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Chapter Text

It was a white hall with brown rim reminiscent of the most clinics, they were told to sit there in a row nearly like they were in back in school. the line was also nearly the same, first was Anna, second was Lada, third was Nataliya fourth was Rosalind, and last was Sonya the only difference would be Nataliya would not be there. It was nearly surreal they escaped their school only to end up being remembered of that time -. A cracking sound came from the speakers as a deep and raspy voice come through it.

“Anna Morozova please go to the examination room.” She stood up, hands a little shaky and yet with a few steps she disappeared behind the nice modern door or nice is relative more a common door you would see at any doctors. “What do you think they will be testing?” Lada’s chime like voice spoke up. “Probably something psychological as the Cautus girl took all our measurements and did the general check-up” Nataliya’s spoke still with her strong regal Ursan. Rosalind however seemed to be concerned by something else “Did you hear that voice? He sounds awful!” “Here is our Rosa always focuses on the important-."

before Sonya could finish her sarcastic remark Anna came out from the door; she had a thick stack of papers with her she looked about the same still somewhat in thought. “Lada lipkiy please enter the examination room.” Lada jumped a bit but quickly moved behind the door. “How was it?” Nataliya followed up on the question proposed earlier. “I can’t really tell; I never had a psychological assessment. But it felt weird-.” “What do you mean by weird?” Rosalind quickly injected. “It just feels weird, like a scene from the book The Hearing. It is hard to describe, for example the doctor was wearing some weird protective gear and overall seemed incredibly intimidating and immediately started off as if he knew everything about us already, yet he was kind and accommodating it was completely perplexing. On the other side the tests also seemed weird in one he would just play sounds in others I needed to read something out laud, but I simply don’t know what a regular one would look like, but he said we will be all called in together later to discuss Somethings.”

A pause seemingly none wanted to ask anything anymore and knowing they would all be sent in together helped eased their anxiety. And yet Lada was already in there for one hour when suddenly the Cautus girl ran by them with a plate of food in hand and after a second came out again. “Hey, what is going on in there?” Sonya called out her rougher voice hounding after the brunette Rabbit girl. “Sorry really but I can’t disclose that.” she quickly slinked away again. and after another 30 minutes Lada came out again with the same stack of paper as Anna.

“You were a while in there what happened?” “Nothing much we went through questions and listened to some sounds and then I got a little hungry then he said I could take a break but needed to stay inside and that’s about it.” Lada’s eyes look up nearly like she was looking for anything else that had happened inside her mind, but nothing came up and before she could answer.
“Nataliya Andreyevna Rostova please enter the examination room.” Now it has gotten irritating. Nataliya quickly stood up and fixed her uniform as if anyone would care here, and with a short breather Infront of the door and went in. “Do you think it will take as long as Lada?” Rosalind asked blankly into the group “I don’t know” Anna wanted to cut the questioning short as she seemed to have engrossed herself in hyper analysing every document she has received. “Hey, Lada, how is he?” now Sonya took to the asking. “He was really nice like the old teachers in our school, but he doesn’t talk down or so I think. He also gives you time for everything never rushing answers. But I think that’s it.” Lada’s answers.

Another 30 minutes pass when suddenly the Cautus came back caring boxes of some kind, she stopped before them and gave each one of the large boxes. “Sorry for the inspection taking so long, so I have brought you some food from the med bay cafeteria please enjoy.” She walked past them again.
“Well, she sure seems busy.” “Yeah, but there aren’t even that many patients here” Lada and Rosalind chatted away. Sitting and chatting nothing more happened they couldn’t hear anything coming from the room as it was probably soundproof, so they just wait nothing more nothing less.

After nearly 3 hours Nataliya stepped out, but she didn’t look the same, she was messier. No, she was an utter mess. her already messy hair looked like it had been yanked and torn at, her uniform was unbuttoned and her stockings had rips in them, her eyes where glaze od over resembling some dead fish. “Natliya? What happened to you!” Sonya screeched jumping to her feet and stared at the other Ursus girl rage and panic filled sonyas mind, Nataliya just answered while avoiding her gaze: “Nothing important just a normal psychological evaluation.” She moved past them as she stared at the thick block of paper the doctor had given her all the while refitting her uniform. “Natali, you tell me im-!” before she could finish that same ping was heard afterwards the same announcement played again “Rosalind Tatianovna Larina please enter the examination room.” Rosalind jumped up and with large smile went to the door. “Rosa! Wait a minute I am coming with you-!” but before she could step in Rosalind was already gone. “damit! Well then Natali speak up I want to hear what happened in there!” “Really Sonya nothing else important happened.” Nataliya looked to the side her blue and red eyes now looking straight at the brunette her face now sporting a small smile. “I mean what I meant earlier nothing really happened he just tested how I was doing mentally and what medication I could take.” “Medication? But he said nothing about medication with me?” Lada cut in being quite worried. Nataliya looked like she was caught off guard by that comment. “He also said nothing about medication when he talked with me.” Anna also commented. “It was nothing big, it was just some of my test values where a little low so he said I could take some to help in my further development.” “What where these values then?”

Sonya didn’t let go this was utterly bizarre what had happened in there? “I don’t want to talk about it really.” Sonya clicked with her tongue she knew something was up. "what happened in there! and anwser me imidiatly." Rosa was done fixing her uniform and faced the young grizzly again. "Or what? will the general make me talk?" zima stepped forward and looked up at the Noble woman. "you know when he did something to you and you keep it a secret, it could fuck us all over!" "Zima! I said he did nothing! so back off!" Nataliya screeched right into zimas face who as a response simply sat down. I know something happend in there Natali.
When out came Rosalind having the smallest stack of paper and was only inside for less than 30 minutes looking exactly the same as before.

“Sonya Alexandrowna please enter the examination room.” So, it was her turn now. She stepped in, in front of her was a small room with a desk nothing else much was in it. He sat on the other side of that desk, in front of him a computer and some instruments or something. He was described perfectly by Anna, a strange, masked individual dressed in black and blue with the Rhodes Island logo plastered all over his strange coat. When she sat down, she felt like being drowned by the scent of violets. “Good evening, ms Alexandrowna we will now conduct a few tests to see how you reacting to certain stimuli, just sign this here and we will begin.” Strained and raspy his voice truly was something else, but she quickly signed the document.

“Hey before we start can you answer a question?” “Hmm oh well off-course.” “What have you done to Nataliya?” from the movement of his head she could tell he was taken aback but quickly gave an answer. “Just the same as I will do with you and many other patients a simple trigger test in combination with a few normal tets to see your mental well being. Where we will try and evaluate how the trauma from Peterheim affects you” clearcut and professional nearly distant and cold, sounds like a doctor and yet the sight of Rosa was still in her mind.

“I will be clear if you just so much as graze me or any of the other girls you’re dead.” He seemed surprised yet didn’t flinch or show it in any other way. “I … I don’t really know what to say, but if you are uncomfortable doing the examination I can immediately get another doctor.” His body language was muted yet he felt maybe a little like Anna, no more like Natliya, maybe he realised that as well and couldn’t control himself. “No, it’s ok.” “Sorry but I must insist if you do not feel safe with me doing the examination then you will be immediately attributed to another doctor.” “I said I am fine!” Maybe she was wrong, argh it aggravates her that she couldn't read him.

Though After that the test started with some benign questions most school related some genral aout her family about their time before Peterheim and so on. Later he started playing some sounds some school related some not, when the sound of an explosion sends a shiver down her spine her throat started to contract and she felt like she could not breath, her heart felt like stopping when small whispers enter her ear “no stop it.” she muttered under her breath as she covered her ears with her hands. When suddenly that smell of violets shook her out of it. “Should we take a small break and let you rest a little?” he spoke slight concern plastering it. “No, I want to get it over with.” “Remember we have plenty of time you don’t need to push yourself to do anything, and these tests were made to specifically scan for such reactions so please.” “I said I don’t need it.” She growled at him ignoring his concern forcing him to continue testing.

And so, he did. Next, he gave her some tools to hold, simple there was no reaction. Afterwards he poured liquids into containers all different colours and textures when suddenly he poured out a red liquid it moved slowly nearly like honey, into the beaker he had prepared, and then she heard it a sting in her ear and then a scream “You did it!” as the rotten liquid hardened in to a brownish spec “you did it!” “Shut it.” she still heard it. Fuck! She still had it in her ear. Fuck! beside her she saw herself school unform covered in the same rotten specs. “You did it, didn’t you? Killed them all these rotten pigs!” Shut it! she grabbed at the beaker hopping to be able to throw it at her when a firm grip around her shoulder stopped her, she shook her head, when that sma digusting and coarse voice came from behind her, “breath calmly and steadily try to remember where you are. Sights, smells and feelings help with it.” She tried to slow her breathing trying to mimic his, while she was surrounded by the smell of violets and soon after she had completed her test.
They all stood inside his office where even here the smell of violets did not subside. He sat behind a simple desk still wearing that weird mask. On the desk were five boxes with each a name written on the side. On the other side of the table right before the computer where some folders. He started to talk most of its unimportant embellishments and niceties. “When it comes to your place in Rhodes Island it was deemed that you become operators meaning you will one day be deployed to either fight in missions, be bodyguards or safe civilians. For that we have given you a training plan. Group training will be on every second day of the week. However, you will also be asked to work in some facilities across the landship, for that we have also prepared some internships.”

“I just wanted to ask why we would need to become operators?” Anna asked. “Well it’s complicated but you agreed to it when you proposed the idea of the USSG and stated that you reject the official Minor reschooling act. Which gives us two options to let you stay on the landship one is becoming an operator the other is to be here for a medical treatment. The second only applies to those with strong physical pain or those that do not recive any psychological treatment from their home country, for the second however we would need to be able to contact not just you parents but also Chernobog which officaly was lost meaning only the first option was available.” Anna lowered her hand apparently content with that answer.

“Everything to do with becoming an operator will be done tomorrow. Now in these boxes are all the things you need to stay connected with the rest of the landship and all outside countries the landship may pass through. Meaning passports, all legal papers, letters of admission, working visas, travel visas and so on they are all however signed under the Rhodes Island company meaning you are now pseudo citizens of the landship think of it similar to Rim billiton. Also included are phones and other such electronic tools as in the last meeting it was decided to give operators a larger assortment of free time activities to engage with.”

He kept on blabbering on and on. “To the living situations three of you will dorm on the second floor Nataliya Rostova you will dorm on the third floor, taking the room next to Sonya Alexándrowna. Amiya will take you two too your rooms the others will go with Warfarin. So now, I welcome you from today on you will be official members of Rhodes Island.”
And with that the Cautus girl returned and took them to their dorms or more accurately she took Nataliya and Sonya to their dorms. It was a near straight walk and still somewhat connected to the med bay. Sonya glanced around the doors close to her, Gavial, warfarin, hibiscus, Amiya, and some more but they walked past them to fast for them to be readable. Specter, Whislash, Nightmare, Eyjafjalla these doors and the ones after them all had a red dot on them. And then they stood in front of one of these doors the plate was still blank.

“Here we have reached our destination just slide the id card you were given, and it will unlock. If you have any issue my office and dorm is just down the hallway or you just were in the doctor’s office, I hope you will come to see Rhodes as your new home.” Nataliya meekly waved at her while Sonya just watched on.

Nataliya then turned to face Sonya and gave her a polite smile and wave before excusing herself and disappearing behind her door. Sonya opened the folder and I used the id card inside to open the door. Cream walls with brown basses on wooden floor tiles nothing outstanding but quite spacious and yet something was off. The floor felt strange. She pressed a little hard on the floor, the wooden tiles slowly went with her foot, a rubbered floor just like what can be found in most school gyms. Just as a test she walked over and pressed down on the wall it didn’t give at all and yet she couldn't change this feeling that he has decided I’m Insane, that thought ran through her head as she threw the box and the papers on a table even its edges were rounded. Sitting down at the foot of the bed, her eyes trailed to the side seeing a red button just over the bed side table a small sign under it. *use when in distress* this must be a joke.

Chapter Text

She couldn’t stand it, that smell of violets stinks to hell. They stood in line like before, while he still sat in his little buro chair and nothing interesting happens.

When he started calling their names “Anna, codename Istina. Lada, codename Gummy. Nataliya, codename Rosa. Rosalind, codename Leto. Sonya codename Zima. These will be the names you now go by; these are codenames given to every operator and are used even when not on the battlefield.”

They already knew that they send these names off yesterday and in that very document it already stood there for what they are going to be used for. Words still flood out from behind his mask. Only going over the papers he gave us and explaining what we can and can’t do.

though one part was interesting to her, they heard near instantly after their examination that he was not just any doctor, but a big wig in this company, but they didn’t tell her he was the Leading commander it was hard to believe a doctor would be a commander, though to some her nickname *зима полководе* also doesn’t seem to fit her.

Her trail of thought was suddenly broken when the door behind them flew open and passed them walked a short and purple haired Sarkaz with large Black horns. “Tjena, Doctor, oh um sorry for interrupting” The woman quickly slinked to the side of the doctor and took a few papers from the stack on his table. though Sonya couldn’t focus on that as her eyes were fixated on the Sarkaz, but not on her jagged scaled tail nor her bright maroon eyes sat in a soft and round face no she couldn’t tear her eyes from the chest of the sarkaz before her. She was never really interested in something like that but seeing the slight movement hidden by some kind of hosiery it all accented by her short stature had her mind fixated. But who would dress like that out of their own?

As if, she could already see who wants her to dress like that. “No problem, I was just rapping up anyways.” Just seeing that women next to that man nearly made her gag. The Sarkaz stepped to the side and sat down at the seating area and started to work. When small cough brough them back to his attention. “After addressing all these things, I believe that the rest can be handled by yourselves. I will see you around on the ship.”

Zima looked on as some of her classmates already stated leaving. “Hey So- I mean Zima don’t you wanna go?” Leto asked. “Yeah, wait a minute. Hey Doc, what is she doing?” Zima’s voice called out, the Woman mentioned turned around facing the young Ursian. “I am Typhon, and I am assistant of the doctor” her voice had a youth full sound to it but was still mature as a thick accent of a language zima only heard when some poor shmuck was executed. “Да though can I ask you something, how did you get this position?" The girl stared down the other women, she had an oddly unsaying face though a little bit of confusion could be seen. “I.. Hur förklarar jag detta. While in Sa-.” “I am sorry Zima, but I cannot disclose why typhon is working as my assistant nor why she is on the Landship.”

He interrupted her. Pride filled every centimetre of Zima she knew it, so she let it sound out “What favour did you give him huh, or did he do the same thing he did to Rosa to you, but you made some fuss and now you get a pretty paycheck. So, what is it?” “What?” “Common Leto you saw how Rosa looked after she came out of the examination room, while being in there for hours.” Leto grabbed her shoulder. Pulling her back a little. “Sonya you can’t say that they saved us without charge, and they even let us stay here indefinitely.” “Oh, why would some passing by company save some random assortment of girls hm? Maybe they will get their money’s worth from us one way or another, but this извращенец clearly is more interested that we pay in our bodies! I mean look at her what can she provide with a chest larger than her own head while being shorter than Lada while wearing that?”

Her voice was agitated, and yet that pride didn’t leave her, she knew from the start that there was something wrong. Her eyes met his black visor he was still looking at papers, while his little *assistant* was still looking at her, her entire visage screamed that she was shocked by what she heard. “Sonya! You’re overstepping a line here.” “You think so! then how do you explain what happened to Natali.” “You were also completely ragged when you came out!”

It was like a Damm that broke, and reality flooded over her. “Rosa. It… it isn’t the same.” She tried to retrieve her pride and yet she already knew that Leto was right she must have appeared and sounded like Nataliya. No, it didn’t change anything he is still untrustworthy but before she said anything it stung. She was hit. “It hurts to say things like that.” Her eyes met with those of the sarkaz again, she was clearly upset.

Silence filled the room, no one tried to disavow her anymore. when her eyes met that blank black visor he had stood up but she couldn’t tell if he was looking at her or the sarkaz. “Ro... Rosa I’m going.” The door slammed shut behind her as the sound of Leto’s apology still rang in her ear. Fuck! She knew she was going too far. She knew she was right, there is still something off. A soft breath left her lips she was just worried, worried and nervous. “Ah Zima, Zima wait!” Leto had apparently caught up with her, nearly falling over her own feet. Though she didn’t follow up on this discussion just telling her that the Doctor wasn’t angry at her and that she needed to watch what she was saying.

Morning in the landship was special, some people were up as early as 4 in the morning some others as late as 10 which wasn’t helped by the med bay lacking windows and the hallway lights never stopping. She waited a bit for Nataliya to come and start walking to the cafeteria. Her eyes slowly move over the phone they were given, it had all the functions a phone needs, though it was interesting that it was openly disclosed that any message send through P.R.T.S is being recorded. There were also a lot of pre-installed apps on it most for things connected to the going-ons of the landship.

She scrolled through random apps until Rosa opened the door. “Good morning, Zima.” She greeted, already changing to Victorian, hers was way less strained by the Ursan accent like Zima’s own. “Yeah, morning to you too, let’s go I want to eat something before I need to summit my application.” “Ah you start so early. I wanted to wait a little before starting.” It was awfully silent though it made sense it was just about 7 in the morning. “Wait for what? the earlier you start the more you gain.” “Well, it’s just because of the recommendation from the doctor.” That man again she didn’t even want to hear it. “what was the recommendation?” “Just to wait after my first few appointments are finished and I had started my therapy.” “Да.”She tried to ignore the topic though it seems to be redundant as they have reached the cafeteria.

It was quite large, and it followed the same theme everything else on the med bay had. The tables and chairs were placed in rows around the kitchen which was placed in the middle of the room. The menu and what you could order was displayed on a display screen next to the order counter. it was quite the fancy assortment, everything was here what one could wish for breakfast, though there was a strong bias towards Columbian food.

“Rosa, do you already know what you are going to take?” the taller white-haired girl just stood there mesmerized by some of the dishes. “Ha, never seen any peasant food now?” Rosa’s trance was broken when she heard Zima’s voice. “Zima how can you not be surprised; I have never seen some of these things in Ursus only in some movies.” She moved forward to and used tonsils to grab quite a lot, her plate quickly filling with a little bit of everything. Zima just followed her making more active choices and yet that small bit of happiness flared off on her and even made Zima smile.

Sitting opposite one another, Rosa seemingly had overwhelmed herself with choice, her eyes glinting a little. They had already started eating when a bell-like voice sounded around them. “Can I sit here?” Zima knew that voice! She nearly spat out her food barely being able to contain it. “Ah – w… well yes.” Like a soldier she immediately stood, all the while her face heated up giving rise to a slight blush. from the corner of her eye, she could see how Rosa had her hand in front of her mouth containing her laughter. “Ah well okey.” Amiya answered meekly. Zima quickly sat down slamming her hands on the table, while her face showed a combination of anger and embarrassment.

Rosa still kept her hand over her mouth and muttered “ты в порядке” “заткнись, сука” Zima growled back. “If it bothers you, I can also sit somewhere else.” “No not at all Zima is just stressed is all.” Rosa answered the Cautus girl. “Alright, I heard how hard this was for you. So I can understand why you might be stressed” you don’t know anything about us. “Oh, and operator Zima I just wanted to talk to you about something.” Zima felt her gut churn as she simply remembered what happened yesterday. “Well, it seems the doctor had forgotten to give you the time for your appointments, so I have sent them over to you. I already wanted to tell you that yesterday, but the doctor said you were stressed so – hm are you alright?” the innocent Cautus moved her hand over to Zima who looked on in sheer and utter shook. She should go to the same appointments as Natali? Pah this was a joke.

Zima straightened her back letting her hand slip down her back. “Yeah, I am alright. So, what are the appointments about?” “I cannot really talk about that here but all the info you need was send with the message.” She knew it, fuck, it will only get worse anyways so why not go? “Да but you seem as young as us, what gives you the authority to handle this.” “Oh, I am the assistant of the head doctor but I am also am the public executive for Rhodes island.” “Ha, I thought that, that purple devil was the doctors сука.”

Shit, that came off wrong. But the little bunny just giggled. Something crawled up in Zima and she couldn’t shake that feeling her cheeks felt hotter again, why? “Ha, we here have more than one head doctor or I still call miss kal’sit head doctor.” “Ah the ceo was the previous head doctor.” Rosa chimed in. “Mhm though I was also the assistant for the Doctor for quite some time until that little Sarkaz whe- I mean miss Typhon needed to stay here permanently.” She couldn’t tell if Amiya was trying to joke with her or she was actually jealous or even angry at her coworker, but Zima liked it either way.

“My name is Amiya I know you heard my name already, but it’s just because we were not introduced formally before.” “Ah yeah sorry my name is Sonya, and that sack of noble meat is Nataliya.” “Then nice to meet you two.” She first stretched over the table and shook the hand of Nataliya, she then turned to the side, and zima was at a loss for words. It was the same feeling with that other girl typhon, what was that? why was she like that to girls?

No, no, no Amiya was just a really pretty girl yes and with typhon there was nowhere else to look at that must be it. Like a pistol her hand shot fourth vigorously shaking the poor cautuses hand. The contact was broken when Rosa suddenly coughed. “Ah sorry to interrupt but I need to go to the engineering department and get something. So sadly, I must leave you two.” It was a suden realisation that rosa had long since finished her food even amiyas was nearly done. “So, it’s only use two now.” “ahm yeah.” Zima doesn’t know why she seems to like her more than the others but hey at least there would be someone she likes.

Chapter Text

Zima still couldn’t really settle down on the landship, she didn’t like the sound it made when moving nor did she like the fact that they were now already passing over the border to Kazimierz and her parents still have not contacted her. Their escape from Peterheim and subsequent survival became a giant news headline she couldn’t imagine her parents not reading it in the papers. They haven’t contacted the company. None of their parents have. Only miss Larina, leto’s mother was found and she was also here on the ship. It was the first thing Leto did after becoming an operator was visit her mother, she was the only parent, from them, that they even have even found. She missed them quite a bit but what would she even do if she finds them return to her live before Peterheim? Or… or… were they even still alive? They lived close to Chernobog and still haven’t called, and she was told they are not responding to any message and couldn’t be found. The thought of sleep and rest was quickly replaced by dark foreboding feeling.

She put the sheets over her head hoping to think of something else, yet she could only think of the cold days on the streets of Chernobog hard concrete and sometimes roof tiling muddy and blood covered rags where their blankets back then she also couldn’t rest, someone always needed to keep watch. Now there was a warm bed and a with a soft blanket, but she still couldn’t tell if they were safe. Still, she couldn’t rest. With one quick movement Zima swung herself out of her bed and started to walk through the room, making her way to her phone and tore it away from the charger. A reminder was already displayed on the display *first appointment today* so it was already the next day, huh. She swiped up and tried to navigate to any app which could play music when suddenly a loud commotion was heard from the hall.

It was like an Earthquake, the floor trembling as she heard several feet hit the ground and rush around her room. Her heart was caught in her throat, she knew that sound the walls boil and melt around her revealing the school. Breath! Breath, she forgot to breath. The shaking in her legs, nearly braking under her own weight. An ear-piercing Wail, guttural and full of pain silenced the stepping around it. Loud and clear shouts blear instructions in the background. The door! she needs to get out from this place! Imagined cold winds hit her, the blizzard from that massacre blow over her mind, everything was consumed by her hallucinations, eaten by the dammed school. Franticly she slammed her body against the door, like a crazed beast Zima clawed at the door trying to open it. She couldn’t concentrate she needed to go! Please let me through! Her nails couldn’t withstand the pressure and tor right off searing in many small shards as the door opened. Her eyes quickly darted around hopping so see something different than that dammed school when her yes saw the cause of the commotion.

A young caprine with brownish hair waving down the side of her moonlike face, framed by two ivory horns both stained by trickles of blood, while black crystals laid through it looking almost similar to glitter. Her face distorted in pain; naturally soft features obscured, her mouth a gape as a pained wail escaped it. More blood was running out from her ears similarly stained by the same glitter, like black crystals as the light danced of both surfaces. The girl was frail and thin, yet she clung to the Doctor with all her might, her face turned towards his shoulder as he knelt on one knee. Delicate and gentle he stroked her hair and pressed her deeper into the crutch of his neck with one hand while the other held her tight his digits sinking into her clothes. Her heart raced faster. Zima immediately crawled backwards, covering her bleeding fingers. She knew that blood. “It has covered our hands the blood of these rotten pigs”. No, please stop, go away. Her eyes where tricking her as the floor was being covered in charred, and slashed corpses. More footsteps ringed in her head when another doctor came running, a feline woman covered in safety gear who crouched down to insert some needle. Afterwards the wailing took only minutes to fully subside, and the now unconscious girl was quickly caried away by the Doctor still trying to be as gentle as possible.

“Miss please show me your hand.” The female doctor now stood in front of her, eyes glimmering with an emerald shine while white hair came past the protective mask. Icy winds broke as the school slowly crumbled, eyes realizing she what was real. Zima slowly held her hand out; it still shaking profusely. the woman calmly grabbed Zima’s hand and moved it around looking at it intently. A sigh escaped her. “There is no clear sign that Originium granules entered, but please come with me we need to bandage your fingers and make an angiography.” Zima couldn’t say anything, her breath still to jagged and uncontrolled. Her cold face suddenly changed to more concerned or panicked expression. “Shh, calm down nothing happened just a small emergency.” The woman kept her distance but tried to sound more understanding and softer. “Gods am I bad at this…” the doctor muttered under her breath. But the girl couldn’t respond her body felt numb. “Just, *sigh* follow me please.”

Kal’tist took the hand of the girl and practically dragged her along until the white walls were changing to bluish ones as a sign read Surgical analysis. The woman tried to quickly walk with the girl. The two entered an empty examination room, clean and sterile with a large machine in the middle of it, before it was a bed. “Please lay down.” The lynx spoke. She was incredible cold and distant; the lab coat and protective gear didn’t help much. A knot was still inside her throat, and she was still lightheaded, thought the feline didn’t care she simply moved on quickly readying the machine. There was not much for her to prepare the arts engravings on modern machines can radiate the correct electromagnetic field and can even detect originium contamination. A light clicking filled the ears now. “Try to calm down, nothing will hurt.” The Women attempted to soothe the bear again. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the clicking just anything other than reality. It felt like she was falling into the bed her body feeling more and more unresponsive when she smelled it, violets.

“How is she?” the feline asked. “The reaction has died down, though I would still recommend putting her on Analgesics for the time being, more pressing is that we need to increase her dosage.” From her lying position, she couldn’t tell how the female doctor reacted. “How is her hearing.” “We can’t tell at the moment. The Mineral deposits only formed on the outer edge of the ear canal, - I hope that her hearing is not worsening.” Zima heard a hissing before the feline kept talking. “You are far too involved with your patient.” “As if you could tell me anything about that.” Ah pause where none of the two seemed to want to argue “*sigh* well, should we put her on the new formular?” “I would say so, yes.” “Good, then you are dismissed go and get some rest I will finish this one.” “Kal, I ca …*sigh* No … thank you I’ll see you tomorrow.” “And before you go, a doctor should never grow too close to their patients it clouds their judgement.” Nothing only the already feint smell of violets fading as the Doctor left. She kept lying there while the clicking continued, her mind however always went towards that illness, she knew they told her that they were lucky that they weren’t infected and she knew Larina wasn’t as lucky and apparently not many were, the fucks of Chernobog bled the same blood and always screeched something about *Отплатите им за то, что они с нами сделали!* The sounds and screams were like black tar on her mind. The people with that illness, they … they, are … abhorrent. Yes, abhorrent that is what she was told and yet she didn’t want to buy it even after what happened to her, she didn’t want to believe what some royalist spouts out of their rotten mouth.

Fuck why was it so hard to tell herself that? She hated these people she knows some of them are good no most of them where, yet nothing will ever change what they have done to her. But what would she do when she became one of them? Her heart raced again. they would leave her, wouldn’t they. No, they were her friends they wouldn’t leave right? But what if they think like her? The clicking continued, with an unknown end. Wasn’t it faster in her first examination? A cold shiver ran down her skin, while her throat felt like it was punctured by thousands of needles. Another thought breached her mind, nearly causing the girl to flinch. What about my Parents? She felt her lower lip quiver. My parents. Their images filling her mind. The warm embrace when she came home from school. The warm cooking of her мамаша the moments of pride with her папаша when she could beat him in some board game. She would lose that, would she? Could they love her if she was infected? Would they take her back home? She was giving her all to not cry, to not crumble and break. Do they even care? They haven’t even called yet. Fuck don’t cry, don’t cry. She started to grit her teeth. Do even care? Like a stake through her mind. No, I don’t … I … I. When a loud ringing was heard. Her entire body shook as even through her gritted teeth sobbing was heard.

Kal’tsit didn’t bother to be soothing anymore and just looked at the results. Though slight worry still pestered her voice “Please stop crying everything is alright you are not infected.” Zima tried choking back her tears and to sit up. Sluggish and stunted movements at least let her sit on the edge of the bed. She tried to convince her mind to be happy to tell it anything else. She failed her mind still fogged up why, why couldn’t she suck it up why was she so afraid. Through her blurred vision she could only see how the feline doctor talked to someone over her phone. Her tears kept trailing down her face. Her hands pressed down on her face, trying to hide her own pain, to deal with it on her own. Small footsteps slowly tip toed closer to her. Blurry everything was still blurry she couldn’t make out the person that was coming closer. With panicked movement she started rubbing her eyes. And as she looked the other person, she saw her own dishevelled face mirrored by frosty blue lenses. The girl made sure the other knew she was there before she was coming closer. The small bunny reached out to the bear, seeing how she would react to the closeness and when Zima didn’t do anything the bunny slowly embraced the sitting bear. “I *sob* I d … don’t.” With all her might, Zima fought to say that she didn’t need her help that she can go and do something more worth a while than helping someone baby like her. Though the wail that escaped her mouth, her arms that immediately clung to the bunny, her head burying itself in her chest, she needed it even if just for tonight. “Sonya. It’s alright I am here.” Nothing only small sobs fill the room as Amiya tried to calm her pained colleague. The strong voice of Zima only came out in stutters, her mind failing to say something in Victorian yet trying her best just to know the other would understand her. “I … *Sob* … I am… so afraid.” The arms around Zima’s tighten their hold. “Mhm, I know, that’s why I am here, to keep you here save and sound.” A small pause waiting maybe for a reaction from Zima, yet nothing came. “And it's not just me everyone here tries their best to be there for each other.” the sobbing slowed down, when a violent cry erupted from her. “I don’t know!” An affirmative hum came from Amiya a small admission that she understood what Zima felt. How many where before her, how many had it equally as bad as her. “If you don’t know that’s not bad, you still have your friends, don’t you, and I am also there just like today.” Zima’s grip loosened and the sobbing slowly went quiet.

“I … I am sorry.” a hushed voice slowly slipped from the Ursus girl. “it’s alright you don’t need to apologize to me.” It was such a casual sentence, but it was the first time after such a long time that someone had been so … … Kind? No sweet, sweet matched her more. Her still rigid body now slumped into the embrace finally being able to calm down fully. “Thank you.” tired and sluggish she could say nothing more than that. “No need to thank me either, as said I’ll be there when you need me.” Be there when you need me. They said that to each other back then. When it was a cold night, and they had no other choice than to huddle up to each other to not die of hyperthermia. One day gummy joked around where and beside who it would be best to sleep to. It was like so many others a cold and frigid night, the bright yellow lights of the building top they were hiding on top of burned itself into their retinas. The joke was in all honesty quite stale and dumb. She just played offended that she couldn’t sleep next to Rosa. The comically overplayed cry “But she is the softest!” and “But Rosalind is not Marshmallow shaped like Nataliya!” will forever stain the depths of their minds. It always brought a smile to her face how she remembers how Rosa went with the joke and played of her body shape before just trapping the *poor* girl in a bear hug and how infectious the laughter felt, how quickly they joined in hunging and rolling around nearly play fightitng a bit, simply forgetting it all. It all ending in the promise to always be there when we need each other.

Soft breath came out from her mouth. The warmth, the rhythmic beat of the other persons heartbeat, the steady breathing just let her feel home. Her grip on the bunny slowly loosened, as they parted. “Sonya, are you feeling better? it wouldn’t be a bother for me to stay here with you.” “It’s – it’s alright. I think I’m okey.” She rubbed her face with open palms trying to rub of her tiredness. And with one movement she was of the hospital bed. “I … will go to my room.” She still had some trouble talking and she was still shaking slightly. Amiya quickly stood at her side still not sure if the other had fully recovered. “Are you sure you want to go to your room alone? If you want, I could get the others -.” Before she could even finish her sentence Zima interrupted her. “No - just no please don’t. n…never tell them.” her voice suddenly turned wispy and the same paleness from before came back for just a second. They should not seem me like this. “Ah – okey, but at least I should go with you.” That weird warmth filled her again sending another shake down her body, but she just couldn’t concentrate so she just nodded earning her a kind smile from the bunny.

The way back was uneventful everything in the halls was cleaned already or already was wrong since she was admitted to the angiography more than five hours had passed. Small tug at her shoulder took her attention back to her companion. “Well Zima, I just wanted to tell you that the training had been moved by one day.” The young doctor didn’t need to say why she understood already, in 1 hour she would need to stand in front of some new instructor she didn’t know and by how tired and slightly nervous she felt she couldn’t guarantee anything. “Yeah thanks, I am sorry gain to have caused you so much trouble.” A sigh, followed by a soft nod. Why did she look a little disappointed? “Ah yes before I forget, miss Kal’sit has send you a message when you are well rested and have calmed down, please read it, she told me it was quite important.” A weird awkward silence followed, her eyes going over the girl in front of her again, one question popped up in her mind, how much does she know me? “Ähm Zima?” “Ah yes um goodbye Amiya.” Ah shit too abrupt again. “No! I didn’t mean it like that.” The other girl giggled before answering “I know how you meant it so don’t worry. Then rest up goodbye.” And just like in their first psychic evaluation she hoped away at surprising speed. The Door slammed shut. Her eyes hovered over it for a minute, looking at the deep scatch marks she has left on it. Now it had scars like the rest of us. She just ignored the scaters bits of her own nails on the floor and just flopped into her bed the tiredness now reaching her. The bed was still soft but the cold fabric on her skin felt far more uncomfortable now after what happened today. But she felt again like she was falling down while trying to ignore all other thoughts and just rest at least for today. The message that feline send can wait till tomorrow.