Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The sour taste of beer slid down Bucky’s throat with a grimace. It wasn’t the worst he’d ever had, but he didn’t drink it for the taste. Not that he felt anything from the alcohol anymore, not after the serum, but there was still some semblance of peace that came from the familiar feel of a cheap bottle of beer in his hand. His gloved hands thumbed the condensation running down the side of the bottle as he let out a sigh. Yet another session with Dr. Raynor left him somehow feeling worse about himself. How that woman ever became a shrink was beyond him.

“Need another, Barnes?” he heard. He met the eyes of the old bartender, Phil, who owned the even older bar. 

When Bucky had seen that Wright’s was still open, he hadn’t thought twice about sticking his head inside for a drink. He remembered spending late nights with Steve in that very bar, finding girls to dance with and take home. Phil Wright’s father, Will, had owned the bar back then. When Bucky found out Phil had taken over his father’s position, he was happy to see it.

“No,” Bucky said, finishing off the last of his beer. “I should head back.”

As he made to pull out his wallet, Phil said, “Don’t bother with that, son. Everythin’s on the house today.”

“Some kind of special sale or something?” Bucky asked. He still dropped a twenty on the bar. 

“Or somethin’,” Phil said. It was then Bucky noted the downward turn of his eyes. “Can’t keep the merchandise if I don’t have a place to sell it from.” Before he could ask, Phil continued. “The building is shuttin’ the place down on me, Barnes. Said I haven’t made my payments and it’s time the place went under.”

“They can’t shut down Wright’s,” Bucky said. A frightening panic of unsettling unfamiliarity pulsed in the back of his mind. Yet another thing in this world was changing and it was horribly out of his control. “If you need help-”

“No, no. In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve been my only customer for weeks now,” Phil said, gesturing to the empty bar around them. Bucky hadn’t minded the solitude. In fact, it was one of the reasons he loved this bar so much. “And I couldn’t ask anythin’ of you when I’ve already tried everythin’ to keep this place afloat.”

“At least let me, I don’t know–” Bucky ran a hand over his hair in desperate thought “–convince them to keep it open until you get yourself back on your feet.”

Phil laughed bitterly. “I’ve already tried it all.” He let out a long sigh before coming around the bar to face Bucky. “I’m an old man. My wife’s been beggin’ me to retire for years. You’ve been a good customer all these years, Barnes. My pop would talk about you and your little friend often. Never thought I’d be lucky enough to meet you again myself as an old man.” He held out his hand for him to shake. Reluctantly, Bucky obliged. “It’s been an honor to have you, Sergeant. Here.” Phil took an old photo from the wall, one of him and Steve when the little shrimp had just turned twenty-one. “My pop always loved this photo. It’s only right you should have it.”

Bucky took the photo, his eyes glazing over the black-and-white image. He looked so young, so carefree there. Steve was still that skinny little kid he had saved all those years before, but he was smiling so brightly that Bucky’s stern mein nearly softened. He could barely face his own reflection, managing to catch the strings of his short hair that fell over his forehead, as well as the unburdened laugh that was forever frozen in time. He couldn’t remember half of that night, but he wasn’t certain if it was from the amount of booze he had, or from Hydra’s tampering within his broken mind. He faced Phil again with a tight smile and said, “Thanks. Take care of yourself.”

“I’m not the one who’s been comin’ in here every Wednesday,” Phil said, clapping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Any other time, he would have flinched away. He would have attempted to defend himself from attack. He would have killed . But those days were long gone. “You take care, Barnes.”

Stepping outside of Wright’s for the last time was like feeling a light dim in his chest. When Phil turned the Open sign to Closed , Bucky hung his head low with a clench of his jaw. The familiarity of Wright’s after a long and arduous session with Dr. Raynor was comforting and it always helped him connect who he used to be with who he was in this new era. That connection was severed beneath his feet, and he was suddenly plummeting from the tightrope he had been walking with no net to catch him. Instead, he walked home with the burning pain of knowing a good man had lost his livelihood, and he’d now have to find somewhere else to drink away his anxiety. Drinking at home was just too sad, and he’d never want Alpine to be stuck with him moping away day in, day out.

She greeted him at his door with a whining meow , rubbing her cheek against his leg before he picked her up to soothe her. He set the little photo of him and Steve on his fridge, sticking a magnet over the side to keep it snug. His eyes raked over it one more time before he retreated back to his living area and collapsed on the comfy cushions of the couch. Bucky laid back, Alpine curling up on his chest as he closed his eyes with a deep sigh. He gently ran his hand up and down her sparkling white coat before exhaustion overcame his eyes and he drifted into a restless nap.

#

“You seem tense today, James.”

Bucky folded his hands in his lap, licking his lips as he shrugged his shoulders. “Aren’t I always?” he replied.

“No, you’re usually just pissed you even have to be here,” Dr. Raynor said. Her eyes were almost bored as she scanned him over. He felt like a germ underneath a microscope every time he came. “Has something happened?”

“Nothing,” he said. She narrowed her eyes at him. “You know, it doesn’t help when you look like you’re trying to pull an answer from me.”

“It’s my job to pull an answer from you,” she said. “You want to tell me what’s happened?” When he didn’t answer, she grabbed her pen and notepad.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “This, with the notepad, again?”

“We’ve been through this,” she said, scribbling down a few notes. The sight made him squirm.

“Alright, I-” his fingers flexed in his lap as Dr. Raynor looked up from her notes, “Wright’s closed down the last week.”

“That bar you visit?” Dr. Raynor asked. He nodded, looking down at his hands. She finally set aside that damn notepad. “You’ve always gone there, since before the war. How do you feel about it?”

Bucky didn’t want to talk about the bar, but he knew she wouldn’t relent until he did. It was her job, after all, to make him talk about the things he rather avoid. “Lost,” he said. He gulped down his burning desire to keep quiet. “It helped me remember a lot.”

“I don’t think you went in there for the old memories, James,” Dr. Raynor said. When he glanced out the window, he heard her sigh before she said, “There’s a lot you’re trying to get used to. I can see why you’d want to find comfort in Wright’s, but at the end of the day, the rest of the world is still moving forward while you’re trying to stay stuck in 1943.”

“I’m not,” he snapped. “Wright’s was just-”

“Familiar,” she interrupted. “And a place from the past. I’m not saying it’s a good thing that it shut down, but I’d see this as an opportunity to stick your toes back in the water. Ever since the Flag Smashers, you’ve tried to go back into that shell you made. Find a new place to drink, or whatever it is you want to do there. Meet new people.”

It would have been easier if Sam had stuck around, although Bucky would never say it out loud. But his home was Brooklyn while Sam was still helping his sister back in Louisiana. With Steve becoming the government’s best kept secret, Sam had been the only person to push Bucky from his solitude. Now, without Wright’s, he wanted nothing more than to go back to that lonesome quiet. “I don’t think new people want to meet me ,” he said.

“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it is,” Dr. Raynor said. He was used to her brazen methodology of forcing him to talk, but it still slapped him across the face when she called him out. 

“You’re very mean.”

“And you’re making up reasons to avoid the rest of the world,” she said. “It would do you some good to listen when I’m being mean.” Bucky refused to meet her eye. He heard her tap her pen against her palm before she said, “Here’s some homework for you, James. Find a new bar. Someplace you’ve never been to. And once you’ve settled, talk to someone.”

Her words circled his mind for the entire ride back on the train. With his hands stuffed in his leather jacket, Bucky drowned out the screeching sound of the train turning a tight corner before he stepped off onto the platform. He wanted nothing more than to walk up to Wright’s and find Phil at the bar with a beer ready and waiting for him, but he knew better than to hope the old door would still be open. He hadn’t had enough time in that bar when he got back to New York after Wakanda. He had hoped to someday see Phil’s son take over the bar, a strapping young man he had met on occasion, but without the property, there wasn’t a hope in the world of seeing that happen. 

When he passed by the door, he peered in, hoping to see someone wandering around. But it was already taped up and dusty. The chairs and tables had been removed, as had all the alcohol that lined the wall behind the bar. The stools were gone. There wasn’t a single flicker of light in the entire bar. The windows had already begun to frost over with dust and he noticed a disgusting amount of litter along the once beautiful wood floor of the bar. Phil had never allowed any trash in or outside his bar, just like his father before him. He’d have thrown out a man for leaving a cigarette butt on the floor. Already, the sidewalk outside the bar door was littered with garbage, the ‘good patrons’ of New York doing everything they could to make the city as disgusting as possible.

How had his home fallen so far?

Crime ran rampant and he’d witnessed men beat little old ladies in the street for no reason other than their own unbearable anger. Bucky was doing everything in his power to stop those kinds of people from running wild, but it was as if those in power cared nothing about the citizens of their own damn city. His fists clenched beneath his jacket pockets as he thought about it, kicking a loose stone into the road. He knew he shouldn’t have been stewing on everything he hated about the world he was now living in, but what he saw was devastating. Was this how Steve felt when he first woke up?

He shook his head. Bucky couldn’t think about his old friend without bitterness resting heavy on his chest. He had been to see the old man a few times in the nursing home, happy he had gotten the life he always wanted. But he always stepped out feeling alone and tired. 

Bucky looked up from where he had kicked the rock, seeing another sign plastered on the building directly across the street from Wright’s. He crossed before he examined the sign that read, Velvet Vixen Bar and Grill. He peeked inside through the glass window. He saw a few televisions lined up on every wall, playing various stations of sports all at once. It almost made his eyes hurt to see so many different games playing at once with each TV having a different sport. There were a few people scattered throughout, tables set up in booths with miniature televisions on the walls beside them. It was a little early for a Wednesday drink, but a few people were sitting up at the bar, nursing various beverages. 

He turned his head away, intending to go home and grab a beer from his fridge instead. He would handle Alpine’s whining at his home drinking. But Dr. Raynor’s voice trickled into his ear unwillingly. Bucky stopped in his tracks. He could see his apartment building just a few blocks away. He turned back to look at the Velvet Vixen sign. The last thing he wanted was to become a home alcoholic. Sam would never let him live it down. He wasn’t an alcoholic, he knew that, but there was a difference between being able to stop yourself after one or two beers in public and repeatedly going back to your fridge until your entire six-pack case was empty. With a grumble from deep in his chest, Bucky turned around and walked the length back to the bar before swinging the door open.

He was immediately hit with the sounds of televisions mixing with music from overhead. The wafting smell of various greasy foods entered his nose as the door closed behind him. Bucky’s eyes unconsciously peeled through the entire room, noting every entrance and every exit. Every window and every door. Unfortunately for him, the only entrance was the very door he had just come through. At least Wright’s had a back door to the garbage.

“Good afternoon, sir,” said a perky voice. Bucky blinked when a young girl smiled up at him from behind the hostess’s stand. She looked about eighteen, perhaps younger. “Can I help you be seated?”

He managed to find his words enough to say, “I’ll just sit at the bar.”

“No worries!” she said with a bright smile.

Bucky gave his own tight, uncomfortable smile as he passed by the girl to sit at the end of the bar, closest to the exit. He kept his eyes downward, trying to keep the flashing lights of the televisions around him to a minimum as he stared at the dark wood of the bar. He waited a few minutes, bouncing his leg against the stool of the bar when a shadow appeared over the bar. He didn’t glance up as the bartender asked, “What can I get you?”

“Just a beer, please,” he said.

“You got a preference?”

He shrugged his shoulders lightly and said, “Whatever you recommend, I suppose.”

He saw the bartender tap her fingers on the bar as a way to say ‘alright’. Bucky looked around the rest of the bar, examining the other laughing patrons. There was a group of older women all nursing glasses of wine and sharing a large order of crispy french fries. A lone man sat at the bar, drinking Samuel Adam’s. A middle-aged couple shared a booth, ordering only water and a couple of cheeseburgers. His attention was brought back to the bar when he heard the tap of a glass on wood in front of him. This time he looked up from the dark brew to meet his bartender.

“You seemed like the kind of guy who’d enjoy a good Porter,” she said as she set the glass down in front of him. The first thing he noticed about her was her long, bright cherry-red hair that tumbled down her back. It was held back by a black headband over her head, her curtain bangs falling over her forehead. Large, black-rimmed glasses sat on her nose as her brown eyes met his. She was dressed in black from top to bottom, making the red in her hair stand out. “Hope you enjoy it.”

“Thanks,” he said, glancing down at the dark brew. “I… don’t really know.”

“Well,” she said with an easy smile, “we’ll see if my intuition is right. Which, it usually is.” 

Bucky managed a smile back before she walked away to tend to her next customer. As he drank his beer, he flickered his eyes over to her a few times. Given that it was early in the day, and a Wednesday, she didn’t have much action when it came to customers. But she was cute, he thought. Not a resounding beauty or someone he’d think to see in a movie, but just cute. She had a sort of button nose that would scrunch whenever the cash register refused to work, which happened an amusing amount of times in the minutes Bucky spent there. He looked back down at his drink, allowing the time to pass by. Before he knew it, he had finished his beer and set the empty glass aside. 

He managed to watch one of the football games on the television, more zoning out than really paying attention, before he heard her say, “Was I right?”

Bucky looked back at the bartender, who had already taken his empty glass. With an impressed tilt of his head, he said, “You were.” He watched as she pumped her fist in a small victory. The sight made him laugh. “I never really took much thought into the kind of beer I drank.” It was still taking him forever to truly figure out the difference between the things he liked and the things he was forced to have.

“I don’t have that luxury,” she said, gesturing to the bar behind her. “But I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Bucky took out his wallet and set the money on the bar. “Keep the change,” he said, causing her to raise her brows. “For the spot-on guesswork.”

“Oh, you can come back,” she said with a grateful smile. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. At least I know I’m good at my job.”

“Very good,” Bucky said. This time, he actually smiled as he stood from the bar.

“Have a good afternoon,” the bartender said.

“You, too.”

Bucky let out a long breath as he stepped out of the bar. The malt taste of the beer still hung heavy on his tongue as he began walking down the street back to his apartment. With a sigh, he knew he had to admit to himself that he would need to find a new place to bunker down whenever he needed it. Wright’s couldn’t be that place anymore, no matter how much he wanted to fight to make it so. He couldn’t say he particularly liked the atmosphere of the Velvet Vixen, but it was nice to have it close to his home like Wright’s was. There was so much going on within the Vixen, but if he continued to go back, perhaps he could learn to tune out the unimportant and focus only on his drink in front of him. Besides, the cherry-haired bartender wasn’t so bad to look at.

No , he thought, shaking his head. He couldn’t let those kinds of thoughts dictate his actions. He knew he liked the Vixen as a place to lay low after a long session with Dr. Raynor, and that was all that mattered. She’d be proud of him for even taking the first step and finding a new place to drink that wasn’t around in 1940. He, begrudgingly, knew she was right. Damnit, she always was. After everything that happened with the Flag Smashers and Sam taking up the shield, Bucky struggled to find his new place in the world that was remaking itself. Without Steve, who was he? There were still so many people across the country who saw him as the Winter Soldier. He just wanted to be Bucky Barnes, but he made it even harder for himself when he used that excuse to keep himself from the rest of society.

So, when the next week rolled by and he stepped off the train platform, Bucky walked on the other side of the sidewalk. He gave a glance to Wright’s, seeing the name had been stripped from above the door. He did his best to keep the burning sadness and roiling anger pushed down into his chest. It took everything in him not to rush across the street and peer into the windows again to see just how much worse the state of the old bar had gotten. He tried his best not to let his eyes linger on the garbage that was gathering in front of the door, or the window that had been broken by some lowlife already. Instead, Bucky let out a long breath to calm his nerves as he swung open the door to the Velvet Vixen. 

The same hostess welcomed him back with a bright smile, one she couldn’t seem to dim down. There seemed to be fewer patrons in the restaurant on that Wednesday, but the bar would always have at least one person holding themselves over a drink. Bucky knew it was just the nature of people. This time, it was an old woman who fiddled with the wedding ring hanging from a chain around her neck. He knew better than to wonder why she was there over a glass of whiskey. Instead, Bucky took the same seat he had just the week before and gave a light smile to the bartender as she sauntered her way over.

“Welcome back,” she said with her professional smile. This time, her long hair was pulled back into a loose braid, strands falling rebelliously around her face. “What can I get you?”

“That, uh, beer you got me last time. I liked that,” he said, leaning his arms on the bar. “You have more like that?”

She tapped her finger on the bar in thought before she said, “I could get you a Stout unless you’d rather go for the Porter again. Just to keep it consistent.”

“I think I’ll just take your word for it,” Bucky said. “Whatever you think is best.”

Again, her finger tapped in a rhythmic manner as she went silent, her eyes glazing over him. He shifted, suddenly uncomfortable with the attention. She must have noticed, for she turned her eyes downward instead before she said, “I’ll get you the Porter again. We don’t need to mix it up just yet.”

“Play it safe, it is,” he said. “Sounds good to me.” Truthfully, he was glad. He didn’t know whether his fragile composure could handle so many differences at one time. He was still getting used to the new bar. And while he would like to explore the things he liked, he thought it better to play it safe for now rather than become suddenly overwhelmed by the choice of beer he wanted to drink. 

“Alright, I’ll have that right up,” the bartender said. Her braid was loosely tossed around as she turned around to find the glasses. 

It didn’t take long before she returned, the dark brew in hand. She set a napkin down before placing the Porter in front of him with a pleasant smile. “Thank you,” he said before taking a sip. The taste was slowly becoming familiar to him. 

“Just holler if you need anything,” she said before she left. Bucky got a whiff of the scent of lilies before she walked away. He took a deep drink of his beer to keep himself from thinking about it and kept his eyes on his hands to keep himself from watching her. He could hear her low tones as she spoke to the older woman who sat in the middle of the bar. He knew he shouldn’t have listened in, but even with their whispers, his senses were dialed to eleven ever since he got the serum from Hydra. He could hear every word they were saying.

“Have you spoken to Jamie at all?” she asked.

“He wouldn’t want to see me,” the old woman answered. Her voice was gruff and raspy. “He thinks it’s my fault, what happened to his father.”

“Now, you and I both know that isn’t true in the slightest,” the bartender replied. Although her words were stern, her voice held an edge of soft comfort. Like a warm blanket. “He came in here just the other day, looking for you. He’s worried, Lory.”

“Then he can tell me himself,” Lory said.

The bartender gave a light sigh, but there wasn’t annoyance in the way she spoke. Just simple and pure concern. “Lory, I know you don’t want him to see you like this. But sometimes you’ve gotta let yourself find a shoulder to cry on. Jamie needs his mama just as much as you need your son.” She put a hand over Lory’s, giving her a small, comforting smile. “I’m not the one to tell you what to do. I just want you all to be okay. I know it’s been a few months, but some things still hurt long after they’re gone.”

Lory seemed on the verge of tears. “I don’t want Jamie to see me so weak.”

“You’re not weak. You’re mourning. It’s okay,” the bartender said.

Bucky tuned out the rest of the conversation as best he could, focusing solely on the soccer game above the bar to keep out of business that wasn’t his. But he couldn’t help but like the soft tones the bartender spoke in to comfort the poor widow. With another long drink of beer, he tried viciously hard not to think about it. Instead, he filled his time with meaningless red cards and multiple fake injuries. 

Before he knew it, his glass was once again empty and the bartender was standing in front of him, her professional smile light on her lips. “Still enjoying it?” she asked as she took the glass.

“Still enjoying it,” he replied. Bucky’s eyes flickered to the widow, who was standing and putting a phone up to her ear. From the voice on the other side, he could only guess it was the son he had overheard them talking about. 

Once the call had finished, the bartender called out, “Get home safe, Lory.” Lory nodded before meeting a young man outside the door, leaving just Bucky and the bartender. The casual conversations of a few restaurantgoers kept the situation from being overly awkward. “You want another?”

“Uh–” Bucky glanced at the clock on the wall, “–sure, why not?” Alpine would be angry when he got home later than usual, but she always calmed down once he held her.

“I’ll get that for you,” the bartender said.

As she was pouring the beer from the tap, Bucky bit his tongue before he said, “It was good of you. What you said to that woman.”

The bartender shrugged. “My job requires me to have to deal with difficult situations like that. But Lory I’ve known for a while,” she said. “She lost her husband just a few months after he came back from the Blip. She hasn’t had a chance to recover from either.”

Bucky couldn’t imagine that kind of pain. To lose your partner after just getting them back seemed a fate too cruel for anyone. “That’s horrible,” was all he could think to say.

“You see a lot of that around here lately,” she said. She wiped up a small spill when she gave him his beer. “Lory’s just had it worse than my average regular.”

“Well, you seem to know how to handle that kind of situation,” Bucky said. This urged a small genuine smile from her lips, not the plastered professional smile she needed to deal with unruly customers and new folks. “You’re good at it.”

“I’m just doing my best,” she said.

A silence fell over the bar before more patrons began to slip inside. Soon, the bartender was too busy taking other people’s orders to stop and talk with him. He didn’t mind, he knew she would be busy. But he liked listening to her talk. When he finished his second beer, she was right there to pick it up. He dropped his cash on the bar and once again said, “Keep the change.”

“What’s it for this time?” she asked, taking the money.

“Being a good person, I guess,” he said with a light shrug. That genuine smile came back to her face. It made him grin just a little bit. 

“I’ll take it,” she said. “Have a good afternoon.”

“And you.”

He was learning he did like the Velvet Vixen. If not for the great beer, then for the kind company and the friendly faces. Seeing the bartender handle the most difficult part of her job with such grace was a breath of fresh air from the horrible actions he would witness on an almost daily basis. He was doing his best to stop it in his own way, but she seemed to be able to put an end to that sort of violence in a more gentle way. In her own way. One he liked to see. It wasn’t often he saw someone talk so sweetly and so compassionately to someone going through hell. If he had someone there for him during his stint as a fugitive, his time in Romania would have been a lot easier.

So, if only to hear her voice again, Bucky went back again the next week.

His new routine was starting to become second nature. He opened the door, greeted the perky hostess, and sat down at the bar. When the bartender noticed him, she smiled and excused herself from her conversation with another bar-goer. Her hair was back behind the headband this time. “Seems I’ll have to add you to my list of regulars,” she said. “Beer?”

“You know it,” he answered. “And you have a list of regulars?”

“I’ve never been the best with names,” she said with a wince, pouring out the Porter. “When I first got this job, I started a list of people who would come and go on the regular so I wouldn’t have to ask their names a hundred times. It’s a big city and I get a lot of customers telling me their names.”

“That sounds awful,” he said with a laugh. 

“Just another part of the job. I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t found a way to handle it,” she said. “Although once more people started showing up after the Blip, it became more difficult. But even then, I was happier to see more people around here. It just meant a lot of people got someone important back.”

Bucky hummed. He remembered what it had been like to be one of those who had disappeared. He remembered waking up as though from a short nap, Steve missing and the rest of Wakanda rallying for yet another battle. She set his beer in front of him and he gave her a small ‘thank you’. “You’ve been working here since before all that?” he asked.

“Since I turned eighteen,” she said. “Six long, boring years.”

“How many regulars have you had since then?” he asked.

She took out a small notebook. He couldn’t help the huff of amusement that left his lips when he saw it, thinking of his own small crossed-out notebook. “Oh, I can’t count all these,” she said with a laugh. Instead, she showed him.

“Wow,” he said, flipping through the pages. Lines upon lines of names and descriptions to match littered the pages in quickly scribbled pen and pencil. “You’ve been busy.”

“When people find a bar they like…” she said with a shrug. “Speaking of, how did you find Velvet Vixen?”

“I used to visit Wright’s across the street,” he said, pointing a thumb behind him. “Been going there since I turned twenty-one.” True, but she didn’t need to know he had turned twenty-one in 1938. “They, um… closed it down. Said their payments were lacking and old Phil had to step aside.”

“What?!” the bartender shouted. A few heads were drawn her way and she meekly put her hands over her lips with a whispered ‘sorry’. The sight made him chuckle. “Sorry, but I loved Phil. He was the sweetest man I’d ever met. I can’t believe they’ve shut down Wright’s.”

“You didn’t know?”

“I get out pretty late most days,” she said. “Most times I’m too focused on putting one foot in front of the other without getting jumped to notice the street businesses.” Her expression turned adorably sad. “I feel horrible I haven’t even noticed. Phil liked to come in sometimes to say hi.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, sighing deeply. “When Wright’s went belly up, I had to find somewhere else to ‘shelter’, I guess. This place was closest.”

“Well, as much as I’m gonna miss Phil and his old Wright’s, you’ve been a great customer so far,” she said. She managed to smile. “And if you’re going to keep coming back through here, I’m gonna need your name to write it down so I can remember.”

“Only if I can get your name,” he said, his lip perking mischievously.

“You drive a hard bargain,” she said, feigning disappointment. She pushed her glasses up on her nose as she took out a pen and her notebook, flipping to the last blank page. “Alright, name?”

“Bucky,” he said. When she raised her brows, he said, “It’s a nickname. Bucky Barnes.”

“Bucky… Barnes…” she repeated as she wrote it down. He furrowed his brows, noticing there wasn’t a hint of recognition in his name. Or even his face. She was blissfully unaware of the man he really was. Either that, or she didn’t care. He would put his money on the former. People tended to care when they learned he was the ex-assassin who had tried to kill Captain America ten years ago. “Well, Bucky , in return–” she held out her hand “–Rowan Burke.”

“Good to meet you, Rowan.”

“Right back at you, Bucky.”

Chapter Text

Yet another name to add to her list of regulars.

Rowan always liked to watch when someone new stumbled into her job. She always wondered if they would be a one-and-done deal, or if she would have a new name to add to her ever-growing list. Some of them she loved, some she despised (of course she could never show it if she did). But all of them held a place in her notebook.

When he walked in, he had just been another customer testing the waters of the Velvet Vixen. Sure, Rowan had thought he was attractive… okay, ridiculously attractive, but he was still just another butt on the stools. When he refused to look up and meet her eyes, she kept her distance, knowing he would let loose only when he was ready. Lucky for her, it didn’t take long to find his blue eyes looking back at her when she handed him his beer. He seemed the kind of man to like a dark malt, and she had bounced between the Porter and the Stout for a little too long before she picked the winner. He seemed to have liked it, considering he dropped the most generous tip she had ever gotten.

Not to mention, he returned just the next week. 

Lory had been having one of the worst days Rowan had seen in her when he showed up again. The poor woman had to mourn her husband twice while trying to keep herself distanced from her son, all so he wouldn’t see her so broken. But Rowan liked to think that anything broken could be fixed, one way or another. It wasn’t her job to put those pieces back together, not for Lory and Jamie, but she would help find the glue if she needed to. Especially since she had watched their mourning process twice over and felt she needed to do something to help. She was surprised when he had spoken up, for she had ensured her voice was low so he wouldn’t hear her. But it felt good for someone to tell her she was doing a good job. Not many people did, not even her bosses. But it had been one of the first things he pointed out.

He had finally kept himself engaged in the conversation, meeting her gaze with his for their short quips. But it was good to see he was already becoming used to the environment. Sports bars weren’t for everyone, and he hadn’t seemed the type of man to enjoy the environment when he walked in the week before, head down and hiding his hands behind his jacket and gloves. But he seemed looser, more amenable the second time. And he once again gave her a generous and far-too-pricey tip with that easy grin as he said, “Keep the change.”

So, the third time he came back, she knew he was another name she needed to add to her list. And she finally had it. Bucky Barnes . She read over the name a few times. He had told her it was a nickname and she couldn’t help but wonder where such a name would arise from. Surely, some friend of his had good reason to name him thus. Perhaps she could worm it out of him after a few more mid-afternoon beers. He did give her his name for her regulars list. He didn’t even stop to think. Meaning he would most likely come back again the next Wednesday, and Rowan couldn’t help but smile at the thought. 

He had left not long after finishing his first beer, dropping his tip and leaving before she could even consider giving him his change back. That had been hours ago. Since then, the droves of late-night drinkers had burst through her door once the clock struck five. If it was five o’clock somewhere, it was New York City. Soon, she was running back and forth along the bar, taking orders and cleaning up spills like a mad woman. She loved her job. She loved bartending. But sometimes it was just ridiculous the amount of drinks people spilled when they weren’t paying attention.

She had pulled her hair back into a braid the second she got the opportunity, letting out a deep sigh as she regained her breath. For the first time all night, she could just take a minute to herself. However, she jumped when she felt someone put a hand on her shoulder. “Christ, Dahlia,” she said, her hand on her chest. Her friend just laughed, flipping her black hair as Rowan glared. “You do that every damn time.”

“And it’s funny every damn time,” Dahlia said. Rowan just rolled her eyes, an unwilling smile making its way up her lips. “You finally catch a break?”

“Yeah, but we both know it won’t last very long,” she said, nodding to the patrons at the bar. “I already spotted three different glasses that are half empty.”

“I’m more of a glass-half-full kind of gal, so I would say take this opportunity to just relax for a moment instead of thinking about the next drink to run,” Dahlia said. Rowan turned to her friend. She had always counted Dahlia as one of the most gorgeous people she had ever met. She hailed from India and traveled with her mother to the United States after her father left, giving her the deep black hair and beautiful tan skin. She had pointed lips and eyes that were turned up just enough to accent her lashes. “You can take this time to tell me if you got the name of that man you were talking so much about.”

“I wasn’t talking about him,” Rowan argued. “I mentioned him in passing , and you just latched onto it.”

“Because you haven't mentioned a man in over five years, Rowan. Let me latch!” Dahlia said. 

“I mention new regulars all the time so you can pass that information to your dad. You know, my boss? There is no other reason.”

“Really?” Dahlia said with a raised brow. “So the fact you described him as ‘ridiculously attractive’ doesn’t mean a single thing?”

“I can think a man is good-looking without there being any subtext,” Rowan said. Her eyes were peeled to the bar. Those three drinks had just become five.

“Okay, fine. Say I believe you,” Dahlia said, crossing her arms. “Did you get his name?”

“Yeah, for my regulars notebook,” Rowan said. She felt the sudden need to defend her decision.

“You always told me you would wait until someone turned up five times before allowing them to graduate to the regulars list,” Dahlia said with a teasing smirk. She elbowed Rowan in the side. “You like him!”

“It was very clear he was going to start making this a habit. He told me so himself,” Rowan said, scratching the back of her neck. “You’re fishing in an empty pond right now, Lia.”

“Because the pond has been empty for the past six years!” Dahlia said with a groan. “I haven’t heard you talk gossip about a man since high school and it is driving me insane.”

“We both know the last six years have been a little busy for me,” Rowan said. She let the defensiveness slip into her voice. “I didn’t exactly have the time to look for guys while I was taking care of Nathan.”

Dahlia’s eyes turned saddened. “Nathan has his father back now. You’re allowed to live a little. You missed the first half of your twenties. Let yourself live the next half.”

“I’m twenty-four,” Rowan said with a light chuckle. “It’s not like I’m ninety.”

“Maybe not, but you haven’t let yourself slip from the mindset that everything you do needs to be for Nathan,” Dahlia said. Rowan let out a long breath. “The next time that man comes in here, flirt a little. Get his number. I can see you like him, just a little.”

“It’s not appropriate to flirt with the customers, Dahlia,” Rowan said with wide eyes. “Just because you’re brave enough to do it doesn’t mean I am.”

“You’ve already flirted with him!”

“I don’t think you can count anything as flirting unless it’s intentional.”

Dahlia rolled her eyes. “I’ll keep my paapa off your back if you get his damn number.” Rowan pinched the bridge of her nose with a laugh, her glasses riding up under her hand. “What was his name, anyway?”

“He said it was ‘Bucky Barnes’. Some kind of nickname,” Rowan said.

Dahlia snorted. “That’s a strange nickname.”

“Still want me to get his number?”

“Even with a name like that, I need to see you go home with someone. Soon.”

Rowan tried not to think about it. The last time she had hooked up with someone had been just before the Blip. She soon became too busy to care and too busy to try to find someone to warm her sheets with. “It’s just weird. It’s been almost a year since Lucas came back, but I still feel like I need to save all this side money so that I can afford food for both me and Nathan,” she said. “Like I shouldn’t think about anything else but this job, my nephew, and my classes.”

“You were too young when your brother disappeared,” Dahlia said, her voice almost angry. “That shit fucks you up.”

“Yeah, trust me. I know,” Rowan said. Far too soon, a hand was raised at the bar. She flipped her towel over her shoulder and said, “Break’s over.”

“I’ll see you after?” Dahlia called, to which Rowan only nodded her head before rushing back to refill the man’s IPA. 

The rest of the night began to pass quickly as the rush began to increase. Before she knew it, it was eleven o’clock and the kitchen had closed, leaving only her to man the bar. There were a few stragglers, but given that it was a Wednesday night, many people had to get up for work the next morning. Those who remained were the regulars who usually needed to be tossed out before they got too drunk to even stand. Luckily, Rich, Dahlia’s stepfather, handled that mess to let Rowan go home. 

When Rowan closed the door to her apartment, she kicked off her shoes with a long breath before sliding down the door. She rubbed her eyes beneath her glasses, fixing them before letting her hair out from her braid. She leaned her head back, a thunk echoing from the wood door as she stretched her feet and legs out. As much as she liked her job, the late hours would kill her sooner rather than later. It didn’t help she had a three-hour class on Thursday down at the university, one that would force her up and out of bed by the ripe time of seven in the morning. With that knowledge, she reluctantly stood and trudged towards her bedroom where her warm shower awaited her.

She showered, changed, and brushed her teeth all with quiet thoughts. It was strange, not to hear the patter of a child’s feet wandering through her apartment. She still had yet to fully remove Nathan’s belongings from her room. She spit out the toothpaste, trying hard not to think about how much lonelier she had become since the Blip. Instead, she recalled a pair of beautiful blue eyes and a reluctant smile.

Rowan knew it was a bad idea to have such lingering thoughts about a customer, especially one she’d only met three times. But the Bucky Barnes was just gorgeous . He seemed somewhat familiar, but not enough to have her thinking hard about where she would have seen him. Instead, she thought about his strong jaw and plump lips, as well as the endearing five o’clock shadow that graced his chin and cheeks. Just enough scruff to have her grinning at the thought of him. She hadn’t properly flirted with a man since she was eighteen, she probably wouldn’t remember how to do it right. Besides, he seemed closed off and shy, despite his macho appearance. His black leather jacket paired with dark jeans gave off a very different vibe than the reclusive way he held himself.

Should she try to get his number? She wasn’t even sure she was bold enough to ask. As she slipped beneath the covers of her bed, she shook all thoughts of him from her head. They had only met three times. Rowan knew she shouldn’t go getting attached to a customer like him. She could just as easily scare him off with her pursuit. Not that she intended to pursue him. But… Dahlia had been right. At eighteen, when she should have been going to college and partying with her friends every Friday night, she was soothing her four-year-old nephew to sleep because he missed his daddy so much while she mourned her brother, as well as both her parents. 

She woke with a grumble in her chest the next morning, hating herself for signing up for college and cursing whoever invented three-hour block classes and mornings. With just enough time to read through a chapter in her textbook on Child Development for Educators, she slipped from her apartment with a bagel in her mouth as she walked briskly down the sidewalk to the train station. Soon, Rowan was seated in her lecture hall, her laptop in front of her and her phone on silent as her professor began his slideshow for the day. 

With just enough time to grab a quick lunch and finish some homework, Rowan was rushing back to her job when her phone rang. She nearly dropped it before slowing down enough to swipe and answer her brother’s call. “Hey, Lucas.”

“Hey, Ro. Just wanted to call and make sure you were doing alright. How are classes going?” her brother asked. She tried not to purse her lips. 

“Classes are going great so far,” she said, putting the phone on her shoulder as she pulled the door to Velvet Vixen open. Dahlia greeted her from a table, waving quietly when she saw she was on the phone. “I think my Thursday classes are going to be the end of me someday.”

“That’s your three-hour block, right?”

“Yup.”

“Man, those were the fucking worst.”

Rowan let herself laugh a little as she set her bag down and grabbed her apron. “I can’t even skip one day to sleep in because my professor will drop my grade ten points if I do,” she said.

“I never understood that policy,” Lucas said. “Anyway, apart from Thursdays, it sounds like you’re doing good.”

“Yeah, I am. Good job and I’m closer to my masters than I was before, so,” Rowan said. 

“Sorry to switch up on you, but I had a question I wanted to ask about Nathan’s habits.”

She put the phone away from her ear for a second to let out a sigh before she said, “Hit me.”

“How did you get him to keep his room clean? Every time I walk in there it’s like I’m tripping on a hundred different LEGOS. I doubt Stark’ll thank me in Heaven for stepping on his LEGO figure,” Lucas said. 

She didn’t want to feel sad or annoyed, but sometimes when Lucas called for the littlest things, it drove her crazy. “I found he responds best with rewarding. Nothing too big or unhealthy, just a little treat to help him keep his room clean. Like a little box of cookies or something that you only take out when he’s cleaned all his toys up,” she said. 

“I’m sorry. I’ve probably asked you this a hundred times before. I know you’re busy,” Lucas said. Rowan could hear the waver in his voice and guilt crept up into her heart.

“No, no, it’s okay, Luke. You know I’m always just a phone call away when you need to ask,” she said, trying to sound as charitable as she could. She felt horrible for being so annoyed, she really did. Lucas was trying his best.

“You think you can come visit him soon?” he asked. “He really misses seeing you.”

Rowan let out a long breath. She loved visiting Nathan just as much as he loved seeing her, but her schedule was so often horribly busy that she could barely find the time. “I’ll try to make my way over there soon. I think I have a Wednesday that I can open up if I ask Rich.”

“Don’t you have classes and work off on Tuesdays?”

“Lucas, Tuesdays are the only day I have to do any of my homework,” Rowan said. “I can’t blow it off even once. I’ll get way too far behind.”

“Okay, I get it. Just let me know when you’re free. Nathan’s antsy to tell you all about what he’s learning in school right now,” Lucas said.

She let herself smile. “Tell him I can’t wait to hear about it. I’ll try to be there as soon as I can find the time. My mid-terms are in a few weeks so I shouldn’t have as much homework, most of those tests are online anyway.”

“A few weeks?”

She tried not to roll her eyes. “Lucas, I’m trying here.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” She heard him sigh on the other end. “I’m sorry, Ro.”

“S’fine,” she said. “Listen, my shift is starting soon. I have to go. We can talk later and I’ll let you know if I can get off.”

“Okay, you take care. Don’t overwork yourself. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Rowan said and canceled the call. She dropped her phone in her back pocket and sighed. She took her glasses off and rubbed her tired eyes. Setting them back, she rushed out to greet her first customer of the day. 

#

“So, have you done your homework?”

For once, Bucky felt he could grin at Dr. Raynor’s condescending tone. “I have, actually. I found a new place to forget everything we talked about here,” he said.

“Hm. That’s good. Thought I’d have to beat it into you a few more times before you actually listened,” she said. She didn’t smile, she never did, but Dr. Raynor’s brows raised enough to show him she was impressed. “Tell me about it.”

“Like, what? The beer I drink?” he asked, laced with sarcasm.

“We could start there if it helps you build up to what you’re really thinking about,” Dr. Raynor said.

Bucky huffed. “Porter.”

“Brand?”

“Not sure.”

“You trusted a new bartender that much to give you a drink you’ve never had before?” Dr. Raynor asked. She seemed almost surprised.

He shrugged a little and said, “You said to dip my toes in the water.”

“You took that and dipped your toes in beer the first chance you got,” she said. “And you’ve been going back to this bar?”

“Beer was good,” Bucky said. 

“So, you’ll be returning today?”

“I don’t see a reason not to.”

She nodded, her pen between her fingers. “That’s good. You’re not actively trying to find reasons not to go. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“What- That’s your job.”

“And you’re stubborn as hell, Barnes.”

He really couldn’t argue with that.

As Bucky walked down the street after his session with Dr. Raynor, he felt his stomach lurch at the thought of stepping into the Velvet Vixen. He hadn’t told Dr. Raynor much about the bartender he liked enough to keep returning, just enough to show that he was doing what she wanted and stepping off to try and put himself back in the world. If buying beer from the Velvet Vixen was how he did that, Dr. Raynor wouldn’t stop him. Whether or not it was because of how endearing he found Rowan Burke was beside the point. 

The bell above the door jingled as he pulled it open. This time, he greeted the hostess before she could say hello and moved to sit down at the bar. There was Rowan, cherry-red hair held up with her headband just like before. He was glad. He liked seeing her hair down. When she turned to face him, he saw her smile. He felt warm, knowing she had enjoyed his company in her little bar to smile at his presence. “Seems I added you to my regulars list for good reason,” she said when she approached. “You want the Porter again?”

“Uh, actually, you mentioned a Stout one day, didn’t you?” he asked, folding his gloved hands on the bar. He noticed her gaze flicker down to them for a moment before she nodded. 

“Yeah, we’ve got a selection, but I would recommend the Guinness,” Rowan said. She playfully winced as she said, “I’m a bit of a Guinness snob when it comes to the beers I drink. But my family is Irish, so I have an excuse.”

“I’ve never had it,” he said. He hadn’t been able to afford a drink of Guinness before the war. 

She widened her eyes. “Oh, you’re having the Guinness,” she said, already stepping away. “It’s a bit of a process to pour it from the tap, so this’ll take a few minutes.”

“You’re the professional,” Bucky said, raising his hands.

He watched her as she carefully poured the beer from the tap, angling the Guinness glass until it was just a little over half-full, from what he could tell. She set it aside, took care of another patron’s drink, and returned to pour the rest of the beer with the glass straight up. When she returned, the Guinness logo faced him as she said, “Look to the horizon. Stand proud. Enjoy your Guinness.” When he laughed questioningly at her statement, she shrugged and said, “That’s how they do it in Ireland, I think.”

“That’s a lot for a glass of beer,” he said, taking the glass.

“Oh, trust me. It makes a difference,” she said and nodded for him to drink.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her humorously before he took a sip. He could feel her waiting eyes watching him as the powerful taste hit his tongue. It was incredibly smooth, with hints of coffee, and even chocolate, mixing with the alcohol. He set the drink down, looking at it with surprise as he said, “Wow.”

“I know,” she said. Pride laced her words.

“It’s like drinking velvet,” he said as he took another drink.

“Remember where you’re drinking, Barnes,” she said, gesturing outwardly to the bar.

“And this is your favorite beer?” he asked her.

“I said I was a Guinness snob. Never said it was my favorite,” she said.

“Then what is your favorite?”

Rowan let out a thoughtful breath, brushing a stray hair from her forehead back to her curtain bangs. “I don’t really think I have a favorite. I suppose it depends on what I’m having when I’m drinking. I like a good Blonde Ale sometimes, but like I said, I can be a Guinness Stout snob when the opportunity calls for it. When I drink with my brother and father, we usually pull the Guinness out to ‘honor the family’. With my friends, I usually go for the lighter beers.”

“I’m still trying to figure out if I prefer Stout or Porter,” he said with a grin. It fell a little, but he managed to keep it up for her sake. She didn’t need to see him moping about his long-forgotten past. Or his inability to understand what he liked.

“Keep coming back and I’ll help you figure it out,” she said.

“I plan to,” he said. He could have sworn he saw her cheeks turn red, but he assumed it was the reflection of her hair in her glasses. “You work every Wednesday?”

“Every day except Tuesdays,” she said with a long sigh. “Unless I can get someone to cover a shift. Sometimes Dahlia takes over when I’m in need of a break, but other than that, I can’t afford to take the days off very often.”

His eyes widened. “Sounds intense,” he said.

She gave a light shrug. “I love my job here. I like bartending and I like mixing drinks. I like the people I meet here, most of the time.” She gave him a small wink.

“I hope I’m on the list of people you like meeting here,” he said, taking another drink of Guinness.

“Eh, you’re working your way up there,” she replied.

Bucky grinned behind his glass as he said, “Guess I’ll just have to keep coming back to get on your good side. Besides, you seem to know your beer.”

“Wouldn’t be working here if I didn’t,” Rowan said with a playful smile. It scrunched her nose just enough to be endearing. 

“Well, you were right about the Guinness,” he said. “It’s different. But I like it.” It wasn’t often that happened. But, then again, it wasn’t often he found himself liking girls with colored hair either. Now that was certainly different. 

“Just you wait. I’ll be having you join the ‘Guinness Snob Society’ and before you know it, you’ll only drink Guinness,” she said. “Unless you somehow surprise me by saying you enjoy fruity lagers instead of dark ales.”

“I guess we’ll have to find out someday,” Bucky said and smiled at her. “But, so far, I think you’re on the right track.”

A heavy silence fell over them as he took another drink of Guinness. Rowan seemed to be thinking about something to say, by the way her lips opened a closed a few times in thought. Just as she went to speak up, someone shouted for her from across the bar. He could have sworn he saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes. The same kind that burrowed in his chest when she said, “The grind never stops. Let me take care of this, yeah?”

He didn’t have much of a choice other than to nod and watch her leave. Bucky continued to drink his Guinness, losing himself in the smooth texture and the mix of flavors that would burst every time the beer hit his tongue. All too soon, he had finished the drink and was left to stare down at the little harp that sat above the Guinness logo. His thumb ran against the paint before he set it aside and pulled out his wallet. If he stayed much longer, he didn’t think he would leave. He liked watching Rowan work just a hint too much.

When he set down his cash on the bar, she was suddenly in front of him again. “Leaving already?” she asked with a pleasant smile. He instantly recognized her professional mien.

“Yeah, sorry,” he said. He felt he needed to apologize for some reason, seeing the way she nodded. “I’ve got to get home or my cat will tear the place apart.”

Rowan raised her brows. “You have a cat?” she asked.

“I do,” he said. “What? You don’t like cats?”

She laughed at the humorous manner in which he spoke. “No, I like cats. I just never pegged you as the kind of guy to have a cat,” she said and snapped her fingers. “And I was so close to having you all figured out.”

“You can’t win ‘em all,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

When she took the cash, seeing his tip, she looked up at him with a shake of her head and said, “What’s it for this time?”

“The Guinness recommendation,” he said.

“Now it just seems like you’re paying me to like you,” she said, laughing underneath her words.

“Shit, how did you figure it out?” he said, feigning seriousness. He delighted in the way it lit up her eyes when she laughed. “But, seriously, you’ve deserved it. I don’t just hand out my appreciation.”

“Good to know I’ve worked hard to earn it,” she said, pursing her lips. Yet again, that desire to speak seemed to fill up her expression, but hesitation clouded it over. Soon, more patrons entered the bar, forcing her to say, “See you next week?”

“You know it,” he said. He stuffed his hands in his jacket before leaving the Velvet Vixen, giving one last glance through the window to see Rowan filling up another beer, chatting gleefully with the customers in front of her. Abandoning his desire to rush back inside, Bucky turned and headed back home where Alpine was impatiently waiting. He definitely didn’t try to think about the way he wanted Rowan’s eyes to light up like that when she spoke to him. And he definitely didn’t consider going back to the bar sooner than Wednesday, just to catch her unawares. But he knew none of that was a good idea, so as he lay down on the couch that night with Alpine curled up on his chest, he pushed all thoughts of Rowan aside no matter how much he wanted to linger on them.

Chapter Text

Bucky finished tying his shoes before throwing on a hoodie over his sleeveless shirt and pulling his gloves over his hands. Alpine meowed tiredly from her place on the couch, her tail twitching back and forth as she watched him get ready for his morning run. He stretched his tired and tense limbs out while ensuring his vibranium arm still hummed along nicely (of course it did, Shuri was an absolute genius). With a little kiss to Alpine’s fuzzy head, he grabbed his bottle of water and headed down his apartment complex to the sidewalk where his early morning began. Same place, same time, every day.

He found that running helped to ease the stress that would settle over his mind. The nightmares and memories continued to ravage his mind every single night, waking him up in the wee hours of the morning. It would take him longer than he liked to fall back to sleep, the insomnia settling in as his mind flashed visions of his deeds as the Winter Soldier. And each morning, he would wake with a feeling of resentment and hopelessness. The very idea of starting each day seemed to weigh heavier and heavier on his shoulder.

So, he began running.

His stamina let him run for long hours, waking up before six to start before the sidewalks began to crowd with people rushing to get to work. The air was turning warmer as winter began to fade into spring, making it harder to justify wearing a hoodie and gloves, but he’d rather have people look at him for wearing thick clothes than stare at him because they knew who he was. What he had done. Even with his help in stopping the Flag Smashers, some people still couldn’t see past his unwilling involvement in Hydra and their scheming. Not even an endorsement from the new Captain America could help him there. But Sam was still helping his sister get back on her feet after the Blip, and as much as Bucky enjoyed his time in Louisiana, Brooklyn was his home. No matter how much it changed.

He ran down a few blocks, passing Velvet Vixen across the street on his way down his normal running path. He almost stopped to glance inside, but it was far too early for a bar and grill to be open, especially on a Wednesday. Still, his eyes lingered on the red sign above the door. He had never thought the color red could be so endearing, especially not one so bright. But he couldn’t help the little smile that made its way onto his face when he thought about going back there. 

A light sheen of sweat was beginning to form above his brows and he turned to a steady walk, catching his breath. He already felt good to go again, but he checked his watch, seeing the time was just a little past eight. He had to get back and feed Alpine. As always, he turned to the small coffee shop at the end of the street and walked inside, waiting at the end of the ever-growing line of people desperate for their daily fix of caffeine. The first time he had entered the shop, he had become severely overwhelmed by the amount of choices in coffee. There were simply too many additional flavorings and embellishments nowadays, and he almost ran out before he remembered he had absolutely no idea how the coffee machine in his apartment worked.

Plain black coffee greeted him kindly as he took his order from the barista, who always liked to look him up and down like a piece of meat. She gave him a wink as he took it, and he gave her an awkward smile before quickly leaving the shop. Was that how all those girls felt back when he would smile and wink at them? More often than not, he’d end up dancing the night away with them, but what about those that didn’t? He wasn’t the same man he was back in the forties. He didn’t intend to chase skirts like he used to, nor did he have much going for him in terms of romance in the first place, apart from a few one night stands. Dating became difficult when you were a semi-public figure and a former assassin.

The sidewalk soon became more and more clustered, urging him to walk the rest of the way back to his apartment. He was midway through lifting his coffee to his lips when someone bumped right into his chest, almost sending his drink flying. Bucky’s reflexes acted quickly, grabbing his coffee and steadying the figure in front of him. “Oh, my God! I am so sorry, sir,” he heard, the voice painfully familiar. When he looked down, he caught a flash of bright red hair and the glare of glasses. “Is your coffee okay? Here, let me buy you another one-”

“Don’t worry, I caught it,” he said, allowing himself to laugh when she looked up and caught his eyes. Recognition instantly flashed in her gaze.

“Bucky!” she exclaimed in surprise. She looked him over as though she was trying to ensure it was really him. He supposed he only ever saw her in his usual jacket and jeans. “What are you doing here?”

“I run this way every morning. I live just a few blocks south,” he said, gesturing with his coffee hand. “What about you? I thought the Vixen didn’t open until eleven.”

“You can’t live there,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

“I can’t?”

“No, because I live south of here.”

Bucky blinked, looking from her to the street in surprise. They had lived just a few blocks apart from one another this entire time and he had never seen her before. It was hard to miss that cherry hair, now that he knew it. “Well, what do you know? We’re neighbors,” he said, smiling down at her. Now that they were both standing, he could see she stood just a few inches below his nose, likely average height for a woman. Still, it forced him to look downwards to meet her eyes. 

“Whodathunk,” she said, more to herself than to him. “What street?”

“Dean Street.”

“Fuck off. I’m on Dean.”

They’ve lived on the same street this entire time? “It’s a small world, I suppose,” he said.

“Really small,” she said with a laugh. “How have I never realized you live so close to the Vixen? I always see you walking out.”

“I’m surprised I never caught this,” he said, his finger brushing against a piece of her hair that had fallen awry. Rowan fixed it after he had and he smiled a little when he saw her blush at his touch. “Hard to miss that red.”

“It wasn’t always red,” she said with a shrug. Her eyes suddenly when wide as saucers as she said, “Oh, shit! I’m late for class. I gotta go!” She turned over her shoulder as he watched her run down the street toward the subway. “Nice to see you, Bucky!”

“Nice to see you too,” he said, waving at her before she disappeared. Bucky smiled to himself, lingering on the place she had disappeared before continuing his way back to his apartment. It was a risky idea, knowing she lived so close to him. Even after the weeks he had spent in that bar, he tried to convince himself he shouldn’t get too close to Rowan. Now, he was learning all sorts of things about the woman he wouldn’t have even attempted to know if she hadn’t nearly knocked his coffee from his hand. 

As he entered his apartment and fed Alpine, he thought how he had never enjoyed a morning run so much as that one.

#

Rowan groaned as she blinked her eyes awake that morning. Her apartment was blissfully quiet, and she sighed and snuggled into her pillow even further. Something poked at her mind, urging her to grab her phone and check her notifications, when she sat up, suddenly awake, as she looked at the time. “Shit,” was all she could say before she scrambled from her bed. She was late .

Her Wednesday class was a breezy fifty minutes followed by another fifty right after. As she struggled to pull her shirt over her head and brush her teeth at the same time, she nearly fell over before stubbing her toe painfully on the side of her bed. “Fuck!” she groaned, feeling the initial twinge surge into an unbearable pain. Her pinky toe soon became red, but she quickly threw on her shoes before grabbing her bag and running down the stairs. She stopped, groaned, and turned around to rush back up as she muttered, “Shitfuck!” and grabbed her laptop that sat charging on her kitchen countertop.

With no time for breakfast, her stomach growled angrily at her as she ran down the sidewalk, pushing past pedestrians who were in just as much of a hurry as she was. Her morning coffee had been skipped as well, making her deliriously tired as she struggled to pay attention to the people she pushed past. Rowan had never felt like more of an asshole than when she ran face-first into a solid chest, nearly knocking the coffee from the poor man’s hands. She felt him steady her with a firm arm, but she was so caught up in herself she didn’t recognize the blues that were staring down at her as she fussed over his coffee. When she finally looked up, she hadn’t been ready to see Bucky of all people walking down the street with a coffee in his hands.

It was strange to see him outside the bar, especially so early. He was dressed in a light grey hoodie with sweatpants and tennis shoes, so she could only assume he was out on some sort of morning run. With him standing, she could see he was tall and broad-shouldered. Even after the heat of a run with sweat shining on his face and neck, he still looked far too good. And when he smiled down at her with those baby blues lighting up, she nearly melted. It was becoming pathetic. Learning he lived on the same street as her was like God begging her to make a move, if not for herself then just out of pure convenience of their situation. Unfortunately for God, and herself, Rowan remembered all too quickly that she had a class to get to, and ran off with a single goodbye over her shoulder before she disappeared down into the subway station.

She always hated the subway. It was loud and crowded and smelled like piss. There were too many shady people jumping onto the trains and a sad amount of homeless lining the walls, begging for cash. Rowan was lucky to have found a seat this time, for she wasn’t always. Even so, she was still riding the high she felt from seeing Bucky. What started out as a shit Wednesday morning quickly turned into a bright day just by seeing his face. She hoped he was as glad to see her as she was to see him. But she really hoped he hadn’t noticed the way she had flustered when he pushed her hair from her eyes. It was such a stupid little gesture to get so worked up over. He didn’t even touch her with those gloves he always wore. 

Dahlia had given her shit for declining to ask for his number, but there were just too many factors working at once and Rowan lost her nerve before she could bring up the words. Besides, she didn’t want to be pushed into this situation where she only ever hoped to see him to get his number. Bucky was just a guy. Just another customer. Granted, he was a handsome customer, but he was just one nonetheless. Those hard and lingering thoughts almost made her miss her stop on the train, squeezing through stinking armpits and frustrated glares to jump off the train onto the platform. With a horrified groan at the time, she ran from the subway station down to the university. 

Her glasses almost dropped from her nose from how hard she tripped into the classroom, five minutes after 8:30. With embarrassment burning her cheeks as she sat, she winced as Professor Dillmond said, “Late, Miss Burke. That’s five points from your participation grade.” Rowan rolled her eyes. She was in class for her masters and her asshole of a professor still enacted participation and attendance grades like she was a freshman. Still, she kept quiet and took out her laptop, letting herself breathe for the first time since she woke up that morning.

After her two classes, she was given a chance to eat before Rich and Rina called her in for work. After her poor excuse of a club sandwich, she was on her way to work, meeting Dahlia halfway there once she had gotten out of her own classes before the two of them walked in together. 

“Lia, you’re gonna kill me when I tell you what happened this morning,” she said as they dropped their belongings in the back. 

“Like, a ‘good’ kill you because you haven’t told me yet, or a ‘bad’ kill you because you did something stupid?” Dahlia asked. She pulled her long hair up into a bun behind her head.

“Uh, both?” Rowan said with a wince. “I ran into Bucky on my way to the subway. Turns out we live just a few blocks down from one another. On the same damn street.”

Dahlia dropped her jaw. “Fuck off!”

“That’s what I said.”

“You’ve been living mere blocks away from a man that handsome, and you never knew about it?” Dahlia asked incredulously. 

“Trust me, I felt like an idiot myself when I found out,” she said with a laugh. She tied her apron behind her back. “Guess he was on a morning run or something. The only reason we haven’t bumped into each other sooner is because I was running late this morning and almost missed my class.”

“Fate is smiling on you right now,” Dahlia said. “Fate is also telling you that you should get. His fucking. Number. At least tell me you did that. Please, I need to hear the words come from your mouth.”

Rowan hesitated, wincing as she said, “I can’t do that because I completely forgot to ask. Again.”

“ Dhat teree ki! ” she cursed in Hindi. “You are utterly hopeless, Ro!”

“I know, I know. I’m a failure and oblivious to the attractions of men. Can I get to work now, please?” Rowan said. They walked out towards the bar where Rowan slipped behind as Dahlia leaned over the edge.

“It’s Wednesday, so I know for a fact that man is going to come through that door within the next few hours,” she said with a leer. “And if I hear that you failed, yet again, to get his number, I am going to force it from him myself the next time I see him!”

“Dahlia, please don’t,” Rowan said. She knew full well her friend would follow through on her threats.

“Then get that number because you deserve to get laid!” Dahlia said. Rowan tried to hush her friend’s loud outburst, for a few of the early patrons had begun to look over in confusion. “What? I’m trying to help my best friend be happy!” she said, albeit quieter. 

“I am happy,” Rowan said. She kept her eyes down on the beer taps in front of her.

“No, you’re mildly content,” Dahlia said. “That’s not happy.” When Rowan didn’t respond, she stepped up into the bar beside her and pulled her in for a side hug. Rowan didn’t hold her back, but she didn’t push her away. “I’m worried about you. Let your friend worry. I just want to see you flourish and what you’ve been doing now isn’t flourishing. I can ask my paapa to hire another bartender so you aren’t working yourself to the bone.”

“No, Dahlia. I need the money for…” Rowan started but sighed as she felt Dahlia’s piercing eyes soften on her. “I need the money.”

“You got into university with, like, a hundred scholarships on your back. You’re basically going for free. The only things you need to worry about right now are your grades and your apartment. Nothing else,” Dahlia said. “And I know ever since Lucas came back, you’ve been setting money aside in case this sort of thing happens again.”

“I can never be too careful. I wasn’t ready last time.”

“Rowan, you shouldn’t be thinking like that,” she said. Rowan rubbed her fingers against her forehead. “Your brother isn’t going anywhere, you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I know.”

“And you know that Nathan is always going to be taken care of, by you or your parents, yes?” Dahlia continued. 

“Mhm.”

“Hey, look at me.” Rowan reluctantly met her gaze as she said, “You need to give yourself the chance to care about yourself again instead of wondering about the wellbeing of the rest of the world. And you need to let Lucas figure out how to be a father again.”

“He’s not making it easy when he calls me every other day with another question. ‘How does Nathan like his broccoli? How do I calm him down from his homework? How do I get him to go to bed without lying to me?’” Rowan said. She felt Dahlia’s hands around her tighten. “I was forced to go from his aunt to his mom, now I’m his aunt again and I don’t remember how to do that without taking care of him.”

“You need to start with thinking about yourself first, please,” Dahlia said. “It kills me to see you like this.”

Rowan knew she was right. She hadn’t thought about herself since she was handed Nathan after Lucas disappeared in the Blip. Still, even after months had passed, it felt like she was still taking care of him. She still needed to work all day and all night just to afford a living for herself and a growing child, when she herself was still just a child struggling to balance college with being a mother of a four-year-old. “I’m trying. It’s just… after five years, it’s difficult to break a habit,” she said. “Not to mention an entire lifestyle.”

“Well, we’ll start with this,” Dahlia said, nodding her head to the door. Like clockwork, there was Bucky, opening the door and greeting Summer the hostess with his usual tight smile. “I won’t peel the number from him myself, I promise. I just want you to try.”

“Easier said than done,” she said, rolling her eyes. When Dahlia gave her a pointed look as she walked away, Rowan glared right back until they both laughed. Keeping her smile, she turned to Bucky and said, “Hello again.”

“Hi,” he said as he sat, dropping his hands on the bar. 

“Porter? Guinness? Or did you want to try something else today?” she asked.

She watched as he raised his eyes to think before shaking his head and saying, “I suppose I’ll have the Guinness again. It’s kind of got me in chains.”

“I told you,” she said, grabbing the glass. “Once you have one, you turn into a snob!”

“I don’t think I’m there just yet,” he said.

“Just wait,” Rowan said slowly. “You’re already asking for it a third time. Soon, it’ll be all you ever drink.”

“Now, don’t I remember you saying you liked all kinds of beers?” he said, raising his brow at her. 

She set the glass down, three-fourths full, and kept an eye on her wristwatch to time it. “I did, and I do. But when it comes to deciding what is the most refined beer, I always pick Guinness.”

“Ah, I see. So that’s what you mean by ‘snob’,” he said with a light laugh. “See, I don’t think I’ve ever been that kind of way, especially not with beer. I don’t really see that happening.”

“You say that now,” she said, finishing the glass up. She let it sit for another few seconds before placing it down in front of Bucky.

“Did you manage to make it to your class today?” he asked as he took a sip.

Rowan almost forgot about their little run-in from that morning. She had never thought he would ask about her classes, and so pushed it aside as soon as he had entered. But now he had opened the floodgates of that portion of her life. So, perhaps… they were becoming closer after all. At least, she hoped. “Barely,” she answered. “I was five minutes late and my dick professor dropped my participation grade five points.”

She saw his brows furrow. “That’s a thing?” he asked. “A participation grade?”

“Yeah. He’s a real stickler for it, too. He’ll deduct points if you miss class, even if you’re on your literal deathbed,” she said. “Family member died and you’re at their funeral? Too bad. Ten points lost for missing class. You fell off a building and became paralyzed? Ten points, gone. You should have dragged your ass to class.”

“That’s ridiculously strict,” Bucky said. “And just ridiculous in general.”

“Did you never have a professor like that in college?” she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Never went.”

“Oh,” she said, a little surprise making its way through. 

“I had the grades in high school, it was just too expensive. I mostly just worked down at the docks,” he told her. “Plus I had to take care of…uh, family.” He seemed to avoid her eyes for a second before hiding behind the Guinness glass. With a sharp inhale, he asked, “What are you in college for?”

“I’m getting my masters in Early Childhood Development and Education,” she said. “It’s been a hell of a process, but I’m getting there.”

“Oh, wow. You want to teach?” he asked. He seemed genuinely interested. When was the last time a man had been genuinely interested in what she had to say? Let alone her university classes?

“Yeah. Or at least work with kids in some capacity,” she said. 

“That’s admirable,” he said. “From what I’ve seen, good teachers are few and far between these days.”

“How do you know I’ll be a good teacher?” she asked, a hand on her hip. 

“You seem to be someone with enough sense and intuition to do the job well,” he said, lifting his glass as though to show his point. “And you’re very kind.”

Bucky smiled at her, causing Rowan to turn away to avoid getting caught in his blue eyes. “I wouldn’t exactly say bartending is a jumping point to teaching,” she said.

“Why not?” he asked with a shrug. “You deal with temper tantrums all the time already, as well as demanding assholes. Teaching is just doing that, but with children.”

She laughed at his words and said, “Yes, but I can’t exactly tell a child to get the fuck out of my classroom.”

“Parents, then,” he said. “Heard they can be just as bad as the students, if not worse.”

“You seem to know quite a bit about dealing with kids,” she said.

Bucky stiffened slightly, setting his drink down before he said, “I had three younger sisters growing up, all primed for tantrums every ten minutes.” Behind the smile was a hesitant sadness Rowan picked from his words. 

“Where are they now?” she asked.

“I lost touch with them a while back,” he said. There was a finality in his statement that urged her to stop pressing the subject. Something about his sisters wasn’t a topic he wanted to discuss. She could see the way he retreated back into his reclusive shell, as though his leather jacket would protect him from her questions.

To bring him back, she asked, “So, you know what kind of work I do on the daily, but what do you do to pay the bills?”

At this, he hummed, seemingly thinking, before he said, “Light government jobs, here and there.”

She let out a theatrical gasp and said, “You’re a government croney!”

The sparkle found its way back to his eyes when he laughed, something she was grateful for. “God, I feel like it sometimes,” he said. “But it’s mostly fieldwork for my time in… the military.”

Rowan should have known. The way he held himself, the way he noted every inch of the bar, the running, not to mention the battered look in his eye. She should have realized he was military. “Well, thank you for your service,” she said, giving a miniature salute.

He seemed to hesitate again before Bucky nodded and said, “Thank you.”

“Rowan!” she heard Rich call her name and reluctantly turned from Bucky’s side with an apologetic look his way. Once she found Rich at the end of the bar, he said, “I’m gonna let you go off early today. I want to start training another bartender I hired so you can have a few days to get home before twelve.”

“You hired a new bartender?” she asked. Fear flooded her veins. “Why?”

“You’ve been working yourself to the bone for years,” Rich said softly. “I don’t think I’ve seen you take a break since I gave you this job.”

“If you’ve hired a new bartender, shouldn’t I be the one training them?” she asked. Anything to find just a little more cash to set aside.

“Not this time,” Rich said. “I’ve got it handled. His training will be light, he’s already bartended before. I just need to show him the lay of our land. But you need to rest , Rowan. We’re all worried about you.”

“So I’ve heard,” she said, the words bitter on her tongue.

“You’ll be working fewer days, but other than that, your schedule shouldn’t change much,” he said.

“Did Lucas call you?” Rowan asked, crossing her arms. 

Rich gave her a disappointed look. “No, he didn’t. And even if he did, I’ve been considering hiring a new bartender for a few weeks now. After everyone came back, business started booming and you’ve been burning rubber trying to keep up.”

“I’ve been fine-”

“No, you haven’t,” Rich said. “This isn’t negotiable, Rowan. This is what is best for you.”

Rowan bit her tongue to keep herself from firing back at her boss. She knew Rich liked her, especially considering she was so close to his stepdaughter, and he was just trying to look out for her. But it wasn’t his job to do that. She had been doing just fine watching over herself for years. They didn’t need to start worrying now, of all times. “Am I clocking out now, boss?” she asked. She let the irritation slip in.

“I want to take this time to show Theo around,” Rich said. That was his way of saying ‘yes, get out’. Although he would never say it in such a way. 

“And my schedule for the rest of the week?” 

“Hanging on the board by the kitchen, like always,” he said. She’d never had to check before.

Rowan nodded and said, “I’ll clock out, then.” She could almost taste the blood from how hard she was biting her tongue. 

Rich nodded his head and waved a young man over to the bar. He had shaggy blonde hair and tattoos up and down his arms. He gave her a kind smile as he spoke to Rich. Rowan approached Bucky, giving him her best smile, when he asked, “Everything alright with your boss?”

“Fine,” she answered. Her finger tapped against the bar as Bucky finished off the last of his glass. “Do you want another?”

“No, I’m alright,” he said. He looked from her to Theo and Rich and something told her the sympathetic expression he was giving her was because he overheard the entire conversation. Great. He dropped his cash on the bar. “I’ll see you next week?”

“Hope so,” she said. His lack of questioning proved her suspicion. He said nothing. Bucky simply nodded and gave her a goodbye before he headed out the door. With him went her last customer, allowing her to rip off her apron and march to the kitchen to check her new schedule. She had Thursday off as well as Saturday. There went her biggest tips of the week. At least she still had Wednesday. Rowan thought she would pitch a fit if she missed a week of Bucky turning up. 

She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture before retreating to the backroom. The familiar sound of the phone ringing on the other end filled her ear before Lucas picked up and said, “Ro! What’s going on? You never call after noon. Something wrong?”

‘Yes’, she wanted to say. Instead, she said, “No, nothing’s wrong. I wanted to call and tell you I got off work early today and I wanted to see if I could drop by to visit you and Nathan.”

She could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “We would love that. I’m on my way to pick him up from school now. You can drop by any time today.”

“Good. Tell him I’ve missed seeing him. I’ll have more time to drop by nowadays,” she said.

Lucas went silent for a moment before he asked, “Is everything alright, Rowan? Did you get laid off?”

“No, nothing like that,” she said. “Rich just hired a new bartender so I wouldn’t be working as much.”

“And that’s… good, right?”

“I suppose,” she said. “It’s nothing. I’ll deal with it. Just tell Nathan I’ll be there in a little bit. He can tell me everything he’s learned about in school.”

“He’ll be happy to hear that. Alright, I’m pulling up to the school now, gotta let you go so I can chat with the teachers. See you soon, Ro.”

“See ya,” Rowan said and tapped off the call. She took her glasses off to rub her tired eyes before shoving her phone with the rest of her belongings and heading out of the bar. She resisted the urge to look down the street to see if she could catch Bucky still walking away, but she knew he’d be long gone by now. Dahlia would skin her alive for forgetting to ask for his number again , but this time there was just too much on her mind to even consider asking. Perhaps next time, although she would likely pretend to forget again just to keep her life on the path it was already swerving off of.

She didn’t bother to change from her work clothes and went straight to the train station. Another reason she had neglected to visit her brother and nephew was the distance they lived from her. Rowan always had the excuse of their living so far away she could never make the ride before she would have something else she needed to do. It wasn’t that she actively avoided going to see her family, but her world became infinitely more complicated on a thousand different levels when Lucas disappeared and returned. She was still trying to wrap her head around the entire ordeal.

When she knocked on their door, she looked around the little cul-de-sac Lucas had managed to snag. She was almost jealous of his job, which allowed him to work from home while still making thousands more than her every day. When Lucas answered the door, she barely had time to say hello before she was nearly knocked to the ground by the force of her nine-year-old nephew hugging her around the waist.

“ Oomf- ” she let out when Nathan crashed into her.

“Auntie Ro!” he said, grinning from ear to ear. Nathan was a handsome young boy who took after his father in black hair and dark eyes. “You’re here!”

“I managed to snag some time to come and see my favorite person in the entire world,” she said as Lucas led them back inside. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here, bud.”

“You’re here, that’s enough,” he said, squeezing her tighter before finally letting her go. “I got onto the soccer team at school!”

“Nathan, that’s wonderful!” Rowan said.

“Dad got me new cleats and everything! He even got me a new soccer ball so I can practice at home too,” Nathan said, dragging her by the hand as he led her through the house. “Can I show you? Please!”

“Nate, let’s give Auntie Ro a minute to settle down,” Lucas said. “She just arrived, let’s not forget our manners.”

Nathan looked from his dad to his aunt. Rowan knew what he was waiting for and said, “Your dad’s right, bud. Don’t forget to give your guests some time to get comfortable, remember?”

Nathan nodded. “Okay, we can play soccer later ,” he said. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but if Nathan asked… “I’ll show you what my teacher’s been showing us in school!”

“I’d love to hear all about it,” Rowan said. Like lightning, the boy was gone, running off to his room.

Lucas turned to his sister, pulling her into his side and pressing a kiss to her temple as he said, “I’m glad you could come. We’ve missed you, Ro’.”

“I’ve missed you too, you sappy asshole,” she said. She heard Lucas laugh before he let her go.

“You want something to drink? Water? Juice? Beer?” he asked, leading them to the kitchen. 

“A little early for a beer, isn’t it?” she asked.

“In the words of Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffet,” Lucas said as he opened the fridge and handed her a beer, “it’s five o’clock somewhere.”

She looked at the label and eyed him carefully. “Too cheap to splurge for the good stuff?”

“I reserve Guinness for when Dad is in town,” he said, grabbing a beer of his own. “Besides, I thought you weren’t picky?”

“I’m not,” she said, popping the twist cap. “But you’re right. Guinness is for when Dad drops by.”

“Have you heard from him? Or Mom?” he asked as they sat down at the table.

Rowan took a sip of beer and shook her head. “I think they’re still trying to figure out living situations after they lost their house to the Blip. They haven’t contacted me, though. You?”

“Not a word,” Lucas said. 

The patter of running echoed from the hallway and soon Nathan was right back beside Rowan, setting his school textbook on the table in front of her. “I’m learning all about Captain America. Did you know he punched Hitler right in the face?” he said, flipping through his textbook.

“I did not,” Rowan said, sending an amused smile to Luke. 

“Do you know how he became Captain America?” Nathan asked. When Rowan shook her head, he stopped on a page that showed Steve Rogers with hundreds of men behind him. “He broke into a Hydra base and saved a bunch of guys from the Nazis all by himself. Look!”

Nathan shoved the textbook in her face, forcing her to take the book and hold it steady. Beside Steve Rogers was his Howling Commandos, or the beginning of them at least. She remembered learning about the Commandos when she was in elementary school, but it had been so long ago she could barely remember any of their names. “This is so cool, Nate,” she said. 

“He went in to save this guy–” Nathan pointed at the soldier standing directly beside Rogers, “–and ended up blowing up the entire base in a huge explosion.”

Rowan looked at the man beside Rogers. On the side, it said his name was ‘James Barnes’. She hummed and said, “Wow, they must have been good friends.” She couldn’t help but note how much this James looked like Bucky. Younger, sure, and quite impossible given this photo was taken in 1943, but the resemblance was uncanny.

“The best ,” said Nathan. “Like Jakey and me!”

“How is little Jakey?” Rowan asked. She absent-mindedly brushed some of Nathan’s hair from his eyes. An old habit.

“They both made it on the team,” Lucas said, grinning proudly at Nathan. “Isn’t that right, Nate?”

“Yeah,” Nathan said. He barely looked at his father as he said it. 

Rowan felt Lucas shift in his chair, looking down at his beer bottle as a heavy silence fell over the table. “Hey, why don’t we all head outside and you can show your dad and me some of those soccer moves that put you on the team,” she said. 

“Yes!” Nathan exclaimed, leaving his book on the table.

“Hey, don’t forget to take your homework,” Lucas called. Nathan hesitated but followed his father’s orders. The adults stood once he had left. Lucas put his hands in his pockets as he said, “He still hesitates to do anything I say.”

“It’ll get better, Luke,” Rowan said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “He just needs time.”

“Ro, it’s been almost an entire year. He barely thinks of me as his dad anymore,” Lucas said. 

“That’s not true and you know it,” she said. “Hey, look at me.” It took him a moment, but Lucas finally met her eyes. “He was four when you disappeared. Five years is a long time. This isn’t going to go away like flipping a switch. I’ll do what I can to help, but in the end, you need to make sure you’re doing what you can to help him get through this too.”

“Fuck aliens,” he said, letting out a deep sigh. 

“I wholeheartedly agree,” Rowan said. “Come on, don’t keep him waiting. He’ll think we aren’t interested.”

Rowan watched her nephew shoot goal after goal to his little net in Lucas’s backyard. She cheered each time, caring little about the fact that it was just him on the field. Lucas joined, and finally, Nathan was smiling as he played with his father. There was a big reason why she hadn’t visited him as often as she wanted to, and it was staring her right in the face as Nathan shot past his dad and scored another goal. If she kept standing in the way of Lucas trying to be a father, Nathan would continue to see him as just ‘a dad’ and not ‘my dad’. Still, the little moments she shared with her family warmed her heart enough to even get her out of her seat and onto the playing field. 

Chapter Text

Rowan gagged as she ate the last brussels sprouts in her fridge. Too busy to fix the mistake, she had been eating the groceries that had been wrongly delivered to her door instead of the ones she had actually ordered. She never had the time to go grocery shopping throughout the week before the Blip reversed and always ordered online when she found a spare ten minutes that she wasn’t studying or working. But last week’s delivery had gone wrong, leading to her getting some veggie-nut groceries instead of her college-age junk and microwavable meals. 

Oh, and good wine.

She had given the Instacart deliverer a stern one-star, but she hadn’t found an opportunity to go fix the mistake he had made and buy new groceries. So, she ate them as best she could. She relied on Velvet Vixen’s kitchen for dinner, but breakfast had been skipped more days than one because she simply couldn’t stand the taste of the veggie muffins any longer. Lunch… she normally went without lunch and just combined it with dinner when her days drew on long. She regretted it most days, but she just didn’t have the time to stop and watch flowers grow while she chowed down on a Panda Express box.

Or, she used to not have the time. In the two weeks since Theo had been hired, Rowan had more time than she really knew what to do with. She worked for as long as she could on the days she was scheduled, coming in early and leaving when the last patron had finished their drink. She spent as much time on her homework as she possibly could, finishing essays and assignments that had been weighing on her mind for far too long and turning them in with time to spare. She even started working ahead in a few of her classes, reading ahead in her textbooks, and starting essays on topics she hadn’t even covered yet. She had cleaned her entire apartment from top to bottom and reshelved all her books on her Tuesday off when she realized she had nothing to do. All to keep herself from going insane from the hours she was spending in her apartment.

And, finally, when she ran out of vegetable-related foods from her last week’s delivery, she sighed in relief. Not only because she could find her own food now, but because she actually had a reason for leaving her apartment other than work or school. Perhaps she would switch to shopping for her own groceries every week now if only to give herself some semblance of control over a life that was derailing before her very eyes. Well, maybe not derailing, but it was changing before she had time to even realize it was happening. Like always, she went to call Nathan to tell him she was heading out for a little bit, only to remember he was no longer there. At least this time, she hadn’t actually called his name.

With her purse on her shoulder, she walked down the street to the little grocery store that was closest to her apartment. Rowan grabbed a shopping cart and pushed it through the doors, which slid open for her to reveal the rows upon rows of food. She let out a long sigh, knowing she would be here for a while. She hadn’t been to this store since she moved in, having been too busy to stop and actually go shopping. Now, faced with the daunting task, she pushed forward and headed towards the deli. 

She shopped around for a little while, the front wheel on her car letting out a high-pitched squeal every few seconds when she made a turn into the next row. Her cart was filling up with each pass, for she knew she would have to actually make herself food on days she didn’t have work. A shame, considering she had no idea how to cook. A lot of her dinners with Nathan had been microwavable suppers or heating up dino-nuggies, for she had been too busy and too tired to actually cook a home-style meal. It was one of her greatest regrets about her time with Nathan in her custody. She had many, but that one stuck out to her, especially considering she didn’t live up to the idea of a Tennessee home-cooking mother.

The thought made her want a drink.

She turned into the alcohol aisle, eyes roaming over the different wines that lined the rows. Bitter and sweet clashed against her mind, but after the horrible wine she had been burdened with the entire week before, she was determined to find the best to get her through the rest of it. Movement from across the hall turned her eyes to the only other person there. She blanched when she saw none other than Bucky Barnes roaming his eyes over the different bottled beers, hands in his jacket pockets. There was something endearing about catching him unawares, seeing him in his natural state. From there, she could see his side profile and strong jaw. His stubble had been shaved down just a little, but still poked through enough to be considered a five o’ clock shadow. 

She pushed her cart forward as she said, “Still having trouble deciding which beer to pick?” When he looked at her, his confusion quickly turned to surprise. Then, elation. He smiled and looked down at his shoes. “And here I thought I had it all figured out for you, Bucky.”

“All of a sudden, I see you everywhere, doll,” he said. The term of endearment was strange, but Rowan didn’t mind it. In fact, it damn near made her blush again. “How come I’ve never seen you in here before?”

“I usually get my groceries delivered. I’m just too busy to make the stop and actually do the shopping,” she said. “But last week they screwed up my order with someone else’s and I ended up getting some vegetarian diet-crazed lunatic’s groceries who likes cheap and shitty wine. I finally found the time to fix their mistake today.”

“You can get groceries delivered?” he said in awe, as though some great discovery had just been made.

“Where have you been?” she asked with a laugh, grabbing a bottle of Stella Rosa black. She thought for a moment, looking between the second bottle on the shelf, before grabbing the second and setting it in her cart.

“Planning on having a party?” he asked, eyeing the bottles.

“Nope. All me. I’ve been surviving on cheap wine all weekend. I need a good fix for the rest of this week,” she said. She nodded to the multiple beers lining the walls. “What about you? Are you trying to get out of visiting my bar, Barnes?”

“Never,” he said. “I’m having a friend over tonight. He’s finally back in town from visiting his family, and he is very picky about the kind of beer he drinks.”

“Well, what’s he like?” she asked.

“In my opinion,” Bucky started, becoming hilariously stern, “he’s a guy who never knows how to shut up, y’know?” She hummed, trying to keep her amusement down. “Very outgoing, very annoying.”

“This guy is your friend?” she said, raising a brow.

“More of a co-worker. A partner, I suppose,” he said with a careless shrug. 

“Ah, he works for the government too, then,” she said, feigning distaste.

“Uh, not exactly,” Bucky said. “But we do… collaborate on certain projects.”

She examined him carefully, causing him to turn to look back at her. “I’m guessing these projects aren’t exactly told to the general public,” she asked. She couldn’t wrap her head around him. He was an enigma, one that became more and more confusing with every new thing she learned about him. Sometimes it felt like she wasn’t learning anything at all. Every answer forced more questions in her head. 

“You’d be right,” he said. He gestured to the beer again. “So? What do you think he’d like?”

“What’s his name?”

“Sam.”

She hummed and nodded, looking over the beer. With an inhale, she pulled an amber from the shelf and dropped it in his hands. Bucky raised his brows at her as she said, “I’ve never met the man, but I hope he likes a good amber ale. He seems the kind, from what you said.”

“You’re that good?” he asked.

She gave a small shrug, feigning innocence. “I like to think I am.”

“I like to think you are too,” he said. When she looked at him with wide eyes, he stuttered over his words a little before saying, “I mean I think you, uh, are good at reading people.” He cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at her. “And your job, in general.”

“I get it, Buck,” she said with a laugh. He seemed to visibly deflate in relief, allowing himself to laugh before another group started to filter into the alcohol aisle. He grabbed the edge of her shopping cart by the front and helped her lead it out of the way. Where she struggled to push it, he barely seemed to notice the amount of food and wine that filled the cart, pulling it easily to the side with her following. Her mind went to places it definitely should not have gone, wondering what kind of muscles he was hiding beneath those layered jackets. “Damn, you mind pushing my cart to the checkout?” she said with a chuckle.

“Do you want me to?” he asked. She hadn’t meant for him to take it seriously. “I could.”

“No, Bucky. You don’t have to do that,” she said, taking the handle at the back. He leaned against the cart, raising a brow. “I was joking.”

“I don’t see why I shouldn’t,” he said. “We are going to the same place. Might as well stick together.”

“Don’t you have the rest of your shopping to do?” she asked. “I’d hate to make you do this just ‘cause I joke too much.”

Bucky laughed lightly and said, “Trust me, Red, Sam and I aren’t going to do much other than sit and drink beer. Besides, I got the rest of my shopping done earlier in the week.”

Red . She tried not to let the name go to her head as he pulled up beside her and took the shopping cart from her hands. “Bucky, really, you don’t have to-”

“I want to,” he said, his expression softening. She fell quiet at the look in his eyes. “Maybe I just want to get to know you outside of your job. Break that ‘customer-worker’ barrier.” Bucky quickly turned hesitant. “As long as that’s alright with you-”

“I’m more than okay with that,” she said. Warmth bloomed in her chest when he smiled down at her. 

“Good,” he said, and quickly took the shopping cart from her. “Besides, you’ve got so much stacked up in here I doubt you’ll be able to carry this all the way back to your apartment.”

“I’ve got some tote bags I’ll use,” she said. 

“Rowan, this thing is nearly filled to the brim. You’re gonna need some help,” he said. “I can help you walk these back to your apartment, if you need me to.”

“I don’t want to make you my pack mule,” she said as they approached one of the checkout aisles. “I’m not as weak as I look.”

“I didn’t think you were,” he said. The way his gaze roamed over her body filled her with heat before he seemed to catch himself and turned to the cashier. He paid for his beer and stepped aside, allowing Rowan to push forward and pay for her groceries. She nearly groaned out loud when she saw the price, but put her card in the reader and watched over two hundred dollars flow from her bank account to the register. It took a few minutes longer to pile all her food into the bags before she shoved them all into the totes she had brought. It all just barely fit, but Bucky had been right. They were heavy . 

When she put the cart back, he didn’t even hesitate to take two of her bags in his hands with his own beer sitting on top. She marveled at the way he barely even strained. “Aren’t those heavy for you?” she asked as she lugged her own two bags. 

He was quiet for a moment before he said, “Yeah. I just exercise a lot and lifting stuff like this has become second nature. I barely realize it anymore.”

“Must be nice,” she said. Her arms were beginning to shake from the weight of her groceries. Just a few more blocks she told herself. 

“If you need me to take one of yours-”

“No, I got it,” she said in a rush. She saw him grinning in amusement out of the corner of her eye, rolling them. Before she could protest, she felt the weight of the bag on her right shoulder disappear as he brought it into his grasp. Bucky shifted his weight until he was comfortable, then carried right along. “Bucky, come on. That has to weigh a ton.”

“I told you. It isn’t as bad as you think,” he said.

“At least let me take your beer.”

“Not happening, Red.”

“This just doesn’t seem fair at all,” she said, rushing to catch up with him. If he could carry these totes so easily, Rowan wondered how easy it would be for him to pick her up…

She shook her head of those thoughts, chewing on her lip to keep herself occupied before she thought too deeply about such a vision. “Hey, I always meant to ask,” he started to say, breaking her from her thoughts, “why the red?”

Rowan shrugged her shoulders as best she could and said, “I always liked red. People told me it was ‘my color’ when I was growing up, so I kinda took that and made it my entire personality in high school.” She heard him laugh beside her. “But it wasn’t until I hit college that I actually dyed my hair red. My parents would have killed me if I came home with this before I turned eighteen.”

“What color is it naturally?” he asked.

“Blonde,” she said. “It’s the only reason I’ve continued to dye it so I don’t have to fry my hair with bleach every time I want to keep it red.”

“Well, it looks nice,” he said. 

Trying not to let the compliment go to her head, she said, “Thanks. Although, every time I meet someone new, they always say I look just like Ariel with glasses. It gets a little annoying.”

“Ariel?” he said. 

She looked at him, seeing genuine confusion in his eyes. With a bit of a quizzical tone, she said, “The Disney princess?” Did he genuinely not know who Ariel was? With three younger sisters, he had to know at least some of the princesses.

There was a moment of silence before Bucky nodded and said, “Oh, yeah. Right. Ariel. The princess.” 

“I mean, I did grow up loving The Little Mermaid, but it wasn’t like I was actively trying to be her by doing this,” she said, gesturing to her head. “What, did your sisters never try to dye their hair as a rebellious phase against your parents?”

She said it jokingly, but the way his face fell told her she had struck a nerve. Just as she was about to apologize, he smiled and said, “If any of my sisters had come home with that kind of hair, they’d be out of the house before they could even try to argue.”

“Would you be the one kicking them out?”

“No, I’d be the one convincing them to do it in the first place,” he said. She laughed aloud at his words. “I wasn’t the best influence growing up, but I still watched out for them.”

“Of course. You’re the big brother, that’s your job,” she said, stifling the way her voice wavered. Her arm was seriously beginning to feel as though the circulation was entirely cut off. She didn’t understand how Bucky was holding two of her bags in his left hand without any sign of strain or even a sweat. He had to be hot in all those layers, especially with the gloves.

“You said you had a brother,” he said, causing her to raise her brows in surprise. He remembered that? “What’s he like?”

“Like any brother. Annoying as all hell,” she said, sending him a grin as he rolled his eyes. “No, I love my brother. Although he did torment me an egregious amount of times when we were kids. He was four years older, so he felt he had a right to be an asshole, y’know?” Bucky merely hummed. “But when it really came down to it, he cared. Beat the crap out of my first boyfriend after we found out he cheated on me.”

“Christ, your first boyfriend?” Bucky said. She nodded and he scoffed. “Kids these days. I’d kick his ass too.”

“You aren’t that much older than me,” she said. “You don’t exactly have the right to be saying that about my generation yet, Bucky.”

Yet another strange silence at her joke. “I just mean, y’know, in general,” he said, giving her a quick smile. “Kids. People. How they act, it’s like children.”

“You’re not wrong there,” she said. Far too soon, they had reached her building. “This is me.”

“Wow,” he said, looking from her apartment building to the street. “You really aren’t that far from me at all.”

“Where’s your apartment?” she asked, setting down the groceries, if only to give herself a break from the heaving weight. 

He followed her, pointing out to a smaller, less conspicuous building near the end of the road. “See that stop sign? I live in the building just past it.”

“Oh, you do live close by, don’t you?” she said. He was close. Very close. In order to help point out his building, he had stepped up right beside her, allowing her to catch a whiff of his cologne. It wasn’t too much, like some people she passed in the street that made her cough up a storm. It was light, almost woodsy. There was just a hint of whiskey in his musk. 

Rowan stepped away before she leaned in, taking out her key fob and opening the building door. “Do you need help carrying these into your apartment?” he asked, looking from her to the pile of groceries. 

“Uh…I think I’ll be alright,” she said. Her hesitation said everything she didn’t have the guts to.

“Do you have stairs?”

She pursed her lips and said, “Maybe.” When he raised a brow at her, she said, “Okay, I could use the help. I just don’t want to put you out more than I already have.”

“It’s no trouble, Rowan, really,” he said. “I’ll just help you drop them off at your apartment door. I won’t try to force my way into your living space, I swear.”

She really wanted to say she wouldn’t mind it if he did try. Instead of risking her entire friendship with him, she said, “Alright, as long as you’re sure. I already feel bad making you my pack mule from the grocery store to here.”

“I would gladly be your pack mule,” he said, picking up her groceries. “For as long as you need me to be.”

She held the door open so he could step inside before leading him up the steps to her third-floor apartment. If Rowan was being honest with herself, climbing these stairs with those bags would have been the end of her. Plus, seeing Bucky walk so easily up the stairs just proved he was as much of a beefcake as she would have hoped. In return, she carried his case of beer, to even the odds just a little. He refused to give her anything other than that. They reached her little blue door and he carefully set the bags down, meeting her eyes as she played with her keys.

“Thanks for your help with this,” she said, handing him back his beer case. “I think I would have died if I had tried to trudge up those stairs with all that.”

“It wasn’t a problem,” he said. “Besides, I’d hate to see you dead just because you refused my help.” She hummed in response. Bucky opened his mouth to speak but stopped. Instead, he simply said, “I’ll see you around, Red.”

Oh, for God’s sake. She was an idiot. 

“Uh, Bucky!” she called a little louder than she intended. She turned around as soon as she called his name. Her stomach roiled with nerves as she said, “Seeing as we’re neighbors, perhaps I should give you my number. You know, in case I need another pack mule.” If Dahlia had seen her poor attempt, she would have slapped her on the head.

However, relief flowed through her as Bucky smiled and returned from the few stairs he had gone down. “I think you’re right,” he said. He pulled his phone from his pocket and held it out for her. 

Rowan tried not to let her excitement show as she tapped in her number before sending herself a small text. “There you go,” she said. The tell-tale ding echoed from her phone. Sure enough there was the small text she had sent herself and Bucky’s number above it. “Don’t wear it out.”

“No promises,” he said. She wasn’t sure how she hadn’t become a swooning mess under his gaze yet, but she was getting a little too close with him standing there staring at her with that debonair smile. “See you on Wednesday.”

“Yeah, see you then,” she said. She hated seeing him leave, but boy did she like watching him walk away. He turned the corner down the stairs, disappearing from her view and allowing her to actually focus on dragging her groceries inside. 

After a painstaking process of pulling the tote bags into her apartment followed by the grueling effort of putting all her groceries away, Rowan collapsed on the couch with a long sigh. She pulled out her phone and immediately put Bucky’s name in her contacts. Already, he had texted her.

–Bucky: Let me know if you ever need another pack mule next week :) 

She texted back her response before pulling up Dahlia’s contact and pressing the call button. She waited impatiently, picking at the fabric of her couch before she finally answered.

“Hey, you’re lucky you caught me on break,” she said. “What’s up? Wait, don’t tell me. You finally admit to me that Kingo is the greatest actor in the universe.”

“Okay, first of all, I can’t agree with you on that because Cillian Murphy exists,” Rowan said. She heard Dahlia’s grunt of disappointment. “Second of all, no. It’s something better.”

“Well, don’t leave me dangling on the edge here,” Dahlia said. 

“I ran into Bucky again. At the grocery store,” she started, hearing Dahlia’s excited intake of breath. “God, Lia, he was such a gentleman. He helped me carry all my groceries back to my apartment. And I finally, finally got his number like you’ve been begging me to do.”

“For fuck’s sake, finally!” Dahlia squealed. “Took you long enough!”

“I know, I know,” Rowan said, laying back on the couch. Her hair sprawled out around her head. “But, Dahlia, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy carry that much and not even break a sweat. He had all four of my grocery tote bags in his hands and carried them up three flights of stairs!”

“Ugh, I want him to pick me up,” Dahlia said, causing Rowan to burst out laughing. “Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t have the exact same thought.”

“My shame permits me to plead the fifth,” she said. “I barely know this guy, Lia. There’s still so much about him I don’t know.”

“ But that’s the fun part. Why do you think we read all those ‘shadow daddy’ books in high school? To prepare for a man like Bucky!”

“Oh, God, don’t remind me of those. I can't believe I ever thought those books were good literature,” she said. “And Bucky isn’t… like that. He’s just reclusive.”

“Okay, focusing up here, is there anything you are truly concerned about when it comes to Bucky?” Dahlia asked, turning frightfully serious. “I don’t want to root for you to fuck him if he’s got some major skeletons in his closet.”

“We all have skeletons.”

“Yeah, but I’m talking about literal bodies. Fresh. Or literal skeletons.”

“That movie really freaked you out.”

“The guy was literally eating his dates, Ro! I can’t help but be a little concerned.”

“You really don’t show it when you flirt with the customers,” Rowan said pointedly.

“I’m allowed to flirt and have fun and take a guy back to my place if I want. I’m just careful about who I pick,” Dahlia said. “Anyway, seriously. Is there anything Bucky has said or done that is screaming red flags at you?”

“He avoids questions sometimes,” Rowan said. “Or he doesn’t give me all the details. But I can’t expect him to answer everything I ask. Everyone has secrets and boundaries. But…” she trailed off.

“But what?”

“He’s always got those gloves on,” she said, playing with the end of her hair. “I didn’t question it when we first started talking, but it’s really starting to warm up outside. He even had them on today when we were walking back from the grocery store. It's over seventy-five degrees out!”

“Maybe he’s hiding some crazy injury or something. He said he was ex-military, right?” Dahlia asked.

“Yeah, maybe,” Rowan said. “Right now, whatever it is, it’s his business. We’re not exactly on the friendship level of regaling each other with our deepest secrets. I mean I haven’t even told him about Nathan yet.”

“These kinds of things will come around when they do,” Dahlia said. “ Like you said, you’ve only ever known each other from behind the bar. Getting to know someone takes a while.”

“I thought you wanted me to jump his bones?”

“I still want you to, Ro’. You need to get laid, bad. And a man as attractive as Bucky doesn’t just wander through the door every day.”

“No. Just every Wednesday.”

They shared a laugh, but Rowan could hear the sound of the kitchen ramping up as Dahlia said, “Okay, break time’s over. I gotta get back to it. But I need to hear everything about this encounter the next time I see you, got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Rowan said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you then.”

Rowan ended the call, letting out a long breath as she stared at Bucky’s contact in her phone. It had taken her far too long to find her guts and ask him for it. Then again, he hadn’t been forthright in giving it to her until she had asked. Was he truly interested as he seemed, or was he just being a thoughtful neighbor? Was she reading too much into his kindness? Surely, he wouldn’t have carried her heavy groceries up three flights of stairs for just a simple acquaintance. Her thumb hovered over the keypad, itching to text him something, anything, to ensure their strange little relationship. In the end, she closed her phone and tossed it aside. She grabbed her wine, poured a glass, and covered herself in blankets. For the first time in five years, she let herself relax as she watched reruns of Friends . 

#

“I don’t know who this bartender friend of yours is, but he has good taste in beer.”

Sam grabbed yet another bottle from the case Bucky had bought, popping off the cap and taking a deep sip. “Are you going to drink the entire night, or are we going to work?” he asked, gesturing to the files Sam had brought. The new Captain held his hands up in a surrender position, rejoining Bucky in the kitchen. “And it’s she.”

“Your bartending friend is a woman?” Sam asked. When Bucky sighed, he backed off and said, “Relax, man. She seems to know her stuff.”

Bucky didn’t exactly relax, not with the way Sam had asked about Rowan with that stupid little smirk of his. Still, he picked up the satellite image and said, “You said this was their last known location?”

“Yeah, but they’ve been moving around faster than we can track,” Sam said. His serious persona had taken over. Bucky felt Alpine rub her cheek against his calf. “Duplicating, relocating, disappearing. It’s all happening before Ross can get his guys out there to check it out.”

“Duplicating?” Bucky asked.

“We think they’re kidnapping members of nearby towns, coercing them into service,” Sam said, pulling out another file from beneath the pile. “In every place they’ve settled for longer than a week, missing person reports in nearby settlements pop up.”

“Do we think Hydra?” Bucky asked. His jaw clenched at the thought of Hydra picking back up all over again.

“If they were Hydra, I feel they’d leave a little statement behind to let us know it’s them,” Sam said, taking a sip of beer. He let out another impressed noise, one that made Bucky roll his eyes again. “Damn, that’s good. Never thought I’d like an amber.”

“You’re focusing way too much on the beer, man,” Bucky said, taking a sip of his own. He hadn’t bought a case for himself and took to drinking the amber Rowan had convinced him to buy. A smile accidentally crept up onto his lips as he thought about his day, glancing at his phone. When he had walked out of her apartment, he sent her a small text to let her know he’d be there when she needed it. He hadn’t been able to let his smile drop after she replied.

–Red: I’ll be sure to ;)

He tried to keep his emotions in check, especially when it came to these situations, but Rowan was so endearing. She was sweet and funny, and unbearably adorable. He never pictured himself finding interest in a girl with glasses, but all it did was make him want to push them back up on her nose every time they slid down. Every time he closed his eyes to meditate once noon hit, he would see a flash of red and her cute smile before he let his mind clear. He hadn’t had the opportunity to do his meditations that day with Sam’s arrival, but it didn’t stop Rowan from latching onto his mind and burrowing her way into his chest.

“Uh, it seems I’m not the only one focusing on something too much,” Sam said, breaking Bucky from his thoughts. “Damn, Buck, I’ve never seen you so lost in thought. Is something the matter?”

“Nothing,” he said, picking up his phone. He chanced a glance just to see if she had texted anything further. Should he be the one to text first? He was the guy, but dating and relationships had changed so drastically since he was at his height. Was the hell was the ‘talking stage’? Friends with benefits? There were so many new things he didn’t understand. What happened to taking a girl out dancing? Or expressing genuine interest?

“Oh, I know that look,” Sam said, now smiling just a little too wide. “I know that look real well. That bartender ‘friend’ you mentioned? Maybe she’s just a little more than a friend.”

“How many people have gone missing-”

“No, I’m not letting this go,” Sam said with a laugh. Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. “You like her, don’t you? And don’t try to lie to me, man. I can tell when you do.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes at him. “No, you can’t.”

“I can, actually. You have a tell.”

“I do not. I physically can’t have one, Sam. I was trained to be inconspicuous.”

“To strangers, maybe,” Sam said. 

“Well, what is it?”

“Like hell, I’m telling you. Then you’ll do everything in your power not to do it.”

“Yeah, because I shouldn’t have a tell.”

“Okay, forget the tell,” Sam said. “Tell me about this girl.”

“It’s-” Bucky grumbled low in his chest, annoyance creeping in. “It’s nothing, Sam. There’s nothing to tell. She’s just… a friend.”

“That’s how they all start,” Sam said wistfully. He put a hand to his chest and said, “Look at him, Alpine. He’s smitten.”

Meow she said from beneath Bucky.

“She disagrees with you,” he said, taking a long drink. He sadly finished off his beer.

“No, I think she agrees. That sounded like an agreement to me,” Sam said. “Come on, tell me about her, Buck.”

Bucky knew Sam wouldn’t let it go until he divulged something about Rowan. Giving him a shit-eating smile, he said, “She’s a bartender.”

“Yeah, I know that , dipshit,” Sam said. Bucky was glad to hear some irritation had mixed in with his excitement. “What does she look like? Is she nice? Mean? I really hope for your sake she isn’t mean.”

“She’s not. She’s… very kind,” Bucky said. He stepped away from the files on his kitchen island, leaning against his countertop with folded arms. Okay, maybe they had some time to talk about it. “She’s funny and incredibly sweet. She’s got this, uh, bright cherry red hair. It’s impossible to miss her in a crowd. She wears glasses, which I never really thought of as something I liked before… everything. But on her, they’re cute. And she’s so good at reading people. She always knows what to say.”

Sam was grinning wildly, punching Bucky lightly on his arm as he said, “I’m happy for you, man. She sounds lovely. Did you get her number?” He turned jokingly serious. “You do know asking for her number is, like, the basis of dating, right?”

“Yes, I got her number,” Bucky said with a bite. “Just earlier today, actually. I helped her bring her groceries back to her apartment. She lives just down the road.”

“Being a gentleman. That’s good,” Sam said, nodding lightly. “That’ll put you in her good graces real quick.” Bucky looked down at the floor, flexing his left hand lightly. “Hey, I can see something’s eatin’ at you. What’s the matter?”

“She doesn’t know who I am,” he said. Sam’s reaction was of quiet understanding. “Either that or she just hasn’t brought it up, but she didn’t seem to know that four bags of food weighs the same as a feather to me.”

“You gonna tell her about it?” Sam asked. 

“I… I don’t know,” Bucky said. He scratched the back of his neck as he sighed. “Part of me wants to run from her before I end up hurting her. One way or another, it’ll happen. And if I ever caused her pain, I don’t think I could live with that. But the other part of me just, Jesus,–” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “–just wants to see this all the way through, regardless of the consequences.”

“Look, Bucky,” Sam started, “you’ve worked hard to be where you are today. I don’t think you can go through all that growth and come out the other side the same man you were before. I know if you really want to see where this girl takes you, you should at least try. You deserve that kind of happiness, more than anyone else I know. Talk to her. Tell her about who you are. See where things go from there.”

“What if she doesn’t think I’m worth it?” he asked. He hated showing this kind of vulnerability, but Sam always understood it better than anyone. “What if I tell her, and she never wants to see my face again?”

“That’s just a risk you’ll have to take,” Sam said. “But from what you said about her, she doesn’t seem the kind that would leave just because of your past.”

“I don’t exactly have the same kinds of skeletons in my closet other people do, Sam,” Bucky said, a self-deprecating laugh leaving his chest.

“You are impossible to pep talk,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Okay, look, here’s what you should do. Text her and tell her you gotta say something important. Meet somewhere easy and tell her the truth. I’ll be your Genie on this one, you be my Aladdin.”

“What?” Bucky asked. He watched as Sam rolled his eyes.

“You need to look at that list of movies I sent you and actually take the time to watch them,” Sam said. “Robin Williams is a treasure in Aladdin .”

“I don’t know, Sam. Texting her something like that seems a little daunting,” he said, playing with his phone. “We only just exchanged numbers. Isn’t that jumping the gun a little?”

“If there’s one thing I know about today’s dating scene,” Sam said as he sat down on the couch, “it’s that everything involves jumping some kind of gun.” Alpine curled up in his lap and Sam whispered a few babied words to the cat, who purred at his attention. Traitor Bucky thought. “Look, if you really want to wait, then wait. Tell her about the Soldier in your own time. But the longer you take, the worse the blow will be to her when you finally do. And definitely don’t ask her out before telling her.”

Bucky opened Rowan’s contact on his phone, his thumb hovering over the keyboard as he tried to think of something to say. He knew he should tell her, he had to. But texting something so ominous as Sam had said seemed a bad way to go about it. He wanted it to come up naturally, in person. Not from some half-assed text the day he had finally gotten her number. With a sigh, he put his phone away. “I’m not gonna text her about this,” he said. “I’ll tell her the next time I see her.”

“Which will be when?”

“I see her every Wednesday at the bar she works at. I’ll tell her then.”

“And can I have the name of this bar?”

“No.”

Sam snapped his fingers in disappointment. “I had to try.”

Chapter Text

It started with a simple ‘good morning’ text.

Rowan was just about ready to leave her apartment for class when she heard a ding from her phone. Confused, she pulled it from her pocket as she locked up her door, thinking it was Dahlia telling her not to bother coming in for work that day. She almost neglected to look at it at all until she saw it was Bucky texting her. A smile had spread on her face as she opened the text. She almost forgot she had class that day until she rushed out of the door, still high on the feeling of Bucky’s little text.

–Bucky: Morning, Red. I couldn’t wait until next Wednesday to talk to you again. Good luck with your classes. You always said Thursday was the worst.

From there, she texted her own small response until the two of them chatted the entire ride through the subway to her university. Rowan once again nearly missed her exit, jumping off at the last second as she kept her eyes peeled down at her phone. She knew getting so caught up in their conversation was ridiculous, but it flowed so smoothly. Bucky was always there to answer and never ghosted her (on purpose). She found texting him to be easy and fun, and soon she was glancing down at her phone every few minutes in class to see if he had texted her back. She knew he hadn’t, for he had told her to focus on her studies instead of their conversation on movies. 

That one day turned to days of almost non-stop chatter between Rowan and Bucky. Her work ethic for her homework had suffered greatly because of it, but she found she had more time on her hands to balance her time with Bucky with her work and classes. They would talk late into the night, only stopping when one of them told the other to finally go to sleep after three failed persuasions. They always ended up kicking up another conversation before someone finally looked at the time and called it quits. And every morning, Rowan would wake up to a morning text from Bucky. She knew he woke up earlier than her for his runs, but she wanted to catch him with a good morning text first at least once. 

Those days led to Monday, one of Rowan’s slowest work days. This only led to her checking her phone more often than she needed to. She had just finished giving a man his whiskey when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket and turned around to smile at the screen. She felt like a schoolgirl too caught up in her stupid crush to focus on anything else. She would be ashamed if she wasn’t so happy that Bucky was actively engaged in their conversations. 

–Bucky: What do you mean you’ve never listened to Ella Fitzgerald?! Don’t tell me you prefer the white noise music has become. This is make or break, doll. LOL

Rowan laughed under her breath at his adorable use of acronyms, shaking her head as she typed up a quick response. He was getting better at texting, but she couldn’t get over his insane need to correctly punctuate every single sentence.

–Sorry, Buck. That ‘white noise’ is country/rock and it’s all you’ll ever hear in Tennessee

“Someone’s occupied.”

Rowan hurried to put her phone away as Dahlia slyly grinned at her. She turned back to her customers to refill a beer before saying, “I don’t know what you mean, Lia. Just doing my job.”

Dahlia scoffed and said, “You never go on your phone at work. This is the third time today I’ve seen you grin at your phone like a maniac.”

“I’m not ‘grinning like a maniac’,” Rowan said, wiping her hands free of spilled alcohol. “And, you were the one who always said I don’t have to be talking to a boy to be grinning at my phone.”

“That’s what I say to my paapa when he asks who I’m talking to,” Dahlia said. “Lord knows I’ll never tell him. But that doesn’t apply to you, Ro, and you know it.”

“What? Why not?”

“Like I said! This is the first time I’ve ever seen you on your phone at work, not counting Friday. Which, yes, I did see you giggle. And, yes, I do have it recorded.”

“I’ll take you to court for that,” Rowan said, pointing threateningly. “Recording me without my permission? That’s low, Lia.”

“Try it,” Dahlia said with a laugh. “I’m not trying to shame you, Rowan. I’m happy for you! I’ve never seen you so giddy and it makes me giddy to see it.”

“I’m just talking to a friend,” she said. She greeted the newest customer with a smile, checking the time. Just one more hour until the bar closed. “Nothing to be ‘giddy’ about.”

“What friend?” Dahlia asked, crossing her arms.

Rowan cleared her throat as she said, “I’m starting to get a little busy, so I should probably get back-”

“What. Friend?” she repeated. “Because I know for a fact you don’t have any other friends than me.”

Rowan gave her an offended scowl. “Ouch.”

“Hey, that just means I get more time with you to myself,” she said and smirked. “But, I fear, no longer. It’s Bucky, isn’t it? Please , tell me it’s Bucky.”

With a shrug, avoiding Dahlia’s eyes, she said, “So what if it is? Like I said, he’s just a friend.”

“I don’t think he’d be texting so much if he wanted to be ‘just a friend’,” Dahlia said with a laugh. 

“Well, we just don’t know that, do we?” Rowan said. She wanted this conversation to end as soon as possible. She loved Dahlia, so much, but the woman didn’t know when to let things go. Especially not when it came to possible suitors, for her or for Rowan. 

“That’s what interrogations are for,” Dahlia said, emphasizing her words. 

“Really, Lia, it’s no big deal,” Rowan said. “Now, please, I have to clean up soon and you still have tables that need waiting on.”

“Eh. This is America. They’ll tip big either way,” she said, glancing at the restaurant.

Rowan scoffed. “Not everyone will.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll let this go for now, but only because it’s late and I can see you’re on edge about it,” Dahlia said, lifting her hands. “But, you know you have to keep me updated, right? That’s what best friends are for.”

“Yes, if anything happens, I will inform you immediately, General,” Rowan said with a roll of her eyes. She saluted. “Not saying it will, but here’s to hoping.”

“Yes! That’s the spirit!” Dahlia said, clapping her hands.

She finally left Rowan alone after the agreement. As much as she wanted to hope Bucky was talking to her so much because her infatuation was shared, she knew it was unlikely. She wasn’t exactly the kind of woman a man would fall head over heels for. Still recovering from the Blip and buried nose-deep in her work and classes with so little free time to herself. A job that had her working until eleven or midnight usually left a bad taste in most men’s mouths. But just talking with Bucky was good enough for her, for now at least. She knew if he was going to evidently walk away someday, she’d enjoy what moments she could snag from him while she had the chance. 

She bid farewell to Dahlia and Rich, who always stayed behind to close, before leaving the bar. Rowan let out a breath, feeling the warmth of spring beginning to seep through her jacket, forcing her to take it off. She pulled out her phone, opening her texts to see if Bucky had responded to her. A smile lit up her face when she saw his notification, but she put her phone away as she continued. She didn’t need to be distracted this late at night. Keeping her eyes peeled, she briskly walked down the road towards her apartment building. She was forever grateful for the ten-minute walk from her job to home, and the even shorter walk from her home to the subway. 

Footsteps shuffled behind her, and she felt her heartbeat pick up in her chest. It’s okay she reminded herself. You’ve walked this road a thousand times. Nothing has ever happened . Still, as she peeked a glance over her shoulder, she swallowed heavily when she saw it was a large man with his hood over his head, eyes to the ground. At least, they were, until he looked up to meet her gaze. It wasn’t someone she knew, but he seemed awfully familiar. He was stumbling, swaying back and forth in a manner that tipped her off to his inebriated state. She quickly turned her head back to the sidewalk, picking up speed, and slipped her hand into her bag where her concealed handgun rested.

The footsteps behind her began to quicken, forcing her to walk faster. Her heart pounded in her chest and her blood ran like a riotous river in her ears. The hand on her gun tightened, and she clicked off the safety, keeping her finger off the trigger. It wasn’t until she heard the grunts of a man running towards her that she started to bolt, but all too late. Before she could even let out a scream, the man behind her grabbed her by her hair and shoved her into a nearby alley. Rowan felt her glasses fly off her nose and the world became a terrifying blur as she grabbed the gun from her bag and held it up. She couldn’t aim straight, giving the man the perfect second to grab the gun from her hand and turn it on her.

“Not a sound,” he said, his voice rough and low. Rowan held on tightly to her bag as he pulled her up and pushed her into the wall, stepping on her glasses in the process. At least, that’s what she thought, for the sound of crunching glass beneath his boot flowed into her ears before she felt the barrel of her gun pressed underneath her chin. “Your money. Give it to me. All of it.”

Now that he was close to her, she could see it was the whiskey man from the bar. From what she could make out, he was still severely drunk. She tried to shake her head, saying, “Please, don’t. Please, I need my-”

“Do I look like I give a shit about what you need?” he said, spittle flying from his lips. She closed her eyes, trying to turn her head away, but he brought up a hand to grasp harshly at her cheeks. “Your money. Now. Or I put a bullet in your head and take it.” His voice was so slurred, she could barely make out what he had said. But his intentions were clear enough. Rowan tried her best to keep her tears at bay as she slipped her hand into her bag and pulled out her wallet, but she felt a stray one slip down her cheek. The world had turned into one giant blob beneath her nearsighted eyes and her pooling tears. “There’s a good girl,” the man said, snatching her wallet and stuffing it in his pants. 

“You have your money now let me go!” she said, louder than she intended. 

The man burrowed the gun deeper beneath her chin. “Shut your fuckin’ mouth. We’re not done yet.” Rowan felt the blood drain from her face, screaming out before his hand went over her mouth. But just as the man went to turn her for whatever his sick, twisted plans were, he was dragged backward by the scruff of his neck. 

“Get the hell away from her,” she heard her rescuer say. Shocked filled her chest, recognizing the gruff voice as Bucky’s. She knelt, feeling for her glasses before finding the broken lenses and slipping them over her eyes. There was just enough left to finally see Bucky’s face, pure anger and malice written in his normally soft blue eyes as he faced down the whiskey man.

“Get outta my way,” the man said, raising his gun. Rowan let out a scream, almost ready to jump in front of the bullet, but all Bucky did was raise his left hand around the barrel and close his fist. The gun fired, but with a ting, the bullet harmlessly bounced from his palm just as he crushed the gun barrel before kicking his thigh. The man was brought down to his knees, where Bucky struck his ribs with his steel-toed boot before he punched him right in the nose. She swore she heard the crack of ribs shattering and the sickening pop of his nose. 

Rowan was frozen, her body shivering against the musty ground as she blinked herself back to reality. She watched as Bucky pulled out his phone and dialed a number before he said, “Hey, I’ve got an attempted robbery here on Dean. The assailant is out cold. Seems he broke his ribs in the fall.” He spared a glance down at her, trepidation in his mien. “Victim is unharmed. I need you to pick up the robber.” There was silence for a moment before he said, “Thanks, man.” When she stood, she could see Bucky was doing his best to remain as still as possible. For her sake or for his, she didn’t know. “Rowan-”

“He shot you,” she said, her voice shivering. “Your hand-”

“Blocking bullets becomes a lot easier when you’ve got a vibranium arm,” he said. He still hadn’t met her eyes, but he took off his glove to reveal the black and gold interlaced ridges of his prosthetic. Rowan’s jaw dropped, looking from his hand to his face. Oh God. She was so stupid. So, so stupid.

“You’re him,” she said. Bucky closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. “You’re James Buchanan Barnes. The-”

“Winter Soldier,” he finished for her. His voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. When he finally looked back up at her, he said, “But I’m not that man anymore, Rowan. I swear. I won’t hurt you.” He seemed so desperate, his eyes begging her to believe him. 

“What- How are you… Why are you-” A million different questions raced through her mind, looking from the unconscious man to the one she thought she knew. Weeks, months she had dedicated to learning everything she could about Bucky, only to realize she had never truly known him at all. 

“You’ve got questions, I know. But this isn’t a good place to answer them,” he said. She had never seen him so conflicted before he finally said, “If you want… we can talk again on Wednesday. You probably want to go home right now.” She nodded dumbly, barely able to fully comprehend what he was saying. Disappointment creased the edges of his eyes as he nodded. “I get it. I’ll just… go-”

“No, don’t go,” she finally said, snapping from her dumbstruck coma. In a flurry of emotion, she grabbed his arm. His left arm. She could finally feel the hard planes of shifting metal beneath the thick jackets he wore. Bucky looked down at her, surprise in his expression. “Please, I don’t want to be alone.”

Relief flowed into his eyes. “Alright. Good. I didn’t want to leave you on your own, but I… would’ve understood.” She could only nod. With that, he grabbed the gun from the unconscious man, as well as her wallet from his pants, handing both back to her after flipping on the safety. “Do you even know how to use a gun?”

“Once upon a time,” she said, wrapping her hands around his arm. She felt him tense at first, but when he relaxed, she swore she could feel him leaning into her as they walked. “I grew up in Tennessee, it was almost a requirement in the Catholic little town I’m from. But it’s been almost six or seven years since I’ve actually used it and I just… I panicked.” She spoke quickly, her adrenaline still running through her veins.

“Hold it with both hands,” he said, causing her to look up at him. “Did you only use one?” When she nodded, he let out an ‘ah’. “That’s why he could take it from you so easily. Alwayse used both hands or don’t use it at all.”

“I’ll remember that,” she said, taking a deep breath. Unable to stand the broken lenses anymore, she pulled them off and tossed them in her bag, relying on Bucky to help her avoid anything on the ground she might have missed.

“Sorry about your glasses,” he said.

“I’ve got extras in my apartment.”

There was a heavy silence that fell over them as Bucky led her back to her apartment. Both of them kept their ears and eyes peeled to the sidewalk and streets, but neither of them saw anyone else. Relief flooded Rowan when they stopped in front of her apartment building, but she was almost frightened to take her hands from Bucky. He must have noticed, for he held his hand out for her key fob when she didn’t move and held the door open for her to usher her inside. With one last look back at the street, he followed her up the stairs until they reached her apartment. Rowan’s hands shook as she pulled out her door key, barely able to get it in the keyhole until Bucky’s hands came over hers. He gave her a small smile in comfort before helping her turn the key.

“I’ll, uh,” he began, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “leave you alone. We can talk about, well, me on Wednesday.”

“Don’t go,” she said. She wasn’t entirely sure she had spoken until he softened his gaze at her yet again. Her keys jingled in her hands as she played with them. “You’re here. Might as well talk now. And I don’t want to be alone after-”

“I understand,” he said. His lip lifted lightly until she nodded for him to come inside. Bucky hesitated, but slipped inside her apartment, allowing her to close the door behind her. She realized this was the first time he was truly seeing her home. Her little living area. The small kitchen connected right next to it. The scattered toys she had yet to give back to Lucas for Nathan. Her books on her shelves and the figurines on her walls. She watched as his eyes ran over it all, taking in every little detail of her apartment. 

“You’re more than welcome to sit,” she said. Bucky looked back at her before nodding once and retreating to the couch. “Do you want something to drink?”

“I’m fine,” he said. He had taken off both gloves, allowing her to see his hands. One flesh. One metal. 

Rowan grabbed a glass of water for herself before opening the small drawer beside her couch. She pulled out her spare glasses, a clear purple, and put them on. Now, she could truly see him. The trepidation in his tense shoulders. The guilt and fear on his face. The way his hands clenched together between his legs, as well as the way his breath hitched when she sat down beside him. He opened his mouth a few times, as though trying to find the right words, before he asked, “How much do you know? About my past?”

“Not much,” she said. “Just the general idea. You were Steve Rogers’s best friend, presumed dead, but was later found pressed into working for Hydra. You were pardoned for your service.”

He gave a small chuckle. “That’s a simplified version of it, sure.”

Rowan let out a disappointed sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, doing her best to keep her voice stern. “Did you not trust me enough to tell me who you were?”

“No!” he said, meeting her gaze. “I wanted to, Rowan. I really did. I was going to tell you, actually, on Wednesday. I just…” He broke off with a sigh. “I wasn’t sure how you’d react to knowing who I am. If you would want to keep talking, even.” A light huff, something akin to laughter, left his lips. “I was surprised you didn’t know me, honestly. After what happened with the Flag Smashers-”

“I try to keep away from news and politics,” she said. He raised his brow in question. “But we aren’t here to talk about me, Bucky.”

“I know,” he said, looking down. “I suppose I should reintroduce myself.” When she shrugged as if to say, ‘why not’, Bucky held out his normal hand and said, “Sergeant James Barnes. My friends call me Bucky.”

Rowan managed to smile and shook his hand as she said, “Nice to finally meet you, James.”

There was a flash of disappointment, likely in the way she used his given name. But she wanted to test it. To feel how it sounded on her tongue. James Barnes instead of Bucky Barnes was just odd. “Look, I really am sorry about lying to you,” he said, sitting up to face her. “There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to ruin this friendship we made. Not everyone is as graceful taking it as you are, doll.”

“I don’t see why,” she said, ignoring the way her gut fluttered when he called her ‘doll’. “You’ve been pardoned. From what I heard, it’s been proven those things the Winter Soldier did weren’t your fault.”

“I’m glad you know that,” he said with a sigh. “But, it took me a long time to realize that for myself. I’m not surprised when someone recognizes me with a less-than-savory realization.”

“I just wish you had told me before,” she said quietly. Her eyes roamed over his entire being, seeing him in a whole new light. He was still the Bucky she knew, the one she found herself waiting to hear from every day, and yet now there were layers to him she hadn’t even realized existed. Reasons and meanings for how he acted and the way he spoke. “What, uh… How did this happen?”

She gestured to his left arm, which he looked at thoughtfully. Just as she went to apologize and take back her question, he said, “Back in ‘45, Steve and I were on a mission to capture Arnim Zola. That was where I ‘died’, on the train in the Alps, and Hydra found me.” He closed his eyes, throat bobbing as he tried to find the words.

“You don’t have to tell it all if you don’t want to,” she said.

“No, I want to. You should know,” he said. Behind the struggle, he softened when he looked at her if only to comfort her. “It was with Hydra that I became the Winter Soldier. Through years of experiments and training, I became… him , and lost who I was. Until Steve found me back in 2014. It’s only because of him that I’m here right now. He helped me remember I wasn’t always the Winter Soldier.”

“The attack in DC, right?” she asked. She remembered, vaguely, seeing the crashing helicarriers on the screen of her father’s TV. Further still, she recalled the turmoil S.H.I.E.L.D.’s leaked secrets had caused, revealing Hydra’s deep influence.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I was on the run for two years after that when the Sokovia Accords happened. A bomb went off at the signing and I was blamed for it. Again, Steve risked his life to save mine. That little punk never did know when to run away from a fight.” There was a nostalgic smile in his expression. “He took me to Wakanda after the ordeal with Stark where they helped me heal a lot of myself. It was there they gave me this.” He held up his new vibranium arm. “Then the Blip happened, Steve retired, and the Flag Smashers threatened to fuck up everything I was trying to come back to.” A bitter laugh left his lips. “S’not as though I had much to come back to, though.”

Rowan watched him carefully, watching his shoulders tense at the memories. She risked putting her hand on his back and when he relaxed under her touch, she soothingly ran it up and down. “You’re adjusting well, for someone from 1945,” she said. A grin made its way to his lips. “I always thought you were a little old-fashioned.”

He chuckled lightly. “What gave me away, doll?”

“Well, first off, that,” she said. When he furrowed his brows, she continued. “‘Doll’. It’s not a very common term anymore.”

“Oh,” he said, trouble in his expression. “I can try to stop, if-”

“No, no, don’t,” she said. Perhaps a little too quickly. When she saw his expression turn smug, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “Perhaps we could use a little old-fashioned. I’m guessing that government work you do doesn’t exactly involve the actual government, does it?”

Bucky shrugged lightly and said, “Sometimes. It’s just… which government depends on the mission.”

“So you clean up their dirty work?”

“That and whatever needs to be done. Taking out crime, terrorism, anything,” he said. She couldn’t keep the shock from her face at the intensity of his real job. “It was one of the conditions of my pardon. I have to do little jobs here and there for immunity.”

“‘Little jobs’, my ass,” she said, causing him to chuckle. “Taking out terrorist threats is a ‘little job’?”

“Depends on the day.”

“Somehow, I believe you.”

He hummed, his tongue running over his bottom lip. It was quick enough to the point where Rowan didn’t stare, but she couldn’t help the flush of her cheeks. She quickly took a deep drink of water to calm herself. “You said you try to keep away from news and politics,” he started. She nodded. “Why?”

“Politics is a sore point nowadays,” she said, looking down at her hands. “In high school, I was very outspoken. Perhaps a little too outspoken. I had a lot of friends on the… other side of the political spectrum, and while we were great together when we didn’t talk politics when the topic accidentally came up, I could get a little-”

“Defensive?” he asked.

“Something like that,” she said, pushing her hair away from her face. “After one too many insults my way from people I thought loved me or seeing hurtful comments about people with my views on social media, I just put it all away. I turned off my TV and got rid of my social media. I kept myself out of politics and away from the current events. Of course, I do my research when I need to, but watching and listening to people yelling at one another every single day becomes exhausting. I’ve lived in bliss since I’ve swallowed my argumentative side.”

“You don’t have beliefs?” he asked.

“I never said that,” she said. “I do have beliefs. Strong ones. The same ones I’ve always had. Sure, some of them have shifted a little as I’ve gotten older, but they’re my opinions. I don’t see the point in talking about them if it’s just going to make everyone angry. If everyone’s just going to hate me for it.”

Bucky’s incredulous look almost made her laugh. “That seems wrong.”

She laughed and said, “People aren’t as nice when it comes to talking about their beliefs as they were in the ‘40s. It’s become hate or be hated, and I wanted no part in that.” He still seemed troubled. “I’m happy with my life, Bucky. Keeping myself away from it all has made everything so much easier for me.”

“Well, your friends didn’t sound like real good people, Red,” he said. “Disagreement is just a part of life. You don’t have to hate someone for it.”

“Good thing I’ve got better ones now,” she said, smiling at him. The tension from before was beginning to ease away, allowing them both to lay back on the couch in a comfortable silence. “Do you mind if I see it? Your arm,” she asked. When he raised his brows, she said, “You obviously don’t have to. Forget I asked. That was weird-”

“No, it’s alright,” he said. He had already begun to peel off his jacket. Underneath, he wore a plain black t-shirt, one that allowed her to see the rippling of his muscles from every angle. Rowan forced herself not to ogle his arm, either of them. “Look all you like.”

She shook her head at his smirk and said, “Smooth, Barnes.” Her eyes roamed over the beautiful black plates that covered the gold alloy beneath. Just barely, she could hear the whirring and clicking of his arm as it moved. She hadn’t realized it was his entire arm that was missing. “It’s so beautiful,” she said, just barely able to stop herself from running her fingers over it. “This is your entire arm?”

“Yeah,” he said. He took her hand in his flesh one and brought it to his chest. She flushed red at the sudden contact before feeling his firm chest beneath her hand. “It goes all the way up here.”

She wasn’t sure what she was feeling for at first until the ridge between metal and flesh became apparent. Rowan’s eyes grew wide when she realized the metal plates ran over his entire shoulder, just barely touching his sternum. “Oh, my God,” she said. Her hands ran back down his arm, the muscles printed there flexing like a real arm. 

“Hydra wanted a weapon. Not a prosthetic,” Bucky said, his left hand flexing until he caught her hand. “They took as much as they wanted to risk.”

“Fucking bastards,” she said, unintentionally loud.

Bucky laughed gently, squeezing her hand in his as he nodded. “Yeah. But they’re gone now.” She continued to look down at the way his large hand held hers in his grasp until she heard his voice. “Hey.” Rowan glanced up to meet his gaze. “Are you alright? After tonight?”

She inhaled sharply. If she found herself sitting closer to him, it wasn’t intentional. But she didn’t move. “I think so,” she said.

“I’m gonna need a yes, Red,” he said. “I don’t want to leave you alone here if you don’t feel safe.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” she said, holding him tighter. Rowan groaned, knowing she sounded pathetic, and shifted away to say, “I mean, I’m okay. I just feel… better, I guess, with you here. But you don’t have to stay. I know there are things you have to do.”

“I want to,” he said. He closed the distance she had tried to put between them, knees softly brushing. “It’s okay to be scared, Rowan. What happened tonight…” His jaw clenched and she could see he was trying to hold his anger together in front of her. “What happened tonight happens a lot more often than it should, and it’s okay to want help. I just wish I had been there before he had even touched you.”

“You were there when it mattered,” she said, urging him to meet her eyes. “You saved me, Bucky. That’s enough for me.”

“It isn’t for me,” he said. “But, I’m glad you’re okay. And I can stay here tonight if you want me to. To make sure you feel safe tonight.”

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

“For you? Nothing is.”

Rowan tried to hide her grin, standing to avoid the rush of warmth that came over her when he looked at her with that unbearably soft expression. Clearing her throat as she set her empty glass in the sink, she said, “I have a spare bedroom if you want to use it.”

She saw him hesitate before he said, “I’ll take the couch if that’s alright with you. I still haven’t, uh, gotten used to the bed yet.”

“As long as you’ll be comfortable,” she said. 

He grinned at her and said, “Trust me, Red. I’ve slept in worse places than your ridiculously soft couch.”

Rowan laughed at his words and said, “Let me get some blankets and a pillow for you. You can use the bathroom to wash off.”

“Already did before I left my apartment,” he said. She raised her brow. “I was taking out the trash when I heard you. Just so happens I had already planned to stay in early tonight.”

She only just realized he was in his sweatpants. “Okay, well, more for me then. I’ll get you those blankets.” 

She returned with the pillows and blankets and Bucky helped her set up a small bed on her couch. Once it was all set, she gave him an awkward smile as he said, “Good night, Red. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night, Bucky. And, thank you. For everything,” she said.

“Thank you for being so amazing.” She nearly melted from the sincerity in his eyes. 

His compliment had her looking at the ground before she turned and headed to her bedroom. Shutting the door behind her, she listened until she heard the shuffling stop as Bucky settled on her couch. Running a hand over her face, she let out a long sigh. The Bucky she had been fooling herself over for weeks was the Sergeant James Barnes. She would say she couldn’t believe it if it all didn’t make so much sense. The gloves, the actions, the jargon he used. It all added up. She understood why he kept it from her, given the nature of his past, but she knew none of what he had been through was his fault. Hydra had always been pulling the strings, even on Bucky. She wished he realized she would have known that. In her eyes, nothing had changed, apart from the realization that he had a metal arm. 

When she finally curled up beneath the covers that night, she couldn’t help but smile. He wanted her safe, and he stayed when she asked. Not only that, but he saved her life. She didn’t care what the rest of the world thought. To her, Bucky Barnes was a hero. Her hero. And he had just succeeded in making her fall for him.

Chapter Text

Bucky hadn’t expected her to take it so well. He expected items thrown across the bar or glares of disgust. He expected to be thrown out of Velvet Vixen and to be asked never to come back.

He never expected to be telling her after saving her life, let alone for her to allow him to stay in her apartment after he told her the truth. 

Sam had called him the next day to tell him the police had picked up the perp. Turns out, the guy had a rap sheet nearly three pages long, most of it to do with alcohol-related assaults and robberies. There was a good chance he was going back behind bars for a long time, and if Sam’s interference was any indication, perhaps a few more years just for safekeeping. Bucky left a note for Rowan that morning when he woke up to return to his apartment, telling her to call him when she was ready, or if she needed him. Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do, but he didn’t want to overstay his welcome either. Surely, she would need some time to adjust to learning about his past before they went back to how things were before. 

He was terrified of just how much he wanted to keep Rowan in his life. He would understand if, after that day, she would ask him to leave to ensure her safety. She wasn’t Natasha. She wasn’t Steve. She didn’t have a suit of armor to fly away on when things got tough. But he didn’t want to be that guy. The kind who forced himself back into someone’s life for their own sake. So, begrudgingly, he distanced himself. Not enough to really pull away, but he stopped his everyday texting to give her the time to adjust to the new realization.  Bucky was shocked at how much he missed texting her ‘good morning’ every day before his run. It had become second nature in such a short amount of time. 

But, just a few days after his full disclosure, Bucky had been midway through his morning run when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He stopped, allowing himself a small break, before he pulled out his phone to check. A dopey grin grew on his face when he saw it was Rowan texting him.

–Red: Finally got the jump on your morning texts, Barnes! I win this time. Hope I’ll be seeing you back on Wednesday. Thank you again for helping me that night. And just know that no matter who you are, you’re my friend. Have a good run, Bucky

Relief flowed through him. He didn’t believe she would actually leave him hanging, but the ever-present fear was always there. He knew what he had done while under Hydra’s control wasn’t his fault. He knew the blood on his hands wasn’t of his own volition. It had taken him walking through hell and one too many chats with Dr. Raynor to get there, but he knew that now. He was a POW, not a Soviet soldier. Still, he never knew who else saw him that way. Rowan’s acceptance allowed him to breathe fresh air for once instead of choking on his fears of abandonment. 

–Wouldn’t miss the Velvet Vixen for the world, Red. I’ll see you then. 

–And thank you for understanding. I’m glad you know everything now.

–Red: Me too. Although, I’m very impressed with myself that I could guess a good beer for you without knowing shit about your Avenging.

And just like that, they were back.

With the cat out of the bag, so to speak, Bucky was able to tell her about himself in ways that truly explained the little things he enjoyed. He knew that to her, his taste of music was old and outdated, but now it would make sense for her why he enjoyed what he enjoyed. And he was still figuring out all the meanings of the little text acronyms she would send, but she was patient with him. She explained it all, and Bucky was forever grateful for it.

It was one day after his morning run that he decided to take a step forward. He knew he liked her a lot more than he should, a lot more than friends should, and as much as he had been wanting to do something about it since he met her, he had held off. His fear of her rejecting his true identity had overcome his desire to ask her out. As had his cluelessness about the modern ideals of dating. No one danced anymore. No one went steady. And he didn’t even want to think about the awkwardness of his trial run through online dating. But with God as his witness, he wanted to try with Rowan.

If he could muster the courage to ask her out properly.

“Look, man, just tell the girl how you feel,” Sam said through their call. Bucky walked down the street, his phone to his ear as he just barely avoided knocking into a passerby. “You’ve told me squat about her. Maybe when you actually start dating the girl, then you’ll finally tell me her damn name.”

“I don’t want to fuck this up, Sam,” Bucky said. “And the only reason I haven’t told you anything about her is because I know you’ll look her up in every database and find out as much as you can about her. You're nosy like that.”

“You’re being dramatic,” he replied. Bucky could hear the eye roll through the phone. “How can I help you ask her out if you won’t tell me about her?”

“I did tell you about her.”

“You told me the bare-ass minimum. That doesn’t count.”

“Look,” Bucky said with a sigh, “I just want this to go well. I’m not exactly a Casanova anymore.”

“I have trouble believing you ever were.”

“You didn’t know me back in 1940,” he said with a small grin. “I got around, for the time.”

“That’s disgusting and I didn’t need to know that,” Sam said, although there was a smile in his tone. “And I doubt this girl would even like a Casanova in the first place.”

“You’d be right there,” he said. He looked up, seeing he had reached Rowan’s apartment building. “I gotta go, Sam. Let me know how the mission goes. Call me in if you need the backup.”

“Like hell, I’m pulling you away from this mystery woman,” Sam said. “I’ve got it handled. See you.”

“Bye.” Bucky shoved his phone in his pocket and headed up to the buzzer beside the complex entrance. He hadn’t texted or called ahead, but he wanted to do something for Rowan. Just to spend a little more time with her. He hesitated, thinking back on his idea, before pressing the button to her apartment. 

He shifted from foot to foot, looking around anxiously before he heard Rowan’s voice say, “Hello?”

“Hey, Red. It’s Bucky,” he said.

“Bucky! What are you doing here? Not that I’m angry, I just-” she paused, allowing him to laugh. “What’s up?”

“Sorry, I didn’t call ahead but I wanted to see if I could walk you to work,” he said. “I’ve got to head to the bus station anyway and it’s on the way.”

“I’d love the company,” she said. He breathed out in relief. “Give me a few minutes, I’ll be right down.”

Bucky settled himself to lean against the building, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he people-watched for a few minutes. When he heard the apartment door opening, he stood up straight, catching that flash of red hair before seeing her bright smile. “Hey, doll,” he said.

“Hi, Bucky,” she said, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. “Uh, shall we?”

“Certainly,” he said, turning to allow her to cross him. She gave him a lingering smile before they started down the sidewalk, side-by-side.

“You’re lucky you caught me today,” she said. “I’m almost never home at this time of day. How’d you know?”

He shrugged lightly and said, “Took a chance and hoped you’d be home. I knew you had class in the mornings. Wasn’t sure if you dropped by your apartment before work first.” Bucky sent her a smirk, one he forgot he even knew how to use. “Glad I guessed right.”

He felt his stomach lurch at the sight of her bashful smile. She didn’t even realize the things she was doing to him. “I am, too,” she said, meeting his gaze. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t text you after everything that happened. After what you told me. I got so caught up in my homework that I almost completely forgot and then I felt like shit at the end of the day and I-”

“Whoa, hey, Rowan, slow down,” Bucky said, laughing a little at her outburst. “It’s alright. I wanted you to talk to me first. I didn’t want to force my conversation on you if you didn’t want to continue.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you?” she asked, her brows furrowing lightly. He noticed the way her glasses fell down her nose. All he wanted to do was push them back up and tuck the stray hair behind her ear.

Instead, he simply shrugged. “Not everyone is as pleasant as you. I wanted to give you the chance to back out. But I, uh–” he bumped his shoulder against hers, “–I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Me too,” she said. Bucky forced himself not to turn red at her smile. 

It didn’t take them long to reach the Velvet Vixen, and soon Bucky found himself bidding a small farewell to Rowan before they turned their separate ways. Even after their departure, Rowan continued to send him little updates about the customers she was serving as the minutes passed by. Soon enough, Bucky found himself sitting in Dr. Raynor’s familiar office, hands folded in his lap as she studied him with narrowed eyes.

“You look like you wanna say something, Doc,” Bucky said, noticing the tick in her expression.

“Don’t think I’ve seen you smile so much, James,” she said, catching him off-guard. Before he could ask what she meant (for he knew the only smile he gave her was of condescension), Dr. Raynor said, “You were smiling down at your phone in the lobby. It’s my job to catch these things, in and out of session.”

“And yet, I’m only here for the session,” he said. “So we can probably just ignore-”

“You try to ignore it, I write it down,” she said, brandishing her pen in a threat. Bucky grumbled low in his chest. “So, tell me. What have you been up to?”

He shrugged. He really didn’t walk to tell Dr. Raynor about Rowan. “Same as always. Routine hasn’t changed.”

“You were here thirty minutes earlier than you usually are,” she said, raising her thin eyebrow at him. Bucky leaned his head back to avoid her gaze. He heard the clicking of her evil pen. 

He had learned his lesson a long time ago. He should have known by now that keeping his mouth such during their sessions wasn’t going to get him anywhere, and Raynor would only get more and more threatening with that damn pen. With a deep sigh, he said, “I met someone.”

The clicking stopped. He faced Raynor again, who was nodding contemplatively. “Like a girl?” she asked.

“No, a talking pigeon,” he snapped back. He had already met a talking raccoon. Honestly, a talking pigeon wouldn’t surprise him anymore. “Yes, a girl.”

“Where’d you meet her?”

“The bar. Velvet Vixen.”

“Ah, you finally gave up the name of that damn place,” she said, leaning back into her seat. She played with her pen, but it was no longer threatening. “Tell me about her.”

Bucky swallowed his desire to spit venom. “She’s the bartender, s’how I first met her,” he began. “She goes to the university, she’s studying to be a teacher, or to work with children.”

“She pretty?” Raynor asked. If Bucky didn’t know any better, he’d say she was smirking.

“Why?”

She pursed her lips. “The entire reason for these meetings to to get you to open up, James. To put yourself out there. To talk to people. I’m simply asking the questions any friend would ask.”

“Oh, we’re friends, Doc?” he asked with a shit-eating smile. When Raynor simply raised her brows for him to answer, his smile softened. With an expression he wasn’t able to hide, he looked down at his hands. “Yeah. She’s really pretty. Beautiful.” When the silence continued, he broke it. “She’s got these big black glasses and her hair is this bright cherry red. You can’t miss her when you see her.”

“She sounds lovely,” Raynor said. “Have you asked her out yet?”

Bucky scratched the back of his neck. “Haven’t exactly gotten there yet. Dating nowadays is… terrifying.”

“Well, at least you’re trying. That’s what matters,” Raynor said. “You want to go out there and be with her. You want that companionship. And it’s good that you’re willing to act on it, whether or not you’re scared of the modern dating scene.”

‘Dating scene’. What a funny term. If anything, the ‘dating scene’ was a gory horror movie scene where everyone was screaming and confused and getting killed by their own partners. But he wasn’t going to ask Dr. Raynor for advice on how to ask Rowan out. “I’m figuring it out,” he said. 

“Let me know how it goes,” she said, closing her notebook. She wouldn’t need it.

When his session finally ended, a weight lifted from his chest like a cloud. Bucky always scolded himself on the days he fought Dr. Raynor, knowing the days he actually talked helped him feel better than the ones he didn’t. But on that day, all he could think about was being able to see Rowan afterward. He checked his phone, seeing she had texted him a picture of Dahlia (who he had met on occasion while in the bar and grill) sitting in the middle of a spilled dish. She had said: Little Miss Clutz over here. He chuckled beneath his breath, sending a laughing emoji her way. He was still getting the hang of those little faces, but he believed he had it all sorted out. He thought he did. He hoped he did.

When he opened the door to the Velvet Vixen, Summer greeted him as she always did. He had finally gotten used to her bubbly greetings, giving a light smile her way back before he sat at the bar. Already, Rowan had his Porter ready to drink. “You know me so well, doll,” he said, taking the drink from her hands.

“I should hope so,” she said. “You’ve gone through a few beers since you first came here. I should know what you like best now.”

“You always do,” he said. He leaned forward, grinning at her. “How’s Little Miss Clutz?”

Rowan laughed before looking over her shoulder at a disheveled Dahlia. “She’s catching up. It was just one order so it wasn’t hard to replace, but Dahlia prides herself on her dish-balancing. I’m so mad I didn’t get a recording.”

“No recording, no evidence, Ro’,” Dahlia said as she passed by. 

Bucky leaned in closer and whispered, “Does she know about the picture?”

Rowan shook her head, pursing her lips in mischief. He tried not to linger his gaze on her plush lips. “If she finds out, she’ll break my phone.”

“We can’t have that,” he said, taking a sip of his beer.

He noticed her gaze watching as he drank. He could feel her finger tapping against the bar in thought before she said, “You know, I can make you something stronger than beer when you’re here. I’m a bartender. I know how to make a variety of drinks, Buck.”

“Ah, I don’t exactly drink this to get drunk, and making it stronger wouldn’t have the effect I’d want it to,” he said. He lowered his voice, glancing around before he said, “I haven’t been able to get drunk since I got the super soldier serum. It negates that sort of thing.”

Her jaw dropped. Bucky found it overwhelmingly adorable. “You can’t get drunk?!” she said in a whisper-shout. He shook his head. “What the hell are you doing in a bar, then?”

“What? You want me out?” he asked.

“Never,” she said. His shoulders relaxed at her words. She never wanted him gone . “I’m just a little surprised you’d keep drinking alcohol if you couldn’t feel the effects. It doesn’t exactly taste like chocolate cake.”

“It’s familiar, I suppose,” he said, twisting the glass on the bar. “And sometimes the taste is comforting like it helps me remember some things from my past. There are some alcoholic drinks that I do like just from the taste.”

“Yeah, I get that,” she said with a nod. “I know I like some cocktails and drinks just because they taste good. Although, back in high school that usually led to one or more massive hangovers in the mornings.”

Bucky ran his gaze over her as he said, “Were you a partier in high school?”

“I wasn’t what you would consider a ‘party girl’, but I had been to my fair share,” she said. He wondered what it would have been like to see her in that situation. Loose and free, careless and wild. Long hair swaying to the beat of the music as she danced. He felt his cheeks heat up at the thought and hid it behind his beer glass. “What about you? What was James Barnes like back in 1940?”

“Anything I say will probably make me seem like a prude by today’s standards. People really know how to let loose nowadays,” he said with a laugh. “But back when I was just Bucky, not Sergaent Barnes or the Winter Soldier, well… let’s just say I got around town pretty easily.” Bucky gave her a light wink. He hoped he was flirting right. Or that he was flirting at all. 

“Let me guess. The girls threw themselves at your feet and you were more than happy to take ‘em home,” she said, leaning on her elbows against the bar. Her brows eyes roamed over his face and if Bucky didn’t know any better, he’d say she was ogling him. 

“What? Don’t believe me?” he asked. He risked leaning forward just enough to have her breath hitch. 

“Oh, I never said that, Sarge,” she said. Her voice had become low and… did he dare say sultry? Wait, was she flirting with him ? He cleared his throat and sat back, trying to stop the heat from rolling over him in harsh waves as she laughed and stepped back. “So, you were a classic dreamboat, huh? That I can see.”

“What makes you say that, doll?” he asked.

She scoffed, raising her brow as she said, “Have you seen yourself, Bucky?” He could see she was avoiding his gaze after she had spoken.

The truth of the matter was that Bucky didn’t often like looking at himself. Not anymore, at least. Before the serum, before the war, he took pride in it. He knew he had been good-looking. But after the hell he had walked through because of Hydra, there were scars that just never healed. He couldn’t see his arm without guilt and self-loathing flowing through his veins. His blue eyes that once softly took in a girl when she kissed him had seen one too many deaths by his own hands. And his hands? The ones that used to caress soft skin and bring a girl pleasure at his touch? They had taken the lives of dozens of innocent people. He could barely bring himself to look himself in the eyes when he stared in the mirror. 

But through Rowan’s eyes? 

Yeah… maybe he could believe it from her.

“Hey, I just had a thought,” she said, breaking him from his thoughts. “You said you can’t get drunk anymore right?” He shook his head. He often tried not to think about his lack of a buzz when he drank. “Well, tourists are going to start bursting in soon enough once summer comes back around. I haven’t had time to practice making my more complicated cocktail orders in a while and when people go on vacation, they don’t come for beer and wine. So, I was thinking, we could have a cocktail night at my apartment.”

His brows raised. He wasn’t opposed to the idea, simply surprised. “A cocktail night, huh?”

She hummed with a nod. “You get to try as many cocktails as you want, especially since I know a lot of cocktails were invented after World War II and you haven’t had the chance to try a cosmopolitan. Meanwhile, I get a chance to practice my cocktail-making skills.” Bucky didn’t know what a cosmopolitan was, but from the giddy way she said it, now he wanted to try it more than anything. “So, what do you say to that?”

“I would say I hope you have enough liquor to last us the night, doll,” he said, finishing his drink. 

“Oh, trust me, Bucky. I have enough liquor in my apartment to last us the week ,” she said as she took his empty glass. 

“I’m not gonna be drinking alone, am I?” he asked. “‘Cause if you’re just gonna serve me drinks all night, that just looks sad on my part.”

“You think I’ll only be making drinks for you?” she said with a laugh. “Please, if there’s drinking, I’m in. But I will have to pace myself. No super soldier serum to keep me from getting drunk.”

“I’ll keep an eye on you,” he said. 

“I’d hope so. I might be a bartender, but I am a little bit of a lightweight,” she said with a wince. “It’s a family thing. All the Burkes are lightweights.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll catch you if you fall over,” Bucky said as he laid down his money. 

Just as she was about to respond, the door behind him opened and her eyes lit up with a smile as she said, “Nathan!” Curious, Bucky turned in his seat to see a tall dark-haired man walking through the door, a young boy at his side. The kid couldn’t have been older than ten years old. He shared the father’s black hair, a few freckles dotting his nose. That was all Bucky could catch before Rowan rushed from behind the bar to pick the boy up in a quick hug. She kissed his cheek, which the boy groaned at, before giving the man a quick hug as well. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Nathan got out of practice early. He wanted to come visit you,” the man said.

Rowan crossed her arms and said, “Is that why you smell like grass? Huh, Nathan? Jeez, you’ve still got dirt on your nose.”

“Only cause I slid to kick the ball!” the boy, Nathan said, pridefully as he puffed up his skinny chest. “ And I made the goal.”

“He did. It was amazing,” the man said, ruffling his son’s hair. The boy tensed slightly at the father’s touch. 

“Wow, I am so proud of you, Nate!” Rowan said, kneeling to pull the boy into another hug. 

Bucky noticed how he welcomed her embrace. So much unlike his father’s. Fear bubbled in his chest. Had she been married this entire time? Or at least the mother of a son she had never told him about? She had no obligation, but he would have thought she’d be forthright in that. But it didn’t make sense. The boy was at least nine, maybe ten years old. Rowan was only twenty-four, perhaps twenty-five. Bucky wasn’t one to judge, and he certainly wasn’t going to let whatever this was jeopardize his care for Rowan, but confusion and a sudden protectiveness ran through his veins. 

“Hey, why don’t you go bother Dahlia? She’s on her break and she would absolutely love to see you again,” Rowan said. Nathan ran off with a cheerful smile on his face, past Bucky towards a waiting Dahlia, who threw the boy into a tight hug. “Buck.” Her voice pulled him back to her as he cleared his throat and put on a smile. He stood to meet her and the mystery man. “I want you to meet my brother, Lucas. Lucas, this is Bucky.”

“Nice to meet you, man,” Lucas said as he clasped Bucky’s hand in a handshake. “Whoa, nice grip.”

Relief flowed through Bucky. Her brother. This was her brother . Not some crazy ex. Not some horrible husband. Her brother. “Yeah, good to meet you too,” he said with a genuine smile. He saw the minuscule glance Lucas sent his sister, one that had Rowan glaring at him. Bucky tried not to smile before he said, “So, you’re the Guinness brother?”

“One and only,” Lucas said with a light shrug. “Once you have it once, it’s all you’ll ever drink again.”

“That’s exactly what she told me,” Bucky said, nodding to Rowan. “More than once I’ve come in here and she’s already had it on the bar for me. Can’t say I complain about it.”

Lucas smiled and looked at Rowan before he said, “I like him.” She merely chuckled awkwardly, looking between them as Lucas spoke again. “And, hey, if you ever want to sit back and crack open a few beers, I am much better company than Ro’ over here.”

“Hey!” she said, jaw dropped in offense. “I’ve outdrank both you and Dad!” She loudly whispered to Bucky, “It wasn’t that hard. Like I said, lightweights.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Bucky said. “Although, I’d hate to drink without Red there. I’d feel like I’m breaking some sacred bartender/bartendee pact or something.”

“Bartendee isn’t a word, Buck,” Rowan said with a shake of her head. He merely gave a careless, lighthearted shrug. “Anyway, Lucas, are you and Nathan here to eat?”

“Yeah, he wanted a cheeseburger and after his kick today, I couldn’t say no,” Lucas said. “Perfect opportunity to drop by to see you, too.”

“I am so very flattered,” Rowan said, putting a hand over her heart. “Summer, can you seat Luke and Nate?”

“Right on it, Rowan,” Summer said with a wink. She blushed as she met Lucas’s smile, causing Rowan to lightly laugh behind her hand. 

Turning to Bucky, she whispered, “Summer has had a crush on Lucas since he first came by. It’s adorable, but my God, I hope she realizes she is seventeen still.” He lightly laughed beside her, savoring how close she stood beside him. “So, what night works best for you for cocktail night?”

“Uh, I’ve got Sam coming by this week, so maybe next week?” he asked. He had never been so angry at Sam’s presence, and that was saying something. He always found a reason to be angry for his presence.

“Sure, that works for me,” she said. “I have next Monday off. I’ll probably need all of Tuesday to recover if we’re drinking through the night. You can come by at six if that works.”

“Monday works for me,” he said. “I’ll, uh, see you then?”

“Yup,” she said, folding her hands tightly behind her. 

Bucky felt the sudden urge to just lean forward and press his lips to hers. He couldn’t remember the last time he wanted to kiss someone so bad. Instead, he pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, ensuring he didn’t linger before he said, “Goodbye, Red.” With one last smile, he left the bar, trying to ignore the way his lips tingled from her skin.

#

What.

The.

Fuck.

Rowan could still feel the press of Bucky’s lips to her cheek. 

Shaking away the rush of pure molten heat that crashed over her, she turned to find Dahlia staring wide-eyed and jaw-dropped as she carried an empty tray. Rowan knew she wasn’t going to hear the end of this.

As soon as she was back behind the bar, serving another young man, Dahlia had rushed up behind her and pulled her back to say, “Oh, my God.”

“Oh, my God.”

“ Oh, my God!! He kissed you!”

“He didn’t-”

“He did. I saw it. He did.”

Rowan put her hands on Dahlia’s shoulders, trying to calm the racing mind of her best friend. “Lia, it was just a kiss on my cheek. I bet boys did that all the time back in 1940!”

“Bitch, please. Boys back then were still clean and conservative,” Dahlia said. Rowan was glad she had told her about Bucky’s past. It made it so much easier to talk to her about her conflicted and confused feelings for the man. “He likes you. A lot. I can see it. He looks at you like you hung the sun, the moon, and the stars, Rowan.”

“I invited him to my apartment,” she said. Dahlia gasped. “For a cocktail night.”

She then groaned and said, “You should have stopped talking when you said cock.”

“ Dahlia!! ”

She simply laughed, barely able to control herself and urging Rowan to laugh beside her. It wasn’t long before the two of them could barely take a breath between their laughter until Rich had to come and tear them apart to get back to work. She counted herself lucky her best friend was the stepdaughter of her boss. Once six o’clock hit, Rich ended her shift and brought in Theo to finish it, allowing her to walk her brother and nephew back down to the subway station.

As Nathan walked ahead of them, too excited and filled with energy to walk at their slow pace, Lucas turned his head to Rowan and said, “So… Bucky seems like a nice guy.”

“Shut up,” she said, stuffing her hands into her jacket and keeping her gaze away from his.

Lucas simply laughed, shaking his head as he said, “What? All I’m saying is he seems like a nice guy. He seems to like you. You seem to like him. I’m just stating the seemings I see.”

“Christ, you sound like a Dr. Seuss book,” she said distastefully.

“Sorry. Nathan’s teacher insisted the class read a few. Guess it’s Dr. Seuss week or something, and it’s all I’ve been hearing for the past three days,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Anyway, all I want to say is that I think this guy could be good for you.”

“He’s… a friend,” Rowan said. She instantly hated herself for the slight hesitation in her voice. “I like his company.”

“That’s always good,” Lucas said. She knew what he was trying to do.

“And, yeah, I suppose he’s handsome.”

“Rowan, I’m a straight man, and even I can tell he’s hot.”

“Then perhaps you need to rethink your life,” she said, allowing herself to laugh.

Lucas merely shook his head, laughing along with her as he said, “Nope. There was only one love in my life for me.” He quickly said, “Why haven’t you asked him out yet?”

Rowan knew he was trying to change the subject, but she allowed it. His wife was a topic they seldom touched on. “I just feel like I never had time in the past for a boyfriend. I don’t see why I would have time for one now,” she said.

“The world’s changed, Ro’. You’ve changed,” he said. “And I know your excuse for a lack of time is only because you still feel like you have to watch over Nathan in some way.”

“You don’t get it-”

“No, I don’t,” Lucas said. His once calm demeanor had turned stern. “Look, I don’t mean to be harsh, but Rowan, you’ve got to accept the fact that now I’m back, Nathan is taken care of. I appreciate what you did for him more than I can tell you and no amount of thanks will express how grateful I am that you took charge of him while I was gone, but you haven’t been living anymore. You’re working your mind to pieces and never allowing yourself to see what’s out there in the world. And I can tell you’re coming up with reasons right now not to see Bucky if only to give yourself more time to work yourself into an early grave.” She opened her mouth to argue, but he didn’t stop. “You will always hold a special place in Nathan’s heart, and any help you are offering to him is greatly appreciated, but I’m worried you’ve never stopped seeing him as your son.”

“I know he’s not my son,” Rowan snapped. “But, Lucas, you gotta understand. I wasn’t prepared. Taking in Nathan was a shock to my core that I don’t think I’ll ever recover from. I was so scared. I had no money, a shitty one-bedroom apartment, and I was just starting college. I had no time and I had to scramble to find my job at Velvet Vixen.” She peeked her eyes forward to ensure Nathan wasn’t listening. “So forgive me if I’m constantly afraid of you disappearing again, but I can’t help myself. I can’t help working until I collapse just so that Nathan has money for college, food, or even a blanket. Because, fucking hell, I couldn’t afford any of that when I took him in and it scared the shit out of me.”

“Hey, hey,” Lucas said, wrapping his arm around her. He wiped the tears that had begun to fall from her cheeks, slightly fogging up her glasses. “I know. And I know I can’t imagine what it felt like, but I want you to be happy for yourself, for once. To be a college student. Find a guy you like. Live again, for Christ’s sake. Please. It’s killing me to see my baby sister run herself dry when she doesn’t need to.”

“I’m not your baby sister anymore. Hell, I’m older than you now, Luke,” Rowan said.

“You might be older than me in age, but I spent twenty years looking out for you. I beat up your crappy boyfriends and told you everything was okay when you scraped your knee,” he said. She gulped back the tears that threatened to spill again. “The Blip may have screwed up a lot, but I will always look out for you, okay? I’ll always be your big brother, whether or not some crazy alien wiped me away for a few years.”

“Auntie Ro’,” she heard Nathan call. She wiped her tears as she and Lucas rushed back up to walk beside the boy. “Can you come to my soccer game this Saturday?”

She mentally checked her schedule first, but took a glance at Lucas. Pursing her lips, she thought, screw the schedule before she said, “I wouldn’t miss that for the world, bud.”

“Yes!” Nathan said, pumping his fist. The sight made Rowan smile. “I’m definitely gonna do another slide kick.”

“Ah, maybe think about your soccer jersey before you do that, Nate,” Lucas said with a good-natured smile. 

Rowan bid her family farewell before walking the short distance back to her apartment. When she locked the door behind her and slumped down on her couch, she let herself close her eyes and sighed. Blue eyes danced in her vision, her lip lifting ever-so-slightly at the reminder of his lips against her skin. Christ, she wanted to feel it all over, his lips kissing every inch of her body. She sat up, quickly grabbing a cup of water from her kitchen to keep her little thoughts at bay. She would need a cold, cold shower after her day. 

Her phone buzzed on the table, drawing her back to her couch. She shook her head with a smile. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear, they say.

–Bucky: Can’t wait to see you on Monday, doll. Looking forward to it.

Rowan had never wanted a week to go by faster in her entire life.

Chapter Text

Rowan was nothing more than a red blur as she ran around her apartment, cleaning and dusting every inch and corner of her home before Bucky arrived. She had spent whatever time she had left in the week ordering alcohol and food. Would they be having dinner? No, she wouldn’t assume. She just brought the alcohol, the mixer, and the blender (in case of a dire need for a margarita). Along with all the rest of the juice and limes she might need. If she was going to make Bucky a cocktail, she was going to do it right .

She had been impatiently waiting all weekend for Monday to roll around. It was only at Nathan’s soccer game that she had a moment of reprieve from her pounding heart and sweaty hands at the thought of Bucky coming back to her apartment. Nathan’s team had won, of course, and he tried his sliding kick again, covering his jersey and shorts in grass and mud. It was his kick that had earned his team the winning goal. She had never been prouder of him than that moment, but when Nathan and Lucas left her side to return home, the loneliness of their departure crept up her spine.

She had thought long and hard about her relationship with Bucky. They had flirted harmlessly in the past and she loved the way he called her ‘Red’ and ‘doll’ (even if the latter was rather outdated). He had been nothing but an utter gentleman to her from the very first moment they met and was somehow always there when she needed just a little bit of comfort. Their Wednesday meetings soon weren’t enough for Rowan, wanting to be with him every minute she could spare. The idea that she relied so heavily on him for comfort was horrifying, but it was Lucas’s stern talk that made her realize she wasn’t going to be happy unless she put herself back out into the world again.

And maybe that had to start with Bucky.

She wouldn’t consider their cocktail night a date, as much as she wished she could. They were just two friends hanging out and drinking through the night. It was a fact she had to keep reminding herself of as she messed with her hair while staring in the mirror. Her headband just wouldn’t let her curtain bangs sit right, for the first time. Or maybe it was just the first time she cared? Rowan shook her head, ridding herself of her intrusive thoughts before she fixed the headband one last time, insisting to herself that it looked right. 

And that was the only reason why it finally did.

Finally happy with her cursed hair, she finished sorting the bottles of alcohol on her table as well as the glasses she had set aside. The quiet of the apartment was almost suffocating, so she brought out her small speaker and connected it to her phone to allow some low-volume music to play. It was just loud enough to allow some semblance of an atmosphere to her little home. She swayed to the beat of Greta Van Fleet’s Heat Above as she watched the clock tick by to six. Almost exactly as the clock struck, chiming six times, she heard a knock on the door. She did her best not to run to open it.

Standing behind her door was Bucky, who sheepishly had one hand in his pocket as the other gripped a white plastic bag. Like always, he was in black from top to bottom, his usual jacket and jeans covering his body. What was odd was he wasn’t wearing his gloves. “Hey, Red,” he said with a smile.

“You’re right on time,” she said, opening the door further to let him in. “Did you wait outside the door for six to hit, or something?”

“Only ‘cause I knew getting here at five would seem a little too eager,” he said casually, setting the white bag down on her little kitchen island. When she laughed and shook her head, he said, “No, I’m just usually really good at timing myself. Occupational hazard.”

“Ah, I see,” she said, closing and locking the door. 

“I hope you don’t mind, I brought some takeout from the Chinese place down the street,” he said. “I really hope you like orange chicken.”

“Are you kidding? I love orange chicken! Gimme,” she said, reaching into the bag before he could stop her. She heard him laugh as she pulled out the boxes of chicken and fried rice. “How’d you know?”

“I asked Dahlia,” he said. “She told me you always go there for lunch before work.”

“She’s right. God help me if Panda Express ever shuts down for good,” she said with a dreamy sigh as she took a bite of the food he brought. “I know it's not the best Chinese restaurant out there, but I don’t care. I love it.”

“I’m glad, then,” he said, taking his own food from the bag. “I just know it’s bad to drink on an empty stomach and uh… going by your line-up, I’d say we’ll be drinking quite a bit tonight.”

“I’ve got way too many drinks I’m gonna make you try,” she said with a grin. “Thanks for bringing me dinner. I can pay you back for the chicken.”

“No, no, don’t,” he said, giving her a sweet smile. “You’re already doing all this for me. I just thought that I’d do something for you.” Bucky’s eyes lit up mischievously. “Besides, Dahlia also told me you tend to skip lunch, dinner, or both when you’re working your ass off and I didn’t want to risk you starving getting all this ready on my account.”

“Dahlia, you narc,” Rowan grumbled, avoiding Bucky’s eyes as he laughed. 

“She’s just lookin’ out for you, Red,” he said. 

“I know. And I’m glad she does, because honestly, life went pretty sideways after the Blip and she was the only one there that helped me through it all,” she said, picking at her rice. Rowan shook her head. “Sorry, you don’t wanna hear about this.”

Bucky sat up straighter and said, “If you want to talk about it, Rowan, then talk. I’ll listen.” She looked up from her food, meeting his gaze. There was nothing but sincerity in his blue eyes.

“It’s kind of… depressing,” she said with a bitter laugh. “I don’t want to start the night off with my ‘character flaw backstory’.”

“You forget who you’re talking to,” he said, raising a good-natured brow at her with a smirk. 

She pursed her lips in thought. “If you really want to know…”

“I do.”

She set her fork down. “I suppose I should tell you about Lucas and Nathan first.” Bucky nodded to let her know he was listening. “Lucas is- was my older brother by four years. While I was just getting into high school, he was in his last year. He had been dating this girl, Nora, since sophomore year, I think, and I swear I had never seen two people more made for each other than them. Once he graduated he immediately proposed. They got married as soon as possible and had Nathan a year later.” Rowan picked at the skin around her nails. “When Nathan was, I want to say two years old, they got into a car crash. Nora… she didn’t survive.”

Bucky brushed his hand over his stubble in deep thought as she continued. “It took my brother months, years before he was the same man again. But he still can’t find it in himself to look at the pictures they had together. When Nora died, I was a junior, getting ready for my senior year. I got through high school, helping him as best I could while trying to be the best fun aunt to Nathan that I could be. And then… the Blip happened. I was with Lucas and Nathan in the park when all of a sudden I watched as my brother disappeared before my very eyes. People all around us were vanishing, turning to ash and I just grabbed Nathan and ran. I took him back to my apartment, telling him that everything would be alright and his dad would be back. It wasn’t until I watched the news later that night that I knew that wasn’t true.”

“I learned my parents had disappeared too back in Tennessee. We don’t have much extended family in the country, so the next thing I knew I was eighteen and taking care of a four-year-old who just wanted his daddy back. I couldn’t tell him that I just wanted my brother back too. I had to go from being his aunt to being his mom and I couldn’t even comprehend what that meant at the time. That’s when I started working at the Velvet Vixen. I’d send Nathan to school, rush to work, rush to the university, all while having to balance being a mom at eighteen while mourning my entire family. It took me almost all of those five years to really learn how to do it.” She felt a hand grasping hers and looked to see Bucky had taken her in his grip. She looked up to meet him, seeing the concern etched in his eyes, but also unbreaking support. 

“That has to be the bravest thing I’ve ever heard, Rowan,” he said, squeezing her hand. 

She gave a watery chuckle, taking off her glasses to wipe away the tears from her eyes. “I wouldn’t say it was brave,” she said.

“It is,” Bucky said, shifting to sit closer to her on the small barstools. “You took control when no one else could. You were only eighteen! I know there aren’t many out there who would have the courage to make the sacrifices you did.”

Slipping her glasses back on, she shrugged and said, “I couldn’t let him lose another parent. That boy has seen enough death in his life.” Rowan took a deep breath as she said, “You know, it’s because of the Blip that I wanted to teach.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” she said. “Taking care of Nathan might have been the most difficult years of my life, but I learned a lot from him. When Lucas came back, I was relieved but also… frightened. It was so odd to see him again, unchanged in the five years I had spent mourning him. When he disappeared, I was his younger sister by four years. Now I’m older by one.” She sighed, shaking her head. “That damn Snap fucked me up. I can barely think about my own life without wondering how I’m going to take care of Nathan if this ever happens again.”

“Trauma doesn’t just go away overnight,” Bucky said. “It takes time. A lot of time, but sooner or later, you will begin to know that you’ve healed.”

“Is that how it is for you?” she asked. She felt his hand pull away from hers and instantly missed its warmth.

“Took me a long time to accept that what I did wasn’t my fault,” he told her, tapping his finger on the countertop. “Sometimes I still have trouble believing it. But I’ve come a long way from who I used to be. How I used to see myself.”

“Did you… Were you…?” she began but ended up snapping her fingers as a way to articulate her question.

“Yeah, I disappeared,” he said.

“What was that like?” 

He sat up straighter. “It was like… Like waking up from a nap. One minute everything was black, the next I was waking up in Wakanda being told I was gone for five years. That Steve needed my help. It all happened, for me, within five seconds.”

“I can’t even imagine,” she said, shaking her head. “I could never bring myself to ask Lucas what it felt like for him.”

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to go through it again,” he said with a stiff voice. 

Rowan finished up her food before she said, “Alright, enough of these dreary flashbacks. I brought you here to get drunk and that’s what we’re gonna do.” She turned up the music on her phone just a little, the soprano of Chappell Roan’s voice filling the air.

“You mean that’s what you’re going to do,” he said, pointing at her. “ I still can’t get drunk.”

“Maybe if I give you enough drinks, it’ll bypass your super serum,” she said, popping the cork off of a bottle of white rum. “Or maybe I’m just a wishful thinker and really, really want to see what you would look like drunk.”

“If you ever met Steve, he’d have plenty of good stories for you,” he said with a shake of his head. 

“Do you have any good stories for me?” she asked, grabbing mint and lime juice. The bashful look on his face gave her every answer she needed. “Please tell me one and don’t you dare hold back on the gritty details.”

“Maybe if you give me one of yours,” he said, leaning his elbows on the countertop. “You told me you had your fair share of parties in high school.”

Rowan groaned in response, wincing as she said, “You drive a hard bargain, Sergeant Barnes. But I must insist you go first.”

“Alright, alright,” he said, raising his hands in the air. “I think I was twenty-five or twenty-six and Steve and I were at Coney Island for the night. I was a little drunker than I should have been and he was practically carrying me back to the entrance when I saw, what I thought at the time, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life.” Bucky stopped, letting out a long and embarrassed sigh as he said, “Red, you better have a good story lined up after this. Anyway, I abandon Steve, who was already gasping from having to carry my ass out of Coney Island, and I run up to this girl.”

“Don’t tell me you confessed your undying love to this poor girl!” Rowan said, putting her hands over her mouth.

“Worse. I confessed my undying love to a cardboard cutout in front of a movie store.”

Rowan couldn’t help the burst of laughter that left her chest as Bucky covered his face with his hands, ears red from embarrassment. Tears threatened to form in her eyes at his expense, but she managed to wipe them away as she said, “Oh, my God! Dreamboat Bucky Barnes making out with a cardboard cutout.”

“I did not make out with it!” he said, although he couldn’t keep the laughing grin from his face. 

“Please tell me you got down on your knees.” When he didn’t answer she shook her head and said, “I miss the days when boys would go down on their knees for even cardboard cutouts.”

“Alright, I told my story,” he said quickly. “Now you give me yours.”

“Uh… First a drink?” she asked, sliding her finished cocktail to his side of the counter. “I give you: a mojito.”

“I’ve had mojitos before.”

“Maybe, but not my mojitos.”

“You’re trying to change the subject and I won’t let you,” Bucky said, setting the drink aside. “Cough it up, Burke.”

“Ugh, fine,” she said with a wrinkle in her nose. “So, I’m seventeen, just starting my senior year of high school, and I’m at, quite possibly, the biggest party I’ve ever been to in my life. It was way outside of town at some rich kid’s private house. People from at least four different schools just running around the place, getting drunk. I was, unfortunately, one of them.” Rowan took off her glasses. She really didn’t want to be able to clearly see his reaction. “I’m at least four or five drinks in, I can’t really remember all that well, but my friend dared me to skinny dip in the rich kid’s pool.”

“If someone did that back when I was growing up, we’d all be put in prison,” Bucky said. She swore she could hear the smirk in his voice.

“New times,” she said with a shrug. “So, after my friend tells me to do this I obviously, for some reason, think it’s a great idea. The next thing I know, I’m tearing off my clothes before running and jumping into the gigantic pool, and soon enough everyone’s stripping and we’re all just running around the house naked and drunk.” Disgust made its way to her face as the memory resurfaced. “And that is how I met my first boyfriend.”

“At the party?”

“It was his party.”

Bucky laughed heartily at her story, and it was only then she was brave enough to put her glasses back on so he wasn’t a moving blur. Meeting his smile was like a breath of fresh air. His nose wrinkled adorably as he grinned from ear to ear. It was the biggest smile she had seen on his face yet. “What I wouldn’t give to meet you in that phase,” he said, his grin turning sly as her cheeks lit up red.

“Alright, shut up. You wanted to make love to a cardboard cutout of Judy Garland,” she said, throwing her towel at him.

“Actually, it was Ingrid Bergman. They were promoting Casablanca ,” he said. The shame of his story seemed to disappear. 

“I love that movie!” Rowan said. “Okay, wait, before we say anything else, try the drink.”

Bucky picked it up and said, “I told you I’ve had mojitos before. I know what they taste like.”

“I’ll bet you anything it’s changed since you last tried it, like, eighty years ago,” she said, a hand on her hip.

Bucky gave her a challenging expression before taking a drink from the straw. The way his brows raised gave her an inclination, but when he spoke he said, “Okay, fine. You might be right.”

“See? Better,” she said.

“I never said better,” he said quickly, licking his lips free of the taste. “But, pretty damn good.” He took another drink. Rowan could see he was doing everything in his power not to let her know she was right.

“You definitely think it’s better,” she said, leaning forward to grab it from his hands to take a drink of her own. The mix of lime and white rum burned down her throat and nose in a pleasing manner. “So fucking good. I love rum.”

“I can see that,” Bucky said with a shake of his head. “What’s next?”

“You have yet to taste a cosmopolitan,” Rowan said, already preparing the vodka. “By the way, on the topic of movies, what have you seen since coming to this time?”

Bucky let out a long breath, shaking his head. “There’s so many movies and books nowadays that I never know where to start. I remember taking my sisters to see Snow White when it first came out with my mom, but now there are so many of those Disney movies I can barely keep up.”

“What about non-animated films? Action and sci-fi and stuff like that,” she asked. 

“Westerns were the way to go when I was younger,” he said with a smile. “Now there’s barely any being made. I did end up watching one of those space movies that are popular. Uh, Star Wars I think it was called.”

“And?”

He let out a laugh. “It was something, that’s for sure.”

“I used to love Star Wars as a kid,” she said, shaking the mixer. “Still do, but I don’t watch it as often as I used to. Although, one movie I can watch over and over again and never get bored of is Jurassic Park .”

“Think I heard Sam mentioning that one time,” Bucky said as he thought back. “It’s dinosaurs, right? Like, animated?”

Rowan laughed gently as she said, “In a different sense.”  He raised his brow at her in question. “It’s based on a horror book made to warn everyone about the dangers of genetic testing and the science of bringing back extinct animals. I’d tell you to read the book first just because of how fucking good it is, but you should really watch the movie as soon as possible. It’s utterly incredible. It changed the way movies use digital images forever.”

“Well, maybe we could get together again sometime and do just that,” he said. When she peered up to look at him, she tried not to let her fluttering butterflies overtake her ability to think. “You seem to know a lot about movies and Sam keeps telling me I need to understand the references he makes all the damn time.”

“I took a history of film class as an elective in my first year of college,” she said, pouring out the drink. “I had to watch a lot of movies with Nathan during that time. Although I had to kick him out when Nosferatu was on my watchlist.”

“You had to watch Nosferatu ?” Bucky asked with a crease in his brows.

“It’s a classic!”

“It is?!”

Rowan looked back at him with humor in her eyes. “You gotta understand, Bucky. Everything from your time is considered a classic nowadays,” she told him, sliding the drink his way. “For your enjoyment: the cosmopolitan.”

“Thank you,” he said, taking the drink. “Am I considered a classic?”

She gave him a wink and said, “I’d consider you a classic.”

“Great. Now I feel even older,” he said with a grumble in his chest, taking a deep drink of the cocktail. When he set it down, he grunted slightly. “That’s a lot of vodka,” he said, his voice just a tad raspier.

“Yeah, I added extra just for you,” she said, taking a small sip. There was only so much vodka she could take at a time. “I figured you were in Russia for a while. Don’t they drink vodka like water over there?”

Bucky coughed out a laugh, shaking his head as he said, “You know what? Sometimes they do. Other than slapping vodka in my face, that’s a decent drink.”

“Better or worse than the mojito?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

“I gotta say, I like it when my drinks have a kick to them,” he said. “Better.”

“Do you enjoy pain? I don’t get that,” she asked with a deadpan look.

Bucky merely shrugged. “The kick just means it’s working.”

“Not for you!”

“Then why are you still drinking the cosmopolitan?”

As she set the glass down from another, larger, sip, she scoffed and said, “Doesn’t mean I don’t like getting buzzed.”

He stared at her in awe. “How much of a lightweight are you?”

“Oh, no, I still need a few more drinks after this to start feeling it,” she said, sliding it over for him to finish off. “Since I have the vodka out, I might as well make you an appletini.”

It didn’t take long for her to mix that drink, sliding it to him before he took a sip. His instant dissatisfaction was clear as he winced and said, “Why is it so… appley? And sweet?”

“Ah, that would be the schnapps,” she said, holding up the bottle. The green liquid sloshed inside. 

Bucky showed his clear dislike for the drink, sliding it back to her as he said, “I think we should stay away from the green drinks. That one was bad.”

“Aw, I guess that means no to the grasshopper,” she said with a light pout. She saw his gaze flicker down to her lips, but before she could truly catch it, he was looking down at the countertop. Rowan shrugged it off as a trick of the light. 

As the hours passed, Rowan felt herself become slightly and pleasantly buzzed by the drinks she was making while Bucky seemed utterly unaffected. Still, he tried each drink she gave him, telling her his likes and dislikes. She could see this manner of picking out the things he enjoyed was almost therapeutic to him. She recalled their first meeting as she slid a vesper his way, how he had told her he didn’t know what he enjoyed. Just the simple task of picking what he liked and disliked took years of experiences that were snatched away from him before he had the chance to even try. If Rowan could help him find some footing in the world again, she would try. And if that started with helping him pick out cocktails, then she would do it to the best of her ability.

She began lightly humming to Luke Combs before his song drifted into another Chappell Roan melody. The new artist had popped up soon after the Blip, her catchy tunes and lively songs a breath of fresh air. Rowan began to lightly sing the lyrics under her breath as she prepared a Ramos Fizz. The long process for the drink had her blanking out for a few seconds, absent-mindedly singing. She never would have tried singing in front of Bucky, but with a good few drinks in her system, her inhibitions were lowering. It was only when she noticed his confused stare at the speaker that she listened to the words being said. 

~When you wake up next to him

In the middle of the night

With your head in your hands

You’re nothing more than his wife

And when you think about me

All of those years ago

You’re standing face to face

With ‘I told you so’~

The furrow in his brow deepened, his quizzical expression going from the speaker to her as she laughed while shaking the drink. “You alright there, Bucky?” she asked, trying to hide her smile.

“Yeah, just, uh…” he began, pointing at the speaker. “I don’t get the lyrics.”

Rowan almost dropped her shaker with a gasp before collecting herself as she said, “Oh, Bucky, she’s talking about a girl.”

His brows raised so high she thought they would touch his hairline from how surprised he was. “What?” he said.

“The singer likes girls, so she wrote her song about girls,” Rowan said simply. She gave a shrug as she poured the drink out. “It’s one of the reasons she’s so popular.”

Bucky cleared his throat as he said, “Oh. I didn’t know that. I just wasn’t expecting…”

She furrowed her brows, a little bit troubled. “Do you want me to change the song-”

“No!” Bucky said, shaking his head. “I… like it. It’s catchy.”

“You don’t have a problem with it?”

“Doll, just because I grew up in the 30s doesn’t mean I have an issue with it,” he said. He gave her a light smile to tell her he wasn’t offended. 

“Look at you, being open-minded,” she said, pouring the soda top over the drink. “Besides, I don’t expect you had music in the 40s that talked about eating a girl out in the passenger’s seat of a car.”

“Wait, what?!”

Rowan continued to laugh at his startled, yet amused, expression. “Oh, I have to have you listen to Casual someday.” Bucky nodded along with her words, still stunned by the revelation. “Have you been listening to any of the music nowadays?”

He gave a shake of his head. “I prefer 40s music. Better to dance to.”

She stopped, staring at him in awe as she said, “You can dance?”

Bucky gave a light laugh as he said, “What do you think we did to pass the time? Sat around drinking tea?”

“I know you weren’t a Victorian grandma, asshole,” she said as she slid the drink his way. He took it with appreciation. “I just didn’t expect…” she gestured over his body, “ you to be a dancing kind of guy.”

“Not what you consider to be dancing nowadays,” he said, taking a sip of the drink. He furrowed his brows. “Wow, that’s a thick drink. Is that gin?” She hummed a nod as he took another drink. “Not what I would usually count as a good drink, but I like it.”

Rowan took it back and drank some herself before she said, “I take it you’ve tried to go out and dance and found yourself severely underprepared?”

“I don’t know if what I saw was dancing or dry humping,” he said, causing her to snort in laughter. She covered her nose in embarrassment as she continued to laugh. 

“It’s, um, a bit of both, I guess,” she said. “What do you consider dancing?”

He went to speak, but instead pointed to her speaker and asked, “May I?” When she gave him the go-ahead, he took her phone and scrolled through it for a few minutes before the high tone of Chappell’s voice was replaced with the soft vibrato of Frank Sinatra. Young At Heart began floating through the apartment in comforting tones. She watched with narrowed eyes as he stood and rounded the island before he was in front of her, holding out his hand. “Let me show you.”

She gave a light laugh as she said, “I’m not exactly the best dancer.”

He smiled down at her and said, “Well, then it’s a good thing I’m a great one. Just let me lead you. You’ll be alright, Red.”

With one last itch of hesitation, she took his hand, allowing him to lead her to the center of her apartment. Bucky gave her a sweet smile, one that made his eyes glimmer, as he put her left hand on his shoulder and took her right in his metal one. His flesh hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer. Rowan resisted the urge to gasp as she felt his warm body press into hers before he lightly began to sway back and forth. His gaze didn’t leave hers until she relaxed, allowing herself to rest her cheek on his chest. He was warm, urging her to step just a little closer to him. She felt his hand wrap tighter around her waist, allowing her to smile as she felt it. 

“ This is dancing,” he whispered in her ear, his lips grazing her skin. 

If this was the way he seduced women back in the day, she could see just how well it worked. All she wanted to do was drag him back into her bedroom and let him have his way with her, but she also didn’t want to leave the warmth of his embrace as they swayed back and forth to Sinatra’s voice. Rowan had never felt more relaxed, more intimate, or even more loved in her entire life. She could hear his steady heartbeat beneath her cheek, closing her eyes as she listened to it match the rhythm of the music almost perfectly. She wanted to hear that sound every single day. She wanted to wake up to it. She wanted to stop being afraid for once in her life and let go. 

She wanted to let go with Bucky.

Rowan leaned her head back a little bit, her eyes taking in every inch of his face. His eyes, his stubble, his chin, his eyebrows, before finally settling on his lips. She felt those lips gently reach forward and kiss her forehead, but they lingered behind as she tilted her head just enough for their noses to brush against one another. She felt her heart racing, her blood pumping, her entire body catching fire as her eyes slid shut, feeling his warm breath against her lips. They had stopped dancing, his hold on her tightening as she broke the seal between them and pressed her lips to his.

At first, she was hesitant, testing the waters. The kiss was just a light brush against his mouth. It was so light, she almost wasn’t sure if she had done it. But when Bucky pulled her closer and pressed them back together, she knew she wasn’t dreaming. This was too real. Too hot. The hand on his shoulder reached up to pull his head down to her, their kiss becoming deeper as his lips moved against hers with what seemed like desperation. When her hand slid into his hair, she swore she heard him groan against her lips, tilting his head to deepen the kiss as much as he could. The bravery the alcohol had given her urged her to lick against his lips, their tongues meeting between the kiss as his hand left hers to hold her between her jaw and her neck. The cold feeling of his vibranium hand was like ice against her heated skin.

Rowan’s hands reached down to grasp at the lapels of his jacket, muffling a small moan as Bucky explored her mouth with fervor. She moved them back until her legs hit the edge of her couch and pulled him down over her as she laid back, their passionate and heated embrace never leaving as his hand slid along the skin of her leg. She had never been gladder to be wearing shorts than when she felt Bucky’s nimble fingers gripping her thigh, pulling her leg up as he tilted to ravage her lips against his. It was only when he bumped against her glasses that he pulled away to stop. When she looked at him, his hair was in disarray and his lips were red and swollen from the intensity of their kiss. He was laughing, smiling at the way she fixed her glasses from his loving attack.

Rowan couldn’t help herself, a chuckle leaving her lips as she pulled him back down to her. Instead of kissing her lips, he pressed kisses to her neck. They were chaste and far too quick. “Would it be embarrassing to say I’ve waited a long time to do that?” he asked into her ear.

“If that was true, we’d both be,” she said, running her hands through his dark hair. She managed to say, “Stay with me tonight.”

She felt him smile against her skin, pressing one last kiss before he leaned up, pulling her to sit up on the couch with him. “As much as I would love to, and believe me I want to,” he began, gently holding her hand, “you’ve had a lot of drinks tonight, Red. I’m not going to sleep with you after all that.” Disappointment settled in her belly, replacing the heated desire that had lingered behind. “Winnifred Barnes raised a gentleman. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to take you out on a date first. A proper one, not crappy Chinese takeout. Then we can… see where this goes.”

He gave her that debonair smile she always melted at. “Oh, my God, Barnes. You’re from a dream, I swear.” She brought him into another kiss, this one slow, but just as passionate. She felt his hand resting on her cheek when she pulled away.

“You gotta know, Rowan, before we try to do anything, what you’re getting into,” he said, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “I come with a lot of baggage that you don’t need in your life. I’m sent away on dangerous missions, sometimes for days or weeks at a time. I don’t want you to enter into something so difficult without knowing. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt because of me.”

She kissed the palm of his hand before taking his vibranium hand and doing the same. “Everyone’s got baggage, Bucky. I learned the hard way that sharing the weight makes it easier. On both of us,” she said, giving him a light smile.

He returned it, leaning his forehead against hers as he shook his head and said, “How’d I get so lucky to have you in my life?”

“You walked into my bar,” she said.

“Oh, yeah. You gave me beer.”

“Are you implying I intended to get you drunk to seduce you?”

“Even if you did, I’d have fallen for you anyway,” he said, leaning in to kiss her one last time. “Okay, last one. If I kiss you again, I won’t be able to stop.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” she asked as he pulled away. He gave her a stern look, pulling on his jacket that she hadn’t even realized she had thrown off of him in the midst of their kissing. “Alright, alright.” She stood and the world turned dizzy for a single moment. “Whoa, stood up too fast.”

“Okay, I think we’re done drinking for tonight,” he said, steadying her in his arms. “Let me help you clean up.”

“Oh, no, Bucky, you don’t have to do that,” she said. She forced herself to leave his arms to finish off the last of their Ramos Fizz. He took it away from her before she could even try. “I’m already buzzed and you’re already leaving. I’m not going to try to jump your bones tonight, I swear.”

“I just don’t want you falling,” he said with a laugh as he began to put her cups in the sink, turning on the water and rolling up his sleeves. “You already almost ate the carpet.”

“You’re no fun when you’re responsible,” she said, putting away the alcohol.

Bucky helped her clean the entire kitchen, wiping up spills and washing all her dishes before the room was entirely spotless. Rowan was almost sad when the kitchen was clean, knowing he would soon be leaving. When she led him to the door, his hand grasped hers after she had opened it and pulled her into another kiss. She smiled against his lips, doing everything she could to urge him to stay longer with just her kisses. Unfortunately, he pulled away, his nose bumping against hers as he smiled and said, “Tomorrow night? I’ll pick you up at six?”

“You’re so lucky tomorrow is Tuesday,” she said.

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a yes.”

“Good.” With one last chaste kiss, he slipped out the door and said, “Goodnight, Red.”

“Goodnight, Bucky,” Rowan said. It took them both a moment to move before he started walking away and she shut the door behind herself. 

Her fingers traced her lips, the heat of Bucky’s pressed against hers still making her tingle from head to toe. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she ran to her phone and called Dahlia. She whispered to herself ‘pick up’ over and over again until finally, Dahlia’s voice lit up the apartment.

“Hey, Ro’. How was cocktail night with Sergeant Hot Stuff?” Dahlia asked.

“It was good,” Rowan started out, sounding as nonchalant as she could. “Made him a few drinks, I told him about Nathan and Lucas, he told me about the 40s, we kissed-”

“ You fucking what?! ” Dahlia all but screeched. “Why the fuck didn’t you start by telling me you made out with that man?!”

“Dahlia, he asked me out,” she said, the smile on her face growing with every passing minute. “We’re going out tomorrow night.”

“It’s happening. Okay, it’s happening, everyone! Stay calm!” Dahlia exclaimed, turning away from her phone to shout. Rowan didn’t know where she was, but she hoped to God she wasn’t at the bar. “Okay, okay. Firstly, I’ll be there to help you tomorrow because you haven’t been on a date in six years and you need help.”

“Hey, I can dress myself-”

“Secondly, I’m going to need all the nitty gritty little details about tonight and tomorrow because, again, you haven’t gone on a date since you were eighteen and I have been deprived .” 

“I was going to tell you everything anyway, Lia,” Rowan said, rolling her eyes with a laugh. “But… I would appreciate the help with what to wear.”

“Oh, I have the perfect idea for what you should wear.” Rowan could practically hear the smirk in Dahlia’s voice. “You remember that 50s party I went to? I have just the thing for you, Ro’.”

Rowan’s note to self: Always, always, always call Dahlia for dating advice. 

Chapter Text

“I don’t know what to do, Sam. I haven’t been on a date since 1943.”

Alpine watched Bucky pace back and forth in the middle of his living room, running his hand through his hair with his phone to his ear. He could feel her eyes following every step as he panicked.

“Uh… Buck, you know that isn’t true, right? What about those girls you found on dating apps?”

Bucky coughed, glancing down at his feet as he said, “Yeah, those weren’t exactly real dates.”

“Once a hound dog, always a hound dog.”

“Shut the fuck up, Sam. What should I do?”

He heard Sam’s laughter on the other end of his phone. He could just imagine the stupid gleeful look on his face and rolled his eyes at the image. “Look, man, this girl, Rowan, you said her name was?” Bucky knew he would regret that little detail. “She seems to really like you just for you. You want to wine and dine her? Go wine and dine her.”

“I was never really one for the dinner dates in the first place,” he said, shaking his head. “Do you think that’s what she’s expecting?”

“From what you told me, she’d be bored on a dinner date.” Bucky felt panic once again seeping into his bones. “Now, that’s just what I think. But what do you want to do with her?”

“I want to show her around town a little,” he said. “She’s from Tennessee and I doubt she had the time in the last few years to go beyond the four blocks around her apartment.”

“A southern bell. How adorable.”

“Sam.”

“Sorry.”

He clenched his jaw. “Dancing isn’t a thing anymore, at least not the way I know it.”

“Well, what else did you like to do?”

“Nothing that’s still around except-” Bucky cut himself off, a sudden idea coming to his head. Epiphany hit, and he said, “Thanks for your help, Sam.”

“I’m always here if you need me, Bucky. Call me and let me know how it goes.”

Bucky managed a smile. “Will do.” He hung up, quickly shooting a text to Rowan before settling down on his couch. He felt Alpine curl up in his lap and stroked down her white fur. Relief replaced the anxiety in his bones as he let out a deep sigh. “I gotta get up and get ready, Alpine,” he said to the cat, who just curled up deeper into his lap. He laughed at her insistence. “I can’t exactly take you with me where we’re going, malyshka .”

#

–Bucky: Wear something loose and comfortable tonight, Red. See you at seven ;)

“Aw, he texts with the little parenthesis still,” Dahlia said, puckering her lip out.

Rowan ran from her bedroom, snatching her phone from Dahlia’s hand as she said, “Stop snooping through my texts, you creep.” Reading the text, she let a smile lift onto her face.

 “‘Loose and comfortable’. I wonder where the hell you’re going tonight.”

“Well, Bucky doesn’t really seem to like sitting in a crowded restaurant with classical music playing in the background,” she said, returning to her room to finish brushing her hair. “Unless he’s drinking beer at the Vixen, of course.”

“Of course,” Dahlia said, setting out the clothes she pulled for Rowan. “So then, what are you doing?”

“I’m not the one planning the damn thing. I’m just going along for the ride,” she said, fluffing her hair out.

“Oh, hell yeah you are,” Dahlia said with a nod and a wily grin.

“I would normally say ‘shut the fuck up, Lia’, but I was this close–” she pinched her thumb and forefinger together, “–to having that man in my bed last night. I will not fail tonight.”

Dahlia gasped, a bright grin lighting up her face as she hugged Rowan from behind and said, “Look at my little soory ke prakaash kee kiran ! Becoming just as open about her sexual desires as her adhyaapak ! I’m so proud of you!”

“I am not your ray of sunshine,” Rowan said with a laugh.

Dahlia let out a whine. “I miss the days when I didn’t teach you Hindi.”

“Too late now,” Rowan said with a sing-song voice.

They shared a small laugh. “Also, I brought these for you,” she said with a smirk, slipping out a box of condoms from her bag. Rowan groaned and covered her face with her hands as Dahlia slipped them into her nightstand. “Hey, you don’t want to have any surprises in a month from now.”

“Thanks, Lia. That is the last thing I need to forget,” she said, breathing out in relief.

“But really, Ro’,” Dahlia said, her mien turning serious. “I do hope this night goes perfectly for you.”

“I don’t need it to be perfect. I just…” She took a deep breath, almost laughing at herself. “I really want Bucky to be in my life.”

Dahlia’s smile turned soft as she took Rowan’s hands and said, “Then let’s start with tonight, shall we?”

Rowan didn’t have much in the way of makeup, choosing instead to go for a natural look. Bucky had seen her at her worst more than he had at her best. And while she still wanted to look beautiful for him, she knew she could knock him off his feet just by looking at him (if their cocktail night was any indication). She pulled on the short-sleeved white blouse from her closet as well as a black twirling skirt she hadn’t worn since high school. She was shocked it still fit, but it hugged her beautifully around her waist. She didn’t want to wear heels, but Dahlia insisted she wear the little black velvet ones that had been sitting in the back of her closet since freshman year of college. She topped it off with her black-rimmed glasses.

Dahlia steepled her hands in front of her lips as Rowan watched herself in the mirror, insecurity seeping into her bones. “Ro, you’re going to knock him dead!” she said, her voice nearing a squeal.

“You think so?” she asked, brushing a stray hair away. She smoothed out the skirt, her fingers pinching the soft fabric. “You sure it isn’t too much? Or is it not enough?”

“I think it’s perfect,” Dahlia said as she hugged Rowan from behind. She pressed a wet smack of a kiss to her cheek, causing her to push her friend backward with a laugh. “You know he’s crazy about you. I know he’s crazy about you. He looks at you like you’re the entire world, Ro’. No, scratch that, the entire universe .”

“Thank you for that extreme exaggeration, Lia, but come on,” Rowan said with a shake of her head. “We’ve only known each other for a few months. Besides, he’s been surrounded by superheroes since he came back to being himself. What makes me…” she trailed off.

“Say what you need to say,” Dahlia said.

Rowan sighed. “What makes me so special?”

Dahlia shrugged, taking both her hands, as she said, “Because he chose you.”

“But why-”

A knock on the door startled her from her worries. Only they grew tenfold once she realized who was on the other side. “Ask him yourself,” Dahlia said with a wide grin. “I’ll be back here, silent as a lamb.”

“Not a single word!” Rowan said, shoving Dahlia back until she was pushed into the kitchen.

Once Dahlia was effectively out of the way, Rowan rushed back to the door and swung it open. She felt her knees buckle lightly as she took him in. His usual casual jacket and shirt were replaced with a sports jacket and a black button-up. His hair seemed a little more tame than usual. He still wore his jeans, but they hugged his thighs deliciously. Only his left hand was covered in a glove. In his right, he held a small bouquet of peonies and calla lilies. 

“Wow, Red,” Bucky said, his eyes roaming from her feet all the way up to her eyes. “You look…” He smiled when he met her eyes. “I’m speechless.”

“You don’t clean up so bad yourself,” she said. She forced herself to stop looking at the way the buttons on his dress shirt strained across his chest.

Bucky handed her the small bouquet, saying, “I remember you saying you didn’t like roses.”

“Oh, Bucky,” she said, taking the flowers. “Peonies are my favorite.”

“Seems I guess right then,” he said.

“You seem to have a knack for that.” She couldn’t keep the smile from her lips as she said, “Let me put these in water and we can go.”

Bucky nodded with her. She could feel his eyes on her as she turned to grab a small vase from the kitchen and set the flowers on the table. Dahlia caught her eye, pretending to be too busy making her own food before giving her an ecstatic grin. “Hi, Dahlia,” Bucky said with a light wave.

“Hey, Bucky,” Dahlia said, waving back. “You take good care of her tonight, alright? Because if I find out you hurt her, Lucas and I will hunt you down. I don’t care if you’ve got a metal arm. I’ll hit you with it if anything happens to my Ro’.”

“I’d give you my arm if I ever hurt her,” Bucky said. 

“Glad to see we understand each other,” Dahlia said, biting into a sandwich with narrowed eyes.

“Okay, bye Dahlia,” Rowan said as she quickly took Bucky’s hand and started to pull him out of her apartment.

“Bye, Ro’! Have fun! I promise I won’t be here when you get back, so use protection!”

“Shut up, Lia!” Rowan replied in the same sing-song voice she had used. All she heard before she shut the door behind her was Dahlia’s laughter. She looked up to meet Bucky’s amused eyes. “Sorry about her.”

“Like I said yesterday, she’s just watching out for you,” he said. He held out his hand for her. “You ready?”

She took it with a glad smile, his hand dwarfing hers. “As I’ll ever be.”

She laced their fingers together as they turned down the stairs, leaving the apartment complex. Rowan didn’t see a car, but she did see a single motorcycle sitting just in front of her building. “I hope you don’t mind if we take my bike,” he asked. 

Rowan didn’t realize she had a weakness for men with bikes until that very moment. “No, it’s fine. I’ve just never ridden on a motorcycle before,” she said. She subconsciously tugged at her skirt.

“I won’t let you fall,” he said, handing her an extra helmet. “If I do, you can let Dahlia beat me with my own arm.”

Rowan grinned as she took the helmet from his hands and said, “She’d enjoy that, y’know.”

“Oh, I believe you.” Rowan climbed on behind Bucky, wrapping her arms around his torso just loose enough so she wouldn’t be pressed against him. “You ready?” he asked. With a thumbs up his way, he started the bike, and soon they were riding away down the street. Instantly, Rowan tightened her grip on him until she was held against his back. She could feel the hard planes of muscles beneath his shirt, her thumbs tracing into the fabric of his shirt. He went slowly down the street, but it wasn’t long until he came to a stop, allowing her to sit back up and take off the helmet. 

“Where are we going?” she asked. Just as she was about to get off, he held out his hand to help her. She took the aid gratefully, holding onto his bicep as he smiled down at her. He seemed unusually giddy.

“It’s a surprise,” he said. Clasping her hand in his, he guided her down the street until they stopped just beneath a large sign that read Coney Island . 

“Oh, my God, Bucky,” she said in awe. “Are you taking me to Coney Island?”

“If that’s where you want to go,” he said, his smile becoming almost nervous. 

Rowan’s awe turned to pure joy as she said, “I’ve never been to Coney Island before! I’ve never had the time and Nathan always wanted to go.”

“So, you like it?” he asked.

“I love it,” she said, taking both his hands in hers. “Besides, I know you used to come here all the time with your friend when you were young. I want to see what made Coney Island so special to James Barnes.” Rowan began pulling him along the sidewalk. “Come on, Sergeant, we’ve only got so much of the night ahead of us.”

Bucky’s gaze turned mischievous as he pulled her under his arm, draping it over her shoulders and whispering, “Doll, if you’re gonna call me Sergeant, you better be ready to pay for it later.” He finished with a light kiss behind her ear that made her shiver. She smirked lightly, intent on paying for it as much as she could.

When they walked to the amusement park, Bucky’s eyes turned awe-stricken, gazing around at everything that had changed and everything that had stayed the same. Rowan watched him with compassion as she said, “Have you come back here since returning to New York?”

“No,” he said, his wistful smile turning gleeful. “Last time I was here, a lot of this didn’t exist.”

“Well, what do you want to do first?” she asked.

He looked down at her, shaking his head. “No, no, Red. You’ve never been to Coney Island before. I want you to pick what we do first.”

“How can I pick if I don’t know what I’m looking for?” she asked. 

“I don’t even know what half of what’s here is .”

“Okay, compromise,” she said, putting her hands on his shoulders. Rowan tried to stop her smile as she felt his settle at her waist. “We explore this place together. Start from what you know and make our way down. Deal?”

“Deal.” Bucky pressed a light kiss to her forehead before taking her hand. “Come on, I heard they still have the Cyclone.”

Rowan laughed at the giddy look in his eye. She hadn’t seen Bucky let himself so loose in the time they had known one another. He led her down the boardwalk, paying for both their tickets to the Cyclone. The next thing she knew, Rowan was trying her best to keep her glasses from flying off her face as she was whipped back and forth on the Cyclone roller coaster. She could hear Bucky’s exclamations of excitement beside her before she felt his hand wrap around hers. Her stomach dropped with the coaster’s fall, adrenaline and excitement running through her veins until the very last moment of the ride. Rowan brushed her hair aside from her face, laughing as she looked to meet Bucky. He was leaning his head back, a grin lighting up his entire expression.

“I forgot how much fun that was,” he said when they climbed off, helping Rowan until she was safe on two feet. “What did you think?”

“For that being the first roller coaster I’ve ever been on, it was amazing,” she said. “Although, I wish I had brought a hairbrush.” She ran her fingers through her tangled hair, fixing her headband before seeing Bucky look at her with high brows.

“That was your first coaster ever?” he asked. 

“My family didn’t travel much,” she said. She stood up on her toes to fix his hair, which he smiled softly at. “Furthest we got was Nashville.”

“Well, I’m honored to have been present for your first coaster experience,” he said, fixing her glasses once she had settled his hair. “I hope you enjoyed it.”

“I more than enjoyed it, Buck,” she said. “I want to see what else they have here!”

Bucky led her down through what he knew his Coney Island was like. They walked along the boardwalk, looking out at the beach, and splurged for the crappy hot dogs from a nearby vendor. While she knew they weren’t the best she had in her life, she couldn’t be happier to be spending this time with Bucky beside her, who complained about the fact that hot dogs used to be only thirty cents. He took her down to the carousel, where she wouldn’t let Bucky take a ride on another horse, and pulled him on behind her, his hands tightly grasping at her waist as he smiled into her neck. Rowan couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun with someone else, date or not. Bucky seemed to know just what to say and just where to hold her. He held her close whenever he could, his hands lingering against her skin, making his desire more than clear with her. But she would look into his blue eyes and see nothing but loving and simple compassion for the time they were spending together.

Rowan practically begged Bucky to go through the Coney Island museum, where they saw glimpses of how his life used to be before the war. He talked to her about the different vintage signs they had hung around the museum, as well as a few of the photos that had been taken that were hanging around them. There was even one of him and Steve before the war had hit and Steve had become the hero known to the world as Captain America.

“I knew he was small before the war, but I never thought…” she said, trailing off as she looked over the picture. 

“The man weighed ninety pounds soaking wet, and he still would never run from a fight,” Bucky said, his eyes roaming over the picture. 

Rowan looked from Steve to Bucky in the photo, before the world had taken him and tried to rip out his soul. His hair was fluffier then and there was a wide smile on his face, one she had only seen a few times. He was clean-shaven in the photo, unlike the stubble he liked to keep around for her. “I’m glad I got to see this,” she said. She could feel him squeeze her hand, trying to find the support she offered. “I wish I could have met Steve.”

She didn’t miss the hesitation in Bucky’s response before he said, “He’d love you, Red.”

When they left the museum, Rowan glanced down at her phone to see that hours had passed since they had first arrived in Coney Island. “Oh, it’s getting late,” she said, setting her phone back in her little purse. “I have an early class in the morning.”

She felt Bucky deflate beside her until he said, “Alright, I just want us to do one last thing and then we should get you back to your apartment.”

“What did you have in mind?” she asked, following him down the boardwalk.

“You’ll see.”

The little grin on his face never left until they were standing in front of the entrance to the Wonder Wheel. It wasn’t until they were in line for the ride that she looked up at him and said, “So this is your grand finale for tonight, hm?”

“I really hope you don’t count this as the finale for the entire night,” he said. His fingers gently ran across her cheekbone. 

“Oh, definitely not,” she said. After a few moments of examining the Wonder Wheel from afar, she turned to him and asked, “How many girls have you taken on the Wonder Wheel?”

Bucky blanched, chuckling with an awkward scratch of his neck as he said, “Uh, I plead the fifth.”

Rowan couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from her chest, shaking her head as she took him by his jacket lapels and said, “I really don’t care how you ran around town back then, Buck. I just know this is labeled the ‘most romantic ride in the world’ and I can see little Bucky bringing all his pretty dates up here.”

“I wasn’t that little, doll. Don’t picture the wrong idea,” he said, pulling her into him.

“Trust me, I wasn’t.”

When they were called for their ride, Bucky put his arm up and over her shoulder and pulled her into his side as they sat. Rowan risked to place her head on his shoulder, sighing contently as she felt him press a kiss to the top of her head. As they went up, they saw more and more of the blinking lights of Coney Island before they were able to look out and see Brooklyn. The moon had risen high above them as they went up towards the top of the wheel, and it was there she felt Bucky’s arm slide down to her waist. She turned to look at him, her eyes glancing over every minute detail of her face before she felt his finger beneath her chin.

“I’m real glad I got to take you here with me,” he said. Rowan leaned into the feeling.

“I am too,” she said, shifting closer to him. “Now, are you going to sit there staring all night, or are you going to kiss me, Sarge?”

He didn’t give her a second to say another word before pressing his lips to hers, his fingers tracing gently down her neck, settling to pull her closer. There wasn’t much space to move, but Rowan cupped his cheek in hers, urging herself as close to him as she could manage, tracing his lips with hers before he pulled back, leaning his forehead against hers. He pushed her red hair aside, cupping her jaw as he said, “I don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to kissin’ you like that.”

The slip of his old Brooklyn accent made her kiss him again as she said, “You’re one to talk.” It was when they pulled away a second time that she said, “Okay, now I get why they call this the most romantic ride in the world.”

When they were forced to depart the Wonder Wheel, Rowan was sad their little bubble of intimacy had been broken. Even so, she smiled up at Bucky as he took her hand and led them out of the amusement park. As they approached his bike, he turned to her and said, “So, how was your first time at Coney Island?”

“Wonderful,” she said. “I couldn’t have asked for a better night, Bucky. Thank you.”

“Feel like I should be thankin’ you,” he said. “You’re the one who forced me from my shell of confinement and got me to fall for you.”

“You fell for me?” she asked, a cheeky grin on her face. 

“You made it hard not to.”

Kissing Bucky made Rowan dizzy in a way that had her itching for more. Whenever she pressed up against him, feeling his arms wrapped around her, she melted into a small puddle, her head reeling that she was even lucky enough to kiss a man like him. When he pulled back to gaze into her eyes, she blinked enough to regain her senses as she said, “So, that was a date.”

His smile turned debonair as he said, “It was. And I promised I’d be a gentleman about this.”

“You’ve been nothing but since I met you,” she said, tightening her hold on his jacket.

“It’s just how I was raised,” he said, kissing her again. It was too short, too chaste, and she chased his lips to bring him back to her. She could feel his smile before he said, “Before we hop on my bike and I take you back to your apartment, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Ask away.”

His thumb brushed her cheek as he asked, “Would you be my best girl, Red?”

Everything he did was worthy of a horrible, knee-buckling swoon in her books. Especially when he was vintage on her. “I will absolutely be your girl, Buck,” she said, pulling him down into another kiss. She intended to let him go with a chaste press of her lips, but Bucky wasn’t having it. His arm wrapped around her waist as he gripped her neck, pressing his tongue to her lips and deepening their embrace. She gasped, her hand in his hair. When Bucky ended their kiss, his eyes were dark. “My apartment. Now,” she said, giving him one more kiss before they climbed onto the motorcycle.

She could feel how tense Bucky was on the drive back to their street. To ease it, as best she could, she gently stroked her hand against his chest, maintaining her tight grip to ensure she wouldn’t fall off. She could feel him slowly relaxing, grabbing her over his chest before he returned his hand to the handlebars. Rowan was tempted to kiss wherever she could on his neck, but distracting him while he was driving a bike down a busy New York street was just asking for death. Luckily for them both, it wasn’t long before he pulled up beside her building.

Like the gentleman he always was, he helped her off the bike before they both quietly entered her apartment. The rush up the stairs was more tense and expectant than she anticipated, but when she pulled open her door, shouting to ensure Dahlia wasn’t hanging around her apartment somewhere, all bets were off.

The door closed, and the next thing Rowan knew, she was pushed up against it with Bucky’s lips ravishing hers. He had pulled off the glove on his left hand, allowing her to feel the cool metal of his vibranium arm as it cupped her cheek as he kissed her. Rowan dragged her nails against Bucky’s scalp, the feeling pushing a deep groan from his chest as he crowded her against the wood of the door. She kicked off her heels, feeling his hands travel down to her thighs where he picked her up, forcing her hands to wrap around his neck to balance herself. But his strength won out, and he carried her with superhuman ease across her apartment and back to her bedroom, the door slamming shut behind him as he kicked it with his foot.

When he set her back down, his hands cupped her cheeks before she felt one bump against her glasses, startling her from their intimate embrace. She couldn’t help but laugh with a shake of her head, Bucky doing the same as he pulled back to look at her fondly. “Now, Red, please believe me when I say I don’t want you to take your glasses off,” he began, sliding them from her face, “but, uh… I don’t want to break them either.”

When Bucky set her glasses in their case, thoughtfully and carefully, she pulled him back by his jacket, reconnecting their lips before working his jacket from his shoulders. She could feel his smile against her lips as he toed his shoes off, tossing his jacket somewhere in her room before wrapping her in his arms once again. His tongue licked at her lips and she met him with her own, the barrier of her glasses missing to allow her to tilt her head against his, deepening the kiss to something passionate, fiery, and wanting. Bucky’s hand fisted in her hair, causing a light gasp to leave her lips as her head tilted back. There was no pain in his action, but Rowan wouldn’t fight this dominance she was finally seeing from him as he gave her lips three more wild kisses before beginning to kiss from her cheek to her jaw, then down to her neck. The touch had her chest heaving in short breaths, holding tightly to his firm biceps as she moaned lightly into his ear.

She felt him lift her headband from her head, throwing it across the room and allowing her hair to fall in front of her face as he sucked harsh marks into the skin of her neck. Rowan, needing to feel Bucky against her skin, began frantically unbuttoning his dress shirt as he soothed yet another bite over with his tongue. With every bit of skin she revealed, she suddenly felt the need for more of him. As though he felt her thoughts, Bucky’s hands went down to her blouse, trying to hastily undo each little white button. When she heard his growl of disapproval and the grip he had on her blouse, she whispered in his ear, “Just rip it. I can buy another one.”

He wasted no time. Soon, those little white buttons were flying across the room, landing where Rowan would never find them again. Bucky pulled back enough to take in the sight of her half-bare torso, the plain tan bra she had on blocking his view. He brought his lips back down to her neck, beginning to trace kisses down her collarbone as she finally finished handling the buttons on his dress shirt. Instead of peeling it from his shoulders, her fingers ran along the bare expanse of his stomach, her touch causing his muscles to tense and allowing her to feel the hard planes of his abs and chest. It was when her fingers brushed against the sensitive scarred tissue around his metal arm that Bucky stopped, suddenly becoming timid with the kisses he laid on her neck as he trailed his way back up to look at her. Rowan ran her touch along the scars, pushing his shirt off his shoulders to see the rest of it.

He hadn’t lied when he said it was his entire arm. His shoulder and the top of his chest were covered in beautiful black and gold metal plating. As Bucky moved his arm, she could hear the shifting metal plates whirring to act as he wished. She felt the cool vibranium hand against her cheek, looking up to meet his gaze. He looked as though he were about to apologize for what she was seeing. Instead of allowing him to do that, she kissed his lips before journeying down his neck, his stubble brushing against her cheeks, and kissing along the rough scars. She felt his hand return to her hair, but this time he held it gently, as though to anchor himself instead. “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” she said, resting her cheek against his chest to look up at him. “You didn’t deserve this.”

She felt his lips against her forehead as her hands came up to wrap around his neck. Before she knew it, he was kissing her again with a fervor that nearly knocked her back down to the bed. She caught herself, sitting down and looking up at him. With her fingers hooked in his belt loops, she pulled him into her as he pushed the blouse from her shoulders, bringing her down to lay on the bed. Bucky followed her, his eyes roaming over her figure in utter awe as he kissed her neck and down to her chest. His hands held tightly to her skin before slipping back behind her and unclasping her bra with experienced precision. When he met Rowan’s eyes, he grinned before bringing his lips down to kiss her breasts, biting and licking each mound with desperate need. Rowan’s head fell back against the sheets, her hand grasping at his hair as he licked her nipple, sucking lightly before he bit down hard .

Bucky soothed the bite mark with his tongue before continuing the very same process down her stomach. When he paused, she looked down to see him tracing his fingers over one of the two tattoos that were etched into her skin. “What’s this?” he asked, reading her Lions, Not Sheep tattoo with interest.

“Oh,” she said, letting out a laugh. “That was a mistake eighteen-year-old me made when I was political and stupid and thought it was a great idea to have my affiliation tattooed on my hip.”

“You’re awakening a lot of things I never thought were sexy before, Red,” he said, biting his lip before he kissed right on her tattoo. When his eyes looked at the one on her rib, they once again turned soft. “And this one?”

She traced the three flowers that decorated her skin, Bucky’s hand lacing their fingers together as she did. “One flower for each of my family members that disappeared,” she said. “I told you, peonies were my favorite.”

“I’ll never forget that, Rowan,” he said. This time, the kiss he pressed lingered before kissing his way back down her stomach. When he reached the hem of her skirt, a grunt of annoyance left his lips, making her smile before he began to move his hands to her legs. The air became hotter and hotter as his hands teased their way up her legs before abruptly stopping. When Rowan opened her eyes again, Bucky was pushing back the fabric of her skirt, brows furrowed until he saw what lay beneath. His eyes darkened almost instantaneously before he licked his lips and asked, “Rowan… are you wearing garters?”

She merely shrugged, enjoying the way he was practically drooling over her legs. “Thought I might surprise you,” she said.

She didn’t expect him to climb back up and kiss her, already a wound-up mess before he said, “Do you know all the ways I can seduce a woman just by unclipping her garters?” Oh, she knew she was in trouble. Deep, deep trouble. His hand traced the skin above her light stockings, feeling the small metal clip that connected to her garter belt. “Because this will be something you and I will both thoroughly enjoy, doll.”

The first clip bounced away with a snap and a quick flick of his fingers, but those fingers began to trace up her leg until it reached the hem of her underwear. So close to where she was begging him to touch, but he wasn’t nearly close to being done. Rowan felt him bite her jaw as his touch, light as a feather, traced to the second garter clip. This one, he lingered around, pressing himself closer into her and pulling her leg up to better fit between them. Rowan could only grasp at his shoulders, sweat already beading on her skin like spring dew as pleasure and wild anticipation coursed through her veins until he unclasped the second clip. She tried to reach for his lips, to kiss him, to do something , but he merely laughed into her ear and bit her earlobe, his heavy breaths sending heat through her body like wildfire. Somehow, his touch became even lighter as he approached the third clasp. This time, he sucked her breast into his mouth as he snapped the clasp, causing her to cry out in pleasure and grip behind his firm back. 

He did the very same, torturously slow, procedure to her other leg, successfully getting Rowan heated and gasping for breath before he finally peeled down her stockings, laying kisses to her thighs down to her heels with each leg. Until he began to climb his way back up. Rowan watched with bated breath as Bucky kissed, licked, and bit the skin of her thighs, meeting her eyes every few moments as he grinned devilishly at her. His hands ran up and down, close to her hips over and over again. He reached back and unzipped her skirt, pulling it down before she could put a single word in. Her hands gripped the sheets, watching as he kissed up and around her underwear, just avoiding where she was becoming desperate to have him. Finally, he hooked his finger into the fabric and pulled both her panties and garter belt down until she was completely bare.

Bucky sat back, admiring every inch of her with a bite of his lip. Rowan, on the other hand, felt the sudden urge to cover herself. In the six years since she had sex with a man, she hadn’t exactly formed the best vision of her body in her mind. Her legs tried to close and she reached her hands up to cover her chest just as Bucky noticed the hesitation in her form. “Hey,” he said softly, reaching forward and taking her hand to stop her. He kissed her knuckles, smiling at her as he said, “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” She shook her head, trying to stop the smile from forming on her lips as she turned her head away. His finger came beneath her chin, tilting her back to face him. “I mean it, Rowan. I want to kiss every inch of you until you believe me.”

“Bucky,” she said, gently cupping his face. It was all she could say. He turned his head to kiss her palm before leaning back in to press his lips to hers. He kissed back down her body, kneeling on the ground as he pulled her by her legs to the edge of the bed. “Wait, are you going to-?”

“I’ve been dying to,” he answered. When he saw her hesitate, he said, “Has no one ever gone down on you before?” She shook her head, lips pursed as he tutted. “You’ve been dating the wrong men, Red,” he said, wrapping his hands around her thighs to prise them apart. 

“Trust me, I know,” she said as she smiled down at him. “But I think I found the right one.”

It was the last thing she could say before Bucky pressed a feather-light kiss to her clit. Rowan’s head fell back, a long sigh leaving her chest as he gently kissed through her sex. She felt the grip he had on her thigh tightening, and soon those light kisses turned into fervent ravishing. Her hand flew down to his hair to find something to hold onto as he licked from her slit back up to her clit, sucking harshing on her bundle of nerves until she was arching up from the bed, her voice sending out moans through the room that any nearby tenants would be able to hear. As she bit her fist to try and quiet herself, Bucky freed one of his hands to take it from her, lacing their fingers together and settling it on her chest to hear her scream for him. The stubble on his cheeks dug into her thighs, but the pain was overwhelmed by the pleasure as his tongue slipped inside her.

Her eyes snapped open, a long gasp following as Rowan struggled to keep whatever composure she had left. Heat rolled over her body over and over again with every pass Bucky took with his tongue. She hadn’t understood why so many books she had read talked about the man going down on his woman, but now she got it. Now she felt that same passion and crackling fireworks that every book she ever read described. When Bucky let go of her hand to flick his thumb against her clit, she felt the pressure building in her belly coming to a culmination. She chanted his name, ‘Bucky’ falling from her lips with each wave of ecstasy until finally, she fell over the edge.

A moan left her lips as she came on his mouth, feeling Bucky’s arms holding her down as she squirmed on the bed. He didn’t stop, prolonging her pleasure for as long as he could until she was heaving and gasping to take a single breath. Bucky’s attack on her became softer and softer until he pressed one final kiss to her clit and wiped his mouth, looking up to see her wrecked eyes meeting his. “Don’t pass out on me yet,” he said, a light chuckle leaving his chest as he crawled back up onto the bed, pressing his lips to hers.

“Holy shit, Bucky,” she managed to say between their locked lips. She wrapped her legs around his waist, letting out a malcontented groan as she felt he still had his jeans on over his straining cock. “I want these off.”

As she shifted back to the pillows, she watched expectantly as Bucky slowly unbuckled his belt. Painfully slow. When she raised her brow and crossed her arms, he said, “I’d like to take my time with you.”

“Well, if you take any longer getting those pants off, you can have fun taking your sweet time with yourself,” she said.

“Someone’s impatient,” he said, leaning down once his jeans were unzipped.

“You have no idea–” she gripped the back of his head, “–Sergeant.”

Rowan felt him roll his hips into hers, a low moan leaving his chest before he sat up and chucked off his socks and jeans, leaving him in his briefs. She sat up to connect their lips once more, still feeling the lingering heat of her first orgasm as she brought him back down to hover over her. Their tongues slipped between them, minutes passing of just their embrace before Rowan became impatient, her heels digging into his back and pulling him closer between her legs. It wasn’t long before his briefs joined the piles of clothes scattered around the room and he settled down between her legs. Rowan raked her eyes over the whole of his naked body, feeling her mouth water at the sight of him hovering over her.

“Condom?” he asked, kissing her jawline. She was just barely able to reach her nightstand and open the drawer, sifting around for a second before pulling out the protection. Rowan was tempted to rip it open with her teeth, but she couldn’t stand another second of foreplay. When Bucky slid it on, he lined himself up with her entrance, looking at her one last time for her consent. When she nodded, he slipped his tip inside, stretching her open.

Rowan squeezed her eyes shut, her head falling back against the pillows as he pushed his cock inside her. It had been so long, she could have sworn he was brushing away cobwebs with every inch that passed inside her. He stopped halfway, his own eyes drunk on her as he clenched his jaw to keep from fucking her into the mattress. “You okay?” he said into her ear, pressing a kiss behind it. 

“Yeah, yeah,” she managed to say through heavy breaths. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, lifting her leg on his waist. His grip tightened on her as she said, “Move.”

Bucky started slow, pulling out just enough for her to feel it before he pushed back in. He never went all the way, not yet, but it was enough to knock the very breath from her lungs as she clung to Bucky’s body. With every thrust, the pain of his intrusion turned to stifling hot pleasure until he was fully seated inside her. She spread her legs wider to accommodate him, but nothing could prepare her for the force of his thrust once she whispered, “Faster.”

Bucky lifted her leg higher, slipping it beneath the crook of his elbow to hit deep inside her. His grunts and moans echoed in her ear as he struggled to keep himself up on his vibranium arm. His lips trailed from hers to her cheek before he began pressing open-mouthed kisses to her neck, leaving more hickeys and bite marks along the base of her throat. Rowan’s body felt hot, pressed against him as she took every single one of his thrusts with a moan of her own. With her fingers in his hair and scratching down his back, she clung to whatever part of him she could as his cock dragged in and out of her cunt, but it was just the beginning. Rowan began to meet his thrust with her hips, his pelvis catching against her clit with every stroke.

She felt the hand on her thigh tightening hard enough to leave bruises, the pain a thought in the back of her mind as Bucky pushed her legs apart wider. His expression was screwed in deep concentration and painful pleasure, one she watched falter as he pounded into her. His blue eyes were no more than slivers, his pupils dilated so far they almost looked black. His chest was sticky with sweat as he pressed it against hers, her breasts pushed against the hard planes of his body as his vibranium arm wrapped underneath her hips, lifting her as his other hand steadied him. The change made her shout, attempting to bury her face into her pillow to muffle her screams of pleasure. But he wouldn’t have it. He would hear her. So, moving his vibranium arm to hold onto the small wooden headboard, his other hand came up to tilt her head back to him. She couldn’t keep herself quiet anymore. Not when his hips started rolling into hers.

Flashes of white-hot pulses echoed through her body when Bucky laid his hand on her neck. When he tried to pull his hand away, she reached up and held it there, curling his fingers into the skin of her throat and tightening his grip. Once she knew he would leave it, hers traveled to his back, her nails leaving long marks of red scratches that she would revel in knowing he wore beneath his thick black jacket. She felt her headboard creak, hitting the wall as Bucky’s pace became intently hard. Still rolling his cock inside her with deliberate strokes, Rowan’s climax began climbing faster and faster, the coil tightening within her. She heard her headboard creak again, but this time she swore she heard the sound of something cracking, but the wave after wave of pure pleasure that struck her when Bucky tightened his grip on her neck distracted her from the sound.

Rowan came again, her second orgasm hitting her like a tsunami. Heat boiled beneath her skin as fire flowed through her veins and the world went white. A loud moan choked in her throat against Bucky’s hold as she reached her peak, slowly coming down as he began pounding into her with reckless abandon. Bucky bit into her neck, a moan leaving his chest with a deep and hearty groan and he stilled inside her when the cracking of her headboard returned. This time, Bucky nearly fell on her as a piece of her headboard came loose, his vibranium hand clutching the broken wood as he came down from his high. Rowan gaped, both of them only able to look at the piece of her headboard in his hand as splinters fell onto her sheets. 

“Aw… my headboard,” she said, looking up at the missing chunk in her bed. 

Bucky threw the piece from his hand. She heard it landing somewhere in her bedroom as he kissed her and said, “I’ll fix it myself.”

“Don’t,” she said between breathless kisses. “I’ll just sand it over. Gives it character.”

Bucky chuckled into her mouth, his arms wrapping around her body. With a grunt, he pulled out of her, standing to throw the condom away in her little trash. Rowan took her glasses from her stand so she could watch him, admiring his strong glutes before standing with him. When he noticed her, he said, “Get back in bed. I’ll take care of the wood on your bed.”

“I’ve gotta use the bathroom, Buck. Move,” she said, lightly slapping his arm. He held up his hands, gesturing towards the closed door to allow her to move.

Once she had finished her business, she returned to the bedroom to see Bucky picking out the little splinters. She joined him on the bed once he was finished and removed her glasses, the bed clear of any residual splinters. Rowan slid in underneath his arm as he pulled her tightly against him, kissing the top of her head as her fingers gently played with his dog tags. There were a few minutes of silent bliss between them, basking in the afterglow of their sex. Rowan hadn’t had something so good in her entire life. The feeling of Bucky against her skin was imprinted on her like her tattoos. She could never forget it. She would never want to forget it. 

“Hey, uh,” he said, breaking the silence, “I probably shouldn’t stay the night.”

She looked up at him, her brows furrowed. “What? Why?” Did he not want to stay with her? Was she not good for him? Did he realize he didn’t want a relationship with her?

“I can hear the gears turning in your head,” he said, his hand running against her hair. “It’s just that I have nightmares sometimes. Bad ones. Memories of my time as the Winter Soldier often come back to me when I’m asleep and I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

“Bucky, I don’t want you to leave because of that,” she said as she twisted to cup his cheek in her hand.

“Trust me, Red, the last thing I wanna do is leave you, now of all times, but I just don’t want to risk it,” he said. He took her hand and held it against his chest. “In case you haven’t noticed, you’re kinda precious to me.”

“I’ll protect you from these memories,” she said, leaning in to press his forehead to his. “I don’t want to leave you alone to deal with them. Stay tonight. We can watch over each other. Okay?”

Bucky could only gulp down the thickness in his throat before he nodded. Rowan smiled down at him, kissing his lips a few times before settling back down onto his chest. Exhaustion hit her as she closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his heartbeat beneath her cheek as it slowly lulled her to sleep.

Chapter Text

With a deep sigh, Bucky blinked his eyes open, easing himself from sleep. A weight pressed into his chest, legs tangled with his beneath the covers of Rowan’s deep blue sheets. The sun was just barely beginning to peek through the blinds on her window as Bucky turned his gaze from the sun to the woman wrapped in his embrace. He felt a smile lift onto his face as his eyes trailed over her, tightly coiled against him. Her eyes were shut, moving beneath her lids as she dreamed while her mussed hair fell over her face. The bright red of her hair mixed with the warm light of the sun, glinting in his eyes. He watched her chest rise and fall, marks he had left behind the night before lingering on her soft, pale skin. His hand brushed her hair aside, catching her face in serene sleep before noticing the dark hickeys that formed on her neck through the night. 

Would it be crude of him to say pride had entered his chest at seeing those marks he left? Still, even as she slipped closer to him in the midst of her sleep, Bucky could say he thought she had never looked more beautiful than wrapped bare in his embrace, sporting the evidence of their intimacy. She had been more than eager to leave marks of her own on him, he could feel the sore tingling on his neck just as he thought about it. He pulled her closer, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo and burying his face back into her neck. He didn’t want this moment to end, ever. Rowan was so perfect, too perfect, especially for someone like him. But she had chosen him. Out of everyone in the world, she had picked him—the man who, on his worst days, couldn’t even remember his own name. That alone made his hold on her tighter, pressing kisses to her shoulder. She may not have been awake, but he still wanted her to know just how deeply he appreciated her.

He couldn’t put into words how incredible their night together had been. Coney Island had shown him a whole new side of Rowan, and himself, that he hadn’t known existed. When she bared herself for him, all for him, he gladly drowned in her loving arms. All he could see was her. He ran his hand up and down the smooth skin of her arm, his sensitive fingertips feeling the goosebumps that arose as he touched her. He was tempted, so tempted, to wake her up if only to bury himself between her thighs all over again. But the peace of her sleep was too beautiful to interrupt. It wasn’t until he felt her arms tightening around him that he opened his eyes again to find her brown ones staring back.

“Mornin’, Red,” he said. He gently cupped her cheek, thumb brushing against the pink skin as she blushed. Bucky loved it when she blushed.

“Good morning,” she said, stretching her legs out, still tangled in his beneath the covers. “How’d you sleep? Any nightmares?”

Shaking his head, he said, “Not one.”

“Well,” she said with a cheeky smile, “I promised I would protect you from them, didn’t I?”

“That you did,” he said, leaning in to kiss her. His arms went beneath her body as he slowly pushed himself above her, keeping their lips sewn together as he felt her wrap around his neck. “Think I’m gonna keep ya.” His old accent slipped out with his tired voice. He swore he felt her shiver at it.

“Please do, Sergeant Barnes,” she said, smiling against his lips. Bucky let out a groan, tilting to kiss her deeper. He couldn’t help it whenever she called him ‘Sarge’. Something within him ignited every time. He kissed down her jaw and neck, pressing light kisses over the marks there as she reached for her phone to check the time. “I’ve got an hour before my alarm goes off.”

“I can get a lot done in an hour,” he said. He didn’t stop the ravishing of her skin, kissing down her neck and collarbone. He looked up to see her lay her head back, eyes closed in contentment as he gently kissed her. 

“I’m sure you can,” she said as she ran her hands through his hair. “I should just skip today. I’ve got good enough grades and I do not want to leave this bed.”

“As much as I’d like to keep you here all to myself,” he said, kissing her hip bone, “you need to go to college. I don’t want your grade dropping on my account.”

“I don’t care,” she said. “My professor can suck it.”

“You want your master’s, don’t you?”

Rowan went silent for a moment before she groaned in displeasure and said, “Damn you, Barnes, for being so responsible.”

“One of us has to be.” Bucky pressed one last kiss to her stomach before looking down at her thighs and hips. The deep imprints of his hands that had gripped her so hard were turning purple. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked. 

Surprisingly, she laughed. “Trust me, you didn’t hurt me.” Rowan pulled him up by his chin, pressing chaste kisses to his lips as she said, “Besides, they’ll just remind me of you all day.”

“Don’t tell me that,” he said with a wanton groan, his hands sliding down to hold her right over those bruises. “I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.”

“Like I said, you’ve got an hour before I absolutely have to get up,” she said. He felt her squirm beneath his touch, his fingers delicately inching closer and closer to the apex of her legs. Rowan sucked in a breath and Bucky grinned at her reaction. God, he could watch her at his mercy for the rest of his life. “Although, I would like to take a shower sometime.”

“Why didn’t you say that before?” he asked, relinquishing his hands from her. He felt her wide eyes watching him as he stood from the bed, walking to her bathroom before leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed as he waited for her. “Come on, Red. You said you needed a shower.”

“And you’re going to-”

“Well, I’m not gonna sit out here keeping myself company.”

She stood from the bed, beautiful and naked all for him, as she leaned against his chest. His arms went around her waist as she said, “Then get in there, Sarge.”

Bucky followed her with his arms around her torso and a smile he couldn’t seem to wipe from his face as she started the shower. The sight of her dripping wet underneath the spray of the water sent tingles down his spine as his hands roamed along her skin. She kept to her word and tried to wash herself off, and as much as Bucky tried to help by lathering her in soap, all he wanted to do was push her against the tile and fuck her into the wall. His self-control was waning with each second that passed, especially with the overwhelming scent of her shampoo and body wash stifling every last sense he had. He spread soap over her stomach and chest, giving her breasts a little more love than needed before he washed his hands free of soap and brought his hand down between her legs.

His fingers teased her clit, rubbing as he pressed her back against the tiles, kissing her gently. He reveled in the little sighs that began to leave her lips and the way her fingers dug into his arms, tightening her hold as he slipped one inside her. She was so warm, so wet for him . Bucky hadn’t felt so drunk on a woman in such a long time he had almost forgotten what it felt like, how enjoyable it could be, to pleasure a girl. Her head went to his neck, little whimpers leaving her lips as he added another finger, slipping them in and out of her as his thumb traced her clit. His vibranium arm held behind her neck, gently grasping her hair as she began to buck her hips against his hand, chasing the pleasure he was so willingly offering her. 

“That’s it, Red,” he whispered, kissing behind her ear as her moans became louder. “Let go. For me, all for me.”

Just like that, she keened with a gasp as her cheeks flushed. He felt her tighten around his fingers, continuing to thrust them in and out of her to ride her through her light orgasm. Her chest heaved as she caught her breath, the nails that dug into his arm lightening their abuse against his skin. When he removed his fingers, Rowan stood on her toes to kiss him deeply. Her wet hair was tangling in his fingers. 

“We should probably get out before I waste all my hot water,” she said between breathless kisses.

Bucky nearly whined, but said, “I’ll pay for it.”

She rolled her eyes and laughed. “You’re not paying for my water just so we can have shower sex,” she said. He gave her his best begging eyes, but she simply shut off the water and left him alone in the cold shower. “Are you going to stand there all day waiting?” she asked as she dried herself with a fluffy towel. 

Bucky grabbed one for himself, kissing the crown of her head as he said, “You get ready. I’ll make us some breakfast.”

She smiled up at him as she said, “Christ, Barnes, you really are a dreamboat.”

With the towel around his waist, he shrugged and said, “I try my best for you, Red.”

He left her in the bathroom and pulled on his briefs, drying himself before returning to her living room. He took his time to examine all the little bits and bobs she had decorated her home, glancing through all the books on the bookshelf. Jurassic Park, Bridgerton, Eragon, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Animal Farm, Percy Jackson, A Game of Thrones , if only to name a few of the titles he could find. He had only heard of three of those titles, only because Rowan had told him of Jurassic Park before. And as hard as he was trying to pick himself back up with modern pop culture, he knew there was still so much he had yet to read. He was delighted to find a small copy of The Hobbit , picking it up from the shelf and flipping through a few pages as he remembered reading the book all the way back in 1937. He remembered how he scoured for the title, saving up to read the little novel when he finally found it.

He returned to the kitchen, scouring through her cabinets before he found what he needed and put a frying pan on the stove. Bucky heard the sound of a hair dryer blowing from the bathroom, smiling gently to himself as he poured the batter onto the frying pan. When Rowan came back out, her hair was dry, but she only wore a bra and panties. He felt his mouth water at the sight. How badly he wanted to rip off her clothes and fuck her against the countertop in nothing but her glasses. 

“Your pancakes are burning,” she said as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“Shit,” he said, quickly taking the ruined pancake from the pan. He laughed to himself, shaking his head as he said, “You can’t walk in here like that, distracting me from making you a nice breakfast.”

“You’re one to talk,” she said before he felt her smack his ass. He turned with raised brows, seeing the smile on her face as she ate a strawberry. “Making breakfast in nothing but your briefs? What else is a girl supposed to do?”

“You’re very close to not having any breakfast at all,” he said, his eyes raking up and down her body. God, she was perfect. All he wanted to do was be trapped between her thick thighs for the rest of his life. 

“Hey, focus,” she said, pushing his chin back down to focus on his frying pan. “I don’t think either of us can afford to go without breakfast after last night.”

“Well, I’d have breakfast either way,” he said, biting his lip before he felt her gently hit his arm. “I’m just sayin’-”

“If you’re that desperate-”

“No, I’m making you breakfast, Rowan. Now sit down,” he said, gesturing to the island seats. “Quit distracting me.”

Soon, he had a full stack of pancakes for both of them. He stood across from her on the island countertop, the both of them watching one another eat. Bucky watched as Rowan got syrup on her finger and licked it off, his eyes trailed her lips as she did. He could feel himself grow hard and coughed before looking back down at his pancakes to distract himself. But he swore he saw her smirk when he did. 

He took her dishes and cleaned them as she finished dressing for her day. She looked good in anything, but he stopped dead when she walked out in a tight black shirt that brought out the red in her hair and blue jeans. As always, her hair was held back by her black headband. Bucky couldn’t help but stop and admire her, which she quickly noticed when she cast her eyes to him. “What?” she asked, a bashful smile lifting onto her lips.

Instead of speaking, he crossed to her and kissed her sweetly. He couldn’t believe he could kiss her whenever the hell he wanted now. “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

“God, you’re such a mush,” she said, shaking her head. “What would the world say if they knew the big, bad Bucky Barnes was such a softie?”

“That’s our secret,” he said. His nose brushed against hers before he kissed her one last time. “Let me get dressed. I’ll walk you down to the subway.”

“You don’t have to do that, Bucky. I’m sure Alpine misses you,” she said, but he was already throwing on his discarded shirt from the night before, trying to smooth out some of the wrinkles.

“She’ll be fine,” he said, walking back out as he threw on his jacket. “As long as I get back before she starts tearing up my couch.”

“I hope I can meet her one day,” Rowan said as Bucky sat down on the couch, pulling on his shoes. He felt her hands run through his hair. “I hope she likes me.”

“Trust me, as long as you don’t rub her belly, she’ll love you,” he said, pulling her in by her belt loops. Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck as he looked up at her. “She loves Sam and I don’t understand that. I don’t see a reason she won’t adore you too.”

“Apart from the fact that I’m stealing her father away from her,” she said as she leaned down to kiss him. 

“Her father doesn’t mind it in the slightest,” he said breathlessly. The way this woman could simply steal the breath from his lungs…

Rowan stood abruptly, grabbing her school bag as she said, “Okay, I really need to leave now.”

“Don’t forget your laptop,” he said as he took it from the charger beside him, handing it over to her.

With a sigh of relief, she said, “It’s a miracle if I ever remember it. Thanks.” She stuffed it in her bag, but he took it from her and slung it over his shoulder before she could protest. “Bucky, I can carry my bag.”

“But you don’t have to,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I’m your pack mule, remember?”

“How could I forget,” she said. 

They traveled down the stairs, Rowan catching the eyes of a few of her neighbors with Bucky beside her as she gave them a small nod of acknowledgement. Of course, it was becoming harder and harder for Bucky to go unnoticed. More people recognized him on the street every day, especially after the whole ordeal with the Flag Smashers. But now, he found he didn’t mind it. Not with Rowan beside him. Not when she was there to take his hand and hold him close, to kiss him and tell him she would be there for him. 

Their walk to the subway was over far too quickly, and soon, he handed her back her school bag and said, “I’ll see you at the Vixen later today.”

“Promise?” she asked.

“Promise.”

“Good.” She leaned up and pressed a few kisses to his lips while he tried his best to ignore the lingering glances their way. It was like he could feel every eye on him and Rowan as they kissed, but she gently put her hand to his cheek, pulling him from his thoughts. The train approached with a screech, coming to a stop as she said, “I’ve gotta go.”

He didn’t want to let go. “Alright. I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said between kisses.

With a smile, she said, “Bucky, I’ve really gotta go.” Even as she said it, she made no intention to pull away from his embrace.

“I know,” he said smugly. “Just holding you here while I can.”

With one last chaste kiss, she pulled away and said, “Okay, goodbye, Buck.”

“Bye, Red,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he watched her step on the train. He waited until the doors closed and he couldn’t see her anymore before he turned and left the subway station. An unquenchable smile stretched across his face through his entire walk back to his apartment. There was Alpine, mewing indignantly, practically screaming, as soon as he opened the door. “I know, I know, malyshka . I’m a horrible father,” he said as he picked her up. She nuzzled her white head into his chin as he prepared her breakfast. 

Once noon hit, he was on his way to Dr. Raynor’s office. As soon as he walked in, he could see the way she analyzed his every movement, especially the way he tried his best to keep a smile from his face. As soon as he sat down, she started with the regular ‘how are you’s and all the other bullshit they both suffered through before she set her notepad aside and folded her hands. “You seem happy today, James,” she said.

“All I can say is… I am,” he said, avoiding her eyes. It had been a long time since he could truly say he was happy. 

“Things with that bartender going well, I hope,” she asked. “You finally asked her out?”

“I did,” he said with a short nod. 

“I don’t need the details of your night out,” Dr. Raynor said, “but just the fact that you’ve gotten to this point in your relationship with her shines a light on you, James. I wouldn’t screw it up if I were you.”

“What? You think I’m gonna screw it up?” he asked. His voice let slip the anger in his tone, but not the fear of what she had said.

“I don’t think you’re going to. I just want you to remind yourself not to,” Dr. Raynor said. “You were self-destructing before you met her. Don’t go back there, not when you’ve finally got a reason not to.”

“The last thing I want to do is hurt her,” he said, his hands clenching in his lap. “Is this standard procedure for a shrink, Doc? Telling me not to screw up my relationship?”

“I’m only telling you what you already know,” Dr. Raynor said. “But you’ve come a long way since then if you’re so scared of hurting her.”

“That’s supposed to be a good sign, then?” Bucky asked with a raised brow.

“It is,” she said. “If you choose to see it that way.”

“Doc, I know what I am. I know I’ll always have this fear that I’ll ruin the best things in my life just by being there,” he said, a deep sigh leaving his chest. “But with her… I can’t afford to let myself ruin it.”

Dr. Raynor hummed and nodded. “I hope I can meet this girl someday.” Bucky didn’t respond, simply letting himself sit back as he fought through the fears Dr. Raynor brought to the front of his mind. He wouldn’t let them control him. He couldn’t. She might have been an asshole, but Dr. Raynor was right. Wasn’t she always?

#

Rowan did her best to ensure her hair covered her neck most of the day. The marks Bucky had left behind had been difficult to hide behind makeup, but she did her best to manage it. That being said, she didn’t necessarily want to cover up the marks. The thought of Bucky’s lips marking her the way he did, the dominance he showed, brought her back to their night and the unburdened feelings she had let fly. She liked being with him, feeling the evidence of his desire for her lingering on her skin. But, alas, her professional background wouldn’t necessarily allow for such blatant reveals of her nightly activities. She was certain her professors wouldn’t get a kick out of it.

She ate her quick lunch after her classes, doing what homework she could as she ate before packing up and heading back to her street. The Velvet Vixen lay open and inside she could see Dahlia already preparing a few customers’ tables. She walked in, but as soon as Dahlia cast her eyes her way, she abandoned her job and ran to Rowan’s side, pulling her to the backroom with a wide smile. “Sooo you didn’t call me last night or this morning,” Dahlia pointed out as Rowan set her school bag down. “How was your date?”

“It was wonderful, Lia,” Rowan said with a wide smile. “Bucky was so sweet and such a gentleman. He took me to Coney Island!” Dahlia crossed her arms and nodded along. “God, I didn’t think men like him existed anymore.”

“Well, they technically don’t,” Dahlia said. Shaking her head, she grabbed Rowan’s arms and said, “Okay, enough about the actual date. I need to hear about how good this man is in bed!”

“Dahlia, keep your voice down!” Rowan said as she covered her friend’s wild mouth. 

“Oh, please! Your neck is covered in hickeys, Ro’!” she said. Rowan covered her neck sheepishly until Dahlia said, “I’m kidding. Your makeup covered it very well but now you’ve just proved to me that you did have-”

“Dahlia!”

“Tell me please ,” she said as she took Rowan’s hands. “You had not gotten laid in six years until last night. I must hear every little disgusting detail. But first… did he like the garters?”

Rowan bit her lip, the smug smile forcing its way onto her face as she said, “Oh, he liked them a lot.”

“And this is why you come to me for help,” Dahlia said. Rowan rolled her eyes, her friend’s superiority complex running off the rails. “And please tell me he ate you out.”

“Jesus Christ,” Rowan said, covering her red face. Dahlia’s loud cackle interrupted her embarrassment as she said, “If I tell you everything, you have to promise to keep yourself under control at least until we get out of work. I don’t need the customers to know every little detail about my love life.”

Dahlia took Rowan by the shoulders. “Give me everything .”

And she did. One of Rowan’s favorite things about being a woman was the connection she had with her best friends and their ability to tell one another anything and everything. At least in a somewhat tasteful manner, if she could try. She told Dahlia about the night she spent with Bucky, and when she told her about her headboard breaking under the strength of his metal arm, she swore Dahlia popped a blood vessel trying to keep herself quiet. “He made me pancakes this morning and I swear, Lia, I have never fallen so hard for a man as I did when I walked out to see him flipping those cakes in nothing but his briefs,” she said, a dreamy sigh leaving her chest.

“Look at you!” Dahlia said, cupping her own cheeks. “You’re so happy!”

“I am. By God, I really am,” she said, allowing her joy to show on her face. “I have a real, genuine boyfriend now. Not the store-bought electric kind.”

“Well… I do have to wonder what that metal arm could do,” Dahlia said, tapping her chin in faux thought. 

“You are disgusting,” Rowan said with a laugh as she pushed Dahlia away. Although she couldn’t lie to herself and say she hadn’t had similar thoughts of her own the night before. Even so, she would have as long as she wanted with Bucky to explore that particular area of their relationship. “Now let’s go and do our jobs. I’ve indulged your gutter mind long enough.”

“Hey, I’m just being a good friend and demanding to know about your love life because I care so much about you,” Dahlia said as she wrapped her arms around Rowan from behind. “And I’m happy now that you’re happy.” The genuine joy in her voice made Rowan smile.

She returned to her position behind the bar, her smile lifting the spirits of all her customers as she served them with a joyous atmosphere. The warm weather was bringing more tourists who dropped by in hopes of getting drunk before five o’clock even hit, but that day, she was more than happy to accommodate their desires. It was so odd to think that her cocktail night with Bucky had been just two days before. Just two days before she had been pining over him, believing he was too damn stubborn to see just how much she liked him and that she was too damn stubborn to think she could ever be happy again. But that morning and the night before had only proved her wrong. Rowan had never been so happy to be wrong in her entire life.

When the doorbell jingled, she looked up in anticipation. Finally, she caught Bucky’s blue eyes as he walked in. She couldn’t help it when she stopped what she was doing just to rush around the side of the bar and greet him with a kiss, one he reciprocated in kind. And as much as she wanted to pull him by his collar to the bar and have her way with him, she instead looked up with a bright smile and said, “Hi there.”

“Missed you today, Red,” he said. His hand ran up and down her back.

She rolled her eyes gently and ushered him to his usual seat. “I saw you a few hours ago, Bucky.”

“A few hours too long,” he said as he leaned against the bar. She could see from the glint in his eye he was jesting. “You make it to class?”

“Just in time,” she said as she grabbed his beer, grinning slyly at him. “No thanks to you.”

“Hey, I walked you to the subway!”

“And almost kept me from even getting on the train.”

“You were more than glad to miss it, from what I recall.”

She set his drink in front of him with narrowed eyes, meeting his flirtatious gaze. “You’ve gotten bolder.”

He shrugged and said, “That tends to happen when you sleep with someone, Red.” He, at least, had the courtesy to say it quietly. Unlike someone she knew who was watching their entire interaction from across the restaurant. “Speaking of… I was wondering when you next had off?”

“Trying to ask me out again, Sarge?” she asked as she tossed the towel over her shoulder.

Bucky gave a bashful smile, looking down at the bar. He could be so adorable when he got flustered, Rowan couldn’t help but admire it. “What did I tell you about calling me ‘Sarge’?”

“Don’t worry. I’m prepared to pay for it later,” she said with a wink. He flushed a deeper shade of red. Oh, she liked this game too much. “Anyway, to answer your question, I have Saturday night off. Theo got sick and can’t come in the rest of the week, so it’s up to me to keep the peace.”

“I’ve got to wait until Saturday to have you all to myself?” he asked, tutting lightly. 

“You know you can come and visit on days other than Wednesday,” she said.

“Trust me, I will be,” Bucky said as he took her hand. “By the time I finally asked you out I was struggling to wait a whole week to see you.”

“You could have come earlier under the guise of wanting a drink,” she said with a puckered lip. His eyes glanced between her eyes and lip, biting his own before he inhaled sharply to speak. She liked this look for him, desperate and desirous.

“I couldn’t afford all those drinks, doll. And I didn’t want to look creepy,” he said with a little wince. 

“Believe me when I say I wouldn’t have thought it creepy if you popped in a few more times a week,” she said. He nodded in affirmation. “Do you have any streaming services at your apartment?”

“Those are where you can watch shows and movies, right?” he asked. When she nodded, he said, “Yeah, Sam made sure I had them. Said I had to keep up with the times.”

She laughed at his eye roll. “He’s not wrong, because I was hoping I could show you a few movies you’ve missed out on. Maybe we could order in on Saturday night, and I take you through Jurassic Park?”

“Is that all we’ll be doing?” he asked, licking his bottom lip.

She pretended not to notice as she said, “Well, there are three of the original Jurassic Parks and I wanted to show you The Princess Bride, but we’d be up all night-” Her jest did not go the way she thought it would, for instead of huffing in frustration, Bucky simply sat with soft eyes and watched as she rambled. When she stopped, she furrowed her brows and said, “What?”

“You’re cute when you get excited,” he said, sipping his beer.

Somehow, that riled her up more than the sight of him staring unabashedly at her. She felt her face turn bright red, puffing her cheeks in mock irritation as she said, “Fuck you, Barnes.”

“You already have.”

“That’s it, no more beer for you,” she said, trying to keep the smile from her face as he laughed.

“Okay, okay, I’ll behave,” he said. When she raised a brow in challenge, he put his hand over his chest and said, “Cross my heart.”

Rowan set his drink back down before leaning over the bar to give him a quick kiss. When she pulled away, she pursed her lips and said, “That wasn’t exactly professional but I don’t care.”

“We’ll have all the time in the world to not be professional,” he said. “And spending my Saturday watchin’ movies with you sounds amazing, doll.”

Just as Rowan was about to answer, she felt a lingering presence behind her and sighed. Bucky’s look of pure amusement only told her she was right in assuming Dahlia was watching them with heart eyes. “Hi, Bucky. Don’t mind me,” she said, waving over Rowan’s shoulder. “Just documenting my best friend’s entire relationship.”

“What?!” Rowan said as she whipped around to find Dahlia’s phone in her face. She shook her head and crossed her arms as she tried to keep the smile from her face. “You’re a child, Lia.”

“Maybe, but neither of us have any other friends, so this is what you get,” she said, looking over her phone. “Bucky doesn’t mind! Do you, Bucky?”

“Make sure you get my good side,” he said, his hand running over his stubble.

“Bitch, you don’t even have a bad side,” Dahlia said. The statement made him blush yet again as he looked to Rowan for help. 

“Don’t you have to work?” Rowan asked as she returned to her job. Or tried to, at least. The smug grin Mrs. Lindon was giving her made it almost impossible to concentrate. 

“Nope, I’m on break,” Dahlia said, quickly hiding her phone once her stepfather passed by. He gave Bucky a quick wave, then Rowan and Dahlia a smile and a nod, and headed back into his office. As soon as he was gone, she lifted her phone yet again.

“What are you? Fifteen?” Rowan said. 

“This is for your future grandbabies, Ro’,” Dahlia argued, speaking softly so Bucky wouldn’t hear her. Although, from the way his smile turned up and he shifted in his seat, Rowan wasn’t sure she was talking quietly enough.

“You are way ahead of either of us, Dahlia,” Rowan said, gently pushing her away from the bar. “We’ve only been on one date-”

“So far.”

“So far, yes. But still.”

“Please, I’ve watched you pine after one another for months,” she said. “It drove me absolutely crazy and now that you’re finally together I’m going to milk this cow as much as I can because you, my friend, have never looked happier.”

“Go back to work,” Rowan said with a good-natured smile. “Document what you want, just don’t shove your phone in my face. You scared the crap out of me.”

“Yeah, but then I look like a creepy stalker and then I look weird,” Dahlia said, stuffing her phone in her back pocket. “Okay, fine, I’ll stop being the reason your boyfriend looks like he wants to sink into a hole and never come out.”

Rowan let out a long breath as Dahlia went into the back storeroom. Returning to Bucky’s side, she said, “Sorry about her. Again.”

“Grandbabies?” he asked with a cheeky grin. So, he could hear her.

“I’m just going to pretend she never said that,” she said with a wince. “A little early to be talking about that .”

“We’ll put a pin in it,” he said, nodding along with her. Christ, he was handsome.

When Bucky finished his beer, the restaurant was starting to pick up pace with customers, forcing Rowan away from his attention for longer than she cared to be. When he caught her eye, he nodded to let her know it was time for him to go as he dropped his cash on the bar. When she picked it up, she saw the tip and said, “Bucky, I don’t know if I can accept your tips anymore.”

“No, Rowan, don’t start going there,” he said, pushing the cash back into her hand. “I’m not tipping you because you’re my girlfriend. I’m tipping you because you’ve always given great service, alright?”

“If you were tipping me because I’m your girlfriend, this relationship would border on prostitution,” she said, hesitantly taking the cash. “But I still don’t know-”

“Rowan,” he said, capturing her eyes. “You’re a great bartender. That’s the only reason I’m tipping you.”

“Not for the great sex?” she asked in a low voice.

“Do you want me to start tipping you for the sex?” he asked. He smiled despite himself, neither of them able to keep straight faces.

She pretended to think it over, and when Bucky’s brows raised at her silence, she shook her head and said, “I think the sex itself is good enough.”

He laughed and said, “You’re dangerous.”

“You still want me, though.”

“Yeah, I do.” This smooth-talking, son of a- “Text me when you get off work. I want to walk you home.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she said.

He gave a small shrug. “I know. I want to.”

Rowan felt her heart warm at his smile. “Alright. I’ll see you at eleven.”

As much as she wanted to reach over the bar again and press a lasting kiss to his lips, there were just too many patrons around her. Instead, Bucky took her hand and kissed her knuckles as he said, “Until then.”

Just like he said, as soon as her shift was over, he was waiting for her outside the bar, taking her hand in his to walk her home. Rowan couldn’t help but look up at him, admiring him in the moonlight and the lights of the street as he spoke. When he caught her gaze, his grin only intensified and he wrapped his arm over her shoulders, pulling her into his side to allow her head to rest on his shoulder. She had never felt so much connection to someone so quickly in her entire life. Talking with Bucky, being with him, it was effortless. He gave comfort just by touching her, holding her, hell, even looking at her. His bashful smile lit up something inside her that she just couldn’t quench and she loved watching him try to regain his composure when she complimented him. It wasn’t sexual in nature, but Bucky would turn into a stuttering, blushing mess whenever she said something remotely soft.

But that didn’t mean she didn’t like it when his eyes turned dark as they approached her apartment building.

Before she knew what was happening, Rowan was pressed up against the brick wall of her building, Bucky’s lips pressed over hers. Her entire body felt hot as his hands trailed over her ass, pulling her into his body. “I know we should–” he interrupted her with a kiss, “–probably try to take things a little–” another kiss, “–slower, but I’m going to drag you up–” and another, “–to my apartment if we don’t stop.”

She could feel his smirk, the hands on her behind tightening. “You’re right. I should probably–”

Rowan cut him off before he even had a chance to voice his thoughts. “I swear if you say you’re going to be a gentleman about this, I’m going to kidnap you and tie you to my bed,” she said, barely even recognizing her own words.

He chuckled, kissing her jaw before whispering, “I’d rather be the one tying you up, Red.” She swore the world stopped spinning. “But I’d like to save that.”

“Put a pin in it?” she asked, chasing his lips as he laughed.

“Yeah. We’ll put a pin in it.” Rowan tried to stop the yawn that threatened to break them apart, but she couldn’t help it when they pulled away. She felt Bucky kiss her cheek and say, “Okay, as much as I’d like to come up, you need to sleep tonight. I kept you up a little late last night.”

“You can still come up,” she said, holding the lapels of his jacket. When he raised an eyebrow, she said, “I promise I’ll behave myself.”

“Alpine is gonna claw me to pieces tomorrow,” he said, kissing her one more time before taking her hand and leading her to the door. 

When they entered her apartment, they both removed their shoes and jackets before Rowan took his hand and led him back to the bedroom. They showered and it was then Bucky’s turn to behave once wandering hands began to become too bold, and as much as Rowan wanted to indulge him, the exhaustion was beginning to hit harder with every second that passed. He pulled on his briefs as she took his shirt and a pair of underwear, both of them climbing beneath the warmth of her bedding. She curled up into his heat, resting her head on his chest as he pressed a kiss to her hair.

“Good night, Red,” he said with a tired sigh.

“Good night, Sarge.”

Chapter Text

Rowan had forgotten how much fun it was to watch movies with someone who had never seen them before. Bucky’s eyes were wide as saucers through the entire two-and-a-half hours of Jurassic Park. Whether in awe or fear changed depending on which scene they were viewing, but Rowan had more fun watching him than she did watching the film, which never happened. Especially not with Jurassic Park. 

When the first dinosaurs appeared on screen, she could see he was second-guessing whether or not they were real in the first place. It only got better once the action started and the dinosaurs started letting themselves free. “The kids aren’t going to die, right?” he would ask whenever the children in the film were in danger. If only to ease his conscience, she would assure him neither child would die. Not even when they were trapped in the kitchen with two velociraptors. When the film finished, he looked at her with newfound shock and said, “ That is your favorite film of all time?!”

Their night only got better once she popped in The Princess Bride . Considering how cheesy and romantic it looked, he insisted he probably wouldn’t enjoy it, but he watched it for her. Rowan knew the very moment Bucky realized he had been wrong while watching the Dread Pirate Roberts battle Inigo Montoya with their blades. From then, he couldn’t keep his eyes off the film. It wasn’t until the end of the movie, when Buttercup and Westley kissed, that he finally looked away, only to wipe away the tears that had formed in his eyes that he continued to deny existed. And when he finally turned back to face her smug smile, all he said was, “Yeah. Good movie.”

It was in the weeks after that she had found him, more than once, replaying The Princess Bride when she would show up at his door.

She was glad to say that she and Alpine got along swimmingly. If anything, Alpine adored Rowan’s presence. Every time she would pay a visit to Bucky’s apartment, the little white ball of fluff would be curled up in her lap before she could even sit down. Bucky would kiss her before looking down at his cat, a smile on his lips as he whispered, “You traitor. Stop trying to steal my girl.” Alpine would meow innocently, pawing her little feet into Rowan’s chest as she sat up to look her in the eye. 

And the sex … what could she possibly say about the sex that could do it justice? Despite Bucky’s seventy-year lapse, he gave as good as he got in the bedroom. And he always gave as much as she could take, constantly. He couldn’t be sated, no matter how many rounds they went. With how often she found herself up against a wall or pushed onto the bed, she put herself on the pill to avoid any unwanted– ahem –side effects of their relationship. Now, that wasn’t to say she wasn’t the one grabbing him whenever she found the opportunity, but Bucky was always more than happy to oblige her desires whenever she saw him. More often than not, a movie night would turn into a stumbling rush to the bedroom, clothes tossed to the floor in a rush to find one another beneath it all. 

Bucky spent more time at Rowan’s apartment than he did his own, something she was glad of when they walked home together after her long nights at work. But occasionally they’d skip her door and head straight to his while Alpine curled up beside them in bed. It was one of those moments when Bucky and Rowan woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, pushing them from their slumber. Rowan groaned in malcontent and checked the little clock he kept on his desk as Bucky reached over her and grabbed his phone, Alpine jumping up and running out of the room at the disturbance in her sleep. With a few apologetic kisses to Rowan’s shoulder, he said, “Sorry, doll, it’s Sam.”

“Tell him that until the sun comes up, you’re mine,” she said, rolling over and laying her head on his chest, pinning him down to the bed. 

She felt him smile as he kissed her forehead. “I’m always yours.” Still, he answered the phone, putting it up to his ear. “Do you know what time it is?” he grumbled.

Rowan could just barely hear Sam’s response. “Sorry, man, but this couldn’t wait. We got orders.”

At Bucky’s silence, Rowan opened her eyes. He glanced down at her, regret swimming in his expression before he said, “Mission?”

“Yeah.”

Fear sapped the exhaustion from her body as she looked up at Bucky, who avoided her eyes. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright, Sam. When?”

“I’m sorry to pull you away but we’ve gotta leave tomorrow. I’ll meet you at your apartment, I’ll be there around two,” Sam said.

“You think we can meet at a secondary location?” he asked. Rowan felt his hold on her tighten.

“If you think I’m being trailed, you’re underestimating me, Buck.”

“Nothing like that,” Bucky said with a roll of his eyes. “There’s someone I want you to meet before we head out.”

“As much as I wanna tease you about this, it’s three in the morning and neither of us has the mind capacity for that,” he said. Rowan pouted at Bucky, who pinched her in the side. She covered her mouth to keep herself silent. “Alright, give me the address and we’ll head out from there.”

Bucky rattled off the address to the Velvet Vixen before he and Sam canceled the call. His head dropped back onto the pillows, a long sigh leaving his lips as he looked to Rowan, who waited for him to speak. “I’m sorry, Red,” he said. His hand ran soothingly up and down her back. “I got orders.”

“Don’t apologize. I knew this would happen sooner or later,” she said. It didn’t make it any easier to hear. 

“The last thing I wanna do is leave you behind,” he said, pulling her closer so she hovered above him. He pushed her long hair aside, cupping her cheek tenderly. “I’ve gotten kinda used to waking up beside you.”

“I’ll still be here when you get back,” she said. When. Not if. When . “In the meantime, you have Sam to cuddle when you’re lonely.”

Bucky grimaced. “I’d rather get shot than cuddle that man again.”

Her eyes widened. “Again?!” she asked, laughing hard despite the late hour.

“It was non-consensual cuddling after we fell off a truck-” he quickly tried to explain, but she covered his lips with her own. He fell into place beneath her, holding tightly to whatever part of her he could find. 

“I really hope our cuddling is more than consensual,” she said, shifting back over his hips. Despite the late hour, the idea of Bucky leaving the next day left a sour taste in her mouth. She wanted as much of him as she could get before he left.

“Very, very consensual,” he said breathlessly, lifting his head to deepen the kiss as she grinded against his cock. His breath stuttered as he said, “Red, it’s three A.M.”

“And I plan to continue this when we wake up in the morning,” she said, kissing down his cheek and neck. His stubble brushed roughly against her lips, but she couldn’t help biting down into his skin, sucking a harsh mark as his vibranium hand wrapped loosely around her throat. It tightened when she sank onto his length, Bucky letting out a breathy moan as she began to softly move her hips against his. It wasn’t long before both of them were gasping in ecstasy, his arms wrapped tightly around her as they came in a soft unison.

Bucky’s chest heaved against hers as she pulled back, pushing her hair behind her ears to look down at him as he said, “I’m gonna miss doin’ that while I’m away.” He kissed her gently before she dropped down beside him, curling into his warmth.

“Don’t ask Sam to help ease your frustration,” she said, laughing as he rolled his eyes and pinched her side again. 

“You need to sleep,” he said and trapped her in his embrace. The lull of his breath soon soothed Rowan into sleep.

As soon as she woke up, she made good on her promise to Bucky. She took him in as many ways as she could before her alarm clock demanded her attention. As always, he walked her to the subway station and kissed her goodbye, promising to bring Sam by the Vixen before he left for his mission. She didn’t want to say the reason why she held him just a little longer than usual before she stepped onto the subway. 

Rowan knew her tight smile and lagging demeanor was an immediate tip off to Dahlia about her state of mind that day. As soon as she arrived at work, she plastered on the best grin she could as she served up drinks to tourists and regulars alike. She kept checking her phone every spare moment she got, glancing at the door in anticipation before Dahlia finally startled her from her thoughts with a hand to her shoulder.

“Ro’, are you alright?” she asked. “You’ve been jittery since you stepped inside.” Lowering her voice, she smirked and asked, “You’re not high, are you? Because I will ask for a hit from your stash.”

“Christ, Dahlia. I thought you quit,” Rowan said. Just the sight of Dahlia’s mischievous eyes sent some normalcy back into her bones, helping her calm. 

“I did,” she said. “Just, you know, hoping to have a little bit of fun today.” Rowan managed a laugh, her shaking hands nearly dropping the glass she had been cleaning. She could feel Dahlia’s gaze turn concerned. “Seriously, though, what’s the matter?”

“Bucky got called in. For a mission,” she said. “He’s meeting his partner here in a few minutes and I’m just-” A long breath left her chest. 

“You’re pre-worrying again,” Dahlia said, taking her by the shoulders. 

“Yeah, well, I think I have a pretty good reason to,” she said. The doorbell jingled and instantly her eyes met Bucky’s at the door. Fear and relief mixed in her gut as she met his smiling gaze before looking at the man beside him. He was tall with deep brown skin and a goatee around his lips. She could only assume this was the Sam she heard so much about. Rushing from behind the bar, she wrapped her arms around Bucky’s shoulders and kissed him before she said, “You’re ten minutes late. What happened to that punctuality?”

“Sam was taking his sweet time,” Bucky said, sending a glare his way.

“I’m sorry if I wanted to look nice for the first time I meet your girlfriend, man,” Sam said, his eyes narrowed at Bucky before he put on a suave smile and extended his hand to Rowan. “Sam Wilson. You must be the Rowan I’ve heard so little about.” Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose out of the corner of her eye as Sam grinned. “I’m kidding. Buck talks about you all the damn time. Now, at least. I can’t get him to shut up.”

“Now you know how I feel around you,” Bucky said, his arm going around her waist. 

Rowan grinned at their banter and said, “Good to finally put a face to the name, Sam.”

“We don’t have much time,” Sam began, “but I wouldn’t mind a quick drink before we go. If that’s good with you.”

“Anything to keep this one here just a little longer,” she said with a nonchalant nod towards Bucky.

He smiled and kissed the top of her head and said, “I wholeheartedly agree with you, Red.”

She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek before leading them to the bar as she said, “Seat yourself anywhere, Captain.” She stepped back up behind the bar only to find Dahlia still waiting there. Except her focus wasn’t on Rowan. It was on Sam. 

As soon as Sam took a seat, he looked at Dahlia with a sly grin. “Well, hello,” he said. “Sam Wilson.”

Dahlia’s expression turned just as sultry as she shook his hand, leaning against the bar as she said, “Dahlia Jain.”

“Dahlia. Like the flower?” Sam asked. Rowan shared a look with Bucky, who shook his head with a small laugh. “Beautiful.”

“Uh, Lia?” Rowan said. She could see the clear irritation in Dahlia’s eyes at being interrupted. “Table four is calling you.” Dahlia noticed her neglected clients and quickly gave Sam a flutter of her eyelashes as she bid him goodbye. Rowan hid her laugh behind her hand as Sam watched her walk away until she disappeared. “A drink, Sam?”

He blinked and cleared his throat as he said, “Just a beer.”

“Same for you, Bucky?”

“You know it, doll,” he said with a smile before giving a shit-eating grin to Sam. 

As soon as they had their drinks, Rowan saw Dahlia ushering her to talk, eyes wide. With a long sigh, she approached the end of the bar where Dahlia waited and said, “Didn’t your dad tell you to stop flirting with customers?”

“I barely even got the chance to flirt before you dropped me back into the lion’s den,” Dahlia said. Her gaze turned back to Sam. “That man is a tall drink of hot chocolate and I gotta get a few more minutes alone with him.”

Rowan nearly burst out laughing, biting her tongue as her shoulders shook. “You do know that’s Captain America, right?” she said through giggles.

“I don’t give a fuck what he is,” Dahlia said dreamily. “You tell your boyfriend to get him back here as soon as possible and as often as possible. I’m going to work my ass off for this one.”

“Dahlia, take a breath,” Rowan said. “You just met the guy.”

“I can appreciate an attractive man, can I not?” Dahlia said as she crossed her arms. 

“Not according to restaurant rules.”

“Rules were made to be broken,” she said, nodding towards Bucky. “Just look at you.”

Rowan snorted and said, “You know I’m saying this just to fuck with you, right?”

“I never thought any less,” Dahlia said with a wide smile. “But, seriously, if he hangs out with your man, I don’t see how anything could be wrong with him. We both know my track record is, well… questionable.”

“I’ve seen the men you date, Lia. Yes, I do know,” Rowan said. 

“Okay, I’ve hogged enough of your time from Bucky. Go be with him,” Dahlia said before rushing away. But not without one last look towards Sam, who laughed beside Bucky with a beer in his hand.

Rowan returned to her job, taking Bucky’s empty beer glass as Sam said, “Your friend seems like a real interesting type, Rowan.”

“Interesting is definitely one way to describe Dahlia,” she said with a snort. “But I promise you, she’s one hell of a catch.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” Sam said with a grin. “But what about you? What made you pick the Bionic Staring Machine?” As if to prove his point, Bucky stared down Sam with a glower. “See what I mean?!”

“Well, he doesn’t stare at me like that,” Rowan said, her words hinting at the tone of suggestion that made Bucky look down at his hands with a smile.

“Okay. Didn’t need to hear that,” Sam said. “But hey, you ever need to break, just give me a call and I’ll have his ass on a mission by sundown.”

“You do that, and I’ll break your phone, Sam,” Bucky said.

“Don’t worry, Bucky,” Rowan said with a chuckle. “I’d never be so cruel.”

She saw Sam smile his way as he said, “You got yourself a good one here, Buck. She’s spunky.”

“Trust me, I know,” Bucky said. The look he gave her had her cheeks heating up enough to have him laughing. 

“As much as I’d like to stay and chit-chat, we need to get going,” Sam said as he quickly finished his drink. They both paid their tabs before Rowan circled out from behind the bar, meeting the both of them by the door. When Sam looked between the two of them, he said, “You know what, I think I’m gonna try to get Dahlia's number. Lay on the charm, you know?”

“What charm?” Bucky asked, shaking his head as he strode away. When he met Rowan’s gaze, he said, “Hey, come on. Let’s talk outside. I don’t need to kiss you goodbye surrounded by drunk tourists.”

She laughed and nodded, following him outside. Thankfully, the street was empty, and when Rowan lifted her arms to hold him tightly, she didn’t feel him stiffen at their public display. “God, what am I gonna do while you’re gone?” she asked. Her hand gently stroked through his dark hair.

“Study,” he said when they pulled back. His hands held tightly to her back, holding her as close as they could get. “You can watch Alpine, right?”

“Yeah, she’ll be in safe hands,” she said.

“And you’ll watch yourself too, I hope.”

She felt Bucky push her glasses further up her nose. “I’ll certainly try,” she said, cupping his cheeks in her hands. “I’m gonna miss you, Bucky.”

“Not as much as I’ll miss you, Red,” he said, leaning his forehead against hers. He pulled back just enough to reach into his shirt and pull out the dog tags he always had hanging from his neck. “Here,” he said as he put them over her head. “A piece of me.”

“I can’t take these, Buck. I know how much they mean to you,” she said.

“Not as much as you mean to me,” he said, stilling her hands. He kissed her knuckles. “Just you having them will give me some peace of mind.”

Rowan gulped back the tears. This was ridiculous. He was coming back. Still… it didn’t make it any easier to send him off to a mission of dangerous life or death. “You keep yourself safe, alright?” she said. “The last thing I need is a call telling me you blew yourself up trying to save Wilson’s ass.”

“Nothing could stop me from coming back to you,” he said. “I shouldn’t be gone more than a few days, if all goes well.”

“And if all goes to shit?”

He kissed her forehead. “You gotta trust me, Rowan. I’m comin’ back whether you want me to or not.”

They shared a smile. “Lucky for you I want you to.” Her hands rested on his chest as she leaned up for a kiss, moving to hold him in place by the back of his neck. Rowan could feel Bucky’s desperation in that kiss, holding her body as close to him as he could as their lips moved in tandem. When they pulled back, she said, “Kick their asses.”

Sam walked back out at that moment, stepping to the side as Bucky kissed Rowan a few more times as he said, “I’ll see you soon, doll.”

“See you soon,” she said. She stole one last kiss before he turned and followed Sam down the street to a large black truck. They both hopped in, and soon they were driving down the road. She didn’t know how long she had stood there until Dahlia came out, holding her shoulder gently. “Did you get his number?” she asked.

Dahlia snorted. “Of course I did.” That was enough to make Rowan smile, if only a little. “You gonna be okay?”

She sniffled, wiping her eyes free of the unshed tears from behind her glasses. “Yeah. I’ll be fine,” she said, quickly reentering the restaurant and pushing herself back to her work. Just to take her mind off the idea of Bucky going into danger without her there.

#

Bucky watched as the buildings of New York quickly turned into the upstate trees. His leg bounced in the passenger seat as his eyes followed every sign and tree he saw. The drive had been silent, the boisterous atmosphere from the Vixen having melted away as soon as he and Sam entered mission mode. 

“You’ve got a real good one there, Bucky,” Sam said, breaking through the silence. When he turned his head back to his friend, Sam continued. “Rowan. She’s just the kind of person you need.”

Bucky cleared his throat, looking down at his hands. “I know. I hate to leave her like this,” he said. His breath shook. “Am I making a mistake, Sam? Involving myself with a civilian? God knows how worried she’s going to be and I just can’t-”

“Hey,” Sam said, brows furrowed in concern. “You told her what you do for a living, right? That you’d have to leave sometimes for missions?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Bucky, it was her decision to stay,” Sam said. “Now, I don’t know her well, but from what you told me, she’s not just gonna give up when things get hard. She’s someone who steps up, and she’ll be there waiting for you when you get back. Don’t run from that, man. You deserve to be happy after all the shit the world’s put you through.”

“Maybe, but what if it gets too much?” Bucky said. Panic seized his chest. “She’s seen my nightmares, Sam. She knows I’ll get called on more missions. I’m not exactly the kind of a guy a father would hope a daughter brings home to meet the family. What if these last few months are all I get, and one day the missions are just too much?”

Sam shook his head, a little laughter leaving his lips. “That woman is tough as nails, Buck. You said so yourself.” Bucky smiled. Sam was right about that. “And I think the only reason you’re so worried is because you’re on your way to falling in love with her and you don’t want to let her go.”

“Okay. Enough talk,” Bucky said, facing away. 

“Hey, don’t cut me off. I’m right,” Sam said, offended. Bucky grumbled as Sam continued. “This is a good thing! Opening yourself up to someone other than my family.”

“When did you become my therapist?” Bucky asked as Sam laughed. 

“When I conned my way into being your friend,” he said. Ah, so that was how he forced his way into Bucky’s life. Not that he minded. Sam, when he wasn’t being a smartass, was a good friend that Bucky needed. “Don’t harp on what could be when you’ve got the best thing going for you now .”

“Just keep driving, Birdbrain,” Bucky said, leaning his head back. Although Sam’s words had struck a nerve. Bucky had felt himself slowly falling more and more for Rowan with each day that passed. How could he not? But love? He’d never been a man for love, not even before the war. But this connection he had with Rowan had buried in him like a bullet, quick and deep. Was that what real love felt like? He supposed he could ask Steve, the next time he went to visit the old man. He had found love and did everything in his power to keep it. 

Bucky just knew he would do the same for Rowan, no matter what.

#

Rowan stared at the ceiling, Alpine curled up on her stomach as she gnawed at her lip in anxiety. It had been two days since Bucky had left for his missions. Of course, she had texted him and called him every spare moment he had, but it just wasn’t the same as him being there with her. Comforting her. Watching old movies with her. She checked her phone again, but there was nothing. The last she heard, he and Sam were storming an old base of the group they were hunting down. He made it more than clear he and Sam intended to get out of this situation alive and well, despite the danger she worried about.

Alpine stretched out her legs before curling back into herself, nuzzling her nose in her paws on Rowan’s stomach. She gaped at just how adorable Bucky’s cat was, sneaking a few pictures to keep for herself as Alpine lightly purred. She had been in that position for almost two hours, and hunger was beginning to take control of her mind, but she couldn’t bring herself to disturb Alpine’s peaceful and adorable slumber. White fur collected in clumps on Bucky’s black shirt she wore. His scent still lingered on the pillows and sheets. She hadn’t been back to her apartment since he left, knowing she would miss what little of him she could take hold of. 

When her stomach grumbled for the third time in five minutes, she sighed and pet Alpine as she said, “I’m so sorry, Al, but it’s time for dinner.” Alpine’s beautiful blue eyes peeked open, nuzzling her head under Rowan’s chin. She nearly melted. “I know you’re tired, but we’ve gotta eat.”

With regret, she sat up, forcing Alpine to freeze and jump up from her cuddly slumber. Rowan stood and stretched her legs as the cat ran from the bedroom, Rowan following behind her as she trudged to Bucky’s fridge where her leftover Chinese takeout sat waiting for her. She brushed off the cat hair left behind (to little avail) and grabbed a fork as she stabbed it down into her orange chicken, chewing as she prepared Alpine’s Fancy Feast. She got out the little white bowl, Bucky’s handwriting writing out Al on the side. As soon as the food was in the bowl, Alpine jumped up to the counter and began feasting, making little sounds as Rowan puckered her lip at how cute she was, eating her Chinese as she took another photo. 

Bucky had so quickly made her a cat person just by having Alpine.

She heard the buzz of her phone ringing and nearly flew to pick it up. She deflated when she saw Dahlia’s name but answered anyway. “Hey, Lia.”

“Hey, Ro’. Just wanted to check up on you, see how you were doing,” Dahlia said. She could hear the restaurant sounds in the background. 

“You make it sound like I’m dying,” she said, opening her computer. Her disregarded homework sat staring at her through the screen, a half-finished essay screaming for her to complete it. 

“This is the first time you’ve been away from Bucky since you started dating,” Dahlia said. “I’m bound to be a little worried considering you’ve spent every single day with him for almost two months.”

“Not every single day,” Rowan said, her voice weak. “Just… a lot.”

“Mhm. Okay,” Dahlia said. She could practically see the eye roll. “But, really, you alright?”

“Yeah. I spoke with him a few hours ago. They're storming the castle, or something,” she said as she ran her eyes over her essay. Her brain took in none of the information given. She sighed, biting the inside of her cheek. “I know this is what he does for a living and that he’s a literal superhero, but I can’t help but worry about him.”

“That’s completely normal. You care! Of course you’re going to worry!” Dahlia said. “You love this man.”

“Whoa, Dahlia,” Rowan said, standing up straight. Her essay suddenly didn’t matter anymore. “It’s a little soon to be thinking about stuff like that, isn’t it?” Although she couldn’t lie and say the thought didn’t make her buzz with electricity.

“There’s never ‘too soon’ when it comes to love,” Dahlia said, a smug tone in her voice. “Do you remember that couple from the university? Dated for two months and suddenly they were married?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s been four years and they’re as happy as ever with a little girl and another one on the way. They told me the last time I called that they just knew as soon as they met that they loved one another.”

“Lia, that’s an exception. That’s not the rule.”

“Okay, but can you tell me you don’t love Bucky Barnes?”

Rowan hesitated, picking at her food as she said, “I… It’s early, isn’t it? I mean we’ve only been going out for two months.”

“Don’t listen to me. I’m just your best friend and literally the reason you two got together.”

“Dahlia, you are not the reason Bucky and I got together.”

“You wouldn’t have gotten his phone number if it wasn’t for me, I’m telling you.”

Her phone buzzed again, and pulling back, her heart leaped to her throat when she saw Bucky’s contact. “Oh, God, Dahlia, he’s calling. I’ve gotta go!” Dahlia spared as quick a goodbye as they could make before Rowan canceled their call to open Bucky’s. She couldn’t help but smile as she said, “Hey, Bucky.”

“Hey, Red. Wanted to call you to let you know we’re alright here,” he said. His voice sounded rough between the static of the phone. “I couldn’t wait to call you. Drivin’ me crazy not hearing your voice all the time.”

“Aw, I’m sorry Sam isn’t a suitable replacement,” she said with a chuckle, one Bucky replied in kind with. Although she knew he was rolling his eyes.

“Definitely not. His voice isn’t as sweet as yours, doll.”

“Hey, I heard that, asshole! I have a beautiful voice!”

Rowan burst out laughing at Sam’s interruption and the small argument he and Bucky got into. “Really, I’m glad you guys are okay,” she said, petting Alpine as she demanded love.

“We’ve still got one more base to go, and I promise you, it’s the last one for this mission,” he said, quieter. “If not, I’m leaving Sam to deal with it while I speed back home to you.”

Home to you . Her heart swelled at the thought. “Well, as much as I’d love that, I know Sam wouldn’t take to being left alone, especially not in the middle of an investigation.”

“He’ll deal with it. He’s the new Cap. He’ll figure it out,” Bucky said. “But how are you? Are you doing okay? Hope you’re thinkin’ of me every minute I’m gone, missing me.”

“Oh, you know, here and there. I’ve had Alpine to keep me company,” she said. The fluffy white cat purred as Rowan gently stroked over her back. “She’s been wonderful.”

“Good to hear that. Last time I left her with someone, she downright scratched her eyes out,” Bucky said, causing Rowan to laugh. “I don’t think Misty has fully recovered from that one yet.”

“We’re doing good, Buck,” she said, but her countenance became solemn. “We’d be better if you were back. I don’t like the bed being so empty.”

“I’ll be home soon, I promise. End of the week, tops.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Sarge,” she said.

She heard him sigh, one of pure frustration as he said, “You gotta be careful about when you say that.”

“Maybe, but it’s fun to get you all wound up,” she said with a wide grin.

“You’ll pay for that when I get home.”

“I sincerely hope you do.” With a deep sigh, she played with the dog tags around her neck as she asked, “Is there anything you’re allowed to tell me about what you’re doing?”

“We’re getting ready to infiltrate this group’s known base. Sources say the leader’s here, so here’s to hoping it’s all over after tomorrow,” he said. 

“Here’s to hoping,” she said. “God, get out of there safe, okay? You come home with more than a bruise and I’ll kick Sam’s ass myself for letting you get hurt.”

“Doll, as much as I love you fussing over me, I do have eighty years of experience in these kinds of situations.”

“Sporadic years! And you can’t tell me you didn’t get injured once during any of those years.” At his radio silence, she hummed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Don’t go trying to blow yourself up.”

“I swear I won’t try to blow myself up. On purpose.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

She hesitated, the words on her lips stopping just before she could say them. Instead, she huffed and said, “Fuck, you’re right. I don’t.”

“When I get back, we can curl up on my couch and watch episodes of that show you’ve been begging me to see,” he said.

“It’s criminal you haven’t watched Game of Thrones yet,” she said, gasping. “Every single person in the world has watched it and loves it.”

“I also want to check out that sitcom you were talking about. What was it? Scientists and shit…”

“The Big Bang Theory.”

“That’s the one. I want to see that too.”

“I’ll make sure we have all the time in the world when you come home,” she said, leaning against the countertop. 

Someone spoke over the phone, something she couldn’t hear, and she heard Bucky sigh before he said, “I’ve gotta go, Red. We’re closing in on the landing site.”

“Okay,” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Good luck storming the castle. Let me know you’re safe, please.”

“Always.” Something caught in his breath as he hesitated before saying, “See you soon, Rowan.”

“See you soon, Bucky.” The call was cut off. As though she knew, Alpine pushed her head into Rowan’s cheek, causing her to laugh at her sudden affectionate nuzzling. “I know, baby, I know you miss him too.” She picked her up and carried her to the couch, turning on the television and scrolling through Netflix until she found something to keep her mind off her unbearable anxiety.

His texts over the next day were sporadic at best, rare at worst. She knew he was safe and alright, and that so far, their mission was going as planned, but Rowan still felt the tension in her shoulders every time she waited for him to respond. Not even Alpine’s cuddles were enough to keep her mind off Bucky’s absence. Dahlia had done her best to soothe Rowan out of her cage, and it did help to be around someone other than Bucky’s cat. As much as she loved Alpine, she wasn’t the best listener when it came to ranting and distracting her. With Dahlia (who gushed at the sight of Alpine), Rowan was able to get past her fears as best she could, knowing that Bucky had done missions just like this one a million times before. He would be alright. Both he and Sam would get out alive and mostly unharmed. 

When Saturday hit, Rowan rushed to Bucky’s apartment as soon as she was out of work. He had texted that all went according to plan and he was on his way home, hopefully before she got out of work. She opened the door with her key, but only spotted Alpine lying back on the couch. Okay, just a few more minutes she thought, closing and locking the door behind her as she sat down beside Alpine.

She turned on the television to keep her mind distracted, flipping through news channels and reality tv shows before settling on Friends reruns. Rowan drank from Bucky’s beer stash, tapping her foot against the floor as she checked the time over and over again. Alpine was blissfully unaware of the roiling impatience burning in Rowan’s heart. She checked the time again. Thirty minutes passed. Empires had risen and fallen in shorter periods. She discarded the television as a distraction and finished the last of her homework for the weekend, her eyes flickering to the clock on her screen every few minutes. She knew her professor wouldn’t appreciate her half-hearted essay, but she had turned in worse for more important classes. 

When Alpine shot up from her spot and began pacing in front of the door, meowing loudly, Rowan’s head shot up to see Bucky stepping through. An almost painful smile burst onto her face as she ran to him, jumping in his arms and wrapping around him like a sloth. He let out an oomph , laughing at her enthusiasm before squeezing her back with just as much joy. He held her there as she cupped his cheeks and kissed him, over and over again until her lips were red and tingly. She ran her hands through his hair, along his stubble, across his cheeks, taking in every bit of him that she could. She could see a few scratch marks on his forehead and a bandage on his nose, but other than that, he seemed ready to take on the world. 

“Christ, I missed you so much, Red,” he said between kisses. Nothing could wipe the smile from their faces. 

“I missed you too. I swear I thought my head was going to explode if you made me wait another minute here by myself,” she said, resting her forehead against his. He let her feet drop to the floor, embracing her again as he breathed in her scent. Rowan buried her face in his neck, dust and ash mixing with his usual woodsy musk. 

“I don’t think I could stand another day of hearing your voice through my phone instead of right beside me,” he said. He brushed her hair from her face, fixing her glasses that had fallen askew in their passionate reunion. Bucky kissed her again, a few chaste presses of his lips to hers. Alpine’s meowing could go ignored no longer, and he wasted no time in picking up his cat and kissing her on the nose at least a dozen times as he said, “I know. I missed you too, malyshka . I hope you were more courteous to Red than you were to Misty.”

“She was the image of grace,” Rowan said, Alpine’s soft fur beneath her fingers. 

“That’s good to hear,” Bucky said, pressing more kisses to Alpine’s head. It made Rowan smile seeing just how much he adored his cat. He let her jump from his arms before pulling Rowan back in, nudging his nose against hers as he said, “Now, as much as I’d like to curl up with Al, I’ve got some catching up to do with you. You’ve got a debt to pay, Red.”

“Do I?” she asked innocently, holding his lapels as she tilted back from his lips, forcing him to chase her. “ Sarge .”

Bucky didn’t let her go much further, leaning forward to seal their lips together in a hot kiss. His metal hand held her throat, his other pulling her hips into his. The clinking of his vibranium hand hitting his dog tags around her neck seemed to spur him on, for he pushed Rowan back until they were falling onto the couch, too desperate to make it to the bedroom. She had gone six days without his touch, and she intended to make up for lost time. 

Bucky ripped off his jacket and shirt, hovering over Rowan and caging her in with his strong arms. His hands fiddled with the hem of her shirt before pulling it off, trailing his lips down her collarbone as he nipped at her breasts. Rowan’s hands slid into his hair, pulling with each lick of his tongue and each bite of his teeth. He kissed down her stomach and unbuttoned her jeans, tugging them from her legs with haste and kissing down each thigh until he reached her heels. He looked up at her through his beautiful eyes, kissing her shin gently and slipping back up as his fingers hooked in her underwear, sliding them down her legs and shoving them into his pants pocket. She bit her lip in anticipation, heavy eyes watching him through her glasses as he wasted no time before diving in.

Bucky knew how to play her like a fiddle. His tongue strummed against her clit with precision he had fostered over their nights together, his lips a sinful reminder of just how well he knew her body. Rowan’s head fell back against the arm of the couch, her hands coming up to grasp at the leather behind her. Her eyes fluttered shut, feeling his fingers digging into her thighs to hold her open for him as he traced his tongue from her opening to her clit and back down again, slipping inside just enough to have her keening with a high moan. Sweat beaded down her chest as her entire body grew hot.

“Hell, I missed this,” she heard him mutter. More like felt . With every word, he sent shivers and vibrations down her spine. “Could spend weeks between your legs.”

“ Fuck , James,” she gasped. He lifted himself to push further into his ministrations, every once in a while looking up to meet her eyes with a sly expression. Her peak quickly snuck up on her, sending her head back as she moaned in pure ecstasy, her climax crashing through her body in pleasant waves that Bucky only urged to strengthen. Even as overstimulation caved through her, he didn’t pull away. “Too much,” she managed to say.

“One more,” he said, holding her hand to ground her. 

She tried to shake her head, to say it was becoming too much, but the pleasure slowly began to build all over again as he buried himself as far as he could get between her legs. Soon, another orgasm hit her body like a truck, and it was only then that Bucky pulled back with light kisses down her legs. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand before crawling back over her, bringing his lips to hers as her legs wrapped around his waist to hold him close. Her hands worked to remove his pants, but she only got so far as to free his cock before Bucky was pushing into her, splitting her open with a guttural moan of his own. 

Her arm wrapped around his shoulders as he thrust into her with reckless abandon, chasing their pleasure as his hand wrapped around her neck again, tightening too much, she could feel her breathing begin to ebb. But that only made her more sensitive, more aroused, and Bucky’s eyes watching the pleasure form on her face nearly sent her over the edge all over again. He held the arm of the couch, kissing her cheek and around her glasses as his brows furrowed in a struggle to keep himself going. Each breath, each pulse between them, was like a fire that was suddenly reigniting after days of being dry. 

When she cried out, the heat between them rising to white hot levels, Bucky pounded into her as he chased his own pleasure while she came down from her high. He followed her with a curse, letting go of her neck as his thrusts became slow and sloppy before he stopped entirely. He slumped against Rowan’s body, his head resting on her chest as her hands went to his hair, gently running through the soft brown locks. He kissed her chest a few times, leading all the way up to kiss her lips tenderly as he pulled out of her. Rowan curled into his warmth, his arm holding her close as they snuggled up into the couch to catch their breath.

“So,” he began, a long sigh leaving his chest, “ Game of Thrones ?”

“You sure you don’t want to sleep?” she asked, tracing little shapes into his chest. “I’m sure you’re tired as hell.”

“We can at least watch one episode,” he said with a light shrug. “Just to start it.”

“I mean, I’m not going to turn down watching Game of Thrones ,” she said as she grabbed the blanket from behind the couch, pulling it over their sweaty bodies. She managed to grab the remote from the ground to turn the TV to HBO and started the first episode.

As the title music played, Bucky kissed her forehead and whispered, “I missed you, Red.”

Chapter Text

“Why didn’t you tell me Hammond dies in the book?!” Bucky asked, holding up her copy of Jurassic Park. 

“Because that would be a massive spoiler, wiseass!” Rowan replied, flipping the pancake in her pan. “I told you the book is so much different from the movie.”

“Yeah, they killed Malcolm too. What was the point of that one?” Bucky grumbled as he put the book back on her shelf as she laughed. 

“To show he had been right all along. The only one talking sense.”

“But having Hammond be eaten by his own compys?”

“The dangers of science, coming back to bite him. Literally,” she said. “The book was a statement. Of course the guy responsible for Jurassic Park was gonna get killed.” Rowan dropped the finished pancakes on their plates, dividing them into chocolate chips and plain. “Bucky, this is the last time we make pancakes. We’ve had them for three straight weeks.”

He joined her behind the kitchen countertop, leaning against her with his arms around her waist as he buried his nose in her neck. “Only if I get to trade it in for something sweeter,” he said, kissing her cheek.

Rowan flushed red, leaning her head back on his shoulder to meet his eyes. “You are absolutely insatiable,” she said with a laugh.

“Only around you, Red,” he said, trailing kisses down her neck. They were sweet and chaste, bringing a smile to her lips as Bucky hugged her tighter. He loved being able to hold her as close as he wanted to, to breathe in her sweet scent and lose himself in her. With one more kiss to her cheek, he pulled away to take a stack of pancakes, layering them in maple syrup before they dug into their breakfast. He hesitated before he said, “Rowan, do you have time to head out this morning for a few hours?”

She glanced up through her glasses. “Yeah, I’ve got a few before we have to be at Luke’s for Nathan’s birthday,” she said. “Why? Is something up?”

“There’s something I want to show you,” he said. “It’s just on the outside of town, shouldn’t take us too long.”

Her eyes narrowed playfully at him. “Are you going to tell me what it is?” she asked.

Bucky grinned and said, “That would ruin the surprise, doll.” He felt his stomach flip in nerves. “It’s just something I’ve been wanting to take you to see for a while now and I think it’s finally a good time.”

“If it’s so important to you, Bucky, of course I’ll go,” she said, taking his left hand in hers. She always took it without pause, no hesitation, despite the cold metal that resided there instead of warm flesh. Bucky could never understand how she was so sweet about it. “But we have to be at Luke’s by two. The party starts at three and I know Lucas won’t be able to handle decorations, cake, and everything else Nathan asked for.”

“Understood, ma’am. Two o’clock,” Bucky said with a little salute. He adored the way she looked down at her plate to hide her blush. God, he loved to watch her fluster. “By the way, we’ll take Sam’s truck today. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to drive out on my bike.”

“He’s letting you borrow it?” she asked. “I’m shocked. He loves that thing. It’s his baby.”

“Are you trying to say I’m a bad driver?” he asked.

“You’re a good driver for someone from 1940.”

He scoffed, laughing at her words. “There weren’t as many cars on the road.”

“I’m joking. At ease, Sergeant,” she said, ruffling his hair as she passed him by. He almost grabbed her to keep her there. “But really, I never thought I’d see the day Sam lets someone else take his truck. That thing is gorgeous.”

“Sounds like you’re jealous,” he said, taking his plate to the sink. He helped her wash up the dishes as he continued. “Are you going to leave me for Sam’s car?”

“As much as I’d love a truck of my own,” she said, wrapped her sudsy arms around his neck, “I don’t think I could go a day without your brooding face.”

“Good. ‘Cause I wasn’t quite ready to let go of you,” he said, kissing her deeply. His hands ran under her (his) shirt before sliding down and picking her up under her thighs. 

“Bucky, we have to get ready to go,” she said as he set her down on the countertop. He kissed her jaw, listening with pride at the way her breathing hitched. “We don’t have time.”

“I’ll skip the foreplay.”

“Like hell you will!”

That alone made him laugh hard enough to stop. He leaned his forehead in the crook of her neck as their laughter filled the apartment before he pulled back enough to look into her eyes, pinching her chin between his forefinger and thumb. “Alright, Rowan. You win,” he said. “But we are not finished here.”

“I never said we were,” she replied, giving him one last lingering kiss before hopping down from the countertop. Bucky watched, biting his lip, as she walked into their bedroom. He knew this woman was going to be the death of him, but he was more than okay with that. 

Once they were both dressed, Bucky took Rowan by the hand after she locked her apartment door, leading them out of the building and down to the street where Sam’s ridiculously large car was waiting for them. Bucky didn’t fully understand why such a large vehicle was necessary for anyone, but with the way Rowan’s eyes glittered as she hopped onto the leather seat, it was suddenly all worth it. The engine hummed as he turned the key before struggling a little bit to get out into the street. “Christ, how the hell did Sam get this here?” he asked as he carefully pulled through traffic, thousands of horns and careless New York drivers causing one-too-many near-accidents. 

Once they had escaped the death trap of New York City’s streets, it was smooth sailing. Rowan connected her phone to the speakers with something called ‘Bluetooth’ and played music from there. The mix of her favorites combined with his older favorites made a strange discharge between each song, but she had made the playlist specifically for them to enjoy their different tastes. Although Bucky had to admit that listening to her music, the ones she loved, opened his heart a little more to the music of the modern era. There was just something about country music that he liked. The rock music felt right in a lot of ways and more often than not, spoke to him personally. And the pop music was just fun. 

Once buildings turned to trees, Bucky knew they were close. Rowan’s hand held his on the center console, lacing their fingers together. He glanced at her to see her gazing around the road, trying to find where they were headed. “Be patient, Red. We’re almost there,” he said, kissing her hand in his.

They pulled up to a beautiful large home, the open road turning into gravel as Bucky drove down the street towards the parking lot. The sign at the entrance read Saint Benezet Retirement Care . As he turned off the ignition, he could see Rowan’s confused eyes as she looked from the sign to the multiple older residents that were walking along the nearby valleys. “Beautiful place,” she said as they hopped out of the car. “Are you finally going to tell me what we’re doing here?”

Bucky chuckled as he led her up to the door. “You’re very impatient.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile as she said, “I’m just excited! You said you’ve been wanting to bring me here for a while and I can’t wait to see why.”

“Wait here,” he said before he headed up to the front desk. Lisa, the kind receptionist, gave him a welcoming smile as he approached. “Hey, Lisa. Here to see the Captain. I’ve got someone with me.”

“Of course, James,” she said. “He’s been asking about you.”

“Has he?” he asked as he watched Lisa type on her computer. 

“He said to Barbara, ‘if that boy doesn’t get his butt up here to see me again, I’ll jump out this window and find him myself’,” she said, causing Bucky to laugh as he shook his head.

“Punk could never sit still,” he said.

With one last click of her mouse, Lisa said, “Alright, James. You’re good to go. You know the room.”

“Always. Thanks, Lisa.” Bucky tapped his hands against the counter before grabbing Rowan. “Come on, follow me.”

“Clearly we’re here to meet someone,” she said, raising her brow at him. “Someone important, by the looks of it.”

“Have you been trying to Sherlock Holmes your way into figuring this out?” he asked.

“You gave me no choice,” she said. “I had to at least try.”

“You don’t have to anymore,” he said as he approached the familiar door, knocking on the white paint. “‘Cause we’re here.”

“Come on in,” a frail voice said from beyond the door. Bucky opened it, grinning widely as he met Steve’s waiting form sitting neatly on his comfortable chair by the couch, golf playing on the television in front of him. “Bucky, it’s about time. I was wondering what was taking you so long.”

“Sorry, Steve,” he said, gesturing for Rowan to follow him in. Her wide eyes and shocked face were enough to make him chuckle. “I’ve been a little busy lately.”

Steve’s blue eyes went to Rowan as he smiled at her. “Clearly,” he said as Bucky and Rowan sat down beside him on the couch. Steve reached his hand for Rowan’s, who took it with a smile. “It is wonderful to finally meet you. I’m Steve Rogers.”

“A pleasure, Captain. I’m Rowan,” she said, shaking his hand. Bucky could hear the waver in her voice and wrapped an arm over her shoulder. He felt her relax. “It’s an honor to meet you, sir.”

“Oh, please, call me Steve,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Any friend of Bucky’s is a friend of mine.” The wink he shot Bucky was enough to make his ears turn red. “And any girlfriend , for that matter. He’s told me so much about you, Rowan. I’m so glad to finally meet you. Anyone who can make Bucky as happy as you have is welcome here anytime.”

“He’s told you about me?” she asked, looking over at him. 

“Only the good stuff, Red. I promise,” he said. He didn’t miss the wide smile on Steve’s wrinkled face. 

“Oh, then you must not have told him very much,” she said through her teeth, her amused demeanor making both men laugh beside her.

“In fact, he wouldn’t keep quiet about you,” Steve said, making Rowan lean forward as he did. Bucky could see he was in a prime spot for embarrassment, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when his best friend and his girlfriend were getting along so well. “With how much he talked about you, I would have thought he was going on about an angel sent from Heaven! Turns out I wasn’t too wrong.”

“Are you flirting with my girl, punk?” Bucky asked as Rowan hid her laugh behind her hand. 

“I was an artist, Buck! I can’t help but point out beautiful things,” Steve said as he gestured to Rowan.

“You were an artist?” she asked.

“Went to art school and everything before the war hit,” he said, letting out a sigh. 

“He had some talent,” Bucky said, making Steve scoff in modesty. “Drew my likeness more than once. He made me look better than some pictures could.”

“Well, that’s impossible,” she said as she gazed at him. “Not that I doubt your abilities, Steve.”

“Oh, no! I agree. He’s a flatterer, this one,” Steve said as Bucky rolled his eyes. “But I only just started getting back into the old habit. There isn’t much to do here and it helps to pass the time by sketching a pretty nurse or two. Bucky told me you were a, what was it, a bartender, right?”

“Yeah, I work down at the Velvet Vixen,” she said. “But once I get my master's, I plan to become a teacher.”

“Oh, I bet you’d make an incredible teacher,” he said. “Kids’ll love you!”

“I sure as hell hope so,” she said. Bucky tightened his hold on her, wanting to impart just a little bit of comfort to her. When her hand rested on his thigh, he knew it worked. 

“They will, doll,” he said, kissing her temple. He didn’t miss the way Steve’s gaze softened, a little smile lighting up his eyes. 

Bucky watched as Rowan and Steve talked for the next few hours, the few of them walking around the building and outside in the park behind it. He could never have imagined this meeting going so well, but watching the way Rowan kept up with Steve, even in his old age, and intently listened to every word he said brought untold joy bursting through Bucky’s heart. His life had turned rough after Steve decided to leave and Rowan was one of the only things keeping him going. Keeping him strong. Keeping him sane . And he knew Steve would know that as soon as he looked at her. Steve was always perceptive, and the way he attended to Rowan like an old friend was a welcome sign that let Bucky know that Steve wholeheartedly approved of her. In fact, he seemed to love her. 

They returned to Steve’s large room for a short lunch brought in by the nurses. They all knew Bucky and all gave him sweet greetings. He had to admit, he felt bad about having waited so long between his visits, but he wanted to bring Rowan with him so his old life and his new life could finally meet as one. But Steve didn’t seem to mind the wait, especially with the way he hung on Rowan’s every word about her time in university. Meanwhile, she hung on every word he had about his life as Captain America, as well as the stories he told about Bucky and him back when they were just two stupid boys running around Brooklyn. 

“Has Bucky taken you to Coney Island yet?” Steve asked. “That was always his favorite place to go.”

“He has,” she said. “It was our first date, actually.”

“Of course,” Steve said with a chuckle. “You never could keep away from the Wonder Wheel.”

“What better place to bring a girl than the most romantic ride in the world?” Bucky said with a smirk her way. 

“Hell, did it work,” she said with a snap of her fingers. “He refused to tell me how many other girls he took on that ride way back then.”

“Yeah, ‘cause none of those dates mattered anymore. Not when you were there with me,” he said, taking her hand beneath the table. 

“He also can’t count them all,” Steve said.

As Rowan snorted, Bucky gave Steve a bewildered face as he said, “I was tryin’ to be romantic, you punk.”

“Jerk.”

A round of laughter passed through the table before Bucky saw Rowan glance at her phone out of the corner of his eyes. “Oh, shoot. Bucky, we’ve got to go,” she said. 

When he glanced at his watch, he saw it was fifteen to two. “Jeez, I didn’t realize how much time had passed,” he said. “I’m sorry, Steve, we’ve got to head out.”

“Don’t worry about me, Buck. Just make sure to come back sooner,” he said, standing with them. Even with the super serum running through his veins, Steve was still frail as any other old man. Maybe just a little stronger. “Rowan, dear, do you mind if I have a chat with Bucky?”

“Of course, Steve,” she said. Taking his hand, she gave him a grateful smile. “It was an honor to finally meet you. I hope we can come again soon. I want to see how your landscape portrait is turning out.”

“I would love that,” Steve said, patting her hand a few times. “You make sure he stays on the straight and narrow, you hear?”

“Already on it, Captain,” she said. He pulled her in for a hug. Bucky smiled brightly seeing the way she squeezed Steve tightly before kissing his cheek. Steve patted her cheek a few times in thanks before he sent her off to Bucky. “I’ll start the car outside. Keys?”

“Here. I’ll meet you out there.” He gave her a light kiss before she headed out the door, leaving him alone with his best friend.

“Bucky, Rowan is something else,” Steve said as he sat down on the couch, patting for Bucky to join him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so smitten. Not even with Dot.”

“She really is,” Bucky said, a light smile unintentionally making its way onto his face. “I can never believe that I get to wake up beside her. Every morning, I always think it’s some kind of wonderful dream. But she’s really there, Steve. She’s really mine.”

“She sure as hell is,” Steve said, clapping him on the back. “Now I want you to be honest with me, Bucky.” He looked him in the eye. “You love that girl, don’t you?”

The grin he gave was almost giddy as Bucky looked down at his hands. He nodded his head and said, “Uh, yeah, I do.”

“God, miracles really can happen!” Steve said. Bucky was almost worried he would chip a tooth with how much he was beaming. “You should tell her!”

“Ah,” Bucky huffed awkwardly, “We’ve only been together for a few months. Almost three. I’m not sure if I should tell her so soon. I don’t wanna scare her off, y’know? Besides, people nowadays don’t move as fast as we used to, Steve.”

“If the way she was looking at you today is any indication, I think she’d be ecstatic to hear you say it,” Steve said. “You tell her you love her and hold her close.”

“Trust me, the last thing I want is to let her go,” Bucky said, leaning back against the couch. “I just don’t know how to tell her. Or when.”

“You’ll know,” Steve said.

“You’re getting cryptic in your old age.”

“You’re a year older than me!”

“At least I don’t look it,” he said, causing them to laugh like old times. God, Bucky missed Steve. He knew he was there, but it just wasn’t the same. 

“Alright, you should probably go. Don’t wanna keep your best girl waiting any longer,” Steve said as he stood. Bucky followed, keeping a close eye on him in case he tripped, before Steve opened the door for Bucky to head out. “Listen to me, Buck. Please take my advice. Don’t wait too long.”

“I won’t,” Bucky said. He hugged Steve, careful of his frail state, before saying, “I’ll try to come back down next week. Don’t do anything stupid until then.”

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he left the retirement home, giving a goodbye to Lisa before joining Rowan by the truck. She leaned against the hood, watching him approach, before she took him by his jacket and kissed him. Although surprised, he repaid the kiss in kind, gently holding her by the waist. “Not complaining, but what was-” He was cut off by another kiss.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” she said between her kisses. “Thank you for letting me meet your friend.”

“Like I said, I’ve been meaning to for a while,” he said, pulling away long enough to get a word in. “He’s been pestering me to bring you by for a while.”

“I’m so glad he has,” she said, her finger tracing his cheekbone. “Really, Bucky, I’m grateful you trust me enough to show me this.”

“Right now, he’s the government’s best kept secret,” he said. He hated to think of his friend in such a way, but it wasn’t like the world would understand what happened to Captain America. “And I trust you more than anyone.”

After one more kiss, she pulled away and said, “Okay, we really need to go.” Bucky jumped in the driver’s side as Rowan sat beside him. But as soon as he pulled out of the parking lot, he heard her phone ring. “Hey, Luke. Sorry, Bucky and I are going to be a little late. We got caught up-... Wait, what do you mean he backed out? Arrested?! Jesus Christ, what for? … Oh, well then thank God he didn’t turn up… Calm down, Lucas, I’ll think of something… I know Nathan really wanted him there but this is a little short notice. Okay, just let me call around and I’ll see what I can do. Bye.”

A groan of frustration was all Bucky got before he asked. “What’s wrong?”

“The Captain America we got for Nathan’s birthday got arrested for having drugs in his suit,” Rowan said as she scrambled through her phone. Bucky’s eyes widened. “Nathan wanted a Captain America for his birthday, so we set this up, but now I don’t know what to do. The party starts in an hour .”

“Does it matter what Captain America he wants?” Bucky asked, glancing between her and the road.

She clearly didn’t understand the underlying meaning of his statement as she said, “No, he loves them both. Steve’s Cap was just easier to get our hands on because he’s been around for so much longer.”

“Rowan,” he said, “I can call up Sam and see if he could drop by for a little while.”

A silence fell over the car, the only sound being the roll of wheels against the road before Rowan said breathlessly, “You would do that?”

“Absolutely. And I’m sure Sam would love it too,” Bucky said. “And I guess I could, uh, show the kids my vibranium arm if they think that’s cool. I know you haven’t told Lucas who I am yet, but if you’re okay with it-”

“Oh, my God, Bucky!” she said with a thick voice. “Yes, thank you! God, Nathan is going to have the best birthday party ever if both you and Sam are there. Lucas told me he couldn’t pull him away from the TV when you guys were fighting the Flag Smashers.”

“Anything for you, Red,” he said, taking her hand to kiss it. He pulled his phone from his pocket and had her dial Sam before putting the phone on speaker. When he picked up, Bucky asked, “Hey, man, are you free for the rest of the day?”

“Yeah, I just finished up my training with Isaiah. Why?”

“I need to ask you a favor. Rowan’s nephew is having his birthday party today and the Captain America fake they were gonna bring got… uh… well, he can’t come in. I wanted to see if you could drop by.”

“Are you kidding? I love doing things for the kids!” Rowan let out a long breath of relief. “Just let me know what time to be there. I’ll bring the shield.”

“Thank you so much, Sam,” Rowan said. “You don’t know how much this means.”

“Is that you, Rowan? Tell Bucky to pick up my damn calls and text me back.”

“I’m calling you right now,” Bucky said.

“Yeah, ‘cause you needed something.”

“For Rowan.”

“And that’s the only reason I’m doing it.” 

Rowan laughed at Sam’s words. “You can be there any time after three. Nathan is going to lose his shit when he sees you with the shield.”

“Three. Got it. I’ll see you guys then.”

“Thanks, man,” Bucky said and shut off the call.

Rowan reached over the console and kissed his cheek, startling him before she said, “You are the best boyfriend a girl could ask for.”

“I know,” he said smugly.

#

Rowan’s afternoon was a whirlwind of streamers and confetti and cake all mixing into one. She rushed around Lucas’s house, setting up the last of Nathan’s Captain America decorations before the rest of his friends turned up. Bucky had been more than helpful in picking up the slack where she couldn’t reach, and Lucas was fetching the cake from the bakery when the first of the children began to arrive at the front door. Before she knew it, there was a wild mix of nine to ten year olds running around Lucas’s backyard playing soccer while the parents watched.

When Lucas returned with the cake, he was breathing heavily, his cheeks red and sweat beading on his forehead. “Did you run from the bakery?” Rowan asked as she took the cake and put it in the fridge.

“Feels like it,” he said, brushing his black hair off his forehead. “The line was almost out the door. It took me nearly thirty minutes before I even got to the counter to pick it up.”

“Jeez, how many kids are having birthday parties?” she asked.

“Well, the guy in front of me was requesting a cake that said, ‘ congratulations on not dying and winning our case, Matt ’, so…” Lucas said. Rowan snorted at the anecdote.

“Okay, well, from your RSVP list, all the kids are here, so we should have smooth sailing from now on,” she said, spotting Bucky talking to a few of the dads outside on the back porch. His eyes crinkled as he laughed, head falling back in wild humor. 

“And what about the Cap issue?” Lucas asked quietly.

“It’s been taken care of,” she said. “Don’t worry.”

“Taken care of how?”

“Do you trust me?”

Lucas gave her a raised brow. “From how we grew up? No.”

“Okay, fair,” she said, dragging out her words. “Then trust Bucky. He set it all up.”

“Bucky? How-”

“Auntie Ro! Auntie Ro!”

Nathan was loudly calling from the open back door, drawing their gazes to the boys in the backyard. She quickly walked outside, Luke behind her, and her heart nearly exploded when she saw Bucky out on the field with her nephew. Nathan waved brightly when he saw her, yelling, “Your boyfriend is so cool! He promised to show us how to kick a feigning pass!”

Bucky shrugged and said, “Steve and I used to play a little. Not much.”

“Don’t wear him out too much, Nathan,” Rowan said. “I still need him later.”

Bucky gave her a look that said ‘come on’ while Nathan said, “I won’t! I promise!”

“I’m glad you and Bucky finally made it official,” Luke said from behind her. She turned to see him with a smug grin on his face. “I told you-”

“No-”

“I told you asking him out would be a good idea,” he said. Giving her no choice, she shoulder-checked him as she walked back inside the house. “You’re finally letting loose! It’s good to see. And he’s great with Nathan and the other kids.”

She put her hands over her face and said, “I know he’s fu-... freaking perfect.” One of Nathan's friends ran by. “Christ, I like him so much it’s terrifying.” Lucas opened his mouth. “No, we are not having this conversation at your son’s birthday party.”

“I’m just trying to say-”

“ No . Say nothing,” she said, flicking his forehead. In retaliation, he put her glasses on her face askew. “Mature.”

“You flicked me!”

“Yeah and you can still see because of your lovely Lasik,” she said, sticking her tongue out. “ I, however, have vision so bad even Lasik can’t fix it, so please, hands off the glasses.”

Lucas chuckled as she smacked his hands away from trying to correct his action, fixing her glasses herself. It was then the doorbell rang. Lucas’s eyebrows furrowed. “Were we expecting someone else?” he asked.

“Just gimme one second,” she said, rushing out to the backyard. She called Bucky, gesturing her head to the door. He nodded before giving Nathan and his friends a few last words, ruffling up Nate’s hair before he followed Rowan through the house to the front door. When she opened it, she was relieved to find Sam standing on the other side. “Sam, thank God, you’re here.”

“As if I’d miss free cake,” he said, giving Rowan a light hug and a kiss to her cheek. He greeted Bucky with what Rowan liked to call their ‘bro-hug’. On his arm was the shield, but there was someone else behind him. The man was young with tan skin and wavy black hair. He was cute and grinned widely as he greeted Bucky. “Rowan, meet Joaquin Torres.”

“I’m the new Falcon,” he said, shaking her hand. 

“You ain’t shit yet,” Sam said. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Joaquin,” she said. She could feel Lucas’s wide eyes staring over her shoulder and gently brought him over to meet their guests. “Lucas, meet Sam Wilson. Or… Captain America.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Burke,” Sam said, taking Lucas’s limp hand and shaking it.

“J-Just Luke. Uh, call me Luke,” he said, finding his voice. Rowan snorted behind her hand. “Wait a minute, does that make you- ”

When Lucas turned to Bucky, Rowan could hear him hide his gasp as he pulled off his gloves and shrugged off his jacket, revealing his vibranium arm. “James Barnes,” he said. “Sorry, I didn’t tell you before.”

“No. No, I get it, man,” Lucas said breathlessly. “I just didn’t expect my sister, of all people, to… uh…” He cleared his throat when he saw Rowan’s pointed glance. “Never mind. I’ll get the kids.”

He rushed out, flustered and red as a tomato. “You didn’t tell him we were comin’?” Sam asked as they walked further into the house.

“I wanted to keep it a surprise,” Rowan said, wrapping her hands around Bucky’s metal arm. She leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling him press a kiss to her head. “The reaction was worth it . Wish I had it on video. Oh shit- ”

She quickly pulled out her phone as she heard Lucas’s voice returning from the backyard, the rabble of parents and kids in tow behind him. She pressed record, watching with a bright smile as Nathan turned the corner. He blinked when he saw Sam. The Captain himself smiled and simply said, “Hey, birthday boy.”

Nathan’s jaw dropped as he exclaimed, “ Holy shit! ”

“Hey, language!” Rowan said.

“Sorry, Auntie Ro’!” Nathan barely said before he and all the other children of the house ran up to Sam, Joaquin, and Bucky. All the soccer players gushed and exclaimed at the fact that they all played soccer with the James Buchanan Barnes. Rowan recorded for a few more minutes, making sure to grab an angle of every single kid with each of the heroes. Joaquin was more than happy to tell a few stories about his Falcon training while Sam let the kids hold the genuine shield. “Dad! Dad! Get a picture!” Nathan said, holding out the shield like Cap himself.

“Got it, bud!”

Rowan’s smile hurt her cheeks, but she couldn’t stop. Everyone was laughing along with the kids, talking with the heroes, and just having a wonderful time. A few kids had begun to hang off of Bucky’s arm, marveling at his strength as he gave Rowan a wide grin. He laughed when she snapped a photo of Nathan swinging off his arm. 

Beside her, Lucas cleared his throat as he stopped beside her and said, “So, you didn’t tell me the Bucky you were dating was the James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.”

“It wasn’t important,” she said innocently.

He scoffed. “Either way, thank you for doing this. I think the kids are going to be talking about this for years.”

“They better. They just met Captain America. And Falcon. And an original Howling Commando. All at once,” she said.

“Not the Winter Soldier?” Lucas asked.

“He’s not that man anymore. He never was.”

“Dad,” Nathan said. “Can we have cake now? And presents!”

“I don’t know. Have you thanked the Captain and his friends for coming over to say hi?” Lucas asked as Sam, Joaquin, and Bucky stood behind him. 

Quick as a whip, Nathan turned and hugged all three men around the waist, more excited than either Rowan or Lucas had ever seen the (now) ten-year-old. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the greatest birthday ever. And thank you for dating my aunt, Mr. Barnes!”

The adults who had listened in all did their best to hide their laughter, but Bucky merely wrapped his arm over Rowan’s shoulder and said, “No thanks needed, kid. Your aunt is incredible. I’m the lucky one.”

“James Barnes, you flatterer,” she whispered, hiding her smile behind her hand. 

“Only for you, Red.”

“I believe I heard that there was cake in order?” Sam asked, raising a brow at Lucas.

“Yeah, that is the only reason I’m here,” Joaquin said. When Sam smacked him on the shoulder, he laughed and said, “Joking, man! Joking!”

“Cake is this way, people. Follow me!” Lucas called, holding up his hand to urge everyone to the large kitchen. 

Of course, the cake was Captain America themed. Rowan got a picture of Sam and Nathan together before they all began to dig into the chocolate and vanilla swirl cake. Once the kids were once again outside and the twilight began to settle over the city, a few beers were popped between the guys (and Rowan). 

When Lucas left for a few moments, Rowan nearly choked on her beer when he returned with their parents in tow behind him. “Happy birthday, Nathan!” her father exclaimed, a large package in his hand. Nathan ran with a wide grin, hugging his grandpa around the neck before giving Rowan time to say hello to her parents.

“Oh, little Ro’! Look at you!” her mother said, hugging her so tightly Rowan thought she would burst. “You look beautiful!”

“Mom, Dad, I’m so glad to see you here,” she said, kissing her father’s cheek. “Everything alright back in Tennessee? You’re settled in again?”

“All back to normal,” her father said. “Fought like hell to get the house back, but we managed.”

“Feels like we fought harder for the plane tickets here, I swear!” her mother said. “But we made it here in one piece and that’s all that counts. No more aliens descending from Heaven, please!”

“I think we’re in a pretty good place, Mom,” Rowan said. 

“Now, what’s this we’ve been hearing about a ‘boyfriend’?” her father asked, raising his bushy eyebrow at her. 

She gulped, sending the most poisonous glare she could to Lucas, who pretended to be talking to one of his friends. “Yes! Your brother told us you’ve been seeing a nice boy from the city!” her mother said. “I’m not leaving until we meet the man who coaxed you out of your shell!”

“More like dragged me kicking and screaming,” she said under her breath. “Yes, there is a… guy. And yes, he’s here now.” Her father crossed his arms, trying to push his chest out. She rolled her eyes at the display. Spotting Bucky with Sam, she caught his eye and gestured for him to save her. He approached with a sweet smile as she took his hand. Immediately, her parents’ eyes went to the metal of his arm, the one she held so closely. “Mom, Dad. This is James Barnes. Bucky… these are my parents.”

He hid his surprise well, but she could tell the drop kick she accidentally gave him caught him off guard. He graciously smiled and held out his flesh hand. “Hi, you can call me Bucky,” he said.

Her father obliged while her mother said, “I’m Cecile and this is my husband, Roger. It is wonderful to meet you, Bucky.” Rowan pursed her lips at the way her mother batted her eyelashes at Bucky.

“Nice to meet ya, son,” Roger said. “Hope I don’t have to make myself clear about your position with my daughter?”

“Roger, be nice!” her mother said, smacking him on the chest. 

“It’s alright, I understand,” Bucky said with a good-natured smile. “And, no sir. Trust me, should I ever have to be told what to do to treat your daughter like she deserves, I’ll know it’s necessary. She’s the kindest and the most courageous woman I’ve ever met and all I can try to do is live up to that to help support her. She deserves nothing less than the best and I hope you know I’m willing to give her all that and more.” Her soft eyes met his as he smiled down at her. She held back the sting in her eyes at his beautiful words. “As much as I can.”

Her father clearing his throat brought them back to the conversation. Rowan did her best to ignore the heart eyes her mother was giving Bucky at his declaration. “Alright, alright, you’ve convinced me, for now,” her father said, but winked. “Do you drink Guinness, Bucky?”

With a raised brow towards Rowan, he said, “Yeah, I do. You bring some?”

“Only the best,” her father said. “Come on, help me get it from the truck. I’ll bet you can carry your weight.”

“That I can, sir.”

Rowan watched with apologetic eyes as Bucky was escorted away by her father, but from the way he seemed relaxed, she knew she didn’t need to worry. “Oh, dear, he is a fine man,” her mother said. “And so handsome. If I were twenty years younger…”

“Okay, enough, Mom,” Rowan quickly exclaimed. The irony . Her mother simply laughed before rushing to kiss her grandson in front of all his friends. 

When Bucky and her father returned, the Guinness was broken into as Rowan, Lucas, their father, and Bucky all sat around a firepit as the children began to trickle out of the party. Sam and Joaquin had stayed until the last child left, the former yelling at Bucky to bring home his ‘baby’ in pristine condition, something Bucky merely rolled his eyes at. Nathan opened the last of his presents from his grandparents, and soon fell asleep sitting in his own little lawn chair by his father. 

Rowan revelled in the way Bucky seamlessly fit into her family’s conversations. He spoke a little about his time and took the questions about his arm as graciously as he could. In return, Rowan’s father told him about their roots in Ireland and the very reason why they were so attached to Guinness. Her mother loved to comment on the family’s ‘Irish temper’ to which Bucky had said, “Oh, I’ve definitely seen that one time or another.”

But as the sun had set and the moon set in, it was time to put Nathan to bed and for Bucky and Rowan to leave. Standing by the door, Rowan gave one last tight hug to her parents as she said, “I’m so happy to see you. And please give my regards to everyone back home. Still love you and Tennessee.”

“You both should come down to visit one day!” her mother said.

“I would love to,” Bucky said, exaggerated by the arm over Rowan’s shoulder. “Wouldn’t you love that, Red?”

“Absolutely,” Rowan said tightly.

“‘Red’. How adorable,” her mother gushed. Rowan hid her smile in Bucky’s jacket. “You both get home safe, now.”

“Good to meet ya, Sergeant,” her father said, shaking his hand and patting his shoulder. “In this family, we respect our veterans. All I can do is thank you for your never-ending service, son.”

“I appreciate it,” Bucky replied.

“We should be going,” Rowan said. “Bye, we’ll try to visit sooner rather than later.” With a few last waves and calls of goodbyes, Bucky and Rowan walked down Lucas’s driveway, hand-in-hand. Just as they were about to reach the car, Bucky stopped, looking at Rowan with an expression she couldn’t read. “Did you forget something?”

“No, I- uh…” he began, stuttering over his next few words. “I just… There’s something I wanted to say to you away from all of that and-and I know we’ve only been officially together for a few months but talking with Steve today and spending all this time with your family made me…” When he stopped, her confusion turned to concern. “Okay, I’m just going to say it. Rowan, I love you and I never want to stop drinking Guinness with you and your family and visiting Tennessee with you and spending time with your incredible nephew and brother. I want it all. With you. Because I love you so much, it scares me.”

She swore her heart stopped for a few full minutes as he rambled until she took his face in her hands and pressed a loving and tender kiss to his lips. She felt him relax under her touch, instantly wrapping her in his embrace as they kissed. When they pulled away, she smiled so brightly she swore she saw stars as Rowan said, “Bucky, I love you too.”

“Oh, thank God I didn’t scare you away,” he said, tilting his head back in relief. “I don’t think I could live with myself if you ran.”

“Well, get used to me sticking around, Sergeant,” she said, bumping her nose against his. “Because I love you too much to go anywhere.”

In between the kisses he pressed to her lips, he repeated ‘I love you’ over and over again until he laughed as he said, “I can’t stop saying it. I’m more broken than I thought.” When Bucky wrapped his hands in hers, he asked, “Fix me up?”

“I don’t see anything that needs to be fixed,” she said. His blue eyes softened, his jest drifting into another slow kiss. “Come on, we can spend the rest of the night saying it.”

“I won’t say no to that, Red,” he said, opening her door for her. She gave him her best curtsy, high on the joy in her heart as he climbed in beside her. Rowan grabbed his collar and kissed him as much as she could before Bucky said, “I need my eyes to see the road, doll.”

“Fine,” she sighed, settling back into his seat as he started the truck up. As they drove back to his apartment, she admired him silently. She couldn’t have expected to have the night go so perfectly, but it had been nothing short of a dream. Bucky Barnes truly loved her, just as Rowan Burke loved him. 

Chapter Text

One year later…

“Alpine, please!” Rowan said as Alpine curled up on her keyboard. She couldn’t help the laugh she let out before she picked up the cat and set her down on the floor of her and Bucky’s apartment. Alpine meowed in opposition. “I know, baby, but I have to finish this. You can sleep on my keyboard all you want when I’m done.” Alpine jumped back onto the couch, but settled behind Rowan’s head, leaning against her hair. She did her best not to move as she finished typing up the last of her essay.

In the year since she and Bucky made their relationship official, Rowan could say she had never been happier. They moved into a beautiful new apartment when Bucky showed her he had been looking and found the very rooms she sat in. Larger than her previous apartment, as well as Bucky’s, it gave both of them the space they had so desired. Settled in a little quiet nook of Brooklyn, it was closer to her university. And, of course, pet-friendly (Bucky would have had a tantrum if he couldn’t bring Alpine with them to their new home, which Rowan wholeheartedly agreed with). 

Her classes were coming to an end and it was almost time for her to graduate with her master’s degree in hand. All she had to do was finish the last of her thesis for her final class, and she was done. Her wrists ached from the amount she had been typing and her eyes were tired from staring at screens and volunteering at the elementary school centered in Midtown Manhattan. Kids were difficult , but by God, she loved them. Alpine meowed from behind her, rubbing her cheek against Rowan’s and nearly knocking her glasses off.

“Good God, whenever Bucky’s gone, I swear you become more clingy than me,” she said, laughing as Alpine nearly tumbled off the edge and into her lap. But she soon jumped off the cushions and ran to the door, meowing in circles as Rowan heard Bucky’s familiar footsteps echo in the hallway before he swung the door open.

She forgot all about her thesis and jumped into his arms before he even had the chance to drop his bags. Rowan knew he would catch her, he always did. She soon felt his tight grip wrapping around her, his head buried into her neck as he said, “I missed you too, Red.” Kisses were pressed to her neck before she leaned back and kissed his lips, dropping to her feet to hold him properly. “I’m sorry I’m late. We ran into a few… er, speed bumps,” he said, and she looked back to see the bruise that blossomed along his cheek.

Cupping his face in her hands, she said, “I told you to be careful. What happened?”

“Rookie agent forgot to watch his six. I had to push him out of the way of a grenade,” Bucky said. Rowan stood back and crossed her arms at his sheepish shrug. “I couldn’t let him just walk right into it, Rowan.”

“I know. I just hate it when you come back black and blue,” she said, feeling his arms go around her waist. “You always gotta be a hero, don’t you?” she said with a cheeky grin.

“Nah, I’m just the one making sure Sam gets back to Dahlia in one piece,” Bucky said.

“And who makes sure you come back to me in one piece?” she asked as she placed her arms around his neck. 

“My overwhelming need to come back to your side does that job for me,” he said, leaning in to kiss her. He pulled her glasses from her nose before deepening the kiss, urging her back to the couch as he peeled his jacket off his shoulders and pushed her down onto the cushions. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” she said. Bucky pulled back, brows raised in question and concern. “It’s movie night.”

He blinked, still hovering over her as he leaned down and said, “Red, I haven’t seen you for two weeks. To say I missed you would be an understatement.”

“Aw, I missed you too,” Rowan said, pushing against him with her foot. He pouted as he sat up on his heels. “I’m still not missing making you watch Good Will Hunting for the first time.”

“Is it really that good?” he asked, running his warm right hand along the skin of her leg as he set it on his shoulder. “Better than this?” Bucky kissed her ankle, slowly trailing his lips further and further up to her knee and thigh.

“I mean, it’s pretty damn good,” she said, her voice wavering just enough for him to catch it. She could tell from the smirk on his lips. “I promise you, James, I will let you continue this and literally anything else you want tonight after we finish this movie.”

“Anything?” he asked.

“I can sense I’m going to regret this, but yes. Anything ,” she said, meeting his baby blues.

He gave her back her glasses by slipping them on over her nose. “These are staying on all night, first of all,” he said, pressing a chaste kiss to her flushed cheek. “The rest I’ll save for the rest of the night. I’m going to go shower. I’ll be back in ten.”

Before he could pull away, Rowan grabbed him by the back of his neck and pressed a heated and wild kiss to his lips. He paid it back in kind, his hand tangling in her red hair as he pressed forward, only for her to slip away with a sultry smile. “I love you,” she said.

His smile was almost dopey as he replied, “I love you too.” With a chaste kiss, he stood and said, “Ten minutes, tops.” True to his word, as Rowan finished up the last few words of her thesis, Bucky returned with wet hair as he pulled on a plain shirt. In the year they had been together, he had let his hair grow longer, just enough for Rowan to grab when she felt like teasing him. “You want to hear something crazy?”

“A lot of what you say is crazy, but do continue,” she said as she shut her laptop. She still had to edit the entire paper, but that was a process for much later.

“Har har,” he said as he dropped beside her. “Sam said I should run for Congress.”

Rowan blinked. “Congress? As in… become a congressman? In politics? In the public?” With each question, Bucky nodded his head. “What brought this on?”

He shrugged. “I was just thinking out loud, saying how I wanted to show the world I’m not the same man I was ten years ago. And I know that the veterans here are treated with little to no respect and I want to help some of them out if I can. They’ve been to hell and back and they deserve at least some compensation for the horrors they had to see. And perhaps I could, I don’t know, uncomplicate some of the problems we’ve got. Maybe some old-fashioned thinking is what the world needs right now.” She was stunned, more than anything else, but when he saw her silence, he shook his head and said, “Yeah, maybe it was just a stupid idea. I probably wouldn’t win anyway.”

“No, no, Bucky, that isn’t…” she began, laughing a little before she continued. “I was just surprised. I mean, you weren’t exactly the most outgoing man when I first met you. But running for Congress? Honestly, I think it’s a great idea.”

“Really?” he asked. He leaned in close to her, excitement coursing through his eyes. 

“Yes!” she said with a nod. “I know I’m not the most communicative of women when it comes to politics, but what you said is true. And I think nobody would handle these problems better than you, Bucky.”

“You’re not just saying this to back my crazy idea, right?” he asked, pulling her into his chest. 

“Never. Think about it,” she said as she grinned up at him. “‘Future Congressman James Buchanan Barnes’. It’s got a nice ring to it.”

He beamed, saying, “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” His hand ran up and down her arm. “I’ll just have to figure out how to campaign for that.”

“You’ve literally got Captain America on your side, Buck,” she said. “I think he’ll help you out there.” He kissed her temple as she said, “You’ve got my vote, too.”

“The only vote that matters to me,” he said, leaning down to kiss her lips sweetly. “Okay, we’re watching this movie, right?” Alpine jumped up on the couch and curled up in Bucky’s lap, his hand instantly moving to pet her fur.

“Absolutely,” Rowan said as she leaned forward to grab the remote. “Matt Damon wrote this when he went to college. It’s what made him and Ben Affleck so famous.”

“I don’t know who either of those men are, but okay,” he said.

Rowan pulled a blanket over their legs as she snuggled up into Bucky’s warmth. Alpine sat pleasantly between them as the movie started. If someone had told either Bucky or Rowan five years ago that they would be where they are today, neither would have thought it possible. But as they sat together in the comfort of their home, the blinking lights of New York’s Brooklyn shining outside their window, it was the only life either of them could imagine going forward. It was just them, Alpine, and their own little world. 

Bucky would thank God every single day that he stumbled upon the Velvet Vixen, and Rowan would thank Rich for the rest of her life for giving her that job. For it led them to one another and true happiness neither of them had felt for years.