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Chapter Text

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The noose around his neck tightened. He could feel the rope crushing the bones on his neck. He couldn't breathe. His hands were on the rope, trying to pull it off of his neck. His feet were kicking as his body was trying to fight for air.

All he could hear was the sound of his own blood rushing, and his brain was pulsing against his skull with the lack of oxygen. His vision was starting to blur, and his eyes met brown ones, and suddenly, it felt like he wasn't dying alone, despite the fact that he was surrounded by people thirsty for revenge, revenge for the murder of Wells.

He didn't kill him, but nobody listened to him. Bellamy didn't listen to him, deciding to listen to Clarke as she accused him of murdering Wells just because the knife he lost ended up near Wells' fingers.

Then suddenly he was falling to the ground and the rope around his neck loosened, and it took a minute for oxygen to enter his body, his head was hurting, but his neck was worse, his throat ached as he breathed, the air hitting his bruised throat only made it worse.

Quickly as he could, he removed the rope from his neck and tossed it far away from him as wheezed coughs escaped him. His whole body was aching from the beating that he had received after Clarke's accusation.

Tears were streaming down his face. It hurt. Everything was hurting.

".. Murphy." A hand touched his shoulder, but he flinched away from it, his head snapping towards the person touching him, and it was Clarke.

Anger coursed through his body, and he slapped her hand away, and despite all the pain his body was feeling at the moment, he stood up, and stumbling away, ignoring Clarke who was calling out for him.

His feet could barely keep him walking in a straight line as he headed towards his tent, wanting to hide away from everyone.

It took him longer than it should've to reach his tent, but once he did, he all but collapsed on the ground, coughing, specks of blood flew past his lips and into the ground.

He let out a small cry, but there was no sound. His shoulders were shaking as he cried, but no noise escaped from his mouth.

He felt himself panicking as he tried to say something, just anything, maybe just a small noise, but nothing. No sound came out.

He brought his hand to his throat, and his fingers barely brushed against his bruised throat when he flinched and pulled his hand away from his throat.

He crawled to the furthest part of the tent away from the entrance, and he pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself, trying to protect himself from everyone outside of his tent.

This just had to be a nightmare. He couldn't be.. No, he still has his voice. He just needed to wait. All he needed to do was wait until his throat healed, and then he'll have his voice back.

His chest was heaving as his breathing was erratic. His body shook as he sobbed, but no noise came out with his silent sobs.

It wasn't a nightmare. He was awake, and his voice was gone.

He flinched as he heard footsteps outside of his tent, but nobody came inside and for that he was relieved because he didn't know how he would react if someone did enter his - no, the tent. He wasn't going to be sticking around any longer. He would rather take his chances with the grounders than stick around with the people who tried to kill him, then stick around with Bellamy.

The thought of Bellamy made him wipe his tears away. As he thought about those moments they spent together, all he could think was that Bellamy was the one tying that noose around his neck.

As much as he felt angry at Bellamy, as much as he hated him at the moment, a part of him still loved him, God, he felt such an idiot for easily falling in love with him, and he wanted to take that love and burn it, so all that was left when he thought about Bellamy was hate.

But a part of him couldn't stop loving him, and Murphy wished that the part that still loved Bellamy could've gone away with his voice. It was easier than feeling the hurt from Bellamy's betrayal.

Bellamy didn't love him back. That was clear. Bellamy would've let him die. If Bellamy loved him, then he would've stopped them.. Stop them from taking his voice.

He was startled as someone entered the tent like he owned it, and he clenched his jaw when he saw who it was.

"Murphy -" His hand reached for the pile of rocks he kept in case someone decided to bother him at night and his arm ached as he tossed the rock at Bellamy, who luckily was able to block his face before the rock smack him in the face, his arm stung a little as the rock collided with his arm.
" - What the hell?!"

Another rock was thrown at him. This time, it hit him on the side of his head, and he took the hint. He backed out of Murphy's tent, bringing a hand up to the side of his head with a wince. The area where the rock hit was aching, but it was nothing compared to the pain Murphy must be feeling.

He should've stopped them. He should've agrued with Clarke about accusing Murphy. He should've protected him, thrown himself over Murphy when they were beating him. Everything inside of him was screaming at him to do something, to protect Murphy, but he didn't.

He didn't do any of those things, and now Murphy hates him and probably will hate him for the rest of their lives.

That thought pained him, but he deserved it. He deserved all the hate that he was going to receive from Murphy. All he could do now was make it up to him and hope that maybe one day, Murphy would be able to forgive him.

"..Hey," Bellamy tore his gaze away from Murphy's tent and towards Clarke, who approached him. "How is he?"

Bellamy scoffed, feeling pissed at Clarke, but also at himself. "He's Murphy. Why do you even care? You're the one who accused him in front of everyone without thinking of the consequences."

"I let my anger cloud my judgment -"

"And it could've killed Murphy." Bellamy told her, interrupting her and Clarke's guilt ridden eyes, filled with anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I am not the one who stood by and watched!" She snapped at him, all the guilt that she was feeling was suddenly coming out as anger. "You had the power to stop them, but you didn't. So don't blame me for the guilt that you feel."

Bellamy looked away from her. She was right. She always was. Clarke went to walk into the tent, only to let out a small yell as a rock hit her against the shoulder, and she jumped back out, her eyes slightly wide.

"Be careful of the flying rocks." Bellamy warned her, and Clarke snapped her head towards him with a glare on her face.

"Thanks for the warning." Her tone was full of sarcasm, and she let out a deep sighed. "Murphy, I understand that you hate me right now, but I need to check your injuries."

There was no response. No fuck off Clarke or go float yourself. Just silence.

Clarke shared a glance with Bellamy before she looked at Octavia, who approached them. She threw them a glare, and she headed into the tent, Bellamy was about to warn her about the flying rocks, but there was no yelp, no shout.

Octavia peaked her out of the tent a second later. "Go away." She told them before she disappeared back inside of the tent.

Clarke deeply sighed before she walked off, possibly to think about what to do about Charlotte. Bellamy stood outside of the tent for a couple of more seconds before he walked away.

Meanwhile, inside of the tent, Octavia dropped herself on Murphy's bed with a deep groan. She didn't ask him if he was okay. She knew he wasn't. She didn't talk because Murphy wasn't much of a talker about himself. She simply sat on his bed and offered comfort by simply being with him.

She was also seeking comfort and a place to hide away from Bellamy for a while. Murphy's tent was just the place for that, knowing Murphy didn't want her stupid brother near him at the moment.

Murphy stared at Octavia, wondering why the hell she was in his tent, but he couldn't ask her. Tears burned at his eyes, and he clenched his hands into fists.

He needed someone to know. He needed someone to know that his voice was gone. He needed someone because he didn't want to be alone in this. Octavia tried to stop them, she tried to fight everyone, but Bellamy had held her back.

It was hard to trust someone after what happened, but Murphy didn't need to trust her, not completely.

His hand had reached out before his mind could catch up to what his body was doing, and he lightly shoved Octavia's leg, earning her attention on him.

He shakily brought his hand back to himself and towards his throat, his hand stopping inches away from his bruised throat. "Does it hurt to talk? It's okay, we don't have to talk."

Murphy shook his head and gestured towards his throat against before gesturing towards his mouth, and he could see the moment it clicked for Octavia. He heard her quietly inhaling, almost like a small quiet gasp. ".. your voice,"

"It's gone?" Hearing it out loud made the tears slide down his cheeks, and he gave her a small nod, wincing at the movement. "Oh god.. Murphy -" Octavia cut herself off as Murphy looked away from her, closing his eyes.

Octavia clenched her jaw. "I'll be right back." She stood up from the bed, and she stormed out of the tent, and the delinquents turned to look at her, but everyone stayed out her way, scared to face the wrath of Octavia Blake.

Her eyes instantly found her brother, and she stormed over to him, surging her right fist out and striking Bellamy across the face, earning gasps from the delinquents around them.

Bellamy snapped his head towards Octavia with slight wide eyes in disbelief. "O -"

"Don't." Octavia harshly interrupted. "Don't say anything." Because Murphy couldn't say anything either, but she didn't tell him that Murphy lost his voice because she wanted her brother to suffer with his choice to hang Murphy.

"You deserve more than that." She spat out, glaring at him. "You deserve to be hanged for what you did," She glanced around. "You all do! To see how it feels to be beaten and hanged! You all deserve to be punished!"

She looked back at Bellamy. She didn't say anything, just shook her head and turned around, heading back to Murphy's tent.

She hopes karma bites them all in the ass for what they did...

For what they took.

☆
1892 words

Thoughts?

Chapter Text

-

John Murphy never felt more digusted in himself than he was right now. His skin felt like it was crawling with insects, and his mind was plagued with vicious flashes of something that he wanted to forget, but those memories, those touches, and that moment, he could never forget it as much as he tried to push it to the back of his mind and lock it in a box forever.

Ontari haunted him, ruined what was left of him, and took something that he wished she never did. He barely even closes his eyes, and he sees her, feels her on him, and it is sickening. His stomach turned at the thought of her, but with nothing in his stomach, he couldn't puke, and despite the pains his stomach was giving as it pleas for food, he couldn't bring himself to eat. He couldn't even sleep, and everyone took notice of this, yet nobody bothered to ask him if he was doing okay.

Why would they? He was Murphy, the asshole, the selfish prick everyone seems to think he is. Nobody cares about him, except for Emori, his only friend. He couldn't tell her about what Ontari did to him because he was afraid of Emori leaving him.

He was afraid that she would blame him like he blamed himself. He was afraid that she would find him sick and tell him that she never wanted to be near him again. He couldn't bear the thought of Emori leaving him. She was the only one willing to be with him.

She loved him, and he loved her. Not like lovers, no, they tried that, but they decided it was better if they just stayed friends, best friends to be extact, family even. The two of them sticked together because nobody else wanted them around.

He was afraid of losing her, and he would rather lose himself than ever lose Emori.

".. John," Murphy lifted his head, his eyes meeting worried ones. The only one who was allowed to call him John was Emori because she told him she liked John better than Murphy. He didn't bother trying to get her to call him Murphy. He actually liked it when she called him John. "Are you going to stare at your food all day, or are you going to eat it?"

Murphy looked down at his food with a grimace, his stomach aching, but he pushed it away from him. "You can have it."

Emori sighed. She knew he was having trouble eating, but she knew better than to force him to tell her what was wrong. She was worried about him, everyone was. She swore Bellamy was going to even force the food down Murphy's throat if Clarke hadn't intervened.

It was painfully obvious that Bellamy likes Murphy and Murphy as well, and she swores those two are so dumb, and the tension is so awkward, well at least her, Bellamy's attempts of flirting, and dropping hints gave her second hand embarrassment, while Murphy thought Bellamy was being mean to him, why else would Bellamy ever talk to him?

"Are you okay, John?" She questioned, leaning her arms on the table with a worry gaze. "You know you can talk to me." She reached her hand out to place it on top of his, but Murphy pulled his hand away, ignoring the hurt look in Emori's eyes, but the worry.

"I'm fine." Murphy insisted. No, he wasn't. "I'm just not hungry." He was starving, and his head was hurting. He felt nauseous, and he took a quiet, deep breath. "I'm gonna see if Abby needs me for anything." He gave Emori a small smile before he stood up and walked away, ignoring her worry gaze on him.

Ever since he had his hand inside Ontari's chest, he's been sticking close to Abby, like a traumatized child seeking out comfort from a mother. Abby wasn't his mother, but she was the closest thing he had to a mother figure. She treated him like a mother would treat a child, and there was this understanding in her eyes whenever she looked at him. It wasn't pity or anger, but understanding.

".. Murphy, we need to talk." Murphy glanced at Bellamy, who was walking beside him, close, too close. Murphy moved to the side, wrapping his arms around himself.

"I didn't do it." Murphy was quick to defend himself. He was staying out of trouble per Abby's request and for Emori's sake. Emori could only bail him out so many times before she ran out of excuses. "I've been with Emori all day."

"What?" Bellamy furrowed his eyes in confusion before he shook his head. "You're not in trouble, Murphy. I just want to talk."

Murphy deeply sighed. "What do you want me to do this time? I have to talk to Abby first, but I'm sure she can find another assistant -"

"Murphy." Bellamy interrupted him, quickly stepping in front of him to block his way. "Why is it so hard for you to understand that I just want to talk to you?"

Murphy scoffed. "Because when you talk to me, you're bossing me around."

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "Look, we can either talk here right in the open or we could go somewhere more private, but we're talking, your choice." He crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Murphy waiting for his answer.

"Okay, fine. Just make it quick, I need to find Abby." Abby would make him busy around the medical room, busy enough not to think about ontari.

"Follow me then, and don't even think about running." Bellamy warned him, and Murphy raised his hands in mock surrender before wrapping them around himself again, which Bellamy took notice of.

Bellamy took Murphy somewhere more private, his room, and once the door closed behind him. He turned to face Murphy. "Okay, spill it. What's going on with you?"

Murphy looked at him with annoyance. "No. We are not talking about me. Is that what you wanted to talk about? Great, you wasted like five minutes of my time."

Murphy went to leave the room, but Bellamy was blocking the door. "Move, Bellamy, I don't have time for this."

"No." Bellamy stood his ground, watching Murphy's every movement. "You're not leaving until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you."

Murphy scoffed. "I don't know what you mean. Nothing is wrong with me. Move your -"

Murphy's insult was interrupted by Bellamy. "You're not eating." Murphy tensed, narrowing his eyes at the giant moron in front of him. "You're not sleeping. You spend all your time with either Emori or with Abby,"

"You flinched away when someone gets too close to you. You moved away from me earlier. " Bellamy told him, and Murphy couldn't believe that he noticed all of that.

"Okay, wow, you're a stalker." Murphy said, trying to change the subject from himself. He was freaking out. His skin was becoming more and more uncomfortable.

"You're deflecting." Bellamy stated. "Stop it and just tell me what's wrong, or I'm going march over to Abby and tell her that you haven't been eating or sleeping and that you are a lability."

Murphy clenched his jaw, and his chest was aching with panic. The instinct to run was strong. "You.. you can't do that!"

Murphy's breathing picked up. Bellamy couldn't take away the only thing that was keeping him from breaking down. "I didn't do anything wrong! Why are you doing this to me?!"

"Because I care about you." Bellamy admitted. "Believe it or not, I really do care about you, I'm worried about you. Everyone is." He walked closer to Murphy , noticing his panic state.

"Murphy, you need to calm down and take a deep breath." His hands reach out towards him, and Murphy reacted before he could stop himself.

He slapped Bellamy's hands away from him. "Don't touch me, ontari! I..I said no!"

Murphy brought his hands up to his hair, gripping his hair while Bellamy stood frozen for a second, mouthing ontari's name in confusion, but then it all started to make sense. He snapped out of his shock. "Murphy,"

He didn't want to touch Murphy without his permission, but Murphy was hurting himself, and he couldn't let him. Bellamy reached out, only this time with more gentleness than before. He placed his hands on top of Murphy's, making the younger man freeze and tense under his touch, and Bellamy gently pulled Murphy's hands away from his hair and held them in his. "It's okay."

Blue watery eyes met his. "It's okay," Bellamy ressured him. "I'm not going to tell Abby anything, I promise you, but she is worried about you, I'm worried about you,"

"Will you tell me what ontari did to you?" Murphy stared into Bellamy's eyes as tears slid down his face.

"I said no, Bellamy." Murphy told him, his voice wavering. "I said no, but she..she didn't listen to me.. I can't,"

"I can't get it out of my head.." Murphy pulled his hands away from Bellamy's in favor of wrapping his arms around himself. "I'm pathetic, I know -"

"No." Bellamy shook his head. "You are far from that."

"She forced herself on me!" Murphy snapped. "I should've been stronger! I should've done something, but instead, I let her.. I let her.."

"It's not your fault, John." Bellamy reached out, only pausing as Murphy flinched, but he slowly cupped the side of Murphy's face, then he leaned his head against his, looking into those beautiful eyes. "What ontari did to you? It is not your fault,"

"You didn't ask for it. She forced herself on you. That sick bitch is the pathetic one, not you, you, John Murphy are strong, and you are a survivor." Murphy couldn't contain his emotions anymore.

Murphy let out a sob before he was pulled into Bellamy's embrace. Bellamy wrapped one arm around Murphy's waist while running his fingers through his hair in a comforting manner.

He wished he could've tortured that bitch for what she did to Murphy. Murphy didn't deserve that, and Bellamy was going do everything in power to make sure Murphy knows that, knows that it wasn't his fault that he wasn't too blamed for what happened.

No means no. There were only a few people that understood that, but there were many like ontari.

That bitch was lucky that she was dead because if she wasn't, there is nothing in the world that could stop him from hunting that sick psycho down and killing her.

This was just the start of Murphy's healing progress, but Bellamy silently promised that he was going to be there with him every step of the way.

No one was ever going to lay a hand on Murphy ever again.

☆
1804 words

Thoughts?

Chapter Text

Murphy's pov.
-

".. Murphy!" I held back a groan as Bellamy burst into my room that I was lucky enough to get far away from everyone else, but Bellamy was always in my room like he didn't have his own. "Get up."

I rolled my eyes at him. I was comfortable in my bed, and the muscles in my body were relaxing after a long day of working with Abby in medical. I was exhausted, and I wasn't about to get up because of Bellamy. "No. Get out of my room."

He didn't. He stood there, staring at me, and I let out a groan, sitting up. "Why? What do you want from me, Bellamy?"

"We're going hunting, and we need a medic with us, and you're the only one available," he said. "Trust me, I wouldn't want you coming with us if I had a choice, but I don't. So we're stuck with you."

Okay, that stung a little. Sure, I'm not the greatest person to be around, but could they at least hide it? No, they don't. They all just love hurting my feelings, which they think I don't have, especially Raven, but she had a reason to hate me for the rest of her life, I regret what I did to her, i regret a lot of things, but nobody cared that I did, nobody cared that I was trying to be better, nobody cared that I'm a different person now, well sorta, but I'm getting there.

Scoffing, I swung my legs over my bed and stood up. "Fine, who's coming with? Besides you." I needed to grab a few things and a weapon, knowing Bellamy, he wouldn't give me one even if we were all in danger. He didn't trust me, and that's fine, I don't need his stupid trust.

I don't need stupid Bellamy to protect me.

"Miller, Jasper, Raven -" Shit, was it just 'we all hate Murphy' group? "Octavia and Lincoln." Okay, I could just hang with those two. Octavia and Lincoln were the only ones who didn't hate me. Well, Lincoln, he didn't hate me, but Octavia and I were on good terms, and she was actually nice to hang around, unlike her brother.

I nodded. "Okay. I'll need to stop by medical, and I'll meet you at the gates."

"Be there in ten." With that, that big jerk walked out of my room leaving the door wide open and I know he's doing that on purpose being so fucking annoying for no reason at all.

"Be there in ten." I mocked him under my breath as I grabbed a few things I needed.

Once I finished grabbing the stuff I needed, I walked out of my room, closing the door behind me. I let out a small sighed, leaning my head against the door, closing my eyes. My body was still exhausted, but I knew Bellamy wouldn't care. I could be dying, and he still would tell me to hurry up.

I opened my eyes and leaned back before I made my way towards the medical. Maybe I could grab something to knock Bellamy out when he annoys me too much.

He will be pissed but it'll be so worth it.

___________
(Bellamy's pov)
-

Ten minutes. I told Murphy ten minutes, and it's been thirteen minutes. He's three minutes late! What the hell could he be doing that so important? More important than being on time? I can't believe I was forced to bring him. We would've been on our way already if it wasn't for Murphy -

"You look like you're about to have a stroke." Speaking of that little shit, he finally made an appearance, walking over to us with a grin on his face and.. who the fuck is that behind him?

"Who the hell is that?" I questioned, gesturing towards the guy behind Murphy who looked nervous.

Murphy rolled his eyes at me, and I narrowed my eyes at him. My chest tightened as I saw how close the guy was to Murphy. I clenched my jaw in anger. Why the hell is he standing so close to him? Why do I even care? I don't care about Murphy, and I shouldn't care who he - did he bring him to his room? No, Murphy doesn't like anyone in his room.

"Relax, Bellamy," the way my name rolled of his tongue stirred something inside of me. "This is Joe, Abby assigned him to me to 'train him'. That means be nice to him."

I forced a smile on my face. "I'm always nice." That earned a small snort from Jasper. I ignored him as Joe leaned closer to Murphy, whispering something in his ear, causing him to chuckle.

"We should get going." Raven spoke, earning all of our attention. Her eyes were narrowed into a glare towards Murphy. No doubt she was going to try and warn the new guy about him.

"Yeah, keep up." I told Murphy and Joe before I started walking away, heading out of the gates with the others following me.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Murphy walking with Lincoln and Octavia, Joe was behind them, looking at Murphy like he hung the stars.

He shouldn't be looking at Murphy like that. Nobody should, Murphy didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to be loved - "but you love him." A voice in my head that sounded so much like Clarke said.

".. you love him, Bellamy," Clarke was wrong. We were talking one day when she came back from Polis, and I was complaining about Murphy to her. "You love Murphy." She laughed, but it was mostly cause she was drunk at the time, but it got me thinking.

That feeling I felt when I saw Joe so close to Murphy, leaning in his personal space, to whisper in his ear, that was jealousy, and a bit of possessiveness. I mean, nobody should be that close to Murphy! Murphy didn't push him away. He laughed at whatever Joe said. What the hell was so funny?

And Joe shouldn't be looking at Murphy like that because Murphy isn't his, no, he's mine, well, not yet, but I'm working on that.

I glanced at him. He had a small smile on his face as Octavia spoke to him, but what caught my attention was the exhaustion in his eyes. I remember Abby telling me that Murphy had worked all day yesterday through the whole night. She just gave him a break a few minutes before I barged into his room. I felt bad, Murphy should be resting, he should be sleeping, not out hunting with us.

I had to resist the urge to turn around and drag Murphy back to his room and tell him to sleep because he looked like a walking corpse.. was he getting enough to eat? Was he even eating?

Was he starving himself?

____________
(Murphy's pov)
-

Bellamy was acting weird. He kept glancing at me every few minutes, thinking I probably wouldn't notice, but I did, everyone did. He wasn't bothering to hide it. Octavia even offered to knock some sense into him if it bothered me, which it did, but I told her no. I could handle it, but it was starting to get annoying, especially with Joe being so close to me. Has he not learned about personal space?

Luckily for me, Lincoln and Octavia seemed to notice the discomfort that Joe brought me whenever he was near me, and the two of them stood next to me to keep him away. I would admit he was a bit creepy, and I know Abby was dying to get him out of the medical wing.

".. hey, Murphy," I glanced at Raven, who was now walking beside me, leaving Jasper by himself behind us. She avoided me for a long time, and now she's talking to me. This wasn't good. I know whatever she's going to say was going to be hurtful. It always is. "I'm surprised Abby's letting you teach someone, let alone teaching you,"

"I'm sure it's a really hard job on her having to read everything for you - "

"She has a nice reading voice." I interrupted her with a forced smile on my face.

"What are you even doing here, Murphy?" She questioned, glaring at me. "We don't need you. Not now, not ever. Just do us all a favor and leave."

I narrowed my eyes at her, and her words hurt. "Bellamy -"

"Bellamy is just keeping you around because he thinks you're useful, which you're not. All you're good for is -"

"Raven, I think that's enough." Jasper butted in, but we ignored him. I stopped, causing her to stop. The others were ahead of us, unknowing of our conversation.

"No, go ahead, Raven. Finish that sentence." I told her that despite the fact I know it was going to hurt, her words were going to stab a knife in my heart, hell, it was only going to stab the knife in deeper that already there.

Raven took a step closer to me. "Nobody cares about you, Murphy. Stop acting like they do, Octavia, Lincoln, they don't care about you, they only tolerate you because they can't get rid of you, you're like a cockroach we're all been trying to get rid of, but you're sneaky and disgusting and you just keep coming back,"

"Abby doesn't care about you. She's not your mom," Okay, that one did hurt because Abby, she treated me like a human. She was the only one who treated me like she cared about me, or at least I tried to believe that. She didn't make fun of me when I told her that I had trouble reading, nor did she get frustrated when she helped me read. "So quit acting like she is,"

"You are a good for nothing trash." My eyes felt warm, and I cursed myself for the tears that welled up in my eyes.

"Raven." Jasper hissed out, finally having enough, pushing her away from me, but it was already too late. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you have to be such a bitch?"

I took a deep breath. "It's fine," my voice felt heavy as my throat ached. "She's right. Thanks for telling me what I already know, Raven."

I sniffled, looking away from them. "Good luck with the hunt. Tell the others I went back. You guys don't need me." I took off the bag that carried the medical supplies and tossed it at Raven. It landed by her feet. "Hopefully, you won't need it."

I started walking away from them, heading back to Arkadia as tears streamed down my face. I was walking fast, I ignored Jasper as he called out for me, telling me it was dangerous to be on my own, to come back, but I couldn't, I wouldn't. I don't care if it was dangerous to be on my own. It was better this way.

I walked through the woods, stepping over roots, and as soon as I knew I was out of Jasper's and Raven's sight, my walking turned into running.

I just needed to get far away from them as possible.

_________
(Bellamy's pov)
-

".. Bellamy! Bellamy!" I stopped and turned to face Jasper, who rushed over to me, shouting my name. "Murphy's gone. He's going back to Arkadia by himself."

"What? What do you mean?" We're miles away from Arkadia, and it's almost dark. It's dangerous for Murphy to be out on his own. What the hell possessed him to just go back?

Jasper let out a scoff as Raven joined us carrying Murphy's bag, and everything made sense now. I glared at her, approaching her. "What the fuck did you do!?"

Raven scoffed. "We don't need him -"

"Yes, we do!" I interrupted her, not caring how harsh by tone was. Murphy was gone because of her, and if anything happened to him, nothing, and I mean nothing, was going to stop me from killing her. "How long ago did he leave?"

"He's probably close by, but.." Jasper trailed off, and despite how much an asshole he's been lately, he actually looked guilty, upset. "Man, I've never seen him look that.. sad before."

Octavia and Lincoln walked past me at a hurried pace. "We're going after him." She threw a glare at Raven.

"Try your best to keep up."I spat out towards her before hurrying away, rushing past Octavia and Lincoln. I needed to find Murphy and fast.

We might have a peace treaty with the grounders, but there were still a few we had to worry about, and the wild animals.

He better be - A loud scream echoed through the air, and my heart stilled. "Murphy." I breathed out, and my body moved before my mind could catch up that I was running with everything that I had to get to Murphy.

I could hear the others right behind, but everything seemed to be a blur at this moment. All I could think about was Murphy. There wasn't a second scream or a shout. Nothing but silence followed that scream.

".. watch out!" A grounder had run out ready to kill me, but Octavia sliced through him before I could even react.

"Murphy!? Murphy, where are you!?" I yelled, hoping he was still alive and nearby.

"Murphy!"

".. are you always this loud?" I snapped my head towards the sound of his voice. He stumbled around a tree, covered in dirt and blood. "Shit!"

I rushed towards him, catching him before he could hit the ground, but it only caused him to cry out in pain.

I lowered us to the ground, but I froze when I saw the large patch of red in the middle of his stomach, staining his shirt red with his blood. "We.. we need those medical supplies!"

I put my hand over his wound to stop the bleeding, but that only caused Murphy to cry out and squirm, trying to push my hand away. "Murphy, stop! I'm trying to stop the bleeding!" I didn't want to yell at him, especially not when he's like this, but it made him stop trying to push my hand away.

I tried to remove my jacket with just one hand, but it was difficult. Octavia helped me remove it, and she kneeled beside me, placing the jacket on Murphy's wound.

He took a shuddering breath. "Guess my luck ran out, huh?" Blood slid down the side of his mouth, and I shook my head at him.

"No, no, it hasn't. We're gonna get you back to Abby, and she's going to fix you, and you'll be fine in no time." I told him. "Where is that bag!"

Jasper ran over, dropping to his knees, opening the bag, dropping everything on the ground. "Okay, okay, here, move the jacket and lift up his shirt."

I removed the jacket and lift Murphy's shirt. His whole stomach was covered in blood, and a large wound settled over the middle, like a sword went through him. In fact, one did. "I'm sorry."

My eyes met Murphy's, and the moonlight was shining in those beautiful eyes of his. "Shut up, Murphy, you don't get to talk like you're dying."

He's not gonna die. I'm not gonna let him die. Murphy can't die.

I won't let Murphy die.

He coughed specks of blood flying out of his mouth, staining his pale skin with his blood. "I.. I'm sorry, Bell -" He was struggling to talk, tears burned at my eyes. " - for everything that I did,"

His hand found mine, and he placed his hand on top of mine. "Don't.. don't.." He was choking up. Tears were streaming down his face. "Don't leave me here."

"I won't." I promised him, lifting my hands to cup his face in my hands. "Just stay with me, okay? You have to stay with me."

"Why?" He whispered. "It's better for everyone if I just -"

"No." I interrupted him, my voice wavered slightly, my throat was burning as I just wanted to scream, but I didn't. "I love you," I don't care if my timing wasn't perfect, but he needed to know. He needed something to fight for.

"I love you, John Murphy, so stay with me." Please, please, just fight and stay with me.

__________
(Murphy's pov)
-

Bellamy loves me. Here he is, confessing his love for me, crying, while I'm dying. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.

The pain was slowly fading, but I didn't tell him. There was no point. He thought I was going to make it, but from everyone else faces.. they all knew.

"I'm gonna lift you up now," Bellamy told me. His voice was so soft, and he's never spoken to me like that before. "We're gonna get you to Abby."

I barely even felt Bellamy lifting me up into his arms. My head rested on his shoulder, my hands were over my stomach, and I could feel the blood sliding down my chin.

".. she's gonna be mad.." I whispered as Bellamy ran as carefully as he could but as fast as he could back to Arkadia.

Octavia and Lincoln were ahead of us, probably to protect Bellamy from any surprise attacks. "Abby's not gonna be mad at you. I promise you."

"She hates it.. when I get hurt.. says I should stop getting hurt... where's Raven?" I could see Bellamy clenching his jaw. "Bellamy, where is she?" They left her behind, didn't they?

"Stop! Bellamy, stop!" Bellamy stopped. His eyes were wide.

"I'm sorry, I'll be more careful -" This idiot.

"No, Bellamy.. we have to go back for Raven, you can't leave her behind." I told him, but he just kept going.

"You're more important right now. She has Joe or whatever his name is." Oh, he was jealous, I felt kinda sad that I wouldn't be able to enjoy his jealousy and tease him about it, but that was okay because after I'm gone, they'll go back for Raven and she'll be okay.

I raised my hand and touched the side of his face, caressing his cheekbone with my thumb, and I leaned forward a little to whisper in his ear.

"I love you too, Bellamy Blake..."

________
(Third pov)
-

After Murphy whispered those words, the hand on Bellamy's face fell, falling to the side, hanging limply. Bellamy froze, stopping his running, the others stopped when Bellamy did.

"Murphy.." Bellamy fell to his knees, shaking his head in denial. "No, no, Murphy, stay with me, stay with me, please, stay with me," he begged, his voice breaking as sobs wrecked through him.

"Stay with me, come on, open your eyes, please, Murphy, please.." A hand touched his shoulder, and his eyes met his sisters.

An agonizing scream rang out before Bellamy broke down sobbing, holding Murphy close to him, holding him tightly in his arms, never wanting to let him go.

"No! No! No." He sobbed out.

".. oh god." It was like a switch was flipped the second Raven's voice rang out. The sobbing stopped, and Bellamy looked at Raven, who was being helped by Joe. Her eyes were wide, guilt swarming in her eyes as tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

The grief in Bellamy's eyes suddenly turned into hot, burning anger. He gently laid Murphy down, and he stood up, stalking over to Raven. He shoved her against a tree rather roughly. His eyes were red rimmed but wild with rage. "I should kill you," the words said calmly, but they were full of venom.

"I want to kill you." He told her, the anger was suddenly gone and he moved away from her. "He was worried about you , he said we couldn't leave you behind, worried about you while he was dying!"

Tears streamed down Raven's cheeks. The guilt she was feeling was consuming her. She didn't mean what she said. She was just having a bad day, and she needed to take it out on someone, and she chose Murphy because he was so easy to yell at. He took it, and he took all her insults, and now he's dead. He died thinking she didn't care about him, but she did, and she would regret this day for the rest of her life.

"You should be the one who's dead," the words. They were similar to the ones she said to Murphy the day Finn died. "Not Murphy, you."

All the fight in Bellamy left as he went over to Murphy, crouching down to pick him up on his arms again, he made sure his head didn't hung nor did his arms he wanted to make him comfortable as possible.

He leaned his head against Murphy's, taking a deep breath.

"I'm taking you home, Murph."

☆
3475 words!

I think this is the longest I've written in a while.

Also sorry that Raven was a bitch in this, I love her, and I love her friendship with Murphy in the later seasons.

Thoughts?