Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The alarm rang at six am in the morning, Halilintar turned it off irritably. He didn't remember setting the alarm so early.

No, it wasn't him who set it, it was Halilintar, the other Halilintar was the one who set it.

Halilintar got up irritably, his morning mood was fully reflected now. It feels like he’ll smash the alarm clock on the bedside table in the next second. God knows why the other Halilintar got up so early.

It can't be to cooking breakfast for the whole family, right?

Halilintar thought silently in his heart, then paused. After all, this is very likely.

Today is the first day that he and the other Halilintar, the unloved Halilintar, exchanged their life.

Being woken up by the alarm clock early in the morning, it's Monday also, which this isn’t a good sign, Halilintar thought silently in his heart.

Others won’t care that he didn't make breakfast, right?

Halilintar thought to himself, before, their parents cooked and the seven of them take turns to help them out, one person per day for a week. Today is Monday, meaning Gempa is the one should be helping to prepare the breakfast.

Halilintar couldn't sleep at all now, but he’s very resentful. If someone offended him, that person would be dead.

Halilintar tossed and turned in bed and finally fell asleep. When he woke up, or was woken up by the noises down stairs, it was already seven thirty. He would be late if he doesn’t get up now.

It didn't matter to him whether he went to school or not. He graduated early and was an international student who had just got back home. He usually stayed at home and had nothing to do. If he wasn't too idle, he wouldn't go to school.

Halilintar got up slowly, not realizing that how dramatic it was downstairs.

"Hali? Why are you not up before?"

After getting dressed, he went downstairs to face the questioning from his mom. Halilintar shrugged indifferently, not realizing the dissatisfaction in the other party's tone. Perhaps he realized it, but just didn't bother to care.

Halilintar is a rebellious child. Although he looks so calm and cool, he is actually the most rebellious one among the seven of them, but it's not obvious.

All these are known by his family. Of course, the family of the other Halilintar doesn't know.

"Where's breakfast?"

His mom immediately got to the point and questioned about breakfast.

Halilintar turned to look at her, with a puzzled look on his face. Her tone was so natural, as if it was his job.

"Breakfast is not my responsibility. Besides, I'm not a chef. Chefs even get paid for cooking."

Halilintar casually retorted her and took out a cup from the cabinet to drink water.

"If you want to eat breakfast, find a way yourself. If you want to be lazy, go out to eat. If you want to save money, make it yourself. This isn’t my job."

Halilintar didn't realize how much impact his words had on others. He didn't even look at them. He waved his hand, yawned, put on his schoolbag, went to the entrance to put on shoes and went out to school.

He bought a sandwich for breakfast. He ate while walking and finally arrived at the classroom before the bell rang.

The rest of the people went out without eating breakfast, after all, they’re almost late. Taufan and others who arrived in the classroom early stood not far from the inner door, talking to the teacher. There was a bucket of water on the slightly open door. Halilintar, who didn't realize the danger approaching, pushed the door open.

Of course, he didn't get wet.

Instinctively, he dodged the bucket of water and even kicked it, so that the bucket of water fell accurately on Solar.

No one saw how he did it, his movements were too fast, Halilintar himself didn't even know how he did it himself. After training in TAPOPS for a long time, he could react instinctively to attacks, and couldn't be control.

The bucket fell beside Solar, and he was soaked from head to toe. He’s stunned and didn't expect this to happen.

The instigator was a classmate in the class. They gathered in groups and always gathered together to bully the other Halilintar.

But unfortunately, Halilintar wasn’t him.

"Halilintar!"

Solar gritted his teeth and shouted his name. Halilintar turned his head coldly and gives him a slight smirk.

"Why are you shouting at me? It's not me who did this."

Halilintar spread his hands to show that he didn't know either. After being woken up by the damn alarm clock at six o'clock in the morning, he wanted to fight with anyone, even Solar, he didn't get along with him anyway.

Halilintar's peaceful performance was completely different. He wasn’t as calm and aloof as usual. It was obvious how much the morning grumpiness affected a person.

Solar turned his head and looked at the instigator of the prank.

Halilintar certainly didn't miss this move. He guessed that Solar and the others knew that the other Halilintar always gets bullied. It seemed that they were the one who chase after him in to the alley last time. If he hadn't rescued him, he might have been beaten there.

Halilintar frowned slightly, thinking about what to do next.

This big episode ended with the bell for class. The person didn’t get punished for it, but they would definitely not let Halilintar go.

Solar borrowed a some clothes and pants from Gempa and went to the bathroom to change. His eyes fell on Halilintar, which full of unknowing meanings in them.

Halilintar didn't bother to pay attention to him. He’s thinking about how he gets over this boring day.

But he’s wrong. He didn’t get bored at all.

Whether it’s the teacher be picking on him asking him to stand up and solve a math problem that hadn’t been taught in the class yet, or a group of people came to provoke him during lunch time, or Gempa and the others watched him being loudly discussed by others, Halilintar's day wasn’t boring at all.

Halilintar just thought they were particularly childish.

Of course, as an international student who graduated early, he could do all the math problems in class. When he was provoked during lunch, he directly challenged the group of people to a duel. When he was discussed, he directly confronted them in front of them. Halilintar wasn’t afraid at all, even had the momentum to kill them.

He used to be like this in school. Others complained that Halilintar had an oppressive temperament and was difficult to approach. He didn't care at all when the others said it. Now Halilintar thinks it is really an advantage.

He changed so much in a day that everyone thought he was crazy. In order to verify whether it’s true or not, some students even organized others to go and watch Halilintar 1v5. Halilintar turned a deaf ear to all of this, but he didn't expect Blaze and the others to be there, but it seemed that they were there to watch him get humiliated.

Five people fought Halilintar alone, and Halilintar had no chance of winning, but if it’s the other Halilintar. Halilintar is a member of TAPOPS, the strongest among the seven brothers, and 1v5 wasn’t a problem to him.

He didn't even need to use his powers, he could win with his bare hands.

The resentment of the whole morning reached its peak at this time. He knocked the five people to the ground in a few seconds, the people around him were stunned. Then he picked up his schoolbag and turned around and left.

Just after walking a few steps, his phone rang. It was his dad asking him to buy groceries. Halilintar saw it and sent it to Gempa who was still at the duel place.

Gempa saw it and replied with a question mark, but Halilintar didn't reply. Although he saw it, he didn't pay attention to it. After all, Halilintar had reminded Gempa that it was his choice whether to buy groceries or not, and tomorrow's breakfast depended on him.

Gempa certainly didn't realize this. He thought Halilintar will buy the groceries, but he was wrong. The other party didn't go and even ate before going back home.

But these all happened later on.

Although it was only one day of exchange, Halilintar's goal was to reverse everyone's cognition, then turned around and left casually, leaving them to think about why.

Halilintar walked slowly on the road. He didn't know what happened to the other Halilintar. He started to worry a little on the first day of the exchange, but there shouldn't be any problems.

The fact is that Halilintar is right. The other Halilintar experienced love in his world, the love he longed for and the love he deserved.

The other Halilintar even overcame his fear of the ocean and could swim freely in the ocean. He became strong, just like Halilintar himself.

Perhaps if possible, Halilintar would like to see the other Halilintar full of happiness, so that he can know how correct his decision was.

Chapter Text

Abnormal, too abnormal.

Halilintar isn’t like his usual self, no matter is his behavior or personality, he’s changed.

Solar found the difference while interacting with him in the past few days.

Halilintar never do any activities in physical education class’s free time. Although his motor nerves are very good, he doesn't participate in physical education class.

He has never learned basketball, football, or volleyball.

But in physical education class, Halilintar can shoot a three-pointer. People who have never learned basketball can only rely on their luck. but Halilintar's movements are so skillful that it doesn't look like he got the ball in because he’s luck.

Solar just thought he was secretly learning basketball so didn't take it seriously.

But it’s this indifference that made him ignore too many details, so that until now, after so long, he realized that the current Halilintar isn’t Halilintar, his Halilintar, his brother Halilintar.

Although their eating habits are very similar, they both like to put blueberry jam on toast, put more mayonnaise and no pickles on the burger, hate fish but only eat fried fish fillets, and like coffee, especially espresso.

It’s these similarities that make Solar ignore, oh no, not just him, these similarities make everyone ignore the difference between him and the previous Halilintar.

Solar thought he’s just too tired, he wanted to ignore it all, but the more he wanted to ignore it, the more obvious it became, the details he had ignored began to emerge one by one, and when he finally looked back at it, Solar realized that it’s too late.

The Halilintar that belonged to them was gone, only a fake one was left, only the Halilintar he didn't know was left.

Solar was unwilling to admit his neglect and his dereliction of duty. Like everyone else, he pretended not to notice anything unusual, just ignoring those unusual points, ignoring the fact that their Halilintar was gone.

He’s unwilling to admit that he loved his brother. He had never cared about him over the years, maybe he had, but it’s only once in a while.

Solar couldn't tell how he felt in his heart. He wanted his brother Halilintar to come back, but that’s all.

Perhaps he’s just more accustomed to someone doing the work behind the scenes, making breakfast for them, doing housework, and contributing to the family for free, because this Halilintar is different. He never did these things, and would tell them to do it themselves in a serious manner.

That Halilintar, who now occupied the identity of his brother, was like going against the whole world, breaking the balance that had always existed.

That Halilintar was independent and smart. He didn't need anyone's help or charity. He didn't need to rely on the love they gave him, that little bit of love, unlike Solar's brother Halilintar... who’s easily to be trapped.

Solar didn't want to use these words to describe him, but it’s indeed the most accurate.

He knew everything, and the others knew everything, but all of this was for Halilintar, for his own good.

Solar loves his brother, he loves Halilintar, just like everyone else, very obscure, hidden in the carelessness again and again.

So, Solar wants to find his brother, Halilintar.

He keeps observing and recording, and finally, he discovers something.

Halilintar, who now occupies the identity of his brother, and his brother are both Halilintar, to be precise, they’re Halilintar that’s from different worlds.

Solar was also surprised by his own theory at first, thinking it’s impossible, but thinking about it carefully, he has elemental power, and has been to outer space and other planets that do not exist in the seven major stars with aliens, so traveling to different worlds doesn’t seem to be a big deal.

Thinking of this, Solar immediately began to look for a way to travel to different worlds. He must find his brother Halilintar and send the person who replaced his brother back.

He even wants to expose him, expose him in front of everyone.

Solar has enough evidence. His observations and records during this period are all evidence. The time when the others feel inconsistent and the time when Halilintar shows differences from his brother Halilintar are all evidence. It’s easy to expose him.

Perhaps Solar can also force him to tell the method of traveling through different worlds so that he can find his brother, Halilintar, who belongs to them.

He wanted to tell the others about these things, but the only people he could think of were Gempa and Taufan, who were once the most familiar with Halilintar.

So, he did it.

It’s lunch time when he went to find Gempa and Taufan that day. As the president of the student government, Gempa naturally stayed in his own office, Taufan would occasionally go there. Coincidentally, both of them were there when Solar looked for them.

Before entering the office, Solar took a deep breath and knocked on the door gently. After a long time, he heard Gempa's voice, telling him that he could come in.

"Solar?"

Gempa was a little surprised at that time, but then he threw himself into the various documents piled on the table.

Taufan was helping out on the side, he’s ordering the documents by groups, while Gempa was responsible for agreeing, signing, or rejecting the application, but in the end the two were too busy, so they asked Solar, who was standing aside, to come and give them a hand.

"What are you here for Solar?"

Taufan casually asked for Solar's purpose to come here, without even looking at Solar when he asked.

Solar didn’t answer him immediately, but thinking, thinking about how to lead the topic to Halilintar.

"Oh my... Hali has been too restless recently... Why are there so many people complaining about it..."

"Indeed, he’s become unlike himself recently."

Before Solar could think of a solution, Gempa himself mentioned Halilintar. Yes, the pile of papers in front of him were all written with various complaints about Halilintar, all of which were from the suggestion box at the door of the student government’s meeting room.

Taufan also echoed him, then sighed and frowned.

Solar knew that his chance had come.

"I noticed it, too, so I observed for a while, and I found out... he isn’t our Halilintar."

Solar's words were undoubtedly a bombshell. Taufan and Gempa stopped their actions immediately after hearing his words, staring at him with wide eyes in disbelief.

Solar just nodded slowly, his serious looks aren’t fake.

Gempa stood up suddenly, and because of the huge amplitude of the movement, the chair pushed back and made a loud noise. Taufan, who’s standing next to him, was frightened by his movement.

"Solar, this joke isn’t funny."

Gempa's hands clenched slightly, he stared at Solar's face, trying to see expression of him thinking that his prank succeed, then tell himself that this was a joke.

"This isn’t a joke, Gempa."

Solar's words completely blocked all of Gempa's assumptions, Taufan finally understood the whole situation and looked at his brother Solar seriously.

"What should we do?"

The question Taufan asked was what Gempa was concerned about, and it’s also the most important part of the whole thing.

"I'll go find out what he’s up to and ask him to tell the method of traveling through different worlds."

Solar's proposal was very good, so at that time Taufan and Gempa just looked at each other and agreed immediately.

Then Solar immediately found Halilintar and told him that he had something to tell him.

Halilintar didn't have any expression at that time. He seemed to know what happened. He just nodded and then continued to do his homework.

The two of them met on the rooftop. Seeing Halilintar who’s late, Solar immediately got straight to the point and told him that he knew he wasn’t the Halilintar of this world.

Solar expected the other party to panic, but he didn't. The other party just gave a smirk and raised an eyebrow, with an extremely disdainful expression.

"Oh? You just found out?"

This wasn’t the reaction he expected.

Solar was slightly stunned. He didn't expect the other party to react like this. He’s a little angry, but he didn't know what to say or do.

"Give back! Our Halilintar! Give me back my brother!"

"Then you figure out a way yourself."

Halilintar said this, turned around and waved his hand to signal Solar that he’s leaving.

"What do you mean?!"

"I mean."

Halilintar turned around again to answer Solar after hearing his voice, but he didn't finish his sentence immediately. He just looked at Solar and then continued his own words.

"You don't love him at all. He deserves more love."

"We love him!"

Solar naively retorted. He’s about to list all the evidence that shows they loved their Halilintar then he’s interrupted by the Halilintar in front of him.

"Solar, you don't love him, admit it, you just can't live without his meticulous care and everything that has an advantage for you, isn't it? Maybe you love him, but you love yourself more. This is a very selfish love Solar."

Halilintar turned around and left after saying this, leaving Solar standing there feeling so loss.

Later, when Gempa and Taufan asked him what happened, Solar just gave vague answers and never mentioned the difference of Halilintar again.

He knew that he could no longer deceive himself that he loved Halilintar, could no longer deceive himself that everything they did was for Halilintar and for his own good.

Chapter Text

Gempa always felt uneasy, as if something would be changed, which wasn’t something he wanted.

He wanted to control everything, but the recent Halilintar became a little different, which made Gempa feel a little scared for no reason.

Since hearing Solar say that he’s not their Halilintar, Gempa realized what he’s afraid of.

He’s afraid that the current balance would be broken, that everything he had done would become nothing, so he wanted to find the original Halilintar and make everything the same as before.

Solar never mentioned anything after talking to Halilintar. Gempa knew that Solar was probably not reliable, so he decided to ask him himself.

Taufan had the same idea, but he had not found the right time to talk, but Gempa was different, he would create his own chance.

One day, Gempa found that the daily necessities at home were almost used up, and thought it’s a great chance to ask Halilintar out for a talk, but after the appointment, the other party didn’t say a word. Unlike their Halilintar, he didn’t try hard to find topics, but rather remained silent, as if it didn't matter if he didn't talk.

Gempa didn't know what to talk about, it’s usually Halilintar who found topics. Now that he was gone, no one would take the initiative to find topics, he’s a little not use to it.

When selecting the products, Gempa opened his mouth to tried to talk to Halilintar who’s getting the products off the shelves, but he couldn't say anything, he swallowed the words back when it reached his mouth.

When passing by the refrigerators, Gempa saw the mint chocolate ice cream with his sharp eyes. He looked at the ice cream then at Halilintar.

"Want to get some ice cream? It’s mint chocolate flavor, I remember you like these."

Gempa's tone was lukewarm, he seemed to be indifferent, but his eyes drifted to Halilintar from time to time, looking forward to his answer.

"Let me see."

Halilintar was interested in the ice cream. He hadn't eaten mint chocolate ice cream for a long time, because Duri would buy a lot of strawberry ice cream every time, causing the whole family to follow him to eat strawberry ice cream.

The bucket of mint chocolate ice cream was quietly in the refrigerator, it’s the brand Halilintar often ate. Halilintar took it out without hesitation, and at the same time, Gempa also made room for the ice cream.

"Do you want anything else?"

"No, what about you?"

Halilintar's tone was very ordinary, but Gempa's lukewarm tone made him felt weird, but then he thought that he wasn’t his brother, then it seemed that it isn’t a big deal anymore.

After shopping and coming out of the supermarket, the two walked in silence. Halilintar lowered his head to look at his phone, and Gempa walked quietly beside him. Finally, he couldn't help but speak.

"Hali."

He called Halilintar's name softly. Halilintar looked up and frowned slightly to express his confusion.

"Solar... he said that….."

"That I came from another world."

Hearing Solar's name, Halilintar knew what happened. He finished Gempa’s sentence before he finished speaking, and walked nonchalantly, as if he’s just chatting with Gempa normally.

"Mhm."

Gempa hummed softly.

That’s the first time he didn't know what to do. Halilintar's reaction was too calm, so calm that Gempa felt terrible, as if nothing could destroy him.

For the first time, Gempa wanted to question himself, was everything he did before really right?

Was everything he did before really is for Halilintar’s own good?

"What are you going to do now?"

Halilintar's somewhat frivolous tone came, pulling Gempa out of his thoughts. He straightened his face and shook his head.

He had no way out.

If Solar couldn't find a way to connect the two worlds, then Gempa couldn't.

"That’s what I thought.”

Gempa hated this feeling, the feeling of being manipulated and seen through.

He’s like a gummy now. No matter how Halilintar squeezed and kneaded him, he would slowly bounce back to his original shape, as if the opportunities he could create were also within Halilintar's calculations.

This Halilintar was very smart, too smart, so smart that he could follow them all.

Maybe he had known their Halilintar for a long time. During the ten days when Halilintar wasn’t home, they exchanged their lives during that period. This was Gempa's most reasonable guess.

Holding the shopping bag, Gempa clenched his hand slightly. He found that his hand was shaking, as if he’s afraid of something.

"Hali..."

He subconsciously called the familiar name, his voice was very soft, but the person who stopped in front of him wasn’t the same person as before.

"Give it to me, you can take the lighter one."

Gempa has experienced this scene many times. Every time he went out to buy things with his Halilintar, the other party would take the bag that’s heavy. Because one time, the things in Gempa's hand were too heavy, his hands were sore after carrying for a while so he complained about it. Later, Halilintar always asked him to take the light one considerately. At that time, Gempa just took it for granted.

He didn't know when he became like this. It wasn’t like this at the beginning.

"No, I can carry it.”

Gempa smiled slightly. This time he showed a very gentle smile, his tone wasn’t lukewarm, but rather gentle, a gentleness that he didn't even notice.

"Hali.....Will you like...have some curry later?"

He called the familiar name again, his voice choked with sobs.

"Whatever."

Halilintar's indifferent tone finally extinguished Gempa's last imagination about his Halilintar had never left.

He should accept the facts, he knew it.

"I'm the worst older brother, right?"

Gempa asked Halilintar seemingly indifferently, but both of them knew the answer to this question.

"I'm sorry."

Gempa finally apologized quietly, but he knew that a small apology doesn’t change anything, everything Halilintar had suffered was beyond his ability to make up for.

"You know the answer in your heart Gempa, and you shouldn't ask me, you should ask the other Halilintar, and you shouldn't apologize to me, but to the other Halilintar."

"I know."

Gempa turned his head slightly and looked at the familiar yet strange face. The red eyes were filled with different emotions from different from the other Halilintar, and more deeper, with many emotions that Gempa couldn't read.

Gempa looked at the face carefully, stopped, and took a deep breath.

"Will he forgive me?"

This question stayed on Gempa's lips for a long time, and he only now mustered up the courage to ask it.

"I hope he won't."

Halilintar walked away without looking back, and after throwing this sentence to Gempa, he walked towards their home, leaving Gempa alone to watch him leave.

He and Halilintar both knew that Halilintar would forgive them, but the sentence "I hope he won't" made Gempa realize an important thing, everything he did wasn’t for Halilintar's own good, but for his.

He’s selfish, he now finally realized it.

Gempa finally understood why Solar never mentioned the differences about Halilintar again, and was unwilling to pursue these differences, because after facing Halilintar, he could no longer deceive himself.

If possible, Gempa wanted to find his brother, his Halilintar, then tell him that they loved him very much, apologize to him, make up for the mistakes they made, and never use that little bit of love to trap him again. Gempa knew that it’s too late to do so.

He’s just a fool, a self-righteous fool, a selfish fool.

Gempa loves Halilintar and is willing to give everything for him.

Gempa doesn't love Halilintar either because he made Halilintar suffer everything he shouldn't gone through.

His Halilintar would be happier in the other world, at least better when he is with them, not just a little bit better, but much better.

Gempa knows that the person they don't love is loved in the other world, he’ll feel the love, learn how to leave them.

Gempa wants to be selfish again, just for the last time.

He wants his Halilintar, he wants him back, he wants him to stay by their side, Gempa knows this thought is selfish, but he’s been selfish for so long, it doesn't seem to be a big deal to be selfish again.

Everything he does, is for himself.

Chapter Text

Taufan has lost a lot of things.

When he’s younger, it’s the ice cream that fell on the ground, when he’s older, it’s a gift from others.

And now, he has lost his brother, Halilintar.

When he’s young, Halilintar was very gentle, always as warm as the sun light. Every time Taufan cried because of something, Halilintar would always appear and take out candy from his pocket. It’s like magic, there always seemed to be a lot of candy in his pocket.

At that time, Halilintar would always tell Taufan not to cry, comfort him, and enlighten him. Taufan still remembers his smile because he can't forget it, never could.

That’s his brother, his beloved brother.

Taufan hated that he had to pretend that he didn't love him. Every time he wanted to get close to Halilintar, he would remember the purpose of staying away from him. Taufan always felt sad in his heart, as if a knife stabbed his heart again and again, it hurts too much that he couldn't breathe.

He repeatedly told himself that everything they’re doing now was for Halilintar, he repeatedly told himself that they loved him, but in the end, Halilintar still left them.

Taufan lost his brother, and he would never come back.

The current Halilintar was like a substitute, replacing their Halilintar. Taufan knew that they had to accept a fact, accept the fact that they’re wrong.

Halilintar needed to be loved, whether it’s their Halilintar or the other Halilintar, they all needed to be loved.

Both Halilintars should’ve the right to be loved, but now only one Halilintar got it, and the other Halilintar didn’t.

The one who didn’t get loved was their Halilintar.

Guilt filled Taufan all of a sudden, and he, who’s always cheerful, couldn’t put on his usual smile at this moment.

He always deliberately ignored Halilintar, whether the other party felt lonely, or cried alone, or was bullied, he pretended not to see it all, because all this was for Halilintar, for his own good.

Looking back, Taufan didn't realize how cold he was every time he passed by and saw these scenes. He remembered that because the children in the park didn't want to play with him and always bullied him, he’s very reluctant to go to the park to play. Every time, Halilintar accompanied him and protected him, but now he has the ability to do so but hasn't done it.

Taufan hopes that he can go back to the past to make up for all this, but he knows that he can't make up for it.

He wants to talk to the current Halilintar, but thinking about it then gives up.

Halilintar has nothing to talk about with him. To be precise, he has nothing to talk about with everyone, including Taufan.

Like Halilintar's lightning, it comes fast and goes fast, but the speed is a blessing and a curse. In Taufan's memory, the warm Halilintar no longer exists, leaving only the sad Halilintar.

This change is too fast, just like lightning, even Taufan with the element of wind can't catch up with his changes.

The wind can never catch up with the lightning, just like Taufan will never realize the changes in Halilintar.

It's too late to say anything now.

Taufan just pretended not to see the differences. Just like he ignored their Halilintar before, he ignored the differences in the current Halilintar. Taufan will ignore it to the end, it’s something he couldn’t change.

If the other Halilintar comes back one day, Taufan hopes that he won't have to ignore it anymore.

He wants to look at Halilintar, touch his face, hug him, stick with him, and cling to him.

He also wants to go to the movies with him, travel with Halilintar, and even go to see his favorite ocean, maybe with the others, or maybe just the two of them.

These are what their Halilintar once hoped for, they couldn’t make his hope come true before, but now they regretted it when he’s gone, thinking that they should’ve treated him better.

Taufan wants to apologize to him, apologize for all the mistakes and their self-righteousness.

The only thing Taufan could do was to hide the fact that Halilintar was switched. He, Solar and Gempa tried hard to hide it, but they couldn’t escape the fate of being discovered.

After all, the truth can’t be hidden long.

Ais may have accidentally heard Solar's conversation with them about he found out that Halilintar was switched, then Duri and Blaze began to ask them if this was true. Solar and Gempa responded with silence, Taufan on the other hand kept changing the subject.

But Ais didn’t miss his shot.

He forced Taufan to be unable to avoid this question, questioning him why he, Solar and Gempa didn’t tell them anything. Taufan just kept saying that there’s a reason, but Ais couldn’t hear a word.

"Then tell me the reason!"

"Ais! Calm down!"

"I am calm!"

The two kept yelling at each other, Taufan tried to calm himself down, and then wanted to speak, but Ais turned and left.

"Since you don't want to tell me the reason, I’ll talk to him myself."

Ais said this before leaving. The door of Taufan's room was slammed shut by Ais. Taufan in the room could only watch Ais leave, not knowing what to do.

He wanted to find someone, someone he could trust.

He wanted to cry, cry in someone's arms.

Taufan didn't know who to find. He stood alone in the center of the room, slowly squatted down to hug himself, and then cried silently.

Taufan himself didn't know how long he cried, until someone knocked on the door and he stopped crying.

"Come in."

He tried to make his voice sound less trembling, but Halilintar at the door noticed it.

"I heard you arguing with Ais."

This happened a long time ago, and it’s impossible to say that he just found out. Halilintar probably came to him after talking to Ais.

"I guessed you’re crying."

Halilintar's tone was a little different from what Taufan knew. It’s not gentle, not warm, but very calm and without any changes in the tone.

Taufan stood up and rushed over to hug Halilintar in front of him.

Halilintar didn’t hug him back. He seemed to be used to Taufan hugging him unilaterally, and even knew that Taufan was crying alone here.

"Please... can you hug me just like how Hali will?”

Taufan could feel Halilintar's body becoming stiff, and then Taufan felt the pressure on his waist. That’s Halilintar's arm, he’s hugging him.

It’s a familiar feeling to Taufan, but it’s also unfamiliar. He couldn’t care less at this point, but just cried loudly, crying in Halilintar's arms.

He said sorry over and over again. Taufan hoped that the person standing in front of him wasn’t the Halilintar from the other world but his brother, his Halilintar. In this way, what responded to him wasn’t the cold silence, but Halilintar's soft humming and the hand that stroked his back to calm him down.

Taufan lost a lot of things, but gradually, those things have become unimportant, because one day he’ll get them back.

But this time is different. Taufan lost a very important thing, which can never be found again no matter how long it takes.

He lost his brother, he lost his Halilintar, he lost the Halilintar who would stroke his back with warm hands, he lost the Halilintar who would hum a song to calm him.

Taufan regretted it, he regretted a lot, he regretted everything.

He wanted to find his brother, his Halilintar back.

He would find it back even if the price was heavy.

Taufan hugged Halilintar tightly, buried his whole face in his arms, the other party hummed a song and stroked his back up and down.

Such a familiar touch was something Taufan had never expected, but this familiarity was also unfamiliar to him because he’s not his Halilintar.

"Thank you."

Taufan finally let go of him, thanked him quickly, hoping the other party would leave.

The other party left in silence as he wished.

At that moment, Taufan almost made a mistake, thought the current Halilintar was their Halilintar, but Taufan knew that he wasn’t their Halilintar.

Chapter Text

Sitting in the kitchen, Halilintar looked at the mint chocolate ice cream in the bowl, which was almost finished, took a sip of the espresso in the cup on his left.

Solar and Gempa have been much quieter after talking to him these days, but the rest of the people... Halilintar couldn't tell, their eyes were on him from time to time, but always filled uncertain.

Maybe Gempa and Solar didn't tell others, but Taufan might be an exception, but Halilintar was in no mood to care about these things.

After eating the last bite of mint chocolate ice cream in the bowl, Halilintar took a deep breath then drank the espresso in the cup.

The bitterness of coffee and the sweetness of ice cream blended together, with a hint of chocolate and the fragrance of mint. This feeling is a feeling that Halilintar hasn't experienced for a long time.

His stomach was a little full, and Halilintar took a deep breath and then exhaled, as if this would make his stomach feel better.

The ice cream in the bowl was just like him now, empty, with only some melted ice cream left to show his remaining energy.

He no longer had any extra energy to deal with anyone, Solar, Gempa, or anyone else, he had no energy to care about them.

He admitted that he was tired.

Halikintar also admitted that he regretted a little.

He regretted exchanging lives with the other Halilintar. This place was simply a terrible hell. Even this description was not quite accurate. It’s even worse than hell, so bad that Halilintar didn't know what kind of words to use to describe it.

So, Halilintar regretted it.

But his regret just proved the fact that the other Halilintar wasn’t living well, so he regretted it, but he also didn't.

He said that he wanted the other Halilintar to be loved.

He made this decision, and he said it without any thinking.

The scene of that day was still vivid in his mind, a scene that Halilintar could never forget.

"Do you want to exchange?"

He remembered asking the other Halilintar this.

He still remembered that he pretended to be casual, but in fact, he said it after a long consideration. He didn't even know whether the other Halklintar would agree.

Speaking of it, he’s also being stupid at that time. He said it without any preparation. He’s very impulsive, which wasn’t like his usual self.

Halilintar sighed and got up to wash the dishes.

The flowing water in the sink reminded Halilintar of the time when he went to the water park with the other Halilintar.

When the other Halilintar accidentally got hit by someone and almost drowned, Halilintar only felt scared.

His mind was blank and didn't know what to do.

He remembered that he could swim, then he jumped into the pool without hesitation, rescued the other Halilintar.

He saw the other person's expression, which was calm and without any other expressions. It’s an expression of accepting his final judgment.

There was no fear, no uneasiness, but these made Halilintar afraid. At that time, he realized that the other Halilintar wasn’t afraid of swimming, nor could he swim, but he longed for it, a strong longing.

He always knew that the other Halilintar liked the ocean, which was a strong desire for him, but what was behind that desire, Halilintar couldn’t guess.

He still remembered that the other party said that he wanted to keep a good memory with him, how did he reply?

Halilintar couldn’t remember it, but soon, those conversations became clear in his memory.

"Memor….ies? Well, even if it's not beautiful, it can become beautiful. Even if you can't forgive him, it’ll become part of the memory, because you’ll remember the first time you refused someone's apology. But...it doesn't matter, because in the future when you think of our memories of being together, you’ll feel how much you cherished it at that moment."

Not only that, he also said something else.

"You will have more beautiful memories in the future, not just this one."

Halilintar's deepest fear was well concealed when he said these words, his tone didn’t change, as if he’s just stating facts.

But Halilintar was afraid at that time, afraid of losing the other Halilintar.

His calm reaction after drowning made him a little confused, but also made him feel unprecedented fear, just like something buried at the bottom of a box, covered with dust, quietly staying there, and if someone touches it, they will die immediately cause the spell on it.

The description is a bit exaggerated, but it’s the most accurate description Halilintar can find.

So he guessed, he guessed the other Halilintar's desire and persistence for the ocean, because he once loved the ocean as well.

The water in the sink kept flowing, Halilintar came back to his senses at this time and realized what he’s standing here for.

Picking up the dish towel, Halilintar began to wash the dishes, but in fact, the ice cream in it had been almost washed away by the water, but it’s always more reassuring to wash it again.

After washing the dishes, Halilintar picked up his coffee cup, put it in the sink, filled it with water, and waited to wash it later.

The ice cream he and Gempa bought last time was originally not touched by anyone except himself, but for some reason, Solar would occasionally eat some.

Halilintar asked him, and Solar's answer was it’s none of your business.

How could an older brother not understand his younger brother?

He understood Solar, whether it’s his younger brother Solar or the other Halilintar's younger brother Solar, because they were essentially the same person, whether in character or habits, they were all exactly the same.

Halilintar could guess the reason for Solar's behavior, he missed the other Halilintar, he could only express his longing by relying on the ice cream he used to like to eat.

Halilintar also let him do whatever he wanted, so later on he would buy him a small box of mint chocolate ice cream, which was specially for Solar. Although he didn't say it clearly, the other party seemed to know it.

Thinking about it, Halilintar realized that time passed quickly. Just when he was about to take out his phone to see if there’s any food he hasn’t try nearby, he saw Ais running into Taufan's room.

It’s very strange, because in Halilintar's impression, Ais, whether it’s the Ais in this world or the Ais in his world, wouldn’t go to Taufan's room, or he wouldn’t go to anyone's room except Blaze, but all of this had nothing to do with Halilintar.

He should think about what to eat for lunch now.

He’s tired of eating at the nearby restaurants, and he planned to change to try out some new food.

Halilintar thought that maybe he could go out to buy some groceries and try the tomato beef rice bowl his father taught him. It sounded delicious, but he’s too lazy to move.

At this moment, Halilintar hoped that someone would buy tomatoes and beef home.

Gempa, who appeared at the door, was a savior. He had all kinds of groceries in his hands. Halilintar rushed up and took away the tomatoes and beef.

"What are you going to cook?"

Gempa's tone has changed a little in the past few days, becoming more gentle and more like his brother Gempa.

"Tomato beef rice bowl, don't ask me to cook for you all.”

"I know."

He seemed to have figured out Halilintar's temper, and knew that he wouldn’t cook for them like their Halilintar, but Gempa was used to it, and just told him to remember to put the groceries in the refrigerator, and he’s going out to pick up Solar.

Solar came home very late these days, saying that he had tutoring, but Halilintar just thought it was unnecessary. Solar was very smart and he didn't need any tutoring.

However, it cannot be ruled out that Solar tutored others.

Not long after Gempa left, Halilintar had a bad feeling.

He couldn't say it, but he could feel it every time someone quarreled or something, and he felt it in advance.

When Ais went to Taufan's room, Halilintar felt something was wrong, but he didn't take it to heart. After all, they also had their own little secrets, which Halilintar couldn’t interfere with.

He put the matter behind him after Gempa came back, but now the feeling came back again. Halilintar guessed that something might have happened between Ais and Taufan.

The noise was getting louder and louder. Halilintar, who was farthest from Taufan's room and still downstairs, heard their noise, although he still couldn't hear the specifics of what they’re talking about.

"Then tell me the reason!"

"Ais! Calm down!"

"I am calm!"

The last thing Halilintar heard was Taufan and Ais shouting at each other. The next second he knows, he saw Ais standing in front of him, panting, looks like a awful mess with a slightly red on his face.

"Halilintar, I think we should talk."

Chapter Text

"Halilintar, I think we should have a good talk."

Ais's tone was a bit aggressive, he knew, but he couldn't stand it.

Gempa, Taufan and Solar hid a such of big thing from them, it would’ve been strange if he isn’t angry.

He tried to calm down, but when he thought about the person in front of him is replacing his brother, Ais couldn't calm down at all.

Halilintar just stood by the table, crossed his arms, waiting for Ais's next words.

He didn't speak either. He knew what Ais wanted to say something but nothing more than "give my brother back to me", it’s always something around the lines. He had heard Solar say these words enough, so there was no need to listen it again, so he hoped Ais could switch up his words, at least to make this conversation less boring.

Ais was waiting for Halilintar to speak.

He was waiting for him to admit that he wasn’t his brother, to admit that he wasn’t their Halilintar.

But he didn't get these words from him, the other party just looked at him calmly, his face was unbearably cold, as if Ais, whose elemental power was ice, felt the cold.

It wasn’t an ordinary cold, not like the coldness of a blizzard or ice. The coldness of that expressionless face was deep in the bones, it’s a coldness that you would feel it no matter how many clothes you wore.

The two sides just looked at each other, and no one spoke.

Halilintar didn't seem to care at all, but the expression on Ais was new to him. He had never seen Ais so angry. He even had the urge to take the phone on the table and take a picture.

Halilintar's indifference irritated Ais. His hands clenched slightly. He tried to adjust his breathing, but he couldn't suppress the anger in his heart.

He wanted to speak, but he didn't know how to speak.

"So what do you want to talk about?"

Halilintar tilted his head slightly and looked at Ais. He guided the other party to talk. After all, this was what Ais wanted. But Ais didn't do as he wished. Instead, he stepped forward and grabbed his collar and yelled at him.

"Don't put on that indifferent expression!"

Ais' tears slightly fell, just like melted ice. If you don't look carefully, you can't see the water on the ice, but Halilintar, who’s so close to Ais, noticed it.

He raised his hand to wipe Ais' tears. Ais was stunned for a moment, then slapped his hand away and took a few steps back.

"Don't pretend to be like him!"

Ais probably had the biggest reaction among the brothers.

He didn't accept Halilintar's indifferent look, he didn't like Halilintar pretending to be his brother Halilintar, as if Halilintar's existence was enough to disgust him.

This was something Halilintar himself couldn't have thought of.

Ais has always been the calmest one, he’s somewhat similar to Halilintar's coldness, but different. Although Ais is also a little cold, he is just too lazy to talk and move, his attitude towards things is also very objective, so he looks cold.

But Halilintar is different.

Halilintar is different from Ais in calmness. He is aloof and doesn't like others to get close to him. He doesn't like to talk and likes to do things quickly. In contrast, Ais, who is crying and shouting here, is very different from usual.

So, Halilintar certainly can't imagine that he has such an attitude towards the matter of "my brother is being replaced".

"So...?"

Halilintar frowned slightly and tried to continue Ais's words.

"Where is he?"

Ais's tone suddenly became dropped. He still looked angry, but Halilintar smelled the breath of danger.

Ais's surroundings suddenly began to freeze. Halilintar knew that Ais was going to lose control.

"Ais, calm down."

Halilintar made a gesture to welcome the enemy. Although this wasn’t the way to treat his brother, he obviously regarded Halilintar as an enemy.

"Calm down? Don't talk to me about calming down. Give me my brother back!"

"Ais!"

"I know you’re not my brother! I knew it from the beginning! I knew it from the first day! You’re not him! Give him back to me! Give him back to us!"

Halilintar didn't want to watch Ais lose control, at least not here.

"Ais!"

Halilintar didn't know what to do for a moment. Ais obviously couldn't listen to him now. It would be better if there was someone familiar to him around at this time.

For example, Gempa who just left.

But Halilintar is also one of the people Ais is familiar with.

He is his brother, but not his brother.

Halilintar tried to relax himself, then carefully recalled what the other Halilintar, Ais's brother, was like in normal times.

In the process of getting along with the other Halilintar, Halilintar could clearly feel the difference between the other and himself.

The other Halilintar was obviously more gentle, and his voice was also very soft, but sonorous and powerful, unlike Halilintar, who’s quiet and cold.

The other Halilintar also had a faint smile, with the corners of his mouth slightly raised, which couldn’t be seen without careful observation.

When he called people's names, his voice was also soft, you could clearly hear the laugh in his tone, his eyebrows were also slightly curved, and he looked very approachable.

Halilintar walked forward slowly, taking a deep breath while walking, he wanted to brew it well and imitate the other Halilintar.

At least this would calm Ais down.

Halilintar knew that it’s wrong to do so, the other party might be angrier, but Halilintar could still knock the other party down in an instant. The devilish training in TAPOPS over the past few years has made him experienced, he also knows Ais's weaknesses, so it’s still easy for him to knock Ais down.

"Ais, calm down, okay?"

Halilintar opened his arms, his eyebrows curved, the corners of his mouth slightly smiling, his tone was also light, and smiling, not the usual cold and unapproachable feeling.

Ais was obviously stunned. He knew that the Halilintar in front of him wasn’t his brother Halilintar, but that tone, that demeanor, no matter from which aspect, he and his brother were particularly similar, as if the Halilintar in front of him was his brother Halilintar.

Halilintar was getting closer and closer to him. Ais knew that he should push Halilintar away, should scold him about imitate his brother, but Ais couldn't do it at this moment. They’re way too similar, so similar that he couldn't even scold him.

"Ais, I'm here."

Halilintar hugged Ais, when he’s about to throw Ais to the ground with an over-the-shoulder throw, unexpectedly, the other party hugged him back, but his eyes and expression were particularly dull, as if he did it subconsciously.

Halilintar didn't know what to do.

It’s best not to provoke the other party now. Halilintar knew this very well and had to adapt to the situation.

Ais hugged Halilintar, not knowing what he’s thinking, he himself didn't even know what to do. He hugged the other party completely subconsciously, just like he’s hugging his brother. Now he just regarded the Halilintar in front of him as his brother, his Halilintar.

"Ais..."

Halilintar tried to maintain a gentle tone, maintaining the tone of the other Halilintar, but this wasn’t a long-term solution. Ais might lose control in the next second. He could only hope that the other party would calm down or wait for an opportunity to knock the other party to the ground.

The ice around Ais melted into puddles of water, but the person who would clean up the water on the ground later wouldn’t be Halilintar, after all, it wasn’t him who made the mess.

Ais suddenly began to sob softly, Halilintar sighed and hugged him tighter, as if Halilintar was comforting his brother Ais at this moment.

Halilintar is Ais's brother, but not this Ais's brother.

Similarly, Ais is Halilintar's brother, but not this Halilintar's brother.

Both of them miss their families. Ais misses his brother Halilintar, and Halilintar misses his brothers, including Ais.

Perhaps the two people share the same pain, but there are also some differences. However, Halilintar doesn’t want to dwell on these things now, because whether Ais has calmed down or not is still a question.

"..... You’re not my Halilintar."

"Mhm.”

Halilintar resumed his cold tone, in line with what Ais said.

"I know you’re not my brother. I knew it from the first time we met. You’re different from him because you have the things he doesn't have, so it’s easy to tell..."

"Mhm.”

"You’re not my brother... Please, I beg you, please give him back, okay?"

But this time Halilintar didn’t respond to Ais, because the both of them knew that this was impossible.

Chapter Text

Duri rarely has time to be alone with Halilintar.

He likes the feeling of being with Halilintar, which is different from being with Solar. It’s a feeling that Duri can't describe, but he likes it.

Halilintar is gentle, just like a lily, white and untainted. Duri has always known this.

Halilintar is the lily in his heart, and this is the secret he buries in his heart.

But Duri has many secrets, more than one.

Those’re the ones he can't say, he can only bury them in his heart.

Halilintar is everything to him, his secret, his lily.

Even if it’s a different Halilintar, it doesn't matter, because in Duri's heart, his lily will only be his brother Halilintar, no matter how many Halilintars there’re , they can never be the lily in his heart.

Because they’re different, they’re never his brother Halilintar.

Duri, who knew this well, would never feel sad about the existence of Halilintar. He’s optimistic and naive, and always thought that his brother would come back.

But when Duri found that everyone was talking and asking Halilintar, the current Halilintar, to give back their Halilintar, Duri realized the seriousness of the matter.

It seemed that he would never see his Lily again.

Duri watched others fail again and again, and he began to panic. The thoughts in his mind that he couldn’t go out of his mind all exploded at once, the things he had always feared became a reality.

His lily, his Halilintar, will never come back.

Duri didn't know what to do. Originally the other Halilintar obviously didn't look annoying, but now he’s like a caterpillar that would destroy his lily, making people feel resentful.

That wasn’t an ordinary resentment, it’s the resentment build from taking away Duri's most precious, beloved, the secret in his heart, everything he had, it’s a resentment that couldn’t be easily eliminated.

Duri knew that he shouldn't hate him, because they were the instigators of all this, but the existence of the other Halilintar was so annoying, so annoying that make Duri remember everything he had done to his brother Halilintar at a glance.

Yes, it’s wrong, but it’s all for Halilintar.

Since it’s for his brother, his lily, and his Halilintar, then everything was worth it. At least in Duri's opinion, if it’s for Halilintar, even if he’ll get hurt, then it’s necessary, because it was all for Halilintar's good.

Halilintar was the lily in Duri's heart, always so pure, so innocent, so simple, and the lily that Duri wanted to protect with all his strength.

He wouldn’t allow anyone to replace his lily, absolutely not.

Duri spoke to Halilintar for the first time, and the Halilintar now, who replaced his brother. He probably was the only person who didn't like to contact with him in the past few days, but also probably the only person who didn't care about him.

But now it's different. Halilintar is a thorn in his eyes, a thorn that can't be pulled out no matter how hard he tries.

Halilintar just watched him take care of the lilies casually at that time, and after watching for a few minutes, he started to talk to him.

"It's pretty."

"Is it!"

Duri likes people to praise his plants, especially his lilies, because they’re lilies that symbolize his Halilintar.

"My brother Duri also takes care of the lilies."

Halilintar didn’t hide the fact that he wasn’t their Halilintar, but after getting along with him for a few days, probably all of them have guessed it, so there is no reason why to hide the fact anymore.

"Really?"

"Yea, because he said that lilies are very similar to me, and that when he misses me, he’ll look at the lilies he grows."

Duri was stunned when he heard Halilintar's words. He didn't think that he’s like this in the other world, regarded his brother, Halilintar, as lilies.

"Oh..."

Duri's voice became much quieter, but Halilintar didn’t really notice. He just took a closer look then turned to leave.

"Oh, wait for me a little.”

Halilintar, who had never thought that Duri would call him, stopped then slowly turned to look at Duri. The other party smiled, a little far-fetched, but Halilintar could feel that he had something very important to give him.

"Sure.”

Halilintar chose to trust his intuition. He stood there waiting for Duri, while the other party returned to the room upstairs, seemingly looking for something.

"Here.”

When going downstairs, Duri held a bookmark that has lily petals on it, but it had dried up long ago. It’s probably a bookmark made specifically after the flowers withered.

"It’s for you."

Halilintar, who had never thought that the other party was looking for a gift for him, took the bookmark Duri gave him in a daze, but he remembered that he seemed to have said before that he wanted a bookmark made of lily petals, and his brother Duri promised to make him one after hearing it.

But now it may not be necessary, because Duri in front of Halilintar gave him one.

"Thank you."

"No need, I have plenty! If you still want some, I have more!"

Duri smiled slightly, Halilintar subconsciously touched his head, as if the other party was his brother.

"Hali asked me for a bookmark before, but I didn't finish making it. I thought you’re all Halis, and it's the same to give it to you."

This is the truth.

Duri later heard from Solar and the others that the two Halilintars are the same person, so he can't hate him, or can’t hate him fully.

Because the Halilintar in front of him is also his brother, also the lily in Duri's heart.

He wouldn’t hate his lily, but the Halilintar in front of him wasn’t his brother after all.

"But you still should give it to him, after all, I am not your brother, but thank you for the bookmark."

"It doesn't matter, because I didn't have time to give it to him at that time... When I wanted to give it to him, he’s gone."

Halilintar was confused, not sure what Duri meant.

"Why do you say that?"

Halilintar asked casually, he fiddled with the bookmark Duri had just given him, the bookmark was very beautiful, pure white, but it matched Halilintar very well.

Maybe Halilintar could try white clothes or something, after all, white is really versatile, while red is very picky.

"Because he died before I gave it to him."

The hand that’s fiddling with the bookmark suddenly stopped. Halilintar couldn't be sure what he had just heard, because the reason Duri said wasn’t what he thought. Halilintar originally thought that Duri meant that he didn't have time to give the other Halilintar the bookmark because he and the other Halilintar exchanged lives, but he didn't think that the other Halilintar was dead.

But no, the other Halilintar was still fine, he didn't die. Thinking of this, Halilintar looked at Duri in confusion, opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but Halilintar didn't know where to start and what to ask.

Duri was a little flustered.

He didn't think that he’s way too comfortable to say the secret out loud. He wanted to use something to cover up what he had just said, but that sentence was too shocking, and he couldn't cover it up no matter how he hard he tries.

"Uh.....No, I mean.....Uh...My lilies haven't been watered yet. I'm going to water them! Bye!"

Duri's lilies were near the stairs, not far from where Halilintar and he were standing, but Duri ran all the way upstairs. Besides, he’s watering his lilies when he started talking to Halilintar. People who love plants like Duri should know that plants can't be watered so frequently.

Halilintar just looked at the direction where Duri left, a little lost him his thoughts. It seemed that he couldn’t ask anything out of Duri now.

He looked at the bookmark in his hand, the lily that his brother Duri had said looked like him. Halilintar felt a little complicated. He didn't even know what’s going on.

He put the bookmark in his pocket casually. He’s going to find others to ask what Duri meant by his words.

Halilintar put on his shoes and went out while thinking. He remembered that Gempa told him that Blaze got into trouble again, but he didn't have time to take care of him, so he called Halilintar to help.

Although Halilintar refused at first, he had no choice. Gempa looked particularly haggard, and Halilintar won’t be that bad to not help him.

On the other side, Duri ran upstairs and went to Solar's room. When he arrived at Solar's door, he stopped, slowly turned the doorknob, then pushed the door open and closed it.

"Solar, help.”

"Remember to knock on the door next time, Duri."

"Now isn’t the time to talk about this. I accidentally let it slip."

Duri's words made Solar look up suddenly. He looked at Duri in disbelief, stood up, strode over, grabbed his shoulders, and shook him, not sure if what he heard was true.

"What did you just say?!"

Chapter Text

Blaze has always been good at getting into troubles.

Not only does he like to get into trouble himself, he also occasionally brings others, others meaning Taufan and Duri, to get into trouble together.

The troubles he has caused are all pretty weird, such as applying glue on other people's textbooks so that they can't open the books, adding vinegar to empty bottles of shower gel, adding soy sauce when making hot cocoa, deliberately putting some bionic spiders on the floor and watching others get scared, and all these above are just the tip of the iceberg.

But this time is different.

Even if the pranks are usually serious, they’ll not be too out of line, but this time even Gempa was involved, and Gempa was even more haggard because of this matter, until the end, Halilintar had to come forward, although he’s asked to.

Halilintar sighed when he thought of this and walked to the nearby basketball court.

Blaze likes to stay alone in the basketball court, especially when he gets into trouble.

Halilintar knew about this because his brother Blaze liked to stay at the basketball court not far from home every time he gets into troubles. He said it’s beautiful there, especially near the evenings.

Every time Blaze got into trouble and Gempa couldn't control him, Halilintar would come forward to solve it. He always found Blaze at the basketball court, and later it seemed to become their secret. Every time Blaze was unhappy, he would come to the basketball court, and Halilintar followed him. Although the two of them didn’t do anything, they just stayed quietly beside each other.

And the Blaze here was the same.

He also liked to stay at the basketball court, so Halilintar naturally found him without any effort. Halilintar saw Blaze sitting on the bench of the basketball court from a distance, looking up at the sky.

Halilintar had seen this scene countless times. He walked over slowly and opened the door of the basketball court that’s really old.

The sound of the door was loud, and startling Blaze. He hadn't thought that Halilintar could find him, and looked particularly surprised.

"Blaze."

Halilintar just called Blaze's name, with his hands in his pockets, seemingly not caring why he’s in the basketball court, as if all this was particularly normal.

"What?"

Blaze replied unhappily, seemingly angry.

Blaze's impulsive personality was also one of the reasons why he’s easily involved in trouble. Halilintar naturally knew that an impulsive personality could only be coaxed slowly. Anyway, he had coaxed his brother Blaze countless times, and it wouldn't be a big deal to coax him a few more times.

"What's wrong?"

"It has nothing to do with you."

Blaze didn't seem to want to pay attention to him, but he looked like he’s about to cry, and even his tone sounds like crying, as if if Halilintar comforted him more, or even asked him how he was, or said one more word to him, Blaze would cry in the next second.

But Blaze was impulsive and stubborn. He didn't like others to see him cry, and Halilintar was classified into this category.

Because Blaze knew very well that Halilintar wasn’t his brother, or at least not his brother in this world.

"You sure?"

Halilintar sat down next to Blaze. He responded to Blaze lightly, as if the voice came from a very far place, so far that even Blaze didn't know whether the answer he just heard was from Halilintar.

Halilintar didn't seem to care at all. He just sat there with Blaze and watched the sunset. The two were very quiet. The word quiet was very rare for Blaze, but Halilintar was the opposite. Quiet seemed to be always associated with him.

Blaze thought he would hate this feeling, as if his territory was invaded by someone he didn't know, or at least in his opinion, he didn't know Halilintar at all.

"You know what? My brother Blaze often comes back to this basketball court too. He doesn't do anything but just sit here."

Halilintar's sudden words startled Blaze, but the shock was soon replaced by confusion.

"He would come here whenever he’s in a bad mood or got into trouble. I once found him here by chance, sat with him until the evening. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, he also cried in my arms when he went home."

Halilintar seemed to be talking about what Blaze had experienced before, because his brother, his Halilintar, used to sit with him here until dawn.

He also cried in his brother Halilintar's arms, and his brother Halilintar also found him by chance.

Those similarities made Blaze a little dazed, as if Halilintar was his brother now.

"So Blaze, if you have something that makes you unhappy, you can tell me. That’s my point."

"But you aren’t my brother."

The sentence "But you aren’t my brother" was like a long-planned ambush. As long as Halilintar revealed a little similarity with the other Halilintar, this sentence would come out of Blaze's mouth without thinking, as if Blaze had wanted to say this for a long time.

Halilintar was a little surprised that Blaze would say this, but it’s normal to think about it, because he wasn’t their Halilintar.

"But I am also Halilintar, and the brother of the other Blaze. So, I am still your brother."

Halilintar seemed to be talking casually, and wasn’t interested in how Blaze answered him. It seemed that nothing Blaze said would surprise him anymore.

Blaze was abnormally silent. He didn’t respond, but just stared at Halilintar's face, as if he wanted to see a little falsehood in his words, so that he could accuse Halilintar of hypocrisy.

But the other party's expression didn’t change, still indifferent but with a hint of smile, Blaze couldn’t see anything from his face, so he had to give up and look away.

"So what happened?"

Halilintar got to the bottom of it, Blaze now felt that he couldn’t escape, he had to tell the truth.

He got into trouble as expected, but this time was different, this time was too serious.

Blaze almost lost Solar's lab report, a very important lab report, in exchange for Solar's yelling and Gempa's scolding.

After listening, Halilintar said that Solar has always been like this and told him not to care.

"But the lab report is..."

Blaze didn't know whether to continue or not. He looked up at Halilintar, and seemed a little guilty.

"It’s a way to connect two different worlds, am I correct?”

Halilintar seemed to have guessed something and said it without any care.

Blaze just nodded. Of course he knew he’s wrong, but he didn't know how to apologize. However, Halilintar felt that Solar wasn’t too angry. And the experimental report was found, Gempa also told him to apologize to Blaze for him when he asked him to find Blaze.

Blaze seemed to have come to his senses and returned to his usual self.

Halilintar was relieved to see him return to his usual mischievous look, then he remembered that he should ask something about what Duri said, after all, Blaze would most likely tell him.

"By the way, let me ask you something."

"What is it?"

Blaze looked at him in confusion. It’s quite rare for Halilintar to ask him something, after all, he seemed to know everything.

"I heard from Duri that your brother...died once?"

"Oh, that...that's because we all..."

Blaze suddenly stopped talking when he realized what he’s saying. He looked at Halilintar in disbelief and suddenly stood up wanted to escape, but was pressed back to the stool by Halilintar who’s oppressive.

“You all what?"

That’s the first time that Blaze really felt the difference between Halilintar and his brother.

The innate sense of oppression made Blaze speechless. The next thought in his mind was that he wanted to escape from this person.

"Blaze, answer me."

"We...we..."

Blaze's feeling of fearing the secret being exposed and fearing Halilintar were fighting in his mind. He didn't know what choice to make. Halilintar didn't force him to make a choice immediately, but just watched quietly, because Blaze couldn't escape his sight anyway.

"All reborn..."

Blaze's final choice was to tell him everything, but Halilintar just looked at him and patted his head.

"Sorry, I scared you."

That apology didn't seem to calm Blaze's fear, but it wasn’t the point now, because Halilintar knew that he was in a huge rebirth game, and the other Halilintar was the player of the game.

But since he’s in the game, Halilintar himself would play till the end.

Chapter Text

"Tell me, Gempa, tell me."

Halilintar just said softly, reminding Gempa of something that happened a long time ago.

"Tell me, Gempa, tell me."

Halilintar said the same thing at that time, with curved eyebrows, trying to let Gempa not have to bear everything by himself. At that time, Gempa told him everything lightly, but got the same ending.

That’s his brother, that’s his Halilintar.

"Tell me, Gempa, tell me."

Halilintar repeated it again, his voice was still very light, as if he softened his posture.

But no, he didn’t soften his posture.

Gempa could feel his toughness, as if he didn't tell the reason, didn't explain what’s going on, Halilintar's superficial calm would be broken.

Gempa just looked at him, silent, as if Halilintar wouldn’t question him, and wouldn’t let him reveal his secrets.

Duri's careless leak and Blaze's forced confession let Halilintar know something he shouldn't know. Gempa didn't want to repeat the same mistake, even if it’s a different Halilintar.

Halilintar's words "Tell me, Gempa, tell me" kept ringing in Gempa's mind. Even if Gempa closed his eyes, he could still hear the familiar voice whispering this sentence in his ear.

He couldn't tell him, never.

Failure after failure made Gempa extremely scared. He wasn’t sure whether he would be reborn again, and he wasn’t even sure whether Halilintar would die again.

This situation was what he least wanted and what he hated the most.

Gempa lost his brother Halilintar once, twice, until he became numb in the end, just because he trusted him too much.

Halilintar can’t know this secret, whether it’s his Halilintar or the Halilintar from the other world, they can’t know it, because Gempa has never been ready to lose Halilintar again and again. Since telling the secret will make him lose Halilintar, it’s better not to tell.

All six of them think so.

Whether it’s Gempa himself, Taufan, Ais, or the others, they all stick to one principle, just to protect Halilintar.

But he hates it.

Gempa hates that he needs to pretend that he doesn't care, he had to ignore everything, and so do others. They love Halilintar deeply, but they’re also selfish.

"Gempa."

Halilintar's voice came, his patience seems not to have reached its limit yet, he’s still calm, just like any other time, just like Gempa's impression.

No, his Halilintar isn’t that cold.

His Halilintar was gentler, could smile, and talked more, which was completely different from the Halilintar in front of him. The other party was more cold than gentle, which was quite different from the Halilintar in Gempa's impression.

"Tell me."

Halilintar kept asking, as if he knew everything regardless of the consequences, but Gempa remained silent from beginning to end. He’s waiting, waiting for Halilintar to leave in a rage because he couldn't ask anything, but no, Gempa and him just looked at each other in silence, as if his patience was completely endless.

Gempa was a little shaken.

The Halilintar in front of him wasn’t his brother Halilintar, maybe he had a chance to avoid the ending.

The voice deep in Gempa's heart was screaming, telling him not to tell the secret, but the voice in his head seemed to have charm, making him open his mouth and tell the Halilintar in front of him everything he knew.

"I'm not him."

Halilintar's words were like the last straw that broke Gempa's sanity, now the charming voice in his mind won, and Gempa finally planned to speak and tell him everything.

The voice deep in his heart was still shouting at Gempa not to tell Halilintar anything, but Gempa couldn't care less this time. He just wanted to be relieved, he didn't want to keep this painful secret anymore.

Just when Gempa was about to tell Halilintar everything, Solar pushed open the balcony door, with no apology on his face. He just looked at Gempa for a while and said he had something to do with him.

Halilintar's slightly frowned eyebrows expressed his dissatisfaction. Gempa was almost about to tell him everything, but Solar suddenly appeared on the balcony and stopped him, as if he did it deliberately. Maybe Solar even over heard the conversation just now.

Halilintar didn't know whether or not Solar over heard the conversation between him and Gempa, but it didn't matter. Even if Gempa didn't tell him, Halilintar could find out everything they wanted to hide in his own way.

Solar and Gempa walked in the corridor on the second floor. The corridor usually only needed to run a few steps to get near the stairs, seemed to be stretched suddenly. The house was only the size of a palm and there’re many things, but now it’s particularly empty. Gempa didn't know where this feeling came from. He only felt the pressure from Solar.

"Thank you."

Gempa tried hard to smile, but Solar didn't seem to appreciate it.

"You almost told him. If you don't feel well, take a rest Gempa."

Solar saw through Gempa's efforts to pretend that he’s fine. He saw Gempa's fatigue. He could only force Gempa to rest because Gempa couldn't fall collapse yet.

"I know Solar, I know."

Solar didn't know which part of the sentence Gempa was talking about, but no matter what, Gempa was almost bewitched by Halilintar and almost made the same mistake again.

"I thought it would be different this time... because he isn’t our Hali... but what if he also... never mind, I shouldn't say such things."

Solar went out for a walk with Gempa, maybe a small walk would make him feel better, at least it works for Solar.

"Gempa..."

Solar had thought about it too, but the price of losing Halilintar was enough to make him retreat. He didn't want to see anyone leave in front of him, especially his brother.

"You know what? Blaze said he’s very strong, stronger than Hali, more than twice as strong... I thought he’s exaggerating at first, but when I talked to him..."

Gempa suddenly stopped and turned to look at Solar.

"I felt a strong sense of oppression, just like the elemental power itself. I can't describe the feeling."

Gempa lowered his head and looked at the floor. Countless scenes with Halilintar flashed through his mind. Those were his most precious memories and the reason why he had been still struggling to find a way out until now.

"Hali is very gentle. Although he’s a little cold, not as much. It's more accurate to say that he has a slow-warming personality. Their personalities are also similar, but... Solar, he’s different. He’s different from Hali. That Halilintar may even be stronger than the seven of us combined... I want to take a gamble, please."

Gempa's voice was filled with pleading. Solar just looked at him. He didn't immediately agree to Gempa, but he also didn't refuse immediately. Instead, he’s thinking about the possibility of success, but he didn't want to take any risks to gamble, especially involving Halilintar.

"Are you sure? What if we fail? We lose him again? Then to be reborn and back to the past again? Gempa, how many times has this happened? Every time you show your softness, you kill Hali. Maybe he can succeed, but I don't want to take the risk."

Solar said what he wanted to say and turned to leave. He walked towards home with a resolute back.

That’s the first time Solar talked to Gempa like this. He never doubted what Gempa said, but this time was different. Every choice made by Gempa led to Halilintar's death, and Solar didn't want to see Halilintar leave them again.

Gempa knew what Solar meant. He just wanted to grasp all the hope, even if it’s just a little tiny bit of it.

He lost Halilintar countless times, but he never thought he will be losing him.

If possible, Gempa even hoped that the person who died wasn’t Halilintar, but himself.

Chapter Text

Secrets will come to light one day.

Halilintar knows this very well.

He watched Gempa and the others avoid him countless times, he watched them whispering something to each other. He’s smart enough, at least not that stupid enough to not see what happened.

Combined with what Blaze said, he could guess that Gempa and the others were all reborn, and they chose to hide it for the sake of the other Halilintar.

Halilintar should have stood aside and watched, but he didn't. He helped the other Halilintar once, so he would help again.

It's nothing, at least it's nothing to Halilintar.

For Halilintar, he can't just ignore it, the other Halilintar deserves better.

He wants to find the truth.

But the clues aren’t easy to find, and the others and Gempa are wary of him. Halilintar is like being blocked by four thick brick walls, unable to retreat or move forward.

In this case, why doesn't he break one of the walls?

Indeed, Halilintar accidentally discovered the truth.

He just thought that there might be clues in their room, so Halilintar broke into their room while everyone wasn’t at home.

He searched around and put things back in place. There’s nothing in the room. Halilintar recalled carefully, fearing that he would miss any details.

Since there were no clues in the room, Halilintar planned to go to the laboratory to have a look, but before leaving, he remembered that there was a laboratory at home specially built for Solar. Although it wasn’t big, it was enough for him.

Halilintar turned the door handle of Solar's laboratory door and gently pushed the door open. What caught his eyes were the piles of papers on the table and notebooks.

Halilintar looked at it casually, then picked up a notebook from the table and opened it.

The notebook was filled with dense formulas, various annotations, various experimental inferences, page after page of handwritten notes, and a lot of content that Halilintar couldn’t understand at all.

He looked at the data above and had a bad feeling.

He opened the other notebooks, and the data inside was almost the same, just like a notebook used to try experiments to find out what went wrong for some reason.

Halilintar was stunned, and he asked himself what this was, what did these data represent?

Was it the process of trying right and wrong in this endless cycle in order to change the fate of that Halilintar?

Or was this the root of all this ridiculousness?

At that moment, Halilintar only felt that it wasn’t worth it.

He felt that it wasn’t worth it for the other Halilintar, he had loved a group of people who would never understand him.

They wouldn’t understand why Halilintar chose to sacrifice, or why he made this choice.

The ending of fate itself is difficult to change, and the ending of the other Halilintar has long been determined, but this is also his choice, and their approach is undoubtedly to force everything they think on the other Halilintar.

At that moment, Halilintar wanted to question them loudly.

There were all kinds of footsteps downstairs, and everyone was chattering. Halilintar, who’s in Solar's laboratory, was motionless, waiting for Solar or anyone to open the door and come in to find him.

He had only one thought in his mind, questioning them.

As expected, Solar and Duri opened the door and came in. The two were stunned. They looked at Halilintar holding something he shouldn't know, and watched Halilintar slowly walk towards them and waved the thing in his hand.

"Explain it."

He said to the two.

Solar and Duri just glanced at each other but didn't know how to answer. They stared at Halikintar's face for a long time before Solar spoke.

"This is not what you think..."

"Then what is it like?! Solar! You should know better than me, right?!"

Solar was interrupted by Halilintar's voice before he finished speaking. It’s the first time he heard that angry tone. Halilintar wasn’t as calm and confident as before, but angry, extremely angry.

"Hali..."

Duri tried to interrupt. He stretched out his hand to pull Halilintar but was dodged by him. He looked particularly disgusted with him.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

Gempa and others came over after hearing the noise. They looked at the data in Halilintar's hand, turned their heads, and looked at Solar in surprise.

"Hali, listen, this isn’t what you think. We can explain, and why don’t you calm down first?"

"Gempa, don't be ridiculous, okay? Calm down? Look at what I'm holding in my hand and don’t tell me to calm down! I'm not your brother! Do you know what this means? Halilintar's every death and every sacrifice is for you! But what about you guys? What are you guys doing?!"

"Enough!"

Gempa seemed to have had enough. He shouted with all his strength, his eyes were slightly red, and his voice was stained with a little sob. Every word Halilintar just said was so harsh to him.

"You don't understand! Do you know what it feels like to watch the person you love die again and again in front of you?! He’s my brother! He’s the brother of others! He’s our family! He’s the one we love! Halilintar! Do you know how much we hope that it’s us who die instead of him? You don't know!"

Gempa screamed heartbreakingly. This time, calmness had long been thrown out of his mind. Every word he said now was telling the thoughts buried in his heart, or what everyone thought.

Halilintar just listened quietly. He looked at Gempa. The other person's appearance was completely different from what he thought of Gempa. Perhaps after experiencing so much, people will change.

"And..."

Ais, who was standing quietly behind everyone, suddenly spoke. Like Gempa, his voice was also stained with tears and a little choked.

"You’re also...Halilintar."

"You’re also our brother, Gempa's brother."

Not long after Ais finished speaking, Blaze immediately responded to his words. He’s sincere this time, and this sentence came from his heart.

Halilintar once told him that he’s also his brother, and Blaze always treated him as his brother.

Because he’s Halilintar.

"Heh."

But these words didn’t have any effect. Halilintar just sneered and tore up the data in his hand.

"Then I'm really sorry, I am not Halilintar who’s manipulated by you all, and I’m not your brother."

Halilintar's words seemed to overturn everything he said before, making everyone once again understand that he wasn’t their Halilintar.

Halilintar pushed everyone away and strode out of the laboratory, but before that he paused and turned his head to look at others.

"You know what? I'm really glad that I made this ridiculous decision to "swap lives", because in this way, the other Halilintar can know that he deserves to be loved."

After that, Halilintar went down the stairs and went to the entrance to put on his shoes.

Then with a click, the door lock turned, then with a bang, the door was slammed shut.

At this moment, there’s only silence in the house. Solar and the others had no idea what to do. They just let Halilintar leave without stopping him.

Because everything was no longer necessary, the secret had already surfaced, it’s useless for them to hide it now.

Halilintar was right. They had never understood why their Halilintar made this move. That’s because they were the ones who watched their Halilintar die. On the contrary, Halilintar understood their Halilintar's actions, not only because they’re all Halilintar, but also for other reasons.

But none of this mattered.

It doesn't matter who’s right or wrong now, how to change the past for matter now too, and now bring loved or not doesn’t matter as well.

Because everything has been destined, Gempa and the others can't change it, everything has become a foregone conclusion again.

But maybe this time it will be different.

Chapter Text

There’re only a few people on the street. Halilintar walked on the street that he’s most familiar and unfamiliar with, with his head down, not knowing what he’s thinking.

He unconsciously walked to the place where he first met the other Halilintar. He played Prince Charming with him while rescuing him and dragged him while running wildly, just like acting in an idol drama. Thinking of this, Halilintar smiled slightly.

After walking a distance is where he met the other Halilintar for the second time. Halilintar remembered that he pulled him into the alley, covered his mouth, then pulled him over.

Their memories were short, but precious. Halilintar now thinks of each other when he looks at the things around him.

Halilintar walked aimlessly in the end. For some reason, the sky is a bit gray, and seemed like it’s going to rain, but Halilintar didn't want to care too much about it. Even if it rained immediately, it didn't matter to him.

He remembered that there’s an amusement park nearby. That’s where Halilintar and the other Halilintar went when they first went to hang out. There’s a beach there. Maybe it would be a good choice to go there now.

Halilintar thought so, and there’s another reason... He hadn't seen the ocean for a long time, too long. The last time he saw the ocean was at the family trip a few years ago.

In his memory, there seemed to be a beach in the same place in the original world, but Halilintar never paid attention to it. He’s busy with schoolwork every day and had no energy to pay attention to his surroundings.

Sometimes he’s still on various missions, he couldn't even rest for a few days throughout the year. When he rested, he would just read books and play games to pass the time, then wait for the next mission to get busy.

Day after day, year after year.

Halilintar himself would occasionally get bored, he sometimes will want to be an ordinary child. The only worry he wanted was why he had to go to school, not which power sphera he had to save today, or which planet he needed him for help.

Halilintar walked on the road with his hands in his pockets. The closer he got to the beach, the less people there were. It seemed that it’s because the sky looked like it would rain at any time.

When he arrived at the beach, he found that there’s no one there. There’s only the ocean rolling again and again, and the waves splashed. The sky-blue sea in his impression became a bit gray.

Perhaps, Halilintar realized at this moment that it might not be all blue, because the ocean in front of him was gray.

He once told the other Halilintar that what people see and experience are different, but now seeing this gray ocean... he suddenly found that he seemed to understand the other Halilintar's desire for sea water.

He didn't really want to see the ocean, nor he never saw the ocean before. He just hadn't seen the ocean that Halilintar talked about, the blue ocean, the color as clear as the sky, the color full of joy.

Even if Halilintar is smart and knows himself well, he can’t understand what the world looks like to a person who’s not loved.

Perhaps, it’s the gray in the eyes of the other Halilintar, or the blue in the eyes of Halilintar.

Perhaps the unclear emotion in the eyes of the other Halilintar at that time was caused by this, because the ocean he saw was different from the ocean Halilintar saw.

The ocean breeze blew gently, the slightly salty smell of the ocean water came to his face. Halilintar stood not far from the ocean. The feeling was very strange, which reminded him of the conversation with the other Halilintar a long time ago.

"So, what color is the ocean you saw?"

He remembered the other party asking him this.

Halilintar remembered the details he had ignored, the expression on the face of the other Halilintar.

He’s laughing and crying.

It’s a bitter smile, the feeling of wanting to cry but also not.

But Halilintar ignored it, he couldn’t see or understand the other party's expression.

Even the same person cannot understand their other self, Halilintar has only now learned.

"The ocean I saw at that time... was blue, blue Hali, just like the sky, the morning sky."

This is the answer he gave.

But Halilintar knew that this answer wasn’t accurate, because the ocean at that time wasn’t completely blue, mixed with some other colors.

He thought that the color of the ocean was different, at least in the eyes of different people, but he didn't think the difference was so big.

His answer was like a joke, the color of the ocean wasn’t blue at all, and it would never be blue.

Halilintar only now saw the world in the eyes of the other Halilintar, so desperate, a world full of gray.

There’s no warmth in his world, no one would care about him, which also explained why the other Halilintar thought it would be better if he had never been born.

Halilintar thought about everything he had ignored before, all the details of the time when he’s with the other Halilintar.

For example, the look in the other person's eyes when he looked at him, that kind of unwillingness mixed with jealousy and various desires and happiness, was because he saw something in Halilintar that he didn't have, because he’s glad that Halilintar wasn’t like him.

Another example is his smile. The other Halilintar's smile was never from the heart, as if it’s deliberately pulled out, the kind of look of finding joy in suffering, or maybe he did reveal a smile from the heart before, but Halilintar never carefully distinguished those smiles.

Halilintar found that these details he ignored were the most fatal, and also showed that he had never understood the other Halilintar.

It’s indeed not wrong to understand the other self in the way you understand yourself, but in the same way, the other person is an independent individual, and so is he.

They have subtle differences, it’s these subtle and imperceptible differences that make them unlike each other, with their own personalities, but they’re also particularly similar to each other.

It’s these similarities that make Halilintar mistakenly believe that the other Halilintar is the same as him.

This was a mistake Halilintar made.

The waves at the beach rolled and formed waves one after another. Halilintar walked towards the beach, took off his shoes, and felt the touch and temperature of the ocean water.

The icy cold made Halilintar feel numb.

He walked forward and let the ocean water soak his pants.

It’s completely different from the ocean water in Hawaii. It wasn’t warm, but the ocean water that could pull people into the water, press them, and drown them.

It turned out that everything in their eyes was so different, Halilintar thought silently in his heart.

Halilintar walked deeper and deeper, the ocean water was over his waist, the sweater he’s wearing was also wet. The feeling of the clothes sticking to his body wasn’t comfortable, but Halilintar obviously didn't care.

Finally, the ocean water was over his neck, then his mouth, then his nose, and finally his whole body.

He felt the feeling of drowning, he struggled hard, and Halilintar, who’s usually good at swimming, only felt powerless this time.

The ocean water pressed him down and prevented him from getting up. Even if he tried hard, Halilintar couldn’t swim to the shore as easily as usual.

Perhaps, this is why the other Halilintar is so afraid of swimming.

He’s almost, just a little bit, killed by his beloved ocean water. The feeling of suffocation and the feeling of powerlessness of not being able to call for help were truly felt by Halilintar at this moment.

After struggling for an unknown period of time, Halilintar finally reached the shore. He coughed and his face turned red.

The feeling of water entering his nose wasn’t pleasant. During the process of self-rescue, Halilintar choked on a lot of water. Now, his clothes were all wet, and the wind blew and made him shiver slightly.

Perhaps the current Halilintar can be said to have empathy with the other Halilintar.

He experienced his pain, he experienced his helplessness, he experienced everything about him.

Halilintar also experienced the way that the other Halilintar once wanted to suicide him, which wasn’t pleasant, especially using the ocean that he loved most to do so.

Perhaps the thought of ​​the other Halilintar was to let himself experience the touch of the ocean once before he died, but the cold touch and the gray ocean water weren’t the ocean he thought of.

Halilintar looked at the gray sky and closed his eyes.

The ocean that the other Halilintar would see is as blue as the sky, clear blue.

Maybe he would laugh happily, but these Halilintars could no longer see.

Halilintar hated the people and everything here.

He hated their self-righteous appearance.

But in this way, he could see the world in the eyes of the other Halilintar, the ocean in his eyes, and the sky in his eyes.

They’re never blue, but gray.

The sky of the other Halilintar was always gray.

Chapter Text

It’s literally a mess, a whole, mess.

Halilintar didn't know how he slept until seven in the morning. He looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table and saw the words seven am, dressed crazily fast and went downstairs.

At this moment, Halilintar had only one thought, he’s doomed.

Today’s Monday, so he had to go to school. It’s outrageous that he had just gotten up now.

Halilintar brushed his teeth carelessly, washed his face with water casually, and ran downstairs without tying his tie. If he would look at himself in the mirror, he would find that he looked a whole mess now.

Messy hair, crooked shirt, two socks with different colors, and pants that weren’t the school uniform ones. This is what Halilintar looks like now.

Halilintar just went downstairs and saw his mother and his brother Gempa making breakfast. The smell of bacon and fried eggs made Halilintar's stomach growl.

The two people in the kitchen certainly noticed it.

"Hali? Why did you got up so early?"

Gempa looked back at him after finished speaking, then froze for a moment, and almost jumped up and screamed.

"Ha.....Hali...? You.....look like a whole mess..."

Gempa's tone was uncertain, he looked at Halilintar slightly. He looked at Halilintar's outfit from head to toe, or his appearance, with disbelief in his eyes.

"Mom.....you shouldn’t let Hali go to school today. He looks like he’s beaten by someone and didn't get enough rest after it."

Gempa's eyebrows were slightly wrinkled, his eyes were fixed on Halilintar. Finally, he couldn't help but stepped forward and touched the other's forehead.

"Hali....Are you really not sick? Tell me where you feel uncomfortable."

Halilintar didn't understand what’s going on now. Gempa's behavior made him feel like the world’s going crazy, or that he’s crazy.

Could it be that he ran to some fantasy land?

Wait no.

Suddenly remembered that he seemed to have exchanged lives with the other Halilintar yesterday... That would explain why Gempa was cooking.

"You’re in a hurry, right? Is it because of the alarm clock? It broke a few days ago."

Gempa suddenly thought of a reason. It’s worthy of being Gempa, he guessed half of the reason.

"Uh..."

Halilintar, who hadn't spoken for a long time, didn't know how to respond. He just nodded randomly and lowered his head slightly.

This feeling was so strange that Halilintar felt incredible.

The other Halilintar's family was so lovely, but his own... was a whole mess.

His parents didn't love him, his brothers didn't love him, it seems like no one in the world would love him.

"Gempa, take Hali back upstairs. He may need to rest for a while."

Their mother suddenly spoke making Halilintar stunned. Well, he admitted that he didn’t expect that kind of tone.

Everything here is so gentle and beautiful, as beautiful as a dream. Halilintar hope that he’ll never wake up from this dream.

"I still want to go to school."

Halilintar, who’s pushed upstairs by Gempa, suddenly said this. Gempa sighed. He always knew Halilintar's stubbornness.

"It won't be a big deal to rest for a day."

"But I want to go to school."

"I don't remember when you loved school so much... What's the matter with your dressing?"

Solar, who came out of his room, casually interrupted the conversation between Gempa and Halilintar. He yawned then saw Halilintar's way of dressing clearly.

It’s a visual shock.

"....I...I'll go change and go downstairs."

Halilintar lowered his head and didn't look at Solar, then slammed the door shut.

"What happened to him today?"

Faced with Solar's question, Gempa just shook his head to indicate that he didn't know.

Halilintar took a deep breath in the room. He really couldn't get used to this kind of warmth.

He quickly changed his clothes and went downstairs as fast as he could. He happened to run into Ais, Blaze, Duri and Taufan who’re also going downstairs. The four of them were talking and laughing, they greeted Halilintar naturally after seeing him.

Halilintar tried to calm himself down. He smiled lightly in response, then took and gulped down the water his mother handed him.

Breakfast was bacon and eggs with avocado toast.

Halilintar didn't even know what he’s eating. He just stuffed the fried eggs, bacon and toast into his mouth, but it tasted good, although he couldn't tell which taste belonged to which food when he chewed.

After leaving the house, Halilintar suddenly started to get scared. He’s afraid that someone would play a prank on him, just like how the others did before.

But this fear didn’t last long before it was broken by the screams of girls in the school. The girls around him started screaming and shouting the names of the seven of them as soon as they saw him and his brothers, and screaming Halilintar’s name the most.

Halilintar leaned towards Taufan at a loss. Taufan noticed his discomfort and pulled him to his right, sandwiched him between Solar, Duri, Gempa and Ais.

He thought it was over and it would be a very ordinary day, but Halilintar was wrong. He underestimated the popularity of the other Halilintar.

All the students in the school started screaming and taking pictures as soon as they saw Halilintar. Halilintar, who had never experienced this before, was immediately stunned. He’s pulled away by Gempa or Taufan to help him out for a few times. Now he silently expressed his concern for the other Halilintar.

He’s really strong, Halilintar thought in his heart.

"What happened to you today? If you don't feel well, just go home."

Taufan finally couldn't help but speak. Halilintar's appearance wasn’t abnormal, although it was a little, but it’s more strange than abnormal. He began to worry about Halilintar.

"I'm fine Taufan..."

Taufan obviously didn't believe it. He stared at Halilintar's face and then hugged him.

"I think you need a hug."

Halilintar, who didn't expect the other party to hug him, widened his eyes, then slowly raised his hand to hug Taufan back.

"Thank you..."

The thank you was very soft, but Taufan heard it.

The craziness in the morning was over. Halilintar now fully experienced what the life of the other Halilintar was like.

During lunch, he watched Blaze take out two lunch boxes from his schoolbag and handed one to him, saying that it’s given to him by his mother because he left in a hurry in the morning and forgot to bring it.

"You seem to be in a hurry today, what's wrong?"

Blaze also noticed it.

"If there’s anything wrong, just say it, don't keep it in your heart."

Halilintar nodded in a loss. He had the urge to cry, but he couldn't, at least not here.

Lunch was tomato noodles. Halilintar remembered that the last time he ate his mother's cooking was when he’s really young. He couldn't remember how old he was, because he’s the one who cooked afterwards.

The bowl of tomato noodles was delicious and the taste was familiar. It’s the taste from Halilintar's memory.

This crazy and unusual day ended. After returning home, they did what they should do casually. Halilintar just helped Gempa to prepare dinner.

Their parents would probably come back late. Gempa said that they would probably eat in advance.

"Okay, Hali, you can leave now. I'll take care of the rest!"

Gempa said confidently. Of course, he often helped to cook, so it’s no problem for him to make dinner in advance.

But it was this action that made Halilintar want to cry. Perhaps the thought was too strong. He burst into tears in an instant, he didn't even realize that he’s crying.

"Ha....Hali...?!"

Gempa wiped Halilintar's tears in a hurry. Others also came into the kitchen after hearing the sound. They wanted to tease Halilintar when they saw Halilintar crying, but later they found something wrong and hurried forward to comfort Halilintar.

Everything here’s like a dream, a dream that Halilintar never wanted to wake up from.

But everything here didn’t belong to him, but to the other Halilintar.

He wanted to ask, what would they do if they found out that he wasn’t their Halilintar?

Halilintar wanted to ask this question now, but he didn't dare. He’s afraid of losing everything he had now, even if it didn't belong to him.

He wanted to be selfish once, just once, that's all.

Chapter Text

It’s too obvious, or way too obvious.

Solar knew that Halilintar, the current Halilintar, was trying hard to pretend to be his Halilintar.

But the flaws were obvious.

He’s easily shy, would blush constantly when others praised him. He would also blush when someone confessed to him, and his brother Halilintar wouldn’t have these.

Maybe it was strange, but no one tried to expose him.

But Solar discovered something.

That Halilintar always looked nervous, as if he’s afraid of something, as if his life would end if he made a wrong step.

Solar guessed that he’s afraid of being discovered that he wasn’t the original Halilintar.

Of course, it’s understandable.

A person suddenly replaced another person who’s exactly the same as himself, and he enjoyed everything about that person, of course he’ll afraid of being exposed.

Solar asked about this at the dinner table.

Halilintar's expression that time was very abnormal, it can be said to be colorful, Solar was wondering if his brother would also show this kind of expression.

After all, he rarely saw this kind of expression.

"Um... I'm... sorry..."

Halilintar wanted to try to explain, but he didn't seem to know where to start, in the end, he only had an apology.

Solar just watched and said nothing.

After a long time, Solar seemed to think that he had gone a little too far, after all, the other party's expression looked like he’s about to cry. He drank a sip of the coffee Halilintar had given him before, and slowly spoke.

"You don't have to apologize."

Solar didn't look at Halilintar, perhaps because he was afraid that he would cry if he looked at him.

But... seeing Halilintar cry... wait, he didn't seem to have seen it before.

"Of course, what I mean is that this thing is most likely not your idea, and... we knew it from the beginning. You and him are very similar, but... there are still some differences in essence. No matter how similar you are, there’ll be some differences. We all know him too well."

Solar looked up at him this time. Halilintar's expression was frozen between surprise and confusion. There’s no sign of tears falling from the corners of his eyes. He seemed to have been looking at Solar all the time, as if Solar was the one who did something wrong.

"Aren't you... Mad?"

This was the first sentence Halilintar said after he came to his senses.

His words made Solar a little puzzled. It seemed that he should be mad. It seemed that not being mad and not questioning wasn’t what Halilintar wanted.

"Why should I be mad?"

Solar asked him back, very casually, so casually that Halilintar didn't know how to answer.

Should he say that he had thought of various situations, but not this type of situation?

Solar wasn’t mad. This situation wasn’t within Halilintar's imagination at all. Or, it’s inevitable that everyone would be made after this matter was exposed, at least for Halilintar.

"Uh... because... because I replaced your brother?"

"Replace? What are you talking about?"

Solar was a little puzzled. He looked at Halilintar and tilted his head slightly. Halilintar looked around, but not at Solar.

"Hali has told us about you a long time ago. Of course we won't be mad about it. Besides, even if he didn't tell us, it's okay, because everything he did has his own reasons, we won't interfere too much."

That's trust.

Halilintar found that the other Halilintar seemed to have the momentum to solve any problem, no matter how difficult it was, he could solve it.

Even making a decision didn't matter, as if there’s always a way back.

Now Halilintar understood why this was the case.

It’s due to trust.

The other Halilintar trusted his brothers a lot. Similarly, the others also trusted him, trusted that he could handle all this, trusted that he could make the choices that he could be responsible for.

That's why the other Halilintar said "Let's exchange" so easily.

"Is that so..."

Halilintar, who had figured it all out, just replied to Solar lightly.

"So."

Solar paused and looked at Halilintar's face.

That face was exactly the same as his brother Halilintar's. To be honest, they all looked exactly the same.

"Enjoy everything here, Hali. No one will blame you for anything, whether it's replacing the other Hali or for some other reasons. No one will blame you."

Solar smiled at the end, as if he’s thinking about something very interesting.

"Oh, by the way, we don't eat humans either, don't look like you're afraid of us."

Halilintar, who’s originally very touched, blinked in confusion when he heard Solar's last sentence, then Solar was amused by his appearance.

"Uh... I just..."

"Huh?"

"I just... just... I'm afraid of being exposed so..."

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Please stop laughing Solar..."

Halilintar sighed as he watched Solar laugh. He turned around and tried to block out Solar's laughter with the sound of cutting vegetables.

He had been making curry since just now.

Halilintar was cutting onions at this time. The unique smell of onions made him want to cry, but now he couldn't tell whether he wanted to cry because of the onions or because he’s well accepted by others.

He had never been treated like this before.

No one could accept his existence well. Halilintar's existence was like a mistake, a mistake that no one wanted to admit, a mistake that everyone wanted to cover up.

But here, he’s well accepted, like a normal person, and everyone greeted him with a smile.

Tears dripped onto the chopping board, Halilintar realized that he had shed tears, and he didn't know when his hand was cut.

"What's wrong?"

Solar seemed to see his tears, stood up, and wanted to take a closer look.

The sound of the chair being pulled away echoed in Halilintar's ears. He turned to look at Solar and didn't realize that his tears now were like a downpour and couldn't be stopped.

Solar raised his hand to wipe away his tears. To be honest, he couldn't describe this type of feel.

"What’s wrong?"

The usual arrogant tone had long disappeared. From the beginning of the conversation, he found that Halilintar was a person who could hide his inner thoughts, but also a person who couldn't.

"It's like this when cutting onions."

He lied, he lied again.

"Do you think you can fool me? Hali, you’re so too innocent on this."

Solar changed back to his usual tone. He raised his hand and pinched Halilintar's shoulder, then looked at him intently.

"Listen, I told you to enjoy everything here, so your main task is to laugh Hali, laugh, not cry."

Solar hugged Halilintar after he finished speaking. He rarely did this. Solar himself felt strange, but this feeling didn’t last long. Soon the hug was filled with Solar's own emotions, which were warm and gentle emotions.

Halilintar slowly raised his hand to hug Solar back, but he could clearly feel his fingers trembling. He didn't know how he did it in the end, and he could even hug Solar in the end.

Then, he cried without hesitation.

There’s only crying sound echoing in the kitchen. Halilintar cried loudly, as if it’s his first time crying.

Seeing Halilintar like this, Solar just hugged him tighter. He had never seen Halilintar cry before, whether it’s his brother or the Halilintar in front of him, this was his first time.

He’s actually a little overwhelmed.

Halilintar looked as if the long-suppressed emotions had suddenly burst out. Solar didn't know how to comfort him or where to start.

Perhaps from this moment on, Halilintar accepted the fact that he’s beginning to be loved, and also accepted the fact that he wasn’t loved before.

Halilintar hugged Solar and cried, like a child, as if Solar was the older brother and he’s the younger one.

Didn’t know how long Halilintar have cried, Solar's shoulder was wet, but fortunately the crying became smaller and gradually turned into sobbing.

"I'm sorry..."

Halilintar apologized habitually, he let go of Solar, turned around and continued to make curry.

"It's fine."

That’s the first time someone told him it’s fine. Halilintar's tears, which had just stopped, wanted to flow down again. He raised his hand and quickly wiped away the tears that were about to fall.

After that, the two of them quietly did what they were supposed to do in the kitchen. Finally, when the curry was cooked and served, then they started to looked at each other.

"Thank you, Solar."

Halilintar said with a slight smile.

"Thank you."

Chapter Text

At night, eleven nineteen, Hawaii.

Halilintar looked at the fireworks and the beach that’s full of people, completely at a loss.

He didn't even know how he got here.

An hour ago, when he was still in Malaysia, at four o'clock in the morning, he’s pulled up by Gempa with Ochobot beside him, seemingly waiting for him to get up.

Halilintar was half asleep, he brushed his teeth slowly, put on a set of clothes from the closet casually, then rubbed his eyes to find Gempa.

Before he asked why he’s up so early in the morning, Gempa stuffed something that might be bread into his mouth and pulled him away.

The original wooden floor became soft at some point, Halilintar opened his eyes and found that it was sand, the sand on the beach.

The quiet home became noisy, with cheers, fireworks, and various music. Halilintar looked at everything around him blankly, and Ochobot behind him closed the portal early to recharge.

Gempa didn't seem to care. He pulled Halilintar to the place they had reserved, ordered two drinks and some significant dishes, then started to eat breakfast, oh no, it should be a midnight snack.

"What's wrong?"

Gempa saw that Halilintar's mind wasn’t on anything, and was in a state of confusion. He didn't seem to understand why he’s in Hawaii.

"We..."

"In Hawaii."

"Why..."

"To see the ocean."

Gempa said it very lightly, just like reminding Blaze not to add too much milk when eating cereal in the morning.

"See... the ocean? At this time? What about the other's breakfast? Will mom and dad worry about you? How are we going to get back? I..."

Before Halilintar finished what he should say, Gempa made a "stop" sign with his hands, drank a sip of the drink, then took a deep breath and smiled slightly and began to answer Halilintar's questions.

"First, time isn’t important. Second, the others have their own ways, right? Third, I told them last night in advance. Although they’re worried about you... but I promised them about it. And last but not least, I can contact Ochobot."

Gempa took a breath after speaking a long paragraph in one breath. He held Halilintar's hand and squeezed it with some strength.

Gempa's hand was very warm, as warm as the warm sun in summer, making Halilintar unconsciously want to get closer to him.

"Worried about... me...?"

These words were particularly strange to Halilintar.

He’s an outsider, isn’t a part of this family, so worrying about him wasn’t something Halilintar expected.

"Yea, they’re worried about you."

Halilintar felt it from the first few days after he came.

The parents of the other Halilintar were gentle. They would care about him and ask him what he liked and what he doesn’t. Obviously, he and the other Halilintar were the same person, but they’re afraid of missing out on some differences that would make him feel uncomfortable.

The sound of fireworks was like Halilintar's thoughts, exploding in his mind, then nothing was left.

"Now, let's eat."

Gempa changed the subject. He knocked on Halilintar's plate and motioned him to eat the food on the plate.

"Ok."

Halilintar's answer sounded muffled. Gempa then rubbed his hair, the hair that’s originally well-organized became messy.

Gempa's action made Halilintar slightly stunned. He looked up and met the pair of brown eyes.

"Let's go to the ocean after eating."

"Okay."

Halilintar smiled obediently and quickly finished the food on the plate.

Is it good to be selfish?

He asked himself.

Gempa was so gentle. Unlike his brother Gempa, he wasn’t so cold. He’s as warm as the afternoon sun, which made Halilintar want to get closer to him.

After breakfast, or supper, the two of them walked on the beach. Although neither of them spoke, but the atmosphere was particularly gentle.

The waves splashed again and again, and Halklintar was fascinated. As he walked, he got closer and closer to the ocean.

The warm hand touched him and brought Halilintar back to his senses. He turned his head and saw Gempa's gentle brown eyes.

"You’re too close to the ocean."

Gempa spoke at a moderate speed. He gently took Halilintar's hand and pulled him to a place that’s a bit more outside.

"Ah, sorry I..."

"You don't have to apologize, Hali. This isn’t a big deal."

Gempa interrupted Halilintar's apology. He didn't look at the other person when he said it, as if it didn't matter.

"Let's go over there and sit for a while."

Halilintar let Gempa drag him, which reminded him of the time when he first met the other Halilintar. The other party also dragged him while running wildly, but this time it’s Gempa who led him, and he also didn't run.

Gempa's back overlapped with the other Halilintar just now, which made Halilintar stunned for a moment, then shook his head to see clearly that the person in front of him was Gempa.

"I specially checked the place in advance. The scenery here is the best. You can just see the ocean clearly in this area."

Gempa gestured while pulling Halilintar to sit down. Halilintar looked at his face and thought of his brother Gempa.

Remember that his brother Gempa would talk to him when he’s a child, they had a very good relationship, but didn’t know when Gempa began to alienate him and became indifferent to him, Halilintar didn't even know the reason himself.

He used to want to know the reason, but now he doesn't.

Because it doesn't matter anymore.

Halilintar turned his head away, trying to get out of Gempa's sight, but Gempa still noticed the action.

"What's wrong? Are you crying?"

Gempa's worried tone came, he tilted his head and leaned closer to see Halilintar's expression, but was blocked by Halilintar's hand raising.

"What if I say I'm laughing?"

"Then I believe you."

"I'm laughing."

He lied, he lied again.

This isn’t the first time, whether it’s the other Halilintar asking or Gempa asking, he didn't have enough courage to tell the truth.

Gempa's sight were way too unnoticeable, although he said he believed what Halilintar said, but Halilintar didn't look like he’s laughing.

"I'm lied to you, I cried."

He finally chose to tell the truth.

"I know."

Gempa didn't say much, it seemed that he’s just waiting for Halilintar to tell the truth himself.

"You shouldn't believe me Gempa."

"I know Hali I know, I know you lied."

"Then why did you still choose to believe me?"

Just like how the other Halilintar believed me.

This is what Halilintar wanted to say, but he didn't say the second half of the sentence, but Gempa knew his mind and what he wanted to say.

Gempa's comfort was a warm hand that grabbed Halilintar's hand, squeezed it slightly, then held Halilintar's hand.

"Because."

Gempa didn't say anything else. He paused, seemingly thinking about what to say next. He looked up at Halilintar, but not just at Halilintar.

"Because you’re Halilintar, because, you are Halilintar."

This sentence means a lot, at least to Halilintar.

That’s the first time he’s recognized by someone. His existence was denied from the beginning to now being completely recognized. During this period, he didn't know what he had experienced.

Gempa told him that he deserved to be loved because he’s Halilintar his brother Halilintar, and because he’s Halilintar, an independent individual, a free individual. Because he’s Halilintar, he deserved to be loved.

That’s the first time Halilintar took the initiative to hug someone.

Ever since crying on Solar's shoulder last time, it seemed that crying in front of others wasn’t shameful for Halilintar. He learned to speak out his thoughts so that others could understand him better.

Halilintar hugged Gempa and cried. Gempa comforted Halilintar like how he comforted his brother Halilintar before. He helped him to calm down and finally rubbed Halilintar's fluffy and soft hair.

"Hali, we’re all here."

"Yeah!"

The tears in the corners of his eyes hadn’t been wiped away, but the smile on Halilintar's face was particularly bright.

Now he can answer the questions he had asked countless times before.

The ocean isn’t just gray, it can be blue, or brown, just like Gempa's eyes.

Chapter Text

"I used to hate Hali."

Taufan licked the ice cream. The ice cream melted more easily when the weather is hot, then finally got all over his hands.

Halilintar sat next to him. The two of them were helping out in Tok Aba's cafe. It wasn’t busy now this time of the day, so they made ice cream to reward themselves, but in fact was Taufan wanted to eat ice cream.

Hearing the other party's words, Halilintar felt surprising. He could only say that he didn’t expect such words to come out of Taufan's mouth.

It’s surprising, but it would be surprising for anyone here.

"Why?"

Curiosity drove Halilintar to ask, he turned his head to look at Taufan who’s concentrating on the ice cream, and didn’t notice that the ice cream in his bowl was gradually melting looking like it’s a bowl of soup.

"Well, because..."

Taufan paused, turned his head and looked at Halilintar with a smile, as if saying "You took the bait?", looking like a child who had successfully played a prank.

"He always thinks he can solve any problems by himself. He’s always so independent and doesn't understand how to rely on others... For example like us, he’s... like a child trying to act like an adult. He’s obviously very fragile inside, but he pretends to be strong and lock up everything in his heart."

"Lock... up?"

This seems to be the first time Halilintar has heard someone evaluate Halilintar like this.

In his perception, the other party is strong, confident, and at ease, which is completely opposite to Taufan's description. Maybe he just doesn't know the other Halilintar well enough.

The two of them don’t know each other well enough.

"Yeah, Hali doesn't like to talk about his own things. Sometimes you need to use a tough attitude to make him speak out, but we don't like this method actually.”

Taufan seemed to finally notice that the ice cream on his hand had melted and it got on his hands. He started looking for a tissue, but it’s too late. His hands are sticky after wiping them, and apparently he had to wash them.

"Ahhhhhhhhh... It’s all over my hands... What ever, I’m go to wash my hands later."

After talking to himself, Taufan sighed, then just turned around and saw Halilintar holding the wipes from Tok Aba’s coffee table, telling him to use it to wipe his hands.

"Thanks! You helped a lot, Hali!"

"It's nothing."

Halilintar shook his head. It felt weird that he could get thanks from others every time he did something small. It can be said that Halilintar wasn’t used to others saying thank you to him, after all, no one had ever said it to him before.

"He... doesn't like to talk about his own things?"

"Well, because Hali sensitive with privacy, to put it in his words, "interfering in other people's affairs is impolite", but usually he hides things that require someone to fight side by side with him or accompany him, and he can't handle it alone."

"I think he can."

Halilintar lowered his head to look at his shoes.

It’s a pair of black leather shoes. They’re bought by Gempa the day before yesterday when he went to the beach in Hawaii then went shopping for clothes. Halilintar stared at them for a while and remembered that he had seen those shoes in the other world. It’s a pair of beautiful black leather shoes.

Gempa asked him if he liked the shoes that time, but Halilintar was way too embarrassed to say that he liked them, so he shook his head instead. But after done with buying the clothes, he found that Gempa had bought the shoes.

Gempa said if you like them, you should say it out loud and shouldn’t feel embarrassed about it.

"You can tell me anything, Hali."

Gempa was carrying a shopping bag with clothes, Halilintar subconsciously took it, but found that the other party didn't move but looked at him strangely.

"Sorry, it’s an habit.”

Halilintar quickly lowered his head to avoid contact Gempa. He wasn’t like the other Halilintar. It seemed that it had become his habit to subconsciously please others, but everyone in this world didn't need it.

"Hali, listen."

Gempa free one of his hands to hold Halilintar's, that hand has red marks made by the shopping bag, making Halilintar cautious when touching it.

"Habits are the easiest thing to change."

Taufan's words seemed to be a response to Gempa's words.

"Habits are the most easiest thing to change."

Halilintar was still looking at the tip of his shoe. Taufan stood beside him, lowered his head and wiped his sticky hands, muttering to use a bowl to eat ice cream next time. After a long time passed, he replied to what Halilintar had just said.

"I know."

Taufan threw the used wipes into the trash can closest to him, turned around and sighed that his hands were finally not sticky anymore.

"But Hali, changing habits is easy to do so, but it’s also difficult."

Taufan patted Halilintar's shoulder, not hard, but still made the other's body move slightly.

"Of course, it's okay to have habits that can't be changed, because there’ll always be someone who will go out of their way to adapt to your habits."

This sentence is like describing the relationship between Halilintar and others now. His subconscious apologies and flattery, his cautiousness and sensitivity to the actions of the people around him are all treated well by everyone.

Everyone around him is slowly catering to his habits, so that he can get along with them at ease.

But Halilintar can also clearly feel that it's more than that.

His habits have also changed during this period. For example, he’ll not subconsciously think that what he does is a matter of course, nor will he subconsciously apologize immediately. Although there’re still many habits that remain the same, but these small changes cannot be ignored.

"But this can't change the fact that I hate him, or more clearly that I hate his habits."

Taufan's words suddenly pulled Halilintar back to his thoughts, but at the same time made him confused.

"Why?"

"Well... after all, he didn't tell us anything, which made us worried. I hate this feeling of being anxious but not knowing what to do, which you can only wait for the other person to speak out when they want to.”

"Oh.”

Taufan's reason is indeed reasonable.

Halilintar is this kind of person, or both Halilintars are this kind of people.

They’ll not take the initiative to talk about their own worries, but one has someone who is worried about him, and the other doesn’t even have the qualifications to be worried.

"But I think most of the time Hali can always make up his mind, just like we suddenly exchanged lives and you weren’t surprised about it, and quickly accepted the fact that "Hali isn’t the original Hali anymore!" "

Taufan laughed after hearing Halilintar's words, slowly squatted down, and then knocked hard on the floor.

"Don't laugh, most people would be scared to death if they encountered such a thing, right?"

Halilintar said speechlessly, he crossed his arms in front of his chest, closed his eyes and sighed.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha we’re not some ha ha ha ha ha ha ha normal people anyways ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. Sorry it’s really funny ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, your tone is really funny ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, “Hali isn’t the original Hali anymore!” ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

Taufan tried to explain while laughing hard. Halilintar looked at him, who’s lying on the ground, unable to stand up while holding his stomach. He wasn’t sure whether he would be out of breath in the next second because of laughing too hard.

"Ha ha, well this incident didn’t happen suddenly. Hali said it before, so don't worry too much."

"Solar also said this."

"He told you? When?"

Taufan suddenly approached with curiosity, which scared Halilintar. He took a small step back and let Taufan and him have a certain distance before speaking.

"Well, about... two weeks ago? I don't quite remember.”

Taufan looked at Halilintar who’s trying hard to recall when the talk happened, put his hands on his waist to say that it didn't matter if he couldn't remember. After all, it wasn’t important.

The two packed up their things, not thinking that they would chat until it’s time to go home. It should be said that today was particularly chill. Usually Tok Aba's cafe would be busy all day long.

"I still want to partner up with you next time. After all, it is rare to be so chill when helping out at in Tok Aba’s cafe. It’s definitely the good luck you brought to me Hali!"

Halilintar laughed at what Taufan said. To him, the other party was talking nonsense.

"Okay, okay."

After wiping the last plate and putting it back in place, Halilintar ran to Taufan who had packed up and was waiting for him to go home together.

"Do you want to eat ice cream on the way?"

“Forget it, you won’t be able to eat dinner after it.”

"That’s true."

Halilintar's reminder saved Taufan from being scolded by Gempa. Every time after he helped out in Tok Aba's cafe he would buy some ice cream to eat, which resulted in him being unable to eat dinner after returning home. This was the first time he realized the problem.

"Oh, also."

As if he suddenly remembered something, he turned to look at Halilintar again and shook his head gently.

"Although I always say that I hate Hali's habits and stuff, but I have never really hated him."

And of course, Halilintar has always been clear about this deep in his heart.

Chapter Text

After returning home with Taufan, Halilintar sat on the sofa, watching the TV he use to like, but his mind wasn’t on it.

He’s thinking, thinking about Taufan's words.

He knew very well what the other Halilintar was like. He’s strong and omnipotent. These words were more suitable for him.

On the other hand, he’s weak and incompetent, and he’s completely incomparable to the other Halilintar.

But the faint sadness on him surprised Halilintar.

Can the loved one... also feel sad?

Halilintar really didn't understand where the sadness came from, but he saw the sadness buried under the calmness very clearly. At first, he thought he’s wrong about it.

The other Halilintar sometimes showed that kind of expression.

Halilintar didn't quite understand the meaning of that expression, whether before or now, but maybe he would understand it a little now. He now understands that Halilintar better.

The person he’ll never become.

The funny scenes on the TV show weren’t as funny as before. The living room was really quiet now, maybe he should go to sleep.

Halilintar closed his eyes and felt a little bit of tiredness. Maybe he’ve over worked himself in Tok Aba's cafe today, but then he thought about it carefully, he and Taufan didn’t do anything actually.

After turning off the TV, Halilintar got up to get a glass of water, and then opened the refrigerator for some reason and found mint chocolate ice cream.

That’s the brand he usually gets. He’s a little surprised that there’s mint chocolate chip ice cream in there.

In the past, there’s only strawberry ice cream at home since Duri liked it and other people also liked strawberry ice cream, so there’s never mint chocolate chip ice cream in the refrigerator.

He had forgotten how long he hadn't eaten mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Halilintar slowly took the ice cream out of the refrigerator and then scooped a few spoonfuls.

Ice cream would be better with coffee, but this time period of the day... he maybe shouldn't be drinking coffee.

The taste of mint spread in his mouth, mixed with the sweetness of chocolate. Halilintar closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Who’s this ice cream for?

Who bought this ice cream?

Halilintar didn't know who he’s questioning at now, maybe himself, or maybe the Halilintar who isn’t here.

The things left by the other Halilintar were telling Halilintar that he could also be loved, because the two of them were so similar, and Halilintar could always see himself being loved in those items with traces of love.

Halilintar walked to the sofa while eating ice cream, then sat down, picked up the remote control on his left hand, turned on the TV again.

Watching the funny show on TV, sitting on the sofa while eating ice cream, this kind of leisure time seems to be rare, or actually, Halilintar doesn't even have time for himself.

Busy every day worrying about everyone, he has lived his whole life for others, now he doesn't even know what he wants at all.

He actually doesn't like to eat strawberry ice cream, doesn't like to help Gempa carry shopping bags that he himself may not be able to carry, but he always caters to everyone.

But now he doesn't need to, at least at this moment, he doesn't need to cater to anyone.

Halilintar can freely enjoy everything he enjoys, whether it's looking at the ocean, eating mint chocolate chip ice cream, or watching TV at night, he can use his time as he pleases.

But he knows that all of this doesn’t belong to him, but to the other Halilintar.

But even for a moment, he wants to know what it feels like to be loved.

The wind outside the window blew into the house at some point, Halilintar, who’s sitting on the sofa in short-sleeves, shuddered. He got up to close the window, then sat back on the sofa, thinking about finish eating the ice cream and watching the last episode of the show before going to bed.

The clock on the wall now pointed to half past ten, the surroundings were a little too quiet. It would be noisier than it is now usually, but Halilintar has gotten used to it in the past few days, and it's not bad to be quiet.

As he ate the ice cream, he thought of the other Halilintar.

He missed him a little.

Is that Halilintar doing well?

Thinking of this, Halilintar couldn't help but start to worry.

He’s afraid. He knew his family. Halilintar knew exactly what kind of people they were. They were repulsive and indifferent, they wouldn’t welcome an outsider, not to mention that he’s also a Halilintar.

Halilintar could think of everything that the other Halilintar would face, such as being questioned by Solar, rejected by Blaze, suspected by Gempa, and hated by people around him. Many of these were what Halilintar had experienced himself.

If possible, Halilintar wanted to exchange with the other Halilintar again, tell him that it’s okay, he felt loved, it’s okay he had let it go already.

He also wanted to talk to him, ask him if he’s doing well, if he ate well, slept well, and how’s he doing.

Although these are all relatively daily greetings, Halilintar has almost never had such a daily greeting and such a normal conversation.

As he’s thinking, the ice cream in the bowl was almost gone, the remaining ice cream had begun to melt. Don’t know if it’s due to the temperature is quite high in the house, or due to Halilintar’s warm hands.

There’re at least ten minutes before the end of the episode, and it’s almost eleven o’clock. Halilintar finished the ice cream in the bowl, turned off the TV, and thought about watching it tomorrow. He got up and went to the kitchen to wash the bowl.

After washing the bowl, he drank some water, went upstairs, straight to the bathroom on the second floor to brush his teeth.

Halilintar squeezed the toothpaste slowly, then turned on the faucet and fill the water his own tooth cup.

On his left hand was his father’s hairspray, which was usually in the cabinet. Maybe he forgot to put it back after using it. After thinking about it, Halilintar put it back.

Now he’s very satisfied with the current situation and is very grateful for the suggestion of the other Halilintar.

He wanted to tell him in person, thank him, then as him to hang out with him just like how the other Halilintar did , he also wanted to take the other Halilintar out to play, the two of them can go to the amusement park, stay in a hotel, go to the water park, learn to swim, it would be interesting.

And then, Halilintar can even go to see the ocean.

He would never reject the ocean again.

After seeing the ocean in Hawaii with Gempa last time, he couldn't forget it, thinking about seeing it again, just once, because the ocean was so beautiful, just like what Halilintar longed for.

What he longed for was beautiful, the ocean in the eyes of the other Halilintar, clear, as blue as the sky.

After brushing his teeth and rinsing his mouth, looking at the mirror in front of him, he found that the foam of toothpaste was all around his mouth. Halilintar wiped his mouth with a wet towel and then used another towel to wash his face. After washing his face, he found that there wasn’t much sleepiness left.

But it’s getting late now, he thought it probably past eleven o'clock already.

Sure enough, when Halilintar came out after brushing his teeth, it’s half past eleven, and he should be sleeping now.

Remembering that the lights downstairs weren’t turned off and he forgot his phone, Halilintar ran downstairs to get the phone and turn the lights off, then tiptoed back to his room, lifted the quilt, closed the window, charged the phone, and went to sleep.

Halilintar pulled the quilt in a little bit, wrapped himself in the warm quilt, then exhaled deeply.

Good night, Hali, sweet dreams.

Halilintar said good night to the other Halilintar who isn’t here in his heart.

This seemed to have become his habit. He always said good night to the other party before going to bed, even if the other party couldn't hear it.

He imagined the other Halilintar saying good night to him, wrapped himself in a quilt, smiled, then fell asleep.

After an unknown amount of time, Halilintar was woken up by someone shaking him in a daze. He tried to open his eyes to see who it was, but he’s too sleepy to do so.

"Hali?"

A familiar voice sounded, seemingly from Ais.

Halilintar sat up, rubbed his eyes, and looked at the time. It’s five o'clock in the morning, and today was Sunday. Solar should be the one who’s getting up early to make breakfast. Obviously, Ais being here seem pretty unreasonable.

"Ah Ais, what's wrong?"

While speaking, Halilintar yawned, rubbed his eyes again, then looked at Ais, and slightly closed his eyes almost fall asleep.

"Will you go out and have breakfast with me?"

"Now?"

"Yea, now."

"Sure, wait for me for a bit, I'll be back after I change my clothes and brush my teeth.”

"Okay, I'll wait for you."

After saying that, Ais left Halilintar's room, and Halilintar stared at the place where Ais had stood for a while, then stood up and started to dress and go out for breakfast with him.

Chapter Text

"I'm so sorry to dragged you out so early for breakfast."

Ais stirred his coffee, to speed up the dissolving of the sugar.

"It's fine, I don't really mind."

Halilintar shook his head sleepily. He took a bite of his salmon sandwich. The soft salmon and toasted bread combined beautifully, inside with a creamy avocado and a sunny-side-up egg oozing with egg yolk.

Ais looked like he wanted to talk to Halilintar, but he held himself back.

"Hmm?"

Ais pointed at the corner of his mouth.

Halilintar tilted his head, confused.

It wasn't until Ais pulled out a few tissues and handed them to him that he realized something might be on the corner of his mouth, something he hadn't noticed.

Egg yoke?

The avocado?

Halilintar wiped it roughly. He couldn’t care less about what’s around his mouth, but only if it’s clean.

"There still?"

"No."

Ais smiled slightly. He swapped his cut steak with Halilintar's uncut one, this move made Halilintar don’t know how to react.

"Thank...thank you..."

"You're welcome. It's just that Hali often cuts the steak for me...and since I'm too lazy to do it myself, he always does it for me. Sometimes...I would like to experience what it's like to cut someone else's steak. It's not a big deal, but it's just that being thanked is wonderful, like..."

"It's like a very soft, warm blanket covering you, makes you feel the warmth deep inside in your heart.”

Ais was surprised by Halilintar's description.

His description was apt, wonderful, as if it came out of his mouth so easily, but perhaps it’s something he'd thought about for a long time.

Ais looked at Halilintar, who’s looking down at the cut steak. He carefully picked up his silver fork and stabbed it. The steak, even medium-rare, was still tender and easy to chew.

"I felt like this every time you guys said thank you to me... I'm sometimes flattered, because barely anyone have ever said thank you to me... Hmm... Maybe it's because everything I did before seemed too natural, at least it’s like this in their eyes, and I can't deny that I thought so too... Oh, sorry, I shouldn't have complained about it to you."

Ais shook his head slightly.

"You're wrong, Hali, you're wrong."

"I know. I understand now that nothing is taken for granted..."

"That's not it."

Ais didn't look up, cutting into the steak in front of him, but interrupted Halilintar.

"That's not what I'm talking about. Of course, understanding that nothing is being do by someone naturally is important, but that's not the point."

"Huh?"

"...Actually, Gempa asked me to ask you out... He said you seemed..."

Ais paused, as if he hadn't figured out how to describe Halilintar.

Or perhaps he simply couldn't recall Gempa's words at that time, the words Gempa used to describe Halilintar.

If it were his brother Halilintar... he had countless words to describe him: confident, stubborn, strong, cool, intelligent, courageous, and so on. But the Halilintar in front of him is so different, completely different from Ais's brother.

"Gempa?"

Ais changed the subject a bit too quickly, Halilintar frowned with confusion. Ais who had already put his knife and fork down looked at Halilintar and nodded.

Facing Ais, Halilintar seemed to understand why Gempa had asked him out: to have a heart-to-heart talk.

"Because I'm vulnerable."

Halilintar picked up where Ais had left off.

"Because I lack love, I'm a child who no one loves."

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"You don't seem to understand how to love yourself."

Ais said while nodding, seemingly satisfied with his choice of words.

"You know how to love others Hali. You instinctively help Gempa carry his shopping bags, remind Taufan to eat less ice cream, get flustered when you don't make us breakfast. You're trying to please us, but you're also loving us."

"Is that kind of love?"

"Yes, it is."

Ais smiled slightly, he looked at Halilinter who’s stunned. It seemed like he finally understood the meaning of his actions for the first time.

"But you've never learned how to love yourself."

"Love...myself..."

"Yes, love yourself."

"I don't understand, Ais. I agree with what you said about 'My actions are a form of love,' but I don't understand how I don't love myself. I love myself a lot. I love ice cream, coffee, and the ocean. I really don't understand what’s the point you're trying to make here... I really, really don't understand. I think I know myself very well. I know what I want and what I like, so I really don't understand your idea of ​​'not loving myself.'"

"Knowing yourself isn’t the same as loving yourself."

Ais calmly took a bite of steak and a sip of coffee, then wiped his mouth.

"What's the difference?"

"You know what you need, what you want, what you like, what you prefer, but you never actually do anything about it. It's like you like mint chocolate chip ice cream but you rarely say you like it, right? You like it, but you never say it out loud, never act on it, because you know what that action will lead to, so you let go of the opportunity and try to please others."

"...mhm."

"Sorry, that’s a bit harsh."

"It's okay."

Halilintar smiled bitterly and shook his head.

Ais was right. He simply understood himself, not loved himself.

He loved everyone, trying to get the love he wanted from them. Only now he realize that he could give himself the love he wanted.

He always tried to please others, thinking that would make them put an eye on him. But he’s completely wrong. It was impossible.

No one would ever put an eye on him. He knew that all along.

"I think... you're right... I don't love myself, but I'm trying very hard to love myself now."

"We all know that."

Ais nodded. His blue eyes were calm, unmoved from the beginning, but only with a hint of awkwardness.

It’s as if Ais knew he could make Halilintar understand the meaning behind his every move. The initial awkwardness had long since vanished, replaced by a firmness.

"Is it ok?"

Ais suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Is it ok?"

He repeated it again.

"Is it ok that we try to love you? Is it ok that we love you like we’re a family?"

Ais asked sincerely. He reached out his hand, attempting to touch Halilintar's. The empty plates and cups on the table didn't stop Ais's hand, he touched the still, motionless hand.

"Is it ok?"

The unique warmth of Ais's body radiated from his hand, leaving Halilintar stunned.

Ais's body temperature was low, a bit cool, and Halilintar always imagined it would be comfortable to hug him in the summer.

"Of course, you can treat me like Hali..."

"No."

Ais quickly interrupted Halilintar, gripping his hand a bit tight, his brows furrowed slightly.

"It's true that we love you because you're Halilintar, but we also love you because you're Halilintar. You and he are the same, each a separate individual. Even with very similar personalities, you're still two different people."

Ais spoke with exceptional seriousness, his hand, which had been relaxed, suddenly tightened, but his brows didn't furrow.

"So, is it okay?"

He asked again.

Is it okay?

Halilintar asked himself.

Is it okay to be loved?

Is it okay to be liked?

Is it okay?

Halilintar nodded blankly, making a move before he could even give himself an answer.

Ais breathed a sigh of relief when he saw him nod. He only appeared calm; in reality, he had been unsure from the beginning.

But he had succeeded, successfully convincing Halilintar to give them a chance to love him.

"Yes."

Halilintar only heard himself blurt out the words, driven by instinct, his inner desire.

So what? They weren’t the same person.

He’s Halilintar, and he’s also Halilintar.

If no one loved him, he would love himself.

If someone loved him, he would welcome them openly.

He would be loved, Halilintar thought to himself, and he deserved to be loved.

Even if he wasn’t the other Halilintar.

Chapter Text

"Do you like it?"

A sudden voice from behind startled Halilintar, he froze, unsure how to react.

Only when he felt a touch and pressure on his shoulder made he confirm he’s safe.

Indeed, what type danger could there be in his own little backyard?

It’s just Duri's sudden appearance startled Halilintar, who had been admiring the flowers and plants. But if Halilintar hadn't been so focused on the plants, he would have noticed that Duri had been standing behind him for a long while.

"Did I scared you?"

Duri smiled softly, like the spring sun, or a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

"Ah... no... no..."

Halilintar gave an awkward smile, his eyes meeting Duri's expression, which shone with a hint of apology and a hint of prank success made he blinked.

So it’s just a prank?

He thought to himself.

"Hehe, sorry, Hali."

"It's okay, really."

Halilintar just wanted the topic to drop. Duri clearly didn't want to keep pushing it as well. He glanced at the flowers behind Halilintar and changed the subject.

"Do you like it?"

Halilintar frowned with confusion, then tilted his head to show his confusion growing. Duri simply pointed with his right hand at the sunflower behind him and repeated his question.

"Ah... I really like it..."

Halilintar honestly told him, he does like sunflowers.

To him, sunflowers were beautiful. They always faced the sun. Halilintar interpreted them as being unafraid of the sun's shine. He hoped that one day he could face his own fears.

"Do you like sunflowers?"

"Yes, I do. They're like unafraid of the sun shine, unyielding. They're fearless and brave enough to face anything. Sometimes I wish I could be like that."

Halilintar let out a slight smile, his hand gently caressing the soft petals of the sunflower. Who would have thought that sunflower petals could be so soft, yet so capable of withstanding the sun's harsh shine?

"Oh, I see. I actually really like lotus flowers. They're pink, grow in water. When it rains, the water droplets on the petals make them look so beautiful."

Halilintar wasn't surprised by this answer at all.

Duri was like a lotus flower, very cute, sometimes so cute that you forget he's actually very strong.

The two of them suddenly felt awkward, unsure what to talk about. Halilintar looked down at the tip of his shoe, then back at the sunflowers.

"Does Hali...have a...no, have Hali grown any flowers before ?"

Duri looked up at him, then danced with joy as he described the flowers they'd grown together.

"This tulip ! I bought it for fun and jokingly told Hali I'd give it to him, he actually took it seriously... And this! This rose! I planted some roses for Mother's Day, Hali found out and often helps me take care of it... Oh, and this! This lily! I gave it to Hali! I call them Little Lilies!"

"It feels like you gave them a name as if you didn't..."

"Huh? Hehe, Hali said the same thing too."

"Ha ha ha."

Halilintar smiled, leaning over to touch the soft lily petals.

"I felt like he's a rose."

Like a flamboyant rose.

He's always thought so.

Red, confident, like a rose.

"But I think Hali is more like a lily!"

Duri didn't look at Halilintar's expression. Perhaps no one could imagine that lily would one day be associated with the other Halilintar, so he knew Halilintar's face was filled with confusion.

"Why?"

Unable to resist his curiosity, Halilintar asked. Duri simply chuckled, as if understanding the source of his doubt.

"Because lilies are beautiful, don't you think so? They all say lilies are pure and untouchable, and Hali is just like that. He always helps others without asking for anything in return. He keeps to himself, making people feel intimidated... But Hali is just a sensitive person."

Duri continued to arrange the other flowers. Halilintar looked at him from behind, lost in thought.

"I always thought he’s the kind of person who’s out standing in things and couldn’t care less about other things, but now I realize his gentleness can only be seen through his actions... You're right, he's a gentle person, he's just not so good with expressing himself."

Halilintar tilted his head to look at the lilies beside him. They’re blooming beautifully, well cared for by Duri.

"People who aren’t good at expressing themselves are always misunderstood, but they don't need others to understand them..."

"Because the only person who can understand them is themselves. All we have to do is trust Hali."

Duri suddenly looked up and turned to look at Halilintar. He stopped what he’s doing and continued.

"So, whatever Hali does, we will support him."

"What if it's wrong?"

Halilintar suddenly asked.

What if his decision was wrong?

What if this absurd exchange was wrong?

If...

"We'll still support him."

"Why?"

"Because he's our family."

Duri neatly arranged the potted plants around him. He'd been organizing these pots all along, completely unaware that without gloves, he'd gotten dirt on himself, but he didn't care.

The lilies were given good care by him, day after day, year after year, until his brother, Halilintar, grew tired of them, until one day these lilies won’t exist in this back garden.

The back garden had many flowers: sunflowers, roses, lisianthus, tulips, but those lilies held a special meaning for Duri.

"Just because this? Just because he's your brother? Is that all?"

Halilintar didn't know why he suddenly became angry. Duri was just stating his reasons, but for the first time, he felt angry.

This emotion hadn't appeared in a long time, so long, so long that Halilintar had forgotten he could be angry.

Duri was momentarily startled.

He held a lily in his hand, freshly plucked from a potted plant. Before Halilintar could return his gaze he grab one to gift it to him, but when he tried to give it to him, he’s met with questioning.

The lily fell to the ground as Duri's grip loosened, staining it with dirt.

"Just because that?! Why?! I don't understand?!"

Why?

Tears streamed down Halilintar's cheeks. He clutched Duri's collar, his grip trembling.

"Hali..."

Realizing his own gaffe, Halilintar let go and lowered his head in shame.

Duri picked up the lily, gently brushed off the dirt, and handed it to Halilintar.

"Hali, look."

Duri smiled broadly, cradling the lily in both hands and handing it to Halilintar as if it were a treasure.

"Look, it's a lily."

Halilintar looked up and looked directly into Duri's eyes. Those green eyes were filled with the joy of giving away the lilies.

At that moment, he had his answer.

Because he wasn't him. The other Halilintar would bravely admit his mistakes even when he’s wrong, he always found a way to solve the problem.

Unlike him, he’s constantly running away.

He’s running away from his past, from everything he had. He entrusted himself to others, believing that this would bring him the happiness he desired.

He’s wrong, completely wrong.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Halilintar rushed forward and hugged Duri. His sobbing apology seemed to be addressed to himself, but also to everyone.

"It's okay! Here! Here's the lily!"

Duri happily handed the lily to Halilintar and went back inside to wash his hands.

Halilintar sniffed as Duri left, let out a small smile, then lowered his head to look at the lily.

"Thank you."

he whispered softly.

The next day, when Duri passed by Halilintar's room, he saw him placing the lily he'd given him in a vase. Duri then asked him if he liked lilies.

"Yes, but I still prefer sunflowers."

Halilintar replied with a smile.

He still loved the sunflower's courage to face the sun. As if he had that courage too: he could face his past, he could heal his wounds on his own, and he could rely on no one else.

Halilintar still loved sunflowers, because he felt they’re the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen.

No other else.