Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I see a lot of people out there falling head over heels for folks they’ve never even laid eyes on, let alone exchanged a simple good morning with.

Me, at least, I’m lucky enough to like someone I not only see and talk to every day but also know really, really well.

But there’s a problem.

“Hey, useless Deku.” The rough, gruff voice rudely interrupted my train of thought. I realized then that I’d been staring into space for who-knows-how-long, unblinking, for several good minutes. “No wonder your legs creak just climbing five steps—you don’t do jack shit, just sit there scratching your ass.” Kacchan was panting, and for a moment, he yanked the collar of his black T-shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face. The hem lifted too, revealing a bit of his chiseled abs. I shivered all over. “Get up, damn it, come play with us.”

“I’m terrible at this, Kacchan. You know that,” I replied with a pout, hugging my backpack resting on my lap. I was sitting in the bleachers, waiting for Kacchan’s basketball practice to wrap up. “It’s easy for you to say—you’re not the one they look at like, Oh my God, what’s this guy doing here? They’re one step away from cussing me out, and I’m pretty sure the only reason they don’t is because of you.”

He sighed.

“I’ve told you, just point the finger, and I’ll beat the shit out of any bastard who messes with you.”

I burst out laughing.

And no, Kacchan wasn’t kidding.

“Then you won’t have a team left, ‘cause you’d have to take on everyone.”

He shrugged.

“I’d beat ‘em and put a leash on ‘em and make ‘em bark.” He held out his hand. “Pass me the water.”

Yeah, he’s already roughed up two or three guys because of me—whether they made nasty comments or just gave me a dirty look. All because they can’t wrap their heads around how the most popular guy in school, basketball team captain, hot as hell, and—on top of all that—a straight-A student, which everyone finds hilarious because it totally shatters the dumb jock stereotype, could be best friends with a scrawny little guy who wears round-framed glasses and spends his breaks holed up in the art room.

And he doesn’t even know how much it messes with me that he’s always got my back, teeth bared, not giving a damn about how weird people think our friendship is.

I grabbed the water bottle and tossed it to him.

Kacchan has a ritual. First, he leans his hip against the little railing between us and watches his teammates play while he twists the cap off the bottle. After chugging half the water in one go, he throws his head back and dumps the rest on his face. Then, like a dog fresh out of a bath, he shakes his head like crazy and, last but not least, runs his hand through his wet blonde bangs to push them back.

It’s a ritual I enjoy quite a bit, I’ll admit.

Katsuki’s the kind of guy who, at first glance, seems like your typical macho jerk who’d shoulder-check nerds in the hallways on purpose or smack girls’ butts when they’re not looking. I used to think he was like that too—his perpetual scowl doesn’t help much. He’s got this natural look like he’s pissed off all the time, which, at first, scared the hell out of me. I’d avoid even making eye contact with him. But now? I think it’s kind of funny.

“So, bro? What’s it gonna take for you to get back in the game? Need a nap too? Or you thinking about that busty brunette you banged yesterday?” Kirishima piped up, the only guy on the team who’s actually close to Katsuki off the court and the only one who bothers to say hi to me when I show up.

“Go fuck yourself, shitty hair,” Katsuki shot back. “Damn it, you can’t make a single shot without me there to pass you the ball, can you, you worm?”

That got a round of loud laughs from everyone, while Kirishima, with a playful grin, just rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

Katsuki tossed the empty bottle back to me before heading back to the others, and a new game kicked off.

We met in our first year of high school. I was spending yet another break in the art room, which is always empty at that time—that’s exactly why I love it so much.

I was painting with my back to the door, an easel holding a canvas in front of me, some tubes of paint scattered on the little table beside me, a brush in one hand, and a palette in the other. The only light came from the sun streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows covering the walls—I feel more comfortable like that than under harsh white bulbs.

And I nearly jumped out of my skin when a deep, raspy voice sounded behind me.

“Holy shit, that’s badass, dude. You made that?”

I jolted in my chair, almost dropping the palette from the shock. Wide-eyed, I spun around and came face-to-face with a tall blonde with a furrowed brow, wearing the red-and-black team jacket, apparently pretty focused on what I’d been doing on the once-blank canvas. Both hands were tucked into the pockets of his oversized jacket.

I recognized him right away.

Isn’t that the guy who’s always pissed at everyone?

I’m screwed. He’s gonna smash my face into this canvas, I thought, already trembling at the idea that he was probably just messing with me and would take advantage of the empty room to beat me senseless.

“I-I made it…” I stammered so bad that, combined with my bugged-out eyes behind my glasses, it was painfully obvious how much I was freaking out.

Katsuki laughed and gave me a light smack on the shoulder.

“Of course you did, dude, I was just messing with you. It’s what people always say when they see someone doing something cool, even when it’s obvious they’re the one making it, right?” he said, shifting his gaze from my painting to look at me for the first time. I kept staring at him like I was waiting for the first punch, because I’d built up such a solid image of him as a total asshole that I couldn’t convince myself otherwise, even with his casual tone. He clearly noticed and, locking eyes with me, suddenly got serious. That’s when I really swallowed hard, subtly raising my arms to brace myself for defense. “You’d better give me that painting if you wanna live to make another one.”

“S-sure!” I didn’t hesitate, frantically pulling my painting off the easel to hand it over. But when I held it out to him, the scary scowl melted away, replaced by a hearty laugh.

That’s when, with the sunlight bouncing off his spiky blonde hair and his red irises—making them even brighter—I thought, for the first time, despite still being confused and scared: Wow, this guy’s actually really good-looking.

“Damn, nerd. You should’ve seen your face,” he said between laughs, taking the canvas from my hands just to set it back on the easel. Then, that same hand landed on my shoulder, and I gulped at how warm and heavy it felt, even through my uniform. “Chill out, broccoli head. Catch you later.”

And, still stunned by what had just happened, I watched him stroll out of the room, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jacket, which had a number on the back and, above it, a name stitched in black-and-white letters:

Bakugo Katsuki.

After that day, Katsuki started dropping by the art room during breaks every now and then. At first, he’d just pop in quick to see what I was painting, and we’d exchange a few words. I didn’t really get what his deal was, but I didn’t mind his visits either. Over time, he started striking up conversations, asking stuff like how old I was when I started drawing, what I liked to draw, that kind of thing. I liked the attention, even if I still didn’t get why the most popular guy at Yuei cared about spending his breaks exiled from the world with a nobody in the school hierarchy.

Before I knew it, I was never alone in the art room anymore—Katsuki became a regular there.

I don’t know when I started calling him Kacchan. The nickname just came to life on its own, without me even noticing. All I know is that, from the start, he’d been calling me Deku, which means “useless.” Contrary to how it sounds, it’s actually a funny, even affectionate nickname, because after I thought he was gonna pound me into dust when we met, he started calling me Deku to tease me about it, playing the tough guy. It turned into an inside joke between us.

Suddenly, the reclusive, kinda awkward nerd became best friends with the guy at the top of the school’s food chain. Katsuki, a wolf. Me, a lamb. No one got it—least of all me. Even Kirishima, who’s a lot like Kacchan in terms of looks and social status, doesn’t spend afternoons playing video games at his place like I do. I even wondered once if Katsuki wanted me as a friend because I wasn’t a threat to him—on the contrary, his presence would stand out even more next to me. But I never voiced those insecurities to him; I just decided to shove those dumb thoughts aside.

Nowadays, we still spend our breaks together in that room, but we also eat in the cafeteria—something I only do because of Katsuki, since there’s nothing more uncomfortable than sitting at a table surrounded by people who don’t even care if you’re there. During those times, Kacchan was usually too busy with everyone vying for a piece of his attention to give me much of it, but it wasn’t on purpose—it was just a side effect of being so popular, and I got that. Still, it’s not like he ignored me. He always made sure I sat next to him, and if that spot wasn’t free anymore, he wouldn’t hesitate to get up, grab a chair from another table, and plop it right beside him for me. I’d die of embarrassment because everyone stared at me like I was some problem that needed fixing, but deep down, my heart warmed at those little things he did.

Those little things, by the way, sparked a rumor that Katsuki and I were a thing.

I was scared that gossip might push him away—after all, in high school, everything’s fair game for mockery, and apparently, two guys kissing is the biggest joke of all. I thought he’d care about what people thought of him, but I should’ve known by then that Katsuki’s the most unpredictable person I’ve ever met.

All the rumors, to him, went in one ear and out the other. He didn’t distance himself from me—quite the opposite.

And, ironically, that’s when my problem started.

He made a point of showing he didn’t give a crap what anyone thought. Just to mess with people, he started throwing his arm around my shoulders when we walked through the halls together and even lent me his team jacket sometimes, with Bakugo Katsuki plastered huge on the back. It made me feel like a dwarf since it was way too big for me, but I liked it.

I started liking it more than I should’ve.

Katsuki’s indifference to it all made the buzz about us die down eventually. Seems like, for people, it’s no fun if the target of the teasing doesn’t care. If Katsuki didn’t give a damn, why should I? My only worry was that he would care.

And, well, there’s my problem.

Because I caught myself wishing all those rumors were true.

“Wanna come over to my place?” Kacchan asked, staring straight ahead as we walked side by side. His hand held his bag slung over his shoulder—a habit only he had. The other was stuffed in the pocket of his sweatpants. His blonde hair, damp from a recent shower in the locker room, was pushed back, though a few stubborn strands insisted on falling over his red eyes.

I let out a quiet sigh at the sight, looking away and gripping my backpack straps tight with both hands.

“Sure, Kacchan. I just need to swing by the art club first… I lent some paints to a friend and told her I’d pick them up now.”

“Got it, nerd.”

I let out a laugh.

Hearing Katsuki call me a nerd will always be funny, since his grades are way better than mine.

“Just don’t wear his ass out too bad, huh, Bakugo?!” one of the guys from the team yelled from a distance, laughing with the others. “If this kid doesn’t show up to school tomorrow, you’ll know why…”

I rolled my eyes, adjusting my round glasses on my nose.

I blushed when, out of nowhere, Katsuki’s strong arm draped casually over my shoulders.

No matter how many times he’d done it, I’d never get used to it.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Got more ice cream yet, dude?” Kacchan fired back, not bothering to turn and give them a glance, not even breaking his stride. “You’ll need it when you’re bawling your eyes out watching Titanic alone for the millionth time tonight, you bastard.”

The court erupted in laughter, and I couldn’t hold mine back either.

On the way to the art room, everyone flashed big smiles and greeted Katsuki enthusiastically. He’d just give a barely-there smirk and a slight wave with the hand resting on my shoulder, not leaving much room for anyone who might want to stop and chat.

Even after all this time, I could still see on people’s faces how they couldn’t get used to a guy like me being best friends with the most sought-after dude in school.

I can’t say I’m much different—I haven’t totally gotten used to it either.

Kacchan only took his arm off my shoulder when we reached our destination. Unlike during break, the art room was packed after classes, but since I’d gone to watch his practice, everyone was already getting ready to head out.

Uraraka, who was packing her brushes and supplies into her bag, beamed when she saw me.

“Izuku!” Her brown eyes turned into crescent moons as she jogged over to me. “I thought you weren’t coming. Here, take these.” She handed me my paints in a little bag.

“Thanks, Uraraka!” I gave her a big smile back. “Did you finish your painting?”

“Thank you! And yeah, I did.” She clenched her fist in front of her face and pumped her arm down, like she was celebrating her victory. I laughed. “Thanks to you! Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She threw herself at me, hugging me tight and rocking me side to side. I laughed, returning the warm squeeze. “Hm, and you are…?” She finally seemed to notice Katsuki beside me. Surprised by that, my eyes widened.

How is there a single soul in this school who doesn’t know who Bakugo Katsuki is?

“Katsuki,” he answered, extending his hand to shake hers. She flashed him one of her signature bright smiles.

“Nice to meet you, Katsuki! Are you on the team?” she asked, curious, noticing the black-and-red jacket tied around his waist.

Katsuki hid it well, but I knew he had to be just as shocked that she didn’t know him.

“He’s the captain,” I answered for him.

“Oh, got it. You must be amazing, then! I’m terrible at sports,” she laughed. “I’m Uraraka, nice to meet you.”

Kacchan crossed his bare arms, making his muscles look even bigger in that stance.

“I can teach you, if you want.”

What?

My eyes widened.

“Ever played basketball? You could come with Deku to one of our practices.”

My heart skipped a beat.

I turned to look at him.

Katsuki was staring at her intently. There was something different in that look.

I lowered my head a bit.

“I have, yeah, but, you know, it wasn’t really a proper game… I’d just bounce the ball and try to make a shot,” Ochako laughed. What threw me off, though, was that he smiled back. And it wasn’t one of those fake smiles he threw at other people. “Oh, I’d love to go, then.”

“Cool. Swing by.”

A brief silence settled in, but they kept looking at each other. I noticed the faint blush on her face and could tell Katsuki did too, because his smile grew.

My stomach twisted.

I was the odd one out here—they didn’t even see me anymore. I wondered if they’d notice if I just turned and left.

“Alright, thanks for the invite,” she finally said, looking away and brushing a brown strand behind her ear with an exaggerated flourish.

That whole scene was pissing me off.

“See you there, then.”

“See you tomorrow, then.”

“Later.”

“Later.”

They laughed at each other, and I thought they’d keep going with the yeah, cool, see ya for another millennium, but thankfully Uraraka put an end to my misery when she turned, shyly heading back to her table to finish packing up.

“Let’s go, Kacchan?” I nudged his arm, but he stayed still, watching the short-haired brunette who was now oblivious to us.

My chest felt a slight weight over my heart, pressing it down in an almost subtle way. It wasn’t enough to knock the wind out of me, but it was enough to make me scared it might.

I swallowed hard.

My heartbeat was racing. In all our two years of friendship, I’d never once seen Katsuki look at a girl the way he was looking at her now.

“Kacchan…?” My voice barely came out. I wanted to turn and leave—he wouldn’t notice anyway—but my legs just wouldn’t move. My eyes were glued to his goofy face, and his were glued to her.

I just wanted to disappear.

“Let’s go,” he finally said, turning and walking out of the room without waiting for me. At that moment, a group of three girls swarmed Ochako, and the four of them dove into an excited, animated conversation, gesturing wildly and grinning ear to ear. Even if I couldn’t hear what they were saying, it was obvious it was about Katsuki.

I huffed and left the room.

I gripped my backpack strap hard.

“You guys known each other long?” was the first thing he asked when I caught up.

That weight in my chest kept growing.

“Not really…” I answered simply. I wanted to sound casual, but gravity kept pulling my head down.

“You close?”

Every question about her made my heart jump in a different way.

I gripped my backpack strap tighter.

“Not really.” That was a lie. If I’d said otherwise, he’d definitely ask me more about her.

“Hm.”

He wasn’t looking at me, and I was secretly grateful for that. On the other hand, the fact that he was staring off into space made me think he was probably thinking about her, and that freaked me out more than if he’d been staring at me.

“You into her?” I blurted out fast before my courage ran dry. But the second the words slipped out, I already felt myself deflate.

“Oh…” He scratched the back of his neck with his hand. Still not looking at me. “Well, she’s pretty cute, right? And she seems interesting, so… yeah, we’ll see.”

The way he tried to brush it off like it was no big deal hurt more than if he’d just said a straight-up yes.

A million things raced through my head right then.

I wanted to say she already had a boyfriend or, an even more obvious lie, that he wasn’t her type—because Katsuki’s everyone’s type.

But anything I thought of saying to make him less interested in her just felt too stupid.

And even though I wanted to vanish, I didn’t want him to notice that.

So we went to his place to play video games, like we’d planned.

I see a lot of people out there falling head over heels for folks they’ve never even laid eyes on, let alone spoken a single word to.

Me, at least, I’m lucky enough to like someone I not only see and talk to every day but also know really, really well.

But there’s a problem.

He’s my best friend.

And he’s totally straight.

Chapter Text

Kacchan isn’t the type to talk about girls with me. I don’t know, maybe my face screams that I don’t have much to say on the matter.

Still, whenever he does mention them—or I catch him talking with some guy—he doesn’t get into details or act all hyped up. I’ve never heard him say stuff like, “So-and-so’s hot as hell,” or “I wanna hook up with her—have you seen her ass?”

Usually, when he’s into a girl, he just goes for it and hooks up with her. He doesn’t say much about it, and if I ask something like, “Was it fun?” he’ll just say “Yeah” or, at most, toss out a funny story about what happened, but he never gets personal. And it’s rare for him to hook up with the same girl twice.

I like that about him. I like how he doesn’t brag about his “conquests”, even though I know there’ve been plenty. I like how he doesn’t act like those over-the-top guys who can’t see a woman pass by without their necks doing a full 360° twist like the girl from The Exorcist.

But right then, I’d have much preferred him going off on a rant about how huge Uraraka’s boobs are over this:

“I’m thinking about asking her out,” he said out of nowhere, making my eyes widen.

We were eating tuna sandwiches he’d made for us after spending the whole afternoon playing Overwatch and Valorant. After that moment earlier at school, he hadn’t brought up Uraraka again, and we’d had a normal afternoon like always. I’d been able to relax a bit and stop fixating on it, comforting myself with the thought that maybe Ochako was just another one of the many girls he takes a passing interest in. But now that he’d dropped it again so suddenly, I froze, mid-bite into my sandwich.

“I thought about a movie, but that feels too obvious…” he said casually, eyes on the sandwich in his hands. His shoulders were relaxed. Mine were tense. “She’s an artist like you, right? What do artists like?”

Katsuki had never, ever asked me for advice or opinions about girls. Let alone shown this kind of interest in one.

A shiver ran down my spine, making me shake slightly in my chair.

I mean, for him to just throw that out there, he must’ve been thinking about it all afternoon—even while we were laughing and gaming together. He was thinking about her while I was wishing time would freeze and keep us in that moment forever.

Kacchan was so worried about taking her somewhere she’d like that he was actually unsure about what to do, asking me for input to make sure he wouldn’t screw it up…?

Bakugo Katsuki, insecure?

Suddenly, I wasn’t hungry anymore.

“You know girls way better than I do,” I replied, trying to sound indifferent and hoping I didn’t come off too sharp. To cover it up, I took another bite, even though I had no appetite left.

He chuckled, looking up at me.

“But I’ve never gone out with an artist chick. Artist chicks probably only like cult films.”

Huh?! I’m an artist, and I don’t only like cult films—he knows that.

Would it be too childish to say I felt a little offended by that, even if I couldn’t quite pin down why?

“But she’s still a girl, right? Can’t be that different.”

When silence settled in, guilt hit me hard. I slouched in my chair, shame creeping over my face. I let out a quiet sigh, closing my eyes for a moment.

Shit.

“I mean… well…” I took my last bite of the sandwich, then gulped some soda just to buy time while I figured out what to say. “There’s an exhibit of some Spanish artist’s work next week, I think. A watercolorist, if I remember right… If I were her, I’d like that.”

With every word, my chest throbbed a little more.

I’d been planning to ask him to go with me to that exhibit, but now…

“Yeah?”

I nodded slowly.

“Hm, then that’s it. Thanks, man.”

I tried to flash him a smile, praying it didn’t look like I was hiding a stomachache.

You like her that much? I wanted to ask, but how could I without sounding off?

“She’s really pretty, huh?” I tossed out casually, hoping he’d elaborate. I was stunned by how much interest he was showing in her—I’d never seen him like this—but I still clung to the hope that maybe he just wanted to hook up.

“Yeah, she is.”

His short answer almost made me huff in frustration.

I forced a smile as I watched him finish his sandwich.

“Were you surprised she didn’t know who you were?”

He chugged his soda in one go and got up to wash the dishes, taking mine with him.

“Would it sound too cocky if I said yeah?”

I laughed.

“Nah, it’s fine. I was surprised too. I thought everyone at that school knew you…”

He kept washing the dishes in silence, and I held back the scream scratching at my throat. Damn it! Why can’t he just be a normal guy and talk to me about girls like normal guys do?

Say she’s sexy as hell, that you’re dying to hook up with her—anything to ease this ache! Act like a sleazy jerk just once in your damn life, Kacchan, you idiot!

“Guess that caught your interest, huh?”

“What?”

“Her not knowing you.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess.”

I nearly started tapping my foot, waiting for him to say more—which he didn’t.

Seriously?! “I guess”? That’s it?!

I couldn’t make sense of his answers, and it was driving me nuts.

I didn’t push it, worried it’d seem suspicious—after all, I’ve never acted too curious about the girls he’s into. So I just got up and helped with the dishes.

“Deku, you into her or something?” he asked casually, eyes fixed on the way the sponge in his hand scrubbed the dirty dishes.

Huh?!

“No, why?”

“Dunno. Just thinking,” he shrugged, handing me a plate to dry. “I don’t wanna step on your toes, man. If you’re into her, I’ll back off.”

That actually pissed me off.

“What’s that mean? You think I can’t compete with the great Bakugo Katsuki?”

He let out a nasal laugh.

“Go to hell, Deku. I just meant you met her first—I don’t wanna hit on a girl you’re into, damn it. We’re friends.”

Yeah. Friends.

I thought about saying, “Yeah, I’m into her,” just to make him drop it. But that’d only delay the inevitable. Sooner or later, he’d want to date someone, and I’d be left crying in a ball. Plus, that’d be pretty selfish of me.

The option that tempted me most was, “No, I’m not into her. I couldn’t be. Know why? Because I like guys. Guys like you.”

But what I said was:

“I don’t see her that way. Chill.”

We finished the dishes in silence, then crashed back onto the living room couch. Kacchan grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels, looking for a horror movie—we didn’t even need to discuss it; bad horror flicks are our thing—while his other hand scratched his junk through his sweatpants.

“You’re the type who hooks up quietly, huh, nerd?”

The sudden question made me raise an eyebrow at him.

Kacchan leaned his head back against the couch and turned to me, a sly smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What, you gonna tell me you’ve never gotten with a girl?” The teasing slithered through his tone. It felt more like a playful jab to mess with me than anything serious—I knew he didn’t really care what I did or didn’t do with my love life.

But in two years, this was the first time we’d touched on this.

Weird, right? Two guy friends who’ve never talked about sex. Maybe he felt an opening after I asked about Uraraka in the kitchen.

I got nervous. What was I supposed to say? I couldn’t just say “No” all casual, like it didn’t matter—that’d be odd. But I didn’t want to say “No” all sad either, like some pitiful sap.

So I went with:

“Yeah, I have… but just once, and it was quick. You know I’m shy.”

“Hm.” He picked Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. We’d watched it a million times, and it never got old.

I looked down, fidgeting with my fingers.

Maybe I was being ridiculous. It’s not like Kacchan would hit me or freak out if I told him I’m gay. He doesn’t care that people see him with his arm around me in the halls or that there are rumors about us being together.

But maybe he only acts that way because he thinks I’m straight. If I told him I’m not, would he still treat me the same? Rest his arm on my shoulders, lend me his jacket, call me into the bathroom while he’s showering to grab a towel he forgot…?

I’m scared he’d change with me. Even if it’s not a huge shift, I’m terrified the little things would.

If friendship’s the most I can have with him, then at least let me feel his hand on my shoulder now and then.

“Hey, I know a girl…” Oh, no. No, no. Please don’t start this. “I think she’s your type. Cute, short, into anime. She’s in the chess club or something…”

“Oh, thanks, man,” I said, trying to sound as relaxed as possible while pretending to care more about the movie. “But I’m good.”

“Yeah?” I felt his eyes on me. “I mean, not that I think you’re desperate or anything… but since you’re shy and all, I could introduce her to—”

“Look, look! Best part!” I cut him off fast, pointing at the TV with a forced grin. Kacchan turned back to the movie, laughing when the sheriff nabbed the guys and hung them upside down in that garage setup.

I swallowed the relieved sigh threatening to slip out.

“Man, if I were there, I’d drag that old bastard’s face across hot asphalt ‘til there wasn’t a cell left of that son of a bitch.”

“You always say stuff like that, Kacchan!” I laughed, cracking up at how his reactions were always the same—though he’d come up with new ways to kill the old guy in his head every time, no matter how many times we’d seen it.

“Oh, come on, Deku, you always jump at the same scenes—seriously!”

“That’s a lie!” I said through laughs, smacking his shoulder and making him laugh too as he tried to fend me off. It was totally true. “Shut up and watch the movie!”

“Yeah, yeah, we’d better focus. Never seen this one before, right? Premiering tonight,” he teased, and I laughed, throwing my head back. I kicked his shin. “Gotta pay attention so we don’t miss a thing.”

“Idiot!”

“Want popcorn?”

“We just ate, Kacchan!”

“And since when do you turn down food, you bastard? Your stomach’s like a dinosaur’s!”

I let out a warm, genuine laugh, feeling my chest lighten up bit by bit. For those few minutes, I’d completely forgotten about this Heather girl.

“Fine, I want popcorn with tons of butter, Kacchan.”

And the night rolled on like usual, no more talk of girls.

*~*

I was sweating bullets.

For the first time, I wished the bell signaling the end of classes wouldn’t ring. When it finally did, my whole body tensed up.

I sighed, slumping my head onto my desk.

I just wanted to fall asleep right there, staring at the way my messy green curls sprawled across the table.

I only lifted my head, letting out an annoyed grunt, when my phone buzzed with a notification.

[Kacchan]: hey

[Kacchan]: don’t forget to bring her to practice today  

I wanted to reply with a “Screw you,” but instead, I just sent an “ok.”

Why did I even check the message? If I hadn’t, I could’ve shown up and said I forgot. “But I texted you, didn’t you see?” “Nope, didn’t see it, oh well.”

Too late for that now, but… I’ve got an idea. I’ll say I went to her classroom but couldn’t find her. Yeah. Perfect.

Feeling a bit smug about my plan, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and left the room. I took a different, much longer route than usual, all to avoid the chance of running into Uraraka and having her latch onto me.

Even though I’d always seen her at the art club, we hadn’t been talking for long. We’re not super close, but I wouldn’t say we’re just acquaintances either. We’ve been to each other’s houses a few times for club projects, and once I found her crying in the bathroom—her cat had died, and I skipped the rest of my classes to keep her company. My shirt got soaked from how much she cried on my shoulder that day, but I didn’t mind. We’ve chatted plenty of times in the art room while painting at our easels, and sometimes she’d even open up about personal stuff—like the time her dad almost hit her for “wasting too much time painting nonsense” instead of “studying for something important.” I felt bad that her parents didn’t support her, especially since she wanted to make art her career, but she lied to them, saying it was just a hobby. I’d usually stay quiet, just listening to her vent, offering a comforting word here and there. I couldn’t say I knew what she was going through, because I didn’t.

It’s almost laughable that the biggest problem in my life is being in love with my straight best friend.

Uraraka’s a sweetheart, and maybe that’s what gets under my skin so much. If Katsuki had fallen for some petty, stuck-up, selfish girl, it might’ve been easier to deal with.

But no. She’s gentle. Friendly. Sweet. Captivating. Kind. She has the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen, and her eyes sparkle like stars. She’s radiant, and that’s why I feel blinded every time she shows up.

And all those traits I’ve always admired in her? They irritate me more than anything now. Maybe that makes me a bit of a bad person.

When I got to the basketball court, the guys were already warming up. I scanned the crowd for Kacchan, trying to spot him with the others.

But he wasn’t with them.

He was near the bleachers.

With her.

My throat went dry.

He was leaning over the low metal railing that separates the court from the stands. His elbows rested on the rail, his hands casually hanging near her slim waist. Her delicate arms were draped over his broad shoulders, her fingers playing with his blonde hair, tugging at it in a subtle caress. Their faces were close—too close—and they were just talking, which made me think the proximity probably meant they didn’t need to speak loudly, making the moment feel even more… romantic.

When did that happen?

Yesterday it was just innocent flirting, and now…

Now…

Now they looked like a couple chatting about where they’d go for dinner that night.

Is that normal? That kind of jump in closeness overnight… so fast. How did this happen? Did I miss something? I only took fifteen minutes to get here—was that enough time for everything to fall apart?

I’ve never run my fingers through his hair like that, and in less than twenty-four hours, she’d already done it—and maybe more.

I’d rather catch them making out like animals than see them touching and talking so intimately like this. I’d rather he just used her to blow off steam—as awful as that sounds—than let her stroke his hair while they whispered about things that’d probably rip me in half if I could hear them.

I dropped my head, and that’s when a sudden dizziness hit me.

My chest was squeezing my heart so tight I worried it might stop beating.

She laughed at something he said, and that’s when he turned his head, a smile spreading wider when he saw me.

He said something to her, then stepped away, making my eyes widen as he strode toward me with quick, long steps.

Please don’t come near me, Kacchan.

Don’t get close to me.

Because my broken heart’s beating so loud I’m scared you’ll hear it.

“Hey, Deku! You took forever,” he said, hands on his hips as he stopped in front of me.

I didn’t want him to notice how I felt, but I just couldn’t say anything. I stared at him with a disappointment that didn’t make sense—because Kacchan and I are just friends. He doesn’t even know how I feel; it’s not his fault… but still…

I’m angry.

I wanted to bombard him with aggressive questions about how they’d gotten to this point, I wanted to…

But all I managed was a weak, nasal laugh as I looked away.

“You okay?” he asked, taking another step closer. “You feeling sick?” The concern in his voice only pissed me off more.

“I was in the bathroom… got a bit of a stomachache, that’s all,” I mumbled, afraid to meet his eyes and see any hint that he knew I was lying through my teeth.

“You been to the nurse?”

“No, I haven’t… it’s not a big deal, seriously. Chill.”

“There’s a first-aid kit in the locker room, I’ll grab some meds for y—”

“I said it’s fine,” I snapped, cutting him off with a coldness I didn’t mean to let slip but couldn’t hold back.

I finally looked at him, worried about his reaction. But he just let out a soft nasal laugh and raised his hands in surrender.

“Alright, nerd. If you say so…”

“Shouldn’t you guys have started the game by now?”

“Oh, the guys are still warming up, so I was chatting with Uraraka.”

“Did you chat with Uraraka because the guys were warming up, or are they warming up because you were chatting with Uraraka?”

Katsuki raised an eyebrow at me, and that’s when I realized I was crossing a line I shouldn’t have.

I forced a smile to soften the hard edges on my face.

“You kept the guys waiting just to go hang out with a girl… tsk, what a lousy captain, huh?” I said in a playful tone, and I think I pulled it off, because his confused look faded. “Did she come here alone?”

“Yeah, I asked about you, but she said she didn’t know where you were.”

“You guys already a thing?” I tried to sound casual.

He laughed, scratching the back of his neck.

He looked a little embarrassed by my question, and that threw me off again. He wasn’t acting with the usual indifference he’d always shown when we briefly talked about girls.

“Well… not exact—”

“BAKUGO, DAMN IT!” Kirishima shouted out of nowhere, grabbing our attention and thankfully saving me from another jealous question. “Get over here, man! If you wanted to set up a meet-cute for your boyfriend to meet your new girlfriend, you could’ve just canceled practice altogether.”

“Man, I’d only not break your face because I’m in a good mood today,” Kacchan shot back, surprisingly calm, turning away from me and heading back to the others. He caught the ball they tossed him, dribbling it as he walked casually. “But next time, I’ll smash your ugly mug into the toilet and make you eat shit, you bastard.”

“Noted,” Kirishima fired back, laughing as he got a kick out of riling up his friend again.

The game finally started, and I sighed. I stood there for a bit, watching them and debating whether to leave or stay. Maybe bailing without a word would look too weird, but honestly, I’m not sure if I’m overthinking what Kacchan might think anymore…

Because he’s clearly got way more interesting stuff on his mind now.

“Hey, Izuku!” A sweet, soft voice called out to me. When I turned toward the bleachers, there was Uraraka, waving at me excitedly.

I forced a smile and waved back, trudging over with reluctant steps.

I sat next to her, and her wide grin—which used to lift my spirits—now dragged me down further.

“You vanished. Where were you?”

“Felt a little off, went to the bathroom.”

“Oh, yeah… you feeling better now?”

“Yeah.”

“Good! Did you take anything?”

“Nah, it’s fine… just a normal little bug, no biggie.”

“Got it. I’ve got some meds in my bag if you need any.”

“Thanks,” I managed a tiny smile. “I’m good, really. Appreciate it.”

She beamed at me, her eyes turning into thin lines.

“Just let me know if you need anything.”

Stay away from him, and I’ll feel better, were the words itching in my throat.

I gave her another small smile, and we turned our attention to the game. My eyes followed the tall blonde streaking across the court like a jet, weaving through the others with insane agility and skill. The guys barely blinked, and suddenly Kacchan had stolen the ball again, again, again, and again.

I knew both Uraraka and I were locked onto the same thing.

She let out a sudden sigh.

“Man, he’s just perfect, isn’t he?”

We turned to face each other at the same time, and when her wide eyes met mine, her cheeks flushed so red that if I held a tomato next to her face, there’d be no difference.

“I-I mean… oh, sorry!” She laughed, embarrassed. “I ended up thinking out loud…”

“It’s fine. I get it.”

“Wow, now I’m mortified,” she said through giggles, trying to hide her blushing face behind her brown hair.

“It’s cool, I don’t mind.”

Yeah, I do. A lot. The last thing I want is to sit here listening to how amazing you think he is, rubbing it in my face—without even meaning to—how lucky you are that this incredible guy’s so into you.

But I’m too weak to just get up and leave.

“You know, Izuku… I didn’t realize you two were such good friends.”

That comment made me perk up.

“I thought you said you didn’t know him.”

She let out an awkward laugh, her face somehow getting even redder.

“Of course I know him. It’s impossible not to. It’s just, you know, with so many girls after him… when I saw him with you, I figured I should try to stand out somehow.”

I stared at her, unimpressed.

For some reason, I felt angry, but I couldn’t blame her.

“I see… that was pretty smart of you,” I admitted.

“You think so?” She looked at me with sparkling eyes.

“Yeah, well… Kacchan’s pretty popular, right?” My gaze fell on the sweaty blonde darting across the court, laughing as he stole the ball from Kirishima for the hundredth time, leaving the redhead pissed and frustrated. I sighed. “Anyone that desirable gets intrigued by someone who seems indifferent to them.”

“Hm, I guess so,” she giggled.

I had to fight hard not to huff or roll my eyes.

“But please, Izuku!” I turned back to her, confused by the sudden urgency in her voice. “Please don’t tell any of this to Bakugo, okay?”

I could see the pleading in her eyes.

I could tell him. I could spill how she’s obviously head over heels for him, how she put on an act just to catch his attention.

But what good would that do me?

He might lose interest in her, maybe…

But what about the next girl? What could I do then? Sooner or later, he’d fall for someone—it’s inevitable.

He’d never look at me differently. He’d never want me.

Why would he, anyway? I’m not special. I’m not interesting. I don’t get the best grades. I don’t wear the coolest clothes or have amazing skills.

I don’t even have half her beauty.

And one way or another, despite my feelings, he’s still my friend.

It’d be selfish to mess with his life over a one-sided crush he doesn’t even know exists.

I don’t want to be the reason he’s unhappy, no matter what.

Even if it means making myself miserable.

“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.”

“You swear?”

“I swear.”

She flashed a gorgeous smile.

I stared at her in silence. Her short, perfectly trimmed brown hair, with those two longer strands framing her face, gave her a cute charm. Her big brown eyes radiated a certain innocence. The natural pink of her cheeks, the way her smile was always so sweet and bright…

She looked like an angel.

How could I hate her?

My chest tightened, and I looked away.

Yeah. She’s beautiful. She’s perfect for you, Kacchan. Because you’re perfect too.

Why would you ever kiss me?

For a second, I wished I could be her.

Just for a moment, just to know what it’d feel like to kiss you.

“You know, um… Izuku…”

I had a hunch about what she was going to ask, and I discreetly gripped the fabric of my pants between my fingers, holding back the sigh that wanted to escape.

“Katsuki… did he, uh, say anything about me?” Her head was slightly lowered, and she wouldn’t meet my eyes for anything. “Just out of curiosity, you know…” She laughed.

I could lie. I could say he talks about other girls too. Or just that he didn’t say anything.

But I’m not that kind of person.

“Yeah, he mentioned a few things…”

“Really?” The way her eyes lit up made me deflate.

“What’d he say?!”

“Oh…” I let out a weak nasal laugh. “I can’t tell you that, sorry.”

“Aw, come on,” she pouted playfully, but then smiled. “Fine, fine, I get it. But was it good stuff?”

Stop looking at me so hopefully, Uraraka.

I can feel how excited you are. Happy.

I can’t blame you.

I can only envy you.

And feel even worse for envying you.

“I think so…”

“Wow, what a vague answer,” she laughed. “What do you mean? Either he said good stuff or he didn’t—there’s no ‘I think’ about it.”

“Sorry, it’s just…” I looked away. “I guess I wasn’t paying much attention, so…”

I won’t do anything to sabotage them.

But I’m not going to help either.

“Hm.” I could tell she was frustrated that she couldn’t pry the info she wanted out of me. “You know, Izuku… I can trust you, right?”

I looked at her.

“You’re not going to tell Katsuki any of this, are you?”

Ochako gave me a wary, almost scared look.

“No. I won’t. I told you, I mean it. Secrets don’t get spilled.”

She gave a small, satisfied smile.

“Well, it’s just… wow, I can’t believe I’m about to tell this to his best friend…” She laughed, glancing away to watch Katsuki sink yet another shot, oblivious to us. “But I trust you. We’ve shared so much already, right?” She shot me a quick smile before her gaze settled back on the captain, and she let out a sigh—that “I’m totally in love with you” sigh. “It’s just… well, um… I’ve liked him since sixth grade, you know?”

My eyes widened completely.

“Back then, he was the main topic among my friends and me. I’d just started at the school, and within a week, I was totally smitten with him,” she laughed, probably lost in memories. “It’s silly, right? How kids fall in love so easily… the problem is, the feeling stuck around.”

My chest tightened so much I worried the stomachache I’d lied about earlier might actually kick in.

“Now that he seems into me… God, it feels like a dream,” she said. When she looked at me again, maybe she noticed my wide-eyed stare, because her smile faltered. “I-I mean… I know I’m not anything special, he’s probably been with tons of girls… but just the fact that he’s with me, even if he doesn’t feel the same, makes me so happy.”

That hit me hard, for real.

Because, in the end, Heather isn’t the confident girl everyone imagines either.

Right then, I realized her feelings for him are as pure as mine. Maybe even more so.

I started at this school in eighth grade and met Katsuki in our first year. Now we’re at the start of our third year, so it’s been a little over a year since I fell for him.

Uraraka’s been in love with him for six years.

How could I compete with that?

In the end, she’s like me. She wants him just as desperately as I do.

It was easier to be mad when I didn’t know any of this, but now…

I just feel like it’s not fair for me to feel this way.

It’s not fair for me to feel so awful, like I’m the one hit hardest by all this.

How could I think my feelings were so special?

She’s liked him for six damn years. Six years—without even talking to him once.

And there’s probably a dozen more people like us, completely gone for Bakugo Katsuki.

The empathy I felt for her made me mad at myself. Mad because, in a way, I saw that this really was how it was meant to be. Uraraka deserved to be with him—I couldn’t be jealous of something so genuine.

I lowered my head.

“Wow, that… must’ve been tough,” was all I could say to break the awkward silence.

“Yeah, it was… but it’s okay now,” she smiled. “I’m lucky. There are so many gorgeous girls throwing themselves at him, and—”

“But you’re gorgeous too.”

The words slipped out before I could think too hard about them. I just felt like I had to say it.

Her wide eyes locked onto mine.

I swallowed hard, looking away.

“It’s not luck. Like you said, he can have anyone he wants… if he’s with you now, it’s not because of luck. It’s because you’re special.”

With every word I said, her smile grew, her cheeks flushed brighter, and my heart crumbled.

“Thank you, Izuku. Really.”

Yeah, she’s special.

That’s the worst part.

Because I’m not even a third of what she is.

They really do deserve each other.

Chapter Text

[Izuku]: Wanna come over to my place on Saturday?

[Izuku]: I found a super good Korean recipe online, I wanna try making it *-*

[Kacchan]: here comes the k-pop meltdown lololololol

[Kacchan]: u cook like shit deku  

[Izuku]: That’s exactly why I need u to be my guinea pig, Kacchan

[Kacchan]: i’d love to get food poisoning but

[Kacchan]: that exhibit u mentioned is this saturday

[Kacchan]: going with uraraka  

My fingers trembled, frozen over my phone’s keyboard.

I wanted to type something, but I didn’t know what. Everything I thought of saying felt way too forced. It was like, no matter what I sent or how casual I tried to play it, he’d somehow pick up on the real feelings underneath.

The anguish, the tightness in my chest, the disappointment.

I pressed my lips together, a cold knot twisting my insides without my permission.

That little online under Kacchan’s contact was giving me anxiety. I felt pressured to say something before it looked like I was upset, but even more because it made me imagine him chatting with Ochako right that second.

It probably wasn’t a coincidence that he was taking a little longer to reply even though he was online.

All I wanted was simple. I wanted to take a scalding hot shower to melt the ice forming in my stomach, scream at the top of my lungs while the sound of the water drowned me out, and—most of all—hurl my phone down the drain so I wouldn’t have to deal with this crap or see that infuriating online in Kacchan’s chat anymore.

Instead of doing any of that, I just sank deeper into my mattress, burying my face in the pillow and, with lazy, sluggish fingers, typed:

[Izuku]: Grr

[Izuku]: Can’t believe ur passing up the chance to see me set the kitchen on fire smh  

He was online, but he didn’t read it right away.

Maybe he didn’t even notice the five long minutes it took me to reply.

Maybe those five minutes only felt eternal in my head.

[Kacchan]: i’ll swing by monday  

That was all he said.

I hated how that message sounded. Almost like a half-hearted whatever, you’re not doing anything Monday anyway. I hated how it felt like he’d only come over out of some sense of duty, not because he actually wanted to. If he’d said that under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have cared—honestly, if I stopped to think about it with a clear head, he hadn’t even said anything that bad.

But these weren’t normal circumstances.

Why not come over Sunday? Are you planning to spend Sunday with her too? Doing what? After the exhibit, are you sleeping over at her place, or is she staying at yours? Are you guys going out to eat, or are you cooking for her?

A bunch of questions with no answers.

But for the most important one, I already had a response.

Yes. He definitely wants something serious with her.

I started imagining what he’d have said if I were her. I pictured the little blue read arrow lighting up instantly. I pictured how hard he’d try to keep the conversation going, how excited he’d be to see her as soon as possible. If I were her…

Because she’d never get a “I’ll swing by Monday.”

I furrowed my brow, clenching my lips tight.

With my fingers shaking from anger, I typed my last message:

[Izuku]: Got other stuff to do Monday  

And I turned off my phone.

~*~

It’d been a week since that day.

A week where I’ve felt like there’s no room left for me in Bakugo Katsuki’s life.

Guess Bakugo finally stopped being a wuss, huh?

That’s the kind of comment I’m forced to hear every time I wander the hallways alone now.

Don’t cry, Izuku. You should’ve known he’d get tired of hairy man ass eventually.

Alone, because now that Kacchan’s busy with his almost-girlfriend, we don’t hang out like we used to, which has made everyone else feel bold enough to come up to me and finally say all the things they’ve always wanted to.

You didn’t actually think you were special, did you?

Maybe he wouldn’t ditch you if you got surgery to swap that useless dick for a pussy.

Those comments don’t hurt me, honestly. I’m just amazed at how people seem to get a kick out of it, how they go about their days like they don’t carry any guilt. Because I know if I ever said stuff like that to someone, I wouldn’t have a single day in my life where I didn’t torment myself over it.

But what really hurts is seeing Katsuki grow more distant from me day by day. And he doesn’t even seem to notice.

I knew this would happen, and I knew it wouldn’t take long, but even so, I wasn’t ready.

I guess you’re never ready to see the person you love with their tongue down someone else’s throat right in front of you.

The first time I saw it was at the start of the week, on Monday. Who knows what they did on Saturday after the exhibit—I spent the whole weekend without texting him, and surprise, surprise, he didn’t care either; he was too busy. As usual, I was heading to the basketball court after class, and from a distance, I spotted them kissing and laughing near the bleachers while the guys had already started the game without Katsuki. His hand occasionally slid to her thigh, and her hands moved between his arms and his spiky blonde hair.

It was the first time I’d ever seen him kiss someone. The first time he’d kissed a girl at school, out in the open for everyone to see.

I can’t explain what I felt in that moment, and honestly, I don’t want to relive it—because if I do, I’ll feel it all over again.

All I know is I felt blinded, like I’d been staring straight at the sun for too long. My jaw trembled like I was up in the mountains, surrounded by crushing cold. And when the tears came, oddly enough, I felt a weird kind of relief, so I didn’t stop them. My eyes burned so bad that all I wanted was for the water to wash away that agonizing sting.

It was the first time since all this started that I let myself cry.

And I had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last.

The worst part wasn’t even the kiss itself—it was the way he looked at her.

That’s when it hit me.

I realized I didn’t even know how much I liked Kacchan. I used to think it was just a little crush, something harmless…

But no. It’s far from just that.

This is the first time I’ve ever felt this way about someone. The first time I’ve truly liked someone.

They always say your first love is unforgettable…

So would I carry this ache in my chest every day for the rest of my life?

I lowered my head, clutched my backpack tight against my body, spun on my heels, and ran. I ran and ran. I ran so hard I bumped into one or two people, but I didn’t stop, even with the curses they flung at me.

That day, I got a message from Kacchan asking why I wasn’t at his practice. I told him I had other stuff to do and that he couldn’t come over to try that dumb Korean recipe I’d wanted to cook. To not sound too curt, I threw in a random meme, and he just replied with a laugh and an annoying “ok.” I rolled my eyes to hold back the tears, gripping myself hard to keep from smashing my phone against the wall. Instead, I tossed it onto the bed—but so hard it rolled off and crashed onto the floor. Luckily, it didn’t crack, because my anger was so real I might’ve marched over to Katsuki’s place and demanded he buy me a new one.

More than annoying, it’s sad—because now that Kacchan’s busy, I don’t get messages anymore. Besides the occasional texts from my mom asking me to grab something or ones from the art club group chat, the only person I really talk to is Katsuki. I’ve never told him that, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he already knows.

I was shocked by my own reaction, at how fragile I really am. I thought I’d be ready—after all, I always knew I didn’t stand a chance. I never built up any expectations or planned to confess, because I knew it wouldn’t be worth it. I knew he’d end up dating someone eventually…

So why was I crying so much?

And what did I do that Monday when I got home after running the whole way like an idiot? Well, I let out everything I’d been holding in since Saturday, when they went to that exhibit I’d wanted to see so bad. I couldn’t sleep a wink that night, wondering what they were doing and how much I wished I were her.

I wrapped myself in my blankets like a spring roll and bawled my eyes out. I felt so broken inside it scared me—I had no idea I liked him this much. I’d never felt like this any other time he hooked up with a girl; at most, I’d feel uneasy or a little down. But maybe that’s because this time is different. Uraraka’s definitely not just any girl.

I’ve always prided myself on being rational, on keeping my emotions in check. Even knowing I’d never have a shot with Katsuki—not even for a one-night fling—I was okay with that. I was fine just having the little things. I was fine just having him by my side.

But now it’s different.

I feel like if I stay by his side, it’ll destroy me.

I cried so much that Monday that, at some point, I started feeling a literal sharp pain in my chest with every sob that escaped my mouth. I’m not proud to say I spent the whole day crying like a loser, but even though I wanted to scream, I forced myself to keep as quiet as possible—I didn’t want my mom to hear. She knocked on my door twice—and she only knocked because I’d locked it. The first time was to ask if I was okay since I’d gone straight to my room after school. I said I was gaming and tried my hardest to sound normal, which I only pulled off because I wasn’t facing her. The second time was when she called me for dinner, but I pretended I was asleep. I only snuck out at midnight, tiptoeing to grab the plate she’d left for me in the fridge.

I’ve never told my mom I’m gay, but I know she knows, and she knows I know she knows. It’s just been natural, no big talk needed. Still, I don’t plan on telling her about my secret crush on my straight best friend. My own thoughts humiliate me enough—I don’t need her pitying look too. But maybe she already suspects, because even though I’m the type to bottle everything up, I know I’m not great at hiding it.

After that day, Uraraka started tagging along with us everywhere, never leaving our side for a second, and it felt so natural—like she’d always been part of our group. Katsuki walked between us, me on one side, her on the other. For some reason, I felt humiliated. Judging by the mocking smirks thrown my way, it was like everyone knew exactly what was going on—my feelings for my best friend, the most popular guy in school, who was right beside me with his arm draped over someone else’s shoulders, not mine.

Now, Kacchan and I don’t spend breaks in the art room anymore—just the cafeteria, because that’s where Uraraka spends hers. If the cafeteria was already unbearable before, now it’s a nightmare.

Now, he and I don’t get any time alone, because wherever he is, she’s there too.

And no matter how hard he tries to split his attention between us, it doesn’t work. Of course it doesn’t. He likes her, so naturally, he focuses on her more anyway. Plus, her being a chatterbox doesn’t help—my lack of conversation skills automatically sidelines me from any discussion. Every now and then, he’d make a huge effort to pull me into the talk, but it didn’t matter much. I didn’t want to say anything; I just wanted to leave. But I was scared that walking out would look too suspicious or dramatic. What could I even say? Nothing crossed my mind except let go of his hand right now or stop finding excuses to touch his arms all the time. Beyond thoughts like that, I had nothing else I wanted to say. And I realized I’m really not good at hiding how I feel, no matter how hard I try. I’m not the type who can fake smiles for long. If he looked at me for more than five seconds, he might’ve noticed.

They must be happy, right? It’s probably nice to like someone and have them like you back.

I’m a horrible person, aren’t I? I felt for Uraraka when she opened up about her feelings for Katsuki before, but now all I feel is anger. Anger at her smile, her hair, her soft, melodic voice, her cute, gentle laugh. Anger at how perfectly Kacchan’s jacket looks wrapped around her small frame.

He hasn’t lent me his jacket since.

I never wanted to pull away from Kacchan, even though I knew staying close would only keep feeding this one-sided feeling. As pathetic as it sounds, I was okay with that. But now, I feel like I can’t take it anymore.

It was the first time Kacchan paraded around with a girl for everyone to see, and naturally, the school couldn’t stop talking about it—followed by the inevitable jabs about me being a pushover, a “cuck,” whatever. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he asked her to be his girlfriend officially.

I know that, just like when I first caught them kissing, I won’t be ready when that moment comes either. And I’ll probably fall apart, like the weak, pathetic mess I am.

Everything’s happening so fast, and I’m not fast enough to keep up.

I feel like I’m turning into more and more of a burden, someone who’s just there. They’re right, after all. I’m not special. Maybe Katsuki would find it weird if I disappeared, but in the end, he wouldn’t care that much.

I just wanted to die every time she walked across campus with that ear-to-ear grin, and Kacchan would stop mid-sentence with me to stare at her, completely mesmerized.

I just wanted to die every time he threw his arm around her shoulders, leaving mine cold.

I just wanted to die every time they smiled at each other before kissing, every time he lent her his team jacket, and I wanted to kill her for looking so genuinely happy now that she had all his attention to herself.

Katsuki never kissed Uraraka with tongue when I was around—just quick pecks, at most. I knew it was so I wouldn’t feel like a third wheel, which only made me feel worse.

I really am a burden.

We were in the cafeteria, sitting at a table surrounded by people I’d never even seen before.

Kacchan got up and headed to the counter after Ochako mentioned she wanted one of the sweets they were serving.

I sank into my chair, swallowing the urge to snap at her, “What, no legs?”

“Ah, he’s such a prince,” she said just for me to hear, her smile so wide it nearly split her flushed cheeks, her big, sparkling eyes locked on his figure walking to the counter just to grab something she’d said she wanted. I could hear her heart racing, while I could’ve sworn mine wasn’t even beating anymore. “It’s like he stepped out of a movie. Sometimes I think I’m dreaming,” she added with a sweet little giggle. “I didn’t know he was this perfect…”

I looked away, fighting the urge to scoff.

On the rare occasions Katsuki stepped away, leaving just the two of us, she always started in with this same irritating spiel. I knew she didn’t mean any harm—she was just so happy and wanted to share it.

And I just wanted to die.

“You always say that…” Exhausted by all of it, the words slipped out before I could stop them, and I prayed she hadn’t heard.

But of course, I’ve got no luck at all.

“Oh, sorry,” she murmured, embarrassed, tucking that damn strand of hair behind her ear. Even her tiniest gestures irritated me now more than anything. Everything I used to admire about her had turned into reasons for disgust, and that made me angry at myself. It made me feel awful, because she’s not to blame. She’s liked him for six years—she deserves this more than anyone. But here I am, bitter, hating her with everything I’ve got. “It must get annoying, huh? Sorry.”

I knew I had to pull away before I lost who I was, because little by little, I didn’t recognize myself anymore.

I was so emotionally drained it was starting to show in my appearance, and no one seemed to notice. Worse, he didn’t notice.

I felt lower than dirt stomped into the ground.

“No problem,” I replied simply, curt and without looking at her.

The air got heavy, and normally that would’ve made me nervous—normally I’d try to lighten the mood—but I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to be left alone, screw it. The people at the table started chatting with Uraraka, excitedly talking about Katsuki and asking about their relationship, and she answered everything with the biggest grin on her face.

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms and turning my head away.

Bunch of fake-ass people.

What was I even still doing here?

And that’s how it stayed until Katsuki came back, taking his spot between us again.

“Here,” he said, setting the sweet in front of her, his arm soon finding its way back around her chair. She flashed a wide smile, thanked him, and gave him a quick peck before digging in. “I would’ve grabbed something for you, but you said you didn’t want anything,” he said to me.

I just shrugged, staring off at the other side of the cafeteria.

I’d hit my limit. I couldn’t pretend anymore.

All the lively voices around the table were already grating on my nerves.

I started tapping my foot nonstop.

“You okay?” I was caught off guard when Katsuki suddenly leaned in a little to ask quietly. In the whole week, this was the first time he seemed to notice something was off with me. Maybe because, out of all those days, this was the only one where I genuinely had zero patience left.

“Just tired,” I said, my responses still sharp and clipped. I didn’t look at him, because I knew if I did, my eyes wouldn’t be able to lie anymore.

“I know you don’t like eating in the cafeteria. Promise tomorrow we’ll hang out in the art room…”

If you’re bringing her along, don’t even bother.

“It’s not that. I’m just tired.” I didn’t even try to hide my sour expression.

He didn’t say anything else, but even without looking, I could feel his gaze lingering on me.

Suddenly, my heart raced.

Earlier in the week, I’d tried to fake it. But now, I’d just laid all my cards on the table. Still, I’d been calm up until then because I figured no matter how messed up I looked, he’d never notice.

Did he notice?

I let out a relieved sigh when Uraraka called him, gushing about how amazing the sweet was, pulling his attention away. They started talking quieter, and from there, I couldn’t make out anything—especially with the loud chatter from everyone else at the table drowning them out. But the breaking point came when I heard the sound of kisses.

And suddenly, unlike the relief I’d felt moments ago, I wished he had put two brain cells together and realized how broken and wrecked I was. Since I couldn’t have his friendship like before, then let him know everything at once. I had nothing left to lose.

But he acted like he didn’t see how bad I was. He just ignored it. That was the only explanation—or he really didn’t care. I don’t know which is worse.

I glanced around discreetly, catching some people laughing and whispering to each other while looking at me.

My cup, already full, finally overflowed.

I stood up from the table with my lunch tray in hand and went to eat in the art room.

I’d always wondered if he’d notice if I turned and left, and the fear that he’d find it weird had always stopped me from acting on that urge.

But, as I thought…

He didn’t even notice.

[Kacchan]: hey 

[Kacchan]: u disappeared today 

[Kacchan]: something up? 

I saw it on the notification bar but didn’t open it.

I only got those messages later, after the break bell rang and we had to head back to class—luckily, my classroom isn’t the same as Katsuki’s or Uraraka’s, because if I ran into them again, I’d just keep walking.

I turned off my phone and shoved it deep into my backpack.

I sat through the whole class like a statue, staring at my chemistry teacher, but it was a lifeless stare. I must’ve looked like a robot—no expressions, no emotions. Maybe my teacher thought I’d never been so focused on his lesson as I was that day, but he had no idea that what was running through my head had nothing to do with his subject.

The only part that caught my attention, though, was this:

“Being in love is like a drug,” he said, making me raise an eyebrow. “It’s scientifically proven that when we’re in love, we get as addicted to the person we like as if they were a drug we’re taking. The main hormone in love is dopamine, which gets released when you’re with someone you care about. Dopamine makes us euphoric and eager for more contact, so when we’re away from that person, we get sad and dependent—like withdrawal. So, we can conclude that love has the same effect on our brain as a drug.” He smiled as he finished. The students exchanged surprised looks. “Interesting, huh?”

I sighed, looking away.

Yeah, just the kind of info I needed to make my day a thousand times better than it already was.

~*~

Three days had passed.

Three days since I stopped hanging out with Kacchan completely. Three days since I started replying to his messages with short, curt words. Three days since I began avoiding him.

[Kacchan]: where u at?

[Kacchan]: i’m in the cafeteria  

[Izuku]: I’m not going to the cafeteria

[Kacchan]: where are u then?  

I didn’t reply.

For all three of those days, when the break bell rang, I’d head straight to the art room. Alone, I’d hole up there, eating and wasting my paints on random, disjointed scribbles across a blank canvas. I didn’t know what to paint, and I didn’t even feel like painting—I just felt like I’d lose it if I didn’t do something.

Kacchan would send me messages like that, asking why I wasn’t around, but he never actually came looking for me. Clearly something was off with me, and he didn’t dig deeper to find out. Texts like where are you? felt shallow, like he wasn’t really trying to check on me—just asking because he thought he should.

Lost in those irritating thoughts, I jumped when a hand landed on my shoulder.

“Hey,” his rough voice, though quiet, echoed through the empty room.

I sighed, closing my eyes as my heart leapt. I didn’t want to see him, let alone explain myself. I didn’t have the energy to come up with excuses anymore, and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to keep everything bottled up.

“What’re you painting there?”

I got mad. Was he really going to pretend everything was fine?

“Dunno,” I said simply, shrugging. “Just messing around…”

“Hm.” He pulled a chair over and flipped it around, sitting with a leg on each side, his arms resting on the backrest. He was right next to me, way too close, and it made me nervous—but it was a small comfort that he was looking at my canvas and not at me.

That’s when I noticed something odd and glanced around.

“Where’s Uraraka?”

“With her friends in the cafeteria.”

“Hm.” Only then does she peel herself off, I wanted to say. “And why aren’t you with her?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you.”

I held back an eye roll.

I was genuinely upset. It’s not his fault he likes her and wants to be with her, not his fault I feel this way about him, but damn it, I was obviously feeling left out, and he didn’t even seem to miss me. Three days without showing my face, and only now he comes to talk to me in person? Hell, I know it wasn’t on purpose, I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, but it just showed me my presence doesn’t mean that much to him. More than anything, I wasn’t just sad because he’s the guy I like—I was sad as his friend. What am I to him, anyway? I thought we were best friends, but now I’m not sure if I even hold that kind of importance in his life.

Maybe I was too naive to think the popular Bakugo Katsuki would put someone like me on such a high pedestal.

“You’re pissed at me, aren’t you?” he said suddenly. “Don’t say you’re not.”

I sighed, still not looking at him.

My heart started pounding, anxious.

I didn’t know what to say. I was terrified of not being able to filter my words and saying too much, so I chose to say nothing, just kept dragging the brush in random strokes across the canvas.

“Why’d you lie to me?” I narrowed my eyes at that question. “You told me you weren’t into her. Why didn’t you just tell me the truth, damn it? I wouldn’t have gone for her if you’d just been straight with me.”

Was he seriously thinking that’s what this was about?

I laughed out loud, finally dropping the brush and turning to face him—the quick move making my round glasses slip a little down my nose.

You really want the truth, Kacchan?

No, you don’t.

“I’m not into her, you idiot,” I’m into you, you dumbass. “Seriously, you think that’s the problem? You know, Kacchan, not everything’s about girls.”

He frowned.

I let out a mocking laugh.

“I know it might be asking too much for the popular, magnificent Bakugo Katsuki to pay attention to a nobody like me when he’s got a new girlfriend and all—”

“Are you for real, Deku?!” he cut me off, his wide eyes showing how pissed he was at my words. “Damn it, that’s not fair. I did my best to include you in stuff—you’re the one who kept shutting me out.”

“So you’re telling me everything’s still the same between us? That nothing’s changed and I’m just seeing problems where there aren’t any?” My blood was boiling, and my voice was getting louder by the second. I pressed my lips tight, my chest roaring. “She’s always with us! I’m sick of being your third wheel!” And there it was—I snapped. “You only try to include me because you feel like you have to, not because you actually want to talk to me. I feel like a damn tagalong when I’m with you two! We barely talk anymore, in person or over text. Now I’m always alone, getting laughed at by everyone—you have no idea the crap I’ve had to hear this past week!” His eyes widened. “You don’t even care if I’m okay or not! I’ve been completely gone for three days, and only now you come to say something! Damn it, are we best friends or not?! Do you even care how I feel?!”

“Of course I care! I care a fucking lot!” Suddenly, he grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard. My eyes widened. “Deku… damn it, I’m sorry.” I never thought I’d hear Bakugo Katsuki apologize. We’d never really fought before, so we’d never needed to get to this point—but his pride was something everyone knew about. He wouldn’t apologize even if he punched someone’s face in. “I had no idea, honest. I didn’t know you felt like this. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He lowered his head for a second before looking back at me. “You’re… damn it, you’re like a brother to me, man.”

Right then, the air left my lungs.

I looked away.

Fuck… I think I’d rather he demoted me to some random classmate than compare me to that. He could’ve said anything else, but…

Brother?

Fuck.

It crushed me.

“I was a jerk, you’re right. I like you a fucking lot—do you think I’d keep trying to keep you around if I didn’t?” Oh, how I desperately wished that “like” he kept talking about meant something else. “That I’d bother trying to include you? That I’d be here talking to you? If those losers worship me for some damn reason, it’s not because I asked for it—you know I don’t give a shit about any of that crap. If I didn’t want you around, I’d just turn my back and say screw it. I know I’ve sidelined you a bunch of times, but it wasn’t on purpose, believe me. I’m sorry, really. You’re not a tagalong, far from it. This won’t happen again, so please, don’t say that anymore.” I was still too stunned by the “brother” thing to feel even a little happy about everything else he said.

His hand squeezed mine tighter.

I forced a tiny smile, no teeth.

My heart was racing unevenly, the phrase you’re like a brother to me still looping endlessly in my head.

I sighed.

“I… I get your side too, Kacchan,” I gave in, finally lowering my head.

Despite everything, I didn’t think it’d be fair for him to feel guilty about wanting to be with the person he likes. It’s totally understandable that he’d want to spend more time with her than me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t blame Uraraka either—if I were her, I’d cling to him like a sloth on a tree branch too.

In the end, I was just angry and jealous—feelings I’d have to learn to live with and keep to myself, because I had no right to take them out on anyone.

After all, Kacchan didn’t ask me to fall for him.

“I know you didn’t mean it. You like her and all… I get it,” I continued, still not looking at him.

Yeah, that’s the worst part. Because you’re not wrong, Kacchan, you’re not wrong for liking someone. I can’t be mad at you for that, just like I’d hope you wouldn’t be mad at me for liking you. The mistake was mine for falling for someone impossible. It’s not your fault. Or hers. I’ll have to accept that we can’t be the same friends we were before, and worse, I’ll have to deal with the pain of not being able to do anything about it—because that’s life. I can’t fight the tide.

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to get in the way of you two or push her out, because that’s not it…” Yes, I’d love for you to ditch her. But I’d want it to come from you, because you want to, not because I do. “I just…” I let out another sigh, forcing another weak smile and sinking my neck deeper into my shoulders. “Sorry if I was a little dramatic…”

I’m pitiful, aren’t I? I don’t have friends—I just have Katsuki. It’s not his fault I’m some antisocial weirdo who’d rather spend every break cooped up alone in a room than around people. Now that my anger’s faded, I think maybe I was being unfair. Kacchan can’t enjoy his kinda-sorta relationship in peace because he’s stuck splitting his attention between his girlfriend and his lonely best friend. I’m definitely a burden. Uraraka’s probably sick of me too, even if she’s too sweet and kind to say it. He’s my only friend—and the guy I’m into. How miserable is that?

“Cut it out, you’re not dramatic, Deku. Honestly, I’m kinda glad to know you care about me that much… I had no clue,” he said with a lopsided smile, letting out a nasal laugh. I looked up at him, frowning, confused. “I always thought you were so confident, so… I dunno, self-sufficient, I guess? The kind of person who doesn’t need anyone, you know?” Huh? Do I really come off that way to him? I always figured he saw me as some pitiful loner… or was he just saying this to make me feel better? “You’re right, don’t blame yourself. I really screwed up. Sorry for making you think you’re not important to me. You are.”

His other hand reached for my shoulder and squeezed it. I swallowed hard, the warmth of his palm spreading through my skin, making it tingle. My heart raced. God, if a simple touch on my shoulder—through my shirt, no less—did this to me, imagine if it slid lower…? Imagine if there were no clothes in the way? Imagine the havoc that hand could wreak if it crept up my thigh and—

“I shouldn’t have left you on your own. What’d those assholes say to you?”

I let out a forced laugh, embarrassed that I’d let my mind wander like that while the guy I was fantasizing about was right there, watching my every expression. The thought that he might read my mind made me blush.

Stop dreaming, Midoriya. You’re not her.

“You don’t wanna know…”

“Oh, I do. Trust me.”

“It doesn’t matter, does it? It’s over anyway… and I don’t care what people say, don’t worry.”

“Deku, I don’t give a damn if you care or not. I do. Tell me who talked shit to you. Give me names. I’ll beat the crap out of every last one of those bastards.”

I laughed, rolling my eyes to hide how my heart stumbled in my chest.

How do you expect me to stop liking you when you’re like this?

Uraraka’s right—you’re perfect. I don’t blame her for swooning over you in corners and only talking about you when you’re not around.

Just like she’s perfect for you too. She waited six years for you, even without any promise she’d ever have you. If she were in my shoes, she wouldn’t crumble under ugly feelings like anger, envy, and jealousy. She wouldn’t act like me. She’d probably be happy for me.

Every time I pathetically compare myself to her, I lose. Because she’s like an angel: untouchable.

And I think it’s about time I accept that—accept that she’s going to be your girlfriend now, and that I really can’t expect you to give me the same attention you give her. It’s sad because, despite your comforting words, I know we’ll drift apart sooner or later, Kacchan. It’s not something you or I can control. Because I can’t keep staying by your side like this.

“You’d have to beat up the whole school, then,” I shot back, laughing.

“I’d do it and put collars on them, make ‘em bark.”

We laughed at that déjà vu.

“But seriously, Deku, don’t give a damn about those filthy worms. They’re a bunch of shitty losers, all dumbasses who can’t even add two plus two,” he said, and I laughed, though his serious face didn’t show any hint of joking. “They’re all fucking assholes. If I could, I’d blow their heads off. You’re awesome, man.” For the first time, I managed a real, goofy smile. God, why couldn’t you be one of those fragile-masculinity straight guys? It’d be so much easier… “I mean it. Just point the finger, and I’ll take down every last one who messed with you. It pisses me off because I know I’m partly to blame for this crap. If I’d been with you, this wouldn’t have—”

I couldn’t help it when my hand moved on its own, landing gently on his cheek. It was warm.

His eyes widened slightly.

“It’s not your fault. You’re not my bodyguard, you know?” I laughed, grinning like an idiot at all that protectiveness, but then it hit me—he only acts like this because he sees me as a little brother who needs looking after. My smile faltered, but I forced it to stay. “It’s fine, really.”

A little hesitant about how he’d react, I started brushing his cheek lightly. My other hand, resting in my lap, was still gripped by his right, while his left squeezed my shoulder.

After five seconds, the awkwardness of the moment sank in, but neither of us reacted—just kept staring at each other in this damn tense, weird silence.

He’d never felt so close to me as he did right then, and I almost forgot he’d said I was like a brother to him. The bright sunlight bounced off his spiky hair, making the blonde glow even more. His red eyes were like two shimmering fireballs, locked on me, fooling me into feeling like I was the only person in the world. More than anything, I wanted to lean forward and kiss him. His hands touching me like that, even if it was so innocent and friendly, made my body tingle and my mind wander far.

Until the door swung open, startling us both.

“Oh, Katsuki! Finally found you—”

The girl cut herself off, her eyes flickering between us, a bit confused. We yanked our hands back fast.

She flashed a cute smile.

“Am I interrupting something…?” she said with a giggle.

“Yeah, I was about to kiss Deku—you totally ruined the mood, you know?” Kacchan joked, and she laughed. I forced a laugh too, hoping they wouldn’t notice how my cheeks burned at words that mirrored exactly what I’d been thinking. “We were just sorting some stuff out,” he clarified, looking at her with a small smile.

“Oh, got it.” She smiled, but I caught something… I don’t know, off about her expression? Maybe it was just my imagination. “You guys done?”

Kacchan thought for a second before answering:

“I’ll stay a bit long—”

“We’re done, yeah,” I cut him off, and he shot me a confused look. I turned from her to smile at him, trying to reassure him. “It’s cool, you can go.”

He stayed quiet, just staring at me, like he wasn’t sure what to do.

“It’s fine, I’m painting, and break’s almost over anyway… go ahead. Don’t worry,” I murmured so only he could hear. The art room’s big, and Uraraka was by the door, far enough not to catch it.

“For real?”

“For real.”

He kept looking at me for a few more seconds before giving a small, toothless smile. What caught me off guard, though, was the quick peck he planted on my cheek before standing up.

I won’t lie—I blushed hard. If my cheeks were warm before, now they could fry an egg.

Uraraka grinned wide at Katsuki as he walked over to her. They both waved at me, and just before they left the room, with their backs turned, Ochako glanced over her shoulder and flashed me a huge smile, her eyes squinting into little lines.

I gave her a weak smile back.

Sighing, I picked up my brush and turned back to my canvas, but my talk with Katsuki was still fresh in my mind.

I did feel lighter, honestly. That weight and anger from before were gone. But now, a different kind of weight settled over me.

The weight of reality.

It’s past time I put myself in my place.

He’s with Uraraka. He likes her. I can’t expect our friendship to stay the same as it was. Anyone who starts dating naturally gives less attention to their friends—that’s just how it works, it’s normal. That’s life.

I have to accept reality and find other things to fill my time. I can’t expect Kacchan to have as much time for me as he used to.

I don’t want to lose his friendship, but I definitely can’t keep relying on it alone, or I’ll lose my mind.

I need to meet other people. And with time, my feelings for him will fade.

[Kacchan]: gonna walk uraraka home

[Kacchan]: but i’ll swing by your place later, cool?  

I got those messages the second the end-of-day bell rang.

Everyone tossed their stuff into their bags haphazardly and rushed out, buzzing with excitement.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder, one hand holding my phone while the other adjusted my round black-framed glasses on my nose. The teacher wished us a good afternoon and left.

I started typing as I walked through the halls with the other students toward the exit.

[Izuku]: No need

[Izuku]: Stay with her, Kacchan  

I really don’t want to be a burden or get treated like some pity case begging for attention.

[Izuku]: I’m good, seriously

[Kacchan]: shut up kid

[Kacchan]: i wanna eat that korean slop u talked about

[Kacchan]: can’t wait to leave your place with the runs tonight  

I laughed out loud.

God, why do you do this to me?

[Izuku]: I don’t cook that bad, you jerk!!!!

[Kacchan]: lololololol poor thing

“Laughing so you don’t cry, greenie?” some random guy said as he passed me, chuckling with his little group. I recognized their faces, even if I didn’t know their names. They always had something to say when I walked by.

My face dropped instantly. I shoved my phone into my backpack and didn’t give them any attention, just ignored them and kept walking.

“We just saw Katsuki all over some hot short girl back there,” he went on. “Tell us, how’s it feel to get replaced, huh?”

“If I got ditched for Katsuki, I’d be wrecked,” one of the girls chimed in, making her friends laugh. “Hey, is it true he’s got a big dick?”

“A big dick’s hard to forget,” another jabbed.

“Oh, greenie, what’d you expect? That you’d stay Bakugo’s favorite forever? That you’d keep rubbing it in everyone’s faces…?” Even without looking, I could hear the smug grin in the long-haired blonde girl’s voice. “You’re not a girl, you moron.”

I pressed my lips tight.

“And now you’re all alone. What a shame. Try giving it up to Kirishima now—he’s pretty popular too! That’s the only way anyone’ll notice you.”

And they, along with a few other students nearby who’d overheard, burst into laughter.

Sometimes I wanted nothing more than to snap back, but I knew it wouldn’t be worth it. I’d just stress myself out and give them more fuel for their nonsense.

I sighed, picking up my pace and gripping my backpack strap tighter.

“Good luck jerking off with a thirty-centimeter vibrator, greenie! Hasta la vista!”

Clutching the straps so hard it hurt, nearly running with how fast I was walking, I let out a breath as I passed through UA’s massive gates.

I swear I don’t care about those comments. I never have…

So why did I start crying right then?

~*~

It was almost 6 p.m. when Kacchan sent me a message: open the door, nerd, I’m outside.

I don’t know what shook me up so much earlier. I’ve never cared or let myself get affected by the crap other people say. But I think that crying was the result of a buildup of feelings rooted deep inside me—stuff that’s been wearing me down day after day. Hearing all that today was… I guess it was the breaking point.

That’s why, before going home, I took a walk around a nearby park to calm down. I didn’t want my mom to see me with a swollen face and red eyes.

And I wouldn’t even dream of bringing it up with Kacchan. I already felt humiliated enough—I’d feel even worse if I had to lean on him to fix all my problems.

I hate this feeling of helplessness, this sense of being…

Useless.

“So, how’s it going with her? Everything good?” We’d been quiet for a solid five minutes when I brought it up casually—or at least, that’s what I tried to project on the outside. I grabbed pots and utensils from the kitchen cabinet, setting them out on the counter and sorting the ingredients while Kacchan fiddled with his phone.

We’d made some small talk when he first got here. I’d mentioned my mom wasn’t home, that she’d gone out with some guy she met on a dating app, and he’d cracked a joke about not pegging her as the type for that. Then he asked if I’d finished Ori and the Blind Forest, and after chatting a bit about some levels, we fell into dead silence. That’s when he pulled out his phone.

To him, the silence was probably comfortable. To me, it was unbearably suffocating.

And I didn’t need a genius IQ to guess he was texting her, judging by the little smirk tugging at his lips.

I sighed.

“Kacchan?”

When I glanced over my shoulder at him, he locked his phone screen and set it on the table.

“Oh, all good,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant—and he might’ve pulled it off if I didn’t know him well enough to catch that he’s not the type to grin at his phone like he was just seconds ago. “Sorry, she’s asking me for help with some math problems. What’re you cooking there?”

Math?

As far as I knew, Uraraka’s always been good at math and calculations in general. We studied together in the art room once, and I remember being impressed by how fast she solved problems.

But, well, that was a while ago… maybe she’s struggling with the new material.

I grabbed a pan to make the eggs.

“Bibimbap,” I answered, feeling almost like a MasterChef. I’d even looked up the pronunciation on Google Translate to get it right.

“What’s that? Bambi?”

I burst out laughing.

“No clue, man. It looked good in the pics online,” I shrugged. “Think you’ll like it.”

“Yeah, sure. Just so you know, I’m putting my life in your hands here.”

I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“Idiot.”

After heating up the rice I’d already prepped, I started on the meat. And that awkward silence from before crept back in.

When I snuck another sideways glance at Kacchan, though, he had his phone in hand again. And he was smiling.

Doesn’t he get that being here with me but texting her is just as uncomfortable as third-wheeling in person? It’s just as frustrating.

I huffed, deliberately banging the wooden spoon against the pan to make a loud noise and grab his attention.

“So things are getting serious, huh?” Maybe I accidentally let a bit of jealousy slip into my tone, so I cleared my throat to pull myself together. I was getting annoyed again, shoving all those I should be understanding thoughts right out the window. “I’ve never seen you this into a girl before,” I said, softer this time.

Cooking kept me busy, which was perfect for bringing this up—I had an excuse not to look at him. I could scowl all I wanted since I was facing away, standing at the stove while he sat at the table behind me.

“Hm…” His thoughtful pause made me anxious. I started stirring the spoon faster in the pan. “Yeah, I guess so.” I turned briefly to flash him a forced smile, seeing him leaning back in the chair, broad shoulders relaxed against the backrest. “I think she’s… I dunno.” He laughed, staring at the wall with a look that made it obvious what—or who—was on his mind. I pressed my lips tight. Will anyone ever have that spark in their eyes thinking about me? “Saying this is kinda sappy and cliché as hell, but… I dunno. I think she’s different from other girls.”

I took a deep breath to stop myself from grabbing the pan and chucking it at his face.

“Who’d have thought, huh?” I tried to sound playful, even though my hands and legs were shaking. “Someone’s finally snagged your little heart.”

He laughed but didn’t reply. His attention drifted back to that damn phone.

I wanted to yell go fuck yourself just to see if that’d make me seem even slightly interesting to him.

“Yeah, maybe…” he mumbled.

The second I turned back to the stove, I rolled my eyes so hard behind my lids I barely recognized myself. I was trembling with anger.

“So I can assume you’re officially head over heels.”

“Go screw yourself, damn it. Annoying-ass nerd,” he laughed, probably embarrassed.

But he didn’t deny it.

I pressed my lips tight, my chest aching like someone was pounding a drum inside me, the beat growing louder and louder until it shook every inch of my body.

Talking about her hurts me, but I can’t stop myself. Maybe it’s some masochistic urge, but I want to know exactly what he’s thinking—every tiny, insignificant detail, even the most embarrassing ones. I want to know if he thinks her kisses are good, if his heart races when she touches him, even if her ass feels nice to grab. I want to know if his chest warms up, if his skin tingles when her hand brushes him, the way mine does when he touches me. I don’t want to know anything, but I want to know everything. It’s this irritating, agonizing feeling I don’t understand, eating away at me like a virus. And even though I know I couldn’t handle the answers maturely, I still want them. It’s just raw curiosity mixed with jealousy and anguish, because somehow, I feel like knowing all this would ease me. Maybe it’d kill off that tiny, almost nonexistent sliver of hope still lingering inside me without me even realizing it.

“You planning to ask her out officially, Kacchan?”

“We’ll see.”

I hated his vague answers.

“And have you guys…” I shot him a quick glance over my shoulder. He raised an eyebrow at me, finally pocketing that infernal device. I swallowed hard, turning back to the pan. “H-have you…”

“Fucked, nerd?”

I blushed at his laugh.

My lack of response was answer enough.

“Nah, we haven’t. She said she’s a virgin, scared it’ll hurt and stuff, you know…” I had to fight hard not to let out a massive sigh of relief. I don’t know why that made me feel so relieved—they’d do it eventually anyway, it was just a matter of time. I was surprised, though; I’d been dead sure they’d already gone at it a million times in every position imaginable.

“You must be eager.”

“What? To fuck?” He let out a mocking nasal laugh, talking so casually without a clue how fast my heart was pounding. “I’m not some sex-crazed lunatic, broccoli head.”

“As if a guy like you would even need to be desperate to get laid…”

“You desperate, nerd?” he asked in that naturally husky voice that could melt an ice cube.

My hand froze over the spoon stirring the pan, cold sweat trickling down my temple.

My legs wobbled, and I cleared my throat.

“It’s not about being desperate,” I said, leaving the pan to simmer and turning to the counter—facing Katsuki now, though I didn’t look at him. I started chopping veggies. “It’s just… if I were with someone I liked, I’d be excited to do it.” Shit. My hands were shaking. “That’s what I meant.”

“And who do you like, Deku?”

Now, face-to-face with him, I couldn’t hide my flushed cheeks. But I played it off with a laugh, my eyes glued to the unsteady, amateur movements of the knife in my hand.

“H-hypothetically speaking, I mean. If I liked someone. That’s all.”

“It’s not like I don’t want to…” He laughed. “I want it bad. But I’m not climbing the walls or anything. I’m chill.”

Bakugo Katsuki is definitely not like other eighteen-year-olds.

So we concluded he’s probably an alien.

“Got it. That’s good.”

“Need help there?”

He got up before I could even answer, stepping beside me and taking the knife from my hand, claiming the cutting board and veggies for himself. He showed off, twirling the long silver knife between his fingers in an impressive move, throwing me a playful wink. I laughed.

“Hey, no need to flex how badass you are, oh great Bakugo Katsuki! Step aside, I’m cooking tonight!”

“I can’t watch you chop all this crap at that snail’s pace—it’s driving me nuts!” he said, then started slicing like a pro chef. Kacchan’s not just captivating, a perfect student, an amazing athlete, great at video games, with a face and body that’d make anyone drop to their knees—he’s also a damn good cook, as if that wasn’t enough.

Didn’t I say it? He’s too perfect to be from this planet.

In less than five seconds, he’d diced an entire carrot into tiny cubes, moving on to the next. His arm muscles flexed with every motion.

I had to stop myself from sighing.

Seriously, why’s he such a man?

It’s not fair. I hate it.

“Kacchan, you’re always the one cooking—let me do it this time, damn it! I’m not useless, you know!” I tried to snatch the knife back, but the jerk held it up high. Even jumping, I couldn’t reach it—he’s a good few inches taller than me. I huffed, giving up in less than five seconds, crossing my arms and glaring at him with a scowl. “You’re ridiculous. Seriously.”

Not only does he humiliate me in my own kitchen, he rubs it in that I’m a garden gnome next to him.

“I’m not cooking, I’m just speeding things up, you dumb nerd,” he said, flicking my forehead with his free hand, laughing at my pouty face. “At this slug pace, we won’t make it to the party.”

“Party?” I frowned. “What party?”

“Some girl from first year invited me, I dunno. Shitty Hair said the whole school’s going.”

“She invited you, not me.”

“So what, damn it? If I’m going, you’re going. You’re the only one who’d keep me from bailing on a place like that after fifteen minutes.”

And I hate how he unintentionally messes with me like that, warming my heart with words that don’t really mean anything to him.

I wanted to punch that gorgeous face of his.

I sighed, turning my back to Katsuki and returning to my spot by the stove.

“You don’t even like parties, Kacchan. Or crowded places.”

“Yeah, but it’s been a while since we hung out. And who knows, maybe you’ll hit it off with some girl, huh? I can smell your virginity from here.”

Oh, now it clicked.

My shoulders slumped automatically.

So I really am a burden to him.

He’s actually trying to get rid of me…

If my heart had flickered with any warmth before, it withered completely now.

Maybe he didn’t even want to come over, just did it because of my little meltdown at school earlier. Probably felt guilty and, out of consideration, didn’t want me to stay upset.

So this wasn’t a “I’ll hang out with my friend” thing.

It was more like “I’ll do my good deed of the day.”

I swallowed hard, my hands trembling.

There’d been this anguish trapped in my chest all day—sometimes it hit hard, sometimes it quieted down, but it was always there.

Right then, though, it broke free and took over my whole body.

I took a deep breath, trying to shove it back down.

We stayed quiet for a bit, and when I glanced back slightly, he’d finished chopping and was leaning his hip against the counter, red eyes back on his phone screen, fingers typing to you-know-who. And he had that little smile again.

“She sent you a kiss,” he said.

“Send one back,” I replied, my voice sounding as flat as it felt to me—hopefully just to me. “Just the eggs left now…” I added, only because I needed to say something.

“Cool, need help?”

“No, I’m finishing up.”

He set the phone aside and started setting the table, clearing the mess and tidying everything. Despite it all, at least he cared enough to help.

I tossed some spices into the pan, stirring while Kacchan sat back down after wiping the tablecloth, the only sounds in the room the sizzle of frying eggs and his typing. I sighed, those gloomy thoughts from earlier crashing back full force.

God, I’d never sighed so much in one day. I’d lost count.

“Don’t you think she’s… I dunno, upset with me or something?” I asked hesitantly, adjusting my glasses. Even though I couldn’t see him right then, I was sure he’d furrowed his brow in confusion, judging by the seconds of silence that followed.

“Who? Uraraka?”

“Yeah, who else?”

“Why would she be?”

I shrugged.

“Dunno… put yourself in her shoes. It’s gotta be kinda annoying to split your attention with me, I mean… you’d be with her right now if it weren’t for me.”

“Man, chill out. We’re not gonna die if we’re apart for a bit, right?” He laughed. “I bet she’s fine with it.”

That’s because you don’t get how someone who’s been in love for six years thinks, Kacchan.

“I’m not just talking about today—school too… since I’m always around you guys and stuff…”

If the situation sucked for me, imagine how it must feel for her? I definitely don’t want to be seen as a burden, someone they have to put up with because they know I’ve got no one else to hang out with.

“She doesn’t mind, relax. You guys are friends, aren’t you?”

“Yeah… I guess so.” I turned off the stove and took off my apron, finally facing him. “So when are you gonna ask her out?” He pocketed his phone and raised an eyebrow at me.

“The day you let me tap your ass, nerd. Seriously, you’ve been weird lately. You sure you’re not into her?”

“God, it’s just curiosity, jeez!”

“Since when are you this curious?” He pulled out a chair for me. He tried to hide it, but I caught the faint flush on his cheeks. I lowered my head. “C’mon, sit. Let’s eat.”

“Okay…”

After setting up our bowls, I sat next to him and waited for his verdict, eyes wide with pure anxiety and anticipation.

After his first bite, he stopped, dropped his chopsticks, scrunched his face hard, clapped a hand over his mouth, and let out a gagging sound from deep in his throat, twisting his expression into a terrifying grimace of disgust. Just as I was about to bolt for a bucket so he could puke, he threw his head back and burst out laughing.

I huffed, smacking his shoulder hard.

“Oh my God! You’re such an idiot!” I exclaimed. “Man, I almost had a heart attack…”

“It’s really good, nerd. Seriously,” he said between laughs, digging back in with gusto. “Best science experiment I’ve ever tasted. Glad I got to be your guinea pig.”

I laughed, rolling my eyes. I grabbed my chopsticks and started eating, closing my eyes and letting out a delighted hum, genuinely happy I’d finally made something decent.

“It is really good!” I agreed. Finally cooked something that won’t give anyone a stomachache… I hope!

“Well, yeah, with my help…”

I smacked his shoulder again, and he laughed.

“What’d she even see in you, huh? Jerk!”

He shrugged, flashing that gorgeous smile.

His smiles aren’t the cute or huge kind—not like Uraraka’s. They’re mysterious, laced with a hint of mockery, sarcasm, and something raw, almost like they’re saying, Yeah, I’ll break your heart into a million pieces, even without meaning to. It’s not an angel’s gentle smile—it’s a demon’s amused grin. The kind that, paired with his sharp, rough gaze, makes you ache to be torn apart.

No wonder everyone falls for him so easily. There’s something about Kacchan that stirs things deep in your core you never even knew you could feel.

His hands. I never thought of myself as a pervert, but those hands turned me into one. Big, rough hands with thick fingers and prominent veins. I’ve always loved how they’d hang carelessly over my shoulders when he’d sling his strong arm around me. That’s where my downfall started. I fell for every part of him bit by bit until I surrendered to all of him.

I love his eyes, the way they naturally seem to want to devour you alive. It’s not planned or calculated—the red in them just is that way, intense and raw, like every inch of his body, like his husky, thick, torn-up voice barking curses at his teammates across the court.

I love how he knows exactly the effect he has on people, even if he doesn’t act like it. I hate and love how he’s good at everything all the time. I love how he doesn’t care about anything or anyone, how he’s confident about everything and anything. I love how unpredictable he is, doing whatever he wants whenever he wants, fearless. I love how he seems ready to take on the world, even with just eighteen years on his back. I love how he’s so opposite to me, how all his traits fill in the gaps where mine fall short.

I love how someone like him saw something in someone like me when no one else did—not even me.

He’s a little bit of everything I wish I could be and have.

Oh, I know exactly what she saw in you, Kacchan.

While we ate, we talked about the latest games on Steam. I mentioned a new horror game everyone’s saying is way scarier than anything else out there. He suggested we play it together sometime and bet on who’d freak out first—I only wagered fifty cents because I knew I’d lose; he laughed.

Besides games, we reminisced about some moments, like the basketball championship finals. The image of Kacchan laughing, hoisted up by the team with the trophy in his arms, didn’t leave my head for a whole month. That day was incredible.

We cracked up remembering how wild UA’s mascot got that night—losing it and chucking a huge beer cup at some guy in the stands cheering for the other team and cussing ours out like crazy. I’ll admit, I thought the guy deserved it. It was total chaos—the game had to pause, and everyone pissed themselves laughing as those two rolled around trading punches on the field. Man, it was epic. After the game, we hit the bar with everyone and drank our asses off—my first time getting wasted, actually. Of course, Kacchan didn’t miss the chance to tease me about it, mimicking me in the most exaggerated, humiliating way.

“I didn’t do that!” I yelled, indignant at his accusation.

“Oh, you didn’t?” Proving me wrong, he whipped out his phone and showed me the pic: me, hair a mess, sprawled on the sidewalk, passed out hugging a panda statue and drooling—Kacchan said I was snoring too!

I blushed like crazy at that photo I didn’t even know existed, smacking him for laughing at my misery instead of helping me, but I couldn’t help getting caught up in his laughter, giggling too, even though I was still mortified.

“God, why’d you never show me this?” By then, our bowls were empty, and our stomachs were full. “This is so embarrassing, help…”

“Because I was scared you’d snag my phone and delete it, but I couldn’t resist showing you now,” he laughed. “This pic’s the treasure of my gallery.”

He really needs to stop messing with my head like that.

I tried to hold back a goofy smile.

“I can’t believe you let me do something that humiliating…” I covered my face with my hands, turning even redder just imagining the people walking by who saw that awful scene. I couldn’t help laughing. “You asshole!”

“Man, I had to carry you on my back the whole way to your place. Consider this pic my reward, alright?”

We cracked up.

I knew about that part—he’d told me when I woke up the next morning in my bed with him beside me, saying he was too wiped out to head home. Sleeping over at each other’s places wasn’t anything new for us.

God, what a shame I was out cold for that. I’d kill to remember how it felt to be pressed against his back as he carried me home, my arms around his neck, his hands gripping my thighs while his mouth probably grumbled about how heavy I was…

All I had left was my imagination, and I blushed every time I let it run.

“Must’ve been tough. I’m heavy, huh?”

“Heavy?” He clicked his tongue, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Yeah, sure. It was torture. You’re as heavy as a puppy.”

I smacked his shoulder again, and he—vein popping on his forehead but not hitting back—asked if I was trying to dislocate it with all the smacking. I laughed hard.

You know, we talked about silly stuff, but we were genuinely laughing and having fun like we hadn’t in a while. I know it didn’t mean the same to him as it did to me, but that’s okay.

And since then, he hadn’t touched his phone again.

I was happy because, for a moment, I almost forgot there was a Heather out there.

~*~

“I have no idea what to wear, Kacchan,” I muttered, chewing my bottom lip as I stared into my closet. I’d just gotten out of the shower, a towel wrapped around my hips, while Kacchan sat on the edge of my bed, messing with his phone. I’d had a nagging feeling ever since he mentioned the party, but I was scared to ask and come off wrong. Now, though, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Hey… just so I know, is Uraraka going too…?”

“Nah, I didn’t invite her,” he replied casually, slipping his phone into his pocket. He was sticking with the same outfit he’d shown up in: black pants, a gray V-neck shirt, and now the black leather jacket he’d tossed on the living room couch when he arrived.

I was surprised by his answer, but before I could let myself feel happy, guilt kicked in.

“Invite her, Kacchan. It’s fine, I won’t get upset.” Even as I said it, I knew if he did, I’d ditch that damn party in a heartbeat.

I wasn’t exactly thrilled about going anyway—parties aren’t my thing, and I didn’t want to be stuck in a place full of people I don’t like who don’t like me either. But the idea of hanging out with Kacchan got me excited despite all that. If she went, though, I’d come up with some excuse—like a stomachache—to stay home. Seriously, third-wheeling at school is tolerable because you can’t really escape it there, but at a party? Choosing to go just to tag along? No way.

“Deku, shut up and get dressed, alright?”

“What if she finds out you went to a party without her? She’d think it’s weird at the very least.”

“She already knows—I told her over text,” he said, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbows on the mattress. That shirt hugged his muscles just right, and I nearly couldn’t stop my eyes from drifting down his body. “It’s all good, Deku, chill. I wanna hang out with you too, and she gets that. We’re going out tomorrow after class anyway, and she’s studying now—she couldn’t come even if she wanted to. It’s not like I’m hitting up a strip club or something, damn it.”

I nodded. When I turned back to my closet, I couldn’t stop the little smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

Why was I smiling, anyway?

For a second, I forgot he was only doing this out of pity.

I grabbed a random pair of rocket-patterned boxers.

“Oh, come on,” Kacchan laughed. I shot him a confused frown, not getting it. “Now I see why you’re still a virgin, nerd.”

I rolled my eyes at the jab but played along.

“What, just now? I thought it was pretty obvious from my face alone.”

“Why?” His expression suddenly turned serious, genuinely puzzled.

I let out a nasal laugh.

“Why what?”

“I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get, Kacchan?” I said, laughing with a raised eyebrow. “You’re the one who says it—I’ve got total nerd face. I’m not attractive.”

“Bullshit, since when does nerd face mean ugly?”

I froze. What was he getting at? He wasn’t calling me good-looking, was he?

I blushed, staring at him like I was waiting for something, and he stared back.

Finally, he dipped his head a bit and shook it with a nasal chuckle, sending shivers through me as he stood up and walked over.

With every step—confident, relaxed—my legs trembled in a new way.

Suddenly, he stopped right in front of me, so close I became hyper-aware of our height difference. I swallowed hard, abruptly feeling the urge to cover my bare chest, even though half-nakedness wasn’t new between us—though every chance I’d had to see Katsuki fully naked, shame always made me look away.

He reached for my face, and my heart raced.

Kacchan let out an amused laugh when I instinctively flinched.

“I’m not gonna bite, you know,” he teased, and though he meant to put me at ease, something in his voice made me shiver.

“I-I know, it’s just…” With my head still slightly down, I flicked my eyes up at him, totally flustered. Shit, why was I acting like this? Like some shoujo anime girl from the shows Kacchan and I watched? Could I be any less straight? “I need to get dre—”

My eyes widened as his fingers gently grabbed the frame of my round glasses—I’d put them on in the bathroom—and my heart stumbled when he slowly pulled them off my face.

“K-Kacchan, wait…” I blinked, my vision blurring instantly without them. “Hey, give ‘em back. I can’t see anything.” I squinted hard, and after a few seconds, my eyes adjusted enough to make out Kacchan. Without my glasses, I can only see stuff within two meters—everything else is a hazy mess. “Not funny, jerk.”

That’s when I noticed he was staring at me intently, and I froze.

A crooked smile spread across his lips.

“I knew your eyes were green, but…” He laughed, his ruby eyes piercing mine so deep it felt like they stabbed my soul. “Didn’t know they were this green.”

That’s when I genuinely thought I’d go blind for real—my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

My heart raced like never before. For a second, I seriously worried I’d have a heart attack.

He chuckled playfully, holding the frame and twirling my glasses between his fingers, spinning them in the air.

“Getting shy, nerd?”

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!

“It was a joke, right? When you said you’re not attractive.”

“Stop smiling at me like that.” That damn demon grin. “You sure the prescription on these is right?” He eyed the glasses in his hand with an amused look, eyebrow arched, before his sharp gaze landed back on me. “Because there’s no way you can see fine with these and still see something so different from what I do…”

He…

Was he actually saying I’m good-looking?

For real…?

Or was he just messing with me?

My face was burning so much I could’ve been mistaken for a tomato—my cheeks had to be that red.

“N-no, it’s just…” I looked away, shaking my head to shake off the embarrassment. “Quit being an idiot, give ‘em back!” I huffed, snatching the glasses from his hand and quickly sliding them back on. I spun around fast, facing away as he laughed, flopping back onto the bed like he hadn’t just tossed my heart into a sizzling pan with salt and pepper. “You’re ridiculous…” My chest heaved slightly, my breathing a little uneven as I stared at my closet, hoping my mind would just blank out.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm down, discreetly breathing in and out over and over, but the embarrassment only grew with every second his laughter echoed through the room.

Shit, shit, shit.

Was he laughing because he noticed? Noticed how his closeness got to me, the way it does to the girls he hooks up with? Noticed I might not be as straight as he thought? Noticed my feelings…?

Did he notice… everything?

And why did the thought of him finally figuring it out terrify me so much, while also bringing this weird sense of relief?

No, Izuku. Stop.

He didn’t notice. Not yet.

It’s fine. You’re safe.

My heart pounded furiously against my chest even as I got dressed.

When I snuck a quick sideways glance at him, his fingers were flying across his phone keyboard again. And he was smiling at the glowing screen.

Was he telling her about the little prank he pulled on me? About how ridiculous I am…?

I shook my head to chase those dumb thoughts away.

Kacchan, you damn idiot.

~*~

When we got to the party, I immediately wanted to leave.

Not that it was a surprise—I knew I’d feel this way. I wasn’t there for the drinks or the people; I was only there for Kacchan. And speaking of him, he’d barely parked his bike—a gift from his parents for his eighteenth birthday—in front of the massive, noisy house before every eye in the place locked onto him.

If the front yard was already packed, I could only imagine what it was like inside. The thought alone drained what little enthusiasm I had.

I sighed.

I climbed off the back of the bike, and suddenly, all those eyes shifted to me. There was this weird anticipation in their stares, and I got nervous, not quite getting it—until I took off my helmet. Then their faces turned bored, like they were saying, "Oh, it’s just you."

It clicked: they were expecting Uraraka to be the one riding behind him.

They act like they like her and support them as a couple, but I know they’re just jealous opportunists. It’s funny to see the difference, though. People flock to Uraraka, complimenting her hair or her smile, while with me, they might as well step on me. They already treat me like a bug—stomping me out would just complete the package.

The attention that had flicked from Kacchan to me snapped back to him just as fast. As we crossed the yard to the front door, everyone swarmed him with big smiles, some even trying for an enthusiastic high-five—which Kacchan ignored, turning his head like they didn’t exist.

It was like I was invisible, but I was used to that. Sure, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s not like I wanted attention from people like them, so it was fine. I didn’t think I was special enough to be hated by the whole school, but the chunk that despises me is big enough to feel like it’s everyone.

Him again? Wasn’t Bakugo dating that girl…? Where’s she at?

I could hear confused murmurs like that rippling through the crowd. And of course, Kacchan heard them too.

As usual, he just gave a tiny, toothless smile, nodding so subtly it barely counted as a greeting, hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets, not stopping for a second to give them the time of day.

Katsuki’s never been the type to chase popularity or admire those who have it. He’s not outgoing, but it’s not that he hates socializing—he just doesn’t like being fawned over or treated like some K-pop idol. Everyone wants to be his friend—a dream conquest for some—but they don’t care about really knowing him. They just like the shiny, pretty wrapping that is Bakugo Katsuki, and he’s fully aware of it. It’s funny because, even though it’s just high school, people treat it like a kingdom: tons of peasants, a few nobles, a handful of princes, and one king.

I get why they’re pissed at me. Maybe I’m taking up a prince’s spot when I’m really just a lowly peasant.

We’d barely stepped inside when Kirishima came barreling over, arms wide and grinning like a maniac.

“BAKUGO! You actually came, man!” He was shocked—Kacchan wasn’t the type to accept party invites or anything else from the school crowd. No wonder everyone was buzzing, grinning ear to ear, staring and whispering excitedly. “Holy shit, it’s not every day you decide to mingle with other humans. It’s gotta rain soon,” he joked, laughing. Then his eyes landed on me beside Kacchan, scanning me head to toe before his smile stretched even wider. I was wearing a big white All Might hoodie with his smiling face stamped on it, regular jeans, and beat-up sneakers. I adjusted my glasses, feeling a little shy under his gaze, even if it was quick. “Yeah, it’s definitely gonna rain. You here too, Izuku?”

I laughed, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly.

“Glad you guys came. Want something to drink?” he asked, friendly as ever with one of those huge, shark-toothed grins. He’s not really my type, but I’ve always thought Kirishima was good-looking. That night, though, he was especially striking—his spiky red hair tied back in a messy ponytail, bangs falling over his face. “There’s a drink table by the pool and another in the kitchen. Some snacks too, but the drinks are endless.”

That’s why I like Kirishima—he’s the only one in Katsuki’s social circle who doesn’t treat me like a ghost.

“Cool,” I smiled. “You look good, Kirishima.” It was the first time I’d complimented him. Actually, it was the first time we’d exchanged more than a couple casual hellos.

I could tell he was a little caught off guard, but his smile didn’t falter—if anything, it grew.

“Oh, for real?” he said, glancing down at himself for a second. He had on a black tank top, open at the sides to show off his strong muscles, ripped jeans at the knees, and a plaid jacket tied around his waist. “Thanks, man. You look…” His words trailed off as he sized me up, like he was searching for something to say. I got self-conscious—there wasn’t much to compliment. I looked like a kid heading to the market for bread. For a moment, I wished I hadn’t just grabbed the first thing from my closet. “You look cute,” he finished, flashing a kind smile, different from his earlier ones.

I returned it, flustered.

“You guys hungry?” Kirishima asked.

“We already ate,” Kacchan answered, scanning the room with a bored look. “Fuck, this place is a mess.”

“What do you mean?” Kirishima laughed, confused. “It’s packed—everyone’s already wasted!”

“Exactly why it’s a mess.”

“Kat, you came!” A girl popped up out of nowhere. “Didn’t think you’d show when I invited you.”

Oh God, oh God!

It was the same long-haired blonde from earlier at school…!

Oh, greenie, what’d you expect? That you’d stay Bakugo's favorite forever? That you’d keep rubbing it in everyone’s faces…? You’re not a girl, you moron.

I swallowed hard and immediately looked away, but of course, that wasn’t enough to dodge her disdainful glare.

“Yeah,” Kacchan replied flatly, curling his lip into an obviously forced smile. He hates when people use nicknames like they’re close. Even if Kirishima tried it, he’d probably shove his face in a toilet.

I’ve never asked why he never minded when I started calling him Kacchan, though. Sometimes I wonder about it, but I always let it go. Early on, he’d grumble stuff like, “What’s with this sappy-ass nickname?” but his laugh when he said it told me he didn’t really care.

“Where’s your girlfriend? You break up?” the girl asked, pouting with exaggerated sadness. “Poor thing, she must be going through a thousand tissues crying. Want a drink? I got this special vodka called—”

“Sorry, but what’s your name again?” He cut off her annoying chatter without a second thought, squinting at her. She let out a disbelieving laugh at his audacity.

“You don’t know me?” she asked, her purple eyes widening slightly. He just kept staring at her, bored. She laughed again, incredulous. “Yu Takeyama, obviously,” she said, flipping her hair back, clearly offended by his blatant disinterest. I had to bite back a laugh.

“Got it. Nice party, Takehama.” With a perfect I-don’t-give-a-shit look, he didn’t even finish his sentence before walking off, pulling me along with his arm draped over my shoulders. Embarrassed, I ducked my head, trying hard not to grin.

“It’s Takeyama!” she yelled, stunned.

I couldn’t hold back the laugh this time, and neither could some people nearby who’d seen it all. Outraged, she swallowed her tantrum and stormed off, disappearing into the crowd.

My heart felt warm. I didn’t even notice the jealous stares anymore—all I could focus on was the rapid thudding in my chest. It’d been so long since Kacchan and I walked like this, especially at a party where everyone’s eyes were on us, for all to see.

I know it’s a dumb thought, but I almost felt like his boyfriend right then. For some reason, him throwing his arm around me at school felt different from doing it at a party. At school, everyone’s always hugging and walking like that—it’s normal, no big deal. But at a party, you usually only do it with someone you’re into. It felt like we were there, coming out as a couple in front of everyone.

I let out a goofy sigh.

God, I need to snap back to reality.

“You didn’t even say much, but you humiliated her good, man,” Kirishima said, laughing as he followed us. “Can’t believe you blew off Takeyama—she’s hot as hell, dude. I tried hitting on her earlier, but she didn’t give me the time of day. Guess she was just waiting for you to show up.”

“Not my type,” Kacchan shrugged.

“Hm,” Kirishima grinned slyly. “You’re really locked in with that short, chubby-cheeked girl, huh?” He laughed at Kacchan’s lack of response. “She must have a golden pussy, then. That why she didn’t come with you—too worn out to get out of bed?”

I like Kirishima, he’s cool, but… damn, I can’t stand this kind of talk.

As expected, Katsuki shoved him hard.

“Fuck off, you shitty worm!” he barked, drawing a few eyes nearby. Kirishima just cracked up—he’s used to Kacchan’s blowups; provoking him is his personal entertainment, after all. “Seriously, man, sometimes I wish your mom had aborted you. Say crap like that around me again, and I swear I’ll grab that shitty hair of yours, use it as a barbecue skewer, and shove a meter-long log up your ass ‘til it comes out your disgusting mouth, you miserable bastard.”

“Whoa, whoa!” Kirishima threw his hands up, still laughing. “Alright, tough guy. I’ll never dare tarnish your fair lady’s honor again, deal?”

Katsuki just rolled his eyes and looked away.

“To make it up to you, I’ll grab us some cool drinks from the kitchen. They’ve got these blue ones! Hope they’re not gone. Be right back—wait here,” he said, then dashed off.

Katsuki huffed.

“Fuck, I wanna bash Kirishima’s skull in sometimes…” he muttered, the vein in his forehead popping, his eye twitching. “No, scratch that—all the time.”

I laughed hard.

“I get that. He’s an idiot, but he doesn’t mean any harm,” I said.

He clicked his tongue.

“C’mon, let’s hit the pool, or I’ll lose it with all these stinking people bumping into me.” He started pulling me along before I could say a word.

“But Kirishima said—”

“Screw that shitty forest freak.”

I cracked up.

Kacchan, sometimes I wonder…

If alternate universes exist, would we be together in one of them? Or would I be screwed in every single one?

~*~

It was the same deal when we got to the pool area, now without Kacchan’s arm around me, on the outside of the house. People stopped to stare, whispers bouncing back and forth, excited smiles for Kacchan, twisted mouths for me—blah, blah, blah, all normal.

Out here wasn’t as chaotic as inside, but everyone was just as hyped. Some were splashing in the pool, others dancing on the grass. Tons of cups littered everywhere. All I could think about was the mess these people would leave behind and how much work the staff would have to do—because with a house like this, Yu Takeyama’s parents definitely had at least three employees.

“It’s better out here,” Katsuki remarked about the vibe. Inside, we could barely move without bumping into someone. Outside, though, you could breathe, and it was spacious. “Look, that chick’s into you.” While sipping a beer he’d snagged from one of the tables, he nodded toward her, subtle enough not to stare or make it obvious.

“Huh?” I glanced where he pointed—there was a group of girls eyeing us from a distance. They tried to play it off, but they’d look back and giggle. “Which one? ‘Cause, like, all four are only looking at you.”

“What? No, I mean the short-haired redhead.”

I laughed, rolling my eyes as I turned back to him, grabbing a beer too and taking my first sip.

“She’s looking at you, Kacchan.”

This time, he looked straight at them to check. The girls lost it—God, so obvious.

Showing no reaction, he just ignored them and faced me again.

“Yeah…” he agreed simply. I laughed and took another sip, him following suit.

Of course, no girl would notice me next to him. Maybe one with some kind of mental glitch. I’m shorter, way skinnier, and my face doesn’t even come close to his, so only someone crazy with weird taste would pick me. Not that girls’ opinions matter much to me—I’m gay, after all. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting a little. At the end of the day, it feels good to be wanted, right?

And that’s something I’ve never felt. If anyone’s ever been into me, they never showed it—or I never noticed. I’m not exactly the observant type.

“Why do people like parties so much, huh?” he asked out of nowhere, frowning. I laughed. “Besides using them as an excuse to hook up, obviously.”

“And I’d know? You’re the popular one—you’re supposed to be wired for this stuff,” I teased, finally getting a laugh out of him.

There’d been this bored aura around Kacchan since we arrived, and it had me wondering. He wouldn’t be like this if she were here, would he?

And like my thoughts were some kind of magnet, Uraraka materialized right in front of us the second her image crossed my mind.

Kacchan and I both widened our eyes as she approached, all smiles and waving excitedly, practically bouncing toward us.

“Hi! Wow, I thought I’d never find you guys!” She laughed gracefully, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear like she always did. “Oh, I know you’re probably surprised… I wasn’t planning to come—I was studying. My friends dragged me out last minute,” she explained between giggles. “What do you think of the party?”

I noticed Katsuki’s gaze—subtle but there—slide over her curvy figure, highlighted by her strapless dress. The top was a tight salmon color hugging her chest, with long, fitted sleeves covering her slim arms. The bottom flared out into a loose, flowy green skirt. A three-layered necklace with a pink stone adorned her neckline, and a yellow bow tied up her short hair. On her feet, pristine white sneakers—which I felt worth mentioning since mine were anything but. Overall, cute but undeniably sexy.

Why did that make me so uncomfortable? I can’t blame her for wanting to dress nice. It’s my fault for being an idiot and showing up in a hoodie and jeans—seriously, I hate myself for it. But even if I’d worn the most stunning, seductive outfit in the world, Kacchan wouldn’t notice me, let alone let his eyes wander over me like they did with her.

“Pretty shitty,” Katsuki replied with the same bored tone as before, though a little smirk tugged at his lips now. Just because she showed up.

Like I figured… I can’t replace her, not even as a friend. Uraraka was glowing, happy. Me? Totally out of place. How could anyone perk up with someone like me around? Of course he must’ve felt relieved when she appeared, despite all that I wanna hang out with you too nonsense from earlier.

Goddamn, God really does have favorites.

To keep from swallowing hard and dropping my head, I took another swig of beer.

“We just got here too,” I said, forcing a weak smile. I didn’t feel like talking, but it’d be awkward as hell if I just clammed up like a mummy, even though that’s what I wanted.

“My head was killing me from studying,” she said, laughing. “I had to get out and clear my mind.”

“Did you figure out those problems?” Katsuki asked, probably referring to when he was helping her over text.

“I think so, but I’m not sure. Can you check them with me later?” She pouted pleadingly. “And there’s some stuff from chapter four I didn’t get at all—I really need your help. Since we’re hanging out tomorrow anyway, maybe we could study at my place instead?”

Fuck off. Go to hell. Go fuck yourself up the ass, damn it.

I gripped my beer hard to keep from rolling my eyes.

He, on the other hand, smiled.

“Sure,” he laughed. “That stuff’s pretty tough.”

His eyes hadn’t left Ochako since she showed up—fucking hell. I couldn’t snap him out of that trance even if I stomped on his foot.

Goddamn, they basically just planned a hookup right in front of me. What kind of miserable bullshit is this? I thought third-wheeling was depressing enough on its own…

“It’s math, right, Uraraka?” Shut up, Midoriya, shut up. “Weren’t you really good at that? You’ve helped me tons of times.” I couldn’t hold back the jab—hoping jealousy wasn’t plastered across my forehead.

She looked flustered for a second but recovered fast.

“Oh, yeah… I was. I was studying a lot back then, but I’ve slacked off,” she said with a sweet, closed-lip smile, tucking that damn strand behind her ear again—I was starting to hate that habit. “And the material’s gotten way harder too.”

“Yeah, I get it,” I forced a smile. “Same here. Mind if I join you guys tomorrow?” Her eyes widened, caught off guard by the suggestion. I laughed quickly. “Kidding, relax.”

“Oh!” She laughed and looked away, clearly embarrassed.

“Where’re your friends?” Kacchan asked.

“Over there!” She pointed across the pool to a group of three girls chatting and laughing, each holding a blue drink—probably the ones Kirishima mentioned. When they looked back, Uraraka’s smile widened, and she waved enthusiastically; they waved back. “They’re so cool—wanna meet them?”

I jumped in fast: “Oh, I’m good right h—”

But Kacchan’s hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing it, cutting me off.

“Deku, one of them’s that otaku I told you about! From the chess club,” he said with an excited grin. “Didn’t know you were friends. Perfect—now you’ve got a reason to talk to her, Deku.”

“Kacchan, I already told you—”

“Oh, you’re into Hina, Deku?!” Uraraka’s eyes lit up, her face overtaken by a huge smile. Wait, what? Deku? Now she’s copying Kacchan and calling me that too? “You’d be so cute together! Come on!” Suddenly, she grabbed my wrist and started dragging me, despite my resistance. “You’ll love her, I’ll introduce—”

“Whoa,” Kirishima popped up out of nowhere beside me, startling me. He slung an arm over my shoulder, anchoring my feet in place. “You guys ditched me, so I drank all three cups myself,” he laughed, his gaze landing on the short girl. “Oh, hey! Didn’t know you’d show. It’s Jararaka, right?”

“Hm, nope,” she giggled at the pun. “Uraraka. Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s mine,” he grinned. “So, you guys headed somewhere or…?”

“Nah, forget it,” I said flatly, just wanting the whole Hina topic to vanish from existence. I hate being treated like some loser who needs help getting with someone—even if their intentions are good, it pisses me off. If it were just Uraraka doing it, or anyone else, I’d brush it off, but coming from Kacchan, it really gets under my skin.

Then Positions by Ariana Grande blasted through the air, and Ochako freaked out, jumping and squealing with excitement.

“Oh, I love this song! Come on, Kat!” She grabbed his wrist and started pulling, but he resisted.

“Hey, wait—”

“Come on! Let’s dance!” She kept tugging, her angelic, eager smile beaming.

“I don’t know how to dance, Uraraka.”

“I don’t care! Just dance with me, okay?” She added a second hand to his wrist, yanking with both now toward the grassy dance area. Some people danced solo with cups raised to the sky; others were grinding up close. The thought of seeing them like that made me nauseous.

Kacchan turned to me, and I could see in his eyes he wanted to go.

“Deku, I—”

“It’s fine,” I forced a smile, trying to sound as natural and kind as possible. “Go ahead! Don’t keep your girl waiting.”

He went quiet for a moment, his gaze flickering between her and me, like he was weighing his options.

Before he even answered, Uraraka and I both knew who’d win. Maybe that’s why her smile grew when he opened his mouth and, letting himself be pulled, said:

“I’ll be right back, okay? Just one dance.” And off he went, her arms wrapping around him as they walked. He slung his arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer.

I sighed heavily, my eyes—masochistic as it was—glued to the scene. The way they looked at each other, smiled at each other. The way his hand rested at the small of her back, dangerously close to her ass. When she turned around and started grinding against him, I couldn’t take it. I dropped my head, staring at my own feet like an idiot.

That trapped anguish in my chest was fighting to break free again.

My heart pounded so hard it hurt.

“Wanna go somewhere else?” Kirishima—whose arm was still on my shoulder, though I’d been too zoned out to notice—asked in a surprisingly calm tone, almost like he understood everything swirling in my head. Right then, I was so down I didn’t care if he knew.

I didn’t answer with words. Head down, I just nodded slowly.

~*~

“No problem,” Kirishima said abruptly, breaking the silence that had settled between us for a few minutes.

We were at the side of the house, a dark area only partly lit by the glow spilling out from inside. Though we were a bit removed, the music still reached us perfectly. A few couples wandered around—some making out against the wall—but they were all far enough away from us.

Kirishima stood leaning against the wall, one knee bent, arms crossed. I was beside him, sitting on the ground, hugging my knees.

“Huh?” I lifted my head to look at him, my face puzzled, eyes slightly swollen. I’d let a few tears slip while my head was down, but with the dim light, it’d be hard for him to notice.

“For saving you,” he said with a lopsided grin. “Got there just in time, huh?”

“Oh…” I turned my head, staring at the trees around us. “Yeah, I guess. They wanted to introduce me to some girl…”

“And you didn’t want to? Hm. Interesting.” He took the cigarette from his mouth and offered it to me, but I shook my head, declining. He slid it back between his lips. “Wonder why,” he said, amusement lacing his voice.

I just kept staring at nothing ahead of me, not answering.

“You know, it’s pretty obvious.”

I frowned at that.

Turning to face him, I waited for him to go on.

He smirked, glancing at me sideways before hitting me with: “That you’re into Bakugo. It’s pretty damn obvious.”

My eyes widened, my heart skipping a beat.

Whenever I’d imagined this moment—someone confronting me, saying they knew I liked Katsuki—I always pictured myself falling apart. I thought I’d scramble to deny it with everything I had, clawing to prove otherwise. Everyone’s always teased me about it, but it felt like petty jabs that went in one ear and out the other. This was different—someone close to Kacchan saying it straight up.

But after the initial shock faded, I just sighed and looked away.

In the end, I just accepted this shitty reality.

Even if Kirishima went to Katsuki and spilled my feelings, the idea didn’t scare me as much as I thought it would. I was already so deep in the muck that I didn’t care anymore—things couldn’t get worse than they already were. If Kacchan distanced himself after finding out, maybe it’d even be better. Then this nightmare could finally end.

“I won’t tell, relax.”

I shrugged.

“Wouldn’t get me anything,” he said. I didn’t look at him, but I heard him take a drag. Then the sound of smoke escaping his mouth, filling the air for a fleeting moment. “Because I want to hook up with you.”

But…

what?!

WHAT?!

What the fuck?!

Okay, that shocked me more than him knowing I liked Kacchan.

My brain short-circuited, my mind going completely blank. What the hell? Kirishima’s into me? Since when?!

He’s messing with me, right? Has to be.

He’s one of the most popular guys in school…

What the hell did he see in me?!

No, no way. He’s definitely joking.

I burst out laughing.

“Okay, got it. Hilarious,” I said between chuckles.

“Glad you think it’s funny,” he laughed too. “But it’s not a joke. I’m serious.”

I turned to face him. He grinned sideways, cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

I raised an eyebrow.

“If you’re screwing with me, I swear I’ll punch you in the nuts.”

He cracked up, pulling the cigarette out and snuffing it between his fingers before tossing it aside.

“Hey!! Why’d you throw it on the grass? What’s the point of that?” I exclaimed, suddenly forgetting everything else to get pissed. God, I hate people who litter. What’s the need for that? Seriously!

He laughed more before sitting beside me.

“I just said I’m into you, and you’re worried about that?” He grinned, stretching his legs out and leaning back against the wall. “If I said this to anyone else, I’d be jumped on the spot.”

“Yeah, except Takeyama, apparently.”

He laughed.

“Okay, hit me where it hurts.”

“Yep.”

We sat in silence for a bit, and suddenly, I got nervous.

God, so he wasn’t kidding?!

I swallowed hard, fidgeting with my fingers.

“I really meant it,” he said out of nowhere.

“Since when…?”

“Since when I’ve wanted to hook up with you?”

I blushed at how blunt he was.

He laughed.

“Well, it’s been a while. Always thought you were hot.”

I couldn’t help it—I laughed.

“Okay, that was good. I almost bought it…”

“Damn it, Izuku.” I froze as his hand suddenly landed on my bent knee. “Do I have to force myself on you to prove I’m serious, or…?”

I let out a nervous laugh. My head stayed forward—I didn’t have the guts to turn and face him. I was way, way too nervous. I never thought I’d get this flustered just because someone was hitting on me. It was my first time, and as if that wasn’t enough, it wasn’t just any guy—it was the guy. A total hottie.

God, help me.

“What do you want with me, man?” I blurted out what was racing through my head. “Like, you could hook up with anyone at this party…”

“I know.” His hand slid from my knee to my thigh, fingers brushing there. I shivered all over. His hand reminded me of Katsuki’s, but it definitely didn’t have the same effect. If Kacchan’s touch on my shoulder alone could make me forget my name for a second, imagine if he grabbed my thigh like this? “I did try with Takeyama, yeah, and I hook up with lots of people, but that’s just casual stuff, you know? I’m actually into you.”

“Oh, come on, Kirishima,” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “I know your player rep. You say that to everyone.”

“Damn, you got me. It’s all I’ve got memorized. Is it working, at least?”

I cracked up at his goofiness, and he joined me.

“Since when are you bi? I had no clue. Does Kacchan know?”

“He knows.”

“How’d he react?”

“Hm,” he chuckled. “You asking that means he doesn’t know you’re into guys, huh?”

I went quiet for a few seconds before saying, “Yeah… he doesn’t.”

“And you’re scared he’ll treat you differently.”

“Yeah… I am.”

Silence.

“It was early first year. We were closer back then, before he met you.” He paused briefly. “But when I say closer, I don’t mean he’s changed. He hasn’t with me—he’s still the same as always. I used to think that’s just how Katsuki was: kinda distant, quiet, not big on contact, quick to snap—all the stuff you’ve already seen…” He laughed, like he was reminiscing. “But it’s funny, ‘cause he showed you a side of him no one else had ever seen—not even me. I realized it’s not that you changed him or anything… he’s always been that way, just never found someone who made him want to show it before. I think that’s why people get so pissed about you.” He chuckled.

I didn’t know how to process his words. They didn’t make me feel any less shitty or particularly special. It was just compatibility, nothing more. Why someone like Katsuki found that in someone like me is a total mystery, honestly.

“Anyway, back to what I was saying… it was early first year when I told him. I was into some guys and figured he should hear it from me instead of someone else. When I said I liked guys too, he didn’t give a damn—I was almost offended,” he laughed. “I thought he was one of those super straight dudes, so I was sweating bullets telling him. He just looked at me, bored, and said, ‘What’s that got to do with me? Fuck it, I’m starving as hell.’” Kirishima burst out laughing, and I cracked up too, picturing it. “It was hilarious. I was cackling like a hyena, and he just stared at me with this pissed-off face. Epic. Since then, I’ve been openly bi—everyone knows. Surprised you didn’t, but I should’ve figured… you’ve got that total clueless vibe.”

A thought hit me, and my smile faded.

“Funny, huh? You hook up with guys, and no one cares, but everyone comes at me over Kacchan. You have no idea the awful stuff I’ve heard—seriously. They’ve even told me to get surgery to change my gender.”

“It’s ‘cause people don’t actually care about that stuff, Izuku.” I finally turned to face him, close up. We were so near, and though it still stirred some nerves in my stomach, I didn’t feel like running. He smiled. “They only care if you care. That’s what makes it fun for them. It could be anything—even how you comb your hair. If you show it gets to you, even without saying a word, they’ll hound you forever. That’s how it works.” I’d forgotten his hand was on my thigh until it slid inward, dangerously close to my crotch. I swallowed hard, dipping my head to dodge his predatory stare. He chuckled. “You really like him, huh? Must be tough seeing him with some skirt-chaser. I don’t know how you stand being around them at school. I feel bad just watching.”

I sighed, turning my head forward again.

Like him, I bet plenty of people thought the same when they looked at me. Pity.

I bit my lower lip, my chest sinking a bit.

“I’m definitely not doing that anymore. Lesson learned.”

“If you want my opinion…” Suddenly, his other hand cupped my chin, pulling my face back toward him. I swallowed hard. His gaze was so seductive it made me feel hot. No one had ever looked at me like that before.

For the first time… I felt wanted.

And I definitely liked it.

He smirked, all cocky. “I think you’re way better than her,” he whispered before crashing his mouth onto mine.

I was not ready for that. Is this how people start a kiss? He came in with his mouth open, and I flinched when his tongue wet my lips. I pulled back slightly, eyes wide, heart racing.

Kirishima looked confused for a second, but then he got it and burst out laughing.

“Oh, no. Hold up. Don’t tell me…” He laughed again. “You’ve never kissed anyone, have you?”

Still wide-eyed, my Adam’s apple bobbed as my cheeks flushed pinker.

He laughed again.

“For real? You weren’t saving yourself for Bakugo or something, were you…?” He paused, a grin spreading. “’Cause if you were, sorry, but I’m gonna laugh my ass off.”

“N-no, of course not!” I shot back, my whole face burning now. Truth is, I never planned to save my first kiss for Katsuki or anything, but all this time I’ve liked him, I never let myself look at anyone else. So, in a way, it was like I was “saving” myself for him, even unintentionally. “I-It’s not that… I’m just shy. I’m not good at this stuff. Can we… go slow, please?”

“Oh,” he smiled. “So you’re a virgin too.”

Flustered, I nodded slowly.

His grin widened.

“How cute.” His hand slid from my thigh to my waist, wrapping around it. I shifted from sitting sideways to facing him more. His other hand cupped my face gently. His touch was warm… and nice. “I’ve never been someone’s first anything. This’ll be fun.” He started leaning in slowly.

My heart pounded—not specifically for Kirishima, but because this was my first kiss, and I was freaking out. What if I screwed up? What if our teeth clashed? What if I drooled too mu—

“Relax. I can feel you shaking,” he whispered, so close his warm breath hit my lips. I nodded quickly, eyes still wide with nerves. I swallowed hard. He chuckled. “And close your eyes. It’s creepy otherwise.”

That got a laugh out of me, easing my tension.

But just as I started closing my eyes, my phone rang.

Kirishima huffed impatiently as I pulled back a bit to fish it out of my pocket.

My heart skipped when I saw the contact name lighting up my screen.

It was Kacchan.

[Kacchan]: hey deku

[Kacchan]: where the fuck r u

[Kacchan]: u ok??

Before I could think of a reply, Kirishima snatched the phone from my hands.

“Hey, give it ba—”

He silenced me with a hard kiss, leaning over me and making my head bump lightly against the wall. My eyes widened.

What the hell? Didn’t we just silently agree to take it slow?!

I pressed my hands to his chest to push him off, but he just pressed harder against me. My eyes widened more as I gave weak punches to his chest. His hand gripped my nape, forcing his tongue past my lips—and he succeeded.

“Hm… w-wait…” I tried to say, but he didn’t care. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his wet tongue rubbing against mine. At first, it felt weird and awkward. I didn’t know what to do or if I even wanted to do anything. “Hmm…” I mumbled, and suddenly, I don’t know when my protests turned into soft moans. Without realizing it, my eyes closed, and my tongue started moving naturally against his, like it knew what to do better than I did.

It was different. Strange, but not a bad strange—definitely not.

My arms were stiff at my sides until he took one, guiding it around his neck. Taking the hint, I wrapped both arms around him, pulling him tight. Seeing me give in more, his hands went straight to my ass, squeezing hard. I was totally caught off guard—I didn’t expect that boundary to be crossed so soon. My eyes shot open, and I let out a surprised grunt. But as seconds passed, with his fingers working down there and his tongue stroking mine, my body melted into the grass, my eyelids fluttered shut again, and I just pulled his neck closer, making him chuckle against my mouth and grip my ass harder.

Fuck.

It wasn’t Kacchan, but even so…

It was so, so good.

I didn’t even know my body could respond this well to someone who wasn’t him, but I sure as hell liked finding out.

Later, I’d learn that while Kirishima and I were making out on the neatly trimmed grass in the nearly deserted part of that big party house, my phone screen—tossed on the ground—lit up with every new message Kacchan sent.

But I was way too busy to notice.

Chapter Text

I only realized I needed air when Kirishima’s mouth finally pulled away from mine, and my chest heaved instantly, rising and falling hard, completely breathless.

It was fascinating to discover how kisses could double as anesthetics.

I felt… light. So light I could barely feel the ground beneath me—like I was floating. A stark contrast to the heavy anguish that had been dragging me down before. My mind was blank, the hairs on my arms and neck standing on end, and as oxygen slowly trickled back into my brain, my blurry, hazy vision started to clear.

That’s when I noticed that, at some point in the chaos, Kirishima had taken off my glasses.

“W-where’re my gla—ah!” A surprised moan tore from my throat as that wet, swollen-from-kissing mouth crashed against my neck, devouring the untouched skin. My eyes widened, and I clamped a hand over my mouth to stifle the sounds itching to escape.

I didn’t know my neck was my weak spot. Shit, how could such a sensitive, almost erotic area catch me off guard like this? I was panting and hard as if he were sucking me off, but it was just my damn neck!

“H-hey, wait…” I pressed my hands to his shoulders to push him off, but I didn’t really try. “N-no… hmn…”

His chuckle at my protest said it all: he wouldn’t stop even if I begged—hell, I’d bet that’d only egg him on.

Kirishima’s eager—his kisses are fast, his touches rough. Everything about him teeters on impatience.

It was good, I can’t lie. Being touched like that, with such need, like he had to feel me—it was satisfying.

“You’re so sensitive here… if you moan like this just from your neck, I get hard imagining how you’d be if I touched you lower…” he whispered against my skin, drawing a shameful whimper from me as he bit down harder than before. I blushed fiercely, turned my face away, and clamped my hand over my mouth again, biting my lip. He laughed. “Don’t do that—I wanna hear you.” He pulled my hand away and turned my face back to him, not giving me a second to think before his tongue tangled with mine again. “You’re so beautiful…”

My eyelids fluttered, and I just melted into that grass.

Sure, I’d been curious about sex and sometimes fantasized about what it’d be like, but I always thought I was pretty chill about it. I’m not one of those people with some cute idea like, “Oh, my first time has to be super special, with someone I love”—but I also never got the urge to just hook up with anyone for the sake of it. That never appealed to me. So I’d always been fine with my virginity, never in a rush. I’d do it when I felt like it, and that was that.

That’s why it shocked me to realize, in that moment, how much I’d needed this until Kirishima touched me so shamelessly. It woke up a side of me I didn’t know existed—and I definitely liked meeting it.

But at the same time, something didn’t quite fit. His kisses were good, his touches hot and fulfilling… yet sometimes I couldn’t keep up, and he didn’t seem to care. His mouth and hands were like drugs numbing my body, making me forget the pain that had twisted my heart, but I wondered—was this so good because I was actually into him, or because I was so hurt I needed to take it out on someone?

Honestly, though, I’m not sure I want to know the answer. It felt good, I was enjoying it, no matter what drove me to kiss him—whether I was attracted to him or not, whether I was hurting or not, or maybe a mix of both. All I knew was I didn’t want to stop.

I never want to feel that anguish again.

Because as much as Kacchan’s everything to me, and as grateful as I am for our friendship, it suffocates me. It chokes me because sometimes it feels like my whole life revolves around him. I rely on him for everything—to defend me from the jerks at school, to keep me company in the art room, to walk the halls with me, to hang out on weekends. I depend on him to be someone. Without him, I’m alone. Without him, I am alone.

No, I’m not being dramatic. It’s just the truth.

That’s when it hit me—everything was wrong from the start. We were doomed to drift apart from the beginning, Heather or no Heather.

Because he doesn’t need me to be happy, but I need him.

As much as our differences brought us together at first, they’re what’ll pull us apart in the end.

I can only imagine how tough it must be for Kacchan too. I know he values our friendship—otherwise, he wouldn’t bother keeping me around—but it’s gotta be a drag feeling obligated to babysit me all the time just so I don’t feel like a lonely loser. Of course he’d want me to date some girl or make more friends—it’d take the weight off his shoulders. I get it, and I can’t blame him for that. And Uraraka? She probably wants to parade around with her boyfriend, just the two of them, kissing freely and talking about whatever they want… but no, she can’t have that. She can’t be with Katsuki the way she’d like because she’s stuck dealing with me too.

She’s a good person, Kacchan is too. They’re too kind and patient to tell me how they really feel.

And I definitely don’t want to be the kind of person who needs other people’s patience.

In the end, I’m a burden—to the kids at school, to Uraraka, to my mom raising me alone, and to Kacchan.

Don’t take this as some victim spiel. It’s my fault. I hate feeling dependent on him, but what am I doing to change it? I don’t try to meet new people or explore new places—I just stay tucked under his wing, too scared to spread my own.

But that’s definitely going to change.

Today. Today it’ll change.

I’m going to spread my wings and fly far.

“Why don’t you wear contacts?” Kirishima asked out of nowhere, kissing near my collarbone—he’d tugged my hoodie’s neckline down. He lifted his face to meet mine, his slightly uneven breaths mingling with my own. The faint saliva he’d left on my neck tingled oddly under the cool night breeze brushing my skin.

“Why do you say that?” I asked, confused by the random question. My chest heaved fast—I was embarrassingly out of breath. I fumbled around the grass beside us, finally finding my round glasses. I wiped the lenses on my shirt. “You think I look bad with glasses…?”

“No, of course not,” he laughed. “Glasses make you cute and sexy. Actually, I think I just found out I’ve got a little thing for guys with glasses,” he teased with a chuckle. “But everyone I know who wore glasses switched to contacts. You never thought about it?”

“Hm… honestly, I never really considered it much.” I slid my glasses back on, adjusting them on my nose. I blinked, everything snapping into sharper focus—though with Kirishima just inches from my face, I could already see him clearly without them. “My glasses never bothered me. I looked into contacts once, though. They’re kinda pricey since you have to keep replacing them and stuff…”

“Got it. Still, I think you should think about getting some. You could switch it up—wear contacts sometimes, glasses others, you know? You don’t have to ditch the glasses completely.” He studied my face silently for a few seconds before giving a simple smile. “The glasses hide your features a bit. And the green in your eyes pops way more without them.”

I knew your eyes were green, but… didn’t know they were this green.

The memory made my cheeks heat up.

He laughed, probably amused by my embarrassment, unaware it wasn’t entirely because of him.

“Didn’t know you were the observant type, Kirishima,” I said.

“I am, sometimes.” His hands settled on my bent knees, spreading my legs wider to fit himself better between them, closing the distance even more. It felt like we’d been at it for hours, and with his hands roaming my body nonstop, touches like that didn’t faze me as much anymore.

I wrapped my arms around his neck again. He leaned in, and I instantly closed my eyes and parted my lips, waiting for the kiss. His lips met mine, his warm breath flooding my mouth, but just as I was about to take the lead and slip my tongue in first, he whispered—and though I couldn’t see it, I knew he was smiling:

“But only with people I want to be.”

He sucked my lower lip hard before pulling my tongue into his mouth with his own, his hand on my nape keeping me locked in place—and it’s not like I wanted to escape anyway.

I moaned in delight, my fingers instantly tangling in his red locks, tugging slightly and making his already messy ponytail even more disheveled.

“Know why I like hooking up with guys?” His whisper brushed hot against my lips as he suddenly broke off that new kiss—which, in my head, felt like it lasted hours and hours, even though it hadn’t even been five minutes.

“Hm…?” I mumbled back, half-dazed, my eyes barely open as my arms did a solid job of keeping him pressed tight against me.

I had no idea kissing could be this good. Now I got why everyone was so obsessed with it.

Kirishima flashed a huge grin, and right then, I knew I’d regret asking.

“Girls are such a drag. All ‘don’t touch here, don’t touch there’…” Out of nowhere, he let go of my ass and grabbed my dick hard. A yelp of shock got tangled in my throat, coming out as a weird, high-pitched squeak. My eyes popped wide in total disbelief. “And touching their pussy? Forget it… but guys don’t care when I grab here.” He squeezed again, his grin stretching wider as my face froze.

My stomach clenched as a cold wave surged through it, overwhelming nerves shooting up my legs.

I yanked his hand off fast.

“I do care, okay? D-don’t touch there like that…”

Instinctively, I tried to close my legs, but his body between them stopped me.

He laughed but, thankfully, did as I asked, his hands shifting to my hips instead. I sighed, relieved. I’d genuinely freaked out when he grabbed me like that—I wasn’t expecting it.

“So you’re kinda like a girl, huh?” He raised an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes.

Sometimes, I think Kirishima’s amazing.

Other times, I just wanna chuck a brick at him.

“Don’t make me lose the urge to kiss you, alright?”

“Wonder why Katsuki doesn’t hook up with you. If he closed his eyes and ignored your dick, it’d almost be like banging a chick,” he laughed loudly. “No tits or anything, but you’ve got a hell of an ass. You know that, right?”

My face soured instantly.

“That’s not funny, dude,” I snapped.

I know he didn’t mean to be a jerk, but sometimes he’s so clueless.

I was sick of being compared to girls—by people around me and even by myself. And I didn’t like him bringing Kacchan into it like that either.

“Okay, okay… my bad,” he said, raising his hands in surrender, a playful grin still plastered on his face. I kept staring at him, unimpressed. “Just a joke, chill.”

I was about to say something else when I suddenly remembered those messages from earlier. I’d lost track of time with Kirishima, and when I pulled my phone out of my pocket, the lock screen clock lit up. My eyes widened—two hours had passed since I’d left Kacchan dancing with Uraraka at the party.

They widened even more at the flood of messages he’d sent.

As my finger scrolled through the chat and my eyes raced across the glowing screen, Kirishima’s hand slid back to my neck, stroking gently to get my attention.

“Hey, Izuku… forget about him…” he murmured, deliberately letting his breath graze my neck as he started sucking and nibbling again, this time slow and tender. “He’s over there having fun with his girl…”

I ignored his comments, though I let him keep going on my neck. I was too busy scrolling through Kacchan’s chat, my eyes glued to the phone in my slightly shaky hands.

[Kacchan]: u go home???

3 missed calls from Kacchan

[Kacchan]: fuck where r u damn it

[Kacchan]: i looked all over this shitty place for u

[Kacchan]: called ur mom and she said u aint home

[Kacchan]: shit

11 missed calls from Kacchan

[Kacchan]: WHAT THE FUCK U SON OF A BITCH

[Kacchan]: WHERE R U DAMN IT

[Kacchan]: PICK UP THIS FUCKING PHONE

[Kacchan]: HELL

8 missed calls from Kacchan

[Kacchan]: u fucking ASSHOLE

[Kacchan]: IM GONNA BREAK U IN HALF WHEN I FIND U

[Kacchan]: U SHITTY FUCK

[Kacchan]: FUCK  

“Oh my God!” I shot up, making Kirishima curse under his breath. My heart was pounding. “Kacchan’s freaking out looking for me—I totally lost track of time!”

“Tell him to go fuck his girl and leave us alone, Izuku, for fuck’s sake,” he groaned, grabbing my hand to pull me back down. “Come on, sit. Drop it. You’re seriously gonna indulge him? He didn’t seem too worried when that chubby-cheeks was grinding her pussy on him…”

“But this is different—I vanished for two hours without a word. He even called my mom.” I typed a quick I’m coming before shoving my phone back in my pocket. “Let’s go, Kirishima.”

He stared at me like he couldn’t believe what I was saying. Finally, seeing I wasn’t budging, he sighed heavily and pushed off his knees to stand.

I could’ve just texted him I was fine and not to worry, but it’d been so long since I’d shown my face—he must’ve been genuinely freaked out. Knowing me and the school crowd, he’d probably think I’d been locked in a closet before imagining I was off making out with someone in a corner. And he’d called my mom—she was probably worried too. So I figured I should at least meet up with him to calm things down. I wanted to be the carefree type who’d just reply chill, I’m good and go back to sticking my tongue in Kirishima’s mouth, but I know myself well enough—I wouldn’t enjoy it knowing the people I care about were stressed and pissed at me. Kacchan hasn’t exactly earned my consideration lately, but I wouldn’t want him disappearing mid-party without a word either. Anyway, I wasn’t really in the mood to keep kissing Kirishima anymore.

Plus, I was still kinda counting on him for a ride home.

“Whoa, guess who called me too?” Kirishima said, grinning as he showed me his phone screen. Six missed calls from Bakubro. “Seriously, what a fucking buzzkill…”

“Let’s go already.” I turned to head back to the party, but his hand grabbed mine, yanking me back for one or two more kisses before I scolded him. He laughed, and I broke free, heading toward the party again—this time without protests from Kirishima, who followed with a sarcastic smirk.

When I reached the pool area, it felt like nothing had changed. If anything, there were more people, all way drunker than before.

I didn’t have to walk far to spot him. Kacchan was sitting at a round wooden table in the middle of the lawn with Uraraka, her friends, and a few others.

He didn’t look happy, though.

He sat with his legs spread, body slouched forward, elbows planted on his knees. His head was down, eyes locked on the phone in his hands, one foot tapping nonstop.

Even from a distance, anyone could tell he was anxious, tense, and pissed.

Uraraka was chatting animatedly with everyone at the table, trying to pull him into it, but he wasn’t even pretending to care.

I swallowed hard, feeling nervous but not slowing down.

It wasn’t until I was standing right in front of him, and he’d lifted his head to look at me, that I realized I hadn’t even thought of an excuse for disappearing for two hours and showing up out of nowhere with Kirishima trailing behind.

His eyes flicked between us quickly before he shot to his feet.

“What the fuck is this? Your phones turn into vibrators now—shoving ‘em up your asses?!” The vein in his forehead bulged. The chatter at the table died instantly, all eyes on the three of us. The tension was thick. I pressed my lips together and dipped my head slightly. “You know how many fucking times I called your shitty phone, Deku?! Where the hell were you, you asshole?!”

“I… I-I…” Shit, I didn’t know what to say. I bit my lower lip, too nervous to meet his eyes.

“Kat, calm down.” Uraraka stood too, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, he’s back now, right? Relax—you’re overreacting a little, don’t you think?” She turned to me with a small smile. “What happened, Deku? We were worried—you’re not the type to just vanish…”

“Actually, Izuku felt a little sick, but it’s all good—nothing big,” Kirishima jumped in, slinging an arm over my shoulders. I swallowed hard, stuffing my shaky hands into my All Might hoodie pockets. Even though I couldn’t bring myself to look up, I could still feel Kacchan’s furious glare burning into me, and I worried he wouldn’t buy Kirishima’s story. “I took him to one of the rooms to rest. He passed out, I stayed with him, and I ended up dozing off too… anyway, it’s a party, Bakubro, chill. What’d you think happened? He got kidnapped and shipped to Turkey?” He laughed.

“Funny, ‘cause I turned this house upside down, checked every damn room, and didn’t see your shitty faces in any of ‘em.” Kacchan crossed his arms, the twitch in his eye making his scowl even scarier.

I trembled, but before I could spiral and blurt out something stupid, Kirishima jumped in with a cocky grin:

“This house is huge, man. You probably didn’t look hard enough.”

Now Katsuki’s irritated glare zeroed in on Kirishima.

“You think I’m schizophrenic or something, asshole? Of course I looked, you worm.”

“Then you just got unlucky. I dunno, maybe I was in the bathroom with Izuku when you checked the room…”

“Bathroom? You said you were sleeping.”

My nervous eyes darted between them.

“Yeah, but before that, he had to puke in the bathroom. What’s your deal, huh? Think I’m lying?” Kirishima was so convincing I almost wondered if it’d actually happened. “You just didn’t catch us, that’s all.”

“Deku VOMITED and you didn’t call me?!”

“I was too busy helping him to think about calling you, dude!”

“At no fucking point did it cross your shitty mind that I should know what was going on?!”

“Didn’t think you’d care when you had more interesting stuff to do.” He glanced at Uraraka with a wide grin. She gave a weak smile back, looking as awkward as I felt amid their bickering. I hadn’t expected Kacchan to be this worried—I actually felt bad. “Guess you really don’t know how to enjoy a party… no wonder you never show up to these.”

“Shut your fucking mouth, jackass.” Katsuki rolled his eyes at the redhead, then stepped closer to me, his pissed-off look softening into concern. “You okay, Deku?” My eyes widened as he pressed a hand to my forehead, his voice now shockingly calm compared to seconds ago. “You’re kinda warm…”

“I-I’m fine.” I forced a smile. I was still tense, praying he wouldn’t grill me about “feeling sick” because I’d have no clue how to answer. “Seriously, I’m good… sorry for disappearing like that. Didn’t mean to cause trouble. Is my mom worried?”

“I’m not dumb enough to freak your mom out in the middle of the night. I just fished for info to see if you’d gone home—she bought it. Didn’t say you’d vanished or anything.”

“Oh, good. Thanks for that.” I gave a small, closed-lip smile.

Silence fell between us, and suddenly Kacchan’s gaze shifted to Kirishima’s arm still draped over my shoulder. Then he locked eyes with the redhead. His serious stare, even though it wasn’t aimed at me, made me shiver.

Kirishima just grinned wider.

“Now that it’s all cleared up… Kat, I’m tired,” Uraraka said, pulling his attention. “Can you give me a ride home?”

“Oh…” He scratched the back of his neck, looking at her. “Can’t, sorry. I came on the bike.”

“That’s fine by me! I’ve always wanted to ride a motorcycle,” she said, giggling excitedly.

“No, you don’t get it.” He let out a nasal laugh. “I’ve gotta drop Deku off. You came with your friends, right? So it’s cool if you head back with them?”

Her smile faltered hard, but she fought to keep it up.

“Oh, got it… sure, no problem.”

“Katsuki, take the girl home—I’ll go with Izuku,” Kirishima offered casually.

I caught Kacchan’s weirded-out reaction.

“You don’t have a car.”

“So? I’ll get an Uber.”

Kacchan narrowed his eyes at him.

“What’s your angle, asshole?”

“Huh?” Kirishima’s fake confusion was so obvious I’d have laughed if I weren’t so on edge. “What’d I say wrong?”

“You two suddenly best buds now?” He let out a mocking laugh, crossing his arms. “You barely talk to Deku at school, and now you’re offering to pay for an Uber and shit.”

“Yeah, well, we just got to know each other better.” He squeezed me in a side hug. I swallowed hard, twisting my fingers into my white hoodie. “You should thank me, man—I’m saving your night.” He shot a quick, sly grin at Uraraka before turning back to the blond, who still looked skeptical.

“See, Kat? All good then!” Uraraka beamed, her excitement back. She said bye to her friends and returned, latching onto Katsuki’s arm with a tight hug. “Ready to go?”

He glanced between Kirishima and me again.

“Look, I don’t like this.” His answer caught me off guard—I didn’t expect him to push back like that.

But it took me less than five seconds to realize he was just doing what he thought was right—feeling responsible for me—not what he actually wanted.

“I came with Deku, so I’m leaving with Deku.” He turned to her. “Uraraka, I’ll pay for an Uber for you and the girls, and—”

“It’s fine, Kacchan,” I cut in, smiling softly. He raised an eyebrow at me. “I’ll go with Kirishima. It’s okay.”

Yeah, I’d been counting on Kacchan for a ride home—I didn’t know the area and had no cash. But the idea of Kirishima taking me didn’t bother me at all. I didn’t want to ruin Katsuki’s night more than I already had or make him look after me out of duty.

Like I said, I can’t keep relying on him alone.

Kacchan studied me in silence for a moment before asking, “That’s what you want?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Uraraka grinned wide at me.

Kacchan kept staring, serious. Then he flicked a quick look at Kirishima before meeting my eyes again.

“Alright, your call then.” He shrugged. “Text me when you get home.”

“What are you, his dad?” Kirishima laughed, making Uraraka giggle—she covered her mouth to stifle it—but Kacchan’s stern face didn’t budge. “I’m not taking him to a motel, okay? Chill.”

“Just shut the fuck up, Kirishima.” Katsuki clicked his tongue, wrapping an arm around Uraraka’s slim shoulders. “Let’s go,” he said to her, but gave me one last look. Something odd lingered in his eyes. Maybe he didn’t trust Kirishima with this, but why not? They’re friends—it’s not like I’m heading home with a stranger. Kirishima’s right—Kacchan sometimes treats me like a dad or big brother, and it pisses me off. Do I really seem that fragile and helpless? “And don’t forget to text when you get there, Deku.”

I rolled my eyes but nodded.

“See you at school!” Uraraka waved cheerfully as they walked off. Katsuki didn’t look back. He still seemed kinda mad.

“Later!” Kirishima waved back, while I just gave a small nod and a faint smile. Once they were out of sight, he—still with his arm around me—let out a laugh. “Did you see how pissed he was? Thought he was gonna rip my head off, man.”

“Yeah… but I don’t blame him. I’d be worried too if it were me.”

Some people shot weird looks at Kirishima and me, probably thrown by our sudden closeness, but I didn’t care. Like I’ve said, I’m used to the side-eye.

“Man, worried doesn’t even cover it…” He chuckled. “He was acting like your big brother, dude. I’ve dealt with overprotective siblings of hookups before, and even they didn’t glare at me like that.”

“He…” I lowered my head. “Today he told me he sees me like a brother. Guess that’s why he’s got this overprotective streak, I dunno…”

“Wow, I can feel your soul leaving your body just saying that.” He laughed. “He really said that? You must’ve felt like shit.”

I sighed, looking away.

Kirishima really doesn’t watch his words.

“Well, that explains it. Always thought it was weird how protective he is, even beating people up over you.” He laughed, shaking his head. “So you’re like his little bro, aww.” He patted my head, messing up my hair like he was consoling me, but in a totally mocking way. I glared at him, unimpressed. “Wonder what his face would’ve been like if I’d said I was practically swallowing you back there. Man, I’d pay to see that…”

I gave him a weak punch to the chest, and he laughed.

“If you’d done that, I’d have ended you.”

“Sure. And how much longer you planning to play straight, huh?”

“I don’t play straight—he just pulled that out of his ass on his own.” I rolled my eyes, sighing.

“Yeah, but you didn’t correct him, did you?”

I huffed.

“I’m tired of this shit…” I muttered, more to myself than him.

“The guy’s a genius on the court and aces every test… sometimes I don’t get how someone so smart can be so dense.” He paused. “I barely hang out with you and I’ve already figured it all out.” He puffed up with that shark-toothed grin of his.

I didn’t reply. I’d wondered the same thing. If Katsuki can’t see something that’s apparently obvious to everyone else, maybe he doesn’t actually pay attention to me. Or maybe he doesn’t want to—believing I’m straight might be easier for him than considering the alternative.

I sighed.

We started walking away from the party, opting to cut through the yard instead of going back through the house, which I silently appreciated.

“You know you’ll have to tell him the truth eventually, right?” Kirishima said as he ordered the Uber, asking for my address first. “Like, one day he’s gonna catch me with my tongue in your mouth, so you might as well spill it now.”

Wait, what?

So…

Kirishima kinda…

Wants to keep hooking up with me?

Me?

Huh?

I mean, I know we made out and all… but I figured it was just a one-time thing for him. I wasn’t expecting more.

I blushed.

I hid my shock at his comment and just said, “Yeah… yeah, I know.” I nodded. “I’ll tell him.”

When I said that, I hadn’t fully processed my own words.

But on the ride home, staring out the window at the dull urban scenery while Kirishima occasionally spouted random nonsense beside me, the weight of what I’d said finally sank in.

Am I really going to tell Kacchan I’m gay?

~*~

The clock hands above the chalkboard were definitely moving slower than usual today.

I woke up anxious. Took a shower anxious. Ate breakfast anxious. Went to school anxious. Sat through every class anxious. And with every passing minute, I just got more anxious.

The nerves were eating me alive, but it wasn’t fear of his reaction—though I had no clue what it’d be. It was about finally getting this weight off my chest. It didn’t feel real. Part of me was dying to spit out those words already, but another part dreaded the moment arriving. Not out of fear, but because I’d lived so long resigned to this reality that imagining it ending felt strange. Maybe there was a tiny bit of hesitation about bursting the bubble I’d been in, but more than anything, I was itching to pop it once and for all.

What always stopped me from fully opening up to Kacchan was the fear of rejection. Not total rejection, but the subtle kind—the loss of little things. Even if it was small, I was scared. I didn’t want him to start treating me like he does his teammates. I wanted him to keep throwing his arm around my shoulders and walking me through the school halls with pride, like he always has, whether he thinks I’m straight or not.

Telling him this, even if it seems minor, is part of who I am. It’s not like telling him what music I like or what movies I watch—it’s a core piece of me. The piece he needs to know to really understand me. How can we call ourselves best friends if he doesn’t even know the real me? It’s like him saying he loves the beach but only ever dipping his toes in the water, never diving into the ocean. Or saying he loves movies but only watching the previews before dozing off through the whole film until the lights come back on.

He needs to know. He needs to know because only then can we be true friends.

And yeah, I want his friendship. He’s someone special I want in my life, even if it’s not in the ideal way I’d dream of. Despite the pain of seeing him with someone else and knowing full well that sticking around will hurt me, I believe I’ll get over it someday. Or maybe my heart will always beat a little faster for him, even if I’m with someone else. All I know is, regardless of my feelings, his friendship is a light in my life, and I don’t want to lose that.

I get that our friendship won’t be the same as before, and that’s okay. I can live with it. If I can handle never getting even a taste of his kiss, I can handle knowing there are people in his life more important than me—people who’ll take a bigger spot than I ever will. And that’s fine, as long as he’s not the only one holding a big spot in my life too.

The idea of telling him who I am doesn’t terrify me anymore. Not like it would’ve just a few weeks ago, before he met Uraraka. Back then, I was scared he’d stop slinging his arm around me or lending me his jacket just because I’m gay. Now, that fear’s gone.

Because I’ve already lost all that.

Those little things? They’re gone.

Now, Uraraka’s the one who has them.

There’s no point in keeping this secret anymore when I’ve got nothing left to lose.

What I was afraid of losing, I’ve already lost.

I chewed on my thumb, pure anxiety coursing through me, my foot bouncing under my desk.

My stomach churned with every tick of the clock inching toward twelve.

When the end-of-day bell rang, I stayed frozen in my seat, watching everyone file out of the classroom.

I’d dodged Katsuki at break because I’d spent the whole day so wired to tell him the truth that I knew if I saw him, I’d be too jittery to hold it in. The second he’d ask something like, “What’s up with you?”—which he totally would’ve, noticing my sketchy vibes—my tongue would’ve itched to spill everything right then and there. I didn’t want to do it with Uraraka and a bunch of others around, so I took a walk to cool off instead. I decided to wait until after classes.

[Kiri]: let’s hang out after my practice ok?  

I cracked a small smile reading that. Kirishima and I had swapped numbers when the Uber dropped me off at home before taking him to his place. As I opened the car door to leave, he grabbed my arm, stole a quick peck, and laughed his ass off when I blushed and froze up.

When I got inside, he texted me right away, and we started chatting. I only remembered to let Kacchan know I’d made it home when he texted me asking. I gave a dry yes, and he followed up, asking how I was, if I’d felt sick again…

I couldn’t lie, so I just didn’t reply. He didn’t push it.

Despite everything, I’m happy—well, as much as I can be. I never would’ve guessed things could flip overnight like this. Yesterday, I was a mess, and somehow that yesterday feels like ages ago. Not that everything’s suddenly fine—that anguish is still lurking—but it’s not unbearable anymore. I like Kirishima—he’s cool and fun, even if he says dumb shit sometimes. I’m not picturing him as boyfriend material or anything, since I’m not sure I could see him that way, but I like the idea of hooking up with him. I’m actually excited to hang out and take my mind off things, like I did yesterday.

It’s like he miraculously dropped from the sky to save me.

[Izuku]: Yeah, let’s do it

[Kiri]: aaaaa awesome

[Kiri]: can’t wait to see u cutie  

I laughed, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and leaving the classroom.

It feels good to be wanted. I’ve never gotten texts like this, and no matter who’s sending them, my chest warms up. It’s nice knowing someone wants to be with you, kiss you—even if it’s just casual. I’ve never had that, and I’m definitely enjoying it.

[Kiri]: btw i think u should tell bakugo soon

[Kiri]: i covered for u yesterday but i don’t usually hold my tongue ;)

[Izuku]: I’m gonna tell him

In a way, I’m grateful. Without Kirishima, I don’t know how much longer I’d have dragged this out. I’d probably hit a breaking point where, the next time Kacchan tried to set me up with some girl, I’d snap, dump a bucket of glitter on his head, and scream, “I’M A FAGGOT, MY LOOOOOVE!”

[Kiri]: just don’t overshare and let slip ur totally whipped for him lol

[Kiri]: tho i’d love to see the chaos :D

[Izuku]: LMAOOOO

[Izuku]: Ridiculous

I headed to the art room. I only wanted to see Kacchan if it was to lay everything out—another reason I’d avoided him at break. I didn’t want to talk before practice for a million reasons. I’d rather we talked after, calmly, and I didn’t want to sit through their practice tapping my foot anxiously or making small talk like nothing was up until it was over. So I figured I’d kill time in the art room and head over later.

[Kacchan]: deku

[Kacchan]: we cool right?

[Kacchan]: went looking for u in the art room at break today and u weren’t there

[Kacchan]: u skip school or what??  

I read his messages while setting up my supplies at the easel, nodding hello to a few others already painting. Uraraka, as usual, didn’t come to the art room anymore. Now she just watches Kacchan’s practices. New relationship vibes—I get her excitement, especially with how long she’s been into him… but it still annoys me. She’s like gum stuck to his shoe, seriously!

[Kacchan]: u left me on read yesterday  

He meant the messages asking if I was better—since Kirishima had said I’d gotten sick at the party, and I’d ghosted instead of lying. What was I supposed to say? I didn’t get sick; I didn’t want to keep up the charade. I’d clear it all up today in person.

[Kacchan]: u mad i didn’t give u a ride????

[Kacchan]: i offered but u said no, didn’t wanna push it and look like a dick  

I’d be mid-thought on a reply, and he’d already fire off more.

[Kacchan]: kirishima didn’t try anything, did he?  

That one made me raise an eyebrow.

What’s that supposed to mean? Try anything?

Did Kirishima say something about us…?

[Izuku]: Kacchan, sorry for ghosting and dodging u today

[Izuku]: I just wanted to talk in person, so I figured I’d wait

[Kacchan]: what the fuck deku

[Kacchan]: what’s with this weird shit????

[Kacchan]: did kirishima do something to u?  

My eyes widened. Why was he asking that?

[Kacchan]: answer damn it

[Kacchan]: why do u need to talk in person??? why not just say it here?

[Kacchan]: what happened?

[Kacchan]: u at home????

[Kacchan]: i’m coming over  

Oh God. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything—now he’s gonna freak out and overthink everything! I just wanted to give him a sign of life so he wouldn’t feel guilty thinking I was upset. But there’s no way I’m texting him: Hey, I’m gay, okay? G-A-Y. I like dick D-I-C-K. Also, I shoved my tongue down your friend’s throat last night.

[Izuku]: Kacchan, everything’s fine, I swear!!

[Izuku]: What I need to say isn’t big or serious, just kinda important

[Izuku]: Well, maybe not that important… anyway, I don’t wanna text it

[Kacchan]: is it about uraraka??  

Man, I wanted to tell him to fuck off.

[Izuku]: No… it’s about me

[Izuku]: It’s not about anyone else, just me

Well, hooking up with Kirishima’s a bonus detail, but really, this is just about me.

[Izuku]: Don’t worry

[Kacchan]: lmaoooooooooooo

[Kacchan]: u build this huge suspense and tell me not to worry fuck u

[Kacchan]: asshole  

[Izuku]: Just stay calm okay?? And I’m not home, I’m in the art room

[Izuku]: Do your practice, alright? I’ll show up after it’s over

The “typing...” under Kacchan’s name went on forever. He’d type, stop, type, stop. I braced for a wall of text, but all I got was:

[Kacchan]: ok

[Kacchan]: show up  

Even without tone, I could feel the command in it. I could picture him frowning, jaw clenched, before locking his phone and turning to his teammates to start practice.

I bit my lower lip, the day-long anxiety slamming back into me full force.

Sitting at my easel, I stared at my half-finished canvas, brush still in hand, face blank, barely blinking.

Was I really going to tell Kacchan I’m gay…?

I know he’s not some jerk who’d ditch me over it, but the nerves were still unavoidable.

It’s like studying your ass off for a test but still feeling your body go cold right before walking into the room. You know you’ve prepared, you know you’ll do fine, but why are you so nervous…?

That’s how I felt.

I didn’t know what to expect. What would he say? Would he laugh? Would he be shocked, eyes wide? Or would he react like he did when Kirishima came out—just shrug it off with a “whatever”?

I sighed, letting my head drop forward.

It’s okay, Izuku. It’s okay.

You know you’ve got nothing left to lose.

~*~

I don’t know how many deep breaths I had to take on the way to the court. My legs wobbled—sometimes I thought they’d gone numb, just following my brain’s autopilot commands.

It took me twice as long to get there, all because I dragged my feet like an ant the whole way.

When the massive basketball court building loomed into view, there was Kacchan, alone in the middle of that huge space, bouncing the ball casually and shooting hoops, probably just killing time. I’d never seen the court like this—completely empty. It looked even bigger now, but no less intimidating.

My chest tightened seeing him there by himself. I’d run through a thousand scenarios in my head about what I’d say if I got here and he was surrounded by people, so I felt a flicker of relief that hurdle was already cleared. But it wasn’t enough to steady my legs or slow my racing heart. The nerves were still just as bad.

I took a deep breath and stepped onto that polished floor, lifting my head to flash him a shaky smile, trying to act normal. I dropped my backpack near the hoop’s support structure.

“It’s d-different…” I cleared my throat when my voice came out scratchy. He glanced at me but kept bouncing the ball, tossing it toward the basket—nailing it almost every time, no surprise. “It’s different being on this court when it’s empty…” I looked around for a second. My voice echoed in the space, even though I was speaking softly. “It’s cool. I’ve never been here like this.”

“That’s ‘cause you took forever. Everyone’s in the locker room,” he said, turning toward me. “Think fast.” He faked throwing the ball at me, and I panicked, throwing my arms up to shield myself. His laugh rang out, and I huffed, feeling pathetic.

“You’re as funny and original as a fifth-grader,” I said, dropping my guard and standing normally. Seeing him crack up like that, I couldn’t help but laugh too, which eased my tension a bit. “Idiot. You could’ve gone to shower with the others, you know? You didn’t have to wait for me…”

“It’s fine, I like it.” He showed off, spinning the ball on one finger like it was nothing. I’ve always wanted to do that but never could. For him, it’s as easy as hopscotch.

“Where’s Uraraka? You said yesterday you two were hanging out after class today.”

“We are. She wanted to change in the bathroom with her friends, so you know how it is—she’ll take forever.” We laughed together.

Silence settled between us, broken only by the sharp, loud bounce of the heavy ball on the floor. In the quiet of the empty court, it echoed like it was mic’d up. I swallowed hard, shoving my hands into the pockets of my black jacket—decked out with blue, green, red, and white accents.

Shit.

How was I supposed to bring this up?

I lowered my head, biting my lower lip.

My fingers twisted in my pockets, out of his sight.

I don’t have it in me to just blurt out, “Hey, nice day, huh? I’m gay.”

Goddamn, Kirishima. Sometimes I envy your balls.

“We should take advantage of the empty court so I can teach you some shots,” Kacchan said suddenly. I was so wound up worrying about what to say that I flinched at his voice. Luckily, he didn’t notice—he was focused on the ball. “You never want to ‘cause of the team, but they’re not here now. Honestly, we could always stay late if you want.”

Oh, sure. Like you’ve got time for me.

He started walking toward me, bouncing the ball casually. I gave a tiny smile and raised my hands for him to toss it, but when he got close and moved to hand it over, he stopped.

“But first, you’ve got something to tell me, right?”

My eyes widened slightly, a forced, nervous laugh slipping out.

I scratched the back of my neck.

Shit, here it is.

I’d already told him I had something important to say—there was no backing out now.

“So… uh…” I was laughing purely from nerves and anxiety—God, what do I do, what do I do? I’d never felt like this before.

It was like I was backed into a corner, being grilled by an aggressive cop, when really, everything was pretty chill. Except inside me.

“Kacchan… uh, I—”

“It’s about Kirishima, isn’t it?”

My eyes shot wide.

He stared at me, dead serious.

“You two disappeared at the party. At first, I bought that half-assed ‘Izuku got sick and I helped’ act, but after I dropped Uraraka off and got home, I sat there staring at nothing, thinking about that bullshit, and it hit me—it made no fucking sense.” I shook from head to toe. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! “I know that little shit Kirishima—he’s not the type to play good guy. He was grinning more than usual today, and for some reason, I really wanted to punch his face in.” He dropped the ball, crossing his arms.

The sound of it bouncing alone faded into the distance until it stopped completely.

He took a step forward, and even though he wasn’t that close, I felt pinned, like his nose was an inch from my forehead.

“I know he’s into you—has been for a while. He’s made that clear to me a few times.” My eyes widened, stunned by that bombshell. Kirishima told Kacchan that…? How? When? Why didn’t Kacchan tell me? “So, spill it. Did he touch you?” My silence made his serious gaze darken. I swallowed hard, twisting my fingers in my jacket. His jaw clenched, muscles tensing. “Let me rephrase. Did he force you?”

My eyes bulged.

Why was he saying all this…?

“N-no! No, Kacchan, of course not!” I shot back instantly, flailing my hands in denial. “I told you, it’s not about anyone else—it’s about me.” I was floored by his questions. Why would he think that? Why would he assume Kirishima assaulted me? “How can you say that? Don’t you trust him? You’re friends!”

“Yeah, we’re friends. That bastard’s good for that. But that’s it.” My eyes grew even wider. “He’s a total dick to the people he hooks up with—you know that, I’ve told you.” Yeah, Kacchan’s mentioned it in passing while we chatted, but he never went deep into it. I know Kirishima’s rep as a player, that he’s kind of a jerk sometimes, but it doesn’t really bother me—I’m not looking for anything serious with him. “He knows what to do and how to do, what to say to get what he wants. But honestly, he just wants to fuck and ditch.” He yawned, dropping the tense stance and putting his hands on his hips. “He can be pretty shitty sometimes. I saw him force himself on a girl once at a party. He claimed she wanted it ‘cause she wasn’t fighting back… but fuck, anyone could see she was drunk off her ass.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes at the memory. “I almost threw down with him that day. We had a huge fight. I like Kirishima and all, but… yeah, I don’t trust him.” Suddenly, his serious gaze locked back on me. I swallowed hard, feeling even more nervous than before. “Anyway… no idea why I’m telling you all this—it’s not like you’d hook up with him. You’re straight.” He laughed, crossing his arms again. I forced a laugh back, cold sweat trickling down my temple. “Alright, if he didn’t try anything, then what’s up? ‘Cause that shitty story he tried to sell me didn’t stick, and—”

“We hooked up,” I blurted out.

And as the seconds ticked by, my eyes widening, I realized what had just slipped out.

It was stronger than me—automatic, uncontrollable. Like my brain, in a panic, forced me to spit it out before the nerves ate me alive and I made up some other excuse to dodge this.

My eyes weren’t as wide as Kacchan’s, though.

He stared at me like I was a ghost. I’m a ghost to the rest of the school too—no one sees me. But Kacchan was seeing me. Really seeing me, unblinking, eyes shocked, practically popping out like they’d roll across the court. His eyelids were frozen, just like every muscle in his body. I’d even say his face lost color. Like I was, truly, a ghost.

The ghost everyone ignored, while he saw it for the first time.

I swallowed hard, nearly giving in to the urge to drop my head.

Fuck, fuck, shit, shit!

I was shaking so bad I thought my legs might give out and I’d collapse.

“We… w-we hooked up. Me and Kirishima. We did,” I repeated, because he was staring like he expected me to say it was a joke. I bit my lip, nervous but holding his gaze, and hugged myself. “Because I’m gay, Kacchan.” There. It’s out. No turning back now. “I’ve never been with a girl either—I only told you that so you wouldn’t suspect anything. So… that’s it. That’s what I wanted to tell you. Actually, this is the first time I’ve told anyone.” I couldn’t handle his heavy stare anymore. I dropped my head, staring at my feet. My legs still shook, along with every inch of me.

I blinked rapidly, like I was trying to snap myself back to reality. The reality screaming: Yes, Izuku. You’re really doing this. You’re finally telling Kacchan who you really are.

Why did it have to be so hard? Why don’t straight people have to go around announcing they’re straight? Why did I feel like I was confessing to a crime…?

Fucking hell. What a goddamn mess.

“Sorry… I know you’re probably confused. You must be wondering why I didn’t just tell you sooner,” I went on, desperation creeping in as his silence sliced through me, my eyes still glued to my beat-up blue sneakers. “I know I should’ve told you before, but… I couldn’t. I don’t know, I… I was s-scared.” I bit my lip and, hesitantly but curious, lifted my head to look at him. His face was blank now—no shock, no anger, no amusement—just staring at me, serious. “Say something, please.” I shifted my weight between my feet, running a hand over my neck, a shaky, weak smile trembling on my lips.

“Scared of what? What were you scared of, Deku?” Katsuki frowned, a disbelieving smirk tugging at his face. “What’d you think I’d do? Get pissed? Blow up and point in your face, yelling at you to stop being a fag?!” My eyes widened. “Beat you up or slap a ‘kick this fag’ sign on your back? Is that what you thought I’d do?!”

Embarrassed, I dropped my head, twisting my fingers together.

You don’t get it, Kacchan.

And you won’t.

Because I can’t tell you that the whole reason for this, all my fear…

Was just because I like you so fucking much.

“You really think I’m anything like the worms crawling around this shitty school, Deku?! Is that what you think of me?!” No, no, no! Goddamn it, he’s taking this all wrong! “A few days ago, you asked if we’re best friends—well, I’m throwing that back at you now. Are we best friends or not, damn it? Have I ever given you a reason to think I’m some homophobic piece of shit?!”

Thank God the court’s huge and the locker room’s far off—no risk of anyone overhearing. But I wasn’t even worried about that right now.

All I wanted was for him to listen. To understand me.

I don’t blame him—he doesn’t know my reasons, doesn’t know what’s in my head. I can imagine how he feels. We’ve been friends for so long—if I were him, I’d be shocked too, and maybe, like him, I’d feel insulted thinking my best friend didn’t trust me.

But just as I get him, I need him to get me.

Because more than anything, I just need his support right now.

I just need to leave this court knowing we’re okay.

“Kacchan, for God’s sake, no! It’s not about that!” I stepped forward, grabbing both his arms tightly. He had to tilt his head down a bit to meet my eyes, his lips pressed into a thin line. My gaze darted over his face, frantic, searching for something to hold onto. “I… fuck, I’ve never doubted what an amazing person you are.”

I tried—I swear I tried. I told myself a thousand times I wouldn’t cry. But right then, my eyes started to burn, and I had to take a deep breath.

“But you’ve got to understand… I’m not you. My life isn’t like yours. People don’t respect me the way they respect you.” And the tears, silent, finally slipped out. “I walk around constantly scared that someone could grab me by the arm and just beat me up inside a janitor’s closet. And I’m sure that hasn’t happened only because of you—because I have you. And you don’t know how much I hate feeling like I’m nobody without you around.” My nails dug into his arms without me realizing.

My lips quivered, and I couldn’t tell if my glasses were fogging up or if it was just the tears. His eyes scanned my face, his brows trembling slightly. Yeah, I knew that look.

Pity.

I pressed my lips together, my jaw shaking nonstop.

“So yeah, I was scared. Scared that somehow, even if you didn’t mean to, you might change with me. Sorry it took me so long to tell you—I know you must feel betrayed—but please, you’ve got to underst—”

Suddenly, his body crashed into mine with a loud thud. His strong arms nearly cracked my ribs as they wrapped around my small frame in a predatory bear hug, squeezing me against him with so much force I almost couldn’t breathe—but it wasn’t bad, not at all.

We rarely hug. I mean, real hugs.

A hug like the one he was giving me right then, though…

It was the first time.

I clung to his back desperately, my hands gripping the thin, sweaty fabric of his tank top so hard I could’ve torn it, but that didn’t matter to either of us.

I buried my face in his broad shoulder as he pressed his into the crook of my neck. We were locked so tightly together, so… so close. I could feel the strength of that hug from the tips of his fingers digging into my back to his nose pressing deep against my skin.

“I know, I know, Deku… I know, I get it… I get it, I understand everything…” he murmured nonstop, almost like a sacred mantra to calm me down. “Fuck, sorry for flipping out like that… I just… I dunno, I felt like an idiot, but not because of you. I felt like a fucking moron for not seeing it sooner. And I ended up taking my anger at myself out on you.” My eyes were still watery, but I swallowed the agonizing lump in my throat—I didn’t want to break down in front of him. “You’ve got every reason to be scared. I can’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for you to come tell me this, so… thank you.” I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the tears. I was shaking so much, and every time a tiny sob slipped out, Kacchan held me tighter…

That moment felt like a dream. No, actually, it was like I’d died and gone to heaven.

There we were, alone in that court. No one to stare or whisper about us. No Uraraka to interrupt. No world watching.

Just Kacchan and me, hugging like we needed it to survive—at least, that’s how it felt to me. Like we were the only people in the world, like no one else could step onto that court. Like the world outside those walls couldn’t touch us.

Now, with my chest light after saying what’d been stuck inside me for so long, rooted in my core and eating away at me bit by bit without me even noticing.

It was unbelievable.

Unbelievably good.

Unbelievably freeing.

I felt alive, like I’d been trapped in a cocoon until now without knowing it.

It was funny—I hadn’t grabbed a megaphone and shouted it to the universe. I’d just told Kacchan, and that already felt like enough.

If I’d known I’d feel this free, I wouldn’t have put it off so long.

If I’d known he’d hug me this tight, I’d have told him the second we met.

God, I just wanted to stay there, hugging him, just him and me, forever.

“And sorry for putting all this shitty pressure on you… making you feel like you had to tell me this. It shouldn’t be like that.” His rough voice came out muffled against my neck, sending tingles through my skin as I felt every tiny movement of his lips, his breath tickling me softly. And since he was almost whispering, his voice was huskier than usual, almost like a quiet, beautiful song. I closed my eyes, sighing softly, just wanting to soak in the moment. I didn’t need his apologies, didn’t need anything… just him. “Fuck, now I feel like punching myself for all the times I tried to push some girl on you…” I let out a little amused laugh, still pressed against his shoulder with my arms holding him tight. I slipped off my glasses for a second, wiping the foggy lenses on his shirt before sliding them back on. “I felt that, you know.”

I laughed at his dumb comment, wiping one last tear with my finger.

It’s okay. Everything’s okay now.

Your friendship means more to me than anything, Kacchan.

My urge to kiss you doesn’t come close to how much I just want you around, as a friend or whatever. I just want us together, in any way we can be.

Because I love you. As a friend, as a man, as a human being.

He let out a laugh too, and just when I thought the hug couldn’t get any tighter, he proved those muscles aren’t just for show. This time, I actually heard my bones creak. I let out a shaky laugh, struggling to breathe.

“K-Kacchan… okay, I’m not crying anymore…! Y-you can l-let go…”

And he did. I only realized my feet weren’t fully on the ground when he released me, and I nearly stumbled, my heels finally hitting the floor.

He laughed, probably at how small and clumsy I am. That was confirmed when he ruffled my hair gently but briefly, like I was some porcelain doll.

I blushed but tried to hide it by giving him a bored look, playfully swatting his hand away. He laughed again.

“You… you really never suspected?” I asked, genuinely curious, though also wanting to cut through the awkwardness.

“Honestly, yeah, I did.” What? “At your place that time I asked if you’d ever hooked up with a girl, if you wanted me to set you up… I was actually testing you.” Huh? A test? I had no idea. “Didn’t really work out…”

“Hey, I know a girl…” Oh no. No, no. Please don’t start this. “I think she’s your type. Cute, short, into anime. She’s in the chess club or something…”

He laughed, scratching the back of his neck, looking a bit sheepish. I’d never tire of seeing Bakugo Katsuki embarrassed—those rare, gorgeous moments! I wanted to pinch his cheeks, but he’d definitely curse me out.

“Oh my God, seriously?” I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hold back a laugh, shaking my head. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah. I should’ve just asked if you’re into guys, but I was worried you’d think I was an asshole for questioning your straightness just ‘cause you’re shy and don’t hook up. So I convinced myself you’re straight, and that was that.”

“Got it.”

Silence fell over us.

I looked away, then back after five seconds. We both looked away at the same time and laughed together. I hid my hands behind my back, lacing my fingers. I started tracing circles on the floor with my foot, trying to shake off the lingering embarrassment. I bit my lip to stifle a smile threatening to break out.

I didn’t know what to do, how to act, what to say—it was just so weird standing there with everything out in the open, or almost everything. He definitely didn’t need to know it all. Weird, but still so good.

“Deku.” My name came out firm from his mouth. I looked up, still a bit flustered and awkward. But I was caught off guard by how serious he looked. I hadn’t expected that after such a light moment seconds ago. “So… you hooked up with Kirishima.” I waited, nodding slowly, unsure where he was going with this. Kacchan pressed his lips together. He didn’t seem even a little happy about it, and that gave me a sinking feeling, especially after everything he’d said about Kirishima. “And you deciding to tell me you’re gay—does that have anything to do with him?” I stayed quiet, not sure how to take that question.

“Well… I—”

“You’re not thinking about getting involved with him, are you?”

I swallowed hard under his piercing stare.

Why was he suddenly so serious?

I lowered my head.

I know Kirishima’s no prince, and I’m not planning anything serious with him—I don’t feel anything for him beyond some casual attraction. But yeah, since he’s shown interest in keeping things going… I don’t see why not. I don’t care if I’m not the only one he’s with—I just want to have fun and meet people too.

Then we started hearing the guys trickling out of the locker room. But like I said, the court’s big and far from there. They could see us, but not hear us.

“Look, Kacchan… I get what you’re saying, I know Kirishima’s—”

“If you know, then don’t mess with him.”

I was thrown by the harsh edge in his voice. It was almost a command.

I frowned.

I didn’t like where this was going.

“Listen, it’s not like I’m gonna date him, okay? I don’t like him like that, I just—”

“I don’t care if you just wanna make out with him, fuck him, or whatever—I’m telling you not to do anything with him, period.” What the hell? Who does he think he is?! “He’s not good for you. He’ll hurt you, even if it’s not serious. He’s a pro at screwing shit up, trust me.”

I let out a nasal laugh.

“Kacchan, I know Kirishima’s got his flaws—thanks for spelling it out again. I appreciate your concern, really.” He crossed his arms, like he knew I’d say something he wouldn’t like. “But I’m not a kid. I’m not dreaming of marrying him, having two kids and a dog—I just wanna have fun, like you’ve been doing.”

He laughed loudly.

“Don’t compare yourself to me, Deku. The difference between us is huge.”

Okay, now he’d officially pissed me off.

To think we were in such a good vibe not even five minutes ago…

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I put my hands on my hips, a far cry from the timid, fragile stance earlier. “Explain.”

“Don’t play dumb—you know exactly what I mean, damn it. I can handle myself. You can’t.”

The mocking laugh that burst out of me was unstoppable. I was floored by that ridiculous spiel.

Who does he think he is, deciding who I can or can’t be with? Who does he think he is, giving me that smug look and barking orders? Have I ever meddled in his love life? Judged the girls he hooks up with? Gotten in his way? I’d never even flirted with anyone before Kirishima, and he thinks it’s fair to just shut me down like this? What right does he have? Me, who’s been twisting myself in knots over Uraraka, never let it get to my head—not once, no matter how much I wanted to! And now, out of nowhere, he’s telling me I can’t be with Kirishima just because he’s flawed like everyone else? That’s it?

“Who do you think you are? My dad?” I stomped my foot, glaring at him defiantly. “I’ll hook up with whoever I want.”

He crossed his arms with such a smug, superior stance that I wanted to kick him square in the balls.

“Stop trying to play tough, Deku. I’m saying this for your own good, damn it. You can talk big all you want, but I know you. You’re naive—you can puff up your chest and say you just wanna have fun and blah, blah, blah, but I know damn well you’re too sensitive for casual shit. You’ll get attached to him, and he’ll fuck you over! Why’s that so hard to get through your thick skull? Are you that fucking stupid?!”

“Then let him fuck me over, I don’t care!!” Shit, I was almost yelling now. I could still hear the chatter and footsteps of the guys near the locker room. “You wanna keep me in a sealed jar under your holy protection? Think I’m some kid who needs babysitting? Think I’m your little brother?” My sarcasm was so sharp I barely recognized myself—if I weren’t so pissed, I wouldn’t have believed it was me talking. And I could tell I’d finally gotten under his skin. “I’ll do whatever the hell I want with my damn life!”

He stormed forward, stopping just inches from me. I had to crane my neck to match his furious glare. He was practically foaming at the mouth, steam pouring from his ears, as livid as I was. He’d never acted like this with me before—never squared up to me like this.

“I give it a week… no, three days before he screws you and tosses you aside.” My eyes widened at the audacity of that bullshit. How could he…? “And I’m being generous.”

“Goddamn it, shut up! Did you hear what you just said?!” I shoved him hard. “Don’t think you can do whatever you want just because you’re my only friend, Kacchan. You think I’ve got no choice but to swallow everything you say, huh? I’m not gonna bow my head like some soldier taking orders from his commander just to keep the peace.” His words only confirmed what I already knew. He thinks I’m useless too, thinks I depend on him. And as much as that wasn’t exactly a lie, it pissed me off that he was using it to control me. If he wanted to rile me up, he’d damn well succeeded. “In fact, everything you just said only makes me wanna fuck him even more.”

Holy shit, I was out of my mind. I’d never say something like that if I were thinking straight, but I was so, so fucking mad!

I flinched when he suddenly grabbed my arms—not hard enough to hurt, but enough to pin me in place. My eyes widened.

“You’re not hooking up with him, Deku! YOU’RE NOT!” he roared in my face, his raspy voice deeper than ever, echoing endlessly through the court. And in that moment, with the sudden dead silence around us, I knew the whole team—distant as they were—had heard him.

They all went quiet. I couldn’t see them, but I knew they were staring.

Kacchan didn’t seem to give a damn. He didn’t budge, didn’t flinch, just kept his fingers digging into my arms and his blazing red eyes locked on mine.

I know his explosive side, but he’d never turned it on me.

Until now.

“Let go,” I muttered, dead serious, holding his gaze. He didn’t waver. “Now.”

After a few seconds of a lethal stare-down, his hands released me.

We kept glaring at each other in a suffocating silence.

I was pissed, but more than that, disappointed that he really saw me as so fragile.

Even you think I’m useless, Kacchan?

I mean, I know I am.

But I didn’t expect you to think it too. Well, I did… I just hoped you didn’t.

I’ll prove everyone wrong. You included, Kacchan. And myself too.

“Kat!” Suddenly, that sweet, cutesy voice cut through the air. The team’s chatter picked back up, but it was fading—meaning they were finally leaving. I was too furious with Kacchan to even care about being embarrassed that they’d witnessed that weird-ass scene.

We could hear her quick, excited steps getting closer, but Katsuki didn’t take his eyes off me or show any sign of going to her.

I plastered on a wide, fake-ass grin.

“Your girl’s calling you, Kat.” His brows furrowed hard. “Guess she’s the one you should be looking after, right?”

He kept staring me down like he wanted to snap my neck, even as her radiant figure popped up beside us, panting.

“Wow, I’m so out of shape! I ran a little and I’m already like this,” she said between giggles, her breath uneven. “Sorry I took so long, Kat—my friends wanted to fix their makeup in the bathroom, chat a bit, you know how it is, right?” She laughed, brushing that damn brown strand out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. That goddamn habit—I swear, one day I’ll snip it off with scissors when she’s not looking. “Did I miss anything?” She glanced between us, still laughing.

I turned from him to her, forcing a smile.

“Oh, nothing. Kacchan was just telling me how excited he is to hang out with you today… he’s got big plans.” I looked back at him, flashing my teeth in a mocking grin and adjusting my glasses. “Right, Kacchan?”

His stare was so cold and cutting it made me shiver, but I didn’t let it show.

He kept looking at me like he wanted to strangle me. His anger was obvious—at least to me. I wouldn’t say he was shocked or paralyzed; it was more like, I’ll stand here glaring until you drop this bullshit about Kirishima, you little shit.

But he clearly knew he couldn’t keep up that game forever.

Judging by her expression—and anyone else who’d walked in right then—Uraraka picked up on the weird, tense vibe too, though she didn’t ask anything.

“Let’s go,” Katsuki said to her, still focused entirely on me. He didn’t even try to pretend things were fine—he just brushed past me, deliberately slamming his shoulder into mine like one of those bullies knocking books out of a nerd’s hands in the halls. “Don’t come crying to me later,” he muttered, not caring if Ochako heard. Then he marched off toward the locker room.

Trust me, the last thing I’ll do is beg for your protection, Kacchan.

And—get this—he didn’t even glance back at Uraraka once.

That’s what shocked me most.

Was he that pissed at me that he couldn’t be bothered to give her any attention?

She stood there beside me, gaping as he walked away. I huffed, shoving my hands deep into my jacket pockets, muttering curses under my breath I didn’t even understand.

She turned to me, wide-eyed.

“What was that, Deku?” she asked.

“No idea. You’ll have to ask him.”

“Did you guys fight?”

I stared into space, not really in the mood to answer, but I knew I couldn’t just leave her hanging.

As I opened my mouth to say something, strong arms wrapped around me from behind, jolting my body forward with the impact.

My eyes widened, and then I heard that loud laugh.

“Shrimp that sleeps gets swept away,” Kirishima said, cracking up.

I didn’t laugh at his dumb joke—I was too pissed, still processing my blowout with Katsuki.

Why can’t anything go right? I finally open up, come out, he takes it well, we have a good moment, hug it out… and then it all goes to shit. How did this happen?

I closed my eyes, huffing, completely tuning out the people around me.

Goddamn it, why’s it so wrong to hook up with Kirishima? Does Kacchan really think he’s that bad an influence? Or is this just some dumb imaginary big-brother complex? Ugh, what a pain in the ass! He’s off enjoying himself with Uraraka, and now that I finally have someone interested in me, he’s just gonna sulk and turn his back? Is that it?

I clenched my fists.

Fine then.

I’m not caving to his stupid tantrum.

If he wants to avoid me or whatever, let him. I was already alone before, while he was busy making out with his girlfriend in the cafeteria. I was already alone walking the halls while he was off doing who-knows-what with her.

Fuck him.

Funny how, just minutes ago, I was here melting with love, going on about how much his friendship means to me…

But I’m sure as hell not gonna stand around like a clown putting up with this crap, no matter how important he is to me.

“What bit you, huh?” Kirishima’s voice snapped me back to reality. “I just saw Bakugo—he looked pissed as hell. Tried to high-five him, and he didn’t even glance at me.” He laughed. “You told him?”

“Told him what?” Uraraka was still here?

“Our Izuku here…” Kirishima slid beside me, draping an arm over my shoulders. I was still half-spaced out, though I tuned into their conversation. “Is gay.” And that’s what he said, just like that, grinning wide at her. “So manly, huh?”

I whipped my head around to gape at the redhead, my cheeks instantly blazing hotter than the Sahara. Not that I care at this point if Ochako or the whole world knows—everyone who matters already does. But I was still embarrassed and shocked that Kirishima just threw it out there like that, no filter.

Judging by her face, Uraraka looked like she’d just been told we’d murdered someone—her eyes bounced between us like she might be next.

“Oh… th-that’s… that’s—”

“Surprised, cutie?” Kirishima cut her off, laughing with pure mockery while I just wanted to bury my face in a hole. “You guys are really blind, aww.”

“Actually, I’m not surprised about that,” she said, her face still a mix of confusion. “I’m just surprised that’s why Kat reacted like that…”

“He’s not mad about that,” I shot back firmly, grabbing both their attention. I didn’t want any misunderstandings. “It’s something else…” I flicked a quick glance at Kirishima before looking back at her. He didn’t say anything, but I knew he got it. “Anyway, it’s dumb… but Kacchan can be real childish sometimes.”

“Oh.” She nodded like she understood, her eyes darting between us again. “And you two…” She pointed at us. “Are you hooking up?”

Kirishima and I turned to face each other at the same time.

We stared, unsure what to say.

Well, I didn’t know.

Then he shrugged and flashed a huge grin, turning back to her.

“Yeah, kinda like that,” he said casually.

I blushed, dipping my head a little.

And Uraraka apparently loved the news.

“Oh, that’s awesome! I’m happy for you, Deku!” She beamed, clapping her hands like Kirishima had just announced we were dating. Her eyes sparkled. Seriously, why the over-the-top reaction? Why’d she only congratulate me? Do I really give off such a strong lonely loser vibe? Okay, I know she didn’t mean anything by it—maybe I was just taking my anger at Kacchan out on her—but goddamn, I wanted to roll my eyes so bad. “Now Kat can hang out with me guilt-free.” She tilted her head, giggling like it was some cute little joke, her eyes turning into crescents as her smile widened even more.

My jaw dropped.

Did she really just say that?!

DID THAT BITCH ACTUALLY HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE?!

“Speaking of him, I gotta go! He’s probably done showering. See ya!” And off she went, hopping away like a happy bunny with a carrot up its ass.

Okay, I don’t know what to think. Did she mean to jab at me, or was it just a clueless comment?

Knowing Uraraka, she wouldn’t hurt a fly…

But what if…?

No, no.

It was an accident. I’m sure.

“You gonna let that chick walk off like that?” I didn’t realize I was staring at the ground until Kirishima’s voice pulled me up. “Man, she thinks she’s hot shit. She just shat on your face, and you’re not even gonna yank her hair?”

“She… didn’t mean it,” I mumbled, still feeling like crap.

Even if, in her head, it was just a joke with no intent to hurt, it still stung. Because I knew there was some truth to it. If she said that, it’s because part of her—maybe unconsciously—really thinks that way.

I sighed heavily.

Kirishima laughed, mocking.

“Didn’t mean it is what I say when I go balls-deep after promising just the tip.” I shot him a bored look. “Come on, seriously. That girl’s the worst kind of person. I don’t even mind assholes—as long as they don’t pretend they’re not. She’s all about that perfect-girl act, and it pisses me off.”

“What are you even getting at?” I narrowed my eyes, not following where he was pulling this from.

“No wonder you and Katsuki get along so well. Two clueless idiots.” He laughed, rolling his eyes. “She’s obviously jealous of you and Bakugo.”

My eyes widened.

“Huh? Have you lost it, Kirishima?!” Seriously, sometimes I think he lives in his own fantasy world. “Why the hell would she be jealous of me? Kacchan doesn’t give a damn about me when she’s around.”

“And how would I know? Girls are like that, man. Possessive, you get it?” He waved his hands around. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. “They don’t even need a reason—they’re desperate to find one. It’s like their own little game, you know? Girls are weird, but they’re hot. Shame.”

“Shut up, moron.” I flicked his neck hard, making him yelp. “You don’t know Uraraka—she’s the kindest, sweetest person you’ll ever meet.”

“So kind and sweet she just told you to your face she’s glad she can have her boyfriend all to herself without you bugging them, aww.” He clasped his hands under his chin, faking a cutesy face. I huffed, turning away to grab my backpack off the floor. “Real sweetheart.”

“She didn’t mean it,” I said again, trying to convince myself. I slung the straps over my shoulders, sighing. I didn’t want to talk about Katsuki and Uraraka for another second. “Anyway, enough of this boring crap. What’re we doing?”

“My place, how about it?” He grinned wide, stepping closer with open arms. “Watch a movie on Netflix and stuff…”

I deadpanned.

Everyone knows Netflix and chill = sex.

“Kirishima, we’re not fucking,” I said flat-out.

He huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Forgot you’re basically a girl…”

“Goddamn, you’re a poet when you’re quiet.” I turned and started walking off the court. He laughed, jogging to catch up. “Might have to gag you to put up with you…”

“Go ahead—with my mouth shut, you’ll have no choice but to go down on my—OW, FUCK! Are you nuts?!” He yelled in pain after I socked him in the balls as he fell into step beside me. “You son of a bitch!”

I flashed him a smug grin.

“Now that your dick’s out of commission, guess I’ll have to shove my fist up your ass instead.”

Contrary to what I expected, he just threw his head back and laughed loud, slinging his arm over my shoulders again and pulling me close.

“You’re cool, shorty. I like you.”

“He knows what to do and how to do, what to say to get what he wants. But honestly, he just wants to fuck and ditch.”

I swallowed hard, gripping my backpack straps tight.

But I quickly shoved that stupid memory to the darkest corner of my mind.

~*~

“Oh, honey! You’re back already?” My mom’s soft, gentle voice echoed through the house as soon as I opened the front door.

Kirishima shot me a look that screamed “Your mom’s home?” But then she appeared from the kitchen, drying her hands on a dish towel. Her smile stretched ear to ear, her green eyes sparkling the moment they landed on the redhead beside me. “Who’s this, Izuku? A new friend?”

“Oh, Mom, this is Kirishima.” I gave a small smile. He grinned wide, winking at her. “Kirishima, this is my mom, Inko.”

“Hey, Auntie!” He stepped forward with open arms, not giving her a second to react before pulling her into a bear hug, even trying to lift her off the ground. My mom’s eyes widened, caught off guard and a little awkward with his overly familiar vibe. “Whoa, you’re heavier than you look, huh, Auntie? How’s that diet going?”

I slapped my hand to my forehead.

Holy shit, shut up.

I was so embarrassed I couldn’t even muster the energy to tell him off.

“Oh… yeah, I eat a lot,” she said, laughing nervously. Goddamn it. “I’m glad Izuku brought a new friend home.” She gave me a small smile. “Anyway, I’ll whip up some snacks for you—”

“No need, Mom. Thanks.” I stepped closer—after subtly shoving Kirishima aside—and wrapped her petite frame in a gentle but firm hug. “Don’t worry about it, okay? We’ll manage.”

“Alright, sweetie.” She beamed, her eyes squinting into little lines. So cute. “Just call if you need anything.” She was heading back to the kitchen when she turned one last time to smile at Kirishima. “And welcome! Make yourself at home, dear.” Then she was gone. My heart squeezed a little as I watched her walk away.

“Your mom’s so adorab—”

I cut him off by yanking his spiky red hair hard.

“Ow! What the hell, man?!” he growled, rubbing his scalp.

“Because you’re an idiot!” I snapped, huffing and dragging a hand down my face in frustration. “Like I said, you’re a poet when you’re quiet.” I rolled my eyes, brushing past him to head upstairs. “Come on, let’s go to my room.”

“Whoa, don’t gotta tell me twice.”

I didn’t want to go to the park with Kirishima, grab ice cream, or hit the movies like it was some date—and I knew he felt the same. We just wanted to make out and mess around a bit, but I wasn’t up for sex. So I wasn’t comfortable at his place. At mine, though, I could kick him out whenever I wanted if he crossed a line.

“Guess who texted me?” I heard Kirishima say, laughing, as he shut my bedroom door behind him. I was tossing our backpacks near the bed. “Seriously, did you hire Katsuki as your personal bodyguard or something?”

“Huh?” I turned to him, frowning, and my vision was instantly filled with his phone shoved in my face.

It was open to Kacchan’s chat.

[Bakubro]: dude

[Bakubro]: i swear if u hurt deku

[Bakubro]: i’ll make u regret ever stepping foot in this damn school

My eyes widened with every word, my cheeks flushing red.

He pulled the phone back, laughing as he reread the messages before pocketing it.

“For real, what a nagging asshole. What’s gotten into him, huh?” Kirishima chuckled, flopping onto my bed. “Guess that whole ‘he sees you as a brother’ thing is legit. I’ve got a sister too, and I don’t give a shit what she does with her pussy—honestly, I hope she gets laid so much it punches through her stomach. I even hook her up with my friends ‘cause they think she’s hot. But she doesn’t care. Pretty sure she’s a lesbian.”

“I don’t think Kacchan’s that overprotective… I think his issue’s just with you,” I said, thoughtful.

“Huh?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “I’ve never cockblocked him—why’s he cockblocking me now? Lack of empathy’s a bitch.”

“Dunno.” I sighed, sitting beside him. “Anyway, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Me neither.” His hand landed on my thigh, squeezing it. “C’mere.”

I wasn’t really in the mood for fooling around—everything that went down with Kacchan at school was still pounding my head—but I wasn’t about to let him ruin this for me.

He’s probably off having fun with Uraraka right now, so why can’t he just leave me alone and keep doing what he’s been doing? Does he feel good seeing me alone? Wants me to sit around like a dog with my tail between my legs, waiting for his scraps? Wants me to have no one but him?

I know that’s not his intention, but it still pisses me off that he’s trying to stop me from having experiences and throwing a fit like a kid.

Fuck you, Kacchan.

I’ll show you I’m not as fragile as you think.

At first, I really wasn’t into it.

But as time passed and Kirishima’s hands roamed my body—even over my clothes—I started feeling hot. Really hot.

He’s definitely a poet when he’s quiet. The longer we kissed, the better it got. And, as much as it embarrasses me to admit, I liked the dumb shit he whispered in my ear.

Is this how you feel when you're with her, Kacchan?

No, no. I’m sure you feel way better, because you’re in love with her. I bet the slightest brush of her breath on your ear makes you shiver. That her tiniest moan, her lightest touch sets you off. That your dick throbs in your pants every time she moans “Kat” in that melodic voice that’s just annoying to me now.

You said you hadn’t slept together yet, that she was scared because she’s a virgin…

But what about now? Have you crossed that line? Have you done it?

I snapped out of my thoughts when Kirishima’s strong hand grabbed my dick, but I quickly shut him down. I wasn’t ready for that, and while I liked messing around with him, he didn’t make me feel safe enough to go further.

He laughed and cracked a joke but backed off, and we stuck to kissing and wandering hands.

When I sent him home early that evening, my head felt a lot lighter. It made me realize I’d have regretted it big-time if I’d listened to Kacchan and ditched Kirishima earlier.

For the first time, I feel like a normal teenager—spending an afternoon making out instead of just buried in books, movies, and games. And it feels good.

But when I grabbed my phone and saw no messages from Kacchan, my refreshed mind got slammed with everything he’d said earlier.

I sighed heavily, sinking into my mattress.

Mom called out that dinner was ready, and before heading downstairs, I decided to take a quick shower to cool off.

And I had to jerk off to get rid of the hard-on Kirishima left me with.

But it wasn’t him I thought about as I gripped the swollen head of my dick, moaning low with my forehead pressed against the shower tiles, watching, almost hypnotized, as my cum slid down the wall until the last drop disappeared into the drain.

~*~

You know those dreams where you’re suddenly in the middle of school, naked, feeling horribly uncomfortable, and even though everyone can clearly see you’re naked, they all act like nothing’s wrong?

That’s how I felt walking into school the next day.

Everyone stared at me like I was naked but pretended I wasn’t.

It was uncomfortable, but not that much—after all, it’s not unusual for people to look at me like I’m from another planet. I think the initial unease came more from not expecting all those weird stares, but after Kacchan yelled “YOU’RE NOT HOOKING UP WITH HIM” in the middle of the court, I should’ve figured the gossip would spread like wildfire. I was just too busy cursing him out in my head to think about the rumors that’d start flying.

It’s fine, Izuku. You’re naked, totally bare.

Now just act like you’re not, like you always have.

The real shock, though, was reaching my classroom’s hallway and spotting Kacchan leaning against the wall by the door. His posture was relaxed, arms crossed, but there wasn’t a hint of calm on his face.

“Kacchan…?” I called as I approached, watching him lift his head to meet my eyes. I was still mad at him, but I didn’t expect my voice to slip out so soft and almost sweet. I’d rehearsed a bunch of sharp comebacks for when I saw him—how did I drop my guard so fast? Realizing that, I cleared my throat and quickly crossed my arms. “What are you doing here?”

“Come on, Deku…” He pushed off the wall, closing the distance between us. He tugged me by the arm a little to the side, away from the classroom door where students were pouring in and out. “You’re that pissed at me?”

I let out a disbelieving laugh.

“What do you think, huh?”

He sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Fuck… alright, my bad. Maybe I overdid it with how I talked to you, but… damn it…” He glanced around as he spoke, like he was too awkward to look me in the eye, but then he caught a group of people farther down the hall staring and whispering. His face hardened instantly. He crossed his arms, turned to face them, and lifted his chin in clear defiance. “Hey, you looking for something over here, assholes?” The group flinched, exchanging nervous glances. “How about I come over there and rearrange your fucking faces?”

They bolted, scurrying around the corner in a hurry.

Kacchan sighed, turning back to me.

“These fucking pricks… I can’t stand this school anymore. Good thing we’re graduating soon…” he muttered, more to himself than me.

I sighed.

“Look, Kacchan, I’ve got class, okay?”

I only managed one step before he grabbed my wrist, pulling me back.

The halls were starting to empty out now.

Katsuki stared at me. There was frustration in his eyes—he looked annoyed, but I could tell he was trying to rein in his anger and not mess things up again.

“Deku, look, I’m sorry, alright? I went too hard on you yesterday, I know that.” He dipped his head for a second, letting out a breath before locking eyes with me again, steady. “But I’m not taking back what I said. You can hook up with anyone you want—why’d it have to be that asshole?”

I let out a nasal, mocking laugh.

“Anyone I want, you say?” The one I want is standing right in front of me. “Guess we live in different worlds, huh? You know damn well I’m not—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, have you heard yourself?” He scowled, his face twisting in disgust. “Holy shit, stop putting yourself down like that. You always said you don’t give a damn what people say, but now I see you’re starting to buy into their bullshit.”

“Because maybe it’s true!” I snapped. The hallway was completely empty now, save for a stray student or two wandering around. “Everyone says I’m nothing without you, and it’s true. Without you, I’ve got no one—you know that. Now that I finally have someone who wants to be with me, you wanna take that away?”

He kept staring, serious and silent, his lips pressed tight.

“Please, just stick with your girlfriend and let me do what I want, okay?”

“And if what you want is the dumbest fucking mistake ever, I’m supposed to just stand there with my arms crossed watching you screw yourself over? That’s what you want, huh?!”

“Then you know what you can do?” I flashed a sarcastic grin. “Grab a pen and paper and make a list of all the suitors you think are worthy of me—sound good, Dad?”

Kacchan clenched his jaw, staring me down. Anger pulsed through every inch of his face, a vein popping on his forehead.

We locked eyes for a few more seconds, and when he didn’t say anything, I turned and headed into my classroom, apologizing to the teacher for being a little late.

I slumped into my seat with a deep sigh, flipping my book open to page 51 as the teacher droned on about stuff I couldn’t care less about.

Then my phone buzzed in my pocket.

I discreetly pulled it out, hiding it under the desk.

[Kiri]: your place again after class today?

[Izuku]: After class I’m studying at the library, exam week’s coming up

[Kiri]: damn, u know i’m dying to study too? ;D

[Kiri]: what a coincidence

Only Kirishima could make me laugh after another fight with Kacchan.

[Kiri]: wanna watch my practice then?

[Kiri]: we can hit the library after

I couldn’t hold back a smile, even though I tried.

My heart warmed a little, and I don’t know why.

[Izuku]: Okay

[Kiri]: practice is gonna be wild today

[Kiri]: bakubro’s pissed

I swallowed hard.

Was Kacchan like that because of me? Or did something happen with Uraraka yesterday?

I pocketed my phone with a sigh, starting to scribble down whatever the teacher was writing on the board.

~*~

As soon as the bell rang for break, I shot up from my seat. I had to pee bad and wanted to get it over with quick. Since I was already headed to the art room, I decided to use the bathroom nearby—it’s always emptier.

But I’d barely stepped off the last stair when someone yanked my arm hard. Before I could even process it, my mouth was overtaken by a fierce kiss. My eyes widened as my lips were invaded, and I caught a glimpse of red hair—Kirishima.

I shoved his chest, making him stumble back.

I glanced around fast, thanking God the hall was empty.

That floor’s always quieter during break since it’s where the club rooms are, but still, the fleeting thought of someone watching freaked me out.

Kirishima was laughing while I tried to catch my breath.

“Goddamn, what was that?” I said, still panting, wiping the trail of spit he’d left near my mouth.

“Wow, my princess.” He kept cracking up. I huffed. “What’s the problem?”

“Dunno, you just… caught me off guard.” I ended up laughing too, once the initial shock wore off. I can’t lie—the thrill of being kissed out of nowhere like that wasn’t bad at all. I liked how my heart raced. Never thought I’d be kissing at school, even if it lasted less than ten seconds. It felt like something out of a teen movie. “How’d you know I was here?”

“Honestly, my lit teacher asked me to talk to him during break. The lit room’s down there.” He pointed to the end of the hall. I followed his finger, nodding. “Then I saw you wandering around and couldn’t resist.” He flashed a sly grin.

I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“What’s your teacher want with you?”

“Think he’s gonna chew me out or something. Routine stuff, you know?”

“Got it.” I chuckled, adjusting my glasses—they’d slipped down my nose when he grabbed me like that. “You should take your studies more seriously, you know? We’re studying for real today—no funny business.”

He instantly deflated, huffing. I laughed.

“Man, you’re such a buzzkill, you know that?”

“Yeah, it’s my charm. Now go—I’ve gotta hit the bathroom. See you later.” As I started walking away, he darted in for a quick peck. I laughed, rolling my eyes. He joined me, tossing a playful wink before turning away completely.

My heart sped up, the flush creeping into my cheeks.

I dipped my head, shaking it with a nasal laugh.

Despite everything, I’m liking Kirishima. Not romantically, but I’m enjoying it. I don’t know if it’s loneliness or what, but I like his texts, his company, even the dumb shit he says—not all of it, obviously.

I headed to the bathroom, that goofy smile still lingering on my lips.

But as I passed the girls’ bathroom on the way to the guys’, I heard a familiar voice.

“I don’t know what’s up with Kat—he’s been so weird since yesterday.”

I froze.

That sweet, soft voice was low, muffled by the walls. Instinctively, unable to stop myself, I crept closer to the closed door.

“Girl, just fuck him already,” another voice chimed in—definitely one of her friends. “Plenty of girls would jump Bakugo in a heartbeat. How long you gonna keep that pussy on lockdown?”

“That’s exactly why!” Uraraka said. I furrowed my brow and pressed my ear harder against the door, my heart pounding. I’m not usually nosy, but I couldn’t help it. I felt nervous, like some American spy sneaking around Russians. “I know tons of girls would sleep with him at the drop of a hat—that’s why I’ve held off. To keep him interested.”

“You know you’ll have to play the innocent card when the time comes, right?” a third voice added. “Since you told him you’re a virgin.”

The bathroom erupted in laughter, mixed with Uraraka’s protests for them to stop.

My eyes widened so much my lids hurt, my heart skipping a beat.

What?

“Oh, it’s just a little white lie! I’ve only had sex once, and it sucked, so it doesn’t even count,” Ochako said, giggling with her friends. “You know how guys are—they love a virgin.”

“True, virginity’s like a guy’s fetish.”

More laughter rang out.

Holy shit.

What the hell did I just hear…?

I stood there, stunned, rooted in front of that bathroom.

My hands started trembling without me noticing.

“But I’m sleeping with him today. No more waiting,” Uraraka said with determination, sparking cheers from her friends. “Yesterday he came over—I said I wanted to study, you know how it is.” The girls laughed. “I was planning to tease him a bunch, but we barely got any studying done because he wouldn’t stop talking about Izuku, can you believe it? Ugh, he was acting so weird.”

My eyes were practically popping out, my throat dry as I swallowed.

“What? That scrawny little friend of his? The green-haired one?”

“He’s not that scrawny, stop it,” Uraraka said, laughing. “Yeah, him. Kat kept going on about how worried he was because Izuku apparently came out and now he’s messing around with Kirishima.” The girls mumbled something about how weird that was. “Exactly. He said something about Kirishima being a bad influence or whatever—I didn’t get it. Seriously, I was in a tight little pajama set right next to him, and he’s stressing over who his gay friend’s kissing? Ugh.” She let out a disbelieving laugh. Her friends sounded just as baffled. “I was so annoyed. Whatever. Today, I’m gonna fuck him so good he won’t be able to think about anything else.”

I stumbled back from the door, shaky.

My trembling hand went to my lips.

I dropped my head, staring at my sneakers, trying to process what I’d heard.

Was that really Uraraka?

No, it can’t be…

I don’t blame her for playing games to keep Katsuki hooked, but… lying to him like that?

I don’t think lying’s a crime—I lie too—but why lie about something so pointless? Lying about being a virgin…? So, uh, she’s probably lying about needing math help too.

Kirishima’s always spouting nonsense, but this time, he might not be so off.

It does seem like Uraraka’s crafting a different version of herself.

A version she thinks is perfect for Katsuki.

I don’t know, am I overreacting? Maybe, but my heart’s still racing. I’ve got a bad feeling.

Should I tell Kacchan?

No…

No.

That’s stupid.

I think it’s just my jealousy talking. I don’t wanna come off as the bitter guy trying to sabotage their relationship. It’s not like she’s committing a felony, and Kacchan wouldn’t stop liking her just because she lied about sucking at math and a few other little things. They’ll probably laugh about it someday when they’re solid.

Yeah…

Yeah, I can’t tell him.

He’s happy, right? That’s what matters.

But why’s my heart still pounding?

My chest hurts.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

I stepped into the guys’ bathroom and, with my fists clenched over the sink, stared at my reflection. Big, round black glasses. Freckles scattered across my face. Messy green hair I can’t even remember the last time I cut.

I swallowed hard, letting my head drop forward.

So… they’re having sex today.

I closed my eyes again and took another deep breath.

I looked back at my reflection.

So, Izuku, who are you saving your virginity for anyway?

What am I waiting for? I mean, there’s a hot, experienced guy into me—what better chance will I get? If my first time was with Kirishima, it’d probably be amazing.

So… what am I waiting for?

If Kacchan and Uraraka are fucking today, what am I gonna do? Cry in bed, wrapped in a pile of blankets, listening to Heather by Conan Gray?

No. Hell no.

I clenched my fists tighter, nails digging into my palms.

I pressed my lips together.

Yeah.

I’ve made up my mind.

I’m having sex with you today, Kirishima.

Chapter Text

When I stepped onto the basketball court that day, I swear, for a split second, it felt like all the guys—even the ball bouncing like crazy—froze to look at me.

I couldn’t tell if my brain was just freaking out or if everything actually stopped for a sec.

But then I looked up, and the sound of the ball slamming around hit me again, echoing off the huge court walls, mixed with sneakers squeaking on that slick, waxed floor. Nobody was staring—well, maybe one person.

Wait, no, two.

“Whoa, you really showed up!” The redhead’s voice cut through, all hyped up like a spotlight on me. I gave a half-smile, not really into it. The air felt heavy—not between me and him, but just… everywhere. Then my eyes hit Katsuki’s, and it all made sense. I gripped my backpack straps, sucked in a big breath, and dragged my feet over to Kirishima, who was jogging my way with this huge, goofy grin. “Thought you’d roll in at the end of practice or something.”

I’d been out of it since lunch, ever since I caught Uraraka’s bathroom chat with her friends.

Part of me felt weird, but another part was like, “She’s not that messed up, right?” She’s been crushing on him forever—can’t really blame her for bending the truth a bit, can you? Some lies are for a good reason, I guess. I mean, getting someone like Kacchan to notice you isn’t easy, and now that she’s got him, she’s gotta hold on tight, right? It’s not crazy—you see this stuff in teen movies all the time. And me? I get it. I like him too, and I’d kill to trade places with her. If I had even a shot, I might’ve played some tricks myself. She’s just a lovesick teen, that’s it. Though, lying about virginity and all that? Kinda over the top, if you ask me…

Still, it’s not a big deal, is it?

Should I tell Kacchan, though? I’m his friend.

He hates lies. Especially stupid ones.

I swallowed hard.

But spilling it to him? That feels off.

It wouldn’t be fair to her, you know?

And I’d feel like trash if I screwed things up between them.

Plus, Uraraka’s so awesome, so pretty, so… so lovable. I seriously doubt a few dumb lies would change how he feels.

So yeah, I figure it’s cool. She’s not doing anything wild. He makes her happy, she makes him happy—they’re happy. I don’t wanna look like the jealous jerk here.

Yup. Not gonna make a big deal out of nothing.

“But I trust you. We’ve shared so much already, right?”

I shut my eyes and sighed.

“But please, Izuku!” I turned back to her, confused by the sudden urgency in her voice. “Please don’t tell any of this to Bakugo, okay?”

Yeah. I’m keeping my mouth shut.

You deserve him. Way more than me or anybody else.

“I…” I shook my head to snap out of it. Kirishima tilted his head, laughing at how I’d zoned out for a sec. “I always come watch practice,” I said, like it was obvious, though my voice sounded kinda dead, even to me.

“Yeah, but you’ve been ghosting lately,” he shot back. He was smiling, but I could tell he was eyeing me like something was up.

I pressed my lips together, nodded a little, and looked away.

Guess I got here early. Practice hadn’t started—guys were just warming up, and Katsuki was over there showing Uraraka how to shoot.

But ever since I walked in, he’d been watching—half on her, half on me. Now that Kirishima was here, he wasn’t even hiding it. Even from across the court, I could see that vein popping on his forehead. Kacchan was locked on us, still helping her shoot—kinda half-assed, like he wasn’t into it—glancing at her every now and then to say something back. She was too pumped about sinking baskets to notice he was checked out, but anyone could tell he was all about me and Kirishima.

I rolled my eyes, figuring I’d just stare at my shoes, shifting my weight back and forth.

“He’s staring,” I muttered, my cheeks heating up. The team captain glaring at us was dragging everyone else’s eyes our way too, even if they acted like they didn’t care.

I still don’t get why Kacchan’s being such a dick about this. He knows he’s my only friend—why’s he gotta be so harsh? Does it boost his ego that I’ve got no one else? I don’t know. He says Kirishima’s bad news, but that doesn’t even feel legit. He’s not giving me any slack—doesn’t he get I need to meet other people? If Kirishima’s as sketchy as he says, I’ve gotta figure that out myself by hanging with him. Same for anyone. You’re gonna bump into people who mess you up in life—it’s normal. And honestly, I’d take that a million times over living locked away just to dodge getting hurt.

I want Kirishima to be cool with me, duh. I’m not gonna act like I’d be fine if he screws me over. But getting let down? That’s life. And even if nobody likes it, I wanna live. I’m not trying to date him or anything—just want a normal teenage life. Hang out, maybe kiss someone, make friends—like everyone else. I don’t even care if people keep messing with me, but I need some good stuff to balance the crap. I used to have Kacchan, and that felt like enough. But now? He’s not always gonna be there.

I’ve figured out people aren’t solid. They’re not your safe spot. They don’t stick around forever.

And that’s not their fault. It’s just how it works.

So, Kacchan, chill. Kirishima’s never gonna hurt me like you can.

Even if he turns out to be a total asshole, he still couldn’t hit me like you could.

So don’t sweat it, Kacchan.

“Let him stare,” Kirishima said with a shrug, cracking up after a quick look back. He turned to me with this big, dumb grin, eyebrow up, and pointed his thumb at Katsuki, who was scowling hard our way. “You see blood pouring out of his eyes too, or was that just me?”

I let out a little laugh at the goofy comment, rolling my eyes.

“Real talk, if I didn’t know Bakugo so well, I’d say he’s jealous of you,” Kirishima said, laughing like it was the funniest thing ever.

I froze, my stomach doing a flip. My heart skipped, and I forced a laugh to cover it.

The thought of Kacchan being jealous of me—even just as friends—makes my legs wobbly.

“Yeah, sure…” I shifted my weight, trying to play it cool. Trying to act like my dumb heart doesn’t jump at every little hint Kacchan might toss my way. “If I didn’t know him so well, maybe I’d think that too.”

He cracked up, stepping closer like it was no big deal, even though everyone totally noticed—and probably thought it was weird. I mean, they’d never seen me and Kirishima swap more than a couple words, and usually Kacchan’s the first one over. This time? He hadn’t even moved.

And Kirishima was loving the spotlight.

“C’mere,” he said, grabbing my arm near the shoulder and pulling me in. I knew he was going for a kiss, and I freaked—hands on his chest to stop him. He raised an eyebrow, smirking like he was eating it up. He knew exactly what was running through my head, but playing dumb was more fun for him. “What’s up?”

“Don’t mess with me, Kirishima,” I said, Katsuki’s sharp stare burning into us even from way over there. “You know I’m not cool with this in front of everybody.”

He laughed.

“And you know that shy-guy vibe of yours gets me going, right?”

I groaned, pushing at his stupid jacked chest.

“Seriously, why are you like this?” I shot back, then my eyes went wide as he grabbed both my wrists, pinning my arms down to my sides.

My throat went dry as he leaned in slow—too damn slow—with this smug grin, whispering right against my lips:

"Today, in the locker room, Bakugo passed by me and whispered a beautiful phrase. Wanna know what it was?" I swallowed hard, noticing how terrifying his smile was at that moment. "He said he’d stain the floor with my blood if I tried to mess with you." His wicked grin widened with every word spoken against my dry lips. My eyes widened even further. I was so nervous my heart nearly stopped. Nervous because Kirishima was way too close, nervous because we were starring in a scene like that on a court full of gossiping people, and most of all, nervous because, for the first time, I was the one receiving Kacchan’s infamous murderous glare. "And I confess I’m dying to see it happen."

But huh?

Kirishima’s craziness almost borders on insanity.

I took a deep breath, trying to quickly figure out how I could handle this in a mature, cautious, and calm way.

But how could I think calmly when I felt the air getting heavier and heavier above my head?

"Kirish—"

"You know, I could kiss you right now, but you’re clearly looking like a kid searching for his mommy, and I’d rather Bakubro witness a scene worthy of a romance movie than some lame kiss, don’t you think?" I arched an eyebrow, confused by the direction this conversation was taking. His fingers slid from my wrists up to my elbows in a subtle caress. "So how about you remember all the jealousy you feel from having to watch the guy you like rubbing up against that chubby skirt-chaser and use that to kiss me with some anger?"

My gaze slipped from Kirishima’s sly face to land on the happy couple a good few meters away from us. Kacchan wasn’t looking at me anymore, but he didn’t have the same light, carefree expression he usually wore when he was with Uraraka. Her arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and she was smiling broadly, running her fingers through his spiky blond hair. She was talking, and he was just listening, staring at her with a small, almost forced smile, one hand resting on her waist and the ball tucked under his arm.

When his eyes met mine again, she stole his attention by pulling his face into a firm peck.

My chest trembled.

All the memories from the past few weeks crashed into me without mercy or pity.

At that moment, I didn’t just swallow hard—I swallowed every ounce of worry or nervousness I might’ve felt right along with it.

I’m tired of holding back because of others. Tired of worrying about what everyone thinks, because they don’t deserve my concern.

Tired of being the fragile little boy everyone wants me to be.

And when Katsuki’s red eyes turned back to me, I pressed my lips into a tight, thin line.

Before I could even think twice, I propelled myself forward and, on my tiptoes, threw myself at Kirishima, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck as my lips molded to his almost instantly.

It all happened so fast. His tongue explored every tiny corner of my mouth, and though to anyone watching it might’ve looked like I was giving in just as much, my mouth had taken on a life of its own, detached from the rest of my body—because I was thinking about everything except that kiss.

I didn’t care anymore if everyone saw.

Because I only wanted one person to see.

And I wanted her to know I’m not the helpless little angel her mind loves to idealize.

And, like I said, it was all so quick. It probably didn’t even last five seconds.

Because a rough hand clamped onto the collar of Kirishima’s shirt and yanked him back with a sudden jolt, nearly making him stumble over his own feet.

"Practice starts now." Those thick, gruff words slipped from Kacchan’s mouth like they were no big deal, as if he hadn’t just interrupted our kiss out of nowhere. Yet his blazing glare, the bulging vein on his forehead, and the twitch in his eye said everything on their own.

I let out a nasal laugh and slowly shook my head in disbelief, utterly stunned by the ridiculous scene he was making.

Kacchan really just pulled Kirishima away from me?

"Funny." Kirishima chuckled, wiping his wet mouth with the back of his hand before crossing his arms in a clear stance of indifference and superiority—and trust me, it takes a lot of guts to stand up to Kacchan like that. "You don’t seem too worried about practice time when you’re busy with that chubby chick over there."

When the blond’s piercing eyes locked onto mine, almost as if accusing me of something, those ruby irises cut so deep they tore into my soul, making the weight of reality crash down on me as I glanced around.

Normally, I’d feel cornered. Not out of fear of Kacchan, but because he was staring at me like I’d committed a crime, which made everyone else look at me the same way.

Everyone’s eyes were fixed on us, fearful of the next act in this soap opera.

Including Uraraka.

Yeah, normally I’d feel cornered. I’d blush and hug myself like I was cold.

But that interruption from Kacchan, like he owned the damn place, pissed me off so much that I instinctively puffed out my chest, crossed my arms, and raised an eyebrow at him.

And he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, turning away from me to face Kirishima, who wasn’t even trying to hide how pleased and surprised he was by Katsuki’s loss of control—if that’s even the right word.

"I’m the captain." That statement sounded like a period, like it left no room for any counterattack from the other side. That murderous glint returned to his eyes with full force. "I decide when the damn practice starts." He flung the ball at his friend’s chest—and at that moment, they could’ve been labeled anything but friends.

The ball was thrown at Kirishima with such force that when he caught it, his feet were forced two steps back.

They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before the redhead broke into an amused grin, letting out a short nasal laugh as he prepared to turn away.

"At your service, captain." And he walked off with a playful bow, laughing as he joined the others.

At least I could relax a little when I saw that all the boys’ attention shifted to the ball and they forgot about us for a bit—but only because they knew Kacchan gets pissed as hell with nosy people, and everyone could see he was already stressed enough.

"For someone who hates people sticking their noses where they don’t belong, you sure are good at it." I didn’t wait for a reply and started heading toward the bleachers, but he grabbed my wrist. Of course he wouldn’t let me walk away without giving me a lecture, like the big brother I didn’t even know I had.

"Go fuck yourself, asshole, you practically begged for this. You think I don’t know you? You just want to piss me off."

I laughed loudly in mockery.

"Yeah, Kacchan, how’d you figure that out?" I yanked my arm back hard. "All of this is just because of you, because the world revolves around you, oh great captain."

"Goddamn it, didn’t you think for a second about all the shit I told you?" He followed after me as I started walking away. I didn’t want to hear another word. "Fuck, can you look at me?!"

The rage that surged through me was so intense that my body spun around in a flash, facing him and pointing a finger in his face.

"I want you to go to hell!!" I shouted, and surely everyone heard, even if they pretended not to. It was almost a funny scene, if you stopped to look at it from the outside. Everyone playing like nothing was happening, the team captain lecturing a scrawny nerd for wanting to kiss someone, and his girlfriend just watching from the bleachers like she had front-row seats.

Seriously, what a joke.

"If, from now on, every time you talk to me it’s about this same damn thing, then please, don’t ever speak to me again."

I knew I’d cry my eyes out later when facing the consequences of those words.

But I wouldn’t take them back.

I love him, but I won’t let him control me like this. My life is mine, only mine.

And if he wants to try steering my ship, I’ll have to throw him overboard.

I was surprised, though, when Kacchan’s furious expression turned into one of disappointment. He stared at me with a certain glint in his eyes, and it wasn’t that terrifying glint from before.

"So that’s how you’re gonna treat me?" He pressed his lips together, furrowing his brows. "I just want what’s fucking best for you, is that so hard to understand?"

I lowered my head, laughing.

Funny how you didn’t think about “what’s best for me” when you left me alone to go make out with Uraraka all over the place. And that’s fine, I get it. It’s not like I want you to drop your life for me. I don’t have the right to demand that.

Just like you don’t.

I understood you.

You’re the one who can’t understand me.

"That’s something my dad would say, if I had one." I lifted my head to face him with a sarcastic smile. "Wanna apply for the job?"

And the anger took over his face again.

His fists clenched.

And I didn’t let him spout any more nonsense.

"Didn’t you interrupt my kiss because of your precious practice?" I glanced around for a second, watching the boys already playing a warm-up match—after all, no practice is serious without the captain on the court. "Go on, captain."

I turned my back on him, heading toward the bleachers.

Uraraka was there, sitting near the edge, looking at me with a small smile. I could tell she wasn’t as happy as usual.

I didn’t want to talk to her. I didn’t want to answer questions like "what happened?" or have any kind of conversation about Kacchan. I knew she might find it weird that I’d rather sit alone than with her, but you know what?

I’m tired of prioritizing what people might think over what I actually want.

So I sat somewhere random, far away from her.

I took out my notebook, my pencil, and crossed my legs. That’s how I spent the whole practice: making a thousand scribbles and hating every single one.

Or at least, that’s how I planned to spend the whole practice, if it weren’t for Uraraka, who, half an hour later, decided to sit next to me.

I swallowed a frustrated sigh that tried to escape.

"Hi, Deku." And there she goes again, jumping on the bandwagon and calling me the same nickname Kacchan uses.

I’m more impatient than usual today, I think that’s pretty obvious by now.

"Hi." I replied curtly, not lifting my eyes from my notebook.

Poor thing, it wasn’t her fault, but damn it, if I sat far away, isn’t it obvious I’m not in the mood to chat?

She stayed quiet for a while, and even though I didn’t look at her, I knew she was watching the practice.

"I think Kat really cares a lot about you, huh?"

"He can save all that care for his kid, when he has one."

She laughed.

But it wasn’t a joke, huh.

"Sometimes I imagine what a kid of mine and his would be like."

What?

I pretended not to hear and kept scribbling.

"Oh, sorry, I know that sounds pretty dumb." She laughed. "I can’t help it. I’m the type who bumps into someone on the street and already starts writing a whole fanfic in my head." She said between laughs, and just to not come off as rude, I joined her a little.

I could even relate to what she was saying, but the last thing I wanted to hear—first off, I didn’t want to hear anything, but since I had to—was the girlfriend of the guy I like talking about the romantic fanfic she’d built in her head with him.

"Anyway… I came to ask how you’re doing. I’ve noticed you two have been off lately."

Wow, are you the new Sherlock Holmes?

"Yeah, we’re not doing great." I replied, drawing a stick figure crossing the street and a truck running it over. "He thinks I’m his puppet or something." I let it slip in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Oh, don’t worry, it’ll pass." She waved her hand dismissively. "Kat doesn’t have siblings, so I think he sees you as the little brother he’d like to have. He’s really protective of the people he cares about, right? I admire that about him a lot."

"Hmm… I guess so…" I replied boredly, not in the mood to say anything. Next to the truck, I added a meteor crashing down and blowing everything up.

"But relax, it’ll all work out. He’ll calm down eventually, it’s just because he’s not used to seeing you with someone." She laughed. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I knew she didn’t mean any harm, but I just wanted to be left alone. "I’ll help you with that. I’ll try to spend more time with him so he won’t bother you."

Wow, what a generous soul we have here, huh?

Look at the huge sacrifice she’s making for me, my God, it’s truly admirable!

If she plans to spend more time with him than she already does, she might as well move into his house.

"Damn it, would you rather let the other team score than pass the ball to me?" Suddenly, Kirishima’s irritated voice drew our attention to the scene unfolding on the court.

"I do whatever the hell I want with the damn ball. I’ll spit on it if I feel like it." Kacchan shot back without missing a beat, sharp as ever. I saw the girl next to me tense up almost at the same time the tension gripped my body too. Kirishima let out a nasal laugh, incredulous at the blond’s words, who, after shocking everyone with his harshness, just went back to dribbling the ball. "Learn to catch the ball and stop whining. Let’s keep going." With his brows deeply furrowed, he tossed the ball to one of the teammates while throwing a cutting glare at his friend—if I could even still call them that.

A few low chuckles echoed from some of the teammates.

Kirishima was never one to let Kacchan’s rudeness get to him much, but this time was different. Maybe because it was a different situation too. It wasn’t just playful, healthy banter anymore, and everyone could see that clearly.

For the first time, I witnessed a speechless Kirishima, angry in a way I’d never seen—his clenched fists and deadly glare proved it. I was surprised because I’d never seen that look on his face before. It scared me.

I worried something more serious might happen, but I felt relieved when the redhead just went back to playing, swallowing that insult dry.

And the game went on like that, with a heavy tension that everyone completely ignored, even though they all knew it was there, loud and clear.

Uraraka and I fell into silence after that, broken every now and then by some awestruck comments she made about how well Kacchan played, while I just nodded absently, my eyes focused on the scribbles I was making in the notebook on my knees.

When practice ended and everyone headed to the locker room in a noisy chatter, I didn’t know whether to thank the heavens or feel nervous.

Kirishima walked toward the locker room, talking with one of his teammates amid loud laughter and wide grins. Suddenly, he glanced at me as he passed by, throwing a wink my way. A bit awkwardly, I waved back.

Apparently, he’d already returned to his usual self, and that made me happy. Kacchan can be stubborn as hell when he wants to be. Once he gets fixated on something, it takes forever for him to let it go. When something gets in his head, no one in the universe can get it out. Kirishima, though, seemed to be the opposite of that, which was a quality I really liked.

He was calm, as if his best friend hadn’t rudely avoided him the entire game and shot him sharp glares. I couldn’t say the same about Kacchan’s state, who, farther back, was huffing and messing up his hair, walking lazily while staring at the ground with boredom, looking exhausted. A couple of teammates were with him, but he didn’t seem interested in their conversation.

And when our eyes met, I quickly looked away, stuffing my things back into my backpack.

I knew that, being next to Uraraka, Kacchan would come over to us once he left the locker room, so I stood up fast and slung my backpack over my shoulders.

"I’m heading out, see ya." I said, flashing a tight-lipped smile and, without waiting for a reply, started walking toward the exit.

"Bye, Deku!" I heard her cute, cheerful voice call out. "I’ll help you, you’ll see!"

I huffed.

Yeah, my patience is definitely at its limit today.

I leaned against the wall near the exit.

As people started leaving, a few tossed some jabs my way as they passed.

"Must be tough handling two dicks at once, huh?"

"You’re a greedy one, hm?"

I never said anything. I never clapped back at stuff like that, because I knew it wasn’t worth it.

But I was so pissed and impatient that I didn’t think twice before saying:

"You guys are so brave, huh? Why don’t you say that when Kacchan’s around?"

They laughed but didn’t respond.

I rolled my eyes and stepped away from the door a bit, but stayed there to wait for Kirishima since we’d agreed to go to the library together.

Kacchan came out of the locker room first. He walked over to Uraraka, who was already standing in the bleachers waiting for him, greeting him with a tight hug and a cheek-splitting smile, as if she hadn’t seen him in weeks. He grabbed her backpack and slung it over one of his broad shoulders, exposed by his tank top, while his own backpack hung on the other. Even from that distance, I could easily read the happiness plastered all over her face, all giddy over that simple gesture of his.

He used to do that for me too, when we’d leave his practices together.

I lifted my chin, staring at the ceiling to hold back the lump in my throat.

My eyes stung.

I took a few deep breaths, finally managing to pull myself together.

The two of them started walking toward the exit, and that’s when I realized they’d pass by me. Before I could even start panicking about it, Kirishima finally came out of the locker room, scanning the area for me. I stepped away from the wall and waved at him, and he broke into a wide grin, jogging over.

Kirishima’s hot. In any other situation, I’d be thanking the heavens for a guy like him wanting me. But right now, that’s one of the last things on my mind.

"Let’s go?" he said, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"Go where?" The gruff question came from behind.

I turned to face the couple, rolling my eyes, but before I could snap back with a "none of your business," Kirishima answered with a friendly smile:

"To the library."

Katsuki furrowed his brow.

"To do what?"

"Study, duh."

"And since when do you study, asshole?" He raised an eyebrow at the redhead. "There’s not even air in that head of yours."

"Kat, let’s go?" Uraraka stepped in, slipping her arm under his and crossing them. There was so much anticipation in her eyes that anyone could see how crazy she was about Kacchan.

But he didn’t even glance at her. He shifted his gaze between me and Kirishima, finally saying:

"Then we’ll study together."

My eyes widened, and I wasn’t the only one. The girl looked just as shocked as I was.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I blurted out, outraged.

"Uraraka and I were already planning to study today anyway. Since you guys are studying too, it’ll be more people to help each other and more knowledge to share, right?" He flashed a forced smile at me. Tsk, asshole. "I’m just making the most of it."

I couldn’t hide my grimace of disgust.

Or my tongue:

"Go fu—"

"Let’s do it." Kirishima?!

I stared at him, baffled, and he just gave me a smile and a shrug.

Seriously, does he actually enjoy this mess?!

I rolled my eyes.

"Fine by me too," Uraraka said with a small smile, but who was she kidding? I could see in her eyes she didn’t want this—she just didn’t want to go against Katsuki, maybe.

Finally, I shot a death glare at the blond, who returned it in kind.

I rolled my eyes again and, feeling cornered, could only growl in frustration. I grabbed Kirishima by the wrist and turned away, heading to the library with the other two trailing behind us.

Hell, fuck, shit, damn, ass!

Kacchan, you fucking buzzkill!

Goddamn it, he wants to control me so bad that he’s willing to give up his time with Uraraka for it?!

I don’t get it.

He’s taking this obsession with Kirishima way too far.

I stormed into the library, shoving the door open in a huff, but immediately got scolded by the librarian and shrank in embarrassment. I gave her a small bow as an apology and, tail between my legs, hurried over to an empty rectangular table by the window. I loved that spot because the sunlight hit it just right.

I claimed my seat by the window. Kirishima sat next to me, Kacchan across from me, and Uraraka next to him, facing Kirishima.

I could feel Kacchan’s eyes on me, but I didn’t give him an opening to talk. I pulled my books out of my backpack and spread them across the table, not even glancing up at him. I watched Uraraka for a moment. She was taking out her stuff too, setting it on the table, looking a little awkward despite trying to hide it. Kirishima, on the other hand, surprisingly seemed excited about studying—I couldn’t tell if it was about the studying itself or this pathetic situation we were in.

Kacchan propped his elbow on the table, resting his cheek in his hand. He looked like he had zero interest in studying, even though he was the one who suggested this group thing.

"How about we start with math?" Uraraka suggested with a smile, trying to lift the mood—which was clearly trashed and run over by a garbage truck—between us. "There’s no one better than Kat to teach us. I actually understand it better when he explains it than when the teacher does." She laughed, resting her head on his shoulder. "Right, Kat?"

He gave a weak shrug.

"If you say so…" He flashed a faint smile—more like he was just trying not to seem too dry—without showing his teeth.

"It’s true!" She laughed, giving him a quick peck before sitting back up and starting to open her books and notebooks. "So, how about we start with chapter five?"

"Go ahead, I’d rather study biology." I said flatly, no nonsense, grabbing my notebook with all my notes and pulling it onto my lap as I leaned back in my chair. "I’m terrible at memorizing all these names…"

"I can help you. What do you struggle with?" Kacchan jumped in, earning a slightly confused look from the girl beside him.

What the hell is his problem?

No, I know what his damn problem is. He’s here to keep an eye on me and make sure I don’t get with Kirishima. Besides being annoying as fuck, it doesn’t even make sense! He can’t watch us all the time anyway, so what does he think he’s gonna accomplish with this? What the hell is going through his head?!

Well, whatever. I was still set on my plans for tonight. I was definitely going to hook up with Kirishima, and that’s something Kacchan couldn’t ruin. In fact, all his insistence on keeping me away from Kirishima just makes me want to defy him even more. And anyway, he’ll be too busy screwing Uraraka to think about anything else, right?

I forced a smile at Kacchan, then dropped my gaze back to the notebook in my hands.

"Don’t worry, I’ll study with Kirishima. Help Uraraka, Katsuki."

Silence.

Awkward, heavy silence.

I made a point of using his first name to let him know just how furious he was making me. I hadn’t called him that in ages, not since the start of our friendship, to be exact. Calling him Kacchan had always been so natural that I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d said Katsuki. Even in our arguments—always silly, never reaching the level of fighting like we were now—I’d never stopped calling him Kacchan.

So, even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel the impact it had on him. The tension at the table was palpable.

It was only broken by the sound of Kirishima’s chair scraping closer to mine.

He leaned toward me and rested his muscular arm on my chair, letting me feel his skin brushing against my covered back.

"It’s gonna be tough focusing on all this paper with you next to me, but I’ll try, I swear," Kirishima murmured, as if he meant it just for me, but obviously everyone heard. And despite how stone-faced I was, I couldn’t hold back a little laugh at that dumb comment. Only Kirishima could whip up a rainbow in the middle of a storm.

"We’re here to study, not for you two to fuck around," Kacchan, of course, had to ruin the damn moment.

I’d been keeping my head down the whole time, precisely to avoid locking eyes with him.

But at that moment, I looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"Mind your own studying, and I’ll mind mine," I shot back, sharp. I was really pissed. I’d never tried to mess with Kacchan and Ochako, no matter how jealous I felt. I’d never tried to get in his way with any girl, for that matter. And now that I finally have someone, he comes in acting like a damn selfish jerk.

Maybe he’s not as great as I thought after all.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms on the table, leaning forward slightly as a result.

"What, you got a degree in fifth-grade comebacks or something?"

"I’ve got a PhD, sweetheart."

And there was that twitch in his eye again.

The tension was so thick the air felt dense enough to slice in half.

Kirishima covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a laugh, while Uraraka tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, looking awkward.

And Kacchan just stared at me, dead serious, jaw clenched.

I rolled my eyes and turned my focus solely back to my notebook.

"Anyway, let’s study," I said, putting an end to it. "That’s what we’re here for."

And finally, the sound of pages flipping filled the air.

I held back a heavy sigh.

Seriously, huh?

~*~*~

Twenty minutes had passed when I got up to look for a morphology book.

Truth be told, it was just an excuse to get away from them for a bit.

Anyone who walked into the library and saw me at that table would probably think I was super focused on my studies, face buried in my books, but you know when you’re reading something and forget to actually process what you’re reading? That was me right then. I was aware of everything—the sound of a bird chirping outside, even—except the book in my hands.

At first, I tried helping Kirishima, but then he started drawing dicks everywhere: in my notebooks, on the book flaps, on the table, on the chair… so I just gave up and left it to God.

All because of those two clowns in front of us.

This wasn’t what I’d planned for this afternoon, not by a long shot. I’d built a whole fanfic in my head: Kirishima would lose interest in studying, I’d insist, then he’d pull annoying pranks that’d make me laugh, and I’d say if he got a certain number of questions right, I’d do anything he wanted, blah, blah, blah, and we’d end up kissing behind a bookshelf, which would be a warm-up for tonight—well, that’s what I’d been planning.

But now, the situation was completely different.

And I was out of patience.

Every now and then, Kacchan would bump his feet against mine under the table, and I knew it was on purpose—he wanted to get my attention or piss me off, maybe both, who knows what was going through that sick head of his. When I finally stomped hard and discreetly on his foot, he stopped the nonsense.

Yeah, he got what he wanted.

He managed to genuinely piss me off.

When I stepped into one of the countless aisles of giant shelves, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief, out of their sight.

I leaned against one of the shelves, covering my face with both hands.

I was pissed for a thousand reasons. Pissed because Kacchan was being selfish, because he was meddling in my life and messing things up with Kirishima, pissed because I had to watch Uraraka use any excuse to run her hands all over him every chance she got…

Goddamn it.

What a fucking mess.

I don’t know what Katsuki’s trying to pull with all this, honestly. Does he think he’s going to change my mind like this? That he’ll manage to keep me away from Kirishima this way? Because all he’s doing is making me hate him more and more.

I ended up caving under the pressure and, without thinking too much, agreed to join this ridiculous study group… I should’ve just grabbed Kirishima’s hand and taken him straight to my place, done. Simple.

But the anger didn’t let me think straight.

I let out a heavy sigh.

I’d made up my mind—I’d grab a morphology book and leave. I’m not going to keep putting up with situations I don’t want to deal with anymore.

When I asked the grumpy librarian about the biology section and morphology books, she just said everything was perfectly labeled on the shelves and I’d find it easily, but five minutes had passed, and I couldn’t find anything related to what I was looking for.

I was about to give up… until I felt a strong presence behind me.

An arm reached up over my head, grabbing a book from high up near the top of the shelf.

My eyes widened, and I instinctively hunched my shoulders because I knew who it was.

"Look up next time," the gruff voice sounded even deeper now that it was so close, sending shivers down my neck. "Garden gnome."

I cleared my throat and immediately stepped back, turning to face Kacchan, who casually held out the thick book to me. I stared at his face with boredom and quickly snatched it from his hand.

"What are you doing here? Watching me wasn’t enough, so you decided to follow me too?"

He sighed, rolling his eyes.

"You were taking too long, so I came to check if you were okay or, I dunno, testing how many books you could shove up your ass." Normally, I’d have laughed at that joke, but right then, I didn’t find it funny at all. "And I’m not really in the mood to study, to be honest." He shrugged, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his loose sweatpants. The dark red tank top was open at the sides, and if my mind weren’t so clouded with anger, I might’ve spent some time discreetly admiring the strong muscles on display. He always wore these comfy clothes after basketball practice—I’ll admit, that was one of my favorite parts of watching Kacchan’s training sessions.

"Well, I didn’t come here to hook up with the delinquents from class A-C, and I’m not testing how many books fit up my butt." I flashed a sarcastic smile. "Alright, thanks, Katsuki." I hugged the book to my chest and started walking. I didn’t want to talk to him.

But of course, he wouldn’t let the chance slip.

He grabbed my wrist, pulling me into a full 360° spin until I was facing him again.

Fury blazed in his eyes, which already carried the natural color of rage.

"Who the hell are you calling Katsuki, huh?!"

The sheer indignation in his thick voice would’ve sent me into a fit of laughter if I weren’t so pissed.

"You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?"

"Isn’t that your name?" I tried yanking my arm back, but he wouldn’t let go. "What should I call you then? Asshole, maybe?"

Kacchan narrowed his eyes, stunned.

"Damn it, Deku, how long are you gonna keep treating me like this?"

"I should be asking you that!" I raised my voice, furious. Our eyes locked like they were in a silent territorial standoff. "How long are you gonna keep treating me like your little pet?!"

He took a step forward and opened his mouth to snap back, but then seemed to think better of it and stopped himself. He closed his eyes and let his head drop forward, a sigh escaping. He looked tired.

He let go of my wrist and looked at me.

"Fine, you win." He raised his hands in surrender. "Enough, I’ve done my part, my conscience is clear. Do whatever the fuck you want with your damn ass. And I’ll get to say ‘I told you so’ with the biggest fucking grin."

I let out an incredulous laugh, stepping back.

I was discovering a new side of him that I didn’t like one bit.

"Is that your way of apologizing?"

"I’ve already apologized for what I needed to apologize for, but I’m not gonna apologize for caring about you."

I looked away, swallowing hard as my heart stumbled in my chest.

But I quickly pulled myself together—I couldn’t let myself get swayed by such dumb, rehearsed words. It was all just talk.

I let out a mocking laugh.

"Caring about me? You call this caring?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Because I think it’s more like selfishness!"

"You won’t see it that way when he—"

"You say you’ve apologized, but you think you don’t owe me an apology for meddling in my life like this, acting like you have the right to decide things for me? Coming to study with us at the library just to mess things up?! Not even my mom butts into my life the way you are right now! Who do you think you are?!" My eyes widened with how stunned I was by his attitude. "Get a grip, man! Haven’t you noticed you’re talking to me like I’m a kid?!"

And he looked just as irritated.

"One of us has to think in this damn mess, and I care about you since you clearly don’t care about yourself!"

"Your concern doesn’t give you the—"

I cut myself off when I realized we were almost yelling, and we were still in a library. It’d be a matter of seconds before the librarian showed up to chew us out. I took a deep breath and, now a bit calmer, continued in a quieter but still heated tone:

"You could’ve shown your concern some other way. Your concern doesn’t give you the right to act like you’re my dad."

"Stop with this fucking ‘daddy’ bullshit, damn it," he growled, stepping closer. "Stop treating me like I’m the villain in this crap—it’s not fair. You know damn well I’m the last person in this shitty school who—"

"What do you want me to call you, then? You pick." I cut off his self-pitying rant and sidestepped him, heading back to the table to grab my stuff and get Kirishima so we could leave. Screw this. "How about ‘little brother’?"

I froze, though, when his arm shot through the air in front of me, his hand slamming hard against the shelf beside me, blocking my path.

My eyes widened, my whole body trembling from the inside out, and when I turned my head toward him, my legs felt like jelly.

He tilted his head down to meet my gaze, brows furrowed in anger, with that usual twitch in his left eye.

He was so close that if anyone walked in and caught us now, they’d think anything but that we were arguing. His outstretched arm, just inches from my face, was tense, the veins bulging and obvious. I’d never cursed a tank top as much as I did in that moment. My heart raced, a shiver twisted my stomach, and I froze under his Medusa-like stare.

I didn’t know a look of pure rage and impatience could turn me on so much. Yeah, I got turned on—don’t ask me why, I’m not proud of it. And it definitely wasn’t the right moment for that.

Seriously, we were in the middle of a fight! What was I thinking…?!

"Cut it out, for real. It’s annoying," he gritted through his teeth. "Don’t talk to me like that."

I tried to act like his closeness didn’t faze me at all.

"Or what?" I let out a nasal laugh, incredulous at his bossy tone. I tilted my head to the side, flashing a cute but mocking smile. "Gonna ground me, Daddy?"

And then he slammed his free hand against the shelf on my other side, making me jump from the shock and hit my back against the furniture, knocking a few books to the floor. Trapping me like that, he leaned forward, bringing his face so close to mine that I swallowed hard again, the saliva scratching my throat as it went down.

My eyes flicked briefly to his lips, but the fear of getting caught made the glance last less than a second.

My heart was about to burst, my chest rising and falling a little faster, and I even thought he might hit me.

But the tension lingered.

And, at least for me, it wasn’t the same tension as before.

It was more…

Sexual…?

Sexual only in my head, of course.

I’d have known how to react better if he’d hit me, because I definitely wasn’t prepared for what came next:

"Yeah, if I were your damn dad, I’d ground you the whole fucking day, I’d punish you like hell, in every possible and impossible way, all the time…" Suddenly, his face was so close that his hot breath hit my mouth roughly. His blazing eyes stayed locked on mine, and I couldn’t breathe. I tried stepping back to get away, but I only pressed myself harder against the shelf. I couldn’t stop my gaze from dropping to his lips again, damn it. "You can bet I’d make your ass purple from how much I’d spank it."

And there it was, I got hard.

An electric jolt shot through my whole body, starting deep inside me and taking over every cell in my face.

I stood there, frozen like an idiot, not knowing how to react. My hands shook, and I could’ve lost the strength in my legs any second.

And it seemed the weight of realization hit Kacchan too, because his sharp eyes, locked on mine, slowly widened as he processed what he’d said. Then he pulled his arms back and stepped away fast, like a leopard.

When he moved, I let out the breath I hadn’t even noticed I was holding.

With my eyes completely bugged out, I stared at him.

"Okay, th-that…" Was he blushing…? "That… that came out a little wrong." He let out an awkward laugh, dragging a hand over his face. He wouldn’t look at me anymore, a stark contrast to the predatory stance from just seconds ago. I was still wide-eyed, unresponsive—though I couldn’t say the same for my lower half. "Shit, it’s just…" He looked at me, sighing heavily. "You really get under my skin sometimes…" I swallowed hard, looking away. "Sorry. Forget I said that, seriously."

I wish I could forget, but my brain’s definitely going to replay this moment every time I jerk off.

My cheeks were burning, and I didn’t know what to say.

God.

God!

I knew he’d said it without thinking and didn’t mean it like that—he hadn’t intended the double entendre—but still, God…!

Damn it, heart, stop beating so fast!!

I wouldn’t mind having a heart attack and passing out right there if it meant not having to face the embarrassed blond in front of me.

I hugged the morphology book tight against my chest.

I lowered my head, staring at my beat-up sneakers.

I swallowed hard.

"Y-you… should pick all that up," was all I said, referring to the books scattered on the floor.

Before the moment could get even more awkward, I hurried out of there.

I left the library and locked myself in the first bathroom I found.

And you can probably guess what I went in there to do.

[Izuku]: Sorry for disappearing, had to hit the bathroom

[Izuku]: Stomachache

Don’t judge me for getting so worked up over so little—I’m still just a seventeen-year-old virgin, after all.

And when your platonic crush is right there, so close, pinning you against a bookshelf and saying he’d give your ass a good spanking—even if it’s not meant sexually—it’s not exactly easy to handle.

But damn it.

Why do you have to be like this, Kacchan?!

What the hell!

Just when I’m starting to get over you little by little, you go and trip me up!

[Kiri]: no worries, babe

[Kiri]: still in the bathroom?

[Kiri]: want company? ;)

[Izuku]: Grab my stuff, I’m waiting out front of the library

I hope he doesn’t think it’s weird or ask questions about it.

I wasn’t in the mood to go back in there and face Uraraka, especially Kacchan.

[Izuku]: Let’s go to my place

[Kiri]: now we’re speaking the same language lol

But in the end, I wouldn’t let any of this mess with me. Because it only affects me, not him.

He’d still sleep with Uraraka tonight. He’d do it with a clear conscience, have a peaceful night, and wake up fine, even after screwing with my head big time.

And maybe I shouldn’t base my decision to hook up with Kirishima on what they’re doing or not, but I just can’t stand the thought of spending the night twiddling my thumbs while Uraraka’s out there sucking everything but her own fingers.

I won’t let Katsuki mess with me and Kirishima any more than he already has today, not even in my thoughts.

I’m not giving him that little taste of victory, no way.

I’m done being the fragile, helpless, sheltered kid everyone wants me to be.

~*~*~

"Izuku, honey, is something wrong?"

My mom asked out of the blue while I was preparing some snacks for me and Kirishima, who was waiting for me in my room.

I frowned as I looked at her, finishing filling the glasses with soda.

"I don’t get it, Mom."

She turned to me with a sweet smile after drying her hands with a cloth once she finished washing the dishes.

"You and Katsuki. Are you two okay?"

I tried to hold back a sigh, but even then, I couldn’t hide the distress that instantly took over my face after her gentle words.

"Why do you say that?" I asked in a murmur, already knowing the answer, looking away.

"He used to come here all the time, and now you’ve only been bringing this new friend of yours… don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that you’re making more friends, really, I’m so happy about that!" The cheerful smile on her face quickly shifted to a worried expression. "But you and Katsuki were always so close… did something happen, by any chance?"

I stared into her big, shiny eyes for what felt like an eternity in my head.

I seriously considered telling her the truth. I was almost spilling everything. From my one-sided feelings for him to how his selfish meddling had driven us apart.

The idea of finally saying everything I’d never said felt tempting and freeing, but in the end, just as I was about to open my mouth, my tongue got tangled at the back of my throat, and I stopped myself.

I wasn’t ready for that kind of conversation right now.

So, I settled for giving her a small smile, lifting the silver tray in my arms in a way that made it clear I was ready to leave the kitchen.

"Everything’s fine, he’s just been kind of busy with his new girlfriend…"

"Girlfriend?" Her eyes widened, looking oddly shocked. "He’s dating? You didn’t mention anything…"

"Oh… well, you know, it’s just…" I took one hand off the tray to scratch the back of my neck, an obvious sign that the topic made me a little uncomfortable. "It’s not official, you know? He hasn’t asked her out yet, so I didn’t say anything…"

"Hm." Her evaluating gaze made me nervous. I gave her a weak smile to cover it up, but it didn’t change her look one bit. "And you’re okay, honey?"

I frowned, suddenly feeling anxious.

What did she mean by that?

Her stare sent a tingling sensation through my stomach.

I couldn’t tell if it was a look that said, "Are you okay with your best friend sidelining you for this girl?" or more like, "Are you okay with the guy you like sidelining you for this girl?"

"What do you mean, Mom?" The question slipped out in a faint, nervous tone by accident.

She gave me a small, closed-lip smile.

And in that moment, I felt pathetic.

Because in that moment, I realized she already knew everything.

My mom stepped closer cautiously, fixed my hair, then rested her chubby hands on my shoulders, rubbing them gently, her smile never leaving her lips.

For some reason, I felt like crying.

"It’ll all be okay, my love. You’ll see." And her smile widened. I swallowed the painful lump that had formed in my throat. "Now go on, your friend’s waiting for you." She stepped back with friendly little pats on my arm, heading over to tidy up the table.

I stood there for a while, watching her organize things, wondering about what had just happened.

I lowered my head, and the distress gave way to a comforting feeling I couldn’t quite explain.

It was just a good sensation. A feeling of being understood without having to explain myself.

I smiled and, turning my back as I made my way to the stairs, whispered:

"Thanks, Mom."

~*~*~

I was sitting on the bed, my glasses tossed somewhere in the room, my arms wrapped around Kirishima’s neck, and my tongue in his mouth when my phone rang.

At first, I ignored it.

But it rang again.

"Ignore it, ignore that shit…" Kirishima whispered when I pulled away from his kiss to reach for the nightstand and grab the buzzing device playing "Sparkle" from Your Name—yep, that’s my ringtone.

Kirishima grabbed the back of my neck and tried to pull me back.

"Wait, it’ll be quick," I said, dodging him again and finally managing to snag my phone. I was sure it was just another automated call from the phone company, ready to hang up, but just as I was about to swipe left, I froze when I saw "Kacchan" flashing on the screen.

I pressed my lips together, staring at the glowing display.

"Oh, fuck," Kirishima said, leaning over my shoulder to peek at my phone. "What does he want now?" His impatient tone was obvious.

"No idea…" I sighed.

"But I do." He tried to snatch the phone from my hands, but I was quick to pull it away. Kirishima looked at me, indignant. "Come on! He knows I’m with you, bet he’s just trying to cockblock again. You should stop giving him so much attention."

"Did you tell him you’re here?"

"No, but he probably figures, right?"

Silently, I stared at Kirishima for a moment, weighing what I should do.

Well, it’s not like Kacchan’s gonna jump out of my phone screen and teleport to where I am the second I answer the call, anyway.

And I was curious to hear what he’d say, even though I could already guess it wouldn’t be much different from our last few talks.

I sighed again, getting up.

"Hey, where you going?"

"To the bathroom."

"To do what?"

"Answer it." I turned to look at him once, his face all pouty as he knelt on my bed. For the first time, I thought Kirishima looked cute. "I won’t take long." And I stepped into the bathroom attached to my room, locking the door.

I closed the toilet lid to sit on it, staring one last time at his contact still glowing on the screen.

After letting out another sigh, I pressed the phone to my ear as I answered, already bracing myself for the stress I knew was coming.

"Deku?" But I didn’t expect to get chills the moment his gruff voice echoed through the line, so close to my ear. His tone, surprisingly, was low and even calm. I pressed my lips together. "You there?"

I realized we’d never talked on the phone before. It was always just texts.

I shifted my gaze to the bathroom tiles.

"What do you want, Katsuki?"

I could hear him swallow hard.

And there was silence on the other end.

Then I heard footsteps and the sound of a door closing, followed by a key turning in the lock.

"Listen…" He sounded nervous.

"I’m listening," I replied, as if it were obvious, already a little impatient.

And, like a burst to not lose his nerve, he blurted out quickly:

"I’m sorry."

Silence.

I lowered my head, lightly biting my bottom lip.

"You hear me?"

"I heard," I said, serious. Maybe a bit curt.

"Okay…" More silence. "And do you forgive me?"

"What exactly are you apologizing for?" I shot back, sharp. "Since earlier you made it clear you only apologized for how you talked to me—"

"I’m apologizing for everything," he answered right away. My heart, for some reason, sped up. "For that and all the rest."

I bit my lip, swollen from my recent kisses with Kirishima, chewing on it lightly in my mouth.

My free hand gripped my knee.

"Are you serious, or do you just want things to be cool between us again?"

"Both."

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see it, trying to process this sudden apology.

"Got it."

"You’re right. I went too far, I didn’t respect you. You’re free to do whatever you want."

My heart tightened.

"I’m glad you realize that…"

"Yeah, like they say, right?" Unlike before, his tone was now playful. "Doesn’t matter what I say… you learn by screwing up." He apparently found his own little joke funny, letting out a laugh. I stayed serious, though, and when he noticed, he quickly cleared his throat, cutting the laughter short. "Okay, sorry for that too."

I didn’t want to find it funny, so I pressed my lips together, but even then, a puff of laughter slipped out accidentally, and he clearly heard it.

"So you’ll stop calling me Katsuki now?"

I bit my bottom lip to hold back a smile.

Because that question was kind of like, "So you accept my apology?"

"That easy? Not even a Burger King meal?"

The loud laugh from the other end made me laugh too.

"Alright, then I’m heading over. With a BK meal, of course, or you’ll kick me out."

My eyes widened, my chest sinking.

"Huh?" I stared at the bathroom door, aware Kirishima was on the other side waiting for me. "You… you’re not with Uraraka?"

"I was. Gave her a ride home, just got back to my place."

What? They weren’t going to hook up tonight?

I didn’t know if I should be happy about that or panic.

"Why?" My heart was racing more and more with pure anxiety. "Did you two… fight or something?"

"Nah. Just felt kinda tired. She got it."

No, Kacchan.

For someone who goes out with girls so much, you don’t seem to understand how a girl’s heart works.

"Oh, okay." I nodded, even though I didn’t fully grasp what was going on with him. I glanced around, rubbing my feet together, thinking about how to say this. "So, uh… I can’t right now."

"What?"

"You can’t come over now because, like… I’m kind of busy."

The silence on the other end of the line nearly made me break out in a cold sweat.

"He’s there, isn’t he?"

I could feel the shift in his voice when he asked—serious and cold.

I swallowed hard, dropping my gaze to my bare feet.

And in a small voice, I answered:

"Yeah."

More silence.

I brought my thumb to my mouth, nibbling on it.

I didn’t even know why I was so nervous—it’s not like I was doing anything wrong.

So why was I scared of what he’d think?

"Got it." He went quiet for a few moments, and I braced myself for another lecture. "Look, I’m not gonna lie to you—I still don’t like this shit one bit. It makes me wanna puke seeing you with him. I got so pissed seeing someone like you with a little punk like him, and… you deserve better, that’s all. And it pisses me off that you don’t see it the same way."

I sighed, switching the phone to my other hand and pressing it to my left ear.

My heart stumbled with every damn word he said.

My free right hand scratched at the fabric of my green shorts, right at the knee.

"But obviously, yelling in your face and treating you like my little pet wasn’t gonna help jack shit. I was a fucking idiot, I messed up. I shouldn’t have handled it like such an asshole. I just… I got scared he’d hurt you, like I’ve seen him do to so many people… and that fear didn’t let me think straight. Maybe if I’d said it differently, you would’ve listened… but anyway, that’s not the point anymore. What’s done is done, right?"

I pressed my lips together.

"It’s what you want, isn’t it?" he asked again after my silence.

I sighed for the millionth time.

"Yeah…" And I couldn’t tell why my voice sounded so uncertain.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds before saying:

"Then it’s fine."

A knot formed in my throat.

"For real, I hope to hell I’m wrong and that someday you’ll laugh in my face for being such a pathetic dumbass. Trust me, I don’t wanna be right—screw that. I just want you to be okay."

Why did I feel like crying?

"And… I’m here for whatever you need me for."

Stop. Stop it.

My chest hurts, and I don’t even know why, which makes it hurt even more.

"And that includes burying that dickhead six feet under if you want."

I let out a little laugh, hearing his rough, low chuckle echo from the other side too.

"You swear you won’t meddle anymore?"

"I swear." He paused briefly. "More or less."

I laughed loudly, wiping my slightly teary eyes.

"KACCHAN!!"

"‘Swear’ is a strong word."

"Kacchan, please…"

"Alright, alright… I swear."

I let out a laugh, joined by his.

The laughter lingered for a while before gradually fading.

When silence settled in again, this time it felt comfortable.

I didn’t bother breaking it, and apparently, neither did he.

But for some reason, an almost insistent urge to say this scratched at my throat:

"Thanks, Kacchan."

Even over the phone, I could feel him smiling.

"Thank you, Izuku."

For the first time, he called me by my name. He called me Izuku with that raspy, thick, almost whispered voice.

It felt like fireworks were going off inside me.

I didn’t know how much I wanted to hear that until it happened.

My heart was pounding hard, burning, melting, too big to fit inside me anymore.

I didn’t want to smile because it felt too pathetic to smile over something like this… but my cheeks stretched without my permission, and it was way, way stronger than me.

Fuck, I like you so, so much.

And I hate that just when I think I can like you less, you make me like you even more.

"You smiling right now?"

That question made my eyes widen.

"Just realized… it’s been a while since you last smiled at me." My heart tripped. "Wish I was there to see it."

I rolled my eyes, biting my lip to try and hold back a laugh—unsuccessfully.

"Idiot."

"I know."

I laughed again, but that nagging little voice whispering in my head that I’d have to hang up soon made me deflate.

I didn’t want to hang up.

Honestly, I didn’t even want to be here.

I wanted to be with him, eating BK and watching shitty horror movies.

"Deku, I—"

And that’s when loud knocks pounded against the bathroom door.

"What’s going on in there, Izuku? Did the toilet swallow you?" It was Kirishima, clearly impatient, which was understandable.

"I’m coming!" I shouted back before turning my attention to the phone, my heart racing. "Kacchan, I… I gotta go."

An irrational wish bubbled up inside me—that he’d say he wanted to stay on the call with me for hours and hours.

But it was just an irrational wish.

"Alright," Kacchan said after a brief pause. "See you tomorrow, then. Take care." And he hung up.

I bit my lip, pressing the phone against my ear as that endless beep echoed.

I sighed, setting the device on the sink before letting my head drop forward, my elbows resting on my knees as I dragged my hands over my face in an internal mess I couldn’t understand.

Good, right? He apologized for everything, and you could tell he meant it.

Things are cool between us now—that’s what I wanted most.

I’ve got the green light to be with Kirishima, no issues.

So why does everything feel so wrong?

"Hey, Izuku." Kirishima’s voice came back, and I could see his shadow under the door. "You alive?"

I huffed, standing up abruptly to finally open the door, coming face-to-face with his confused and annoyed expression.

"He… apologized," was the first thing I said, sidestepping him to walk over to the bed and sit in the middle of the mattress.

"Oh. Seriously?" he asked, surprised, turning to face me. I nodded slowly, hugging my knees. He shrugged and, with a smile, came closer, flopping onto the bed and making the springs bounce. "That’s good, right? So everything’s cool?"

"I guess so."

"You guess?" He rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow and pressing the side of his face into his fist. "You don’t look too happy."

"It’s just… I’m still processing it all." I gave a small, closed-lip smile.

"Oh." He nodded like he understood, but I knew he didn’t.

Kirishima started chattering about the various superhero and video game posters plastered across my walls—he hadn’t noticed them the first time he came to my room, he said. The biggest one was of All Might near my bed, and while he laughed and teased about it all, I stared into space, my mind drifting further and further as my entire phone conversation with Kacchan replayed over and over inside me.

My heart’s soft, no denying it. Kacchan can disarm me easily, without much effort.

Because, above all, he’s sincere.

And I love that. Even when he’s so sincere it hurts, I still wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t change anything. I even like his flaws.

Because even his flaws feel perfect.

"Why you got that goofy smile on your face?" Kirishima’s voice, right by my ear, made me jump on the mattress. When did he get so close? "What’s up, babe? Thinking about another guy?" he teased, making me let out a little laugh. "I’d call that cheating, you know? I’m already nice enough to let you breathe the same air as other men…"

"Sorry, I know I’m kinda spaced out, I just… I dunno." My confusion spilled into my words. I huffed, messing up my hair with one hand. "But I think… we worked things out. Me and Kacchan." Still, oddly enough, I didn’t feel much relief. There was still a bitter taste on the tip of my tongue, and I couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

"Speak for yourself. I think he hates me now," he said with a chuckle that rippled lightly through my body, since his chin was resting on my shoulder, his arms wrapped around my waist in a sideways hug.

It made me a little uncomfortable.

I wasn’t really in the mood for hugs or anything like that—I was still too lost in my thoughts.

So Kacchan ditched Uraraka? He’s not going to sleep with her…?

That was too surreal.

The kind of thing that’d only happen in my imagination.

"And you don’t seem to mind much," I shot back.

"I like the pissed-off face he makes. It’s funny."

When I turned my head to look at him, I was struck by the redness of his eyes.

But even then, it didn’t come close to the intense red of Kacchan’s.

It’s frustrating. It’s frustrating that Katsuki always wins in even the smallest comparison to another guy. Even between two pairs of red eyes, his still manage to be more beautiful.

I held back a sigh.

"I think this is the first time I’ve noticed your eyes are red," I commented, adjusting my glasses on my face. "I thought they were more… reddish-brown or something."

He gave me a confused look for a second, seeming to find my words amusing.

"I wanna figure out the color too."

"What?" I frowned. "They’re green, you know that."

A mischievous grin was already forming on his face before he even opened his mouth.

And I wished I’d been quick enough to cover my ears.

"The color of your asshole."

"Oh, fuck off!" I yelped, pulling away from him fast, scrunching my face in disgust while Kirishima flopped onto his back on the bed, rolling with laughter. "You’ve got issues, man. Seriously."

"Been told that a few times. Should I be worried?" He raised an eyebrow at me after he stopped laughing that annoying way, propping himself up on his elbows. "Think we’ve talked enough, huh?"

I rolled my eyes.

"You’re like a rose, you know?" I stared at him as he grinned playfully. "But just the thorny part."

He laughed.

"Good one. Never heard that before." His hand crept across the mattress to grab mine, resting on my thigh. "I know we already ate those snacks you made and all—they were good, by the way—but…" He tugged me lightly. "Don’t you think we’re still missing the main course?"

So romantic.

I bit my lip, a little nervous. Normally, I wouldn’t feel this way, but since I’d already decided I’d sleep with Kirishima tonight, the reality that it was actually about to happen kept swirling in my head, making me anxious about what was coming next.

My legs tingled as I stared at his wide, sharp-toothed grin.

It’s okay, Izuku. It’s normal to feel nervous. Everything’s fine.

Now stop being the weakling everyone says you are and go for it. See it through.

There’s no reason not to sleep with Kirishima. If not him, who better could you find?

So what if you know Kacchan’s not sleeping with Uraraka tonight? It doesn’t change the fact that they will someday.

And your life doesn’t have to hinge on whether they do or don’t.

Your choices can’t depend on other people’s choices.

So do it.

Just do it, Izuku.

Biting my bottom lip hard, I let his hand pull me, and as I lay on my back on that single bed, my body was quickly covered by his. He didn’t wait a second longer to kiss my mouth.

Kirishima, as always, was eager, while I felt shyer than usual. But little by little, I started to relax as the minutes passed and his strong hands roamed over my body.

I held his face with both hands, soon sliding them to his neck, then his shoulders, and finally gripping his back through the thin fabric of his shirt. Kirishima has a nice back, and ever since we started hooking up, I’ve secretly wanted to scratch it. Our tongues moved together eagerly when I felt his knee press against my clothed dick, making me jolt a little. His hands gripped my ass firmly, pulling my hips against his knee. Shit, I couldn’t hold back the moan.

"You moan so good…" he whispered mid-kiss, our lips still pressed together as our panting breaths escaped. His hands kept kneading my ass between his fingers—it felt good. "I get hard just thinking about how you’ll moan when I stick my dick in—mmph!"

He groaned when I grabbed his bulge through his pants, feeling the solid erection between my thin fingers. My eyes widened.

A shiver shot through me instantly.

God, he’s big.

Huge.

I’d grabbed his dick on impulse, but now that I felt it growing even more in my hand, my cheeks flushed, and chills raced through my body.

It was the first time I’d touched a penis that wasn’t mine, and… damn…

Is this thing gonna fit in me?

I’d showered as soon as we got here—trying to play it off like I didn’t have ulterior motives—and prepped myself. I’ve been researching how to douche and gay sex for a while now, but even so, I didn’t feel any less insecure. The theory’s easy—anyone can master it in their head—but practice is a whole different story. If I felt a burn just with my fingers, imagine with a dick like this?

I’m gonna split in half.

If I at least had the physical stamina to handle it… but no! I’m scrawny! I’m a twig next to Kirishima or anyone on that basketball team!

I remembered those rare pornos where you can see the top’s dick bulging against the bottom’s stomach, almost like it’s piercing his organs, and I winced—not in a good way—just imagining that becoming real. My damn imagination ran wild, conjuring up a thousand catastrophic scenarios, all ending with me in a wheelchair.

I panicked, and just as I was about to pull my hand back, Kirishima was quick to stop me, making me grip his dick again. I swallowed hard but didn’t pull away.

I can’t be that weakling. Innocent and fragile.

Not again.

Not ever.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, taking advantage of him being distracted, sucking on my neck and slobbering all over me.

God, God.

I’m gonna lose my virginity.

I’m really gonna lose my virginity.

Am I?

I AM!

I swallowed hard, starting to rub him lightly and slowly, trying to get used to the size in my hands, but it just seemed to get bigger the more I touched it—God! I couldn’t calm down no matter what!

"Pull it out," he whispered against my ear, his voice rougher than I’d ever heard, making me tremble all over. And even then, it didn’t come close to the natural rasp of Kacchan’s voice.

Damn it, why am I thinking about him now? Why am I making these pointless comparisons?

Kirishima grunted when I accidentally squeezed his dick a little too hard, and I apologized quickly, but it didn’t kill the mood—he was too turned on—so we just kept going.

I closed my eyes, holding back a sigh as his mouth moved up and down my neck, his hips starting to rock back and forth, intensifying the handjob and pressing his erection against my thigh.

Have you been in foreplay with her too, Kacchan?

Have you almost gone all the way?

You like how she moans your name, don’t you? With that soft, melodic, sweet voice…

How do you feel when her hands touch you down there?

I’ll never know how your voice, already so rough, sounds when you whisper in pure lust by someone’s ear. I’ll never know the havoc your hands could wreak. And I’ll never know what it’s like to touch your dick like I’m feeling Kirishima’s now. Would it be much different? Would I feel this nervous and flustered like I do now?

So stop comparing, Izuku.

Because you’ll never know.

As quick as ripping off a bandage, I yanked his dick out of his sweatpants—not too shocked by the lack of underwear—while sucking in a sharp breath.

The sight of his hard, precum-slicked cock slapping against his stomach made me swallow hard, and I immediately looked away. If I stared too long, I might’ve collapsed. Even though I didn’t look at it for a full three seconds, it was a nice dick, but even that couldn’t calm me down.

Kirishima was too turned on—I could feel his breathing getting more erratic with every second my hand slid up and down his rigid length. His lips were now on my collarbone, having tugged the collar of my shirt aside. Each bite he left there sent a different shiver through me. And it wasn’t from pleasure.

Damn it, why wasn’t it from pleasure?

What was so different now?

He grabbed the hem of my shirt, and I panicked, stopping his hands with my own.

I must’ve looked terrified because he laughed when he lifted his head to face me.

"You nervous?" he asked with a lopsided grin. Wide-eyed, I nodded slowly. His smile widened. "That’s cute." His fingers gripped my chin, tilting it up. He was smiling like a lion about to sink its teeth into a coyote, but it was… kind of weird, actually. "You’re so cute, you know that?"

I let out a nervous chuckle, looking away. Staring at the wall with All Might’s face plastered on it felt like a much nicer option.

"You always say that…"

"Does it bother you?"

"No, I just…" I started twisting my fingers into the fabric of my shirt. "I don’t know how to handle compliments…"

I flashed a small, awkward smile, still feeling uneasy about everything.

But I definitely wasn’t backing out. I wouldn’t act like the loser everyone thinks I am.

Like the weakling you think I am too, Kacchan. I know you apologized, and I’m glad, but your image of me hasn’t changed, and that’s fine—I don’t blame you for it.

It’s my job to shatter that pure little picture you have of me.

I heard Kirishima’s nasal chuckle by my ear, his lips gently closing over my earlobe before sucking it slowly into his mouth, then leaving a warm kiss on my cold skin.

And for the first time since we started, I actually felt waves of heat rushing to my face.

"I’ll go slow," he whispered against my neck, giving it a little nip. I trapped my bottom lip between my teeth. "And if you tell me to stop, I’ll stop."

I nodded, relaxing as I felt my body sink slightly into the mattress.

Because Kirishima, unlike what Kacchan had implied he’d be, hadn’t forced me into anything—not once—and right now, he was respecting my nerves about it being my first time.

Good thing I didn’t back down. Good thing I didn’t let myself get intimidated.

I’d have regretted it bitterly if I’d given in to Kacchan’s baseless tantrum. Worse, it’d only make him feel more comfortable bossing me around whenever he felt like it.

I feel like I’m slowly taking control of my life.

And that thought gave me a bit of courage.

"Want me to suck you off?"

His shameless question nearly made me choke on my own spit, which sent him into a fit of hearty laughter.

"Okay, I just asked to mess with your reaction…" he said between laughs. "Of course you want it."

I just kept staring at him, wide-eyed, too embarrassed to say anything.

But who in their right mind would turn down a blowjob?

"Silence is consent," he whispered against my mouth, biting my lip just to tug it and slip his tongue inside.

I moaned in delight, finally able to kiss without Kacchan’s name buzzing in my head the whole time.

"Stop." Suddenly, he pulled my hand off his dick, tugging his pants back up. I looked at him, confused and, deep down, worried he’d given up on sleeping with me because of my inexperience.

But when he smiled at me, I saw my fear was unfounded.

"My turn now."

I trembled from head to toe.

Wait, he’s going to suck me off now?

Like, right now…?

I didn’t even have time to mentally prepare!!

And then, just like that, my pants weren’t covering my legs anymore.

WHAT?!

I barely blinked, and he’d already yanked my pants off?

WAIT, WHERE’S MY UNDERWEAR?!

Panicked, I bolted upright, hugging my legs to my chest.

"Hey, hey! Didn’t you say you’d go slow? Or was that just in my head?"

He laughed, crawling toward me slowly.

"Sorry, sorry… it’s just that I’m so horny for you, I couldn’t hold back," he murmured with a hint of seduction as he got closer. He placed his hands on my knees and looked at me like he was asking permission. I swallowed hard but didn’t say anything.

I mean, that’s what we’re here for, right?

So he gently parted my legs, and unlike the slow way he opened them, his eyes darted down fast.

I covered my face with both hands, my skin burning with embarrassment.

"Wow… you’re…" His low voice trailed off somewhere, and I was sure he was staring down there with the most depraved look. God, so embarrassing. Help. "You’re prettier than I imagined. All shaved… and…" His hands slid from my knees to the insides of my thighs, making me shiver. "So fucking soft…"

"My dick’s small, sorry."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

WHY THE HELL DID I SAY THAT?!

GODDAMN IT!

IT JUST SLIPPED OUT!

The booming laughter that filled the room made me shrink even more.

"Your dick’s not small, okay?" He pulled my hands away from my face, and for me—red from head to toe—seeing his wide grin aimed at me didn’t help much. "It’s the perfect size to fit in my mouth."

I looked away, and even though I was embarrassed, I couldn’t hold back a laugh.

"Oh, stop it…" I said between giggles.

When I realized not just my dick but my ass was exposed too, I felt an almost instant urge to cover up again, but Kirishima seemed to read my mind because he quickly wedged himself between my legs.

Wedged his head between my legs, to be precise.

"K-Kirishima! Wait!"

He gripped my thighs hard with both hands while taking my dick into his mouth all at once. Deep. Completely.

I threw my head back instinctively, accidentally banging it against the headboard. I covered my mouth right away to swallow the moan—or scream—back down.

"Kirishima… f-fuck…"

I think my slurred words egged him on because he didn’t even wait for me to process it before sucking me hard and fast. Feeling that warm, wet cavity around me was definitely different from my fingers, but even so, it was all so… I don’t know, rushed, that I couldn’t focus on the sensations…

I won’t lie—it wasn’t bad, far from it… but all that speed threw me off. I wanted to take it slow. So the rush was something I didn’t really like, but whatever… I won’t let it get me down. I should take it as a compliment, right? If he’s going fast, it must be because I get him excited…

It’s the second time Kirishima’s said he’d go slow and, for the second time, done the opposite. It’s making me a little wary.

As the seconds passed, his mouth moving over me got better and better, and little by little—or maybe not so little—I grew harder between his lips.

I thought I’d last way longer because the guys in porn hold out for ages.

But I don’t think even thirty seconds passed before a heat pooled in my lower belly, along with a weird urge to explode.

I didn’t even have time to warn him, though. The exact second I realized I was going to cum, I came the next, my mouth opening in a silent moan—maybe because I bit my hand hard.

"S-sorry, sorry!" I said quickly—my ragged breathing making it a little messy—waving my hands in a fluster. "My bad, I didn’t have time to warn you…"

And to my surprise—or maybe not—he just swallowed it all, and I could clearly see his Adam’s apple bob up and down. I swallowed hard, a flush blazing across my face. With a sly grin, he leaned in to steal a fierce but tasty kiss.

"Relax, kitten," he whispered mid-kiss, and I thought he meant the cum thing from seconds ago, but I realized I’d misread it when I felt a finger poking me. Down there.

My eyes widened, my hands shooting to his shoulders, nails digging in as a silent plea to stop, but I guess he didn’t get it because he pulled back just enough to yank off his shirt. I didn’t even have time to check out his body because he was back between my legs, kissing me frantically again, his finger heading down once more, circling my entrance, which tightened at the touch again.

"S-slow down…" I tried to say mid-kiss, but it was useless.

I’m starting to think he gets off when I ask him to take it easy.

"H-hey, don’t put your finger in, plea—AH!"

And he shoved it in.

Hard.

I broke the kiss, throwing my head back, this time slamming it against the headboard with force, but that surface-level pain was nothing compared to the agony of that unexpected penetration.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…" I whimpered, curling my toes into the sheets.

God, my vision was blurry…?

Was I… crying…?

He started moving his finger, and even though it was slow, it burned like hell. Shit, he’d jammed it in all at once—his finger’s twice the size of mine—and didn’t even wait for me to adjust. Does he think moving it slowly now is gonna make a difference?

His raspy mouth whispered in my ear about how damn tight I was, his voice dripping with arousal alongside heavy, pleasured sighs.

A pleasure I wasn’t feeling.

"T-take it out…" I gripped his arms hard, my head still tilted back as silent tears streamed down. "Take it out now…"

It burned. It felt like every time he moved and pushed his finger, my skin was stretching, tearing. It was insanely hot, but not in a good way. It was insanely hot like it was bleeding.

"This discomfort’s normal, it’ll pass…" he murmured against my neck, dragging his mouth along it, leaving hot kisses across the skin. Not even that could distract me—the pain was hard to bear, and the fact that he was brushing it off like it was nothing was starting to piss me off. This isn’t a porno where a virgin girl just takes a thirty-centimeter dick with zero prep.

"Take it out, take it out, take it out…" The pain left me voiceless, unable to shout or even speak firmly.

He let out a chuckle, which made me cry with rage.

"It’ll pass, I’m telling you…" Was my pain turning him on or something? "Are you a man or a girl, huh?" He nipped my earlobe lightly, letting out an amused little laugh. "What, you can’t even handle a little finger?"

"This isn’t funny," I muttered, pissed. I grabbed his hand, trying to force him to stop, but he still managed to move his finger slowly inside me, and it was driving me crazy. "You’re ruining the mood—I told you to take it out!"

"Mood?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking slyly. He lifted his head to lock eyes with me, intense and strong—but not in the way I’d have liked. "What mood? That’s something girls say. Are you a girl, Izuku?"

I pressed my lips together, a knot forming in my stomach and nausea creeping up my throat.

"Because I could’ve sworn I just had my mouth on a dick, not a pussy…"

And he shoved in a second finger.

Then a third.

I screamed.

It was like my soul left my body in that moment—I felt nothing.

The only thing I could see through my half-closed eyes was a thin sliver of light.

And suddenly, Kacchan’s image flared up in that light.

And I just desperately wished he’d save me. Wished he’d save me, even though I was so sick of always being saved by him.

I just wanted him to save me one more time.

A surge of adrenaline flooded my body, and I wasn’t in control anymore when I kicked Kirishima hard in the stomach, sending him crashing backward.

He caught himself with his elbows, staring me up and down, wide-eyed and completely stunned, like I’d done something insane.

"What the fuck, Izuku?!" he yelled, rage coursing through every fiber of his being, veins bulging in his muscular arms.

My first instinct was to hug my legs to my chest, quickly grabbing a blanket that had fallen near the foot of the bed.

I covered myself completely, hiding from head to toe, curling up like a scared little animal in the cold.

Something warm trickled inside me, and that’s when I knew I was bleeding.

I was shaking, shaking, shaking.

I was sobbing and didn’t want him to hear, let alone see.

I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t be weak again.

But I failed.

Like always.

"Izuku, what the hell’s your problem?" His question came out irritated, and I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t want him in front of me anymore. How can someone be so cynical? "Fuck, are you gonna cry now? Seriously? And then you say I’m the one ruining the mood…"

My insides burned, literally and figuratively, but above all, the way he treated me and the things he said hurt even more.

And that’s when it hit me.

Kirishima doesn’t respect me. He never did.

I thought I was finally taking control of my life, but…

I never even came close.

When his hand touched me, I flinched away instantly, like a lost puppy separated from its owner, trembling under a bridge in a storm.

Because that’s how I felt right then: lost. Cold.

And alone.

Impatient and cursing, he yanked the blanket off me hard, tossing it to the floor.

My broken, fragile, sobbing self was now exposed to him.

And the hatred I felt for him didn’t even come close to the hatred I felt for myself.

"Goddamn, so dramati—"

"SHUT UP!" I screamed until my lungs felt like they’d tear. My wide eyes spilled tears of rage. "Get out! Now!" I pointed at the door with a trembling finger. "I’ll call my mom!" And I only realized how pathetic that sounded as it came out between sobs.

It was an empty threat—my mom had told me she’d be heading to the store later. By now, she was probably gone, or she’d have heard my screams and burst in with a broom handle.

I just hoped it’d intimidate him somehow.

But this is Kirishima we’re talking about.

The shirtless redhead, now kneeling on my bed, stared at me with a confused look.

Then let out a mocking, disbelieving laugh.

"Oh, gonna call mommy?" he said between laughs, tilting his head in a way that made me look like a fool. "Come on. You’re not a girl, Izuku—you’re more like a kid."

"Get out. Now," I said firmly, enunciating each syllable, roughly wiping my face with the hand not pointing at the door. "Get out of my sight. I don’t want to see you anymore." I’d never been more serious, but he just kept looking at me like I was spouting nonsense, and it made me feel even weaker and more insignificant in front of him. "Leave. Please," I tried appealing to emotion.

"You think it works like that?" He raised an eyebrow, indignant. "I sucked you off, damn it. How do you think this works? I make you cum, and you just tell me to fuck off like that?"

I can’t believe he’s implying I owe him for what he did.

I stayed silent for a while, just staring, waiting for the moment he’d realize what he said and back off, even though I knew that moment would never come.

"You can’t be serious," I said with a nasal laugh, wiping the last tear from my red cheek. "You can’t actually think like that. You suck me off, and I’m obligated to suck you or give you my ass, even if I don’t want to? That’s how you think?"

He laughed, incredulous at what I was saying.

"So you’re saying it’s all about you? I give you pleasure, and you repay me like this, like a damn selfish prick?"

He was trying to flip the script in such an unfair way.

"It was my first time—I just wanted to take it slow, and you—"

"Oh, here we go with the pity party!" He rolled his eyes, laughing. "Only your pleasure matters, huh? What are you, one of those hairy feminists now?"

I opened my mouth to argue, but I was so outraged by the filth pouring out of that mouth… that mouth I’d kissed so much… that no words felt good enough to express myself.

You know when someone’s saying such unbelievable things that you feel like nothing you say will make a difference?

It was like arguing with a flat-earther.

He was spewing such absurd nonsense that I couldn’t believe he actually thought that way, and it was even more unbelievable how he was trying to make me the bad guy.

I knew Kirishima had some sketchy opinions and could be a real asshole sometimes, but I never could’ve imagined this.

He touched me while I begged him to stop. He kept touching me while I practically pleaded for him to stop.

And now he was looking at me like that was normal.

Disgusting.

Fucking disgusting.

"What, you want me to pay you then?" I asked sarcastically, tears already dry on my face. I knew it wasn’t worth debating with solid, coherent arguments—he wouldn’t get it even if I drew a picture. All I felt was pure, raw hatred. A hatred so massive that if someone handed me a gun, I don’t know what I’d do. "I’ll give you ten bucks, tops. You’re not as good as you think you are."

He let out a nasal laugh.

"But you came pretty fast, huh?" He smirked with scorn, crossing his arms. "And moaned real nice…"

Fuck, he knows I’m a virgin, but he treated me like some fake-ass virgin from Taubaté, like those porn stars. Any touch is hypersensitive for me—someone else’s hand on my dick, times ten. A blowjob, something I’ve never had before? Of course I came fast—it’s just a virgin body reacting to someone else’s touch for the first time. It doesn’t mean it was amazing, because trust me, it wasn’t.

"And I bet you’d cum quick with my fingers too, if you’d stopped with the whining for a second."

God.

So gross.

"If it’s with you, I’d rather become a nun and join a convent." I flashed a wide, forced grin, feeling a tiny bit satisfied when it left him speechless. My face dropped right after. "Get out of my house. Now," I ordered.

Silently, Kirishima stared at me, like he found the whole situation ridiculous.

Goddamn it, what a sick bastard.

Laughing and shaking his head, he finally got off the bed, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his shirt from the floor.

I almost felt relief, but it faded fast with the thought that I’d only truly feel relieved once he was gone.

I took the chance to grab the blanket he’d ripped off me, covering myself at least up to my waist, but I didn’t take my eyes off him, scared that if I got distracted for a second, he’d try something.

My chest ached because Kacchan was right.

And I’d have to face him tomorrow with the weight of knowing he was right.

With the weight of knowing, once again, I couldn’t take care of myself.

With the weight of not feeling enough on my own.

"Time to wake up, Izuku," Kirishima said casually, pulling on his shirt with anger, not looking at me.

I narrowed my eyes, not getting that shitty comment.

"Who’re you saving that little ass for?" He shot me a sidelong grin, his eyes gleaming in a way I knew too well. The way everyone at school looks at me. "For Kacchan?" He mocked the nickname.

I clenched my lips tight, my stomach churning.

"Don’t talk about him—he’s got nothing to do with this!"

"He’s not a fag." He went on, ignoring me completely. "And even if he was, you don’t seriously think you’d have a shot, do you?" His eyes raking me up and down made me so uncomfortable it almost turned to disgust. "You wouldn’t be his type even if you had a pussy between your legs. He can get the hottest chick out there—do you really think he’d pick a scrawny nerd who can’t even handle a finger? Seriously?"

"What the hell are you talking about, dude?! Get out!"

"It’s simple." And he smiled at me in a way that sent chills down my spine. "You think you can be her?"

A corrosive cold surged from deep inside me, twisting my stomach and gripping my chest, weighing down my heart.

Once, without me even asking, you told me you think I’m way better than her…

Did you ever, even once, mean anything you said to me, Kirishima?

"You think so, huh?"

I pressed my lips together, that familiar burning returning to my tired eyes as I twisted my fingers into the thick blanket.

"Why are you like this, Kirishima?" I mumbled, genuinely wanting to understand what went on in his head. "You can’t possibly be this heartless for no reason…"

"Oh my God, Izuku, you’re right!" He clutched his chest dramatically, faking a pathetic sob. "I’ve got so much trauma—my dad used to fuck me with a broom handle, and my mom pimped me out to fat old creeps on the street when I was a kid. You’ve figured it all out… help me…"

I just wanted to puke.

Puke knowing I’d actually kissed that mouth, which I could almost mistake for a toilet now, knowing I’d almost lost my virginity to someone like him…

"Seriously, Izuku, you—"

"Please, stop talking. I’m begging you. Just… leave. Please. I can’t take it anymore."

I was weak.

My energy was draining.

"Is that what you’ll say to Bakugo when he rejects you? Better rehearse more, huh? Friendly advice."

"The one who can’t handle rejection here is you, Kirishima."

I kick the guy to the curb, and he freaks out like this?

He laughed.

"You’re right—you’re so spineless that even when he rejects you, you’ll still be his little buddy, third-wheeling and even playing doormat for his girlfriend if she needs it."

"Wow, you got a secret crush on him or what?" I glared at him, pissed that he kept bringing up Kacchan every chance he got, just to hit me where it hurt most in the lowest way possible. "Is this all resentment because you know he’d never see you as anything but a pathetic loser?" I shot back, refusing to let him see how much his harsh words cut me, because I knew that was his only goal: to hurt me. He didn’t care if what he said was true or made sense—he just wanted to hurt me.

Kirishima laughed, even throwing his head back in mockery.

"You sure you’re not talking about yourself, Izuku?"

I didn’t have the strength for this depressing back-and-forth anymore. I just wanted him gone…

For God’s sake, leave me alone. Let me cry by myself—haven’t you said and done enough? What more do you want from me, Kirishima? Want me to crawl to you?

This whole situation was way worse than if he’d just dumped me after sex—sex that THANKFULLY didn’t happen, but just the fact that he’d shoved those disgusting fingers inside me was already making me nauseous.

It’s awful realizing I trusted someone so rotten—and worse, that I was warned about it and didn’t listen.

I didn’t get why Kacchan had been so hard on me, but now I do.

Now all I’ve got left to hear from him is, "I told you so, Deku."

And honestly, I don’t deserve any less.

I didn’t expect, though, that everything Katsuki said would come back to bite me so fast.

I felt pathetic.

And heartbroken.

But not over Kirishima.

No, because all this time, I’d been walking toward something that doesn’t exist.

And never did.

"How much longer you planning to stick by his side? Head down, pretending everything’s fine while you watch him screw another girl in front of you? You think your turn’s coming too, is that it?" Laughing, he headed to the door. "I don’t think there’s a more pathetic move than that." After bending down to grab his backpack off the floor, he flashed me a wide grin and said, "Yeah… people are right, Izuku." He slung the bag over his shoulder. "You’re pitiful."

And he slammed the door shut.

Kirishima’s words sank slowly into my ears, scraping and shredding my skin, making me bleed.

My trembling lips pressed tight.

I lowered my head.

And I stayed there. Alone. Frozen on those crumpled sheets. Legs shaking and heart shattered in my cold hands.

I wish I could say that, at least that night, while my mom slept in the next room, I didn’t shed a single tear.

But I’m still weak, in the end.

~*~*~

And I almost thought the next day would never come.

It’d be a lie to say I didn’t wake up feeling like the worst version of myself.

It’s probably even a lie to say I woke up, because I don’t think I even slept.

I didn’t want to go to school. I just wanted to stay wrapped up in my blankets, eating junk food and watching Adam Sandler movies, hoping that might make me laugh and disconnect from reality for a second.

But I wouldn’t give Kirishima the satisfaction of knowing I skipped school because of him, even if I wasn’t ready to face Kacchan yet.

I’d just lift my head and pretend it’s just another day, like all the others. Which isn’t exactly untrue, either. It’s just another day where people feel entitled to step all over me.

I wasn’t planning to face Kirishima’s cynical smirk. I didn’t want to face Kacchan either, because I knew if I did, I’d run to him, throw myself into his arms, and break down crying.

I didn’t want to tell him what happened, like I needed him to avenge my honor somehow—because I know he’d feel obligated to if I did. At least for now, I’m not ready to admit to him how much of a pathetic failure I am. Because I don’t want a protector anymore. I don’t want to need one.

You’re pitiful, Izuku.

That’s what Kirishima said before he left, smiling like he was bringing me breakfast in bed, and honestly, what hurts the most is that I agree with him.

Disappointments are part of life, I know.

But ironically, no matter how well you know that, you’re never prepared. No matter how much you know there are bad people in the world, you’re never ready to get hurt. No matter how much you know love hurts, it doesn’t make you any more ready when your heart gets broken.

Because it will break.

It always does.

Kirishima’s just another one of the ignorant jerks at that school.

But that doesn’t mean it hurts less.

And it’s not about him, specifically. It hurts because of everything he represented—or used to represent—to me.

The fact that I’d started to care about him is just a detail.

It hurts because, in him, I saw my freedom. Freedom from a life where I only exist beside Kacchan.

But it was all just a sweet illusion.

People say pain, mistakes, disappointments, losses… that they make us stronger…

But I don’t feel stronger.

I feel lost.

Because at no point did I take a step forward. Without realizing it, I just rolled downhill, smiling like I was climbing a mountain, about to reach the top and take in the view.

And the feeling of being powerless to get back up is what frustrates me most.

I feel alone.

Kacchan can’t help me.

Because it’s my life, and only I can live it.

As I lazily got ready for school—I don’t think I’ve ever looked so sloppy and careless as I did that day—the conversation I’d had with Kacchan over the phone kept circling my mind, like a warm, gentle breeze that still sent shivers through my stomach.

My heart squeezed.

Alright, then I’m heading over. With a Burger King meal, of course, or you’ll kick me out.

I just wanted to run to Kacchan and hug him with all my strength, but I wanted to do it without him asking me anything. I just wanted to hug him and cry on his shoulders without him bombarding me with questions.

But nothing can be how I want it. Absolutely nothing. Never. Not even once.

And to think everything could’ve been different if I’d let Kacchan come over…

It would’ve been so, so different…

I’d have had a happy afternoon with Kacchan, and none of that would’ve happened…

But I also couldn’t have known the choice I made was wrong unless I’d made it.

And if I hadn’t given Kirishima a chance, I’d spend every day blaming Kacchan and resenting what I’d let slip by.

So I can’t regret it now.

[Kacchan]: morning

[Kacchan]: how you holding up?

I almost cried when, after turning down the breakfast my mom offered—I’d been avoiding even meeting her eyes—I read those messages as I stepped onto the sidewalk outside.

Katsuki seemed to suspect something had happened.

Or maybe it was like he already knew everything.

I paused for a moment, debating whether to take the bus or just walk to school.

Walking would let me breathe fresh air and sort my thoughts better.

But my ass still hurt, and I definitely didn’t have the energy for a nearly half-hour trek.

[Izuku]: I’m fine

[Kacchan]: wanna hang out after class?

I let my forehead rest against the bus window, a smile spreading across my face.

At the same time, a tear dripped from my chin.

I thought about it for a second. I almost convinced myself to say no. I wanted to avoid him for at least three days—just enough to get my head somewhat together.

But maybe I need his company more than anything right now.

I won’t tell him anything about yesterday. I just want to be by his side.

And I won’t break down in front of him. I swear I won’t.

[Kacchan]: deku?

I wiped my cheek with my jacket sleeve, taking a deep breath.

I almost typed, Please, take me anywhere in the world—or even out of it.

But I just replied:

[Izuku]: sure

[Izuku]: Where to?

[Kacchan]: you’ll see

[Kacchan]: meet me at the court after class?

Why did he seem different?

His messages didn’t have the usual carefree tone.

And it’s not like I minded—not at all.

But not understanding it made me nervous.

I didn’t want to run into Kirishima, but in my anxious panic, I couldn’t figure out how to turn down Kacchan’s request without it sounding weird. Honestly, I’d rather avoid Kacchan suspecting something than avoid Kirishima.

[Izuku]: okay

I’ll lag a bit before meeting him. That way, maybe Kirishima will already be gone by the time I get to the court.

And anyway, we go to the same school. He’s one of Kacchan’s friends, a teammate. It’s not like I can avoid him forever.

I need to be strong.

[Izuku]: What about Uraraka?

[Kacchan]: what about her?

That question made me frown.

But I didn’t have the headspace to grill him over something dumb like that. I just wanted to hang out with him and pretend, for at least a few minutes, that Ochako Uraraka doesn’t exist in this world.

[Izuku]: Nothing, never mind

[Izuku]: See you later

And I was relieved he hadn’t mentioned Kirishima even once.

~*~*~

I tried to pretend everything was fine.

The urge to stay in the classroom during break was strong, but I took a deep breath, got up, and made my usual trek to the art club.

Deserted, as always.

Kacchan was probably with Uraraka and everyone else in the cafeteria.

And that’s fine—I’ve gotten used to it.

I knew he was trying to balance his time between his girlfriend and his best friend. He really was trying, but he couldn’t please everyone, after all.

I lost count of how many times I sighed while organizing the paints, brushes, water jars, and everything else on the tables.

But when I sat in the chair in front of the wooden easel, palette in one hand and all my supplies laid out around me, I couldn’t even bring myself to drag the brush across the canvas.

My hands trembled, frozen in midair. My wide, lifeless eyes stared at that blank canvas.

I felt good about myself for making it through the crowded hallways to the art club. But once I was alone between those four walls, with just an easel and a blank canvas in front of me, no one else around to see… I couldn’t pretend anymore.

Who am I trying to fool besides myself, anyway?

I pressed my lips together as the first tears escaped my eyes.

I didn’t want to cry, not again.

Because if I was breaking down in front of an empty canvas, what would happen at the court? Surrounded by so many people who didn’t want me there? When I saw Kacchan’s face? Kirishima’s cynical grin?

I wasn’t ready.

I tried wiping my face frantically with the long sleeves of my jacket. I breathed deeply once, twice, three times.

But even as I dried the tears, new ones fell.

Kirishima had humiliated me in so many ways. The physical pain I felt didn’t even compare to the sting of being stabbed in the back like that.

It had been my first time having a more sexual encounter with someone… and I don’t think a first time has to be some honeymoon-worthy event, but it’s true what they say—you never forget your first.

And I’d carry that horrible memory with me forever.

I lowered my head, finally giving in to the urge to bury my face in my hands.

There was a heavy knot in my throat, like a ball of fur. It choked me, made me want to puke.

The lump in my throat was agonizing because it had the force to make me burst, and I kept pushing it down, but I couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how hard I tried. That lump, stuck halfway down my gullet, fought to come out, tormenting me because I refused to let it. So it just stayed there, trying to explode.

I wanted to be strong.

But I feared that when the time came to meet Kacchan at the court, I’d fall apart, just like I was now, alone in the art room, surrounded by disturbing thoughts that no longer fit inside me.

And I almost gave up. I really wanted to ditch meeting him and go home.

But who would I be if I gave up?

Of course I wanted to go home. Going home, seeing my mom, and staying in my room watching Marvel movies on TV was, without a doubt, a much better plan than going to that court to face Kacchan’s scrutinizing gaze, Uraraka’s sweet smile, Kirishima’s smug stance, and the gossiping team members.

I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. That I didn’t need to hide behind Kacchan or run away like a scared little kid. That I could mask my broken self and face everyone on that basketball court.

So I cried everything I had to cry in the art room, away from everyone’s eyes. I forced myself to cry until there was no water left in me, all so that even if I felt like breaking down when my eyes met Kacchan’s, I wouldn’t be able to—because I’d already shed every tear I had left.

That’s why I marched to that court with a confidence I didn’t really have. For the first time that day, I held my head up and could see people’s faces—the only ones I’d seen so far were the teachers’, because I’d refused to look around.

But maybe I was “confident” because I thought the place would be empty by then—I’d waited to show up a bit after practice ended. Except it wasn’t. All the guys were still there, playing. And in the bleachers, Uraraka was cheering excitedly with her friends, laughing and joking around.

The scene made me freeze, my throat scratching from how dry it was.

I took a few steps back.

Facing all those people nearly sent me into a panic.

Focus, Izuku. This is nothing. No one knows anything. No one knows what happened. There’s no reason to worry or act weird. Don’t raise suspicion, don’t give yourself away. Don’t be an idiot.

I opted to wait standing in the corner, leaning against the railing by the bleachers, praying that damn practice would end soon and everyone would leave.

I was worried about how I’d feel when I saw Kirishima.

And honestly, seeing him didn’t hit me as hard as I thought it would. In fact, looking at him didn’t do anything to me.

Looking at him was like staring into a void.

But a different chill twisted my stomach every time my eyes landed on Kacchan.

In the five minutes I stood there—pretty unnoticed, I should add—I saw that Kacchan and Kirishima were on opposing teams. The redhead stole the ball from the blond and scored a basket. But before Kirishima and his team could celebrate too much, Katsuki cut in:

"Foul. The basket doesn’t count," he announced, picking the ball up off the ground. Everyone went quiet, and Kirishima let out a nasal laugh, clearly indignant and disbelieving.

"What? You crazy or something?!"

"Shut the fuck up," he shot back, glaring at him with a deadly look. "Taking more than two steps without dribbling is a foul—even a kid knows that. You took four. Guess you were so desperate to beat me you forgot the basics of the basics." He tossed the ball to a teammate, freeing his arms to cross them. A vein popped on Kirishima’s forehead.

Kacchan looked around in a way that told everyone what kind of speech was coming next.

"We’ve got a big game coming up in a few weeks, guys. The state championship’s almost here. Getting a foul for something stupid isn’t an option. And a fuck-up this dumb? You’re already a benchwarmer." He finished his warning with his eyes locked on Kirishima before turning to the others. "Don’t forget, we’re adding half an hour to practice every day. The next game’s a qualifier for the championship—we can’t screw this up. Anyone slacking knows what’s up. You’re free to go."

The team nodded, their bodies relaxing as a tired sigh escaped them.

Kacchan’s been captain since our first year of high school. They’ve never lost—not once. Because of him, obviously. All the trophies they’ve won go to the school, displayed in a big glass case in the hallway. It’s the first thing everyone sees when they walk in. Kacchan isn’t super close or buddy-buddy with anyone on the team, but that doesn’t make him less respected. He knows how to lead. I’d even say some of those guys are more loyal to him than to their own friends. I always loved watching the last practice before a big game—Kacchan would end it with an inspiring speech that even made me feel motivated, even though I’m not on the team.

"You saying I’m gonna be benched?!" Kirishima’s angry outburst drew the attention of the teammates, who’d already started to scatter. "Is that it?!" He stormed up to Kacchan, fists clenched, nostrils flaring with rage. Everyone’s eyes widened, stopping to watch, but no one stepped in. I’d never seen Kirishima lose it like this—he usually counters stuff like that with sarcasm and sharp humor.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" Kacchan raised an eyebrow, arms crossed, his laid-back stance showing he couldn’t care less about the other guy trying to square up. "I didn’t bench you. Yet. So quit whining."

"You’re bluffing. I’m one of the best on this team, and you know it."

"Doesn’t mean you don’t make dumbass mistakes that always screw us over."

"And have we ever lost?"

"Never lost under whose command again?" Kirishima froze in place, and this time, it was Katsuki who stepped closer. Two small steps, and he was face-to-face with the redhead, whose brow was deeply furrowed. "Oh, right. Mine." He smirked. "Thanks for the reminder. More practice tomorrow, dickhead. Try not to fuck up again."

Kacchan had already turned his back on Kirishima when the redhead, flashing one of his signature creepy grins for the first time, let out:

"Oh, come on." He laughed. "This is all because I fucked your little boy?"

Katsuki stopped dead.

So did everyone on that court.

Including me.

The blond’s head turned back slowly, just enough to glare at Kirishima over his shoulder.

"What did you say?"

His tone made the ground tremble beneath us all.

And it made Kirishima’s grin widen.

"Oh, now you’re interested in what I’ve got to say, huh?" With a raised hand, he inspected his nails in a theatrical gesture. My saliva slid cold down my throat, turning into an iceberg in my stomach—a block of ice growing bigger inside me, its overwhelming chill spreading through the rest of my body, making me tremble from head to toe and back again. "Seriously, Bakubro, you should see your face right now. You’re kinda scary, man."

The expression of pure, raw fury on Kacchan’s face scared even me, despite being so far away that no one had noticed me yet. His chest started rising and falling slightly faster.

"Repeat the fucking shit you just said." Now fully facing Kirishima, Katsuki stared him down as the redhead flashed a wide grin, clearly reveling in the reaction he’d been fishing for.

"That you’re kinda scary right now?" he asked, amused. Kacchan gritted his teeth, clenching his fists tight. From this distance, I couldn’t see his eyes, but I was sure they held a murderous glint, and in that moment, I was afraid. Not for myself, but for him. I didn’t want him getting into another fight… a fight that, once again, was because of me. "No, actually, you’re really scary now. Do you protect your girlfriend like this too? Oh, look, there she is!" He glanced at the bleachers, waving cheerfully at Uraraka, who just stayed serious, as shocked as everyone else by the outrageous things spilling out of his mouth. "She’ll get jealous, don’t you think?"

Kirishima had no shame or restraint—he spoke loud enough for everyone to hear clear as day.

I pressed my lips together. I had to do something—I couldn’t just stand there watching. Even though I was ashamed of my name being thrown around like that, exposed in such a disgusting way… I still couldn’t let it go on, even if my inner self screamed at me to hide.

"Bakubro, it’s time you start accepting that your little boy isn’t a little boy anymore. He likes doing grown-up stuff too, you know? And he likes it a lot." He grinned wide as Kacchan flexed his elbows slightly, brows knitting together fiercely, his fists somehow clenching even tighter as his feet edged toward the redhead in slow, deliberate steps. Kirishima, completely unfazed, kept jabbering with that massive smile—a smile so venomous even the deadliest snake would be jealous. "He makes a lot of noise, you know? Gets on my nerves a bit, but it’s fine—he makes up for it in other ways. I mean, I’ve had better, but he’s a virgin, so I cut him some slack… oops, I mean, he was a virgin—"

"THAT’S A LIE!!" I bellowed, the words ripping through my lungs as they echoed across the huge court, drawing every eye in the place to me. With my heart nearly bursting out of my chest, I ran to Kacchan, even though my legs felt like they might shatter. His stunned eyes on me made me nauseous—I just desperately hoped he didn’t feel disgusted by me. My vision started burning the moment my hands slammed into his chest, clutching the fabric of his shirt. His gaze seemed to search mine for any sign that Kirishima’s words weren’t true. "Don’t believe him, it’s a lie, everything he said is a li—"

"A lie?" Kirishima laughed. "Oh, come on, Izuku, you’re gonna deny our night of love like that, right to my face? What about my heart?" He clutched his chest. I pressed my lips together, lowering my head. "You’re gonna make me cry. We went at it… what, all night? I popped every cherry that little body of yours had—tell him, go on. Weren’t you tired of being treated like a kid, huh?" He smirked at me, crossing his arms in a way that screamed how superior he thought he was. I lifted my head just enough for my hate-filled eyes to meet his mocking ones, devoid of any remorse. It was like he didn’t have a heart. I gritted my teeth. "This is your moment to prove it to him."

"Shut up!!" I yelled, not even noticing when my tears started falling. I twisted my fingers into Kacchan’s sweaty tank top, looking into his eyes with a silent plea. "Kacchan, please…" Why did he look so disappointed? And worse, he was looking at me. My heart was in pieces. "It’s a lie, you have to believe me… p-please…" I didn’t know what to do but beg.

And everyone saw.

All ten players saw, along with Uraraka and her three friends in the bleachers.

I just wanted to die.

That feeling was so familiar to me by now. Each time, it got easier to feel. Each time, it got easier to accept.

Kacchan, why are you looking at me like that? You’re disappointed in me, aren’t you? Please, say something… anything, just…

End this anguish inside me. Yell in my face, I don’t care, just…

Do something.

"Leave him, Izuku." Suddenly, Kirishima’s hand landed on my shoulder, and I nearly gagged, a wave of revulsion surging from my gut. I caught the exact moment Kacchan’s sharp eyes left my face and landed on the thick fingers touching me. I swallowed hard, my eyes widening—I already knew what was coming. And the glint in his eyes, once sad, turned terrifying. "I think he just needs a little time to proces—"

A punch.

And just as suddenly as he’d appeared beside me, Kirishima hit the ground.

That heavy hand was no longer on my shoulder.

And Kacchan was no longer in front of me.

In shock, I stared into nothing while hearing the distant sound of sweaty skin slamming against sweaty skin. I could see their shapes moving out of the corner of my eye—everything felt like slow motion now, and I couldn’t tell if everyone else felt the same or if it was just my brain playing tricks. A buzzing grew louder and louder in my ears, turning into an annoying, persistent hiss echoing inside my head.

I was sinking into myself, frozen in the middle of that massive court while two guys fought beside me because of me, when I snapped out of it with a shrill, piercing scream:

"KAT, FOR GOD’S SAKE, STOP!"

With my eyes fully wide, I turned my head toward them just as Katsuki dodged a punch and landed another on the face of his now ex-friend.

Uraraka, standing beside them, was yelling and flailing her arms frantically, begging someone to do something. Her friends, a bit farther back, were filming it all on their phones. The teammates, mouths agape, just watched. One or two stepped closer to try breaking it up, but with no luck.

Kacchan can be like a wild beast sometimes. I’d rarely seen him like this—all the times I had, my name was involved—but none compared to how unhinged he was now, with Kirishima’s blood on his fingers. When his eyes went blind with rage, like they were now, no one could stop him.

There was a cut on Kirishima’s cheek, dark red blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, yet he still laughed, finding humor in Katsuki’s loss of control. Kacchan, meanwhile, seemed in a deep trance, just punching and punching nonstop, so consumed by fury it was like he was possessed by some demonic spirit.

"Wake up, asshole, your reign’s gonna end when high school’s over!" Kirishima, panting like hell, shouted after landing a solid punch to the side of Kacchan’s face, throwing him off balance just enough to keep running his mouth. "You won’t be captain forever, or popular forever. Those bitches who drool over you? Those people who kiss the ground you walk on?" He cackled. "All fake. No one actually likes you, Katsuki."

Kacchan laughed, spitting blood on the floor. He straightened up, stretching briefly.

"How long you been rehearsing that little taboo-breaking speech?" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, locking eyes with Kirishima with a sharp gaze and a smirk. "‘No one actually likes you,’ wow, that’s the kinda thing—hm, maybe a fifth-grader would get offended by, maybe." He cracked his back and neck, the sound audible from a distance. "So you’re just pissed ‘cause I’ve got everything you wanted. Got it now." Kirishima’s brow furrowed. "You’re right, it’s all fake. That’s why, if I could, I’d hand all this pointless shit you want so bad right over to you, no doubt." He let out a nasal laugh. "Want some advice, dickhead?" He clasped his hands, cracking his knuckles now, a bigger grin spreading across his hard-featured face. Kirishima gritted his teeth, fists tightening. "Die, and maybe in your next life, you’ll get to be me."

And it was insanely satisfying to watch Kirishima’s face twist into a monstrous mask of pure hatred and envy.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" he roared at the top of his lungs. He charged at Katsuki, who just sidestepped casually.

The crowd erupted when Kacchan’s knee slammed right into the middle of Eijirou’s stomach, and everyone witnessed the moment his mouth spewed what looked like gallons of blood, splattering the polished floor red. The knee strike was so brutal that Kirishima’s limp body hit the ground with a dull thud, unable to do anything but groan in pain and agony.

The path cleared for Kacchan, who simply flipped the redhead onto his back and sat hard on his stomach, unleashing a barrage of punches to his face. It was an unreal, jaw-dropping sequence of blows—everyone watched, mouths open, unsure what to do. Katsuki’s arms were like machines at full throttle; I could barely track his movements, they were so fast. In five seconds, Kirishima’s face was just a bloody mess on the floor, and I finally managed to unstick my feet from the ground, running to Kacchan and throwing myself against his back, trying to hold his arms.

"KACCHAN, STOP!" As ironic as it might sound, that scene didn’t satisfy me at all. Seeing Kirishima get pummeled like that made me want to puke, and more than anything, I hated seeing Katsuki so out of control. I didn’t want to be treated like a damsel in distress, and above all, I didn’t want Kacchan getting in trouble or ruining himself because of me. "Kacchan, get off him!! Please!!" I slipped my arms under his and tried to lock them by pulling up, but then I realized just how weak I am compared to him. Stopping Katsuki, especially in this feral state, was like trying to catch sand with a sieve. I nearly cried seeing Kirishima’s face vanish under a pool of blood—my heart felt like it’d burst out of my chest! "KACCHAN, PLEASE!! YOU’RE GONNA KILL HIM!!"

And at that moment, his arms finally stopped moving.

Every inch of Katsuki’s body trembled, driven by the rapid breaths heaving out of his mouth. Frozen, adrenaline still pumping through his sweaty, tense frame, he stared down at Kirishima, who only had strength left to turn his head and spit a mouthful of blood onto the floor—but didn’t dare try to get up. Anyone seeing him like that, sprawled out, drowning in his own blood, too weak to even push Katsuki off, would’ve thought he was dead—or close to it.

The buzz was loud. Everyone was chattering, horrified by the spectacle they’d just witnessed.

And I could only breathe a sigh of relief that it was finally over. I’d almost feared Katsuki wouldn’t stop.

Well, at least Kirishima was breathing.

"You’re insane," I murmured in Kacchan’s ear. Still dazed, wide-eyed, panting, and covered in grime, he stayed motionless over Kirishima, his chest heaving hard—Kirishima’s barely rose; he didn’t even have the strength to breathe properly. I pressed my lips together, staring at all that blood on Katsuki’s fingers and the backs of his hands.

"I told you…" Suddenly, the blond muttered, and it took me a second to realize he was talking to the guy beneath him. "I’d stain this fucking floor with your shitty blood if you hurt him."

My eyes widened, the air leaving my lungs.

And to show he’d heard, Kirishima’s lip twitched faintly into a weak smirk.

Glancing around for a second, I shivered when I saw all those people staring at us. Uraraka, her friends, the players, and a bunch of other students who’d appeared out of nowhere. Before, there’d been maybe 15 people on the court—now there were probably over 50. All of them gawking, looking at us like we were in a horror movie. Swallowing hard, I started trying to pull Kacchan, wanting to get him off that nearly unconscious body.

"Kacchan, come on, get up…"

He turned his face to look at me.

That look, like he was saying, It’s done. I kept my word. There were some cuts and swelling on his face, but nothing compared to the state he’d left Kirishima in.

I pressed my lips together, nodding slightly to show I understood what his eyes were telling me.

"Get up, Kacchan. The principal’s probably on his way. Come on."

We locked eyes for a few seconds before he pushed off his knees. I, still holding his arms from behind, helped him stand.

Until we froze halfway when we heard Kirishima’s laugh, mixed with coughs and sprays of blood flying.

"You like him," he said between laughs, his voice absurdly weak, so hoarse it barely came out.

My eyes widened, every part of my body freezing.

Why was I so shocked? It was just like Kirishima to end it like this, delivering a final checkmate by confessing my feelings for Kacchan to him, completing his plan to humiliate me in every way possible. For a moment, I almost panicked, ready to deny everything, until Kirishima’s eyes actually landed on Katsuki, and his bloodied grin widened as he repeated:

"You like him."

I didn’t think my eyes could get any wider, and though I couldn’t see Kacchan’s face from this angle, I knew he was as stunned as I was—his body felt just as rigid as mine.

I swore my heart stopped for a second.

Kirishima wasn’t implying that…

Or was he?

No, it’s not possible…

"Oh my God, you like this nerd… you really do…" He spoke through mocking laughter, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth. "Fuck, this just keeps getting better…"

My shocked expression turned into a scowl.

Kirishima just wanted to throw me off balance again.

And, once again, he was succeeding.

Or worse, he wanted to humiliate Katsuki by making people hear that he likes me—which would be impossible since Kirishima’s voice was so wrecked even we could barely hear him.

"You’re lying there, all beat to shit, and even that wasn’t enough to shut your mouth," I said, finishing helping Kacchan stand. Kirishima propped himself up on his elbows, spitting blood again before looking at me with a sly grin and tossing me a playful wink.

I wanted to spit in his face, but I held back.

"How’s it feel to be saved by your prince charming again, Izu—"

And the thud of his head slamming back into the floor echoed through the court as Katsuki unleashed a powerful kick to his face, sending blood splattering everywhere.

Everyone in the crowd gasped in shock—they’d thought Kirishima was already at death’s door, and Katsuki, still not satisfied, delivered the finishing blow.

Okay, I guess he’s not opening his mouth anymore now.

"Did anyone else see a tooth fly?" someone asked.

"If he’s not dead after that, it’s officially a miracle," another voice chimed in.

"Kacchan, oh my God! Enough, you’ll kill him like that!" I exclaimed.

He sighed, turning to face me with a bored expression as he muttered, "Couldn’t stand hearing his voice anymore…" His eyes rolled before finally landing on me. His hand touched my wrist so gently it was almost like he wasn’t touching me at all—like he was afraid of startling me, like I’d flinch away from him. I lowered my head. "You okay?"

"Kat!" Uraraka pushed through the sea of students around us, accidentally shoving me aside as she wedged herself between us, not exactly subtle about it. "Kat, that was… that was insane! What got into you? Look at your face, oh my God, you’re all banged up…" Her hands frantically roamed his face and neck, searching for more injuries. He sighed, grabbing her hands and pushing them away.

"I’m fine," he said flatly, and I noticed Uraraka looked a little hurt by the dryness in his tone. But before they could have a relationship spat and I could slip away, the principal’s booming voice cut through the court, emerging from the crowd:

"What the hell happened here?" The middle-aged man stopped in front of us, his bulging belly straining the white dress shirt tucked into his brown pants. His neatly trimmed mustache matched the bow tie knotted tightly around his thick neck. His annoyed gaze assessed Kirishima’s unconscious body before settling on the blond beside me. "Good lord, Bakugo, you again?"

The boy sighed but didn’t argue, just crossed his arms.

"And what was it this time?" The old man’s eyes bounced between Uraraka and me, finally resting on me. He let out a heavy sigh, his reproachful stare piercing my soul. "You too, Mr. Midoriya?"

I pressed my lips together, looking away and hugging myself.

"I’ve got nothing to do with this, sir!" Uraraka jumped in to clear her name.

"Okay, all three of you to my office." He pointed at me, Katsuki, and even Kirishima, still sprawled in a pool of blood. "And someone get this kid’s body off the floor, for God’s sake. If anyone dares post a picture of this online, you’ll answer to me! I can’t let people think a murder went down here."

~*~*~

"Alright, Katsuki, I know you see yourself as the defender of the poor and oppressed, but you’d better knock it off right now." The principal adjusted his posture in that imposing black chair, which gave him the air of a king ruling the world, lacing his hands together on the desk. "I get that you and Midoriya are friends and all that, but we can’t have a scene straight out of a police database every time someone says a few bad things about your buddy."

The sound of Kacchan’s foot tapping the floor echoed relentlessly, his tense expression locked on the potbellied man in front of us.

"I wouldn’t have to play the defender of the poor and oppressed if you did your job, sir."

"I can’t just expel half the school because you asked me to, kid. I need proof."

"Are the school cameras just for decoration? To make the parents think you’ve got everything under control when you don’t even have a clue what’s going on—"

"Okay, that’s enough." He cleared his throat, straightening his bow tie. I’d kept my head down the whole time since we left the court. Now, in the principal’s office, I was seated between Katsuki and Kirishima, the latter sporting a bored look on his bandaged face, holding an ice pack to the top of his head—I’d even thought he was pretty tough when he said he didn’t need his teammates’ help to walk. "I already checked the cameras, and all I saw was Eijirou teasing you a bit before you went at him like a rabid dog—"

Kacchan slammed his fist on the desk, nearly knocking everything off it.

The principal flinched in his big cushioned chair.

"What the fuck—What would you do if some bastard came out of nowhere and started talking a bunch of shit about your wife in front of everyone? Would you cross your arms and wait for the damn authorities to show up, just so the prick gets a fucking warning?! Would that be enough?!"

The man let out a nasal laugh, adjusting the square glasses on his nose.

"Are you telling me Mr. Midoriya is your wife, Mr. Bakugo?"

I covered my mouth to cough while Kirishima snickered beside me.

Katsuki pressed his lips into a thin line, his brow furrowing hard.

I knew if the guy in front of us wasn’t the principal, his face would already be smashed into that desk.

"This matchstick-headed fuck humiliated Deku in front of everyone, and honestly, the beating I gave him was still too light."

"Wow, you’re so badass, huh?" Kirishima jabbed, and lucky for him, he was sitting on my side. "I’m shaking over here—"

"Alright, alright, don’t start again!" The old man cut in before they could go at it once more. He cleared his throat and looked at me. "And you, Izuku? I haven’t heard your side yet. You haven’t said a word."

All three pairs of eyes turned to me, and suddenly I felt tiny, like an ant among them. I swallowed hard, lowering my head and twisting my fingers into the fabric of my pants.

"W-well… I—"

"You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, Deku," Kacchan said gently.

"Let the boy speak, Bakugo."

I swallowed again, shrinking even more into that hard chair. I didn’t have the courage to lift my head and say what needed to be said. I didn’t want to look up and face the accusatory stare of the man sitting across from me.

"I don’t have much to say, sir. It’s like Kacchan said. Kirishima was making up lies about me in front of everyone, and Kacchan… well, he just wanted to defend me."

The principal sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"Don’t you think it’s about time you started handling your own business, Midoriya? Bakugo won’t always be around to protect you."

That hit me like a knife to the chest.

I already felt useless enough—he didn’t need to remind me…

I could tell by the way Katsuki tapped his foot and drummed his fingers on the chair’s armrest how much he was holding himself back from doing something crazy—or rather, something else crazy.

"With all due respect, sir, I think I can say the same to you. Don’t you think it’s about time you started doing your damn job? Maybe it’s time you dealt with the rot running through this school’s halls instead of blaming the victims and waiting for the students to kill each oth—"

"Just because you said ‘with all due respect’ doesn’t make it respectful, kid." The principal was already out of patience. "You’d better watch how you talk to me, Katsuki. I’m talking to Midoriya now."

"And I’m talking to you." He scraped his chair back as he shot up. I stared at Kacchan with wide eyes, gently grabbing the sleeve of his jacket—he’d changed while Kirishima was in the infirmary—and whispering for him to sit down. God, he’s going to get himself into more trouble like this! And all because of me—I feel awful!! "You’re not here to play fucking psychologist or counselor. The kid’s already shaken up as hell, so shut your damn mouth and do something right for once—"

"ENOUGH!" Mimicking Katsuki, he stood too, the sound of his heavy chair dragging back grating on my ears. "Don’t make your situation worse, kid. One more word, and I’ll pull you from the team." Bullshit. He’d never ditch the one thing bringing prestige to the school’s name. "Sit down now." He shot Katsuki a death glare, and the blond just clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth before slumping back into his seat.

Kacchan always gets out of these situations because he’s the team captain and brings in so many trophies, which boosts the school’s reputation. Not to mention he’s one of the top students with the best grades. The principal wouldn’t be crazy enough to expel or seriously punish a student like him, and they both know it.

If Katsuki were any other student and talked to the principal like that, he’d have been expelled by now—straightjacket and all.

"Alright, finally, let’s end this torture—I can’t stand looking at you three anymore. Suspension for the two hotheads, and—"

Kacchan’s scandalized expression would’ve been hilarious if the situation weren’t so grim.

"What the fuck, you’re giving me the same punishment as this animal?!" Katsuki cut him off. "You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!"

"Watch how you talk about me, huh…" Kirishima muttered.

"Or what, you gonna throw your little ice pack at me?"

"Listen here—"

"Enough, goddamn it!" The old man shouted, silencing them both. I swallowed hard, still too scared to lift my head. "Look, Katsuki, I know you’ve got a big game coming up soon, and for that reason—and only that reason—you’re not getting suspended, because I know the team needs you. But I want you here on the weekends cleaning the school, and that goes for Kirishima too, on top of his suspension to think about what he did." The redhead rolled his eyes at his sentence, smirking mockingly as he mumbled:

"Sure, I’ll think real hard while I jerk—"

I nearly fell out of my chair when Kacchan shot up again and lunged over me like an untamed beast, trying to go at Kirishima again. I didn’t even have time to grab him—the principal slammed the desk and ordered him to sit back down. Grudgingly, he obeyed, huffing as he slouched back into his seat.

"That guy’s an animal, a danger to this school’s safety—are you seriously gonna let him roam free?!" Kirishima exclaimed to the principal, who just sighed, rubbing his face and rolling his eyes.

"Shut your fucking mouth—if I see you on the street, I’ll kill you!!" Katsuki shot back.

"Ooh, scary! Been watching too many torture flicks—"

"SHUT UP!" The man in the big chair bellowed, glaring at each of us with furious eyes. "For God’s sake, this feels like a damn preschool! No, not even preschoolers act like this! Jesus, shut your damn mouths!" He finally snapped, taking a deep breath and adjusting his bow tie. I swallowed hard, flicking a quick glance at Kacchan and Kirishima. The principal cleared his throat, trying to calm down. "Fuck, insolent kids. Anyway, back to it. You two are cleaning the school on weekends. Kirishima, on top of that, I’m calling your parents and telling them about your suspension." Both boys listened to their punishments with bored expressions. "Izuku, you’re just getting a warning. That’s it—you’re all free to leave my office. Not another peep. Dismissed."

"A warning?" Katsuki fumed. "Fuck, he didn’t do anything!!" He slammed his fist against the chair’s armrest. "What a fucking injusti—"

"Watch how you talk to me, kid!" The principal raised his voice again, irritated. Katsuki huffed but didn’t push further. "No more objections—I run this school. Like I said, and I hope I don’t have to repeat myself, get out of my office. Now." He finished with his gaze locked hard on Kacchan, who just rolled his eyes, stood up pissed off, and headed out.

I gave a simple bow before standing too, tail between my legs, and followed Kacchan out of the room.

Before leaving, though, the blond turned to his ex-friend one last time.

"Oh, I don’t even need to say this, but you’re off the team. And if I see you on that court again, consider what happened today just a preview of what’s coming next."

The redhead, still seated with an ice pack pressed to his head—a pretty funny sight, I’ll admit—his face bandaged and eyes so swollen he could barely keep them open, flicked his gaze between the principal, perched in his massive cushy chair, and Katsuki, standing with his hand on the doorknob.

"Huh?" Finally, he stared at the older man, indignation seeping from every pore. "He can’t do that, can he?!"

Principal Tanaka sighed heavily, already anticipating the headache this would give him.

"Yes, he can," he replied, voice weary, shrugging.

"WHAT? NO!" Kirishima yelled, chucking the ice pack to the floor. "THIS ISN’T FAIR!!"

Katsuki smirked, tossing Kirishima a playful wink before opening the door for me to step out first.

The redhead’s shocked eyes and desolate expression definitely made it all worth it.

"HEY, WAIT, KATSU—"

Kacchan slammed the door hard as he stepped out last.

And as we walked down the hall, we couldn’t hold back our laughter, hearing Kirishima’s shouts and protests echoing from the principal’s office, where the poor guy was surely already feeling that headache kick in.

~*~

Kacchan and I were sitting on the curb behind the school, on a quiet two-way street that ran alongside a small forest separated by iron bars. It was a completely deserted area—no shops or anything nearby—just a road meant for delivering supplies to the school.

It was still far from dusk, but the sky was painted in shades of orange and pink. It would’ve been a beautiful, calming scene if I weren’t freaking out inside.

Katsuki excused himself for a moment to reply to Uraraka’s messages, but I knew he’d soon lock his phone and look at me, waiting for explanations—and knowing that was already killing me.

The suspense in that silence was torture, so before I realized it, I had nearly all the fingers of my right hand in my mouth, chewing my nails.

When Kacchan put his phone back in his bag, I cleared my throat, quickly hiding my hands between my thighs—because I knew if I left them free, I wouldn’t stop fidgeting, my anxiety was that bad.

"Sorry about that," he finally said after a stretch of that agonizing quiet, referring to the few minutes he’d spent on his phone. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and gave him a brief smile, no teeth. "I was telling her I’m sleeping at your place tonight."

My eyes widened at him.

"Oh…" I blinked a few times, processing that. "You are?"

"Yeah." He gave a small smile, resting his elbow on his knee and letting his chin settle in his palm, his eyes looking at me with warmth. "If you’ll let me."

I let out a little laugh, looking away.

"I’ll think about your case," I teased.

He chuckled, and we fell into silence again.

Head down, I stared at my own thighs, running through a thousand and one ways to start the conversation. But I didn’t even get the chance to try—my mind went blank the moment Kacchan’s hand landed on my knee, squeezing gently to get my attention.

I turned to face him, not realizing how close he was.

"Deku…" He pressed his lips together, looking into my eyes like he was searching for the right words. "You okay?"

And that simple question made me want to cry.

My lower lip started trembling without me having any control over it. His beautiful eyes on me made me feel exposed and vulnerable. It was like he could see all the pain inside me, and that scared me. I looked away and pressed my lips together to stop the shaking, but it just spread to my jaw and the rest of my body. In a dumb, useless reflex, I covered my mouth with my hand, squeezing my eyes shut as if that’d wake me up in my room, in my bed.

I didn’t want him to see me like this—a cornered kitten, about to break down.

My chest hurt.

"Deku, you don’t have to explain anything to me." His arm wrapped around my shoulders in a side hug, his calm, low voice enveloping my ears. His face was so close that if I turned toward him, I could easily kiss him. "And honestly, I don’t know if I could handle hearing it… I wouldn’t be able to stay quiet. If you tell me he did…" He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, like the mere thought was already throwing him off. "If you tell me he did… bad things to you, I’ll definitely get up right now and kill him." I glanced at him sideways, an involuntary tear slipping from one of my eyes. He pressed his lips together, his red eyes gleaming at me like my expression was hurting his own soul. He wiped the tear from my cheek with his thumb before it could fall. "You don’t owe me any explanations… I just want you to know I’m here." Stop. Stop this. My chest hurts, don’t you see? "I’m here for you, and I always—"

"No! Stop it—why are you saying all this?" And the tears came full force. I covered my face with my hands, sobbing loudly. My stomach churned and churned—it was hard to bear. "It’s my fault. I caused all of this, and even so, you’re saying all these things…?"

I don’t deserve your understanding or your kindness, Kacchan.

"Deku, listen to me, you—"

"I’m sorry." I buried my face between my knees, hugging them tight against my body. "I’m sorry, Kacchan! You warned me, you told me so many times, and I didn’t listen—I’m an idiot, I deserve all of this, I deserve for you to yell at me, I—"

"Izuku, stop!" He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up. I tried to hide again, covering my face with my hands, but he didn’t let me escape this time, leaving me even more vulnerable in front of him. Kacchan stared at me with wide eyes and a furrowed brow, completely confused. "You’re apologizing? To me?" He cupped my face with both hands, forcing me to look at him and deal with the weight of his gaze. "You don’t have to apologize to me, Izuku. Fuck, you didn’t do anything wrong, got it? You didn’t do anything wrong!!" I pressed my lips together hard, tears overflowing in my eyes. Hearing all that wasn’t as comforting as it should’ve been—it didn’t ease the guilt I felt.

The weight on my chest was so heavy it nearly crushed my heart.

"Why are you being so good to me? This… this isn’t right…" I started shaking my head side to side, not understanding any of it, not understanding why his hands held my cheeks so tenderly, like I was someone special. I definitely didn’t deserve this kind of reaction. Maybe he just pitied me for being so weak and stupid—that had to be it. "You tried to warn me, I didn’t listen, and then you had to get hurt to defend me—you don’t know how much that makes me feel so useless—"

"Izuku, wait—"

"It’s no use saying otherwise, Kacchan, you know it’s true!" I shouted, my eyes wide and blurry with tears. "I’m weak—that’s why people make fun of me, that’s why Kirishima thought I was an easy target!" I pushed his hands off my face, escaping his pitying look. "No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be strong, I’ll never be enough, I’ll always need someone to protect me, I’ll always need someone to—"

"Do you know why I wanted to be your friend, Izuku?"

That question stopped me.

A thousand words had been bombarding me nonstop, all blaming me, pointing fingers at me, but in that moment, they just vanished.

Frowning, I slowly turned to face him, not understanding why he was bringing this up now.

"Do you know why I started going to the art room every day to see you?"

I rubbed my hands over my face to dry the tears, staring at Kacchan while wondering where he was going with these random questions.

"You know?" he pressed, seeing my silence.

"Because you were tired of your idiot friends…?" I replied, a question mark practically etched on my forehead, totally confused.

He laughed.

"Well, that’s not untrue, but…" He paused briefly, looking away for a moment. Staring into nothing, he smiled, like he was remembering something. I got even more confused. "I liked the way you looked at me." He turned back to me, smiling beautifully. A simple smile, no teeth.

That kind of sincere, gentle smile.

If I weren’t losing my mind right then, I’d have melted at that smile.

"But…" I burned a few brain cells trying to make sense of it. "I thought you were gonna hit me and steal my painting."

"Exactly." Kacchan started laughing. I raised an eyebrow, completely lost. What was he even talking about? "Everyone always looks at me like they expect something amazing. They admire me and want to be my friend without ever even talking to me. They don’t care if I’m nice or not, if I say interesting stuff or not… I could say I like eating shit with piss for dinner, and they’d just laugh their asses off and think it’s the coolest thing ever." I let out a nasal laugh. Even without understanding where this was going, it was the first time Kacchan had opened up about something bothering him, and it warmed my heart a little. "But… when I saw you in that room, alone, painting…" He looked at me, smiling. "It was the first time I’d seen someone like that. You were in your own world, you were alone… but you seemed so okay, so happy. It was just you, your paints, and your brushes, and that was enough. You didn’t need other people there to talk to or give you opinions. You… man, I was so jealous of you in that moment."

My eyes widened.

I always thought you were so confident, so… I dunno, self-sufficient, I guess? The kind of person who doesn’t need anyone, you know?

Now I got why he thought that, though I didn’t see what was so amazing about me being isolated in a room during break.

"And when you looked at me…" He let out a nasal chuckle, shaking his head. "You didn’t have a fucking clue who I was. Maybe you did, but you didn’t care. You just wanted me to get lost, and damn, I never thought I’d love someone looking at me like I was a problem so much." He laughed. "You didn’t bother trying to please me or grin like talking to me was the best thing that ever happened to you. You looked at me… Izuku, you looked at me the way a person’s supposed to look at another."

"With… fear?"

He laughed, staring at me in a way that… I didn’t know how to describe, but…

It made butterflies flutter in my stomach.

"No. With honesty."

"Kacchan…" It was all too much at once—I couldn’t process it. "Sorry, but I don’t get—"

"I liked you that day, and I like you even more now." He scooted closer, sitting right next to me. I swallowed hard, my heart skipping a beat. I didn’t know if I should look at him or the tree in the distance. Shit, I’m shaking. "The more time I spend with you, the more I see how strong you are. You’re strong, Izuku. Stronger than anyone. Those assholes out there couldn’t handle half of what you deal with every day. You don’t have to be the Hulk and beat everyone up to be strong. That’s not what strength is. And it’s not pretending everything’s fine, or holding your head up and acting like you’re not sad. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to not want to go to school, it’s okay to want to run away, it’s okay to cry. None of that makes you weak or stupid." Those words hit me hard. I pressed my lips together, that burning sensation returning to my eyes. His hands went back to my face, his fingers cradling my cheeks gently. That warm feeling wrapped around my heart more and more. It was almost like I was floating, like… like I needed to hear this from him more than anything in the world. "You know why I’m strong, Izuku? Because I have you."

When I blinked, the tears finally spilled.

"Y-you… you’re calling me Izuku a lot, Kacchan."

He laughed. And that afternoon sunlight just suited him so perfectly.

I’d never seen that kind of smile on his face before.

That smile so… so…

For the first time, I felt like…

Her.

"You keep saying you’re nobody without me… but you never needed me, Izuku. When I first saw you in that room, you were alone, and you were happy, you were fine. You didn’t need anyone in that moment, just like you never have. I was the one who was messed up before you came along—I needed you to save me." God, if you keep this up, I’ll flood this whole place with tears, Kacchan. My heart’s gonna explode, rip through my chest… please… "You’re strong. You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met, Izuku. And I’m not saying this to make you feel better—I’m saying it because it’s true. You don’t change for others, you don’t try to please anyone, you don’t stop living out of fear of what they’ll think, you’re not afraid to be yourself, and fuck whoever doesn’t like it—deep down, you don’t really care. If you did, you wouldn’t be here crying—you’d be out there with them, trying to be someone you’re not." His intense eyes pierced my soul, leaving me unable to think, unable to breathe. His warm hands on my face like that kept me from thinking of anything else but… "You’re fucking strong, and you make me stronger every day—"

And I definitely wasn’t thinking when I lunged forward and pressed my mouth to his desperately. My hands gripped his shirt tight, pulling him close like my life depended on it.

The world stopped for a minute.

Kacchan’s warm hands froze on my cold face.

And my mouth froze on his.

I squeezed my eyelids shut, terrified that opening my eyes would make this moment slip away into some lost corner of time.

His lips were soft and hot as hell, and if hell felt like this, I didn’t care about heaven.

It was just a peck, but it was more intense and powerful than all the times I’d kissed Kirishima combined.

My heart was pounding so hard it didn’t even feel like it was in my chest anymore. I could hear the beats echoing in my ears, like someone had put a microphone to my chest and now my heartbeat was blasting through massive speakers for the whole school to hear.

My fingers clutched his shirt tight, afraid to let go and find out this was all just a dream. A beautiful dream.

The thousands of butterflies in my stomach finally burst free.

So this is what it feels like to touch your lips, Kacchan?

Is this how she feels?

Is this what it’s like to be that Heather, even if just for a second?

Every day, she wakes up and lives this dream over and over and over again.

And for her, it’s not a dream. It’s real.

But for me, it was just a dream.

And the dream had to end sometime.

When I broke the contact suddenly, my bubble popped just as abruptly.

And when all I got back were his stunned, wide eyes, his mouth slightly open, his body frozen in shock with no reaction, I realized what I’d done.

I’d completely fucked everything up.

My saliva went down dry as my eyes bulged, nearly popping out of their sockets.

I immediately let go of his shirt, my hands trembling like never before, suddenly cold as if snow were falling on us.

And I couldn’t keep holding his gaze, so lost and terrified in my direction, like I’d just stabbed him in the back.

Forgive me, Kacchan.

Forgive me.

So, with my breathing ragged, my expression completely panicked, and the feeling that I’d just killed someone hammering in my chest, I stood up and ran.

I ran like the gates of hell had opened, and this was my chance to escape.

And I fled, letting the wind carry the new tears streaming down.

Without looking back.

Chapter Text

I had already written and deleted about eighty or a hundred times, maybe. I’d typed at least ten ridiculously long texts before deciding that sending one might seem too desperate. Just that typing time—which, in the end, was all for nothing—had taken me two or three hours.

Frustrated at not being able to write anything I thought was good enough, I almost sent a voice message. But I scrapped it when my voice got all frantic and my words jumbled, and then I realized I was practically confessing right there.

I’d already paced through the whole house, every room, top to bottom and bottom to top. I walked so much I wouldn’t be surprised to look back and find holes where my footprints should’ve been—if I’d even taken my eyes off my phone for a second to check.

My mom was at work, so I had free rein to freak out.

When I was about to let out a scream of rage and chuck my phone at the wall, I took a deep breath. A really deep breath. And I came to the conclusion that if I didn’t stop staring at Kacchan’s open chat for hours on end like that, I’d definitely give in to the temptation to smash the window and slash my wrist with one of the glass shards.

I threw my phone onto the couch hard and marched to the kitchen. I yanked the fridge open in a fit of anger and went straight for the Pepsi bottle, but just as I was about to grab it, my eyes slid to my mom’s favorite beer can, strategically tucked further back.

I sat on the counter with the can in hand and started drinking, the burn in my throat giving me a fleeting sense of relief as I rambled to myself about what the hell had gotten into me to think it was okay to kiss my best friend’s mouth. My only friend. And straight.

I’d never been the type to act on impulse. In all the time I’d spent with him, I’d never let emotions get the better of me.

Then again…

Ever since Uraraka showed up, everything changed.

I’m not the same Izuku I used to be. And I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

I should’ve known I couldn’t hold it together forever. I should’ve known hiding these feelings would never be an easy task.

I was naive to think I could handle it.

Sooner or later, I was bound to slip up.

Like I did now.

The memory of his wide eyes and half-open mouth, staring at me in complete, pure shock, made me chug the rest of the beer in one go.

The last bit of daylight had already left the sky when I grabbed my phone again and, without overthinking it, sank into the living room couch and started sending him message after message—because I knew if I thought too much, I’d chicken out.

[Izuku]: sorry bout today

[Izuku]: idk what got into me

[Izuku]: don’t even know what to say tbh

[Izuku]: guess I’m just super lonely idk… u were saying such nice stuff…

[Izuku]: got emotional and acted w/o thinking, sorry

[Izuku]: took me forever to text cuz I was tryna figure out what happened

[Izuku]: and cuz I’m very embarrassed

[Izuku]: sorry

Kacchan read it right away.

And when the typing indicator popped up under his contact, I just panicked and flung my phone across the couch, burying my face in my hands.

Breathe, Izuku. Breathe deep.

The damage is already done.

Now just pray he buys your flimsy excuse.

Anxiety was pouring out of me in the form of sweat.

It didn’t take long for a bunch of notifications to ping one after another, echoing through the room and inside me. I lunged for my phone, nearly dropping it as I fumbled to catch it.

My hands were shaking.

For him to reply so fast, maybe he’d been waiting for me to say something this whole time?

Maybe he’d been thinking about what to say all along…

Maybe he’d been figuring out how to not break my heart.

And I just didn’t want to unlock my screen and see a message from him saying it’d be better if we kept our distance.

But I wasn’t sure if that’d be worse than getting his pity.

[Kacchan]: its cool

[Kacchan]: srsly its all good

[Kacchan]: yeah I was shocked af ngl

[Kacchan]: think I should say sorry, my reaction was peak straight dude lmao

[Kacchan]: but a surprise kiss wasn’t rly on my bingo card

[Kacchan]: I get it tho… I know ur goin thru some shit

[Kacchan]: prolly should’ve hit u up first or called idk… but I was still processing too and figured u needed space

[Kacchan]: don’t be embarrassed, chill

[Kacchan]: it’s just me  

That’s exactly why, Kacchan.

Because it’s you.

[Kacchan]: and I ain’t traumatized or anything lol

[Kacchan]: ur lips were kinda soft tbh lol

Okay, Katsuki.

I’m definitely not mentally stable enough for jokes like that.

I know he was trying to lighten the mood with that little quip, but my heart didn’t take it the same way my brain did.

I muffled a scream into the pillow next to me before grabbing my phone with trembling fingers again, staring at that open chat while trying to figure out how the hell I was supposed to respond.

No matter how chill he seemed in his messages, I was still terrified he was just being nice and had already figured everything out. Maybe he felt sorry for me, didn’t want to reject me outright because he knew I was in a bad place and thought I wouldn’t handle his honesty well. What if he was uncomfortable? Please, anything but that.

So, swallowing hard, I didn’t think twice before sending:

[Izuku]: glad ur cool w it, I rly just acted totally on impulse

[Izuku]: didn’t mean anything to me

[Izuku]: u know I wouldn’t have done it if I was in my right mind

[Izuku]: youre my best friend

And, pressing my lips together, I wasn’t sure if I’d sounded convincing enough.

So, as a last desperate move, I finished with:

[Izuku]: and ur like a brother to me

God, what a lie.

I had to lock my phone for a second and take a breather to process all the shame I felt rereading those last messages. I wasn’t proud of hiding behind lies like that, acting like a coward.

But what else could I do? I don’t have many options.

Maybe I should just… tell him the whole truth.

But knowing him the way I do, he might not say it, but it’d make him uncomfortable. He’d definitely feel awkward—not because I like him, but because we couldn’t be the same friends we were before. I couldn’t even blame him; anyone in his shoes would feel that way, especially since we’re so close. He wouldn’t feel as at ease around me anymore, because he’d avoid talking about Uraraka or being with her—more intimately—near me, not to mention he wouldn’t feel comfortable making jokes like the one he just did about my lips being… soft—which I bet he didn’t actually notice, because the kiss was too quick and he was too confused and shocked to think about anything else—because he’d know it’d affect me.

So why would I shoot myself in the foot like that?

When I picked up my phone and unlocked it again, Kacchan still hadn’t replied. But he was online.

He typed and stopped, typed and stopped. Maybe five minutes passed like that—five minutes that felt like hours to me.

I was already biting my nails, waiting for the text that was surely coming, but…

[Kacchan]: I know it didn’t mean shit

[Kacchan]: u don’t gotta explain

[Kacchan]: if I say its fine then its fine

[Kacchan]: ain’t gonna trip over a dumb peck

[Kacchan]: didn’t mean anything to me either  

My goal was to not shoot myself in the foot.

And without realizing it, I handed him the gun and let him pull the trigger.

That was the most I’d ever get as an answer to my feelings.

Without knowing it, he gave me his response.

It was enough.

Even though I already knew, it’s funny how we don’t fully convince ourselves until the person rejects us outright. In some cases, some people keep believing there’s hope even after being turned down—because love is tricky and uncontrollable. It’s like a part of us always thinks there’s a chance, even when we rationally know there isn’t. Because it’s what our heart wants, so it clings to any crumb, hoping it’ll turn into something whole.

With my jaw clenched, trying to hold back the tears burning in my throat, I lazily typed:

[Izuku]: good to know

[Izuku]: now u know u can’t be too nice or ppl gonna steal a million kisses lol >.<

The playful message didn’t match the silent tears streaming down my cold cheeks.

[Kacchan]: I’ll keep that in mind lol

And the conversation died there. I didn’t want to drag it out, and it seemed he didn’t either.

I turned off my phone and set it on the coffee table in front of me. I stared into space for long minutes and, at some point, ended up lying on the couch, gazing at the ceiling for probably just as long.

I fell asleep eventually, and when I woke up, there was a pillow under my head and blankets over me, meaning my mom had gotten home from work.

It must’ve been late at night, and she was surely fast asleep after a long day.

But me, like a spoiled kid who thinks a broken heart is the worst problem in the world, I got up and, tangled in the blankets, shuffled sleepily to her room.

I opened the door, and with the light sleep any mom has—because once you have kids, the 24/7 alert mode kicks in, and if they could, they’d probably sleep with their eyes open—she jolted awake, looking around until she realized it was just me. She turned on the bedside lamp, staring at me with worried green eyes. She knew something was off with me, because moms just know. They always do.

And when she asked if everything was okay, I gave a small smile, not bothering to stop the lone tear that finished its path down to my chin.

“I love Katsuki, Mom. And I don’t know if I can handle this anymore.”

She smiled at me, her shoulders relaxing. That simple smile, no teeth showing. A warm smile, a knowing smile. The kind of smile every mom knows she’ll give her kid at some point. The smile that said, I knew this day would come, sweetheart, and I know it feels like the end of the world, but it’ll be okay.

And maybe she’d been waiting to give me that smile for a long time.

She opened her arms, and that was enough. I didn’t want words of comfort, and she knew that wasn’t what I needed.

I just needed to sleep clinging to her soft, chubby little body, listening to the steady beats of her heart and feeling her chest rise and fall slowly, her calm breathing humming near my ear.

And that’s how we spent the night.

She hummed a lullaby softly to me, waiting for me to fall asleep, but she drifted off first.

I can’t say I didn’t cry quietly as her arms wrapped around me, or that the world outside stopped existing.

But I can say I slept better than I had in a long time.

So well that if I didn’t wake up again, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

~*~*~

Katsuki

[Izu(de)ku]: glad ur cool w it, I rly just acted totally on impulse

[Izu(de)ku]: didn’t mean anything to me

[Izu(de)ku]: u know I wouldn’t have done it if I was in my right mind

[Izu(de)ku]: youre my best friend

[Izu(de)ku]: and ur like a brother to me  

What’s the opposite of relief?

Because I kept staring at the open chat on my phone, rereading those messages over and over, trying to figure out why I felt exactly like that opposite—whatever it was, I couldn’t pin it down no matter how hard I tried.

And just like I didn’t know what word fit that feeling, I also didn’t get why I felt it at all. It was just… weird.

And annoying.

For the first time, I didn’t know how to reply. Every damn thing I typed felt ridiculous, and I kept deleting it. Why the hell was this suddenly so hard? I never used to overthink before sending him anything.

Was it, like, subconsciously his words bruising my “””ego””” or some bullshit like that?

No, no. What? Hell no. I’m not some asshole straight guy who thinks every gay dude’s after me. Besides, why would Izuku see me as anything more than a friend? I mean… he’s into art exhibits, he paints, and I’m just your typical high school jock. No way I’m his type.

And why the fuck am I even thinking about this?!

I should be happy, right? He said I’m his best friend, that he sees me like a brother. That’s good. That’s great! I feel the same way about him—I’ve even told him that before.

So why did reading that piss me off so fucking much?

After a while of trying to come up with something, I realized how stupid the whole thing was. Why was I taking so damn long to send a fucking reply? It didn’t make sense. So, pissed at myself and all those pointless thoughts punching me in the head, I typed fast and sent it to him without overthinking. I’d love to say it was just to comfort him, to let him know we’re cool, but somehow, deep down, I felt this weird urge to jab back at him (?), like that made any fucking sense.

He just said he sees me as a brother, which is honestly kinda sweet and means our friendship matters as much to him as it does to me, so why did I feel this knot in my stomach?

And I got even more pissed when he replied all casual, even throwing in a joke.

[Bakugo]: I’ll keep that in mind lol

I locked the screen. Normally, I’d hit back with a joke just as good, but I don’t know what got into me—I just didn’t want to keep staring at his chat and rereading the last messages. It was too damn irritating.

Huffing, I tossed my phone on the table, flipping it face down so I wouldn’t have to see if any new notifications popped up—I always keep it on silent anyway. I grabbed the burger I’d set aside when Izuku texted me and started eating again while that conversation—thank fuck it was online, I’m shit at hiding stuff in person—kept replaying in my head.

My face got more scrunched up by the second as those words took over.

I really just acted totally on impulse. Didn’t mean anything to me. You know I wouldn’t have done it if I was in my right mind. You’re my best friend. And you’re like a brother to me.

I bit into the burger so hard my top teeth clacked against the bottom. I grunted in pain, pissed off.

But why the fuck did reading all that irritate me so goddamn much?!

The doorbell rang, and I frowned. My parents were out on a date—though they’d never call it that, said it was too teenage a term—so did they forget something and come back? Weird, they’d usually call to let me know, tell me to watch the door or whatever.

I yelled a “coming” and hurried to finish my food. When the bell rang three more times in a row, I shoved my chair back hard, standing up while chewing the last bite fast.

“Coming, damn it!” I said with my mouth full, wiping it with my hand after swallowing in one go. “Forget your ass this time, old hag?” I rushed to the door and swung it open without a second thought. “I’m gonna start charging for th—”

“Kat!”

What the fuck?

My eyes widened a bit. She had that big smile like always and stole a quick peck as she brushed past me, walking into my house like she did it every day.

What’s she doing here?

“Your parents aren’t home, right? I know they’re not—you said something about them going out together.” She laughed. “I brought some sweets and snacks for us.” And from there, she started rambling about a bunch of stuff I didn’t catch, but I could tell she was super excited.

I closed the door slowly, still kinda thrown off by her showing up out of nowhere. I turned and saw her heading to the kitchen, practically bouncing. I’d brought her here once before, but we usually hung out at her place since she only lived with her dad, and he was hardly ever around.

I shut my eyes for a second and sighed, still standing by the door.

What a pain.

When I got to the kitchen, dragging my feet the whole way, Uraraka was already pulling food out of the bags and setting it up on the table.

Seeing her put all that effort in, all chipper like that…

It made me feel shitty.

“There’s this new movie on Netflix I’m dying to watch—I hope you’re into horror, I’ve been hyped for it since the start of the ye—”

“Sorry, but…”

She stopped what she was doing right away, looking up at me.

How do I tell her I’m not up for any of this?

Worse, how do I say I wanna be alone without upsetting her?

“What? You don’t like horror?” Her eyes widened. “Oh, that’s fine… what do you wanna watch then? Action? You seem like the type who’s into fight movies. I’m good with anything, you pick. Or maybe a series?” She laughed and, like always, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, flashing me that gorgeous smile.

Looking at her now felt… off.

She had this habit. She’d take a strand of hair that fell in her face and gently tuck it behind her ear.

That move, which used to be so cute and pretty to me, didn’t do anything for me now.

And realizing that threw me off.

Actually, now that I think about it…

It’s been a while since looking at her did anything for me at all.

“Look, I know I said I was gonna go to Deku’s place and then told you I didn’t end up going… but, well…” I scratched the back of my neck, awkward as hell. She was staring at me, all expectant, and I’d hate to let her down. “I didn’t mean it like… it wasn’t an invite, you know?” Her eyes widened, and I wanted to punch myself in the face. I huffed, looking away. Fuck, this was what I was afraid of—I knew I’d end up sounding like a dick even if I didn’t mean to. I’m shit at watching my words when something’s bugging me, and I can’t be all gentle, but I really didn’t wanna hurt her. “Look, sorry. Don’t take it the wrong way, it’s just… I’m not in the mood for anything today. It’s been a rough day, you know.”

She stood there, frozen, staring at me, her hands still in the bag.

Then she let out an embarrassed little laugh through her nose, looking down at the open packages on the table instead of me.

She’s a great girl, and I hated myself for having to do this, but I couldn’t just ignore what I really wanted and spend the night with her like I was fine with it.

It’s not about her. I’m just not in the mood—today was stressful as fuck, I’m still worried about Izuku, and I just… like…

It’s not about her, right?

This is confusing. Confusing as hell. A week ago, I was sure I wanted her as my girlfriend. I was even planning how I’d ask her out—after the state championship in a few weeks, I’d take her somewhere quiet and empty after the game, somewhere with a view of the city lights or some shit like that…

And now, I…

I just don’t see myself doing any of that anymore.

I don’t know what to think. Maybe my head’s just too heavy from the last few days—everything’s been exhausting, and with all the shit that went down today, holy fuck…

Maybe it’s got nothing to do with her. I’m probably just not thinking straight, mixing things up.

“Oh, I get it… today was a really bad day, huh.” She gave a small smile, no teeth. “Sorry for showing up out of the blue like this. I knew you weren’t feeling great, so I thought it’d be nice to keep you company, you know? Wanted to cheer you up a bit—”

“I’m fine. Did you check on Izuku, see how he’s doing? I think he needs that more than I do.”

The words came out sharper than I meant them to.

I could see in her eyes how much that hit her. Wide-eyed, she put a hand to her chest like I’d insulted her, letting out a disbelieving little laugh.

“O-of course I talked to him.”

The air got heavy. She was looking at me like I was being an asshole, and I didn’t feel much different, but I only realized how harsh I’d sounded after the words were out.

Still, it’s not like I could take all the blame off myself and say I didn’t mean it.

Because deep down, I really wasn’t in the mood to be patient.

“So…” She hugged herself, staring at me with those big, shiny eyes. I swallowed hard. “Are you saying you want me to leave?”

The silence dragged on for a few seconds.

I bit my lip, awkward as hell.

And I didn’t need to say anything for her to get it.

Embarrassed, she started packing up slowly. I looked away, scratching my neck, not knowing how to deal with that awkward quiet.

Her little nasal laugh pulled my attention back.

“I’m so embarrassed…”

Just as I was about to soften it by saying we could hang out another day, she added:

“You were ready to run to Izuku’s place without a second thought, but I show up at your house with a bunch of food, and it’s like torture for you.”

I frowned, the air suddenly getting thick around us.

Huh?

What’s one got to do with the other?

“You remember what happened today, right? Izuku—”

“Izuku this, Izuku that.” She stopped packing and turned to face me. It was the first time I’d seen that look on her usually happy face. “You only talk about him now, have you noticed?”

I let out a laugh, not believing what she was saying.

“Are we living in different worlds? Did you see the same thing I did today? The kid went through hell—don’t you think you’re being a little insens—”

“I’m not talking about just today, that’s what you don’t get!” She yelled, throwing her hands up and sending some candy flying everywhere. My eyes widened. “You know, it’s exhausting hearing people always hinting that you two have something going on, or making jokes about you being together. Even if it’s all bullshit, it’s just frustrating to be with someone who seems to care more about his friend than his own girlfriend—do you have any idea how that makes me feel?!” She pointed at herself, her eyes locked on mine like she was searching for something in me. “Everyone’s always talking about Katsuki and Izuku, not Katsuki and Uraraka, and I’m so fucking tired of it—”

“We dating?” I crossed my arms, frowning. “'Cause I think you forgot to tell me.”

Her lips parted.

The silence lasted a few seconds, and she stared at me like she was processing what I’d said.

And I didn’t regret it one bit.

In fact, I was holding myself back from saying more.

I can’t say she’s wrong to feel how she does. I’d even listen and take it seriously if she’d said all that some other way.

But her mistake was dragging Izuku into it.

Her rant reminded me of one he’d given me a while back.

The difference is, with him, I felt this almost desperate need to prove him wrong. To hug him and apologize. To say I’d never make him feel like that again.

But her…

I don’t think I care what she thinks about this.

Her sad face doesn’t move me.

And realizing that made me question what I really feel for her.

“What am I to you, Katsuki?” She started walking toward me slowly—and, to me, hesitantly—her arms hanging loose at her sides. “You…” She bit her lower lip, nervous, tilting her head a little. “You don’t like me?”

That question hit me like a truck.

I took a deep breath, dodging her disappointed gaze as I stepped past her, heading to where she’d been standing. I started gathering her stuff, packing it up quick.

I honestly don’t know how to answer you, Uraraka. And sorry, you don’t deserve to go through this.

A few days ago, I probably wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes.

But right now, the only thing I know is that I want you to leave my house.

“Look, you just caught me on a shitty day, okay?” I grumbled, staring at my hands as I packed up all that food, feeling awful seeing everything she’d prepared—and even worse for being a coward, dodging this talk and her sad eyes. But I can’t answer shit I don’t know. And I hate not knowing. I can’t just make a snap decision and regret it later. She’s an amazing girl, I just… I don’t know, today was hell, and it must’ve messed with my head. I was so sure of what I wanted—there’s no way that flipped overnight. That’d make me shallow, and I hate feeling like that, ‘cause it makes me feel as gross as everyone else at that school. “I’m not in the headspace to talk about this stuff right now, Uraraka. I just wanna be alone. Sorry.” I grabbed my phone off the table after packing her things. “I’ll get you an Uber home.”

“You’d never have the guts to talk to him like that, huh?” I looked up at her, eyes widening when I saw her… crying? “You know what hurts the most? You say you wanna be alone, but I know if he called you right now and asked you to go to him, you’d be out the door.”

“Are you hearing yourself?” I squinted, thrown off by where this was going. “Of course I’d go. I only didn’t today because…” I swallowed hard, thinking back to that kiss—if you could even call it that, just a brush of lips I barely had time to process. I looked away, scratching my neck with my free hand. Sighed. My stomach twisted every time I thought about it, but I didn’t know what that meant or if it had to mean anything. I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused—it’s a mess about so many things, I feel lost. I don’t know what to think anymore, and it’s the first time this has happened to me. It’s awful feeling like my body’s not mine, like I don’t even know what I want, like I don’t know myself. I’m stuck without answers, and I fucking hate that, ‘cause I hate not knowing. Uraraka probably thinks I’m stalling her, and I hate giving her that vibe, ‘cause the last thing I want is to hurt her. I shook my head to shove those annoying thoughts away. “Because, anyway, I felt like I shouldn’t. But he’s going through some fucked-up shit, get that. So if he needed me, yeah, I’d go—”

“You’d go whether he was messed up or not.” She cut me off, her voice calm despite the tears still falling. I shifted my focus to the table in front of me—easier than facing her sad eyes. I hate when people cry around me ‘cause I never know what to do.

But every time Izuku cried, I always knew what to do.

Not just knew—I wanted to do it.

I pressed my lips together.

“Uraraka, please, stop crying…” I muttered, clueless about how to handle this. It felt like I was rejecting her, and that’s not what was happening, but I still felt like a monster. I just wished she’d be a little more understanding.

Is she seriously mad that I’m worried about my best friend, who’s going through a rough time and only has me as a friend?

That doesn’t seem fair.

“You can’t even look at me.”

I huffed, dragging a hand down my face, exhausted.

“I told you, my head’s a fucking mess—I can’t talk to you the way you want me to—”

“You say you’d go to Izuku if he was struggling, but I’m standing here, crying in front of you, and you can’t even look at me.”

My chest tightened, and I met her gaze.

You like him.

Kirishima’s words flashed in front of me. I didn’t think much of it when he said it—just another jab I brushed off.

But now, Uraraka seemed to be saying the same thing.

“Why are you comparing yourself to him? That doesn’t even make sen—”

“Because he’s the only thing keeping me from having you all to myself—how are you so dense you don’t see that?!”

Uraraka regretted it the second it left her mouth.

She wiped her eyes fast and stepped closer to grab her bags. I just kept staring, not getting where all that resentment came from. It doesn’t make sense to me—she’s the girl I’m hooking up with, and he’s just my best friend. Why’s she acting like it’s the same thing? Like Izuku’s a problem…?

That pissed me off.

I’m the only person he’s got—besides family, obviously—and it bugs me that she’s being so selfish about it. Like she’s asking me to ditch him.

Maybe she’s got a point feeling shitty, and if I were calmer, I’d probably think over what she said more carefully, but right now, all I can do is put myself in Izuku’s shoes and feel pissed.

“Don’t do that.”

“What?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t make me choose between you and him.” I didn’t hesitate, dead serious, my brows furrowed tight as I stared at her, not blinking. “You won’t like the answer.”

The air left her lungs like a soldier with a sword through his chest, letting out his last breath. Her shiny eyes searched mine for a crack, but she didn’t find one.

She gave a weak smile, her jaw trembling hard.

“Fine. You’ve answered enough.”

And she turned, walking off with her bags, fast as a rocket.

I didn’t wanna chase after her.

But I couldn’t just let a girl leave my house this late and act like nothing’s up.

I huffed.

I ditched the Uber idea—it’d take too long, and she sure as hell wouldn’t wait. Grabbed my bike keys and went after her. She was walking fast, the rustling of her bags echoing down the empty street.

“Hey.” I called, but she ignored me. I sped up and grabbed her wrist. She stopped on her own—I wasn’t holding tight—though she kept her back to me. “Hand me those bags. I’ll give you a ride.”

She laughed.

“You think after everything I said and heard, I’m getting on that bike with you?”

“Look, I don’t care what you think about it. I’m not letting you walk around alone.”

She turned to face me, yanking her arm free.

“You don’t like me and still act like this—why?” She pressed her lips together, shaking her head. “I don’t get it.”

“I never said I don’t like you.”

“But you didn’t say you do. So what do you feel?”

I sighed, letting my head tip back for a sec.

I really don’t wanna have this talk.

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know!” I met her eyes. Those eyes that used to mesmerize me, but now… I could easily look away. “I’m confused. Can’t be more honest than that.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line.

“Is it because I didn’t sleep with you?”

What the fuck?!

“What?” My brows shot together, eyes wide, hoping I’d heard wrong. “Are you insane?!”

Uraraka swallowed hard and looked down, shifting her weight between her feet, probably realizing the bullshit she just said.

I decided to let it slide. She was just spouting crap without thinking.

I sighed.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. Maybe it’s ‘cause the last few days sucked, maybe not. I really don’t know, and I can’t give you a straight answer. Don’t take it the wrong way—I’m not trying to string you along. And sorry if I was a dick, seriously, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She kept her head down, staring at her feet. I shoved my hands in my sweatpants pockets and shrugged. I didn’t wanna be the asshole who breaks someone’s heart. “I feel shitty seeing you leave like this. I know you meant well coming here, but I couldn’t just pretend everything’s fine. And I don’t think you deserve someone who’d fake it. It’s not personal, and it doesn’t mean I don’t like hanging out with you or anything… just… listen…” I sighed heavy for the millionth time that night, tired of all this. “We’ll talk better later, okay?”

Uraraka let out a little nasal laugh but still wouldn’t look at me.

“Please don’t hit me with that ‘it’s not you’ bullshit. You’ve been off with me for a while now. You expect me to believe you don’t know that? Either you’re stalling, or you’ve got the emotional intelligence of a goat.”

I swallowed hard, not knowing what to say.

Maybe I do have the emotional intelligence of a goat.

She made me realize I don’t know what I feel or want. I don’t even think I can read other people’s feelings unless they shove it in my face. Does that make me shallow? Superficial? I always thought I was sharp, on top of everything, but now I see I’m not. And I’m so confused… but really, that confusion’s just ‘cause I’m figuring all this out now. Figuring out I’m not the guy who’s always in control like I thought.

I don’t think I even know myself that well, and it’s eating me up inside.

I clenched my lips tight, my stomach churning.

“But now you grab my arm, saying you can’t let me go home alone.” She looked up at me, her eyes red from crying that threatened to start again. Shit, shit. I don’t know what to do. Seeing Uraraka cry does hurt.

But seeing her cry instantly makes me think of Izuku crying.

And nothing hurts more than that.

Fuck, why am I the one comparing them now?

“You confuse me.” She laughed, her jaw trembling. I could see her fighting back tears hard, trying her best, and it broke me ‘cause it sucked seeing someone cry because of me. “You push me away, then act like a prince. I try to understand you, but it’s tough. I’ve never met a guy like you.”

If I wanted, I could turn this around and make her feel better quick. A few words, and I could do it.

But I don’t want her happy with empty words.

“I’m not being a prince. I just don’t wanna go inside knowing I let you walk alone down a dark street where some creep might see you and think it’s his lucky day. I think that’s how everyone should act—it doesn’t make me amazing, just normal.”

And she shot back right away:

“I wish all guys were normal like you.”

Silence.

It was weird looking around and seeing that street, usually so busy, now so empty.

It felt like staring at a reflection of myself.

Seeing Uraraka still standing there, probably not about to bolt, I walked calmly to my bike parked by the garage. Got on, started it up, and rolled slowly over to stop beside her on the sidewalk.

She looked at me like she wasn’t sure what to do, like getting on the bike would dent her pride, but I knew if she really wanted to leave, she’d already be gone.

“I’ll go alone, Katsuki…” she said, but she didn’t sound convinced.

I grabbed one of my helmets and gently put it on her head, making sure to fasten the strap right. She just stared at me the whole time, not blinking once.

“So we’re not together anymore?” she asked so quietly that if the street weren’t dead silent, I wouldn’t have heard. Maybe she kept it low ‘cause she was scared of the answer.

“It’s not that, Uraraka.” I clarified fast. “I never said that—I just said I’m confused and need to think. You’re the one reading it wron—”

“I’m a woman, Katsuki.” She smiled. A sad smile. “I know when I’m being rejected.”

“Don’t say that.” I got off the bike—after lowering the kickstand—and stepped closer, resting my hands on her narrow shoulders. Up close like this, our height difference was glaring. “I’m not rejecting you, that’s not it.” But you’re right. I don’t think I see you the same anymore. You don’t shake me like you used to. “But it’s no use pushing me for something now. We’ll talk later, okay?” I said as gently and carefully as I could.

But I hope I can give you all these answers soon.

And I hope I can figure out my own doubts just as fast.

I’m scared of ending things with you now and regretting it later.

There’s no way the good feeling I had for you just vanished like it was nothing.

That’s why I need time. To sort this out and figure myself out.

But I won’t keep you waiting long, I promise.

“Let me give you a ride, please.”

Even though she didn’t say anything, I could tell from her look that I’d calmed her down.

She thought for a sec, then weakly bumped the bags against my chest to hand them over.

“Just this once, okay?”

I laughed, nodding. There was a hint of humor in her shy voice, and it gave me some relief.

“Okay.”

~*~*~

Midoriya

The next day came surprisingly calm.

But of course, that didn’t last long.

The memories of that kiss were doing a damn good job of stealing my peace.

And the words my mom said this morning were partly to blame too.

I love your friendship with him. And it breaks my heart to say this, but you need to distance yourself from him, son. You need to meet new people. If all you know and think about is him, what you feel won’t just go away because you want it to. And no one can handle that. No one can get over a love like that. Especially not your first love, because I know how it is. I know how the first love feels like it’s the last.

And distancing doesn’t mean cutting him off. It means taking time to find yourself, but without him.

I think you’d feel better if you told him how you feel. But it’s okay if you don’t want to.

I really like Katsuki, my love.

But as your mom, I have to advise you to step away from him.

And trust me, it’ll hurt you as much as it’ll hurt me. I’ll suffer with you.

It won’t be easy.

But it’ll be better for you.

And you can get close again when your heart’s at peace.

Everything she said was stuff I already knew.

But having someone confirm that this was really what I had to do made me feel like I was stuck in an hourglass, and my time was running out.

I don’t know if I’d have the guts. He’s the only thing holding me together at that school.

Unless I went to a different school…

But that’d mean Katsuki and I would, over time, become total strangers.

And that new perspective scares the hell out of me.

I need to distance myself from him.

But I don’t want to lose him.

More than my first love, he’s also my best friend.

But…

You can’t have it all, right?

I need to lose some things to gain others.

Staying at the same school as him, I know I wouldn’t be able to pull back that much. He wouldn’t let me. And he wouldn’t get it. He’d ask why we’re drifting apart, and I wouldn’t know what to say. That’d make him think I don’t care about our friendship anymore, he’d get upset, and he’d never understand the real reason—and that’d break my heart.

But if I go to another school…

Our distance would just happen naturally.

And as a bonus, I wouldn’t have to deal with the people at that school anymore.

I dropped my head, hiding my face in my hands as the memory of that kiss hit me like a meteor out of nowhere.

But as your mom, I have to advise you to step away from him.

And trust me, it’ll hurt you as much as it’ll hurt me. I’ll suffer with you.

It won’t be easy.

But it’ll be better for you.

She’s right. The first love does feel like the last.

It definitely won’t be easy, Mom.

And now I’ve got this kiss to remind me. To haunt me.

As the bus rolled along its daily route to school, my face was burning, and I swallowed a scream every time I remembered. God, what a mess. I was so, so stupid. How could I be that dumb? How could I let myself get carried away by a few kind words? What the hell. What the actual hell! Why did I kiss him? Even though we’ve sorted it out now, it’s still not any less embarrassing. And kinda humiliating. I think I’m so worn out from everything that I’m just losing it, and that’s dangerous. That’s why I need to step back, that’s why I—

“Excuse me.”

Huh?

That voice definitely wasn’t in my head.

Slowly, I lowered the hands covering my face.

Almost frozen, I turned my head to face the owner of that voice, who’d taken the empty seat next to me.

Messy purple hair and tired eyes, framed by dark circles, looked at me with curiosity.

“Sorry for cutting into your moment there, but you’ve been muttering to yourself for like five minutes straight. If you want my two cents, don’t beat yourself up so much over a kiss. If that’s the standard, then we’re all idiots.”

My eyes widened.

What?

Was I talking out loud…?

Oh my God.

OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!!

IT’S ONE EMBARRASSMENT AFTER ANOTHER, DAMN IT!!

If I was searching for my life’s purpose, I just found it.

I’m only good for being the comic relief sidekick in movies. The one who pops up every now and then just to screw up and make the whole theater laugh.

If that’s how it’s gonna be, I’d rather take the extra role.

If you can even call that a role.

“N-no, it’s just… well…” I adjusted my glasses slipping down my nose, covering it with an over-the-top cough as I turned my face away—like that’d hide the insane redness burning my cheeks, and I’m not even kidding. “I-I’m writing a story, you know? And I’m kinda… like… trying to put myself in the character’s shoes to feel his emotions and thoughts better and—”

“Hm, got it. Would it help if I pretend to buy that?” I swallowed hard, and before I could yeet myself out the bus window, a hand appeared in front of me. “Alright, good luck with your story then. I’m Hitoshi.”

I widened my eyes and turned to look at his face. Still kinda blank and a little bored. Something tells me he’s always like this, happy or not.

Awkwardly, I raised my hand to shake his.

“Midoriya. But you can call me Izuku.”

“Oh, this is my stop.”

“O-oh, okay!” He got up and headed to the back of the bus. “Bye!” I waved, but then froze when I realized I might’ve been waving too hard—another embarrassment for the list, I wanted to smack myself.

He glanced back, gave a small smile, raised his hand in a subtle wave, and stepped off.

I rushed to watch him through the window as the bus pulled away, my cheeks still hot. Tracking him with my eyes, I saw him, backpack on, walking toward this huge, gorgeous building with tall structures and tons of windows. There were lots of people heading there too. They looked happy, and their energy even rubbed off on me a bit.

It didn’t seem like there were cliques. I mean, everyone had their friend groups, sure, but there wasn’t some hierarchy. No popular kids, no outcasts, no jocks, none of that. Everyone greeted everyone, talked to each other. At least, that’s what I picked up in ten seconds.

Even Hitoshi, who struck me as kinda aloof and quiet, got welcomed by a group of smiling people.

And up top, on the institution’s sign, it read: Yuuei High School and University.

For some reason, my heart sped up.

~*~*~

“Morning, Deku!”

I was greeted with a warm, tight hug.

From Uraraka.

I was a little surprised—it’s not something that happens often. Especially lately, with her being glued to Katsuki’s side.

But I smiled and hugged her back.

“Hey, Uraraka. Morning.” I replied as cheerfully as a messed-up, broken teenage brain could manage. “Where’s Katsuki?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Around somewhere.” She pulled back with a small smile, looking away while tucking that usual brown strand behind her ear.

I frowned.

That vague answer threw me off. And her gaze seemed kinda lost.

Something felt wrong.

“How you holding up?” She looked at me again, flashing a big smile, clearly trying to switch topics. “What happened yesterday… uh… must’ve been really tough for you.”

“Yeah. A little.” I gave a small smile, no teeth.

And we started walking side by side.

“I can imagine. Kat was amazing standing up for you like that—”

“Sorry, but I’m not really up for talking about it, okay?”

“Oh…” She blinked, awkward. “Sure, sorry. Exams start tomorrow, right? We should study together today. You’re not great at science stuff, are you? I could help with that, I…” And she started rambling about a bunch of stuff I couldn’t follow—it went in one ear and out the other, all because I was too hung up on one thing:

“You and Kacchan… everything okay?”

I regretted opening my mouth the second the words slipped out.

She looked at me like I’d stepped into some dark territory, and I immediately swallowed hard.

But then, weirdly, she broke into a wide smile.

“Of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?” She laughed. “We’re better than ever—didn’t you know?”

I frowned.

And her smile grew wider.

“We… well…” She let out a shy giggle and leaned in close to whisper in my ear. “We had our first time last night.”

And I’d never wished I was deaf more than I did right then.

Chapter Text

“That’s… t-that’s…” The words tangled on the tip of my tongue as my wide eyes locked onto hers.

Her eyes, so bright and happy.

So different from mine.

“W-well… that’s… it’s…” I swallowed hard under her expectant gaze, probably waiting for the congratulations I couldn’t give even if I wanted to. Suddenly, I felt nervous about not being able to come up with a response that someone without feelings for their best friend would have.

The girl beamed at me, her radiant look surely reflecting the night they’d had.

And I was scared my eyes reflected the night I’d had.

But she was too happy to notice any trace of sadness on my face. Her smile was so wide it stretched her big cheeks. And all I could do, in the end, was force a near-dead smile while my shoulders slumped.

I’d reached a point where, even though I wanted to keep pretending, I didn’t have the strength anymore.

“That’s… great, Uraraka.” But my voice didn’t sound like I thought it was great.

“Isn’t it?” She clasped her hands together, stifling excited squeals as she bounced a little. I was so… lost, I couldn’t fake anything. I couldn’t fake any joy or emotion for her. I just… stared at her, frozen, thinking about nothing and everything at once, lost in the abyss inside me. “It’s not just great, it’s amazing! I still can’t believe it!!”

We had our first time last night. It echoed so loud in and out of my head that I couldn’t see anything else—I could feel a headache coming on. The sentence took shape, swirling around her; this girl who’s so opposite to me. So beautiful, happy, fulfilled, desired, and admired in every way—by guys, girls, friends, teachers, everyone around her… and by the one person everyone wants to be desired and admired by.

I couldn’t even believe a girl like her was standing just a few steps away, smiling at me, looking at me, like I was somehow remotely like her.

I wish I could say I’m not jealous. That she’s different from me and that’s okay, because everyone has their own life, personality, and choices.

But why does it feel like she got all the good stuff and left me with nothing?

She doesn’t just have the dream relationship anyone would kill for—she’s got friends and a life. Yeah, a life. Because I’m not sure I can call what I have a life.

She has everything. I didn’t want everything, I never did. I don’t need everything.

And I know wanting Kacchan is asking for too much. Someone like me wanting someone like him is like a star trying to send its light to Earth—by the time it gets here, that star’s already dead.

That’s why it’s a wish I know can’t come true. It’s just a dream.

So all I wanted, at least, was what any teenager could have.

But why does it feel like I’m the only one who can’t?

Why’s it so different for me? Am I that boring? Do I not have even a halfway decent personality? Do people misread me? Am I accidentally giving off a bad vibe? Or do I just not fit in this world? Not that I think I’m some special alien or anything, but…

Maybe I just want more than I deserve.

“I’m so… God, it’s hard to even talk about it. It was so incredible! I still can’t believe it. He was so, so sweet with me… not that he isn’t already, but I was totally melted by all his attention and care. And it was completely unexpected, you know?” She started rambling, grinning nonstop. No need to say her smile stretched ear to ear, splitting her flushed cheeks. The smile of someone in love who knows it’s mutual. I know that smile well—it’s the one I always had in my dreams. My heart pounded, and I felt bad realizing I might actually be a shitty person, because her happiness made me want to puke. “I mean, Kat’s been kinda distant lately—I even thought he might’ve lost interest in me—but looks like it was just my head being paranoid, ‘cause he was probably just off because of that whole thing with you and Kirishima. Anyway, it was all in my mind, ‘cause everything’s fine now… I mean, more than fine!” She giggled. My stomach twisted. “God, he barely let me get out of bed this morning and—”

Too much information.

“Uraraka, I…” I squeezed my eyes shut to shake off the dizziness. “Sorry, but… I’ve got class now.”

“Oh, sure. No problem. Go ahead!” She smiled beautifully, her hand reaching out to gently pat my shoulder. The same hand that’d definitely roamed every inch of his body. “Just…” She tilted her head, and I knew she was about to ask something. “Don’t tell Kat, okay?” She gave a shy smile, her big, soft eyes looking at me. “I don’t want him thinking I’m blabbing about our private stuff, you know how it is, right?”

“S-sure…” I didn’t hesitate, nodding like a little robot.

“You won’t tell?”

‘Cause it’s not like I’d want to hear him talk about it either.

I’m past the phase where I wanted to know everything.

Now, I’d rather stay in the dark.

I don’t have the mental health to be curious anymore.

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Her smile widened even more.

“You’re the best, Deku.” She winked at me. “Thanks, see ya!” And she skipped off, leaving me stunned and frozen in the middle of the hallway.

In the middle of the hallway, I was surrounded by students rushing back and forth, all gossiping about everyone and chatting about how perfect their lives were and how stressed they were for tomorrow’s exams.

Standing there, stuck in that chaotic energy, I didn’t know if everyone suddenly sped up or if I was the one moving in slow motion.

A heavy sigh slipped from my mouth as my eyes followed Uraraka bumping into her friends, all giddy like they already knew everything she’d just told me, before the four of them disappeared around the corner.

And I couldn’t stop thinking.

Thinking that, even after everything—after that awful fight, the unfair punishment from the principal, the ridiculous scene we made behind the school, and… the kiss…

Even after all that, Katsuki felt good enough to sleep with her.

Guess that was his way of shaking off the weight of that shitty day.

Replacing my kiss with hers.

Because it didn’t mean anything to him, like he said.

He hooked up with Uraraka all night. So hyped he didn’t even want her out of bed this morning.

And I went crying to my mom, clinging to her like a kid scared of thunder.

I pressed my lips together, swallowing the lump in my throat.

That’s why I deserve so little.

Because I’m pathetic.

Like Kirishima said.

And Katsuki’s not wrong, not at all. It’s not like he owes me anything…

But I can’t shake this bitter taste in my throat. It’s ridiculous, because… it feels like…

It feels like I’ve been betrayed, and I know! I know it doesn’t make a damn bit of sense, I know! I feel stupid even saying it, but it’s true. I wanna punch him because… it’s like… deep down, I…

Even though he said it didn’t mean anything, even though he sees me as a brother…

I still hoped that, deep down—way deep down—that kiss made his heart race just a little, even if it was just nerves. I wanted it to mess with him enough to think about it all day—okay, all day’s probably too much, maybe just in the shower would’ve been fine—even if it was just to think, God, how did that happen?

But I should’ve known. I should be used to it by now.

As always, my expectations were too high.

Why am I still surprised?

So I really am that insignificant.

Insignificant to Kacchan, insignificant to Kirishima…

Wow.

Is there anyone out there who’d actually see me? Someone who’d lose sleep just from kissing me?

If you’re out there somewhere, please… just…

Show up.

Please.

I’m tired of waiting for you.

I don’t know if I can wait anymore.

“Did you hear what happened yesterday?”

Those distant words snapped me out of my trance.

“You didn’t hear? Izuku tried to get back at Katsuki for being replaced and hooked up with one of his best friends. Ridiculous, right? I always knew that kid was a slut of the worst kind.”

It felt like a hand was wrapped around my lung, squeezing it between its fingers, crushing it. Breathing had never hurt this much.

I looked around.

And every single person in that packed hallway was staring down at me like vultures. They didn’t hide it, didn’t even pretend. I was a target, a lamb surrounded by lions. If the world had no laws, I’d be dead right then. And they wouldn’t feel a shred of remorse.

A chill ran from my head to my toes, and my body instinctively shrank, my feet stepping back slowly, pure reflex, because my brain knew this was danger.

All those people wanted to hurt me. They looked at me like I was a plague. I could turn, run to the corner, and throw myself in front of a car, and they wouldn’t care. They’d take pictures of my body splattered on the ground. They’d smile and forget by the next day, because I’m not worth remembering. When headlines about a seventeen-year-old who mysteriously killed himself for no reason hit the news, they’d watch like they didn’t know me or just change the channel—none of them would want to remember I ever existed.

And I felt all of that in their stares.

They wanted me exactly like this: cornered, threatened, scared.

They wanted me to feel it in my bones.

They wanted me to know my place.

My place, right under their feet.

God, that kid’s disgusting. Doesn’t he ever look in the mirror? Makes me wanna puke just seeing him, right?

How could he stoop so low? Wouldn’t surprise me if he’s already tried screwing half the basketball team—obviously no one wants leftovers.

Kirishima’s so nice, huh? He deserves an award for charity.

Kirishima did him a favor, and in return he got beat up—life’s so unfair.

The whispers started, and I couldn’t even tell whose voices they were. Too many at once, one drowning out the other, and my brain couldn’t keep up. Just a jumble of words scrambling my head, blurring my vision—I was dizzy, and there was no one to catch me, only to knock me down. I tried keeping my eyes open, fighting the dizziness, because I knew if my legs gave out and I passed out, I’d be gone for good. My mom would search for me until her last day and still never find me. My body would be so trampled by all those thousands of feet that there might not even be ashes left.

Why does Katsuki defend this nasty kid so much? For God’s sake, when’s he gonna wake up?

Kirishima got suspended for telling the truth—you can’t even have free speech anymore?

Seriously, if this kid wants to be the school slut so bad, he can’t complain if he gets raped later.

He’s begging to get raped and then plays the victim for Katsuki—give me a break!

If he got raped, I’d thank the guy.

A wave shot up fast from the pit of my stomach.

I ran as fast as my shaky, weak legs could carry me.

Heart pounding out of my chest, I climbed what felt like two hundred flights of stairs—but my breathing was so ragged and my head hurt so bad, I knew I couldn’t have made it past three.

And when I finally found myself alone mid-staircase, I threw myself forward without thinking, half my body leaning over the iron railing, my head heavy, lifting my feet off the ground, and I puked everything inside me.

A crushing cold swept through me, goosebumps prickling every tiny hair. My blood pressure dropped. I was dizzy, and nothing made sense anymore. I felt light as a feather, my mind blank. I closed my eyes as gravity pulled me, and for a moment, that feeling was freeing.

I really wanted to know what it’d be like to be free.

I almost let myself go.

I liked you that day, and I like you even more now.

But suddenly, I opened my eyes.

And my heart raced as I remembered…

You’re strong, Izuku. Stronger than anyone.

As I remembered the shiny blond hair and gentle red eyes…

You know why I’m strong, Izuku? Because I have you.

And my feet hit the ground as I remembered.

Remembered the blond hair and red eyes…

That’d made me cry so much, lament so much…

But now gave me strength to stay.

Gripping that iron bar with trembling fingers, I let my body drop to my knees on the cold floor, a loud sob breaking from my throat and echoing off the empty walls.

Thanks, Kacchan.

I still don’t think I’m that strong person you keep saying I am, but…

I’ll try to be, so I don’t let you down.

So…

Thanks for making me stay.

~*~*~

When the bell for the start of the first period rang and I could no longer hear the distant sound of laughter and voices in the halls, I grabbed my backpack, wiped my eyes, slung it over my shoulders, and hurried down the stairs.

I wasn’t staying in that school for another second.

I had no reason to stay.

And honestly, this decision had nothing to do with Kacchan anymore. At first, yeah, wanting to switch schools was about him. Because what I feel for him isn’t good for me or our friendship. But regardless of him, I can’t take this place anymore—so full of bad shit. These people so… so different from me.

Thinking about it now, I can’t even remember a single good moment this school ever gave me. The only good thing it brought me was meeting Kacchan. And maybe those few minutes I got to spend alone in the art room, the only place I could relax my shoulders because I knew no one was watching—but even that was far from happiness.

When I spent my breaks there with Kacchan…

That, yeah, was happiness.

I wished those moments could last forever.

But now, I’m leaving this place.

And Kacchan’s staying.

We won’t have an art room to hang out in anymore.

Even though my heart already ached for a future I’d miss, I knew there was no other way.

It hurts.

But it’s better this way.

Because… if it’s not like this…

If I stay in this school…

Unlike today, that staircase scene might not have a happy ending next time.

It took me too long to accept that I don’t have to endure what’s unbearable. Looking back, I think anyone in my shoes would’ve left ages ago.

You’re stronger than anyone. Those assholes out there couldn’t handle half of what you deal with every day.

But I held on. I held on because I thought leaving would make me weak.

And mostly, I held on because of you, Kacchan. Even though you never asked me to.

You don’t have to be the Hulk and beat everyone up to be strong. That’s not what strength is. And it’s not pretending everything’s fine, or holding your head up and acting like you’re not sad.

But now, this goes way beyond you or anything else.

It’s for me.

It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to not want to go to school, it’s okay to want to run away, it’s okay to cry. None of that makes you weak or stupid.

You’re right, Kacchan.

Running away now doesn’t make me weak or stupid.

And if it does, I don’t care anymore.

Because I know stepping out those huge gates for good is what’s gonna make me happy.

Because the joy I felt walking—no, running—through those empty halls toward the open gates, even with tears still falling, was the freedom I’d been chasing.

Ironically, I’ve never felt stronger in my life than I do right now.

It seems easy, but it’s not easy to say goodbye to what hurts us. We get comfortable, we’re scared to change, scared to do something about it and make things worse. We always wait for someone to save us, maybe because it’s more comforting than facing the terrifying truth that it’s no one’s job but ours. And we don’t want to face what scares us.

That someone doesn’t exist. The person on the white horse—sorry, but they’re not real. They can try to protect you, give you strength, guide you to the exit you’re desperate to find…

But they can’t walk there for you. You’ve got to go, on your own two feet.

Because the way out? Only you can find it.

I didn’t care that exams started tomorrow, didn’t care that it was mid-year, didn’t even care if I had to repeat a grade—if it meant never seeing those people again.

When I stepped out of that place, it’d be for good.

I’d go, without looking back.

I’d go, with a clear conscience and my heart pounding with anticipation for what’s next.

And I wouldn’t come back even if they paid me. Not even if the Pope begged on his knees.

I’d tell him even hell wouldn’t be this torturous.

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t notice the figure walking toward me in that now-empty hallway—not until I crashed into them.

Startled, scared it might be an attack, I kept my head down and sidestepped.

Please, I was so close to finally leaving…

Is even this too much to ask?

“S-sorry, I didn’t see y—”

“Deku.”

My eyes widened, and I spun around fast to face him, seeing him with a confused smile and furrowed brows.

I didn’t know if I was relieved it was Kacchan or panicking for the same reason.

How can I leave this place so easily now that I’ve seen his face?

I’d rather it’d been some homophobic bully than him.

“You okay? You’re totally zoned out.” He laughed. “Skipping class or…?”

I let out a nervous chuckle, looking away as I gripped my backpack strap tighter.

Fuck, did I have to run into Kacchan of all people?

Seriously. Saying I’ve got bad luck is putting it way too lightly.

I didn’t want to tell him I’d decided to switch schools, because I knew even if he didn’t try to stop me, one sad look from him would make me waver.

And I didn’t want to waver.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” I replied, unable to meet his eyes, my heart racing. On top of everything, it was hard to talk to him like nothing happened, like I hadn’t been completely humiliated right before he showed up. And I definitely wasn’t telling him about that—I was tired of needing his protection. What could he do? Chase down everyone who said I deserved to be raped and beat them up? And how would that change my life? It’d just give them more ammo to talk about me. I was done being the center of attention. “Class already started, you know.”

“My mom was having some trouble with her computer—old people stuff, you know how it is…” He sighed, and though he didn’t say it, I knew Aunt Mitsuki well enough to bet she didn’t make it easy for him. Plus, he probably left home with his ears ringing from her pissed-off yelling—I could picture it perfectly. “So I had to stick around and help, and it ended up making me late.”

My eyes wouldn’t stay still. I’d already stared at the lockers, the floor, the ceiling, the doors… and now I was fixated on my beat-up sneakers.

“Hm, got it.”

Silence.

Nervous, I cleared my throat and adjusted my backpack, gearing up to leave and escape his sizing-me-up stare.

“Alright, then. See you lat—”

“You’re not pissed about yesterday, are you?”

I froze and, this time, had to look at him.

Kacchan was scratching the back of his neck with one hand, the other stuffed in the pocket of his black-and-red team jacket. He looked a little awkward, and it threw me off.

“Yesterday…?” I asked, not sure what he meant.

If I'm pissed you banged your girlfriend all night?

Yeah, but it’s not like I can say that.

“The kiss.” He said, blunt.

My eyes widened, and now I was the awkward one.

I looked away.

Of course, the kiss. Obviously he meant that. Yeah. Makes more sense.

“Oh… the kiss.” I clasped my hands behind my back, biting my lips in pure nerves, trying to play it off with a shaky laugh. “Well, I don’t know if we can call that a kiss, but…”

“Peck, kiss, whatever you wanna call it.” Why’d he suddenly sound so impatient? “You’re going out of your way not to look at me, so I asked.”

“Me?” I laughed and, to prove him wrong, forced myself to meet his eyes. “Your imagination. I just… don’t feel great, so I’m heading home…”

“Hm.”

And I looked away again, ‘cause I’d stared long enough.

Silence again.

And my eyes started darting around, looking at everything but him.

“So that’s it. I’m go—”

“It’s raining, you know.”

“What?”

“Outside.” He pointed with his index finger, like he was talking to a lost kid. I glanced at the open exit, and yeah, it was raining. Holy crap, how’d I not notice that? I flushed with embarrassment. I’m losing it. No, this school’s driving me insane! “It’s raining.” He repeated, like he doubted I’d gotten it even after he made me look.

“O-oh…” I swallowed hard. “O-of course I know!” I blurted out between nervous laughs. “You think I’m an idiot?” Yeah, I am. “But it’s fine, I don’t mind getting a little we—”

A deafening thunderclap made me jump.

Kacchan laughed behind me.

“Got it. Just not sure if boats can make it here.”

Oh, fuck.

I huffed, rolling my eyes.

What a pain.

“No big deal, I… I dunno, I’ll wait for it to lighten up.” I crossed my arms, still half-turned away from him. “Thanks, catch you later. Go on, don’t be even more late for class…”

Please, go, was what I kept repeating in my head.

But of course, nothing goes how I want. Maybe if I’d thought please, stay, he would’ve left.

There it is—that’s my problem. I need to start thinking the opposite of what I want, and maybe then things will work out.

“Come on, Deku…” I felt him step closer. I pressed my lips together. “Relax. I told you it’s fine. You don’t need to be like this. Nothing’s changed between us, okay? You don’t have to—”

Actually, Kacchan, me stupidly kissing you is the least of my worries right now.

“It’s not about that, Kacchan.” I let out a nasal laugh, still not looking at him. “I don’t give a damn about that dumb peck.” And I only managed to say that because I wasn’t facing him, but for some reason, I regretted it the second it came out.

Silence again.

“Cool.” That’s all he said. “Good. Great, then.”

I didn’t say anything.

I stood there, frozen, arms crossed, watching the rain pour through the open doors.

And the seconds ticked by, and I could still feel him behind me.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

“You just gonna stand there or…?”

“Yeah.” He snapped. “Every citizen’s got the right to come and go freely, don’t you think?”

I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t in the mood for his dumb jokes. I just wanted to be alone, because I felt like garbage and it sucked having to pretend I didn’t. That’s why it was so hard to look at him.

And I’m awful at pretending.

“Agree. So how about you start by freely heading to your classroom, huh?”

“You cold?”

I frowned, thrown off by the random question.

“Huh?” I figured he’d hit me with another lame joke and braced myself to shut it down and leave.

“Your arms. You’re shaking.”

“Oh…” I glanced down and saw my crossed arms were trembling a bit. Guess that’s why I’d crossed them—to warm up. That rain came out of nowhere and… okay, the sky was kinda cloudy when I left home, but I didn’t think it’d pour like this… plus, I hate carrying umbrellas. “Oh… no, no. Your imagination.”

“My imagination? What, am I schizophrenic now?”

“Schiz— I mean, no. It’s just… uh, an involuntary reaction, but saying I’m cold is a little strong and—”

I stopped talking when a big, thick piece of fabric dropped over my shoulders, arms, and back—almost like a blanket, so huge on me it made me feel even smaller than I already was.

The team jacket.

I’d forgotten what it felt like…

“What’s this?” I turned to face him—something I’d been avoiding hard until now.

And I didn’t want to remember again.

“You’re cold.” He answered like it was obvious, his toned arms now bare.

“And you’re not?”

He shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy jeans.

“I’ll manage.” He said, looking at me with indifference.

I pressed my lips together.

I’m tired of being treated like this—like the fragile, vulnerable kid. Back then, I didn’t mind, I even liked it—a lot—felt special, but now none of it makes sense anymore. No wonder everyone talks about it; it’s ridiculous. I got nervous just imagining some student showing up and catching us in this cheesy drama scene.

“I’m fine.” I yanked the jacket off—maybe too roughly—and tossed it at him. He furrowed his brows hard. “I don’t want it.”

And I knew I’d pushed him over the edge when his eyes went dull.

“Man, what did I do to you?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why’re you being such a dick to me?!”

“I’ve just got a fucking headache, and now it’s pouring outside, I just wanna go home, that’s it!”

“Then I’ll give you a ride.”

“I don’t want a fucking ride! Go ask your girlfriend if she’s cold and give her this damn jacket already!”

I stormed off, marching toward the exit, and I wouldn’t stop even if a goddamn flood hit.

But Katsuki, unbearable as always, grabbed my wrist.

“What the hell! What do you—”

“Did something happen?”

My eyes widened, caught off guard by that calm question. I was expecting him to lose it—after all, I’d given him every reason to get pissed and yell at me.

I stared at him, unsure how to keep up this pointless argument after a question like that.

“What?” Confused, I tried pulling my wrist back, my heart nearly jumping out of my chest. “Of course n—”

“Bullshit.” He said it so seriously a chill ran through me, his red eyes locked on mine. I kept trying to free my wrist, but he wouldn’t let go, even though he wasn’t gripping hard. “Something happened, didn’t it? That’s why you’re bailing like this, why you’re acting this way. Feeling sick, my ass—you’re a shitty liar.”

“It’s not a lie!!”

“Yeah, it is. You think I’m an idiot? Why’re you lying to me? And avoiding me like this…?”

Too many reasons to count.

And there was such a mess of feelings inside me, I just wanted to scream.

“N-no, I’m just—”

“Someone said something to you, didn’t they? They talked shit again?” Suddenly, he paused, like something clicked in his head, like he’d remembered something. His eyes turned sharp. “Or was it Uraraka?”

Don’t tell Kat, okay? I don’t want him thinking I’m blabbing about our private stuff, you know how it is, right?

I swallowed hard.

“N-no.” I knew my answer wasn’t convincing enough, so I looked at him firmly, trying to sound confident, and doubled down: “She didn’t say anything. Why would she? It’s not like she’s got something to tell me, right…?”

And I don’t get why he got so serious asking that, like he didn’t want Uraraka to have told me they slept together.

Has he already figured out I like him? Does he know that kind of thing would hit me hard?

Kacchan, still staring at me, didn’t say anything else, apparently out of arguments.

I felt his fingers loosen around my wrist, and I finally pulled free.

We stood there, facing each other, serious, like two leopards about to fight over a carcass—though calling myself a leopard’s a stretch, a fox is more like it.

“What’d they say to you, Deku?” He brought it up again, and it was starting to piss me off. I didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to say what happened before he showed up or that I was already wrecked because of Uraraka, let alone that I was leaving the school for good—because I was scared he’d try to make me stay somehow.

“What?” I frowned. “I already said n—”

“You denied it about Uraraka when I asked, but not about the others.”

Shit.

“And after yesterday, of course they’d say some crap to you… so come on, spit it out. What happened? Why’re you bailing like this?”

Staring at him, the idea of spilling everything and crying my eyes out sounded tempting.

But I couldn’t. I didn’t want him to be my savior anymore, or feel like he had to be.

“You’re sad. I can see it in your eyes.”

I looked away, clutching the jacket fabric between my nervous fingers.

Kacchan, I’m leaving. I’m getting out of this school. I won’t need you to save me anymore. And I won’t have to deal with those pretty red eyes that always make my heart race.

It’s okay. Everything’ll work out.

Don’t worry anymore.

“I told you.” I finally answered, dropping my head. “Just a headache.”

Silence again.

And this time, it felt like our full stop.

He wouldn’t push anymore.

And I didn’t know if my heart hurt from relief or…

“Got it. Good thing it’s just that, then.” His slightly sarcastic tone made it clear he didn’t buy a damn word I said.

He was disappointed.

I bit my lip, nervous.

“Glad you get it.”

My heart hurt. A lot. Too much.

But I had to push him away. For me, for him. For us.

It’ll be better this way, Kacchan. You don’t see it now, but… maybe someday you will.

“I miss when we were honest with each other.”

My eyes widened at the soft, loaded words that came out of his mouth, and before I could even lift my head to meet his gaze, Kacchan—gentler than before, maybe even more so—draped his jacket over me again.

With furrowed brows and bulging eyes, I stared at him, too stunned by those sudden words to process this new move.

“Kacchan… what—”

His hands, gripping the collar of his jacket—now adorning my body—held firm and pulled me closer, and I wanted to die when the jolt brought my eyes straight to his lips.

I could feel his warm breath on my face, and this was definitely some shitty drama scene I’d never want to watch.

“Keep it. It’s cold.”

“Kacc—”

“No need to give it back. It’s yours.”

My eyes nearly popped out, speechless.

What…?

He gave me his jacket?

“I’m heading to class.” And just like that, he turned and walked off, casual as ever.

He left, leaving me with the red-and-black team jacket, number 01 and “Bakugo Katsuki” plastered huge on the back.

What the fuck just happened?

Like he somehow knew this was a goodbye.

I didn’t want to watch him walk away like I was the character who screwed up the plot, so I turned and headed for the exit.

But I couldn’t help it.

I glanced back over my shoulder.

And there he was, almost at the hallway’s curve, looking back at me over his.

I snapped my head forward, my dry swallow scratching my throat.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

What a fucking mess.

But wait, no. Seriously, what was that? Huh? What just happened? He didn’t really give me his jacket, right? He was bluffing. For sure. Just trying to make a dramatic exit.

No way he meant it.

I mean… his jacket. It sounds dumb, but it’s not. It’s the damn team jacket. You know the kind of status that thing carries at school? Especially with the captain’s name on it.

And he just gave it to me? To me? Fuck, why? He’s got a girlfriend…

Getting stuck with a head full of questions like this pisses me off.

I don’t even know why I acted like that with him. In the moment, it made total sense.

But thinking about it now, I just…

I don’t get what happened.

Well, it’s not like I’d make some mature, sane move after hearing people say they’d like me to be… well, you know. Hearing that from one person would be bad enough, but a bunch?

The nausea hit hard again.

I bolted to the bathroom, locked myself in a stall, flung the toilet lid up, and puked again.

There was a small window in there, and I could still hear the rain outside.

I closed my eyes, sighed heavy, and let my body slump to the floor, leaning back against the stall door.

I just wanted to get out of this hellhole already. Was even that too much to ask?

Slouched on that cold tile, I stared at the nice jacket draped over me.

I clutched it between my fingers.

I wanted to take it off—didn’t want to risk someone seeing me like this, could already imagine the shitstorm—but… it was really cold.

No need to give it back. It’s yours.

I don’t want this jacket to remind me of you. To remind me of everything you made me feel. The bad stuff… the good stuff…

The good stuff’s the worst part, I think.

Because that’s what really haunts you. That’s what makes it so hard to forget and move on.

I pressed my lips together, my eyes welling up.

I’ll give it back, Kacchan.

Because I’ll never wear this jacket—otherwise, I’ll cry every time I put it on.

Otherwise, I’ll cry every time I open my closet and see it hanging there.

Otherwise, I’ll cry…

Because I’ll remember you.

And everything we can’t be.

~*~*~

Uraraka

Six years ago, sixth grade

“Hey, have you guys seen the new kid?”

I stopped copying the lesson the teacher was writing on the board to look at Keiko on my right.

“Huh? Who?” I asked, my brow slightly furrowed, curiosity already tickling my stomach.

“You don’t know?!” Hina suddenly butted in, startling me as she whipped around so fast. “Everyone’s talking about him!”

“He’s gorgeous!” Keiko chimed in, all excited.

“There are tons of people at this school, guys, how would I know?” I let out a laugh. Wow, for them to talk like this, this boy must really stand out. Oh, now I was super curious! I bit the tip of my thumb, trying to think of any guy like that around. “Maybe I’ve seen him, what’s he like?”

“He’s blond and tall, way different from these little half-pint boys—”

“Oh, honey, if you’d seen him, you wouldn’t have forgotten,” Hina declared.

I looked at Keiko, waiting for her to keep describing him, but apparently, she found Hina’s point pretty solid, because she just shrugged and nodded, adding:

“Oh, she’s right. We’ll show him to you later, Uraraka!”

“Just don’t go falling for him, okay?” Hina flashed a sarcastic grin. “I heard he doesn’t give just anyone the time of day.”

“What? Oh, come on, please!” I laughed. “Like I’d fall for a guy just because he’s prett—”

“Girls, please, keep it down back there!” The teacher called us out, and the girls quickly turned back around. I dropped my head like they did, grabbed my pencil, and started writing again.

I couldn’t really focus for the rest of class—I was way too curious about who this kid was. Sure, Hina and Keiko can get a little over-the-top sometimes, maybe he’s not even all that! And even if he is, I don’t care. Those cute, popular boys are the biggest jerks, exactly because they know they’re good-looking and can get away with anything—there’s always gonna be people chasing after them.

Well, I’m just curious, that’s all. Curiosity doesn’t kill, right?

And I’m dying to laugh in their faces and tell them they’re so boy-crazy they’re seeing something where there’s nothing!

~*~

Oh my God.

He’s gorgeous.

Absolutely.

“What’s his name?” I tried to sound casual as I asked. My cheeks heated up for no reason, and scared the girls might notice, I ducked my head to dig back into my lunchbox.

“There are guys in my class whose names I don’t even know, but him, from the class on the other side of the school, I even know his roll call number.” Yoko, our detective friend from the next class over, said with pride. “It’s Bakugo Katsuki. Even his name’s pretty, right? It’s got a strong ring to it. And he’s in seventh grade.”

“Tall for his age, huh? What, twelve years old? And already built like that?” Keiko sounded half-shocked, half-awed. “Seriously, no words for this kid! He takes my breath away.”

While they chatted, I snuck another glance at him.

Across the cafeteria, at a table by a big window, he was standing, hip leaned against the edge, hands in the pockets of his slightly baggy pants, and—God, why did the sunlight seem to be there just for him? His blond hair sparkled like diamonds under it. It was too pretty a scene to be real, and I blushed again for no reason—ugh, so annoying!

Wait, hold on.

My heart’s beating way too fast.

This isn’t normal.

I hope it’s a heart attack.

Embarrassed like we were face-to-face, I snapped my gaze away, eyes landing back on my lunchbox. I wasn’t even hungry anymore—and I’d been complaining about being starving just minutes ago.

I glanced at the girls. They were still too caught up in new-boy talk, so I saw my chance to sneak another look at the guy in question.

And my heart jumped again.

No way, am I seriously gonna fall for him just because he’s gorgeous?

But… man, look at him. It’s not just looks—he’s got this mature vibe for his age. These eleven, twelve-year-old boys only care about running around and chucking eggs at each other’s heads, come on! And there he is, off to the side, just watching, occasionally saying something to the two boys with him. He’s got this serious, mysterious air, even at twelve.

I thought I’d see some stuck-up kid, surrounded by friends, laughing like he owned the place, but no. He seems kinda… I don’t know, reserved. I like that. And the girls even said he doesn’t flirt with just anyone—wait, what? Being that good-looking… I don’t get it. Is he the type who thinks he’s too good and no one’s up to his standards?

Well, even that I find interesting. I don’t like boys who throw themselves at anything that moves, like they’re desperate to hook up with someone, anyone.

What’s it like talking to him, I wonder?

“Hey, Yoko, do you know if he’s got a girlfriend?” Hina’s question yanked me back into the conversation.

I tucked the strand falling over my eye behind my ear—it bugs me a little, but my friends say it’s charming, so I’ve gotten used to it—suddenly nervous about the answer. Pretending I wasn’t too invested, I kept eating, watching from the corner of my eye.

“No clue.” Yoko, the redhead, replied. “I’ve got a friend in his class. Well, not exactly a friiiend, but he’s into me, so I took the chance to ask some stuff, you know?” She let out a sly giggle, pulling laughs from the other girls too. “Anyway, Bakugo’s been here less than a week, it’s hard to know much, but this guy told me he was an athlete at his old school—basketball, I think. Maybe he’ll try out for the team here! I always knew I had a thing for players.” She fanned herself like she was overheating, sighing.

“If he joins the team, it’ll be everything! Finally a reason to watch the games.” Hina laughed, the others joining in. “All I know is he kinda blew off every girl who’s tried giving him attention.”

“Probably thinks he’s the last cookie in the jar.” Keiko commented. “And he’s got every right to.”

They all laughed.

“I actually kinda like that. Boys who hit on everyone piss me off.” Yoko said, scrunching her face in disgust at the last part.

“What if he’s gay?” Hina dropped what felt like a bomb, because they all gasped and turned to her, eyes wide with outrage.

I blinked, not getting the big reaction.

“Are you crazy? He doesn’t seem like that at all.” Yoko looked the most scandalized by the suggestion, though Keiko wasn’t thrilled either. “So what if he’s picky? That doesn’t mean he’s a fag, for God’s sake! Grow up.” Yoko had this habit of acting way more mature than us, and it always bugged me, even if I let it slide. Didn’t want to start drama over nothing.

“If he’s really gay, it’d be such a waste.” Keiko sighed. “What do you think, Uraraka?”

I froze, a shiver running through me as three pairs of eyes turned my way.

“Uh… well…” I bit my lip and tucked my hair back again. I’ve got this habit when I’m nervous or shy—messing with my hair too much. “Oh, guys, I don’t know. Why don’t we talk about something else? Like, who cares? He’s just another boy…”

The three of them stared at me in silence, bored.

It lasted a few seconds until Yoko clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes.

“Uraraka, seriously, cut it out!”

“Huh?” My eyes widened. “What?!”

“You’re always on the fence, never have an opinion on anything—it’s so annoying! I saw you checking out Katsuki, why’re you trying to play it cool and act like you’re so above us?”

“What? That’s nonsense!” I snapped, ticked off by Yoko’s words. She always acted like she owned the truth, the group leader, just because she’s a year older from repeating a grade—come on! “Look who’s talking, you’re the one who’s always like that! I just don’t wanna talk about boys all the time, it’s boring.”

I didn’t want to admit, even to myself, that deep down it bugged me that the new kid was their main topic—and probably every other girl’s at school. All of them going on about how gorgeous and interesting and different he is…

Wow.

All that attention on him was getting to me. It pissed me off to think that, right now, dozens of girls were probably feeling the same way I was.

The competition would be insane, and realizing that scared me.

I wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Oh, wow, you’re so different, huh? Must feel so out of place with us, poor thing!” The sarcasm dripped so thick from her voice it practically oozed out the side of her mouth. “Don’t sit there acting like we’re boy-crazy and think life revolves around it!” Yoko was almost yelling now, and my eyes widened. A little embarrassed and worried other kids might hear, I glanced around. “You say stuff like that, but I bet you’re the type who’d do anything to please a guy—”

“Okay, enough! Stop it, stop it!” Hina shouted, waving her hands frantically. “Cut it out, this is such a dumb fight!”

“Anyway, let’s talk about something else.” Keiko waved her hand like she could magically erase the topic. Yoko was still glaring at me, and I tucked a strand behind my ear, looking away. “I heard they’re serving meat in the cafeteria tomorrow.”

“And since when is cafeteria food more interesting than hot boys?” Hina laughed, making Keiko and even Yoko crack up too. Not wanting to be left out, I forced a little laugh, but I was still too flustered from clashing with Yoko.

What did she mean I’d do anything to please a guy? What was that supposed to mean? Like, anything? What’s “anything”?

Either she said it just to mess with me, or she really doesn’t know me at all.

I’d never stoop that low.

Come on, she stalked the guy as much as she could, even used some poor sap who likes her to dig up info! And I’m the one who’d do anything for a boy? Seriously? Doesn’t she see herself?

“Wonder if Katsuki likes meat or if he’s vegetarian?” Yoko joked, and this time they all burst into laughter.

While they laughed and circled back to Bakugo Katsuki, I looked at him again.

And I froze, a shiver running from head to toe, when his attention suddenly landed on me.

I whipped my head away instantly.

Oh my God, oh my God!!

Did he see me? Did he notice me?

Staring at my tray, my face burning in places I didn’t even know could blush, I was too scared to look up and catch him staring again. I suck at handling eye contact—it makes me so nervous!

I tucked my hair behind my ear.

I’ve never felt this before. I mean, I’ve always been shy, but… my heart was pounding so hard against my chest, I seriously worried it might be a health issue.

God, what does this mean?

No way I’m already in love.

I don’t even know him!

When I subtly lifted my head to peek at him from the corner of my eye, he wasn’t looking anymore. Did he really stare at me? Or was it just a casual glance my way?

I guess I’ll never know, but still, it’s hard to hold back a smile at the thought that I might’ve caught his eye. Did I?

Now he was talking to some boys, laughing at something they said.

I couldn’t stop a sigh—it just slipped out.

Wow, what a gorgeous smile.

I dropped my head again, poking at the rest of my lunch with my chopsticks, tucking my hair behind my ear with my free hand, and smiled to myself, imagining…

What if one day people looked at me with big smiles and sparkling eyes, thinking…

Look! That’s Bakugo Katsuki’s girlfriend!

~*~

Four years later, first year

“I heard Bakugo hooked up with Harumi,” Hina dropped casually as we left the library. Exams were coming up, so we’d been using breaks to study together there. As usual, I had to grind to help the girls review math—I’ve always been quick to learn in general, but I’m especially good at math.

My shoulders slumped a bit at the news from Hina’s mouth. I wasn’t shocked, because it’s not new for rumors to pop up every now and then about Katsuki getting with this girl or that one—though it’s rare, he’s super picky, for sure—but, like always, I can’t deny it stings a little every time I hear stuff like this.

“WHAT?!” Yoko screeched in the middle of the hallway, turning every head around us, though her freakout wasn’t juicy enough to hold their attention, so they quickly ignored her. “Harumi? That drop-dead gorgeous third-year?! When?!”

“The very one!” Hina nodded frantically. “The same one who swore she’d never hook up with anyone from school, that all the guys here are childish and whatever… she’s not wrong, though, right?”

“I’m not even that shocked. For God’s sake, it’s Bakugo Katsuki!” Keiko exclaimed. Yoko still looked like she hadn’t recovered. “I wouldn’t blink if he hooked up with Angelina Jolie.”

“Wow, when did they get together?” Yoko asked, totally floored.

“No clue, you know he never hooks up with anyone in public, right? Even we’ve never seen it,” Hina shrugged. “He’s super low-key, only does it on the down-low. What I heard is they were spotted leaving school together one day after his basketball practice…”

“Are they gonna start dating? ‘Cause, like, they’re both hot and popular, right?” Keiko mused thoughtfully. “We’re screwed now. How’s he gonna notice any of us after getting with Harumi?”

I huffed, already fed up with the topic.

“Guys, who cares? It doesn’t mean anything,” I said, sounding confident even though I wasn’t so sure. I always try to hide how bummed I get when I hear about Bakugo’s flings—my heart skips a beat every time, scared he might get serious with someone, even though I try to stay rational and convince myself he won’t.

My friends have no clue how I really feel about him. I always play it off like I don’t care, because I’m not comfortable opening up to people who clearly want the same thing I do.

And also because I don’t want to seem like some shallow nutcase like them.

“He doesn’t get serious with anyone anyway,” I went on. “If her being gorgeous mattered that much, he wouldn’t hook up with her in secret, right?” I clung to that logic. “She’s probably just another fling for him.”

“Hm… fair point,” Hina replied, scratching her chin. “But, I don’t know, he’s gotta fall for someone eventually, right? Or is he really the hit-it-and-quit-it type?”

“No idea,” Keiko said. “Speaking of Bakugo, have you guys noticed him lately?” She raised an eyebrow, grabbing all our attention—including mine—because I’d noticed it too for a while and had been wondering, but I’d kept quiet. “He’s not showing up at the cafeteria anymore. I only see him at the start and end of classes now.”

“Is he sneaking off with Harumi during breaks?” Yoko’s wide-eyed bombshell hit the air—the exact fear I’d been nursing, though not about Harumi since I didn’t know about her until now. Hearing them voice my insecurity like that got under my skin. “Oh, anything but that—”

Anger surged through me, flooding every vein.

And I snapped.

“I already told you he DOESN’T and WON’T have ANYTHING with her, stop being idiots!”

The three of them froze, staring at me with wide, stunned eyes.

And I, just as shocked by my reckless outburst, widened my eyes too, swallowing hard.

Fuck, what the hell did I just say?

What are they gonna think of me now? I’m toast.

“I-I mean…” I let out an awkward laugh, looking away as I tucked my hair behind my ear, more embarrassed than ever. Help, how could I let anger get the better of me like that? Me, of all people, who never lets this stuff get to me… “Sorry, girls, I just—”

And they burst out laughing. Hard. Yoko even doubled over, and Hina wiped tears from her eyes from laughing so much.

I didn’t get their reaction at all, but terrified I’d become the group’s laughingstock, I tried joining in—halfheartedly—my eyes still wide, dreading what was coming.

“Oh, seriously, I can’t—” Keiko couldn’t even finish, she was laughing so hard.

“What’s so funny?” I asked between forced chuckles, my voice quiet and shaky. I glanced around briefly—thankfully, no one was paying attention to us.

“You’re so obvious, dude,” Hina said, her laughter finally dying down.

I frowned, confused.

Then Yoko locked eyes with me, grinning wide with that smug air of hers.

“You’ve been head over heels for Bakugo forever, babe—maybe even more than us. We’ve always known!” She laughed, shaking her head. The other two smirked, chiming in agreement. I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling tiny next to them. Damn it. “We never called you out ‘cause it was fun watching you pretend, but now you totally lost it. Why didn’t you wanna say it? Scared of the competition?”

I pressed my lips together, my hand itching to slap her.

She’d hit my pride dead-on.

“That’s not it, I just don’t like obsessing over the guy like my life revolves around him. I’ve got other priorities and—”

“GUYS, LOOK!” Keiko shouted out of nowhere, and before we could turn to her, startled by the random outburst, she grabbed us by the shoulders and shoved us forward, forcing us to face whatever she was staring at with those bugged-out eyes.

And I didn’t think my own eyes could get even wider than hers.

“It’s Bakugo and… some boy?” Hina’s voice reached me, but it felt like a distant echo. “What the hell?”

In shock, me and the girls stared down the hallway…

Where Bakugo Katsuki was coming our way, strolling so casually it was almost like a strut, his strong arm slung over the narrow shoulders of a short green-haired boy I’d never seen before.

“Guys, what the heck?” Yoko blurted, floored. “What’s this mean? Have you seen this kid before?”

“He’s not on the basketball team, right?” Keiko said, brows furrowed tight in thought. “No, obviously not. He doesn’t fit the vibe—looks like a total nerd. What’s he doing with Bakugo?”

While they tossed around theories, I couldn’t say a word. I was stunned.

Katsuki’s never walked around like this with anyone—not even the girls he’s hooked up with.

And now he’s parading around clinging to some boy?

I swallowed hard, clenching my fists tight.

“See? I told you he might be ga—”

“Shut the fuck up, Hina.” In perfect sync, I shot her a death glare, and she clammed up instantly, eyes wide. “He’s not gay. Don’t say that again.”

You can’t be gay, Katsuki.

I can’t just throw away all the years I’ve spent liking you—the sleepless nights refreshing your socials for updates, even though there never were any, the times I skipped studying for big tests or even trips just to watch your stupid championship games…

I’ve dreamed about you so many nights, Katsuki.

A year has 365 days. I’ve liked you for five years.

1,825 days of putting up with all these girls—and my own friends—drooling over you.

No way it was all for nothing.

No way I planned so much, imagined so much…

Just for you to let me down like this.

You’re not gay.

You can’t be.

“He’s not gay, guys, chill! What about all the rumors of girls he’s been with?” Keiko tried to calm the group down. “Being this popular, we’d definitely know if he was hooking up with guys. Probably just a new friend or something.” She shrugged. “Now, why Katsuki’s buddies with a nerd, that I’ve got no clue…”

“Seriously, did they have to walk around all cuddly like that?” Yoko grimaced, disgusted. “They look like a couple—gross.”

I tried to think rationally. There’s gotta be a reasonable explanation for this. Katsuki’s not affectionate like that—he doesn’t do this stuff. He’s not even seen flirting with girls, and now he’s strutting around hugging this boy?

“Maybe he’s sick of all the thirsty girls throwing themselves at him,” I said, feeling relieved to land on that conclusion. Of course, it makes total sense! It’s so him to pull something drastic like this to shake off those vultures. “He’s walking around with this kid to tell everyone to back off—obvious.”

“Hm, could be,” Hina agreed, and like me and the others, she seemed eager to latch onto any plausible excuse for this. “Everyone knows he’s the discreet type, even being so popular. Maybe all this attention bugs him—I’ll never get that, though. Like, if there’s anything bad about being popular, it’s gotta be tiny compared to all the perks he gets, right? Who wouldn’t want to be wanted by everyone? Complaining about that’s just whining with a full belly.”

“Anyway, the million-dollar question is…” Yoko started, clicking her tongue in irritation as she kept staring at the scene unfolding a few meters away. Every student in that hallway, like us, was frozen in shock. “Who’s this nerd?”

I sighed, turning back to the two of them, who now seemed to move in slow motion toward me, like they were mocking me. My blood boiled, my palms stinging from digging my nails in so hard.

And my heart nearly shattered when Bakugo cracked a smile.

A smile I’d never seen.

And it was just for him.

For the green-haired boy who, shyly, looked away, adjusting his round glasses on his nose.

I swallowed hard and just left my friends behind. I couldn’t stand watching that anymore—it was too hard to swallow.

If Bakugo were with a girl, I’d still be freaking out, but it’d be expected.

But… a boy?

Katsuki’s never been close to anyone. Not his teammates, not any girl.

And out of nowhere, he shows up with this random kid no one’s ever heard of, not caring if everyone assumes they’re a thing.

A short, skinny kid with weird clothes, messy hair, and… okay, I’ll admit, he’s cute, but not enough to deserve being next to someone like Bakugo. Nothing against the kid, but they don’t match! It’s not just looks—I’m not that shallow. It’s just… God, being so different from Katsuki, how do they even have anything in common? They’re from totally different worlds!

But there he is.

Taking my place.

I have no idea who this green-haired kid is.

But I’m gonna find out what makes him so special to Bakugo.

~*~

A few months later

The math teacher tasked me with taking some paperwork to the teachers’ lounge. Since I’m his favorite student, he often asks me for little favors like this. The papers weren’t a big deal or too heavy—I could carry them easily—so I went alone.

The break had just started, and after dropping everything off, I’d meet the girls in the cafeteria.

I’d just come down the stairs when I heard the clear sound of laughter echoing from one of the rooms.

I wouldn’t have paid it any mind, but…

“Cut it out, Kacchan! I told you to stay still, damn it, what’s your problem?” It was a soft, pretty voice. Almost cute, I’d say.

But definitely a boy’s voice.

“hell, I only turned my head like an inch!” A rough voice made my eyes widen. I recognized it instantly, even though it was the first time I’d heard it so clearly. “I’ve been standing here like a scarecrow for an hour, and this is how you thank me, nerd?”

An hour? So they’d been skipping class for an hour to hang out in some far-off room…

Alone?

I swallowed hard, quickly stepping closer to the door with a sign that read “Art Room.”

“Screw you, just let me finish this painting already, okay?”

I heard Bakugo burst into laughter, followed by a yelp from the other boy.

“I SAID STAY STILL, MAN!” he shouted, annoyed. “Oh, great, you just ruined my painting.”

“Wow, so dramatic. Let me see that painting.” Katsuki said between laughs. My heart tightened with every second I spent with my ear near the half-open door. God, they sound like they get along so well… “It’s gorgeous, but… I look like an alien with these huge eyes, huh? An alien who’s had a stroke.”

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T STOP MOVING, YOU JERK! OKAY, I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”

And once again, Bakugo roared with laughter while the other boy yelled stuff I couldn’t make out, and I heard the sound of slaps—slaps Katsuki seemed to take in stride.

My heart was in pieces.

I couldn’t even see the scene, but it hurt me just the same.

Only then did I realize I was crumpling the papers in my hands—shit, I’d have to tell the teacher I tripped or something to explain this.

“Oh, it’s break time already. I’ll grab us some snacks from the cafeteria, cool?”

“You’d better, idiot.”

“Cut it out, nerd, the painting’s awesome—I was just messing with you.”

“I know you hated it, stop pretending.”

“I loved it like crazy, and it’ll look even better hanging in my room, scaring my mom when she comes to nag me.”

“IDIOT!!”

More endless laughter, this time from both of them.

I quickly stepped back from the door when I heard footsteps, hiding near the stairs.

When I saw Katsuki walk out, still chuckling to himself, a lightbulb went off in my head.

I waited a bit, then, with my heart racing, I knocked lightly on the door and pushed it open. There was the green-haired boy, sitting with a brush in hand, facing an easel with a painting of a face—red eyes, blond hair.

“Look, I fixed the eyes, Kacchan.” His melodic voice filled the room, and my heart sped up. I felt like I was trespassing on some secret place, like I was doing something wrong, but… “So, what do you th—”

He cut himself off when he turned, eyes widening as he saw me.

And his curious green eyes on me made my chest tighten. Big, bright green eyes.

I’d never seen him this close before, so…

I wanted to scream with rage.

Because he was so beautiful.

“Hi.” I forced a smile. “I’m Uraraka, nice to meet you. Is this the art club?”

He looked surprised.

“O-oh… yeah, it is. My name’s Dek— I mean, Izuku. Midoriya Izuku. Nice to meet you!” He laughed, oddly nervous. “Sorry, it’s just… I hardly ever see anyone else in here, I’m kinda jittery.” Another laugh. “You caught me off guard. How can I help you?”

Izuku.

And he seemed so…

Kind.

My heart squeezed.

Because in that moment, I understood what made him special to Katsuki.

I smiled, delicately tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I really love art too.” I can’t even draw a stick figure. “Could I maybe joi—”

“O-of course!” My eyes widened as he eagerly cut me off before I could finish. “You’re so welcome!! I’d love to have more artists around.”

My smile grew.

“I think we’re gonna get along great, Izuku!” I stepped closer, offering my hand, and he returned the gesture with a grin, his eyes turning into little crescents.

“Definitely!”

I’m sorry, Izuku.

You’re not a bad person—not even close. I can see the purity in your eyes.

A purity I could never have.

I even regret hating you so much—you don’t deserve to be the target of my frustrations.

And over time, as we got closer over days and days…

I was never fake with you, not once. Every time we talked and laughed, it was real. I’d even say I was more myself with you than with all my friends combined. Because you’re the kind of person who brings out the best in others.

Being your friend, Izuku, I was the best version of myself.

But unfortunately, you’re the one standing between me and the person I love. You’re the good person who’s guiltlessly in my way.

You’re the fragile bridge I needed to reach Katsuki.

I never wanted to hurt you.

Quite the opposite—I wanted it to work out. I wanted you to realize your place.

Your place beneath me.

I didn’t want to lose your friendship.

But more than that, I didn’t want to lose my shot at having Katsuki all to myself.

I just wanted to be what you are to him. I wanted to be the one everyone talks about, like you are. I wanted him to walk me through the halls and lend me his jacket, like he does with you every day.

After six years, I think it’s the least I deserve. That’s why, that day in the bleachers, I told you my secret—that I’ve liked him for six years—because I knew you’d feel for me.

“Well, it’s just… wow, I can’t believe I’m telling this to his best friend…” Part of me feared you’d run and spill everything to him. “But I trust you. We’ve shared so much already, right?” But I knew you were too kind. Too naive. “It’s just… well, uh… I’ve liked him since sixth grade, you know?”

Back then, I only spoke the truth.

But the truth wasn’t enough to make you get it.

You insisted on staying.

I wanted to fill Katsuki’s life so much that you’d just be a friend—nothing more. I never wanted to cut you out of his life, Izuku, just shrink your importance.

But you couldn’t settle for that.

I tried to be nice to you, like you were to me.

But you’re dead-set on taking what’s mine.

And that, I can’t let happen.

So, I’m sorry, Izuku.

Because in the end, I’m just someone in love.

Just like you.

~*~*~

Midoriya

The rain stopped as quickly and suddenly as it had started.

My heart was pounding, eager to leave.

But then I remembered the supplies I’d left in the art room.

After washing my face in the bathroom—I avoided looking at my reflection in the mirror because it was hard to recognize the person staring back—I headed there. I walked with long, quick strides, anything to avoid running into someone, even though everyone was in class.

I looked around, taking in every corner of that room that had been my true sanctuary while I was here. The only place I could be myself. The place where I felt safe to do and say whatever I wanted, knowing no one was there to laugh or whisper about me.

The only place I was truly happy in this school.

The place where I met Kacchan.

And the place where he met Uraraka, and from there, Kacchan and I got lost somewhere along the way.

In the art room, we found each other.

And in the art room, we lost each other.

And, like a parting gift, I saw a single ray of sunlight, slipping through a gap in the heavy clouds, streaming through the long windows and touching a patch of the wall beside me.

I raised my hand, holding it up to that light, and waved back at it.

I let out a laugh, remembering the day I painted Kacchan’s portrait here in this room.

He wouldn’t stay still, and in the end, thanks to that, it turned out awful.

But even so, even while teasing me mercilessly, he insisted on taking the canvas home. And he hung it on his wall, like he said he would.

A tear slipped down my cheek before I could wipe it away.

Kacchan…

Oh, Kacchan.

You’re so much more than just a pretty face.

You never were just a pretty face.

You’re… simply…

“Everything to me.” The words came out loud. “Thank you for always being everything to me.”

And, smiling at the same easel I always painted on, I turned and walked out, shutting the door behind me.

The day could’ve ended there, with no more surprises.

But of course, being my last day, life wouldn’t let me off that easy.

As soon as I closed the door, I bumped into Uraraka again, and just like the day we met, she was holding a stack of papers, probably on her way to the teachers’ lounge.

“O-oh, sorr—” She cut herself off when she looked up and saw me, breaking into a surprised smile. “Oh, Deku! What’re you doing here during class? Skipping in the art room, huh?”

I let out a half-hearted nasal laugh.

“Yeah… something like that.”

“Be careful, okay? Exams start tomorrow—skipping’s gonna mess you up…” Her voice trailed off, and I frowned, confused. “Wha…”

Her words faded as her eyes drifted down my body.

Her smile shrank as she looked and looked, until her face became a blank slate.

That’s when my eyes widened in realization.

I was wearing Kacchan’s jacket.

“Izuku, you…” Her face was expressionless. “Ran into Katsuki today?”

“O-oh, I…” I took a step back, uneasy under her gaze. “Yeah, we talked a bit. He got here late today.”

And slowly, her eyes returned to my face, cutting deep into my soul.

I swallowed hard.

“And he left his jacket with you?”

Her cold question sent shivers down my spine.

I let out a nervous laugh.

“Y-yeah, I was a little cold, but…” Maybe I was reading it wrong, but she was staring at me like I’d jumped Kacchan and ripped the jacket off him. “I said I didn’t want it, tried to give it back, but he…” No need to give it back. It’s yours. I pressed my lips together. “He’s pretty stubborn.”

“Hm.” Her eyes slid down my face again, and for a moment, I almost thought she’d sneer.

But then she smiled when she suddenly looked back up at me.

I widened my eyes, startled by the abrupt shift.

What the hell…

Is this?

“I’m kinda cold too.” She hugged herself with her arms. “Didn’t know it’d get this chilly—I didn’t bring a jacket or anything…” But she was wearing a long-sleeve shirt.

Oh…

So that’s it.

I get it.

Fine.

I didn’t want to keep this jacket anyway.

And since he wouldn’t let me give it back, I’d return it through her.

Her smile stretched wide when I took it off, her eyes sparkling.

“Here, take it.” I held it out to her. “You can use—”

“Oh, thank you so much, Izuku! You didn’t have to…” She snatched it from my hand and threw it on so fast, like she was afraid I’d ask for it back. The cold breeze hit my skin instantly, and I shivered all over, but I didn’t let it show.

I sighed, watching how Uraraka looked tiny in that jacket. It definitely suits her way better than me. She’s his girlfriend—she’s the one who deserves to strut around in it.

I didn’t want it anyway. Because keeping it means holding onto memories that’ll always haunt me.

But…

Deep down, a part of me was so happy when Katsuki gave it to me. It meant a lot.

And that’s why my heart ached seeing it on someone else now.

But it had to be this way.

I was going to give it back to Kacchan anyway…

Uraraka just made it easier.

“You’re not cold anymore, right?” Uraraka asked, tucking that brown strand behind her ear like always. Good thing I’d never have to see her do that again.

“Nope.” I gave a small, toothless smile. Truth is, I was freezing. Even when Kacchan asked and I said no, I was cold then too. And if I was shivering inside the school, I could only imagine how I’d feel outside. “Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

“Great!” She grinned wide. “Thanks again! I’ve gotta run and drop off these papers. And you—don’t skip any more classes, okay? My offer to study together still stands if you want.” She winked at me and took off.

“Sure…” I mumbled, even though she couldn’t hear me anymore. “Good thing I won’t need to study for any exams.”

Goodbye, Uraraka.

And goodbye to this whole damn school.

~*~*~

Bakugo

I couldn’t focus on class at all after that weird-ass conversation with Izuku. My foot wouldn’t stop tapping under the desk because I couldn’t get it out of my head—what the hell was going on in Izuku’s mind?

If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have turned my back and left him there. Seeing him treat me like that felt like claws tearing me up inside. I wanted to understand why, I wanted to help, I wanted him to let me in—it drove me nuts that I couldn’t. But I felt like I shouldn’t push; he seemed dead-set. He didn’t want to talk to me no matter what, so I gave him space, even though I was dying to pin him against the wall and make him spill it.

When the break hit, I grabbed my phone and almost texted him. I wanted to know how he was.

But with a sigh, I shoved it back in my pants pocket, dropping the idea.

I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Don’t want him thinking I’m nagging or whatever…

Whatever made him act like that, it eats at me that he won’t share it with me. I keep wondering what it could be. My head’s exploding with all the possibilities and…

“Hey, Bakugo.” I felt my teammate’s hand on my shoulder, and only then did I realize I was staring into space with a pissed-off look. “Let’s go eat?”

It took me a few seconds to answer. I wasn’t really up for it, but I’d rather go than sit here drowning in doubts and annoying thoughts in this empty classroom.

“Fine.” I got up, him and a few others tagging along.

The whole way to the cafeteria, I got greeted by who-knows-how-many people. I just gave a slight nod or sometimes forced a small, lifeless smile—no teeth.

It’s been a while since I walked these halls with Izuku, or hung out in the art room, or… anywhere.

And I miss it.

A lot.

I miss how we used to be.

When did we start drifting apart?

That’s why I gave him my jacket. So he’d know.

So he’d know I didn’t want us to drift.

And that I’d do anything to keep that from happening.

Because I can’t see my life without—

Wait.

What?

What the fuck is this?

No, no.

No, no, no, no.

It’s too far—I must be seeing things… no way…

No fucking way this is real.

The vein in my forehead popped.

I really wanted to be imagining shit that wasn’t there—I’d take a schizophrenia diagnosis a million times over this being real.

But unfortunately, I’m way too lucid.

Fuck, I wanna gouge my damn eyes out.

With my brows furrowed tight and hot blood burning through my veins, I stormed over to the table where Uraraka was sitting—the big one by the huge window, the one I used to sit at when I ate here. She was laughing loud and chatting it up with her usual friends and some other people I don’t give a shit about and don’t want to.

Someone nudged Uraraka when they saw me coming, and she turned to me right away, her smile growing huge when she spotted me.

“Kat, hii! Good to see you, wanna join u—”

“What the fuck are you doing with that jacket?”

Her eyes widened, and her smile lost its shine fast.

Suddenly, everything stopped.

Everyone at her table, and the whole cafeteria, turned to stare at us. The loud chatter, conversations, and laughter died down almost the second the last word left my mouth. I hadn’t yelled or anything, but apparently, the anger took over so much that my voice came out loud and firm enough to cut through everyone else’s in the room.

Uraraka glanced around, spooked by the sudden, heavy attention on us. The silence was deafening, everyone locked on what was going down.

And I didn’t give a shit.

I didn’t care about a damn thing.

My eyes were blazing, and all I wanted to know was what the hell she was doing with the jacket I gave Izuku.

“K-Kat… what’s this? Have you lost it?” she said quietly, staring at me like I’d gone nuts. She let out an embarrassed laugh, clearly not believing I’d call her out like this in front of everyone. And she definitely didn’t want anyone seeing or hearing it, because she got up quick and came over, grabbing my arm to pull me away. “Come on, let’s talk somewhe—”

“I’m not moving a fucking inch ‘til you answer.” I yanked my arm back, and her eyes bulged even more as she swallowed hard, glancing around again before looking back at me, silently begging me to stop. “Why the hell are you wearing that damn jacket, Uraraka?”

The whispers started.

Huh, did they break up?

They’re not together anymore?

Wow, what a scene.

I’d never show my face here again after a rejection like that.

And Uraraka looked more panicked with every word they said.

“W-what do you mean?” Totally flustered, she laughed, playing dumb. “It’s cold, duh. I’m just wearing—”

“Bullshit.” I said each syllable with a sharpness and certainty I hadn’t planned, my eyes locked on hers, unblinking. I didn’t care what all these people would think or say—I just wanted an answer from her right here, right now, and if—too bad for her—there was an audience, then they’d watch, and fuck it.

Because she didn’t deserve any patience or consideration from me.

“Open your bag. I know you’ve always got a jacket stashed in there.”

“K-Kat…” With an awkward laugh, she kept darting looks at the faces around us, then back at me with desperation. “Please, you’re embarrassing me. This isn’t necessary.” She was practically whispering, trying to keep it as quiet as possible. And I kept staring, brows furrowed, not giving any sign I’d back off. “Let’s talk somewhere else, okay?” She flashed a weak smile, her hands reaching for my arm again like she’d drag me off, but she didn’t really try—she knew if I wasn’t going willingly, she couldn’t budge me even if she tried her hardest.

My turn to laugh.

“Embarrassing you?” She swallowed hard. “Should’ve thought of that before you embarrassed Izuku.”

After our last talk, when she made it crystal clear she’s jealous of Izuku, I knew exactly why she had that jacket. Just thinking she’d made Izuku hand it over made me want to rip it off her right there. She wasn’t cold for shit—what pissed her off was Izuku walking around with something of mine. She wanted to show him “his place,” and that drove me up the fucking wall in a way I don’t think I could ever put into words. I never thought she’d stoop this low.

Definitely not the kind of thing I expected from the girl I met.

She’s got every right to be annoyed that Izuku’s such a big part of my life.

And I’ve got every right to tell her to fuck off for it.

“Kat, pleas—”

Her shiny, pleading eyes pissed me off to no end.

Because it wasn’t real.

She wasn’t feeling bad when I showed up. She was cackling with her friends like she hadn’t done a thing.

“I don’t care. Don’t make this worse for yourself—just give me the damn jacket.” I was losing patience. “Now.”

“You can’t do this to m—”

“Can’t I?”

Silence.

Uraraka stared at me, dead serious, pressing her lips tight.

The shame turned to rage.

She tore the jacket off and threw it on the ground, stomping on it hard.

The crowd gasped, everyone exclaiming in shock.

I stood there, unfazed, watching her pathetic little tantrum.

I clapped, laughing.

“Bravo. Wow, you jump so high, huh? Like a kangaroo.” I said calmly, making the cafeteria erupt in laughter. “Happy now?” She’d apparently tired herself out stomping and stopped, breathing a little heavy as she shot me a death glare. I held out my hand. “Hope you got it out of your system. Hand it over.”

Her eyes filled with tears, her chin trembling like crazy.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” She screamed, her neck red from how loud she went, finally letting out the lunatic she’d kept locked up tight. I wiped a speck of her spit off my face—not even trying to be funny, but I heard some people laugh. All I could think was I’d dodged a bullet. “What the hell has he done for you?! He’s just some fucking nobody—I… I, fuck, I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU, EVERYTHING!!”

And I didn’t hesitate.

“Yeah, there you go. Guess I don’t want someone who’d do everything for me.”

Frozen, she stared at me in silence, tears streaming from her disappointed eyes.

The cafeteria watched, not making a sound.

I bent down, grabbed the jacket, and slung it over my right shoulder as I stood up.

Uraraka kept staring, mouth slightly open, her lifeless eyes not even blinking. She didn’t care about hiding the tears.

Her pain was real, but just like last time, it didn’t move me.

You made me choose, Uraraka.

So this couldn’t have ended any other way.

“Sorry, but I warned you.” I said finally, turning my back. “Told you you wouldn’t like the answer.”

And I walked slowly and calmly to the cafeteria exit, every eye on me, though no one cracked a joke or said a word.

I’m not the type who thinks it’s cool to air shit out in public, but I just… felt this huge rage I couldn’t hold back.

The funny thing? I didn’t feel anything about it. I was breaking up with the girl I’d been thinking about dating just a week ago…

And I didn’t feel a damn thing.

Actually, I think I felt a little… I don’t know, relief?

Makes me wonder…

Did I ever really like her?

Or was it…

Walking through the nearly empty halls—most kids were in the cafeteria or somewhere else—I grabbed the jacket hanging off my shoulder, the black-and-red one with my name on the back.

I thought about Izuku’s face earlier, when I found him wandering the halls like he was lost. How he… just didn’t seem like himself.

And how that broke my heart.

The way he turned to look at me as I was leaving…

I wanted so bad not to go.

But I did. Because I knew he didn’t want me to stay.

Looking at the jacket, I noticed the faint sneaker marks Uraraka left.

I sighed.

I gave it to Izuku as a gift. He knew that, but he still handed it over to her.

Why?

I pressed my lips together, crushing the fabric between my fingers.

Fine, I’ll wash the jacket.

And I’ll make damn sure to drop it off at Izuku’s place myself.

Chapter Text

I wasn’t in the mood to sit through the last classes, so I just went to the nurse’s office, lied about feeling sick, and got let off easy. I sent a message to the team group chat canceling practice, and that was that. Some complained, saying we shouldn’t slack with the championship so close, but others got it—pretty much the whole school saw that scene in the cafeteria—and just went along with it.

When I got home, the first thing I did after kicking off my shoes was throw the jacket in the wash.

Through the glass door of the machine, I stared at that piece of fabric getting tossed around, the water swirling it up, and the hum of the motor somehow oddly soothing.

I sighed and pulled my phone out of my pocket, opening Deku’s chat and rereading our messages from the past few days—just because I really wanted to talk to him, but I felt like I shouldn’t push, so all I had left were the messages already sent and read.

My phone was blowing up. Messages from the class group, the team group, even private ones from people I didn’t know had my number—those I blocked, and the groups I just archived.

All talking about the same damn thing, which you already know.

I glanced at Uraraka’s chat but didn’t open it.

She hadn’t sent anything, which I thought was great. It’d be weird if she still wanted to talk after that shitshow.

I bit my lower lip hard.

I wondered if maybe I’d overreacted.

After all, it’s a jacket. Just a jacket.

I don’t know. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t even know how I jumped to conclusions so fast in a matter of seconds—I was totally impulsive and acted just like everyone else in that school. It’s like I indirectly gave them permission to turn Uraraka into a joke, and that bugs me deep down because I definitely didn’t want her to get bullied or anything like that, and I sure as hell didn’t want to be the one causing it, whether she deserves it or not—and no, she doesn’t. No one does.

And it’s crazy, because even though I know I did something wrong, it doesn’t feel wrong. Deep down, I don’t really feel bad.

It’s like, rationally, I know I was an asshole.

But I don’t care enough to do anything about it.

Because then I remember. I remember our last talk, when she said loud and clear that Izuku’s the only thing stopping her from having me all to herself.

How insane is that? I kept asking myself as I replayed that conversation in my head for hours, trying to read between the lines.

She didn’t need to spell it out more than that—she saw Izuku as a roadblock between us. Period. And that couldn’t have sounded more fucked up. It felt like a delusion to me, almost unhinged. It didn’t make sense, and the way she said it was borderline disturbing. I let it slide at the time because she was obviously hurt that I was asking her to leave—and yeah, I couldn’t really blame her—I didn’t want to make it worse or be the guy who sends a girl home alone late at night, but it pissed me off big time.

So, in a way as subtle as a horse kick, I made my point. I told her if she made me choose, she wouldn’t like the answer.

That alone was an answer, and she knew it. It wasn’t a breakup or rejection, and if it came off that way, that wasn’t my intent. I just meant that if she was really gonna force me to pick between her and my best friend—which is totally unthinkable to me—she should find a guy with no social life who’d live for her alone, simple as that. Because I wouldn’t put up with that shit.

I thought she’d gotten the message, and we could talk it out calmly later, even though, honestly, I wasn’t exactly itching for that next conversation. I wasn’t even worried about it—all I could think about was Izuku.

But the last straw was showing up the next day and seeing her wearing the jacket I gave him.

It all clicked, and I didn’t even think twice. To me, it was like she’d declared war. Like she was saying she was ready to compete—a competition I’d already made clear she’d never win.

Sometimes, depending on the situation, I struggle with feelings and deeper stuff like that. I don’t think I’m great at picking up on what people are thinking or feeling—I’m definitely not good at reading between the lines. Like Uraraka once said, and I agree, I’ve got the emotional intelligence of a goat.

But I only struggle with reading other people’s feelings when it’s about me directly. I don’t care what they say or think about me. If Uraraka’s issue was just with me, I’d let it go.

But it wasn’t with me.

It was with Izuku.

And when someone messes with people I care about, I turn into a damn animal.

And it’s not just anyone I care about. It’s Izuku.

When he kissed me, yeah, I did wonder if he might feel something for me. But it seemed so unreal that when he said it was just impulse and loneliness, I bought it right away. Given the shitty day he’d had and after crashing and burning with Kirishima, his reasons for kissing me made way more sense than the pathetic little theories I’d cooked up in my head—and I felt like a self-absorbed idiot for even thinking Izuku might actually like me.

He says so much about how I’m this and that, how he’s nothing without me, blah, blah, blah…

I get why he feels that way. For some reason, the people at that school decided to put me on a pedestal, and the fallout hit him hardest, which is one reason I hate this popularity with every fiber of my being.

But even if I get why he thinks that, I can’t agree.

Doesn’t he see?

If they love me, it’s because they don’t fear me.

If they hate him, it’s because, somehow, he’s a threat.

I’ve never met anyone kinder than him. I’ve never seen strength like his. I’ve never seen a guy more beautiful than him. I’ve never seen a heart purer than his.

That’s how everyone sees him.

And now I just hope for the day he’ll see it too.

~*~

Before my alarm could even go off, I was jolted awake by a relentless phone call.

Groaning with pure irritation, I sat up in bed, dragging my hands hard across my face. After rubbing my eyes, I glanced at the clock next to my Xbox One—where, in a past that feels like a lifetime ago, Izuku and I used to spend endless afternoons gaming nonstop.

5:27 a.m.

With a heavy sigh, I rolled my eyes so hard I could feel the blood pooling behind them.

I stayed like that for a while, frozen, just listening to my phone ring and hoping whoever the hell decided to call me at 5:30 in the morning would trip down the stairs and get a concussion. I snatched my phone off the nightstand, ready to rip into whoever it was.

When I saw Uraraka’s name glowing on the screen, I almost closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

Covering half my face with one hand, I brought the phone to my ear, stifling a sigh that wanted to escape.

“Hey.” My voice came out thick from being yanked awake, so hoarse it almost cracked. “What’s up?”

“Good morning, Kat. Sorry for calling this early—I know you usually sleep in later, but—”

“Let me guess, you’re tucking that strand behind your ear?” I could picture it perfectly, so perfectly it pissed me off.

I don’t know when even that about her started getting on my nerves.

“What?” she said after a few seconds of silence.

“Nothing.” I put the phone on speaker and tossed it on the bed, then got up, yanking off my boxers and throwing them dead-on over the back of my desk chair a few meters away. “Talk. What do you want?”

I could feel her swallow hard.

“Look, Kat, I want to talk to you.”

“Go ahead.”

“Not like this, over the phone. You need to hear me out, then you can draw your own conclusions. I think it’s the least I deserve after what you did yesterday.”

“What I did? Or what you did?”

“Are you seriously gonna ruin my life at that school over a jacket?!” She snapped. I pressed my lips together to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah, it’s just a jacket. A damn jacket. That’s why I don’t get why you were so hell-bent on taking it from Izuku. You and I both know if it was really about the cold, you could’ve just grabbed the one you always keep in your ba—”

“You got it all wrong, Katsuki!”

I stopped, slung the towel over my shoulder, and turned to stare at the phone screen on the bed.

“You misunderstood everything. I know exams start today, but I won’t be able to focus on them if we don’t clear this up first. I’ll end up answering everything half-assed and screwing myself, so please, I need you to listen to me now.”

I stayed silent, and she probably took that as a good sign because she kept going:

“Meet me at that café behind the school. Hardly any students go there—it’ll be better that way. Please, do this. Meet me there, okay? You’ll do it?” She tried to sound calm, but the anxiety in her voice was obvious. “Well, I’ll take your silence as a yes. I know you wouldn’t leave me hanging if you weren’t gonna show—you’re not that kind of person. Please, just give me a chance to explain everything.” I still didn’t make a sound. “You’re still listening, right? Well… anyway, I’ll be waiting there. I’ll get there around 6:15 or… 6:10. So… yeah, that’s it. See you there—I’ll be waiting.” And she hung up.

I sighed.

Well, she’s not wrong. I’m the one who made our fight public, so that’s on me, even if I was standing up for what’s right.

I don’t see a reason not to go. I think I should at least hear her out, even if it won’t change much.

~*~

She was already there when I arrived, sitting with a coffee cup cradled in her hands, though it didn’t look like she’d taken a single sip.

The bell jingled as I stepped through the door, and her eyes snapped up to me, shining. For a split second, I thought she might stand, but she seemed to hold herself back.

“K-Kat! Good, I… was starting to think you wouldn’t come.” Uraraka said as I approached, dragging the chair across from her back. I dropped my backpack on the floor and slumped into the seat, staring at her with little patience. “You’re twenty minutes late, but… I’m glad you showed.”

“If I didn’t say I’d come, then I’m not late.” I let my back sink into the chair. Uraraka swallowed hard, finally lifting the cup to her lips for her first sip. I started drumming my fingers on the wooden table, waiting. She looked at me like she was a crime victim ready to give her testimony. “I’m all ears.”

She sighed, lowering her gaze for a moment before meeting my eyes again.

“Well… first off, thanks for coming to hear me out.”

I let out a laugh, amused by how she was talking. Why the hell was she thanking me? I wanted to tell her to knock it off and just get to the point.

“Sure, you’re welcome.”

“And you don’t have anything to say to me?”

“I thought you called me here because you wanted to clear things up, not the other way around. I’ve got nothing to clarify—I’ve been damn clear the whole time.” I turned briefly to thank the waiter who asked if I wanted anything, then shifted my gaze back to her. She looked more anxious by the second, her hands clasped between her thighs.

“You humiliated me in front of everyone, just like Kirishima did to Izuku, and you hated that so much…” Her voice was calm but shaky.

What the fuck?

“You screwing with me?” Her eyes widened. “You’re seriously comparing me to that piece of shit? Yeah, I lost my temper, and losing it’s never right. But I did it for the right reason. So don’t compare this to that fucked-up mess.” Silence. I paused for a few seconds, waiting for her to say something, but she didn’t. I sighed, impatient. “Anyway, did you call me here to clear shit up or to prove again that you’re jealous of Izuku? ‘Cause if it’s the second one, I’m outta here.” When I started to stand, she opened her mouth.

“I called you here because you didn’t give me a chance to explain. You jumped to conclusions and—”

“What’s a chance to you?” I furrowed my brow. “I was there, you were there. You could’ve said whatever you wanted, but you didn’t. To you, a chance is booking a time slot for tea? Well, here’s your chance now.” I crossed my arms, waiting for her to start. “But make it quick—I don’t wanna be late for the exam.”

Uraraka stared at me for a few seconds before shaking her head, letting out an incredulous laugh.

“You know, things aren’t as black-and-white as you think.” Her words made me raise an eyebrow, but I let her keep going. “You wanted me to spill everything right then? In front of everyone?” She looked at me with teary eyes, her chin quivering. “Did you want me to scream to you and the whole world that I just got diagnosed with anxiety and depression? That the pressure my dad puts on me to make something of myself is insane, and now I’ll have to live with him because he’s divorcing my mom and getting custody since she says she doesn’t want a sick girl like me? Is that what you wanted me to shout to you and everyone?!” My eyes widened, a chill running through me, though I didn’t quite see how this connected to what went down. She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes with her hands. “My head’s been a wreck lately. You probably noticed that when I showed up at your place—I wasn’t myself.”

She lowered her head, tucking a strand behind her ear.

“I’ve… been having these breakdowns, you know? Like rage fits. It doesn’t excuse it, but it messes with my head and makes me flip out over stupid shit. I won’t lie—I’m jealous of Izuku, but not how you think!” She locked eyes with me, wide and intense. “I just… really admire your friendship. I’m jealous of what you two have, not of him himself. I miss that in my life—I don’t even have that with my friends, and it hits hard, especially with everything I’m going through. I’d just heard a nasty fight between my parents, and it spilled over onto me. I won’t bore you with details—it’s not worth it. I went to your place to escape, and it crushed me when you told me to leave.”

She bit her lip, looking away.

My heart was pounding.

“But it wasn’t your fault, obviously! You couldn’t have known any of this. So, yeah, your ‘rejection’ made everything—already bad—worse inside me. And I lost it. I started thinking about how I wanted people as important in my life as you are to Izuku and he is to you, and it got all tangled up with the mess at home and the chaos in my head… During my meltdown, it blew up into something way bigger and twisted, made me snap and say shit that doesn’t reflect who I really am! I ended up venting my admiration for you guys and my longing for something like that in a totally fucked-up way, which made you—fairly—misread me. I really wish you’d spend more time with me and stuff, but I didn’t know how to say it, and it came off like I wanted to shove Izuku out, which I don’t—never did! I just…”

Her eyes shimmered, tears threatening to fall but holding back.

“I always seem so happy, right? Guess people like that hide the deepest pits.” She gave me a sad smile—that smile that used to be so wide and bright… “Anyway, that’s it. Sorry. Sorry for everything. I know I’ve been a pain in your ass. Sorry for making you deal with someone messed up like me. If my own mom can’t stand me anymore, why would you? You’ve got nothing to do with my problems, but I still dumped them all on you and, by extension, Izuku, who’s got no part in this. I’m really sorry.”

Okay.

Now I feel like a total dick.

“And about the jacket… yeah, you definitely got that wrong. I didn’t even ask Izuku for it—I just said I was cold, and he offered it to me.” My eyes widened, my heart taking a hard jab. The guilt… fuck, it was brutal. As she talked, every part of me went cold, and I kept replaying everything I’d said to her in front of everyone, the shame I’d put her through when I demanded the jacket back. Holy shit… “I even forgot I had one in my bag at the time. We were in the hall, my bag was in the classroom, I was cold, and since he offered, I took it. I told him he didn’t have to, asked if he wasn’t cold, but he insisted I keep it.” She shrugged. “That’s what happened. If you don’t believe me, ask him. He’ll back me up.”

I was still reeling.

I didn’t know what sucked more.

That I’d been completely unfair to Uraraka, or finding out Izuku actually wanted to ditch what I gave him.

She looked at me, hopeful.

I wanted to call Izuku and confirm it all. Something in me still felt off. I felt guilty, sure, but something stopped me from wanting to hug her and beg for forgiveness.

No way I got it that wrong.

But… everything she said added up. It makes sense she’s just in a shitty phase.

Unless everything she just told me was a lie.

And no one’s that manipulative and fucked up to fake all this.

“Go ahead and call—it’s cool.” She smiled, like she could read my mind. “I won’t be offended. I want you to check for yourself.”

I sighed.

Staring at her, I slowly pulled my phone out. She nodded, like she was saying it was fine.

With shaky fingers, I dialed Izuku.

I wanted more than anything for him to call her out. I’d rather he say she snatched the jacket off him than confirm he handed it over willingly.

I’d rather find out Uraraka’s a liar and cut her off than be let down by Izuku.

But as the call rang and I met her calm, confident gaze, the disappointment was already sinking in.

“Hello?” He took a while but picked up, sounding puzzled—probably because I don’t usually call, especially before class.

“Hey, Deku.” My voice already dripped with disappointment. I stared at Uraraka, her steady look giving me chills. Chills, because if she was right, I’d be the worst asshole alive. And it’d mean Izuku and I were really done. “You got the jacket?”

Silence.

“Kacchan, I—”

“Yes or no.” I said, sharp.

More silence.

I heard him sigh.

“No, I don’t have it.” I closed my eyes. I shook, dreading what came next. “I told you I couldn’t take it, but you pushed. I tried to give it back, and you wouldn’t let me. I gave it to Uraraka ‘cause I knew she’d return it to you for me. And if you’re calling about this now, she must’ve already given it back.”

I clenched my lips, my fist tightening on the table.

I squeezed my eyes shut, letting out a heavy sigh.

“So you gave it to her.”

“Yeah.”

I opened my eyes, met with her smile.

“She didn’t ask for it?” I had to be dead sure. I could tell Uraraka’s smile flickered a bit.

“Well… she said she was cold. I took it off and gave it to her.”

Exactly like she said it happened.

So it wasn’t anything like I thought.

I fucked it all up.

I tapped my foot under the table, antsy. And pissed.

“And she said she didn’t need it.”

“Yeah… pretty much.” He sounded confused. “I don’t get it. Why’re you asking this stuff? Something happen?”

I let out a mocking laugh.

You’re pulling away from me for some reason. That’s what’s happening.

But you don’t seem to give a shit.

And as a bonus, I trashed Uraraka in front of everyone over something that didn’t even go down—fuck, it’s all on me.

“Nah, nothing happened.” I said through the laughs, wanting to slam my head on the table. My hands were shaking. “Alright, thanks for clearing it up. Hanging up now.”

“Kacchan… look, I’m sorry, okay? But—”

And I hung up.

I’d heard enough.

I pocketed my phone, and Uraraka’s smile grew.

“See? I told you.”

“Yeah…” I sighed, looking away. Through the café’s glass walls, I watched people passing on the sidewalk, not really seeing them. I pressed my lips together. “You did.”

“Good we cleared it up, then. I’m glad.”

I let out a nasal laugh.

“Glad?” I looked at her. “You should hate my guts right now.”

“I know you didn’t mean it—you were just protecting your friend. I admire you more for that.” She leaned over the table to grab my hand. I sighed, glancing down at how her thin fingers brushed mine. I didn’t get why she was being so nice and understanding—I sure as hell didn’t deserve it. “I screwed up too, showing up at your place uninvited and saying all that crap. My mistake triggered yours. We both fucked up. We’re even.” She laughed.

“The difference is I made you a laughingstock in front of everyone. I humiliated you, really. That’s not something you just forgive.” I stared at her, and she was a damn mystery to me. “No one lets that kind of humiliation slide so easy.”

“I do.” She smiled and, before I could react, leaned forward and stole a quick kiss.

I could only widen my eyes, thrown by how… light and kind she was being about this. Her—of all people—dealing with so much shit at home and in her head, then unjustly humiliated in front of the whole school. Because of me. I can’t even imagine how much my dumbass move made her problems worse. She must’ve caught a ton of shitty jokes because of the story I cooked up, when she didn’t even do anything.

I couldn’t forgive myself, and she just did it like it was nothing? I hadn’t even apologized. I was too stunned by everything she’d said—depression, all that other stuff—and then the call with Izuku… it hadn’t hit me yet. Fuck, I fucked up on so many levels… and she’s acting like this?

“You’re amazing, Kat. One stupid mistake doesn’t erase everything else, okay?”

“It wasn’t stupid.” I said, dead serious. “You were definitely the school’s hot topic yesterday—and not in a good way. Because of me. I… I still don’t get why you’re being so nice and chill with m—”

“Because you’re still the most incredible guy I’ve ever met.” She grinned wide, reaching out to touch my face. “And one mistake like that, big as it was, doesn’t outweigh all the good. I know…” She tilted her head a bit, smiling without teeth. “Things have been weird between us. But I wanna try. You in?”

I pressed my lips together and looked down.

Thing is, I don’t think I feel the same about her anymore.

And I don’t know if I’d ever feel it again, but…

I feel guilty.

“As an apology, take me out this weekend, yeah?”

I furrowed my brow, looking at her.

“If you’re still confused after, it’s cool… I don’t mind waiting for you.”

Waiting?

She can’t be for real.

“Why all this?” I asked, baffled, my voice quiet and weak. None of it made sense. I’m not that special—not enough for her to just brush off all the humiliation I caused. I didn’t apologize, didn’t try to fix it, didn’t even put in effort.

Uraraka smiled and cupped my face with both hands.

“Because I like you. A lot.” She leaned closer, her bright eyes locked on mine. “More than you can imagine,” she whispered.

Her eyes sparkled, and suddenly, I saw Izuku’s face.

And my heart, for some reason, sped up.

I caught she was about to kiss me again and subtly dodged.

Even without looking, I could tell she sat back, a little awkward.

Something still felt wrong inside me—I just didn’t know what. The way she was handling this…

It felt, somehow, too robotic.

And that bugged me.

I’d rather she be pissed at me than this forgiving. I hate when people pat my head like this, like I’m not allowed to fuck up.

I’ve always liked that about Deku. As nice as he is, he never holds back his opinions, even if they clash with mine. Half my size with that cute little face, and he still doesn’t hesitate to stand up to me if he has to. Like with Kirishima—yeah, he pissed me off by not listening, but deep down, I respected his spine. I was his only friend, and he didn’t flinch at risking that.

Her forgiving me without me even asking is impressive. And I feel shitty because I might be misjudging her again, but…

I don’t like people who hide behind kindness to please everyone. There’s a limit to everything, even kindness.

Izuku, even with his struggles, never patted my head just to stay on my good side.

Thinking about it, since Uraraka and I met, she’s never gone against me—except that meltdown. She hasn’t missed a single basketball practice. After meeting her in the art room, I haven’t seen her there again. That was weeks ago. She dropped something she liked for me. Izuku’s skipped my practices plenty of times, even when I asked him to come.

His indifference drives me nuts, but that’s what hooks me.

He’s too kind and naive, the type to let bad shit happen because he doesn’t know how to push back or doesn’t even realize it’s bad. It’s something he’s gotta work on. But he still lives for himself, not others.

And I just realized something.

With every girl I’ve been with, at some point, I’d subconsciously compare them to Izuku. And then I’d end it.

And I’m doing the same with Uraraka now.

“Kat?”

I shook my head, snapping out of it after zoning out while she rambled.

Well, if she just wants me to take her out… after what I did, I don’t see why not. And I’m still mixed up about how I feel about her.

Going out with her, I’ll figure it out for good.

“Fine.” I cleared my throat, standing and grabbing my backpack without looking at her. “See ya.”

~*~*~*~

Midoriya

Kacchan

Call Ended

Frowning, I stared at my phone screen, trying to wrap my head around what just happened.

What the hell kind of conversation was that?

I rolled my eyes and tossed the blanket aside. Grabbing my towel, I headed for the shower.

Sorry if my attitude hurt you, Katsuki. But keeping that jacket would’ve hurt me. And I’m done letting myself get hurt. I’m tired of thinking about everyone else.

Yesterday, when I got home freezing my ass off, the first thing I did was talk to my mom. I told her I wanted out of that school, and I said it with so much certainty that she didn’t even ask if I was sure.

She asked if it was because of Katsuki. I said yes, but not just that. She stared at me in silence, and I knew I couldn’t dodge it anymore. With a lump in my throat, I admitted that the people at school didn’t like me. Her eyes got sad, and she asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no. She didn’t look happy with that, but she didn’t push.

A friend from my work had postpartum depression after her first kid. She went to therapy and told me her psychologist was great. Want to try it? Give it a shot. Go to one session and let me know if you want to keep going.

When my mom suggested that, resting a hand over mine, it felt like the puzzle pieces were finally clicking. I’d never even considered seeing a psychologist—not because I didn’t think I needed it, but because it honestly never crossed my mind. And I felt so good when she lit that spark in me. With a small smile, I said yeah, I’d like to try.

And today, while my mom’s at my current school pulling my enrollment, I’m heading to Yuei. She’d already called the principal there to set up a visit, and on the bus ride over, I was too restless to sit down, dying to get there.

When I first saw Yuei, tucked between trees, my heart inexplicably pounded harder. I remembered the excited students walking up to it, the blue-and-white uniforms, the tall buildings…

And I remembered the purple-haired kid I met on the bus.

I hoped I’d run into him again.

Something told me Yuei held the answers to everything I wanted.

“Young Midoriya, welcome!” Suddenly, a two-meter-tall man dropped in front of me like he’d parachuted out of nowhere—at least, that’s what it felt like. I swear he flew in from somewhere! “It’s a huge pleasure to meet you! Your mom said great things about you.”

Thanks for embarrassing me, Mom.

I hope he hasn’t built me up too much, ‘cause I’d hate to let him down.

“The pleasure’s all mine, sir.” I bowed, and he quickly waved his hands, saying formalities weren’t needed.

“I’ve been excited since Mrs. Midoriya’s call—I always love welcoming new students!” He lifted his chin, straightening his tie like he was the president of some grand nation. His smile was so massive and bright I had to squint a little to not go blind. He was strong—ridiculously strong—but somehow gave off this pure, almost childlike vibe. And he was wearing a flashy yellow suit way too extravagant for a school principal.

I already like him.

“I mean, I know you’re not enrolled here yet, just checking your options, right?” He extended a hand for a shake, which I quickly returned. I’d arrived feeling shy and withdrawn, but he melted that away like magic. His voice was loud and powerful enough to scare off nearby birds, but just as cheerful and lively. “But I hope you pick Yuei.” He shot me a playful wink. “Name’s Toshinori, but everyone calls me All Might. Why? No clue, but I dig it.” Oh my God, yes! Now I get why he feels so good—he’s a dead ringer for All Might, my favorite comic book hero!

He gave me a thumbs-up, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Striking that pose, Toshinori was All Might.

Is this a sign?

My number-one hero’s here to save me.

“So, shall we?” He stepped aside to walk with me, side by side. I’d barely passed the massive gates, and already a good feeling was hammering in my chest.

All Might, trust me, I’ve got no other options in mind.

“Like sports? We’ve got tons of clubs here.” He chatted as I looked around, awestruck. The students were in class, so the halls were empty, but everything was bright, spacious, and beautiful. I thought I’d be intimidated by how huge it was, but for some reason, my heart felt warm. “We even have a manga club—pretty cool, huh? The students just started it! Feel free to start your own club if you want. Just need enough signatures for the student council to approve it, and…”

He kept talking and talking while I scanned everything with my eyes.

Somehow, Yuei felt familiar. I felt good, like I already knew these walls. And All Might was so different from the principal I’d pictured—maybe because I was so used to that image of a petty, arrogant director that I’d normalized it, like anyone in charge had to be that way.

Good thing they’re not.

At least at first glance, All Might shattered every stereotype I’d built up.

And I hope he doesn’t let me down, ‘cause I’m sick of disappointments.

“Your mom said you’re really into art, right?” Suddenly, he grabbed my attention again, his words hitting me like a spell. “Lucky for you, it’s one of our most famous clubs here.” I turned to Toshinori, eyes shining, heart racing. He grinned wide, like he knew that’d hook me right in.

Mom totally told him to mess with me, I bet.

The art club’s one of the most popular? Since when?

I really was living in another world until now.

“For real? Like, really real?”

He laughed at how over-the-top excited I probably sounded.

My heart was pounding, and as dumb as it might seem, I felt like crying.

But this time, it was from happiness.

“Of course, young man!” He laughed loud and suddenly pulled me close, slinging his beefy arm over my shoulders. He was so freakishly tall and huge compared to me, he probably didn’t even realize his own strength. And yeah, he was kinda crushing me without knowing, but I found it so funny and sweet I didn’t push him off. “Our art club’s super active. The student council’s always asking them to help organize and decorate our festivals. Our festivals are famous around here—never heard of ‘em?”

To think, at my old school, I was the only one in the art club. It’s almost funny to call it a “club,” since a club’s supposed to have multiple members, and I was the only regular. Every now and then someone showed up, but usually just to finish a class assignment—rarely because they actually wanted to be there.

“Actually, I live pretty close, but I never stopped to notice…” I said, looking around. Sunlight poured in from everywhere, through every crack it could find, and it was beautiful. It warmed me inside.

“Oh, really?” He stopped walking and turned to me with a smile—actually, when wasn’t he smiling? All Might’s enthusiasm is almost comical. “Well, sometimes we stumble in the dark so long we don’t see what’s around us.”

Okay, now he’s hit me square in the chest.

So Toshinori’s not just a nice guy. I see something good in his eyes.

The spirit of a true leader.

“Yeah…” I gave a small smile, nodding slowly as I looked away. “Guess so.”

He flashed an even bigger grin back.

“Well, I’d love to show you everything myself, but sadly, I’ve got some stuff to handle—my deepest apologies, young Midoriya!” I jumped when he bowed fully—him, of all people, after saying no formalities! I held back a laugh. “I promise I’ll make up for it later!” Suddenly—like everything he did—his hand landed on my shoulder with so much force I thought I’d collapse. He probably just meant to give me a friendly pat, but like I said, he’s got no clue about his strength, which was both hilarious and terrifying. The whole time, All Might wore a huge smile on his strong-featured face—a smile that made me feel at home. “I’ll call the student council president to show you around, okay? He’s a great kid, super polite—you’ll like him!”

~*~

Well, I don’t know if I’ll like him.

But I already really like how he looks.

“H-Hi, my name’s Izuko— I-I mean, Izuku!” Sorry, I’m a disaster at talking to really pretty people. “Midoriya Izuku. N-Nice to meet you! I mean, a pleasure to meet you!” God, someone sew my mouth shut, please! I’d barely introduced myself, and he probably already thought I was a lunatic. “I hope I’m not bothering you—All Might said you were in class and—”

“I may be the student council president, but I never miss a chance to ditch class.” He smiled, and I nearly melted. I definitely don’t know how to handle pretty people. “Todoroki Shouto.” He extended his hand. “It’ll be a pleasure to show you around, Midoriya.”

I blushed.

Really pretty people make me shy for no reason at all.

“Thanks!” I shook his hand. “I like your hair.” I blushed harder at my own impulsive words, regretting them the next second. I worried he’d think I was weird or hitting on him, but I swear I wasn’t—it was a genuine compliment! I’d never seen two-toned hair like that, and I didn’t expect white and red to look so cool together. I wasn’t sure if his hair was actually nice or if his face was just so gorgeous it made everything else look good by association.

Wait, does he have different-colored eyes? Or am I losing it?

This guy’s like a lab glitch that turned out ridiculously perfect.

“Thanks, I like yours too.” He laughed, probably noticing my urge to crawl into a hole, and we started walking side by side.

Chill, Izuku.

You can’t mess this up.

You’ve got to make things different this time.

This time, you’ve got to make people like you.

“So, Izuku, what brings you here?” He kicked off the conversation, all friendly-like. “It’s just, you know, it’s not super common for students to show up mid-year.”

I let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of my neck.

“Uh… well…” How do I explain this? “My school…” I pictured the students around me, laughing, saying awful things. I closed my eyes for a second, swallowing hard. “It just… wasn’t what I wanted for myself.”

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, scared he wouldn’t like my answer.

But he looked at me with a small smile before facing forward again, walking calmly.

“Got it. Hope Yuei is, then.”

I laughed, nodding.

“Yeah… me too.”

“Well, I’ve shown the school to new students a bunch of times, but I never know where to start.” He paused, glancing around like he was figuring it out. I laughed. “How about we check out the art room first? All Might said you’re an artist, right?”

Oh God.

Another person setting people up with the wrong expectations about me.

“W-Well…” I let out a shaky laugh. “I don’t like calling myself an artist to people. I feel like it makes them expect too much from my art, and… I dunno.” I shrugged, too shy to look at him. “I’m scared of letting them down.”

He chuckled.

“Gotcha, I get it.” His chill response grabbed my attention. “I’m a musician, but I don’t tell people that, ‘cause then they’ll think I’m good.” I couldn’t help it—I burst out laughing. “So I just say I’ve got a band. Lowers the expectations, right?”

Todoroki was breaking the ice bit by bit, and it was a relief.

“What do you play?” I was genuinely curious. He’s totally got the vibe of a heartthrob vocalist who overshadows the rest of the band. I could picture him on stage, all sweaty, hair whipping in the wind, crowd screaming, bras flying, nipples hard.

“I sing.” Ha! Called it! “But I also play guitar, acoustic, piano, bass, drums…”

Wow.

All I play is my own dick.

My throat itched to drop that lame joke, but I remembered I’d just met him and couldn’t scare him off right away.

Easy, Midoriya. You’re doing fine—don’t screw it up.

“That’s awesome! I love piano.” I replied, hyped about the topic. Inside, I was nervous. I was scared of coming off weird or accidentally saying something dumb. I didn’t want to make a bad first impression without realizing it. Shouto’s all good-looking, but he’s nice and seems cool. I genuinely wanted us to hit it off—maybe we could be good friends? That idea excited me but freaked me out too, ‘cause I felt so much pressure to make it work. “I’ve always wanted to learn an instrument.” Silence. Okay, Izuku, keep it going. Don’t start a topic and leave it hanging. Come on, think of something, quick! “I took some guitar lessons as a kid, but I kinda dropped it. My guitar’s still collecting dust in my room.”

He laughed.

“I know at least ten people with a decorative guitar in their room too—don’t worry, you’re not alone.” He teased, and I laughed too. Shouto answered me so casually, no overthinking, while I felt like I lost a brain cell for every word I said. I realized then that my old school—and the people there—left scars on me. Now I’m insecure about talking to someone and coming off boring, weird, annoying, or just plain uninteresting. “I’m not the best teacher, but I could try helping you if you want.” He glanced at me, smirking. My eyes widened. “I’ve got band practice after school almost every day. All Might gave us an old room to use. It’s not great—sound leaks through the walls, lighting’s shitty—but it’s what we’ve got. Swing by if you want. It’d be cool.”

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Was that invite for real? Or was he just being polite?

I’m the new kid—maybe he’s just trying to make a good impression.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my gay panic in check.

No time to overthink a million things, Izuku—don’t let your insecurities trip you up!

“Uh… sure, maybe.” He raised an eyebrow, and I panicked internally, clearing my throat. “I-I mean, I could stop by, yeah! I’m not enrolled yet, just visiting today, so… maybe tomorrow, right?” I grinned wide, looking at him. He laughed, probably amused by my clumsy vibe. He found it funny while I just wanted to hide from embarrassment. Man, does he think I’m a total weirdo?

“So you’re enrolling here just to hear my band?” He joked, making me laugh.

“I’d love to hear your band—what’s it called?”

“When we figure out a name, I’ll let you know.”

We laughed together.

“Dunno, everyone wants something different, you know? It’s a mess.” He ran a hand through his hair as we started up the stairs. “I don’t care much—anything not too ridiculous works for me.”

“Like The Apocalypse Riders?”

I regretted the joke the second it slipped out, worried he wouldn’t find it funny.

But he threw his head forward, fist to his mouth, trying to stifle a loud laugh.

My eyes widened, shocked by his reaction.

I grinned like an idiot, proud I’d made him laugh like that.

“Yeah, The Apocalypse Riders sounds good.”

I joined him in laughing.

Yes, Izuku! Keep it up!

After explaining the schedule a bit, showing me the bathrooms, some clubs, and climbing two floors, he casually picked up the conversation again:

“So, what about your art?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking more relaxed than before. There was still a flicker of nerves in me, that fear of screwing up, but I was slowly learning to tune out that annoying little voice. “Do you post it anywhere, like Instagram…?”

“What? Nah.” I let out a nasal laugh. “I don’t think I’m good enough for that.”

“Oh, so you’re one of those.” He nodded like he got it, looking away.

“One of those?” I frowned, laughing as I tried to read his face, but he dodged my gaze like he was teasing me. “What’s that mean?”

He smiled.

“The artist who’s too hard on themselves.” He finally met my eyes. “You’re too tough on yourself. Art’s supposed to be freeing, relaxing. Not a competition.”

My eyes widened.

“Why don’t you post your drawings online, nerd?” He’d snuck up behind me, peering over my shoulder at the watercolor I was painting.

“For what?” I laughed, focused on the pencil moving across the paper on the desk. “You’ve seen how many talented people are out there, Kacchan?”

“And you think you’re not one of them?” He laughed, resting a warm hand on my shoulder. “You’re way too hard on yourself. If you won’t post for you, post for me. I bet you’d kill it, Deku. I could watch you paint all day.”

I didn’t realize I was smiling at the memory.

“Yeah…” I lowered my head, shoving my hands into the pockets of my oversized hoodie, so long it hit mid-thigh. I chuckled, remembering how, after Kacchan said that, I’d blushed, not knowing how to respond, and just dipped my finger in the paint and smeared it on his cheek. He yelled and griped, but then we cracked up. Ah, Kacchan. I saw you twenty-four hours ago, but it feels like forever. “Guess you’re right. Thanks.”

He didn’t reply, and for me, the silence felt cozy. That memory pushed my insecurities aside for a bit, the smile sticking to my face.

But a few seconds later, that warm bubble popped when I felt eyes on me.

I glanced over, and Todoroki was staring at me intently.

My cheeks heated up instantly, and he noticed, looking away and scratching his neck with a nasal laugh, suddenly seeming awkward. I frowned, a little confused.

“Uh… I meant it, okay? Might sound like some cheesy Facebook quote, but it’s real.”

We laughed, and the vibe snapped back to normal fast.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks.” I nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good.”

We turned the corner, and I bit my lip, figuring it was my turn to keep the convo going.

“What about your band? Got an Instagram?”

“Oh, I knew you’d ask that.” He dragged a hand down his face like he dreaded it. I cracked up. “We do, ‘cause they really wanted one. It’s got a temp username—yueiband or something—since we don’t have a name yet. I can’t even look at it without cringing.” I couldn’t stop laughing. Todoroki’s got this calm vibe, but he’s unexpectedly hilarious. He’s easy to talk to, the kind of guy you wanna chat with about anything. “The drummer runs it—he’s obsessed with social media. Seriously, the pics he posts… God, we look like an oriental Backstreet Boys. It’s awful.” I lost it at “Backstreet Boys,” and he just grinned at how hard I was laughing. “It’s embarrassing as hell, but what can you do?” He shrugged, smiling. “If he didn’t handle it, no one would, so we let him go wild. And we’ve got ten thousand followers, can you believe it? Ten thousand people watching us make fools of ourselves…”

“Wow, ten thousand!” My eyes widened, impressed. “That’s huge! You guys must be really good!”

“Oh, come on.” He laughed, waving it off. “Lots of bad stuff gets millions of views—you know that.”

I rolled my eyes, laughing.

“Oh, so you’re one of those.” I threw his own line back at him.

He tried to hide a smile when he saw me turning his trick on him, but he couldn’t hold the laugh.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Midoriya?” He raised an eyebrow, giving me a playful look. I laughed, jutting my chin up.

“The artist who’s too damn modest.” I mimicked him, raising my eyebrow. He laughed. “I know your type. All ‘oh, I’m so embarrassed, I’m not that good’ and blah, blah, blah… then you hit the stage and practically hump the floor.”

I got another big laugh out of him, and it made me internally proud.

My chest felt lighter now. Those insecurities were getting quieter in my head.

But I couldn’t slip up.

I just hoped I wouldn’t get too caught up in this good moment and trip over myself. I couldn’t let my guard down too much—I had to stay grounded and sharp.

“Okay, you got me there.” He looked at me. “Guess we’ve got something in common then—both too modest about what we do.”

“You’ve never seen my stuff.”

“And you haven’t seen mine, but you will tomorrow.” He smiled, no teeth. “You’re coming, right?”

Was that expectation in his eyes?

He asked again. So it’s not just politeness—he really wants me there. You don’t ask twice unless you want a yes, right?

I turned my face to hide the blush.

And in a way, it was like he was also saying, So you’re enrolling here, right?

“Uh… I won’t be in the way, will I?” I scratched my neck. “I mean, your friends…”

“Relax, they’re cool. You’ll like ‘em.”

But will they like me?

“Got it. What do you guys play?”

“You’ll see.” He glanced at me sideways, smirking. God, he’s really good-looking. “And I’ll see your drawings too, right? Fair trade.”

I laughed, nodding.

“Yeah… I guess. But don’t get your hopes up, okay?”

“Too late.” He shrugged. “Now I’m curious if the art’s on the same level as the artist.”

But…

Huh?

What?

What’s that supposed to mean… level?

For the first time, the silence got awkward as we walked the long, empty halls. I stared at the wall beside me so Todoroki wouldn’t see my flushed face.

I think my silence made him shy too, ‘cause I caught him scratching his neck out of the corner of my eye, trying to play it off.

What did he mean by that? Was it a compliment? Or maybe he wasn’t even talking about my looks…

There’s a ton of ways to take it. Maybe he meant he found me funny and hoped my art was, like, funny too…?

I have no clue!

I cleared my throat.

If I wanted to make new friends, I couldn’t let him feel weird. I had to break the silence.

“I wanna see if your Instagram’s really as cringe as you say.” I tossed out, switching gears.

He laughed, nodding. I was relieved—I’d worried he’d clam up after my non-response and not want to talk anymore.

“Okay, how about this?” He turned to me with a sly smile. “Cringe challenge. When I show you, if you so much as smirk, you owe me fifty cents.” I cracked up at the dumb bet. “Every little cringe attack, fifty cents, deal? I’ll be rich by the end.”

I laughed, my eyes squinting into slits from how wide I was grinning.

“Deal!”

He raised his hand, and I slapped mine against it for a high five. It felt so natural that I freaked out after, wondering if I’d forced it too much, but I relaxed when I saw him smiling back. I returned the smile and looked ahead. My heart was pounding— it’d been so long since I’d had a good talk like this with someone… and a new person, at that! In a new school! God, how exciting!

But I can’t get carried away. There’s still a lot ahead—I haven’t even met the other students yet, just Hitoshi from the bus, who might pretend he doesn’t know me if we cross paths again, and Todoroki, the student council president, who’s basically wired to be nice to everyone.

Easy, Midoriya. You’re already building up expectations— if you fall, it’ll hurt more. Chill, breathe. Keep your feet on the ground. You should be used to this by now.

“Okay, these are the bathrooms.” He pointed at the doors side by side. “Where you go for basic needs or to cry.”

I cracked up, giving him a light punch on the shoulder—only realizing I’d overstepped after, but thankfully, he laughed.

“Option two gets heavy use on test days.” He joked again, making me laugh once more. It’d been ages since I’d genuinely laughed while talking to someone, and I was silently grateful to him for it.

Todoroki showed me more floors, more clubs—way more than my old school had, which got me pumped—and said I was lucky to arrive now, with time to adjust to the classes and everything before test week. That eased me up, ‘cause I’d left my old school right as tests started and was scared I’d jump into Yuei already facing exams. Different schools, different material—but apparently, I’d dodged that bullet for now. He even said not to worry and offered to help with whatever I needed, even though we wouldn’t be in the same class. My legs practically wobbled—who wouldn’t swoon when a hot guy offers study help? Okay, I know he was just being nice, but a little daydreaming never killed anyone.

“Well, that’s about it.” He said when we hit the cafeteria—and holy crap, what a huge cafeteria! “There’s more to show and explain, but that’s for later. You’ve got the basics now.”

“Thanks so much.” I reflexively bowed. He laughed and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me up. That’s when I clocked our height difference. He’s as tall as Kacchan.

They’re kinda similar, actually. Not looks-wise, but overall. Both hot, big shots at their schools, popular…

That realization spooked me a bit.

If Todoroki and I get close, will it all happen again?

Will I be a target again?

I swallowed hard, my throat scratching.

“No need for that.” His hand landed on my head, ruffling my green hair gently. My eyes widened a little. “Thank me by coming to my band practice, deal?” He shot me a playful wink, leaving me speechless.

Okay.

Either this guy’s genuinely awesome, or he wants to eat me.

But the second option’s off the table—totally!

He’s tall, gorgeous, got two-colored eyes—TWO COLORS, WHAT KIND OF HUMAN GETS THAT GIFT?—student council president, and a band vocalist! Look at me—I didn’t even brush my hair before leaving. What’s the chance a guy like that’s into me? Only if he’s hunting for someone average to balance out his Greek-god vibes—two hot people together would be overkill, and he probably knows it.

“Y-Yeah…” I let out a nervous laugh and looked away. I had to lighten up somehow, or it’d get weird again. So, without thinking too hard, I blurted, “I’ll do you the charity of showing up to your band practice, alright? Since you’re begging so much…”

He laughed, nodding.

“Thanks for your good deed, Izuku.”

If everyone at this school’s like Shouto, then…

I might not have any more reasons to cry.

~*~*~*~

Katsuki

I grabbed everyone’s attention in that cafeteria when I climbed onto one of the few empty tables without any fuss. I didn’t need to ask for their focus or say a word—every eye in the place landed on me, including Uraraka’s. She sat at a table farther off with her friends, looking confused and a little nervous, staring at me intently while her group whispered among themselves.

I sighed.

Yeah.

If I fucked up in front of everyone, then I’ve got to fix it in front of everyone.

“Hey.” I started, not exactly thrilled to be doing this, but I’d feel like shit if I didn’t. Uraraka’s eyes—shrinking into her chair—locked onto me, anxious and maybe a bit scared of what I’d do next.

A low murmur kicked up, and I could already hear snickers and jabs like Wonder if she’ll pull the kangaroo act again?

None of the comments were aimed at me or blaming me for what I’d done.

They all piled on her. Just her.

That made my chest tighten.

Not because it was Uraraka—it could’ve been anyone. The fact that I’d screwed someone over like that, especially someone who didn’t deserve it, was eating me alive.

I sighed again, and Uraraka dropped her head, clearly uncomfortable with what everyone was saying.

“Well, not that I give a damn what you all think, but I owe this to Uraraka. It’s the least I can do.” Everyone shut up, waiting for me to go on. “It was all a misunderstanding. Uraraka and I talked it out and sorted shit out.” I wanted to keep this short. “I’m here, in front of everyone again, to apologize to her for what I did. I was an asshole. And if anyone brings this up again, they’ll deal with me. That’s it.”

I hopped off the table, not waiting for the applause that hit anyway.

I rolled my eyes.

Can’t stand these people.

I didn’t do this public apology for them. I don’t care what they think of me—I don’t owe them jack shit. I’m pissed at all of them. I did this because I had to, because it was right.

And as I walked out of the cafeteria, I could still hear the clapping.

Give me a break. I swear, if I’d climbed up there, dropped my pants, and took a dump, they’d still cheer.

“Kat!” Suddenly, Uraraka grabbed my wrist. I huffed and turned to her.

It wasn’t her fault, but I was pissed.

My head was somewhere else—so much so that I’d half-assed that speech without much thought. I was detached from Uraraka, from the last exam we still had today, from all those damn people in the cafeteria.

Izuku didn’t show up at school today, and I’m fucking livid. I wanted to see him, talk to him, figure shit out—why he’s avoiding me.

And now he’s just… gone.

The last time we saw each other, when I gave him my jacket, I got the vibe something was up, but he wouldn’t tell me. I don’t know what’s going on with him, if it’s me or something else…

All I know is I’m losing it.

I’ve looked everywhere for him—hit up the art room, nothing. Nada. Even asked the teacher who proctored his first exam, and he said Izuku didn’t show.

Didn’t show? On the first day of exams?

What the hell? That’s not like him. Izuku doesn’t pull this shit.

And to top it off, I’ve texted him, and he hasn’t answered.

I’m holding back from telling him to fuck off, but without knowing why he’s doing this, it’s hard. There’s got to be a reason, right? He wouldn’t leave me in the dark for nothing, but it still pisses me off that he might not trust me enough to let me in.

I need to see him and figure this out. If he’s upset, I’ve got to help somehow.

“Kat, thank you so much, seriously.” I’d almost forgotten Uraraka was still standing there. “That took guts.” She tucked a strand behind her ear, smiling without showing teeth. “It meant a lot to me. Really.” I could hear the admiration in her voice. “Thanks.”

“It was the least I could do.” I replied, not looking at her, still spaced out from all the crap swirling in my head. “Look, sorry, but I’ve gotta go.” I turned on my heel and started walking, forcing her to let go of my wrist.

“What? B-But…” She tried to keep up, her voice way too shocked. “We’ve got an exam soon—”

“I know, but I need to call Izuku.” I glanced back at her for a second, catching her wide eyes. “He’s gone—didn’t even come to school today. I’m worried.”

“I’m sure it’s not a big deal, Kat. Izuku’s kinda weird sometimes, he—”

“Sorry, but I don’t think you know him like I do.” Without waiting for a reply, I turned forward again, pulling my phone out and heading off. I didn’t mean to be a dick, but I wasn’t in the mood. “See ya.”

And thankfully, she didn’t follow.

~*~*~*~

Midoriya

[Kacchan]: u didn’t come to school today? wtf happened?

[Kacchan]: exams start today, where r u??? u crazy??

[Kacchan]: ur gonna have to ask for a makeup test

[Kacchan]: i’ll help u study if that’s the prob, u know that

2 missed calls from Kacchan

[Kacchan]: what the fuck izuku, what’s going on??

[Kacchan]: talk to me

I read Kacchan’s texts through the notifications but didn’t open them.

I was freaking out.

Tomorrow morning, my mom’s officially enrolling me at Yuei.

And I still hadn’t told Kacchan jack shit about it.

The longer this goes on, the less I know how to spill it.

How do I just drop it now, out of nowhere, that I switched schools? He won’t get it! He’s gonna be pissed, no doubt. He’ll hate me. Maybe even feel betrayed. We’re best friends—how would you take it if your best friend bailed on school without even giving you a heads-up?

I was such a dumbass for not telling him when I had the chance last time we saw each other, but…

What was I supposed to do? I was stuck. What if he asked me to stay? What if he started digging, and I felt cornered? I didn’t wanna play the victim again, the damsel in distress. I didn’t wanna drag him into my shit anymore. And if I did, it’d be even harder to cut the tie between us.

I know I need to pull away from him, but I wanted it to happen naturally, no bad blood. Now, thanks to my immature bullshit, he’s gonna hate me. I wanted us to drift so we could reconnect later, without my feelings fucking up our friendship. But now…

Fuck.

It’s too late to backtrack. Telling him over the phone that I’m out of that school for good would just make it worse.

Phone or not, he’s gonna hate me either way.

I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath.

[Kacchan]: i can’t deal with this shit

[Kacchan]: did i do something??

[Kacchan]: talk to me

[Kacchan]: pls

I swallowed hard, my heart practically jumping out of my chest.

He said please.

Holy shit, I’m screwed. I’m so fucking screwed.

What do I do?!

[Izuku]: kacchan, it’s all good

[Izuku]: had some stuff come up today

[Izuku]: kinda busy rn, can’t talk

[Izuku]: sorry, kisses

Goddamn it, I’ve never wanted to punch myself more than right now.

I choked down the scream clawing at my throat and shut my phone off fast, tossing it somewhere in my room. I didn’t wanna see what he’d say next—I’d lose it! I didn’t know what to do and couldn’t deal with this.

I know I’m being a coward, but…

I just don’t know how to tell him now.

To calm my anxiety, I stuffed my face with food while watching a movie with my mom, but I still couldn’t stop thinking about what to do with Kacchan. I couldn’t focus on the movie and kept chewing my bottom lip. Every now and then, my mom asked why I wouldn’t stop tapping my foot, and of course, I brushed it off as just a normal tic.

How was I gonna tell her I’m totally fucked?

I froze when she randomly asked how Katsuki took it when I told him I was leaving school.

Holy fuck.

“I…” I sighed, dropping my head. “I didn’t tell him, Mom.” My voice was barely there.

I felt the couch shift beside me as she turned to me, staring in total shock.

“You didn’t tell him?”

I shook my head slowly, acting like a kid getting chewed out.

I heard her sigh.

“Why didn’t you tell him, Izuku?” Her tone was calm, but I could still catch a hint of her frustration—not that I blame her; she doesn’t even know half of what’s spinning in my head. “Honey, I said you two should take some space for your sake, but I didn’t mean cut him off—”

“I know.” I huffed, propping my elbows on my knees and burying my face in my hands. “I didn’t mean to cut anything off, I just… didn’t know how to say it.” Her hand brushed my shoulder gently, sliding down my back in a soft rub. “And now I see the mess I made.” I turned my face to look at her, worry all over me. “He’s gonna be so pissed at me, right, Mom?”

She gave me that oh, teens always overcomplicate things look and chuckled, scooting closer.

“Yeah, he will.”

My eyes popped wide, totally thrown by her answer.

She cracked up at my clown face.

“Mom!!” I yelped, shocked. “You’re supposed to comfort me!”

“Sorry, sweetie.” She said through her laughs, covering her mouth to hide it. I huffed, rolling my eyes. “Honey, you’re one person, Katsuki’s another—that’s how it works. I get that you had your reasons, but he’s not you; he doesn’t know them. I can’t say you messed up, ‘cause I see your side—I know there’s a ton going on in your head right now.” She ruffled my hair playfully. “But, come on, he’s your best friend, right? Of course he’ll be upset.” I sighed, shoving my face back into my hands, mumbling a bunch of crap even I didn’t get. My mom laughed, pulling me into a tight side hug. “It’s okay, it’s okay… it’ll work out, sweetie…”

“You’re just saying that ‘cause it’s what I wanna hear, Mom.” My voice came out muffled against my hands.

Mom laughed again.

“Maybe. But I really think it’ll be fine.”

“But what do I do now, Mom?” The panic in my voice was loud. I was losing it inside.

I felt her shrug.

“That’s on you now, Izuku. But I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” She ran her fingers through my hair gently. Meanwhile, the movie kept rolling, but neither of us cared. “He’ll be mad, but he’ll get it eventually…”

“Will he?” I lifted my head to look at her, my eyes searching hers for something to hold onto. She laughed, probably finding my teenage drama hilarious.

“I’m sure, love.” She planted a loud kiss on my cheek. “Katsuki’s a good kid—I really like him. And he likes you a lot too.”

I just gave her a weak little smile.

That talk helped me sleep better, but I was still stressed. I didn’t know how to fix this. Honestly, I don’t think there’s a fix anymore. One way or another, he’s gonna be mad at me. Thing is, the longer I let this sit, the worse it’ll get.

So… yeah, I’ve gotta talk to him soon.

Tomorrow, after school, I’ll meet up with Kacchan.

~*~

Sunlight poured through my bedroom curtains with a force that pierced my chest, warming my heart. My room was bathed in soft yellow tones, and it’d been ages since I’d felt this good waking up. I stretched, enjoying the crack of my back, rubbed my eyes lazily, let out a long yawn, and when I turned my head and saw my new uniform neatly folded beside me on the bed, I couldn’t stop the ear-to-ear grin.

On top of the white button-up shirt was a note in pretty handwriting:

Good luck on your first day, my love! Everything’s gonna work out, trust me! I’m already off to work, but I left your breakfast ready, it’s in the microwave. Eat it all, and that’s not a request! Love you. Signed: Your #1 fan <3

P.S.: Put your worries aside for a bit (I know you overthink) and just be yourself!

Oh, Mom.

You don’t know how much I needed this right now.

Sometimes I complain too much, Mom, I know, but I’m grateful. So damn grateful for the life I have, because it’s only possible because of you. Dad ditched us before I could rack up many memories of him, and for years, I thought his absence left a hole in me. I even wondered if not having a guy around was why I started noticing pretty boys more than pretty girls. But nah. That was all bullshit. I didn’t miss out on anything, ‘cause you made sure I didn’t, Mom. You weren’t just my mom—you were my dad too. We’re taught a family’s only a family with a mom and a dad, and anything else is messed up.

But family’s way more than that. It’s not just blood. It’s not a mom and a dad. It’s not calling everyone to eat together at Christmas.

Family’s waking up to a note like this.

Family’s the love I feel for you, and the love you feel for me.

That’s what family is.

Thanks for always sticking by me, Mom.

Thanks for always being my family.

And thanks for letting me be yours too.

I pressed the little note to my chest and closed my eyes, but it wasn’t enough to hold back the tears.

I grabbed my phone and, before tapping her chat, stared at her profile pic for a few seconds. It was an old photo—me and her at a baseball game we didn’t even know the teams for. We’d snagged last-minute tickets to some random match just to hang out. I was about thirteen, wearing a goofy cap, holding a hot dog piled with toppings, while she held the camera with a grin so big her squinted eyes looked like crescent moons.

I laughed, remembering how I yelled at her not to snap the pic with my face covered in sauce, but she did it anyway.

And thank God she did.

[Izuku]: Thanks for everything

[Izuku]: Love you too

[Izuku]: Signed: Your super mega #1 fan!! >.<

I wiped the tears and set my phone aside to finally pick up the uniform I’d dreamed of. I wanted to scream from happiness—my smile was practically splitting my cheeks. It felt like holding the future in my hands.

And I feel like, this time, it’ll be different.

It has to be.

I’m gonna make it be.

Because it’s all up to me.

~*~

“Oh, I almost forgot. Everyone, we’ve got a new student with us today.” The teacher, who’d been in the room for about fifteen minutes but was napping at his desk until now, suddenly lifted his head and announced it loud and clear, startling everyone. The chatter stopped dead. “Guess you’ve already noticed— it’s not every day we get a green-haired kid in here.” The class laughed, and then all eyes were on me. I swallowed hard and instinctively shrank in my chair, but I forced a smile to hide the shyness. “I’m your philosophy teacher, Aizawa Shouta.” He had long black hair, big dark circles under tired eyes, and a slouch so chill it was almost funny. His blank stare made me wonder if he didn’t like me or if he was just like that. “Introduce yourself, please.”

“Uh… I—” I paused to clear my throat, which got a few chuckles. My hands shook—I was terrified I’d already turned into the class clown. I was in the second-to-last row, so it felt like a sea of eyes was on me, and it was kinda freaky. I laughed nervously, dropped my head, and scratched the back of my neck. In a few words, I had to make a killer first impression, which I knew was tough ‘cause I’m not that charming. “Um… h-hi, I’m Midoriya Izuku, I’m seventeen, and… well, I’m not great at intros, as you’ve probably noticed…” Silence. They kept staring, dead serious, like they were waiting for more. Panic hit, and I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head. “Oh, and I like to draw.”

Silence.

A cold bead of sweat slid down my temple, and my eyes ping-ponged desperately across the serious faces around me.

Then, out of nowhere, the room erupted in applause. I nearly fell off my chair from the shock. Even the teacher, who seemed kinda over it all, joined in. The kids near me leaned over, slapping my shoulders with friendly welcome and nice to meet you, all grinning like they meant it.

I couldn’t even react—I was too stunned and floored by how they responded. I wasn’t expecting this. Not even a word, let alone a round of applause.

My heart warmed up, and still dazed by it all, I gave a little bow with my head, hoping it’d show how grateful I was.

“Another artist for our art club, hell yeah! This moment’s mine!” The shout came from a girl across the room, up in the front row, who stood up to face me. My eyes widened in surprise. She had pink hair and a huge smile aimed my way, so pumped she made me feel like I was Van Gogh or something. “I’m Mina, class rep, student council member—anything you need, just holler, I’m here!” She planted her hands on her hips and winked. “I’m one of the art club founders, and I’d love to have you there! You’re joining, right?!” Wow, what a gorgeous, outgoing girl. Bet she’s the Heather to a lot of people—good thing I don’t have to deal with that anymore. “We need more painters for the Moon Festival poster and—”

“Mina, as usual, acting like this is summer camp.” Aizawa cut off her spiel, and she huffed, plopping back into her seat, clearly annoyed she didn’t finish. Everyone laughed—probably used to this by now. “I know you’re all using the new kid as an excuse to dodge class, but sorry, I’ve gotta ruin your fun.” Aizawa finally got up from his chair, and the class, still chuckling, turned forward.

My heart was racing, and the smile wouldn’t leave my face. It didn’t feel real yet.

I felt relieved—accepted, even.

“As if we need to try dodging, right, teach? You don’t even like teaching!”

“Yeah, you just sleep!”

The room exploded in laughter while Aizawa’s face soured. It was funny—he looked all serious, but you could tell he wasn’t really. Maybe that’s why the students felt free to crack jokes like that. He seemed like a teacher they all liked.

“I should be offended, but it’s true.” His comeback got more laughs. “Anyway, enough slacking—let’s talk Plato and the cave allegory, ‘cause that’s what I’m paid for.” He grabbed a big marker for the chalkboard and turned to it, but halfway there, he paused like he’d remembered something. With a tiny smirk tugging at his lips, he glanced at me. “Oh, and welcome to Yuei, Midoriya.”

My grin stretched so wide my eyes turned into slits.

“Thanks so much!”

The class rolled on smoothly, with random jokes—sometimes even from the teacher—sparking waves of laughter, though focus always swung back to the lesson. A few kids chatted during it, but not enough to bug anyone, and Aizawa didn’t seem to care much—he’s probably the I’m paid to teach, not babysit type.

At some point, though, someone behind me jabbed my shoulder—way harder than needed. I flinched and shrank in my chair, my brain instantly spinning disaster scenarios. I pictured a fridge-sized dude who’d flunked senior year five times, “borrowing” cash for a snack or something. Everything was going too well— I had to get screwed somehow, or it wouldn’t be my life.

With that in mind, I turned slowly, bracing for a paper ball to the face or worse.

It was a girl with short black hair, chewing gum, one earbud dangling.

I swallowed hard.

Okay, not a fridge-sized dude, but she was still intimidating as hell.

“What’s up?” she said.

I had no clue what she meant.

“Huh?”

“I said, what’s up?”

I shrank more, glancing around like I was silently begging for help, but everyone was focused on the lesson. No choice but to face her, even if I was kinda freaked out.

“I… don’t get the question…”

She smirked, the loud snap of her gum echoing.

“You’re really cute.”

Uh, what?!

My eyes bugged out, totally lost in this weird convo.

“So you’re the new kid.” She leaned over her desk, arms crossed on it. “Todoroki mentioned he invited a newbie to our practice—gotta be you, right? Or am I off?”

“Oh!” My eyes widened even more, shocked she’d brought up Todoroki. She’s in his band? Awesome! And I’m sitting right in front of her—what a coincidence! “Yeah, that’s me! Midoriya Izuku, nice to meet you.” I stuck out my hand, half-expecting her to leave me hanging—she didn’t seem big on formalities.

“Yeah, I caught it the first time.” She laughed, and to my surprise, shook my hand. I grinned, happy about that. “I’m Jirou.”

In one day at Yuei, I’d already clicked with more people than in years at my old school.

It hit me—if you’re not happy, maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s just the place you’re in, and the people there. Every spot’s got its own vibe—you just gotta find yours.

And I think I finally did.

I just wish Kacchan were here too…

Wait, no. No, no.

Focus, Midoriya. You know it’s pointless to dwell on that when you decided it’s better to pull away!

I’ve gotta ignore this ache until it fades without me even noticing.

“So, you’re in Todoroki’s band?” I jumped back into the convo, shaking my head to ditch the Kacchan thoughts. “What do you play?”

“Guitar and bass. I write too.” I let out a cool, but she kept going. “I like writing about stuff in my life. Kinda like the Taylor Swift of rock.” Her face stayed deadpan despite the joke. I laughed, getting used to her vibe.

“Got it. So you guys are a rock band?” I was stoked to already meet one of Shouto’s bandmates—it’d make showing up to their practice less nerve-wracking. “Todoroki wouldn’t tell me, said I’d find out when I got there…”

“Yeah, that dumbass loves his suspense.” I cracked up at her reply, though I paused for a sec. Is he actually gay, or was she just messing around…? “We’re versatile, but yeah, mostly rock.”

“Nice. I’m into that.”

“Yeah?” She raised an eyebrow, like she didn’t buy it.

I laughed, nodding.

“You look like a Conan Gray stan or something.” She clarified.

And like she’d flipped a switch, Heather started playing in my head, and I had to focus hard not to spiral into a pit of endless gloom. I let out a laugh.

“Yeah…” I cleared my throat, looking away. “I’m into him too.”

“Yeah, he’s dope.” I glanced back, and to my shock, she was smiling—first time. “Know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m into writing sappy love songs and that cheesy crap.” She said it so casually.

Okay, I definitely didn’t see that coming.

“For real?” I asked, eyes wide.

“For real.” Her face went neutral again. “I like popping in my earbuds and wallowing in misery staring at my ceiling.” She opened up crazy easy, which was wild considering her goth vibe. “You saw Mina, right? Class rep. Hot, huh?” Jirou didn’t hold back—she spoke loud and clear, not caring about the other kids around. She talked like it was no big deal, like she was chatting about breakfast, making me think she’s used to spilling her guts to strangers. “She showed me around my first day, and I’ve been after her ever since, like… I dunno, something that won’t quit chasing something else. I’m so into her, but she’s peak straight. Regular straight, I could work with, but peak straight?” She scrunched her face in disgust, resting her cheek on her fist. She rolled her eyes. “That’s too much for me.”

Inside, I was cracking up at how she was laying it all out for me when we’d known each other for, what, five minutes? She’s got this tough, bad-girl look, but she’s kinda soft underneath. Outside, though, I just watched her vent. It’s cool how she handles her feelings so openly, no fear. Probably makes it easier—she doesn’t let stuff pile up inside; she’s always letting it out, whether to people or in her lyrics. As funny as it was, I caught myself kinda admiring that.

Does Mina know? Doesn’t seem like Jirou’s trying to keep it hush-hush.

“Why do you like her, then?” I asked, curious.

It’s funny picturing them together. Mina seems like the super social type—tons of friends, throwing parties, chatting up everyone—while Jirou’s the back-row kid with earbuds and a don’t talk to me face.

Reminds me of me and Kacchan, how we’re so different too.

Do people think it’s funny seeing us together? Is that why they messed with us so much…

“How should I know?” She shrugged, huffing. “That’s why I write. To get the hate out.”

Yeah, Jirou.

I get that better than anyone, sadly.

“Does it work?”

“Nah, but it makes good songs.”

I laughed hard.

“Mr. Midoriya’s barely here and already making himself at home.” Aizawa’s voice made me jump in my seat. Jirou didn’t give a shit and popped her other earbud in. I whipped back around, head down, freaked out. “Knew I screwed up telling you to sit in front of Jirou. That desk was empty for a reason.” He joked, getting laughs from the class. Feeling the chill vibe, I let myself laugh too—until a paper ball sailed past my shoulder and landed on my desk.

I glanced back, confused, but Jirou was staring off, deadpan, head bobbing slightly to her music. It was so loud I could hear it through her earbuds—just a wall of noise, probably heavy metal.

I turned back and grabbed the ball, unfolding it.

if u laugh at me again, i’ll kill u :D

That’s what it said.

I had to slap a hand over my mouth to stifle the laugh, but it didn’t save me from the punch to my back.

~*~

When the break hit, the students, laughing and chatting, casually headed for the classroom door. The teacher was the first out, muttering something about needing coffee to shake off the sleep, but I’d bet he just napped in the staff room.

Jirou flicked my neck—ow—to get my attention. When I turned, she was already up, nodding toward the door like she was inviting me along—or at least, that’s how I took it.

My eyes widened, and I practically leapt out of my seat, heart pounding with excitement. I felt like Luke Skywalker, the chosen one. I wanted to hug her tight but held back—she’d think I was nuts, and she’d be right.

Before we could even start heading out, Mina—like All Might—dropped in front of us out of nowhere. I jumped.

“Izuku! Sorry, can I call you Izuku?” She beamed, all hyped up. I can’t explain it, but she gave off such good vibes—I already liked her and wanted to be her friend, hoping she’d feel the same. Her hair’s even kinda like mine, just pink!

“Y-Yeah, of course!”

“Awesome! Let me introduce myself properly—I’m Mina Ashido, student council VP and class rep—”

“You already said all that.”

I whipped around to Jirou, shocked at her rudeness. She just stood there, hands in her dark pants pockets, staring at Mina with a blank face. Mina shot back a death glare.

“I know, but I’m saying it again.”

“He’s not deaf.”

I felt like the innocent extra caught in an Iron Man vs. Captain America showdown.

I gave Jirou a look like, Wait, didn’t you say you liked her?

“Anyway.” Mina rolled her eyes, ignored Jirou, and turned back to me with a dazzling smile, like she hadn’t just been murder-staring the goth girl behind me. “Wanna use the break to check out the art club, Izuku? We can hit the cafeteria first and grab you a snack if you want!”

“You guys spend breaks in the art room?” My eyes widened, stunned. Mina looked confused by my question.

“Uh, why not?” She laughed. “It’s huge—tons of tables. We eat while we paint, hang out, chat—it’s great! We keep break time chill, just drawing for fun, you know? After school’s when we get serious, working on stuff like festival projects. But it’s not strict or anything—you can do whatever. It’s about having a good time.” She struck a carefree pose, hands on hips, grinning wide. “So, you in?”

Hearing all that felt like someone saying, Hungry? My treat.

Kidding. It was way more special than that.

I grinned, happy.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“Izuku, you’re still coming to our band practice after school, right?” Jirou cut in again. Mina rolled her eyes, not hiding her annoyance with the rocker—odd for someone so nice to everyone. Something told me these two had history. It was kinda funny to watch, even if I didn’t get what was up.

“Oh, yeah, I’m—”

“Let the kid do what he wants!” Mina snapped out of nowhere. My eyes widened.

“Am I chaining him up or something?!” Jirou fired back, just as pissed.

And there I was, stuck between them, frozen with bugged-out eyes, no clue what to do.

“Stop showing off your band like it’s the greatest thing ever—it’s annoying! No one cares!”

“Oh, really? Our ten thousand Instagram followers beg to differ.”

Wow, nice wall, huh? Good paint job…

“Ten thousand deaf charity cases, probably!”

“And how many followers does your little club have?!”

Mina pursed her lips, steam practically puffing out her cheeks and nose.

Jirou raised an eyebrow, smirking smugly.

“Let’s go, Izuku!” I nearly stumbled when Mina grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of the room. By now, it was just the three of us—everyone else had bolted to the cafeteria.

But Jirou followed.

Man, these two are pure entertainment, I swear.

“God, what’s your deal, girl?!” Mina yelled, finally letting me go.

“I wanna hang with my friend—can I?” Jirou replied coolly, hands in pockets, unfazed by Mina’s fiery glare.

I turned to Jirou, eyes sparkling with emotion.

Did she just say that?!

“We’re friends?” I asked, all goofy and thrilled, even if she might’ve just said it offhand.

“You just met him—buzz off!” Mina snapped, rolling her eyes.

“So? He’s cool.” Jirou slung an arm over my shoulders—probably just to mess with Mina. She’s a bit taller than me, so it was easy for her to lean on me. Mina’s my height, though. “So, we hitting this dumb club or what?” She eyed Mina, amused, despite her deadpan face.

Mina looked ready to scream but stomped her foot instead and took the lead—I’d apologize for Jirou later. We just followed her.

With her a few steps ahead, I had a chance to whisper to Jirou:

“Why’d you act like that?” I kept my voice low so Mina wouldn’t hear, though she seemed too busy waving at people we passed to notice us. “I thought you liked her.”

“I do.” She shrugged, simple as that.

Uh, what?!

“Huh? But… huh?” My brain short-circuited trying to make sense of it—too big a puzzle to crack. “You’ve got a weird way of showing it.”

Kinda like Darcy trashing Elizabeth for being poor but swearing he loves her in Pride and Prejudice. Love that movie, by the way.

“You think?” She frowned, confused. “I think I show it plenty.”

Oh God.

“Does she know?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged again. Just then, Mina glanced back, shooting Jirou a machine-gun glare before getting distracted by someone else saying hi. She’s clearly popular—seems Jirou’s the only one she’s got beef with. “She asked me once ‘cause she heard stuff I’d said about her around school.” Not surprising. “I just said yeah. I don’t care about hiding it, you know? I’m cool with talking about it.” Another shrug. Her honesty and chill attitude about it blew me away—and I thought it was kinda beautiful too. “But I don’t think she really bought it. Like, why not? Just ‘cause I laughed when she tripped in front of me once?” She frowned, genuinely puzzled. “Come on, it was funny.”

Lord have mercy.

“And that time I kept chucking paper balls in her hair… I mean, I see that in rom-coms all the time, and it works.”

God. it’s getting worse.

This is more dire than I thought.

Maybe Mina thinks Jirou doesn’t actually have a crush on her—maybe she figures Jirou just said it to mess with her, which makes sense! If I hadn’t talked to Jirou earlier and just saw that scene they pulled, I’d never guess one of them liked the other.

“Look… if you want, I could help you out.” I tried not to sound rude—I didn’t want her thinking I was slamming her approach, even though, yeah, I kinda was.

Not that I’m some love guru—you all know that—but I’m pretty sure trashing your crush isn’t the best way to win them over, right?

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” She blew her bangs up, laughing at her own mess. “Getting love advice from a nerd…”

“Shows how bad it’s gotten.”

~*~

That break was, hands down, one of the best moments of my life.

Yesterday, Todoroki showed me the art room. It was empty then, but I was still blown away by how huge it was. Now, though, seeing it buzzing with life hit totally different.

People coming and going, grabbing brushes and paints, laughing, sketching at tables or painting on easels, loud, excited chatter…

My heart pounded.

I found my place. The words kept swirling in my head, warming my chest.

I finally found my place.

Mina was amazing—she introduced me to everyone—there were like ten people there, I was shocked!—and they welcomed me so warmly. I got emotional but held it together. I couldn’t make a fool of myself by crying out of nowhere in front of everyone—it’d ruin the good impression I hoped I was making.

By the window, sitting in front of her easel, Mina introduced me to one of her best friends—or so she said—Tsuyu Asui, a short girl with long green hair who’s weirdly obsessed with drawing frogs. She says odd stuff—I related, honestly—but that quirky side makes her so cool and fun. I really liked her too.

Ashido showed me where they keep the paints and supplies—there’s even a little sink in the room for washing brushes, which I thought was awesome!—and explained how the club helps with school events. But it’s not just events—they make art for the school all the time. Like what? Well, there’s a hallway full of members’ paintings, and out back in the garden, the plain white wall’s been replaced by a massive mural that lights up the place and catches anyone’s eye. Mina listed off everything they’d done for the school— all cleared with the student council and administration, of course; they can’t just paint whatever, whenever—and it made me wanna slit my throat with a razor for not joining Yuei sooner. But if I offed myself, I couldn’t stay at Yuei, so I scrapped that thought fast.

All this went down amid a “healthy” argument between Mina and Jirou, who tagged along the whole time and ate with us. I was getting used to their aggressive vibe and honestly cracking up—they wouldn’t stop sniping at each other, and it was hilarious. I could see Mina’s eyes blazing with every snarky jab from Jirou, who swore she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

I still didn’t get how Jirou claimed to like Ashido so much when it looked like the total opposite, but that’s what made it so entertaining for me.

Jirou knew how to push Mina’s buttons like no one else.

I secretly started shipping them.

After the break, class was a blast. Jirou and I got closer—we even swapped numbers! I felt like a normal teen making friends, and it was the best! It’s wild how little things—like a random chat or finding a new spot—can totally refresh you.

It felt like my bad days were ages ago.

I felt… just…

Normal. Like any other teen.

I am normal. No one at Yuei looks at me like I’m a target or a problem.

They look at me the way people should look at people.

I finally belong somewhere.

And people finally see me for real.

But I wasn’t sure I wanted to be seen when, after class, I went with Jirou to the band practice.

Every eye in the room turned to me, and I wished I could turn into a ghost and vanish.

“Hey, guys!” Jirou barged in, slinging an arm around me hard. I nearly fell. “This is Izuku, my new buddy. He’s here to watch us practice.”

“Far as I know, I invited him.” Todoroki, sitting on a speaker, got up and walked over. When he got close enough, he flashed me a smile. “Glad you came.”

“Oh, no big deal.” I waved a hand. “I really wanted to hear you guys—”

“No, I mean the school.” He cut in, surprising me. “Glad you decided to enroll here. I kept thinking you might’ve picked somewhere else…”

“Oh, yeah.” I blushed, no clue why. “I’m glad I came here too.”

“The kissing guy?”

A deep voice came from behind me.

Jirou let go, and I turned, confused, my eyes widening when I saw…

“Hitoshi?” I said, shocked to see him there.

He’d just walked in, holding a soda can in his right hand.

“Hey.” He smirked. “You’re here?”

“Wait, you two kissed?” Todoroki frowned, thrown by the comment.

I choked on my own spit, and Hitoshi hid a laugh with a sip of his drink.

“N-No!” I rushed to explain, feeling jittery. “We just met before, on the bus—he saw me muttering about—”

“His boyfriend.” Shinsou finished, casual as he took another swig.

Todoroki’s eyes widened.

“You’ve got a boyfriend, Izuku?” He asked, sounding oddly shocked. I couldn’t tell if it was the “boyfriend” part or just the idea of me dating someone.

“NO!” I yelled, drawing everyone’s attention. “It’s not like that! I don’t have a boyfriend, Kacchan’s my fri—”

“You kiss your friends?” Hitoshi raised an eyebrow, grinning like he was messing with me. I huffed, done trying to explain.

What a mess, jeez!

Why’d Shinsou bring that up? Ugh!

“Anyway, it was a misunderstanding, and… doesn’t matter now, but…” I shoved my hands in my oversized hoodie pockets. “So, you’re in the band too?” I asked, desperate to change the subject.

“Yeah, I’m the keyboardist.” He offered me his soda, but I shook my head while Jirou grumbled about him not offering her any—ignored, as usual. “So, you’re studying here now?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “Good to see you.”

Crazy, right? I met Hitoshi on the bus, and that’s how I found out about Yuei. On my visit, I met Todoroki, who invited me to their practice. In class, I sat in front of Jirou, who’s also in the band, and now I find out Hitoshi is too.

Times like this, I’m glad the world’s so small.

“You enrolled here because of me or…?” Shinsou teased, sending a jolt of nerves through me.

“W-What?” My eyes bugged out, floored by his chill insinuation. “No way, I’m not a stalker!”

Everyone laughed, including Hitoshi, and I, already lost, got even more confused.

“That’s not what I meant.” He said through chuckles. “I’m not hot enough for that.” His deadpan line got more laughs. “I meant if you found the school because of me…”

Oh.

Right.

That makes more sense.

I looked away, blushing down to my roots.

And just when life cuts me a break, I go and stick my foot in the mud.

“Yeah, exactly!” I grinned to hide my embarrassment over misreading him. “I wasn’t too…” I searched for a word that fit but wouldn’t spill too much. “Wasn’t too happy at my old school.”

“Hm, got it.” Shinsou nodded, brushing his purple hair back with his hand. Gotta admit, he’s smooth at that. “Well, either way, welcome.”

“Thanks.” I smiled back.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t stoked to see him again, and now knowing he’s friends with my newest friends—if I can call them that—it’s almost too good to be true!

I just hope we all end up real friends. That’s all I want.

“Hey, move it, I haven’t introduced myself yet!” Suddenly, a blond guy I hadn’t noticed popped up. He must’ve been crouched, messing with some cables on the floor—that’s why I missed him.

“No one’s in your way, dumbass.” Jirou muttered, bored.

“I’m Denki Kaminari.” He flashed a cocky grin, striking a pose with both hands on his hips like some superhero stealing the spotlight. Silence hit, then Jirou covered her mouth to laugh. “I’m the drummer, the most popular one here!” Poor guy, Jirou mumbled, making Todoroki crack up too. “You’re just here to watch, right? How about fanning me while I play, huh? I sweat a lot.”

“Dude, shut up.” Shoto gave him a light shoulder smack, and Kaminari pouted, sulking. “He’s not here to be your servant.”

“So he at least paid to get in?” Kaminari asked like it was no big deal, looking at his bandmates for a yes.

They all stared at him, unimpressed, and after a few seconds of dead silence—which didn’t faze the blond—they didn’t bother answering.

“So you’re the drummer, huh?” I stepped up, forcing a smile to break the ice. “Todoroki mentioned you handle the group’s social media.”

“Yeah! And I’m damn good at it.” He puffed out his chest, smug. “Not for nothing we’ve got ten thousand followers. If it were up to these apes, we wouldn’t even have an Instagram. Speaking of, you follow us yet?”

My eyes widened.

“Uh… no, but—”

“Grab your phone and follow.” He said. “It’s tommorowstars.”

“Huh?” Shouto stepped forward, frowning at the blond. “Tomorrow Stars? Since when?!”

“You’re not telling me you named the band without telling us!” Jirou snapped, pissed too. “You got shit for brains, man?”

“Especially a shitty name like that.” Hitoshi added beside me, sipping his soda.

I just stood there like a lost baby bird, watching them argue, not daring to chirp.

Kaminari clutched his chest, offended.

“Sorry for caring about our band, okay?!” He barked, making the others roll their eyes. “We needed a name—what kind of ten-thousand-follower band doesn’t have one? It’s been three months, and we’re still oh, look, Todoroki’s band—that’s embarrassing! Like Todoroki’s hotter than me or something!”

“Okay, but Tomorrow Stars?” Jirou squinted, wisely skipping that last bit. “Holy shit, we’re gonna get clowned!”

“Fine, fine! Got a better idea?” Kaminari threw his hands on his hips, unfazed by their outrage. He’s got a strong personality—sometimes it comes out weird, but it’s still kinda impressive. “Three months, and you all were fine scratching your asses, but now that I step up, suddenly you care about the name.”

“You’ve definitely got crap in your skull.” Jirou’s forehead vein popped. “A name’s a big deal—it’s the brand, damn it, you don’t just pick it overnight, that’s why we—”

“What about Apocalypse Riders?”

Todoroki’s sudden suggestion snapped everyone’s attention to him.

Eyes wide, I stared.

He shot me a sideways smile.

My heart skipped.

“Apocalypse Riders?” Kaminari made a face. “That’s lame. And you trashed Tomorrow Stars—makes no sense.”

“Apocalypse Riders is lame, but so lame it’s good.” Shouto went on. Was he serious? No way. “Tomorrow Stars is just lame.”

“For fuck’s sake, what’s wrong with your he—”

“I liked it.” Hitoshi cut in, stopping Kaminari’s rant mid-sentence. The drummer gaped at him. “Apocalypse Riders sounds like a meme—people will dig it.” He said it casually, same chill vibe as always.

My eyes widened more.

No way they’re buying this. I threw that name at Todoroki as a joke—he knows that! He laughed when I said it!

But he suggested it for real…?

“Hm…” Jirou, thinking? “Yeah, okay.” She shrugged. “Not that bad. Beats that tacky Tomorrow Stars bullshit.”

Seriously? I thought Jirou’d laugh and call it a joke.

“It was this guy’s idea.” Shouto came over, throwing an arm around my shoulders. “Thank him.”

Kaminari gave me a bored look and rolled his eyes. Jirou’s eyes widened, shocked it was me. Hitoshi just smirked, no teeth.

“Fine, majority wins, I guess.” Kaminari huffed. “Okay. Apocalypse Riders is kinda cool…”

“We’ve got a consensus then. Great.” Todoroki said.

“I wouldn’t call it that—you basically held an invisible gun to my head—but sure.” Kaminari rolled his eyes, not up for more fighting. “Bad news, though—Instagram won’t let me change the name for two months.”

“WHAT?!” Everyone yelled at once.

I just burst out laughing.

And inside, my heart was glowing.

Todoroki, you’re nuts, but…

Thanks.

“Sit over there, Izuku.” Hitoshi nodded at a random table—no chairs, since, like Todoroki said, they used a forgotten room. “If you don’t think we’re good enough to toss your boxers at us, I’ll be offended.”

~*~

Okay, I figured they’d be good.

But I didn’t know they’d be this good.

They really threw themselves into their sound, playing for me like I was a massive crowd. Not that I think they’re putting on some special rehearsal just for me—they probably always practice like this.

But honestly, I felt pretty damn cool watching a rock band rehearse. I mean, come on, it’s straight out of an American movie! And I was the only one there. I know I shouldn’t, but it gave me this warm fuzzy feeling. Like, they’re hot, they play great, they’ve got a big following, and it’s been mentioned they perform at school festivals… they’re definitely popular around here. And they invited me to watch. Me. Just me. Little ol’ me.

I’m over the moon.

And between us… it’s normal for them to glance at me sometimes since I’m the only one here, right? But… well…

Todoroki and Hitoshi, specifically, were looking at me a lot.

It got to a point where I started feeling shy, but there was no way to hide. I was the only one there—no one else to steal their attention. So awkward! I fidgeted with my hoodie sleeves, bit my lips, looked around to play it off… but when I’d glance back, there they were, staring right at me, no shame. Oh my God! Why? Did they not notice I was getting embarrassed?

Does this mean what I think it might mean…?

No way. I mean, come on, look at me! Then look at them! No, seriously, no chance…

But what if…?

Okay, let’s entertain the what if, even though it’s super unlikely—bordering on impossible—‘cause daydreaming a little never hurt anyone.

If they were into me—which, again, I think is crazy unlikely—I don’t see why not… well, uh… why I couldn’t hook up with them. I’m single, after all. My focus is making friends—friends are for life, and that’s what I need—but a few kisses here and there wouldn’t hurt. Obviously, it wouldn’t just make me stop liking Kacchan; that’s not how it works. I wouldn’t be with them to get over him either—I’d do it just ‘cause I can, ‘cause nothing’s stopping me, and, like any other teen, I wanna have people to mess around with too. Especially if they’re as interesting as Hitoshi and Todoroki—and let’s be real, calling them just “interesting” is an understatement.

But, of course, they’d never see me like that. They were probably just staring so much to check if I was enjoying it.

Todoroki’s voice is gorgeous. It’s calm and smooth, but powerful when it needs to be. Deep when it has to be. And when he flips his hair to the side… wow. Some songs, he grabbed the guitar and played alongside Jirou on bass, and I totally got the whole throwing-underwear-on-stage thing. Seriously, there’s this sensual vibe to it all—not just Shouto, all of them. The way he loses himself in the music is unreal, and I’ll admit, sometimes my eyes drifted to the sweat dripping down his neck, disappearing into his white shirt collar.

And Hitoshi… he’s got this mysterious edge. Beautiful hands—long, slender fingers that stand out when he’s on the piano. And man, he plays so damn well, I wanted to melt with every note. He might not have a face as pretty as Todoroki’s, but he’s got this… I don’t know, that thing you can’t explain? That’s Hitoshi—he’s got that unnameable pull that hooks you hard. I bet he breaks just as many hearts as Todoroki does.

“That’s it, folks. Thanks.” Shouto snapped me out of my daze, setting his guitar on its stand before turning to me. They didn’t say it outright, but something tells me he’s the group’s leader. “So, what’d you think?”

I flashed a nervous grin, hopping off the table.

“I-I thought it was amazing!” I clapped my hands together. Todoroki smiled, his chest rising and falling slightly, lungs begging for air. “Seriously, you guys are crazy talented—it’s no wonder you’ve got so many followers. And you’ll get way more, ‘cause, damn, you’re awesome.”

“Aw.” Jirou fake-gushed. “Glazer.”

Todoroki shot her a look.

“Thanks, man, I’ll slip you the twenty bucks we agreed on later,” Hitoshi joked, pretending I’d been paid to hype them up. Everyone laughed.

“Did you snap pics of us?” Kaminari sidled up to me, eyes sparkling. “For me to post on our Insta.”

“Oh!” My eyes widened. Was I supposed to take pictures? “Oh man, sorry! I didn’t know you wanted me to…”

Denki pouted, sulking.

“Don’t sweat it, he’s just clueless like that.” Todoroki said. “You didn’t need to worry about photos—that’s not why we invited you.”

I grinned, nodding, grateful.

“Well, thanks, guys. I really loved being here, seriously. It meant a lot to me.” More than you’ll ever know.

“Shitty thing is this room’s falling apart, huh?” Jirou said, kicking the wall for emphasis. Paint chips flaked off the ceiling, exposing more mold. Gross. “And it’s not just the dead dog smell—that’s the least of it. The real problem’s the sound leaking out. This room’s near the lab classes, which don’t happen as often as regular ones, thank God, but teachers are always popping in, asking us to keep it down. It’s a drag.” She huffed, her bangs flipping up—I dig that little charm. “They’re usually polite about it, but ‘keep it down’ is just a nice way of saying ‘shut that shit off now.’”

Yeah, that’s rough. They probably can’t practice as much as they’d like, which must suck when they’ve got gigs to prep for.

“For real, it’s a pain.” Denki shrugged. “But it is what it is. I tried asking my parents if we could play in our garage, but my dad’s decided he’s a carpenter now and turned it into his workshop, so that’s that.”

Wait.

I’ve got an idea!

We’ve got a garage at home, and it’s not being used. Mom had to sell the car when she got laid off, and even now that she’s working again, she didn’t wanna splurge on a new one, so it’s just sitting there. Sure, we use it to store some stuff—like a mini warehouse—but that’s an easy fix.

Would they think I’m too pushy offering my garage when we just met? Nah, I don’t see a problem with it. Honestly, it’s got me pumped. It’d be a way to get even closer to them. I can picture us all afterward, sprawled out in my living room or up in my room, watching movies, eating popcorn, laughing, and chatting like normal friends do…

God, that’d be a dream!

“Hey, guys, I just thought of something…” I blurted out, grabbing their attention. They’d moved on to debating Jirou’s guitar solo being slightly off in one song. “Like… uh…” Man, now that they were all staring, I got shy about suggesting it. What if they thought I was weird? I bit my lip and looked away, twisting my fingers in my hoodie pocket. “Well… you know…” I let out a nervous laugh. “Look, it’s cool if you don’t want to, okay? But I was thinking…”

“Spit it out, Izuku.” Jirou said, bored. Shouto gave her a light elbow to the ribs, and she grumbled but didn’t push back.

“So… I was thinking…” I flashed an awkward smile, shifting my weight between my feet. They all watched me, expectant—except Jirou, who looked like she’d rather nap than wait for me to finish. Can’t blame her. “Would you guys… I dunno, wanna use my garage maybe?”

~*~

“So, this is the garage,” I said. We’d finally reached the long-awaited room after I’d shown them the living room and asked if they wanted something to drink or eat—Jirou had some water, and Shouto went for orange juice. I turned on the light by pulling the cord from the ceiling. “It’s not a big deal, but… I hope it works. I know it’s kind of messy and all, but—”

“Are you kidding? It’s perfect,” Todoroki said, sounding amazed. “Seriously, I don’t even know how to thank you. You’re incredible. If there’s anything I can do for you…”

Wow, I could feel my cheeks heating up from the way he was looking at me.

I looked away.

“I-it’s nothing… My mom’s working at this hour, so you guys can use it without worrying. And I don’t mind if you make noise, so feel free.”

“You’re a godsend, Izuku!” Kaminari spun around the place, grinning from ear to ear. “A real angel, thank you so much!”

I laughed, and for the first time, I understood Uraraka’s urge to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, because for some reason, my fingers itched to do the same.

“And you said it was really messy, but come on, there’s hardly anything here. We won’t even need to spend much time cleaning up,” the blond continued, taking a careful look around. “Tomorrow we can already bring the equipment over. Hitoshi’s dad has a van—we can use it to transport everything.”

“Thanks so much, Izuku,” Jirou said this time, and I didn’t know where to hide my face anymore. “If you ever need anything—a notebook to copy notes, a pen, whatever—just let me know.” Her comment made everyone burst out laughing. She looked around, serious, not understanding why. “I wasn’t joking.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s nothing…” I was already at a loss for words—I don’t know how to handle thanks or compliments.

“How about a snack?” Hitoshi came up to me. “I’ll treat you to whatever you want, just pick.”

My eyes widened.

Wait, what?!

“C-calm down, guys, it’s not that big of a deal—”

“Hitoshi’s right. The least we can do is take you out to eat somewhere,” Todoroki agreed, stepping up beside his friend. And there they were, both of them standing in front of me, staring down at me and making me feel like an ant that could be squashed at any moment.

I swallowed hard, unsure which one to look at. I gave up trying to decide and turned my head, taking a step back. I was starting to feel claustrophobic with these two walls closing in on me.

“W-well, if you guys insist so much… an iFood order would be fine,” I said, knowing they’d keep pushing and that if giving me something as a thank-you made them feel good, then it was no problem. “But seriously, you don’t need to worry! I’m happy to help.”

The two of them, still staring at me, let out a soft laugh through their noses. Todoroki gently ruffled my hair while Hitoshi rested his hand on my shoulder, patting it affectionately.

“Cute,” Shouto said, and then they both turned and walked away, leaving me standing there for a few seconds, stunned, trying to process what had just happened.

I blushed in places I didn’t even know I could blush.

My heart raced with nervousness. Adrenaline surged through my body.

Hadn’t I seen this scene in some BL throuple manga or…?

Was I the only one feeling this weird vibe, or am I so starved for attention that I’m imagining things?

God, I need air.

“So…!” I suddenly exclaimed, nervous and desperate to escape and get my head on straight. “I’m gonna grab something to eat, take a shower, and stuff. You guys can start setting up and tossing things in that cabinet over there.” I pointed to the old wooden cabinet in the corner. “There’s nothing here that can break, so feel free to throw everything in without worrying. I’ll come back later to check if you guys want something to eat. I showed you where the bathroom is, so don’t feel shy—you can use it no problem. That’s it. Make yourselves at home!” And with that, I left, slamming the door—it’s a door connecting the garage to my house—with more force than I meant to. I let out a breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding. Wow, that moment with Todoroki and Hitoshi really rattled me, and I don’t even know why.

I bolted straight to the bathroom in my room. I needed a shower.

After relaxing under the hot water, I threw on some black sweatpants and a loose white shirt with a random print on the front. I combed my hair and then messed it up again. I went downstairs, grabbed something to eat in the kitchen, then made some sandwiches and juice and brought them to the others. Shouto thanked me but was pretty serious when he said I didn’t need to do any of that, that it wasn’t my responsibility, and that they should handle things themselves—according to him—and that I’d already done more than enough.

Well, even so, it’s their first time here, and I want to make a good impression. Plus, since they’re guests, it’s normal for them to feel shy about rummaging through the kitchen.

After we ate and chatted a bit, I joined them in organizing the garage.

All in all, two hours had passed since we got to my house, and just as we were about to finish tidying up, the doorbell rang.

I frowned—my mom doesn’t get back from work this early. But sometimes her boss lets her off early, though she usually texts me when that happens. Maybe she sent a message and I didn’t see it—after all, the last time I checked my phone was after my shower.

The doorbell rang again, and then my phone buzzed.

Two new messages from Kacchan.

My eyes widened, and my hands went cold.

My heart pounded like never before.

[Kacchan]: open the door

[Kacchan]: I’m outside

Chapter Text

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Shiiiit.

Now what?

I can’t pretend I’m not home—the lights are on. And I’m pretty sure he heard the racket we’re making in the garage.

He knows I’m here.

There’s no escaping this, and if I try, it’ll just get more pathetic than it already is.

I’m done for.

“Midoriya?” Todoroki’s voice pulled me back as he stretched his back from hauling a heavy box, walking over with his hands on his hips and a furrowed brow. “You okay?” My face must’ve looked awful because his worry was obvious.

My hands were trembling, and I couldn’t focus my eyes on anything.

I was losing color, and a weird tingling crept up my feet. I prayed I’d pass out just to dodge this crap situation.

Would it be too weird to ask Todoroki to knock me out with a punch?

“What’s up, kid?” Jirou’s voice cut in with a nasal laugh. She plopped onto a big cardboard box, knees spread wide, elbows sprawled over them. “You look like you lost your ass somewhere and can’t remember where.”

I was still blank, staring into space, phone in hand like Samara had just called and whispered seven days.

Honestly, I’d take Samara over this a thousand times.

“Hey, yo, Izuku!” She waved her hands, trying to snap me out of it. I swallowed hard, meeting her raised eyebrow. “What’d you see on that phone? Someone die?”

Kaminari smacked her shoulder, and she yelped, smacking him back.

“Ow! That hurt!” she griped, huffing.

“What if someone did die? So insensitive!” he shot back, making her roll her eyes. Her silence meant Denki won that round. “Izuku, you good?” I jumped when he turned to me out of nowhere.

“Y-Yeah.” I shook my head, pressing my lips tight and shoving my phone in my pocket. “I’m fine, yeah.” I glanced around, catching everyone’s weird looks. Hitoshi crossed his arms and frowned, his sharp gaze telling me he already knew something was off—just figuring out what. “Guys, I… I need to talk to a friend. He’s… waiting outside.” I cleared my throat, looking away. I forced a smile to ease the tension, ‘cause something told me my face was screaming my inner freakout. “I’ll be right back.” I didn’t wait for replies and bolted for the door—I didn’t want questions. “Stay here, it won’t take long.” I didn’t want them thinking they needed to come introduce themselves. Anything but that. The worst-case scenario would be them showing up—I couldn’t even imagine Kacchan’s face. His head’s probably scrambled enough already. “Keep… uh… setting stuff up.” I flashed one last smile before shutting the door, letting out a deep breath.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

That word looped in my head as I shuffled robotically to the living room.

I’m already neck-deep, and if Kacchan walks in and sees a bunch of people here, that’ll be the shove I need to hang myself for good.

I didn’t tell him I left school—that’s already a massive trust breaker. On top of that, I’ve been dodging him lately. I know it, and I’m not trying to hurt him, but… it’s hard to figure out the right amount of distance. I just wanted a little space, not this obvious, dramatic mess, but… I don’t know how to handle it.

All those years shoving my feelings under the rug are hitting me now like a loan shark collecting. I can’t fake it like I used to—everything’s piled up into this giant snowball inside me. Being around him, hiding all this, bottling up my fears and feelings—it’s killing me. It’s gotten to a point where I can’t ignore it anymore, can’t keep running myself over. That’s why, even if I didn’t mean to, I’ve pushed him away so much—‘cause it’s unbearable in a way I didn’t even realize.

Telling him everything isn’t an option. I’m tired of dragging him into my crap. Tired of being a burden. And if Katsuki knew I liked him, that’d be another weight—for him and me.

I reply to his texts with short answers, never starting anything, just responding to what he sends. I can’t act like everything’s fine and nothing’s wrong—I can’t keep a normal conversation going. And I was a total jerk last time we saw each other, I know that. I don’t regret turning down his jacket, but I think I was too harsh, and it’s not his fault my head’s a mess. Not his fault I fell for those lazy afternoons in the art room or the way his hair glows in the sun.

It’s not his fault I’m like this.

He probably hates me already—or he’s damn close. Add all this up, and if he sees other people at my house…

He’ll think I ditched him.

Fuck.

I was gonna tell him later, calmly—not like this. Not with him showing up out of the blue, like I’ve been sneaking around. I didn’t want him to just find out, like I’m only telling him now ‘cause I’m cornered. I was planning to meet him somewhere, but now…

He’s at my door. What do I say? That I’m busy and send him away? I can’t do that. I can’t. I might pull that over text, but in person? Looking at his face after everything—his desperate messages, him knocking and asking me to open up?

If I act like that, if I drag this out…

I’ll just dig myself deeper into this hole I made.

No way. I’ve gotta end this stupid suspense now, even if he says he never wants to see me again—which he will, no matter how long I stall. I have to do this, ‘cause that’s the kind of person I wanna be. Someone who faces problems head-on and deals with them, like Kacchan does all the time—and that’s exactly why that bastard’s standing at my door right now, damn it.

As I walked to the living room, my heart was racing so fast it didn’t even feel like it was beating. I couldn’t feel it anymore—just a jumble of thumps. I was sweating cold, breathing deep, trying to chill out—or at least look chill. I racked my brain for a decent speech, dragging my feet to buy time to figure out what to do and what not to do. When I stopped at the door and heard another “Deku,” I knew no amount of thinking would ever prep me enough.

I swallowed hard, clenching my fists.

Nothing I said or did would change the ending. The one where one of us gets hurt bad.

Who am I kidding? Both of us will.

Then, sucking in a big breath for a burst of courage, I yanked the door open.

But I froze when I saw Kacchan with his back to me, a few feet away, sitting on the three-step porch with his arms slung carelessly over his bent knees—like he waited there for me every day.

Snapping out of staring at the cars on the street, Katsuki turned his head at the sound of the door. Unlike the chill vibe of his posture, his sharp eyes locked onto me with a glare that screamed, there you are, you little shit.

And right then, to my total dread and despair, I knew he wasn’t leaving until he got every answer he wanted.

“Hey.” He said simply, standing up. His backpack hung off one broad shoulder, blond hair slightly damp, wearing beat-up sweatpants and a black tank top with some random ‘80s rock band logo. I didn’t need a second look to know he’d come straight from basketball practice—probably running longer lately with the championship coming up. He tilted his head a bit, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Dodging me, nerd?”

And he was so gorgeous I wanted to die.

I always think I can’t be more stunned by Kacchan’s looks, but here I am, gawking at how he glares at me when he’s mad or the way he jams his hands in his pockets. Everything he does—the way he sits with his legs spread, how he leans his hip against anything—knocks my brain offline for a sec. Early on, I worried I’d be too obvious, but I stopped caring about getting caught.

He never noticed anyway.

“H-Hey.” I swallowed, my throat scratching. I crossed one foot behind the other, suddenly thinking running wasn’t such a bad idea. I glanced away, scratching my neck. “What were you doing sitting there…?”

He shrugged.

“Was planning to stake out here ‘til you opened the door… honestly, I was already calculating how long I’d wait ‘til your mom got home from work to let me in, since you’ve been doing a bang-up job kicking me to the curb…” He said it so casually, like it was nothing. I let out a nervous laugh, dropping my eyes to the band logo on his shirt, trying to distract myself with all those shapes and symbols. I knew it wouldn’t take long for the interrogation to start, and I wasn’t sure if him not showing up guns blazing—like I’d expected—calmed me down or freaked me out more. “Thought I might have to pitch a tent and camp out. Good thing you made it easy for me.” The irony in his voice was subtle, like a snake’s sweet venom.

I snorted nervously.

“Don’t be dumb…” I mumbled, totally awkward. I hated making him feel like he was the problem when that’s not it at all. But it’s… complicated.

Oh, Kacchan, if I could just tell you everything I think…

If you knew, you might regret being so nosy.

“Kacchan, I—”

“Can I at least come in?” He stepped closer, and I flinched, shoulders hunching. “So we can talk like civilized people? Or you gonna say you’ve got a stomachache like yesterday and send me packing?”

I didn’t want him coming in and risking him running into one of my new friends. That’d be an unnecessary mess I could avoid. It’d just make everything worse.

“C-Can we… go somewhere else?” I asked, stepping toward him, panicking a little when he raised an eyebrow. Damn it, Midoriya, could you be any weirder or more suspicious? “I-I mean…!” My eyes widened, hands flailing. “The house is a mess—let’s hit the diner on the corner!” I didn’t wait for a reaction, already turning him around and shoving his back to get him moving. “And there’s nothing to eat here—there we can grab a snack and—”

“You’re barefoot.” He said abruptly. I stopped pushing and looked down at my feet, laughing nervously as it hit me.

“Oh… y-yeah, of course. I knew that.” Scratching my neck, I gave him a shaky smile, getting nothing but his serious stare and crossed arms in return.

He wasn’t buying any of it, and that was freaking me out inside—maybe not even that inside.

“You’re in pajamas too. Not that I care, but…” He lowered one eyebrow and raised the other, sizing me up as a cold sweat bead rolled down my cheek. “You look kinda spooked. Almost like you just escaped a hostage situation. Were you being held captive in your own house, nerd?” Kacchan knew I was hiding something, and I knew he wasn’t calling it out directly just to mess with me while I squirmed. He bent forward, nearly at a ninety-degree angle to match my height and tease me. His red eyes bored into my soul, like they were trying to yank it out. “There a ghost behind me? Or am I the ghost?”

I swallowed hard and looked away.

I just needed to get him out of here fast.

“I-I’ll just grab some flip-flops real quick and be right—”

As I darted for the pair of flip-flops by the entrance, a loud crash boomed from the garage. Something hit the floor and shattered.

And of course, I wasn’t the only one who heard it.

I clamped my lips shut, eyes squeezing tight.

My fists—clenched without me even noticing—finally relaxed, revealing red nail marks in my palms.

The last bit of color drained from my face as a single thought slammed into me, sinking my feet into that hot asphalt…

I’m fucked.

“Thought your mom was at work…” he said, creeping closer, clearly onto what I was trying to pull while playing dumb. I stayed facing away, frozen, my thoughts crashing into each other like a war zone.

My shaky eyes locked on the wooden door.

What do I do, what do I do, what do I do…?

I’m out of excuses. I’ve made this mess worse than it was. Now he’ll find out there’s people in my house—and worse, that I tried to hide it. Another thing I kept from him.

I sighed, heavy and defeated.

No running from this.

“M-Must be a rat,” I blurted without thinking.

“Hm. Big-ass rat.”

I shut my eyes, took a deep breath, and finally turned to face him, meeting eyes colder than before.

Spill it all, Izuku. Now.

“Kacchan, listen…” I pressed my lips together, letting out another sigh. I was just… so damn tired. “Look, I was gonna tell you, but everything got so—”

“Izuku, sorry, we broke—” 

Kacchan and I spun toward the voice at the door. There was Todoroki, staring like he’d just walked into a minefield, with Hitoshi right behind him.

My stomach flipped. My legs shook like twigs in a storm, my head burned like hell, and I knew Katsuki would hate me now if he didn’t already.

I hid stuff from him, lied about other things, and was the shittiest best friend. I was everything he—and probably millions of others—hates most, and I don’t think there’s any fixing this now.

I just have to face the fallout.

“Oh… uh…” Shouto fumbled, like every word might turn into a grenade. “You said nothing in those boxes could break, so… we…” He flicked his eyes between me and the blond behind me, no doubt feeling the thick tension. “We accidentally broke some decorations, and seriously, so sorry. Just tell us the cost, and we’ll pay—”

“N-No worries.” I answered on autopilot, mind blank. My fingers itched, begging me to do something to shake off this monstrous anxiety. “They were just taking up space. My mom… Mom and I were gonna toss them anyway, so… really, don’t sweat it.” I sounded robotic, heart hammering. “It’s fine.”

“You sure?” Hitoshi stepped forward, eyebrow raised.

I nodded slowly.

Behind me, Kacchan was dead silent, and that freaked me out more than anything. I didn’t know what face he was making.

And I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

He hadn’t made a peep since Todoroki showed up.

“Man… well, looks like we’ll have to step it up beyond just buying you dinner,” Shouto joked, laughing, hands on hips. A weak stab at cutting the tension. I pressed my lips tight. “Thanks, though—you’re the best. And sorry again.”

I was still on autopilot, nodding again, praying they’d go back inside and leave me alone with Katsuki.

But of course, Todoroki—polite and friendly as ever—had to try fixing the stench of shit in the air.

“Hey, man, you good?” He stepped closer, greeting Kacchan like it was nothing. I still wasn’t ready to see Katsuki’s face. Like a coward, I stayed turned away, fists clenched, lips sealed, eyes glued to a blurry spot, trembling like a scared rat. The shame was too much to face any of them. “I’m Todoroki Shouto, that’s Shinsou over there.” He nodded briefly at Hitoshi, who just muttered a sup and gave a small wave, still by the door with his usual blank look. “Nice to meet you.” Smiling, he offered his hand to the blond.

Silence. Awful, awkward silence.

I knew Shouto was trying to help, but he couldn’t fix what he didn’t understand.

Seconds dragged on, slow and painful, and it was torture watching Todoroki’s hand hang there, waiting forever for Kacchan’s.

I dropped my head.

It was like a chasm had split the ground between them—Katsuki’s hand wouldn’t meet Shouto’s.

It’s agony for me because I know it’s my fault. My fault things are like this. My fault they’re not having the first meeting I wanted, my fault they might never be friends.

If I’d handled this differently, this wouldn’t be the scene playing out right now.

My new friends had no clue what was up—they weren’t to blame, and neither was Kacchan. I just hated that they were meeting like this, so messed up, all because of me. I wanted them to hit it off so bad, and it broke my heart knowing I’d ruined any shot at that. Normally, Kacchan would’ve been as cool as Todoroki was being—he’d be stoked to see me making friends and would’ve clicked with them fast. ‘Cause if there’s one thing Katsuki can do without even trying, it’s make people like him.

But I also knew he could never fake or hide how he felt, and I couldn’t expect him to.

He was pissed at me. Shocked to be caught off guard by these two. And hurt.

He had every right to be.

And I was gutted for creating a problem that didn’t need to exist. I let it happen, over nothing. Now it’s a giant shitshow with no ending but me crying under my blankets.

“Katsuki.” That’s all he said, short and sharp.

Goddamn.

But I sighed, relieved he’d said something.

And to my total shock, after what felt like forever, Kacchan raised his hand and shook Shouto’s.

“Katsuki?” Todoroki echoed, confused.

Huh?

“Yeah… Bakugo Katsuki,” I answered for him, the initial tension from his silence easing. I couldn’t expect much chit-chat from him anyway.

“Hm… I think I’ve heard that name before…” Todoroki frowned, thinking. “And now that I’m looking, you seem familiar.” He studied the blond, curious. “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you somewhere.”

I glanced at Katsuki out of the corner of my eye, hoping he’d say something, but his blank face—though I knew he was lost as hell underneath—said he wasn’t gonna. I cleared my throat. Felt like I had to speak for him, or poor Todoroki would be left hanging forever. Kacchan had already shocked me just by shaking his hand—I thanked him silently for not making a scene yet.

“Well… Kacchan’s the captain of the Shigaraki High basketball team, maybe you’ve—”

“Oh, yeah!” Todoroki lit up, grinning wide for the first time. “You guys played Yuei in last year’s state championship, right?” He planted his hands on his hips, suddenly so hyped I couldn’t help but be surprised. “You got famous at our school, dude. Everyone kept talking about the captain who crushed our team—I was super curious. Basketball’s not Yuei’s strong suit, kinda obvious, but it’d be awesome to have a guy like you on our squad—”

“You’re from Yuei?” Kacchan cut in, suddenly interested, and right then, I’d never wanted to die more. I knew my time was coming fast. The air rushed out of my lungs, and all I could do was dig my nails into my palms. “So how do you know Izuku?”

No, no, no, no.

This is, hands down, the worst-case scenario.

Worse than finding out like this is finding out from someone else instead of me.

And I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop this train wreck.

For the first time since Shouto and Hitoshi showed up, I looked up at Katsuki, rushing toward him, flailing my hands to grab his attention, my heart pounding so hard I thought it’d burst.

“Kacchan, I was gonna tell you, I—”

“Huh? He’s at Yuei now,” Shinsou said after a long silence, sounding puzzled. “You didn’t know? Today was his first day.”

I was an ant among elephants. No one saw my panic, my agony.

And right in front of me, I watched Katsuki’s face drain of color in a split second, like his blood pressure tanked.

Like someone had smacked him hard on the back of the head, his eyes bulged.

I’d never seen a look like that on him.

“Yeah, and he let us use his garage to practice with the band,” Todoroki added, eyes on me now, missing the shock on the blond’s face. “He’s seriously the best.”

I pressed my lips tight, head dropping.

I wished a runaway car would plow through and hit us all.

Wouldn’t be so bad.

But I’d want everyone else to just get scraped up.

Me, though…

“Yeah.” Katsuki’s voice came out a murmur, so low it barely carried, chilling me to the bone. I couldn’t look at him again. “He’s the best.” He repeated it so coldly I felt the icy air wrap around me, clashing with his disappointed eyes that burned into me.

No doubt about it—he hates me with everything he’s got now.

Worse than a blowup, this reaction hit harder.

Apathetic, cold… wounded. Silently telling me he was done.

He’d walk away and stop texting, stop trying to figure this out to fix us. No more showing up at my door, camping out like he’d joked about.

‘Cause I broke him. Broke his trust. And our friendship doesn’t make sense anymore.

“So… uh…” Todoroki’s voice piped up again, and now he was finally clocking that something was seriously off. He stepped back, swallowing hard, scratching his neck, shooting me a look like, Did I screw up?

I met his gaze, and that was enough. Sorry, but please, give me a minute alone with him, my eyes begged. Todoroki looked lost, maybe guilty, wondering if he should try lightening the mood again. But Hitoshi, thank God, got that there was nothing they could do—this wasn’t their mess. He took charge, stepping up to put a hand on Shouto’s shoulder.

“Well, let’s clean up the floor and finish setting up…” he said, gently tugging Todoroki inside. I held back a sigh of relief.

“Oh… yeah, yeah.” Todoroki nodded, still dazed, clearly not getting it. I felt bad for them—Shouto was probably blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t explain right then. He gave Katsuki one last friendly look, even though the blond was staring at the ground. “Nice meeting you, man.”

“Yeah, catch you around,” Hitoshi added, polite as ever, though both knew damn well the vibe was off.

Todoroki’s eyes apologized to me.

And they went back in, leaving us alone again.

It eased me a bit knowing they didn’t take Kacchan’s coldness personally. Maybe it’s that student council prez spirit—Shouto’s probably used to being nice to people who aren’t chatty. I hoped he saw this was just a shitty situation from shitty timing, even if he didn’t know why. Still, it sucked knowing it went down like this. I wanted Kacchan to get along with them so bad, wanted us all to be friends, but…

But because of me, that’s probably off the table now.

“Kacchan…” I called, even though I had no clue what to say. My tired eyes fixed on his shirt logo. I pressed my lips together, chewing the bottom one. Clenched my fists. I had so much to say and nothing at all. I sighed, heavy. “Kacchan… I…”

And he spun on his heels, turning his back.

That familiar lump swelled in my throat as I watched him storm toward his bike.

Does a single day ever pass without me crying?

My life was finally getting on track—if it ever was to begin with.

But now the tracks split, and two paths stretched out.

Do I have to pick one?

If I let him go, that’s it for us.

I’d take him yelling and screaming at me a thousand times over this—just turning away like that.

I’ve never seen him act this way, I…

I was desperate. Panicking like never before.

The feeling of something precious slipping through my fingers like sand…

And I couldn’t do a damn thing to grab it.

“Kacchan.” I called again, trying to sound firm, but my damn voice was starting to crack. I swallowed the tears hard, my feet moving on their own as I jogged pathetically toward Katsuki. He was climbing onto his bike, grabbing his helmet without sparing me a glance, his face heavy and stern. “Hey! Kacchan!” I stopped in front of the bike, planting my feet wide to root myself to the ground—like that’d do anything if he revved it up—and gripped the handlebars tight. “Hey, hey! Stop right there—I’m not letting you leave!” I shouted, determined, even though insecurity snaked through every inch of my face.

He was about to put the helmet on when he paused, eyeing me head to toe before letting out a short, nasal laugh. You really think you can stop me? his silent scorn said through his gaze.

“Get out of the way, Deku.”

“No, you have to listen to me, okay?” My heart was racing so fast it showed in my breath, rushing out in bursts. Then a booming roar thundered through the sky, majestic and terrifying, making me jump. Raindrops started falling, weak at first, over us. “Kacchan… look, I know what you’re thinking, alright? I know you must be confused and assuming a ton, but it’s not like that!” It was hard to cobble together a coherent speech with no time to think. “It’s not what you think, I just…” I scrambled for words, but they slipped away. The lack of them made me panic more, and that panic wasn’t helping me think straight. Anxiety was eating me alive. I was losing my footing. “I… I just… Kacchan, it was a misunderstanding! It was all a misunderstanding!”

He stared at me, dead serious, helmet still in his hands, resting on his lap.

I caught a flicker of disappointment in his eyes, and it crushed my chest. Because I think he was hoping for more than a lame “it was all a misunderstanding.”

“A misunderstanding, huh?” He raised an eyebrow. His indifference tore me apart. Please… yell at me, please. Hit me if you want. Just don’t leave me. “Okay. If that’s it, get out of my way.”

I pressed my lips together, my hands shaking on the handlebars.

I could feel the gravel poking my bare, wet feet as our clothes slowly soaked through.

The rain was picking up.

“N-No… it’s just…” I dropped my head, green strands sticking to my forehead. I felt powerless, clueless on how to fix this, how to get him off that bike—and that helplessness gnawed at me so bad it turned into tears. “It’s not like that…”

“Go ahead and cry.” His words made me snap my head up, eyes widening. But he stayed stone-faced, unmoved. His gaze was cold and cutting, sharper than I’d ever seen. And for a split second, there was a crack—I saw through the wall he’d thrown up. He was… deeply hurt. “It’s what you’re best at, right?”

I clamped my lips shut, my chest caving in on my heart.

He wanted to hurt me because I’d hurt him.

And that’s fine. I deserved it.

“Kacchan, get off the bike, please.” I waited, knowing he wouldn’t budge. “I can’t… I can’t talk like this, I can’t think straight, I… please.”

He started backing up, but when he turned the handlebars right to dodge me, I lunged forward again, gripping the bike.

“Stop!”

“No, you stop, damn it!” For the first time, he snapped, and right on cue, another thunderclap roared through the cloudy sky. I swallowed hard under his furious glare but didn’t back down, clutching the handlebars tight. “Don’t test me, Deku—you know I’m crazy. I’m so pissed I don’t even know what I might do. Get the hell out of the way.”

No cheap tricks are gonna sway me, Kacchan. You don’t scare me. And you know it.

“What’re you gonna do? Run me over?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s see who’s crazier.”

He laughed, dragging his soaked bangs back with his hand, then shook his head like a wet dog.

“Fine.” He laughed again and revved the engine hard. It startled me, making me jump back, but I kept my hands firm on the bars. Katsuki looked at me like I was nuts, then, seeing I wasn’t budging, he just grabbed his backpack, left the helmet on the seat, and stood, kicking the stand down to park the bike. “I’ll come back for it later when you’re not around.” He started walking off, but of course I chased after him, throwing myself in his path again. He sighed, tilting his head back like he was exhausted.

The sky seemed pissed, mourning how we’d ended up. The heavy clouds wept over us.

“Kacchan, I know how you’re feeling, but—”

“You do?” He let out a sarcastic laugh that shook his body. “You really do, Deku?” I swallowed hard. “What was your plan, huh? Just vanish? Disappear from my life like you never existed? Oh, too bad it didn’t go how you wanted.”

“STOP!! That’s not it!” I yelled, slamming my hands against his chest. “Kacchan, it’s just…” I tried choking back the tears—I had to be strong. But my hands, clutching his shirt, shook like hell. “It all snowballed, I didn’t mean—”

“Now I get why you were so hellbent on dodging me.” He laughed, finding humor that wasn’t there, that I knew he didn’t even feel. “You knew this’d happen, didn’t you? Knew you wouldn’t need me anymore, so you wanted to cut me off quick. And yeah, you don’t need me now. You’ve got new friends.” He nodded as I shook my head frantically, eyes wide with guilt over every word he spat, unable to rewind and fix it all. “I knew you’d pull it off. I wanted you to make friends and be happy so bad…” And now, the smile on his face was… melancholic. It stabbed me. “Too bad you don’t want me in on it.”

Oxygen struggled through my body, barely reaching my brain, leaving me dizzy.

“Kacchan, for God’s sake, you—”

“It’s ‘cause being around me just drags you down, right?” I blinked, confused. “Being my friend means remembering that fuckin' school and all those assholes who hurt you… ‘cause you think it’s my fault, and… and maybe…” For the first time, he looked lost. For once, he wasn’t in control. His eyes were… heavy. They wouldn’t meet mine, weighed down by a sadness I’d never seen. “Maybe it is my fault.” My eyes nearly popped out. “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have gone through any of that—”

“Enough, Kacchan!” I grabbed his shoulders hard and yanked him closer, forcing him to look at me. The sudden move made his backpack slip to the ground. “Look at me!”

And reluctantly, he did what I asked.

I rarely got a read on Kacchan. He’s usually this massive, unbreakable wall.

But right then, he was like a baby in my hands.

“Kacchan, it’s not like that. I don’t think that—not even close!” The rain, louder and stronger, forced me to shout. It was just us, soaked to the bone, the only ones dumb enough to stand in that empty street under a downpour like that. “You were… you were the best thing that ever happened to me, Kacchan!” Maybe it sounded like a confession, but I didn’t care. “If I was ever happy at that school, it’s because of you.” Something eased in his face—I felt it in how his shoulders loosened under my grip—but his eyes still watched me, waiting. “You’re my best friend—nothing’s changed. I mean… I know some stuff between us has shifted, but…” I squeezed his shoulders hard, hands trembling nonstop. “I didn’t want it to be like this!!”

He stared, serious, like he was chewing on my words.

I thought, naively, I’d gotten through to him.

Then, suddenly, he pressed his lips tight.

And the unease flooded back into his face.

“Why’d you do it, Deku?” He pulled away, shaking my hands off. “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to leave school? I can’t wrap my head around it. What’d you think would happen? That I’d stop you?”

“N-No, I…” I was scared, Kacchan. I didn’t want to drag you into my mess anymore, didn’t want to dump my demons on you. I’m tired of you shielding me, tired of making you feel like you have to. But one thing would’ve led to another—if I’d told you I wanted out, I’d have had to explain why I was so miserable, why I needed to escape that place so bad. I didn’t want to tell you how humiliated I was, ‘cause I knew what you’d do if you found out. And yeah, I was scared that if I told you, I’d chicken out of leaving. Not ‘cause I thought you’d stop me… but ‘cause I know if I let my guard down with you, it’d be even harder to let you go.

Plus… besides getting away from those people, I wanted distance from you too. I’m tired of seeing you every day. Tired of holding so much in and saying so little. Tired of watching you so in love with someone who isn’t me—and never will be.

I think that, Kacchan, is harder to bear than anything at that school.

“Kacchan, I… I was really bad off yesterday. You saw it, you know.” I crossed my arms, trying not to show it was just a casual move to warm myself up. The rain brought a biting wind. But we were too caught up in our bubble, too desperate to get each other, to care about the weather. “Right then, I decided I wanted out. That exact moment. Honestly, I should’ve left ages ago, but yesterday was the breaking point.” I sighed, dropping my head for a sec before glancing around, staring at nothing. “And I just… wasn’t thinking straight. I wanted out fast, ‘cause I… couldn’t take hearing all that stuff anymore.” My arms hugged me tighter. “I wasn’t okay, and that’s why I was a jerk to you. I didn’t feel like unloading, exposing my problems again. ‘Cause sometimes… no, all the time, I feel like a burden.” He opened his mouth to argue, but I cut in fast. “And I know you’ll say it’s not like that, but it is. I know it is. Even if it’s not a hassle for you, it’s a hassle for me. I don’t wanna weigh anyone down.”

Silence.

I sighed, heavy.

“Today was my first day at Yuei, and I was gonna tell you. I couldn’t stop thinking about it—seriously, it was torture. But you showed up here and found out like this… and… it all just snowballed, Kacchan. I didn’t mean it, I didn’t plan any of this.” I shrugged, exhausted. Had to take off my glasses—the drops on the lenses were blinding me. “I’m sorry. Forgive me, please.”

Katsuki stared, processing everything.

But something still bugged him.

“You might not have meant it, Izuku… but that doesn’t change that you’ve been pushing me away—and not just today or yesterday. Not telling me you switched schools was just a detail!” We had to speak louder and louder over the rain pounding the ground. “And how the hell do you think I feel, knowing our friendship’s all fucked up, then I show up here and see you chilling with new friends?” He snorted a mocking laugh, pacing like he was figuring out what to say—or holding back what he really thought—before stopping in front of me again, glaring. “Y’know, I feel shitty saying this, ‘cause it sounds selfish, like I don’t want you to have other friends, like I want you all to myself—and it’s not that! Damn it, all I ever wanted was for your life to be normal, for you to have friends—not ‘cause I felt overwhelmed or any bullshit like that, ‘cause even if you don’t believe it, I wouldn’t care if you were glued to me from birth—but ‘cause I knew only having me was tearing you up, and of course I get that. I wanted to be happy for you right now, and yeah, maybe I’m just a selfish bastard, but it sucks…!” He stopped himself after spilling it all in one breath, pressing his lips tight. He stared, like he was debating whether to keep unloading on me. Water plastered his blond bangs to his forehead, half-covering his eyes… swollen? “It sucks missing you this much when you seem totally fine without me.”

The last bit of air in my body escaped, and I nearly lost my legs, stumbling back a step before steadying myself.

I tried processing it all, but it felt too surreal. I’d never seen him this raw, this…

Hurt.

My heart pounded, hard.

I had no idea he felt like this.

I mean, I knew he’d feel ditched… but I didn’t know he was this… wrecked over it.

He missed me?

But I thought… he was too wrapped up with Uraraka to notice anything else. I didn’t think he’d clocked my distance this much, and that hit me like a punch. I wasn’t ready for a speech like that.

But man, it came at the worst time.

‘Cause yeah, Kacchan, I am pulling away. You’re right. I don’t want to lose your friendship, don’t want you to hate me.

But we can’t be like we were anymore.

And hearing all this makes me wanna confess and throw myself into your arms right now.

But I know what you mean. You just miss how our friendship used to be. My brain gets that, but my heart doesn’t. My heart’s weak, it can’t figure shit out. It latches onto any scrap you toss my way.

My heart wants me to give myself to you—body and soul, burning, desperate.

But I know you don’t want me like that, so stop saying pretty words.

Stop saying you miss me, ‘cause I miss you too.

But you don’t miss me the way I miss you, and I don’t miss you the way you miss me.

We want different things, different endings.

And I can’t keep standing by you, unable to be what I want to be.

“Kacchan… I…” I didn’t know what to say, but he was waiting. I sighed. What should I say? I can’t lie and promise it’ll all go back to normal. “I… miss you too.” And I say it ‘cause it’s the only truth I can give. I say it knowing nothing changes. I’ll just keep missing you, and we can’t fix it. “And… well, I…” I bit my lip, glancing around, scrambling for what to do. My whole body shook—now from the cold too. I didn’t want to stay in this rain, didn’t want to see him soaked like that. “Let’s talk better later, okay? It’s raining, and… we’ll catch colds if we stay out here…” His face dimmed, and I knew that wasn’t the answer he wanted. “Come inside, please. I want you to meet my friends—you’ll like them—”

“Sorry, Deku, but I’m not up for that right now.” That’s all he said, flat. He bent down, grabbed his wet backpack off the ground, and turned back to his bike. My eyes widened, and I ran after him. “Sorry for ruining your happy day.” Sarcasm dripped from every word.

“Wait, Kacchan!”

“Y’know what’s funny, Deku?” He stopped short and spun around, making me crash into his chest. I swallowed hard, stepping back quick, looking up at him. He smiled—a cold one. “You said I was your only friend, that you didn’t wanna lean on me… but…” He snorted, glancing around like he was lost in thought, then locked those red eyes on me. And I don’t mean the color. “You’re my only friend too.”

My chest squeezed so tight it hurt.

My eyes widened, my heartbeat stuttering for a second.

“I know since I met Uraraka, we drifted.” I swallowed hard. Her name sent shivers down me, dragging up every time I got sidelined. And there were plenty. “And I know if we’re like this now, it’s my fault too. Maybe more mine than yours.” He pressed his lips together. “Guess I didn’t realize how much I liked having you around ‘til you were gone. Honestly, nothing ties me to that school. Not not anymore.”

Stop.

Stop saying nice things.

I know it’s not true, I know you’d pick her, so please…

‘Cause my heart’s dumb and can’t stop falling for every careless word you throw out.

I dropped my head, staring at my bare, wet feet, now muddy.

My heart hurts. Hurts too much.

I should’ve known. Should’ve known the second you put your hand on my shoulder and smiled at me in that art room, with the last rays of sun lighting everything up—especially you—like some kind of warning.

I should’ve known you wouldn’t just be another crush.

You’re different from anyone I’ve liked. Liking someone was always simple for me. Calm, peaceful. So I underestimated you, Kacchan.

I was used to liking in silence, used to the quiet, the soft thump thump my heart would do now and then.

But with you, I found out how many levels a heartbeat can hit.

I was used to calm waters.

But you came at me like a storm—like the one dumping on us now.

Before you, I thought I knew what liking someone was. Thought I knew passion.

If I’d known back then what I know now, I’d never have underestimated you like that.

“You… have Uraraka.”

He made me look up when he laughed out of nowhere, snapping back in half a second with:

“So what?”

Just that.

My eyes widened.

“I can’t just leave ‘cause of basketball—winning the championship as captain’ll get me a scholarship to a good college. Switching schools now would screw me over. Things aren’t easy at home, I really need that scholarship, and…” He closed his eyes and sighed. “Anyway, that’s not the point.” He locked eyes with me, steady. “But that’s the only thing keeping me in that hellhole.”

I don’t think I’d ever seen him talk this much. He never unloaded on me—his gripes were never big deals, never enough to make him this introspective. But now, for the first time, he was opening up. I was always the one spilling—sure, only when I couldn’t hold it in anymore—always the one baring myself to him.

But now, for once, Kacchan seemed like any other teen, with fears, insecurities, dreams.

For once, he didn’t feel so far from me.

“But now, knowing I won’t see you every day at school, that the art room’ll always be empty… it…” He sighed, scratching his neck. He looked away, focusing on some random tree nearby, and muttered, more to himself than me: “I can’t even picture what it’ll be like without you… and maybe I’m being dramatic or over-the-top, but I don’t care. It’s how I feel, and I think you should know.”

Something in my chest swelled, startling me.

“I’ve got people around me, talking, smiling… but now I look at all those faces and don’t see yours in the crowd.” My heart skipped when his gaze landed back on me—red, fierce, intense, with raindrops clinging to his lashes. “And all I wanna do is disappear and go wherever you are.”

And then, that swelling thing exploded inside me. It was hot, so hot—big and loud like fireworks bursting in the sky, clashing with the rain, the cold outside, the icy clothes plastered to my body—and his.

But right after, I dropped my head and laughed.

‘Cause that warm, beautiful feeling gave way to anger.

He’s got Uraraka, so this whole drama’s pointless. He’s saying this now, but if I were still there, sharing space with her, he wouldn’t even notice me. I’d just be the sidekick to their main couple, and I’m sick of that role.

“Don’t say all that.” My voice came out a low murmur—I thought he might not hear.

“Why not?” He stepped closer to catch it.

“‘Cause it’s not real.” I laughed again, still not looking at him. “Those aren’t things friends say to each other. You know that, right?”

I just wanted him to stop stringing me along. To stop—even unintentionally—tying me to him.

Katsuki went quiet, soaking in my words.

I didn’t see his face, didn’t want to.

I just wanted to sink into myself so he couldn’t find me anymore. So he wouldn’t chase me with pretty words that felt like shackles.

I’m done being a hostage to this feeling.

“Yeah. We’re just friends.” He said firmly, finally. His tone steady now. “You’re right. Those aren’t things friends say.”

I let out a weak, nasal laugh.

“Yeah, they’re not.” I looked up at him. “So there’s no point in saying them.”

He pressed his lips together and nodded slowly, eyes locked on mine.

“Yeah… no point at all.”

Then we heard the front door creak open in the distance, breaking our intense stare.

“Look, sorry to cut in, but…” It was Jirou, leaning on the frame, pointing at the sky with a smirk. “It’s raining. Like hell, in case you didn’t notice. And you’ve been out here a while.” Kacchan and I glanced at each other. “Why not come in and keep… whatever this is going, huh? We’re not gossips—won’t eavesdrop. Well, can’t vouch for Kaminari, but I swear the rest of us are decent.”

“I’m heading out anyway,” Katsuki replied, and I snapped my eyes to him. “But thanks.”

Jirou bounced her gaze between us, shrugged, and went back inside, shutting the door.

“Your call.”

The rain was easing up, along with my heartbeat.

Kacchan pressed his lips together and dipped his head a bit. I watched the water drip from his blond hair to the ground.

“Sorry for showing up unannounced.” He said suddenly, like he’d run out of words but didn’t want to leave.

I swallowed hard.

“Stop that. I…” I scratched the back of my neck. “I don’t want you leaving like this. Come in, okay? Take a shower, dry off—you’re soaked, and…”

I tugged lightly at his shirt, and Katsuki lifted his head to look at me.

“And I’d really like you to come in and meet my friends. For real, I want that.”

He seemed to mull it over, but then looked away, sighing.

“Another day.” He stepped back. “I’m not in the headspace for it today, and I’ve already made a bad enough impression.”

“Kacchan, wait—”

“See ya, Deku.” He gave me one last look before climbing onto his bike and taking off.

And I stood there, frozen in the rain, listening to the engine roar as I watched him disappear into the blurry horizon.

A bitter taste lingered on my tongue.

In my perfect world, Kacchan would come in, meet my friends, and it’d all end fine.

But after that talk, I couldn’t expect him to slap on a smile and act like everything was okay.

It wasn’t okay.

Still, him showing up wasn’t the disaster I’d feared. No yelling, no blowups, no rage fits—none of that.

It was worse.

‘Cause I realized. He realized.

We both realized.

We can’t go back to who we were.

I already knew that.

But what hit me hard was seeing that something between us had snapped for good.

~*~

Saturday rolled around, bringing the Moon Festival with it.

Tents and tables were being hauled back and forth, Mina barking orders through a megaphone—it was hilarious to watch, totally unnecessary, but she seemed to love it. All the prep was done, decorations getting strung up everywhere.

It was hot as hell, so whenever a cool breeze hit, everyone stopped mid-task to fan their shirts and let the air sneak in.

Shouts and laughter bounced around, Mina occasionally chewed someone out, and random stuff got chucked through the air. You could hear grumbles about exhaustion, but everyone was buzzing for the festival to kick off—it was open to all schools.

The chaotic energy of the place made me happy, but something still thumped in my chest.

I stood there, watching students hoist the giant Moon Festival banner—one of the only things I’d had time to help with—high above the school gates. My heart warmed seeing something we’d worked so hard on displayed for everyone. It felt different up there, meters off the ground—bigger, prettier.

Even though I hadn’t done it solo, it was my first time being part of something like this, having my art shown off, and…

Everything was so beautiful.

My heart was pounding.

But… something was still off…

Not here, not at Yuei, not with these people, not the festival.

Something was wrong with me, inside me.

Kacchan and I hadn’t talked since that day—almost a week ago. No texts, nothing. We’d never gone more than a day without talking, and now, out of nowhere…

A week had passed.

“A little more to the righ—no, my right!!” Mina popped up beside me, yelling, and I covered my mouth to stifle a laugh. “IF THAT BANNER FALLS, I’M CASTRATING EVERYONE! I SAID RIGHT, IS THAT SO HARD TO GET? DON’T YOU KNOW LEFT FROM RIGHT?!”

“Whoa, babe, chill,” Jirou said, appearing on my other side, cigarette dangling between her fingers. “You’ll get frown lines if you keep raging like that.” She took a drag, eyes narrowing. “But I kinda like it.”

“No smoking on school grounds—hand it over.” Mina, all business, stuck out her hand.

“I’m technically not on school grounds.” Jirou glanced at her feet, just ten centimeters off the property line. I couldn’t hold it in—I cracked up. Mina looked ready to foam at the mouth.

“The sidewalk’s still school territory!!”

“So if pedestrians walk here, they’re trespassing? Should we call the cops?” Jirou asked, feigning shock as she took a long drag under Mina’s furious glare. Mina stomped over, snatched the cigarette, tossed it down, and crushed it hard.

“God, you drive me nuts!!” Mina shouted, nearly tearing her hair out, but didn’t give Jirou a chance to fire back, storming off. “I don’t have time to babysit—I’ve got bigger stuff to deal with!” she yelled, already far off. Without turning, she jabbed a finger at me—maybe she’s got eyes in the back of her head. “And Izuku, keep an eye on her!”

“Got it,” I said through laughs, not really planning to take it seriously.

“She needs to relax,” Kyouka muttered after a quiet beat, and I chuckled as she pulled another cigarette from her pocket and lit it. “But she’s cute when she’s mad, huh?”

“Something tells me she doesn’t find it as funny as you do.” I grinned at her shamelessness, lighting up again like nothing happened. “Your flirting game’s questionable.”

“I’m not flirting with her.” She took a drag. Offered it to me, but I waved it off. “She’s straight, I told you.”

“How do you know?”

“She said she’s not into girls.”

“You asked?”

“No, I overheard her talking to a friend.” I raised an eyebrow, and she shrugged. “What? I was just passing by and caught it.”

“Sure, ‘passing by.’” I laughed. “You passed by, stopped for five minutes to eavesdrop, then kept going.”

“Didn’t say I didn’t stop—just said I was passing by.” She replied, deadpan, taking another drag. I cracked up, shaking my head.

“You two have such an enemies-to-lovers vibe—it’s cute.”

“Stop reading fanfics, gay.”

I laughed hard, and after stubbing out her cigarette, she smirked and admitted:

“Who am I kidding? I read fanfics too. Gay ones, obviously.”

“What’re you doing here, Jirou? ‘Cause you sure didn’t come to help,” Kaminari said, popping out of nowhere, his blond hair a mess, panting, draped in festival decorations. Denki loves setting stuff up—he’s super helpful, the type to volunteer for everything. But I think people pile too much on him ‘cause he enjoys it so much, and he doesn’t mind ‘til he’s wiped out—like now. “It’s still two hours ‘til it starts, and our band’s not on ‘til the end.”

“Came to offer moral support.” She grinned, proud. Kaminari just stared at her, bored. “And ‘cause I had nothing to do at home.”

“Need help, Kaminari?” I offered, stepping closer and, without waiting, started peeling decorations off him. He looked surprised.

“Oh, thanks, Izuku!” He flashed a wide smile, cheeks flushed—probably from the heat and exhaustion. “Good thing we finished setting up the garage yesterday, huh? Now the tough part’s hauling the instruments and cramming them into Hitoshi’s junk-filled van…”

We chatted as we wandered the courtyard, Jirou trailing us—she’d ditched the cigarette, maybe still clinging to a shred of self-preservation to not poke Mina’s wrath again—stopping now and then to set up decorations at tents.

Everyone had been worried after days of rain, thinking the festival might get pushed back. But today, against all odds, not a cloud in sight—just endless blue, the sun blazing, cherry blossoms drifting in the warm summer breeze. Birds sang in the branches, chasing each other around.

A classic, gorgeous summer day straight out of a movie.

The last time I saw a day this perfect was at last year’s Koi Festival… with Kacchan.

Ah.

That day was amazing.

I even questioned Kacchan’s sexuality a few times that day. We really seemed like a couple—at least to outsiders. It was near a temple outside town, no one from school around. We had a blast from start to finish—perfect. Everyone was happy. It was hot, but a cool breeze kept us comfortable. At night, there was a parade with dancing, costumes, and traditional Japanese music. The stalls had delicious, fragrant food—I’d never eaten so much in my life; woke up the next day stuffed. There was a lake nearby with stunning koi, and at the end, fireworks lit up the sky.

Kacchan looked so beautiful under the colored glow, smiling up at the sky like he didn’t need anything else, and I felt so special—even knowing it was an illusion—just for being the one he chose to spend that day with.

I’d never been to these festivals before, he’d confessed at the end, hands in his jeans pockets, grinning as he walked me home. Thanks for today, he added, and I, the idiot, couldn’t form a sentence or do anything but stare, heart in my hands, stars in my eyes.

That’s when I almost kissed him. Actually, I almost did a lot that day.

That’s when I realized I was falling for you, Kacchan.

“Wow, almost ten already!” Kaminari exclaimed after asking the time from a passing student, turning to us wide-eyed. “People’ll start showing up soon!”

“Have you seen Todoroki or Hitoshi around?” I asked, realizing I hadn’t spotted them yet.

“They’re probably setting up the gear by the stage, testing the sound system and stuff,” the blond said, shrugging. “I’m so pumped—I invited some friends from my old middle school, haven’t seen them in ages!” He beamed. Kaminari’s got a great smile, I just noticed. “What about you guys—invite anyone?”

“Nah.” Jirou shrugged. “I’m here for the food.”

“But you’re performing too,” I reminded her.

She shrugged again.

“I’m here for the food.” She doubled down, making me laugh. Jirou’s a riot. All of them are, really.

Something inside me feels like it’s finally slotting back into place—something lost so long I’d forgotten it was missing.

“What about you, Izuku?” Kaminari turned to me. “That friend who came to your house—is he coming?”

My eyes widened. I didn’t expect him to bring up Kacchan—especially since he didn’t even see him that day, and Todoroki and Hitoshi hadn’t mentioned it, at least not around me.

“O-Oh, I…” I looked away. “I don’t know…”

I still hadn’t worked up the nerve to invite him.

“You two had a big fight, huh?” I glanced at him sideways. “Sorry, I’m kinda nosy…” He gave an awkward smile, scratching his neck. “I peeked out the window a little—just a little! Couldn’t hear anything, though—too much rain noise…”

“Was that your boyfriend?” Jirou cut in, her usual blank look on, and I choked on air, coughing like a maniac under her deadpan stare and Kaminari’s curious one.

“What?! N-No! We’re not!” Maybe I answered too fast. “Just friends!”

“Looked like boyfriends. Or at least hookups.” She said it casually, leaning against a tree trunk. “Thought you were having a lovers’ spat or something.”

I blushed, looking away.

God, if only…

“Man, this Jirou…” Kaminari forced a laugh. “She’s nosy too.” He chuckled nervously, nudging her discreetly. She grunted but didn’t care much.

“But, uh, good thing you’re just friends then—Shinsou and Shouto’ll be reli—”

“WHOA, HEY, STILL SO MUCH TO DO!!” Kaminari yelled out of nowhere, nearly knocking me over from the shock. “Let’s go, guys—no slacking!” He clapped his hands to rile us up. “You two aren’t dead enough yet. I wanna see this ground soaked with your sweat!”

“Good luck with that.” Jirou grumbled, popping an earbud in, not budging. I grinned at Kaminari’s pure rage face, but we kept working—though we’d pause every so often when Jirou tossed out a quip and Kaminari couldn’t resist biting back, cracking me up every time.

~*~

[Izuku]: Hey Kacchan

[Izuku]: u good?

[Izuku]: There’s a festival at Yuei today

[Izuku]: It’s already started, actually

[Izuku]: I helped make the banner at the entrance *u*

[Izuku]: I’d love for u to see it and tell me what you think, so…

[Izuku]: u coming?

It’s been an hour since I sent those messages, and no reply.

I’d chewed my lips raw from the nerves.

“What’s up, Izuku?” Hitoshi appeared, holding two takoyaki skewers, munching one and offering me the other. I started waving my hands, ready to politely decline. “Don’t even try it. Eat.”

I glanced between the food and his blank face, debating if I should take it. He wiggled the skewer closer, teasing, and it made me laugh. It smelled amazing—I couldn’t resist and grabbed it. He’d already bought it anyway. Plus, I was starving—I hadn’t eaten since the festival started, too wound up waiting for Kacchan’s response.

“So, what’s got you glued to that phone?” he asked, voice muffled by a mouthful. We kept weaving through the stalls. The event was packed, but the campus is huge and open, so it felt nice—though my head was too cluttered to really enjoy it.

“Oh…” I forced a weak smile. “It’s nothing…”

“Bakugo stuff?” After everyone saw that scene the other day, questions like this were standard now. I try dodging them, but it’s tough sometimes. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want.”

I sighed, shrugging.

“I invited him to come today, but he hasn’t said anything…” I waited for Shinsou to chime in. He didn’t. I let out a nasal laugh and bit into the takoyaki, looking away. “Told you it’s dumb…”

“If it were dumb, you wouldn’t be sad.”

Hitoshi doesn’t mean harm, but he’s blunt as hell. He hits your weak spots without much finesse—maybe ‘cause he’s so self-assured, fearless. Not everyone’s like that. I know this about him, but it’s still hard to get used to.

“I’m not sad.” I went defensive, plastering on a smile. “It’s just… well…”

“Just…” He mimicked my tone, smirking sideways at me. “Just that you wish he were here, huh?”

I laughed, but it wasn’t funny. It was tragic.

I hate how transparent I am.

I chomped the takoyaki, chewing slow as my mind wandered to what Kacchan might be doing. With Uraraka, maybe?

“Y’know, when I saw you mid-existential crisis on that bus, I wondered what the guy who messed you up like that looked like…” Hitoshi brought it up casually, taking a big bite of his snack. His eyes were on me—seemingly indifferent, but tracking every twitch on my face. I tried hiding it by looking away, but he probably caught my Adam’s apple bobbing. “Well, at least he lives up to the hype I built in my head.” He shrugged, facing forward as we walked side by side.

I frowned.

“Hype…?”

“To rattle a guy like you this much, I figured he’d have to be pretty hot.”

A guy like me…?

It took a second to click, but as his words sank in, my eyes widened.

My face flared up like I was roasting in an oven—I whipped my head the other way, and in a nervous flail, shoved a whole takoyaki in my mouth. I was so flustered I didn’t even clock that I could’ve choked. God, how does he say stuff like that so easily…?

Shinsou covered his mouth with a fist, muffling a laugh.

He was clearly enjoying this.

Our ideas of fun are worlds apart.

It’s weird when someone calls me good-looking—sad to admit, but it’s hard to buy. I never know if they mean it or if they’re just saying it to be nice. Last time someone piled on compliments, they slammed the door after, grinning ear to ear, and said I was pitiful.

“I don’t get where you’re going with this…” I mumbled, stuffing my mouth to feed my anxiety.

I heard him chew and swallow.

“Trying to subtly figure out if you two have a thing.”

I laughed nervously, staring at him in disbelief at his nerve.

“Oh yeah, real subtle.”

“You kinda force people to be blunt, y’know?” He shrugged. “Anyway, bummer—caught me red-handed.” He fake-sighed in defeat. I couldn’t help laughing—he’s got charm, no doubt. “So, you got a thing or not?”

Sometimes Hitoshi doesn’t even seem human. He says this stuff so naturally… it’s kinda freaky.

Or maybe I’m the weird one. We’re almost adults, right? Graduating soon… I should be able to talk about my feelings with confidence, like an adult. Adults treat feelings like no big deal—maybe they aren’t. They’ve got bigger worries.

So, as a near-adult, I shouldn’t freak out like a scared kid.

“A thing?” I frowned. Was he seriously suggesting Katsuki and I were something?

“Yeah, a thing.”

“What thing?”

“That’s what I’m tryna find out.”

“What’s a thing to you?” Maybe I’d misheard.

He rolled his eyes.

“Don’t play dumb, Izuku. You know what I mean. Yes or no—simple.”

“We don’t have a thing.” I made air quotes. “I told you, we’re friends. And he’s straight.”

He laughed, scanning the stalls around us. Took another bite.

“Sure, friends. Totally got that vibe.”

This was starting to grate on me.

“What makes you think we’ve got something?”

“Well, you like him. Or am I off?” He looked at me, eyebrow cocked in a way that—though I know he didn’t mean it—I felt…humiliated. To him, this might be middle-school-level chatter, but… it hurts. A lot.

‘Cause I do like Kacchan—obvious even to people who just met me. I can’t even deny it; it’s clear as day. It’s embarrassing.

I turned my face away, watching cherry blossoms drift gracefully from branches to the ground.

“No… you’re not wrong,” I muttered, feeling exposed, defenseless. I’d had a similar talk with Kirishima, but even he wasn’t this sharp about it. “But a relationship isn’t just one person’s feelings.”

I hate talking about this—Hitoshi was basically forcing me to. It’s like my heart’s splayed out on a table for everyone to gawk at. I despise feeling vulnerable. And I hate when people hint Kacchan might feel the same, ‘cause I know how impossible that is. I’ve suffered too much over him for someone who doesn’t know half the story to waltz in and suggest there’s something when there’s no chance.

It hurts ‘cause deep down, I like hearing it.

And it hurts remembering it’s nowhere near reality.

Now, we’re barely even friends.

“He doesn’t know you like him?” His eyes widened like it clicked. “Wow, this is messier than I thought. Both of you are clueless and can’t sit down to talk, huh?”

Okay, he’s crossing a line.

Who does he think he is, lecturing me like he knows jack about me and Kacchan?!

It’s like he’s calling me an idiot, and it pissed me off.

“Sorry, but I don’t get you, Shinsou.” I stopped walking, facing him, dead serious. His hints were ticking me off too much. “And he’s got a girlfriend, by the way. With G.”

“Oh, really?” He raised an eyebrow, chuckling as he looked away, chewing. “Does he know he’s got a girrrlfriend…?” He emphasized the R, mocking my last comment. I shot him an incredulous look, lost on his sarcasm. Smirking, he raised his hands in surrender. “My bad, my bad. I didn’t say that.”

“Did you hear our talk?” I was stone-cold now, meaning that day Kacchan came over.

Hitoshi looked thrown by my tone.

“No, but—”

“Then don’t talk about what you don’t know.” I said, firm.

His eyes widened.

“You don’t know anything. You don’t know Kacchan. He’s straight, okay? Straight. He’d never see me that way, so stop saying that stuff.” ‘Cause it hurts, I added in my head. “There’s nothing to sit and talk about. He sees me as a brother—he’s made that clear. So please, don’t butt in again.”

Even I was shocked by how sharp I sounded—it wasn’t planned, it just came out.

Hitoshi went quiet.

As seconds ticked by and my flash of anger faded, regret hit me hard.

Embarrassed under his stunned gaze, I swallowed, dropping my head.

He stared, surprised, and I panicked that I’d maybe trashed a friendship that’d just started.

“Sorry, it’s just…” I pressed my lips together, hearing the chatter and laughs around us. My whole body shook.

They weren’t laughing at me, right?

I glanced around, spooked, but no one was looking.

I sighed, relieved.

My chest tightened just from…

I shook my head to ditch those memories.

“I kinda…” I sighed. “Kinda sick of people talking about us like that.”

‘Cause my thing with Kacchan can never be like that, no matter what they say or think.

I’m so damn tired of assumptions.

“Sorry, I was really harsh…” I went on, mortified, too ashamed to look at him. “I know you didn’t mean to be cruel or anything—sorry—”

“Stop apologizing.” He finished his takoyaki and tossed the stick in a nearby trash can. Seeing I was done too, he gently took mine and did the same. “It’s not my business, so I owe you an apology. I overstepped. Didn’t realize I’d made you that uncomfortable. If I do it again, call me out, please.”

I didn’t reply, just nodded.

I looked away, and we kept walking in silence. I was still embarrassed—the tension between us lingered.

The festival was so gorgeous it didn’t even look teen-planned—game stalls, food stands run by students, everything glowing with color. But my head was too heavy to just relax and enjoy it like everyone else.

“Think Todoroki’s in some room going over the setlist for later,” Shinsou said out of nowhere, tossing me a small smile. “Wanna swing by?” I nodded, forcing a smile back. “Cool, but let’s grab a drink first.”

~*~*~*~

Bakugo

[Uraraka]: kaaaaaat

[Uraraka]: I know ur stuck in detention cleaning the school today, but what about hanging out after?? It’d be nice for u to unwind a bit, spending all day scrubbing the school sounds awful haha

[Uraraka]: There’s this cool new karaoke place near my house! I haven’t been yet, but I’ve heard great things

[Uraraka]: And the food looks amaaaazing *-*

[Uraraka]: What u think? Let’s go let’s go let’s go let’s goooo

Oh, right.

I told her we’d hang out. ‘Cause I felt guilty and all that crap.

I sighed, wiping the sweat trickling down my forehead with my forearm as I dunked the grimy mop into the bucket. The water turned black almost instantly.

Fucking greasy-ass floor.

Good thing I didn’t run into Kirishima today. That asshole principal must’ve sent him to clean somewhere else and stuck me with the cafeteria—at least there’s that. Just thinking about that idiot breathing near me makes me twitch. Now that he’s off the team, I barely see his shitty red hair around anymore. Probably ‘cause he’s not dumb enough to cross me after everything—must still have a shred of sense in that empty head, or maybe it’s just fear of death kicking in.

I leaned my hip against a table edge, staring at her open chat on my phone, figuring out what to say. I wasn’t really up for going out with her—I’d even forgotten we’d planned it. My head’s been so far gone these past few days that…

My phone buzzed.

Deku texting me.

My heart jumped.

Since that day—when I spewed all that sappy bullshit I cringe thinking about—I stopped bugging him with messages. This was the first time he’d reached out.

My hands itched.

Something in me twisted.

[Izu(de)ku]: Hey Kacchan

[Izu(de)ku]: u good?

[Izu(de)ku]: There’s a festival at Yuei today

[Izu(de)ku]: It’s already started, actually

[Izu(de)ku]: I helped make the banner at the entrance *u*

[Izu(de)ku]: I’d love for u to see it and tell me what you think so…

[Izu(de)ku]: u coming?

My eyes widened.

I wanna go so bad.

Holy shit, I wanna go so fucking bad.

I was shaking with excitement.

Him saying he wants me to see the banner he made…

Fuck, that’s cute as hell.

I remember the first and only festival we went to together, back in May last year. Man, that was awesome. He dragged me around everywhere, grinning the whole time like a kid pointing at every koi in the lake—and there were a ton—but I loved it. His excited face was hilarious, like he’d stumbled onto a whole new planet.

He got obsessed with these koi flags people were waving around. It stuck with me, so I played some random game where they were the prize—and I won, gave ‘em to him. Not like they were expensive—I’d have bought them anyway—but it was fun seeing him cheer me on, and even better when I handed them over. His eyes blew up huge, and he shook his head like crazy, flailing like I’d just given him some insane, priceless jewel or something.

I don’t think I’d ever seen him that happy. I remember looking at him and thinking, So he can smile that big, huh?

Made a mental note to make days like that happen more often.

But time passed, and… we never hit another festival together.

I wanna grab back those moments we lost and tie up the thread that came loose.

Without even thinking, I opened Uraraka’s chat and typed fast:

[Bakugo]: can’t today, sorry

[Bakugo]: already got plans

[Bakugo]: we’ll figure out another day

I was about to toss the phone aside and get back to cleaning, but—surprise—she replied instantly. Jumped a little.

[Uraraka]: Oh, got it

[Uraraka]: What plans?

[Bakugo]: nothing big

Didn’t feel like explaining—definitely not mentioning Deku. I know she said all that crap she spewed when we fought was heat-of-the-moment and she didn’t mean it, but still, bringing up his name feels like flipping a switch with her. I’d rather not risk it—more to save myself the hassle than anything else.

[Uraraka]: oh, okay

[Uraraka]: what about tomorrow?

Tomorrow? Shit, I never said 'tomorrow'.

[Bakugo]: dunno, we’ll see later

[Uraraka]: Wow, you sound so excited to hang out haha >.<

[Uraraka]: It’s fine, I’ll figure something out and let you know

Up until a few days ago, I was confused about how I felt about her. But every day, it’s getting clearer.

Instead of pinning down what I feel for her, I started thinking about stuff like—how often do I think about Uraraka in a day? When you like someone… I mean, when you really like someone, your thoughts are, what, at least 90% about them, right? I thought about her a lot at first, but…

Now I realize every time I think of her, it’s tied to Izuku somehow—or it’s just robotic, me questioning my feelings for her, like right now. It’s not natural or real anymore. Unlike the early days, I don’t think about her smile, how cool she is, or how I wanna spend more time with her, learn more about her.

Actually, I noticed those kinds of thoughts… they fit more with how I think about Izuku than her.

Admitting that threw me off, ‘cause while I knew I missed him and all, it hit different realizing I think about him almost like I did with Uraraka at the start. My head kinda exploded figuring out what that meant.

But it’s just ‘cause Izuku and I aren’t the same anymore. We’ve changed with each other, and our friendship’s changed. So it’s normal to miss him and think about him more, right? Doesn’t mean anything.

So what if I’m thinking about him all the damn time now? So what if my heart acts weird when he texts me… or I feel like shit when I see him cry… or I really wanna see him and his smile and…

Well, that’s ‘cause his smile’s fucking gorgeous, so it’s not weird I’d think about it, right? I like looking at nice things—everyone does—and…

I mean, feeling this way about him isn’t totally new. It’s always been like this. I’ve always felt antsy around him, kinda off when he looks at me, and…

So what if, before bed, I think about that random-ass kiss he stole from me?

That’s normal, isn’t it?

‘Cause it was funny, right? Imagine your best friend kissing you—fucking wild, huh? Totally normal to keep replaying that shit and… it’ll definitely be something we laugh about later and…

Yeah, it’s normal. Totally.

Sure, I don’t feel this way about my other friends. But that’s probably ‘cause Izuku’s really my friend. My real friend. I’ve never had a true friendship like this, so… this must be how it feels, right?

Yeah, for sure.

Anyway, I got off track. Where was I…? Oh, right, Uraraka…

I don’t think about her like I used to—that’s a fact.

I’ve started noticing stuff about her that pisses me off. That’s natural—being into someone doesn’t mean loving everything about them; it’s liking them so much even their flaws are bearable. But here’s the thing: even her little quirks are getting hard to stomach. I shouldn’t be spotting flaws as easily as I did her good points. Even the way she tucks that damn strand behind her ear bugs the shit outta me now—irritating enough I have to stop myself from making some asshole remark, like that time on the phone.

Even how she’s looks happy all the damn time gets on my nerves.

I’ve been fixating more on the small stuff that annoys me than what drew me to her—and I can’t even remember what that was.

I don’t even know if I ever really liked her. Shit, maybe it was just a phase.

It started when we met. It hit me hard when she said she didn’t know me—same vibe as when I met Izuku. I wanted to know more about her, what she liked, all that. She seemed different, and that pulled me in, but over time, she started treating me like everyone else does.

Or maybe she always did, and I just didn’t see it.

This whole “always there for me no matter what” thing pisses me off. She never disagrees or pushes back. The clinginess bugs me too. She’s like a damn dog wagging its tail every time she sees me—I know that’s a dick thing to say, but I can’t help thinking it.

When she touches me or does something basic like texting, it’s almost like… I dunno, it feels like anyone could do it. Nothing special anymore, no nerves or excitement. Especially after that day she came to my place—I was so floored by how she acted, I realized I don’t really know her. And the funniest part? That doesn’t bug me. I’m not curious, not dying to figure her out or help her… I just don’t care.

I think… nothing about her moves me anymore. No butterflies, nothing. Honestly, I kinda dread seeing her notifications now. What kinda fucked-up world is it where you’re bummed out by a text from someone you’re supposed to like? I just reply half-assed, not even thinking. Now that I’m thinking about it… I answer her texts the same way I do my teammates, and that’s weird as fuck.

But I feel different when she smiles. It’s good and bad at the same time.

‘Cause her smile reminds me of Deku’s—though it’s not as pretty. How her eyes scrunch up when she grins big reminds me of his too. Sometimes she weirdly feels like him. I didn’t compare them much at first, but… lately, these thoughts have been messing with me hard and… these thoughts…

Maybe they’ve always been there, and I just didn’t notice.

I know, it’s… fucked up.

Why the hell would you compare the person you’re into with your damn same-sex best friend, right?

Doesn’t make much sense to me either.

I told Uraraka it’s dumb to compare herself to Deku, and here I am, doing it like a fucking hypocrite.

But I think it’s just ‘cause I admire Deku so damn much.

That’s gotta be it.

And these comparisons are so obvious I get embarrassed as hell when I catch myself doing it again—looks, personality, everything.

But every time I compare, she loses.

It happens more than I’d like lately, and in those moments, lost in these dumbass thoughts, I end up staring at her too long. She gets shy, looks away, tucks that strand behind her ear with nervous laughs and whatever else, and I just look like a creep staring nonstop.

‘Cause looking at her now is the closest I get to feeling near Izuku again.

That’s why it took me so long to figure out how I feel about her—why I was so confused. ‘Cause sometimes she reminds me of Deku. And I like remembering him, thinking about him, since we barely see each other now…

But it’s not the same, never will be. Uraraka’s not Izuku. Similarities or not, they’re completely different—always have been.

It’s not that she’s like Deku. It’s me trying to force Deku into her.

And why the fuck do I do that?! Like, WHAT THE HELL? Bet the last thing most guys want is to see their damn male best friend in their girlfriend. Especially one they see as a brother.

So why do I keep looking for Deku in her?

Shit, maybe…

Just maybe…

I know this is batshit crazy to say, but…

If Izuku were a girl, would I be in love with him?

I slapped myself hard right then—the sting hit like I’d smashed a scalding pan against my face. Hurt like hell.

What the FUCK kinda thought was that?! Shit, that was messed up. It’s almost like… haha, fuck, it’s almost like I’ve got a thing for Deku or something…

Hahaha.

No. Fuck no.

As if.

No way. We’ve been friends forever—this never even crossed my mind. I’ve never felt attraction or desire for him, none of that shit I feel with girls. Plus, there’s no way I’d suddenly catch feelings for him out of nowhere after all this time, without even noticing. If I were into him, I’d know right off the bat, right? Wouldn’t need to rack my brain over it. My feelings for him have always been pure as hell—he’s practically my brother!

Yeah, no. Doesn’t add up. Of course I don’t like him that way—that’s insane…

Honestly, the idea of liking a guy doesn’t even freak me out. But I don’t! Never have, never been curious, and if I were, I’d know, right?

What actually scares me is not understanding what’s going on in my head.

Alright, fine, let’s play with hypotheticals. Hypothetically, if this were possible… when would I have started liking him like that? Since I saw him with Kirishima? That really fucked me up… but it doesn’t track. ‘Cause if it was more than just worry—if it was jealousy or something—that’d mean I’d have started liking Izuku before that. Since when, then? Since…

Since…

Always?

Haha.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Hilarious.

No one’s that fucking stupid.

How could I like someone for years and mistake it for friendship? Never even had a single… I dunno, intimate thought about Deku. Like, that urge to kiss him that…

I swallowed hard.

Okay, sure, his lips were soft as hell… and they’re nice-looking too, but…

Now the other side of my face got a slap.

I shook my head to ditch these crazy thoughts, huffing loud.

Fuck, I’m losing it.

Anyway, enough of this bullshit. I owe Uraraka a hangout either way. And when we do, I’ll tell her I’m done. I’d be cool with being someone she talks to if she wants—she said she feels lonely, not even close to her best friends, and I still like her as a person, she’s cool and all. I wouldn’t mind a friendship, but that’s it. I don’t stick with a girl just ‘cause she’s hot—especially if she’s got feelings I don’t return. I’m not after something casual either, and looks alone don’t get me going.

[Bakugo]: cool, see u later

[Uraraka]: Good luck w detention, badboy ;P haha

[Bakugo]: lol

Typed that 'lol' with the blankest face ever.

It crossed my mind for a sec to invite her to the festival Deku mentioned—not ‘cause I wanted her there, but to kill two birds with one stone. Then I wouldn’t have to hang out alone with her later, and I’d get to see Deku. But I know she’d cling to me, and I don’t want her getting in the way with him. In her head, it’d be a date—it’s not what I’m thinking. I can see her dragging me around, barely letting me talk to him. Plus, a festival’s not the best spot to dump someone, anyway.

I pocketed my phone, grabbed the mop I’d ditched, and got back to scrubbing the cafeteria, trying to shove these thoughts aside and focus—felt like the more I cleaned, the bigger the floor got. The principal said to make it spotless, but really, he just cared I served the detention time. Still, to kill time and distract myself from weird shit, I was putting in effort.

Liking Deku…

Tch.

I laughed, my arms tensing as I scrubbed harder.

What a joke.

~*~

After three more hours scrubbing that empty cafeteria on a Saturday under a blistering sun, I finally ditched that hellhole and headed to Yuei’s festival to find Deku.

I know he’ll be with his friends, but that doesn’t bug me. Actually, I’m kinda relieved I get a chance to reintroduce myself to them, ‘cause I know I didn’t exactly leave a stellar first impression. I won’t lie—I’m still a bit jealous of these new friends of his, but only ‘cause they’re the ones soaking up all his attention now. Still, if I want things with him to go back to how they were, I’ve gotta swallow that unease and act like everything’s fine. Especially now that he’s doing good, I don’t wanna be the one dragging him down. Sulking and acting pissy won’t help me get closer to him—especially since he’s at a new school and we’ll see each other way less. So… yeah, I’ve gotta take a deep breath, choke down the jealousy, and chill.

I wanna make it clear: it’s not Deku making friends that bothers me. Fuck, all I’ve ever wanted is for him to be surrounded by people who love him—he deserves it more than anyone. That’s why I’ve always pushed him to make friends and shit, even though I don’t have many myself and don’t really care to.

But… he’s out there making friends, and it feels like he’s forgetting me. I won’t bullshit—when I showed up at his place that day and saw those two, I felt kinda… tossed aside. Still do, honestly, but I’m trying to shove that thought away.

It’s like I was useful for a while, and now I’m not needed anymore.

Okay, okay, I told myself I’d stop thinking like that, but…

Yeah. It’s tough.

I keep telling myself it’s all in my head. I wanna believe what Deku said when I went to his place, but… it’s not that I don’t believe him, it’s just hard not to feel insecure. I’m scared the gap between us is gonna keep growing and growing and…

That he’ll find a new best friend.

That Todoroki guy seems cool. Shinsou too. And good for them, that’s awesome, ‘cause that’s what Izuku deserves—I wouldn’t wish anything less for him…

But… he’s there, surrounded by cool people, and I’m… here.

Without him.

It’s hard to take. And it’s hard not to feel like shit for being bothered by it when he’s finally where he’s always wanted to be. Izuku doesn’t deserve to deal with my damn jealousy after everything he’s been through. I wish I could say I’m just happy he’s happy.

I’d love to be that evolved, but…

I’m not.

What I can do, though, is fake it.

‘Cause he’s happy, and I don’t wanna ruin that. I don’t want him worrying about how I feel—the last thing I want is to be the reason he’s stressed. I’m the one who’s gotta handle my own bullshit alone.

It’d be too selfish, after everything, to make him feel bad just ‘cause I do.

I just want him happy, and if that means he’ll have people in his life more important than me, then…

Fine. I’ll have to deal with it.

Fine my ass, I definitely can’t be that evolved.

When I got to the festival, first thing I did was look up. Deku mentioned in his texts he’d helped make the event banner and… damn. The grin I let out was so dumb I had to check around to see if anyone was staring weird—not that I give a shit.

The banner was incredible, like everything he touches. I was so… I dunno, proud seeing it. Proud of the banner and… proud of Deku.

Might sound cheesy, but looking at that colorful banner—covered in drawings from end to end, “Moon Festival” bold and bright—made me think Izuku’s in the right place. His art was never appreciated at our school, never displayed like this. He was always alone in the art room, and I felt like my company wasn’t enough—he needed people who shared his passion, not just watched like I did. Here at Yuei, I could see there were more amazing people like him.

My chest warmed up.

I pictured how happy he must feel—fulfilled, welcomed. He’s finally somewhere that gets him.

I dropped my head.

And I won’t be part of it with him. I can’t be there for the happiest moment of his life.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, pushing the spiky bangs back.

I can’t leave Shigaraki. Even if I transferred to Yuei and joined the basketball team, I wouldn’t be captain—they’ve already got one, and that matters big-time to college scouts. Plus, I know my team, we’ve got our plays locked in. Ditching them now would be a dick move, even if we’re not tight… Point is, throwing away everything I’ve built at that shithole to start over somewhere else—fuck, that’s rough. And we’re near the end anyway, year’s almost done… Okay, okay, I can handle it. If we weren’t halfway through, I’d bounce for sure, but shit, now that we’re this far…

Next weekend’s championship game is a semifinal qualifier—soon it’ll be the finals. Biggest game I’ve ever played, tons of college scouts watching. Being captain of the winning team will put all eyes on me.

I can’t toss that away, no matter how much I want to.

It’s nuts I’m even considering ditching it all for one person, but…

I can’t. Deku doesn’t know, ‘cause I don’t tell him my problems. He’s got enough on his plate—worse stuff, no comparison. I’ve got no right to dump mine on him.

He thinks my folks are loaded, that my future’s set, but it’s not like that.

My parents’ marriage isn’t the perfect picture everyone sees. They’re holding on, but I know they don’t love each other anymore. They’re just sticking it out ‘cause they run a business together—and that business is tanking. They had to sell furniture, both cars, to pay off debts. They can’t afford a good college for me anymore—that’s why I need the scholarship. I’ve been looking for a part-time job to lean on them less, but it’s hard finding one that fits with school and basketball.

So I’ve gotta stick it out at that shitty school ‘til the end.

[Bakugo]: yo nerd i’m here

[Bakugo]: moon festival in the damn daytime

[Bakugo]: with a fuckin brutal sun

[Bakugo]: dig the twist

I laughed imagining him fumbling to explain.

Phone in hand, I stepped into the festival.

All those colorful decorations, fairy lights strung everywhere waiting for night to glow over us, people laughing and having fun, darting around with tasty-smelling food from the stalls—it hit me I was starving and hadn’t even noticed…

I heard birds chirping, lively voices cutting through the music playing somewhere, even the rustle of tree leaves reaching my ears. It was all just so… good. Hard to explain, but… as hyped and fun as everything was, I felt this unreal calm and peace, almost like last year’s festival…

Just missing Deku.

[Bakugo]: where u at nerd?

[Bakugo]: wanna tell u what i think of the banner face-to-face

Looking around for him, I realized no one was staring at me. No one whispering to their friends or tracking my every move.

Weird.

I’d forgotten what it’s like not having a thousand curious eyes on me all the time.

It was amazing being at a school where no one knew me. For once, I wasn’t the center of attention—nobody cared I was there. I could do whatever and no one would remember.

Not that I give a fuck what people say about me, but it’s annoying being watched nonstop, feeling like I can’t even breathe in peace. I’m a lone-wolf kinda guy—I like my space—so I really have to rein it in sometimes not to snap. Think I’ve built up some patience thanks to it, though I’m still miles from zen.

Funny to think—if I feel this weighed down just being a popular high school athlete, imagine singers, actors, real famous people? Holy shit, what a nightmare. I couldn’t handle it. But I didn’t ask for this attention. I just wanted to play basketball, and somehow I got popular too. I’m not super social or outgoing, and I’m not the only good-looking guy at school, so I don’t get it, but… whatever, it is what it is.

Izuku didn’t reply. I called—went to voicemail. So I decided to wander and check out the festival. Might bump into him eventually.

~*~*~*~

Midoriya

“Aren’t gonna enjoy the festival?” I asked as I stepped into the old room where the band practiced, Hitoshi trailing me with his arms crossed, leaning his side against the doorframe. “What’re you up to? Practicing again?”

Todoroki looked up when he heard my voice, pulling his eyes off the blue guitar in his hands.

He let out a nasal laugh as I walked closer, holding the soda can Hitoshi had bought me in one hand—despite me saying a bunch of times he didn’t need to.

This guy’s seriously stubborn.

Not that I mind it a little.

“I’m not super confident about my solo in the new song, so I’m just running through it…” he said, sprawled casually across the old table.

I heard Shinsou huff, stepping up beside me.

“His solo’s perfect, Izuku—don’t fall for that fake modesty,” I laughed at the bored-looking guy’s comment while Shouto rolled his eyes and strummed the guitar again, though he couldn’t hide a faint smile. “Todoroki’s a perfectionist, and it gets annoying sometimes.”

“Wanting our show to be perfect is annoying?” Shouto raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Hitoshi’s deadpan reply cracked us both up. “It’s annoying you’re holed up in this stinky, stuffy room while there’s a blazing sun out there. And I’m not even into tanning or whatever.” He walked over to his friend, slumping over a chair’s backrest, forearms propped on it. “You’ve probably got two huge pizza stains under your arms now, man. You’ll scare off the chicks with that stench.” His tone and face didn’t shift, but the sarcasm was thick—Hitoshi Shinsou would never say “chicks” unironically.

Shouto raised his arms, and yeah, he was sweating like a pig under that white short-sleeve button-up. You know, those summer in Italy vibes?

I covered my mouth, but the laugh slipped out anyway.

“Guess I’ll need a new shirt,” Todoroki concluded the obvious, making me laugh outright now.

“Lucky for you, I’ve got some in my locker down at the locker room. I’ll see if I can dig up the ugliest one,” Hitoshi straightened up and headed for the door.

“See, Izuku?” Shouto shot me a smirk. “Under that cold-blooded killer face, Shinsou’s got a beating heart.”

“I said I’d grab the ugliest one,” Hitoshi fired back, and though we couldn’t see it, we knew his face was blank as ever.

“No way you’ve got an ugly one, buddy—your taste is flawless,” Shouto teased, tossing him a playful wink Hitoshi didn’t catch as he walked out.

“Flattery won’t help—I’m still bringing the ugliest,” he declared, slamming the door behind him.

Todoroki and I locked eyes and burst out laughing.

“Coming from Shinsou, I can see him bringing back something with unicorns and rainbows all over it,” Shouto said, watching me hop onto the table beside him with a little boost.

“Really? Judging by his style, doesn’t seem like he’d own anything like that.”

“Shinsou can be full of surprises. He’s a guy with weird tastes—you wouldn’t get it,” I laughed at his jab, and he set the guitar aside, turning toward me a bit more. “So, you guys looking for me?”

“Didn’t need to look—Shinsou figured you’d be here, so we came straight over,” I said, tucking both hands between my thighs.

“Yeah, unlike him, I’m not exactly unpredictable.”

We chuckled together.

A weird silence settled into that stuffy room, lit only by the sunlight spilling through the lone window.

It was awkward ‘cause I could feel Todoroki’s eyes glued to me. And he wasn’t saying a word! I was about to lose it.

And since we were literally sitting side by side, thighs almost brushing, it was even weirder.

I turned to face him—something I’d been avoiding—silently asking, So, you just gonna sit there staring?

But I blushed when he didn’t even try to hide it, even after getting caught. Then I realized maybe he wanted me to catch him. I laughed to cover my embarrassment, looking straight ahead again.

“What’s up?” I asked between chuckles, feeling more flustered by those intense two-toned eyes locked on me. “Am I sweaty too?” I tried a joke to lighten things up, expecting him to play along, but nope—not quite.

“No, it’s just…” I could feel him blatantly checking me out, top to bottom. I shivered, swallowing hard. “You’re… really good-looking today. Like, really.”

My eyes widened, heart skipping a beat.

I instantly dropped my gaze to my clothes, trying to figure out what he found so great. To hide how thrown I was by that blunt compliment, I laughed, adjusting the round glasses slipping down my nose.

“N-not that you aren’t usually, but…”

Holy crap, did I just make Todoroki Shouto stutter?

I let out another shy laugh, tucking my hands between my thighs again.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it…”

And silence again.

Goddamn.

My cheeks were burning hotter by the second, and it only made me more self-conscious ‘cause I didn’t want him seeing me like this—and he totally was, that jerk wouldn’t stop staring—all flustered over a simple compliment. But it caught me so off guard! It’s his fault for dropping stuff like that out of nowhere!!

And man, that room was way too hot—how’d he stand this sauna so long?!

He finally laughed, breaking that awkward silence.

“Sorry, guess I was kinda blunt, huh? Made you shy.”

NO SHIT, REALLY?!

“Nah, it’s cool…” COOL MY ASS, I’M SWEATING MORE NOW AND IT’S NOT JUST THIS STUPID STUFFY ROOM!!

God, how do I even react? I don’t know! I can’t handle this without looking like some virgin middle-schooler. It’s not the first time Todoroki’s complimented me, but the vibe’s totally different now that we’re alone in this deserted fifth-floor room, far from the festival crowd—though we could still hear the voices, laughs, and loud music drifting through the window. Plus the tension in the air.

I was just in light-wash denim shorts and a white shirt that said I went to Mount Fuji and thought of you—a gift from some distant uncle. Definitely not my best outfit, but it was breezy and comfy. And my red All Stars—Kacchan’s birthday gift—I wear those everywhere, no wonder they’re looking beat-up.

“Well, that’s a shame. Guess no one’ll notice me next to you—you’re a total threat,” he teased, no sarcasm in his tone.

“Look who’s talking—you’re the one all dressed up and sharp!” I finally managed a natural comeback, scanning him head to toe to try flipping the embarrassment back on him. He just laughed—probably amused at me trying to shift the spotlight. “I literally grabbed whatever from my closet.”

“And still, you’re way better-looking than me, the sweaty pizza guy,” he raised his arms to show off the sweat, making me crack up at his goofiness. “Man, when’re you gonna stop stealing my thunder? Not cool,” he joked again, nudging my shoulder lightly with his, sending me into more nervous giggles—not ‘cause it was funny, but ‘cause I was freaking out!

Help, I’m gonna pass out. No, I am passing out! Between this heat and this hot guy flirting with me like I’ve got any game—I suck at this, damn it!!

“Ugh, stop, seriously…” I said through laughs, waving a hand like I wanted to drop it. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that joking’s the best way to dodge a topic—but my brain was out of jokes, and I was defenseless! “Uh, wonder if Shinsou’s gonna take long?” My last-ditch escape card—I prayed Shouto would roll with it, or I’d bolt for sure.

I started swinging my legs back and forth—probably showing how antsy I was. My eyes darted around the room—not much to look at—anywhere but the stupidly gorgeous guy next to me.

“Dunno…” I felt his thigh brush mine, denim grazing denim lightly. I’m not kidding, I’m actually gonna faint—my blood pressure’s tanking. “Why? Being alone with me make you nervous?”

OH MY GOD!!

Eyes bugging out, I laughed.

Pure nerves and desperation.

“Huh? Why would I be nervous…?” I shot back, too chicken to look at him. But I knew he was probably loving how my cheeks turned some inhuman shade of red. “It’s not like… I dunno, you’re gonna stab me or something…”

“Yeah, that’s not one of my hobbies,” he said, and I laughed again—just trying to steer this somewhere light and fun. But apparently, not even turning into a clown and doing flips would kill the sexual tension building up. “But you think killing you is the only thing I could do to you?”

BUDDY, I’M GONNA DROP DEAD EITHER WAY, EVEN IF YOU DON’T KILL ME!!

Help, where’s the air? I need air.

Fucking stuffy room.

“W-what do you mean…?” Another laugh slipped out as I scratched the back of my neck.

SHIT, I SHOULDN’T HAVE ASKED!! Now he’s got more ammo to say stuff that’s killing me with embarrassment—oh my God! How do I dodge this without looking totally panicked? If I didn’t already, right?

I still hadn’t dared turn to face him. I knew he wasn’t looking away, and soon I’d be naked under that stare.

“Izuku,” he laughed too, but unlike my awkward, mortified giggles, his had something else—something that sent chills from my toes to my scalp ‘cause I was running out of escapes. “You’re really cute,” and his hand landed on my thigh. It was calm, light, but felt like a damn ton.

I’M GONNA DIIIIIIIE!!!

I tried sneaking in a deep breath to calm down—my heart was pounding so hard I legit worried Shouto could hear it!!

Even through my shorts, his hand was so, so warm and…

I clamped my lips shut, eyes wide, freezing as he slid closer, sneaky-like, planting his other hand on the table behind me. His shirt grazed my arm, his breath soft against the curve of my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, rubbing my hands hard between my clenched thighs.

“I like how nervous you get, but… it’s hard to tell if it’s ‘cause you want this or if you’re just scared shitless,” his hand slid slowly from my thigh to my knee, giving it a light squeeze. His breath tickled my skin as he spoke. I dropped my head, sucking in another shaky breath. “If you don’t want it, just slap me, okay?”

JUST a slap?

What do you mean just a slap?!

I could never slap him, I…!

Then his lips brushed my neck, slow, like he was testing if I’d bolt. It was gentle, barely there—I couldn’t move or make a sound. So he kept going, sliding lower, pressing a firmer kiss where my neck meets my shoulder. I had to clamp my lips tight to stifle a gasp.

I shut my eyes—didn’t know where to look—my eyelids trembling.

“Look at me, Izuku.”

NO FUCKING WAY!!

“Midoriya,” his voice was calmer than usual, almost a whisper… sexy. “Will you look if I say please? You wouldn’t be that rude, right?” he teased, but I was such a nervous wreck nothing could chill me out. I wasn’t this bad my first time kissing.

Maybe ‘cause I’ve been into Todoroki for a while, and Kirishima was just a random hookup outta nowhere.

His hand left my thigh, brushing my chin gently, turning my face toward him.

But I kept my eyes squeezed shut. Tight.

He chuckled, his warm breath hitting my lips.

“Okay, I’ve done 50% of the work—you just gotta open your eyes.”

“W-why do you want me to—”

“‘Cause I wanna look at you properly,” he cut in, firm.

God, I’ve only kissed one person ever! What if he’s expecting too much and gets let down? What if he hates it and pushes me away? I’ll never face him again…!

Nibbling my lower lip, I cracked my eyes open slow. When I met his—way closer than I thought—I jolted wide-eyed.

And he smiled, getting what he wanted.

My eyes darted—left eye, right eye, both?

Todoroki laughed at my obvious panic. His fingers slid from my chin to my ear, threading gently through my thick hair. I closed my eyes for a sec, the feeling so nice, but snapped them back to him—calmer now, though still far from relaxed.

He leaned closer, eyes still locked on mine. His nose brushed mine, and I sighed, biting my lips in pure anxiety—racing through me to my fingertips, nails digging into my thigh.

His moves were slow, deliberate, every action dripping with calm—even his breathing. Like he was scared a sudden move would spook me.

"I..." I swallowed hard, my eyes still wide. "Can I close my eyes now?"

He laughed.

I didn’t get it—did I say something funny?

He’d asked me to open my eyes, right? I wasn’t sure how long he wanted me to keep them open...

"You can."

But this time, Shouto didn’t go slow when he crashed his head against mine and pressed his lips to my own. It was just a peck, but it was firm. His lips weren’t fully closed—I could feel his warm breath slipping in, and it unraveled me so much that my eyelids, which snapped shut the moment his mouth touched mine, fluttered.

The grip of my nails on my own skin softened, and my tense shoulders started to relax.

His hand dug deeper into my hair as he tilted his head the other way, trapping my lower lip between his. I couldn’t hold back a sigh, and my hands darted to his shoulders, palms flat on either side, occasionally squeezing the light fabric of his shirt. It was so thin I could perfectly feel the heat of his skin radiating out, setting my fingertips ablaze—it felt too good.

I think that was the reaction he’d been waiting for, because it set him loose. His hand, which had been resting on the table behind me, shot straight to my neck, squeezing just a little. His fingers were warm and slightly calloused—probably from all that guitar playing—creating a delicious friction against my skin. The surprise of it made me part my lips, and his tongue slipped right in.

God, it was so good.

I melted instantly. As his tongue tangled with mine, hungry and deliberate, Todoroki started leaning in closer—maybe without even realizing it—and to keep from falling back onto the table, I pulled my hands off him and slapped them onto the surface behind me for support.

What started as a slow, almost innocent kiss exploded into something I hadn’t expected within seconds. The way he kissed me now, I started to think—maybe a little arrogantly—that it felt like he’d been waiting for this for a long time.

And in a way, so had I.

Oh yeah, Todoroki knows how to make someone feel good. And not just with words.

He kissed me with such hunger that I’d say my self-esteem went up a notch.

His tongue was too warm, too soft. He’d suck on mine slow one moment, hard the next, making me sigh. It was so good—any nerves I’d had before were gone, because all I could think about was kissing him more and more. Our heads wouldn’t stay still, tilting side to side, and he did a damn good job leading me. His hand gripped my neck in a way that completely undid me, but it was when he wrapped both arms around my waist and yanked me hard against his body that I—already burning up inside and out—let out a moan. I was so lost in it that I didn’t even stop to think how embarrassing that sound was.

"Damn it, don’t do that..." he whispered, lips still glued to mine. He wouldn’t even pull away to talk, so eager to dive back in that the last syllable barely came out before his wet tongue was back in my mouth. All you could hear in that room were gasps and ragged breaths—the festival music didn’t even reach my ears anymore, like we were in our own little world.

Unlike him, who seemed like he never needed air, I pressed my hands to his shoulders to gently push him back. He didn’t protest, but he broke the kiss with this eager look that practically screamed catch your breath quick ‘cause I’m not done, still so close our noses brushed.

"M-my God, I..." I tried to say, panting, my chest heaving fast and my heart pounding like crazy. "That was... it was..."

"I know, it was for me too," he said, voice low and rough and drawn out, his hands now cradling my face. He was breathing hard too, but not as much as me. It felt like I’d run a marathon from South Korea to here—I don’t even have the stamina to kiss, oh my God! "You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted this..." he murmured between firm pecks on my lips. His forehead rested against mine, and my eyes widened slightly at the gorgeous smile he flashed. "I’d skip playing with the band tonight just to stay here kissing you."

I let out a little laugh, my arms wrapping around his shoulders in a hug.

"Yeah, right. As if"

"Doubt me?" He smirked, lopsided. Biting my lower lip, I looked away with a smile. "Don’t do that," he whispered suddenly, his eyes—darker now—locked on my lips.

"What?" I didn’t get it. Did I do something wrong?

"That thing you just did." With both hands still gripping the sides of my face, he slowly dragged his thumb across my lower lip, pulling it down until my mouth opened, then let go. He looked mesmerized by it, and my cheeks flushed. The way he stared at my mouth felt almost obscene. "Every time you bite that lip, it drives me crazy. I held back pretty well so far, but now that I’ve had a taste..." Then he bit my lower lip himself, tugging it slowly before letting go. My eyes shut on their own, eyelids trembling. Like a spell, my head moved toward his, waiting for the kiss. "From now on, every time you bite your lip, I’m taking it as an invitation. So I’d be careful if I were you."

"And I’d talk less if I were you..."

Silence.

After a few seconds waiting for a kiss that didn’t come, I opened my eyes fully, realizing the dumb thing I’d just said. My cheeks burned when I saw that wide grin and excited look on his face.

"Got it, thanks for the tip."

And he came at me three times more fired up than before—so fast I didn’t even have time to brace my hands on the table. He was already knocking me back, falling on top of me—careful not to crush me with his weight—invading my mouth in a way that left me no choice but to moan.

If he weren’t pinning me to the table like that, I’d have jumped when I felt his hand squeeze the flesh at my waist, then slip under my shirt half a second later, gripping the same spot skin-to-skin.

An electric jolt shot through every part of my body, my feet kicking without me even controlling it. My arms, already around his neck, tightened their hold, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss—if it could even get deeper than that. He dug his nails into my waist, and I could tell he didn’t want to stop there—he wanted to explore more of me. I felt his urgency, but I think he was still holding back, worried about freaking me out. I don’t blame him, but I’ll admit I wanted that hand to slide a little lower.

God, sometimes I completely lose myself in moments like this.

I was so damn caught up in it that time slipped by without me noticing.

But reality yanked us back—literally barging through the door.

"Whoa."

Todoroki and I broke the kiss in the same second, eyes wide, our attention snapping to the door where Shinsou stood, hand still on the open knob.

"You degenerates. Doing this on a table, in the middle of a school festival, with students running around everywhere." He shut the door, finally letting a faint smirk slip. "Tsk, tsk. What a terrible example, student council president."

"Oh, shut up," Shouto huffed, clearly annoyed the kiss got cut short. I’d completely forgotten Hitoshi was coming back—God, how could I be so clueless?

Todoroki climbed off me casually, like getting caught by Hitoshi didn’t faze him one bit. Me, though? Red from head to toe, I hopped off the table instantly, standing there like a scared little mouse backed into a corner.

"W-well, I... I mean, we..." I tried to come up with an excuse, but there was no excusing that. "I-it was an accident..."

"An accident? What’s that supposed to mean? He forced you?" Hitoshi asked, clearly enjoying how flustered I was. I was being a total idiot.

"N-NO!" I shot back instantly, so embarrassed I couldn’t even look him in the eye, missing the grin spreading across his usually deadpan face. I felt like a kid caught by his mom doing something naughty, but I couldn’t fake a different reaction. I’m just that pathetic. "Never, of course not... Todoroki would never—"

"I can’t believe I missed this," he said, this time looking straight at Shouto, who was standing next to me. My eyes widened. "You really piss me off sometimes."

Todoroki chuckled, brushing his bangs back with his hand.

"My ego wouldn’t let me share his first reactions with anyone else. Sorry."

What?

Why are they talking like...

"Bullshit." He tossed the shirt he’d gone to grab at him. It was black with some kind of print on the front, though Shouto didn’t bother checking it out. "Thought I made it clear you weren’t supposed to do anything without me."

"Couldn’t hold back, man."

"Hey, hey, hey." I stepped between them. They were talking like I wasn’t even there—what the hell? "What are you guys going on about?" I looked back and forth between them, totally baffled by this nonsense. "You know, I’m starting to feel like a piece of meat here."

"No, no. It’s not like that. Not even close," Todoroki said quickly, stepping toward me and grabbing my face to make me look at him. "It’s just... we both really like you." Hitoshi crossed his arms and leaned against the wall by the door, his purple eyes fixed on me, watching my every move. "And... if you’re up for it..." Shouto’s hands slid from my face to my shoulders. He spoke slowly, carefully, like he was scared I’d bolt any second. "We..." He hesitated, nervous about how I’d react if he finished. "We want to, you know, be with you."

My already wide eyes nearly popped out of my head.

Huh?

"What?" My confused gaze bounced between their faces. Todoroki’s showed fear of rejection. Shinsou’s? I couldn’t read a damn thing. "You mean... like... be with both of you?" I swallowed hard. "Like... at the same... time?"

Silence.

But the way they stared at me, faces unchanged, told me I’d hit the nail on the head.

Todoroki pressed his lips together and, cautiously, finally said, "Yeah."

And I guess to keep me from feeling pressured, he let go of me, stepping back a little.

"But we figured it might be... weird for you," Hitoshi added. "So we’ll take it slow. However you want. It doesn’t have to be, you know, both of us at once. Not until you’re comfortable."

Okay.

That was definitely a shock.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this... speechless before. I was floored.

Shouto, probably getting anxious at my silence, let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Your silence is kinda killing me. Say something, even if it’s to curse us out—just say something, please."

I pressed my lips together, awkwardly clasping my hands behind my back, no clue what to say.

Did they want a yes or no right then and there? It’s not that simple—I needed to process this first!

"Um... well..." I chewed my lower lip, nervous. I couldn’t look either of them in the eye—it was too much. They just stared, dead serious. "So... you guys are already used to... doing this?"

They glanced at each other, and Hitoshi stifled a laugh. I must’ve looked so inexperienced to him.

"Well... a few times," Shouto answered. "But I can’t hook up with Shinsou without someone else involved, if that’s what you’re wondering. That’d be too weird."

"Same here," the other chimed in. "And honestly, it’s only happened with random people at parties—never saw them again after. But you..." He tilted his head slightly, staring at me. "I wasn’t planning on sharing this time, to be honest. Then Shouto showed up all excited, talking about you the day he showed you around school. And when I saw you the next day and realized it was you..." He paused, like he was replaying it in his head, then laughed. "I thought, damn. What shitty luck."

Okay, way too much info to process.

"And it doesn’t have to be both of us if you don’t want," Todoroki jumped in. "I’d be fine leaving Hitoshi out, no problem."

"Look, for the sake of our friendship, I don’t know if I’d handle it well if he picked you."

"Okay, okay, stop talking for a sec!" I threw my hands up in a stop gesture. They shut up instantly, staring at me, waiting. "I... I need to think about this. It’s a lot to take in, and I’m not used to this stuff. Even kissing is new to me, let alone a proposal like this—"

"Wait, was I your first kiss?" Shouto’s eyes lit up, suddenly thrilled at the idea. I just shook my head, embarrassed, and only then noticed Hitoshi sigh in relief.

"I’d have been so pissed at you if he said yes," he admitted to his friend.

"Oh, like you wouldn’t have done the same if you’d had the chance—"

"Oh my God, just stop talking like I’m not here!" I snapped, on the verge of losing it. There was too much swirling in my head, and their chatter wasn’t helping me think.

"Sorry," they said in unison, no hesitation.

I sighed, leaning my hip against the table.

I looked up at them. First at Todoroki, closer to me—though a few feet away now—then at Shinsou, propped against the wall across the room.

I bit my lower lip, thinking, thinking, thinking.

Hm... well...

Sure, I was caught off guard, and it was a huge shock, but now that I’m stopping to think...

It’s not such a bad idea.

I mean, it’s not like I’m planning some deep relationship with either of them—I’ve got my thing for Kacchan, whether he feels the same or not. I’m not looking to get serious with anyone until I get over that first. And they don’t seem to want anything serious with me either, or they wouldn’t suggest this. They don’t strike me as the type for a throuple—they just said they can’t hook up without a third person, so it’s not romantic between them. It feels more... physical.

So... yeah...

What’s the harm in having a little fun, right?

They both attract me—I’ve known that from the start.

Of course, the idea of getting with two people... um... at the same time... kinda freaks me out. And makes me insecure. It’s double everything—even the sensations. I’ve read fanfics and comics about this stuff. You’d need to be super experienced to handle it, but they’ve clearly figured out I’m not that guy, and they seem fine with it. It’s a lot for me—I never imagined doing something like this in a million years and...

Wait.

They’re not planning to... have sex with me, are they?

Like, sex meaning... both of them at once and...

No way.

No freaking way.

When Kirishima tried just a finger, I freaked out. Two dicks? I’d ascend to another plane of existence.

Not happening.

"We won’t do anything you don’t want," Shouto said out of nowhere. My face must’ve looked terrified while I was lost in thought. "You can trust us." He took a step forward, his eyes soft and almost pleading. "No need to be scared. And if you’re worried about not knowing what to do, we... well..." He glanced back at Hitoshi for a second before looking at me again. "We’ll show you how it’s done."

He wasn’t trying to seduce me—he just wanted me to feel safe—but I couldn’t stop my body from trembling. And it wasn’t a bad feeling. Not at all. I’d even say I got a little... excited.

I felt at ease with them. There was something about Kirishima that never let me fully relax, at least not when he tried pushing things further. But with Todoroki and Hitoshi... I’m comfortable around both, even in this empty room with the door shut, where they could just pounce if they wanted.

But they were keeping their distance, waiting for my answer, not trying to sway me with touches or anything. I just...

I wasn’t scared of them at all.

My only fear was about me. The fear of not being enough for them. Shouto said they’d teach me, but what if it doesn’t work? What if I freeze up and can’t go through with it, like with Kirishima? What if they’re expecting too much and I let them down? I don’t want to ruin our friendship—something I had to switch schools to find—all for a bit of pleasure...

But...

Ah...

I really want to feel that pleasure with them.

Even though I’m crazy embarrassed and definitely insecure as hell, it feels too stupid to just let this chance slip away.

"Okay, now I’m the one getting nervous," Hitoshi’s voice cut through the room suddenly. Lost in my head, I’d been oblivious to how tense they must’ve been in that dead silence, broken only by the faint music and voices from outside. They were probably agonizing, staring at me, waiting for an answer. "If you need time to think... that’s fine. You don’t have to say anything now. We can just... go back to the festival and drop this if you want."

"N-no, I..." I started, head still half-lowered, not sure how to bring it up. I’m not blunt like them. Shifting my weight from one foot to the other, I blushed hard and looked up at them from under my lashes. "Is there... any chance someone might show up here?" My voice was so quiet that if we were closer to the ground floor, the music would’ve drowned it out.

I saw surprise flash across both their faces, and they exchanged a quick glance.

"No, no way," Shouto replied instantly, eager. "Nobody comes to this room, especially with the festival going on downstairs."

"Yeah, totally," Hitoshi backed him up, pushing off the door. "This room’s basically invisible to the rest of the school—completely abandoned."

"Hm..." I looked down again, biting my lip, nervous. I leaned my hip against the table’s edge and stared at the two of them, standing still in the middle of the room, waiting for whatever I’d say next.

The sun was slowly touching less and less of the floor.

God, I can’t believe I’m doing this.

"And... how do you guys usually, you know..." My whole face was on fire. I wanted to bury my head somewhere because, damn, I was mortified. "Do this?"

What was so funny about my question that made them laugh like that?

"There’s no rule," Shouto said, pulling his hand from his mouth after failing to stifle his laugh.

"It’s not like a cake recipe—it just... happens, you know?" Hitoshi stepped closer now. He stopped in front of me, not too close—I couldn’t reach him even if I stretched. "But don’t worry about it. You’ll see, it’ll all flow naturally. Your body will..." He took a few more steps, then stood right in front of me, calmly planting his hands on the table on either side of me, eyes locked on mine. "Speak before your brain can even think about anything." He finished, his purple gaze dropping to my lips for a moment before flicking back up to my wide eyes.

I swallowed hard, feeling the shiver those words sent racing through every part of me, hitting places I didn’t even know could feel it.

If the table weren’t pressing against the backs of my thighs, I’d have fallen over. I’m not even kidding.

My eyes roamed over his messy purple hair, then down to his half-lidded eyes, his nose, and finally landed on his mouth.

He bit his lower lip lightly.

"I’m waiting for an answer, but if you keep looking at me all cute like that, I won’t be able to take it as slow as you want."

I widened my eyes, caught red-handed checking him out, and quickly turned my face away.

The husky chuckle that slipped out of him made me blush all over again. God, I’m pathetic.

"Acting all shy like that doesn’t help much either," he said, leaning in until I felt his breath on my ear. I flinched instinctively. "Honestly, no matter what you do, it’s gonna be hard to stay calm." He whispered right by my ear, making me squeeze my eyes shut tight. "I kinda have a thing for guys like you."

"S-stop, that..." I stammered, already half-gone. I wasn’t even thinking straight anymore. Him getting so close threw me off, and then he says stuff like that...

"Stop what?" He nipped my earlobe lightly, and I had to press my lips together to keep from sighing. "Only Todoroki can?"

"No, i-it’s just..." I lifted my head a little, just enough to peek at the guy in question over Hitoshi’s shoulder. He was just watching us, arms crossed, his usual neutral look on his face. "He’s staring..."

I know I’m up for this and all, but it’s still so new to me. Just because I agreed doesn’t mean I won’t feel weird about someone watching me intently while I... do things with someone else. It’s strange! I’m not used to it!

Damn it, why did I think this was a good idea again?

Shinsou laughed.

"Yeah, he is. That’s the point, right?" His hand suddenly grabbed my jaw. "But don’t look at him—look at me." He turned my face, making Todoroki vanish from my sight, hidden behind his broad back. "I think he’s had enough of you." I shivered, staring into his eyes, which now looked so... dark. "We need to even this out, don’t we?"

"A-ah... really?" My dumb brain couldn’t come up with anything better to say.

But all my focus fell on his parted lips.

He smirked, looking pleased.

"Dead serious."

I bit my lip.

My anxious fingers twisted into the hem of my shorts, and my eyes were half-hypnotized by the way his lips moved.

"So, y-you..." I looked up at him from below, still trapping my lip between my teeth, already cringing at what I was about to say. Shinsou was obviously having fun watching me try to match him. "How’re you gonna f-fix that?"

Pff, that was ridiculous.

And I kept stuttering, which made it even worse!

Man, I was so embarrassed.

I really don’t know how to be sexy like them.

If he weren’t holding my face, I’d have turned away by now—it was too hard to look at him after saying something like that.

You could tell I was trying to play their seduction game, but I was still too green, too shy about it all to pull it off naturally. Even though this wasn’t my first time messing around with someone, it was my first time doing it with someone else watching from the sidelines—and worse, someone who’d join in later.

My heart was racing a thousand times faster than before because, on top of the nerves of almost kissing another person I really want, there was the adrenaline of there being three of us!

I’m definitely gonna lose it—I think I was way too cocky assuming I could handle this!

"Fuck," he said suddenly, his hand tightening on my jaw and yanking my face closer to his, making my eyes widen. His gaze dropped to my mouth, then flicked back up to mine, darker than ever. Those eyes, usually so bored and indifferent, caught me off guard with how alive they looked now. "I’m really gonna struggle to take it easy on you, kid."

And, pulling my face in, he closed the tiny gap between us.

Unlike Shouto, Hitoshi went straight for tongue. I’ll admit it startled me—not in a bad way, just... I wasn’t expecting it that fast. My heart stumbled in my chest.

Eyes wide, my hands flew to his chest, clutching the loose fabric of his oversized shirt tight between my fingers. It was pure instinct, like I was trying to slow him down, but it backfired—I just ended up pulling him closer.

He put so much force into that kiss that my body kept leaning back, him bending lower with every inch I gave. I was pinned between him and the table, my back hovering in the air, the base of my spine already aching from the awkward position. Still, I stayed there, gripping his shirt hard when, out of nowhere, I felt his hands clamp onto the backs of my thighs and hoist me up fast, setting me on the table without breaking the kiss for a second. I sighed at that hot grip. My legs parted instantly to let his hips slot between them.

His tongue was a little rough but so soft, wrapping around mine like he’d done this a million times. It was quick and slick like a snake, coiling tighter with every move, not letting me breathe, let alone think.

Maybe finally realizing he was getting too carried away and worried he’d overdone it, Shinsou suddenly slowed the kiss, easing back—he’d almost laid me flat—probably to give me some space.

But, to his surprise—and mine—I yanked him back without thinking, twisting his shirt harder in my fists and diving deeper into the kiss. His mouth tasted so good that no fear or insecurity could overpower it. I freaked out more when he started pulling away than when he’d kissed me so rough.

With that sudden tug, I accidentally made him lurch forward, and I fell flat on my back onto the table. But he was quick—bracing his forearms on either side of my head before he could crush me with his weight.

The kiss broke with a loud snap, and Hitoshi stared at me.

"S-sorry," I murmured, my chest rising and falling fast, as breathless as I’d been when I was kissing Todoroki.

He gave a small smile, also panting, and said low, almost whispering, "If all your apologies are gonna be like that, then I want you apologizing a thousand times."

I blushed, letting out an awkward little laugh.

My legs cradled him between them, knees bent on that old but apparently sturdy table.

His mouth went straight for my neck, like it was something he’d been itching to do for a while. My head fell back instantly, eyes shutting without me having any say in it, just to feel that warm breath brushing there and those eager lips better. When he gave the first suck, I couldn’t hold back an embarrassing moan—something I’d been trying to stifle since the kiss started.

Damn, damn, damn.

I quickly clapped a hand over my mouth, knowing that if Hitoshi kept going like that, it wouldn’t be long before more moans slipped out.

But even with his face buried in my neck, he seemed to have a sixth sense for what I was up to, because his hand shot to my wrist, pinning it to the table beside my face.

I bit my lower lip hard to muffle the shameful sounds, turning my face away and accidentally giving him full access to do whatever he wanted with my neck.

Even the kisses Shinsou left there were intense, but when he bit or sucked, I melted completely.

I’d figured out with Kirishima how sensitive I am there, but he never did it like Shinsou—not even close. His mouth lingered a little longer behind my ear, leaving a trail of hot breath that made me shiver, then slid down and bit the skin, only to suck it between his teeth right after, drawing a sigh out of me.

I only opened my eyes when I felt something hard pressing against me, and...

When I looked, mine was just as hard.

My eyes widened, blushing from head to toe, feeling like my body was being smothered in burning embers.

"No need to be shy," he whispered, his voice huskier than I’d ever heard it, slipping into my ears like a spell or a drug to scramble my senses. He knew exactly what was running through my head without me saying a word. His wet lips pressed against my ear, and it was just too good... "This is what you do to me." And to prove it, he nudged his hips forward gently, that extra bit of pressure enough to make me throw my head back and squirm all over. "And I think..." He dragged his tongue from the curve of my neck up to my ear, biting the lobe to seal my fate. God, is that light I’m seeing on the ceiling a gateway to paradise? "I do the same to you."

I bit my lip hard, instinctively trying to close my legs, but I forgot his body was between them and ended up just pressing him harder against me. That made us grind down there, and moans slipped from both of us.

"Okay, I think I’m starting to get jealous," Todoroki’s voice cut in suddenly. And just as fast, a hand grabbed the back of Hitoshi’s shirt and yanked him off me, snapping me out of that delicious haze. "You’re moving way too fast for someone who seemed so shy earlier." His gaze shot straight to me, making it clear who he meant.

I pressed my lips together. Now that they were both standing and I was the only one lying on the table—legs still spread, no less—the weight of reality crashed down on me.

I was like a juicy turkey laid out on the table, fiercely eyed by two sharp, hungry stares, ready to be devoured at a Christmas feast, exposed and vulnerable like never before, even with my clothes on.

One of them would’ve been embarrassing enough. But two?!

Might as well die.

Not even the Grim Reaper’s eyes coming for my soul could be as torturous as the excited gazes of those two on me.

Shit, and I’m not even in any shape to just get up and bolt.

Not that I’d want to, I’ll admit, but...

I was gonna pass out from sheer embarrassment.

I didn’t stay like that for long, but it felt like an eternity in my head. Soon I closed my legs and sat up cross-legged on the table, scratching the back of my neck with one hand.

I bit my lower lip, mortified, because they just wouldn’t say anything—just stared.

"W-well, I—"

"You sure about this, Midoriya?" Shouto’s serious question made my eyes widen. There wasn’t a hint of humor on either of their faces.

I lowered my head, unable to answer while looking into their eyes.

I nodded slowly.

"But if you change your mind later, don’t hesitate to tell us," Shinsou added, his gaze giving me confidence. I flashed him a tiny smile, nodding again.

"Okay, then I’d like to set one thing straight first: you two can’t hook up without me, and vice versa."

Hitoshi let out a nasal scoff.

"That’s pretty hypocritical coming from you, huh?"

"But we’re talking about it now, so it counts from this point on!"

"I think I’d need a solo moment with Izuku too, just to even things out—"

"Guys!" I exclaimed, pulling both their attention to me. "You’re talking like I’m not here again."

"Sorry," they said in unison.

"Alright, so..." I started fidgeting with the hem of my white shirt, a little nervous but excited. "Anything else I need to know?"

"Oh..." Hitoshi seemed to think of something and glanced at the guy beside him, but judging by the silent look they shared, they decided it wasn’t the time to bring it up. "Nah, that’s it."

I frowned.

"What? Spit it out!"

"It’s not a big deal, just... you know..." he went on, maybe trying to ease my confused expression. "We don’t really need to talk about it now."

I bounced my gaze between them, trying to read between the lines and suddenly feeling way more nervous.

I bit my lip, my fingers twisting harder into the fabric.

"What are you guys tal—"

"I told you not to bite your lip like that."

And Todoroki just launched at me, kissing me with more desperation than before. He grabbed my face with both hands, pulling it against his in an almost possessive way that didn’t even let me think about breaking away. All that came out of my mouth was a strangled "hmph!" before his tongue drowned mine in that minty taste I loved, while Hitoshi’s had something bitter—maybe tobacco—and was just as good. I couldn’t decide which one made me weaker.

My hand went to Shouto’s wrist, holding it gently. Just as I was about to close my eyes, Shinsou’s mouth returned to my neck, this time even more determined than before.

Then I realized this sudden desperate vibe they both picked up was their childish way of saying something to me like hey, ignore him, I’m right here.

And I was shocked at how dirty I felt for liking it so much.

While one hand held Shouto’s wrist, the other went to Shinsou’s neck, gripping tight and urging him on.

An electric current shot up through my whole body, making the hairs on my neck and arms stand on end. My tongue tangled with Todoroki’s still a bit shyly—his had no trace of that. The contrast of Hitoshi’s cool mouth against my hot skin could drive anyone insane; I melted with every suck or bite, my feet trembling in response.

Suddenly, Todoroki’s mouth broke from mine abruptly. Half-lidded and confused, I didn’t have time to process what was happening before Hitoshi took his place, kissing me fiercely.

"Damn it, don’t shove me," I heard the other guy’s annoyed voice, but it felt too distant—like every sound outside us—while my eyes stayed shut and my tongue got sucked into that warm space.

"Like you didn’t do to me earlier?" Shinsou muttered mid-kiss, shooting him a sideways glance. I was so wrapped up in it all, so dazed it was like I was drunk. It was hard to tell whose touches or kisses were whose—we’d barely started. But them talking to each other pulled me back to Earth a bit, making me crack my eyes open, though I wasn’t really interested in figuring it out—or capable of it, even if I tried.

"Wait, wait," Todoroki said, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder and pushing him off me. Hitoshi huffed, impatient but didn’t fight it. And there I was, sitting on the table, staring at them with a horny, lost look, half out of it, while they locked eyes like two cowboys in a standoff. "This isn’t gonna work like this." Then, suddenly, he grabbed the table’s edge with both hands. "Help me pull."

Like he got Todoroki’s plan, Shinsou didn’t question it—just helped drag the table, with me still on it, away from the wall.

I frowned, totally lost.

Todoroki walked around to stand behind me, on the other side of the table.

I was clueless, caught in the crossfire, unsure if I should look back at what one was doing or keep my eyes on the other in front of me.

"Come here," Todoroki said, his hand clamping around my neck and yanking me back until I was lying on the table again. My eyes widened, meeting his serious heterochromatic gaze—upside down from that angle—hovering over me. I’d never seen that look on his face before, and I didn’t know how to feel about it; it gave me chills. It was almost dark, dull. Hungry.

But before I could get lost in that intense stare, I felt Hitoshi’s slightly cool hand lifting my shirt, and that snapped my attention downward—though it was hard to see with my face still in Todoroki’s grip.

"W-wait...!" But Todoroki’s mouth crashed into mine the second the word slipped out, keeping me from focusing on anything else.

I got lost in another kiss with him while the other guy down below kissed every inch of my stomach nonstop, my shirt now bunched up over my chest. Those kisses on my skin were wet and cold—maybe because my whole body was on fire, and every touch of those soft lips sent electric shocks through me. I didn’t know which sensations to latch onto, and it made my tongue fumble in the kiss, unsure where to go, leaving everything sloppier and wetter than it should’ve been.

I couldn’t control the spasms. I’d never felt this lit up—not even when I jerked off and was close to finishing. My dick hadn’t even been touched, and I already felt like I was about to fall apart. Having two people on you, touching you all over, giving you every bit of their attention without a break to breathe—it’d break anyone down, even the most experienced.

And, damn, it’s tough! Not complaining, definitely not, but I don’t have the coordination to keep up with the kiss and stop my mind from clouding over with all the caresses and squeezes on my body.

When Hitoshi left a harder suck or bite below my navel, near the waistband of my shorts, my whole body jolted, and an involuntary moan slipped out, making Todoroki shove his tongue deeper into my mouth, trying to pull my focus back to the kiss.

But, holy crap, how do you focus on just one thing here? It’s impossible!

Little by little, I got used to it, and the tension started draining from my body, letting me relax more on the table. My mind was a fog—completely. I couldn’t form a single rational thought anymore; I just felt the sensations and returned them however I could—tugging Hitoshi’s hair a little or sucking Todoroki’s tongue deeper into my mouth. I was moaning openly now, not even registering it. If someone asked my name, I probably wouldn’t know it.

But when I felt my shorts being unbuttoned and the zipper sliding down, my eyes shot open.

A loud smack rang out as I broke the kiss and pushed Todoroki off, propping myself up on my elbows to see what Hitoshi was doing down there. He looked up at me, probably noticing the nerves leaking out of me, and stopped—though his fingers still held the waistband of my shorts.

"It’s okay," Shinsou said, so gentle it instantly calmed my chest, slowing my breathing. "You don’t want to?" He just rested his hands on my covered thighs, not moving them. "Maybe this is too much for you. We don’t have to keep going if you don’t want."

And as he straightened up and stepped back a bit, my eyes dropped to the big bulge trapped in his pants.

I swallowed hard.

"Ignore that—I’ll handle it," he said with a small, understanding smirk, planting his hands on the table’s edge, one on each side of me.

"B-but..."

"You don’t have to suck if that’s what’s freaking you out," he said, suddenly switching to a persuasive tone. "Sucking you..." His eyes roamed down my body like a wolf sizing up prey, stopping when they hit the obvious bulge in my lower half. Then he locked eyes with me again, sharp now. "That’d be enough for me."

"Don’t worry about us, Midoriya," Todoroki whispered hoarsely in my ear, his hot breath brushing the spot. I closed my eyes for a second, sighing. He bit my earlobe and followed it with a warm kiss on my neck. I bit my lip. "Today, you’re just gonna take."

Holy hell.

A chill hit my stomach.

What do I do...?

Should I just... stay still...? Waiting...?

My dazed look must’ve been priceless because they glanced at each other and started laughing.

I pressed my lips together, feeling a tingle in my fingertips.

"You want it, Midoriya?" Todoroki murmured in my ear again while my eyes stayed locked on the guy in front of me, smirking with mischief. "I’d be bummed if you missed out..." His words slithered to me like a snake circling its prey, calm and sneaky. "Because Shinsou sucks dick like nobody else."

That hit like a truck. An electric jolt shot up from my feet and settled below my navel, exploding there like an ice pack pressed against me. Then that ice turned to blazing coals, rushing straight to my dick, which I felt throb desperately.

Damn, not even a saint could say no to that.

"Let’s... t-take it slow, okay?" I asked, still jittery about what we were doing. I was insecure, yeah, but the vibe was so hot that stopping wasn’t even an option. I wanted to keep going, sure, but... slowly, or I wouldn’t keep up.

I heard Shouto’s husky laugh behind me.

"Whatever you want."

And while he worked his magic, kissing and sucking my neck with care and patience, Hitoshi’s hands slid back to my thighs, moving to the fly of my shorts again, all in slow motion while watching me—like he was waiting for a nod to finally yank it all down.

And I gave him that nod. And Shinsou’s grin widened.

I swallowed hard, watching his nimble fingers ease the zipper down and pop the button free.

Suddenly, my shorts were pooled at my feet.

He gripped my bare thighs and pulled them toward him, dragging my back across the table until my body was closer to the edge.

My eyes widened when he knelt, tossing my legs over his broad shoulders.

"W-wait!" I let out a yell I didn’t even know why I made, and Shinsou stopped instantly, looking at me.

And I was shocked he actually stopped.

"What?"

"Nothing, I-I just..." I bit my lip, embarrassed. "Was testing something."

He laughed.

"I’ll stop anytime you want," he made clear again, then leaned his face toward the bulge trapped in my black boxer briefs, my dick twitching just from feeling his hot breath there. "But I doubt you’ll ask me to stop from here on out."

~*~*~*~

Bakugo

I’d already checked every damn stall in this place, and still no sign of that shitty Deku. I’d seen the same faces so many times I could’ve grabbed a piece of paper and drawn them blindfolded if I wanted to. I figured it wouldn’t be that hard to spot him, even with how packed it was, because not just anyone has a damn head of lettuce sprouting out of their skull.

But yeah, I guess that guy really has a talent for disappearing.

And fuck, his phone kept going straight to voicemail. What a pain. My messages weren’t even getting through anymore. Maybe his battery died or something.

The sun was setting, and the moon was starting to rise.

That’s when it hit me why they called it the Moon Festival.

It was a full moon night.

And not just any full moon—it was yellow and huge in a way I’d never seen before. I think I stood there for a while, right in the middle of people walking back and forth, just staring at it.

Fuck, Deku, where are you?

I’d never seen someone invite a person out just to vanish afterward. Sure, I took a while to see his message, but still—if you invite someone somewhere, you’ve got to keep your phone on, right? That’s the bare minimum!

I’d been wandering around like a damn lost duck for at least two hours.

Fuck.

I sighed and plopped down on the nearest bench I could find.

I was killing time on my phone when I heard a group of girls laughing. I ignored it at first, but the chatter kept going, and something told me it was about me. Out of curiosity, I looked up just to check. They quickly looked away when I stared back, but one of them met my eyes again and gave a subtle wave with a smile. I just nodded slightly out of politeness and dropped my gaze back to my phone.

Five minutes later, a pair of red sneakers suddenly appeared right in front of my black ones.

Without thinking twice, I snapped my head up, thinking it was Deku, but my face immediately fell when I saw it was the same girl from before. The disappointment was probably written all over me.

"Hi! Sorry for just showing up like this, I didn’t mean to bother you, but I saw you here alone and…" She pressed her lips together, looking a little nervous. "I don’t usually do this, sorry if I’m annoying you. My name’s Misaki." She flashed a smile. "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Hm…" I glanced around for a second before looking back at her. "Yeah, I am." I kept it simple.

But I think I’m waiting for someone who’s never gonna show.

"Oh…" Her smile faded a bit. "Your girlfriend?"

I let out a laugh.

Does it really matter if it’s a girlfriend or not? I already said I’m waiting for someone.

"Because I was kinda thinking…" she went on. "If she doesn’t show, I could keep you company." She bit her lip, clasping her hands behind her back. "If you want, of course."

Of course it’d be if I want. What, is she gonna grab my hand and drag me around against my will?

Subtly, I took a moment to size her up for the first time.

Black hair, straight and long down to her waist. Perfectly cut bangs, like she’d just walked out of a salon. Nice smile. Nice body. She wore a blue shirt so big and baggy it almost hid the denim shorts underneath.

The kind of girl I’d normally have no problem chatting up to see where it goes.

But…

"I’m really waiting for someone."

It was weird to think that, even though she was the type I’d hook up with, I wasn’t the least bit interested.

"Got it." She gave a weak smile, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "Sorry again for bothering you."

"It’s fine, you didn’t."

And she walked off.

I saw her friends grin at her like they were saying "at least you tried," and then they all disappeared into the crowd of stalls.

I huffed.

Fuck, I’m losing it.

What do I mean, waiting for someone?

Waiting for someone my ass—Deku’s not looking for me; he doesn’t even know I’m here.

But I… just…

If I’m not at this festival with him, there’s no point in being here with anyone else.

Fuck, should I just leave…?

It’s been almost three hours of me wandering around this damn place, I can’t find that bastard anywhere, and he’s not even getting my messages…

"Bakugo?"

I whipped my head toward the voice calling me, even though I knew it wasn’t Deku—not even in my deepest desperation could I mistake his voice.

I frowned when I saw a blond guy with a big grin walking up to me.

Is he from my school and recognized me here? I have no clue who this dude is.

"Oh, sorry, you probably don’t know me. Bakugou Katsuki, right?" He stopped in front of me, holding out a hand. "I’m Denki Kaminari, Izuku’s friend!"

Oh!

My eyes widened, and I shot up from the wooden bench, surprising myself with how excited I got as I shook his hand.

"Hey, hi!" Fuck, finally. Even if it’s not Deku, it’s still someone who knows him. That’s something. I wasn’t even curious about how he knew who I was—I just wanted to find Izuku already. "Dude, I don’t even know you, but you have no idea how glad I am to see you." He laughed, even though he didn’t quite get it. "I’ve been here forever waiting for that damn Deku. The bastard invited me here, but I’ve been around for ages and can’t get a hold of him. Do you know where he is or…?" I know I skipped all the intros and went straight to the point, but I was already desperate. And pissed as hell.

If there’s one thing I fucking hate, it’s waiting. Waiting for someone, waiting in lines—I hate anything that makes me wait. That’s why I usually give up on anything I realize is gonna take too long.

Deku’s the damn exception.

"Whoa, really?" His eyes widened in surprise. "Man, I haven’t seen him in a while either, actually. I saw you here and was gonna ask if you were with him."

And just like that, my spark of hope died as fast as it came.

"Oh." I huffed, shoving my hands into the pockets of my baggy pants, my shoulders slumping. "Did he leave or something? ‘Cause I’ve walked this whole damn place and been here for almost three hours—I think we would’ve run into each other by now if he was still around…"

"Leave? I don’t think so." He frowned, scratching the back of his neck. "My band’s playing at the end of the festival—I doubt he’d take off without saying anything…" He crossed his arms and looked away, thinking. "Oh! I think he was with Shinsou the last time I saw him. Todoroki was in our old rehearsal room, so maybe they went there to meet him and…" Suddenly, his eyes started widening, and his voice lost its confidence, like he’d just remembered something. "Although…" He let out a laugh that sounded kinda nervous to me. I raised an eyebrow. "They’re probably not there. What would they be doing holed up in a room with this awesome festival going on out here, right?" He kept laughing, but when he saw I stayed deadpan, he cleared his throat. "I’ll call Shinsou—he’ll probably pick up—"

"Where’s that room?"

"No, seriously, they’re definitely not there." He kept insisting in a way that felt kinda suspicious to me. "My band’s playing soon anyway! Wherever they are, they’ll show up."

"Look, no offense…" I let out a dry laugh, crossing my arms. "I’m not in the mood to wait any longer than I already have. Just tell me where that room is." This Kaminari guy pressed his lips together, hesitating. "Please, man." I added, ‘cause I was worried I might’ve come off a little intimidating.

"O-okay, just…" He pulled his phone out of his pocket, his anxious fingers fumbling over the screen. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? What was so hard about just telling me where the damn room was? "Just let me… let me call Shinsou first."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Why can’t we just go there?"

This guy’s nerves couldn’t be a good sign.

I was starting to get seriously pissed.

"Hang on, just a sec!" He turned his back, putting the phone to his ear.

It rang and rang, but it seemed like the other guy didn’t pick up. I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth, rolling my eyes. Kaminari tried again, and this time, the way his feet were bouncing a little gave away his anxiety.

"Pick up, dude, pick up…" I think he was muttering to himself, but I could hear it.

I squinted, crossing my arms.

Fuck.

What’s this guy’s deal?

~*~*~*~

Midoriya

I could already taste the metallic tang of blood flooding my mouth, that’s how hard my teeth were digging into my lower lip.

And Shinsou hadn’t even put my dick in his mouth yet.

My trembling thighs, slung over his broad shoulders, were gripped tightly by his hands. He dug his nails into my flesh so hard that later it might look like some rabid animal had attacked me. His tongue, way too hot, dragged down there and… no, not on my dick, but… a little lower. My toes were practically breaking from how much they curled. He slid his tongue along my perineum slowly, from start to finish, leaving a wet trail of saliva that made me shiver every time his breath hit it—which was all the time. When he got close to my balls, he’d stop, lock eyes with me, then close his own and trace the whole path again with his tongue.

Fuck.

I was going to die at this pace.

My dick had never been this hard before. The way it was red and throbbing, veins popping out like I’d never seen, left me mortified—and worried, because I genuinely feared it might explode.

My chest was heaving like crazy, and the real thing hadn’t even started yet. I mean, started for real.

Sometimes, Shinsou went so low that the tip of his tongue brushed the edge of my… well, you know. That’s when I’d thrash around like a lizard, a total contrast to the calm, almost serene way he went at it, like he was just savoring a dessert. And all that calm and serenity had a purpose, of course. I could tell by the way he laughed through those insane purple eyes.

The bastard was having the time of his life watching me lose my mind.

I was already a sweaty, sighing mess on that old wooden table, practically melting—both from the heat outside and inside. My mind was foggy, everything around Shinsou blurry. All I could see was him—and sometimes even that was a struggle. I bit my lips, rolled my eyes back, and itched to curse every time he went up or down but never finished. He didn’t touch my dick or down there, just teased with his tongue across the skin in between, watching me go insane—probably because he wanted me to beg. And that’s something I could never do. My face burned just imagining myself saying anything remotely sexual.

I didn’t know if every pulse I felt was because I wanted him to suck my damn dick already or suck my…

Well, you know.

And I never thought I’d want someone to put their mouth on my ass this badly.

God, how embarrassing.

I’m a damn pervert.

"You’re a legit virgin, Midoriya." Todoroki’s rough voice reached my ears, making my eyes widen—not because of what he said, but because I’d forgotten he was still behind me. Maybe he was just as hooked on the show as I was. "It’s been a while since I’ve seen a reaction like this… no, I think this is the first time. This is fun." Todoroki’s mouth dragged slowly across the skin of my nape as he spoke in almost a whisper, making every hair there stand up like a cold breeze was hitting it. I was the only piece of meat on that table, like a turkey at Christmas dinner, with the two of them circling me—one at each end. "You might be inexperienced, kinda innocent… you might be burning with shame right now, but still, here you are." His hand came from behind and grabbed my chin, holding my face steady so I couldn’t look anywhere but at Shinsou, who was alternating between kissing my thighs and my perineum. I swallowed hard, my eyes glued to the scene unfolding in front of me. My nails were already digging into the wood of that table, scratching in pure desperation for Shinsou to stop messing around and just do what he’d been promising. "Practically clawing your nails off because you want to be sucked so bad, but too ashamed to ask."

I never imagined Todoroki could be this depraved—he’s always so friendly and kind…

But he fooled me good.

I pressed my lips together hard, the corners of my eyes watering from how desperate I was.

My dick had practically turned into a third arm, pointing at the ceiling with pride, which made me shut my eyes from the sheer embarrassment of the situation.

Earlier, when Hitoshi pulled off my shorts and wedged himself between my legs, I was so ashamed of being so exposed to him that my hands immediately shot down to cover my entrance—because that’s where the idiot wouldn’t stop staring. But Todoroki grabbed my hands right away and pinned them firmly to the table above my head, and he hadn’t let go since. Because of that, I couldn’t prop myself up on my elbows, and it was damn hard to keep my head up to see what Shinsou was doing down there.

"Say it, Midoriya." Todoroki’s voice whispered in my ear again, like a fallen angel tempting me. "Tell us what you want."

I threw my head back, hearing a loud thud as it hit the table, but I didn’t care.

All I could do was whimper. Whimper because I wanted to grab Shinsou’s hair but couldn’t. Whimper because he kept sucking on my perineum without a shred of mercy for my desperate moans. Whimper because Todoroki was another bastard who just stared down at me, grinning like the devil himself, doing nothing useful—like jerking off my rock-hard dick. And I couldn’t even do it myself since he was holding my hands so stubbornly against the table—not with force, he didn’t need to, because I was so limp there I couldn’t fight back.

All I could do was whimper in frustration.

And arousal.

Fuck, what arousal.

"Shouto, you’ve gotta see this." Hitoshi stopped suddenly, and I finally let out a deep sigh that had been clawing at my throat. I needed a break to calm my body down—I couldn’t stop thrashing with every lick, bite, and kiss he so cruelly delivered down there. I shut my eyes tight, my chest heaving like I’d just run a marathon. I wanted him to go down on me so bad I wasn’t even ashamed anymore of having my ass spread open on the table for him—but begging was something even the height of horniness wouldn’t let me do. "His little hole’s winking. How cute."

My eyes shot open, and I blushed hard.

No, scratch that. I’m dying of shame, yeah.

Fuck, I wanna hide.

"Don’t tease him like that, Shinsou." Todoroki mocked, a wide grin on his face. These two are vipers, that’s what they are! No mercy! "That’s mean."

"S-stop looking there—!"

"Check this out." And his index finger brushed my entrance lightly, sliding up and down a bit, like he was giving it little taps with his fingertip.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I had to fight hard to stifle a choked moan and squeezed my eyes shut so tight it’d probably be the reason for my future wrinkles, because, fuck, I clenched.

He laughed, and I trembled, knowing he saw it.

And he definitely wouldn’t miss the chance to say something.

"I don’t get it, Izuku. You said you wanted to take it slow, and now you’re like this, your hole winking at me? And I haven’t even done anything yet…" His eyes pierced through me, straight into my soul. I swallowed hard, watching his tongue slide along the inside of my thigh, never breaking eye contact. He left a light bite there, and I unconsciously bit my lower lip too, clenching my still-pinned hands into fists. "You change your mind pretty fast, don’t you?"

"I-I… I didn’t change my mind, it’s just that you guys—"

"Will just a blowjob be enough for you, Izuku?" Suddenly, Todoroki’s mouth was right at my ear, and I could feel every movement of his hot lips with each word. I shivered all over, instinctively trying to close my legs, but Shinsou was between them.

Hypocrite. Wasn’t he the one who said it’s mean to tease me?

I looked up at Todoroki, who grinned even wider at my probably half-desperate expression. He was upside down from that angle, his head parallel to mine, and if he got just a few centimeters closer, his red-and-white bangs would fall over my face.

While that line turned me on, it also freaked me out. As horny as I was, I still wasn’t comfortable with going all the way—not that day, not like that…

"Relax, I’m just kidding." He kept talking out of nowhere, laughing at my reaction. "Besides… it’s no fun like this. I’ll only stick it in you when you beg. So no need to worry."

My eyes widened, a cold shiver running through my whole body.

I swallowed hard.

Holy shit, since when did they go from just two teenagers to… this?

They say all this stuff so… so…

How many times have they done this kind of thing to have such a filthy vocabulary?

I couldn’t even say something like "your kiss is nice" or some dumb little thing like that without stuttering, and here they were, practically talking like porn stars. I’ll admit it intimidated me a bit—not in a bad way, but just…

Will I really be able to keep up with them? Will I satisfy them the way they expect?

Even if they know I’m inexperienced, it’s natural they’d have some expectations, so…

Suddenly, my entire train of thought shattered when Hitoshi sucked one of my balls into his hot mouth with force. The wet sound was so loud it felt like my soul got sucked in too.

Holy fuck.

I don’t even need to say I hit the heavens and then crashed into hell with that one. It was especially good because I wasn’t expecting it—I almost kicked him in the face from the insane spasm that hit me.

Along with the loud moan—scream’s probably more accurate—that ripped from my throat, my head fell back, and once again, I was met with Shouto’s smirk, who, whispering like he was sharing a secret, said with his pretty eyes locked on mine:

"But don’t worry. We’ll teach you how to beg."

Chapter Text

And that’s when, suddenly, a phone rang.

Hitoshi pulled my ball out of his mouth with a wet pop, somewhat reluctantly judging by the slightly impatient action and the eye roll that followed, and quickly fished his phone out of his pocket. But his sour expression from the interruption got even worse when he saw the name on the screen.

"Who is it?" Todoroki asked, not really caring about the answer, his voice muffled as he had my skin caught between his teeth. Meanwhile, I stared at Hitoshi with wide eyes, suddenly feeling anxious and on edge.

That call snapped me back to reality. We were in some random room in the middle of a school festival.

What was I thinking?

Hitoshi clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and ended the call without even picking it up.

"It’s Kaminari. Probably all jittery about the performance and wanting to bug us." And, brushing it off like it was nothing, he slipped the phone back into his pocket—not without likely putting it on silent first.

"You know how he is," Todoroki said, chuckling as I let out a little whimper from the harsh hickey he left before pulling away. "He likes us to get there at least an hour before the show starts to set everything up properly, even though we almost never do."

"Tch, annoying as hell," was all Shinsou said before he just bent back over me, ignoring my hard-on and going back to spreading kisses, bites, and hickeys all over the insides of my thighs. I pressed my lips together hard, trying to push away the intrusive thoughts and just let myself feel it all like any other teenager in my place would.

There’s no reason to worry, right? I’m sure we’re not the only ones in this school having an intimate moment somewhere. We’re a bunch of hormonal teens, after all. I wouldn’t even be surprised if some are doing way worse!

But what could be worse than a three-way makeout?

God, I feel so dirty.

And I feel even dirtier because I don’t know if I hate it or love it.

My legs wouldn’t stop shaking over Hitoshi’s shoulders. Even though my mind was half elsewhere, my body still reacted on its own. His big hands—with long, slender fingers like a pianist’s—gripped my thighs without much gentleness and slowly slid down to my ass. At first, he touched it almost reverently, just caressing, then squeezed so roughly that I felt my dick throb. He glanced at me sideways, smirking like he knew exactly what he was doing, holding the now-marked skin of my thigh between his teeth.

I couldn’t stop staring at him—it was downright hypnotic.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Couldn’t he just shove my dick in his mouth already and make me come?!

I don’t know if I can handle all this adrenaline. What if someone walks in…?

Stop it, Midoriya! Goddamn it!

I bet Todoroki and Hitoshi have done this a thousand times—they’re not even worried. Why do you keep overcomplicating things for yourself, Izuku? When something good finally happens in your life… isn’t this what you wanted? To live like a normal teenager, having fun like everyone else? So stop overthinking for once in your damn life!

"Dude, you’ve been down there long enough. Go on, move," I heard Todoroki say, a bit impatient.

"Not yet." And, completely unfazed by the other’s annoyance, he started moving his mouth toward my dick—finally, I might add—his purple eyes locked on mine. "I haven’t swallowed his load yet."

And just as he was about to take it in, another phone rang—but it didn’t seem to be Shinsou’s this time.

"Fuck, what does this asshole want?" Todoroki huffed, pulling away in a fit of irritation and grabbing his own phone from his pocket, probably already guessing it was Kaminari. Hitoshi rolled his eyes at yet another interruption, but when he saw I was way too focused on what the call was about, I think he decided to pull me back into that bubble of madness we were in, because he just went all in on my dick. I screamed more from the shock of the sudden move than the pleasure that hit me. "Kaminari, calm your damn ass down, we’ll be there soon," he said as soon as he picked up, then hung up without giving the other a chance to reply, huffing again. "Fucking buzzkill."

Hitoshi laughed and, with his mouth full, said, "Nothing too out of the ordinary, right?"

"If he shows up here, I swear I’ll kill him."

"Does he know we’re here?"

"Guys, what if it’s important?" I asked suddenly, genuinely worried, but I let out a pained yelp when Shinsou bit my thigh hard, and then I realized it was definitely meant to shut me up.

"I’ve got your hard dick right in my face, Izuku," he said, exasperated. "Even if he’s calling to say the Pope’s here to watch our show, it’s not enough to drag me out of here. Are you seriously that worried about it? It’s almost insulting to me."

I bit my lip, wondering if going through with this was really a good idea.

Okay, I know I gave that whole speech about wanting to have fun like everyone else and all, but I can’t help it—I’m still Midoriya.

And, flashing me an amused grin, he went back to sucking my dick with gusto, though he’d stop whenever I trembled too much and switch to just kissing my thighs. He’d only start sucking again when he noticed my breathing calming down, and this time I couldn’t hold back a curse.

"F-fuck…" I growled, covering my mouth with my forearm and biting the skin there hard to vent my pure frustration. My whole body was shaking nonstop. The feeling of my dick pulsing inside someone’s hot mouth was so new to me, so good, so… incredible.

Despite everything, despite all the fear and adrenaline…

It was incredible.

I felt incredible.

~*~*~*~

Katsuki

"Come on, dude, I’m serious!!" he yelled, his short little legs trying to keep up with me as I stormed through the hallways of that massive building. "They’ll show up soon, wherever they are! What’s with all the rush?! Our band’s about to play, I told you…" And he talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, while I kept throwing open every damn door I came across. "Chill, man! Take it easy! You’re acting like Izuku’s running away from you or something!"

He’s not, is he?

I know he’s not, he’s the one who invited me to this stupid festival…

So why do I feel like he is?

Why do I feel like if I don’t find him now, I’ll lose him forever?

"Damn it, I can’t get a hold of any of them…" that Kaminari guy muttered behind me, apparently still trying to call all three of them. "Midoriya’s doesn’t even ring—think it’s dead."

"You think?" I let out a dry laugh after slamming shut yet another empty room’s door, spinning around so fast he stumbled back two steps. "If you really wanted to help me find them, you’d have told me where that damn room is by now. So don’t play the nice guy with me, you fucking Pikachu wannabe."

His eyes widened, and I could hear him swallow hard. I must’ve intimidated him so much after that—even though I didn’t mean to—that he just gave up following me, staying behind as I turned the next corner in the hallways.

I started wondering if I was really in a school or a damn maze. What kind of building is this? It feels endless. Or am I just too damn anxious?

Since it was festival day, I didn’t see any coordinators, supervisors, or a single soul who could help me. I ran into a few students wandering around, probably taking advantage of the empty building to mess around, but when I asked them about a rehearsal room, they just shrugged. Damn it, don’t they go to this fucking school?! How do they not know where the damn rehearsal room is?!

But when I got to the fifth floor, the silence felt deafening. The music and noise from the festival had never seemed so far away. I could hear the clean sound of my sneakers hitting the floor and the echo that followed, that emptiness balancing out my completely full and chaotic mind.

Unlike before, my steps were calm now, almost cautious. That silence would help me hear Deku if he was in one of the rooms, which was good, but at the same time, all of a sudden, I didn’t want to find him anymore.

Why was I suddenly nervous, like something bad was about to happen?

Or already was happening.

I don’t know these guys—what if it’s all just a game to them? From what I know, they’ve got a band. They must be popular. That Todoroki guy definitely is—I’ve seen him, he’s decent-looking, not to mention he’s the student council president.

What would they want with Deku? What if it’s all a trap? What if they just want someone to turn into a punching bag…

Not that I think Deku can’t make friends with cool people, but he wasn’t the only one Shigaraki High left scarred. It’s hard to trust people after spending time in that place.

That thought put me on edge, and all the adrenaline from before came rushing back, surging through me like wildfire.

I opened the first door.

Nothing.

The second.

Nothing.

The third.

Nothing.

I’d opened so many doors I lost count.

I started thinking maybe we’d just missed each other. The school’s huge, and like that dumbass Pikachu said, their performance was about to start soon, so they’d show up then. Maybe they’re already there, and here I am, looking like a crazy bastard bursting into rooms like a tornado.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment.

Fuck.

What am I doing?

I should stop trying to be Deku’s guardian, like he always says. I should stop trying to protect him like he’s some fragile damsel in distress. I should trust him more and let him handle things on his own…

But I can’t. I can’t stand that possibility. I can’t stand the idea of leaving him alone.

Especially now that he’s not by my side anymore. I can’t see him every day. I don’t know where he is, what he’s doing, or who he’s hanging out with…

I know I’ve failed you so many times. I know I wasn’t there for you in every moment I could’ve been. I know there were times I chose to be with other people when I could’ve been with you…

If I could go back in time…

If I could go back in time…

I’d never have laid eyes on Uraraka.

Not when your eyes shine so much brighter, Izuku.

That’s when, suddenly, I heard a sound.

A low, faint, almost pained noise, like a rat after getting whacked by a broom.

I frowned, my body turning slightly toward where I thought it came from.

Another one. This time, a little louder.

Almost a moan.

My heart pounded hard against my chest, and that bad feeling eating at me grew…

A thousand times scarier than before.

"A-ah, please…"

My eyes widened, my chest caving in around my heart, leaving just a black hole.

I didn’t even know if it was really your voice. The sound was low, distant, and drawn out. It could’ve been anything…

But why then had I lost all my breath, like my heart recognized your voice before I even did?

I took a step toward the door, my fists clenching tighter with every tiny inch I covered.

The sounds grew more melodic and clear, more… dirty.

I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes, but my feet didn’t stop. They moved slowly, like they were afraid to reach their final destination.

"Finish it already, please…" And rough laughter echoed right after that agonizing yet needy plea.

When my feet finally stopped in front of the closed door, I realized the taste of blood ruled my mouth—that’s how hard I’d been biting my lips. Slowly, I raised my right hand to reach for the doorknob, but it froze halfway, trembling, and stayed lost in the air.

I didn’t know if I should open that door. I didn’t know if I wanted to see what was happening behind those walls.

But my heart still refused to accept that the voice belonged to the person my brain knew it did.

I just need to be absolutely sure.

I just need to see that it’s not you, so I can sleep easy.

I just need it not to be you.

Please, don’t be you.

But no matter how desperately I wished for that, the reality unfolding right in front of my eyes wouldn’t shatter into a million pieces just because I wanted it to.

The sight of you, legs spread on an old table, with one guy sucking every inch of your body from head to toe while another devoured your tongue in his mouth, wouldn’t vanish from my mind no matter how many times I smashed my head against a rock.

My heart must still be somewhere inside me, but it wasn’t beating anymore—I’d stopped hearing it thumping through my body. Every other sound faded too, replaced by an annoying buzz invading my ears, nearly bursting my eardrums.

I don’t remember when I cracked the door just enough to see everything without being noticed, but honestly, I don’t know if they’d have seen me even if I’d busted it down like a bull. I don’t remember when I turned around and walked away, either, like a ghost with no destination.

Even less do I remember when I fell so hopelessly in love with you.

How did I not notice?

Maybe it was when you left school and left me alone…

Or in the countless moments I caught you beaming at me from the bleachers…

Or maybe it was when I walked into that art room and saw your scared green eyes staring at me for the first time.

Being honest, I don’t know when I lost myself…

Or found myself in you.

"H-hey, man." That blond guy again. I knew it was him, but I didn’t even look at his face. When did I get back to the festival? "Did you… find them—"

He shut his trap when I walked right past him, not giving him a crumb of attention.

I wasn’t moving fast. He could’ve easily caught up.

But I guess he noticed I didn’t even seem to be there. I didn’t even seem alive.

Just a ghost drifting through a crowd of happy people.

~*~

I didn’t know this feeling. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling anything remotely like it.

So this is what it’s like to feel completely miserable?

When I got home—a trip that took forever, and I couldn’t even remember if I’d come by bike or not—I felt like I was 13 again, refusing to shower. Lying in bed seemed so much more inviting, but I forced myself to grab a towel and head to the bathroom.

Being miserable was enough; I didn’t need to smell like it too.

And as the cold water washed away that stench of death, I couldn’t stop thinking…

How? How didn’t I see it sooner?

It all makes sense now. It was never just worry. It was never just deep affection. It was never just admiration.

But I’d never felt this for anyone before, not even girls. With girls, it was just physical attraction, just sex—I knew how to spot when I was interested. I never built a friendship or emotional bond with any of them.

With you, it was different. The order was flipped.

And that’s why I didn’t notice. I wasn’t used to it. And because you’re a guy, I thought I only cared about you so much because you were the closest thing to a brother I’d never had.

Fuck.

I let out a laugh and closed my eyes, resting my forehead against the cold shower wall.

What a mess.

What stupidity.

Uraraka was right when she said I’ve got the emotional intelligence of a goat.

I didn’t grow up in a home of talking, understanding, and affection. Not that my parents were violent, but my dad barely lowered the newspaper from his face at breakfast, and my mom was the type to say, “You’re sad? Go sleep it off.” I was never taught how to handle my feelings, so I just didn’t. I ignored them or let them out through anger. That’s all I knew how to do.

So how am I supposed to deal with them now?

That’s all I could think when the doorbell rang.

~*~*~*~

Izuku