Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Why are you laughing?”

“You look so fucking stupid with that thing on.”

“First of all, that ‘thing’ has been in my family for generations–”

“You’re lying.”

“...Fine. I bought it last year at a pawn shop. But come on, doesn’t it look like a family relic?”

“I met your grandmother; you’re insulting her memory by implying she would be caught dead in that thing.”

“Well, our grandchildren will appreciate it more.”

“No. Priyanka, I’m putting an embargo on any baby talk until you throw that thing away.”

“But–”

“Non negotiable. This is one of my non-negotiables.”

“What if I get, like. A metallic strap, to go with the armor?”

“...”

“I see the wheels turniiing.”

“Get the strap first and maybe then we’ll talk. Emphasis on maybe . ”

“Sure. Like my strap game won’t erase your objections from your brain.”

“This is not fair, I don’t have a way to trick you into doing things.”

“Yeah, 'cause you don't need one. You just tell me what we’re doing and I follow.”

“That makes me sound like a bitch…”

“And it’s part of why I love you so, so much. Now help me get the helmet off, I’m stuck.”