Chapter Text
It was another annoying, boring day for Dazai as he wandered around the endless streets of Yokohama alone out of pure boredom. He was supposed to be helping his clan of demons track down humans, kill them, then send the bodies to the head chefs so they can prepare lunch and for all of them, but of course, being the lazy guy he is, he didn't want to do that.
As Dazai was wandering around Yokohama in his human disguise, he suddenly spotted a little café he hadn't noticed before and decided to check it out. He strolled into the shop, swinging his arms forward and backwards as he looked up at the menu and went to the counter to order. He then spotted an item on the menu that piqued his appetite and interest, then looked forward at the raven haired lady in front of him, awaiting his order.
"Good morning sir, what can I get for you today?" She said with a sweet smile on her face, looking up at Dazai as she waited for his answer.
Dazai looked down at her and read her name tag that was on her vest, 'Yosano'. He then answered her question, using a chirpy tone. "Hey there! Can I get a slice of strawberry shortcake, please? Ooh, and an iced cap, with cream please!"
Yosano added his order to the register and smiled, typing in the total price. "Sure thing! Your total will be 1600 yen, how will you be paying?"
Dazai checked his pockets, looking for his debit card but not being able to find it. He internally groaned, he forgot his card at home. He then found two 1000 yen bills in his pocket, just enough for his order, perfect. He then took it out of his pocket and handed it to Yosano. "Cash, here you go!"
Yosano took the cash and smiled, putting the 2000 yen into the cash register and then taking out 400 yen in bills, handing the change to Dazai. She then printed the receipt with a number on it and handed it to Dazai, speaking in a casual tone. "Here's the number for your order, it'll be ready shortly"
Dazai took the 400 yen and the receipt from her and nodded, stepping away from the counter to wait for his order. He stashed the 400 yen into his pocket and stared down at the receipt in his hand, waiting.
Suddenly, Dazai got an urge, a very big one. Since he was supposed to be helping the demon clan hunt, but he was slacking off, he hadn't killed anyone yet all day. Demons normally need to kill at least one human each day so that they don't end up killing each other instead because of an urge to kill that they get by the end of the day. The lower ranking demons, and younger ones, don't get these urges that often and can usually last 2-3 days without killing. On the other hand, higher ranking demons, like Dazai, needed to kill every day, or else they get the urge to kill anyone or anything, even if it's only 11 in the morning.
Dazai clutched the receipt in his hand and looked over at the counter, wondering how long it'll take for his order to be ready so he can leave without causing a scene. He internally calculated how long he'll be able to last before the urge becomes unbearable and he kills everyone in this small café. 2 minutes, that's all he has. Lucky for him, his order number was then called 5 seconds after that thought crossed his mind. He went up to the counter and grabbed his food and drink, thanking Yosano, who had also prepared his order.
While he was taking the order from her, he noticed something on her wrist, a tattoo. It was two wings connected to each other, a symbol. Now where had he seen that tattoo before.. he doesn't remember. Dazai then snapped out of his thoughts and thanked Yosano once more before running out of the store, careful not to drop his food or drink.
He ran into an alleyway and sat his food down on the floor next to his drink. He looked around, spotting an emptier street at the other side of the alleyway, opposite from where he entered. He smirked slightly, then sprinted to the other side of the alleyway, spotting multiple humans. He then pulled the one nearest to him into the alleyway he was just in and mercilessly slaughtered him, slitting his throat open. Blood splattered all over the alleyway, and Dazai's clothes, how disappointing. He then brought the next one into the alleyway and did the same thing to her, this time covering her neck with his hand before her blood could get onto his clothes. He went through the same process with 4 more people before piling up their bodies and sighing, the urge was gone. He then marched over to his strawberry shortcake and iced cap, which were luckily not covered in blood, picking them up. He took a small bite of the shortcake and hummed in satisfaction softly, it tasted pretty good.
After a couple minutes, Dazai had finished his shortcake and iced cap, satisfied with the sweet meal. He then glanced at the bodies of the 6 people he killed in the alleyway and sighed, looks like he'll have to carry all of them down to hell with him. Too bad he's physically weak, he can't carry all 6 bodies at once like all the other high ranking demons who could carry up to 15 at once, he can only carry one at a time.
Yes, despite Dazai being one of the highest ranking demons in hell, he wasn't physically strong and had little muscle. The reason he was high ranked is because of his sharp mind and intellect, along with his powerful deduction, manipulation tactics, and more valuable abilities, which made him a powerful asset to the demons, and the devil himself.
Dazai decided he wouldn't want to go to hell and back 6 times to carry all the bodies there, so he decided to give one of his subordinates a call to tell him to take 5 bodies back down to hell while he carries one back himself. He pulled out his phone and dialed his subordinate's number, and after a few short rings, he picked up.
"Hey Akutagawa~ Mind if you come pick up a couple bodies for me and take them down to hell?~ There's only 5~"
On the other end, Akutagawa sighed and then answered, "Sure thing, Dazai-san.. I'll get to it straight away."
"Thanks Aku~" Dazai said, hanging up the call.
Dazai then pocketed his phone and picked up one of the bodies he felt was lighter, carrying it in his two arms as he jumped from balcony to balcony, climbing up the building the alleyway was connected to, getting onto the roof. He then walked across the roof with the body in his arms, humming a little tune as he did so. He walked and hopped from roof to roof, navigating himself to the building that had the portal to the underworld hidden on the roof of it.
As he hopped and walked around, he saw some clouds suddenly light up a bit in the distance. Angels? What're they doing out of heaven at 11:30 in the morning? Dazai frowned slightly at his own thoughts, the angels never showed up before noon at least, unless something bad happened or the angels and demons are clashing again. Oh shoot, are they declaring another battle? That would make it the third one this week.. Ugh, they're so annoying..
Dazai ignored his thoughts, not wanting to accidentally jinx himself and the other demons. Despite being killers, none of the demons liked dealing with the angels' bullshit, it wasted their time. But even so, the devil always made them fight the angels anyways, even if the demons were too tired for anything. But in the end, all the demons always end up in a brighter mood after their battles with the angels, especially if they got to kill any of them, specifically the high ranked ones. Sadly though, most of the high ranked angels never showed up to the battles at all, what a bummer. Dazai once was told that the higher ranked the angel, the prettier their wings are. Angels' wings are already naturally beautiful, a sight to see for sure. But the higher ranked angels' wings are pearlier and sparklier, at least that's what Dazai was told when he was younger. Now that he thinks about it, he never saw a high ranked angel before..
Dazai was pulled out of his thoughts when he saw the building he was heading towards, smirking slightly in glee, he was finally here! Took long enough!
He then stepped onto the roof of the building, but as if on queue, he got a call from another high ranked demon, one of his friends. Dazai sighed, pulling out his phone and picking up the call.
"Hey Nikolai, what do you want?"
His friend Nikolai then answered in a worried and slightly desperate tone, "Dazai! You have to get here quick! The angels declared another battle on us, but this time it's more serious! Boss said that the angels brought their higher ranks today, which means we high ranked demons can't skip this fight like we usually do! Get to my location asap, don't get distracted!"
"K, I'll be there soon, byee.." He said, hanging up. Great, just his luck. Dazai quite literally jinxed himself and all the other demons, just like he had predicted would happen if he didn't shut his thoughts up. And since he was thinking about high ranked angels, of course they end up showing up to the battle today of all days, just because Dazai's thoughts wouldn't shut up. This suckssssss...
Dazai dropped the body onto the roof and used his phone to track Nikolai's location, reluctantly hopping from roof to roof again to find his friend.
Once he reached the destination, his jaw dropped. Before him, he saw what seemed to be over 75 demons, and about 100 angels. Both sides clearly had high and low ranks with them, prepared for battle. The high ranked demons were more buff, tough looking, and were in their demon form, which showed the two black horns on their heads. The high ranked angels were clearly easy to spot. Looks like what Dazai was told when he was younger was true, because the high ranked angels wings were amazing, mesmerizing.. They were a bright pearly white color, not bright enough to hurt your eyes, but not dull to look ugly. They looked.. out of this world, that's one way to put it.
Dazai was so glad none of the humans could see this right now, or else this world would go into panic mode for sure. Imagine seeing what looked to be around 200 angels and demons fighting against each other on 3 very high buildings, it'd be an incredible, frightening sight. Luckily though, no human can see the demons or angels when they're in their original form. But if they're in their human disguise, then yes, humans can see them.
Dazai was then pulled out of his thoughts once more as Nikolai suddenly appeared next to him and tapped his shoulder, startling Dazai slightly.
"C'mon slow poke, stop screwing around and staring at everything like a 2 year old baby who just saw a NASA rocket launch for the first time." Nikolai said with an annoyed stare. Nikolai Gogol, a high ranking demon who was Dazai's friend. Like Dazai, Nikolai wasn't as buff or tough looking as the other high ranked demons, but he still had a lean, healthy frame, and he could definitely carry 15 bodies at once like the other high ranks.
"That was oddly specific.." Dazai said, staring at the older as he then sighed, nodding his head a bit, "But fine, let's get going.."
"Great! Let's go then" Nikolai said, ignoring Dazai's first statement before hooking his arms under Dazai's and lifting his dangerously light friend up, hopping from open window to open window on the very high building, taking both of them to the top where the angels and demons were all standing.
Dazai let himself be carried up, glancing around as he waited for them to get to the top. Once they did, Nikolai dropped him near the middle of the three tall, large buildings the angels and demons were going to battle on.
Dazai stood up, standing with the demons, looking at the angels opposite of him and studying them all. While he was glancing at all their faces, Dazai suddenly saw a high ranked he recognized. The cafe lady, Yosano! I knew I recognized the tattoo on her wrist somewhere! It symbolizes that she's a high ranked angel! I read about it in a book in the library once!-
"Everyone! The battle shall begin in 3.." An angel suddenly shouted, flying above everyone, which brought Dazai out of his thoughts once more.
"2..." The angel continued. Dazai looked ahead of himself, he was standing across a crookedly cut white haired male with the weirdest bangs, but really pretty wings, meaning he's a high ranked. Looks like Dazai will be battling him since they're right across from each other.
"1...." Everyone was in their fighting positions, ready to battle. Looks like it's life, death, or surrender now. To be honest, death sounds the best right now, my death that is... Dazai thought, looking at the white haired in front of him
"Fight!!!" The angel flying above yelled. All of a sudden, everyone pounced, battling the people they were standing across from.
The white haired that was across Dazai stared at him, and Dazai stared right back. Now that he thought about it, this boy looks pretty young, probably around 18.. how sad for such a young boy, he has to battle here against people twice or three times his age, what a pity. Actually, Akutagawa is 20, so it's probably not that big of a deal if they both fought together. It'd actually be entertaining to watch..
Suddenly, the boy pounced at him, driving a punch straight for Dazai's face at lightning speed. Luckily, Dazai saw it quick enough and dodged it, if he hadn't though, he would've probably broken his jaw. Dazai decided he should take this kid more seriously, so he then stepped forward towards him, sticking his arm out, planning to poison the angel with a touch while he wasn't looking. Somehow though, Dazai was unable to lay a finger on the boy since he suddenly disappeared. Dazai fell onto the floor, slowly getting up and wondering where the boy went. He then looked up and saw the white haired flying, and another person he hadn't seen before with him.
Dazai was frozen in place, staring up at both of them, well, mainly the person with the white haired. It was a ginger haired male, who looked to be pretty short, but damn was he majestic. His ginger hair framed his face perfectly, his clear ocean blue eyes contrasting his orange hair perfectly, and his very pearly and white wings flapping slightly in the air, keeping him flying up as he checked if the white haired was ok. Wow... Who's that..? He's so pretty...
As Dazai was lost in thought admiring the angel in the sky right now, he was suddenly hit and blown away with a punch that came square in his back. He moaned in pain as he hit the floor, feeling like his ribcage was just broken or something. He slowly got up, keeping an expressionless face on as he looked around to see who punched him that hard. Instead, the ginger haired angel landed a couple meters across from him, looking at him with a stern expression.
"Hey demon! Don't go fighting kids, bastard. Pick on someone your own size!" The ginger haired said, and his voice left Dazai in a slight daze.
Damn, why does he have to be so fricking attractive.. even his voice.. SHUT UP DAZAI AND THINK STRAIGHT! RIGHT!!
Dazai then snapped himself out of his thoughts and smirked slightly, coming up with something to say. "And is that someone supposed to be you? Because you look pretty tiny to me~"
The ginger haired then glared at Dazai and quickly glided over to him, punching Dazai in the gut, which made Dazai do a double take, hitting his back onto a wall which was on the roof for some reason.
"I'm not tiny, you stinking bastard. And what the hell are you doing here? You look too weak to be a high ranking demon, even the lowest rank here looks stronger than you." The angel insulted questioningly, finding it odd for such a weak looking person to be on a battle field like this one.
"Wow, rude! I'm one of the highest ranked members here, mind you!" Dazai retorted, feigning insulted and hurt at the other's words, when in reality he was secretly having too much fun, even though the two just started fighting and talking.
"Is that so? So is that why you tried touching Atsushi with your hand? To use a poison trick only the high ranking demons can use? Sneaky little bitch.." The angel cursed, glaring at Dazai
"Atsushi? Oh, you mean the white haired kid with the weird haircut? Yea, I did!~ Looks like you've been doing your homework~ And woah there, I thought angels can't cuss!~" Dazai said in a playful voice, a light smirk on his face.
"Of course we can cuss, idiot. Looks like you haven't studied angels at all with the poor amount of knowledge you know." The ginger said before kicking Dazai again, this time away from the wall and to the edge of the roof.
Dazai groaned as he hit the floor, landing on his back, his arm slightly over the edge of the roof. The ginger angel walked over to him, putting one of his feet on Dazai's chest, stepping on him slightly and putting a bit of weight on him. Dazai looked up at him, a smirk on his face, not resisting the pressure. He studied the ginger's face a bit, it looked like he wanted to kick Dazai off of the roof, so Dazai then spoke to him, the smirk still on his face. "Y'know devils don't fly, so don't expect me not to fall if you kick me off this roof."
The ginger looked at him with a slightly confused glance, he wasn't expecting the demon to say that, had he read through his plan? "Tell me, you little bastard, what's your name?"
"Oh?~ The angel wants to know my name~? I feel so special~"
"Just tell me, idiot, if you don't wanna get kicked off this roof right now and die."
"Well as much as I do want to get kicked off this roof and die, I think I want to hear your name first~ Then maybe I'll tell you mine~" Dazai said slyly, a smirk still plastered on his face as he looked up at the ginger who sighed before answering.
"Chuuya Nakahara, now you say yours" Chuuya said, an annoyed glare on his face.
"Chuuya Nakahara, huh?" he said, as if tasting the name, liking how it sounded. "Well, Nakahara, my name's Osamu Dazai~ Pleasure to meet you~"
"Osamu Dazai? That's quite a complex name for someone as dumb looking as you" Chuuya said in a snarky tone, but he actually secretly liked how the brunette's name rolled off his tongue.
"Dumb? If you hadn't realized, I'm one of the smartest people in all of hell!~"
"Then you demons must be way stupider than I thought."
"Wow! You wound me, Nakahara~!"
"Shut it before I kick you off this roof, bastard."
"I'll gladly let you kick me off the roof~ Go on, do it~ I'm waiting~" Dazai said, looking up at Chuuya with a smirk.
Chuuya raised a brow at him, still stepping on his chest, "What the hell? Are you suicidal or something?"
"Wow! Nakahara is studying me! What an honour!~ To answer that, then yes, I am suicidal~! Thanks for noticing~"
Chuuya stayed quiet for a moment at that before suddenly kicking Dazai away from the edge of the roof and to the wall again.
"Oof- stop kicking and throwing me everywhere, would you?" Dazai said, groaning at the action.
"Whatever.." Chuuya mumbled before looking around the roof where almost everyone was still fighting, some angels and demons dead on the ground. "So like.. how does that poison trick only high ranking demons can use? How does it work?"
Dazai giggled, finding Chuuya's intriguement funny. "Oh~? Why~? You wanna get to know me?~ Wow Nakahara, I didn't know you were trying to hit on me when you asked for my name~"
Chuuya gave Dazai a disgusted look, as if he just saw a roach or something [Dazai is a roach, but anyways-],"Ew, I wasn't trying to hit on an ugly little shitass demon like you, I have a girlfriend. Who would hit on someone like you anyways? You look pretty unlovable. So just answer the damn question.."
Dazai doesn't know why, but Chuuya's words hit him deeper than they should've, more than he'd like to admit. The words kept repeating in his head, like a lesson that should be taught and never forgotten, even though he already knows the words are true. And Chuuya has a girlfriend.. of course he does, someone as attractive as him is bound to have a girlfriend.. Despite Dazai's inner conflicts, he kept a straight, unreadable, expressionless face and answered Chuuya's question, his tone no longer playful and smug. "Everyone that holds my hand gets cut from all the thorns, and the thorns have poison in them. Normally, the high ranked demons unlock this poison ability thing and they can control it, but not me. Anytime someone touches my hand, they get cut and poisoned. If it's not a human or animal, then it doesn't work, it only works on humans and animals. Happy now?"
Chuuya stared at Dazai with an unreadable expression, wondering why the brunette's playful tone was gone now. Was it because of what I said about him? Did I go too far? I hope I didn't actually hurt his feelings.. Chuuya thought, hoping he didn't actually accidentally hurt Dazai's feelings. Wait, why would he care about Dazai? They just met, and they're enemies. What weird thoughts.. Chuuya then got back on track to what Dazai said about the poison trick, repeating Dazai's words in his head. He then suddenly felt a bit bad for the brunette. That means he can't touch anyone at all unless he wants them dead.. That's.. lonely. Damn this guys depressing, lonely, and suicidal. What the fuck did I get myself into? Ugh, whatever. "Yea yea, at least your dumbass knew that much to tell me."
"Can you stop stepping on me now? You're heavy. Plus, I don't think your 'girlfriend' would appreciate what you're doing." Dazai said, emphasizing the word girlfriend in a bad way.
"I was joking about that.. I don't actually have a girlfriend, are you that dense?"
"You don't?" Dazai asked, his dull eyes lightening slightly at that
"Of course I don't, now why do you seem happy about that-?" Chuuya asked, raising a brow at Dazai again
"Oh, no reason~" Dazai said, his playful tone back again, his mood lightening.
Chuuya gave Dazai a questionable stare, but shook it off and stopped thinking about it, stepping his foot off of Dazai's chest, allowing him to sit up properly.
Suddenly, the same angel from the start of the battle screamed, stopping everyone from fighting. "Everyone! The battle is over, no one wants to continue this early anyways!"
After hearing that, everyone separated from each other's throats, taking a breather before going back to their respective friends, relatives, or just going straight home.
Chuuya then stood up properly, sighing before starting to head back to heaven. Before he could fly though, Dazai grabbed his sleeve and tugged on it, being careful not to touch Chuuya's actual skin so he wont activate the thorns.
"Wait-! You'll come back, right?" Dazai asked, wondering if he'll ever get to see Chuuya again
"What? Why would I do that if it's not necessary?" Chuuya asked, looking down at Dazai who was still on the floor
"Well- I thought that maybe we could uhm-.. talk again, like we just did, I mean. You know, maybe every now and then we could come here and see if the other is here at the same time, and then maybe we'll get to get to know each other more~!"
"That's stupid, why would I do that?"
"I don't know, I just want someone other than my friend Nikolai to talk to when I'm bored."
"Oh? So you're a loner."
"What?! Am not! I just don't have many friends!"
"Loner~"
"Shortie~"
"Beanpole~"
"Chibi~"
"Dead mackerel"
"Slug~" *Dazai said, giggling about their little banter as he suddenly heard Chuuya's name be called by someone.
"Oh, I gotta go, idiot. Bye, stupid fish" Chuuya said before flying up and away.
"Bye, slug.." Dazai said before getting up from the floor, looking around for Nikolai.