Archive of Our Own ^beta

Laura Lee had always strayed away from the usual high school romance. She preferred to focus on her schoolwork and soccer instead of trying to get to know some guy from her church.

Despite this, it didn’t mean she wasn’t curious when it came to romantic situations. Even at 17 -or was it 18 now? she truly didn’t know anymore-, she had never experienced her “first kiss” and while it was never a priority, sometimes she did wonder what it would feel like.

Most of the girls her age had already experienced at least one kiss, probably more than that.

Laura Lee could recall a few times when Van would come over to her house on the weekends and just rave about their latest encounter with their girlfriend.

Hearing the way Van spoke about the other girl always brought a smile to Laura Lee’s face, and admittedly a hint of uneasiness.

It was sweet, and she was happy for her friend, but the conversation would always linger in her head.

She knew it was normal for people her age to have experienced those feelings, and she wondered why she was so behind.

She could probably figure out a few reasons why.

For starters, she never really hung out with guys. Her closest male friend was probably Leonard, her stuffed bear.

She knew her religious background certainly played a part in why she’d never kissed a boy yet, though there might’ve been another part that the girl wasn’t quite willing to face yet.

She was well aware that other girls -her team mates, her classmates-, always talked about the guys in the school.

She’d never really paid attention to who they talked about, knowing it was just a silly little thing teenage girls gossiped about.

She’d never found herself staring at a guy before in that way she had seen the other girls do.

It wasn’t like the boys at her school were unattractive, she knew that plenty of them were considered good looking by her classmates.

So she was confused on why she didn’t feel the same way, why she didn’t feel even a little attracted to them.

Then she had seen Tai and Van during doomcoming.

Witnessing that sent a little jolt through her, maybe a bit of shock, and a little curiosity.

It was the first time she’d ever seen girls kiss each other, and it was safe to say she was a bit intrigued by what she’d just seen.

Of course, the group quickly moved on from that and the rest of the night had been a disaster.

It had been months since doomcoming and months since Jackie’s death, months since they ate Jackie’s body.

Laura Lee was shaken by the memory. She hated that Jackie’s last moments were spent being yelled at by her best friend, hated that they had… ate her.

Despite this, the memory of the kiss between Van and Tai was still lingering in her mind.

The events of that night and the following weeks had pushed the image to the very back of her mind, but it was now beginning to resurface.

She would see Van and Tai be more open about their love since that night.

It wasn’t subtle. They’d hold hands, kiss or sometimes just share a small look that clearly meant something more to the other.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel envious of the easy intimacy between them. On more than one occasion Laura Lee tried to imagine herself in a similar scenario.

She tried to picture a boy’s hand holding her hand, or a boy smiling at her in the same way Tai smiled and looked at Van.

Her mind would conjure an image, and she found that it didn’t always feel right.

Whenever her brain would picture a boy touching her, or kissing her, it just didn’t feel right. She couldn’t picture being affectionate with a boy.

It confused her, it truly did. She should’ve felt attraction towards boys, any normal girl her age would’ve.

But no, instead she found herself drawn to thoughts of what it’d be like to kiss someone, but that someone was never a boy.

She thought she must’ve just been confused. It was a weird time in her life.

The plane crash, the plane explosion, Jackie, the winter, and now their, once again, dwindling food supply.

Maybe that’s why she was thinking these thoughts, it made her feel better to assume it was just a consequence of the insanity she had recently endured.

It was stupid of her to think those thoughts. She shouldn’t be having them. It was wrong. She’d done her best to push the thoughts down whenever they came up.

She’d told herself they were just intrusive, nothing more than her brain trying to screw with her.

That’s how she reasoned with the thoughts up until now.

But she knew that maybe it was not just her brain trying to trick her, maybe there were feelings there.

“-ra Lee? Earth to Laura Lee, are you even listening?” Natalie asked waving a hand in front of her face.

Laura Lee was snapped out of her thoughts, jolting a bit.

“Huh? what?” She asked dumbly, looking over at Natalie.

Natalie chuckled quietly, “I’ve been calling you for like a full minute, were you even paying attention?”

Laura Lee flushed pink, embarrassed, “Sorry. I was just..thinking.”

“Anything in particular?” Natalie asked curiously, tilting her head to the side. Laura Lee thought the action was silly.

“Oh. It’s nothing,” Laura Lee quickly said, trying to force the weird thoughts from earlier back further into her mind.

“Oh come on, now I’m curious.” Natalie responded, a small smirk on her face.

She hated that smirk. The girl wore it too well.

“It’s not that interesting.” Laura Lee deflected.

Natalie shrugged, “Maybe not, but I still want to know” Natalie shifted herself closer to her, “Come on. Tell me.”

Laura Lee suppressed a sigh. She already knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of telling the girl, but she wanted to try.

Natalie was relentless, and Laura Lee didn’t have the heart to refuse.

“Promise you won’t make fun of me?” She asked, touching the cross around her neck.

Natalie nodded firmly and placed a hand on her heart, “Promise. I won’t make fun of you. Now c’mon, tell me”

“You can’t laugh, okay?” Laura Lee repeated, looking at the girl in the dark.

Natalie nodded again, “Yeah, yeah I know. Now, are you going to tell me or what?”

Laura Lee huffed and ran a hand through her hair.

“It’s just-“ she was trying to form a sentence but her brain was refusing to cooperate.

Natalie, still waiting, prodded her again. “Just spit it out.”

“Do you remember.. doomcoming?” Laura Lee asked after a few moments of silence.

Natalie nodded slowly, “Yeah, of course I remember..” she spoke in a hushed voice, almost as if afraid to bring up memories of the event.

Laura Lee swallowed before speaking again, “Did you see..Van and Tai?”

“Yeah, that was kind of hard to miss,” Natalie said jokingly, her smirk returning.

Laura Lee fidgeted with the cross around her neck, avoiding eye contact as nerves built in her stomach.

Natalie’s grin fell, “Laura Lee if you’re about to say some homophobic bullshit then-“

Laura Lee’s eyes widened, “No, no-”

She immediately cut Natalie off, waving her hands at the girl.

“I just.. it stuck with me, y’know?” She tried to explain, desperately hoping Natalie wouldn’t just assume she was some homophobic, religious zealot.

Natalie just raised an eyebrow, unsure of where Laura Lee was going.

Laura Lee took Natalie’s silence as her chance to keep talking, trying her best to explain exactly what had been running through her mind.

“It just-“ she tried to find the words, “It looked easy, so easy. And I’ve never…” a flush creeped onto her cheeks, she was struggling to get the words out now.

“I’ve never.. experienced that.”

Natalie gave her a blank expression, “Experienced what?” she asked, still confused by what Laura Lee was trying to say.

“Kissing,“ Laura Lee muttered, barely loud enough for the other girl to hear.

Natalie’s eyes widened, surprised.

“Kissing? As in.. you’ve never kissed anyone before?” She asked incredulously, her shock evident in her voice.

Natalie knew Laura Lee was, well, Laura Lee, but she never thought she was that devoted.

She’d known the girl was a bit sheltered and didn’t get into the usual, teenage experiences, but to have never even kissed anyone?

Natalie was, rightfully, flabbergasted.

“Wait, you’re actually serious? You’ve never kissed a single person?” Natalie asked, disbelieving.

Laura Lee nodded, her cheeks pink and eyes glued to the ground.

“You’re like- Eighteen? Are you sure?” She asked.

“I’m sure,” Laura Lee said in a soft voice.

Natalie studied her face, trying to see if she was just lying or pulling her leg.

“Why not?” Natalie finally asked after a few moments.

Laura Lee sighed, “I’m was just…I’m was waiting for the right person, the right time that God intended for me.”

Natalie wanted to scoff, but instead bit her tongue. She knew religion was very important to Laura Lee.

“But being out here.. I don’t think I have very much time for that chance to come up,” She confessed, worry clear in her tone.

Natalie’s expression turned sympathetic after hearing the girl’s confession.

“Hey, don’t say that. It’ll be alright,” She said in a gentle tone, wanting to comfort the girl.

“We’re going to be rescued soon, and it’ll be okay,” She was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince Laura Lee.

“Natalie. We ate Jackie. We ate a human being after she froze to death,” Laura Lee whispered. “I don’t think it’ll ever be okay.”

Natalie winced, still haunted by the memories herself.

The mere thought of what they did was enough to turn her stomach.

“I know we did, but please, don’t think like that,” She said softly, “We had to. We would’ve died otherwise.”

There was a pause, then Laura Lee responded, her voice just slightly above a whisper.

“I know…I’m not stupid, I understand,” She paused, taking a deep breath to collect herself, “But..what if we never get rescued? What if…what if help never comes?”

“Don’t say that. You can’t think like that,” Natalie told her firmly.

She knew that many of the girls, including herself, had their moments of doubt and worry. But she couldn’t have Laura Lee thinking that way, it’d do her no good.

“I just.. don’t want to die without that experience, but I don’t think I’ll get the chance.” Laura Lee mumbled.

Natalie’s heart sunk.

A small part of her wanted to laugh, to tell the girl that she was being dramatic and of course they’d make it out of this alive.

But that part was overshadowed by understanding.

Natalie sighed and shifted closer, now sitting right beside Laura Lee.

“I mean coach Ben is way to old and Travis is..” She glanced at Natalie. “Taken. I’m assuming, so I don’t think I’ll ever be able to if we don’t make it out of here,”

Natalie opened her mouth to protest, but quickly shut it.

She knew what Laura Lee was saying.

It was true. The chances of them making it out alive were getting slimmer and slimmer as the time out there continued to drag on.

Natalie sighed and took a deep breath, “I think..there’s another option.”

“I’m not kissing Javi.” She stated sternly.

Natalie chuckled, “Yeah, definitely not. That would be weird.”

She paused, contemplating on how exactly to phrase what she wanted to say next.

“I’m saying there’s.. other options when it comes to getting kissed, if you wanted” Natalie said, her eyes on the girl’s face, watching her reaction.

Laura Lee’s eyes widened, then her expression was quickly one of surprise and disbelief.

“What?-“ she sputtered out, dumbfounded by what the girl was suggesting.

Natalie could see the gears still turning in Laura Lee’s head, trying to catch on to what exactly Natalie was saying.

“I’m not- I’m not gay,” She denied, shaking her head. “That’s a sin.”

Natalie scoffed, “Never said you were. Kissing a girl doesn’t automatically make you gay, you know.” She explained.

“I’m just saying,” Natalie continued, “That if you really want the experience, then there’s other ways to do it”

Natalie studied the girl’s face once again, her expression now one of both curiosity and hesitation.

Laura Lee’s mind was conflicted. She was having a constant war with herself. A part of her was telling her that this was wrong, that kissing a girl was a sin.

But then, a different part of herself was telling her that it’d be okay, that it wouldn’t be a sin if it was just for the experience, right?

She took a moment, trying to sort out her thoughts.

Natalie patiently waited, noticing by the way the girl was gnawing into her bottom lip that Laura Lee was deep in thought.

It took a few minutes, but Laura Lee finally spoke.

“It wouldn’t be wrong? If it’s just for the..experience?” She asked Natalie, her voice soft and insecure

“You wouldn’t be going straight to Hell because of it,” Natalie replied, “Besides, it wouldn’t mean anything, would it? It would literally just be you getting to experience what a kiss feels like.”

“Right..just to experience what I’ve missed out on,” Laura Lee responded, nodding to herself as if to reassure her reasoning. “It won’t mean anything.”

“Exactly, it’s just a one time thing,” Natalie agreed, “I mean, what’s the harm in that?”

“And you would be willing to? To kiss me, I mean. What about Travis?” Laura Lee asked quietly.

“Travis doesn’t have to hear about this,” Natalie quickly responded, “It wouldn’t hurt him. Besides, again, it’s not like this would be something we repeat. It’s just a one time, strictly-platonic…” she paused, “I don’t know, experiment? Yeah, you could say that.”

“An experiment, just to see what it’s like,” Laura Lee repeated.

Natalie nodded, confirming what the girl had said.

Laura Lee swallowed, her heart now pounding in her chest. She was really contemplating going through with this.

“So..do you want to do it?” Natalie asked, keeping eye contact with the girl.

Laura Lee’s eyes darted from Natalie’s own gaze to the girl’s mouth, then back up again.

Natalie reached out, placing a hand tentatively on Laura Lee’s arm.

“Do you want to do this?” She repeated, her voice low.

Laura Lee gave a short nod, her mouth suddenly feeling dry.

“Okay..” Natalie mumbled before hesitantly shifting closer. She moved herself, getting on top of the girl’s lap.

One of her knees now rested on either side of Laura Lee’s legs, effectively caging the girl’s body against the cabin wall.

Laura Lee’s hands hesitantly found the girl’s waist, feeling the cloth underneath her fingers. She could already tell that her face was flushed pink, a fact that only made her more embarrassed.

Laura Lee never really expected her first kiss to go this way, surrounded by most of her sleeping teammates. She wasn’t sure how exactly she expected it to go, but probably not with a girl.

She didn’t mind it as much as she thought she would.

Natalie’s face was now only a few inches away from Laura Lee’s.

She watched as Laura Lee’s eyes dipped down to her mouth for the umpteenth time.

Natalie found herself smiling at the expression the other girl was making.

“You can close your eyes if you want,” Natalie whispered.

“Oh..yeah, right,” Laura Lee replied.

She slowly closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of Natalie’s weight on her lap, and the feeling of Natalie’s breath fanning over her face.

Natalie couldn’t help but keep a smirk on her face. It’s not like she was mocking Laura Lee or anything, she just found the entire situation to be a bit amusing.

“Try not to think too much,” Natalie mumbled, noticing the way Laura Lee’s face was scrunched up with nervousness.

“I’ll try not to,” Laura Lee said breathlessly.

Natalie’s smirk only grew at the hint of eagerness mixed with nerves in the girl’s voice.

Natalie’s hand moved from Laura Lee’s arm and placed itself on the small of her neck, her thumb rubbing in small circles just under her ear.

Laura Lee’s skin felt like it was buzzing wherever Natalie touched.

She was having a battle with herself, trying her best not to overthink the situation.

Natalie leaned closer, tilting the girl’s head back, “You’re doing fine,” she murmured, her voice low.

Laura Lee’s hands now held a firm grip onto Natalie’s waist, her fingers digging into the girl’s skin through her shirt.

Natalie moved her face closer, finally closing the gap between them.

She felt the girl beneath her jolt just as their lips touched.

Laura Lee’s breath hitched in her throat, caught off guard by the kiss. Natalie’s lips were a lot softer than she had expected.

The kiss was gentle at first, Natalie slowly moving her lips against the other girl’s. Laura Lee slowly relaxed, her shoulders losing the tension that had filled them.

Natalie tilted her head, pressing a bit more forcefully against the other girl’s mouth. Her free hand came up and gently cupped the side of Laura Lee’s face.

Laura Lee’s thoughts had completely gone blank.

Natalie’s lips were smooth, and the girl’s body felt so soft where their skin met and-

Natalie nipped lightly at the girl’s bottom lip, effectively snapping Laura Lee from her thoughts.

One of Laura Lee’s hands moved from Natalie’s waist, and tangled itself in the girl’s hair.

Natalie let out a soft hum of surprise, but didn’t pull away.

Both girls were now moving their lips in tandem, the initial hesitation quickly becoming nonexistent.

Natalie’s tongue swiped gently over Laura Lee’s lower lip, teasing at the slit of her mouth.

Laura Lee pulled away, letting out heated pants, her face clearly flushed a deep red. She stared up at the girl in her lap, feeling as though her heart would beat out of her chest.

Natalie chuckled quietly, watching the girl’s reaction.

“I take it that was a good first kiss, then?” She asked with a smile.

“I can not believe I waited this long to kiss someone,” Laura Lee whispered breathlessly.

Natalie shifted her weight, readjusting herself on the girl’s lap.

“I’m guessing that means it was at least worth the wait?” Natalie teased, her hand still holding Laura Lee’s face.

“I like kissing you,” Laura Lee hummed, looking up at the girl, a wide smile on her face.

“Well, I like kissing you too, even if you kinda suck at it” Natalie responded honestly.

She found herself returning the girl’s smile, a new and unfamiliar feeling building in her chest.

Natalie felt that warm feeling spread across her whole body and it strangely made her feel good.

Laura Lee scoffed, “Hey! I’ve never kissed anyone before, you can’t blame me for being a little bad at it.”

Natalie shook her head, still smiling, “I’m not blaming you. It’s not like I expected you’d automatically know what to do.”

“I think we should go to bed. Can you do me a favour?” Laura Lee asked, her voice suddenly sounding small.

“Hm? Yeah what’s up?” Natalie asked.

She shifted herself off of the girl’s lap, and instead repositioned herself so that she was sitting on the floor in front of her.

“Just don’t- Don’t tell anyone. Please?” Laura Lee pleaded, looking down at the wood floor beneath them.

“I won’t, pinky promise,” Natalie responded immediately, holding out her pinkie.

Laura Lee looked at the girls hand, the gesture meaning a lot to her no matter how silly it was.

“Thank you,” She mumbled, interlocking their pinkies.

“Of course, no problem” Natalie reassured, her voice soft.

Natalie studied the girl’s face, looking for any signs of lingering doubt in her expression.

“Did you learn anything from that?” Natalie asked, her tone teasing. Natalie suppressed a laugh, she grinned.

“Your lips are really warm,” Laura Lee said absentmindedly.

“And? That’s it? You’re not gonna compliment my technique or anything?” She responded with a mock gasp.

Laura Lee shrugged, “I don’t have anything to compare it too,”

“Well- Well yeah, I guess you wouldn’t,” Natalie agreed, “Still, come on. I think I deserve something, don’t I?”

“I mean, I taught you how to kiss, that should earn me some type of reward, don’t you think?” Natalie asked bluntly.

Laura Lee tilted her head, thinking over the girl’s words.

“I mean I don’t really think that was teaching, it was only one and it was just for the sake of having my first kiss,” Laura Lee hummed.

“Yeah, yeah, I know that,” Natalie said, waving a hand, “but, I did take time out of my night to help you out. Don’t I deserve something in return? Come on, think of something.”

Laura Lee stared at her for a good moment, trying to think of something, anything to say to the girl.

“Well your breath smelt better then I thought it would,”

“Thank you,” Natalie deadpanned, “That’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten.”

Natalie tried to maintain the annoyed expression on her face, but it was obvious that Laura Lee’s blunt reply made her want to laugh.

“Really, I’m honored.”

Laura Lee rolled her eyes, “Can we get to bed now? It’s late, everyone’s asleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright fine, kill my fun,” Natalie grumbled, “Let’s go to bed.”

Natalie stood up and wiped her hands on her shorts, “You coming?”

Laura Lee nodded and stood up, quickly following behind the girl.

Natalie led her over to their makeshift beds on the ground, careful not to step on any of the girls sleeping.

As they walked, Laura Lee felt herself growing slightly tired, the events from earlier finally catching up to her.

Laura Lee sat down on one of the beds, a yawn forcing its way past her lips.

Natalie sat down on her own bed, which was only a few feet away from Laura Lee’s.

Laura Lee lied down, grabbing Leonard and pulling him close.

Natalie lied down on her side, glancing at the girl lying across from her through the dim lighting of the room.

She could barely make out the shape of Laura Lee’s face, the girl’s hair falling into her face.

The sound of her teammates sleeping filled the room, soft snoring coming from a few of them.

“Hey,” Natalie whispered, her voice cutting through the otherwise quiet room.

Laura Lee opened her eyes, “Yeah?” she responded, matching the girl’s hushed voice.

“Are you tired?” Natalie asked. She knew the question was stupid, seeing as it was well into the night.

Laura Lee let out a huff of a laugh, “Of course I’m tired, it’s the middle of the night, Nat.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Natalie agreed, “Dumb question.” She was quiet for a moment before speaking again, “It’s kind of cold,”

“Yeah, it is,” Laura Lee responded, holding Leonard even closer for comfort.

Natalie stared across the room, debating to herself on if she should speak her mind or not.

Eventually, the thought won out.

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

Laura Lee’s eyes shot open, clearly surprised by the girl’s blunt statement.

Natalie quickly realized why Laura Lee reacted the way she did.

“No!-No not…not like that,” She hurriedly whispered, “Literally just share a bed for warmth.”

“Oh-“ Laura Lee mumbled.

It took her a few moments for her to recover from the surprise of the words, her brain working slower because of the fatigue.

Natalie took her silence as an opportunity to continue.

“I mean- if you wanted to, of course. It’d just be for the warmth, nothing else,” she explained.

“Yeah…That makes more sense,” Laura Lee agreed.

It wasn’t like she wanted to admit it, but the thought of having someone to possibly share body heat with sounded very tempting.

“So, is that a yes?” Natalie asked.

Laura Lee let out a breath, before nodding, “Yeah, alright.”

Natalie felt as if a bit of a weight was lifted off of her shoulders.
She got up, grabbed her blanket and walked to Laura Lee’s ‘bed’, “Scooch over,”

Laura Lee did as told, shifting her body to the side and letting Natalie take up the space next to her.

Natalie lied down before pulling the blanket over them, her back pressed up against Laura Lee’s front.

Laura Lee froze for a few moments, feeling the girl’s body against her own.

Natalie hummed, moving her body around until she got comfortable, “See, isn’t this better?” she mumbled.

Once she got comfortable, Laura Lee hesitantly wrapped an arm around the girl’s waist, pulling her even closer against her body.

Natalie’s breath hitched slightly, clearly not expecting the girl’s action.

Natalie relaxed, her eyes closing, “Yeah, it is…” Laura Lee whispered.

There was something that was always very soothing about having a body pressed up against hers.

Laura Lee couldn’t explain why exactly, but the feeling of Natalie’s back and the sound of her breathing had her relaxing in a way she never felt before.

Natalie’s body heat filled the tiny gap between them, and Laura Lee found herself growing sleepier by the second.

There was a few moments of silence after that.

Then the air of the cabin was filled with two more people’s soft breathing.

—

It was hours later Natalie woke up, she had always been a pretty light sleeper but the girls in the cabin definitely were not trying to be quiet.

It didn’t take long for Natalie to realize just how close Laura Lee was to her. It wasn’t just their legs touching, but their whole bodies were pressed together.

Natalie could feel Laura Lee’s arm slung over her waist and her hand that was gripping a loose part of her shirt. Not to mention the hot breath that was being faned against her neck.

Natalie felt strangely content with their current positions.

With the way Laura Lee’s body was against her, and her arm wrapped around Natalie’s frame, made her feel somewhat safe.

Natalie knew it was probably because of the girl’s larger size and the protection it most likely offered.

Natalie’s eyes fluttered closed once again and she slowly let herself doze back off to sleep.

She was awoken again just moments later by incessant laughter.

Natalie sat up, feeling annoyed at the way she was unable to sleep for long.

Laura Lee’s arm fell into her lap once she moved, she made no attempt to move the girls arm off her.

She looked over to where the source of the noise was coming from, wanting to see what was so entertaining at the ungodly hour.

Natalie’s eyes zeroed in on the girls standing in the middle of the room, laughing and giggling about something.

After a few moments of watching, Natalie managed to pick up that they were all talking about the two girls still in bed- her and Laura Lee.

The girls had obviously noticed Natalie sitting up, their eyes flicking over to her briefly before going right back to the girl still asleep behind her.

Natalie could see the smirks and raised eyebrows on the girls faces, and she knew exactly what thought was running through their heads.

Natalie didn’t like the way the girls were obviously talking about them so openly.

Natalie was about to say something to the girls to shut them up, but then Laura Lee shifted beside her and all of the attention was on the girl just waking up.

“Morning sleepyhead,” one of the girls piped up, her tone just a bit too cheery.

Laura Lee’s eyes slowly fluttered open, still a bit dazed from interrupted sleep.

Natalie watched as the girl rubbed her face, her brows furrowing at the sudden sound of voices.

“Sleep well?” Another girl Robin -Natalie assumed-, asked.

Laura Lee sat up, tilting her head, “Uh…yeah. I did-” she murmured, her voice raspy from sleep.

Natalie could see the hint of red on her cheeks, the girl clearly embarrassed form the attention she was receiving.

“Aw, she’s blushing. How cute.”

Natalie’s eyes shot over to the girl who spoke, the fake sweetness and teasing in her tone doing nothing but making Natalie’s irritation grow.

“Is there something you need?” Natalie suddenly blurted, her patience wearing thin.

The girls stopped talking, turning their attention to the annoyed girl sitting on the bed.

Mari’s eyebrow rose in amusement. “Ooh, she’s grouchy.”

“You’re real observant,” Natalie responded dryly, her eyes narrowing at the girl.

Mari gave Natalie a wide, mocking smile, “Thanks.”

Natalie rolled her eyes but didn’t respond, she wasn’t in the mood to give the girls any more attention then she already had.

Mari’s eyes flicked over to Laura Lee, a smirk taking over her face.

“Did you have fun snuggling with your girlfriend last night?” she cooed.

Natalie saw the girl stiffen, her face growing redder at Mari’s words.

“She’s not my girlfriend, I’m not gay” Laura Lee mumbled under her breath, avoiding eye contact with the girls in front of her.

Mari’s smirk grew, her and the rest of the girls clearly enjoying the girl’s embarrassed reaction.

“Yeah, sure you aren’t,” she responded sarcastically.

“Do everyone a favour and shut up before I rip you a new one Mari,” Taissa quipped from over by the fireplace.

Mari rolled her eyes, “Oh, I’m just having a little fun, Taissa. Don’t be like that. It’s not like there’s anything else entertaining here.”

Taissa didn’t look amused, her face hard and her eyes boring into the other girl.

Mari’s expression went from the previous one of amusement to slight annoyance at the girls glare.

She scoffed but quickly shut her mouth, clearly not wanting to get into an argument with girl.

Taissa held eye contact for a few more moments before turning away, mumbling an unintelligible word as she did so.

Natalie couldn’t help but feel a little bit of relief, glad that Taissa’s presence was at least enough to get the girls to shut up.

Laura Lee got up, fixing her clothing after getting out from under the blanket, wanting to be anywhere but beside Natalie at the moment.

Natalie watched as Laura Lee got up, an odd sense of disappointment filling her briefly.

She knew that girl was humiliated at the way it seemed like the girls were making fun of them, and if Natalie was being honest, the way the girl fled made her stomach twist uncomfortably.

Laura Lee kept her head down, avoiding eye contact as she climbed up the ladder to the attic.

Natalie could vaguely hear the girls in the background giggling about the girl’s departure but she didn’t pay any attention to them.

She lied back down, pulling the blanket over her head to attempt to drown out the sounds around her.

—

Laura Lee let out a breath once she made it into the attic, she was relieved to be away from everyone.

Once in the attic, she leaned her back against the wall, sliding down it until she was sitting on the cold ground.

The sound of the wind and occasional bird chirps filled the area now, almost completely blocking out the noise of the other girls down below.

She heard steps coming up the ladder and all she could do was pray it wasn’t Mari or anyone actually, she prayed she was just going insane and hearing things.

Of course, that wasn’t the case as ten seconds later she could see a head of red hair that she immediately recognized as Van.

Her shoulders dropped in relief, “It’s just you.” Laura Lee murmured, glad it wasn’t any of the other girls that she’d rather avoid at the moment.

“You disappointed?” Van asked, a small smile on their face as they approached the girl.

“No, no, I’m glad it’s you,” Laura Lee reassured, “If it was literally anyone else I think I would’ve jumped out the window.”

Van let out a soft laugh at the girls comment, taking a seat next to her. “I can tell, you looked like you were about ready to crawl out of your skin back there.”

“I wasn’t doubting your intentions,” Van reassured, their shoulder bumped up against the girls as they spoke, “Besides, even if it was for something else, so what? Mari was being a dick.”

“But you know me and Taissa are gay right?” Van asked.

“I’m not blind,” Laura Lee responded, “And I have ears that work.”

Van let out a soft snort at her response, “Oh wow, I’m wounded.”

They sat in silence for a few moments after that until Van spoke up.

“Y’know if you were gay, which I’m not saying you are, that would be okay.” They said looking over at the girl for a reaction.

Laura Lee’s heart skipped at the words, her body tensing ever so slightly.

There was the part of her whispering, demanding that she deny the thought.

But she was surprised by the other part of herself that wanted to just give in to the idea.

Laura Lee opened her mouth, words getting caught in her throat as conflicting thoughts battled in her head.

She wanted to say yes, to give in to the side of her that was screaming at her to accept it.

But she also wanted to say no, to deny the entire thing and to shove as far down inside of herself as she possibly could.

Laura Lee closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to try and calm her heart that had picked up pace.

She slowly unclenched her hand from the death grip she had on her necklace, letting it fall into her lap.

“I-…” she trailed off, her voice coming out barely above a whisper.

Laura Lee wanted to speak, to get the words out, to deny or agree with what Van said, but every time she went to say something her words died in her throat.

The feeling of the cross around her neck burned her skin, the cold metal reminding her what was expected of her, what she’s been taught.

Tears welled up in her eyes, her emotions overwhelming her in the moment.

“I.. I’m not-“ She started, a small, quiet sob escaping her in the middle of her sentence.

Van felt their heart squeeze in their chest at the girls emotional response, reaching over and gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.” They reassured softly, “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to explain yourself if you’re not ready.”

Laura Lee let out a shaky breath, her body trembling under Van’s touch.

She leaned into Van’s presence, a sense of comfort settling over her at their words.

“I..just don’t know…” she whispered, tears now streaming down her face.

Van gently pulled the girl into a hug, their arms wrapping around her shoulders. They held her tightly, hoping to provide any sort of comfort they could.

“It’s alright. Really.” Van reassured, their voice soft and calm against her ear. “You don’t have to have it all figured out. Especially not right now.”

Laura Lee buried her face into Van’s shoulder, her tears now soaking their shirt.

She clung to them like they were her lifeline in a storm, the comfort of their embrace slowly calming her.

Van rubbed small, comforting circles on the girls back as they held her, continuing to murmur soft reassurances in her ear.

Laura Lee let out a shaky breath, the pressure in her chest slowly beginning to ease.

Van sat there with Laura Lee for a while, just holding her until her tears stopped and her trembling had calmed.

“You okay?” They asked gently, running their fingers lightly over the girl’s hair.

Laura Lee nodded slightly after a moments hesitation, her face still buried against Van’s shoulder.

She felt a bit embarrassed at her emotional outburst but the way Van was holding her was enough to keep her from pulling away.

Laura Lee finally lifted her head, pulling back just enough to look at Van.

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying still but she looked a bit less panicked then before, “I…I’m sorry for crying.”

Van raised a hand to cup the girls face, using their thumb to gently wipe away the remnants of tears that lingered.

“There’s no need to apologize.” They reassured, their eyes soft and comforting. “Do you know how many times I came crying to you?” They asked with a soft chuckle.

A small laugh escaped Laura Lee, the sound coming out wet from her crying earlier. She shook her head at Van’s words, “A lot.” she murmured.

Van nodded with a small smile, “Exactly, and every single time you’ve always been kind about it. So, this time it’s my turn to be the shoulder to cry on.”

Laura Lee felt a sudden rush of affection towards her friend, her heart clenching in her chest.

She leaned forward until her forehead was touching Van’s, their faces close together.

“Thank you,” she murmured softly, her voice full of gratitude.

“Of course,” Van responded easily, pulling away to press a kiss to Laura Lee’s forehead. “You know you can come to me with anything, right? I’ll always listen.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of Laura Lee’s mouth, the gentle gesture was common between the two and Laura Lee adored it.

She nodded at Van’s words, her body feeling lighter at the reassurance.

“I know,” she responded quietly, “I don’t know how you put up with me.”

Van let out a light scoff at that, “What do you mean? Putting up with you is probably the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

Laura Lee rolled her eyes at their words, lightly swatting at their shoulder.

“Shut up,” she mumbled, a hint of a smile on her face.

Laura Lee yawned, she was still tired from being woken up so suddenly, the burst of emotions of the past few minutes did nothing to help.

Van noticed the girls tiredness, their face twisting into a bit of a worried look.

“You sleepy?” They asked, “You know, you could probably go back to sleep for a few minutes, I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

Laura Lee thought about Van’s words for a moment, the idea of getting more sleep was very appealing but she didn’t want to be a burden.

“Are you sure?” She asked, her tired eyes looking at Van with slight hesitation.

Van nodded, their smile reassuring. “Of course, I’m sure. Go ahead and get some sleep. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

Laura Lee let out a small huff of breath, reluctantly giving in to their encouragement.

Laura Lee leaned into Van, pushing them both into a more comfortable position for them to rest in.

Once they were both settled, Van wrapped their arms around the girl, pulling her closer against them.

Laura Lee let out a soft sigh, her body relaxing into the embrace.

They did this often when they were younger but had stopped shortly after Van met Taissa.

After a long conversation with Taissa they started up the ritual once again, it had always strictly been platonic, even the forehead kisses.

Van ran their fingers gently through the girls hair as they held her, the motion was like clockwork to them.

They knew Laura Lee found comfort in the action, she always had.

A comfortable silence settled over the two, the only sound was the occasional noise of nature outside and Laura Lee’s soft breathing.

Van couldn’t help but stare at the girl in front of them, she looked so calm and peaceful, so much like when they were younger.

So much like before the crash and the explosion, and everything else that had happened out here.

Van’s mind couldn’t help but drift, thinking about everything that had happened. Every messed up thing that they’ve done since they ended up in this god forsaken wilderness.

The thoughts left an uneasy feeling sitting heavily in their stomach, Van tightened their arms around Laura Lee subconsciously.

Van felt themselves growing tense at the thoughts, suddenly the girl in their arms felt too small, too fragile.

As if any moment she could slip through their fingers, the thought sent chills up their spine. They weren’t sure what they would do without Laura Lee, especially out here.

They held the girl closer, wrapping their arms around her as if by some miracle it would keep her safe.

Van knew however that no matter how hard they tried, they could never keep her truly safe in the wilderness.

Van wouldn’t know what to do without Taissa either. The thought of losing either their closest friend or their girlfriend was a horrible thought.

Van’s heart clenched in their chest at the thought of losing either of the girls. They knew how dangerous this situation was, they knew they weren’t safe.

They held onto Laura Lee tighter at the thought, hoping, praying they would somehow all get through this.