Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Headcanon time b4 we begin:

-Stan Listens to Green Day on a daily basis and sometimes, bowling for soup.

-N, V, J and Cyn are all siblings and are RICH as in, richest in the school!

-Kenny’s family is the poorest

-Uzi is mixed between Pakistani (on her dads side) and Japanese (on her moms side).

-Wendy's fave restaurant is Wendy's.

-Steve's voice is SOOO angelic, people say it's like being in a choir.

-Stans aesthetic mainly involves dark clothes and accessories, but not dark enough to count as “goth” or “emo”.

-Scene KYLE (if you know, you know.)

-Cartman has a part time job at the KFC (was forced to have a job by his mom)

-N's full name is Ennard (FNAF reference lol) V is Victoria, J is Jenny and Cyn is Cynessa (ha ha silly) and they all have the name “Elliot”, Tessa is the oldest out of them all but lives in Australia.

-N, V, Cyn and J are adopted.

-Snot and Kyle are best friends.

- V wears contacts (wants LASIK when she gets older)

[Now On2 the Series]

● ● ● ■

Stan woke up to the sound of his parents arguing, they weren't shouting, in fact the opposite. He ignored the sound by putting on his headphones and listening to the same old songs from his Spotify playlist.

“Watch It Turd!”

Stan accidentally bumped into Shelley, he apologised and walked away from her as he got into the kitchen, got a bowl of Captain Crunch and a bottle of milk out, while still listening to music.

And that was when his parents both called him and Shelley over, he didn't know why they called them both as they don't recall doing anything bad or problematic really but he hoped it wasn't the case.

and It wasn't the case thank God.

Randy: Kids…we come to make an announcement, this is really important…we…we…

Shelley: What? What's going on?

Sharon: What Randy is trying to say is that: we are getting a divorce.

Stan's jaw dropped, he wasn't expecting this day to come but it had, he asked why and Sharon stated that it was because they both were fed up with each other, especially Randy's weed antics. Even exclaiming that Shelley almost died in the barn a few weeks ago because she didn't do her “weed chores” although the barn was on fire, thankfully, Shelley made it out with no burns. But Sharon was still concerned with the safety on the farm.

Randy: yeah…We both decided to go our separate ways, you three all have weed problems!

Sharon: That's not what a weed problem is Randy.

Randy: YES IT IS!

Randy took a deep breath and mumbled to himself.

Sharon: Kids, go to your rooms while I sort this out with your father okay?

Shelley and Stan nodded as they both went to their respective rooms. Stan knew Sharon didn't like the farm (neither did him nor Shelley) but he wasn't expecting a divorce to happen.

Chapter Text

The divorce took weeks to happen, there was a lot of filling out papers and shit, as well as deciding who would take the kids. But in the end, Sharon Decided to take both Stan and Shelley, as they both obviously hated the farm as well and was in more danger from the last few months.

However, that did mean that Sharon, Stan and Shelley had to move places so they ultimately chose a house that was almost similar to their old house, obviously it wasn't their old house but it was located a few blocks from it. It also meant that they both had to move school as well from a posh religious private school to a less religious and posh public school. One thing Stan didn't like either was his school so he was aware that he wouldn't miss it that much, he wasn't really bullied or anything, it's just that because Sharon payed for his school fees and that they’d no longer afford that sort of education as they'd no longer be involved with Tegridy Farms.

He spent a day looking at the school and enjoyed it so far, he knew some of his friends from elementary and middle also went there so…yeah…

However, he didn't get to move to his new school until a month later:

And so…it was the last ever day from his old school, his old school was posh, it was like Harow School, but in America. Not to mention that half of the students at his school were British-Exchange students so they would always toss out words such as “Fit”, “Tosser”, “Bent” and “Innit”, words that no one in America would be caught dead saying.

You might have thought Stan also had friends going to that private school right?...Right? Well, he didn’t…No one went to his school and he had no friends, but maybe because he was seen as “shitty” by everyone.

Stan walked to his locker and got a few things out, he also got rid of some stickers as he was moving school after all, and that was when a random student came in.

“Stanny Boy!”

Stan groaned when he saw that boy, he was one of them exchange students from the UK, and he was annoying….And he was weird for Stan’s taste.

Stan groaned as he got the last few stickers out of his locker, “What?” he responded with a sigh.

“Mate, I just wanna say how cool it is that you’re going to public school! But, I heard everyone there are wankers!”

“What’s a wanker?” Stan added.

“You wouldn’t know…” The boy mumbled: “Fucking bent piece of shit”.

Stan didn’t respond, he just wanted to go home and get it sorted with. But thank god that after school meant that he was moving house for real this time.

● ● ● ■

Shelley was walking to class and one of her friends came up to her, she gave her a sniff and didn’t at all like the smell.

“Ew? Is that weed?” the girl said in a sassy manner, “It Stinks!”

Shelley admitted that it was and that it wasn’t because she smoked weed, it was because she worked on a weed farm. Weed was legal where she lived (and still is) but it wasn’t a good idea to smoke it or smell like it in school.

“SHELLEY SMOKES WEED!”

Once she said that, Shelley grit her teeth and put her hand over the girl’s mouth, “Quiet turd, you’ll get me in trouble!” exclaimed Shelley!

However, when Shelley told the principal everything, he didn’t buy it one bit, and she was suspended, she didn’t give two shits anyway as it was her last day after all. But when Shelley told Sharon, Sharon understood Shelley and that misconception that she smokes weed.

Once the school day was over, The Marshes went to their new house, glad that they were away from Randy and the farm, and the weed…

They all helped each other putting things into their new house and Stan couldn’t believe it, millions of questions popped into his mind but one stayed as interesting as the others. “Is this a dream?”

To answer that, it wasn’t…It was just the first thing Stan wanted to happen ever since he moved to that shitty farm, and that dream came true!

Once he was done putting things in place, Stan got out his phone and went to his messages app and waited until he saw “Kyle”, he tapped his name and pressed the call button.

“Hello?”

“Kyle! Kyle! OMG!”

“What? What’s going on?”

“My Parent’s got a divorce, and I’m so FUCKING HAPPY! NO MORE WEED!”

“Huh? Oh yeah…Weed…I remember…”

“And that’s not all, I’m coming to Clover High on monday! No more posh assholes bitching me about, none of that! I can’t wait to see you guys!”

Kyle got excited, he couldn’t believe that Stan was coming to his high school, Clover High!

Chapter Text

Today was the day…

The first day of school (again), Stan was just getting his stuff ready, Pencil case? Check! Bottled water? Check! Anything you’d usually take to school? Check Checkity Check check! Before he went out the door, he heard his mom say the usual things such as “have a nice day” and stuff but before she could say anything else, Stan bolted out the door, and walked to the bus stop.

“Uh..also Stanley, I’m going to drive you today!” Said Sharon, Stan’s jaw dropped, he tried to say something against that but Sharon thought that it was for the best. Stan literally facepalmed his mom once they got into the car.

“Shelley can take the bus but not me?” Stan thought to himself as he saw the beautiful scenery around him, it felt “nostalgic” to him. Like memories that were lost to time…

● ● ● ■ ● ● ●

Cartman did NOT want to get up, he HATED school and everyone in it. He only went so he could rip on people but also because it was THE law, his mom had to nag him out but he wouldn’t budge, coming up with every excuse in the book such as being sick. But she would NOT buy it.

“MEEEEMMM!! I DON’T WANNA GO SKEEEWWWLL!” He shouted and shouted from hours on end, but nothing would work as he was bolted out the door.

“Don’t forget your lunch sweetie!” Lianne said sweetly despite being stern before.

“MEEM- all the students will think I’m poor-”

Lianne slammed the door before he could finish his sentence.

“Meem??”

He sighed, and just headed to the bus stop to see his friends: Kyle and Kenny.

“I hate packed lunches” Eric mumbled to himself, “now they’ll think I’m poor and not Kenny!”

“What?” Kyle said as he heard Eric mumble.

“Oooh, you eavesdropping on me you fucking…fucking…Jew??”

Kyle then sneakily replied with: “Well at least you can afford new clothes for high school!”

“Very funny…” said Cartman.

They all got on once the bus arrived.

● ● ● ■ ● ● ●

“Bye Stanley!” Sharon said in excitement, Stan bid her farewell back and looked at his new high school, it looked like the ones straight out of the disney channel, and everyone there looked like disney channel stars too! He bet some of them were extras on Hannah Montanna or Lab Rats. He soon put on his headphones and played an old Bowling for Soup album on it.

He saw girls taking selfies, boys chatting, it all felt unnatural and more like a film he was now part of. But he didn’t mind one bit…

He took off his headphones for a bit and sorted out his locker-

“STAN?”

Stan froze until he realised it was his old friends, Eric, Kyle and Kenny!

“God you startled me for a bit!”

“Oh..sorry..” Kyle said, “Anyways, remember us?”

Stan froze and responded with a simple yes.

“OOH, Stanny is Shocked!!” Cartman said in a childish high-pitched manner, “He’s Embarrased!”

Stan just stared at Cartman as Kyle tried to talk to him about Clover High. He tried to listen but going back to public school seemed like a mess to Stan.

“Why do some of the lockers have graffiti on? I thought I only saw that in the movies!” Stan said sternly while pointing out the lockers.

“Oh…Uh…Public Schools do have those, not everywhere but there’s alot of nasty kids who think it’s funny to you know-” Kyle said in a way he only knew how, “Why…don’t we get to class?”
“Sure…” Said Stan.

Kyle walked to class with Stan as they both had the same class together this period.

*RING!*

Once everyone (save for Stan) got into their seats, a teacher appeared. She looked no younger or older than 50, wore glasses and a flowery dress with curly blonde hair.

“Okay class, let’s settle down now, we got a new student here and he’s here to tell us a lil’ bit about himself.”

Stan was a little nervous but he quickly put those thoughts aside. “Hi..I’m Stan Marsh, a few of you might’ve recognised me from South Park Elementary and I like punk rock and pop rock music…I also have a mom, dad and sister and-”

Stan went silent, he was just standing there as if he saw a ghost, he was no stranger doing these kinds of things but since it was a public high school, it was like the world froze around him.

“HURRY UP BOZO!” A random student yelled.

“FUCK YOU!” Stan said while giving the finger, which surprisingly was left unnoticed by the teacher.

“Stanley Marsh, my name is Mrs. Angelo and I're your English teacher, you’re sitting next to this lovely girl right next to you…”

Stan looked at Mrs. Angelo’s direction and saw a girl wearing a hoodie with a white battery and crossbone, a bobble hat with a few hair clips in her hair with pink and purple-striped socks with some knee-high shoes to go with her outfit.

“Who the shit are you?” She said,

“Stan…Stan Marsh, you?” replied Stan.

“Uzi…Bite me..”
“Bite Me??” Stan looked at Uzi in confusion.

“It’s a saying…idiot…”

Stan looked at Uzi and felt bad for her, she felt withdrawn, like she was masking something he didn’t know…

“Hey…what’s wrong?” Stan said softly.

“You wouldn’t know..” Uzi said as she stared at the board.

Chapter Text

Meanwhile, in the other class, Cartman was barely paying attention at all! He didn't like the fact that he wasn't able to pick on anyone for weeks, his trademark sassy and evil persona now sunken in the back of his mind.

…or was it?

He knew damn well that if he picked on anyone, he'd be sent straight to detention, or worse…Did he mind? No he didn't!

His eyes looked in every direction possible, trying to find someone to mock, and that's when he saw his target…

He got out a piece of paper, and wrote something: “Kick me harder” he snickered as he finished writing, His main target was none other than Uzi Doorman aka the girl who had already been through enough.

She was used to being bullied, she didn't even give two shits, Lizzy picked on her anyway and she just saved her venting for when she was home alone. She was ALWAYS a perfect target for this kind of stuff.

Once he was finished sticking something on her back, Uzi felt a weird sensation, but she ignored it as she assumed she was feeling things.

“Uzi?” Stan asked as she started to feel a bit itchy.

“It's nothing bozo,” Uzi snapped, “I'll get used to it.”

At class, she was kicked harder, Eric's plan worked as everyone started to bully her, he could even hear her scream and shout in front of everyone. His plan worked, and he was proud of it…

“Fuck yeah…” he whispered.

He then got out another piece of paper and crossed out her name, wondering who else to bully. He had a list of names of everyone who already shared a few classes with him like Wendy, Butters and Tolkien but one stood in the way from all of them.

Ennard Elliot, rumoured to have feelings for Uzi since seventh grade and actually shared two classes with her, Science and Math. Eric thought he was a perfect target so he waited and waited until the bell rang for the second period and when It was the right time, boy did Cartman get excited!

When it was lesson time, Eric whispered something in N's ear.

“N, hey…pssst!”

“uh…Yeah??” N whispered back.

“Why would you wanna have feelings for a loser? Why not date Heidi or even Wendy testicleburger? Wendy's alot like Uzi y'know”

N became shocked, “Why would I have feelings for these two? They're not even my type! I like Uzi because I know she needs someone and-”

And that was when Cartman Shouted something embarrassing…

“N IS IN LOVE WITH AN EMO! N IS IN LOVE WITH AN EMO!” Eric said in a singsong tune as he jumped up and down on his chair.

“N IS IN LOVE! HE LOVES A NO LIFE EMO! THEY WANNA KISS…THEY WANNA KISS..GUYS BRING IN THE DRUMS!”

“Knock it off!” N snapped as he gritted his teeth. Everyone started staring at N.

“N's got feelings for an EMO YOU GUYS!” Eric kept rambling on an on about it, N wanted to scream and that was when he saw Uzi sit right next to him.

“You good?” Uzi Asked in concern, she could clearly see him starting to get all flustered as he looked away.

“SEE? HE'S BLUSHING? WHAT A COWARD!”

“FUCK…YOU…” N had clearly had enough, and once he said that, the teacher immediately noticed what was going on.

“Mr Lonestein? Why weren't you listening to all this, Why didn't you notice Sooner?” N was really pissed right now, and he needed answers.

“Because N, you should learn to ignore someone…” Lonestein added, “you're only making it worse!”

N sat down quietly, still looking at Uzi. And that was when Cartman slapped him on the face.

“Bozo…” Cartman mocked him as N felt like exploding. N rolled his eyes as he started to ignore him.

Eric was nowhere near done with N…not yet anyway…He was childish but not too childish, a perfect fit for him…

● ● ● ■ ♡

At lunch, N decided to sit with Uzi, he didn't want to sit with her at all but he never really knew anyone else aside from her.

“N? What's going on?” Uzi asked in a somber tone.

“Oh, it's just Eric, ever since he started this School, he knew I had feelings for you…”

“What?” Uzi gasped as what he said was unexpected.

“But it's not that Uz, I'm scared, I know I should stay strong but sometimes…I can't…I have no control over it…” N added as he cleared his throat.

“I know how it feels N,” replied Uzi, “I never really had anyone either until I met you, I was scared my whole life, scared that I couldn't find anyone like you, and I know you're trying to be strong but you don't even have to be strong all the time.”

“Thanks Uzi!” N cried with happiness returning to him.

“Anytime!” Uzi replied with.

N slowly ate his Lunch as he tried to look away from Uzi, he kept looking up then down…withdrawn like she was…

“And Uzi?” N asked as his voice started to get quieter, “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Uzi’s jaw dropped, her whole entire world went quiet for one second as she tried to process what she had heard, but she also had feelings for him so she nodded.

“Sure…I'd love to…”

N’s insides started screaming as the girl of her dreams started to recognise his love for her. They both continued eating their lunch with very little care in the world, ignoring everything else around them.

Chapter Text

Steve was the VOICE of his school, his singing reaching nearly everyone's ears like they were in heaven or something. He was supposed to perform for the school choir today…

…If only fate let him do so…

Because when he was about to get dressed for the big night, he heard a knock on the door. “I'll get it!” He shouted.

Who was at the door? Victoria and Cynessa, “Steve is it?” V asked in a stern way.

“Yeah…that's me!” Steve added.

“I need you to look after the youngest of our family, N is with his girlfriend right now and J is out of town with her mom and Tessa.”

“Can't you do it?” Steve asked out of curiosity.

“Lemme Finish, I'm taking those darn private lesson things because my mom wants me to and I can't find any good babysitters for her and before you ask if she's too old for one, her mental capacity is that of a child so yeah!” V snapped.

Steve took a deep breath, knowing that there was not much he could do now. “Fine…” he sighed as he started to take Cyn from out of the cold hard rain.

V gave her a friendly wave before closing the door, but when she did, she opened it again.

“And also, no candy, I MEAN IT!” V snapped before closing the door again.

“Okay…no candy…” Steve added.

Steve wanted to scream as millions of emotions raced into his mind, he knew he wouldn't be singing anytime soon. “Hello human, I'm Cyn, giggle!” smiled Cyn, “tilting head, what's your name?”

“My name?” Steve repeated, “it's Steve”. “Tilting Head, smile, Steve?” Cyn replied with, “that's a great name for a human being!”

“Yeah…yeah it is…” Steve mumbled to himself, he then took a deep breath as he asked Cyn if she was hungry.

“Hungry?” Repeated Cyn, “confused face, not hungry.” Steve shrugged as he looked around for things to do with Cyn but there was not really that much he could do with her other than watch TV.

“How about a movie?” Steve questioned as he looked at Cyn.

“Netflix?” Cyn asked out of curiosity.

“No we don't have netflix, we do have TiVo, or I could see what DVDs are upstairs…” Replied Steve.

He rummaged through his room, trying to find what DVD he could put on for Cyn, and he decided to chose Space Jam. When he got down, he put the disc in but that was until Cyn herself unplugged the DVD player.

“Head shake, no Space Jam it's too cartoony!” Steve heard Cyns words nice and clear as he wondered how she could unplug the DVD player without any trouble. “Come on Cyn, put the DVD player back in for me.” Steve said in a stern manner as she blew a raspberry.

“Cyn…”

“Giggle, pick another film…”

“You won't be watching anything if you unplug it again!”

Steve's words were enough to make Cyn plug the DVD player back in. “Sorry Steve, I was being silly!”

“Yea you were…dont do that again okay?”

Cyn nodded as she took the disc out. Steve then took another sigh of relief as she started to listen. “So, what do you want to watch then?” Asked Steve.

“Slasher horror!” Cyn begged, but Steve just said no so she decided that she didn't want to watch anything in the end.

■●■□●■

Hayley was chilling with Jeff, doing the actual couple stuff but that was when Cyn came in without any warning and started to giggle

“Hello Steve's sister, hi Jeff!”

“Who's THAT?” Hayley gasped as she didn't expect a girl like her to come in their room.

“Babe, why is Chucky's wife here?” Jeff asked in confusion. Steve rushed in as she tried to explain why he had to babysit someone he never thought he had to babysit, he escorted Cyn out the room and put her on the dining table.

“No wandering off!” Steve said sternly, “I'll go put in a Kid Cuisine Meal, you just wait here!”

Steve got out the box as he put it in the microwave for a minute, and once Cyn was eating, she got quiet aside from every “nom” she said while eating. And once ate her all star chicken nuggets, she looked up to Steve again.

“Stevey?”

“Yeah Cyn?” He asked.

“I want to tell you about big brother N, Giggle.” Cyn added.

Steve nodded, “go ahead!”

“I love big brother N, he ties my shoes for me, I show my dog plushies to him, and I want to eat his core and his girlfriends one Too, giggle!”

“WHAT?” Steve shouted, “Why do you want to eat their hearts?”

“Because Stevey, Those two silly robots are perfect for my collection! Giggle, loud clap!”

Cyn ran upstairs after she ate her meal, “CYN WAIT!” Steve shouted in shock, he ran and ran until she fell and scraped her knee. She let out a huge blood curdling cry as she did.

“Cyn?” Steve asked in terror, “what's wrong?”

“Sniff, I scraped my knee, can you fix it?” Cyn pleaded. Steve nodded as he got out some band aids from out of the drawer. She stopped crying when he put the band aid on her knee.

“There, all better now…”

Cyn nodded as she looked at Steve in teary eyes, “smiley face, thank you!” Cyn responded with. Cyn immediately ran out of the room to go downstairs but not before Steve said one more thing.

“And be careful Cyn, I don't want V to get angry with me!” Steve persisted.

“Will be!” Cyn Added.

■●■□●■■●■□●■

Cyn Spent hours playing with Steve and once she took a quick nap, Steve took out his phone to call Snot.

“Y'ello?” Said Steve.

“Oh hey Steve, I was wondering where you were, I've been outside of school all day!”

“I know” Steve added, “I wanted to perform today but I couldn't because V from class wanted to babysit her little sister”

Snot nodded again as he noticed that, “I Know how it feels…”

“Yeah…But I'll definitely be in the next performance, I promise!” Steve responded with. And once Steve had just finished talking with Snot, Cyn wasn't taking a nap at all, he looked here, there and everywhere yet no sign of Cyn at all.

…Or was there…

She was up in the pantry eating some goldfish crackers, and Steve started to get a bit disappointed.

…And after he babysat Cyn, V told him to never babysit anyone again.

“I said NO candy!”

“It wasn't candy!” Steve pleaded, “It was goldfish!”

“Still bad for her” V hissed, “You know how our mom reacts when we eat too much shit!”

Once V slammed the door, Steve just shrugged and went upstairs.

Chapter Text

“I speak English and have done the whole time” -actual quote from American Dad.

It was officially Friday, which meant that there was no more school for two whole days (duh!) Everybody was talking about what they were doing, eh…everyone other than Steve.

Steve slammed the locker door, bored out of his mind, he was glad he didn't have to babysit Cyn again since he was banned from doing so anyway and he knew his family was busy.

He sighed as he kept walking.

“Steve?” asked Snot, “still not left school huh?”

Steve shrugged as the conversation went on, “well, my moms picking me up tonight, kinda stupid anyway…”

Snot then looked at Steve and told him he could relate to that. They both walked and walked until they could see the outside and all it's glory.

…And that was when he saw the same girl With short blonde hair and the headband laid on top of it.

Steve tried to get away from her, but it was too soon too late, “Fuck…” he whispered as quietly as he could.

“Why are we whispering?” Snot asked in a confused manner.

“Long story short, I had to babysit the rich girl's childish sister a few days ago, and she banned me from babysitting her because she ate the goldfish without me knowing.” Replied Steve.

Snot looked at him in a confused manner and nearly started to puke, he knew Steve had a pet goldfish at home and automatically assumed it was Klaus.

“The cheese snacks!” Steve elaborated.

Snot nodded as he said that, as he stared and stared at V.

“But she seems kinda nice…And whos that girl with the blonde and pink hair?” Asked Snot.

“That's Lizzy! And you don't wanna be around her…” snapped Steve as he started to grab Snot.

Steve and Snot walked further away, as they finally found Francine's car. Steve waved at him as he said his farewells, his farewells for until monday.

■○□○■

Meanwhile however, things were the same for Stan Marsh and his friends, except…

“WOW YOUR MOM LOOKS DIFFERENT!” Cartman chuckled as Stan looked in absolute shock.

“Ah fuck…I told her not to pick me up…” mumbled Stan.

Cartman chuckled as he bumped Stan in the shoulder, “Your mom’s hot Y'know!”

Stan turned red once Cartman said that, he was even surprised that Sharon didn't listen to their little convo.

“Knock it off Cartman!” Snapped Kyle as he clearly had enough of Cartman's hijinks.

“Hey Don't tell me what do do you fucking jew!” Snapped Cartman.

Kenny just stared at Stan's mom, not saying anything at all, he just looked at her like some sort of weirdo, Stan didn't want to keep his mom waiting so he sighed as he got into his moms car.

And she just asked him how his day was and the usual shit while driving, all before they reached their home.

■□●■○

Stan got out his blackberry phone to check any of his text messages and that was when he found one thing: “Clover High Group Ch@”

“They made a group chat already?” Stan thought to himself, and when he opened the chat, he could see that almost all the students were on it. They were all talking about random shit but one thing really got his attention…

“A party at where?”

There was going to be a party with all the students at this place called “The Chicken Skin” and it was one place Stan didn't expect anyone to talk about.

He started to call Kyle about it, and he did confirm that all the students in school were going. Additionally, Kyle, Stan and this jock named “Thad” were all going together.

However…

●□■●○

“Kyle, you're not going to that party!” Snapped Sheila.

“But mom-” Kyle complained as he knew this was going to happen.

“If everyone in your school jumped off a cliff or went on a dangerous car ride, would you do that too?” Sheila rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms.

“Uh…no but it's not like that is it?” Sighed Kyle as he didn't want to argue with his mom.

“You aren't going to that party and that's a capital final!” Kyle just walked away as his mom said that. He just got upstairs and rang Stan.

“It's off!” Sighed Kyle, “My mom doesn't want me to come, could you pick Thad up instead?”

Stan nodded, “sure…sure…”

Kyle then said one thing again, “yeah lives two blocks away from me, and could you pick up Lizzy too?”

Stan got confused, he didn't even know who Lizzy was but that was when Kyle told him that she was the blonde one with pink ends who always had her hair up in a ponytail. Stan nodded as he confirmed he'd do that.

Kyle put his phone in his pocket as he just stared at the window, sighing as he saw Stan pick up Thad.

■□●○■

Lizzy didn't care what her mom would think if she was going out, her mom didn't even like her going out but unlike Kyle, she couldn't give two shits.

She got a couple of coins from out of her purse, but she only got them out just so that she could buy herself a few drinks…Even if she wasn’t even close to being 21 yet. It was a miracle that her mom was sleeping and her dad was doing some sort of parents evening for the 10th graders, which was even more of a miracle of itself.

She put on some lipstick and put her earrings on, and as soon as she knew it, she bolted out of the door.

“Oh…you're already here…” Stan gasped as he didn't know what to do.

“Ew I'm being picked up by a nobody, good thing it isn't the emo freak who's now dating another nobody!” Lizzy said as she rolled her eyes.

Stan was confused, as he was in a battle in between if he should pick her up or not, but when Thad said that she was always like that, Stan couldn't help but shrug.

And the three just walked to the bus stop so they could go to “The Chicken Skin” which surprisingly, wasn't a chicken restaurant.

Chapter Text

The Chicken Skin looked like a sithole, and the only person who was there was besides the bartender was a chubby guy who was an alcoholic

“Where tf are we?” Asked Lizzy in confusion.

“I…I don't actually know…” said Stan, “I thought there would be a lot more people here…”

Their jaws dropped, they looked like they were in hell right now, and hell they were in. They sat down on a table and started to read the drinks menu, and when and Stan was in charge of ordering.

“Three beers please!”

“ID please!”

“What?” Stan gasped

“You three over there don't look like 21 year olds!”

Lizzy gasped in the distance “and you don't look like an alcoholic, why work here if you-!” Thad put a hand over Lizzy's mouth before she could say anything else.

“Please?” Asked Stan

“No…” the bartender replied sternly, “no beers and that's it!”

And that was when Thad got up and got up his fake ID.

“Hi there, I'm Chapley Chapson and I'm British and I want three spiffing old beers please!”

Lizzy facepalmed, she couldn't believe Thad was doing that kind of thing. And when they drinks arrived, they gulped it down, but before they could drink any more to let themselves be drunk, Stan had got a text message:

“Where tf are you?”-Wendy

“Oh shit!” Stan shouted.

Lizzy and Thad looked at Stan in shock and read the text.

“Fuck…fuck…we were supposed to go to the chicken leg, not the chicken skin!” Stan exclaimed.

Lizzy and Thad sighed as all three stood up and walked away.

Another bus route later, they were actually at the Chicken Leg, which surprisingly, also wasn't a chicken restaurant.

●□■●○●□■●○

The bar was packed with a lot of students, as they were drinking and having fun. Blaring 90s eurodance played as everyone jammed along to the beat!

And that was when Stan saw the love of his life…

…Wendy

“Stan!” Wendy shouted, “where have you been OMG!”

“Sorry, just a mistake…” chuckled Stan.

“Well at least you're here now, let's Part-AY!” Wendy cried!

Stan danced with Wendy, and they danced and danced for hours. And while they were doing that, the Janitor walked in to see Uzi and N in there.

“None of your business twerp BITE ME!” Uzi yelled as she threw her boot in the air, which unexpectedly hit Stan in the head.

The music stopped for a bit as Stan hit the ground, and Uzi ran up to him in concern.

“Oh nonononono, are…you okay?” Uzi asked in concern.

“Home…need to go home…” Stan said slowly.

“Aren't you that guy who-” Uzi said before she was cut off.

“HELP HIM YOU IDIOT!” Snapped Wendy, "don't worry, I know what to do!”

●□■●○●□■●○

Lizzy asked for another beer, but was asked to show ID

“But I wanted beer!” Asked Lizzy as she avoided all forms of eye contact.

“And I want your ID!” the bartender snapped.

“Hey can you please give me some beer, I wont tell!...idiot!”

“Not until you show me your ID”

And that was when Lizzy snapped, “WELL YOU LET ALL THESE STUDENTS DRINK HERE! HE'S UNDERAGE, SHE'S UNDERAGE, HIS MOM STILL DRESSES HIM, HER MOM STILL BUYS HER JEANS, THE EMO BITCH AND HER BOYFRIEND WAS SEEN DRINKING LAGER JUST MOMENTS AGO, AND WINE!”

Everyone watched Lizzy in horror, and Uzi and N emerged from the janitors room.

“Tf is that bitch doing?” Asked Uzi

“I don't know…” replied N.

“Right that's it! The bar is closed, get out!” The bartender roared and everyone was forced to leave.

●□■●○●□■●○
Stan was immediately sent home but since everyone found out where they all were, literally the whole school got grounded and some were even caught underage drinking.

…Well, everyone except Lizzy

“Normally, I wouldn't give any shits but it's ironic that you gave everyone else but me a beer!” She exclaimed.

The bartender nodded as she told her to get out too.