of da things they get for their dogs, end up being more ta their tastes than the actual dogs' tastes.'

In one swift motion, Joey jacknifed the back of Kaiba's knees, and wrested the brunet's grip off of his hair. Kaiba came tumbling down to the ground in a messy bundle of arms and legs. Kaiba, now supine, let out a wheezy exhale as Joey sat on his stomach and gripped his collar again.

'Oh, and another thing,' Joey said with a smirk, pulling up a bewildered and winded Kaiba up by his collar. 'Da underdog almost always ends up comin' out on top.'

'Woo!' Duke hollered excitedly before clapping his hand over his mouth. Everyone else hissed and shushed at him tersely to be quiet. 'Sorry,' He whispered. He wasn't sorry.

Joey leaned in to clinch the win, his smirk crooked and foreboding. 'Which brings us back to da beginnin',' He narrowed his eyes. 'You think you could handle bein' beneath me?'

Kaiba's audible swallow was like the shot heard round the world. Tristan fingered his bet nervously, flirting on indecision but knowing he was running out of time to place it. Yugi and Yami were both positively grinning.

The look on Kaiba's face grew defiant and deviant all at once. He propped himself up on his elbows, the space between their faces now less than a foot apart. 'I can handle anything you can dish out and more, Wheeler.'

Bakura whistled into his fist before biting into his knuckle. Tristan shook his head, convinced. He placed his bet in box '1', causing both Téa and Bakura to clap him on the shoulder in camaraderie as Duke gave him the dirtiest scowl he could muster. Now that all the bets had been placed, it was time to watch this thing till the end.

Joey edged in further, subtly licking his lips. 'I'd be careful whatcha wish for, rich boy.'

Duke edged on his seat at this. Even Yami perked up as he saw Kaiba's eyes flick down to where Joey was dragging his tongue a little too slowly. Yugi was practically bouncing up and down excitedly next to him.

'Why?' Kaiba dared, moving in an inch closer. 'Because I usually get what I want?'

'Shiiiiiiit,' Tristan hissed excitedly, followed by a cacophony of harsh shushes.

Joey's smirk was turning into a grin. Another inch closer; there were only three inches left between them now. 'Is that what you want, rich boy?'

Duke was grabbing at his hair in tense expectation.

Something flashed across Kaiba's face, starved and hungry. Like he was getting exasperated by this little game and desperately wanted to scream: 'YES, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES, THAT IS WHAT I WANT, DAMNIT.' He bit down on his lip. Hard. As if it was the only thing to keep him from screaming this.

Everyone gasped. This was something new.

Joey blinked repeatedly, watching the struggle on Kaiba's face. A dark blush along with a look of astonishment bloomed onto his face as it slowly seemed to dawn on him that maybe, just possibly, he really did bring Kaiba to his breaking point.

They all gasped again, even louder this time - Joey had never blushed before, either.

Téa, Yugi and Duke were all clutching at their hearts, eyes wide. Tristan's hands were gripped so tightly into shaking fists that his nails bit into his skin. Bakura looked about ready to snarl and break anything and everything in sight; he did not take kindly to losing. And as for the King of Games, well, you could already see him preparing his victory speech in his head.

Joey swallowed, suddenly nervous that some invisible line had finally been crossed. Was Kaiba ready to punch him, or to-?

'Kaiba?' Was all that tumbled out of his mouth. A question that, instead of coming out as a goading demand, came out as an uncertain query.

The brunet was breathing heavily through his nose. The slight whistle would have been almost comical, if the moment weren't so tense and uncertain. Joey loosened his grip a bit on Kaiba's collar, only to jump in surprise when one of the brunet's hands clamped down hard and immediate on them, as if to keep them from moving away further.

Everyone was on the edge of their seats. This was new territory and they'd be damned if they didn't see every godforsaken second of how this played itself out.

Joey pressed his lips together as his eyes seemed to shift anywhere but on Kaiba. He took a deep breath, then looked Kaiba square in the eyes.

'Kaiba, I-'

*BRRRRRRRRRRRRINGG!*

Saved by the bell. As usual.

'God DAMNIT!' Duke kicked at the desk he was sitting at as he stomped loudly out of the room. 'I was so damn close to winning this week!'

Bakura's chuckles turned into a full-out maniacal laugh as he divvied out that week's winnings between him, Tristan and Téa. He gave Yami a gloating smirk as he handed him the rest of the ever-growing jackpot to him. 'Seems that you've lost your touch, Pharaoh.'

Yami gave him a cold stare as he took the cashbox to lock away for safekeeping. 'Or perhaps I am purposefully adding to my winnings for the day I will win the jackpot,' He said, turning heel and exiting the room with a despondent Yugi in tow.

'Yeah, sure Pharaoh,' Bakura kept laughing as he followed after him. 'Whatever will help you to sleep at night.'

'Man, that sure was a close one,' Téa wiped at her forehead as she counted her winnings with Tristan. 'For a second there, I thought that this was finally gonna be the end.'

'Oh man, me too,' Tristan replied, stuffing the bills into his wallet and putting it away. 'I wouldn't be surprised if it was close, though.'

'Yeah, no kidding,' Téa replied, folding up her cash as the two of them exited the room together.

The room fell silent, the only two occupants remaining being the actors bet upon in the side show. Joey and Kaiba remained in position, seemingly waiting to be sure that everyone was out of hearing range.

Once they were both certain that they could no longer hear the echo of footsteps down the hall, they both burst into raucous laughter.

'Oh man,' Joey said, wiping at the tears already in his eyes as he climbed off of Kaiba. 'Did ya SEE them this week??'

'Devlin looked about ready to lose his shit,' Seto managed between hearty guffaws. 'He nearly pulled his damn ponytail out of his dice-filled head when you asked me that last question.'

Joey's laughter died down as he helped pull Kaiba to his feet. 'Hey, speakin' a' which, dat was a pretty nice touch,' He said, his laughter now quieted down to a chuckle. 'I gotta say, ya really had dem all eatin' outta yer hand when ya bit yer lip like dat.' He clapped his hand onto Kaiba's back before working on brushing himself off. 'Good job, rich boy.'

Kaiba swallowed hard, looking uneasily at Joey as he was absorbed in brushing off any dust he might have acquired from the floor during their little skirmish. 'Heh heh, right...' He looked off to the side, panicked anxiety only flashing for the briefest of moments across his eyes as he busied himself patting down his slightly-mussed hair. 'All in a day's work.'

Joey shook his head and chuckled, running a hand through his own hair.

Kaiba crossed his arms and gave him a genial smile, one eyebrow raised. 'You were pretty good yourself, Wheeler.' He complimented. 'Since when did you learn how to blush on cue?'

Joey thanked every diety that might have existed that his face was turned away from Kaiba when he asked that. He knew that if he'd seen his face right then, it would have looked 1) white as a sheet, and 2) like a deer caught in the headlights.

He forced out a laugh before the pause went on too long. 'Oh, you know,' He said, shoving his hands in his pockets before the brunet could suspect that they might have started sweating. 'It's always been a gift. Just didn't have da proper time ta use it till now.'

'Understandable,' Seto said. They both chuckled, contributing to the afterglow, hoping it would mask anything they didn't want to peek out. A small silence sat between them, only half-comfortable.

'I wonder what they must think we do after this,' Joey said, shaking his head at the thought as he looked out the window. 'I betcha dey think we go home and furiously masturbate or somethin'.'

Seto fumbled his rumpled collar with slightly shaky hands at Joey's comment, his face looking like he was unknowingly being called out. 'Heh heh, most likely,' He bit out, certain by now that he was visibly sweating. 'Or perhaps have some kind of secret journal full of unsent love letters all addressed by 'anonymous' that we cry over every night, or something just as cheesy.'

Joey's toes curled in his shoes as his blood ran cold. His hands went clammy inside his pockets and he was sure he was 'blushing on cue' again. 'Haha, yeah,' He said, hoping he didn't swallow too loud for Kaiba to hear as he tried not to think about a certain incriminating book under his bed that may or may not exist. 'Like, for real - do we look like da types a' people who'd do dose things?'

Kaiba shook his head, a bit too fast. 'Ha hah, not at all.' He said. 'Definitely not.'

'For real,' Joey confirmed, nodding his head as he discreetly chewed on his lower lip.

The silence between them now was stretched out much longer and thicker than the last. The two boys looked pointedly away from each other, each wearing their own clearly perturbed expression as they muddled in their own thoughts.

'Well, so uh, dis was fun!' Joey said quickly.

'Yeah.' Seto responded, clipped and just as quickly.

'Next week, den?'

'Wouldn't miss it for the world.'

'Great! Good! Ok! Well uh, see ya then!'

'Alright then.'

'Bye!'

'Goodbye.'

They both broke into a brisk walk out of the room, going for opposite doors as if they needed to leave each others' presence as immediately as possible. Kaiba fluidly pulled his belongings out of his locker, locked it, and walked at a breakneck pace towards the exit. Joey took considerably longer, his sweaty hands fumbling with the lock on his locker, cursing himself as Kaiba practically galloped past him and exploded through the doors. Once Kaiba had left, however, he gave up all pretense of fumbling with his lock and slid down against it to the floor, running a clammy hand through his hair and sighing deeply.

Meanwhile, Kaiba was in a full-on run once he was out of Joey's sight. Throwing his things into the limo before diving in himself, he'd barely slammed the door shut before mashing the button on the intercom and barking, 'Drive!'

The tires squealed in the school parking lot as his chauffeur hit the gas. They lurched forward and zoomed out, twenty miles over the speed limit. Kaiba cradled his face in his shaky hands as he tried to stave off the sheer waves of mortification; he had been so close to breaking today. If it had gone on even a minute longer, that would have been the end of it.

Back at the school, Joey took a bouncy ball he kept in his pocket for such purposes so as to angrily throw something at the walls without breaking anything. Today he was lobbing it so hard he was surprised it didn't hit him in the face and take out his eye or something. He was starting to seriously consider hitting up a convenience store on the way home, purchasing a fuckton of lighter fluid, dousing the book that totally didn't exist under his bed in it, and setting it on fire.

How the fuck did I even get into this mess? They both thought to themselves, beating themselves up. I'm such an idiot.

---

Back in Egypt, Ishizu dropped a plate she was holding as a vision hit her like a speeding train.

'Sister, what is it?!' Marik ran in from the other room, worried.

'Oh... oh my...' Ishizu said, wide-eyed. Odion pulled up to her side, worried.

'Are you having a vision, my sister?' Odion asked, his tone dark and grave.

'Yes...' She said, blinking. A loud exhale and her sudden clutching at her head indicated it was over. Odion and Marik swooped in on cue to keep her from falling to the floor.

'What is it? What did you see, sister?' Marik asked, eyes full of concern.

'A bit more than I wanted to see,' She muttered under her breath. They looked at her confused.

'Never mind that,' She said, squaring her shoulders and got to her feet again. 'Brothers, it is time we went back to America to check on our friends.'

'And why is that, dear sister?' Marik said, not understanding her train of thought. Odion looked on, equally as confused.

She turned slowly to face them. 'Because,' An uncharacteristic smirk bloomed on her face. 'It is about time I placed a bet.'

Notes:

I had so much fun writing this fanwork back in the day. I loved all the comments I got mid-work on Wattpad. But, times have changed, and so have fandoms. Although... I do have a couple other unpublished YGO fanworks still lurking in my hard drive. Now I'm tempted~

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, hahaha~