Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kon was in love with Bart. It was a fact that he had realized one day, coming as easily as breathing. Bart had done something dumb, with the best intentions, and Kon had gotten angry, before looking at the other boy, standing sheepishly next to Greta, trying his best.

Kon had been struggling with losing his powers, temporarily, and Bart had seen that, and tried to fix it. And so what if he did it by letting loose the worst pranks ever? If Kon had ended up dumped in slime, and eating a spider and so so many other things, because Bart kept getting inspired by stupid comics, and their superhero origins as if that’s a good way to get powers in the real world.

But Bart cared. And. That meant a lot to Kon.

It was the first time that Kon truly did feel totally cared for, even if he did get angry. And by god he was angry, because those were some truly horrendous pranks (not that they were pranks. They were more like… love letters? Did Bart love him back?) and it was going to take ages before he would be able to eat without checking to make sure no spiders were lurking in his food, but. It was sweet. In a way.

Kind of.

Maybe.

Well, Bart tried.

That’s what mattered.

That was just the first time he realized it though. Bart kept. Just. Existing in a way that was simultaneously irritating and yet so incredibly endearing. So, what if they enabled each other?

Bart would follow Kon unquestionably, and God, that was a heady feeling that could go straight to Kon’s head. He didn’t even hesitate to crash land his spaceship on Apokalips. 

And. Apokalips. Jeez. That was the worst. 

Seeing Bart die?

Kon almost would prefer to watch Tana die again than Bart. And he wanted to kick himself when he realized that. Because he loved Tana. Didn’t he?

Anyway.

Then Bart left him. And Kon doesn’t really know that their friendship was quite the same after. Sure Bart came around every now and then, eating their food at the base and stuff. But it was never quite what it was.

Just like Cissie.

And then.

On one of the rare occasions Bart was over, he confined in Kon.

Bart liked Tim. As in, more than a friend way.

And oh.

Tim?

Well, it’s not like Kon could blame him. Tim was incredibly capable, and those green tights didn’t do much to hide his muscles. Oh man, his thighs. Tim was hot, Kon could admit that. 

But also.

Kon liked Bart.

Maybe he could scare off Tim? And then Tim wouldn’t be in love with Bart. It was a perfect plan. Except for the part where Bart would be heartbroken.

Would Bart ever trust him again if Kon did this?

Was it worth it?

No.

No. it wasn’t.

Kon cared too much for Bart to break his heart. 

Not like this.

Not even if Bart broke his heart first.

And it’s not like Kon had never hidden behind a façade before. He spent the beginning of his existence constantly behind a camera, his every action had always been monitored.

Kon knew how to keep calm and carry on.

He wouldn’t have gotten so far if he couldn’t.

But Kon also needed to seek comfort, and he couldn’t go to Bart or Tim for obvious reasons, Greta wouldn’t understand, Cissie… Maybe. Ray was like. An old man or something, he never really felt part of the group. Snapper and Red Tornado were mentors and stuff, and they might be able to help, but also Kon was pretty sure Snapper was a forty year old virgin who probably lived in his mothers basement or something, and Red was a robot that Bart had awoken from hibernation by being annoying. Slobo would probably tell him to punch something.

He ended up knocking on Cassie’s door. He might have cried on her bed. Possibly. Maybe without explaining anything. Cassie ended up picking him up bridal style, and flying him to Cissie and Traya’s boarding school. Greta was already there.

And that’s how Kon ended up at girls’ night. 

Crying about boys.

After he was comforted and stuff (he didn’t want to talk about it, it was embarrassing enough) he redid his own eyeliner, and then did Greta’s, cause she wanted some.

And Traya, although for her he picked a different color than black. Traya was too young for black eyeliner.

She didn’t deserve the looks that would come with that.

Kon had never been too young.

Tana called him “kid” and sometimes Kon wonders if she knew. She was seven years older than what Kon looked like. And closer to twenty three if he were counting actual years she was older than him.

That didn’t matter now though.

Kon was fine.

That was in the past.

This is the present.

Bart would probably hate him if he confessed, and he would hate him if Kon went after Tim to get back at Bart for having a crush, and he would probably hate him no matter which way Kon wanted to spin it.

Then Cassie offered the genius solution of her and Kon fake-dating to see if Bart was maybe jealous?

And yeah, Kon knew that Cassie had a crush on him. It was nice to feel wanted though.

That was all Kon really wanted.

To feel wanted.

Heh.

He was getting over his crush on Bart by dating someone who had a crush on him.

Cassie kept saying things though.

Things that Kon never did.

And ah.

Kon can see what happened.

Cassie liked Match pretending to be Kon.

She never really liked him. That was okay though. He could be an idealized version of himself. It was really all he had ever been.

The only time he had felt truly “himself” was when he was with Bart.

But this was fine. It was.

He could see Cassie changing from a Tomboy with short hair into the fashion of the time with long hair, and more “girly” and he couldn’t help but relate. Kon was growing bitter too. And maybe he should go by Conner more. Wear a T-Shirt and jeans instead of a costume.

Kon scoffed.

As if.

That was a bit further than he wanted to go.

After Kon announced that he and Cassie were dating, Bart set up a double date between them and him and Tim.

How were they already together?

Bart literally confessed his feelings for Tim to Kon the other day.

Bart had always been fast though. Maybe it shouldn’t be such a surprise.

Sitting there, watching the stars, the four of them, Kon… Kon felt like this was the closest he would ever get to being romantically involved with Bart.

And he wanted to cry again.

When Bart asked why his eye’s were wet, Kon told him that he was imagining something sad.

And when Bart told him to just be happy, and carefree, and something something along those lines, Kon couldn’t help but laugh.

Because Kon finally understood.

He would never get everything he wanted.

He accepted that.

And laid down.

Looking out at the stars.

They didn’t offer hope.

That would be okay though.