Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Carla, you are one of the most stubborn people I've ever met, but even you're outdoing yourself here." Ryan paused. "You like her. You fancy her. You never stop banging on about her -"

"Shhhhh!" Carla didn't want the whole factory knowing her business.

"Just see where it goes, woman!"

Carla smiled, mulling over the wise words of her nephew. When did Ryan become her agony aunt? Carla couldn't pinpoint when it had happened, but he'd certainly played a very supportive role in encouraging her to sit with her feelings for Lisa. To not push them away. To mull them over in her own head and see what conclusions to draw. But what conclusions should she draw? She knew now that she liked Lisa in a way that was far more than friendship. She was drawn to the blonde, like a moth to a flame. She wanted to spend all her time with her. She wanted to be the one to make her smile. Their earlier encounter with the bacon butty had only consolidated those thoughts. Seeing Lisa, slightly hungover, with her hair wet and looking cute with no make up on, it had made Carla see that her attraction went far further than just thinking Lisa was beautiful. It went far further than the stirring in her core that she found increasingly difficult to dismiss when she was around the blonde. If she was honest with herself, Carla knew she was falling hard for her friend. The problem was, she had no idea how Lisa felt about her. There'd been a few occasions when their gaze had been held a fraction too long, or a sharp intake of breath, at unexpected physical contact, had caught them both unaware. But, other than that, Carla had had no sign of Lisa harbouring more than platonic feelings for her. In fact, only the other day, Lisa had called her a good mate. What a dagger through the heart that had been. Carla still got a knot in her stomach when she thought about it. Sure, they'd had their 'moment', but Lisa had more or less dismissed it as the product of a very stressful day and a few too many glasses of wine.

Realising that she needed to take the bull by the horns, Carla picked up her bag and keys and headed out of the factory. She was bursting with all the feelings inside her. She couldn't keep it all hidden much longer. What she wasn't sure, was how to approach the conversation. If she asked Lisa to sit down so they could talk, the other woman would know what was coming and wouldn't feel ambushed. But, on the other hand, the ambush approach would at least allow Carla to gauge Lisa's honest reaction.

Reaching the door of the flat, Carla paused. What was she actually going to say? Lisa, I really like you? Lisa, I can't cope with us just being friends any more? Lisa, I need to tell you something? At least the latter would give a warning shot. Pushing open the door, Carla walked in and took in the scene in front of her.

"Sorry, I'm just getting dressed." Lisa smiled. "I'm back to factory settings now, thanks to you."

Lisa looked relaxed, standing in the kitchen with a glass of water and doing up the buttons of a borrowed shirt. In that moment, words completely failed Carla. The swirling nerves in her stomach were met with the throbbing want she felt, seeing her friend in a state of partial undress.

It was that want which won over.

"Don't."

Lisa looked confused. "Don't what?"

"Don't get dressed."

There was a small voice in Carla's head, screaming at her for being so bold towards her fairly reserved friend. But the bigger voice of want drove her on. Advancing slowly toward Lisa, she could see a look of curiosity on the blonde's face, as if she was unsure what was going to happen. Finally reaching her, she took Lisa's face in her hands. Pausing for a fraction of a second, she leaned in to what she hoped was going to be the first of many kisses between them.

"Carla!" Lisa's hands were on her waist, pushing her away. "What -?"

Carla was abruptly jolted from her lust-filled bubble, her lips tingling from the tiny bit of contact they'd had with Lisa's, before she'd been pushed away.

"Oh god, Lisa. I'm sorry!"

Lisa moved away from Carla, putting a bit of distance between them. Carla felt this loss painfully.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sorry! I thought...oh I don't know what I thought." Carla sighed. "I thought maybe..."

"What, that I might jump into bed with you? Is that why you invited me back here last night?" Lisa's eyes flashed, her voice raised. "But I was too drunk and fell asleep on the sofa. Ruined all your plans."

"Come on, Lisa, that's not fair."

"Isn't it?"

"No! I brought you back here coz you were in no fit state to get yourself home. You were tired and sad about your argument with Betsy. And about forgetting Becky's birthday."

"So you thought, 'oh, if I wait til the next day to make my move, that'll be fine. As long as I don't do it on her dead wife's birthday'."

"Lisa, you're not being fair. I didn't think it through. I wanted to tell you how I feel but, when I saw you half dressed like that..."

Lisa's laugh was hard and cruel. "You thought I might fancy a quick shag. To satisfy your curiosity. And we all know I've not had sex for 3 years, so I'd be gagging for it, right?"

"It wasn't like that." Carla could feel herself getting annoyed. Yes, she'd clearly made a mistake, here, but she didn't deserve the slanderous accusations being thrown at her. "Will you just hear me out?"

"I need to go, Carla." Lisa grabbed her phone and her coat. "I think it's best we don't see each other for a while."

"Come on, Lisa, don't go. Please, can we talk about this?"

"I thought we were friends. And then you go and do this. You were the one person I thought I could rely on." Lisa's hand was on the door. "I've confided so much in you and, what? You use that vulnerability to try and stick your tongue down my throat. Your lonely gay mate...she's bound to be up for it, right?"

With that, Lisa wrenched open the door and headed out.

"Don't follow me."

The demand was clear enough. Not that Carla would have gone after her. Lisa had clearly said what she needed to say. Carla had her answer. Lisa didn't feel the same as her and, by ambushing her like thay, she'd blown any chance at a good friendship with her.

Staring at the door her friend had fled through, Carla sighed. She might as well go back to work.

By 7pm Carla was sat on the sofa with her second glass of red wine. Dinner had been a microwave meal from M&S. A step up from Freshcos, but no one was pretending it was gourmet cuisine. She stared at her phone, willing it to buzz with a message from Lisa. She'd messaged mid afternoon with a simple "I'm sorry." but she hadn't had a reply. The sensible part of her knew that she shouldn't keep messaging, but the heartbroken part couldn't just leave it. She needed to fix this. She needed Lisa in her life, even just as a friend. She'd accept that, she really would. But she couldn't accept losing her completely.

Debating whether a voicemail would be better than a text, she settled on the latter. Lisa probably wouldn't listen to a voicemail anyway.

[Carla] I'm so sorry I ambushed you earlier. I shouldn't have done that. Can we talk? Tomorrow maybe?

Knowing that she was only torturing herself, but unable to stop herself, Carla pulled up Lisa's Facebook page. They'd only become friends a few weeks ago. She'd had a quick scroll through her page before, smiling at the photos of Lisa and Betsy. But, this evening, she wanted nothing more than to learn everything about her friend. To soak up every beautiful detail.

Starting with the photos, Carla went through every album. Holiday snaps of Lisa, Betsy and Becky swam past her eyes. Lisa in shorts and a vest, hiking up a hill. Lisa in a dressing gown on Christmas morning. Lisa and Becky dressed in their finery on their anniversary. Carla's stomach turned at the sight of those photos. This was Lisa when she was happy. Before her life had been ripped from under her. This brunette in the photos, she was the last one to be intimate with Lisa. The blonde wasn't looking for anyone else coz she was still grieving the life she had before. Carla had been a fool to think she'd jump into bed with her. That wasn't who Lisa was. She'd told Carla this the other week. She didn't do casual, and she wasn't looking for anyone new.

Looking back to her phone, Carla stilled at the sight of the album entitled "Wedding". She knew she was torturing herself, but her morbid curiosity won out as she clicked to open the folder. December 2014. Carla wasn't even sure when same-sex marriage had been legalised and she felt suddenly ashamed at her ignorance. Photo after photo showed Becky in an elegant ivory dress and Lisa in a suit of the same colour, a pale pink lacy top underneath. Becky's bouquet and Lisa's buttonhole matched the pink flowers they both wore in their hair. Carla had never seen Lisa's hair curled before. She was so beautiful, it took her breath away. A quick calculation told Carla that the cute smiley child in the pink dress was 6. Betsy's hair bounced in curls and her smile was infectious. Carla couldn't help but smile back at her. A beautiful family on the happiest day of their lives.

Unable to cope with the tightness in her chest any longer, Carla closed Facebook and turned the tv on. There'd be nothing on, she knew that. But she needed a distraction from the pain she'd caused herself. The pain she'd caused Lisa.

The minutes passed slowly, as Carla finished her glass and rinsed it at the sink. Deciding a shower might make her feel better, she stepped into the cubicle. The hot water ran through her hair, soothing the tension in her shoulders slightly. But, bending to wash her legs, Carla stopped suddenly. The long blonde hair on the bottom tile looked back at her, a painful reminder that Lisa had been the last one to use this shower. She'd made herself at home, comfortable in Carla's space. And now Carla had ruined it.

Sinking to the floor of the shower, Carla sobbed as the water slowly went cold.

Chapter Text

Three days had passed since Carla's ill-advised pass at her friend and she'd heard nothing from Lisa all weekend. She'd caved and left a brief voicemail last night, pleading with the other woman to meet up with her and give her a chance to explain. So far, though, she hadn't had a response.

Having had a few restless nights, Carla found herself dragging her sleep-deprived body towards Underworld for another fun Monday morning. She had a 9 o'clock meeting, so she'd felt obliged to make a bit more effort with her appearance, choosing a grey woollen dress, black leggings and boots.

Nipping into Roy's for a caffeine hit before work, she stopped abruptly at the sight of Lisa, stood at the counter waiting for her coffee. As if there was a magnetic charge between them, Lisa's head turned and Carla saw her eyes glance down at her outfit. It made her feel pleased that she'd bothered to make the effort for her client. Or maybe there had been a subconscious part of her that hoped to run into the detective.

"Hi." Carla's voice was tentative. She didn't want to scare her away.

"Hi." Lisa's response was short, inviting no conversation. She didn't meet Carla's eye.

"Lisa -"

Carla was cut off by Lisa receiving her coffee and turning quickly towards the door. Although she knew that anyone witnessing this encounter would have second-hand embarassment, Carla still chased Lisa out of the door and shouted after her.

Initially she didn't think the detective was even going to turn around, but eventually she did.

"I need to get to work, Carla."

With that, Lisa slid into her car and drove off, leaving Carla stood alone on the street, uncaffeinated and disappointed. Would they ever be able to get past this?

It was the end of the week before Carla and Lisa's paths crossed again. After nipping into The Kabin for a bottle of sparkling water, Carla's stomach flipped when she stepped onto the street and heard the sound of the detective's voice. It was clear that the blonde and her daughter were having a slightly heated exchange. Carla knew she shouldn't listen in when neither of them could see her, but she couldn't help herself. As with many things when it came to Lisa, Carla had no willpower.

"Look, Mum, I don't know why you're biting my head off. This past week you've been a right mardy cow!"

"Don't speak to me like that!" Lisa's tone was cutting and, not for the first time, Carla wondered how Betsy ever dared to speak to her mum the way she did.

"All I said was that I wasn't going to be home for dinner. It's not a crime. I do have a life."

"And I said I wanted to cook us a risotto before the mushrooms get so old they have to go in the bin."

"Can't you just invite Carla round, or something? Risotto seems far more her thing than mine."

"No, Betsy."

"Why not? You've not fallen out, have you?" Betsy paused and, even from a slight distance, Carla could see the cogs whirring in her head. "Oh god, Mum...you didn't try it on with her, did you?"

Carla's skin bristled, as she waited to hear Lisa's reply.

There was a slight pause before Lisa spoke. "No, I didn't. Now get in there. Carla will be wondering where you are."

"You did, didn't you?!" Betsy could clearly sense her mum's unease. "God, you're desperate!"

"No, Betsy, I did NOT try it on with Carla." It was obvious that Lisa was trying to keep her cool, although Carla could sense it wavering. "Get to work. I'll see you later for dinner. I want you home by 6 at the latest."

With that, Lisa turned and heading towards Dev's. Carla waited to see what Betsy would do and, as she expected, the teenager wasn't ready to let this go. The young blonde ran after her mum, any ongoing discussion now inaudible to Carla. She debated following them in, but knew there was a chance it would only make things worse. Reluctantly she headed towards the steps of the factory.

Carla barely had her coat off and computer turned on when her phone buzzed. Looking down at it, her heart skipped suddenly at the name on the screen. A name she'd been desperate to see there for over a week. But, opening the message, her heart sank.

[Lisa] Betsy knows you made a move on me last week. She got it into her head I'd embarrassed myself, trying to get you into bed. I didn't like being told I was sad and desperate when none of it was my fault. I'm sorry if she gives you shit. I thought I'd better warn you.

Carla inhaled slowly, her eyes closed. She might've known Lisa would be all about being honest with Betsy, even if the teenager was bound to take it badly. Carla smiled ruefully at the thought of what Betsy would've done if they actually had slept together.

There was no time to think about what she was going to say to Betsy because, with that, the teenager stormed into the factory, her jaw set in a way which reminded Carla of her mother. Most of the machinists had already settled down to work at their stations, but the general hubub quietened quickly at the sight of Betsy's rage. Stopping just outside Carla's office, Betsy turned so she was half facing her boss, but projecting mainly onto the factory floor.

"Is it true you tried to shag my mum?"

"Betsy. Come in here, will you?"

"Why? Am I embarassing you?"

"No, but I'd rather talk to you properly than have you shouting the odds at me from a distance."

Carla could see the staff's interest piqued. Sally and Fiz, in particular, looked like they fancied grabbing some popcorn to enjoy the entertainment with.

"So...is it? Is it true you tried to sleep with her, the day after my dead mum's birthday? You got her drunk and brought her back to yours and tried to sleep with her the next day, when she'd sobered up enough."

"Woah, hang on a minute. I had nothing to do with getting her drunk. She did that all by herself. I brought her back to mine for a coffee and she fell asleep on the sofa. That's all, Betsy."

"And then, what? You didn't try it on with her?"

Carla conceded defeat, knowing she'd have to outright lie to get out of this situation. This clearly wasn't the approach Lisa took to parenting and she didn't think her friend would appreciate Carla insinuating that she'd lied to her own daughter.

"Look, Betsy...yes I told your mum I like her, OK? It's not a crime. I'm not the first person in the world to get let down gently and I won't be the last."

Sally's eyebrows were threatening to climb off the top of her head. Carla couldn't wait for the interrogation her staff were going to give her, once she'd managed to shut Betsy up.

"Oh classy. Trying to sleep with your hungover grieving friend. I'd heard that you'd slept with half the men in Weatherfield, so now you thought you'd try your luck with the women, and all?" Betsy was on a roll now. "I don't know why you ever thought mum would look twice at you. Becky was far better than you. Better looking and a better person. And not a desperate slapper."

Carla felt like she'd been slapped. Even the factory lot looked stunned, waiting with baited breath to see what Carla would do next.

"Get out!" She kept her voice calm, trying desperately to keep a modicum of control over the situation, whilst the rage burned inside her.

Give Betsy her dues, she realised she'd gone too far. She looked like she was about to say something else, but Carla didn't want to hear it. She wasn't going to stand in her own factory and be called a slapper. Making a move on Lisa may not have been her finest move, but it wasn't a crime. She certainly didn't deserve to be hauled over the coals in front of all of her staff.

"Carla -"

"GET...OUT!" Carla's voice was raised, but still controlled, and she was proud of herself for not losing her shit with the teenager. "Don't come back for the rest of the day. And no, I'm not paying you. If you can come back and do your job, and can do me the courtesy of showing me a bit of respect as your boss, then I'll see you tomorrow. Now, get out of my sight."

Clearly pondering whether to say anything further, Betsy thought better of it and flounced out. Carla sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to process what had just happened.

"Right, you lot." Carla looked around at the sea of incredulous faces. "I'll give you an hour to gossip as much as you like. But, after 10 o'clock, I want to hear no more about it. Anyone I hear talking about me after that will be given the same treatment as Betsy, do you hear?"

"Yes, Mrs Connor." Sean's eyes glinted with the excitement of an hour of freedom to gossip.

Carla retreated into her office and closed the door. Sinking into her chair, she picked up her phone. She clicked on Lisa's message. This was the one person who she trusted to confide in. The one person who she could have relied on for support. But that connection had been severed now. Debating whether to still message her, she decided it was probably wise to at least let Lisa know that she'd sent Betsy away.

[Carla] Well she called me a desperate slapper in front of all my staff and I've sent her home. Her job's safe, if she still wants it, as long as she's not gonna shout the odds at me every day.

After a minute, she sent a follow-up text.

[Carla] I hope you're OK. I'd really like to talk to you, if you'll give me half an hour. Please.

A gentle knock on the door roused Carla from her thoughts. Looking up, she saw Sarah at the door, holding a cup of coffee in her hand with a question on her face. Carla nodded for her to come in.

"That was brutal." Sarah set the coffee down on a coaster. "If you want to talk, give me a shout. But I'll leave you alone if you want some time."

"Thanks, Sarah." Carla forced a smile onto her face. It was nice to think that someone could see the pain Betsy had caused, and not get distracted by the scandalous gossip of Carla propositioning a woman.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she opened her diary to review her list of tasks for the day. She couldn't afford to get distracted. There was too much to do.

Carla had given up at lunchtime, conceding that she wasn't going to be able to concentrate. She'd come home for a shower, changing into her joggers and a hoody and settling onto the sofa with a cup of tea and some trashy tv.

It was around 4 o'clock when Ryan came through the door, jumping out of his skin when he saw his auntie on the sofa when she should have been at work.

"Jesus! You gave me a fright."

"It is my flat, Ryan."

"Alright, face ache! What's wrong with you?"

Carla sighed. "Have you not heard?"

"Heard what?"

"I thought the jungle drums would have been gossiping round the street all day. Have you not spoken to any of the factory lot?"

"No? I went for a run and then I nipped to Freshcos this afternoon." He gestured to the shopping he'd brought home. "What's happened?"

"Oh Ryan, I've made a total tit of myself." Carla hid her face behind a cushion.

"Come on, tell me all about it." Ryan sat down on the sofa.

"That day you found Lisa here, moisturising her legs, and then you egged me on to tell her how I felt..." Carla sighed. "Let's just say, it didn't go well."

"She turned you down?" Ryan was clearly as surprised as she'd been. It was a small comfort to know that Ryan had seen something in Lisa's behaviour that had made him think she might harbour feelings for Carla.

"Yes. Spectacularly. She accused me of wanting a 'quick shag' and insinuated I'd prayed on her when she was vulnerable. That really hurt, Ryan. She's my best friend. I'd never do anything to hurt her. Not intentionally, anyway."

"What did you actually say to her, though? Did you tell her you had feelings for her?"

"Well...sort of. I'm an 'actions speak louder than words' kinda woman."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Oh yes...?"

"I was going to speak to her. I was! But, when I got here, she was stood in the kitchen, half dressed. My brain sort of short-circuited. I kind of...well, pounced on her!"

Carla hid her face in her hands, not wanting to witness Ryan's reaction. Feeling him poking at her side with the tv remote, she reluctantly looked up.

"Well you've got some guts, I'll give you that! I'm sorry she turned you down. For what it's worth, I do think she likes you."

"She clearly doesn't, does she! She turned me down. She really hurt me with what she said. And now she won't respond to my messages and won't meet up with me to talk. That's that, I guess. I've screwed it up."

"Give her time, Carla. Have faith. I've seen the way she looks at you. Maybe she's just scared."

"Well, between her accusing me of playing on her vulnerability and Betsy calling me a desperate slapper in front of the factory lot this morning, I'm suitably humiliated."

"Ouch! Betsy said that?"

"Oh yes. 'Is it true you tried to shag my mum?' was her opening line. But the desperate slapper bit was definitely the highlight."

"Right then, there's only one thing for it."

Carla looked at Ryan questioningly.

"Deep pan quattro stagioni? Washed down with the alcoholic beverage of your choosing."

Carla smiled at her nephew. She was glad she'd told him. He'd been supportive, right from the off. Although, if he hadn't have encouraged her, perhaps she wouldn't be in this predicament. Maybe she'd still be pining. At this stage, Carla wasn't sure what was worse.

Chapter Text

Carla looked around her bedroom at the mess she'd made. There were clothes everywhere. She'd had the bright idea that morning to have a clear out and take some things to the charity shop at the precinct. But, now that she was halfway through her task, she felt a bit overwhelmed. She wasn't stupid. She knew that these sudden additions to her 'To Do' list were simply a way of keeping her brain busy, distracting her from the mess she'd made of things with Lisa. Yesterday she'd emptied the kitchen cupboards, eyeing up spices that went out of date pre-Covid and wondering what she'd ever thought of cooking that required coconut puree. Something which hadn't ever gotten made, clearly.

Bundling up a load of clothes into a couple of giant IKEA bags, she headed out the door. Carla quite liked the precinct. It had a grubby sort of charm that reminded her of her teenage years, hanging around drinking cider with Michelle and Paul. She knew a lot of Coronation Street's teenagers hung around there. Betsy was often sat on the swings with Mason or Dylan. Carla saw a lot of similarities between the young blonde and herself as a teen. She seemed to prefer male company, and Carla worried a little that she used charm and flirtation to influence the boys. It was a tactic Carla had used many times herself. It was a tactic she still used in business meetings with smarmy clients. Although, thinking about it, Carla couldn't remember the last time she'd really flirted with a client. Subconsciously, she suspected there was part of her that felt she shouldn't. Because of Lisa. Because of the woman who'd thrown cutting words at her for getting things wrong. Yes, Carla had made a mistake, but there had been no need for Lisa to speak to her like that. It was fair enough that Lisa felt shocked and taken aback by Carla's actions. But why was Carla now doing all the apologising? Did they both not have things to be sorry for? The problem was, Carla was desperate to fix things and she knew she'd be waiting for a very long time for Lisa to apologise for her words.

Getting out of the car, Carla heard a shout. Looking towards the swings, she saw Abi Webster crouched down over someone lying on the ground.

"Abi!"

Carla hurried over, realising as she got closer that she knew the person on the ground. Mason Radcliffe. Betsy's boyfriend and local toerag. Carla had heard he was trying to turn his life around, but his family were dragging him repeatedly onto the wrong side of the law. Kneeling down, she looked at the boy on the ground. His face was scraped and red, early bruises forming around his left eye and cheekbone. He wasn't entirely unconscious, but his mumbles were incoherent and his eyes closed.

"What the hell's happened? Have you called an ambulance?" Carla looked around, half expecting to see an assailant hovering close by.

"Yes, I've called them. And the police." Abi was distraught. Carla could see the panic in her eyes. "It were those brothers of his. I saw them running out of the ginnel, there, and then Mason staggered out and collapsed here. Oh god, Carla, what if he dies?"

"He's not going to die, Abi." Carla looked down at the teenager, hoping he couldn't hear what they were saying.

Abi was shaking. Carla could see the panic taking over. "But Seb..."

"Look Abi, what happened to Seb was awful. But there's no reason to think that Mason isn't going to be OK. The ambulance will be here any second." Carla looked around, willing that to be true.

Hearing a retching sound, she realised Mason was being sick. Abi looked dumbstruck.

"We need to turn him onto his side. Come on!" Carla grabbed at his jacket, pulling his body onto its side. Casting her mind back to last time she'd done first aid training with the factory staff, she put him in the recovery position, relieved he'd stopped vomiting. For now, at least.

Finally hearing the wail of a siren, Carla breathed a sigh of relief at the ambulance pulling up. Stepping back, she tried to summarise what had happened to the paramedic. Abi seemed to have lost the ability to string a sentence together. Carla could tell she was thinking about Seb. About the brutal, violent death her son had suffered. It was truly awful and it made Carla feel sick. They'd nearly lost Nina in the same attack and Carla didn't know if Roy would have ever recovered if that had happened.

It was as the paramedics were loading Mason into the ambulance that the police arrived. A uniformed officer approached Carla and Abi, who was agitated and fidgeting with the zip on her jacket.

"Do you mind if I ask you both a few questions about what's happened?" The officer asked. "Just to get a basic idea, to start with. If we need a formal statement from either of you, the team will follow that up. I think DC Green's on his way. Or it's maybe DS Swain today, I'm not sure."

Carla took a deep breath. Great.

"No, no. I can't stay and give a statement." Abi was shuffling from one foot to the other, her eyes darting around. Carla looked at her with concern.

"Abi -"

"I need to go to the hospital with Mason. I need to be with him. To make sure he's alright, like."

The police officer frowned. "Are you family? Or a friend?"

"I saw him, straight after it happened. I know him. Sort of." Abi's voice displayed her distress. "I need to go with him."

The police officer sighed and Carla sensed a degree of irritation in his body language.

"Right, well can I get your full name, phone number and address, so we can speak to you later today? It's important we get a picture of what's gone on, here. A young man has been seriously assaulted."

Carla bristled at his tone. He was a condescending little upstart.

"Don't you think I know that?" Abi's voice was shrill. "I've been sat with him for the last 20 minutes, praying he's not gonna die!"

Abi reeled off her details and climbed into the ambulance, leaving Carla alone with the officer. Eventually he turned to her.

"Right, and your name is?"

"Carla Connor. And what's yours? You didn't introduce yourself. PC...?" Carla hated men like this. Cocky and unsympathetic. Why he'd chosen the police service as his career path, Carla wasn't sure. Maybe it was the power element.

"PC Chesters. So, Miss Connor -"

"Mrs. It's Mrs Connor. Or Carla, if you're feeling more personable."

"So, Mrs Connor, can you take me through what you've witnessed here?"

Carla went through the events of the past half an hour in as much detail as possible, hoping she wouldn't have to go into the station tomorrow to give a formal witness statement. She hadn't actually seen anything. That was all Abi. Not that the other woman looked to be in a position to give a coherent statement.

Satisfied he'd got as much out of her as he could, PC Chesters wandered off to speak to his colleagues who'd been securing the scene, leaving Carla free to take her bags into the charity shop. She exhaled slowly, reflecting on what had gone on. She wasn't sure how badly injured Mason was, but even Carla knew that vomiting wasn't a good sign. She knew she should probably ring Betsy, but the teenager would be distraught, and it seemed there was a chance Lisa was about to turn up. As much as Carla didn't want to speak to her, she knew it was probably best to let her tell Betsy what had happened.

As if manifesting her with the power of thought, a car door slammed and the diminutive blonde stepped out. Carla felt an immediate pull in her lower stomach at the sight of the detective in a black blazer and crisp white shirt, her high ponytail swinging as she walked. It annoyed Carla that her body reacted so viscerally to a woman she couldn't have.

She watched as Lisa spoke to PC Chesters briefly, who gestured vaguely in Carla's direction. It was only then that the detective turned and caught sight of Carla stood there. She saw the blonde close her eyes briefly and Carla knew she was relishing the thought of their next conversation as much as Carla was.

"Carla. What are you doing here? PC Chesters tells me you witnessed the assault on the teenage boy."

"No, I didn't. As I told him, only a minute ago, I only arrived afterwards. And the teenage boy, as you so impersonally described him, is Mason Radcliffe."

"Mason?" Lisa was taken aback. Clearly PC Chesters had failed to tell her the victim's name. "What happened?"

Carla sensed the change in tone. DS Swain had temporarily gone, replaced by Lisa, Betsy's mum.

Carla sighed. "I don't know, Lisa. I got out of my car and Abi Webster shouted me over. She saw him straight after. Watched him collapse on the ground. He's in a bad way."

"Jesus." Lisa exhaled heavily. "Does Betsy know?"

Carla shook her head. "I was going to ring her, but your colleague over there - the one with the misogynistic tone - said you were coming, so I thought I'd wait and speak to you."

"I'll have to call her. She'll want to go and see him at the hospital. I can't risk her finding out from someone else." Carla could see her becoming stressed, the two sides to her personality battling to the forefront. "I can't be SIO. Not when the victim's my daughter's boyfriend. I'll have to call Costello and see if he'll take over. He'll not be pleased. He already thinks I'm a liability."

"Lisa, hey...just breathe." Carla loosely gripped the other woman's shoulders. "Deep breaths. Call him right now and then go and find Betsy."

Lisa nodded, inhaling slowly through her nose as she looked at Carla. Then, as if realising where she was, she stepped back, fumbling in her pocket for her phone.

"Lisa, listen -"

"Not now, Carla. Whatever you're going to say, the answer is 'not now'." Lisa snapped.

"When, then? You're avoiding me!"

"Yes I am! I don't want to talk to you!" Lisa's voice cracked and Carla had an urge to gather the smaller woman into her arms. "I need to go. My daughter needs me."

"OK. Tell her I'm thinking of her. And I'll still pay her if she doesn't want to come to work for the rest of the week."

"That's good of you."

Without a backwards glance, Lisa stalked off towards her colleagues, her phone pressed to her ear, as she phoned Costello to tell him the bad news.

Carla looked around at the scene in front of her, the precinct crawling with uniformed officers. What an afternoon.

With a heavy heart, she got in her car and headed home.

Chapter Text

Carla had been struggling with work over the past few days, the attack on Mason still weighing heavily on her mind. She'd heard he was out of the woods, which was a relief, but he was still being monitored in hospital. Then, yesterday, Carla had run into Abi on the street and was alarmed by her agitated and anxious demeanor. She recognised that behaviour. It was how she, herself, had been when she was struggling with psychosis when her PTSD had been bad. She'd walked Abi home, but Kevin hadn't been in the house, and Carla had been a bit nervous leaving her at home with just Jack. But Abi had insisted she was fine, so there hadn't really been much more Carla could do. She'd planned to pop round and see her over the weekend, but she'd ended up having to bring paperwork home from the factory. Her brain just hadn't been able to focus at work and she'd got behind. Carla resolved to make sure she checked on Abi this week.

A sharp knock on her office door broke Carla's concentration. Looking up, she saw Fiz looking at her anxiously.

"I'm sorry to bother you." Fiz poked her head in. "Betsy's cut her hand with a Stanley knife. I've tried putting pressure on it with a paper towel, but it won't stop bleeding. I think she might need to go to A&E."

"What was she doing with a Stanley knife?" Carla leapt out of her chair. The teenager had only come back to work today, once she'd known that Mason was going to be OK.

"She was helping unload some boxes of lace with Kirk, I think."

Carla followed Fiz over to where Betsy was sat, looking a bit pale.

"Let's have a look, love."

Bending over to look at the teenager's hand, it looked to Carla like the cut was going to need seeing to at hospital.

"Right." Carla sighed. "Why don't you ring your mum and see if she can run you up to A&E. I can't have you bleeding all over my factory all day."

"You'll have to do it. I've left my phone at home." Betsy smiled ruefully. "Honestly, that's hurting me more than hacking my hand open."

Carla scoffed. Teenagers and their phones. "Fine."

Unsurprisingly, Lisa didn't answer. Carla wondered if she'd gone as far as to block her number. At this point, nothing would surprise her.

"Right, wait here til I grab my keys. I'll drive you. But if you get blood on the upholstery, you can pay to have it valeted."

This was just what Carla needed. She had far too much to do today. But she couldn't leave Betsy to fend for herself. Despite what had happened with Lisa, not to mention Betsy's little tirade, Carla still felt a motherly affection for the teenager. A strange sense of protectiveness came over her when she saw Betsy hurting.

Betsy climbed into the passenger seat, her left hand wrapped in the cleanest teatowel Sally had been able to find. She was looking a bit green and Carla hoped she wasn't going to vomit in the car. Pulling away, she passed her phone to Betsy.

"Do you want to text your mum and let her know what's happened? She'll not answer if you ring. She'll think it's me." Carla didn't need to explain any more.

"Sure."

Carla navigated the back streets with ease, dodging pedestrians as they stepped off the kerb without warning. A van pulled out of a side street without looking, causing Carla to step heavily on the brake to stop.

"Sorry. Are you OK?" Carla looked over at the teen, who was still staring at the screen of Carla's phone. "Did you message your mum?"

"Yeah." Betsy's voice was distant, her mind clearly focused on what she was looking at.

Carla leaned over and realised what Betsy was reading. The thread of messages to Lisa featured innumerable pleas from Carla for the blonde to talk to her. To no avail, of course. These messages were personal, Carla telling Lisa how much she valued her friendship. How much she didn't want to lose her. The last person she wanted reading these texts was Betsy.

"Oi! Give me that!" Carla snatched her phone back.

A car honked behind them, reminding Carla that she'd stopped in the middle of the road. Putting the car back into gear, she waved an apology at the driver behind and pulled away.

"You really like her." Betsy looked over, her expression difficult to read. "Those messages...not to be dramatic, but you sound heartbroken that she's ghosting you. I thought..."

"What, Betsy? I miss her." Carla huffed. "She's my best friend around here. And now she won't speak to me."

"I thought you were just having a midlife crisis, after your husband pissed off. I thought you fancied a quick shag and thought my mum would be up for it."

"Of course not." Carla looked at her sharply. "If I'd just wanted a quick shag, as you so politely put it, do you think I would have risked my friendship with your mum for it? I like her, Betsy. I know that's something you probably don't want to hear, but it's true."

The teenager was silent. Carla glanced over to see her staring out of the window.

"Can we just put some music on? I don't want to talk to you." Betsy's voice was small, a petulant tone creeping in.

Not wanting to push things, Carla did as she was asked. A 90s Britpop playlist filled the silence. It probably wasn't Betsy's taste, but she didn't complain. The teenager's face remained clearly focused on the grey day outside.

Eventually, Carla pulled up outside Weatherfield General and the pair headed inside.

4½ hours later, Betsy was finally seen by the nurse practitioner, who expertly cleaned the wound and stuck it together with steri-strips.

"Leave the dressing on for 24 hours, and then I want you to leave it out in the air. If you notice any spreading redness, or the wound starts discharging, see your GP or come back here. OK?"

Betsy nodded at the nurse, relieved to be finally leaving. Carla had barely managed to engage the teenager in conversation the whole time they'd been there. Their earlier chat was clearly still playing on her mind. Lisa had called soon after they'd arrived and Carla had let Betsy answer. She wasn't going to kid herself that the detective actually wanted to speak to her. She was worried about her daughter, that was all. She obviously hadn't asked to speak to Carla, as Betsy had hung up swiftly after reassuring her mum that she didn't need to leave work. She'd announced that Carla had offered to drive her home afterwards, which was news to Carla. But maybe it was a chance to actually see Lisa. Maybe they could finally talk things through over a cup of tea. Carla could only hope.

Bundling Betsy back into her car, Carla was surprised to see it was dark outside. They'd been at the hospital for hours. She'd have to spend all night catching up on the paperwork for the current order. But, surprisingly, Carla didn't mind. She'd been able to be there for Betsy today, and she hoped it would let the teenager see her as something more than just her boss. Not to mention the hope that Lisa would see how much she cared about her daughter and thaw a bit.

The drive back to Betsy's was subdued. Carla had put Taylor Swift on, hoping Betsy was warming to her.

"I'm sorry." Betsy said finally. "For shouting at you in the factory."

"Hmm." Carla wasn't quite ready to forgive that humiliating experience.

"I shouldn't have said those things. I thought you were using her for a bunk up. Gross, I know. It's the last thing I want to think about."

"I wasn't, Betsy, OK? I really care about your mum. I'd never try and sleep with her for a laugh, just for the kicks. Maybe I should have approached the situation differently, but I do really like her." Carla sighed. She didn't know why she was saying all this to the teenager. "I honestly think we'd be great together, if she'd give me a chance."

"Well she won't. And I'm glad." Betsy's tone was curt and Carla felt like she'd been slapped. "Mum doesn't need anyone else. No one will ever be as good for her as Becky. Certainly not you."

Carla took a deep breath. She was embarrassed to feel tears of humiliation prickling in her eyes.

"Listen -"

"No YOU listen! No one is ever going to replace mum. We were happy! We were a family. And now she's gone, but me and Mum are still here." Betsy raised her voice, her own tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. "Mum doesn't need anyone. She's got me. We don't need anyone muscling in on our lives."

"I think you're being unfair." Carla tried to keep her voice calm. "Your mum isn't interested in me - she's made that perfectly clear - but one day she will meet someone she likes. She's only in her 40s, Betsy. She might have another 40 years ahead of her. Do you really want her to spend those alone?"

"She's NOT alone. She's got me!"

"It's not the same, Betsy. And, anyway, in a few years, you'll have moved out. You'll have your own life. And where does that leave your mum, eh? Are you really so selfish that you'd wish loneliness on her?"

Betsy stared out of the window, tears now staining her cheeks. "It's so unfair. Why did she have to die?"

Carla placed her hand gently on the teenager's knee. "I know, love. It is unfair. Life's really unfair, at times. The number of awful things that have happened to me, over the years...but you can't force your mum to be on her own for the rest of her life. It's not fair on her."

"And what about me? What if I don't want someone else pushing their way into my life? Do you think I want to see your face every day at the breakfast table?"

"I think that's pretty unlikely, Betsy. Your mum made it very clear she doesn't like me like that."

"Good, coz Becky was worth 10 of you. You'll never replace her."

"I would never have tried to." Carla said sadly, wiping her own tears off her cheeks as she pulled into Betsy's street.

Driving onto the driveway, Carla saw the front door open as she stopped. Lisa was stood in the doorway, work clothes still on but her hair down. The worried expression on her face only made her more beautiful.

Carla turned the engine off and went to open the car door.

"You're not coming in." Betsy scowled. "I appreciate you driving me to the hospital, and all, but don't think this is a way to get into mum's good books. I'll see you tomorrow."

Carla sighed. So much for a chat over a cup of tea. Looking over at Lisa, Carla couldn't read her face. Betsy pushed past her into the house, leaving her mum still stood on the doorstep, looking at Carla. A moment passed between them as Lisa waited to see what Carla was going to do.

With a heavy heart, Carla put the key back in the ignition and reversed slowly off the driveway, the front door closing on any possibility of a conversation.

Chapter Text

Carla couldn't help but smile at the frivolous decorations adorning the Rovers. They were tacky, but perfect for the backstreet boozer vibe that the Rovers had. It was all part of the charm. December had crept up on her and she had no idea what she was going to do at Christmas. If she was honest with herself, she'd been secretly hoping to spend it with Lisa and Betsy, but clearly that wouldn't be happening now.

She'd come for a drink on a bit of a whim, tired of the endless evenings on her own in the flat. She'd even made a bit of an effort with her clothes, teaming dark blue skinny jeans with a floaty maroon shirt and a pair of heels. She looked good, she knew that. It should have boosted her self-confidence and it would have...before.

Opting for a vodka, lime and soda, Carla decided to stay at the bar. It would allow her to chat to people as they came and went. There was something a bit sad about drinking on her own in a booth.

Seeing Kevin and Tim coming through the door, Carla saw her opportunity to check on how Abi was doing.

"You're looking nice!" Tim made no effort to disguise his eye wandering over her outfit.

"Don't let Sally hear you, mate!" Kevin chuckled. He knew his ex-wife well.

"Oh, Sally knows I don't have eyes for anyone else." Tim's puppy dog expression was endearing.

Carla smiled. "How's Abi doing, Kevin?"

"She seems a bit tired. She's kept Alfie at home the past few days coz she reckons he's got a cold coming. I haven't noticed anything, mind. I reckon she's maybe just using it as an excuse for a skive from work!"

"Hmm." Carla wasn't convinced. "The other day, I had to take her home. She was really agitated. I was a bit worried about her. Did Jack not say anything?"

"No?" Kevin was looking at her with concern. "When was this?"

"A couple of days after she went to hospital with Mason. She was really shook up by it all. Has she not said anything to you about it?"

"No, she hasn't." Kevin looked at Tim. "Look mate, I'm gonna take a rain check on that pint. I better check Abi's alright."

Tim nodded. "I hope she's alright, mate. It must remind her of everything that happened with Seb."

"Yeah. Listen, thanks Carla. For looking out for her. I'll see you later."

Carla watched him leaving. She really hoped Abi was OK. The flashbacks and paranoia she'd felt during her episode of psychosis were something she wouldn't wish on anyone. PTSD was an awful illness, and Carla wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that Abi was struggling with it. There was barely a single person on this street who hadn't faced some kind of trauma in the past.

Carla and Tim finished their drinks in quiet companionship. Tim and Sally had been looking out for Mason, and Carla knew they'd both been shaken by what had happened. She'd heard that they'd offered Mason a place to stay when he came home from hospital. He was planning to spend Christmas with them.

Finishing the last of his pint, Tim turned to Carla and said goodnight.

An hour later, the place was getting busier, but Carla was considering heading home. She was bored of making small talk with the neighbours. Being all dressed up, but having no one to appreciate it, was making Carla feel a bit sad. She hadn't realised how lonely she was, until now. Lisa had filled the hole left by Peter. Initially Carla hadn't seen it for what it was. She saw a lot of herself in Lisa. She'd thought they were friends. But, bit by bit, their connection had changed. Or so Carla had thought. But clearly her and Lisa had been on different pages. And now she'd lost her completely. If only Lisa had been willing to have a proper conversation. So Carla had got the wrong end of the stick? Surely it wasn't the end of the world. Surely it wasn't worth throwing their friendship away over. Unless their friendship meant less to the detective than it did to Carla. That thought hurt Carla even more than when Betsy had called her a slapper. Certainly, Lisa had been happy to throw harsh words at her, hurting her in a way she'd never have expected the blonde to.

Sighing as she stared at the dregs of her second drink, Carla felt a presence at her side.

"Can I get you another?"

Carla looked up to see an attractive man in his early 50s. His smart jeans and blazer complimented his salt & pepper hair and his smile was warm. She paused. Her heart was screaming at her for even considering accepting a drink from this man. Her heart belonged to Lisa, she knew that. The thought of closing the door on that cut through her like glass. How could she ever feel like that for anyone else? But Lisa had made it clear that her feelings weren't reciprocated. Carla's messages had gone unanswered and the detective had made no effort to repair the rift between them. The feeling of loss made Carla feel ill. The emptiness in her chest pulled at her heart in a way she'd never have thought possible.

Smiling blandly at the man, Carla was surprised to hear her voice accepting his offer. She had no idea why she'd said yes. But perhaps it was for the best. She was lonely. Why shouldn't she try to move on? Maybe if she was in a relationship, Lisa would see that she wasn't going to make any more moves on her. Maybe they could repair their friendship.

Jenny passed their drinks over the bar, presenting the card machine to the man to pay. Catching Carla's eye, her eyebrows flicked up knowingly. Carla smiled back, a look of wide-eyed faux innocence on her face. Lifting her glass, Carla tapped it against the man's pint.

"Carla."

"Matthew."

The man smiled warmly again. He really did have a nice smile. He definitely had the sort of look Carla normally went for in a bloke.

"What brings you here, then? Drinking alone."

"Business." Matthew took a sip of his pint. "I was just round the corner at the property agents. I've got a couple of flats I'm wanting to find an agent for. I'm tired of the hassle of the day-to-day running of the places. It'd be good to know they're being taken care of, not to mention taking the stress out of chasing people for rent all the time."

Carla nodded. She could imagine how frustrating it must be to deal with difficult tenants.

"What about you, Carla? Why are you drinking alone, looking a million dollars?"

"Flattery." She laughed. "I live round here."

The conversation continued easily, Carla warming to him quickly. He was good conversation, not to mention easy on the eye. There was still a big part of her screaming at her that she was making a mistake. That she'd given up on Lisa too quickly. But she couldn't put her life on hold for something that was highly unlikely to ever happen.

One drink turned to two, Carla feeling herself relaxing into Matthew's company. The evening was going well. Maybe it was just what she needed.

She'd just laughed genuinely at an anecdote about a terrible Tinder date when she caught sight of Lisa and Dee-Dee walking past. The blonde was steadfastly avoiding her eye, and Carla could feel her heart racing. This was just what she needed. How was she ever going to move on, if she was faced with Lisa's beautiful smile every day. But Lisa wasn't smiling now. Far from it. Carla saw her staring at the table in the booth she'd sat in, her face expressionless. A twinge of guilt went through Carla's chest. She didn't want to hurt the other woman. Maybe she should leave.

Sensing her mind was elsewhere, Matthew leaned over, nudging her gently.

"Am I boring you?"

"What? Oh no! Sorry!" Carla turned back to him. She needed to put Lisa out of her mind.

Determined to get their evening back on track, Carla regaled him with a few dodgy dating anecdotes of her own. Every now and then she felt his hand on her arm or the small of her back. It gave her a bit of a thrill to think he might fancy her. Carla certainly found him attractive and the 4 vodkas she'd had were drawing her into his company. Occasionally, thoughts of the blonde detective came to her mind, and Carla wondered what she was thinking. Was she relieved that Carla was moving on? Or did she see Carla the same way Betsy did, thinking that she was always on the lookout for her next bedroom conquest. That thought brought a nausea into her throat that she had to swallow down with a sip of her vodka.

"I'm off to the little boy's room." Matthew touched Carla's hand as he walked away.

Carla exhaled. It was going well, she thought. She was enjoying his company. Sensing someone approaching, she turned to see Dee-Dee sidling up to her.

"Well he's nice!" She smiled, but Carla could see she was holding something back.

"But?"

Dee-Dee sighed. "What's going on with you and Lisa? She can't take her eyes off the two of you."

"There's nothing going on with us. As I'm sure you've heard, I tried to kiss her and she knocked me back. She's not interested in me. She made that very clear."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. You should see the way she's looking at you."

"What do you want me to do, Dee-Dee?" Carla ran her fingers through her hair in exasperation. "The ball's in her court. If she came over here right now and asked me to sit with her, I would. I'd let him down gently. She'd just need to ask."

Dee-Dee sighed. "I think she's afraid."

"I put myself out there and all I got was harsh words from her and her daughter. Maybe it's her turn to take a chance."

Dee-Dee nodded, heading back to her seat as Matthew reappeared.

"Do you want another drink?" Carla smiled at him, but Dee-Dee's words wouldn't leave her head. Did Lisa like her? Was she just afraid? Or was it a case of not wanting Carla, but not wanting anyone else to have her, either?

The next half hour passed in a sea of confusion, Carla now acutely aware of the blonde's eyes on her. She couldn't help but look over, every now and then. On one occasion their eyes met, and Carla could see the jealousy in Lisa's eyes. She didnt know whether to feel guilty or smug. Both feelings wrestled in her stomach.

Eventually, looking up, Carla saw her leaving. Dee-Dee struggled to keep up with the way she was marching out. Turning to Matthew, Carla gave him her best seductive smile.

"Do you fancy coming round to mine for a coffee? I don't think I could handle another vodka."

The flicker of surprise on his face was quickly qwelled by the excited anticipation of going back to her flat.

"Sure. If you're sure?"

Carla grinned at him. Why shouldn't she have a bit of fun? She might not have been looking for a quick shag when she'd propositioned Lisa, but that didn't mean she wouldn't enjoy one. Matthew seemed like a decent bloke and he was easy on the eye.

Leaving the pub together, they headed towards Carla's flat. The walk wasn't far, but Carla started to feel a knot in her stomach, the closer they got to her home. By the time they reached the door, she felt really sick. Stopping still on the doorstep, she looked down.

"Are you OK?"

His concerned voice only made Carla feel worse. She couldn't do this. She'd been a fool to think she could. The way she felt about Lisa, it was so strong. It would feel like a betrayal to sleep with Matthew. A sudden feeling of bile came up into her throat.

"I...er...I'm sorry."

"If you've changed your mind, I'm happy to say goodnight. I'll give you my number." He looked at her hopefully. "Maybe we could go out for dinner?"

Carla's stomach swirled with guilt. Regret. Disgust. Shame.

"I can't. Oh god, Matthew, I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I've had a great night, honestly. But there's someone else. We're not together, but I really like them."

Matthew smiled ruefully. "Let me guess. The pretty blonde in the pub?"

"What?!" Carla stared at him.

"The woman in the pink jumper. The one that was staring at us all night, eyes like thunder."

Carla laughed, despite herself. "That obvious, is it?"

"If looks could kill, I'd be dead! You and all, maybe!"

"She turned me down." Carla admitted, sadly.

"Well then she's a fool." Matthew squeezed her hand, gently. "I hope she changes her mind."

Leaning over, he kissed her lightly on the cheek, and turned to leave.

"Thanks for not being a dickhead." Carla called out after him.

"Any time!"

Carla turned the key in the lock, heading inside. Her head was all over the place. How did everything become such a mess?

Chapter Text

Carla hadn't slept. The events of the previous evening swirled around her head. Images of Matthew's face flashed up, chased away by Lisa's. All the while, her stomach churned and a desperate feeling of regret coursed through her. If only she hadn't have walked in that day and tried to kiss her. Maybe if she'd tried to talk to her instead, things might have gone differently. Or maybe it would have made no difference and she'd still have lost her best friend.

Heading along to Roy's, Carla's mind was elsewhere and she almost ran headlong into someone. Lisa. Of course it was Lisa. Why was she always around? She didn't even live here.

"Sorry!" Carla instinctively grabbed Lisa's arms to steady her.

"It's ok." Lisa stepped back.

Carla felt the tension emanating from them both. It was almost unbearable. She was about to turn and escape into Roy's when the blonde spoke again.

"Good night, was it?" The edge in her voice was clear.

"Yeah, it was fine, thanks."

"He seemed nice. Attractive...if you like that sort of thing." Carla could hear the challenge in her tone.

"He was nice. And, yes, attractive."

"OK." Lisa shuffled her feet, looking at the ground. "Well I'm glad you had fun."

The silence grew between them. All of a sudden, Carla was filled with an overwhelming urge to tell Lisa that she'd let him down gently. She couldn't bear the idea that the other woman would think she'd taken him home.

"I turned him down."

Lisa's head snapped up. "What?"

Carla rolled her eyes. "I know. Gorgeous bloke wants to take me out to dinner and I turn him down."

"But...why?"

"Are you kidding, Lisa? You're unbelievable, do you know that?" Carla shook her head. "I like you, you know that. You made it perfectly clear that you don't have feelings for me. Fine. Then, the first opportunity I get to try and get over you and you appear and shoot daggers at me all night."

"I did NOT -"

"No? Dee-Dee noticed. Bloody hell, Matthew noticed! I told him I had feelings for someone else and he knew it was you, from the way you were looking at me." Carla sighed. She could feel tears in her eyes again. This was happening all too regularly, these days. "You need to make up your mind what you want, Lisa. And, when you do, let me know."

Unable to take it any more, Carla pushed open the door to Roy's, leaving Lisa outside in the street. She knew her tone of voice had been harsh. Maybe her words, too. But this woman had trampled all over her heart, and now seemed intent on using it as a football.

"Carla!" Roy was looking at her with concern. "Are you OK?"

Carla fought hard to keep her face in check. She didn't want to unburden her woes on Roy. She needed to get to work and Roy needed to get on with his day.

"I'm fine, Roy. Just the usual, please."

Roy looked like he was about to say something, but thought better of it, busying himself with making her coffee.

Tapping her phone on the machine, Carla turned to leave.

"Things have a way of working out." Roy's voice made her turn back around. "Sometimes people just need a bit of time to adjust to an idea."

Carla smiled ruefully at his wisdom. "I hope so, Roy. I hope so."

Roy nodded sagely, turning back to the coffee machine, signalling an end to their conversation.

Carla pushed the door open and headed outside. The December sunshine warmed her face as she reflected on Roy's words.

The rest of the morning passed without any further drama. The paperwork was still stacked up and Carla wondered if there was anyone in the stitching team she could delegate anything to. Fiz would be the obvious choice - she'd held a more managerial role during her secondment - but Carla knew the rest of the team would have something to say. Maybe she should just see how things went. Working through her lunchbreak would be a good start, but her stomach was growling and she hadn't brought anything from home.

Sticking her head round the door, she caught sight of Betsy yapping away to Izzy.

"Betsy! A word in my office, please."

A collective "ooooooo" erupted from the machinists. They were still enjoying the drama unfolding between Carla and the Swains.

"Enough, you lot!"

Betsy looked confused, eyeing Carla with some anxiety. Their relationship had been fractious at best recently, after their trip to A&E together. Carla was avoiding spending too much time in the teen's company, wary of the potential for getting grilled about her feelings. Meanwhile, she suspected Betsy was still nervous about potentially losing her job, or facing the possibility that Carla might try and grill her about her mum.

"What have I done?" Betsy drawled. "Coz, if it's about me chatting to Izzy, she was the one who spoke to me. And I've done far more work this morning than her."

"No, it's nothing like that. Sit down."

Betsy plonked herself down heavily in one of the comfy chairs in the office, looking at her expectantly.

"How's Mason?"

"What?"

"Mason. How's he doing? I heard he might be getting out of hospital today."

"Er...yeah. This afternoon. Tim's picking him up. Sally and Tim have invited me round for dinner."

Carla smiled. After everything that had happened between Mason and Liam, she'd never have thought she'd even give him the time of day. But he seemed to be really trying, and Betsy certainly liked him.

"If you want to finish early...I'll tell the others you've got a dentist appointment."

"I think Sally might have something to say about that, don't you?" Betsy smiled conspiratorially at her.

Carla laughed. "Oh I'd forgotten about her. Nevermind. The offer was there!"

Betsy looked at her curiously. "You're alright, you know."

"Oh fine praise -"

"- for a boomer!"

Carla guffawed. "Enough of your bloody cheek! Anyway, I wondered if you'd do me a favour?"

Betsy's face dropped. "What?"

"Oh!" It dawned on Carla why the teenager was looking nervous. "It's not about your mum. It's about lunch!"

Betsy visibly relaxed again. Carla knew how to pick her battles. And trying to win Lisa round by sweet-talking her daughter was definitely futile. She brandished a £20 note.

"If you go and buy me some sushi and a latte, you can spend the rest on your own lunch."

Betsy jumped up. Clearly there was no need to ask twice. Swiping the cash, she headed to the door. Turning, she smiled shyly.

"Thanks. And thanks for not firing me the other week. I probably deserved it."

"You probably did. It's just as well I'm 'alright', isn't it!"

A moment of understanding passed between them, before Betsy headed out the door.

For the second night in a row, Carla was in the Rovers. She hoped Matthew wouldn't appear. She could do without that. She hoped Lisa wouldn't, either, although Betsy had mentioned she was working late so she hoped she was safe.

"I'll have a bottle of Merlot please, Jenny."

Jenny looked at her pointedly. "On your own this evening? What happened to Mr Dishy?"

Carla scoffed. "I let him down."

"Why?! You should have sent him my way!"

Carla rolled her eyes. She didn't want to elaborate. Not that Jenny wouldn't have heard about Carla trying to kiss Lisa. She suspected there wasn't a single person on the street who hadn't heard that.

Thankfully, Jenny didn't push her and, armed with her bottle of red, Carla went to sit down. In contrast to last night, she wanted to be on her own and sitting in a booth alone didn't seem like such a big deal.

The evening rolled by slowly, a second bottle going down faster than the first. With some surprise, Carla looked at the time to see it was nearly 11. She should head home. She had work in the morning, again.

Standing up to leave, her head spun. She'd had too much to drink. The walk home was slow, the cobbles proving a tricky surface to traverse after two bottles of Merlot.

Finally closing the door on her flat, Carla sighed. She headed through to her bedroom, haphazardly taking her make up off and brushing her teeth. Pulling her pyjamas on, she collapsed into bed and sighed again. The room was spinning.

Feeling her phone buzz under her pillow, she looked at it expectantly. Of course it wasn't Lisa. It might never be Lisa again. Maybe it was time to take the bull by the horns.

Opening up the thread of Lisa's messages, Carla pondered what to say. It took her a while to type, her fingers refusing to behave enough to type a coherent message.

[Carla] I miggt be a bit pissed but I think you are thr hottest womsn alive lisa Swain and i dont care who knpws

Chapter Text

The sun streamed through Carla's window when she opened her eyes. The curtains were open. Her eyes felt sticky from not taking her make up off properly and her head was thumping. What time was it?

Shit!

Jumping out of bed, Carla stopped to allow her head to stabilise. How much did she have to drink? Realising that she wasn't going to be able to leave the house without a shower, despite being hideously late for work, she tentatively headed into the bathroom.

10 minutes later, the hot water had done wonders for her headache and washed away the smell of stale red wine. She brushed her teeth and stared at herself in the mirror. What a mess. At least she hadn't done anything embarassing.

Blasting her hair quickly with the hairdryer, she gave up in the end and threw it up in a hair tie. She rubbed moisturiser over her face and grabbed her mascara, but her shaking hands only succeeded in her poking herself in the eye with her mascara wand. Growling at herself, she wiped it all off and started again. Finally, pulling on some leggings and a jumper, she went to put her boots on when a sudden moment of realisation came over her. It was the Underworld team-building day. They were going bowling.

Groaning, Carla considered going back to bed and feigning illness, but she knew she'd have to go. She was the bloody boss. Finding her trainers, she locked the door of the flat behind her and headed along the road to Underworld. It would have been quicker to drive, but Carla was fairly sure she'd still be well over the limit.

Half an hour later, the team were en route to the bowling alley, Kirk at the helm of the minibus. Carla relaxed into the seat, relieved to be sitting next to Sarah, who was quietly scrolling through her phone. She wasn't sure she'd have been capable of any chat this morning. Ryan hadn't been at home this morning. He must have been out early for a run. Or maybe he'd got lucky and stayed out. Carla couldn't help but smile to herself. Sometimes she missed being young and spontaneous. They hadn't seen much of each other over the past fortnight, so were planning to spend the evening together tonight. Pulling out her phone, Carla went to message Ryan to remind him he'd offered to cook them dinner. She opened up WhatsApp and the last conversation stared back at her.

The wave of nausea that rolled through her stomach was almost enough to make her sick in the minibus. Her message to Lisa stared back at her. The blue ticks showed her it was too late to try and delete it. Debating whether to try and rectify it with a second message, she decided against it. Nothing was going to fix that. At this stage, she could only hope that she literally never saw Lisa again. Betsy hadn't been weird with her, so far, so she could only assume Lisa didn't share every one of Carla's indiscretions with her daughter. She put her phone away. She actually couldn't bear to look at it.

The morning proved entertaining enough to distract Carla from the mess she'd made of her love life. Fiz was predictably terrible at bowling and had the whole group almost chucked out when she accidentally threw her ball down another team's lane. Her sheepish expression had been enough to send the group into hysterics and the staff at the venue were suitably unimpressed. Clearly they were lacking in sense of humour. On the other hand, Kirk was surprisingly good. He beat everyone, hands down, in both games. Carla sometimes felt she underestimated him.

But it was the banter between the team that kept the morning flowing. Carla was surprised to see everyone getting on so well and made a mental note to do more of these days. It was the Christmas party in a week or so and she hoped everyone would be on equally as good form then. Turning to survey the group, she got her eye on Betsy and Sally. It was clear, even from a distance, that Sally was boring Betsy to tears with whatever she was saying. As the youngster stifled her second yawn within a minute, she caught Carla's eye. The pair smiled knowingly at each other and Carla headed over.

"Betsy, can I borrow you? I need a hand carrying the drinks over from the bar."

Not needing any further encouragement, Betsy leapt up and followed Carla.

"Thanks!"

"Any time." Carla chuckled. "I know what she's like, once she gets talking about something."

"She was talking to me about gardening. Gardening! Do I look like I care about her beg...beg..."

"Begonias?"

"Yeah, them. I don't even know what they are!"

Carla laughed. Despite the car crash her life had turned into, the last few weeks had given her a real opportunity to get to know Betsy. She liked her. Carla saw so much of herself in the teen. Under the feisty, reckless attitude, a witty, clever young adult was waiting to come forward. It wasn't Betsy's fault that life had dealt her a shitty hand when she was only 13. Carla could see why she was so protective over her mum and their little family unit, even if their relationship was more than a little strained at times. Although it was unlikely now that anything would become of her feelings for Lisa, she knew that her and Betsy would have got on well eventually. The teenager would have been annoyed to start with, maybe. But she'd have come round, once she realised how much Carla cared about her mum. In fact, Carla suspected it would have been her and Betsy teaming up against Lisa at times. But there was no point in thinking like that now. Lisa wasn't going to let her in. If she'd wanted to, she'd have done it by now.

The rest of the excursion passed without incident and the group returned to Coronation Street in high spirits. Carla had managed to more or less forget about the text all day and her hangover had lifted after a coffee, a coke and some chips lathered in ketchup. Jumping off the bus, she waved the staff away, telling them she'd see them in the morning.

As she turned towards home, Carla once again ran into the one person she didn't want to see. Given that Betsy had already headed off to meet friends, Carla really wasn't sure what Lisa was doing here. Again. But, whatever the reason, she was here.

"Hi." Carla could feel her cheeks burning at the mere thought of Lisa reading that text. She couldn't bring herself to look her in the eye.

"Hi. How was the bowling?"

"It was good, thanks."

The silence stretched out awkwardly and Carla thought she was going to get away without the message being mentioned. But, never one to beat around the bush, Lisa wasn't going to let her get away that easily.

"So about that message..." There was a slight smirk in Lisa's voice.

Carla dared to glance up. Rolling her eyes, she gave a self-deprecating smile.

"I'm sorry. I was drunk. It won't happen again."

Lisa nodded, quietly. "It made me laugh."

Carla stared at her, desperately trying to read her face. Was this an olive branch? Had Carla cracked through the veneer with an ill-advised drunken text?

"I've missed you." Carla admitted. "I've missed spending time with you. Please can we go for coffee sometime? No funny business. Just as friends."

Lisa seemed, just for a minute, like she might say yes but then, looking down, she shook her head.

"I can't, Carla. It's too messy. I told you before that I don't want a relationship. I'm not ready to start something with anyone. Maybe I'll never be." She looked away and Carla could see her eyes sparkling with tears. "We can't be friends. Given what's happened...we can't."

Carla made no attempt to stop the tears falling from her own eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening. She was actually going to lose the best friend she'd had for years.

"I can't lose you, Lisa. I can't. You mean too much to me. Please don't push me away." She knew she sounded desperate, but she didn't care. "We can get our friendship back on track, I know we can. Please. I don't want to lose you."

Lisa sniffed, wiping tears off her cheeks. Her face hardened, as she turned to look at Carla.

"You know what? Maybe you should have thought about that before you tried to get me into bed!" The coldness of her tone took Carla by surprise. "I think we both need to move on with our lives. I was fine before you came along. I don't need a friend. The job and Betsy, that's all I need. So I suggest you try and put this all behind you, too."

Carla let out a small sob. She knew she should probably feel embarrassed, crying in the street like this, but she was too hurt to care.

"If that's what you want." She gasped for breath, struggling to get her words out. "I need to go."

Unable to be around her any more, Carla stumbled in the direction in the flat. She could hear Lisa crying behind her, but she couldn't go back. It was futile. Lisa had said her piece and that was that.

Closing the door of her flat, Carla sank to the floor and sobbed. She hadn't felt pain like this since she'd lost Liam, and that told her all she needed to know.

Chapter Text

Carla couldn't face going out. She hadn't left the flat for 3 days, apart from one very late night trip to Underworld to collect some paperwork. She'd purposely chosen to go at almost midnight. She couldn't face seeing anyone.

It was finally Friday. The last day of the week that she'd have to make excuses to her staff for not coming in. She'd told them she had a stinking cold that she didn't want to pass on to everyone before Christmas. In truth, it was far easier to work from home and avoid the fizzing Christmassy atmosphere at Underworld. The frivolity and endless chitchat. She couldn't bear it. No, she was staying at home for now. Until she felt better, or until Christmas was over, whichever came first.

Ryan wandered out of his room and clicked the kettle on.

"Brew?"

"What?" Carla looked up from her laptop. "Oh, yeah. Thanks Ryan."

"You know you can't stay in here forever, don't you? You have to face the world sometime."

"Sometime, yes. Today, no."

Carla went back to her spreadsheet. The numbers were swimming in front of her eyes, but she needed to crack this today. It was a big proposal they were putting to a new client, and Carla needed to know these numbers inside out, so she could confidently sell their new range of high-end lacy underwear. If she messed this up, she wasn't sure how she'd even manage to pay the staff. While money wasn't quite as tight as it had been just after Stephen had stolen 250 grand from her, she wasn't exactly minted. Not for the first time, she wondered if she should have been firmer with Jenny and Daisy about repaying her. They should never have taken the money out of Stephen's account. That money was Carla's.

Ryan put her mug of tea down on a coaster, careful to keep it away from her paperwork.

"It's not doing you any good, being cooped up in here, you know. You're bound to keep running into her. It's something you'll just need to accept. Her daughter works at your factory."

"It's not that, Ryan." Carla sighed, picking up her tea. "I know I'll need to see her. It's not just her I can't face. It's everyone. It's the Christmas spirit. It's everyone being happy and singing Christmas songs and talking about their plans for Christmas day. I can't bear it, Ryan."

Ryan patted her shoulder gently, retreating to the sofa and putting the tv on silently.

"You can put the sound on. I'm going back to bed."

Carla got up from her chair, ignoring Ryan's concerned face. Climbing into bed, she pulled the duvet over her head.

A buzz from her phone woke Carla from her fitful sleep around an hour later.

Betsy.

[Betsy] When are you coming back to work, skiver?

Carla smiled at the directness of Betsy's message. It made her a bit sad to think she'd never have anything other than an employer/employee relationship with the teenager. She'd almost begun to see her as a surrogate daughter, but there was no point cultivating this type of relationship, when it was going nowhere. Any thoughts she'd had of spending time with Lisa and Betsy together were long gone. Lisa had seen to that. Carla felt that loss keenly. Whilst she'd never have tried to replace Becky in Betsy's life, she had thought she might have managed a cool step-mum role. Having lost her one chance at having a daughter of her own, she'd enjoyed daydreaming about Betsy being her step-daughter. But it was pointless thinking like that. There was nothing to stop her looking out for Betsy, but that's as far as it was ever going to go.

[Carla] Monday maybe. If I can shake this cold off. I hope you lot are behaving!

By the time Sunday rolled around, Carla had almost driven Ryan crazy. She'd not been out of the flat for 5 days and her constant presence was clearly starting to annoy him.

"You can't spend your whole life in joggy bottoms, Carla! This is ridiculous."

"You know what, Ryan? This is my flat and if I want to stay in, I will. If you don't like it..."

"You do know I'm only saying this for your own good, don't you? When did you last eat something? Yesterday lunchtime? Have you taken your medication?"

"Yes, of course I have." Carla snapped. "Do you think I'd ever do anything to risk Aidan's kidney?"

"Right, well I'm going to make you a sandwich, then I want you to have a shower and we're going for a walk." Ryan stood firm, his hands on his hips. "No arguments."

"No, Ryan. The shower and the sandwich, yes. But I'm not going for a walk. I need more time."

Ryan slumped down against the side of the sofa, his voice softening.

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. I'll be fine. I just..." Carla sighed. "I knew I liked her, you know? But, now she's not in my life any more...it's like...oh I dunno, Ryan."

"You've had your heart broken."

"Don't be so dramatic!" Carla rolled her eyes at him but, in truth, she knew he was right. "I'm going in the shower. If there's cheese, I'll have cheese and pickle. Think there's brown bread in the freezer."

Getting undressed, Carla hadn't had a chance to step into the shower when her phone buzzed on her bed. Looking down at it, Carla's heart leapt when she saw Lisa's name staring back at her. Stood there in her underwear, she gingerly picked up the phone and clicked to open the message.

[Lisa] Are you OK? I've had several people messaging me to ask if I've heard from you. Everyone's really worried about you.

Carla noticed the distinct absence of "I'm really worried about you" in that message. She felt bad, though. She knew she'd been avoiding replying to people's messages. A number of people had contacted her to ask if she was OK, but the messages had all gone unanswered. And now people were contacting Lisa to see if she'd heard from her. Carla laughed at the irony of that.

[Carla] I'm OK. I just needed a bit of space to get my head together and process what's happened. I'll be fine. You don't need to worry.

[Lisa] I was worried. I do still care about you

[Carla] Lisa please don't say that. Not if you're serious about us not even being friends any more. It's too hard. I appreciate your concern but I think it's best we leave it there, don't you

Carla sighed and shook her head. Why was this woman always messing with her head? She dropped her phone back onto the bed, as she finished undressing, and grabbed her dressing gown. She hadn't been near the one that Lisa had borrowed the other week. It still smelled like her and Carla didn't think she'd cope, being enveloped in Lisa's scent. It was lucky she had another dressing gown.

Just as she was heading into the en suite, her phone buzzed again.

[Lisa] OK. I'm glad you're OK, anyway. I'll not message you again. I agree it's best we keep our distance

Carla chucked it back on the bed. She wasn't going to reply. There was nothing else to say.

There was something about the hot water that did wonders for Carla's mood. Towelling off her hair, she picked up her phone to see a missed call and a voicemail from Michelle. Carla couldn't help but grin, despite everything.

"Hi stranger! I'm sorry I've missed you. Ring me back. I wanted to talk to you about Christmas. Our Ryan's coming over here and he mentioned you're at a bit of a loose end. So I wondered if you wanted to come, an' all? Maybe for about 4 days, or something? Let me know!"

Carla sat on her bed and smiled. This was exactly what she needed. Michelle was her oldest friend. They'd seen each other through many scrapes over the years and their banter was always easy. Firing off a text, before she changed her mind, she gladly accepted the offer. She wasn't in the mood for a chat but, obviously sensing this, Michelle texted back quickly to say she was looking forward to it.

Buoyed up by her new plans for Christmas, Carla threw on some clean leggings and a t shirt and blowdried her hair properly. Smiling at herself in the mirror, she took a deep breath. She really needed to move on from this. Lisa hadn't been in her life all that long and, for a chunk of that time, their relationship had purely existed in the realms of law enforcement. Carla had other friends. Michelle's message had proved just that. And any notion of romance was just a pipe dream. Maybe she was having a midlife crisis. Carla chuckled to herself. No, she couldn't let this tiny blonde tornado whirl into her life and destroy it. They were both adults. If their relationship was to be just as acquaintances, then so be it.

Heading into the kitchen, Carla could see two plates of sandwiches and crisps, fresh cups of tea steaming away on the counter.

"Thanks, Ryan. And thanks for having a word with your mum. She left me a message about Christmas."

Ryan beamed. "You gonna come? It'll be great. Mam'll burn the turkey, there'll be soggy sprouts. She'll get drunk, crack out the karaoke and pretend she's a singer in a pop band."

Carla laughed at his infectious enthusiasm, even if he didn't exactly paint a picture of a perfect day.

"Yes, I'm gonna come."

Ryan squeezed her in a tight hug. "Great!"

"Did you tell her? About Lisa?" Carla clarified, when she saw his confused expression.

"No. I thought I'd leave that to you, if you wanted."

"Thanks. I'll see. I kind of just want to put it all behind me, you know?"

Carla took her plate over to the table, setting her mug down haphazardly.

"I'm going to go back into the factory tomorrow, I've decided. I don't want to go for a walk today, so please don't try and make me, but I need to get back to normality. I can't mope around in here forever."

Ryan grinned, as he carried his own plate over.

"Good."

Taking a bite, Carla smiled. "Thank you for being generous with the pickle."

Chapter Text

The Underworld Christmas party. The highlight of the year for some of the staff. This year Carla had hired a function suite in a pub, keen to avoid a repeat of last year when Kirk had spilled beer all over an open box of knickers. Unfit for selling to the client, Carla had taken them home and put them in the washing machine. Lots of people ended up with knickers in their stocking that year. But she wasn't going to let that happen again.

Stepping through the door, Carla could hear the sound of Slade booming out of the speakers. It was just as well she'd managed to pull herself out of the funk she'd been in last week. She didn't think she'd have coped with the volume of Christmas cheer otherwise.

"Oooo Carla, you look nice!" Fiz looked her up and down appreciatively.

Carla knew she looked good tonight. She'd bought a new black dress. Fitted and knee length, she felt confident in it. These days she rarely wore heels, but she'd gone for it tonight. Her eye makeup was heavier and she'd curled her hair. Carla Connor was back and it was time to party.

"Thanks Fiz. So do you."

Fiz's sparkly purple top was nice, and Carla smiled at her genuinely. The staff had all been so kind to her over the past 3 weeks. No one had made a big deal over the fact she'd been publicly humiliated by Betsy. Or that she'd been turned down by Lisa. Or that Lisa was a woman. Carla made mental note to give all the staff a bonus, if they pulled the next order off.

Wandering over to the bar, Carla nearly tripped over, as Izzy whirled around in tight circles in the middle of the room, Betsy cackling away on her lap.

"I'm glad to see you two are having fun! You're not drinking Betsy, are you?"

"Nope. Promise! Mum would kill me. And you!"

"That's what I'm worried about." Carla muttered.

Leaning over the bar to get served, she saw Sarah heading over.

"What are you having, Sarah?"

"G&T, please."

Carla ordered them both a drink, turning back to face Sarah.

"I wanted to say thanks, by the way. I never said thank you for that coffee you brought me, the day Betsy laid into me. I really appreciated you checking in on me."

"It's ok." Sarah smiled kindly. "I know what it's like to end up the subject of gossip. I've been in that position many times. It wasn't fair of her to shout the odds like that. She could have come and spoken to you privately. I know she's just a kid -"

"Oh it's ok, Sarah. I've forgiven her. She's had a hard time. No one wants to hear their boss has put the moves on their mother, do they?"

"Is that what you did, then? Put the moves on Lisa?" Sarah laughed. "You don't need to answer that. It's none of my business."

Carla shook her head. "It was a car crash Sarah, honestly. I'd liked her for ages and then she got bladdered one night and stopped at mine. The next morning, I left her in the flat to have a shower and, when I got back, she was busy getting dressed. And I, sort of..."

"What?" There was a slight smirk on Sarah's face, as she waited for the end of the story.

Carla covered her face with her hands. "I told her not to get dressed. And then I tried to kiss her."

"Well! You're a dark horse, Carla!" Sarah looked impressed. "I can't believe she turned you down. I don't think I would, if you came at me with that line! I don't think most people would, come to think of it!"

Carla laughed. "Well, she did. And I tried speaking to her, but she brushed me off. So I'm just going to put it behind me. There was a nice bloke in the Rovers, the other week. Maybe I should have got his number, after all. He wanted to take me for dinner."

"Ooooo, was he nice? Could you track him down?"

"Maybe." Carla pondered, thinking about what he'd said about property letting.

"Mrs Connor." Sean's sidled up to her. "You are looking devastatingly gorgeous tonight."

"What are you after, Sean?"

"Moi?" Sean looked mock affronted. "I was just going to get a round of shots in."

"And...?"

"And I wondered if you wanted one?"

"You wondered if I'd pay for them, more like!" Carla shook her head. "Buy your own round, Sean, you big cheapskate. I paid for this party, thank you. I think you'll find that's my contribution."

Sean flounced back to the group, to announce he'd failed in his mission. Carla saw Izzy sulking and rolled her eyes. That woman was always out to see what she could get for free.

Sean returned to the bar, bank card in hand, and bought a round of sambucas. Pointedly, he slid one each over to Carla and Sarah.

"Thanks, Sean." Carla smiled sweetly at him. "You're very generous."

Knocking back the shot, Carla felt the burn in her throat. She liked it. For the first time in weeks, she could say she felt properly happy. She'd closed the door on a chapter of her life she'd unexpectedly uncovered, and now it was time to look to the future. It was almost a new year and Carla was looking forward to a fresh start.

Fairytale of New York started playing and Sarah grabbed her hand, dragging her to the middle of the room for a dance. They were joined by Betsy and Sally and, for a few minutes, Carla lost herself in the music. Seeing everyone's smiling faces made Carla realise how lucky she was to have these people in her life.

The evening went well, with no arguments, injuries or incidents. It felt like she'd just arrived but soon it was 11pm and everyone started spilling outside, on the hunt for a taxi.

"Betsy, how are you getting home, love?" Carla noticed the teenager shivering in her crop top. Why didn't youngsters wear a coat?

"Mum's coming to get me. She said she was leaving ages ago. I don't know where she is."

"I'm sure she'll be here in a minute."

Carla looked around at the rest of the staff. Sean, Kirk, Fiz and Izzy were off into town to continue the evening. Carla couldn't think of anything worse than the idea of a nightclub, a week before Christmas.

Bit by bit, the rest of the staff found a taxi and either headed home or into town. Betsy was shivering so much that Carla had given her her long black coat. Now she was freezing, her bare legs and shoulders covered in goosebumps. Where the hell was Lisa?

"You can go, you know. I can just wait for her." Betsy could see how cold Carla was getting.

"We're not leaving you here, Betsy." Sarah was the only other one left. "Why don't you ring her again?"

Betsy pulled out her phone and clicked to call her mum.

"No answer. She's probably driving."

"Yeah."

Carla smiled at Betsy, but inside her stomach was starting to churn. What if something had happened to her?

It was another five minutes later when Lisa eventually rounded the corner on foot, looking more than a little bit flustered.

"Betsy, I'm so sorry. I couldn't get parked. I've had to leave the car miles away. On double yellows. We'll have to go. I'll get in so much trouble if I get caught."

Lisa turned and, catching sight of Carla, shivering away in her dress, she stopped. Her eyes raked down Carla's body and back up, until their eyes met. Realising she'd been caught, she blushed.

Carla stood, her eyebrows raised in challenge, but Lisa didn't bite. An awkward look passed between them.

"Come on. We need to go. Whose coat is that?"

"Carla's."

Betsy went to take it off, but Carla stopped her.

"Give me it back on Monday. It's fine."

Taking a last look at Carla, Lisa nodded gently. "Thanks for looking after Betsy. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here."

"Any time." Carla said softly.

Lisa smiled tentatively, their eyes meeting again. It was the first time for weeks that Carla had seen warmth in those eyes. An unspoken sorrow passed between them. A shared understanding that they both wished things were different. That they both regretted how everything had gone.

"See you on Monday, you two." Betsy's voice broke the spell.

Carla painted a smile on her face. "See you later Betsy. You too, Lisa."

The blonde's smile was similarly forced, but her eyes didn't leave Carla's.

"Bye."

Watching the two of them go, Sarah nudged Carla gently. "I'd say all is not lost there. Wouldn't you?"

Chapter Text

It was the last working day before Christmas. Carla had no idea why she'd chosen to have the staff working Monday 23rd and then close for the rest of the week. Why hadn't she just given them the week off? Nevermind. She'd let them away early and then she could get sorted ready for her flight this evening. Her and Ryan were flying at 8 o'clock, which was far later than she'd have liked, but it was the only flight they could get tickets for at short notice. Michelle would pick them up at the other end, though, so they'd still be at hers in time for a mulled wine before bed.

Carla had felt restless all weekend. After deciding she was ready to move on from her feelings for Lisa, she'd been confronted head on with the stark reality that she was, in fact, not ready at all. Seeing Lisa checking her out on Friday night had re-awoken the longing she'd felt. The nervous excitement of having someone you fancy looking at you in a way that betrayed their own attraction was exhilarating. There was a small part of Carla that felt a sense of optimism that perhaps she hadn't misjudged Lisa's feelings for her, after all. But maybe it was just a case of Lisa thinking she was attractive to look at. Maybe that's as far as her feelings went. She'd made it clear before that she wasn't looking for a relationship, so maybe all she wanted to do was window shop. Carla didn't want to get her hopes up.

The weekend had passed without any communication between them. Carla had been tempted to message Lisa but, really, the ball was in her court. The thought of being rejected again really wasn't appealing.

Mid morning, Carla heard an increase in the volume of chatter outside her office. Poking her head round the door, she saw Fiz handing out presents to everyone.

"Oh, good timing! We're doing the Secret Santa presents."

Carla groaned internally. She couldn't really be bothered with this. She hated pretending to be pleased with whatever tacky jewellery or bath bombs someone had bought her.

Painting a smile on her face, she gratefully accepted the small box that Fiz handed her.

"You go first, Carla." Sarah looked at her expectantly.

Carla opened the box to find a mug bearing the message "Don't Approach Until My Third Coffee" which she smiled blandly at. It could've been worse, she supposed.

The rest of the presents were slowly revealed. Some were clearly meant as a joke, whilst others were more serious gifts. Fiz unwrapped a grey and pale green woolly hat, which she was delighted with, and Izzy got a set of nail varnishes. Carla had to suppress a laugh at Betsy's "Lazy But Cute" socks, which the teenager was slightly offended by.

But it was Sarah's gift which tipped everyone into hysterics. Opening the gift bag, she gingerly plucked her present out with her thumb and forefinger, eyeing it with a look of disgust.

This time round, there was no suppressing Carla's laugh.

"Who's bought Sarah a dildo?!" After a morning of ruminating over her probable unrequited affection situation, this had made her day.

No one was owning up. Sarah waved the offending item around, her face turning to amusement now that the initial shock had worn off.

"It's a bit floppy!"

"Is that what you used to say to Adam?" Sean quipped, earning himself a death stare from Sarah.

"Is this coz I'm single? People think I'm needing this in my life?"

"You know, Sarah, it's a shame my singles night never happened." Kirk was looking thoughtful. "You could have met someone there."

"Er..."

"I was trying to get your mum to go Betsy. But she wasn't very keen."

Carla would have laughed, if this wasn't so awkward. Half the staff were unsubtly watching her, gauging her reaction.

"Not really her thing, Kirk." Betsy smirked at him.

"I told her, "there'll be loads of fit blokes there" but she didn't seem interested."

"Funny, that." Sarah muttered.

"As I said, not really her thing!" Betsy was enjoying this now. She'd have enjoyed it even more if her mum had actually been there and had to deal with Kirk's naivety firsthand.

"Then I told her, if she doesn't want to go to an event, we could always go for a drink."

"Dare I ask, what did she say to that?" Fiz was as enraptured by this story as the rest of the factory staff.

Carla would have put Kirk out of his misery ages ago, but she didn't really want to bring it to anyone's attention that she and Kirk had both tried unsuccessfully to win Lisa's heart. She couldn't face being stuck in the same category as Kirk.

"She said I wasn't her type. Which is fair enough, like. Not everyone wants the funny bloke. Some women want the clever, serious men." Kirk shrugged. "She might change her mind."

"For God's sake, Kirk, she's gay!" Carla had eventually snapped, unable to bear this car crash any longer.

"Oh! I didn't know that."

"Carla tried her luck with her the other week. Do you not remember? Betsy came in and called her a slapper." Sean's face suggested this was all very amusing.

Betsy looked at Carla sheepishly, but Carla just rolled her eyes and smiled back. She couldn't blame the teenager for what she'd said, or how she'd delivered it. She'd have done the same thing.

"Yes yes, we all know I got knocked back. Now enough of that chat. We've still got stitching to be done today." Carla was desperate to move things along a bit. She didn't want anyone dwelling on her little misdemeanor.

"Does that mean I don't have a chance with her?" Kirk looked perplexed.

"I'd say no, Kirk." Betsy grinned. "But I'll let her know you're interested and, if she likes you back, I'll give her your number."

"That'd be ace, Betsy. Thanks!" Kirk's excited expression was too much for Carla to bear.

Heading into her office she sank deeply into the chair. She was glad Lisa hadn't been there to witness that conversation.

Just before lunch, Carla looked up to see Betsy knocking on her office door. She waved her in.

"Mince pie?" The youngster was brandishing a box. "Fiz brought them in."

"No thanks, love." Carla smiled at Betsy, whose tinselly deely boppers were bouncing around as she spoke. "You all sorted for Christmas?"

"Yeah. I only really have my mum and my grandma to buy for. That's Becky's mum. We don't see Lisa's mum."

Carla made a mental note to ask Lisa about this, if they ever managed to recover their friendship.

"I bought you something, though."

The teenager bounded off to her locker, leaving Carla slightly taken aback. What had Betsy bought her? And why? She felt bad that she'd only got Betsy a box of Celebrations. The rest of the staff had got a bottle of gin, but obviously she couldn't buy that for Betsy, even if the teenager would have much preferred gin to chocolate.

"Here." Betsy presented Carla with a small gift, wrapped in red Christmas paper.

Tearing off the wrapping tentatively, Carla was relieved to see it wasn't anything expensive. Betsy had bought her a pack of 10 brightly coloured biros. It was a thoughtful gift. The other week Carla had been bemoaning the fact she didn't have enough different colours to do her brainstorming scribbles. Betsy had obviously remembered.

"Oh Betsy, thank you." Carla pulled the teenager into a hug, wondering slightly too late if this was inappropriate.

"You're welcome." Betsy shuffled her feet, looking down.

"You OK, Betsy?"

"Yeah, it's just...I wondered what's going on with you and mum."

"Nothing's going on. She turned me down, remember. We've not seen each other since, apart from when we've run into each other in the street. Or the other night, after the party. She doesn't even answer my messages, so I've given up."

"I saw the way she looked at you. On Friday, I mean. She was checking you out in that dress. But it was so awkward. I wanted to bang your heads together!"

"And say what, Betsy? You made it very clear you were glad she turned me down."

"Yeah, well...maybe I was wrong. She's been sad since you two fell out. It made me realise that you'd been making her happy."

"Well I'm not making her happy now, am I. She's not messaged me at all. Unless you count the day she texted to warn me you were on the warpath, after she'd told you what happened between us. Or when she messaged to check I wasn't dead." Carla sighed. "She doesn't want anything to do with me. I screwed it up."

"Maybe you just surprised her. I don't know exactly what happened, and I don't want to, but she's not good with surprises. She likes to plan. She doesn't do spontaneous. Maybe that's where you went wrong."

"Maybe. But she told me she doesn't want a relationship, with me or anyone else. She's only interested in you and her job. She doesn't want me."

"She's not interested in me. I hardly see her. She's always working."

"That doesn't mean she doesn't care, Betsy. She's a single mum. She needs to work to put food on the table. And she's a bloody good detective. I know I've given her shit before, but she really is great at what she does. And she cares about the people she's trying to help. But Betsy, there's nobody she cares more about than you. I think that's the main reason she doesn't want to try a new relationship. Coz she doesn't want you to think she's replacing your mum."

Betsy scuffed her trainers against the floor, not meeting Carla's eye. "I know I said that when I was angry with you, but I don't really think you'd try and replace Becky. I actually think you and mum would be great together."

"Well it's a shame your mum doesn't think so, isn't it." An air of sadness crept into Carla's tone. Here she was, finally getting Betsy's blessing and it was all for nothing.

"I think she's scared." Betsy nodded, almost confirming it to herself. "She clearly fancies you. And I know she likes you as a person. So I don't see what else is holding her back."

"Well, whatever it is, it's powerful enough to stop her. She won't let me in. She won't see me and she's not replied to any of my texts."

"Write her a letter."

"What?"

Betsy smiled, nodding at the pack of coloured pens. "Write her a letter. Tell her how you feel. Just be honest about it all and see what what happens."

Carla scoffed. "She'll just screw it up and chuck it away."

"Nah I don't think so. That's not her style." Betsy shrugged. "What have you got to lose?"

Carla pondered the teenager's words. She was right. There really wasn't anything to lose. Some more of her dignity, perhaps, but at this stage she was past caring about that. She owed it to herself to give this one more try. To say all the things she should have said instead of "don't get dressed".

Smiling at Betsy, Carla stood at the door to her office.

"Right, you lot. Finish the pair of knickers you're currently stitching and then head off. Merry Christmas, and all that. I'll see you all next Monday."

A collective cheer went up amongst the staff, everyone rushing to down tools ASAP. Within 10 minutes, everyone except Betsy was gone.

"Good luck." Betsy looked at Carla shyly. "I hope she listens to you."

Carla gathered the teenager back up into the second big hug of the day. "Thank you. For being really mature about all this. And for trying to help."

Betsy gave her a wide smile. "If she says yes, will you give me a pay rise?"

"Oi! Don't push your luck! Get out of here!" Carla laughed. "And Betsy?"

The teenager turned.

"Thank you for the pens."

Half an hour later there were scrunched up bits of paper all over Carla's desk. She had no idea what to say or how to say it. How could she make Lisa understand that she really liked her? Really wanted to be with her, in every sense of the word. If the past month had taught her anything, it was how much she valued Lisa's company. This was what she wanted to get across to the other woman. This wasn't about sex, although Carla would be lying if she said the thought of exploring Lisa didn't turn her on. But no, this was about connection and about being there for each other in the ups and downs of life. That was what she wanted to try and explain.

It took seven bits of paper before Carla was finally happy with what she'd written. She'd alternated green and blue for each paragraph, and underlined words in orange. It all felt silly, but she hoped it slightly relaxed what would otherwise be quite a serious letter.

Reading it through one more time, she put it in an envelope with Lisa's name on the front. She could push it through the letterbox on their way to the airport. That way she'd know it had got there.

Sealing the envelope before she had a chance to change her mind AGAIN about what she'd written, Carla headed home to get changed and check her bag was properly packed for her trip. This trip would do her the world of good, she knew it would. And when she returned...maybe she could finally find out where she stood with Lisa.

Chapter Text

Dear Lisa,

It seems strange writing to you. It's 2024! Who hand writes letters these days? Please don't screw this in a ball until you've read it through at least once. Please at least do me the courtesy of hearing me out.

I don't really know where to start. With an apology, I guess. It was stupid of me to try and kiss you like that. I never intended to, you know. I'd decided to tell you how I felt about you and I came back to the flat with the intention of talking to you. But then, there you were, half-dressed and I'm only human, Lisa! You're gorgeous and you were stood in my kitchen doing up that shirt and I just fancied you so much!! I've never been good with words. I'm more of an actions girl. In that moment I couldn't think about anything other than kissing you. But I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it like that. I should have sat you down and talked to you. I am sorry for how I handled it.

What you said about me satisfying my curiosity and wanting a quick shag, both of those things are so far off the mark. I'm not going to lie, you really hurt me with some of the things you said. You made out that I just wanted to get my leg over or wanted to experiment with a woman. Neither of those things are true. I have liked you for weeks. Months probably. I didn't see it for what it was to start with. We got on well and I liked spending time with you and I thought that's all it was. But then I realised that I was thinking about you a lot. I wanted to spend more and more time with you and I wanted to see you smile. I wanted to be the one that made you smile. Then that night in my flat after that bloke threatened me at Underworld and you came to rescue me, that's when I really realised that I liked you as something more than a friend. Your insinuation the next day that I was a tourist really hurt me and I decided there was no point trying to make you understand, because you clearly didn't like me back. But I couldn't help the way I felt. The way I feel. I loved making you smile when I bought those festival tickets. But OMG Lisa you called me a good mate that day and I felt ill. I sometimes find it difficult to read you and I still clung on to some hope that maybe you had feelings for me. So, getting back to THAT day, I just couldn't take it any more and I knew I had to tell you. And that's where it all went wrong.

So I guess you aren't interested in me. Maybe the reason you thought I just wanted a quick shag is because you've heard about my history with men. I'd be lying if I said I've never had a one night stand, but I honestly haven't slept with anyone since Peter left. I'm not looking for a bunk up. That was never what I was looking for from you. I know you've not been with anyone since Becky and that it would be a big thing for you. I like you, Lisa. And I wish more than anything that you liked me too because I think we'd be great together. But you can't force feelings that aren't there and I wouldn't want you to.

Where does that leave us? I don't want to lose you Lisa. If you don't see me as girlfriend material, or you just don't like me like that, I still want to be your friend. Does that sound a bit sad? I don't know, maybe it does. But spending time with you makes me happy and I'm not prepared to lose that without a fight. I will get over my feelings with time and I promise I'll never try to kiss you again.

So that's it. I hope you're still reading. I'm off to Ireland this evening with Ryan to spend Christmas with Michelle. I hope you and Betsy have a lovely Christmas.

Hopefully I'll see you when I get back. Text me if you want to go for coffee or something.

Carla
xxxx

Chapter Text

Christmas morning. Carla stretched her arms and legs as much as the small single bed in the box room allowed. She wasn't complaining. Ryan was sleeping on the sofa. Lying there in the peace and quiet, she looked at the clock. 08:13. Her mind wandered and she couldn't help but wonder what Lisa was doing. Was she still asleep? Had she been up since 6am cooking a feast? Was she one of these crazy people who did a Park Run on Christmas morning, wearing a Santa hat? The thought of that brought a smile to Carla's face. Despite everything that had happened, she still smiled when she thought about Lisa.

The letter had been pushed through the letterbox on the way to the airport. Carla had made Ryan do it, just in case Lisa opened the door and caught her in the act. She hadn't heard from Lisa since and, although that didn't surprise her, she still felt a tightness in her chest at the thought that Lisa might've tossed it in the bin without reading it. Carla's fingers burned to send a "Merry Christmas" tweet, but she couldn't. She'd laid her soul bare in that letter. If that didn't prompt a message from Lisa, there was no hope of a reconciliation. If only she'd never tried to kiss her. What a mistake that had been. If she'd just left it alone, perhaps she'd have been spending Christmas with Lisa and Betsy, just as friends, the three of them eating pizza in their pyjamas and drinking bucks fizz.

Carla shook her head, trying to rid herself of these thoughts. There was no point of dwelling on it. Grabbing the towel Michelle had given her, she headed to the bathroom for a shower.

"Aw, Michelle that's lovely!" Carla smiled and held up the navy shirt she'd just opened.

"I've got the receipt, if you hate it. You know me, I'll not be offended."

"No, I love it. Thank you." Carla reached over to give her friend a quick hug.

They were having a lovely morning. There was Christmas music playing and they were all sat around in comfy clothes. Carla had managed to put the events of the last month out of her mind and the change of scenery was really doing her good.

Passing her present to Michelle over, Carla grinned. "I hope you like this. It's a bit daft."

Michelle ripped the paper off her present to find a Wham t shirt. Tipping her head back, she laughed raucously, setting Carla off.

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Are you two OK?"

"Your mum was a huge Wham fan in primary school. She thought she was gonna marry George Michael."

"Ha! Not sure you'd have been his type!" Ryan smirked.

"One Christmas she asked for a Wham t shirt and..." Carla couldn't get her words out for laughing, gripping Michelle's hand tightly.

"Oh my god, don't make me laugh like that. My pelvic floor can't take it!" Michelle was wiping tears from her eyes.

"And...and...on Christmas Day she turned up on my doorstep...my mam never paid the phone bill so we got cut off...so your mum came round and..." Carla took a deep breathe, trying to stop laughing. "She'd got a t shirt, but..."

"It was...it was..."

"Spandau Ballet!" Carla was doubled over.

Ryan looked between them. "Hilarious."

"Oh Ryan, it was so funny."

Michelle shook her head, smiling at the memory. She pulled the t shirt over her head.

"Thank you! I love it!"

Carla looked between Michelle and Ryan, thinking about how lucky she was to have them both in her lives. She couldn't even think when she'd last laughed til she'd cried. Between Peter leaving, Roy getting locked up and now all this heartache with Lisa, it had been quite a hard year. This trip away had been exactly what she'd needed.

By late evening they'd all had far too much food and were collapsed on the sofa, drinking Amaretto.

"So what's new with you, then?" Michelle turned to Carla. "No men on the horizon?"

Carla caught Ryan glancing over at her.

"There was a bloke in the Rovers the other night. Bought me a few drinks."

"Oh yeah?" Michelle sat forward, interested. "And?"

"And nothing. I turned his offer of dinner down."

"Why? Not your type?"

"No, he was...nice..."

"But?"

Carla sighed. "I...oh, it's complicated."

Ryan looked at her more pointedly. He stayed silent.

"What are you two not telling me?" Michelle looked between them.

"I don't really know where to start, Michelle. I've got myself into a bit of a...situation. It's a long story."

"I'd better fill our glasses up, then."

Michelle went to the kitchen to replenish their glasses.

"You don't have to tell her, you know. If you don't want to talk about it. Make something up. I'll not rat on you."

"Nah, it's ok, Ryan. Your mam's my best friend. If anyone can give me advice, it'll be her. She'll probably give me a clip round the ear and tell me not to be so stupid."

"Why?"

"Coz I'm making a fool of myself, aren't I? Pining and chasing her around."

"Chasing who around?" Michelle reappeared, setting their drinks down.

"Right, so...there's this detective...she was the one who arrested Peter when he killed Stephen Reid. She was also the one who arrested Roy. Every time anything happened on the street, it was her who came sniffing around." Carla sighed. "And, somehow, we became friends. She's had a hard time. She's a single mum and struggles to parent a teenager and juggle working at the same time."

"And...? I thought we were talking about your love life."

"Yes, well..."

Michelle looked at Carla, perplexed. "You're presumably not having a thing with this woman, are you?"

"Nope. Definitely not having a thing with her." Carla sighed.

"What am I missing?" Michelle was looking between Carla and Ryan, still trying to work it all out.

"I really like her, Michelle. Like really like her. I want to be around her all the time. And she's so beautiful."

Michelle stared at Ryan, looking for confirmation that this wasn't all a big joke.

"So you are having a thing with her?"

"No. She's not interested in me."

"She is." Ryan interjected. "She's just scared to admit it."

"This is a lot to take in!" Michelle was sipping her drink, watching Carla curiously. "So what is it about this woman you like?"

"Oh god, Michelle, everything! She's funny, strong, fearless, intelligent, kind, protective and really bloody beautiful. I love being with her. I miss her when we're not together."

"Wow, you've got it bad. Why don't you tell her?"

Carla snorted. "I did. It did NOT go well."

"Maybe because you didn't tell her, did you?" Ryan raised his eyebrows, smirking. "What did you do?"

"I basically tried to kiss her, when she was busy buttoning up her shirt, and told her not to get dressed." Carla shook her head. Every time she had to relive the experience, it hurt her a little bit inside. "I totally misjudged it."

"So you think she's not interested?"

"She is interested. I don't know her that well, but I can see the way she looks at her." Ryan turned to his mum. "Lisa is as into Carla as the other way round. But she lost her wife a few years ago and she's really guarded."

"Well, I can't say I'm not surprised, Carla! But if you think she can make you happy, then go for it!"

"I've tried!"

"Well try a bit harder! You're Carla Connor! If you think she likes you back, don't let her go."

"Don't you think I've tried? Every time I try and speak to her, she pushes me away. She won't reply to my messages. It's hopeless."

"Well, we can see what she says about your letter, can't we?" Ryan turned to explain to his mum. "She wrote her a letter and stuck it through Lisa's door on the way to the airport."

Michelle just stared at the two of them, shaking her head. "I can't believe all this has been going on and neither of you thought to mention it to me."

"Sorry, I just felt...a bit silly. I'm almost 50 and I've just had my heart broken by a WOMAN who I thought was my friend. I don't even know how it all happened."

Michelle shrugged. "I wouldn't complicate it all by worrying that she's a woman. I've never been with a woman, but plenty of my friends have. No one really cares about that, these days. I bet, if you actually got together, nobody would bat an eyelid."

"You're probably right." Carla sighed. "But it's not going to happen."

"Don't give up, woman! Ryan, tell her!"

"I agree, Carla. And I know the woman. She likes you, I know she does. Give her time and don't give up."

Carla smiled wistfully. Maybe they were right. She wasn't normally one to give up without a fight.

Lying in bed that night, Carla reflected on their words. When she got back to Weatherfield she was going to bide her time, but she wasn't giving up. Far from it.

The rest of Christmas week passed in a haze of mince pies and mulled wine. Carla wandered round the sales in Dublin, enjoying the change of scenery. It had been really refreshing to spend the week with Michelle. After opening up to her about Lisa, Carla had felt her mood lifted by Michelle's reassurance that Lisa would be lucky to have her. Her confidence had really taken a knock, having been repeatedly rejected, but her friend had found a way to boost her back up.

Getting off the plane in Manchester, Carla's heart sank. It was grey outside, the weather matching her mood. The trip to Dublin had been an escape from reality, but now she was back. She'd be back in the factory on Monday and back to the reality of her life. She hadn't heard anything from Lisa whilst she was away, and Michelle's words of encouragement were all well and good, but they didn't change anything. She would have no choice but to wait and see what Lisa did next and hope that there was some truth in the old saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'.

Heading through passport control, Ryan was uncharacteristically quiet. Carla wondered if he'd sometimes prefer to move over to Ireland with his mum. There wasn't much keeping him in Weatherfield these days.

As they stepped into the arrivals hall, Ryan stopped still.

"What? Ryan, are you OK?"

Carla saw the daft grin on his face and turned to look at where he was nodding.

Stood there, looking incredibly nervous, was Lisa.

Chapter Text

"Lisa!"

Carla stared, wondering if there was a possibility she had finally lost the plot and started hallucinating the blonde.

"Hi."

There was a nervousness to Lisa that Carla hadn't seen before. She was usually so sure of herself.

"Listen, Carla, I know I have no right to ask you this, but -" Lisa took a deep breath. "- could we go and get a coffee?"

"Hmm." Carla didn't know what to say. She'd been trying desperately for weeks to get Lisa to go for a coffee but, now, she felt annoyed that the other woman could saunter in and so casually ask her.

"Please." Lisa's voice was small and Carla's resolve cracked.

"Fine."

"I'll head back to the flat. Carla, give me your suitcase." Ryan took the small carry-on suitcase from Carla, giving her a hopeful smile before he headed off, leaving the two women alone.

"There's a Starbucks just across the road, if we go out that door." Carla gestured to one of the many exits from the airport.

Lisa nodded. Heading out of the door, the silence between them was painful. Lisa tried a couple of times to ask how their flight was, how Christmas had been. But Carla couldn't bring herself to make idle chitchat. The part of her that wasn't still annoyed at Lisa was terrified of what she was going to say. To say she'd been rendered speechless by the blonde's unexpected appearance was an understatement.

Pushing open the door to Starbucks, Lisa turned to Carla.

"Do you want to find a table and I'll order? What are you having?"

"I'll just have tea." Carla's head was fuzzy with all the thoughts swirling around. "Thank you."

Lisa gave a small nod and joined the queue, leaving Carla to look around for a table. It was busy with people just going on, or returning from, a holiday. Couples and groups of friends occupied almost all of the tables, but Carla eventually found a table in the corner and sat down. Taking a few deep breaths, she found herself second guessing what Lisa was going to say.

It was almost 10 minutes later when Lisa reappeared, juggling a large cup of coffee and a cup of tea.

"Why can't they ever give you a bloody tray?"

Carla stood up, gingerly taking the tea. As their fingers brushed, Carla's eyes snapped up, meeting Lisa's. The awkward silence returned as they both sat down. Eventually, unable to bear the painful silence any more, Carla spoke.

"Look Lisa, I don't mean to be funny, but you're gonna have to go first. You know how I feel. I laid it all out in that letter. Now it's your turn to talk."

"Yes." Lisa nodded, the whirring of her thoughts evident on her face. "Well...firstly, I need to apologise. I was absolutely awful to you that day. You didn't deserve it and you don't deserve the way I've treated you since then. I should never have spoken to you like that."

"Then why did you? I thought we were friends. I made a mistake, sure, but you were awful to me. You made me feel so small. Accusing me of taking advantage of you, like I'd ever do that..."

Carla looked away. She could feel tears threatening her eyes already. Fiddling with a napkin on the table, she inhaled deeply.

"I'm so sorry. I really am, Carla." Lisa reached out a hand but, thinking better of it, she left it resting in the middle of the table. "You took me by surprise. And my default reaction, when I'm caught off guard, is to put my walls up. To attack with words. I could hear these things coming out of my mouth and I didn't know how to stop them. I'm so sorry, I should have apologised. I should have been braver, but I couldn't face you. When I'm backed into a corner, I run."

"Don't I know it!" Carla sipped her tea, screwing her face up. "This really is terrible tea!"

Lisa let out a small laugh, her eyes still displaying her nerves, but her face lighting up.

"I prefer Costa, generally."

Carla shrugged. "I prefer Roy's."

Lisa looked at her across the table, holding her gaze. "Can we be friends again?"

The bottom dropped out of Carla's stomach. She knew she shouldn't have got her hopes up about what Lisa was coming here to say, but she couldn't help it. The detective was sitting there, shiny blonde hair cascading around her shoulders and casual jeans and jumper painting her in a soft glow. Carla would have given anything to have Lisa lean across this sticky table in a busy Starbucks and kiss her. But that wasn't what she'd come here to say. It was almost too much for Carla to bear and she had to fight to keep her bum on the chair and not bolt out the door.

"I've missed you." Lisa continued gingerly. "I've missed going to the pub and sharing a bottle of wine. I've missed laughing with you about something Betsy's done or some kind of comedy work anecdote. We were friends before all this happened and I'd really love it if we could go back to that."

Carla sat, staring at her terrible tea. Could she does this? Could she go back to being friends with Lisa? She'd said as much in her letter but, faced with it as a reality, the thought of pushing aside her feelings and spending time together platonically was causing her a physical pain in her chest. How had this even happened? How had she come to develop unrequited feelings for this woman? Carla had never had proper feelings for a woman in her life and, somehow, she'd completely fallen for this emotionally unavailable, yet devastatingly beautiful, tiny blonde woman. A woman who was sitting here telling her she wanted to be friends. But, as hard as the idea was that she would have to push aside her feelings to just be friends, the alternative was too much to bear. The idea of losing Lisa completely...no, she couldn't comprehend that.

"OK. You know how I feel about you and I'm not going to pretend I'm not disappointed that you don't have feelings for me, but if you don't then you don't. I wouldn't want you to pretend and make a fool of us both." Carla drummed her fingers nervously against the table. "If you want to go back to being friends, I'd really like that."

She smiled shyly at Lisa, their eyes meeting and a sense of relief palpable across the table. Lisa placed her hand gently on top of Carla's, stilling her fingers, which were still nervously drumming on the wood.

"I do have feelings for you."

Carla froze, her eyes searching Lisa's for a further explanation.

"I do. I've had feelings for you for months. Probably since that day you got into my car. You saw me in a way that no one had before. And you're gorgeous, Carla. How could I not have feelings for you?" Lisa sighed, retracting her hand from where it still lay on top of Carla's. "But I can't offer you more than friendship. I'm not ready for another relationship. Truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever be. Losing Becky has devastated my life. Everything changed in an instant. The future we thought we had mapped out was torn apart. The one person I thought I'd always be able to rely on was gone. Just like that. It made me see just how easily life can change. Becky held a piece of my heart and I'm never getting that piece back. The idea of giving another piece away...I can't cope with losing any more. These last 3 years I've had to rely solely on myself. I have to look after Betsy and I can't do that if I'm mourning the loss of another relationship. If we got together and it didn't work out, I just don't think I'd cope. I have to focus on Betsy and the job and I can't afford to take a chance on another relationship."

Carla stared down at the table, not able to bring herself to look into the mesmerising pale eyes of the woman baring her soul in front of her.

"I don't know if you know how hard it is to say no to you, Carla. But I can't commit to you. Some days it's a struggle just to get out of bed. If I gave a piece of myself to you and we broke up...I honestly don't know if I'd have the strength to keep going. Sorry..." Carla heard the woman audibly shake the emotion from her voice. "Sorry, I'm being dramatic."

Carla reached over and took Lisa's hand again, gently stroking the back of her hand with her thumb.

"Thank you for being honest." She knew her voice sounded small. Her disappointment was clear.

Lisa nodded. "Part of me thinks I'm making a huge mistake. You're so bloody gorgeous, Carla. And that day, when you told me not to get dressed..."

Carla couldn't help but laugh at the rueful smile of Lisa's face. Their eyes met, the wall between them slowly coming down.

"God, there was a huge part of me that was screaming at me to just drag you into your bedroom! I've not had sex for 3 years! And there you were, offering it to me. This really sexy woman, who'd just sauntered in with a confidence she probably didn't feel inside. I don't think you understand how hard it was for me to say no."

"Well you did a bloody good job at saying no! You more or less slapped me in the face."

"I know. And I'm sorry." Lisa sighed. "It wouldn't have ended well if we'd slept together. Well..."

Lisa's cocky smirk and her raised eyebrow caught Carla off guard.

"Well THAT would have ended well. I'd have made sure of it! But that's not what I meant." She shook her head. "I meant what I said a few months ago. I'd be hopeless at casual. We'd never have managed to be friends if we'd slept together."

There was a silence then that stretched on.

"I'd really love for us to be friends, Lisa."

The blonde's grin was wide and contagious and, for the first time today, Carla felt like she'd let her guard down completely.

"Me too. I'd really really love it."

"I love you, you know." Carla watched the blonde's smile falter at her words. "As a friend. Although I know it wouldn't have taken much for me to fall in love with you. But no, I mean that I really care for you. You're such easy company and I just love being around you. I wish that circumstances were different and you were able to take a chance on us as a couple, but life happens. It'll take me a bit of time to adjust my feelings, but I'll get there."

"You know, if ever I decide I'm ready to think about a relationship again, if you're still single then you'll be the first person I approach. Not that you'll be single for long, I'm sure. You'll have been snapped up long before I'm ready to think about dating again."

"We'll see." Carla smiled at the blonde across the table. "Thank you for being honest, Lisa. Thank you for not fobbing me off and making me feel I was stupid to think you'd have feelings for me."

Lisa shook her head. "I wish things could have been different."

"Me too." Pushing her awful tea back, Carla stood up. "I think I should head home."

Lisa nodded. She looked pensive, and Carla wasn't sure what she was going to say next. Gathering Carla into a hug, she held her really tightly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be what you need, Carla." Lisa's voice broke, thick with the emotion of everything that had been said.

Carla shook her head, her own eyes glassy with tears.

"I'm sorry I tried to get you into bed." She rolled her eyes, smiling. She was pleased they'd cleared the air.

"It would have been great, wouldn't it?" Lisa smirked playfully.

"Oh yeah!"

Carla hoped they'd manage to joke about it all, with time. Today felt like a real step forward, even if it was down a different path than Carla had hoped.

"Can I ask you something, though?" She looked curiously at the other woman. "How did you know what flight I was on?"

"I messaged Ryan last night. I wanted to know when you'd be home." Lisa smiled.

"Of course it was Ryan! I might've known he'd be involved!"

Chapter Text

Carla sipped her vodka and tonic, looking around the Rovers at everyone's happy faces. There was something about New Year's Eve that seemed to invoke a real sense of happiness in people. The thought of a new year, a new start, invigorated people. It always made Carla laugh that there were so many people who chose this one day of the year to make resolutions, as if a fresh start couldn't be made on any other day. Was 2025 going to be a fresh start for her? She knew she should use it as an excuse to put her feelings for Lisa behind her, but she was also well aware that it wasn't as easy as that. It would take time.

Random stuff seemed to happen to Carla all the time, and 2024 had brought her a number of challenges. She'd started the year alone, having pushed the love of her life away travelling, for his own good. Then she'd no sooner started coming to terms with that when Roy had been arrested for murder. The amount of sleepless nights she'd had over that, petrified that something would happen to him in prison. It had been so achingly frustrating, the way the police seemed so focussed on Roy, when all Carla wanted to do was bang their heads together and shout about his innocence. When she'd realised that Lisa wasn't doggedly going after him, Carla had softened slightly, realising that actually all the detective wanted was justice. She wasn't interested in a witchhunt. If anything, she'd seen how strongly everyone had protested Roy's innocence and unofficially took this into account. While it had all been going on, Carla had wanted to rip into the woman constantly but, looking back, she could see how much she'd really cared about the truth. Knowing Lisa far better now, Carla knew that this was who Lisa was. She was a good person. A good detective. Falling for the officer who'd arrested Roy, well that certainly hadn't been on her 2024 bingo card. But here we were.

Smiling across the table at Roy, Carla reflected on how much this man truly meant to her. He'd had her back so many times. It had been the least she could do to support him during the ordeal of the last year. She had to. Hayley would have been cursing her from above otherwise.

"2024 was quite a year, eh, Roy!"

"Certainly." Roy nodded. "For us both, I think. How are you doing? I can't help but notice that you've not been yourself over the last few weeks."

"Hmm." Carla was non committal.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain detective, would it?"

Carla sighed. "Yes. I've been tying myself in knots. But I think I'm starting to sort myself out."

"The two of you..." He paused.

"Yes, Roy?" she couldn't help but smile at his awkwardness.

"Well I can't help but wonder if perhaps the two of you harbour stronger feelings for each other than you might be willing to admit."

"Oh, I've admitted it, Roy! Believe me! But she shot me down."

Roy looked surprised. "I didn't know that. I've seen the two of you arguing, but it wasn't my place to enquire about why."

"Well, I'm sure the local gossips have told you I made a pass at her. About a month ago. Let's just say, she wasn't very pleasant to me after that."

"I had...erm...heard something about that. But I'm not one for engaging in idle gossip, as you well know." Roy looked awkward. "I'm sorry she wasn't very gracious in letting you down gently."

"Ha! She certainly wasn't gracious!" Carla shook her head. "But, don't worry, we sorted it out the other day. She apologised for how she spoke to me. We've agreed to try and go back to being friends."

"I have to say, as an outsider looking in on the situation, I'm more than a little surprised that she turned you down. I thought she was harbouring quite strong feelings for you."

"She's not ready, Roy." Carla sighed. "She's still grieving, and she wants to focus on Betsy."

"Maybe if you just give her a little time. I suspect she may change her mind."

"No, no I can't. It might take her a week, or a year, or she might never change her mind. All the while, I'll drive myself crazy. No, I have to try and move on from those feelings. For my own sanity."

Roy nodded pensively. Carla could tell he wanted to say more, but he decided better of it and she was grateful to him for holding his tongue. There was only so many times she could go over and over this. When she'd got back home on Saturday, she'd had to explain to Ryan about their conversation in Starbucks. Then she'd had to go over it again with Michelle over the phone. There was only so many times she could relive the painful conversation. It was time to put it all behind her.

Midnight had come and gone in a frenzy of confetti and declarations of "Happy New Year". Carla had enjoyed getting caught up in the festivities, but had decided to head home around 12:30 because her head was thumping. She suspected it was the stress of the last month finally getting on top of her.

Climbing into fresh sheets, wearing freshly washed pyjamas, she clicked her bedside lamp off. The screen of her phone suddenly lit up, illuminating the dark room.

Lisa.

Carla hadn't had a text from her for weeks. She could still see her awful drunken msssage looking back at her and she had an urge to delete it. But this evening's message from the blonde distracted her from the horror of her drunken text. Carla couldn't help but smile.

[Lisa] HAPPY NEW YEAR! 🥳 New Year, new start for our friendship? Me and Betsy wondered if you wanted to come round tomorrow and watch movies and eat pizza in our pyjamas? No pressure if you're not ready to see me yet. I know this is hard for you.

Carla suspected it was no easier for Lisa than it was for her. At least for Carla, there was nothing she could do. But, for Lisa, there was the added turmoil of wondering if she'd done the wrong thing. But they'd agreed to be friends and Carla wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to make that happen.

[Carla] Definitely! Let me know what time. I'll bring snacks.

Realising she'd missed something, she sent up a follow-up message.

[Carla] p.s. HAPPY NEW YEAR Swain ladies! ❤️

Carla stared at the screen, looking at the message she'd just sent. Shit! She shouldn't have sent a heart. She should have made it a smiley face. Or just nothing at all. What if Lisa read something into it? What if she was worrying that Carla meant something else by it. She couldn't send a third message, explaining the heart. Lisa would think she'd lost her mind.

Before she'd had too much time to overthink it, another message came through.

[Lisa] Perfect! 2ish?

[Carla] Great. Let me know if there's any particular snacks the two of you want.

Reassured that Lisa didn't appear to have read anything into the little heart, Carla put her phone down and turned over to sleep. Maybe they could make this friendship work, after all.

It was precisely 2pm when Carla pulled onto the Swains' driveway the next day. She'd decided to drive rather than paying extortionate New Year's Day taxi fares. It didn't seem like it would be a drinking sort of day, anyway. She'd decided just to wear her pyjamas to drive over, figuring, if she got pulled over, it wouldn't be the strangest sight the police had witnessed on New Year's Day. She'd thrown a hoody on and stuck her feet in her trainers and her decidedly questionable outfit was complete. Quite the juxtaposition, Carla had washed and blow dried her hair and had a full face of make up on. She had to laugh at herself for how she looked.

"Welcome to Swain Manor!" Betsy let her in, eyeing her black satin pj bottoms poking out the bottom of her hoody with a smirk. "Nice pyjamas!"

"Where do you want these?" Carla held up the two bags of snacks.

"Just through here."

Betsy led her through to the kitchen, where Lisa was facing the open door of the fridge, an open box of diet coke cans at her feet.

"Get your frigging head out of the fridge, you! What have I told you? There is nothing in there for you. The salmon is gone."

Carla looked at Betsy in alarm. Was Lisa losing her mind? Betsy snorted, alerting Lisa to their presence. She turned to face them, revealing who she'd been talking to.

Of course, the Swains had a cat. Carla laughed.

"God Lisa, I thought you were going mad. I forgot you've got a cat!"

"Carla, meet Potato."

"Potato?? Who the hell calls their cat Potato?!" Carla stared incredulously at her, unable to work out if she was joking. Meanwhile, the tortoiseshell cat eyed her with disdain, clearly still in a huff about the lack of salmon.

"Betsy?" Lisa smirked at her daughter.

"Yes yes, it was me. In my defence, mother, I was 6 when we got him. It's not my fault you let a 6 year old name a cat!"

Lisa laughed, turning to Carla. "She was annoyed that we'd told her she wouldn't be allowed to wear her Spiderman outfit to our wedding. We bought her a kitten as a bribe."

"Excellent parenting, right?" Betsy smirked.

Carla could see Lisa's face lit up, the memories of her wedding having bubbled to the surface. She couldn't help but smile back. This was nice. She could do this. She wanted to hear about Lisa and Betsy's life before. She couldn't hate Becky for preventing Lisa from moving on.

"Oh, if I'd been a parent, I definitely wouldn't have been above bribery. I definitely resorted to it a few times with Simon." She turned to Betsy. "Peter's son."

"Did you never fancy having kids of your own? You and Peter?"

Lisa had turned her back to Carla, returning to her task of stocking the fridge with cans of coke. Carla tried to keep her face arranged, but Betsy caught the hurt expression before she'd managed to banish it from her features. A twitch of her eyebrows suggested the teenager had clocked there was a story to tell.

"I er...I lost a baby."

Lisa whirled around suddenly, whacking her head hard on the fridge door.

"Fuck!" She clamped her hand to the side of her head, steadying herself.

"Jesus, are you alright?" Carla rushed over, pushing Lisa's hand to the side to check whether she was bleeding. Thankfully, there didn't seem to be any blood. Guiding Lisa to a kitchen chair, she sat her down.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lisa looked at Carla, her eyes shining with the horror of what she'd said. "God, I'm sorry! I should never have asked you that. Not in that way."

"How long ago was it?" Betsy stood awkwardly.

"10 years. She'd be 10 now."

"She?" Lisa's eyes stared right into her soul.

"Yeah, we found out. She was a girl."

"That must have been awful for the two of you."

"Oh I think Peter was a bit distracted." Carla didn't elaborate. It wasn't the time to admit her husband had struck up an affair with the babysitter on their wedding day. Or that the girl had been brutally murdered by Carla's own brother.

"Carla I'm so sorry!" Betsy threw her arms around Carla's neck, taking her by surprise. Carla wrapped her own arms round the teenager's waist, wondering how it would have felt to have had a teenage daughter of her own.

After that, they busied themselves emptying snacks into bowls and carrying them through to the living room. With Betsy occupied, Lisa caught Carla's hand.

"I'm sorry. I should never have just asked you like that, so flippantly. I had no idea..."

"It's not something I really talk about. I never wanted kids, you know? But, when I got pregnant, I came round to the idea. I had a lot of stress in my life at that time and I think it was all that that caused the..." Carla looked away. "Anyway, it was a long time ago."

"Still..." Lisa was still holding Carla's hand, their fingers loosely intertwined. "I am sorry."

Carla nodded, their eyes locked. Dropping Lisa's hand and looking away, Carla forced a lighthearted tone into her voice.

"Anyway, now I've got this sassy teenager in my life. There's only so much cheek I can take in one day."

"I can hear you, you know!" Betsy called from the living room.

"You were meant to!"

Heading into the living room, Carla turned to grin at Lisa, noticing the openness of her face. She looked relaxed at having Carla in her living room in her pyjamas. For the first time for ages, Carla felt entirely at ease in the blonde's company.

"How's your head?"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Bloody sore!"

Chapter Text

"Alright, you lot, settle down a second, will you?" Sometimes Carla felt it was like herding cats, trying to get her staff to do anything. "The Daltons order is due in a fortnight and it's a big job. We'll have to really pull our fingers out to get it done. Anyone who wants any overtime, speak to Sarah and we'll maybe sort out a couple of evenings where a few of you can work on a few hours. In the meantime, less chat, more knicker stitching! Thank you!"

"Well I won't be working any extra." Sean was first out with his response.

"That's why it's called voluntary overtime, Sean." Carla rolled her eyes.

"I'm always happy to help, Mrs Connor. You know me." Sally's face was always so eager.

"Me too. The girls have eaten me out of house and home over Christmas. And I've got the credit card to pay off." Fiz mused. "It'd be nice to do a few evenings extra, when the place is quiet and there's just a few of us here."

"Well I'm glad to see we've got a few volunteers. Sarah? Can you find a few dates that work for people? Ideally, I'd want 4 or 5 stitchers in each evening. I've got plenty of paperwork to be doing, so I'll probably be around. Thanks, everyone!"

Carla turned and headed into her office, the sound of footsteps following her. She turned to see Betsy stood just inside the doorway.

"You OK, Betsy?"

"I feel like I keep asking this, but what's going on with you and mum? One minute you're bezzy mates, then you try to sleep with her, then she's ghosting you, you wrote her a letter and now she's inviting you over for a pyjama party. I didn't even know you'd made up until she announced she was inviting you over! Are you together or...?"

"No no, definitely not. Did she not tell you? She made out that the two of you had jointly invited me over. Like you might have had some hand in it."

"Well it's not that I don't love spending New Year's Day with my boss, but no."

Carla scoffed. "Right. Well she turned up at the airport when I got back from Ireland and we went for coffee. She apologised for some of the things she said to me, I apologised for propositioning her and we have agreed to be friends again."

"Friends?"

"Yes."

"Just friends?"

"Yes Betsy. Just friends."

Betsy looked at Carla curiously. "But you still like her, right?"

"Well yes, but she doesn't want a relationship with me. So we're just gonna try and go back to how we were."

"Why doesn't she want a relationship with you? I've seen how she looks at you. She likes you. You like her. Simple."

Carla sighed. "I wish it was that simple, love. She's not ready. She's still recovering from losing your mum. And she wants to focus on you and her job."

"But that so ridiculous! Not the bit about mum, I get that. I'm still recovering too." There was a moment of vulnerability on Betsy's face, before it was replaced by the usual teenage sass. "But about focusing on me and the job. You were right, the other week in the car. I'll be moving out and whatever, and she'll be on her own."

"I don't think she's looking to the future. I think she's thinking about the here and now. And, right now, she feels she needs to focus on you." Carla shrugged. "I'm sure, eventually, she'll be ready to meet someone."

"But where will you be, then?" Betsy was starting to look upset. "I know I said I don't want anyone replacing mum, and I don't. But I know you'd never try to do that. It's not really your style, is it. But..."

Carla waited. Her heart was breaking with the emotion Betsy was choking on.

"I like you. You're cool, for an old person. And mum is happy when she's with you. Her face lights up in a way I've not seen for years." Betsy's eyes shone. "I can't let her throw it all away. I need to speak to her."

"No, Betsy." Carla was firm. She didn't want Betsy to meddle. She'd only make it worse. "You can't say I've spoken to you. She'll see it as a betrayal of trust. Promise me?"

Betsy shrugged and nodded.

"Can I ask you something, though?" The teenager looked shy, all of a sudden.

"Yeah?"

"I don't really have anyone else. Like people I can rely on for advice and that. People who would help me if I got in the shit...it's just me and Mum. And, once I'd had time to think about it all, I quite liked the idea of having you around..."

"Betsy, you can always come to me, if you've got a problem. Always. Whatever happens with me and your mam."

Betsy grinned. "Can I hug you? Is that weird?"

"It's not weird."

Carla cursed herself for not being more organised. She preferred to get a big shop delivered once a month and then just top it up in between with a the odd run to Freshcos, or even Dev's. But, somehow, in amongst Christmas and New Year and all the business with Lisa, time had got away from her. Suddenly the cupboards were bare. With the late nights in the factory coming up, Carla knew she'd have to be organised with her meals. She could cook up a vat of pasta sauce, maybe. That would help to see her through long days of Sally's incessant chatter.

Pushing the trolley aimlessly round a corner, Carla found herself getting bashed by someone else who hadn't been paying attention.

"Sorry!" A voice said, automatically. "Oh, hi!"

Carla looked up. Stood there, trolley empty apart from half a dozen bottles of wine and some ready meals, was Matthew. Matthew who she'd almost brought back to the flat.

His smile was as open and pleasant as Carla had remembered. He was casually dressed in a black jacket and jeans, his slight stubble giving him a 'lived in' look that Carla liked. She couldn't deny, she found this man attractive. If only he'd come into her life at a different time, when her heart wasn't tied in knots.

"Quite the balanced diet!" Carla smirked at the contents of his trolley. She was thankful that hers, so far, only contained fruit, vegetables and some chicken breasts. Usually, in these scenarios, it would contain frozen pizza, vodka and tampons.

Matthew laughed. "I've got a busy week coming up. I needed some stuff I could just throw in the microwave."

"You have to watch the amount of salt in those things though." Carla cringed. What was she actually saying to this man? When had she lost the ability to innocently flirt?

"Do you work for the British Heart Foundation?" He smiled, clearly unfazed by her terrible chat.

"No, I've...er, I've got kidney problems, so I try to be aware of these things."

Matthew nodded, an awkward silence starting to filter in.

"Anyway, I should let you get on." Carla wanted to escape as soon as she could. This was cringeworthy, to say the least.

"Did you sort it out with the cute but jealous blonde?"

Carla couldn't help but smile at his description. "We've just decided to be friends. It's for the best."

"Hmm..." Matthew considered what he was going to say. "In that case, how would you feel about that dinner?"

"Er..." Carla didn't know what to say. He was good looking. He seemed like a nice guy. He clearly liked her and didn't seem at all put off that she'd recently had a complicated situation going on with another woman. He'd been nothing but charming. But she couldn't. She knew she'd be stringing him along, at least until she managed to get over her feelings for Lisa.

"Listen, why don't I give you my number?" He smiled hopefully.

Carla didn't have a chance to respond. At that moment, all the Gods conspired against her. Clearly she'd been the devil in her former life because, rounding the corner, face like thunder, was Lisa.

Betsy stood next to her mum, looking awkward at being caught up in the situation. Lisa looked at Matthew like she might tackle him into the chilled poultry section. Meanwhile Carla had no idea what to say, or do.

"Listen, Matthew..." Carla started, not really sure what the end of her sentence was going to be. Thankfully, Matthew took the hint.

"I'm gonna head off. It was lovely seeing you again, Carla. And...er...you." He nodded at Lisa, which only served to further ignite the fury in the detective's eyes.

Watching him push his trolley away, Carla turned to face the Swains, aware that this was rapidly turning into a situation and a half.

"Oh, don't let me get in the way of your love life, Carla!" Lisa's tone was cold, her eyes hard and fixed on Carla's.

"Well, you've made it crystal clear you're not interested in a relationship with me, so..."

Carla suddenly felt angry. Angry that this woman had such a hold over her. She didn't want a relationship with Carla, for reasons that Carla knew were complex, but she didn't want anyone else to have her. That wasn't fair.

"You can't have it both ways, Lisa. If you don't want me, fine, you're entitled to feel however you feel. I'm a big girl. I'll get over it with time. But you can't be jealous if I speak to someone else. You don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me, is that right? Coz that's fair, isn't it?!"

Lisa turned to look at Betsy, who was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Keep me out of it." Betsy mumbled.

"Look love. What Carla said..."

"She's right, isn't she?" Betsy had found her voice, clearly relieved to have found an outlet for her feelings on the subject. "Carla likes you. You like her. For some reason, the two of you aren't together. So she's sniffing around Mr Ready Meal and you're ready to throw him in a cell to take out the competition. What's actually going on with you both?!"

"That's enough, Betsy!" Lisa's anger hadn't quite dissipated. "You don't know what you're talking about. I think we should go, and let Carla track him down and get his number."

"I don't want his blummin' number!" Carla was exasperated, and starting to feel increasingly embarrassed about having a domestic in Freshcos.

"I could see how you were looking at him. Why don't you just take him home with you right now? Open one of those bottles of Malbec he's got in his trolley!"

Carla was done with having abuse thrown at her. She wasn't going to take it.

"Piss off Lisa!"

Carla wasn't sure who was more shocked at her outburst - her, Lisa or Betsy. There was a silence that no one wanted to fill. Carla could feel the heat in her cheeks, and could see Lisa's similarly aflame.

Turning to push her trolley away, she looked back at Lisa.

"I turned him down. What does that say to you?"

Shaking her head, she left the blonde standing, bitter jealousy emanating from her, while Betsy stood next to her and processed what had just happened.

Chapter Text

Lisa lay on the top of her bed, the emotions swirling around inside her head. Pain. Jealousy. Bitterness. Regret. Frustration. Sadness.

Anger.

Anger at Carla for flirting with this man. Anger at him for being there, being available. But mainly anger at herself.

She was the one who'd told Carla they couldn't be together. Carla had offered herself up - emotionally, physically, sexually - and Lisa had said no. She said she wasn't ready. She wasn't. But what she certainly wasn't ready for was seeing Carla with this man.

Lisa wasn't naive. She knew Carla would meet someone else. She was an attractive woman. Not even 50 yet. She wouldn't be on her own indefinitely. Not like Lisa. But the thought of this man touching her...running his hands all over her body, over her breasts, between her legs...the thought made Lisa screw her eyes up tightly with frustration. But, if it wasn't him, it would be another man. Or a woman. Somehow the thought of that was worse. Lisa was fairly sure Carla had never been with a woman before, but she'd fallen for Lisa, hadn't she? She might just as easily fall for another woman. The thought of another woman's hair falling across her thighs as she lowered her mouth down to bring her pleasure...well the thought of that just made her feel ill.

But she couldn't. She couldn't be the person Carla needed. She couldn't offer herself up completely to Carla. Trust her with all of her emotions. Her pain. She couldn't allow herself to be loved like that. Couldn't allow Carla's name to slip from her lips as she came around her fingers. It was too much. The idea of having that and losing it was just too much to bear.

Feeling tears trickling down her cheeks, Lisa turned and put some music on her phone, the speaker bringing the room to life with the soft sounds of Spotify's "Yearning Mix".

Today had been awful. Seeing that man talking to Carla in Freschos, feeling the jealousy flame inside her and knowing it was written all over her face. Having a go at Carla and having the other woman bite back. This was it, wasn't it? The end of their friendship. Carla had agreed to put her feelings aside for the sake of their friendship, but what if Lisa couldn't do the same?

And then there was Betsy. She'd tried so hard to show Betsy that she was the most important person in her life. That she wouldn't move on from her mum. Ever. But, here Betsy was, declaring that she knew they had feelings for each other. How did she know? Was it that obvious? She'd been far nicer about Carla recently, and Lisa had assumed she'd realised there was nothing going on and got over Carla propositioning her mother. But, somehow, she'd observed the two of them developing feelings for each other. And she seemed OK with it.

Betsy was OK with it. Carla was OK with it. Why couldn't she be?

The song changed, a track playing that Lisa didn't know. There was something about beautiful songs with beautiful lyrics that drew Lisa in.

Lying in the stillness of the room, Lisa listened.

And listened.

This song had been written about her. Or for her, she wasn't sure. But what she did know was that these lyrics were exactly what she needed to hear.

Lisa sat up, rubbing the tears furiously from her face. A clarity came over her, as she ran her fingers through her hair. Enough was enough. She was fed up with torturing herself. If today had shown her anything, it was that life would pass her by if she didn't grab it with both hands.

In that moment, she knew what she needed to do.

Chapter Text

Carla paced around her kitchen. She was still annoyed at her encounter with Lisa at Freshcos. She'd been humiliated by the other woman. God knows what Matthew thought. He must think the two of them were completely insane. She'd been so annoyed that she couldn't finish her big shop, grabbing a bottle of milk on her way down the aisles and then heading to the checkout. So now she was at home and still had hardly any food. Sticking the kettle on, she grabbed her phone to see if she could get a delivery slot for tomorrow. Otherwise, she'd have to go back to Freshcos.

When she'd first arrived back home she'd exploded at Ryan, telling him every sorry detail of what had happened. For once, he'd listened patiently without interruption, sensing that the time for joking was not now. He'd reiterated to her that Lisa was scared, but this did nothing to settle Carla's frustration. Lisa knew how Carla felt. If she'd wanted her, she should have said so. But, time and time again, she doubled down on her insistence that she didn't want a relationship with her.

Unable to settle, Carla had gone for a shower but, for once, the pent up tension didn't wash away. In a very misguided decision, Carla had wondered if she could relieve the tension in a different way, slipping her hand between her legs as the water cascaded over her. But, as had been the case on multiple occasions recently, her mind had been flooded with thoughts of the detective. As her body had finally allowed her a release, her mind had betrayed her with daydreams of the blonde being here in the shower with her, strong fingers working her up expertly.

So here she was, stood in her kitchen an hour later, making tea. The tension had dissipated after her shower, but now she was left with a sadness that she couldn't shake. Carla still couldn't understand how the blonde had got under her skin so easily. Ryan had joined her on the sofa, sensing she needed the company.

Settling down on the sofa, Carla slowly and methodically filled her basket with items for her big shop, relieved to have got a slot for the following evening. She'd made sure to include plenty of wine. Something told her she'd been needing it, this next month.

Finally finished, Carla was in the kitchen washing their mugs when the buzzer went.

"I'll get it."

Ryan leapt up. Answering it, he turned to Carla, a question on his face.

"It's Lisa. Shall I let her in?"

"No!" Carla was alarmed. "No! I mean...I dunno!"

Ryan turned back to the intercom. "Come up!"

"Ryan!" Carla hissed at him. "What did you do that for? I don't want to see her!"

"Too late." Ryan shrugged, opening the front door.

Carla absentmindedly smoothed down her hair and set about drying the mugs she'd just washed.

"In you come. I was just heading out. I've got a couple of things to do." Ryan grabbed his jacket, making a hasty retreat.

Lisa was tentative in her arrival into the room, her usual air of confidence nowhere to be seen. Despite herself, Carla felt her heart melting at the sight of the other woman looking so dejected.

"Do you want a cuppa?" Carla's voice was even, the venom of their earlier conversation lost, but their usual casual friendliness not having returned.

Lisa shook her head, silently looking down. Her face gave away the fact she was ruminating heavily over something. The silence was too much for Carla to bear.

"Look Lisa, if you've come to have a go again, don't waste your time. I turned Matthew down, not that it's any of your -"

"I can't do it, Carla." Lisa's words came out in a rush. "My stomach was in knots, seeing you talking to him. The thought of you with anyone else makes me feel ill."

Carla scoffed, rolling her eyes. "So, what? We're back to you not wanting me, but not wanting anyone else to have me. It's not fair, Lisa. I don't know how you can't see that."

"I do want you."

Lisa's words hung in the air. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, their eyes meeting in an intense glance that spoke of confusion and of desperation.

"I do want you, Carla. Seeing you with that man, it made me realise. I like you and you like me. If I let this opportunity pass me by, I might never get another chance. I wasn't lying when I said I don't feel ready. But what if you're taken by the time I am? I'd never forgive myself for losing you. For losing the possibility of us. The idea of you with anyone else...it makes my stomach twist. I can't bear it. The thought of starting something with you terrifies me, but the thought of not starting something scares me more."

Carla stood, taking in Lisa's words. There was so much she wanted to say, but she could see Lisa still had more to say.

"I met Becky when I was 28. I'm 48 now. I don't know how to start a new relationship, it's been so long. It was always just me and her, and then me, her and Betsy. It was comfortable and familiar. I trusted her with every piece of me, every thought in my head." Lisa looked up, her eyes meeting Carla's. "I'm scared, Carla. Scared of the unknown. Terrified of getting hurt. What if we started something and then you changed your mind? Or a year down the line we split up? I don't know if I'd cope."

"Lisa -"

Lisa held up her hand, a gentle signal that she wasn't quite finished. Carla understood that. When she was mid flow, the most annoying thing was someone interrupting.

"Please. If I don't say it all, I'll chicken out." Lisa smiled timidly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, Carla. For constantly pushing you away. For turning you down repeatedly, even after you were so brave and wrote me that letter. Even after that, I couldn't take a chance. I was a coward. It took bitter jealousy to make me realise I was making a mistake. And now it's probably too late. I'm sure you've seen me in a whole different light now, and I bet you don't like what you see. I have no right to ask this of you, Carla, but will you give me another chance?"

Carla took a deep breath. Lisa appeared to be holding hers, waiting to hear what Carla had to say.

"I don't know what to say."

Lisa nodded sadly. "I understand. I've been so awful to you."

"I told you to piss off in Freshcos!" Carla managed a wry smile.

"I deserved it." Lisa smiled back, relaxing a little, as if she felt resigned to her fate.

"Lisa, I never expected to fall for you. It was a shock to me when I realised I had. But I couldn't get you out of my head. And it did my head in! I've never considered the possibility of being with a woman, but it was almost like that just wasn't important. It didn't matter that you were a woman. I wanted to be with you all the time and you made me happy and I fancied you. It was Ryan who made me realise I just needed to take the leap. And I knew there was a chance you'd say no. But the way you did it...you've been so horrible to me, since then."

Lisa nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

Carla sighed. "If you were scared, why didn't you just talk to me?"

Lisa shrugged, looking dejected.

"We were friends, Lisa. You could have been honest with me."

"I couldn't even be honest with myself."

Carla was slightly taken aback by how small Lisa's voice was. She wanted to wrap her arms around the other woman and hold her tightly. She wanted to make everything OK. But she didn't know if she could let her in. Had too much happened between them to even contemplate being friends?

She sighed. "You say you want me to give you another chance. But how do I know you won't change your mind again and push me away?"

"I won't." Lisa shook her head firmly, her face resolute. "I wouldn't."

"How do you know that? Earlier today you were encouraging me to chase Matthew down and invite him and his wine round here for the night!"

"I didn't actually want you to do that! I was lashing out!"

"Don't I know it! You've got a vicious tongue on you!"

Despite the seriousness of the situation, a tiny smirk formed on Lisa's lips, her eyebrows raising a fraction at Carla's choice of words.

Carla rolled her eyes. Despite everything, the slightest hint of flirtation from Lisa was enough to give her a flutter in her chest.

"I won't change my mind. I've thought about this all afternoon. I know that, if I don't give things a go, I could be passing on something great. I was listening to music earlier and a song came on that made me see that I needed to be brave. I need to fight for you, Carla."

"What if I've changed my mind?"

Carla could feel herself accepting the inevitable. She would never be able to say no to Lisa. It's what she had been dreaming of for weeks. But she needed to know that Lisa really would fight for her.

Lisa stepped a bit closer, the flirty smirk back on her face. "Have you?"

Carla smiled shyly, looking down. Lisa took another step closer, bringing herself to stand right in front of Carla. Tentatively, she took her hand, running her thumb over Carla's thumb ring.

Carla looked up, expecting the blonde to still be smirking at her. But the cocky expression was gone, replaced once again by the insecure hopeful stare of before.

"I don't know how to let my guard down, Carla." Lisa's eye contact was intense. She wasn't running away. She was trying to do exactly what Carla had asked of her: talk about her insecurities. Her voice came out as a whisper. "I'm scared."

"What are you scared of? I don't mean about the future, about us breaking up or whatever. I mean, right now. What are you scared might happen?"

"I don't know." Lisa looked away, continuing to rub her thumb absentmindedly on Carla's ring. "That I might kiss you and realise I can't do this, after all. That I'm not ready to live around my grief and move forward. Or that you might kiss me and realise you've made a big mistake. That you might hate it."

"Hey." Carla reached out, running her finger gently along Lisa's jaw, gently turning her back to face her. "I could never hate kissing you."

Lisa gave a small laugh. "How would you know? You've never done it!"

"Well, I better give it a go, then!"

Carla watched, as Lisa's eyes flicked down to her lips and back up. She saw the blonde flick her tongue over her bottom lip.

This was it. Carla knew she needed to be bold again. It had backfired before, but this was different. They'd laid bare their insecurities. Lisa wanted this, Carla was certain this time.

Reaching back up to the other woman's jaw, Carla slowly caressed her face. Lisa sighed, closing her eyes. Carla could feel the pulse racing under her fingers and could feel her own breathing becoming laboured.

"Please." Lisa whispered.

"Tell me what you want." Carla matched her hushed tones, feeling her heart thudding in her chest.

Lisa opened her eyes, her startling greeny grey eyes staring right into Carla's soul. Leaning slightly forward, she almost closed the gap between them, her breath warm again Carla's face.

"Kiss me."

It was all the invitation that Carla needed. Leaning in slightly, she pressed her lips gently against Lisa's, marvelling at how soft they were. She felt Lisa let go of her hand and wrap her hands around her waist. Shifting her own hand slightly, she ran her fingers across Lisa's scalp, grazing her nails gently through her hair.

Carla felt a throbbing need in her core, relieved that she'd at least taken the edge off that earlier, in the shower. Her mind wandered to her daydream of Lisa being in the shower with her and the heat inside her grew. It was all she could do not to moan when she felt Lisa's tongue running across her bottom lip. Parting her lips, she granted her access. The sensation of their tongues dancing together almost took her breath away. She could do this forever. She wanted to do this forever. Suddenly she had the urge to tell her that.

"Lisa." It was almost a whisper against her lips.

The blonde pulled back abruptly, anxiety flickering in her eyes.

"Hey, it's ok." Carla played with a few loose strands of blonde hair. "I'm not going anywhere. That's kinda what I wanted to say. I definitely don't hate kissing you!"

As quickly as it had come, the anxiety left Lisa's eyes. The borderline cocky expression was back. "Oh yeah? Tell me how much you don't hate it."

"I think you can probably guess!" Carla smirked back.

Leaning back in, Carla kissed her again. With confidence. Putting both hands on Lisa's denim clad bum, she pulled her tightly towards her, feeling the blonde adjusting her legs slightly to push her thigh against her core. Carla felt a sharp sensation shoot straight through her, a sudden urge coming over her to grind herself again Lisa's thigh. Unable to help herself, she moaned into the detective's mouth.

Lisa pulled back, her expression cockier than ever. "Definitely not hating it, then!"

Carla rolled her eyes. "No! But if we don't stop here, you'll end up in my bedroom in a minute, and I think we've both had enough excitement for one day, don't you?"

The blonde smiled widely, nodding. "I should go. I think we both need time to process everything."

Leaning in for a more chaste kiss, Carla nodded.

Lisa turned towards the door. Pausing with her hand on the handle, she looked back at Carla.

"Are we doing this, then? Us, I mean."

"We're doing this."

Lisa smiled at her, one last time, and Carla felt an overwhelming feeling of contentedness.

"I'll text you." Lisa spoke softly, and Carla nodded.

The door closed behind the detective and Carla flopped down on the sofa, her head still swimming with the events of the day.

"Flippin' heck!"

Chapter Text

Carla awoke with a nervous excitement in her tummy. It took her a few seconds to realise why, and then a broad smile swept across her face. Lisa. They'd sorted things out, finally. And, not only that, they'd agreed to give things a go. Today they were going on their first date. Dinner at a gastropub on the other side of Weatherfield. Carla had purposely chosen somewhere away from the street, wanting their first date to be away from prying eyes.

Picking up her phone, she looked at the messages from last night.

[Lisa] That's me home. Thank you for giving me another chance, Carla. I really thought I'd blown it.

[Carla] Thank you for telling me how you feel - I know it wasn't easy for you. I won't hurt you Lisa, I promise. I'm serious about us giving things a go

[Lisa] Is it uncool to say I'm really excited?

[Carla] I dunno, is it? I don't do playing it cool. I thought you'd have realised that by now!

[Lisa] In that case, I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!!

[Carla] hahahaha you're ridiculous! But, for the record, I'm so fucking excited too! Is it too soon to ask you on a date?

[Lisa] Ask away!

[Carla] Lisa Swain, will you go on a date with me? Nothing too fancy!

[Lisa] I'd love to. Where? When?

[Carla] Tomorrow too soon? I don't do playing it cool, remember! And I want to kiss you again!

[Lisa] Lol tomorrow is perfect. Where are you taking me?

[Carla] The Hawthorn? Pick you up at 6.30?

[Lisa] Perfect 😊 my first First Date in 20 years

[Carla] Oh god! No pressure, then!

[Lisa] haha no, no pressure at all. It's just you and me, Carla. I can't wait to see you again

[Carla] Me neither. I can't believe this is actually happening

[Lisa] Same!

[Carla] We should go to sleep. Plenty of time to chat tomorrow

[Lisa] OK 😊 see you tomorrow!

Carla smiled. She couldn't wait for tonight.

Carla glanced at the time. 5 o'clock. Still plenty of time to get ready. She selected a playlist of singalong 80s and 90s hits and started rifling through her wardrobe. She had no idea what to wear. She wanted to show Lisa she'd made an effort for her. But the Hawthorn wasn't a Michelin Star kind of place and, apart from anything else, she didn't want to scare Lisa off by coming on too strong. Especially if Lisa herself turned up in jeans and a t shirt. She'd never seen the detective in anything other than jeans and a jumper when she wasn't in her work attire. Although it was clear from her neatly pressed shirts that the blonde had a keen eye for detail.

Flicking through the rails, Carla surveyed the options. Trousers or a dress? She hardly ever seemed to wear dresses these days, unless you counted tunic style dresses, with leggings and chunky boots. Maybe Lisa would like to see her in a dress. It felt strange to finally be able to acknowledge that she cared about the other woman's opinion of her. She'd tried to hide it, even deny it to herself, for so long. It was freeing to admit that she liked Lisa. That she felt a flutter of excitement at the thought of the blonde looking her up and down, liking what she saw.

Selecting a plain black sleeveless dress and a long grey cardigan, Carla slipped them on to see how she felt. The dress was A-line, showing off her slim waist and falling around knee length. The cardigan was long and loose-fitting, giving an air of casualness to her more formal dress. Mulling over her various pairs of tights, she eventually decided against all of them, aware that she might regret opting for bare legs in January.

Outfit chosen, Carla sat down at her dressing table to sort out her hair.

At precisely 6.30pm, Carla pulled up on Lisa's driveway. She'd driven round the block twice, not wanting to be early. She got out of the car and started making her way up to the front door, the nerves swirling in her stomach now. She felt ridiculous. This was just Lisa. She'd spent many evenings with her, laughing and chatting easily. Tonight didn't need to be any different.

Except this was a date. Except Lisa was looking like THAT!

Carla watched the blonde step out of the door. She was wearing black slim-fitting tailored trousers, ending just at her ankles. A cream lacy top peeked out from underneath a deep purple blazer. But, perhaps most striking was Lisa's make-up. Her smoky eyeshadow made her eyes pop even more than usual. Carla couldn't help but stare at her. She looked incredible.

Lisa looked shyly at Carla. "You look beautiful."

"You look..." Carla looked her up and down, lost for words.

The blonde looked nervous. "Do I look OK? I was a bit worried I looked.."

"What? Gorgeous?" Carla wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Like Willy Wonka!"

Of all the things she thought Lisa was going to say, it wasn't that! Carla tipped her head back, laughing deeply.

"Jesus, Lisa. Don't make me cry my mascara off before we've even got to dinner! No you don't look like Willy Wonka! Bloody hell!"

Pulling Lisa tightly in towards her, Carla kissed her lightly on the lips. Truth be told, she'd been nervous about kissing her again. But, now that it'd come to it, she had no idea why. Taking Lisa's hand, she went to lead her to the car, but found herself being pulled to a stop.

"You OK?"

"Can we take a first date selfie?"

Lisa's hopeful little smile was adorable. Carla would do anything for her. It was astounding to think that, only 24 hours earlier, they'd had a blazing row in Freshcos and Carla had venomously told her to piss off.

Putting her arms around the smaller woman's shoulders, Carla leaned in. They took several. One with their faces side by side. Another with Lisa resting her head on Carla's shoulder, smiling contentedly. A third of the two of them kissing. Carla couldn't believe the ease with which Lisa smiled at her, no evidence of nerves on her face. Gone was the anxious woman of yesterday, her head swirling with feelings of guilt for her late wife and her fear of having her heart broken. This woman was playful and silly and, Carla wasn't afraid to admit, really cute.

Becoming aware that they were at risk of missing their reservation, Carla walked round to the passenger side of her car, opening the door.

"Come on, Willy Wonka, we don't want to be late."

Lisa stuck out her tongue, running her hand idly across Carla's bum as she slid into her seat. It gave Carla a thrill, to think that Lisa was attracted to her. That she wanted to touch her. She smirked at Lisa, who looked back with a faux innocent look on her face.

"What?"

"You'll be the death of me, Lisa Swain."

Getting into the driver's seat, Carla reversed onto the street.

Dinner went well. There was no doubt about that. Conversation had flowed easily, despite Carla being on the sparkling water all night. They'd settled happily into slightly flirtatious banter and Carla couldn't have been happier. There was part of her that was waiting for Lisa to panic and run away. But, so far so good.

Getting into the car, Carla headed back towards their part of Weatherfield. They were reaching the point where she'd have to turn off to get to Lisa's, and Carla realised they hadn't spoken about how the night was going to end. She wanted Lisa, in every which way possible. A glass of wine or two to relax and Carla would love to invite Lisa into her bedroom. She wanted to have sex. But they hadn't spoken about it. Maybe it was too soon. As much as Carla couldn't wait to experience that level of intimacy with Lisa, she also wanted to do things properly. She didn't want to rush things.

Looking briefly at the blonde, she smiled. "Are you wanting to come back to mine?"

"No."

Lisa's clipped tone took Carla by surprise. She tried to gauge the other woman's expression, but she was looking out of the window, avoiding Carla's eye.

"OK. Shall I just drop you home, then?"

"Yes please."

There was a silence, then, and Carla didn't know what to do with it. They were nearly at Lisa's.

"Are you OK?" Carla tried tentatively.

"Yes, I'm fine. Honestly. I just need to get home to make sure Betsy is alright."

It was an excuse and Carla knew it. She wasn't sure what had gone wrong. They'd had an amazing evening. Their first date was everything Carla could have hoped for. Lisa was easy company and incredibly easy on the eye. She'd shamelessly stared at Carla when she'd taken her cardigan off, stroking her hand gently down her upper arm. It made Carla shiver. But it was when she'd run her foot up the back of Carla's calf that Carla had really gasped. She had been glad of her decision to have bare legs. Lisa was flirty and Carla couldn't get enough of it. But something had changed in the last 5 minutes. Lisa seemed guarded and closed off again.

Pulling onto the driveway, Lisa barely waited until the car had stopped moving before she opened the door.

"I had a lovely time, Carla." She leaned over to kiss Carla quickly. Her smile was genuine, but Carla could see she was holding back. "I'll text you and we can make plans to go out again. If you'd like?"

"I'd love that." Carla tried to keep the nerves out of her voice. Something was wrong, but she didn't know what.

Reaching out to tuck an errant bit of hair behind Lisa's ear, she smiled, trying unsuccessfully to hold the blonde's eye contact.

"I'll see you soon, then."

With a final smile, Lisa got out of the car and went into the house, turning briefly to wave.

Carla drove home, mulling it all over. Did she need to be worried? They'd had a great evening. Lisa was clearly attracted to her. She'd laughed and flirted and it had all been so easy. But then, in the car, she'd shut herself off, her smiles not quite reaching her eyes as she got out of the car. Carla couldn't help but worry that she was regretting it all. Or that her guilt over Becky was coming to the fore. Maybe that was it. Carla hoped it was something she could help her work through. As long as Lisa didn't bolt, as was her usual tactic when things went wrong.

Letting herself into the house, she dropped her keys and went to put the kettle on. Deciding to take the bull by the horns, she dialled Lisa's number, but was fairly unsurprised when she didn't answer and her voicemail kicked in.

"Lisa, will you give me a call. I just wanted to check you're OK. I had a great evening. Please, call me back. OK. Bye!"

Carla hated leaving voicemails. It always felt awkward and she always said the wrong thing. Not enough, or too much.

She left her tea brewing and went to put her pyjamas on. She'd had fancy underwear on, just in case, and a thought flitted through her head that she might never have an opportunity to show the other woman.

No, she couldn't think like that. Lisa was just having a blip. A momentary worry that she was doing the wrong thing. Everything would be fine, wouldn't it?

Taking her tea through to the bedroom, she sat on her bed, flicking through the selfies she'd taken. She'd promised to send the best ones to Lisa, and she selected a few to forward on. Pausing, she wondered if this was the wrong thing to do, if the other woman was feeling guilty. But she couldn't second guess things. Composing a quick message, she sent them over.

[Carla] These are the best ones. We scrub up OK, don't we! You looked gorgeous tonight. I couldn't keep my eyes off you. Please give me a ring when you can. Something was bothering you, and I'd really like to help if I can. I'm in my pjs with a cup of tea. Hopefully you are too.

Around a minute later, her phone rang. Simultaneously, feelings of relief and nerves washed over her. She was glad that she wasn't getting ghosted, but there was a part of her that was worried Lisa was going to panic and run.

"Hi"

"Hi."

"Lisa...are you OK? Are we OK? You just seemed a bit distant..."

Lisa sighed. Carla held her breath, hoping that this wasn't over before it had begun.

"I had such a good time, Carla. It was so lovely. I couldn't believe how easy it was. I didn't think I was ready to go there with anyone, but...I dunno...it didn't feel weird with you. It was just you. Maybe we've actually been dating for weeks!"

Carla rolled her eyes. That's exactly how she'd felt, hence her misplaced confidence on "Don't Get Dressed" day.

"I had a great time, too. And, you're right, it is just me. We're just us. Like friends who fancy each other!"

Lisa laughed down the phone. The sound made Carla's heart flutter. It was such a beautiful sound.

"So are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

"You'll think I'm being silly."

"No I won't. I promise, Lisa. If there's something bothering you...if there's something I did wrong -"

"It's not you. I promise, it's not you. It's me...I got scared."

"Of what?"

"Wanting you. Of you wanting me."

"Why does that scare you?"

"Because...God Carla, I'm being so ridiculous. Everything was going so well and, when you asked me back to yours..."

"Mmmhmm?"

"I am so attracted to you and I want to be with you and go to bed with you and make you feel good but..."

"But?"

"I'm not ready."

Lisa sounded dejected, her voice small and anxious. Carla wished she was there to give her a hug.

"There's no rush, Lisa, really. I'm more than happy to wait. Although, I'd have happily had sex with you tonight, and I actually had really nice underwear on, just in case!"

Lisa groaned on the other side.

"Carla! Bloody hell! Maybe..."

"Yeah?"

"Maybe you could send me a photo?"

Jesus!

"I've taken them off now, sorry. I've got comfy pants and pyjamas on now, I'm afraid."

"Shame! Another time, then!"

"You're a dark horse, Lisa Swain!"

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Carla!"

"And there's plenty of time for me to find out."

"You're not upset I didn't come back to yours? That I'm not ready yet?"

"Am I upset that you didn't want to have sex on our first date? No, darling, I'm not. There's no pressure. No hurry."

"Thanks. I'm sorry for not just saying all this in the car. I panicked."

"But you've told me now and that's what matters. You didn't run away."

"Thanks, Carla. Listen, I should go. Betsy is dying to speak to me."

"Does she know you were with me? I forgot to ask you if you'd told her!"

"Yeah, she knows. She's been really lovely about it. Really surprised me, actually. It's like she's known about us for ages."

"She has...kind of. She was the one who suggested I write you a letter."

"What?!"

"You're not mad, are you? Please don't be angry. She realised weeks ago that I really liked you. She was dead against the idea initially. I think she was worried I was trying to muscle my way into your family. But she came round and then, when I said you weren't returning my calls, she suggested writing to you. I didn't let her read it, or anything."

"Wow...that's a lot to process."

"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner."

"It's ok. If it's helped her be OK with it..."

"So what did she say about tonight?"

"She was so excited! She helped me choose what to wear and did my makeup. She really likes you, Carla."

"Well I really like her too. When she's not giving me lip! Anyway, I'll let you go. I'm sure she's dying to get the gossip!"

"Thanks. Maybe I can see you tomorrow?"

"I'd like that. I'll text you in the morning."

"OK. Bye then!"

"Bye!"

Carla put her phone down and slumped back against the pillows. Tonight couldn't have gone better.

What a turnaround in just over 24 hours!

Bring on tomorrow!

Chapter Text

Carla looked around the bar. It was one of those trendy places. Everything rustic. Drinks served in ridiculous receptacles. She'd half expected her cocktail to arrive in a plant pot but, thankfully, it was a mason jar.

It had been Lisa's choice. She'd told Carla it was relaxed and casual and not to bother dressing up. It had still left Carla with a clothes conundrum. How to impress your date without tarting yourself up a bit. She'd gone with a dark green top, with sleeves that stopped just above her elbow, and black jeans with boots. She felt confident and, so far, Lisa's eyes had raked over her no less than half a dozen times. Lisa, meanwhile, looked incredible. Carla had felt the pull of attraction low down in her stomach as soon as Lisa had stepped out of her front door. Her shirt sleeves were rolled up, revealing her strong forearms, and the few buttons left open at the top gave Carla a glimpse of what lay underneath. Every time she picked up her glass, Carla watched as the muscles in her forearm moved. She felt ridiculous to be attracted to this, but there was no denying that she was. Very much so.

Lisa held out her newest drink, smiling warmly at Carla when she raised her own.

"To us!"

"To us!" Carla smiled. "I still can't believe we're here. After everything you said in Starbucks."

Lisa shook her head. "I was a fool to push you away. I was scared of laying my heart on the line and dating again. But it's not like I'm on Tinder. It's just you! I already trust you."

"Good. Because you can trust me, Lisa. I promise. I can't guarantee things will work out between us, but I promise you I'll never intentionally hurt you. I'm serious about this. About you."

Carla traced her fingers up and down Lisa's arm. It was so nice to be able to finally touch her. She'd been dying to do it for weeks. Carla knew that she was an affectionate person, and physical contact made her feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"I'm sorry for being such a shit."

Carla shook her head. "Shall we just draw a line under it?"

Lisa nodded, leaning forward to capture Carla's lips in a gentle kiss. She tasted like gin.

Carla smiled. "You taste nice."

Lisa sat back abruptly, her eyebrows high on her forehead and her mouth open in an incredulous smile.

"You CANNOT say things like that to me! Not here!"

"What?" Realisation dawned. "Oh god! That's not what I meant! I wouldn't know, would I!"

"Not yet, anyway!" Lisa's eyes had darkened, a devilish smirk on her face.

"Holy shit, Lisa. You'll be the death of me!" Carla could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She'd always felt confident sexually. She was flirtatious and she knew how to use her words and her charm to get a reaction. But she was being played at her own game, here. Straight-laced, no nonsense Detective Sergeant Swain was flirting mercilessly with her and, dear God, was she getting a reaction! Carla shakily picked up her glass and took a big sip.

Lisa flicked her eyebrows up, smiling at Carla over the top of her glass as she took a sip. Kissing her briefly, she leaned in to whisper in Carla's ear.

"You taste incredible."

Carla couldn't help the shaky breath she exhaled, well aware that Lisa could see the response she was getting. She couldn't let herself be bettered. She was Carla Connor. This was ridiculous.

Leaning in, she made sure her lips were close enough to ghost across Lisa's ear as she spoke.

"I can't wait to taste you."

"Fuck!" Lisa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We're gonna need to change the subject before I drag you outside and round the back of the building!"

Carla laughed. "I definitely don't want our first time to be sordid, like that."

"Me neither." Lisa's face had softened, a shyness coming over her features that contrasted heavily with the flirty eyes of only a minute or so earlier. "I can't wait to be with you, you know, and make you feel good. I just need a bit of time. It's not that I don't want to."

"I know." Carla reached over to take her hand. "You don't need to explain yourself or justify anything."

Lisa laced her fingers through Carla's. "Thank you."

"Shall we change the subject?"

Lisa nodded, sipping her drink.

"Right, what's the latest with Mason? His low-life brothers were arrested, right? Betsy told me." Carla reached for the first topic that came into her mind.

"Yes. I can't really talk about it, not really. But it's looking likely that they'll both get custodial sentences. They've got a history."

"Oh, well that's something. Is Betsy still seeing him?"

"Yes." Lisa's jaw clenched. "I wish she wasn't, I'm not gonna lie. I know he's not like his brothers, and I know he's had a hard start in life, but I can't help but wish that Betsy had chosen someone a bit more...I dunno, sensible? Tame?"

Carla laughed. "Where's the fun in tame? I'm not tame and you like me!"

"True!"

Lisa gripped her glass with both hands, absentmindedly wiping at the condensation with her thumb. Carla couldn't help but stare at her arms, marvelling at how strong and sexy they were.

"Are you OK?" Lisa's voice was gentle.

Carla stirred, feeling a bit embarrassed to have been caught staring.

"You're blushing! What were you thinking about?" Lisa was grinning.

"Nothing!"

Lisa elbowed her gently. "Tell me!"

"I feel ridiculous!" Carla looked at the table, unable to look the blonde in the eye. "I like your arms."

"You like...what? You like my arms?"

"Yes." Carla mumbled, mortified.

Looking up, she saw Lisa was blushing too. She smiled bashfully. "What about them?"

"They're strong. I like your shirt sleeves rolled up like that."

Lisa looked at her for a second, her eyes sparkling. Taking Carla's face in both of her hands, she leaned in and kissed her quickly but firmly. "You're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, Carla Connor."

Carla smiled. "Do you want another drink?"

"Definitely! Same again?"

Lisa headed to the bar, leaving Carla at the table. For the second night in a row, they were having a really good night. She couldn't believe how comfortable she felt around Lisa. Even admitting she had a thing for Lisa's arms, as mortifying as that was, had felt easy. She didn't feel judged. She only hoped that Lisa felt equally as comfortable with her. Their dynamic had changed seemlessly from friends to something more. Lisa had been flirting with her all night and Carla loved it. She loved this side of her. Their argument in Freshcos seemed like a lifetime ago.

She looked up to see the other woman returning with a tray.

"What have you bought?"

Lisa grinned devilishly. "The same cocktails again. And jägerbombs."

"Flippin' heck!" Carla picked one up, rolling her eyes at Lisa. "I feel like I'm a bit old for jägerbombs."

"Pfff! Whatever! You're not old."

"I'm 50."

"What? You said a couple of months ago that you were nearly 50. Have you had your birthday?"

"Mmmhmm...the 3rd."

"Of January?!" Lisa stared at her. "You were round mine on the 1st! You didn't say anything!"

Carla shrugged. "It's not important. We weren't together."

"It is important Carla. It's your big birthday. We'll need to celebrate it, belatedly. Can I take you for a nice dinner, or something?"

"You don't have to do -"

"I want to! You're my...well..."

Carla couldn't help but smile at Lisa's sudden awkwardness. This was another subject they'd not spoken about.

"I'm your...?"

There was a nervousness to Lisa's smile, a question in her eyes. In that moment, Carla didn't think she'd ever seen her looking more beautiful.

"What do you want to be?"

The answer, if Carla was being truthful, was that she wanted to be Lisa's everything. But, somehow, it seemed like this might be coming on too strong.

"Is it too soon to say I'm your girlfriend?"

Lisa's eyes were glassy, and Carla wondered if this was all a bit much for the blonde.

"I'd really like that." Lisa said softly. "I'd like that a lot."

The rest of the evening had passed quickly and a few more drinks had been consumed. They'd jumped in a taxi around 11 o'clock and Carla had got out to walk Lisa to her front door.

The door opened before Lisa put her key in the lock.

"Alright boomers?" Betsy grinned cheekily at them from the doorstep. "Good night?"

"How many times do I need to tell you, missy? We're Gen X!" Carla shook her head.

Lisa looked a bit awkward. Carla suspected she was debating whether to kiss her on the doorstep, in front of her daughter, or just wave her away.

Carla decided to just take the decision away from her. She leaned in to kiss Lisa on the cheek.

"I'll text you when I get home." She whispered in her ear.

"You can invite her in, you know." Betsy rolled her eyes at them. "You're both adults. I'll put earplugs in."

Lisa blushed a deep shade of crimson. "Betsy!"

Carla held in her laugh. The teenager was so brazen. If Carla was honest, she loved the cheeky side of her. But Lisa was embarrassed, and Carla needed to side with her.

"Enough of your cheek, you! I'm heading home."

Lisa nodded. "Let me know you get in OK."

"Will do."

Carla had no sooner texted Lisa to say she was home when the other woman replied.

[Lisa] I had such a good night! I'm sorry about Betsy!

[Carla] Teenagers, eh! 🙄

[Lisa] Do you think I'm being daft?

[Carla] What do you mean?

[Lisa] Well Betsy clearly assumed we were sleeping together. Do you think I'm making too big a deal of it?

[Carla] It is a big deal! It's gonna be amazing, Lisa! You're just building the anticipation

[Lisa] Getting blue balls, are you? 😉

[Carla] Lisa!!!! Something like that! I can soon sort that out tho 😜

[Lisa] No! You can't! Wait til we're together

[Carla] Spoilsport!

[Lisa] When did you last...?

Carla debated whether to tell her the truth or not. But, as she'd discovered already this evening, she couldn't hide anything from Lisa.

[Carla] When I got home from Freshcos the other day

[Lisa] What??? You got yourself off after we had a blazing row??? Carla!!!!!

[Carla] I just felt really tense. I thought it might help.

[Lisa] Did it?

[Carla] Not really!

[Lisa] Were you thinking about me?

[Carla] What do you think?

[Lisa] 🥵🤭

[Carla] What about you, then? When did you last...?

[Lisa] Last night. After we stopped texting.

[Carla] Jesus! Really?

[Lisa] Yes. But I won't do it again. I want my next time to be with you.

[Carla] I want that too.

This level of openness was new to Carla. She'd sent Peter the odd sexy photo and there'd been a couple of times they'd engaged in mild sexting. But not this. Not talking about it, like they were chatting about when they'd last been to the cinema. It might be new, but Carla liked it. She was a fan of being upfront, after all.

Chapter Text

It had been two weeks since the infamous argument in Freshcos and Carla was still trying to process everything that had happened. It had been like whiplash. One day she was mourning the loss of the best friendship she'd had in years and the next she was kissing that friend and taking first date selfies. It was a lot to take in. They'd spoken at length about it all. Carla had apologised for propositioning Lisa without any preamble and, in return, Lisa had apologised profusely for constantly pushing her away. Carla was happy to put it all behind them. She knew Lisa. When backed into a corner, she either ran away or lashed out. Carla had witnessed both. But, this past fortnight, there had been a shift. Lisa had opened up, trying to explain her feelings even when things were hard.

Carla was heading to the factory for a day of mind-numbing paperwork. Lisa wasn't working, for once, and Carla had really wanted to take a leaf out of her book, but she had a lot to do.

Wandering along the road, she caught sight of Abi. She looked distressed, her eyes wild as she looked around.

"Hey." Carla kept her voice gentle, not wanting to frighten her. "Hey, it's me. It's Carla."

Abi didn't even register that she'd heard her. Muttering under her breath, Carla could make out the occasional "Seb" or "Mason". It didn't take a genius to work out what was on her mind.

"He's OK, you know. Mason. He's back with Tim and Sally."

Abi whirled around, her eyes darting about like she was looking for something.

"No no no..." Her voice became louder, the pain clearly audible. "No, Seb...no!"

Letting out a shriek, Abi sank to the ground, her body wracked with sobs. Carla bent down too, cautiously rubbing her shoulder.

"Hey, you're gonna be alright. It's just me."

"Seb!"

"Shhh...no love, Seb's gone. He's gone." Carla's heart broke. She didn't want to have to say these words. It was all too awful.

"No! No!" Abi stood suddenly, nearly knocking Carla flying. She whirled around again, looking behind her. "Mason! Don't hurt him...no!"

Carla got to her feet, holding onto Abi's arm gently. Abi was really distressed, and Carla suspected she was having a psychotic episode. She knew the signs. She'd lived it. It was a part of her life she'd been yet to share with Lisa, and she was worried it would put her off. But she couldn't worry about that now. Right now she needed to focus on Abi.

Getting out her phone, she tried to phone Kevin and then the garage. There was no answer on either number. Unsure what else to do, Carla started walking Abi towards the medical centre. Alongside her, Abi continued her muttering, occasionally shouting out in anguish.

Carla managed to persuade Abi to sit on a chair in the waiting room whilst she spoke to the receptionist.

"Hi, I know you're all really busy, but my friend here is having a mental health breakdown. I really think she needs some help from the crisis team - I had contact with them myself a while back - but I don't know if we can self-refer or whether it needs to come from the GP."

Carla smiled hopefully at the receptionist who, in turn, looked sheepish.

"I'm sorry, yes she'd need referred by a clinician, but all of our appointments are full for today. You'll need to call back tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Carla's voice was raised now. "Tomorrow? Have you seen the state of her?"

As if to prove Carla's point, Abi shouted, cowering into herself like she was frightened of something.

"How else can we access support? I can't leave her like this!"

"I can add her to the emergency callback list. One of the GPs will give her a call today."

"I'm not sure she'll be in a position to answer it, but fine. What time will it be?"

"Sometime before 6.30pm"

"Give me strength! Are you kidding me? Look at her!" Carla was aware she was raising her voice. "Look, sorry, I know it's not your fault. But I'm really worried about her. I think we'll just sit here and if you could let the GPs know we're here. In case there's a cancellation or summit."

The receptionist nodded. "I will do. I can see she's pretty upset."

Carla smiled tightly, plonking herself down next to Abi. The other woman didn't even register her presence. Carla fired off a text to Sarah to explain her absence and reached over to take Abi's hand.

"It's going to be OK."

Abi gripped her hand tightly. Carla only hoped she was telling her the truth.

It was midday by the time Dr Gaddas had finished with Abi. She'd given her a couple of diazepam tablets and referred her to the crisis team, who'd agreed to see Abi that afternoon. Having finally got hold of Kevin, Carla left them together and went to Roy's for a cuppa and a sit down.

The scene that awaited her was like something out of a comedy sketch. Bernie was running around, trying to serve people, cook and clean tables simultaneously.

"Where the heck is Roy?" Carla looked around at the dirty tables and empty cups.

"He's at the cash and carry." Bernie shouted over. "Nina's on her holidays in the Lakes somewhere and Shona's called in sick. I'm on me own, here! Listen love, you couldn't give me a hand, could you?"

"Give me that cloth. You focus on serving."

Carla took her coat off and pulled her hair up into a high ponytail. Grabbing the spray and cloth, she got to work wiping tables and gathering dirty dishes for the dishwasher. Stacking them and turning it on, she sighed. All done.

A phone rang behind the counter, an irritating comedy ringtone blaring out.

"Sorry, sorry! Oh it's our Gemma!" Bernie picked it up. "What's that, love? Oh! The little...no don't worry, Gemini, I'm coming."

Rushing off towards the door, Bernie looked sheepishly at Carla.

"Sorry, love, you'll have to mind the fort for a bit. Family emergency. Roy'll be back soon. You don't mind, do you?"

Without waiting for an answer, Bernie swept out, leaving Carla staring open-mouthed at the door.

"Blummin' heck." Carla muttered to herself. "I only came in here for a brew."

Surveying the scene, she could see four tables occupied, but there was also 3 people waiting to be served. She had no idea how she was gonna handle this. Pulling out her phone, she tried Roy's number, to no avail.

"Right, well...what can I get you?" Carla smiled apologetically at Brian, hoping he wasn't about to ask for food.

"I'll have a decaf cappuccino with extra foam please."

"No Brian, I'm afraid not. Right now, the options are tea, filter coffee or a can of pop. Take it or leave it." Carla wasn't going to waste time trying to figure out the fancy coffee maker.

"Er...I might go to the Bistro, actually." Brian backed away from the counter.

"OK, you do that, Brian. Right, who's next?"

Twenty minutes later, it became apparent that Carla was out of her depth. It had taken her two attempts to make Billy and Todd a couple of paninis, and an elderly couple had rejected her All Day Breakfast and asked for their money back. She needed help. Roy wasn't answering the phone and she didn't have Bernie's number to try and haul her back.

Sighing, she rang the only other person she knew who might help her.

"Hi Lisa, it's me. Listen, you couldn't do me a massive favour, could you? Can you come to Roy's? I kind of need your help with something. Don't wear anything fancy, will you...yeah, I'll explain when you get here."

Carla felt bad that she hadn't told her the truth. But she was desperate for moral support and another pair of hands, and she wasn't sure Lisa would have willingly come on her day off if she knew the truth.

Grabbing the cloth, she did another sweep of the tables. If nothing else, she could keep the place clean.

It was another 15 minutes before Lisa bustled through the door, stopping in her tracks at the sight of Carla in a tight black vest and her hair tied up. Carla had shed her kimono ages ago, feeling the heat of the frying pan too intensely.

"Are you OK?" Lisa looked at Carla curiously.

"No! Somehow, I've been left on my own to look after this place and I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Right..."

Carla couldn't work out if Lisa had already realised why she'd been summoned but, quick as a flash, she shrugged off her coat and turned back to Carla.

"OK, where do you want me?"

Carla could have kissed her. She should have kissed her, really. There was nothing stopping her. They'd told Betsy, Ryan and Roy that they'd got together and, honestly, Carla couldn't care less about anyone else.

The moment had passed, though, and Lisa was scraping her fingers through her hair, pulling it into a hair tie.

Carla smiled. "Can you cook? I'm making a pig's ear out of it! If you can cook, I'll serve and clean up."

"Deal!"

Looking at the hot frying pan and the grill, Lisa pulled her hoody over her head. The fitted black t shirt underneath rode up, revealing a sparkling jewel in her bellybutton. Looking back up at Lisa's face, Carla realised she'd been caught staring. Lisa grinned.

"You like it, then?"

Carla exhaled unsteadily. "Oh yes!"

Casting a final flirty smile at Carla, Lisa pulled an apron over her head and surveyed the kitchen.

Carla was so grateful to her. Between them, they got the place back on track and Carla marvelled at how easily Lisa could juggle cooking a fry up and making sandwiches at the same time. She found herself staring at her in awe on more than one occasion.

"Oh hi, Carla!"

Carla looked up to see Sally stood at the counter, looking at her with great interest.

"Hi, Sally. What can I get you?"

Sally looked between Carla and Lisa, still taking in the scene.

"Everyone at the factory has been wondering where you are. Sarah said something urgent had come up."

"Yes, it did. And then I popped in here for a brew and ended up running the place!"

"I see. Well I'm on my lunchbreak. The others have gone for a hotpot, but I thought I'd come here for something lighter."

Lisa turned around from her position at the hot plate and grinned. "Do you think we're doing OK?"

"Oh, Detective Sergeant Swain! Hello! I didn't see you there." Sally affected a slightly posher accent, which made Carla smirk. "I'm Sally Webster."

Lisa raised her eyebrows. "Yes...I know you. What are you having?"

"Well, if it's not too much trouble...I'm sure you're very busy."

"Never too busy for you, Sally!" Lisa's sarcasm was entirely lost on Sally.

"I have to say, it is a surprise to see you here."

"Always happy to help, me. Serving the community, and all that!"

Carla couldn't help but grin at Lisa's gentle teasing. It was nice to see her so relaxed. Sally was still watching the two of them, the obvious question almost tripping off her lips. Carla didn't know whether to put her out of her misery or make her come out with it and ask.

"I'll have a jacket potato and salad, please...er, Detective."

"It's Lisa."

Unable to resist any longer, Carla leant over, sliding her arm around Lisa's waist. Lisa turned to face her, her expression questioning whether this was them going public. Carla answered her with a quick peck on the lips.

Turning, she clocked Sally's incredulous expression. "You OK, Sal? You can take a seat. I'll bring it over when it's ready."

Sally retreated to a table, her eyes still fixed on Carla and Lisa.

Lisa looked curiously at Carla. "I wasn't expecting you to do that."

"Sorry." Carla looked sheepish. "We should maybe have had a conversation about it, first. Before I broadcasted us to the world via Sally-the-Ally Metcalf."

"Oh, I don't mind, Carla. I've been out for 25 years. I just thought..." Lisa shrugged. "Well, I thought you'd maybe have reservations."

"About you?"

"No, about people knowing about us. The gossiping."

"People around here have gossiped about me for years, Lisa, for one reason or another." Carla rolled her eyes. "At least this time it's for something good."

"In that case, come here." Lisa grabbed Carla by the waistband of her jeans, pulling her close. "Let's give them something to properly gossip about!"

Carla barely had a chance to react, before Lisa pressed her lips firmly to hers, smiling into the kiss. Pulling back, she felt a bit giddy.

"Mum!"

Carla's head whipped round to see Betsy, stood staring at the two of them in embarassment.

"Oh...hi love!"

"You two are SO embarassing!"

Chapter Text

"Knock knock..."

Carla looked up to see Lisa stood at the door to her office. She was in full DS Swain mode, her hair pulled up into a bun and wearing her long leather coat.

Carla smiled at the sight of her girlfriend. She couldn't help but smile every time she saw her. Her mere presence brightened Carla's day. She felt like such a sap, admitting that!

"Ah DS Swain, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I brought you lunch. You said you missed lunch yesterday and I don't want you making a habit of it."

"Yes boss!" Carla was secretly pleased. It made her heart swell to think that Lisa cared about her like that.

Lisa smirked, a twitch of her eyebrows giving Carla a taste of what she was thinking. Carla licked her lips. She was dying to take her relationship with Lisa to the next stage, but the anticipation was delicious.

"Aaaaaaaanyway..." Lisa nudged her gently. "I came to ask if you were up to anything tonight? I wondered if you wanted to come round?"

"To yours?"

"Yeah, if you like? I could cook?"

"What about Betsy?"

"She's going to Sabrina's. She's...er...she's staying over."

Carla looked up, her eyes locking with Lisa's. "I'd love to come round."

"Good good." Lisa smiled shyly, nodding slightly. "I wondered if you...er...well if you wanted to stay?"

Carla's eyes lit up. She was about to enthusiastically agree when Lisa cut back in.

"But Carla, listen...I just mean...when I say stay...I mean..." Lisa was struggling. "To sleep over...you know, just...er...sleep."

"Hey." Carla pulled Lisa close, wrapping her arms gently around her waist under the leather coat. "You want me to come for dinner and then sleep with you, in your bed, all cozy in our pyjamas and snuggle up together. Yes?"

Lisa looked away. Her cheeks were pink and Carla could see she was embarrassed. "It's just all a lot, you know. It all feels like a lot. I'll be ready soon, I promise. I'm sorry to make you wait."

"Lisa, listen, I will wait for weeks, or months, if I have to! I cannot WAIT to touch you, don't get me wrong, but this thing between us is about so much more than that." Carla kissed her gently. "I would love to sleep next to you tonight and get to kiss you goodnight."

"Really?"

"Really."

Lisa wrapped her arms around Carla's neck, pulling her back in for another kiss.

"See you about 7?"

Carla nodded. "Perfect."

Carla pulled up on the driveway at 7 o'clock, as precise as she'd been the last time. It had been a struggle to pick an outfit, again. Carla had never had so many difficult outfit decisions to make as since her and Lisa had got together. Lisa had told her not to dress up. That it was just a casual dinner and then they could cuddle up on the sofa and watch a film. But Carla didn't want Lisa to think she didn't care about her opinion. In the end, she'd stuck with leggings, but teamed them with a long sleeveless grey top with a subtle flower pattern. She felt comfortable but not lazy. In her bag, she'd made sure she'd packed her favourite satin pyjamas and was wearing matching underwear...just in case.

Lisa opened the door to let her in. Carla felt her heart start to race at the sight of the blonde in a pair of charcoal coloured jeans and a fitted checked shirt. The sleeves were rolled up. Because of course they were. Lisa grinned at her.

"In you come."

"Did you wear that shirt on purpose?" Carla grabbed her hand in the hallway, using the blonde for balance as she took off her boots.

"Maybe!" Lisa winked at her. Winked! Carla exhaled unsteadily. She was in trouble already and she hadn't even taken her coat off.

Carla let herself be led through the house, taking it in. It was the first time she'd made it through the door. She knew that Lisa and Betsy had only moved in a few months earlier. This wasn't the house they'd shared with Becky. Carla felt secretly relieved by this, but couldn't put her finger on exactly why that was. She supposed she was glad to feel like she wasn't intruding on their life together. What they'd had and what they'd lost. She wondered how Lisa felt, being in her flat. Carla had never given it any thought before, but it must be even stranger for Lisa, she supposed. Lisa had been in the flat as a police officer, there to arrest or question Bobby and Peter, and now she visited in a far more personal capacity. Carla made a note to ask her at some point.

Finding herself being led into the kitchen, Carla took in the sight before her. Red roses were laid out at each place setting, with a vase of red, pink and white roses in the centre of the table.

"Lisa." Carla's voice was soft. She wrapped her arms around Lisa's waist, gently pulling her in for a kiss. "Casual, you said."

"It is casual. But I can still bring a bit of romance to the proceedings, right?"

Lisa leaned back in for another kiss, deepening it straight away. Carla felt strong fingers tangle in her hair, as the other woman's tongue played with her own. Carla slid her hands under the bottom of Lisa's shirt, marvelling at how smooth her skin was. She was conscious of not getting carried away and made sure to not slide her hands too high up her back. But, nevertheless, it gave her a taste of what was to come.

Eventually, Lisa pulled back. "Sorry, I need to check on dinner. Sit yourself down."

Carla did as she was told, sensing the detective would not take kindly to her meddling in the kitchen.

"What are we having, then?"

"Arrabiata. I intended to do pasta, but apparently Betsy has finished the bag and not told me, and it was too late to nip out to get some more. So we're having spaghetti. Sorry, I know that's not ideal. Spaghetti and tomato sauce. I don't even have any napkins. I'm a terrible host."

Carla laughed. "I'll use a teatowel. I'm not too posh for that."

"A teatowel?"

"Yeah?" Carla shrugged. "What's wrong with that?"

Lisa laughed, wandering over to a drawer on the other side of the room.

"OK. Your options are..." Lisa held two teatowels aloft. "Betsy's primary school masterpiece or Man City?"

"Man City?" Carla raised her eyebrows. "I'll have Betsy's primary school artwork."

Lisa passed it over, eyeing Carla with suspicion. "Please tell me you're not a United fan?"

"Man United?"

"No, Dundee United. Yes, Man United! Or, even worse, Weathy County!"

"I'm not an anything fan! And I don't even think I know where Dundee is."

"It's in Scotland."

"Well yes." Carla rolled her eyes. "I knew that much. Go on, clever clogs. Find it on a map for me!"

Carla pulled out her phone, googling a picture of the outline of Scotland, the place names missing. Lisa leaned over, looking decidedly more unsure, now she was faced with it.

"Here, maybe?" She pointed to a spot on the East coast. "What's your guess."

"I think it's down here, isn't it?" Carla circled an area in the South West.

Locking in their answers, Lisa pulled up a map on her own phone. "I win!"

"You were still wrong." Carla huffed. "That's Aberdeen."

"At least I was in the right ballpark. You were nearer to Dumfries."

"Well it sounds the same!"

"Whatever! Don't be a sore loser!" Lisa grinned at her.

Carla tucked the teatowel into her top, feeling ever so slightly ridiculous having a sea of kids' self-portraits staring back at her. Lisa served their spaghetti and sat down, still grinning as she tucked her own teatowel in.

"Can we be like Lady and the Tramp?"

"You what?" Carla raised her eyebrows.

"You know...when they suck the spaghetti up together!"

"You want me to try and suck a piece of spaghetti up...how are we gonna find the same piece?"

"Come on!" Lisa pushed her bowl into the centre of the table. Lifting a forkful, she held it out to Carla's mouth.

"This is never gonna work, Lisa!" Carla laughed, shaking her head.

"Oh, live a little!" Lisa's eyes shone, her joy radiating from her face. It struck Carla that Lisa had resigned herself to never experiencing this kind of silliness ever again. The thought made her sad, but it filled Carla with so much pride to think that she could be the one to bring it back into her life.

Bending her head, she sucked a bit of spaghetti from the fork, watching Lisa do the same. As predicted, it turned out that these were two different pieces, and Carla's unceremoniously slapped against her face when she sucked it in. Of course, Lisa's did nothing of the sort. Reaching down to lift the teatowel, Lisa stopped her.

"Leave it. We're gonna have another go!"

Lisa twirled a bit of spaghetti in the bowl, taking several attempts to make sure she only got one. She offered the fork to Carla who, once again, took an end in her mouth.

"OK. Suck! SUCK!" Lisa gestured vigorously to Carla. "I need to find the other end!"

Carla could feel the laughter bubbling up inside her. Trying desperately not to choke on the spaghetti, she watched as Lisa eventually found the other end. She dipped her head down to catch it in her mouth, dunking the end of her ponytail in the bowl at the same time.

That was all it took. Carla couldn't keep it in any longer. Lisa hadn't even realised, she was so set on her mission. Carla's shoulders shook as she tried to keep the spaghetti in her mouth while she was laughing. Lisa, meanwhile, was flapping her hand excitedly, trying to demonstrate to Carla what she wanted her to do. Eventually, their mouths came together, as the spaghetti disappeared. Tomatoey lips pressed together, in what had to be the strangest kiss Carla had ever had. Lisa bit the spaghetti, finally separating them, and Carla went to lean back, conscious that her own hair was at risk of getting coated in tomato sauce too. Lisa put her hand on her shoulder, pulling her forward again.

"You are so sexy with your face covered in tomato sauce." Lisa's voice was barely more than a whisper.

Before Carla could process what was happening, Lisa had licked all around her lips, showing her enjoyment of the tomatoey taste with quiet moans that went straight to Carla's core.

"Jesus, Lisa." Carla exhaled loudly. "Do you know what you're doing to me?"

"Yes." Lisa smirked as she leaned back slightly, fixing her eyes on Carla's before bending forward to lick her lips again.

"Fuck!" It was torture, not being able to just drag Lisa up the stairs and push her onto the bed. She was going to need a cold shower after dinner, at this rate.

"Thank you for indulging my daft idea." Lisa turned off the seduction, and Carla wondered if she'd realised that they were heading swiftly down a path she wasn't ready for.

"I'd indulge any of your ideas, if it made you happy."

"You're so soppy!" Lisa rolled her eyes playfully.

"And you're busy using your hair to paint your shirt with tomato sauce."

"What?!" Lisa sat up straight, grabbing her hair and groaning. "Is it all over my shirt? I can't see!"

"Just your right shoulder, love."

"I'll have to put it in the washing machine, or it'll never come out."

Lisa stood up and started unbuttoning her shirt. Carla's mouth went dry. She didn't know whether to avert her eyes. Picking up her wine, she looked back at Lisa, who was smiling at her gently, shirt undone.

"You are allowed to look, you know. I know I said I want to take things slowly, and I do, but I like seeing you looking. It's nice to think you might find me attractive."

"I MIGHT find you attractive?!" Carla swallowed.

Lisa slipped her shirt off her shoulders. Carla didn't look away again. Taking in the black bra against Lisa's pale skin, Carla found her eyes roaming over every bit of her torso. The soft skin of her stomach, with the glimpse of her strong abs underneath. The small freckle on her left breast, right next to the lacy edge of her bra. Carla could feel her breathing getting quicker.

"Lisa, please don't take this the wrong way, but will you go and put another top on? I don't think I can sit across this table and eat spaghetti with you looking like that."

Lisa smiled shyly. "Really? You really fancy me?"

"You're something else, do you know that?!" Carla shook her head in amazement. "You are so beautiful and you have an AMAZING body that I cannot wait to get my hands on, and you ask me if I fancy you?"

"It's just that..." Lisa shrugged slightly. "Well, I'm sure you've seen women in their underwear loads of times, especially in your line of work. But you've never really been attracted to them before -"

"Says who?"

That took Lisa by surprise. "Oh! I just assumed -"

"And we all know where assumptions get you, don't we detective?"

Lisa smiled. "So you've...you've been attracted to women before?"

"Yes. But I just figured it was something all women experienced. It was only when I was speaking to Michelle at Christmas..." Carla blushed.

Lisa had noticed. Of course she had. "Oh yeah? What did you tell her?"

"Well...just that I've...well, you know..."

"I don't know! But go on!"

"Jesus, this is embarassing...OK, well I just assumed all women have little fantasies about other women. I thought it was normal. And there might have been times when I've used those fantasies to...well, you know."

"Carla Connor!" Lisa's eyes had lit up. Carla could see the lust in her widened pupils, but a mixture of amusement and relief were mixed in. "I love this about you!"

"Oh, don't take the piss!" Carla felt a bit exposed, not having consumed nearly enough wine to be having this conversation.

"Hey." Lisa's voice softened. "I'm not. I'm sorry. I love that you've felt attraction to women before. It makes me feel less..."

"Like I might change my mind?"

Lisa nodded. "Something like that. And, just to be clear, I've never got myself off to thoughts of men."

Carla choked on her mistimed sip of wine. "Flippin' heck, Lisa! Go and put some clothes on! I can't cope with you talking about...you know...while you're stood there in your bra!"

Lisa grinned a final time, heading for the stairs. Looking back, she caught Carla's eye.

"It's called masturbation, Carla. You can say it!"

Fuck!

Chapter Text

Carla opened her eyes, taking in the unfamiliar environment. Lisa's bedroom was bigger than her own, a big fitted wardrobe taking up a whole wall. Carla was jealous of that. Maybe that's where she kept all of her coats. Turning her head, she smiled at Lisa's sleeping form beside her. She was facing away from Carla, her blonde hair spilling out haphazardly across her pillow. Carla had an urge to reach out and touch it, but she didn't want to wake the other woman. Closing her eyes, she smiled to herself as she thought about the previous night.

"Did you borrow those from Ken Barlow?" Carla laughed. Lisa had just returned from the bathroom in a pair of tartan pyjamas.

"Hey!" Lisa pretended to look offended. "They're the only proper pair of pyjamas I own. I hate pyjamas. I usually just sleep in a big t shirt and my pants, but I didn't think you'd appreciate that."

"Oh I'd definitely appreciate that!" Carla laughed. "Though I might not get much sleep."

"I don't want to blue balls you any more than I have already." Lisa moved to her side of the bed. "I...er...are you OK on that side. I mean, I usually sleep here but I can swap if you -"

"This side's perfect, Lisa."

Carla felt nervous and she didn't know why. It was just sleeping. And it was just Lisa. But, somehow, agreeing to sleep together without sleeping together felt more intimate. She lifted the covers and got in. Lisa climbed in beside her and immediately snuggled into her side.

"Thank you for staying." The blonde planted a light kiss on her cheek.

Carla turned. "Thank you for inviting me."

The two of them cuddled for a moment, in contended silence. Carla still felt like she had to pinch herself to see if this was all real. A few weeks ago, Lisa had told her she wasn't ready to give a piece of herself away and yet, here they were, snuggled up together in an embrace that suggested...well, love. She'd never admit that to the other woman. Not yet. But Carla had fallen in love with Lisa. Head over heels in love.

"Can I ask you something?" Carla kissed Lisa gently on the head, inhaling the smell of her shampoo.

"Mmm?"

"Betsy's a Swain, but you and Becky got married long after she was born. So is Swain your maiden name? How did you decide whose name Betsy would take when she was born?"

"That's a lot of questions!" Lisa laughed. "Yes, Swain has always been my name. Me and Becky talked about it when she was pregnant. Becky wasn't that attached to her maiden name. Smith. She always said it was too boring. So, while she was pregnant, she changed it to Swain by deed poll. We had a little party - just close friends and family - to celebrate. It was sort of like a wedding reception. It wasn't legal for us to get married back then. So she was a Swain when Betsy was born and that was that."

Carla held her tightly, sensing the memories were bittersweet.

"I wish I could have met her." She whispered.

Lisa nodded, tears in her eyes. "She was so relaxed about everything. She never got stressed about things, like I do. That's why she was better with Betsy. She'd have coped far better with teenage problems than I have -"

"Hey! No, I'll not have that. You've done a great job, Lisa. You've had to navigate teenage hormones while dealing with your own grief, and Betsy's. Don't do yourself down. Betsy's a great kid. And that's down to both of you."

Lisa snuggled closer into her side. "Thanks Carla."

"Shall I put the light off?" Carla leaned over to the lamp on the bedside table.

"OK, but no funny business!"

Carla cackled. "I'll keep my hands to myself, I promise!"

Carla smiled to herself, remembering how she'd felt when she realised Lisa was asleep with her head on her chest, one of her very sexy arms draped leisurely across Carla's stomach. She'd be lying if she'd said it hadn't awoken feelings low down in her stomach that she'd been trying to ignore. It had been weeks since she'd had any kind of release, but she'd made Lisa a promise and she wanted to keep it. So, instead, the mere hint of a forearm poking out of a tartan sleeve had her throbbing between her legs.

Get a grip, Carla!

"Tea or coffee?" Lisa called over from the kitchen. She'd made Carla sit on the sofa, adamant that she didn't need help.

"Coffee, please. And breakfast doesn't need to be fancy, you know!"

"Just as well, coz I ain't got anything fancy in!"

Carla chuckled. She felt so at home here with Lisa. She'd love to spend more mornings here, drinking coffee.

Lisa brought a tray through, a plate of toast, a bottle of milk and a cafetiere balanced on top. Nipping back to the kitchen, she returned with two mugs.

"Right, here we go."

Pouring the coffee, she offered one to Carla.

"Cheers!" Carla grinned. "Here's to us!"

Lisa tapped her mug against Carla's, indulging her daft toast.

"I wanted to say thank you." She sipped, looking at Carla. "For last night. For, you know...not pressurising me into having sex."

Carla put her mug down, her heart suddenly pounding as she turned to the other woman.

"I would never...did you think I would? Did you think I'd wait til we were in bed and then come on all heavy handed?" Carla was aware that her tone was unpleasant. "Do you really think I respect you so little that I'd do that?"

"No no, of course not!" Lisa looked alarmed. "No! I never thought that. I just mean...thank you for not making a big deal of it. For not trying to persuade me."

Carla stood up, walking towards the window and looking out. She took some deep breaths.

"Did you ever look me up on your computer at work?"

"What? No! Why? What's all this about?"

Carla turned. "You never had reason to? Back when...well when Stephen was killed or whatever."

"No. You were never under serious investigation. I never had any reason to. Why? Where's this going?"

"It's just...well a number of years ago...an ex-fiance of mine didn't take too well to me calling off our wedding..." Carla looked out the window again. She took a deep breath. "And so he raped me. So you see, Lisa, I would NEVER try and put pressure on you to have sex. Ever."

She turned to gauge Lisa's reaction. The blonde was sat still, her eyes glassy with tears and a piece of toast hanging aimlessly from her hand.

"Carla..." She whispered. "I don't know what to say."

"It was a long time ago. I'm over it...most of the time. I wish I'd got justice, but..." She shrugged. "That's life."

"He got away with it?"

"Not exactly!" Carla rolled her eyes, a wry smile on her face. "He got what was coming to him. Just in a less conventional way."

"You didn't kill him, did you?!" Lisa looked alarmed.

"For fucks sake, Lisa! No, I didn't kill him! I'm not a murderer. His mum did, though. At Underworld, no less."

"Jesus! I think that must've been before I was transferred to Weatherfield. I'd have remembered that story!" She patted the sofa next to her. "Will you come and sit back down?"

Carla did as she was told. She took a sip of coffee to ground herself. "I'm sorry for blurting that story out like that."

Lisa shook her head. "I'm glad you told me. Thank you."

She put her coffee down, taking both of Carla's hands in her own. "I hope you know you can tell me anything."

"There's a lot more to come, I assure you. My life hasn't exactly been straightforward!" Carla rolled her eyes playfully. "Promise me one thing, though? Don't treat me with kid gloves when we do sleep together."

Lisa nodded. "I promise."

In an attempt to both change the subject and lighten the mood, Carla pulled Lisa towards her suddenly, the blonde falling on top of Carla. Carla could feel the smooth skin of Lisa's waist where her hands had ended up. She couldn't resist. Tickling the other woman, she was delighted by the shrieks and squirming she brought about.

At risk of falling off the sofa, Lisa grabbed aimlessly at Carla. Carla felt her breath hitching, as the blonde's right hand ended up high on her ribs, her thumb grazing against the side of her breast. Pausing the tickling, she took stock of their position, Lisa lying in between Carla's legs.

"Well this looks far more compromising than it is!" Lisa laughed, sitting up and removing her hand. Carla wasn't sure she'd even realised where she'd had it.

Carla bent forward and kissed her. She had such soft lips and Carla couldn't get enough of kissing them.

"Do you think it's silly that I'm scared of us having sex?" Lisa picked up a piece of toast, not looking directly at Carla.

"Not at all. But what is it you're scared of? What, in particular? Maybe we can talk it through."

"Well, it's just...I haven't had sex for 3 years. Not since Becky died. And the last time I had sex with someone other than Becky was over 20 years ago. She knew me. I knew her. We knew what each other liked and didn't like. We knew each other's bodies. The sexy bits, the bits we were insecure about. When we first started sleeping together we were in our 20s. Everything was firm and youthful...and now I'm definitely not either of those things."

Carla went to interrupt, but Lisa was on a roll.

"We had contented, loving sex. We had "It's been a while and I feel a bit obliged" sex. But we didn't have exciting, new sex. I've not had that for a long time. I'm worried..." Lisa glanced at Carla. "Well, that I'm a bit rusty. That I might not be able to please you."

"How do you think I feel? I've never slept with a woman!"

"Exactly!"

"Oh charming!" Carla laughed.

"No, I don't mean that." Lisa elbowed her gently. "I'm sure you're a fast learner. And I'll tell you what I like...show you..."

Carla felt the familiar heat between her legs at this statement. The thought of Lisa showing her how to please her...her mouth had gone dry.

"But...what if you don't enjoy it? If I'm not enough for you? What if..."

"What?"

"You miss having a -" Lisa looked away. "A big cock inside you!"

Carla couldn't help the belly laugh that came out. She knew Lisa was laying her insecurities on the line here. She knew she shouldn't be laughing. But 'big cock'?

"I think you can buy those in Ann Summers, can't you?" She felt bad, that she was joking about it. Lisa was clearly worried. "Listen, I can't come just from that, anyway. The 'big cock', as you put it. So I'm afraid you'll have to put a bit more work in!"

"I'm looking forward to it." There was a playfulness to Lisa's tone, but her voice still betrayed her insecurities. "What if you're disgusted?"

Carla looked at her, puzzled. "By what?"

"Me, without my clothes on."

Carla leaned closer, breathing gently in her ear. "I don't think there's any danger of that."

Lisa's voice shook. Carla wasn't sure if it was still anxiety, or whether lust had taken over. "And what if I can't satisfy you? What if you don't enjoy it?"

"Oh I will. I know I will." Carla's breath was still hot on her ear. "I've thought about it...a lot. What it will be like to be with you...to have you slip your hand between my -"

"Hi Mum! Oh!!" The door slammed.

Lisa sat bolt upright. Carla looked up at the teenager in alarm, hoping she hadn't heard what she was whispering. Lisa's breathing was laboured, her face flushed. It didn't take a genius to work out that Betsy had interrupted something.

"Ew, cringe! I'm going upstairs! I have to sit on that sofa, you know!"

With a look of disgust, the teenager headed upstairs.

Lisa groaned. "We'd better get dressed!"

Chapter Text

After their morning was rudely interrupted by Betsy, Carla and Lisa had got showered and dressed and off to the Rovers for lunch.

They'd no sooner slid into a booth before Lisa's phone went off. Looking at it, she groaned.

"Oh, I'll need to take this. It's work."

"Work? I didn't think you were on this weekend?"

"It's a girl I gave my number to a while back. Domestic abuse case. Her ex-boyfriend is due for release in a few weeks and she's pretty anxious."

"Surely you -"

"Sorry!" Lisa looked apologetic, gesturing to Carla across the table. "Can you get me a soft drink. In case I need to go."

Watching the blonde disappear out of the door to the street, Carla sighed. So this is what it was like to be in a relationship with a copper. Or, maybe not all coppers, but this one. Kind and conscientious to a fault. Shrugging her coat off to lay claim to their seats, she headed to the bar.

"What can I get you, love?" Glenda boomed across the bar.

"Just a sparkling water and an orange juice, please. It seems we're being sensible."

Glenda laughed, turning to grab a couple of glasses. The door to the toilet opened and Carla's heart sunk when she saw who was coming through it. Matthew. Predictably, he made a beeline for her.

"Hey stranger! How are you?"

"I'm fine." She smiled warmly at him, but in a way which she hoped didn't invite too much conversation.

"Did you get it all sorted out with the fiesty blonde?"

She couldn't help but grin. "Yeah, I did, actually. She's just outside."

"Good. Although, I have to say, I find her slightly terrifying! I thought she was gonna deck me in Freshcos!"

Carla laughed. "She's a copper. So, yeah, she's got a fiesty side!"

"Well you'd better behave yourself, hadn't you?"

Carla's laughed died on her lips at the sight of Lisa, her face like thunder, suddenly stood beside her.

"Don't let me interrupt."

"Jesus Christ!" Matthew muttered. "She's back."

Carla would have laughed if it wasn't for the explosion she knew was coming from the detective.

"I should introduce you properly -" Carla started some damage limitation, but was cut off quickly.

"Detective Sergeant Swain." Lisa held out her hand to Matthew, glaring at him in a way that suggested she was about to challenge him to an arm wrestle.

"Er...Matthew. It's nice to meet you properly. Carla was just -"

"Oh I can see Carla was just. Just enjoying your company, it seems." She turned to Carla, her face flushed and her eyes flashing. "I'll not get in your way. Enjoy your drinks."

She turned and strode to the door. Carla flashed Matthew an apologetic grimace, leaving her unpaid for drinks on the bar. She'd deal with that later. It wasn't like Jenny and Daisy didn't owe her a small fortune.

Yanking open the door to the street, she chased Lisa down.

"Stop, will you? What the hell was that all about?!"

"You! Flirting with that man as soon as my back's turned."

"I wasn't flirting with him! I was telling him about you. He was just saying how he's a bit terrified of you and it made me laugh."

"I could see how you were with him."

"I don't know what you mean by that. I am allowed to talk to other people, Lisa. I don't need to justify myself to you."

"He fancies you!"

"So?" Carla threw her hands up in the air. "I'm sure lots of people fancy you, but I'm not gonna get jealous every time you speak to someone."

"Tell me, if you'd met him a year ago, would you have gone on a date with him?"

Carla shrugged. "Maybe. But it's not a year ago. It's now. And I'm with you."

"You're sure you'd not rather be with him?" Lisa's face was stony, her eyes wet with tears.

"Lisa, you're being ridiculous. I was just TALKING to him. I haven't done anything wrong."

"I feel like you're keeping your options open."

"What, in case things don't work out with us? I don't even have his number. I didn't summon him here!" Carla was so exasperated by the way this had all gone.

"No, in case you get bored waiting for me to have sex with you."

"You what?!"

"Stupid, frigid little Lisa, too buttoned up to let her guard down and have sex. Not worth waiting for, am I? Especially since it'll probably be a let down with me, anyway. Wrong plumbing."

Carla stared agog. "Do you really think so little of me? You really think I'm gonna jump into bed with him because you're wanting to take things slowly? Thanks a bunch, Lisa. At least I know what you really think."

Lisa stared at her, nostrils flaring.

"I'm going home." Carla pushed past her.

"Carla -"

"No! You've really hurt me, Lisa. When have I EVER given you the impression I'm bored of waiting? Last night was one of the best nights of my life, do you know that? Waking up with you..." Carla shook her head. "What's the point? If you constantly think I'm gonna go off with someone else...if you feel insecure every time I talk to a bloke...what's the point?"

"I'm sorry!" Lisa grabbed her arm, tears now actually escaping from her eyes. "You're right, I am insecure. That's on me, not you. I just can't believe someone like you would be interested in me."

"What, coz I'm straight?"

"No, coz you're gorgeous."

"Whatever." Carla shook her head. She wasn't ready to forgive yet, but she hated that the blonde thought so little of herself. "I don't know how I'm ever supposed to convince you that I like you."

Lisa sighed, scuffing her boot across the cobbles. "I don't think I'm worth bothering about, Carla. I'm always going to be like this. Jealous. Insecure. Maybe you should just walk away."

"I can't walk away."

"Why not? We've only just got together."

Carla sighed, exasperated. "You don't get it, do you? How much I...Lisa I'm in LOVE with you!"

The silence hung between them, more dangerous than their argument only minutes earlier. Lisa's eyes flicked up in shock, but she immediately looked away, saying nothing.

"I'm going home."

Carla's eyes burned with tears as she stormed home. She didn't know who she was more annoyed with. Lisa, for thinking she'd bin her off for wanting to take things slowly, or herself for blurting out that she loved her. The absence of any response from Lisa spoke volumes. They were on different pages, clearly.

As the door to the flat closed behind her, Carla felt her phone buzz.

[Lisa] Can I come round? I'm sorry. Please can we talk?

Carla contemplated it. She knew that Lisa had said those things in the heat of the moment. But it didn't make them hurt any less.

[Carla] I'd rather you didn't. I just want a bit of time on my own.

Throwing herself down on the sofa, she realised she'd left her coat in the Rovers.

Ryan had made a valiant attempt at cheering her up. He'd made tea, he'd offered wine, he'd gone out and bought her chocolate. But Carla knew she just needed time to stew on this. It wasn't over with Lisa. She wouldn't let that happen. But, once again, she'd been on the receiving end of some harsh words from the other woman. And it was undeserved. She hadn't done anything wrong. She knew that and she wasn't going to apologise. But this all linked to Lisa's insecurities. That was what they needed to work on. Together, hopefully. Carla cringed when she thought about how she'd told Lisa she was in love with her. It wasn't untrue, but it certainly wasn't how she'd planned to do it. She hadn't really planned it at all. It was too soon, really. Ideally, she'd have kept it inside until they'd been together a while. But, here we were. She'd said it in the heat of the moment. The notable silence that had followed told Carla that they were really in different places with their relationship. That stung, but she wouldn't want Lisa to try and force feelings that weren't there.

At 4pm, her stomach growling brought it to Carla's attention that she hadn't eaten since breakfast time. She couldn't be bothered to cook. Pulling up Just Eat, she was flicking through her options when the buzzer went.

"Do you want me to get it?" Ryan stood up.

"Yeah, thanks Ryan."

"If it's Lisa...?"

"You can let her in." Carla sighed. She'd need to face her at some point.

Sure enough, a minute later Lisa was stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"I'll leave you in peace." Ryan ventured. "I'm just gonna sit in my room. Let me know if you're ordering food and I'll go for it. I'm starving."

"Thanks Ryan."

He retreated, leaving the two women alone. Carla suddenly had an awful feeling that Lisa was about to call time on things, worried that this episode had proved she wasn't in the headspace to be in a relationship.

"I'm so sorry, Carla. I should never have said those things." Lisa remained stood in the doorway, her coat buttoned right up. She looked terrified.

"Come and sit down." Carla sighed. "You're making me feel anxious, standing there like that."

Lisa gave a small smile, taking her coat off and draping it on the back of the sofa before sitting down. She kept a respectable distance between them.

"I don't know why I keep doing this. Pushing you away."

"I think you're scared."

"Scared of what, though? You? You've been nothing but lovely with me. You've been patient and kind. I don't deserve it, the way I've behaved. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Scared of getting involved with me. Scared that we've got something real and of the possibility that this is really going somewhere. You said yourself the other week that you're not ready for a relationship."

"You're not..." Lisa looked alarmed. "Breaking up with me, are you?"

"No, love, I'm not." Carla reached out, taking Lisa's hand. "Come here."

Lisa needed no further encouragement, launching herself at Carla and burying her head into her neck. Carla wrapped her arms around her, holding her while she sobbed.

"I'm so sorry for those things I said. I don't know why I keep saying that you're going to leave me for not sleeping with you."

"Neither do I." Carla cut in. "You keep making out that all I think about is sex and it's really not."

"I know, and I don't know why. You've been so patient with me. It's all just me and my issues. I'm so scared of losing you, I think I'm almost pushing you away before it has a chance to happen another way. I know that doesn't make sense."

"It does." Carla rubbed her back gently. "It's a defence mechanism. It keeps you in control."

Lisa nodded into her shoulder. "When did you get so wise?"

Carla laughed ruefully. "I don't think I've ever been called that before."

Lisa sat up. Carla couldn't help but smile at the mascara streaks on her face. Reaching out, she rubbed the worst of them off. Lisa sighed quietly.

"What you said earlier, on the street..."

Carla had known this would be coming. "Which bit?"

"You're in love with me?"

It was Carla's turn to have her defences up. "Yeah, daft isn't it. We've been together two minutes. You probably think I'm off my head. I probably am. You don't need to -"

"Carla." Lisa interrupted, placing a finger gently on her lips. "Stop talking and kiss me."

All of the pent up tension from earlier combined with the relief that Lisa wasn't running away. Carla surged forward. Her fingers slid through Lisa's hair as she brought their lips together, moaning loudly as Lisa immediately deepened the kiss and their tongues danced together. She felt Lisa leaning towards her and, before she knew what was happening, Lisa was almost lying on top of her, their position awkward because of how they'd been sitting. The feeling of Lisa's body against hers was incredible and the hands roaming up her sides had awoken the throbbing between her legs. If the situation had been different, she'd have been dragging Lisa into her bedroom by now. As it was, she needed to let Lisa dictate what happened next.

Eventually the blonde pulled back. Carla smiled at her flushed cheeks and messy hair. She didn't think she'd ever seen her looking so beautiful.

"I'm not ready to say it back." Lisa was slightly breathless, her face shy all of a sudden. "But I'll get there, I promise."

"There's no rush." Carla leant forward and kissed her gently. "I shouldn't have thrown it out there during an argument. I wish I hadn't."

"Say it again." Lisa smiled at her. "Say it for real. If you mean it."

Carla's heart was hammering in her chest. Lisa's eyes were staring into her soul. She took a deep breath, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Lisa's ear.

"I love you."

Lisa's face lit up, the joy radiating from her. Her smile was infectious, and Carla found herself grinning at the other woman.

"You know that..." Lisa looked away, still smiling. "It won't be long, I promise. It's not that I don't -"

"You don't need to explain." Carla planted another light kiss on her lips. "Now listen, I have a very important question for you."

Lisa looked nervous. Carla chuckled to herself, as she wondered if Lisa was worrying she was going to propose.

"Do you fancy a Chinese?"

The relief was visible on Lisa's face and, this time, Carla did laugh out loud.

"I'd love a Chinese. Shall I go and give Ryan a knock?"

The blonde got up to summon Ryan, as Carla shook her head, still smiling.

What a day.

Chapter Text

It was the following weekend before Carla got to spend some proper time with Lisa. They'd both had a busy week. Carla had lunch meetings with potential clients most days, and Lisa had been drafted in to help with a particularly nasty GBH case. As a result, they'd barely seen each other. But now it was Friday, and Lisa had promised to take Carla out for cocktails. Suffice to say, Carla was excited.

Knocking off from work an hour early, Carla headed home for a shower. Taking her time, she used her expensive hair mask and shaved her legs carefully. Opening her wardrobe, she sighed. This was yet another occasion where she wasn't sure what to wear. Flicking through the options, she settled on a dark green jumpsuit she'd bought the other week from Next. She'd always felt that green was her colour. It brought out her eyes. She added a hint of green eyeliner to her usual smoky evening look and smiled at herself in the mirror. She felt confident and she hoped Lisa would think she looked OK. She couldn't wait to see what the blonde was wearing.

Watching Lisa lock up the front door and walk to the taxi, Carla's face lit up. She had a big coat on, covering most of her outfit, but Carla could see she had killer heels on under her black trousers. She wondered if it would make them the same height. Carla's heels were quite small tonight. Perhaps most surprising was that her hair was curled, hanging loosely over her shoulders, and her makeup was as intense as Carla's. She looked incredible.

"Look at you!" Lisa leaned across the back seat to kiss her when she got in. Leaning closer, she whispered in her ear. "You look really sexy."

Carla shivered. She was gonna be in big trouble if this was how Lisa was at the very start of the night, before they'd even had a drink.

"You've see this coat a hundred times. It's -"

"I'm not talking about your coat." Lisa rolled her eyes. "I'm talking about..."

Lisa drew a circle in the air in front of Carla's face. Grinning, she sat back in her seat and fastened her seat belt, so they could head off.

"So do you." Carla laced their fingers together. "Your makeup is incredible. I've never seen you with so much eyeliner on."

"You don't think it's too much?"

Carla shook her head, her mouth still gaping open slightly at the sight of the gorgeous woman sitting next to her. She had to pinch herself when she thought about the fact that Lisa had made all this effort for her. Carla's body was on fire. The mere sight of Lisa's seductive makeup had awoken the heat in her core and the knowledge that it was all for her benefit made her heart swell. In any of her previous relationships, she'd have been lucky if they'd stuck a clean shirt on to go for drinks with her. Knowing how much effort Lisa had put into her appearance made Carla realise how much she really valued the blonde. How lucky she was to have her. She almost hadn't, and she hadn't forgotten that.

"No, I don't think it's too much. And your hair is gorgeous. I've never seen it like that before."

That wasn't strictly true. She'd seen it curled in Lisa and Becky's wedding photos, but she wasn't about to bring up having Facebook stalked her.

"Betsy did it. She's better at these things than me."

It still made Carla smile to think how well Betsy had accepted their relationship, especially given her initial reaction to Carla's misguided proposition, back in November. In some ways, it wasn't a bad thing that they hadn't got together straight away. This way, the teenager had had a chance to get used to the idea slowly.

Arriving at the bar, they were surprised to discover it had a cloakroom. Carla was pleased. It would save them both lugging heavy coats around, especially if they got up to dance. Shrugging her coat off, she turned round to see Lisa handing her own coat over. Looking her up and down, she couldn't help but laugh.

"What are you...?"

Lisa's question died on her lips as she took in Carla's outfit. They might have been wearing different colours, but there was no mistaking that their jumpsuits were the same.

"Oh my god!" Lisa stared at her. "At least we're not both wearing green. We'd have looked like a pair of elves!"

"Are you saying I look like an elf?!"

"Nooooo! You look incredible. But we do look slightly -"

"Ridiculous?" Carla ventured.

"I was gonna say, like we're modelling for Next."

"You do look amazing, though. I can't believe you look like that and you're here with me."

"Alright, you soppy git." Lisa pulled her close, her hands resting on Carla's hips. Kissing her lightly, their lips barely touched before Lisa leaned to whisper in her ear. "It's all for you."

Carla exhaled shakily. "Lisa...every time you whisper in my ear like that..."

Lisa grinned. She knew exactly what she was doing. Carla couldn't help but grin back. Six months ago, she'd barely seen the other woman smile, and now here they were, their faces glowing with the excitement of a new relationship.

"Come on then, my gorgeous elf. Let's go and get a drink."

"Oi!" Carla tried to swipe at her, but Lisa was already heading into the bar.

Two hours and three cocktails later, both women were relaxed and having fun. They'd found a table that allowed them to chat, and they were watching the dance floor. Carla was dying to get up and dance, but she didn't know if it would be Lisa's idea of fun, and they'd lose their table if they got up.

"Thank you for being so patient with me, Carla." Lisa said suddenly, distracting Carla from trying to work out what song was playing.

"Not this, again! You know there's no rush -"

"No no, sorry. I'm not talking about sex. I just mean...it took me so long to accept how I felt about you. I kept pushing you away and you kept trying again."

"Glutton for punishment, me!"

Lisa laughed. "I'm glad you didn't give up. I haven't been this happy for a long time. And that's down to you."

"I'd do anything for you, Lisa." Carla gazed at her sincerely.

The twitch of Lisa's eyebrows was unmistakable. "I'll bear that in mind."

The fluttering in Carla's stomach started back up. It never failed to surprise her that she could have such a visceral reaction to Lisa's words. The blonde was so flirtatious at times, her well-timed one-liners shooting straight through Carla. The ache in her core was a reminder that she'd kept her promise. She hadn't touched herself since their conversation the other week. There had been a number of times when she'd found herself in bed, her hands threatening to wander as she thought about the blonde. Only the other day, she'd had to get up at midnight and have a cool shower after succumbing to a daydream involving Lisa in her checked shirt. Those arms...

Carla chuckled to herself as she realised that she was daydreaming. Lisa's eyebrows raised again.

"What are you thinking about?"

Carla blushed, but she'd been here before. Lisa could flirt, and flirt hard. But Carla wasn't going to be outdone. Carla Connor knew how to flirt!

"I was thinking about you. And these..." She ran her finger lightly down one of Lisa's biceps. She watched the other woman shiver. It made her smirk. She had this.

"Oh yes?" Lisa's eyes were dark. "What is it you like about my arms?"

"They're strong. And so bloody sexy."

"Right. And what might you want me to do with my strong arms?"

Suddenly, an image of Lisa pinning her to the bed flashed through her mind. Carla could feel the heat in her cheeks. She couldn't lose control of this now. Leaning a bit closer, she tilted her head to Lisa's ear so she didn't have to shout.

"I want you to make me yours. Hold my arms above my head and..." Carla paused for dramatic effect. She knew what she was doing. "And do whatever you want to me."

There was no mistaking Lisa's moan, even with the loud music in the background.

"Fuck, Carla."

"Yes. When you're ready, that's what I'd like." Carla grinned. "Fuck Carla."

Lisa rolled her eyes, smiling. "I thought it would be me testing the limits of your flirting. Not the other way around."

"Keep going if you like. I can take it."

Contemplating the offer, this time it was Lisa who leaned closer. "In that case, what would you say if I said I'd daydreamed about pinning your arms above your head. I've thought about you lying there, completely naked, while I show you what's it's like to have sex with a woman."

Carla could feel her breath coming out in ragged gasps. The heat in her face was matched by a burning in her core. "I'd say, I can't wait."

Tilting her head, Carla kissed her passionately, not caring that they were in a booth in a bar. The hand that wasn't laced through Lisa's hair was resting on her hip, grounding her. Lisa, meanwhile, had one arm on Carla's shoulder. The other was drawing a light pattern on her inner thigh.

Carla groaned. "You're gonna need to stop. You've got me all worked up."

"I wish you were wearing a skirt."

"Lisa!" Carla pulled back, her mouth open incredulously. "You can't just say that so casually, while I'm sat here with my thighs clenched."

Lisa shrugged nonchalantly. "Well it's true. If you were wearing a skirt, I could help you out."

"Help me..." Carla shook her head. "Jesus Christ! You make it sound like you'd be just doing me a quick favour."

"Well I would be." Lisa's face was still the picture of cool. Carla knew that she was loving this. She'd taken back control so easily. Carla wasn't used to being bettered when it came to flirting.

"Well I'll have to do myself a quick favour in a minute. The tension is almost painful, it's so intense."

Lisa finally looked a bit sheepish. "Sorry. I didn't mean to get you so worked up. I was just playing with you. It's been so long since I've..."

"Well you've not lost your touch, let me tell you. If you'd kept that up, I could probably have come just listening to you talk!"

"Hmm, that sounds like a challenge for another day!" Lisa was grinning again. "Anyway, can I interest you in dancing?"

Carla gulped. Yes, of course she could interest her in dancing. She enjoyed dancing, especially with a few drinks inside her. And the idea of dancing with Lisa was certainly appealing. But while she was this worked up? It would be all she could do not to try and pin Lisa to a wall and ravish her.

Letting herself be led by the hand, Carla found herself on the dance floor. Lisa slipped her arms tightly around her waist. It was strange having the height discrepancy corrected. Carla was looking directly into Lisa's eyes. Her pupils were still blown and her lips full. Carla wished this room full of people would just disappear.

Draping her arms over Lisa's shoulders, Carla swayed happily to the music, conscious that they were almost slow dancing to 90s dance floor classics. They couldn't stop grinning at each other. Carla suspected they looked more than a bit odd to the rest of the bar's clientele. She was enjoying the intimacy of their position. They'd not held each other for this long before. Whilst there was no denying that Carla was really turned on, it was the overwhelming feeling of love that was at the forefront of her mind. In a room full of strangers, it felt like they were the only ones there.

Leaning in, she kissed Lisa again. Their lips moved together, opening to allow their tongues to slide against each other. Carla tightened her arms, pulling their bodies closer, and Lisa slipped her thigh between Carla's, casually leaning against her centre. Carla wanted more. She wanted to feel Lisa's body against hers. Properly. The feeling between her legs was almost too much to bear. Whatever she'd promised Lisa before, she'd have to do something about the coiled-up spring inside her when she got home. She'd never be able to sleep otherwise.

"I love this." Carla could feel her voice was breathy in the blonde's ear. "I love feeling your body pressed against mine like this. When we...Lisa, it's going to be incredible."

"Take me home, then."

Carla pulled back suddenly, searching Lisa's eyes for their meaning.

"What?"

Lisa's eyes were dark and her voice an unmistakably low lust-filled timbre.

"Carla, let me spell it out for you. Take me back to yours and take me to bed. Right now."

Chapter Text

"You sure you're sure about this?" Carla looked over at Lisa, who was silently putting on her coat. "I'll not hold it against you if you change your mind."

Lisa turned and smiled. It was a small smile, and it spoke of an undercurrent of nerves, but it was a genuine one. Her eyes met Carla's and they looked at each other silently for a couple of seconds, ignoring the fact they were in the way of other people trying to get their jackets back.

"I'm sure. I am 100% sure. Come on."

Lisa took her hand, leading her out of the door and into their waiting Uber. Fastening themselves in, Carla leant closer, so they could talk without fear of the driver overhearing.

"So, go on. Tell me when you first realised you fancied me." She smirked. It was an attempt to distract Lisa from her nerves and she suspected the blonde would see straight through her.

"Oh, I don't know!" Lisa looked thoughtful. "There wasn't really one moment, I don't think. And my attraction to you has always been as much to do with who you are as a person as it has been your appearance."

"Oh I must look rough these days, then! No one has ever told me they're attracted to my personality before."

"Really? I mean, you're bloody gorgeous, as I'm sure you well know." Lisa fixed her with a 'don't argue with me' stare. "But you're so much more than that. You're such easy company. And you're kind. You make me smile. And you make me feel safe."

Carla felt a lump in her throat. She felt momentarily lost for words. She'd only asked the question to be cheeky and take Lisa's mind off the fact they were heading home to have sex for the first time.

"So I don't know when I first realised I fancied you. I had fleeting moments of it long before we became friends. The day you came to the station and offered Betsy some work experience...I definitely fancied you that day. I felt a bit giddy after you left. And, I'll tell you what, I certainly fancy you right now!"

Carla laughed. "Likewise. You look so hot tonight!"

Lisa looked shy again. "I can't wait to get that jumpsuit off you."

"Oh yeah?" Carla raised her eyebrows. "What I can't wait for is to have you in front of me in your underwear, and run my hands up your sides. As much as I've joked about you giving me blue balls these last few weeks, what I'm actually looking forward to most is just being together. Being intimate."

"I guess that's why I felt so nervous, you know. If I could have just separated out the sex part, I would have HAPPILY slept with you weeks ago. But it's about so much more than that. I know this is gonna sound really corny, but I feel like I'm giving myself to you and I just didn't feel ready for that."

Carla squeezed her hand. "But you do now? Coz, like I said, there's no pressure. You're still welcome to stay over. I'll even lend you some pyjamas. Or I'm sure Ryan's got a spare giant t shirt you can borrow."

Lisa laughed. "I'm not borrowing one of Ryan's t shirts! Thank you for being so lovely. But I am sure."

Carla looked out of the window to see that they were almost there. She'd been focusing so much on dealing with Lisa's nerves that she hadn't even thought about her own. But she was nervous. For Carla, there was the added element of it being her first time with a woman. She wasn't concerned about not enjoying it. The aching in her core whenever Lisa whispered in her ear told her that she was definitely going to enjoy herself. But the blonde was so much more experienced. She would know how to make Carla feel good because she had years of experience. But Carla? She'd only ever practiced on herself. She didn't want Lisa's first time in 3 years to be a massive disappointment.

"Are you OK?" Lisa's hand was gentle on her knee.

Carla turned towards her. "I'm a bit nervous, I suppose."

"Because we're taking our relationship a step further than before? Or because I'm a woman?"

"It's daft, I know."

"No it's not." Lisa shook her head, her eyes warm and kind. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I do want to. I just don't want to be shit at it!" Carla's admission was met with a gentle scoff from the other woman.

"There's no such thing as being shit at it. It's about working together. Talking. Showing. Adjusting. Laughing."

Carla shook her head. She'd never had any of those things with her male partners.

"I just want to be able to make you feel good."

Lisa bit her lip. "I don't think you'll have any worries there."

Carla felt her face flushing. They were nearly home and Lisa was back in flirty mode. She was in big trouble.

Pushing the front door closed, Carla turned to see Lisa draping her coat across the back of the sofa. She couldn't help but stare at the blonde, curvaceous in her black jumpsuit and oddly tall in her heels. She had such a commanding presence.

"Are we having a drink or are we just...?"

Carla laughed. "Bloody hell, Lisa. Get straight to the point, why don't you!"

Lisa moved closer, wrapping her arms around Carla's neck and pulling their bodies close. She could feel Lisa breathing in her ear and her heart racing against her chest. Carla's own heart was speeding along too.

"Please..." Lisa's voice was barely a whisper in her ear.

"You sure?" Carla was surprised by just how unsteady her own voice sounded.

Pulling away, Lisa took her hand. Carla smiled as she took Lisa in the direction of her bedroom. Lisa paused to kick off her heels, shrinking a few inches and returning to her usual very petite stature.

Once inside her bedroom, Carla wasted no time. She was nervous, sure, but the want inside her was a far stronger feeling. Bringing their lips together, Carla kissed her hungrily. Lisa had hold of her hips and was maneuvering her against the wall. Finding herself sandwiched between the cool wall and the hot detective, Carla groaned. Lisa's eyes flashed with excitement. She'd heard it.

"Enjoying yourself, are you? Do you like me pressing you up against the wall like this?"

Carla groaned again, words having seemingly failed her temporarily. Lisa pressed hard against her again, her eyes staring hungrily at Carla.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"You know what would make it even better?" Carla found her voice. "Is if we took these off."

Smoothing her hands over the fabric of Lisa's jumpsuit, she saw the unbridled lust in the blonde's eyes. If she was nervous, it didn't show.

Lisa reached around, finding the zip on Carla's clothes and sliding it down slowly. Carla's breath hitched in her throat. She felt Lisa slide the material down her arms, gradually revealing Carla's flushed torso, her breasts swelling in her bra with every ragged breath. Lisa said nothing, her eyes roaming around Carla's body unashamedly. Eventually, she pushed the material over her hips and let it fall to the floor.

"Wow!"

Carla searched her eyes for signs of disappointment. Her body had taken some knocks over the years and she bore the scars to prove it. But this didn't seem to be putting Lisa off.

"Can I...?" Carla's hands were on Lisa's zip, eager to rid the other woman of her clothes and bring their bodies together more closely.

Smirking slyly, Lisa stepped back and undid her own zip, slowly sliding the material down and stepping out of the jumpsuit. Her eyes were teasing, as they watched Carla taking her all in.

Taking her hand again, Carla led her to the bed, climbing on and pulling Lisa with her.

"I've thought about this so many times." Lisa kissed gently at her neck. "So so many times."

Carla moaned at her admission, shivering at the sensation of the soft lips against her pulse point.

"You're gonna be loud, aren't you?" Lisa murmured in her ear.

"Jesus, Lisa! What happened to your nerves?"

Lisa lifted her head, looking Carla in the eye.

"I realised there was nothing to be nervous about. I trust you implicitly, Carla. And, hearing those little noises you make, and knowing that I've caused them..." Lisa smirked at her. "Fuck, that's hot!"

"You're not gonna get the better of me again, Lisa Swain! You outflirted me in that bar, but I'm not having it again!"

"We'll see!"

Lisa bent her head and started kissing down her neck again, nipping gently at her collarbone. Shifting slightly, Carla found herself on her back with the blonde lying on top of her. The feeling of their bodies finally coming together threatened to overwhelm Carla. But she needed more. Reaching round, she managed to unclip Lisa's black bra.

Seeing the surprise in Lisa's eyes, Carla chalked that up as a win. But her smug feeling didn't last long. As Lisa bent back down to continue teasing her collarbone, she felt the other woman's nipples against her skin. It was a sensation she'd never experienced before, but one she certainly hoped to experience many times in the future. Realising that Lisa was pushing the straps of her bra down, Carla held her breath. Lisa took her time.

"Please Lisa. Take it off."

With a flick of her eyebrows, Lisa did as she was told. Wasting no time, she dipped her head and took one of Carla's nipples into her mouth. Swirling the tip with her tongue, Lisa slowly teased her.

"Oh god, that feels amazing." Carla arched her back. Lisa palmed her other breast, squeezing her nipple firmly between her finger and thumb. "I can't believe we waited so long to do this!"

Lisa lifted her head. Carla took in her flushed cheeks.

"Good things come to those who wait, Carla. Were you a good girl? Did you wait for me?"

Carla nodded. "Did you?"

"Yes. Although I nearly cracked the other night. I hand my fingers between my legs before I realised what I was doing. But I stopped." Lisa smiled ruefully. "It was bloody hard, but I stopped."

Carla moaned, as the images flooded her mind. Lisa moved, sliding one of her thighs between Carla's. Suddenly the smugness was gone from Lisa's eyes, a shy smile ghosting her lips.

"What?"

"Carla...you're..."

"What?!" Carla couldn't work out what she was trying to say.

"God, you're really wet!"

Carla's face burned. She didn't think anyone had ever uttered those words to her before. It wasn't something that men ever even seemed to notice or, if they did, they pretended it wasn't happening.

"Sorry."

"Sorry?! What...?" Lisa looked at her incredulously. "Why the hell are you sorry?"

"It's just...it's a bit embarassing, isn't it."

"Is it? Why?! Carla, I am so relieved that I can have that effect on you. Part of me was worried..." She shook her head. "Well, that you'd realise it was doing nothing for you. The fact I've made you wet..."

Carla blushed again. Did she really need to keep saying that?

"I can't believe it's taken you til now to believe you're turning me on. What happened to your little remarks about me being loud?"

"You can fake little groans, though. But it's harder to fake -"

"God, don't say it again!"

"What?" Lisa was grinning at her, enjoying herself. "Say what again?"

"You know fine well!"

Lisa ran her hand slowly up the inside of one of Carla's thighs, locking her eyes into Carla's as she let her fingers skim over the crotch of her knickers.

"You're so wet!" Her husky whisper only further encouraged Carla's body's reaction.

"Well, what about you? Are you enjoying teasing me mercilessly, or it is all for show?"

Lisa laughed. "Why don't you find out?"

Carla reached out, about to run her fingers over the top of what she hoped was wet black material between Lisa's legs. Faltering slightly, she changed her mind at the last minute. Searching for any hesitation in the blonde's eyes and finding none, she slid her hand down under the material.

They both groaned loudly.

"Fuck!" Lisa's eyes screwed up tightly, as her mouth hung open.

"Oh my god, Lisa." Carla slowly moved two of her fingers through the wet heat she had found, revelling in the knowledge she'd caused that reaction. "Show me...show me how to make you feel good."

Lisa's breath was shaky, her arms trembling, as she held her position over the top of Carla. "Move up the bed and sit up."

Reluctantly, Carla removed her hand, as she did as she was told. Lisa pushed her plain black knickers down and off. Shuffling backwards, she settled between Carla's legs, sitting up with her back to her. Taking her hand, she gently moved it back between her legs, unencumbered by any clothing now.

"OK, just like this."

For the next ten minutes, Carla explored Lisa gently, taking her lead initially from the other woman, but slowly building her confidence. Lisa eventually moved her own hand away, leaving Carla to build her up on her own. Carla marvelled at the little whimpers Lisa made every now and then, quietly becoming undone.

Eventually, Carla realised she was close. She faltered slightly, marvelling that she was about to give Lisa her first non-solo orgasm in 3 years. Not wanting to lose her momentum, she continued the firm pressure that she'd learned that Lisa liked, slowly building her up.

With a quiet gasp, Lisa arched her back against Carla when her climax hit her, letting the brunette take her weight as she relaxed. The silence was punctuated only by Lisa's ragged breathing, as Carla stroked her tummy gently, not wanting to overwhelm her.

"Fuck...that was..."

Turning round, Lisa kissed her gently, the shyness back in her eyes.

"Was that OK?" Carla's imposter syndrome was always there, waiting for Lisa to admit that she hadn't been very good.

"Ermm...yeah?!" Lisa laughed. Her hair was a mess of curls and her mascara was everywhere. Carla loved that she could make her perfect girlfriend look so thoroughly...well, fucked!

"Can I..." Carla bit her lip, looking pointedly between Lisa's legs, the sight of the moisture at the tops of her thighs intensifying the ache between her own legs. "Can I...?"

"Can you what?" Lisa's grin suggested she knew exactly what she was asking.

"Lie down for me."

"Ah ah, no." Lisa shook her head. "No way are you gonna go down on me before I've even had a chance to get you out of your knickers. If it's something you want to do, who am I to stop you! But not yet. I have waited long enough to get my hands on you, Carla Connor, and I'll not be waiting any longer."

Carla gulped, nodding as Lisa removed her soaking black knickers. "As long as you don't decide we're done after this, and make me wait. I really want to...I want to put my mouth on you."

Lisa groaned. "I want that too, Carla. But we've got all night."

"All night?!" Carla wasn't sure she'd have the stamina, but she'd give it a damn good go!

Chapter Text

"Oh, it's such a good feeling, taking your make-up off, isn't it."

Carla wandered back to the bed, where Lisa was sat leaning against the pillows, her bottom half covered by the duvet but her chest uncovered. The sight of her sitting there topless, so nonchalantly, sent a fresh wave of feelings through Carla's pelvis.

Carla had let Lisa use the en suite first, finding her a spare toothbrush and some face wipes. She'd come back with her messy curls in a loose ponytail, still completely naked and now make-up free. Carla found her mesmerising. And now Carla had similarly scrubbed her make-up off and brushed her teeth. She could see Lisa staring at her naked body as she made her way back to the bed.

"You're gorgeous." Lisa leaned over and kissed her. "And thank you for tonight. It was incredible, Carla. You were definitely worth waiting for. Thank you for being so patient."

"If we'd slept together before you were ready, you would only have regretted it, wouldn't you? You might have even pushed me away."

"Probably! That sounds like me!"

Carla scoffed. "Yes, it does. So I'm glad we waited. I loved everything about being with you."

"Really?" Lisa looked at her shyly, all the bravado from earlier now gone. "Coz I know it was your first time..."

"Lisa, seriously. It was amazing. You were amazing. You're a far better lover than any of the men I've been with. You took your time. You listened to what I was saying and how I responded to what you were doing. You actually seemed to enjoy what you were doing and didn't just see it as a task to be completed."

Lisa snorted. "Is that how it is with men? Clearly I've not been missing anything."

"You've never...?"

"Nope. And I will happily spend the rest of my life not knowing what it's like to have sex with a man."

"Good, coz I'd like you to spend the..." Carla caught herself, not really wanting to finish the rest of that sentence, for fear of scaring the other woman off.

Lisa gave her a shy smile, her eyes sparkling. Brushing Carla's hair away from her face, she leaned in to kiss her softly.

"I know." She whispered.

Carla cleared her throat. This was all getting a bit deep for the middle of the night. This was really a conversation for another time.

"I really enjoyed learning, you know. I know that I was probably a bit all over the place, but practice makes perfect and all that." Carla grinned. "But, flippin' heck, Lisa, I really loved getting to touch you. And I didn't know what I'd think of...well, of going down on you, but it was amazing!"

"You were very good at it." Lisa's voice was a gravelly whisper. She had her flirty eyes back on. "Very good at it."

Carla swallowed hard. She could feel the aching at her centre starting up again. "Lisa..."

"What?" Lisa shrugged, a faux innocent expression on her face. "I'm just telling it like it is. Carla Connor is excellent at oral sex!"

Carla rolled her eyes. "Don't mock me!"

"I'm not! I'm being serious. I'll look forward to next time! But in the meantime..." Carla felt Lisa's hands slowly stroking across her hip. "Can I interest you in one more..."

Lisa's voice trailed off as her fingers slipped between Carla's legs. Carla gasped, the other woman applying featherlight touches everywhere apart from where Carla needed it.

Summoning up the strength to turn onto her side and not just sit still and let Lisa make her come undone, Carla reached under the covers until she found the neat patch of hair between Lisa's legs. Teasing her, she stroked slowly back and forth, not once dipping her hand down.

"If you don't touch me right now, I'm taking my hand away!" Lisa was slightly breathless. Carla smiled. She hadn't even touched her yet and her breathing was already laboured.

Taking pity on her, Carla let her fingers slide down, leisurely drawing circles around the small bundle of nerves. Her movements were uncoordinated, distracted by Lisa sliding two fingers slowly into her.

"Oh my god!" Carla gasped loudly. "Shit, Lisa, this isn't gonna take me long."

Trying hard to concentrate on what her own hand was doing, she changed to a firmer rubbing motion. It had worked well before and, sure enough, Lisa's breathing stuttered. After a while, she slid her hand further down and slowly pushed two fingers inside her, matching Lisa's pace.

The next few minutes were filled with the sound of both women gasping and moaning, with Carla being the far louder of the two. She could feel the familiar feelings of her own release coiling up from within her, and Lisa's walls were clenching around her fingers, signalling that she was also close.

"Yes...Carla...I'm nearly there...shit!" Lisa's eyes were screwed shut, her breathing laboured.

"Open your eyes." Carla gazed into the blonde's pale green eyes, as she felt the beginning of her orgasm coming. "Oh god...LISA!"

She felt Lisa's climax hitting a fraction after her own, even before she heard the blonde groaning. The wave of intense pleasure washing over her made her vision fuzzy.

Lisa slowly moved her hand, resting it on Carla's hip. Carla followed suit.

"I was not expecting you to do that." Carla shook her head. "I figured we were done for the night when we went to brush our teeth."

Lisa laughed giddily. "I've got 3 years of celibacy to be making up for! I do think I'm done now, though. I'm bloody knackered!"

Carla smiled. "Do you want to be big spoon or little spoon?"

"Little."

Lisa leaned over to kiss her, before turning over and scooting her bum backwards. Carla draped her arm across her waist, drawing aimless patterns across her stomach.

"Can I ask you something, Lisa?"

"Yeah?"

"The tattoo on your hip..."

Carla had noticed it when Lisa had first got undressed. Even more so than her bellybutton piercing, it was an unexpected revelation. But it was as she was kissing slowly down her torso that Carla had got a proper look at it. Two hearts side by side, one bigger than the other, and a small star above them. Carla had formed an immediate hypothesis about what it meant, but it hadn't been the right time to ask.

Lisa laced her fingers through Carla's. "I wasn't sure if you'd noticed it."

"Of course I noticed it. I spent a while down there, remember!" Carla chuckled softly. "Is it...is it you, Betsy and Becky?"

Lisa was silent and, for a moment, Carla thought she'd got it wrong, cringing at the thought of Lisa having to correct her.

"I had it done on the first anniversary. Betsy told me it was ridiculous at the time. She's since changed her mind."

"It's beautiful, Lisa. It's really beautiful."

Lisa gripped her hand tightly, her voice thick with emotion. "Part of me feels guilty about tonight, you know. Like I've betrayed her by sleeping with you."

Carla wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want to agree with her but, conversely, she didn't want to negate her feelings. Squeezing her hand, she kept quiet.

"I don't regret it. Please don't think that. Not for a second. It's just hard to push those feelings away completely. But it won't be like that forever."

Carla bent her head, lightly kissing the top of her shoulder. "I want you to be able to tell me these things. I know it's hard. This was always going to be a big hurdle for you, having sex with someone else. I feel honoured that you picked me."

"What I said earlier, in the taxi, about feeling like I was giving myself to you by having sex..." Lisa took a deep breath. "It's like...like I used to belong to Becky and now..."

"Now you belong to me? I'm not sure I'm up for one of those - what would you call it - dom/sub type relationships, love."

"Oi, you cheeky shit!" Lisa turned over suddenly, an incredulous expression adorning her face. "I'm baring my soul to you here and you're joking about buying me a collar and a lead!"

Carla threw her head back and laughed. "Sorry, sorry!"

"What I was saying, before your mind went to the gutter, was that I feel like...having sex was like the final step in committing to you. Like now I'm all yours."

Carla was lost for words. Pulling Lisa tightly against her, Carla wrapped her arms around her and stroked her back.

"What you said that day in Starbucks, about not being ready to give another piece of yourself away...I've not forgotten that. It stuck with me. And I know it's been a really big thing to let me in. You can trust me."

Lisa's breath was warm on her neck. "Thank you."

Over the course of the next few minutes they gradually shuffled position until Carla was lying on her back with Lisa snuggled into her side. She felt Lisa's breathing slowly evening out and eventually her own eyes grew heavy, as she slipped off to sleep minutes behind her.

"Breakfast?"

Carla smiled at the blonde, who was standing in the doorway of the en suite, toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

They had slept late, neither of them waking until after 9 o'clock. They'd both been exhausted after their evening of dancing and their night of passion. Carla couldn't remember when she last had such a good night. They'd both needed a shower and had behaved sensibly by going in one at a time. Carla knew exactly what would have happened if they'd shared a shower and, as amazing as that would have been, they were both still recovering from the night before. Lisa had washed the curls out of her hair and now it hung wet around her shoulders. Carla hoped she'd get to see it curled again. Having lent her a dressing gown, she was hoping they might spend a lazy day together. From what she could gather, Betsy was at a friend's and wouldn't miss her mum for hours yet.

Returning from rinsing her toothbrush, Lisa grinned. "I'd love breakfast. I'm starving!"

Leading them out into the kitchen, Carla stuck the kettle on and opened the fridge, surveying the contents.

"Eggs?"

"Ooooo yes, a nice fried egg!"

"I was going to say poached."

"Oh come on! I'm mildly hungover and I'm starving! After last night, I feel like I need refuelling!"

"After last night, I feel like I need some ear plugs and a psychiatrist!" Ryan casually leant against the doorframe of his bedroom. "I do NOT need to hear "LISA" being shouted repeatedly for hours on end! By my auntie, no less."

"Jesus Christ!" Lisa's face had blushed a deep crimson.

"Well, thanks for that, Ryan! That's just what I want to hear my nephew saying over breakfast."

"How do you think I feel?" He smirked back. "I'd ask how things are going but, well, I don't need to!"

Lisa continued to look mortified. "Sorry, Ryan."

"Oh, don't be sorry. It's my flat." Carla looked at Ryan pointedly. "And if I want to bring my girlfriend home and have sex with her all night, I will!"

If it was even possible, Lisa's cheeks turned even redder. "It wasn't all night."

"It felt like it!" Ryan grinned.

Carla pulled Lisa closer, her hands on the front of the dressing gown she was wearing. Kissing her lightly, she smirked.

"It felt like it to me, too!"

"Carla!!"

Ryan laughed. As much as he was teasing, Carla knew he was actually really pleased for them. He'd spent so long helping Carla to work out her feelings, and then deal with the aftermath of her initial disastrous proposition. It was really refreshing to be able to show him how happy they were now.

"Anyway, what was all this I heard about fried eggs?"

Chapter Text

"Right, you horrible lot! Lunchtime!"

Carla's stomach rumbled. She'd skipped breakfast and now she was ravenous. All morning she'd been craving a bacon butty from Roy's and it was finally an appropriate time to nip out of the factory for lunch.

Wandering along to Roy's, she chuckled at the memory of her and Lisa minding the place the other week. Lisa had been great, multitasking with ease. Carla had been very impressed and, although she might not admit it to the blonde, she'd found her efficiency very attractive. But, more so than that, it made her think about the future. Yes, it was far too soon to be thinking about the long term, but Carla couldn't help but dream of a day when Lisa was stood in their kitchen, chopping vegetables for their dinner. It was something that Carla craved. And maybe it could be a reality in the future. She'd told Lisa she loved her and, whilst the other woman hadn't said it back, she certainly hadn't discouraged it. She hadn't run away. Since having sex for the first time last weekend, Carla felt there was a new closeness to their relationship, if that was even possible. Lisa had been right about what she'd been saying; there was something special about giving themselves to each other. Carla had never seen sex that way, even in her long term relationships. It was something fun. It was sometimes something boring. And, yes, it was about connection. But the raw intimacy she'd felt with Lisa was something entirely new to her. The conversations they'd had, laying open their feelings...it was a new level of closeness that Carla hadn't felt before.

Pushing open the door to Roy's, she spotted the object of her affections stood at the counter. She smiled. This was a nice surprise. Lisa was dressed smartly, a black blazer over a pale pink shirt. Carla always felt a stirring in her groin at the sight of Lisa in her DS Swain clothes. The power dressing was very attractive.

Stood next to Lisa was Dee-Dee, a woman who Carla liked, but barely knew. But Lisa got on really well with her. They went for drinks sometimes. Carla hoped the detective would be able to use Dee-Dee as a confidante, if ever there were things she couldn't talk to Carla about. Lisa was quite a closed book at times, and Carla worried about how much she bottled up.

"So you and Carla, then?"

Carla stopped in the doorway, realising that neither Lisa nor Dee-Dee had noticed her. She hadn't been planning to eavesdrop, but she wanted to hear the response to Dee-Dee's question.

"What about me and Carla?" Lisa's voice was light and joyful.

"Well...you've sorted your differences, I take it? And that man has stopped sniffing around her?"

Lisa scoffed. "Yes, I think he eventually got the message. I did feel a bit bad for him. I was probably a bit rude."

Carla raised her eyebrows silently. She'd feared for Matthew's safety, that day in Freshcos.

"But yes, we've sorted our differences." Lisa paused. "I was such an idiot. But she's been brilliant."

"Oooooo check you out! You're all loved-up, aren't you?" Dee-Dee nudged her gently. "It sounds like things are pretty serious."

"Yeah, I guess so. I don't do casual, Dee-Dee. That's why I was so afraid of letting her in. But I really..." Lisa let the sentence trail off. "Well, I can really see a future for us. I'm so glad she gave me a second chance."

"It's just as well I'm so brilliant then, isn't it!" Carla couldn't stand there eavesdropping any longer. She felt a bit guilty.

Lisa's smile lit up her face as Carla walked over and kissed her softly. Carla could feel her own face glowing.

"Do you two want to stay and have lunch, or are you both heading back to work?" Carla hoped they might keep her company with her bacon butty.

"I've got half an hour or so, I think." Lisa's eyes never left Carla's.

"Maybe I should make myself scarce, eh?" Dee-Dee raised her eyebrows. "Leave the two of you to your date."

"Nah, stay." Carla pulled her eyes away from Lisa to smile at Dee-Dee. "Grab a table. I'll bring your lunch over."

"Are you working here again?" Dee-Dee smirked. "I heard about you two running this place."

"God no! Once was enough! If it wasn't for this one -'

"The place would've been shut down!" Lisa grinned. "Filter coffee, tea and fizzy pop. That's what's on offer at Carla's caff."

"Don't take the piss, you! I was doing my best! It's not my fault -"

"What? That you can't cook sausages without cremating them?"

"It just means you'll have to do all the cooking in the future, when we're..." Carla's brain caught up with her mouth, stopping herself before her fantasy future came out of her mouth.

"I'll do the cooking if you do the cleaning?" There was something in Lisa's eyes that Carla couldn't quite identify. It looked like a challenge, daring her to keep talking about their future. But there was a nervousness there too. The blonde looked anxious that Carla might laugh it all off.

"It's a deal." Carla reached out to shake her hand, their eyes locked together. "As long as that daughter of yours does her bit, too. And I'm not dealing with cat litter."

"You've got a cat?" Dee-Dee interjected, an incredulous expression on her face.

"It's called Potato." Carla grinned, her gaze still locked into the pale green eyes in front of her.

"We don't have cat litter. He goes outside." Lisa smiled. The nerves looked like they'd dissipated.

Shona broke their moment to announce that Lisa and Dee-Dee's toasties were ready. Dee-Dee took them to a table, leaving Carla and Lisa at the counter to wait for Carla's lunch.

"I liked hearing you say that." Lisa looked at her shyly.

"What?"

"Talking about us, in the future. And Betsy. Like we might be all living together."

"Might be? Lisa, listen..." Carla took both of her hands. "I knew what I was signing up for, when we got together. You two come as a package. I think about our future all the time. And, I know it's probably getting a bit ahead of myself to daydream about that, but I'm 50. I'm not interested in quick flings or meaningless relationships that aren't going anywhere. You and me...I'm serious about us."

She felt Lisa squeeze her hands. "I think about it too."

"Alright, lovebirds? Here's your jacket potato, Carla. You want a hand carrying it over? You look like you've got your hands full!"

Carla rolled her eyes at Shona. "I think I'll manage, thanks."

"You know, Carla, it's quite a surprise, seeing you with a woman. You've got quite a reputation as a maneater."

Lisa's eyebrows shot up at Shona's statement, but Carla just laughed. Since her brain injury, Shona wasn't exactly known for her tact. And, to be fair, she wasn't wrong.

"Well now I'm a woman eater." She said, as deadpan as she could manage. Lisa snorted beside her, shooting her an 'I can't believe you've just said that' face.

Shona tipped her head back, cackling so loudly that half of the customers turned to stare at her.

"Well, whatever floats your boat!"

The pair headed over to where Dee-Dee was sitting waiting. Lisa shook her head, a wry smile on her face.

"You are honestly ridiculous!"

Carla grinned. "I was telling the truth though, wasn't I?"

"Carla!"

That evening, Carla blitzed the flat, running the hoover around and scrubbing the en suite. She'd had a busy afternoon, but she was feeling productive. And, if Lisa was going to be coming over more often, she wanted to make sure the place was presentable.

Finally finished, she settled down on the sofa with a cup of tea and some snacks. She'd just put the tv on when her phone buzzed and, picking it up, she smiled at the name on the screen.

[Lisa] Hey gorgeous! I'm sorry I couldn't stay long at lunchtime

Carla grinned. She couldn't help herself. Lisa made her feel like a giddy teenager with her first crush. It was ridiculous how smitten she was.

[Carla] Oh I'll forgive you! You've got baddies to catch

[Lisa] I didn't catch any baddies today. I spent half the afternoon trying to find out which local businesses had cctv footage of an alley where some kid got jumped.

[Carla] I thought you'd have minions to do that sort of thing

[Lisa] I can just see Craig Tinker in a pair of dungarees and some big round glasses

Carla laughed, taking a sip of tea.

[Lisa] Do NOT tell him I said that!!

[Carla] Your secret's safe with me 🤐

[Carla] Anyway, when are we next going on a date?

[Lisa] Needy!

[Carla] Oi!

[Lisa] Saturday? I probably don't have time before that, unfortunately. Fancy the cinema?

[Carla] Only if you're gonna snog me in the back row

[Lisa] I'll do more than that, if you like

Carla stared at her phone. Every time she thought she knew Lisa, she surprised her.

[Lisa] Too much?

[Carla] Definitely not too much!

[Lisa] Wear a skirt

Carla felt a flutter deep inside her at what Lisa was insinuating. Her pulse had quickened and she knew her cheeks were flushed. She was glad Ryan wasn't home. Picking her phone up, she decided to play the game.

[Carla] Why do you want me to wear a skirt?

[Lisa] Are you being serious? Or are you taking the piss?

[Carla] No I'm actually being serious. I was planning to wear my skinny jeans

[Lisa] Oh nevermind! What shall we go to see?

Carla sighed. She'd played the game too well.

[Carla] I'm only joking Lisa. I know EXACTLY why you want me to wear a skirt. And I shall. Gladly. It's good timing, actually, coz Underworld have just completed an order of deep red lacy Brazilian knickers and I have been wanting to test drive a pair.

[Lisa] Oh my god, I thought you were being serious!!!! I thought you were gonna call me a dirty perv for wanting to feel you up in the back row of the cinema!

[Carla] No no. If you want to slip your hand up my skirt in the cinema, who am I to protest.

[Lisa] Ah, but can you come quietly?

Carla swallowed hard. The heat was building between her legs. Images of Lisa's fingers touching damp red knickers, in the back row of the cinema, ran through her mind and she groaned. Finishing off her tea, she headed into her bedroom and lay down.

[Carla] I'll do my best. No promises though. You've heard how loudly I moan your name

[Lisa] I love it! I can't wait to hear you again

[Carla] Put me on speakerphone

[Lisa] Now??

Carla dialled Lisa's number, not really thinking through exactly what she was gonna say.

"Hi!"

"Hi. I just thought you might want a preview."

"What do you...?"

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm in the living room."

"Is Betsy home?"

"No. She's at Tim and Sally's with Mason. They're having a Jurassic Park marathon."

"OK, that's weird, but whatever. Go up to your bedroom."

"OK. Heading up the stairs right now."

Carla laughed at the sudden urgency in Lisa's voice. She couldn't really believe what she was about to do, but hey ho. They were both adults. And it was just a bit of fun.

"OK that's me in my room now."

"What are you wearing?"

"I've still got my work stuff on. Same as earlier."

"Take your shirt off. Slowly."

"OK. I'm undoing the buttons. Only one left now. And that's it off. Shall I take my trousers off?"

"Yes. And tell me about your underwear."

"It's not exciting, I'm afraid. Plain black knickers. Totally mismatched with my white bra."

"Ah, but are they..."

"What?"

Carla could hear the teasing in her voice. This was fast turning into a repeat of the last time. She wasn't going to be beaten this time.

"You know what I'm asking you. Are they wet, Lisa?"

"They're soaking."

Carla felt the ache in her centre intensify. She squeezed her thighs together tightly, as she moaned down the phone.

"Oh god! I wish I was there. I want to touch you. I want to feel it for myself."

"All in good time, Carla. Now, are you still dressed?"

"Yes. I've got a t shirt and leggings on."

"Take them off."

Carla did as she was asked. Looking down at her black knickers she frowned. They weren't her fanciest pair, that's for sure. Still, Lisa wasn't concerned about that right now.

Snapping a photos of her pelvis, one leg bent at the knee, she sent it to Lisa. Hearing the other woman's phone ping at the other side, she smiled.

"Oh my god! Carla! Please, can we...? Together?"

"My pleasure! And yours, of course!"

Carla slipped her hand down into her knickers, completely unsurprised by how wet they were. Finding a slow and steady rhythm, she drew gentle circles around her clit. The heavy breathing coming down the phone suggested Lisa was doing similar.

"Tell me then, what are you going to do to me in the cinema?"

"Oh Carla! I'm going to draw little patterns on your thigh for ages. You won't be able to concentrate on the film. I'll gradually move higher and higher, but I'll take my time. I want to get you worked up."

"You've certainly got me worked up right now. I'm so wet, my fingers are sliding all over the place."

She'd finally managed to say it! She wanted to point this out, but it didn't seem like the right time!

Lisa moaned loudly. The sound almost made Carla come on the spot.

"Are you close, Lisa?"

"Yes! Really close."

"Not yet! Not yet. Tell me more about the cinema."

"Well when I eventually get to the top of your thighs, I'm going to stroke you lightly over the top of your knickers. I want to feel the wet lace. I'll check around to make sure no one is watching. Then I'll push them to the side."

"Jesus!"

Carla could feel the first tightenings of her climax building and her breathing was becoming laboured. The low gravelly voice on the phone was combining with the lewd sounds coming from between her legs to build her up increasingly quickly.

"I'm nearly there Carla! Oh!! Fuck!! I really want to push my fingers deep inside you and fuck you hard, and rub your clit with my thumb. Fuck! I want to make you come so hard."

The sudden change in the tone of Lisa's voice took Carla by surprise. She could tell that the other woman was desperate, holding off as long as she could.

"Lisa...shit...I'm gonna come! Fuck! Are you...argh!!"

The sudden loud groan from the other side of the phone gave Carla her answer, and she let go, the intense pleasure washing over her as she shouted the other woman's name loudly. Jerking hard with the aftershocks, she could hear Lisa's breathing slowly calming.

"Fucking hell, Carla! That was incredible."

"Yes it was! No pressure or anything, but I'll be expecting a lot from you when we're at the cinema!"

"I'm sure I can deliver!"

"Oh I'm sure you can, darling!"

"Oh shit! That's Betsy home! I better sort myself out and go and see her."

"You've already sorted yourself out."

"Alright, cheeky! I need to go."

"I'll see you on Saturday, then!"

"It's a date!"

Chapter Text

Carla had been counting down the days until their cinema date, the promise of shenanigans increasing the anticipation tenfold. She'd selected a black, flowy knee-length skirt, the material easy to maneuver, and teamed it with her knee length boots. It meant she could have bare legs, without it looking strange in the cold weather. Lisa had looked her up and down appreciatively when she'd picked her up, her eyes dark.

"I didn't know if you would actually go through with it." She bit her lip in that way that drove Carla wild.

"I've been looking forward to it for days." Carla admitted. "I notice you've not afforded me the same ease of access!"

Carla nodded at Lisa's high waisted jeans, complete with a belt.

"Can you imagine me in a skirt?" Lisa raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, actually." Carla was serious for a moment, the flirting put to the side. "I think you'd look beautiful in a skirt. I love the softer side of you. All those cute fluffy jumpers you've got."

Lisa snorted. "It's not really me, though, skirts."

Carla shrugged. She'd never want to force Lisa to wear something she wasn't comfortable in. "Well you look gorgeous today. It just means I'll have to wait until we get home to get my hands on you."

"Patience is a virtue, Carla!"

"I'm not renowned for my patience, me."

"You were patient with me. I friendzoned you for weeks, and then shut you out completely, and you waited and waited for me to realise what was right in front of my face."

Lisa tilted her head, brushing her lips lightly against Carla's.

"Well, now that I've got you..." Carla whispered against her lips. "I don't want to waste another second."

Lisa kissed her again. "Come on, then. We've got tickets booked for a film we're not gonna watch! We better get going."

They'd misjudged it and ended up at the cinema ages before the film was due to start. It was only just after 6 o'clock and the place was full of families. Carla was slightly regretting coming this early, but it was the latest showing of the only film they both had any interest in. It was a 12A and a film that had been out a couple of weeks, so Carla hoped it wouldn't be overrun. There was no way she could entertain the idea of a quick fumble in the back row if there were kids in the vicinity.

Looking around for a way to kill half an hour, Carla frowned at the "closed" sign at the bar. The only other option was the arcade.

"Do you want to see if they've got a pool table?" Carla ventured.

"Sure."

Carla had never played pool with Lisa before. She had no idea if she was any good, although she suspected she was. Although perhaps her height held her back. She'd have to climb onto the table to reach some shots. Carla smiled at the thought of checking out her bum as she leaned across the table. Carla herself was pretty good at pool, but she wouldn't let on to Lisa. She'd wait and see what happened.

Wandering round the arcade, she was disappointed that there was no sign of a pool table. Defeated, she was going to head back out when Lisa's eyes lit up. Turning to see what she was looking at, Carla realised she was staring at the dance machine. She'd been on one of these once, after a few too many cocktails with Michelle. Unlike pool, she wasn't very good.

"Are you being serious?"

"Yes! Live a little! Betsy used to drag me on these things a lot when she was younger. I used to sometimes take her to the arcade for a while if Becky was on nights, to let her get some sleep. She did a lot more nights than me. One of the privileges of being a detective. Betsy was pretty good and it made me quite competitive."

"Competitive? You?"

"Oi!" Lisa shot her a look, pretending to be far more offended than she actually was. "Come on!"

Carla reluctantly climbed onto the machine, as Lisa put a pound coin in. The pounding dance music reminded her of something she might have gone clubbing to in the early 90s.

It was safe to say, Carla was not very good at this. Lisa, on the other hand, was staring intently at the screen, her concentration unbroken since the start. Her ability to stomp her feet down just as the arrows got to the top amazed Carla. Lisa was a woman of many talents.

When the song came to an end, Lisa turned to grin at Carla. She was slightly red in the face, a mixture of exertion and exhilaration colouring her cheeks.

"Again?"

"Oh no, once is enough for me!" Carla shook her head.

"I'll take you on!"

They both whirled round to see where the source of the voice was. A girl, maybe around 11 or 12, was stood watching them. Lisa looked at Carla, trying to work out what to say.

"Go on! You're really good! Can I see if I can beat you?"

Carla looked around, but she couldn't work out who the girl was with. There didn't appear to be a group of friends nearby, and certainly no evidence of an adult. It felt a bit strange to be taking on a child in a dance-off. As if reading their minds, the girl nodded her head in the direction of the refreshments counter.

"My dad's buying us sweets for the film, but the queue's really long."

Lisa nodded, shrugging at Carla. "OK then, you're on!"

Feeding another pound coin into the machine, Lisa let the girl pick the song. The two of them battled it out quite equally, but the girl having slightly better reaction times to the quicker sections. As it came to an end, Carla saw a figure approaching them.

"You've got to be kidding me." She muttered under her breath.

Lisa turned, her face turning a deep shade of red. "Oh no."

"Dad!" The girl beamed. "I won!"

Lisa closed her eyes, exhaling deeply, as the girl ran over to see what snacks he had bought.

Carla took Lisa's hand, helping her step down from the machine. Keeping their fingers entwined, she gave her hand a squeeze.

"Every time I see that man, I make a complete fool of myself. And now, apparently, here he is, watching his daughter thrash me on the dance machine." Lisa's voice was low.

"Well this is a surprise!" Matthew looked amused.

Carla tried not to grin too broadly, although she too found the situation comical, if a bit surreal. She suspected Lisa wasn't finding it quite so hilarious and, if it was anything like their last few encounters with Matthew, Carla didn't want to give Lisa any reason to fly off the handle.

"Hi." She smiled briefly at him. "Is this your daughter?"

"Yes. This is Olivia." He turned to his daughter. "Olivia, this is Carla and...er...Detective Sergeant Swain."

Carla couldn't help the snort of laughter she let out at that introduction. Lisa's face had gone even redder, if that was at all possible. Olivia was eyeing them with amusement, an eyebrow risen at the formal title he'd used to introduce the blonde.

"Lisa." She choked out. "It's Lisa."

"Right." The girl looked between the three adults, sensing an odd atmosphere, but not quite putting her finger on what was going on. "So...has one of you had a thing with my dad?"

This time it was Matthew's turn to redden. "Olivia!"

"He's had a lot of girlfriends." The girl offered, by way of an explanation.

"Neither of us, love." Carla answered for the three of them.

"No, I guess not. You're lesbians." Olivia nodded matter-of-factly.

"Olivia!"

"What? They're holding hands! It's not an offensive word, Dad!"

Carla couldn't help but smile at this confident kid, who was showing her dad up with her sass. She wasn't about to correct her about her sexuality. It wasn't important. She knew that when strangers saw her with Lisa they'd assume she was gay, and she was OK with that. She felt Lisa squeeze her hand.

"Your dad's had lots of girlfriends, then?" Carla grinned at Olivia, not able to resist the opportunity to tease Matthew. She hoped it wouldn't cause an issue with Lisa. She could do without her misplaced jealousy.

"Oh yeah, loads. My mum died when I was a baby. He's spent the last couple of years trying to find someone, now that I'm a bit older."

"Oh." Lisa looked at him. Carla watched her eyes meet his, like she was seeing him for the first time. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "It was a long time ago now. It's ok."

"Listen, Matthew...I'm sorry about the last few times we've met. They've not been my finest moments."

"Don't worry." Matthew smiled openly at her. "I don't blame you for wanting to fight me for her. She's gorgeous."

"Yes she is." Lisa laughed. "Well it's thanks to you we got together. Seeing you laughing together in Freshcos, it made me realise how badly I couldn't bear to lose her."

Olivia was watching the exchange with some amusement. "Did you fight over her?"

"Almost, love!" Carla smirked. "My money would have been on Lisa!"

"Mine too." The girl grinned back.

"Mine three!" Matthew laughed, looking at Lisa. "You're bloody terrifying when you're angry!"

"Well, I did win you, didn't I?" Lisa's smile at Carla was small, but the smugness was evident in her eyes.

Olivia was loving the exchange between the adults. "This is like something out of a film!"

"Speaking of which..." Lisa looked at her watch.

"Yes, we'd better head in." Matthew nodded. "What screen are you off to?"

"5." Carla responded, looking at her phone.

"Us too."

Carla shot Lisa a look of horror, as the four of them slowly made their way towards the door to Screen 5. Oblivious to their plight, Olivia turned to them as they headed in.

"Are you gonna sit with us?"

"Er..."

"No, come on love. Leave the two of them to their date. I'm gonna draw the line at being a third wheel."

Heading into the screen, Carla looked to see where their seats were. They'd booked the back row and, thankfully, no one was sitting in their seats. But, looking around, Carla realised their plan was going to be futile. Almost every seat was taken, including the seats either side of them. There was absolutely no way they could covertly get up to anything X-rated in the back row. In the row in front, Olivia turned and waved at them.

Carla shook her head ruefully. "We misjudged this one, didn't we!"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Spectacularly."

"You'll have to wait til we get home, then!" Carla leaned over, conscious that her raised voice would be easily overheard if the general hubub suddenly quietened down. "I put my new red knickers on especially."

Lisa turned, licking her lips unconsciously.

Carla smirked. "And the matching bra."

Lisa shook her head. "I can't believe I've got to sit here for the next couple of hours while I know you're next to me in red lacy underwear."

"Shall we just get out of here?"

Lisa looked over at her, trying to judge if she was being serious.

"It's now or never. The film's about to start." Carla looked at her expectantly.

Standing up abruptly, Lisa grabbed her hand, practically dragging her along the row.

"I'll take that as a yes, then." Carla muttered to herself.

Chapter Text

Everything was going well with Lisa. Sometimes Carla had to pinch herself to check if it was all real. She enjoyed going on dates with her, but she also loved just snuggling up with her on the sofa, watching trash tv and drinking tea. Or wine, if the fancy took them. She often caught the other woman staring at her, blushing when she was caught. They'd spent several nights together now and Carla had been very relieved to discover that she could make Lisa feel good. It had been something she'd worried about, but it seemed she had no need. She'd coaxed noises out of the blonde that she never thought she'd hear. She'd heard absolute filth stream from her mouth as Carla had built her slowly towards a climax. Carla couldn't get enough of it. It was the most erotic thing she'd ever experienced, this woman with the face of an angel shouting expletives and telling her in explicit detail what she wanted Carla to do. Even the thought of it turned her on.

This evening they were going to a fancy restaurant on the other side of Manchester. Lisa had fulfilled her promise of treating Carla for her 50th birthday, booking a tasting menu at a place Carla had always wanted to try. Carla had bought another new dress for the occasion. This one was a deep burgundy and reached the floor, tight enough to show off her figure without being too revealing. She'd painted her nails a matching colour.

Lisa arrived in a taxi at exactly 6.30pm, as arranged. She had got out to buzz Carla's door, and Carla's jaw had dropped when she opened the door. Lisa's pale grey silk shirt was tucked into black, slim-fitting trousers and she was wearing the same heels she'd worn the other week. Her hair was curled again and her beautiful smile lit up when Carla came out of her flat.

"You look...Carla you look AMAZING!"

Carla kissed her lightly, not wanting to smudge both of their make up. "So do you. Do we need to go to dinner? Do you want to send the taxi away and just come upstairs?"

Lisa laughed. "Oi! This is supposed to be your 50th birthday treat. And anyway..."

Carla watched her smile falter. She chewed her lip, looking away.

"What?" She took Lisa's hand, running her thumb over the back of it gently.

"Today is my heavy period day. I've had a hot water bottle tucked into my joggers all evening while I was getting ready. I don't think I'll be up to -"

"I'll have to wait til another day to have my wicked way with you, then, won't I!"

The nerves visibly washed from Lisa's face. "Is that OK? I feel bad."

"Come on, Lisa. I know what periods are like. Sometimes, having sex is the absolute last thing you want to do. Listen, if you want to get a takeaway and put our comfy clothes on, I'm totally up for that."

"No no." Lisa shook her head. "I'm fine, honestly. I want to wine and dine you. Will you stay at mine tonight? I've missed waking up with you."

Carla smiled. "Of course. I'd love to. Come on then. Let's go and eat tiny portions of extortionately priced food!"

Lisa slapped her gently on the arm, laughing as she called her an ungrateful cow. Carla grinned playfully. She'd never get bored of this.

Dinner was amazing. Carla wasn't used to going to such incredible places. Peter was never one for fine dining. Lisa, on the other hand, was excited by every course that arrived, savouring all the tastes on the plate. Carla loved watching her. Her excited little smile when she tried the mushroom tart. Her little nose wrinkle when she put the basil jelly in her mouth and took an instant dislike to it.

"Stop staring at me!" Lisa laughed eventually. "Don't think I can't see you."

"Sorry." Carla wasn't sorry. Not at all. "But you're mesmerising."

"Oh whatever!" Lisa rolled her eyes. "Come on, tell me about your day or something."

"It was fine. I saw Abi at Roy's. She's looking better."

"Good." Lisa nodded. "It must have been awful for her, having psychotic symptoms."

"Yeah, it's pretty terrifying, to lose your grip on reality, like that."

"Back when Stephen Reid was on the scene, you mentioned that you've had problems in the past with psychosis..." Lisa left the end of her sentence hanging, inviting Carla to open up without directly asking.

"Yeah, it was a good few years ago, now. The factory roof collapsed and it killed a girl called Rana. She was due to become my sister in law later that day. It was awful. I had a massive breakdown." Carla took a drink of her wine, staring into the deep red liquid in the glass. "I didn't know what was real and what wasn't. I was paranoid all the time and I ended up disappearing off grid for ages. I don't even remember huge bits of that time, but I know that...well, let's just say there were some people who took advantage of the state I was in."

She didn't elaborate further and Lisa didn't ask. She could see the blonde looking at her, her pale eyes reflecting her concern. She reached across the table and squeezed Carla's arm gently.

"That must have been terrifying for you."

Carla nodded. "Yeah it was. Which is why I was so angry when I found out Stephen was poisoning me. How dare he make me feel like I was losing my grip on reality again."

She nearly added that she was glad he was dead, but she didn't think Lisa would appreciate that line of conversation. Peter had almost got charged with murder and Carla didn't want to say anything that might make the blonde swap her 'concerned girlfriend' head for her 'DS Swain' one.

"Anyway, enough about that. You don't want to hear about me and my history of mental illness."

"Yes I do." Lisa looked her in the eye again, her face serious. "I want to know all about it. If it happens again, I want to know how to support you."

Carla felt a warm feeling pass over her. Lisa was looking to the future. A future where she might be supporting her through a really difficult time. She felt tears prickle in her eyes, as she looked away.

"I was depressed for a while." Lisa continued.

Carla looked at her carefully. Lisa had told her several times, over recent months, that she struggled to get up in the morning at times. Back in October, she'd admitted to Carla that she didn't think it would be the worst thing if she got killed at work. It seemed like perhaps there was still a dark cloud over Lisa. One which Carla knew she'd need to keep an eye on.

"Yeah?"

"After Betsy was born. She was early, you know. Totally unexpected and it threw us off. Nothing was ready. The nursery wasn't painted, we had no nappies bought, the car seat was still in a box. And then suddenly she was here, this tiny thing that we had to take care of. Even though she'd been the one to give birth, Becky just took it all in her stride. She was tired and a bit emotional at times, but she just got on. But I..." Lisa ran her fingers down the stem of her wine glass. "I got depressed. My GP called it post natal depression, but how could it possibly be? I wasn't the one who'd just had a baby. I should have been the strong one. But, sometimes, everything just felt so bleak. I loved Betsy so much, but her crying set my teeth on edge and I just felt so guilty that I couldn't shake myself out of the black cloud and look after them both. My GP referred me to the perinatal counselling service, but they wouldn't see me coz I wasn't the one who'd had the baby. I just had to keep going, showing up to work without having any sleep, not able to remember the last thing I ate."

Carla could see Lisa had disappeared into her head. She let her continue, sensing it was important she was able to tell her story.

"My GP was great. I ended up on antidepressants for a while, but I didn't like them. They made me feel a bit...like I didn't care about anything, I suppose. Maybe that was the depression, I don't know. I told her all sorts of things - things I couldn't have admitted to Becky at the time - and she just listened. Bit by bit, I started to feel a bit more human again. It took me a while to bond with Betsy, though, and I always feel like it made a difference. Becky just seemed to KNOW her, you know? Know what she needed. And I feel like I've spent 17 years not having any kind of clue what I'm doing. I never managed any of the touchy feely bits of parenting. But I vowed, once I got my head together, that I'd always look after them. I didn't look after either of them when she was first born and I guess I always felt I had a lot of making up to do. But I failed, didn't I."

"What? Of course you didn't. Betsy's a great kid, and that's thanks to you and Becky. Both of you made her who she is."

"But Becky's dead. I didn't keep her safe."

"But that's not on you, love. It's not." Carla took both of her hands, gripping them firmly. "It's on the low lives who hit her with that car. None of that is on you."

Lisa stared at the table. "I'm sorry for ruining your birthday dinner with my moaning."

"You're not moaning! You're opening up to me about something that is really important. It's a huge thing that you're confiding in me, trusting me with. And I feel honoured that you feel able to tell me about it. Remember, the other week, you said you didn't feel like you could give a piece of yourself to me. But that's what you've just done." Carla squeezed her hands gently. "I'll look after that piece, I promise."

"Thank you." Lisa whispered, her eyes glassy. She was silent for a couple of seconds, staring at Carla like she was the most important thing in the world. "I love you."

Carla couldn't help the sharp intake of breath, her own eyes filling with tears as she smiled back at Lisa.

"I love you too. More than I can even try to put into words."

Lisa nodded. "I'm sorry that I didn't say it back before. It wasn't that I didn't -"

"You don't need to explain, Lisa. I know how you feel about me. I can see it in your eyes."

Those eyes lit up, a bright spark dancing across her face. "Well now that I've said it out loud, I'm gonna say it all the time. Every morning, every night before I go to sleep, whether we're together or not. I love you, Carla Connor!"

Carla laughed. A year ago, she'd never even seen this woman smile. And now she was sat across the table, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She looked radiant, her shirt making her eyes a piercing grey colour.

"I'm looking forward to a cuddle in bed tonight. I've missed falling asleep with you." Carla tangled their fingers together, looking at her painted nails next to Lisa's neat natural ones.

"Me too." Lisa bit her lip, looking at Carla like she was her whole world.

There was a beat of silence as they sat, taking each other in. Lisa's face relaxed as she looked around the room. It was like she'd been so caught up in what she was saying, she'd forgotten where she was.

As if on cue, the waiter appeared with their dessert. Carla looked at the plate, trying to work out what it was. There was some kind of biscuit, some sauce and chantilly cream, and something that looked suspiciously like Angel Delight.

Lisa let out a small laugh. "Come on, stuff that in and let's get out of here! I can't wait to get back to mine and curl up on the sofa together."

Carla grinned, scraping up the cream, sauce and mysterious pink blob with her biscuit and sticking it in whole. She was still chewing it when Lisa got up, credit card in hand, to pay.

"Thank you for tonight. I've had a lovely birthday."

"You're welcome. It's not every day you turn 50, is it. I can't believe I almost missed it completely. I'm glad you told me, in the end."

Carla smiled. "And I've got a year to plan yours, haven't I!"

"Yes. You're my older woman."

"Oi!"

"MILF!"

"Don't you ever say that to me again, do you hear me?!"

Carla chased Lisa out of the door, listening to the blonde laughing her head off.

Chapter Text

The clock ticked. It was 1am. Lisa lay in bed, watching the rise and fall of her own chest, brunette hair spilled across her t shirt. Carla was asleep on her shoulder. Lisa was uncomfortable. She really needed to move. But she wouldn't. Not yet, anyway. Not while Carla was so peaceful.

It had been the perfect evening. Dinner had been fun, the 7 courses delighting all of her senses. And Carla had enjoyed it too, which was the most important thing.

Carla. Her girlfriend.

Coming back here, Lisa had felt a bit frustrated that her body didn't feel up to having sex. They were in the honeymoon stage of their relationship and they had an empty house. But the pain in her lower abdomen put her off, not to mention the fact she was bleeding heavily. But Carla didn't seem to mind.

"We've got the rest of our lives to have sex, Lisa."

The rest of our lives.

The idea rolled around in Lisa's head. How had they got here? One minute she was trying to squash down the feelings she'd developed for her friend and, the next, that same friend was telling her she was in love with her and wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. The sincerity in Carla's voice took her breathe away. It made her feel safe.

It made her feel guilty.

Watching Carla's hair, fanned out on her shoulder, Lisa couldn't help but think about the last brunette she'd shared a bed with. The woman she thought she'd always share a bed with. The woman she'd lost.

Becky.

What would she think of what Lisa was doing? A huge part of her felt like she was betraying her wife. But Becky was gone. She was gone and Lisa was tired of being lonely. Carla had laid her heart on the line for Lisa. She'd been brave when Lisa couldn't be. She'd helped Lisa see that she could be happy again.

Lisa was happy again.

Shifting herself slightly, she felt Carla stir.

"Shhh darling, it's ok. Go back to sleep."

Wrapping her arms around Carla, she felt the gentle pulse of her heart. She smelled the expensive shampoo she used. She looked at her face, relaxed and make-up free and so stunningly beautiful.

Carla loved her. She loved Carla.

It had been a struggle to say it. Not because she didn't think it. She'd been in love with Carla for months. But because she felt guilty. Guilty for loving someone that wasn't her wife. If she didn't say it out loud, maybe she could pretend...

No. She couldn't pretend. She wouldn't pretend.

This was it for her. Carla was her future.

The brunette stirred again, her hand slipping just under Lisa's t shirt and stroking her tummy absentmindedly. She'd spent half of the evening doing it when they'd first come to bed. It felt nice.

Kissing the top of her head, Lisa relaxed her head back onto the pillow. Listening to the ticking of the clock on the wall, she mulled over the events of the last few months.

She'd hurt Carla. She'd hurt her so much, pushed her away and spat out words she didn't mean. But she wouldn't hurt her again.

Smiling to herself, she closed her eyes, knowing she'd wake up to the woman she loved.