Archive of Our Own ^beta

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“hey chucklers, welcome back to chuckle week, this episode we have a new guest as well as a previous member joining the podcast, welcome charlie and his sister, y/n!”
you were starstruck, even though your own brother was a member of this podcast for a couple years you had never met schlatt or ted in person before. these two tall looming men sat on either side of you, towering over you in every way possible, this was gonna be a long hour.

“well chucklers that's it for this week's podcast, thank you for tuning in, but wait one last thing, if you were a part of a sandwich y/n, what would you be?” all three of them stared at you after ted asked the infamous question. “oh id for sure be the unlimited games inside the sandwich.” and with that answer the podcast ended, finally you got the chance to speak to these guys without a camera in your face.

“wow y/n you must be our little fangirl of the pod knowing my infamous line” schlatt nudges you with a shit eating grin on his face. you cant help but blush when he says this, “what no i would never watch you three losers talk for almost an hour, charlie had to literally bribe me to be on today.” schlatt notices the red color your face takes on deciding not to comment. to be totally honest of course i was a fan of the pod, especially after charlie left, it meant that i got to listen to two attractive men talk and laugh for an hour a week, even eventually without my annoying brother there. i would never admit it to charlie or the other two dorks but i loved the pod.

“so y/n what are you doing while youre in la?” ted being the only one who lived here was just waiting to judge me on my plans. “well im staying at this hotel in santa monica and ill probably just spend time at the beach until i leave next week, do you have any recommendations you local?” you cant help but try to be flirty with both schlatt and ted, your attraction to them grew every time they spoke to you. “well schlatt is leaving late tonight because we’re done recording but since charlie is gonna be busy seeing his friends why dont you come spend some time at casa de la nivision?” ted threw on an accent for the last part making everyone but schlatt giggle. “ted that sounded so stupid” schlatt immediately retorted. you look over at schlatt who was already staring right back at you. there was something about him that felt different than it did during the pod, he almost seemed to dislike ted? “well ted id love to come over later, just text me your address and i’ll be there” you were happy to spend some time one on one with ted and get to the bottom of this feud you felt in the air. “in the meantime schlatt you wanna uberpool back to the hotel so you can get your stuff before you head to the airport” with a smug “sure i guess” you and schlatt were in a car within 10 minutes.

for the first bit of the ride you and schlatt sat silently before you decided to work on your conspiracy. “so schlatt what did you and ted do together while you were in la?” shocked by the silence being broken in the car he turns to you with a blank stare, “we only film the podcast together, thats it” and just like that it was back to silence.

after what felt like a 2 hour ride we made it to the hotel, “hey whens your flight? wanna get a drink before you?” schlatt looked the happiest id seem him since we met a few hours ago, “i leave later tonight, wanna meet back in the lobby in 30? i can help you bring up your bags too if youd like” finally having encountered a happy schlatt you took him up on the offer and you were off to your room.

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after schlatt brought up your bags he went off to his own room to pack. that left you unpacking for 20 minutes and another 10 to get all dolled up for your drinks before schlatt was back to take you down to the bar. you would never admit this to anyone but you've always had a thing for schlatt, it started when charlie joined the pod and you saw schlatt for the first time since his lunchclub days you found yourself attracted to him. now was hopefully your chance to get to know him and maybe even make a move. you didnt wear anything fancy, just jeans and a sweater, but you did a full face of makeup and wore your pushiest push-up bra, after making some final checks on your outfit you hear a knock at your door.

you open the door to see schlatt in his airport clothes, yellow sweatshirt, sweats, headband. good thing you had a crush on this guy or youd kick him right out. he couldnt help but do a onceover and look you up and down, trying to ignore that you noticed that you offer a room tour. schlatt dropped all his bags at the door and walked into your room. “what the fuck this room is nicer than mine y/n, who tf died and gave you all their money” you cutely laugh at schlatts comment (is this flirting?) “oh i actually had my own business up until a few years ago and i sold it off for lets just say enough to afford a room like this for a week” schlatt walked around in awe “why have i never heard about this, charlie never said anything?” “yeah i like to keep it on the down low, dont want anyone to like me only because im loaded ya know?” schlatt gives you endearing look, “well i liked you before i knew you were rich” just as your start to blush he smirks, “but now im just glad i know we’re on the same level” you hit him on the arm and he laughs “you dumbass i thought you were being sincere for 2 seconds there”

after a full tour of your place you and schlatt head down to the bar for a drink. after starting the night with some shots and following it up with a drink each, both of you were now slowly working on your seconds. the conversation drifted from what felt like flirty getting to know each other date talk to you conspiring again.

“so you and ted, not friends?” schlatt sets down his drink “yeah nah him and i are just not in the same social group i guess, but the people love us together so hence the pod. to let you in on a little secret im leaving the pod after this chuckleweek.” you give schlatt a confused look “leaving the pod, why?” schlatt turns to look directly at you “look toots im not one to air out someones dirty laundry, i just dont get along with ted and him with me, thats all that you need to know”

to be honest you stopped functioning after he called you toots but at least now you sorta have an explanation? “whats with the toots ya big flirt, you dont even have a room to take me back to anymore” you jokingly jab at schlatt feeling more confident in your drunken state. but then he shoots you a serious look and says, “no but i know where your room is”

the confident, drunken, flirty facade you laid on died then and there, you turned into a blabbering, beet red mess. schlatt laughs a bit before turning to fully look at you, and grabbing the back of your chair to turn you towards him. “listen y/n, i know im leaving in approximately 30 minutes but what do you say we get outta here for 29 minutes” youre starstruck, dumbfounded, basically braindead but you respond with “take me to my room”

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after an uncomfortable elevator ride with a random old couple from the floor below you, schlatt was standing in front of you in your hotel room. “so what do you wan-” before you could finish the question, schlatt lunges at you, his lips colliding with yours, after the initial shock you wrap your hands around his neck and he picks you up and takes you to the bedroom.

after throwing you down on the bed schlatt pulls out his phone. “really? what the fuck is on your phone thats better than the horny woman laying in front of you” you scold the man standing above you “im setting a timer because if i dont have an alarm to leave to i’ll spend hours here with you” schlatt responds “oh…fuck” schlatt crawls on top of you, meeting your lips once again, as he makes his way down to you neck you ask “how much time do we have?”, he pulls off your neck with a pop, puffy lips and all, quickly responding with a snarky “enough”

with that comment you knew you were fucked, schlatt sits you up and proceeds to help you strip down until you were butt ass naked, but it was only you. “excuse me i feel like im at a disadvantage here?” schlatt smiles up at you “babe with what i plan on doing i dont need to take my clothes off” after processing what he meant by that you exclaimed “no way i am consenting to anything without getting some skin showing on you” with that schlatt takes off his shirt to reveal his perfect hairy dad-bod chest and he didnt even need to take off his pants for you to know what you were working with down there, “happy?” after picking your jaw up off the floor you pull him right back down to your lips, giving him a once over “very happy” smashing your mouths together.

as you kissed he crawled his hand down your body until he finally reached you core, with his big hands he started to rub your already soaking wet clit making you moan directly into his mouth. “yeah sweet face does that feel good, you like that” schlatt whispers in your ear as you bite his shoulder to stifle your moans. he uses his other hand to grab you by the jaw, “no way baby, i want everyone on this floor to know what im doing to you right now, dont be shy now” with that schlatt enters his first finger into you. you gasp as he nibbles on your neck, “your hands…theyre fucking huge” you manage you work out in between moans.

after a few minutes of that schlatt looks you in eyes, “you ready for another one baby?” you nod while schlatt stares into your soul, “no baby i need a verbal yes” you barely manage to say “yes” before he already pushed his second finger inside you. all this plus the stimulation on your clit from his thumb as well as the sucking and biting on your neck, you were getting really close. schlatt could tell by how you gripped tighter on his fingers, “you about to cum baby? gonna show me how good this makes you feel?” practically screaming at this point you stifle out, “y-yes fuck…im so close” schlatt looked into your eyes with the confidence of a man who knows how to finger a girl to completion in just a few minutes, and said the words that made you come undone, “cum for me then y/n” you gripped schlatt’s back as you came all over his fingers, sure to leave scratch marks for days to come.

after a couple minutes your breathing steadied and you both sat up just in time to hear schlatts timer go off, both of you looked at the phone and then each other. quickly jumping out of bed you get dressed in a much less sexy matching sweatshirt and sweats. schlatts puts back on his sweatshirt (sigh) quickly washing his hands before heading towards his bags and the door. before he walked out schlatt turned around to give you one last goodbye, “wish i wasnt leaving but we should definitely stay in contact and try to get together the next time you may happen to be in texas, and do me a favor y/n…” schlatt grabs you and brings his face right up to yours, “dont see ted tonight, youre mine now.” he leaves you with one last kiss and just like that schlatt is gone.

you sit for about 5 minutes in silence and shock before checking your phone to see a text from schlatt, “miss you already toots” and even worse…a text from ted “want me to come pick you up in 20 minutes?” wtf did you get yourself into.

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The silence that fills your room as you stare at the two texts on your phone is deafening, on one hand schlatt just rocked your god damn world, on the other hand ted was nothing but sweet to you. You decide that its best to just form your own opinion of ted and see where the relationship with him takes you. “Head over whenever, im still at my hotel” you send ted the directions and sit in your room in silence. After a few minutes you start to get up and get ready, you cant get in teds car looking like someone just fingered you into oblivion so you fix your hair and walk over to your dresser to get changed, putting on an equally comfortable yet stylish outfit of big jeans and a sweater. As you walk out of your room and into the elevator you start to get flashbacks of standing in there with the big man himself and decided to text him. “missing you too, let me know when you land! :)” trying to casual but cute. Immediately your phone pings and your heart skips a beat but it was just ted letting you know he was there.

You get down to lobby to see a beat up old ass tacoma waiting right outside, you make you way out and see ted is already standing outside leaning on the passenger side door, “Hey y/n, ready for some exquisite cuisine at casa de la nivision?” ted bows down slightly and opens the door for you, making you giggle as you get in the car. Ted runs around to the drivers side and jumps in. “ted i love this car! It feels so homey for some reason” ted pats on the dash board “oh yeah this baby has been my little home away from home for years, glad you like her!”

After about a 20 minute drive back to teds place you enter his apartment. “Woah its like being in a celebrities house, i feel like im inside the tiktoks” you laugh as you walk around inspecting the place. “So you like really are a fan, even though youre charlies sister? Isnt that like a little weird for you” you turn to ted, you smile fades as you think hes calling you weird, “yeah i guess its like youre just my brothers friends, i mean sure you get hundreds of thousands of views and likes but it just feels like your a normal friend for charlie” “Thats very sweet when you put it that way, i guess i dont have to be worried youre gonna kill me and wear my skin now” ted laughs and you join in, any tension in the room easily disappeared.

Ted starts to cook for you and you sit at the island, watching him work his magic in the kitchen (boiling pasta and adding premade sauce lol) you couldnt help but stare at his movements. Ted eventually catches your eyes on him and decides to toy with you “hey there, i can feel you undressing me with those eyes you little freak, i know im your older brothers friend but we have to get through our first course before you can have your dessert” ted smacks his ass with the spatula in his hand as you slam your face down into your hands and laugh. Mostly because of how stupid he was acting but also to hide the blush growing across your face. What is happening, are you actually crushing on both of charlies friends right now, the ones you met less than a day ago. You pull yourself back in and decide to try to avoid staring and blushing all together for the rest of the night.

Ted sets down a plate of food in front of you as well as two large glasses of wine as he makes his way to the other side of the counter sit right next to you. “So y/n tell me about yourself, what do you do, where do you live, tell me everything i need to know” theres so much to say and you simply cant thing of anything, “well i live in santa cruz, i coudlnt seem to leave after i finished college there and so i work in a little cafe, i live in a smaller apartment, i have a cat, i like to read and do puzzles and watch movies, i like to go to the beach and i guess just relax.” even though you sold your business pretty much right out of college you still like to keep your life simple and relaxed and working is fun so why not just enjoy a simple life. “What about you ted, i mean obviously i know a lot about you but what do you do off camera” ted seems to hold back on any fangirl comments running through his mind “i love to watch movies as well uhm yeah i guess i just get busy with all my content stuff that i dont really do much other than edit, go out, and film?” you take your first bite of the meal in front of you “holy shit ted” you push out with food still in your mouth “this is fucking amazing what did you do to this” ted softly laughs at your comment “a chef never shares his secrets” he nudges you as you both continue to eat.

After dinner you make your way to the living room, ted pours you a new glass of wine after you finished your first one from dinner. both of you now sitting in respective corners of the couch so you can look each other when you talk, “im gonna be honest here ted something has been eating me up since you picked me up” ted looks at you curiously “whats that y/n?” you shift on the couch to get a bit more comfortable “why dont you and schlatt get along? I swear i thought you two were the best of friends but he told…” you cut yourself off before taking the question any further as you could sense teds moods shift. He took a deep breathe before starting to explain,

“basically, schlatt and i were going after the same person about a year ago, chuckle sandwich had just started, and she eventually chose me over him. it drove him crazy and started to act strange around us, when we would go out he would get wasted and act cruel to the two of us, he never understood why she chose me over him, he thought he was perfect i guess. Anyway we dated for about 3 months when one day i was scrolling on twitter and i see a fan that met schlatt while he was in LA for a chuckle week and he was with my girlfriend, apparently they had been talking behind my back and secretly seeing each other all week. This obviously cause us to break up and schlatt and i had to have a serious discussion about the pod, we decided to keep it going to avoid scandal and to keep the fans happy, this was around the time that tucker had to join because if he didnt schlatt and i basically refused to get a conversation started. So anyways we stooped getting along after that and it never made public news so it makes sense why you wouldnt have know”

“Woah” ted basically flipped the view you had of the man you had drinks with hours before upside down, “im so sorry you had to go through that ted” you reach over to his side of the couch and rubbed his leg. Ted grabbed your arm and pulled you closer, “thank you y/n, it really was a rough time for me, thats why i thought i should let you know before schlatt said something that made me look bad, im glad i have you here for me though, not many people know the real story” you scoot closer to ted, god dammit why do you find a vulnerable man so fucking attractive. Still rubbing teds leg hes now caressing your arm, there is no way you are about to sleep with these two men in the same day, but then you look up at ted and his eyes are yearning for you, suddenly you had a change of heart and reach up to caress ted’s face. Now within inches of each other face ted asks, “can i kiss you y/n?” you nod your head and just like that your lips are smashed together, oh fuck this about to get bad.

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Teds arm has moved around you waist as he pulls you into his lap, never breaking contact between you lips, you moan into this because of course it was fucking hot. As you straddle him Teds hands now rest on your ass and youre running your fingers through his hair. Occasionally you break contact for a breath but it very quickly resumes, you start to feel ted grow under you as you cant help but grind into his lap, he starts to moan into your mouth as you reach one of your hands down and start to rub him through his jeans. “y/n” ted stifles out between breathes “y/n i- fuck, i n-need you” he takes his hands off your ass and kicks the coffee table in front of the couch back so theres more space in front of him, you take this as a signal to get down on the floor in front of ted.

As you make you way down to the floor, kissing teds neck as you do, he quickly slips off his pants now just sitting there in his underwear waiting for your next move. You see the bulge in front of you so you decide to pull teds cock out of his pants and your mouth drops a bit, it seems to be about 6 girthy inches youre working with here and you start to drool a bit. Ted smiles down at you as you lick your hand and start to work him while you look up into his eyes. “Fuck y/n youre gonna look amazing taking me down that throat.” ted proceeds to grab the back of your head in an attempt to get your mouth on him quicker, in the heat of your druken horny moment this is the hottest thing this man could have done, so of course you oblige.

You wrap your lips around him and start to kiss and suck the tip, still working the rest of him with your hand, knowing you wont be able to take all of him. Ted continues to groan and whine above you, his hand still wrapped up in your hair helping you go deeper and deeper with every movement. “Yes y/n yes oh baby your doing so good keep going, yeah just like that” teds praise awakens a waterfall in your panties, even more excited for where this night might end up. you start to gag on teds cock, bobbing up and down as feel it start to twitch in your mouth, you can tell hes close. You use your finishing move and start to stroke the rest of his cock even faster, “o-oh y/n im g-gonna cum baby” ted grabs a fist full of your hair and holds you mouth down and his cum paints your throat as he screams and moans your name.

You swallow every last drop and teds body goes limp, after a few seconds you make your way back up to the couch, ted makes no attempt to initiate more, the night of fun appears to be over. The excitement in your panties seems to go away but as you start to get up for some water ted grabs your wrist, “hey baby” hope floods your brain as you quickly sit back down next to him, “yeah ted?” “thank you for that y/n that was fucking amazing” ted leans over and kissing your neck quick before he starts to put back on his underwear and pants, standing up to make his way to the kitchen, turning around quickly on his way, “hey i’m a little tipsy but i could drive you back to your hotel if youd like? If not i guess you could crash here or i could call you an uber.”
what the fuck just happened, you really thought this guy was into you and this is all he has to offer, you were fuming and since you really didnt know ted all too well you figured why not let it all out, “a fucking uber ted? Are you kidding me? I just gave you head in the living room, we shared a pretty romantic night, and youre kicking me out like some sort of one night stand, what the fuck are you thinking?” ted looks at you in shock, all the chill demeanor he had before dropped as makes his way into the living room, “like seriously i really like you ted and if youre too much of an idiot to see that then i gue-” before you could finish that thought ted had made his way back to you, pushing you back down on the couch, entrapping you under him as his body hovered above you and you found yourself dumbfounded, “i really like you too y/n but i like you so much that i knew if i fucked you tonight youd be too sore to even think about leaving my apartment after, so i wanted to give you the option of going before i fucked your sexy brains out. Does that make sense now?” you quickly nod your head “good, now why dont you go upstairs to my room and get ready for me while i put away the food” he kisses your cheek and he helps you get up.

As he makes his way towards the kitchen, ted quickly turns around and grabs your unfinished glass of wine, “oh and finish this sweetheart, youre not letting it go to waste” you grab the glass from ted and swiftly drink it down, starting towards the stairs and ted smacks and grabs your ass, lingering for a second as he whispers “good girl” in your ear, pushing you away as you and your drenched panties make your way up to the bedroom.