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He didn't know how it even happened. One moment he and his only hyung were walking out of the company building together towards the dorms. The next, his only hyung laid on the road a few feet ahead of him, screaming in agony as he raced to call emergency services.
At the hospital he sat motionless as one of their personal managers squatted in front of him, trying to get words out of him.
"Minho-ssi, what happened? How did this happen?" The manager, Daehyun, placed a hand on Minho's shoulder.
Minho just stared at the manager, seemingly emotionless. However Daehyun knew that really, the second oldest member was disassociating, trying to not show his emotions.
"Minho-ssi, I know this is hard but I need to know what happened so I can tell the group and the company." Daehyun got up to kneel in front of Minho.
Minho continued to stare, lost in the whirlwind in his mind. Answer him, Minho. He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again. He tried to speak but it came out as nothing but a little screech. He cleared his throat before trying again.
"W-we were crossing the street and he was walking a bit slower than me and we didn't see the car speeding towards us. It just managed to miss me but C-Channie hyung.." Minho sucked in his breath.
"Breathe. Listen, I'll take you back to the dorm-"
"No! I need to see hyung first!" Minho cut off Daehyun.
Daehyun gave a sad smile. "Okay. We can do that."
Minho just nodded in response.
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About twenty minutes later, a doctor finally came out.
"Lee Minho, correct?" The doctor asked.
"Yes sir. How is he? Is he okay?" Minho stood up from his chair.
"Here's the thing." The doctor sighed sharply. "He's alive, however, he's in a coma. At the moment, there's no telling when he'll wake up. We'll be monitoring him until he shows signs of waking up. As for injuries, he has three fractured ribs. He has many brusies and cuts but nothing too major."
Minho just stared blankly. "Can I see him?"
"Of course. Follow me." The doctor turned around and walked down the hallway, guiding Minho and Daehyun to Chan's room. "Please be mindful of his injuries."
"Thank you doctor." Minho slightly bowed before entering the room.
He took a seat next to the hospital bed and placed his hand in Chan's. He sucked in his breath. "Hyung..." His voice wavered. "You told me when we filmed Two Kids Room that I should lead when you aren't there." He paused. "I'll take care of the kids I promise. I need you to promise that you aren't going to leave us Channie. We can't live without you.." He held Chan's hand up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles. "Get better, hyung. I promise to be strong and take care of the kids. I promise to keep them safe."
He stared at Chan, lying cold and pale in the hospital bed. He squeezed Chan’s hand as he let a few tears slip down his cheeks. Please, hyung, I can’t lose you.
Minho got up from the chair after a few moments of silence to compose himself before exiting the room and went to Daehyun who was standing outside across from the door.
"We can go back to the dorm now. I need to see the kids." Minho said sternly.
Daehyun nodded and guided Minho to the awaiting car. It was really a miracle how there were absolutely no fans around. The short ride back to the dorms was nerve wracking. How would I be able to take care of the group? How would I even fulfill my promise? The kids would be so broken. Would I even be able to comfort them? His thoughts continued to spiral, he was so caught up in the fear and worry.
He was jolted out of his thoughts when Daehyun tapped his shoulder, signifying that they had arrived at the dorm.
"Relax. I'll tell them what happened." Daehyun said as they got out of the car.
Minho just nodded. The two entered the dorm to see Felix, Hyunjin, and Jisung playing video games on the couch. The other three were in the kitchen snacking on apple slices. Jisung looked up at the presence of Minho and their manager.
Jisung jumped off the couch. "Min! I missed you!" He wrapped Minho in his arms.
"I missed you too jagi." Minho said sadly as he hugged Jisung back.
"You okay? Where's Channie hyung?" Jisung stepped back to look at Minho.
Minho turned to Daehyun who nodded. "Can everyone come here to the couch? I must tell you boys something."
Seungmin, Jeongin, and Changbin joined the others at the couch. Minho shifted awkwardly as Jisung stared at him.
"Sit down Sungie." Minho looked at the couch.
"Min what's going on?" Jisung asked worriedly but sat on the end of the couch anyway.
Daehyun began speaking. "As you can see, Bang Chan isn't here right now. I'm not going to sugar coat this." He sighed. "When he and Minho were walking back from the company, Chan got hit by a speeding car." Several gasps were heard. "He's in a coma right now and has three fractured ribs."
"He's..he's not going to die is he?" Jeongin's voice shook.
"No. No he's not going to die. He's never going to leave us. He'll be okay." Minho quickly said.
"I must go talk to the company. Excuse me." Daehyun slightly bowed before leaving the dorm.
"So..what happens now?" Felix asked, looking at Minho.
"I..I don't know." Minho said, honestly.
A heavy silence took over the room only being broken moments later by a sob.
"What if he dies?" Hyunjin sobbed.
Minho quickly went to Hyunjin and embraced the younger. Hyunjin continued to sob into his chest. Soon enough it became a group hug.
"He'll be okay guys. I promise." Minho said to the crying group.
He wasn't really expecting any other response than sobs but to his surprise Seungmin spoke. "Hyung, can we go see him?"
"We need to call the manager back first but yes. We'll go see him soon."
"Did you see him already? Does he look bad?" Changbin asked.
"Yes, I saw him. He doesn't look too bad but he does have a lot of bruises."
"He's breathing okay, right?" Jeongin asked, voice no more than a whisper.
"Yes. He'll be okay. Hopefully he'll wake up soon. We all know damn well Channie hyung wouldn't leave us, ever. He's going to be okay. Everything will be okay." Minho didn't know if his words were to comfort the group or him.
The group slowly pulled away from each other.
"Who wants to help me make some food? We can pass the time until manager Daehyun comes back." Minho offered.
Although he's never really been the type to have other people help him while cooking in the kitchen, this was an exception. He knew that the group would need a distraction and while cooking may not be the best one, at least they'll pass time.
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The food was done about an hour later and they began to eat despite the anxious feeling that was eating at them.
"Did the manager call yet?" Felix asked.
"Not yet, Bokkie. Hopefully he'll be done soon. He saw my text and said he'll call as soon as he's done." Minho replied.
"Do you think he'll be awake by the time we get to the hospital to see him?" Jeongin asked, playing with his food.
"We can hope, Innie. How about we eat so we have more energy for when we go see hyung." Changbin said.
Minho's and Changbin's eyes met with the silent mutual understanding. No one is going to be alone in this.
And so, all the members ate what was technically an early dinner considering it was now close to 5pm. They ate in a heavy silence that was soon broken by Minho's phone ringing. He quickly picked it up and put it on speaker.
"Minho-ssi, how is everyone holding up?" Daehyun was heard from the other side of the phone.
“Everyone’s as okay as they can be. Will we be able to come see Channie now?” Minho quickly asked.
“Yes, I’m sending a van to the dorm now. Minho-ssi, are you on speaker?” Daehyun had a slightly weary tone.
“Yes. Should I turn it off?” Minho asked with concern.
“Yes, please.” Daehyun said before going silent, waiting for Minho to take his phone off speaker.
Minho lifted the phone to his ear with a sad reassuring smile towards his members.
“Okay, I took it off.” Minho confirmed.
“Listen, Minho-ssi, the doctors don’t know if Chan will be okay. His pressure keeps dropping rapidly. He’s still stable right now but they aren’t able to predict what’s going to happen. I want to bring the kids now just so in the worst case scenario, they will at least see him one last time.” Daehyun sighed, voice heavy, on the other side of the phone.
Minho stepped away from the rest of the group and retreated to his bedroom to continue his conversation.
“Hyung, he can’t die.” Minho’s voice cracked as he whispered into the phone.
“I know. Another thing now though, something that’s better, Chan woke up momentarily although completely delirious. The doctors say he’s most likely waking from the coma and that it’ll take time for him to fully gain consciousness. Hopefully if he fully wakes up and stays awake, his pressure will stop dropping.” Daehyun tried to supply better information despite knowing that Chan’s chance of survival was fifty fifty.
“Hyung, I..He..I need Channie-hyung here to take care of the kids. He’s never done it alone, I’ve never done it alone, we’ve always done it together. He can’t leave, hyung.” Minho let a few stray tears fall from his eyes as he continued to whisper.
“I know, Minho-ssi. Look, the van will be at the dorm in two minutes. Let’s talk some more later?” Daehyun suggested.
“Okay. I’ll see you there.” Minho nodded even though he knew Daehyun couldn’t see him.
Daehyun let out a hum of acknowledgment before hanging up the phone. Minho took a deep breath and wiped his cheeks before looking around his bedroom for a small bag. He quickly packed it with a charger, his personal items, and a polaroid photo of him and Chan before exiting the room. He returned to see his members’ sad faces as they still sat at the table.
“Okay guys, the van will be here in a minute or two. Let’s start getting ready please.” Minho announced as he started walking toward the front door to grab his jacket and shoes.
The remaining six members followed in pursuit. They were out the door within the next minute just as the van pulled up in front of the dorm. They quickly filed in and buckled their seatbelts before they began their ride to the hospital.
“Min?” Jisung whispered next to Minho.
“Hm?” Minho hummed as he turned his head.
“Is hyung really okay?” Jisung’s voice slightly cracked as he looked at Minho with glossy eyes.
“Baby, I don’t want to lie. He’s going to be okay but right now there are some minor complications.” Minho whispered, his voice so loud it was barely audible.
Jisung just slightly nodded before turning his head to look out the window.
Minho felt the guilt and worry creeping on him again. He knows he can’t take care of all of them alone. Even with Changbin, he knows that they won’t be able to do it the way Chan does. Nothing is ever going to be the same if Chan leaves.
“We’ve arrived.” The driver announced, breaking Minho from his thoughts.
The members quickly filed out of the vehicle and followed Minho into the hospital. They quickly arrived at Chan's room, anxious to actually go in.
“There can only be two people in the room at a time.” The doctor said before stepping away.
“You guys go in pairs first, I’ll go in last.” Minho said, giving a reasurring, soft smile.
The rest of the members talked amongst themselves trying to decide on pairs before looking back at Minho.
“Hyung, we want to go in with you.” Jeongin said quietly.
“I- okay. Who wants to go in first?” Minho asked, his heart squeezing at the sad looks on the members’ faces.
“Can I?” Felix asked, looking at the rest of the members.
They all nodded, sharing the mutual understanding that this was his Aussie brother who was lying in a hospital bed, unsure if he would live. Minho opened the door to the room and let Felix walk in first before following.
Felix took a seat next to Chan before speaking in English. “Chris…you’re going to be okay, mate. You told me during the survival show to always find you and I’m here and you can’t leave ‘cause then…I won’t be able to find you.” Tears rolled down his face as his voice cracked heavily. “You told me you’ll never leave me behind. Minho-hyung said you’re not going to leave and I really believe him. Please don’t prove him wrong. Don’t leave us behind.”
Minho’s heart broke at the scene in front of him. He understood most of what Felix was saying and each word that came out of the younger’s mouth felt so vulnerable it almost made him uncomfortable. He walked up to Felix and hugged him from the side. “I’m sorry Yongbok-ah..”
Felix continued to cry and hold onto Chan’s hand, whispering “I love you” and “Please don’t leave”. He turned his head up to Minho.
“Let’s go hyung, so you can bring the next one in.” Felix said, his voice hoarse as he rose from the chair.
Minho only nodded as he led Felix out of the room.
“Who wants to go in next?” Minho asked the remaining five members.
“I do.” Jisung walked towards Minho.
“You sure, jagiya?” Minho asked, seeing the hesitance in Jisung’s eyes.
Jisung only nodded and grabbed Minho’s hand. Minho gave him a sad smile and led him into the room. He sat in the chair and placed his other hand into Chan’s.
“Hi, hyung. Um…to be honest hyung, I’m scared. I…I don’t want you to leave us. You’re really, really strong hyung and I just want you to be okay.” Jisung’s tears rushed from his eyes like a waterfall. “Please hyung, just…we need you.” His grip on both Chan’s hand and Minho’s hands tightened. “You found me when I was sixteen and I felt like I was at a low and you saved me hyung. I love you so much just please…please don’t leave.” He started sobbing hard, turning his head away and into Minho’s torso.
“It’s going to be alright, jagi.” Minho’s voice was tainted with sadness as he placed his hand in Jisung’s hair.
If anything, Jisung only sobbed harder. He let go of Chan’s hand and clung to Minho.
“Come baby, let’s sit you outside, okay?” Minho suggested.
Jisung nodded as he pulled his face away from Minho’s torso and got up from the chair. He let himself be led out and sat next to Felix on the small couch.
Seungmin walked towards Minho, signaling he wanted to go next. Minho held the door open for him before following.
Seungmin just stood at the side of Chan’s bed, hesitant to reach for his hand. “Hyung…I don’t think I can say what I want to say but…just don’t leave, okay? We need you and we love you so much. We can’t live without you. Just…get better soon.” Tears silently fell from his eyes, dripping down his chin. He turned to Minho. “That’s all I can manage hyung. I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay. Come on.” Minho gestured to the door.
Seungmin nodded, prompting Minho to open the door. As he walked out, Hyunjin walked in. He stood, grasping Chan’s hand.
“Oh hyung…your hand feels so c-cold.” Hyunjin’s voice cracked. “Hyung, I love you so much and I need you here. You’re not allowed to leave us hyung. It’s not fair that this happened. I just want you to come home. I want to show you my new painting and some new clothes and- and I want-” Hyunjin broke into sobs. “I just want you to be here..I need you to be h-here.”
Hyunjin couldn’t look at Chan’s cold body any longer and threw himself into Minho.
“I just want him to come home.” Hyunjin sobbed into Minho’s shoulder.
“I know, Jinnie. I know. We all want him home.” Minho rubbed his hand along Hyunjin’s back.
“I need to go sit down.” Hyunjin choked out, although he still clung to Minho.
“Okay, Jinnie.” Minho guided the two of them out the door and sat Hyunjin on the couch where the younger clung onto Jisung.
“I want to go next, hyung.” Changbin spoke in a small voice.
Minho nodded and let Changbin walk in.
Changbin sat in the chair and grasped Chan’s hand.
“Hyung, we need you. You’re so strong and I know you’ll get through this but…I’m scared you’re going to leave. Nothing will be the same without you. 3racha wouldn’t be the same. Stray Kids wouldn’t be the same. We need you here with us. I just…I don’t always say this and now I’m worried that I didn’t say it enough but I love you, hyung. You picked me up when I didn’t know what I was doing and I’ve never been so grateful for somebody until then. When it was just me, you and Jisung, it felt like everything was finally starting to come together and then you made us an entire family. Hyung, I love you so much and we’re always going to need you. You taught us how to live and we’re all so lucky to have you.” Changbin’s voice was completely steady even as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Get better, hyung. We’ll see you at home soon.”
He let go of his hand and walked out of the room. Jeongin entered a few seconds after and immediately rushed to Chan’s side.
“Hyung…hyung I love you so much…I need you so much. There’s still so much you have to do and so many things that we didn’t get to do together yet. You said-” Jeongin choked. “You said that you’ll always be here no matter what. You can’t go, okay? We need you and I love you so much. I can’t imagine doing anything without you.” Jeongin lightly hugged Chan’s body, being mindful of his bruises. “ Please get better soon hyung, I love you.”
Jeongin stood back up and stared at Chan’s body for a moment before he turned away and let his tears fall.
“I’ll let you have your moment with him, hyung.” Jeongin spoke wetly as he exited the room.
Minho walked up to the bedside and sat in the chair.
“Hyung…The kids really need you. I can’t do this on my own. I know I promised earlier I’ll take care of them and I swear I will. I just…I can’t do it the way you do. Please wake up. I need you to wake up, Channie. Please just wake up.” Minho cried and held onto Chan’s hand.
Then he heard the heart monitor flatline. His head shot up to look at the machine and was horrified.
“No..NO!” Minho sobbed as he frantically pressed the help button before running out of the room. “Please, somebody! He flatlined! Please..”
Two nurses immediately came running and ushered Minho aside as they went to examine Chan.
“Hyung flatlined? He’s…dead?” Hyunjin spoke first, his voice cutting the thick air.
Minho dropped to the floor and sobbed, hugging his knees. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I said he’d be okay. I’m so sorry.”
Daehyun came running down the hallway quickly. “What happened? What’s going on?”
“Channie-hyung’s…gone.” Seungmin said, barely audible over Minho’s loud sobs.
“Oh my…Minho-ssi.” The manager crouched beside Minho.
“I told the kids he’d be okay.” Minho slightly lifted his head to meet eyes with Daehyun.
“Listen, there’s a chance he’ll be okay. Sometimes patients flatline when they're in a coma. In plenty of cases, the patient survives. Chan’s a really strong person and we all know this. We all know he’d fight the devil himself to stay with you guys.” Daehyun tried to provide comfort.
“But what if he doesn’t make it.” Jeongin cried.
“Don’t think about that. Let’s wait for what the nurses say, yeah?” Daehyun tried to sound optimistic, despite all the worry he was feeling himself.
Finally, one of the nurses walked out of the room after twenty minutes. “He’s stable now. We’re not exactly sure what happened but it seems that he’s waking up.”
“Oh my god, thank you lord.” Changbin frantically wiped his tears.
“He’s okay?” Jisung asked, seemingly almost in disbelief.
“He’s okay.” The nurse smiled.
“MINHO!”
Even though the voice sounded very hoarse, it was unmistakeable.
“Channie-hyung?” Minho immediately picked himself off the ground and ran straight into the room.
As he looked at the bed, Chan was slightly propped up, eyes wide open.
“Oh my god, you’re okay.” Chan said as he motioned for Minho to come closer.
“What is wrong with you? I should be the one saying that.” Minho lightly laughed through his tears.
“I heard everything you and kids said. You did so well.” Chan gently took Minho’s hand.
“Hyung…they were so scared. I was scared and I- I tried so hard to be strong for them but then you…you flatlined and I was so scared that you were really g-gone.” Minho started stuttering sobbing all over again.
“Min, you did so well being strong for them. I know it wasn’t easy at all.” Chan coughed as he turned towards the nurse. “May I have some water please?”
“Yes, of course sir.” The nurse quickly stepped out of the room.
“Come, give me a hug.” Chan opened his arms even though it hurt.
“Be careful with your body hyung. You’re injured.” Minho said and he gently hugged Chan.
“I care more about you right now, Minho-ya.” Chan’s voice was so comforting and soothing, it was a blessing to Minho.
“You need to worry about yourself. You’ve been in a coma for hours and you’re injured.” Minho shook his head. “Good to know you’re still the same hyung I know.”
The two let go of each other as the nurse re-entered the room with a bottle of water and a small package of crackers.
“Thank you.” Chan bowed his head as he graciously took the water.
“Do you want me to bring in the kids?” Minho asked, nodding towards the door.
“In a minute. I want to finish talking to you first. Come sit next to me please.” Chan gestured to the chair.
Minho followed his directions and sat down, placing his hand in Chan’s free hand.
“Minho, I know you were terrified but I am so, so proud of you. You held up strong for them. I know that this whole thing was incredibly hard for you and yet, you stayed being the strong pillar. From what I heard, I assume you came in here with each of the kids. I found that really adorable.” Chan smiled.
Minho chuckled. “They didn’t want to come in without me and they were only letting in two people at a time.”
“Speaking of that then,” Chan turned to the nurse. “Can they all come in? I really need to see all of them.”
“Let me double check with the doctor first.” The nurse smiled before exiting the room.
“Hyung, I really love you. Promise to never, ever leave? Even if one day we end up disbanding, I don’t think I would know how to live life without our family. We’re always going to need our hyung.” Minho spoke wetly, sounding completely out of character.
“Aww, look at this, my little fiery cat is getting all sentimental.” Chan cooed. “I swear, Minho. I promise I’m never going to leave you guys so long as I can help it, okay?” He squeezed Minho’s hand.
Suddenly, the door opened again with the remaining six members quickly filing in.
“Hyung! Oh my- you’re okay!” Hyunjin was the first one to reach the bedside and was quick to lightly embrace Chan.
“Yes, Jinnie, I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Chan said, tears starting to brim his eyes.
As Hyunjin pulled away, Chan took in how his members, his kids looked. That’s what it took to make the tears fall. He just fought death all because he needed to stay with his kids. His kids were hurting and terrified because they all thought he was gone. His kids were trying to be strong but they were terrified.
“Hyung, we’ll be here with you every step of the way. We can’t wait to have you back home.” Changbin smiled.
“I can’t wait to go back home.” Chan smiled as his tears stained his cheeks.
“Hyung, it was so scary.” Jeongin whimpered as he came closer to the bedside.
“I know, Innie. Come give hyung a hug.” Chan opened his arms.
Jeongin quickly accepted the invitation and started sobbing into Chan’s shoulder.
“Hyung’s not going anywhere. I’m right here.” Chan whispered as he rubbed Jeongin’s back.
As the next hour went on, each member got to hug Chan at least once before they were told that visiting hours were over and that they would have to leave.
“I want to talk to Minho for a second. Can the rest of you wait outside for him for a moment?” Chan looked at his kids with a smile.
A chorus of “Yes hyung” filled the room, making Chan chuckle. The six members exited the room and stood outside as they were told.
“Minho, I’m going to keep saying this. You did so good and I’m proud of you. I just need you to hold them for a bit longer. I’ll be home soon and everything will be okay.” Chan said as he looked Minho in the eyes.
“I can’t wait for you to come home. I’ll be able to take care of them, don’t worry.” Minho smiled.
“Give me a hug before you leave.” Chan smiled back.
Minho quickly embraced Chan before speaking. “Come home soon. We need our hyung.”